diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:25:26 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 05:25:26 -0700 |
| commit | dbee30a00d5cc286b4bcd766884d26aa106f0faa (patch) | |
| tree | 8f0e88c35be1c3c47cb5a3131116d7be82a2c175 /old/wc27w10.txt | |
Diffstat (limited to 'old/wc27w10.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/wc27w10.txt | 19887 |
1 files changed, 19887 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/old/wc27w10.txt b/old/wc27w10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bf35924 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/wc27w10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,19887 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Ebook Inside of the Cup, Entire, by Winston Churchill +WC#27 in our series by Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Inside of the Cup, Complete + +Author: Winston Churchill (USA author, not Sir Winston Churchill) + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5364] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on July 5, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INSIDE OF THE CUP, ALL, BY CHURCHILL *** + + + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + + +TABLE OF CONTENTS + +Volume 1. +I. THE WARING PROBLEMS +II. MR. LANGMAID'S MISSION +III. THE PRIMROSE PATH +IV. SOME RIDDLES OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY + +Volume 2. +V. THE RECTOR HAS MORE FOOD FOR THOUGHT. +VI. "WATCHMAN, WHAT OF THE NIGHT" +VII. THE KINGDOMS OF THE WORLD +VIII. THE LINE of LEAST RESISTANCE. + +Volume 3. +IX. THE DIVINE DISCONTENT +X. THE MESSENGER IN THE CHURCH +XI. THE LOST PARISHIONER +XII. THE WOMAN OF THE SONG + +Volume 4. +XIII. WINTERBOURNE +XIV. A SATURDAY AFTERNOON +XV. THE CRUCIBLE +XVI. AMID THE ENCIRCLING GLOOM + +Volume 5. +XVII. RECONSTRUCTION +XVIII. THE RIDDLE OF CAUSATION +XIX. MR. GOODRICH BECOMES A PARTISAN + +Volume 6. +XX. THE ARRAIGNMENT +XXI. ALISON GOES TO CHURCH +XXII. WHICH SAY TO THE SEERS, SEE NOT! + +Volume 7. +XXIII. THE CHOICE +XXIV. THE VESTRY MEETS +XXV. "RISE, CROWNED WITH LIGHT!" +XXVI. THE CURRENT OF LIFE + +Volume 8. +XXVII. RETRIBUTION +XXVIII. LIGHT + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +Volume 1. + + +CHAPTER I + +THE WARING PROBLEMS + + +I + +With few exceptions, the incidents recorded in these pages take place in +one of the largest cities of the United States of America, and of that +portion called the Middle West,--a city once conservative and provincial, +and rather proud of these qualities; but now outgrown them, and linked by +lightning limited trains to other teeming centers of the modern world: a +city overtaken, in recent years, by the plague which has swept our +country from the Atlantic to the Pacific--Prosperity. Before its advent, +the Goodriches and Gores, the Warings, the Prestons and the Atterburys +lived leisurely lives in a sleepy quarter of shade trees and spacious +yards and muddy macadam streets, now passed away forever. Existence was +decorous, marriage an irrevocable step, wives were wives, and the +Authorized Version of the Bible was true from cover to cover. So Dr. +Gilman preached, and so they believed. + +Sunday was then a day essentially different from other days--you could +tell it without looking at the calendar. The sun knew it, and changed +the quality of his light the very animals, dogs and cats and horses, knew +it: and most of all the children knew it, by Sunday school, by Dr. +Gilman's sermon, by a dizzy afternoon connected in some of their minds +with ceramics and a lack of exercise; by a cold tea, and by church bells. +You were not allowed to forget it for one instant. The city suddenly +became full of churches, as though they had magically been let down from +heaven during Saturday night. They must have been there on week days, +but few persons ever thought of them. + +Among the many church bells that rang on those bygone Sundays was +that of St. John's, of which Dr. Gilman, of beloved memory, was rector. +Dr. Gilman was a saint, and if you had had the good luck to be baptized +or married or buried by him, you were probably fortunate in an earthly as +well as heavenly sense. One has to be careful not to deal exclusively in +superlatives, and yet it is not an exaggeration to say that St. John's +was the most beautiful and churchly edifice in the city, thanks chiefly +to several gentlemen of sense, and one gentleman, at least, of taste--Mr. +Horace Bentley. The vicissitudes of civil war interrupted its building; +but when, in 1868, it stood completed, its stone unsoiled as yet by +factory smoke, its spire delicately pointing to untainted skies, its rose +window glowing above the porch, citizens on Tower Street often stopped to +gaze at it diagonally across the vacant lot set in order by Mr. Thurston +Gore, with the intent that the view might be unobstructed. + +Little did the Goodriches and Gores, the Warings and Prestons and +Atterburys and other prominent people foresee the havoc that prosperity +and smoke were to play with their residential plans! One by one, sooty +commerce drove them out, westward, conservative though they were, from +the paradise they had created; blacker and blacker grew the gothic facade +of St. John's; Thurston Gore departed, but leased his corner first for a +goodly sum, his ancestors being from Connecticut; leased also the vacant +lot he had beautified, where stores arose and hid the spire from Tower +Street. Cable cars moved serenely up the long hill where a panting third +horse had been necessary, cable cars resounded in Burton Street, between +the new factory and the church where Dr. Gilman still preached of peace +and the delights of the New-Jerusalem. And before you could draw your +breath, the cable cars had become electric. Gray hairs began to appear +in the heads of the people Dr. Gilman had married in the '60's and their +children were going East to College. + + + +II + +In the first decade of the twentieth century, Asa, Waring still clung to +the imposing, early Victorian mansion in Hamilton Street. It presented +an uncompromising and rather scornful front to the sister mansions with +which it had hitherto been on intimate terms, now fast degenerating into +a shabby gentility, seeking covertly to catch the eye of boarders, but as +yet refraining from open solicitation. Their lawns were growing a little +ragged, their stone steps and copings revealing cracks. + +Asa Waring looked with a stern distaste upon certain aspects of modern +life. And though he possessed the means to follow his friends and +erstwhile neighbours into the newer paradise five miles westward, he had +successfully resisted for several years a formidable campaign to uproot +him. His three married daughters lived in that clean and verdant +district surrounding the Park (spelled with a capital), while Evelyn and +Rex spent most of their time in the West End or at the Country Clubs. +Even Mrs. Waring, who resembled a Roman matron, with her wavy white hair +parted in the middle and her gentle yet classic features, sighed secretly +at times at the unyielding attitude of her husband, although admiring him +for it. The grandchildren drew her. + +On the occasion of Sunday dinner, when they surrounded her, her heart was +filled to overflowing. + +The autumn sunlight, reddened somewhat by the slight haze of smoke, +poured in at the high windows of the dining-room, glinted on the silver, +and was split into bewildering colors by the prisms of the chandelier. +Many precious extra leaves were inserted under the white cloth, and Mrs. +Waring's eyes were often dimmed with happiness as she glanced along the +ranks on either side until they rested on the man with whom she had +chosen to pass her life. Her admiration for him had gradually grown into +hero-worship. His anger, sometimes roused, had a terrible moral quality +that never failed to thrill her, and the Loyal Legion button on his black +frock coat seemed to her an epitome of his character. He sat for the +most part silent, his remarkable, penetrating eyes, lighting under his +grizzled brows, smiling at her, at the children, at the grandchildren. +And sometimes he would go to the corner table, where the four littlest +sat, and fetch one back to perch on his knee and pull at his white, +military mustache. + +It was the children's day. Uproar greeted the huge white cylinder of +ice-cream borne by Katie, the senior of the elderly maids; uproar greeted +the cake; and finally there was a rush for the chocolates, little tablets +wrapped in tinfoil and tied with red and blue ribbon. After that, the +pandemonium left the dining-room, to spread itself over the spacious +house from the basement to the great playroom in the attic, where the +dolls and blocks and hobby-horses of the parental generation stoically +awaited the new. + +Sometimes a visitor was admitted to this sacramental feat, the dearest +old gentleman in the world, with a great, high bridged nose, a slight +stoop, a kindling look, and snow white hair, though the top of his head +was bald. He sat on Mrs. Waring's right, and was treated with the +greatest deference by the elders, and with none at all by the children, +who besieged him. The bigger ones knew that he had had what is called a +history; that he had been rich once, with a great mansion of his own, but +now he lived on Dalton Street, almost in the slums, and worked among the +poor. His name was Mr. Bentley. + +He was not there on the particular Sunday when this story opens, +otherwise the conversation about to be recorded would not have taken +place. For St. John's Church was not often mentioned in Mr. Bentley's +presence. + +"Well, grandmother," said Phil Goodrich, who was the favourite son-in- +law, "how was the new rector to-day?" + +"Mr. Hodder is a remarkable young man, Phil," Mrs. Waring declared, +"and delivered such a good sermon. I couldn't help wishing that you +and Rex and Evelyn and George had been in church." + +"Phil couldn't go," explained the unmarried and sunburned Evelyn, "he had +a match on of eighteen holes with me." + +Mrs. Waring sighed. + +"I can't think what's got into the younger people these days that they +seem so indifferent to religion. Your father's a vestryman, Phil, and +I believe it has always been his hope that you would succeed him. I'm +afraid Rex won't succeed his father," she added, with a touch of regret +and a glance of pride at her husband. "You never go to church, Rex. +Phil does." + +"I got enough church at boarding-school to last me a lifetime, mother," +her son replied. He was slightly older than Evelyn, and just out of +college. "Besides, any heathen can get on the vestry--it's a financial +board, and they're due to put Phil on some day. They're always putting +him on boards." + +His mother looked a little distressed. + +"Rex, I wish you wouldn't talk that way about the Church--" + +"I'm sorry, mother," he said, with quick penitence. "Mr. Langmaid's a +vestryman, you know, and they've only got him there because he's the best +corporation lawyer in the city. He isn't exactly what you'd call +orthodox. He never goes." + +"We are indebted to Mr. Langmaid for Mr. Hodder." This was one of Mr. +Waring's rare remarks. + +Eleanor Goodrich caught her husband's eye, and smiled. + +"I wonder why it is," she said, "that we are so luke-warm about church in +these days? I don't mean you, Lucy, or Laureston," she added to her +sister, Mrs. Grey. "You're both exemplary." Lucy bowed ironically. +"But most people of our ages with whom we associate. Martha Preston, for +instance. We were all brought up like the children of Jonathan Edwards. +Do you remember that awful round-and-round feeling on Sunday afternoons, +Sally, and only the wabbly Noah's Ark elephant to play with, right in +this house? instead of THAT!" There was a bump in the hall without, and +shrieks of laughter. "I'll never forget the first time it occurred to +me--when I was reading Darwin--that if the ark were as large as Barnum's +Circus and the Natural History Museum put together, it couldn't have held +a thousandth of the species on earth. It was a blow." + +"I don't know what we're coming to," exclaimed Mrs. Waring gently. + +"I didn't mean to be flippant, mother," said Eleanor penitently, "but I +do believe the Christian religion has got to be presented in a different +way, and a more vital way, to appeal to a new generation. I am merely +looking facts in the face." + +"What is the Christian religion?" asked Sally's husband, George Bridges, +who held a chair of history in the local flourishing university. "I've +been trying to find out all my life." + +"You couldn't be expected to know, George," said his wife. "You were +brought up an Unitarian, and went to Harvard." + +"Never mind, professor," said Phil Goodrich, in a quizzical, affectionate +tone. "Take the floor and tell us what it isn't." + +George Bridges smiled. He was a striking contrast in type to his square- +cut and vigorous brother-m-law; very thin, with slightly protruding eyes +the color of the faded blue glaze of ancient pottery, and yet humorous. + +"I've had my chance, at any rate. Sally made me go last Sunday and hear +Mr. Hodder." + +"I can't see why you didn't like him, George," Lucy cried. "I think he's +splendid." + +"Oh, I like him," said Mr. Bridges. + +"That's just it!" exclaimed Eleanor. "I like him. I think he's sincere. +And that first Sunday he came, when I saw him get up in the pulpit and +wave that long arm of his, all I could think of was a modern Savonarola. +He looks one. And then, when he began to preach, it was maddening. I +felt all the time that he could say something helpful, if he only would. +But he didn't. It was all about the sufficiency of grace,--whatever that +may be. He didn't explain it. He didn't give me one notion as to how to +cope a little better with the frightful complexities of the modern lives +we live, or how to stop quarrelling with Phil when he stays at the office +and is late for dinner." + +"Eleanor, I think you're unjust to him," said Lucy, amid the laughter of +the men of the family. "Most people in St. John's think he is a +remarkable preacher." + +"So were many of the Greek sophists," George Bridges observed. + +"Now if it were only dear old Doctor Gilman," Eleanor continued, "I could +sink back into a comfortable indifference. But every Sunday this new man +stirs me up, not by what he says, but by what he is. I hoped we'd get a +rector with modern ideas, who would be able to tell me what to teach my +children. Little Phil and Harriet come back from Sunday school with all +sorts of questions, and I feel like a hypocrite. At any rate, if Mr. +Hodder hasn't done anything else, he's made me want to know." + +"What do you mean by a man of modern ideas, Eleanor?" inquired Mr. +Bridges, with evident relish. + +Eleanor put down her coffee cup, looked at him helplessly, and smiled. + +"Somebody who will present Christianity to me in such a manner that it +will appeal to my reason, and enable me to assimilate it into my life." + +"Good for you, Nell," said her husband, approvingly. "Come now, +professor, you sit up in the University' Club all Sunday morning and +discuss recondite philosophy with other learned agnostics, tell us what +is the matter with Mr. Hodder's theology. That is, if it will not shock +grandmother too much." + +"I'm afraid I've got used to being shocked, Phil," said Mrs. Waring, with +her quiet smile. + +"It's unfair," Mr. Bridges protested, "to ask a prejudiced pagan like me +to pronounce judgment on an honest parson who is labouring according to +his lights." + +"Go on, George. You shan't get out of it that way." + +"Well," said George, "the trouble is, from the theological point of view, +that your parson is preaching what Auguste Sabatier would call a +diminished and mitigated orthodoxy." + +"Great heavens!" cried Phil. "What's that?" + +"It's neither fish, flesh, nor fowl, nor good red herring," the professor +declared. "If Mr. Hodder were cornered he couldn't maintain that he, as +a priest, has full power to forgive sins, and yet he won't assert that he +hasn't. The mediaeval conception of the Church, before Luther's day, was +consistent, at any rate, if you once grant the premises on which it was +based." + +"What premises?" + +"That the Almighty had given it a charter, like an insurance company, +of a monopoly of salvation on this portion of the Universe, and agreed to +keep his hands off. Under this conception, the sale of indulgences, +masses for the soul, and temporal power are perfectly logical-- +inevitable. Kings and princes derive their governments from the Church. +But if we once begin to doubt the validity of this charter, as the +Reformers did, the whole system flies to pieces, like sticking a pin into +a soap bubble. + +"That is the reason why--to change the figure--the so-called Protestant +world has been gradually sliding down hill ever since the Reformation. +The great majority of men are not willing to turn good, to renounce the +material and sensual rewards under their hands without some definite and +concrete guaranty that, if they do so, they are going, to be rewarded +hereafter. They demand some sort of infallibility. And when we let go +of the infallibility of the Church, we began to slide toward what looked +like a bottomless pit, and we clutched at the infallibility of the Bible. +And now that has begun to roll. + +"What I mean by a mitigated orthodoxy is this: I am far from accusing Mr. +Hodder of insincerity, but he preaches as if every word of the Bible were +literally true, and had been dictated by God to the men who held the pen, +as if he, as a priest, held some supernatural power that could definitely +be traced, through what is known as the Apostolic Succession, back to +Peter." + +"Do you mean to say, George," asked Mrs. Waring, with a note of pain in +her voice, "that the Apostolic Succession cannot be historically proved?" + +"My dear mother," said George, "I hope you will hold me innocent of +beginning this discussion. As a harmless professor of history in our +renowned University (of which we think so much that we do not send our +sons to it) I have been compelled by the children whom you have brought +up to sit in judgment on the theology of your rector." + +"They will leave us nothing!" she sighed. + +"Nothing, perhaps, that was invented by man to appeal to man's +superstition and weakness. Of the remainder--who can say?" + +"What," asked Mrs. Waring, "do they say about the Apostolic Succession?" + +"Mother is as bad as the rest of us," said Eleanor. + +"Isn't she, grandfather?" + +"If I had a house to rent," said Mr. Bridges, when the laughter had +subsided, "I shouldn't advertise five bath rooms when there were only +two, or electricity when there was only gas. I should be afraid my +tenants might find it out, and lose a certain amount of confidence in me. +But the orthodox churches are running just such a risk to-day, and if any +person who contemplates entering these churches doesn't examine the +premises first, he refrains at his own cost. + +"The situation in the early Christian Church is now a matter of history, +and he who runs may read. The first churches, like those of Corinth and +Ephesus and Rome, were democracies: no such thing as a priestly line to +carry on a hierarchy, an ecclesiastical dynasty, was dreamed of. It may +be gathered from the gospels that such an idea was so far from the mind +of Christ that his mission was to set at naught just such another +hierarchy, which then existed in Israel. The Apostles were no more +bishops than was John the Baptist, but preachers who travelled from place +to place, like Paul. The congregations, at Rome and elsewhere, elected +their own 'presbyteri, episcopoi' or overseers. It is, to say the least, +doubtful, and it certainly cannot be proved historically, that Peter ever +was in Rome." + +"The professor ought to have a pulpit of his own," said Phil. + +There was a silence. And then Evelyn, who had been eating quantities of +hothouse grapes, spoke up. + +"So far as I can see, the dilemma in which our generation finds itself is +this,--we want to know what there is in Christianity that we can lay hold +of. We should like to believe, but, as George says, all our education +contradicts the doctrines that are most insisted upon. We don't know +where to turn. We have the choice of going to people like George, who +know a great deal and don't believe anything, or to clergymen like Mr. +Hodder, who demand that we shall violate the reason in us which has been +so carefully trained." + +"Upon my word, I think you've put it rather well, Evelyn," said Eleanor, +admiringly. + +"In spite of personalities," added Mr. Bridges. + +"I don't see the use of fussing about it," proclaimed Laureston Grey, who +was the richest and sprucest of the three sons-in-law. "Why can't we let +well enough alone?" + +"Because it isn't well enough," Evelyn replied. "I want the real thing +or nothing. I go to church once a month, to please mother. It doesn't +do me any good. And I don't see what good it does you and Lucy to go +every Sunday. You never think of it when you're out at dinners and +dances during the week. And besides," she added, with the arrogance of +modern youth, "you and Lucy are both intellectually lazy." + +"I like that from you, Evelyn," her sister flared up. + +"You never read anything except the sporting columns and the annual rules +of tennis and golf and polo." + +"Must everything be reduced to terms?" Mrs. Waring gently lamented. +"Why can't we, as Laury suggests, just continue to trust?" + +"They are the more fortunate, perhaps, who can, mother," George Bridges +answered, with more of feeling in his voice than he was wont to show. +"Unhappily, truth does not come that way. If Roger Bacon and Galileo and +Newton and Darwin and Harvey and the others had "just trusted," the +world's knowledge would still remain as stationary as it was during the +thousand-odd years the hierarchy of the Church was supreme, when theology +was history, philosophy, and science rolled into one. If God had not +meant man to know something of his origin differing from the account in +Genesis, he would not have given us Darwin and his successors. +Practically every great discovery since the Revival we owe to men who, +by their very desire for truth, were forced into opposition to the +tremendous power of the Church, which always insisted that people should +'just trust,' and take the mixture of cosmogony and Greek philosophy, +tradition and fable, paganism, Judaic sacerdotalism, and temporal power +wrongly called spiritual dealt out by this same Church as the last word +on science, philosophy, history, metaphysics, and government." + +"Stop!" cried Eleanor. "You make me dizzy." + +"Nearly all the pioneers to whom we owe our age of comparative +enlightenment were heretics," George persisted. "And if they could have +been headed off, or burned, most of us would still be living in mud caves +at the foot of the cliff on which stood the nobleman's castle; and kings +would still be kings by divine decree, scientists--if there were any-- +workers in the black art, and every phenomenon we failed to understand, +a miracle." + +"I choose the United States of America," ejaculated Evelyn. + +"I gather, George," said Phil Goodrich, "that you don't believe in +miracles." + +"Miracles are becoming suspiciously fewer and fewer. Once, an eclipse of +the sun was enough to throw men on their knees because they thought it +supernatural. If they were logical they'd kneel today because it has +been found natural. Only the inexplicable phenomena are miracles; and +after a while--if the theologians will only permit us to finish the job-- +there won't be any inexplicable phenomena. Mystery, as I believe William +James puts it may be called the more-to-be-known." + +"In taking that attitude, George, aren't you limiting the power of God?" +said Mrs. Waring. + +"How does it limit the power of God, mother," her son-in-law asked, "to +discover that he chooses to work by laws? The most suicidal tendency in +religious bodies today is their mediaeval insistence on what they are +pleased to call the supernatural. Which is the more marvellous--that God +can stop the earth and make the sun appear to stand still, or that he can +construct a universe of untold millions of suns with planets and +satellites, each moving in its orbit, according to law; a universe +wherein every atom is true to a sovereign conception? And yet this +marvel of marvels--that makes God in the twentieth century infinitely +greater than in the sixteenth--would never have been discovered if the +champions of theology had had their way." + +Mrs. Waring smiled a little. + +"You are too strong for me, George," she said, "but you mustn't expect +an old woman to change." + +"Mother, dear," cried Eleanor, rising and laying her hand on Mrs. +Waring's cheek, "we don't want you to change. It's ourselves we wish to +change, we wish for a religious faith like yours, only the same teaching +which gave it to you is powerless for us. That's our trouble. We have +only to look at you," she added, a little wistfully, "to be sure there is +something--something vital in Christianity, if we could only get at it, +something that does not depend upon what we have been led to believe is +indispensable. George, and men like him, can only show the weakness in +the old supports. I don't mean that they aren't doing the world a +service in revealing errors, but they cannot reconstruct." + +"That is the clergyman's business," declared Mr. Bridges. "But he must +first acknowledge that the old supports are worthless." + +"Well," said Phil, "I like your rector, in spite of his anthropomorphism +--perhaps, as George would say, because of it. There is something manly +about him that appeals to me." + +There," cried Eleanor, triumphantly, "I've always said Mr. Hodder had a +spiritual personality. You feel--you feel there is truth shut up inside +of him which he cannot communicate. I'll tell you who impresses me in +that way more strongly than any one else--Mr. Bentley. And he doesn't +come to church any more." + +"Mr. Bentley," said her, mother, "is a saint. Your father tried to get +him to dinner to-day, but he had promised those working girls of his, who +live on the upper floors of his house, to dine with them. One of them +told me so. Of course he will never speak of his kindnesses." + +"Mr. Bentley doesn't bother his head about theology," said Sally. "He +just lives." + +"There's Eldon Parr," suggested George Bridges, mentioning the name of +the city's famous financier; "I'm told he relieved Mr. Bentley of his +property some twenty-five years ago. If Mr. Hodder should begin to +preach the modern heresy which you desire, Mr Parr might object. He's +very orthodox, I'm told." + +"And Mr. Parr," remarked the modern Evelyn, sententiously, "pays the +bills, at St. John's. Doesn't he, father?" + +"I fear he pays a large proportion of them," Mr. Waring admitted, in a +serious tone. + +"In these days," said Evelyn, "the man who pays the bills is entitled to +have his religion as he likes it." + +"No matter how he got the money to pay them," added Phil. + +"That suggests another little hitch in the modern church which will have +to be straightened out," said George Bridges. + +"'Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye make clean the +outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of +extortion and excess.'" + +"Why, George, you of all people quoting the Bible!" Eleanor exclaimed. + +"And quoting it aptly, too," said Phil Goodrich. + +"I'm afraid if we began on the scribes and Pharisees, we shouldn't stop +with Mr. Parr," Asa Wiring observed, with a touch of sadness. + +"In spite of all they say he has done, I can't help feeling sorry for +him," said Mrs. Waring. "He must be so lonely in that huge palace of +his beside the Park, his wife dead, and Preston running wild around the +world, and Alison no comfort. The idea of a girl leaving her father +as she did and going off to New York to become a landscape architect!" + +"But, mother," Evelyn pleaded, "I can't see why a woman shouldn't lead +her own life. She only has one, like a man. And generally she doesn't +get that." + +Mrs. Waring rose. + +"I don't know what we're coming to. I was taught that a woman's place +was with her husband and children; or, if she had none, with her family. +I tried to teach you so, my dear." + +"Well," said Evelyn, "I'm here yet. I haven't Alison's excuse. Cheer +up, mother, the world's no worse than it was." + +"I don't know about that," answered Mrs. Waring. + +"Listen!" ejaculated Eleanor. + +Mrs. Waring's face brightened. Sounds of mad revelry came down from the +floor above. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +MR. LANGMAID'S MISSION + + +I + +Looking back over an extraordinary career, it is interesting to attempt +to fix the time when a name becomes a talisman, and passes current for +power. This is peculiarly difficult in the case of Eldon Parr. Like +many notable men before him, nobody but Mr. Parr himself suspected his +future greatness, and he kept the secret. But if we are to search what +is now ancient history for a turning-point, perhaps we should find it +in the sudden acquisition by him of the property of Mr. Bentley. + +The transaction was a simple one. Those were the days when gentlemen, as +matters of courtesy, put their names on other gentlemen's notes; and +modern financiers, while they might be sorry for Mr. Bentley, would +probably be unanimous in the opinion that he was foolish to write on the +back of Thomas Garrett's. Mr. Parr was then, as now, a business man, and +could scarcely be expected to introduce philanthropy into finance. Such +had been Mr. Bentley's unfortunate practice. And it had so happened, +a few years before, for the accommodation of some young men of his +acquaintance that he had invested rather generously in Grantham mining +stock at twenty-five cents a share, and had promptly forgotten the +transaction. To cut a long story short, in addition to Mr. Bentley's +house and other effects, Mr. Parr became the owner of the Grantham stock, +which not long after went to one hundred dollars. The reader may do the +figuring. + +Where was some talk at this time, but many things had happened since. +For example, Mr. Parr had given away great sums in charity. And it may +likewise be added in his favour that Mr. Bentley was glad to be rid of +his fortune. He had said so. He deeded his pew back to St. John's, and +protesting to his friends that he was not unhappy, he disappeared from +the sight of all save a few. The rising waters of Prosperity closed over +him. But Eliza Preston, now Mrs. Parr, was one of those who were never +to behold him again,--in this world, at least. + +She was another conspicuous triumph in that career we are depicting. +Gradual indeed had been the ascent from the sweeping out of a store to +the marrying of a Preston, but none the less sure inevitable. For many +years after this event, Eldon Parr lived modestly in what was known as a +"stone-front" house in Ransome Street, set well above the sidewalk, with +a long flight of yellow stone steps leading to it; steps scrubbed with +Sapoho twice a week by a negro in rubber boots. There was a stable with +a tarred roof in the rear, to be discerned beyond the conventional side +lawn that was broken into by the bay window of the dining-room. There, +in that house, his two children were born: there, within those inartistic +walls, Eliza Preston lived a life that will remain a closed book forever. +What she thought, what she dreamed, if anything, will never be revealed. +She did not, at least, have neurasthenia, and for all the world knew, she +may have loved her exemplary and successful husband, with whom her life +was as regular as the Strasburg clock. She breakfasted at eight and +dined at seven; she heard her children's lessons and read them Bible +stories; and at half past ten every Sunday morning, rain or shine, walked +with them and her husband to the cars on Tower Street to attend service +at St. John's, for Mr. Parr had scruples in those days about using the +carriage on the Sabbath. + +She did not live, alas, to enjoy for long the Medicean magnificence of +the mansion facing the Park, to be a companion moon in the greater orbit. +Eldon Part's grief was real, and the beautiful English window in the +south transept of the church bears witness to it. And yet it cannot be +said that he sought solace in religion, so apparently steeped in it had +he always been. It was destiny that he should take his place on the +vestry; destiny, indeed, that he should ultimately become the vestry +as well as the first layman of the diocese; unobtrusively, as he had +accomplished everything else in life, in spite of Prestons and Warings, +Atterburys, Goodriches, and Gores. And he was wont to leave his weighty +business affairs to shift for themselves while he attended the diocesan +and general conventions of his Church. + +He gave judiciously, as becomes one who holds a fortune in trust, yet +generously, always permitting others to help, until St. John's was a very +gem of finished beauty. And, as the Rothschilds and the Fuggera made +money for grateful kings and popes, so in a democratic age, Eldon Parr +became the benefactor of an adulatory public. The university, the +library, the hospitals, and the parks of his chosen city bear witness. + + + +II + +For forty years, Dr. Gilman had been the rector of St. John's. One +Sunday morning, he preached his not unfamiliar sermon on the text, "For +now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face," and when the +next Sunday dawned he was in his grave in Winterbourne Cemetery, +sincerely mourned within the parish and without. In the nature of mortal +things, his death was to be expected: no less real was the crisis to be +faced At the vestry meeting that followed, the problem was tersely set +forth by Eldon Parr, his frock coat tightly buttoned about his chest, his +glasses in his hand. + +"Gentlemen," he said, "we have to fulfil a grave responsibility to the +parish, to the city, and to God. The matter of choosing a rector to-day, +when clergymen are meddling with all sorts of affairs which do not +concern them, is not so simple as it was twenty years ago. We have, at +St. John's, always been orthodox and dignified, and I take it to be the +sense of this vestry that we remain so. I conceive it our duty to find +a man who is neither too old nor too young, who will preach the faith +as we received it, who is not sensational, and who does not mistake +socialism for Christianity." + +By force of habit, undoubtedly, Mr. Parr glanced at Nelson Langmaid as he +sat down. Innumerable had been the meetings of financial boards at which +Mr. Parr had glanced at Langmaid, who had never failed to respond. He +was that sine qua non of modern affairs, a corporation lawyer,--although +he resembled a big and genial professor of Scandinavian extraction. He +wore round, tortoise-shell spectacles, he had a high, dome-like forehead, +and an ample light brown beard which he stroked from time to time. It is +probable that he did not believe in the immortality of the soul. + +His eyes twinkled as he rose. + +"I don't pretend to be versed in theology, gentlemen, as you know," he +said, and the entire vestry, even Mr. Parr, smiled. For vestries, in +spite of black coats and the gravity of demeanour which first citizens +are apt to possess, are human after all. "Mr. Parr has stated, I +believe; the requirements, and I agree with him that it is not an easy +order to fill. You want a parson who will stick to his last, who will +not try experiments, who is not too high or too low or too broad or too +narrow, who has intellect without too much initiative, who can deliver a +good sermon to those who can appreciate one, and yet will not get the +church uncomfortably full of strangers and run you out of your pews. In +short, you want a level-headed clergyman about thirty-five years old who +will mind his own business" + +The smiles on the faces of the vestry deepened. The ability to put a +matter thus humorously was a part of Nelson Langmaid's power with men +and juries. + +"I venture to add another qualification," he continued, "and that is +virility. We don't want a bandbox rector. Well, I happen to have in +mind a young man who errs somewhat on the other side, and who looks a +little like a cliff profile I once saw on Lake George of George +Washington or an Indian chief, who stands about six feet two. + +He's a bachelor--if that's a drawback. But I am not at all sure he can +be induced to leave his present parish, where he has been for ten years." + +"I am," announced Wallis Plimpton, with his hands in his pockets, +"provided the right man tackles him." + + + +III + +Nelson Langmaid's most notable achievement, before he accomplished the +greater one of getting a new rector for St. John's, had been to construct +the "water-tight box" whereby the Consolidated Tractions Company had +become a law-proof possibility. But his was an esoteric reputation, +--the greater fame had been Eldon Parr's. Men's minds had been dazzled +by the breadth of the conception of scooping all the street-car lines of +the city, long and short, into one big basket, as it were; and when the +stock had been listed in New York, butcher and baker, clerk and +proprietor, widow and maid, brought out their hoardings; the great +project was discussed in clubs, cafes, and department stores, and by +citizens hanging on the straps of the very cars that were to be +consolidated--golden word! Very little appeared about Nelson Langmaid, +who was philosophically content. But to Mr. Parr, who was known to +dislike publicity, were devoted pages in the Sunday newspapers, with +photographs of the imposing front of his house in Park Street, his altar +and window in St. John's, the Parr building, and even of his private car, +Antonia. + +Later on, another kind of publicity, had come. The wind had whistled +for a time, but it turned out to be only a squall. The Consolidated +Tractions Company had made the voyage for which she had been constructed, +and thus had fulfilled her usefulness; and the cleverest of the rats who +had mistaken her for a permanent home scurried ashore before she was +broken up. + +All of which is merely in the nature of a commentary on Mr. Langmaid's +genius. His reputation for judgment--which by some is deemed the highest +of human qualities--was impaired; and a man who in his time had selected +presidents of banks and trust companies could certainly be trusted to +choose a parson--particularly if the chief requirements were not of a +spiritual nature. . . + +A week later he boarded an east-bound limited train, armed with plenary +powers. + +His destination was the hill town where he had spent the first fifteen +years of his life, amid the most striking of New England landscapes, and +the sight of the steep yet delicately pastoral slopes never failed to +thrill him as the train toiled up the wide valley to Bremerton. The +vision of these had remained with him during the years of his toil in the +growing Western city, and embodied from the first homesick days an ideal +to which he hoped sometime permanently to return. But he never had. His +family had shown a perversity of taste in preferring the sea, and he had +perforce been content with a visit of a month or so every other summer, +accompanied usually by his daughter, Helen. On such occasions, he stayed +with his sister, Mrs. Whitely. + +The Whitely mills were significant of the new Bremerton, now neither +village nor city, but partaking of the characteristics of both. French +Canadian might be heard on the main square as well as Yankee; and that +revolutionary vehicle, the automobile, had inspired there a great brick +edifice with a banner called the Bremerton House. Enterprising Italians +had monopolized the corners with fruit stores, and plate glass and +asphalt were in evidence. But the hills looked down unchanged, and in +the cool, maple-shaded streets, though dotted with modern residences, +were the same demure colonial houses he had known in boyhood. + +He was met at the station by his sister, a large, matronly woman who +invariably set the world whizzing backward for Langmaid; so completely +did she typify the contentment, the point of view of an age gone by. For +life presented no more complicated problems to the middle-aged Mrs. +Whitely than it had to Alice Langmaid. + +"I know what you've come for, Nelson," she said reproachfully, when she +greeted him at the station. "Dr. Gilman's dead, and you want our Mr. +Hodder. I feel it in my bones. Well, you can't get him. He's had ever +so many calls, but he won't leave Bremerton." + +She knew perfectly well, however, that Nelson would get him, although her +brother characteristically did not at once acknowledge his mission. +Alice Whitely had vivid memories of a childhood when he had never failed +to get what he wanted; a trait of his of which, although it had before +now caused her much discomfort, she was secretly inordinately proud. She +was, therefore, later in the day not greatly surprised to find herself +supplying her brother with arguments. Much as they admired and loved Mr. +Hodder, they had always realized that he could not remain buried in +Bremerton. His talents demanded a wider field. + +"Talents!" exclaimed Langmaid, "I didn't know he had any." + +"Oh, Nelson, how can you say such a thing, when you came to get him!" +exclaimed his sister." + +"I recommended him because I thought he had none," Langmaid declared. + +"He'll be a bishop some day--every one says so," said Mrs. Whitely, +indignantly. + +"That reassures me," said her brother. + +"I can't see why they sent you--you hardly ever go to church," she cried. +"I don't mind telling you, Nelson, that the confidence men place in you +is absurd." + +You've said that before," he replied. "I agree with you. I'm not going +on my judgment--but on yours and Gerald's, because I know that you +wouldn't put up with anything that wasn't strictly all-wool orthodox." + +"I think you're irreverent," said his sister, "and it's a shame that the +canons permit such persons to sit on the vestry . . . ." + +"Gerald," asked Nelson Langmaid of his brother-in-law that night, after +his sister and the girls had gone to bed, "are you sure that this young +man's orthodox?" + +"He's been here for over ten years, ever since he left the seminary, and +he's never done or said anything radical yet," replied the mill owner of +Bremerton. "If you don't want him, we'd be delighted to have him stay. +We're not forcing him on you, you know. What the deuce has got into you? +You've talked to him for two hours, and you've sat looking at him at the +dinner table for another two. I thought you were a judge of men." + +Nelson Langmaid sat silent. + +"I'm only urging Hodder to go for his own good," Mr. Whitely continued. +"I can take you to dozens of people to-morrow morning who worship him,-- +people of all sorts; the cashier in the bank, men in the mills, the hotel +clerk, my private stenographer--he's built up that little church from +nothing at all. And you may write the Bishop, if you wish." + +"How has he built up the church?" Langmaid demanded + +"How? How does any clergyman buildup a church + +"I don't know," Langmaid confessed. "It strikes me as quite a tour de +force in these days. Does he manage to arouse enthusiasm for orthodox +Christianity?" + +"Well," said Gerard Whitely, "I think the service appeals. We've made it +as beautiful as possible. And then Mr. Hodder goes to see these people +and sits up with them, and they tell him their troubles. He's reformed +one or two rather bad cases. I suppose it's the man's personality." + +Ah! Langmaid exclaimed, "now you're talking!" + +"I can't see what you're driving at," confessed his brother-in-law. +"You're too deep for me, Nelson." + +If the truth be told, Langmaid himself did not quits see. On behalf +of the vestry, he offered next day to Mr. Hodder the rectorship of St. +John's and that offer was taken under consideration; but there was in +the lawyer's mind no doubt of the acceptance, which, in the course of +a fortnight after he had returned to the West, followed. + +By no means a negligible element in Nelson Langmaid's professional +success had been his possession of what may called a sixth sense, and +more than once, on his missions of trust, he had listened to its +admonitory promptings. + +At times he thought he recognized these in his conversation with the +Reverend John Hodder at Bremerton,--especially in that last interview in +the pleasant little study of the rectory overlooking Bremerton Lake. But +the promptings were faint, and Langmaid out of his medium. He was not +choosing the head of a trust company. + +He himself felt the pull of the young clergyman's personality, and +instinctively strove to resist it: and was more than ever struck by Mr. +Hodder's resemblance to the cliff sculpture of which he had spoken at the +vestry meeting. + +He was rough-hewn indeed, with gray-green eyes, and hair the color of +golden sand: it would not stay brushed. It was this hair that hinted +most strongly of individualism, that was by no means orthodox. Langmaid +felt an incongruity, but he was fascinated; and he had discovered on the +rector's shelves evidences of the taste for classical authors that he +himself possessed. Thus fate played with him, and the two men ranged +from Euripides to Horace, from Horace to Dante and Gibbon. And when +Hodder got up to fetch this or that edition, he seemed to tower over the +lawyer, who was a big man himself. + +Then they discussed business, Langmaid describing the parish, the people, +the peculiar situation in St. John's caused by Dr. Gilman's death, while +Hodder listened. He was not talkative; be made no promises; his reserve +on occasions was even a little disconcerting; and it appealed to the +lawyer from Hodder as a man, but somehow not as a clergyman. Nor did +the rector volunteer any evidences of the soundness of his theological +or political principles. + +He gave Langmaid the impression--though without apparent egotism--that +by accepting the call he would be conferring a favour on St. John's; and +this was when he spoke with real feeling of the ties that bound him to +Bremerton. Langmaid felt a certain deprecation of the fact that he was +not a communicant. + +For the rest, if Mr. Hodder were disposed to take himself and his +profession seriously, he was by no means lacking in an appreciation of +Langmaid s humour . . . . + +The tempering of the lawyer's elation as he returned homeward to report +to Mr. Parr and the vestry may be best expressed by his own exclamation, +which he made to himself: + +"I wonder what that fellow would do if he ever got started!" A parson +was, after all, a parson, and he had done his best. + + + + +IV + +A high, oozing note of the brakes, and the heavy train came to a stop. +Hodder looked out of the window of the sleeper to read the sign 'Marcion' +against the yellow brick of the station set down in the prairie mud, and +flanked by a long row of dun-colored freight cars backed up to a factory. + +The factory was flimsy, somewhat resembling a vast greenhouse with its +multitudinous windows, and bore the name of a firm whose offices were in +the city to which he was bound. + +"We 'most in now, sah," the negro porter volunteered. "You kin see the +smoke yondah." + +Hodder's mood found a figure in this portentous sign whereby the city's +presence was betrayed to travellers from afar,--the huge pall seemed an +emblem of the weight of the city's sorrows; or again, a cloud of her own +making which shut her in from the sight of heaven. Absorbed in the mad +contest for life, for money and pleasure and power she felt no need to +lift her eyes beyond the level of her material endeavours. + +He, John Hodder, was to live under that cloud, to labour under it. The +mission on which he was bound, like the prophets of old, was somehow to +gain the ears of this self-absorbed population, to strike the fear of the +eternal into their souls, to convince them that there was Something above +and beyond that smoke which they ignored to their own peril. + +Yet the task, at this nearer view, took on proportions overwhelming--so +dense was that curtain at which he gazed. And to-day the very skies +above it were leaden, as though Nature herself had turned atheist. +In spite of the vigour with which he was endowed, in spite of the belief +in his own soul, doubts assailed him of his ability to cope with this +problem of the modern Nineveh--at the very moment when he was about to +realize his matured ambition of a great city parish. + +Leaning back on the cushioned seat, as the train started again, he +reviewed the years at Bremerton, his first and only parish. Hitherto +(to his surprise, since he had been prepared for trials) he had found the +religious life a primrose path. Clouds had indeed rested on Bremerton's +crests, but beneficent clouds, always scattered by the sun. And there, +amid the dazzling snows, he had on occasions walked with God. + +His success, modest though it were, had been too simple. He had loved +the people, and they him, and the pang of homesickness he now experienced +was the intensest sorrow he had known since he had been among them. Yes, +Bremerton had been for him (he realized now that he had left it) as near +an approach to Arcadia as this life permits, and the very mountains by +which it was encircled had seemed effectively to shut out those monster +problems which had set the modern world outside to seething. Gerald +Whitely's thousand operatives had never struck; the New York newspapers, +the magazines that discussed with vivid animus the corporation-political +problems in other states, had found Bremerton interested, but unmoved; +and Mrs. Whitely, who was a trustee of the library, wasted her energy in +deploring the recent volumes on economics, sociology, philosophy, and +religion that were placed on the shelves. If Bremerton read them--and a +portion of Bremerton did--no difference was apparent in the attendance at +Hodder's church. The Woman's Club discussed them strenuously, but made +no attempt to put their doctrines into practice. + +Hodder himself had but glanced at a few of them, and to do him justice +this abstention had not had its root in cowardice. His life was full-- +his religion "worked." And the conditions with which these books dealt +simply did not exist for him. The fact that there were other churches in +the town less successful than his own (one or two, indeed, virtually +starving) he had found it simple to account for in that their +denominations had abandoned the true conception of the Church, and were +logically degenerating into atrophy. What better proof of the barrenness +of these modern philosophical and religious books did he need than the +spectacle of other ministers--who tarried awhile on starvation salaries +--reading them and preaching from them? + +He, John Hodder, had held fast to the essential efficacy of the word of +God as propounded in past ages by the Fathers. It is only fair to add +that he did so without pride or bigotry, and with a sense of thankfulness +at the simplicity of the solution (ancient, in truth!) which, apparently +by special grace, had been vouchsafed him. And to it he attributed the +flourishing condition in which he had left the Church of the Ascension at +Bremerton. + +"We'll never get another rector like you," Alice Whitely had exclaimed, +with tears in her eyes, as she bade him good-by. And he had rebuked her. +Others had spoken in a similar strain, and it is a certain tribute to his +character to record that the underlying hint had been lost on Hodder. +His efficacy, he insisted, lay in the Word. + +Hodder looked at his watch, only to be reminded poignantly of the chief +cause of his heaviness of spirit, for it represented concretely the +affections of those whom he had left behind; brought before him vividly +the purple haze of the Bremerton valley, and the garden party, in the +ample Whitely grounds, which was their tribute to him. And he beheld, +moving from the sunlight to shadow, the figure of Rachel Ogden. She +might have been with him now, speeding by his side into the larger life! + +In his loneliness, he seemed to be gazing into reproachful eyes. Nothing +had passed between them. It, was he who had held back, a fact that in +the retrospect caused him some amazement. For, if wifehood were to be +regarded as a profession, Rachel Ogden had every qualification. And Mrs. +Whitely's skilful suggestions had on occasions almost brought him to +believe in the reality of the mirage,--never quite. + +Orthodox though he were, there had been times when his humour had borne +him upward toward higher truths, and he had once remarked that promising +to love forever was like promising to become President of the United +States. + +One might achieve it, but it was independent of the will. Hodder's +ideals--if he had only known--transcended the rubric. His feeling for +Rachel Ogden had not been lacking in tenderness, and yet he had recoiled +from marriage merely for the sake of getting a wife, albeit one with easy +qualification. He shrank instinctively from the humdrum, and sought the +heights, stormy though these might prove. As yet he had not analyzed +this craving. + +This he did know--for he had long ago torn from his demon the draperies +of disguise--that women were his great temptation. Ordination had not +destroyed it, and even during those peaceful years at Bremerton he had +been forced to maintain a watchful guard. He had a power over women, and +they over him, that threatened to lead him constantly into wayside paths, +and often he wondered what those who listened to him from the pulpit +would think if they guessed that at times, he struggled with suggestion +even now. Yet, with his hatred of compromises, he had scorned marriage. + +The yoke of Augustine! The caldron of unholy loves! Even now, as he sat +in the train, his mind took its own flight backward into that remoter +past that was still a part of him: to secret acts of his college days the +thought of which made him shudder; yes, and to riots and revels. In +youth, his had been one of those boiling, contagious spirits that carry +with them, irresistibly, tamer companions. He had been a leader in +intermittent raids into forbidden spheres; a leader also in certain more +decorous pursuits--if athletics may be so accounted; yet he had capable +of long periods of self-control, for a cause. Through it all a spark had +miraculously been kept alive. . . . + +Popularity followed him from the small New England college to the Harvard +Law School. He had been soberer there, marked as a pleader, and at last +the day arrived when he was summoned by a great New York lawyer to +discuss his future. Sunday intervened. Obeying a wayward impulse, he +had gone to one of the metropolitan churches to hear a preacher renowned +for his influence over men. There is, indeed, much that is stirring to +the imagination in the spectacle of a mass of human beings thronging into +a great church, pouring up the aisles, crowding the galleries, joining +with full voices in the hymns. What drew them? He himself was singing +words familiar since childhood, and suddenly they were fraught with a +startling meaning! + + "Fill me, radiancy divine, + Scatter all my unbelief!" + +Visions of the Crusades rose before him, of a friar arousing France, of a +Maid of Orleans; of masses of soiled, war-worn, sin-worn humanity groping +towards the light. Even after all these ages, the belief, the hope would +not down. + +Outside, a dismal February rain was falling, a rain to wet the soul. +The reek of damp clothes pervaded the gallery where he sat surrounded by +clerks and shop girls, and he pictured to himself the dreary rooms from +which they had emerged, drawn by the mysterious fire on that altar. Was +it a will-o'-the-wisp? Below him, in the pews, were the rich. Did they, +too, need warmth? + +Then came the sermon, "I will arise and go to my father." + +After the service, far into the afternoon, he had walked the wet streets +heedless of his direction, in an exaltation that he had felt before, but +never with such intensity. It seemed as though he had always wished to +preach, and marvelled that the perception had not come to him sooner. +If the man to whom he had listened could pour the light into the dark +corners of other men's souls, he, John Hodder, felt the same hot spark +within him,--despite the dark corners of his own! + +At dusk he came to himself, hungry, tired, and wet, in what proved to be +the outskirts of Harlem. He could see the place now: the lonely, wooden +houses, the ramshackle saloon, the ugly, yellow gleam from the street +lamps in a line along the glistening pavement; beside him, a towering +hill of granite with a real estate sign, "This lot for sale." And he had +stood staring at it, thinking of the rock that would have to be cut away +before a man could build there,--and so read his own parable. + +How much rock would have to be cut away, how much patient chipping before +the edifice of which he had been dreaming could be reared! Could he ever +do it? Once removed, he would be building on rock. But could he remove +it? . . . To help revive a faith, a dying faith, in a material age, +--that indeed were a mission for any man! He found his way to an +elevated train, and as it swept along stared unseeing at the people who +pushed and jostled him. Still under the spell, he reached his room and +wrote to the lawyer thanking him, but saying that he had reconsidered +coming to New York. It was not until he had posted the letter, and was +on his way back to Cambridge that he fully realized he had made the +decision of his life. + +Misgivings, many of them, had come in the months that followed, +misgivings and struggles, mocking queries. Would it last? There was +the incredulity and amazement of nearest friends, who tried to dissuade +him from so extraordinary a proceeding. Nobody, they said, ever became +a parson in these days; nobody, at least, with his ability. He was +throwing himself away. Ethics had taken the place of religion; +intelligent men didn't go to church. And within him went on an endless +debate. Public opinion made some allowance for frailties in other +professions; in the ministry, none: he would be committing himself to +be good the rest of his life, and that seemed too vast an undertaking +for any human. + +The chief horror that haunted him was not failure,--for oddly enough he +never seriously distrusted his power, it was disaster. Would God give +him the strength to fight his demon? If he were to gain the heights, +only to stumble in the sight of all men, to stumble and fall. + +Seeming echoes of the hideous mockery of it rang in his ears: where is +the God that this man proclaimed? he saw the newspaper headlines, +listened in imagination to cynical comments, beheld his name trailed +through the soiled places of the cities, the shuttlecock of men and +women. "To him that overcometh, to him will I give of the hidden manna, +and I will give him a white stone, and upon the stone a new name written, +which no one knoweth but he that receiveth it." Might he ever win that +new name, eat of the hidden manna of a hidden power, become the possessor +of the morning star? + +Unless there be in the background a mother, no portrait of a man is +complete. She explains him, is his complement. Through good mothers are +men conceived of God: and with God they sit, forever yearning, forever +reaching out, helpless except for him: with him, they have put a man into +the world. Thus, into the Supreme Canvas, came the Virgin. + +John Hodder's mother was a widow, and to her, in the white, gabled house +which had sheltered stern ancestors, he travelled in the June following +his experience. Standing under the fan-light of the elm-shaded doorway, +she seemed a vision of the peace wherein are mingled joy and sorrow, +faith and tears! A tall, quiet woman, who had learned the lesson of +mothers,--how to wait and how to pray, how to be silent with a clamouring +heart. + +She had lived to see him established at Bremerton, to be with him there +awhile . . . . + +He awoke from these memories to gaze down through the criss-cross of a +trestle to the twisted, turbid waters of the river far below. Beyond was +the city. The train skirted for a while the hideous, sootstained +warehouses that faced the water, plunged into a lane between humming +factories and clothes-draped tenements, and at last glided into semi- +darkness under the high, reverberating roof of the Union Station. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +THE PRIMROSE PATH + + +I + +Nelson Langmaid's extraordinary judgment appeared once more to be +vindicated. + +There had been, indeed, a critical, anxious moment, emphasized by the +agitation of bright feminine plumes and the shifting of masculine backs +into the corners of the pews. None got so far as to define to themselves +why there should be an apparent incompatibility between ruggedness and +orthodoxy--but there were some who hoped and more who feared. Luther had +been orthodox once, Savonarola also: in appearance neither was more +canonical than the new rector. + +His congregation, for the most part, were not analytical. But they felt +a certain anomaly in virility proclaiming tradition. It took them +several Sundays to get accustomed to it. + +To those who had been used for more than a quarter of a century to seeing +old Dr. Gilman's gentle face under the familiar and faded dove of the +sounding-board, to the deliberation of his walk, and the hesitation of +his manner, the first impression of the Reverend John Hodder was somewhat +startling. They felt that there should be a leisurely element in +religion. He moved across the chancel with incredible swiftness, his +white surplice flowing like the draperies of a moving Victory, wasted +no time with the pulpit lights, announced his text in a strong and +penetrating, but by no means unpleasing voice, and began to speak with +the certainty of authority. + +Here, in an age when a new rector had, ceased to be an all-absorbing +topic in social life, was a new and somewhat exhilarating experience. +And it may be privately confessed that there were some who sat in St. +John's during those first weeks of his incumbency who would indignantly +have repudiated the accusation that they were not good churchmen and +churchwomen, and who nevertheless had queer sensations in listening to +ancient doctrines set forth with Emersonian conviction. Some were +courageous enough to ask themselves, in the light of this forceful +presentation, whether they really did believe them as firmly as they +supposed they had. + +Dear old Dr. Gilman had been milder--much milder as the years gained upon +him. And latterly, when he had preached, his voice had sounded like the +unavailing protest of one left far behind, who called out faintly with +unheeded warnings. They had loved him: but the modern world was a busy +world, and Dr. Gilman did not understand it. This man was different. +Here was what the Church taught, he said, and they might slight it at +their peril! + +It is one thing to believe one's self orthodox, and quite another to have +that orthodoxy so definitely defined as to be compelled, whether or no, +to look it squarely in the face and own or disown it. Some indeed, like +Gordon Atterbury, stood the test; responded to the clarion call for which +they had been longing. But little Everett Constable, who also sat on the +vestry, was a trifle uncomfortable in being reminded that absence from +the Communion Table was perilous, although he would have been the last to +deny the efficacy of the Sacrament. + +The new rector was plainly not a man who might be accused of policy in +pandering to the tastes of a wealthy and conservative flock. But if, +in the series of sermons which lasted from his advent until well after +Christmas, he had deliberately consulted their prejudices, he could not +have done better. It is true that he went beyond the majority of them, +but into a region which they regarded as preeminently safe,--a region the +soil of which was traditional. To wit: St. Paul had left to the world +a consistent theology. Historical research was ignored rather than +condemned. And it might reasonably have been gathered from these +discourses that the main proofs of Christ's divinity lay in his Virgin +Birth, his miracles, and in the fact that his body had risen from the +grave, had been seen by many, and even touched. Hence unbelief had no +excuse. By divine commission there were bishops, priests, and deacons in +the new hierarchy, and it was through the Apostolic Succession that he, +their rector, derived his sacerdotal powers. There were, no doubt, +many obscure passages in the Scripture, but men's minds were finite; +a catholic acceptance was imperative, and the evils of the present day-- +a sufficiently sweeping statement--were wholly due to deplorable lapses +from such acceptance. The Apostolic teaching must be preserved, since it +transcended all modern wanderings after truth. Hell, though not +definitely defined in terms of flames, was no less a state of torture +(future, by implication) of which fire was but a faint symbol. And +he gave them clearly to understand that an unbaptized person ran no +inconsiderable risk. He did not declare unqualifiedly that the Church +alone had the power to save, but such was the inference. + + + +II + +It was entirely fitting, no doubt, when the felicitations of certain of +the older parishioners on his initial sermon were over, that Mr. Hodder +should be carried westward to lunch with the first layman of the diocese. +But Mr. Parr, as became a person of his responsibility, had been more +moderate in his comment. For he had seen, in his day, many men whose +promise had been unfulfilled. Tightly buttoned, silk hatted, upright, +he sat in the corner of his limousine, the tasselled speaking-tube in +his hand, from time to time cautioning his chauffeur. + +"Carefully!" he cried. "I've told you not to drive so fast in this part +of town. I've never got used to automobiles," he remarked to Hodder, +"and I formerly went to church in the street-cars, but the distances +have grown so great--and I have occasionally been annoyed in them." + +Hodder was not given to trite acquiescence. His homely composure belied +the alertness of his faculties; he was striving to adapt himself to the +sudden broadening and quickening of the stream of his life, and he felt a +certain excitement--although he did not betray it--in the presence of the +financier. Much as he resented the thought, it was impossible for him +not to realize that the man's pleasure and displeasure were important; +for, since his arrival, he had had delicate reminders of this from many +sources. Recurrently, it had caused him a vague uneasiness, hinted at a +problem new to him. He was jealous of the dignity of the Church, and he +seemed already to have detected in Mr. Parr's manner a subtle note of +patronage. Nor could Hodder's years of provincialism permit him to +forget that this man with whom he was about to enter into personal +relations was a capitalist of national importance. + +The neighbourhood they traversed was characteristic of our rapidly +expanding American cities. There were rows of dwelling houses, once +ultra-respectable, now slatternly, and lawns gone grey; some of these +houses had been remodelled into third-rate shops, or thrown together to +make manufacturing establishments: saloons occupied all the favourable +corners. Flaming posters on vacant lots announced, pictorially, dubious +attractions at the theatres. It was a wonderful Indian summer day, the +sunlight soft and melting; and the smoke which continually harassed this +district had lifted a little, as though in deference to the Sabbath. + +Hodder read the sign on a lamp post, Dalton Street. The name clung in +his memory. + +"We thought, some twenty years ago, of moving the church westward," said +Mr. Parr, "but finally agreed to remain where we were." + +The rector had a conviction on this point, and did not hesitate to state +it without waiting to be enlightened as to the banker's views. + +"It would seem to me a wise decision," he said, looking out of the +window, and wholly absorbed in the contemplation of the evidences of +misery and vice, "with this poverty at the very doors of the church." + +Something in his voice impelled Eldon Parr to shoot a glance at his +profile. + +"Poverty is inevitable, Mr. Hodder," he declared. "The weak always +sink." + +Hodder's reply, whatever it might have been, was prevented by the sudden +and unceremonious flight of both occupants toward the ceiling of the +limousine, caused by a deep pit in the asphalt. + +"What are you doing, Gratton?" Mr. Parr called sharply through the tube. + +Presently, the lawns began to grow brighter, the houses more cheerful, +and the shops were left behind. They crossed the third great transverse +artery of the city (not so long ago, Mr. Parr remarked, a quagmire), now +lined by hotels and stores with alluring displays in plate glass windows +and entered a wide boulevard that stretched westward straight to the +great Park. This boulevard the financier recalled as a country road of +clay. It was bordered by a vivid strip, of green; a row of tall and +graceful lamp posts, like sentinels, marked its course; while the +dwellings, set far back on either side, were for the most part large and +pretentious, betraying in their many tentative styles of architecture the +reaching out of a commercial nation after beauty. Some, indeed, were +simple of line and restful to the trained eye. + +They came to the wide entrance of the Park, so wisely preserved as a +breathing place for future generations. A slight haze had gathered over +the rolling forests to the westward; but this haze was not smoke. Here, +in this enchanting region, the autumn sunlight was undiluted gold, the +lawns, emerald, and the red gravel around the statesman's statue +glistening. The automobile quickly swung into a street that skirted the +Park,--if street it might be called, for it was more like a generous +private driveway,--flanked on the right by fences of ornamental ironwork +and high shrubbery that concealed the fore yards of dominating private +residences which might: without great exaggeration, have been called +palaces. + +"That's Ferguson's house," volunteered Mr. Parr, indicating a marble +edifice with countless windows. "He's one of your vestrymen, you know. +Ferguson's Department Store." The banker's eyes twinkled a little for +the first time. "You'll probably find it convenient. Most people do. +Clever business man, Ferguson." + +But the rector was finding difficulty in tabulating his impressions. + +They turned in between two posts of a gateway toward a huge house of +rough granite. And Hodder wondered whether, in the swift onward roll +of things, the time would come when this, too, would have been deemed +ephemeral. With its massive walls and heavy, red-tiled roof that sloped +steeply to many points, it seemed firmly planted for ages to come. It +was surrounded, yet not hemmed in, by trees of a considerable age. His +host explained that these had belonged to the original farm of which all +this Park Street property had made a part. + +They alighted under a porte-cochere with a glass roof. + +"I'm sorry," said Mr. Parr, as the doors swung open and he led the way +into the house, "I'm sorry I can't give you a more cheerful welcome, but +my son and daughter, for their own reasons, see fit to live elsewhere." + +Hodder's quick ear detected in the tone another cadence, and he glanced +at Eldon Parr with a new interest . . . . + +Presently they stood, face to face, across a table reduced to its +smallest proportions, in the tempered light of a vast dining-room, +an apartment that seemed to symbolize the fortress-like properties of +wealth. The odd thought struck the clergyman that this man had made his +own Tower of London, had built with his own hands the prison in which he +was to end his days. The carved oaken ceiling, lofty though it was, had +the effect of pressing downward, the heavy furniture matched the heavy +walls, and even the silent, quick-moving servants had a watchful air. + +Mr. Parr bowed his head while Hodder asked grace. They sat down. + +The constraint which had characterized their conversation continued, +yet there was a subtle change in the attitude of the clergyman. The +financier felt this, though it could not be said that Hodder appeared +more at his ease: his previous silences had been by no means awkward. +Eldon Parr liked self-contained men. But his perceptions were as keen as +Nelson Langmaid's, and like Langmaid, he had gradually become conscious +of a certain baffling personality in the new rector of St. John's. From +time to time he was aware of the grey-green eyes curiously fixed on him, +and at a loss to account for their expression. He had no thought of +reading in it an element of pity. Yet pity was nevertheless in the +rector's heart, and its advent was emancipating him from the limitations +of provincial inexperience. + +Suddenly, the financier launched forth on a series of shrewd and +searching questions about Bremerton, its church, its people, its +industries, and social conditions. All of which Hodder answered to his +apparent satisfaction. + +Coffee was brought. Hodder pushed back his chair, crossed his knees, +and sat perfectly still regarding his host, his body suggesting a repose +that did not interfere with his perceptive faculties. + +"You don't smoke, Mr. Hodder?" + +The rector smiled and shook his head. Mr. Parr selected a diminutive, +yellow cigar and held it up. + +"This," he said, "has been the extent of my indulgence for twenty years. +They are made for me in Cuba." + +Hodder smiled again, but said nothing. + +"I have had a letter from your former bishop, speaking of you in the +highest terms," he observed. + +"The bishop is very kind." + +Mr. Parr cleared his throat. + +"I am considerably older than you," he went on, "and I have the future of +St. John's very much at heart, Mr. Hodder. I trust you will remember +this and make allowances for it as I talk to you. + +"I need not remind you that you have a grave responsibility on your +shoulders for so young a man, and that St. John's is the oldest parish +in the diocese." + +"I think I realize it, Mr. Parr," said Hodder, gravely. "It was only the +opportunity of a larger work here that induced me to leave Bremerton." + +"Exactly," agreed the banker. "The parish, I believe, is in good running +order--I do not think you will see the necessity for many--ahem--changes. +But we sadly needed an executive head. And, if I may say so, Mr. Hodder, +you strike me as a man of that type, who might have made a success in a +business career." + +The rector smiled again. + +"I am sure you could pay me no higher compliment," he answered. + +For an instant Eldon Parr, as he stared at the clergyman, tightened his +lips,--lips that seemed peculiarly formed for compression. Then they +relaxed into what resembled a smile. If it were one, the other returned +it. + +"Seriously," Mr. Parr declared, "it does me good in these days to hear, +from a young man, such sound doctrine as you preach. I am not one of +those who believe in making concessions to agnostics and atheists. You +were entirely right, in my opinion, when you said that we who belong to +the Church--and of course you meant all orthodox Christians--should stand +by our faith as delivered by the saints. Of course," he added, smiling, +"I should not insist upon the sublapsarian view of election which I was +taught in the Presbyterian Church as a boy." + +Hodder laughed, but did not interrupt. + +"On the other hand," Mr. Parr continued, "I have little patience with +clergymen who would make religion attractive. What does it amount to-- +luring people into the churches on one pretext or another, sugar-coating +the pill? Salvation is a more serious matter. Let the churches stick +to their own. We have at St. John's a God-fearing, conservative +congregation, which does not believe in taking liberties with sound and +established doctrine. And I may confess to you, Mr. Hodder, that we were +naturally not a little anxious about Dr. Gilman's successor, that we +should not get, in spite of every precaution, a man tinged with the new +and dangerous ideas so prevalent, I regret to say, among the clergy. +I need scarcely add that our anxieties have been set at rest." + +"That," said Hodder, "must be taken as a compliment to the dean of the +theological seminary from which I graduated." + +The financier stared again. But he decided that Mr. Hodder had not meant +to imply that he, Mr. Parr, was attempting to supersede the dean. The +answer had been modest. + +"I take it for granted that you and I and all sensible men are happily. +agreed that the Church should remain where she is. Let the people come +to her. She should be, if I may so express it, the sheet anchor of +society, our bulwark against socialism, in spite of socialists who call +themselves ministers of God. The Church has lost ground--why? Because +she has given ground. The sanctity of private property is being menaced, +demagogues are crying out from the house-tops and inciting people against +the men who have made this country what it is, who have risked their +fortunes and their careers for the present prosperity. We have no longer +any right, it seems, to employ whom we will in our factories and our +railroads; we are not allowed to regulate our rates, although the risks +were all ours. Even the women are meddling,--they are not satisfied to +stay in the homes, where they belong. You agree with me?" + +"As to the women," said the rector, "I have to acknowledge that I have +never had any experience with the militant type of which you speak." + +"I pray God you may never have," exclaimed Mr. Parr, with more feeling +than he had yet shown. + +"Woman's suffrage, and what is called feminism in general, have never +penetrated to Bremerton. Indeed, I must confess to have been wholly out +of touch with the problems to which you refer, although of course I have +been aware of their existence." + +"You will meet them here," said the banker, significantly. + +"Yes," the rector replied thoughtfully, "I can see that. I know that +the problems here will be more complicated, more modern,--more difficult. +And I thoroughly agree with you that their ultimate solution is dependent +on Christianity. If I did not believe,--in spite of the evident fact +which you point out of the Church's lost ground, that her future will +be greater than her past, I should not be a clergyman." + +The quiet but firm note of faith was, not lost on the financier, and yet +was not he quite sure what was to be made of it? He had a faint and +fleeting sense of disquiet, which registered and was gone. + +"I hope so," he said vaguely, referring perhaps to the resuscitation of +which the rector spoke. He drummed on the table. "I'll go so far as to +say that I, too, think that the structure can be repaired. And I believe +it is the duty of the men of influence--all men of influence--to assist. +I don't say that men of influence are not factors in the Church to-day, +but I do say that they are not using the intelligence in this task which +they bring to bear, for instance, on their business." + +"Perhaps the clergy might help," Hodder suggested, and added more +seriously, "I think that many of them are honestly trying to do so." + +"No doubt of it. Why is it," Mr. Parr continued reflectively, "that +ministers as a whole are by no means the men they were? You will pardon +my frankness. When I was a boy, the minister was looked up to as an +intellectual and moral force to be reckoned with. I have heard it +assigned, as one reason, that in the last thirty years other careers have +opened up, careers that have proved much more attractive to young men of +ability." + +"Business careers?" inquired the rector. + +"Precisely!" + +"In other words," said Hodder, with his curious smile, "the ministry +gets the men who can't succeed at anything else." + +"Well, that's putting it rather strong," answered Mr. Parr, actually +reddening a little. "But come now, most young men would rather be a +railroad president than a bishop,--wouldn't they?" + +"Most young men would," agreed Hodder, quickly, "but they are not the +young men who ought to be bishops, you'll admit that." + +The financier, be it recorded to his credit, did not lack appreciation +of this thrust, and, for the first time, he laughed with something +resembling heartiness. This laughter, in which Hodder joined, seemed +suddenly to put them on a new footing--a little surprising to both. + +"Come," said the financier, rising, "I'm sure you like pictures, and +Langmaid tells me you have a fancy for first editions. Would you care +to go to the gallery?" + +"By all means," the rector assented. + +Their footsteps, as they crossed the hardwood floors, echoed in the empty +house. After pausing to contemplate a Millet on the stair landing, they +came at last to the huge, silent gallery, where the soft but adequate +light fell upon many masterpieces, ancient and modern. And it was here, +while gazing at the Corots and Bonheurs, Lawrences, Romneys, Copleys, and +Halses, that Hodder's sense of their owner's isolation grew almost +overpowering Once, glancing over his shoulder at Mr. Parr, he surprised +in his eyes an expression almost of pain. + +"These pictures must give you great pleasure," he said. + +"Oh," replied the banker, in a queer voice, "I'm always glad when any one +appreciates them. I never come in here alone." + +Hodder did not reply. They passed along to an upstairs sitting-room, +which must, Hodder thought, be directly over the dining-room. Between +its windows was a case containing priceless curios. + +"My wife liked this room," Mr. Parr explained, as he opened the case. +When they had inspected it, the rector stood for a moment gazing out at +a formal garden at the back of the house. The stalks of late flowers lay +withering, but here and there the leaves were still vivid, and clusters +of crimson berries gleamed in the autumn sunshine. A pergola ran down +the middle, and through denuded grape-vines he caught a glimpse, at the +far end, of sculptured figures and curving marble benches surrounding a +pool. + +"What a wonderful spot!" he exclaimed. + +"My daughter Alison designed it." + +"She must have great talent," said the rector. + +"She's gone to New York and become a landscape architect," said his host +with a perceptible dryness. "Women in these days are apt to be +everything except what the Lord intended them to be." + +They went downstairs, and Hodder took his leave, although he felt an odd +reluctance to go. Mr. Parr rang the bell. + +"I'll send you down in the motor," he said. + +"I'd like the exercise of walking," said the rector. "I begin to miss it +already, in the city." + +"You look as if you had taken a great deal of it," Mr. Parr declared, +following him to the door. "I hope you'll drop in often. Even if I'm +not here, the gallery and the library are at your disposal." + +Their eyes met. + +"You're very good," Hodder replied, and went down the steps and through +the open doorway. + +Lost in reflection, he walked eastward with long and rapid strides, +striving to reduce to order in his mind the impressions the visit had +given him, only to find them too complex, too complicated by unlooked-for +emotions. Before its occurrence, he had, in spite of an inherent common +sense, felt a little uneasiness over the prospective meeting with the +financier. And Nelson Langmaid had hinted, good-naturedly, that it was +his, Hodder's, business, to get on good terms with Mr. Parr--otherwise +the rectorship of St. John's might not prove abed of roses. Although the +lawyer had spoken with delicacy, he had once more misjudged his man--the +result being to put Hodder on his guard. He had been the more determined +not to cater to the banker. + +The outcome of it all had been that the rector left him with a sense of +having crossed barriers forbidden to other men, and not understanding how +he had crossed them. Whether this incipient intimacy were ominous or +propitious, whether there were involved in it a germ (engendered by a +radical difference of temperament) capable of developing into future +conflict, he could not now decide. If Eldon Parr were Procrustes he, +Hodder, had fitted the bed, and to say the least, this was extraordinary, +if not a little disquieting. Now and again his thoughts reverted to the +garden, and to the woman who had made it. Why had she deserted? + +At length, after he had been walking for nearly an hour, he halted and +looked about him. He was within a few blocks of the church, a little to +one side of Tower Street, the main east and west highway of the city, +in the midst of that district in which Mr. Parr had made the remark that +poverty was inevitable. Slovenly and depressing at noonday, it seemed +now frankly to have flung off its mask. Dusk was gathering, and with it +a smoke-stained fog that lent a sickly tinge to the lights. Women slunk +by him: the saloons, apparently closed, and many houses with veiled +windows betrayed secret and sinister gleams. In the midst of a block +rose a tall, pretentious though cheaply constructed building with the +words "Hotel Albert" in flaming electric letters above an archway. Once +more his eye read Dalton Street on a lamp . . . . + +Hodder resumed his walk more slowly, and in a few minutes reached his +rooms in the parish house. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +SOME RIDDLES OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY + + +I +Although he found the complications of a modern city parish somewhat +bewildering, the new rector entered into his duties that winter with +apostolic zeal. He was aware of limitations and anomalies, but his faith +was boundless, his energy the subject of good-natured comment by his +vestry and parishioners, whose pressing invitations' to dinners he was +often compelled to refuse. There was in John Hodder something +indefinable that inflamed curiosity and left it unsatisfied. + +His excuse for attending these dinners, which indeed were relaxing and +enjoyable, he found in the obvious duty of getting to know the most +important members of his congregation. But invariably he came away from +them with an inner sense of having been baffled in this object. With a +few exceptions, these modern people seemed to have no time for friendship +in the real meaning of the word, no desire to carry a relationship beyond +a certain point. Although he was their spiritual pastor, he knew less +about most of them at the end of the winter than their butlers and their +maids. + +They were kind, they were delightful, they were interested in him--he +occasionally thought--as a somewhat anachronistic phenomenon. They +petted, respected him, and deferred to him. He represented to them an +element in life they recognized, and which had its proper niche. What +they failed to acknowledge was his point of view--and this he was wise +enough not to press at dinner tables and in drawing-rooms--that religion +should have the penetrability of ether; that it should be the absorbent +of life. He did not have to commit the banality of reminding them of +this conviction of his at their own tables; he had sufficient humour and +penetration to credit them with knowing it. Nay, he went farther in his +unsuspected analysis, and perceived that these beliefs made one of his +chief attractions for them. It was pleasant to have authority in a black +coat at one's board; to defer, if not to bend to it. The traditions of +fashion demanded a clergyman in the milieu, and the more tenaciously he +clung to his prerogatives, the better they liked it. + +Although they were conscious of a certain pressure, which they gently +resisted, they did not divine that the radiating and rugged young man +cherished serious designs upon them. He did not expect to transform the +world in a day, especially the modern world. He was biding his time, +awaiting individual opportunities. + +They talked to him of the parish work, congratulated him on the vigour +with which he had attacked it, and often declared themselves jealous of +it because it claimed too much of him. Dear Dr. Gilman, they said, had +had neither the strength nor the perception of 'modern needs; and McCrae, +the first assistant clergyman, while a good man, was a plodder and +lacking in imagination. They talked sympathetically about the problems +of the poor. And some of them--particularly Mrs. Wallis Plimpton were +inclined to think Hodder's replies a trifle noncommittal. The trouble, +although he did not tell them so, was that he himself had by no means +solved the problem. And he felt a certain reluctance to discuss the +riddle of poverty over champagne and porcelain. + +Mrs. Plimpton and Mrs. Constable, Mrs. Ferguson, Mrs. Langmaid, Mrs. +Larrabbee, Mrs. Atterbury, Mrs. Grey, and many other ladies and their +daughters were honorary members of his guilds and societies, and found +time in their busy lives to decorate the church, adorn the altar, care +for the vestments, and visit the parish house. Some of them did more: +Mrs. Larrabbee, for instance, when she was in town, often graced the +girls' classes with her presence, which was a little disquieting to +the daughters of immigrants: a little disquieting, too, to John Hodder. +During the three years that had elapsed since Mr. Larrabbee's death, she +had, with characteristic grace and ease, taken up philanthropy; become, +in particular, the feminine patron saint of Galt House, non-sectarian, +a rescue home for the erring of her sex. + +There were, too, in this higher realm of wealth in and out of which +Hodder plunged, women like Mrs. Constable (much older than Mrs. +Larrabbee) with whom philanthropy and what is known as "church work" +had become second nature in a well-ordered life, and who attended with +praiseworthy regularity the meetings of charitable boards and committees, +not infrequently taking an interest in individuals in Mr. Hodder's +classes. With her, on occasions, he did discuss such matters, +only to come away from her with his bewilderment deepened. + +It was only natural that he should have his moods of depression. But +the recurrent flow of his energy swept them away. Cynicism had no place +in his militant Christianity, and yet there were times when he wondered +whether these good people really wished achievements from their rector. +They had the air of saying "Bravo!" and then of turning away. And he did +not conceal from himself that he was really doing nothing but labour. +The distances were great; and between his dinner parties, classes, +services, and visits, he was forced to sit far into the night preparing +his sermons, when his brain was not so keen as it might have been. +Indeed--and this thought was cynical and out of character--he asked +himself on one occasion whether his principal achievement so far had not +consisted in getting on unusual terms with Eldon Parr. They were not +lacking who thought so, and who did not hesitate to imply it. They +evidently regarded his growing intimacy with the banker with approval, +as in some sort a supreme qualification for a rector of St. John's, and +a proof of unusual abilities. There could be no question, for instance, +that he had advanced perceptibly in the estimation of the wife of another +of his vestrymen, Mrs. Wallis Plimpton. + +The daughter of Thurston Gore, with all her astuteness and real estate, +was of a naivete in regard to spiritual matters that Hodder had grown to +recognize as impermeable. In an evening gown, with a string of large +pearls testing on her firm and glowing neck, she appeared a concrete +refutation of the notion of rebirth, the triumph of an unconscious +philosophy of material common-sense. However, in parish house affairs, +Hodder had found her practical brain of no slight assistance. + +"I think it quite wonderful," she remarked, on the occasion at which he +was the guest of honour in what was still called the new Gore mansion, +"that you have come to know Mr. Parr so well in such a short time. How +did you do it, Mr. Hodder? Of course Wallis knows him, and sees a great +deal of him in business matters. He relies on Wallis. But they tell me +you have grown more intimate with him than any one has been since Alison +left him." + +There is, in Proverbs or Ecclesiastes, a formula for answering people +in accordance with their point of view. The rector modestly disclaimed +intimacy. And he curbed his curiosity about Alison for the reason that +he preferred to hear her story from another source. + +"Oh, but you are intimate!" Mrs. Plimpton protested. "Everybody says +so--that Mr. Parr sends for you all the time. What is he like when he's +alone, and relaxed? Is he ever relaxed?" The lady had a habit of +not waiting for answers to her questions. "Do you know, it stirs my +imagination tremendously when I think of all the power that man has. +I suppose you know he has become one of a very small group of men who +control this country, and naturally he has been cruelly maligned. All he +has to do is to say a word to his secretary, and he can make men or ruin +them. It isn't that he does ruin them--I don't mean that. He uses his +wealth, Wallis says, to maintain the prosperity of the nation! He feels +his trusteeship. And he is so generous! He has given a great deal to +the church, and now," she added, "I am sure he will give more." + +Hodder was appalled. He felt helpless before the weight of this +onslaught. + +"I dare say he will continue to assist, as he has in the past," he +managed to say. + +"Of course it's your disinterestedness," she proclaimed, examining him +frankly. "He feels that you don't want anything. You always strike me +as so splendidly impartial, Mr. Hodder." + +Fortunately, he was spared an answer. Mr. Plimpton, who was wont to +apply his gifts as a toastmaster to his own festivals, hailed him from +the other end of the table. + +And Nelson Langmaid, who had fallen into the habit of dropping into +Hodder's rooms in the parish house on his way uptown for a chat about +books, had been struck by the rector's friendship with the banker. + +"I don't understand how you managed it, Hodder, in such a short time," +he declared. "Mr. Parr's a difficult man. In all these years, I've been +closer to him than any one else, and I don't know him today half as well +as you do." + +"I didn't manage it," said Hodder, briefly. + +"Well," replied the lawyer, quizzically, "you needn't eat me up. +I'm sure you didn't do it on purpose. If you had,--to use a Hibernian +phrase,--you never would have done it. I've seen it tried before. To +tell you the truth, after I'd come back from Bremerton, that was the one +thing I was afraid of--that you mightn't get along with him." + +Hodder himself was at a loss to account for the relationship. It +troubled him vaguely, for Mr. Parr was the aggressor; and often at dusk, +when Hodder was working under his study lamp, the telephone would ring, +and on taking down the receiver he would hear the banker's voice. "I'm +alone to-night, Mr. Hodder. Will you come and have dinner with me?" + +Had he known it, this was a different method of communication than that +which the financier usually employed, one which should have flattered +him. If Wallis Plimpton, for instance, had received such a personal +message, the fact would not have remained unknown the next day at his +club. Sometimes it was impossible for Hodder to go, and he said so; but +he always went when he could. + +The unwonted note of appeal (which the telephone seemed somehow to +enhance) in Mr. Parr's voice, never failed to find a response in the +rector's heart, and he would ponder over it as he walked across to Tower +Street to take the electric car for the six-mile trip westward. + +This note of appeal he inevitably contrasted with the dry, matter-of-fact +reserve of his greeting at the great house, which loomed all the greater +in the darkness. Unsatisfactory, from many points of view, as these +evenings were, they served to keep whetted Hodder's curiosity as to the +life of this extraordinary man. All of its vaster significance for the +world, its tremendous machinery, was out of his sight. + +Mr. Parr seemed indeed to regard the rest of his fellow-creatures with +the suspicion at which Langmaid had hinted, to look askance at the +amenities people tentatively held out to him. And the private watchman +whom Hodder sometimes met in the darkness, and who invariably scrutinized +pedestrians on Park Street, seemed symbolic, of this attitude. On rare +occasions, when in town, the financier dined out, limiting himself to a +few houses. + +Once in a long while he attended what are known as banquets, such as +those given by the Chamber of Commerce, though he generally refused to +speak. Hodder, through Mr. Parr's intervention, had gone to one of +these, ably and breezily presided over by the versatile Mr. Plimpton. + +Hodder felt not only curiosity and sympathy, but a vexing sense of the +fruitlessness of his visits to Park Street. Mr. Parr seemed to like to +have him there. And the very fact that the conversation rarely took +any vital turn oddly contributed to the increasing permanence of +the lien. To venture on any topic relating to the affairs of the day +were merely to summon forth the banker's dogmatism, and Hodder's own +opinions on such matters were now in a strange and unsettled state. Mr. +Parr liked best to talk of his treasures, and of the circumstances during +his trips abroad that had led to their acquirement. Once the banker had +asked him about parish house matters. + +"I'm told you're working very hard--stirring up McCrae. He needs it." + +"I'm only trying to study the situation," Hodder replied. "I don't think +you quite do justice to McCrae," he added; "he's very faithful, and seems +to understand those people thoroughly." + +Mr. Parr smiled. + +"And what conclusions have you come to? If you think the system should +be enlarged and reorganized I am willing at any time to go over it with +you, with a view to making an additional contribution. Personally, while +I have sympathy for the unfortunate, I'm not at all sure that much of the +energy and money put into the institutional work of churches isn't +wasted." + +"I haven't come to any conclusions--yet," said the rector, with a touch +of sadness. "Perhaps I demand too much--expect too much." + +The financier, deep in his leather chair under the shaded light, the tips +of his fingers pressed together, regarded the younger man thoughtfully, +but the smile lingered in his eyes. + +"I told you you would meet problems," he said. + + + +II + +Hodder's cosmos might have been compared, indeed, to that set forth in +the Ptolemaic theory of the ancients. Like a cleverly carved Chinese +object of ivory in the banker s collection, it was a system of spheres, +touching, concentric, yet separate. In an outer space swung Mr. Parr; +then came the scarcely less rarefied atmosphere of the Constables and +Atterburys, Fergusons, Plimptons, Langmaids, Prestons, Larrabbees, Greys, +and Gores, and then a smaller sphere which claims but a passing mention. +There were, in the congregation of St. John's, a few people of moderate +means whose houses or apartments the rector visited; people to whom +modern life was increasingly perplexing. + +In these ranks were certain maiden ladies and widows who found in church +work an outlet to an otherwise circumscribed existence. Hodder met them +continually in his daily rounds. There were people like the Bradleys, +who rented half a pew and never missed a Sunday; Mr. Bradley, an elderly +man whose children had scattered, was an upper clerk in one of Mr. Parr's +trust companies: there were bachelors and young women, married or single, +who taught in the Sunday school or helped with the night classes. For +the most part, all of these mentioned above belonged to an element that +once had had a comfortable and well-recognized place in the community, +yet had somehow been displaced. Many of them were connected by blood +with more fortunate parishioners, but economic pressure had scattered +them throughout new neighbourhoods and suburbs. Tradition still bound +them to St. John's. + +With no fixed orbit, the rector cut at random through all of these +strata, and into a fourth. Not very far into it, for this apparently +went down to limitless depths, the very contemplation of which made him +dizzy. The parish house seemed to float precariously on its surface. + +Owing partly to the old-fashioned ideas of Dr. Gilman, and partly to +the conservatism of its vestry, the institutionalism of St. John's was +by no means up to date. No settlement house, with day nurseries, was +maintained in the slums. The parish house, built in the, early nineties, +had its gymnasium hall and class and reading rooms, but was not what in +these rapidly moving times would be called modern. Presiding over its +activities, and seconded by a pale, but earnest young man recently +ordained, was Hodder's first assistant, the Reverend Mr. McCrae. + +McCrae was another puzzle. He was fifty and gaunt, with a wide flat +forehead and thinning, grey hair, and wore steel spectacles. He had a +numerous family. His speech, of which he was sparing, bore strong traces +of a Caledonian accent. And this, with the addition of the fact that he +was painstaking and methodical in his duties, and that his sermons were +orthodox in the sense that they were extremely non-committal, was all +that Hodder knew about him for many months. He never doubted, however, +the man's sincerity and loyalty. + +But McCrae had a peculiar effect on him, and as time went on, his +conviction deepened that his assistant was watching him. The fact that +this tacit criticism did not seem unkindly did not greatly alleviate +the impatience that he felt from time to time. He had formed a higher +estimate of McCrae's abilities than that generally prevailing throughout +the parish; and in spite of, perhaps because of his attitude, was drawn +toward the man. This attitude, as Hodder analyzed it from the +expressions he occasionally surprised on his assistant's face, was one +of tolerance and experience, contemplating, with a faint amusement and +a certain regret, the wasteful expenditure of youthful vitality. Yet +it involved more. McCrae looked as if he knew--knew many things that +he deemed it necessary for the new rector to find out by experience. + +But he was a difficult man to talk to. + +If the truth be told, the more Hodder became absorbed in these activities +of the parish house, the greater grew his perplexity, the more acute his +feeling of incompleteness; or rather, his sense that the principle was +somehow fundamentally at fault. Out of the waters of the proletariat +they fished, assiduously and benignly, but at random, strange specimens! +brought them, as it were, blinking to the light, and held them by sheer +struggling. And sometimes, when they slipped away, dived after them. +The young curate, Mr. Tompkinson, for the most part did the diving; or, +in scriptural language, the searching after the lost sheep. + +The results accomplished seemed indeed, as Mr. Parr had remarked, +strangely disproportionate to the efforts, for they laboured abundantly. +The Italian mothers appeared stolidly appreciative of the altruism of +Miss Ramsay, who taught the kindergarten, in taking their charges off +their hands for three hours of a morning, and the same might be said of +the Jews and Germans and Russians. The newsboys enjoyed the gymnasium +and reading-rooms: some of them were drafted into the choir, yet the +singing of Te Deums failed somehow to accomplish the miracle of +regeneration. The boys, as a rule, were happier, no doubt; the new +environments not wholly without results. But the rector was an idealist. + +He strove hard to become their friend, and that of the men; to win their +confidence, and with a considerable measure of success. On more than one +occasion he threw aside his clerical coat and put on boxing-gloves, and +he gave a series of lectures, with lantern slides, collected during the +six months he had once spent in Europe. The Irish-Americans and the +Germans were the readiest to respond, and these were for the most part +young workingmen and youths by no means destitute. When they were out +of a place, he would often run across them in the reading-room or sitting +among the lockers beside the gymnasium, and they would rise and talk to +him cordially and even familiarly about their affairs. They liked and +trusted him--on a tacit condition. There was a boundary he might not +cross. And the existence of that boundary did not seem to trouble +McCrae. + +One night as he stood with his assistant in the hall after the men had +gone, Hodder could contain himself no longer. + +"Look here, McCrae," he broke out, "these men never come to church--or +only a very few of them." + +"No more they do," McCrae agreed. + +"Why don't they?" + +"Ye've asked them, perhaps." + +"I've spoken to one or two of them," admitted the rector. + +"And what do they tell you?" + +Hodder smiled. + +"They don't tell me anything. They dodge." + +"Precisely," said McCrae. + +"We're not making Christians of them," said Hodder, beginning to walk up +and down. "Why is it?" + +"It's a big question." + +"It is a big question. It's the question of all questions, it seems to +me. The function of the Church, in my opinion, is to make Christians." + +"Try to teach them religion," said McCrae--he almost pronounced it +releegion--"and see what happens. Ye'll have no classes at all. They +only come, the best of them, because ye let them alone that way, and they +get a little decency and society help. It's somewhat to keep them out of +the dance-halls and saloons maybe." + +"It's not enough," the rector asserted. "You've had a great deal of +experience with them. And I want to know why, in your view, more of them +don't come into the Church." + +"Would ye put Jimmy Flanagan and Otto Bauer and Tony Baldassaro in Mr. +Parr's pew?" McCrae inquired, with a slight flavour of irony that was +not ill-natured. "Or perhaps Mrs. Larrabbee would make room for them?" + +"I've considered that, of course," replied Hodder, thoughtfully, though +he was a little surprised that McCrae should have mentioned it. "You +think their reasons are social, then,--that they feel the gap. I feel it +myself most strongly. And yet none of these men are Socialists. If they +were, they wouldn't come here to the parish house." + +"They're not Socialists," agreed McCrae. + +"But there is room in the back and sides of the church, and there is the +early service and the Sunday night service, when the pews are free. Why +don't they come to these?" + +"Religion doesn't appeal to them." + +"Why not?" + +"Ye've asked me a riddle. All I know is that the minute ye begin to +preach, off they go and never come back." + +Hodder, with unconscious fixity, looked into his assistant's honest face. +He had an exasperating notion that McCrae might have said more, if he +would. + +"Haven't you a theory?" + +"Try yourself," said McCrae. His manner was abrupt, yet oddly enough, +not ungracious. + +"Don't think I'm criticizing," said the rector, quickly. + +"I know well ye're not." + +"I've been trying to learn. It seems to me that we are only +accomplishing half our task, and I know that St. John's is not unique +in this respect. I've been talking to Andrews, of Trinity, about their +poor." + +"Does he give you a remedy?" + +"No," Hodder said. "He can't see any more than I can why Christianity +doesn't appeal any longer. The fathers and mothers of these people went +to church, in the old country and in this. Of course he sees, as you and +I do, that society has settled into layers, and that the layers won't +mix. And he seems to agree with me that there is a good deal of energy +exerted for a comparatively small return." + +"I understand that's what Mr. Parr says." + +These references to Mr. Parr disturbed Hodder. He had sometimes +wondered, when he had been compelled to speak about his visits to the +financier, how McCrae regarded them. He was sure that McCrae did regard +them. + +"Mr. Parr is willing to be even more generous than he has been," Hodder +said. "The point is, whether it's wise to enlarge our scope on the +present plan. What do you think?" + +"Ye can reach more," McCrae spoke without enthusiasm. + +"What's the use of reaching them, only to touch them? In addition to +being helped materially and socially, and kept away from the dance-halls +and saloons, they ought to be fired by the Gospels, to be remade. They +should be going out into the highways and byways to bring others into the +church." + +The Scotchman's face changed a little. For an instant his eyes lighted +up, whether in sympathy or commiseration or both, Hodder could not tell. + +"I'm with ye, Mr. Hodder, if ye'll show me the way. But oughtn't we to +begin at both ends?" + +"At both ends?" Hodder repeated. + +"Surely. With the people in the pews? Oughtn't we to be firing them, +too?" + +"Yes," said the rector. "You're right." + +He turned away, to feel McCrae's hand on his sleeve. + +"Maybe it will come, Mr. Hodder," he said. "There's no telling when the +light will strike in." + +It was the nearest to optimism he had ever known his assistant to +approach. + +"McCrae," he asked, "have you ever tried to do anything with Dalton +Street?" + +"Dalton Street?" + +The real McCrae, whom he had seemed to see emerging, retired abruptly, +presenting his former baffling and noncommittal exterior. + +"Yes," Hodder forced himself to go on, and it came to him that he had +repeated virtually the same words to Mr. Parr, "it is at our very doors, +a continual reproach. There is real poverty in those rooming houses, and +I have never seen vice so defiant and shameless." + +"It's a shifty place, that," McCrae replied. "They're in it one day +and gone the next, a sort of catch-basin for all the rubbish of the city. +I can recall when decent people lived there, and now it's all light +housekeeping and dives and what not." + +"But that doesn't relieve us of responsibility," Hodder observed. + +"I'm not denying it. I think ye'll find there's very little to get hold +of." + +Once more, he had the air of stopping short, of being able to say more. +Hodder refrained from pressing him. + +Dalton Street continued to haunt him. And often at nightfall, as he +hurried back to his bright rooms in the parish house from some of the +many errands that absorbed his time, he had a feeling of self-accusation +as he avoided women wearily treading the pavements, or girls and children +plodding homeward through the wet, wintry streets. Some glanced at him +with heavy eyes, others passed sullenly, with bent heads. At such +moments his sense of helplessness was overpowering. He could not follow +them to the dreary dwellings where they lodged. + +Eldon Parr had said that poverty was inevitable. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Even after all these ages, the belief, the hope would not down +For ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter +Had a habit of not waiting for answers to her questions +How to be silent with a clamouring heart +Intellectually lazy +Know a great deal and don't believe anything +Not given to trite acquiescence +Sunday was then a day essentially different from other days +The weak always sink +Who had learned the lesson of mothers,--how to wait + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + + +Volume 2. +V. THE RECTOR HAS MORE FOOD FOR THOUGHT. +VI. "WATCHMAN, WHAT OF THE NIGHT" +VII. THE KINGDOMS OF THE WORLD +VIII. THE LINE of LEAST RESISTANCE. + + + +CHAPTER V + +THE RECTOR HAS MORE FOOD FOR THOUGHT + + +I + +Sunday after Sunday Hodder looked upon the same picture, the winter light +filtering through emblazoned windows, falling athwart stone pillars, and +staining with rich colours the marble of the centre aisle. The organ +rolled out hymns and anthems, the voices of the white robed choir echoed +among the arches. And Hodder's eye, sweeping over the decorous +congregation, grew to recognize certain landmarks: Eldon Parr, rigid at +one end of his empty pew; little Everett Constable, comfortably, but +always pompously settled at one end of his, his white-haired and +distinguished-looking wife at the other. The space between them had once +been filled by their children. There was Mr. Ferguson, who occasionally +stroked his black whiskers with a prodigious solemnity; Mrs. Ferguson, +resplendent and always a little warm, and their daughter Nan, dainty and +appealing, her eyes uplifted and questioning. + +The Plimptons, with their rubicund and aggressively healthy offspring, +were always in evidence. And there was Mrs. Larrabbee. What between +wealth and youth, independence and initiative, a widowhood now emerged +from a mourning unexceptionable, an elegance so unobtrusive as to border +on mystery, she never failed to agitate any atmosphere she entered, even +that of prayer. From time to time, Hodder himself was uncomfortably +aware of her presence, and he read in her upturned face an interest +which, by a little stretch of the imagination, might have been deemed +personal . . . . + +Another was Gordon Atterbury, still known as "young Gordon," though his +father was dead, and he was in the vestry. He was unmarried and forty- +five, and Mrs. Larrabbee had said he reminded her of a shrivelling seed +set aside from a once fruitful crop. He wore, invariably, checked +trousers and a black cutaway coat, eyeglasses that fell off when he +squinted, and were saved from destruction by a gold chain. No wedding or +funeral was complete without him. And one morning, as he joined Mr. Parr +and the other gentlemen who responded to the appeal, "Let your light so +shine before men," a strange, ironical question entered the rector's +mind--was Gordon Atterbury the logical product of those doctrines which +he, Hodder, preached with such feeling and conviction? + +None, at least, was so fervent a defender of the faith, so punctilious +in all observances, so constant at the altar rail; none so versed in +rubrics, ritual, and canon law; none had such a knowledge of the Church +fathers. Mr. Atterbury delighted to discuss them with the rector at the +dinner parties where they met; none was more zealous for foreign +missions. He was the treasurer of St. John's. + +It should undoubtedly have been a consolation to any rector to possess +Mr. Atterbury's unqualified approval, to listen to his somewhat delphic +compliments,--heralded by a clearing of the throat. He represented +the faith as delivered to the saints, and he spoke for those in the +congregation to whom it was precious. Why was it that, to Hodder, +he should gradually have assumed something of the aspect of a Cerberus? +Why was it that he incited a perverse desire to utter heresies? + +Hodder invariably turned from his contemplation of Gordon Atterbury to +the double blaring pew, which went from aisle to aisle. In his heart, he +would have preferred the approval of Eleanor Goodrich and her husband, +and of Asa Waring. Instinct spoke to him here; he seemed to read in +their faces that he failed to strike in them responsive chords. He was +drawn to them: the conviction grew upon him that he did not reach them, +and it troubled him, as he thought, disproportionately. + +He could not expect to reach all. But they were the type to which he +most wished to appeal; of all of his flock, this family seemed best to +preserve the vitality and ideals of the city and nation. Asa Waring was +a splendid, uncompromising survival; his piercing eyes sometimes met +Hodder's across the church, and they held for him a question and a +riddle. Eleanor Goodrich bore on her features the stamp of true nobility +of character, and her husband, Hodder knew, was a man among men. In +addition to a respected lineage, he possessed an unusual blending of +aggressiveness and personal charm that men found irresistible. + +The rector's office in the parish house was a businesslike room on the +first floor, fitted up with a desk, a table, straight-backed chairs, and +a revolving bookcase. And to it, one windy morning in March, came +Eleanor Goodrich. Hodder rose to greet her with an eagerness which, +from his kindly yet penetrating glance, she did not suspect. + +"Am I interrupting you, Mr. Hodder?" she asked, a little breathlessly. + +"Not at all," he said, drawing up a chair. "Won't you sit down?" + +She obeyed. There was an awkward pause during which the colour slowly +rose to her face. + +"I wanted to ask you one or two things," she began, not very steadily. +"As perhaps you may know, I was brought up in this church, baptized and +confirmed in it. I've come to fear that, when I was confirmed, I wasn't +old enough to know what I was doing." + +She took a deep breath, amazed at her boldness, for this wasn't in the +least how she had meant to begin. And she gazed at the rector anxiously. +To her surprise, he did not appear to be inordinately shocked. + +"Do you know any better now?" he asked. + +"Perhaps not," she admitted. "But the things of which I was sure at that +time I am not sure of now. My faith is--is not as complete." + +"Faith may be likened to an egg, Mrs. Goodrich," he said. "It must be +kept whole. If the shell is chipped, it is spoiled." + +Eleanor plucked up her courage. Eggs, she declared, had been used as +illustrations by conservatives before now. + +Hodder relieved her by smiling in ready appreciation. + +"Columbus had reference to this world," he said. "I was thinking of a +more perfect cue." + +"Oh!" she cried, "I dare say there is a more perfect one. I should hate +to think there wasn't--but I can't imagine it. There's nothing in the +Bible in the way of description of it to make me really wish to go there. +The New Jerusalem is too insipid, too material. I'm sure I'm shocking +you, but I must be honest, and say what I feel." + +"If some others were as honest," said the rector, "the problems of +clergymen would be much easier. And it is precisely because people will +not tell us what they feel that we are left in the dark and cannot help +them. Of course, the language of St. John about the future is +figurative." + +"Figurative,--yes," she consented, "but not figurative in a way that +helps me, a modern American woman. The figures, to be of any use, ought +to appeal to my imagination--oughtn't they? But they don't. I can't see +any utility in such a heaven--it seems powerless to enter as a factor +into my life." + +"It is probable that we are not meant to know anything about the future." + +"Then I wish it hadn't been made so explicit. Its very definiteness is +somehow--stultifying. And, Mr. Hodder, if we were not meant to know its +details, it seems to me that if the hereafter is to have any real value +and influence over our lives here, we should know something of its +conditions, because it must be in some sense a continuation of this. +I'm not sure that I make myself clear." + +"Admirably clear. But we have our Lord's example of how to live here." + +"If we could be sure," said Eleanor, "just what that example meant." + +Hodder was silent a moment. + +"You mean that you cannot accept what the Church teaches about his life?" +he asked. + +"No, I can't," she faltered. "You have helped me to say it. I want to +have the Church's side better explained,--that's why I'm here." She +glanced up at him, hesitatingly, with a puzzled wonder, such a positive, +dynamic representative of that teaching did he appear. "And my husband +can't,--so many people I know can't, Mr. Hodder. Only, some of them +don't mention the fact. They accept it. And you say things with such a +certainty--" she paused. + +"I know," he replied, "I know. I have felt it since I have come here +more than ever before." He did not add that he had felt it particularly +about her, about her husband: nor did he give voice to his instinctive +conviction that he respected and admired these two more than a hundred +others whose professed orthodoxy was without a flaw. "What is it in +particular," he asked, troubled, "that you cannot accept? I will do my +best to help you." + +"Well--"she hesitated again. + +"Please continue to be frank," he begged. + +"I can't believe in the doctrine of the virgin birth," she responded in a +low voice; "it seems to me so--so material. And I feel I am stating a +difficulty that many have, Mr. Hodder. Why should it have been thought +necessary for God to have departed from what is really a sacred and +sublime fact in nature, to resort to a material proof in order to +convince a doubting humanity that Jesus was his Son? Oughtn't the proof +of Christ's essential God-ship to lie in his life, to be discerned by the +spiritual; and wasn't he continually rebuking those who demanded material +proof? The very acceptance of a material proof, it seems to me, is a +denial of faith, since faith ceases to have any worth whatever the moment +the demand for such proof is gratified. Knowledge puts faith out of +the question, for faith to me means a trusting on spiritual grounds. +And surely the acceptance of scriptural statements like that of the +miraculous birth without investigation is not faith--it is mere +credulity. If Jesus had been born in a miraculous way, the disciples +must have known it. Joseph must have known it when he heard the answer +'I must be about my father's business,' and their doubts are +unexplained." + +"I see you have been investigating," said the rector. + +"Yes," replied Eleanor, with an unconscious shade of defiance, "people +want to know, Mr. Dodder,--they want to know the truth. And if you +consider the preponderance of the evidence of the Gospels themselves--my +brother-in-law says--you will find that the miraculous birth has very +little to stand on. Take out the first two chapters of Matthew and Luke, +and the rest of the four Gospels practically contradict it. The +genealogies differ, and they both trace through Joseph." + +"I think people suffer in these days from giving too much weight to +the critics of Christianity," said the rector, "from not pondering more +deeply on its underlying truths. Do not think that I am accusing you +of superficiality, Mrs. Goodrich; I am sure you wish to go to the bottom, +or else you would be satisfied with what you have already read and +heard." + +"I do," she murmured. + +"And the more one reflects on the life of our Lord, the more one is +convinced that the doctrine of the virgin birth is a vital essential; +without it Christianity falls to pieces. Let us go at the matter the +other way round. If we attribute to our Lord a natural birth, we come at +once to the dilemma of having to admit that he was merely an individual +human person,--in an unsurpassed relationship with God, it is true, but +still a human person. That doctrine makes Christ historical, some one +to go back to, instead of the ever-present, preexistent Son of God and +mankind. I will go as far as to assert that if the virgin birth had +never been mentioned in the Gospels, it would nevertheless inevitably +have become a fundamental doctrine of the Christian faith. Such a truth +is too vast, too far-reaching to have been neglected, and it has a much +higher significance than the mere record of a fact. In spite of the +contradictions of science, it explains as nothing else can the mystery +of the divinity as well as the humanity of the Saviour." + +Eleanor was unconvinced. She felt, as she listened, the pressure of his +sincerity and force, and had to strive to prevent her thoughts from +becoming confused. + +"No, Mr. Hodder, I simply can't see any reason for resorting to a +physical miracle in order to explain a spiritual mystery. I can see why +the ancients demanded a sign of divinity as it were. But for us it has +ceased even to be that. It can't be proved. You ask me, in the face of +overwhelming evidence against it, to teach my children that the +Incarnation depends on it, but when they grow up and go to college and +find it discredited they run the risk of losing everything else with it. +And for my part, I fail utterly to see why, if with God all things are +possible, it isn't quite as believable, as we gather from St. Mark's +Gospel, that he incarnated himself in one naturally born. If you reach +the conclusion that Jesus was not a mere individual human person, you +reach it through the contemplation of his life and death." + +"Then it isn't the physical miracle you object to, especially?" he asked. + +"It's the uselessness of it, for this age," she exclaimed. "I think +clergymen don't understand the harm it is doing in concentrating the +attention on such a vulnerable and non-essential point. Those of us who +are striving to reorganize our beliefs and make them tenable, do not +bother our heads about miracles. They may be true, or may not, or some +of them may be. We are beginning to see that the virgin birth does not +add anything to Christ. We are beginning to see that perfection and +individuality are not incompatible,--one is divine, and the other human. +And isn't it by his very individuality that we are able to recognize +Jesus to-day?" + +"You have evidently thought and read a great deal," Dodder said, +genuinely surprised. "Why didn't you come to me earlier?" + +Eleanor bit her lip. He smiled a little. + +"I think I can answer that for you," he went on; "you believe we are +prejudiced,--I've no doubt many of us are. You think we are bound to +stand up for certain dogmas, or go down, and that our minds are +consequently closed. I am not blaming you," he added quickly, as she +gave a sign of protest, "but I assure you that most of us, so far as my +observation has gone, are honestly trying to proclaim the truth as we see +it." + +"Insincerity is the last thing I should have accused you of, Mr. Hodder," +she said flushing. "As I told you, you seem so sure." + +"I don't pretend to infallibility, except so far as I maintain that the +Church is the guardian of certain truths which human experience has +verified. Let me ask you if you have thought out the difference your +conception of the Incarnation;--the lack of a patently divine commission, +as it were,--makes in the doctrine of grace?" + +"Yes, I have," she answered, "a little. It gives me more hope. I cannot +think I am totally depraved." I do not believe that God wishes me to +think so. And while I am still aware of the distance between Christ's +perfection and my own imperfection, I feel that the possibility is +greater of lessening that distance. It gives me more self-respect, more +self-reliance. George Bridges says that the logical conclusion of that +old doctrine is what philosophers call determinism--Calvinistic +predestination. I can't believe in that. The kind of grace God gives me +is the grace to help myself by drawing force from the element of him in +my soul. He gives me the satisfaction of developing. Of one thing I am +assured, Mrs. Goodrich," Hodder replied, "that the logical result of +independent thinking is anarchy. Under this modern tendency toward +individual creeds, the Church has split and split again until, if it +keeps on, we shall have no Church at all to carry on the work of our Lord +on earth. History proves that to take anything away from the faith is to +atrophy, to destroy it. The answer to your arguments is to be seen on +every side, atheism, hypocrisy, vice, misery, insane and cruel grasping +after wealth. There is only one remedy I can see," he added, inflexibly, +yet with a touch of sadness, believe." + +"What if we can't believe?" she asked. + +"You can." He spoke with unshaken conviction. + +"You can if you make the effort, and I am sure you will. My experience +is that in the early stages of spiritual development we are impervious to +certain truths. Will you permit me to recommend to you certain books +dealing with these questions in a modern way?" + +"I will read them gladly," she said, and rose. + +"And then, perhaps, we may have another talk," he added, looking down at +her. "Give my regards to your husband." + +Yet, as he stood in the window looking after her retreating figure, there +gradually grew upon him a vague and uncomfortable feeling that he had not +been satisfactory, and this was curiously coupled with the realization +that the visit had added a considerable increment to his already +pronounced liking for Eleanor Goodrich. She was, paradoxically, his +kind of a person--such was the form the puzzle took. And so ably had +she presented her difficulties that, at one point of the discussion, +it had ironically occurred to him to refer her to Gordon Atterbury. +Mr. Atterbury's faith was like an egg, and he took precious care not +to have it broken or chipped. + +Hodder found himself smiling. It was perhaps inevitable that he began at +once to contrast Mrs. Goodrich with other feminine parishioners who had +sought him out, and who had surrendered unconditionally. They had +evinced an equally disturbing tendency,--a willingness to be overborne. +For had he not, indeed, overborne them? He could not help suspecting +these other ladies of a craving for the luxury of the confessional. One +thing was certain,--he had much less respect for them than for Eleanor +Goodrich . . . . + +That afternoon he sent her the list of books. But the weeks passed, +and she did not come back. Once, when he met her at a dinner of Mrs. +Preston's, both avoided the subject of her visit, both were conscious +of a constraint. She did not know how often, unseen by her, his eyes had +sought her out from the chancel. For she continued to come to church as +frequently as before, and often brought her husband. + + + +II + +One bright and boisterous afternoon in March, Hodder alighted from an +electric car amid a swirl of dust and stood gazing for a moment at the +stone gate-houses of that 'rus in urbe', Waverley Place, and at the gold +block-letters written thereon, "No Thoroughfare." Against those gates +and their contiguous grill the rude onward rush of the city had beaten in +vain, and, baffled, had swept around their serene enclosure, westward. + +Within, a silvery sunlight lit up the grass of the island running down +the middle, and in the beds the softening earth had already been broken +by the crocus sheaves. The bare branches of the trees swayed in the +gusts. As Hodder penetrated this hallowed precinct he recognized, on +either hand, the residences of several of his parishioners, each in its +ample allotted space: Mrs. Larrabbee's; the Laureston Greys'; Thurston +Gore's, of which Mr. Wallis Plimpton was now the master,--Mr. Plimpton, +before whose pertinacity the walls of Jericho had fallen; and finally the +queer, twisted Richardson mansion of the Everett Constables, whither he +was bound, with its recessed doorway and tiny windows peeping out from +under mediaeval penthouses. + +He was ushered into a library where the shades were already drawn, where +a-white-clothed tea-table was set before the fire, the red rays dancing +on the silver tea-kettle. On the centre-table he was always sure to +find, neatly set in a rack, the books about which the world was talking, +or rather would soon begin to talk; and beside them were ranged +magazines; French, English, and American, Punch, the Spectator, the +Nation, the 'Revue des deux Mondes'. Like the able general she was, +Mrs. Constable kept her communications open, and her acquaintance was by +no means confined to the city of her nativity. And if a celebrity were +passing through, it were pretty safe, if in doubt, to address him in her +care. + +Hodder liked and admired her, but somehow she gave him the impression of +having attained her ascendancy at a price, an ascendancy which had +apparently been gained by impressing upon her environment a new note-- +literary, aesthetic, cosmopolitan. She held herself, and those she +carried with her, abreast of the times, and he was at a loss to see how +so congenial an effort could have left despite her sweetness--the little +mark of hardness he discerned, of worldliness. For she was as well born +as any woman in the city, and her husband was a Constable. He had +inherited, so the rector had been informed, one of those modest fortunes +that were deemed affluence in the eighties. His keeping abreast of the +times was the enigma, and Hodder had often wondered how financial genius +had contrived to house itself in the well-dressed, gently pompous little +man whose lack of force seemed at times so painfully evident. And yet he +was rated one of the rich men of the city, and his name Hodder had read +on many boards with Mr. Parr's! + +A person more versed in the modern world of affairs than the late rector +of Bremerton would not have been so long in arriving at the answer to +this riddle. Hodder was astute, he saw into people more than they +suspected, but he was not sophisticated. + +He stood picturing, now, the woman in answer to whose summons he had +come. With her finely chiselled features, her abundant white hair, her +slim figure and erect carriage she reminded him always of a Vigee Lebrun +portrait. He turned at the sound of her voice behind him. + +"How good of you to come, Mr. Hodder, when you were so busy," she said, +taking his hand as she seated herself behind the tea-kettle. "I wanted +the chance to talk to you, and it seemed the best way. What is that you +have, Soter's book?" + +"I pinked it up on the table," he explained. + +"Then you haven't read it? You ought to. As a clergyman, it would +interest you. Religion treated from the economic side, you know, the +effect of lack of nutrition on character. Very unorthodox, of course." + +"I find that I have very little time to read," he said. "I sometimes +take a book along in the cars." + +"Your profession is not so leisurely as it once was, I often think it +such a pity. But you, too, are paying the penalty of complexity." She +smiled at him sympathetically. "How is Mr. Parr? I haven't seen him for +several weeks." + +"He seemed well when I saw him last," replied Hodder. + +"He's a wonderful man; the amount of work he accomplishes without +apparent effort is stupendous." Mrs. Constable cast what seemed a +tentative glance at the powerful head, and handed him his tea. +"I wanted to talk to you about Gertrude," she said. + +He looked unenlightened. + +"About my daughter, Mrs. Warren. She lives in New York, you know-- +on Long Island." + +Then he had remembered something he had heard. + +"Yes," he said. + +"She met you, at the Fergusons', just for a moment, when she was out here +last autumn. What really nice and simple people the Fergusons are, with +all their money!" + +"Very nice indeed," he agreed, puzzled. + +"I have been sorry for them in the past," she went on evenly. "They had +rather a hard time--perhaps you may have heard. Nobody appreciated them. +They were entombed, so to speak, in a hideous big house over on the South +Side, which fortunately burned down, and then they bought in Park Street, +and took a pew in St. John's. I suppose the idea of that huge department +store was rather difficult to get used to. But I made up my mind it was +nonsense to draw the line at department stores, especially since Mr. +Ferguson's was such a useful and remarkable one, so I went across and +called. Mrs. Ferguson was so grateful, it was almost pathetic. And +she's a very good friend--she came here everyday when Genevieve had +appendicitis." + +"She's a good woman," the rector said. + +"And Nan,--I adore Nan, everybody adores Nan. She reminds me of one of +those exquisite, blue-eyed dolls her father imports. Now if I were a +bachelor, Mr. Hodder--!" Mrs. Constable left the rest to his +imagination. + +He smiled. + +"I'm afraid Miss Ferguson has her own ideas." Running through Hodder's +mind, a troubled current, were certain memories connected with Mrs. +Warren. Was she the divorced daughter, or was she not? + +"But I was going to speak to you about Gertrude. She's had such a +hard time, poor dear, my heart has bled for her." There was a barely +perceptible tremor in Mrs. Constable's voice. "All that publicity, and +the inevitable suffering connected with it! And no one can know the +misery she went through, she is so sensitive. But now, at last, she has +a chance for happiness--the real thing has come." + +"The real thing!" he echoed. + +"Yes. She's going to marry a splendid man, Eldridge Sumner. I know the +family well. They have always stood for public spirit, and this Mr. +Summer, although he is little over thirty, was chairman of that Vice +Commission which made such a stir in New York a year ago. He's a lawyer, +with a fine future, and they're madly in love. And Gertrude realizes +now, after her experience, the true values in life. She was only a child +when she married Victor Warren." + +"But Mr. Warren," Hodder managed to say, "is still living." + +"I sometimes wonder, Mr. Hodder," she went on hurriedly, "whether we can +realize how different the world is today from what it was twenty years +ago, until something of this kind is actually brought home to us. +I shall never forget how distressed, how overwhelmed Mr. Constable and I +were when Gertrude got her divorce. I know that they are regarding such +things differently in the East, but out here!