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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #53486 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/53486)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Three Fates, by F. Marion Crawford
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Three Fates
-
-Author: F. Marion Crawford
-
-Release Date: November 9, 2016 [EBook #53486]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE THREE FATES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images generously made available by The
-Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE THREE FATES
-
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-[Illustration]
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- THE THREE FATES
-
-
- BY
-
- F. MARION CRAWFORD
-
- AUTHOR OF “MR. ISAACS,” “DR. CLAUDIUS,” “SARACINESCA,” ETC.
-
-
- London
-
- MACMILLAN AND CO.
-
- AND NEW YORK
-
- 1893
-
- _All rights reserved_
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- COPYRIGHT, 1891,
-
- BY MACMILLAN AND CO.
-
- _Set up and electrotyped January, 1892._
- _Reprinted April, May, October, 1892._
-
-
- TYPOGRAPHY BY J. S. CUSHING & CO., BOSTON, U.S.A.
-
- PRESSWORK BY BERWICK & SMITH, BOSTON, U.S.A.
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- To
-
- FREDERICK MACMILLAN
-
- AN EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE
-
- FROM AN AUTHOR TO HIS PUBLISHER
-
- AND OF HIGH ESTEEM ENTERTAINED
-
- BY ONE MAN FOR ANOTHER
-
- ROME, _February 21, 1892_
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-
- THE THREE FATES.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER I.
-
-
-Jonah Wood was bitterly disappointed in his son. During five and twenty
-years he had looked in vain for the development of those qualities in
-George, which alone, in his opinion, could insure success. But though
-George could talk intelligently about the great movements of business in
-New York, it was clear by this time that he did not possess what his
-father called business instincts. The old man could have forgiven him
-his defective appreciation in the matter of dollars and cents, however,
-if he had shown the slightest inclination to adopt one of the regular
-professions; in other words, if George had ceased to waste his time in
-the attempt to earn money with his pen, and had submitted to becoming a
-scribe in a lawyer’s office, old Wood would have been satisfied. The
-boy’s progress might have been slow, but it would have been sure.
-
-It was strange to see how this elderly man, who had been ruined by the
-exercise of his own business faculties, still pinned his faith upon his
-own views and theories of finance, and regarded it as a real misfortune
-to be the father of a son who thought differently from himself. It would
-have satisfied the height of his ambition to see George installed as a
-clerk on a nominal salary in one of the great banking houses. Possibly,
-at an earlier period, and before George had finally refused to enter a
-career of business, there may have been in the bottom of the old man’s
-heart a hope that his son might some day become a financial power, and
-wreak vengeance for his own and his father’s losses upon Thomas Craik or
-his heirs after him; but if this wish existed Jonah Wood had honestly
-tried to put it out of the way. He was of a religious disposition, and
-his moral rectitude was above all doubt. He did not forgive his enemies,
-but he sincerely meant to do so, and did his best not to entertain any
-hope of revenge.
-
-The story of his wrongs was a simple one. He had formerly been a very
-successful man. Of a good New England family, he had come to New York
-when very young, possessed of a small capital, full of integrity,
-industry, and determination. At the age of forty he was at the head of a
-banking firm which had for a time enjoyed a reputation of some
-importance. Then he had married a young lady of good birth and
-possessing a little fortune, to whom he had been attached for years and
-who had waited for him with touching fidelity. Twelve months later, she
-had died in giving birth to George. Possibly the terrible shock weakened
-Jonah Wood’s nerves and disturbed the balance of his faculties. At all
-events it was at this time that he began to enter into speculation. At
-first he was very successful, and his success threw him into closer
-intimacy with Thomas Craik, a cousin of his dead wife’s. For a time
-everything prospered with the bank, while Wood acquired the habit of
-following Craik’s advice. On an ill-fated day, however, the latter
-persuaded him to invest largely in a certain railway not yet begun, but
-which was completed in a marvellously short space of time. In the course
-of a year or two it was evident that the road, which Craik insisted on
-running upon the most ruinous principles, must soon become bankrupt. It
-had of course been built to compete with an old established line; the
-usual war of rates set in, the old road suffered severely, and the young
-one was ruined. This was precisely what Craik had anticipated. So soon
-as the bankruptcy was declared and the liquidation terminated, he bought
-up every bond and share upon which he could lay his hands. Wood was
-ruined, together with a number of other heavy investors. The road,
-however, having ceased to pay interest on its debts continued to run at
-rates disastrous to its more honest competitor, and before long the
-latter was obliged in self-defence to buy up its rival. When that
-extremity was reached Thomas Craik was in possession of enough bonds and
-stock to give him a controlling interest, and he sold the ruined railway
-at his own price, realising a large fortune by the transaction. Wood was
-not only financially broken; his reputation, too, had suffered in the
-catastrophe. At first, people looked askance at him, believing that he
-had got a share of the profits, and that he was only pretending poverty
-until the scandal should blow over, though he had in reality sacrificed
-almost everything he possessed in the honourable liquidation of the
-bank’s affairs, and found himself, at the age of fifty-seven, in
-possession only of the small fortune that had been his wife’s, and of
-the small house which had escaped the general ruin, and in which he now
-lived. Thomas Craik had robbed him, as he had robbed many others, and
-Jonah Wood knew it, though there was no possibility of ever recovering a
-penny of his losses. His nerve was gone, and by the time people had
-discovered that he was the most honest of men, he was more than half
-forgotten by those he had known best. He had neither the energy nor the
-courage to begin life again, and although he had cleared his reputation
-of all blame, he knew that he had made the great mistake, and that no
-one would ever again trust to his judgment. It seemed easiest to live in
-the little house, to get what could be got out of life for himself and
-his son on an income of scarcely two thousand dollars, and to shut
-himself out from his former acquaintance.
-
-And yet, though his own career had ended in such lamentable failure, he
-would gladly have seen George begin where he had begun. George would
-have succeeded in doing all those things which he himself had left
-undone, and he might have lived to see established on a firm basis the
-great fortune which for a few brief years had been his in a floating
-state. But George could not be brought to understand this point of view.
-His youthful recollections were connected with monetary disaster, and
-his first boyish antipathies had been conceived against everything that
-bore the name of business. What he felt for the career of the
-money-maker was more than antipathy; it amounted to a positive horror
-which he could not overcome. From time to time his father returned to
-the old story of his wrongs and misfortunes, going over the tale as he
-sat with George through the long winter evenings, and entering into
-every detail of the transaction which had ruined him. In justice to the
-young man it must be admitted that he was patient on those occasions,
-and listened with outward calm to the long technical explanations, the
-interminable concatenation of figures and the jarring cadence of phrases
-that all ended with the word dollars. But the talk was as painful to him
-as a violin played out of tune is to a musician, and it reacted upon his
-nerves and produced physical pain of an acute kind. He could set his
-features in an expression of respectful attention, but he could not help
-twisting his long smooth fingers together under the edge of the table,
-where his father could not see them. The very name of money disgusted
-him, and when the great failure had been talked of in the evening it
-haunted his dreams throughout the night and destroyed his rest, so that
-he awoke with a sense of nervousness and distress from which he could
-not escape until late in the following day.
-
-Jonah Wood saw more of this peculiarity than his son suspected, though
-he failed to understand it. With him, nervousness took a different form,
-manifesting itself in an abnormal anxiety concerning George’s welfare,
-combined with an unfortunate disposition to find fault. Of late, indeed,
-he had not been able to accuse the young man of idleness, since he was
-evidently working to the utmost of his strength, though his occupations
-brought him but little return. It seemed a pity to Jonah Wood that so
-much good time and so much young energy should be wasted over pen, ink,
-paper, and books which left no record of a daily substantial gain. He,
-too, slept little, though his iron-grey face betrayed nothing of what
-passed in his mind.
-
-He loved his son in his own untrusting way. It was his affection,
-combined with his inability to believe much good of what he loved, that
-undermined and embittered the few pleasures still left to him. He had
-never seen any hope except in money, and since George hated the very
-mention of lucre there could be no hope for him either. A good man, a
-scrupulously honest man according to his lights, he could only see
-goodness from one point of view and virtue represented in one dress.
-Goodness was obedience to parental authority, and virtue the imitation
-of parental ideas. George believed that obedience should play no part in
-determining what he should do with his talent, and that imitation,
-though it be the sincerest flattery, may lay the foundation for the most
-hopeless of all failures, the failure to do that for which a man is best
-adapted. George had not deliberately chosen a literary career because he
-felt himself fitted for it. He was in reality far too modest to look
-forward from the first to the ultimate satisfaction of his ambitions.
-His lonely life had driven him to writing as a means of expressing
-himself without incurring his father’s criticism and contradiction. Not
-understanding in the least the nature of imagination, he believed
-himself lacking in this respect, but he had at once found an immense
-satisfaction in writing down his opinions concerning certain new books
-that had fallen into his hands. Then, being emboldened by that belief in
-his own judgment which young men acquire very easily when they are not
-brought into daily contact with their intellectual equals, he had
-ventured to offer the latest of his attempts to one editor and then to
-another and another. At last he had found one who chanced to be in a
-human humour and who glanced at one of the papers.
-
-“It is not worthless,” said the autocrat, “but it is quite useless.
-Everybody has done with the book months ago. Do you want to earn a
-little money by reviewing?”
-
-George expressed his readiness to do so with alacrity. The editor
-scribbled half a dozen words on a slip of paper from a block and handed
-it to George, telling him where to take it. As a first result the young
-man carried away a couple of volumes of new-born trash upon which to try
-his hand. A quarter of what he wrote was published in the literary
-column of the newspaper. He had yet to learn the cynical practice of
-counting words, upon which so much depends in dealing with the daily
-press, but the idea of actually earning something, no matter how little,
-overcame his first feeling of disgust at the nature of the work. In time
-he acquired the necessary tricks and did very well. By sheer
-determination he devoted all his best hours of the day to the drudgery
-of second class criticism, and only allowed himself to write what was
-agreeable to his own brain when the day’s work was done.
-
-The idea of producing a book did not suggest itself to him. In his own
-opinion he had none of the necessary gifts for original writing, while
-he fancied that he possessed those of the critic in a rather unusual
-degree. His highest ambition was to turn out a volume of essays on other
-people’s doings and writings, and he was constantly labouring in his
-leisure moments at long papers treating of celebrated works, in what he
-believed to be a spirit of profound analysis. As yet no one had bestowed
-the slightest attention upon his efforts; no serious article of his had
-found its way into the press, though a goodly number of his carefully
-copied manuscripts had issued from the offices of various periodicals in
-the form of waste paper. Strange to say, he was not discouraged by these
-failures. The satisfaction, so far as he had known any, had consisted in
-the writing down of his views; and though he wished it were possible to
-turn his ink-stained pages into money, his natural detestation of all
-business transactions whatsoever made him extremely philosophical in
-repeated failure. Even in regard to his daily drudgery, which was
-regularly paid, the least pleasant moment was the one when he had to
-begin his round from one newspaper cashier to another to receive the
-little cheques which made him independent of his father so far as his
-only luxuries of new books and tobacco were concerned. Pride, indeed,
-was now at the bottom of his resolution to continue in the uninteresting
-course that had been opened before him. Having once succeeded in buying
-for himself what he wanted or needed beyond his daily bread he would
-have been ashamed to ever go again for pocket-money to his father.
-
-The nature of this occupation, which he would not relinquish, was
-beginning to produce its natural effect upon his character. He felt that
-he was better than his work, and the inevitable result ensued. He felt
-that he was hampered and tied, and that every hour spent in such labour
-was a page stolen from the book of his reputation; that he was giving
-for a pitiful wage the precious time in which something important might
-have been accomplished, and that his life would turn out a failure if it
-continued to run on much longer in the same groove. And yet he assumed
-that it would be absolutely impossible for him to abandon his drudgery
-in order to devote himself solely to the series of essays on which he
-had pinned his hopes of success. His serious work, as he called it, made
-little progress when interrupted at every step by the necessity for
-writing twaddle about trash.
-
-It may be objected that George Wood should not have written twaddle, but
-should have employed his best energies in the improvement of second
-class literature by systematically telling the truth about it.
-Unfortunately the answer to such a stricture is not far to seek. If he
-had written what he thought, the newspapers would have ceased to employ
-him; not that it is altogether impossible to write honestly about the
-great rivers of minor books which flow east and west and north and south
-from the publishers’ gardens, but because the critic who has the age,
-experience, and talent to bestow faint praise without inflicting
-damnation commands a high price and cannot be wasted on little authors
-and their little publications. The beginner often knows that he is
-writing twaddle and regrets it, and he very likely knows how to write in
-strains of enthusiastic eulogium or of viciously cruel abuse; but though
-he have all these things, he has not yet acquired the unaffected charity
-which covers a multitude of sins, and which is the result of an ancient
-and wise good feeling entertained between editors, publishers and
-critics. He cannot really feel mildly well disposed towards a book he
-despises, and his only chance of expressing gentle sentiments not his
-own, lies in the plentiful use of unmitigated twaddle. If he remains a
-critic, he is either lifted out of the sphere of the daily saleable
-trash to that of serious first class literature, or else he imbibes
-through the pores of his soul such proportional parts of the editor’s
-and the publisher’s wishes as shall combine in his own character and
-produce the qualities which they both desire to find there and to see
-expressed in his paragraphs.
-
-It could not be said that George Wood was discontented with what he
-found to do, so much as with being constantly hindered from doing
-something better. And that better thing which he would have done, and
-believed that he could have done, was in reality far from having reached
-the stage of being clearly defined. He had never felt any strong liking
-for fiction, and his mind had been nourished upon unusually solid
-intellectual food, while the outward circumstances of his life had
-necessarily left much to his imagination, which to most young men of
-five and twenty is already matter of experience. As a boy he had been
-too much with older people, and had therefore thought too much to be
-boyish. Possibly, too, he had seen more than was good for him, for his
-father had left him but a short time at school in the days of their
-prosperity, and, being unable to leave New York for any length of time,
-had more than once sent him abroad with an elderly tutor from whom the
-lad had acquired all sorts of ideas that were too big for him. He had
-been wrongly supposed to be of a delicate constitution, too, and had
-been indulged in all manner of intellectual whims and fancies, whereby
-he had gained a smattering of many sciences and literatures at an age
-when he ought to have been following a regular course of instruction.
-Then, before he was thought old enough to enter a university, the crash
-had come.
-
-Jonah Wood was far too conscientious a man not to sacrifice whatever he
-could for the completion of his son’s education. For several years he
-deprived himself of every luxury, in order that George might have the
-assistance he so greatly needed while making his studies at Columbia
-College in his native city. Then only did the father realise how he had
-erred in allowing the boy to receive the desultory and aimless teaching
-that had seemed so generous in the days of wealth. He knew more or less
-well a variety of subjects of which his companions were wholly ignorant,
-but he was utterly unversed in much of their knowledge. And this was not
-all, for George had acquired from his former tutor a misguided contempt
-for the accepted manner of dealing with certain branches of learning,
-without possessing that grasp of the matters in hand which alone
-justifies a man in thinking differently from the great mass of his
-fellows. It is not well to ridicule the American method of doing things
-until one is master of some other.
-
-It was from the time when George entered college that he began to be a
-constant source of disappointment to his father. The elderly man had
-received a good, old-fashioned, thoroughly prejudiced education, and
-though he remembered little Latin and less Greek, he had not forgotten
-the way in which he had been made to learn both. George’s way of talking
-about his studies disturbed his father’s sense of intellectual
-propriety, which was great, without exciting his curiosity, which was
-infinitesimally small. With him also prevailed the paternal view which
-holds that young men must necessarily distinguish themselves above their
-companions if they really possess any exceptional talent, and his peace
-of mind was further endangered by his sense of responsibility for
-George’s beginnings. If he had believed that George was stupid, he would
-have resigned himself to that dispensation of Providence. But he thought
-otherwise. The boy was not an ordinary boy, and if he failed to prove it
-by taking prizes in competition, he must be lazy or his preparation must
-have been defective. No other alternative was to be found, and the fault
-therefore lay either with himself or with his father.
-
-George never obtained a prize, and barely passed his examinations at
-all. Jonah Wood made a point of seeing all his examiners as well as the
-instructors who had known him during his college life. Three-quarters of
-the number asserted that the young fellow was undeniably clever, and
-added, expressing themselves with professorial politeness, that his
-previous studies seemed to have taken a direction other than that of the
-college “curriculum,” as they called it. The professor of Greek presumed
-that George might have distinguished himself in Latin, the professor of
-Latin surmised that Greek might have been his strong point; both
-believed that he had talent for mathematics, while the mathematician
-remarked that he seemed to have a very good understanding, but that it
-would be turned to better account in the pursuit of classical studies.
-Jonah Wood returned to his home very much disturbed in mind, and from
-that day his anxiety steadily increased. As it became more clear that
-his son would never accept a business career, but would probably waste
-his opportunities in literary dabbling, the good man’s alarm became
-extreme. He did not see that George’s one true talent lay in his ready
-power of assimilating unfamiliar knowledge by a process of intuition
-that escapes methodical learners, any more than he understood that the
-boy’s one solid acquirement was the power of using his own language. He
-was not to be too much blamed, perhaps, for the young man himself was
-only dimly conscious of his yet undeveloped power. What made him write
-was neither the pride of syntax nor the certainty of being right in his
-observations; he was driven to paper to escape from the torment of the
-desire to express something, he knew not what, which he could express in
-no other way. He found no congenial conversation at home and little
-abroad, and yet he felt that he had something to say and must say it.
-
-It should not be supposed that either Jonah Wood’s misfortunes or his
-poverty, which was after all comparative, though hard to bear, prevented
-George from mixing in the world with which he was connected by his
-mother’s birth, and to some extent by his father’s former position. The
-old gentleman, indeed, was too proud to renew his acquaintance with
-people who had thought him dishonourable until he had proved himself
-spotless; but the very demonstration of his uprightness had been so
-convincing and clear that it constituted a patent of honour for his son.
-Many persons who had blamed themselves for their hasty judgment would
-have been glad to make amends by their cordial reception of the man they
-had so cruelly mistaken. George, however, was quite as proud as his
-father, and much more sensitive. He remembered well enough the
-hard-hearted, boyish stare he had seen in the eyes of some of his
-companions when he was but just seventeen years old, and later, at
-college, when his father’s self-sacrifice was fully known, and his old
-associates had held out their hands to his in the hope of making
-everything right again, George had met them with stony eyes and scornful
-civility. It was not easy to forgive, and with all his excellent
-qualities and noble honesty of purpose, Jonah Wood was not altogether
-displeased to know that his son held his head high and drew back from
-the renewal of fair weather friendships. Almost against his will he
-encouraged him in his conduct, while doing his best to appear at least
-indifferent.
-
-George needed but little encouragement to remain in social obscurity,
-though he was conscious of a rather contemptible hope that he might one
-day play a part in society, surrounded by all the advantages of wealth
-and general respect which belong especially to those few who possess
-both, by inheritance rather than as a result of their own labours. He
-was not quite free from that subtle aristocratic taint which has touched
-so many members of American society. Like the wind, no man can tell
-whence it comes nor whither it goes; but unlike the ill wind in the
-proverb it blows no good to any one. It is not the breath of that
-republican inequality which is caused by two men extracting a different
-degree of advantage from the same circumstances; it is not the
-inevitable inequality produced by the inevitable struggle for existence,
-wealth and power; but it is the fictitious inequality caused by the
-pretence that the accident of a man’s birth should of itself constitute
-for him a claim to have special opportunities made for him, adapted to
-his use and protected by law for his particular benefit. It is a fallacy
-which is in the air, and which threatens to produce evil consequences
-wherever it becomes localised.
-
-Perhaps, at some future time yet far distant, a man will arise who shall
-fathom and explain the great problems presented by human vanity. No more
-interesting study could be found wherewith to occupy the greatest mind,
-and assuredly none in the pursuit of which a man would be so constantly
-confronted by new and varied matter for research. One main fact at least
-we know. Vanity is the boundless, circumambient and all-penetrating
-ether in which all man’s thoughts and actions have being and receive
-manifestation. All moral and intellectual life is either full of it and
-in sympathy with it, breathing it as our bodies breathe the air, or is
-out of balance with it in the matter of quantity and is continually
-struggling to restore its own lost equilibrium. It is as impossible to
-conceive of anything being done in the world without also conceiving the
-element of vanity as the medium for the action, as it is to imagine
-motion without space, or time without motion. To say that any man who
-succeeds in the race for superiority of any sort is without vanity, is
-downright nonsense; to assert that any man can reach success without it,
-would be to state more than any one has yet been able to prove. Let us
-accept the fact that we are all vain, whether we be saints or sinners,
-men of action or men of thought, men who leave our sign manual upon the
-page of our little day or men who trudge through the furrows of a
-nameless life ploughing and sowing that others may reap and eat and be
-merry. After all, does not our conception of heaven suggest to us a life
-from which all vanity is absent, and does not our idea of hell show us
-an existence in which vanity reigns supreme and hopeless, without
-prospect of satisfaction? Let us at least strive that our vanity may
-neither do injury to our fellow-men, nor recoil and become ridiculous in
-ourselves.
-
-Enough has been said to define and explain the character and life of the
-young man whose history this book is to relate. He himself was far from
-being conscious of all his virtues, faults, and capabilities. He neither
-knew his own energy nor was aware of the hidden enthusiasm which was
-only just beginning to make itself felt as a vague, uneasy longing for
-something that should surpass ordinary things. He did not know that he
-possessed singular talents as well as unusual defects. He had not even
-begun to look upon life as a problem offered him for solution, and upon
-his own heart as an object for his own study. He scarcely felt that he
-had a heart at all, nor knew where to look for it in others. His life
-was not happy, and yet he had not tasted the bitter sources of real
-unhappiness. He was oppressed by his surroundings, but he could not have
-told what he would have done with the most untrammelled liberty. He
-despised money, he worked for a pittance, and yet he secretly longed for
-all that money could buy. He was profoundly attached to his father, and
-yet he found the good man’s company intolerable. He shrank from a
-society in which he might have been a welcome guest, and yet he dreamed
-of playing a great part in it some day. He believed himself cynical when
-he was in reality quixotic, his idols of gold were hidden behind images
-of clay, and he really cared little for those things which he had
-schooled himself to admire the most. He fancied himself a critic when he
-was foredestined by his nature and his circumstances to become an object
-of criticism to others. He forced his mind to do what it found least
-congenial, not acting in obedience to any principle or idea of duty, but
-because he was sure that he knew his own abilities, and that no other
-path lay open to success. He was in the darkest part of the transition
-which precedes development, for he was in that period during which a man
-makes himself imagine that he has laid hold on the thread of the future,
-while something he will not heed warns him that the chaos is wilder than
-ever before. In the dark hour before manhood’s morning he was journeying
-resolutely away from the coming dawn.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER II.
-
-
-“It is very sad,” observed Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, thoughtfully. “Their
-mother died in London last autumn, and now they are quite alone—nobody
-with them but an aunt, or something like that—poor girls! I am so glad
-they are rich, at least. You ought to know them.”
-
-“Ought I?” asked the visitor who was drinking his tea on the other side
-of the fireplace. “You know I do not go into society.”
-
-“The girls go nowhere, either. They are still in mourning. You ought to
-know them. Who knows, you might marry one or the other.”
-
-“I will never marry a fortune.”
-
-“Do not be silly, George!”
-
-The relationship between the two speakers was not very close. George
-Winton Wood’s mother had been a second cousin of Mrs. Sherrington
-Trimm’s, and the two ladies had not been on very friendly terms with
-each other. Moreover, Mrs. Trimm had nothing to do with old Jonah Wood,
-the father of the young man with whom she was now speaking, and Jonah
-Wood refused to have anything to do with her. Nevertheless she called
-his son by his first name, and the latter usually addressed her as
-“Cousin Totty.” An examination of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s baptismal
-certificate would have revealed the fact that she had been christened
-Charlotte, but parental fondness had made itself felt with its usual
-severity in such cases, and before she was a year old she had been
-labelled with the comic diminutive which had stuck to her ever since,
-through five and twenty years of maidenhood, and twenty years more of
-married life. On her visiting cards, and in her formal invitations she
-appeared as Mrs. Sherrington Trimm; but the numerous members of New York
-society who were related to her by blood or marriage, called her “Totty”
-to her face, while those who claimed no connection called her “Totty”
-behind her back; and though she may live beyond three score years and
-ten, and though her strength come to sorrow and weakness, she will be
-“Totty” still, to the verge of the grave, and beyond, even after she is
-comfortably laid away in the family vault at Greenwood.
-
-After all, the name was not inappropriate, so far at least, as Mrs.
-Trimm’s personal appearance was concerned; for she was very smooth, and
-round, and judiciously plump, short, fair, and neatly made, with pretty
-little hands and feet; active and not ungraceful, sleek but not sleepy;
-having small, sharp blue eyes, a very obliging and permanent smile, a
-diminutive pointed nose, salmon-coloured lips, and perfect teeth. Her
-good points did not, indeed, conceal her age altogether, but they
-obviated all necessity for an apology to the world for the crime of
-growing old; and those features which were less satisfactory to herself
-were far from being offensive to others.
-
-She bore in her whole being and presence the stamp of a comfortable
-life. There is nothing more disturbing to society than the forced
-companionship of a person who either is, or looks, uncomfortable, in
-body, mind, or fortune, and many people owe their popularity almost
-solely to a happy faculty of seeming always at their ease. It is certain
-that neither birth, wealth, nor talent will of themselves make man or
-woman popular, not even when all three are united in the possession of
-one individual. But on the other hand they are not drawbacks to social
-success, provided they are merely means to the attainment of that
-unobtrusively careless good humour which the world loves. Mrs.
-Sherrington Trimm knew this. If not talented, she possessed at all
-events a pedigree and a fortune; and as for talent, she looked upon
-culture as an hereditary disease peculiar to Bostonians, and though not
-contagious, yet full of danger, inasmuch as its presence in a
-well-organised society must necessarily be productive of discomfort. All
-the charm of general conversation must be gone, she thought, when a
-person appeared who was both able and anxious to set everybody right.
-She even went so far as to say that if everybody were poor, it would be
-very disagreeable to be rich. She never wished to do what others could
-not do; she only aimed at being among the first to do what everybody
-would do by and by, as a matter of course.
-
-Mrs. Trimm’s cousin George did not understand this point of view as yet,
-though he was beginning to suspect that “Totty and her friends”—as he
-generally designated society—must act upon some such principle. He was
-only five and twenty years of age, and could hardly be expected to be in
-the secrets of a life he had hitherto seen as an outsider; but he
-differed from Totty and her friends in being exceedingly clever,
-exceedingly unhappy, and exceedingly full of aspirations, ambitions,
-fancies, ideas, and thoughts; in being poor instead of rich, and,
-lastly, in being the son of a man who had failed in the pursuit of
-wealth, and who could not prove even the most distant relationship to
-any one of the gentlemen who had signed the Declaration of Independence,
-fought in the Revolution, or helped to frame the Constitution of the
-United States. George, indeed, possessed these ancestral advantages
-through his mother, and in a more serviceable form through his
-relationship to Totty; but she, on her part, felt that the burden of his
-cleverness might be too heavy for her to bear, should she attempt to
-launch him upon her world. Her sight was keen enough, and she saw at a
-glance the fatal difference between George and other people. He had a
-habit of asking serious questions, and of saying serious things, which
-would be intolerable at a dinner-party. He was already too strong to be
-put down, he was not yet important enough to be shown off. Totty’s
-husband, who was an eminent lawyer, occasionally asked George to dine
-with him at his club, and usually said when he came home that he could
-not understand the boy; but, being of an inquiring disposition, Mr.
-Trimm was impelled to repeat the hospitality at intervals that gradually
-became more regular. At first he had feared that the dark, earnest face
-of the young man, and his grave demeanour, concealed the soul of a
-promising prig, a social article which Sherrington Trimm despised and
-loathed. He soon discovered, however, that these apprehensions were
-groundless. From time to time his companion gave utterance to some
-startling opinion or freezing bit of cynicism which he had evidently
-been revolving in his thoughts for a long time, and which forced Mr.
-Trimm’s gymnastic intelligence into thinking more seriously than usual.
-Doubtless George’s remarks were often paradoxical and youthfully wild,
-but his hearer liked them none the less for that. Keen and successful in
-his own profession he scented afar the capacity for success in other
-callings. Accustomed by the habits and pursuits of his own exciting life
-to judge men and things quickly, he recognised in George another mode of
-the force to which he himself owed his reputation. To lay down the law
-and determine the precise manner in which that force should be used, was
-another matter, and one in which Sherrington Trimm did not propose to
-meddle. More than once, indeed, he asked George what he meant to do in
-the world, and George answered, with a rather inappropriate look of
-determination that he believed himself good for nothing, and that when
-there was no more bread and butter at home he should doubtless find his
-own level by going up long ladders with a hod of bricks on his shoulder.
-Mr. Trimm’s jovial face usually expressed his disbelief in such theories
-by a bland smile as he poured out another glass of wine for his young
-guest. He felt sure that George would do something, and George, who got
-little sympathy in his life, understood his encouraging certainty, and
-was grateful.
-
-Mrs. Trimm, however, shared her cousin’s asserted convictions about
-himself so far as to believe that unless something was done for him, he
-might actually be driven to manual labour for support. She assuredly had
-no faith in general cleverness as a means of subsistence for young men
-without fortune, and yet she felt that she ought to do something for
-George Wood. There was a good reason for this beneficent instinct. Her
-only brother was chiefly responsible for the ruin that had overtaken
-Jonah Wood, when George was still a boy, and she herself had been one of
-the winners in the game, or at least had been a sharer with her brother
-in the winnings. It is true that the facts of the case had never been
-generally known, and that George’s father had been made to suffer
-unjustly in his reputation after being plundered of his wealth; but Mrs.
-Trimm was not without a conscience, any more than the majority of her
-friends. If she loved money and wanted more of it, this was because she
-wished to be like other people, and not because she was vulgarly
-avaricious. She was willing to keep what she had, though a part of it
-should have been George’s and was ill-gotten. She wished her brother,
-Thomas Craik, to keep all he possessed until he should die, and then she
-wished him to leave it to her, Charlotte Sherrington Trimm. But she also
-desired that George should have compensation for what his father had
-lost, and the easiest and least expensive way of providing him with the
-money he had not, was to help him to a rich marriage. It was not,
-indeed, fitting that he should marry her only daughter, Mamie, though
-the girl was nineteen years old and showed a disquieting tendency to
-like George. Such a marriage would result only in a transfer of wealth
-without addition or multiplication, which was not the form of
-magnanimity most agreeable to cousin Totty’s principles. There were
-other rich girls in the market; one of them might be interested in the
-tall young man with the dark face and the quiet manner, and might bestow
-herself upon him, and endow him with all her worldly goods. Totty had
-now been lucky enough to find two such young ladies together, orphans
-both, and both of age, having full control of the large and equally
-divided patrimony they had lately inherited. Better still, they were
-reported to be highly gifted and fond of clever people, and she herself
-knew that they were both pretty. She had resolved that George should
-know them without delay, and had sent for him as a preliminary step
-towards bringing about the acquaintance. George met her at once with the
-plain statement that he would never marry money, as the phrase goes, but
-she treated his declaration of independence with appropriate levity.
-
-“Do not be silly, George!” she exclaimed with a little laugh.
-
-“I am not,” George answered, in a tone of conviction.
-
-“Oh, I know you are clever enough,” retorted his cousin. “But that is
-quite a different thing. Besides, I was not thinking seriously of your
-marrying.”
-
-“I guessed as much, from the fact of your mentioning it,” observed the
-young man quietly.
-
-Mrs. Trimm stared at him for a moment, and then laughed again.
-
-“Am I never thinking seriously of what I am saying?”
-
-“Tell me about these girls,” said George, avoiding an answer. “If they
-are rich and unmarried, they must be old and hideous——”
-
-“They are neither.”
-
-“Mere children then——”
-
-“Yes—they are younger than you.”
-
-“Poor little things! I see—you want me to play with them, and teach them
-games and things of that sort. What is the salary? I am open to an
-engagement in any respectable calling. Or perhaps you would prefer Mrs.
-Macwhirter, my old nurse. It is true that she is blind of one eye and
-limps a little, but she would make a reduction in consideration of her
-infirmities, if money is an object.”
-
-“Try and be serious; I want you to know them.”
-
-“Do I look like a man who wastes time in laughing?” inquired George,
-whose imperturbable gravity was one of his chief characteristics.
-
-“No—you have other resources at your command for getting at the same
-result.”
-
-“Thanks. You are always flattering. When am I to begin amusing your
-little friends?”
-
-“To-day, if you like. We can go to them at once.”
-
-George Wood glanced down almost unconsciously at the clothes he wore,
-with the habit of a man who is very poor and is not always sure of being
-presentable at a moment’s notice. His preoccupation did not escape
-cousin Totty, whose keen instinct penetrated his thoughts and found
-there an additional incentive to the execution of her beneficent
-intentions. It was a shame, she thought, that any relation of hers
-should need to think of such miserable details as the possession of a
-decent coat and whole shoes. At the present moment, indeed, George was
-arrayed with all appropriate correctness, but Totty remembered to have
-caught sight of him sometimes when he was evidently not expecting to
-meet any acquaintance, and she had noticed on those occasions that his
-dress was very shabby indeed. It was many years since she had seen his
-father, and she wondered whether he, too, went about in old clothes,
-sure of not meeting anybody he knew. The thought was not altogether
-pleasant, and she put it from her. It was a part of her method of life
-not to think disagreeable thoughts, and though her plan to bring about a
-rich marriage for her cousin was but a scheme for quieting her
-conscience, she determined to believe that she was putting herself to
-great inconvenience out of spontaneous generosity, for which George
-would owe her a debt of lifelong gratitude.
-
-George, having satisfied himself that his appearance would pass muster,
-and realising that Totty must have noticed his self-inspection,
-immediately asked her opinion.
-
-“Will I do?” he asked with an odd shade of shyness, and glancing again
-at the sleeve of his coat, as though to explain what he meant, well
-knowing that all explanation was unnecessary.
-
-Totty, who had thoroughly inspected him before proposing that they
-should go out together, now pretended to look him over with a critical
-eye.
-
-“Of course—perfectly,” she said, after three or four seconds. “Wait for
-me a moment, and I will get ready,” she added, as she rose and left the
-room.
-
-When George was alone, he leaned back in his comfortable chair and
-looked at the familiar objects about him with a weary expression which
-he had not worn while his cousin had been present. He could not tell
-exactly why he came to see cousin Totty, and he generally went home
-after his visits to her with a vague sense of disappointment. In the
-first place, he always felt that there was a sort of disloyalty in
-coming at all. He knew the details of his father’s past life, and was
-aware that old Tom Craik had been the cause of his ruin, and he guessed
-that Totty had profited by the same catastrophe, since he had always
-heard that her brother managed her property. He even fancied that Totty
-was not so harmless as she looked, and that she was very fond of money,
-though he was astonished at his own boldness in suspecting the facts to
-be so much at variance with the outward appearance. He was very young,
-and he feared to trust his own judgment, though he had an intimate
-conviction that his instincts were right. On the whole he was forced to
-admit to himself that there were many reasons against his periodical
-visits to the Trimms, and he was quite ready to allow that it was not
-Totty’s personality or conversation that attracted him to the house.
-Yet, as he rested in the cushioned chair he had selected and felt the
-thick carpet under his feet, and breathed that indefinable atmosphere
-which impregnates every corner of a really luxurious house, he knew that
-it would be very hard to give up the habit of enjoying all these things
-at regular intervals. He imagined that his thoughts liquefied and became
-more mobile under the genial influence, forgetting the grooves and
-moulds so unpleasantly familiar to them. Hosts of ideas and fancies
-presented themselves to him, which he recognised as belonging to a self
-that only came to life from time to time; a self full of delicate
-sensations and endowed with brilliant powers of expression; a self of
-which he did not know whether to be ashamed or proud; a self as
-overflowing with ready appreciation, as his other common, daily self was
-inclined to depreciate all that the world admired, and to find fault
-with everything that was presented to its view. Though conscious of all
-this, however, George did not care to analyse his own motives too
-closely. It was disagreeable to his pride to find that he attached so
-much importance to what he described collectively as furniture and tea.
-He was disappointed with himself, and he did all in his power not to
-increase his disappointment. Then an extreme depression came upon him,
-and showed itself in his face. He felt impelled to escape from the
-house, to renounce the visit Totty had proposed, to go home, get into
-his oldest clothes and work desperately at something, no matter what.
-But for his cousin’s opportune return, he might have yielded to the
-impulse. She re-entered the room briskly, dressed for walking and
-smiling as usual. George’s expression changed as he heard the latch move
-in the door, and Mrs. Sherrington Trimm must have been even keener than
-she was, to guess what had been passing in his mind. She was not,
-however, in the observant mood, but in the subjective, for she felt that
-she was now about to appear as her cousin’s benefactress, and, having
-got rid of her qualms of conscience, she experienced a certain elation
-at her own skill in the management of her soul.
-
-George took his hat and rose with alacrity. There was nothing
-essentially distasteful to him in the prospect of being presented to a
-pair of pretty sisters, who had doubtless been warned of his coming, and
-his foolish longing for his old clothes and his work disappeared as
-suddenly as it had come.
-
-It was still winter, and the low afternoon sun fell across the avenue
-from the westward streets in broad golden patches. It was still winter,
-but the promise of spring was already in the air, and a faint mist hung
-about the vanishing point of the seemingly endless rows of buildings.
-The trees were yet far from budding, but the leafless branches no longer
-looked dead, and the small twigs were growing smooth and glossy with the
-returning circulation of the sap. There were many people on foot in the
-avenue, and Totty constantly nodded and smiled to her passing
-acquaintances, who generally looked with some interest at George as they
-acknowledged or forestalled his companion’s salutation. He knew a few of
-them by sight, but not one passed with whom he had ever spoken, and he
-felt somewhat foolishly ashamed of not knowing every one. When he was
-alone the thought did not occur to him, but his cousin’s incessant
-smiles and nods made him realise vividly the difference between her
-social position and his own. He wondered whether the gulf would ever be
-bridged over, and whether at any future time those very correct people
-who now looked at him with inquiring eyes would be as anxious to know
-him and be recognised by him as they now seemed desirous of knowing
-Totty and being saluted by her.
-
-“Do you mean to say that you really remember the names of all these
-friends of yours?” he asked, presently.
-
-“Why not? I have known most of them since I was a baby, and they have
-known me. You could learn their names fast enough if you would take the
-trouble.”
-
-“Why should I? They do not want me. I should never be a part of their
-lives.”
-
-“Why not? You could if you liked, and I am always telling you so.
-Society never wants anybody who does not want it. It is founded on the
-principle of giving and receiving in return. If you show that you like
-people, they will show that they like you.”
-
-“That would depend upon my motives.”
-
-Mrs. Sherrington Trimm laughed, lowered her parasol, and turned her head
-so that she could see George’s face.
-
-“Motives!” she exclaimed. “Nobody cares about your motives, provided you
-have good manners. It is only in business that people talk about
-motives.”
-
-“Then any adventurer who chose might take his place in society,”
-objected George.
-
-“Of course he might—and does. It occurs constantly, and nothing
-unpleasant happens to him, unless he makes love in the wrong direction
-or borrows money without returning it. Unfortunately those are just the
-two things most generally done by adventurers, and then they come to
-grief. A man is taken at his own valuation in society, until he commits
-a social crime and is found out.”
-
-“You think there would be nothing to prevent my going into society, if I
-chose to try it?”
-
-“Nothing in the world, if you will follow one or two simple rules.”
-
-“And what may they be?” inquired George, becoming interested.
-
-“Let me see—in the first place—dear me! how hard it is to explain such
-things! I should say that one ought never to ask a question about
-anybody, unless one knows the answer, and knows that the person to whom
-one is speaking will be glad to talk about the matter. One may avoid a
-deal of awkwardness by not asking a man about his wife, for instance, if
-she has just applied for a divorce. But if his sister is positively
-engaged to marry an English duke, you should always ask about her. That
-kind of conversation makes things pleasant.”
-
-“I like that view,” said George. “Give me some more advice.”
-
-“Never say anything disagreeable about any one you know.”
-
-“That is charitable, at all events.”
-
-“Of course it is; and, now I think of it, charity is really the
-foundation of good society,” continued Mrs. Trimm very sweetly.
-
-“You mean a charitable silence, I suppose.”
-
-“Not always silence. Saying kind words about people you hate is
-charitable, too.”
-
-“I should call it lying,” George observed.
-
-Totty was shocked at such bluntness.
-
-“That is far too strong language,” she answered, beginning to look as
-she did in church.
-
-“Gratuitous mendacity,” suggested her companion. “Is the word ‘lie’ in
-the swearing dictionary?”
-
-“Perhaps not—but after all, George,” continued Mrs. Trimm with sudden
-fervour, “there are often very nice things to be said quite truly about
-people we do not like, and it is certainly charitable and magnanimous to
-say them in spite of our personal feelings. One may just as well leave
-out the disagreeable things.”
-
-“Satan is a fallen angel. You hate him of course. If he chanced to be in
-society you would leave out the detail of the fall and say that Satan is
-an angel. Is that it?”
-
-“Approximately,” laughed Totty, who was less shocked at the mention of
-the devil than at hearing tact called lying. “I think you would succeed
-in society. By-the-bye, there is another thing. You must never talk
-about culture and books and such things, unless some celebrity begins
-it. That is most important, you know. Of course you would not like to
-feel that you were talking of things which other people could not
-understand, would you?”
-
-“What should I talk about, then?”
-
-“Oh—people, of course, and—and horses and things—yachting and fashions
-and what people generally do.”
-
-“But I know so few people,” objected George, “and as for horses, I have
-not ridden since I was a boy, and I never was on board of a yacht, and I
-do not care a straw for the fashions.”
-
-“Well, really, then I hardly know. Perhaps you had better not talk much
-until you have learned about things.”
-
-“Perhaps not. Perhaps I had better not try society after all.”
-
-“Oh, that is ridiculous!” exclaimed Mrs. Trimm, who did not want to
-discourage her pupil. “Now, George, be a good boy, and do not get such
-absurd notions into your head. You are going to begin this very day.”
-
-“Am I?” inquired the young man in a tone that promised very little.
-
-“Of course you are. And it will be easy, too, for the Fearing girls are
-clever——”
-
-“Does that mean that I may talk about something besides horses,
-fashions, and yachting?”
-
-“How dreadfully literal you are, George! I did not mean precisely those
-things, only I could think of nothing else just at that moment. I know,
-yes—you are going to ask if I ever think of anything else. Well, I do
-sometimes—there, now do be good and behave like a sensible being. Here
-we are.”
-
-They had reached a large, old-fashioned house in Washington Square,
-which George had often noticed without knowing who lived in it, and
-which had always attracted him. He liked the quiet neighbourhood, so
-near the busiest part of the city and yet so completely separated from
-it, and he often went there alone to sit upon one of the benches under
-the trees and think of all that might have been even then happening to
-him if things had not been precisely what they were. He stood upon the
-door-step and rang the bell, wondering at the unexpected turn his day
-had taken, and wondering what manner of young women these orphan sisters
-might be, with whom cousin Totty was so anxious to make him acquainted.
-His curiosity on this head was soon satisfied. In a few seconds he found
-himself in a sombrely-furnished drawing-room, bowing before two young
-girls, while Mrs. Trimm introduced him.
-
-“Mr. Winton Wood—my cousin George, you know. You got my note? Yes—so
-sweet of you to be at home. This is Miss Constance Fearing, and this is
-Miss Grace, George. Thanks, no—we have just been having tea. Yes—we
-walked. The weather is perfectly lovely, and now tell me all about
-yourself, Conny dear!”
-
-Thereupon Mrs. Sherrington Trimm took Miss Constance Fearing beside her,
-held her hand affectionately, and engaged in an animated conversation of
-smiles and questions, leaving George to amuse the younger sister as best
-he could.
-
-At first sight there appeared to be a strong resemblance between the two
-girls, which was much increased by their both being dressed in black and
-in precisely the same manner. They were very nearly of the same age,
-Constance being barely twenty-two years old and her sister just twenty,
-though Mrs. Trimm had said that both had reached their majority. Both
-were tall, graceful girls, well-proportioned in every way, easy in their
-bearing, their heads well set upon their shoulders, altogether well
-grown and well bred. But there was in reality a marked difference
-between them. Constance was fairer and more delicate than her younger
-sister, evidently less self-reliant and probably less strong. Her eyes
-were blue and quiet, and her hair had golden tinges not to be found in
-Grace’s dark-brown locks. Her complexion was more transparent, her even
-eyebrows less strongly marked, her sensitive lips less firm. Of the two
-she was evidently the more gentle and feminine. Grace’s voice was deep
-and smooth, whereas Constance spoke in a higher though a softer key. It
-was easy to see that Constance would be the one more quickly moved by
-womanly sympathies and passions, and that Grace, on the contrary, would
-be at once more obstinate and more sure of herself.
-
-George was pleasantly impressed by both from the first, and especially
-by the odd contrast between them and their surroundings. The house was
-old-fashioned within as well as without. It was clear that the girls’
-father and mother had been conservatives of the most severe type. The
-furniture was dark, massive, and imposing; the velvet carpet displayed
-in deeper shades of claret, upon a claret-coloured ground, that old
-familiar pattern formed by four curved scrolls which enclose as in a
-lozenge an imposing nosegay of almost black roses. Full-length portraits
-of the family adorned the walls, and the fireplace was innocent of high
-art tiles, being composed of three slabs of carved white marble, two
-upright and one horizontal, in the midst of which a black grate
-supported a coal fire. Moreover, as in all old houses in New York, the
-front drawing-room communicated with a second at the back of the first
-by great polished mahogany folding-doors, which, being closed, produce
-the impression that one-half of the room is a huge press. There were
-stiff sofas set against the wall, stiff corner bookcases filled with
-histories expensively bound in dark tree calf, a stiff mahogany table
-under an even stiffer chandelier of gilded metal; there were two or
-three heavy easy-chairs, square, dark and polished like everything else,
-and covered with red velvet of the same colour as the carpet, each
-having before it a footstool of the old style, curved and made of the
-same materials as the chairs themselves. A few modern books in their
-fresh, perishable bindings showed the beginning of a new influence,
-together with half a dozen magazines and papers, and a work-basket
-containing a quantity of coloured embroidering silks.
-
-George looked about him as he took his place beside Grace Fearing, and
-noticed the greater part of the details just described.
-
-“Are you fond of horses, yachting, fashions, and things people generally
-do, Miss Fearing?” he inquired.
-
-“Not in the least,” answered Grace, fixing her dark eyes upon him with a
-look of cold surprise.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER III.
-
-
-The stare of astonishment with which Grace Fearing met George’s singular
-method of beginning a conversation rather disconcerted him, although he
-had half expected it. He had asked the question while still under the
-impression of Totty’s absurd advice, unable any longer to refrain from
-communicating his feelings to some one.
-
-“You seem surprised,” he said. “I will explain. I do not care a straw
-for any of those things myself, but as we walked here my cousin was
-giving me a lecture about conversation in society.”
-
-“And she advised you to talk to us about horses?” inquired Miss Grace,
-beginning to smile.
-
-“No. Not to you. She gave me to understand that you were both very
-clever, but she gave me a list of things about which a man should talk
-in general society, and I flatter myself that I have remembered the
-catalogue pretty accurately.”
-
-“Indeed you have!” This time Grace laughed.
-
-“Yes. And now that we have eliminated horses, yachts, and fashions, by
-mutual consent, shall we talk about less important things?”
-
-“Certainly. Where shall we begin?”
-
-“With whatever you prefer. What do you like best in the world?”
-
-“My sister,” answered Grace promptly.
-
-“That answers the question, ‘Whom do you like best—?’”
-
-“Very well, Mr. Wood, and whom do you like best?”
-
-“Myself, of course. Everybody does, except people who have sisters like
-yours.”
-
-“Are you an egotist, then?”
-
-“Not by intention, but by original sin, and by the fault of fate which
-has omitted to give me a sister.”
-
-“Have you no near relations?” Grace asked.
-
-“I have my father.”
-
-“And you are not more fond of him than of yourself?”
-
-“Is one not bound to believe one’s father, when he speaks on mature
-reflection, and is a very good man besides?”
-
-“Yes—I suppose so.”
-
-“Very well. My father says that I love myself better than any one else.
-That is good evidence, for, as you say, he must be right. How do you
-know that you love your sister more than yourself?”
-
-“I think I would sacrifice more for her than I would for myself.”
-
-“Then you must be subject to a natural indolence which only affection
-for another can overcome.”
-
-“I am not lazy,” objected Grace.
-
-“Pardon me. What is a sacrifice, in the common meaning of the word?
-Giving up something one likes. To make a sacrifice for oneself means to
-give up something one likes for the sake of one’s own advantage—for
-instance, to give up sleeping too much, in order to work more. Not to do
-so, is to be lazy. Laziness is a vice. Therefore it is a vice not to
-sacrifice as much as possible to one’s own advantage. Virtue is the
-opposite of vice. Therefore selfishness is a virtue.”
-
-“What dreadful sophistry!”
-
-“You cannot escape the conclusion that one ought to love oneself at
-least quite as much as any one else, since to be unwilling to take as
-much trouble for one’s own advantage as one takes for that of other
-people is manifestly an acute form of indolence, and is therefore
-vicious and a cardinal sin.”
-
-“Selfishness is certainly a deadly virtue,” retorted Grace.
-
-“Can that be called deadly which provides a man with a living?” asked
-George.
-
-“That is all sophistry—sophistical chaff, and nothing else.”
-
-“The original sophists made a very good living,” objected George. “Is it
-not better to get a living as a sophist than to starve?”
-
-“Do you make a living by it, Mr. Wood?”
-
-“No. I am not a lawyer, and times have changed since Gorgias.”
-
-“I may as well tell you,” said Grace, “that Mrs. Trimm has calumniated
-me. I am not clever, and I do not know who Gorgias was.”
-
-“I beg your pardon for mentioning him. I only wanted to show off my
-culture. He is of no importance——”
-
-“Yes he is. Since you have spoken of him, tell me who he was.”
-
-“A sophist, and one of the first of them. He published a book to prove
-that Helen of Troy was an angel of virtue, he fattened on the proceeds
-of his talking and writing, till he was a hundred years old, and then he
-died. The thing will not do now. Several people have lately defended
-Lucretia Borgia, without fattening to any great extent. That is the
-reason I would like to be a lawyer. Lawyers defend living clients and
-are well paid for it. Look at Sherry Trimm, my cousin’s husband. Do you
-know him?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“He is fat and well-liking. And Johnny Bond—do you know him too?”
-
-“Of course,” answered Grace, with an almost imperceptible frown. “He is
-to be Mr. Trimm’s partner soon.”
-
-“Well, when he is forty, he will be as sleek and round as Sherry Trimm
-himself.”
-
-“Will he?” asked the young girl with some coldness.
-
-“Probably, since he will be rich and happy. Moral and physical rotundity
-is the natural attribute of all rich and happy persons. It would be a
-pity if Johnny grew very fat, he is such a handsome fellow.”
-
-“I suppose it could not be helped,” said Grace, indifferently. “What do
-you mean by moral rotundity, Mr. Wood?”
-
-“Inward and spiritual grace to be always right.”
-
-At this point Totty, who had said all she had to say to Constance, and
-was now only anxious to say it all over again to Grace, made a movement
-and nodded to her cousin.
-
-“Come, George,” she said, “take my place, and I will take yours.”
-
-George rose with considerable reluctance and crossed the room. There was
-something in Grace Fearing’s manner which gave him courage in
-conversation, and he had felt at his ease with her. Now, however, the
-ice must be broken afresh with the other sister. Unlike Mrs. Trimm, he
-did not want to repeat himself, and he was somewhat embarrassed as to
-how he should begin in a new strain. To his surprise, however, his new
-companion relieved him of any responsibility in this direction. While
-listening as much as was necessary to Totty’s rambling talk, she had
-been watching the young man’s face from a distance. Her sympathetic
-nature made her more observant than her sister, and she spent much time
-in speculating upon other people’s thoughts. George interested her from
-the first. There was something about him, of which he himself was wholly
-unconscious, which distinguished him from ordinary men, and which it was
-hard to define. Few people would have called him handsome, though no one
-could have said that he was ugly. His head was strongly modelled, with
-prominent brows, and great hollows in the temples. The nose was
-straight, but rather too long, as is generally the case with melancholy
-people; and the thin, dark moustache did not conceal the scornful
-expression of the mouth. The chin would have been the better for a
-little more weight and prominence, and the whole face might have been
-more attractive had it been less dark and thin. As for the rest, the man
-was tall and well built, though somewhat too lean and angular, and he
-carried himself well, whether in motion or repose. He was evidently
-melancholic, nervous, and impressionable, as might be seen from his
-brown and sinewy hands, of which the smooth and pointed fingers
-contrasted oddly with the strength of the lower part. But the most
-minute description of George Wood’s physical characteristics would
-convey no such impression as he produced upon those who first saw him.
-He was discontented with himself as well as with his surroundings, and
-his temper was clouded by perpetual disappointment. Sometimes dull and
-apathetic, there were moments when a vicious energy gleamed in his dark
-eyes, and when he looked like what fighting men call an ugly customer.
-Mirth was never natural to him, and when he laughed aloud there was
-scarcely the semblance of a smile upon his features. Yet he had a keen
-sense of humour, and a facility for exhibiting the ridiculous side of
-things to others.
-
-“What do you do, Mr. Wood?” asked Constance Fearing, when he was seated
-beside her.
-
-“Nothing—and not even that gracefully.”
-
-Constance did not laugh as she looked at him, for there was something at
-once earnest and bitter in the way he spoke.
-
-“Why do you do nothing?” she asked. “Everybody works nowadays. You do
-not look like a professed idler. I suppose you mean that you are
-studying for a profession.”
-
-“Not exactly. I believe my studies are said to be finished. I sometimes
-write a little.”
-
-“Is that all? Do you never publish anything?”
-
-“Oh yes; countless things.”
-
-“Really? I am afraid I cannot remember seeing——”
-
-“My name in print? No. There is but one copy of my published works, and
-that is in my possession. The pages present an irregular appearance and
-smell of paste. You do not understand? My valuable performances are
-occasionally printed in one of the daily papers. I cut them out, when I
-am not too lazy, and keep them in a scrap-book.”
-
-“Then you are a journalist?”
-
-“Not from the journalist’s point of view. He calls me a paid
-contributor; and when I am worse paid than usual, I call him by worse
-names.”
-
-“I do not understand—if you can be what you call a paid contributor, why
-not be a journalist? What is the difference?”
-
-“The one is a professional, the other is an amateur. I am the other.”
-
-“Why not be a professional, then?”
-
-“Because I do not like the profession.”
-
-“What would you like to be? Surely you must have some ambition.”
-
-“None whatever, I assure you.” There was an odd look in George’s eyes,
-not altogether in accordance with his answer. “I should prefer to live a
-student’s life, since I must live a life of some kind. I should like to
-be always my own master—if you would give me my choice, there are plenty
-of things I should like. But I cannot have them.”
-
-“Most of us are in that condition,” said Constance, rather thoughtfully.
-
-“Are we? Is there anything in the world that you want and cannot have?”
-
-“Yes. Many things.”
-
-“No, I mean concrete things,” George insisted. “Of course I know that
-you have the correct number of moral and intellectual aspirations. You
-would like to be a heroine, a saint, and the managing partner of a great
-charity; you would like to be a scholar, historian, a novelist, and you
-would certainly like to be a great poetess. You would probably like to
-lead the fashion in some particular way, for I must allow you a little
-vanity with so much virtue, but on Sundays, in church, you would like to
-forget that there are such things as fashions. Of course you would. But
-all that is not what I mean. When I speak of wants, I mean wants
-connected with real life. Have you not everything you desire, or could
-you not have everything? If you do not like New York, can you not go and
-live in Siberia? If you do not like your house, can you not turn it
-inside out and upside down and trim it with green parakeet’s wings, if
-you please? If you have wants, they are moral and intellectual.”
-
-“But all the things you speak of merely depend upon money,” said
-Constance a little shyly. “They are merely material wants—or rather,
-according to your description, caprices.”
-
-“I do not call my desire to lead the unmolested life of a student either
-a caprice or a material want, but the accomplishment of my wish depends
-largely upon money and very little upon anything else.”
-
-Constance looked furtively at her companion, who sat beside her with
-folded hands, apparently contemplating his shoes. He had spoken very
-quietly, but his tone was that of the most profound contempt, whether
-for himself, or for the wealth he was weak enough to desire, it was
-impossible to say. Constance felt that she was in the presence of a
-nature she did not understand, though she was to some extent interested
-and attracted by it. It is very hard for people who possess everything
-that money can give, and have always possessed it, to comprehend the
-effect of poverty upon a sensitive person. Constance, indeed, had no
-exact idea of George Wood’s financial position. He might be really poor,
-for all she knew, or he might be only relatively impecunious. She
-inclined to the latter theory, partly because he had not the
-indescribable look which is supposed to belong to a poor man, and partly
-on account of his readiness to speak of what he wanted. A person of less
-keen intuitions would probably have been repelled by what might have
-been taken for vulgar discontent and covetousness. But Constance
-Fearing’s inceptions were more delicate. She felt instinctively that
-George was not what he represented himself to be, that he was neither
-weak, selfish, nor idle, and that those who believed him to be so would
-before long find themselves mistaken. She made no answer to his last
-words, however, and there was silence for a few moments.
-
-Then George began to speak of her return to New York, and fell into a
-very commonplace kind of conversation, which he sustained with an
-effort, and with a certain sensation of awkwardness. Presently Totty,
-who had finished the second edition of her small talk, rose from her
-seat and began the long operation of leave-taking, which was performed
-with all the usual repetitions, effusive phrases, and affectionalities,
-if such a word may be coined, which are considered appropriate and
-indispensable. As a canary bird pecks at a cherry, chirps, skips away,
-hops back, pecks, chirps, and skips again and again many times, so do
-certain women say good-bye to the dear friends they visit. Meanwhile
-George stood at hand, holding his hat and ready to go.
-
-“I hope we shall see you again,” said Constance as she gave him her
-hand.
-
-“May I come?” he asked.
-
-“Of course. We are generally at home about this time.”
-
-At last Totty tore herself away, and the ponderous front door closed
-behind her and her cousin as they came out into the purple light that
-flooded Washington Square.
-
-“Well, George, I hope you were properly impressed,” said Mrs.
-Sherrington Trimm, when they had walked a few steps and were near the
-corner of the avenue.
-
-“Profoundly.”
-
-“In what way? Come, be confidential.”
-
-“In what way? Why, I think that the father and mother of those girls
-must have been very rich, very dull, and very respectable. I never saw
-anything like the solidity of the furniture.”
-
-Totty was never quite sure whether George was in earnest or was laughing
-at her.
-
-“Did you spend your time in looking at the chairs?” she asked rather
-petulantly.
-
-“Partly. I could not help seeing them. I believe I talked a little.”
-
-“I hope you were sensible. What did you talk about? I do not think the
-Fearing girls would thoroughly appreciate the style of wit with which
-you generally favour me.”
-
-“You need not be cross, cousin Totty. I believe I was decently
-agreeable.”
-
-“Oh!” ejaculated Mrs. Trimm.
-
-“You think I flatter myself, do you? I daresay. The opinion of the young
-ladies would be more valuable than my own. At all events my conscience
-does not reproach me with having been more dull than usual, and as for
-the furniture, you will admit that it was very impressive.”
-
-“Well,” sighed Totty, “I suppose that is your way of looking at things.”
-She did not know exactly what she wanted him to say, but she was sure
-that he had not said it, and that his manner was most unsatisfactory.
-They walked on in silence.
-
-“I am tired,” she said, at last, as they reached the corner of the
-Brevoort House. “I will go home in a cab. Good-bye.”
-
-George opened the door of one of the numerous broughams stationed before
-the hotel, and helped his cousin to get in. She nodded rather
-indifferently to him, as she was driven away, and left him somewhat at a
-loss to account for her sudden ill temper. Under any ordinary
-circumstances she would assuredly have bid him enter the carriage with
-her and drive as far as her house, in order to save him a part of the
-long distance to his own home. The young man stood still for a moment
-and then turned into Clinton Place, walking rapidly in the direction of
-the elevated road.
-
-He had spoken quite truly when he had said that the visit he had just
-made had produced a profound impression on him, and it was in accordance
-with his character to keep that impression to himself. It was not that
-he felt himself attracted by either one of the sisters more than by the
-other. He had not fallen in love at first sight, nor lost his heart to a
-vision of beatitude that had only just received a name. But as he walked
-he saw constantly before him the two graceful young girls in their
-simple black dresses, full of the freshness and beauty of early youth
-and contrasting so strongly with their old-fashioned surroundings. That
-was all, but the picture stirred in him that restless, disquieting
-longing for something undefined, for a logical continuation of the two
-lives he had thus glanced upon, which belongs to persons of unusual
-imagination, and which, sooner or later, drives them to the writing of
-books as to the only possible satisfaction of an intimate and essential
-want.
-
-There are people who, when they hear any unusual story of real life,
-exclaim, “What a novel that would make!” They are not the people who
-write good fiction. Most of them have never tried it, for, if they had,
-they would know that novels are not made by expanding into a volume or
-volumes the account of circumstances which have actually occurred. True
-stories very rarely have a conclusion at all, and the necessity for a
-conclusion is the first thing felt by the born novelist. He dwells upon
-the memory of people he has seen, only for the sake of imagining a
-sequel and end to their lives. Before he has discovered that he must
-write books to satisfy himself, he does not understand the meaning of
-the moods to which he is subject. He is in a room full of people,
-perhaps, and listening to a conversation. Suddenly a word or a passing
-face arrests his attention. He loses the thread of the talk, and his
-thoughts fly off at a tangent with intense activity. As before the sight
-of a drowning man, the panorama of a life is unfolded to him in an
-instant, full of minute details, all distinct and clear. His lips move,
-repeating fragments of imaginary conversations. His eyes fix themselves,
-while he sees in his brain sights other than those around him. His heart
-beats fast, then slowly, in a strange variety of emotions. Then comes
-the awakening voice of the persecutor. “A penny for your thoughts, Mr.
-Tompkins,” or, “My dear Tompkins, if you do not care to listen to me,”
-etc. The young man is covered with confusion and apologises for his
-absence of mind, while still inwardly attempting to fix in his memory
-the fleeting visions of which he has just enjoyed such a delicious
-glimpse.
-
-Fortunately for George Wood, there was no one to disturb his meditations
-as he strode along the quiet street, ascended the iron steps and
-mechanically paid his fare before passing through the wicket gate. Nor
-did the vivid recollection of Constance and Grace Fearing abandon him as
-the snake-like train came puffing up and stopped before his eyes; still
-less, when he had taken his seat, and was being carried away up-town in
-the direction of his home.
-
-He lived with his father in the small house which the latter still
-owned, and in which, by dint of rigid economy the two succeeded in
-leading a decently comfortable existence, so far as their material lives
-were concerned. A more complete contrast to the residence in Washington
-Square, where George had just been spending half an hour, could hardly
-be imagined. The dwelling of the Woods was one of those conventional
-little buildings which abound in the great American cities, having a
-front of about sixteen feet, being three stories high, and having two
-rooms on each floor, one looking upon the street and one upon a small
-yard at the back. Within, everything was of the simplest description.
-There was no attempt at anything in the nature of luxury or
-embellishment. The well-swept carpets were threadbare, the
-carefully-dusted furniture was of the plainest kind, the smooth, tinted
-walls were innocent of decoration and unadorned with pictures. There
-were few books to be seen, except in George’s own room, which presented
-a contrast to the rest of the house, inasmuch as there reigned in it
-that sort of disorder which seemed the most real order in the opinion of
-its occupant. A huge deal table took up fully a quarter of the available
-space, and deal shelves full of books both old and new lined the walls,
-indeed almost everything was of deal, from the uncarpeted floor to the
-chairs. A pile of new volumes in bright bindings stood on a corner of
-the table, which was littered with printed papers, sheets of manuscript,
-galley proofs, and cuttings from newspapers. A well-worn penholder lay
-across a half-written page, and the red cork of a bottle of
-stylo-graphic ink projected out of the confusion.
-
-George entered this sanctum, and before doing anything else proceeded to
-divest himself of the clothes he wore, putting on rusty garments that
-seemed to belong to different epochs. Then he went to the window with
-something like a sigh of relief. The view was not inspiring, but the
-familiarity of it doubtless evoked in his mind trains of thought that
-were pleasant. There was the narrow brickyard with its Chinese puzzle of
-crossing and recrossing clothes’ lines. Then a brick wall beyond which
-he could see at a considerable distance the second and third rows of
-windows of a large house. Above, a row of French roofs and then the
-winter sky, red with the last rays of the sun. George did not remain
-long in contemplation of this prospect; a glance was apparently enough
-to restore the disturbed balance of his mind. As he turned away and
-busied himself with lighting a green glass kerosene lamp, the vision of
-Constance and Grace Fearing dissolved, and gave place to more practical
-considerations. He sat down and laid hold of the uppermost volume from
-the pile of new books, instinctively feeling for his paper-cutter with
-the other hand, among the disorderly litter beside him.
-
-After cutting a score of pages, he began to look for the editor’s
-letter. The volumes had been sent him for review, and were accompanied
-by the usual note, stating with appalling cynicism the number of words
-he was expected to write as criticism of each production.
-
-“About a hundred words a-piece,” wrote the literary editor, “and please
-return the books with the notices on Monday at twelve o’clock, at the
-latest.”
-
-It was Thursday to-day, and there were six volumes to be read, digested,
-and written about. George made a short calculation. He must do two each
-day, on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, in order to leave himself Monday
-morning as a margin in case of accidents. Six books, six hundred words,
-or rather more than half a column of the paper for which he wrote. That
-meant five dollars, for the work was well paid, as being supposed to
-require some judgment and taste on the part of the writer. There was of
-course nothing of much importance in the heap of gaily-bound printed
-matter, nothing to justify a serious article, and nothing which George
-would care to read twice. Nevertheless the exigencies of the book trade
-must be satisfied, and notices must appear, and editors must find
-persons willing and able to write such notices at prices varying from
-fifty cents to a dollar a-piece. Nor was there any difficulty about
-this. George knew that the pay was very good as times went, and that
-there were dozens of starving old maids and hungry boys who would do the
-work for less, and would perhaps do it as well as he could. Nor was he
-inclined to quarrel with the conditions which allowed him so short a
-time for the accomplishment of such a task. He had worked at second
-class reviewing for some time, and was long past the period of
-surprises. On the contrary, he looked upon the batch of publications
-with considerable satisfaction. The regularity with which such parcels
-had arrived during the last few months was a proof that he was doing
-well, and it seemed probable that in the course of the coming year he
-might be entrusted with more important work. Once or twice already, he
-had been instructed to write a column, and those were white days in his
-recollections. He felt that with a permanent engagement to produce a
-column a week he should be doing very well, but he knew how hard that
-was to obtain. No one who has not earned his bread by this kind of
-labour can have any idea of the crowd that hangs upon the outskirts of
-professional journalism, a crowd not seeking to enter the ranks of the
-regular newspaper men, but hoping to pick up the crumbs that fall from
-the table which appears to them so abundantly loaded. To be a
-professional journalist in America a man must in nine cases out of ten
-begin as a reporter. He must possess other qualifications besides those
-of the literary man. He must have a good knowledge of shorthand writing
-and a knack for the popular style. He must have an iron constitution and
-untiring nerves. He must be able to sit in a crowded room under the
-glaring gaslight and write out his impressions at an hour when ordinary
-people are in bed and asleep. He must possess that brazen assurance
-which sensitive men of taste rarely have, for he will be called upon to
-interview all sorts and conditions of men when they least expect it and
-generally when they least like it. He must have a keen instinct for
-business in order to outwit and outrun his competitors in the pursuit of
-news. Ever on the alert, he must not dwell upon the recollections of
-yesterday lest they twine themselves into the reports of to-day.
-Altogether, the commencing journalist must be a remarkable being, and
-most remarkable for a set of qualities which are not only useless to the
-writer of books, but which, if the latter possessed them, would notably
-hinder his success. There is no such thing as amateur journalism
-possible within the precincts of a great newspaper’s offices, whereas
-the outer doors are besieged by amateurs of every known and unknown
-description.
-
-In the critical and literary departments, the dilettante is the cruel
-enemy of those who are driven to write for bread, but who lack either
-the taste, the qualifications, or the opportunities which might give
-them a seat within, among the reporters’ desks! Cruellest of all in the
-eyes of the poor scribbler is the well-to-do man of leisure and culture
-who is personally acquainted with the chief editor, and writes
-occasional criticisms, often the most important, for nothing. Then there
-is the young woman who has been to college, who lacks nothing, but is
-ever ready to write for money, which she devotes to charitable purposes,
-thereby depriving some unfortunate youth of the dollar a day which means
-food to him, for whose support the public is not already taxed. But she
-knows nothing about him, and it amuses her to be connected with the
-press, and to have the importance of exchanging a word with the editor
-if she meets him in the society she frequents. The young man goes on the
-accustomed day for the new books. “I have nothing for you this week, Mr.
-Tompkins,” says the manager of the literary department as politely as
-possible. The books are gone to the Vassar girl or to the rich idler,
-and poor Tompkins must not hope to earn his daily dollar again till
-seven or eight days have passed. His only consolation is that the
-dawdling dilettante can never get all the work, because he or she cannot
-write fast enough to supply the demand. Without the spur of necessity it
-is impossible to read and review two volumes a day for any length of
-time. It is hard to combine justice to an author with the necessity for
-rushing through his book at a hundred pages an hour. It is indeed
-important to cut every leaf, lest the aforesaid literary manager should
-accuse poor little Mr. Tompkins of carelessness and superficiality in
-his judgment; but it is quite impossible that Tompkins should read every
-word of the children’s story-book, of the volume of second class
-sermons, of the collection of fifth rate poetry, and of the harrowing
-tale of city life, entitled _The Bucket of Blood_, or _The Washerwoman’s
-Revenge_, all of which have come at once and are simultaneously
-submitted to his authoritative criticism.
-
-George Wood cut through thirty pages of the volume he held in his hand,
-then went to the end and cut backwards, then returned to the place he
-had reached the first time, and cut through the middle of the book. It
-was his invariable system, and he found that it succeeded very well.
-
-“It is not well done,” he said to himself, quoting Johnson, “but one is
-surprised to see it done at all. What can you expect for fifty cents?”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-Many days passed before George thought of renewing his visit to
-Washington Square, and during that time he was not even tempted to go
-and see Mrs. Trimm. If the truth were to be told it might appear that
-the vision of the two young girls, which had kept George in company as
-he returned to his home, did not present itself again for a long time
-with any especial vividness. Possibly the surroundings and occupations
-in the midst of which he lived were not of a nature to stir his memories
-easily; possibly, too, and more probably, the first impression had
-lacked strength to fascinate his imagination for more than half an hour.
-The habit of reading a book, writing twenty lines of print about it and
-throwing it aside, never to be taken up again, may have its consequences
-in daily life. Though quite unconscious of taking such a superficial
-view of so serious a matter, George’s mind treated the Misses Fearing
-very much as it would have treated a book that had been sent in for
-notice, dealt with and seen no more. Now and then, when he was not at
-work, and was even less interested than usual in his father’s snatches
-of conversation, he was conscious of remembering his introduction to the
-two young ladies, and strange to say there was something humorous in the
-recollection. Totty’s business-like mode of procedure amused him, and
-what seemed to him her absurd assumption of a wild improbability. The
-ludicrous idea of the whole affair entertained his fancy for a few
-seconds before it slipped away again. He could not tell exactly where
-the source of his mirth was situated in the chain of ideas, but he
-almost smiled at the thought of the enormous, stiff easy-chairs, and of
-the bookcase in the corner, loaded to the highest shelf with histories
-bound in tree calf and gold. He remembered, too, the look of
-disappointment in Totty’s eyes when he had alluded to the respectability
-of the furniture, as they walked up Fifth Avenue.
-
-Those thoughts did not altogether vanish without suggesting to George’s
-inner sight the outlines of the girls’ faces, and at the same time he
-had a faint memory of the sounds of their voices. It would not displease
-him to see and hear both again, but, on the other hand, a visit in the
-afternoon was an undertaking of some importance, a fact which cannot be
-realised by people who have spent their lives in society, and who go to
-see each other as a natural pastime, just as the solitary man takes up a
-book, or as the sailor who has nothing to do knots and splices odds and
-ends of rope. It is not only that the material preparations are irksome,
-and that it is a distinctly troublesome affair for the young literary
-drudge to make himself outwardly presentable; there is also the tiresome
-necessity of smoothing out the weary brain so that it may be capable of
-appreciating a set of unfamiliar impressions in which it anticipates no
-relaxation. Add to all this the leaven of shyness which so often belongs
-to young and sensitive natures, and the slight exertion necessary in
-such a case swells and rises till it seems to be an insurmountable
-barrier.
-
-A day came, however, when George had nothing to do. It would be more
-accurate to say that on a particular afternoon, having finished one
-piece of work to his satisfaction, he did not feel inclined to begin
-another; for, among the many consequences of entering upon a literary
-life is the losing for ever of the feeling that at any moment there is
-nothing to be done. Let a writer work until his brain reels and his
-fingers can no longer hold the pen, he will nevertheless find it
-impossible to rest without imagining that he is being idle. He cannot
-escape from the devil that drives him, because he is himself the driver
-and the driven, the fiend and his victim, the torturer and the tortured.
-Let physicians rail at the horrible consequences of drink, of excessive
-smoking, of opium, of chloral, and of morphine—the most terrible of all
-stimulants is ink, the hardest of taskmasters, the most fascinating of
-enchanters, the breeder of the sweetest dreams and of the most appalling
-nightmares, the most insinuating of poisons, the surest of destroyers.
-One may truly venture to say that of an equal number of opium-eaters and
-professional writers, the opium-eaters have the best of it in the matter
-of long life, health, and peace of mind. We all hear of the miserable
-end of the poor wretch who has subsisted for years upon stimulants or
-narcotics, and whose death, often at an advanced age, is held up as a
-warning to youth; but who ever knows or speaks of the countless deaths
-due solely to the overuse of pen, ink, and paper? Who catalogues the
-names of those many whose brains give way before their bodies are worn
-out? Who counts the suicides brought about by failure, the cases of men
-starving because they would rather write bad English than do good work
-of any other sort? In proportion to the whole literary profession of the
-modern world the deaths alone, without counting other accidents, are
-more numerous than those caused by alcohol among drinkers, by nicotine
-among smokers, and by morphine and like drugs among those who use them.
-For one man who succeeds in literature, a thousand fail, and a hundred,
-who have looked upon the ink when it was black and cannot be warned from
-it, and whose nostrils have smelled the printer’s sacrifice, are ruined
-for all usefulness and go drifting and struggling down the stream of
-failure till death or madness puts an end to their sufferings. And yet
-no one ventures to call writing a destroying vice, nor to condemn poor
-scribblers as “ink-drunkards”.
-
-George walked the whole distance from his house to Washington Square. He
-had not been in that part of the city since he had come with his cousin
-to make his first visit, but as he drew near to his destination he began
-to regret that he had allowed more than a fortnight to pass without
-making any attempt to see his new acquaintances. On reaching the house
-he found that Constance Fearing was at home. He was sorry not to see the
-younger sister, with whom he had found conversation more easy and
-sympathetic. On the other hand, the atmosphere of the house seemed less
-stiff and formal than on the first occasion; the disposition of the
-heavy furniture had been changed, there were flowers in the
-old-fashioned vases, and there were more books and small objects
-scattered upon the tables.
-
-“I was afraid you were never coming again!” exclaimed the young girl,
-holding out her hand.
-
-There was something simple and frank about her manner which put George
-at his ease.
-
-“You are very kind,” he answered, “I was afraid that even to-day might
-be too soon. But Sherry Trimm says that when he is in doubt he plays
-trumps—and so I came.”
-
-“Not at all too soon,” suggested Constance.
-
-“The calculation is very simple. A visit once a fortnight would make
-twenty-six visits a year with a fraction more in leap year, would it
-not? Does not that appal you?”
-
-“I have not a mathematical mind, and I do not look so far ahead.
-Besides, if we are away for six months in the summer, you would not make
-so many.”
-
-“I forgot that everybody does not stay in town the whole year. I suppose
-you will go abroad again?”
-
-“Not this year,” answered Miss Fearing rather sadly.
-
-George glanced at her face and then looked quickly away. He understood
-her tone, and it seemed natural enough that the fresh recollection of
-her mother’s death should for some time prevent both the sisters from
-returning to Europe. He could not help wondering how much real sorrow
-lay behind the young girl’s sadness, though he was somewhat astonished
-to find himself engaged in such an odd psychological calculation. He did
-not readily believe evil of any one, and yet he found it hard to believe
-much absolute good. Possibly he may have inherited something of this
-un-trustfulness from his father, and there was a side in his own
-character which abhorred it. For a few moments there was silence between
-the two. George sitting in his upright chair and bending forward, gazing
-stupidly at his own hands clasped upon his knee, while Constance Fearing
-leaned far back in her deep easy-chair watching his dark profile against
-the bright light of the window.
-
-“Do you like people, Miss Fearing?” George asked rather suddenly.
-
-“How do you mean?”
-
-“I mean, is your first impulse, about people you meet for the first
-time, to trust them, or not?”
-
-“That is not an easy question to answer. I do not think I have thought
-much about it. What is your own impulse?”
-
-“You are distrustful,” said George in a tone of conviction.
-
-“Why?”
-
-“Because you answer a question by a question.”
-
-“Is that a sign? How careful one should be! No—I will try to answer
-fairly. I think I am unprejudiced, but I like to look at people’s faces
-before I make up my mind about them.”
-
-“And when you have decided, do you change easily? Have you not a decided
-first impression to which you come back in spite of your judgment, and
-in spite of yourself?”
-
-“I do not know. I fancy not. I think I would rather not have anything of
-the kind. Why do you ask?”
-
-“Out of curiosity. I am not ashamed of being curious. Have you ever
-tried to think what the world would be like if nobody asked questions?”
-
-“It would be a very quiet place.”
-
-“We should all be asleep. Curiosity is only the waking state of the
-mind. We are all asking questions, all the time, either of ourselves, of
-our friends, or of our books. Nine-tenths of them are never answered,
-but that does not prevent us from asking more.”
-
-“Or from repeating the same ones—to ourselves,” said Constance.
-
-“Yes; the most interesting ones,”
-
-“What is most interesting?”
-
-“Always that which we hope the most and the least expect to have,”
-George answered. “We are talking psychology or something very like it,”
-he added with a dry laugh.
-
-“Is there any reason why we should not?” asked his companion. “Why do
-you laugh, Mr. Wood? Your laugh does not sound very heartfelt either.”
-She fixed her clear blue eyes on him for a moment.
-
-“One rarely does well what one has not practised before an audience,” he
-answered. “As you suggest, there is no reason why we should not talk
-psychology—if we know enough about it—that is to say, if you do, for I
-am sure I do not. There is no subject on which it is so easy to make
-smart remarks.”
-
-“Excepting our neighbour,” observed Constance.
-
-“I have no neighbours. Who is my neighbour?” asked George rather
-viciously.
-
-“I think there is a biblical answer to that question.”
-
-“But I do not live in biblical times; and I suppose my scratches are too
-insignificant to attract the attention of any passing Samaritan.”
-
-“Perhaps you have none at all.”
-
-“Perhaps not. I suppose our neighbours are ‘them that we love that love
-us,’ so the old toast says. Are they not?”
-
-“And those whom we ought to love, I fancy,” suggested Constance.
-
-“But we ought to love our enemies. What a neighbourly world it is, and
-how full of love it should be!”
-
-“Fortunately, love is a vague word.”
-
-“Have you never tried to define it?” asked the young man.
-
-“I am not clever enough for that. Perhaps you could.”
-
-George looked quickly at the young girl. He was not prepared to believe
-that she made the suggestion out of coquetry, but he was not old enough
-to understand that such a remark might have escaped from her lips
-without the slightest intention.
-
-“I rather think that definition ends when love begins,” he said, after a
-moment’s pause. “All love is experimental, and definition is generally
-the result of many experiments.”
-
-“Experimental?”
-
-“Yes. Do you not know many cases in which people have tried the
-experiment and have failed? It is no less an experiment if it happens to
-succeed. Affection is a matter of fact, but love is a matter of
-speculation.”
-
-“I should not think that experimental love would be worth much,” said
-Constance, with a shade of embarrassment. A very faint colour rose in
-her cheeks as she spoke.
-
-“One should have tried it before one should judge. Or else, one should
-begin at the other extremity and work backwards from hate to love,
-through the circle of one’s acquaintances.”
-
-“Why are you always alluding to hating people?” asked the young girl,
-turning her eyes upon him with a look of gentle, surprised protest. “Is
-it for the sake of seeming cynical, or for the sake of making paradoxes?
-It is not really possible that you should hate every one, you know.”
-
-“With a few brilliant exceptions, you are quite right,” George answered.
-“But I was hoping to discover that you hated some one, for the sake of
-observing your symptoms. You look so very good.”
-
-It would have been hard to say that the expression of his face had
-changed, but as he made the last remark the lines that naturally gave
-his mouth a scornful look were unusually apparent. The colour appeared
-again in Constance’s cheeks, a little brighter than before, and her eyes
-glistened as she looked away from her visitor.
-
-“I think you might find that appearances are deceptive, if you go on,”
-she said.
-
-“Should I?” asked George quietly, his features relaxing in a singularly
-attractive smile which was rarely seen upon his face. He was conscious
-of a thrill of intense satisfaction at the manifestation of the young
-girl’s sensitiveness, a satisfaction which he could not then explain,
-but which was in reality highly artistic. The sensation could only be
-compared to that produced in an appreciative ear by a new and perfectly
-harmonious modulation sounded upon a very beautiful instrument.
-
-“I wonder,” he resumed presently, “what form the opposite of goodness
-would take in you. Are you ever very angry? Perhaps it is rude to ask
-such questions. Is it?”
-
-“I do not know. No one was ever rude to me,” Constance answered calmly.
-“But I have been angry—since you ask—I often am, about little things.”
-
-“And are you very fierce and terrible on those occasions?”
-
-“Very terrible indeed,” laughed the young girl. “I should frighten you
-if you were to see me.”
-
-“I can well believe that. I am of a timid disposition.”
-
-“Are you? You do not look like it. I shall ask Mrs. Trimm if it is true.
-By-the-bye, have you seen her to-day?”
-
-“Not since we were here together.”
-
-“I thought you saw her very often. I had a note from her yesterday. I
-suppose you know?”
-
-“I know nothing. What is it?”
-
-“Old Mr. Craik is very ill—dying, they say. She wrote to tell me so,
-explaining why she had not been here.”
-
-George’s eyes suddenly gleamed with a disagreeable light. The news was
-as unexpected as it was agreeable. Not, indeed, that George could ever
-hope to profit in any way by the old man’s death; for he was naturally
-so generous that, if such a prospect had existed, he would have been the
-last to rejoice in its realisation. He hated Thomas Craik with an honest
-and disinterested hatred, and the idea the world was to be rid of him at
-last was inexpressibly delightful.
-
-“He is dying, is he?” he asked in a constrained voice.
-
-“You seem glad to hear it,” said Constance, looking at him with some
-curiosity.
-
-“I? Yes—well, I am not exactly sorry!” His laugh was harsh and unreal.
-“You could hardly expect me to shed tears—that is, if you know anything
-of my father’s misfortunes.”
-
-“Yes, I have heard something. But I am sorry that I was the person to
-give you the news.”
-
-“Why? I am grateful to you.”
-
-“I know you are, and that is precisely what I do not like. I do not
-expect you to be grieved, but I do not like to see one man so elated
-over the news of another man’s danger.”
-
-“Why not say, his death!” exclaimed George.
-
-Constance was silent for a moment, and then looked at him as she spoke.
-
-“I hardly know you, Mr. Wood. This is only the second time I have seen
-you, and I have no right to make remarks about your character. But I
-cannot help thinking—that——”
-
-She hesitated, not as though from any embarrassment, but as if she could
-not find the words she wanted. George made no attempt to help her,
-though he knew perfectly well what she wanted to say. He waited coldly
-to see whether she could complete her sentence.
-
-“You ought not to think such things,” she said suddenly, “and if you do,
-you ought not to show it.”
-
-“In other words, you wish me to reform either my character or my
-manners, or both? Do you know that old Tom Craik ruined my father? Do
-you know that after he had done that, he let my father’s reputation
-suffer, though my father was as honest as the daylight, and he himself
-was the thief? That sounds very dramatic and theatrical, does it not? It
-is all very true nevertheless. And yet, you expect me to be such a
-clever actor as not to show my satisfaction at your news. All I can say,
-Miss Fearing, is that you expect a great deal of human nature, and that
-I am very sorry to be the particular individual who is fated to
-disappoint your expectations.”
-
-“Of course you feel strongly about it—I did not know all you have just
-told me, or I would not have spoken. I wish every one could forgive—it
-is so right to forgive.”
-
-“Yes—undoubtedly,” assented George. “Begin by forgiving me, please, and
-then tell me what is the matter with the worthy Mr. Craik.”
-
-“Mrs. Trimm seems to think it is nervous prostration—what everybody has
-nowadays.”
-
-“Is she very much cut up?” George asked with an air of concern.
-
-“She writes that she does not leave him.”
-
-“Nor will—until——” George stopped short.
-
-“What were you going to say?”
-
-“I was going to make a remark about the human will in general and about
-the wills of dying men in particular. It was very ill-natured, and in
-direct contradiction to your orders.”
-
-“I suppose she will have all his fortune in any case,” observed
-Constance, repressing a smile, as though she felt that it would not suit
-the tone she had taken before.
-
-“Since you make so worldly an inquiry, I presume we may take it for
-granted that the mantle of Mr. Craik’s filthy lucre will descend upon
-the unwilling shoulders of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm. To be plain, Totty
-will get the dollars. Well—I wish her joy. She is not acquainted with
-poverty, as it is, nor was destitution ever her familiar friend.”
-
-“Why do you affect that biblical sort of language?”
-
-“It seems to me more forcible than swearing. Besides, you would not let
-me swear, I am sure, even if I wanted to.”
-
-“Certainly not——”
-
-“Very well, then you must forgive the imperfections of my style in
-consideration of my not doing very much worse. I think I will go and ask
-how Mr. Craik is doing to-day. Would not that show a proper spirit of
-charity and forgiveness?”
-
-“I hope you will do nothing of the sort!” exclaimed Constance hastily.
-
-“Would it not be a proof that I had profited by your instruction?”
-
-“I think it would be very hypocritical, and not at all nice.”
-
-“Do you? It seems to me that it would only look civil——”
-
-“From what you told me, civility can hardly be expected from you in this
-case.”
-
-“I am not obliged to tell the servant at the door the motive of my
-curiosity when I inquire after the health of a dying relation. That
-would be asking too much.”
-
-“You can inquire just as well at Mrs. Trimm’s——”
-
-“Mr. Craik’s house is on my way home from here—Totty’s is not on the
-direct line.”
-
-“I hope you—how absurd of me, though! It is no business of mine.”
-
-George could not say anything in reply to this statement, but an
-expression of amusement came over his face, which did not escape his
-companion. Constance laughed a little nervously.
-
-“You are obliged to admit that it is none of my business, you see,” she
-said.
-
-“I am in the position of a man who cannot assent without being rude, nor
-differ without impugning the known truth.”
-
-“That was very well done, Mr. Wood,” said Constance. “I have nothing
-more to say.”
-
-“To me? Then I herewith most humbly take my leave.” George rose from his
-seat.
-
-“I did not mean that!” exclaimed the young girl with a smile. “Do not
-go——”
-
-“It is growing late, and Mr. Craik may be gathered to his fathers before
-I can ring at his door and ask how he is.”
-
-“Oh, please do not talk any more about that poor man!”
-
-“If I stay here I shall. May I come again some day, Miss Fearing? You
-bear me no malice for being afflicted with so much original sin?”
-
-“Its originality almost makes it pardonable. Come whenever you please.
-We shall always be glad to see you, and I hope that my sister will be
-here the next time.”
-
-George vaguely hoped that she would not as he bowed and left the room.
-He had enjoyed the visit far more than Constance had, for whereas his
-conversation had somewhat disquieted her sensitive feeling of fitness,
-hers had afforded him a series of novel and delightful sensations. He
-was conscious of a new interest, of a new train of thought, and
-especially of an odd and inexplicable sense of physical comfort that
-seemed to proceed from the region of the heart, as though his body had
-been cheered, his blood warmed, and his circulation stimulated by the
-assimilation of many good things. As he walked up the Avenue, he did not
-ask himself whether he had produced a good or a bad impression upon Miss
-Fearing, nor whether he had talked well or ill, still less whether the
-young girl had liked him, though it is probable that if he had put any
-of these questions to his inner consciousness that complacent witness
-would, in his present mood, have answered all his inquiries in the way
-most satisfactory to his vanity. For some reason or other he was not
-curious to know what his inner consciousness thought of the matter. For
-the moment, sensation was enough, and he was surprised to discover that
-sensation could be so agreeable. He knew that he was holding his head
-higher than usual, that his glance was more confident than it was wont
-to be, and his step more elastic, but he did not connect any of these
-phenomena in a direct way with his visit in Washington Square. Perhaps
-there was a vague notion afloat in his brain to the effect that if he
-once allowed the connection he should be forced into calling himself a
-fool, and that it was consequently far wiser to enjoy the state in which
-he found himself than to inquire too closely into its immediate or
-remote causes.
-
-It is also probable that if George Wood’s condition of general
-satisfaction on that evening had been more clearly dependent upon his
-recollection of the young lady he had just left, he would have felt an
-impulse to please her by doing as she wished; in other words, he would
-have gone home or would have passed by Totty’s house to make inquiries,
-instead of executing his purpose of ringing at Mr. Craik’s door. But
-there was something contradictory in his nature, which drove him to do
-the very things which most men would have left undone; and moreover
-there was a grain of grim humour in the idea of asking in person after
-Tom Craik’s health, which made the plan irresistibly attractive. He
-imagined his own expression when he should tell his father what he had
-done, and he knew the old gentleman well enough to guess that the satire
-of the proceeding would inwardly please him in spite of himself, though
-he would certainly look grave and shake his head when he heard the
-story.
-
-Constance Fearing’s meditations, when she was left alone, were of a very
-different character. She stood for a long time at the window looking out
-into the purple haze that hung about the square, and then she turned and
-went and sat before the fire, and gazed at the glowing coals. George
-Wood could not but have felt flattered had he known that was the subject
-of her thoughts during the greater part of an hour after his departure,
-and he would have been very much surprised at his own ignorance of human
-nature had he guessed that her mind was disturbed by the remembrance of
-her own conduct. He would assuredly have called her morbid and have
-doubted the sincerity of her most sacred convictions, and if he could
-have looked into her mind, that part of his history which was destined
-to be connected with hers would in all likelihood have remained
-unenacted. He could certainly not have understood her mood at that time,
-and the attempt to do so would have filled him with most unreasonable
-prejudices against her.
-
-To the young girl it seemed indeed a very serious matter to have
-criticised George’s conduct and to have thrust her advice upon him. It
-was the first time she had ever done such a thing and she wondered at
-her own boldness. She repeated to herself that it was none of her
-business to consider what George Wood did, and still less to sit in
-judgment upon his thoughts, and yet she was glad that she had spoken as
-she had. She knew very little about men, and she was willing to believe
-they might all think alike. At all events this particular man had very
-good cause for resentment against Thomas Craik. Nevertheless there was
-something in his evident delight at the prospect of the old man’s death
-that was revolting to her finest feelings. Absolutely ignorant of the
-world’s real evil, she saw her own path beset with imaginary sins of the
-most varied description, to avoid committing which needed the constant
-wakefulness of a delicate sensibility; and as she knew of no greater or
-more real evils, she fancied that the lives of others must be like her
-own—a labyrinth of transparent cobwebs, to brush against one of which,
-even inadvertently, was but a little removed from crime itself. Her
-education had been so strongly influenced by religion and her natural
-sensitiveness was so great, that the main object of life presented
-itself to her as the necessity for discovering an absolute right or
-wrong in the most minute action, and the least relaxation of this
-constant watch appeared to her to be indicative of moral sloth. The fact
-that, with such a disposition she was not an intolerable nuisance to all
-who knew her, was due to her innate tact and good taste, and in some
-measure to her youth, which lent its freshness and innocence to all she
-did and thought and said. At the present time her conscience seemed to
-be more than usually active and dissatisfied. She assuredly did not
-believe that it was her mission to reform George Wood, or to decorate
-his somewhat peculiar character with religious arabesques of faith,
-hope, and charity; but it is equally certain that she felt an
-unaccountable interest in his conduct, and a degree of curiosity in his
-actions which, considering how slightly she knew him, was little short
-of amazing. Had she been an older woman, less religious and more aware
-of her own instincts, she would have asked herself whether she was not
-already beginning to care for George Wood himself rather than for the
-blameless rectitude of her own moral feelings. But with her the
-refinements of a girlish religiousness had so far got the upper hand of
-everything else that she attributed her uneasiness to the doubt about
-her own conduct rather than to a secret attraction which was even then
-beginning to exercise its influence over her.
-
-It was to be foreseen that Constance Fearing would not fall in love
-easily, even under the most favourable circumstances. The most innocent
-love in the world often finds a barrier in the species of religious
-sentimentality by which she was at that time dominated, for morbid
-scruples have power to kill spontaneity and all that is spontaneous,
-among which things love is first, or should be. Constance was not like
-her sister Grace, who had loved John Bond ever since they had been
-children, and who meant to marry him as soon as possible. Her colder
-temperament would lose time in calculating for the future instead of
-allowing her to be happy in the present. Deep in her heart, too, there
-lay a seed of unhappiness, in the habit of doubting which had grown out
-of her mistrust of her own motives. She was very rich. Should a poor
-suitor present himself, could she help fearing lest he loved her money,
-when she could hardly find faith in herself for the integrity of her own
-most trivial intentions? She never thought of Grace without admiring her
-absolute trust in the man she loved.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER V.
-
-
-Thomas Craik lay ill in his great house, listening for the failing
-beatings of his heart as the last glow of the February afternoon faded
-out of the curtains and withdrew its rich colour from the carved panels
-on the walls. He lay upon his pillows, an emaciated old man with a waxen
-face and head, sunken eyes that seemed to have no sight in them. Short
-locks of yellowish grey hair strayed about his forehead and temples,
-like dry grasses scattered over a skull. There was no beard upon his
-face, and the hard old lips were tightly drawn in a set expression, a
-little apart, so that the black shadow of the open mouth was visible
-between them. The long, nervous hands lay upon the counterpane together,
-the fingers of the one upon the wrist of the other feeling the sinking
-pulse, searching with their numbed extremities for a little flutter of
-motion in the dry veins. Thomas Craik lay motionless in his bed, not one
-outward sign betraying the tremendous conflict that was taking place in
-his still active brain. He was himself to the last, such as he had
-always been in the great moments of his life, apparently cool and
-collected, in reality filled with the struggle of strong, opposing
-passions.
-
-He was not alone. Two great physicians were standing in silence, side by
-side, before the magnificent chimney-piece, beneath which a soft fire of
-dry wood was burning steadily with a low and unvarying musical roar. An
-attendant sat upright upon a carved chair at the foot of the bed, not
-taking his eyes from the sick man’s face.
-
-The room was large and magnificent in its furniture and appointments.
-The high wainscot had been carved in rare woods after the designs of a
-great French artist. The walls above were covered with matchless Cordova
-leather from an Italian palace. The ceiling was composed of rich panels
-that surrounded a broad canvas from the hand of a famous Spanish master,
-dead long ago. The chimney-piece was enriched with old brass work from
-Cairo, and with exquisite tiles from Turkish mosques. Priceless eastern
-carpets of which not one was younger than the century, covered the
-inlaid wooden floor. Diana of Poitiers had slept beneath the canopy of
-the princely bedstead; it was said that Louis the Fourteenth had eaten
-off the table that was placed beside it, and Benvenuto Cellini had
-carved the silver bell which stood within reach of the patient’s hand.
-There was incongruity in the assemblage of different objects, but the
-great value of each and all saved the effect from vulgarity, and lent to
-the whole something of the odd harmony peculiar to certain collections.
-
-It was the opinion of the two doctors that Tom Craik was dying. They had
-done what they could for him and were waiting for the end. As to his
-malady it was sufficiently clear to both of them that his vitality was
-exhausted and that even if he survived this crisis he could not have
-long to live. They agreed that the action of the heart had been much
-impaired by a life of constant excitement and that the nerves had lost
-their elasticity. They had taken pains to explain to his sister, Mrs.
-Sherrington Trimm, that there was very little to be done and that the
-patient should be advised to make his last dispositions, since a little
-fatigue more or less could make no material difference in his state,
-whereas he would probably die more easily if his mind were free from
-anxiety. Totty had spent the day in the house and intended to return in
-the evening. She bore up very well under the trial, and the physicians
-felt obliged to restrain her constant activity in tending her brother
-while she was in the room, as it seemed to make him nervous and
-irritable. She had their fullest sympathy, of course, as persons who are
-supposed to be sole legatees of the dying very generally have, but so
-far as their professional capacity was concerned, the two felt that it
-went better with the patient when his faithful sister was out of the
-house.
-
-From time to time inquiries were made on the part of acquaintances,
-generally through their servants, but they were not many. Though the
-other persons in the room scarcely heard the distant ringing of the
-muffled bell, and the careful opening and shutting of the street door,
-the feeble old man never failed to catch the sound of both and either
-with his eyes or half-uttered words asked who had called. On receiving
-the answer he generally moved his head a little wearily and his lids
-drooped again.
-
-“Is there anybody you expect? Anybody you wish to see?” one of the
-physicians once asked, bending low and speaking softly. He suspected
-that something was disquieting the dying man’s mind.
-
-But there was no answer, and the lids drooped again. It was now dusk and
-it would soon be night. Many hours might pass before the end came, and
-the doctors consulted in low tones as to which of them should remain.
-Just then the faint and distant rattle of the bell was heard.
-Immediately Tom Craik stirred, and seemed to be listening attentively.
-The two men ceased speaking and they could hear the front door softly
-open in the street below, and close again a few seconds later. One of
-the physicians glanced at the patient, saw the usual look of inquiry in
-his face and quickly left the room. When he returned he held a card in
-his hand, which he took to the bedside after looking at it by the
-fireside. Bending down, he spoke in a low tone.
-
-“Mr. George Winton Wood has called,” he said.
-
-Tom Craik’s sunken eyes opened suddenly and fixed themselves on the
-speaker’s face.
-
-“Any message?” he asked very feebly.
-
-“He said he had only just heard of your illness, and was very
-sorry—would call again.”
-
-A strange look of satisfaction came into the old man’s colourless face,
-and a low sigh escaped his lips as he closed his eyes again.
-
-“Would you like to see him?” inquired the doctor.
-
-The patient shook his head without raising his lids, and the room was
-still once more. Presently the other physician departed and the one who
-was left installed himself in a comfortable chair from which he could
-see the bed and the door. During half an hour no sound was heard save
-the muffled roar of the wood fire. At last the sick man stirred again.
-
-“Doctor—come here,” he said in a harsh whisper.
-
-“What is it, Mr. Craik?”
-
-“Send for Trimm at once.”
-
-“Mrs. Trimm, did you say?”
-
-“No—Sherry Trimm himself—make my will—see? Quick.”
-
-The physician stared at his patient for a moment in very considerable
-surprise, for he thought he had reason to suppose that Thomas Craik’s
-will had been made already, and now he half suspected that the old man’s
-mind was wandering. He hesitated.
-
-“You think I’m not able, do you?” asked Craik, his rough whisper rising
-to a growl. “Well, I am. I’m not dead yet, so get him quickly.”
-
-The doctor left the room without further delay, to give the necessary
-orders. When he returned, Mr. Craik was lying with his eyes wide open,
-staring at the fire.
-
-“Give me something, can’t you?” he said with more energy than he had
-shown that day.
-
-The doctor began to think that it was not yet all up with his patient,
-as he mixed something in a glass and gave it to him. Craik drank eagerly
-and moved his stiffened lips afterwards as though he had enjoyed the
-taste of the drink.
-
-“I may not jockey the undertaker,” he grumbled, “but I shall last till
-morning, anyhow.”
-
-Nearly half an hour elapsed before Sherrington Trimm reached the house,
-but during all that time Thomas Craik did not close his eyes again. His
-face looked less waxen, too, and his sight seemed to have recovered some
-of the light that had been fading out of it by degrees all day. The
-doctor watched him with interest, wondering, as doctors must often
-wonder, what was passing in his brain, what last, unspent remnant of
-life’s passions had caused so sudden a revival of his energy, and
-whether this manifestation of strength were the last flare of the dying
-lamp, or whether Tom Craik, to use his own words, would jockey the
-undertaker, as he had jockeyed many another adversary in his stirring
-existence.
-
-The door opened, and Sherrington Trimm entered the room. He was a short,
-active man, slightly inclined to be stout, bald and very full about the
-chin and neck, with sharp, movable blue eyes, and a closely-cut,
-grizzled moustache. His hands were plump, white and pointed, his feet
-were diminutive and his dress was irreproachable. He had a habit of
-turning his head quickly to the right and left when he spoke, as though
-challenging contradiction. He came briskly to the bedside and took one
-of Craik’s wasted hands in his, with a look of honest sympathy.
-
-“How are you, Tom?” he inquired, suppressing his cheerful voice to a
-sort of subdued chirp.
-
-“According to him,” growled Craik, glancing at the doctor, “I believe I
-died this afternoon. However, I want to make my will, so get out your
-tools, Sherry, and set to. Please leave us alone,” he added, looking up
-at the physician.
-
-The latter went out, taking the attendant with him.
-
-“Your will!” exclaimed Sherry Trimm, when the door had closed behind the
-two. “I thought——”
-
-“Bad habit, thinking things. Don’t. Put that drink where I can reach
-it—so. There’s paper on the table. Sit down.”
-
-Trimm saw that he had better not argue the matter, and he did as he was
-bidden. He was indeed very much surprised at the sudden turn of affairs,
-for he was perfectly well aware that Tom Craik had made a will some
-years previously in which he left his whole fortune to his only sister,
-Trimm’s wife. The lawyer wondered what his brother-in-law intended to do
-now, and as the only means of ascertaining the truth seemed to be to
-obey his orders, he lost no time in preparing to receive the dictation.
-
-“This the last will and testament of me, Thomas Craik,” said the sick
-man, sharply. “Got that? Go on. I do hereby revoke and annul all former
-wills made by me. That’s correct isn’t it? No, I’m not wandering—not a
-bit. Very important that clause—very. Go ahead about the just debts and
-funeral expenses. I needn’t dictate that.”
-
-Trimm wrote rapidly on, nervously anxious to get to the point.
-
-“Got that? Well. I bequeath all my worldly possessions, real and
-personal estate of all kinds—go on with the stock phrases—include house
-and furniture, trinkets and everything.”
-
-Trimm’s hand moved quickly along the ruled lines of the foolscap.
-
-“To whom?” he asked almost breathlessly, as he reached the end of the
-formal phrase.
-
-“To George Winton Wood,” said Craik with an odd snap of the lips. “His
-name’s on that card, Sherry, beside you, if you don’t know how to spell
-it. Go on. Son of Jonah Wood of New York, and of Fanny Winton deceased,
-also of New York. No mistake about the identity, eh? Got it down? To
-have and to hold—and all the rest of it. Let’s get to the signature—look
-sharp! Get in the witness clause right—that’s the most important—don’t
-forget to say, in our presence and in the presence of each other—there’s
-where the hitch comes in about proving wills. All right. Ring for the
-doctor and we’ll have the witnesses right away. Make the date clear.”
-
-Sherrington Trimm had not recovered from his surprise, as he pressed the
-silver button of the bell. The physician entered immediately.
-
-“Can you be the other witness yourself, Sherry? Rather not? Doctor, just
-send for Stubbs, will you please? He’ll do, won’t he?”
-
-Trimm nodded, while he and the physician set a small invalid’s table
-upon the sick man’s knees, and spread upon it the will, of which the ink
-was not yet dry. Trimm dipped the pen in the ink and handed it to Mr.
-Craik.
-
-“Let me drink first,” said the latter. He swallowed the small draught
-eagerly, and then looked about him.
-
-“Will you sign?” asked Trimm nervously.
-
-“Is Stubbs here? Wait for him. Here, Stubbs—you see—this is my will. I’m
-going to sign it, and you’re a witness.”
-
-“Yes, sir,” said the butler, gravely. He moved forward cautiously so
-that he could see the document and recognise it if he should ever be
-called upon to do so.
-
-The sick man steadied himself while the doctor thrust his arm behind the
-pillows to give him more support. Then he set the pen to the paper and
-traced his name in large, clear characters. He did not take his eyes
-from the paper until the doctor and the servant had signed as witnesses.
-Then his head fell back on the pillows.
-
-“Take that thing away, Sherry, and keep it,” he said, feebly, for the
-strength had gone out of him all at once. “You may want it to-morrow—or
-you may not.”
-
-Mechanically he laid his fingers on his own pulse, and then lay quite
-still. Sherrington Trimm looked at the doctor with an expression of
-inquiry, but the latter only shrugged his shoulders and turned away.
-After such a manifestation of energy as he had just seen, he felt that
-it was impossible to foresee what would happen. Tom Craik’s nerves might
-weather the strain after all, and he might recover. Mr. Trimm folded the
-document neatly, wrapped it in a second sheet of paper and put it into
-his pocket. Then he prepared to take his leave. He touched the sick
-man’s hand gently.
-
-“Good-night, Tom,” he said, bending over his brother-in-law. “I will
-call in the morning and ask how you are.”
-
-Craik opened his eyes.
-
-“Tell nobody what I have done, till I’m dead,” he answered in a whisper.
-“Good-night.”
-
-Mr. Trimm felt no inclination to divulge the contents of the will. He
-was a very shrewd and keen man, who could certainly not be accused of
-having ever neglected his own interest, but he was also scrupulously
-honest, not only with that professional honesty which is both politic
-and lucrative, but in all his thoughts and reasonings with himself. At
-the present moment, his position was not an agreeable one. It is true
-that neither he nor his wife were in need of Craik’s money, for they had
-plenty of their own; but it is equally certain that during several years
-past they had confidently expected to inherit the old man’s fortune, if
-he died before them. Trimm had himself drawn up the will by which his
-wife was made the heir to almost everything Craik possessed. There had
-been a handsome legacy provided for this same George Winton Wood, but
-all the rest was to have been Totty’s. And now Trimm had seen the whole
-aspect of the future changed by a stroke of the pen, apparently during
-the last minutes of the old man’s life. He knew that the testator was in
-full possession of his senses, and that the document was as valid as any
-will could be. Conscientious as he was, if he had believed that Craik
-was no longer sane, he would have been quite ready to take advantage of
-the circumstance, and would have lost no time in consulting the
-physician with a view to obtaining evidence in the case that would
-arise. But it was evident that Craik’s mind was in no way affected by
-his illness. The thing was done, and if Craik died it was irrevocable.
-Sherry and Totty Trimm would never live in the magnificent house of
-which they had so often talked.
-
-“Not even the house!” he whispered to himself as he went down stairs.
-“Not even the house!”
-
-For a legacy he would not have cared. A few thousands were no object to
-him, and he was unlike his wife in that he did not care for money
-itself. The whole fortune, or half of it, added to what the couple
-already had, would have made in their lives the difference between
-luxury and splendour; the possession of the house alone, with what it
-contained, would have given them the keenest pleasure, but in Trimm’s
-opinion a paltry legacy of ten thousand dollars, or so, would not have
-been worth the trouble of taking. Of course it was possible that Tom
-Craik might recover, and make a third will. Trimm knew by experience
-that a man who will once change his mind completely, may change it a
-dozen times if he have time. But Craik was very ill and there seemed
-little likelihood of his ever getting upon his legs again.
-
-Trimm had known much of his brother-in-law’s affairs during the last
-twenty years, and he was far less surprised at the way in which he had
-now finally wound them up, before taking his departure from life, than
-most people would have been. He knew better than any one that Craik was
-not so utterly bad-hearted as he was generally believed to be, and he
-knew that as the man grew older he felt twinges of remorse when he
-thought of Jonah Wood. That he cordially detested the latter was not
-altogether astonishing, since he had so greatly injured him, but the
-natural contrariety of his nature forced him into an illogical
-situation. He hated Wood and yet he desired to make him some sort of
-restitution, not indeed out of principle or respect for any law, human
-or divine, but as a means of pacifying his half-nervous,
-half-superstitious conscience. He could not have done anything openly in
-the matter, for that would have been equivalent to acknowledging the
-unwritten debt, so that the only way out of his difficulty lay in the
-disposal of his fortune after his death. But although he suffered
-something very like remorse, he hated Jonah Wood too thoroughly to
-insert his name in his will. There was nothing to be done but to leave
-money to George. It had seemed to him that a legacy of a hundred
-thousand dollars would be enough to procure his own peace of mind, and
-having once made that arrangement he had dismissed the subject.
-
-But as he lay in this illness, which he believed was to be his last,
-further change had taken place in his view of the matter. He was
-naturally suspicious, as well as shrewd, and the extreme anxiety
-displayed by his sister had attracted his attention. They had always
-lived on excellent terms, and Totty was distinctly a woman of
-demonstrative temperament. It was assuredly not surprising that she
-should show much feeling for her brother and spend much time in taking
-care of him. It was quite right that she should be at his bedside in
-moments of danger, and that she should besiege the doctors with
-questions about Tom’s chances of recovery. But in Tom’s opinion there
-was a false note in her good behaviour and a false ring in her voice.
-There was something strained, something not quite natural, something he
-could hardly define, but which roused all the powers of opposition for
-which he had been famous throughout his life. It was a peculiarity of
-his malady that his mental faculties were wholly unimpaired, and were,
-if anything, sharpened by his bodily sufferings and by his anxiety about
-his own state. The consequence was that as soon as the doubt about
-Totty’s sincerity had entered his mind, he had concentrated his
-attention upon it, had studied it and had applied himself to accounting
-for her minutest actions and most careless words upon the theory that
-she was playing a part. In less than twenty-four hours the suspicion had
-become a conviction, and Craik felt sure that Totty was overdoing her
-show of sisterly affection in order to hide her delight at the prospect
-of her brother’s death. It is not too unjust to say that there was a
-proportion of truth in Mr. Craik’s suppositions, and that Mrs.
-Sherrington Trimm’s perturbation of spirits did not result so much from
-the dread of a great sorrow as from the prospect of a very great
-satisfaction when that sorrow should have spent itself. She was not in
-the least ashamed of her heartlessness, either. Was she not doing
-everything in her power to soothe her brother’s last days, sacrificing
-to his comfort the last taste of gaiety she could enjoy until the
-mourning for him should be over, submitting to a derangement of her
-comfortable existence which was nothing short of distracting? It was not
-her fault if Tom had not one of those lovable natures whose departure
-from this life leaves a great void in the place where they have dwelt.
-
-But from being convinced that Totty cared only for the money to the act
-of depriving her of it was a long distance for the old man’s mind to
-pass over. He was just enough to admit that in a similar position he
-would have felt very much as she did, though he would certainly have
-acted his part more skilfully and with less theatrical exaggeration.
-After all, money was a very good thing, and a very desirable thing, as
-Thomas Craik knew, better than most people. After all, too, Totty was
-his sister, his nearest relation, the only one of his connections with
-whom he had not quarrelled at one time or another. The world would think
-it very natural that she should have everything, and there was no reason
-why she should not, unless her anxiety to get it could be called one. He
-considered the case in all its bearings. If, for instance, that young
-fellow, George Wood, whom he had not seen since he had been a boy, were
-to be put in Totty’s place, what would he feel, and what would he do? He
-would undoubtedly wish that Tom Craik might die speedily, and his eyes
-would assuredly gleam when he thought of moving into the gorgeous house,
-a month after the funeral. That was only human nature, simple,
-unadorned, everyday human nature. But the boy supposed that he had no
-chance of getting anything, and did not even think it worth while to
-ring at the door and ask the news of his dying relation. Of course not;
-why should he? And yet, thought the sour old man, if George Wood could
-guess how near he was to being made a millionaire, how nimbly his feet
-would move in the appropriate direction, with what alacrity he would
-ring the bell, with what an accent of subdued sympathy he would question
-the servant! Truly, if by any chance he should take it into his head to
-make inquiries, there would be an instance of disinterested good
-feeling, indeed. He would never do that. Why then should the money be
-given to him rather than to Totty?
-
-But the idea had taken possession of the old man’s active brain, and
-would not be chased away. As he thought about it, too, it seemed as
-though he might die more easily if such full restitution were made. No
-one could tell anything about the future state of existence. Thomas
-Craik was no atheist, though he had never found time or inclination to
-look into the question of religion, and certain peculiarities in his
-past conduct had made any such meditations particularly distasteful to
-him. When once the end had come the money could be of no use to him, and
-if George Wood had it, Thomas Craik might stand a better chance in the
-next world. Totty had received her share of the gain, too, and had no
-claim to any more of it. He had managed her business with his own and
-had enriched her while enriching himself, with what had belonged to
-Jonah Wood, and to a great number of other people. At all events, if he
-left everything to George no one could accuse him hereafter—whatever
-that might mean—with not having done all he could to repair the wrong.
-He said to himself philosophically that one of two things must happen;
-either he was to die, and in that case he would do well to die with as
-clear a conscience as he could buy, or he was to recover, and would then
-have plenty of time to reflect upon his course without having deprived
-himself of what he liked.
-
-At last, between the two paths that were open to him, he became
-confused, and with characteristic coolness he determined to leave the
-matter to chance. If George Wood showed enough interest in him to come
-to the door and make inquiries, he would change his will. If the young
-fellow did not show himself, Totty should have the fortune.
-
-“That’s what I call giving Providence a perfectly fair chance,” he said
-to himself. A few hours after he had reached this conclusion George
-actually came to the house.
-
-Then Tom Craik hesitated no longer. The whole thing was done and
-conclusively settled without loss of time, as Craik had always loved to
-do business.
-
-It is probable that if George had guessed the importance of the simple
-act of asking after his relation’s condition, he would have gone home
-without passing the door, and would have spent so much time in
-reflecting upon his course, that it would have been too late to do
-anything in the matter. The problem would not have been an easy one to
-solve, involving, as it did, a question of honesty in motive on the one
-hand, and a consideration of true justice on the other. If any one had
-asked him for his advice in a similar case he would have answered with a
-dry laugh that a man should never neglect his opportunities, that no one
-would be injured by the transaction, and that the money belonged by
-right to the family of the man from whom it had been unjustly taken. But
-though George could affect a cynically practical business tone in
-talking of other people’s affairs he was not capable of acting upon such
-principles in his own case. To extract profit of any sort from what was
-nothing short of hypocrisy would have been impossible to him.
-
-He had been unable to resist the temptation of asking the news, because
-he sincerely hoped that the old man was about to draw his last breath,
-and because there seemed to him to be something attractively ironical in
-the action. He even expected that Mr. Craik would understand that the
-inquiry was made from motives of hatred rather than of sympathy, and
-imagined with pleasure that the thought might inflict a sting and
-embitter his last moments. There was nothing contrary to George’s
-feelings in that, though he would have flushed with shame at the idea
-that he was to be misunderstood and that what was intended for an insult
-was to be rewarded with a splendid fortune.
-
-Very possibly, too, there was a feeling of opposition concerned in his
-act, for which he himself could not have accounted. He was not fond of
-advice, and Constance Fearing had seemed very anxious that he should not
-do what he had done. Being still very young, it seemed absurd to him
-that a young girl whom he scarcely knew and had only seen twice should
-interfere with his free will.
-
-This contrariety was wholly unreasoning, and if he had tried to
-understand it, he would have failed in the attempt. He would certainly
-not have attributed it to the beginning of a serious affection, for he
-was not old enough to know how often love’s early growth is hidden by
-what we take wrongly for an antagonism of feeling.
-
-However all these things may be explained, George Wood felt that he was
-in a humour quite new to him, when he rang at Tom Craik’s door. He was
-elated without knowing why, and yet he was full of viciously combative
-instincts. His heart beat with a pleasant alacrity, and his mind was
-unusually clear. He would have said that he was happy, and yet his
-happiness was by no means of the kind which makes men at peace with
-their surroundings or gentle toward those with whom they have to do.
-There was something overbearing in it, that agreed with his natural
-temper and that found satisfaction in what was meant for an act of
-unkindness.
-
-He found his father reading before the fire. The old gentleman read, as
-he did everything else, with the air of a man who is performing a
-serious duty. He sat in a high-backed chair with wooden arms, his
-glasses carefully adjusted upon his nose, his head held high, his lips
-set in a look of determination, his long hands holding the heavy volume
-in the air before his sight and expressive in their solid grasp of a
-fixed and unalterable purpose. George paused on the threshold, wondering
-for the thousandth time that so much resolution of character as was
-visible in the least of his father’s actions, should have produced so
-little practical result in the struggles of a long life.
-
-“Won’t you shut that door, George?” said Jonah Wood, not looking away
-from his book nor moving a muscle.
-
-George did as he was requested and came slowly forward. He stood still
-for a moment before the fireplace, spreading his hands to the blaze.
-
-“Tom Craik is dying,” he said at last, looking at his father’s face.
-
-There was an almost imperceptible quiver in the strong hands that held
-the book. A very slight colour rose in the massive grey face. But that
-was all. The eyes remained fixed on the page, and the angle at which the
-volume was supported did not change.
-
-“Well,” said the mechanical voice, “we must all die some day.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-The world was very much surprised when it was informed that Thomas Craik
-was not dead after all. During several weeks he lay in the utmost
-danger, and it was little short of a miracle that he was kept alive—one
-of those miracles which are sometimes performed upon the rich by
-physicians in luck. While he was ill George, who was disappointed to
-find that there was so much life in his enemy, made frequent inquiries
-at the house, a fact of which Mr. Craik took note, setting it down to
-the young man’s credit. Nor did it escape the keen old man that his
-sister Totty’s expression grew less hopeful, as he himself grew better,
-and that her fits of spasmodic and effusive rejoicing over his recovery
-were succeeded by periods of abstraction during which she seemed to be
-gazing regretfully upon some slowly receding vision of happiness.
-
-Mrs. Sherrington Trimm was indeed not to be envied. In the first place
-all immediate prospect of inheriting her brother’s fortune was removed
-by his unexpected convalescence; and, secondly, she had a suspicion that
-in the midst of his illness he had made some change in the disposition
-of his wealth. It would be hard to say how this belief had formed itself
-in her mind, for her husband was a man of honour and had scrupulously
-obeyed Craik’s injunction to be silent in regard to the will. He found
-this the more easy, because what he liked least in his wife’s character
-was her love of money. Having only one child, he deemed his own and
-Totty’s fortunes more than sufficient, and he feared lest if she were
-suddenly enriched beyond her neighbours, she might launch into the
-career of a leader of society and take up a position very far from
-agreeable to his own more modest tastes. Sherry Trimm was an eminently
-sensible as well as an eminently honourable man. He possessed a very
-keen sense of the ridiculous, and he knew how easily a woman like Totty
-could be made the subject of ridicule, if she had her own way, and if
-she suddenly were placed in circumstances where the question of
-expenditure need never be taken into consideration. She had rarely lost
-an opportunity of telling him what she should do if she were enormously
-rich, and it was not hard to see that she confidently expected to
-possess such riches as would enable her to carry out what Sherry called
-her threats.
-
-On the other hand Mr. Trimm’s sense of honour was satisfied by his
-brother-in-law’s new will. There is a great deal more of that sort of
-manly, honourable feeling among Americans than is dreamed of in European
-philosophy. Europe calls us a nation of business men, but it generally
-forgets that we are not a nation of shopkeepers, and that if we esteem a
-merchant as highly as a soldier or a lawyer it is because we know by
-experience that the hands which handle money can be kept as clean as
-those that draw the sword or hold the pen. In strong races the man
-ennobles the occupation, the occupation does not degrade the man. If
-Thomas Craik was dishonest, Jonah Wood and Sherrington Trimm were both
-as upright gentlemen as any in the whole world. It was not in Jonah
-Wood’s power to recover what had been taken from him by operations that
-were only just within the pale of the law, because laws have not yet
-been made for such cases; nor was it Sherrington Trimm’s vocation to
-play upon Tom Craik’s conscience in the interests of semi-poetic
-justice. But Trimm was honourable enough and disinterested enough to
-rejoice at the prospect of seeing stolen money restored to its possessor
-instead of being emptied into his wife’s purse, and he was manly enough
-to have felt the same satisfaction in the act, if his own circumstances
-had been far less flourishing.
-
-But Totty thought very differently of all these things. She had in her
-much of her brother’s nature, and the love of money, which being
-interpreted into American means essentially the love of what money can
-give, dominated her character, and poisoned the pleasant qualities with
-which she was undoubtedly endowed. She had, as a natural concomitant,
-the keenest instinct about money and the quarter from which it was to be
-expected. Something was wrong in her financial atmosphere, and she felt
-the diminution of pressure as quickly and as certainly as a good
-barometer indicates the approaching south wind when the weather is still
-clear and bright. It was of no use to question her husband, and she knew
-her brother well enough to be aware that he would conceal his purpose to
-the last. But there was an element of anxiety and doubt in her life
-which she had not known before. Tom Craik saw that much in her face and
-suspected that it was the result of his recovery. He did not regret what
-he had done and he made up his mind to abide by it.
-
-Meanwhile George Wood varied the dreariness of his hardworking life by
-seeing as much as possible of the Fearings. He went to the house in
-Washington Square as often as he dared, and before long his visits had
-assumed a regularity which was noticeable, to say the least of it. If he
-had still felt any doubt as to what was passing in his own heart at the
-end of the first month, he felt none whatever as the spring advanced. He
-was in love with Constance, and he knew it. The young girl was aware of
-the fact also, as was her sister, who looked on with evident
-disapproval.
-
-“Why do you not send the man away?” Grace asked, one evening when they
-were alone.
-
-“Why should I?” inquired Constance, changing colour a little though her
-voice was quiet.
-
-“Because you are flirting with him, and no good can come of it,” Grace
-answered bluntly.
-
-“Flirting? I?” The elder girl raised her eyebrows in innocent surprise.
-The idea was evidently new to her, and by no means agreeable.
-
-“Yes, flirting. What else can you call it, I would like to know? He
-comes to see you—oh yes, you cannot deny it. It is certainly not for me.
-He knows I am engaged, and besides, I think he knows that I do not like
-him. Very well—he comes to see you, then. You receive him, you smile,
-you talk, you take an interest in everything he does—I heard you giving
-him advice the other day. Is not that flirting? He is in love with you,
-or pretends to be, which is the same thing, and you encourage him.”
-
-“Pretends to be? Why should he pretend?” Constance asked the questions
-rather dreamily, as though she had put them to herself before and more
-than half knew the answer. Grace laughed a little.
-
-“Because you are eminently worth while,” she replied. “Do you suppose
-that if you were as poor as he is, he would come so often?”
-
-“That is not very good-natured,” observed Constance, taking up her book
-again. There was very little surprise in her tone, however, and Grace
-was glad to note the fact. Her sister was less simple than she had
-supposed.
-
-“Good nature!” she exclaimed. “What has good nature to do with it? Do
-you think Mr. Wood comes here out of good nature? He wants to marry you,
-my dear. He cannot, and therefore you ought to send him away.”
-
-“If I loved him, I would marry him.”
-
-“But you do not. And, besides, the thing is absurd! A man with no
-position of any sort—none of any sort, I assure you—without fortune, and
-what is much worse, without any profession.”
-
-“Literature is a profession.”
-
-“Oh, literature—yes. Of course it is. But those miserable little
-criticisms he writes are not literature. Why does he not write a book,
-or even join a newspaper and be a journalist?”
-
-“Perhaps he will. I am always telling him that he should. And as for
-position, he is a gentleman, whether he chooses to go into society or
-not. His father was a New Englander, I believe—but I have heard poor
-papa say very nice things about him—and his mother was a Winton and a
-cousin of Mrs. Trimm’s. There is nothing better than that, I suppose.”
-
-“Yes—that odious Totty!” exclaimed Grace in a tone of unmeasured
-contempt. “She brought him here in the hope that one of us would take a
-fancy to him and help her poor relation out of his difficulties.
-Besides, she is the silliest, shallowest little woman I ever knew!”
-
-“I daresay. I am not fond of her. But you are unjust to Mr. Wood. He is
-very talented, and he works very hard——”
-
-“At what? At those wretched little paragraphs? I could write a dozen of
-them in an hour!”
-
-“I could not. One has to read the books first, you know.”
-
-“Well—say two hours, then. I am sure I could write a dozen in two hours.
-Such stuff, my dear! You are dazzled by his conversation. He does talk
-fairly well, when he pleases. I admit that.”
-
-“I am glad you leave him something,” said Constance. “As for my marrying
-him, that is a very different matter. I have not the slightest idea of
-doing that. To be quite honest, the idea has crossed my mind that he
-might wish it——”
-
-“And yet you let him come?”
-
-“Yes. I cannot tell him not to come here, and I like him too much to be
-unkind to him—to be cold and rude for the sake of sending him away. If
-he ever speaks of it, it will be time to tell him what I think. If he
-does not, it does him no harm—nor me either, as far as I can see.”
-
-“I do not know. It seems to me that to encourage a man and then drop him
-when he can hold his tongue no longer is the reverse of human kindness.”
-
-“And it seems to me, my dear, that you are beginning to argue from
-another side of the question. I did not understand that it was out of
-consideration for Mr. Wood——”
-
-“No, it was not,” Grace admitted with a laugh. “I am cruel enough to
-wish that you would be unkind to him without waiting for him to offer
-himself. You are a very inscrutable person, Conny! I wish I could find
-out what you really think.”
-
-Constance made no answer, but smiled gently at her sister as she took up
-her book for the second time. She began to read as though she did not
-care to continue the conversation, and Grace made no effort to renew it.
-She understood enough of Constance’s character to be sure that she could
-never understand it thoroughly, and she relinquished the attempt to
-ascertain the real state of things. If Constance had vouchsafed any
-reply, she would have said that she was in considerable perplexity
-concerning her own thoughts. For the present, however, her doubts gave
-her very little trouble. She possessed one of those calm characters
-which never force their owners to be in a hurry about a decision, and
-she was now, as always, quite willing to wait and see what course her
-inclinations would take.
-
-Calmness of this sort is often the result of an inborn distrust of
-motives in oneself and in others, combined with an almost total absence
-of impatience. The idea that it is in general better to wait than to
-act, gets the upper hand of the whole nature and keeps it, perhaps
-throughout life, perhaps only until some strong and disturbing passion
-breaks down the fabric of indolent prejudice which surrounds such minds.
-Constance had thought of most of the points which her sister had brought
-up against George Wood, and was not at all surprised to hear Grace speak
-as she had spoken. On the contrary she felt a sort of mental pride in
-having herself discerned all the objections which stood in the way of
-her loving George. None of them had appeared to be insurmountable,
-because none of them were in reality quite just. She was willing to
-admit that her fortune might be what most attracted him, but she had no
-proof of the fact, and having doubted him, she was quite as much
-inclined to doubt her own judgment of him. His social position was not
-satisfactory, as Grace had said, but she had come to the conclusion that
-this was due to his distaste for society, especially since she had heard
-many persons of her acquaintance express their regret that the two Woods
-could not forget old scores. His literary performances were assuredly
-not of the first order, and she felt an odd sort of shame for him, when
-she thought of the poor little paragraphs he turned out in the papers,
-and compared the work with his conversation. But George had often
-explained to her that he was obliged to write his notices in a certain
-way, and that he occupied his spare time in producing matter of a very
-different description. In fact there were answers to every one of
-Grace’s objections and Constance had already framed for herself the
-replies she was prepared to give her sister.
-
-Her principal difficulty lay in another direction. Was the very decided
-liking she felt for George Wood the beginning of love, or was it not?
-That it was not love at the present time she was convinced, for her
-instinct told her truly that if she had loved him, she could not have
-discussed him so calmly. What she defined as her liking was, however,
-already so pronounced that she could see no objection to allowing it to
-turn into something warmer and stronger if it would, provided she were
-able to convince herself of George’s sincerity. Her fortune was
-certainly in the way. What man in such circumstances, she asked herself,
-could be indifferent to the prospect of such a luxurious independence as
-was hers to confer upon him she married? She wished that some
-concatenation of events might deprive her of her wealth for a time long
-enough to admit of her trying the great experiment, on condition that it
-might be restored to her so soon as the question was decided in one way
-or the other. Nevertheless she believed that if she really loved him,
-she could forget to doubt the simplicity of his affection.
-
-George, on his part, was not less sensitive upon the same point. His
-hatred of all sordid considerations was such that he feared lest his
-intentions might be misinterpreted wherever there was a question of
-money. On the other hand, he was becoming aware that his intercourse
-with Constance Fearing could not continue much longer upon its present
-footing. There existed no pretext of relationship to justify the
-intimacy that had sprung out of his visits, and even in a society in
-which the greatest latitude is often allowed to young and marriageable
-women, his assiduity could not fail to attract attention. The fact that
-the two young girls had a companion in the person of an elderly lady
-distantly connected with them did not materially help matters. She was a
-faded, timid, retiring woman who was rarely seen, and who, indeed, took
-pains to keep herself out of the way when there were any visitors,
-fearing always to intrude where she might not be wanted. George had seen
-her once or twice but was convinced that she did not know him by sight.
-He knew, however, that his frequent visits had been the subject of
-remark among the young girls’ numerous acquaintance, for his cousin
-Totty had told him so with evident satisfaction, and he guessed from
-Grace’s behaviour, that she at least would be glad to see no more of
-him. What Grace had told her sister, however, was strictly true.
-Constance encouraged him. George was neither tactless nor fatuous, and
-if Constance had shown that his presence was distasteful to her, he
-would have kept away, and cured himself of his half-developed attachment
-as best he could.
-
-About this time an incident occurred which was destined to produce a
-very decided effect upon his life. One afternoon in May he was walking
-slowly down Fifth Avenue on his way to Washington Square when he
-suddenly found himself face to face with old Tom Craik, who was at that
-moment coming out of one of the clubs. The old man was not as erect as
-he had been before his illness, but he was much less broken down than
-George had supposed. His keen eyes still peered curiously into the face
-of every passer, and he still set down his stick with a sharp,
-determined rap at every step. Before George could avoid the meeting, as
-he would instinctively have done had there been time, he was conscious
-of being under his relation’s inquiring glance. He was not sure that the
-latter recognised him, but he knew that a recognition was possible.
-Under the circumstances he could not do less than greet his father’s
-enemy, who was doubtless aware of his many inquiries during the period
-of danger. George lifted his hat civilly and would have passed on, but
-the old gentleman stopped him, to his great surprise, and held out a
-thin hand, tightly encased in a straw-coloured glove—he permitted
-himself certain exaggerations of dress which somehow were not altogether
-incongruous in his case.
-
-“You are George Wood?” he asked. George was struck by the disagreeable
-nature of his voice and at the same time by the speaker’s evident
-intention to make it sound pleasantly.
-
-“Yes, Mr. Craik,” the young man answered, still somewhat confused by the
-suddenness of the meeting.
-
-“I am glad I have met you. It was kind of you to ask after me when I was
-down. I thank you. It showed a good heart.”
-
-Tom Craik was sincere, and George looked in vain for the trace of a
-sneer on the parchment that covered the worn features, and listened
-without detecting the least modulation of irony in the tones of the
-cracked voice. He felt a sharp sting of remorse in his heart. What he
-had meant for something very like an insult had been misunderstood, had
-been kindly received, and now he was to be thanked for it.
-
-“I hate you, and I asked because I wanted to be told that you were
-dead”—he could not say that, though the words were in his mind, and he
-could almost hear himself speaking them. A flush of shame rose to his
-face.
-
-“It seemed natural to inquire,” he said, after a moment’s hesitation. It
-had seemed very natural to him, as he remembered.
-
-“Did it? Well, I am glad it did, then. It would not have seemed so to
-every young man in your position. Good day—good day to you. Come and see
-me if you care to.”
-
-Again the thin gloved hand grasped his, and George was left alone on the
-pavement, listening to the sharp rap of the stick on the stones as the
-old man walked rapidly away. He stood still for a moment, and then went
-on down the Avenue. The dry regular rapping of that stick was peculiarly
-disagreeable and he seemed to hear it long after he was out of earshot.
-
-He was very much annoyed. More than that, he was sincerely distressed.
-Could he have guessed what had been the practical result of his
-inquiries during the illness, he would assuredly have even then turned
-and overtaken Tom Craik, and would have explained with savage frankness
-that he was no friend, but a bitter enemy who would have rejoiced to
-hear that death had followed and overtaken its victim. But since he
-could not dream of what had happened, it appeared to him that any
-explanation would be an act of perfectly gratuitous brutality. It was
-not likely that he should meet the old man often, and there would
-certainly be no necessity for any further exchange of civilities. He
-suffered all the more in his pride because he must henceforth accept the
-credit of having seemed kindly disposed.
-
-Then he remembered how, at his second meeting with Constance Fearing,
-she had earnestly advised him not to do what had led to the present
-situation. It would have been different had he known her as he knew her
-now, had he loved her as he undoubtedly loved her to-day. But as things
-had been then, he hardly blamed himself for having been roused to
-opposition by his strong dislike of advice.
-
-“I have received the reward of my iniquities,” he said, as he sat down
-in his accustomed seat and looked at her delicate face.
-
-“What has happened to you?” she asked, raising her eyes with evident
-interest.
-
-“Something very disagreeable. Do you like to hear confessions? And when
-you do, are you inclined to give absolution to your penitents?”
-
-“What is it! What do you want to tell me?” Her face expressed some
-uneasiness.
-
-“Do you remember, when I first came here—the second time, I should
-say—when Tom Craik was in such a bad way, and I hoped he would die? You
-know, I told you I would go and leave a card with inquiries, and you
-advised me not to. I went—in fact, I called several times.”
-
-“You never told me. Why should you? It was foolish of me, too. It was
-none of my business.”
-
-“I wish I had taken your advice. The old man got well again, but I have
-not seen him till to-day. Just now, as I walked here, he was coming out
-of his club, and I ran against him before I knew where I was. Do you
-know? He had taken my inquiries seriously. Thought I asked out of pure
-milk and water of human kindness, so to say—thanked me so nicely and
-asked me to go and see him! I felt like such a beast.”
-
-Constance laughed and for some reason or other the high, musical ring of
-her laughter did not give George as much satisfaction as usual.
-
-“What did you do?” she asked, a moment later.
-
-“I hardly know. I could not tell him to his face that he had not
-appreciated my peculiar style of humour, that I loathed him as I loathe
-the plague, and that I had called to know whether the undertaker was in
-the house. I believe I said something civil—contemptibly civil,
-considering the circumstances—and he left me in front of the club
-feeling as if I had eaten something I did not like. I wish you had been
-there to get me out of the scrape with some more good advice!”
-
-“I? Why should I——”
-
-“Because, after all, you got me into it, Miss Fearing,” George answered
-rather sadly. “So, perhaps, you would have known what to do this time.”
-
-“I got you into the scrape?” Constance looked as much distressed as
-though it were really all her fault.
-
-“Oh, no—I am not in earnest, exactly. Only, I have such an abominably
-contrary nature that I went to Tom Craik’s door just because you advised
-me not to—that is all. I had only seen you twice then—and——” he stopped
-and looked fixedly at the young girl’s face.
-
-“I knew I was wrong, even then,” Constance answered, with a faint blush.
-The colour was not the result of any present thought, nor of any
-suspicion of what George was about to say; it was due to her
-recollection of her conduct on that long remembered afternoon nearly
-four months earlier.
-
-“No. I ought to have known that you were right. If you were to give me
-advice now——”
-
-“I would rather not,” interrupted the young girl.
-
-“I would follow it, if you did,” said George, earnestly. “There is a
-great difference between that time and this.”
-
-“Is there?”
-
-“Yes. Do you not feel it?”
-
-“I know you better than I did.”
-
-“And I know you better—very much better.”
-
-“I am glad that makes you more ready to follow sensible advice——”
-
-“Your advice, Miss Fearing. I did not mean——”
-
-“Mine, then, if you like it better. But I shall never offer you any
-more. I have offered you too much already, and I am sorry for it.”
-
-“I would rather you gave me advice—than nothing,” said George in a lower
-voice.
-
-“What else should I give you?” Her voice had a ring of surprise in it.
-She seemed startled.
-
-“What you will never give, I am afraid—what I have little enough the
-right to ask.”
-
-Constance laid down the work she held, and looked out of the window.
-There was a strange expression in her face, as though she were wavering
-between fear and satisfaction.
-
-“Mr. Wood,” she said suddenly, “you are making love to me.”
-
-“I know I am. I mean to,” he answered, with an odd roughness, as the
-light flashed into his eyes. Then, all at once, his voice softened
-wonderfully. “I do it badly—forgive me—I never did it before. I should
-not be doing it now, if I could help myself—but I cannot. This once—this
-once only—Constance, I love you with all my heart.”
-
-He was timid, and women, whether old or young, do not like timidity. It
-was not that he lacked either force or courage by nature, nor any of
-those qualities whereby women are won. But the life he had led had kept
-him younger than he believed himself to be, and his solitary existence
-had given his ideal of Constance the opportunity of developing more
-quickly than the reality. He loved her, it is true, but as yet in a
-peaceful, unruffled way, which partook more of boundless admiration than
-of passion. An older man would have recognised the difference in
-himself. The girl’s finer perceptions were aware of it without
-comprehending it in the least. Nevertheless it was an immense
-satisfaction to George to speak out the words which in his heart had so
-long been written as a motto about the shrine of his imagination.
-
-Constance said nothing in answer, but rose, after a moment’s pause, and
-went and stood before the fireplace, now filled with ferns and plants,
-for the weather was already warm. She turned her back upon George and
-seemed to be looking at the things that stood on the chimney-piece.
-George rose, too, and came and stood beside her, trying to see her face.
-
-“Are you angry?” he asked softly. “Have I offended you?”
-
-“No, I am not angry,” she answered. “But—but—was there any use in saying
-it?”
-
-“You do not love me at all? You do not care whether I come or go?”
-
-She pitied him, for his disappointment was genuine, and she knew that he
-suffered something, though it might not be very much.
-
-“I do not know what love is,” she said thoughtfully. “Yes—I care. I like
-to see you—I am interested in what you do—I should be sorry never to see
-you again—but I do not feel—what is it one should feel, when one loves?”
-
-“Is there any one—any man—whom you like better than you like me?”
-
-“No,” she answered with some hesitation, “I do not think there is.”
-
-“And there is a chance that you may like me better still—that you may
-some day even love me?”
-
-“Perhaps. I cannot tell. I have not known you very long.”
-
-“It seems long to me—but you give me all I ask, more than I had a right
-to hope for. I thank you, with all my heart.”
-
-“There is little to thank me for. Do you think I mean more than I say?”
-She turned her head and looked calmly into his eyes. “Do you think I am
-promising anything?”
-
-“I would like to think so. But what could you promise me? You would not
-marry me, even if you loved me as I love you.”
-
-“You are wrong. If I loved you, I would marry you—if I were sure that
-your love was real, too. But it is not. I am sure it is not. You make
-yourself think you love me——”
-
-The young man’s dark face seemed to grow darker still as she watched it.
-There was passion in it now, but of a kind other than loving. His over
-sensitive nature had already taken offence.
-
-“Please do not go on, Miss Fearing,” he said, in a low voice that
-trembled angrily. “You have said enough already.”
-
-Constance drew back in extreme surprise, and looked as though she had
-misunderstood him.
-
-“Why—what have I said?” she asked.
-
-“You know what you meant. You are cruel and unjust.”
-
-There was a short pause, during which Constance seemed to be trying to
-grasp the situation, while George stood at the other end of the
-chimney-piece, staring at the pattern in the carpet. The girl’s first
-impulse was to leave the room, for his anger frightened and repelled
-her. But she was too sensible for that, and she thought she knew him too
-well to let such a scene pass without an explanation. She gathered all
-her courage and faced him again.
-
-“Mr. Wood,” she said with a firmness he had never seen in her, “I give
-you my word that I meant nothing in the least unkind. It is you who are
-doing me an injustice. I have a right to know what you understood from
-my words.”
-
-“What could you have meant?” he asked coldly. “You are, I believe, very
-rich. Every one knows that I am very poor. You say that I make myself
-think I love you——”
-
-“Good heavens!” cried Constance. “You do not mean to say that you
-thought that! But I never said it, I never meant it—I would not think
-it——”
-
-There was a little exaggeration in the last words. She had thought of
-it, and that recently, though not when she had spoken. It was enough,
-however. George believed her, and the cloud disappeared from his face.
-It was she who took his hand first, and the grasp was almost
-affectionate in its warmth.
-
-“You will never think that of me?” he asked earnestly.
-
-“Never—forgive me if any word of mine could have seemed to mean that I
-did.”
-
-“Thank you,” he answered. “It is only my own folly, of course, and I am
-the one to be forgiven. Things may be different some day.”
-
-“Yes,” assented Constance with a little hesitation, “some day.”
-
-A moment later George left the house, feeling as a soldier does who has
-been under fire for the first time.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-Not long after the events last chronicled, the Fearings left New York
-for the summer, and George was left to his own meditations, to the
-society of his father and to the stifling heat of the great city. He had
-seen Constance again more than once before she and her sister had left
-town, and he had parted from her on the best of terms. To tell the
-truth, since his sudden exhibition of violent temper, she had liked him
-even better than before. His genuine anger had to some extent dissipated
-the cloud of doubt which always seemed to her to hang about his motives.
-The doubt itself was not gone, for as it had a permanent cause in her
-own fortune it was of the sort not easily driven away.
-
-As for George himself, he considered himself engaged, of course in a
-highly conditional way, to marry Miss Constance Fearing. She had
-repeated, at his urgent solicitation, what she had said when he had
-first declared himself, to wit, that if she ever loved him she would
-marry him, and that there was no one whom she at present preferred to
-him. More than this, he could not obtain from her, and in his calm
-moments, which were still numerous, he admitted that she was perfectly
-fair and just in her answer. He, on his part, had declared with great
-emphasis that, however she might love him, he would not marry her until
-he was independent of all financial difficulties, and had made himself a
-name. On the whole, nothing could have seemed more improbable than that
-the marriage could ever take place. The distance between writing
-second-rate reviews at ten dollars a column, and being one of the few
-successful writers of the day is really almost as great as it looks to
-the merest outsider. Moreover, a friendship of several months’ standing
-is generally speaking a bad foundation on which to build hopes of love.
-The very intimacy of intercourse forbids those surprises in which love
-chiefly delights. Friendly hands have taken the bandage from his eyes,
-and he has learned to see his way about with remarkable acuteness of
-perception.
-
-Perhaps the most immediate and perceptible effect of the last few
-interviews with Constance was to be found in the work he turned out, and
-in the dissatisfaction it caused in quarters where it had formerly been
-considered excellent. It was beginning to be too good to serve its end,
-for the writer was beginning to feel that he could no longer efface his
-individuality and repress his own opinions as he had formerly done. He
-exceeded in his articles the prescribed length, he made vicious Latin
-quotations, and concocted savagely epigrammatic sentences, he inserted
-sharp remarks about prominent writers, where they were manifestly beside
-the purpose, besides being palpably unjust, there was a sting in almost
-every paragraph which did not contain a paradox, and, altogether, he
-made the literary editors who employed him very nervous.
-
-“It won’t do, Mr. Wood,” one of them said. “The publishers don’t like
-it. Several have written to me. The paper can’t stand this kind of
-thing. I suppose the fact is that you are getting too good for this
-work. Take my advice. Either go back to your old style, or write
-articles over your own name for the magazines. They like quotations and
-snap and fine writing—authors and publishers don’t, not a bit.”
-
-“I have tried articles again and again,” George answered. “I cannot get
-them printed anywhere.”
-
-“Well—you just go ahead and try again. You’ll get on if you stick to it.
-If you think you can write some of your old kind of notices, here’s a
-lot of books ready. But seriously, Mr. Wood, if you write any more like
-the last dozen or so, I can’t take them. I’m sorry, but I really can’t.”
-
-“I’ll have one more shot,” said George, desperately, as he took up the
-books. He could not afford to lose the wretched pay he got for the work.
-
-He soon saw that other managers of literary departments thought very
-much as this first specimen did.
-
-“A little more moderation, Mr. Wood,” said a second, who was an elderly
-æsthetic personage. “I hate violence in all its forms. It is so
-fatiguing.”
-
-“Very well,” said George submissively.
-
-He went to another, the only one whom he knew rather intimately, a pale,
-hardworking, energetic young fellow, who had got all manner of
-distinctions at English and German universities, who had a real critical
-talent, and who had risen quickly to his present position by his innate
-superiority over all competitors in his own line. George liked him and
-admired him. His pay was not brilliant, for he was not on one of the
-largest papers, but he managed to support his mother and two young
-sisters on his earnings.
-
-“Look here, Wood,” he said one morning, “this is not the way criticism
-is done. You are not a critic by nature. Some people are. I believe I
-am, and I always meant to be one. You do this sort of thing just as you
-would do any writing that did not interest you, and you do it fairly
-well, because you have had a good education, and you know a lot of
-things that ordinary people do not know. But it is not your strong
-point, and I do not believe it ever will be. Try something else. Write
-an article.”
-
-“That is what everybody tells me to do,” George answered. He was
-disappointed, for he believed that what he did was really good, and he
-had expected that the man with whom he was now speaking would have been
-the one of all others to appreciate his work. “That is what they all
-tell me,” he continued, “but they do not tell me how to get my articles
-accepted. Have you a recipe for that, Johnson?”
-
-The pale young man did not answer at once. He was extremely
-conscientious, which was one reason why he was a good critic.
-
-“I cannot promise much,” he said at last. “But I will tell you what I
-will do for you. If you will write an article, or a short story—say five
-to eight thousand words—I will read it and give you my honest opinion.
-If I like it, I’ll push it, and it may get into print. If I don’t, I’ll
-tell you so, and I’ll do nothing. You will have to try again. But I am
-convinced that you are naturally an author and not a critic.”
-
-“Thank you,” said George gratefully. He knew what the promise meant,
-from such a man as Johnson, who would have to sacrifice his time to the
-reading of the manuscript, and whose opinion was worth having.
-
-“Can you give me any work this week?” he asked, before he took his
-leave.
-
-Johnson looked at him quietly, as though making up his mind what to say.
-
-“I would rather not. You do not do it as well as you did, and I am
-responsible. If there is anything else I could do for you——” He stopped.
-
-“If you will be so kind as to read my article——”
-
-“Yes, of course. I said I would. I mean——” Johnson looked away, and his
-pale face blushed to the roots of his hair. “I mean—if you should need
-twenty dollars while the article is being written, I can——”
-
-George felt a very peculiar emotion, and his voice was a little thick,
-as he took the other’s hand.
-
-“Thank you, Johnson, but I don’t need it. You are awfully kind, though.
-Nobody ever did as much for me before.”
-
-When he left the room, the nervous flush had not yet disappeared from
-the literary editor’s forehead, nor had the odd sensation quite subsided
-from George’s own throat. If Tom Craik had offered him the loan of
-twenty dollars, he would have turned his back on him with a bitter
-answer. It was a very different matter when poor, overworked Johnson put
-his hand in his pocket and proffered all he could spare. For a minute
-George forgot all his disappointments and troubles in the gratitude he
-felt to the pale young man. Nor did he ever lose remembrance of the
-kindly generosity that had prompted the offer.
-
-But as he walked slowly homewards the bitterness of his heart began to
-show itself in another direction. He thought of the repeated admonitions
-and parcels of advice which had been thrust upon him during the last few
-days, he thought of his poverty, of his failures, and he compared all
-these facts with his aspirations. He, a poor devil who seemed to be
-losing the power to earn a miserable ten dollars with his pen, he, whose
-carefully prepared articles had been rejected again and again, often
-without a word of explanation, he, the unsuccessful scribbler of
-second-rate notices, had aspired, and did still aspire, not only to
-marry Constance Fearing, but to earn for himself such a position as
-should make him independent of her fortune, so far as money was
-concerned, and which, in the direction of personal reputation, should
-place him in the first rank in his own country. Wonderful things
-happened, sometimes, in the world of letters; but, so far as he knew,
-they needed a considerable time for their accomplishment. He was well
-advanced in his twenty-sixth year already, and it was madness to hope to
-achieve fame in less than ten years at the least. In ten years,
-Constance would be two and thirty. He had not thought of that before,
-and the idea filled him with dismay. It seemed a great age, an absurd
-age for marriage. And, after all, there was not the slightest
-probability of her waiting for him. In the first place, she did not love
-him, or, at least, she said that she did not, and if her affection was
-not strong enough to declare itself, it could hardly be taken into
-consideration as an element in the great problem. The whole thing was
-ridiculous, and he would give up the idea—if he could.
-
-But he could not. He recognised that the thought of Constance was the
-bright spot in his life, and that without her image he should lose half
-his energy. In the beginning, there had been a sort of complacent
-acquiescence in the growth of his love, which made it seem as though he
-had voluntarily set up an idol of his own choosing, which he could
-change at will. But the idol had begun to feed on his heart, and was
-already exerting its mysterious, dominating influence over his actions
-and beliefs. He began to concoct a philosophy of self-deception, in the
-hope of obtaining a good result. It seemed certain that he could never
-marry Constance—certain, at all events, while this mood lasted—but he
-could still dream of her and look forward to his union with her. The
-great day would come, of course, when she would marry some one else, and
-when he should doubtless be buried in the ruin of his dreams, but until
-then he would sustain the illusion.
-
-And what an illusion it was! The magnitude of it appalled him.
-Penniless, almost; dependent for his bread upon his ruined father;
-baffled at every turn; taught by experience that he had none of the
-power he seemed to feel—that was the list of his advantages, to be set
-in the balance against those possessed by Constance Fearing. George
-laughed bitterly to himself as he pursued his way through the crowded
-streets. It struck him that he must be a singularly unlucky man, and he
-wondered how men felt upon whom fortune smiled perpetually, who had
-never known what it meant to work hard to earn a dollar, to whom money
-seemed as common and necessary an element as air. He remembered indeed
-the time when, as a boy, he had known luxury, and existed in unbroken
-comfort, and the memory added a bitterness to his present case.
-Nevertheless he was not downhearted. Black as the world looked, he could
-look blacker, he fancied, and make the cheeks of fortune smart with the
-empty purse she had tossed in his face. His walk quickened, and his
-fingers itched for the pen. He was one of those men who harden and grow
-savage under defeat, reserving such luxuries as despondency for the
-hours of success.
-
-Without the slightest hesitation, he set to work. He scarcely knew how
-it was that he determined to write an article upon critics and
-criticism; but when he sat down to his table the idea was already
-present, and phrases of direful import were seething in the fire of his
-brain. All at once he realised how he hated the work he had been doing,
-how he loathed himself for doing it, how he detested those who had doled
-out to him his daily portion. What a royal satisfaction it was to “sling
-ink,” as the reporters called it! To heap his full-stocked thesaurus of
-abuse upon somebody and something, and most especially upon himself, in
-his capacity as one of the critics! To devote the whole profession to
-the perdition of an everlasting contempt, to hold it up as a target for
-the public wrath, to spit upon it, to stamp upon it, to tear it to rags,
-and to scatter the tatters abroad upon the tempest of his reprobation!
-The phrases ran like wildfire along the paper, as he warmed to his work,
-and dragged old-fashioned anathemas from the closets of his memory to
-swell the hailstorm of epithets that had fallen first. Anathema
-Maranatha! Damn criticism! Damn the critics! Damn everything!
-
-It was a very remarkable piece of work when it was finished, more
-remarkable in some ways than anything he ever produced afterwards, and
-if he had taken it to Johnson in its original form, the pale young man’s
-future career might have been endangered by a fit of sudden and
-immoderate mirth. Fortunately, George already knew the adage—is it not
-Hood’s?—which says “it is the print that tells the tale.” He was well
-aware that writing ink is to printers’ ink as a pencil drawing to a
-painted canvas, and that what looks mild and almost gentle when it
-appears in an irregular handwriting upon a sheet of foolscap can seem
-startlingly forcible when impressed upon perfectly new and very
-expensive paper, in perfectly new and very expensive type. He read the
-article over.
-
-“Perhaps it is a little strong,” he said to himself, with a grim smile,
-as he reviewed what he had written. “I feel a little like Wellington
-revisiting Waterloo!”
-
-Indeed, from the style of the discourse, one might have supposed that
-George had published a dozen volumes simultaneously, and that every
-critic in the civilised world had sprung up and rent him with one
-accord. “English Bards and Scotch Reviewers” was but milk and water,
-with very little milk, compared with his onslaught. The dead lay in
-heaps, as it were, in the track of his destroying charge, and he had
-hanged, drawn and quartered himself several times for his own
-satisfaction, gibbeting the quarters on every page. In his fury and
-unquenchable thirst for vengeance, he had quoted whole passages from
-notices he had written, only to tear them to pieces and make bonfires of
-their remains.
-
-“I think I had better wait a day or two,” he remarked, as he folded up
-the manuscript and put it into a drawer of his table.
-
-It is characteristic of the profession and its necessities, that, after
-having crushed and dismembered all critics, past, present and to come,
-in the most complete and satisfactory manner, George Wood laid his hand
-upon the new volumes which he had last brought home and proceeded during
-several days with the task of reviewing them. Moreover, he did the work
-much better than usual, taking an odd delight in affecting the attitude
-of a gentle taster, and in using the very language he most despised,
-just for the sake of persuading himself that he was right in despising
-it. The two editors who had given him work to do that week were
-surprised to find that he had returned with such success to his former
-style of writing. They were still further surprised when an article
-entitled “Cheap Criticism” appeared, about six weeks later, in a well
-known magazine, signed with his name in full. They did not like it all.
-
-George had recast the paper more than once, and at last, when he had
-regretfully “rinsed all the starch out of it,” as he said to himself, he
-had taken it to Johnson.
-
-“I did not know that any modern human being could use such violent
-language without swearing,” said the pale young man, catching a phrase
-here and there as he ran his eye over the manuscript.
-
-“Do you call that violent?” asked George, delighted to find that he had
-left his work more forcible than he had supposed. “I wish you could have
-seen the first copy! This looked like prayer and meditation compared
-with it.”