--We never dreamed that such +a thing could happen to us, and we regarded it as a disgrace. But +gradually--" she hesitated, and looked at the motionless clergyman-- +"gradually I began to see Gertrude's point of view, to understand that +she had made a mistake, that she had been too young to comprehend what +she was doing. Victor Warren had been ruined by money, he wasn't +faithful to her, but an extraordinary thing has happened in his case. +He's married again, and Gertrude tells me he's absurdly happy, and has +two children." + +As he listened, Hodder's dominating feeling was amazement that such a +course as her daughter had taken should be condoned by this middle-aged +lady, a prominent member of his congregation and the wife of a vestryman, +who had been nurtured and steeped in Christianity. And not only that: +Mrs. Constable was plainly defending a further step, which in his opinion +involved a breach of the Seventh Commandment! To have invaded these +precincts, the muddy, turbulent river of individualism had risen higher +than he would have thought possible . . . . + +"Wait!" she implored, checking his speech,--she had been watching him +with what was plainly anxiety, "don't say anything yet. I have a letter +here which she wrote me--at the time. I kept it. Let me read a part of +it to you, that you may understand more fully the tragedy of it." + +Mrs. Constable thrust her hand into her lap and drew forth a thickly +covered sheet. + +"It was written just after she left him--it is an answer to my protest," +she explained, and began to read: + +"I know I promised to love Victor, mother, but how can one promise to +do a thing over which one has no control? I loved him after he stopped +loving me. He wasn't a bit suited to me--I see that now--he was +attracted by the outside of me, and I never knew what he was like until I +married him. His character seemed to change completely; he grew morose +and quick-tempered and secretive, and nothing I did pleased him. We led +a cat-and-dog life. I never let you know--and yet I see now we might +have got along in any other relationship. We were very friendly when we +parted, and I'm not a bit jealous because he cares for another woman who +I can see is much better suited to him. + +"'I can't honestly regret leaving him, and I'm not conscious of having +done anything wrong. I don't want to shock you, and I know how terribly +you and father must feel, but I can see now, somehow, that I had to go +through this experience, terrible as it was, to find myself. If it were +thirty years ago, before people began to be liberal in such matters, +I shudder to think what might have become of me. I should now be one of +those terrible women between fifty and sixty who have tried one frivolity +and excess after another--but I'm not coming to that! And my friends +have really been awfully kind, and supported me--even Victor's family. +Don't, don't think that I'm not respectable! I know how you look at such +things.'" Mrs. Constable closed the letter abruptly, + +"I did look at such things in that way," she added, "but I've changed. +That letter helped to change me, and the fact that it was Gertrude who +had been through this. If you only knew Gertrude, Mr. Hodder, you +couldn't possibly think of her as anything but sweet and pure." + +Although the extent of Hodder's acquaintance with Mrs. Warren had been +but five minutes, the letter had surprisingly retouched to something like +brilliancy her faded portrait, the glow in her cheeks, the iris blue in +her eyes. He recalled the little shock he had experienced when told that +she was divorced, for her appeal had lain in her very freshness, her +frank and confiding manner. She was one of those women who seem to say, +"Here I am, you can't but like me:" And he had responded--he remembered +that--he had liked her. And now her letter, despite his resistance, had +made its appeal, so genuinely human was it, so honest, although it +expressed a philosophy he abhorred. + +Mrs. Constable was watching him mutely, striving to read in his grave +eyes the effect of her pleadings. + +"You are telling me this, Mrs. Constable--why?" he asked. + +"Because I wished you to know the exact situation before I asked you, as +a great favour to me, to Mr. Constable, to--to marry her in St. John's. +Of course," she went on, controlling her rising agitation, and +anticipating a sign of protest, "we shouldn't expect to have any people, +---and Gertrude wasn't married in St. John's before; that wedding was at +Passumset our seashore place. Oh, Mr. Hodder, before you answer, think +of our feelings, Mr. Constable's and mine! If you could see Mr. +Constable, you would know how he suffers--this thing has upset him more +than the divorce. His family have such pride. I am so worried about +him, and he doesn't eat anything and looks so haggard. I told him I +would see you and explain and that seemed to comfort him a little. +She is, after all, our child, and we don't want to feel, so far as our +church is concerned, that she is an Ishmaelite; we don't want to have the +spectacle of her having to go around, outside, to find a clergyman--that +would be too dreadful! I know how strict, how unflinching you are, and I +admire you for it. But this is a special case." + +She paused, breathing deeply, and Hodder gazed at her with pity. What he +felt was more than pity; he was experiencing, indeed, but with a deeper +emotion, something of that same confusion of values into which Eleanor +Goodrich's visit had thrown him. At the same time it had not escaped his +logical mind that Mrs. Constable had made her final plea on the score of +respectability. + +"It gives me great pain to have to refuse you," he said gently. + +"Oh, don't," she said sharply," don't say that! I can't have made the +case clear. You are too big, too comprehending, Mr. Hodder, to have a +hard-and-fast rule. There must be times--extenuating circumstances--and +I believe the canons make it optional for a clergyman to marry the +innocent person." + +"Yes, it is optional, but I do, not believe it should be. The question +is left to the clergyman's' conscience. According to my view, Mrs. +Constable, the Church, as the agent of God, effects an indissoluble bond. +And much as I should like to do anything in my power for you and Mr. +Constable, you have asked the impossible,--believing as I do, there can +be no special case, no extenuating circumstance. And it is my duty to +tell you it is because people to-day are losing their beliefs that we +have this lenient attitude toward the sacred things. If they still held +the conviction that marriage is of God, they would labour to make it a +success, instead of flying apart at the first sign of what they choose to +call incompatibility." + +"But surely," she said, "we ought not to be punished for our mistakes! +I cannot believe that Christ himself intended that his religion should be +so inelastic, so hard and fast, so cruel as you imply. Surely there is +enough unhappiness without making more. You speak of incompatibility-- +but is it in all cases such an insignificant matter? We are beginning +to realize in these days something of the effects of character on +character,--deteriorating effects, in many instances. With certain +persons we are lifted up, inspired to face the battle of life and +overcome its difficulties. I have known fine men and women whose lives +have been stultified or ruined because they were badly mated. And I +cannot see that the character of my own daughter has deteriorated because +she has got a divorce from a man with whom she was profoundly out of +sympathy--of harmony. On the contrary, she seems more of a person than +she was; she has clearer, saner views of life; she has made her mistake +and profited by it. Her views changed--Victor Warren's did not. She +began to realize that some other woman might have an influence over his +life--she had none, simply because he did not love her. And love is not +a thing we can compel." + +"You are making it very hard for me, Mrs. Constable," he said. +"You are now advocating an individualism with which the Church can have +no sympathy. Christianity teaches us that life is probationary, and if +we seek to avoid the trials sent us, instead of overcoming them, we find +ourselves farther than ever from any solution. We have to stand by our +mistakes. If marriage is to be a mere trial of compatibility, why go +through a ceremony than which there is none more binding in human and +divine institutions? One either believes in it, or one does not. And, +if belief be lacking, the state provides for the legalization of +marriages." + +"Oh!" she exclaimed. + +"If persons wish to be married in church in these days merely because it +is respectable, if such be their only reason, they are committing a great +wrong. They are taking an oath before God with reservations, knowing +that public opinion will release them if the marriage does not fulfil +their expectations." + +For a moment she gazed at him with parted lips, and pressing her +handkerchief to her eyes began silently to cry. The sudden spectacle, +in this condition, of a self-controlled woman of the world was infinitely +distressing to Hodder, whose sympathies were even more sensitive than +(in her attempt to play upon them) she had suspected. . . She was +aware that he had got to his feet, and was standing beside her, speaking +with an oddly penetrating tenderness. + +"I did not mean to be harsh," he said, "and it is not that I do not +understand how you feel. You have made my duty peculiarly difficult." + +She raised up to him a face from which the mask had fallen, from which +the illusory look of youth had fled. He turned away. . . And +presently she began to speak again; in disconnected sentences. + +"I so want her to be happy--I cannot think, I will not think that she has +wrecked her life--it would be too unjust, too cruel. You cannot know +what it is to be a woman!" + +Before this cry he was silent. + +"I don't ask anything of God except that she shall have a chance, and it +seems to me that he is making the world better--less harsh for women." + +He did not reply. And presently she looked up at him again, steadfastly +now, searchingly. The barriers of the conventions were down, she had +cast her pride to the winds. He seemed to read in her a certain relief. + +"I am going to tell you something, Mr. Hodder, which you may think +strange, but I have a reason for saying it. You are still a young man, +and I feel instinctively that you have an unusual career before you. You +interested me the first time you stepped into the pulpit of St. John's-- +and it will do me good to talk to you, this once, frankly. You have +reiterated to-day, in no uncertain terms, doctrines which I once +believed, which I was brought up to think infallible. But I have +lived since then, and life itself has made me doubt them. + +"I recognize in you a humanity, a sympathy and breadth which you are +yourself probably not aware of, all of which is greater than the rule +which you so confidently apply to fit all cases. It seems to me that +Christ did not intend us to have such rules. He went beyond them, into +the spirit. + +"Under the conditions of society--of civilization to-day, most marriages +are merely a matter of chance. Even judgment cannot foresee the +development of character brought about by circumstances, by environment. +And in many marriages I have known about intimately both the man and the +woman have missed the most precious thing that life can give something I +cannot but think--God intends us to have. You see,"--she smiled at him +sadly--"I am still a little of an idealist. + +"I missed--the thing I am talking about, and it has been the great sorrow +of my life--not only on my account, but on my husband's. And so far as I +am concerned, I am telling you the truth when I say I should have been +content to have lived in a log cabin if--if the gift had been mine. Not +all the money in the world, nor the intellect, nor the philanthropy--the +so-called interests of life, will satisfy me for its denial. I am a +disappointed woman, I sometimes think a bitter woman. I can't believe +that life is meant to be so. Those energies have gone into ambition +which should have been absorbed by--by something more worth while. + +"And I can see so plainly now that my husband would have been far, far +happier with another kind of woman. I drew him away from the only work +he ever enjoyed--his painting. I do not say he ever could have been a +great artist, but he had a little of the divine spark, in his enthusiasm +at least--in his assiduity. I shall never forget our first trip abroad, +after we were married--he was like a boy in the galleries, in the +studios. I could not understand it then. I had no real sympathy with +art, but I tried to make sacrifices, what I thought were Christian +sacrifices. The motive power was lacking, and no matter how hard I +tried, I was only half-hearted, and he realized it instinctively--no +amount of feigning could deceive him. Something deep in me, which was a +part of my nature, was antagonistic, stultifying to the essentials of his +own being. Of course neither of us saw that then, but the results were +not long in developing. To him, art was a sacred thing, and it was +impossible for me to regard it with equal seriousness. He drew into +himself,--closed up, as it were,--no longer discussed it. I was hurt. +And when we came home he kept on in business--he still had his father's +affairs to look after--but he had a little workroom at the top of the +house where he used to go in the afternoon . . . . + +"It was a question which one of us should be warped,--which personality +should be annihilated, so to speak, and I was the stronger. And as I +look back, Mr. Hodder, what occurred seems to me absolutely inevitable, +given the ingredients, as inevitable as a chemical process. We were both +striving against each other, and I won--at a tremendous cost. The +conflict, one might say, was subconscious, instinctive rather than +deliberate. My attitude forced him back into business, although we had +enough to live on very comfortably, and then the scale of life began to +increase, luxuries formerly unthought of seemed to become necessities. +And while it was still afar off I saw a great wave rolling toward us, the +wave of that new prosperity which threatened to submerge us, and I seized +the buoy fate had placed in our hands,--or rather, by suggestion, I +induced my husband to seize it--his name. + +"I recognized the genius, the future of Eldon Parr at a time when he was +not yet independent and supreme, when association with a Constable meant +much to him. Mr. Parr made us, as the saying goes. Needless to say; +money has not brought happiness, but a host of hard, false ambitions +which culminated in Gertrude's marriage with Victor Warren. I set my +heart on the match, helped it in every, way, and until now nothing but +sorrow has come of it. But my point--is this,--I see so clearly, now +that it is too late, that two excellent persons may demoralize each other +if they are ill-mated. It may be possible that I had the germs of false +ambition in me when I was a girl, yet I was conscious only of the ideal +which is in most women's hearts . . . . + +"You must not think that I have laid my soul bare in the hope of changing +your mind in regard to Gertrude. I recognize clearly, now, that that is +impossible. Oh, I know you do not so misjudge me," she added, reading +his quick protest in his face. + +"Indeed, I cannot analyze my reasons for telling you something of which I +have never spoken to any one else." + +Mrs. Constable regarded him fixedly. "You are the strongest reason. +You have somehow drawn it out of me . . . . And I suppose I wish some +one to profit by it. You can, Mr. Hodder,--I feel sure of that. You may +insist now that my argument against your present conviction of the +indissolubility of marriage is mere individualism, but I want you to +think of what I have told you, not to answer me now. I know your +argument by heart, that Christian character develops by submission, +by suffering, that it is the woman's place to submit, to efface herself. +But the root of the matter goes deeper than that. I am far from +deploring sacrifice, yet common-sense tells us that our sacrifice should +be guided by judgment, that foolish sacrifices are worse than useless. +And there are times when the very limitations of our individuality-- +necessary limitation's for us--prevent our sacrifices from counting. + +"I was wrong, I grant you, grievously wrong in the course I took, even +though it were not consciously deliberate. But if my husband had been an +artist I should always have remained separated from his real life by a +limitation I had no power to remove. The more I tried, the more apparent +my lack of insight became to him, the more irritated he grew. I studied +his sketches, I studied masterpieces, but it was all hopeless. The thing +wasn't in me, and he knew it wasn't. Every remark made him quiver. + +"The Church, I think, will grow more liberal, must grow more liberal, if +it wishes to keep in touch with people in an age when they are thinking +out these questions for themselves. The law cannot fit all cases, I am +sure the Gospel can. And sometimes women have an instinct, a kind of +second sight into persons, Mr. Hodder. I cannot explain why I feel that +you have in you elements of growth which will eventually bring you more +into sympathy with the point of view I have set forth, but I do feel it." + +Hodder did not attempt to refute her--she had, indeed, made discussion +impossible. She knew his arguments, as she had declared, and he had the +intelligence to realize that a repetition of them, on his part, would be +useless. She brought home to him, as never before, a sense of the +anomalistic position of the Church in these modern days, of its +appallingly lessened weight even with its own members. As a successor of +the Apostles, he had no power over this woman, or very little; he could +neither rebuke her, nor sentence her to penance. She recognized his +authority to marry her daughter, to baptize her daughter's children, +but not to interfere in any way with her spiritual life. It was as a +personality he had moved her--a personality apparently not in harmony +with his doctrine. Women had hinted at this before. And while Mrs. +Constable had not, as she perceived, shaken his conviction, the very +vividness and unexpectedness of a confession from her--had stirred him to +the marrow, had opened doors, perforce, which he, himself had marked +forbidden, and given him a glimpse beyond before he could lower his eyes. +Was there, after all, something in him that responded in spite of +himself? + +He sat gazing at her, his head bent, his strong hands on the arms of the +chair. + +"We never can foresee how we may change," he answered, a light in his +eyes that was like a smile, yet having no suggestion of levity. And his +voice--despite his disagreement--maintained the quality of his sympathy. +Neither felt the oddity, then, of the absence of a jarring note. "You +may be sure, at least, of my confidence, and of my gratitude for what you +have told me." + +His tone belied the formality of his speech. Mrs. Constable returned his +gaze in silence, and before words came again to either, a step sounded on +the threshold and Mr. Constable entered. + +Hodder looked at him with a new vision. His face was indeed lined and +worn, and dark circles here under his eyes. But at Mrs. Constable's +"Here's Mr. Hodder, dear," he came forward briskly to welcome the +clergyman. + +"How do you do?" he said cordially. "We don't see you very often." + +"I have been telling Mr. Hodder that modern rectors of big parishes have +far too many duties," said his wife. + +And after a few minutes of desultory conversation, the rector left. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +"WATCHMAN, WHAT OF THE NIGHT?" + +It was one of those moist nights of spring when the air is pungent with +the odour of the softened earth, and the gentle breaths that stirred +the curtains in Mr. Parr's big dining-room wafted, from the garden, +the perfumes of a revived creation,--delicious, hothouse smells. +At intervals, showers might be heard pattering on the walk outside. +The rector of St. John's was dining with his great parishioner. + +Here indeed were a subject for some modern master, a chance to picture +for generations to come an aspect of a mighty age, an age that may some +day be deemed but a grotesque and anomalistic survival of a more ancient +logic; a gargoyle carved out of chaos, that bears on its features a +resemblance to the past and the future. + +Our scene might almost be mediaeval with its encircling gloom, through +which the heavy tapestries and shadowy corners of the huge apartment may +be dimly made out. In the center, the soft red glow of the candles, the +gleaming silver, the shining cloth, the Church on one side--and what on +the other? No name given it now, no royal name, but still Power. The +two are still in apposition, not yet in opposition, but the discerning +may perchance read a prophecy in the salient features of the priest. + +The Man of Power of the beginning of the twentieth century demands +a subtler analysis, presents an enigma to which the immortal portraits +of forgotten Medicis and Capets give no clew. Imagine, if you can, +a Lorenzo or a Grand Louis in a tightly-buttoned frock coat! There must +be some logical connection between the habit and the age, since crimson +velvet and gold brocade would have made Eldon Parr merely ridiculous. + +He is by no means ridiculous, yet take him out of the setting and put him +in the street, and you might pass him a dozen times without noticing him. +Nature, and perhaps unconscious art, have provided him with a protective +exterior; he is the colour of his jungle. After he has crippled you-- +if you survive--you will never forget him. You will remember his eye, +which can be unsheathed like a rapier; you will recall his lips as the +expression of a relentless negative. The significance of the slight +bridge on the narrow nose is less easy to define. He is neither tall +nor short; his face is clean-shaven, save for scanty, unobtrusive +reddish tufts high on the cheeks; his hair is thin. + +It must be borne in mind, however, that our rector did not see him in his +jungle, and perhaps in the traditional nobility of the lion there is a +certain truth. An interesting biography of some of the powerful of this +earth might be written from the point of view of the confessor or the +physician, who find something to love, something to pity, and nothing to +fear--thus reversing the sentiments of the public. + +Yet the friendship between John Hodder and Eldon Parr defied any definite +analysis on the rector's part, and was perhaps the strangest--and most +disquieting element that had as yet come into Hodder's life. The nature +of his intimacy with the banker, if intimacy it might be called, might +have surprised his other parishioners if they could have been hidden +spectators of one of these dinners. There were long silences when the +medium of communication, tenuous at best, seemed to snap, and the two sat +gazing at each other as from mountain peaks across impassable valleys. +With all the will in the world, their souls lost touch, though the sense +in the clergyman of the other's vague yearning for human companionship +was never absent. It was this yearning that attracted Hodder, who found +in it a deep pathos. + +After one of these intervals of silence, Eldon Parr looked up from his +claret. + +"I congratulate you, Hodder, on the stand you took in regard to +Constable's daughter," he said. + +"I didn't suppose it was known," answered the rector, in surprise. + +"Constable told me. I have reason to believe that he doesn't sympathize +with his wife in her attitude on this matter. It's pulled him down,-- +you've noticed that he looks badly?" + +"Yes," said the rector. He did not care to discuss the affair; he had +hoped it would not become known; and he shunned the congratulations of +Gordon Atterbury, which in such case would be inevitable. And in spite +of the conviction that he had done his duty, the memory of his talk with +Mrs. Constable never failed to make him, uncomfortable. + +Exasperation crept into Mr. Pares voice. + +"I can't think what's got into women in these times--at Mrs. Constable's +age they ought to know better. Nothing restrains them. They have +reached a point where they don't even respect the Church. And when that +happens, it is serious indeed. The Church is the governor on our social +engine, and it is supposed to impose a restraint upon the lawless." + +Hodder could not refrain from smiling a little at the banker's +conception. + +"Doesn't that reduce the Church somewhere to the level of the police +force?" be asked. + +"Not at all," said Eldon Parr, whose feelings seemed to be rising." +I am sorry for Constable. He feels the shame of this thing keenly, +and he ought to go away for a while to one of these quiet resorts. +I offered him my car. Sometimes I think that women have no morals. +At any rate, this modern notion of giving them their liberty is sheer +folly. Look what they have done with it! Instead of remaining at home, +where they belong, they are going out into the world and turning it +topsy-turvy. And if a man doesn't let them have a free hand, they get +a divorce and marry some idiot who will." + +Mr. Parr pushed back his chair and rose abruptly, starting for the door. +The rector followed him, forcibly struck by the unusual bitterness in his +tone. + +"If I have spoken strongly, it is because I feel strongly," he said in a +strange, thickened voice. "Hodder, how would you like to live in this +house--alone?" + +The rector looked down upon him with keen, comprehending eyes, and saw +Eldon Parr as he only, of all men, had seen him. For he himself did not +understand his own strange power of drawing forth the spirit from its +shell, of compelling the inner, suffering thing to reveal itself. + +"This poison," Eldon Parr went on unevenly, "has eaten into my own +family. My daughter, who might have been a comfort and a companion, +since she chose not to marry, was carried away by it, and thought it +incumbent upon her to have a career of her own. And now I have a choice +of thirty rooms, and not a soul to share them with. Sometimes, at night, +I make up my mind to sell this house. But I can't do it--something holds +me back, hope, superstition, or whatever you've a mind to call it. +You've never seen all of the house, have you?" he asked. + +The rector slowly shook his head, and the movement might have been one +that he would have used in acquiescence to the odd whim of a child. Mr. +Parr led the way up the wide staircase to the corridor above, traversing +chamber after chamber, turning on the lights. + +"These were my wife's rooms," he said, "they are just as she left them. +And these my daughter Alison's, when she chooses to pay me a visit. +I didn't realize that I should have to spend the last years of my life +alone. And I meant, when I gave my wife a house, to have it the best in +the city. I spared nothing on it, as you see, neither care nor money. +I had the best architect I could find, and used the best material. +And what good is it to me? Only a reminder--of what might have been. +But I've got a boy, Hodder,--I don't know whether I've ever spoken of him +to you--Preston. He's gone away, too. But I've always had the hope that +he might come back and get decently married, and live, here. That's why +I stay. I'll show you his picture." + +They climbed to the third floor, and while Mr. Parr way searching for +the electric switch, a lightning flash broke over the forests of the +park, prematurely revealing the room. It was a boy's room, hung with +photographs of school and college crews and teams and groups of +intimates, with deep window seats, and draped pennons of Harvard +University over the fireplace. Eldon Parr turned to one of the groups on +the will, the earliest taken at school. + +"There he is," he said, pointing out a sunny little face at the bottom, +a boy of twelve, bareheaded, with short, crisping yellow hair, smiling +lips and laughing eyes. "And here he is again," indicating another +group. Thus he traced him through succeeding years until they came to +those of college. + +"There he is," said the rector. "I think I can pick him out now." + +"Yes; that's Preston," said his father, staring hard at the picture. The +face had developed, the body had grown almost to man's estate, but the +hint of crispness was still in the hair, the mischievous laughter in the +eyes. The rector gazed earnestly at the face, remembering his own +boyhood, his own youth, his mind dwelling, too, on what he had heard +of the original of the portrait. What had happened to the boy, to bring +to naught the fair promise of this earlier presentment? + +He was aroused by the voice of Eldon Parr, who had sunk into one of the +leather chairs. + +"I can see him now," he was saying, "as he used to come running down that +long flight of stone steps in Ransome Street to meet me when I came home. +Such laughter! And once, in his eagerness, he fell and cut his forehead. +I shall never forget how I felt. And when I picked him up he tried to +laugh still, with the tears rolling down his face. You know the way a +child's breath catches, Hodder? He was always laughing. And how he used +to cling to me, and beg me to take him out, and show such an interest in +everything! He was a bright boy, a remarkable child, I thought, but I +suppose it was my foolishness. He analyzed all he saw, and when he used +to go off in my car, Brennan, the engineer, would always beg to have +him in the cab. And such sympathy! He knew in an instant when I was +worried. I had dreams of what that boy would become, but I was too sure +of it. I went on doing other things--there were so many things, and I +was a slave to them. And before I knew it, he'd gone off to school. +That was the year I moved up here, and my wife died. And after that, +all seemed to go wrong. Perhaps I was too severe; perhaps they didn't +understand him at boarding-school; perhaps I didn't pay enough attention +to him. At any rate, the first thing I knew his whole nature seemed to +have changed. He got into scrape after scrape at Harvard, and later he +came within an ace of marrying a woman. + +"He's my weakness to-day. I can say no to everybody in the world but to +him, and when I try to remember him as he used to come down those steps +on Ransome Street . . . . + +"He never knew how much I cared--that what I was doing was all for him, +building for him, that he might carry on my work. I had dreams of +developing this city, the great Southwest, and after I had gone Preston +was to bring them to fruition. + +"For some reason I never was able to tell him all this--as I am telling +you. The words would not come. We had grown apart. And he seemed to +think--God knows why!--he seemed to think I disliked him. I had Langmaid +talk to him, and other men I trusted--tell him what an unparalleled +opportunity he had to be of use in the world. Once I thought I had him +started straight and then a woman came along--off the streets, or little +better. He insisted on marrying her and wrecking his life, and when +I got her out of the way, as any father would have done, he left me. He +has never forgiven me. Most of the time I haven't even the satisfaction +of knowing were he is--London, Paris, or New York. I try not to think +of what he does. I ought to cut him off,--I can't do it--I can't do it, +Hodder--he's my one weakness still. I'm afraid--he'd sink out of sight +entirely, and it's the one hold I have left on him." + +Eldon Parr paused, with a groan that betokened not only a poignant +sorrow, but also something of relief--for the tortures of not being able +to unburden himself had plainly become intolerable. He glanced up and +met the compassionate eyes of the rector, who stood leaning against the +mantel. + +"With Alison it was different," he said. "I never understood her--even +when she was a child--and I used to look at her and wonder that she could +be my daughter. She was moody, intense, with a yearning for affection +I've since sometimes thought--she could not express. I did not feel the +need of affection in those days, so absorbed was I in building up,-- +so absorbed and driven, you might say. I suppose I must accept my +punishment as just. But the child was always distant with me, and I +always remember her in rebellion; a dark little thing with a quivering +lip, hair awry, and eyes that flashed through her tears. She would take +any amount of punishment rather than admit she had been in the wrong. +I recall she had once a fox terrier that never left her, that fought all +the dogs in the neighbourhood and destroyed the rugs and cushions in the +house. I got rid of it one summer when she was at the sea, and I think +she never forgave me. The first question she asked when she came home +was for that dog--Mischief, his name was--for Mischief. I told her what +I had done. It took more courage than I had thought. She went to her +room, locked herself in, and stayed there, and we couldn't get her to +come out for two days; she wouldn't even eat. + +"Perhaps she was jealous of Preston, but she never acknowledged it. When +she was little she used once in a while to come shyly and sit on my lap, +and look at me without saying anything. I hadn't the slightest notion +what was in the child's mind, and her reserve increased as she grew +older. She seemed to have developed a sort of philosophy of her own even +before she went away to school, and to have certain strongly defined +tastes. She liked, for instance, to listen to music, and for that very +reason would never learn to play. We couldn't make her, as a child. + +"Bad music, she said, offended her. She painted, she was passionately +fond of flowers, and her room was always filled with them. When she came +back from school to live with me, she built a studio upstairs. After +the first winter, she didn't care to go out much. By so pronounced a +character, young men in general were not attracted, but there were a few +who fell under a sort of spell. I can think of no other words strong +enough, and I used to watch them when they came here with a curious +interest. I didn't approve of all of them. Alison would dismiss them +or ignore them or be kind to them as she happened to feel, yet it didn't +seem to make any difference. One I suspect she was in love with-- +a fellow without a cent. + +"Then there was Bedloe Hubbell. I have reason enough to be thankful +now that she didn't care for him. They've made him president, you know, +of this idiotic Municipal League, as they call it. But in those days he +hadn't developed any nonsense, he was making a good start at the bar, +and was well off. His father was Elias Hubbell, who gave the Botanical +Garden to the city. I wanted her to marry Gordon Atterbury. He hung on +longer than any of them--five or six years; but she wouldn't hear of it. +That was how the real difference developed between us, although the +trouble was deep rooted, for we never really understood each other. I +had set my heart on it, and perhaps I was too dictatorial and insistent. +I don't know. I meant the best for her, God knows . . . . Gordon +never got over it. It dried him up." . . . . Irritation was creeping +back into the banker's voice. + +"Then it came into Alison's head that she wanted to 'make something of +her life,'--as she expressed it. She said she was wasting herself, and +began going to lectures with a lot of faddish women, became saturated +with these nonsensical ideas about her sex that are doing so much harm +nowadays. I suppose I was wrong in my treatment from the first. I never +knew how to handle her, but we grew like flint and steel. I'll say this +for her, she kept quiet enough, but she used to sit opposite me at the +table, and I knew all the time what she was thinking of, and then I'd +break out. Of course she'd defend herself, but she had her temper under +better control than I. She wanted to go away for a year or two and study +landscape gardening, and then come back and establish herself in an +office here. I wouldn't listen to it. And one morning, when she was +late to breakfast, I delivered an ultimatum. I gave her a lecture on a +woman's place and a woman's duty, and told her that if she didn't marry +she'd have to stay here and live quietly with me, or I'd disinherit her." + +Hodder had become absorbed in this portrait of Alison Parr, drawn by her +father with such unconscious vividness. + +"And then?" he asked. + +In spite of the tone of bitterness in which he had spoken, Eldon Parr +smiled. It was a reluctant tribute to his daughter. + +"I got an ultimatum in return," he said. "Alison should have been a +man." His anger mounted quickly as he recalled the scene. "She said she +had thought it all out: that our relationship had become impossible; that +she had no doubt it was largely her fault, but that was the way she was +made, and she couldn't change. She had, naturally, an affection for me +as her father, but it was very plain we couldn't get along together: she +was convinced that she had a right to individual freedom,--as she spoke +of it,--to develop herself. She knew, if she continued to live with me +on the terms I demanded, that her character would deteriorate. Certain +kinds of sacrifice she was capable of, she thought, but what I asked +would be a useless one. Perhaps I didn't realize it, but it was slavery. +Slavery!" he repeated, "the kind of slavery her mother had lived . . . ." + +He took a turn around the room. + +"So far as money was concerned, she was indifferent to it. She had +enough from her mother to last until she began to make more. She +wouldn't take any from me in any case. I laughed, yet I have never been +so angry in my life. Nor was it wholly anger, Hodder, but a queer tangle +of feelings I can't describe. There was affection mixed up in it--I +realized afterward--but I longed to take her and shake her and lock her +up until she should come to her senses: I couldn't. I didn't dare. I +was helpless. I told her to go. She didn't say anything more, but there +was a determined look in her eyes when she kissed me as I left for the +office. I spent a miserable day. More than once I made up my mind to go +home, but pride stopped me. I really didn't think she meant what she +said. When I got back to the house in the afternoon she had left for New +York. + +"Then I began to look forward to the time when her money would give out. +She went to Paris with another young woman, and studied there, and then +to England. She came back to New York, hired an apartment and a studio, +and has made a success." + +The rector seemed to detect an unwilling note of pride at the magic word. + +"It isn't the kind of success I think much of, but it's what she started +out to do. She comes out to see me, once in a while, and she designed +that garden." + +He halted in front of the clergyman. + +"I suppose you think it's strange, my telling you this," he said. "It +has come to the point," he declared vehemently, "where it relieves me to +tell somebody, and you seem to be a man of discretion and common-sense." + +Hodder looked down into Mr. Parr's face, and was silent. Perhaps he +recognized, as never before, the futility of the traditional words of +comfort, of rebuke. He beheld a soul in torture, and realized with +sudden sharpness how limited was his knowledge of the conditions of +existence of his own time. Everywhere individualism reared its ugly +head, everywhere it seemed plausible to plead justification; and once +more he encountered that incompatibility of which Mrs. Constable had +spoken! He might blame the son, blame the daughter, yet he could not +condemn them utterly . . . . One thing he saw clearly, that Eldon +Parr had slipped into what was still, for him, a meaningless hell. + +The banker's manner suddenly changed, reverted to what it had been. He +arose. + +"I've tried to do my duty as I saw it, and it comes to this--that we +who have spent the best years of our lives in striving to develop this +country have no thanks from our children or from any one else." + +With his hand on the electric switch, he faced Hodder almost defiantly as +he spoke these words, and suddenly snapped off the light, as though the +matter admitted of no discussion. In semi-darkness they groped down the +upper flight of stairs . . . . + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +THE KINGDOMS OF THE WORLD + + +I + +When summer arrived, the birds of brilliant plumage of Mr. Hodder's +flock arose and flew lightly away, thus reversing the seasons. Only the +soberer ones came fluttering into the cool church out of the blinding +heat, and settled here and there throughout the nave. The ample Mr. +Bradley, perspiring in an alpaca coat, took up the meagre collection on +the right of the centre aisle; for Mr. Parr, properly heralded, had gone +abroad on one of those periodical, though lonely tours that sent +anticipatory shivers of delight down the spines of foreign picture- +dealers. The faithful Gordon Atterbury was worshipping at the sea, +and even Mr. Constable and Mr. Plimpton, when recalled to the city by +financial cares, succumbed to the pagan influence of the sun, and were +usually to be found on Sunday mornings on the wide veranda of the country +club, with glasses containing liquid and ice beside them, and surrounded +by heaps of newspapers. + +To judge by St. John's, the city was empty. But on occasions, before +he himself somewhat tardily departed,--drawn thither by a morbid though +impelling attraction, Hodder occasionally walked through Dalton Street +of an evening. If not in St. John's, summer was the season in Dalton +Street. It flung open its doors and windows and moved out on the steps +and the pavements, and even on the asphalt; and the music of its cafes +and dance-halls throbbed feverishly through the hot nights. Dalton +Street resorted neither to country club nor church. + +Mr. McCrae, Hodder's assistant, seemed to regard these annual phenomena +with a grim philosophy,--a relic, perhaps, of the Calvinistic determinism +of his ancestors. He preached the same indefinite sermons, with the same +imperturbability, to the dwindled congregations in summer and the +enlarged ones in winter. But Hodder was capable of no such resignation-- +if resignation it were, for the self-contained assistant continued to be +an enigma; and it was not without compunction that he left, about the +middle of July, on his own vacation. He was tired, and yet he seemed to +have accomplished nothing in this first year of the city parish whereof +he had dreamed. And it was, no doubt, for that very reason that he was +conscious of a depressing exhaustion as his train rolled eastward over +that same high bridge that spanned the hot and muddy waters of the river. +He felt a fugitive. In no months since he had left the theological +seminary, had he seemingly accomplished so little; in no months had he +had so magnificent an opportunity. + +After he had reached the peaceful hills at Bremerton--where he had gone +on Mrs. Whitely's invitation--he began to look back upon the spring and +winter as a kind of mad nightmare, a period of ceaseless, distracted, +and dissipated activity, of rushing hither and thither with no results. +He had been aware of invisible barriers, restricting, hemming him in on +all sides. There had been no time for reflection; and now that he had a +breathing space, he was unable to see how he might reorganize his work in +order to make it more efficient. + +There were other perplexities, brought about by the glimpses he had had +into the lives and beliefs--or rather unbeliefs--of his new parishioners. +And sometimes, in an unwonted moment of pessimism, he asked himself why +they thought it necessary to keep all that machinery going when it had so +little apparent effect on their lives? He sat wistfully in the chancel +of the little Bremerton church and looked into the familiar faces of +those he had found in it when he came to it, and of those he had brought +into it, wondering why he had been foolish enough to think himself +endowed for the larger work. Here, he had been a factor, a force in the +community, had entered into its life and affections. What was he there? + +Nor did it tend to ease his mind that he was treated as one who has +passed on to higher things. + +"I was afraid you'd work too hard," said Mrs. Whitely, in her motherly +way. "I warned you against it, Mr. Hodder. You never spared yourself, +but in a big city parish it's different. But you've made such a success, +Nelson tells me, and everybody likes you there. I knew they would, of +course. That is our only comfort in losing you, that you have gone to +the greater work. But we do miss you." + + + +II + +The air of Bremerton, and later the air of Bar Harbor had a certain +reviving effect. And John Hodder, although he might be cast down, had +never once entertained the notion of surrender. He was inclined to +attribute the depression through which he had passed, the disappointment +he had undergone as a just punishment for an overabundance of ego,--only +Hodder used the theological term for the same sin. Had he not, after +all, laboured largely for his own glory, and not Gods? Had he ever +forgotten himself? Had the idea ever been far from his thoughts that it +was he, John Hodder, who would build up the parish of St. John's into a +living organization of faith and works? The curious thing was that he +had the power, and save in moments of weariness he felt it in him. He +must try to remember always that this power was from God. But why had +he been unable to apply it? + +And there remained disturbingly in his memory certain phrases of Mrs. +Constable's, such as "elements of growth." + +He would change, she had said; and he had appeared to her as one with +depths. Unsuspected depths--pockets that held the steam, which was +increasing in pressure. At Bremerton, it had not gathered in the +pockets, he had used it all--all had counted; but in the feverish, +ceaseless activity of the city parish he had never once felt that intense +satisfaction of emptying himself, nor, the sweet weariness that follows +it. His seemed the weariness of futility. And introspection was +revealing a crack--after so many years--in that self that he had believed +to be so strongly welded. Such was the strain of the pent-up force. He +recognized the danger-signal. The same phenomenon had driven him into +the Church, where the steam had found an outlet--until now. And yet, +so far as his examination went, he had not lost his beliefs, but the +power of communicating them to others. + +Bremerton, and the sight of another carrying on the work in which he had +been happy, weighed upon him, and Bar Harbor offered distraction. Mrs. +Larrabbee had not hesitated to remind him of his promise to visit her. +If the gallery of portraits of the congregation of St. John's were to be +painted, this lady's, at the age of thirty, would not be the least +interesting. It would have been out of place in no ancestral hall, and +many of her friends were surprised, after her husband's death, that she +did not choose one wherein to hang it. She might have. For she was the +quintessence of that feminine product of our country at which Europe has +never ceased to wonder, and to give her history would no more account for +her than the process of manufacture explains the most delicate of scents. +Her poise, her quick detection of sham in others not so fortunate, her +absolute conviction that all things were as they ought to be; her +charity, her interest in its recipients; her smile, which was kindness +itself; her delicate features, her white skin with its natural bloom; +the grace of her movements, and her hair, which had a different color in +changing lights--such an ensemble is not to be depicted save by a skilled +hand. + +The late Mr. Larrabbee's name was still printed on millions of bright +labels encircling cubes of tobacco, now manufactured by a Trust. +However, since the kind that entered Mrs. Larrabbee's house, or houses, +was all imported from Egypt or Cuba, what might have been in the nature +of an unpleasant reminder was remote from her sight, and she never drove +into the northern part of the city, where some hundreds of young women +bent all day over the cutting-machines. To enter too definitely into +Mrs. Larrabbee's history, therefore, were merely to be crude, for she is +not a lady to caricature. Her father had been a steamboat captain--once +an honoured calling in the city of her nativity--a devout Presbyterian +who believed in the most rigid simplicity. Few who remembered the +gaucheries of Captain Corington's daughter on her first presentation +to his family's friends could recognize her in the cosmopolitan Mrs. +Larrabbee. Why, with New York and London at her disposal, she elected to +remain in the Middle West, puzzled them, though they found her answer, +"that she belonged there," satisfying Grace Larrabbee's cosmopolitanism +was of that apperception that knows the value of roots, and during her +widowhood she had been thrusting them out. Mrs. Larrabbee followed by +"of" was much more important than just Mrs. Larrabbee. And she was, +moreover, genuinely attached to her roots. + +Her girlhood shyness--rudeness, some called it, mistaking the effect for +the cause--had refined into a manner that might be characterized as +'difficile', though Hodder had never found her so. She liked direct men; +to discover no guile on first acquaintance went a long way with her, and +not the least of the new rector's social triumphs had been his simple +conquest. + +Enveloped in white flannel, she met his early train at the Ferry; an +unusual compliment to a guest, had he but known it, but he accepted it +as a tribute to the Church. + +"I was so afraid you wouldn't come," she said, in a voice that conveyed +indeed more than a perfunctory expression. She glanced at him as he sat +beside her on the cushions of the flying motor boat, his strange eyes +fixed upon the blue mountains of the island whither they were bound, his +unruly hair fanned by the wind. + +"Why?" he asked, smiling at the face beneath the flying veil. + +"You need the rest. I believe in men taking their work seriously, but +not so seriously as you do." + +She was so undisguisedly glad to see him that he could scarcely have been +human if he had not responded. And she gave him, in that fortnight, a +glimpse of a life that was new and distracting: at times made him forget +--and he was willing to forget--the lower forms of which it was the +quintessence,--the factories that hummed, the forges that flung their +fires into the night in order that it might exist; the Dalton Streets +that went without. The effluvia from hot asphalt bore no resemblance to +the salt-laden air that rattled the Venetian blinds of the big bedroom to +which he was assigned. Her villa was set high above the curving shore, +facing a sheltered terrace-garden resplendent in its August glory; to +seaward, islands danced in the haze; and behind the house, in the +sunlight, were massed spruces of a brilliant arsenic green with purple +cones. The fluttering awnings were striped cardinal and white. + +Nature and man seemed to have conspired to make this place vividly +unreal, as a toy village comes painted from the shop. There were no +half-tones, no poverty--in sight, at least; no litter. On the streets +and roads, at the casino attached to the swimming-pool and at the golf +club were to be seen bewildering arrays of well-dressed, well-fed women +intent upon pleasure and exercise. Some of them gave him glances that +seemed to say, "You belong to us," and almost succeeded in establishing +the delusion. The whole effect upon Hodder, in the state of mind in +which he found himself, was reacting, stimulating, disquieting. At +luncheons and dinners, he was what is known as a "success"--always that +magic word. + +He resisted, and none so quick as women to scent resistance. His very +unbending attitude aroused their inherent craving for rigidity in his +profession; he was neither plastic, unctuous, nor subservient; his very +homeliness, redeemed by the eyes and mouth, compelled their attention. +One of them told Mrs. Larrabbee that that rector of hers would "do +something." + +But what, he asked himself, was he resisting? He was by no means a +Puritan; and while he looked upon a reasonable asceticism as having its +place in the faith that he professed, it was no asceticism that prevented +a more complete acquiescence on his part in the mad carnival that +surrounded him. + +"I'm afraid you don't wholly approve of Bar Harbor," his hostess +remarked; one morning. + +"At first sight, it is somewhat staggering to the provincial mind," he +replied. + +She smiled at him, yet with knitted brows. + +"You are always putting me off--I never can tell what you think. +And yet I'm sure you have opinions. You think these people frivolous, +of course." + +"Most of them are so," he answered, "but that is a very superficial +criticism. The question is, why are they so? The sight of Bar Harbor +leads a stranger to the reflection that the carnival mood has become +permanent with our countrymen, and especially our countrywomen." + +"The carnival mood," she repeated thoughtfully, "yes, that expresses it. +We are light, we are always trying to get away from ourselves, and +sometimes I wonder whether there are any selves to get away from. You +ought to atop us," she added, almost accusingly, "to bring us to our +senses." + +"That's just it," he agreed, "why don't we? Why can't we?" + +"If more clergymen were like you, I think perhaps you might." + +His tone, his expression, were revelations. + +"I--!" he exclaimed sharply, and controlled himself. But in that moment +Grace Larrabbee had a glimpse of the man who had come to arouse in her an +intense curiosity. For an instant a tongue of the fires of Vulcan had +shot forth, fires that she had suspected. + +"Aren't you too ambitious?" she asked gently. And again, although she +did not often blunder, she saw him wince. "I don't mean ambitious for +yourself. But surely you have made a remarkable beginning at St. John's. +Everybody admires and respects you, has confidence in you. You are so +sure of yourself," she hesitated a moment, for she had never ventured to +discuss religion with him, "of your faith. Clergymen ought not to be +apologetic, and your conviction cannot fail, in the long run, to have its +effect." + +"Its effect,--on what?" he asked. + +Mrs. Larrabbee was suddenly, at sea. And she prided herself on a lack of +that vagueness generally attributed to her sex. + +"On--on everything. On what we were talking about,--the carnival feeling, +the levity, on the unbelief of the age. Isn't it because the control has +been taken off?" + +He saw an opportunity to slip into smoother waters. + +"The engine has lost its governor?" + +"Exactly!" cried Mrs. Larrabbee. "What a clever simile!" + +"It is Mr. Pares," said Hodder. "Only he was speaking of other symptoms, +Socialism, and its opposite, individualism,--not carnivalism." + +"Poor man," said Mrs. Larrabbee, accepting the new ground as safer, yet +with a baffled feeling that Hodder had evaded her once more, "he has had +his share of individualism and carnivalism. His son Preston was here +last month, and was taken out to the yacht every night in an unspeakable +state. And Alison hasn't been what might be called a blessing." + +"She must be unusual," said the rector, musingly. + +"Oh, Alison is a Person. She has become quite the fashion, and has more +work than she can possibly attend to. Very few women with her good looks +could have done what she has without severe criticism, and something +worse, perhaps. The most extraordinary thing about her is her contempt +for what her father has gained, and for conventionalities. It always +amuses me when I think that she might have been the wife of Gordon +Atterbury. The Goddess of Liberty linked to--what?" + +Hodder thought instinctively of the Church. But he remained silent. + +"As a rule, men are such fools about the women they wish to marry," she +continued. "She would have led him a dance for a year or two, and then +calmly and inexorably left him. And there was her father, with all his +ability and genius, couldn't see it either, but fondly imagined that +Alison as Gordon Atterbury's wife, would magically become an Atterbury +and a bourgeoise, see that the corners were dusted in the big house, sew +underwear for the poor, and fast in Lent." + +"And she is happy--where she is?" he inquired somewhat naively. + +"She is self-sufficient," said Mrs. Larrabbee, with unusual feeling, +"and that is just what most women are not, in these days. Oh, why has +life become such a problem? Sometimes I think, with all that I have, +I'm not, so well off as one of those salesgirls in Ferguson's, at home. +I'm always searching for things to do--nothing is thrust on me. There +are the charities--Galt House, and all that, but I never seem to get at +anything, at the people I'd like to help. It's like sending money to +China. There is no direct touch any more. It's like seeing one's +opportunities through an iron grating." + +Hodder started at the phrase, so exactly had she expressed his own case. + +"Ah," he said, "the iron grating bars the path of the Church, too." + +And just what was the iron grating? + +They had many moments of intimacy during that fort night, though none in +which the plumb of their conversation descended to such a depth. For he +was, as she had said, always "putting her off." Was it because he +couldn't satisfy her craving? give her the solution for which--he began +to see--she thirsted? Why didn't that religion that she seemed outwardly +to profess and accept without qualification--the religion he taught set +her at rest? show her the path? + +Down in his heart he knew that he feared to ask. + + + +That Mrs. Larrabbee was still another revelation, that she was not at +rest, was gradually revealed to him as the days passed. Her spirit, too, +like his own, like 'Mrs Constable's, like Eldon Parr's, like Eleanor +Goodrich's, was divided against itself; and this phenomenon in Mrs. +Larrabbee was perhaps a greater shock to him, since he had always +regarded her as essentially in equilibrium. One of his reasons, indeed, +--in addition to the friendship that had grown up between them,--for +coming to visit her had been to gain the effect of her poise on his own. +Poise in a modern woman, leading a modern life. It was thus she +attracted him. It was not that he ignored her frivolous side; it was +nicely balanced by the other, and that other seemed growing. The social, +she accepted at what appeared to be its own worth. Unlike Mrs. Plimpton, +for instance, she was so innately a lady that she had met with no +resistance in the Eastern watering places, and her sense of values had +remained the truer for it. + +He did not admire her the less now he had discovered that the poise was +not so adjusted as he had thought it, but his feeling about her changed, +grew more personal, more complicated. She was showing an alarming +tendency to lean on him at a time when he was examining with some concern +his own supports. She possessed intelligence and fascination, she was a +woman whose attentions would have flattered and disturbed any man with a +spark of virility, and Hodder had constantly before his eyes the +spectacle of others paying her court. Here were danger-signals again! + +Mrs. Plaice, a middle-aged English lady staying in the house, never +appeared until noon. Breakfast was set out in the tiled and sheltered +loggia, where they were fanned by the cool airs of a softly breathing +ocean. The world, on these mornings, had a sparkling unreality, the +cold, cobalt sea stretching to sun-lit isles, and beyond, the vividly +painted shore,--the setting of luxury had never been so complete. And +the woman who sat opposite him seemed, like one of her own nectarines, +to be the fruit that crowned it all. + +Why not yield to the enchantment? Why rebel, when nobody else +complained? Were it not more simple to accept what life sent in its +orderly course instead of striving for an impossible and shadowy ideal? +Very shadowy indeed! And to what end were his labours in that smoky, +western city, with its heedless Dalton Streets, which went their +inevitable ways? For he had the choice. + +To do him justice, he was slow in arriving at a realization that seemed +to him so incredible, so preposterous. He was her rector! And he had +accepted, all unconsciously, the worldly point of view as to Mrs. +Larrabbee,--that she was reserved for a worldly match. A clergyman's +wife! What would become of the clergyman? And yet other clergymen had +married rich women, despite the warning of the needle's eye. + +She drove him in her buckboard to Jordan's Pond, set, like a jewel in the +hills, and even to the deep, cliff bordered inlet beyond North East, +which reminded her, she said, of a Norway fiord. And sometimes they +walked together through wooded paths that led them to beetling shores, +and sat listening to the waves crashing far below. Silences and +commonplaces became the rule instead of the eager discussions with which +they had begun,--on such safer topics as the problem of the social work +of modern churches. Her aromatic presence, and in this setting, +continually disturbed him: nature's perfumes, more definable,-- +exhalations of the sea and spruce,--mingled with hers, anaesthetics +compelling lethargy. He felt himself drowning, even wished to drown,-- +and yet strangely resisted. + +"I must go to-morrow," he said. + +"To-morrow--why? There is a dinner, you know, and Mrs. Waterman wished +so particularly to meet you." + +He did not look at her. The undisguised note of pain found an echo +within him. And this was Mrs. Larrabbee! + +"I am sorry, but I must," he told her, and she may not have suspected the +extent to which the firmness was feigned. + +"You have promised to make other visits? The Fergusons,--they said they +expected you." + +"I'm going west--home," he said, and the word sounded odd. + +"At this season! But there is nobody in church, at least only a few, +and Mr. McCrae can take care of those--he always does. He likes it." + +Hodder smiled in spite of himself. He might have told her that those +outside the church were troubling him. But he did not, since he had +small confidence in being able to bring them in. + +"I have been away too long, I am getting spoiled," he replied, with an +attempt at lightness. He forced his eyes to meet hers, and she read in +them an unalterable resolution. + +"It is my opinion you are too conscientious, even for a clergyman," she +said, and now it was her lightness that hurt. She protested no more. +And as she led the way homeward through the narrow forest path, her head +erect, still maintaining this lighter tone, he wondered how deeply she +had read him; how far her intuition had carried her below the surface; +whether she guessed the presence of that stifled thing in him which +was crying feebly for life; whether it was that she had discovered, +or something else? He must give it the chance it craved. He must get +away--he must think. To surrender now would mean destruction. . . + +Early the next morning, as he left the pier in the motor boat, he saw a +pink scarf waving high above him from the loggia. And he flung up his +hand in return. Mingled with a faint sense of freedom was intense +sadness. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +THE LINE OF LEAST RESISTANCE + +From the vantage point of his rooms in the parish house, Hodder reviewed +the situation. And despite the desires thronging after him in his flight +he had the feeling of once who, in the dark, has been very near to +annihilation. What had shaken him most was the revelation of an old +enemy which, watching its chance, had beset him at the first opportunity; +and at a time when the scheme of life, which he flattered himself to have +solved forever, was threatening once more to resolve itself into +fragments. He had, as if by a miracle, escaped destruction in some +insidious form. + +He shrank instinctively from an analysis of the woman in regard to +whom his feelings were, so complicated, and yet by no means lacking in +tenderness. But as time went on, he recognized more and more that she +had come into his life at a moment when he was peculiarly vulnerable. +She had taken him off his guard. That the brilliant Mrs. Larrabbee +should have desired him--or what she believed was him--was food enough +for thought, was an indication of an idealism in her nature that he would +not have suspected. From a worldly point of view, the marriage would +have commended itself to none of her friends. Yet Hodder perceived +clearly that he could not have given her what she desired, since the +marriage would have killed it in him. She offered him the other thing. +Once again he had managed somehow to cling to his dream of what the +relationship between man and woman should be, and he saw more and more +distinctly that he had coveted not only the jewel, but its setting. He +could not see her out of it--she faded. Nor could he see himself in it. + +Luxury,--of course,--that was what he had spurned. Luxury in contrast +to Dalton Street, to the whirring factories near the church which +discharged, at nightfall, their quotas of wan women and stunted children. +And yet here he was catering to luxury, providing religion for it! +Religion! + +Early in November he heard that Mrs. Larrabbee had suddenly decided to go +abroad without returning home. . . . + +That winter Hodder might have been likened to a Niagara for energy; an +unharnessed Niagara--such would have been his own comment. He seemed to +turn no wheels, or only a few at least, and feebly. And while the +spectacle of their rector's zeal was no doubt an edifying one to his +parishioners, they gave him to understand that they would have been +satisfied with less. They admired, but chided him gently; and in +February Mr. Parr offered to take him to Florida. He was tired, and it +was largely because he dreaded the reflection inevitable in a period of +rest, that he refused. . . . And throughout these months, the feeling +recurred, with increased strength, that McCrae was still watching him, +--the notion persisted that his assistant held to a theory of his own, +if he could but be induced to reveal it. Hodder refrained from making +the appeal. Sometimes he was on the point of losing patience with this +enigmatic person. + +Congratulations on the fact that his congregation was increasing brought +him little comfort, since a cold analysis of the newcomers who were +renting pews was in itself an indication of the lack of that thing he +so vainly sought. The decorous families who were now allying themselves +with St. John's did so at the expense of other churches either more +radical or less fashionable. What was it he sought? What did he wish? +To fill the church to overflowing with the poor and needy as well as the +rich, and to enter into the lives of all. Yet at a certain point he met +a resistance that was no less firm because it was baffling. The Word, on +his lips at least, seemed to have lost it efficacy. The poor heeded it +not, and he preached to the rich as from behind a glass. They went on +with their carnival. Why this insatiate ambition on his part in an age +of unbelief? Other clergymen, not half so fortunate, were apparently +satisfied; or else--from his conversation with them--either oddly +optimistic or resigned. Why not he? + +It was strange, in spite of everything, that hope sprang up within him, +a recurrent geyser. + +Gradually, almost imperceptibly, he found himself turning more and +more towards that line of least resistance which other churches were +following, as the one Modern Solution,--institutional work. After all, +in the rescuing of bodies some method might yet be discovered to revive +the souls. And there were the children! Hodder might have been likened +to an explorer, seeking a direct path when there was none--a royal road. +And if this were oblique it offered, at least, a definite outlet for his +energy. + +Such was, approximately, the state of his mind early in March when Gordon +Atterbury came back from a conference in New York on institutional work, +and filled with enthusiasm. St. John's was incredibly behind the times, +so he told Hodder, and later the vestry. Now that they had, in Mr. +Hodder, a man of action and ability--ahem! there was no excuse for a +parish as wealthy as St. John's, a parish with their opportunities, +considering the proximity of Dalton Street neighbourhood, not enlarging +and modernizing the parish house, not building a settlement house with +kindergartens, schools, workshops, libraries, a dispensary and day +nurseries. It would undoubtedly be an expense--and Mr. Atterbury looked +at Mr. Parr, who drummed on the vestry table. They would need extra +assistants, deaconesses, trained nurses, and all that. But there were +other churches in the city that were ahead of St. John's--a reproach-- +ahem! + +Mr. Parr replied that he had told the rector that he stood ready to +contribute to such a scheme when he, the rector; should be ready to +approve it. And he looked at Mr. Hodder. + +Mr. Hodder said he had been considering the matter ever since his +arrival. He had only one criticism of institutional work, that in his +observation it did not bring the people whom it reached into the Church +in any great numbers. Perhaps that were too much to ask, in these days. +For his part he would willingly assume the extra burden, and he was far +from denying the positive good such work accomplished through association +and by the raising of standards. + +Mr. Ferguson declared his readiness to help. Many of his salesgirls, he +said, lived in this part of the city, and he would be glad to do anything +in his power towards keeping them out of the dance-halls and such places. + +A committee was finally appointed consisting of Mr. Parr, Mr. Atterbury, +and the rector, to consult architects and to decide upon a site. + +Hodder began a correspondence with experts in other cities, +collected plans, pamphlets, statistics; spent hours with the great +child-specialist, Dr. Jarvis, and with certain clergymen who believed +in institutionalism as the hope of the future. + +But McCrae was provokingly non-committal. + +"Oh, they may try it," he assented somewhat grudgingly, one day when the +rector had laid out for his inspection the architects' sketch for the +settlement house. "No doubt it will help many poor bodies along." + +"Is there anything else?" the rector asked, looking searchingly at his +assistant. + +"It may as well be that," replied McCrae. + +The suspicion began to dawn on Hodder that the Scotch man's ideals were +as high as his own. Both of them, secretly, regarded the new scheme as a +compromise, a yielding to the inevitable . . . . + +Mr. Ferguson's remark that an enlarged parish house and a new settlement +house might help to keep some of the young women employed in his +department store out of the dance-halls interested Hodder, who conceived +the idea of a dance-hall of their own. For the rector, in the course of +his bachelor shopping, often resorted to the emporium of his vestryman, +to stand on the stairway which carried him upward without lifting his +feet, to roam, fascinated, through the mazes of its aisles, where he +invariably got lost, and was rescued by suave floor-walkers or pert young +women in black gowns and white collars and cuffs. But they were not all +pert--there were many characters, many types. And he often wondered +whether they did not get tired standing on their feet all day long, +hesitating to ask them; speculated on their lives--flung as most of them +were on a heedless city, and left to shift for themselves. Why was it +that the Church which cared for Mr. Ferguson's soul was unable to get +in touch with, or make an appeal to, those of his thousand employees? + +It might indeed have been said that Francis Ferguson cared for his own +soul, as he cared for the rest of his property, and kept it carefully +insured,--somewhat, perhaps, on the principle of Pascal's wager. That +he had been a benefactor to his city no one would deny who had seen the +facade that covered a whole block in the business district from Tower to +Vine, surmounted by a red standard with the familiar motto, "When in +doubt, go to Ferguson's." At Ferguson's you could buy anything from a +pen-wiper to a piano or a Paris gown; sit in a cool restaurant in summer +or in a palm garden in winter; leave your baby--if you had one--in charge +of the most capable trained nurses; if your taste were literary, mull +over the novels in the Book Department; if you were stout, you might be +reduced in the Hygiene Department, unknown to your husband and intimate +friends. In short, if there were any virtuous human wish in the power of +genius to gratify, Ferguson's was the place. They, even taught you how +to cook. It was a modern Aladdin's palace: and, like everything else +modern, much more wonderful than the original. And the soda might be +likened to the waters of Trevi,--to partake of which is to return. + +"When in doubt, go to Ferguson!" Thus Mrs. Larrabbee and other ladies +interested in good works had altered his motto. He was one of the +supporters of Galt House, into which some of his own young saleswomen had +occasionally strayed; and none, save Mr. Parr alone, had been so liberal +in his gifts. Holder invariably found it difficult to reconcile the +unassuming man, whose conversation was so commonplace, with the titanic +genius who had created Ferguson's; nor indeed with the owner of the +imposing marble mansion at Number 5, Park Street. + +The rector occasionally dined there. He had acquired a real affection +for Mrs. Ferguson, who resembled a burgomaster's wife in her evening +gowns and jewels, and whose simple social ambitions had been gratified +beyond her dreams. Her heart had not shrunken in the process, nor had +she forgotten her somewhat heterogeneous acquaintances in the southern +part of the city. And it was true that when Gertrude Constable had +nearly died of appendicitis, it was on this lady's broad bosom that Mrs. +Constable had wept. Mrs. Ferguson had haunted the house, regardless of +criticism, and actually quivering with sympathy. Her more important +dinner parties might have been likened to ill-matched fours-in-hand, and +Holder had sometimes felt more of pity than of amusement as she sat with +an expression of terror on her face, helplessly watching certain unruly +individuals taking their bits in their teeth and galloping madly +downhill. On one occasion, when he sat beside her, a young man, who +shall be nameless, was suddenly heard to remark in the midst of an +accidental lull: + +"I never go to church. What's the use? I'm afraid most of us don't +believe in hell any more." + +A silence followed: of the sort that chills. And the young man, glancing +down the long board at the clergyman, became as red as the carnation in +his buttonhole, and in his extremity gulped down more champagne. + +"Things are in a dreadful state nowadays!" Mrs. Ferguson gasped to +a paralyzed company, and turned an agonized face to Holder. "I'm so +sorry," she said, "I don't know why I asked him to-night, except that +I have to have a young man for Nan, and he's just come to the city, +and I was sorry for him. He's very promising in a business way; +he's in Mr. Plimpton's trust company." + +"Please don't let it trouble you." Holder turned and smiled a little, +and added whimsically: "We may as well face the truth." + +"Oh, I should expect you to be good about it, but it was unpardonable," +she cried . . . . + +In the intervals when he gained her attention he strove, by talking +lightly of other things, to take her mind off the incident, but somehow +it had left him strangely and--he felt--disproportionately depressed,-- +although he had believed himself capable of facing more or less +philosophically that condition which the speaker had so frankly +expressed. Yet the remark, somehow, had had an illuminating effect +like a flashlight, revealing to him the isolation of the Church as never +before. And after dinner, as they were going to the smoking-room, the +offender accosted him shamefacedly. + +"I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Holder," he stammered. + +That the tall rector's regard was kindly did not relieve his discomfort. +Hodder laid a hand on his shoulder. + +"Don't worry about it," he answered, "I have only one regret as to what +you said--that it is true." + +The other looked at him curiously. + +"It's mighty decent of you to take it this way," he laid. Further speech +failed him. + +He was a nice-looking young man, with firm white teeth, and honesty was +written all over his boyish face. And the palpable fact that his regret +was more on the clergyman's account than for the social faux pas drew +Holder the more, since it bespoke a genuineness of character. + +He did not see the yearning in the rector's eyes as he turned away. . . +Why was it they could not be standing side by side, fighting the same +fight? The Church had lost him, and thousands like him, and she needed +them; could not, indeed, do without them. + +Where, indeed, were the young men? They did not bother their heads about +spiritual matters any more. But were they not, he asked himself, franker +than many of these others, the so-called pillars of the spiritual +structure? + +Mr. Plimpton accosted him. "I congratulate you upon the new plans, Mr. +Hodder,--they're great," he said. "Mr. Parr and our host are coming down +handsomely, eh? When we get the new settlement house we'll have a plant +as up-to-date as any church in the country. When do you break ground?" + +"Not until autumn, I believe," Hodder replied. "There are a good many +details to decide upon yet." + +"Well, I congratulate you." + +Mr. Plimpton was forever congratulating. + +"Up-to-date"--"plant"! More illuminating words, eloquent of Mr. +Plimpton's ideals. St. John's down at the heels, to be brought up to the +state of efficiency of Mr. Plimpton's trust company! It was by no means +the first time he had heard modern attributes on Mr. Plimpton's lips +applied to a sacred institution, but to-night they had a profoundly +disquieting effect. To-night, a certain clairvoyance had been vouchsafed +him, and he beheld these men, his associates and supporters, with a +detachment never before achieved. + +They settled in groups about the room, which was square and high, and +panelled in Italian walnut, with fluted pilasters,--the capitals of which +were elaborately carved. And Hodder found himself on a deep leather sofa +in a corner engaged in a desultory and automatic conversation with +Everett Constable. Mr. Plimpton, with a large cigar between his lips, +was the radiating centre of one of the liveliest groups, and of him +the rector had fallen into a consideration, piecing together bits of +information that hitherto had floated meaninglessly in his mind. +It was Mrs. Larrabbee who had given character to the career of the still +comparatively youthful and unquestionably energetic president of the +Chamber of Commerce by likening it to a great spiral, starting somewhere +in outer regions of twilight, and gradually drawing nearer to the centre, +from which he had never taken his eyes. At the centre were Eldon Parr +and Charlotte Gore. Wallis Plimpton had made himself indispensable to +both. + +His campaign for the daughter of Thurston Gore had been comparable to one +of the great sieges of history, for Mr. Plimpton was a laughing-stock +when he sat down before that fortress. At the end of ten years, +Charlotte had capitulated, with a sigh of relief, realizing at last her +destiny. She had become slightly stout, revealing, as time went on, no +wrinkles--a proof that the union was founded on something more enduring +than poetry: Statesmanship--that was the secret! Step by step, slowly +but surely, the memoranda in that matrimonial portfolio were growing +into accomplished facts; all events, such as displacements of power, were +foreseen; and the Plimptons, like Bismarck, had only to indicate, in case +of sudden news, the pigeonhole where the plan of any particular campaign +was filed. + +Mrs. Larrabbee's temptation to be witty at the expense of those for whom +she had no liking had led Hodder to discount the sketch. He had not +disliked Mr. Plimpton, who had done him many little kindnesses. He was +good-natured, never ruffled, widely tolerant, hail-fellow-well-met with +everybody, and he had enlivened many a vestry meeting with his stories. +It were hypercritical to accuse him of a lack of originality. And if by +taking thought, he had arrived, from nowhere, at his present position of +ease and eminence, success had not turned to ashes in his mouth. He +fairly exhaled well-being, happiness, and good cheer. Life had gone well +with him, he wished the same to others. + +But to-night, from his corner, Hodder seemed to see Mr. Plimpton with new +eyes. Not that he stood revealed a villain, which he was far from being; +it was the air of sophistication, of good-natured if cynical acceptance +of things as they were--and plenty good enough, too!--that jarred upon +the rector in his new mood, and it was made manifest to him as never +before why his appeals from the pulpit had lacked efficacy. Mr. Plimpton +didn't want the world changed! And in this desire he represented the +men in that room, and the majority of the congregation of St. John's. +The rector had felt something of this before, and it seemed to him +astonishing that the revelation had not come to him sooner. Did any one +of them, in his heart, care anything for the ideals and aspirations of +the Church? + +As he gazed at them through the gathering smoke they had become +strangers, receded all at once to a great distance. . . . Across +the room he caught the name, Bedloe Hubbell, pronounced with peculiar +bitterness by Mr. Ferguson. At his side Everett Constable was alert, +listening. + +"Ten years ago," said a stout Mr. Varnum, the President of the Third +National Bank, "if you'd told me that that man was to become a demagogue +and a reformer, I wouldn't have believed you. Why, his company used to +take rebates from the L. & G., and the Southern--I know it." He +emphasized the statement with a blow on the table that made the liqueur +glasses dance. "And now, with his Municipal League, he's going to clean +up the city, is he? Put in a reform mayor. Show up what he calls the +Consolidated Tractions Company scandal. Pooh!" + +"You got out all right, Varnum. You won't be locked up," said Mr. +Plimpton, banteringly. + +"So did you," retorted Varnum. + +"So did Ferguson, so did Constable." + +"So did Eldon Parr," remarked another man, amidst a climax of laughter. + +"Langmaid handled that pretty well." + +Hodder felt Everett Constable fidget. + +"Bedloe's all right, but he's a dreamer," Mr. Plimpton volunteered. + +"Then I wish he'd stop dreaming," said Mr. Ferguson, and there was more +laughter, although he had spoken savagely. + +"That's what he is, a dreamer," Varnum ejaculated. "Say, he told George +Carter the other day that prostitution wasn't necessary, that in fifty +years we'd have largely done away with it. Think of that, and it's as +old as Sodom and Gomorrah!" + +"If Hubbell had his way, he'd make this town look like a Connecticut +hill village--he'd drive all the prosperity out of it. All the railroads +would have to abandon their terminals--there'd be no more traffic, and +you'd have to walk across the bridge to get a drink." + +"Well," said Mr. Plimpton, "Tom Beatty's good enough for me, for a +while." + +Beatty, Hodder knew, was the "boss," of the city, with headquarters in a +downtown saloon. + +"Beatty's been maligned," Mr. Varnum declared. "I don't say he's a +saint, but he's run the town pretty well, on the whole, and kept the vice +where it belongs, out of sight. He's made his pile, but he's entitled to +something we all are. You always know where you stand with Beatty. But +say, if Hubbell and his crowd--" + +"Don't worry about Bedloe,--he'll get called in, he'll come home to roost +like the rest of them," said Mr. Plimpton, cheerfully. "The people can't +govern themselves,--only Bedloe doesn't know it. Some day he'll find it +out." . . . + +The French window beside him was open, and Hodder slipped out, unnoticed, +into the warm night and stood staring at the darkness. His one desire +had been to get away, out of hearing, and he pressed forward over the +tiled pavement until he stumbled against a stone balustrade that guarded +a drop of five feet or so to the lawn below. At the same time he heard +his name called. + +"Is that you, Mr. Hodder?" + +He started. The voice had a wistful tremulousness, and might almost +have been the echo of the leaves stirring in the night air. Then he +perceived, in a shaft of light from one of the drawing-room windows near +by, a girl standing beside the balustrade; and as she came towards him, +with tentative steps, the light played conjurer, catching the silvery +gauze of her dress and striking an aura through the film of her hair. + +"It's Nan Ferguson," she said. + +"Of course," he exclaimed, collecting himself. "How stupid of me not to +have recognized you!" + +"I'm so glad you came out," she went on impulsively, yet shyly, "I wanted +to tell you how sorry I was that that thing happened at the table." + +"I like that young man," he said. + +"Do you?" she exclaimed, with unexpected gratitude. So do I. He really +isn't--so bad as he must seem." + +"I'm sure of it," said the rector, laughing. + +"I was afraid you'd think him wicked," said Nan. "He works awfully hard, +and he's sending a brother through college. He isn't a bit like--some +others I know. He wants to make something of himself. And I feel +responsible, because I had mother ask him to-night." + +He read her secret. No doubt she meant him to do so. + +"You know we're going away next week, for the summer--that is, mother and +I," she continued. "Father comes later. And I do hope you'll make us +a visit, Mr. Hodder--we were disappointed you couldn't come last year." +Nan hesitated, and thrusting her hand into her gown drew forth an +envelope and held it out to him. "I intended to give you this to-night, +to use--for anything you thought best." + +He took it gravely. She looked up at him. + +"It seems so little--such a selfish way of discharging one's obligations, +just to write out a cheque, when there is so much trouble in the world +that demands human kindness as well as material help. I drove up Dalton +Street yesterday, from downtown. You know how hot it was! And I +couldn't help thinking how terrible it is that we who have everything +are so heedless of all that misery. The thought of it took away all +my pleasure. + +"I'd do something more, something personal, if I could. Perhaps I shall +be able to, next winter. Why is it so difficult for all of us to know +what to do?" + +"We have taken a step forward, at any rate, when we know that it is +difficult," he said. + +She gazed up at him fixedly, her attention caught by an indefinable +something in his voice, in his smile, that thrilled and vaguely disturbed +her. She remembered it long afterwards. It suddenly made her shy again; +as if, in faring forth into the darkness, she had come to the threshold +of a mystery, of a revelation withheld; and it brought back the sense of +adventure, of the palpitating fear and daring with which she had come to +meet him. + +"It is something to know," she repeated, half comprehending. The +scraping of chairs within alarmed her, and she stood ready to fly. + +"But I haven't thanked you for this," he said, holding up the envelope. +"It may be that I shall find some one in Dalton Street--" + +"Oh, I hope so," she faltered, breathlessly, hesitating a moment. And +then she was gone, into the house. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + + +Bad music, she said, offended her +Can't believe in the doctrine of the virgin birth +Conviction that all things were as they ought to be +Faith may be likened to an egg +Foolish sacrifices are worse than useless +Futility of the traditional words of comfort +He was what is known as a "success"--always that magic word +I'm always searching for things to do +Individualism with which the Church can have no sympathy +Knowledge puts faith out of the question +Logical result of independent thinking is anarchy +Luxuries formerly unthought of seemed to become necessities +Material proof, it seems to me, is a denial of faith +Mistaking the effect for the cause +Only one regret as to what you said--that it is true +Rule which you so confidently apply to fit all cases +The law cannot fit all cases +Vagueness generally attributed to her sex +Vividly unreal, as a toy village comes painted from the shop +We are always trying to get away from ourselves +We never can foresee how we may change + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + +Volume 3. + +IX. THE DIVINE DISCONTENT +X. THE MESSENGER IN THE CHURCH +XI. THE LOST PARISHIONER +XII. THE WOMAN OF THE SONG + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +THE DIVINE DISCONTENT + +I + +It was the last Sunday in May, and in another week the annual flight to +the seashore and the mountains would have begun again. The breezes +stealing into the church through the open casements wafted hither and +thither the odours of the chancel flowers, and mingled with those fainter +and subtler perfumes set free by the rustling of summer gowns. + +As on this day he surveyed his decorous and fashionable congregation, +Hodder had something of that sense of extremity which the great apostle +to the Gentiles himself must have felt when he stood in the midst of the +Areopagus and made his vain yet sublime appeal to Athenian indifference +and luxury. "And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now +commandeth all men everywhere to repent." . . Some, indeed, stirred +uneasily as the rector paused, lowering their eyes before the intensity +of his glance, vaguely realizing that the man had flung the whole passion +of his being into the appeal. + +Heedlessness--that was God's accusation against them, against the age. +Materialism, individualism! So absorbed were they in the pursuit of +wealth, of distraction, so satisfied with the current philosophy, so +intent on surrounding themselves with beautiful things and thus shutting +out the sterner view, that they had grown heedless of the divine message. +How few of them availed themselves of their spiritual birthright to renew +their lives at the altar rail! And they had permitted their own children +to wander away . . . . Repent! + +There was a note of desperation in his appeal, like that of the hermit +who stands on a mountain crag and warns the gay and thoughtless of the +valley of the coming avalanche. Had they heard him at last? There were +a few moments of tense silence, during which he stood gazing at them. +Then he raised his arm in benediction, gathered up his surplice, +descended the pulpit steps, and crossed swiftly the chancel . . . . + +He had, as it were, turned on all the power in a supreme effort to reach +them. What if he had failed again? Such was the misgiving that beset +him, after the service, as he got out of his surplice, communicated by +some occult telepathy . . . . Mr. Parr was awaiting him, and +summoning his courage, hope battling against intuition, he opened the +door into the now empty church and made his way toward the porch, where +the sound of voices warned him that several persons were lingering. The +nature of their congratulations confirmed his doubts. Mrs. Plimpton, +resplendent and looking less robust than usual in one of her summer Paris +gowns, greeted him effusively. + +"Oh, Mr. Hodder, what a wonderful sermon!" she cried. "I can't express +how it made me feel--so delinquent! Of course that is exactly the effect +you wished. And I was just telling Wallis I was so glad I waited until +Tuesday to go East, or I should have missed it. You surely must come on +to Hampton and visit us, and preach it over again in our little stone +church there, by the sea. Good-by and don't forget! I'll write you, +setting the date, only we'd be glad to have you any time." + +"One of the finest I ever heard--if not the finest," Mr. Plimpton +declared, with a kind of serious 'empressement', squeezing his hand. + +Others stopped him; Everett Constable, for one, and the austere Mrs. +Atterbury. Hodder would have avoided the ever familiar figure of her +son, Gordon, in the invariable black cutaway and checked trousers, +but he was standing beside Mr. Parr. + +"Ahem! Why, Mr. Hodder," he exclaimed, squinting off his glasses, +"that was a magnificent effort. I was saying to Mr. Parr that it isn't +often one hears a sermon nowadays as able as that, and as sound. Many +clergymen refrain from preaching them, I sometimes think, because they +are afraid people won't like them." + +"I scarcely think it's that," the rector replied, a little shortly. +"We're afraid people won't heed them." + +He became aware, as he spoke, of a tall young woman, who had cast an +enigmatic glance first at Gordon Atterbury, and then at himself. + +"It was a good sermon," said Mr. Parr. "You're coming to lunch, Hodder?" + +The rector nodded. "I'm ready when you are," he answered. + +"The motor's waiting," said the banker, leading the way down the steps to +the sidewalk, where he turned. "Alison, let me introduce Mr. Hodder. +This is my daughter," he added simply. + +This sudden disclosure of the young woman's identity had upon Hodder a +certain electric effect, and with it came a realization of the extent to +which--from behind the scenes, so to speak--she had gradually aroused him +to a lively speculation. She seemed to have influenced, to a greater or +less degree, so many lives with which he had come into touch! Compelled +persons to make up their minds about her! And while he sympathized +with Eldon Parr in his abandonment, he had never achieved the full +condemnation which he felt--an impartial Christian morality would have +meted out. + +As he uttered the conventional phrase and took her hand, he asked himself +whether her personality justified his interest. Her glance at Gordon +Atterbury in the midst of that gentleman's felicitations on the sermon +had been expressive, Hodder thought, of veiled amusement slightly +tinctured with contempt; and he, Hodder, felt himself to have grown warm +over it. He could not be sure that Alison Parr had not included, in her +inner comment, the sermon likewise, on which he had so spent himself. +What was she doing at church? As her eyes met his own, he seemed to +read a challenge. He had never encountered a woman--he decided--who +so successfully concealed her thought, and at the same time so incited +curiosity about it. + +The effect of her reappearance on Gordon Atterbury was painfully +apparent, and Mrs. Larrabbee's remark, "that he had never got over it," +recurred to Hodder. He possessed the virtue of being faithful, at least, +in spite of the lady's apostasy, and he seemed to be galvanized into a +tenfold nervousness as he hustled after them and handed her, with the +elaborate attention little men are apt to bestow upon women, into the +motor. + +"Er--how long shall you be here, Alison?" he asked. "I don't know," she +answered, not unkindly, but with a touch of indifference. + +"You treat us shamefully," he informed her, "upon my word! But I'm +coming to call." + +"Do," said Alison. Hodder caught her eye again, and this time he was +sure that she surprised in him a certain disdain of Mr. Atterbury's zeal. +Her smile was faint, yet unmistakable. + +He resented it. Indeed, it was with a well-defined feeling of antagonism +that he took his seat, and this was enhanced as they flew westward, Mr. +Parr wholly absorbed with the speaking trumpet, energetically rebuking at +every bounce. In the back of the rector's mind lay a weight, which he +identified, at intervals, with what he was now convinced was the failure +of his sermon. . . Alison took no part in the casual conversation that +began when they reached the boulevard and Mr. Parr abandoned the trumpet, +but lay back in silence and apparently with entire comfort in a corner of +the limousine. + +At the lunch-table Mr. Parr plunged into a discussion of some of the +still undecided details of the new settlement house, in which, as the +plan developed, he had become more and more interested. He had made +himself responsible, from time to time, for additional sums, until the +original estimate had been almost doubled. Most of his suggestions had +come from Hodder, who had mastered the subject with a thoroughness that +appealed to the financier: and he had gradually accepted the rector's +idea of concentrating on the children. Thus he had purchased an +adjoining piece of land that was to be a model playground, in connection +with the gymnasium and swimming-pool. The hygienic department was to be +all that modern science could desire. + +"If we are going to do the thing," the banker would, remark, "we may as +well do it thoroughly; we may as well be leaders and not followers." + +So, little by little, the scheme had grown to proportions that sometimes +appalled the rector when he realized how largely he had been responsible +for the additions,--in spite of the lukewarmness with which he had begun. +And yet it had occasionally been Mr. Parr who, with a sweep of his hand, +had added thousands to a particular feature: thus the dance-hall had +become, in prospect, a huge sun-parlour at the top of the building, where +the children were to have their kindergartens and games in winter; and +which might be shaded and opened up to the breezes in summer. What had +reconciled Hodder to the enterprise most of all, however, was the chapel +--in the plan a beautiful Gothic church--whereby he hoped to make the +religious progress keep pace with the social. Mr. Parr was decidedly in +sympathy with this intention, and referred to it now. + +"I was much impressed by what you said in your sermon to-day as to the +need of insisting upon authority in religious matters," he declared, "and +I quite agree that we should have a chapel of some size at the settlement +house for that reason. Those people need spiritual control. It's what +the age needs. And when I think of some of the sermons printed in the +newspapers to-day, and which are served up as Christianity, there is only +one term to apply to them--they are criminally incendiary." + +"But isn't true Christianity incendiary, in your meaning of the word?" + +It was Alison who spoke, in a quiet and musical voice that was in +striking contrast to the tone of Mr. Parr, which the rector had thought +unusually emphatic. It was the first time she had shown an inclination +to contribute to the talk. But since Hodder had sat down at the table +her presence had disturbed him, and he had never been wholly free from an +uncomfortable sense that he was being measured and weighed. + +Once or twice he had stolen a glance at her as she sat, perfectly at +ease, and asked himself whether she had beauty, and it dawned upon him +little by little that the very proportion she possessed made for physical +unobtrusiveness. She was really very tall for a woman. At first he +would have said her nose was straight, when he perceived that it had a +delicate hidden curve; her eyes were curiously set, her dark hair parted +in the middle, brought down low on each side of the forehead and tied in +a Grecian knot. Thus, in truth, he observed, were seemingly all the +elements of the classic, even to the firm yet slender column of the neck. +How had it eluded him? + +Her remark, if it astonished Hodder, had a dynamic effect on Eldon Parr. +And suddenly the rector comprehended that the banker had not so much been +talking to him as through him; had been, as it were, courting opposition. + +"What do you mean by Christianity being incendiary?" he demanded. + +"Incendiary, from your point of view--I made, the qualification," +Alison replied, apparently unmoved by his obvious irritation. "I don't +pretend to be a Christian, as you know, but if there is one element +in Christianity that distinguishes it, it is the brotherhood of man. +That's pure nitroglycerin, though it's been mixed with so much sawdust. +Incendiary is a mild epithet. I never read the sermons you refer to; +I dare say they're crude, but they're probably attempts to release an +explosive which would blow your comfortable social system and its +authority into atoms." + +Hodder, who had listened in amazement, glanced at the banker. He had +never before heard him opposed, or seen him really angry. + +"I've heard that doctrine," cried Mr. Parr. "Those who are dissatisfied +with things as they are because they have been too stupid or too weak +or self-indulgent to rise, find it easy to twist the principles of +Christianity into revolutionary propaganda. It's a case of the devil +quoting Scripture. The brotherhood of man! There has never been an age +when philanthropy and organized charity were on such a scale as to-day." + +A certain gallant, indomitable ring crept into Alison's voice; she did +not seem in the least dismayed or overborne. + +"But isn't that just where most so-called Christians make their mistake?" +she asked. "Philanthropy and organized charity, as they exist to-day, +have very little to do with the brotherhood of man. Mightn't it be you +who are fooling yourselves instead of the incendiaries fooling themselves +So long as you can make yourselves believe that this kind of charity is +a logical carrying out of the Christian principles, so long are your +consciences satisfied with the social system which your class, very +naturally, finds so comfortable and edifying. The weak and idiotic ought +to be absurdly grateful for what is flung to them, and heaven is gained +in the throwing. In this way the rich inevitably become the elect, both +here and hereafter, and the needle's eye is widened into a gap." + +There was on Mr. Parr's lips a smile not wholly pleasant to see. Indeed, +in the last few minutes there had been revealed to Hodder a side of the +banker's character which had escaped him in the two years of their +acquaintance. + +"I suppose," said Mr. Parr, slowly, drumming on the table, "you would say +that of the new settlement house of St. John's, whereby we hope to raise +a whole neighbourhood." + +"Yes, I should," replied Alison, with spirit. "The social system by +which you thrive, and which politically and financially you strive to +maintain, is diametrically opposed to your creed, which is supposed to be +the brotherhood of man. But if that were really your creed, you would +work for it politically and financially. You would see that your Church +is trying to do infinitesimally what the government, but for your +opposition, might do universally. Your true creed is the survival of the +fittest. You grind these people down into what is really an economic +slavery and dependence, and then you insult and degrade them by inviting +them to exercise and read books and sing hymns in your settlement house, +and give their children crackers and milk and kindergartens and sunlight! +I don't blame them for not becoming Christians on that basis. Why, the +very day I left New York a man over eighty, who had been swindled out +of all he had, rather than go to one of those Christian institutions +deliberately forged a check and demanded to be sent to the penitentiary. +He said he could live and die there with some self-respect." + +"I might have anticipated that you would ultimately become a Socialist, +Alison," Mr. Parr remarked--but his voice trembled. + +"I don't know whether I'm a Socialist or an Anarchist," she answered. +Hodder thought be detected a note of hopelessness in her voice, and the +spirit in it ebbed a little. Not only did she seem indifferent to her +father's feeling--which incidentally added fuel to it--but her splendid +disregard of him, as a clergyman, had made an oddly powerful appeal. +And her argument! His feelings, as he listened to this tremendous +arraignment of Eldon Parr by his daughter, are not easily to be +described. To say that she had compelled him, the rector of St. John's, +at last to look in the face many conditions which be had refused to +recognize would be too definite a statement. Nevertheless, some such +thing had occurred. Refutations sprang to his lips, and died there, +though he had no notion of uttering them. He saw that to admit her +contentions would be to behold crumble into ruins the structure that +he had spent a life in rearing; and yet something within him responded +to her words--they had the passionate, convincing ring of truth. + +By no means the least of their disturbing effects was due to the fact +that they came as a climax to, as a fulfilment of the revelation he had +had at the Fergusons', when something of the true nature of Mr. Plimpton +and others of his congregation had suddenly been laid bare. And now +Hodder looked at Eldon Parr to behold another man from the one he had +known, and in that moment realized that their relationship could never +again be the same. . . Were his sympathies with the daughter? + +"I don't know what I believe," said Alison, after a pause. "I've ceased +trying to find out. What's the use!" She appeared now to be addressing +no one in particular. + +A servant entered with a card, and the banker's hand shook perceptibly +as he put down his claret and adjusted his glasses. + +"Show him into my office upstairs, and tell him I'll see him at once," he +said, and glanced at the rector. But it was Alison whom he addressed. +"I must leave Mr. Hodder to answer your arguments," he added, with an +attempt at lightness; and then to the rector: "Perhaps you can convince +her that the Church is more sinned against than sinning, and that +Christians are not such terrible monsters after all. You'll excuse me?" + +"Certainly." Hodder had risen. + + + +II + +"Shall we have coffee in the garden?" Alison asked. "It's much nicer +outside this time of year." + +For an instant he was at a loss to decide whether to accede, or to make +an excuse and leave the house. Wisdom seemed to point to flight. But +when he glanced at her he saw to his surprise that the mood of +abstraction into which she had fallen still held her; that the discussion +which had aroused Eldon Parr to such dramatic anger had left her serious +and thoughtful. She betrayed no sense of triumph at having audaciously +and successfully combated him, and she appeared now only partially to be +aware of Hodder's presence. His interest, his curiosity mounted suddenly +again, overwhelming once more the antagonism which he had felt come and +go in waves; and once more his attempted classification of her was swept +away. She had relapsed into an enigma. + +"I like the open air," he answered, "and I have always wished to see the +garden. I have admired it from the windows." + +"It's been on my mind for some years," she replied, as she led the way +down a flight of steps into the vine-covered pergola. "And I intend to +change parts of it while I am out here. It was one of my first attempts, +and I've learned more since." + +"You must forgive my ignorant praise," he said, and smiled. "I have +always thought it beautiful: But I can understand that an artist is never +satisfied." + +She turned to him, and suddenly their eyes met and held in a momentary, +electric intensity that left him warm and agitated. There was nothing +coquettish in the glance, but it was the first distinct manifestation +that he was of consequence. She returned his smile, without levity. + +"Is a clergyman ever satisfied?" she asked. + +"He ought not to be," replied Hodder, wondering whether she had read him. + +"Although you were so considerate, I suppose you must have thought it +presumptuous of me to criticize your, profession, which is religion." + +"Religion, I think, should be everybody's," he answered quietly. + +She made no reply. And he entered, as into another world, the circular +arbour in which the pergola ended, so complete in contrast was its +atmosphere to that of the house. The mansion he had long since grown to +recognize as an expression of the personality of its owner, but this +classic bower was as remote from it as though it were in Greece. He was +sensitive to beauty, yet the beauty of the place had a perplexing +quality, which he felt in the perfect curves of the marble bench, in the +marble basin brimming to the tip with clear water,--the surface of which, +flecked with pink petals, mirrored the azure sky through the leafy +network of the roof. In one green recess a slender Mercury hastily +adjusted his sandal. + +Was this, her art, the true expression of her baffling personality? As +she had leaned back in the corner of the automobile she had given him the +impression of a languor almost Oriental, but this had been startlingly +dispelled at the lunch-table by the revelation of an animation and a +vitality which had magically transformed her. But now, as under the +spell of a new encompassment of her own weaving, she seemed to revert to +her former self, sinking, relaxed, into a wicker lounge beside the basin, +one long and shapely hand in the water, the other idle in her lap. Her +eyes, he remarked, were the contradiction in her face. Had they been +larger, and almond-shaped, the illusion might have been complete. They +were neither opaque nor smouldering,--but Western eyes, amber-coloured, +with delicately stencilled rays and long lashes. And as they gazed up at +him now they seemed to reflect, without disclosing the flitting thoughts +behind them. He felt antagonism and attraction in almost equal degree-- +the situation transcended his experience. + +"You don't intend to change this?" he asked, with an expressive sweep of +his hand. + +"No," she said, "I've always liked it. Tell me what you feel about it." + +He hesitated. + +"You resent it," she declared. + +"Why do you say that?" he demanded quickly. + +"I feel it," she answered calmly, but with a smile. + +"'Resent' would scarcely be the proper word," he contended, returning her +smile, yet hesitating again. + +"You think it pagan," she told him. + +"Perhaps I do," he answered simply, as though impressed by her felicitous +discovery of the adjective. + +Alison laughed. + +"It's pagan because I'm pagan, I suppose." + +"It's very beautiful--you have managed to get an extraordinary +atmosphere," he continued, bent on doing himself an exact justice. But +I should say, if you pressed me, that it represents to me the deification +of beauty to the exclusion of all else. You have made beauty the Alpha +and Omega." + +"There is nothing else for me," she said. + +The coffee-tray arrived and was deposited on a wicker table beside her. +She raised herself on an elbow, filled his cup and handed it to him. + +"And yet," he persisted, "from the manner in which you spoke at the +table--" + +"Oh, don't imagine I haven't thought? But thinking isn't--believing." + +"No," he admitted, with a touch of sadness, "you are right. There were +certain comments you made on the Christian religion--" + +She interrupted him again. + +"As to the political side of it, which is Socialism, so far as I can +see. If there is any other side, I have never been able to discover it. +It seems to me that if Christians were logical, they should be +Socialists. The brotherhood of man, cooperation--all that is Socialism, +isn't it? It's opposed to the principle of the survival of the fittest, +which so many of these so-called Christians practise. I used to think, +when I came back from Paris, that I was a Socialist, and I went to a lot +of their meetings in New York, and to lectures. But after a while I saw +there was something in Socialism that didn't appeal to me, something +smothering,--a forced cooperation that did not leave one free. I wanted +to be free, I've been striving all my life to be free," she exclaimed +passionately, and was silent an instant, inspecting him. "Perhaps I owe +you an apology for speaking as I did before a clergyman--especially +before an honest one." + +He passed over the qualification with a characteristic smile. + +"Oh, if we are going to shut our ears to criticism we'd better give up +being clergymen," he answered. "I'm afraid there is a great deal of +truth in what you said." + +"That's generous of you!" she exclaimed, and thrilled him with the +tribute. Nor was the tribute wholly in the words: there had come +spontaneously into her voice an exquisite, modulated note that haunted +him long after it had died away . . . . + +"I had to say what I thought," she continued earnestly; "I stood it as +long as I could. Perhaps you didn't realize it, but my father was +striking at me when he referred to your sermon, and spiritual control-- +and in other things he said when you were talking about the settlement- +house. He reserves for himself the right to do as he pleases, but +insists that those who surround him shall adopt the subserviency which he +thinks proper for the rest of the world. If he were a Christian himself, +I shouldn't mind it so much." + +Hodder was silent. The thought struck him with the force of a great +wind. + +"He's a Pharisee," Alison went on, following the train of her thought. +"I remember the first time I discovered that--it was when I was reading +the New Testament carefully, in the hope of finding something in +Christianity I might take hold of. And I was impressed particularly by +the scorn with which Christ treated the Pharisees. My father, too, if he +had lived in those days, would have thought Christ a seditious person, an +impractical, fanatical idealist, and would have tried to trip him up with +literal questions concerning the law. His real and primary interest--is +in a social system that benefits himself