-
-“If you pray in that style,” remarked Johnson, “your prayers will be at
-least heard, if they are not answered. They will attract attention in
-some quarter, though perhaps not in the right one.”
-
-George’s face fell.
-
-“Do you think it is too red-hot?” he asked. “I have been spreading
-butter on the public nose so long,” he added, almost apologetically.
-
-“Oleomargarine,” suggested Johnson. “It is rather warm. That
-phrase—‘revelling in the contempt of appearing contemptible’—I say,
-Wood, that is not English, you know, and it’s a scorcher, too.”
-
-“Not English!” exclaimed George, whose blood was up at once. “Why not?”
-
-“Because it is Volapück, or Malay—or something else, I don’t know what
-it is, though I admit its force.”
-
-“I do not see how I can put it, then. It is just what we all feel.”
-
-“Look here. You do not mean that your victim despises himself for
-appearing to be despicable, do you? He does, I dare say, but you wanted
-to hit him, not to show that he is still capable of human feeling. I
-think you meant to say that he rejoiced in his own indifference to
-contempt.”
-
-“I believe I did,” said George, relinquishing the contest as soon as he
-saw he was wrong. “But ‘revel’ is not bad. Let that stand, at least.”
-
-“You cannot revel in indifference, can you?” asked Johnson pitilessly.
-
-“No. That is true. But it was English, all the same, though it did not
-mean what I intended.”
-
-“I think not. You would not say an author appears green, would you? You
-would say he appears to be green. Then why say that a critic appears
-contemptible?”
-
-“You are always right, Johnson,” George answered with a good-natured
-laugh. “I should have seen the mistake in the proof.”
-
-“But that is the most expensive way of seeing mistakes. I will read this
-carefully, and I will send you word to-morrow what I think of it.”
-
-“What makes you so quick at these things?” asked George, as he rose to
-go.
-
-“Habit. I read manuscript novels for a publishing house here. I do it in
-the evening, when I can find time. Yes—it is hard work, but it is
-interesting. I am both prophet and historian. The book is the reality
-which I see alternately from the point of view of the future and the
-past.”
-
-The result was that Johnson, who possessed much more real power than
-George had imagined, wrote a note, with which the manuscript was sent,
-and to George’s amazement the paper was at once accepted and put into
-type, and the proofs were sent to him. Moreover the number of the
-magazine in which his composition appeared was no sooner published than
-he received a cheque, of which the amount at once demonstrated the
-practical advantages of original writing as compared with those of
-second-rate criticism.
-
-With regard to the attention attracted by his article, however, George
-was bitterly disappointed. He was on the alert for the daily papers in
-which an account of the contents of the periodicals is generally given,
-and he expected at least a paragraph from each.
-
-In the first one he took up, after an elaborate notice of articles by
-known persons, he found the following line:—
-
-“Mr. George Winton Wood airs his views upon criticism in the present
-number.”
-
-That was all. There was not a remark, nor a hint at the contents of his
-paper, nothing to break the icy irony of the statement. He pondered long
-over the words, and then crammed the open sheet into the waste-paper
-basket. This was the first. There might be better in store for him. On
-the evening of the same day he found another.
-
-“An unknown writer has an article upon criticism,” said the oracle,
-without further comment.
-
-This was, if possible, worse. George felt inclined to write to the
-editor and request that his name might be mentioned. It was a peculiarly
-hard case, as he had reviewed books for this very paper during the last
-two years, and was well known in the office. The third remark was in one
-of those ghastly-spritely medleys written under the heading of
-“Chit-Chat.”
-
-“By the way,” inquired the reviewer, “who is Mr. George Winton Wood? And
-why is he so angry with the critics? And does anybody mind? And who is
-he, any way?”
-
-Half a dozen similar observations had the effect of cooling George’s
-hopes of fame very considerably. They probably did him good by
-eradicating a great deal of nonsense from his dreams. He had before
-imagined that in labouring at his book notices he had seen and known the
-dreariest apartment in the literary workhouse, forgetting that all he
-wrote appeared anonymously and that he himself was shielded behind the
-ægis of a prosperous newspaper’s name. He had not known that a beginner
-is generally received, to use a French simile, like a dog in a game of
-ninepins, with kicks and execrations, unless he is treated with the cold
-indifference which is harder to bear than any attack could be. And yet,
-cruel as the method seems, it is the best one in most cases, and saves
-the sufferer from far greater torments in the future. What would happen
-if every beginner in literature were received at the threshold with
-cakes and ale, and were welcomed by a chorus of approving and
-encouraging critics? The nine hundred out of every thousand who try the
-profession and fail, would fail almost as certainly a little later in
-their lives, and with infinitely greater damage to their sensibilities.
-Moreover the cakes and ale would have been unworthily wasted, and the
-chorus of critics would have been necessarily largely leavened with
-skilful liars, which, it is to be hoped and believed, is not the case in
-the present condition of criticism, in spite of George Wood and his
-opinions. Is it better that boys should be allowed to remain in school
-two or three years without being examined, and that the ignorant ones
-should then be put to shame before their comrades? Or is it better that
-the half-witted should be excluded from the first, and separately
-taught? The question answers itself. We who, rightly or wrongly, have
-fought our way into public notice, have all, at one time or another,
-been made to run the gauntlet of abuse, or to swim the dead sea of
-indifference. The public knows little of our lives. It remembers the
-first book of which everybody talked and which, it foolishly supposed,
-represented our first experiment in print. It knows nothing of the many
-years of thankless labour in the columns of the daily press, it has
-never heard of our first paper in a magazine, nor of our pride at seeing
-our signature in a periodical of some repute, nor of the sovereign
-contempt with which the article and the name were received. The
-comfortable public has never dreamed of the wretched prices most of us
-received when we entered the ranks, and, to be honest, there is no
-reason why it should. It would be quite as sensible to found a society
-for the purpose of condoling with school-boys during their examinations,
-as to excite the public sympathy on behalf of what one may call
-undergraduate authors. The weeding at the beginning keeps the garden
-clean and gay—and amputations must be performed in good time, if the
-gangrene is to be arrested effectually.
-
-George Wood, as has been said before, was not of the kind to be
-despondent, though he was easily roused to anger. The porcupine is an
-animal known to literature, as well as a beast of the field, and the
-quills of the literary porcupine can be very easily made to stand on
-end. George was one of the species and, on the whole, a very favourable
-specimen. Fortunately for those who had accorded so little appreciation
-to his early efforts, he was at that time imprisoned in the enclosure
-appropriated to unknown persons. He bristled unseen and wasted his wrath
-on the desert air. He had looked forward to the publication of his first
-article, as to an emancipation from slavery, whereas he soon discovered
-that he had only been advanced to a higher rank in servitude. That is
-what most men find out when they have looked forward to emancipation of
-any kind, and wake up to find that instead of being chained to one side
-of the wall, they are chained to the other.
-
-George supposed that it would now be an easier matter to get some of his
-former work into print. He had four or five things in very tolerable
-shape, resting in a drawer where he had put them when last rejected. He
-got them out again, and again began to send them to periodicals, without
-consulting his friend Johnson. To his surprise, they were all returned
-without comment.
-
-“Go and ask for a job,” said Johnson, the omniscient, when he heard of
-the failure. “Suggestion on the part of the editor is the better part of
-valour in the writer.”
-
-“What do you mean?” asked George. He had supposed that there was nothing
-he did not know in this connection.
-
-“They won’t take articles on general subjects without a deal of interest
-and urging,” answered the other. “Get introduced to them in person. I
-will do it with most of them. Then go to them and say, ‘I am a very
-remarkable young man, though you do not seem to know it. I will write
-anything about anything in the earth or under the earth. Sanskrit,
-botany and the differential calculus are my especially strong points,
-but the North Pole has great attractions for me, I am strong in theology
-and political economy, and, if anything, I would rather spend a year in
-writing up the Fiji Islands than not. If you have nothing in this line,
-there is music and high art, in which I am sound, I have a taste for
-architecture and I understand practical lobster-fishing. Have you
-anything for me to do?’ That is the way to talk to these men,” Johnson
-added with a smile. “Try it.”
-
-George laughed.
-
-“But that is not literature,” he objected.
-
-“Not literature? Everything that can be written about is literature,
-just as everything that can be eaten is man—in another form. You can
-learn as much English in writing up lobster-fishing, as in trying to
-compose a five-act tragedy, and you will be paid for it into the
-bargain. Besides, if you are ever going to write anything worth reading,
-you must see more and think less. Don’t read books for a while; read
-things and people. Thinking too much, without seeing, is like eating too
-much—it makes your writing bilious.”
-
-“This is the critic’s recipe for acquiring fame in letters!” exclaimed
-George.
-
-“Fame in letters is a sort of stuffed bugbear. You can frighten children
-with it, but it belongs to the days of witches and hobgoblins. The
-object of literature nowadays is to amuse without doing harm. If you do
-that well you will be famous and rich.”
-
-“You are utterly cynical to-day, Johnson. Are you in earnest in what you
-advise me to do?”
-
-“Perfectly. Try everything. Offer your services to write anything. Among
-all the magazines and weeklies there is sure to be one that is in
-difficulties because it cannot get some particular article written.
-Don’t be too quick to say you understand the subject, if you don’t. Say
-you will try it. A man may get up almost any subject in six weeks, and
-it is a good thing for the mind, once in a long time. Try everything, I
-say. Make a stir. Let these people see you—make them see you, if they
-don’t want to. It is not time lost. You can use them all in your books
-some day. There is an age when it is better to wear out shoe-leather
-than pens—when the sweat of the brow is worth a dozen bottles of ink.
-Don’t sit over your desk yelping your discontent, while your real brain
-is rusting. Confound it all! It is the will that does it, the stir, the
-energy, the beating at other people’s doors, grinding up their stairs,
-making them feel that they must not lose the chance of using a man who
-can do so much, making them ashamed to send you away. Do you think I got
-to be where I am without a rough and tumble fight at the first? Take
-everything that comes into your way, do it as well as you know how, with
-all your might, and keep up a constant howl for more. They will respect
-you in spite of themselves.”
-
-The pale young man’s steel-blue eyes flashed, the purple veins stood out
-on his white clenched hands and there was a smile of triumph in his face
-and a ring of victory in his voice. He had fought them all and had got
-what he wanted, by talent, by industry, but above all by his restless
-and untiring energy, and he was proud of it.
-
-To George Wood, in his poverty, it seemed very little, after all, to be
-the literary editor of a daily paper. That was not the position he must
-win, if he would marry Constance Fearing.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-The summer passed quickly away without bringing any new element into
-George’s life. He did not reject Johnson’s advice, but he did not follow
-it to the letter. His instinct was against the method suggested by his
-friend, and he felt that he had not the assurance to follow it out. He
-was too sensitive and proud to employ his courage in besieging persons
-who did not want him. Nevertheless he found work to do, and his position
-was improved, though his writings still failed to attract any attention.
-He had imagined that there was but a step from the composition of
-magazine articles to the making of a book, but he soon discovered the
-fallacy of the idea, and almost regretted the old days of
-“book-tasting.”
-
-Meanwhile, his thoughts dwelt much on Constance, and he adorned the
-temple of his idol with everything upon which, figuratively speaking, he
-could lay his hands. Strange to say, her absence during the summer was a
-relief to him. It made the weakness of his position and the futility of
-his hopes seem less apparent, and it gave him time to make at least a
-step in the direction of success. He wrote to her, as often as he dared,
-and twice in the course of the summer she answered with short letters
-that had in his eyes a suspicious savour of kindness rather than of
-anything even distantly approaching to affection. Nevertheless those
-were great days in his calendar on which these missives came. The notes
-were read over every morning and evening until Constance returned, and
-were put in a place of safety during the day and night.
-
-George looked forward with the greatest anxiety to Miss Fearing’s
-return. He had long felt that her sister’s antagonism was one of the
-numerous and apparently insurmountable obstacles that barred his path,
-and he dreaded lest Grace’s influence should, in the course of the long
-summer, so work upon Constance’s mind as to break the slender thread
-that bound her to him. As regards Grace’s intention he was by no means
-wrong. She lost no opportunity of explaining to Constance that her
-friendship for George Wood was little short of ridiculous, that the man
-knew he had no future and was in pursuit of nothing but money, that his
-writings showed that he belonged to the poorest class of amateurs, that
-men who were to succeed were always heard of from boyhood, at school, at
-college and in their first efforts and that Constance was allowing her
-good nature to get the better of her common-sense in encouraging such a
-fellow. In short there was very little that Grace left unsaid. But
-though George had foreseen all this, as Grace, on her part, had
-determined beforehand upon her course of action during the summer,
-neither Grace nor George had understood the effect that such talk would
-produce upon her whom it was meant to influence. There was in
-Constance’s apparently gentle nature an element of quiet resistance
-which, in reality, it was not hard to rouse. Like many very good and
-very conscientious people, she detested advice and abominated
-interference, even on the part of those she loved best. Her attachment
-for her sister was sincere in its way, though not very strong, and it
-did not extend to a blind respect for Grace’s opinions. Grace could be
-wrong, like other people, and Grace was hasty and hot-tempered,
-prejudiced and not free from a certain sort of false pride. These were
-assuredly not the defects of Constance’s character, at least in her own
-opinion.
-
-Her opposition was aroused and she began to show it. Indeed, her two
-letters to George were both written immediately after conversations had
-taken place in which Grace had spoken of him with more than usual
-bitterness. She felt as though she owed him some reparation for the
-ill-treatment he got at her sister’s hands, and this accounted in part
-for the flavour of kindness which George detected in her words. The
-situation was further strained by the arrival of one of the periodicals
-which contained an article by him. The sisters both read it, and
-Constance was pleased with it. In an indirect way, too, she felt
-flattered, for it looked as though George were beginning to follow her
-advice.
-
-“It is trash,” said Grace authoritatively, as she threw the magazine
-aside.
-
-Constance allowed a full minute to elapse before she answered, during
-which she seemed to be intently watching the sail of a boat that was
-slowly working its way up the river. The two girls had paused between
-one visit and another to rest themselves in a place they owned upon the
-Hudson. The weather was intensely hot, and it was towards evening.
-
-“It is not trash,” said Constance quietly. “You are quite mistaken. You
-are completely blinded by your prejudice.”
-
-Grace was very much surprised, for it was unlike Constance to turn upon
-her in such a way.
-
-“I think it is trash for two reasons,” she said, with a short laugh.
-“First, because my judgment tells me it is, and secondly because I know
-that George Wood could not possibly write anything else.”
-
-“You can hardly deny that you are prejudiced after that speech. Do you
-know what you will do, if you go on in this way? You will make me fall
-in love with Mr. Wood and marry him, out of sheer contrariety.”
-
-“Oh no!” laughed Grace. “You would not marry him. At the last minute you
-would throw him over, and then he would bring an action against you for
-breach of promise with a view to the damages.”
-
-Constance suddenly grew very pale. She turned from the window where she
-was standing, crossed the small room and stood still before her sister.
-
-“Do you mean that?” she asked very coldly.
-
-Grace was frightened, for the first time in her life, but she did her
-best to hide it.
-
-“What difference does it make to you, whether I mean it or not?” she
-inquired with a rather scornful smile.
-
-“This difference—that if you think such things, you and I may as well
-part company before we quarrel any further.”
-
-“Ah—you love him, then? I did not know.” Grace laughed nervously.
-
-“I do not love him, but if I did I should not be ashamed to say so to
-you or to the whole world. But I like him very, very much, and I will
-not hear him talked of as you talk of him. Do you understand?”
-
-“Perfectly. Nothing could be clearer,” said Grace with a contemptuous
-curl of the lip.
-
-“Then I hope you will remember,” Constance answered.
-
-Grace did remember. Indeed, for some time she could think of nothing
-else. It seemed clear enough to her that something more than friendship
-was needed to account for the emotion she had seen in her sister’s face.
-It was the first time in her recollection, too, that Constance had ever
-been really angry, and Grace was not inclined to rouse her anger a
-second time. She changed her tactics and ignored George Wood altogether,
-never mentioning him nor reading anything that he sent to Constance. But
-this mode of treating the question proved unsatisfactory, for it was
-clear that Wood wrote often, and there was nothing to prove that
-Constance did not answer all his letters. Fortunately the two sisters
-were rarely alone together during the rest of the summer, and their
-opportunities of disagreeing were not numerous. They were not in reality
-as fond of each other as the world thought, or as they appeared to be.
-Their natures were too different, and at the same time the difference
-was not of that kind in which each character seems to fill a want in the
-other. On the contrary the points in which they were unlike were
-precisely those which most irritated the other’s sensibilities. They had
-never before quarrelled nor been so near to a quarrel as they were in
-the course of the conversation just recorded, but they were in reality
-very far from being harmonious.
-
-The devoted affection of their mother had kept them together while she
-had lived, and, to some extent, had survived her, the memory of her
-still exercising a strong influence over both. Constance, too, was
-naturally very pacific, and rarely resented anything Grace said, in jest
-or in earnest. Grace was often annoyed by what she called her sister’s
-sweetness, and it was that very quality which prevented the other from
-retaliating. She had now shown that she could turn, and fiercely, if
-once aroused, and Grace respected her the more for having shown that she
-had a temper.
-
-Enough has been said to show that George’s fear that Constance would
-think less well of him through Grace’s influence, was without
-foundation. She even went so far as to send for him as soon as she
-returned to New York in the autumn. It was a strange meeting, for there
-was constraint on both sides, and at the same time each felt the
-necessity of showing the other that no change had taken place for the
-worse in their mutual relations.
-
-Constance was surprised to find how very favourably George Wood compared
-with the men she had seen during the summer—men all more or less alike
-in her eyes, but nevertheless representing in her imagination the
-general type of what the gentleman is supposed to be, the type of the
-man of her own class, the mate of her own species. Grace had talked so
-much, in the early part of the season, of George’s inferior social
-position, of his awkward manner, and, generally, of his defects, that
-Constance had almost feared to find that she had been deceived at first
-and that there was a little truth in her sister’s words. One glance, one
-phrase of his, sufficed to set her mind at rest. He might have
-peculiarities, but they were not apparent in his way of dressing, of
-entering a room or of pronouncing the English language. He was
-emphatically what he ought to be, and she felt a keen pleasure in taking
-up her intercourse with him at the point where it had been interrupted
-more than four months earlier.
-
-And now the exigencies of this history require that we should pass
-rapidly over the period that followed. It was an uneventful time for all
-concerned. George Wood worked with all his might and produced some very
-creditable papers on a variety of subjects, gradually attracting a
-certain amount of notice to himself, and advancing, as he supposed, as
-fast as was possible in his career. Success, of the kind he craved,
-still seemed very far away in the dim future, though there were not
-wanting those who believed that he might not wait long for it. Foremost
-among those was Constance Fearing. To her there was a vast difference
-between the anonymous scribbler of small notices whom she had known a
-year ago, and the promising young writer who appeared to her to have a
-reputation already, because most of her friends now knew who he was, had
-read one or more of his articles and were glad to meet him when occasion
-offered. She felt indeed that he had not yet found out his best talent,
-but her instinct told her that the time could not be very distant when
-it would break out of its own impulse and surprise the world by its
-brilliancy. That he actually possessed great and rare gifts she no
-longer doubted.
-
-Next to Constance, the Sherrington Trimms were the loudest in their
-praise of George’s doings. Totty could talk of nothing else when she
-came to the house in Washington Square, and her husband never failed to
-read everything George wrote, and to pat him on the back after each
-fresh effort. Even George’s father began to relent and to believe that
-there might be something in literature after all. But he showed very
-little enthusiasm until, one day, an old acquaintance with whom he had
-not spoken for years, crossed the street and shook hands with him,
-congratulated him upon his boy’s “doing so well.” Then Jonah Wood felt
-that the load of anxiety he had borne for so many years was suddenly
-lifted from his shoulders. People thought his boy was “doing well”! He
-had not hoped to be told that spontaneously by any one for years to
-come. The dreary look began to fade out of his grey face, giving way to
-something that looked very like happiness.
-
-George himself was the least appreciative of his own success. Even
-Johnson, who was sparing of praise in general, wrote occasional notes in
-his paper expressive of his satisfaction at his friend’s work and
-generally containing some bit of delicate criticism or learned reference
-that lent them weight and caused them to be reprinted into other
-newspapers.
-
-So the winter came and went again and the month of May came round once
-more. George was with Constance one afternoon almost exactly a year from
-the day on which he had first told her of his love. Their relations had
-been very peaceful and pleasant of late, though George was not so often
-alone with her as in former times. The period of mourning for the girls’
-mother was past and many people came to the house. George himself had
-gradually made numerous acquaintances and led a more social life than
-formerly, finding interest, as Johnson had predicted, in watching people
-instead of poring over books. He was asked to dinner by many persons who
-had known his father and were anxious to make amends for having judged
-him unjustly, and when they had once received him into their houses,
-they liked him and did what they could to show it. Moreover he was
-modest and reticent in regard to himself and talked well of current
-topics. Insensibly he had begun to acquire social popularity and to
-forget much of his boyish cynicism. He fancied that he went into society
-merely because it sometimes gave him an opportunity of meeting
-Constance, but he was too natural and young not to like it for itself.
-
-“Shall we not go out?” he asked, when he found her alone in the
-drawing-room.
-
-Constance looked up and smiled, as though she understood his thought. He
-was afraid that Grace would enter the room and spoil his visit, as had
-happened more than once, and Constance feared the same thing. Neither
-had ever said as much to the other, but there was a tacit understanding
-between them, and their intimacy had developed so far that Constance
-made no secret of wishing to be alone with him when he came to the
-house. She smiled in spite of herself and George smiled in return.
-
-“Yes. We can take a turn in the Square,” she said. “It will be—cooler,
-you know.” A soft laugh seemed to explain the hesitation, and George
-felt very happy.
-
-A few minutes later they were walking side by side under the great
-trees. Instinctively they kept away from the Fearings’ house—Grace might
-chance to be at the window.
-
-“It was almost a year ago,” said George, suddenly.
-
-“What?”
-
-“That I told you I loved you. You think differently of me now, do you
-not?”
-
-“A little differently, perhaps,” Constance answered. Then, feeling that
-she was blushing, she turned her face away and spoke rapidly. “Yes and
-no. I think more of you—that is to say, I think better of you. You have
-done so much in this year. I begin to see that you are more energetic
-than I fancied you were.”
-
-“Does it seem to you as though what I have done has brought us any
-nearer together, you and me?”
-
-“Nearer? Perhaps. I do not quite see how you mean.” The blush had
-disappeared, and she looked puzzled.
-
-“I mean because I have begun—only begun—to make something like a
-position for myself. If I succeed I hope we shall seem nearer yet—nearer
-and nearer, till there shall be no parting at all.”
-
-“I think you mistake a letter in the word—you talk as though you meant
-dearer, more than nearer—do you not?” Constance laughed, and blushed
-again.
-
-“If I said that you were making love to me—to-day, as you said a year
-ago—would you answer that you meant it—as I did?”
-
-“What impertinence!” exclaimed Constance still laughing lightly.
-
-“No—but would you?”
-
-“I cannot tell what I should do, if you said anything so outrageous!”
-
-“I love you. Is that outrageous and impertinent?”
-
-“N—o. You say it very nicely—almost too nicely. I am afraid you have
-said it before.”
-
-“Often, though I cannot expect you to remember the exact number of
-repetitions. How would you say it—if you were obliged to say it? I have
-a good ear for a tune. I could learn your music.”
-
-“Could you?” Constance hesitated while they paused in their walk and
-George looked into her eyes.
-
-She saw something there that had not been present when he had first
-spoken, a year ago. He had seemed cold then, even to her inexperience.
-Now there was both passion and tenderness in his look, and there was
-sadness in his face.
-
-“You do love me now,” she said softly. “I can see it.”
-
-“And you, dear—will you not say the little words?”
-
-Again she hesitated. Then she put out her hand and touched his very
-gently. “I hate you, sir,” she said. But she pronounced the syllables
-with infinite softness and delicacy, and the music of her voice could
-not have been more sweet if she had said “I love you, dear.” Then she
-laughed again.
-
-“I could hear you say that very often, without being hurt,” said George
-tenderly.
-
-“I only wanted to show you how I should say those other words—if I
-would,” she answered.
-
-“Is that all? Well—if there is a just proportion between your hatred and
-your love and your way of expressing them, your love must be——” he
-stopped.
-
-“Must be what?”
-
-“As great as mine. I cannot find anything stronger than that to say—nor
-could you, if you knew.”
-
-“So you love me, then. I wonder how long it will last? When did it
-begin?”
-
-“The second time I saw you.”
-
-“Love at second sight! How romantic—so much more original than at first
-sight, and so much more natural. No—you must not take my hand—there are
-people over there—and besides, there is no reason why you should. I told
-you I hated you. There—walk like a sensible being and talk about your
-work!”
-
-“You are a strange creature, Constance.”
-
-“Am I? Why do you call me Constance? I do not call you George—indeed I
-do not like the name at all.”
-
-“Nor I, if you do not—you can call me Constantine if you like. That name
-would be more like yours.”
-
-“I do not like my own. It makes me think of the odiously good little
-girls in story books. Besides, what is it? Why am I called Constance? Is
-it for the town in Switzerland? I was never there. Is it for the virtue
-I least possess?”
-
-“As your sister is called Grace,” suggested George.
-
-“Hush! Grace is a very graceful girl. Take it in that way, and leave her
-alone. Am I the English for Constantia? Come, give me an explanation!
-Talk! Say something! You are leaving the burden of the conversation to
-me, and then you are not even listening!”
-
-“I was thinking of you—I always am. What shall I talk about? You are the
-only subject on which I could be at all eloquent.”
-
-“You might talk about yourself, for a change,” suggested Constance.
-
-“But you say you hate me, so that you would not find an account of me
-agreeable, would you?”
-
-“I think my hatred could be made very accommodating, if you would talk
-pleasantly—even about yourself.”
-
-“I would rather make love to you than talk.”
-
-“I have no doubt you would, but that is just what I do not want you to
-do. Besides, you have done it before—without any result.”
-
-“That is no reason for not trying again, is it?”
-
-“Why try it at all?”
-
-“Love is its own reason,” said George, “and it is the reason for most
-other things as well. I love you and I am not in search of reasons. I
-love you very, very much, with all my heart—so much that I do not know
-how to say it. My life is full of you. You are everywhere. You are
-always with me. In everything I have done since I have known you I have
-thought of you. I have asked myself whether this would please you,
-whether that would bring a smile to your dear face, whether these words
-or those would speak to your heart and be sweet to you. You are
-everything the world holds for me, the sun that shines, the air I
-breathe. Without the thought of you I could neither think nor work. If a
-man can grow great by the thought of woman’s love, you can make me one
-of the greatest—if men die of broken hearts you can kill me—you are
-everything to me—life, breath and happiness.”
-
-Constance was silent. He spoke passionately, and there was an accent of
-truth in his low, vibrating voice, that went to her heart. For one
-moment she almost felt that she loved him in return, as she had often
-dreamed of loving. That he was even now more to her than any living
-being, she knew already.
-
-“You like me,” he said presently. “You like me, you are fond of me, you
-have often told me that I am your best friend, the one of whom you think
-most. You let me come when I will, you let me say all that is in my
-heart to say, you let me tell you that I love you——”
-
-“It is very sweet to hear,” said Constance softly.
-
-“And it is sweet to say as well—dearest. Ah, Constance, say it once, say
-that it is more than friendship, more than liking, more than fondness
-that you feel. What can it cost you to say it?”
-
-“Would it make you very happy?”
-
-“It would make this world heaven.”
-
-Constance stopped in her walk, drew back a little from his side, and
-looked at him.
-
-“I will say it,” she said quietly. “I love you—yes, I do. No—do not
-start—it is not much to hear, you must not be too hopeful. I will tell
-you the truth—so, as we stand—no nearer. It is not friendship nor
-fondness, nor mere liking. It is love, but it is not what it should be.
-Do you know why I tell you? Because I care too much for your respect to
-let you think I am a miserable flirt, to let you think that I am
-encouraging you and drawing you on, without having the least heart in
-the matter. You must think me very conscientious. Perhaps I am. Yes, I
-have encouraged you, I have drawn you on, because I like to hear you say
-what you so often say of late, that you love me. It is very sweet to
-hear, as I told you just now. And, do you know? I wish I could say the
-same things to you, and feel them. But I do not love you enough, I am
-not sure of my love, it is greater to-day and less to-morrow, and I will
-not give you little where you give me so much. You know my secret now.
-You may hope, if you will. I am not deceiving you. I may love you more
-and more, and the day when I feel that it is all strong and true and
-whole and sound and unchangeable I will marry you. But I will not
-promise. I will not run the risk so long as I feel that my love may turn
-again into friendship next week—or next year. Do you see? Have you
-understood me? Is it all clear now?”
-
-“I understand your words, dear, but not your heart. I thank you——”
-
-“No. Do not thank me. Come, let us walk on, slowly. Do you know that it
-has been the same with you, though you will not admit it? You did not
-love me a year ago, as you do now, did you?”
-
-“No. That was impossible. I love you more and more every day, every
-week, every month.”
-
-“A year ago it would have been quite possible for you to have forgotten
-me and loved some other woman. You did not look at me as you do now.
-Your voice had not the same ring in it.”
-
-“I daresay not—I have changed. I can feel it.”
-
-“Yes, and it is because I have watched you changing in one way, that I
-am afraid I may change in the other.”
-
-George was very much surprised and at the same time was made very happy
-by what she had told him. He had indeed suspected the truth, and it was
-not enough to have heard her say the words “I love you” in the calm and
-reasoning tone she had used. But on the other hand, there was something
-brilliantly honest about her confession, that filled him with hope and
-delight. If a woman so true once loved with all her heart, she would
-love longer and better and more truly than other women can. So at least
-thought George Wood, as he walked by her side beneath the trees in
-Washington Square, and glanced from time to time at her lovely blushing
-face.
-
-“I thank you, dear, with all my heart,” he said after a long pause.
-
-“There is little enough to thank me for. It seems to me that I could not
-have done less. Would it have been honest and right to let things go on
-as they were going without an explanation?”
-
-“Perhaps not. But most women would have done nothing. I understand you
-better now, I think—if a man can ever understand a woman at all.”
-
-“I do not understand myself,” Constance answered thoughtfully. “Promise
-me one thing,” she added, looking up quickly into his face.
-
-“Anything in the world,” he said.
-
-“Anything? Then promise me that what I have said to-day shall make no
-difference in the way we meet, and that you will behave just as you did
-before.”
-
-“Indeed I will. What difference could it make? I do not see.”
-
-“Well, it might. Remember that we are not engaged to be married——”
-
-“Oh, that? Of course not. I am engaged to you, but you are not engaged
-to me. Is that it?”
-
-“Better not think of any engagement at all. It can do no good. Love me
-if you will, but do not consider yourself bound.”
-
-“If you will tell me how I can love you without feeling bound to you,
-perhaps I will try and obey your commands. It must be a very complicated
-thing.” George laughed happily.
-
-“Well, do as you will,” said Constance. “Only be honest with me, as I
-have been with you. If a time comes when you feel that you love me less,
-tell me so frankly, and let there be an end. Will you?”
-
-“Yes. I am not afraid. The day will never come.”
-
-“Never is thought to be an old-fashioned word, I believe—like always.
-Will you do something else to please me—something to pay me for my
-honesty?”
-
-“Anything—everything.”
-
-“Write a book, then. It is time you did it.”
-
-George did not answer at once. There was nothing which he really wished
-more to accomplish than what Constance asked of him, and yet, in spite
-of years of literary work and endless preparation, there was nothing for
-which he really felt himself less fitted. He was conscious that
-fragments of novels were constantly floating through his brain and that
-scenes formed themselves and conversations arranged themselves
-spontaneously in his mind when he least expected it; but everything was
-vague and unsettled, he had neither plot nor plan, neither the persons
-of the drama nor the scene of their action, neither beginning nor
-continuation, nor end. To promise to write a book now, this very year,
-seemed like madness. And yet he was beginning to fear lest he should put
-off the task until it should be too late. He was in his twenty-seventh
-year, and in his own estimation was approaching perilously near to
-thirty.
-
-“Why do you ask me to do it now?” he inquired.
-
-“Because it is time, and because if you go on much longer with these
-short things you will never do anything else.”
-
-“I only do it as a preparation, as a step. Honestly, I do not feel that
-I know enough to write a good book, and I should be sorry to write a bad
-one.”
-
-“Never mind. Make a beginning. It can do no harm to try. You have
-written a great deal lately and you can leave the magazines alone for a
-while. Shall I tell you what I would like?”
-
-“Yes—what?”
-
-“I would like you to write your book and bring the chapters as you write
-them, and read them to me one by one.”
-
-“Would you really like that?”
-
-“Indeed I would.”
-
-“Then I will do it. I mean that I will try, for I am sure I cannot
-succeed. But—you did not think of that—where can we read without being
-interrupted? I do not propose to give your sister the benefit——”
-
-“In Central Park—on fine days. There are quiet places there.”
-
-“Will you go there with me alone?” George asked in some surprise.
-
-“Yes. Why not? Have I not told you that I love you—a little?”
-
-“I bless you for it, dear,” said George.
-
-And so they parted.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-George felt like a man who has committed himself to take part in some
-public competition although not properly prepared for the contest, and
-during the night that succeeded his last meeting with Constance he slept
-little. He had promised to write a book. That was bad enough,
-considering that he felt so little fitted for the task. But, at least,
-if he had undertaken to finish the work, revise it and polish it and
-eliminate all the errors he could discover before bringing it to Miss
-Fearing in its final shape, he could have comforted himself with the
-thought that the first follies he committed would be known only to
-himself. He had promised, however, to read the chapters to Constance as
-he wrote them, one by one, and the thought filled him with dismay. The
-charming prospect of numberless meetings with her was marred by the fear
-of being ridiculous in her eyes. It was for her alone that the book was
-to be written. It would be a failure and he would not even attempt to
-publish it, but the certainty that the public would not witness his
-discomfiture brought no consolation with it. Better a thousand times to
-be laughed at by the critics than to see a pained look of disappointment
-in Constance’s eyes. Nevertheless he considered his promise sacred, and,
-after all, it was Constance who had driven him to make it. He had
-protested his incapacity as well as he could. She would see that he had
-been right and would acknowledge the wisdom of waiting a little longer
-before making the great attempt.
-
-At first, he felt as though he were in a nightmare, in a dim labyrinth
-from which he had pledged himself to find an escape in a given time. His
-nerves, for the first time in his life, played him false. He grew
-suddenly hot, and then as suddenly cold again. Attempting to fix his
-imagination, monstrous faces presented themselves before his eyes in the
-dark, and he heard fragments of conversation in which there were long
-sentences that meant nothing. He lit a candle and sat up in bed,
-clasping his forehead with his long, smooth fingers, and beginning to
-feel that he knew what despair really meant.
-
-This then was the result of years of preparation, of patient practice
-with the pen, of thoughtful reading and careful study. He had always
-felt that he lacked the imagination necessary for producing a novel, and
-now he felt sure of it. Johnson had told him that he was no critic, and
-he had believed Johnson, because Johnson was himself the best critic he
-knew. What then was he? A writer of short papers and articles. Yes, he
-could do that. How easily now, at this very moment, could he think of
-half a dozen subjects for such work, and how neatly he could put them
-into shape, develop them in a certain number of pages and polish them to
-the proper degree of brilliancy!
-
-The morning dawned and found him still searching and beating his brain
-for a subject. As the light increased he felt more and more nervous. It
-was not in his nature to put off the beginning upon which he had
-determined, and he knew that on that day he must write the first words
-of his first book, or forfeit his self-respect for ever. There was an
-eminently comic side to the situation, but he could not see it. His
-dread of being ridiculous in the eyes of the woman he loved was great
-enough to keep him from contemplating the absurdity of his case. His
-sensations became intolerable; he felt like a doomed man awaiting his
-execution, whose only chance of a reprieve lay in inventing a plot for a
-novel. He could bear it no longer, and he got out of bed and opened his
-window. The fresh air of the May morning rushed in and suddenly filled
-the room with sweetness and his excited brain with a new sense of
-possibilities. He sat down at his table without thinking of dressing
-himself, and took up his pen. A sheet of paper lay ready before him, and
-the habit of writing was strong in itself—too strong to be resisted. In
-a few minutes that white sheet would be covered with words that would
-mean something, and those words would be the beginning of his book, of
-the novel he was about to write but of the contents of which he had not
-the remotest conception. This was not the way he had anticipated the
-commencement of the work that was to lay the first stone of his
-reputation. He had fancied himself sitting down to that first page, calm
-and collected, armed with a plot already thoroughly elaborated, charmed
-beforehand with the characters of his own invention, carried away from
-the first by the spirit of the action, cheered at every page by the
-certainty of success, because failure was to have been excluded by the
-multiplicity of his precautions. And here he was, without an idea in his
-brain or the least subject for an excuse, beginning a romance which was
-to be judged step by step by the person of all others most dear to him.
-
-George dipped his pen into the ink a second time and then glanced at the
-calendar. It was the fifth of May.
-
-“Well,” he said aloud, “there is luck in odd numbers. Here goes my first
-novel!”
-
-And thereupon, to his own great surprise, he began writing rapidly. He
-did not know what was coming, he hardly knew whether his hero had black
-hair or brown, and as for the heroine, he had not thought of her at all.
-But the hero was himself and was passing a night of great anxiety and
-distress in a small room, in a small house, in the city of New York. The
-reason of his anxiety and distress was a profound secret as yet, because
-George had not invented it, but there was no difficulty in depicting his
-state of mind. The writer had just spent that very night himself, and
-was describing it while the sun was yet scarcely risen. He chuckled
-viciously as he drove his pen along the lines and wrote out the ready
-phrases that rushed into his brain. It was inexpressibly comic to be
-giving all the details of his hero’s suffering without having the
-smallest idea of what caused it; but, as he went on, he found that his
-silence upon this important point was lending an uncanny air of mystery
-to his first chapter, and his own interest was unexpectedly aroused.
-
-It seemed strange, too, to find himself at liberty to devote as much
-space as he pleased to the elaboration of details that attracted his
-attention, and to feel that he was not limited in space as he had
-hitherto been in all he wrote. Of course, when he stopped to think of
-what he was to do next, he was as much convinced as ever that nothing
-could come of his attempt beyond this first chapter. The whole affair
-was like a sort of trial gallop over the paper, and doubtless when he
-read over what he had written he would be convinced of its
-worthlessness. He remembered his first fiery article upon the critics,
-and the wholesale cutting and pruning it had required before he could
-even submit it to Johnson. Then, however, he had written under the
-influence of anger; now, he was conscious of a new pleasure in every
-sentence, his ideas came smoothly to the surface and his own language
-had a freshness which he did not recognise. In old times he had studied
-the manner of great writers in the attempt to improve his own, and his
-style had been subject to violent attacks of Carlyle and to lucid
-intervals of Macaulay, he had worshipped at Ruskin’s exquisite shrine
-and had offered incense in Landor’s classic temple, he had eaten of
-Thackeray’s salt and had drunk long draughts from Dickens’s loving-cup.
-Perhaps each had produced its effect, but now he was no longer conscious
-of receiving influence from any of them. For the first time in his life
-he was himself, for better, for worse, to fail or to succeed. His soul
-and his consciousness expanded together in a new and intoxicating life,
-as he struck those first reckless strokes in the delicious waters of the
-unknown.
-
-He forgot everything, dress, breakfast, his father, the time of day and
-the time of year, and when he rose from his seat he had written the
-first chapter of his novel. For some occult reason he had stopped
-suddenly and dropped his pen. He knew instinctively that he had reached
-his first halting-place, and he paused for breath, left the table and
-went to the window. To his astonishment the sun was already casting
-shadows in the little brick yard, and he knew that it must be past noon.
-He looked at himself and saw that he was not dressed, then he looked at
-his watch and found that it was one o’clock. He rubbed his eyes, for it
-had all been like a dream, like a vision of fairyland, like a night
-spent at the play. On the table lay many pages of closely-written
-matter, numbered and neatly put together by sheer force of habit. He
-hardly knew what they contained, and he was quite unable to recall the
-words that opened the first paragraph. But he knew the last sentence by
-heart, for it was still ringing in his brain, and strange to say, he
-knew what was to come next, though he seemed not to have known it so
-long as he held his pen. While he dressed himself the whole book,
-confused in its details but clear in its general outline, presented
-itself to his contemplation, and he knew that he should write it as he
-saw it. It would assuredly not be a good novel, it would never be
-published, and he was wasting his time, but it would be a book, and he
-should keep his promise to Constance. He went downstairs and found his
-father at luncheon, with a newspaper beside him.
-
-“Well, George,” said the old gentleman, “I thought you were never going
-to get up.”
-
-“I am not quite sure that I have been to bed,” answered the young man.
-“But I know that I have been writing since it was daylight and have had
-no breakfast.”
-
-“That is a bad way of beginning the day,” said Jonah Wood, shaking his
-head. “You will derange your digestion by these habits. It is idle to
-try such experiments on the human frame.”
-
-“It was quite an unwilling experiment. I forgot all about eating. I had
-some work that had to be done and so I put it through.”
-
-“More articles?” inquired his father with kindly interest.
-
-“I believe I am writing a book,” said George. “It is a new sensation and
-very exhilarating, but I cannot tell you anything about it till I have
-got on with it further.”
-
-“A book, eh? Well, I wish you success, George. I hope you are well
-prepared and that you will do nothing hasty or ill considered.”
-
-“No, indeed!” exclaimed George with a laugh.
-
-Hasty and ill considered! Could any two epithets better describe the way
-in which he had gone to work? What rubbish it would be when it was
-finished, he thought, as he attacked the cold meat and pickles. He
-realised that he was desperately hungry, and unaccountably gay
-considering that he anticipated a total failure, and it was surprising
-that while he believed that he had been producing trash he should be in
-such a hurry to finish his meal in order to produce more. Nothing,
-however, seemed to be of the slightest importance, except to write as
-fast as he could in order to have plenty of manuscript to read to
-Constance at the first opportunity.
-
-That night before going to bed he sat down in a comfortable chair, lit a
-pipe and read over what he had written. It must be very poor stuff, of
-course, he considered, because he had turned it out so quickly; but he
-experienced one of the great pleasures of his life in reading it over.
-The phrases sent thrills of satisfaction through him and his hand
-trembled as he took up one sheet after another. It was strange that he
-should be able to take such delight in what must manifestly be so bad.
-But, bad or not, the thing was alive, and the characters were his
-companions, whispering in his ear the words that they were to speak, and
-bringing with them their individual atmospheres, while a sort of
-secondary and almost unconscious imagination performed the
-scene-shifting in a smooth and masterly fashion.
-
-Three days later, he sat beside Constance Fearing upon a wooden bench in
-a retired nook in Central Park. The weather was gloriously beautiful,
-and the whole world smelt of violets and sunshine. Everything was fresh
-and peaceful, and the stillness was broken only by the voices of
-laughing children who played together a hundred yards away from where
-the pair were sitting.
-
-“And now, begin,” said Constance eagerly, as George produced his folded
-manuscript.
-
-“It is horrible stuff,” he said. “I had really much rather not read it.”
-
-“Shall I go away?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“Then read!”
-
-A great wave of timidity came over the young man in that moment. He
-could not account for it, for he had often read to Constance the
-manuscript of his short articles. But this seemed very different. He let
-the folded sheets rest on his knee, and gazed into the distance, seeing
-nothing and wishing that he might sink through the earth into his own
-room. To judge from the sensation in his throat, he would not be able to
-read at all. Then all at once, he grew cold. He had undertaken to do
-this thing and he must carry it through, come what might. Constance
-would not laugh at him, and she would be just. He wished that she were
-Johnson, for it would be easier.
-
-“I am waiting,” she said with a gentle smile. George laughed.
-
-“I never was so frightened in my life,” he said. “I know what stage
-fright is, now.”
-
-Constance looked at him, and she liked his timidity more than she had
-often liked his boldness. She felt that she loved him a little more than
-before. Her voice was very soft when she spoke.
-
-“Are you afraid of me, dear?” she asked.
-
-The blood came to George’s face. It was the first time she had ever used
-an endearing expression in speaking to him.
-
-“Not since you have said that,” he answered, opening the sheets.
-
-He read the first chapter, and she did not interrupt him. Occasionally
-he glanced at her face. It was very grave and thoughtful, and he could
-not guess what was passing in her mind.
-
-“That is the end of the first chapter,” he said at last. “Do you like
-it?”
-
-“Go on!” she exclaimed quickly without heeding his question.
-
-George did as he was bidden and read on to the end of what he had
-brought. Whatever Constance might think of the work, she was evidently
-anxious to hear it, and this fact at least gave him a little courage.
-When he had finished, he folded up the sheets quickly and returned them
-to his pocket, without looking at his companion’s face. He did not dare
-ask her again for her opinion and he waited for her to speak. But she
-said nothing and leaned back in her seat, apparently contemplating the
-trees.
-
-“Would you like to walk a little?” George asked in an unsteady voice. He
-now took it for granted that she was not pleased.
-
-“Do you want to know what I think of your three chapters?”
-
-“Yes, please,” he answered nervously.
-
-“They are very, very good. They are as much better than anything you
-have ever done before, as champagne is better than soda-water.”
-
-“Not really!” George exclaimed in genuine and overwhelming surprise.
-“You are not in earnest?”
-
-“Indeed I am,” Constance answered, with some impatience. “Do you think I
-would say such a thing if I were not sure of it? Do you not feel it
-yourself? Did you not know it when you were writing?”
-
-“No—I thought, because it was written so fast it could not be worth
-much. Indeed, I think so still—I am afraid that you are——”
-
-“Mistaken?”
-
-“Perhaps—carried away because you like me, or because you think I ought
-to write well.”
-
-“Nonsense. Promise me that you will not show this book to any one until
-it is quite finished. I want you to take my word for it, to believe in
-my judgment, because I know I am right. Will you?”
-
-“Of course I will. To whom should I show it? I think I should be
-ashamed.”
-
-“You need not be ashamed if you go on in that way. When will you have
-written more?”
-
-“Give me three days—that will give you three chapters at least and take
-you well into the story. You are not going out of town yet.”
-
-“I shall not go until it is finished,” said Constance with great
-determination. She had made up her mind that George would write better
-if he wrote very fast, and she meant to urge him to do his utmost.
-
-“But that may take a long time,” he objected.
-
-“No it will not,” she answered. “You would not keep me in New York when
-it is too hot, would you?”
-
-“I will do my best,” said George.
-
-He kept his word and three weeks later he sat in his room, in the small
-hours of the morning, writing the last page of his first novel. He was
-in a state of indescribable excitement, though he seemed to be no longer
-thinking at all. The pen seemed to do the work of itself and he followed
-the words that appeared so quickly with a feverish interest. He had not
-the least idea how it would all look when it was done, but something
-told him that it was being done in the right way. His hand flew from
-side to side of the paper, and then stopped suddenly, why, he could not
-tell. It was not possible that there should be nothing more to say, no
-more to add, not one word to make the completion more complete. He
-collected his thoughts and read the page over carefully to the end.
-No—there was nothing wanting, and one word more would spoil the
-conclusion.
-
-“I do not understand why, I am sure,” he said to himself. “But that is
-the end, and there is no doubt about it. So here it goes!
-George—Winton—Wood—May 29th.”
-
-He pushed the sheet away from him. Rather theatrical, he thought, to
-sign his name to it, as though it were a real book, and as though the
-manuscript were worth keeping. He had done it all to please Constance,
-and Constance was pleased. In twenty-four days he had concocted a
-novel—and he had never in his life enjoyed twenty-four days so much.
-That was because he had seen Constance so often and because this
-wretched scroll had amused her. Would she like the last three chapters?
-Of course she would. He would take her the whole manuscript and make her
-a present of it. That was all it could be good for. To publish such
-stuff would be folly, even if any publisher could be found to abet such
-madness. On the whole, he would prefer to throw the whole into the fire.
-Nobody could tell. He might be famous some day in the far future, and
-then when he was dead and gone and could not interfere any longer, some
-abominable literary executor would get hold of this thing and print it,
-and show the world what an egregious ass the celebrated George Winton
-Wood had been when he was a very young man. But Constance could have it
-if she liked, on condition that it was never shown to anybody.
-
-Thereupon George tumbled into bed and slept soundly until ten o’clock on
-the following morning, when he gathered up his manuscript, tied it up
-into a neat bundle and went to meet Constance at their accustomed
-trysting-place in the Park.
-
-There were some very striking passages towards the conclusion of the
-book, and George read them as well as he could. Indeed as many of the
-best speeches were put into the mouth of the hero and were supposed to
-be addressed to the lady of his affections, George found it very natural
-to speak them to Constance and to give them a very tender emphasis. It
-was clear, too, that Constance understood the real intention of the
-love-making and, to all appearance, appreciated it, for the colour came
-and went softly in her face, and there was sometimes a little moisture
-in her eyes and sometimes a light that is not caused by mere interest in
-an everyday novel. George wrote better than he talked, as many men do
-who are born writers. There was music in his phrases, but it was the
-music of pure nature and not the rhythm of a studied prose. That was
-what most struck the attention of the young girl who sat beside him,
-drinking in the words which she knew were meant for her, and which she
-felt were more beautiful than anything she had heard before.
-
-To tell the truth, though she had spoken her admiration very frankly and
-forcibly, she was beginning to doubt her own ability to judge of the
-work. If George’s talent were really as great as it now seemed to her,
-how had it remained concealed so long? There had been nothing to compare
-with this in his numerous short writings. Was this because they had not
-been addressed to herself, or was it for this very reason that his novel
-was so much more fascinating? Or was it really because he had at last
-found out his strength and was beginning to use it like a giant? She
-could not tell. She confessed to herself that she had assumed much in
-setting up her judgment as a standard for him in the matter. The more he
-had read, the more she had been amazed at his knowledge of things and
-men, at his easy versatility and at the power he displayed in the more
-dramatic parts of the book. Of one thing she felt sure. The book would
-be read and would be liked by the class of people with whom she
-associated. What the critics might think or say about it was another
-matter.
-
-She had been prepared for something well done at the last, but she had
-not anticipated the ending—that ending which had so much surprised the
-writer himself in his inexperience of his own powers. His voice trembled
-as he read the last page, and he was not even conscious of being ashamed
-of showing so much feeling about the creatures of his imagination. He
-was aware, as in a dream that Constance’s small hand was tightly clasped
-in his while he was reading, and then, as his voice ceased, he felt her
-head resting against his shoulder.
-
-She was looking down and he could only see that there was colour in her
-face, but as he gazed at the tiny fair curls that were just visible to
-him, he saw a crystal tear fall upon his rough sleeve and glisten in the
-May sunlight.
-
-“You have dropped one of your diamonds,” he said, softly. “Is it for
-me—or for the man in the book?”
-
-She looked up into his face with a happy smile.
-
-“You should know best,” she answered.
-
-Her face was very near to his, and though his came nearer, she did not
-draw hers away. George forgot the nurses and the children in the
-distance. If all his assembled acquaintances had been drawn up in ranks
-before him, he would have forgotten their presence too. His lips touched
-her cheek, not timidly, nor roughly either, though he felt for one
-moment that his blood was on fire. Then she drew back quickly and took
-her hand from his.
-
-“It is very wrong of me,” she said. “Perhaps I shall never love you
-enough for that.”
-
-“How can you say so? Was it for the man in the book, then, after all?”
-
-“I do not know—forget it. It may come some day——”
-
-“Is it nearer than it was? Is it any nearer?” George asked, very
-tenderly.
-
-“I do not know. I am very foolish. Your book moved me I suppose—it is so
-grand, that last part, where he tells her the truth, and she sees how
-noble he has been all through.”
-
-“I am glad you have liked it so much. It was written to amuse you, and
-it has done that, at all events. So here it is. Do you care to keep it?”
-
-Constance looked at him in surprise, not understanding what he meant.
-
-“Of course I want it,” she answered. “After it is printed give it back
-to me.”
-
-“Printed!” exclaimed George, contemptuously. “Do you think anybody would
-publish it? Do you really think I would offer it to anybody?”
-
-“You are not serious,” said the young girl, staring at him.
-
-“Indeed I am in earnest. Do you believe a novel can be dashed off in
-that way, in three or four weeks and be good for anything? Why, it needs
-six months at least to write a book!”
-
-“What do you call this?” Constance asked, growing suddenly cold and
-taking the manuscript from his hands.
-
-“Not a book, certainly. It is a scrawl of some sort, a little better
-than a dime novel, a little poorer than the last thrilling tale in a
-cheap weekly. Whatever it is, it is not a publishable story.”
-
-Constance could not believe her ears. She did not know whether to be
-angry at his persistent contempt of her opinion, or to be frightened at
-the possibility of his being right.
-
-“We cannot both be right,” she said at last, with sudden energy. “One of
-us two must be an idiot—an absolute idiot—and—well, I would rather not
-think that I am the one, you know.”
-
-George laughed and tried to take the manuscript back, but she held it
-behind her and faced him.
-
-“What are you going to do with it?” he asked, when he saw that she was
-determined to keep it.
-
-“I will not tell you. Did you not say you had written it for me?”
-
-“Yes, but for you alone.”
-
-“Not at all. It is my property, and I will make any use of it I like.”
-
-“Please do not show it to any one,” he said very earnestly.
-
-“I promise nothing. It is mine to dispose of as I see fit.”
-
-“Let me look over it at least—I am sure it is full of bad English, and
-there are lots of words left out, and the punctuation is erratic. Give
-me that chance.”
-
-“No. I will not. You can do it on the proof. You are always telling me
-of what you do on the proofs of things.”
-
-“Constance! For Heaven’s sake give it back to me and think no more about
-it.”
-
-“Do you love me?”
-
-“You know I do——”
-
-“And do you want me to love you?—I may, you know.”
-
-“I want nothing else—but, Constance, I beg of you——”
-
-“Then apply your gigantic intellect to the contemplation of what
-concerns you. To be short, mind your own business, and go home.”
-
-“Please——”
-
-“If you are not gone before I count five, I shall hate you. I am
-beginning—one—two——”
-
-“Well, there is one satisfaction,” said George, abandoning the contest,
-“if you send it to a publisher to read, you will never see it again, nor
-hear of it.”
-
-“I will stand over him while he reads it,” said Constance, laughing. “If
-you are good you can take me to the carriage—if not, go away.”
-
-George walked by her side and helped her into the brougham that waited
-for her a short distance from the place where they had sat. He was
-utterly overcome by the novelty of the situation and did not even
-attempt to speak.
-
-“It is a great book,” said Constance, speaking through the open window
-after he had shut the door. “Tell him to go home.”
-
-“I do not care a straw what it is, so long as it has pleased you. Home,
-John!”
-
-“Yes sir.”
-
-And away the carriage rolled. Constance had not determined what she
-should do with her prize, but she was not long in making up her mind.
-George had often spoken of his friend Johnson, and had shown her
-articles written by him. It struck her that he would be the very person
-to whom she might apply for help. George would never suspect her of
-having gone to him and, from all accounts, he was an extremely reticent
-and judicious personage. She told the coachman to drive her to the
-office of the newspaper to which Johnson belonged and to beguile the
-time she began to read the manuscript over again from the beginning.
-When the carriage stopped she did not know that she had been driving for
-more than an hour since she had left George standing in the road in the
-Park.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER X.
-
-
-Constance did not find Johnson without asking her way many times, and
-losing it nearly as often, in the huge new building which was the
-residence and habitation of the newspaper. Nor did her appearance fail
-to excite surprise and admiration in the numerous reporters, messengers
-and other members of the establishment who had glimpses of her as she
-passed rapidly on, from corridor to corridor. It happened that Johnson
-was in the room allotted to his department, which was not always the
-case at that hour, for he did much of his work at his home.
-
-“Come in!” he said sharply, without looking up from his writing.
-“Well—what is it? Oh!” as he saw Miss Fearing standing before him. “I
-beg your pardon, madam!”
-
-“Are you Mr. Johnson? Am I disturbing you?” Constance asked. She was
-beginning to be surprised at her own audacity, and almost wished she had
-not come.
-
-“Yes madam. My name is Johnson, and my time is at your service,” said
-the pale young man, moving forward his best chair and offering it to
-her.
-
-“Thank you. I will not trouble you long. I have here a novel in
-manuscript——”
-
-Johnson interrupted her promptly.
-
-“Excuse me, madam, but to avoid all misunderstanding, I should tell you
-frankly from the first that we never publish fiction——”
-
-“No, of course not,” Constance broke in. “Let me tell my story.”
-
-Johnson bowed his head and assumed an attitude of attention.
-
-“A friend of yours,” the young girl continued, “has written this book.
-His name is Mr. George Winton Wood——”
-
-“I know him very well.” Johnson wondered why George had not come
-himself, and wondered especially how he happened to dispose of so young
-and beautiful an ambassadress.
-
-“Yes—he has often told me about you,” said Constance. “Very well. He has
-written this novel, and I have read it. He thinks it is not worth
-publishing, and I think it is. I want to ask a great favour of you. Will
-you read it yourself?”
-
-The pale young man hesitated. He was intensely conscientious, and he
-feared there was something queer about the business.
-
-“Pardon me,” he said, “does Mr. Wood know that you have brought it to
-me?”
-
-“No indeed! I would not have him know it for the world!”
-
-“Then I would rather not——”
-
-“But you must!” Constance exclaimed energetically. “It is splendid, and
-he wants to burn it. It will make his reputation in a day—I assure you
-it will! And besides, I would not promise him not to show it. Please,
-please, Mr. Johnson——”
-
-“Well, if you are quite sure there is no promise——”
-
-“Oh, quite, quite sure. And will you give me your opinion very soon? If
-you begin to read it you will not be able to lay it down.”
-
-Johnson smiled as he thought of the hundreds of manuscripts he had read
-for publishers. He had never found much difficulty in laying aside any
-of them.
-
-“It is true,” Constance insisted. “It is a great book. There has been
-nothing like it for ever so many years.”
-
-“Very well, madam. Give me the screed and I will read it. When shall I
-send—or would you rather——”
-
-He stopped, not knowing whether she wished to give her name. Constance
-hesitated, too, and blushed faintly.
-
-“I am Miss Fearing,” she said. “I live in Washington Square. Will you
-write down the address? Come and see me—or are you too busy?”
-
-“I will bring you the manuscript the day after to-morrow, Miss Fearing.”
-
-“Oh please, yes. Not later, because I cannot go out of town until I
-know—I mean, I want to go to Newport as soon as possible. Come after
-five. Will you? I mean if it is not giving you really too much
-trouble——”
-
-“Not in the least, Miss Fearing,” said the pale young man with alacrity.
-He was thinking that for the sake of conversing a quarter of an hour
-with such an exceedingly amiable young lady, he would put himself to
-vastly more trouble than was involved in stopping at Washington Square
-on his way up town in the afternoon.
-
-“Thank you. You are so kind. Good-bye, Mr. Johnson.” She held out her
-hand, but Johnson seized his hat and prepared to accompany her.
-
-“Let me take you to the Elevated, Miss Fearing,” he said.
-
-“Thank you very much, but I have a carriage downstairs,” said Constance.
-“If you would show me the way—it is so very complicated.”
-
-“Certainly, Miss Fearing.”
-
-Constance wondered why he repeated her name so often, whether it was a
-habit he had, or whether he was nervous, or whether he thought it good
-manners. She was not so much impressed with him at first sight as she
-had expected to be. He had not said anything at all clever, though it
-was true that there had not been many opportunities for wit in the
-conversation that had taken place. He belonged to a type with which she
-was not familiar, and she could not help asking herself whether George
-had other friends like him, who, if she knew them, would call her by her
-name half a dozen times in three minutes, and if he had many of them
-whether, in the event of her marrying him, she would be expected to know
-them all and to like them for his sake. Not that there was anything
-common or vulgar about this Johnson whom George praised so much. He
-spoke quietly, without any especial accent, and quite without
-affectation. He was dressed with perfect simplicity and good taste,
-there was nothing awkward in his manner—indeed Constance vaguely wished
-that he might have shown some little awkwardness or shyness. He was
-evidently a man of the highest education, and George said he was a man
-of the highest intelligence, but as Constance gave him her hand and he
-closed the door of the brougham, the impression came over her with
-startling vividness, that Mr. Johnson was emphatically not a man she
-would ask to dinner. She felt sure that if she met him in society she
-should feel a vague surprise at his being there, though she might find
-it impossible to say why he should not. On the other hand, though she
-was aware that she put herself in his power to some extent, since it was
-impossible that he should not guess that her interest in George Wood was
-the result of something at least a little stronger than ordinary
-friendship, yet she very much preferred to trust this stranger rather
-than to confide in any of the men she knew in society, not excepting
-John Bond himself.
-
-At five o’clock on the day agreed upon, Constance was informed that “a
-gentleman, a Mr. Johnson,” had called, saying that he came by
-appointment.
-
-“You are so kind,” said Constance, as he sat down opposite to her. He
-held the manuscript in his hand. “And what do you think of it? Am I not
-right?”
-
-“I am very much surprised,” said the pale young man. “It is a remarkable
-book, Miss Fearing, and it ought to be published at once.”
-
-Constance had felt sure of the answer, but she blushed with pleasure, a
-fact which did not escape Johnson’s quiet scrutiny.
-
-“You really think Mr. Wood has talent?” she asked, for the sake of
-hearing another word of praise.
-
-“There is more talent in one of his pages than in the whole aggregate
-works of half a dozen ordinarily successful writers,” Johnson answered
-with emphasis.
-
-“I am so glad you think so—so glad. And what is the first thing to be
-done in order to get this published? You see, I must ask your help, now
-that you have given your opinion.”
-
-“Will you leave the matter in my hands, Miss Fearing?”
-
-Constance hesitated. There was assuredly no one who would be more likely
-to do the proper thing in the matter, and yet she reflected that she
-knew nothing or next to nothing of the man before her, except from
-George’s praise of his intelligence.
-
-“Suppose that a publisher accepts the book,” she said warily, “what will
-he give Mr. Wood for it?”
-
-“Ten per cent on the advertised retail price,” Johnson answered
-promptly.
-
-“Of every copy sold, I suppose,” said Constance, who had a remarkably
-good head for business. “That is not much, is it? And besides, how is
-one to know that the publisher is honest? One hears such dreadful
-stories about those people.”
-
-Johnson laughed a little.
-
-“Faith is the evidence of things unseen, supported by reasonable and
-punctual payments,” he said. “Publishers are not all Cretans, Miss
-Fearing. There be certain just men among them who have reputations to
-lose.”
-
-“And none of them would do better than that by the book? But of course
-you know. Have you ever published anything yourself? Forgive my
-ignorance——”
-
-“I once published a volume of critical essays,” Johnson answered.
-
-“What was the title? I must read it—please tell me.”
-
-“It is not worth the trouble, I assure you. The title was that—_Critical
-Essays_ by William Johnson.”
-
-“Thank you, I will remember. And will you really do your very best for
-Mr. Wood’s book? Do you think it could be published in a fortnight?”
-
-“A fortnight!” exclaimed Johnson, aghast at Constance’s ignorance.
-“Three months would be the shortest time possible.”
-
-“Three months! Dear me, what a length of time!”
-
-Johnson rapidly explained as well as he could the principal reasons why
-it takes longer to publish a book than to write one. He exchanged a few
-more words with Constance, promising to make every effort to push on the
-appearance of the novel, but advising her to expect no news whatever for
-several months. Then he took his leave.
-
-Half an hour later Constance was at her bookseller’s.
-
-“I want a book called _Critical Essays_, by William Johnson,” she said.
-“Have you got it, Mr. Popples?”
-
-She waited some time before it was brought to her. Then she pretended to
-look through it carefully, examining the headings of the papers that
-were collected in it.
-
-“Is it worth reading?” she asked carelessly.
-
-“Excellent, Miss Fearing,” answered the grey-haired professional
-bookseller. He had known Constance since she had been a mere child with
-a passion for Mr. Walter Crane’s picture-books. “Excellent,” he
-repeated, emphatically. “A little dry perhaps, but truly excellent.”
-
-“Has it been a success, do you know?”
-
-“Yes, I know, Miss Fearing,” answered Mr. Popples, with a meaning smile.
-“I know very well. I happen to know that it did not pay for the
-printing.”
-
-“Did the author not even get ten per cent on the advertised retail
-price?” Constance inquired.
-
-Mr. Popples stared at her for a moment, evidently wondering where she
-had picked up the phrase. He immediately suspected her of having
-perpetrated a literary misdeed in one volume.
-
-“No, Miss Fearing. I happen to know that Mr. Johnson did not get ten per
-cent on the advertised retail price of his book; in point of fact, he
-got nothing at all for it, excepting a number of very flattering
-notices. But excuse me, Miss Fearing, if you were thinking of venturing
-upon publishing anything——” His voice dropped to a confidential pitch.
-
-“I?” exclaimed Constance.
-
-“Well, Miss Fearing, it could be done very discreetly, you know. Just a
-little volume of sweet verse? Is that it, Miss Fearing? Now, you know,
-that kind of thing would have a run in society, and if you would like to
-put it into my hands, I know a publisher——”
-
-“But, Mr. Popples,” interrupted Constance, recovering from her amusement
-so far as to be able to interrupt the current of the bookseller’s
-engaging offers, “I never wrote anything in my life. I asked out of
-sheer curiosity.”
-
-Mr. Popples smiled blandly, without the least appearance of
-disappointment.
-
-“Well, well, Miss Fearing, you are quite right,” he said. “In point of
-fact those little literary ventures of young ladies very rarely do come
-to much, do they? To misquote the Laureate, Miss Fearing, we might say
-that ‘Men must write and women must read’! Eh, Miss Fearing?”
-
-The old fellow chuckled at his bad joke, as he wrapped up the volume of
-_Critical Essays_ by William Johnson, and handed it across the table.
-There were only tables in Mr. Popples’s establishment; he despised
-counters.
-
-“Anything else to serve you, Miss Fearing? A novel or two, for the May
-weather? No? Let me take it to your carriage.”
-
-“Thanks. I am walking, but I will carry it. Good evening.”
-
-“Good evening, Miss Fearing. Your parasol is here. Walking this evening!
-In the May weather! Good evening, Miss Fearing.”
-
-And Mr. Popples bowed his favourite customer out of his establishment,
-with a very kindly look in his tired old spectacled eyes.
-
-Constance had got what she had come for. If William Johnson, author of
-_Critical Essays_, a journalist and a man presumably acquainted with all
-the ins and outs of publishing, had made nothing by his successful book,
-George would be doing very well in obtaining ten per cent on the
-advertised retail price of every copy of his novel which was sold.
-Constance had been mistaken when she had doubted Johnson, but she did
-not regret her doubt in the least. After all, she had undertaken the
-responsibility of George’s book, and she could not conscientiously
-believe everything she was told by strangers concerning its chances. Mr.
-Popples, however, was above suspicion, and had, moreover, no reason for
-telling that the _Critical Essays_ had brought their author no
-remuneration. Johnson’s face, too, inspired confidence, as well as
-George’s own trust in him. Constance felt that she had done all she
-could, and she accordingly made her preparations for going out of town.
-
-She was glad to get away, in order to study herself. The habit of
-introspection had grown upon her, for she had encouraged herself in it,
-ever since she had begun to feel that George was something more to her
-than a friend. Her over-conscientious nature feared to make some mistake
-which might embitter his life as well as her own. She was in constant
-dread of letting herself be carried away by the impulse of a moment to
-say something that might bind her to marry him, before she could feel
-that she loved him wholly as she wished to love him. On looking back,
-she bitterly regretted having allowed him to kiss her cheek on that
-morning in the Park. She had been under the influence of a strong
-emotion, produced by the conclusion of his book, and she seemed in her
-own eyes to have acted in a way quite unworthy of herself. Had she been
-able to carry her analysis further, she would have discovered that
-behind her distrust of herself she felt a lingering distrust of George.
-A year earlier she had thought it possible that he was strongly
-attracted by her fortune. Now, however, she would have scouted the idea,
-if it had presented itself in that shape. But it was present,
-nevertheless, in a more subtle form.
-
-“He loves me sincerely,” she said to herself. “He would marry me now, if
-I were a pauper. But would he have loved me from the first if I had been
-poor?”
-
-It was not often that she put the question, even in this way, but as it
-belonged to that class of vicious inquiries which it is impossible to
-answer, it tormented her perpetually by suggesting a whole series of
-doubts, useless in themselves and mischievous in their consequences. She
-was convinced of two things. First, that she was unaccountably
-influenced by George’s presence to say and do things which she was
-determined at other times that she would never say or do; and, secondly,
-that whether she loved him truly or not she could not imagine herself as
-loving any one else nearly so much. Under these circumstances, it was
-clearly better that she should not see him for a considerable time. She
-would thus withdraw herself from the sphere of his direct influence, and
-she would have leisure to study and weigh her own feelings, with a view
-to reaching a final decision. Nevertheless she looked forward to the
-moment of parting from him with something that was very like pain.
-Contrary to her expectations, the interview passed off with little show
-of emotion on either side.
-
-They talked for some time about the book, Constance assuming an air of
-mystery as regards its future and George speaking of it with the utmost
-indifference. At the last minute, when he had risen to go and was
-standing beside her, she laid her hand upon his arm.
-
-“You do not think I am heartless, do you?” she asked, looking at a
-particular button on his coat.
-
-“No,” George answered. “I think you are very sincere. I sometimes wish
-you would forget to be so sincere with yourself. I wish you would let
-yourself run away with yourself now and then.”
-
-“That would be very wrong. It would be very unfair and unjust to you.
-Suppose—only suppose, you know—that I made up my mind to marry you, and
-then discovered when it was too late that I did not love you. Would not
-that be dreadful? Is it not better to wait a little longer?”
-
-“You shall never say that I have pressed you into a decision against
-your will,” said George, betraying in one speech his youth, his
-ignorance of woman in general and his almost quixotic readiness to obey
-Constance in anything and everything.
-
-“You are very generous,” she answered, still looking at the button. “But
-I will not feel that I am spoiling your life—no, let me speak—to keep
-you in this position much longer would be doing that, indeed it would.
-In six months from now you will be famous. I know it, though you laugh
-at me. Then you will be able to marry whom you please. I cannot marry
-you now, for I do not love you enough. You are free, you must not feel
-that I want to bind you, do you understand. You will travel this summer,
-for you have told me that you are going to make several visits in
-country-houses. If you see any one you like better than me, do not feel
-that you are tied by any promises. It would not break my heart, if you
-married some one else.”
-
-In spite of her calmness there was a slight tremor in her voice which
-did not escape George’s ear.
-
-“I shall never love any one else,” he said simply.
-
-“You may. I may. But waiting must have a limit——”
-
-“Say this, Constance,” said George. “Say that if, by next May, you do
-not love me less than you do now, you will be my wife.”
-
-“No. I must love you more. If I love you better than now, it will show
-that my love is always to increase, and I will marry you.”
-
-“In May?”
-
-“In May, next year. But this is no engagement. I make no promise, and I
-will take none from you. You are free, and so am I, until the first of
-May——”
-
-“I shall never be free again, dear,” said George, happily, for he
-anticipated great things of the strange agreement she proposed. He put
-his arm about her and drew her to him very tenderly. Another second and
-his lips would have touched her cheek, just where they had touched it
-once before. But Constance drew back quickly and slipped from his arm.
-
-“No, no,” she laughed, “that is not a part of the agreement. It is far
-too binding.”
-
-George’s face was grave and sad. Her action had given him a sharp thrust
-of painful disappointment, and he did his best not to hide it. Constance
-looked at him a moment.
-
-“Am I not right?” she asked.
-
-“You are always right—even when you give me pain,” he answered with a
-shade of bitterness.
-
-“Have I given you pain now?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Did you think, from the way I behaved, that I would let you kiss me for
-good-bye?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“You shall not say that I hurt you, and you shall not go away believing
-that I deceived you,” said Constance, coming back to him.
-
-She put her two hands round his neck and drew down his willing face.
-Then she kissed him softly on both cheeks.
-
-“Forgive me,” she said. “I did not mean to hurt you. Good-bye—dear.”
-
-George left the house feeling very happy, but persuaded that neither he
-nor any other man could ever understand the heart of woman, which, after
-all, seemed to be the only thing in the world worth understanding. He
-had ample time for reflection in the course of the summer, but without
-the reality before him the study of the problem grew more and more
-perplexing.
-
-The weather grew very warm in the end of June, and George left New York.
-He had written much in the course of the year and had earned enough
-money to give himself a rest during the hot months. He tried to persuade
-his father to accompany him and to spend the time by the seaside while
-George himself made his promised visits. But Jonah Wood declared that he
-preferred New York in the summer and that nothing would induce him to
-waste money on such folly as travelling. To tell the truth, the old
-gentleman had grown accustomed to rigid economy in his little house in
-town, but he could not look forward with any pleasure to the discomforts
-of second-rate hotels in second-rate places. So George went away alone.
-
-He had already begun another book. He did not look upon his first effort
-in the light of a book at all, but he had tasted blood, and the thirst
-was upon him, and he must needs quench it. This time, however, he set
-himself steadily to work to do the very best he could, labouring to
-repress his own vivacity and trying to keep out of the fever that was
-threatening to carry him away outside of himself. He limited his work
-strictly to a small amount every day, polishing every sentence and
-thinking out every phrase before it was set down. Working in this way he
-had written about half a volume by the end of August, when he found
-himself in a pleasant country-house by the sea in the midst of a large
-party of people. He had all but forgotten his first book, and had
-certainly but a very dim recollection of what it contained. He looked
-back upon its feverish production as upon a sort of delirious dream
-during which he had raved in a language now strange to his memory.
-
-One afternoon, in the midst of a game of lawn-tennis, a telegram was
-brought to him.
-
-“Rob Roy and Co. publish book immediately England and America. Have
-undertaken that you accept royalty ten per cent retail advertised price.
-Wire reply. C. F.”
-
-George possessed a very considerable power of concealing his emotions,
-but this news was almost too much for his equanimity. He thrust the
-despatch into his pocket and went on playing, but he lost the game in a
-shameful fashion and was roundly abused by his cousin Mamie Trimm, who
-chanced to be his partner. Mamie and her mother were stopping in the
-same house, by what Mrs. Sherrington Trimm considered a rather
-unfortunate accident, since Mamie was far too fond of George already. In
-reality, the excellent hostess had an idea that George loved the girl,
-and as the match seemed most appropriate in her eyes, she had brought
-them together on purpose.
-
-As soon as possible he slipped away, put on his flannel jacket and went
-to the telegraph office, reading the despatch he had received over and
-over again as he hurried along the path, and trying to compose his
-answer at the same time. Constance’s message seemed amazingly neat,
-business-like and concise, and he wondered whether some one else had not
-been concerned in the affair. The phrase about the royalty did not sound
-like a woman’s expression, though she might have copied it from the
-publisher’s letter.
-
-George had formerly imagined that if his first performance were really
-in danger of being published, he should do everything in his power to
-prevent such a catastrophe. He felt no such impulse now, however.
-Messrs. Rob Roy and Company were very serious people, great publishers,
-whose name alone gave a book a chance of success. They bore an
-exceptional reputation in the world of books, and George knew very well
-that they would not publish trash. But he was not elated by the news,
-however much surprised he might be. It was strange, indeed, that a firm
-of such good judgment should have accepted his novel, but it could not
-but be a failure, all the same. He would get the proofs as soon as
-possible, and he would do what he could to make the work decently
-presentable by inserting plentiful improvements.
-
-His answer to Constance’s telegram was short.
-
-“Deplore catastrophe. Pity public. Thank publisher. Agree terms. Where
-are proofs? G. W.”
-
-By the time the proofs were ready, George was once more in New York,
-though Constance had not yet returned. He was hard at work upon his
-second book and looked with some disgust at the package of printed
-matter that lay folded as it had come, upon his table. Nevertheless he
-opened the bundle and looked at them.
-
-“Confound them!” he exclaimed. “They have sent me a paged proof instead
-of galleys!”
-
-It was evident that he could not insert many changes, where the matter
-was already arranged in book form, and he anticipated endless annoyance
-in pasting in extensive “riders” of writing-paper in order to get room
-for the vast changes he considered necessary.
-
-An hour later he was lying back in his easy-chair reading his own novel
-with breathless interest. He had not yet made a correction of any kind
-in the text. It was not until the following day that he was able to go
-over it all more calmly, but even then, he found that little could be
-done to improve it. When he had finished, he sent the proofs back and
-wrote a letter to Constance.
-
-“I have read the book over,” he wrote, among other things, “and it is
-not so bad as I supposed. I know that it cannot be good, but I am
-convinced that worse novels have found their way into print, if not into
-notice. I take back at least one-tenth of all I said about it formerly,
-and I will not abuse it in the future, leaving that office to those who
-will doubtless command much forcible language in support of their just
-opinion. Am I to thank you, too? I hardly know. There are other things
-for which I would rather be in a position to owe you thanks. However,
-the die is cast, you have made a skipping-rope of the Rubicon and have
-whisked it under my feet without my consent. Let the poor book take its
-chance. Its birth was happy, may its death at least be peaceful.”
-
-To this Constance replied three weeks later.
-
-“I am glad to see that a disposition to repentance has set in. You are
-wise in not abusing my book any more. You ought to be doing penance in
-sackcloth and ashes before that bench in Central Park on which I sat
-when I told you it was good. The children would all laugh at you, and
-throw stones at you, and I should be delighted. I am not coming to town
-until it is published and is a success. Grace thinks I have gone into
-speculations, because I get so many letters and telegrams about it. I
-shall not tell you what the people who read the manuscript said about
-it. You can find that out for yourself.”
-
-George awoke one morning to find himself, if not famous, at least the
-topic of the day in more countries than one. A week had not elapsed
-before the papers were full of notices of his book and speculations as
-to his personality. No one seemed to consider that George Winton Wood,
-the novelist, could be the same man as G. W. Wood, the signer of modest
-articles in the magazines. The first review called him an unknown person
-of surprising talent, the second did not hesitate to describe him as a
-man of genius, and the third—branded him as a plagiarist who had stolen
-his plot from a forgotten novel of the beginning of the century and had
-somehow—this was not clear in the article—made capital out of the
-writings of Macrobius, he was a villain, a poacher, a pickpocket
-novelist, a literary body-snatcher, in fact in the eyes of all but the
-over-lax law, little short of a thief. George knew that sort of style,
-and he read the abuse over again and again with unmitigated delight. He
-had done as much himself in the good old days when the editors would let
-him. He did not show this particular notice to his father, however, and
-only handed him those that were favourable—and they were many. Jonah
-Wood sat reading them all day long, over and over again.
-
-“I am very glad, George,” he said, repeatedly. “I am very proud of you.
-It is splendid. But do you think all this will bring you much pecuniary
-remuneration?”
-
-“Ten per cent on the advertised retail price of each copy,” was George’s
-answer.
-
-He entered the railway station one day and was amazed to see the walls
-of the place covered with huge placards, three feet square, bearing the
-name of his book and his own, alternately, in huge black letters on a
-white ground. The young man at the bookstall was doing a thriving
-business. George went up to him.
-
-“That book seems to sell,” he said quietly.
-
-“Like hot cakes,” answered the vendor, offering him his own production.
-“One dollar twenty-five cents.”
-
-“Thank you,” said George. “I would not give so much for a novel.”
-
-“Well, there are others will, I guess,” answered the young man. “Step
-aside if you please and give these ladies a chance.”
-
-George smiled and turned away.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-Sherrington Trimm had kept Mr. Craik’s secret as well as he could, but
-although he had not told his wife anything positive concerning the will
-that had been so hastily drawn up, he had found it impossible not to
-convey to Totty such information about the matter as was manifestly
-negative. She had seen very soon that he considered the inheritance of
-her brother’s money as an illusion, upon which he placed no faith
-whatever, and she had understood that in advising her not to think too
-much about it, he meant to do more than administer one of his customary
-rebukes to her covetousness. At last, she determined to know the truth
-and pressed him with the direct question.
-
-“So far as I know, my dear,” he answered, gravely, “you will never get
-that money, so you may just as well put the subject out of your mind,
-and be satisfied with what you have.”
-
-Neither diplomacy nor cajolery nor reproaches could force anything more
-definite than this from Sherrington Trimm’s discreet lips, though Totty
-used all her weapons, and used them very cleverly, in her untiring
-efforts to find out the truth. Was Tom going to leave his gold to a
-gigantic charity? Sherry’s round, pink face grew suddenly stony. Was it
-a hospital or an asylum for idiots?—he really might tell her! His
-expression never changed. Totty was in despair, and her curiosity
-tormented her in a way that would have done credit to the gad-fly which
-tortured Io of old. Neither by word, nor look, nor deed could Sherry be
-made to betray his brother-in-law’s secret. He was utterly impenetrable,
-as soon as the subject was brought up, and Totty even fancied that he
-knew beforehand when she was about to set some carefully-devised trap
-for him, so ready was he to oppose her wiles.
-
-On the other hand since old Mr. Craik had recovered, his sister had
-shown herself more than usually anxious to please him. In this she
-argued as her husband had done, saying that a man who had changed his
-will once might very possibly change it again. She therefore spared no
-pains in consulting Tom’s pleasure whenever occasion offered, and she
-employed her best tact in making his life agreeable to him. He, on his
-part, was even more diverted than she intended that he should be, and he
-watched all her moves with inward amusement. There had never been any
-real sympathy between them. He had been the first child, and several
-others had died in infancy during a long series of years, Totty, the
-youngest of all, alone surviving, separated from her brother in age by
-nearly twenty years. From her childhood, she had always been trying to
-get something from him, and whenever the matters in hand did not chance
-to clash with his own interests, he had granted her request. Indeed, on
-the whole, and considering the man’s grasping character, he had treated
-her with great generosity. Totty’s gratitude, however, though always
-sincere, was systematically prophetic in regard to favours to come, and
-Tom had often wondered whether anything in the world would satisfy her.
-
-Of late she seemed to have developed an intense interest in the means of
-prolonging life, and she did not fail to give him the benefit of all the
-newest theories on the subject. Tom, however, did not feel that he was
-going to die, and was more and more irritated by her officious
-suggestions. One day she took upon herself to be more than usually
-pressing. He had been suffering from a slight cold, and she had passed
-an anxious week.
-
-“There is nothing for you, Tom,” she said, “but a milk cure and massage.
-They say there is nothing like it. It is perfectly wonderful——”
-
-Her brother raised his bent head and looked keenly at her, while a sour
-smile passed over his face.
-
-“Look here, Totty,” he answered, “don’t you think I should keep better
-in camphor?”
-
-“How can you be so unkind!” exclaimed Totty, blushing scarlet. She
-rarely blushed at all, and her brother’s amusement increased, until it
-reached its climax and broke out in a hard, rattling laugh.
-
-After this, Mrs. Trimm grew more cautious. She talked less of remedies
-and cures and practised with great care a mournfully sympathetic
-expression. In the course of a week or two this plan also began to wear
-upon Craik’s nerves, for she made a point of seeing him almost every
-day.
-
-“I say, Totty,” he said suddenly. “If anybody is dead, tell me. If you
-think anybody is going to die, send for the doctor. But if they are all
-alive and well, don’t go round looking like an undertaker’s wife when
-the season has been too healthy.”
-
-“How can you expect me to look gay?” Totty asked with a sad smile. “Do
-you think it makes me happy to see you going on in this way?”
-
-“Which way?” inquired Mr. Craik with a pleased grin.
-
-“Why, you won’t have massage, and you won’t take the milk cure, and you
-won’t go to Aix, and you won’t let me do anything for you, and—and I’m
-so unhappy! Oh Tom, how unkind you are!”
-
-Thereupon Mrs. Trimm burst into tears with much feeling. Tom Craik
-looked at her for some seconds and then, being in his own house, rang
-the bell, sent for the housekeeper and a bottle of salts, and left Totty
-to recover as best she might. He knew very well that those same tears
-were genuine and that they had their source in anger and disappointment
-rather than in any sympathy for himself, and he congratulated himself
-upon having changed his will in time.
-
-The old man watched George Wood’s increasing success with an interest
-that would have surprised the latter, if he had known anything of it. It
-seemed as if, by assuring him the reversion of the fortune, Tom Craik
-had given him a push in the right direction. Since that time, indeed,
-George’s luck had begun to turn, and now, though still unconscious of
-the wealth that awaited him, he was already far on the road to celebrity
-and independence. The lonely old man of business found a new and keen
-excitement in following the doings of the young fellow for whom he had
-secretly prepared such an overwhelming surprise. He was curious to see
-whether George would lose his head, whether he would turn into the
-fatuous idol of afternoon tea-parties, or whether he would fall into
-vulgar dissipation, whether he would quarrel with his father as soon as
-he was independent, or whether he would spend his earnings in making the
-old gentleman more comfortable.
-
-Tom Craik cared very little what George did, provided he did something.
-What he most regretted was that he could not possibly be present to
-enjoy the surprise he had planned. It amused him to think out the
-details of his future. If, for instance, George took to drinking and
-gambling, losing and wasting at night what he had laboured hard to earn
-during the day, what a moment that would be in his life when he should
-be told that Tom Craik was dead, and that he was master of a great
-fortune. The old man chuckled over the idea, and fancied he could see
-George’s face when, having lost more than he could possibly pay, his
-young eyes heavy with wine, his hand trembling with excitement, he would
-be making his last desperate stand at poker in the quiet upper room of a
-gambling club. He would lose his nerve, show his cards, lose and sink
-back in his chair with a stare of horror. At that moment the door would
-open and Sherry Trimm would come in and whisper a few words in his ear.
-Tom Craik liked to imagine the young fellow’s bound of surprise, the
-stifled cry of amazement that would escape from his lips, the doubts,
-the fears that would beset him until the money was his, and then the
-sudden cure that would follow. Yes, thought Tom, there was no such cure
-for a spendthrift as a fortune, a real fortune. To make a man love
-money, give it to him all at once in vast quantities—provided he is not
-a fool. And George was no fool. He had already proved that.
-
-There was something satanic in Mr. Craik’s speculations. He knew the
-world well. It amused him to fancy George, admired and courted as a
-literary lion, but feared by all judicious mammas, as only young, poor
-and famous literary lions are feared. How the sentimental young ladies
-would crowd about him and offer him tea, cake and plots for his novels!
-And how the ring of mothers would draw their daughters away from him and
-freeze him with airs politely cold! How two or three would be gathered
-together in one corner of the room to say to each other that two or
-three others in the opposite corner were foolishly exposing their
-daughters to the charms of an adventurer, for his books bring him in
-nothing, my dear, not a cent—Mr. Popples told me so! And how the
-compliment would be returned upon the two or three, by the other two or
-three, with usurious compound interest. Enter to them, thought Craik,
-another of their tribe—what do you think, my dears? Tom Craik left all
-that money to George Wood, house, furniture, pictures, horses and
-carriages—everything! Just think! I really must go and speak to the dear
-fellow! And how they would all be impelled, at the same moment, by the
-same charitable thought! How they would all glide forward, during the
-next quarter of an hour, impatient to thaw with intimacy what they had
-lately wished to freeze with politeness, and how, a little later, each
-would say to her lovely daughter as they went home—you know Georgey
-Wood—for it would be Georgey at once—is such a good fellow, so famous
-and yet so modest, so unassuming when you think how enormously rich he
-is. Is he rich, mamma? Why, yes, Kitty—or Totty, or Dottie, or Hattie,
-or Nelly—he has all Tom Craik’s money, and that gem of a house to live
-in, and the pictures and everything, and your cousin—or your aunt—Totty
-is furious about it—but he is such a nice fellow. There would not be
-much difficulty about getting a wife for the “nice fellow” then, thought
-Thomas Craik.
-
-And one or other of these things might have actually happened, precisely
-as Thomas Craik foresaw if that excellent and worthy man, Sherrington
-Trimm had not unexpectedly fallen ill during the spring that followed
-George Wood’s first success. His illness was severe and was undoubtedly
-caused by too much hard work, and was superinduced by a moderate but
-unchanging taste for canvas-backs, truffles boiled in madeira and an
-especial brand of brut champagne. Sherry recovered, indeed, but was
-ordered to Carlsbad in Bohemia without delay. Totty found that it was
-quite impossible for her to accompany him, considering the precarious
-state of her brother’s health. To leave Tom at such a time would be
-absolutely heartless. Sherrington Trimm expressed a belief that Tom
-would last through the summer and perhaps through several summers, as he
-never did a stroke of work and was as wiry as hairpins. He might have
-added that his brother-in-law did not subsist upon cryptograms and brut
-wines, but Sherry resolutely avoided suggesting to himself that the
-daily consumption of those delicacies was in any way connected with his
-late illness. His wife, however, shook her head, and quoting glibly
-three or four medical authorities, assured him that Tom’s state was very
-far from satisfactory. Mamie might go with her father, if she pleased,
-but Totty would not leave the sinking ship.
-
-“Till the rats leave it,” added Mr. Trimm viciously. His wife gave him a
-mournfully severe glance and left him to make his preparations.
-
-So he went abroad, and was busy for some time with the improvement of
-his liver and the reduction of his superfluous fat, and John Bond
-managed the business in his stead. John Bond was a very fine fellow and
-did well whatever he undertook, so that Mr. Trimm felt no anxiety about
-their joint affairs. John himself was delighted to have an opportunity
-of showing what he could do and he looked forward to marrying Grace
-Fearing in the summer, considering that his position was now
-sufficiently assured. He was far too sensible a man to have any scruples
-about taking a rich wife while he himself was poor, but he was too
-independent to live upon Grace’s fortune, and as she was so young he had
-put off the wedding until he felt that he was making enough money to
-have all that he wanted for himself without her aid. When they were
-married she could do what she pleased without consulting him, and he
-would do as he liked without asking her advice or assistance. He
-considered that marriage could not be happy where either of the couple
-was dependent upon the other for necessities or luxuries, and that
-domestic peace depended largely on the exclusion of all monetary
-transactions between man and wife. John Bond was a typical man of his
-class, tall, fair, good-looking, healthy, active, energetic and keen. He
-had never had a day’s illness nor an hour’s serious annoyance. He had
-begun life in the right way, at the right end and in a cheerful spirit.
-There was no morbid sentimentality about him, no unnecessary development
-of the imagination, no nervousness, no shyness, no underrating of other
-people and no overrating of himself. He knew he could never be great or
-famous, and that he could only be John Bond as long as he lived. John
-Bond he would be, then, and nothing else, but John Bond should come to
-mean a great deal before he had done with the name. It should mean the
-keenest, most hardworking, most honest, most reliable, most clean-handed
-lawyer in the city of New York. There was a breezy atmosphere of truth,
-soap and enterprise about John Bond.
-
-Before going abroad Sherrington Trimm asked Tom Craik whether he should
-tell his junior partner of the existence of a will in favour of George
-Wood. Mr. Craik hesitated before he answered.
-
-“Well, Sherry,” he said at last, “considering the uncertainty of human
-life, as Totty says, and considering that you are more used to Extra Dry
-than to Carlsbad waters, you had better tell him. There is no knowing
-what tricks that stuff may play with you. Let it be in confidence.”
-
-“Of course,” said Mr. Trimm. “I would rather trust John Bond than trust
-myself.”
-
-The same day he imparted the secret to his partner. The latter nodded
-gravely and then fell into a fit of abstraction which was very rare with
-him. He knew a great deal of the relations existing between Constance
-and George Wood, and in his frank, lawyer-like distrust of people’s
-motives, he had shared Grace’s convictions about the man, though he had
-always treated him with indifference and always avoided speaking of him.
-
-There are some people whose curiosity finds relief in asking questions,
-even though they obtain no answers to their inquiries. Totty was one of
-these, and she missed her husband more than she had thought possible.
-There had been a sort of satisfaction in tormenting him about the will,
-accompanied by a constant hope that he might one day forget his
-discretion in a fit of anger and let out the secret she so much desired
-to learn. Now, however, there was no one to cross-examine except Tom
-himself, and she would as soon have thought of asking him a direct
-question in the matter as of trying to make holes in a mill-stone with a
-darning-needle. Her curiosity had therefore no outlet and as her
-interest was so directly concerned at the same time, it is no wonder
-that she fell into a deplorably unsettled state of mind. For a long time
-not a ray of light illuminated the situation, and Totty actually began
-to grow thin under the pressure of her constant anxiety. At last she hit
-upon a plan for discovering the truth, so simple that she wondered how
-she had failed to think of it before.
-
-Nothing indeed could be more easy of execution than what she
-contemplated. Her husband kept in a desk in his room a set of duplicate
-keys to the deed boxes in his office. Among these there must be also the
-one that opened her brother’s box. These iron cases were kept in a
-strong room that opened into a small corridor between Sherrington
-Trimm’s private study and the outer rooms where the clerks worked. Totty
-had her own box there, separate from her husband’s and she remembered
-that there was one not far from hers on which was painted her brother’s
-name. She would have no difficulty in entering the strong room alone, on
-pretence of depositing a deed. Was she not the wife of the senior
-partner, and had she not often done the same thing before? If her
-brother had made a new will, it must be in that box, where he kept such
-papers as possessed only a legal value. One glance would show her all
-she wanted to know, and her mind would be at rest from the wearing
-anxiety that now made her life almost unbearable.
-
-She opened the desk and had no difficulty in finding the key to her
-brother’s box. It was necessary to take something in the nature of a
-deed, to hold in her hand as an excuse for entering the strong room, for
-she did not want to take anything out of it, lest John Bond, who would
-see her, should chance to notice the fact and should mention it to her
-husband when he came back. On the other hand, it would not do to deposit
-an empty envelope, sealed and marked as though it contained something
-valuable. Mrs. Trimm never did things by halves nor was she ever so
-unwise as to leave traces of her tactics behind her. A palpable fraud
-like an empty envelope might at some future time be used against her. To
-take any document away from the office, even if she returned the next
-day, would be to expose herself to a cross-examination from Sherrington
-when he came home, for he knew the state of her affairs and would know
-also that she never needed to consult the papers she kept at the office.
-There was nothing for it but to have a real document of some sort. Totty
-sat down and thought the matter over for a quarter of an hour. Then she
-ordered her carriage and drove down town to the office of a broker who
-sometimes did business for her and her husband.
-
-“I have made a bet,” she said, with a little laugh, “and I want you to
-help me to win it.”
-
-The broker expressed his readiness to put the whole New York Stock
-Exchange at her disposal in five minutes, if that were of any use to
-her.
-
-“Yes,” said Totty. “I have bet that I will buy a share in something—say
-for a hundred dollars—that I will keep it a year and that at the end of
-that time it will be worth more than I gave for it.”
-
-“One way of winning the bet would be to buy several shares in different
-things and declare the winner afterwards. One of the lot will go up.”
-
-“That would not be fair,” said Totty with a laugh. “I must say what it
-is I have bought. Can you give me something of the kind—now? I want to
-take it away with me, to show it.”
-
-The broker went out and returned a few minutes later with what she
-wanted, a certificate of stock to the amount of one hundred dollars, in
-a well-known undertaking.
-
-“If anything has a chance, this has,” said the broker, putting it into
-an envelope and handing it to her. “Oh no, Mrs. Trimm—never mind paying
-for it!” he added with a careless laugh. “Give it back to me when you
-have done with it.”
-
-But Totty preferred to pay her money, and did so before she departed.
-Ten minutes later she was at her husband’s office. Her heart beat a
-little faster as she asked John Bond to open the strong room for her.
-She hoped that something would happen to occupy him while she was
-within.
-
-“Let me help you,” he said, entering the place with her. The strong room
-was lighted from above by a small skylight over a heavy grating, the
-boxes being arranged on shelves around the walls. John Bond went
-straight to the one that belonged to Totty and moved it forward a little
-so that she could open it. She held her envelope ostentatiously in one
-hand and felt for her key in her pocket with the other. She knew which
-was hers and which was her brother’s, because Tom’s had a label fastened
-to it, with his name, whereas her own had none.
-
-“Thanks,” she said, as she turned the key in the lock and raised the
-lid. “Please do not stay here, Mr. Bond, I want to look over a lot of
-things so as to put this I have brought into the right place.”
-
-“Well—if I cannot be of any use,” said John. “I have rather a busy day.
-Please call me to shut the room when you have finished.”
-
-Totty breathed more freely when she was alone. She could hear John cross
-the corridor and enter the private office. A moment later everything was
-quiet. With a quick, stealthy movement, she slipped the other key into
-the box labelled “T. Craik,” turned it and lifted the cover. Her heart
-was beating violently.
-
-Fortunately for her the will was the last paper that had been put with
-the others and lay on the top of them all. The heavy blue envelope was
-sealed and marked “Will,” with the date. Totty turned pale as she held
-it in her hands. She had not the slightest intention of destroying it,
-whatever it might contain, but even to break the seal and read it looked
-very like a criminal act. On the other hand, when she realised that she
-held in her hand the answer to all her questions, and that by a turn of
-the fingers she could satisfy all her boundless curiosity, she knew that
-it was of no use to attempt resistance in the face of such a temptation.
-She realised, indeed, that she would not be able to restore the seal,
-and that she must not hope to hide the fact that somebody had tampered
-with the will, but the thought could not deter her from carrying out her
-intention. As she turned, her sleeve caught on the corner of the box
-which she had inadvertently left open and the lid fell with a sharp
-snap. Instantly John Bond’s footstep was heard in the corridor.
-
-Totty had barely time to withdraw the key from her brother’s box and to
-bury the will under her own papers when John entered the room.
-
-“Oh!” he exclaimed in evident surprise, “I thought I heard you shut your
-box, and that you had finished.”
-
-“No,” said Totty in an unsteady voice, bending her pale face over her
-documents. “The lid fell, but I opened it again. I will call you when I
-come out.”
-
-John returned to his work without any suspicion of what had happened.
-Then Totty extracted a hairpin from the coils of her brown hair and
-tried to lift the seal of the will from the paper to which it was so
-firmly attached. But she only succeeded in damaging it. There was
-nothing to be done but to tear the envelope. Still using her hairpin she
-slit open one end of the cover and drew out the document.
-
-When she knew the contents, her face expressed unbounded surprise. It
-had never entered her head that Tom could leave his money to George Wood
-of all people in the world.
-
-“What a fool I have been!” she exclaimed under her breath.
-
-Then she began to reflect upon the consequences of what she had done,
-and her curiosity being satisfied, her fears began to assume serious
-proportions. Was it a criminal act that she had committed? She gazed
-rather helplessly at the torn envelope. It would be impossible to
-restore it. It would be equally impossible to put the will back into the
-box, loose and unsealed, without her husband’s noticing the fact the
-next time he had occasion to look into Tom Craik’s papers. He would
-remember very well that he had sealed it and marked it on the outside.
-The envelope, at least, must disappear at once. She crumpled it into as
-small a compass as possible and put it into her jacket. It would be very
-simple to burn it as soon as she was at home. But how to dispose of the
-will itself was a much harder matter. She dared not destroy that also,
-for that might turn out to be a deliberate theft, or fraud, or whatever
-the law called such deeds. On the other hand, her brother might ask for
-it at any time and if it were not in the box it could not be
-forthcoming, and her husband would get into trouble. It would be easy
-for Tom to suspect that Sherrington Trimm had destroyed the will, in
-order that his wife, as next of kin and only heir-at-law should get the
-fortune. She thought that, as it was, Tom had shown an extraordinary
-belief in human nature, though when she thought of her husband’s known
-honesty she understood that nobody could mistrust him. He himself would
-doubtless be the first to discover the loss. What would he do? He would
-go to Tom and make him execute a duplicate of the will that was lost.
-Meanwhile, and in case Tom died before Sherrington came back, Totty
-could put the original in some safe place, where she could cause it to
-be found if necessary—behind one of those boxes, for instance, or in
-some corner of the strong room. Nothing that was locked up between those
-four walls could ever be lost. If Tom died, she would of course be told
-that a will had been made and was missing. John Bond would come to her
-in great distress, and she would come down to the office and help in the
-search. The scheme did not look very diplomatic, but she was sure that
-there was nothing else to be done. It was the only way in which she
-could avoid committing a crime while avoiding also the necessity of
-confessing to her husband that she had committed an act of supreme
-folly.
-
-She folded the paper together and looked about the small room for a
-place in which to hide it. As she was looking she thought she heard John
-Bond’s step again. She had no time to lose for she would not be able to
-get rid of him if he entered the strong room a third time. To leave it
-on one of the shelves would be foolish, for it might be found at any
-time. She could see no chink or crack into which to drop it, and John
-was certainly coming. Totty in her desperation thrust the paper into the
-bosom of her dress, shut up her own box noisily and went out.
-
-She thought that John Bond looked at her very curiously when she went
-away, though the impression might well be the result of her own guilty
-fears. As a matter of fact he was surprised by her extreme pallor and
-was on the point of asking if she were ill. But he reflected that the
-strong room was a chilly place and that she might be only feeling cold,
-and he held his tongue.
-
-The paper seemed to burn her, and she longed to be in her own house
-where she could at least lock it up until she could come to some wise
-decision in regard to it. She leaned back in her carriage in an agony of
-nervous fear. What if John Bond should chance to be the one who made the
-discovery? He probably knew of the existence of the will, and he very
-probably had seen it and knew where it was. It was strange that she had
-not thought of that. If, for instance, it happened that he needed to
-look at some of her brother’s papers that very day, would he not notice
-the loss and suspect her? After all, he knew as well as any one what she
-had to gain by destroying the will, if he knew what it contained. How
-much better it would have been to put it back in its place even without
-the envelope! How much better anything would be than to feel that she
-might be found out by John Bond!
-
-She was already far up town, but in her distress she did not recognise
-her whereabouts, and leaning forward slightly looked through the window.
-As fate would have it, the only person near the carriage in the street
-was George Wood, who had recognised it and was trying to get a glimpse
-of herself. When he saw her, he bowed and smiled, just as he always did.
-Totty nodded hastily and fell back into her seat. A feeling of sickening
-despair came over her, and she closed her eyes.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-George Wood’s reputation spread rapidly. He had arrested the attention
-of the public, and the public was both ready and willing to be amused by
-him. He had finished the second of his books soon after the appearance
-of the first, and he had found no difficulty in selling the manuscript
-outright upon his own terms. It was published about the time when the
-events took place which have been described in the last chapter, and it
-obtained a wide success. It was, indeed, wholly different from its
-predecessor in character and presented a strong contrast to it. The
-first had been full of action, passionate, strange, unlike the books of
-the day. The second was the result of much thought and lacked almost
-altogether the qualities that had given such phenomenal popularity to
-the first. It was a calm book, almost destitute of plot and of dramatic
-incidents. It had been polished and adorned to the best of the young
-writer’s ability, he had put into it the most refined of his thoughts,
-he had filled it with the sayings of characters more than half ideal. He
-had believed in it while he was writing it, but he was disappointed with
-it when it was finished. He had intended to bind together a nosegay of
-sweet-scented flowers about a central rose, and when he had finished,
-his nosegay seemed to him artificial, the blossoms looked to him as
-though they were without stems, tied to dry sticks, and the scent of
-them had no freshness for his nostrils. Nevertheless he knew that he had
-given to his work all that he possessed of beauty and refinement in the
-storehouse of his mind, and he looked upon the venture as final in
-deciding his future career. It is worse to meet with failure on the
-publication of a second book, when the first has taken the world by
-surprise, than it is to fail altogether at the very beginning. Many a
-polished scholar has produced one good volume; many a refined and
-spiritual intelligence has painted one lovely scene and dropped the
-brushes for ever, or taken them up only to blotch and blur incongruous
-colours upon a spiritless outline, searching with blind eyes for the
-light that shone but once and can never shine again. Many have shot one
-arrow in the air and have hit the central mark, whose fingers scarce
-knew how to hold the bow. The first trial is one of half-reasoned,
-half-inspired talent; the second shows the artist’s hand; the third and
-all that follow are works done in the competition between master and
-master, to which neither apprentice nor idle lover of the art can be
-admitted. He whose first great effort has been successful, and whose
-second disappoints no one but himself, may safely feel that he has found
-out his element and known his own strength. He will perhaps turn out
-only a dull master at his craft as years go on, or he may be but a
-second-rate artist, but his apprenticeship has been completed and he
-will henceforth be judged by the same standard as other artists and
-masters.
-
-George Wood had followed his own instinct in lavishing so much care and
-thought and pains upon the book that was now to appear, and his instinct
-had not deceived him, though when he saw the result he feared that he
-had made the great false step that is irretrievable. Though many were
-ready to accept his work on any terms he was pleased to name, yet he
-held back his manuscript for many weeks, hesitating to give it to the
-world. The memory of his first enthusiasms blended in his mind with the
-beauties of tales yet untold and darkened in his eyes the polish of the
-present work. Constance admired it exceedingly, saying that, although
-nothing could ever be to her like the first, this was so different in
-every way, and yet so good, that no unpleasant comparisons could be made
-between the two. Then George took it to Johnson who kept it a long time
-and would give no opinion about it until he had read every word it
-contained.
-
-“This settles it,” he said at last.
-
-“For better or for worse?” George asked, looking at the pale young man’s
-earnest face.
-
-“For better,” Johnson answered without hesitation. “You are a novelist.
-It is not so broad as a church-door, nor so deep as a well—but it will
-serve. You will never regret having published it.”
-
-So the book went to the press and in due time appeared, was tasted,
-criticised and declared to be good by a majority of judges, was taken up
-by the public, was discussed, liked and obtained a large sale. George
-was congratulated by all his friends in terms of the greatest enthusiasm
-and he received so many invitations to dinner as made him feel that
-either his digestion or his career, or both, must perish in the attempt
-to cope with them. The dinner-party of to-day, considered as the reward
-of merit and the expression of good feeling, is no novelty in the
-history of the world’s society. Little Benjamin was expected to eat
-twelve times as much as any of his big brothers because Joseph liked
-him, and the successful man of to-day is often treated with the same
-kindly, though destructive liberality. No one would think it enough to
-ask him to tea and overwhelm him with the praises of a select circle of
-fashionable people. He must be made to eat in order that he may
-understand from the fulness of his own stomach the fulness of his
-admirer’s heart. To heap good things upon the plate of genius has been
-in all times considered the most practical way of expressing the public
-admiration—and in times not long past there was indeed a practical
-reason for such expression of goodwill, in that genius was liable to be
-very hungry even after it had been universally acknowledged. The world
-has more than once bowed down from a respectful distance, to the
-possessor of a glorious intelligence, who in his heart would have
-preferred a solid portion of bread and cheese to the perishable garlands
-of flowers scattered at his feet, or to the less corruptible monuments
-of bronze and stone upon which his countrymen were ready to lavish their
-gold after he was dead of starvation.
-
-A change has come over the world of late, and it may be that writers
-themselves have been the cause of it. It is certain that since those who
-live by the pen have made it their business to amuse rather than to
-admonish and instruct their substance has been singularly increased and
-their path has been made enviably smooth. Their shadows not only wax and
-follow the outlines of a pleasant rotundity, but they are cast upon
-marble pavements, inlaid floors and Eastern carpets, instead of upon the
-dingy walls and greasy mud of Grub Street. The star of the public amuser
-is in the ascendant, and his “Part of Fortune” is high in the
-mid-heaven.
-
-It has been said that nothing succeeds like success, and George very
-soon began to find out the truth of the saying. He was ignorant of the
-strange possibilities of wealth that were in store for him, and the
-present was sufficient for all his desires, and far exceeded his former
-hopes. The days were gone by when he had looked upon his marriage with
-Constance Fearing as a delicious vision that could never be realised,
-and to contemplate which, even without hope, seemed to be a dangerous
-piece of presumption. He had now a future before him, brilliant,
-perhaps, but assuredly honourable and successful. At his age and with
-his health and strength the possibility of his being broken down by
-overwork or illness did not present itself to him, and, if it had, he
-could very well have afforded to disregard it in making his
-calculations. The world’s face showed him one glorious catalogue of
-hopes and he felt that he was the man to realise them all.
-
-And now, too, the first of May was approaching again and he looked
-forward to receiving a final answer from Constance. Her manner had
-changed little towards him during the winter, but he thought that little
-had been for the better. He never doubted, now, that she was most
-sincerely attached to him nor that it depended on anything but her own
-fancy, to give a name to that attachment and call it love. Surely the
-trial had lasted long enough, surely she must know her own mind now,
-after so many months of waiting. It was two years since he had first
-told her that he loved her, a year had passed away since she had
-admitted that she loved him a little, and now the second year, the one
-she had asked for as a period of probation had spent itself likewise,
-bringing with it for George the first great success of his life and
-doubling, trebling his chances of happiness. His growing reputation was
-a bond between them, of which they had forged every link together. Her
-praise had stimulated his strength, her delicate and refined taste had
-often guided the choice of his thoughts, his power of language had found
-words for what was in the hearts of both. George could no more fancy
-himself as working without consulting Constance than he could imagine
-what life would be without sight or hearing. Her charm was upon him and
-penetrated all he did, her beauty was the light by which he saw other
-women, her voice the music that made harmony of all other sounds. He
-loved her now, as women have rarely been loved, for love had taken root
-in his noble and generous nature, as a rare seed in a virgin soil,
-beautiful from the first and gaining beauty as it grew in strength and
-fulness of proportion. His heart had never been disturbed before, by
-anything resembling true passion, there were no reminiscences to choke
-the new growth, no dry and withered stems about which the new love must
-twine itself until its spreading leaves and clasping tendrils made a
-rich foliage to cover the dead tree. He, she, the world, love,
-reputation, were all young together, all young and fresh, and full of
-the power to grow. To think that the prospect of such happiness should
-be blighted, the hope of such perfect bliss disappointed was beyond the
-power of George’s imagination.
-
-The time was drawing near when he was to have his answer. He had often
-done violence to himself of late in abstaining from all question of her
-love. Earlier in the year he had once or twice returned to his old way
-of talking with her, but she had seemed displeased and had put him off,
-answering that the first of May was time enough and that she would tell
-him then. He had no means of knowing what was passing in her mind, for
-she was almost always the same Constance he had known so long, gentle,
-sympathising, ready with encouragement, enthusiastic concerning what he
-did well, suggestive when he was in doubt, thoughtful when his taste did
-not agree with hers. Looking back upon those long months of intimacy
-George knew that she had never bound herself, never uttered a promise of
-any sort, never directly given him to understand that she would consent
-to be his wife. And yet her whole life seemed to him to have been one
-promise since he had known her and it was treason, in his judgment, to
-suspect her of insincerity.
-
-In the last days of April, he saw less of her than usual, though he
-could scarcely tell why. More than once, when he had hoped to find her
-alone, there had been visitors with her, or her sister had been present,
-and he had not been able to exchange a word with her without being
-overheard. Indeed, when Grace was established in the room he generally
-made his visits as short as possible. There was something in the
-atmosphere of the house, too, that filled him with evil forebodings.
-Constance often seemed abstracted and preoccupied; there appeared to be
-a better understanding between the sisters in regard to himself than
-formerly, and Grace’s manner had changed. In the old days of their
-acquaintance she had taken little pains to conceal her dislike after she
-had once made up her mind that George loved her sister, her greeting had
-been almost haughty, her words had been few and generally ironical, her
-satisfaction at his departure needlessly apparent. During the last month
-she had relaxed the severity of her behaviour, instead of treating him
-more harshly as he had expected and secretly hoped. With the unerring
-instinct of a man who loves deeply, concerning every one except the
-object of his love, George had read the signs of the times in the face
-of his old enemy, and distrusted her increasing benignity. She, at
-least, had come to the conclusion that Constance would not marry him,
-and seeing that the necessity for destruction was decreasing, she
-allowed the sun of her smiles to penetrate the dark storm-clouds of her
-sullen anger. George would have preferred any convulsion of the elements
-to this threatened calm.
-
-Constance Fearing was in great distress of mind. She had not forgotten
-the date, nor had she any intention of letting it pass without
-fulfilling her engagement and giving George the definite answer he had
-so patiently expected. The difficulty was, to know what that answer
-should be. Her indecision could not be ascribed to her indolence in
-studying the question. It had been constantly before her, demanding
-immediate solution and tormenting her with its difficulties throughout
-many long months. Her conscientious love of truth had forced her to
-examine it much more closely than she would have chosen to do had she
-yielded to her inclinations. Her own happiness was no doubt vitally
-concerned, but the consideration of absolute loyalty and honesty must be
-first and before all things. The tremendous importance of the conclusion
-now daily more imminent appalled her and frightened her out of her
-simplicity into the mazes of a vicious logic; and she found the
-labyrinth of her difficulties further complicated in that its ways were
-intersected by the by-paths of her religious meditations. When her
-reason began to grow clear, she suddenly found it opposed to some one of
-a set of infallible rules by which she had undertaken to guide her whole
-existence. To-day she prayed to heaven, and grace was given her to marry
-George. To-morrow she would examine her heart and ascertain that she
-could never love him as he deserved. Could she marry him when he was to
-give so much and she had so little to offer? That would be manifestly
-wrong; but in that case why had her prayer seemed to be answered so
-distinctly by an impulse from the heart? She was evidently not in a
-state of grace, since she was inspired to do what was wrong. Selfishness
-must be at the bottom of it, and selfishness, as it was the sin about
-which she knew most, was the one within her comprehension which she the
-most sincerely abhorred. But if her impulse to marry George was selfish,
-was it not the direct utterance of her heart, and might this not be the
-only case in life in which she might frankly follow her own wishes?
-George loved her most truly. If she felt that she wished to marry him,
-was it not because she loved him? There was the point, again,
-confronting her just where she had begun the round of self-torture. Did
-she love him? What was the test of true love? Would she die for him?
-Dying for people was theatrical and out of fashion, as she had often
-been told. It was much more noble to live for those one loved than to
-die for them. Could she live for George? What did the words mean? Had
-she not lived for him, said her heart, during the last year, if not
-longer? What nonsense, exclaimed her reason—as if giving a little
-encouragement and a great deal of advice could be called living for a
-man! It meant more than that, it meant so much to her that she felt sure
-she could never accomplish it. Therefore she did not love him, and it
-must all come to an end at once.
-
-She reproached herself bitterly for her weakness that had lasted so
-long. She was a mere flirt, a heartless girl who had ruined a man’s life
-and happiness recklessly, because she did not know her own mind. She
-would be brave now, at last, before it was quite too late. She would
-confess her fault and tell him how despicable she thought herself, how
-she repented of her evil ways, how she would be his best and firmest
-friend, his sister, anything that she could be to him, except his wife.
-He would be hurt, pained, heartbroken for a while, but he would see how
-much better it had been to speak the truth.
-
-But in the midst of her passionate self-accusation, the thought of her
-own state after she should have put him away for ever, presented itself
-with painful distinctness. Whether she loved him or not, he was a part
-of her life and she felt that she could not do without him. For one
-moment she allowed herself to think of his face if she told him that she
-consented to their union at last, she could see the happy smile she
-loved so well and hear the vibrating tones of the voice that moved her
-more than other voices. Then, to her inexpressible shame, there arose
-before her visions of another kind, and notably the face of Johnson, the
-hardworking critic. All at once George seemed to be surrounded by a host
-of people whom she did not know and whom she did not want to know, men
-whom, as she remembered to have thought before, she would not have
-wished to see at her table, yet friends of his, faithful friends—Johnson
-was one at least—to whom he owed much and whom he would not allow to
-slip out of his existence because he had married Constance Fearing. She
-blushed scarlet, though she was alone, and passionate tears of anger at
-herself burst from her eyes. To think of that miserable consideration,
-she must be the most contemptible of women. Truly, the baseness of the
-human heart was unfathomable and shore-less as the ocean of space
-itself! Truly, she did not love him, if she could think such thoughts,
-and she must tell him so, cost what it might.
-
-The last night came, preceding the day on which she had promised to give
-him her decisive answer. She had written him a word to say that he was
-expected, and she sat down in her own room to fight the struggle over
-again for the last time. The morrow was to decide, she thought, and yet
-it was impossible to come to any conclusion. Why had she not set the
-period at two years instead of one? Surely, in twelve months more she
-would have known her own mind, or at least have seen what course to
-pursue. Step by step she advanced once more into the sea of her
-difficulties, striving to keep her intelligence free from prejudice, and
-yet hoping that her heart would speak clearly. But it was of no use, the
-labyrinth was more confused than ever, the light less, and her strength
-more unsteady. If she thought, it seemed as though her thoughts would
-drive her mad, if she prayed, her prayers were confused and senseless.
-
-“I cannot marry him, I cannot, I cannot!” she cried at last, utterly
-worn out with fatigue and anxiety.
-
-She threw herself upon her pillows and tried to rest, while her own
-words still rang in her ears. She slept a little and she uttered the
-same cry in her sleep. By force of conscious and unconscious repetition
-of the phrase, it became mechanised and imposed itself upon her will.
-When the morning broke, she knew that she had resolved not to marry
-George Wood, and that her resolution was irrevocable.
-
-To tell him so was a very different matter. She grew cold as she thought
-of the scene that was before her, and became conscious that her nerves
-were not equal to such a strain. She fancied that the decision she had
-reached had been the result of her strength in her struggle with
-herself. In reality she had succumbed to her own weakness and had
-abandoned the contest, feeling that it was easier to do anything
-negative rather than to commit herself to a bondage from which she might
-some day wish to escape when it should be too late. With a little more
-firmness of character she would have been able to shake off her doubts
-and to see that she really loved George very sincerely, and that to
-hesitate was to sacrifice everything to a morbid fear of offending her
-now over-delicate conscience. Even now, if she could have known herself,
-she would have realised that she had by no means given up all love for
-the man who loved her, nor all expectation of ultimately becoming his
-wife. She would have behaved very differently if she had been sure that
-she was burning her ships and cutting off all possibility of a return,
-or if she had known the character of the man with whom she had to deal.
-She had passed through a sort of nervous crisis, and her resolution was
-in the main, a concession to her desire to gain time. In making it she
-had thrown down her arms and given up the fight. The reaction that
-followed made it seem impossible for her to face such a scene as must
-ensue.
-
-At first it struck her that the best way of getting out of the
-difficulty would be to write to George and tell him her decision in as
-few words as possible, begging him to come and see her a week later,
-when she would do her best to explain to him the many and good reasons
-which had contributed to the present result. This idea, however, she
-soon abandoned. It would seem most unkind to deal such a blow so
-suddenly and then expect him to wait so long before enlightening him
-further upon the subject. Face him herself, she could not. She might be
-weak, she thought, and she was willing to admit it; it was only to add
-another unworthiness to the long list with which she was ready to accuse
-herself. She could not, and she would not tell George herself. The only
-person who could undertake to bear her message was Grace.
-
-She felt very kindly disposed to Grace, that morning. There was a
-satisfaction in feeling that she could think of any one without the
-necessity of considering the question of her marriage. Besides, Grace
-had opposed her increasing liking for George from the beginning, and had
-warned her that she would never marry him. Grace had been quite right,
-and as Constance was feeling particularly humble just then, she thought
-it would be agreeable to her pride, if she confessed the superiority of
-Grace’s judgment. She could accuse herself before her sister of all her
-misdeeds without the fear of witnessing George’s violent grief. Moreover
-it would be better for George, too, since, he would be obliged to
-contain himself when speaking to her sister as he would certainly not
-control his feelings in an interview with herself. To be short,
-Constance was willing in that moment to be called a coward, rather than
-face the man she had wronged. Her courage had failed her altogether and
-she was being carried rapidly down stream from one concession to
-another, while still trying to give an air of rectitude and
-self-sacrifice to all her actions. She was preparing an abyss of
-well-merited self-contempt for herself in the future, though her present
-satisfaction in her release from responsibility had dulled her real
-sense of right and had left only the artificialities of her morbid
-conscience still sensitive to the flattery of imaginary self-sacrifice.
-
-An hour later she was alone with her sister. She had greeted her in an
-unusually affectionate way on entering the room, and the younger girl
-immediately felt that something had taken place. She herself was
-smiling, and cordial in her manner.
-
-“Grace, dearest,” Constance began, after some little hesitation, “I want
-to tell you. You have talked so much about Mr. Wood—you know, you have
-always been afraid that I would marry him, have you not?”
-
-“Not lately,” answered Grace with a pleasant smile.
-
-“Well—do you know? I have thought very seriously of it, and I had
-decided to give him a definite answer to-day. Do you understand? I have
-treated him abominably, Grace—oh, I am so sorry! I wish it could all be
-undone—you were so right!”
-
-“It is not too late,” observed Grace. Then, seeing that there were tears
-in her sister’s eyes, she drew nearer to her and put her arm round her
-waist in a comforting way. “Do not be so unhappy, Conny,” she said in a
-tone of deep sympathy. “Men do not break their hearts nowadays——”
-
-“Oh, but he will, Grace! I am sure he will—and the worst of it is that I
-must—you know——”
-
-“Not at all, dear. If you like I will break it to him——”
-
-“Oh, Grace, what a darling you are!” cried Constance, throwing both her
-arms round her sister’s neck and kissing her. “I did not dare to ask
-you, and I could not, I could not have done it myself! But you will do
-it very kindly, will you not? You know he has been so good and patient.”
-
-There was an odd smile on Grace’s strong face when she answered, but
-Constance was not in a mood to notice anything disagreeable just then.
-
-“I will break it to him very gently,” said the young girl quietly. “Of
-course you must tell me what I am to say, more or less—an idea, you
-know. I cannot say bluntly that you have sent word that you have decided
-not to marry him, can I?”
-
-“Oh no!” exclaimed Constance, suddenly growing very grave. “You must
-tell him that I feel towards him just as I always did——”
-
-“Is that true?”
-
-“Of course. I always told him that I did not love him enough to marry
-him. You may as well know it all. A year ago, he proposed again—well,
-yes, it was not the first time. I told him that if on the first of
-May—this first of May—I loved him better than I did then, I would marry
-him. Well, I have thought about it, again and again, all the time, and I
-am sure I do not love him as I ought, if I were to marry him.”
-
-“I should think not,” laughed Grace, “if it is so hard to find it out!”
-
-“Oh, you must not laugh at me,” said Constance earnestly. “It is very,
-very serious. Have I done right, Grace? I wish I knew! I have treated
-him so cruelly, so hatefully, and yet I did not mean to. I am so fond of
-him, I admire him so much, I like his ways—and all—I do still, you know.
-It is quite true. I suppose I ought to be ashamed of it—only, I am sure
-I never did love him, really.”
-
-“I have no idea of laughing at the affair,” answered Grace. “It is
-serious enough, I am sure, especially for him.”
-
-“Yes—I want to make a confession to you. I want to tell you that you
-were quite right, that I have encouraged him and led him on and been
-dreadfully unkind. I am sure you think I am a mere flirt, and perfectly
-heartless! Is it not true? Well, I am, and it is of no use to deny it. I
-will never, never, do such a thing again—never! But after all, I do like
-him very much. I never could understand why you hated him so, from the
-first.”
-
-“I did not hate him. I do not hate him now,” said Grace emphatically. “I
-did hate the idea of his marrying you, and I do still. I thought it was
-just as well that he should see that from the way one member of the
-family behaved towards him.”
-
-“He did see it!” exclaimed Constance in a tone of regret. “It is another
-of the things I inflicted on him.”
-
-“You? I should rather think it was I——”
-
-“No, it was all my fault, all, everything, from beginning to end—and you
-are a darling, Gracey dear, and it is so sweet of you. You will be very
-good to him? Yes—and if he should want to see me very much, after you
-have told him everything, I might come down for a minute. I should so
-much like to be sure that he has taken it kindly.”
-
-“If you wish it, you might see him—but I hardly think—well, do as you
-think best, dear.”
-
-“Thank you, darling—you know you really are a darling, though I do not
-always tell you so. And now, I think I will go and lie down. I never
-slept last night.”
-
-“Silly child!” laughed Grace, kissing her on both cheeks. “As though it
-mattered so much, after all.”
-
-“Oh, but it does matter,” Constance said regretfully as she left the
-room.
-
-When Grace Fearing was alone she went to the window and looked out
-thoughtfully into the fresh, morning air.
-
-“I am very glad,” she said aloud to herself. “I am very, very glad. But
-I would not have done it. No, not for worlds! I would rather cut off my
-right hand than treat a man like that!”
-
-In that moment she pitied George Wood with all her heart.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIII.
-
-
-When George entered the drawing-room he was surprised to find Grace
-there instead of Constance, and it was with difficulty that he repressed
-a nervous movement of annoyance. On that day of all others he had no
-desire to meet Grace Fearing, and though he imagined that her presence
-was accidental and that he had come before the appointed time he felt
-something more of resentment against the young girl than usual. He made
-the best of the situation, however, and put on a brave face, considering
-that, after all, when the happiness of a lifetime is to be decided, a
-delay of five minutes should not be thought too serious an affair.
-
-Grace rose to receive him and, coming forward, held his hand in hers a
-second or two longer than would have been enough under ordinary
-circumstances. Her face was very grave and her deep brown eyes looked
-with an expression of profound sympathy into those of her visitor.
-George felt his heart sink under the anticipation of bad news.
-
-“Is anything the matter, Miss Fearing?” he inquired anxiously. “Is your
-sister ill?”
-
-“No. She is not ill. Sit down, Mr. Wood. I have something to say to
-you.”
-
-George felt an acute presentiment of evil, and sat down in such a
-position with regard to the light that he could see Grace’s face better
-than she could see his.
-
-“What is it?” he asked in a tone of constraint.
-
-The young girl paused a moment, moved in her seat, which she had
-selected in the corner of a sofa, rested one elbow on the mahogany
-scroll that rose at the end of the old-fashioned piece of furniture,
-supported her beautifully moulded chin upon the half-closed fingers of
-her white hand and gazed upon George with a look of inquiring sympathy.
-There was nothing of nervousness nor timidity in Grace Fearing’s nature.
-She knew what she was going to do and she meant to do it thoroughly,
-calmly, pitilessly if necessary.
-
-“My sister has asked me to talk with you,” she began, in her smooth,
-deep voice. “She is very unhappy and she is not able to bear any more
-than she has borne already.”
-
-George’s face darkened, for he knew what was coming now, as though it
-were already said. He opened his lips to speak, but checked himself,
-reflecting that he did not know the extent of Grace’s information.
-
-“I am very, very sorry,” she continued, earnestly. “I need not explain
-matters. I know all that has happened. Constance was to have given you a
-final answer to-day. She could not bear to do so herself.”
-
-Grace paused an instant, and if George had been less agitated than he
-was, he would have seen that her full lips curled a little as she spoke
-the last words.
-
-“She has thought it all over,” she concluded. “She does not love you,
-and she can never be your wife.”
-
-There was a long pause. Grace changed her position, leaning far back
-among the cushions and clasping her hands upon her knees. At the same
-time she ceased to look at the young man’s face, and let her sight
-wander to the various objects on the other side of the room.
-
-In the first moment, George’s heart stood still. Then it began to beat
-furiously, though it seemed as though its pulsations had lost the power
-of propelling the blood from its central seat. He kept his position,
-motionless and outwardly calm, but his dark face grew slowly white,
-leaving only black circles about his gleaming eyes, and his scornful
-mouth gradually set itself like stone. He was silent, for no words
-suggested themselves to his lips, now, though they had seemed too ready
-a moment earlier.
-
-Grace felt that she must say something more. She was perfectly conscious
-of his state, and if she had been capable of fear she would have been
-frightened by the magnitude of his silent anger.
-
-“I have known that this would come,” she said, softly. “I know Constance
-better than you can. A very long time ago, I told her that at the last
-minute she would refuse you. She is very unhappy. She begged me to say
-all this as gently as possible. She made me promise to tell you that she
-felt towards you just as she had always felt, that she hoped to see you
-very often, that she felt towards you as a sister——”
-
-“This is too much!” exclaimed George in low and angry tones. Then
-forgetting himself altogether, he rose from his seat quickly and went
-towards the door.
-
-Grace was on her feet as quickly as he.
-
-“Stop!” she cried in a voice not loud, but of which the tone somehow
-imposed upon the angry man.
-
-He turned suddenly and faced her as though he were at bay, but she met
-his look calmly and her eyes did not fall before his.
-
-“You shall not go away like this,” she said.
-
-“Pardon me,” he answered. “I think it is the best thing I can do.” There
-was something almost like a laugh in the bitterness of his tone.
-
-“I think not,” replied Grace with much dignity.
-
-“Can you have anything more to say to me, Miss Fearing? You, of all
-people? Are you not satisfied?”
-
-“I do not understand you, and from the tone in which you speak, I would
-rather not. You are very angry, and you have reason to be—heaven knows!
-But you are wrong in being angry with me.”
-
-“Am I?” George asked, recovering some control of his voice and manner.
-“I am at least wrong in showing it,” he added, a moment later. “Do you
-wish me to stay here?”
-
-“A few minutes longer, if you will be so kind,” Grace answered, sitting
-down again, though George remained standing before her. “You are wrong
-to be angry with me, Mr. Wood. I have only repeated to you my sister’s
-words. I have done my best to tell you the truth as gently as possible.”
-
-“I do not doubt it. Your mission is not an easy one. Why did your sister
-not tell me the truth herself? Is she afraid of me?”
-
-“Do you think it would have been any easier to bear, if she had told
-you?”
-
-“Yes.”
-
-“Why?” Grace asked.
-
-“Because it is better to hear such things directly than at second hand.
-Because it is easier to bear such words when they are spoken by those we
-love, than by those who hate us. Because when hearts are to be broken it
-is braver to do it oneself than to employ a third person.”
-
-“You do not know what you are saying. I never hated you.”
-
-“Miss Fearing,” said George, who was rapidly becoming exasperated beyond
-endurance, “will you allow me to take my leave?”
-
-“I never hated you,” Grace repeated without heeding his question. “I
-never liked you, and I never was afraid to show it. But I respect
-you—no, do not interrupt—I respect you, more than I did, because I have
-found out that you have more heart than I had believed. I admire you as
-everybody admires you, for what you do so well. And I am sorry for you,
-more sorry than I can tell. If you would have my friendship, I would
-offer it to you—indeed you have it already, from to-day.”
-
-“I am deeply indebted to you,” George answered very coldly.
-
-“You need not even make a show of thanking me. I have done you no
-service, and I should regret it very much if Constance married you. Do
-not look surprised. My only virtue is honesty, and when I have such
-things to say you think that is no virtue at all. I thought very badly
-of you once. Forgive me, if you can. I have changed my mind. I have
-neither said nor done anything for a long time to influence my sister,
-not for nearly a year. Do you believe me?”
-
-George was beginning to be very much surprised at Grace’s tone. He was
-too much under the influence of a great emotion to reason with himself,
-but the truthfulness of her manner spoke to his heart. If she had
-condoled with him, or tried to comfort him, he would have been
-disgusted, but her straightforward confession of her own feelings
-produced a different effect.
-
-“I believe you,” he said, wondering how he could sincerely answer such a
-statement with such words.
-
-“Thank you, you are generous.” Grace rose again, and put out her hand.
-“Do you care to see her, before you go?” she asked, looking into his
-eyes. “I will send her to you, if you wish it.”
-
-“Yes,” George answered, after a moment’s hesitation. “I will see
-her—please.”
-
-He was left alone for a few minutes. Though the sun was streaming in
-through the window, he felt cold as he had never felt cold in his life.
-His anger had, he believed, subsided, but the sensation it had left
-behind was new and strange to him. He turned as he stood and his glance
-fell upon Constance’s favourite chair, the seat in which she had sat so
-often and so long while he had talked with her. Then he felt a sudden
-pain, so sharp that it might have seemed the last in life, and he
-steadied himself by leaning on the table. It was as though he had seen
-the fair young girl lying dead in that place she loved. But she was not
-dead. It was worse. Then his great wrath surged up again, sending the
-blood tingling through his sinewy frame to the tips of his strong
-fingers, and bringing a different mood with it, and a sterner humour. He
-was a very masculine man, incapable of being long crushed by any blow.
-He was sorry, now, that he had asked to see her. Had he felt thus five
-minutes earlier, he would have declined Grace’s offer and would have
-left the house, meaning never to re-enter it. But it was too late and he
-could no longer avoid the meeting.
-
-At that moment the door opened, and Constance stood before him. Her face
-was pale and there were traces of tears upon her cheeks. But he was not
-moved to pity by any such outward signs of past emotion. She came and
-stood before him, and laid one delicate hand upon his sleeve, looking up
-timidly to his eyes. He did not move, and his expression did not change.
-
-“Can you forgive me?” she asked in a trembling voice.
-
-“No,” he answered, bitterly. “Why should I forgive you?”
-
-“I know I have not deserved your forgiveness,” she said, piteously. “I
-have been very, very wrong—I have done the worst thing I ever did in my
-life—I have been heartless, unkind, cruel, wicked—but—but I never meant
-to be——”
-
-“It is small consolation to me to know that you did not mean it.”
-
-“Oh, do not be so hard!” she cried, the tears rising in her voice. “I
-did not mean it so. I never promised you anything—indeed I never did!”
-
-“It must be a source of sincere satisfaction, to feel that your
-conscience is clear.”
-
-“But it is not—I want to tell you all—Grace has not told you—I like you
-as much as ever, there is no difference—I am still fond of you, still
-very fond of you!”
-
-“Thanks.”
-
-“Oh, George, are you a stone? Will nothing move you? Cannot you see how
-I am suffering?”
-
-“Yes. I see.” He neither moved, nor bent his head. His lips opened and
-shut mechanically as though they were made of steel. She looked up again
-into his face and his expression terrified her.
-
-She turned away, slowly at first, as though in despair. Then with a
-sudden movement she threw herself upon the sofa and buried her face in
-the cushions, while a violent fit of sobbing shook her light frame from
-head to foot. George stood still, watching her with stony eyes. For a
-full minute nothing was audible but the sound of her weeping.
-
-“You are so cold,” she sobbed. “Oh, George, you will break my heart!”
-
-“You seem to be chiefly overcome by pity for yourself,” he answered
-cruelly. “If you have anything else to say, I will wait. If not——”
-
-She roused herself and sat up, the tears streaming down her cheeks, her
-hands clasped passionately together.
-
-“Oh, do not go! Do not go—it kills me to let you go.”
-
-“Do you think it would? In that case I will stay a little longer.” He
-turned away and went to the window. For some minutes there was silence
-in the room.
-
-“George——” Constance began timidly. George turned sharply round.
-
-“I am here. Can I do anything for you, Miss Fearing?”
-
-“Cannot you say you forgive me? Can you not say one kind word?”
-
-“Indeed, I should find it very hard.”
-
-Constance had recovered herself to some extent, and sat staring vacantly
-across the room, while the tears slowly dried upon her cheeks. Her
-courage and her pride were alike gone, and she looked the very picture
-of repentance and despair. But George’s heart had been singularly
-hardened during the half-hour or more which he had spent in her house
-that day. Presently she began speaking in a slow, almost monotonous
-tone, as though she were talking with herself.
-
-“I have been very bad,” she said, “and I know it, but I have always told
-the truth. I never loved you enough, I never cared for you as you
-deserved. Did I not tell you so? Oh yes, very often—too often. I should
-not have told you even that I cared a little. You are the best friend I
-ever had—why have I lost you by loving you a little? It seems very hard.
-It is not that you must forgive, it is that I should have told you so
-that I should—you kissed me once—it was not your fault. I let you do it.
-There seemed so little harm—and yet it was so wrong. And once, because
-there was pain in your face, I kissed you, as I would have kissed my
-sister. I was so fond of you—I am still, although you are so cruel and
-cold. I did think—I really hoped that I should love you some day. You do
-not believe me? What does it matter! You will, for I always told you
-what was true—but that is it—I hoped, and I let you see that I hoped. It
-was very wrong. Will you try—only try to forgive me?”
-
-“Do you not think it would be better if you would let me leave you, Miss
-Fearing?” George asked, coming suddenly forward. “It can do very little
-good to talk this matter over.”
-
-“Miss Fearing!” exclaimed the young girl with a sigh. “It is so long
-since you called me that! Do you want to go? How should I keep you? Only
-this, will you think kindly of me, sometimes? Will you sometimes think
-that I helped you—only a little—to be what you are? Will you say
-‘Good-bye, Constance,’ a little kindly?”
-
-George was moved in spite of himself, and his voice was softer when he
-answered her.
-
-“Of what use is it, to speak of these things? You know all that you have
-been to me in these years, better than I can tell you. It turns out that
-I have been nothing to you—well, then——”
-
-“Nothing to me! Oh George, you have been everything—my best friend——”
-She stopped short.
-
-His heart hardened again. It seemed to him that every word she spoke was
-in direct contradiction to her action.
-
-“Will you tell me one thing?” he asked, after a pause during which she
-seemed to be on the point of bursting into tears again.
-
-“Anything you ask me,” she answered.
-
-“Have you come to this decision yourself, or has your sister influenced
-you?” His eyes sought hers and tried to read her inmost thoughts.
-
-“It is my own resolution,” she answered without wavering. “Grace has not
-spoken of my marrying you for more than a year.”
-
-“I am glad that it is altogether from your own heart——”
-
-“Can you think that I would have taken the advice of some one else?”
-Constance asked, reproachfully.
-
-“I do not know. It matters very little, after all. Pardon me if I have
-been rude or hasty. My manners may have been a little ruffled by
-this—this occurrence. Good-bye.”
-
-She took his hand and tried to press it, looking again for his eyes. But
-he drew his fingers away quickly and was gone before she could detain
-him. For one moment she sat staring at the closed door. Then she once
-more hid her face in the deep soft cushions and sobbed aloud, more
-passionately than the first time.
-
-“Oh, I know I ought to have married him, I know I really love him!” she
-moaned.
-
-And so the first act of Constance Fearing’s life comedy was played out
-and the curtain fell between her and the happiness to grasp which she
-lacked either the will or the passion, or both. She had acted her part
-with a sincerity so scrupulous that it was like a parody of truth. She
-had thought of marrying George Wood with delight, she had broken with
-him in the midst of what might be called a crisis of doubt, and she had
-parted from him with sincere and bitter tears, feeling that she had
-sacrificed all she held dear in the world to the ferocious Moloch of her
-conscience.
-
-To follow the action of her intelligence any farther through the mazes
-of the labyrinth into which she had led it would be a labour so
-stupendous that no sensible person could for a moment contemplate the
-possibility of performing the task, and for the present Constance
-Fearing must be left to her tears, her meditations, and her complicated
-state of mind with such pity as can be spared for her weaknesses and
-such kind thoughts as may be bestowed by the charitable upon her gentle
-character. It will be easier to understand the strong passion and the
-bitter disappointment which agitated George Wood’s powerful nature
-during the hours which followed the scenes just described.
-
-His day was indeed not over yet, though he felt as though the sun had
-gone down upon his life before it was yet noon. He was neither morbid
-nor self-conscious, nor did he follow after the chimera introspection.
-He was simply and savagely angry with Constance, with himself, with the
-whole known and unknown world. For the time, he forgot who he was, what
-he was, and all that he had done or that he might be expected to do in
-the future. He knew that Constance had spoken the truth in saying that
-she had promised nothing. The greater madman he, to have expected
-anything whatever! He knew that her whole life and conversation had been
-one long promise during nearly two years—the more despicably heartless
-and altogether contemptible she was, then, for since she had spoken what
-was true she had acted what was a lie from beginning to end. Forgive
-her? He had given her his only answer. Why should he forgive her? Were
-there any extenuating circumstances in her favour? Not one—and if there
-had been, he knew that he would have torn that one to tatters till it
-was unrecognisable to his sense of justice. Her tears, her pathetic
-voice, her timidity, even her pale face—they had all been parts of the
-play, harmonic chords in the grand close of lies that had ended her
-symphony of deception. She had even prepared his ears by sending Grace
-to him with her warm, sympathetic eyes, her rich, deep voice and her
-tale of spontaneous friendship. It was strange that he should have
-believed the other girl, even for one moment, but he admitted that he
-had put some faith in her words. How poor a thing was the strongest man
-when desperately hurt, ready to believe in the first mockery of sympathy
-that was offered him, ready to catch at the mere shadow of a straw blown
-by the wind! Doubtless the two sisters had concocted their comedy
-overnight and had planned their speeches to produce the proper effect
-upon his victimised feelings. He had singularly disappointed them both,
-in that case. They would have to think longer and think more wisely the
-next time they meant to deceive a man of his character. He remembered
-with delight every cold, hard word he had spoken, every cruelly brutal
-answer he had given. He rejoiced in every syllable saving only that “I
-believe you” he had bestowed on Grace’s asseverations of friendship and
-esteem. And he had been weak enough to ask Constance whether Grace had
-spoken the truth, as if they had not arranged between them beforehand
-every sentence of each part! That had been weakness indeed! How they
-would laugh over his question when they compared notes! By this time
-they were closeted together, telling each other all he had said and
-done. On the whole, there could not be much to please them, and he had
-found strings for most of his short phrases after the first surprise was
-over. He was glad that he disbelieved them both, and so thoroughly. If
-there had been one grain of belief in Constance left to him, how much he
-still might suffer. His illusion had fallen, but it had fallen
-altogether with one shock, in one general and overwhelming crash. There
-was not one stone of his temple whole that it might be set upon another,
-there was not one limb, one fragment of his beautiful idol that might
-recall its loveliness. All was gone, wholly, irrevocably, and he was
-glad that it was all gone together. The ruin was so complete that he
-could doubtless separate the memory of the past from the fact of the
-present, and dwell upon it, live upon it, as he would. If he met
-Constance now, he could behave towards her as he would to any other
-woman. She was not Constance any more. Her name roused no emotion in his
-heart, the thought of her face as he had last seen it was not connected
-with anything like love. Her false face, that had been so true and
-honest once! He could scorn the one and yet love the other.
-
-If George had been less absorbed in his angry thoughts, or had known
-that there was anything unusual in his expression, he would not have
-walked up Fifth Avenue on his way from Washington Square. The times were
-changed since he had been able to traverse the thoroughfare of fashion
-in the comparative certainty of not meeting an acquaintance. Before he
-had gone far, he was conscious of having failed to return more than one
-friendly nod, and he was disgusted with himself for allowing his
-emotions to have got the better of his habitually quick perception. At
-the busy corner of Fourteenth Street he stopped upon the edge of the
-pavement, debating for a moment whether he should leave the Avenue and
-go home by the elevated road, or strike across Union Square and take a
-long walk in the less crowded parts of the city. Just then, a familiar
-and pleasant voice spoke at his elbow.
-
-“Why, George!” exclaimed Totty Trimm. “How you look! What is the matter
-with you?”
-
-“How do you do, cousin Totty? I do not understand. Is there anything the
-matter with my face?”
-
-“I wish you could see yourself in the glass!” cried the little lady
-evidently more and more surprised at his unusual expression. “I wish you
-could. You are as white as a sheet, with great rings round your eyes.
-Where in the world have you been?”
-
-“I? Oh, I have only been making a visit at the Fearings. I suppose I am
-tired.”
-
-“The Fearings?” repeated Totty, with a sweet smile. “How odd! I was just
-going there—walking, you see, because it is such a lovely afternoon. You
-won’t come back with me? They won’t mind seeing you twice in the same
-day, I daresay.”
-
-“Thanks,” answered George, speaking hurriedly, and growing, if possible,
-paler than before. “I think it would be rather too much. Besides, I have
-a lot of work to do.”
-
-“Well—go in and see Mamie on your way up. She is alone—got a horrid
-cold, poor child! She will be so glad and she will give you a cup of
-tea. You might put a little of that old whiskey of Sherry’s into it. I
-am sure you are not well, George. You are looking wretchedly. Good-bye,
-dear boy.”
-
-Totty squeezed his hand warmly, gave him an earnest and affectionate
-look, and tripped away down the Avenue. George wondered whether she had
-guessed that there was anything wrong.
-
-“I suppose I ought to have lied,” he said to himself, as he crossed the
-thoroughfare. “They will—but I cannot do it so well. I ought to have
-told her that I had been to the club.”
-
-Totty Trimm had not only guessed that something was very wrong indeed.
-She had instinctively hit upon the truth. She, like many other people,
-had seen long ago that George was in love with Constance Fearing, and
-she had for a long time been glad of it. During the last three or four
-days, however, she had changed her mind in a way very unusual with her,
-and she had been hoping with all her heart that something would happen
-to break off a match that seemed to be very imminent. The matter had
-been so constantly in her thoughts that she referred to it everything
-she heard about the Fearings and about George. She had not really had
-the slightest intention of going to the house in Washington Square when
-she had met her cousin, but the determination had formed itself so
-quickly that she had spoken the truth in declaring it. She made up her
-mind to see Constance the moment she had seen George’s face and had
-learned that he had been with her. She pursued her way with a light
-heart, and her nimble little feet carried her more lightly and smoothly
-than ever. She rang the bell and asked if the young ladies were at home.
-
-“Yes ma’am,” answered the servant, “but Miss Constance is not very well,
-and is gone to her room with a headache, and Miss Grace said she would
-see no one, ma’am.”
-
-“I just met Mr. Wood,” objected Totty, “and he said he had been here
-this afternoon.”
-
-“Yes ma’am, and so he was, and it’s since Mr. Wood left that the orders
-was given. Shall I take your card, Mrs. Trimm, ma’am?”
-
-“No. It is of no use. You can tell the young ladies I called.”
-
-She descended the steps and went quickly back towards Fifth Avenue.
-There was great joy and triumph in her breast and her smile shed its
-radiance on the trees on the deserted pavement and on the stiff iron
-railings as she went along.
-
-“That idiotic little fool!” said Mrs. Sherrington Trimm in her heart.
-“She loves him, and she has refused one of the best matches in New York
-because she fancies he wants her money!”
-
-She reflected that if Mamie had the same chance, she should certainly
-not refuse George Winton Wood, and she determined that if diplomacy
-could produce the necessary situation, she would not be long in bringing
-matters to the proper point. There is no time when a man is so
-susceptible, so ready to yield to the charms of one woman as when he has
-just been jilted by another—so, at least, thought Totty, and her worldly
-experience was by no means small. And if the marriage could be brought
-about, why then——Totty’s radiant face expressed the rest of her thoughts
-better than any words could have done.
-
-While she was making these reflections the chief figure in her panorama
-was striding up the Avenue at a rapid pace. Strange to say his cousin’s
-suggestion, that he should go and see Mamie had proved rather attractive
-than otherwise. He did not care to walk the streets, since Totty had
-been so much surprised by his appearance. He might meet other
-acquaintances, and be obliged to speak with them. If he went home he
-would have to face his father, who would not fail to notice his looks,
-and who might guess the cause of his distress, for the old gentleman was
-well aware that his son was in love with Constance and hoped with all
-his heart that the marriage might not be far distant. Mamie would be
-alone, Mamie knew nothing of his doings, she was a good girl, and he
-liked her. To spend an hour with her would cost him nothing, as she
-would talk the greater part of the time, and he would gain a breathing
-space in which to recover from the shock he had received. She was indeed
-the only person whom he could have gone to see at that moment without
-positive suffering, except Johnson, and he was several miles from the
-office of Johnson’s newspaper.
-
-As he approached the Trimms’ house his pace slackened, as though he were
-finally debating within himself upon the wisdom of making the visit.
-Then as he came within sight of the door he quickened his steps again
-and did not pause until he had rung the bell. A moment later he entered
-the drawing-room where Mamie Trimm was sitting in a deep easy-chair,
-among flowers near a sunlit window. She held a book in her hand.
-
-“Oh George!” she cried, blushing with pleasure. “I am so glad—I am all
-alone.”
-
-“And what are you reading, all alone among the roses?” asked George
-kindly.
-
-“What do you think?”
-
-Then she held up the novel for him to see. It was the book he had just
-published.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIV.
-
-
-Mamie Trimm was one of those young girls of whom it is most difficult to
-give a true impression by describing them in the ordinary way. To say
-that her height was so many feet and so many inches—fewer inches than
-the average—that her hair was very fair, her eyes grey, her nose small,
-her mouth large, her complexion clear, her figure well proportioned, to
-say all this is to say nothing at all. A passport, in the days of
-passports, would have said as much, and the description would have just
-sufficed to point out Mamie Trimm if she had found herself in a company
-of tall women with black hair, large features and imposing presence. It
-would have been easier for a man to find her amongst a bevy of girls of
-her age, if he had been told that she possessed a charm of her own,
-which nobody could define. It would help him in his search, to be
-informed that she looked very delicate, but was not so in reality, that
-her figure was not only well proportioned, but was very exceptionally
-perfect and graceful, and that, but for her well-set grey eyes and her
-transparent complexion, her face could never have been called pretty.
-All these points may have combined to produce the aforesaid
-individuality that was especially hers. Little is known, I believe, of
-that fair young girl of whom Charles Lamb wrote to Landor—“Rose Aylmer
-has a charm that I cannot explain.” Mamie Trimm was George Wood’s Rose
-Aylmer.
-
-He had known her all her life and there was between them that sort of
-intimacy which cannot exist at all unless it has begun in childhood. The
-patronising superiority of the schoolboy has found a foil in the
-clinging admiration of the little girl who is only half his age. The
-budding vanity of the young student has delighted in “explaining things”
-to the slim maiden of fourteen who believes all his words and worships
-all his ideas, the struggling, striving, hardworking beginner has found
-comfort in the unfailing friendship and devotion of the accomplished
-young woman whom he still thinks of as a child, and treats as a sister,
-not realising that the difference between fourteen and seven is one
-thing, while that between five or six and twenty, and eighteen or
-nineteen is quite another.
-
-When a friendship of that kind has begun in childish years it is not
-easily broken, even though the subsequent intercourse be occasionally
-interrupted. Of late, indeed, Constance Fearing had taken, and more than
-taken Mamie’s place in George’s life. He had seen his cousin constantly
-of course, but she had felt that he was not to her what he had been,
-that something she could not understand had come between them, and that
-she had been deprived of something that had given her pleasure. On the
-other hand, it was precisely at this time that she had made her first
-appearance in society and her life had been all at once made very full
-of new interests and new amusements. She had been received into the
-bosom of social institutions with enthusiasm, she had held her own with
-tact, she had danced at every ball, had received offers of marriage
-about once in three months, had refused them all systematically and was,
-on the whole, in the very prime of an American girl’s social career. If
-her head had been turned by much admiration, she had concealed the fact
-very well, and the expression of her attractive face had not changed for
-the worse after two years of uninterrupted gaiety. She was still as
-innocently fond of George as she had been when a little girl and if the
-exigencies of continual amusement had deprived her of some of his
-companionship, she looked upon the circumstance with all the fatalism of
-the very young and the very happy, as a matter to be regretted when she
-had time for regrets, but inevitable and predestined. Her regrets,
-indeed, had not troubled her much until very lately, when George’s
-growing reputation had begun to draw him into the current of society.
-She had seen then for the first time that there was another person,
-somewhat older than herself, in whose company he delighted as he had
-never delighted in her own, and her dormant jealousy had been almost
-awakened by the sight. It seemed to her that she had always had a prior
-right and claim upon her cousin’s attention and conversation, and she
-did not like to find her right contested, especially by one so well able
-to maintain her conquests against all comers as was Constance Fearing.
-In her innocence, she had more than once complained to her mother that
-George neglected her, but hitherto her observations on the subject had
-received no sympathy from Mrs. Sherrington Trimm. Totty had no idea of
-allowing her only child to marry a penniless man of genius, and though,
-as has been set forth in the early part of this history she felt it
-incumbent upon her to do something for George, and encouraged his
-visits, she took care that he should meet Mamie as rarely as possible in
-her own house. As for Sherrington Trimm himself, he cared for none of
-these things. If Mamie loved George, she was welcome to marry him, if
-she did not there would be no hearts broken. George might come and go in
-his house and be welcome.
-
-Mamie Trimm’s undefinable charm doubtless covered a multitude of
-defects. She was of course very well educated, in the sense in which
-that elastic term is generally applied to all young girls of her class.
-It would be more true to say that she, like most of her associates, had
-been expensively educated. Nothing had been omitted which, according to
-popular social belief can contribute to the production of a refined and
-accomplished feminine mind. She had been taught at great pains a number
-of subjects of which she remembered little, but of which the transient
-knowledge had contributed something to the formation of her taste. She
-had been instructed in the French language with a care perhaps not
-always bestowed upon the subject in France, and the result was that she
-could read novels written in that tongue and, under great pressure of
-necessity, could converse tolerably in it, though the composition of the
-shortest note plunged her into a despair that would have been comic had
-it been less real. She possessed a shadowy acquaintance with German and
-knew a score of Italian words. In the department of music, seven years
-of study had given her some facility in playing simple dance music, and
-she was able to accompany a song tolerably, provided the movement were
-not too fast. On the other hand she danced to perfection, rode well and
-played a very fair game of lawn-tennis, and she got even more credit for
-these accomplishments than she deserved because her naturally
-transparent complexion and rather thin face had always made the world
-believe that her health was not strong.
-
-In character she was neither very sincere, nor by any means
-unscrupulous. Her conscience was in a very natural state, considering
-her surroundings, and she represented very fairly the combination of her
-mother’s worldly disposition with her father’s cheerful, generous and
-loyal nature. She was far too much in love with life to be morbid, and
-far too sensible to invent imaginary trials. She had never thought of
-examining herself, any more than she would have thought of pulling off a
-butterfly’s wings to see how they were fastened to its body. Her
-simplicity of ideas was dashed with a sprinkling of sentimentality which
-was natural enough at her age, but of which she felt so much ashamed
-that she hid it jealously from her father and mother and only showed a
-little of it to her most intimate friend when she had danced a little
-too long or suspected herself of having nearly accepted an offer of
-marriage. It was indeed with her, rather a quality than a weakness, for
-it sometimes made her feel that life did not consist entirely in
-waltzing a dozen miles every night and in talking over the race the next
-morning. The only visible signs of this harmless sentimentality were to
-be found in a secret drawer of her desk and took the shape of two or
-three dried flowers, a scrap of ribband and a dance programme in which
-the same initials were scrawled several times. She did not open the
-drawer at dead of night and kiss the flowers, nor hold the faded ribband
-to her hair, nor bedew the crumpled little bit of illuminated cardboard
-with her warm tears. On the contrary she rarely unlocked the receptacle
-unless it were to add some new memento to the collection, and on such
-occasions the principal reason why she did not summarily eject the
-representatives of older memories was that she felt a sort of
-good-natured pity for them, as though they had been living things and
-might be hurt by being thrown away. Her dainty room contained, indeed
-more than one object given her by George Wood, from a collection of
-picture-books that bore the marks of age and rough usage, to her first
-tennis racquet, now battered and half unstrung, and from that to a
-pretty toilet-clock set in chiselled silver which her cousin had given
-her on her last birthday, as a sort of peace-offering for his neglect.