and his kind, and because this +is so, he, and men like him, would have it appear that Christianity is +on the side of what they term law and order. I do not say that they are +hypocritical, that they reason this out. They are elemental; and they +feel intuitively that Christianity contains a vital spark which, if +allowed to fly, would start a conflagration beyond their control. The +theologians have helped them to cover the spark with ashes, and naturally +they won't allow the ashes to be touched, if they can help it." + +She lay very still. + +The rector had listened to her, at first with amazement, then with more +complicated sensations as she thus dispassionately discussed the foremost +member of his congregation and the first layman of the diocese, who was +incidentally her own father. In her masterly analysis of Eldon Parr, she +had brought Hodder face to face with the naked truth, and compelled him +to recognize it. How could he attempt to refute it, with honesty? + +He remembered Mr. Parr's criticism of Alison. There had been hardness in +that, though it were the cry of a lacerated paternal affection. In that, +too, a lack of comprehension, an impotent anger at a visitation not +understood, a punishment apparently unmerited. Hodder had pitied him +then--he still pitied him. In the daughter's voice was no trace of +resentment. No one, seemingly, could be farther removed from him (the +rector of St. John's) in her opinions and views of life, than Allison +Parr; and yet he felt in her an undercurrent, deep and strong, which +moved him strangely, strongly, irresistibly; he recognized a passionate +desire for the truth, and the courage to face it at any cost, and a +capacity for tenderness, revealed in flashes. + +"I have hurt you," she exclaimed. "I am sorry." + +He collected himself. + +"It is not you who have hurt me," he replied. "Reflections on the +contradictions and imperfections of life are always painful. And since +I have been here, I have seen a great deal of your father." + +"You are fond of him!" + +He hesitated. It was not an ordinary conversation they were dealing with +realities, and he had a sense that vital issues were at stake. He had, +in that moment, to make a revaluation of his sentiments for the +financier--to weigh the effect of her indictment. + +"Yes," he answered slowly, "I am fond of him. He has shown me a side of +himself, perhaps, that other men have not seen,--and he is very lonely." + +"You pity him." He started at her word. "I guessed that from an +expression that crossed your face when we were at the table. But surely +you must have observed the incongruity of his relationship with your +Church! Surely, in preaching as you did this morning against +materialism, individualism, absorption in the pursuit of wealth, you must +have had my father in mind as the supreme example! And yet he listened +to you as serenely as though he had never practised any of these things! + +"Clergymen wonder why Christianity doesn't make more progress to-day; +well, what strikes the impartial observer who thinks about the subject at +all, as one reason, is the paralyzing inconsistency of an alliance +between those who preach the brotherhood of man and those who are opposed +to it. I've often wondered what clergymen would say about it, if they +were frank--only I never see any clergymen." + +He was strongly agitated. He did not stop--strangely enough--to reflect +how far they had gone, to demand by what right she brought him to the +bar, challenged the consistency of his life. For she had struck, with a +ruthless precision, at the very core of his trouble, revealed it for what +it was. + +"Yes," he said, "I can see how we may be accused of inconsistency, and +with much justice." + +His refusal to excuse and vindicate himself impressed her as no attempt +at extenuation could have done. Perhaps, in that moment, her quick +instinct divined something of his case, something of the mental suffering +he strove to conceal. Contrition shone in her eyes. + +"I ought not to have said that," she exclaimed gently. "It is so easy +for outsiders to criticize those who are sincere--and I am sure you are. +We cannot know all the perplexities. But when we look at the Church, we +are puzzled by that--which I have mentioned--and by other things." + +"What other things?" he demanded. + +She hesitated in her turn. + +"I suppose you think it odd, my having gone to church, feeling as I do," +she said. "But St. John's is now the only place vividly associated with +my mother. She was never at home here, in this house. I always go at +least once when I am out here. And I listened to your sermon intently." + +"Yes." + +"I wanted to tell you this: you interested me as I had not been +interested since I was twenty, when I made a desperate attempt to become +a Christian--and failed. Do you know how you struck me? It was as a man +who actually had a great truth which he was desperately trying to impart, +and could not. I have not been in a church more than a dozen times in +the last eight years, but you impressed me as a man who felt something +--whatever it is." + +He did not speak. + +"But why," she cried, "do you insist on what you cell authority? As a +modern woman who has learned to use her own mind, I simply can't believe, +if the God of the universe is the moral God you assert him to be, that he +has established on earth an agency of the kind you infer, and delegated +to it the power of life and death over human souls. Perhaps you do not +go so far, but if you make the claim at all you must make it in its +entirety. There is an idea of commercialism, of monopoly in that +conception which is utterly repugnant to any one who tries to approach +the subject with a fresh mind, and from an ideal point of view. And +religion must be idealism--mustn't it? + +"Your ancient monks and saints weren't satisfied until they had +settled every detail of the invisible world, of the past and future. +They mapped it out as if it were a region they had actually explored, +like geographers. They used their reason, and what science they had, to +make theories about it which the churches still proclaim as the catholic +and final truth. You forbid us to use our reason. You declare, in order +to become Christians, that we have to accept authoritative statements. +Oh, can't you see that an authoritative statement is just what an +ethical person doesn't want? Belief--faith doesn't consist in the mere +acceptance of a statement, but in something much higher--if we can +achieve it. Acceptance of authority is not faith, it is mere credulity, +it is to shirk the real issue. We must believe, if we believe at all, +without authority. If we knew, there would be no virtue in striving. +If I choose a God," she added, after a pause, "I cannot take a consensus +of opinion about him,--he must be my God." + +Hodder did not speak immediately. Strange as it may seem, he had +never heard the argument, and the strength of it, reenforced by the +extraordinary vitality and earnestness of the woman who had uttered it, +had a momentary stunning effect. He sat contemplating her as she lay +back among the cushions, and suddenly he seemed to see in her the +rebellious child of which her father had spoken. No wonder Eldon Parr +had misunderstood her, had sought to crush her spirit! She was to be +dealt with in no common way, nor was the consuming yearning he discerned +in her to be lightly satisfied. + +"The God of the individualist," he said at length--musingly, not +accusingly. + +"I am an individualist," she admitted simply. "But I am at least logical +in that philosophy, and the individualists who attend the churches to-day +are not. The inconsistency of their lives is what makes those of us who +do not go to church doubt the efficacy of their creed, which seems to +have no power to change them. The majority of people in St. John's are +no more Christians than I am. They attend service once a week, and the +rest of the time they are bent upon getting all they can of pleasure +and profit for themselves. Do you wonder that those who consider this +spectacle come inevitably to the conclusion that either Christianity +is at fault, is outworn, or else that it is presented in the wrong way?" + +The rector rose abruptly, walked to the entrance of the arbour, and stood +staring out across the garden. Presently he turned and came back and +stood over her. + +"Since you ask me," he said slowly, "I do not wonder at it." + +She raised her eyes swiftly. + +"When you speak like that," she exclaimed with an enthusiasm that +stirred him, despite the trouble of his mind, "I cannot think of you as +a clergyman,--but as a man. Indeed," she added, in the surprise of her +discovery, "I have never thought of you as a clergyman--even when I first +saw you this morning. I could not account then for a sense of duality +about you that puzzled me. Do you always preach as earnestly as that?" + +"Why?" + +"I felt as if you were throwing your whole soul into the effort-=oh, +I felt it distinctly. You made some of them, temporarily, a little +uncomfortable, but they do not understand you, and you didn't change +them. It seemed to me you realized this when Gordon Atterbury spoke to +you. I tried to analyze the effect on myself--if it had been in the +slightest degree possible for my reason to accept what you said you +might, through sheer personality, have compelled me to reconsider. +As it was, I found myself resisting you." + +With his hands clasped behind him, he paced across the arbour and back +again. + +"Have you ever definitely and sincerely tried to put what the Church +teaches into practice?" he asked. + +"Orthodox Christianity? penance, asceticism, self-abnegation--repression +--falling on my knees and seeking a forgiveness out of all proportion to +the trespass, and filled with a sense of total depravity? If I did that +I should lose myself--the only valuable thing I've got." + +Hodder, who had resumed his pacing, glanced at her involuntarily, and +fought an inclination to agree with her. + +"I see no one upon whom I can rely but myself," she went on with the +extraordinary energy she was able to summon at will, "and I am convinced +that self-sacrifice--at least, indiscriminate, unreasoning self- +sacrifice--is worse than useless, and to teach it is criminal ignorance. +None of the so-called Christian virtues appeals to me: I hate humility. +You haven't it. The only happiness I can see in the world lies in self- +expression, and I certainly shouldn't find that in sewing garments for +the poor. + +"The last thing that I could wish for would be immortality as orthodox +Christianity depicts it! And suppose I had followed the advice of my +Christian friends and remained here, where they insisted my duty was, +what would have happened to me? In a senseless self-denial I should +gradually have, withered into a meaningless old maid, with no opinions +of my own, and no more definite purpose in life than to write checks for +charities. Your Christianity commands that women shall stay at home, and +declares that they are not entitled to seek their own salvation, to have +any place in affairs, or to meddle with the realm of the intellect. +Those forbidden gardens are reserved for the lordly sex. St. Paul, you +say, put us in our proper place some twenty centuries ago, and we are to +remain there for all time." + +He felt sweeping through him the reverse current of hostility. + +"And what I preach," he asked, "has tended to confirm you in such a mean +conception of Christianity?" + +Her eye travelled over the six feet of him--the kindling, reflecting eye +of the artist; it rested for a moment on the protesting locks of his +hair, which apparently could not be cut short enough to conform; on the +hands, which were strong and sinewy; on the wide, tolerant mouth, with +its rugged furrows, on the breadth and height of the forehead. She lay +for a moment, inert, considering. + +"What you preach--yes," she answered, bravely meeting his look. "What +you are--no. You and your religion are as far apart as the poles. Oh, +this old argument, the belief that has been handed down to the man, the +authority with which he is clothed, and not the man himself! How can one +be a factor in life unless one represents something which is the fruit of +actual, personal experience? Your authority is for the weak, the timid, +the credulous,--for those who do not care to trust themselves, who run +for shelter from the storms of life to a 'papier-mache' fortress, made to +look like rock. In order to preach that logically you should be a white +ascetic, with a well-oiled manner, a downcast look lest you stumble in +your pride; lest by chance you might do something original that sprang +out of your own soul instead of being an imitation of the saints. And if +your congregation took your doctrine literally, I can see a whole army of +white, meek Christians. But you are not like that. Can't you see it for +yourself?" she exclaimed. + +"Can't you feel that you are an individual, a personality, a force that +might be put to great uses? That will be because you are open-minded, +because there is room in you for growth and change?" + +He strove with all his might to quell the inner conflagration which she +had fanned into leaping flames. Though he had listened before to doubt +and criticism, this woman, with her strange shifting moods of calm and +passion, with her bewildering faculty of changing from passive to active +resistance, her beauty (once manifest, never to be forgotten), her unique +individuality that now attracted, now repelled, seemed for the moment the +very incarnation of the forces opposed to him and his religion. Holder, +as he looked at her, had a flash of fierce resentment that now, of all +times, she should suddenly have flung herself across his path. For she +was to be reckoned with. Why did he not tell her she was an egoist? Why +didn't he speak out, defend his faith, denounce her views as prejudiced +and false? + +"Have I made you angry?" he heard her say. "I am sorry." + +It was the hint of reproach in her tone to which the man in him instantly +responded. And what he saw now was his portrait she had painted. The +thought came to him: was he indeed greater, more vital than the religion +he professed? God forbid! Did he ring true, and it false? + +She returned his gaze. And gradually, under her clear olive skin, he saw +the crimson colour mounting higher . . . . She put forth her hand, +simply, naturally, and pressed his own, as though they had been friends +for a lifetime . . . . + + + + +CHAPTER X + +THE MESSENGER IN THE CHURCH + + +I + +The annual scourge of summer had descended pitilessly upon the city once +more, enervating, depressing, stagnating, and people moved languidly in +the penetrating heat that steamed from the pores of the surrounding river +bottoms. + +The rector of St. John's realized that a crisis had come in his life,-- +a crisis he had tried to stave off in vain. And yet there was a period +during which he pursued his shrunken duties as though nothing had +happened to him; as a man who has been struck in battle keeps on, loath +to examine, to acknowledge the gravity of his wound; fearing to, perhaps. +Sometimes, as his mind went back to the merciless conflict of his past, +his experience at the law school, it was the unchaining of that other man +he dreaded, the man he believed himself to have finally subdued. But +night and day he was haunted by the sorrowful and reproachful face of +Truth. + +Had he the courage, now, to submit the beliefs which had sustained him +all these years to Truth's inexorable inspection? Did he dare to turn +and open those books which she had inspired,--the new philosophies, the +historical criticisms which he had neglected and condemned, which he had +flattered himself he could do without,--and read of the fruit of +Knowledge? Twice, thrice he had hesitated on the steps of the big +library, and turned away with a wildly beating heart. + +Day by day the storm increased, until from a cloud on the horizon it +grew into a soul-shaking tempest. Profoundly moved Parr's he had been on +that Sunday afternoon, in Eldon Parr's garden, he had resolutely resolved +to thrust the woman and the incident from his mind, to defer the +consideration of the questions she had raised--grave though they were--to +a calmer period. For now he was unable to separate her, to eliminate the +emotion--he was forced to acknowledge--the thought of her aroused, from +the problems themselves. Who was she? At moments he seemed to see her +shining, accusing, as Truth herself, and again as a Circe who had drawn +him by subtle arts from his wanderings, luring him to his death; or, at +other times, as the mutinous daughter of revolt. But when he felt, in +memory, the warm touch of her hand, the old wildness of his nature +responded, he ceased to speculate or care, and he longed only to crush +and subdue her by the brute power of the man in him. For good or bad, +she had woven her spell. + +Here was the old, elemental, twofold contest, carnal and spiritual, +thoroughly revived! . . . + +He recalled, in his musings, the little theological school surrounded +by southern woods and fields, where he had sometime walked under autumn +foliage with the elderly gentleman who had had such an influence on his +life--the dean. Mild-mannered and frail, patient in ordinary converse, +--a lion for the faith. He would have died for it as cheerfully as any +martyr in history. By the marvels of that faith Holder had beheld, from +his pew in the chapel, the little man transformed. He knew young men, +their perplexities and temptations, and he dealt with them personally, +like a father. Holder's doubts were stilled, he had gained power of his +temptations and peace for his soul, and he had gone forth inspired by the +reminder that there was no student of whom the dean expected better +things. Where now were the thousands of which he had dreamed, and which +he was to have brought into the Church? . . . + +Now, he asked himself, was it the dean, or the dean's theology through +which his regeneration had come? Might not the inherent goodness of the +dean be one thing, and his theology quite another? Personality again! +He recalled one of the many things which Alison Parr had branded on his +memory,--"the belief, the authority in which the man is clothed, and not +the man!" The dean's God had remained silent on the subject of +personality. Or, at the best, he had not encouraged it; and there were-- +Hodder could not but perceive--certain contradictions in his character, +which were an anomalistic blending of that of the jealous God of Moses +and of the God of Christ. There must be continuity--God could not +change. Therefore the God of infinite love must retain the wrath which +visited sins of the fathers on the children, which demanded sacrifice, +atonement,--an exact propitiation for his anger against mankind. An +innocent life of sorrow and suffering! + +And again, "You and your religion are as far apart as the poles!" Had +he, Hodder, outgrown the dean's religion, or had it ever been his own? +Was there, after all, such a thing as religion? Might it not be merely a +figment of the fertile imagination of man? He did not escape the terror +of this thought when he paused to consider his labour of the past two +years and the vanity of its results. And little by little the feeling +grew upon him, such being the state of his mind, that he ought not to +continue, for the present at least, to conduct the services. Should he +resign, or go away for a while to some quiet place before he made such a +momentous decision? There was no one to whom he could turn; no layman, +and no clergyman; not even the old bishop, whom he had more than once +mentally accused of being, too broad and too tolerant! No, he did not +wish a clergyman's solution. The significance of this thought flashed +through him--that the world itself was no longer seeking clergymen's +solutions. He must go off alone, and submit his faith to the impartial +test. + +It was in a vigil of the night, when he lay in the hot darkness, unable +to sleep, that he came at length to this resolve. And now that he had +cut the knot he was too just to blame Alison Parr for having pointed out +--with what often had seemed a pitiless cruelty--something of which he +had had a constantly growing perception yet had continually sought to +evade. And he reviewed, as the church bells recorded the silent hours, +how, little by little, his confidence had crumbled before the shocks of +the successive revelations--some of them so slight that they had passed +unnoticed: comparisons, inevitably compelled; Dalton Street; the +confessions of Eleanor Goodrich and Mrs. Constable; Mr. Plimpton and his +views of life--Eldon Parr! Even the slamming of the carriage doors in +Burton Street had had a significance! + +Might it not prove that this woman had let fall into the turbid waters of +his soul the drop that was to clear them forever? He would go away. He +would not see her again. + +Over the sleeping city, unapprehended, stole the dawn. + +He arose, but instead of falling on his knees he went to the window and +lifted his face to the whitening sky . . . . Slowly out of the +obscurity of the earth's shadow emerged the vague outlines of familiar +things until they stood sharply material, in a silence as of death. A +sparrow twittered, and suddenly the familiar, soot-grimed roofs were +bathed in light, and by a touch made beautiful . . . . + +Some hours later the city was wide awake. And Hodder, bathed and +dressed, stood staring down from his study window into the street below, +full now of young men and girls; some with set faces, hurrying, intent, +others romping and laughing as they dodged the trucks and trolley cars; +all on their way to the great shoe factory around the corner, the huge +funnels of which were belching forth smoke into the morning air. The +street emptied, a bell rang, a whistle blew, the hum of distant machinery +began . . . . + + + +II + +Later that morning Hodder sat in his study. The shutters were closed, +and the intensity of the tropical glare without was softened and diffused +by the slanting green slats. His eye wandered over the long and +comfortable room which had been his sanctuary in the feverish days of +his ministry, resting affectionately on the hospitable chairs, the wide +fireplace before which he had been wont to settle himself on winter +nights, and even on the green matting--a cooling note in summer. And +there, in the low cases along the walls, were the rows of his precious +books,--his one hobby and extravagance. He had grown to love the room. +Would he ever come back to it? + +A step sounded in the hall, a knock, and the well-known gaunt form and +spectacled face of McCrae appeared in the doorway. + +"Ye wished to see me?" he asked. + +"McCrae," said the rector, "I am going off for a while." + +His assistant regarded him a moment in silence. Although Hodder had no +intention of explaining his reasons, he had a curious conviction that it +were superfluous to do so, that McCrae had guessed them. + +"Why shouldn't ye? There's but a handful left to preach to in this +weather." + +"I wouldn't go, in this sudden way, if it were not imperative," Hodder +added, trying to speak calmly. + +"Why shouldn't ye?" McCrae repeated, almost fiercely. + +Hodder smiled in spite of himself. + +"There's no reason," he said, "except the added work put on you without +warning, and in this heat." + +"Ye'll not need to worry," his assistant assured him, "the heat's nothing +to me." McCrae hesitated, and then demanded abruptly, "Ye'll not be +visiting?" + +The question took Hodder by surprise. + +"No," he answered quickly, and not quite steadily, and hesitated in his +turn, "I shan't be visiting." + +"It's a rest ye need, I've been wanting to say it." McCrae took a step +forward, and for a moment it seemed as though he were at last about to +break the bonds of his reserve. Perhaps he detected an instinctive +shrinking on the rector's part. At any rate, there was another instant +of silence, in which the two men faced each other across the desk, and +McCrae held out his hand. "Good luck to ye," he said, as Hodder took it, +"and don't have the pariah on your mind. Stay till ye're rested, and +come back to us." + +He left the room abruptly. Hodder remained motionless, looking after +him, and then, moved apparently by a sudden impulse, started toward the +door,--only to halt and turn before he got to it. Almost he had opened +his lips to call his assistant back. He could not do it--the moment had +come and fled when it might have been possible. Did this man hide, under +his brusqueness and brevity of speech, the fund of wisdom and the wider +sympathy and understanding he suspected? Hodder could have vouched for +it, and yet he had kept his own counsel. And he was struck suddenly by +the significance of the fact, often remarked, that McCrae in his brief +and common-sense and by no means enlivening sermons had never once +referred in any way to doctrine or dogma! + +He spent half an hour in collecting and bestowing in two large valises +such articles as his simple needs would demand, and then set out for a +railroad office in the business portion of the city, where he bought his +ticket and berth. Then, after a moment of irresolution on the threshold +of the place, he turned to the right, thrusting his way through the +sluggish crowds on Tower Street until he came to the large bookstore +where he had been want to spend, from time to time, some of his leisure +moments. A clerk recognized him, and was about to lead the way to the +rear, where the precious editions were kept, when Hodder stopped him. + +In casting about for a beginning in his venture over unknown seas, there +had naturally come into his mind three or four works which were anathema +to the orthodox; one of which, in seven volumes, went back to his +seminary days, and had been the subject of a ringing, denunciatory sermon +by the dean himself. Three of them were by Germans of established +reputations, another by a professor of the University of Paris. The +habit of years is strong. + +And though he knew that many clergymen read these books, Hodder found it +impossible to overcome a nervous sense of adventure,--nay (knowing his +resolution), of apostasy, almost of clandestine guilt when he mentioned +them. And it seemed to him that the face of the clerk betrayed surprise. +One of the works was not in stock; he would send the others that +afternoon. Mr. Hodder would take them? They made a formidable parcel, +but a little handle was supplied and the rector hurried out, swinging +himself on a Tower Street car. + +It must not be thought that the whole of what is called modern criticism +was new to Hodder. This would indeed be too much of a reflection on the +open-mindedness of the seminary from which he had graduated. But he +found himself, now, pondering a little cynically on that "open- +mindedness"; on that concession--if it had been a concession--to the +methods of science. There had been in truth a course of lectures on this +subject; but he saw now, very clearly, what a concerted effort had been +put forward in the rest of the teaching to minimize and discredit it. +Even the professor who gave the lectures had had the air of deploring +them. Here it is, but on the whole one would better let it alone,--such +was the inference. And he had let it alone, through all these years. + +In the seminary, too, volumes by semi-learned clergymen had been thrust +into his hands, efforts which Hodder recalled now, in spite of his mental +state, with a smile. These invariably championed the doctrine of the +virgin birth as the pillar on which the Incarnation depended. +A favourite argument declared that although the Gospel texts in regard to +it might be proven untrustworthy, the miraculous birth must have happened +anyway! And one of these clerical authors whom he had more recently +read, actually had had the audacity to turn the weapons of the archenemy, +science, back upon itself. The virgin birth was an established fact in +nature, and had its place in the social economy of the bee. And did not +parthenogenesis occur in the silk moth? + +In brief, the conclusion impressed upon him by his seminary instruction +was this: that historical criticism had corrected some ideas and put +some things in their right place. What these things were remained +sufficiently vague. But whenever it attacked a cherished dogma it was, +on general principles, wrong. + +Once again in his cool study, he cut the cord with a trembling hand, and +while he was eating the lunch his housekeeper had prepared, dipped into +one of the larger volumes. As he read again the critical disproofs he +felt an acute, almost physical pain, as though a vital part of him were +being cut away, as his mind dwelt upon those beautiful legends to which +he had so often turned, and which had seemed the very fountain of his +faith. Legends! . . . . + +He closed the book. The clock on the mantel struck three; his train was +to leave at five. He rose and went down into the silent church he had +grown to love, seating himself in one of the carved stalls of the choir, +his eye lingering in turn on each beautiful object: on the glowing +landscape in the window in memory of Eliza Parr, portraying the +delectable country, with the bewildered yet enraptured faces of the +pilgrims in the foreground; on the graceful, shining lectern, the +aspiring arches, the carved marble altar behind the rail, and above +it the painting of the Christ on the cross. + +The hours of greatest suffering are the empty hours. 'Eloi, Eloi, lama +sabachthani?' The hours when the mysterious sustaining and driving force +is withdrawn, and a lassitude and despair comes over us like that of a +deserted child: the hours when we feel we have reached the limit of +service, when our brief span of usefulness is done. Had God brought him, +John Hodder, to the height of the powers of his manhood only to abandon +him, to cast him adrift on the face of the waters--led him to this great +parish, with all its opportunities, only that he might fail and flee? + +He sat staring at the face of the Man on the cross. Did he, in his +overwrought state, imagine there an expression he had never before +remarked, or had the unknown artist of the seventies actually risen above +the mediocrity of the figure in his portrayal of the features of the +Christ? The rector started, and stared again. There was no weakness in +the face, no meekness, no suggestion of the conception of the sacrificed +Lamb, no hint of a beatific vision of opening heavens--and yet no +accusation, no despair. A knowing--that were nearer--a knowing of all +things through the experiencing of all things, the suffering of all +things. For suffering without revelation were vain, indeed! A perfected +wisdom that blended inevitably with a transcendent love. Love and wisdom +were one, then? To reach comprehension through conquering experience was +to achieve the love that could exclaim, "they know not what they do!" + +Human or divine? Man or God? Hodder found himself inwardly repeating +the words, the controversy which had raged for nineteen hundred years, +and not yet was stilled. Perfection is divine. Human! Hodder repeated +the word, as one groping on the threshold of a great discovery . . . . + + + +III + +He was listening--he had for a long time been listening to a sound which +had seemed only the natural accompaniment of the drama taking place in +his soul, as though some inspired organist were expressing in exquisite +music the undercurrent of his agony. Only gradually did he become aware +that it arose from the nave of the church, and, turning, his eyes fell +upon the bowed head and shoulders of a woman kneeling in one of the pews. +She was sobbing. + +His movement, he recalled afterward, did not come of a conscious +volition, as he rose and descended the chancel steps and walked toward +her; he stood for what seemed a long time on the white marble of the +aisle looking down on her, his heart wrung by the violence of her grief, +which at moments swept through her like a tempest. She seemed still +young, but poverty had marked her with unmistakable signs. The white, +blue-veined hands that clung to the railing of the pew were thin; and the +shirtwaist, though clean, was cheap and frayed. At last she rose from +her knees and raised a tear-stained face to his, staring at him in a dumb +bewilderment. + +"Can I do anything for you?" he said gently, "I am the rector here." +She did not answer, but continued to stare uncomprehendingly. He sat +down beside her in the pew. + +"You are in trouble," he said. "Will you let me try to help you?" +A sob shook her--the beginning of a new paroxysm. He waited patiently +until it was over. Suddenly she got rather wildly and unsteadily to her +feet. + +"I must go!" she cried. "Oh, God, what would I do if--if he wasn't +there?" + +Hodder rose too. She had thrust herself past him into the aisle, but if +he had not taken her arm she would have fallen. Thus they went together +to the door of the church, and out into the white, burning sunlight. In +spite of her weakness she seemed actually to be leading him, impelled by +a strange force arid fled down the steps of the porch to the sidewalk. +And there she paused, seeing him still beside her. Fortunately he had +his hat in his hand. + +"Where are you going?" she asked. + +"To take you home," he replied firmly, "you ought not to go alone." + +A look of something like terror came into her eyes. + +"Oh, no!" she protested, with a vehemence that surprised him. "I am +strong. Oh, thank you, sir,--but I can go alone. It's Dicky--my little +boy. I've never left him so long. I had gone for the medicine and I saw +the church. I used to go to church, sir, before we had our troubles--and +I just went in. It suddenly came over me that God might help me--the +doctor can do nothing." + +"I will go with you," he said. + +She ceased to resist, as one submitting to the fatality of a superior +will. + +The pavements that afternoon, as Hodder and the forlorn woman left the +cool porticoes of St. John's, were like the floor of a stone oven, and +the work horses wore little bonnets over their heads. Keeping to the +shady side, the rector and his companion crossed Tower Street with its +trolley cars and its awninged stores, and came to that depressing +district which had reproached him since the first Sunday of his ministry +when he had traversed it with Eldon Parr. They passed the once +prosperous houses, the corner saloons pandering to two vices, decked with +the flamboyant signs of the breweries. The trees were dying along the +asphalt and in the yards, the iron fences broken here and there, the +copings stained with rust and soot. Hodder's thoughts might have been +likened to the heated air that simmered above the bricks. + +They were in Dalton Street! She seemed to have forgotten his presence, +her pace quickened as she turned into a gate and flew up a flight of +dirty stone steps, broken and sagging. Hodder took in, subconsciously, +that the house was a dingy grey, of three stories and a Mansard roof, +with a bay window on the yard side, and a fly-blown sign, "Rooms to Rent" +hanging in one window. Across the street, on a lot that had once held a +similar dignified residence, was the yellow brick building of the "Albert +Hotel," and next door, on the east, a remodelled house of "apartments" +with speaking tubes in the doorway. + +The woman led him up another flight of steps to the open door of +the house, through a hallway covered with a ragged carpet, where a +dilapidated walnut hat-rack stood, up the stairs, threading a dark +passage that led into a low-ceiled, stifling room at the very back. +A stout, slatternly person in a wrapper rose as they entered, but the +mother cast herself down beside the lounge where the child was. Hodder +had a moment of fear that she was indeed too late, so still the boy lay, +so pathetically wan was the little face and wasted the form under the +cotton nightgown. The mother passed her hand across his forehead. + +"Dicky!" she whispered fearfully, "Dicky!" + +He opened his eyes and smiled at her; feebly. + +The, stout woman, who had been looking on with that intensity of sympathy +of which the poor are capable, began waving gently the palm-leaf fan. +She was German. + +"He is so good, is Dicky. He smile at me when I fan him--once, twice. +He complains not at all." + +The mother took the fan from her, hand. + +"Thank you for staying with him, Mrs. Breitmann. I was gone longer than +I expected." The fact that the child still lived, that she was again in +his presence, the absorbing act of caring for him seemed to have calmed +her. + +"It is nothing, what I do," answered Mrs. Breitmann, and turned away +reluctantly, the tears running on her cheeks. "When you go again, I come +always, Mrs. Garvin. Ach!" + +Her exclamation was caused by the sight of the tall figure and black coat +of the rector, and as she left the room, Mrs. Garvin turned. And he +noticed in her eyes the same expression of dread they had held when she +had protested against his coming. + +"Please don't think that I'm not thankful--" she faltered. + +"I am not offering you charity," he said. "Can you not take from other +human beings what you have accepted from this woman who has just left?" + +"Oh, sir, it isn't that!" she cried, with a look of trust, of appeal that +was new, "I would do anything--I will do anything. But my husband--he is +so bitter against the church, against ministers! If he came home and +found you here--" + +"I know--many people feel that way," he assented, "too many. But you +cannot let a prejudice stand in the way of saving the boy's life, Mrs. +Garvin." + +"It is more than that. If you knew, sir--" + +"Whatever it is," he interrupted, a little sternly, "it must not +interfere. I will talk to your husband." + +She was silent, gazing at him now questioningly, yet with the dawning +hope of one whose strength is all but gone, and who has found at last a +stronger to lean upon, + +The rector took the fan from her arrested hand and began to ply it. + +"Listen, Mrs. Garvin. If you had come to the church half an hour later, +I should have been leaving the city for a place far distant." + +"You were going away? You stayed on my account?" + +"I much prefer to stay, if I can be of any use, and I think I can. I am +sure I can. What is the matter with the child?" + +"I don't know, sir--he just lies there listless and gets thinner and +thinner and weaker and weaker. Sometimes he feels sick, but not often. +The doctor don't seem to know." + +What doctor have you?" + +"His name is Welling. He's around the corner." + +"Exactly," said the rector. "This is a case for Dr. Jarvis, who is the +best child specialist in the city. He is a friend of mine, and I intend +to send for him at once. And the boy must go to a hospital--" + +"Oh, I couldn't, sir." + +He had a poignant realization of the agony behind the cry. She breathed +quickly through her parted lips, and from the yearning in her tired eyes +--as she gazed at the poor little form--he averted his glance. + +"Now, Mrs. Garvin, you must be sensible," he said. "This is no place for +a sick child. And it is such a nice little hospital, the one I have in +mind, and so many children get well and strong there," he added, +cheerfully. + +"He wouldn't hear of it." Hodder comprehended that she was referring to +her husband. She added inconsequently: "If I let him go, and he never +came back! Oh, I couldn't do it--I couldn't." + +He saw that it was the part of wisdom not to press her, to give her time +to become accustomed to the idea. Come back--to what? His eye wandered +about the room, that bespoke the last shifts of poverty, for he knew that +none but the desperate were driven to these Dalton Street houses, once +the dwellings of the well-to-do, and all the more pitiful for the +contrast. The heated air reeked with the smell of stale cooking. +There was a gas stove at one side, a linoleum-covered table in the +centre, littered with bottles, plates, and pitchers, a bed and chairs +which had known better days, new obviously bruised and battered by many +enforced movings. In one corner was huddled a little group of toys. + +He was suddenly and guiltily aware that the woman had followed his +glance. + +"We had them in Alder Street," she said. "We might have been there yet, +if we hadn't been foolish. It's a pretty street, sir--perhaps you know +it--you take the Fanshawe Avenue cars to Sherman Heights. The air is +like the country there, and all the houses are new, and Dicky had a yard +to play in, and he used to be so healthy and happy in it. . . We were +rich then,--not what you'd call rich," she added apologetically, "but we +owned a little home with six rooms, and my husband had a good place as +bookkeeper in a grocery house, and every year for ten years we put +something by, and the boy came. We never knew how well off we were, +until it was taken away from us, I guess. And then Richard--he's my +husband--put his savings into a company--he thought it was so safe, and +we were to get eight per cent--and the company failed, and he fell sick +and lost his place, and we had to sell the house, and since he got well +again he's been going around trying for something else. Oh, he's tried +so hard,--every day, and all day long. You wouldn't believe it, sir. +And he's so proud. He got a job as porter, but he wasn't able to hold +it--he wasn't strong enough. That was in April. It almost broke my +heart to see him getting shabby--he used to look so tidy. And folks +don't want you when you're shabby." . . . + +There sprang to Hodder's mind a sentence in a book he had recently read: +"Our slums became filled with sick who need never have been sick; with +derelicts who need never have been abandoned." + +Suddenly, out of the suffocating stillness of the afternoon a woman's +voice was heard singing a concert-hall air, accompanied by a piano played +with vigour and abandon. And Hodder, following the sound, looked out +across the grimy yard--to a window in the apartment house opposite. + +"There's that girl again," said the mother, lifting her head. "She does +sing nice, and play, poor thing! There was a time when I wouldn't have +wanted to listen. But Dicky liked it so . . . . It's the very tune +he loved. He don't seem to hear it now. He don't even ask for Mr. +Bentley any more." + +"Mr. Bentley?" the rector repeated. The name was somehow familiar to +him. + +The piano and the song ceased abruptly, with a bang. + +"He lives up the street here a way--the kindest old gentleman you ever +saw. He always has candy in his pockets for the children, and it's a +sight to see them follow him up and down the sidewalk. He takes them to +the Park in the cars on Saturday afternoons. That was all Dicky could +think about at first--would he be well enough to go with Mr. Bentley by +Saturday? And he was forever asking me to tell Mr. Bentley he was sick. +I saw the old gentleman on the street to-day, and I almost went up to +him. But I hadn't the courage." + +The child moaned, stirred, and opened his eyes, gazing at them +feverishly, yet without seeming comprehension. She bent over him, +calling his name . . . . Hodder thrust the fan into her hand, and +rose. + +"I am going to telephone Dr. Jarvis," he said, "and then I shall come +back, in order to be here when he arrives." + +She looked up at him. + +"Oh, thank you, sir,--I guess it's for the best--" + +Her voice died away, and the rector, seeking for the cause, saw that a +man had entered the room. He walked up to the couch and stood for a +moment staring moodily at the child, while the woman watched him, +transfixed. + +"Richard!" she said. + +He paid no attention to her. She turned to Hodder. "This is my husband, +sir. . . . Richard, I went into the church--just for a moment--I--I +couldn't help it, and this gentleman--the minister--came home with me. +He wanted to--he thought I was sick. And now he's going out to get the +best doctor in the city for Dicky." + +The man turned suddenly and confronted the rector. + +"Why don't you let him die, you and your church people?" he asked. +"You've done your worst to kill him." + +The woman put her hand fearfully, imploringly on the man's arm. + +"Richard!" she whispered. + +But as Hodder glanced from the derelict beside him a wave of +comprehension passed through him that swept him clean of indignation, +of resentment. And this man had been prosperous and happy! + +"There is but one way to save the boy's life, Mr. Garvin," he said, "and +that is to put him in charge of Dr. Jarvis." + +The man made no reply, but went over to the window, staring out into the +yard. There was something vaguely ominous in his attitude. The rector +watched him a moment, and then turned to the mother. + +"You must not lose hope," he told her. + +She looked at him with terror-stricken eyes that sought to be grateful. +He had picked up his hat from a corner of the littered table, and started +to leave, when Garvin, by a sudden movement, planted himself in the +doorway. Whether he had been drinking, or whether he were merely crazed +by misfortune and the hopeless search in the heat for employment, and by +lack of proper nourishment, Hodder could not say. There was a light in +his eyes like that in a wounded animal's; and although he was thin and +slight, he had the concentrated power of desperation. + +"Say, what church do you come from?" he demanded. + +"From St. John's," said the rector. + +"Eldon Parr's church?" + +Hodder started, in spite of himself, at the name. + +"Mr. Parr is a member of the congregation." + +"Come off! He owns it and runs it, the same as he does everything else +in this town. Maybe you don't think I read the Sunday papers. Say, I +was respectable once, and had a good place. You wouldn't believe it, +would you?" + +Hodder hesitated. There was obviously no way to pass the man except by +using physical force. + +"If you have anything to say to me, Mr. Garvin, I shall be glad to talk +to you later. You must not stop me now," he said with a touch of +severity. + +"You'll listen to me, right here and now," cried Garvin. "If you think I +am going to let Eldon Parr's minister, or any one else belonging to him, +save that boy's life, you've got another guess comin'. That's all. I'd +rather have him die--d'ye hear? I'd rather have him die." + +The woman behind them whimpered . . . . The name was ringing like a +knell in Hodder's head--Eldon Parr! Coming, as it had, like a curse from +the lips of this wretched, half-demented creature, it filled his soul +with dismay. And the accusation had in it the profound ring of truth. +He was Eldon Parr's minister, and it was Eldon Parr who stood between him +and his opportunity. + +"Why do you speak of Mr. Parr?" he asked, though the question cost him a +supreme effort. + +"Why do I speak of him? My God, because he ruined me. If it hadn't been +for him, damn him, I'd have a home, and health and happiness to-day, and +the boy would be well and strong instead of lying there with the life all +but gone out of him. Eldon Parr did for me, and now he's murdered my +son--that's why I mention him." + +In the sudden intensity of his feeling, Hodder seized Garvin by the arms +--arms that were little more than skin and bone. The man might be +crazed, he might be drunk: that he believed what he was saying there +could be no question. He began to struggle violently, but the rector was +strong. + +"Be still," he commanded. And suddenly, overcome less by the physical +power than by the aspect of the clergyman, an expression of bewilderment +came into his eyes, and he was quiet. Hodder dropped his arms. "I do +not intend to go until I hear what you have to say. It would be useless, +at any rate, since your child's life is at stake. Tell me how Mr. Parr +has ruined you." + +Garvin stared at him, half in suspicion, half in amazement. + +"I guess you never knew of his ruining anybody, did you?" he demanded +sullenly. "Well, I'll tell you all right, and you can go and tell him. +He won't care much--he's used to it by this time, and he gets square with +God by his churches and charities. Did you ever hear of a stock called +Consolidated Tractions?" + +Consolidated Tractions! In contrast to the sordid misery and degradation +of this last refuge of the desperate Hodder saw the lofty, panelled +smoking room at Francis Ferguson's, and was listening again to Wallis +Plimpton's cynical amusement as to how he and Everett Constable and Eldon +Parr himself had "gat out" before the crash; "got out" with all the money +of the wretch who now stood before him! His parishioners! his +Christians! Oh God! + +The man was speaking in his shrill voice. + +"Well, I was a Traction sucker, all right, and I guess you wouldn't have +to walk more than two blocks to find another in this neighbourhood. You +think Eldon Parr's a big, noble man, don't you? You're proud to run his +church, ain't you? You wouldn't believe there was a time when I thought +he was a big man, when I was kind of proud to live in the same city with +him. She'll tell you how I used to come home from the store and talk +about him after supper, and hope that the kid there would grow up into a +financier like Eldon Parr. The boys at the store talked about him: he +sort of laid hold on our imaginations with the library he gave, and +Elmwood Park, and the picture of the big organ in your church in the +newspapers--and sometimes, Mary and me and the boy, in the baby carriage, +on Sunday afternoons we used to walk around by his house, just to look at +it. You couldn't have got me to believe that Eldon Parr would put his +name to anything that wasn't straight. + +"Then Consolidated Tractions came along, with Parr's, name behind it. +Everybody was talking about it, and how it was payin' eight per cent. +from the start, and extra dividends and all, and what a marvel of finance +it was. Before the kid came, as soon as I married her, we began to save +up for him. We didn't go to the theatres or nothing. Well, I put it +all, five thousand dollars, into Consolidated. She'll tell you how we +sat up half the night after we got the first dividend talking about how +we'd send the kid to college, and after we went to bed we couldn't sleep. +It wasn't more than a year after that we began to hear things--and we +couldn't sleep for sure, and the dividends stopped and the stock tumbled. +Even then I wouldn't believe it of him, that he'd take poor people's +money that way when he had more than he knew what to do with. I made up +my mind if I went down to see him and told him about it, he'd make it +right. I asked the boss for an hour off, and headed for the Parr +building--I've been there as much as fifty times since--but he don't +bother with small fry. The clerks laugh when they see me comin' . . . +I got sick worryin', and when I was strong enough to be around they'd +filled my job at the grocery, and it wasn't long before we had to move +out of our little home in Alder Street. We've been movin' ever since," +he cried, and tears of weakness were in his eyes, "until we've come to +this, and we'll have to get out of here in another week. God knows where +we'll go then." + +Hodder shuddered. + +"Then I found out how he done it--from a lawyer. The lawyer laughed at +me, too. Say, do you wonder I ain't got much use for your church people? +Parr got a corporation lawyer named Langmaid--he's another one of your +millionnaire crooks--to fix it up and get around the law and keep him out +of jail. And then they had to settle with Tim Beatty for something like +three hundred thousand. You know who Beatty is--he owns this city--his +saloon's around here on Elm Street. All the crooks had to be squared. +Say," he demanded aggressively, "are Parr and Langmaid any better than +Beatty, or any of the hold-up men Beatty covers? There's a street-walker +over there in those flats that's got a million times more chance to get +to heaven--if there is any--than those financiers, as they call 'emselves +--I ain't much on high finance, but I've got some respect for a second +story man now--he takes some risks! I'll tell you what they did, they +bought up the short car lines that didn't pay and sold 'em to themselves +for fifty times as much as they were worth; and they got controlling +interests in the big lines and leased 'em to themselves with dividends +guaranteed as high as eighteen per cent. They capitalized the +Consolidated for more millions than a little man like me can think of, +and we handed 'em our money because we thought they were honest. We +thought the men who listed the stock on the Exchange were honest. And +when the crash came, they'd got away with the swag, like any common +housebreakers. There were dummy directors, and a dummy president. Eldon +Parr didn't have a share--sold out everything when she went over two +hundred, but you bet he kept his stock in the leased lines, which +guarantee more than they earn. He cleaned up five million, they say.... +My money--the money that might give that boy fresh air, and good doctors +....Say, you believe in hell, don't you? You tell Eldon Parr to keep his +charity,--he can't send any of it in here. And you'd better go back to +that church of his and pray to keep his soul out of hell." . . . + +His voice, which had risen even to a higher pitch, fell silent. And all +at once, without warning, Garvin sank, or rather tumbled upon the bed, +sobbing in a way that was terrible to see. The wife stole across the +room, sat down beside him, and laid her hand on his shoulder. . . . + +In spite of the intensity of his own anguish, Hodder was conscious of a +curious detachment; and for months afterward particular smells, the sight +of a gasoline stove, a certain popular tune gave him a sharp twinge of +pain. The acid distilling in his soul etched the scene, the sounds, the +odours forever in his memory: a stale hot wind from the alley rattled the +shutter-slats, and blew the door to; the child stirred; and above the +strident, irregular weeping rose main, in ironical contrast, the piano +and the voice across the yard. In that glimpse he had into the heart of +life's terrible mystery he momentarily understood many things: he knew +that behind the abandon of the woman's song was the same terror which +reigned in the room in which he stood . . . . + +There were voices in the passageway without, a woman saying in a German +accent,--"It is here, sir." + +There was a knock at the door . . . . + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +THE LOST PARISHIONER + + +I + +Hodder opened the door. In the dingy passageway he perceived a tall +figure which immediately turned out to be that of an old gentleman. In +spite of the heat, he wore a long coat and an old-fashioned, high collar, +a black tie, under which was exposed a triangle of immaculate, pleated +linen. In one hand he held a gold-headed stick, a large tall hat of +which the silk nap was a little rubbed, a string sustaining a parcel, the +brown paper wrapping of which was soaked: in the other, a manila bag +containing lemons. + +His head was bent forward a little, the high dome of it was bald, +but the white hair clustered thickly behind the temples. The face was +clean-shaven, the cheeks touched with red, the nose high and dominating, +distinctly philanthropic. And the blue eyes rested on the clergyman with +a benevolence unfeigned. + +"Good afternoon, sir," the old gentleman said; "I am told Mrs. Garvin +lives here." + +Before the rector could reply Mrs. Garvin herself stood between them. + +"It's Mr. Bentley!" she exclaimed. + +"I fear I'm intruding, ma'am," he said. "But some of Dicky's little +friends have just informed me that he is ill, and I have taken the +liberty of calling to inquire." + +Mr. Bentley entered the room,--simple words to express that which was +in some sort an event. He laid his parcels on the table, his hat and +stick on a chair, and stood looking down in silence at the thin little +form on the couch. Presently he turned. + +"I'm afraid he's very ill, ma'am," he said gently. "You have your own +doctor, no doubt. But if you will permit me, as a friend, to make a +suggestion, we have in the city one of the best child specialists in the +United States, who is never weary of curing these little ones,--Dr. +Jarvis, and I shall be happy to ask him to come and see Dicky." + +Mrs. Garvin glanced at Hodder, who came forward. + +"I was just about to telephone for Dr. Jarvis, Mr. Bentley, when you +arrived. I am Mr. Hodder, of St. John's." + +"How do you do, sir?" The kindly eyes, alight with a gentle flame, rested +upon the rugged figure of the rector. "I am glad that you, too, agree +that Dr. Jarvis is advisable, Mr. Hodder." + +There was a sound from the bed. Garvin had got to his feet and was +staring wildly, with reddened lids. + +"Are you Horace Bentley?" he demanded. + +"That is my name, sir," Mr. Bentley replied. His expression of surprise +was only momentary. And in all his life Hodder had never beheld a +greater contrast in human beings than between that gracious and courtly +old man and the haggard, unkempt, unshaved, and starving outcast facing +him. Something like a film came over Garvin's eyes. + +"He ruined you, too, twenty years back--Eldon Parr did for you, too. Oh, +I know his record, I've followed his trail--he got all the Grantham stock +that would have made you a millionnaire!" + +"Ah," replied Mr. Bentley, smiling to humour him, "that's something I +have no wish to be, sir,--a millionaire." He met the frightened gaze of +the wife. "Good day, ma'am. If you will allow me, I'll come to-morrow +morning to learn what Dr. Jarvis will have had to say. Have courage, +ma'am, have courage. You may have faith in Dr. Jarvis." + +The poor woman was incapable of speech. Mr. Bentley picked up his hat +and stick. + +"I've taken the liberty of bringing Dicky a little ice and a few lemons." +His eyes rested again on the couch by the window. Then he turned to +Garvin, who stood mutely, staring. "Good evening, sir," he said. +"We must look for the best." + + + +II + +They went down the stairs of the shabby and battered house, stairs by the +side of which holes had been knocked through the faded wall-paper--scars +of frequent movings. The sound and smell of frying came out of the open +door of what once had been the parlour, and on the front steps a little +girl darted past them with a pitcher of beer. When they reached the +sidewalk Mr. Bentley halted. + +"If you were intending to telephone Dr. Jarvis, Mr. Hodder, there is a +public station in the drug store just above here. I know that clergymen +are busy persons, and I am passing it, if you are pressed for time." + +"My only concern is to get Jarvis here," said the rector. +"If I may go with you--" + +Once again in the hot sunlight, reaction had set in. Hodder was suddenly +unstrung, and the kindly old gentleman beside him seemed for the instant +the only fixture in a chaotic universe. It was not until later +reflection that he realized Mr. Bentley might, by an intuitive sympathy, +a depth of understanding, have drained something of his state, since the +incidents which followed were to be accounted for on no other grounds. +In such elemental moments the frail conventions are swept away: Mr. +Bentley, whoever he might be, was no longer a stranger; and it seemed +wholly natural to be walking with him up the street, to hear him saying, +--not with perfunctory politeness but in a tone that was itself an +invitation,--"With pleasure, sir, we'll go together. And let us trust +that the doctor will be at home." + +Nor did Hodder stop to wonder, then, why Mr. Bentley should have sought +in his conversation to dissipate something of the hideous blackness of a +tragedy which must have moved him profoundly. How fortunate, he +declared, that they should have arrived before it was too late! For +it was plain to be seen that these Garvins were good people who had been +broken by adversity . . . . The boy had struck him particularly--a +lovable, merry little fellow whose clothes, Mr. Bentley observed, were +always neatly mended, betokening a mother with self-respect and +character. He even spoke of Garvin: adversity, worry, the heat, constant +brooding over a happier past and an uncertain future--was it surprising +that the poor man's mind had become unhinged? They must make some plan +for Garvin, said Mr. Bentley, get the man and his wife into the country +for a while amongst kindly people. This might no doubt be arranged.... + +"Here we are, sir." + +The familiar smell of drugs, the sound of the trickling water in the soda +fountain roused Hodder to reality, to action, and he hurried into the +telephone booth, fumbled in the dog-eared book, got Dr. Jarvis's number +and called it. An eternity seemed to elapse before he had a reply, heard +his coin jangling in the bog, recognized the voice of the great doctor's +secretary. Yes, the doctor was in would he speak to Mr. Hodder, of St. +John's? . . . An interval, during which Hodder was suddenly struck +with this designation of himself. Was he still of St. John's, then? An +aeon might have elapsed since he had walked down the white marble of its +aisle toward the crouching figure in the pew. He was not that man, but +another--and still Mr. Hodder, of St. John's. . . . Then he heard the +specialist say, "Hello, Mr. Hodder, what can I do for you?" Heard his +own voice in reply, explaining the case. Could the doctor find time? +The doctor could: he was never too busy to attend to the poor,--though he +did not say so: he would be there--by half-past six. The rector hung up +the receiver, opened the door of the booth and mopped his brow, for the +heat was stifling. + +"The doctor will go," he explained in answer to Mr. Bentley's inquiring +look. + +"Now, sir," said the old gentleman, when they were out of the store, "we +have done all that we can for the time being. I do not live far from +here. Perhaps you would give me the pleasure of taking supper with me, +if you have no other engagement." + +No other engagement! Not until then did Hodder remember his empty rooms +in the parish house, and the train which was to have borne him away from +all this already speeding northward. He accepted gratefully, nor did he +pause to speculate upon the mystery by which the stream of his life +seemed so suddenly to have been diverted. He had, indeed, no sense of +mystery in the presence of this splendidly sane, serene old man, any more +than the children who ran after him from the dingy yards and passages, +calling his name, clinging to the skirts of his coat. These accepted +him simply as an anomalous fact in their universe, grinned at his +pleasantries, and held up grimy little hands for the kidney-shaped candy +beans he drew forth from his capacious pockets. In the intervals he +reminisced to the rector about the neighbourhood. + +"It seems but a short while ago when the trees met overhead--magnificent +trees they were. The asphalt and the soot killed them. And there were +fruit trees in that yard"--he pointed with his stick to a littered sun +parched plot adjoining a battered mansion--"all pink and white with +blossoms in the spring. Mr. Hadley lived there--one of our forgotten +citizens. He is dead and gone now and his family scattered. That other +house, where the boy lies, belonged to Mr. Villars, a relation of the +Atterbury family, and I can recall very well a little girl with a pink +sash and a white dress who used to come running out to meet me with +flowers in her hands. Incredible as it may seem, she picked them in that +yard. I thought of her as I went in, how fresh and happy she used to be, +and what a different place this was for children then. She must have +some of her own by this time." + +The character of the street had changed to what might be called shabby- +genteel, and they stopped before a three-story brick house--one of a row +--that showed signs of scrupulous care. The steps were newly scrubbed, +the woodwork neatly painted. + +"This is where I live, sir," said Mr. Bentley, opening the door with a +latchkey and leading the way into a high room on the right, darkened and +cool, and filled with superb, old-fashioned rosewood furniture. It was +fitted up as a library, with tall shelves reaching almost to the ceiling. + +An old negro appeared, dressed in a swallow-tailed coat. His hair was as +white as his master's, and his face creased with age. + +"Sam," said Mr. Bentley, "I have brought home a gentleman for supper." + +"Yassah, Misteh Ho'ace. I was jest agwine to open up de blin's." + +He lifted the wire screens and flung back the shutters, beamed +on the rector as he relieved him of his hat, and noiselessly retired. +Curiosity, hitherto suppressed by more powerful feelings, awoke in Hodder +speculations which ordinarily would have been aroused before: every +object in the room bespoke gentility, was eloquent of a day when wealth +was honoured and respected: photographs, daguerreotypes in old-fashioned +frames bore evidence of friendships of the past, and over the marble +mantel hung a portrait of a sweet-faced woman in the costume of the +thirties, whose eyes reminded Hodder of Mr. Bentley's. Who was she? + +Hodder wondered. Presently he found himself before a photograph on the +wall beyond, at which he had been staring unconsciously. + +"Ah, you recognize it," said Mr. Bentley. + +"St. John's!" + +"Yes," Mr. Bentley repeated, "St. John's." He smiled at Hodder's glance +of bewilderment, and put his hand on the younger man's arm. "That +picture was taken before you were born, sir, I venture to say--in 1869. +I am very fond of it, for it gives the church in perspective, as you see. +That was Mr. Gore's house"--he indicated a square, heavily corniced +mansion--"where the hotel now stands, and that was his garden, next the +church, where you see the trees above the wall." + +The rector turned again and looked at his host, who, was gazing at the +picture thoughtfully. + +"I ought to have remembered," he said. "I have seen your name in the +church records, sir, and I have heard Mr. Waring speak of you." + +"My dear Mr. Hodder, there is no reason why you should have known me. +A great many years have passed since I was a parishioner of St. John's +--a great many years." + +"But it was you," the rector began, uncertainly, and suddenly spoke with +conviction, "it was you who chose the architect, who did more than other +men to make the church what it is." + +"Whatever I may have done," replied Mr. Bentley, with simple dignity, +"has brought its reward. To this day I have not ceased to derive +pleasure from it, and often I go out of my way, through Burton Street, +although the view is cramped. And sometimes," he added, with the hint of +a twinkle in his eye, "I go in. This afternoon is not the first time I +have seen you, Mr. Hodder." + +"But--?" said the rector. He stared at the other's face, and the +question died on his lips. + +"You wonder why I am no longer a parishioner. The time came when +I could not afford to be." There was no hint of reproach in his voice, +of bitterness. He spoke regretfully, indeed, but as one stating an +incontrovertible fact. "I lost my fortune, I could not keep my pew, +so I deeded it back to the church. My old friends, Mrs. Dimock and Asa +Waring, and others, too, were very kind. But I could not accept their +hospitality." + +Hodder bowed his head in silence. What thundered indictment of the +Church of Christ could have been as severe, as wholly condemning as these +few words so dispassionately uttered by the man beside him? + +The old darky entered, and announced supper. + +Hodder had lost his way, yet a hand had been held out to him, and he +seized it. With a sense of being led, psychically as well as physically, +he followed Mr. Bentley into a large bedroom, where a high, four-posted +bed lifted a pleated canopy toward the ceiling. And after he had washed +his hands they entered a dining-room looking out upon a little yard in +the rear, which had been transformed into a garden. Roses, morning +glories, and nasturtiums were growing against the walls; a hose lay +coiled upon the path; the bricks, baked during the day, were splashed +with water; the leaves and petals were wet, and the acrid odour of moist +earth, mingling with perfumes, penetrated the room. Hodder paused in the +window. + +"Sam keeps our flowers alive," he heard Mr. Bentley say, "I don't know +how." + +"I scrubs 'em, sah," said Sam. "Yassah, I washes 'em like chilluns." + +He found himself, at Mr. Bentley's request, asking grace, the old darky +with reverently bent head standing behind his master; sitting down at a +mahogany table that reflected like a mirror the few pieces of old silver, +to a supper of beaten biscuits that burned one's fingers, of 'broiled +chicken and coffee, and sliced peaches and cream. Mr. Bentley was +talking of other days--not so long gone by when the great city had been a +village, or scarcely more. The furniture, it seemed, had come from his +own house in what was called the Wilderness Road, not far from the river +banks, over the site of which limited trains now rolled on their way +eastward toward the northernmost of the city's bridges. He mentioned +many names, some remembered, some forgotten, like his own; dwelt on +pleasures and customs gone by forever. + +"A little while after I moved in here, I found that one old man could not +fill the whole of this house, so I let the upper floors," he explained, +smilingly. "Some day I must introduce you to my tenants, Mr. Hodder." + +By degrees, as Hodder listened, he became calm. Like a child, he found +himself distracted, talking, asking questions: and the intervals grew +longer between the recurrent surges of fear when the memory rose before +him of the events of the day,--of the woman, the child, and the man: of +Eldon Parr and this deed he had done; hinting, as it did, of closed +chambers of other deeds yet to be opened, of countless, hidden miseries +still to be revealed: when he heard once more the tortured voice of the +banker, and the question: "How would you like to live in this house-- +alone? "In contrast, now he beheld the peace in the face of the man +whose worldly goods Eldon Parr had taken, and whom he had driven out of +the church. Surely, this man had found a solution! . . . What was it? + +Hodder thought of the child, of the verdict of Dr. Jarvis, but he +lingered on, loth to leave,--if the truth be told--afraid to leave; +drawing strength from his host's calm, wondering as to the source of it, +as to the life which was its expression; longing, yet not presuming, to +question. The twilight deepened, and the old darky lit a lamp and led +the way back to the library. + +"Sam," said Mr. Bentley, "draw up the armchair for Mr. Hodder beside the +window. It is cooler there." + +"I ought to go," Hodder said. "I ought to see how the child is. Jarvis +will have been there by this time, and there may be necessaries--" + +"Jarvis will have attended to that," Mr. Bentley replied. "Sit down, Mr. +Hodder. I am not sure that, for the present, we have not done all in +this case that is humanly possible." + +"You mean," said the rector, "that they will accept nothing from me." +It came from him, spontaneously, like a cry. He had not meant to say it. +"I don't blame them. I don't blame them for losing their faith in God +and man, in the Church. I ought to have seen it before, but I was blind, +incredibly blind--until it struck me in the face. You saw it, sir, and +you left a church from which the poor are thrust out, which refuses to +heed the first precept of its Master." + +"I saw it," answered Mr. Bentley, "but I could do nothing. Perhaps you +can do--something." + +"Ah!" Hodder exclaimed sharply, "why do you say that? The Church is +paralyzed, chained. How can she reach these wretched people who are the +victims of the ruthless individualism and greed of those who control her? +You know--that man, Mr. Bentley." (Hodder could not bring himself to +pronounce Eldon Parr's name.) "I had an affection for him, I pitied him, +because he suffers--" + +"Yes," echoed Mr. Bentley, "he suffers." + +Hodder was momentarily arrested by the sadness of his tone. + +"But he doesn't know why he suffers--he cannot be made to see," the +rector went on. "And he is making others suffer,--hideously, while he +imagines himself a Christian. He is the Church to that miserable, +hopeless wretch we saw to-day, and to hundreds of the same kind whom he +has driven to desperation. And I--who am supposed to be the vicar of +God--I am powerless. They have a contempt for me, a just contempt. They +thrust me out of their doors, bid me to return and minister to their +oppressors. You were right to leave, and I should have left long since." + +He had not spoken with violence, or with a lack of control. He seemed +rather to have regained a mastery of himself, and felt as a man from whom +the shackles have been struck, proclaiming his freedom. Mr. Bentley's +eyes lighted in involuntary response as he gazed at the figure and face +before him. He pressed his hands together. + +"If you will forgive a curiosity, Mr. Hodder, that is somewhat due to my +interest in a church with which I have many precious associations, may I +ask if this is a sudden determination on your part?" + +"No," Hodder said. "I have known ever since I came here that something +was wrong, but at first I couldn't see it, and after that I wouldn't see +it. That is about what happened, as I look back on it. + +"But the farther in I went," Hodder continued, "the more tangled and +bewildered I became. I was hypnotized, I think," he added with a +gesture,--"hypnotized, as a man is who never takes his eyes from a +pattern. I wanted to get at this neighbourhood--Dalton Street--I mean, +and finally I agreed to the establishment of a settlement house over +here, to be paid for largely by Eldon Parr and Francis Ferguson. I +couldn't see the folly of such an undertaking--the supreme irony of it, +until--until it was pointed out to me: He hesitated; the remembrance of +Alison Parr ran through him, a thread of pain. "And even then I tried to +dodge the issue, I tried to make myself believe that good might flow out +of evil; that the Church, which is supposed to be founded on the highest +ideal ever presented to man, might compromise and be practical, that +she might accept money which had been wrung from a trusting public by +extortion, by thinly disguised thievery such as this Consolidated +Tractions Company fraud, and do good with it! And at last I made up +my mind to go away, to-day, to a quiet place where I might be alone, +and reflect, when by a singular circumstance I was brought into contact +with this man, Garvin. I see now, clearly enough, that if I had gone, +I should never have come back." + +"And you still intend to go?" Mr. Bentley asked. + +Hodder leaned his elbow against the mantel. The lamplight had a curious +effect on Mr. Bentley's face. + +"What can I do?" he demanded. The question was not aimed directly at his +host--it was in the nature of a renewed appeal to a tribunal which had +been mute, but with which he now seemed vaguely aware of a certain +contact. "Even supposing I could bring myself to accept the compromise-- +now that I see it clearly, that the end justifies the means--what good +could I accomplish? You saw what happened this afternoon--the man would +have driven me out if, it hadn't been for you. This whole conception of +charity is a crime against civilization--I had to have that pointed out +to me, too,--this system of legalized or semi-legalized robbery and the +distribution of largesse to the victims. The Church is doing wrong, +is stultifying herself in encouraging it. She should set her face +rigidly against it, stand for morality and justice and Christianity in +government, not for pauperizing. It is her mission to enlighten these +people, all people--to make them self-respecting, to give them some +notion of the dignity of their souls and their rights before God and +man." + +"Aren't you yourself suggesting," said Mr. Bentley, "the course which +will permit you to remain?" + +Hodder was silent. The thought struck him with tremendous force. Had he +suggested it? And how--why? Could it be done? Could he do it or begin +it? + +"We have met at last in a singular way," he heard Mr. Bentley going on, +"in a way that has brushed aside the conventions, in a way--I am happy to +say--that has enabled you to give me your confidence. And I am an old +man,--that has made it easier. I saw this afternoon, Mr. Hodder, that +you were troubled, although you tried to hide it." + +"I knew that you saw it," Hodder said. + +"Nor was it difficult for me to guess something of the cause of it. The +same thing has troubled me." + +"You?" + +"Yes," Mr. Bentley answered. "I left St. John's, but the habits and +affections of a lifetime are not easily severed. And some time before +I left it I began to have visions of a future for it. There was a +question, many years ago, as to whether a new St. John's should not be +built in the West End, on a site convenient to the parishioners, and this +removal I opposed. Mr. Waring stood by me. We foresaw the day when +this district would be--what it is now--the precarious refuge of the +unfortunate in the battle of life, of just such unhappy families as the +Garvins, of miserable women who sell themselves to keep alive. I thought +of St. John's, as you did, as an oasis in a desert of misery and vice. +At that time I, too, believed in the system of charities which you have +so well characterized as pauperizing." + +"And now?" + +Mr. Bentley smiled, as at a reminiscence. + +"My eyes were opened," he replied, and in these simple words summed up +and condemned it all. "They are craving bread, and we fling them atones. +I came here. It was a house I owned, which I saved from the wrecks, and +as I look back upon what the world would call a misfortune, sir, I can +see that it was a propitious event, for me. The street 'ran down,' +as the saying goes. I grew gradually to know these people, my new +neighbours, largely through their children, and I perceived many things +I had not dreamed of--before then. I saw how the Church was hampered, +fettered; I saw why they disliked and distrusted it." + +"And yet you still believed that it had a mission?" Hodder interrupted. +He had been listening with rapt attention. + +"I still believed it," said Mr. Bentley. "My conception of that mission +changed, grew, and yet it seemed further and further from fulfilment. +And then you came to St. John's." + +"I!" The cry was involuntary. + +"You," Mr. Bentley repeated. "Sometimes," he added whimsically, "I go +there, as I have told you. I saw you, I heard you preach. I talked to +my friend Waring about you. I saw that your eyes were not opened, but I +think I had a certain presentiment, for which I do not pretend to +account, that they would be opened." + +"You mean," said the rector, "that if I believe in the mission of the +Church as I have partially stated it here tonight, I--should stay and +fight for it." + +"Precisely," Mr. Bentley replied. + +There was a note of enthusiasm, almost of militancy in the old +gentleman's tone that surprised and agitated Hodder. He took a turn +up and down the room before he answered. + +"I ought to tell you that the view I expressed a moment ago is new to me. +I had not thought of it before, and it is absolutely at variance with any +previous ideas I have held. I can see that it must involve, if carried +to its logical conclusion, a change in the conception of Christianity I +have hitherto held." + +He was too intent upon following up the thought to notice Mr. Bentley's +expression of assent. + +"And suppose," he asked, "I were unable to come to any conclusion? +I will be frank, Mr. Bentley, and confess to you that at present I cannot +see my way. You have heard me preach--you know what my beliefs have +been. They are shattered. And, while I feel that there is some definite +connection between the view of the Church which I mentioned and her +message to the individual, I do not perceive it clearly. I am not +prepared at present to be the advocate of Christianity, because I do +not know what Christianity is. I thought I knew. + +"I shall have to begin all over again, as though I had never taken +orders, submit to a thorough test, examine the evidence impartially. It +is the only way. Of this much I am sure, that the Church as a whole has +been engaged in a senseless conflict with science and progressive +thought, that she has insisted upon the acceptance of facts which are in +violation of reason and which have nothing to do with religion. She has +taught them to me--made them, in fact, a part of me. I have clung to +them as long as I can, and in throwing them over I don't know where I +shall land." + +His voice was measured, his words chosen, yet they expressed a withering +indignation and contempt which were plainly the culmination of months of +bewilderment--now replaced by a clear-cut determination. + +"I do not blame any individual," he continued, "but the system by which +clergymen are educated. + +"I intend to stay here, now, without conducting any services, and find +out for myself what the conditions are here in Dalton Street. You know +those people, Mr. Bentley, you understand them, and I am going to ask you +to help me. You have evidently solved the problem." + +Mr. Bentley rose. And he laid a hand, which was not quite steady, on the +rector's shoulder. + +"Believe me, sir," he replied, "I appreciate something of what such a +course must mean to you--a clergyman." He paused, and a look came upon +his face, a look that might scarce have been called a smile--Hodder +remembered it as a glow--reminiscent of many things. In it a life was +summed ups in it understanding, beneficence, charity, sympathy, were all +expressed, yet seemingly blended into one. "I do not know what my +testimony may be worth to you, my friend, but I give it freely. I +sometimes think I have been peculiarly fortunate. But I have lived a +great many years, and the older I get and the more I see of human nature +the firmer has grown my conviction of its essential nobility and +goodness." + +Hodder marvelled, and was silent. + +"You will come here, often,--every day if you can. There are many men +and women, friends of mine, whom I should like you to know, who would +like to know you." + +"I will, and thank you," Hodder answered. Words were inadequate for the +occasion . . . . + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE WOMAN OF THE SONG + +On leaving Mr. Bentley, Hodder went slowly down Dalton Street, wondering +that mere contact with another human being should have given him the +resolution to turn his face once again toward the house whither he was +bound. And this man had given him something more. It might hardly have +been called faith; a new courage to fare forth across the Unknown--that +was it; hope, faint but revived. + +Presently he stopped on the sidewalk, looked around him, and read a sign +in glaring, electric letters, Hotel Albert. Despite the heat, the place +was ablaze with lights. Men and women were passing, pausing--going in. +A motor, with a liveried chauffeur whom he remembered having seen before, +was standing in front of the Rathskeller. The nightly carousal was +beginning. + +Hodder retraced his steps, crossed the street diagonally, came to the +dilapidated gate he remembered so well, and looked up through the dusk at +the house. If death had entered it, there was no sign: death must be a +frequent visitor hereabouts. On the doorsteps he saw figures outlined, +slatternly women and men in shirt-sleeves who rose in silence to make way +for him, staring at him curiously. He plunged into the hot darkness of +the hall, groped his way up the stairs and through the passage, and +hesitated. A single gas jet burned low in the stagnant air, and after a +moment he made out, by its dim light, a woman on her knees beside the +couch, mechanically moving the tattered palm-leaf over the motionless +little figure. The child was still alive. He drew a deep breath, and +entered; at the sound of his step Mrs. Garvin suddenly started up. + +"Richard!" she cried, and then stood staring at the rector. "Have you +seen my husband, sir? He went away soon after you left." + +Hodder, taken by surprise, replied that he had not. Her tone, her +gesture of anxiety he found vaguely disquieting. + +"The doctor has been here?" he asked. + +"Yes," she answered absently. "I don't know where he can be--Richard. +He didn't even wait to see the doctor. And he thinks so much of Dicky, +sir, he sits here of an evening--" + +Hodder sat down beside her, and taking the palm-leaf from her hand, began +himself to fan the child. Something of her misgiving had communicated +itself to him. + +"Don't worry," he said. "Remember that you have been through a great +deal, and it is natural that you should be overwrought. Your husband +feels strongly. I don't blame him. And the sight of me this afternoon +upset him. He has gone out to walk." + +"Richard is proud," she answered simply. "He used to say he'd rather +die than take charity--and now he's come to it. And it's--that man, sir, +who's got on his brain, and changed him. He wasn't always like this, but +now he can't seem to think of anything else. He wakes up in the night +. . . . And he used to have such a sweet nature--you wouldn't have +known him . . . and came home so happy in the evenings in Alder +Street, often with a little fruit, or something he'd bought for us, and +romp with Dicky in the yard, and I'd stand and laugh at them. Even after +we'd lost our money, when he was sick that time, he didn't feel this way. +It grew on him when he couldn't get work, and then he began to cut things +out of the papers about Mr. Parr. And I have sometimes thought that +that's kept him from getting work. He talks about it, and people don't +know what to make of him. They don't know how hard he'd try if they'd +give him something.". . . . + +"We shall find something," said the rector, striving to throw into his +voice confidence and calm. He did not dare to look at her, but continued +to move the fan. + +The child stirred a little. Mrs. Garvin put out her hand. + +"Yes, the doctor was here. He was very kind. Oh, sir," she exclaimed, +"I hope you won't think us ungrateful--and that Mr. Bentley won't. +Dr. Jarvis has hopes, sir,--he says--I forget the name he called it, what +Dicky has. It's something uncommon. He says it was--brought on by the +heat, and want of food--good food. And he's coming himself in the +morning to take him out to that hospital beyond the park--in an +automobile, sir. I was just thinking what a pity it is Dicky wouldn't +realize it. He's always wanted to ride in one." Suddenly her tears +flowed, unheeded, and she clung to the little hand convulsively. +"I don't know what I shall do without him, Sir, I don't . . . . I've +always had him . . . and when he's sick, among strangers." . . . + +The rector rose to the occasion. + +"Now, Mrs. Garvin," he said firmly, "you must remember that there is only +one way to save the boy's life. It will be easy to get you a room near +the hospital, where you can see him constantly." + +"I know--I know, sir. But I couldn't leave his father, I couldn't leave +Richard." She looked around distractedly. "Where is he?" + +"He will come back presently," said the rector. "If not, I will look for +him." + +She did not reply, but continued to weep in silence. Suddenly, above the +confused noises of the night, the loud notes of a piano broke, and the +woman whose voice he had heard in the afternoon began once more with +appalling vigour to sing. The child moaned. + +Mrs. Garvin started up hysterically. + +"I can't stand it--I can't stand her singing that now," she sobbed. + +Thirty feet away, across the yard, Hodder saw the gleaming window from +which the music came. He got to his feet. Another verse began, with +more of the brazen emphasis of the concert-hall singer than ever. +He glanced at the woman beside him, irresolutely. + +"I'll speak to her," he said. + +Mrs. Garvin did not appear to hear him, but flung herself down beside the +lounge. As he seized his hat and left the room he had the idea of +telephoning for a nurse, when he almost ran into some one in the upper +hall, and recognized the stout German woman, Mrs. Breitmann. + +"Mrs. Garvin"--he said, "she ought not to be left--" + +"I am just now going," said Mrs. Breitmann. "I stay with her until her +husband come." + +Such was the confidence with which, for some reason, she inspired him, +that he left with an easier mind. + +It was not until the rector had arrived at the vestibule of the apartment +house next door that something--of the difficulty and delicacy of the +errand he had undertaken came home to him. Impulse had brought him thus +far, but now he stood staring helplessly at a row of bells, speaking +tubes, and cards. Which, for example, belonged to the lady whose soprano +voice pervaded the neighbourhood? He looked up and down the street, in +the vain hope of finding a messenger. The song continued: he had +promised to stop it. Hodder accused himself of cowardice. + +To his horror, Hodder felt stealing over him, incredible though it seemed +after the depths through which he had passed, a faint sense of +fascination in the adventure. It was this that appalled him--this +tenacity of the flesh,--which no terrors seemed adequate to drive out. +The sensation, faint as it was, unmanned him. There were still many +unexplored corners in his soul. + +He turned, once more contemplated the bells, and it was not until +then he noticed that the door was ajar. He pushed it open, climbed the +staircase, and stood in the doorway of what might be called a sitting +room, his eyes fixed on a swaying back before an upright piano against +the wall; his heart seemed to throb with the boisterous beat of the +music. The woman's hair, in two long and heavy plaits falling below her +waist, suddenly fascinated him. It was of the rarest of russet reds. +She came abruptly to the end of the song. + +"I beg your pardon--" he began. + +She swung about with a start, her music dropping to the floor, and stared +at him. Her tattered blue kimono fell away at her elbows, her full +throat was bare, and a slipper she had kicked off lay on the floor beside +her. He recoiled a little, breathing deeply. She stared at him. + +"My God, how you scared me!" she exclaimed. Evidently a second glance +brought to her a realization of his clerical costume. "Say, how did you +get in here?" + +"I beg your pardon," he said again, "but there is a very sick child in +the house next door and I came to ask you if you would mind not playing +any more to-night." + +She did not reply at once, and her expression he found unsolvable. Much +of it might be traced to a life which had contracted the habit of taking +nothing on trust, a life which betrayed itself in unmistakable traces +about the eyes. And Hodder perceived that the face, if the stamp of this +expression could have been removed, was not unpleasing, although +indulgence and recklessness were beginning to remould it. + +"Quit stringin' me," she said. + +For a moment he was at a loss. He gathered that she did not believe him, +and crossed to the open window. + +"If you will come here," he said, "I will show you the room where he +lies. We hope to be able to take him to the hospital to-morrow." He +paused a moment, and added: "He enjoyed your music very much when he was +better." + +The comment proved a touchstone. + +"Say," she remarked, with a smile that revealed a set of surprisingly +good teeth, "I can make the box talk when I get a-goin'. There's no +stopping me this side of grand opera,--that's no fable. I'm not so bad +for an enginoo, am I?" + +Thus directly appealed to, in common courtesy he assented. + +"No indeed," he said. + +That's right," she declared. "But the managers won't have it at any +price. Those jays don't know anything, do they? They've only got a +dream of what the public wants. You wouldn't believe it, but I've sung +for 'em, and they threw me out. You wouldn't believe it, would you?" + +"I must own," said the rector, "that I have never had any experience with +managers." + +She sat still considering him from the piano stool, her knees apart, her +hands folded in her lap. Mockery came into her eyes. + +"Say, what did you come in here for, honest injun?" she demanded. + +He was aware of trying to speak sternly, and of failing. To save his +life he could not, then, bring up before himself the scene in the little +back room across the yard in its full terror and reality, reproduce his +own feelings of only a few minutes ago which had impelled him hither. +A month, a year might have elapsed. Every faculty was now centred on +the woman in front of him, and on her life. + +"Why do you doubt me?" he asked. + +She continued to contemplate him. Her eyes were strange, baffling, +smouldering, yellow-brown, shifting, yet not shifty: eyes with a history. +Her laugh proclaimed both effrontery and uneasiness. + +"Don't get huffy," she said. "The kid's sick--that's on the level, is +it? You didn't come 'round to see me?" The insinuation was in her voice +as well as in her words. He did not resent it, but felt an odd thrill of +commingled pity and--fear. + +"I came for the reason I have given you," he replied; and added, more +gently: "I know it is a good deal to ask, but you will be doing a great +kindness. The mother is distracted. The child, as I told you, will be +taken to the hospital in the morning." + +She reached out a hand and closed the piano softly. + +"I guess I can hold off for to-night," she said. "Sometimes things get +kind of dull--you know, when there's nothing doing, and this keeps me +lively. How old is the kid?" + +"About nine," he estimated. + +"Say, I'm sorry." She spoke with a genuineness of feeling that surprised +him. He went slowly, almost apologetically toward the door. + +"Good night," he said, "and thank you." + +Her look halted him. + +"What's your hurry?" she demanded. + +"I'm sorry," he said hastily, "but I must be going." He was, in truth, +in a panic to leave. + +"You're a minister, ain't you?" + +"Yes," he said. + +"I guess you don't think much of me, do you?" she demanded. + +He halted abruptly, struck by the challenge, and he saw that this woman +had spoken not for herself, but for an entire outlawed and desperate +class. The fact that the words were mocking and brazen made no +difference; it would have been odd had they not been so. With a shock +of surprise he suddenly remembered that his inability to reach this +class had been one of the causes of his despair! And now? With the +realization, reaction set in, an overpowering feeling of weariness, a +desire--for rest--for sleep. The electric light beside the piano danced +before his eyes, yet he heard within him a voice crying out to him to +stay. Desperately tired though he was, he must not leave now. He walked +slowly to the table, put his hat on it and sat down in a chair beside it. + +Why do you say that?" he asked. + +"Oh, cut it out!" said the woman. "I'm on to you church folks." She +laughed. "One of 'em came in here once, and wanted to pray. I made a +monkey of him." + +"I hope," said the rector, smiling a little, "that is not the reason why +you wish me to stay." + +She regarded him doubtfully. + +"You're not the same sort," she announced at length. + +"What sort was he?" + +"He was easy,--old enough to know better--most of the easy ones are. He +marched in sanctimonious as you please, with his mouth full of salvation +and Bible verses." She laughed again at the recollection. + +"And after that," said the rector, "you felt that ministers were a lot of +hypocrites." + +"I never had much opinion of 'em," she admitted, "nor of church people, +either," she added, with emphasis. + +"There's Ferguson, who has the department store,--he's 'way up' in church +circles. I saw him a couple of months ago, one Sunday morning, driving +to that church on Burton Street, where all the rich folks go. I forget +the name--" + +"St. John's," he supplied. He had got beyond surprise. + +"St. John's--that's it. They tell me he gives a lot of money to it-- +money that he steals from the girls he hires. Oh, yes, he'll get to +heaven--I don't think." + +"How do you mean that he steals money from the girls?" + +"Say, you are innocent--ain't you! Did you ever go down to that store? +Do you know what a floorwalker is? Did you ever see the cheap guys +hanging around, and the young swells waiting to get a chance at the girls +behind the counters? Why do you suppose so many of 'em take to the easy +life? I'll put you next--because Ferguson don't pay 'em enough to live +on. That's why. He makes 'em sign a paper, when he hires 'em, that they +live at home, that they've got some place to eat and sleep, and they sign +it all right. That's to square up Ferguson's conscience. But say, if +you think a girl can support herself in this city and dress on what he +pays, you've got another guess comin'." + +There rose up before him, unsummoned, the image of Nan Ferguson, in all +her freshness and innocence, as she had stood beside him on the porch in +Park Street. He was somewhat astonished to find himself defending his +parishioner. + +"May it not be true, in order to compete with other department stores, +that Mr. Ferguson has to pay the same wages?" he said. + +"Forget it. I guess you know what Galt House is? That's where women +like me can go when we get all played out and there's nothing left in the +game--it's on River Street. Maybe you've been there." + +Hodder nodded. + +"Well," she continued, "Ferguson pays a lot of money to keep that going, +and gets his name in the papers. He hands over to the hospitals where +some of us die--and it's all advertised. He forks out to the church. +Now, I put it to you, why don't he sink some of that money where it +belongs--in living wages? Because there's nothing in it for him-- +that's why." + +The rector looked at her in silence. He had not suspected her of so much +intellect. He glanced about the apartment, at the cheap portiere flung +over the sofa; at the gaudy sofa cushions, two of which bore the names +and colours of certain colleges. The gas log was almost hidden by dried +palm leaves, a cigarette stump lay on the fender; on the mantel above +were several photographs of men and at the other side an open door +revealed a bedroom. + +"This is a nice place, ain't it?" she observed. "I furnished it when I +was on velvet--nothing was too good for me. Money's like champagne when +you take the cork out, it won't keep. I was rich once. It was lively +while it lasted," she added, with a sigh: "I've struck the down trail. +I oughtn't, by rights, to be here fooling with you. There's nothing in +it." She glanced at the clock. "I ought to get busy." + +As the realization of her meaning came to him, he quivered. + +"Is there no way but that?" he asked, in a low voice. + +"Say, you're not a-goin' to preach, are you?" + +"No," he answered, "God forbid! I was not asking the question of you." + +She stared at him. + +"Of who, then?" + +He was silent. + +"You've left me at the station. But on the level, you don't seem to know +much, that's a fact. You don't think the man who owns these flats is in +it for charity, do you? 'Single ladies,' like me, have to give up. And +then there are other little grafts that wouldn't interest you. What +church do you come from anyway?" + +"You mentioned it a little while ago." + +"St. John's!" She leaned back against the piano and laughed +unrestrainedly. "That's a good one, to think how straight I've been +talking to you." + +"I'm much obliged to you," he said. + +Again she gazed at him, now plainly perplexed. + +"What are you giving me?" + +"I mean what I say," he answered. "I am obliged to you for telling me +things I didn't know. And I appreciate--your asking me to stay." + +She was sitting upright now, her expression changed, her breath came more +rapidly, her lips parted as she gazed at him. + +"Do you know," she said, "I haven't had anybody speak to me like that +for four years." Her voice betrayed excitement, and differed in tone, +and she had cast off unconsciously the vulgarity of speech. At that +moment she seemed reminiscent of what she must once have been; and he +found himself going through an effort at reconstruction. + +"Like what?" he asked. + +"Like a woman," she answered vehemently. + +"My name is John Hodder," he said, "and I live in the parish house, next +door to the church. I should like to be your friend, if you will let me. +If I can be of any help to you now, or at any other time, I shall feel +happy. I promise not to preach," he added. + +She got up abruptly, and went to the window. And when she turned to him +again, it was with something of the old bravado. + +"You'd better leave me alone, I'm no good;" she said. "I'm much obliged +to you, but I don't want any charity or probation houses in mine. And +honest work's a thing of the past for me--even if I could get a job. +Nobody would have me. But if they would, I couldn't work any more. +I've got out of the hang of it." With a swift and decisive movement she +crossed the room, opened a cabinet on the wall, revealing a bottle and +glasses. + +"So you're bent upon going--downhill?" he said. + +"What can you do to stop it?" she retorted defiantly, "Give me religion +---I guess you'd tell me. Religion's all right for those on top, but +say, it would be a joke if I got it. There ain't any danger. But if I +did, it wouldn't pay room-rent and board." + +He sat mute. Once more the truth overwhelmed, the folly of his former +optimism arose to mock him. What he beheld now, in its true aspect, was +a disease of that civilization he had championed. . . + +She took the bottle from the cupboard and laid it on the table. + +"What's the difference?" she demanded. "It's all over in a little while, +anyway. I guess you'd tell me there was a hell. But if that's so, some +of your church folks'll broil, too. I'll take my chance on it, if they +will." She looked at him, half in defiance, half in friendliness, across +the table. "Say, you mean all right, but you're only wastin' time here. +You can't do me any good, I tell you, and I've got to get busy." + +"May we not at least remain friends?" he asked, after a moment. + +Her laugh was a little harsh. + +"What kind of friendship would that be? You, a minister, and me a woman +on the town?" + +"If I can stand it, I should think you might." + +"Well, I can't stand it," she answered. + +He got up, and held out his hand. She stood seemingly irresolute, and +then took it. + +"Good night," he said. + +"Good night," she repeated nonchalantly. + +As he went out of the door she called after him: + +"Don't be afraid I'll worry the kid!" + +The stale odour of cigarette smoke with which the dim corridor was +charged intoxicated, threatened to overpower him. It seemed to be the +reek of evil itself. A closing door had a sinister meaning. He hurried; +obscurity reigned below, the light in the lower hall being out; fumbled +for the door-knob, and once in the street took a deep breath and mopped +his brow; but he had not proceeded half a block before he hesitated, +retraced his steps, reentered the vestibule, and stooped to peer at the +cards under the speaking tubes. Cheaply printed in large script, was the +name of the tenant of the second floor rear,--MISS KATE MARCY. . . . + +In crossing Tower Street he was frightened by the sharp clanging of a +great electric car that roared past him, aflame with light. His brain +had seemingly ceased to work, and he stumbled at the curb, for he was +very tired. The events of the day no longer differentiated themselves +in his mind but lay, a composite weight, upon his heart. At length he +reached the silent parish house, climbed the stairs and searched in his +pocket for the key of his rooms. The lock yielded, but while feeling for +the switch he tripped and almost fell over an obstruction on the floor. + +The flooding light revealed his travelling-bags, as he had piled them, +packed and ready to go to the station. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Acceptance of authority is not faith, it is mere credulity +Deification of beauty to the exclusion of all else +Economic slavery +Elaborate attention little men are apt to bestow upon women +I hate humility +I see no one upon whom I can rely but myself +If Christians were logical, they should be Socialists +Immortality as orthodox Christianity depicts it +Impulse had brought him thus far +Indiscriminate, unreasoning self-sacrifice +Religion, I think, should be everybody's (profession) +Seeking a forgiveness out of all proportion to the trespass +St Paul, you say, put us in our proper place +The hours of greatest suffering are the empty hours +Thinking isn't--believing +We must believe, if we believe at all, without authority +When our brief span of usefulness is done +Whole conception of charity is a crime against civilization +You and your religion are as far apart as the poles + + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + +Volume 4. + +XIII. WINTERBOURNE +XIV. A SATURDAY AFTERNOON +XV. THE CRUCIBLE +XVI. AMID THE ENCIRCLING GLOOM + + + + +CHAPTER XIII + +WINTERBOURNE + + +I + +Hodder fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, awaking during the night at +occasional intervals to recall chimerical dreams in which the events of +the day before were reflected, but caricatured and distorted. Alison +Parr was talking to the woman in the flat, and both were changed, and yet +he identified both: and on another occasion he saw a familiar figure +surrounded by romping, ragged children--a figure which turned out to be +Eldon Parr's! + +Finally he was aroused by what seemed a summons from the unknown--the +prolonged morning whistle of the shoe factory. For a while he lay as one +benumbed, and the gradual realization that ensued might be likened to the +straining of stiffened wounds. Little by little he reconstructed, until +the process became unbearable, and then rose from his bed with one object +in mind,--to go to Horace Bentley. At first--he seized upon the excuse +that Mr. Bentley would wish to hear the verdict of Dr. Jarvis, but +immediately abandoned it as dishonest, acknowledging the true reason, +that in all the--world the presence of this one man alone might assuage +in some degree the terror in his soul. For the first time in his life, +since childhood, he knew a sense of utter dependence upon another human +being. He felt no shame, would make no explanation for his early visit. + +He turned up Tower, deliberately avoiding Dalton Street in its lower +part, reached Mr. Bentley's door. The wrinkled, hospitable old darky +actually seemed to radiate something of the personality with which he had +so long been associated, and Hodder was conscious of a surge of relief, +a return of confidence at sight of him. Yes, Mr. Bentley was at home, +in the dining room. The rector said he would wait, and not disturb him. + +"He done tole me to bring you out, sah, if you come," said Sam. + +"He expects me?" exclaimed Hodder, with a shock of surprise. + +"That's what he done tole me, sah, to ax you kindly for to step out when +you come." + +The sun was beginning to penetrate into the little back yard, where the +flowers were still glistening with the drops of their morning bath; and +Mr. Bentley sat by the window reading his newspaper, his spectacles on +his nose, and a great grey cat rubbing herself against his legs. He rose +with alacrity. + +"Good morning, sir," he said, and his welcome implied that early morning +visits were the most common and natural of occurrences. "Sam, a plate +for Mr. Hodder. I was just hoping you would come and tell me what Dr. +Jarvis had said about the case." + +But Hodder was not deceived. He believed that Mr. Bentley understood +perfectly why he had come, and the knowledge of the old gentleman's +comprehension curiously added to his sense of refuge. He found himself +seated once more at the mahogany table, permitting Sam to fill his cup +with coffee. + +"Jarvis has given a favourable report, and he is coming this morning +himself, in an automobile, to take the boy out to the hospital." + +"That is like Jarvis," was Mr. Bentley's comment. "We will go there, +together, after breakfast, if convenient for you," he added. + +"I hoped you would," replied the rector. "And I was going to ask +you a favour. I have a check, given me by a young lady to use at my +discretion, and it occurred to me that Garvin might be willing to accept +some proposal from you." He thought of Nan Ferguson, and of the hope he +lead expressed of finding some one in Dalton Street. + +"I have been considering the matter," Mr. Bentley said. "I have a friend +who lives on the trolley line a little beyond the hospital, a widow. It +is like the country there, you know, and I think Mrs. Bledsoe could be +induced to take the Garvins. And then something can be arranged for him. +I will find an opportunity to speak to him this morning." + +Hodder sipped his coffee, and looked out at the morning-glories opening +to the sun. + +"Mrs. Garvin was alone last night. He had gone out shortly after we +left, and had not waited for the doctor. She was greatly worried." + +Hodder found himself discussing these matters on which, an hour before, +he had feared to permit his mind to dwell. And presently, not without +feeling, but in a manner eliminating all account of his personal +emotions, he was relating that climactic episode of the woman at the +piano. The old gentleman listened intently, and in silence. + +"Yes," he said, when the rector had finished, "that is my observation. +Most of them are driven to the life, and held in it, of course, by a +remorseless civilization. Individuals may be culpable, Mr. Hodder--are +culpable. But we cannot put the whole responsibility on individuals." + +"No," Hodder assented, "I can see that now." He paused a moment, and as +his mind dwelt upon the scene and he saw again the woman standing before +him in bravado, the whole terrible meaning of her life and end flashed +through him as one poignant sensation. Her dauntless determination to +accept the consequence of her acts, her willingness to look her future in +the face, cried out to him in challenge. + +"She refused unconditionally," he said. + +Mr. Bentley seemed to read his thought, divine his appeal. + +"We must wait," he answered. + +"Do you think?--" Hodder began, and stopped abruptly. + +"I remember another case, somewhat similar," said Mr. Bentley. "This +woman, too, had the spirit you describe--we could do nothing with her. +We kept an eye on her--or rather Sally Grover did--she deserves credit-- +and finally an occasion presented itself." + +And the woman you speak of was--rehabilitated? "Hodder asked. +He avoided the word "saved." + +"Yes, sir. It was one of the fortunate cases. There are others which +are not so fortunate." + +Hodder nodded. + +"We are beginning to recognize that we are dealing, in, many instances, +with a disease," Mr. Bentley went on. "I am far from saying that it +cannot be cured, but sometimes we are forced to admit that the cure is +not within our power, Mr. Hodder." + +Two thoughts struck the rector simultaneously, the: revelation of what +might be called a modern enlightenment in one of Mr. Bentley's age, an +indication of uninterrupted growth, of the sense of continued youth which +had impressed him from the beginning; and, secondly, an intimation from +the use of the plural pronoun we, of an association of workers (informal, +undoubtedly) behind Mr. Bentley. While he was engaged in these +speculations the door opened. + +"Heah's Miss Sally, Marse Ho'ace," said Sam. + +"Good morning, Sally," said Mr. Bentley, rising from the table with his +customary courtesy, "I'm glad you came in. Let me introduce Mr. Hodder, +of St. John's." + +Miss Grover had capability written all over her. She was a young woman +of thirty, slim to spareness, simply dressed in a shirtwaist and a dark +blue skirt; alert, so distinctly American in type as to give a suggestion +of the Indian. Her quick, deep-set eyes searched Hodder's face as she +jerked his hand; but her greeting was cordial, and, matter-of-fact. She +stimulated curiosity. + +"Well, Sally, what's the news?" Mr. Bentley asked. + +"Gratz, the cabinet-maker, was on the rampage again, Mr. Bentley. His +wife was here yesterday when I got home from work, and I went over with +her. He was in a beastly state, and all the niggers and children in the +neighbourhood, including his own, around the shop. Fusel oil, labelled +whiskey," she explained, succinctly. + +"What did you do?" + +"Took the bottle away from him," said Miss Grower. The simplicity of +this method, Holder thought, was undeniable. "Stayed there until he came +to. Then I reckon I scared him some." + +"How?" Mr. Bentley smiled. + +"I told him he'd have to see you. He'd rather serve three months than do +that--said so. I reckon he would, too," she declared grimly. "He's +better than lie was last year, I think." She thrust her hand in the +pocket of her skirt and produced some bills and silver, which she +counted. "Here's three thirty-five from Sue Brady. I told her she +hadn't any business bothering you, but she swears she'd spend it." + +"That was wrong, Sally." + +Miss Grower tossed her head. + +"Oh, she knew I'd take it, well enough." + +"I imagine she did," Mr. Bentley replied, and his eyes twinkled. He rose +and led the way into the library, where he opened his desk, produced a +ledger, and wrote down the amount in a fine hand. + +"Susan Brady, three dollars and thirty-five cents. I'll put it in the +savings bank to-day. That makes twenty-two dollars and forty cents for +Sue. She's growing rich." + +"Some man'll get it," said Sally. + +Sally," said Mr. Bentley, turning in his chair, "Mr. Holder's been +telling me about a rather unusual woman in that apartment house just +above Fourteenth Street, on the south side of Dalton." + +"I think I know her--by sight," Sally corrected herself. She appealed. +to Holder. "Red hair, and lots of it--I suppose a man would call it +auburn. She must have been something of a beauty, once." + +The rector assented, in some astonishment. + +"Couldn't do anything with her, could you? I reckoned not. I've noticed +her up and down Dalton Street at night." + +Holder was no longer deceived by her matter-of-fact tone. + +"I'll tell you what, Mr. Holder," she went on, energetically, "there's +not a particle of use running after those people, and the sooner you find +it out the less worry and trouble you give yourself." + +"Mr. Holder didn't run after her, Sally," said Mr. Bentley, in gentle +reproof. + +Holder smiled. + +"Well," said Miss Grower, "I've had my eye on her. She has a history-- +most of 'em have. But this one's out of the common. When they're brazen +like that, and have had good looks, you can nearly always tell. You've. +got to wait for something to happen, and trust to luck to be on the spot, +or near it. It's a toss-up, of course. One thing is sure, you can't +make friends with that kind if they get a notion you're up to anything." + +"Sally, you must remember--" Mr. Bentley began. + +Her tone became modified. Mr. Bentley was apparently the only human of +whom she stood in awe. + +"All I meant was," she said, addressing the rector, "that you've got to +run across 'em in some natural way." + +"I understood perfectly, and I agree with you," Holder replied. "I have +come, quite recently, to the same conclusion myself." + +She gave him a penetrating glance, and he had to admit, inwardly, that a +certain satisfaction followed Miss Grower's approval. + +"Mercy, I have to be going," she exclaimed, glancing at the black marble +clock on the mantel. "We've got a lot of invoices to put through to-day. +See you again, Mr. Holder." She jerked his hand once more. "Good +morning, Mr. Bentley." + +"Good morning, Sally." + +Mr. Bentley rose, and took his hat and gold-headed stick from the rack in +the hall. + +"You mustn't mind Sally," he said, when they had reached the sidewalk. +"Sometimes her brusque manner is not understood. But she is a very +extraordinary woman." + +"I can see that," the rector assented quickly, and with a heartiness +that dispelled all doubt of his liking for Miss Grower. Once more many +questions rose to his lips, which he suppressed, since Mr. Bentley +volunteered no information. Hodder became, in fact, so lost in +speculation concerning Mr. Bentley's establishment as to forget the +errand on which--they were bound. And Sally Grower's words, apropos of +the woman in the flat, seemed but an energetic driving home of the severe +lessons of his recent experiences. And how blind he had been, he +reflected, not to have seen the thing for himself! Not to have realized +the essential artificiality of his former method of approach! And then +it struck him that Sally Grower herself must have had a history. + +Mr. Bentley, too, was preoccupied. + +Presently, in the midst of these thoughts, Hodder's eyes were arrested by +a crowd barring the sidewalk on the block ahead; no unusual sight in that +neighbourhood, and yet one which aroused in him sensations of weakness +and nausea. Thus were the hidden vice and suffering of these sinister +places occasionally brought to light, exposed to the curious and morbid +stares of those whose own turn might come on the morrow. It was only by +degrees he comprehended that the people were gathered in front of the +house to which they were bound. An ambulance was seen to drive away: it +turned into the aide street in front of them. + +"A city ambulance!" the rector exclaimed. + +Mr. Bentley did not reply. + +The murmuring group which overflowed the uneven brick pavement to the +asphalt was characteristic: women in calico, drudges, women in wrappers, +with sleepy, awestricken faces; idlers, men and boys who had run out of +the saloons, whose comments were more audible and caustic, and a fringe +of children ceaselessly moving on the outskirts. The crowd parted at +their approach, and they reached the gate, where a burly policeman, his +helmet in his hand, was standing in the morning sunlight mopping his face +with a red handkerchief. He greeted Mr. Bentley respectfully, by name, +and made way for them to pass in. + +"What is the trouble, Ryan?" Mr. Bentley asked. + +"Suicide, sir," the policeman replied. "Jumped off the bridge this +morning. A tug picked him up, but he never came to--the strength wasn't +in him. Sure it's all wore out he was. There was a letter on him, with +the home number, so they knew where to fetch him. It's a sad case, sir, +with the woman in there, and the child gone to the hospital not an hour +ago." + +"You mean Garvin?" Mr. Bentley demanded. + +"It's him I mean, sir." + +"We'd like to go in," said Mr. Bentley. "We came to see them." + +"You're welcome, air, and the minister too. It's only them I'm holdin' +back," and the policeman shook his stick at the people. + +Mr. Bentley walked up the steps, and took off his hat as he went through +the battered doorway. Hodder followed, with a sense of curious faces +staring at them from the thresholds as they passed; they reached the +upper passage, and the room, and paused: the shutters were closed, the +little couch where the child had been was empty. On the bed lay a form- +covered with a sheet, and beside it a woman kneeling, shaken by sobs, +ceaselessly calling a name . . . . + +A stout figure, hitherto unperceived, rose from a corner and came +silently toward them--Mrs. Breitmann. She beckoned to them, and they +followed her into a room on the same floor, where she told them what she +knew, heedless of the tears coursing ceaselessly down her cheeks. + +It seemed that Mrs. Garvin had had a premonition which she had not wholly +confided to the rector. She had believed her husband never would come +back; and early in the morning, in spite of all that Mrs. Breitmann could +do, had insisted at intervals upon running downstairs and scanning the +street. At half past seven Dr. Jarvis had come and himself carried down +the child and put him in the back of his automobile. The doctor had had +a nurse with him, and had begged the mother to accompany them to the +hospital, saying that he would send her back. But she would not be +persuaded to leave the house. The doctor could not wait, and had finally +gone off with little. Dicky, leaving a powder with Mrs. Breitmann for +the mother. Then she had become uncontrollable. + +"Ach, it was terrible!" said the kind woman. "She was crazy, yes--she +was not in her mind. I make a little coffee, but she will not touch it. +All those things about her home she would talk of, and how good he was, +and how she lofed him more again than the child. + +"Und then the wheels in the street, and she makes a cry and runs to see-- +I cannot hold her . . . ." + +"It would be well not to disturb her for a while," said Mr. Bentley, +seating himself on one of the dilapidated chairs which formed apart of +the German woman's meagre furniture. "I will remain here if you, Mr. +Hodder, will make the necessary arrangements for the funeral. Have you +any objections, sir?" + +"Not at all," replied the rector, and left the house, the occupants of +which had already returned to the daily round of their lives: the rattle +of dishes and the noise of voices were heard in the 'ci devant' parlour, +and on the steps he met the little waif with the pitcher of beer; in the +street the boys who had gathered around the ambulance were playing +baseball. Hodder glanced up, involuntarily, at the window of the woman +he had visited the night before, but it was empty. He hurried along the +littered sidewalks to the drug store, where he telephoned an undertaker; +and then, as an afterthought, telephoned the hospital. The boy had +arrived, and was seemingly no worse for the journey. + +All this Hodder performed mechanically. Not until he was returning--not, +indeed, until he entered the house did the whiff of its degrading, heated +odours bring home to him the tragedy which it held, and he grasped the +banister on the stairs. The thought that shook him now was of the +cumulative misery of the city, of the world, of which this history on +which he had stumbled was but one insignificant incident. But he went on +into Mrs. Breitmann's room, and saw Mr. Bentley still seated where he had +left him. The old gentleman looked up at him. + +"Mrs. Breitmann and I are agreed, Mr. Hodder, that Mrs. Garvin ought not +to remain in there. What do you think?" + +"By all means, no," said the rector. + +The German woman burst into a soliloquy of sympathy that became +incoherent. + +"She will not leave him,--nein--she will not come. . . ." + +They went, the three of them, to the doorway of the death chamber and +stood gazing at the huddled figure of the woman by the bedside. She had +ceased to cry out: she was as one grown numb under torture; occasionally +a convulsive shudder shook her. But when Mrs. Breitmann touched her, +spoke to her, her grief awoke again in all its violence, and it was more +by force than persuasion that she was finally removed. Mrs. Breitmann +held one arm, Mr. Bentley another, and between them they fairly carried +her out, for she was frail indeed. + +As for Hodder, something held him back--some dread that he could not at +once define. And while he groped for it, he stood staring at the man on +the bed, for the hand of love had drawn back the sheet from the face. +The battle was over of this poor weakling against the world; the torments +of haunting fear and hate, of drink and despair had triumphed. The sight +of the little group of toys brought up the image of the home in Alder +Street as the wife had pictured it. Was it possible that this man, who +had gone alone to the bridge in the night, had once been happy, content +with life, grateful for it, possessed of a simple trust in his fellow- +men--in Eldon Parr? Once more, unsummoned, came the memory of that +evening of rain and thunder in the boy's room at the top of the great +horse in Park Street. He had pitied Eldon Parr then. Did he now? + +He crossed the room, on tiptoe, as though he feared to wake once more +this poor wretch to his misery and hate, Gently he covered again the face +with the sheet. + +Suddenly he knew the reason of his dread,--he had to face the woman! +He was a minister of Christ, it was his duty to speak to her, as he had +spoken to others in the hour of sorrow and death, of the justice and +goodness of the God to whom she had prayed in the church. What should he +say, now? In an agony of spirit, he sat down on the little couch beside +the window and buried his face in his hands. The sight of poor Garvin's +white and wasted features, the terrible contrast between this miserable +tenement and the palace with its unseen pictures and porcelains and +tapestries, brought home to him with indescribable poignancy his own +predicament. He was going to ask this woman to be comforted by faith and +trust in the God of the man who had driven her husband to death! He +beheld Eldon Parr in his pew complacently worshipping that God, who had +rewarded him with riches and success--beheld himself as another man in +his white surplice acquiescing in that God, preaching vainly . . . . + +At last he got to his feet, went out of the room, reached the doorway of +that other room and looked in. Mr. Bentley sat there; and the woman, +whose tears had ceased to flow, was looking up into his face. + + + +II + +"The office ensuing," says the Book of Common Prayer, meaning the Burial +of the Dead, "is not to be used for any Unbaptized adult, any who die +excommunicate, or who have laid violent hands on themselves." + +Hodder had bought, with a part of Nan Ferguson's money, a tiny plot in a +remote corner of Winterbourne Cemetery. And thither, the next morning, +the body of Richard Garvin was taken. + +A few mourners had stolen into the house and up the threadbare stairs +into the miserable little back room, somehow dignified as it had never +been before, and laid their gifts upon the coffin. An odd and pitiful +assortment they were--mourners and gifts: men and women whose only bond +with the man in life had been the bond of misery; who had seen him as he +had fared forth morning after morning in the hopeless search for work, +and slunk home night after night bitter and dejected; many of whom had +listened, jeeringly perhaps, to his grievance against the world, though +it were in some sort their own. Death, for them, had ennobled him. The +little girl whom Hodder had met with the pitcher of beer came tiptoeing +with a wilted bunch of pansies, picked heaven knows where; stolen, maybe, +from one of the gardens of the West End. Carnations, lilies of the +valley, geraniums even--such were the offerings scattered loosely on the +lid until a woman came with a mass of white roses that filled the room +with their fragrance,--a woman with burnished red hair. Hodder started +as he recognized her; her gaze was a strange mixture of effrontery and-- +something else; sorrow did not quite express it. The very lavishness of +her gift brought to him irresistibly the reminder of another offering. +. . . . She was speaking. + +"I don't blame him for what he done--I'd have done it, too, if I'd been +him. But say, I felt kind of bad when I heard it, knowing about the kid, +and all. I had to bring something--" + +Instinctively Hodder surmised that she was in doubt as to the acceptance +of her flowers. He took them from her hand, and laid them at the foot of +the coffin. + +"Thank you," he said, simply. + +She stared at him a moment with the perplexity she had shown at times on +the night he visited her, and went out. . . + +Funerals, if they might be dignified by this name, were not infrequent +occurrences in Dalton Street, and why this one should have been looked +upon as of sufficient importance to collect a group of onlookers at the +gate it is difficult to say. Perhaps it was because of the seeming +interest in it of the higher powers--for suicide and consequent widows +and orphans were not unknown there. This widow and this orphan were to +be miraculously rescued, were to know Dalton Street no more. The rector +of a fashionable church, of all beings, was the agent in the miracle. +Thus the occasion was tinged with awe. As for Mr. Bentley, his was a +familiar figure, and had been remarked in Dalton Street funerals before. + +They started, the three mourners, on the long drive to the cemetery, +through unfrequented streets lined with mediocre dwellings, interspersed +with groceries and saloons--short cuts known only to hearse drivers: they +traversed, for some distance, that very Wilderness road where Mr. +Bentley's old-fashioned mansion once had stood on its long green slope, +framed by ancient trees; the Wilderness road, now paved with hot blocks +of granite over which the carriage rattled; spread with car tracks, +bordered by heterogeneous buildings of all characters and descriptions, +bakeries and breweries, slaughter houses and markets, tumble-down +shanties, weedy corner lots and "refreshment-houses" that announced +"Lager Beer, Wines and Liquors." At last they came to a region which was +neither country nor city, where the road-houses were still in evidence, +where the glass roofs of greenhouses caught the burning rays of the sun, +where yards filled with marble blocks and half-finished tombstones +appeared, and then they turned into the gates of Winterbourne. + +Like the city itself, there was a fashionable district in Winterbourne: +unlike the city, this district remained stationary. There was no soot +here, and if there had been, the dead would not have minded it. They +passed the Prestons and the Parrs; the lots grew smaller, the tombstones +less pretentious; and finally they came to an open grave on a slope where +the trees were still young, and where three men of the cemetery force +lifted the coffin from the hearse--Richard Garvin's pallbearers. + +John Hodder might not read the service, but there was none to tell him +that the Gospel of John was not written for this man. He stood an the +grass beside the grave, and a breeze from across the great river near by +stirred the maple leaves above his head. "I am the resurrection and the +life, saith the Lord; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet +shall he live." Nor was there any canon to forbid the words of Paul: +"It is sown in corruption; it is raised in in corruption; it is sown in +dishonour; it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness; it is raised in +power; it is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body." + +They laid the flowers on the fresh earth, even the white roses, and then +they drove back to the city. + + + + + +CHAPTER XIV + +A SATURDAY AFTERNOON + + +I + +The sight of a certain old gentleman as he walked along the shady side of +Twenty-second Street about two o'clock on a broiling Saturday afternoon +in midsummer was one not easily to be forgotten. A younger man, tall and +vigorous, clad in a thin suit of blue serge, walked by his side. They +were followed by a shouting troop of small boys who overran the +pavements, and some of whom were armed with baseball bats. The big +trolley car was hailed by a dozen dirty little hands. + +Even the grumpy passengers were disarmed. The conductor took Mr. +Bentley's bill deprecatingly, as much as to say that the newly organized +Traction Company--just out of the receivers' hands--were the Moloch, not +he, and rang off the fares under protest. And Mr. Bentley, as had been +his custom for years, sat down and took off his hat, and smiled so +benignly at those around him that they immediately began to talk, to him. +It was always irresistible, this desire to talk to Mr. Bentley. If you +had left your office irritated and out of sorts, your nerves worn to an +edge by the uninterrupted heat, you invariably got off at your corner +feeling better. It was Phil Goodrich who had said that Horace Bentley +had only to get on a Tower Street car to turn it into a church. And if +he had chosen to establish that 'dernier cri' of modern civilization +where ladies go who have 'welt-schmerz' without knowing why,-- +a sanitarium, he might have gained back again all the money he had lost +in giving his Grantham stock to Eldon Parr. + +Like the Pied Piper of Hamelin, he could have emptied Dalton Street of +its children. In the first place, there was the irresistible inducement +to any boy to ride several miles on a trolley without having this right +challenged by the irate guardian of the vehicle, without being summarily +requested to alight at twenty-five miles an hour: in the second place, +there was the soda water and sweet biscuit partaken of after the baseball +game in that pavilion, more imposing in one's eyes than the Taj Mahal. +Mr. Bentley would willingly have taken all Dalton Street. He had his own +'welt-schmerz', though he did not go to a sanitarium to cure it; he was +forced to set an age limit of ten, and then establish a high court of +appeal; for there were boys whose biographies, if they are ever written, +will be as hazy as those of certain world-wide celebrities who might be +mentioned concerning the date and exact spot of the entrance of their +heroes into the light. The solemn protestations, the tears, +the recrimination even, brought pangs to the old gentleman's heart, +for with all the will in the world he had been forced in the nature +of things, to set a limit. + +This limit had recently been increased by the unlooked-for appearance on +these excursions of the tall man in the blue serge suit, whose knowledge +of the national game and of other matters of vital import to youth was +gratifying if sometimes disconcerting; who towered, an unruffled +Gulliver, over their Lilliputian controversies, in which bats were waved +and fists brought into play and language used on the meaning of which +the Century dictionary is silent. On one former occasion, indeed, +Mr. Bentley had found moral suasion, affection, and veneration of no +avail, and had had to invoke the friendly aid of a park policeman to +quell one of these incipient riots. To Mr. Bentley baseball was as a +sealed book. The tall man's justice, not always worthy of the traditions +of Solomon, had in it an element of force. To be lifted off the ground +by strong arms at the moment you are about to dust the home plate with +your adversary is humiliating, but effective. It gradually became +apparent that a decision was a decision. And one Saturday this +inexplicable person carried in his hand a mysterious package which, when +opened, revealed two pairs of diminutive boxing gloves. They instantly +became popular. + +By the time they had made the accidental and somewhat astounding +discovery that he was a parson, they were willing to overlook it; in +view, perhaps, of his compensating accomplishments. Instead of advising +them to turn the other cheek, he taught them uppercuts, feints, and jabs, +and on the proof of this unexpected acquaintance with a profession all of +them openly admired, the last vestige of reserve disappeared. He was +accepted without qualifications. + + + +II + +Although the field to which they resorted was not in the most frequented +section of the park, pedestrians often passed that way, and sometimes +lingered. Thus, towards the close of a certain Saturday in July, a young +woman walked out of the wood path and stood awhile gazing intently at the +active figure striding among the diminutive, darting forms. Presently, +with an amused expression, she turned her head to discover Mr. Bentley, +who sat on a green bench under a tree, his hat and stick on the grass +beside him. She was unaware that he had been looking at her. + +"Aren't they having a good time!" she said, and the genuine thrill in her +voice betrayed a rare and unmistakable pleasure. + +"Ah," replied Mr. Bentley, smiling back at her, "you like to see them, +too. Most persons do. Children are not meant for the city, my dear +young lady, their natural home is in the woods and fields, and these +little fellows are a proof of it. When they come out here, they run +wild. You perceive," he added with a twinkle, as an expletive of +unquestionable vigour was hurled across the diamond, "they are not +always so polite as they might be." + +The young woman smiled again, but the look she gave him was a puzzled +one. And then, quite naturally, she sank, down on the grass, on the +other side of Mr. Bentley's hat, watching the game for a while in +silence. + +"What a tyrant!" she exclaimed. Another uproar had been quelled, +and two vigorously protesting runners sent back to their former bases. + +"Oh, a benevolent tyrant," Mr. Bentley corrected her. "Mr. Hodder has +the gift of managing boys,--he understands them. And they require a +strong hand. His generation has had the training which mine lacked. In +my day, at college, we worked off our surplus energy on the unfortunate +professors, and we carried away chapel bells and fought with the +townspeople." + +It required some effort, she found, to imagine this benevolent looking +old gentleman assaulting professors. + +"Nowadays they play baseball and football, and box!" He pointed to the +boxing gloves on the grass. "Mr. Hodder has taught them to settle their +differences in that way; it is much more sensible." + +She picked off the white clover-tops. + +"So that is Mr. Hodder, of St. John's," she said. + +"Ah, you know him, then?" + +I've met him," she answered quietly. "Are these children connected with +his church?" + +"They are little waifs from Dalton Street and that vicinity," said Mr. +Bentley. "Very few of them, I should imagine, have ever been inside of a +church." + +She seemed surprised. + +"But--is it his habit to bring them out here?" The old gentleman beamed +on her, perhaps with the hint of a smile at her curiosity. + +"He has found time for it, this summer. It is very good of him." + +She refrained from comment on this remark, falling into reflection, +leaning back, with one hand outstretched, on the grass. The game went on +vociferously, the shrill lithe voices piercing the silence of the summer +afternoon. Mr. Bentley's eyes continued to rest on her. + +"Tell me," he inquired, after a while, "are you not Alison Parr?" + +She glanced up at him, startled. "Yes." + +"I thought so, although I have not seen you since you were a little girl. +I knew your mother very well indeed, but it is too much to expect you to +remember me, after all this time. No doubt you have forgotten my name. +I am Mr. Bentley." + +"Mr. Bentley!" she cried, sitting upright and gazing at him. "How stupid +of me not to have known you! You couldn't have been any one else." + +It was the old gentleman's turn to start. She rose impulsively and sat +down on the bench beside him, and his hand trembled as he laid it in +hers. + +"Yes, my dear, I am still alive. But surely you cannot remember me, +Alison?" + +The old look of almost stubborn honesty he recalled in the child came +into her eyes. + +"I do--and I don't," she said, perplexed. "It seemed to me as if I ought +to have recognized you when I came up, and yet I hadn't the slightest +notion who you were. I knew you were somebody." + +He shook his head, but did not speak. + +"But you have always been a fact in my existence--that is what I want to +say," she went on. "It must be possible to remember a person and not +recognize him, that is what I feel. I can remember you coming to our +house in Ransome Street, and how I looked forward to your visits. And +you used to have little candy beans in your pockets," she cried. "Have +you now?" + +His eyes were a little dimmed as he reached, smilingly, into the skirts +of a somewhat shiny but scrupulously brushed coat and produced a brightly +colored handful. She took one, and put it in her mouth: + +"Oh," she said, "how good they were--Isn't it strange how a taste brings +back events? I can remember it all as if it were yesterday, and how I +used to sit on your knee, and mother would tell me not to bother you." + +"And now--you are grown," he said. + +"Something more than grown," she smiled. "I was thirty-one in May. +Tell me," she asked, choosing another of the beans which he still +absently held, "do you get them for these?" And she nodded toward the +Dalton Street waifs. + +"Yes," he said, "they are children, too." + +"I can remember," she said, after a pause, "I can remember my mother +speaking of you to me the year she died. I was almost grown, then. It +was after we had moved up to Park Street, and her health had already +begun to fail. That made an impression on me, but I have forgotten what +she said--it was apropos of some recollection. No--it was a photograph-- +she was going over some old things." Alison ceased speaking abruptly, +for the pain in Mr. Bentley's remarkable grey eyes had not escaped her. +What was it about him? Why could she not recall? Long-forgotten, +shadowy episodes of the past tormented her, flitted provokingly through +her mind--ungrasped: words dropped in her presence which had made their +impression, but the gist of which was gone. Why had Mr. Bentley ceased +coming to the house? So strongly did she feel his presence now that the +thought occurred to her,--perhaps her mother had not wished her to forget +him! + +"I did not suspect," she heard him saying, "that you would go out into +the world and create the beautiful gardens of which I have heard. But +you had no lack of spirit in those days, too." + +"I was a most disagreeable child, perverse,--cantankerous--I can hear my +mother saying it! As for the gardens--they have given me something to +do, they have kept me out of mischief. I suppose I ought to be thankful, +but I still have the rebellious streak when I see what others have done, +what others are doing, and I sometimes wonder what right I ever had to +think that I might create something worth while." + +He glanced at her quickly as she sat with bent head. + +"Others put a higher value on what you have done." + +"Oh, they don't know--" she exclaimed. + +If something were revealed to him by her tone, he did not betray it, but +went on cheerfully. + +"You have been away a long time, Alison. It must interest you to come +back, and see the changes in our Western civilization. We are moving +very rapidly--in certain directions," he corrected himself. + +She appraised his qualification. + +"In certain directions,--yes. But they are little better in the East. +I have scarcely been back," she added, "since I went to Paris to study. +I have often thought I should like to return and stay awhile, only-- +I never seemed to get time. Now I am going over a garden for my father +which was one of my first efforts, and which has always reproached me." + +"And you do not mind the heat?" he asked. "Those who go East to live +return to find our summers oppressive." + +"Oh, I'm a salamander, I think," Alison laughed. + +Thus they sat chatting, interrupted once or twice by urchins too small +to join in the game, who came running to Mr. Bentley and stood staring +at Alison as at a being beyond the borders of experience: and she would +smile at them quite as shyly,--children being beyond her own. Her +imagination was as keen, as unspoiled as a child's, and was stimulated by +a sense of adventure, of the mystery which hung about this fine old +gentleman who betrayed such sentiment for a mother whom she had loved and +admired and still secretly mourned. Here, if there had been no other, +was a compelling bond of sympathy . . . . + +The shadows grew longer, the game broke up. And Hodder, surrounded by +an argumentative group keeping pace with him, came toward them from the +field; Alison watched him curiously as he turned this way and that to +answer the insistent questions with which he was pelted, and once she saw +him stride rapidly after a dodging delinquent and seize him by the collar +amidst piercing yells of approval, and derision for the rebel. + +"It's remarkable how he gets along with them," said Mr. Bentley, smiling +at the scene. "Most of them have never known what discipline is." + +The chorus approached. And Hodder, recognizing her, dropped the collar +he held: A young woman conversing with Mr. Bentley--was no unusual sight, +--he had made no speculations as to this one's identity. He left the +boys, and drew near. + +"You know Miss Parr, I believe," the old gentleman said. + +Hodder took her hand. He had often tried to imagine his feelings if he +should meet her again: what he should do and say,--what would be their +footing. And now he had no time to prepare . . . . + +"It is so strange, she said, with that note of wonder at life in her +voice which he recalled so well, "that I should have come across Mr. +Bentley here after so many years. How many years, Mr. Bentley?" + +"Ah, my dear," he protested, "my measurements would not be yours." + +"It is better for both of us not to say, Alison declared, laughingly. + +"You knew Mr. Bentley?" asked Hodder, astonished. + +"He was a very dear friend of my mother's, although I used to appropriate +him when he came to our house. It was when we lived in Ransome Street, +ages ago. But I don't think Mr. Bentley has grown a bit older." + +"He is one of the few who have found the secret of youth," said the +rector. + +But the old gentleman had moved off into the path, or perhaps it would be +more accurate to say that he was carried off by the swarm which clustered +around him, two smaller ones tugging at his hand, and all intent upon +arriving at the soda-water pavilion near the entrance. They had followed +him with their eyes, and they saw him turn around and smile at them, +helplessly. Alison presented a perplexed face to Hodder. + +"Does he bring them here,--or you?" she asked. + +"I--" he hesitated. "Mr. Bentley has done this every Saturday afternoon +for years," he said, "I am merely one of them." + +She looked at him quickly. They had started to follow, in the cool path +beneath the forest trees. Restraint fell upon them, brought about by the +memory of the intimacy of their former meeting, further complicated on +Hodder's part by his new attitude toward her father, and his finding her +in the company, of all persons, of Mr. Bentley. Unuttered queries +pressed on the minds of both. + +"Tell me about Mr. Bentley," she said. + +Hodder hesitated. + +"I scarcely know where to begin," he replied, yet smiling at the +characteristic abruptness of her question. The modulations of her voice +revealed again the searching, inquisitive spirit within her, and his +responded to the intensity of the interest in Mr. Bentley. + +"Begin anywhere." + +"Anywhere?" he repeated, seeking to gain time. Yes--anywhere," she said +impatiently. + +"Well, he lives in Dalton Street, if you recall what kind of a place that +is" (she nodded), "and he is known from one end of it to the other." + +"I see what he is--he is the most extraordinary person I have ever known. +Just to talk to him gives one such a queer feeling of--of dissatisfaction +with one's self, and seeing him once more seems to have half revived in +me a whole series of dead memories. And I have been trying to think, but +it is all so tantalizing. There is some mystery about him," she +insisted. "He disappeared suddenly, and my mother never mentioned him +but once afterward, but other persons have spoken of him since--I forget +who. He was so well known, and he used to go to St. John's." + +"Yes, he used to go to St. John's." + +"What happened to him--do you know? The reason he stopped coming to our +house was some misunderstanding with my father, of course. I am positive +my mother never changed her feelings toward him." + +"I can only tell you what he has told me, which is all I know-- +authoritatively," Hodder replied. How could he say to her that her +father had ruined Mr. Bentley? Indeed, with a woman of her fearlessness +and honesty--and above all, her intuition,--he felt the cruelty of his +position keenly. Hodder did not relish half truths; and he felt +that, however scant his intercourse in the future might be with Alison +Parr, he would have liked to have kept it on that basis of frankness in +which it had begun. But the exact stage of disillusionment she had +reached in regard to Eldon Parr was unknown to him, and he feared that +a further revelation might possibly sever the already precarious tie +between father and daughter. + +He recounted, therefore, that Mr. Bentley had failed; and how he had +before that given much of his estate away in charity, how he had been +unable to keep his pew in St. John's, and had retired to the house in +Dalton Street. + +For some moments after he had finished Alison did not reply. + +"What is his number in Dalton Street?" she asked. + +Hodder informed her. + +He could not read in her face whether she suspected that he could have +told her more. And in spite of an inordinate, human joy in being again +in her presence, his desire to hide from her that which had taken place +within him, and the inability he felt to read his future, were +instinctive: the more so because of the very spontaneity they had +achieved at their first meeting. As a man, he shrank from confessing +to her, however indirectly, the fact that she herself was so vital an +element in his disillusionment. For the conversation in the garden had +been the immediate cause of the inner ferment ending in his resolution to +go away, and had directed him, by logical steps, to the encounter in the +church with Mrs. Garvin. + +"You have not yet finished the garden?" he asked. "I imagined you back +in the East by this time." + +"Oh, I am procrastinating," she replied. "It is a fit of sheer laziness. +I ought to be elsewhere, but I was born without a conscience. If I had +one I should try to quiet it by reminding it that I am fulfilling a long- +delayed promise--I am making a garden for Mrs. Larrabbee. You know her, +of course, since she is a member of your congregation." + +"Yes, I know her," he assented. And his mind was suddenly filled with +vivid colour,--cobalt seas, and arsenic-green spruces with purple cones, +cardinal-striped awnings that rattled in the salt breeze, and he saw once +more the panorama of the life which had passed from him and the woman in +the midst of it. And his overwhelming thought was of relief that he had +somehow escaped. In spite of his unhappiness now, he would not have gone +back. He realized for the first time that he had been nearer +annihilation then than to-day. + +"Grace isn't here to bother me with the ideas she has picked up in Europe +and catalogued," Alison continued. + +"Catalogued!" Hodder exclaimed, struck by the pertinency of the word. + +"Yes. Did you ever know anybody who had succeeded half so well in +piecing together and absorbing into a harmonized whole all the divergent, +artificial elements that enter into the conventional world to-day? Her +character might be called a triumph of synthesis. For she has actually +achieved an individuality--that is what always surprises me when I think +of her. She has put the puzzle picture together, she has become a +person." + +He remembered, with a start, that this was the exact word Mrs. Larrabbee +had used about Alison Parr. If he had searched the world, he could not +have found a greater contrast than that between these two women. And +when she spoke again, he was to be further struck by her power of logical +insight. + +"Grace wants me because she thinks I have become the fashion--for the +same reason that Charlotte Plimpton wants me. Only there is this +difference--Grace will know the exact value of what I shall have done. +Not that she thinks me a Le Notre"--Alison laughed--"What I mean is, she +sees behind, she sees why it is fashionable to have a garden, since she +has worked out the values of that existence. But there!" Alison added, +with a provocative touch that did not escape him, "I am picking your +parishioners to pieces again." + +"You have more right than I," he replied, "they have been your friends +since childhood." + +"I thought you had gone away," she said. + +"Why?" he demanded. Had she been to church again? + +"My father told me before he left that you were to take a cruise with him +on the yacht he has chartered." + +"He wrote me from New York--I was unable to go," Hodder said slowly. + +He felt her gaze upon him, but resolutely refused to meet it. . . . +They walked on in silence until they came to the more open spaces near +the edge of the Park, thronged that Saturday evening by crowds which had +sought the, city's breathing space. Perfect trees cast long, fantastic +shadows across the lawns, fountains flung up rainbows from the midst of +lakes; children of the tenements darted hither and thither, rolled and +romped on the grass; family parties picnicked everywhere, and a very +babel of tongues greeted the ear--the languages of Europe from Sweden to +Italy. + +Suddenly an exclamation from her aroused and thrilled him. + +"Isn't it wonderful how happy they are, and with what simple pleasures +they are satisfied! I often come over here on Saturdays and Sundays, +just to talk to them." + +"Talk to them!" he echoed stupidly. "In their own languages?" + +"Oh, I know a little German and Italian, though I can't lay claim to +Czech," she answered gayly. "Why are you so surprised that I should +possess such modest accomplishments?" + +"It's not the accomplishments." He hesitated. + +"No. You are surprised that I should be interested in humanity." She +stood facing him. "Well, I am," she said, half humorously, half +defiantly. "I believe I am more interested in human beings than in +anything else in the world--when they are natural, as these people are +and when they will tell one their joys and their troubles and their +opinions." + +"Enthusiasm, self-assertion, had as usual, transformed her, and he saw +the colour glowing under her olive skin. Was she accusing him of a lack +of frankness? + +"And why," he asked, collecting himself, "did you think--" he got no +further. + +"It's because you have an idea that I'm a selfish Epicurean, if that +isn't tautology--because I'm interested in a form of art, the rest of the +world can go hang. You have a prejudice against artists. I wish I +really were one, but I'm not." + +This speech contained so many surprises for him that he scarcely knew how +to answer it. + +"Give me a little time," he begged, "and perhaps I'll get over my +prejudices. The worst of them, at any rate. You are helping me to do +so." He tried to speak lightly, but his tone was more serious in the +next sentence. "It seems to me personally that you have proved your +concern for your fellow-creatures." + +Her colour grew deeper, her manner changed. + +"That gives me the opportunity to say something I have hoped to say, ever +since I saw you. I hoped I should see you again." + +"You are not going away soon?" he exclaimed. + +The words were spoken before he grasped their significance. + +"Not at once. I don't know how long I shall stay," she answered +hurriedly, intent upon what was in her mind. "I have thought a great +deal about what I said to you that afternoon, and I find it more than +ever difficult to excuse myself. I shan't attempt to. I merely mean to +ask you to forgive me." + +"There is nothing to forgive," he assured her, under the influence of the +feeling she had aroused. + +"It's nice of you to say so, and to take it as you did--nicer than I can +express. I am afraid I shall never learn to appreciate that there may be +other points of view toward life than my own. And I should have realized +and sympathized with the difficulties of your position, and that you were +doing the best under the circumstances." + +"No," he exclaimed, "don't say that! Your other instinct was the truer +one, if indeed you have really changed it--I don't believe yon have." He +smiled at her again. "You didn't hurt my feelings, you did me a service. +I told you so at the time, and I meant it. And, more than that, I +understood." + +"You understood--?" + +"You were not criticizing me, you were--what shall I say?--merely trying +to iron out some of tie inconsistencies of life. Well, you helped me to +iron out some of the inconsistencies of my own. I am profoundly +grateful." + +She gazed at him, puzzled. But he did not, he could not enlighten her. +Some day she would discover what he meant. + +"If so, I am glad," she said, in a low voice. + +They were standing in the midst of the crowd that thronged around the +pavilion. An urchin caught hold of the rector's coat. + +"Here he is! Say, Mr. Hodder, ain't you going to have any sody?" + +"Certainly we are," he replied, returning Alison's faint smile . . . . +In the confusion that followed he caught a glimpse of her talking to Mr. +Bentley; and later, after he had taken her hand, his eyes followed her +figure wending its way in the evening light through the groups toward +Park Street, and he saw above the tree-tops the red tiled roof of the +great house in which she was living, alone. + + + + +CHAPTER XV + +THE CRUCIBLE + + +I + +For better or worse John Hodder had flung his treasured beliefs into the +crucible, and one by one he watched them crumble and consume away. None +but his own soul knew what it cost him to make the test; and some times, +in the early stages of it, he would cast down his book under the lamp and +walk for hours in the night. Curiosity, and the despair of one who is +lost impelled him to persist. + +It had been said of him that he had a talent for the law, and he now +discovered that his mind, once freed, weighed the evidence with a +pitiless logic, paid its own tribute--despite the anguish of the heart +--to the pioneers of truth whose trail it followed into the Unknown, who +had held no Mystery more sacred than Truth itself, who had dared to +venture into the nothingness between the whirling worlds. + +He considered them, those whirling worlds, at night. Once they had been +the candles of Jehovah, to light the path of his chosen nation, to herald +the birth of his Son. And now? How many billions of blind, struggling +creatures clung to them? Where now was this pin-point of humanity, in +the midst of an appalling spectacle of a grinding, remorseless nature? + +And that obscure Event on which he had staked his hopes? Was He, as John +had written, the First Born of the Universe, the Word Incarnate of a +system that defied time and space, the Logos of an outworn philosophy? +Was that Universe conscious, as Berkeley had declared, or the blind +monster of substance alone, or energy, as some modern scientists brutally +and triumphantly maintained? Where was the Spirit that breathed in it of +hope? + +Such were some of the questions that thronged for solution. What was +mind, what spirit? an attenuated vapour of the all-pervading substance? + +He could not permit himself to dwell on these thoughts--madness lay that +way. Madness, and a watching demon that whispered of substance, and +sought to guide his wanderings in the night. Hodder clung to the shell +of reality, to the tiny panorama of the visible and the finite, to the +infinitesimal gropings that lay recorded before him on the printed page. +Let him examine these first, let him discover--despite the price--what +warrant the mind of man (the only light now vouchsafed to him in his +darkness) gave him to speculate and to hope concerning the existence +of a higher, truer Reality than that which now tossed and wounded him. +It were better to know. + +Scarcely had the body been lifted from the tree than the disputes +commenced, the adulterations crept in. The spontaneity, the fire and +zeal of the self-sacrificing itinerant preachers gave place to the +paralyzing logic then pervading the Roman Empire, and which had sent its +curse down the ages to the modern sermon; the geometrical rules of Euclid +were made to solve the secrets of the universe. The simple faith of the +cross which had inspired the martyr along the bloody way from Ephesus to +the Circus at Rome was formalized by degrees into philosophy: the faith +of future ages was settled by compromises, by manipulation, by bribery in +Councils of the Church which resembled modern political conventions, and +in which pagan Emperors did not hesitate to exert their influence over +the metaphysical bishops of the factions. Recriminations, executions, +murders--so the chronicles ran. + +The prophet, the idealist disappeared, the priest with his rites and +ceremonies and sacrifices, his power to save and damn, was once more in +possession of the world. + +The Son of Man was degraded into an infant in his mother's arms. An +unhealthy, degenerating asceticism, drawn from pagan sources, began with +the monks and anchorites of Egypt and culminated in the spectacle of +Simeon's pillar. The mysteries of Eleusis, of Attis, Mithras, Magna +Mater and Isis developed into Christian sacraments--the symbol became +the thing itself. Baptism the confession of the new life, following +the customs of these cults, became initiation; and from the same +superstitious origins, the repellent materialistic belief that to eat +of the flesh and drink of the blood of a god was to gain immortality: +immortality of the body, of course. + + +Ah, when the superstitions of remote peoples, the fables and myths, were +taken away; when the manufactured history and determinism of the +Israelites from the fall of man to the coming of that Messiah, whom the +Jews crucified because he failed to bring them their material Kingdom, +were discredited; when the polemic and literal interpretations of +evangelists had been rejected, and the pious frauds of tampering monks; +when the ascetic Buddhism was removed; the cults and mysteries, the +dogmas of an ancient naive philosophy discarded; the crude science of a +Ptolemy who conceived the earth as a flat terrestrial expanse and hell +as a smoking pit beneath proved false; the revelation of a Holy City of +jasper and gold and crystal, the hierarchy with its divine franchise to +save and rule and conquer,--when all these and more were eliminated from +Christianity, what was left? + +Hodder surveyed the ruins. And his mind recalled, that Sunday of rain in +New York which had been the turning-point in his life, when he had +listened to the preacher, when he had walked the streets unmindful of the +wet, led on by visions, racked by fears. And the same terror returned to +him now after all the years of respite, tenfold increased, of falling in +the sight of man from the topmost tower. + +What was to become of him, now that the very driving power of life was +gone? Where would he go? to what might he turn his hand, since all were +vanity and illusion? Careers meant nothing, had any indeed been possible +to a man forty, left staring at stark reality after the rainbow had +vanished. Nineveh had mocked and conquered him who had thought himself +a conqueror. Self flew back and swung on its central pivot and took +command. His future, his fate, what was to become of him. Who else now +was to be considered? And what was to restrain him from reaching out his +hand to pluck the fruit which he desired? . . . + + + +II + +What control from the Unknown is this which now depresses and now +releases the sensitive thing called the soul of man, and sends it upward +again until the green light of hope shines through the surface water? +He might have grown accustomed, Holder thought, to the obscurity of the +deeps; in which, after a while, the sharp agony of existence became +dulled, the pressure benumbing. He was conscious himself, at such times, +of no inner recuperation. Something drew him up, and he would find +himself living again, at length to recognize the hand if not to +comprehend the power. + +The hand was Horace Bentley's. + +What was the source of that serenity which shone on the face of his +friend? Was it the light of faith? Faith in--what? Humanity, Mr. +Bentley had told him on that first evening when they had met: faith in a +world filled with cruelties, disillusionments, lies, and cheats! On what +Authority was it based? Holder never asked, and no word of theology ever +crossed Mr. Bentley's lips; not by so much as a sign did he betray any +knowledge he may have had of the drama taking place in Holder's soul; no +comment escaped him on the amazing anomalies of the life the rector was +leading, in the Church but not of it. + +It was only by degrees Holder came to understand that no question would +be asked, and the frequency of his visits to Dalton Street increased. +He directed his steps thither sometimes hurriedly, as though pursued, as +to a haven from a storm. And a haven it was indeed! At all hours of the +day he came, and oftener in the night, in those first weeks, and if Mr. +Bentley were not at home the very sight of the hospitable old darky +brought surging up within him a sense of security, of, relief; the +library itself was filled with the peace of its owner. How many others +had brought their troubles here, had been lightened on the very threshold +of this sanctuary! + +Gradually Hodder began to realize something of their numbers. Gradually, +as he was drawn more and more into the network of the relationships of +this extraordinary man,--nay, as he inevitably became a part of that +network,--a period of bewilderment ensued. He found himself involved, +and quite naturally, in unpremeditated activities, running errands, +forming human ties on a human basis. No question was asked, no +credentials demanded or rejected. Who he was made no difference-- +he was a friend of Horace Bentley's. He had less time to read, less +time to think, to scan the veil of his future. + +He had run through a score of volumes, critical, philosophical, +scientific, absorbing their contents, eagerly anticipating their +conclusions; filled, once he had begun, with a mania to destroy, +a savage determination to leave nothing,--to level all . . . . + +And now, save for the less frequent relapsing moods, he had grown +strangely unconcerned about his future, content to live in the presence +of this man; to ignore completely the aspects of a life incomprehensible +to the few, besides Mr. Bentley, who observed it. + +What he now mostly felt was relief, if not a faint self-congratulation +that he had had the courage to go through with it, to know the worst. +And he was conscious even, at times, of a faint reviving sense of freedom +he had not known since the days at Bremerton. If the old dogmas were +false, why should he regret them? He began to see that, once he had +suspected their falsity, not to have investigated were to invite decay; +and he pictured himself growing more unctuous, apologetic, plausible. +He had, at any rate, escaped the more despicable fate, and if he went to +pieces now it would be as a man, looking the facts in the face,--not as +a coward and a hypocrite. + +Late one afternoon, when he dropped in at Mr. Bentley's house, he was +informed by Sam that a lady was awaiting Mr. Bentley in the library. +As Hodder opened the door he saw a tall, slim figure of a woman with her +back toward him. She was looking at the photographs on the mantel. + +It was Alison Parr! + +He remembered now that she had asked for Mr. Bentley's number, but it had +never occurred to him that he might one day find her here. And as she +turned he surprised in her eyes a shyness he had never seen in them +before. Thus they stood gazing at each other a moment before either +spoke. + +"Oh, I thought you were Mr. Bentley," she said. + +"Have you been waiting long?" he asked. + +"Three quarters of an hour, but I haven't minded it. This is such an +interesting room, with its pictures and relics and books. It has a +soothing effect, hasn't it? To come here is like stepping out of the +turmoil of the modern world into a peaceful past." + +He was struck by the felicity of her description. + +"You have been here before?" he asked. + +"Yes." She settled herself in the armchair; and Hodder, accepting the +situation, took the seat beside her. "Of course I came, after I had found +out who Mr. Bentley was. The opportunity to know him again--was not to +be missed." + +"I can understand that," he assented. + +"That is, if a child can even be said to know such a person as Mr. +Bentley. Naturally, I didn't appreciate him in those days--children +merely accept, without analyzing. And I have not yet been able to +analyze,--I can only speculate and consider." + +Her enthusiasm never failed to stir and excite Hodder. Nor would he have +thought it possible that a new value could be added to Mr. Bentley in his +eyes. Yet so it was. + +He felt within him, as she spoke, the quickening of a stimulus. + +"When I came in a little while ago," Alison continued, "I found a woman +in black, with such a sweet, sad face. We began a conversation. She had +been through a frightful experience. Her husband had committed suicide, +her child had been on the point of death, and she says that she lies +awake nights now thinking in terror of what might have happened to her +if you and Mr. Bentley hadn't helped her. She's learning to be a +stenographer. Do you remember her?--her name is Garvin." + +"Did she say--anything more?" Hodder anxiously demanded. + +"No," said Alison, surprised by his manner, "except that Mr. Bentley had +found her a place to live, near the hospital, with a widow who was a +friend of his. And that the child was well, and she could look life in +the face again. Oh, it is terrible to think that people all around us +are getting into such straits, and that we are so indifferent to it!" + +Hodder did not speak at once. He was wondering, now that she had renewed +her friendship with Mr. Bentley, whether certain revelations on her part +were not inevitable . . . . + +She was regarding him, and he was aware that her curiosity was aflame. +Again he wondered whether it were curiosity or--interest. + +"You did not tell me, when we met in the Park, that you were no longer +at St. John's." + +Did Mr. Bentley tell you?" + +"No. He merely said he saw a great deal of you. Martha Preston told me. +She is still here, and goes to church occasionally. She was much +surprised to learn that you were in the city. + +"I am still living in the parish house," he said. "I am--taking my +vacation." + +"With Mr. Bentley?" Her eyes were still on his face. + +"With Mr. Bentley," he replied. + +He had spoken without bitterness. Although there had indeed been +bitterness in his soul, it passed away in the atmosphere of Mr. Bentley's +house. The process now taking place in him was the same complication of +negative and positive currents he had felt in her presence before. He +was surprised to find that his old antipathy to agnosticism held over, +in her case; to discover, now, that he was by no means, as yet, in view +of the existence of Horace Bentley, to go the full length of unbelief! +On the other hand, he saw that she had divined much of what had happened +to him, and he felt radiating from her a sympathetic understanding which +seemed almost a claim. She had a claim, although he could not have said +of what it was constituted. Their personal relationship bore +responsibilities. It suddenly came over him, in fact, that the two +persons who in all the world were nearest him were herself and Mr. +Bentley! He responded, scarce knowing why he did so, to the positive +current. + +"With Mr. Bentley," he repeated, smiling, and meeting her eyes, "I have +been learning something about the actual conditions of life in a modern +city." + +She bent a little toward him in one of those spontaneous movements that +characterized her. + +"Tell me--what is his life?" she asked. "I have seen so little of it, +and he has told me nothing himself. At first, in the Park, I saw only a +kindly old gentleman, with a wonderful, restful personality, who had been +a dear friend of my mother's. I didn't connect those boys with him. But +since then--since I have been here twice, I have seen other things which +make me wonder how far his influence extends." She paused. + +"I, too, have wondered," said the rector, thoughtfully. "When I met him, +I supposed he were merely living in simple relationships with his +neighbours here in Dalton Street, but by degrees I have discovered that +his relationships are as wide as the city itself. And they have grown +naturally--by radiation, as it were. One incident has led to another, +one act of kindness to another, until now there seems literally no end to +the men and women with whom he is in personal touch, who are ready to do +anything in their power for him at any time. It is an institution, in +fact, wholly unorganized, which in the final analysis is one man. And +there is in it absolutely nothing of that element which has come to be +known as charity." + +Alison listened with parted lips. + +"To give you an example," he went on, gradually be coming fired by his +subject, by her absorption, "since you have mentioned Mrs. Garvin, I will +tell you what happened in that case. It is typical of many. It was a +question of taking care of this woman, who was worn out and crushed, +until she should recover sufficiently to take care of herself. Mr. +Bentley did not need any assistance from me to get the boy into the +hospital--Dr. Jarvis worships him. But the mother. I might possibly +have got her into an institutional home--Mr. Bentley did better than +that, far better. On the day of the funeral we went directly from the +cemetery to the house of a widow who owns a little fruit farm beyond the +Park. Her name is Bledsoe, and it is not an exaggeration to say that her +house, small as it is, contains an endowed room always at Mr. Bentley's +disposal. + +"Mrs. Garvin is there now. She was received as a friend, as a guest-- +not as an inmate, a recipient of charity. I shall never forget how that +woman ran out in the sun when she saw us coming, how proud she was to be +able to do this thing, how she ushered us into the little parlour, that +was all swept and polished, and how naturally and warmly she welcomed the +other woman, dazed and exhausted, and took her hat and veil and almost +carried her up the stairs. And later on I found out from Miss Grower, +who lives here, Mrs. Bledsoe's history. Eight or nine years ago her +husband was sent to prison for forgery, and she was left with four small +children, on the verge of a fate too terrible to mention. She was +brought to Mr. Bentley's attention, and he started her in life. + +"And now Mrs. Garvin forms another link to that chain, which goes on +growing. In a month she will be earning her own living as stenographer +for a grain merchant whom Mr. Bentley set on his feet several years ago. +One thing has led to the next. And--I doubt if any neighbourhood could +be mentioned, north or south or west, or even in the business portion +of the city itself, where men and women are not to be found ready and +eager to do anything in their power for him. Of course there have been +exceptions, what might be called failures in the ordinary terminology +of charity, but there are not many." + +When he had finished she sat quite still, musing over what he had told +her, her eyes alight. + +"Yes, it is wonderful," she said at length, in a low voice. "Oh, I can +believe in that, making the world a better place to live in, making +people happier. Of course every one cannot be like Mr. Bentley, but all +may do their share in their own way. If only we could get rid of this +senseless system of government that puts a premium on the acquisition of +property! As it is, we have to depend on individual initiative. Even +the good Mr. Bentley does is a drop in the ocean compared to what might +be done if all this machinery--which has been invented, if all these +discoveries of science, by which the forces of an indifferent nature have +been harnessed, could be turned to the service of all mankind. Think of +how many Mrs. Garvins, of how many Dalton Streets there are in the world, +how many stunted children working in factories or growing up into +criminals in the slums! I was reading a book just the other day on the +effect of the lack of nutrition on character. We are breeding a million +degenerate citizens by starving them, to say nothing of the effect of +disease and bad air, of the constant fear of poverty that haunts the +great majority of homes. There is no reason why that fear should not be +removed, why the latest discoveries in medicine and science should not be +at the disposal of all." + +The genuineness of her passion was unmistakable. His whole being +responded to it. + +"Have you always felt like this?" he asked. Like what?" + +"Indignant--that so many people were suffering." + +His question threw her into reflection. + +"Why, no," she answered, at length, "I never thought----I see what you +mean. Four or five years ago, when I was going to socialist lectures, +my sense of all this--inequality, injustice was intellectual. I didn't +get indignant over it, as I do now when I think of it." + +"And why do you get indignant now?" + +"You mean," she asked, "that I have no right to be indignant, since I do +nothing to attempt to better conditions?--" + +"Not at all," Hodder disavowed. "Perhaps my question is too personal, +but I didn't intend it to be. I was merely wondering whether any event +or series of events had transformed a mere knowledge of these conditions +into feeling." + +"Oh!" she exclaimed, but not in offence. Once more she relapsed into +thought. And as he watched her, in silence, the colour that flowed and +ebbed in her cheeks registered the coming and going of memories; of +incidents in her life hidden from him, arousing in the man the torture +of jealousy. But his faculties, keenly alert, grasped the entire field; +marked once more the empirical trait in her that he loved her unflinching +willingness to submit herself to an experiment. + +"I suppose so," she replied at length, her thoughts naturally assuming +speech. "Yes, I can see that it is so. Yet my experience has not been +with these conditions with which Mr. Bentley, with which you have been +brought in contact, but with the other side--with luxury. Oh, I am sick +of luxury! I love it, I am not at all sure that I could do without it, +but I hate it, too, I rebel against it. You can't understand that." + +"I think I can," he answered her. + +"When I see the creatures it makes," she cried, "I hate it. My +profession has brought me in such close contact with it that I rebelled +at last, and came out here very suddenly, just to get away from it in the +mass. To renew my youth, if I could. The gardens were only an excuse. +I had come to a point where I wanted to be quiet, to be alone, to think, +and I knew my father would be going away. So much of my girlhood was +spent in that Park that I know every corner of it, and I--obeyed the +impulse. I wanted to test it." + +"Yes," he said, absorbed. + +"I might have gone to the mountains or the sea, but some one would have +come and found me, and I should have been bound again--on the wheel. +I shouldn't have had the strength to resist. But here--have you ever +felt," she demanded, "that you craved a particular locality at a certain +time?" + +He followed her still. + +"That is how I felt. These associations, that Park, the thought of my +girlhood, of my mother, who understood me as no one else has since, +assumed a certain value. New York became unbearable. It is just +there, in the very centre of our modern civilization, that one sees +the crudest passions. Oh, I have often wondered whether a man, however +disillusioned, could see New York as a woman sees it when the glamour is +gone. We are the natural prey of the conqueror still. We dream of +independence--" + +She broke off abruptly. + +This confession, with the sudden glimpse it gave him of the fires within +her that would not die down, but burned now more fiercely than ever, +sent the blood to his head. His face, his temples, were hot with the +fierceness of his joy in his conviction that she had revealed herself to +him. Why she had done so, he could not say. . . This was the woman +whom the world thought composed; who had triumphed over its opposition, +compelled it to bow before her; who presented to it that self-possessed, +unified personality by which he had been struck at their first meeting. +Yet, paradoxically, the personality remained,--was more elusive than +before. A thousand revelations, he felt, would not disclose it. + +He was no nearer to solving it now. . Yet the fires burned! She, too, +like himself, was aflame and unsatisfied! She, too, had tasted success, +and had revolted! + +"But I don't get anywhere," she said wearily. "At times I feel this +ferment, this anger that things are as they are, only to realize what +helpless anger it is. Why not take the world as it appears and live and +feel, instead of beating against the currents?" + +"But isn't that inconsistent with what you said awhile ago as to a new +civilization?" Hodder asked. + +"Oh, that Utopia has no reality for me. I think it has, at moments, but +it fades. And I don't pretend to be consistent. Mr. Bentley lives in a +world of his own; I envy him with all my heart, I love and admire him, +he cheers and soothes me when I am with him. But I can't see--whatever +he sees. I am only aware of a remorseless universe grinding out its +destinies. We Anglo-Saxons are fond of deceiving ourselves about life, +of dressing it up in beautiful colours, of making believe that it +actually contains happiness. All our fiction reflects this--that is +why I never cared to read English or American novels. The Continental +school, the Russians, the Frenchmen, refuse to be deluded. They are +honest." + +"Realism, naturalism," he mused, recalling a course in philosophy, "one +would expect the Russian, in the conditions under which he lives, +possessing an artistic temperament combined with a paralysis of the +initiative and a sense of fate, to write in that way. And the Frenchmen, +Renan, Zola, and the others who have followed, are equally deterministic, +but viewing the human body as a highly organized machine with which we +may amuse ourselves by registering its sensations. These literatures are +true in so far as they reflect the characteristics of the nations from +which they spring. That is not to say that the philosophies of which +they are the expressions are true. Nor is it to admit that such a +literature is characteristic of the spirit of America, and can be applied +without change to our life and atmosphere. We have yet, I believe, to +develop our own literature; which will come gradually as we find +ourselves." + +"Find ourselves?" she repeated. + +"Yes. Isn't that what we are trying to do? We are not determinists or +fatalists, and to condemn us to such a philosophy would be to destroy us. +We live on hope. In spite of our apparent materialism, we are idealists. +And is it not possible to regard nature as governed by laws--remorseless, +if you like the word--and yet believe, with Kant and Goethe, that there +is an inner realm? You yourself struggle--you cling to ideals." + +"Ideals!" she echoed. "Ideals are useless unless one is able to see, to +feel something beyond this ruthless mechanism by which we are surrounded +and hemmed in, to have some perception of another scheme. Why struggle, +unless we struggle for something definite? Oh, I don't mean heavenly +rewards. Nothing could be more insipid and senseless than the orthodox +view of the hereafter. I am talking about a scheme of life here and +now." + +"So am I," answered Hodder. "But may there not be a meaning in this very +desire we have to struggle against the order of things as it appears to +us?" + +"A meaning?" + +"A little while ago you spoke of your indignation at the inequalities and +injustices of the world, and when I asked you if you had always felt +this, you replied that this feeling had grown upon you. My question is +this: whether that indignation would be present at all if it were not +meant to be turned into action." + +"You believe that an influence is at work, an influence that impels us +against our reason?" + +"I should like to think so," he said. "Why should so many persons be +experiencing such a feeling to-day, persons who, like yourself, are the +beneficiaries of our present system of privilege? Why should you, who +have every reason to be satisfied, materially, with things as they are, +be troubling yourself with thoughts of others who are less-fortunate? +And why should we have the spectacle, today, of men and women all over +this country in social work, in science and medicine and politics, +striving to better conditions while most of them might be much more +comfortable and luxurious letting well enough alone?" + +"But it's human to care," she objected. + +"Ah--human!" he said, and was silent. "What do we mean by human, unless +it is the distinguishing mark of something within us that the natural +world doesn't possess? Unless it is the desire and willingness to strive +for a larger interest than the individual interest, work and suffer for +others? And you spoke of making people happier. What do you mean by +happiness? Not merely the possession of material comforts, surely. I +grant you that those who are overworked and underfed, who are burning +with the consciousness of wrongs, who have no outlook ahead, are +essentially hopeless and miserable. But by 'happiness' you, mean +something more than the complacency and contentment which clothing and +food might bring, and the removal of the economic fear,--and even the +restoration of self-respect." + +"That their lives should be fuller!" she exclaimed. + +"That drudgery and despair should be replaced by interest and hope," he +went on, "slavery by freedom. In other words, that the whole attitude +toward life should be changed, that life should appear a bright thing +rather than a dark thing, that labour should be willing vicarious instead +of forced and personal. Otherwise, any happiness worth having is out of +the question." + +She was listening now with parted lips, apparently unconscious of the +fixity of her gaze. + +"You mean it is a choice between that or nothing," she said, in a low +voice. "That there is no use in lifting people out of the treadmill-- +and removing the terror of poverty unless you can give them something +more--than I have got." + +"And something more--than I have got,"--he was suddenly moved to reply... + +Presently, while the silence still held between them, the door opened and +startled them into reality. Mr. Bentley came in. + +The old gentleman gave no sign, as they rose to meet him, of a sense of +tension in the atmosphere he had entered--yet each felt--somehow, that he +knew. The tension was released. The same thought occurred to both as +they beheld the peaceful welcome shining in his face, "Here is what we +are seeking. Why try to define it?" + +"To think that I have been gossiping with Mrs. Meyer, while you were +waiting for me!" he said. "She keeps the little florist's shop at the +corner of Tower Street, and she gave me these. I little guessed what +good use I should have for them, my dear." + +He held out to her three fragrant, crimson roses that matched the +responsive colour in her cheeks as she thanked him and pinned them on her +gown. He regarded her an instant. + +"But I'm sure Mr. Hodder has entertained you," Mr. Bentley turned, and +laid his hand on the rector's shoulder. + +"Most successfully," said Alison, cutting short his protest. And she +smiled at Hodder, faintly. + + + + + +CHAPTER XVI + +AMID THE ENCIRCLING GLOOM + + +I + +Hodder, in spite of a pressing invitation to remain for supper, had left +them together. He turned his face westward, in the opposite direction +from the parish house, still under the spell of that moment of communion +which had lasted--he knew not how long, a moment of silent revelation to +them both. She, too, was storm-tossed! She, too, who had fared forth so +gallantly into life, had conquered only to be beaten down--to lose her +way. + +This discovery strained the very fibres of his being. So close he had +been to her--so close that each had felt, simultaneously, complete +comprehension of the other, comprehension that defied words, overbore +disagreements. He knew that she had felt it. He walked on at first in a +bewildered ecstasy, careless of aught else save that in a moment they two +had reached out in the darkness and touched hands. Never had his +experience known such communion, never had a woman meant what this woman +meant, and yet he could not define that meaning. What need of religion, +of faith in an unseen order when this existed? To have this woman in the +midst of chaos would be enough! + +Faith in an unseen order! As he walked, his mind returned to the +argument by which he had sought to combat her doubts--and his own. +Whence had the argument come? It was new to him--he had never formulated +it before--that pity and longing and striving were a justification and a +proof. Had she herself inspired, by some unknown psychological law, this +first attempt of his to reform the universe, this theory which he had +rather spoken than thought? Or had it been the knowledge of her own +longing, and his desire to assuage it? As twilight fell, as his spirits +ebbed, he could not apply it now--it meant nothing to him, evaded him, +there was in it no solace. To regain his footing once more, to climb +again without this woman whom he needed, and might not have! Better to +fall, to be engulfed. . . The vision of her, tall and straight, with +the roses on her breast, tortured him. + +Thus ecstasy ebbed to despondency. He looked around him in the fading +day, to find himself opposite the closed gates of the Botanical Gardens, +in the southwestern portion of the city . . . . An hour later he had +made his way back to Dalton Street with its sputtering blue lights and +gliding figures, and paused for a moment on the far sidewalk to gaze at +Mr. Bentley's gleaming windows. Should he go in? Had that personality +suddenly lost its power over him? How strange that now he could see +nothing glowing, nothing inspiring within that house,--only a kindly old +man reading a newspaper! + +He walked on, slowly, to feel stealing on him that desperate longing for +adventure which he had known so well in his younger days. And he did not +resist. The terror with which it had once inspired him was gone, or +lingered only in the form of a delicious sense of uncertainty and +anticipation. Anything might happen to him--anything would be grateful; +the thought of his study in the parish house was unbearable; the Dalton +Street which had mocked and repelled him suddenly became alluring with +its champaigns of light and inviting stretches of darkness. In the block +ahead, rising out of the night like a tower blazing with a hundred +beacons, Hodder saw a hotel, heard the faint yet eager throbbing of +music, beheld silhouetted figures flitting from automobiles and carriages +across the white glare of the pavement,--figures of men and women. + +He hastened his steps, the music grew louder and louder in his ears, he +gained the ornamental posts crowned by their incandescent globes, made +his way through the loiterers, descended the stone steps of the +restaurant, and stood staring into it as at a blurred picture. The band +crashed a popular two-step above the mingled voices and laughter. He sat +down at a vacant table near the door, and presently became aware that a +waiter had been for some time at his elbow. + +"What will you have, sir?" + +Then he remembered that he had not eaten, discovered that he was hungry, +and ordered some sandwiches and beer. Still staring, the figures began +to differentiate themselves, although they all appeared, somehow, in +perpetual motion; hurrying, though seated. It was like gazing at a +quivering cinematograph. Here and there ribbons of smoke curled upward, +adding volume to the blue cloud that hung over the tables, which in turn +was dissipated in spots by the industrious electric fans. Everywhere he +looked he met the glances of women; even at the table next him, they were +not so absorbed in their escorts as to be able to resist flinging +him covert stares between the shrieks of laughter in which they +intermittently indulged. The cumulative effect of all these faces was +intoxicating, and for a long time he was unable to examine closely any +one group. What he saw was a composite woman with flushed cheeks and +soliciting eyes, becomingly gowned and hatted--to the masculine judgment. +On the walls, heavily frescoed in the German style, he read, in Gothic +letters: + + "Wer liebt nicht Wein, Weib, and Gesang, + Er bleibt ein Narr sein Leben lang." + +The waiter brought the sandwiches and beer, yet he did not eat. In the +middle distance certain figures began insistently to stand out,--figures +of women sitting alone wherever he looked he met a provoking gaze. One +woman, a little farther away than the rest, seemed determinedly bent on +getting a nod of recognition, and it was gradually borne in upon Hodder's +consciousness that her features were familiar. In avoiding her eyes he +studied the men at the next table,--or rather one of them, who loudly +ordered the waiters about, who told brief anecdotes that were +uproariously applauded; whose pudgy, bejewelled fingers were continually +feeling for the bottle in the ice beside his chair, or nudging his +companions with easy familiarity; whose little eyes, set in a heavy face, +lighted now and again with a certain expression . . . . . + +Suddenly Hodder pushed back his chair and got to his feet, overcome by a +choking sensation like that of being, asphyxiated by foul gases. He must +get out at once, or faint. What he had seen in the man's eyes had +aroused in him sheer terror, for it was the image of something in his +own soul which had summarily gained supremacy and led him hither, +unresisting, to its own abiding-place. In vain he groped to reconstruct +the process by which that other spirit--which he would fain have believed +his true spirit--had been drugged and deadened in its very flight. + +He was aware, as he still stood uncertainly beside the table, of the +white-aproned waiter looking at him, and of some one else!--the woman +whose eyes had been fastened on him so persistently. She was close +beside him, speaking to him. + +"Seems to me we've met before." + +He looked at her, at first uncomprehendingly, then with a dawning +realization of her identity. Even her name came to him, unexpectedly,-- +Kate Marcy,--the woman in the flat! + +"Ain't you going to invite me to have some supper?" she whispered +eagerly, furtively, as one accustomed to be rebuffed, yet bold in spite +of it. "They'll throw me out if they think I'm accosting you." + +How was it that, a moment ago, she had appeared to him mysterious, +inviting? At this range he could only see the paint on her cheeks, the +shadows under her burning eyes, the shabby finery of her gown. Her +wonderful bronze hair only made the contrast more pitiful. He acted +automatically, drawing out for her the chair opposite his own, and sat +down again. + +"Say, but I'm hungry!" she exclaimed, pulling off her gloves. She smiled +at him, wanly, yet with a brazen coquettishness become habit. + +"Hungry!" he repeated idly. + +"I guess you'd be, if you'd only had a fried egg and a cup of coffee to- +day, and nothing last night." + +He pushed over to her, hastily, with a kind of horror, the plate of +sandwiches. She began eating them ravenously; but presently paused, and +thrust them back toward him. He shook his head. + +"What's the matter with you?" she demanded. + +"Nothing," he replied. + +"You ordered them, didn't you? Ain't you eating anything?" + +"I'm not hungry," he said. + +She continued eating awhile without comment. And he watched her as one +fascinated, oblivious to his surroundings, in a turmoil of thought and +emotion. + +"I'm dry," she announced meaningly. + +He hesitated a moment, and then gave her the bottle of beer. She made a +wry face as she poured it out. + +"Have they run out of champagne?" she inquired. + +This time he did not hesitate. The women of his acquaintance, at the +dinner parties he attended, drank champagne. Why should he refuse it to +this woman? A long-nosed, mediaeval-looking waiter was hovering about, +one of those bizarre, battered creatures who have long exhausted the +surprises of life, presiding over this amazing situation with all the +sang froid of a family butler. Hodder told him to bring champagne. + +"What kind, sir?" he asked, holding out a card. + +"The best you have." + +The woman stared at him in wonder. + +"You're what an English Johnny I know would call a little bit of all +right!" she declared with enthusiastic approval. + +"Since you are hungry," he went on, "suppose you have something more +substantial than sandwiches. What would you like?" + +She did not answer at once. Amazement grew in her eyes, amazement and a +kind of fear. + +"Quit joshing!" she implored him, and he found it difficult to cope with +her style of conversation. For a while she gazed helplessly at the bill +of fare. + +"I guess you'll think it's funny," she said hesitatingly, "but I feel +just like a good beefsteak and potatoes. Bring a thick one, Walter." + +The waiter sauntered off. + +"Why should I think it strange?" Hodder asked. + +"Well, if you knew how many evenings I've sat up there in my room and +thought what I'd order if I ever again got hold of some rich guy who'd +loosen up. There ain't any use trying to put up a bluff with you. +Nothing was too good for me once, caviar, pate de foie gras" (her +pronunciation is not to be imitated), "chicken casserole, peach Melba, +filet of beef with mushrooms,--I've had 'em all, and I used to sit up and +say I'd hand out an order like that. You never do what you think you're +going to do in this life." + +The truth of this remark struck him with a force she did not suspect; +stung him, as it were, into a sense of reality. + +"And now," she added pathetically, "all t want is a beefsteak! Don't +that beat you?" + +She appeared so genuinely surprised at this somewhat contemptible trick +fate had played her that Hodder smiled in spite of himself. + +"I didn't recognize you at first in that get-up," she observed, looking +at his blue serge suit. "So you've dropped the preacher business, have +you? You're wise, all right." + +"Why do you say that?" he asked. + +"Didn't I tell you when you came 'round that time that you weren't like +the rest of 'em? You're too human." + +Once more the word, and on her lips, startled him. + +"Some of the best men I have ever known, the broadest and most +understanding men, have been clergymen," he found himself protesting. + +"Well, they haven't dropped in on me. The only one I ever saw that +measured up to something like that was you, and now you've chucked it." + +Had he, as she expressed the matter, "chucked it"? Her remark brought +him reluctantly, fearfully, remorselessly--agitated and unprepared as +he was--face to face with his future. + +"You were too good for the job," she declared. "What is there in it? +There ain't nobody converted these days that I can see, and what's the +use of gettin' up and preach into a lot of sapheads that don't know what +religion is? Sure they don't." + +"Do you?" he asked. + +"You've called my bluff." She laughed. "Say, do YOU?" If there was +anything in it you'd have kept on preachin' to that bunch and made some +of 'em believe they was headed for hell; you'd have made one of 'em that +owns the flat house I live in, who gets fancy rents out of us poor girls, +give it up. That's a nice kind of business for a church member, ain't +it?" + +"Owns the house in which you live!" + +"Sure." She smiled at him compassionately, pitying his innocence and +ignorance. "Now I come to think of it, I guess he don't go to your +church,--it's the big Baptist church on the boulevard. But what's the +difference?" + +"None," said Hodder, despondently. + +She regarded him curiously. + +"You remember when you dropped in that night, when the kid was sick?" + +He nodded. + +"Well, now you ain't in the business any more, I may as well tell you you +kind of got in on me. I was sorry for you--honest, I was. I couldn't +believe at first you was on the level, but it didn't take me long to see +that they had gold-bricked you, too. I saw you weren't wise to what they +were." + +"You thought--" he began and paused dumfounded. + +"Why not?" she retorted. "It looked easy to me,--your line. How was I +to know at first that they had you fooled? How was I to know you wasn't +in the game?" + +"The game?" + +"Say, what else is it but a game? You must be on now, ain't you? Why. +do they put up to keep the churches going? There ain't any coupons +coming out of 'em. + +"Maybe some of these millionaires think they can play all the horses and +win,--get into heaven and sell gold bricks on the side. But I guess most +of 'em don't think about heaven. They just use the church for a front, +and take in strangers in the back alley,--downtown." + +Hodder was silent, overwhelmed by the brutal aptness of her figures. Nor +did he take the trouble of a defence, of pointing out that hers was not +the whole truth. What really mattered--he saw--was what she and those +like her thought. Such minds were not to be disabused by argument; and +indeed he had little inclination for it then. + +"There's nothing in it." + +By this expression he gathered she meant life. And some hidden impulse +bade him smile at her. + +"There is this," he answered. + +She opened her mouth, closed it and stared at him, struck by his +expression, striving uneasily to fathom hidden depths in his remark. + +"I don't get on to you," she said lamely. "I didn't that other time. +I never ran across anybody like you." + +He tried to smile again. + +"You mustn't mind me," he answered. + +They fell into an oasis of silence, surrounded by mad music and laughter. +Then came the long-nosed waiter carrying the beefsteak aloft, followed by +a lad with a bucket of ice, from which protruded the green and gold neck +of a bottle. The plates were put down, the beefsteak carved, the +champagne opened and poured out with a flourish. The woman raised her +glass. + +"Here's how!" she said, with an attempt at gayety. And she drank to him. +"It's funny how I ran across you again, ain't it?" She threw back her +head and laughed. + +He raised his glass, tasted the wine, and put it down again. A sheet of +fire swept through him. + +"What's the matter with it? Is it corked?" she demanded. "It goes to +the right spot with me." + +"It seems very good," he said, trying to smile, and turning to the food +on his plate. The very idea of eating revolted him--and yet he made the +attempt: he had a feeling, ill defined, that consequences of vital +importance depended upon this attempt, on his natural acceptance of the +situation. And, while he strove to reduce the contents of his plate, +he racked his brain for some subject of conversation. The flamboyant +walls of the room pressed in on every side; comment of that which lay +within their limits was impossible,--but he could not, somehow, get +beyond them. Was there in the whole range of life one easy topic which +they might share in common? Yet a bond existed between this woman and +himself--a bond of which he now became aware, and which seemed strangely +to grow stronger as the minutes passed and no words were spoken. Why was +it that she, too, to whom speech came so easily, had fallen dumb? He +began to long for some remark, however disconcerting. The tension +increased. + +She put down her knife and fork. Tears sprang into her eyes,--tears of +anger, he thought. + +"Say, it's no use trying to put up a bluff with me," she cried. + +"Why do you say that?" he asked. + +"You know what I mean, all right. What did you come in here for, +anyway?" + +"I don't know--I couldn't tell you," he answered. + +The very honesty of his words seemed, for an instant, to disconcert her; +and she produced a torn lace handkerchief, which she thrust in her eyes. + +"Why can't you leave me alone?" she demanded. "I'm all right." + +If he did not at once reply, it was because of some inner change which +had taken place in himself; and he seemed to see things, suddenly, in +their true proportions. He no longer feared a scene and its +consequences. By virtue of something he had cast off or taken on, +he was aware of a newly acquired mastery of the situation, and by a +hidden and unconscious process he had managed to get at the real woman +behind the paint: had beaten down, as it were without a siege, her +defences. And he was incomparably awed by the sight of her quivering, +frightened self. + +Her weeping grew more violent. He saw the people at the next table turn +and stare, heard the men laughing harshly. For the spectacle was +evidently not an uncommon one here. She pushed away her unfinished +glass, gathered up her velvet bag and rose abruptly. + +"I guess I ain't hungry after all," she said, and started toward the +door. He turned to the waiter, who regarded him unmoved, and asked for a +check. + +"I'll get it," he said. + +Hodder drew out a ten dollar bill, and told him to keep the change. The +waiter looked at him. Some impulse moved him to remark, as he picked up +the rector's hat: + +"Don't let her put it over you, sir." + +Hodder scarcely heard him. He hurried up the steps and gained the +pavement, and somewhere in the black shadows beyond the arc-lights he saw +her disappearing down the street. Careless of all comment he hastened +on, overtook her, and they walked rapidly side by side. Now and again he +heard a sob, but she said nothing. Thus they came to the house where the +Garvins had lived, and passed it, and stopped in front of the dimly +lighted vestibule of the flats next door. In drawing the key from her +bag she dropped it: he picked it up and put it in the lock himself. She +led the way without comment up the darkened stairs, and on the landing +produced another key, opened the door of her rooms, fumbled for the +electric button, and suddenly the place was flooded with light. He +glanced in, and recoiled. + + + +II + +Oddly enough, the first thing he noticed in the confusion that reigned +was the absence of the piano. Two chairs were overturned, and one of +them was broken; a siphon of vichy lay on the floor beside a crushed +glass and two or three of the cheap ornaments that had been swept off +the mantel and broken on the gaudy tiles of the hearth. He glanced at +the woman, who had ceased crying, and stood surveying the wreckage with +the calmness, the philosophic nonchalance of a class that comes to look +upon misfortune as inevitable. + +"They didn't do a thing to this place, did they?" was her comment. +"There was two guys in here to-night who got a notion they were funny." + +Hodder had thought to have fathomed all the horrors of her existence, but +it was not until he looked into this room that the bottomless depths of +it were brought home to him. Could it be possible that the civilization +in which he lived left any human being so defenceless as to be at the +mercy of the ghouls who had been here? The very stale odours of the +spilled whiskey seemed the material expression of the essence of degraded +souls; for a moment it overpowered him. Then came the imperative need of +action, and he began to right one of the chairs. She darted forward. + +"Cut it out!" she cried. "What business have you got coming in here and +straightening up? I was a fool to bring you, anyway." + +It was in her eyes that he read her meaning, and yet could not credit it. +He was abashed--ashamed; nay, he could not define the feeling in his +breast. He knew that what he read was the true interpretation of her +speech, for in some manner--he guessed not how--she had begun to idealize +him, to feel that the touch of these things defiled him. + +"I believe I invited myself," he answered, with attempted cheerfulness. +Then it struck him, in his predicament, that this was precisely what +others had done! + +"When you asked me a little while ago whether I had left the Church, I +let you think I had. I am still connected with St. John's, but I do not +know how long I shall continue to be." + +She was on her knees with dustpan and whiskbroom, cleaning up the +fragments of glass on the stained carpet. And she glanced up at him +swiftly, diviningly. + +"Say--you're in trouble yourself, ain't you?" + +She got up impulsively, spilling some of the contents of the pan. A +subtle change had come in her, and under the gallantly drooping feathers +of her hat he caught her eye--the human eye that so marvellously reflects +the phases of the human soul: the eye which so short a time before +hardily and brazenly had flashed forth its invitation, now actually shone +with fellowship and sympathy. And for a moment this look was more +startling, more appalling than the other; he shrank from it, resented it +even more. Was it true that they had something in common? And if so, +was it sin or sorrow, or both? + +"I might have known," she said, staring at him. In spite of his gesture +of dissent, he saw that she was going over the events of the evening from +her new point of view. + +"I might have known, when we were sitting there in Harrods, that you were +up against it, too, but I couldn't think of anything but the way I was +fixed. The agent's been here twice this week for the rent, and I was +kind of desperate for a square meal." + +Hodder took the dustpan from her hand, and flung its contents into the +fireplace. + +"Then we are both fortunate," he said, "to have met each other." + +"I don't see where you come in," she told him. + +He turned and smiled at her. + +"Do you remember when I was here that evening about two months ago I said +I should like to be your friend? Well, I meant it. And I have often +hoped, since then, that some circumstance might bring us together again. +You seemed to think that no friendship was possible between us, but I +have tried to make myself believe that you said so because you didn't +know me." + +"Honest to God?" she asked. "Is that on the level?" + +"I only ask for an opportunity to prove it," he replied, striving to +speak naturally. He stooped and laid the dustpan on the hearth. +"There! Now let's sit down." + +She sank on the sofa, her breast rising and falling, her gaze dumbly +fixed on him, as one under hypnosis. He took the rocker. + +"I have wanted to tell you how grateful Mrs. Garvin, the boy's mother-- +was for the roses you brought. She doesn't know who sent them, but I +intend to tell her, and she will thank you herself. She is living out +in the country. And the boy--you would scarcely recognize him." + +"I couldn't play the piano for a week after--that thing happened." She +glanced at the space where the instrument had stood. + +"You taught yourself to play?" he asked. + +"I had music lessons." + +"Music lessons?" + +"Not here--before I left home--up the State, in a little country town,-- +Madison. It seems like a long time ago, but it's only seven years in +September. Mother and father wanted all of us children to know a little +more than they did, and I guess they pinched a good deal to give us a +chance. I went a year to the high school, and then I was all for coming +to the city--I couldn't stand Madison, there wasn't anything going on. +Mother was against it,--said I was too good-looking to leave home. I +wish I never had. You wouldn't believe I was good-looking once, would +you?" + +She spoke dispassionately, not seeming to expect assent, but Hodder +glanced involuntarily at her wonderful crown of hair. She had taken off +her hat. He was thinking of the typical crime of American parents,--and +suddenly it struck him that her speech had changed, that she had dropped +the suggestive slang of the surroundings in which she now lived. + +"I was a fool to come, but I couldn't see it then. All I could think of +was to get away to a place where something was happening. I wanted to +get into Ferguson's--everybody in Madison knew about Ferguson's, what a +grand store it was,--but I couldn't. And after a while I got a place at +the embroidery counter at Pratt's. That's a department store, too, you +know. It looked fine, but it wasn't long before I fell wise to a few +things." (She relapsed into slang occasionally.) "Have you ever tried +to stand on your feet for nine hours, where you couldn't sit down for a +minute? Say, when Florry Kinsley and me--she was the girl I roomed with +--would get home at night, often we'd just lie down and laugh and cry, we +were so tired, and our feet hurt so. We were too used up sometimes to +get up and cook supper on the little stove we had. And sitting around a +back bedroom all evening was worse than Madison. We'd go out, tired as +we were, and walk the streets." + +He nodded, impressed by the fact that she did not seem to be appealing +to his sympathy. Nor, indeed, did she appear--in thus picking up the +threads of her past--to be consciously accounting for her present. +She recognized no causation there. + +"Say, did you ever get to a place where you just had to have something +happen? When you couldn't stand bein' lonely night after night, when you +went out on the streets and saw everybody on the way to a good time but +you? We used to look in the newspapers for notices of the big balls, and +we'd take the cars to the West End and stand outside the awnings watching +the carriages driving up and the people coming in. And the same with +the weddings. We got to know a good many of the swells by sight. There +was Mrs. Larrabbee,"--a certain awe crept into her voice--"and Miss +Ferguson--she's sweet--and a lot more. Some of the girls used to copy +their clothes and hats, but Florry and me tried to live honest. It was +funny," she added irrelevantly, "but the more worn out we were at night, +the more we'd want a little excitement, and we used to go to the dance- +halls and keep going until we were ready to drop." + +She laughed at the recollection. + +"There was a floorwalker who never let me alone the whole time I was at +Pratt's--he put me in mind of a pallbearer. His name was Selkirk, and he +had a family in Westerly, out on the Grade Suburban . . . . Some of +the girls never came back at all, except to swagger in and buy expensive +things, and tell us we were fools to work. And after a while I noticed +Florry was getting discouraged. We never had so much as a nickel left +over on Saturdays and they made us sign a paper, when they hired us, that +we lived at home. It was their excuse for paying us six dollars a week. +They do it at Ferguson's, too. They say they can get plenty of girls who +do live at home. I made up my mind I'd go back to Madison, but I kept +putting it off, and then father died, and I couldn't! + +"And then, one day, Florry left. She took her things from the room when +I was at the store, and I never saw her again. I got another roommate. +I couldn't afford to pay for the room alone. You wouldn't believe I kept +straight, would you?" she demanded, with a touch of her former defiance. +"I had plenty of chances better than that floorwalker. But I knew I was +good looking, and I thought if I could only hold out I might get married +to some fellow who was well fixed. What's the matter?" + +Hodder's exclamation had been involuntary, for in these last words she +had unconsciously brought home to him the relentless predicament in the +lives of these women. She had been saving herself--for what? A more +advantageous, sale! + +"It's always been my luck," she went on reflectingly, "that when what I +wanted to happen did happen, I never could take advantage of it. It was +just like that to-night, when you handed me out the bill of fare, and +I ordered beefsteak. And it was like that when--when he came along-- +I didn't do what I thought I was going to do. It's terrible to fall in +love, isn't it? I mean the real thing. I've read in books that it only +comes once, and I guess it's so." + +Fortunately she seemed to expect no answer to this query. She was +staring at the wall with unseeing eyes. + +"I never thought of marrying him, from the first. He could have done +anything with me--he was so good and generous--and it was him I was +thinking about. That's love, isn't it? Maybe you don't believe a woman +like me knows what love is. You've got a notion that goin' downhill, as +I've been doing, kills it, haven't you? I Wish to God it did--but it +don't: the ache's there, and sometimes it comes in the daytime, and +sometimes at night, and I think I'll go crazy. When a woman like me is +in love there isn't anything more terrible on earth, I tell you. If a +girl's respectable and good it's bad enough, God knows, if she can't have +the man she wants; but when she's like me--it's hell. That's the only +way I can describe it. She feels there is nothing about her that's +clean, that he wouldn't despise. There's many a night I wished I could +have done what Garvin did, but I didn't have the nerve." + +"Don't say that!" he commanded sharply. + +"Why not? It's the best way out." + +"I can see how one might believe it to be," he answered. Indeed, it +seemed that his vision had been infinitely extended, that he had suddenly +come into possession of the solution of all the bewildered, despairing +gropings of the human soul. Only awhile ago, for instance, the mood of +self-destruction had been beyond his imagination: tonight he understood +it, though he still looked upon it with horror. And he saw that his +understanding of her--or of any human being--could never be of the +intellect. He had entered into one of those astounding yet simple +relationships wherein truth, and truth alone, is possible. He knew +that such women lied, deceived themselves; he could well conceive that +the image of this first lover might have become idealized in her +vicissitudes; that the memories of the creature-comforts, of first +passion, might have enhanced as the victim sank. It was not only +because she did not attempt to palliate that he believed her. + +"I remember the time I met him,--it was only four years ago last spring, +but it seems like a lifetime. It was Decoration Day, and it was so +beautiful I went out with another girl to the Park, and we sat on the +grass and looked at the sky and wished we lived in the country. He was +in an automobile; I never did know exactly how it happened,--we looked at +each other, and he slowed up and came back and asked us to take a ride. +I had never been in one of those things--but that wasn't why I went, +I guess. Well, the rest was easy. He lost his head, and I was just as +bad. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how rich he was: it scared me +when I found out about him, and he was so handsome and full of fun and +spirits, and generous! I never knew anybody like him. Honest, I never +expected he'd want to marry me. He didn't at first,--it was only after +a while. I never asked him to, and when he began to talk about it I told +him it would cut him off from his swell friends, and I knew his father +might turn him loose. Oh, it wasn't the money! Well, he'd get mad all +through, and say he never got along with the old man, and that his +friends would have to take me, and he couldn't live without me. He said +he would have me educated, and bought me books, and I tried to read them. +I'd have done anything for him. He'd knocked around a good deal since +he'd been to Harvard College,--he wasn't what you'd call a saint, but his +heart was all right. And he changed, too, I could see it. He said he +was going to make something out of himself. + +"I didn't think it was possible to be so happy, but I had a feeling all +along, inside of me, that it couldn't come off. I had a little flat in +Rutger Street, over on the south side, and everything in the world I +wanted. Well, one day, sure enough, the bell rang and I opened the door, +and there stood a man with side whiskers staring at me, and staring until +I was frightened to death. I never saw such eyes as he had. And all of +a sudden I knew it was his father. + +"'Is this Miss Marcy?'" he said. + +"I couldn't say anything at all, but he handed me his card and smiled, +I'll never forget how he smiled--and came right in and sat down. I'd +heard of that man all my life, and how much money he'd made, and all +that. Why, up in Madison folks used to talk about him--" she checked +herself suddenly and stared at Hodder in consternation. "Maybe you know +him!" she exclaimed. "I never thought!" + +"Maybe I do," he assented wearily. In the past few moments suspicion had +become conviction. + +"Well--what difference does it make--now? It's all over, and I'm not +going to bother him. I made up my mind I wouldn't, on account of him, +you understand. I never fell that low--thank God!" + +Hodder nodded. He could not speak . . . . The woman seemed to be +living over again that scene, in her imagination. + +"I just couldn't realize who it was sitting there beside me, but if I +hadn't known it wouldn't have made any difference. He could have done +anything with me, anyway, and he knew how to get at me. He said, now +that he'd seen me, that he was sure I was a good girl at the bottom and +loved his son, and that I wouldn't want to ruin the boy when he had such +a big future ahead of him. I wouldn't have thought, to look at the man, +that he could have been so gentle. I made a fool of myself and cried, +and told him I'd go away and never see his son any more--that I'd always +been against marrying him. Well, he almost had tears in his eyes when he +thanked me and said I'd never regret it, and he pulled an envelope out of +his pocket. I said I wouldn't take any money, and gave it back to him. +I've always been sorry since that I didn't make him take it back--it +never did anything but harm to me. But he had his way. He laid it on +the table and said he wouldn't feel right, and took my hand--and I just +didn't care. + +"Well, what do you think I did after he'd gone? I went and played a +piece on the piano,--and I never can bear to hear that ragtime to this +day. I couldn't seem to feel anything. And after a while I got up and +opened the envelope--it was full of crackly new hundred dollar bills-- +thirty of 'em, and as I sat there staring at 'em the pain came on, like a +toothache, in throbs, getting worse all the time until I just couldn't +stand it. I had a notion of sending the money back even then, but I +didn't. I didn't know how to do it,--and as I told you, I wasn't able to +care much. Then I remembered I'd promised to go away, and I had to have +some money for that, and if I didn't leave right off I wouldn't have the +strength to do it. I hadn't even thought where to go: I couldn't think, +so I got dressed and went down to the depot anyway. It was one of those +bright, bitter cold winter days after a thaw when the icicles are hanging +everywhere. I went inside and walked up and down that long platform +under the glass roof. My, it was cold in there! I looked over all the +signs, and made up my mind I'd go to Chicago. + +"I meant to work, I never meant to spend the money, but to send it back. +I'd put it aside--and then I'd go and take a little. Say, it was easy +not to work--and I didn't care what happened to me as long as I wasn't +going to see him again. Well, I'm not trying to smooth it over, +I suppose there was something crooked about me from the start, but I just +went clean to hell with that money, and when I heard he'd gone away, +I came back here." + +"Something crooked!" The words rang in Hodder's ears, in his very soul. +How was he or any man to estimate, to unravel the justice from the +injustice, to pass upon the merit of this woman's punishment? Here +again, in this vitiated life, was only to be seen the remorseless working +of law--cause and effect. Crooked! Had not the tree been crooked from +the beginning--incapable of being straightened? She had herself naively +confessed it. Was not the twist ingrained? And if so, where was the +salvation he had preached? There was good in her still,--but what was +"good"? . . . He took no account of his profound compassion. + +What comfort could he give her, what hope could he hold out that the +twist, now gnarled and knotted, might be removed, that she might gain +peace of soul and body and the "happiness" of which he had talked with +Alison Parr? . . . He raised his eyes, to discover that the woman's +were fixed upon him, questioningly. + +"I suppose I was a fool to tell you," she said, with a shade of her old +bitterness; "it can't do any good." Her next remark was startlingly +astute. "You've found out for yourself, I guess, that all this talk +about heaven and hell and repentance don't amount to anything. Hell +couldn't be any worse than I've been through, no matter how hot it is. +And heaven!" She laughed, burst into tears, and quickly dried them. +"You know the man I've been talking about, that bought me off. I didn't +intend to tell you, but I see you can't help knowing--Eldon Parr. I +don't say he didn't do right from his way of looking at things,--but say, +it wasn't exactly Christian, was it?" + +"No," he said, "it wasn't." He bowed his head, and presently, when he +raised it again, he caught something in her look that puzzled and +disturbed him--an element of adoration. + +"You're white through and through," she said, slowly and distinctly. + +And he knew not how to protest. + +"I'll tell you something," she went on, as one who has made a discovery. +"I liked you the first time you came in here--that night--when you wanted +me to be friends; well, there was something that seemed to make it +impossible then. I felt it, if you didn't." She groped for words. +"I can't explain what it was, but now it's gone. You're different. +I think a lot more of you. Maybe it's because of what you did at +Harrod's, sitting down with me and giving me supper when I was so hungry, +and the champagne. You weren't ashamed of me." + +"Good God, why should I have been!" he exclaimed. + +"You! Why shouldn't you?" she cried fiercely. + +There's hardly a man in that place that wouldn't have been. They all +know me by sight--and some of 'em better. You didn't see 'em grinning +when I came up to you, but I did. My God--it's awful--it's awful I...." +She burst into violent weeping, long deferred. + +He took her hand in his, and did not speak, waiting for the fit to spend +itself . . . . And after a while the convulsive shudders that shook +her gradually ceased. + +"You must trust me," he said. "The first thing tomorrow I'm going to +make arrangements for you to get out of these rooms. You can't stay here +any longer." + +"That's sure," she answered, trying to smile. "I'm broke. I even owe +the co--the policeman." + +"The policeman!" + +"He has to turn it in to Tom Beatty and the politicians" + +Beatty! Where had he heard the name? Suddenly it came to him that +Beatty was the city boss, who had been eulogized by Mr. Plimpton! + +"I have some good friends who will be glad to help you to get work--and +until you do get work. You will have to fight--but we all have to fight. +Will you try?" + +"Sure, I'll try," she answered, in a low voice. + +Her very tone of submission troubled him. And he had a feeling that, if +he had demanded, she would have acquiesced in anything. + +"We'll talk it over to-morrow," he went on, clinging to his note of +optimism. "We'll find out what you can do easiest, to begin with." + +"I might give music lessons," she suggested. + +The remark increased his uneasiness, for he recognized in it a sure +symptom of disease--a relapse into what might almost have been called +levity, blindness to the supreme tragedy of her life which but a moment +before had shaken and appalled her. He shook his head bravely. + +"I'm afraid that wouldn't do--at first." + +She rose and went into the other room, returning in a few moments with a +work basket, from which she drew a soiled and unfinished piece of +embroidery. + +"There's a bureau cover I started when I was at Pratt's," she said, as +she straightened it over her knees. "It's a copy of an expensive one. +I never had the patience to finish it, but one of the salesladies there, +who was an expert, told me it was pretty good: She taught me the stitch, +and I had a notion at that time I might make a little money for dresses +and the theatre. I was always clever with my hands." + +"The very thing!" he said, with hopeful emphasis. "I'm sure I can get +you plenty of it to do. And I'll come back in the morning." + +He gave it back to her, and as she was folding it his glance fell on a +photograph in the basket. + +"I kept it, I don't know why," he heard her say; "I didn't have the heart +to burn it." + +He started recovered himself, and rose. + +"I'll go to see the agent the first thing to-morrow," he said. "And +then--you'll be ready for me? You trust me?" + +"I'd do anything for you," was her tremulous reply. + +Her disquieting, submissive smile haunted him as he roped his way down +the stairs to the street, and then the face in the photograph replaced +it--the laughing eyes, the wilful, pleasure--loving mouth he had seen in +the school and college pictures of Preston Parr. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +By manipulation, by bribery in Councils of the Church +Cumulative misery of the city +Degenerating asceticism, drawn from pagan sources +Making believe that it actually contains happiness +Mysteries of Isis developed into Christian sacraments +Pious frauds of tampering monks +She had been saving herself--for what? + + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + +Volume 5. + + +XVII. RECONSTRUCTION +XVIII. THE RIDDLE OF CAUSATION +XIX. MR. GOODRICH BECOMES A PARTISAN + + + + +CHAPTER XVII + +RECONSTRUCTION + + +I + +Life had indeed become complicated, paradoxical. He, John Hodder, a +clergyman, rector of St. John's by virtue of not having resigned, had +entered a restaurant of ill repute, had ordered champagne for an +abandoned woman, and had no sense of sin when he awoke the next morning! +The devil, in the language of orthodox theology, had led him there. He +had fallen under the influence of the tempter of his youth, and all in +him save the carnal had been blotted out. + +More paradoxes! If the devil had not taken possession of him and led him +there, it were more than probable that he could never have succeeded in +any other way in getting on a footing of friendship with this woman, Kate +Marcy. Her future, to be sure, was problematical. Here was no simple, +sentimental case he might formerly have imagined, of trusting innocence +betrayed, but a mixture of good and evil, selfishness and unselfishness. +And she had, in spite of all, known the love which effaces self!. Could +the disintegration, in her case, be arrested? + +Gradually Hodder was filled with a feeling which may be called amazement +because, although his brain was no nearer to a solution than before, he +was not despondent. For a month he had not permitted his mind to dwell +on the riddle; yet this morning he felt stirring within him a new energy +for which he could not account, a hope unconnected with any mental +process! He felt in touch, once more, faintly but perceptibly, with +something stable in the chaos. In bygone years he had not seen the +chaos, but the illusion of an orderly world, a continual succession of +sunrises, 'couleur de rose', from the heights above Bremerton. Now were +the scales fallen from his eyes; now he saw the evil, the injustice, the +despair; felt, in truth, the weight of the sorrow of it all, and yet that +sorrow was unaccountably transmuted, as by a chemical process, into +something which for the first time had a meaning--he could not say what +meaning. The sting of despair had somehow been taken out of it, and it +remained poignant! + +Not on the obsession of the night before, when he had walked down Dalton +Street and beheld it transformed into a realm of adventure, but upon his +past life did he look back now with horror, upon the even tenor of those +days and years in the bright places. His had been the highroad of a +fancied security, from which he had feared to stray, to seek his God +across the rough face of nature, from black, forgotten capons to the +flying peaks in space. He had feared reality. He had insisted upon +gazing at the universe through the coloured glasses of an outworn +theology, instead of using his own eyes. + +So he had left the highroad, the beaten way of salvation many others had +deserted, had flung off his spectacles, had plunged into reality, to be +scratched and battered, to lose his way. Not until now had something of +grim zest come to him, of an instinct which was the first groping of a +vision, as to where his own path might lie. Through what thickets and +over what mountains he knew not as yet--nor cared to know. He felt +resistance, whereas on the highroad he had felt none. On the highroad +his cry had gone unheeded and unheard, yet by holding out his hand in the +wilderness he had helped another, bruised and bleeding, to her feet! +Salvation, Let it be what it might be, he would go on, stumbling and +seeking, through reality. + +Even this last revelation, of Eldon Parr's agency in another tragedy, +seemed to have no further power to affect him. . . Nor could Hodder +think of Alison as in blood-relationship to the financier, or even to the +boy, whose open, pleasure-loving face he had seen in the photograph. + + + +II + +A presage of autumn was in the air, and a fine, misty rain drifted in at +his windows as he sat at his breakfast. He took deep breaths of the +moisture, and it seemed to water and revive his parching soul. He found +himself, to his surprise, surveying with equanimity the pile of books in +the corner which had led him to the conviction of the emptiness of the +universe--but the universe was no longer empty! It was cruel, but a +warring force was at work in it which was not blind, but directed. He +could not say why this was so, but he knew it, he felt it, sensed its +energy within him as he set out for Dalton Street. + +He was neither happy nor unhappy, but in equilibrium, walking with sure +steps, and the anxiety in which he had fallen asleep the night before was +gone: anxiety lest the woman should have fled, or changed her mind, or +committed some act of desperation. + +In Dalton Street a thin coat of yellow mud glistened on the asphalt, but +even the dreariness of this neighbourhood seemed transient. He rang the +bell of the flat, the door swung open, and in the hall above a woman +awaited him. She was clad in black. + +"You wouldn't know me, would you?" she inquired. "Say, I scarcely know +myself. I used to wear this dress at Pratt's, with white collars and +cuffs and--well, I just put it on again. I had it in the bottom of my +trunk, and I guessed you'd like it." + +"I didn't know you at first," he said, and the pleasure in his face was +her reward. + +The transformation, indeed, was more remarkable than he could have +believed possible, for respectability itself would seem to have been +regained by a costume, and the abundance of her remarkable hair was now +repressed. The absence of paint made her cheeks strangely white, the +hollows under the eyes darker. The eyes themselves alone betrayed the +woman of yesterday; they still burned. + +"Why," he exclaimed, looking around him, "you have been busy, haven't +you?" + +"I've been up since six," she told him proudly. The flat had been +dismantled of its meagre furniture, the rug was rolled up and tied, and a +trunk strapped with rope was in the middle of the floor. Her next remark +brought home to him the full responsibility of his situation. She led +him to the window, and pointed to a spot among the drenched weeds and +rubbish in the yard next door. "Do you see that bottle? That's the +first thing I did--flung it out there. It didn't break," she added +significantly, "and there are three drinks in it yet." + +Once more he confined his approval to his glance. + +"Now you must come and have some breakfast," he said briskly. "If I had +thought about it I should have waited to have it with you." + +"I'm not hungry." In the light of his new knowledge, he connected her +sudden dejection with the sight of the bottle. + +"But you must eat. You're exhausted from all this work. And a cup of +coffee will make all the difference in the world." + +She yielded, pinning on her hat. And he led her, holding the umbrella +over her, to a restaurant in Tower Street, where a man in a white cap and +apron was baking cakes behind a plate-glass window. She drank the +coffee, but in her excitement left the rest of the breakfast almost +untasted. + +"Say," she asked him once, "why are you doing this?" + +"I don't know," he answered, "except that it gives me pleasure." + +"Pleasure?" + +"Yes. It makes me feel as if I were of some use." + +She considered this. + +"Well," she observed, reviled by the coffee, "you're the queerest +minister I ever saw." + +When they had reached the pavement she asked him where they were going. + +"To see a friend of mine, and a friend of yours," he told her. "He does +net live far from here." + +She was silent again, acquiescing. The rain had stopped, the sun was +peeping out furtively through the clouds, the early loiterers in Dalton +Street stared at them curiously. But Hodder was thinking of that house +whither they were bound with a new gratitude, a new wonder that it should +exist. Thus they came to the sheltered vestibule with its glistening +white paint, its polished name plate and doorknob. The grinning, +hospitable darky appeared in answer to the rector's ring. + +"Good morning, Sam," he said; "is Mr. Bentley in?" + +Sam ushered them ceremoniously into the library, and gate Marcy gazed +about her with awe, as at something absolutely foreign to her experience: +the New Barrington Hotel, the latest pride of the city, recently erected +at the corner of Tower and Jefferson and furnished in the French style, +she might partially have understood. Had she been marvellously and +suddenly transported and established there, existence might still have +evinced a certain continuity. But this house! . . + +Mr. Bentley rose from the desk in the corner. + +"Oh, it's you, Hodder," he said cheerfully, laying his hand on the +rector's arm. "I was just thinking about you." + +"This is Miss Marcy, Mr. Bentley," Hodder said. + +Mr. Bentley took her hand and led her to a chair. + +"Mr. Hodder knows how fond I am of young women," he said. "I have six of +them upstairs,--so I am never lonely." + +Mr. Bentley did not appear to notice that her lips quivered. + +Hodder turned his eyes from her face. "Miss Marcy has been lonely," he +explained, "and I thought we might get her a room near by, where she +might see them often. She is going to do embroidery." + +"Why, Sally will know of a room," Mr. Bentley replied. "Sam!" he called. + +"Yessah--yes, Mistah Ho'ace." Sam appeared at the door. + +Ask Miss Sally to come down, if she's not busy." + +Kate Marcy sat dumbly in her chair, her hands convulsively clasping its +arms, her breast heaving stormily, her face becoming intense with the +effort of repressing the wild emotion within her: emotion that threatened +to strangle her if resisted, or to sweep her out like a tide and drown +her in deep waters: emotion that had no one mewing, and yet summed up a +life, mysteriously and overwhelmingly aroused by the sight of a room, and +of a kindly old gentleman who lived in it! + +Mr. Bentley took the chair beside her. + +"Why, I believe it's going to clear off, after all," he exclaimed. +"Sam predicted it, before breakfast. He pretends to be able to tell by +the flowers. After a while I must show you my flowers, Miss Marcy, and +what Dalton Street can do by way of a garden--Mr. Hodder could hardly +believe it, even when he saw it." Thus he went on, the tips of his +fingers pressed together, his head bent forward in familiar attitude, his +face lighted, speaking naturally of trivial things that seemed to suggest +themselves; and careful, with exquisite tact that did not betray itself, +to address both. A passing automobile startled her with the blast of its +horn. "I'm afraid I shall never get accustomed to them," he lamented. +"At first I used to be thankful there were no trolley cars on this +street, but I believe the automobiles are worse." + +A figure flitted through the hall and into the room, which Hodder +recognized as Miss Grower's. She reminded him of a flying shuttle across +the warp of Mr. Bentley's threads, weaving them together; swift, sure, +yet never hurried or flustered. One glance at the speechless woman +seemed to suffice her for a knowledge of the situation. + +"Mr. Hodder has brought us a new friend and neighbour, Sally,--Miss Kate +Marcy. She is to have a room near us, that we may see her often." + +Hodder watched Miss Grower's procedure with a breathless interest. + +"Why, Mrs. McQuillen has a room--across the street, you know, Mr. +Bentley." + +Sally perched herself on the edge of the armchair and laid her hand +lightly on Kate Marcy's. + +Even Sally Grover was powerless to prevent the inevitable, and the touch +of her hand seemed the signal for the release of the pent-up forces. The +worn body, the worn nerves, the weakened will gave way, and Kate Marcy +burst into a paroxysm of weeping that gradually became automatic, +convulsive, like a child's. There was no damming this torrent, once +released. Kindness, disinterested friendship, was the one unbearable +thing. + +"We must bring her upstairs," said Sally Grover, quietly, "she's going to +pieces." + +Hodder helping, they fairly carried her up the flight, and laid her on +Sally Grover's own bed. + +That afternoon she was taken to Mrs. McQuillen's. + +The fiends are not easily cheated. And during the nights and days that +followed even Sally Grower, whose slight frame was tireless, whose +stoicism was amazing, came out of the sick room with a white face and +compressed lips. Tossing on the mattress, Kate Marcy enacted over again +incident after incident of her past life, events natural to an existence +which had been largely devoid of self-pity, but which now, clearly +enough, tested the extreme limits of suffering. Once more, in her +visions, she walked the streets, wearily measuring the dark, empty +blocks, footsore, into the smaller hours of the night; slyly, +insinuatingly, pathetically offering herself--all she possessed--to the +hovering beasts of prey. And even these rejected her, with gibes, with +obscene jests that sprang to her lips and brought a shudder to those who +heard. + +Sometimes they beheld flare up fitfully that mysterious thing called +the human spirit, which all this crushing process had not served to +extinguish. She seemed to be defending her rights, whatever these may +have been! She expostulated with policemen. And once, when Hodder was +present, she brought back vividly to his mind that first night he had +seen her, when she had defied him and sent him away. In moments she +lived over again the careless, reckless days when money and good looks +had not been lacking, when rich food and wines had been plentiful. And +there were other events which Sally Grower and the good-natured +Irishwoman, Mrs. McQuillen, not holding the key, could but dimly +comprehend. Education, environment, inheritance, character--what a +jumble of causes! What Judge was to unravel them, and assign the exact +amount of responsibility? + +There were other terrible scenes when, more than semiconscious, she cried +out piteously for drink, and cursed them for withholding it. And it was +in the midst of one of these that an incident occurred which made a deep +impression upon young Dr. Giddings, hesitating with his opiates, and +assisting the indomitable Miss Grower to hold his patient. In the midst +of the paroxysm Mr. Bentley entered and stood over her by the bedside, +and suddenly her struggles ceased. At first she lay intensely still, +staring at him with wide eyes of fear. He sat down and took her hand, +and spoke to her, quietly and naturally, and her pupils relaxed. She +fell into a sleep, still clinging to his fingers. + +It was Sally who opposed the doctor's wish to send her to a hospital. + +"If it's only a question of getting back her health, she'd better die," +she declared. "We've got but one chance with her, Dr. Giddings, to keep +her here. When she finds out she's been to a hospital, that will be the +end of it with her kind. We'll never get hold of her again. I'll take +care of Mrs. McQuillen." + +Doctor Giddings was impressed by this wisdom. + +"You think you have a chance, Miss Grower?" he asked. He had had a +hospital experience. + +Miss Grower was wont to express optimism in deeds rather than words. + +"If I didn't think so, I'd ask you to put a little more in your +hypodermic next time," she replied. + +And the doctor went away, wondering . . . . + +Drink! Convalescence brought little release for the watchers. The +fiends would retire, pretending to have abandoned the field, only to +swoop down again when least expected. There were periods of calm when it +seemed as though a new and bewildered personality were emerging, amazed +to find in life a kindly thing, gazing at the world as one new-born. And +again, Mrs. McQuillen or Ella Finley might be seen running bareheaded +across the street for Miss Grower. Physical force was needed, as the +rector discovered on one occasion; physical force, and something more, +a dauntlessness that kept Sally Grower in the room after the other women +had fled in terror. Then remorse, despondency, another fear . . . . + +As the weeks went by, the relapses certainly became fewer. Something was +at work, as real in its effects as the sunlight, but invisible. Hodder +felt it, and watched in suspense while it fought the beasts in this +woman, rending her frame in anguish. The frame might succumb, the breath +might leave it to moulder, but the struggle, he knew, would go until the +beasts were conquered. Whence this knowledge?