-It never would have entered her head, however, to hide anything she had
-received from him in the secret drawer. There was no sentimentality
-about her feelings for him, and if there was a sentiment it was of the
-better and stronger sort. She felt that she had a right to like George,
-and that his gifts had a right to be seen. Once or twice, of late, when
-she had been watching him through the greater part of an evening while
-he talked earnestly with Constance Fearing, Mamie had felt an itching in
-her fingers to take everything he had given her and to throw all into
-the street together; but she had always been glad on the next day that
-she had not yielded to the destructive impulse, and she had once dreamed
-that, having carried out her dire intention George had picked up the
-various articles in the street and had brought them back to her, neatly
-packed in a basket, with a sardonic smile on his grave face. Since then,
-she had thought more of Constance than of George’s old picture-books,
-the worn-out racquet, or the clock.
-
-Mamie bore no malice against him, however, though she was beginning to
-dislike the name of Fearing in a way that surprised herself. If George
-talked to her at a party, she was always herself, graceful, winning and
-happy; if he came to see her, the same words of welcome rose to her lips
-and the same soft colour flashed through the alabaster of her cheek, a
-colour which, as her mother thought, should not have come so easily for
-one who was already so dear. The careful Totty heard love’s light tread
-afar off and caught the gleam of his weapons before it was yet day, her
-maternal anxiety had been stirred, and the devotion of the social
-tigress to her marriageable young had been roused almost to the point of
-self-sacrifice. Indeed, she had more than once interrupted some pleasant
-conversation of her own, in order to draw Mamie away from George, and
-more than once she had stayed at home when Mamie was tired with the
-dancing of the previous night lest in her absence George’s evil genius
-should lead him to the house. Fortunately for her, no one had given her
-more constant and valuable assistance than George himself, which was the
-reason why Totty had not ceased to like him. Had he, on his part seemed
-as glad to be with Mamie, as Mamie to be with him, the claws of the
-tigress would have fastened upon him with sudden and terrible ferocity
-and would have accompanied him to the front door. There would now in all
-likelihood be a change in the tigress’s view of the matter, and what had
-until lately seemed one of George’s best recommendations, would soon be
-regarded in the light of a serious defect. The position of the invader
-had been very much changed since the day on which Totty Trimm had been
-left alone in the strong room for a quarter of an hour, and had brought
-away with her the last will and testament of Thomas Craik.
-
-If George had ever in his life felt anything approaching to love for
-Mamie, he could not have failed to notice that Totty had done all in her
-power to keep the two apart during the past three years, in other words
-since Mamie had been of a marriageable age. But it had always been a
-matter of supreme indifference to him whether he were left alone with
-her or not, and to-day it had not struck him that Totty had never before
-proposed that he should go and spend an hour with her daughter when
-there was nobody about. Totty herself, if her heart had not been
-bursting with an anticipated triumph, would have been more cautious, and
-would have thought twice before making her suggestion with so much
-frankness. In the moment of her meeting with him and guessing the truth
-so many possibilities had suggested themselves to her that she had not
-found time to reflect, and she had for an instant entertained the idea
-of returning immediately from Washington Square to her own home, in
-order to find George there and perform the part of the skilful and
-interested consoler. A very little consideration showed her that this
-would be an unwise course to pursue, and she had adopted a plan
-infinitely more diplomatic, of which the results will be seen and
-appreciated before long. In the meantime George Wood was seated beside
-Mamie and her flowers, listening to her talk, answering her remarks
-rather vaguely, and wondering why he was alive, and since he was alive,
-why he was in that particular place.
-
-“You look tired, George,” said the young girl, studying his face. “You
-look almost ill.”
-
-“Do I? I am all right. I have been doing a lot of work lately. And you,
-Mamie—what is the matter? Your mother told me just now that you had a
-bad cold. I hope it is nothing serious.”
-
-“Oh, it is nothing. I wanted to read your book, and I did not want to
-make visits, and I had just enough of a cold to make a good excuse. A
-cold is so useful sometimes—it is just the same thing that your writing
-is to you. Everybody believes it is inevitable, and then one can do as
-one pleases. But you really do look dreadfully. Have some tea—with a
-stick in it as papa calls it.”
-
-Mamie laughed a little at her own use of the slang term, though her eyes
-showed that she was really made anxious by George’s appearance.
-
-“Thank you,” he answered. “I do not want anything, but I am very tired,
-and when your mother told me you were all alone at home I thought it
-would do me good to come and stay with you a little while, if you would
-talk to me.”
-
-“I am so glad you came. I have not seen much of you, lately.” There was
-a ring of regret in her voice.
-
-“You have been so gay. How can I get at you when you are racing through
-society all the year round from morning till night?”
-
-“Oh, it is not that, George, and you know it is not! We have often been
-in the same gay places together, and you hardly ever come near me,
-though I would much rather talk with you than with all the other men.”
-
-“No you would not—and if you would, you are such a raving success, as
-they call it, this year, that you are always surrounded—unless you are
-sitting in corners with the pinks of desirability whose very
-shoe-strings are a cut above the ‘likes o’ me.’ When are you going to
-marry, Mamie?”
-
-“When somebody asks me, sir—she said,” laughed the young girl.
-
-“Who is somebody?”
-
-“I do not know,” answered Mamie with an infinitesimal sigh. “People have
-asked me, you know,” she added with another laugh, “any number of them.”
-
-“But not the particular somebody who haunts your dreams?” asked George.
-
-“He has not even begun to haunt me yet. You do, though. I dreamed of you
-the other night.”
-
-“You? How odd! What did you dream about me?”
-
-“Such a funny dream!” said Mamie, leaning forward and smelling the roses
-beside her. It struck George as strange that the colour from the dark
-red petals should be thrown up into her face by the rays of the sun,
-though he knew something of the laws of incidence and reflection.
-
-“I dreamed,” continued Mamie, still holding the roses, “that I was very
-angry with you. Then I took all the things you ever gave me, the
-picture-books, and the broken doll, and the old racquet and the clock—by
-the by, it goes beautifully—and I threw them all out of my window into
-the street. And, of course, you were passing just at that moment, and
-you brought them all into the house in a basket, nicely done up in pink
-paper, and handed them back to me with that horrid smile you have when
-you are going to say something perfectly hateful.”
-
-“And then, what happened?” inquired George, who was amused in spite of
-himself.
-
-“Oh, nothing. I suppose I woke just then. I laughed over it the next
-morning.”
-
-“But what made you so angry with me?”
-
-“Nothing—that is—the usual thing. The way you always behave to me at
-parties.”
-
-George looked at her in silence for a second, before he spoke again.
-
-“Do you mean to say that you really care,” he asked, “whether I talk to
-you at parties, or not?”
-
-“Of course I care!” exclaimed the young girl. “What a question!”
-
-“I am sure I cannot see why. I am not a very amusing person. But since
-you would like me to talk to you, I will, as much as you please.”
-
-“It is too late now,” answered Mamie, laying down the roses she had held
-so long. “Everything is over, or will be in a day or two, and you will
-not get a chance unless you come and stay with us this summer. Why do
-you never come and stay with us? I have often wondered.”
-
-“I was never asked,” said George indifferently. “I could not well come
-without an invitation. And besides, I have generally been very busy in
-the summer.”
-
-“Did they never ask you?” inquired Mamie in evident surprise. “Mamma
-must have forgotten it.”
-
-“I daresay,” George replied, rather dreamily. His thoughts were
-wandering from the conversation.
-
-“She shall, this time,” said Mamie with considerable emphasis. Then
-there was silence for some moments.
-
-George did not know what she was thinking and cared very little to
-inquire. He was conscious that the surroundings in which he found
-himself were soothing to his humour, that Mamie’s harmless talk was
-pleasant to his ear, and that if he had gone anywhere else on that
-afternoon, he might have committed some act of folly which would have
-had serious consequences. He was neither able nor anxious to understand
-his own state, since, whatever it might be, he desired to escape from
-it, and he was grateful for all external circumstances which helped his
-forgetfulness. He was no doubt conscious that it would be out of the
-question to recover from such a shock as he had received without passing
-through much suffering on his way to ultimate consolation. But he had
-been stunned and overcome by what had happened. The first passion of
-almost uncontrollable anger that swept over his nature had left him dull
-and almost apathetic for the time, bruised and willing to accept
-thankfully any peace that he could find.
-
-Presently, Mamie turned the conversation to his books and talked
-enthusiastically of his success. She had read what he had written with
-greater care and understanding than he had expected of her, and she
-quoted whole passages from his novels, puzzling him sometimes with her
-questions, but pleasing him in spite of himself by her sincere and
-admiring appreciation. At last he rose to leave her.
-
-“I wish you would stay,” she said regretfully. But he shook his head.
-“Why not stay the rest of the afternoon?” she suggested. “We are not
-going out this evening and you could dine with us, just as you are.”
-
-This was altogether more than George wanted. He did not care to meet
-Totty again on that day.
-
-“Then come again soon,” said Mamie. “I have enjoyed it so much—and we
-are not going out of town for another fortnight.”
-
-“But you may not have another cold, Mamie,” George observed.
-
-“Oh, I will always have a cold, if you will come and sit with me,”
-answered the young girl.
-
-When George was once more in the street, he stared about him as though
-not knowing where he was. Then, when the full force of his
-disappointment struck him for the second time, he found it hard to
-believe that he had been spending an hour in careless conversation with
-his cousin. He looked at his watch mechanically, and saw that it was
-late in the afternoon. It was as though a dream had separated him from
-his last interview with Constance Fearing. Of that, at least, he had
-forgotten nothing; not a word of what she had said, or of what he had
-answered, had escaped his memory, every syllable was burned into the
-page of his day. Then came the great question, which had not suggested
-itself at first. Why had all this happened? What hidden reason was there
-in obedience to which Constance had so suddenly cast him off? Had she
-weakly yielded to Grace’s influence? He had little faith in Grace’s
-assurance that she had been silent, nor in Constance’s confirmation of
-the statement. And Constance was weak. He had often suspected it, and
-had even wondered whether she would withstand the pressure brought to
-bear upon her and against himself. Yet her weakness alone did not
-explain what she had done. It had needed strength of some sort to face
-him, to tell him to his face what she had first told him through her
-sister’s words. But her weakness had shown itself even then. She had
-wept and hidden her face and cried out that he was breaking her heart,
-when she was breaking his. George ground his heel upon the pavement.
-
-Her heart, indeed! She had none. She was but a compound of nerves,
-prettiness and vanity, and he had believed her the noblest, bravest and
-best of women. He had lavished upon her with his lips and in his books
-such language as would have honoured a goddess, and she had turned out
-to be only a weak shallow-hearted girl, ready to break an honest man’s
-heart, because she did not know her own mind. He cursed his ignorance of
-human nature and of woman’s love, as he strode along the street toward
-his own home. Yet, rave as he would, he could not hate her, he could not
-get rid of the sharp pain that told him he had lost what he held most
-dear and was widowed of what he had loved best.
-
-When he was at home and in his own room he became apathetic again. He
-had never known himself subject to such sudden changes of humour and at
-first he vaguely imagined that he was going to be ill, and that his
-nerves would break down. His father had not yet come home from the walk
-which was a part of his regular mode of life. George sat in his deep old
-easy-chair by the corner of his table and wondered whether all men who
-were disappointed in love felt it as he did. He tried to smoke and then
-gave it up in disgust. He rose from his seat and attempted to arrange
-the papers that lay in heaps about the place where he wrote, but his
-fingers trembled oddly and he felt alternately hot and cold. He opened a
-book and tried to read, but the effort to concentrate his attention was
-maddening. He felt as though he must be stifled in the little room that
-had always seemed a haven of rest before, and yet he did not know where
-to go. He threw open the window and stood looking at the rows of windows
-just visible above the brick wall at the back of the road. The shadows
-were deepening below and the sky above was already stained with the glow
-of evening. The prospect was not beautiful, but the cool air that fanned
-his face was pleasant to his senses, and he remained standing a long
-time, so long indeed that the stars began to shine overhead before he
-drew back and returned to his seat. Far down in his sensitive character
-there was a passionate love of all that is beautiful in the outer world.
-He hid it from every one, for some reason which he could not explain,
-but he occasionally let it show itself in his writings and the passages
-in which he had written of nature as it affected him, had not failed to
-be noticed for their peculiar grace and tenderness of execution. Since
-he had begun to write books all nature had become associated with
-Constance. He had often wondered what the connecting link could be, but
-had found no answer to the question. A star in the evening sky, a ray of
-moonlight upon rippling water, the glow of the sunset over drifted snow,
-the winnowed light of summer’s afternoon beneath old trees, the scent of
-roses wet with dew, the sweet smell of country lanes when a shower had
-passed by—all these things acted like a charm upon him to raise the
-vision of Constance before his eyes. To-night he could not bear to look
-at the bright planet that was shining in that strip of exquisitely soft
-sky above the hard brick buildings.
-
-That evening he sat with his father, a rather rare occurrence since he
-had gone so much into the world. The old gentleman had looked often at
-him during their meal but had said nothing about the careworn look of
-exhaustion that he saw in his son’s face. It was nearly ten o’clock when
-Jonah Wood laid down his book by his side and raised his eyes. George
-had been trying to read also, and during the last half-hour he had
-almost succeeded.
-
-“What is the matter with you, George?” asked his father.
-
-George let his book fall upon his knee and stared at the lamp for a few
-seconds. He did not want sympathy from his father nor from any one else,
-but as he supposed that he would be unable to conceal his nervousness
-and ill temper for a long time to come, and as his father was the person
-who would suffer the consequences of both, he thought it better to speak
-out.
-
-“I do not think there is anything the matter with my bodily condition,”
-he answered at last. “I am afraid I am bad company, and shall be for a
-few days. This afternoon, Miss Fearing refused to marry me. I loved her.
-That is what is the matter, father.”
-
-Jonah Wood uncrossed his legs and crossed them again in the opposite way
-rather suddenly, which was his especial manner when he was very much
-surprised. Mechanically, he took up his book again, and held it before
-his eyes. Then his answer came at last in a rather indistinct voice.
-
-“I am sorry to hear that, George. I had thought she was a nice girl. But
-you are well out of it. I never did think much of women, anyhow, except
-your dear mother.”
-
-So far as words went, that was all the consolation George got from his
-father; but he knew better than to suppose that the old gentleman would
-waste language in condolence, whatever he might feel. That he felt
-something, and that strongly, was quite evident from the fact that
-although he conscientiously held his book before his eyes during the
-half-hour that followed, he never once turned over the page.
-
-George rested little that night, and when at last he was sound asleep in
-the broad daylight, he was awakened by a knock at the door and a voice
-calling him. On looking out a note was handed to him, addressed in Totty
-Trimm’s brisk, slanting, ladylike writing. He was told that an answer
-was expected and that the messenger was waiting.
-
-“Dear George,” Totty wrote, “I cannot tell you how amazed and distressed
-I am. I do hope there is not a word of truth in it, and that you will
-write me so at once. It is all over New York that Conny Fearing has
-jilted you in the most abominable way! Of course we all knew that you
-had been engaged ever so long. If it is true, she is a cruel, heartless,
-horrid girl, and she never deserved you. Do write, and do come and see
-me this afternoon. I shall not go out at all for fear of missing you. I
-am so, so sorry! In haste.—Your affectionate
-
- TOTTY.”
-
-George swore a great oath, then and there. He had not mentioned the
-subject to any one but his father, so that either Constance or Grace
-must have told what had happened.
-
-That the story really was “all over New York,” as Totty expressed it, he
-found out very soon.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XV.
-
-
-Totty had lost no time in spreading the report that everything was
-broken off between George Wood and Constance Fearing, and she had done
-it so skilfully that no one would have thought of tracing the story to
-her, even if it had proved to be false. She had cared very little what
-George himself thought about it, though she had not failed to see that
-he would lay the blame of the gossip on the Fearings. The two girls,
-indeed, could have no object in circulating a piece of news which did
-not reflect much credit upon themselves. What Totty wanted was in the
-first place that George should know that she was acquainted with his
-position, in order that she might play the part of the comforter and
-earn his gratitude. She could not of course question him directly, and
-she was therefore obliged to appear as having heard the tale from
-others; to manage this with success, it was necessary that the
-circumstances of the case should be made common property. Secondly, and
-here Totty’s diplomatic instinct showed itself at its strongest, she was
-determined to prevent all possibility of a renewal of relations between
-Constance and George. In due time, probably in twenty-four hours at the
-latest, both Constance and Grace would know that all society was in
-possession of their secret. Having of course not mentioned it themselves
-to any one, they would feel sure that George had betrayed them in his
-anger, and would be proportionately incensed against him. If both
-parties should be so angry as to come to an explanation, which was
-improbable, neither would believe the other, the quarrel would grow and
-the breach would be widened. Totty herself would of course take George’s
-part, as would the majority of his acquaintance, and he would be
-grateful for such friendly support at so trying a time.
-
-Matters turned out very nearly as Mrs. Sherrington Trimm had
-anticipated. There was, indeed, a slight variation in the programme, but
-she was not aware of it at the time, and if she had noticed it she would
-not have attached to it the importance it deserved. It chanced that
-Constance and Grace Fearing and George Wood had been asked with certain
-other guests to dine with a certain young couple lately returned from
-their wedding tour in Europe. The invitations had been sent and accepted
-on the last day of April, that is to say on the day preceding the one on
-which Constance gave George her definite refusal, and the dinner was to
-take place three or four days later. Now the young couple, who had
-bought a small place on the Hudson river, and were anxious to move into
-it as soon as possible, took advantage of those three or four days to go
-up to their country-house and to arrange it for themselves according to
-their ideas of comfort. They returned to town on the morning of their
-party and were of course ignorant of the gossip which had gone the
-rounds in their absence. Late on the afternoon of the day the husband
-came home from his club in great distress to tell his wife that
-Constance Fearing had thrown over George Wood and that the two were not
-on speaking terms. It was too late to make any excuse to their guests,
-so as to divide the party and give two separate dinners on different
-days. The worst of it was, that their table was small, the guests had
-been carefully arranged, and George Wood must inevitably sit beside
-either Constance or Grace. The young couple were in despair and spent
-all the time that was left in trying vainly to redistribute the places.
-There was nothing to be done but to put George next to Grace and to
-effect a total ignorance of the difficulty. At the last moment, however,
-the young hostess thought she could improve matters by speaking a word
-to George when he arrived. Constance and her sister, however, came
-before him.
-
-“I am so sorry!” said the lady of the house quickly in the ear of the
-elder girl, as she drew her a little aside. “Mr. Wood is coming—we have
-been out of town, and knew nothing about it—I do hope——”
-
-“I am very glad he is to be here,” answered Constance. She was very pale
-and very calm.
-
-“Oh dear!” exclaimed the hostess, growing very red. “I hope I have said
-nothing——”
-
-“Not at all,” said Constance reassuring her. “There is a foolish bit of
-gossip in the air, I believe. The facts are very simple. Mr. Wood is a
-very old and good friend of mine. He asked me to marry him, and I could
-not. I like him very much and I hope we shall be as good friends as
-before. If there is any blame in the matter I wish to bear it. There he
-is.”
-
-The hostess felt better after this, but her curiosity was excited, and
-as George entered the room she went forward to meet him.
-
-“I am so sorry,” she said. “The Fearings are here and you will have to
-sit next to the younger one. You see we have only just heard—I am so
-sorry.”
-
-George Wood inclined his head a little. He was very quiet and grave.
-
-“I may as well tell you at once,” he said, “that there is not a word of
-truth in the story they are telling. I shall be very much obliged if you
-will deny it when you hear it mentioned. There never was any engagement
-between Miss Fearing and me.”
-
-“Well, I am very glad to hear it. Pray, forgive me,” said the lady of
-the house.
-
-George met Constance with his most impenetrably civil manner and they
-exchanged a few words which neither of them understood while they were
-speaking them, nor remembered afterwards. They both spoke in a low voice
-and the impression produced upon the many curious eyes that watched them
-was that they were on very good terms, though slightly embarrassed by
-the consciousness that they were being so much talked of.
-
-At the dinner-table George found himself next to Grace. For some time he
-talked with his neighbour on his other side, then turned and inquired
-when Grace and her sister were going out of town, and what they intended
-to do during the summer. She, on her part, while answering his
-questions, looked at him with an air of cold and scornful surprise.
-Presently there was a brief burst of general conversation. Under cover
-of the numerous voices Grace asked a direct question.
-
-“What do you mean by telling such a story as every one is repeating
-about my sister?” she asked.
-
-George’s eyes gleamed angrily for a moment and his answer came sharply
-and quickly.
-
-“You would do better to ask that of yourself—or of Miss Fearing. I have
-said nothing.”
-
-“I do not intend to discuss the matter,” Grace answered icily. “If the
-story were true it would hurt us and we should not tell it. But it is a
-lie, and a malicious lie.” She turned her head away.
-
-“Miss Fearing,” George said, bending towards her a little, “I do not
-intend to be accused of such doings by any one. Do you understand? If
-you will take the trouble to ask the man on your left, he will tell you
-that I have denied the story everywhere during the last four days.”
-
-Grace looked at him again, and there was a change in her face. She was
-about to say something in reply, when the general talk, which had
-allowed them to speak together unheard, was interrupted by an unexpected
-pause.
-
-“Do you prefer Bar Harbour to Newport, Miss Fearing?” George inquired in
-a tone which led every one to suppose that they had been discussing the
-comparative merits of watering-places.
-
-The young girl smiled as she made an indifferent answer. She liked the
-man’s coolness and tact in such small things. He was ready,
-imperturbable and determined, possessing three of the qualities which
-women like best in man. A little later another chance of exchanging a
-few words presented itself. This time Grace spoke less abruptly and
-coldly.
-
-“If you have said nothing, who has told the tale?” she asked.
-
-“I do not know,” George answered, keeping his clear eyes fixed on hers.
-“If I knew, I would tell you. It is a malicious lie, as you say, and it
-must have been set afloat by a malicious person—by some one who hates us
-all.”
-
-“Some one who hates my sister and me. It cannot injure you in any way.”
-
-“That is true,” said George. “It had not struck me at first, because I
-was so angry at hearing the story. Does your sister imagine that I have
-had anything to do with it?”
-
-“Yes,” Grace answered, and her lip curled a little. George misunderstood
-her expression and drew back rather proudly. The fact was that Grace was
-thinking how Constance accused herself every day of having been
-heartless and cruel, declaring in her self-abasement that even if George
-had chosen to tell the story he would have had something very like a
-right to do so. Grace had no patience with what she regarded as her
-sister’s weakness.
-
-To the delight of the young couple who gave the dinner it passed off
-very pleasantly. There had been no apparent coldness anywhere, and they
-were persuaded that none existed.
-
-“Will you be kind enough to tell your sister what I have told you?” said
-George to his neighbour as they rose from the table.
-
-“If you like,” she answered indifferently. “Unless you prefer to tell
-her yourself.” The emphasis she put on the last part of the sentence
-showed plainly enough what her opinion was.
-
-“I will,” he said.
-
-A little later in the evening he sat down by Constance in a
-comparatively quiet corner of the small drawing-room.
-
-“Will you allow me to say a few words to you?” he asked.
-
-She looked at him in pathetic surprise, and if he had been a little more
-vain than he was, he would have seen that she was grateful to him for
-coming to her.
-
-“I am always glad when you talk to me,” she said, and her voice trembled
-perceptibly.
-
-“You are very good,” he answered in a tone that meant nothing. “I would
-not trouble you if it did not seem necessary. I have been talking about
-the matter to your sister at dinner. I wish you to know that I have had
-nothing to do with the invention of the story that is going the rounds
-of the town. I have denied it to every one, and I shall continue to deny
-it.”
-
-Constance glanced timidly at him, and then sighed as though she were
-relieved of a burden.
-
-“I am very glad you have told me,” she said.
-
-“Do you believe me?” he asked.
-
-“I have always believed everything you have told me, and I always shall.
-But if you had told some one what everybody is repeating, I should not
-have blamed you. It would have been almost true.”
-
-“I do not say things which are only almost true,” said George very
-coldly.
-
-Constance’s face, which had regained some of its natural colour while
-she had been speaking with him, grew very white again, her lip trembled
-and there were tears in her eyes.
-
-“Are you always going to treat me like this?” she asked, pronouncing the
-words with difficulty, as though a sob were very near.
-
-If George had said one kind word at that moment, his history and hers
-might have been very different from that day onwards. But the wound he
-had received was yet too fresh, and moreover he was angry with her for
-showing a tendency to cry, and he hardened his heart.
-
-“I trust,” he answered in a chilly tone, “that we shall always meet on
-the best of terms.”
-
-A long silence followed, during which it was evident that Constance was
-struggling to maintain some appearance of outward calm. When she felt
-that she could command her strength, she rose and left him without
-another word. It was the only thing left for her to do. She could not
-allow herself to break down in a room full of people, before every one,
-and she could not stay where she was without bursting into tears. She
-had humbled herself to the utmost, she had been ready to offer every
-atonement in her power, and he had met her with a face of stone and a
-voice that cut her like steel.
-
-That was the last time he saw her before the summer season. She and her
-sister left town suddenly the next day and George was left to his own
-devices and to the tender consolation that was showered upon him by
-Totty Trimm. But he was not easily consoled. As the days followed each
-other his face grew darker and his humour more gloomy. He could neither
-work nor read with any satisfaction and he found even less pleasure in
-the society of men and women than in his own. He would not have married
-Constance now, if she had offered herself to him, and implored him to
-take her. If it had been possible, he would gladly have gone abroad for
-a few months, in the hope of forgetting what had happened to him amidst
-the varied discomforts, amusements and interests of travelling. But he
-could not throw up certain engagements he had contracted, though at
-first it seemed impossible to fulfil them. He promised himself that as
-soon as he had accomplished his task he would start upon a journey
-without giving himself the trouble of defining its ultimate direction.
-For the present he remained sullenly in New York, sitting for hours at
-his table, a pen held idly between his fingers, his uneasy glance
-wandering from the paper before him to the wall opposite, from the wall
-to the window, from the window to his paper again. He was neither
-despondent nor hopeless. The more impossible he found it to begin his
-work, the more unyieldingly he forced himself to sit in his chair, the
-more doggedly he stuck to his determination. Writing had always seemed
-easy to him before, and he admitted no reason for its being hard now.
-With iron resolution he kept his place, revolving in his mind every
-situation and story of which he had ever heard and of which he believed
-he could make use. But though he turned, and twisted, and tormented
-every idea that presented itself, he could find neither plot nor scene
-nor characters in the aching void of his brain. Hour after hour, day
-after day, he did his best, growing thinner and more tired every day,
-feeling each afternoon more exhausted by the fruitless contest he was
-sustaining against the apathy of his intelligence. But when the stated
-time for work was past, and he pushed back the sheet of paper, sometimes
-as white as when he had taken it in the morning, sometimes covered with
-incoherent notes that were utterly worthless, when he felt that he had
-done his duty and could not be held responsible for the miserable
-result, when his head ached, his brow was furrowed, and his sight had
-become uncertain, then at last he gave himself up to the contemplation
-of his own wretchedness and to the pain of his utter desolation.
-
-Totty did her best to attract him to her house as often as possible. He
-was vaguely surprised that she should stay so long in town, but he
-troubled himself very little about her motives, and as he never made any
-remark to her on the subject, she volunteered no explanation. She would
-have found it hard to invent one if she had been pressed to do so. It
-was hotter than usual at that season, and Mamie was greatly in need of a
-change. Totty could not plead a desire to make economies as a plausible
-excuse with any chance of being believed, and even Tom Craik, whose
-health usually supplied her with reasons for doing anything she wanted
-to do, had betaken himself to Newport. She seemed to have lost her
-interest in his movements and doings of late and had begun to express a
-pious belief that only heaven itself could interfere successfully when a
-man took such rash liberties with his health. Mr. Craik, indeed, lived
-by the book of arithmetic as Tybalt fought, his food was weighed, his
-hours of sleep and half-hours of repose were counted and regulated by
-untiring attendants, the thickness of his clothing at each season was
-prescribed by a great authority and his goings out and comings in were
-registered for the latter’s inspection, carriage-makers invented
-vehicles for his use, upholsterers devised systems of springs and
-cushions for his rest and when he travelled he performed his journeys in
-his own car. It was hard to see where Totty could have been of use to
-him, since he did not care for her conversation and could buy better
-advice than she could give.
-
-If George had even suspected that Totty was responsible for the report
-spread concerning him and Constance, he would have renounced his
-cousin’s acquaintance and would never have entered her house again, not
-even for the sake of his old friendship with Sherry Trimm. But Totty’s
-skill and tact had not been at fault. In her own opinion she had made
-one failure in her life and one mistake. She had failed to induce her
-brother to change his will a second time, and she had committed a very
-grave error in opening the will itself in the strong room instead of
-bringing it home with her and lifting the seal with a hot knife, so as
-to be able to restore it with all its original appearance of security.
-The question of the will still disturbed her, but she was not a cowardly
-woman, and, in particular, she was not afraid of her husband. If worst
-came to worst, she would throw herself upon his mercy, confess her
-curiosity, give him back the document, clear her conscience and let him
-scold as he pleased. He would never tell any one, and Totty was not
-afraid of making great personal sacrifices when she could escape from a
-situation in no other way. At the present time the main thing of
-importance was to please George, and to induce him to make her house his
-own as much as possible. If Sherrington, knowing George’s financial
-situation, came back and found him engaged to marry Mamie, it would not
-be human in him to bear malice against his wife for the part she had
-played. Remorse she had none. She only regretted that she should have so
-far forgotten her caution as to do clumsily what she had done. She would
-neither fail nor make mistakes again.
-
-She knew what she meant to do, and she knew how to do it. A man in
-George’s situation is not easily affected by words no matter how
-skilfully put together nor how kindly uttered. He either does not hear
-them at all, or pays no attention to them, or puts no faith in them. It
-is more easy to soothe his humour by giving him agreeable surroundings
-than by talking to him. He has no appetite, but he may be tempted by new
-and exquisite dishes. He wants stimulants, and an especial brand of very
-dry champagne flatters his palate, exhilarates his nervous system and
-produces no evil consequences. He smokes more than is good for him, and
-in that case it is better that he should smoke the most delicate cigars
-imported directly from Havana, than that he should saturate his brain
-with nicotine from a vulgar pipe—Totty thought all pipes vulgar. The
-love-lorn wretch is uneasy, but he is less restless when he is left to
-himself for half an hour after dinner, in an absolutely perfect
-easy-chair, with an absolutely perfect light, and with all the newest
-and greatest reviews of the world at his elbow. He loathes the thought
-of conversational effort, but he can listen with a lazy satisfaction to
-the social chatter of a clever mother and her beautiful daughter, or his
-sensitive ears may even bear the reading aloud of the last really good
-novel. It is distressing to learn the next day that he does not remember
-the name of the hero nor the colour of the heroine’s hair, and that he
-does not care to hear any more of the book. But it is no matter.
-Feminine invention is not at an end. It is late in May and there is a
-full moon. Would he enjoy a drive in the Park? He may smoke in the open
-carriage, if he pleases, for both the ladies like it. Or it will be
-Sunday to-morrow, and he never works on Sunday. Would it be very wrong
-to run out for the day on board of Mr. Craik’s yacht, instead of going
-to church? Totty has the use of the yacht whenever she likes, and she
-can take her prayer-book on board and read the service with Mamie while
-George lies on deck and meditates. It is a steam-yacht, and it is no
-matter whether the weather is calm or not. If he likes they can go up
-the river with her instead. Or would he not care to have a horse waiting
-for him at seven in the morning at the corner of the Park? There are all
-those horses eating their heads off. It would be too early for Mamie to
-ride with him, unless he positively insists upon it, but it could not
-interfere with his day’s work. He has forgotten to write a letter? Poor
-fellow, when he has been working all day long. It is a very important
-letter, and must be posted to-night. There is the luxurious
-writing-table with its perfect appliances, its shaded candles, the
-beautiful “Charta Perfecta,” the smoothly-flowing ink that is changed
-every morning, the very pens he always uses, the spotless
-blotting-paper, wax and seals, if he needs them, and postage-stamps
-ready and separated from each other in the silver box—there is even a
-tiny sponge set in a little stand on which to moisten them, lest the
-coarse taste of the Government gum should offend the flavour of the
-Turkish coffee he has been drinking. He has an idea? He would like to
-make notes? There is the library beyond that door. It is lighted. He has
-only to shut himself in as long as he pleases. There is a box of those
-cigars on the table. He has forgotten his handkerchief? A touch of the
-bell, an order, and here are two of dear Sherrington’s, silk or linen,
-whichever he prefers. The evening is hot? The windows are open and there
-is a mint-julep with a straw in it by his side. Or is it a little
-chilly? Everything is closed, the lamps are all lighted, and the subtle
-perfume of Imperial tea floats on the softened air. All is noiseless,
-perfect, soothing, beyond description, and yet so natural that he cannot
-feel as though it gave the least thought or trouble, nor as if it were
-all skilfully prepared for his especial benefit. He wonders why Sherry
-Trimm ever goes to the club, when he could spend his evenings in such a
-home, he closes his eyes, thinks of his unwritten book and asks himself
-whether the wheel of fortune will ever in its revolutions give him a
-right of his own to such supreme refinement of comfort.
-
-It would have been strange, indeed, if George’s humour had not been
-somewhat softened by so much luxury. He had liked what he could taste of
-it in his old days, when Totty had hardly ever asked him to dinner and
-had never expected to see him in the evening, in the days when he was a
-poor, unhappy nobody, and only a shabby relation of Mrs. Sherrington
-Trimm’s. There had not been much done for his comfort then, when he came
-to the house, but the softness of the carpets, the elasticity of the
-easy-chairs and the harmony of all details had seemed delightful to him,
-and Totty had always been kind and good-natured. But he had seen many
-things in the last two years, and was by no means so ready to be pleased
-as he had been when his only evening coat had been in a chronic state of
-repair. He had eaten terrapin and canvas-back off old Saxon china, and
-he had looked upon the champagne when it was of the most expensive
-quality. He had dined in grandeur with men whose millions were legion,
-and he had supped with epicures who knew what they got for their money.
-He had seen all sorts of society in his native city, all sorts of vulgar
-display, all sorts of unostentatious but enormously expensive luxury,
-all sorts of gilded splendour, and all sorts of faultless refinements in
-taste. But now, after he had dined and spent the evening with Totty half
-a dozen times in the course of a fortnight, he was ready to admit that
-he had never been in an establishment so perfect at all points, so
-quietly managed, so absolutely comfortable and so unpretentiously
-sybaritic in all its details. Totty and her husband were undoubtedly
-rich, but they were no richer than hundreds of people he knew. It was
-not money alone that produced the results he saw, and the certainty that
-the household was managed upon a sort of artistic principle of enjoyment
-gave him intense satisfaction. There was the same difference between
-Totty’s way of living and that of most of her friends, that there is
-between a piece of work done by hand and the stereotyped copy of it made
-by machinery, the same difference there is between an illuminated
-manuscript and its lithographed fac-simile. The one is full of the
-individuality of the great artist, the other presents the perfection of
-execution without inspiration. The one charms, the other only pleases.
-
-George appreciated most thoroughly at the end of the first week
-everything he ate, drank, felt and saw at his cousin’s house, and what
-he heard was by no means as wearisome to his intelligence as he had
-supposed that it must be. Totty was far too clever a woman to flatter
-him openly, for she was keen enough to perceive that he was one of those
-men who feel a sort of repulsion for the work they have done and who put
-little faith in the judgment of others concerning it. She soon found out
-that he did not care to see his books lying upon the drawing-room table
-and that he suspected her of leaving them there with the deliberate
-intention of flattering him. They disappeared into the shelves of the
-library and were seen no more. But when George was reading the papers or
-a review—a form of rudeness in which she constantly encouraged him, she
-occasionally took the opportunity of introducing into her quiet
-conversation with Mamie some expression or some thought which he had
-used or developed in his writings. She avoided quotation, which she had
-always considered vulgar, and exercised her ingenuity in letting his
-favourite ideas fall from her lips in a perfectly natural manner. Though
-he was not supposed to be listening, he often heard her remarks, and was
-unconsciously pleased. The subtlety of the flatterer could go no
-further. Nor was that part of the talk which concerned himself neither
-directly nor indirectly by any means tiresome. Totty possessed very good
-powers of conversation, and could talk very much better than most women
-when she pleased. If she pretended to abhor the name of culture and
-generally affected an air of indifference to everything that did not
-affect her neighbours or herself, she did so with a wise premeditation
-and an excellent judgment of her hearers’ capacities. But her own
-husband was fond of more intelligent subjects, and was a man of varied
-experience and wide reading, who liked to talk of what he read and saw.
-Totty’s memory was excellent, and as she gave herself almost as much
-trouble to please Sherrington as she was now taking to please George,
-she had acquired the art of amusing her husband without any apparent
-exertion. What she said was never very profound, unless she had got it
-by heart, but the matter of it was generally clear and very fairly well
-expressed.
-
-As for Mamie, she was perfectly happy, for she was unconsciously very
-much in love with George, and to see him so often and in such intimacy
-was inexpressibly delightful. It was a pleasure even to see him sitting
-silent in his chair, it was happiness to hear him speak and it was
-positive joy to wait upon him. She had been more disturbed than she had
-been aware by his evident devotion to Constance Fearing during the
-winter. The gossip about the broken engagement had given her the keenest
-pain, due to the fact, as she supposed, that Constance was totally
-unworthy of the man she had jilted. But George’s own assurance that no
-engagement had ever existed had driven the clouds from her sky, although
-his own subsequent conduct might well have aroused her suspicions.
-Totty, however, took good care to explain to her that the talk had been
-entirely without foundation and that George’s silence and gloomy ways
-were the result of overwork. She hoped, she said, to induce him to spend
-the summer with them and to give himself a long rest.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVI.
-
-
-“Dear George,” said Totty, one evening near the end of May, “I hate the
-idea of going away and leaving you here in the heat!”
-
-“So do I,” answered George, thoughtfully, as he turned in his chair and
-looked at his cousin’s face.
-
-“I am sure you will fall ill. There will be nobody to take care of you,
-no place where you can drop in to dinner when you feel inclined, and
-where you can do just as you like. And yet—you see how Mamie is looking!
-I cannot conscientiously keep her here any longer.”
-
-“Good heavens, Totty, you must not think of it! You do not mean to say
-you have been waiting here only on my account?”
-
-Totty Trimm hesitated, withdrew one tiny foot, of which the point had
-projected beyond the skirt of her tea-gown, and then put out the other
-and looked at it curiously. They were both so small and pointed that
-George could not have told which was the right and which the left. She
-hesitated because she had not anticipated the question. George was not
-like other men. He would not be flattered by merely being informed that
-the whole Sherrington Trimm establishment had been kept up a month
-beyond the usual time, on a war footing, as it were, for his sole and
-express benefit. Most men would be pleased at being considered of enough
-importance to be told such a thing, though they might not believe the
-statement altogether. It was necessary that George should know that
-Totty was speaking the truth, if she answered his question directly. She
-hesitated and looked at the point of her little slipper.
-
-“What does it matter?” she asked, suddenly, looking up and smiling at
-him affectionately.
-
-It was very well done. The strongest asseverations could not have
-expressed more clearly her readiness to sacrifice everything she could
-to his comfort. George was touched.
-
-“You have been very good to me, Totty. I cannot thank you enough.” He
-took her hand and pressed it warmly.
-
-“What is the use of having friends unless they will stand by you?” she
-asked, returning the pressure, while her face grew grave and sad.
-
-Since she had written her first note after his disappointment, she had
-never referred to his troubles. He had answered her on that occasion as
-he answered every one, by saying that there had never been any
-engagement, and he had marvelled at her exceeding tact in avoiding the
-subject ever since. Her reference to it now, however, seemed natural,
-and did not hurt him.
-
-“You have been more than a friend to me,” he answered. “I feel as though
-you were my sister—only, if you were, I suppose I should be less
-grateful.”
-
-“No, you would not,” said Totty with a smile of genuine pleasure
-produced of course by the success of her operations. “Do you want to do
-something to please me? Something to show your gratitude?”
-
-“Whatever I can——”
-
-“Come and spend the summer with us—no, I do not mean you to make a visit
-of a month or six weeks. Pack up all your belongings, come down with us
-and be one of the family, till we are ready to come back to town. Make
-your headquarters with us, write your book, go away and make visits for
-a week when you like, but consider that our house is your home. Will
-you?”
-
-“But, Totty, you would be sick of the sight of me——” Visions of an
-enchanted existence by the river rose before George’s eyes. He was to
-some extent intellectually demoralised, and every agreeable prospect in
-the future resolved itself into the thought of mental rest superinduced
-by boundless luxury and material comfort.
-
-“What an idea!” exclaimed Totty indignantly. “Besides, if you knew how
-interested I am in making the proposal, you would see that you would be
-conferring a favour instead of accepting one.”
-
-She laughed softly when she had finished the sentence, thinking how very
-true her words were.
-
-“I cannot understand how,” George answered. “Please explain. I really
-cannot see how I shall be conferring a favour by eating your wonderful
-dinners and drinking that champagne of Sherry’s.”
-
-Totty laughed again.
-
-“I wish you would finish it! It would be ever so much better for his
-liver, if you would.”
-
-She wondered what George would think if he knew that a fresh supply of
-that particular brand of brut was already on its way from France,
-ordered in the hope that he might accept the invitation she was now
-pressing upon him.
-
-“And as for the cook,” she continued, “he will do nothing unless there
-is a man in the party. That is it, George. I have told you now. Dear
-Sherry is not coming back until the autumn, and Mamie and I feel
-dreadfully unprotected down there all by ourselves. Please, please come
-and take care of us. I knew you would come—oh, I am so glad! It is such
-a relief to feel that you will be with us!”
-
-As indeed it was, since if George was under Totty’s personal supervision
-there would be no chance of his returning to his former allegiance to
-Constance. George himself saw that her reasons were not serious, and
-considering the previous conversation and its earnest tone, he thought
-that he saw through Totty’s playfulness and kindly wish to do a very
-friendly action.
-
-“I will tell you what I will do,” he said. “I will come for a month——”
-
-“No—I will not have you for a month, nor for two months—the whole summer
-or nothing.”
-
-So George at last consented, and left town two or three days later with
-Mrs. Sherrington Trimm and her daughter. He had felt that in some way he
-was acting weakly, and that he had yielded too easily to his cousin’s
-invitation, but if he had been in any doubt about her sincere desire to
-keep him during the whole season, his anxiety was removed when as soon
-as he was established in his new quarters Totty immediately began to
-talk of plans for the months before them, in all of which George played
-a principal part, and Mamie took it for granted that there was to be no
-separation until they should all go back to New York together. During
-the first few days George allowed himself to be utterly idle and let the
-hours pass with an indifference to all thought which he had never known
-before.
-
-He had been transported into a sort of fairyland, of which he had
-enjoyed occasional glimpses at other times, but which he had never had
-an opportunity of knowing intimately. It was unlike anything in his
-experience. Even the journey had not reminded him of other journeys, for
-it had been performed in that luxurious privacy which is dear to the
-refined American. Mr. Craik’s yacht was permanently at his sister’s
-disposal, and on the morning appointed for the departure she and Mamie
-and George had driven down to the pier at their leisure and had gone on
-board. It had been but a step from the perfectly appointed house in the
-city to the equally perfect dwelling on the water, and only one step
-more from the snowy deck of the yacht to the flower garden before the
-country mansion on the banks of the great river. Everything had been
-ready for them, on board and on shore, and George could not realise when
-the journey was over that he had been carried over a distance which he
-formerly only traversed in the heat and dust of a noisy train, or on the
-crowded deck of a river steamboat. He had passed the hot hours sitting
-under the cool shade of a double awning, in the most comfortable of
-chairs beside Mamie Trimm and opposite to her mother. There had been no
-noise, no tramping of sailors, no blowing of whistles, no shouting of
-orders. From time to time, indeed, he caught a glimpse of the captain’s
-feet as he paced the bridge, but that was all. At mid-day a servant had
-appeared and Totty had glanced at him, glanced at the table beside her
-and nodded. Immediately luncheon had been served and George had
-recognised the touch of the master in the two or three delicacies he had
-tasted, and had found in his glass wine of the famous brand which was
-said to have caused Sherry Trimm’s sufferings. He had divided with Mamie
-a priceless peach, which had no natural right to be ripe on the last day
-of May, and Totty had selected for him a little bunch of muscat grapes
-such as he might not have eaten in the south before September. George
-tasted the ambrosia and swallowed the nectar, and enjoyed the beautiful
-scenery, the two pretty faces and the pleasant voices in his ear,
-thinking, perhaps, of the old times when after a desperate morning’s
-work at reviewing trash, he had sat down to a luncheon of cold meat,
-pickles and tea. The thought of the contrast made the present more
-delightful.
-
-The spell was not broken, and Totty’s country-house prolonged without
-interruption the series of exquisite sensations which had been
-intermittent during the last month in New York. If Totty had intended to
-play the part of the tempter instead of being the chief comforter, she
-could not have done it with a more diabolical skill. She believed that a
-man could always be more easily attacked by the senses than by his
-intelligence, and she put every principle of her belief into her acts.
-She partly knew, and partly guessed, the manner of George’s former life,
-the absence of luxury, the monotony of an existence in which common
-necessities were always provided for in the same way, without stint but
-without variety. Her art consisted in creating contrasts of unlike
-perfections, so that the senses, unable to decide between the amount of
-pleasure experienced yesterday, enjoyed to-day and anticipated
-to-morrow, should be kept in a constant state of suspended judgment. She
-had practised this system with her husband and it had often succeeded in
-persuading him to let her have her own way, and she practised it
-continually for her own personal satisfaction, as being the only means
-of extracting all possible enjoyment from her existence.
-
-George fell under the charm without even making an effort to resist it.
-Why, he asked himself dreamily, should he resist anything that was good
-in itself and harmless in its consequences? His life had all at once
-fallen in pleasant places. Should he disappoint Totty and give Mamie
-pain by a sudden determination to break up all their plans and return to
-the heat of the city? He could work here as well as anywhere else,
-better if there was any truth in the theory that the mind should be more
-active when the body is subject to no pain or inconvenience. A deal of
-asceticism had been forced upon him since he had been seventeen years
-old, and he believed that a surfeit of luxuries would do him no harm
-now. He would get tired of it all, no doubt, and would be very glad to
-go back to his more simple existence.
-
-Totty, however, was far too accomplished an Epicurean to allow her
-patient a surfeit of anything. She watched him more narrowly than he
-supposed and was ready with a change, not when she saw signs of fatigue
-in his manner, his face or his appetite, but before that, as soon as she
-had seen that he was pleased. She was playing a great game and her
-attention never relaxed. There was a fortune at stake of which he
-himself did not dream, and of which even she did not know the extent.
-She had everything in her favour. The coast was clear, for Sherrington
-was in Europe. The final scene was prepared, since Mamie was already in
-love with George. She herself was a past master of scene-shifting and
-her theatre was well provided with properties of every description. All
-that was necessary was that the hero should take a fancy to the heroine.
-But the very fact that it all looked so easy aroused Totty’s anxiety.
-She said to herself that what appeared to be most simple was often, in
-reality, most difficult, and she warned herself to be careful and
-diffident of success.
-
-Fortunately Mamie was all she could desire her to be. She did not
-believe in beauty as a means of attracting a disappointed man. Beauty
-could only draw his mind into making comparisons, and comparisons must
-revive recollection and reawaken regret. She had more faith in Mamie’s
-subtle charm of manner, voice and motion than she would have had in all
-the faultless perfections of classic features, queenly stature and royal
-carriage. That charm of hers, gave her an individuality of her own, such
-as Constance Fearing had never possessed, unlike anything that George
-had ever noticed in other girls or women. Doubtless he might have too
-much of that, too, as well as of other things, but Totty was even more
-cautious of the effects she produced with Mamie than of those she
-brought about by her minute attention to the management of her house.
-And here her greatest skill appeared, for she had to play a game of
-three-sided duplicity. She had to please George, without wearying him,
-to regulate the intercourse between the two so as to suit her own ends,
-and to invent reasons for making Mamie behave as she desired that she
-should without communicating to the girl a word of her intentions. If
-George appeared to have been enjoying especially a quiet conversation
-with Mamie, he must be prevented from talking to her again alone for at
-least twenty-four hours, and even then he must be allowed to please
-himself in the matter. This was not easy, for Mamie was by this time
-blindly in love with him, and if she were not watched would be foolish
-enough to bore him by her frequent presence at his side. To keep her
-away from him long enough to make him want her company needed much
-diplomacy. If George went out for a turn in the garden, and if Mamie
-joined him without an invitation, Totty could not pursue the pair in
-order to protect George from being bored. Hitherto also, Mamie had made
-no confidences to her mother and did not seem inclined to make any.
-Manifestly, if an accident could happen by which Mamie could be brought
-to betray herself to her careful parent, great advantages would ensue.
-The careful parent would then appear as the firm and skilful ally of the
-love-lorn daughter, the two would act in concert and great results might
-be effected. Totty was not only really fond of George, in her own way,
-but it would not have suited her that a hair of his head should be
-injured. Nevertheless, she nourished all sorts of malicious hopes
-against him at this stage. She wished that he might be thrown from his
-horse and brought home unhurt but insensible, or that he might upset his
-boat on the river under Mamie’s eyes—in short that something might
-happen to him which should give Mamie a shock and throw her into her
-mother’s arms.
-
-Providence, however, did not come to Totty’s assistance and she was
-thrown upon her own resources, aided in some small degree by an
-extraneous circumstance. The marriage of John Bond and Grace Fearing had
-been talked of for a long time, and Totty one morning learned that it
-was to take place immediately. She could not guess why they had chosen
-to be married in the very middle of the summer, when all their friends
-were out of town, and she had no inclination to go to the wedding, which
-was to be conducted without any great gathering or display of festivity.
-John Bond, as being Sherrington Trimm’s partner and an old friend of
-Totty’s, urged her of course to come down to town for the occasion and
-to bring Mamie, but the heat was intense, and as there would be nothing
-to see and no one present with whom she would care to talk, and nothing
-good to eat, and, on the whole, nothing whatever to do except to grin
-and look pleased, Totty made up her mind that she would have nothing to
-do with the affair, beyond sending Grace an expensive present. There
-were no regular invitations sent out, and George received no notice of
-what was happening. Totty, however, did not lose the opportunity of
-talking to Mamie about it all, with a view to sounding her views upon
-matrimony in general and upon her own future in particular.
-
-“Johnnie Bond is such a fine fellow!” said Totty to her daughter, when
-they had been talking for some time.
-
-Mamie admitted that he was a very fine fellow, indeed.
-
-“Tell me, Mamie,” said her mother, assuming a tone at once cheerful and
-confidential, “is not Johnnie Bond very nearly your ideal of what a
-husband ought to be?”
-
-“Not in the least!” answered the young girl promptly. Totty looked very
-much surprised.
-
-“No? Why, Mamie, I thought you always liked him so much!”
-
-“So I do, in a way. But he is not at all in my style, mamma.”
-
-“What is your style, as you call it?” Totty seemed intensely interested
-as she paused for an answer. Mamie blushed, and looked down at a piece
-of work she was holding.
-
-“Well—to begin with,” she said, speaking quickly, “Mr. Bond is
-three-quarters lawyer and one-quarter idiot. At least I believe so. And
-all the rest of him is boating and tennis and—everything one does, you
-know—sport and all that. I never heard him make an intelligent remark in
-his life, though papa says he is as clever as they make them, for a
-lawyer of course. You know what I mean, mamma. He is one of those
-dreadfully earnest young men, who do everything with a purpose, as if it
-meant money, and they meant to get it. Oh, I could not bear to marry one
-of them! They are all exactly alike—so many steam engines turned out by
-the same maker!”
-
-“Dear me, Mamie!” laughed Mrs. Trimm. “What very decided opinions you
-have!”
-
-“I suppose Grace Fearing has decided opinions, too, in the opposite
-direction, or she would not have married him. I never can understand
-her, either, with those great dark eyes and that determined
-expression—she looks like a girl out of a novel, and I believe there is
-no more romance about her than there is in a hat-stand! There cannot be,
-if she likes Master Johnnie Bond—and there is no reason why she should
-marry him unless she does like him, is there?”
-
-“None that I can see, but that is a very good one—good enough for any
-one, I should think. You would not care for Johnnie Bond, but you may
-care for some one else. You have not told me what your ideal would be
-like.”
-
-“Where is the use? You ought to know, mamma, without being told.”
-
-“Of course I ought, child—only I am so stupid. Would he be dark or
-fair?”
-
-“Dark,” answered the young girl, bending over her work.
-
-“And clever, I suppose? Of course. And slender, and romantic to look
-at?”
-
-“Oh, don’t, mamma! Talk about something else.”
-
-“Why? I am not sure that we might not agree about the ideal.”
-
-“No!” exclaimed Mamie with a little half scornful laugh. “We should
-never agree about him, because I would like him poor.”
-
-“You can afford to marry a poor man, if you please,” said Totty,
-thoughtfully. “But would you not be afraid that he loved your money
-better than yourself?”
-
-“No indeed! I should love him, and then—I should believe in him, of
-course.”
-
-“Then I do not see why you should not marry your ideal after all, my
-dear. Come, darling—we both know whom we are talking about. Why not say
-it to each other? I would help you then. I am almost as fond of him as
-you are.”
-
-Mamie blushed quickly and then turned pale. She looked suspiciously at
-her mother.
-
-“You are not in earnest, mamma,” she said, after a short pause.
-
-“Indeed I am, child,” answered Mrs. Trimm, meeting her gaze fearlessly.
-“Do you think that I have not known it for a long time? And do you think
-I would have brought him here if I had not been perfectly willing that
-you should marry him?”
-
-The young girl suddenly sprang up and threw her arms round her mother’s
-neck.
-
-“Oh mamma, mamma! This is too good! Too good! Too good!”
-
-“Dear child!” exclaimed Totty, kissing her affectionately. “Is not your
-happiness always the first thing in my mind? Would I not sacrifice
-everything for that?”
-
-“Yes—you are so sweet and dear. I know you would,” said Mamie, sitting
-down beside her and resting her head upon her mother’s plump little
-shoulder. “But you see—I thought that nobody knew, because we have
-always been together so much. And then I thought you would think what
-you just said, about the money, you know. But it is not true—I mean it
-would not be true. He would never care for that.”
-
-“No,” answered Totty, almost forgetting herself. “I should think not! I
-mean—with his character—he is so honourable and fair—like your papa in
-that. But Mamie, darling, do you think he——?”
-
-Totty stopped, conveying the rest of her question by means of an
-inquiringly sympathetic smile. Mamie shook her head a little sadly, and
-looked down.
-
-“I am afraid he never will,” she said, in a low voice. “And yet he
-should, for I—oh mother! I love him so—you will never know!”
-
-She buried her face and her blushes in her hands upon her mother’s
-shoulder. Totty patted her head affectionately and kissed her curls
-several times in a very motherly way. Her own face was suffused with
-smiles for she felt that she had done a very good day’s work, and was
-surprised to think that it had been accomplished so easily. The fact was
-that Mamie was only too ready to speak of what filled her whole life,
-and had more than once been on the point of telling her mother all she
-felt. She had supposed, however, that she knew the ways of her mother’s
-wisdom, and that George’s poverty would always be an insuperable
-obstacle. She did not now in the least understand why Totty made so
-light of the question of money, and even in her great happiness at
-finding such ready sympathy she thought it very strange that she should
-have so completely mistaken her mother’s character.
-
-From that day, however, there was a tacit understanding between the two.
-Mamie was in that singular and not altogether dignified position in
-which a woman finds herself when she loves a man and has determined to
-win him, though she is not loved in return. There are doubtless many
-young women in the world who, whether for love or for interest, have
-wooed and won their present husbands, though the latter have never found
-it out, and would not believe it if it were told to them. Mamie differed
-from most of these, however, in that she was as modest as she was
-loving, and in her real distrust of her own advantages, which defect, or
-quality, was perhaps at the root of her peculiar charm. She knew that
-she was not beautiful, and she believed that beauty was a woman’s
-strongest weapon. She had yet to learn that the way to men’s hearts is
-not always through their eyes.
-
-After her confession to her mother she began to discover the value of
-that ingenious lady’s experience and tact. At first, indeed, she felt a
-modest hesitation in coolly doing what she was told, as a means of
-winning George’s heart, but she soon found out that her mother was
-always right and that she herself was generally wrong.
-
-“There is only one way of doing things,” said Totty, one day, “and that
-is the right way. There is only one thing that a man really hates, and
-that is, being bored. And men are very easily bored, my dear. A man
-likes to have everything done for him in the most perfect way, but it
-spoils his enjoyment to feel that it is done especially for him and for
-nobody else. If you are afraid he will catch cold, do not run after him
-with his hat, as though he were an invalid. That is only an example,
-Mamie. Men have an immense body of tradition to sustain, and they do it
-by keeping up appearances as well as they can. All men are supposed to
-be brave, strong, honourable, enduring and generous. They are supposed
-never to feel hot when we do, nor to catch cold when we should. It is a
-part of their stage character never to be afraid of anything, and many
-of them are far more timid than we are. I do not mean to say that dear
-George has not all the qualities a man ought to have. Certainly not. He
-is quite the finest fellow I ever knew. But he does not want you to
-notice the fact. He wants you to take it for granted, just as much as
-little Tippy Skiffington does, who is afraid of a mouse and would not
-touch a dog that had no muzzle on for all he is worth, which is saying a
-great deal. Dear George would not like it to be supposed that he cares
-for terrapin and dry champagne any more than for pork and beans—and yet
-the dear fellow is keenly alive to the difference. He does not want it
-to be thought he could ever be bored by you or me, but he knows that we
-know that he might be, and he expects us to use tact and to leave him
-alone sometimes, even for a whole day. He will be much more glad to see
-us the next time we meet him and will show it by giving himself much
-more trouble to be agreeable. It is not true that if you run away men
-will follow you. They are far too lazy for that. You must come to them,
-but not too often. What they most want is amusement, and between their
-amusements, to be allowed to do exactly what their high and mighty
-intellects suggest to them, without comment. Never ask a man where he
-has been, what he has seen, nor what he has heard. If he has anything to
-tell, he will tell you, and if he has not you only humiliate him by
-discovering the emptiness of his thoughts. Always ask his opinion. If he
-has none himself, he knows somebody who has, no matter what the subject
-may be. The difference between men and women is very simple, my dear.
-Women look greater fools than they are, and men are greater fools than
-they look—except in the things they know how to do and do well.”
-
-“George is not a fool about anything!” said Mamie indignantly. She had
-been listening with considerable interest to her mother’s homily.
-
-“George, my dear,” answered Totty, “is very foolish not to be in love
-with you at the present moment. Or, if he is, he is very foolish to hide
-it.”
-
-“I wish you would not talk like that, mamma! I am not half good enough
-for him.”
-
-Nevertheless Mamie consulted her mother and was guided by her. George
-would ride—should she accept his proposal and go with him or not? A
-word, a glance decided the matter for her, and George was none the
-wiser. He could not help thinking, however, that Mamie was becoming an
-extremely tactful young person, as well as a most agreeable companion.
-One day he could not resist his inclination to tell her so.
-
-“How clever you are, Mamie!” he exclaimed after a pause in the
-conversation.
-
-“I? Clever?” The girl’s face expressed her innocent astonishment at the
-compliment.
-
-“Yes. You are a most charming person to live with. How in the world did
-you know that I wanted to be alone yesterday, and that I wanted you to
-come with me to-day?” George laughed. “Do I not always ask you to come
-with me in precisely the same tone? Do I not always look as though I
-wanted you to come? How do you always know?”
-
-Mamie was conscious that she blushed even more than she usually did when
-she was momentarily embarrassed. Indeed, the blush had two distinct
-causes on the present occasion. She had at first been delighted by the
-compliment he had paid her, and then, immediately afterwards, when he
-explained what he meant, she had felt her shame burning in her face. On
-the previous day, as on the present afternoon, she had blindly followed
-her mother’s advice, given by an almost imperceptible motion of the head
-and eyes that had indicated a negation on the first occasion and assent
-on the second. She was silent now, and could find no words with which to
-answer his question.
-
-“How do you do it?” he asked again, wondering at her embarrassment, and
-slackening the pace at which he rowed, for they were in a boat together
-towards sunset.
-
-Mamie’s eyes suddenly filled with hot tears and she hid her face with
-her small hands.
-
-“Why, Mamie dear, what is it?” George asked, resting on his oars and
-leaning forward.
-
-“O George,” she sobbed, “if you only knew!”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVII.
-
-
-George did not forget Mamie’s strange behaviour in the boat, and he
-devoted much time to the study of the problem it presented. To judge
-from the girl’s conduct alone, she must be in love with him, and yet he
-did not like the idea and took the greatest pains to keep it out of his
-mind. He was not in the humour in which it is a pleasant surprise to a
-man to discover unexpected affection for himself in a quarter where he
-has not expected to find it. Moreover, if he had once made sure that
-Mamie loved him, he would probably have thought it his duty to go away
-as quickly as possible. Such a decision would have deprived him of much
-that he enjoyed and it was desirable in the interests of his selfishness
-that it should be put off as long as possible.
-
-At that time George began to feel the desire for work creeping upon him
-once more. During a few weeks only had it been in his power to put away
-the habit of writing, and to close his eyes to all responsibility. Those
-had been days when the whole world had seemed to be upside down, as in a
-dream, while he himself moved in the midst of a disordered creation,
-uncertainty, like a soulless creature, without the capacity for
-independent action nor the intelligence to form any distinct intention
-from one moment to another. He took what he found in his way without
-understanding, though not without an odd appreciation of what was good,
-very much as Eastern princes receive European hospitality. He was
-grateful at least that his life should be made so smooth for the time,
-for he was dimly conscious that anything outwardly rough or coarse would
-have exasperated him to madness. He believed that he thought a great
-deal about the past, but when he attempted to give his meditations a
-shape, they would accept none. In reality he was not thinking, though
-the mirror of his memory was filled with fleeting reflections of his
-former life, some clear and startlingly vivid, others distorted and
-broken, but all more or less beautified by the shadowy presence of a
-being he had loved better than himself, and from whom he was separated
-for ever.
-
-With such a man, however, idleness was as impossible as the desire for
-expression was irresistible. Since he had written his first book, and
-had discovered what it was that he was born to do, he had taken up a
-burden which he could not lay down and had sworn allegiance to a master
-from whom he could not escape. Not even the bitter and overwhelming
-disappointment that had come upon him could kill the desire to write. He
-was almost ashamed of it at first, for he felt that though everything he
-loved best in the world were dead before him, he should be driven within
-a few weeks to take up his pen again and open his inner eyes and ears to
-the play of his mind’s stage.
-
-The power to do certain things is rarely separated from the necessity
-for doing them, and the fact that they are well done by no means proves
-that the doer has forgotten the blow that recently overwhelmed his heart
-in darkness and his daily life in an almost uncontrollable grief. There
-are two lives for most men, whatever their careers may be, and the
-absence of either of these lives makes a man produce an impression of
-incompleteness upon those who know him. When any one lives only by the
-existence of the heart, without active occupation, without manifesting
-inclination, taste or talent for outward things, we say that he has no
-interest in life, and is much to be pitied. But we say that a man is
-heartless and selfish who appears to devote every thought to his
-occupation and every moment to increasing the chances of his success. In
-the lives of great men we search with an especial pleasure for all that
-can show us the working of their hearts, and we remember with delight
-whatever we find that indicates a separate and inner chain of events, of
-which the links have been loves and friendships kept secret from the
-world. The more nearly the two lives have coincided, the more happy we
-judge the man to have been, the more out of tune and discordant with
-each other, the more we feel that his existence must have seemed a
-failure in his own eyes; and when we are told only of his doings before
-the world, without one touch of softer feeling, we lay aside the book of
-his biography and say that it is badly written and that we are surprised
-to find that a man so uninteresting in himself should have exercised so
-much influence over his times.
-
-George Wood had neither forgotten Constance, nor had he recovered from
-the wound he had received, and yet within a day or two of his resuming
-his work, he found that his love of it was not diminished nor his
-strength to do it abated. It was not happiness to write, but it was
-satisfaction. His hesitation was gone now, and his hand had recovered
-its cunning. He no longer sat for hours before a blank sheet of paper,
-staring at the wall and racking his brain in the hope that a character
-of some sort would suddenly start into shape and life from the chaotic
-darkness he was facing. Until the first difficulties that attend the
-beginning of a book were overcome, he had still a lingering and
-unacknowledged suspicion that he could do nothing good without the daily
-criticism and unfailing applause he had been accustomed to receive from
-Constance during his former efforts. When he was fairly launched, he
-felt proud of being able to do without her. For the first time he was
-depending solely upon his own judgment, as he had always relied upon his
-own ideas, and his judgment decided that what he did was good.
-
-From that time the arrangement of his day took again the definite shape
-in which he had always known it, and the mere distribution of his hours
-between work and rest gave him back confidence in himself. He began to
-see his surroundings from a more intelligent point of view, and to take
-a keener interest in things and people. Though he had by no means
-recovered from the first great shock of his life, and though in his
-heart he was as bitter as ever against her who had inflicted it, yet his
-mind was already convalescent and was being rapidly restored to its
-former vigour. There was power in his imagination, strength in his
-language and harmony in his style. What he thought took shape, and the
-shape found expression.
-
-He soon found that under these circumstances life was bearable, and
-often enjoyable. Very gradually, as his concentrated attention became
-absorbed in his own creations, the face of Constance Fearing appeared
-less often in his dreams, and the heartbroken tones of her voice rang
-less continually in his ears. He was not forgetting, but the physical
-impressions of sight and sound upon his senses were wearing off.
-Occasionally indeed they would return with startling force and
-vividness, awakening in him for one moment the reality of all he had
-suffered. At such times he could see again, as though face to face, her
-expression at the instant when she had seemed to relinquish the attempt
-to soften him, and he could hear again the plaintive accents of her
-words and the painful cadence of her sobbing voice. But such visitations
-grew daily more rare and at last almost ceased altogether.
-
-For what he had done himself he felt no remorse. His mind was not made
-like hers, and he would never be able to understand that she had done
-violence to her own heart in casting him off. He would learn perhaps
-some day to describe what she had done, to analyse her motives from his
-own point of view, but he would never be able to think of her as she
-thought of herself. In his eyes she would always be a little
-contemptible, even when time’s charitable mists should have descended
-upon the past and softened all its outlines. He was cut off from her by
-one of the most impassable barriers which can be raised in the human
-heart, by his resentment against himself for having been deceived.
-
-He did not ask himself whether he could ever love again. There was a
-strength in his present position, which almost pleased him. He had done
-with love and was free to speak of it as he chose, without regard for
-any one’s feelings, without respect for the passion itself, if it suited
-his humour. There had been nothing boyish in the pure and passionate
-affection under which he had lived during two of the most important
-years in his life. He had felt all that a man can feel in the deep
-devotion to one spotless object. There would never again be anything so
-high and noble and untainted in all the years that were to come for him,
-and he knew it. The determination he had felt to be necessary in the
-first moment of his anger had carried itself out almost without any
-direction from his will. The Constance he had loved so dearly, was not
-the Constance who had refused to marry him, and who had dealt him such a
-cruel blow. The two were separated and he could still love the one,
-while hating and despising the other. But although he might meet the
-girl whose face and form and look and voice were those of her he had
-lost, this second Constance could never take the other’s place. A word
-from her could not put fire into his heart, nor raise in his brain the
-vision of a magnificent inspiration. A touch from her hand could send no
-thrill of pleasure through his frame, there would be no joy in looking
-upon her fair face when next he saw it. She might say to him all that he
-had once said to her, she might appeal passionately to the love that was
-now dead, she might offer him her heart, her body and her soul. He
-wanted none of the three now. The break had been final and definite,
-love’s path had broken off upon the edge of the precipice, and though
-she might stand on the old familiar way and beckon to him to come over
-and meet her, there was that between them which no man could cross.
-
-Like all great passions the one through which George Wood had passed had
-produced upon him a definite effect, which could be appreciated, if not
-accurately measured. He was older in every way now than he had been two
-years and a half earlier, but older chiefly in his understanding of
-human nature. He knew, now, what men and women felt in certain
-circumstances, his instinct told him truly what it had formerly only
-vaguely suggested. The inevitable logic of life had taken him up as a
-problem, had dealt with him as with a subject fitted to its hand, and
-had forced upon him a solution of himself. Where he had entertained
-doubts, he now felt certainty, where he had hesitated in expressing the
-judgment of his tastes he now found his verdicts already considered and
-only awaiting delivery. Many months later, when the book he was now
-writing was published it was a new surprise to his readers. His first
-attempts had been noticeable for their beauty, his last book was
-remarkable for its truth.
-
-Meanwhile his intimacy with Mamie grew unheeded by himself. During the
-many hours of each day in which he had no fixed occupation, he was
-almost constantly with her, and their conversation was at last only
-interrupted each evening to begin again the next afternoon, when he had
-done his work and came out of his room in search of relaxation. He had
-never found any explanation for her embarrassment on that day when he
-had been rowing her about on the river, and after a time he had ceased
-to seek for one. His brain was too busy with other things, and what he
-wanted when he was with her was rest rather than exercise for his
-curiosity in trying to solve the small enigmas of her girlish thoughts.
-She was a very pleasant companion, and that was all he cared to know.
-She brought about him an atmosphere of genuine and affectionate
-admiration that gave him confidence in himself and smoothed the furrows
-of his imagination when he had been giving that faculty more to do than
-was good for it.
-
-Mamie, too, was happier than she had been a month earlier. She had no
-longer to suffer the humiliation of taking her mother’s advice about
-what she should do, and she could enjoy George’s company without feeling
-that she had been told to enjoy it in her own interest. As she learned
-to love him more and more, she was quick also to understand his ways.
-Signs that had formerly escaped her altogether were now as clear to her
-comprehension as words themselves. She knew, now, almost before he knew
-it himself, whether he wanted her to join him, or not, whether he
-preferred to talk or to be silent, whether he would like this question
-or that which she thought of asking him, or whether he would resent it
-and make her feel that she had made a mistake. One day, she ventured to
-mention Constance’s name.
-
-George had never visited the Fearings in their country-place, and was
-not aware until he came to stay with his cousin that they lived on the
-opposite shore of the river. Their house was not visible from the
-Trimms’ side, as it was surrounded by trees, and the stream was at that
-point nearly two miles in width. Totty, however, who always had a view
-to avoiding any possibility of anything disagreeable, had very soon
-communicated the information to George in an unconcerned way, while
-pointing out and naming to him the various country-seats that could be
-seen from her part of the shore. George did not forget what he had been
-told, and if he ever crossed the river and rowed along the other bank,
-he was careful to keep away from the Fearings’ land, in order to guard
-against any unpleasant meetings.
-
-Now it chanced that on a certain afternoon he was pulling leisurely up
-stream towards a place where the current was slack, and where he
-occasionally moored the wherry to an old landing in order to rest
-himself and talk more at his ease. Mamie of course was seated in the
-stern, leaning back comfortably amongst her cushions and holding the
-tiller-ropes daintily between the thumb and finger of each hand. She
-could steer very well when it was necessary, and she could even row well
-enough to make some headway against the stream, but George had been
-accustomed to being alone in a boat, and gave her very little to do when
-he was rowing.
-
-Mamie watched him idly, as his hands shot out towards her, crossed as he
-drew them steadily back and turned at the wrist to feather the oar as
-they touched his chest. Then her gaze wandered down stream towards the
-other shore, and she tried to make out the roof of the Fearings’ house
-above the trees.
-
-“George,” she said suddenly, “will you be angry?”
-
-“I am never angry,” answered her cousin. “What are you going to do now?
-If you mean to jump out of the boat I will have a line ready.”
-
-“No. I am not going to jump out of the boat. But I am so afraid you will
-be angry, after all. It is something I want to ask you. I am sure you
-will not like it!”
-
-“One way of not making me angry would be not to ask the question,”
-observed George, with a quiet smile.
-
-“But I want to ask you so much!” exclaimed the young girl, with an
-imploring look that made George’s smile turn into a laugh. He had
-laughed more than once lately, in a very natural manner.
-
-“Out with it, Mamie!” he cried, pulling his sculls briskly through the
-water. “I shall not be very angry, I daresay, and I have fallen out of
-the habit of eating little girls. What is it?”
-
-“Why do you never go and see the Fearings, George? You used to be there
-so much.”
-
-George’s expression changed, though he continued to row with the same
-even stroke. His face grew very grave and he unconsciously glanced
-across the river toward the place at which Mamie had looked.
-
-“I knew you would be angry!” she said in a repentant tone.
-
-“No,” George answered, “I am not angry. I am thinking.”
-
-He was, indeed, wondering how much of the truth the girl knew, and he
-was distrustful enough to fancy that she might have some object in
-putting the question. But Mamie was not diplomatic like her mother. She
-was simple and natural in her thoughts, and unaffected in her manner. He
-glanced at her again and saw that she was troubled by her indiscretion.
-
-“Did your mother never tell you anything about it all?” he asked after a
-long pause.
-
-“No. I only heard what everybody heard—last May, when the thing was
-talked about. I wondered—that is all—I wondered whether you had cared
-very much—for her.”
-
-Again there was a long silence, broken only by the even dipping of the
-oars and the soft swirl as they left the water.
-
-“I did care,” George answered at last. “I loved her very dearly.”
-
-He did not know why he made the confession. He had never said so much to
-any one except his own father. If he had guessed what Mamie felt for
-him, he would assuredly not have answered her question.
-
-“Are you very unhappy, still?” asked the young girl in a dreamy voice.
-
-“No. I do not think I am unhappy. I am different from what I was—that is
-all. I was at first,” he continued, without looking at his companion, of
-whose presence, indeed, he seemed scarcely conscious. “I was
-unhappy—yes, of course I was. I had loved her long. I had thought she
-would marry me. I found that she was indifferent. I shall never go and
-see her again. She does not exist for me any more—she is another person,
-whom I do not wish to know. I have loved and been disappointed, like
-many a better man, I suppose.”
-
-“Loved and been disappointed!” repeated the young girl in a very low
-voice, that hardly reached his ear. She was looking down, carelessly
-tying and untying the ends of the tiller-ropes.
-
-“Yes. That is it,” he said as though musing on something very long past.
-“You know now why I do not go there.”
-
-Then he quickened his stroke a little, and there was a sombre light in
-his dark eyes that Mamie could not see, for she was still looking down.
-She was glad that she had asked the question, seeing how he had answered
-it. There was something in his tone which told her that he was not
-mistaken about himself, and that the past was shut off from the present
-in his heart by a barrier it would be hard to break down.
-
-“Do you think you can ever love again?” she asked, after a while,
-looking suddenly into his face.
-
-“No,” he answered, avoiding her eyes. “I shall never love any woman
-again—in the same way,” he added after a moment’s pause.
-
-When he looked at her, she was very pale. He remembered all at once how
-she had changed colour and burst into tears some weeks earlier, sitting
-in that same place before him. Something was passing in her mind which
-he could not understand. He was very slow to imagine that she loved him.
-He was so dull of comprehension that he all at once began to fancy she
-might be more fond of Constance Fearing than he had guessed, that she
-might be her friend, as Totty was, and that the two had brought him to
-their country-house in the hope of soothing his anger, reviving his
-hopes, and bringing him once more into close relations with the young
-girl who had cast him off. The idea was ingenious in its folly, but his
-ready wrath rose at it.
-
-“Are you very fond of her, Mamie?” he asked, bending his heavy brows and
-speaking in a hard metallic voice.
-
-The blood rushed into the girl’s face as she answered, and her grey eyes
-flashed.
-
-“I? I hate her! I would kill her if I could!”
-
-George was completely confused. His explanation of Mamie’s behaviour had
-flashed upon him so suddenly that he had believed it the true one
-without an attempt to reason upon the matter. Now, it was destroyed in
-an instant by the girl’s angry reply. When one young woman says that she
-hates another, it is tolerably easy to judge from her tone whether she
-is in earnest or not. Though he was still sorely puzzled, the cloud
-disappeared from George’s face as quickly as it had come.
-
-“This is a revelation!” he exclaimed. “I thought you and your mother
-were devoted to them both.”
-
-“It would be like me, would it not?” Mamie emphasised her words with an
-angry little laugh.
-
-“It is not like you to hate people so savagely,” George observed,
-looking at her closely.
-
-“I should always hate anybody who hurt you—and I can hate, with all my
-heart!”
-
-“Are you so fond of me as that?”
-
-George thought that the girl was becoming every moment harder to
-understand. It had seemed a very natural question, since they had known
-each other and loved each other like brother and sister for so long. But
-he saw that there was something the matter. There was a frightened look
-in Mamie’s grey eyes which he had never seen before, as though she had
-come all at once upon a great and unexpected danger. Then all the
-outline of her face softened wonderfully with a strange and gentle
-expression under the young man’s gaze. She had never been pretty, save
-for her eyes and her alabaster skin. For one moment, now, she was
-beautiful.
-
-“Yes,” she said in an uncertain voice, “I am very fond of you—more fond
-of you than you will ever know.”
-
-Her secret was out, though she did not realise it. Then for the first
-time in George’s life, though he was nearly thirty years of age, he
-looked on the face of a woman who loved him with all her heart, and he
-knew what love meant in another, as he had known it in himself.