--for it was knowledge. + +On the quieter days of her convalescence she seemed, indeed, more Madonna +than Magdalen as she sat against the pillows, her red-gold hair lying in +two heavy plaits across her shoulders, her cheeks pale; the inner, +consuming fires that smouldered in her eyes died down. At such times her +newly awakened innocence (if it might be called such--pathetic innocence, +in truth!) struck awe into Hodder; her wonder was matched by his own. +Could there be another meaning in life than the pursuit of pleasure, +than the weary effort to keep the body alive? + +Such was her query, unformulated. What animated these persons who had +struggled over her so desperately, Sally Grower, Mr. Bentley, and Hodder +himself? Thus her opening mind. For she had a mind. + +Mr. Bentley was the chief topic, and little by little he became exalted +into a mystery of which she sought the explanation. + +"I never knew anybody like him," she would exclaim. + +"Why, I'd seen him on Dalton Street with the children following him, and +I saw him again that day of the funeral. Some of the girls I knew used +to laugh at him. We thought he was queer. And then, when you brought me +to him that morning and he got up and treated me like a lady, I just +couldn't stand it. I never felt so terrible in my life. I just wanted +to die, right then and there. Something inside of me kept pressing and +pressing, until I thought I would die. I knew what it was to hate +myself, but I never hated myself as I have since then. + +"He never says anything about God, and you don't, but when he comes in +here he seems like God to me. He's so peaceful,--he makes me peaceful. +I remember the minister in Madison,--he was a putty-faced man with +indigestion,--and when he prayed he used to close his eyes and try to +look pious, but he never fooled me. He never made me believe he knew +anything about God. And don't think for a minute he'd have done what you +and Miss Grower and Mr. Bentley did! He used to cross the street to get +out of the way of drunken men--he wouldn't have one of them in his +church. And I know of a girl he drove out of town because she had a baby +and her sweetheart wouldn't marry her. He sent her to hell. Hell's +here--isn't it?" + +These sudden remarks of hers surprised and troubled him. But they had +another effect, a constructive effect. He was astonished, in going over +such conversations afterwards, to discover that her questions and his +efforts to answer them in other than theological terms were both +illuminating and stimulating. Sayings in the Gospels leaped out in his +mind, fired with new meanings; so simple, once perceived, that he was +amazed not to have seen them before. And then he was conscious of a +palpitating joy which left in its wake a profound thankfulness. He made +no attempt as yet to correlate these increments, these glimpses of truth +into a system, but stored them preciously away. + +He taxed his heart and intellect to answer her sensible and helpfully, +and thus found himself avoiding the logic, the Greek philosophy, the +outworn and meaningless phrases of speculation; found himself employing +(with extraordinary effect upon them both) the simple words from which +many of these theories had been derived. "He that hath seen me hath seen +the Father." What she saw in Horace Bentley, he explained, was God. God +wished us to know how to live, in order that we might find happiness, and +therefore Christ taught us that the way to find happiness was to teach +others how to live,--once we found out. Such was the meaning of Christ's +Incarnation, to teach us how to live in order that we might find God and +happiness. And Hodder translated for her the word Incarnation. + +Now, he asked, how were we to recognize God, how might we know how he +wished us to live, unless we saw him in human beings, in the souls into +which he had entered? In Mr. Bentley's soul? Was this too deep? + +She pondered, with flushed face. + +"I never had it put to me like that," she said, presently. "I never +could have known what you meant if I hadn't seen Mr. Bentley." + +Here was a return flash, for him. Thus, teaching he taught. From this +germ he was to evolve for himself the sublime truth that the world grown +better, not through automatic, soul-saving machinery, but by Personality. + +On another occasion she inquired about "original sin;"--a phrase which +had stuck in her memory since the stormings of the Madison preacher. +Here was a demand to try his mettle. + +"It means," he replied after a moment, "that we are all apt to follow the +selfish, animal instincts of our matures, to get all we can for ourselves +without thinking of others, to seek animal pleasures. And we always +suffer for it." + +"Sure," she agreed. "That's what happened to me." + +"And unless we see and know some one like Mr. Bentley," he went on, +choosing his words, "or discover for ourselves what Christ was, and what +he tried to tell us, we go on 'suffering, because we don't see any way +out. We suffer because we feel that we are useless, that other persons +are doing our work." + +"That's what hell is!" She was very keen. "Hell's here," she repeated. + +"Hell may begin here, and so may heaven," he answered. + +"Why, he's in heaven now!" she exclaimed, "it's funny I never thought of +it before." Of course she referred to Mr. Bentley. + +Thus; by no accountable process of reasoning, he stumbled into the path +which was to lead him to one of the widest and brightest of his vistas, +the secret of eternity hidden in the Parable of the Talents! But it will +not do to anticipate this matter . . . . + +The divine in this woman of the streets regenerated by the divine in her +fellow-creatures, was gasping like a new-born babe for breath. And with +what anxiety they watched her! She grew strong again, went with Sally +Drover and the other girls on Sunday excursions to the country, applied +herself to her embroidery with restless zeal for days, only to have it +drop from her nerveless fingers. But her thoughts were uncontrollable, +she was drawn continually to the edge of that precipice which hung over +the waters whence they had dragged her, never knowing when the vertigo +would seize her. And once Sally Drover, on the alert for just such an +occurrence, pursued her down Dalton Street and forced her back . . . + +Justice to Miss Drover cannot be done in these pages. It was she who +bore the brunt of the fierce resentment of the reincarnated fiends when +the other women shrank back in fear, and said nothing to Mr. Bentley or +Hodder until the incident was past. It was terrible indeed to behold +this woman revert--almost in the twinkling of an eye--to a vicious wretch +crazed for drink, to feel that the struggle had to be fought all over +again. Unable to awe Sally Drover's spirit, she would grow piteous. + +"For God's sake let me go--I can't stand it. Let me go to hell--that's +where I belong. What do you bother with me for? I've got a right." + +Once the doctor had to be called. He shook his head. but his eye met +Miss Grower's, and he said nothing. + +"I'll never be able to pull out, I haven't got the strength," she told +Hodder, between sobs. "You ought to have left me be, that was where I +belonged. I can't stand it, I tell you. If it wasn't for that woman +watching me downstairs, and Sally Grower, I'd have had a drink before +this. It ain't any use, I've got so I can't live without it--I don't +want to live." + +And then remorse, self-reproach, despair,--almost as terrible to +contemplate. She swore she would never see Mr. Bentley again, she +couldn't face him. + +Yet they persisted, and gained ground. She did see Mr. Bentley, but what +he said to her, or she to him, will never be known. She didn't speak of +it . . . . + +Little by little her interest was aroused, her pride in her work +stimulated. None was more surprised than Hodder when Sally Grower +informed him that the embroidery was really good; but it was thought +best, for psychological reasons, to discard the old table-cover with its +associations and begin a new one. On occasional evenings she brought her +sewing over to Mr. Bentley's, while Sally read aloud to him and the young +women in the library. Miss Grower's taste in fiction was romantic; her +voice (save in the love passages, when she forgot herself ) sing-song, +but new and unsuspected realms were opened up for Kate Marcy, who would +drop her work and gaze wide-eyed out of the window, into the darkness. + +And it was Sally who must be given credit for the great experiment, +although she took Mr. Bentley and Hodder into her confidence. On it they +staked all. The day came, at last, when the new table-cover was +finished. Miss Grower took it to the Woman's Exchange, actually sold it, +and brought back the money and handed it to her with a smile, and left +her alone. + +An hour passed. At the end of it Kate Marcy came out of her room, +crossed the street, and knocked at the door of Mr. Bentley's library. +Hodder happened to be there. + +"Come in," Mr. Bentley said. + +She entered, breathless, pale. Her eyes, which had already lost much of +the dissipated look, were alight with exaltation. Her face bore evidence +of the severity of the hour of conflict, and she was perilously near to +tears. She handed Mr. Bentley the money. + +"What's this, Kate?" he asked, in his kindly way. + +"It's what I earned, sir," she faltered. "Miss Grower sold the table- +cover. I thought maybe you'd put it aside for me, like you do for the +others. + +"I'll take good care of it," he said. + +"Oh, sir, I don't ever expect to repay you, and Miss Grower and Mr. +Hodder! + +"Why, you are repaying us," he replied, cutting her short, "you are +making us all very happy. And Sally tells me at the Exchange they like +your work so well they are asking for more. I shouldn't have suspected," +he added, with a humorous glance at the rector, "that Mr. Hodder knew so +much about embroidery." + +He rose, and put the money in his desk,--such was his genius for avoiding +situations which threatened to become emotional. + +"I've started another one," she told them, as she departed. + +A few moments later Miss Grower appeared. + +"Sally," said Mr. Bentley, "you're a wise woman. I believe I've made +that remark before. You have managed that case wonderfully." + +"There was a time," replied Miss Grower, thoughtfully, when it looked +pretty black. We've got a chance with her now, I think." + +"I hope so. I begin to feel so," Mr. Bentley declared. + +"If we succeed," Miss Grower went on, "it will be through the heart. And +if we lose her again, it will be through the heart." + +Hodder started at this proof of insight. + +"You know her history, Mr. Hodder?" she asked. + +"Yes," he said. + +"Well, I don't. And I don't care to. But the way to get at Kate Marcy, +light as she is in some respects, is through her feelings. And she's +somehow kept 'em alive. We've got to trust her, from now on--that's the +only way. And that's what God does, anyhow." + +This was one of Miss Grover's rare references to the Deity. + +Turning over that phrase in his mind, Hodder went slowly back towards the +parish house. God trusted individuals--even such as Kate Marcy. What +did that mean? Individual responsibility! He repeated it. Was the +world on that principle, then? It was as though a search-light were +flung ahead of him and he saw, dimly, a new order--a new order in +government and religion. And, as though spoken by a voice out of the +past, there sounded in his ears the text of that sermon which had so +deeply moved him, "I will arise and go to my Father." + +The church was still open, and under the influence of the same strange +excitement which had driven him to walk in the rain so long ago, he +entered and went slowly up the marble aisle. Through the gathering gloom +he saw the figure on the cross. And as he stood gazing at it, a message +for which he had been waiting blazed up within him. + +He would not leave the Church! + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII + +THE RIDDLE OF CAUSATION + + +I + +In order to portray this crisis in the life of Kate Marcy, the outcome of +which is still uncertain, other matters have been ignored. + +How many persons besides John Hodder have seemed to read--in crucial +periods--a meaning into incidents having all the outward appearance of +accidents! What is it that leads us to a certain man or woman at a +certain time, or to open a certain book? Order and design? or influence? + +The night when he had stumbled into the cafe in Dalton Street might well +have been termed the nadir of Hodder's experience. His faith had been +blotted out, and, with it had suddenly been extinguished all spiritual +sense, The beast had taken possession. And then, when it was least +expected,--nay, when despaired of, had come the glimmer of a light; +distant, yet clear. He might have traced the course of his +disillusionment, perhaps, but cause and effect were not discernible here. + +They soon became so, and in the weeks that followed he grew to have the +odd sense of a guiding hand on his shoulder,--such was his instinctive +interpretation of it, rather than the materialistic one of things +ordained. He might turn, in obedience to what seemed a whim, either to +the right or left, only to recognize new blazes that led him on with +surer step; and trivial accidents became events charged with meaning. +He lived in continual wonder. + +One broiling morning, for instance, he gathered up the last of the books +whose contents he had a month before so feverishly absorbed, and which +had purged him of all fallacies. At first he had welcomed them with a +fierce relief, sucked them dry, then looked upon them with loathing. Now +he pressed them gratefully, almost tenderly, as he made his way along the +shady side of the street towards the great library set in its little +park. + +He was reminded, as he passed from the blinding sunlight into the cool +entrance hall, with its polished marble stairway and its statuary, that +Eldon Parr's munificence had made the building possible: that some day +Mr. Parr's bust would stand m that vestibule with that of Judge Henry +Goodrich--Philip Goodrich's grandfather--and of other men who had served +their city and their commonwealth. + +Upstairs, at the desk, he was handing in the volumes to the young woman +whose duty it was to receive them when he was hailed by a brisk little +man in an alpaca coat, with a skin like brown parchment. + +"Why, Mr. Hodder," he exclaimed cheerfully, with a trace of German +accent, "I had an idea you were somewhere on the cool seas with our +friend, Mr. Parr. He spoke, before he left, of inviting you." + +It had been Eldon Parr, indeed, who had first brought Hodder to the +library, shortly after the rector's advent, and Mr. Engel had accompanied +them on a tour of inspection; the financier himself had enjoined the +librarian to "take good care" of the clergyman. Mr. Waring, Mr. +Atterbury; and Mr. Constable were likewise trustees. And since then, +when talking to him, Hodder had had a feeling that Mr. Engel was not +unconscious of the aura--if it may be called such--of his vestry. + +Mr. Engel picked up one of the books as it lay on the counter, and as he +read the title his face betrayed a slight surprise. + +"Modern criticism!" he exclaimed. + +"You have found me out," the rector acknowledged, smiling. + +"Came into my room, and have a chat," said the librarian, coaxingly. + +It was a large chamber at the corner of the building, shaded by awnings, +against which brushed the branches of an elm which had belonged to the +original park. In the centre of the room was a massive oak desk, one +whole side of which was piled high with new volumes. + +"Look there," said the librarian, with a quick wave of his hand, "those +are some which came in this week, and I had them put here to look over. +Two-thirds of 'em on religion, or religious philosophy. Does that +suggest anything to you clergymen?" + +"Do many persons read them, Mr. Engel?" said the rector, at length. + +"Read them!" cried Mr. Engel, quizzically. "We librarians are a sort of +weather-vanes, if people only knew enough to consult us. We can hardly +get a sufficient number of these new religious books the good ones, +I mean--to supply the demand. And the Lord knows what trash is devoured, +from what the booksellers tell me. It reminds me of the days when this +library was down on Fifth Street, years ago, and we couldn't supply +enough Darwins and Huxleys and Spencers and popular science generally. +That was an agnostic age. But now you'd be surprised to see the +different kinds of men and women who come demanding books on religion-- +all sorts and conditions. They're beginning to miss it out of their +lives; they want to know. If my opinion's worth anything, I should not +hesitate to declare that we're on the threshold of a greater religious +era than the world has ever seen." + +Hodder thrust a book back into the pile, and turned abruptly, with a +manner that surprised the librarian. No other clergyman to whom he had +spoken on this subject had given evidence of this strong feeling, and the +rector of St. John's was the last man from whom he would have expected +it. + +"Do you really think so?" Hodder demanded. + +"Why, yes," said Mr. Engel, when he had recovered from his astonishment. +"I'm sure of it. I think clergymen especially--if you will pardon me-- +are apt to forget that this is a reading age. That a great many people +who used to get what instruction they had--ahem--from churches, for +instance, now get it from books. I don't want to say anything to offend +you, Mr. Hodder--" + +"You couldn't," interrupted the rector. He was equally surprised at the +discovery that he had misjudged Mr. Engel, and was drawn towards him now +with a strong sympathy and curiosity. + +"Well," replied Mr. Engel, "I'm glad to hear you say that." He +restrained a gasp. Was this the orthodox Mr. Hodder of St. John's? + +"Why," said Hodder, sitting down, "I've learned, as you have, by +experience. Only my experience hasn't been so hopeful as yours--that is, +if you regard yours as hopeful. It would be hypocritical of me not to +acknowledge that the churches are losing ground, and that those who ought +to be connected with them are not. I am ready to admit that the churches +are at fault. But what you tell me of people reading these books gives +me more courage than I have had for--for some time." + +"Is it so!" ejaculated the little man, relapsing into the German idiom of +his youth. + +"It is," answered the rector, with an emphasis not to be denied. "I wish +you would give me your theory about this phenomenon, and speak frankly." + +"But I thought--" the bewildered librarian began. "I saw you had been +reading those books, but I thought--" + +"Naturally you did," said Holder, smiling. His personality, his +ascendency, his poise, suddenly felt by the other, were still more +confusing. "You thought me a narrow, complacent, fashionable priest who +had no concern as to what happened outside the walls of his church, who +stuck obstinately to dogmas and would give nothing else a hearing. Well, +you were right." + +"Ah, I didn't think all that," Mr. Engel protested, and his parchment +skin actually performed the miracle of flushing. "I am not so stupid. +And once, long ago when I was young, I was going to be a minister +myself." + +"What prevented you?" asked Holder, interested. + +"You want me to be frank--yes, well, I couldn't take the vows." The +brown eyes of the quiet, humorous, self-contained and dried-up custodian +of the city's reading flamed up. "I felt the call," he exclaimed. "You +may not credit it to look at me now, Mr. Hodder. They said to me, 'here +is what you must swear to believe before you can make men and women +happier and more hopeful, rescue them from sin and misery!' You know +what it was." + +Hodder nodded. + +"It was a crime. It had nothing to do with religion. I thought it over +for a year--I couldn't. Oh, I have since been thankful. I can see now +what would have happened to me--I should have had fatty degeneration of +the soul." + +The expression was not merely forcible, it was overwhelming. It brought +up before Holder's mind, with sickening reality, the fate he had himself +escaped. Fatty degeneration of the soul! + +The little man, seeing the expression on the rector's face, curbed his +excitement, and feared he had gone too far. + +"You will pardon me!" he said penitently, "I forget myself. I did not +mean all clergymen." + +"I have never heard it put so well," Holder declared. "That is exactly +what occurs in many cases." + +"Yes, it is that," said Engel, still puzzled, but encouraged, eyeing the +strong face of the other. "And they lament that the ministry hasn't more +big men. Sometimes they get one with the doctrinal type of mind-- +a Newman--but how often? And even a Newman would be of little avail +to-day. It is Eucken who says that the individual, once released from +external authority, can never be turned back to it. And they have been +released by the hundreds of thousands ever since Luther's time, are being +freed by the hundreds of thousands to-day. Democracy, learning, science, +are releasing them, and no man, no matter how great he may be, can stem +that tide. The able men in the churches now--like your Phillips Brooks, +who died too soon--are beginning to see this. They are those who +developed after the vows of the theological schools were behind them. +Remove those vows, and you will see the young men come. Young men are +idealists, Mr. Hodder, and they embrace other professions where the mind +is free, and which are not one whit better paid than the ministry. + +"And what is the result," he cried, "of the senseless insistence on the +letter instead of the spirit of the poetry of religion? Matthew Arnold +was a thousand times right when he inferred that Jesus Christ never spoke +literally and yet he is still being taken literally by most churches, and +all the literal sayings which were put into his mouth are maintained as +Gospel truth! What is the result of proclaiming Christianity in terms of +an ancient science and theology which awaken no quickening response in +the minds and hearts of to-day? That!" The librarian thrust a yellow +hand towards the pile of books. "The new wine has burst the old skin and +is running all over the world. Ah, my friend, if you could only see, as +I do, the yearning for a satisfying religion which exists in this big +city! It is like a vacuum, and those books are rushing to supply it. +I little thought," he added dreamily, "when I renounced the ministry in +so much sorrow that one day I should have a church of my own. This +library is my church, and men and women of all creeds come here by the +thousands. But you must pardon me. I have been carried away--I forgot +myself." + +"Mr. Engel," replied the rector, "I want you to regard me as one of your +parishioners." + +The librarian looked at him mutely, and the practical, desiccated little +person seemed startlingly transformed into a mediaeval, German mystic. + +"You are a great man, Mr. Hodder," he said. "I might have guessed it." + +It was one of the moments when protest would have been trite, +superfluous. And Hodder, in truth, felt something great swelling within +him, something that was not himself, and yet strangely was. But just +what--in view of his past strict orthodoxy and limited congregation-- +Mr. Engel meant, he could not have said. Had the librarian recognized, +without confession on his part, the change in him? divined his future +intentions? + +"It is curious that I should have met you this morning, Mr. Engel," he +said. "I expressed surprise when you declared this was a religious age, +because you corroborated something I had felt, but of which I had no +sufficient proof. I felt that a great body of unsatisfied men and women +existed, but that I was powerless to get in touch with them; I had +discovered that truth, as you have so ably pointed out, is disguised and +distorted by ancient dogmas; and that the old Authority, as you say, no +longer carries weight." + +"Have you found the new one?" Mr. Engel demanded. + +"I think I have," the rector answered calmly, "it lies in personality. +I do not know whether you will agree with me that the Church at large has +a future, and I will confess to you that there was a time when I thought +she had not. I see now that she has, once given to her ministers that +freedom to develop of which you speak. In spite of the fact that truth +has gradually been revealed to the world by what may be called an +Apostolic Succession of Personalities,--Augustine, Dante, Francis of +Assisi, Luther, Shakespeare, Milton, and our own Lincoln and Phillips +Brooks,--to mention only a few,--the Church as a whole has been blind to +it. She has insisted upon putting the individual in a straitjacket, she +has never recognized that growth is the secret of life, that the clothes +of one man are binding on another." + +"Ah, you are right--a thousand times right," cried the librarian. "You +have read Royce, perhaps, when he says, 'This mortal shall put on +individuality--'" + +"No," said the rector, outwardly cool, but inwardly excited by the +coruscation of this magnificent paraphrase of Paul's sentence, by the +extraordinary turn the conversation had taken. "I am ashamed to own that +I have not followed the development of modern philosophy. The books I +have just returned, on historical criticism," he went on, after a +moment's hesitation, "infer what my attitude has been toward modern +thought. We were made acquainted with historical criticism in the +theological seminary, but we were also taught to discount it. I have +discounted it, refrained from reading it,--until now. And yet I have +heard it discussed in conferences, glanced over articles in the reviews. +I had, you see, closed the door of my mind. I was in a state where +arguments make no impression." + +The librarian made a gesture of sympathetic assent, which was also a +tribute to the clergyman's frankness. + +"You will perhaps wonder how I could have lived these years in an +atmosphere of modern thought and have remained uninfluenced. Well, I +have recently been wondering--myself." Hodder smiled. "The name of +Royce is by no means unfamiliar to me, and he taught at Harvard when I +was an undergraduate. But the prevailing philosophy of that day among +the students was naturalism. I represent a revolt from it. At the +seminary I imbibed a certain amount of religious philosophy--but I did +not continue it, as thousands of my more liberal fellow-clergymen have +done. My religion 'worked' during the time, at least, I remained in my +first parish. I had no interest in reconciling, for instance, the +doctrine of evolution with the argument for design. Since I have been +here in this city," he added, simply, "my days have been filled with a +continued perplexity--when I was not too busy to think. Yes, there was +an unacknowledged element of fear in my attitude, though I comforted +myself with the notion that opinions, philosophical and scientific, were +in a state of flux." + +"Yes, yes," said Mr. Engel, "I comprehend. But, from the manner in which +you spoke just now, I should have inferred that you have been reading +modern philosophy--that of the last twenty years. Ah, you have +something before you, Mr. Hodder. You will thank God, with me, for that +philosophy. It has turned the tide, set the current running the other +way. Philosophy is no longer against religion, it is with it. And if +you were to ask me to name one of the greatest religious teachers of +our age, I should answer, William James. And there is Royce, of whom I +spoke,--one of our biggest men. The dominant philosophies of our times +have grown up since Arnold wrote his 'Literature and Dogma,' and they are +in harmony with the quickening social spirit of the age, which is a +religious spirit--a Christian spirit, I call it. Christianity is coming +to its own. These philosophies, which are not so far apart, are the +flower of the thought of the centuries, of modern science, of that most +extraordinary of discoveries, modern psychology. And they are far from +excluding religion, from denying the essential of Christ's teachings. +On the other hand, they grant that the motive-power of the world is +spiritual. + +"And this," continued Mr. Engel, "brings me to another aspect of +authority. I wonder if it has struck you? In mediaeval times, when a +bishop spoke ex cathedra, his authority, so far as it carried weight, +came from two sources. First, the supposed divine charter of the Church +to save and damn. That authority is being rapidly swept away. Second, +he spoke with all the weight of the then accepted science and philosophy. +But as soon as the new science began to lay hold on people's minds, as-- +for instance--when Galileo discovered that the earth moved instead of the +sun (and the pope made him take it back), that second authority began to +crumble too. In the nineteenth century science had grown so strong that +the situation looked hopeless. Religion had apparently irrevocably lost +that warrant also, and thinking men not spiritually inclined, since they +had to make a choice between science and religion, took science as being +the more honest, the more certain. + +"And now what has happened? The new philosophies have restored your +second Authority, and your first, as you properly say, is replaced by the +conception of Personality. Personality is nothing but the rehabilitation +of the prophet, the seer. Get him, as Hatch says, back into your Church. +The priests with their sacrifices and automatic rites, the logicians, +have crowded him out. Why do we read the Old Testament at all? Not for +the laws of the Levites, not for the battles and hangings, but for the +inspiration of the prophets. The authority of the prophet comes through +personality, the source of which is in what Myers calls the infinite +spiritual world--in God. It was Christ's own authority. + +"And as for your other authority, your ordinary man, when he reads modern +philosophy, says to himself, this does not conflict with science? But he +gets no hint, when he goes to most churches, that there is, between the +two, no real quarrel, and he turns away in despair. He may accept the +pragmatism of James, the idealism of Royce, or even what is called neo +realism. In any case, he gains the conviction that a force for good is +at worn in the world, and he has the incentive to become part of it..... +But I have given you a sermon!" + +"For which I can never be sufficiently, grateful," said Hodder, with an +earnestness not to be mistaken. + +The little man's eyes rested admiringly, and not without emotion, on the +salient features of the tall clergyman. And when he spoke again, it was +in acknowledgment of the fact that he had read Hodder's purpose. + +"You will have opposition, my friend. They will fight you--some persons +we know. They do not wish--what you and I desire. But you will not +surrender--I knew it." Mr. Engel broke off abruptly, and rang a bell on +his desk. "I will make out for you a list. I hope you may come in +again, often. We shall have other talks,--yes? I am always here." + +Then it came to pass that Hodder carried back with him another armful of +books. Those he had brought back were the Levellers of the False. These +were the Builders of the True. + + + +II + +Hodder had known for many years that the writings of Josiah Royce and of +William James had "been in the air," so to speak, and he had heard them +mentioned at dinner parties by his more intellectual parishioners, such +as Mrs. Constable and Martha Preston. Now he was able to smile at his +former attitude toward these moderns, whose perusal he had deprecated as +treason to the saints! And he remembered his horror on having listened +to a fellow-clergyman discuss with calmness the plan of the "Varieties of +Religious Experiences." A sacrilegious dissection of the lives of these +very saints! The scientific process, the theories of modern psychology +applied with sang-froid to the workings of God in the human soul! +Science he had regarded as the proclaimed enemy of religion, and in these +days of the apotheosis of science not even sacred things were spared. + +Now Hodder saw what the little librarian had meant by an authority +restored. The impartial method of modern science had become so firmly +established in the mind of mankind by education and reading that the +ancient unscientific science of the Roman Empire, in which orthodox +Christianity was clothed, no longer carried authority. In so far as +modern science had discovered truth, religion had no quarrel with it. +And if theology pretended to be the science of religion, surely it must +submit to the test of the new science! The dogged clinging to the +archaic speculations of apologists, saints, and schoolmen had brought +religion to a low ebb indeed. + +One of the most inspiring books he read was by an English clergyman of +his own Church whom he had formerly looked upon as a heretic, with all +that the word had once implied. It was a frank yet reverent study of the +self-consciousness of Christ, submitting the life and teachings of Jesus +to modern criticism and the scientific method. And the Saviour's +divinity, rather than being lessened, was augmented. Hodder found it +infinitely refreshing that the so-called articles of Christian belief, +instead of being put first and their acceptance insisted upon, were made +the climax of the investigation. + +Religion, he began to perceive, was an undertaking, are attempt to find +unity and harmony of the soul by adopting, after mature thought, a +definite principle in life. If harmony resulted,--if the principle +worked, it was true. Hodder kept an open mind, but he became a +pragmatist so far. Science, on the other hand, was in a sphere by +herself, and need have no conflict with religion; science was not an +undertaking, but an impartial investigation by close observation of facts +in nature. Her object was to discover truths by these methods alone. +She had her theories, indeed, but they must be submitted to rigorous +tests. This from a book by Professor Perry, an advocate of the new +realism. + +On the other hand there were signs that modern science, by infinitesimal +degrees, might be aiding in the solution of the Mystery . . . . + +But religion, Hodder saw, was trusting. Not credulous, silly trusting, +but thoughtful trusting, accepting such facts as were definitely known. +Faith was trusting. And faith without works was dead simply because +there could be no faith without works. There was no such thing as belief +that did not result in act. + +A paragraph which made a profound impression on Hodder at that time +occurs in James's essay, "Is life worth living?" + +"Now-what do I mean by I trusting? Is the word to carry with it +license to define in detail an invisible world, and to authorize and +excommunicate those whose trust is different? . . Our faculties of +belief were not given us to make orthodoxies and heresies withal; they +were given us to live by. And to trust our religions demands men first +of all to live in the light of them, and to act as if the invisible world +which they suggest were real. It is a fact of human nature that man can +live and die by the help of a sort of faith that goes without a single +dogma and definition." + +Yet it was not these religious philosophies which had saved him, though +the stimulus of their current had started his mind revolving like a +motor. Their function, he perceived now, was precisely to compel him to +see what had saved him, to reenforce it with the intellect, with the +reason, and enable him to save others. The current set up,--by a +thousand suggestions of which he made notes,--a personal construction, +coordination, and he had the exhilaration of feeling, within him, a +creative process all his own. Behold a mystery 'a paradox'--one of many. +As his strength grew greater day by day, as his vision grew clearer, he +must exclaim with Paul: "Yet not I, but the grace of God which was with +me!" + +He, Hodder, was but an instrument transmitting power. And yet--oh +paradox!--the instrument continued to improve, to grow stronger, to +develop individuality and personality day by day! Life, present and +hereafter, was growth, development, the opportunity for service in a +cause. To cease growing was to die. + +He perceived at last the form all religion takes is that of consecration +to a Cause,--one of God's many causes. The meaning of life is to find +one's Cause, to lose one's self in it. His was the liberation of the +Word,--now vouchsafed to him; the freeing of the spark from under the +ashes. The phrase was Alison's. To help liberate the Church, fan into +flame the fire which was to consume the injustice, the tyranny, the +selfishness of the world, until the Garvins, the Kate Marcys, the stunted +children, and anaemic women were no longer possible. + +It was Royce who, in one illuminating sentence, solved for him the +puzzle, pointed out whence his salvation had come. "For your cause can +only be revealed to you through some presence that first teaches you to +love the unity of the spiritual life. . . You must find it in human +shape." + +Horace Bentley! + +He, Hodder, had known this, but known it vaguely, without sanction. The +light had shone for him even in the darkness of that night in Dalton +Street, when he thought to have lost it forever. And he had awakened the +next morning, safe,--safe yet bewildered, like a half drowned man on warm +sands in the sun. + +"The will of the spiritual world, the divine will, revealed in man." +What sublime thoughts, as old as the Cross itself, yet continually and +eternally new! + + + +III + +There was still another whose face was constantly before him, and the +reflection of her distressed yet undaunted soul,--Alison Parr. The +contemplation of her courage, of her determination to abide by nothing +save the truth, had had a power over him that he might not estimate, and +he loved her as a man loves a woman, for her imperfections. And he loved +her body and her mind. + +One morning, as he walked back from Mrs. Bledsoe's through an +unfrequented, wooded path of the Park, he beheld her as he had summoned +her in his visions. She was sitting motionless, gazing before her with +clear eyes, as at the Fates. . . + +She started on suddenly perceiving him, but it was characteristic of her +greeting that she seemed to feel no surprise at the accident which had +brought them together. + +"I am afraid," he said, smiling, "that I have broken in on some profound +reflections." + +She did not answer at once, but looked up at him, as he stood over her, +with one of her strange, baffling gazes, in which there was the hint of a +welcoming smile. + +"Reflection seems to be a circular process with me," she answered. "I +never get anywhere--like you." + +"Like me!" he exclaimed, seating himself on the bench. Apparently their +intercourse, so long as it should continue, was destined to be on the +basis of intimacy in which it had begun. It was possible at once to be +aware of her disturbing presence, and yet to feel at home in it. + +"Like you, yes," she said, continuing to examine him. "You've changed +remarkably." + +In his agitation, at this discovery of hers he again repeated her words. + +"Why, you seem happier, you look happier. It isn't only that, I can't +explain how you impress me. It struck me when you were talking to Mr. +Bentley the other day. You seem to see something you didn't see when +I first met you, that you didn't see the first time we were at Mr. +Bentley's together. Your attitude is fixed--directed. You have made a +decision of some sort--a momentous one, I rather think." + +"Yes," he replied, "you are right. It's more than remarkable that you +should have guessed it." + +She remained silent + +"I have decided," he found himself saying abruptly, "to continue in the +Church." + +Still she was silent, until he wondered whether she would answer him. He +had often speculated to himself how she would take this decision, but he +could make no surmise from her expression as she stared off into the +wood. Presently she turned her head, slowly, and looked into his face. +Still she did not speak. + +"You are wondering how I can do it," he said. + +"Yes," she acknowledged, in a low voice. + +"I should like you to know--that is why I spoke of it. You have never +asked me, and I have never told you that the convictions I formerly held +I lost. And with them, for a while, went everything. At least so I +believed." + +"I knew it," she answered, "I could see that, too." + +"When I argued with you, that afternoon,--the last time we talked +together alone,--I was trying to convince myself, and you--" he +hesitated, "--that there was something. The fact that you could not +seem to feel it stimulated me." + +He read in her eyes that she understood him. And he dared not, nor did +he need to emphasize further his own intense desire that she should find +a solution of her own. + +"I wish you to know what I am telling you for two reasons," he went on. +"It was you who spoke the words that led to the opening of my eyes to the +situation into which I had been drifting for two years, who compelled me +to look upon the inconsistencies and falsities which had gradually been +borne in upon me. It was you, I think, who gave me the courage to face +this situation squarely, since you possess that kind of courage +yourself." + +"Oh, no," she cried. "You would have done it anyway." + +He paused a moment, to get himself in hand. + +"For this reason, I owed it to you to speak--to thank you. I have +realized, since that first meeting, that you became my friend then, +and that you spoke as a friend. If you had not believed in my sincerity, +you would not have spoken. I wish you to know that I am fully aware and +grateful for the honour you did me, and that I realize it is not always +easy for you to speak so--to any one." + +She did not reply. + +"There is another reason for my telling you now of this decision of +mine to remain a clergyman," he continued. "It is because I value your +respect and friendship, and I hope you will believe that I would not take +this course unless I saw my way clear to do it with sincerity." + +"One has only to look at you to see that you are sincere," she said +gently, with a thrill in her voice that almost unmanned him. "I told you +once that I should never have forgiven myself if I had wrecked your life. +I meant it. I am very glad." + +It was his turn to be silent. + +"Just because I cannot see how it would be possible to remain in the +Church after one had been--emancipated, so to speak,"--she smiled at +him,--"is no reason why you may not have solved the problem." + +Such was the superfine quality of her honesty. Yet she trusted him! +He was made giddy by a desire, which he fought down, to justify himself +before her. His eye beheld her now as the goddess with the scales in her +hand, weighing and accepting with outward calm the verdict of the balance +. . . . Outward calm, but inner fire. + +"It makes no difference," she pursued evenly, bent on choosing her words, +"that I cannot personally understand your emancipation, that mine is +different. I can only see the preponderance of evil, of deception, +of injustice--it is that which shuts out everything else. And it's +temperamental, I suppose. By looking at you, as I told you, I can see +that your emancipation is positive, while mine remains negative. You +have somehow regained a conviction that the good is predominant, that +there is some purpose in the universe." + +He assented. Once more she relapsed into thought, while he sat +contemplating her profile. She turned to him again with a tremulous +smile. + +"But isn't a conviction that the good is predominant, that there is a +purpose in the universe, a long way from the positive assertions in the +Creeds?" she asked. "I remember, when I went through what you would +probably call disintegration, and which seemed to me enlightenment, that +the Creeds were my first stumbling-blocks. It seemed wrong to repeat +them." + +"I am glad you spoke of this," he replied gravely. "I have arrived at +many answers to that difficulty--which did not give me the trouble I had +anticipated. In the first place, I am convinced that it was much more of +a difficulty ten, twenty, thirty years ago than it is to-day. That which +I formerly thought was a radical tendency towards atrophy, the drift of +the liberal party in my own Church and others, as well as that which I +looked upon with some abhorrence as the free-thinking speculation of many +modern writers, I have now come to see is reconstruction. The results of +this teaching of religion in modern terms are already becoming apparent, +and some persons are already beginning to see that the Creeds express +certain elemental truths in frankly archaic language. All this should be +explained in the churches and the Sunday schools,--is, in fact, being +explained in some, and also in books for popular reading by clergymen of +my own Church, both here and in England. We have got past the critical +age." + +She followed him closely, but did not interrupt. + +"I do not mean to say that the Creeds are not the sources of much +misunderstanding, but in my opinion they do not constitute a sufficient +excuse for any clergyman to abandon his Church on account of them. +Indeed there are many who interpret them by modern thought--which is +closer to the teachings of Christ than ancient thought--whose honesty +cannot be questioned. Personally, I think that the Creeds either ought +to be taken out of the service; or changed, or else there should be a +note inserted in the service and catechism definitely permitting a +liberal interpretation which is exactly what so many clergymen, candidly, +do now. + +"When I was ordained a deacon, and then a priest, I took vows which would +appear to be literally conflicting. Compelled to choose between these +vows, I accept that as supreme which I made when I affirmed that I would +teach nothing which I should be persuaded might not be concluded and +affirmed by the Scripture. The Creeds were derived from the Scripture +--not the Scripture from the Creeds. As an individual among a body of +Christians I am powerless to change either the ordinal vows or the +Creeds, I am obliged to wait for the consensus of opinion. But if, +on the whole, I can satisfy my conscience in repeating the Creeds and +reading the service, as other honest men are doing--if I am convinced +that I have an obvious work to do in that Church, it would be cowardly +for me to abandon that work." + +Her eyes lighted up. + +"I see what you mean," she said, "by staying in you can do many things +that you could not do, you can help to bring about the change, by being +frank. That is your point of view. You believe m the future of the +Church." + +"I believe in an universal, Christian organization," he replied. + +"But while stronger men are honest," she objected, "are not your ancient +vows and ancient Creeds continually making weaker men casuists?" + +"Undoubtedly," he agreed vigorously, and thought involuntarily of Mr. +Engel's phrased fatty degeneration of the soul. "Yet I can see the +signs, on all sides, of a gradual emancipation, of which I might be +deemed an example." A smile came into his eyes, like the sun on a +grey-green sea. + +"Oh, you could never be a casuist!" she exclaimed, with a touch of +vehemence. "You are much too positive. It is just that note, which is +characteristic of so many clergymen, that note of smoothing-over and +apology, which you lack. I could never feel it, even when you were +orthodox. And now--" words failed her as she inspected his ruggedness. + +"And now," he took her up, to cover his emotion, "now I am not to be +classified!" + +Still examining him, she reflected on this. + +"Classified?" Isn't it because you're so much of an individual that one +fails to classify you? You represent something new to my experience, +something which seems almost a contradiction--an emancipated Church." + +"You imagined me out of the Church,--but where?" he demanded. + +"That's just it," she wondered intimately, "where? When I try, I can see +no other place for you. Your place as in the pulpit." + +He uttered a sharp exclamation, which she did not heed. + +"I can't imagine you doing institutional work, as it is called,--you're +not fitted for it, you'd be wasted in it. You gain by the historic +setting of the Church, and yet it does not absorb you. Free to preach +your convictions, unfettered, you will have a power over people that will +be tremendous. You have a very strong personality." + +She set his heart, his mind, to leaping by this unexpected confirmation +on her part of his hopes, and yet the man in him was intent upon the +woman. She had now the air of detached judgment, while he could not +refrain from speculating anxiously on the effect of his future course on +her and on their intimate relationship. He forbore from thinking, now, +of the looming events which might thrust them apart,--put a physical +distance between them,--his anxiety was concerned with the possible +snapping of the thread of sympathy which had bound them. In this +respect, he dreaded her own future as much as his own. What might she +do? For he felt, in her, a potential element of desperation; a capacity +to commit, at any moment, an irretrievable act. + +"Once you have made your ideas your own," she mused, "you will have the +power of convincing people." + +"And yet--" + +"And yet"--she seized his unfinished sentence, "you are not at all +positive of convincing me. I'll give you the credit of forbearing to +make proselytes." She smiled at him. + +Thus she read him again. + +"If you call making proselytes a desire to communicate a view of life +which gives satisfaction--" he began, in his serious way. + +"Oh, I want to be convinced!" she exclaimed, penitently, "I'd give +anything to feel as you feel. There's something lacking in me, there +must be, and I have only seen the disillusionizing side. You infer that +the issue of the Creeds will crumble,--preach the new, and the old will +fall away of itself. But what is the new? How, practically, do you deal +with the Creeds? We have got off that subject." + +"You wish to know?" he asked. + +"Yes--I wish to know." + +"The test of any doctrine is whether it can be translated into life, +whether it will make any difference to the individual who accepts it. +The doctrines expressed in the Creeds must stand or fall by the test. +Consider, for instance, the fundamental doctrine in the Creeds, that of +the Trinity, which has been much scoffed at. A belief in God, you will +admit, has an influence on conduct, and the Trinity defines the three +chief aspects of the God in whom Christians believe. Of what use to +quarrel with the word Person if God be conscious? And the character of +God has an influence on conduct. The ancients deemed him wrathful, +jealous, arbitrary, and hence flung themselves before him and propitiated +him. If the conscious God of the universe be good, he is spoken of as a +Father. He is as once, in this belief, Father and Creator. And inasmuch +as it is known that the divine qualities enter into man, and that one +Man, Jesus, whose composite portrait--it is agreed--could not have been +factitiously invented, was filled with them, we speak of God in man as +the Son. And the Spirit of God that enters into the soul of man, +transforming, inspiring, and driving him, is the Third Person, so-called. +There is no difficulty so far, granted the initial belief in a beneficent +God. + +"If we agree that life has a meaning, and, in order to conform to the +purpose of the Spirit of the Universe, must be lived in one way, we +certainly cannot object to calling that right way of living, that decree +of the Spirit, the Word. + +"The Incarnate Word, therefore, is the concrete example of a human being +completely filled with the Spirit, who lives a perfect life according to +its decree. Ancient Greek philosophy called this decree, this meaning of +life, the Logos, and the Nicene Creed is a confession of faith in that +philosophy. Although this creed is said to have been, scandalously +forced through the council of Nicaea by an emperor who had murdered his +wife and children, and who himself was unbaptized, against a majority of +bishops who would, if they had dared Constantine's displeasure, have +given the conscience freer play, to-day the difficulty has, practically +disappeared. The creed is there in the prayer book, and so long as it +remains we are at liberty to interpret the ancient philosophy in which it +is written--and which in any event could not have been greatly improved +upon at that time--in our own modern way, as I am trying to explain it to +you. + +"Christ was identified with the Logos, or Word, which must have had a +meaning for all time, before and after its, complete revelation. And +this is what the Nicene Creed is trying to express when it says, +'Begotten of his Father before all worlds.' In other words, the purpose +which Christ revealed always existed. The awkward expression of the +ancients, declaring that he 'came down' for our salvation (enlightenment) +contains a fact we may prove by experience, if we accept the meaning he +put upon existence, and adopt this meaning as our scheme of life. But +we: must first be quite clear, as: to this meaning. We may and do +express all this differently, but it has a direct bearing on life. It is +the doctrine of the Incarnation. We begins to perceive through it that +our own incarnations mean something, and that our task is to discover +what they do mean--what part in the world purpose we are designed to play +here. + +"Incarnate by the Holy Ghost of the Virgin Mary is an emphasis on the +fact that man born of woman may be divine. But the ignorant masses of +the people of the Roman Empire were undoubtedly incapable of grasping a +theory of the Incarnation put forward in the terms of Greek philosophy; +while it was easy for them, with their readiness to believe in nature +miracles, to accept the explanation of Christ's unique divinity as due to +actual, physical generation by the Spirit. And the wide belief in the +Empire in gods born in this way aided such a conception. Many thousands +were converted to Christianity when a place was found in that religion +for a feminine goddess, and these abandoned the worship of Isis, Demeter, +and Diana for that of the Virgin Mary. Thus began an evolution which is +still going on, and we see now that it was impossible that the world +should understand at once the spiritual meaning of life as Christ taught +it--that material facts merely symbolize the divine. For instance, the +Gospel of John has been called the philosophical or spiritual gospel. +And in spite of the fact that it has been assailed and historically +discredited by modern critics, for me it serves to illuminate certain +truths of Christ's message and teaching that the other Gospels do not. +Mark, the earliest Gospel, does not refer to the miraculous birth. At +the commencements of Matthew and Luke you will read of it, and it is to +be noted that the rest of these narratives curiously and naively +contradict it. Now why do we find the miraculous birth in these Gospels +if it had not been inserted in order to prove, in a manner acceptable to +simple and unlettered minds, the Theory of the Incarnation, Christ's +preexistence? I do not say the insertion was deliberate. And it is +difficult for us moderns to realize the polemic spirit in which the +Gospels were written. They were clearly not written as history. The +concern of the authors, I think, was to convert their readers to Christ. + +"When we turn to John, what do we find? In the opening verses of this +Gospel the Incarnation is explained, not by a virgin birth, but in a +manner acceptable to the educated and spiritually-minded, in terms of the +philosophy of the day. And yet how simply! 'In the beginning was the +Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.' I prefer John's +explanation. + +"It is historically true that, in the earlier days when the Apostles' +Creed was put forth, the phrase 'born of they Virgin Mary' was inserted +for the distinct purpose of laying stress on the humanity of Christ, and +to controvert the assertion of the Gnostic sect that he was not born at +all, but appeared in the world in some miraculous way. + +"Thus to-day, by the aid of historical research, we are enabled to regard +the Creeds in the light of their usefulness to life. The myth of the +virgin birth probably arose through the zeal of some of the writers of +the Gospels to prove that the prophecy of Isaiah predicted the advent of +the Jewish Messiah who should be born of a virgin. Modern scholars are +agreed that the word Olmah which Isaiah uses does not mean virgin, but +young woman. There is quite a different Hebrew word for 'virgin.' The +Jews, at the time the Gospels were written, and before, had forgotten +their ancient Hebrew. Knowing this mistake, and how it arose, we may +repeat the word Virgin Mary in the sense used by many early Christians, +as designating the young woman who was the mother of Christ. + +"I might mention one or two other phrases, archaic and obscure. +'The Resurrection of the Body' may refer to the phenomenon of Christ's +reappearance after death, for which modern psychology may or may not +account. A little reflection, however, convinces one that the phenomenon +did take place in some manner, or else, I think, we should never have +heard of Christ. You will remember that the Apostles fled after his +death on the cross, believing what he had told them was all only a dream. +They were human, literal and cowardly, and they still needed some kind of +inner, energizing conviction that the individuality persisted after +death, that the solution of human life was victory over it, in order to +gain the courage to go out and preach the Gospel and face death +themselves. And it was Paul who was chiefly instrumental in freeing the +message from the narrow bounds of Palestine and sending it ringing down +the ages to us. The miracle doesn't lie in what Paul saw, but in the +whole man transformed, made incandescent, journeying tirelessly to the +end of his days up and down the length and breadth of the empire, +labouring, as he says, more abundantly than they all. It is idle to say +that the thing which can transform a man's entire nature and life is not +a reality." + +She had listened, motionless, as under the spell of his words. Self- +justification, as he proceeded, might easily have fused itself into a +desire to convince her of the truth of his beliefs. But he was not +deceived, he knew her well enough to understand, to feel the indomitable +spirit of resistance in her. Swayed she could be, but she would mot +easily surrender. + +"There is another phrase," she said after a moment, "which I have never +heard explained, 'descended into hell.'" + +"It was merely a matter of controverting those who declared Christ was +taken from the cross before he died. In the childish science of the +time, to say that one descended into hell was to affirm that he was +actually dead, since the souls of the departed were supposed to go at +once to hell. Hell and heaven were definite places. To say that Christ +ascended to heaven and sat on the right hand of the Father is to declare +one's faith that his responsible work in the spiritual realm continues." + +"And the Atonement? doesn't that imply a sacrifice of propitiation?" + +"Atonement may be pronounced At-one-ment," Hodder replied. "The old +idea, illustrated by a reference to the sacrifice of the ancients, fails +to convey the truth to modern minds. And moreover, as I have inferred, +these matters had to be conveyed in symbols until mankind were prepared +to grasp the underlying spiritual truths which Christ sought to convey. +Orthodox Christianity has been so profoundly affected by the ancient +Jewish religion that the conception of God as wrathful and jealous--a God +wholly outside--has persisted to our times. The Atonement means union +with the Spirit of the Universe through vicarious suffering, and +experience teaches us that our own sufferings are of no account unless +they be for a cause, for the furtherance of the design of the beneficent +Spirit which is continually at work. Christ may be said to have died for +humanity because he had to suffer death itself in order to reveal the +complete meaning of life. You once spoke to me about the sense of sin-- +of being unable to feel it." + +She glanced at him quickly, but did not speak. + +"There is a theory concerning this," he continued, "which has undoubtedly +helped many people, and which may be found in the writings of certain +modern psychologists. It is that we have a conscious, or lower, human +self, and a subconscious, or better self. This subconscious self +stretches down, as it were, into the depths of the universe and taps the +source of spiritual power. And it is through the subconscious self that +every man is potentially divine. Potentially, because the conscious self +has to reach out by an effort of the will to effect this union with the +spiritual in the subconscious, and when it is effected, it comes from the +response of the subconscious. Apparently from without, as a gift, and +therefore, in theological language, it is called grace. This is what is +meant by being born again, the incarnation of the Spirit in the +conscious, or human. The two selves are no longer divided, and the +higher self assumes control,--takes the reins, so to speak. + +"It is interesting, as a theory. And the fact that it has been seriously +combated by writers who deny such a function of the subconscious does not +at all affect the reality of the experience. + +"Once we have had a vision of the true meaning of life a vision which +stirs the energies of our being, what is called 'a sense of sin' +inevitably follows. It is the discontent, the regret, in the light +of a higher knowledge, for the: lost opportunities, for a past life +which has been uncontrolled by any unifying purpose, misspent in futile +undertakings, wasted, perhaps, in follies and selfish caprices which have +not only harmed ourselves but others. Although we struggle, yet by +habit, by self-indulgence, by lack of a sustained purpose, we have formed +a character from which escape seems hopeless. And we realize that in +order to change ourselves, an actual regeneration of the will is +necessary. For awhile, perchance, we despair of this. The effort to get +out of the rut we have made for ourselves seems of no avail. And it is +not, indeed, until we arrive, gradually or otherwise, and through a +proper interpretation of the life of Christ, at the conviction that we +may even never become useful in the divine scheme that we have a sense of +what is called 'the forgiveness of sins.' This conviction, this grace, +this faith to embark on the experiment accomplishes of itself the revival +of the will, the rebirth which we had thought impossible. We discover +our task, high or humble,--our cause. We grow marvellously at one with +God's purpose, and we feel that our will is acting in the same direction +as his. And through our own atonement we see the meaning of that other +Atonement which led Christ to the Cross. We see that our conviction, our +grace, has come through him, and how he died for our sins." + +"It's quite wonderful how logical and simple you make it, how thoroughly +yon have gone into it. You have solved it for yourself--and you will +solve it for others many others." + +She rose, and he, too, got to his feet with a medley of feelings. +The path along which they walked was already littered with green acorns. +A gray squirrel darted ahead of them, gained a walnut and paused, +quivering, halfway up the trunk, to gaze back at them. And the glance +she presently gave him seemed to partake of the shyness of the wild +thing. + +"Thank you for explaining it to me," she said. + +"I hope you don't think--" he began. + +"Oh, it isn't that!" she cried, with unmistakable reproach. "I asked you +--I made you tell me. It hasn't seemed at all like--the confessional," +she added, and smiled and blushed at the word. "You have put it so +nicely, so naturally, and you have given me so much to think about. But +it all depends--doesn't it?--upon whether one can feel the underlying +truth of which you spoke in the first place; it rests upon a sense of the +prevailing goodness of things. It seems to me cruel that what is called +salvation, the solution of the problem of life, should depend upon an +accidental discovery. We are all turned loose with our animal passions +and instincts, of self-preservation, by an indifferent Creator, in a +wilderness, and left to find our way out as best we can. You answer that +Christ showed us the way. There are elements in his teaching I cannot +accept--perhaps because I have been given a wrong interpretation of them. +I shall ask you more questions some day. + +"But even then," she continued, "granted that Christ brought the complete +solution, as you say, why should so many millions have lived and died, +before and after his coming, who had suffered so, and who had never heard +of him? That is the way my reason works, and I can't help it. I would +help it if I could." + +"Isn't it enough," he asked, "to know that a force is at work combating +evil,--even if you are not yet convinced that it is a prevailing force? +Can you not trust that it will be a prevailing force, if your sympathies +are with it, without demanding a revelation of the entire scheme of the +universe? Of what use is it to doubt the eternal justice?" + +"Oh, use!" she cried, "I grant you its uselessness. Doubt seems an +ingrained quality. I can't help being a fatalist." + +"And yet you have taken your life in your own hands," he reminded her, +gently. + +"Only to be convinced of its futility," she replied. + +Again, momentarily thrust back into himself, he wondered jealously once +more what the disillusionments had been of that experience from before +which she seemed, at times, ready to draw back a little the veil. + +"A sense of futility is a sense of incompleteness," he said, "and +generally precedes a sense of power." + +"Ah, you have gained that! Yet it must always have been latent in you-- +you make one feel it. But now!" she exclaimed, as though the discovery +had just dawned on her, "now you will need power, now you will have to +fight as you have never fought in your life." + +He found her enthusiasm as difficult to withstand as her stoicism. + +"Yes, I shall have to fight," he admitted. Her partisanship was sweet. + +"When you tell them what you have told me," she continued, as though +working it out in her own mind, "they will never submit to it, if they +can help it. My father will never submit to it. They will try to put +you out, as a heretic,--won't they?" + +"I have an idea that they will," he conceded, with a smile. + +"And won't they succeed? Haven't they the power?" + +"It depends,--in the first place, on whether the bishop thinks me a +heretic." + +"Have you asked him?" + +"No." + +"But can't they make you resign?" + +"They can deprive me of my salary." + +She did not press this. + +"You mustn't think me a martyr," he pleaded, in a lighter tone. + +She paid no heed to this protest, but continued to regard him with a face +lighted by enthusiasm. + +"Oh, that's splendid of you!" she cried. "You are going to speak the +truth as you see it, and let them do their worst. Of course, +fundamentally, it isn't merely because they're orthodox that they won't +like it, although they'll say so, and perhaps think so. It will be +because if you have really found the truth--they will instinctively, fear +its release. For it has a social bearing, too--hasn't it?--although you +haven't explained that part of it." + +"It has a distinct social bearing," he replied, amazed at the way her +mind flew forward and grasped the entire issue, in spite of the fact that +her honesty still refused to concede his premises. Such were the +contradictions in her that he loved. And, though she did not suspect it, +she had in her the Crusader's spirit. "I have always remembered what +you once said, that many who believed themselves Christians had an +instinctive feeling that there is a spark in Christianity which, if +allowed to fly, would start a conflagration beyond their control. And +that they had covered the spark with ashes. I, too," he added +whimsically, "was buried under the ashes." + +"And the spark," she demanded, "is not Socialism--their nightmare?" + +"The spark is Christianity itself--but I am afraid they will not be able +to distinguish it from Socialism. The central paradox in Christianity +consists in the harmonizing of the individual and socialistic spirit, and +this removes it as far from the present political doctrine of socialism +as it is possible to be. Christianity, looked at from a certain +viewpoint,--and I think the proper viewpoint,--is the most +individualistic of religions, since its basic principle is the +development of the individual into an autonomous being." + +They stood facing each other on an open stretch of lawn. The place was +deserted. Through the trees, in the near distance, the sightless front +of the Ferguson mansion blazed under the September sun. + +"Individualistic!" she repeated, as though dazed by the word applied to +the religion she had discarded. "I can't understand. Do you think I +ever can understand?" she asked him, simply. + +"It seems to me you understand more than you are willing to give yourself +credit for," he answered seriously. "You don't take into account your +attitude." + +"I see what you mean--a willingness to take the right road, if I can find +it. I am not at all sure that I want to take it. But you must tell me +more--more of what you have discovered. Will you?" + +He just hesitated. She herself appeared to acknowledge no bar to their +further intimacy--why should he? + +"I will tell you all I know," he said. + +Suddenly, as if by a transference of thought, she voiced what he had in +mind. + +"You are going to tell them the truth about themselves!" she exclaimed. +"--That they are not Christians!" + +His silence was an admission. + +"You must see," he told her, after the moment they had looked into each +other's faces, "that this is the main reason why I must stay at St. +John's, in the Church, if I conscientiously can." + +"I see. The easier course would be to resign, to have scruples. And you +believe there is a future for the Church." + +"I believe it," he assented. + +She still held his eyes. + +"Yes, it is worth doing. If you see it that way it is more worth doing +than anything else. Please don't think," she said, "that I don't +appreciate why you have told me all this, why you have given me your +reasons. I know it hasn't been easy. It's because you wish me to have +faith in you for my own sake, not for yours. And I am grateful." + +"And if that faith is justified, as you will help to justify it, that it +may be transferred to a larger sphere," he answered. + +She gave him her hand, but did not reply. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX + +MR. GOODRICH BECOMES A PARTISAN + + + +I + +In these days of his preparation, she haunted him continually. In her he +saw typified all those who possessed the: divine discontent, the yearning +unsatisfied,--the fatalists and the dreamers. And yet she seemed to have +risen through instinct to share the fire of his vision of religion +revealed to the countless ranks of strugglers as the hidden motive-power +of the world, the impetus of scientist, statesman, artist, and +philanthropist! They had stood together on the heights of the larger +view, whence the whole of the battle-line lay disclosed. + +At other and more poignant moments he saw her as waving him bravely on +while he steamed out through towering seas to safety. The impression was +that of smiling at her destiny. Had she fixed upon it? and did she +linger now only that she might inspire him in his charge? She was +capable, he knew, of taking calmly the irrevocable step, of accepting the +decree as she read it. The thought tortured, the desire to save her from +herself obsessed him; with true clairvoyance she had divined him aright +when she had said that he wished her to have faith in him for her own +sake. Could he save her in spite of herself? and how? He could not see +her, except by chance. Was she waiting until he should have crossed the +bar before she should pay some inexorable penalty of which he knew +nothing? + +Thus he speculated, suffered, was at once cast down and lifted up by the +thought of her. To him, at least, she was one of those rare and +dauntless women, the red stars of history, by whom the Dantes and +Leonardos are fired to express the inexpressible, and common clay is +fused and made mad: one of those women who, the more they reveal, become +the more inscrutable. Divinely inarticulate, he called her; arousing the +passion of the man, yet stirring the sublimer efforts of the god. + +What her feelings toward him, whether she loved him as a woman loves a +man he could not say, no man being a judge in the supreme instance. She +beheld him emancipated, perhaps, from what she might have called the +fetters of an orthodoxy for which she felt an instinctive antagonism; but +whether, though proclaiming himself free, the fact of his continuation in +the ministry would not of itself set up in her a reaction, he was unable +to predict. Her antipathy to forms, he saw, was inherent. Her interest +--her fascinated absorption, it might be called--in his struggle was +spiritual, indeed, but it also had mixed in it the individualistic zeal +of the nonconformist. She resented the trammels of society; though she +suffered from her efforts to transcend them. The course he had +determined upon appeared to her as a rebellion not only against a cut- +and-dried state of mind, but also against vested privilege. Yet she had +in her, as she confessed, the craving for what privilege brings in the +way of harmonious surroundings. He loved her for her contradictions. + +Thus he was utterly unable to see what the future held for him in the way +of continued communion with her, to evolve any satisfactory theory as to +why she remained in the city. She had told him that the gardens were an +excuse. She had come, by her own intimation, to reflect, to decide some +momentous question. Marriage? He found this too agitating to dwell +upon, summoning, as it did, conjectures of the men she might have known; +and it was perhaps natural, in view of her attitude, that he could only +think of such a decision on her part as surrender. + +That he had caught and held her attention, although by no conscious +effort of his own, was clear to him. But had he not merely arrested her? +Would she not presently disappear, leaving only in his life the scarlet +thread which she had woven into it for all time? Would he not fail to +change, permanently, the texture of hers? + +Such were his hopes and fears concerning her, and they were mingled +inextricably with other hopes and fears which had to do with the great +venture of his life. He dwelt in a realm of paradoxes, discovered that +exaltation was not incompatible with anxiety and dread. He had no +thought of wavering; he had achieved to an extent he would not have +believed possible the sense of consecration which brings with it +indifference to personal fortunes, and the revelation of the inner world, +and yet he shrank from the wounds he was about to receive--and give. Out +wardly controlled, he lived in the state of intense excitement of the +leader waiting for the time to charge. + + + +II + +The moment was at hand. September had waned, the nights were cooling, +his parishioners were returning from the East. One of these was Eleanor +Goodrich, whom he met on a corner, tanned and revived from her long +summer in Massachusetts. She had inherited the kindly shrewdness of +glance characteristic of gentlefolk, the glance that seeks to penetrate +externals in its concern for the well-being of those whom it scrutinizes. +And he was subtly aware, though she greeted him cordially, that she felt +a change in him without being able to account for it. + +"I hear you have been here all summer," she said reproachfully. "Mother +and father and all of us were much disappointed that you did not come to +us on the Cape." + +"I should have come, if it had been possible," he replied. "It seems to +have done you a world of good." + +"Oh, I!" She seemed slightly embarrassed, puzzled, and did not look at +him. "I am burned as disgracefully as Evelyn. Phil came on for a month. + +"He tells me he hasn't seen you, but that isn't surprising, for he hasn't +been to church since June--and he's a vestryman now, too." + +She was in mourning for her father-in-law, who had died in the spring. +Phil Goodrich had taken his place. Eleanor found the conversation, +somehow, drifting out of her control. It was not at all what she would +have desired to say. Her colour heightened. + +"I have not been conducting the services, but I resume them next Sunday," +said the rector. "I ought to tell you," he went on, regarding her, "in +view of the conversation we have had, that I have changed my mind +concerning a great many things we have talked about--although I have not +spoken of this as yet to any of the members of the congregation." + +She was speechless, and could only stare at him blankly. + +"I mean," he continued, with a calmness that astonished her afterwards, +"that I have changed my whole conception as to the functions and future +of the Church, that I have come to your position, that we must make up +our minds for ourselves, and not have them made up for us. And that we +must examine into the truth of all statements, and be governed +accordingly." + +Her attitude was one of mingled admiration, concern, and awe. And he saw +that she had grasped something of the complications which his course was +likely to bring about. + +"But you are not going to leave us!" she managed to exclaim. + +"Not if it is possible to remain," he said, smiling. + +"I am so glad." She was still overpowered by the disclosure. "It is +good of you to tell me. Do you mind my telling Phil?" + +"Not at all," he assured her. + +"Will you forgive me," she asked, after a slight pause during which she +had somewhat regained her composure, "if I say that I always thought, or +rather hoped you would change? that your former beliefs seemed so--unlike +you?" + +He continued to smile at her as she stepped forward to take the car. + +"I'll have to forgive you," he answered, "because you were right--" + +She was still in such a state of excitement when she arrived down town +that she went direct to her husband's law office. + +"I like this!" he exclaimed, as, unannounced, she opened the door of his +sanctuary. "You might have caught me with one of those good-looking +clients of mine." + +Oh, Phil!" she cried, "I've got such a piece of news, I couldn't resist +coming to tell you. I met Mr. Hodder--and he's changed." + +"Changed!" Phil repeated, looking up at her flushed face beside him. +Instead of a law-book, he flung down a time table in which he had been +investigating the trains to a quail shooting club in the southern part of +the state: The transition to Mr. Hodder was, therefore, somewhat abrupt. +"Why, Nell, to look at you, I thought it could be nothing else than my +somewhat belated appointment to the United States Supreme Court. How has +Hodder changed? I always thought him pretty decent." + +"Don't laugh at me," she begged, "it's really serious--and no one knows +it yet. He said I might tell you. Do you remember that talk we had at +father's, when he first came, and we likened him to a modern Savonarola?" + +"And George Bridges took the floor, and shocked mother and Lucy and +Laureston," supplied Phil. + +"I don't believe mother really was as much shocked as she appeared to +be," said Eleanor. "At any rate, the thing that had struck us--you and +me--was that Mr. Hodder looked as though he could say something helpful, +if he only would. And then I went to see him afterwards, in the parish +house--you remember?--after we had been reading modern criticism +together, and he told me that the faith which had come down from the +fathers was like an egg? It couldn't be chipped. I was awfully +disappointed--and yet I couldn't help liking him, he was so honest. +And the theological books he gave me to read--which were so mediaeval +and absurd! Well, he has come around to our point of view. He told +me so himself." + +"But what is our point of view, Nell?" her husband asked, with a smile. +"Isn't it a good deal like Professor Bridges', only we're not quite so +learned? We're just ordinary heathens, as far as I can make out. If +Hodder has our point of view, he ought to go into the law or a trust +company." + +"Oh, Phil!" she protested, "and you're on the vestry! I do believe in +Something, and so do you." + +"Something," he observed, "is hardly a concrete and complete theology." + +"Why do you make me laugh," she reproached him, "when the matter is so +serious? What I'm trying to tell you is that I'm sure Mr. Hodder has +worked it out. He's too sincere to remain in the Church and not have +something constructive and satisfying. I've always said that he seemed +to have a truth shut up inside of him which he could not communicate. +Well, now he looks as though he were about to communicate it, as though +he had discovered it. I suppose you think me silly, but you'll grant, +whatever Mr. Hodder may be, he isn't silly. And women can feel these +things. You know I'm not given to sentimentality, but I was never so +impressed by the growth in any personality as I was this morning by his. +He seems to have become himself, as I always imagined him. And, Phil, he +was so fine! He's absolutely incapable of posing, as you'll admit, and +he stood right up and acknowledged that he'd been wrong in our argument. +He hasn't had the services all summer, and when he resumes them next +Sunday I gathered that he intends to make his new position clear." + +Mr. Goodrich thrust his hands in his pockets and gave a low whistle. + +"I guess I won't go shooting Saturday, after all," he declared. +"I wouldn't miss Hodder's sermon for all the quail in Harrington County." + +"It's high time you did go to church," remarked Eleanor, contemplating, +not without pride, her husband's close-cropped, pugnacious head. + +Your judgments are pretty sound, Nell. I'll do you that credit. And +I've always owned up that Hodder would be a fighter if he ever got +started. It's written all over him. What's more, I've a notion that +some of our friends are already a little suspicious of him." + +"You mean Mr. Parr?" she asked, anxiously. + +"No, Wallis Plimpton." + +"Oh!" she exclaimed, with disdain in her voice. + +"Mr. Parr only got back yesterday, and Wallis told me that Hodder had +refused to go on a yachting trip with him. Not only foolishness, but +high treason." Phil smiled. "Plimpton's the weather-vane, the barometer +of that crowd--he feels a disturbance long before it turns up--he's as +sensitive as the stock market." + +"He is the stock market," said Eleanor. + +"It's been my opinion," Phil went on reflectively, "that they've all had +just a trace of uneasiness about Hodder all along, an idea that Nelson +Langmaid slipped up for the first time in his life when he got him to +come. Oh, the feeling's been dormant, but it existed. And they've been +just a little afraid that they couldn't handle him if the time ever came. +He's not their type. When I saw Plimpton at the Country Club the other +day he wondered, in that genial, off-hand manner of his, whether Hodder +would continue to be satisfied with St. John's. Plimpton said he might +be offered a missionary diocese. Oh we'll have a fine old row." + +"I believe," said Eleanor, "that that's the only thing that interests +you." + +"Well, it does please me," he admitted, when I think of Gordon Atterbury +and Everett Constable and a few others,--Eldon Parr,--who believe that +religion ought to be kept archaic and innocuous, served in a form that +won't bother anybody. By the way, Nell, do you remember the verse the +Professor quoted about the Pharisees, and cleansing the outside of the +cup and platter?" + +"Yes," she answered, "why?" + +"Well--Hodder didn't give you any intimation as to what he intended to do +about that sort of thing, did he?" + +"What sort of thing?" + +"About the inside of Eldon Parr's cup,--so to speak. And the inside of +Wallis Plimpton's cup, and Everett Constable's cup, and Ferguson's cup, +and Langmaid's. Did it ever strike you that, in St. John's, we have the +sublime spectacle of Eldon Parr, the Pharisee in chief, conducting the +Church of Christ, who, uttered that denunciation? That's what George +Bridges meant. There's something rather ironical in such a situation, to +say the least." + +"I see," said Eleanor, thoughtfully. + +"And what's more, it's typical," continued Phil, energetically, "the big +Baptist church on the Boulevard is run by old Sedges, as canny a rascal +as you could find in the state. The inside of has cup has never been +touched, though he was once immersed in the Mississippi, they say, and +swallowed a lot of water." + +"Oh, Phil!" + +"Hodder's been pretty intimate with Eldon Parr--that always puzzled me," +Phil went on. "And yet I'm like you, I never doubted Hodder's honesty. +I've always been curious to know what would happen when he found out the +kind of thing Eldon Parr is doing every day in his life, making people +stand and deliver in the interest of what he would call National +Prosperity. Why, that fellow, Funk, they sent to the penitentiary the +other day for breaking into the Addicks' house isn't a circumstance to +Eldon Parr. He's robbed his tens of thousands, and goes on robbing them +right along. By the way, Mr. Parr took most of Addicks' money before +Funk got his silver." + +"Phil, you have such a ridiculous way of putting things! But I suppose +it's true." + +"True! I should say it was! There was Mr. Bentley--that was mild. And +there never was a hold-up of a western express that could compare to the +Consolidated Tractions. Some of these big fellows have the same kind of +brain as the professional thieves. Well, they are professional thieves-- +what's the use of mincing matters! They never try the same game twice. +Mr. Parr's getting ready to make another big haul right now. I know, +because Plimpton said as much, although he didn't confide in me what this +particular piece of rascality is. He knows better." Phil Goodrich +looked grim. + +"But the law?" exclaimed his wife. + +"There never was a law that Nelson Langmaid couldn't drive a horse and +carriage through." + +"And Mr. Langmaid's one of the nicest men I know!" + +"What I wonder," mused Phil, "is whether this is a mere doctrinal revolt +on Hodder's part, or whether he has found out a few things. There are so +many parsons in these days who don't seem to see any inconsistency in +robbing several thousand people to build settlement houses and carved +marble altars, and who wouldn't accept a Christmas box from a highwayman. +But I'll do Hodder the justice to say he doesn't strike me as that kind. +And I have an idea that Eldon Parr and Wallis Plimpton and the rest know +he isn't, know that he'd be a Tartar if he ever get started, and that's +what makes them uneasy." + +"Then it isn't his change of religious opinions they would care about?" +said Eleanor. + +"Oh, I don't say that Eldon Parr won't try to throw him out if he +questions the faith as delivered by the Saints." + +"Phil, what a way of putting it!" + +"Any indication of independence, any approach to truth would be regarded +as dangerous," Phil continued. And of course Gordon Atterbury and others +we could mention, who think they believe in the unchipped egg theory, +will be outraged. But it's deeper than that. Eldon Parr will give +orders that Hodder's to go." + +"Give orders?" + +"Certainly. That vestry, so far as Mr. Parr is concerned, is a mere +dummy board of directors. He's made Langmaid, and Plimpton, and even +Everett Constable, who's the son of an honourable gentleman, and ought to +know better. And he can ruin them by snapping his fingers. He can even +make the financial world too hot for Ferguson. I'll say this for Gordon +Atterbury, that Mr. Parr can't control him, but he's got a majority +without him, and Gordon won't vote for a heretic. Who are left, except +father-in-law Waring and myself?" + +"He can't control either of you!" said Eleanor, proudly. + +"When it comes to that, Nell--we'll move into Canada and buy a farm." + +"But can he hurt you, Phil--either of you?" she asked, after a moment. + +"I'd like to see him try it," Phil Goodrich declared + +And his wife thought, as she looked at him, that she would like to see +Mr. Parr try it, too. + + + +III + +Phil Goodrich had once said that Mr. Plimpton's translation of the +national motto E pluribus unum, was "get together," and it was true that +not the least of Mr. Plimpton's many gifts was that of peace making. +Such was his genius that he scented trouble before it became manifest to +the world, and he stoutly declared that no difference of opinion ever +existed between reasonable men that might not be patched up before the +breach became too wide--provided that a third reasonable man contributed +his services. The qualifying word "reasonable" is to be noted. When +Mr. Bedloe Hubbell had undertaken, in the name of Reform, to make a +witch's cauldron of the city's politics, which Mr. Beatty had hitherto +conducted so smoothly from the back room of his saloon, Mr. Plimpton had +unselfishly offered his services. Bedloe Hubbell, although he had been a +playmate of Mr. Plimpton's wife's, had not proved "reasonable," and had +rejected with a scorn only to be deemed fanatical the suggestion that Mr. +Hubbell's interests and Mr. Beatty's interests need not clash, since Mr. +Hubbell might go to Congress! And Mr. Plimpton was the more hurt since +the happy suggestion was his own, and he had had no little difficulty in +getting Mr. Beatty to agree to it. + +Yet Mr. Plimpton's career in the ennobling role of peacemaker had, +on the whole, been crowned with such success as to warrant his belief +in the principle. Mr. Parr, for instance,--in whose service, as in that +of any other friend, Mr. Plimpton was always ready to act--had had +misunderstandings with eminent financiers, and sometimes with United +States Senators. Mr. Plimpton had made many trips to the Capitol at +Washington, sometimes in company with Mr. Langmaid, sometimes not, and on +one memorable occasion had come away smiling from an interview with the +occupant of the White House himself. + +Lest Mr. Plimpton's powers of premonition seem supernatural, it may be +well to reveal the comparative simplicity of his methods. Genius, +analyzed, is often disappointing, Mr. Plimpton's was selective and +synthetic. To illustrate in a particular case, he had met Mr. Parr in +New York and had learned that the Reverend Mr. Hodder had not only +declined to accompany the banker on a yachting trip, but had elected to +remain in the city all summer, in his rooms in the parish house, while +conducting no services. Mr. Parr had thought this peculiar. On his +return home Mr. Plimpton had one day dropped in to see a Mr. Gaines, the +real estate agent for some of his property. And Mr. Plimpton being hale- +fellow-well-met, Mr. Gaines had warned him jestingly that he would better +not let his parson know that he owned a half interest in a certain hotel +in Dalton Street, which was leased at a profitable rate. + +If Mr. Plimpton felt any uneasiness, he did not betray it. And he +managed to elicit from the agent, in an entirely casual and jovial +manner, the fact that Mr. Hodder, a month or so before, had settled the +rent of a woman for a Dalton Street flat, and had been curious to +discover the name of the owner. Mr. Gaines, whose business it was to +recognize everybody, was sure of Mr. Hodder, although he had not worn +clerical clothes. + +Mr. Plimpton became very thoughtful when he had left the office. He +visited Nelson Langmaid in the Parr Building. And the result of the +conference was to cause Mr. Langmaid to recall, with a twinge of +uneasiness, a certain autumn morning in a room beside Bremerton Lake +when he had been faintly yet distinctly conscious of the, admonitory +whisperings of that sixth sense which had saved him on other occasions. + +"Dash it!" he said to himself, after Mr. Plimpton had departed, and +he stood in the window and gazed across at the flag on the roof of +'Ferguson's.' "It would serve me right for meddling in this parson +business. Why did I take him away from Jerry Whitely, anyhow?" + +It added to Nelson Langmaid's discomfort that he had a genuine affection, +even an admiration for the parson in question. He might have known by +looking at the man that he would wake up some day,--such was the burden +of his lament. And there came to him, ironically out of the past, the +very words of Mr. Parr's speech to the vestry after Dr. Gilman's death, +that succinct list of qualifications for a new rector which he himself, +Nelson Langmaid, had humorously and even more succinctly epitomized. +Their "responsibility to the parish, to the city, and to God" had been to +find a rector "neither too old nor too young, who would preach the faith +as we received it, who was not sensational, and who did not mistake +Socialism for Christianity." At the "Socialism" a certain sickly +feeling possessed the lawyer, and he wiped beads of perspiration from his +dome-like forehead. + +He didn't pretend to be versed in theology--so he had declared--and at +the memory of these words of his the epithet "ass," self applied, passed +his lips. "You want a parson who will stick to his last, not too high or +too low or too broad or too narrow, who has intellect without too much +initiative . . . and will not get the church uncomfortably full of +strangers and run you out of your pews." Thus he had capped the +financier. Well, if they had caught a tartar, it served him, Nelson +Langmaid, right. He recalled his talk with Gerald Whitely, and how his +brother-in-law had lost his temper when they had got on the subject of +personality . . . . + +Perhaps Wallis Plimpton could do something. Langmaid's hopes of this +were not high. It may have been that he had suspicions of what Mr. +Plimpton would have called Hodder's "reasonableness." One thing was +clear--that Mr. Plimpton was frightened. In the sanctuaries, the private +confessionals of high finance (and Nelson Langmaid's office may be called +so), the more primitive emotions are sometimes exhibited. + +"I don't see what business it is of a clergyman, or of any one else, +whether I own property in Dalton Street," Mr. Plimpton had said, as he +sat on the edge of the lawyer's polished mahogany desk. "What does he +expect us to do,--allow our real estate to remain unproductive merely for +sentimental reasons? That's like a parson, most of 'em haven't got any +more common sense than that. What right has he got to go nosing around +Dalton Street? Why doesn't he stick to his church?" + +"I thought you fellows were to build him a settlement house there," +Langmaid observed. + +"On the condition that he wouldn't turn socialist." + +"You'd better have stipulated it in the bond," said the lawyer, who could +not refrain, even at this solemn moment, from the temptation of playing +upon Mr. Plimpton's apprehensions. "I'm afraid he'll make it his +business, Wallis, to find out whether you own anything in Dalton Street. +I'll bet he's got a list of Dalton Street property in his pocket right +now." + +Mr. Plimpton groaned. + +"Thank God I don't own any of it!" said Langmaid. + +"What the deuce does he intend to do?" the other demanded. + +"Read it out in church," Langmaid suggested. "It wouldn't sound pretty, +Wallis, to be advertised in the post on Monday morning as owning that +kind of a hotel." + +"Oh, he's a gentleman," said Mr. Plimpton, "he wouldn't do anything as +low as that!" + +"But if he's become a socialist?" objected Langmaid. + +"He wouldn't do it," his friend reiterated, none too confidently. +"I shouldn't be surprised if he made me resign from the vestry and forced +me to sell my interest. It nets me five thousand a year." + +"What is the place?" Langmaid asked sympathetically, "Harrod's?" + +Mr. Plimpton nodded. + +"Not that I am a patron," the lawyer explained somewhat hastily. "But +I've seen the building, going home." + +"It looks to me as if it would burn down some day, Wallis." + +"I wish it would," said Mr. Plimpton. + +"If it's any comfort to you--to us," Langmaid went on, after a moment, +"Eldon Parr owns the whole block above Thirteenth, on the south side-- +bought it three years ago. He thinks the business section will grow that +way." + +"I know," said Mr. Plimpton, and they looked at each other. + +The name predominant in both minds had been mentioned. + +"I wonder if Hodder really knows what he's up against." Mr. Plimpton +sometimes took refuge in slang. + +"Well, after all, we're not sure yet that he's "up against anything," +replied Langmaid, who thought the time had come for comfort. "It may all +be a false alarm. There's no reason, after all, why a Christian +clergyman shouldn't rescue women in Dalton Street, and remain in the city +to study the conditions of the neighbourhood where his settlement house +is to be. And just, because you or I would not be able to resist an +invitation to go yachting with Eldon Parr, a man might be imagined who +had that amount of moral courage." + +"That's just it. Hodder seems to me, now I come to think of it, just the +kind of John Brown type who wouldn't hesitate to get into a row with +Eldon Parr if he thought it was right, and pull down any amount of +disagreeable stuff about our ears." + +"You're mixing your heroes, Wallis," said Langmaid. + +"I can't help it. You'd catch it, too, Nelson. What in the name of +sense possessed you to get such a man?" + +This being a question the lawyer was unable to answer, the conversation +came to another pause. And it was then that Mr. Plimpton's natural +optimism reasserted itself. + +"It isn't done,--the thing we're afraid of, that's all," he proclaimed, +after a turn or two about the room. "Hodder's a gentleman, as I said, +and if he feels as we suspect he does he'll resign like a gentleman and a +Christian. I'll have a talk with him--oh, you can trust me! I've got an +idea. Gordon Atterbury told me the other day there is a vacancy in a +missionary diocese out west, and that Hodder's name had been mentioned, +among others, to the bishops for the place. He'd make a rattling +missionary bishop, you know, holding services in saloons and knocking +men's heads together for profanity, and he boxes like a professional. +Now, a word from Eldon Parr might turn the trick. Every parson wants to +be a bishop." + +Langmaid shook his head. + +"You're getting out of your depths, my friend. The Church isn't Wall +Street. And missionary bishops aren't chosen to make convenient +vacancies." + +"I don't mean anything crude," Mr. Plimpton protested. "But a word from +the chief layman of a diocese like this, a man who never misses a General +Convention, and does everything handsomely, might count,--particularly if +they're already thinking of Hodder. The bishops would never suspect we +wanted to get rid of him." + +"Well," said Langmaid, "I advise you to go easy, all along the line." + +"Oh, I'll go easy enough," Mr. Plimpton assented, smiling. "Do you +remember how I pulled off old Senator Matthews when everybody swore he +was dead set on voting for an investigation in the matter of those coal +lands Mr. Parr got hold of in his state?" + +"Matthews isn't Hodder, by a long shat," said Langmaid. "If you ask me +my opinion, I'll tell you frankly that if Hodder has made up his mind to +stay in St. John's a ton of dynamite and all the Eldon Parrs in the +nation can't get him out," + +"Can't the vestry make him resign?" asked Mr. Plimpton, uncomfortably. + +"You'd better, go home and study your canons, my friend. Nothing short +of conviction for heresy can do it, if he doesn't want to go." + +"You wouldn't exactly call him a heretic," Mr. Plimpton said ruefully. + +"Would you know a heretic if you saw one?" demanded Langmaid. + +"No, but my wife would, and Gordon Atterbury and Constable would, and +Eldon Parr. But don't let's get nervous." + +"Well, that's sensible at any rate," said Langmaid . . . . + +So Mr. Plimpton had gone off optimistic, and felt even more so the next +morning after he had had his breakfast in the pleasant dining room of the +Gore Mansion, of which he was now master. As he looked out through the +open window at the sunshine in the foliage of Waverley Place, the +prospect of his being removed from that position of dignity and influence +on the vestry of St. John's, which he had achieved, with others, after so +much walking around the walls, seemed remote. And he reflected with +satisfaction upon the fact that his wife, who was his prime minister, +would be home from the East that day. Two heads were better than one, +especially if one of the two were Charlotte Gore's. And Mr. Plimpton had +often reflected upon the loss to the world, and the gain to himself, that +she was a woman. + +It would not be gallant to suggest that his swans were geese. + + + +IV + +The successful navigation of lower Tower Street, at noonday, required +presence of mind on the part of the pedestrian. There were currents and +counter-currents, eddies and backwaters, and at the corner of Vine a +veritable maelstrom through which two lines of electric cars pushed their +way, east and weft, north and south, with incessant clanging of bells; +followed by automobiles with resounding horns, trucks and delivery wagons +with wheels reverberating on the granite. A giant Irish policeman, who +seemed in continual danger of a violent death, and wholly indifferent to +it, stood between the car tracks and halted the rush from time to time, +driving the people like sheep from one side to the other. Through the +doors of Ferguson's poured two conflicting streams of humanity, and +wistful groups of young women, on the way from hasty lunches, blocked the +pavements and stared at the finery behind the plate-glass windows. + +The rector, slowly making his way westward, permitted himself to be +thrust hither and thither, halted and shoved on again as he studied the +faces of the throng. And presently he found himself pocketed before one +of the exhibits of feminine interest, momentarily helpless, listening to +the admiring and envious chorus of a bevy of diminutive shop-girls on the +merits of a Paris gown. It was at this moment that he perceived, pushing +towards him with an air of rescue, the figure of his vestryman, Mr. +Wallis Plimpton. + +"Well, well, well!" he cried, as he seized Hodder by the arm and pulled +him towards the curb. "What are you doing herein the marts of trade? +Come right along with me to the Eyrie, and we'll have something, to eat." + +The Eyrie was a famous lunch club, of limited membership, at the top of +the Parr Building, where financial affairs of the first importance were +discussed and settled. + +Hodder explained that he had lunched at half-past twelve. + +"Well, step into my office a minute. It does me good, to see you again, +upon my word, and I can't let you get by without a little pow-wow." + +Mr. Plimpton's trust company, in Vine Street, resembled a Greek temple. +Massive but graceful granite columns adorned its front, while within it +was partitioned off with polished marble and ornamental grills. In the +rear, guarded by the desks and flanked by the compartments of various +subordinates, was the president's private sanctum, and into this holy of +holies Mr. Plimpton led the way with the simple, unassuming genial air of +the high priest of modern finance who understands men. The room was +eloquent almost to affectation of the system and order of great business, +inasmuch as it betrayed not the least sign of a workshop. On the dark +oak desk were two leather-bound books and a polished telephone. The +walls were panelled, there was a stone fireplace with andirons set, a +deep carpet spread over the tessellated floor, and three leather-padded +armchairs, one of which Mr. Plimpton hospitably drew forward for the +rector. He then produced a box of cigars. + +"You don't smoke, Mr. Hodder. I always forget. That's the way you +manage to keep yourself in such good shape." He drew out a gold match +box and seated himself with an air of gusto opposite his guest. "And you +haven't had a vacation, they tell me." + +"On the contrary," said the rector, "McCrae has taken the services all +summer." + +"But you've been in the city!" Mr. Plimpton exclaimed, puffing at his +cigar. + +"Yes, I've been in the city." + +"Well, well, I'll bet you haven't been idle. Just between us, as +friends, Mr. Hodder, I've often wondered if you didn't work too hard-- +there's such a thing as being too conscientious, you know. And I've +an idea that the rest of the vestry think so. Mr. Parr, for instance. +We know when we've got a good thing, and we don't want to wear you out. +Oh, we can appreciate your point of view, and admire it. But a little +relaxation--eh? It's too bad that you couldn't have seen your way to +take that cruise--Mr. Parr was all cut up about it. I guess you're the +only man among all of us fairly close to him, who really knows him well," +said Mr. Plimpton, admiringly. "He thinks a great deal of you, Mr. +Hodder. By the way, have you seen him since he got back?" + +No," Hodder answered." + + +"The trip did him good. I thought he was a little seedy in the spring +--didn't you? Wonderful man! And when I think how he's slandered and +abused it makes me hot. And he never says anything, never complains, +lives up there all alone, and takes his medicine. That's real +patriotism, according to my view. He could retire to-morrow-- +but he keeps on--why? Because he feels the weight of a tremendous +responsibility on his shoulders, because he knows if it weren't for him +and men like him upon whom the prosperity of this nation depends, we'd +have famine and anarchy on our hands in no time. And look what he's done +for the city, without ostentation, mind you! He never blows his own +horn-never makes a speech. And for the Church! But I needn't tell you. +When this settlement house and chapel are finished, they'll be coming out +here from New York to get points. By the way, I meant to have written +you. Have our revised plans come yet? We ought to break ground in +November, oughtn't we?" + +"I intend to lay my views on that matter before the vestry at the next +meeting, the rector said. + +"Well," declared Mr. Plimpton, after a scarcely perceptible pause, "I've +no doubt they'll be worth listening to. If I were to make a guess," he +continued, with a contemplative smile, blowing a thin stream of smoke +towards the distant ceiling, "I should bet that you have spent your +summer looking over the ground. I don't say that you have missed your +vocation, Mr. Hodder, but I don't mind telling you that for a clergyman, +for a man absorbed in spiritual matters, a man who can preach the sermons +you preach, you've got more common-sense and business thoroughness than +any one I have ever run across in your profession." + +"Looking over the ground?" Hodder repeated, ignoring the compliment. + +"Sure, said Mr. Plimpton, smiling more benignly than ever. "You mustn't +be modest about it. Dalton Street. And when that settlement house is +built, I'll guarantee it will be run on a business basis. No nonsense." + +"What do you mean by nonsense?" Hodder asked. He did not make the +question abrupt, and there was even the hint of a smile in his eyes, +which Mr. Plimpton found the more disquieting. + +"Why, that's only a form of speech. I mean you'll be practical, +efficient, that you'll get hold of the people of that neighbourhood and +make 'em see that the world isn't such a bad place after all, make 'em +realize that we in St. John's want to help 'em out. That you won't make +them more foolishly discontented than they are, and go preaching +socialism to them." + +"I have no intention of preaching socialism," said Hodder. But he laid a +slight emphasis on the word which sent a cold shiver down Mr. Plimpton's +spine, and made him wonder whether there might not be something worse +than socialism. + +"I knew you wouldn't," he declared, with all the heartiness he could +throw into his voice. "I repeat, you're a practical, sensible man. I'll +yield to none in my belief in the Church as a moral, uplifting, necessary +spiritual force in our civilization, in my recognition of her high +ideals, but we business men, Mr. Hodder,--as--I am sure you must agree,-- +have got to live, I am sorry to say, on a lower plane. We've got to deal +with the world as we find it, and do our little best to help things +along. We can't take the Gospel literally, or we should all be ruined +in a day, and swamp everybody else. You understand me? + +"I understand you," said the rector. + +Mr. Plimpton's cigar had gone out. In spite of himself, he had slipped +from the easy-going, casual tone into one that was becoming persuasive, +apologetic, strenuous. Although the day was not particularly warm, he +began to perspire a little; and he repeated the words over to himself, +"I understand you." What the deuce did the rector know? He had somehow +the air of knowing everything--more than Mr. Plimpton did. And Mr. +Plimpton was beginning to have the unusual and most disagreeable feeling +of having been weighed in the balance and found wanting. He glanced at +his guest, who sat quite still, the head bent a trifle, the disturbing +gray eyes fixed contemplatively an him--accusingly. And yet the +accusation did not seem personal with the clergyman, whose eyes were +nearly the medium, the channels of a greater, an impersonal Ice. It was +true that the man had changed. He was wholly baffling to Mr. Plimpton, +whose sense of alarm increased momentarily into an almost panicky feeling +as he remembered what Langmaid had said. Was this inscrutable rector of +St. John's gazing, knowingly, at the half owner of Harrods Hotel in +Dalton Street, who couldn't take the Gospel literally? There was +evidently no way to find out at once, and suspense would be unbearable, +in vain he told himself that these thoughts were nonsense, the discomfort +persisted, and he had visions of that career in which he had become +one of the first citizens and the respected husband of Charlotte Gore +clashing down about his ears. Why? Because a clergyman should choose +to be quixotic, fanatical? He did not took quixotic, fanatical, Mr. +Plimpton had to admit,--but a good deal saner than he, Mr. Plimpton, must +have appeared at that moment. His throat was dry, and he didn't dare to +make the attempt to relight his cigar. + +"There's nothing like getting together--keeping in touch with people, +Mr. Hodder," he managed to say. "I've been out of town a good deal this +summer--putting on a little flesh, I'm sorry to admit. But I've been +meaning to drop into the parish house and talk over those revised plans +with you. I will drop in--in a day or two. I'm interested in the work, +intensely interested, and so is Mrs. Plimpton. She'll help you. I'm +sorry you can't lunch with me." + +He had the air, now, of the man who finds himself disagreeably and +unexpectedly closeted. with a lunatic; and his language, although he +sought to control it, became eves a trifle less coherent. + +"You must make allowances for us business men, Mr. Hodder. I mean, of +course, we're sometimes a little lax in our duties--in the summer, that +is. Don't shoot the pianist, he's doing his--ahem! You know the story. + +"By the way, I hear great things of you; I'm told it's on the cards that +you're to be made a bishop." + +"Oh," answered the rector, "there are better men mentioned than I!" + +"I want you to know this," said his vestryman, as he seized Hodder's +hand, "much as we value you here, bitterly as we should hate to lose you, +none of us, I am sure, would stand in the way of such a deserved +advancement." + +"Thank you, Mr. Plimpton," said the rector. + +Mr. Plimpton watched the vigorous form striding through the great chamber +until it disappeared. Then he seized his hat and made his way as rapidly +as possible through the crowds to the Parr Building. At the entrance of +the open-air roof garden of the Eyrie he ran into Nelson Langmaid. + +"You're the very man I'm after," said Mr. Plimpton, breathlessly. +"I stopped in your office, and they said you'd gone up." + +"What's the matter, Wallis?" inquired the lawyer, tranquilly. "You look +as if you'd lost a couple of bonds." + +I've just seen Hodder, and he is going to do it." + +"Do what?" + +"Sit down here, at this table in the corner, and I'll tell you." + +For a practical man, it must be admitted that Mr. Plimpton had very +little of the concrete to relate. And it appeared on cross-examination +by Mr. Langmaid, who ate his cold meat and salad with an exasperating and +undiminished appetite--that the only definite thing the rector had said +was that he didn't intend to preach socialism. This was reassuring. + +"Reassuring!" exclaimed Mr. Plimpton, whose customary noonday hunger was +lacking, "I wish you could have heard him say it!" + +"The wicked," remarked the lawyer, "flee when no man pursueth. Don't +shoot the pianist!" Langmaid set down his beer, and threw back his head +and laughed. "If I were the Reverend Mr. Hodder, after such an +exhibition as you gave, I should immediately have suspected the pianist +of something, and I should have gone off by myself and racked my brains +and tried to discover what it was. He's a clever man, and if he hasn't +got a list of Dalton Street property now he'll have one by to-morrow, +and the story of some of your transactions with Tom Beatty and the City +Council." + +"I believe you'd joke in the electric chair," said Mr. a Plimpton, +resentfully. "I'll tell you this,--and my experience backs me up,-- +if you can't get next to a man by a little plain talk, he isn't safe. +I haven't got the market sense for nothing, and I'll give you this tip, +Nelson,--it's time to stand from under. Didn't I warn you fellows that +Bedloe Hubbell meant business long before he started in? and this parson +can give Hubbell cards and spades. Hodder can't see this thing as it is. +He's been thinking, this summer. And a man of that kind is downright +dangerous when he begins to think. He's found out things, and he's put +two and two together, and he's the uncompromising type. He has a notion +that the Gospel can be taken literally, and I could feel all the time I +was talking to him he thought I was a crook." + +"Perhaps he was right," observed the lawyer. + +"That comes well from you," Mr. Plimpton retorted. + +Oh, I'm a crook, too," said Langmaid. "I discovered it some time ago. +The difference between you and me, Wallis, is that I am willing to +acknowledge it, and you're not. The whole business world, as we know it, +is crooked, and if we don't cut other people's throats, they'll cut +ours." + +"And if we let go, what would happen to the country?" his companion +demanded. + +Langmaid began to shake with silent laughter. + +"Your solicitude about the country, Wallis, is touching. I was brought +up to believe that patriotism had an element of sacrifice in it, but I +can't see ours. And I can't imagine myself, somehow, as a Hercules +bearing the burden of our Constitution. From Mr. Hodder's point of view, +perhaps,--and I'm not sure it isn't the right one, the pianist is doing +his damnedest, to the tune of--Dalton Street. We might as well look this +thing in the face, my friend. You and I really don't believe in another +world, or we shouldn't be taking so much trouble to make this one as we'd +like to have it." + +"I never expected to hear you talk this way," said Mr. Plimpton. + +"Well, it's somewhat of a surprise to me," the lawyer admitted. + +"And I don't think you put it fairly," his friend contended. "I never +can tell when you are serious, but this is damned serious. In business +we have to deal with crooks, who hold us up right and left, and if we +stood back you know as well as I do that everything would go to pot. +And if we let the reformers have their way the country would be bedlam. +We'd have anarchy and bloodshed, revolution, and the people would be +calling us, the strong men, back in no time. You can't change human +nature. And we have a sense of responsibility--we support law and order +and the Church, and found institutions, and give millions away in +charity." + +The big lawyer listened to this somewhat fervent defence of his order +with an amused smile, nodding his head slightly from side to side. + +"If you don't believe in it," demanded Mr. Plimpton, why the deuce don't +you drop it?" + +"It's because of my loyalty," said Langmaid. "I wouldn't desert my pals. +I couldn't bear, Wallis, to see you go to the guillotine without me." + +Mr. Plimpton became unpleasantly silent. + +"Well, you may think it's a joke," he resumed, after a moment, "but there +will be a guillotine if we don't look out. That confounded parson is +getting ready to spring something, and I'm going to give Mr. Parr a tip. +He'll know how to handle him. He doesn't talk much, but I've got an +idea, from one or two things he let drop, that he's a little suspicious +of a change in Hodder. But he ought to be waived." + +"You're in no condition to talk to Mr. Parr, or to anyone else, except +your wife, Walks," Langmaid said. "You'd better go home, and let me see +Mr. Parr. I'm responsible for Mr. Hodder, anyway." + +"All right," Mr. Plimpton agreed, as though he had gained some shred of +comfort from this thought. "I guess you're in worse than any of us." + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Antipathy to forms +Clothes of one man are binding on another +Genius, analyzed, is often disappointing +Hell's here--isn't it? +Olmah which Isaiah uses does not mean virgin +Pleasure? Yes. It makes me feel as if I were of some use +Scandalously forced through the council of Nicaea + + +7 + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + +Volume 6. + + +XX. THE ARRAIGNMENT +XXI. ALISON GOES TO CHURCH +XXII. WHICH SAY TO THE SEERS, SEE NOT! + + + +CHAPTER XX + +THE ARRAIGNMENT + + +I + +Looking backward, Hodder perceived that he had really come to the +momentous decision of remaining at St. John's in the twilight of an +evening when, on returning home from seeing Kate Marcy at Mr. Bentley's +he had entered the darkening church. It was then that his mission had +appeared to him as a vision. Every day, afterward, his sense and +knowledge of this mission had grown stronger. + +To his mind, not the least of the trials it was to impose upon him, and +one which would have to be dealt with shortly, was a necessary talk with +his assistant, McCrae. If their relationship had from the beginning been +unusual and unsatisfactory, adjectives would seem to defy what it had +become during the summer. What did McCrae think of him? For Hodder had, +it will be recalled, bidden his assistant good-by--and then had remained. +At another brief interview, during which McCrae had betrayed no surprise, +uttered no censure or comment, Hodder had announced his determination to +remain in the city, and to take no part in the services. An announcement +sufficiently astounding. During the months that followed, they had met, +at rare intervals, exchanged casual greetings, and passed on. And yet +Hodder had the feeling, more firmly planted than ever, that McCrae was +awaiting, with an interest which might be called suspense, the +culmination of the process going on within him. + +Well, now that he had worked it out, now that he had reached his +decision, it was incumbent upon him to tell his assistant what that +decision was. Hodder shrank from it as from an ordeal. His affection +for the man, his admiration for McCrae's faithful, untiring, and +unrecognized services had deepened. He had a theory that McCrae +really liked him--would even sympathize with his solution; yet he +procrastinated. He was afraid to put his theory to the test. It was not +that Hodder feared that his own solution was not the right one, but that +McCrae might not find it so: he was intensely concerned that it should +also be McCrae's solution--the answer, if one liked, to McCrae's mute and +eternal questionings. He wished to have it a fruition for McCrae as well +as for himself; since theoretically, at least, he had pierced the hard +crust of his assistant's exterior, and conceived him beneath to be all +suppressed fire. In short, Hodder wished to go into battle side by side +with McCrae. Therein lay his anxiety. + +Another consideration troubled him--McCrae's family, dependent on a +rather meagre salary. His assistant, in sustaining him in the struggle +he meant to enter, would be making even a greater sacrifice than himself. +For Hodder had no illusions, and knew that the odds against him were +incalculable. Whatever, if defeated, his own future might be, McCrae's +was still more problematical and tragic. + +The situation, when it came, was even more difficult than Hodder +had imagined it, since McCrae was not a man to oil the wheels of +conversation. In silence he followed the rector up the stairs and into +his study, in silence he took the seat at the opposite side of the table. +And Hodder, as he hesitated over his opening, contemplated in no little +perplexity and travail the gaunt and non-committal face before him: + +"McCrae," he began at length, "you must have thought my conduct this +summer most peculiar. I wish to thank you, first of all, for the +consideration you have shown me, and to tell you how deeply I appreciate +your taking the entire burden of the work of the parish." + +McCrae shook his head vigorously, but did not speak. + +"I owe it to you to give you some clew to what happened to me," the +rector continued, "although I have an idea that you do not need much +enlightenment on this matter. I have a feeling that you have somehow +been aware of my discouragement during the past year or so, and of the +causes of it. You yourself hold ideals concerning the Church which you +have not confided to me. Of this I am sure. I came here to St. John's +full of hope and confidence, gradually to lose both, gradually to realise +that there was something wrong with me, that in spite of all my efforts +I was unable to make any headway in the right direction. I became +perplexed, dissatisfied--the results were so meagre, so out of proportion +to the labour. And the very fact that those who may be called our chief +parishioners had no complaint merely added to my uneasiness. That kind +of success didn't satisfy me, and I venture to assume it didn't satisfy +you." + +Still McCrae made no sign. + +"Finally I came to what may be termed a double conclusion. In the first +place, I began to see more and more clearly that our modern civilization +is at fault, to perceive how completely it is conducted on the +materialistic theory of the survival of the fittest rather than that of +the brotherhood of man, and that those who mainly support this church +are, consciously or not, using it as a bulwark for the privilege they +have gained at the expense of their fellow-citizens. And my conclusion +was that Christianity must contain some vital germ which I had somehow +missed, and which I must find if I could, and preach and release it. +That it was the release of this germ these people feared unconsciously. +I say to you, at the risk of the accusation of conceit, that I believed +myself to have a power in the pulpit if I could only discover the truth." + +Hodder thought he detected, as he spoke these words, a certain relaxation +of the tension. + +"For a while, as the result of discouragement, of cowardice, I may say, +of the tearing-down process of the theological structure--built of debris +from many ruins on which my conception of Christianity rested, I lost all +faith. For many weeks I did not enter the church, as you yourself must +know. Then, when I had given up all hope, through certain incidents and +certain persona, a process of reconstruction began. In short, through no +virtue which I can claim as my own, I believe I have arrived at the +threshold of an understanding of Christianity as our Lord taught it and +lived it. And I intend to take the pulpit and begin to preach it. + +"I am deeply concerned in regard to yourself as to what effect my course +may have on you. And I am not you to listen to me with a view that you +should see your way clear to support me McCrae, but rather that you +should be fully apprised of my new belief and intentions. I owe this to +you, for your loyal support in the pest. I shall go over with you, +later, if you care to listen, my whole position. It may be called the +extreme Protestant position, and I use protestant, for want of a better +word, to express what I believe is Paul's true as distinguished from the +false of his two inconsistent theologies. It was this doctrine of Paul's +of redemption by faith, of reacting grace by an inevitable spiritual law +--of rebirth, if you will--that Luther and the Protestant reformers +revived and recognized, rightly, as the vital element of Christ's +teachings, although they did not succeed in separating it wholly from the +dross which clung to it. It is the leaven which has changed governments, +and which in the end, I am firmly convinced, will make true democracy +inevitable. And those who oppose democracy inherently dread its +workings. + +"I do not know your views, but it is only fair to add at this time that I +no longer believe in the external and imposed authority of the Church in +the sense in which I formerly accepted it, nor in the virgin birth, nor +in certain other dogmas in which I once acquiesced. Other clergymen of +our communion have proclaimed, in speech and writing, their disbelief in +these things. I have satisfied my conscience as they have, and I mean to +make no secret of my change. I am convinced that not one man or woman +in ten thousand to-day who has rejected Christianity ever knew what +Christianity is. The science and archaic philosophy in which +Christianity has been swaddled and hampered is discredited, and the +conclusion is drawn that Christianity itself must be discredited." + +"Ye're going to preach all this?" McCrae demanded, almost fiercely. + +"Yes," Hodder replied, still uncertain as to his assistant's attitude, +"and more. I have fully reflected, and I am willing to accept all the +consequences. I understand perfectly, McCrae, that the promulgation +alone of the liberal orthodoxy of which I have spoken will bring me into +conflict with the majority of the vestry and the congregation, and that +the bishop will be appealed to. They will say, in effect, that I have +cheated them, that they hired one man and that another has turned up, +whom they never would have hired. But that won't be the whole story. +If it were merely a question of doctrine, I should resign. It's deeper +than that, more sinister." Hodder doubled up his hand, and laid it on +the table. "It's a matter," he said, looking into McCrae's eyes, "of +freeing this church from those who now hold it in chains. And the two +questions, I see clearly now, the doctrinal and the economic, are so +interwoven as to be inseparable. My former, ancient presentation of +Christianity left men and women cold. It did not draw them into this +church and send them out again fired with the determination to bring +religion into everyday life, resolved to do their part in the removal of +the injustices and cruelties with which we are surrounded, to bring +Christianity into government, where it belongs. Don't misunderstand me +I'm not going to preach politics, but religion." + +"I don't misunderstand ye," answered McCrae. He leaned a little forward, +staring at the rector from behind his steel spectacles with a glance +which had become piercing. + +"And I am going to discourage a charity which is a mockery of +Christianity," Hodder went on, "the spectacle of which turns thousands +of men and women in sickening revolt against the Church of Christ to-day. +I have discovered, at last, how some of these persons have made their +money, and are making it. And I am going to let them know, since they +have repudiated God in their own souls, since they have denied the +Christian principle of individual responsibility, that I, as the vicar of +God, will not be a party to the transaction of using the Church as a +means of doling out ill-gotten gains to the poor." + +"Mr. Parr!" McCrae exclaimed. + +"Yes," said the rector, slowly, and with a touch of sadness, "since you +have mentioned him, Mr. Parr. But I need not say that this must go no +farther. I am in possession of definite facts in regard to Mr. Parr +which I shall present to him when he returns." + +"Ye'll tell him to his face?" + +"It is the only way." + +McCrae had risen. A remarkable transformation had come over the man,-- +he was reminiscent, at that moment, of some Covenanter ancestor going +into battle. And his voice shook with excitement. + +"Ye may count on me, Mr. Hodder," he cried. "These many years I've +waited, these many years I've seen what ye see now, but I was not the +man. Aye, I've watched ye, since the day ye first set foot in this +church. I knew what was going on inside of ye, because it was just +that I felt myself. I hoped--I prayed ye might come to it." + +The sight of this taciturn Scotchman, moved in this way, had an +extraordinary effect on Hodder himself, and his own emotion was so +inexpressibly stirred that he kept silence a moment to control it. +This proof of the truth of his theory in regard to McCrae he found +overwhelming. + +"But you said nothing, McCrae," he began presently. "I felt all along +that you knew what was wrong--if you had only spoken." + +"I could not," said McCrae. "I give ye my word I tried, but I just could +not. Many's the time I wanted to--but I said to myself, when I looked at +you, 'wait, it will come, much better than ye can say it.' And ye have +made me see more than I saw, Mr. Hodder,--already ye have. Ye've got the +whole thing in ye're eye, and I only had a part of it. It's because +ye're the bigger man of the two." + +"You thought I'd come to it?" demanded Hodder, as though the full force +of this insight had just struck him. + +"Well," said McCrae, "I hoped. It seemed, to look at ye, ye'r true +nature--what was by rights inside of ye. That's the best explaining I +can do. And I call to mind that time ye spoke about not making the men +in the classes Christians--that was what started me to thinking." + +"And you asked me," returned the rector, "how welcome some of them would +be in Mr. Parr's Pew." + +"Ah, it worried me," declared the assistant, with characteristic +frankness, "to see how deep ye were getting in with him." + +Hodder did not reply to this. He had himself risen, and stood looking at +McCrae, filled with a new thought. + +"There is one thing I should like to say to you--which is very difficult, +McCrae, but I have no doubt you see the matter as clearly as I do. In +making this fight, I have no one but myself to consider. I am