-
-The sun was going down behind the western hills and the dark water was
-very smooth and placid as he dipped his sculls noiselessly into the
-surface. He rowed evenly on for some minutes without speaking. Mamie was
-looking into the stream and drawing her white, ungloved hand along the
-glassy mirror.
-
-“Thank you, Mamie,” he said at last, very gently and kindly.
-
-Again there was silence as they shot along through the purple shadows.
-
-“And you, are you fond of me?” asked the young girl, looking furtively
-towards him, then blushing and gazing once more into the depths of the
-stream. George started slightly. He had not thought that the question
-would come.
-
-“Indeed I am,” he answered. He thought he heard a sigh on the rising
-evening breeze. “I grow more fond of you every day,” he added quietly,
-though he felt that he was very far from calm.
-
-So far as he had spoken, his words had been truthful. He was becoming
-more attached to Mamie every day, and she was beginning to take the
-place that Constance had occupied in his doings if not in his thoughts.
-But there was not a spark of love in his growing affection for her, and
-the discovery he had just made disturbed him exceedingly. He had never
-blamed himself for anything he had done in his intercourse with
-Constance Fearing, but he accused himself now of having misled the
-innocent girl who loved him and of having then, by a careless question,
-drawn from her a confession of what she felt. It flashed upon him
-suddenly that he had taken Constance’s place, and Mamie had taken his;
-that he had been thoughtless and cruel in all he had said and done
-during the last two months, and that she might well reproach him with
-having been heartless. A thousand incidents flooded his memory and
-crowded together upon his brain, and each brought with it a sting to his
-sense of honour. He had inadvertently done a great harm, and it had been
-done since his coming to the country. Before that, Mamie had felt for
-him exactly what he still felt for her, a simple, open-hearted
-affection. Remembering the brief struggle that had taken place in his
-mind before he had accepted Totty’s invitation, he accused himself of
-having known beforehand what would happen, and of having weakly yielded
-because he had liked the prospect of leading so luxurious an existence.
-What surprised him, however, and threw all his reflections out of
-balance was that Totty herself should not have foreseen the disaster,
-Totty the diplomatic, Totty the worldly, Totty the covetous, who would
-as soon have given her daughter to one of her servants as to penniless
-George Wood! It was past comprehension. Yet, in spite of his distress,
-he could hardly repress a smile as he imagined what Totty’s rage would
-be, should he marry Mamie and carry her off before the eyes of her
-horrified parent. Sherrington Trimm, himself, would be as well satisfied
-with him as with any other honest man, if he were sure of Mamie’s
-inclinations.
-
-Now, however, something must be done at once. He was not a weak
-creature, like Constance Fearing, to hesitate for months and years,
-practising a deception upon himself which he had not the courage to
-carry to the end. He even regretted the last words he had spoken, and
-which had been prompted by a foolish wish not to hurt the girl’s
-feelings. It would have been better if he had left them unsaid. The
-situation must be defined, the harm arrested, if it could not be undone,
-and should it seem necessary, as it probably would, he himself must
-leave the place on the following morning. He opened his mouth to speak,
-but the blood rushed to his face and he could not articulate the words.
-He was overcome with shame and remorse and he would have chosen to do
-anything, to undergo any humiliation rather than this. But in a moment
-his strong nature gathered itself and grew strong, as it always did in
-the face of great difficulties. He hated hesitation and he would not
-hesitate, cost what it might. He was not cowardly, and he would not be
-afraid.
-
-“Mamie,” he said, suddenly, and he wondered how his voice could be so
-gentle, “Mamie, I do not love you.”
-
-He had expected everything, except what happened. Mamie looked into his
-eyes, and once again in the evening light the expression of her love
-transfigured her half pretty face and lent it a completeness of beauty
-such as he had never seen.
-
-“Have you not told me that, dear?” she asked, half sadly, half lovingly.
-“It is not new. I have known it long.”
-
-George stared at her for a moment.
-
-“I feared I had not said it clearly,” he answered in low tones.
-
-“Everything you have done and said has told me that, for two months
-past. Do not say it again.”
-
-“I must go away from this place. I will go to-morrow.”
-
-She looked up with startled eyes.
-
-“Go away? Leave me? Ah, George, you will not be so unkind!”
-
-The situation was certainly as strange as it was new, and George was
-very much confused by what was happening. His resolution to make
-everything clear was, however, as unbending as before.
-
-“Mamie,” he said, “we must understand each other. Things must not go on
-as they have gone so long. If I were to stay here, do you know what I
-should be doing? I should be acting towards you as Constance Fearing
-acted with me, only it would be much worse, because I am a man, and I
-have no right to do such things, as women have.”
-
-“It is different,” said the young girl, once more looking down into the
-water.
-
-“No, it is not different,” George insisted. “I have no right to act as
-though I should ever love you, to make you think by anything I do or
-say, that such a thing is possible. I am a brute, I know. Forgive me,
-Mamie, dear. It is so much better that everything should be clearly
-understood now. We have known each other so long, and so well——”
-
-“Nothing that you can say will make it seem right to me that you should
-go away——”
-
-“It is right, nevertheless, and if I do not do it, as I should, I shall
-never forgive myself——”
-
-“I will forgive you.”
-
-“I shall hate myself——”
-
-“I will love you.”
-
-“I shall feel that I am the most miserable wretch alive.”
-
-“I shall be happy.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XVIII.
-
-
-George had rowed to a point where a deep indentation in the shore of the
-river offered a broad expanse of water in which there was but little
-current. He rested on his oars, bending his head and leaning slightly
-forward. It seemed very hard that he should suddenly be called upon to
-decide so important a question as had just arisen, at the very moment
-when he was writing the most difficult and interesting part of his book.
-To go away was not only to deprive himself of many things which he
-liked, and among those Mamie’s own society had taken the foremost place
-of late; it meant also to break the current of his ideas and to arrest
-his own progress at the most critical juncture. He remembered with
-loathing the days he had spent in his little room in New York,
-cudgelling his inert brain and racking his imagination for a plot, a
-subject, for one single character, for anything of which he might make a
-beginning. And he looked back to a nearer time, and saw how easily his
-mind had worked amidst its new and pleasant surroundings. It is no
-wonder that he hesitated. Only the artist can understand his own
-interest in his art; only the writer, and the writer of real talent, can
-tell what acute suffering it is to be interrupted in the midst of a
-piece of good work, while its success is still uncertain in the balance
-of his mind and while he still depends largely upon outward
-circumstances for the peace and quiet which are necessary to serious
-mental labour.
-
-George was not heroic, though there was a touch of quixotism in his
-nature. The temptation to stay where he was, had a force he had not
-expected. Moreover, whether he would or not, the expression he had twice
-seen in Mamie’s face on that afternoon, haunted him and fascinated him.
-He experienced the operation of a charm unknown before. He looked up and
-gazed at the young girl as she sat far back in the stern of the boat.
-She was not pretty, or at most, not more than half pretty. Her mouth was
-decidedly far too large, and her nose lacked outline. She had a fairly
-good forehead; he admitted that much, but her chin was too pointed and
-had little modelling in it, while her cheeks would have been decidedly
-uninteresting but for the extreme beauty of her complexion. She was
-looking down, and he could not see the grey eyes which were her best
-feature, but it could not be denied that the long dark drooping lashes
-and the strongly marked brown eyebrows contrasted very well with the
-transparent skin. Her hair was not bad, though it was impossible to say
-whether those little tangled ringlets were natural or were produced
-daily by the skilful appliance of artificial torsion. If her mouth was
-an exaggerated feature, at least the long, even lips were fresh and
-youthful, and, when parted, they disclosed a very perfect set of teeth.
-All this was true, and as George looked, he summed up the various points
-and decided that when Mamie wore her best expression, she might pass for
-a pretty girl.
-
-But she possessed more than that. The catalogue did not explain her
-wonderful charm. It was not, indeed, complete, and as he glanced from
-her downcast face to the outlines of her shapely figure, he felt the
-sensation a man experiences in turning quickly from the examination of a
-common object, to the contemplation of one that is very beautiful.
-Psyche herself could have boasted no greater perfection of form and
-grace than belonged to this girl whose features were almost all
-insignificant. The triumph of proportion began at her throat, under the
-small ears that were set so close to the head, and the faultless lines
-continued throughout all the curves of beauty to the point of her
-exquisite foot, to the longest finger of her classic hand. Not a line
-was too short, not a line too long, there was no straightness in any
-one, and not one of them all followed too strong a curve.
-
-George thought of Constance and made comparisons with a coolness that
-surprised himself. Constance was tall, straight, well grown, active;
-slight, indeed, but graceful enough, and gifted with much natural ease
-in motion. But that was all, so far as figure was concerned. George had
-seen a hundred girls with just the same advantages as Constance, and all
-far prettier than his cousin. Neither Constance nor any of them could
-compare with Mamie except in face. His eye rested on her now, when she
-was in repose, with untiring satisfaction, as his sight delighted in
-each new surprise of motion when she moved, whether on horseback, or
-walking, or at tennis. She represented to him the absolute ideal of
-refined animal life, combined with something spiritual that escaped
-definition, but which made itself felt in all she did and said.
-
-When he thought of depriving himself for a long time of her society, he
-discovered that he admired her far more than he had suspected. It was
-admiration, but it was nothing more. He felt no pain at the suggestion
-of leaving her, but it seemed as though he were about to be robbed of
-some object familiar to him, to keep which was a source of unfailing,
-though indolent, satisfaction. He could not imagine himself angry, if
-some man of his acquaintance had married Mamie the next day, provided
-that he might talk to her as he pleased and watch her when he liked.
-There was not warmth enough in what he felt for her to kindle one spark
-of jealousy against any one whom she might choose for a husband.
-
-But there was something added to the odd sort of attraction which the
-girl exercised over him, something which had only begun to influence him
-during the last quarter of an hour or less. She loved him, and he had
-just found it out. There is nothing more enviable than to love and be
-loved in return, and nothing more painful than to be loved to
-distraction by a person one dislikes. It may be said, perhaps, that
-nothing can be so disturbing to the judgment as to be loved by an
-individual to whom one feels oneself strongly attracted in a wholly
-different way. George Wood did not know exactly what was happening to
-him, and he did not feel himself able to judge his own case with any
-sort of impartiality; but his instinct told him to go away as soon as
-possible and to break off all intercourse with his cousin during some
-time to come. She had argued the question with him in her own way and
-had found answers to all he said, but he was not satisfied. It was his
-duty to leave Mamie, no matter at what cost, and he meant to go at once.
-
-“My dear Mamie,” he said at last, still unconsciously admiring the grace
-of her attitude, “I am very sorry for myself, but there is only one way.
-I cannot stay here any longer.”
-
-She raised her eyes and looked steadily at him.
-
-“On my account?” she asked.
-
-“Yes, and you know I am right.”
-
-“Because I have been foolish and—and—unmaidenly, I suppose.”
-
-“Dear child—how you talk!” George exclaimed. “I never said anything of
-the kind!” He was seriously embarrassed to find an answer to her
-statement.
-
-“Of course you did not say it. But you probably thought it, which is the
-same thing. After all, it is true, you know. But then, have I not a
-right to be foolish, if I please? I have known you so long.”
-
-“Yes indeed!” George answered with alacrity, for he was glad to be able
-to agree with her in something. “It is a long time, as you say—ever
-since we were children together.”
-
-“Then you think there was nothing so very bad about what I said?”
-
-“It was thoughtless—I do not know what it was. There was certainly
-nothing bad in it, and besides, you did not mean it, you know, did you?”
-
-“Then why do you want to go away?” inquired Mamie, with feminine logic,
-and candour.
-
-“Why because——” George stopped as people often do, at that word, well
-knowing what he had been about to say, but now suddenly unwilling to say
-it. In fact, to say anything under the circumstances would have been a
-flagrant breach of tact. Since Mamie almost admitted that she had meant
-nothing, she had only been making fun of him and he could not well think
-of going away without seeming ridiculous in his own eyes.
-
-“’Because,’ without anything after it, is only a woman’s reason,” said
-the young girl with a laugh.
-
-“Women’s reasons are sometimes the best. At all events, I have often
-heard you say so.”
-
-“I am often laughing at you, when I seem most in earnest, George. Have
-you never noticed that I have a fine talent for irony? Do you think that
-if I were very much in love with you, I would tell you so? How conceited
-you must be!”
-
-“No indeed!” George asseverated. “I would not imagine that you could do
-such a thing. When I told you I would go away, I was only entering into
-the spirit of the thing and carrying on your idea.”
-
-“It was very well done. I cannot help laughing at the serious face you
-made.”
-
-“Nor I, at yours,” said the young man beginning to pull the boat slowly
-about.
-
-Matters had taken a very unexpected turn and he began to feel his
-determination to depart oozing out of his fingers in a way he had not
-expected. His position, indeed, was absurd. He could not argue with
-Mamie the question of whether she had been in earnest or not. Therefore
-he was obliged to accept her statement, that she had been jesting. And
-if he did so, how could he humiliate her by showing that he still
-believed she loved him? In other words, by packing up his traps and
-taking a summary leave. He would only be making a laughing-stock of
-himself in her eyes. Nor was he altogether free from an unforeseen
-sensation of disappointment, very slight, very vague, and very
-embarrassing to his self-esteem. Look at it as he would, his vanity had
-been flattered by her confession, and it had also, in some way, appealed
-to his heart. To be loved by some one, as she had seemed to love, when
-that expression had passed over her face! The idea was pleasant,
-attractive, one on which he would dwell hereafter and which would
-stimulate his comprehension when he was describing scenes of love in his
-books.
-
-“So of course you will stay and behave like a human being,” said Mamie,
-after a short pause, as though she had summed up the evidence,
-deliberated upon it and were giving the verdict.
-
-“I suppose I shall,” George answered in a regretful tone, though he
-could not repress a smile.
-
-“You seem to be sorry,” observed the young girl with a quick, laughing
-glance of her grey eyes. “If there are any other reasons for your sudden
-departure, it is quite another matter. The one you gave has turned out
-badly. You have not proved the necessity for ensuring my salvation by
-taking the next train.”
-
-“I would have gone by the boat,” said George.
-
-“Why?”
-
-“Because the river would have reminded me to the last of this evening.”
-
-“Do you want to be reminded of it as much as that?” asked Mamie.
-
-“Since it turns out to have been such a very pleasant evening, after
-all,” George answered, glad to escape on any terms from the position in
-which his last thoughtless remark had placed him.
-
-Mamie had shown considerable tact in the way by which she had recovered
-herself, and George was unconsciously grateful to her for having saved
-him from the necessity of an abrupt leave-taking, although he could not
-get rid of the idea that she had been more than half in earnest in the
-beginning.
-
-“It was very well done,” he said after they had landed that evening and
-were walking up to the house through the flower garden.
-
-“Yes,” Mamie answered. “I am a very good actress. They always say so in
-the private theatricals.”
-
-The evening colour had gone from the sky and the moon was already in the
-sky, not yet at the full. Mamie stood still in the path and plucked a
-rose.
-
-“I can act beautifully,” she said with a low laugh. “Would you like me
-to give you a little exhibition? Look at me—so—now the moonlight is on
-my face and you can see me.”
-
-She, looked up into his eyes, and once more her features seemed to be
-transfigured. She laid one hand upon his arm and with the other hand
-raised the rose to her lips, kissed it, her eyes still fixed on his,
-then smiled and spoke three words in a low voice that seemed to send a
-thrill through the quiet air.
-
-“I love you.”
-
-Then she made as though she would have fastened the flower in his white
-flannel jacket, and he, believing she would do it, and still looking at
-her, bent a little forward and held the buttonhole ready. All at once,
-she sprang back with a quick, graceful movement and laughed again.
-
-“Was it not well done?” she cried, tossing the rose far away into one of
-the beds.
-
-“Admirably,” George answered. “I never saw anything equal to it. How you
-must have studied!”
-
-“For years,” said the young girl, speaking in her usual tone and
-beginning to walk by his side towards the house.
-
-It was certainly very strange, George thought, that she should be able
-to assume such an expression and such a tone of voice at a moment’s
-notice, if there were no real love in her heart. But it was impossible
-to quarrel with the way she had done it. There had been something so
-supremely graceful in her attitude, something so winning in her smile,
-something in her accent which so touched the heart, that the incident
-remained fixed in his memory as a wonderful picture, never to be
-forgotten. It affected his artistic sense so strongly that before he
-went to bed he took his pen and wrote it down, taking a keen pleasure in
-putting into shape the details of the scene, and especially in
-describing what escaped description, the mysterious fascination of the
-girl herself. He read it over in bed, was satisfied with it, thrust it
-under his pillow, and went to sleep to dream it over again just as it
-had happened, with one important exception. In his dream, the figure,
-the voice, the words, were all Mamie’s, but the face was that of
-Constance Fearing, though it wore a look which he had never seen there.
-In the morning he laughed over the whole affair, being only too ready to
-believe that Mamie had really been laughing at him and that she had only
-been acting the little scene with the rose in the garden.
-
-A few days later an event occurred which again made him doubtful in the
-matter. Since that evening he had felt that he had grown more intimate
-with his cousin than before. There had been no renewal of the dangerous
-play on her part, though both had referred to it more than once. Oddly
-enough it constituted a sort of harmless secret, which had to be kept
-from Mamie’s mother and over which they could be merry only when they
-were alone. Yet, as far as George was concerned, though the bond had
-grown closer in those days, its nature had not changed, nor was he any
-nearer to being persuaded that his cousin was actually in love with him.
-
-At that time, John Bond and his wife, having made a very short trip to
-Canada, returned to New York and came thence to establish themselves in
-the old Fearing house for the rest of the summer. John could not leave
-the business for more than ten days in the absence of his partner, and
-he did as so many other men do, who spend the hot months on the river,
-going to town in the morning and coming back in the evening. On Sundays
-only John Bond did not make his daily trip to New York.
-
-Since his marriage, he and Grace had not been over to see the Trimms,
-though Mrs. Trimm had once been over to them on a week-day in obedience
-to the custom which prescribes that every one must call on a bride.
-There had been much suave coldness between Totty and the Fearings since
-the report of the broken engagement had been circulated, but appearances
-were nevertheless maintained, and Mr. and Mrs. Bond felt that it was
-their duty to return the visit as soon as possible. Constance
-accompanied them and the three sailed across the river late on one
-Sunday afternoon. The river is a great barrier against news, and as
-Totty had kept her house empty of guests, for some reason best known to
-herself, and had written to none of her many intimate friends that
-George Wood was spending the summer with her, the three visitors had no
-expectation of finding him among the party.
-
-During the time which had followed her departure from town, Constance
-Fearing had fallen into a listless habit of mind, from which she had
-found it hard to rouse herself even so far as to help in the
-preparations for her sister’s marriage. When the ceremony was over, she
-had withdrawn again to her country-house in the sole company of the
-elderly female relation who has been mentioned already once or twice in
-the course of this history.
-
-She was extremely unhappy in her own way, and there were moments when
-the pain she had suffered renewed itself suddenly, when she wept bitter
-tears over the sacrifice she had been so determined to make. After one
-of these crises she was usually more listless and indifferent than ever,
-to all outward appearance, though in reality her mind was continually
-preying upon itself, going over the past again and again, living through
-the last moments of happiness she had known, and facing in imagination
-the struggle she had imposed upon herself. She did not grow suddenly
-thin, nor fall ill, nor go mad, as women do who have passed through some
-desperate trial of the heart. She possessed, indeed, the sort of
-constitution which sometimes breaks down under a violent strain from
-without, but she had not been exposed to anything which could bring
-about so fatal a result. It was rather the regret for a lost interest in
-her life than the keen agony of separation from one she had loved, which
-affected her spirits and reacted very slowly upon her health. At certain
-moments the sense of loneliness made itself felt more strongly than at
-others, and she gave way to tears and lamentation, in the privacy of her
-own room, without knowing exactly what she wanted. She still believed
-that she had done right in sending George away, but she missed what he
-had taken with him, the daily incense offered at her shrine, the small
-daily emotions she had felt when with him, and which her sensitive
-temper had liked for their very smallness. There was no doubt that she
-had loved him a little, as she had said, for she had always been ready
-to acknowledge everything she felt. But it was questionable whether her
-love had increased or decreased since she had parted from him, and her
-fits of spasmodic grief were probably not to be attributed to genuine
-love-sickness.
-
-On that particular Sunday afternoon chosen by the Bonds for their visit
-to Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, Constance was as thoroughly indifferent as
-usual to everything that went on. She was willing to join her sister and
-brother-in-law in their expedition rather than stay at home and do
-nothing, but her mind was disturbed by no presentiment of any meeting
-with George Wood.
-
-It was towards evening, and the air was already cool by comparison with
-the heat of the day. Mrs. Trimm, her daughter and George were all three
-seated in a verandah from which they overlooked the river and could see
-their own neat landing-pier beyond the flower-garden. The weather had
-been hot and none of the three were much inclined for conversation.
-Suddenly Totty uttered an exclamation of surprise.
-
-“Those people are coming here! Who are they, George? Can you see?”
-
-George fixed his eyes on the landing and saw that the sail-boat had
-brought to. At the same moment the sails were quickly furled and a man
-threw a rope over one of the wooden pillars. A few seconds elapsed and
-three figures were seen upon the garden-walk.
-
-“I wish you could see who they are, George,” said Totty rather
-impatiently. “It is so awkward—not knowing.”
-
-“I think it is Miss Fearing,” George answered slowly, “with her sister
-and John Bond.”
-
-He was the only one of the three who did not change colour a little as
-the party drew near. Mamie’s marble forehead grew a shade whiter, and
-Totty’s pretty pink face a little more pink. She was annoyed at being
-taken unawares, and was sorry that George was present. As for Mamie, her
-grey eyes sparkled rather coldly, and her large, even lips were tightly
-closed over her beautiful teeth. But George was imperturbable, and it
-would have been impossible to guess from his face what he felt. He
-observed the three curiously as they approached the verandah. He thought
-that Constance looked pale and thin, and he recognised in Grace and her
-husband that peculiar appearance of expensive and untarnished newness
-which characterises newly-married Americans.
-
-“I am so glad you have come over!” Totty exclaimed with laudably
-hospitable insincerity. “It is an age since we have seen any of you!”
-
-Mamie gave Constance her hand and said something civil, though she fixed
-her grey eyes on the other’s blue ones with singular and rather
-disagreeable intensity.
-
-“George has been talking to her about me, I suppose,” thought Miss
-Fearing as she turned and shook hands with George himself.
-
-Grace looked at him quietly and pressed his hand with unmistakable
-cordiality. Her husband shook hands energetically with every one,
-inquired earnestly how each one was doing, and then looked at the river.
-He felt rather uncomfortable, because he knew that every one else did,
-but he made no attempt to help the difficulty by opening the
-conversation. He was not a talkative man. Totty, however, lost no time
-in asking a score of questions, to all of which she knew the answers.
-George found himself seated between Constance and Grace.
-
-“Have you been here long, Mr. Wood?” Constance asked, turning her head
-to George and paying no attention to Totty’s volley of inquiries.
-
-“Since the first of June,” George answered quietly, and then relapsed
-into silence, not knowing what to say. He was not really so calm as he
-appeared to be, and the suddenness of the visit had slightly confused
-his thoughts.
-
-“I supposed that you were in New York,” said Constance, who seemed
-determined to talk to him, and to no one else. “Will you not come over
-and see us?” she asked.
-
-“I shall be very happy,” George replied, without undue coldness, but
-without enthusiasm. “Shall you stay through the summer?”
-
-“Certainly—my sister and John—Mr. Bond—are there, too. You see, it is so
-dreadfully hot in town, and he cannot leave the office, though there is
-nothing in the world to do, I am sure. By the way, what are you doing,
-if one may ask? I hope you are writing something. You know we are all
-looking forward to your next book.”
-
-George could not help glancing sharply at her face, which changed colour
-immediately. But he looked away again as he answered the question.
-
-“The old story,” he said. “A love story. What else should I write about?
-There is only one thing that has a permanent interest for the public,
-and that is love.” He ended the speech with a dry laugh, not good to
-hear.
-
-“Is it?” asked Constance with remarkable self-possession. “I should
-think there must be many other subjects more interesting and far easier
-to write upon.”
-
-“Easier, no doubt. I will not question your judgment upon that point, at
-least. More interesting to certain writers, too, perhaps. Love is so
-much a matter of taste. But more to the liking of the public—no. There I
-must differ from you. The great majority of mankind love, are fully
-aware of it, and enjoy reading about the loves of others.”
-
-Constance was pale and evidently nervous. She had clearly determined to
-talk to George, and he appeared to resent the advance rather than
-otherwise. Yet she would not relinquish the attempt. Even in his worst
-humour she would rather talk with him than with any one else. She tried
-to meet him on his own ground.
-
-“How about friendship?” she asked. “Is not that a subject for a book, as
-well as love?”
-
-“Possibly, with immense labour, one might make a book of some sort about
-friendship. It would be a very dull book to read, and a man would need
-to be very morbid to write it; as for the public it would have to
-undergo a surgical operation to be made to accept it. No. I think that
-friendship would make a very poor subject for a novelist.”
-
-“You do not think very highly of friendship itself, it seems,” said
-Constance with an attempt to laugh.
-
-“I do not know of any reason why I should. I know very little in its
-favour.”
-
-“Opinions differ so much!” exclaimed the young girl, gaining courage
-gradually. “I suppose you and I have not at all the same ideas about
-it.”
-
-“Evidently not.”
-
-“How would you define friendship?”
-
-“I never define things. It is my business to describe people, facts and
-events. Bond is a lawyer and a man of concise definitions. Ask him.”
-
-“I prefer to talk to you,” said Constance, who had by this time overcome
-her sensitive timidity and began to think that she could revive
-something of the old confidence in conversation. Unfortunately for her
-intentions, Mamie had either overheard the last words, or did not like
-the way things were going. She rose and pushed her light straw chair
-before her with her foot until it was opposite the two.
-
-“What do you do with yourself all day long?” she asked as she sat down.
-“I am sure you are giving my cousin the most delightful accounts of your
-existence!”
-
-“As a matter of fact, we were talking of friendship,” said George,
-watching the outlines of Mamie’s exquisite figure and mentally comparing
-them with Constance’s less striking advantages.
-
-“How charming!” Mamie exclaimed sweetly. “And you have always been such
-good friends.”
-
-With a wicked intuition of the mischief she was making, Mamie paused and
-looked from the one to the other. Constance very nearly lost her temper,
-but George’s dark face betrayed no emotion.
-
-“The best of friends,” he said calmly. “What do you think of this
-question, Mamie? Miss Fearing says she thinks that a good book might be
-written about friendship. I answered that I thought it would be far from
-popular with the public. What do you say?”
-
-Constance looked curiously at Mamie, as though she were interested in
-her reply. It seemed as though she must agree with one or the other. But
-Mamie was not easily caught.
-
-“Oh, I am sure you could, George!” she exclaimed. “You are so clever—you
-could do anything. For instance, why do you not describe your
-friendship? You two, you know you would be so nice in a book. And
-besides, everybody would read it and it could not be a failure.” Mamie
-smiled again, as she looked at her two hearers.
-
-“I should think Mr. Wood might do something in a novel with you as well
-as with me,” said Constance.
-
-George was not sure whether Mamie turned a shade whiter or not. She was
-naturally pale, but it seemed to him that her grey eyes grew suddenly
-dark and angry.
-
-“You might put us both into the same book, George,” she suggested.
-
-“Both as friends?” asked Constance, raising her delicate eyebrows a
-little, while her nostrils expanded. She was thoroughly angry by this
-time.
-
-“Why, of course!” Mamie exclaimed with an air of perfect innocence.
-“What could you suppose I meant? I do not suppose he would be rude
-enough to fall in love with either of us in a book. Would you, George?”
-
-“In books,” said George quietly, “all sorts of strange things happen.”
-
-Thereupon he turned and addressed Grace, who was on the other side of
-him, and kept up an animated conversation with her throughout the
-remainder of the visit. It seemed to him to be the only way of breaking
-up an extremely unpleasant situation. Constance was grateful to him for
-what he did, for she felt that if he had chosen to forget his courtesy
-even for an instant he would have found it easy to say many things which
-would have wounded her cruelly and which would not have failed to please
-his cousin. George, on his part, had acquired a clearer view of the real
-state of things.
-
-“How I hate her!” Mamie said to herself, when Constance was gone.
-
-“What a hateful, spiteful little thing she is!” thought Constance as she
-stepped into the boat.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XIX.
-
-
-George was not altogether pleased by what had happened during the visit.
-He had expected that Constance would be satisfied with exchanging a few
-words of no import, and that she would make no attempt to lead him into
-conversation. Instead of this, however, she had seemed to be doing her
-best to make him talk, and had really been the one to begin the trouble
-which had ensued. If she had not allowed herself to refer in the most
-direct manner to the past, she would not have exposed herself to Mamie’s
-subsequent attack. As for Mamie, though she had successfully affected a
-look of perfect innocence, and had spoken in the gentlest and most
-friendly tone of voice, there was no denying the fact that her speeches
-had made a visible impression upon Constance Fearing. The latter had
-done her best to control her anger, but she had not succeeded in hiding
-it altogether. It was impossible not to make a comparison between the
-two girls, and, on the whole, the comparison was in Mamie’s favour, so
-far as self-possession and coolness were concerned.
-
-“You were rather hard on Miss Fearing yesterday,” George said on the
-following morning, when they were alone during the quarter of an hour he
-allowed to elapse between breakfast and going to work.
-
-“Hard on her? What do you mean?” asked Mamie with well-feigned surprise.
-
-“Why—I mean when you suggested that I should put you both into a book
-together. Oh, I know what you are going to say. You meant nothing by it,
-you had not thought of what you were going to say, you would not have
-said anything disagreeable for the world. Nevertheless you said it, and
-in the calmest way, and it did just what you expected of it—it hurt
-her.”
-
-“Well—do you mind?” Mamie inquired, with amazing frankness.
-
-“Yes. You made her think that I had been talking to you about her.”
-
-“And what harm is there in that? You did talk about her a little a few
-days ago—on a certain evening. And, moreover, Master George, though you
-are a great man and a very good sort of man, and a dear, altogether,
-besides possessing the supreme advantage of being my cousin, you cannot
-prevent me from hating your beloved Constance Fearing nor from hurting
-her as much as I possibly can whenever we meet—especially if she sits
-down beside you and makes soft eyes at you, and tries to get you back!”
-
-“Do not talk like that, Mamie. I do not like it.”
-
-Mamie laughed, and showed her beautiful teeth. There was a vicious
-sparkle in her eyes.
-
-“You want to be taken back, I suppose,” she said. “Tell me the truth—do
-you love her still?”
-
-George suddenly caught her by the two wrists and held her before him. He
-was annoyed and yet he could not help being amused.
-
-“Mamie, you shall not say such things! You are as spiteful as a little
-wild-cat!”
-
-“Am I? I am glad of it—and I am not in the least afraid of you, or your
-big hands or your black looks.”
-
-George laughed and dropped her hands with a little shake, half angry,
-half playful.
-
-“I really believe you are not!” he exclaimed.
-
-“Of course not! Was she? Or were you afraid of her? Which was it? Oh,
-how I would have liked to see you together when you were angry with each
-other! She can be very angry, you know. She was yesterday. She would
-have liked to tear me to pieces with those long nails of hers. I hate
-people who have long nails!”
-
-“You seem to hate a great many people this morning. I wish you would
-leave her alone.”
-
-“Oh, now you are going to be angry, too! But then, it would not matter.”
-
-“Why would it not matter?”
-
-“Because I am only Mamie,” answered the girl, looking up affectionately
-into his face. “You never care what I say, do you?”
-
-“I do not know about that,” George said. “What do you mean by saying
-that you are only Mamie?”
-
-“Mamie is nobody, you know. Mamie is only a cousin, a little girl who
-wants nothing of George but toys and picture-books, a silly child, a
-foolish, half-witted little thing that cannot understand a great
-man—much less tease him. Can she?”
-
-“Mamie is a witch,” George answered with a laugh. There was indeed
-something strangely bewitching about the girl. She could say things to
-him which he would not have suffered his own sister to say if he had had
-one.
-
-“I wish I were! I wish I could make wax dolls, like people I hate, as
-the witches used to do, and stick pins into their hearts and melt them
-before the fire, little by little.”
-
-“What has got into your head this morning, you murderous, revengeful
-little thing?”
-
-“There are many things in my head,” she answered, suddenly changing her
-manner, and speaking in an oddly demure tone, with downcast eyes and
-folded hands. “There are more things in my head than are dreamt of in
-yours—at least, I hope so.”
-
-“Tell me some of them.”
-
-“I dare do all that becomes—a proper little girl,” said Mamie, laughing,
-“but not that.”
-
-“Dear me! I had no idea that you were such a desperate character.”
-
-“Tell me, George—if you did what I suggested yesterday and put us both
-into a book, Conny Fearing and me, which would you like best?”
-
-“I would try and make you like each other, though I do not know exactly
-how I should go about it.”
-
-“That is not an answer. It is of no use to be clever with me, as I have
-often told you. Would you like me better than Conny Fearing? Yes—or no!
-Come, I am waiting! How slow you are.”
-
-“Which do you want me to say? I could do either—in a book, so that it
-can make no difference.”
-
-“Oh—if it would make no difference, I do not care to know. You need not
-answer me.”
-
-“All the better for me,” said George with a laugh. “Good-bye—I am going
-to work. Think of some easier question.”
-
-George went away, wondering how it was all going to end. Mamie was
-certainly behaving in a very strange way. Her conduct during the visit
-on the previous afternoon had been that of a woman at once angry and
-jealous, and he himself had felt very uncomfortable. The extreme
-gentleness of her manner and expression while speaking with Constance
-had not concealed her real feelings from him, and he had felt something
-like shame at being obliged to sit quietly in his place while she
-wounded the woman he once loved so dearly, and of whom he still thought
-so often. He had done everything in his power to smooth matters, but he
-had not been able to do much, and his own humour had been already
-ruffled by the conversation that had gone before. He was under the
-impression that Constance had gone away feeling that he had been
-gratuitously disagreeable, and he was sorry for it.
-
-Before very long, he had an opportunity of ascertaining what Constance
-felt and thought about his doings. On the afternoon of the Sunday
-following the one on which she had been to the Trimms’, George had
-crossed to the opposite side of the river, alone, had landed near a
-thick clump of trees and was comfortably established in a shady spot on
-the shore with a book and a cigar. The day was hot and it was about the
-middle of the afternoon. Mamie and her mother had driven to the
-neighbouring church, for Totty was punctual in attending to her
-devotions, whereas George, who had gone with them in the morning,
-considered that he had done enough.
-
-He was not sure to whom the land on which he found himself belonged, and
-he had some misgiving that it might be a part of the Fearing property.
-But he had been too lazy to pull higher up the stream when he had once
-crossed it, and had not cared to drop down the current as that would
-have increased the distance he would have had to row when he went home.
-He fancied that on such a warm day and at such a comparatively early
-hour, none of the Fearings were likely to be abroad, even if he were
-really in their grounds.
-
-Under ordinary circumstances he would have been safe enough. It chanced,
-however, that Constance had been unusually restless all day, and it had
-occurred to her that if she could walk for an hour or more in her own
-company she would feel better. The place where George was sitting was
-actually in her grounds, and she, knowing it to be a pretty spot, where
-there was generally a breeze, had naturally turned towards it. He had
-not been where he was more than a quarter of an hour when she came upon
-him. He heard a light step upon the grass, and looking up, saw a figure
-all in white within five paces of him. He recognised Constance, and
-sprang to his feet, dropping his book and his cigar at the same moment.
-Constance started perceptibly, but did not draw back. George was the
-first to speak.
-
-“I am afraid I am trespassing here,” he said quickly. “If so, pray
-forgive me.”
-
-“You are welcome,” Constance answered, recovering herself. “It is one of
-the prettiest places on the river,” she added a moment later, resting
-her hands upon the long handle of her parasol and looking out at the
-sunny water.
-
-There was nothing to be done but to face an interview. She could hardly
-turn her back on him and walk away without exchanging a few phrases, and
-he, on his part, could not jump into his boat and row for his life as
-though he were afraid of her. Of the two she was the one best pleased by
-the accidental meeting. To George’s surprise she seated herself upon the
-grass, against the root of one of the great old trees.
-
-“Will you not sit down again?” she asked. “I disturbed you. I am so
-sorry.”
-
-“Not at all,” said George, resuming his former attitude.
-
-“Why do you say ‘not at all’ in that way? Of course I disturbed you, and
-I am disturbing you now, out of false politeness, because I am on my own
-ground and feel that you are a guest.”
-
-She was a little confused in trying to be too natural, and George felt
-the false note, and was vaguely sorry for her. She was much less at her
-ease than he, and she showed it.
-
-“I came here out of laziness,” he said. “It was a bore to pull that
-heavy boat any farther up, and I did not care to lose way by going
-farther down. I did not feel sure whether this spot was yours or not.”
-
-Constance said nothing for a moment, but she tapped the toe of her shoe
-rather impatiently with her parasol.
-
-“You would not have landed here if you had thought that there was a
-possibility of meeting me, would you?”
-
-The question was rather an embarrassing one and was put with great
-directness. It seemed to George that the air was full of such questions
-just now. He considered that his answer might entail serious
-consequences and he hesitated several seconds before speaking.
-
-“It seems to me,” he answered at last, “that although I have but little
-reason to seek a meeting with you, I have none whatever for avoiding
-one.”
-
-“I hope not, indeed,” said Constance, in a low voice. “I hope you will
-never try to avoid me.”
-
-“I have never done so.”
-
-“I think you have,” said the young girl, not looking at him. “I think
-you have been unkind in never taking the trouble to come and see us
-during all these months. Why have you never crossed the river?”
-
-“Did you expect that after what has passed between us I should continue
-to make regular visits?” George spoke earnestly, without raising or
-lowering his tone, and waited for an answer. It came with some
-hesitation.
-
-“I thought that—after a time, perhaps, you would come now and then. I
-hoped so. I cannot see why you should not, I am sure. Are we enemies,
-you and I? Are we never to be friends again?”
-
-“Friendship is a relation I do not understand,” George answered. “I
-think I said as much the other day when you mentioned the subject.”
-
-“Yes. Somebody interrupted the conversation. I think,” said Constance,
-blushing a little, “that it was your cousin. I wanted to say several
-things to you then, but it was impossible before all those people. Since
-we have met by accident, will you listen to me? If you would rather not,
-please say so and I will go away. But please do not say anything unkind.
-I cannot bear it and I am very unhappy.”
-
-There was something simple and pathetic in her appeal to his
-forbearance, which moved him a little.
-
-“I will do whatever you wish,” he said, in a tone that reminded her of
-other days. He folded his hands upon one knee and prepared to listen,
-looking out at the broad river.
-
-“Thank you. I have longed for a chance of saying it to you, ever since
-we last met in New York. It has always seemed very easy to say until
-now. Yes. It is about friendship. Last Sunday I was trying to speak of
-it, and you were very unkind. You laughed at me.”
-
-“I am sincerely sorry, if I did. I did not know that you were in
-earnest.”
-
-“I was, and I am, very much in earnest. It is the only thing that can
-make my life worth living.”
-
-“Friendship?” asked George quietly. He meant to keep his word and say
-nothing that could hurt her.
-
-“Your friendship,” she answered. “Because I once made a great mistake,
-is there to be no forgiveness? Is it impossible that we should ever be
-good friends, see each other often and talk together as we did in the
-old days? Are you always to meet me with a stony face and hard, cruel
-words? Was my sin so great as that?”
-
-“You have not committed any sin. You should not use such words.”
-
-“Oh, do not find fault with the way I say it—it is so hard to say it at
-all! Try and understand me.”
-
-“I do understand you, I think, but what you propose does not look
-possible to me. There has been that between us which makes it very hard
-to try such experiments. Do you not think so?”
-
-“It may seem hard, but it is not impossible, if you will only try to
-think more kindly of me. Do you know what my mistake was—where I was
-most wrong? It was in not telling you—what I did—a year sooner. Let us
-be honest. Break through this veil there is between us, if it is only
-for to-day. What is formality to you or me? You loved me once—I could
-not love you. Is that a reason why you should treat me like a stranger
-when we meet, or why I should pick and choose my words with you, as
-though I feared you instead of—of being very fond of you? Think it all
-over, even if it pains you a little. You would have done anything for my
-sake once. If I had told you a year earlier—as I ought to have told
-you—that I could never love you enough to marry you, would you then have
-been so angry and have gone away from me as you did?”
-
-“No. I would not,” said George. “But there was that difference——”
-
-“Wait. Let me finish what I was going to say. It was not what I did, it
-was that I did it far too late. You would not have given up coming to
-see me, if it had all happened a year earlier. My fault lay in putting
-it off too long. It was very wrong. I have been very sorry for it. There
-is nothing I would not do for you—I am just what I always was in my
-feelings towards you—and more. Can I humiliate myself more than I have
-done before you? I do not think there are many women who would have done
-what I have done, what I am doing now. Can I be more humble still? Shall
-I confess it all again?”
-
-“You have done all that a woman could or should,” George said, and there
-was no bitterness in his voice. It seemed to him that the old Constance
-he had loved was slowly entering into the person of the young girl
-before him, whom he had of late treated as a stranger and who had been
-so really and truly one in his sight.
-
-“And yet, will you not forgive?” she asked in a low and supplicating
-tone.
-
-He gazed at the river and did not speak. He was not conscious that she
-was watching his face intently. She saw no bitterness nor hardness
-there, however, but only an expression of perplexity. The word
-forgiveness did not convey to him half what it meant to her. She
-attached a meaning to it, which escaped him. She was morbid and had
-taken an unreal view of all that had happened between them. His mind was
-strong, natural and healthy, and he could not easily understand why she
-should lend such importance to what he now considered a mere phrase, no
-matter how he had regarded it in the heat and anger of his memorable
-interview with her.
-
-“Miss Fearing—” he began. He hardly knew why he called her by name,
-unless it was that he was about to make a categorical statement. So soon
-as the syllables had escaped his lips, however, he repented of having
-pronounced them. He saw a shade of pain pass over her face, and at the
-same time it seemed a childish way of indicating the distance by which
-they were now separated. It reminded him of George the Third’s “Mr.
-Washington.”
-
-“Constance,” he said after another moment’s hesitation, “we do not speak
-in the same language. You ask me for my forgiveness. What am I to
-forgive? If there is anything to be forgiven, I forgive most freely. I
-was very angry, and therefore very foolish on that day when I said I
-would not forgive you. I am not angry now. What I feel is very
-different. I bear you no malice, I wish you no evil.”
-
-Constance was silent and looked away. She did not understand him, though
-she felt that he was not speaking unkindly. What he offered her was not
-what she wanted.
-
-“Since we have come to these explanations,” George continued after a
-pause, “I will try and tell you what it is that I feel. I called you
-Miss Fearing just now. Do you know why? Because it seems more natural.
-You are not the same person you once were, and when I call you
-Constance, I fancy I am calling some one else by the name of your old
-self, of the Constance I loved, and who loved me—a little.”
-
-“It is not I who have changed,” said the young girl, looking down. “I am
-Constance still, and you are my best and dearest friend, though you be
-ever so unkind.”
-
-“A change there is, and a great one. I daresay it is in me. I was never
-your friend, as you understand the word, and you were mistaken in
-thinking that I was. I loved you. That is not friendship.”
-
-“And now, since I am another person—not the one you loved—can you not be
-my friend as well as—as you are of others? Why does it seem so
-impossible?”
-
-“It is too painful to be thought of,” said George in a low voice. “You
-are too like the other, and yet too different.”
-
-Constance sighed and twisted a blade of grass round her slender white
-finger. She wished she knew how to do away with the difference he felt
-so keenly.
-
-“Do you never miss me?” she asked after a long silence.
-
-“I miss the woman I loved,” George answered. “Is it any satisfaction to
-you to know it?”
-
-“Yes, for I am she.”
-
-There was another pause, during which George glanced at her face from
-time to time. It had changed, he thought. It was thinner and whiter than
-of old and there were shadows beneath the eyes and modellings—not yet
-lines—of sadness about the sensitive mouth. He wondered whether she had
-suffered, and why. She had never loved him. Could it be true that she
-missed his companionship, his conversation, his friendship, as she
-called it? If not, why should her face be altered? And yet it was
-strange, too. He could not understand how separation could be painful
-where there was no love. Nevertheless he was sorry that she should have
-suffered, now that his anger was gone.
-
-“I am glad you loved me,” she said at last.
-
-“And I am very sorry.”
-
-“You should not say that. If you had not loved me—more than I knew—you
-would not have written, you would not be what you are. Can you not think
-of it in that way, sometimes?”
-
-“What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own
-soul?” said George bitterly.
-
-“You have not lost your soul,” answered Constance, whose religious
-sensibilities were a little shocked, at once by the strength of the
-words as by the fact of their being quoted from the Bible. “You have no
-right to say that. You will some day find a woman who will love you as
-you deserve——”
-
-“And whom I shall not love.”
-
-“Whom you will love as well as you once loved me. You will be happy,
-then. I hope it may happen soon.”
-
-“Do you?” asked George, turning upon her quickly.
-
-“For your sake I hope so, with all my heart.”
-
-“And for yours?”
-
-“I hope I should like her very much,” said Constance with a forced
-laugh, and looking away from him.
-
-“I am afraid you will not,” George answered, almost unconsciously. The
-words fell from his lips as a reply to her strained laughter which told
-too plainly her real thoughts.
-
-“You should not ask such questions,” she said, a moment later. “Do you
-find it hard to talk to me?” she asked, suddenly turning the
-conversation.
-
-“I think it would be hard for you and me to talk about these things for
-long.”
-
-“We need not—if we meet. It is better that we should have said what we
-had to say, and we need never say it again. And we shall meet more
-often, now, shall we not?”
-
-“Does it give you pleasure to see me?” There was a touch of hardness in
-the tone.
-
-Constance looked down and the colour came into her thin face. Her voice
-trembled a little when she spoke.
-
-“Are you going to be unkind to me again? Or do you really wish to know?”
-
-“I am in earnest. Does it give you pleasure to see me?”
-
-“After all I have said—oh, George, this has been the happiest hour I
-have spent since the first of May.”
-
-“Are you heartless or are you not?” asked George almost fiercely. “Do
-you love me that you should care to see me? Or does it amuse you to give
-me pain? What are you, yourself, the real woman that I can never
-understand?”
-
-Constance was frightened by the sudden outbreak of passion, and turned
-pale.
-
-“What are you saying? What do you mean?” she asked in an uncertain
-voice.
-
-“What I say? What I mean? Do you think it is pleasure to me to talk as
-we have been talking? Do you suppose that my love for you was a mere
-name, an idea, a thing without reality, to be discussed and dissected
-and examined and turned inside out? Do you fancy that in three months I
-have forgotten, or ceased to care, or learned to talk of you as though
-you were a person in a book? What do you think I am made of?”
-
-Constance hid her face in her hands and a long silence followed. She was
-not crying, but she looked as though she were trying to collect her
-thoughts, and at the same time to shut out some disagreeable sight. At
-last she looked up and saw that his lean, dark face was full of sadness.
-She knew him well and knew how much he must feel before his features
-betrayed what was passing in his mind.
-
-“Forgive me, George,” she said in a beseeching tone. “I did not know
-that you loved—that you cared for me still.”
-
-“It is nothing,” he answered bitterly. “It will pass.”
-
-Poor Constance felt that she had lost in a moment what she had gained
-with so much difficulty, the renewal of something like unconstrained
-intercourse. She rose slowly from the place where she had been sitting,
-two or three paces away from him. He did not rise, for he was still too
-much under the influence of the emotion to heed what she did. She came
-and stood before him and looked down into his face.
-
-“George,” she said slowly and earnestly, “I am a very unhappy woman—more
-unhappy than you can guess. You are dearer to me than anything on earth,
-and yet I am always hurting you and wounding you. This life is killing
-me. Tell me what you would have me do and say, and I will do it and say
-it—anything—do you understand—anything rather than be parted from you as
-I have been during these last months.”
-
-She meant every word she said, and in that moment, if George had asked
-her to be his wife she would have consented gladly. But he did not
-understand that she meant as much as that. He seemed to hesitate a
-moment and then rose quickly to his feet and stood beside her.
-
-“You must not talk like that,” he said. “I owe you much, Constance, very
-much, though you have made me very unhappy. I do not understand you. I
-do not know why you should care to see me. But I will come to you as
-often as you please if only you will not talk to me about what is past.
-Let us try and speak of ordinary things, of everyday matters. I am
-ashamed to seem to be making conditions, and I do not know what it all
-means, because, as I have said, I cannot understand you, and I never
-shall. Will you have me on those terms?”
-
-He held out his hand as he spoke the last words, and there was a kindly
-smile on his face.
-
-“Come when you will and as you will—only come!” said Constance, her face
-lighting up with gladness. She, at least, was satisfied, and saw a
-prospect of happiness in the future. “Come here sometimes, in the
-afternoon, it will be like——”
-
-She was going to say that it would be like the old time when they used
-to meet in the Park.
-
-“It will be like a sort of picnic, you know,” were the words that fell
-from her lips. But the blush on her face told plainly enough that she
-had meant to say something else.
-
-“Yes,” said George with a grim smile, “it will be like a sort of picnic.
-Good-bye.”
-
-“Good-bye—when will you come?” Constance could not help letting her hand
-linger in his as long as he would hold it.
-
-“Next Sunday,” George answered quickly. He reflected that it would not
-be easy to escape Mamie on any other day.
-
-A moment later he was in his boat, pulling away into the midstream.
-Constance stood on the shore watching him and wishing with all her heart
-that she were sitting in the stern of the neat craft, wishing more than
-all that he might desire her presence there. But he did not. He knew
-very well that he could have stayed another hour or two in her company
-if he had chosen to do so, but he had been glad to escape, and he knew
-it. The meeting had been painful to him in many ways, and it had made
-him dissatisfied and disappointed with himself. It had shown him what he
-had not known, that he loved the old Constance as dearly as ever, though
-he could not always recognise her in the strange girl who did not love
-him but who assured him that her separation from him was killing her. He
-had hoped and almost believed that he should never again feel an emotion
-in her presence, and yet he had felt many during that afternoon. Nor did
-he anticipate with any pleasure a renewal of the situation on the
-following Sunday, though he was quite sure that he had no means of
-avoiding it. If he had thought that Constance was merely making a
-heartless attempt to renew the old relations, he would have given her a
-sharp and decisive refusal. But she was undoubtedly in earnest and she
-was evidently suffering. She had gone to the length of reminding him
-that he owed the beginning of his literary career to her influence. It
-was true, and he would not be ungrateful. Courtesy and honour alike
-forbade ingratitude, and he only hoped that he might become accustomed
-to the pain of such meetings.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XX.
-
-
-When George met Mamie on that evening, he hoped that she would ask no
-questions as to the way in which he had employed his afternoon, for he
-knew that if she discovered that he had been with Constance Fearing she
-would in all probability make some disagreeable observations about the
-latter, of a kind which he did not wish to hear. Without having defined
-the situation in his own mind, he felt that Mamie was jealous of
-Constance and would show it on every occasion. As a general rule she
-followed her mother’s advice and asked him no questions when he had been
-out alone. But this evening her curiosity was aroused by an almost
-imperceptible change in his manner. His face was a shade darker, his
-voice a shade more grave than usual. After dinner, Totty stayed in the
-drawing-room to write letters and left the two together upon the
-verandah. It was very dark and they sat near each other in low straw
-chairs.
-
-“What have you been doing with yourself?” Mamie asked, almost as soon as
-they were alone.
-
-“Something that will surprise you,” George answered. “I have been with
-Miss Fearing.”
-
-He had no intention of concealing the fact, for he saw that such a
-course would be foolish in the extreme. He meant to go and see Constance
-again, as he had promised her, and he saw that it would be folly to give
-a clandestine appearance to their meetings.
-
-“Oh!” exclaimed Mamie, “that accounts for it all!” He could not see her
-face distinctly, but her tone told him that she was smiling to herself.
-
-“Accounts for what?” he asked.
-
-“For a great many things. For your black looks and your gloomy view of
-the dinner, and your general unsociability.”
-
-“I do not feel in the least gloomy or unsociable,” George said drily.
-“You have too much imagination.”
-
-“Why did you go to see her?”
-
-“I did not. I landed on their place without knowing it, and when I had
-been there a quarter of an hour, Miss Fearing suddenly appeared upon the
-scene. Is there anything else you would like to know?”
-
-“Now you are angry!” Mamie exclaimed. “Of course. I knew you would be.
-That shows that your conversation with Conny was either very pleasant or
-very disagreeable. I am not naturally curious, but I would like to know
-what you talked about!”
-
-“Would you?” George laughed a little roughly. “We did not talk of
-you—why should you want to know?”
-
-“Oh, that mine enemy would write a book!” Mamie exclaimed, “and put into
-it an accurate report of your conversations, and send it to me to be
-criticised.”
-
-“Why are you so vicious? Let Miss Fearing alone, if you do not like her.
-She has done you no harm, and there is no reason why you should call her
-your enemy, and quote the Bible against her.”
-
-“I hate to hear you call her Miss Fearing. I know you call her Constance
-when you are alone with her.”
-
-“Mamie, you are a privileged person, but you sometimes go too far. It is
-of no consequence what I call her. Let us drop the subject and talk of
-something else, unless you will speak of her reasonably and quietly.”
-
-“Do you expect me to go with you when you make your next visit?”
-
-“I shall be very glad if you will, provided that you will behave
-yourself like a sensible creature.”
-
-“As I did the other day, when she was here? Is that the way?” Mamie
-laughed.
-
-“No. You behaved abominably——”
-
-“And she has been complaining to you, and that is the reason why you are
-lecturing me, and making the night hideous with your highly moral and
-excellent advice. Give it up, George. It is of no use. I am bad by
-nature.”
-
-George was silent for a few minutes. It was clear that if he meant to
-see Constance from time to time in future matters must be established
-upon a permanent basis of some sort.
-
-“Mamie,” he said at last, “let us be serious. Are you really as fond of
-me as you seem to be? Will you do something, not to please me, but to
-help me?”
-
-“Provided it is easy and I like to do it!” Mamie laughed. “Of course I
-will, George,” she added a moment later in a serious tone.
-
-“Very well. It is this. Forget, or pretend to forget, that there is such
-a person as Miss Fearing in the world. Or else go and see her and be as
-good and charming as you know how to be.”
-
-“You give me my choice? I may do either?”
-
-“It will help me if you will do either. I cannot hear her spoken of
-unkindly, and I cannot see her treated as you treated her the other day,
-without the shadow of a cause.”
-
-“I think there is cause enough, considering how she treated you. Oh,
-yes, I know what you will say—that there never was any engagement, and
-all the rest of it. It is very honourable of you, and I admire you men
-much for putting it in that way. But we all knew, and it is of no use to
-deny it, you know.”
-
-“You do not believe me? I give you my word of honour that there was no
-engagement. Do you understand? I made a fool of myself, and when I came
-to put the question I was disappointed. She was as free to refuse me as
-you are now, if I asked you to marry me. Is that clear?”
-
-“Perfectly,” said Mamie in a rather unnatural tone. “Since you give me
-your word, it is a different thing. I have been mistaken. I am very
-sorry.”
-
-“And will you do what I ask?”
-
-“If you give me my choice, I will go and see her to-morrow. I will do it
-to please you—though I do not understand how it can help you.”
-
-“It will, nevertheless, and I shall be grateful to you.”
-
-The result of this conversation was that Mamie actually crossed the
-river on the following day and spent an hour with Constance Fearing to
-the great surprise of the latter, especially when she saw that her
-visitor was determined to be agreeable, as though to efface the
-impression she had made a few days earlier. Mamie was very careful to
-say nothing in the least pointed, nor anything which could be construed
-as an allusion to George.
-
-Totty saw and wondered, but said nothing. She supposed that Mamie had
-made the visit because George had asked her to, and she was well
-satisfied that George should take the position of asking Mamie to do
-anything for him. That sort of thing, she said to herself, helps on a
-flirtation wonderfully.
-
-As for George he did not look forward to his next meeting with Constance
-with any kind of pleasure. It was distinctly disagreeable, and he wished
-that something might happen to prevent it. He did not know whether
-Constance would tell Grace of his coming, but it struck him that he
-would not like to be surprised by Grace when he was sitting under the
-trees with her sister. Grace would assuredly not understand why he was
-there, and he would be placed in a very false position.
-
-So far, he was right. Constance had not mentioned her meeting with
-George to any one, and had no intention of doing so. She, like George,
-said to herself that Grace would not understand, and it seemed wisest
-not to give her understanding a chance. Of late George had been rarely
-mentioned, and there was a tendency to coldness between the sisters if
-his name was spoken, even accidentally. Constance had at first been
-grateful for the other’s readiness to help her on the memorable first of
-May, but as time went on, she began to feel that Grace was in some way
-responsible for her unhappiness and she resented any allusion to the
-past. Fortunately, Grace was very much occupied with her own existence
-at that time and was little inclined to find fault with other people’s
-views of life. She had married the man she loved, and who loved her, for
-whom she had waited long, and of whom she was immensely proud. He was
-exactly suited to her taste and represented her ideal of man in every
-way. She would rather talk of him than of George Wood, and she preferred
-his company to her sister’s when he was at home. They were a couple
-whose happiness would have become proverbial if it had been allowed to
-continue; one of those couples who are not interesting but to watch whom
-is a satisfaction, and whom it is always pleasant to meet. There was
-just the right difference of age between them, there was just the right
-difference in height, the proper contrast in complexion, both had much
-the same tastes, both were very much in earnest, very sensible, and very
-faithful. It was to be foreseen that in the course of years they would
-grow more and more alike, and perhaps more and more prejudiced in favour
-of their own way of looking at things, that they would have sensible,
-good-looking children, who would do all those things which they ought to
-do and rejoice their parents’ hearts, in short that they would lead a
-peaceful and harmonious life and be in every way an honour to their
-principles and a model to all young couples yet unmarried. They were
-people to whom nothing unusual would ever happen, people who, if they
-had had the opportunity to invent gunpowder, would have held a
-matrimonial consultation upon the matter and would have decided that
-explosives should be avoided with care, and had better not be invented
-at all. Since their marriage they had both been less in sympathy with
-Constance than before, and the latter was beginning to suspect that it
-would not be wise for them to live together when they returned to town.
-She was in some doubt, however, about making any definite arrangements.
-The elderly female relation who had been a companion and a chaperon to
-the two young girls, was on her hands, and had begun to show signs of
-turning into an invalid. It was impossible to turn her adrift, though
-she was manifestly in the way at present, and yet if Constance decided
-to live by herself, the good lady was not the sort of person she needed.
-She gave a good deal of thought to the matter, and turned it over in
-every way, little suspecting that an event was about to occur which
-would render all such arrangements futile.
-
-On the Sunday afternoon agreed upon, George got into the boat alone and
-pulled away into the stream without offering any explanation of his
-departure to Mrs. Trimm or to Mamie. He took it for granted that they
-intended to go to church as usual and that he would not be missed.
-Moreover, he owed no account of his doings to any one, as he said to
-himself, and would assuredly give none. He started at an early hour, but
-was surprised to see that Constance was at the place of meeting before
-him. As he glanced over his shoulder to see that he was rowing for the
-right point, he caught sight of her white serge dress beneath the trees.
-
-“I have been watching you ever since you started,” she said, holding out
-her hand to him. “Why do you always row instead of sailing? There is a
-good breeze, too.”
-
-“There are two reasons,” he answered. “In the first place, the Trimms
-have no sail-boat, and secondly, if they had, I should not know how to
-manage it.”
-
-“My brother-in-law and Grace are out. Do you see their boat off there?
-Just under the bluff. They said they would probably go to your cousin’s
-a little later. And now sit down. Do you know? I was afraid you would
-not come, until I saw your boat.”
-
-“What made you think that? Did I not promise that I would come?”
-
-“Yes—I know. But I was afraid something would happen to prevent you—and
-then, when one looks forward to something for a whole week, it so often
-does not happen.”
-
-“That is true. But then, presentiments are always wrong. What have you
-been doing with yourself all the week?” George asked, feeling that since
-he had come so far, it was incumbent upon him to try and make
-conversation.
-
-“Not much. I had one surprise—your cousin Mamie came over on Tuesday and
-made a long visit. I had not expected her, I confess, but she was in
-very good spirits and talked charmingly.”
-
-“She is a very nice girl,” said George indifferently.
-
-“Of course—I know. But when we were all over there the other day I
-thought—” she stopped suddenly and looked at George. “Is it forbidden
-ground?” she asked, with a slight change of colour.
-
-“What? Mamie? No. Why should we not talk about her?”
-
-“Well—I fancied she did not like me. She said one or two things that I
-thought were meant to hurt me. They did, too. I suppose I am very
-sensitive. After all, she looked perfectly innocent, and probably meant
-nothing by it.”
-
-“She often says foolish things which she does not mean,” said George
-reflectively. “But she is a very good girl, all the same. You say she
-was agreeable the other day—what did you talk about?”
-
-“She raved about you,” said Constance. “She is a great admirer of yours.
-Did you know it?”
-
-“I know she likes me,” George answered coolly. “Her mother is a very old
-friend of mine and has been very kind to me. She saw that I was worn out
-with work, and insisted upon my spending the summer with them, as Sherry
-Trimm is abroad and they had no man in the house. So Mamie came over
-here to sing my praises, did she?”
-
-“Yes, and she sang them very well. She is so enthusiastic—it is a
-pleasure to listen to her.”
-
-“I should think you would find that sort of thing rather fatiguing,”
-said George with a smile.
-
-“Strange to say I did not. I could bear a great deal of it without being
-in the least tired. But, as I told you, I was surprised by her visit. Do
-you know what I thought? I thought that you had made her come and be
-nice, because you had seen that I had been annoyed when we were over
-there. It would have been so like you.”
-
-“Would it? If I had done what you suppose, I would not tell you and I am
-very glad she came. I wish you knew each other better, and liked each
-other.”
-
-“We can, if you would be glad,” said Constance. “I could go over there
-and ask her here, and see a great deal of her, and I could make her like
-me. I will if you wish it.”
-
-“Why should I put you to so much trouble, for a matter of so little
-importance?”
-
-“It would be a pleasure to do anything for you,” answered the young girl
-simply. “I wish I might.”
-
-George looked at her gravely and saw that she was very much in earnest.
-The readiness with which she offered to put herself to any amount of
-inconvenience at the slightest hint from him, proved she was looking out
-for some occasion of proving her friendship.
-
-“You are very kind, Constance,” he said gently. “I thank you very much.”
-
-A silence followed, broken only by the singing of the wind in the old
-trees. The sky was overcast and there were light squalls on the water.
-Presently George began to talk again and an hour passed quickly away,
-far more quickly and pleasantly than he had believed possible. They had
-many thoughts and ideas in common, and the first constraint being
-removed it was impossible that they should be long together without
-talking freely.
-
-“Why not kill him?” said Constance in a critical tone. “It would solve
-many difficulties, and after all you do not want him any more.”
-
-They were talking of the book he was now writing. Insensibly they had
-approached the subject, and being once near it, George had not resisted
-the temptation to tell her the story.
-
-“It would be so easy,” she continued. “Take him out in a boat and upset
-him, you know. They say drowning is a pleasant death. A boat like my
-brother-in-law’s—there it is. Do you see?”
-
-Grace and her husband had been across to see Totty and were returning.
-The breeze was uncertain, and from time to time the boat lay over in a
-way that looked dangerous.
-
-“Murder and sudden death!” said George with a light laugh. “Do you not
-think it would be more artistic to let him live? When I was a starving
-critic, that was one of my favourite attacks. At this point the author,
-for reasons doubtless known to himself, unexpectedly drowns his hero,
-and what might have proved a very fair story is brought to an abrupt
-close. You know the style. I used to do it very well. Do you not think
-they will say that?”
-
-“What does it matter? Besides, it is only a suggestion, and this
-particular man is not the hero. I never liked him from the beginning,
-and I should be glad if he were brought to an awful end!”
-
-“How heartless! But he is not so bad as you think. I never could tell a
-story well in this way, and you have not read the book. By Jove! I
-believe they have brought over Mamie and her mother. There are a lot of
-people in the boat.”
-
-He was watching the little craft rather anxiously. It struck him that he
-would rather not be found sitting under the trees with Constance, by
-that particular party of people.
-
-“You do not think they will come here, do you?” he asked, turning to his
-companion. It seemed almost as natural as formerly that they should
-agree in not wishing to be interrupted by Grace, nor by any one else.
-
-“Oh no!” Constance answered. “They will not come here. The buoy is
-anchored opposite the landing, much farther down, and John could not
-moor her to the shore. It is odd, though, that he should be running so
-free. He is losing way by coming towards us.”
-
-“I am sure they have seen us and mean to land here,” said George in a
-tone that betrayed his annoyance.
-
-Both watched the little boat in silence for some minutes.
-
-“You are right,” Constance said at last. “They are coming here. It is of
-no use to run away,” she added, quite naturally. “They must have seen my
-white frock long ago. Yes, here they are.”
-
-By this time the boat was less than twenty yards from the shore and
-within speaking distance. She was a small, light craft, half-decked, and
-rigged as a cutter. John Bond was steering and the three ladies were
-seated in the middle. John let her head come to the wind and sang out—
-
-“Wood! I say!”
-
-“Hullo!” George answered, springing to his feet and advancing to the
-edge of the land.
-
-“Can you take the ladies ashore in your boat?”
-
-“All right!” George sprang into the light wherry, taking the painter
-with him, and pulled alongside of the party. In a moment the three
-ladies were over the side and crowded together in the stern.
-
-“You will meet us at the house, dear, won’t you?” said Grace to her
-husband just as George was turning his boat to row back.
-
-“Yes, as soon as I can take her to her moorings,” answered John, who was
-holding the helm up with one hand and loosening the sheet with the
-other.
-
-As George rowed towards the land he faced the river and saw what
-happened. The three ladies were all looking in the opposite direction.
-The little cutter’s head went round, slowly at first, and then more
-quickly as the wind filled the sail. At that moment a sharp squall swept
-over the water. George could see that John was trying to let the sheet
-go, but the rope was jammed and the sail remained close hauled, as it
-had been when he made the boat lie to. She had little ballast in her,
-and the weight of the ladies being out of her, left her far too light.
-George was not a practical sailor, and he turned pale as he saw the
-cutter lie over upon her side, though he supposed it might not be as
-dangerous as it looked. A moment later he stopped rowing. The little
-vessel had capsized and was floating bottom upwards. John Bond was
-nowhere to be seen.
-
-“Can your husband swim?” he asked quickly of Grace. She started
-violently as she saw the look on his face, turned, caught sight of the
-sail-boat’s keel and then screamed.
-
-“Save him! Save him!” she cried in agony.
-
-“Take the sculls, Mamie!” cried George as he sprang over the side into
-the river. He had not even thrown off his shoes or his flannel jacket.
-
-George had calculated that he could reach the place where the accident
-had occurred much sooner by swimming than in the boat, which was long
-and narrow and needed some time to turn, and which moreover was moving
-in the opposite direction. He was a first-rate swimmer and diver and
-trusted to his strength to overcome the disadvantage he was under in
-being dressed. In a few seconds he had reached the cutter. John Bond was
-nowhere to be seen. Without hesitation he drew a long breath and dived
-under the boat. The unfortunate man had become entangled in the ropes
-and was under the vessel, struggling desperately to free himself. George
-laid hold of him just as he was making his last convulsive effort. But
-it was too late. The wet sail and the slack of the sheet had somehow
-fastened themselves about him. He grasped the arm with which George
-tried to help him, and his grip was like a steel vice, for John Bond was
-a very strong man and he was in his death agony. George now struggled
-for his own life, trying to free himself from the death clasp that held
-him, making desperate efforts to get his head under the side of the boat
-in order to breathe the air. But he could not loosen the dead man’s iron
-hold. The effort to hold his breath could go no further, he opened his
-mouth, and made as though he were breathing, taking the cool fresh water
-into his lungs, while still exerting his utmost strength to get free.
-Then a delicious dreamy sleep seemed to come over him and he lost
-consciousness.
-
-Mamie Trimm showed admirable self-possession. She brought her mother and
-Grace ashore in spite of their cries and entreaties, for she knew that
-they could do nothing, and she herself did not believe at first that
-anything serious had happened, and told them so as calmly as she could.
-She knew that George was an admirable swimmer and she had no fear for
-him, though as she reached the land she saw him dive under the capsized
-boat. He would reappear in thirty seconds at the most, and would
-probably bring John Bond up with him. She had great difficulty in making
-Grace go ashore, however, and without her mother’s assistance she would
-have found it altogether impossible. The four women stood near together
-straining their sight, when nothing was to be seen. The struggles of the
-two men moved the light hull of the cutter during several seconds and
-then all was quiet.
-
-With parted lips and blanched cheeks Constance Fearing stared at the
-water, leaning against the tree that was nearest to the edge. Grace
-would have fallen to the ground if Mrs. Trimm had not held her arms
-about her. Mamie stood motionless and white, expecting every moment to
-see George’s dark head rise to the surface, believing that he could not
-be drowned.
-
-At that moment a third boat, rowed by four strong pairs of arms shot
-past the wooded point at a tremendous speed, the water flying to right
-and left of the sharp prow, and churning in the wake, while the hard
-breathing of the desperate rowers could be heard.
-
-“Jump on her keel, fellows!” roared a lusty voice. “There are four of us
-and we can right her. They’re both under the stern!”
-
-In an instant, as it seemed, the little cutter was lying on her side,
-and the four women could see the bodies of John Bond and George Wood
-clasped together and entangled in the sail, but partly drawn out of
-water by the lifting of the boat’s side. Quicker than thought Mamie was
-in the wherry again and out on the water. The cutter had drifted in
-shore with the current during the two or three minutes in which all had
-happened. The girl saw that the rescuers needed help and was with them
-in an instant. What she did she never remembered afterwards, but for
-many days the strain upon her strength left her bruised and aching from
-head to foot. In less than a minute the bodies of the two men were in
-her boat and two of the newcomers were pulling her ashore. The others
-caught their own craft again and swam to land, pushing it before them.
-
-With a cry that seemed to break her heart Grace fell upon her husband’s
-corpse. He was dead, and she knew it, though two of the men did
-everything in their power to restore him. They were all gentlemen who
-lived by the river, and knew what to do in such cases.
-
-On the other side the two young girls knelt beside the body of George
-Wood, both their faces as white as his, both silent, both helping to
-their utmost in the attempt to bring him to life. The men were prompt
-and determined in their action. One of them was a physician. For many
-minutes they moved George’s arms up and down with a regular, cadenced
-motion, so as to expand and contract the lungs and produce an artificial
-breathing.
-
-“I am afraid it is all up,” said one in a low voice to his companion.
-
-“Not yet,” answered the other, who was the doctor. “I believe he is
-alive.”
-
-He was right. A minute later George’s eyelids trembled.
-
-“He is alive,” said Constance in a strange, happy voice.
-
-Mamie said nothing, but her great grey eyes opened wide with joy. Then
-all at once, with a smothered cry she threw herself upon him and kissed
-his dark face passionately, heedless of the two strangers as she was of
-the girl who was kneeling opposite to her.
-
-Constance seized her by the arm and pushed her away from George with a
-strength no one would have suspected her of possessing.
-
-“What is he to you, that you should do that?” she asked in a tone
-trembling with passion.
-
-Mamie’s eyes flashed angrily as she shook herself free and raised her
-head.
-
-“I love him,” she said proudly. “What are you to him that you should
-come between us?”
-
-George opened his eyes slowly.
-
-“Constance!” He could hardly articulate the name, and a violent fit of
-coughing succeeded the effort.
-
-The two girls looked into each other’s eyes. Both had heard the
-syllables, and both knew what they meant. In Constance’s face there was
-pride, triumph, supreme happiness. In Mamie’s closely-set lips and
-flashing eyes there was implacable hatred. She rose to her feet and drew
-back, slowly, while Constance remained kneeling on the ground. One
-moment more she remained where she was, gazing at her retreating rival.
-Then, with one more glance at George’s reviving eyes, she sprang up and
-went to her sister’s side.
-
-Grace’s grief was uncontrollable and terrible to see. During the night
-that followed it was impossible to make her leave her husband’s body.
-She was far too strong to break down or to go mad, and she suffered
-everything that a human being can suffer without a moment’s respite.
-
-Constance never left her, though she could do nothing to soothe her
-fearful sorrow. Words were of no use, for Grace could not hear them.
-There was nothing to be done, but to wait and pray that she might become
-exhausted by the protracted agony.
-
-It was late in the evening when the four gentlemen who had saved
-George’s life brought him home with Mamie and her mother. There had been
-much to be thought of before he could think of returning. They had
-carried him to Constance’s house at first, for he had been unable to
-walk, and they had given him some of the dead man’s clothes in place of
-his own dripping garments, had chafed him and warmed him and poured
-stimulants down his throat. The doctor in the party had strongly urged
-him to spend the night where he was. But nothing could induce him to do
-that. As soon as he was strong enough to walk he insisted on recrossing
-the river.
-
-Even Totty was terribly shocked and depressed by what had happened. She
-was not without heart and the tears came into her eyes when she thought
-of Grace’s cruel bereavement.
-
-“Oh, George,” she said before they retired for the night, “you don’t
-think anything more could have been done, do you? It was quite
-impossible to save him, was it not?”
-
-A faint smile passed over the tired face of the man who had to all
-intents and purposes sacrificed his own life in the attempt to save John
-Bond, who had been as dead as he so far as his own sensations were
-concerned.
-
-“I did what I could,” he answered simply.
-
-Mamie looked keenly into his eyes, as she bade him good-night. Her
-mother was already at the door.
-
-“You love Constance Fearing still,” she said in a tone that could not
-reach Totty’s ears.
-
-“I hope not,” George answered with sudden coldness.
-
-“When you opened your eyes, you said ‘Constance’ quite distinctly. We
-both heard it.”
-
-“Did I? That was very foolish. The next time I am drowned in the
-presence of ladies I will try and be more careful.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXI.
-
-
-The sudden death of John Bond caused an interruption in the lives of
-most of the people concerned in this history. George Wood had received
-one of those violent mental impressions from which men do not recover
-for many weeks. It was long before he could rid his dreams of the
-ever-repeated scene. When he closed his eyes the white sail of the
-little cutter rose before them, the sharp and sudden squall struck the
-canvas, and almost at the same instant he felt himself once more in the
-cool depths, struggling with a man already almost dead, striving with
-agonised determination to hold his breath, then abandoning the effort
-and losing consciousness, only to awake with a violent start and a
-short, smothered cry.
-
-Even Totty, who was not naturally nervous, was haunted by terrible
-visions in the night and was a little pale and subdued during a
-fortnight after the accident. Mamie wore a strange expression, which
-neither George nor her mother could understand. Her lips were often
-tightly set together as though in some desperate effort, in which her
-eyelids drooped and her fingers grasped convulsively whatever they held.
-She was living over again that awful moment when she had clutched what
-she had believed to be the dead body of the man she loved, and almost
-unaided, she knew not how, had dragged it into the boat. There was
-another instant, too, which recalled itself vividly to her memory, the
-one in which the reviving man had pronounced Constance’s name, and
-Constance had shown her triumph in her eyes.
-
-As often happens in such cases, both George and Mamie had been less
-exhausted on the evening of the fatal day than they had been for several
-days afterwards. It was long before Mamie made any reference again to
-the first word he had spoken with returning consciousness. She often,
-indeed, stood gazing across the river, towards the scene of the tragedy
-and beyond the tall trees in the direction of the house that was hidden
-behind them, and George knew what was in her thoughts better than he
-could tell what was in his own. He had learned soon enough that he owed
-a large share of gratitude for the preservation of his life to Mamie
-herself. The young doctor who had done so much, had been to see him more
-than once and had repeated to him that if he had been left, even with
-his head above water, but without the immediate assistance necessary in
-such cases, during two or three minutes more, he would in all likelihood
-never have breathed again. The presence of a boat on the spot, and above
-all Mamie’s exhibition of an almost supernatural strength in getting
-George into the wherry, had really saved his life. Without her, the four
-men who had acted so promptly would have been helpless. Their own craft
-was adrift and empty, and they had been unable to right the cutter so as
-to make use of her, light as she was. The doctor did not fail to say the
-same thing to Mamie, complimenting her on her presence of mind and
-extraordinary energy in a way that brought the colour to her pale
-cheeks. George felt that a new tie bound him to his cousin.
-
-It was indeed impossible that where there was already so much genuine
-affection on the one side and so much devoted love on the other, such an
-accident should not increase both in a like proportion. Whether it were
-really true that Mamie had been the immediate means of saving George or
-not, the testimony was universally in favour of that opinion, and the
-girl herself was persuaded that without her help he would have perished.
-She had saved him at the moment of death, and she loved him ten times
-more passionately than before. As for him, he doubted his own power to
-reason in the matter. He had been fond of her before; he was devotedly
-attached to her now. His whole nature was full of gratitude and trust
-where she was concerned, and his relations with Constance Fearing began
-to take the appearance of an infidelity to Mamie. If he asked himself
-whether he felt or could ever feel for his cousin what he had felt so
-strongly for Constance, the answer was plain enough. It was impossible.
-But if he put the matter differently he found a different response in
-his heart. If, thought he, the two young girls were drowning before his
-eyes, as John Bond and he had been drowning before theirs, and if it
-were only possible to save one, which should it be? In that imaginary
-moment that was so real from his recent experience, when he was swimming
-forward with all his might to reach the spot in time, would he have
-struck out to the right and saved Mamie, or would he have turned to the
-left and drawn Constance ashore? There was no hesitation. Mamie should
-have lived and Constance might have died, though he would have risked
-his own life a hundred times to help her after the first was safe, and
-though the thought of her death sent a sharp pain through his heart. Was
-he then in love with both? That was an impossibility, he thought, an
-absurdity that could never be a reality, the creation perhaps of some
-morbid story-maker, evolved without experience from the elaboration of
-imaginary circumstances.
-
-Since he had entered upon this frame of mind he had grown very cautious
-and reticent. He was playing with fire on both sides. That Mamie loved
-him with all her heart he now no longer doubted, and as for Constance,
-now that he had not seen her for some time and had found leisure to
-reflect upon her conduct, it seemed clear that the latter could not be
-explained upon any ordinary theory of friendship, and if so, she also
-loved him in her own strange way. He wished it had been easier to decide
-between the two, if he must decide at all. If there was to be no
-decision, he should lose no time in leaving the neighbourhood. To stay
-where he was would be to play a contemptibly irresponsible part. He was
-disturbing Constance’s peace of mind, and he was not sure that at any
-moment he might not do or say something that would make Mamie believe
-that he loved her. He owed too much to these two beings, about whom his
-strongest affections were centred, he could not and would not give
-either the one or the other a moment’s pain.
-
-Totty was also not without her apprehensions in the matter. When she had
-somewhat recovered from the impression of the accident, she began to
-think it very odd that George should have been sitting alone with
-Constance under the trees on that Sunday afternoon. She remembered that
-he had disappeared mysteriously soon after luncheon, without saying
-anything of his intentions. She argued that he had certainly not met
-Constance by accident, and that if the meeting had been agreed upon the
-two must have met before. She knew that George had once loved the girl,
-and all she positively knew of the cause of the coldness between them
-was what she had learned from himself. She had undoubtedly refused him
-and he had been very angry, but that did not prevent his offering
-himself again, and did not by any means exclude the possibility of his
-being accepted. Totty was worldly-wise, and she understood young women
-of Constance’s type better than most of them understand themselves. They
-imagine that in refusing men they are temporarily, and by an act of
-their own volition, putting them back from the state of love to the
-state of devoted friendship, in order to discover whether they
-themselves are in earnest. Many men bear the treatment kindly and
-reappear at the expected time with their second declaration, are
-accepted, happily married and forgotten promptly by designing mothers.
-Occasionally a man appears who is like George Wood, who raves, storms,
-grows thin and refuses to speak to the heartless little flirt who has
-wrecked his existence, until, on a summer’s day he is unexpectedly
-forced into her society again, when he finds that he loves her still,
-tells her so and receives a kind answer, prompted by the fear of losing
-him altogether.
-
-The prospect was not a pleasant one. If at the present juncture
-Constance were to succeed in winning George back, Totty was capable of
-being roused to great and revengeful wrath. Hitherto she had not even
-thought of such a catastrophe as probable, but the discovery that the
-two had been spending a quiet afternoon together under the trees
-strangely altered the face of the situation. If, however, George still
-felt anything for the girl, Totty had not failed to see that she also
-had gained something by the accident. It was a great point that Mamie
-should have saved George’s life, and the longer Mrs. Trimm thought of
-it, the more sure she became that he had owed his salvation to the young
-girl alone, and that the four gentlemen who had appeared so opportunely
-had only been accessories to her action. George must be hard-hearted
-indeed if he were not grateful, and the natural way of showing his
-gratitude should be to fall in love without delay. But George was an
-inscrutable being, as was sufficiently shown by his secretly meeting
-Constance. Totty wondered whether she ought not to give him a hint, to
-convey tactfully to him the information that Mamie was deeply in love,
-to let him know that he was welcome to marry her. She hesitated to do
-this, however, fearing lest George should take to flight. She knew
-better than any one that he had been more attracted by the comfort, the
-quiet and the luxury of her home than by Mamie, when he had consented to
-spend the summer under the roof, and though Mamie herself had now grown
-to be an attraction in his eyes, she did not believe that the girl had
-inspired in him anything like the sincere passion he had felt for
-Constance.
-
-Meanwhile those who had been most nearly affected by the calamity were
-passing through one of those periods of life upon which men and women
-afterwards look back with amazement, wondering how they could have borne
-so much without breaking under the strain. Grace was beside herself with
-grief. After the first few days of passionate weeping she regained some
-command over her actions, but the deep-seated, unrelenting pain, which
-no longer found vent in tears was harder to bear, inasmuch as it was
-more conscious of itself and of its own fearful proportions. For many
-days, the miserable woman never left her room, sitting from morning till
-evening in the same attitude, dry-eyed and motionless, gazing at the
-place where her dead husband had lain; and in that same place she lay
-all night, sleepless, waiting for the dawn, looking for the first grey
-light at the window, listening for his breathing, in the mad hope that
-it had all been but a dream which would vanish before the morning sun.
-Her heart would not break, her strong, well-balanced intelligence would
-not give way, though she longed for death or madness to end her
-sufferings.
-
-At first Constance was always with her, but before long she understood
-that the strong woman preferred to be alone. All that could be done was
-to insist upon her taking food at regular intervals and to pray that her
-state might soon change. Once or twice Constance urged her to leave the
-place and to allow herself to be taken to the city, to the seaside,
-abroad, anywhere away from everything that reminded her of the past. But
-Grace stared at her with coldly wondering eyes.
-
-“It is all I have left—the memory,” she said, and relapsed into silence.
-
-Constance consulted physicians without her sister’s knowledge, but they
-said that there was nothing to be done, that such cases were rare but
-not unknown, that Mrs. Bond’s great strength of constitution would
-survive the strain since it had resisted the first shock. And so it
-proved in the end. For on a certain morning in September, when Constance
-was seated alone in a corner of the old-fashioned garden, she had been
-startled by the sudden appearance of a tall figure in black, and of a
-face which she hardly recognised as being her sister’s. She had been
-accustomed to seeing her in the dimness of a darkened room, wrapped in
-loose garments, her smooth brown hair hanging down in straight plaits.
-She was dressed now with all the scrupulous care of appearance that was
-natural to her, with perfect simplicity as became her deep mourning, but
-also with perfect taste. But the correctness of her costume only served
-to show the changes that had taken place during the past weeks. She was
-thin almost to emaciation, her smooth young cheeks were hollow and
-absolutely colourless, her brown eyes were sunken and their depth was
-accentuated by the dark rings that surrounded them. But she was erect as
-she walked, and she held her head as proudly as ever. Her strength was
-not gone, for she moved easily and without effort. Any one would have
-said, however, that, instead of being nearly two years younger than
-Constance, as she actually was, she must be several years older.
-
-When Constance saw her, she rose quickly with the first expression of
-joy that had escaped her lips for many a day.
-
-“Thank God!” she exclaimed. “At last!”
-
-“At last,” Grace answered quietly. “One thing only, Constance,” she
-continued after a pause. “I will be myself again. But do not talk of
-going away, and never speak of what has happened.”
-
-“I never will, dear,” answered the older girl.
-
-There had been many inquiries made at the house by messengers from Mrs.
-Trimm, but neither she, nor Mamie nor George had ventured to approach
-the place upon which such awful sorrow had descended. They had been
-surprised at not learning that the two sisters had left their
-country-seat, and had made all sorts of conjectures concerning their
-delay in going away, but they gradually became accustomed to the idea
-that Grace might prefer to stay where she was.
-
-“It would kill me!” Totty exclaimed with much emphasis.
-
-“I could not do it,” said Mamie, looking at George and feeling suddenly
-how hateful the sight of the river would have been to her if she had not
-seen his eyes open on that terrible day when he lay like dead before
-her.
-
-“I would not, whether I could or not,” George said. And he on his part
-wondered what he would have felt, had Constance or Mamie, or both,
-perished instead of John Bond. A slight shiver ran through him, and told
-him that he would have felt something he had never experienced before.
-
-One morning when they were all at breakfast a note was brought to George
-in a handwriting he did not recognise, but which was oddly familiar from
-its resemblance to Constance’s.
-
-“Do see what it is!” exclaimed Totty before he had time to ask
-permission to read it.
-
-His face expressed nothing as he glanced over the few lines the note
-contained, folded it again and put it into his pocket.
-
-“Mrs. Bond wants me to go and see her,” he said, in explanation. “I
-wonder why!”
-
-“It is very natural,” Totty answered. “She wants to thank you for what
-you did.”
-
-“Very unnecessary, considering the unfortunate result,” observed George
-thoughtfully.
-
-“Will you go to-day?” Mamie asked in the hope that he would suggest
-taking her with him.
-
-“Of course,” he answered shortly. As soon as breakfast was over he went
-to his work, without spending what he called his quarter of an hour’s
-grace in the garden with his cousin.
-
-George Wood was a nervous and sensitive man in spite of his strong
-organisation, and he felt a strong repugnance to revisiting the scene of
-the fatal accident. He had indeed been on the river several times since
-Bond had been drowned, and had taken Mamie with him, telling her that
-one ought to get over the first impression at once, lest one should lose
-the power of getting over them at all. But to row into the very water in
-which John had died and he himself had nearly lost his life, was as yet
-more than he cared to do when there was no definite object to be gained.
-Though the little wooded point of land was nearer to the house than the
-landing, he went to the latter without hesitation.
-
-He was shocked at Grace’s appearance when he met her in the great old
-drawing-room. Her face was very grave, almost solemn in its immobility,
-and her eyes looked unnaturally large.
-
-“I fear I have given you a great deal of trouble, Mr. Wood,” she said as
-she laid her thin cold fingers in his hand. He remembered that her grasp
-had formerly been warm and full of life.
-
-“Nothing that you could ask of me would give me trouble,” George
-answered earnestly. He had an idea that she wanted him to do her some
-service, in some way connected with the accident, but he could not
-imagine what it might be.
-
-“Thank you,” she said. He noticed that she continued to stand, and that
-she was apparently dressed for going out. “That is one reason why I
-asked you to come. I have not been myself and have seen no one until
-now. Let me thank you—as only I can—for your noble and gallant attempt
-to save my husband.”
-
-Her voice did not tremble nor did the glance of her deep eyes waver as
-she spoke of the dead man, but George felt that he had never seen nor
-dreamed of such grief as hers.
-
-“I could not do less,” he said hoarsely, for he found it hard to speak
-at all.
-
-“No man ever did more. No man could do more,” Grace said gravely. “And
-now, will you do me a great service? A great kindness?”
-
-“Anything,” George answered readily.
-
-“It will be hard for you. It will be harder for me. Will you come with
-me to the place and tell me as well as you can, how it all happened?”
-
-George looked at her in astonishment. Her eyes were fixed on his face
-and her expression had not changed.
-
-“It is the only kindness any one can do for me,” she said simply; and
-then without waiting for any further answer she turned towards the door.
-
-George walked by her side in silence. They left the house and took the
-direction of the wooded point, never exchanging a word as they went.
-From time to time George glanced at his companion’s face, wondering
-inwardly what manner of woman she might be who was able to suffer as she
-evidently had suffered, and yet could of her own accord face such an
-explanation of events as she had asked him to give her. In less than ten
-minutes they had reached the spot. Grace stood a few seconds without
-speaking, her thin face fixed in its unchangeable look of pain, her arms
-hanging down, her hands clasped loosely together.
-
-“Now tell me. Tell me everything. Do not be afraid—I am very strong.”
-
-George collected his thoughts. He wished to make the story as short as
-possible, while omitting nothing that was of vital importance.
-
-“I was rowing,” he said, “and I saw what happened. The boat was lying to
-and drifting very slowly. Your husband put the helm up and she began to
-turn. At that moment the squall came. He tried to let out the sail—that
-would have taken off the pressure—but it seemed as though he could not.
-The last I saw of him was just as the boat heeled over. He seemed to be
-trying to get the sheet—the rope, you know—loose, so that it would run.
-Then the boat went over and I thought he had merely fallen overboard
-upon the other side. I asked you if he could swim. When you cried out, I
-jumped over and swam as hard as I could. Not seeing him I dived under.
-He seemed to be entangled in the ropes and the sail and was struggling
-furiously. I tried to drag him back, but he could not get out and caught
-me by the arm so that I could not move either. I did my best, but my
-breath would not hold out, and I could not get my head from under. He
-was not moving then, though he held me still. That is the last I
-remember, his grip upon my arm. Then I took in the water and it was all
-over.”
-
-He ceased speaking and looked at Grace. She was, if possible, paler than
-before, but she had not changed her position and she was gazing at the
-water. Many seconds elapsed, until George began to fear that she had
-fallen into a sort of trance. He waited a little longer and then spoke
-to her.
-
-“Mrs. Bond!” She made no reply. “Are you ill?” he asked. She turned her
-head slowly towards him.
-
-“No. I am not ill. Let us go back,” she said.
-
-They returned to the house as silently as they had come. Her step did
-not falter and her face did not change. When they reached the door, she
-stood still and put out her hand, evidently wishing him to leave her.
-
-“You were very brave,” she said. “And you have been very kind to-day. I
-hope you will come and see me sometimes.”
-
-George bowed his head silently and took leave of her. He had not the
-heart to ask for Constance, and, indeed, he preferred to be alone for a
-time. He had experienced a new and strange emotion, and his eyes had
-been opened concerning the ways of human suffering. If he had not seen
-and heard, he would never have believed that a woman capable of such
-calmness was in reality heartbroken. But it was impossible to look at
-Grace’s face and to hear the tones of her voice without understanding
-instantly that the whole fabric of her life was wrecked. As she had told
-her sister, she had nothing left but the memory, and she had been
-determined that it should be complete, that no detail should be wanting
-to the very end. It was a satisfaction to remember that his last
-words—insignificant enough—had been addressed to her. She had wanted to
-know what his last movement had been, his last struggle for life. She
-knew it all now, and she was satisfied, for there was nothing more to be
-known.
-
-As he rowed himself slowly across the river, George could not help
-remembering the Grace Fearing he remembered in old times and comparing
-her with the woman he had just left. The words she had spoken in praise
-of his courage were still in his ear with their ring of heartfelt
-gratitude and with the look that had accompanied them. There was
-something grand about her which he admired. She had never been afraid to
-show that she disliked him when she had feared that he might marry her
-sister. When Constance had at last determined upon her answer, it had
-been Grace who had conveyed it, with a frankness which he had once
-distrusted, but which he remembered and knew now to have been real. She
-had never done anything of which she was ashamed and she had been able
-now to thank him from her heart, looking fearlessly into his eyes. She
-would have behaved otherwise if she had ever deceived him. She would
-have said too much or too little, or she might have felt bound to
-confess at such a moment that she had formerly done him a wrong. A
-strange woman she was, he thought, but a strong one and very honest. She
-had never hesitated in her life, and had never regretted anything she
-had done—it was written in her face even now. He did not understand why
-she wished to see him often, for he could have supposed that his mere
-presence must call up the most painful memories. But he determined that
-if she remained some time longer he would once or twice cross the river
-and spend an hour with her. The remembrance of to-day’s interview would
-make all subsequent meetings seem pleasant by comparison.
-
-The circumstances of the afternoon had wearied him, and he was glad to
-find himself again in the midst of more pleasant and familiar
-associations. In answer to Totty’s inquiries as to how Grace looked and
-behaved during his visit, he said very little. She looked very ill, she
-behaved with great self-possession, and she had wished to know some
-details about the accident. More than that George would not say, and his
-imperturbable face did not betray that there was anything more to be
-said. In the evening he found himself alone with Mamie on the verandah,
-Totty having gone within as usual, on pretence of writing letters. The
-weather was still pleasant, though it had grown much cooler, and Mamie
-had thrown a soft white shawl over her shoulders, of which George could
-see the outlines in the gloom.
-
-“Tell me, what did she really do?” Mamie asked, after a long silence.
-
-George hesitated a moment. He was willing to tell her many things which
-he would not have told her mother, for he felt that she could understand
-them and sympathise with them when Totty would only pretend to do so.
-
-“Why do you want to know?” he asked, by way of giving himself more time
-to think.
-
-“Is it not natural? I would like to know how a woman acts when the man
-she loves is dead.”
-
-“Poor thing!” said George. “There is not much to tell, but I would not
-have it known—do you understand? She made me walk with her to the place
-where it happened and go over the whole story. She never said a word,
-though she looked like death. She suffers terribly—so terribly that
-there is something grand in it.”
-
-“Poor Grace! I can understand. She wanted to know all there was to be
-known. It is very natural.”
-
-“Is it? It seemed strange to me. Even I did not like to go near the
-place, and it was very hard to tell her all about it—how poor Bond
-gripped my arm, and then the grip after he was dead.”
-
-He shuddered and was silent for a moment.
-
-“I said it all as quickly and clearly as I could,” he added presently.
-“She thanked me for telling her, and for what I had done to save her
-husband. She said she hoped I would come again sometimes, and then I
-left.”
-
-“You did not see Constance, I suppose?”
-
-“No. She did not appear. I fancy her sister told her not to interrupt us
-and so she kept out of the way. It was horribly sad—the whole thing. I
-could not help thinking that if it had not been for you, the poor
-creature would never have known how it happened. I should not have been
-alive to tell the tale.”
-
-“Are you glad that you were not drowned?” Mamie asked in a rather
-constrained voice.
-
-“For myself? I hardly know. I cannot tell whether I set much value on
-life or not. Sometimes it seems to be worth living, and sometimes I
-hardly care.”
-
-“How can you say that, George!” exclaimed the young girl indignantly.
-“You, so young and so successful.”
-
-“Whether life is worth living or not—who knows? It has been said to
-depend on climate and the affections.”
-
-“The climate is not bad here—and as for the affections——” Mamie broke
-off in a nervous laugh.
-
-“No,” George said as though answering an unspoken reproach. “I do not
-mean that. I know that you are all very fond of me and very good to me.
-But look at poor John Bond. He always seemed to you to be an
-uninteresting fellow, and I used to wonder why he found life worth
-living. I know now. He was loved—loved as I fancy very few men have ever
-been. If you could have seen that poor woman’s face to-day, you would
-understand what I mean.”
-
-“I can understand without having seen it,” said Mamie in a smothered
-voice.
-
-“No,” said George, pursuing his train of thought, tactless and manlike.
-“You cannot understand—nobody can, who has not seen her. There is
-something grand, magnificent, queenly in a sorrow like that, and it
-shows what she felt for the man and what he knew she felt. No wonder
-that he looked happy! Now I, if I had been drowned the other day—if you
-had not saved me—of course people would have been very sorry, but there
-would have been no grief like that.”
-
-He was silent. Then a sharp short sob broke the stillness, and as he
-turned his head he saw that Mamie had risen and was passing swiftly
-through the door into the drawing-room. He rose to his feet and then
-stood still, knowing that it was of no use to follow her.
-
-“What a brute I am!” he thought as he sat down again.
-
-Several minutes passed. He could hear the sound of subdued voices
-within, and then a door was opened and closed. A moment later Totty came
-out and looked about. She was dazzled by the light and could not see
-him. He rose and went forward.
-
-“Here I am,” he said.
-
-She laid her hand upon his arm and looked at his face as she spoke, very
-gently.
-
-“George, dear—things cannot go on like this,” she said.
-
-“You are quite right, Totty,” he answered. “I will go away to-morrow.”
-
-“Sit down,” said Totty. “Have you got one of those cigars? Light it. I
-want to have a long talk with you.”
-
-Totty Trimm had determined to bring matters to a crisis.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXII.
-
-
-George felt that his heart was beating faster as he prepared to hear
-what Totty had to say. He knew that the moment had come for making a
-decision of some sort, and he was annoyed that it should be thrust upon
-him, especially by Totty Trimm. He could not be sure of what she was
-about to say, but he supposed that it was her intention to deliver him a
-lecture upon his conduct towards Mamie, and to request him to make it
-clear to the girl, either by words or by an immediate departure, that he
-could never love her and much less marry her, considering his relatively
-impecunious position. It struck him that many women would have spoken in
-a more severe tone of voice than his cousin used, but this he attributed
-to her native good humour as much as to her tact. He drew his chair
-nearer to hers, nearer than it had been to Mamie’s, and prepared to
-listen.
-
-“George, dear boy,” said Totty, “this is a very delicate matter. I
-really hardly know how to begin, unless you will help me.” A little
-laugh, half shy, half affectionate, rippled pleasantly in the dusky air.
-Totty meant to show from the first that she was not angry.
-
-“About Mamie?” George suggested.
-
-“Yes,” Totty answered with a quick change to the intonation of sadness.
-“About Mamie. I am very much troubled about her. Poor child! She is so
-unhappy—you do not know.”
-
-“I am sincerely sorry,” said George gravely. “I am very fond of her.”
-
-“Yes, I know you are. If things had not been precisely as they are——”
-She paused as though asking his help.
-
-“You would have been glad of it. I understand.” George thought that she
-was referring to his want of fortune, as she meant that he should think.
-She wanted to depress him a little, in order to surprise him the more
-afterwards.
-
-“No, George dear. You do not understand. I mean that if you loved her,
-instead of being merely fond of her, it would be easier to speak of it.”
-
-“To tell me to go away?” he asked, in some perplexity.
-
-“No indeed! Do you think I am such a bad friend as that? You must not be
-so unkind. Do you think I would have begged you so hard to come and stay
-all summer with us, that I would have left you so often together——”
-
-“You cannot mean that you wish me to marry her!” George exclaimed in
-great astonishment.
-
-“It would make me very happy,” said Totty gently.
-
-“I am amazed!” exclaimed George. “I do not know what to say—it seems so
-strange!”
-
-“Does it? It seems so natural to me. Mamie is always first in my
-mind—whatever can contribute to her happiness in any way—and especially
-in such a way as this——”
-
-“And she?” George asked.
-
-“She loves you, George—with all her heart.” Totty touched his hand
-softly. “And she could not love a man whom we should be more glad to see
-her marry,” she added, putting into her voice all the friendly
-tenderness she could command.
-
-George let his head sink on his breast. Totty held his hand a moment
-longer, gave it an infinitesimal squeeze and then withdrew her own,
-sinking back into her chair with a little sigh as though she had
-unburdened her heart. For some seconds neither spoke again.
-
-“Cousin Totty,” George said at last, “I believe you are the best friend
-I have in the world. I can never thank you for all your disinterested
-kindness.”
-
-Totty smiled sweetly in the dark, partly at the words he used and partly
-at the hopes she founded upon them.
-
-“It would be strange if I were not,” she said. “I have many reasons for
-not being your enemy, at all events. I have thought a great deal about
-you during the last year. Will you let me speak quite frankly?”
-
-“You have every right to say what you think,” George answered
-gratefully. “You have taken me in when I was in need of all the
-friendship and kindness you have given me. You have made me a home, you
-have given me back the power to work, which seemed gone, you have——”
-
-“No, no, George, do not talk of such wretched things. There are hundreds
-of people who would be only too proud and delighted to have George
-Winton Wood spend a summer with them—yes, or marry their daughters. You
-do not seem to realise that—a man of your character, of your rising
-reputation—not to say celebrity—a man of your qualities is a match for
-any girl. But that is not what I meant to say. It is something much
-harder to express, something about which I have never talked to you, and
-never thought I should. Will you forgive me, if I speak now? It is about
-Constance Fearing.”
-
-George looked up quickly.
-
-“Provided you say nothing unkind or unjust about her,” he answered
-without hesitation.
-
-“I?” ejaculated Totty in surprise. “Am I not so fond of her, that I
-wanted you to marry her? I cannot say more, I am sure. Constance is a
-noble-hearted girl, a little too sensitive perhaps, but good beyond
-expression. Yes, she is good. That is just the word. Scrupulous to a
-degree! She has the most finely balanced conscience I have ever known.
-Dr. Drinkwater—you know, our dear rector in New York—says that there is
-no one who does more for the poor, or who takes a greater interest in
-the church, and that she consults him upon everything, upon every point
-of duty in her life—it is splendid, you know. I never knew such a
-girl—and then, so clever! A Lady Bountiful and a Countess Matilda in
-one! Only—no, I am not going to say anything against her, because there
-is simply nothing to be said—only I really do not believe that she is
-the wife for you, dear boy. I do not pretend to say why. There is some
-reason, some subtle, undefinable reason why you would not suit each
-other. I do not mean to say that she is vacillating or irresolute. On
-the contrary, her sensitive conscience is one of the great beauties of
-her character. But I have always noticed that people who are long in
-deciding anything irritate you. Is it not true? Of course I cannot
-understand you, George, but I sometimes feel what you think, almost as
-soon as you. That is not exactly what I mean, but you understand. That
-is one reason. There are others, no doubt. Do you know what I think? I
-believe that Constance Fearing ought to marry one of those splendid
-young clergymen one hears about, who devote their lives to doing good,
-and to the poor—and that kind of thing.”
-
-“I daresay,” said George, as Totty paused. The idea was new to him, but
-somehow it seemed very just. “At all events,” he added, “she ought to
-marry a better man than I am.”
-
-“Not better—as good in a different way,” suggested Totty. “An especially
-good man, rather than an especially clever one.”
-
-“I am not especially clever,” George answered. “I have worked harder
-than most men and have succeeded sooner. That is all.”
-
-“Of course it is your duty to be modest about yourself. We all have our
-opinions. Some people call that greatness—never mind. The principle is
-the same. Tell me—you admire her, and all that, but you do not honestly
-believe that you and she are suited to each other, do you?”
-
-Totty managed her voice so well that she made the question seem natural,
-and not at all offensive. George considered his reply for a moment
-before he spoke.
-
-“I think you are right,” he said. “We are not suited to each other.”
-
-Totty breathed more freely, for the moment had been a critical one.
-
-“I was sure of it, though I used to wish it had been otherwise. I used
-to hope that you would marry her, until I knew you both better—until I
-saw there was somebody else who was—well—in short, who loves you better.
-You do not mind my saying it.”
-
-“I am sorry if it is true——”
-
-“Why should you be sorry? Could anything be more natural? I should think
-that a man would be very glad and very happy to find that he is dearly
-loved by a thoroughly nice girl——”
-
-“Yes, if——”
-
-“No! I know what you are going to say. If he loves her. My dear George,
-it is of no use to deny it. You do love Mamie. Any one can see it,
-though she would die rather than have me think that she believed it. I
-do not say it is a romantic passion and all that. It is not. You have
-outgrown that kind of thing, and you are far too sensible, besides. But
-I do say that you are devotedly attached to her, that you seek her
-society, that you show how much you like to be alone with her—a thousand
-things, that we can all see.”
-
-“All” referred to Totty herself, of course, but George was too much
-disturbed to notice the fact. He could find nothing to say and Totty
-continued.
-
-“Not that I blame you in the least. I ought to blame myself for bringing
-you together. I should if I were not so sure that it is the best thing
-for your happiness as well as for Mamie’s. You two are made for each
-other, positively made for each other. Mamie is not beautiful, of
-course—if she were I would not give you a catalogue of her advantages.
-She is not rich——”
-
-“You forget that I have only my profession,” said George, rather
-sharply.
-
-“But what a profession—besides if it came to that, we should always wish
-our daughter to live as she has been accustomed to live. That is not the
-question. She is not beautiful and she is not rich, but you cannot deny
-it, George, she has a charm of her own, a grace, a something that a man
-will never be tired of because he can never find out just what it is,
-nor just where it lies. That is quite true, is it not?”
-
-“Dear cousin Totty, I deny nothing——”
-
-“No, of course not! You cannot deny that, at least—and then, do you
-know? You have the very same thing yourself, the something undefinable
-that a woman likes. Has no one ever told you that?”
-
-“No indeed!” exclaimed George, laughing a little in spite of himself.
-
-“I am quite serious,” said Totty. “Mamie and you are made for each
-other. There can be no doubt about it, any more than there can be about
-your loving each other, each in your own way.”
-
-“If it were in the same way——”
-
-“It is not so different. I was thinking of it only the other day.
-Suppose that several people were in danger at once—in that dreadful
-river, for instance—you would save her first.”
-
-George glanced sharply at his cousin. The same idea had crossed his own
-mind.
-
-“How do you know that?” he asked.
-
-“Is it not true?”
-
-“Yes—I suppose it is. But I cannot imagine how you guessed——”
-
-“Do you think I am blind?” asked Totty, almost indignantly. “Do you
-think Mamie does not know it as well as I do? After all these months of
-devotion! You must think me very dull—the only wonder is that you should
-not yet have told her so.”
-
-George wondered why she took it for granted that he had not.
-
-“What I should have to tell her would be very hard to say, as it ought
-to be said,” he answered thoughtfully.
-
-Totty’s manner changed again and she turned her head towards him,
-lowering her voice and speaking in a tone of sincere sympathy.
-
-“Oh, I know how hard it must be!” she said. “Most of all for you. To
-say, ‘I love you,’ and then to add, ‘I do not love you in the same way
-as I once loved another.’ But then, must one add that? Is it not
-self-evident? Ah no! There is no love like the first, indeed there is
-not!”
-
-Totty sighed deeply, as though the recollection of some long buried
-fondness were still dear, and sweet and painful.
-
-“And yet, one does love,” she continued a little more cheerfully. “One
-loves again, often more truly, if one knew it, and more sincerely than
-the first time. It is better so—the affection of later years is happier
-and brighter and more lasting than that other. And it is love, in the
-best sense of the word, believe me it is.”
-
-If there had been the least false note of insincerity in her voice,
-George would have detected it. But what Totty attempted to do, she did
-well, with a consummate appreciation of details and their value which
-would have deceived a keener man than he. Moreover, he himself was in
-great doubt. He was really so strongly attracted by Mamie as to know
-that a feather’s weight would turn the scale. But for the recollection
-of Constance he would have loved her long ago with a love in which there
-might have been more of real passion and less of illusion. Mamie was in
-many ways a more real personage in his appreciation than Constance.
-Totty had defined the difference between the two very cleverly by what
-she had said. The more he thought of it, the more ideal Constance seemed
-to become.
-
-But there was another element at work in his judgment. He was obliged to
-confess that Totty was right in another of her facts. During the long
-months of the summer he had undoubtedly acted in a way to make ordinary
-people believe that he loved Mamie. He had more than once shown that he
-resented Totty’s presence, and Totty had taken the hint and had gone
-away, with a readiness he only understood now. He had been very much
-spoiled by her, but had never supposed that she desired the marriage. It
-had been enough for him to show that he wished to talk to Mamie without
-interruption and he had been immediately humoured as he was humoured in
-everything in that charming establishment. Totty, however, and, of
-course, poor Mamie herself, had put an especial construction upon all
-his slightest words and gestures. To use the language of the world, he
-had compromised the girl, and had made her believe that he was to some
-extent in love with her, which was infinitely worse. It was very kind of
-Totty to be so tactful and diplomatic. Honest Sherry Trimm would have
-asked him his intentions in two words and would have required an answer
-in one, a mode of procedure which would have been far less agreeable.
-
-“You owe her something, George,” Totty said after a long pause. “She
-saved your life. You must not break her heart—it would be a poor
-return.”
-
-“God forbid! Totty, do you think seriously that I have acted in a way to
-make Mamie believe I love her?”
-
-“I am sure you have—she knew it long ago. You need hardly tell her, she
-is so sure of it.”
-
-“I am very glad,” George answered. “What will cousin Sherry say to
-this?”
-
-“Oh, George! How can you ask? You know how fond he is of you—he will be
-as glad as I if——”
-
-“There shall be no ‘ifs,’” George interrupted. “I will ask Mamie
-to-morrow.”
-
-He had made up his mind, for he detested uncertainties of all sorts. He
-felt that however he might compare Mamie with Constance, he was on the
-verge of some sort of passion for the former, whereas the latter
-represented something never to be realised, something which, even if
-offered him now, he could not accept without misgivings and doubts.
-Since he had made Mamie believe that he loved her, no matter how
-unintentionally the result had been produced, and since he felt that he
-could love her in return, and be faithful to her, and, lastly, since her
-father and mother believed that the happiness of her life depended upon
-him, it seemed most honourable to disappoint no one, and if it turned
-out that he was making a sacrifice he would keep it to himself
-throughout his natural life.
-
-Totty held her breath for a moment after he had made his statement,
-fearing lest she should utter some involuntary exclamation of delight,
-too great even for the occasion. Then she rose and came to his side,
-laid her hands upon his shoulders and touched his dark forehead with her
-salmon-coloured lips. George remembered that a humming-bird had once
-brushed his face with its wings, and the one sensation reminded him of
-the other.
-
-“God bless you, my dear son!” said Totty in accents that would have
-carried the conviction of sincerity to an angel’s heart.
-
-George pressed her hand warmly, but with an odd feeling that the action
-was not spontaneous. He felt as though he were doing something that was
-expected of him, and was doing it as well as he could, without
-enthusiasm. He looked up in the gloom and felt that something warm fell
-upon his face.
-
-“Why, cousin Totty, you are crying!” he exclaimed.
-
-“Happy tears,” answered Mrs. Sherrington Trimm in a voice trembling with
-emotion. Then she turned and swiftly entered the drawing-room, leaving
-him alone in the verandah in the darkness.
-
-“So the die is cast, and I am to marry Mamie,” he thought, as soon as
-she was gone.
-
-In the first moments it was hard to realise that he had bound himself by
-an engagement from which he could not draw back, and that so soon after
-he had broken with Constance Fearing. Five months had not gone by since
-the first of May, since he had believed that his life was ruined and his
-heart broken. What had there been in his love for Constance which had
-made it unreal from first to last, real only in the moment of
-disappointment? He found no answer to the question, and he thought of
-Mamie, his future wife. Yes, Totty was right. So far as it was possible
-to judge they were suited to each other in all respects except in his
-own lack of fortune. “Suited” was the very word. He would never feel
-what he had felt for the other, the tenderness, the devotion, the
-dependence on her words for his daily happiness—he might own it now, the
-sweet fear of hurting her or offending her, which he had only half
-understood. Constance had dominated him during their intercourse, and
-until he had seen her real weakness. With Mamie it would be different.
-She clung to him, not he to her. She looked up to him as a superior, he
-could never worship her as an idol. He was to occupy the shrine
-henceforth and he was to play the god and smile upon her when she
-offered incense. There could not be two images in two shrines, smiling
-and burning perfumes at each other. George smiled at the idea. But there
-was to be something else, something he had only lately begun to know. He
-was to be devotedly loved by some one, tenderly thought of, tenderly
-treated by one who now, at least, held the first place in his heart.
-That was very different from what he had hitherto received, the
-perpetual denial of love, the repeated assurances of friendship. He
-thought of that wonderful expression which he had seen two or three
-times on Mamie’s face, and he was happy. There was nothing he would not
-do, nothing he would not sacrifice for the sake of receiving such love
-as that.
-
-He slept peacefully through the night, undisturbed by visions of future
-trouble or dreams of coming disappointment. Nor had his mood changed
-when he awoke in the morning and gazed through the open windows at the
-trees beyond the river, where Constance’s house was hidden. Would
-Constance be sorry to hear the news? Probably not. She would meet him
-with renewed offers of eternal friendship, and would in all probability
-come to the wedding. She had never felt anything for him. His lip curled
-scornfully as he turned away.
-
-Early in the morning Totty entered her daughter’s room. There was
-nothing extraordinary in the visit, and Mamie, who was doing her hair,
-did not look round, though she greeted her mother with a word of
-welcome. Totty kissed her with unwonted tenderness, even considering
-that she was usually demonstrative in her affections.
-
-“Dear child,” she said, “I just came in to see how you had slept. You
-need not go away,” she added, addressing the maid. “You are a little
-pale, Mamie. But then you always are and it is becoming to you. What
-shall you wear to-day? It is very warm again—you might put on white,
-almost.”
-
-“Conny Fearing always wears white,” Mamie answered.
-
-“Why, she is in mourning of course,” said Mrs. Trimm with some
-solemnity.
-
-“Is she? For her brother-in-law? Well, she always did, which is the same
-thing, exactly. She had on a white frock on the day of the accident. I
-can see her now!”
-
-“Oh then, by all means wear something else,” said Totty with alacrity.
-“You might try that striped flannel costume—or the skirt with a blouse,
-you know. That is new.”
-
-“No,” said Mamie with great decision. “I do not believe it is warm at
-all and I mean to wear my blue serge.”
-
-“Well,” answered Mrs. Trimm, “perhaps it is the most becoming thing you
-have.”
-
-“Positively, mamma, I have not a thing to wear!” exclaimed Mamie, by
-sheer force of habit.
-
-“I am sure I have not,” answered her mother with a laugh.
-
-“Oh you, mamma! You have lots of things.”
-
-Totty did not go away until she had assured herself that Mamie was at
-her best. She knew that it would have been folly to give the girl any
-warning of what was about to take place, and she was aware that Mamie’s
-taste in dress was even better than her own, but she had been unable to
-resist the desire to see her and to go over in her own heart the
-circumstances of her triumph. She knew also that Mamie would never
-forgive her if she should discover that her mother had known of George’s
-intention before George had communicated it to herself, but it seemed
-very hard to be obliged to wait even a few hours before showing her
-intense satisfaction at the result of her diplomacy.
-
-During breakfast she was unusually cheerful and talkative, whereas
-George was exceptionally silent and spoke with an evident effort. Mamie
-herself had to some extent recovered her spirits, though she was very
-much ashamed of having made such an exhibition of her feelings on the
-previous evening. She offered a lame explanation, saying that she had
-felt suddenly cold and had run up to her room to get something warmer to
-put on; seeing it was so late, she had not thought it worth while to
-come down again. Then she changed the subject as quickly as she could
-and was admirably seconded by her mother in her efforts to make
-conversation. George’s face betrayed nothing. It was impossible to say
-whether he believed her story or not.
-
-“I suppose you are going to work all the morning,” observed Mrs. Trimm
-as they rose from the table.
-
-“I am not sure,” George answered, looking steadily at her for a second.
-“At all events I will have a turn in the garden before I set to. Will
-you come, Mamie?” he asked, turning to his cousin.
-
-For some minutes they walked away from the house in silence. George was
-embarrassed and had not made up his mind what he should say. He did not
-look at his cousin’s face, but as he glanced down before him he was
-conscious of her graceful movement at his side. Perfect motion had
-always had an especial charm for him, and at the present moment he was
-glad to be charmed. Presently they found themselves in a shady place
-beneath certain old trees, out of sight of the garden. George stopped
-suddenly, and Mamie stopping also, looked at him in some little
-surprise.
-
-“Mamie,” he said, in the best voice he could find, “do you love me?”
-
-“Better than anything in the world,” answered the young girl. Her lips
-grew slowly white and there was a startled look in her fearless grey
-eyes.
-
-“You saved my life. Will you take it—and keep it?”
-
-He looked to her for an answer. A supreme joy came into her face, then
-shivered like a broken mirror under a blow, and gave way to an agonised
-fear.
-
-“Oh, do not laugh at me!” she cried, in broken and beseeching tones.
-
-“Laugh at you, dear? God forbid! I am asking you to be my wife.”
-
-“Oh no! It is not true—you do not love me—it never can be true!” But as
-she spoke, the day of happiness dawned again in her eyes—as a summer sun
-rising through a sweet shower of raindrops—and broke and flooded all her
-face with gladness.
-
-“I love you, and it is quite true,” he answered.
-
-The girl had for months concealed the great passion of her life as well
-as she could; she had borne, with all the patience she could command,
-the daily bitter disappointment of finding him always the same towards
-her; she had suffered much and had hidden her sufferings bravely, but
-the sudden happiness was more than she could control. As he held her in
-his arms, he felt her weight suddenly as though she had fallen, and he
-saw her eyelids droop and her long straight lips part slowly over her
-gleaming teeth. She was not beautiful, and he knew it as he looked at
-her white unconscious face. But she loved him as he had never been loved
-before, and in that moment he loved her also. Supporting her with one
-arm, he held up her head with his other hand and kissed her again and
-again, with a passion he had never felt. Very slowly the colour returned
-to her lips, and then her eyes opened. There was no surprise in them,
-for she was hardly conscious that she had fainted.
-
-“Have I been long so?” she asked faintly as the look of life and joy
-came back.
-
-“Only a moment, darling,” he answered.
-
-“And it is to be so for ever—oh, it is too much, too good, too great.
-How can I believe so much in one day?”
-
-It was long before they turned back again towards the house. The sun
-rose higher and higher, and the winnowed light fell upon them through
-the leaves reddened by the autumn colours that were already spreading
-over the woods, from tree to tree, from branch to branch, from leaf to
-leaf, like one long sunset lasting many days. But they sat side by side
-not heeding the climbing sun nor the march of the noiseless hours. Their
-soft voices mingled lovingly with each other and with the murmur of the
-scarcely stirring breeze. Very reluctantly they rose at last to return,
-their arms twined about each other until they saw the gables of the
-house rising above them out of the rich mass of red, and orange, and
-yellow, and brown, and green that crowned the maples, the oaks and the
-sycamores. One last long kiss under the shade, and they were out upon
-the hard brown earth of the drive, in sight of the windows, walking
-civilly side by side with the distance of half a pace between them.
-Totty, the discreet, had watched for them until she had caught a glimpse
-of their figures through the shrubbery and had then retired within to
-await the joyful news.
-
-Mamie disappeared as soon as they entered the house, glad to be alone if
-she could not be with the man she loved. But George went straight to her
-mother in the little morning-room where she generally sat. She looked up
-from her writing, as though she had been long absorbed in it, then
-suddenly smiled and held out her hand. George pressed it with more
-sincerity than he had been able to find for the same demonstration of
-friendliness on the previous evening.
-
-“I am very glad I took your advice,” he said. “I am a very happy man.
-Mamie has accepted me.”
-
-“Has she taken the whole morning to make up her mind about so simple a
-matter?” asked Totty archly.
-
-“Well, not all the morning,” George answered. “We had one or two ideas
-to exchange afterwards. Totty—no, I cannot call my mother-in-law Totty,
-it is too absurd! Cousin Charlotte—will that do? Very well, cousin
-Charlotte, you must telegraph for Sherry’s—I beg his pardon, for Mr.
-Trimm’s consent. Where is he?”
-
-“Here—see for yourself,” said Totty holding up to his eyes a sheet of
-paper on which was written a short cable.
-
-“Trimm. Carlsbad, Bohemia. Mamie engaged George Wood. Wire consent.
-Totty.”
-
-“You see how sure I was of her. I wrote this while you were out there—it
-is true, you gave me time.”
-
-“Sure of her, and of your husband,” said George, surprised by the form
-of the message.
-
-“Oh, I have no doubts about him,” answered Mrs. Trimm with a light
-laugh. “He thinks you are perfection, you know.”
-
-The reply came late that night, short, sharp and business-like.
-
-“Fix wedding-day. Returning. Sherry.”
-
-It was read by Totty with a sort of delirious scream of triumph, the
-first genuine expression she had permitted herself since her efforts had
-been crowned with success.
-
-“It is too good to be believed,” said Mamie aloud, as she laid her head
-on the pillow.
-
-“I would never have believed it,” said George thoughtfully, as he turned
-from his open window where he had been standing an hour.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIII.
-
-
-“We had better say nothing about it for the present,” said Totty to
-George on the following day. “It will only cause complications, and it
-will be much easier when we are all in town.”
-
-The two were seated together in the little morning-room, discussing the
-future and telling over what had happened. George was in a frame of mind
-which he did not recognise, and he seemed laughable in his own eyes,
-though he was far from being unhappy. His surprise at the turn events
-had taken had not yet worn off and he could not help being amused at
-himself for having known his own mind so little. At the same time he was
-grateful to Totty for the part she had played and was ready to yield to
-all her wishes in the matter. With regard to announcing the engagement,
-she told him that it was quite unnecessary to do so yet, and that, among
-other reasons, it would be better in the eyes of the world to publish
-the social banns after Sherrington had returned from abroad. Moreover,
-if the engagement were made known at once, it would be in accordance
-with custom that George should leave the house and find a lodging in the
-nearest town.
-
-“I cannot tell why, I am sure,” said Mrs. Trimm, “but it is always done,
-and I should be so sorry if you had to leave us just now.”
-
-“It would not be pleasant,” George answered, thoughtfully. He had wished
-to inform Constance as soon as possible.
-
-So the matter was decided, somewhat to his dissatisfaction in one
-respect, but quite in accordance with his inclinations in all others.
-And it was thereupon further agreed that as soon as the weather
-permitted, they would all return to town, and make active preparations
-for the wedding. Totty could see no reason whatever why the day should
-not be fixed early in November. She declared emphatically that she hated
-long engagements, and that in this case especially there could be no
-object in putting off the marriage. She assured Mamie that by using a
-little energy everything could be made ready in plenty of time, and she
-promised that there should be no hitch in the proceedings.
-
-The week that followed the events last narrated slipped pleasantly and
-quickly away. As George had said at once, he was a very happy man; that
-is to say, he believed himself to be so, because the position in which
-he found himself was new, agreeable and highly flattering to his vanity.
-He could not but believe that he was taken into the family of his cousin
-solely on his own merits. Being in total ignorance of the fortune
-between which and himself the only barrier was the enfeebled health of
-an invalid old man, he very naturally attributed Totty’s anxiety to see
-him marry her daughter to the causes she enumerated. He was still modest
-enough to feel that he was being very much overrated, and to fear lest
-he might some day prove a disappointment to his future wife and her
-family; for the part of the desirable young man was new to him, and he
-did not know how he should acquit himself in the performance of it. But
-the delicious belief that he was loved for himself, as he was, gave
-energy to his good resolutions and maintained at a genial warmth the
-feelings he entertained for her who loved him.
-
-He must not be judged too harshly. In offering to marry Mamie, he had
-felt that he was doing his duty as an honourable man, and he assured
-himself as well as he could that he was able to promise the most sincere
-affection and unchanging fidelity in return for her passionate love. It
-was in one respect a sacrifice, for it meant that he must act in
-contradiction to the convictions of his whole life. He had always
-believed in love, and he had frequently preached that true and mutual
-passion was the only foundation for lasting happiness in marriage. At
-the moment of acceding to Mrs. Trimm’s very clearly expressed proposal,
-George had felt that Mamie would be to him hereafter what she had always
-been hitherto, neither more nor less. He did not wish to marry her, and
-if he agreed to do so, it was because he was assured that her happiness
-depended upon it, and that he had made himself responsible for her
-happiness by his conduct towards her. Being once persuaded of this, and
-assured that he alone had done the mischief, he was chivalrous enough to
-have married the girl, though she had been ugly, ill-educated and poor,
-instead of being rich, refined and full of charm, and to all outward
-appearances he would have married her with as good a grace and would
-have behaved towards her afterwards with as much consideration as though
-he had loved her. But the fact that Mamie possessed so many real and
-undeniable graces and advantages had made the sacrifice seem singularly
-easy, and the twenty-four hours that succeeded the moment of forming the
-resolution, had sufficed to destroy the idea of sacrifice altogether.
-Hitherto, George had fought against the belief that he was loved, and
-had done his best to laugh at it. Now, he was at liberty to accept that
-belief and to make it one of the chief pleasures of his thoughts. It
-flattered his heart, as Totty’s professed appreciation of his fine
-qualities flattered his intelligence. In noble natures flattery produces
-a strong desire to acquit the debt which seems to be created by the
-acceptance of undue praise. Men of such temper do not like to receive
-and give nothing in return, nor can they bear to be thought braver, more
-generous or more gifted than they are. Possessing that high form of
-self-esteem which is honourable pride, they feel all the necessity of
-being in their own eyes worthy of the estimation they enjoy in the
-opinion of other men. The hatred of all false positions is strong in
-them and they are not quick to believe that they are justly valued by
-the world.
-
-George found it easy to imagine that he loved the young girl, when he
-had once admitted the fact that she loved him. It was indeed the
-pleasantest deception he had ever submitted to, or encouraged himself in
-accepting. He hid from himself the fact that his heart had never been
-satisfied, considering that it was better to take the realities of a
-brilliant future than to waste time and sentiment in dreaming of
-illusions. There was nothing to be gained by weighing the undeveloped
-capabilities of his affections against the manifestations of them which
-had hitherto been thrust upon his notice. He was doing what he believed
-to be best for every one as well as for himself, and no good could come
-of a hypercriticism of his sensibilities. Mamie was supremely happy, and
-it was pleasant to feel that he was at once the cause and the central
-figure in her happiness. The course of true love should run pleasantly
-for her at least, and its course would not be hard for him to follow.
-
-A fortnight passed before he thought of fulfilling his promise and
-visiting Grace. The attraction was not great, but he felt a certain
-curiosity to know how she was recovering from the shock she had
-sustained. Once more he crossed the river and walked up the long avenue
-to the old house. As he was passing through the garden he unexpectedly
-came upon Constance, who was wandering idly through the deserted walks.
-
-“It is so long since we have met!” she exclaimed, with an intonation of
-gladness, as she put out her hand.
-
-“Yes,” George answered. “I came once to see your sister, but you were
-not with her. How is she?”
-
-“She is well—as well as any one could expect. I have tried to persuade
-her to go away, but she will not, though I am sure it is bad for her to
-stay here.”
-
-“But you cannot stay for ever. It is already autumn—it will soon be
-winter.”
-
-“I cannot tell,” Constance answered indifferently enough. “I confess
-that I care very little whether we pass the winter here or in town,
-provided Grace is contented.”
-
-“You ought to consider yourself to some extent. You look tired, and you
-must weary of all this sadness and dismal solitude. It stands to reason
-that you should need a change.”
-
-“No change would make any difference to me,” said Constance, walking
-slowly along the path and swinging her parasol slowly from side to side.
-
-“Do you mean that you are ill?” George asked.
-
-“No indeed! I am never really ill. But it is a waste of breath to talk
-of such things. Come into the house. Grace will be so glad to see you;
-she has been anticipating your visit for a long time.”
-
-“Presently,” said George. “The afternoons are still long and it is
-pleasant here in the garden.”
-
-“Do you want to talk to me?” asked the young girl, with the slightest
-intonation of irony.
-
-“I wish to tell you something—something that will surprise you.”
-
-“I am not easily surprised. Is it about yourself?”
-
-“Yes—it is not announced yet, but I want you to know it. You will tell
-no one, of course. I am going to be married.”
-
-“Indeed!” exclaimed Constance, with a slight start.
-
-“Yes. I am sure you will be glad to hear it. I am engaged to be married
-to my cousin, Mamie Trimm.”
-
-Constance was looking so ill, already, that it could not be said that
-she turned pale at the announcement. She walked quietly on, gazing
-before her steadily at some distant object.
-
-“It is rather sudden, I suppose,” said George in a tone that sounded
-unpleasantly apologetic in his own ears.
-
-“Rather,” Constance answered with an effort. “I confess that I am
-astonished. You have my best congratulations.”
-
-She paused, and reflected that her words were very cold. She felt an odd
-chill in herself as well as in her language, and tried to shake it off.
-
-“If you are happy, I am very glad,” she said. “It was not what I
-expected, but I am very glad.”
-
-“Thanks. But, Constance, what did you expect—something very different?
-Why?”
-
-“Nothing—nothing—it is very natural, of course. When are you to be
-married?” All the coldness had returned to her voice as she put the
-question.
-
-“I believe it is to be in November. It will certainly be before
-Christmas. Mr. Trimm is expected to-morrow or the next day. He cabled
-his consent.”
-
-“Yes? Well, I am glad it has all gone so smoothly. I feel cold—is it not
-chilly here? Let us go in and find Grace.”
-
-She began to walk more quickly and in a few moments they reached the
-house, not having exchanged any further words. As they entered the door
-she stopped and turned to her companion.
-
-“Grace is in the drawing-room,” she said. “She wants to see you
-alone—so, good-bye. I hope with all my heart that you will be happy—my
-dear friend. Good-bye.”
-
-She turned and left him standing in the great hall. He watched her
-retreating figure as she entered the staircase which led away to the
-right. He had expected something different in her reception of the news,
-and did not know whether to feel disappointed or not. She had received
-the announcement with very great calmness, so far as he could judge.
-That at least was a satisfaction. He did not wish to have his equanimity
-disturbed at present by any great exhibition of feeling on the part of
-any one but himself. As he opened the door before him he wondered
-whether Constance were really glad or sorry to learn that he was to be
-married.
-
-Grace rose and came towards him. He could not help thinking that she
-looked like a beautiful figure of fate as she stood in the middle of the
-room and held out her hand to take his. She seemed taller and more
-imposing since her husband’s death and there was something interesting
-in her face which had not been there in old times, a look of greater
-strength, combined with a profound sadness, which would have attracted
-the attention of any student of humanity.
-
-“I am very glad to see you—it is so good of you to come,” she said.
-
-“I could not do less, since I had promised—even apart from the pleasure
-it gives me to see you. I met your sister in the garden. She told me she
-hoped that you would be induced to go away for a time.”
-
-Grace shook her head.
-
-“Why should I go away?” she asked. “I am less unhappy here than I should
-be anywhere else. There is nothing to take me to any other place. Why
-not stay here?”
-
-“It would be better for you both. Your sister is not looking well.
-Indeed I was shocked by the change in her.”
-
-“Really? Poor child! It is not gay for her. I am very poor company. You
-thought she was changed, then?”
-
-“Very much,” George answered, thoughtfully.
-
-“And it is a long time since you have seen her. Poor Constance! It will
-end in my going away for her sake rather than my own. I wonder what
-would be best for her, after all.”
-
-“A journey—a change of some sort,” George suggested. He found it very
-hard to talk with the heartbroken young widow, though he could not help
-admiring her, and wondering how long it would be before she took another
-husband.
-
-“No,” Grace answered. “That is not all. She is unsettled, uncertain in
-all she does. If she goes on in this way she will turn into one of those
-morbid, introspective women who do nothing but imagine that they have
-committed great sins and are never satisfied with their own repentance.”
-
-“She is too sensible for that——”
-
-“No, she is not sensible, where her conscience is concerned. I wish some
-one would come and take her out of herself—some one strong,
-enthusiastic, who would shake her mind and heart free of all this
-nonsense.”
-
-“In other words,” said George with a smile, “you wish that your sister
-would marry.”
-
-“Yes, if she would marry the right man—a man like you.”
-
-“Like me!” George exclaimed in great surprise.
-
-“Yes—since I have said it. I did not mean to tell you so. I wish she
-would marry you after all. You will say that I am capricious and you
-will laugh at the way in which I have changed my mind. I admit it. I
-made a mistake. I misjudged you. If it were all to be lived over again,
-instead of paying no attention to what happened, as I did during the
-last year, I would make her marry you. It would have been much better. I
-made a great mistake in letting her alone.”
-
-“I had never expected to hear you say that,” said George, looking into
-her brown eyes and trying to read her thoughts.
-
-“I am not given to talking about myself, as you may have noticed, but I
-once told you that my only virtue was honesty. What I think, I say, if
-there is any need of saying anything. I told you that I never hated you,
-and it is quite true. I disliked you and I did not want you for a
-brother-in-law. In the old days, more than a year ago, Constance and I
-used to quarrel about you. She admired everything you did, and I saw no
-reason to do so. That was before you published your first book, when you
-used to write so many articles in the magazines. She thought them all
-perfection, and I thought some of them were trash and I said so. I
-daresay you think it is not very complimentary of me to tell you what I
-think and thought. Perhaps it is not. There is no reason why I should
-make compliments after what I have said. You have written much that I
-have liked since, and you have made a name for yourself. My judgment may
-be worthless, but those who can judge have told me that some things you
-have done will live. But that is not the reason why I have changed my
-mind about you. If you were still writing those absurd little notices in
-the papers, I should think just as well of you, yourself, as I do now.
-You are not what I thought you were—a clever, rather weak, vain creature
-without the strength of being enthusiastic, nor the courage to be
-cynical. That is exactly what I thought. You will forgive me if I tell
-you so frankly, will you not? I found out that you are strong, brave and
-honourable. I do not expect that you will ever think again of marrying
-my sister, but if you do I shall be glad, and if you do not, I shall
-always be sorry that I did not use all my influence in making Constance
-accept you. That is a long speech, but every word of it is true, and I
-am glad I have told you just what I think.”
-
-George was silent for some seconds. There were assuredly many people in
-the world from whom he would have resented such an exposition of opinion
-in regard to himself. But Grace was not one of these. He respected her
-judgment in a way he could not explain, and he felt that all she had
-said confirmed his own ideas about her character.
-
-“I am glad you have told me,” he answered at length. “I have changed my
-mind about you, too. I used to feel that you were the opposing barrier
-between your sister and me, and that but for you we should have been
-happily married long ago. I hated you accordingly, with a fine
-unreasoning hatred. You were very frank with me when you came to give me
-her decision. I believed you at the moment, but when I was out of the
-house I began to think that you had arranged the whole thing between
-you, and that you were the moving power. It was natural enough, but my
-common sense told me that I was wrong within a month of the time. I have
-liked your frankness, in my heart, all along. It has been the best thing
-in the whole business.”
-
-“You and I understand each other,” said Grace, leaning back in her seat
-and watching his dark face from beneath her heavy, drooping lids. “It is
-strange. I never thought we should, and until lately I never thought it
-would be pleasant if we did.”
-
-George was struck by the familiarity of her tone. She had always been
-the person of all others who had treated him with the most distant
-civility, and whose phrases in speaking with him had been the coldest
-and the most carefully chosen. He had formerly wondered how her voice
-would sound if she were suddenly to say something friendly.
-
-“You are very good,” he answered presently. “With regard to the rest—to
-what you have said about your sister. I have done my best to put the
-past out of my mind, and I have succeeded. When I met her in the garden
-just now, I told her what has happened in my life. I am to be married
-very soon. I did not mean to tell any one but Miss Fearing until it was
-announced publicly, but I cannot help telling you, after what you have
-said. I am going to marry my cousin in two months.”
-
-Grace did not change her position nor open her eyes any wider. She had
-expected to hear the news before long.
-
-“Yes,” she said, “I thought that would happen. I am very glad to hear
-it. Mamie is thorough and will suit you much better than Constance ever
-could. I wish that Constance were half as natural and enthusiastic and
-sensible. She has so much, but she has not that.”
-
-“No enthusiasm?” asked George, remembering how he had lived upon her
-appreciation of his work.
-
-“No. She has changed very much since you used to see her every day. You
-had a good influence over her, you stirred her mind, though you did not
-succeed in stirring her heart enough. She cares for nothing now, she
-never talks, never reads, never does anything but write long letters to
-Dr. Drinkwater about her poor people—or her soul, I do not quite know
-which. No, you need not look grave, I am not abusing her. Poor child, I
-wish I could do anything to make her forget that same soul of hers, and
-those eternal hospitals and charities! Your energy did her good. It
-roused her and made her think. She has a heart somewhere, I suppose, and
-she has plenty of head, but she smothers them both with her soul.”
-
-“She will get over that,” said George. “She will outgrow it. It is only
-a phase.”
-
-“She will never get over it, until she is married,” Grace answered in a
-tone of conviction.
-
-“It is very strange. You talk now as if you were her mother instead of
-being her younger sister.”
-
-“Her younger sister!” Grace exclaimed with a sigh. “I am a hundred years
-older than Constance. Older in everything, in knowing the meanings of
-the two great words—happiness and suffering.”
-
-“Indeed, you may say that,” George answered in a low voice.
-
-“I sometimes think that they are the only two words that have any
-meaning left for me, or that should mean anything to the rest of the
-world.”
-
-The settled look of pain deepened upon her face as she spoke, not
-distorting nor changing the pure outlines, but lending them something
-solemn and noble that was almost grand. George looked at her with a sort
-of awe, and the great question of the meaning of all life and death rose
-before him, as he remembered her husband’s death grip upon his arm, and
-the moment when he himself had breathed in the cool water and given up
-the struggle. He had opened his eyes again to this world to see all that
-was to result of pain and suffering from the death of the other, whose
-sight had gone out for ever. They had been together in the depths. The
-one had been drowned and had taken with him the happiness of the woman
-he had loved. The other, he himself, had been saved and another woman’s
-life had been filled with sunshine. Why the one, rather than the other?
-He, who had always faced life as he had found it, and fought with
-whatever opposed him, asked himself whether there were any meaning in it
-all. Why should those two great things, happiness and suffering, be so
-unevenly distributed? Was poor John Bond a loss to humanity in the
-aggregate? Not a serious one. Did he, George Wood, care whether John
-Bond were alive or dead, beyond the decent regret he felt, or ought to
-feel? No, assuredly not. Would Constance have cared, if he had not
-chanced to be her sister’s husband, did Totty care, did Mamie care? No.
-They were all shocked, which is to say that their nerves, including his
-own, had been painfully agitated. And yet this man, John Bond, for whom
-nobody cared, but whom every one respected, had left behind him in one
-heart a grief that was almost awe-inspiring, a sorrow that sought no
-expression, and despised words, that painted its own image on the
-woman’s face and spread its own solemn atmosphere about her. A keen,
-cool, sharp-witted young lawyer, by the simple act of departing this
-world, had converted a pretty and very sensible young woman into a
-tragic muse, had lent her grandeur of mien, had rendered her imposing,
-had given her a dignity that momentarily placed her higher than other
-women in the scale of womanhood. Which was the real self? The self that
-was gone, or the one that remained? Had a great sorrow given the woman a
-fictitious importance, or had it revealed something noble in her which
-no one had known before? Whichever were true, Grace was no longer the
-Grace Fearing of old, and George felt a strange admiration for her
-growing up within him.
-
-“You are right, I think,” he said after a long pause. “Happiness and
-suffering are the only words that have or ought to have any meaning. The
-rest—it is all a matter of opinion, of taste, of fashion, of anything
-you please excepting the heart.”
-
-“Constance will tell you that right and wrong are the two important
-words,” said Grace. “And she will tell you that real happiness consists
-in being able to distinguish between the two, and that the only
-suffering lies in confounding the wrong with the right.”
-
-“Does religion mean that we are to feel nothing?” George asked.
-
-“That is what the religion of people who have never felt anything seems
-to mean. Pay no attention to your sorrows and distrust all your joys,
-because they are of no importance compared with the welfare of your
-soul. It matters not who lives or who dies, who is married, or who is
-betrayed, provided you take care of your soul, of your miserable,
-worthless, selfish little soul and bring it safe to heaven!”
-
-“That must be an odd sort of religion,” said George.
-
-“It is the religion of those who cannot feel. It is good enough for
-them. I do not know why I am talking in this way, except that it is a
-relief to be able to talk to some one who understands. When are you to
-be married?”
-
-“I hope it may be in November.”
-
-“By-the-bye, what will Mr. Craik think of the marriage? He ought to do
-something for Mamie, I suppose.”
-
-“Mr. Craik is my own familiar enemy,” said George. “I never take into
-consideration what he is likely to do or to leave undone. He will do
-what seems right in his own eyes, and that will very probably seem wrong
-in the eyes of others.”
-
-“Mrs. Trimm doubtless knows best what can be done with him. What did
-Constance say, when you told her of your engagement?”
-
-“Very little. What she will say to you, I have no doubt. That she hopes
-I shall be happy and is very glad to hear of the marriage.”
-
-“I wonder whether she cares,” said Grace thoughtfully. George thought it
-would be more discreet to say nothing than to give his own opinion in
-the matter.
-
-“No one can tell,” Grace continued. “Least of all, herself. I have once
-or twice thought that she regretted you and wished you would propose
-again. And then, at other times, I have felt sure that she was only
-bored—bored to death with me, with her surroundings, with Dr.
-Drinkwater, the poor and her soul. Poor child, I hope she will marry
-soon!”
-
-“I hope so,” said George as he rose to leave. “Will you be kind enough
-not to say anything about the engagement until it is announced? That
-will be in a fortnight or so.”
-
-“Certainly. Come and see me when it is out, unless you will come sooner.
-It is so good of you. Good-bye.”
-
-He left the house and walked down the garden in the direction of the
-trees, thinking very much more of Grace and of her conversation than of
-Constance. Apart from her appearance, which had a novel interest for
-him, and which excited his sympathy, he hardly knew whether he had been
-attracted or repelled by her uncommon frankness of speech. There was
-something in it which he did not recognise as having belonged to her
-before in the same degree, something more like masculine bluntness than
-feminine honesty. It seemed as though she had caught and kept something
-of her dead husband’s manner. He wondered whether she spoke as she did
-in order to remind herself of him by using words that had been familiar
-in his mouth. He was engaged in these reflections when he was surprised
-to meet Constance face to face as he turned a corner in the path.
-
-“I thought you were indoors,” he said, glancing at her face as though
-expecting to see some signs of recent distress there.
-
-But if Constance had shed tears she had successfully effaced all traces
-of them, and her features were calm and composed. The truth of the
-matter was that she feared lest she had betrayed too much feeling in the
-interview in the garden, and now, to do away with any mistaken
-impression in George’s mind, she had resolved to show herself to him
-again.
-
-“Are you in your boat?” she asked. “I thought that as it was rather
-chilly, and if you did not mind, I would ask you to row me out for ten
-minutes in the sun. Do you mind very much?”
-
-“I shall be delighted,” said George, wondering what new development of
-circumstances had announced itself in her sudden desire for boating.
-
-A few minutes later she was seated in the stern and he was rowing her
-leisurely up stream. To his surprise, she talked easily, touching upon
-all sorts of subjects and asking him questions about his book in her
-old, familiar way, but never referring in any way to the past, nor to
-his engagement, until at her own request he had brought her back to the
-landing. She insisted upon his letting her walk to the house alone.
-
-“Good-bye,” she said, “and so many thanks. I am quite warm now—and I am
-very, very glad about the engagement and grateful to you for telling me.
-I hope you will ask me to the wedding!”
-
-“Of course,” George answered imperturbably and then, as he pulled out
-into the stream he watched her slight figure as she followed the winding
-path that led up from the landing to the level of the grounds above.
-When she had reached the top, she waved her hand to him and smiled.
-
-“I would not have him think that I cared—not for the whole world!” she
-was saying to herself as she made the friendly signal and turned away.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIV.
-
-
-Sherrington Trimm arrived on the following afternoon, rosier and fresher
-than ever, and considerably reduced in weight. After the first general
-and affectionate greeting he proceeded to interview each member of the
-family in private, as though he were getting up evidence for a case. It
-was characteristic of him that he spoke to Mamie first. The most
-important point in his estimation was to ascertain whether the girl were
-really in love, or whether she had only contracted a passing attachment
-for George Wood. Knowing all that he did, and all that he supposed was
-unknown to his wife, he could not but regard the match with complacency,
-so far as worldly advantages were concerned. But if he had been once
-assured that his daughter’s happiness was really at stake, he would have
-given her as readily to George, the comparatively impecunious author, as
-to Mr. Winton Wood, the future millionaire.
-
-“Now, Mamie,” he said, linking his arm in hers and leading her into the
-garden, “now, Mamie, tell us all about it.”
-
-Mamie blushed faintly and gave her father a shy glance, and then looked
-down.
-
-“There is not much to tell,” she answered. “I love him, and I am very
-happy. Is not that enough?”
-
-“You are quite sure of yourself, eh?” Mr. Trimm looked sharply at her
-face. “And how long has this been going on?”
-
-“All my life—though—well, how can I explain, papa? You ought to
-understand. One finds out such things all at once, and then one knows
-that they have always been there.”
-
-“I suppose so,” said Sherry. “You did not know that ‘it,’ as you call
-it, was there when I went away.”
-
-“Oh yes, I did.”
-
-“Well, did you know it a year ago?”
-
-“No, perhaps not. Oh, papa, this is like twenty questions.” Mamie
-laughed happily.
-
-“Is it? Never played the game—cannot say. And you have no doubts about
-him, have you?”
-
-“How can anybody doubt him!” Mamie exclaimed indignantly.
-
-“It is my business to doubt,” said Sherry Trimm with a twinkle in his
-eye. “’I am the doubter and the doubt’—never knew what it meant till
-to-day.”
-
-“Then go away, papa!” laughed the young girl.
-
-“And let George have a chance. I suppose that is what you mean. On the
-whole, perhaps I could do nothing better. But I will just see whether he
-has any doubts, and finish my cigar with him.”
-
-Thereupon Sherrington Trimm turned sharply on his heel and went in
-search of George. He found him standing on the verandah pensively
-examining a trail of ants that were busily establishing communication
-between the garden walk and a tiny fragment of sponge cake which had
-fallen upon the step during afternoon tea.
-
-“George,” said Sherry in business-like tones, through which, however,
-the man’s kindly good nature was clearly appreciable, “do you mind
-telling me in a few words why you want to marry my daughter?”
-
-George turned his head, and there was a pleasant smile upon his face.
-Then he pointed to the trail of ants.
-
-“Mr. Sherrington Trimm,” he said, “do you mind explaining to me very
-briefly why those ants are so particularly anxious to get at that piece
-of cake?”
-
-“Like it, I suppose,” Sherry answered laconically.
-
-“That is exactly my case. I have gone to the length of falling very much
-in love with Mamie, and I wish to marry her. I understand that her views
-coincide with mine and that you make no objections. I think that the
-explanation is complete.”
-
-“Very well stated. Now, look here. The only thing I care for on earth is
-that child’s happiness. She is not like all girls. You may have found
-that out, by this time. If you behave yourself as I think you will, she
-will be the best wife to you that man ever had. If you do not—well,
-there is no knowing what she will do, but whatever it is, it will
-surprise you. I do not know whether hearts break nowadays as easily as
-they used to, and I am not prepared to state positively that Mamie’s
-heart would break under the circumstances. But if you do not treat her
-properly, she will make it pretty deuced hot for you, and by the
-Eternal, so will I, my boy. I like to put the thing in its proper
-light.”
-
-“You do,” laughed George, “with uncommon clearness. I am prepared to run
-all risks of that sort.”
-
-“Hope so,” returned Sherry Trimm, smoking thoughtfully. “Now then,
-George,” he resumed in a more confidential tone, after a short pause,
-“there is a little matter of business between you and me. We are old
-friends, and I might be your father in point of age, and now about to
-become your father-in-law in point of fact. How about the bread and
-butter? I have no intention of giving Mamie a fortune. No, no, I know
-you are aware of that, but there are material considerations, you know.
-Now, just give me an idea of how you propose to live.”
-
-“If I do not lose my health, we can live very comfortably,” George
-answered. “I think I can undertake to say that we should need no help.
-It would not be like this—like your way of living, of course. But we can
-have all we need and a certain amount of small luxury.”
-
-“Hum!” ejaculated Sherry Trimm in a doubting tone. “Not much luxury, I
-am afraid.”
-
-“A certain amount,” George answered quietly. “I have earned over ten
-thousand dollars during the last year and I have kept most of it.”
-
-“Really!” exclaimed the other. “I did not know that literature was such
-a good thing. But you may not always earn as much, next year, or the
-year after.”
-
-“That is unlikely, unless I break down. I do not know why that should
-happen to me.”
-
-“You do not look like it,” said Sherry, eyeing George’s spare and
-vigorous frame, and his clear, brown skin.
-
-“I do not feel like it,” said George.
-
-“Well, look here. I will tell you what I will do. I have my own reasons
-for not giving you a house just now. But I will give Mamie just half as
-much as you make, right along. I suppose that is fair. I need not tell
-you that she will have everything some day.”
-
-“You may give Mamie anything you like,” George answered indifferently.
-“I shall never ask questions. If I fall ill and cannot work for a long
-time together, you will have to support her, and my father will support
-me.”
-
-“I daresay we could spare you a crust, my boy,” said Sherrington Trimm,
-laying his small hand upon George’s broad, bony shoulder and pushing him
-along. “I do not want to keep you any longer, if you have anything to
-do.”
-
-George sauntered away in the direction of the garden, and Sherry Trimm
-went indoors to find his wife. Totty met him in the drawing-room, having
-just returned from a secret interview with her cook, in the interests of
-Sherry’s first dinner at home.
-
-“Totty, look here,” he said, selecting a comfortable chair and sitting
-down. He leaned back, crossed his legs, raised his hands and set them
-together, thumb to thumb and finger to finger, but said nothing more.
-
-“I am looking,” said Totty with a sweet smile. She seated herself beside
-him. “I have already looked. You are wonderfully better—I am so glad.”
-
-“Yes. Those waters have screwed me up a peg. But that is not what I
-mean. When I say, look here, I mean to suggest that you should
-concentrate your gigantic intellect upon the consideration of the matter
-in hand. You have made this match, and you are responsible for it. Will
-you tell me why you have made it?”
-
-“How do you mean that I have made it?” asked Totty evasively.
-
-“Innocence, thy name is Charlotte!” exclaimed Sherry, looking at the
-ceiling. “You brought George here, you knew that Mamie liked him and
-that he would like her, not on the first day, nor on the second, but
-inevitably on the third or fourth. You knew that on the fifth day they
-would love each other, that they would tell each other so on the sixth,
-and that the seventh day, being one of rest, would be devoted to
-obtaining our consent. You knew also that George was, and is, a
-penniless author—I admit that he earns a good deal—and yet you have done
-all in your power to make Mamie marry him. The fact that I like him has
-nothing to do with it.”
-
-“Nothing to do with it! Oh, Sherry, how can you say such things!”
-
-“Nothing whatever. I would have liked lots of other young fellows just
-as well. What especial reason had you for selecting this particular
-young fellow? That is what I want to get at.”
-
-“Oh, is that all? Mamie loved him, my dear. I knew it long ago, and as I
-knew that you would not disapprove, I brought him here. It is not a
-question of money. We have more than we can ever need. It is not as if
-we had two or three sons to start in the world, Sherry.”
-
-She lent an intonation of sadness to the last words, which, as she was
-aware, always produced the same effect upon her husband. He had bitterly
-regretted having no son to bear his honourable name.
-
-“That is just it,” he answered sadly. “Mamie is everything, and
-everything is for her. That is the reason why we should be careful. She
-is not like a great many girls. She has a heart and she will break it,
-if she is not happy.”
-
-“That is the very reason. You do not seem to realise that she is madly
-in love.”
-
-“No doubt, but was she madly in love, as you call it, when you brought
-them here?”
-
-“Long before that——”
-
-“Then why did you never tell me—we might have had him to the house all
-the time——”
-
-“Because I supposed, as every one else did, that he meant to marry
-Constance Fearing. I did not want to spoil his life, and I thought that
-Mamie would get over it. But the thing came to nothing. In fact, I begin
-to believe that there never was anything in it, and that the story was
-all idle gossip from beginning to end. He is on as good terms as ever
-with her and goes over there from time to time to console poor Grace.”
-
-“Oh!” ejaculated Sherry in a thoughtful tone.
-
-“You need not say ‘oh,’ like that. There is nothing to be afraid of. It
-is perfectly natural that the poor woman should like to see him, when he
-nearly died in trying to save her husband. They say she is in a dreadful
-state, half mad, and ill, and so changed!”
-
-“Poor John!” exclaimed Sherry sadly. “I shall never see his like again.”
-He sighed, for he had been very fond of the man, besides looking upon
-him as a most promising partner in his law business.
-
-“It was dreadful!” Mrs. Trimm shuddered as she thought of the accident.
-“I cannot bear to talk about it,” she added.
-
-A short pause followed, during which Totty wore a very sad expression,
-and Sherry examined attentively a ring he wore upon his finger, in which
-a dark sapphire was set between two very white diamonds.
-
-“There is one thing,” he said suddenly. “The sooner we pull up stakes
-the better. I do not propose to spend the best part of my life in the
-cars. The weather is cool and we will go back to town. So pack up your
-traps, Totty, and let us be off. Have you written to Tom?”
-
-“No,” said Totty. “I would not announce the engagement till we were
-settled in town.”
-
-Sherrington Trimm departed on the following morning, alleging with truth
-that the business could not be allowed to go to pieces. Totty and the
-two young people were to return two or three days later, and active
-preparations were at once made for moving. Totty, indeed, could not bear
-the idea of allowing her husband to remain alone in New York. It was
-possible that at any moment he might discover that the will was missing
-from her brother’s box. She might indeed have been spared much anxiety
-in this matter had she known that although Sherry had sealed and marked
-the document himself, it was not he who had placed it in the receptacle
-where it had been found by his wife. Sherry had handed it across the
-table to John Bond, telling him to put it in Craik’s deed-box, and had
-seen John leave the room with it, but had never seen it since. It was
-not, indeed, until much later that he had communicated to his partner
-the contents of the paper. If it could not now be found, Sherry would
-suppose that John had accidentally put it into the wrong box and a
-general search would be made. Then it would be thought that John had
-mislaid it. In any case poor John was dead and could not defend himself.
-Sherry would go directly to Tom Craik and get him to sign a duplicate,
-but he would never, under any conceivable combination of circumstances,
-connect his wife with the disappearance of the will, nor mention the
-fact in her presence. Totty, however, was ignorant of these facts, and
-lived in the constant fear of being obliged to explain matters to her
-husband. Though she had thought much of the matter she had not hit upon
-any expedient for restoring the document to its place. She kept it in a
-small Indian cabinet which her brother had once given her, in which
-there was a hidden drawer of which no one knew the secret but herself.
-This cabinet she had brought with her and had kept all through the
-summer in a prominent place in the drawing-room, justly deeming that
-things are generally most safely hidden when placed in the most exposed
-position, where no one would ever think of looking for them. On
-returning to New York the cabinet was again packed in one of Totty’s own
-boxes, but the will was temporarily concealed about her person, to be
-restored to its hiding-place as soon as she reached the town house.