a single +man--" + +"Yell not need to go on," answered McCrae, with an odd mixture of +sternness and gentleness in his voice. "I'll stand and fall with ye, Mr. +Hodder. Before I ever thought of the Church I learned a trade, as a boy +in Scotland. I'm not a bad carpenter. And if worse comes to worse, I've +an idea I can make as much with my hands as I make in the ministry." + +The smile they exchanged across the table sealed the compact between +them. + + + +II + +The electric car which carried him to his appointment with the financier +shot westward like a meteor through the night. And now that the hour was +actually at hand, it seemed to Hodder that he was absurdly unprepared to +meet it. New and formidable aspects, hitherto unthought of, rose in his +mind, and the figure of Eldon Parr loomed to Brobdingnagian proportions +as he approached it. In spite of his determination, the life-blood of +his confidence ebbed, a sense of the power and might of the man who had +now become his adversary increased; and that apprehension of the impact +of the great banker's personality, the cutting edge with the vast +achievements wedged in behind it, each adding weight and impetus to its +momentum the apprehension he had felt in less degree on the day of the +first meeting, and which had almost immediately evaporated--surged up +in him now. His fear was lest the charged atmosphere of the banker's +presence might deflect his own hitherto clear perception of true worth. +He dreaded, once in the midst of those disturbing currents, a bungling +presentation of the cause which inspired him, and which he knew to be +righteousness itself. + +Suddenly his mood shifted, betraying still another weakness, and he saw +Eldon Parr, suddenly, vividly--more vividly, indeed, than ever before--in +the shades of the hell of his loneliness. And pity welled up, drowning +the image of incarnate greed and selfishness and lust for wealth and +power: The unique pathos of his former relationship with the man +reasserted itself, and Hodder was conscious once more of the dependence +which Eldon Parr had had on his friendship. During that friendship he, +Hodder, had never lost the sense of being the stronger of the two, of +being leaned upon: leaned upon by a man whom the world feared and hated, +and whom he had been enable to regard with anything but compassion and +the unquestionable affection which sprang from it. Appalled by this +transition, he alighted from the car, and stood for a moment alone in the +darkness gazing at the great white houses that rose above the dusky +outline of shrubbery and trees. + +At any rate, he wouldn't find that sense of dependence to-night. And it +steeled him somewhat to think, as he resumed his steps, that he would +meet now the other side, the hard side hitherto always turned away. Had +he needed no other warning of this, the answer to his note asking for an +appointment would have been enough,--a brief and formal communication +signed by the banker's secretary. . . + +"Mr. Parr is engaged just at present, sir," said the servant who opened +the door. "Would you be good enough to step into the library?" + +Hardly had he entered the room when he heard a sound behind him, and +turned to confront Alison. The thought of her, too, had complicated +infinitely his emotions concerning the interview before him, and the +sight of her now, of her mature beauty displayed in evening dress, of her +white throat gleaming whiter against the severe black of her gown, made +him literally speechless. Never had he accused her of boldness, and now +least of all. It was the quality of her splendid courage that was borne +in upon him once more above the host of other feelings and impressions, +for he read in her eyes a knowledge of the meaning of his visit. + +They stood facing each other an appreciable moment. + +"Mr. Langmaid is with him now," she said, in a low voice. + +"Yes," he answered. + +Her eyes still rested on his face, questioningly, appraisingly, as though +she were seeking to estimate his preparedness for the ordeal before him, +his ability to go through with it successfully, triumphantly. And in her +mention of Langmaid he recognized that she had meant to sound a note of +warning. She had intimated a consultation of the captains, a council of +war. And yet he had never spoken to her of this visit. This proof of +her partisanship, that she had come to him at the crucial instant, +overwhelmed him. + +"You know why I am here?" he managed to say. It had to do with the +extent of her knowledge. + +"Oh, why shouldn't I?" she cried, "after what you have told me. And +could you think I didn't understand, from the beginning, that it meant +this?" + +His agitation still hampered him. He made a gesture of assent. + +"It was inevitable," he said. + +"Yes, it' was inevitable," she assented, and walked slowly to the mantel, +resting her hand on it and bending her head. "I felt that you would not +shirk it, and yet I realize how painful it must be to you." + +"And to you," he replied quickly. + +"Yes, and to me. I do not know what you know, specifically,--I have +never sought to find out things, in detail. That would be horrid. But +I understand--in general--I have understood for many years." She raised +her head, and flashed him a glance that was between a quivering smile and +tears. "And I know that you have certain specific information." + +He could only wonder at her intuition. + +"So far as I am concerned, it is not for the world," he answered. + +"Oh, I appreciate that in you!" she exclaimed. "I wished you to know it. +I wished you to know," she added, a little unsteadily, "how much I admire +you for what you are doing. They are afraid of you--they will crush you +if they can." + +He did not reply. + +"But you are going to speak the truth," she continued, her voice low and +vibrating, "that is splendid! It must have its effect, no matter what +happens." + +"Do you feel that?" he asked, taking a step toward her. + +"Yes. When I see you, I feel it, I think." . . . + +Whatever answer he might have made to this was frustrated by the +appearance of the figure of Nelson Langmaid in the doorway. He seemed +to survey them benevolently through his spectacles. + +"How are you, Hodder? Well, Alison, I have to leave without seeing +anything of you--you must induce your father not to bring his business +home with him. Just a word," he added to the rector, "before you go up." + +Hodder turned to Alison. "Good night," he said. + +The gentle but unmistakable pressure of her hand he interpreted as the +pinning on him of the badge of her faith. He was to go into battle +wearing her colours. Their eyes met. + +"Good night," she answered . . . . + +In the hall the lawyer took his arm. + +"What's the trouble, Hodder?" he asked, sympathetically. + +Hodder, although on his guard, was somewhat taken aback by the directness +of the onslaught. + +"I'm afraid, Mr. Langmaid," the rector replied, "that it would take me +longer to tell you than the time at your disposal." + +Dear me," said the lawyer, "this is too bad. Why didn't you come to me? +I am a good friend of yours, Hodder, and there is an additional bond +between us on my sister's account. She is extremely fond of you, you +know. And I have a certain feeling of responsibility for you,--I brought +you here." + +"You have always been very kind, and I appreciate it," Hodder replied. +"I should be sorry to cause you any worry or annoyance. But you must +understand that I cannot share the responsibility of my acts with any +one." + +"A little advice from an old legal head is sometimes not out of place. +Even Dr. Gilman used to consult me. I hope you will bear in mind how +remarkably well you have been getting along at St. John's, and what a +success you've made." + +"Success!" echoed the rector. + +Either Mr. Langmaid read nothing in his face, or was determined to read +nothing. + +"Assuredly," he answered, benignly. "You have managed to please +everybody, Mr. Parr included,--and some of us are not easy to please. +I thought I'd tell you this, as a friend, as your first friend in the +parish. Your achievement has been all the more remarkable, following, +as you did, Dr. Gilman. Now it would greatly distress me to see that +state of things disturbed, both for your sake and others. I thought I +would just give you a hint, as you are going to see Mr. Parr, that he +is in rather a nervous state. These so-called political reformers have +upset the market and started a lot of legal complications that's why I'm +here to-night. Go easy with him. I know you won't do anything foolish." + +The lawyer accompanied this statement with a pat, but this time he did +not succeed in concealing his concern. + +"That depends on one's point of view," Hodder returned, with a smile. +"I do not know how you have come to suspect that I am going to disturb +Mr. Parr, but what I have to say to him is between him and me." + +Langmaid took up his hat from the table, and sighed. + +"Drop in on me sometime," he said, "I'd like to talk to you--Hodder heard +a voice behind him, and turned. A servant was standing there. + +"Mr. Parr is ready to see you, sir," he said. + +The rector followed him up the stairs, to the room on the second floor, +half office, half study, where the capitalist transacted his business +when at home. + + + +III + +Eldon Parr was huddled over his desk reading a typewritten document; but +he rose, and held out his hand, which Hodder took. + +"How are you, Mr. Hodder? I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but +matters of some legal importance have arisen on which I was obliged to +make a decision. You're well, I hope." He shot a glance at the rector, +and sat down again, still holding the sheets. "If you will excuse me a +moment longer, I'll finish this." + +"Certainly," Hodder replied. + +"Take a chair," said Mr. Parr, "you'll find the evening paper beside +you." + +Hodder sat down, and the banker resumed his perusal of the document, his +eye running rapidly over the pages, pausing once in a while to scratch +out a word or to make a note on the margin. In the concentration of the +man on the task before him the rector read a design, an implication that +the affairs of the Church were of a minor importance: sensed, indeed, +the new attitude of hostility, gazed upon the undiscovered side, the +dangerous side before which other men had quailed. Alison's words +recurred to him, "they are afraid of you, they will crush you if they +can." Eldon Parr betrayed, at any rate, no sign of fear. If his mental +posture were further analyzed, it might be made out to contain an +intimation that the rector, by some act, had forfeited the right +to the unique privilege of the old relationship. + +Well, the fact that the banker had, in some apparently occult manner, +been warned, would make Hodder's task easier--or rather less difficult. +His feelings were even more complicated than he had anticipated. The +moments of suspense were trying to his nerves, and he had a shrewd notion +that this making men wait was a favourite manoeuvre of Eldon Parr's; nor +had he underrated the benumbing force of that personality. It was +evident that the financier intended him to open the battle, and he was-- +as he had expected--finding it difficult to marshal the regiments of his +arguments. In vain he thought of the tragedy of Garvin . . . . The +thing was more complicated. And behind this redoubtable and sinister +Eldon Parr he saw, as it were, the wraith of that: other who had once +confessed the misery of his loneliness. . . . + +At last the banker rang, sharply, the bell on his desk. A secretary +entered, to whom he dictated a telegram which contained these words: +"Langmaid has discovered a way out." It was to be sent to an address in +Texas. Then he turned in his chair and crossed his knees, his hand +fondling an ivory paper-cutter. He smiled a little. + +"Well, Mr. Hodder," he said. + +The rector, intensely on his guard, merely inclined his head in +recognition that his turn had come. + +"I was sorry," the banker continued, after a perceptible pause, --that +you could not see your way clear to have come with me on the cruise." + +"I must thank you again," Hodder answered, "but I felt--as I wrote you-- +that certain matters made it impossible for me to go." + +"I suppose you had your reasons, but I think you would have enjoyed the +trip. I had a good, seaworthy boat--I chartered her from Mr. Lieber, the +president of the Continental Zinc, you know. I went as far as Labrador. +A wonderful coast, Mr. Hodder." + +"It must be," agreed the rector. It was clear that Mr. Parr intended to +throw upon him the onus of the first move. There was a silence, brief, +indeed, but long enough for Hodder to feel more and more distinctly the +granite hardness which the other had become, to experience a rising, +reenforcing anger. He went forward, steadily but resolutely, on the +crest of it. "I have remained in the city," he continued, "and I have had +the opportunity to discover certain facts of which I have hitherto been +ignorant, and which, in my opinion, profoundly affect the welfare of the +church. It is of these I wished to speak to you." + +Mr. Parr waited. + +"It is not much of an exaggeration to say that ever since I came here +I have been aware that St. John's, considering the long standing of the +parish, the situation of the church in a thickly populated district, is +not fulfilling its mission. But I have failed until now to perceive the +causes of that inefficiency." + +"Inefficiency?" The banker repeated the word. + +"Inefficiency," said Hodder. "The reproach, the responsibility is +largely mine, as the rector, the spiritual, head of the parish. I +believe I am right when I say that the reason for the decision, some +twenty years ago, to leave the church where it is, instead of selling the +property and building in the West End, was that it might minister to the +poor in the neighbourhood, to bring religion and hope into their lives, +and to exert its influence towards eradicating the vice and misery which +surround it." + +"But I thought you had agreed," said Mr. Parr, coldly, "that we were to +provide for that in the new chapel and settlement house." + +"For reasons which I hope to make plain to you, Mr. Parr," Hodder +replied, "those people can never be reached, as they ought to be reached, +by building that settlement house. The principle is wrong, the day is +past when such things can be done--in that way." He laid an emphasis on +these words. "It is good, I grant you, to care for the babies and +children of the poor, it is good to get young women and men out of the +dance-halls, to provide innocent amusement, distraction, instruction. +But it is not enough. It leaves the great, transforming thing in the +lives of these people untouched, and it will forever remain untouched so +long as a sense of wrong, a continually deepening impression of an +unchristian civilization upheld by the Church herself, exists. Such an +undertaking as that settlement house--I see clearly now--is a palliation, +a poultice applied to one of many sores, a compromise unworthy of the +high mission of the Church. She should go to the root of the disease. +It is her first business to make Christians, who, by amending their own +lives, by going out individually and collectively into the life of the +nation, will gradually remove these conditions." + +Mr. Parr sat drumming on the table. Hodder met his look. + +"So you, too, have come to it," he said. + +"Have come to what?" + +"Socialism." + +Hodder, in the state of clairvoyance in which he now surprisingly found +himself, accurately summed up the value and meaning of the banker's sigh. + +"Say, rather," he replied, "that I have come to Christianity. We shall +never have what is called socialism until there is no longer any +necessity for it, until men, of their owe free will, are ready to +renounce selfish, personal ambition and power and work for humanity, +for the state." + +Mr. Parr's gesture implied that he cared not by what name the thing was +called, but he still appeared strangely, astonishingly calm;--Hodder, +with all his faculties acute, apprehended that he was dangerously calm. +The man who had formerly been his friend was now completely obliterated, +and he had the feeling almost of being about to grapple, in mortal +combat, with some unknown monster whose tactics and resources were +infinite, whose victims had never escaped. The monster was in Eldon +Parr--that is how it came to him. The waxy, relentless demon was +aroused. It behooved him, Hodder, to step carefully . . . . + +"That is all very fine, Mr. Hodder, very altruistic, very Christian, +I've no doubt-but the world doesn't work that way." (These were the +words borne in on Hodder's consciousness.) "What drives the world is the +motive furnished by the right of acquiring and holding property. If we +had a division to-day, the able men would come out on top next year." + +The rector shook his head. He remembered, at that moment, Horace +Bentley. + +"What drives the world is a far higher motive, Mr. Parr, the motive +with which have been fired the great lights of history, the motive of +renunciation and service which is transforming governments, which is +gradually making the world a better place in which to live. And we are +seeing men and women imbued with it, rising in ever increasing numbers on +every side to-day." + +"Service!" Eldon Parr had seized upon the word as it passed and held it. +"What do you think my life has been? I suppose," he said, with a touch +of intense bitterness, "that you, too, who six months ago seemed as +reasonable a man as I ever met, have joined in the chorus of +denunciators. It has become the fashion to-day, thanks to your +socialists, reformers, and agitators, to decry a man because he is rich, +to take it for granted that he is a thief and a scoundrel, that he has no +sense of responsibility for his country and his fellow-men. The glory, +the true democracy of this nation, lies in its equal opportunity for all. +They take no account of that, of the fact that each has had the same +chance as his fellows. No, but they cry out that the man who, by the +sweat of his brow, has earned wealth ought to divide it up with the lazy +and the self-indulgent and the shiftless. + +"Take my case, for instance,--it is typical of thousands. I came to this +city as a boy in my teens, with eight dollars in my pocket which I had +earned on a farm. I swept the floor, cleaned the steps, moved boxes and +ran errands in Gabriel Parker's store on Third Street. I was +industrious, sober, willing to do anything. I fought, I tell you every +inch of my way. As soon as I saved a little money I learned to use every +ounce of brain I possessed to hold on to it. I trusted a man once, and I +had to begin all over again. And I discovered, once for all, if a man +doesn't look out for himself, no one will. + +"I don't pretend that I am any better than any one else, I have had to +take life as I found it, and make the best of it. I conformed to the +rules of the game; I soon had sense enough knocked into me to understand +that the conditions were not of my making. But I'll say this for +myself," Eldon Parr leaned forward over the blotter, "I had standards, +and I stuck by them. I wanted to be a decent citizen, to bring up my +children in the right way. I didn't squander my money, when I got it, on +wine and women, I respected other men's wives, I supported the Church and +the institutions of the city. I too even I had my ambitions, my ideals-- +and they were not entirely worldly ones. You would probably accuse me of +wishing to acquire only the position of power which I hold. If you had +accepted my invitation to go aboard the yacht this summer, it was my +intention to unfold to you a scheme of charities which has long been +forming in my mind, and which I think would be of no small benefit to the +city where I have made my fortune. I merely mention this to prove to you +that I am not unmindful, in spite of the circumstances of my own life, +of the unfortunates whose mental equipment is not equal to my own." + +By this "poor boy" argument which--if Hodder had known--Mr. Parr had +used at banquets with telling effect, the banker seemed to regain +perspective and equilibrium, to plant his feet once more on the +rock of the justification of his life, and from which, by a somewhat +extraordinary process he had not quite understood, he had been partially +shaken off. As he had proceeded with his personal history, his manner +had gradually become one of the finality of experience over theory, +of the forbearance of the practical man with the visionary. Like most +successful citizens of his type, he possessed in a high degree the +faculty of creating sympathy, of compelling others to accept-- +temporarily, at least--his point of view. It was this faculty, Hodder +perceived, which had heretofore laid an enchantment upon him, and it was +not without a certain wonder that he now felt himself to be released from +the spell. + +The perceptions of the banker were as keen, and his sense of security was +brief. Somehow, as he met the searching eye of the rector, he was unable +to see the man as a visionary, but beheld--and, to do him justice--felt a +twinge of respect for an adversary worthy of his steel. + +He, who was accustomed to prepare for clouds when they were mere specks +on his horizon, paused even now to marvel why he had not dealt with this. +Here was a man--a fanatic, if he liked--but still a man who positively +did not fear him, to whom his wrath and power were as nothing! A new and +startling and complicated sensation--but Eldon Parr was no coward. If he +had, consciously or unconsciously, formerly looked upon the clergyman as +a dependent, Hodder appeared to be one no more. The very ruggedness of +the man had enhanced, expanded--as it were--until it filled the room. +And Hodder had, with an audacity unparalleled in the banker's experience +arraigned by implication his whole life, managed to put him on the +defensive. + +"But if that be your experience," the rector said, "and it has become +your philosophy, what is it in you that impels you to give these large +sums for the public good?" + +"I should suppose that you, as a clergyman, might understand that my +motive is a Christian one." + +Hodder sat very still, but a higher light came into his eyes. + +"Mr. Parr," he replied, "I have been a friend of yours, and I am a friend +still. And what I am going to tell you is not only in the hope that +others may benefit, but that your own soul may be saved. I mean that +literally--your own soul. You are under the impression that you are a +Christian, but you are not and never have been one. And you will not be +one until your whole life is transformed, until you become a different +man. If you do not change, it is my duty to warn you that the sorrow and +suffering, the uneasiness which you now know, and which drive you on, in +search of distraction, to adding useless sums of money to your fortune-- +this suffering, I say, will become intensified. You will die in the +knowledge of it, and live on after, in the knowledge of it." + +In spite of himself, the financier drew back before this unexpected +blast, the very intensity of which had struck a chill of terror in his +inmost being. He had been taken off his guard,--for he had supposed the +day long past--if it had ever existed--when a spiritual rebuke would +upset him; the day long past when a minister could pronounce one with +any force. That the Church should ever again presume to take herself +seriously had never occurred to him. And yet--the man had denounced him +in a moment of depression, of nervous irritation and exasperation against +a government which had begun to interfere with the sacred liberty of its +citizens, against political agitators who had spurred that government on. +The world was mad. No element, it seemed, was now content to remain in +its proper place. His voice, as he answered, shook with rage,--all the +greater because the undaunted sternness by which it was confronted seemed +to reduce it to futility. + +"Take care!" he cried, "take care! You, nor any other man, clergyman or +no clergyman, have any right to be the judge of my conduct." + +"On the contrary," said Holder, "if your conduct affects the welfare, the +progress, the reputation of the church of which I am rector, I have the +right. And I intend to exercise it. It becomes my duty, however +painful, to tell you, as a member of the Church, wherein you have +wronged the Church and wronged yourself." + +He didn't raise his tone, and there was in it more of sorrow than of +indignation. The banker turned an ashen gray . . A moment elapsed +before he spoke, a transforming moment. He suddenly became ice. + +"Very well," he said. "I can't pretend to account for these astounding +views you have acquired--and I am using a mild term. Let me say this: +(he leaned forward a little, across the desk) I demand that you be +specific. I am a busy man, I have little time to waste, I have certain +matters--before me which must be attended to to-night. I warn you that +I will not listen any longer to vague accusations." + +It was Holder's turn to marvel. Did Eldon Purr, after all; have no sense +of guilt? Instantaneously, automatically, his own anger rose. + +"You may be sure, Mr. Parr, that I should not be here unless I were +prepared to be specific. And what I am going to say to you I have +reserved for your ear alone, in the hope that you will take it to heart, +while it is not yet too late, said amend your life accordingly." + +Eldon Parr shifted slightly. His look became inscrutable, was riveted on +the rector. + +"I shall call your attention first to a man of whom you have probably +never heard. He is dead now--he threw himself into the river this +summer, with a curse on his lips--I am afraid--a curse against you. A +few years ago he lived happily with his wife and child in a little house +on the Grade Suburban, and he had several thousand dollars as a result of +careful saving and systematic self-denial. + +"Perhaps you have never thought of the responsibilities of a great name. +This man, like thousands of others in the city, idealized you. He looked +up to you as the soul of honour, as a self-made man who by his own +unaided efforts--as you yourself have just pointed out--rose from a poor +boy to a position of power and trust in the community. He saw you a +prominent layman in the Church of God. He was dazzled by the brilliancy +of your success, inspired by a civilization which--gave such +opportunities. He recognized that he himself had not the brains for such +an achievement,--his hope and love and ambition were centred in his boy." + +At the word Eldon Parr's glance was suddenly dulled by pain. He +tightened his lips. + +"That boy was then of a happy, merry disposition, so the mother says, and +every summer night as she cooked supper she used to hear him laughing as +he romped in the yard with his father. When I first saw him this summer, +it was two days before his father committed suicide. The child was +lying, stifled with the heat, in the back room of one of those desolate +lodging houses in Dalton Street, and his little body had almost wasted +away. + +"While I was there the father came in, and when he saw me he was filled +with fury. He despised the Church, and St. John's above all churches, +because you were of it; because you who had given so generously to it had +wrecked his life. You had shattered his faith in humanity, his ideal. +From a normal, contented man he had deteriorated into a monomaniac whom +no one would hire, a physical and mental wreck who needed care and +nursing. He said he hoped the boy would die. + +"And what had happened? The man had bought, with all the money he had +in the world, Consolidated Tractions. He had bought it solely because +of his admiration for your ability, his faith in your name. It was +inconceivable to him that a man of your standing, a public benefactor, a +supporter of church and charities, would permit your name to be connected +with any enterprise that was not sound and just. Thousands like Garvin +lost all they had, while you are still a rich man. It is further +asserted that you sold out all your stock at a high price, with the +exception of that in the leased lines, which are guaranteed heavy +dividends." + +"Have you finished?" demanded Eldon Parr. + +"Not quite, on this subject," replied the rector. "Two nights after +that, the man threw himself in the river. His body was pulled out by men +on a tugboat, and his worthless stock certificate was in his pocket. It +is now in the possession of Mr. Horace Bentley. Thanks to Mr. Bentley, +the widow found a temporary home, and the child has almost recovered." + +Hodder paused. His interest had suddenly become concentrated upon the +banker's new demeanour, and he would not have thought it within the range +of possibility that a man could listen to such a revelation concerning +himself without the betrayal of some feeling. But so it was,--Eldon Parr +had been coldly attentive, save for the one scarcely perceptible tremor +when the boy was mentioned. His interrogatory gesture gave the very +touch of perfection to this attitude, since it proclaimed him to have +listened patiently to a charge so preposterous that a less reasonable man +would have cut it short. + +"And what leads you to suppose," he inquired, "that I am responsible in +this matter? What leads you to infer that the Consolidated Tractions +Company was not organized in good faith? Do you think that business men +are always infallible? The street-car lines of this city were at sixes +and sevens, fighting each other; money was being wasted by poor +management. The idea behind the company was a public-spirited one, to +give the citizens cheaper and better service, by a more modern equipment, +by a wider system of transfer. It seems to me, Mr. Hodder, that you put +yourself in a more quixotic position than the so-called reformers when +you assume that the men who organize a company in good faith are +personally responsible for every share of stock that is sold, and for +the welfare of every individual who may buy the stock. We force no one +to buy it. They do so at their own risk. I myself have thousands of +dollars of worthless stock in my safe. I have never complained." + +The full force of Hodder's indignation went into his reply. + +"I am not talking about the imperfect code of human justice under which +we live, Mr. Parr," he cried. "This is not a case in which a court of +law may exonerate you, it is between you and your God. But I have taken +the trouble to find out, from unquestioned sources, the truth about the +Consolidated Tractions Company--I shall not go into the details at +length--they are doubtless familiar to you. I know that the legal genius +of Mr. Langmaid, one of my vestry, made possible the organization of the +company, and thereby evaded the plain spirit of the law of the state. +I know that one branch line was bought for two hundred and fifty thousand +dollars, and capitalized for three millions, and that most of the others +were scandalously over-capitalized. I know that while the coming +transaction was still a secret, you and other, gentlemen connected with +the matter bought up large interests in other lines, which you proceeded +to lease to yourselves at guaranteed dividends which these lines do not +earn. I know that the first large dividend was paid out of capital. And +the stock which you sold to poor Garvin was so hopelessly watered that it +never could have been anything but worthless. If, in spite of these +facts, you do not deem yourself responsible for the misery which has been +caused, if your conscience is now clear, it is my duty to tell you that +there is a higher bar of justice." + +The intensity of the fire of the denunciation had, indeed, a momentary +yet visible effect in the banker's expression. Whatever the emotions +thus lashed to self-betrayal, anger, hatred,--fear, perhaps, Hodder could +not detect a trace of penitence; and he was aware, on the part of the +other, of a supreme, almost spasmodic effort for self-control. The +constitutional reluctance of Eldon Parr to fight openly could not have +been more clearly demonstrated. + +"Because you are a clergyman, Mr. Hodder," he began, "because you are +the rector of St. John's, I have allowed you to say things to me which +I would not have permitted from any other man. I have tried to take +into account your point of view, which is naturally restricted, your +pardonable ignorance of what business men, who wish to do their duty by +Church and State, have to contend with. When you came to this parish you +seemed to have a sensible, a proportional view of things; you were +content to confine your activities to your own sphere, content not to +meddle with politics and business, which you could, at first hand, know +nothing about. The modern desire of clergymen to interfere in these +matters has ruined the usefulness of many of them. + +"I repeat, I have tried to be patient. I venture to hope, still, that +this extraordinary change in you may not be permanent, but merely the +result of a natural sympathy with the weak and unwise and unfortunate who +are always to be found in a complex civilization. I can even conceive +how such a discovery must have shocked you, temporarily aroused your +indignation, as a clergyman, against the world as it is--and, I may add, +as it has always been. My personal friendship for you, and my interest +in your future welfare impel me to make a final appeal to you not to ruin +a career which is full of promise." + +The rector did not take advantage of the pause. A purely psychological +curiosity hypnotized him to see how far the banker would go in his +apparent generosity. + +"I once heard you say, I believe, in a sermon, that the Christian +religion is a leaven. It is the leaven that softens and ameliorates the +hard conditions of life, that makes our relations with our fellow-men +bearable. But life is a contest, it is war. It always has been, and +always will be. Business is war, commerce is war, both among nations and +individuals. You cannot get around it. If a man does not exterminate +his rivals they will exterminate him. In other days churches were built +and endowed with the spoils of war, and did not disdain the money. +To-day they cheerfully accept the support and gifts of business men. +I do not accuse them of hypocrisy. It is a recognition on their part +that business men, in spite of hard facts, are not unmindful of the +spiritual side of life, and are not deaf to the injunction to help +others. And when, let me ask you, could you find in the world's history +more splendid charities than are around us to-day? Institutions endowed +for medical research, for the conquest of deadly diseases? libraries, +hospitals, schools--men giving their fortunes for these things, the +fruits of a life's work so laboriously acquired? Who can say that the +modern capitalist is not liberal, is not a public benefactor? + +"I dislike being personal, but you have forced it upon me. I dislike to +refer to what I have already done in the matter of charities, but I +hinted to you awhile ago of a project I have conceived and almost +perfected of gifts on a much larger scale than I have ever attempted." +The financier stared at him meaningly. "And I had you in mind as one of +the three men whom I should consult, whom I should associate with myself +in the matter. We cannot change human nature, but we can better +conditions by wise giving. I do not refer now to the settle ment house, +which I am ready to help make and maintain as the best in the country, +but I have in mind a system to be carried out with the consent and aid +of the municipal government, of play-grounds, baths, parks, places of +recreation, and hospitals, for the benefit of the people, which will +put our city in the very forefront of progress. And I believe, as a +practical man, I can convince you that the betterment which you and I so +earnestly desire can be brought about in no other way. Agitation can +only result in anarchy and misery for all." + +Hodder's wrath, as he rose from his chair, was of the sort that appears +incredibly to add to the physical stature,--the bewildering spiritual +wrath which is rare indeed, and carries all before it. + +"Don't tempt me, Mr. Parr!" he said. "Now that I know the truth, I tell +you frankly I would face poverty and persecution rather than consent to +your offer. And I warn you once more not to flatter yourself that +existence ends here, that you will, not be called to answer for every +wrong act you have committed in accumulating your fortune, that what +you call business is an affair of which God takes no account. What +I say may seem foolishness to you, but I tell you, in the words of that +Foolishness, that it will not profit you to gain the whole world and lose +your own soul. You remind me that the Church in old time accepted gifts +from the spoils of war, and I will add of rapine and murder. And the +Church to-day, to repeat your own parallel, grows rich with money +wrongfully got. Legally? Ah, yes, legally, perhaps. But that will not +avail you. And the kind of church you speak of--to which I, to my shame, +once consented--Our Lord repudiates. It is none of his. I warn you, Mr. +Parr, in his Name, first to make your peace with your brothers before you +presume to lay another gift on the altar." + +During this withering condemnation of himself Eldon Parr sat motionless, +his face grown livid, an expression on it that continued to haunt Hodder +long afterwards. An expression, indeed, which made the banker almost +unrecognizable. + +"Go, he whispered, his hand trembling visibly as he pointed towards the +door. "Go--I have had enough of this." + +"Not until I have said one thing more," replied the rector, undaunted. +"I have found the woman whose marriage with your son you prevented, whom +you bought off and started on the road to hell without any sense of +responsibility. You have made of her a prostitute and a drunkard. +Whether she can be rescued or not is problematical. She, too, is in +Mr. Bentley's care, a man upon whom you once showed no mercy. I leave +Garvin, who has gone to his death, and Kate Marcy and Horace Bentley to +your conscience, Mr. Parr. That they are representative of many others, +I do not doubt. I tell you solemnly that the whole meaning of life is +service to others, and I warn you, before it is too late, to repent and +make amends. Gifts will not help you, and charities are of no avail." + +At the reference to Kate Marcy Eldon Parr's hand dropped to his side. +He seemed to have physical difficulty in speaking. + +"Ah, you have found that woman!" He leaned an elbow on the desk, +he seemed suddenly to have become weary, spent, old. And Hodder, +as he watched him, perceived--that his haggard look was directed towards +a photograph in a silver frame on the table--a photograph of Preston +Parr. At length he broke the silence. + +"What would you have had me do?" he asked. "Permit my son to marry a +woman of the streets, I suppose. That would have been Christianity, +according to your notion. Come now, what world you have done, if your +son had been in question?" + +A wave of pity swept over the rector. + +"Why," he said, why did you have nothing but cruelty in your heart, and +contempt for her? When you saw that she was willing, for the love of the +son whom you loved, to give up all that life meant to her, how could you +destroy her without a qualm? The crime you committed was that you +refused to see God in that woman's soul, when he had revealed himself to +you. You looked for wile, for cunning, for self-seeking,--and they were +not there. Love had obliterated them. When you saw how meekly she +obeyed you, and agreed to go away, why did you not have pity? If you +had listened to your conscience, you would have known what to do. + +"I do not say that you should not have opposed the marriage--then. +Marriage is not to be lightly entered into. From the moment you went to +see her you became responsible for her. You hurled her into the abyss, +and she has come back to haunt you. You should have had her educated and +cared for--she would have submitted, to any plan you proposed. And if, +after a sensible separation, you became satisfied as to her character and +development, and your son still wished to marry her, you should have +withdrawn your objections. + +"As it is, and in consequence of your act, you have lost your son. He +left you then, and you have no more control over him." + +"Stop!" cried Eldon Parr, "for God's sake stop! I won't stand any more +of this. I will not listen to criticism of my life, to strictures on my +conduct from you or any other man." He reached for a book on the corner +of his desk--a cheque book.--"You'll want money for these people, I +suppose," he added brutally. "I will give it, but it must be understood +that I do not recognize any right of theirs to demand it." + +For a moment Holder did not trust himself to reply. He looked down +across the desk at the financier, who was fumbling with the leaves. + +"They do not demand it, Mr. Parr," he answered, gently. "And I have +tried to make it plain to you that you have lost the right to give it. +I expected to fail in this. I have failed." + +"What do you mean?" Eldon Parr let the cheque book close. + +"I mean what I said," the rector replied. "That if you would save your +soul you must put an end, to-morrow, to the acquisition of money, and +devote the rest of your life to an earnest and sincere attempt to make +just restitution to those you have wronged. And you must ask the +forgiveness of God for your sins. Until you do that, your charities are +abominations in his sight. I will not trouble you any longer, except to +say that I shall be ready to come to you at any time my presence may be +of any help to you." + +The banker did not speak . . . . With a single glance towards the +library Holder left the house, but paused for a moment outside to gaze +back at it, as it loomed in the darkness against the stars. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI + +ALISON GOES TO CHURCH + + +I + +On the following Sunday morning the early light filtered into Alison's +room, and she opened her strong eyes. Presently she sprang from her bed +and drew back the curtains of the windows, gazing rapturously into the +crystal day. The verdure of the Park was freshened to an incredible +brilliancy by the dew, a thin white veil of mist was spread over the +mirror of the waters, the trees flung long shadows across the turf. + +A few minutes later she was out, thrilled by the silence, drawing in +deep, breaths of the morning air; lingering by still lakes catching the +blue of the sky--a blue that left its stain upon the soul; as the sun +mounted she wandered farther, losing herself in the wilderness of the +forest. + +At eight o'clock, when she returned, there were signs that the city had +awakened. A mounted policeman trotted past her as she crossed a gravel +drive, and on the tree-flecked stretches, which lately had been empty as +Eden, human figures were scattered. A child, with a sailboat that +languished for lack of wind, stared at her, first with fascination and +wonder in his eyes, and then smiled at her tentatively. She returned the +smile with a start. + +Children had stared at her like that before now, and for the first time +in her life she asked herself what the look might mean. She had never +really been fond of them: she had never, indeed, been brought much in +contact with them. But now, without warning, a sudden fierce yearning +took possession of her: surprised and almost frightened, she stopped +irresistibly and looked back at the thin little figure crouched beside +the water, to discover that his widened eyes were still upon her. Her +own lingered on him shyly, and thus for a moment she hung in doubt +whether to flee or stay, her heart throbbing as though she were on the +brink of some unknown and momentous adventure. She took a timid step. + +"What's your name?" she asked. + +The boy told her. + +"What's yours?" he ventured, still under the charm. + +"Alison." + +He had never heard of that name, and said so. They deplored the lack of +wind. And presently, still mystified, but gathering courage, he asked +her why she blushed, at which her colour deepened. + +"I can't help it," she told him. + +"I like it," the boy said. + +Though the grass was still wet, she got down on her knees in her white +skirt, the better to push the boat along the shore: once it drifted +beyond their reach, and was only rescued by a fallen branch discovered +with difficulty. + +The arrival of the boy's father, an anaemic-looking little man, put an +end to their play. He deplored the condition of the lady's dress. + +"It doesn't matter in the least," she assured him, and fled in a mood she +did not attempt to analyze. Hurrying homeward, she regained her room, +bathed, and at half past eight appeared in the big, formal dining-room, +from which the glare of the morning light was carefully screened. Her +father insisted on breakfasting here; and she found him now seated before +the white table-cloth, reading a newspaper. He glanced up at her +critically. + +"So you've decided to honour me this morning," he said. + +"I've been out in the Park," she replied, taking the chair opposite him. +He resumed his reading, but presently, as she was pouring out the coffee, +he lowered the paper again. + +"What's the occasion to-day?" he asked. + +"The occasion?" she repeated, without acknowledging that she had +instantly grasped his implication. His eyes were on her gown. + +"You are not accustomed, as a rule, to pay much deference to Sunday." + +"Doesn't the Bible say, somewhere," she inquired, "that the Sabbath was +made for man? Perhaps that may be broadened after a while, to include +woman." + +"But you have never been an advocate, so far as I know, of women taking +advantage of their opportunity by going to Church." + +"What's the use," demanded Alison, "of the thousands of working women +spending the best part of the day in the ordinary church, when their feet +and hands and heads are aching? Unless some fire is kindled in their +souls, it is hopeless for them to try to obtain any benefit from +religion--so-called--as it is preached to them in most churches." + +"Fire in their souls!" exclaimed the banker. + +"Yes. If the churches offered those who might be leaders among their +fellows a practical solution of existence, kindled their self-respect, +replaced a life of drudgery by one of inspiration--that would be worth +while. But you will never get such a condition as that unless your +pulpits are filled by personalities, instead of puppets who are all cast +in one mould, and who profess to be there by divine right." + +"I am glad to see at least that you are taking an interest in religious +matters," her father observed, meaningly. + +Alison coloured. But she retorted with spirit. + +"That is true of a great many persons to-day who are thinking on the +subject. If Christianity is a solution of life, people are demanding of +the churches that they shall perform their function, and show us how, and +why, or else cease to encumber the world." + +Eldon Parr folded up his newspaper. + +"So you are going to Church this morning," he said. + +"Yes. At what time will you be ready?" + +"At quarter to eleven. But if you are going to St. John', you will have +to start earlier. I'll order a car at half past ten." + +"Where are you going?" She held her breath, unconsciously, for the +answer. + +"To Calvary," he replied coldly, as he rose to leave the room. "But I +hesitate to ask you to come,--I am afraid you will not find a religion +there that suits you." + +For a moment she could not trust herself to speak. The secret which, +ever since Friday evening, she had been burning to learn was disclosed +. . . Her father had broken with Mr. Hodder! + +"Please don't order the motor for me," she said. "I'd rather go in the +street cars." + +She sat very still in the empty room, her face burning. + +Characteristically, her father had not once mentioned the rector of St. +John's, yet had contrived to imply that her interest in Hodder was +greater than her interest in religion. And she was forced to admit, with +her customary honesty, that the implication was true. + + +The numbers who knew Alison Parr casually thought her cold. They admired +a certain quality in her work, but they did not suspect that that quality +was the incomplete expression of an innate idealism capable of being +fanned into flame,--for she was subject to rare but ardent enthusiasms +which kindled and transformed her incredibly in the eyes of the few to +whom the process had been revealed. She had had even a longer list of +suitors than any one guessed; men who--usually by accident--had touched +the hidden spring, and suddenly beholding an unimagined woman, had +consequently lost their heads. The mistake most of them had made (for +subtlety in such affairs is not a masculine trait) was the failure to +recognize and continue to present the quality in them which had awakened +her. She had invariably discovered the feet of clay. + +Thus disillusion had been her misfortune--perhaps it would be more +accurate to say her fortune. She had built up, after each invasion, her +defences more carefully and solidly than before, only to be again +astonished and dismayed by the next onslaught, until at length the +question had become insistent--the question of an alliance for purposes +of greater security. She had returned to her childhood home to consider +it, frankly recognizing it as a compromise, a fall . . . . + +And here, in this sanctuary of her reflection, and out of a quarter on +which she had set no watch, out of a wilderness which she had believed to +hold nothing save the ruined splendours of the past, had come one who, +like the traditional figures of the wilderness, had attracted her by his +very uncouthness and latent power. And the anomaly he presented in what +might be called the vehemence of his advocacy of an outworn orthodoxy, +in his occupation of the pulpit of St. John's, had quickened at once her +curiosity and antagonism. It had been her sudden discovery, or rather +her instinctive suspicion of the inner conflict in him which had set her +standard fluttering in response. Once more (for the last time--something +whispered--now) she had become the lady of the lists; she sat on her +walls watching, with beating heart and straining eyes, the closed helm +of her champion, ready to fling down the revived remnant of her faith as +prize or forfeit. She had staked all on the hope that he would not lower +his lance. . . . . + +Saturday had passed in suspense . . . . And now was flooding in on +her the certainty that he had not failed her; that he had, with a sublime +indifference to a worldly future and success, defied the powers. With +indifference, too, to her! She knew, of course, that he loved her. +A man with less of greatness would have sought a middle way . . . . + +When, at half past ten, she fared forth into the sunlight, she was filled +with anticipation, excitement, concern, feelings enhanced and not soothed +by the pulsing vibrations of the church bells in the softening air. The +swift motion of the electric car was grateful. . . But at length the +sight of familiar landmarks, old-fashioned dwellings crowded in between +the stores and factories of lower Tower Street, brought back +recollections of the days when she had come this way, other Sunday +mornings, and in a more leisurely public vehicle, with her mother. +Was it possible that she, Alison Parr, were going to church now? Her +excitement deepened, and she found it difficult to bring herself to the +realization that her destination was a church--the church of her +childhood. At this moment she could only think of St. John's as the +setting of the supreme drama. + +When she alighted at the corner of Burton Street there was the well- +remembered, shifting group on the pavement in front of the church porch. +How many times, in the summer and winter, in fair weather and cloudy, in +rain and sleet and snow had she approached that group, as she approached +it now! Here were the people, still, in the midst of whom her earliest +associations had been formed, changed, indeed,-but yet the same. No, the +change was in her, and the very vastness of that change came as a shock. +These had stood still, anchored to their traditions, while she--had she +grown? or merely wandered? She had searched, at least, and seen. She +had once accepted them--if indeed as a child it could have been said of +her that she accepted anything; she had been unable then, at any rate, to +bring forward any comparisons. + +Now she beheld them, collectively, in their complacent finery, as +representing a force, a section of the army blocking the heads of the +passes of the world's progress, resting on their arms, but ready at the +least uneasy movement from below to man the breastworks, to fling down +the traitor from above, to fight fiercely for the solidarity of their +order. And Alison even believed herself to detect, by something +indefinable in their attitudes as they stood momentarily conversing +in lowered voices, an aroused suspicion, an uneasy anticipation. Her +imagination went so far as to apprehend, as they greeted her unwonted +appearance, that they read in it an addition to other vague and +disturbing phenomena. Her colour was high. + +"Why, my dear," said Mrs. Atterbury, "I thought you had gone back to New +York long ago!" + +Beside his mother stood Gordon--more dried up, it seemed, than ever. +Alison recalled him, as on this very spot, a thin, pale boy in short +trousers, and Mrs. Atterbury a beautiful and controlled young matron +associated with St. John's and with children's parties. She was +wonderful yet, with her white hair and straight nose, her erect figure +still slight. Alison knew that Mrs. Atterbury had never forgiven her for +rejecting her son--or rather for being the kind of woman who could reject +him. + +"Surely you haven't been here all summer?" + +Alison admitted it, characteristically, without explanations. + +"It seems so natural to see you here at the old church, after all these +years," the lady went on, and Alison was aware that Mrs. Atterbury +questioned--or rather was at a loss for the motives which had led such an +apostate back to the fold. "We must thank Mr. Hodder, I suppose. He's +very remarkable. I hear he is resuming the services to-day for the first +time since June." + +Alison was inclined to read a significance into Mrs. Atterbury's glance +at her son, who was clearing his throat. + +"But--where is Mr. Parr?" he asked. "I understand he has come back from +his cruise." + +"Yes, he is back. I came without--him---as you see." + +She found a certain satisfaction in adding to the mystification, to the +disquietude he betrayed by fidgeting more than usual. + +"But--he always comes when he is in town. Business--I suppose--ahem!" + +"No," replied Alison, dropping her bomb with cruel precision, "he has +gone to Calvary." + +The agitation was instantaneous. + +"To Calvary!" exclaimed mother and son in one breath. + +"Why?" It was Gordon who demanded. "A--a special occasion there--a +bishop or something?" + +"I'm afraid you must ask him," she said. + +She was delayed on the steps, first by Nan Ferguson, then by the +Laureston Greys, and her news outdistanced her to the porch. Charlotte +Plimpton looking very red and solid, her eyes glittering with excitement, +blocked her way. + +"Alison?" she cried, in the slightly nasal voice that was a Gore +inheritance, "I'm told your father's gone to Calvary! Has Mr. Hodder +offended him? I heard rumours--Wallis seems to be afraid that something +has happened." + +"He hasn't said anything about it to me, Charlotte," said Alison, in +quiet amusement," but then he wouldn't, you know. I don't live here any +longer, and he has no reason to think that I would be interested in +church matters." + +"But--why did you come?" Charlotte demanded, with Gore naivete. + +Alison smiled. + +"You mean--what was my motive?" + +Charlotte actually performed the miracle of getting redder. She was +afraid of Alison--much more afraid since she had known of her vogue in +the East. When Alison had put into execution the astounding folly (to +the Gore mind) of rejecting the inheritance of millions to espouse a +profession, it had been Charlotte Plimpton who led the chorus of ridicule +and disapproval. But success, to the Charlotte Plimptons, is its own +justification, and now her ambition (which had ramifications) was to have +Alison "do" her a garden. Incidentally, the question had flashed through +her mind as to how much Alison's good looks had helped towards her +triumph in certain shining circles. + +"Oh, of course I didn't mean that," she hastened to deny, although it was +exactly what she had meant. Her curiosity unsatisfied--and not likely to +be satisfied at once, she shifted abruptly to the other burning subject. +"I was so glad when I learned you hadn't gone. Grace Larrabbee's garden +is a dream, my dear. Wallis and I stopped there the other day and the +caretaker showed it to us. Can't you make a plan for me, so that I may +begin next spring? And there's something else I wanted to ask you. +Wallis and I are going to New York the end of the month. Shall you be +there?" + +"I don't know," said Alison, cautiously. + +"We want so much to see one or two of your gardens on Long Island, and +especially the Sibleys', on the Hudson. I know it will be late in the +season,--but don't you think you could take us, Alison? And I intend to +give you a dinner. I'll write you a note. Here's Wallis." + +"Well, well, well," said Mr. Plimpton, shaking Alison's hand. "Where's +father? I hear he's gone to Calvary." + +Alison made her escape. Inside the silent church, Eleanor Goodrich gave +her a smile and a pressure of welcome. Beside her, standing behind the +rear pew, were Asa Waring and--Mr. Bentley! Mr. Bentley returned to St. +John's! + +"You have come!" Alison whispered. + +He understood her. He took her hand in his and looked down into her +upturned face. + +"Yes, my dear," he said, "and my girls have come Sally Grover and the +others, and some friends from Dalton Street and elsewhere." + +The news, the sound of this old gentleman's voice and the touch of his +hand suddenly filled her with a strange yet sober happiness. Asa Waring, +though he had not overheard, smiled at her too, as in sympathy. His +austere face was curiously illuminated, and she knew instinctively that +in some way he shared her happiness. Mr. Bentley had come back! Yes, it +was an augury. From childhood she had always admired Asa Waring, and now +she felt a closer tie . . . . + +She reached the pew, hesitated an instant, and slipped forward on her +knees. Years had gone by since she had prayed, and even now she made no +attempt to translate into words the intensity of her yearning--for what? +Hodder's success, for one thing,--and by success she meant that he might +pursue an unfaltering course. True to her temperament, she did not look +for the downfall of the forces opposed to him. She beheld him +persecuted, yet unyielding, and was thus lifted to an exaltation that +amazed. . . If he could do it, such a struggle must sorely have an +ultimate meaning! Thus she found herself, trembling, on the borderland +of faith. . . + +She arose, bewildered, her pulses beating. And presently glancing about, +she took in that the church was fuller than she ever remembered having +seen it, and the palpitating suspense she felt seemed to pervade, as it +were, the very silence. With startling abruptness, the silence was +broken by the tones of the great organ that rolled and reverberated among +the arches; distant voices took up the processional; the white choir +filed past,--first the treble voices of the boys, then the deeper notes +of the--men,--turned and mounted the chancel steps, and then she saw +Hodder. Her pew being among the first, he passed very near her. Did he +know she would be there? The sternness of his profile told her nothing. +He seemed at that moment removed, set apart, consecrated--this was the +word that came to her, and yet she was keenly conscious of his presence. + +Tingling, she found herself repeating, inwardly, two, lines of the hymn + + "Lay hold on life, and it shall be + Thy joy and crown eternally." + +"Lay hold on life!" + +The service began,--the well-remembered, beautiful appeal and prayers +which she could still repeat, after a lapse of time, almost by heart; and +their music and rhythm, the simple yet magnificent language in which. +they were clothed--her own language--awoke this morning a racial instinct +strong in her,--she had not known how strong. Or was it something in +Hodder's voice that seemed to illumine the ancient words with a new +meaning? Raising her eyes to the chancel she studied his head, and found +in it still another expression of that race, the history of which had +been one of protest, of development of its own character and personality. +Her mind went back to her first talk with him, in the garden, and she saw +how her intuition had recognized in him then the spirit of a people +striving to assert itself. + +She stood with tightened lips, during the Apostles' Creed, listening to +his voice as it rose, strong and unfaltering, above the murmur of the +congregation. + +At last she saw him swiftly crossing the chancel, mounting the pulpit +steps, and he towered above her, a dominant figure, his white surplice +sharply outlined against the dark stone of the pillar. The hymn died +away, the congregation sat down. There was a sound in the church, +expectant, presaging, like the stirring of leaves at the first breath of +wind, and then all was silent. + + + +II + +He had preached for an hour--longer, perhaps. Alison could not have said +how long. She had lost all sense of time. + +No sooner had the text been spoken, "Except a man be born again, he +cannot see the Kingdom of God," than she seemed to catch a fleeting +glimpse of an hitherto unimagined Personality. Hundreds of times she +had heard those words, and they had been as meaningless to her as to +Nicodemus. But now--now something was brought home to her of the +magnificent certainty with which they must first have been spoken, +of the tone and bearing and authority of him who had uttered them. +Was Christ like that? And could it be a Truth, after all, a truth +only to be grasped by one who had experienced it? + +It was in vain that man had tried to evade this, the supreme revelation +of Jesus Christ, had sought to substitute ceremonies and sacrifices for +spiritual rebirth. It was in vain that the Church herself had, from time +to time, been inclined to compromise. St. Paul, once the strict Pharisee +who had laboured for the religion of works, himself had been reborn into +the religion of the Spirit. It was Paul who had liberated that message +of rebirth, which the world has been so long in grasping, from the narrow +bounds of Palestine and sent it ringing down the ages to the democracies +of the twentieth century. + +And even Paul, though not consciously inconsistent, could not rid himself +completely of that ancient, automatic, conception of religion which the +Master condemned, but had on occasions attempted fruitlessly to unite the +new with the old. And thus, for a long time, Christianity had been +wrongly conceived as history, beginning with what to Paul and the Jews +was an historical event, the allegory of the Garden of Eden, the fall of +Adam, and ending with the Jewish conception of the Atonement. This was a +rationalistic and not a spiritual religion. + +The miracle was not the vision, whatever its nature, which Saul beheld on +the road to Damascus. The miracle was the result of that vision, the man +reborn. Saul, the persecutor of Christians, become Paul, who spent the +rest of his days, in spite of persecution and bodily infirmities, +journeying tirelessly up and down the Roman Empire, preaching the risen +Christ, and labouring more abundantly than they all! There was no +miracle in the New Testament more wonderful than this. + +The risen Christ! Let us not trouble ourselves about the psychological +problems involved, problems which the first century interpreted in its +own simple way. Modern, science has taught us this much, at least, +that we have by no means fathomed the limits even of a transcendent +personality. If proofs of the Resurrection and Ascension were demanded, +let them be spiritual proofs, and there could be none more convincing +than the life of the transformed Saul, who had given to the modern, +western world the message of salvation . . . . + +That afternoon, as Alison sat motionless on a distant hillside of the +Park, gazing across the tree-dotted, rolling country to the westward, she +recalled the breathless silence in the church when he had reached this +point and paused, looking down at the congregation. By the subtle +transmission of thought, of feeling which is characteristic at dramatic +moments of bodies of people, she knew that he had already contrived to +stir them to the quick. It was not so much that these opening words +might have been startling to the strictly orthodox, but the added fact +that Hodder had uttered them. The sensation in the pews, as Alison +interpreted it and exulted over it, was one of bewildered amazement that +this was their rector, the same man who had preached to them in June. +Like Paul, of whom he spoke, he too was transformed, had come to his own, +radiating a new power that seemed to shine in his face. + +Still agitated, she considered that discourse now in her solitude, what +it meant for him, for her, for the Church and civilization that a +clergyman should have had the courage to preach it. He himself had +seemed unconscious of any courage; had never once--she recalled--been +sensational. He had spoken simply, even in the intensest moments of +denunciation. And she wondered now how he had managed, without stripping +himself, without baring the intimate, sacred experiences of his own soul, +to convey to them, so nobly, the change which had taken place in him.... + +He began by referring to the hope with which he had come to St. John's, +and the gradual realization that the church was a failure--a dismal +failure when compared to the high ideal of her Master. By her fruits she +should be known and judged. From the first he had contemplated, with a +heavy heart, the sin and misery at their very gates. Not three blocks +distant children were learning vice in the streets, little boys of seven +and eight, underfed and anaemic, were driven out before dawn to sell +newspapers, little girls thrust forth to haunt the saloons and beg, while +their own children were warmed and fed. While their own daughters were +guarded, young women in Dayton Street were forced to sell themselves into +a life which meant slow torture, inevitable early death. Hopeless +husbands and wives were cast up like driftwood by the cruel, resistless +flood of modern civilization--the very civilization which yielded their +wealth and luxury. The civilization which professed the Spirit of +Christ, and yet was pitiless. + +He confessed to them that for a long time he had been blind to the truth, +had taken the inherited, unchristian view that the disease which caused +vice and poverty might not be cured, though its ulcers might be +alleviated. He had not, indeed, clearly perceived and recognized the +disease. He had regarded Dalton Street in a very special sense as a +reproach to St. John's, but now he saw that all such neighbourhoods were +in reality a reproach to the city, to the state, to the nation. True +Christianity and Democracy were identical, and the congregation of St. +John's, as professed Christians and citizens, were doubly responsible, +inasmuch as they not only made no protest or attempt to change a +government which permitted the Dalton Streets to exist, but inasmuch also +as,--directly or indirectly,--they derived a profit from conditions which +were an abomination to God. It would be but an idle mockery for them to +go and build a settlement house, if they did not first reform their +lives. + +Here there had been a decided stir among the pews. Hodder had not seemed +to notice it. + +When he, their rector, had gone to Dalton Street to invite the poor and +wretched into God's Church, he was met by the scornful question: "Are the +Christians of the churches any better than we? Christians own the grim +tenements in which we live, the saloons and brothels by which we are +surrounded, which devour our children. Christians own the establishments +which pay us starvation wages; profit by politics, and take toll from our +very vice; evade the laws and reap millions, while we are sent to jail. +Is their God a God who will lift us out of our misery and distress? Are +their churches for the poor? Are not the very pews in which they sit as +closed to us as their houses?" + +"I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot. I would thou wert +cold or hot." + +One inevitable conclusion of such a revelation was that he had not +preached to them the vital element of Christianity. And the very fact +that his presentation of religion had left many indifferent or +dissatisfied was proof-positive that he had dwelt upon non-essentials, +laid emphasis upon the mistaken interpretations of past ages. There +were those within the Church who were content with this, who--like the +Pharisees of old--welcomed a religion which did not interfere with their +complacency, with their pursuit of pleasure and wealth, with their +special privileges; welcomed a Church which didn't raise her voice +against the manner of their lives--against the order, the Golden Calf +which they had set up, which did not accuse them of deliberately +retarding the coming of the Kingdom of God. + +Ah, that religion was not religion, for religion was a spiritual, +not a material affair. In that religion, vainly designed by man as a +compromise between God and Mammon, there was none of the divine +discontent of the true religion of the Spirit, no need of the rebirth of +the soul. And those who held it might well demand, with Nicodemus and +the rulers of the earth, "How can these things be?" + +And there were others who still lingered in the Church, perplexed and +wistful, who had come to him and confessed that the so-called catholic +acceptance of divine truths, on which he had hitherto dwelt, meant +nothing to them. To these, in particular, he owed a special reparation, +and he took this occasion to announce a series of Sunday evening sermons +on the Creeds. So long as the Creeds remained in the Prayer Book it was +his duty to interpret them in terms not only of modern thought, but in +harmony with the real significance of the Person and message of Jesus +Christ. Those who had come to him questioning, he declared, were a +thousand times right in refusing to accept the interpretations of other +men, the consensus of opinion of more ignorant ages, expressed in an +ancient science and an archaic philosophy. + +And what should be said of the vast and ever increasing numbers of those +not connected with the Church, who had left it or were leaving it? and of +the less fortunate to whose bodily wants they had been ministering in the +parish house, for whom it had no spiritual message, and who never entered +its doors? The necessity of religion, of getting in touch with, of +dependence on the Spirit of the Universe was inherent in man, and yet +there were thousands--nay, millions in the nation to-day in whose hearts +was an intense and unsatisfied yearning, who perceived no meaning in +life, no Cause for which to work, who did not know what Christianity was, +who had never known what it was, who wist not where to turn to find out. +Education had brought many of them to discern, in the Church's teachings, +an anachronistic medley of myths and legends, of theories of schoolmen +and theologians, of surviving pagan superstitions which could not be +translated into life. They saw, in Christianity, only the adulterations +of the centuries. If any one needed a proof of the yearning people felt, +let him go to the bookshops, or read in the publishers' lists to-day the +announcements of books on religion. There was no supply where there was +no demand. + +Truth might no longer be identified with Tradition, and the day was past +when councils and synods might determine it for all mankind. The era of +forced acceptance of philosophical doctrines and dogmas was past, and +that of freedom, of spiritual rebirth, of vicarious suffering, of willing +sacrifice and service for a Cause was upon them. That cause was +Democracy. Christ was uniquely the Son of God because he had lived and +suffered and died in order to reveal to the world the meaning of this +life and of the hereafter--the meaning not only for the individual, but +for society as well. Nothing might be added to or subtracted from that +message--it was complete. + +True faith was simply trusting--trusting that Christ gave to the world +the revelation of God's plan. And the Saviour himself had pointed out +the proof: "If any man do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, +whether it be of God, or whether I speak for myself." Christ had +repeatedly rebuked those literal minds which had demanded material +evidence: true faith spurned it, just as true friendship, true love +between man and man, true trust scorned a written bond. To paraphrase +St. James's words, faith without trust is dead--because faith without +trust is impossible. God is a Spirit, only to be recognized in the +Spirit, and every one of the Saviour's utterances were--not of the flesh, +of the man--but of the Spirit within him. "He that hath seen me hath +seen the Father; "and "Why callest thou me good? none is good save one, +that is, God." The Spirit, the Universal Meaning of Life, incarnate in +the human Jesus. + +To be born again was to overcome our spiritual blindness, and then, +and then only, we might behold the spirit shining in the soul of Christ. +That proof had sufficed for Mark, had sufficed for the writer of the +sublime Fourth Gospel, had sufficed for Paul. Let us lift this wondrous +fact, once and for all, out of the ecclesiastical setting and incorporate +it into our lives. Nor need the hearts of those who seek the Truth, who +fear not to face it, be troubled if they be satisfied, from the Gospels, +that the birth of Jesus was not miraculous. The physical never could +prove the spiritual, which was the real and everlasting, which no +discovery in science or history can take from us. The Godship of Christ +rested upon no dogma, it was a conviction born into us with the new +birth. And it becomes an integral part of our personality, our very +being. + +The secret, then, lay in a presentation of the divine message which would +convince and transform and electrify those who heard it to action--a +presentation of the message in terms which the age could grasp. That is +what Paul had done, he had drawn his figures boldly from the customs of +the life of his day, but a more or less intimate knowledge of these +ancient customs were necessary before modern men and women could +understand those figures and parallels. And the Church must awake +to her opportunities, to her perception of the Cause. . . . + +What, then, was the function, the mission of the Church Universal? Once +she had laid claim to temporal power, believed herself to be the sole +agency of God on earth, had spoken ex cathedra on philosophy, history, +theology, and science, had undertaken to confer eternal bliss and to damn +forever. Her members, and even her priests, had gone from murder to +mass and from mass to murder, and she had engaged in cruel wars and +persecutions to curtail the liberties of mankind. Under that conception +religion was a form of insurance of the soul. Perhaps a common, +universal belief had been necessary in the dark ages before the sublime +idea of education for the masses had come; but the Church herself-- +through ignorance--had opposed the growth of education, had set her +face sternly against the development of the individual, which Christ had +taught, the privilege of man to use the faculties of the intellect which +God had bestowed upon him. He himself, their rector, had advocated a +catholic acceptance, though much modified from the mediaeval acceptance, +--one that professed to go behind it to an earlier age. Yes, he must +admit with shame that he had been afraid to trust where God trusted, had +feared to confide the working out of the ultimate Truth of the minds of +the millions. + +The Church had been monarchical in form, and some strove stubbornly +and blindly to keep her monarchical. Democracy in government was +outstripping her. Let them look around, to-day, and see what was +happening in the United States of America. A great movement was going on +to transfer actual participation in government from the few to the many, +--a movement towards true Democracy, and that was precisely what was +about to happen in the Church. Her condition at present was one of +uncertainty, transition--she feared to let go wholly of the old, she +feared to embark upon the new. Just as the conservatives and politicians +feared to give up the representative system, the convention, so was she +afraid to abandon the synod, the council, and trust to man. + +The light was coming slowly, the change, the rebirth of the Church by +gradual evolution. By the grace of God those who had laid the +foundations of the Church in which he stood, of all Protestantism, had +built for the future. The racial instinct in them had asserted itself, +had warned them that to suppress freedom in religion were to suppress it +in life, to paralyze that individual initiative which was the secret of +their advancement. + +The new Church Universal, then, would be the militant, aggressive body of +the reborn, whose mission it was to send out into the life of the nation +transformed men and women who would labour unremittingly for the Kingdom +of God. Unity would come--but unity in freedom, true Catholicity. The +truth would gradually pervade the masses--be wrought out by them. Even +the great evolutionary forces of the age, such as economic necessity, +were acting to drive divided Christianity into consolidation, and the +starving churches of country villages were now beginning to combine. + +No man might venture to predict the details of the future organization of +the united Church, although St. Paul himself had sketched it in broad +outline: every worker, lay and clerical, labouring according to his gift, +teachers, executives, ministers, visitors, missionaries, healers of sick +and despondent souls. But the supreme function of the Church was to +inspire--to inspire individuals to willing service for the cause, the +Cause of Democracy, the fellowship of mankind. If she failed to inspire, +the Church would wither and perish. And therefore she must revive again +the race of inspirers, prophets, modern Apostles to whom this gift was +given, going on their rounds, awaking cities and arousing whole country- +sides. + +But whence--it might be demanded by the cynical were the prophets to +come? Prophets could not be produced by training and education; prophets +must be born. Reborn,--that was the word. Let the Church have faith. +Once her Cause were perceived, once her whole energy were directed +towards its fulfilment, the prophets would arise, out of the East and out +of the West, to stir mankind to higher effort, to denounce fearlessly the +shortcomings and evils of the age. They had not failed in past ages, +when the world had fallen into hopelessness, indifference, and darkness. +And they would not fail now. + +Prophets were personalities, and Phillips Brooks himself a prophet--had +defined personality as a conscious relationship with God. "All truth," +he had said, "comes to the world through personality." And down the ages +had come an Apostolic Succession of personalities. Paul, Augustine, +Francis, Dante, Luther, Milton,--yes, and Abraham Lincoln, and Phillips +Brooks, whose Authority was that of the Spirit, whose light had so shone +before men that they had glorified the Father which was in heaven; the +current of whose Power had so radiated, in ever widening circles, as to +make incandescent countless other souls. + +And which among them would declare that Abraham Lincoln, like Stephen, +had not seen his Master in the sky? + +The true prophet, the true apostle, then, was one inspired and directed +by the Spirit, the laying on of hands was but a symbol,--the symbol of +the sublime truth that one personality caught fire from another. Let the +Church hold fast to that symbol, as an acknowledgment, a reminder of a +supreme mystery. Tradition had its value when it did not deteriorate +into superstition, into the mechanical, automatic transmission +characteristic of the mediaeval Church, for the very suggestion of which +Peter had rebuked Simon in Samaria. For it would be remembered that +Simon had said: "Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, +he may receive the Holy Ghost." + +The true successor to the Apostles must be an Apostle himself. + +Jesus had seldom spoken literally, and the truths he sought to impress +upon the world had of necessity been clothed in figures and symbols,--for +spiritual truths might be conveyed in no other way. The supreme proof of +his Godship, of his complete knowledge of the meaning of life was to be +found in his parables. To the literal, material mind, for example, the +parable of the talents was merely an unintelligible case of injustice.... +What was meant by the talents? They were opportunities for service. +Experience taught us that when we embraced one opportunity, one +responsibility, the acceptance of it invariably led to another, and so +the servant who had five talents, five opportunities, gained ten. The +servant who had two gained two more. But the servant of whom only one +little service was asked refused that, and was cast into outer darkness, +to witness another performing the task which should have been his. Hell, +here and hereafter, was the spectacle of wasted opportunity, and there is +no suffering to compare to it. + +The crime, the cardinal sin was with those who refused to serve, who shut +their eyes to the ideal their Lord had held up, who strove to compromise +with Jesus Christ himself, to twist and torture his message to suit their +own notions as to how life should be led; to please God and Mammon at the +same time, to bind Christ's Church for their comfort and selfish +convenience. Of them it was written, that they shut up the Kingdom of +Heaven against men; for they neither go in themselves, neither suffer +them that are entering to go in. Were these any better than the people +who had crucified the Lord for his idealism, and because he had not +brought them the material Kingdom for which they longed? + +That servant who had feared to act, who had hid his talent in the ground, +who had said unto his lord, "I knew thee that thou art an hard man, +reaping where thou hadst not sown," was the man without faith, the +atheist who sees only cruelty and indifference in the order of things, +who has no spiritual sight. But to the other servants it was said, "Thou +halt been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many +things. Enter thou into the joy of thy lord." + +The meaning of life, then, was service, and by life our Lord did not mean +mere human existence, which is only a part of life. The Kingdom of +heaven is a state, and may begin here. And that which we saw around us +was only one expression of that eternal life--a medium to work through, +towards God. All was service, both here and hereafter, and he that had +not discovered that the joy of service was the only happiness worth +living for could have no conception of the Kingdom. To those who knew, +there was no happiness like being able to say, "I have found my place in +God's plan, I am of use." Such was salvation . . . . + +And in the parable of the Prodigal Son may be read the history of what +are known as the Protestant nations. What happens logically when the +individual is suddenly freed from the restraint of external authority +occurred when Martin Luther released the vital spark of Christianity, +which he got from Paul, and from Christ himself--the revelation of +individual responsibility, that God the Spirit would dwell, by grace, in +the individual soul. Ah, we had paid a terrible yet necessary price for +freedom. We had wandered far from the Father, we had been reduced to +the very husks of individualism, become as swine. We beheld around us, +to-day, selfishness, ruthless competition, as great contrasts between +misery and luxury as in the days of the Roman Empire. But should we, for +that reason, return to the leading-strings of authority? Could we if we +would? A little thought ought to convince us that the liberation of the +individual could not be revoked, that it had forever destroyed the power +of authority to carry conviction. To go back to the Middle Ages would be +to deteriorate and degenerate. No, we must go on. . . . + +Luther's movement, in religion, had been the logical forerunner of +democracy, of universal suffrage in government, the death-knell of that +misinterpretation of Christianity as the bulwark of monarchy and +hierarchy had been sounded when he said, "Ich kann nicht anders!" The new +Republic founded on the western continent had announced to the world the +initiation of the transfer of Authority to the individual soul. God, the +counterpart of the King, the ruler in a high heaven of a flat terrestrial +expanse, outside of the world, was now become the Spirit of a million +spheres, the indwelling spirit in man. Democracy and the religion of +Jesus Christ both consisted in trusting the man--yes, and the woman--whom +God trusts. Christianity was individualism carried beyond philosophy +into religion, and the Christian, the ideal citizen of the democracy, was +free since he served not because he had to, but because he desired to of +his own will, which, paradoxically, is God's will. God was in politics, +to the confusion of politicians; God in government. And in some greater +and higher sense than we had yet perceived, the saying 'vox populi vox +dei' was eternally true. He entered into the hearts of people and moved +them, and so the world progressed. It was the function of the Church to +make Christians, until--when the Kingdom of God should come--the blending +should be complete. Then Church and State would be identical, since all +the members of the one would be the citizens of the other . . . . + +"I will arise and go to my father." Rebirth! A sense of responsibility, +of consecration. So we had come painfully through our materialistic +individualism, through our selfish Protestantism, to a glimpse of the +true Protestantism--Democracy. + +Our spiritual vision was glowing clearer. We were beginning to perceive +that charity did not consist in dispensing largesse after making a +fortune at the expense of one's fellow-men; that there was something +still wrong in a government that permits it. It was gradually becoming +plain to us, after two thousand years, that human bodies and souls +rotting in tenements were more valuable than all the forests on all the +hills; that government, Christian government, had something to do with +these. + +We should embody, in government, those sublime words of the Master, +"Suffer little children to come unto me." And the government of the +future would care for the little children. We were beginning to do it. +Here, as elsewhere, Christianity and reason went hand in hand, for the +child became the man who either preyed on humanity and filled the prisons +and robbed his fellows, or else grew into a useful, healthy citizen. It +was nothing less than sheer folly as well as inhuman cruelty to let the +children sleep in crowded, hot rooms, reeking with diseases, and run wild +throughout the long summer, learning vice in the city streets. And we +still had slavery--economic slavery--yes, and the more horrible slavery +of women and young girls in vice--as much a concern of government as the +problem which had confronted it in 1861 . . . . We were learning that +there was something infinitely more sacred than property . . . . + +And now Alison recalled, only to be thrilled again by an electric +sensation she had never before experienced with such intensity, the look +of inspiration on the preacher's face as he closed. The very mists of +the future seemed to break before his importuning gaze, and his eyes +seemed indeed to behold, against the whitening dawn of the spiritual age +he predicted, the slender spires of a new Church sprung from the +foundations of the old. A Church, truly catholic, tolerant, whose +portals were wide in welcome to all mankind. The creative impulse, +he had declared, was invariably religious, the highest art but the +expression of the mute yearnings of a people, of a race. Thus had once +arisen, all over Europe, those wonderful cathedrals which still cast +their spell upon the world, and art to-day would respond--was responding +--to the unutterable cravings of mankind, would strive once more to +express in stone and glass and pigment what nations felt. Generation +after generation would labour with unflagging zeal until the art +sculptured fragment of the new Cathedral--the new Cathedral of Democracy +--pointed upward toward the blue vault of heaven. Such was his vision-- +God the Spirit, through man reborn, carrying out his great Design . . . + + + + +CHAPTER XXII + +"WHICH SAY TO THE SEERS, SEE NOT" + + +I + +As Alison arose from her knees and made her way out of the pew, it was +the expression on Charlotte Plimpton's face which brought her back once +more to a sense of her surroundings; struck her, indeed, like a physical +blow. The expression was a scandalized one. Mrs. Plimpton had moved +towards her, as if to speak, but Alison hurried past, her exaltation +suddenly shattered, replaced by a rising tide of resentment, of angry +amazement against a materialism so solid as to remain unshaken by the +words which had so uplifted her. Eddies were forming in the aisle as +the people streamed slowly out of the church, and snatches of their +conversation, in undertones, reached her ears. + +"I should never have believed it!" + +"Mr. Hodder, of all men. . ." + +"The bishop!" + +Outside the swinging doors, in the vestibule, the voices were raised a +little, and she found her path blocked. + +"It's incredible!" she heard Gordon Atterbury saying to little Everett +Constable, who was listening gloomily. + +"Sheer Unitarianism, socialism, heresy." + +His attention was forcibly arrested by Alison, in whose cheeks bright +spots of colour burned. He stepped aside, involuntarily, apologetically, +as though he had instinctively read in her attitude an unaccountable +disdain. Everett Constable bowed uncertainly, for Alison scarcely +noticed them. + +"Ahem!" said Gordon, nervously, abandoning his former companion and +joining her, "I was just saying, it's incredible--" + +She turned on him. + +"It is incredible," she cried, "that persons who call themselves +Christians cannot recognize their religion when they hear it preached." + +He gave back before her, visibly, in an astonishment which would have +been ludicrous but for her anger. He had never understood her--such +had been for him her greatest fascination;--and now she was less +comprehensible than ever. The time had been when he would cheerfully +have given over his hope of salvation to have been able to stir her. +He had never seen her stirred, and the sight of her even now in this +condition was uncomfortably agitating. Of all things, an heretical +sermon would appear to have accomplished this miracle! + +"Christianity!" he stammered. + +"Yes, Christianity." Her voice tingled. "I don't pretend to know much +about it, but Mr. Hodder has at least made it plain that it is something +more than dead dogmas, ceremonies, and superstitions." + +He would have said something, but her one thought was to escape, to be +alone. These friends of her childhood were at that moment so distasteful +as to have become hateful. Some one laid a hand upon her arm. + +"Can't we take you home, Alison? I don't see your motor." + +It was Mrs. Constable. + +"No, thanks--I'm going to walk," Alison answered, yet something in Mrs. +Constable's face, in Mrs. Constable's voice, made her pause. Something +new, something oddly sympathetic. Their eyes met, and Alison saw that +the other woman's were tired, almost haggard--yet understanding. + +"Mr. Hodder was right--a thousand times right, my dear," she said. + +Alison could only stare at her, and the crimson in the bright spots of +her cheeks spread over her face. Why had Mrs. Constable supposed that +she would care to hear the sermon praised? But a second glance put her +in possession of the extraordinary fact that Mrs. Constable herself was +profoundly moved. + +"I knew he would change," she went on, "I have seen for some time that he +was too big a man not to change. But I had no conception that he would +have such power, and such courage, as he has shown this morning. It is +not only that he dared to tell us what we were--smaller men might have +done that, and it is comparatively easy to denounce. But he has the +vision to construct, he is a seer himself--he has really made me see +what Christianity is. And as long as I live I shall never forget +those closing sentences." + +"And now?" asked Alison. "And now what will happen?" + +Mrs. Constable changed colour. Her tact, on which she prided herself, +had deserted her in a moment of unlooked-for emotion. + +"Oh, I know that my father and the others will try to put him out--but +can they?" Alison asked. + +It was Mrs. Constable's turn to stare. The head she suddenly and +impulsively put forth trembled on Alison's wrist. + +"I don't know, Alison--I'm afraid they can. It is too terrible to think +about. . . . And they can't--they won't believe that many changes are +coming, that this is but one of many signs. . . Do come and see me." + +Alison left her, marvelling at the passage between them, and that, of all +persons in the congregation of St. John's, the lightning should have +struck Mrs. Constable. . . + +Turning to the right on Burton Street, she soon found herself walking +rapidly westward through deserted streets lined by factories and +warehouses, and silent in the Sabbath calm . . . . She thought of +Hodder, she would have liked to go to him in that hour . . . . + +In Park Street, luncheon was half over, and Nelson Langmaid was at the +table with her father. The lawyer glanced at her curiously as she +entered the room, and his usual word of banter, she thought, was rather +lame. The two went on, for some time, discussing a railroad suit in +Texas. And Alison, as she hurried through her meal, leaving the dishes +almost untouched, scarcely heard them. Once, in her reverie, her +thoughts reverted to another Sunday when Hodder had sat, an honoured +guest, in the chair which Mr. Langmaid now occupied . . . . + +It was not until they got up from the table that her father turned to +her. + +"Did you have a good sermon? " he asked. + +It was the underlying note of challenge to which she responded. + +"The only good sermon I have ever heard." + +Their eyes met. Langmaid looked down at the tip of his cigar. + +"Mr. Hodder," said Eldon Parr, "is to be congratulated." + + + + +II + +Hodder, when the service was over, had sought the familiar recess in the +robing-room, the words which he himself had spoken still ringing in his +ears. And then he recalled the desperate prayer with which he had +entered the pulpit, that it might be given him in that hour what to say: +the vivid memories of the passions and miseries in Dalton Street, the +sudden, hot response of indignation at the complacency confronting him. +His voice had trembled with anger . . . . He remembered, as he had +paused in his denunciation of these who had eyes and saw not, meeting the +upturned look of Alison Parr, and his anger had turned to pity for their +blindness--which once had been his own; and he had gone on and on, +striving to interpret for them his new revelation of the message of the +Saviour, to impress upon them the dreadful yet sublime meaning of life +eternal. And it was in that moment the vision of the meaning of the +evolution of his race, of the Prodigal turning to responsibility--of +which he once had had a glimpse--had risen before his eyes in its +completeness--the guiding hand of God in history! The Spirit in these +complacent souls, as yet unstirred . . . . + +So complete, now, was his forgetfulness of self, of his future, of the +irrevocable consequences of the step he had taken, that it was only +gradually he became aware that some one was standing near him, and +with a start he recognized McCrae. + +"There are some waiting to speak to ye," his assistant said. + +"Oh!" Hodder exclaimed. He began, mechanically, to divest himself of his +surplice. McCrae stood by. + +"I'd like to say a word, first--if ye don't mind--" he began. + +The rector looked at him quickly. + +"I'd like just to thank ye for that sermon--I can say no more now," said +McCrae; he turned away, and left the room abruptly. + +This characteristic tribute from the inarticulate, loyal Scotchman left +him tingling . . . . He made his way to the door and saw the people +in the choir room, standing silently, in groups, looking toward him. +Some one spoke to him, and he recognized Eleanor Goodrich. + +"We couldn't help coming, Mr. Hodder--just to tell you how much we admire +you. It was wonderful, what you said." + +He grew hot with gratitude, with thankfulness that there were some who +understood--and that this woman was among them, and her husband . . . +Phil Goodrich took him by the hand. + +"I can understand that kind of religion," he said. "And, if necessary, +I can fight for it. I have come to enlist." + +"And I can understand it, too," added the sunburned Evelyn. "I hope you +will let me help." + +That was all they said, but Hodder understood. Eleanor Goodrich's eyes +were dimmed as she smiled an her sister and her husband--a smile that +bespoke the purest quality of pride. And it was then, as they made way +for others, that the full value of their allegiance was borne in upon +him, and he grasped the fact that the intangible barrier which had +separated him from them had at last been broken down: His look followed +the square shoulders and aggressive, close-cropped head of Phil Goodrich, +the firm, athletic figure of Evelyn, who had represented to him an entire +class of modern young women, vigorous, athletic, with a scorn of cant in +which he secretly sympathized, hitherto frankly untouched by spiritual +interests of any sort. She had, indeed, once bluntly told him that +church meant nothing to her . . . . + +In that little company gathered in the choir room were certain members of +his congregation whom, had he taken thought, he would least have expected +to see. There were Mr. and Mrs. Bradley, an elderly couple who had +attended St. John's for thirty years; and others of the same +unpretentious element of his parish who were finding in modern life an +increasingly difficult and bewildering problem. There was little Miss +Tallant, an assiduous guild worker whom he had thought the most orthodox +of persons; Miss Ramsay, who taught the children of the Italian mothers; +Mr. Carton, the organist, a professed free-thinker, with whom Hodder had +had many a futile argument; and Martha Preston, who told him that he had +made her think about religion seriously for the first time in her life. + +And there were others, types equally diverse. Young men of the choir, +and others whom he had never seen, who informed him shyly that they would +come again, and bring their friends . . . . + +And all the while, in the background, Hodder had been aware of a familiar +face--Horace Bentley's. Beside him, when at length he drew near, was his +friend Asa Waring--a strangely contrasted type. The uncompromising eyes +of a born leader of men flashed from beneath the heavy white eyebrows, +the button of the Legion of Honour gleaming in his well-kept coat seemed +emblematic of the fire which in his youth had driven him forth to fight +for the honour of his country--a fire still undimmed. It was he who +spoke first. + +"This is a day I never expected to see, Mr. Hodder," he said, "for it has +brought back to this church the man to whom it owes its existence. Mr. +Bentley did more, by his labour and generosity, his true Christianity, +his charity and his wisdom, for St. John's than any other individual. +It is you who have brought him back, and I wish personally to express +my gratitude." + +Mr. Bentley, in mild reproof, laid his hand upon the t, shoulder of his +old friend. + +"Ah, Asa," he protested, "you shouldn't say such things." + +"Had it not been for Mr. Bentley," Hodder explained, "I should not be +here to-day." + +Asa Waring pierced the rector with his eye, appreciating the genuine +feeling with which these words were spoken. And yet his look contained +a question. + +"Mr. Bentley," Hodder added, "has been my teacher this summer." + +The old gentleman's hand trembled a little on the goldheaded stick. + +"It is a matter of more pride to me than I can express, sir, that you are +the rector of this church with which my most cherished memories are +associated," he said. "But I cannot take any part of the credit you give +me for the splendid vision which you have raised up before us to-day, for +your inspired interpretation of history, of the meaning of our own times. +You have moved me, you have given me more hope and courage than I have +had for many a long year--and I thank you, Mr. Hodder. I am sure that +God will prosper and guide you in what you have so nobly undertaken." + +Mr. Bentley turned away, walking towards the end of the room . . . . +Asa Waring broke the silence. + +"I didn't know that you knew him, that you had seen what he is doing-- +what he has done in this city. I cannot trust myself, Mr. Hodder, to +speak of Horace Bentley's life. . . I feel too strongly on the +subject. I have watched, year by year, this detestable spirit of greed, +this lust for money and power creeping over our country, corrupting our +people and institutions, and finally tainting the Church itself. You +have raised your voice against it, and I respect and honour and thank you +for it, the more because you have done it without resorting to sensation, +and apparently with no thought of yourself. And, incidentally, you have +explained the Christian religion to me as I have never had it explained +in my life. + +"I need not tell you you have made enemies--powerful ones. I can see +that you are a man, and that you are prepared for them. They will leave +no stone unturned, will neglect no means to put you out and disgrace you. +They will be about your ears to-morrow--this afternoon, perhaps. I need +not remind you that the outcome is doubtful. But I came here to assure +you of my friendship and support in all you hope to accomplish in making +the Church what it should be. In any event, what you have done to-day +will be productive of everlasting good." + +In a corner still lingered the group which Mr. Bentley had joined. And +Hodder, as he made his way towards it, recognized the faces of some of +those who composed it. Sally Grower was there, and the young women who +lived in Mr. Bentley's house, and others whose acquaintance he had made +during the summer. Mrs. Garvin had brought little Dicky, incredibly +changed from the wan little figure he had first beheld in the stifling +back room in Dalton Street; not yet robust, but freckled and tanned by +the country sun and wind. The child, whom he had seen constantly in the +interval, ran forward joyfully, and Hodder bent down to take his hand.... + +These were his friends, emblematic of the new relationship in which he +stood to mankind. And he owed them to Horace Bentley! He wondered, as +he greeted them, whether they knew what their allegiance meant to him in +this hour. But it sufficed that they claimed him as their own. + +Behind them all stood Kate Marcy. And it struck him for the first time, +as he gazed at her earnestly, how her appearance had changed. She gave +him a frightened, bewildered look, as though she were unable to identify +him now with the man she had known in the Dalton Street flat, in the +restaurant. She was still struggling, groping, wondering, striving to +accustom herself to the higher light of another world. + +"I wanted to come," she faltered. "Sally Grower brought me. . . " + +Hodder went back with them to Dalton Street. His new ministry had begun. +And on this, the first day of it, it was fitting that he should sit at +the table of Horace Bentley, even as on that other Sunday, two years +agone, he had gone to the home of the first layman of the diocese, +Eldon Parr. + + + +III + +The peace of God passes understanding because sorrow and joy are mingled +therein, sorrow and joy and striving. And thus the joy of emancipation +may be accompanied by a heavy heart. The next morning, when Hodder +entered his study, he sighed as his eye fell upon the unusual pile of +letters on his desk, for their writers had once been his friends. The +inevitable breach had come at last. + +Most of the letters, as he had anticipated, were painful reading. +And the silver paper-cutter with which he opened the first had been a +Christmas present from Mrs. Burlingame, who had penned it, a lady of +signal devotion to the church, who for many years had made it her task to +supply and arrange the flowers on the altar. He had amazed and wounded +her--she declared--inexpressibly, and she could no longer remain at St. +John's--for the present, at least. A significant addition. He dropped +the letter, and sat staring out of the window . . . presently arousing +himself, setting himself resolutely to the task of reading the rest. + +In the mood in which he found himself he did not atop to philosophize +on the rigid yet sincere attitude of the orthodox. His affection for +many of them curiously remained, though it was with some difficulty he +strove to reconstruct a state of mind with which he had once agreed. +If Christianity were to sweep on, these few unbending but faithful ones +must be sacrificed: such was the law. . . Many, while repudiating his +new beliefs--or unbeliefs!--added, to their regrets of the change in him, +protestations of a continued friendship, a conviction of his sincerity. +Others like Mrs. Atterbury, were frankly outraged and bitter. The +contents of one lilac-bordered envelope brought to his eyes a faint +smile. Did he know--asked the sender of this--could he know the +consternation he had caused in so many persons, including herself? +What was she to believe? And wouldn't he lunch with her on Thursday? + +Mrs. Ferguson's letter brought another smile--more thoughtful. +Her incoherent phrases had sprung from the heart, and the picture rose +before him of the stout but frightened, good-natured lady who had never +accustomed herself to the enjoyment of wealth and luxury. Mr. Ferguson +was in such a state, and he must please not tell her husband that she had +written. Yet much in his sermon had struck her as so true. It seemed +wrong to her to have so much, and others so little! And he had made her +remember many things in her early life she had forgotten. She hoped he +would see Mr. Ferguson, and talk to him. . . . + +Then there was Mrs. Constable's short note, that troubled and puzzled +him. This, too, had in it an undercurrent of fear, and the memory came +to him of the harrowing afternoon he had once spent with her, when she +would have seemed to have predicted the very thing which had now happened +to him. And yet not that thing. He divined instinctively that a maturer +thought on the subject of his sermon had brought on an uneasiness as the +full consequences of this new teaching had dawned upon her consequences +which she had not foreseen when she had foretold the change. And he +seemed to read between the lines that the renunciation he demanded was +too great. Would he not let her come and talk to him? . . . + +Miss Brewer, a lady of no inconsiderable property, was among those who +told him plainly that if he remained they would have to give up their +pews. Three or four communications were even more threatening. Mr. +Alpheus Gore, Mrs. Plimpton's brother, who at five and forty had managed +to triple his share of the Gore inheritance, wrote that it would be his +regretful duty to send to the bishop an Information on the subject of Mr. +Hodder's sermon. + +There were, indeed, a few letters which he laid, thankfully, in a pile by +themselves. These were mostly from certain humble members of his parish +who had not followed their impulses to go to him after the service, or +from strangers who had chanced to drop into the church. Some were +autobiographical, such as those of a trained nurse, a stenographer, +a hardware clerk who had sat up late Sunday night to summarize what that +sermon had meant to him, how a gray and hopeless existence had taken on a +new colour. Next Sunday he would bring a friend who lived in the same +boarding house . . . . Hodder read every word of these, and all were +in the same strain: at last they could perceive a meaning to religion, +an application of it to such plodding lives as theirs . . . . + +One or two had not understood, but had been stirred, and were coming to +talk to him. Another was filled with a venomous class hatred. . . . + +The first intimation he had of the writer of another letter seemed from +the senses rather than the intellect. A warm glow suffused him, mounted +to his temples as he stared at the words, turned over the sheet, and read +at the bottom the not very legible signature. The handwriting, by no +means classic, became then and there indelibly photographed on his brain, +and summed up for him the characteristics, the warring elements in Alison +Parr. "All afternoon," she wrote, "I have been thinking of your sermon. +It was to me very wonderful--it lifted me out of myself. And oh, I want +so much to believe unreservedly what you expressed so finely, that +religion is democracy, or the motive power behind democracy--the service +of humanity by the reborn. I understand it intellectually. I am willing +to work for such a Cause, but there is something in me so hard that I +wonder if it can dissolve. And then I am still unable to identify that +Cause with the Church as at present constituted, with the dogmas and +ceremonies that still exist. I am too thorough a radical to have your +patience. And I am filled with rage--I can think of no milder word--on +coming in contact with the living embodiments of that old creed, who hold +its dogmas so precious. "Which say to the seers, See not; and to the +prophets, Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, +prophesy deceits.' + +"You see, I have been reading Isaiah, and when I came to that paragraph +it seemed so appropriate. These people have always existed. And will +they not always continue to exist? I wish I could believe, wholly and +unreservedly, that this class, always preponderant in the world, could be +changed, diminished--done away with in a brighter future! I can, at +least, sympathize with Isaiah's wrath. + +"What you said of the longing, the yearning which exists to-day amongst +the inarticulate millions moved me most--and of the place of art in +religion, to express that yearning. Religion the motive power of art, +and art, too, service. 'Consider the lilies of the field.' You have made +it, at least, all-comprehensive, have given me a new point of view for +which I can never be sufficiently grateful--and at a time when I needed +it desperately. That you have dared to do what you have done has been +and will he an inspiration, not only to myself, but to many others. +This, is a longer letter, I believe, than I have ever written in my life. +But I wanted you to know." + +He reread it twice, pondering over its phrases. "A new point of view.... +at a time when I needed it desperately." It was not until then that he +realized the full intensity of his desire for some expression from her +since the moment he had caught sight of her in the church. But he had +not been prepared for the unreserve, the impulsiveness with which she had +actually written. Such was his agitation that he did not heed, at first, +a knock on the door, which was repeated. He thrust the letter inside his +coat as the janitor of the parish house appeared. + +"There is a gentleman to see you, sir, in the office," he said. + +Hodder went down the stairs. And he anticipated, from the light yet +nervous pacing that he heard on the bare floor, that the visitor was none +other than his vestryman, Mr. Gordon Atterbury. The sight of the +gentleman's spruce figure confirmed the guess. + +"Good morning, Mr. Atterbury," he said as he entered. + +Mr. Atterbury stopped in his steps, as if he had heard a shot. + +"Ah--good morning, Mr. Hodder. I stopped in on my way to the office." + +"Sit down," said the rector. + +Mr. Atterbury sat down, but with the air of a man who does so under +protest, who had not intended to. He was visibly filled and almost +quivering with an excitement which seemed to demand active expression, +and which the tall clergyman's physical calm and self-possession seemed +to augment. For a moment Mr. Atterbury stared at the rector as he sat +behind his desk. Then he cleared his throat. + +"I thought of writing to you, Mr. Hodder. My mother, I believe, has done +so. But it seemed to me, on second thought, better to come to you +direct." + +The rector nodded, without venturing to remark on the wisdom of the +course. + +"It occurred to me," Mr. Atterbury went on, "that possibly some things I +wish to discuss might--ahem be dispelled in a conversation. That I might +conceivably have misunderstood certain statements in your sermon of +yesterday." + +"I tried," said the rector, "to be as clear as possible." + +"I thought you might not fully have realized the effect of what you said. +I ought to tell you, I think, that as soon as I reached home I wrote out, +as accurately as I could from memory, the gist of your remarks. And I +must say frankly, although I try to put it mildly, that they appear to +contradict and controvert the doctrines of the Church." + +"Which doctrines?" Hodder asked. + +Gordon Atterbury sputtered. + +"Which doctrines?" he repeated. "Can it be possible that you +misunderstand me? I might refer you to those which you yourself preached +as late as last June, in a sermon which was one of the finest and most +scholarly efforts I ever heard." + +"It was on that day, Mr. Atterbury," replied the rector, with a touch of +sadness in his voice, "I made the discovery that fine and scholarly +efforts were not Christianity." + +"What do you mean?" Mr. Atterbury demanded. + +"I mean that they do not succeed in making Christians." + +"And by that you imply that the members of your congregation, those who +have been brought up and baptized and confirmed in this church, are not +Christians?" + +"I am sorry to say a great many of them are not," said the rector. + +"In other words, you affirm that the sacrament of baptism is of no +account." + +"I affirm that baptism with water is not sufficient." + +"I'm afraid that this is very grave," Mr. Hodder. + +"I quite agree with you," replied the rector, looking straight at his +vestryman. + +"And I understood,--" the other went on, clearing his throat once more, +"I think I have it correctly stated in my notes, but I wish to be quite +clear, that you denied the doctrine of the virgin birth." + +Hodder made a strong effort to control himself. + +"What I have said I have said," he answered, "and I have said it in the +hope that it might make some impression upon the lives of those to whom I +spoke. You were one of them, Mr. Atterbury. And if I repeat and amplify +my meaning now, it must be understood that I have no other object except +that of putting you in the way of seeing that the religion of Christ is +unique in that it is dependent upon no doctrine or dogma, upon no +external or material sign or proof or authority whatever. I am utterly +indifferent to any action you may contemplate taking concerning me. Read +your four Gospels carefully. If we do not arrive, through contemplation +of our Lord's sojourn on this earth, of his triumph over death, of his +message--which illuminates the meaning of our lives here--at that inner +spiritual conversion of which he continually speaks, and which alone will +give us charity, we are not Christians." + +"But the doctrines of the Church, which we were taught from childhood to +believe? The doctrines which you once professed, and of which you have +now made such an unlooked-for repudiation!" + +"Yes, I have changed," said the rector, gazing seriously at the twitching +figure of his vestryman, "I was bound, body and soul, by those very +doctrines." He roused himself. "But on what grounds do you declare, Mr. +Atterbury," he demanded, somewhat sternly, "that this church is fettered +by an ancient and dogmatic conception of Christianity? Where are you to +find what are called the doctrines of the Church? What may be heresy in +one diocese is not so in another, and I can refer to you volumes written +by ministers of this Church, in good standing, whose published opinions +are the same as those I expressed in my sermon of yesterday. The very +cornerstone of the Church is freedom, but many have yet to discover this, +and we have held in our Communion men of such divergent views as Dr. +Pusey and Phillips Brooks. Mr. Newman, in his Tract Ninety, which was +sincerely written, showed that the Thirty-nine Articles were capable of +almost any theological interpretation. From what authoritative source +are we to draw our doctrines? In the baptismal service the articles of +belief are stated to be in the Apostles' Creed, but nowhere--in this +Church is it defined how their ancient language is to be interpreted. +That is wisely left to the individual. Shall we interpret the Gospels by +the Creeds, which in turn purport to be interpretations of the Gospels? +Or shall we draw our conclusions as to what the Creeds may mean to us by +pondering on the life of Christ, and striving to do his will? +'The letter killeth, but the Spirit maketh alive.'" + +Hodder rose, and stood facing his visitor squarely. He spoke slowly, and +the fact that he made no gesture gave all the more force to his words. + +"Hereafter, Mr. Atterbury," he added, "so long as I am rector of this +church, I am going to do my best to carry out the spirit of Christ's +teaching--to make Christians. And there shall be no more compromise, +so far as I can help it." + +Gordon Atterbury had grown very pale. He, too, got to his feet. + +"I--I cannot trust myself to discuss this matter with you any further, Mr. +Hodder. I feel too deeply--too strongly on the subject. I do not +pretend to account for this astonishing transformation in your opinions. +Up to the present I have deemed St. John's fortunate--peculiarly +fortunate, in having you for its rector. I am bound to say I think you +have not considered, in this change of attitude on your part, those who +have made St. John's what it is, who through long and familiar +association are bound to it by a thousand ties,--those who, like myself, +have what may be called a family interest in this church. My father and +mother were married here, I was baptized here. I think I may go so far +as to add, Mr. Hodder, that this is our church, the church which a +certain group of people have built in which to worship God, as was their +right. Nor do I believe we can be reproached with a lack of hospitality +or charity. We maintain this parish house, with its clubs; and at no +small inconvenience to ourselves we have permitted the church to remain +in this district. There is no better church music in this city, and we +have a beautiful service in the evening at which, all pews are free. It +is not unreasonable that we should have something to say concerning the +doctrine to be preached here, that we should insist that that doctrine be +in accordance with what we have always believed was the true doctrine as +received by this Church." + +Up to this point Mr. Atterbury had had a feeling that he had not carried +out with much distinction the programme which he had so carefully +rehearsed on the way to the parish house. Hodder's poise had amazed and +baffled him--he had expected to find the rector on the defensive. But +now, burning anew with a sense of injustice, he had a sense at last of +putting his case strongly. + +The feeling of triumph, however, was short lived. Hodder did not reply +at once. So many seconds, indeed, went by that Mr. Atterbury began once +more to grow slightly nervous under the strange gaze to which he was +subjected. And when the clergyman' spoke there was no anger in his +voice, but a quality--a feeling which was disturbing, and difficult to +define. + +"You are dealing now, Mr. Atterbury," he said, "with the things of +Caesar, not of God. This church belongs to God--not to you. But you +have consecrated it to him. His truth, as Christ taught it, must not be +preached to suit any man's convenience. When you were young you were not +taught the truth--neither was I. It was mixed with adulterations which +obscured and almost neutralized it. But I intend to face it now, and to +preach it, and not the comfortable compromise which gives us the illusion +that we are Christians because we subscribe to certain tenets, and +permits us to neglect our Christian duties. + +"And since you have spoken of charity, let me assure you that there is no +such thing as charity without the transforming, personal touch. It isn't +the bread or instruction or amusement we give people vicariously, but the +effect of our gift--even if that gift be only a cup of cold water--in +illuminating and changing their lives. And it will avail any church +little to have a dozen settlement houses while her members acquiesce in +a State which refuses to relieve her citizens from sickness and poverty. +Charity bends down only to lift others up. And with all our works, our +expenditure and toil, how many have we lifted up?" + +Gordon Atterbury's indignation got the better of him. For he was the +last man to behold with patience the shattering of his idols. + +"I think you have cast an unwarranted reflection on those who have built +and made this church what it is, Mr. Hodder," he exclaimed. "And that +you will find there are in it many--a great many earnest Christians who +were greatly shocked by the words you spoke yesterday, who will not +tolerate any interference with their faith. I feel it my duty to speak +frankly, Mr Hodder, disagreeable though it be, in view of our former +relations. I must tell you that I am not alone in the opinion that you +should resign. It is the least you can do, in justice to us, in justice +to yourself. There are other bodies--I cannot call them churches--which +doubtless would welcome your liberal, and I must add atrophying, +interpretation of Christianity. And I trust that reflection will +convince you of the folly of pushing this matter to the extreme. We +should greatly deplore the sensational spectacle of St. John's being +involved in an ecclesiastical trial, the unpleasant notoriety into which +it would bring a church hitherto untouched by that sort of thing. And I +ought to tell you that I, among others, am about to send an Information +to the bishop." + +Gordon Atterbury hesitated a moment, but getting no reply save an +inclination of the head, took up his hat. + +"Ahem--I think that is all I have to say, Mr. Hodder. Good morning." + +Even then Hodder did not answer, but rose and held open the door. As he +made his exit under the strange scrutiny of the clergyman's gaze the +little vestryman was plainly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat once +more, halted, and then precipitately departed. + +Hodder went to the window and thoughtfully watched the hurrying figure +of Mr. Atterbury until it disappeared, almost skipping, around the corner +. . . . The germ of truth, throughout the centuries, had lost nothing +of its dynamic potentialities. If released and proclaimed it was still +powerful enough to drive the world to insensate anger and opposition.... + +As he stood there, lost in reflection, a shining automobile drew up at +the curb, and from it descended a firm lady in a tight-fitting suit whom +he recognized as Mrs Wallis Plimpton. A moment later she had invaded the +office--for no less a word may be employed to express her physical +aggressiveness, the glowing health which she radiated. + +"Good morning, Mr. Hodder," she said, seating herself in one of the +straight-backed chairs. "I have been so troubled since you preached that +sermon yesterday, I could scarcely sleep. And I made up my mind I'd come +to you the first thing this morning. Mr. Plimpton and I have been +discussing it. In fact, people are talking of nothing else. We dined +with the Laureston Greys last night, and they, too, were full of it." +Charlotte Plimpton looked at him, and the flow of her words suddenly +diminished. And she added, a little lamely for her, "Spiritual matters +in these days are so difficult, aren't they?" + +"Spiritual matters always were difficult, Mrs. Plimpton," he said. + +"I suppose so," she assented hurriedly, with what was intended for a +smile. "But what I came to ask you is this--what are we to teach our +children?" + +"Teach them the truth," the rector replied. + +"One of the things which troubled me most was your reference to modern +criticism," she went on, recovering her facility. "I was brought up to +believe that the Bible was true. The governess--Miss Standish, you know, +such a fine type of Englishwoman--reads the children Bible stories every +Sunday evening. They adore them, and little Wallis can repeat them +almost by heart--the pillar of cloud by day, Daniel in the lions' den, +and the Wise Men from the East. If they aren't true, some one ought to +have told us before now." + +A note of injury had crept into her voice. + +"How do you feel about these things yourself?" Holder inquired. + +"How do I feel? Why, I have never thought about them very much--they +were there, in the Bible!" + +"You were taught to believe them?" + +"Of course," she exclaimed, resenting what seemed a reflection on the +Gore orthodoxy. + +"Do they in any manner affect your conduct?" + +"My conduct?" she repeated. "I don't know what you mean. I was brought +up in the church, and Mr. Plimpton has always gone, and we are bringing +up the children to go. Is that what you mean?" + +"No," Hodder answered, patiently, "that is not what I mean. I ask +whether these stories in any way enter into your life, become part of +you, and tend to make you a more useful woman?" + +"Well--I have never considered them in that way," she replied, a little +perplexed. + +"Do you believe in them yourself?" + +"Why--I don't know,--I've never thought. I don't suppose I do, +absolutely--not in those I have mentioned." + +"And you think it right to teach things to your children which you do not +yourself believe?" + +"How am I to decide?" she demanded. + +"First by finding out yourself what you do believe," he replied, with a +touch of severity. + +"Mr. Hodder!" she cried in a scandalized voice, "do you mean to say that +I, who have been brought up in this church, do not know what Christianity +is." + +He looked at her and shook his head. + +"You must begin by being honest with yourself," he went on, not heeding +her shocked expression. "If you are really in earnest in this matter, +I should be glad to help you all I can. But I warn you there is no +achievement in the world more difficult than that of becoming a, +Christian. It means a conversion of your whole being something which you +cannot now even imagine. It means a consuming desire which,--I fear,--in +consideration of your present mode of life, will be difficult to +acquire." + +"My present mode of life!" she gasped. + +"Precisely," said the rector. He was silent, regarding, her. There was +discernible not the slightest crack of crevice in the enamel of this +woman's worldly armour. + +For the moment her outraged feelings were forgotten. The man had +fascinated her. To be told, in this authoritative manner, that she was +wicked was a new and delightful experience. It brought back to her the +real motive of her visit, which had in reality been inspired not only by +the sermon of the day before, but by sheer curiosity. + +"What would you have me do?" she demanded. + +"Find yourself." + +"Do you mean to say that I am not--myself?" she asked, now completely +bewildered. + +"I mean to say that you are nobody until you achieve conviction." + +For Charlotte Plimpton, nee Gore, to be told in her own city, by the +rector of her own church that she was nobody was an event hitherto +inconceivable! It was perhaps as extraordinary that she did not resent. +it. Curiosity still led her on. + +"Conviction?" she repeated. "But I have conviction, Mr. Hodder. I +believe in the doctrines of the Church." + +"Belief!" he exclaimed, and checked himself strongly. "Conviction +through feeling. Not until then will you find what you were put in the +world for." + +"But my husband--my children? I try to do my duty." + +"You must get a larger conception of it," Hodder replied. + +"I suppose you mean," she declared, "that I am to spend the rest of my +life in charity." + +"How you would spend the rest of your life would be revealed to you," +said the rector. + +It was the weariness in his tone that piqued her now, the intimation +that he did not believe in her sincerity--had not believed in it from +the first. The life-long vanity of a woman used to be treated with +consideration, to be taken seriously, was aroused. This extraordinary +man had refused to enter into the details which she inquisitively craved. + +Charlotte Plimpton rose. + +"I shall not bother you any longer at present, Mr. Hodder," she said +sweetly. "I know you must have, this morning especially, a great deal to +trouble you." + +He met her scrutiny calmly. + +"It is only the things we permit to trouble us that do so, Mrs. +Plimpton," he replied. "My own troubles have arisen largely from a lack +of faith on the part of those whom I feel it is my duty to influence." + +It was then she delivered her parting shot, which she repeated, with much +satisfaction, to her husband that evening. She had reached the door. +Was there a special service at Calvary yesterday?" she asked innocently, +turning back. + +"Not that I know of." + +"I wondered. Mr. Parr was there; I'm told--and he's never been known +to desert St. John's except on the rarest occasions. But oh, Mr. Hodder, +I must congratulate you on your influence with Alison. When she has been +out here before she never used to come to church at all." + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Church as a means of doling out ill-gotten gains to the poor +Hastened to deny, although it was exactly what she had meant +It is only the things we permit to trouble us that do so +Priests, had gone from murder to mass and from mass to murder +Religion was a form of insurance of the soul +She--had she grown? or merely wandered? +Subtlety in such affairs is not a masculine trait (love affairs) +Wasted opportunity +Without explanations + + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + +Volume 7. + +XXIII. THE CHOICE +XXIV. THE VESTRY MEETS +XXV. "RISE, CROWNED WITH LIGHT!" +XXVI. THE CURRENT OF LIFE + + + +CHAPTER XXIII + +THE CHOICE + + +I + +Pondering over Alison's note, he suddenly recalled and verified some +phrases which had struck him that summer on reading Harnack's celebrated +History of Dogma, and around these he framed his reply. "To act as if +faith in eternal life and in the living Christ was the simplest thing in +the world, or a dogma to which one has to submit, is irreligious. . . +It is Christian to pray that God would give the Spirit to make us strong +to overcome the feelings and the doubts of nature. . . Where this +faith, obtained in this way, exists, it has always been supported by the +conviction that the Man lives who brought life and immortality to light. +To hold fast this faith is the goal of life, for only what we consciously +strive for is in this matter our own. What we think we possess is very +soon lost." + +"The feelings and the doubts of nature!" The Divine Discontent, the +striving against the doubt that every honest soul experiences and admits. +Thus the contrast between her and these others who accepted and went +their several ways was brought home to him. + +He longed to talk to her, but his days were full. Yet the very thought +of her helped to bear him up as his trials, his problems accumulated; nor +would he at any time have exchanged them for the former false peace which +had been bought (he perceived more and more clearly) at the price of +compromise. + +The worst of these trials, perhaps, was a conspicuous article in a +newspaper containing a garbled account of his sermon and of the sensation +it had produced amongst his fashionable parishioners. He had refused to +see the reporter, but he had been made out a hero, a socialistic champion +of the poor. The black headlines were nauseating; and beside them, in +juxtaposition, were pen portraits of himself and of Eldon Parr. There +were rumours that the banker had left the church until the recalcitrant +rector should be driven out of it; the usual long list of Mr. Parr's +benefactions was included, and certain veiled paragraphs concerning his +financial operations. Mr. Ferguson, Mr. Plimpton, Mr. Constable, did not +escape,--although they, too, had refused to be interviewed . . . . + +The article brought to the parish house a bevy of reporters who had to be +fought off, and another batch of letters, many of them from ministers, in +approval or condemnation. + +His fellow-clergymen called, some to express sympathy and encouragement, +more of them to voice in person indignant and horrified protests. Dr. +Annesley of Calvary --a counterpart of whose rubicund face might have +been found in the Council of Trent or in mediaeval fish-markets- +pronounced his anathemas with his hands folded comfortably over his +stomach, but eventually threw to the winds every vestige of his +ecclesiastical dignity . . . . + +Then there came a note from the old bishop, who was traveling. A kindly +note, withal, if non-committal,--to the effect that he had received +certain communications, but that his physician would not permit him to +return for another ten days or so. He would then be glad to see Mr. +Holder and talk with him. + +What would the bishop do? Holder's relations with him had been more than +friendly, but whether the bishop's views were sufficiently liberal to +support him in the extreme stand he had taken he could not surmise. For +it meant that the bishop, too, must enter into a conflict with the first +layman of his diocese, of whose hospitality he had so often partaken, +whose contributions had been on so lordly a scale. The bishop was in his +seventieth year, and had hitherto successfully fought any attempt to +supply him with an assistant,--coadjutor or suffragan. + +At such times the fear grew upon Hodder that he might be recommended for +trial, forced to abandon his fight to free the Church from the fetters +that bound her: that the implacable hostility of his enemies would rob +him of his opportunity. + +Thus ties were broken, many hard things were said and brought to his +ears. There were vacancies in the classes and guilds, absences that +pained him, silences that wrung him. . . . + +Of all the conversations he held, that with Mrs. Constable was perhaps +the most illuminating and distressing. As on that other occasion, when +he had gone to her, this visit was under the seal of confession, unknown +to her husband. And Hodder had been taken aback, on seeing her enter his +office, by the very tragedy in her face--the tragedy he had momentarily +beheld once before. He drew up a chair for her, and when she had sat +down she gazed at him some moments without speaking. + +"I had to come," she said; "there are some things I feel I must ask you. +For I have been very miserable since I heard you on Sunday." + +He nodded gently. + +"I knew that you would change your views--become broader, greater. You +may remember that I predicted it." + +"Yes," he said. + +"I thought you would grow more liberal, less bigoted, if you will allow +me to say so. But I didn't anticipate--"she hesitated, and looked up at +him again. + +"That I would take the extreme position I have taken," he assisted her. + +"Oh, Mr. Hodder," she cried impulsively, "was it necessary to go so far? +and all at once. I am here not only because I am miserable, but I am +concerned on your account. You hurt me very much that day you came to +me, but you made me your friend. And I wonder if you really understand +the terrible, bitter feeling you have aroused, the powerful enemies you +have made by speaking so--so unreservedly?" + +"I was prepared for it," he answered. "Surely, Mrs. Constable, once I +have arrived at what I believe to be the truth, you would not have me +temporize?" + +She gave him a wan smile. + +"In one respect, at least, you have not changed," she told him. "I am +afraid you are not the temporizing kind. But wasn't there,--mayn't there +still be a way to deal with this fearful situation? You have made it +very hard for us--for them. You have given them no loophole of escape. +And there are many, like me, who do not wish to see your career ruined, +Mr. Hodder." + +"Would you prefer," he asked, "to see my soul destroyed? And your own?" + +Her lips twitched. + +"Isn't there any other way but that? Can't this transformation, which +you say is necessary and vital, come gradually? You carried me away as +I listened to you, I was not myself when I came out of the church. +But I have been thinking ever since. Consider my husband, Mr. Hodder," +her voice faltered. "I shall not mince matters with you--I know you will +not pretend to misunderstand me. I have never seen him so upset since +since that time Gertrude was married. He is in a most cruel position. +I confessed to you once that Mr. Parr had made for us all the money we +possess. Everett is fond of you, but if he espouses your cause, on the +vestry, we shall be ruined." + +Hodder was greatly moved. + +"It is not my cause, Mrs. Constable," he said. + +"Surely, Christianity is not so harsh and uncompromising as that! And do +you quite do justice to--to some of these men? There was no one to tell +them the wrongs they were committing--if they were indeed wrongs. Our +civilization is far from perfect." + +"The Church may have been remiss, mistaken," the rector replied. "But +the Christianity she has taught, adulterated though it were, has never +condoned the acts which have become commonplace in modern finance. There +must have been a time, in the life of every one of these men, when they +had to take that first step against which their consciences revolted, +when they realized that fraud and taking advantage of the ignorant and +weak were wrong. They have deliberately preferred gratification in this +life to spiritual development--if indeed they believe in any future +whatsoever. For 'whosoever will save his life shall lose it' is as true +to-day as it ever was. They have had their choice--they still have it." + +"I am to blame," she cried. "I drove my husband to it, I made him think +of riches, it was I who cultivated Mr. Parr. And oh, I suppose I am +justly punished. I have never been happy for one instant since that +day." + +He watched her, pityingly, as she wept. But presently she raised her +face, wonderingly. + +"You do believe in the future life after--after what you have been +through?" + +"I do," he answered simply. + +"Yes--I am sure you do. It is that, what you are, convinces me you do. +Even the remarkable and sensible explanation you gave of it when you +interpreted the parable of the talents is not so powerful as the +impression that you yourself believe after thinking it out for yourself +--not accepting the old explanations. And then," she added, with a note +as of surprise, "you are willing to sacrifice everything for it!" + +"And you?" he asked. "Cannot you, too, believe to that extent?" + +"Everything?" she repeated. "It would mean--poverty. No--God help me +--I cannot face it. I have become too hard. I cannot do without the +world. And even if I could! Oh, you cannot know what you ask Everett, +my husband--I must say it, you make me tell you everything--is not free. +He is little better than a slave to Eldon Parr. I hate Eldon Parr," she +added, with startling inconsequence. + +"If I had only known what it would lead to when I made Everett what he +is! But I knew nothing of business, and I wanted money, position to +satisfy my craving at the loss of--that other thing. And now I couldn't +change my husband if I would. He hasn't the courage, he hasn't the +vision. What there was of him, long ago, has been killed--and I killed +it. He isn't--anybody, now." + +She relapsed again into weeping. + +"And then it might not mean only poverty--it might mean disgrace." + +"Disgrace!" the rector involuntarily took up the word. + +"There are some things he has done," she said in a low voice, "which he +thought he was obliged to do which Eldon Parr made him do." + +"But Mr. Parr, too--?" Hodder began. + +"Oh, it was to shield Eldon Parr. They could never be traced to him. +And if they ever came out, it would kill my husband. Tell me," she +implored, "what can I do? What shall I do? You are responsible. You +have made me more bitterly unhappy than ever." + +"Are you willing," he asked, after a moment, "to make the supreme +renunciation? to face poverty, and perhaps disgrace, to save your soul +and others?" + +"And--others?" + +"Yes. Your sacrifice would not, could not be in vain. Otherwise I +should be merely urging on you the individualism which you once advocated +with me." + +"Renunciation." She pronounced the word questioningly. "Can +Christianity really mean that--renunciation of the world? Must we take +it in the drastic sense of the Church of the early centuries-the Church +of the Martyrs?" + +"Christianity demands all of us, or nothing," he replied. "But the false +interpretation of renunciation of the early Church has cast its blight on +Christianity even to our day. Oriental asceticism, Stoicism, Philo and +other influences distorted Christ's meaning. Renunciation does not mean +asceticism, retirement from the world, a denial of life. And the early +Christian, since he was not a citizen, since he took the view that this +mortal existence was essentially bad and kept his eyes steadfastly fixed +on another, was the victim at once of false philosophies and of the +literal messianic prophecies of the Jews, which were taken over with +Christianity. The earthly kingdom which was to come was to be the result +of some kind of a cataclysm. Personally, I believe our Lord merely used +the Messianic literature as a convenient framework for his spiritual +Kingdom of heaven, and that the Gospels misinterpret his meaning on this +point. + +"Renunciation is not the withdrawal from, the denial of life, but the +fulfilment of life, the submission to the divine will and guidance in +order that our work may be shown us. Renunciation is the assumption, +at once, of heavenly and earthly citizenship, of responsibility for +ourselves and our fellow-men. It is the realization that the other +world, the inner, spiritual world, is here, now, and that the soul may +dwell in it before death, while the body and mind work for the coming of +what may be called the collective kingdom. Life looked upon in that way +is not bad, but good,--not meaningless, but luminous." + +She had listened hungrily, her eyes fixed upon his face. + +"And for me?" she questioned. + +"For you," he answered, leaning forward and speaking with a conviction +that shook her profoundly, "if you make the sacrifice of your present +unhappiness, of your misery, all will be revealed. The labour which you +have shirked, which is now hidden from you, will be disclosed, you will +justify your existence by taking your place as an element of the +community. You will be able to say of yourself, at last, 'I am of use.'" + +"You mean--social work?" + +The likeness of this to Mrs. Plimpton's question struck him. She had +called it "charity." How far had they wandered in their teaching from +the Revelation of the Master, since it was as new and incomprehensible to +these so-called Christians as to Nicodemus himself! + +"All Christian work is social, Mrs. Constable, but it is founded on love. +'Thou shaft love thy neighbour as thyself.' You hold your own soul +precious, since it is the shrine of God. And for that reason you hold +equally precious your neighbour's soul. Love comes first, as revelation, +as imparted knowledge, as the divine gist of autonomy--self-government. +And then one cannot help working, socially, at the task for which we are +made by nature most efficient. And in order to discover what that task +is, we must wait." + +"Why did not some one tell me this, when I was young?" she asked--not +speaking to him. "It seems so simple." + +"It is simple. The difficult thing is to put it into practice--the most +difficult thing in the world. Both courage and faith are required, faith +that is content to trust as to the nature of the reward. It is the +wisdom of foolishness. Have you the courage?" + +She pressed her hands together. + +"Alone--perhaps I should have. I don't know. But my husband! +I was able to influence him to his destruction, and now I am powerless. +Darkness has closed around me. He would not--he will not listen to me." + +"You have tried?" + +"I have attempted to talk to him, but the whole of my life contradicts my +words. He cannot see me except as, the woman who drove him into making +money. Sometimes I think he hates me." + +Hodder recalled, as his eyes rested on her compassionately, the +sufferings of that other woman in Dalton Street. + +"Would you have me desert him--after all these years?" she whispered. +"I often think he would be happier, even now." + +"I would have you do nothing save that which God himself will reveal to +you. Go home, go into the church and pray--pray for knowledge. I think +you will find that you are held responsible for your husband. Pray that +that which you have broken, you may mend again." + +"Do you think there is a chance?" + +Hodder made a gesture. + +"God alone can judge as to the extent of his punishments." + +She got to her feet, wearily. + +"I feel no hope--I feel no courage, but--I will try. I see what you +mean--that my punishment is my powerlessness." + +He bent his head. + +"You are so strong--perhaps you can help me." + +"I shall always be ready," he replied. + +He escorted her down the steps to the dark blue brougham with upstanding, +chestnut horses which was waiting at the curb. But Mrs. Constable turned +to the footman, who held open the door. + +"You may stay here awhile," she said to him, and gave Hodder her hand.... + +She went into the church . . . . + + + +II + +Asa Waring and his son-in-law, Phil Goodrich, had been to see Hodder on +the subject of the approaching vestry meeting, and both had gone away not +a little astonished and impressed by the calmness with which the rector +looked forward to the conflict. Others of his parishioners, some of whom +were more discreet in their expressions of sympathy, were no less +surprised by his attitude; and even his theological adversaries, such as +Gordon Atterbury, paid him a reluctant tribute. Thanks, perhaps, to the +newspaper comments as much as to any other factor, in the minds of those +of all shades of opinion in the parish the issue had crystallized into a +duel between the rector and Eldon Parr. Bitterly as they resented the +glare of publicity into which St. John's had been dragged, the first +layman of the diocese was not beloved; and the fairer-minded of Hodder's +opponents, though appalled, were forced to admit in their hearts that the +methods by which Mr. Parr had made his fortune and gained his ascendency +would not bear scrutiny . . . . Some of them were disturbed, indeed, +by the discovery that there had come about in them, by imperceptible +degrees, in the last few years a new and critical attitude towards the +ways of modern finance: moat of them had an uncomfortable feeling that +Hodder was somehow right,--a feeling which they sought to stifle when +they reflected upon the consequences of facing it. For this would mean +a disagreeable shaking up of their own lives. Few of them were in a +position whence they might cast stones at Eldon Parr . . . . + +What these did not grasp was the fact that that which they felt stirring +within them was the new and spiritual product of the dawning twentieth +century--the Social Conscience. They wished heartily that the new rector +who had developed this disquieting personality would peacefully resign +and leave them to the former, even tenor of their lives. They did not +for one moment doubt the outcome of his struggle with Eldon Parr. The +great banker was known to be relentless, his name was synonymous with +victory. And yet, paradoxically, Hodder compelled their inner sympathy +and admiration! . . . + +Some of them, who did not attempt peremptorily to choke the a processes +made the startling discovery that they were not, after all, so shocked by +his doctrines as they had at first supposed. The trouble was that they +could not continue to listen to him, as formerly, with comfort.... One +thing was certain, that they had never expected to look forward to a +vestry meeting with such breathless interest and anxiety. This clergyman +had suddenly accomplished the surprising feat of reviving the Church as a +burning, vital factor in the life of the community! He had discerned her +enemy, and defied his power . . . . + +As for Hodder, so absorbed had he been by his experiences, so wrung by +the human contacts, the personal problems which he had sought to enter, +that he had actually given no thought to the battle before him until +the autumn afternoon, heavy with smoke, had settled down into darkness. +The weather was damp and cold, and he sat musing on the ordeal now +abruptly confronting him before his study fire when he heard a step +behind him. He turned to recognize, by the glow of the embers, the heavy +figure of Nelson Langmaid. + +"I hope I'm not disturbing you, Hodder," he said. "The janitor said you +were in, and your door is open." + +"Not at all," replied the rector, rising. As he stood for a moment +facing the lawyer, the thought of their friendship, and how it had begun +in the little rectory overlooking the lake at Bremerton, was uppermost in +his mind,--yes, and the memory of many friendly, literary discussions in +the same room where they now stood, of pleasant dinners at Langmaid's +house in the West End, when the two of them had often sat talking until +late into the nights. + +"I must seem very inhospitable," said Hodder. "I'll light the lamp--it's +pleasanter than the electric light." + +The added illumination at first revealed the lawyer in his familiar +aspect, the broad shoulders, the big, reddish beard, the dome-like head, +--the generous person that seemed to radiate scholarly benignity, peace, +and good-will. But almost instantly the rector became aware of a new and +troubled, puzzled glance from behind the round spectacles. . ." + +"I thought I'd drop in a moment on my way up town--" he began. And the +note of uncertainty in his voice, too, was new. Hodder drew towards the +fire the big chair in which it had been Langmaid's wont to sit, and +perhaps it was the sight of this operation that loosed the lawyer's +tongue. + +"Confound it, Hodder!" he exclaimed, "I like you--I always have liked +you. And you've got a hundred times the ability of the average +clergyman. Why in the world did you have to go and make all this +trouble?" + +By so characteristic a remark Hodder was both amused and moved. It +revealed so perfectly the point of view and predicament of the lawyer, +and it was also an expression of an affection which the rector cordially, +returned . . . . Before answering, he placed his visitor in the +chair, and the deliberation of the act was a revelation of the +unconscious poise of the clergyman. The spectacle of this self-command +on the brink of such a crucial event as the vestry meeting had taken +Langmaid aback more than he cared to show. He had lost the old sense of +comradeship, of easy equality; and he had the odd feeling of dealing with +a new man, at once familiar and unfamiliar, who had somehow lifted +himself out of the everyday element in which they heretofore had met. +The clergyman had contrived to step out of his, Langmaid's, experience: +had actually set him--who all his life had known no difficulty in dealing +with men--to groping for a medium of communication . . . . + +Hodder sat down on the other side of the fireplace. He, too, seemed to +be striving for a common footing. + +"It was a question of proclaiming the truth when at last I came to see +it, Langmaid. I could not help doing what I did. Matters of policy, +of a false consideration for individuals could not enter into it. +If this were not so, I should gladly admit that you had a just grievance, +a peculiar right to demand why I had not remained the strictly orthodox +person whom you induced to come here. You had every reason to +congratulate yourself that you were getting what you doubtless would call +a safe man." + +"I'll admit I had a twinge of uneasiness after I came home," Langmaid +confessed. + +Hodder smiled at his frankness. + +"But that disappeared." + +"Yes, it disappeared. You seemed to suit 'em so perfectly. I'll own up, +Hodder, that I was a little hurt that you did not come and talk to me +just before you took the extraordinary--before you changed your +opinions." + +"Would it have done any good?" asked the rector, gently. "Would you +have agreed with me any better than you do now? I am perfectly willing, +if you wish, to discuss with you any views of mine which you may not +indorse. And it would make me very happy, I assure you, if I could bring +you to look upon the matter as I do." + +This was a poser. And whether it were ingenuous, or had in it an element +of the scriptural wisdom of the serpent, Langmaid could not have said. +As a lawyer, he admired it. + +"I wasn't in church, as usual,--I didn't hear the sermon," he replied. +"And I never could make head or tail of theology--I always told you that. +What I deplore, Hodder, is that you've contrived to make a hornets' nest +out of the most peaceful and contented congregation in America. Couldn't +you have managed to stick to religion instead of getting mixed up with +socialism?" + +"So you have been given the idea that my sermon was socialistic?" the +rector said. + +"Socialistic and heretical,--it seems. Of course I'm not much of an +authority on heresy, but they claim that you went out of your way to +knock some of their most cherished and sacred beliefs in the head." + +"But suppose I have come to the honest conclusion that in the first +place these so-called cherished beliefs have no foundation in fact, +and no influence on the lives of the persons who cherished them, no real +connection with Christianity? What would you have me do, as a man? +Continue to preach them for the sake of the lethargic peace of which +you speak? leave the church paralyzed, as I found it?" + +"Paralyzed! You've got the most influential people in the city." + +Hodder regarded him for a while without replying. + +"So has the Willesden Club," he said. + +Langmaid laughed a little, uncomfortably. + +"If Christianity, as one of the ancient popes is said to have remarked, +were merely a profitable fable," the rector continued, "there might be +something in your contention that St. John's, as a church, had reached +the pinnacle of success. But let us ignore the spiritual side of this +matter as non-vital, and consider it from the practical side. We have +the most influential people in the city, but we have not their children. +That does not promise well for the future. The children get more profit +out of the country clubs. And then there is another question: is it +going to continue to be profitable? Is it as profitable now as it was, +say, twenty years ago? + +"You've got out of my depth," said Nelson Langmaid. + +"I'll try to explain. As a man of affairs, I think you will admit, if +you reflect, that the return of St. John's, considering the large amount +of money invested, is scarcely worth considering. And I am surprised +that as astute a man as Mr. Pair has not been able to see this long ago. +If we clear all the cobwebs away, what is the real function of this +church as at present constituted? Why this heavy expenditure to maintain +religious services for a handful of people? Is it not, when we come down +to facts, an increasingly futile effort to bring the influences of +religion--of superstition, if you will--to bear on the so-called lower +classes in order that they may remain contented with their lot, with that +station and condition in the world where--it is argued--it has pleased +God to call them? If that were not so, in my opinion there are very few +of the privileged classes who would invest a dollar in the Church. And +the proof of it is that the moment a clergyman raises his voice to +proclaim the true message of Christianity they are up in arms with the +cry of socialism. They have the sense to see that their privileges are +immediately threatened. + +"Looking at it from the financial side, it would be cheaper for them to +close up their churches. It is a mere waste of time and money, because +the influence on their less fortunate brethren in a worldly sense has +dwindled to nothing. Few of the poor come near their churches in these +days. The profitable fable is almost played out." + +Hodder had spoken without bitterness, yet his irony was by no means lost +on the lawyer. Langmaid, if the truth be told, found himself for the +moment in the unusual predicament of being at a loss, for the rector had +put forward with more or less precision the very cynical view which he +himself had been clever enough to evolve. + +"Haven't they the right," he asked, somewhat lamely to demand the kind of +religion they pay for?" + +"Provided you don't call it religion," said the rector. + +Langmaid smiled in spite of himself. + +"See here, Hodder," he said, "I've always confessed frankly that I knew +little or nothing about religion. I've come here this evening as your +friend, without authority from anybody," he added significantly, "to see +if this thing couldn't somehow be adjusted peaceably, for your sake as +well as others'. Come, you must admit there's a grain of justice in the +contention against you. When I went on to Bremerton to get you I had no +real reason for supposing that these views would develop. I made a +contract with you in all good faith." + +"And I with you," answered the rector. "Perhaps you do not realize, +Langmaid, what has been the chief factor in developing these views." + +The lawyer was silent, from caution. + +"I must be frank with you. It was the discovery that Mr. Parr and others +of my chief parishioners were so far from being Christians as to indulge, +while they supported the Church of Christ, in operations like that of the +Consolidated Tractions Company, wronging their fellow-men and condemning +them to misery and hate. And that you, as a lawyer, used your talents to +make that operation possible." + +"Hold on!" cried Langmaid, now plainly agitated. "You have no right--you +can know nothing of that affair. You do not understand business." + +"I'm afraid," replied the rector, sadly, "that I understand one side of +it only too well." + +"The Church has no right to meddle outside of her sphere, to dictate to +politics and business." + +"Her sphere," said Holder,--is the world. If she does not change the +world by sending out Christians into it, she would better close her +doors." + +"Well, I don't intend to quarrel with you, Holder. I suppose it can't be +helped that we look at these things differently, and I don't intend to +enter into a defence of business. It would take too long, and it +wouldn't help any." He got to his feet. "Whatever happens, it won't +interfere with our personal friendship, even if you think me a highwayman +and I think you a--" + +"A fanatic," Holder supplied. He had risen, too, and stood, with a smile +on his face, gazing at the lawyer with an odd scrutiny. + +"An idealist, I was going to say," Langmaid answered, returning the +smile, "I'll admit that we need them in the world. It's only when one +of them gets in the gear-box . . . ." + +The rector laughed. And thus they stood, facing each other. + +"Langmaid," Holder asked, "don't you ever get tired and disgusted with +the Juggernaut car?" + +The big lawyer continued to smile, but a sheepish, almost boyish +expression came over his face. He had not credited the clergyman with +so much astuteness. + +"Business, nowadays, is--business, Holder. The Juggernaut car claims us +all. It has become-if you will permit me to continue to put my similes +into slang--the modern band wagon. And we lawyers have to get on it, or +fall by the wayside." + +Holder stared into the fire. + +"I appreciate your motive in coming here," he said, at length, "and I do +you the justice of believing it was friendly, that the fact that you are, +in a way, responsible for me to--to the congregation of St. John's did +not enter into it. I realize that I have made matters particularly +awkward for you. You have given them in me, and in good faith, something +they didn't bargain for. You haven't said so, but you want me to resign. +On the one hand, you don't care to see me tilting at the windmills, or, +better, drawing down on my head the thunderbolts of your gods. On the +other hand, you are just a little afraid for your gods. If the question +in dispute were merely an academic one, I'd accommodate you at once. But +I can't. I've thought it all out, and I have made up my mind that it is +my clear duty to remain here and, if I am strong enough, wrest this +church from the grip of Eldon Parr and the men whom he controls. + +"I am speaking plainly, and I understand the situation thoroughly. You +will probably tell me, as others have done, that no one has ever opposed +Eldon Parr who has not been crushed. I go in with my eyes open, I am +willing to be crushed, if necessary. You have come here to warn me, and +I appreciate your motive. Now I am going to warn you, in all sincerity +and friendship. I may be beaten, I may be driven out. But the victory +will be mine nevertheless. Eldon Parr and the men who stand with him in +the struggle will never recover from the blow I shall give them. I shall +leave them crippled because I have the truth on my side, and the truth +is irresistible. And they shall not be able to injure me permanently. +And you, I regret deeply to say, will be hurt, too. I beg you, for no +selfish reason, to consider again the part you intend to play in this +affair." + +Such was the conviction, such the unlooked-for fire with which the rector +spoke that Langmaid was visibly shaken and taken aback in spite of +himself. + +"Do you mean," he demanded, when he had caught his breath, "that you +intend to attack us publicly?" + +"Is that the only punishment you can conceive of?" the rector asked. The +reproach in his voice was in itself a denial. + +"I beg your pardon, Hodder," said the lawyer, quickly. "And I am sure +you honestly believe what you say, but--" + +"In your heart you, too, believe it, Langmaid. The retribution has +already begun. Nevertheless you will go on--for a while." He held out +his hand, which Langmaid took mechanically. "I bear you no ill-will. +I am sorry that you cannot yet see with sufficient clearness to save +yourself." + +Langmaid turned and picked up his hat and stick and left the room without +another word. The bewildered, wistful look which had replaced the +ordinarily benign and cheerful expression haunted Hodder long after +the lawyer had gone. It was the look of a man who has somehow lost +his consciousness of power. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV + +THE VESTRY MEETS + +At nine o'clock that evening Hodder stood alone in the arched vestry +room, and the sight of the heavy Gothic chairs ranged about the long +table brought up memories of comfortable, genial meetings prolonged by +chat and banter.... The noise of feet, of subdued voices beside the coat +room in the corridor, aroused him. All of the vestry would seem to have +arrived at once. + +He regarded them with a detached curiosity as they entered, reading them +with a new insight. The trace of off-handedness in Mr. Plimpton's former +cordiality was not lost upon him--an intimation that his star had set. +Mr. Plimpton had seen many breaches healed--had healed many himself. But +he had never been known as a champion of lost causes. + +"Well, here we are, Mr. Hodder, on the stroke," he remarked. +"As a vestry, I think we're entitled to the first prize for promptness. +How about it, Everett?" + +Everett Constable was silent. + +"Good evening, Mr. Hodder," he said. He did not offer to shake hands, +as Mr. Plimpton had done, but sat down at the far end of the table. +He looked tired and worn; sick, the rector thought, and felt a sudden +swelling of compassion for the pompous little man whose fibre was not +as tough as that of these other condottieri: as Francis Ferguson's, for +instance, although his soft hand and pink and white face framed in the +black whiskers would seem to belie any fibre whatever. + +Gordon Atterbury hemmed and hawed,--"Ah, Mr. Hodder," and seated himself +beside Mr. Constable, in a chair designed to accommodate a portly bishop. +Both of them started nervously as Asa Waring, holding his head high, as a +man should who has kept his birthright, went directly to the rector. + +"I'm glad to see you, Mr. Hodder," he said, and turning defiantly, +surveyed the room. There was an awkward silence. Mr. Plimpton edged +a little nearer. The decree might have gone forth for Mr. Hodder's +destruction, but Asa Waring was a man whose displeasure was not to be +lightly incurred. + +"What's this I hear about your moving out of Hamilton Place, Mr. Waring? +You'd better come up and take the Spaulding lot, in Waverley, across from +us." + +"I am an old man, Mr. Plimpton," Asa Waring replied. "I do not move as +easily as some other people in these days." + +Everett Constable produced his handkerchief and rubbed his nose +violently. But Mr. Plimpton was apparently undaunted. + +"I have always said," he observed, "that there was something very fine in +your sticking to that neighbourhood after your friends had gone. Here's +Phil!" + +Phil Goodrich looked positively belligerent, and as he took his stand +on the other side of Hodder his father-in-law smiled at him grimly. +Mr. Goodrich took hold of the rector's arm. + +"I missed one or two meetings last spring, Mr. Hodder," he said, "but I'm +going to be on hand after this. My father, I believe, never missed a +vestry meeting in his life. Perhaps that was because they used to hold +most of 'em at his house." + +"And serve port and cigars, I'm told," Mr. Plimpton put in. + +"That was an inducement, Wallis, I'll admit," answered Phil. "But there +are even greater inducements now." + +In view of Phil Goodrich's well-known liking for a fight, this was too +pointed to admit of a reply, but Mr. Plimpton was spared the attempt by +the entrance of. Nelson Langmaid. The lawyer, as he greeted them, +seemed to be preoccupied, nor did he seek to relieve the tension with +his customary joke. A few moments of silence followed, when Eldon Parr +was seen to be standing in the doorway, surveying them. + +"Good evening, gentlemen," he said coldly, and without more ado went to +his customary chair, and sat down in it. Immediately followed a scraping +of other chairs. There was a dominating quality about the man not to be +gainsaid. + +The rector called the meeting to order . . . . + +During the routine business none of the little asides occurred which +produce laughter. Every man in the room was aware of the intensity of +Eldon Parr's animosity, and yet he betrayed it neither by voice, look, +or gesture. There was something uncanny in this self-control, this sang +froid with which he was wont to sit at boards waiting unmoved for the +time when he should draw his net about his enemies, and strangle them +without pity. It got on Langmaid's nerves--hardened as he was to it. +He had seen many men in that net; some had struggled, some had taken +their annihilation stoically; honest merchants, freebooters, and +brigands. Most of them had gone out, with their families, into that +precarious border-land of existence in which the to-morrows are ever +dreaded. + +Yet here, somehow, was a different case. Langmaid found himself going +back to the days when his mother had taken him to church, and he could +not bear to look at, Hodder. Since six o'clock that afternoon--had his +companions but known it--he had passed through one of the worst periods +of his existence. . . . + +After the regular business had been disposed of a brief interval was +allowed, for the sake of decency, to ensue. That Eldon Parr would not +lead the charge in person was a foregone conclusion. Whom, then, would +he put forward? For obvious reasons, not Wallis Plimpton or Langmaid, +nor Francis Ferguson. Hodder found his, glance unconsciously fixed upon +Everett Constable, who, moved nervously and slowly pushed back his chair. +He was called upon, in this hour and in the church his father had helped +to found, to make the supreme payment for the years of financial +prosperity. Although a little man, with his shoulders thrown back and +his head high, he generally looked impressive when he spoke, and his fine +features and clear-cut English contributed to the effect. But now his +face was strained, and his voice seemed to lack command as he bowed and +mentioned the rector's name. Eldon Parr sat back. + +"Gentlemen," Mr. Constable began, "I feel it my duty to say something +this evening, something that distresses me. Like some of you who are +here present, I have been on this vestry for many years, and my father +was on it before me. I was brought up under Dr. Gilman, of whom I need +not speak. All here, except our present rector, knew him. This church, +St. John's, has been a part--a--large part--of my life. And anything +that seems to touch its welfare, touches me. + +"When Dr. Gilman died, after so many years of faithful service, we faced +a grave problem,--that of obtaining a young man of ability, an active man +who would be able to assume the responsibilities of a large and growing +parish, and at the same time carry on its traditions, precious to us all; +one who believed in and preached, I need scarcely add, the accepted +doctrines of the Church, which we have been taught to think are sacred +and necessary to salvation. And in the discovery of the Reverend Mr. +Hodder, we had reason to congratulate ourselves and the parish. He was +all that we had hoped for, and more. His sermons were at once a pleasure +and an instruction. + +"I wish to make it clear," he continued, "that in spite of the pain Mr. +Hodder's words of last Sunday have given me, I respect and honour him +still, and wish him every success. But, gentlemen, I think it is plain +to all of you that he has changed his religious convictions. As to the +causes through which that change has come about, I do not pretend to +know. To say the least, the transition is a startling one, one for which +some of us were totally unprepared. To speak restrainedly, it was a +shock--a shock which I shall remember as long as I live. + +"I need not go into the doctrinal question here, except to express my +opinion that the fundamental facts of our religion were contradicted. +And we have also to consider the effect of this preaching on coming +generations for whom we are responsible. There are, no doubt, other +fields for Mr. Hodder's usefulness. But I think it may safely be taken +as a principle that this parish has the right to demand from the pulpit +that orthodox teaching which suits it, and to which it has been +accustomed. And I venture further to give it as my opinion--to put it +mildly that others have been as disturbed and shocked as I. I have seen +many, talked with many, since Sunday. For these reasons, with much +sorrow and regret, I venture to suggest to the vestry that Mr. Hodder +resign as our rector. And I may add what I believe to be the feeling +of all present, that we have nothing but good will for him, although +we think we might have been informed of what he intended to do. + +"And that in requesting him to resign we are acting for his own good as +well as our own, and are thus avoiding a situation which threatens to +become impossible,--one which would bring serious reflection on him and +calamity on the church. We already, in certain articles in the +newspapers, have had an indication of the intolerable notoriety we may +expect, although I hold Mr. Hodder innocent in regard to those articles. +I am sure he will have the good sense to see this situation as I see it, +as the majority of the parish see it." + +Mr. Constable sat down, breathing hard. He had not looked at the rector +during the whole of his speech, nor at Eldon Parr. There was a heavy +silence, and then Philip Goodrich rose, square, clean-cut, aggressive. + +"I, too, gentlemen, have had life-long association with this church," he +began deliberately. "And for Mr. Hodder's sake I am going to give you a +little of my personal history, because I think it typical of thousands of +men of my age all over this country. It was nobody's fault, perhaps, +that I was taught that the Christian religion depended on a certain +series of nature miracles and a chain of historical events, and when I +went East to school I had more of this same sort of instruction. I have +never, perhaps, been overburdened with intellect, but the time arrived +nevertheless when I began to think for myself. Some of the older boys +went once, I remember, to the rector of the school--a dear old man--and +frankly stated our troubles. To use a modern expression, he stood pat on +everything. I do not say it was a consciously criminal act, he probably +saw no way out himself. At any rate, he made us all agnostics at one +stroke. + +"What I learned in college of science and history and philosophy merely +confirmed me in my agnosticism. As a complete system for the making of +atheists and materialists, I commend the education which I received. If +there is any man here who believes religion to be an essential factor in +life, I ask him to think of his children or grandchildren before he comes +forward to the support of Mr. Constable. + +"In that sermon which he preached last Sunday, Mr. Hodder, for the first +time in my life, made Christianity intelligible to me. I want him to +know it. And there are other men and women in that congregation who +feel as I do. Gentlemen, there is nothing I would not give to have had +Christianity put before me in that simple and inspiring way when I was +a boy. And in my opinion St. John's is more fortunate to-day than it +ever has been in its existence. Mr. Hodder should have an unanimous +testimonial of appreciation from this vestry for his courage. And if the +vote requesting him to resign prevails, I venture to predict that there +is not a man on this vestry who will not live to regret it." + +Phil Goodrich glared at Eldon Parr, who remained unmoved. + +"Permit me to add," he said, "that this controversy, in other respects +than doctrine, is more befitting to the Middle Ages than to the twentieth +century, when this Church and other denominations are passing resolutions +in their national conventions with a view to unity and freedom of +belief." + +Mr. Langmaid, Mr. Plimpton, and Mr. Constable sat still. Mr. Ferguson +made no move. It was Gordon Atterbury who rushed into the breach, and +proved that the extremists are allies of doubtful value. + +He had, apparently, not been idle since Sunday, and was armed cap-a pie +with time-worn arguments that need not be set down. All of which went to +show that Mr. Goodrich had not referred to the Middle Ages in vain. For +Gordon Atterbury was a born school-man. But he finished by declaring, at +the end of twenty minutes (much as he regretted the necessity of saying +it), that Mr. Hodder's continuance as rector would mean the ruin of the +church in which all present took such a pride. That the great majority +of its members would never submit to what was so plainly heresy. + +It was then that Mr. Plimpton gathered courage to pour oil on the waters. +There was nothing, in his opinion, he remarked smilingly, in his function +as peacemaker, to warrant anything but the most friendly interchange of +views. He was second to none in his regard for Mr. Hodder, in his +admiration for a man who had the courage of his convictions. He had not +the least doubt that Mr. Hodder did not desire to remain in the parish +when it was so apparent that the doctrines which he now preached were not +acceptable to most of those who supported the church. And he added (with +sublime magnanimity) that he wished Mr. Hodder the success which he was +sure he deserved, and gave him every assurance of his friendship. + +Asa Waring was about to rise, when he perceived that Hodder himself was +on his feet. And the eyes of every man, save one, were fixed on him +irresistibly. The rector seemed unaware of it. It was Philip Goodrich +who remarked to his father-in-law, as they walked home afterwards, of the +sense he had had at that moment that there were just two men in the +room,--Hodder and Eldon Parr. All the rest were ciphers; all had lost, +momentarily, their feelings of partisanship and were conscious only of +these two intense, radiating, opposing centres of force; and no man, +oddly enough, could say which was the stronger. They seemingly met on +equal terms. There could not be the slightest doubt that the rector did +not mean to yield, and yet they might have been puzzled if they had asked +themselves how they had read the fact in his face or manner. For he +betrayed neither anger nor impatience. + +No more did the financier reveal his own feelings. He still sat back in +his chair, unmoved, in apparent contemplation. The posture was familiar +to Langmaid. + +Would he destroy, too, this clergyman? For the first time in his life, +and as he looked at Hodder, the lawyer wondered. Hodder did not defend +himself, made no apologies. Christianity was not a collection of +doctrines, he reminded them,--but a mode of life. If anything were clear +to him, it was that the present situation was not, with the majority of +them, a matter of doctrines, but of unwillingness to accept the message +and precept of Jesus Christ, and lead Christian lives. They had made use +of the doctrines as a stalking-horse. + +There was a stir at this, and Hodder paused a moment and glanced around +the table. But no one interrupted. + +He was fully aware of his rights, and he had no intention of resigning. +To resign would be to abandon the work for which he was responsible, not +to them, but to God. And he was perfectly willing--nay, eager to defend +his Christianity before any ecclesiastical court, should the bishop +decide that a court was necessary. The day of freedom, of a truer vision +was at hand, the day of Christian unity on the vital truths, and no +better proof of it could be brought forward than the change in him. +In his ignorance and blindness he had hitherto permitted compromise, but +he would no longer allow those who made only an outward pretence of being +Christians to direct the spiritual affairs of St. John's, to say what +should and what should not be preached. This was to continue to paralyze +the usefulness of the church, to set at naught her mission, to alienate +those who most had need of her, who hungered and thirsted after +righteousness, and went away unsatisfied. + +He had hardly resumed his seat when Everett Constable got up again. He +remarked, somewhat unsteadily, that to prolong the controversy would be +useless and painful to all concerned, and he infinitely regretted the +necessity of putting his suggestion that the rector resign in the form of +a resolution . . . . The vote was taken. Six men raised their hands +in favour of his resignation--Nelson Langmaid among them: two, Asa Waring +and Philip Goodrich, were against it. After announcing the result, +Hodder rose. + +"For the reason I have stated, gentlemen, I decline to resign," he said. +"I stand upon my canonical rights." + +Francis Ferguson arose, his voice actually trembling with anger. There +is something uncanny in the passion of a man whose life has been ordered +by the inexorable rules of commerce, who has been wont to decide all +questions from the standpoint of dollars and cents. If one of his own +wax models had suddenly become animated, the effect could not have been +more startling. + +In the course of this discussion, he declared, Mr. Hodder had seen fit to +make grave and in his opinion unwarranted charges concerning the lives of +some, if not all, of the gentlemen who sat here. It surprised him that +these remarks had not been resented, but he praised a Christian +forbearance on the part of his colleagues which he was unable to achieve. +He had no doubt that their object had been to spare Mr. Hodder's feelings +as much as possible, but Mr. Hodder had shown no disposition to spare +their own. He had outraged them, Mr. Ferguson thought,--wantonly so. +He had made these preposterous and unchristian charges an excuse for his +determination to remain in a position where his usefulness had ceased. + +No one, unfortunately, was perfect in this life,--not even Mr. Hodder. +He, Francis Ferguson, was far from claiming to be so. But he believed +that this arraignment of the men who stood highest in the city for +decency, law, and order, who supported the Church, who revered its +doctrines, who tried to live Christian lives, who gave their time and +their money freely to it and to charities, that this arraignment was an +arrogant accusation and affront to be repudiated. He demanded that Mr. +Hodder be definite. If he had any charges to make, let him make them +here and now. + +The consternation, the horror which succeeded such a stupid and +unexpected tactical blunder on the part of the usually astute +Mr. Ferguson were felt rather than visually discerned. The atmosphere +might have been described as panicky. Asa Waring and Phil Goodrich +smiled as Wallis Plimpton, after a moment's hush, scrambled to his feet, +his face pale, his customary easiness and nonchalance now the result of +an obvious effort. He, too, tried to smile, but swallowed instead as he +remembered his property in Dalton Street . . . . Nelson Langmaid +smiled, in spite of himself. . . Mr. Plimpton implored his fellow- +members not to bring personalities into the debate, and he was aware all +the while of the curious, pitying expression of the rector. He breathed +a sigh of relief at the opening words of Hodder, who followed him. + +"Gentlemen," he said, "I have no intention of being personal, even by +unanimous consent. But if Mr. Ferguson will come to me after this +meeting I shall have not the least objection to discussing this matter +with him in so far as he himself is concerned. I can only assure you +now that I have not spoken without warrant." + +There was, oddly enough, no acceptance of this offer by Mr. Ferguson. +Another silence ensued, broken, at last, by a voice for which they had +all been unconsciously waiting; a voice which, though unemotional, cold, +and matter-of-fact, was nevertheless commanding, and long accustomed to +speak with an overwhelming authority. Eldon Parr did not rise. + +"Mr. Hodder," he said, "in one respect seems to be under the delusion +that we are still in the Middle Ages, instead of the twentieth century, +since he assumes the right to meddle with the lives of his parishioners, +to be the sole judge of their actions. That assumption will not, be +tolerated by free men. I, for one, gentlemen, do not, propose to have +a socialist for the rector of the church which I attend and support. And +I maintain the privilege of an American citizen to set my own standards, +within the law, and to be the sole arbitrar of those standards." + +"Good!" muttered Gordon Atterbury. Langmaid moved uncomfortably. + +"I shall not waste words," the financier continued. "There is in my +mind no question that we are justified in demanding from our rector the +Christian doctrines to which we have given our assent, and which are +stated in the Creeds. That they shall be subject to the whims of the +rector is beyond argument. I do not pretend to, understand either, +gentlemen, the nature of the extraordinary change that has taken place +in the rector of St. John's. I am not well versed m psychology. I am +incapable of flights myself. One effect of this change is an attitude +on which reasonable considerations would seem to have no effect. + +"Our resources, fortunately, are not yet at an end. It has been +my hope, on account of my former friendship with Mr. Hodder, that an +ecclesiastical trial might not be necessary. It now seems inevitable. +In the meantime, since Mr. Hodder has seen fit to remain in spite of +our protest, I do not intend to enter this church. I was prepared, +gentlemen, as some of you no doubt know, to spend a considerable sum in +adding to the beauty of St. John's and to the charitable activities of +the parish. Mr. Hodder has not disapproved of my gifts in the past, but +owing to his present scruples concerning my worthiness, I naturally +hesitate to press the matter now." Mr. Parr indulged in the semblance of +a smile. "I fear that he must take the responsibility of delaying this +benefit, with the other responsibilities he has assumed." + +His voice changed. It became sharper. + +"In short, I propose to withhold all contributions for whatever purpose +from this church while Mr. Hodder is rector, and I advise those of you +who have voted for his resignation to do the same. In the meantime, +I shall give my money to Calvary, and attend its services. And I shall +offer further a resolution--which I am informed is within our right--to +discontinue Mr. Hodder's salary." + +There was that in the unparalleled audacity of Eldon Parr that compelled +Hodder's unwilling admiration. He sat gazing at the financier during +this speech, speculating curiously on the inner consciousness of the man +who could utter it. Was it possible that he had no sense of guilt? Even +so, he had shown a remarkable astuteness in relying on the conviction +that he (Hodder) would not betray what he knew. + +He was suddenly aware that Asa Waring was standing beside him. + +"Gentlemen," said Mr. Waring, "I have listened to this discussion as long +as I can bear it with patience. Had I been told of it, I should have +thought it incredible that the methods of the money changers should be +applied to the direction and control of the house of God. In my opinion +there is but one word which is suitable for what has passed here +to-night, and the word is persecution. Perhaps I have lived too long I +have lived to see honourable, upright men deprived of what was rightfully +theirs, driven from their livelihood by the rapacity of those who strive +to concentrate the wealth and power of the nation into their hands. +I have seen this power gathering strength, stretching its arm little by +little over the institutions I fought to preserve, and which I cherish +over our politics, over our government, yes, and even over our courts. +I have seen it poisoning the business honour in which we formerly took +such a pride, I have seen it reestablishing a slavery more pernicious +than that which millions died to efface. I have seen it compel a +subservience which makes me ashamed, as an American, to witness." + +His glance, a withering moral scorn, darted from under the grizzled +eyebrows and alighted on one man after another, and none met it. Everett +Constable coughed, Wallis Plimpton shifted his position, the others sat +like stones. Asa Waring was giving vent at last to the pent-up feelings +of many years. + +"And now that power, which respects nothing, has crept into the sanctuary +of the Church. Our rector recognizes it, I recognize it,--there is not +a man here who, in his heart, misunderstands me. And when a man is found +who has the courage to stand up against it, I honour him with all my +soul, and a hope that was almost dead revives in me. For there is one +force, and one force alone, able to overcome the power of which I speak, +--the Spirit of Christ. And the mission of the Church is to disseminate +that spirit. The Church is the champion on which we have to rely, or +give up all hope of victory. The Church must train the recruits. And if +the Church herself is betrayed into the hands of the enemy, the battle is +lost. + +"If Mr. Hodder is forced out of this church, it would be better to lock +the doors. St. John's will be held up, and rightfully, to the scorn of +the city. All the money in the world will not save her. Though +crippled, she has survived one disgrace, when she would not give free +shelter to the man who above all others expressed her true spirit, when +she drove Horace Bentley from her doors after he had been deprived of the +fortune which he was spending for his fellow-men. She will not survive +another. + +"I have no doubt Mr. Parr's motion to take from Mr. Hodder his living +will go through. And still I urge him not to resign. I am not a rich +man, even when such property as I have is compared to moderate fortunes +of these days, but I would pay his salary willingly out of my own pocket +rather than see him go . . . . + +"I call the attention of the Chairman," said Eldon Parr, after a certain +interval in which no one had ventured to speak, "to the motion before the +vestry relating to the discontinuance of Mr. Hodder's salary." + +It was then that the unexpected happened. Gordon Atterbury redeemed +himself. His respect for Mr. Waring, he said, made him hesitate to take +issue with him. + +He could speak for himself and for a number of people in the congregation +when he reiterated his opinion that they were honestly shocked at what +Mr. Hodder had preached, and that this was his sole motive in requesting +Mr. Hodder to resign. He thought, under the circumstances, that this was +a matter which might safely be left with the bishop. He would not vote +to deprive Mr. Hodder of his salary. + +The motion was carried by a vote of five to three. For Eldon Parr well +knew that his will needed no reenforcement by argument. And this much +was to be said for him, that after he had entered a battle he never +hesitated, never under any circumstances reconsidered the probable +effect of his course. + +As for the others, those who had supported him, they were cast in a less +heroic mould. Even Francis Ferguson. As between the devil and the deep +sea, he was compelled, with as good a grace as possible, to choose the +devil. He was utterly unable to contemplate the disaster which might +ensue if certain financial ties, which were thicker than cables, were +snapped. But his affection for the devil was not increased by thus being +led into a charge from which he would willingly have drawn back. Asa +Waring might mean nothing to Eldon Parr, but he meant a great deal to +Francis Ferguson, who had by no means forgotten his sensations of +satisfaction when Mrs. Waring had made her first call in Park Street on +Francis Ferguson's wife. He left the room in such a state of absent- +mindedness as actually to pass Mr. Parr in the corridor without speaking +to him. + +The case of Wallis Plimpton was even worse. He had married the Gores, +but he had sought to bind himself with hoops of steel to the Warings. He +had always secretly admired that old Roman quality (which the Goodriches +--their connections--shared) of holding fast to their course unmindful +and rather scornful of influence which swayed their neighbours. The clan +was sufficient unto itself, satisfied with a moderate prosperity and a +continually increasing number of descendants. The name was unstained. +Such are the strange incongruities in the hearts of men, that few +realized the extent to which Wallis Plimpton had partaken of the general +hero-worship of Phil Goodrich. He had assiduously cultivated his regard, +at times discreetly boasted of it, and yet had never been sure of it. +And now fate, in the form of his master, Eldon Parr had ironically +compelled him at one stroke to undo the work of years. As soon as the +meeting broke up, he crossed the room. + +"I can't tell you how much I regret this, Phil, he said. "Charlotte has +very strong convictions, you know, and so have I. You can understand, I +am sure, how certain articles of belief might be necessary to one person, +and not to another." + +"Yes," said Phil, "I can understand. We needn't mention the articles, +Wallis." And he turned his back. + +He never knew the pain he inflicted. Wallis Plimpton looked at the +rector, who stood talking to Mr. Waring, and for the first time in his +life recoiled from an overture. + +Something in the faces of both men warned him away. + +Even Everett Constable, as they went home in the cars together, was brief +with him, and passed no comments when Mr. Plimpton recovered sufficiently +to elaborate on the justification of their act, and upon the +extraordinary stand taken by Phil Goodrich and Mr. Waring. + +"They might have told us what they were going to do." + +Everett Constable eyed him. + +"Would it have made any difference, Plimpton?" he demanded. + +After that they rode in silence, until they came to a certain West End +corner, where they both descended. Little Mr. Constable's sensations +were, if anything, less enviable, and he had not Mr. Plimpton's +recuperative powers. He had sold that night, for a mess of pottage, +the friendship and respect of three generations. And he had fought, +for pay, against his own people. + +And lastly, there was Langmaid, whose feelings almost defy analysis. He +chose to walk through the still night the four miles--that separated him +from his home. And he went back over the years of his life until he +found, in the rubbish of the past, a forgotten and tarnished jewel. The +discovery pained him. For that jewel was the ideal he had carried away, +as a youth, from the old law school at the bottom of Hamilton Place, +--a gift from no less a man than the great lawyer and public-spirited +citizen, Judge Henry Goodrich--Philip Goodrich's grandfather, whose +seated statue marked the entrance of the library. He, Nelson Langmaid, +--had gone forth from that school resolved to follow in the footsteps +of that man,--but somehow he missed the path. Somehow the jewel had lost +its fire. There had come a tempting offer, and a struggle--just one: +a readjustment on the plea that the world had changed since the days of +Judge Goodrich, whose uncompromising figure had begun to fade: an +exciting discovery that he, Nelson Langmaid, possessed the gift of +drawing up agreements which had the faculty of passing magically through +the meshes of the Statutes. Affluence had followed, and fame, and even +that high office which the Judge himself had held, the Presidency of the +State Bar Association. In all that time, one remark, which he had tried +to forget, had cut him to the quick. Bedloe Hubbell had said on the +political platform that Langmaid got one hundred thousand dollars a year +for keeping Eldon Parr out of jail. + +Once he stopped in the street, his mind suddenly going back to the action +of the financier at the vestry meeting. + +"Confound him!" he said aloud, "he has been a fool for once. I told him +not to do it." + +He stood at last in the ample vestibule of his house, singling out his +latch-key, when suddenly the door opened, and his daughter Helen +appeared. + +"Oh, dad," she cried, "why are you so-late? I've been watching for you. +I know you've let Mr. Hodder stay." + +She gazed at him with widened eyes. + +"Don't tell me that you've made him resign. I can't--I won't believe +it." + +"He isn't going to resign, Helen," Langmaid replied, in an odd voice. + +"He--he refused to." + + + + +CHAPTER XXV + +"RISE, CROWNED WITH LIGHT!" + + +I + +The Church of St. John's, after a peaceful existence of so many years, +had suddenly become the stage on which rapid and bewildering dramas were +played: the storm-centre of chaotic forces, hitherto unperceived, drawn +from the atmosphere around her. For there had been more publicity, more +advertising. "The Rector of St. John's will not talk"--such had been +one headline: neither would the vestry talk. And yet, despite all this +secrecy, the whole story of the suspension of Hodder's salary was in +print, and an editorial (which was sent to him) from a popular and +sensational journal, on "tainted money," in which Hodder was held up +to the public as a martyr because he refused any longer to accept for +the Church ill-gotten gains from Consolidated Tractions and the like. + +This had opened again the floodgates of the mails, and it seemed as +though every person who had a real or fancied grievance against Eldon +Parr had written him. Nor did others of his congregation escape. The +press of visitors at the parish house suddenly increased once more, +men and women came to pour into his ears an appalling aeries of +confessions; wrongs which, like Garvin's, had engendered bitter hatreds; +woes, temptations, bewilderments. Hodder strove to keep his feet, sought +wisdom to deal patiently with all, though at times he was tried to the +uttermost. And he held steadfastly before his mind the great thing, that +they did come. It was what he had longed for, prayed for, despaired of. +He was no longer crying in the empty wilderness, but at last in touch-in +natural touch with life: with life in all its sorrow, its crudity and +horror. He had contrived, by the grace of God, to make the connection +for his church. + +That church might have been likened to a ship sailing out of the snug +harbour in which she had lain so long to range herself gallantly beside +those whom she had formerly beheld, with complacent cowardice, fighting +her fight: young men and women, enlisted under other banners than her +own, doing their part in the battle of the twentieth century for +humanity. Her rector was her captain. It was he who had cut her cables, +quelled, for a time at least, her mutineers; and sought to hearten those +of her little crew who wavered, who shrank back appalled as they realized +something of the immensity of the conflict in which her destiny was to be +wrought out. + +To carry on the figure, Philip Goodrich might have been deemed her first +officer. He, at least, was not appalled, but grimly conscious of the +greatness of the task to which they had set their hands. The sudden +transformation of conservative St. John's was no more amazing than that +of the son of a family which had never been without influence in the +community. But that influence had always been conservative. And Phil +Goodrich had hitherto taken but a listless interest in the church of his +fathers. Fortune had smiled upon him, trusts had come to him unsought. +He had inherited the family talent for the law, the freedom to practise +when and where he chose. His love of active sport had led him into many +vacations, when he tramped through marsh and thicket after game, and at +five and forty there was not an ounce of superfluous flesh on his hard +body. In spite of his plain speaking, an overwhelming popularity at +college had followed him to his native place, and no organization, +sporting or serious, was formed in the city that the question was not +asked, "What does Goodrich think about it?" + +His whole-souled enlistment in the cause of what was regarded as radical +religion became, therefore, the subject of amazed comment in the many +clubs he now neglected. The "squabble" in St. John's, as it was +generally referred to, had been aired in the press, but such was the +magic in a name made without conscious effort that Phil Goodrich's +participation in the struggle had a palpably disarming effect: and there +were not a few men who commonly spent their Sunday mornings behind plate- +glass windows, surrounded by newspapers, as well as some in the athletic +club (whose contests Mr. Goodrich sometimes refereed) who went to St. +John's out of curiosity and who waited, afterwards, for an interview with +Phil or the rector. The remark of one of these was typical of others. +He had never taken much stock in religion, but if Goodrich went in for +it he thought he'd go and look it over. + +Scarcely a day passed that Phil did not drop in at the parish house.... +And he set himself, with all the vigour of an unsquandered manhood, to +help Hodder to solve the multitude of new problems by which they were +beset. + +A free church was a magnificent ideal, but how was it to be carried on +without an Eldon Parr, a Ferguson, a Constable, a Mrs. Larrabbee, or a +Gore who would make up the deficit at the end of the year? Could weekly +contributions, on the envelope system, be relied upon, provided the +people continued to come and fill the pews of absent and outraged +parishioners? The music was the most expensive in the city, although +Mr. Taylor, the organist, had come to the rector and offered to cut his +salary in half, and to leave that in abeyance until the finances could be +adjusted. And his example had been followed by some of the high-paid men +in the choir. Others had offered to sing without pay. And there were +the expenses of the parish house, an alarming sum now Eldon Parr had +withdrawn: the salaries of the assistants. Hodder, who had saved a +certain sum in past years, would take nothing for the present . . . . +Asa Waring and Phil Goodrich borrowed on their own responsibility . . . + + + +II + +Something of the overwhelming nature of the forces Hodder had summoned +was visibly apparent on that first Sunday after what many had called his +apostasy. Instead of the orderly, sprucely-dressed groups of people +which were wont to linger in greetings before the doors of St. John's, +a motley crowd thronged the pavement and streamed into the church, +pressing up the aisles and invading the sacred precincts where decorous +parishioners had for so many years knelt in comfort and seclusion. +The familiar figure of Gordon Atterbury was nowhere to be seen, and the +Atterbury pew was occupied by shop-girls in gaudy hats. Eldon Parr's pew +was filled, Everett Constable's, Wallis Plimpton's; and the ushers who +had hastily been mustered were awestricken and powerless. Such a +resistless invasion by the hordes of the unknown might well have struck +with terror some of those who hitherto had had the courage to standup +loyally in the rector's support. It had a distinct flavour of +revolution: contained, for some, a grim suggestion of a time when that +vague, irresponsible, and restless monster, the mob, would rise in its +might and brutally and inexorably take possession of all property. + +Alison had met Eleanor Goodrich in Burton Street, and as the two made +their way into the crowded vestibule they encountered Martha Preston, +whose husband was Alison's cousin, in the act of flight. + +"You're not going in!" she exclaimed. + +"Of course we are." + +Mrs. Preston stared at Alison in amazement. + +"I didn't know you were still here," she said, irrelevantly. "I'm pretty +liberal, my dear, as you know,--but this is more than I can stand. Look +at them!" She drew up her skirts as a woman brushed against her. +"I believe in the poor coming to church, and all that, but this is mere +vulgar curiosity, the result of all that odious advertising in the +newspapers. My pew is filled with them. If I had stayed, I should have +fainted. I don't know what to think of Mr. Hodder." + +"Mr. Hodder is not to blame for the newspapers," replied Alison, warmly. +She glanced around her at the people pushing past, her eyes shining, her +colour high, and there was the ring of passion in her voice which had do +Martha Preston a peculiarly disquieting effect. "I think it's splendid +that they are here at all! I don't care what brought them." + +Mrs. Preston stared again. She was a pretty, intelligent woman, at whose +dinner table one was sure to hear the discussion of some "modern +problem": she believed herself to be a socialist. Her eyes sought +Eleanor Goodrich's, who stood by, alight with excitement. + +"But surely you, Eleanor-you're not going in! You'll never be able to +stand it, even if you find a seat. The few people we know who've come +are leaving. I just saw the Allan Pendletons." + +"Have you seen Phil?" Eleanor asked. + +"Oh, yes, he's in there, and even he's helpless. And as I came out poor +Mr. Bradley was jammed up against the wall. He seemed perfectly stunned +. . . ." + +At this moment they were thrust apart. Eleanor quivered as she was +carried through the swinging doors into the church. + +"I think you're right," she whispered to Alison, "it is splendid. +There's something about it that takes hold of me, that carries one away. +It makes me wonder how it can be guided--what will come of it?" + +They caught sight of Phil pushing his way towards them, and his face bore +the set look of belligerency which Eleanor knew so well, but he returned +her smile. Alison's heart warmed towards him. + +"What do you think of this?" he demanded. "Most of our respectable +friends who dared to come have left in a towering rage--to institute +lawsuits, probably. At tiny rate, strangers are not being made to wait +until ten minutes after the service begins. That's one barbarous custom +abolished." + +"Strangers seem to have taken matters in their own hands for once" +Eleanor smiled. "We've made up our minds to stay, Phil, even if we have +to stand." + +"That's the right spirit," declared her husband, glancing at Alison, who +had remained silent, with approval and by no means a concealed surprise. +"I think I know of a place where I can squeeze you in, near Professor +Bridges and Sally, on the side aisle." + +"Are George and Sally here?" Eleanor exclaimed. + +"Hodder," said Phil, "is converting the heathen. You couldn't have kept +George away. And it was George who made Sally stay!" + +Presently they found themselves established between a rawboned young +workingman who smelled strongly of soap, whose hair was plastered tightly +against his forehead, and a young woman who leaned against the wall. The +black in which she was dressed enhanced the whiteness and weariness of +her face, and she sat gazing ahead of her, apparently unconscious of +those who surrounded her, her hands tightly folded in her lap. In their +immediate vicinity, indeed, might have been found all the variety of type +seen in the ordinary street car. And in truth there were some who seemed +scarcely to realize they were not in a public vehicle. An elaborately +dressed female in front of them, whose expansive hat brushed her +neighbours, made audible comments to a stout man with a red neck which +was set in a crease above his low collar. + +"They tell me Eldon Parr's pew has a gold plate on it. I wish I knew +which it was. It ain't this one, anyway, I'll bet." + +"Say, they march in in this kind of a church, don't they?" some one said +behind them. + +Eleanor, with her lips tightly pressed, opened her prayer book. Alison's +lips were slightly parted as she gazed about her, across the aisle. Her +experience of the Sunday before, deep and tense as it had been, seemed as +nothing compared to this; the presence of all these people stimulated her +inexpressibly, fired her; and she felt the blood pulsing through her +body as she contrasted this gathering with the dignified, scattered +congregation she had known. She scarcely recognized the church itself +. . . She speculated on the homes from which these had come, and the +motives which had brought them. + +For a second the perfume of the woman in front, mingling with other less +definable odours, almost sickened her, evoking suggestions of tawdry, +trivial, vulgar lives, fed on sensation and excitement; but the feeling +was almost immediately swept away by a renewed sense of the bigness of +the thing which she beheld,--of which, indeed, she was a part. And her +thoughts turned more definitely to the man who had brought it all about. +Could he control it, subdue it? Here was Opportunity suddenly upon him, +like a huge, curving, ponderous wave. Could he ride it? or would it +crush him remorselessly? + +Sensitive, alert, quickened as she was, she began to be aware of other +values: of the intense spiritual hunger in the eyes of the woman in +black, the yearning of barren, hopeless existences. And here and there +Alison's look fell upon more prosperous individuals whose expressions +proclaimed incredulity, a certain cynical amusement at the spectacle: +others seemed uneasy, as having got more than they had bargained for, +deliberating whether to flee . . . and then, just as her suspense was +becoming almost unbearable, the service began. . . . + +How it had been accomplished, the thing she later felt, was beyond the +range of intellectual analysis. Nor could she have told how much later, +since the passage of time had gone unnoticed. Curiosities, doubts, +passions, longings, antagonisms--all these seemed--as the most natural +thing in the world--to have been fused into one common but ineffable +emotion. Such, at least, was the impression to which Alison startlingly +awoke. All the while she had been conscious of Hodder, from the moment +she had heard his voice in the chancel; but somehow this consciousness of +him had melted, imperceptibly, into that of the great congregation, once +divided against itself, which had now achieved unity of soul. + +The mystery as to how this had been effected was the more elusive when +she considered the absence of all methods which might have been deemed +revivalistic. Few of those around her evinced a familiarity with the +historic service. And then occurred to her his explanation of +personality as the medium by which all truth is revealed, by which the +current of religion, the motive power in all history, is transmitted. +Surely this was the explanation, if it might be called one! That +tingling sense of a pervading spirit which was his,--and yet not his. +He was the incandescent medium, and yet, paradoxically, gained in +identity and individuality and was inseparable from the thing itself. + +She could not see him. A pillar hid the chancel from her view. + +The service, to which she had objected as archaic, became subordinate, +spiritualized, dominated by the personality. Hodder had departed from +the usual custom by giving out the page of the psalter: and the verses, +the throbbing responses which arose from every corner of the church, +assumed a new significance, the vision of the ancient seer revived. One +verse he read resounded with prophecy. + +"Thou shalt deliver me from the strivings of the people: and thou shalt +make me the head of the heathen." + +And the reply: + +"A people whom I have not known shall serve me." + +The working-man next to Alison had no prayer-book. She thrust her own +into his hand, and they read from it together . . . . + +When they came to the second hymn the woman in front of her had +wonderfully shed her vulgarity. Her voice--a really good one--poured +itself out: + + "See a long race thy spacious courts adorn, + See future sons, and daughters yet unborn, + In crowding ranks on every side arise, + Demanding life, impatient for the skies." + +Once Alison would have been critical of the words She was beyond that, +now. What did it matter, if the essential Thing were present? + +The sermon was a surprise. And those who had come for excitement, +for the sensation of hearing a denunciation of a class they envied and +therefore hated, and nevertheless strove to imitate, were themselves +rebuked. Were not their standards the same? And if the standard were +false, it followed inevitably that the life was false also. + +Hodder fairly startled these out of their preconceived notions of +Christianity. Let them shake out of their minds everything they had +thought it to mean, churchgoing, acceptance of creed and dogma, +contributive charity, withdrawal from the world, rites and ceremonies: +it was none of these. + +The motive in the world to-day was the acquisition of property; the +motive of Christianity was absolutely and uncompromisingly opposed to +this. Shock their practical sense as it might, Christianity looked +forward with steadfast faith to a time when the incentive to amass +property would be done away with, since it was a source of evil and +a curse to mankind. If they would be Christians, let them face that. +Let them enter into life, into the struggles going on around them to-day +against greed, corruption, slavery, poverty, vice and crime. Let them +protest, let them fight, even as Jesus Christ had fought and protested. +For as sure as they sat there the day would come when they would be +called to account, would be asked the question--what had they done to +make the United States of America a better place to live in? + +There were in the Apostolic writings and tradition misinterpretations +of life which had done much harm. Early Christianity had kept its eyes +fixed on another world, and had ignored this: had overlooked the fact +that every man and woman was put here to do a particular work. In the +first epistle of Peter the advice was given, "submit yourselves to every +ordinance of man for the Lord's sake." But Christ had preached +democracy, responsibility, had foreseen a millennium, the fulfilment of +his Kingdom, when all men, inspired by the Spirit, would make and keep +in spirit the ordinances of God. + +Before they could do God's work and man's work they must first be +awakened, filled with desire. Desire was power. And he prayed that some +of them, on this day, would receive that desire, that power which nothing +could resist. The desire which would lead each and every one to the +gates of the Inner World which was limitless and eternal, filled with +dazzling light . . . . + +Let them have faith then. Not credulity in a vague God they could not +imagine, but faith in the Spirit of the Universe, humanity, in Jesus +Christ who had been the complete human revelation of that Spirit, who had +suffered and died that man might not live in ignorance of it. To doubt +humanity,--such was the Great Refusal, the sin against the Holy Ghost, +the repudiation of the only true God! + +After a pause, he spoke simply of his hope for St. John's. If he +remained here his ambition was that it would be the free temple of +humanity, of Jesus Christ, supported not by a few, but by all,--each in +accordance with his means. Of those who could afford nothing, nothing +would be required. Perhaps this did not sound practical, nor would it be +so if the transforming inspiration failed. He could only trust and try, +hold up to them the vision of the Church as a community of willing +workers for the Kingdom . . . + + + +III + +After the service was over the people lingered in the church, standing in +the pews and aisles, as though loath to leave. The woman with the +perfume and the elaborate hat was heard to utter a succinct remark. + +"Say, Charlie, I guess he's all right. I never had it put like that." + +The thick-necked man's reply was inaudible. + +Eleanor Goodrich was silent and a little pale as she pressed close to +Alison. Her imagination had been stretched, as it were, and she was +still held in awe by the vastness of what she had heard and seen. Vaster +even than ever,--so it appeared now,--demanding greater sacrifices than +she had dreamed of. She looked back upon the old as at receding shores. + +Alison, with absorbed fascination, watched the people; encountered, here +and there, recognitions from men and women with whom she had once danced +and dined in what now seemed a previous existence. Why had they come? +and how had they received the message? She ran into a little man, a +dealer in artists' supplies who once had sold her paints and brushes, who +stared and bowed uncertainly. She surprised him by taking his hand. + +"Did you like it?" she asked, impulsively. + +"It's what I've been thinking for years, Miss Parr," he responded, +"thinking and feeling. But I never knew it was Christianity. And I +never thought--" he stopped and looked at her, alarmed. + +"Oh," she said, "I believe in it, too--or try to." + +She left him, mentally gasping . . . . Without, on the sidewalk, +Eleanor Goodrich was engaged in conversation with a stockily built man, +inclined to stoutness; he had a brown face and a clipped, bristly +mustache. Alison paused involuntarily, and saw him start and hesitate +as his clear, direct gaze met her own. + +Bedloe Hubbell was one of those who had once sought to marry her. She +recalled him as an amiable and aimless boy; and after she had gone East +she had received with incredulity and then with amusement the news of his +venture into altruistic politics. It was his efficiency she had doubted, +not his sincerity. Later tidings, contemptuous and eventually irritable +utterances of her own father, together with accounts in the New York +newspapers of his campaign, had convinced her in spite of herself that +Bedloe Hubbell had actually shaken the seats of power. And somehow, as +she now took him in, he looked it. + +His transformation was one of the signs, one of the mysteries of the +times. The ridicule and abuse of the press, the opposition and enmity of +his childhood friends, had developed the man of force she now beheld, and +who came forward to greet her. + +"Alison!" he exclaimed. He had changed in one sense, and not in another. +Her colour deepened as the sound of his voice brought back the lapsed +memories of the old intimacy. For she had been kind to him, kinder than +to any other; and the news of his marriage--to a woman from the Pacific +coast--had actually induced in her certain longings and regrets. When +the cards had reached her, New York and the excitement of the life into +which she had been weakly, if somewhat unwittingly, drawn had already +begun to pall. + +"I'm so glad to see you," she told him. "I've heard--so many things. +And I'm very much in sympathy with what you're doing." + +They crossed the street, and walked away from the church together. She +had surprised him, and made him uncomfortable. + +"You've been away so long," he managed to say, "perhaps you do not +realize--" + +"Oh, yes, I do," she interrupted. "I am on the other side, on your side. +I thought of writing you, when you nearly won last autumn." + +"You see it, too?" he exclaimed. + +"Yes, I've changed, too. Not so much as you," she added, shyly. +"I always had a certain sympathy, you know, with the Robin Hoods." + +He laughed at her designation, both pleased and taken aback by her +praise. . . But he wondered if she knew the extent of his criticism +of her father. + +"That rector is a wonderful man," he broke out, irrelevantly. "I can't +get over' him--I can't quite grasp the fact that he exists, that he has +dared to do what he has done." + +This brought her colour back, but she faced him bravely. You think he is +wonderful, then?" + +"Don't you?" he demanded. + +She assented. "But I am curious to know why you do. Somehow, I never +thought of--you--" + +"As religious," he supplied. "And you? If I remember rightly--" + +"Yes," she interrupted, "I revolted, too. But Mr. Hodder puts it so +--it makes one wonder." + +"He has not only made me wonder," declared Bedloe Hubbell, emphatically, +"I never knew what religion was until I heard this man last Sunday." + +"Last Sunday!" + +"Until then, I hadn't been inside of a church for fifteen years,--except +to get married. My wife takes the children, occasionally, to a +Presbyterian church near us." + +"And why, did you go then?" she asked. + +"I am a little ashamed of my motive," he confessed. "There were rumours +--I don't pretend to know how they got about--" he hesitated, once more +aware of delicate ground. "Wallis Plimpton said something to a man who +told me. I believe I went out of sheer curiosity to hear what Hodder +would have to say. And then, I had been reading, wondering whether there +were anything in Christianity, after all." + +"Yes?" she said, careless now as to what cause he might attribute her +eagerness. "And he gave you something?" + +It was then she grasped the truth that this sudden renewed intimacy was +the result of the impression Hodder had left upon the minds of both. + +"He gave me everything," Bedloe Hubbell replied. "I am willing to +acknowledge it freely. In his explanation of the parable of the Prodigal +Son, he gave me the clew to our modern times. What was for me an +inextricable puzzle has become clear as day. He has made me understand, +at last, the force which stirred me, which goaded me until I was fairly +compelled to embark in the movement which the majority of our citizens +still continue to regard as quixotic. I did not identify that force with +religion, then, and when I looked back on the first crazy campaign we +embarked upon, with the whole city laughing at me and at the obscure +and impractical personnel we had, there were moments when it seemed +incomprehensible folly. I had nothing to gain, and everything to lose by +such a venture. I was lazy and easy-going, as you know. I belonged to +the privileged class, I had sufficient money to live in comparative +luxury all my days, I had no grudge against these men whom I had known +all my life." + +"But it must have had some beginning," said Alison. + +"I was urged to run for the city council, by these very men." Bedloe +Hubbell smiled at the recollection. "They accuse me now of having +indulged once in the same practice, for which I am condemning them. +Our company did accept rebates, and we sought favours from the city +government. I have confessed it freely on the platform. Even during my +first few months in the council what may be called the old political +practices seemed natural to me. But gradually the iniquity of it all +began to dawn on me, and then I couldn't rest until I had done something +towards stopping it. + +"At length I began to see," he continued, "that education of the masses +was to be our only preserver, that we should have to sink or swim by +that. I began to see, dimly, that this was true for other movements +going on to-day. Now comes Hodder with what I sincerely believe is the +key. He compels men like me to recognize that our movements are not +merely moral, but religious. Religion, as yet unidentified, is the force +behind these portentous stirrings of politics in our country, from sea to +sea. He aims, not to bring the Church into politics, but to make her the +feeder of these movements. Men join them to-day from all motives, but +the religious is the only one to which they may safely be trusted. He +has rescued the jewel from the dust-heap of tradition, and holds it up, +shining, before our eyes." + +Alison looked at her companion. + +"That," she said, "is a very beautiful phrase." + +Bedloe Hubbell smiled queerly. + +"I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I can't usually talk about +it. But the sight of that congregation this morning, mixed as it was, +and the way he managed to weld it together." + +"Ah, you noticed that!" she exclaimed sharply. + +"Noticed it!" + +"I know. It was a question of feeling it." + +There was a silence. + +"Will he succeed?" she asked presently. + +"Ah," said Bedloe Hubbell, "how is it possible to predict it? The forces +against him are tremendous, and it is usually the pioneer who suffers. +I agree absolutely with his definition of faith, I have it. And the work +he has done already can never be undone. The time is ripe, and it is +something that he has men like Phil Goodrich behind him, and Mr. Waring. +I'm going to enlist, and from now on I intend to get every man and woman +upon whom I have any influence whatever to go to that church . . . ." +A little later Alison, marvelling, left him. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI + +THE CURRENT OF LIFE + + +I + +The year when Hodder had gone east--to Bremerton and Bar Harbor, +he had read in the train a magazine article which had set fire to his +imagination. It had to do with the lives of the men, the engineers who +dared to deal with the wild and terrible power of the western hills, who +harnessed and conquered roaring rivers, and sent the power hundreds of +miles over the wilderness, by flimsy wires, to turn the wheels of +industry and light the dark places of the cities. And, like all men who +came into touch with elemental mysteries, they had their moments of pure +ecstasy, gaining a tingling, intenser life from the contact with dynamic +things; and other moments when, in their struggle for mastery, they were +buffeted about, scorched, and almost overwhelmed. + +In these days the remembrance of that article came back to Hodder. +It was as though he, too, were seeking to deflect and guide a force-- +the Force of forces. He, too, was buffeted, scorched, and bruised, +at periods scarce given time to recover himself in the onward rush he +himself had started, and which he sought to control. Problems arose +which demanded the quick thinking of emergency. He, too, had his moments +of reward, the reward of the man who is in touch with reality. + +He lived, from day to day, in a bewildering succession of encouragements +and trials, all unprecedented. If he remained at St. John's, an entire +new organization would be necessary . . . . He did not as yet see it +clearly; and in the meantime, with his vestry alienated, awaiting the +bishop's decision, he could make no definite plans, even if he had had +the leisure. Wholesale desertions had occurred in the guilds and +societies, the activities of which had almost ceased. Little Tomkinson, +the second assistant, had resigned; and McCrae, who worked harder than +ever before, was already marked, Hodder knew, for dismissal if he himself +were defeated. + +And then there was the ever present question of money. It remained to +be seen whether a system of voluntary offerings were practicable. For +Hodder had made some inquiries into the so-called "free churches," only +to discover that there were benefactors behind them, benefactors the +Christianity of whose lives was often doubtful. + +One morning he received in the mail the long-expected note from the +bishop, making an appointment for the next day. Hodder, as he read it +over again, smiled to himself. . . He could gather nothing of the mind +of the writer from the contents. + +The piece of news which came to him on the same morning swept completely +the contemplations of the approaching interview from his mind. Sally +Grover stopped in at the parish house on her way to business. + +"Kate Marcy's gone," she announced, in her abrupt fashion. + +"Gone!" he exclaimed, and stared at her in dismay. "Gone where?" + +"That's just it," said Miss Grover. "I wish I knew. I reckon we'd got +into the habit of trusting her too much, but it seemed the only way. She +wasn't in her room last night, but Ella Finley didn't find it out until +this morning, and she ran over scared to death, to tell us about it." + +Involuntarily the rector reached for his hat. + +"I've sent out word among our friends in Dalton Street," Sally continued. +An earthquake could not have disturbed her outer, matter-of-fact +calmness. But Hodder was not deceived: he knew that she was as +profoundly grieved and discouraged as himself. "And I've got old Gratz, +the cabinet-maker, on the job. If she's in Dalton Street, he'll find +her." + +"But what--?" Hodder began. + +Sally threw up her hands. + +"You never can tell, with that kind. But it sticks in my mind she's done +something foolish." + +"Foolish?" + +Sally twitched, nervously. + +"Somehow I don't think it's a spree--but as I say, you can't tell. She's +full of impulses. You remember how she frightened us once before, when +she went off and stayed all night with the woman she used to know in the +flat house, when she heard she was sick?" + +Hodder nodded. + +"You've inquired there?" + +"That woman went to the hospital, you know. She may be with another one. +If she is, Gratz ought to find her. . . You know there was a time, Mr. +Hodder, when I didn't have much hope that we'd pull her through. But we +got hold of her through her feelings. She'd do anything for Mr. Bentley +--she'd do anything for you, and the way she stuck to that embroidery was +fine. I don't say she was cured, but whenever she'd feel one of those +fits coming on she'd let us know about it, and we'd watch her. And I +never saw one of that kind change so. Why, she must be almost as good +looking now as she ever was." + +"You don't think she has done anything--desperate?" asked Hodder, slowly. + +Sally comprehended. + +"Well--somehow I don't. She used to say if she ever got drunk again +she'd never come back. But she didn't have any money--she's given Mr. +Bentley every cent of it. And we didn't have any warning. She was as +cheerful as could be yesterday morning, Mrs. McQuillen says." + +"It might not do any harm to notify the police," replied Hodder, rising. +"I'll go around to headquarters now." + +He was glad of the excuse for action. He could not have sat still. And +as he walked rapidly across Burton Street he realized with a pang how +much his heart had been set on Kate Marcy's redemption. In spite of the +fact that every moment of his time during the past fortnight had been +absorbed by the cares, responsibilities, and trials thrust upon him, he +reproached himself for not having gone oftener to Dalton Street. And +yet, if Mr. Bentley and Sally Grower had been unable to foresee and +prevent this, what could he have done? + +At police headquarters he got no news. The chief received him +deferentially, sympathetically, took down Kate Marcy's description, +went so far as to remark, sagely, that too much mustn't be expected +of these women, and said he would notify the rector if she were found. +The chief knew and admired Mr. Bentley, and declared he was glad to meet +Mr. Hodder. . . Hodder left, too preoccupied to draw any significance +from the nature of his welcome. He went at once to Mr. Bentley's. + +The old gentleman was inclined to be hopeful, to take Sally Grower's view +of the matter. . He trusted, he said, Sally's instinct. And Hodder +came away less uneasy, not a little comforted by a communion which never +failed to fortify him, to make him marvel at the calmness of that world +in which his friend lived, a calmness from which no vicarious sorrow was +excluded. And before Hodder left, Mr. Bentley had drawn from him some +account of the more recent complexities at the church. The very pressure +of his hand seemed to impart courage. + +"You won't stay and have dinner with me?" + +The rector regretfully declined. + +"I hear the bishop has returned," said Mr. Bentley, smiling. + +Hodder was surprised. He had never heard Mr. Bentley speak of the +bishop. Of course he must know him. + +"I have my talk with him to-morrow." + +"Mr. Bentley said nothing, but pressed his hand again . . . . + +On Tower Street, from the direction of the church, he beheld a young man +and a young woman approaching him absorbed in conversation. Even at a +distance both seemed familiar, and presently he identified the lithe and +dainty figure in the blue dress as that of the daughter of his vestryman, +Francis Ferguson. Presently she turned her face, alight with animation, +from her companion, and recognized him. + +"It's Mr. Hodder!" she exclaimed, and was suddenly overtaken with a +crimson shyness. The young man seemed equally embarrassed as they stood +facing the rector. + +"I'm afraid you don't remember me, Mr. Hodder," he said. "I met you at +Mr. Ferguson's last spring." + +Then it came to him. This was the young man who had made the faux pas +which had caused Mrs. Ferguson so much consternation, and who had so +manfully apologized afterwards. His puzzled expression relaxed into a +smile, and he took the young man's hand. + +"I was going to write to you," said Nan, as she looked up at the rector +from under the wide brim of her hat. "Our engagement is to be announced +Wednesday." + +Hodder congratulated them. There was a brief silence, when Nan said +tremulously: + +"We're coming to St. John's!" + +"I'm very glad," Hodder replied, gravely. It was one of those +compensating moments, for him, when his tribulations vanished; and the +tributes of the younger generation were those to which his heart most +freely responded. But the situation, in view of the attitude of Francis +Ferguson, was too delicate to be dwelt upon. + +"I came to hear you last Sunday, Mr. Hodder," the young man volunteered, +with that mixture of awkwardness and straightforwardness which often +characterize his sex and age in referring to such matters. "And I had +an idea of writing you, too, to tell you how much I liked what you said. +But I know you must have had many letters. You've made me think." + +He flushed, but met the rector's eye. Nan stood regarding him with +pride. + +"You've made me think, too," she added. "And we intend to pitch in and +help you, if we can be of any use." + +He parted from them, wondering. And it was not until he had reached the +parish house that it occurred to him that he was as yet unenlightened as +to the young man's name . . . . + +His second reflection brought back to his mind Kate Mercy, for it was +with a portion of Nan Ferguson's generous check that her board had been +paid. And he recalled the girl's hope, as she had given it to him, that +he would find some one in Dalton Street to help . . . . + + + +II + +There might, to the mundane eye, have been an element of the ridiculous +in the spectacle of the rector of St. John's counting his gains, since he +had chosen--with every indication of insanity--to bring the pillars of +his career crashing down on his own head. By no means the least, +however, of the treasures flung into his lap was the tie which now bound +him to the Philip Goodriches, which otherwise would never have been +possible. And as he made his way thither on this particular evening, a +renewed sense came upon him of his emancipation from the dreary, useless +hours he had been wont to spend at other dinner tables. That existence +appeared to him now as the glittering, feverish unreality of a nightmare +filled with restless women and tired men who drank champagne, thus +gradually achieving--by the time cigars were reached--an artificial +vivacity. The caprice and superficiality of the one sex, the inability +to dwell upon or even penetrate a serious subject, the blindness to what +was going on around them; the materialism, the money standard of both, +were nauseating in the retrospect. + +How, indeed, had life once appeared so distorted to him, a professed +servant of humanity, as to lead him in the name of duty into that galley? + +Such was the burden of his thought when the homelike front of the +Goodrich house greeted him in the darkness, its enshrouded windows +gleaming with friendly light. As the door opened, the merry sound of +children's laughter floated down the stairs, and it seemed to Hodder as +though a curse had been lifted. . . . The lintel of this house had +been marked for salvation, the scourge had passed it by: the scourge of +social striving which lay like a blight on a free people. + +Within, the note of gentility, of that instinctive good taste to which +many greater mansions aspired in vain, was sustained. The furniture, the +pictures, the walls and carpets were true expressions of the +individuality of master and mistress, of the unity of the life lived +together; and the rector smiled as he detected, in a corner of the hall, +a sturdy but diminutive hobby-horse--here the final, harmonious touch. +There was the sound of a scuffle, treble shrieks of ecstasy from above, +and Eleanor Goodrich came out to welcome him. + +"Its Phil," she told him in laughing despair, "he upsets all my +discipline, and gets them so excited they don't go to sleep for hours..." + +Seated in front of the fire in the drawing-room, he found Alison Parr. +Her coolness, her radiancy, her complete acceptance of the situation, all +this and more he felt from the moment he touched her hand and looked into +her face. And never had she so distinctly represented to him the +mysterious essence of fate. Why she should have made the fourth at this +intimate gathering, and whether or not she was or had been an especial +friend of Eleanor Goodrich he did not know. There was no explanation.... + +A bowl of superb chrysanthemums occupied the centre of the table. +Eleanor lifted them off and placed them on the sideboard. + +"I've got used to looking at Phil," she explained, "and craning is so +painful." + +The effect at first was to increase the intensity of the intimacy. There +was no reason--he told himself--why Alison's self-possession should have +been disturbed; and as he glanced at her from time to time he perceived +that it was not. So completely was she mistress of herself that +presently he felt a certain faint resentment rising within him,--yet +he asked himself why she should not have been. It was curious that his +imagination would not rise, now, to a realization of that intercourse on +which, at times, his fancy had dwelt with such vividness. The very +interest, the eagerness with which she took part in their discussions +seemed to him in the nature of an emphatic repudiation of any ties to him +which might have been binding. + +All this was only, on Hodder's part, to be aware of the startling +discovery as to how strong his sense of possession had been, and how +irrational, how unwarranted. + +For he had believed himself, as regarding her, to have made the supreme +renunciation of his life. And the very fact that he had not consulted, +could not consult her feelings and her attitude made that renunciation no +less difficult. All effort, all attempt at achievement of the only woman +for whom he had ever felt the sublime harmony of desire--the harmony of +the mind and the flesh--was cut off. + +To be here, facing her again in such close proximity, was at once a +pleasure and a torture. And gradually he found himself yielding to the +pleasure, to the illusion of permanency created by her presence. +And, when all was said, he had as much to be grateful for as he could +reasonably have wished; yes, and more. The bond (there was a bond, after +all!) which united them was unbreakable. They had forged it together. +The future would take care of itself. + +The range of the conversation upon which they at length embarked was a +tacit acknowledgment of a relationship which now united four persons who, +six months before, would have believed themselves to have had nothing +in common. And it was characteristic of the new interest that it +transcended the limits of the parish of St. John's, touched upon the +greater affairs to which that parish--if their protest prevailed--would +now be dedicated. Not that the church was at once mentioned, but subtly +implied as now enlisted,--and emancipated henceforth from all +ecclesiastical narrowness . . . . The amazing thing by which Hodder +was suddenly struck was the naturalness with which Alison seemed to fit +into the new scheme. It was as though she intended to remain there, and +had abandoned all intention of returning to the life which apparently she +had once permanently and definitely chosen.... + +Bedloe Hubbell's campaign was another topic. And Phil had observed, +with the earnestness which marked his more serious statements, that it +wouldn't surprise him if young Carter, Hubbell's candidate for mayor, +overturned that autumn the Beatty machine. + +"Oh, do you think so!" Alison exclaimed with exhilaration. + +"They're frightened and out of breath," said Phil, "they had no idea +that Bedloe would stick after they had licked him in three campaigns. +Two years ago they tried to buy him off by offering to send him to the +Senate, and Wallis Plimpton has never got through his head to this why +he refused." + +Plimpton's head, Eleanor declared dryly, was impervious to a certain kind +of idea. + +"I wonder if you know, Mr. Hodder, what an admirer Mr. Hubbell is of +yours?" Alison asked. "He is most anxious to have a talk with you." + +Hodder did not know. + +"Well," said Phil, enthusiastically, to the rector, "that's the best +tribute you've had yet. I can't say that Bedloe was a more unregenerate +heathen than I was, but he was pretty bad." + +This led them, all save Hodder, into comments on the character of the +congregation the Sunday before, in the midst of which the rector was +called away to the telephone. Sally Grover had promised to let him know +whether or not they had found Kate Marcy, and his face was grave when he +returned . . . . He was still preoccupied, an hour later, when Alison +arose to go. + +"But your carriage isn't here," said Phil, going to the window. + +"Oh, I preferred to, walk," she told him, "it isn't far." + + + +III + +A blood-red October moon shed the fulness of its light on the silent +houses, and the trees, still clinging to leaf, cast black shadows across +the lawns and deserted streets. The very echoes of their footsteps on +the pavement seemed to enhance the unreality of their surroundings: Some +of the residences were already closed for the night, although the hour +was not late, and the glow behind the blinds of the others was nullified +by the radiancy from above. To Hodder, the sense of their isolation had +never been more complete. + +Alison, while repudiating the notion that an escort were needed in a +neighbourhood of such propriety and peace, had not refused his offer to +accompany her. And Hodder felt instinctively, as he took his place +beside her, a sense of climax. This situation, like those of the past, +was not of his own making. It was here; confronting him, and a certain +inevitable intoxication at being once, more alone with her prevented him +from forming any policy with which to deal with it. He might either +trust himself, or else he might not. And as she said, the distance was +not great. But he could not help wondering, during those first moments +of silence, whether she comprehended the strength of the temptation to +which she subjected him . . . . + +The night was warm. She wore a coat, which was open, and from time to +time he caught the gleam of the moonlight on the knotted pearls at her +throat. Over her head she had flung, mantilla-like, a black lace scarf, +the effect of which was, in the soft luminosity encircling her, to add to +the quality of mystery never exhausted. If by acquiescing in his company +she had owned to a tie between them, the lace shawl falling over the +tails of her dark hair and framing in its folds her face, had somehow +made her once more a stranger. Nor was it until she presently looked up +into his face with a smile that this impression was, if not at once +wholly dissipated, at least contradicted. + +Her question, indeed, was intimate. + +"Why did you come with me?" + +"Why?" he repeated, taken aback. + +"Yes. I'm sure you have something you wish to do, something which +particularly worries you." + +"No," he answered, appraising her intuition of him, "there is nothing I +can do, to-night. A young woman in whom Mr. Bentley is interested, in +whom I am interested, has disappeared. But we have taken all the steps +possible towards finding her." + +"It was nothing--more serious, then? That, of course, is serious enough. +Nothing, I mean, directly affecting your prospects of remaining--where +you are?" + +"No," he answered. He rejoiced fiercely that she should have asked him. +The question was not bold, but a natural resumption of the old footing +"Not that I mean to imply," he added, returning her smile, "that those +prospects' are in any way improved." + +"Are they any worse?" she said. + +"I see the bishop to-morrow. I have no idea what position he will take. +But even if he should decide not to recommend me for trial many difficult +problems still remain to be solved." + +"I know. It's fine," she continued, after a moment, "the way you are +going ahead as if there were no question of your not remaining; and +getting all those people into the church and influencing them as you did +when they had come for all sorts of reasons. Do you remember, the first +time I met you, I told you I could not think of you as a clergyman. I +cannot now--less than ever." + +"What do you think of me as?" he asked. + +"I don't know," she considered. "You are unlike any person I have ever +known. It is curious that I cannot now even think of St. John's as a +church. You have transformed it into something that seems new. I'm +afraid I can't describe what I mean, but you have opened it up, let in +the fresh air, rid it of the musty and deadening atmosphere which I have +always associated with churches. I wanted to see you, before I went +away," she went on steadily, "and when Eleanor mentioned that you were +coming to her house to-night, I asked her to invite me. Do you think me +shameless?" + +The emphasis of his gesture was sufficient. He could not trust himself +to speak. + +"Writing seemed so unsatisfactory, after what you had done for me, and I +never can express myself in writing. I seem to congeal." + +"After what I have done for you!" he exclaimed: "What can I have done?" + +"You have done more than you know," she answered, in a low voice. +"More, I think, than I know. How are such things to be measured, put +into words? You have effected some change in me which defies analysis, +a change of attitude,--to attempt to dogmatize it would ruin it. I +prefer to leave it undefined--not even to call it an acquisition of +faith. I have faith," she said, simply, "in what you have become, and +which has made you dare, superbly, to cast everything away. . . +It is that, more than anything you have said. What you are." + +For the instant he lost control of himself. + +"What you are," he replied. "Do you realize--can you ever realize what +your faith in me has been to me?" + +She appeared to ignore this. + +"I did not mean to say that you have not made many things clear, which +once were obscure, as I wrote you. You have convinced me that true +belief, for instance, is the hardest thing in the world, the denial of +practically all these people, who profess to believe, represent. The +majority of them insist that humanity is not to be trusted. . ." + +They had reached, in an incredibly brief time, the corner of Park Street. + +"When are you leaving?" he asked, in a voice that sounded harsh in his +own ears. + +"Come!" she said gently, "I'm not going in yet, for a while." +S +The Park lay before them, an empty, garden filled with checquered light +and shadows under the moon. He followed her across the gravel, +glistening with dew, past the statue of the mute statesman with arm +upraised, into pastoral stretches--a delectable country which was theirs +alone. He did not take it in, save as one expression of the breathing +woman at his side. He was but partly conscious of a direction he had not +chosen. His blood throbbed violently, and a feeling of actual physical +faintness was upon him. He was being led, helplessly, all volition gone, +and the very idea of resistance became chimerical . . . . + +There was a seat under a tree, beside a still lake burnished by the moon. +It seemed as though he could not bear the current of her touch, and yet +the thought of its removal were less bearable . . . For she had put +her own hand out, not shyly, but with a movement so fraught with grace, +so natural that it was but the crowning bestowal. + +"Alison!" he cried, "I can't ask it of you. I have no right--" + +"You're not asking it," she answered. "It is I who am asking it." + +"But I have no future--I may be an outcast to-morrow. I have nothing to +offer you." He spoke more firmly now, more commandingly. + +"Don't you see, dear, that it is just because your future as obscure that +I can do this? You never would have done it, I know,--and I couldn't +face that. Don't you understand that I am demanding the great +sacrifice?" + +"Sacrifice!" he repeated. His fingers turned, and closed convulsively on +hers. + +"Yes, sacrifice," she said gently. "Isn't it the braver thing?" + +Still he failed to catch her meaning. + +"Braver," she explained, with her wonderful courage, "braver if I love +you, if I need you, if I cannot do without you." + +He took her in his arms, crushing her to him in his strength, in one +ineffable brief moment finding her lips, inhaling the faint perfume of +her smooth akin. Her lithe figure lay passively against him, in +marvellous, unbelievable surrender. + +"I see what you mean," he said, at length, "I should have been a coward. +But I could not be sure that you loved me." + +So near was her face that he could detect, even under the obscurity of +the branches, a smile. + +"And so I was reduced to this! I threw my pride to the winds," she +whispered. "But I don't care. I was determined, selfishly, to take +happiness." + +"And to give it," he added, bending down to her. The supreme quality of +its essence was still to be doubted, a bright star-dust which dazzled +him, to evaporate before his waking eyes. And, try as he would, he +could not realize to the full depth the boy of contact with a being whom, +by discipline, he had trained his mind to look upon as the unattainable. +They had spoken of the future, yet in these moments any consideration of +it was blotted out. . . It was only by degrees that he collected +himself sufficiently to be able to return to it. . . Alison took up +the thread. + +"Surely," she said, "sacrifice is useless unless it means something, +unless it be a realization. It must be discriminating. And we should +both of us have remained incomplete if we had not taken--this. You would +always, I think, have been the one man for me,--but we should have lost +touch." He felt her tremble. "And I needed you. I have needed you all +my life--one in whom h might have absolute faith. That is my faith, of +which I could not tell you awhile ago. Is it--sacrilegious?" + +She looked up at him. He shook his head, thinking of his own. It seemed +the very distillation of the divine. "All my life," she went on, "I have +been waiting for the one who would risk everything. Oh, if you had +faltered the least little bit, I don't know what I should have done. +That would have destroyed what was left of me, put out, I think, the +flickering fire that remained, instead of fanning it into flame. You +cannot know how I watched you, how I prayed! I think it was prayer--I am +sure it was. And it was because you did not falter, because you risked +all, that you gained me. You have gained only what you yourself made, +more than I ever was, more than I ever expected to be." + +"Alison!" he remonstrated, "you mustn't say that." + +She straightened up and gazed at him, taking one of his hands in her +lithe fingers. + +"Oh, but I must! It is the truth. I felt that you cared--women are +surer in such matters than men. I must conceal nothing from you--nothing +of my craftiness. Women are crafty, you know. And suppose you fail? +Ah, I do not mean failure--you cannot fail, now. You have put yourself +forever beyond failure. But what I mean is, suppose you were compelled +to leave St. John's, and I came to you then as I have come now, and +begged to take my place beside you? I was afraid to risk it. I was +afraid you would not take me, even now, to-night. Do you realize how +austere you are at times, how you have frightened me?" + +"That I should ever have done that!" he said. + +"When I looked at you in the pulpit you seemed so far from me, I could +scarcely bear it. As if I had no share in you, as if you had already +gone to a place beyond, where I could not go, where I never could. Oh, +you will take me with you, now,--you won't leave me behind!" + +To this cry every fibre of his soul responded. He had thought himself, +in these minutes, to have known all feelings, all thrills, but now, +as he gathered her to him again, he was to know still another, the most +exquisite of all. That it was conferred upon him to give this woman +protection, to shield and lift her, inspire her as she inspired him--this +consciousness was the most exquisite of all, transcending all conception +of the love of woman. And the very fulness of her was beyond him. A +lifetime were insufficient to exhaust her . . . . + +"I wanted to come to you now, John. I want to share your failure, if it +comes--all your failures. Because they will be victories--don't you see? +I have never been able to achieve that kind of victory--real victory, by +myself. I have always succumbed, taken the baser, the easier thing." +Her cheek was wet. "I wasn't strong enough, by myself, and I never knew +the stronger one . . . . + +"See what my trust in you has been! I knew that you would not refuse me +in spite of the fact that the world may misunderstand, may sneer at your +taking me. I knew that you were big enough even for that, when you +understood it, coming from me. I wanted to be with you, now, that we +might fight it out together." + +"What have I done to deserve so priceless a thing?" he asked. + +She smiled at him again, her lip trembling. + +"Oh, I'm not priceless, I'm only real, I'm only human--human and tired. +You are so strong, you can't know how tired. Have you any idea why I +came out here, this summer? It was because I was desperate--because I +had almost decided to marry some one else." + +She felt him start. + +"I was afraid of it;" he said. + +"Were you? Did you think, did you wonder a little about me?" There was +a vibrant note of triumph to which he reacted. She drew away from him. +a little. "Perhaps, when you know how sordid my life has been, you won't +want me." + +"Is--Is that your faith, Alison?" he demanded. "God forbid! You have +come to a man who also has confessions to make." + +"Oh, I am glad. I want to know all of you--all, do you understand? That +will bring us even closer together. And it was one thing I felt about +you in the beginning, that day in the garden, that you had had much to +conquer--more than most men. It was a part of your force and of your +knowledge of life. You were not a sexless ascetic who preached a mere +neutral goodness. Does that shock you?" + +He smiled in turn. + +"I went away from here, as I once told you, full of a high resolution not +to trail the honour of my art--if ,I achieved art--in the dust. But I +have not only trailed my art--I trailed myself. In New York I became +contaminated,--the poison of the place, of the people with whom I came in +contact, got into my blood. Little by little I yielded--I wanted so to +succeed, to be able to confound those who had doubted and ridiculed me! +I wasn't content to wait to deny myself for the ideal. Success was in +the air. That was the poison, and I only began to realize it after it +was too late. + +"Please don't think I am asking pity--I feel that you must know. From +the very first my success--which was really failure--began to come in the +wrong way. As my father's daughter I could not be obscure. I was sought +out, I was what was called picturesque, I suppose. The women petted me, +although some of them hated me, and I had a fascination for a certain +kind of men--the wrong kind. I began going to dinners, house parties, +to recognize, that advantages came that way . . . . It seemed quite +natural. It was what many others of my profession tried to do, and they +envied me my opportunities. + +"I ought to say, in justice to myself, that I was not in the least +cynical about it. I believed I was clinging to the ideal of art, and +that all I wanted was a chance. And the people I went with had the same +characteristics, only intensified, as those I had known here. Of course +I was actually no better than the women who were striving frivolously to +get away from themselves, and the men who were fighting to get money. +Only I didn't know it. + +"Well, my chance came at last. I had done several little things, when an +elderly man who is tremendously rich, whose name you would recognize if I +mentioned it, gave me an order. For weeks, nearly every day, he came to +my studio for tea, to talk over the plans. I was really unsophisticated +then--but I can see now--well, that the garden was a secondary +consideration . . . . And the fact that I did it for him gave me a +standing I should not otherwise have had . . . . Oh, it is sickening +to look back upon, to think what an idiot I was in how little I saw.... + +"That garden launched me, and I began to have more work than I could do. +I was conscientious about it tried--tried to make every garden better +than the last. But I was a young woman, unconventionally living alone, +and by degrees the handicap of my sex was brought home to me. I did not +feel the pressure at first, and then--I am ashamed to say--it had in it +an element of excitement, a sense of power. The poison was at work. I +was amused. I thought I could carry it through, that the world had +advanced sufficiently for a woman to do anything if she only had the +courage. And I believed I possessed a true broadness of view, and could +impress it, so far as I was concerned, on others . . . . + +"As I look back upon it all, I believe my reputation for coldness saved +me, yet it was that very reputation which increased the pressure, and +sometimes I was fairly driven into a corner. It seemed to madden some +men--and the disillusionments began to come. Of course it was my fault +--I don't pretend to say it wasn't. There were many whom, instinctively, +I was on my guard against, but some I thought really nice, whom I +trusted, revealed a side I had not suspected. That was the terrible +thing! And yet I held to my ideal, tattered as it was. . . " + +Alison was silent a moment, still clinging to his hand, and when she +spoke again it was with a tremor of agitation. + +"It is hard, to tell you this, but I wish you to know. At last I met a +man, comparatively young, who was making his own way in New York, +achieving a reputation as a lawyer. Shall I tell you that I fell in love +with him? He seemed to bring a new freshness into my life when I was +beginning to feel the staleness of it. Not that I surrendered at once, +but the reservations of which I was conscious at the first gradually +disappeared--or rather I ignored them. He had charm, a magnificent self- +confidence, but I think the liberality of the opinions he expressed, in +regard to women, most appealed to me. I was weak on that side, and I +have often wondered whether he knew it. I believed him incapable of a +great refusal. + +"He agreed, if I consented to marry him, that I should have my freedom +--freedom to live in my own life and to carry on my profession. +Fortunately, the engagement was never announced, never even suspected. +One day he hinted that I should return to my father for a month or two +before the wedding . . . . The manner in which he said it suddenly +turned me cold. Oh," Alison exclaimed, "I was quite willing to go back, +to pay my father a visit, as I had done nearly every year, but--how can I +tell you?--he could not believe that I had definitely given up-my +father's money . . . . + +"I sat still and looked at him, I felt as if I were frozen, turned to +stone. And after a long while, since I would not speak to him, he went +out. . . Three months later he came back and said that I had +misunderstood him, that he couldn't live without me. I sent him away.... +Only the other day he married Amy Grant, one of my friends . . . . + +"Well, after that, I was tired--so tired! Everything seemed to go out of +life. It wasn't that I loved him any longer,--all had been crushed. But +the illusion was gone, and I saw myself as I was. And for the first time +in my life I felt defenceless, helpless. I wanted refuge. Did you ever +hear of Jennings Howe?" + +"The architect?" + +Alison nodded. "Of course you must have--he is so well known. He has +been a widower for several years. He liked my work, saw its defects, +and was always frank about them, and I designed a good many gardens in +connection with his houses. He himself is above all things an artist, +and he fell into the habit of coming to my studio and giving me friendly +advice, in the nicest way. He seemed to understand that I was going +through some sort of a crisis. He called it 'too much society.' And +then, without any warning, he asked me to marry him. + +"That is why I came out here--to think it over. I didn't love him, and I +told him so, but I respected him. + +"He never compromised in his art, and I have known him over and over to +refuse houses because certain conditions were stipulated. To marry him +was an acknowledgment of defeat. I realized that. But I had come to the +extremity where I wanted peace--peace and protection. I wanted to put +myself irrevocably beyond the old life, which simply could not have gone +on, and I saw myself in the advancing years becoming tawdry and worn, +losing little by little what I had gained at a price. + +"So I came here--to reflect, to see, as it were, if I could find +something left in me to take hold of, to build upon, to begin over again, +perhaps, by going back to the old associations. I could think of no +better place, and I knew that my father would, be going away after a few +weeks, and that I should be lone, yet with an atmosphere back of me,--my +old atmosphere. That was why I went to church the first Sunday, in order +to feel more definitely that atmosphere, to summon up more completely the +image of my mother. More and more, as the years have passed, I have +thought of her in moments of trouble. I have recovered her as I never +had hoped to do in Mr. Bentley. Isn't it strange," she exclaimed +wonderingly, "that he should have come into both our lives, with such an +influence, at this time?" + +"And then I met you, talked to you that afternoon in the garden. Shall I +make a complete confession? I wrote to Jennings Howe that very week that +I could not marry him." + +"You knew!" Hodder exclaimed: "You knew then?" + +"Ah, I can't tell what I knew--or when. I knew, after I had seen you, +that I couldn't marry him! Isn't that enough?" + +He drew in his breath deeply. + +"I should be less than a man if I refused to take you, Alison. And--no +matter what happens, I can and will find some honest work to support you. +But oh, my dear, when I think of it, the nobility and generosity of what +you have done appalls me." + +"No, no!" she protested, "you mustn't say that! I needed you more than +you need me. And haven't we both discovered the world, and renounced it? +I can at least go so far as to say that, with all my heart. And isn't +marriage truer and higher when man and wife start with difficulties and +problems to solve together? It is that thought that brings me the +greatest joy, that I may be able to help you . . . . Didn't you need +me, just a little?" + +"Now that I have you, I am unable to think of the emptiness which might +have been. You came to me, like Beatrice, when I had lost my way in the +darkness of the wood. And like Beatrice, you showed me the path, and +hell and heaven." + +"Oh, you would have found the path without me. I cannot claim that. +I saw from the first that you were destined to find it. And, unlike +Beatrice, I too was lost, and it was you who lifted me up. You mustn't +idealize me." . . . She stood up. "Come!" she said. He too stood, +gazing at her, and she lifted her hands to his shoulders . . . . They +moved out from under the tree and walked for a while in silence across +the dew-drenched grass, towards Park Street. The moon, which had ridden +over a great space in the sky, hung red above the blackness of the forest +to the west. + +"Do you remember when we were here together, the day I met Mr. Bentley? +And you never would have spoken!" + +"How could I, Alison?" he asked. + +"No, you couldn't. And yet--you would have let me go!" + +He put his arm in hers, and drew her towards him. + +"I must talk to your father," he said, "some day--soon. I ought to tell +him--of our intentions. We cannot go on like this." + +"No," she agreed, "I realize it. And I cannot stay, much longer, in Park +Street. I must go back to New York, until you send for me, dear. And +there are things I must do. Do you know, even though I antagonize him +so--my father, I mean--even though he suspects and bitterly resents any +interest in you, my affection for you, and that I have lingered because +of you, I believe, in his way, he has liked to have me here." + +"I can understand it," Hodder said. + +"It's because you are bigger than I, although he has quarrelled with you +so bitterly. I don't know what definite wrongs he has done to other +persons. I don't wish to know. I don't ask you to tell me what passed +between you that night. Once you said that you had an affection for him +--that he was lonely. He is lonely. In these last weeks, in spite of +his anger, I can see that he suffers terribly. It is a tragedy, because +he will never give in." + +"It is a tragedy." Hodder's tone was agitated. + +"I wonder if he realizes a little" she began, and paused. "Now that +Preston has come home--" + +"Your brother?" Hodder exclaimed. + +"Yes. I forgot to tell you. I don't know why he came," she faltered. +"I suppose he has got into some new trouble. He seems changed. I can't +describe it now, but I will tell you about it . . . . It's the first +time we've all three been together since my mother died, for Preston +wasn't back from college when I went to Paris to study . . . ." + +They stood together on the pavement before the massive house, fraught +with so many and varied associations for Hodder. And as he looked up at +it, his eye involuntarily rested upon the windows of the boy's room where +Eldon Parr had made his confession. Alison startled him by pronouncing +his name, which came with such unaccustomed sweetness from her lips. +You will write me to-morrow," she said, "after you have seen the bishop?" + +"Yes, at once. You mustn't let it worry you." + +"I feel as if I had cast off that kind of worry forever. It is only-- +the other worries from which we do not escape, from which we do not wish +to escape." + +With a wonderful smile she had dropped his hands and gone in at the +entrance, when a sound made them turn, the humming of a motor. And even +as they looked it swung into Park Street. + +"It's a taxicab!" she said. As she spoke it drew up almost beside them, +instead of turning in at the driveway, the door opened, and a man +alighted. + +"Preston!" Alison exclaimed. + +He started, turning from the driver, whom he was about to pay. As for +Hodder, he was not only undergoing a certain shock through the sudden +contact, at such a moment, with Alison's brother: there was an additional +shock that this was Alison's brother and Eldon Parr's son. Not that his +appearance was shocking, although the well-clad, athletic figure was +growing a trifle heavy, and the light from the side lamps of the car +revealed dissipation in a still handsome face. The effect was a subtler +one, not to be analyzed, and due to a multitude of preconceptions. + +Alison came forward. + +"This is Mr. Hodder, Preston," she said simply. + +For a moment Preston continued to stare at the rector without speaking. +Suddenly he put out his hand. + +"Mr. Hodder, of St. John's?" he demanded. + +"Yes," answered Hodder. His surprise deepened to perplexity at the warmth +of the handclasp that followed. + +A smile that brought back vividly to Hodder the sunny expression of the +schoolboy in the picture lightened the features of the man. + +"I'm very glad to see you," he said, in a tone that left no doubt of its +genuine quality. + +"Thank you," Hodder replied, meeting his eye with kindness, yet with a +scrutiny that sought to penetrate the secret of an unexpected cordiality. +"I, too, have hoped to see you." + +Alison, who stood by wondering, felt a meaning behind the rector's words. +She pressed his hand as he bade her, once more, good night. + +"Won't you take my taxicab?" asked Preston. "It is going down town +anyway." + +"I think I'd better stick to the street cars," Hodder said. His refusal +was not ungraceful, but firm. Preston did not insist. + +In spite of the events of that evening, which he went over again and +again as the midnight car carried him eastward, in spite of a new-born +happiness the actuality of which was still difficult to grasp, Hodder +was vaguely troubled when he thought of Preston Parr. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Mixture of awkwardness and straightforwardness +Success--which was really failure + + + + + + +THE INSIDE OF THE CUP + +By Winston Churchill + + + +Volume 8. + +XXVII. RETRIBUTION +XXVIII. LIGHT + + + +RETRIBUTION + +CHAPTER XXVII + +RETRIBUTION + + +I + +The Bishop's House was a comfortable, double dwelling of a smooth, +bright red brick and large, plate-glass windows, situated in a plot +at the western end of Waverley Place. It had been bought by the Diocese +in the nineties, and was representative of that transitional period in +American architecture when the mansard roof had been repudiated, when +as yet no definite types had emerged to take its place. The house had +pointed gables, and a tiny and utterly useless porch that served only to +darken the front door, made of heavy pieces of wood fantastically curved. + +It was precisely ten o'clock in the morning when Hodder rang the bell and +was shown into the ample study which he had entered on other and less +vital occasions. He found difficulty in realizing that this pleasant +room, lined with well-worn books and overlooking a back lawn where the +clothes of the episcopal family hung in the yellow autumn sun, was to be +his judgment seat, whence he might be committed to trial for heresy. + +And this was the twentieth century! The full force of the preposterous +fact smote him, and a consciousness of the distance he himself had +travelled since the comparatively recent days of his own orthodoxy. +And suddenly he was full again of a resentful impatience, not only that +he should be called away from his labours, his cares, the strangers who +were craving his help, to answer charges of such an absurd triviality, +but that the performance of the great task to which he had set his hand, +with God's help, should depend upon it. Would his enemies be permitted +to drive him out thus easily? + +The old bishop came in, walking by the aid of a cane. He smiled at +Hodder, who greeted him respectfully, and bidding him sit down, took a +chair himself behind his writing table, from whence he gazed awhile +earnestly and contemplatively at the rugged features and strong shoulders +of the rector of St. John's. The effect of the look was that of a visual +effort to harmonize the man with the deed he had done, the stir he had +created in the city and the diocese; to readjust impressions. + +A hint of humour crept into the bishop's blue eyes, which were watery, +yet strong, with heavy creases in the corners. He indicated by a little +gesture three bundles of envelopes, bound by rubber bands, on the corner +of his blotter. + +"Hodder," he said, "see what a lot of trouble you have made for me in my +old age! All those are about you." + +The rector's expression could not have been deemed stern, but it had met +the bishop's look unflinchingly. Now it relaxed into a responding smile, +which was not without seriousness. + +"I am sorry, sir," Hodder answered, "to have caused you any worry--or +inconvenience." + +"Perhaps," said the bishop, "I have had too much smooth sailing for a +servant of Christ. Indeed, I have come to that conclusion." + +Hodder did not reply. He was moved, even more by the bishop's manner +and voice than his words. And the opening to their conversation was +unexpected. The old man put on his spectacles, and drew from the top +of one of the bundles a letter. + +"This is from one of your vestrymen, Mr. Gordon Atterbury," he said, and +proceeded to read it, slowly. When he had finished he laid it down. + +"Is that, according to your recollection, Mr. Hodder, a fairly accurate +summary of the sermon you gave when you resumed the pulpit at the end of +the summer?" + +"Yes, sir," answered the rector, "it is surprisingly accurate, with the +exception of two or three inferences which I shall explain at the proper +moment." + +"Mr. Atterbury is to be congratulated on his memory," the bishop observed +a little dryly. "And he has saved me the trouble of reading more. Now +what are the inferences to which you object?" + +Hodder stated them. "The most serious one," he added, "is that which he +draws from my attitude on the virgin birth. Mr. Atterbury insists, like +others who cling to that dogma, that I have become what he vaguely calls +an Unitarian. He seems incapable of grasping my meaning, that the only +true God the age knows, the world has ever known, is the God in Christ, +is the Spirit in Christ, and is there not by any material proof, but +because we recognize it spiritually. And that doctrine and dogma, +ancient speculations as to how, definitely, that spirit came to be in +Christ, are fruitless and mischievous to-day. Mr. Atterbury and others +seem actually to resent my identification of our Lord's Spirit with the +social conscience as well as the individual conscience of our time." + +The bishop nodded. + +"Hodder," he demanded abruptly, leaning forward over his desk, "how did +this thing happen?" + +"You mean, sir--" + +There was, in the bishop's voice, a note almost pathetic. "Oh, I do not +mean to ask you anything you may deem too personal. And God forbid, as +I look at you, as I have known you, that I should doubt your sincerity. +I am not your inquisitor, but your bishop and your friend, and I am +asking for your confidence. Six months ago you were, apparently, one of +the most orthodox rectors in the diocese. I recognize that you are not +an impulsive, sensational man, and I am all the more anxious to learn +from your own lips something of the influences, of the processes which +have changed you, which have been strong enough to impel you to risk the +position you have achieved." + +By this unlooked-for appeal Hodder was not only disarmed, but smitten +with self-reproach at the thought of his former misjudgment and +underestimation of the man in whose presence he sat. And it came over +him, not only the extent to which, formerly, he had regarded the bishop +as too tolerant and easygoing, but the fact that he had arrived here +today prepared to find in his superior anything but the attitude he was +showing. Considering the bishop's age, Hodder had been ready for a lack +of understanding of the step he had taken, even for querulous reproaches +and rebuke. + +He had, therefore, to pull himself together, to adjust himself to the +unexpected greatness of soul with which he was being received before he +began to sketch the misgivings he had felt from the early days of his +rectorship of St. John's; the helplessness and failure which by degrees +had come over him. He related how it had become apparent to him that by +far the greater part of his rich and fashionable congregation were +Christians only in name, who kept their religion in a small and +impervious compartment where it did not interfere with their lives. +He pictured the yearning and perplexity of those who had come to him for +help, who could not accept the old explanations, and had gone away empty; +and he had not been able to make Christians of the poor who attended the +parish house. Finally, trusting in the bishop's discretion, he spoke of +the revelations he had unearthed in Dalton Street, and how these had +completely destroyed his confidence in the Christianity he had preached, +and how he had put his old faith to the test of unprejudiced modern +criticism, philosophy, and science. . . + +The bishop listened intently, his head bent, his eyes on he rector. + +"And you have come out--convinced?" he asked tremulously. "Yes, yes, +I see you have. It is enough." + +He relapsed into thought, his wrinkled hand lying idly on the table. + +"I need not tell you, my friend," he resumed at length, "that a great +deal of pressure has been brought to bear upon me in this matter, more +than I have ever before experienced. You have mortally offended, among +others, the most powerful layman in the diocese, Mr. Parr, who complains +that you have presumed to take him to task concerning his private +affairs." + +"I told him," answered Holder, "that so long as he continued to live the +life he leads, I could not accept his contributions to St. John's." + +"I am an old man," said the bishop, "and whatever usefulness I have had +is almost finished. But if I were young to-day, I should pray God for +the courage and insight you have shown, and I am thankful to have lived +long enough to have known you. It has, at least, been given one to +realize that times have changed, that we are on the verge of a mighty +future. I will be frank to say that ten years ago, if this had happened, +I should have recommended you for trial. Now I can only wish you God- +speed. I, too, can see the light, my friend. I can see, I think, though +dimly, the beginnings of a blending of all sects, of all religions in the +increasing vision of the truth revealed in Jesus Christ, stripped, as you +say, of dogma, of fruitless attempts at rational explanation. In Japan +and China, in India and Persia, as well as in Christian countries, it is +coming, coming by some working of the Spirit the mystery of which is +beyond us. And nations and men who even yet know nothing of the Gospels +are showing a willingness to adopt what is Christ's, and the God of +Christ." + +Holder was silent, from sheer inability to speak. + +"If you had needed an advocate with me," the bishop continued, "you could +not have had one to whose counsel I would more willingly have listened, +than that of Horace Bentley. He wrote asking to come and see me, but I +went to him in Dalton Street the day I returned. And it gives me +satisfaction, Mr. Holder, to confess to you freely that he has taught me, +by his life, more of true Christianity than I have learned in all my +experience elsewhere." + +"I had thought," exclaimed the rector, wonderingly, "that I owed him more +than any other man." + +"There are many who think that--hundreds, I should say," the bishop +replied . . . . "Eldon Parr ruined him, drove him from the church.... +It is strange how, outside of the church, his influence has silently and +continuously grown until it has borne fruit in--this. Even now," he +added after a pause, "the cautiousness, the dread of change which comes +with old age might, I think, lead me to be afraid of it if I--didn't +perceive behind it the spirit of Horace Bentley." + +It struck Holder, suddenly, what an unconscious but real source of +confidence this thought had likewise been to him. He spoke of it. + +"It is not that I wouldn't trust you," the bishop went on. "I have +watched you, I have talked to Asa Waring, I have read the newspapers. +In spite of it all, you have kept your head, you have not compromised the +dignity of the Church. But oh, my friend, I beg you to bear in mind that +you are launched upon deep waters, that you have raised up many enemies +--enemies of Christ--who seek to destroy you. You are still young. And +the uncompromising experiment to which you are pledged, of freeing your +church, of placing her in the position of power and influence in the +community which is rightfully hers, is as yet untried. And no stone will +be left unturned to discourage and overcome you. You have faith,--you +have made me feel it as you sat here,--a faith which will save you from +bitterness in personal defeat. You may not reap the victory, or even see +it in your lifetime. But of this I am sure, that you will be able to +say, with Paul, "I have planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the +increase." Whatever happens, you may count upon my confidence and +support. I can only wish that I were younger, that my arm were stronger, +and that I had always perceived the truth as clearly as I see it now." + +Holder had risen involuntarily while these words were being spoken. They +were indeed a benediction, and the intensity of his feeling warned him of +the inadequacy of any reply. They were pronounced in sorrow, yet in +hope, and they brought home to him, sharply, the nobility of the bishop's +own sacrifice. + +"And you, sir?" he asked. "Ah," answered the bishop, "with this I shall +have had my life. I am content. . . ." + +"You will come to me again, Hodder? some other day," he said, +after an interval, "that we may talk over the new problems. They are +constructive, creative, and I am anxious to hear how you propose to meet +them. For one thing, to find a new basis for the support of such a +parish. I understand they have deprived you of your salary." + +"I have enough to live on, for a year or so," replied the rector, +quickly. "Perhaps more." + +"I'm afraid," said the bishop, with a smile in his old eyes, "that you +will need it, my friend. But who can say? You have strength, you have +confidence, and God is with you." + + + +II + +Life, as Hodder now grasped it, was a rapidly whirling wheel which gave +him no chance to catch up with the impressions and experiences through +which it was dragging him. Here, for instance, were two far-reaching +and momentous events, one crowding upon the other, and not an hour for +reflection, realization, or adjustment! He had, indeed, after his return +from the bishop's, snatched a few minutes to write Alison the unexpected +result of that interview. But even as he wrote and rang for a messenger +to carry the note to Park Street, he was conscious of an effort to seize +upon and hold the fact that the woman he had so intensely desired was now +his helpmate; and had, of her own freewill, united herself with him. A +strong sense of the dignity of their relationship alone prevented his +calling her on the telephone--as it doubtless had prevented her. While +she remained in her father's house, he could not. . . + +In the little room next to the office several persons were waiting to see +him. But as he went downstairs he halted on the, landing, his hand going +to his forehead, a reflex movement significant of a final attempt to +achieve the hitherto unattainable feat of imagining her as his wife. +If he might only speak to her again--now, this morning! And yet he +knew that he needed no confirmation. The reality was there, in the +background; and though refusing to come forward to be touched, it had +already grafted itself as an actual and vital part of his being, never +to be eliminated. + +Characteristically perfecting his own ideal, she had come to him in the +hour when his horizon had been most obscure. And he experienced now an +exultation, though solemn and sacred, that her faith had so far been +rewarded in the tidings he now confided to the messenger. He was not, +as yet, to be driven out from the task, to be deprived of the talent, +the opportunity intrusted to him by Lord--the emancipation of the parish +of St. John's. + +The first to greet him, when he entered his office, was one who, unknown +to himself, had been fighting the battle of the God in Christ, and who +now, thanks to John Hodder, had identified the Spirit as the transforming +force. Bedloe Hubbell had come to offer his services to the Church. The +tender was unqualified. + +"I should even be willing, Mr. Hodder," he said with a smile, "to venture +occasionally into a pulpit. You have not only changed my conception of +religion, but you have made it for me something which I can now speak +about naturally." + +Hodder was struck by the suggestion. + +"Ah, we shall need the laymen in the pulpits, Mr. Hubbell," he said +quickly. "A great spiritual movement must be primarily a lay movement. +And I promise you you shall not lack for opportunity." + + + +III + +At nine o'clock that evening, when a reprieve came, Hodder went out. +Anxiety on the score of Kate Marcy, as well as a desire to see Mr. +Bentley and tell him of the conversation with the bishop, directed his +steps toward Dalton Street. And Hodder had, indeed, an intention of +confiding to his friend, as one eminently entitled to it, the news of +his engagement to Alison Parr. + +Nothing, however, had been heard of Kate. She was not in Dalton Street, +Mr. Bentley feared. The search of Gratz, the cabinet-maker, had been +fruitless. And Sally Grover had even gone to see the woman in the +hospital, whom Kate had befriended, in the hope of getting a possible +clew. They sat close together before the fire in Mr. Bentley's +comfortable library, debating upon the possibility of other methods of +procedure, when a carriage was heard rattling over the pitted asphalt +without. As it pulled up at the curb, a silence fell between them. The +door-bell rang. + +Holder found himself sitting erect, rigidly attentive, listening to the +muffled sound of a woman's voice in the entry. A few moments later came +a knock at the library door, and Sam entered. The old darky was plainly +frightened. + +"It's Miss Kate, Marse Ho'ace, who you bin tryin' to fin'," he stammered. + +Holder sprang to his feet and made his way rapidly around the table, +where he stood confronting the woman in the doorway. There she was, +perceptibly swaying, as though the floor under her were rocked by an +earthquake. Her handsome face was white as chalk, her pupils widened in +terror. It was curious, at such an instant, that he should have taken in +her costume,--yet it was part of the mystery. She wore a new, close- +fitting, patently expensive suit of dark blue cloth and a small hat, +which were literally transforming in their effect, demanding a palpable +initial effort of identification. + +He seized her by the arm. + +"What is it?" he demanded. + +"Oh, my God!" she cried. "He--he's out there--in the carriage." + +She leaned heavily against the doorpost, shivering . . . . Holder saw +Sally Grover coming down the stairs. + +"Take her," he said, and went out of the front door, which Sam had left +open. Mr. Bentley was behind him. + +The driver had descended from the box and was peering into the darkness +of the vehicle when he heard them, and turned. At sight of the tall +clergyman, an expression of relief came into his face. + +"I don't like the looks of this, sir," he said. "I thought he was pretty +bad when I went to fetch him--" + +Holder pushed past him and looked into the carriage. Leaning back, +motionless, in the corner of the seat was the figure of a man. For a +terrible moment of premonition, of enlightenment, the rector gazed at it. + +"They sent for me from a family hotel in Ayers Street," the driver was +explaining. Mr. Bentley's voice interrupted him. + +"He must be brought in, at once. Do you know where Dr. Latimer's office +is, on Tower Street?" he asked the man. "Go there, and bring this +doctor back with you as quickly as possible. If he is not in, get +another, physician." + +Between them, the driver and Holder got the burden out of the carriage +and up the steps. The light from the hallway confirmed the rector's +fear. + +"It's Preston Parr," he said. + +The next moment was too dreadful for surprise, but never had the sense of +tragedy so pierced the innermost depths of Holder's being as now, when +Horace Bentley's calmness seemed to have forsaken him; and as he gazed +down upon the features on the pillow, he wept . . . . Holder turned +away. Whatever memories those features evoked, memories of a past that +still throbbed with life these were too sacred for intrusion. The years +of exile, of uncomplaining service to others in this sordid street and +over the wide city had not yet sufficed to allay the pain, to heal the +wound of youth. Nay, loyalty had kept it fresh--a loyalty that was the +handmaid of faith. . . + +The rector softly left the room, only to be confronted with another +harrowing scene in the library, where a frantic woman was struggling in +Sally Grover's grasp. He went to her assistance. . . Words of +comfort, of entreaty were of no avail,--Kate Marcy did not seem to hear +them. Hers, in contrast to that other, was the unmeaning grief, the +overwhelming sense of injustice of the child; and with her regained +physical strength the two had all they could do to restrain her. + +"I will go to him," she sobbed, between her paroxysms, "you've got no +right to keep me--he's mine . . . he came back to me--he's all I ever +had . . . ." + +So intent were they that they did not notice Mr. Bentley standing beside +them until they heard his voice. + +"What she says is true," he told them. "Her place is in there. Let her +go." + +Kate Marcy raised her head at the words, and looked at him a strange, +half-comprehending, half-credulous gaze. They released her, helped her +towards the bedroom, and closed the door gently behind her. . . The +three sat in silence until the carriage was heard returning, and the +doctor entered. + +The examination was brief, and two words, laconically spoken, sufficed +for an explanation--apoplexy, alcohol. The prostrate, quivering woman +was left where they had found her. + +Dr. Latimer was a friend of Mr. Bentley's, and betrayed no surprise at a +situation which otherwise might have astonished him. It was only when he +learned the dead man's name, and his parentage, that he looked up quickly +from his note book. + +"The matter can be arranged without a scandal," he said, after an +instant. "Can you tell me something of the circumstances?" + +It was Hodder who answered. + +"Preston Parr had been in love with this woman, and separated from her. +She was under Mr. Bentley's care when he found her again, I infer, by +accident. From what the driver says, they were together in a hotel in +Ayers Street, and he died after he had been put in a carriage. In her +terror, she was bringing him to Mr. Bentley." + +The doctor nodded. + +"Poor woman!" he said unexpectedly. "Will you be good enough to let Mr: +Parr know that I will see him at his house, to-night?" he added, as he +took his departure. + + + +IV + +Sally Grower went out with the physician, and it was Mr. Bentley who +answered the question in the rector's mind, which he hesitated to ask. + +"Mr. Parr must come here," he said. + +As the rector turned, mechanically, to pick up his hat, Mr. Bentley added + +"You will come back, Hodder?" + +"Since you wish it, sir," the rector said. + +Once in the street, he faced a predicament, but swiftly decided that the +telephone was impossible under the circumstances, that there could be no +decent procedure without going himself to Park Street. It was only a +little after ten. The electric car which he caught seemed to lag, the +stops were interminable. His thoughts flew hither and thither. Should +he try first to see Alison? He was nearest to her now of all the world, +and he could not suffer the thought of her having the news otherwise. +Yes, he must tell her, since she knew nothing of the existence of Kate +Marcy. + +Having settled that,--though the thought of the blow she was to receive +lay like a weight on his heart,--Mr. Bentley's reason for summoning Eldon +Parr to Dalton Street came to him. That the feelings of Mr. Bentley +towards the financier were those of Christian forgiveness was not +for a moment to be doubted: but a meeting, particularly under such +circumstances, could not but be painful indeed. It must be, it was, +Hodder saw, for Kate Marcy's sake; yes, and for Eldon Parr's as well, +that he be given this opportunity to deal with the woman whom he had +driven away from his son, and ruined. + +The moon, which had shed splendours over the world the night before, +was obscured by a low-drifting mist as Hodder turned in between the +ornamental lamps that marked the gateway of the Park Street mansion, +and by some undiscerned thought--suggestion he pictured the heart-broken +woman he had left beside the body of one who had been heir to all this +magnificence. Useless now, stone and iron and glass, pictures and +statuary. All the labour, all the care and cunning, all the stealthy +planning to get ahead of others had been in vain! What indeed were left +to Eldon Parr! It was he who needed pity,--not the woman who had sinned +and had been absolved because of her great love; not the wayward, vice- +driven boy who lay dead. The very horror of what Eldon Parr was now to +suffer turned Hodder cold as he rang the bell and listened for the soft +tread of the servant who would answer his summons. + +The man who flung open the door knew him, and did not conceal his +astonishment. + +"Will you take my card to Miss Parr," the rector said, "if she has not +retired, and tell her I have a message?" + +"Miss Parr is still in the library, sir." + +"Alone?" + +"Yes, sir." The man preceded him, but before his name had been announced +Alison was standing, her book in her hand, gazing at him with startled +eyes, his name rising, a low cry, to her lips. + +"John!" + +He took the book from her, gently, and held her hands. + +"Something has happened!" she said. "Tell me--I can bear it." + +He saw instantly that her dread was for him, and it made his task the +harder. + +It's your brother, Alison." + +"Preston! What is it? He's done something----" + +Hodder shook his head. + +"He died--to-night. He is at Mr. Bentley's." + +It was like her that she did not cry out, or even speak, but stood still, +her hands tightening on his, her breast heaving. She was not, he knew, +a woman who wept easily, and her eyes were dry. And he had it to be +thankful for that it was given him to be with her, in this sacred +relationship, at such a moment. But even now, such was the mystery that +ever veiled her soul, he could not read her feelings, nor know what these +might be towards the brother whose death he announced. + +"I want to tell you, first, Alison, to prepare you," he said. + +Her silence was eloquent. She looked up at him bravely, trustfully, in a +way that made him wince. Whatever the exact nature of her suffering, it +was too deep for speech. And yet she helped him, made it easier for him +by reason of her very trust, once given not to be withdrawn. It gave him +a paradoxical understanding of her which was beyond definition. + +"You must know--you would have sometime to know that there was a woman he +loved, whom he intended to marry--but she was separated from him. She +was not what is called a bad woman, she was a working girl. I found her, +this summer, and she told me the story, and she has been under the care +of Mr. Bentley. She disappeared two or three days ago. Your brother met +her again, and he was stricken with apoplexy while with her this evening. +She brought him to Mr. Bentley's house." + +"My father--bought her and sent her away." + +"You knew?" + +"I heard a little about it at the time, by accident. I have always +remembered it . . . . I have always felt that something like this +would happen." + +Her sense of fatality, another impression she gave of living in the +deeper, instinctive currents of life, had never been stronger upon him +than now. . . . She released his hands. + +"How strange," she said, "that the end should have come at Mr. Bentley's! +He loved my mother--she was the only woman he ever loved." + +It came to Hodder as the completing touch of the revelation he had half +glimpsed by the bedside. + +"Ah," he could not help exclaiming, "that explains much." + +She had looked at him again, through sudden tears, as though divining his +reference to Mr. Bentley's grief, when a step make them turn. Eldon Parr +had entered the room. Never, not even in that last interview, had his +hardness seemed so concretely apparent as now. Again, pity seemed never +more out of place, yet pity was Hodder's dominant feeling as he met the +coldness, the relentlessness of the glance. The thing that struck him, +that momentarily kept closed his lips, was the awful, unconscious +timeliness of the man's entrance, and his unpreparedness to meet +the blow that was to crush him. + +"May I ask, Mr. Hodder," he said, in an unemotional voice, "what you are +doing in this house?" + +Still Hodder hesitated, an unwilling executioner. + +"Father," said Alison, "Mr. Hodder has come with a message." + +Never, perhaps, had Eldon Parr given such complete proof of his lack of +spiritual intuition. The atmosphere, charged with presage for him, gave +him nothing. + +"Mr. Hodder takes a strange way of delivering it," was his comment. + +Mercy took precedence over her natural directness. She laid her hand +gently on his arm. And she had, at that instant, no thought of the long +years he had neglected her for her brother. + +"It's about--Preston," she said. + +"Preston!" The name came sharply from Eldon Parr's lips. "What about +him? Speak, can't you?" + +"He died this evening," said Alison, simply. + +Hodder plainly heard the ticking of the clock on the mantel . . . . +And the drama that occurred was the more horrible because it was hidden; +played, as it were, behind closed doors. For the spectators, there was +only the black wall, and the silence. Eldon Parr literally did nothing,- +made no gesture, uttered no cry. The death, they knew, was taking place +in his soul, yet the man stood before them, naturally, for what seemed an +interminable time . . . . + +"Where is he?" he asked. + +"At Mr. Bentley's, in Dalton Street." It was Alison who replied again. + +Even then he gave no sign that he read retribution in the coincidence, +betrayed no agitation at the mention of a name which, in such a +connection, might well have struck the terror of judgment into his heart. +They watched him while, with a firm step, he crossed the room and pressed +a button in the wall, and waited. + +"I want the closed automobile, at once," he said, when the servant came. + +"I beg pardon; sir, but I think Gratton has gone to bed. He had no +orders." + +"Then wake him," said Eldon Parr, "instantly. And send for my +secretary." + +With a glance which he perceived Alison comprehended, Hodder made his way +out of the room. He had from Eldon Parr, as he passed him, neither +question, acknowledgment, nor recognition. Whatever the banker might +have felt, or whether his body had now become a mere machine mechanically +carrying on a life-long habit of action, the impression was one of the +tremendousness of the man's consistency. A great effort was demanded to +summon up the now almost unimaginable experience of his confidence; of +the evening when, almost on that very spot, he had revealed to Hodder the +one weakness of his life. And yet the effort was not to be, presently, +without startling results. In the darkness of the street the picture +suddenly grew distinct on the screen of the rector's mind, the face of +the banker subtly drawn with pain as he had looked down on it in +compassion; the voice with its undercurrent of agony: + +"He never knew how much I cared--that what I was doing was all for him, +building for him, that he might carry on my work." + + + +V + +So swift was the trolley that ten minutes had elapsed, after Hodder's +arrival, before the purr of an engine and the shriek of a brake broke the +stillness of upper Dalton Street and announced the stopping of a heavy +motor before the door. The rector had found Mr. Bentley in the library, +alone, seated with bent head in front of the fire, and had simply +announced the intention of Eldon Parr to come. From the chair Hodder had +unobtrusively chosen, near the window, his eyes rested on the noble +profile of his friend. What his thoughts were, Hodder could not surmise; +for he seemed again, marvellously, to have regained the outward peace +which was the symbol of banishment from the inner man of all thought of +self. + +"I have prepared her for Mr. Parr's coming," he said to Hodder at length. + +And yet he had left her there! Hodder recalled the words Mr. Bentley had +spoken, "It is her place." Her place, the fallen woman's, the place she +had earned by a great love and a great renunciation, of which no earthly +power might henceforth deprive her . . . . + +Then came the motor, the ring at the door, the entrance of Eldon Parr +into the library. He paused, a perceptible moment, on the threshold as +his look fell upon the man whom he had deprived of home and fortune,--yes +and of the one woman in the world for them both. Mr. Bentley had risen, +and stood facing him. That shining, compassionate gaze should have been +indeed a difficult one to meet. Vengeance was the Lord's, in truth! +What ordeal that Horace Bentley in anger and retribution might have +devised could have equalled this! + +And yet Eldon Parr did meet it--with an effort. Hodder, from his corner, +detected the effort, though it were barely discernible, and would have +passed a scrutiny less rigid,--the first outward and visible sign of the +lesion within. For a brief instant the banker's eyes encountered Mr. +Bentley's look with a flash of the old defiance, and fell, and then swept +the room. + +"Will you come this way, Mr. Parr?" Mr. Bentley said, indicating the door +of the bedroom. + +Alison followed. Her eyes, wet with unheeded tears, had never left Mr. +Bentley's face. She put out her hand to him . . . . + +Eldon Parr had halted abruptly. He knew from Alison the circumstances in +which his son had died, and how he had been brought hither to this house, +but the sight of the woman beside the bed fanned into flame his fury +against a world which had cheated him, by such ignominious means, of his +dearest wish. He grew white with sudden passion. + +"What is she doing here?" he demanded. + +Kate Marcy, who had not seemed to hear his entrance, raised up to him a +face from which all fear had fled, a face which, by its suggestive power, +compelled him to realize the absolute despair clutching now at his own +soul, and against which he was fighting wildly, hopelessly. It was lying +in wait for him, W th hideous patience, in the coming watches of the +night. Perhaps he read in the face of this woman whom he had condemned +to suffer all degradation, and over whom he was now powerless, something +which would ultimately save her from the hell now yawning for him; a +redeeming element in her grief of which she herself were not as yet +conscious, a light shining in the darkness of her soul which in eternity +would become luminous. And he saw no light for him--He thrashed in +darkness. He had nothing, now, to give, no power longer to deprive. +She had given all she possessed, the memorial of her kind which would +outlast monuments. + +It was Alison who crossed the room swiftly. She laid her hand +protectingly on Kate Marcy's shoulder, and stooped, and kissed her. +She turned to her father. + +"It is her right," she said. "He belonged to her, not to us. And we +must take her home with us. + +"No," answered Kate Marcy' "I don't want to go. I wouldn't live," she +added with unexpected intensity, "with him." + +"You would live with me," said Alison. + +"I don't want to live!" Kate Marcy got up from the chair with an energy +they had not thought her to possess, a revival of the spirit which had +upheld her when she had contended, singly, with a remorseless world. She +addressed herself to Eldon Parr. "You took him from me, and I was a fool +to let you. He might have saved me and saved himself. I listened to you +when you told me lies as to how it would ruin him . . . . Well,--I had +him you never did." + +The sudden, intolerable sense of wrong done to her love, the swift anger +which followed it, the justness of her claim of him who now lay in the +dignity of death clothed her--who in life had been crushed and blotted +out--with a dignity not to be gainsaid. In this moment of final self- +assertion she became the dominating person in the room, knew for once the +birthright of human worth. They watched her in silence as she turned and +gave one last, lingering look at the features of the dead; stretched out +her hand towards them, but did not touch them . . . and then went +slowly towards the door. Beside Alison she stopped. + +"You are his sister?" she said. + +"Yes." + +She searched Alison's face, wistfully. + +"I could have loved you." + +"And can you not--still?" + +Kate Mercy did not answer the question. + +"It is because you understand," she said. "You're like those I've come +to know--here. And you're like him . . . . I don't mean in looks. +He, too, was good--and square." She spoke the words a little defiantly, +as though challenging the verdict of the world. "And he wouldn't have +been wild if he could have got going straight." + +"I know," said Alison, in a low voice. + +"Yes," said Kate Mercy, "you look as if you did. He thought a lot of +you, he said he was only beginning to find out what you was. I'd like +you to think as well of me as you can." + +"I could not think better," Alison replied. + +Kate Mercy shook her head. + +"I got about as low as any woman ever got," she said + +"Mr. Hodder will tell you. I want you to know that I wouldn't marry-- +your brother," she hesitated over the name. "He wanted me to--he was mad +with me to night, because I wouldn't--when this happened." + +She snatched her hand free from Alison's, and fled out of the room, into +the hallway. + +Eldon Parr had moved towards the bed, seemingly unaware of the words they +had spoken. Perhaps, as he gazed upon the face, he remembered in his +agony the sunny, smiling child who need to come hurrying down the steps +in Ransome Street to meet him. + +In the library Mr. Bentley and John Hodder, knowing nothing of her +flight, heard the front door close on Kate Marcy forever . . . . + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII + +LIGHT + + +I + +Two days after the funeral, which had taken place from Calvary, and not +from St. John's, Hodder was no little astonished to receive a note from +Eldon Parr's secretary requesting the rector to call in Park Street. In +the same mail was a letter from Alison. "I have had," she wrote, "a talk +with my father. The initiative was his. I should not have thought of +speaking to him of my affairs so soon after Preston's death. It seems +that he strongly suspected our engagement, which of course I at once +acknowledged, telling him that it was your intention, at the proper time, +to speak to him yourself. + +"I was surprised when he said he would ask you to call. I confess that +I have not an idea of what he intends to say to you, John, but I trust +you absolutely, as always. You will find him, already, terribly changed. +I cannot describe it--you will see for yourself. And it has all seemed +to happen so suddenly. As I wrote you, he sat up both nights, with +Preston--he could not be induced to leave the room. And after the first +night he was different. He has hardly spoken a word, except when he sent +for me this evening, and he eats nothing . . . . And yet, somehow, +I do not think that this will be the end. I feel that he will go on +living. . . . . + +"I did not realize how much he still hoped about Preston. And on Monday, +when Preston so unexpectedly came home, he was happier than I have known +him for years. It was strange and sad that he could not see, as I saw, +that whatever will power my brother had had was gone. He could not read +it in the face of his own son, who was so quick to detect it in all +others! And then came the tragedy. Oh, John, do you think we shall ever +find that girl again?--I know you are trying but we mustn't rest until we +do. Do you think we ever shall? I shall never forgive myself for not +following her out of the door, but, I thought she had gone to you and Mr. +Bentley." + +Hodder laid the letter down, and took it up again. He knew that Alison +felt, as he felt, that they never would find Kate Marcy . . . . He +read on. + +"My father wished to speak to me about the money. He has plans for +much of it, it appears, even now. Oh. John, he will never understand. +I want so much to see you, to talk to you--there are times when I am +actually afraid to be alone, and without you. If it be weakness to +confess that I need your reassurance, your strength and comfort +constantly, then I am weak. I once thought I could stand alone, that +I had solved all problems for myself, but I know now how foolish I was. +I have been face to face with such dreadful, unimagined things, and in my +ignorance I did not conceive that life held such terrors. And when I +look at my father, the thought of immortality turns me faint. After you +have come here this afternoon there can be no longer any reason why we +should not meet, and all the world know it. I will go with you to Mr. +Bentley's. + +"Of course I need not tell you that I refused to inherit anything. But +I believe I should have consented if I possibly could have done so. It +seemed so cruel--I can think of no other word--to have, to refuse at such +a moment. Perhaps I have been cruel to him all my life--I don't know. +As I look back upon everything, all our relations, I cannot see how I +could have been different. He wouldn't let me. I still believe to have +stayed with him would have been a foolish and useless sacrifice . . . +But he looked at me so queerly, as though he, too, had had a glimmering +of what we might have been to each other after my mother died. Why is +life so hard? And why are we always getting glimpses of things when it +is too late? It is only honest to say that if I had it to do all over +again, I should have left him as I did. + +"It is hard to write you this, but he actually made the condition of my +acceptance of the inheritance that I should not marry you. I really do +not believe I convinced him that you wouldn't have me take the money +under any circumstances. And the dreadful side of it all was that I had +to make it plain to him--after what has happened that my desire to marry +you wasn't the main reason of my refusal. I had to tell him that even +though you had not been in question, I couldn't have taken what he wished +to give me, since it had not been honestly made. He asked me why I went +on eating the food bought with such money, living under his roof? But I +cannot, I will not leave him just yet . . . . It is two o'clock. I +cannot write any more to-night." + + + +II + +The appointed time was at the November dusk, hurried forward nearly an +hour by the falling panoply of smoke driven westward over the Park by the +wet east wind. And the rector was conducted, with due ceremony, to the +office upstairs which he had never again expected to enter, where that +other memorable interview had taken place. The curtains were drawn. And +if the green-shaded lamp--the only light in the room--had been arranged +by a master of dramatic effect, it could not have better served the +setting. + +In spite of Alison's letter, Holder was unprepared for the ravages a few +days had made in the face of Eldon Parr. Not that he appeared older: the +impression was less natural, more sinister. The skin had drawn sharply +over the cheek-bones, and strangely the eyes both contradicted and +harmonized with the transformation of the features. These, too, had +changed. They were not dead and lustreless, but gleamed out of the +shadowy caverns into which they had sunk, unyielding, indomitable in +torment,--eyes of a spirit rebellious in the fumes . . . . + +This spirit somehow produced the sensation of its being separated from +the body, for the movement of the hand, inviting Holder to seat himself, +seemed almost automatic. + +"I understand," said Eldon Parr, "that you wish to marry my daughter." + +"It is true that I am to marry Alison," Holder answered, "and that I +intended, later on, to come to inform yon of the fact." + +He did not mention the death of Preston. Condolences, under the +circumstances, were utterly out of the question. + +"How do you propose to support her?" the banker demanded. + +"She is of age, and independent of you. You will pardon me if I reply +that this is a matter between ourselves," Holder said. + +"I had made up my mind that the day she married you I would not only +disinherit her, but refuse absolutely, to have anything to do with her." + +"If you cannot perceive what she perceives, that you have already by your +own life cut her off from you absolutely and that seeing her will not +mend matters while you remain relentless, nothing I can say will convince +you." Holder did not speak rebukingly. The utter uselessness of it was +never more apparent. The man was condemned beyond all present reprieve, +at least. + +"She left me," exclaimed Eldon Parr, bitterly. + +"She left you, to save herself." + +"We need not discuss that." + +"I am far from wishing to discuss it," Holder replied. + +"I do not know why you have asked me to come here, Mr. Parr. It is clear +that your attitude has not changed since our last conversation. I tried +to make it plain to you why the church could not accept your money. Your +own daughter, cannot accept it." + +"There was a time," retorted the banker, "when you did not refuse to +accept it." + +"Yes," Holder replied, "that is true." It came to him vividly then that +it had been Alison herself who had cast the enlightening gleam which +revealed his inconsistency. But he did not defend himself. + +"I can see nothing in all this, Mr. Hodder, but a species of insanity," +said Eldon Parr, and there crept into his tone both querulousness and +intense exasperation. "In the first place, you insist upon marrying my +daughter when neither she nor you have any dependable means of support. +She never spared her criticisms of me, and you presume to condemn me, +a man who, if he has neglected his children, has done so because he has +spent too much of his time in serving his community and his country, and +who has--if I have to say it myself--built up the prosperity which you +and others are doing your best to tear down, and which can only result in +the spread of misery. You profess to have a sympathy with the masses, +but you do not know them as I do. They cannot control themselves, they +require a strong hand. But I am not asking for your sympathy. I have +been misunderstood all my life, I have become used to ingratitude, even +from my children, and from the rector of the church for which I have done +more than any other man." + +Hodder stared at him in amazement. + +"You really believe that!" he exclaimed. + +"Believe it!" Eldon Parr repeated. "I have had my troubles, as heavy +bereavements as a man can have. All of them, even this of my son's +death, all the ingratitude and lack of sympathy I have experienced--" +(he looked deliberately at Hodder) "have not prevented me, do not prevent +me to-day from regarding my fortune as a trust. You have deprived St. +John's, at least so long as you remain there, of some of its benefits, +and the responsibility for that is on your own head. And I am now making +arrangements to give to Calvary the settlement house which St. John's +should have had." + +The words were spoken with such an air of conviction, of unconscious +plausibility, as it were, that it was impossible for Hodder to doubt the +genuineness of the attitude they expressed. And yet it was more than his +mind could grasp . . . . Horace Bentley, Richard Garvin, and the +miserable woman of the streets whom he had driven to destroy herself had +made absolutely no impression whatever! The gifts, the benefactions of +Eldon Parr to his fellow-men would go on as before! + +"You ask me why I sent for you," the banker went on. "It was primarily +because I hoped to impress upon you the folly of marrying my daughter. +And in spite of all the injury and injustice you have done me, I do not +forget that you were once in a relationship to me which has been unique +in my life. I trusted you, I admired you, for your ability, for your +faculty of getting on with men. At that time you were wise enough not +to attempt to pass comment upon accidents in business affairs which are, +if deplorable, inevitable." + +Eldon Parr's voice gave a momentary sign of breaking. + +"I will be frank with you. My son's death has led me, perhaps weakly, +to make one more appeal. You have ruined your career by these +chimerical, socialistic notions you have taken up, and which you mistake +for Christianity. As a practical man I can tell you, positively, that +St. John's will run downhill until you are bankrupt. The people who come +to you now are in search of a new sensation, and when that grows stale +they will fall away. Even if a respectable number remain in your +congregation, after this excitement and publicity have died down, I have +reason to know that it is impossible to support a large city church on +contributions. It has been tried again and again, and failed. You have +borrowed money for the Church's present needs. When that is gone I +predict that you will find it difficult to get more." + +This had every indication of being a threat, but Hodder, out of sheer +curiosity, did not interrupt. And it was evident that the banker drew a +wrong conclusion from his silence, which he may actually have taken for +reluctant acquiescence. His tone grew more assertive. + +"The Church, Mr. Hodder, cannot do without the substantial business men. +I have told the bishop so, but he is failing so rapidly from old age that +I might as well not have wasted my breath. He needs an assistant, a +suffragan or coadjutor, and I intend to make it my affair to see that he +gets one. When I remember him as he was ten years ago, I find it hard to +believe that he is touched with these fancies. To be charitable, it is +senile decay. He seems to forget what I have done for him, personally, +made up his salary, paid his expenses at different times, and no appeal +for the diocese to me was ever in vain. But again, I will let that go. + +"What I am getting at is this. You have made a mess of the affairs of +St. John's, you have made a mess of your life. I am willing to give you +the credit for sincerity. Some of my friends might not be. You want to +marry my daughter, and she is apparently determined to marry you. If you +are sensible and resign from St. John's now I will settle on Alison a +sufficient sum to allow you both to live in comfort and decency the rest +of your lives. I will not have it said of me that I permitted my +daughter to become destitute." + +After he had finished, the rector sat for so long a time that the banker +nervously shifted in his chair. The clergyman's look had a cumulative +quality, an intensity which seemed to increase as the silence continued. +There was no anger in it, no fanaticism. On the contrary, the higher +sanity of it was disturbing; and its extraordinary implication--gradually +borne in upon Eldon Parr--was that he himself were not in his right mind. +The words, when they came, were a confirmation of this inference. + +"It is what I feared, Mr. Parr," he said. "You are as yet incapable of +comprehending." + +"What do you mean?" asked the banker, jerking his hand from the table. + +The rector shook his head. + +"If this great chastisement with which you have been visited has given +you no hint of the true meaning of life, nothing I can say will avail. +If you will not yet listen to the Spirit which is trying to make you +comprehend, how then will you listen to me? How am I to open your eyes +to the paradox of truth, that he who would save his life shall lose it, +that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for +a rich man to enter into the Kingdom of God? If you will not believe him +who said that, you will not believe me. I can only beg of you, strive to +understand, that your heart many be softened, that your suffering soul +may be released." + +It is to be recorded, strangely, that Eldon Parr did not grow angry in +his turn. The burning eyes looked out at Hodder curiously, as at a being +upon whom the vials of wrath were somehow wasted, against whom the +weapons of power were of no account. The fanatic had become a phenomenon +which had momentarily stilled passion to arouse interest. . . "Art +thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things?" + +"Do you mean to say"--such was the question that sprang to Eldon Parr's +lips--"that you take the Bible literally? What is your point of view? +You speak about the salvation of souls, I have heard that kind of talk +all my life. And it is easy, I find, for men who have never known the +responsibilities of wealth to criticize and advise. I regard +indiscriminate giving as nothing less than a crime, and I have always +tried to be painstaking and judicious. If I had taken the words you +quoted at their face value, I should have no wealth to distribute to-day. + +"I, too, Mr. Hodder, odd as it may seem to you, have had my dreams--of +doing my share of making this country the best place in the world to live +in. It has pleased providence to take away my son. He was not fitted to +carry on my work,--that is the way--with dreams. I was to have taught +him to build up, and to give, as I have given. You think me embittered, +hard, because I seek to do good, to interpret the Gospel in my own way. +Before this year is out I shall have retired from all active business, + +"I intend to spend the rest of my life in giving away the money I have +earned--all of it. I do not intend to spare myself, and giving will be +harder than earning. I shall found institutions for research of disease, +hospitals, playgrounds, libraries, and schools. And I shall make the +university here one of the best in the country. What more, may I ask, +would you have me do?" + +"Ah," replied the rector, "it is not what I would have you do. It is +not, indeed, a question of 'doing,' but of seeing." + +"Of seeing?" the banker repeated. "As I say, of using judgment." + +"Judgment, yes, but the judgment which has not yet dawned for you, the +enlightenment which is the knowledge of God's will. Worldly wisdom is a +rule of thumb many men may acquire, the other wisdom, the wisdom of the +soul, is personal--the reward of revelation which springs from desire. +You ask me what I think you should do. I will tell you--but you will not +do it, you will be powerless to do it unless you see it for yourself, +unless the time shall come when you are willing to give up everything +you have held dear in life,--not your money, but your opinions, the very +judgment and wisdom you value, until you have gained the faith which +proclaims these worthless, until you are ready to receive the Kingdom of +God as a little child. You are not ready, now. Your attitude, your very +words, proclaim your blindness to all that has happened you, your +determination to carry out, so far as it is left to you, your own will. +You may die without seeing." + +Crazy as it all sounded, a slight tremor shook Eldon Parr. There was +something in the eyes, in the powerful features of the clergyman that +kept him still, that made him listen with a fascination which had he +taken cognizance of it--was akin to fear. That this man believed it, +that he would impress it upon others, nay, had already done so, the +banker did not then doubt. + +"You speak of giving," Hodder continued, "and you have nothing to give-- +nothing. You are poorer to-day than the humblest man who has seen God. +But you have much, you have all to restore." Without raising his voice, +the rector had contrived to put a mighty emphasis on the word. "You +speak of the labour of giving, but if you seek your God and haply find +him you will not rest night or day while you live until you have restored +every dollar possible of that which you have wrongfully taken from +others." + +John Hodder rose and raised his arm in effective protest against the +interruption Eldon Parr was about to make. He bore him down. + +"I know what you are going to say, Mr. Parr,--that it is not practical. +That word 'practical' is the barrier between you and your God. I tell +you that God can make anything practical. Your conscience, the spirit, +tortures you to-day, but you have not had enough torture, you still think +to escape easily, to keep the sympathy of a world which despises you. +You are afraid to do what God would have you do. You have the +opportunity, through grace, by your example to leave the world better +than you found it, to do a thing of such magnitude as is given to few +men, to confess before all that your life has been blind and wicked. +That is what the Spirit is trying to teach you. But you fear the +ridicule of the other blind men, you have not the faith to believe that +many eyes would be opened by your act. The very shame of such a +confession, you think, is not to be borne." + +"Suppose I acknowledge, which I do not, your preposterous charge, how +would you propose to do this thing?" + +"It is very simple," said the rector, "so far as the actual method of +procedure goes. You have only to establish a board of men in whom you +have confidence,--a court of claims, so to speak,--to pass upon the +validity of every application, not from a business standpoint alone, but +from one of a broad justice and equity. And not only that. I should +have it an important part of the duties of this board to discover for +themselves other claimants who may not, for various reasons, come +forward. In the case of the Consolidated Tractions, for instances there +are doubtless many men like Garvin who invested their savings largely on +the strength of your name. You cannot bring him back to life, restore +him to his family as he was before you embittered him, but it would be a +comparatively easy matter to return to his widow, with compound interest, +the sum which he invested." + +"For the sake of argument," said Eldon Parr, "what would you do with the +innumerable impostors who would overwhelm such a board with claims that +they had bought and sold stock at a loss? And that is only one case I +could mention." + +"Would it be so dreadful a thing," asked Hodder, "To run the risk of +making a few mistakes? It would not be business, you say. If you had +the desire to do this, you would dismiss such an obsession from your +brain, you would prefer to err on the aide of justice and mercy. And no +matter how able your board, in making restitution you could at best +expect to mend only a fraction of the wrongs you have done." + +"I shall waive, for the moment, my contention that the Consolidated +Tractions Company, had it succeeded, would greatly have benefited the +city. Even if it had been the iniquitous, piratical transaction you +suggest, why should I assume the responsibility for all who were +concerned in it?" + +"If the grace were given you to do this, that question would answer +itself," the rector replied. "The awful sense of responsibility, which +you now lack, would overwhelm you." + +"You have made me out a rascal and a charlatan," said Eldon Parr, "and I +have listened' patiently in my desire to be fair, to learn from your own +lips whether there were anything in the extraordinary philosophy you have +taken up, and which you are pleased to call Christianity. If you will +permit me to be as frank as you have been, it appears to me as sheer +nonsense and folly, and if it were put into practice the world would be +reduced at once to chaos and anarchy." + +"There is no danger, I am sorry to say, of its being put into practice at +once," said Hodder, smiting sadly. + +"I hope not," answered the banker, dryly. "Utopia is a dream in which +those who do the rough work of the world cannot afford to indulge. And +there is one more question. You will, no doubt, deride it as practical, +but to my mind it is very much to the point. You condemn the business +practices in which I have engaged all my life as utterly unchristian. If +you are logical, you will admit that no man or woman who owns stock in a +modern corporation is, according to your definition, Christian, and, to +use your own phrase, can enter the Kingdom of God. I can tell you, as +one who knows, that there is no corporation in this country which, in the +struggle to maintain itself, is not forced to adopt the natural law of +the survival of the fittest, which you condemn. Your own salary, while +you had it, came from men who had made the money in corporations. +Business is business, and admits of no sentimental considerations. If +you can get around that fact, I will gladly bow to your genius. Should +you succeed in reestablishing St. John's on what you call a free basis-- +and in my opinion you will not--even then the money, you would live on, +and which supported the church, would be directly or indirectly derived +from corporations." + +"I do not propose to enter into an economics argument with you, Mr. Parr, +but if you tell me that the flagrant practices indulged in by those who +organized the Consolidated Tractions Company can be excused under any +code of morals, any conception of Christianity, I tell you they cannot. +What do we see today in your business world? Boards of directors, +trusted by stockholders, betraying their trust, withholding information +in order to profit thereby, buying and selling stock secretly; stock +watering, selling to the public diluted values,--all kinds of iniquity +and abuse of power which I need not go into. Do you mean to tell me, on +the plea that business is business and hence a department by itself, that +deception, cheating, and stealing are justified and necessary? The +awakened conscience of the public is condemning you. + +"The time is at hand, though neither you nor I may live to see it, when +the public conscience itself is beginning to perceive thin higher justice +hidden from you. And you are attempting to mislead when you do not +distinguish between the men who, for their own gain and power, mismanage +such corporations as are mismanaged, and those who own stock and are +misled. + +"The public conscience of which I speak is the leaven of Christianity at +work. And we must be content to work with it, to await its fulfilment, +to realize that no one of us can change the world, but can only do his +part in making it better. The least we can do is to refuse to indulge +in practices which jeopardize our own souls, to remain poor if we cannot +make wealth honestly. Say what you will, the Christian government we are +approaching will not recognize property, because it is gradually becoming +clear that the holding of property delays the Kingdom at which you scoff, +giving the man who owns it a power over the body of the man who does not. +Property produces slavery, since it compels those who have none to work +for those who have. + +"The possession of property, or of sufficient property to give one +individual an advantage over his fellows is inconsistent with +Christianity. Hence it will be done away with, but only when enough have +been emancipated to carry this into effect. Hence the saying of our Lord +about the needle's eye--the danger to the soul of him who owns much +property." + +"And how about your Christian view of the world as a vale of tears?" +Eldon Parr inquired. + +"So long as humanity exists, there will always be tears," admitted the +rector. "But it is a false Christianity which does not bid us work for +our fellow-men, to relieve their suffering and make the world brighter. +It is becoming clear that the way to do this effectively is through +communities, cooperation, through nations, and not individuals. And +this, if you like, is practical,--so practical that the men like you, +who have gained unexampled privilege, fear it more and more. The old +Christian misconception, that the world is essentially a bad place, and +which has served the ends of your privilege, is going by forever. And +the motto of the citizens of the future will be the Christian motto, +"I am my brother's keeper." The world is a good place because the Spirit +is continually working in it, to make it better. And life is good, if +only we take the right view of it,--the revealed view." + +"What you say is all very fine," said Eldon Parr. "And I have heard it +before, from the discontented, the socialists. But it does not take into +account the one essential element, human nature." + +"On the other hand, your scheme of life fails to reckon with the greater +factor, divine nature," Hodder replied. + +"When you have lived as long as I have, perhaps you will think +differently, Mr. Hodder." Eldon Parr's voice had abruptly grown +metallic, as though the full realization had come over him of the +severity of the clergyman's arraignment; the audacity of the man who had +ventured to oppose him and momentarily defeated him, who had won the +allegiance of his own daughter, who had dared condemn him as an evil-doer +and give advice as to his future course. He, Eldon Parr, who had been +used to settle the destinies of men! His anger was suddenly at white +heat; and his voice, which he strove to control, betrayed it. + +"Since you have rejected my offer, which was made in kindness, since you +are bent on ruining my daughter's life as well as your own, and she has +disregarded my wishes, I refuse to see either of you, no matter to what +straits you may come, as long as I live. That is understood. And she +leaves this house to-day, never to enter it again. It is useless to +prolong this conversation, I think." + +"Quite useless, as I feared, Mr. Parr. Do you know why Alison is willing +to marry me? It is because the strength has been given me to oppose you +in the name of humanity, and this in spite of the fact that her love for +you to-day is greater than it has ever been before. It is a part of the +heavy punishment you have inflicted on yourself that you cannot believe +in her purity. You insist on thinking that the time will come when she +will return to you for help. In senseless anger and pride you are +driving her away from you whom you will some day need. And in that day, +should God grant you a relenting heart to make the sign, she will come to +you,--but to give comfort, not to receive it. And even as you have +threatened me, I will warn you, yet not in anger. Except a man be born +again, he cannot see the Kingdom of God, nor understand the motives of +those who would enter into it. Seek and pray for repentance." + +Infuriated though he was, before the commanding yet compassionate bearing +of the rector he remained speechless. And after a moment's pause, Hodder +turned and left the room . . . . + + + +III + +When Hodder had reached the foot of the stairs, Alison came out to him. +The mourning she wore made her seem even taller. In the face upturned to +his, framed in the black veil and paler than he had known it, were traces +of tears; in the eyes a sad, yet questioning and trustful smile. They +gazed at each other an instant, before speaking, in the luminous ecstasy +of perfect communion which shone for them, undimmed, in the surrounding +gloom of tragedy. And thus, they felt, it would always shine. Of that +tragedy of the world's sin and sorrow they would ever be conscious. +Without darkness there could be no light. + +"I knew," she said, reading his tidings, "it would be of no use. Tell me +the worst." + +"If you marry me, Alison, your father refuses to see you again. He +insists that you leave the house." + +"Then why did he wish to see you?" + +"It was to make an appeal. He thinks, of course, that I have made a +failure of life, and that if I marry you I shall drag you down to poverty +and disgrace." + +She raised her head, proudly. + +"But he knows that it is I who insist upon marrying you! I explained it +all to him--how I had asked you. Of course he did not understand. He +thinks, I suppose, that it is simply an infatuation." + +In spite of the solemnity of the moment, Hodder smiled down at her, +touched by the confession. + +"That, my dear, doesn't relieve me of responsibility. I am just as +responsible as though I had spoken first, instead of you." + +"But, John, you didn't_-?" A sudden fear made her silent. + +He took her hand and pressed it reassuringly. + +"Give you up? No, Alison," he answered simply. "When you came to me, +God put you in my keeping." + +She clung to him suddenly, in a passion of relief. + +"Oh, I never could give you up, I never would unless you yourself told me +to. Then I would do it,--for you. But you won't ask me, now?" + +He put his arm around her shoulders, and the strength of it seemed to +calm her. + +"No, dear. I would make the sacrifice, ask you to make it, if it would +be of any good. As you say, he does not understand. And you couldn't go +on living with him and loving me. That solution is impossible. We can +only hope that the time will come when he will realize his need of you, +and send for you." + +"And did he not ask you anything more?" + +Hodder hesitated. He had intended to spare her that . . . . Her +divination startled him. + +"I know, I know without your telling me. He offered you money, he +consented to our--marriage if you would give up St. John's. Oh, how +could her, she cried. "How could he so misjudge and insult you!" + +"It is not me he misjudges, Alison, it is mankind, it is God. That is +his terrible misfortune." Hodder released her tenderly. "You must see +him--you must tell him that when he needs you, you will come." + +"I will see him now, she said. You will wait for, me?" + +"Now?" he repeated, taken aback by her resolution, though it was +characteristic. + +"Yes, I will go as I am. I can send for my things. My father has given +me no choice, no reprieve,--not that I ask one. I have you, dear. I +will stay with Mr. Bentley to-night, and leave for New York to-morrow, +to do what I have to do--and then you will he ready for me." + +"Yes," he said, "I shall be ready." + +He lingered in the well-remembered hall . . . . And when at last she +came down again her eyes shone bravely through her tears, her look +answered the question of his own. There was no need for speech. With +not so much as a look behind she left, with him, her father's house. + + + +Outside, the mist had become a drizzle, and as they went down the walk +together beside the driveway she slipped her arm into his, pressing close +to his side. Her intuition was perfect, the courage of her love sublime. + +"I have you, dear," she whispered, "never in my life before have I been +rich." + +"Alison!" + +It was all he could say, but the intensity of his mingled feeling went +into the syllables of her name. An impulse made them pause and turn, +and they stood looking back together at the great house which loomed the +greater in the thickening darkness, its windows edged with glow. Never, +as in this moment when the cold rain wet their faces, had the thought of +its comfort and warmth and luxury struck him so vividly; yes, and of its +terror and loneliness now, of the tortured spirit in it that found no +rest. + +"Oh, John," she cried, "if we only could!" + +He understood her. Such was the perfect quality of their sympathy that +she had voiced his thought. What were rain and cold, the inclemency of +the elements to them? What the beauty and the warmth of those great, +empty rooms to Eldon Parr? Out of the heaven of their happiness they +looked down, helpless, into the horrors of the luxury of hell. + +"It must be," he answered her, "in God's good time." + +"Life is terrible!" she said. "Think of what he must have done to +suffer so, to be condemned to this! And when I went to him, just now, +he wouldn't even kiss me good-by. Oh, my dear, if I hadn't had you to +take me, what should I have done? . . . It never was a home to me--to any +of us. And as I look back now, all the troubles began when we moved into +it. I can only think of it as a huge prison, all the more sinister for +its costliness." + +A prison! It had once been his own conceit. He drew her gently away, +and they walked together along Park Street towards the distant arc-light +at the corner which flung a gleaming band along the wet pavement. + +"Perhaps it was because I was too young to know what trouble was when +we lived in Ransome Street," she continued. "But I can remember now +how sad my mother was at times--it almost seemed as though she had a +premonition." Alison's voice caught . . . . + +The car which came roaring through the darkness, and which stopped +protestingly at their corner, was ablaze with electricity, almost filled +with passengers. A young man with a bundle changed his place in order +that they might sit together in one of the little benches bordering the +aisle; opposite them was a laughing, clay-soiled group of labourers going +home from work; in front, a young couple with a chubby child. He stood +between his parents, facing about, gazing in unembarrassed wonder at the +dark lady with the veil. Alison's smile seemed only to increase the +solemnity of his adoration, and presently he attempted to climb over the +barrier between them. Hodder caught him, and the mother turned in alarm, +recapturing him. + +"You mustn't bother the lady, Jimmy," she said, when she had thanked the +rector. She had dimpled cheeks and sparkling blue eyes, but their +expression changed as they fell on Alison's face, expressing something +of the wonder of the child's. + +"Oh, he isn't bothering me," Alison protested. "Do let him stand." + +"He don't make up to everybody," explained the mother, and the manner of +her speech was such a frank tribute that Alison flushed. There had been, +too, in the look the quick sympathy for bereavement of the poor. + +"Aren't they nice?" Alison leaned over and whispered to Hodder, when the +woman had turned back. "One thing, at least, I shall never regret,--that +I shall have to ride the rest of my life in the streetcars. I love them. +That is probably my only qualification, dear, for a clergyman's wife." + +Hodder laughed. "It strikes me," he said, "as the supreme one." + +They came at length to Mr. Bentley's door, flung open in its usual wide +hospitality by Sam. Whatever theist fortunes, they would always be +welcome here . . . . But it turned out, in answer to their question, +that their friend was not at home. + +"No, sah," said Sam, bowing and smiling benignantly, "but he done tole +me to say, when you and Miss Alison come, hit was to make no diffunce, +dat you bofe was to have supper heah. And I'se done cooked it--yassah. +Will you kindly step into the liba'y, suh, and Miss Alison? Dar was a +lady 'crost de city, Marse Ho'ace said--yassah." + +"John," said Alison with a questioning smile, when they were alone before +the fire, "I believe he went out on purpose,--don't you?--just that we +might be here alone." + +"He knew we were coming?" + +"I wrote him." + +"I think he might be convicted on the evidence," Hodder agreed. "But--?" +His question remained unasked. + +Alison went up to him. He had watched her, absorbed and fascinated, as +with her round arms gracefully lifted in front of the old mirror she had +taken off her hat and veil; smoothing, by a few deft touches, the dark +crown of her hair. The unwonted intimacy of the moment, invoking as it +did an endless reflection of other similar moments in their future life +together, was in its effect overwhelming, bringing with it at last a +conviction not to be denied. Her colour rose as she faced him, her +lashes fell. + +"Did you seriously think, dear, that we could have deceived Mr. Bentley? +Then you are not as clever as I thought you. As soon as it happened I +sent him a note? that very night. For I felt that he ought to be told +first of all." + +"And as usual," Hodder answered, "you were right." + +Supper was but a continuation of that delicious sense of intimacy. And +Sam, beaming in his starched shirt and swallow-tail, had an air of +presiding over a banquet of state. And for that matter, none had ever +gone away hungry from this table, either for meat or love. It was, +indeed, a consecrated meal,--consecrated for being just there. Such +was the tact which the old darky had acquired from his master that he +left the dishes on the shining mahogany board, and bowed himself out. + +"When you wants me, Miss Alison, des ring de bell." + +She was seated upright yet charmingly graceful, behind the old English +coffee service which had been Mr. Bentley's mother's. And it was she +who, by her wonderful self-possession, by the reassuring smile she gave +him as she handed him his cup, endowed it all with reality. + +"It's strange," she said, "but it seems as though I had been doing it all +my life, instead of just beginning." + +"And you do it as though you had," he declared. + +"Which is a proof," she replied, "of the superior adaptability of women." + +He did not deny it. He would not then, in truth, have disputed her +wildest statement. . . But presently, after they had gone back into +the library and were seated side by side before the coals, they spoke +again of serious things, marvelling once more at a happiness which could +be tinged and yet unmarred by vicarious sorrow. Theirs was the soberer, +profounder happiness of gratitude and wonder, too wise to exult, but +which of itself is exalted; the happiness which praises, and passes +understanding. + +"There are many things I want to say to you, John," she told him, once, +"and they trouble me a little. It is only because I am so utterly +devoted to you that I wish you to know me as I am. I have always had +queer views, and although much has happened to change me since I have +known and loved you, I am not quite sure how much those views have +changed. "Love," she added, "plays such havoc with one's opinions. + +She returned his smile, but with knitted brows. + +"It's really serious--you needn't laugh. And it's only fair to you to +let you know the kind of a wife you are getting, before it is too late. +For instance, I believe in divorce, although I can't imagine it for us. +One never can, I suppose, in this condition--that's the trouble. I have +seen so many immoral marriages that I can't think God intends people +to live degraded. And I'm sick and tired of the argument that an +indissoluble marriage under all conditions is good for society. That +a man or woman, the units of society, should violate the divine in +themselves for the sake of society is absurd. They are merely setting an +example to their children to do the same thing, which means that society +in that respect will never get any better. In this love that has come +to us we have achieved an ideal which I have never thought to reach. +Oh, John, I'm sure you won't misunderstand me when I say that I would +rather die than have to lower it." + +"No," he answered, "I shall not misunderstand you." + +"Even though it is so difficult to put into words what I mean. I don't +feel that we really need the marriage service, since God has already +joined us together. And it is not through our own wills, somehow, but +through his. Divorce would not only be a crime against the spirit, it +would be an impossibility while we feel as we do. But if love should +cease, then God himself would have divorced us, punished us by taking +away a priceless gift of which we were not worthy. He would have shut +the gates of Eden in our faces because we had sinned against the Spirit. +It would be quite as true to say 'whom God has put asunder no man may +join together.' Am I hurting you?" + +Her hand was on the arm of his chair, and the act of laying his own on it +was an assurance stronger than words. Alison sighed. + +"Yes, I believed you would understand, even though I expressed myself +badly,--that you would help me, that you have found a solution. I used +to regard the marriage service as a compromise, as a lowering of the +ideal, as something mechanical and rational put in the place of the +spiritual; that it was making the Church, and therefore God, conform to +the human notion of what the welfare of society ought to be. And it is +absurd to promise to love. We have no control over our affections. They +are in God's hands, to grant or withdraw. + +"And yet I am sure--this is new since I have known you--that if such a +great love as ours be withdrawn it would be an unpardonable wrong for +either of us to marry again. That is what puzzles me--confounds the +wisdom I used to have, and which in my littleness and pride I thought so +sufficient. I didn't believe in God, but now I feel him, through you, +though I cannot define him. And one of many reasons why I could not +believe in Christ was because I took it for granted that he taught, among +other things, a continuation of the marriage relation after love had +ceased to justify it." + +Hodder did not immediately reply. Nor did Alison interrupt his silence, +but sat with the stillness which at times so marked her personality, her +eyes trustfully fixed on him. The current pulsing between them was +unbroken. Hodder's own look, as he gazed into the grate, was that of a +seer. + +"Yes," he said at length, "it is by the spirit and not the letter of our +Lord's teaching that we are guided. The Spirit which we draw from the +Gospels. And everything written down there that does not harmonize with +it is the mistaken interpretation of men. Once the Spirit possesses us +truly, we are no longer troubled and confused by texts. + +"The alpha and omega of Christ's message is rebirth into the knowledge of +that Spirit, and hence submission to its guidance. And that is what Paul +meant when he said that it freed us from the law. You are right, Alison, +when you declare it to be a violation of the Spirit for a man and woman +to live together when love does not exist. Christ shows us that laws +were made for those who are not reborn. Laws are the rules of society, +to be followed by those who have not found the inner guidance, who live +and die in the flesh. But the path which those who live under the +control of the Spirit are to take is opened up to them as they journey. +If all men and women were reborn we should have the paradox, which only +the reborn can understand, of what is best for the individual being best +for society, because under the will of the Spirit none can transgress +upon the rights and happiness of others. The Spirit would make the laws +and rules superfluous. + +"And the great crime of the Church, for which she is paying so heavy an +expiation, is that her faith wavered, and she forsook the Spirit and +resumed the law her Master had condemned. She no longer insisted on that +which Christ proclaimed as imperative, rebirth. She became, as you say, +a mechanical organization, substituting, as the Jews had done, hard and +fast rules for inspiration. She abandoned the Communion of Saints, sold +her birthright for a mess of pottage, for worldly, temporal power when +she declared that inspiration had ceased with the Apostles, when she +failed to see that inspiration is personal, and comes through rebirth. +For the sake of increasing her membership, of dominating the affairs of +men, she has permitted millions who lived in the law and the flesh, who +persisted in forcing men to live by the conventions and customs Christ +repudiated, and so stultify themselves, to act in Christ's name. The +unpardonable sin against the Spirit is to doubt its workings, to maintain +that society will be ruined if it be substituted for the rules and +regulations supposed to make for the material comforts of the nations, +but which in reality suppress and enslave the weak. + +"Nevertheless in spite of the Church, marvellously through the Church the +germ of our Lord's message has come down to us, and the age in which we +live is beginning to realize its purport, to condemn the Church for her +subservient rationalism. + +"Let us apply the rule of the Spirit to marriage. If we examine the +ideal we shall see clearly that the marriage-service is but a symbol. +Like baptism, it is a worthless and meaningless rite unless the man and +the woman have been born again into the Spirit, released from the law. +If they are still, as St. Paul would say, in the flesh, let them have, +if they wish, a civil permit to live together, for the Spirit can have +nothing to do with such an union. True to herself, the Church symbolizes +the union of her members, the reborn. She has nothing to do with laws +and conventions which are supposedly for the good of society, nor is any +union accomplished if those whom she supposedly joins are not reborn. +If they are, the Church can neither make it or dissolve it, but merely +confirm and acknowledge the work of the Spirit. And every work of the +Spirit is a sacrament. Not baptism and communion and marriage only, but +every act of life. + +"Oh, John," she exclaimed, her eyes lighting, "I can believe that! How +beautiful a thought! I see now what is meant when it is said that man +shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of +the mouth of God. That is the hourly guidance which is independent +of the law. And how terrible to think that all the spiritual beauty of +such a religion should have been hardened into chapter and verse and +regulation. You have put into language what I think of Mr. Bentley,-- +that has acts are sacraments . . . . It is so simple when you explain +it this way. And yet I can see why it was said, too, that we must become +as children to understand it." + +"The difficult thing," replied Holder, gravely, "is to retain it, to hold +it after we have understood it--even after we have experienced it. To +continue to live in the Spirit demands all our effort, all our courage +and patience and faith. We cannot, as you say, promise to love for life. +But the marriage service, interpreted, means that we will use all our +human endeavour, with the help of the Spirit, to remain in what may be +called the reborn state, since it is by the Spirit alone that true +marriage is sanctified. When the Spirit is withdrawn, man and woman +are indeed divorced. + +"The words 'a sense of duty' belong to moral philosophy and not to +religion. Love annuls them. I do not mean to decry them, but the reborn +are lifted far above them by the subversion of the will by which our will +is submitted to God's. It is so we develop, and become, as it were, God. +And hence those who are not married in the Spirit are not spiritually man +and wife. No consecration has taken place, Church or no Church. If +rebirth occurs later, to either or both, the individual conscience--which +is the Spirit, must decide whether, as regards each other, they are bound +or free, and we must stand or fall by that. Men object that this is +opening the door to individualism. What they fail to see is that the +door is open, wide, to-day and can never again be closed: that the law +of the naturally born is losing its power, that the worn-out authority of +the Church is being set at naught because that authority was devised by +man to keep in check those who were not reborn. The only check to +material individualism is spiritual individualism, and the reborn man +or woman cannot act to the detriment of his fellow-creatures." + +In her turn she was silent, still gazing at him, her breath coming +deeply, for she was greatly moved. + +"Yes," she said simply, "I can see now why divorce between us would be a +sacrilege. I felt it, John, but I couldn't reason it out. It is the +consecration of the Spirit that justifies the union of the flesh. For +the Spirit, in that sense, does not deny the flesh." + +"That would be to deny life," Hodder replied. + +"I see. Why was it all so hidden!" The exclamation was not addressed to +him--she was staring pensively into the fire. But presently, with a +swift movement, she turned to him. + +"You will preach this, John,--all of it!" + +It was not a question, but the cry of a new and wider vision of his task. +Her face was transfigured. And her voice, low and vibrating, expressed +no doubts. "Oh, I am proud of you! And if they put you out and +persecute you I shall always be proud, I shall never know why it was +given me to have this, and to live. Do you remember saying to me once +that faith comes to us in some human form we love? You are my faith. +And faith in you is my faith in humanity, and faith in God." + +Ere he could speak of his own faith in her, in mankind, by grace of which +he had been lifted from the abyss, there came a knock at the door. And +even as they answered it a deeper knowledge filtered into their hearts. + +Horace Bentley stood before them. And the light from his face, that +shone down upon them, was their benediction. + + + + +AFTERWORD + +Although these pages have been published serially, it is with a feeling +of reluctance that I send them out into the world, for better or worse, +between the covers of a book. They have been written with reverence, and +the reading of the proofs has brought back to me vividly the long winters +in which I pondered over the matter they contain, and wrote and rewrote +the chapters. + +I had not thought to add anything to them by way of an afterword. +Nothing could be farther from my mind than to pose as a theologian; and, +were it not for one or two of the letters I have received, I should have +supposed that no reader could have thought of making the accusation that +I presumed to speak for any one except myself. In a book of this kind, +the setting forth of a personal view of religion is not only unavoidable, +but necessary; since, if I wrote sincerely, Mr. Hodder's solution must +coincide with my own--so far as I have been able to work one out. Such +as it is, it represents many years of experience and reflection. And I +can only crave the leniency of any trained theologian who may happen to +peruse it. + +No one realizes, perhaps, the incompleteness of the religious +interpretations here presented more keenly than I. More significant, +more vital elements of the truth are the rewards of a mind which searches +and craves, especially in these days when the fruit of so many able minds +lies on the shelves of library and bookshop. Since the last chapter was +written, many suggestions have come to me which I should like to have the +time to develop for this volume. But the nature of these elements is +positive,--I can think of nothing I should care to subtract. + +Here, then, so far as what may be called religious doctrine is concerned, +is merely a personal solution. We are in an age when the truth is being +worked out through many minds, a process which seems to me both Christian +and Democratic. Yet a gentleman has so far misunderstood this that he +has already accused me, in a newspaper, of committing all the heresies +condemned by the Council of Chalcedon,--and more! + +I have no doubt that he is right. My consolation must be that I have as +company--in some of my heresies, at least--a goodly array of gentlemen +who wear the cloth of the orthodox churches whose doctrines he accuses me +of denying. The published writings of these clergymen are accessible to +all. The same critic declares that my interpretations are without +"authority." This depends, of course; on one's view of "authority." But +his accusation is true equally against many men who--if my observation be +correct--are doing an incalculable service for religion by giving to the +world their own personal solutions, interpreting Christianity in terms of +modern thought. No doubt these, too, are offending the champions of the +Council of Chalcedon. + +And does the gentleman, may I ask, ever read the pages of the Hibbert +Journal? + +Finally, I have to meet a more serious charge, that Mr. Hodder remains +in the Church because of "the dread of parting with the old, strong +anchorage, the fear of anathema and criticism, the thought of sorrowing +and disapproving friends." Or perhaps he infers that it is I who keep +Mr. Hodder in the Church for these personal reasons. Alas, the concern +of society is now for those upon whom the Church has lost her hold, who +are seeking for a solution they can accept. And the danger to-day is not +from the side of heresy. The rector of St. John's, as a result of his +struggle, gained what I believe to be a higher and surer faith than that +which he formerly held, and in addition to this the realization of the +presence of a condition which was paralyzing the Church's influence. + +One thing I had hoped to make clear, that if Mr. Hodder had left the +Church under these circumstances he would have made the Great Refusal. +The situation which he faced demanded something of the sublime courage +of his Master. + +Lastly, may I be permitted to add that it is far from my intention to +reflect upon any particular denomination. The instance which I have +taken is perhaps a pronounced rather than a particular case of the +problem to which I have referred, and which is causing the gravest +concern to thoughtful clergymen and laymen of all denominations. + + +WINSTON CHURCHILL + +SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA +March 31,1913. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Absurd to promise to love +Always getting glimpses of things when it is too late +God himself would have divorced us +Happiness of gratitude and wonder, too wise to exult +Love," she added, "plays such havoc with one's opinions +We have no control over our affections + + + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS OF THE ENTIRE "INSIDE OF THE CUP": + +Absurd to promise to love +Acceptance of authority is not faith, it is mere credulity +Always getting glimpses of things when it is too late +Antipathy to forms +Bad music, she said, offended her +Can't believe in the doctrine of the virgin birth +Clothes of one man are binding on another +Conviction that all things were as they ought to be +Deification of beauty to the exclusion of all else +Economic slavery +Elaborate attention little men are apt to bestow upon women +Even after all these ages, the belief, the hope would not down +Faith may be likened to an egg +Foolish sacrifices are worse than useless +For ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter +Futility of the traditional words of comfort +Genius, analyzed, is often disappointing +God himself would have divorced us +Had a habit of not waiting for answers to her questions +Happiness of gratitude and wonder, too wise to exult +He was what is known as a "success"--always that magic word +Hell's here--isn't it? +How to be silent with a clamouring heart +I see no one upon whom I can rely but myself +I hate humility +I'm always searching for things to do +If Christians were logical, they should be Socialists +Immortality as orthodox Christianity depicts it +Impulse had brought him thus far +Indiscriminate, unreasoning self-sacrifice +Individualism with which the Church can have no sympathy +Intellectually lazy +Know a great deal and don't believe anything +Knowledge puts faith out of the question +Logical result of independent thinking is anarchy +Love," she added, "plays such havoc with one's opinions +Luxuries formerly unthought of seemed to become necessities +Material proof, it seems to me, is a denial of faith +Mistaking the effect for the cause +Mixture of awkwardness and straightforwardness +Not given to trite acquiescence +Olmah which Isaiah uses does not mean virgin +Only one regret as to what you said--that it is true +Pleasure? Yes. It makes me feel as if I were of some use +Religion, I think, should be everybody's (profession) +Rule which you so confidently apply to fit all cases +Scandalously forced through the council of Nicaea +Seeking a forgiveness out of all proportion to the trespass +St Paul, you say, put us in our proper place +Success--which was really failure +Sunday was then a day essentially different from other days +The law cannot fit all cases +The weak always sink +The hours of greatest suffering are the empty hours +Thinking isn't--believing +Vagueness generally attributed to her sex +Vividly unreal, as a toy village comes painted from the shop +We must believe, if we believe at all, without authority +We are always trying to get away from ourselves +We never can foresee how we may change +We have no control over our affections +When our brief span of usefulness is done +Who had learned the lesson of mothers,--how to wait +Whole conception of charity is a crime against civilization +You and your religion are as far apart as the poles + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK INSIDE OF THE CUP, ALL, BY CHURCHILL *** + +************ This file should be named wc27w10.txt or wc27w10.zip ************* + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, wc27w11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, wc27w10a.txt + +This eBook was produced by David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we usually do not +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance +of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing. +Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections, +even years after the official publication date. + +Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til +midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement. +The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at +Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A +preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment +and editing by those who wish to do so. + +Most people start at our Web sites at: +http://gutenberg.net or +http://promo.net/pg + +These Web sites include award-winning information about Project +Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new +eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!). + + +Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement +can get to them as follows, and just download by date. This is +also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the +indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an +announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter. + +http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or +ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03 + +Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90 + +Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want, +as it appears in our Newsletters. + + +Information about Project Gutenberg (one page) + +We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The +time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours +to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright +searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. Our +projected audience is one hundred million readers. If the value +per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2 +million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text +files per month: 1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+ +We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002 +If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total +will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end. + +The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks! +This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers, +which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users. + +Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated): + +eBooks Year Month + + 1 1971 July + 10 1991 January + 100 1994 January + 1000 1997 August + 1500 1998 October + 2000 1999 December + 2500 2000 December + 3000 2001 November + 4000 2001 October/November + 6000 2002 December* + 9000 2003 November* +10000 2004 January* + + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created +to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people +and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, +Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, +Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, +Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New +Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, +Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South +Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West +Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. + +We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones +that have responded. + +As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list +will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states. +Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state. + +In answer to various questions we have received on this: + +We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally +request donations in all 50 states. If your state is not listed and +you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have, +just ask. + +While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are +not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting +donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to +donate. + +International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about +how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made +deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are +ways. + +Donations by check or money order may be sent to: + +Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +PMB 113 +1739 University Ave. +Oxford, MS 38655-4109 + +Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment +method other than by check or money order. + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by +the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN +[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154. Donations are +tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law. As fund-raising +requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be +made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states. + +We need your donations more than ever! + +You can get up to date donation information online at: + +http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html + + +*** + +If you can't reach Project Gutenberg, +you can always email directly to: + +Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com> + +Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message. + +We would prefer to send you information by email. + + +**The Legal Small Print** + + +(Three Pages) + +***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START*** +Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers. +They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with +your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from +someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our +fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement +disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how +you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to. + +*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK +By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept +this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive +a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by +sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person +you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical +medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request. + +ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS +This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks, +is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart +through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project"). +Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright +on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and +distribute it in the United States without permission and +without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth +below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook +under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark. + +Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market +any commercial products without permission. + +To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable +efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain +works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any +medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other +things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other +intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged +disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer +codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. + +LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES +But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below, +[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may +receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims +all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including +legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR +UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT, +INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE +OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE +POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES. + +If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of +receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) +you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that +time to the person you received it from. If you received it +on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and +such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement +copy. If you received it electronically, such person may +choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to +receive it electronically. + +THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS +TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT +LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A +PARTICULAR PURPOSE. + +Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or +the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the +above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you +may have other legal rights. + +INDEMNITY +You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation, +and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated +with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm +texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including +legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the +following that you do or cause: [1] distribution of this eBook, +[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook, +or [3] any Defect. + +DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm" +You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by +disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this +"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg, +or: + +[1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this + requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the + eBook or this "small print!" statement. You may however, + if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable + binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form, + including any form resulting from conversion by word + processing or hypertext software, but only so long as + *EITHER*: + + [*] The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and + does *not* contain characters other than those + intended by the author of the work, although tilde + (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may + be used to convey punctuation intended by the + author, and additional characters may be used to + indicate hypertext links; OR + + [*] The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at + no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent + form by the program that displays the eBook (as is + the case, for instance, with most word processors); + OR + + [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at + no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the + eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC + or other equivalent proprietary form). + +[2] Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this + "Small Print!" statement. + +[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the + gross profits you derive calculated using the method you + already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you + don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are + payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation" + the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were + legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent + periodic) tax return. Please contact us beforehand to + let us know your plans and to work out the details. + +WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO? +Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of +public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed +in machine readable form. + +The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time, +public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses. +Money should be paid to the: +"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or +software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at: +hart@pobox.com + +[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only +when distributed free of all fees. Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by +Michael S. Hart. Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be +used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be +they hardware or software or any other related product without +express permission.] + +*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END* + |