-
-Before leaving the neighbourhood George felt that it was his duty to
-apprise Constance and her sister of his departure, but he avoided the
-necessity of making a visit by writing a letter to Grace. It seemed to
-him more fitting that he should address his note to her rather than to
-her sister, considering all that had happened. He urged that both should
-return to New York before the winter began, and he inserted a civil
-message for Constance before he concluded.
-
-Mamie took an affectionate leave of the place in which she had been so
-happy. During the last hours of the day preceding their return to town,
-George never left her side, while she wandered through the walks of the
-garden and beneath the beautiful trees, back to the house, in and out of
-the rooms, then lingered again upon the verandah and gazed at the
-distant river. He watched the movements of her faultless figure as she
-sat down for the last time in the places where they had so often sat
-together, then rose quickly, and, linking her arm in his, led him away
-to some other well-remembered spot.
-
-“I have been so happy here!” she said for the hundredth time.
-
-“You shall be as happy in other places, if I can make you so,” George
-answered.
-
-“Shall we? Shall I?” she asked, looking up into his face. “Who can tell!
-One is never so sure of the future as one is of the past—and the
-present. Shall we take it all with us to our little house in New York?
-How funny it will seem to be living all alone with you in a little
-house! I shall not give you champagne every day, George. You need not
-expect it! It will be a very little house, and I shall do all the work.”
-
-“If you will allow me to black the boots, I shall be most happy,” said
-George. “I know how.”
-
-“Imagine! You, blacking boots!” exclaimed Mamie indignantly.
-
-“Why not? But seriously, we can do a great deal more than you
-fancy—provided, as you say, that we do not go in for champagne every
-day, and keep horses and all that.”
-
-“I think we shall have more champagne and horses than other things,”
-Mamie answered with a laugh. “Mamma is going to keep a carriage for me,
-as well as my dear old riding horse, and papa told me not to let you buy
-any wine, because there was some of that particular kind you like on the
-way out. Between you and me, I do not think they really expect us to be
-in the least economical, though mamma is always talking about it.”
-
-She was very happy and it was impossible for her to cloud the future by
-the idea of being deprived of any of the luxury to which she had always
-been accustomed. She knew in her heart that she was both willing and
-able to undergo any privation for George’s sake, but it would have been
-unlike her to talk of what she would or could do when there was no
-immediate prospect of doing it. Her chief thought was to make her
-husband’s house comfortable, and if she knew something of the art from
-having watched her mother, she knew also that comfort, as she understood
-it, required a very free use of money. George knew it, too, since he had
-been brought up in luxury and had been deprived of it at the age when
-such things are most keenly felt. The terrible, noiseless, hourly
-expenditure that he had seen in Totty’s house made the exiguity of his
-own resources particularly apparent to his judgment.
-
-“Good-bye, dear old place!” cried the young girl, as they stood on the
-verandah at dusk, before going in to dress for dinner. She threw kisses
-with her fingers at the garden and at the trees.
-
-George stood by her side in silence, gazing out at the dim outline of
-the distant hills beyond the river.
-
-“Are you not sorry to leave it all?” Mamie asked.
-
-“Very sorry,” he answered, as though not knowing what he said. Then he
-stooped, and kissed her small white face, and they both went in.
-
-That night George sat up late in his room, looking over the manuscript
-that had grown under his hand during the summer months. It was all but
-finished and he intended to write the last chapter in New York, but it
-interested him to look through it before leaving the surroundings in
-which it had been written. What most struck him in the work was the care
-with which it was done. It was not a very imaginative book, but it was
-remarkable for its truth and clearness of style. He wondered at the
-coldness of certain scenes, which in his first conception of the story
-had promised to be the most dramatic. He wondered still more at the
-success with which he had handled points which in themselves seemed to
-be far from attractive to the novelist. His conversations were better
-than they had formerly been, but the love scenes were unsatisfactory,
-and he determined that he would re-write some of them. The whole book
-looked too truthful and too little enthusiastic to him, now, though he
-fancied that he had passed through moments of enthusiasm while he was
-writing it. On the whole, it was a disappointment to himself, and he
-believed that others would be disappointed likewise. He asked himself
-what Johnson would think of it, and made up his mind to abide by his
-opinion. Vaguely too, as one sometimes longs to see again a book once
-read, he wished that he might have Constance’s criticism and advice,
-though he was conscious at the same time that it was not the sort of
-story she would have liked.
-
-Two days later, he found himself once more in his little room in his
-father’s house. The old gentleman received the news of the engagement in
-silence. He had guessed that matters would terminate as they had, and
-the prospect had given him little satisfaction. He thought that the
-alliance would probably cut him off from his son’s society, and he was
-inwardly hurt that George should seem indifferent to the fact. But he
-said nothing. From the worldly point of view the marriage was a
-brilliant one, and it meant that George must ultimately be a rich man.
-His future at least was provided for.
-
-George found Johnson hard at work, as usual, and if possible paler and
-more in earnest than before. He had taken a week’s holiday during the
-hottest part of the summer, but with that exception had never relaxed in
-his astounding industry since they had last met.
-
-“How particularly sleek you look,” he said, scrutinising George’s face
-as the latter sat down.
-
-“I feel sleek,” George answered with a slight laugh. “I believe that is
-what is the matter with the book I have been writing since I saw you. I
-am not satisfied with it, and I want your opinion. I sat up all last
-night to write the last chapter in my old den. I think it is better than
-the rest.”
-
-“That is a pity. It will look like a new silk hat on a beggar—or like a
-wig on a soup-tureen, as the Frenchmen say. But I daresay you are quite
-wrong about the rest of it. You generally are. For a man who can write a
-good story in good English when he tries, you have as little confidence
-as I ever saw in any one. The public does not write books and does not
-know how they are written. It will never find out that you wrote the
-beginning in clover and the end in nettles.”
-
-“Oh—the public!” exclaimed George. “One never knows what it will do.”
-
-“One may guess, sometimes. The public consists of a vast collection of
-individuals collected in a crowd around the feet of four great beasts.
-There is the ignorant beast and the learned beast, the virtuous beast
-and the vicious beast. They are all four beasts in their way, because
-they all represent an immense accumulation of prejudice, in four
-different directions and having four different followings, all pulling
-different ways. You cannot possibly please them all and it is quite
-useless to try.”
-
-“I suppose you mean that the four beasts are the four kinds of critics.
-Is that it?”
-
-“No,” Johnson answered. “That is not it at all. If we critics had more
-real influence with the public, the public would be all the better for
-it. As it is, the real critic is dying out, because the public will not
-pay enough to keep him alive. It is sad, but I suppose it is natural.
-This is the age of free thought, and the phrase, if you interpret it as
-most people do, means that all men are to consider themselves critics,
-whether they know anything or not. Have you brought your manuscript with
-you?”
-
-“No. I wanted to ask first whether you would read it.”
-
-“You need not be so humble, now that you are a celebrity,” said Johnson
-with a laugh. “You do not look the part, either. What has happened to
-you?”
-
-“I am going to be married,” George answered. “I am to marry my cousin,
-Miss Trimm.”
-
-“Not Sherrington Trimm’s daughter!”
-
-“The same, if it please you.”
-
-“I congratulate you on leaving the literary career,” said Johnson with a
-sardonic smile. “I suppose you will never do another stroke of work.
-Well—it is a pity.”
-
-“I have to work for my living as I have done for years,” George
-answered. “Do you imagine that I would live upon other people’s money?”
-
-“Do you really mean to go on working?”
-
-“Of course I do, as long as I can hold a pen. I should if I were rich in
-my own right, for love of the thing.”
-
-“Love of the thing is not enough. Are you ambitious?”
-
-“I do not know. I never thought about it. To me, the question is whether
-a thing is well done or not, for its own sake. The success of it means
-money, which I need, but apart from that I do not think I care very much
-about it. I may be mistaken. I value your opinion, for instance, and if
-I knew other men like you, I should value theirs.”
-
-“You will never succeed to any extent without ambition,” Johnson
-answered with great energy. “It is everything in literature. You must
-feel that you will go mad if you are not first, if you are not
-acknowledged to be better than any one else during your lifetime. You
-must make people understand that you are a dangerous rival, and you must
-have the daily satisfaction of knowing that they feel it. Literature is
-like the storming of a redoubt, you must climb upon the bodies of the
-slain and be the first to plant your flag on the top. You must lie awake
-all night, and torment yourself all day to find some means of doing a
-thing better than other people. To be first, always, all your life,
-without fear of competition, to be Cæsar or to be nothing! I wish I
-could make you feel what I feel!”
-
-“I think I would rather not,” said George. “It must be very disturbing
-to the judgment to be always comparing oneself with others instead of
-trying to do the best one can in an independent way.”
-
-“You will never succeed without ambition,” Johnson repeated confidently.
-
-“Then I am afraid I shall never succeed at all, for I have not a spark
-of that sort of ambition. I do not care a straw for being thought better
-than any one else, nor for being a celebrity. I want to satisfy myself,
-my own idea of what is a good book, and I am afraid I never shall. I
-suppose that is a sort of ambition too.”
-
-“It is not the right sort.”
-
-George knew his friend very well and was familiar with most of his
-ideas. He respected his character, and he valued his opinion more than
-that of any man in his acquaintance, but he could never accept his
-theories as infallible. He felt that if he ever succeeded in writing a
-book that pleased him he would recognise its merits sooner than any one,
-and but for the necessity of earning a livelihood he would have
-systematically destroyed all his writings until he had attained a
-satisfactory result. That a certain amount of reputation might be gained
-by publishing what he regarded as incomplete or inartistic work was to
-him a matter of indifference, except for the material advantages which
-resulted from the transaction. Such, at least, was his belief about
-himself. That he was able to appreciate flattery when it was of a good
-and subtle quality, only showed him that he was human, but did not
-improve his own estimation of his productions.
-
-A week later, Johnson returned the manuscript with a note in which he
-gave his opinion of it.
-
-“It will sell,” he wrote. “You are quite mistaken about yourself, as
-usual. You told me the other day that you had no ambition. Your book
-proves that you have. You have taken the subject treated by Wiggins in
-his last great novel. It made a sensation, but in my opinion you have
-handled it better than he did, though he is called a great novelist. It
-was a very ambitious thing to do, and it is wonderful that, while taking
-a precisely similar situation, there should not be a word in your work
-that recalls his. After this, do not tell me that you have no ambition,
-for it is sheer nonsense. As for the last chapter, I should not have
-known that it was not written under the same circumstances as all the
-rest.”
-
-George laughed aloud to himself. He knew the name of Wiggins well
-enough, but he had never read one of the celebrated author’s books, and
-if he had he would assuredly not have taken his plot.
-
-“But Johnson could not know that,” he said to himself, “and I have
-written just such stuff about other people.”
-
-The book went to the publisher and he thought no more of it. During the
-time that followed, his days were very fully occupied. Between making
-the necessary preparations for his approaching marriage, and the
-pleasant duty of spending a certain number of hours with Mamie every
-day, he had very little time to call his own, although nothing of any
-importance happened to vary the course of his life. At the beginning of
-November Constance Fearing and her sister returned to town, and at about
-the same time he was informed by Sherrington Trimm that it would be
-necessary for him to visit Mr. Thomas Craik, as he was about to become
-that gentleman’s nephew by marriage.
-
-“Of course, I know all about the old story, George,” said Sherry. “But
-if I were you I would at least try and be civil. The fact is, I have
-reason to know that he is haunted by a sort of half-stagey, half-honest
-remorse for what he did, and he is very much pleased with the marriage,
-besides being a great admirer of your books.”
-
-“All right,” said George, “I will be civil enough.”
-
-Sherry Trimm had conveyed exactly the impression which he had desired to
-convey. He had made George believe by his manner that he was himself
-anxious to keep his relations with Mr. Craik on a pleasant footing,
-doubtless on account of the money, and he had effectually deterred
-George from quarrelling with his unknown benefactor, while he had kept
-the question of the will as closely secret as ever.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXV.
-
-
-George had never been inside Mr. Craik’s house, and the first impression
-made upon him by the sight of the old gentleman’s collected spoil was a
-singular one. The sight of beautiful objects had always given him
-pleasure, but, on the other hand, his mind resented and abhorred alike
-disorder and senseless profusion. He had no touch in his composition of
-that modern taste which delights in producing a certain tone of colour
-in a room, by filling it with all sorts of heterogeneous and useless
-articles, of all periods and collected out of all countries. It was not
-sufficient in his eyes that an object should be of great value, or of
-great beauty, or that it should possess both at once; it was necessary
-also that it should be so placed as to acquire a right to its position
-and to its surroundings. A Turkish tile, a Spanish-Moorish dish, an
-Italian embroidery and an old picture might harmonise very well with
-each other in colour and in general effect, but George Wood’s
-uncultivated taste failed to see why they should all be placed together,
-side by side upon the same wall, any more than why a periwig should be
-set upon a soup-tureen, as Johnson had remarked. He felt from the moment
-he entered the house as if he were in a bazaar of bric-à-brac, where
-everything was put up for sale, and in which each object must have
-somewhere a label tied or pasted to it, upon which letters and figures
-mysteriously shadowed forth its variable price to the purchaser while
-accurately defining its value to the vendor.
-
-It must not be supposed, however, that because George Wood did not like
-the look of the room in which he found himself, it would not have been
-admired and appreciated by many persons of unquestioned good taste. The
-value there accumulated was very great, there was much that was
-exceedingly rare and of exquisite design and workmanship, and the
-vulgarity of the effect, if there were any, was of the more subtle and
-tolerable kind.
-
-George stood in the midst of the chamber, hat in hand, waiting for the
-owner of the collection to appear. A door made of panels of thin
-alabaster set in rich old gilt carvings, was opposite to him, and he was
-wondering whether the light actually penetrated the delicate marble as
-it seemed to do, when the chiselled handle turned and the door itself
-moved noiselessly on its hinges. Thomas Craik entered the room.
-
-The old gentleman’s head seemed to have fallen forward upon his
-shoulders, so that he was obliged to look sideways and upwards in order
-to see anything above the level of his eyes. Otherwise he did not
-present so decrepit an appearance as George had expected. His step was
-sufficiently brisk, and though his voice was little better than a growl,
-it was not by any means weak. He was clothed in light-coloured tweed
-garments of the newest cut, and he wore a red tie, and shoes of
-varnished leather. The corner of a pink silk handkerchief was just
-visible above the outer pocket of his coat, and he emanated a perfume
-which seemed to be combined out of Cologne water and Russian leather.
-
-“Official visit, eh?” he said with an attempt at a pleasant smile. “Glad
-to see you. Sorry you have waited so long before coming. Take a seat.”
-
-“Thanks,” answered George, sitting down. “I am glad to see that you are
-quite yourself again, Mr. Craik.”
-
-“Quite myself, eh? Never was anybody else long enough to know what it
-felt like. But I have not forgotten that you came to ask—no, no, I
-remember that. Going to marry Mamie, eh? Glad to hear it. Well, well.”
-
-Thomas Craik rubbed his emaciated hands slowly together and looked
-sideways at his visitor.
-
-“Yes,” said George, “I am going to marry Miss Trimm——”
-
-“Call her Mamie, call her Mamie—own niece of mine, you know. No use
-standing on ceremony.”
-
-“I think it is as well to call her Miss Trimm until we are married,”
-George observed, rather coldly.
-
-“Oh, you think so, do you? Well, well. Not to her face, I hope?”
-
-George thought that Mr. Craik was one of the most particularly odious
-old gentlemen he had ever met. He changed the subject as quickly as he
-could.
-
-“What a wonderful collection of beautiful things you have, Mr. Craik,”
-he said, glancing at a set of Urbino dishes that were fastened against
-the wall nearest to him.
-
-“Something, something,” replied Mr. Craik, modestly. “Fond of pretty
-things? Understand majolica?”
-
-“I am very fond of pretty things, but I know nothing about majolica. I
-believe the subject needs immense study. They say you are a great
-authority on all these things.”
-
-“Oh, they say so, do they? Well, well. Books are more in your line, eh?
-Some in the other room if you like to see them. Come?”
-
-“Yes indeed!” George answered with alacrity. He thought that if he must
-sustain the conversation for five minutes longer, it would be a relief
-to be among things he understood. Tom Craik rose and led the way through
-the alabaster door by which he had entered. George found himself in a
-spacious apartment, consisting of two rooms which had been thrown into
-one by building an arch in the place of the former wall of division.
-There were no windows, but each division was lighted by a large skylight
-of stained glass, supported on old Bohemian iron-work. To the height of
-six feet from the floor, the walls were lined with bookcases, the books
-being protected by glass. Above these the walls were completely covered
-with tapestries, stuffs, weapons, old plates and similar objects.
-
-“Favourite room of mine,” remarked Mr. Craik, backing up to the great
-wood fire, and looking about him with side glances, first to the right
-and then to the left. “Look about you, look about you. A lot of books in
-those shelves, eh? Well, well. About three thousand. Not many but good
-and good, as books should be, inside and out. Eh? Like that?”
-
-“Yes,” said George, moving slowly round the room, stooping and then
-standing erect, as he glanced rapidly at the titles of the long rows of
-volumes. The born man of letters warmed at the sight of the familiar
-names and felt less inimically inclined towards the master of the house.
-
-“I envy you such books to read and such a place in which to read them,”
-he said at last.
-
-“I believe you do,” answered Mr. Craik, looking pleased. “You look as if
-you did. Well, well. May be all yours some day.”
-
-“How so?” George inquired, growing suddenly cold and looking sharply at
-the old man.
-
-“May leave everything to Totty. Totty may leave everything to Mamie.
-Fact is, any station may be the last. May have to hand in my checks at
-any time. Funny world, isn’t it? Eh?”
-
-“A very humorous and comic world, as you say,” George answered, looking
-at the old man with a rather scornful twist of his naturally scornful
-mouth.
-
-“Humorous and comic? I say, funny. It’s shorter. What would you do if
-you owned this house?”
-
-“I would sell it,” George answered with a dry laugh, “sell it, except
-the books, and live on the interest of the proceeds.”
-
-“And you would do a very sensible thing, Mr. George Winton Wood,”
-returned Tom Craik approvingly. All at once he dropped his detached
-manner of speaking and grew eloquent. “You would be doing a very
-sensible thing. A man of your age can have no manner of use for all this
-rubbish. If you ever mean to be a collector, reserve that expensive
-taste for the time when you have plenty of money, but can neither eat,
-drink, sleep, make love nor be merry in any way—no, nor write novels
-either. The pleasure does not consist in possessing things, it lies in
-finding them, bargaining for them, fighting for them and ultimately
-getting them. It is the same with money, but there is more variety in
-collecting, to my mind, at least. It is the same with everything, money,
-love, politics, collecting, it is only the fighting for what you want
-that is agreeably exciting. It has kept me alive, with my wretched
-constitution, when the doctors have been thinking of sending for the
-person in black who carries a tape measure. I never had any ambition. I
-never cared for anything but the fighting. I never cared to be first,
-second or third. I do not believe that your ambitious man ever succeeds
-in life. He thinks so much about himself that he forgets what he is
-fighting for. You can easily make a fool of an ambitious man by offering
-him a bait, and you may take the thing you want while he is chasing the
-phantom of glory on the other side of the house. I hope you are not
-ambitious. You have begun as if you were not, and you have knocked all
-the stuffing out of the rag dolls the critics put up to frighten young
-authors. I have read a good deal in my day, and I have seen a good deal,
-and I have taken a great many things I have wanted. I know men, and I
-know something about books. You ought to succeed, for you go about your
-work as though you liked it for the sake of overcoming difficulties, for
-the sake of fighting your subject and getting the better of it. Stick to
-that principle. It prolongs life. Pick out the hardest thing there is to
-be done, and go at it, hammer and tongs, by hook or by crook, by fair
-means or foul. If you cannot do it, after all, nobody need be the wiser;
-if you succeed every one will cry out in admiration of your industry and
-genius, when you have really only been amusing yourself all the
-time—because nothing can be more amusing than fighting. You are quite
-right. Ambition is nonsense and the satisfaction of possession is bosh.
-The only pleasure is in doing and getting. If, in the inscrutable ways
-of destiny, you ever own this house, sell it, and when you are old, and
-crooked, and cannot write any more, and people think you are a
-drivelling idiot and are sitting in rows outside your door, waiting for
-dead men’s shoes—why then, you can prolong your life by collecting
-something, as I have done. The desire to get the better of a Jew dealer
-in a bargain for a Maestro Georgio, or the determination to find the
-edition which has been heard of but never seen, will make your blood
-circulate and your heart beat, and your brain work. I have half a mind
-to sell the whole thing myself for the sake of doing it all over again,
-and keeping somebody waiting ten years longer for the money. I might
-last ten years more if I could hit upon something new to collect.”
-
-The old man ceased speaking and looked up sideways at George, with a
-keen smile, very unlike the expression he assumed when he meant to be
-agreeable. Then he relapsed into his usual way of talking, jerking out
-short sentences and generally omitting the subject or the verb, when he
-did not omit both. It is possible that he had delivered his oration for
-the sake of showing George that he could speak English as well as any
-one when he chose to do so.
-
-“Like my little speech? Eh?” he inquired.
-
-“I shall not forget it,” George answered. “Your ideas cannot be accused
-of being stale or old fashioned, whatever else may be said of them.”
-
-“Put them into a book, will you? Well, well. Daresay printer’s ink has
-been wasted on worse—sometimes.”
-
-George did not care to prolong his visit beyond the bounds of strict
-civility, though he had been somewhat diverted by his relation’s talk.
-He asked a few questions about the books and discovered that Tom Craik
-was by no means the unreading edition-hunter he had supposed him to be.
-If he had not read all the three thousand choice volumes he possessed,
-he had at least a very clear idea of the contents of most of them.
-
-“Buying an author and not reading him,” he said, “is like buying a pig
-in a poke and then not even looking at the pig afterwards. Eh?”
-
-“Very like,” George answered with a short laugh. Then he took his leave.
-The old man went with him as far as the door that led out of the room in
-which they had first met.
-
-“Come again,” he said. “Rather afraid of draughts, so I leave you here.
-Good day to you.”
-
-George took the thin hand that was thrust out at him and shook it with
-somewhat less repulsion that he had felt a quarter of an hour earlier.
-The sight of the books had softened his heart a little, as it often
-softens the enmities of literary men when they least expect it. He
-turned away and left the house, wondering whether, after all, old Tom
-Craik had not been judged more harshly than he deserved. The man of
-letters is slow to anger against those who show any genuine fondness for
-his profession.
-
-He walked down the avenue, thinking over what he had seen and heard. It
-chanced that after walking some time he stepped aside to allow certain
-ladies to pass him and on looking round saw that he was in the door of
-Mr. Popples’s establishment. A thought struck him and he went in.
-
-“Mr. Popples——”
-
-“Good morning, Mr. Winton Wood——” Mr. Popples thought that the two names
-sounded better together.
-
-“Good morning, Mr. Popples. I want to ask you a confidential question.”
-George laughed a little.
-
-“Anything, Mr. Winton Wood. Something in regard to the sales, no doubt.
-Well, in point of fact, sir, it is just as well to ask now and then how
-a book is going, just for the sake of checking the statement as we say,
-though I will say that Rob Roy and Company——”
-
-“No, no,” George interrupted with a second laugh. “They treat me very
-well. You know Mr. Craik, do you not?”
-
-“Mr. Craik!” exclaimed the bookseller, with a beaming smile. “Why, dear
-me! Mr. Craik is your first cousin once removed, Mr. Winton Wood! Of
-course I know him.” He prided himself on knowing the exact degree of
-relationship existing between his different customers, which was
-equivalent to knowing by heart the genealogy of all New York society.
-
-“You are a subtle flatterer,” George answered. “You pretend to know him
-only because he is my cousin.”
-
-“A great collector,” returned the other, drawing down the corners of his
-mouth and turning up his eyes as though he were contemplating an object
-of solemn beauty. “A great collector! He knows what a book is, old or
-new. He knows, he knows—oh yes, he knows very well.”
-
-“What I want to know is this,” said George. “Does Mr. Craik buy my books
-or not? Do you happen to remember?”
-
-“Well, Mr. Winton Wood,” answered Mr. Popples, “the fact is, I do happen
-to remember, by the merest chance. The fact is, to be honest, quite
-honest, Mr. Craik does not buy your books. But he reads them.”
-
-“Borrows them, I suppose,” observed George.
-
-“Well, not that, exactly, either. The fact is,” said the bookseller,
-lowering his voice to a confidential whisper, “Mrs. Sherrington Trimm
-buys them and sends them to him. He buys mostly valuable books,” he
-added, as though apologising for Mr. Craik’s stinginess.
-
-“Thank you, Mr. Popples,” said George, laughing for the third time, and
-turning away.
-
-“Oh, not at all, Mr. Winton Wood. Anything, anything. Walking this
-mor——”
-
-But George was already out of the shop and the bookseller did not take
-the trouble to pronounce the last syllable, as he readjusted his large
-spectacles and took up three or four volumes that lay on the edge of the
-table.
-
-“It cannot be said,” George thought, as he walked on, “that I am very
-much indebted to Mr. Thomas Craik—not even for ten per cent on one
-dollar and twenty-five.”
-
-George would have been very much surprised to learn that the man who
-would not spend a dollar and a quarter in purchasing one of his novels
-had left him everything he possessed, and that the document which was to
-prove his right was reposing in that Indian cabinet of Mrs. Trimm’s,
-which he had so often admired. It seemed as though Totty had planned
-everything to earn his gratitude, and he was especially pleased that she
-should have made her miserly brother read his books. It showed at once
-her own admiration for them and her desire that every one belonging to
-her should share in it.
-
-Having nothing especial to do until a later hour, George thought of
-going to see Constance and Grace. They had only been in town two days,
-but he was curious to know whether Mrs. Bond had begun to look like
-herself again, or was becoming more and more absorbed in her sorrow as
-time went on. He had not been to the house in Washington Square since
-the first of May, and so many events had occurred in his life since that
-date that he felt as though he were separated from it by an interval of
-years instead of months. The time had passed very quickly. It would soon
-be three years since he had first gone up those steps with his cousin
-one afternoon in the late winter. As he approached the familiar door, he
-thought of all that had happened in the time, and he was amazed to find
-how he had changed. Six months earlier he had descended those steps with
-the certainty that the better and sweeter part of his life was behind
-him, and that his happiness had been destroyed by a woman’s caprice. It
-had been a rough lesson but he had survived the ordeal and was now a far
-happier man than he had been then. In the flush of success, he was
-engaged to marry a young girl who loved him with all her heart, and whom
-he loved as well as he could. The world was before him now, as it had
-not been then, when he had felt himself dependent for his inspiration
-upon Constance’s attachment, and for the help he needed upon his daily
-converse with her. If his heart was not satisfied as he had once dreamed
-that it might be, his hopes were raised by the experience of
-self-reliance. It had once seemed bitter to work alone; he had now
-ceased to desire any companionship in his labours. Mamie was to be his
-wife, not his adviser. She was to look up to him, and he must make
-himself worthy of her trust as well as of her admiration. He would work
-for her, labour to make her happy, to the extreme extent of his
-strength, and he would be proud of the part he would play. She would be
-the mother of children, graceful and charming as herself, or angular,
-tough and hardworking as he was, and he and she would love them. But
-there the relation was to cease, and he was glad of it. He owed much to
-Constance, and was ready to acknowledge the whole debt, but neither
-Constance herself, nor any other woman could take the same place in his
-life again. Least of all, she herself, he thought, as he rang the bell
-of her house and waited for admittance. In the old days his heart used
-to beat faster than its wont before he was fairly within the precincts
-of the Square. Now he was as unconscious of any emotion as though he
-were standing before his own door.
-
-Grace received him alone in the old familiar drawing-room. She happened
-to be sitting in the place Constance used to choose when George came to
-see her, and he took his accustomed seat, almost unconscious of the
-associations it had once had for him.
-
-“Constance is gone out,” Grace began. “I am sure she will be sorry. It
-is kind of you to come so soon.”
-
-“You are no better,” George answered, looking at her, and not heeding
-her remark. “I had hoped that you might be, but your expression is the
-same. Why do you not go abroad, and make some great change in your
-life?”
-
-“I am very well,” Grace replied with a faint smile which only increased
-the sadness of her look. “I do not care to go away. Why should I? It
-could make no difference.”
-
-“But it would. It would make all the difference in the world. Your
-sorrow is in everything, in all you see, in all you hear, in every
-familiar impression of your life—even in me and the sight of me.”
-
-“You are mistaken. It is here.” She pressed her hand to her breast with
-a gesture almost fierce, and fixed her deep brown eyes on George’s face
-for an instant. Then she let her arm fall beside her and looked away.
-“The worst of it is that I am so strong,” she added presently. “I shall
-never break down. I shall live to be an old woman.”
-
-“Yes,” George answered, thoughtfully, “I believe that you will. I can
-understand that. I fancy that you and I are somewhat alike. There are
-people who are unhappy, and who fade away and go out like a lamp without
-oil. They are said to die of broken hearts though they have not felt
-half as much happiness or sorrow as some tougher man and woman who live
-through a lifetime of despair and disappointment.”
-
-“Are you very happy?” Grace asked rather suddenly.
-
-“Yes, I am very happy. I suppose I have reason to be. Everything has
-gone well with me of late. I have had plenty of success with what I have
-done, I am engaged to be married——”
-
-“That is what I mean,” said Grace, interrupting him. “Are you happy in
-that? I suppose I have no right to ask such a question, but I cannot
-help asking it. You ought to be, for you two are very well matched. Do
-you know? It is a very fortunate thing that Constance refused you. You
-did not really love her any more than she loved you.”
-
-“What makes you say that?”
-
-“If you were really in love, your love died a rather easy death. That is
-all.”
-
-“That is true,” George answered, smiling in spite of himself.
-
-“Do you remember the first of May as well as you did three months ago?
-Perhaps. I do not say that you have forgotten it altogether. When I told
-you her decision, you did not act like a man who has received a terrible
-blow. You were furiously, outrageously angry. You wished that I had been
-a man, that you might have struck me.”
-
-“I believed that I had cause to be angry. Besides, I have extraordinary
-natural gifts in that direction.”
-
-“Of course you had cause. But if you had loved her—as some people
-love—you would have forgotten to be angry for once in your life and you
-would have behaved very differently.”
-
-“I daresay you are right. As I came here to-day I was thinking over it
-all. You know I have not been here since that day. In old times I could
-feel my heart beating faster as I came near the house, and when I rang
-the bell my hand used to tremble. To-day I walked here as coolly as
-though I had been going home, and when I was at the door I was much more
-concerned to know whether you were better than to know whether your
-sister was in the house or not. Such is the unstability of the human
-heart.”
-
-“Yes—when there is no real love in it,” Grace answered. “And the
-strongest proof that there was none in yours is that you are willing to
-own it. What made you think that you were so fond of her? How came you
-to make such a mistake?”
-
-“I cannot tell. I would not talk to any one else as I am talking to you.
-But we understand each other, she is your sister and you never believed
-in our marriage. It began very gradually. Any man would fall in love
-with her, if he had the chance. She was interested in me. She was kind
-to me, when I got little kindness from any one——”
-
-“And none at all from me, poor man!” interrupted Grace.
-
-“Especially none from you. It was she who always urged me to write a
-book, though I did not believe I could; it was to her that I read my
-first novel from beginning to end. It was she who seized upon it and got
-it published in spite of my protests—it was she who launched me and made
-my first success what it was. I owe her very much more than I could ever
-hope to repay, if I possessed any means of showing my gratitude. I loved
-her for her kindness and she liked me for my devotion—perhaps for my
-submission, for I was very submissive in those days. I had not learned
-to run alone, and if she would have had me I would have walked in her
-leading-strings to the end of my life.”
-
-“How touching!” exclaimed Grace, and the first genuine laughter of which
-she had been capable for three months followed the words.
-
-“No, do not laugh,” said George gravely. “I owe her everything and I
-know it. Most of all, I owe her the most loyal friendship and sincere
-gratitude that a man can feel for any woman he does not love. It is all
-over now. I never felt any emotion at meeting her since we parted after
-that abominable dinner-party, and I shall never feel any again. I am
-sure of that.”
-
-“I am sorry I laughed. I could not help it. But I am very glad that
-things have ended in this way, though, as I told you when I last saw
-you, I wish she would marry. She has grown to be the most listless,
-unhappy creature in the world.”
-
-“What can be the matter?” George asked. “Is it not the life you are
-leading together? You are so lonely.”
-
-“I came back on her account,” Grace answered wearily. “For my own sake I
-would never have left that dear place again. I have told her that I will
-do anything she pleases, go anywhere, live in any other way. It can make
-no difference to me. But she will not hear of leaving New York. I cannot
-mention it to her. She grows thinner every day.”
-
-“It is very strange. I am very sorry to hear it.”
-
-They talked together for some time longer and then George went away,
-inwardly wondering at his own conduct in having spoken of Constance so
-freely to her sister. It was not unnatural, however. Grace treated him
-as an old friend, and circumstances had suddenly brought the two into
-relations of close intimacy. As she had been chosen by Constance to
-convey the latter’s refusal, it might well be supposed that she was in
-her sister’s confidence, and George had said nothing which he was not
-willing that Grace should repeat. He had not been gone more than half an
-hour when Constance entered the room, looking pale and tired.
-
-“I have been everywhere to find a wedding present for the future Mrs.
-Wood,” she said, as she let herself sink down upon the sofa. “I can find
-nothing, positively nothing that will do.”
-
-“He has just been here,” said Grace indifferently.
-
-Constance changed colour and glanced quickly at her sister. She looked
-as though she had checked herself in the act of saying something which
-she might have regretted.
-
-“What did you talk about?” she asked quietly, after a moment’s pause. “I
-wish I had been here. I have not seen him since he came to announce his
-engagement.”
-
-“Yes. He was sorry to miss you, too. He was not particularly
-agreeable—considering how well he can talk when he tries. I am very fond
-of him now. I am sorry I misjudged him formerly, and I told him so
-before he came to town.”
-
-“You have discovered that you misjudged him, then,” said Constance, as
-calmly as she could.
-
-“Yes,” Grace answered with perfect unconcern. “I am always glad to see
-him. By-the-bye, we talked about you.”
-
-“About me?”
-
-“Yes. What is the matter? Is there any reason why we should not talk
-about you?”
-
-“Oh, none whatever—except that he loved me once.”
-
-“He said nothing but what was perfectly fair and friendly. I asked him
-if he was happy in the prospect of being married so soon, and then very
-naturally we spoke of you. He said that he owed you the most loyal
-friendship and sincere gratitude, that you had launched him in his
-career by sending his first novel to the publisher without his consent,
-that without you, he would not have been what he is—he said it seemed
-natural, on looking back, that he should have loved you, or thought that
-he loved you——”
-
-“Thought that he loved me?” Constance repeated in a low voice.
-
-“Yes. Considering how quickly he has recovered, his love can hardly have
-been much more sincere than yours. What is the matter, Conny dear? Are
-you ill?”
-
-Constance had hidden her face in the cushions and was sobbing bitterly,
-in the very place she had occupied when she had finally refused George
-Wood, and almost in the same attitude.
-
-“Oh Grace!” she moaned. “You will break my heart!”
-
-“Do you love him, now?” Grace asked in a voice that was suddenly hard.
-She had not had the least suspicion of the real state of the case.
-Constance nodded in answer, still sobbing and covering her face. Grace
-turned away in disgust.
-
-“What contemptible creatures we women can be!” she said in an undertone,
-as she crossed the room.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVI.
-
-
-George was in the habit of going to see Mamie every afternoon, and the
-hours he spent with her were by far the most pleasant in his day. Mrs.
-Trimm had thoroughly understood her daughter’s nature when she had told
-George that the girl possessed that sort of charm which never wearies
-men because they can never find out exactly where it lies. It was not
-easy to imagine that any one should be bored in Mamie’s society. George
-returned day after day, expecting always that he must ultimately find
-the continual conversation a burden, but reassured each time by what he
-felt after he had been twenty minutes in the house. As he was not
-profoundly moved himself it seemed unnatural that these long meetings
-should not at last become an irksome and uninteresting duty, the
-conscientious performance of which would react to the disadvantage of
-his subsequent happiness. The spontaneity which had given so much
-freshness to their intercourse while they were living under the same
-roof, was gone now that George found himself compelled to live by rules
-of consideration for others, and he was aware of the fact each time he
-entered Mamie’s presence. Nevertheless her manner and voice exercised
-such a fascination over him as made him forget after a quarter of an
-hour that he and she were no longer in the country, and that he was no
-longer free to see her or not see her, as he pleased, independently of
-all formality and custom. Nothing could have demonstrated Mamie’s
-superiority over most young women of her age more clearly than this
-fact. The situation of affianced couples after their engagement is
-announced is very generally hard to sustain with dignity on either side,
-but is more especially a difficult one for the man. It is undoubtedly
-rendered more easy by the enjoyment of the liberty granted among
-Anglo-Saxons in such cases. But that freedom is after all only a part of
-our whole system of ideas, and as we all expect it from the first, we do
-not realise that our position is any more fortunate than that of the
-young French gentleman, who is frequently not allowed to exchange a
-single word with his bride until he has been formally affianced to her,
-and who may not talk to her without the presence of a third person until
-she is actually his wife. Under our existing customs a young girl must
-be charming indeed if her future husband can talk with her three hours
-every day during six weeks or two months and go away each time feeling
-that his visit has been too short. Neither animated conversation nor
-frequent correspondence have any right to be considered as tests of
-love. Love is not to be measured by the fluent use of words, nor by an
-easy acquaintance with agreeable topics, nor yet by lavish expenditure
-in postage-stamps. George knew all this, and was moreover aware in his
-heart that there was nothing desperately passionate in his affection; he
-was the more surprised, therefore, to find that the more he saw of Mamie
-Trimm, the more he wished to see of her.
-
-“Do you think,” he said to her, on that same afternoon in November,
-“that all engaged couples enjoy their engagement as much as we do?”
-
-“I am sure they do not,” Mamie answered. “Nobody is half as nice as we
-are!”
-
-They were seated in a small boudoir that adjoined the drawing-room. The
-wide door was open and they could hear the pleasant crackling of the
-first wood fire that was burning in the larger room, though they could
-not see it. The air without was gloomy and grey, for the late Indian
-summer was over, and before long the first frosts would come and the
-first flakes of snow would be driven along the dry and windy streets. It
-was early in the afternoon, however, and though the light was cold and
-colourless and hard, there was plenty of it. Mamie was established in a
-short but very deep sofa, something resembling a divan, one small foot
-just touching the carpet, the other hidden from view, her head thrown
-back and resting against the tapestry upon the wall, one arm resting
-upon the end of the lounge, the little classic hand hanging over the
-edge, so near to George that he had but to put out his own in order to
-touch it. He was seated with his back to the door of the drawing-room,
-clasping his hands over one knee and leaning forward as he gazed at the
-window opposite. He smiled at Mamie’s answer.
-
-“No, I am sure other people do not enjoy sitting together and talking
-during half the day, as we do,” he said. “I have often thought so. It is
-you who make our life what it is. It will always be you, with your dear
-ways——”
-
-He stopped, seeking an expression which he could not find immediately.
-
-“Have I dear ways?” Mamie asked with a little laugh. “I never knew it
-before—but since you say so——”
-
-“It is only those who love us that know the best of us. We never know it
-ourselves.”
-
-“Do you love me, George?” The question was put to him for the thousandth
-time. To her it seemed always new and the answer was always full of
-interest, as though it had never been given before.
-
-“Very dearly.” George laid his hand upon her slender fingers and pressed
-them softly. He had abandoned the attempt to give her an original reply
-at each repetition of the inquiry.
-
-“Is that all?” she asked, pretending to be disappointed, but smiling
-with her grey eyes.
-
-“Can a man say more and mean it?” George inquired gravely. Then he
-laughed. “The other day,” he continued, “I was in a train on the
-Elevated Road. There was a young couple opposite to me—the woman was a
-little round fat creature with a perpetual smile, pretty teeth, and
-dressed in grey. They were talking in low tones, but I heard what they
-said. Baby language was evidently their strong point. He turned his head
-towards her with the most languishing lover-like look I ever saw.
-‘Plumpety itty partidge, who does ‘oo love?’ he asked. ‘Zoo!’ answered
-the little woman with a smile that went all round her head like the
-equator on a globe.”
-
-Mamie laughed as he finished the story.
-
-“That represented their idea of conversation, what you call ‘dear ways.’
-My dear ways are not much like that and yours are quite different. When
-I ask you if you love me, you almost always give the same answer. But
-then, I know you mean it dear, do you not?”
-
-“There it is again!” George laughed. “Of course I do—only, as you say,
-my imagination is limited. I cannot find new ways of saying it. But
-then, you do not vary the question either, so that it is no wonder if my
-answers are a little monotonous, is it?”
-
-“Are my questions monotonous? Do I bore you with them, George?”
-
-“No, dear. I should be very hard to please if you bored me. It is your
-charm that makes our life what it is.”
-
-“I wish I believed that. What is charm? What do you mean by it? It is
-not an intellectual gift, it is not a quality, a talent, nor
-accomplishment. I believe you tell me that I have it because you do not
-know what else to say. It is so easy to say to a woman ‘You are full of
-charm,’ when she is ugly and stupid and cannot play on the piano, and
-you feel obliged to be civil. I am sure that there is no such thing as
-charm. It is only an imaginary compliment. Why not tell me the truth?”
-
-“You are neither ugly nor stupid, and I am sincerely glad that you leave
-the piano alone,” said George. “I could find any number of compliments
-to make, if that were my way. But it is not, of course. You have lots of
-good points, Mamie. Look at yourself in the glass if you do not believe
-it. Look at your figure, look at your eyes, at your complexion, at your
-hands—listen to your own voice——”
-
-“Do not talk nonsense, George. Besides, that is only a catalogue. If you
-want to please me you must compare all those things to beautiful
-objects. You must say that my eyes are like—gooseberries, for instance,
-my figure like—what shall I say?”
-
-“Like Psyche’s,” suggested George.
-
-“Or like an hour-glass, and my hands like stuffed gloves, and my skin
-like a corn starch pudding, and my voice like the voice of the charmer.
-That is the way to be complimentary. Poetry must make use of similes and
-call a spade an ace—as papa says. When you have done all that, and
-turned your catalogue into blank verse, tell me if there is anything
-left which you can call charm.”
-
-“Charm,” George answered, “is what every man who loves a woman thinks
-she has—and if she has it all men love her. You have it.”
-
-“Dear me!” exclaimed the young girl. “Can you get no nearer to a
-definition than that?”
-
-“Can you define anything which you only feel and cannot see—heat for
-instance, or cold?”
-
-“Heat makes one hot, and cold makes one shiver,” answered Mamie
-promptly.
-
-“And charm makes a woman loved. That is as good an answer as yours.”
-
-“I suppose I must be satisfied, especially as you say that it can only
-be felt and not seen. Besides, if it makes you love me, why should I
-care what it is called? Do you know what it really is? It is love
-itself. It is because I love you so much, so intensely, that I make you
-love me. There is no such thing as charm. Charm is either a woman’s
-love, or her readiness to love—one or the other.”
-
-Mamie laughed softly and moved the hand that was hanging over the end of
-the sofa, as though seeking the touch of George’s fingers. He obeyed the
-little signal quite unconsciously.
-
-“Who can that be?” Mamie asked, after a moment’s pause. She thought that
-she had heard a door open and that some one had entered the
-drawing-room. George listened a few seconds.
-
-“Nobody,” he said. “It was only the fire.”
-
-While the two had been talking, some one had really entered the large
-adjoining room as Mamie had suspected. Thomas Craik was not in the habit
-of making visits in the afternoon, but on this particular day he had
-found the process of being driven about in a closed brougham more
-wearisome than usual, and it had struck him that he might find Totty at
-home and amuse himself with teasing her in some way or other. Totty was
-expected every moment, the servant had said, and the discreet attendant
-had added that Mr. George and Miss Mamie were in the boudoir together.
-Mr. Craik said that he would wait in the drawing-room, to which he was
-accordingly admitted. He knew the arrangement of the apartment and took
-care not to disturb the peace of the young couple by making any noise.
-It would be extremely entertaining, he thought, to place himself so as
-to hear something of what they said to each other; he therefore stepped
-softly upon the thick carpet and took up what he believed to be a
-favourable position. His hearing was still as sharp as ever, and he did
-not go too near the door of the inner room lest Totty, entering
-suddenly, should suppose that he had been listening.
-
-“So you think that I only love you because you love me,” said George.
-“You are not very complimentary to yourself.”
-
-“I did not say that, though that was the beginning. You would never have
-begun to love me—George, I am sure there is some one in the next room!”
-
-“It is impossible. Your mother would have come directly to us, and the
-servants would not have let any caller go in while she was out. Shall I
-look?”
-
-“No—you are quite right,” Mamie answered. “It is only the crackling of
-the fire.” She was holding his hand and did not care to let it drop in
-order that he might satisfy her curiosity. “What was I saying?”
-
-“Something very foolish—about my not loving you.”
-
-Thomas Craik listened for a while to their conversation, eagerly at
-first and then with an expression of weariness on his parchment face. He
-had been afraid to sit down, for fear of making a noise, and he found
-himself standing before a table, on which, among many other objects was
-placed the small Indian cabinet he had once given to his sister. Many
-years had passed since he had sent it to her, but his keen memory for
-details had not forgotten the secret drawer it contained, nor the way to
-open it. He looked at it for some time curiously, wondering whether
-Totty kept anything of value in it. Then it struck him that if she
-really kept anything concealed there, it would be an excellent practical
-joke to take out the object, whatever it might be, and carry it off. The
-idea was in accordance with that part of his character which loved
-secret and underhand dealings. The scene which would ensue when he
-ultimately brought the thing back would answer the other half of his
-nature which delighted in inflicting brutal and gratuitous surprises
-upon people he did not like. He laid his thin hands gently on the
-cabinet and proceeded to open it as noiselessly as he could.
-
-Mamie’s sharp ears were not deceived this time, however. She bent
-forward and whispered to George.
-
-“There is somebody there. Go on tiptoe and look from behind the curtain.
-Do not let them see you, or we shall have to go in, and that would be
-such a bore.”
-
-George obeyed in silence, stood a moment peering into the next room,
-concealed by the hangings and then returned to Mamie’s side. “It is your
-Uncle Tom,” he whispered with a smile. “He is in some mischief, I am
-sure, for he is opening that Indian cabinet as though he did not want to
-be heard.”
-
-“I will tell mamma, when she comes in—what fun it will be!” Mamie
-answered. “He must have heard us before, so that we must go on
-talking—about the weather.” Then raising her voice she began to speak of
-their future plans.
-
-Meanwhile Mr. Craik had slipped back the part of the cover which
-concealed the secret drawer, and had opened the latter. There was
-nothing in it but the document which Totty kept there. He quickly took
-it out and closed the cabinet again. Something in the appearance of the
-paper attracted his attention, and instead of putting it into his pocket
-to read at home and at his leisure, as he had intended to do, he
-unfolded it and glanced at the contents.
-
-He had always been a man able to control his anger, unless there was
-something to be gained by manifesting it, but his rage was now far too
-genuine to be concealed. The veins swelled and became visible beneath
-the tightly drawn skin of his forehead, his mouth worked spasmodically
-and his hands trembled with fury as he held the sheet before his eyes,
-satisfying himself that it was the genuine document and not a forgery
-containing provisions different from those he had made in his own will.
-As soon as he felt no further doubt about the matter, he gave vent to
-his wrath, in a storm of curses, stamping up and down the room, and
-swinging his long arms as he moved, still holding the paper in one hand.
-
-Mamie turned pale and grasped George by the arm. He would have risen to
-go into the next room, but she held him back with all her strength.
-
-“No—stay here!” she said in a low voice. “You can do no good. He knew we
-were here—something must have happened! Oh, George, what is it?”
-
-“If you will let me go and see——”
-
-But at that moment, it became evident to both that Tom Craik was no
-longer alone. Totty had entered the drawing-room. As the servant had
-said, she had been expected every moment. Her brother turned upon her
-furiously, brandishing the will and cursing louder than before. In his
-extreme anger he was able to lift up his head and look her in the eyes.
-
-“You damned infernal witch!” he shouted. “You abominable woman! You
-thief! You swindler! You——”
-
-“Help! help!” screamed Totty. “He is mad—he means to kill me!”
-
-“I am not mad, you wretch!” yelled Tom Craik, pursuing her and catching
-her with one hand while he shook the will in her face with the other.
-“Look at that—look at it! My will, here in your keeping, without so much
-as a piece of paper or a seal to hold it—you thief! You have broken into
-your husband’s office, you burglar! You have broken open my
-deed-box—look at it! Do you recognise it? Stand still and answer me, or
-I will hold you till the police can be got. Do you see? The last will
-and testament of me Thomas Craik, and not a cent for Charlotte Trimm.
-Not one cent, and not one shall you get either. He shall have it all,
-George Winton Wood, shall have it all. Ah—I see the reason why you have
-kept it now—If I had found it gone, you know I would have made it over
-again! Cheaper, and wiser, and more like you to get him for your
-daughter—of course it was, you lying, shameless beast!”
-
-“What is the meaning of this?” George asked in ringing tones. He had
-broken away from Mamie with difficulty and she had followed him into the
-room, and now stood clinging to her mother. George pushed Tom Craik back
-a little and placed himself between him and Totty, who was livid with
-terror and seemed unable to speak a word. The sudden appearance of
-George’s tall, angular figure, and the look of resolution in his dark
-face brought Tom Craik to his senses.
-
-“You want to know the meaning of it,” he said. “Quite right. You shall.
-When I was dying—nearly three years ago, I made a will in your favour. I
-left you everything I have in the world. Why? Because I pleased. This
-woman thought she was to have my money. Oh, you might have had it, if
-you had been less infernally greedy,” he cried, turning to Totty. “This
-will was deposited in my deed-box at Sherry Trimm’s office. Saw it
-there, on the top of the papers with my own eyes the last time I went;
-and Sherry was in Europe then. So you took it, and no one else. Poor
-Bond did not, though as he is dead, you will say he did. It will not
-help you. So you laid your trap—oh yes! I know those tricks of yours.
-You broke off George Wood’s marriage with the girl he loved, and you
-laid your trap—very nicely done—very. You gave him Sherry’s wines, and
-Sherry’s cigars to make him come. I know all about it. I was watching
-you. And you made him come and spend the summer up the river—so nice,
-and luxurious, and quiet for a poor young author. And you told nobody he
-was there—not you! I can see it all now, the moonlight walks, and the
-rides and the boating, and Totty indoors with a headache, or writing
-letters. It was easy to get Sherry’s consent when it was all arranged,
-was it not? Devilish easy. Sherry is an honest man—I know men—but he
-knew on which side his daughter’s bread was buttered, for he had drawn
-up the will himself. He did not mind if George Winton Wood, the poor
-author, fell in love with his daughter, any more than his magnanimous
-wife was disturbed by the prospect. Not a bit. The starving author was
-to have millions—millions, woman! as soon as the old brother was nailed
-up and trundled off to Greenwood! And he shall have them, too. It only
-remains to be seen whether he will have your daughter.”
-
-Craik paused for breath, though his invalid form was as invigorated by
-his extreme anger as to make it appear that he might go on indefinitely
-in the same strain. As for George he was at first too much amazed by the
-story to believe his ears. He thought Craik was mad, and yet the
-presence of the will which the old man repeatedly thrust before his eyes
-and in which he could not help seeing his own name written in the
-lawyer’s large clear hand, told him that there was a broad foundation of
-truth in the tale.
-
-“Defend yourself, Totty,” he said as quietly as he could. “Tell him that
-this story is absurd. I think Mr. Craik is not well——”
-
-“Not well, young man?” Craik asked, looking up at him with a bitter
-laugh. “I am as well as you. Here is my will. There is the cabinet. And
-there is Charlotte Sherrington Trimm. Send for her husband. Ask him if
-it is not a good case for a jury. You may be in love with the girl, and
-she may be in love with you, for all I know. But you have been made to
-fall in love with each other by that scheming old woman, there. The only
-way she could get the money into the family was through you. She is
-lawyer enough to know that there may be a duplicate somewhere, and that
-I should make one fast enough if there were not. Besides, to burn a will
-means the State’s Prison, and she wants to avoid that place, if she
-can.”
-
-The possibility and the probability that the whole story might be true,
-flashed suddenly upon George’s mind, and he turned very pale. The
-recollection of Totty’s amazing desire to please him was still fresh in
-his mind, and he remembered how very unexpected it had all seemed, the
-standing invitation to the house, the extreme anxiety to draw him to the
-country, the reckless way in which Totty had left him alone with her
-daughter, Totty’s manner on that night when she had persuaded him to
-offer himself to Mamie—the result, and the cable message she had shown
-him, ready prepared, and taking for granted her husband’s consent. By
-this time Totty had sunk into a chair and was sobbing helplessly,
-covering her face with her hands and handkerchief. George walked up to
-her, while old Tom Craik kept at his elbow, as though fearing that he
-might prove too easily forgiving.
-
-“How long have you known the contents of that will?” George asked
-steadily, and still trying to speak kindly.
-
-“Since—the end—of April,” Totty sobbed. She felt it impossible to lie,
-for her brother’s eyes were fixed on her face and she was frightened.
-
-“You did, did you? Well, well, that ought to settle it,” said Craik,
-breaking into a savage laugh. “I fancy it must have been about that time
-that she began to like you so much,” he added looking at George.
-
-“About the first of May,” George answered coldly. “I remember that on
-that day I met you in the street and you begged me to go and see Mamie,
-who was alone.”
-
-“I like men who remember dates,” chuckled the old man at his elbow.
-
-“I have been very much deceived,” said George. “I believed it was for
-myself. It was for money. I have nothing more to say.”
-
-“You have not asked me whether I knew anything,” said Mamie, coming
-before him. Her alabaster skin was deadly white and her grey eyes were
-on fire.
-
-“Your mother knows you too well to have told you,” George answered very
-kindly. “I have promised to marry you. I do not suspect you, but I would
-not break my word to you, even if I thought that you had known.”
-
-“It is for me to break my word,” answered the young girl proudly. “No
-power on earth shall make me marry you, now.”
-
-Her lips were tightly pressed to her teeth as she spoke and she held her
-head high, though her eyes rested lovingly on his face.
-
-“Why will you not marry me, Mamie?” George asked. He knew now that he
-had never loved her.
-
-“I have had shame already,” she answered. “Shame in being thrust upon
-you, shame in having thrust myself upon you—though not for your money.
-You never knew. You asked me once how I knew your moods, and when you
-wanted me and when you would choose to be alone. Ask her, ask my mother.
-She is wiser than I. She could tell from your face, long before I could,
-what you wished—and we had signals and signs and passwords, she and I,
-so that she could help me with her advice, and teach me how to make
-myself wanted by the man I loved. Am I not contemptible? And when I told
-you that I loved you—and then made you believe that I was only acting,
-because there was no response—shame? I have lived with it, fed on it,
-dreamed of it, and to-day is the crown of all—my crown of shame. Marry
-you? I would rather die!”
-
-“Whatever others may have done, you have always been brave and true,
-Mamie,” said George. “It may be better that we should not marry, but
-there has been no shame for you in this matter.”
-
-“I am not so sure,” said Tom Craik with a chuckle and an ugly smile.
-“She is cleverer than she looks——”
-
-George turned upon the old man with the utmost violence.
-
-“Sir!” he cried savagely. “If you say that again I will break your
-miserable old bones, if I hang for it!”
-
-“Like that fellow,” muttered Craik with a more pleasant expression than
-he had yet worn. “Like him more and more.”
-
-“I do not want to be liked by you, and you know why,” George answered,
-for he had caught the words.
-
-“Oh, you don’t, don’t you? Well, well. Never mind.”
-
-“No I do not. And what is more, I will tell you something, Mr. Craik.
-When you were ill and I called to inquire, I came because I hoped to
-learn that you were dead. That may explain what I feel for you. I have
-not had a favourable opportunity of explaining the matter before, or I
-would have done so.”
-
-“Good again!” replied the old gentleman. “Like frankness in young
-people. Eh, Totty? Eh, Mamie? Very frank young man, this, eh?”
-
-“Furthermore, Mr. Craik,” continued George, not heeding him, “I will
-tell you that I will not lift a finger to have your money. I do not want
-it.”
-
-“Exactly. Never enjoyed such sport in my life as trying to force money
-on a poor man who won’t take it. Good that, what? Eh, Totty? Don’t you
-think this is fun? Poor old Totty—all broken up! Bear these little
-things better myself.”
-
-Totty was in a fit of hysterics and neither heard nor heeded, as she lay
-in the deep chair, sobbing, moaning and laughing all at once. George
-eyed her contemptuously.
-
-“Either let us go,” he said to Craik, “and, if you have exhausted your
-wit, that would be the best thing; or else let Mrs. Trimm be taken away.
-I shall not leave you here to torment these ladies.”
-
-“Seat in my carriage? Come along!” answered Mr. Craik with alacrity.
-
-George led Mamie back into the little room beyond. As they went, he
-could hear the old man beginning to rail at his sister again, but he
-paid no attention. He felt that he could not leave Mamie without another
-word. The young girl followed him in silence. They stood together near
-the window, as far out of hearing as possible. George hesitated.
-
-“What is it, George?” asked Mamie. “Do you want to say good-bye to me?”
-She spoke with evident effort.
-
-“I want to say this, dear. If you and I can help it, not a word of what
-has happened to-day must ever be known. I have been deceived, most
-shamefully, but not by you. You have been honest and true from first to
-last. The best way to keep this secret, is for us two to marry as though
-nothing had happened. Nobody would believe it then. I am afraid that Mr.
-Craik will tell some one, because he is so angry.”
-
-“I have told you my decision,” Mamie answered firmly, though her lips
-were white. “I have nothing more to say.”
-
-“Think well of what you are doing. One should not come to such decisions
-when one is angry. Here I am, Mamie. Take me if you will, and forget
-that all those things have been said and done.”
-
-For one moment, Mamie hesitated.
-
-“Do you love me?” she asked, trying to read his heart in his eyes.
-
-But the poor passion that had taken the place of love was gone. The
-knowledge that he had been played with and gambled for, though not by
-the girl herself, had given him a rude shock.
-
-“Yes,” he answered, bravely trying to feel that he was speaking the
-truth. But there was no life in the word.
-
-“No, dear,” said Mamie simply. “You never loved me. I see it now.”
-
-He would have made some sort of protest. But she drew back from him, and
-from his outstretched hand.
-
-“Will you let me be alone?” she asked.
-
-He bowed his head and left the room.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVII.
-
-
-When George had seen old Tom Craik enter his carriage and drive away
-from the house, he breathed more freely. He could not think very
-connectedly of what had happened, but it seemed to him that the old man
-had played a part quite as contemptible as that which Totty herself had
-sustained so long. He would assuredly not have believed that the
-terrific anger of which he had witnessed the explosion was chiefly due
-to the discovery of what was intended to be a good action. Craik had
-never liked to be found out, and it was especially galling to him to be
-exposed in the act of endeavouring to make amends for the past. But for
-this consideration, he would have been quite capable of returning the
-will to its place in the cabinet, and of leaving the house quietly. He
-would have merely sent for a lawyer and repeated the document with a new
-date, to deposit it in some place to which his sister could not possibly
-gain access. But his anger had been aroused in the first moment by the
-certainty that Totty had understood his motives and must secretly
-despise him for making such a restitution of ill-gotten gain. George
-could not have comprehended this, and he feared that the old man should
-do some irreparable harm if he were left any longer with the object of
-his wrath. The look in Craik’s eyes had not been reassuring, and it was
-by no means sure that the whole affair had not finally unsettled his
-intellect.
-
-There was little ground for any such fear, however, as George would have
-realised if he could have followed Mr. Craik to his home, and seen how
-soon he repented of having endangered his health by giving way to his
-wrath. An hour later he was in bed and his favourite doctor was at his
-side, watching every pulsation of his heart and prepared to do battle at
-the first attack of any malady which should present itself.
-
-George himself was far less moved by what had occurred than he would
-have believed possible. His first and chief sensation was a sickening
-disgust with Totty and with all that recent portion of his life in which
-she had played so great a part. He had been deceived and played with on
-all sides and his vanity revolted at the thought of what might have been
-if Craik’s discovery had not broken through the veil of Totty’s
-duplicity. It made him sick to feel that while he had fancied himself
-courted and honoured and chosen as a son-in-law for his own sake and for
-the sake of what he had done in the face of such odds, he had really
-been looked upon as an object of speculation, as a thing worth buying at
-a cheap price for the sake of its future value. Beyond this, he felt
-nothing but a sense of relief at having been released from his
-engagement. He had done his best to act honestly, but he had often
-feared that he was deceiving himself and others in the effort to do what
-seemed honourable. He did not deny, even now, that what he had felt for
-Mamie might in good time have developed into a real love, but he saw
-clearly at last that while his senses had been charmed and his
-intelligence soothed, his heart had never been touched. Doubts about
-Mamie herself would present themselves, though he drove them resolutely
-away. It was natural that he should find it hard to realise in her that
-which he had never felt during their long intercourse, and while his
-instinct told him that the young girl had been innocent of all her
-mother’s plotting and scheming, he said to himself that she would easily
-recover from her disappointment. If he was troubled by any regret it was
-rather that he should not have left her mother’s house as soon as he had
-seen that she was interested, than that he should have failed to love
-her as he had tried to do. On the other hand he admitted that his
-conduct had been excusable, considering the pressure which Totty had
-brought to bear upon him.
-
-The most unpleasant point in the future was the explanation which must
-inevitably take place between himself and Sherrington Trimm. It would be
-hard to imagine a meeting more disagreeable to both parties as this one
-was sure to be. There could be no question about Trimm’s innocence in
-the whole affair, for his character was too well known to the world to
-admit the least suspicion. But it would be a painful matter to meet him
-and talk over what had happened. If possible, the interview must be
-avoided, and George determined to attempt this solution by writing a
-letter setting forth his position with the utmost clearness. He turned
-up the steps of a club to which he belonged and sat down to the task.
-
-What he said may be summed up in a few words. He took it for granted
-that Trimm would be acquainted with what had occurred, by the time the
-letter reached him. It only remained for him to repeat what he had said
-to Mamie herself, to wit, that if she would marry him, he was ready to
-fulfil his engagement. He concluded by saying that he would wait a month
-for the definite answer, after which time he intended to go abroad. He
-sealed the note and took it with him, intending to send it to Trimm’s
-house in the evening. As luck would have it, however, he met Trimm
-himself in the hall of the club. He had stopped on his way up town to
-refresh himself with a certain mild drink of his own devising.
-
-“Hilloa, George!” he cried in his cheery voice. “What is the matter?” he
-asked anxiously as he saw the expression on the other’s face.
-
-“Have you been at home yet?” George asked.
-
-“No.”
-
-“Something very disagreeable has happened. I have just written you a
-note. Will you take it with you and read it after you have heard what
-they have to say?”
-
-“Confound it all!” exclaimed Sherry Trimm. “I am not fond of mystery.
-Come into a quiet room and tell me all about it.”
-
-“I would rather that you found it out for yourself,” said George,
-drawing back.
-
-Sherry Trimm looked keenly at him, and then took him by the arm.
-
-“Look here, George,” he said, “no nonsense! I do not know what the
-trouble is, but I see it is serious. Let us have it out, right here.”
-
-“Very well,” George answered. “Your wife has made trouble,” he said, as
-soon as they were closeted in one of the small rooms. “You drew up Mr.
-Craik’s will, and you kept his secret. When you had gone abroad, your
-wife got the will out of the deed-box in your office and took it home
-with her. She kept it in that Indian cabinet and Mr. Craik found it
-there this afternoon, and made a fearful scene. Unfortunately your wife
-could not find any answer to what he said, and thereupon Mamie declared
-that she would not marry me.”
-
-Sherrington Trimm’s pink face had grown slowly livid while George was
-speaking.
-
-“What did Tom say?” he asked quietly.
-
-“He hinted that his sister had not been wholly disinterested in her
-kindness to me,” said George. “Unfortunately Mamie and I were present. I
-did the best I could, but the mischief was done.”
-
-Sherrington said nothing more, but began to walk up and down the small
-room nervously, pulling at his short grizzled moustache from time to
-time. Like every one else who had been concerned in the affair, he
-grasped the whole situation in a moment.
-
-“This is a miserable business,” he said at last in a tone that expressed
-profound humiliation and utter disgust.
-
-George did not answer, for he was quite of the same opinion. He stood
-leaning against a card-table, drumming with his fingers on the green
-cloth behind him. Sherry Trimm paused in his walk, and struck his
-clenched fist upon the palm of his other hand. Then he shook his head
-and began to pace the floor again.
-
-“An abominable business,” he muttered. “I cannot see that there is
-anything to be done, but to beg your pardon for it all,” he said,
-suddenly turning to George.
-
-“You need not do that,” George answered readily. “It is not your fault,
-Cousin Sherry. All I want to say, is what I had already written to you.
-If Mamie will change her mind and marry me, I am ready.”
-
-Trimm looked at him sharply.
-
-“You are a good fellow, George,” he said. “But I don’t think I could
-stand that. You never loved her as you ought to love to be happy. I saw
-that long ago and I guessed that there had been something wrong. You
-have been tricked into the whole thing—and—just go away and leave me
-here, will you? I cannot stand this.”
-
-George took the outstretched hand and shook it warmly. Then he left the
-room and closed the door behind him. In that moment he pitied
-Sherrington Trimm far more than he pitied Mamie herself. He could
-understand the man’s humiliation better than the girl’s broken heart. He
-went out of the club and turned homewards. He had yet to communicate the
-intelligence to his father, and he was oddly curious to see what the old
-gentleman would say. An hour later he had told the whole story with
-every detail he could remember, from the day when Totty had told him to
-go and see Mamie to his recent interview with Sherry Trimm.
-
-“I am sorry for you, George,” said Jonah Wood. “I am very sorry for
-you.”
-
-“I think, on the whole, that is more than I can say for myself,” George
-answered. “I am far more sorry for Mamie and her father. It is a relief
-to me. I would not have believed it, this morning.”
-
-“Do you mean that you were not in love?”
-
-“Yes. I am just as fond of her as ever. There is nothing I would not do
-for her. But I do not want to marry her and I never did, till that old
-cat made me think it was my duty.”
-
-“I should think you would have known what your duty was, without waiting
-to be told. I would have told her mother that I did not love the girl,
-and I would have gone the next morning.”
-
-“You are so sensible, father!” George exclaimed. “I looked at it
-differently. It seemed to me that if I had gone so far as to make Mamie
-believe that I loved her, I ought to be able to love her in earnest.”
-
-“When you are older, you will know better,” observed the old gentleman
-severely. “You have too much imagination. As for Mr. Craik, he will not
-leave you his money now. I doubt if he meant to.”
-
-George went and shut himself up in the little room which had witnessed
-so many of his struggles and disappointments. He sat down in his shabby
-old easy-chair and lit a short pipe and fell into a profound reverie.
-The unexpected had played a great part in his life, and as he reviewed
-the story of the past three years, he was surprised to find how very
-different his own existence had been from that of the average man. With
-the exception of his accident on the river and the scene he had
-witnessed to-day, nothing really startling had happened to him in that
-time, and yet his position at the present moment was as different from
-his position three years earlier as it possibly could be. In that time
-he had risen from total obscurity into the publicity of reputation, if
-not of celebrity. He was not fond of disturbing the mass of papers that
-encumbered his table, and there, deep down under the rest were still to
-be found rough drafts of his last poor little reviews. Hanging from one
-corner there was visible the corrected “revise” of one of his earliest
-accepted articles. At the other end, beneath a piece of old iron which
-he used as a paper-weight, lay the manuscript of his first novel, well
-thumbed and soiled, and marked at intervals in pencil with the names of
-the compositors who had set up the pages in type. There, upon the table,
-lay the accumulated refuse of three years of hard work, of the three
-years which had raised him into the public notice. Much of that work had
-been done under the influence of one woman, of one fair young girl who
-had bent over his shoulder as he read her page after page, and whose
-keen, fresh sight had often detected flaws and errors where he himself
-saw no imperfection. She had encouraged him, had pushed him, and urged
-him on, in spite of himself, until he had succeeded, beyond his wildest
-expectations. Then he had lost her, because he had thought that she was
-bound to marry him. He did not think so now, for he felt that in that
-case, too, he had been mistaken, as in the more recent one he had
-deceived himself. He had never been in love. He had never felt what he
-described in his own books. His blood had never raced through his veins
-for love, as it had often done for anger and sometimes for mere passing
-passion. Love had never taken him and mastered him and carried him away
-in its arms beyond all consideration for consequences. It was not
-because he was strong. He knew that whatever people might think of him,
-he had often been weak, and had longed to be made strong by a love he
-could not feel. He had been ready to yield himself to a belief in
-affections which had proved unreal and which had disappointed himself by
-their instability and by the ease with which he had recovered from them.
-Even in the solitude of his own room he was ashamed to own to his inner
-consciousness how little he had been moved by all that had happened to
-him in those three years.
-
-He thought of Johnson, the pale-faced hardworking man, whose heart was
-full of unsatisfied ambition and who had distanced his competitors by
-sheer energy and enthusiasm. He envied the man his belief in himself and
-his certainty of slow but sure success. Slow, indeed, it must be.
-Johnson had toiled for many years at his writing to attain the position
-he occupied, to be considered a good judge and a ready writer by the few
-who knew him, to gain a small but solid reputation in a small circle. He
-had worked much harder than George himself, and yet to-day, George Wood
-was known and read where William Johnson had never been heard of. Of the
-two Johnson was by far the better satisfied with his success, though of
-the two he possessed by very much the more ambition, in the ordinary
-acceptation of the word.
-
-Then George thought of Thomas Craik, and of his sneer at ambitious men.
-He had said that there was no pleasure in possession, but only in
-getting, getting, getting, as long as a man had breath; that the wish to
-excel other men in anything was a drawback and a disadvantage, and that
-nothing in the world was worth having for its own sake, from money to
-fame, through all the catalogue of what is attainable by humanity. And
-yet, Thomas Craik was an instance of a very successful man, who had some
-right to speak on the subject. Whether he had got his money by fair
-means or foul had nothing to do with the argument. He had it, and he
-could speak from experience about the pleasures of possession. There
-must be some truth in what he said. George himself had attained before
-the age of thirty what many men labour in vain to reach throughout a
-lifetime. The case was similar. Whether he had deserved the reputation
-he had so suddenly acquired or not, mattered little. Many critics said
-that he had no claim to it. Many others said that he deserved more than
-he got. Whichever side was right, he had it, as Tom Craik had his money.
-Did it give him any satisfaction? None whatever, beyond the material
-advantages it brought him, and which only pleased him because they made
-him independent of his father’s help. When he thought of what he had
-done, he found no savour of pride in the reflection, nothing which
-really flattered his vanity, nothing to send a thrill of happiness
-through him. He was cold, indifferent to all he had done. It would not
-have entered his mind to take up one of his own books and glance over
-the pages. On the contrary, he felt a strong repulsion for what he had
-written, the moment it was finished. He admitted that he was foolish in
-this, as in many other things, and that he would in all likelihood
-improve his work by going over it and polishing it, even by entirely
-rewriting a great part of it. He was not deterred from doing so by
-indolence, for his rarely energetic temperament loved hard work and
-sought it. It was rather a profound dissatisfaction with all he did
-which prevented him from expending any further time upon each
-performance when he had once reached the last page. Nothing satisfied
-him, neither what he did himself, nor what he saw done by others.
-
-Thinking the matter over in his solitude the inevitable conclusion
-seemed to be that he was one of those discontented beings who can never
-be pleased with anything, nor lose themselves in an enthusiasm without
-picking to pieces the object that has made him enthusiastic. But this
-was not true either. There were plenty of great works in the world for
-which he had no criticism, and which never failed to excite his
-boundless admiration. He smiled to himself as he thought that what would
-really please him would be to be forced into the same attitude of
-respect before one of his own books, into which he naturally fell before
-the great masterpieces of literature. He would have been hard to
-satisfy, he thought, if that would not have satisfied him. Was that,
-then, the vision which he was really pursuing? It was folly to suppose
-that he would be so mad, and yet, at that time, he felt that he desired
-nothing else and nothing less than that, and since that was absolutely
-unattainable, he was condemned to perpetual discontent, to be borne with
-the best patience he could find. Beyond this, he could find no
-explanation of his feelings about his own work.
-
-The only other source of happiness of which he could conceive was love,
-and this brought him back to his kindly and grateful memories of
-Constance Fearing, and to the more disturbing recollection of his
-cousin. The latter, also, had played a part and had occupied a share in
-his life. He had watched her more closely than he had ever watched any
-one, and had studied her with an unconsciously unswerving attention
-which proved how little he had loved her and how much she had interested
-him. He was, indeed, never well aware that he was subjecting any one to
-a microscopic intellectual scrutiny, for he possessed in a high degree
-the faculty of unintentional memory. While it cost him a severe effort
-to commit to memory a dozen verses of any poet, old or modern, he could
-nevertheless recall with faultless accuracy both sights and
-conversations which he had seen and heard, even after an interval of
-many years, provided that his interest had been somewhat excited at the
-time. The half-active, half-indolent, wholly luxurious life at his
-cousin’s house had in the end produced a strong impression upon him. It
-had been like an interval of lotus-eating upon an almost uninhabited
-island, varied only by such work as he chose to do at his own leisure
-and in his own way. During more than four months the struggles of the
-world had been hidden from him, and had temporarily ceased to play any
-part in his thoughts. The dreamy existence spent between flowers and
-woods and water, where every want had been anticipated almost before it
-was felt, served now as a background for the picture of the young girl
-who had been so constantly with him, herself as natural as her
-surroundings, the incarnation of life and of life’s charm, the negation
-of intellectual activity and of the sufferings of thought, a lovely
-creature who could only think, reason, enjoy and suffer with her heart,
-and whose mind could acquire but little, and was incapable of giving
-out. She had been the central figure and had contributed much to the
-general effect, so much, indeed, that under pressure of circumstances he
-had been willing to believe that he could love her enough to marry her.
-The scene had changed, the hallucination had vanished and the delusion
-was destroyed, but the memory of it all remained, and now disturbed his
-recollection of more recent events. There was a sensuous attraction in
-the pictures that presented themselves, from which he could not escape,
-but which he for some reason despised and tried to put away from him, by
-thinking again of Constance, of the cold purity of her face, of her
-over-studied conscientiousness and of her complete subjection to her
-sincere but mistaken self-criticism.
-
-He wondered whether he should ever marry, and what manner of woman his
-wife would turn out to be. Of one thing he was sure. He would not now
-marry any woman unless he loved her with all his heart, and he would not
-ask her to marry him unless he were already sure of her love. The third
-must be the decisive case, from which he should never desire to withdraw
-and in which there should be no disappointment. He thought of Grace
-Fearing, and of her marriage and short-lived happiness with its terribly
-sudden ending and the immensity of sorrow that had followed its
-extinction. It almost seemed to him as though it would be worth while to
-suffer as she suffered if one could have what she had found; for the
-love must have been great and deep and sincere indeed, which could leave
-such scars where it had rested. To love a woman so well able to love
-would be happiness. She never doubted herself nor what she felt; all her
-thoughts were clear, simple and strong; she did not analyse herself to
-know the measure of her own sincerity, nor was she a woman to be carried
-away by a thoughtless passion. She loved and she hated frankly,
-sincerely, without a side thought of doubt on the one hand nor of malice
-on the other. She was morally strong without putting on any affectation
-of strength, she was clear-sighted without making any pretence to
-exceptional intelligence, she was passionate without folly, and wise
-without annoyance, she was good, not sanctimonious, she was dignified
-without vanity. In short, as George thought of her, he saw that the
-woman who had openly disliked him and opposed him in former days, was of
-all the three the one for whom he felt the most sincere admiration. He
-remembered now that at his first meeting with the two sisters he had
-liked Grace better than Constance, and would then have chosen her as the
-object of his attentions had she been free and had he foreseen that
-friendship was to follow upon intimacy and love on friendship.
-Unfortunately for George Wood, and for all who find themselves in a like
-situation, that concatenation of events is the one most rarely foreseen
-by anybody, and George was fain to content himself with speculating upon
-the nature of the happiness he would have enjoyed had he been loved by a
-woman who seemed now to be dead to the whole world of the affections. It
-was sufficient to compare her with her sister to understand that she
-was, of the two, the nobler character; it was enough to think of Mamie
-to see that in that direction no comparison was even possible.
-
-“It would be strange if it should be my fate to love her, after all,”
-George thought. “She would never love me.”
-
-He roused himself from his reverie and sat down to his table, by sheer
-force of habit. Paper and ink were before him, and his pen lay ready to
-his hand, where he had last thrown it down. Almost unconsciously he
-began to write, putting down notes of a situation that had suddenly
-presented itself to his mind. The pen moved along, sometimes running
-rapidly, sometimes stopping with an impatient hesitation during which it
-continued to move uneasily in the air. Characters shaped themselves out
-of the chaos and names sounded in the willing ear of the writer. The
-situation which he had first thought of was all at once transformed into
-a detail in a second and larger action, another possibility started up
-out of darkness, in brilliant clearness, and absorbed the matters
-already thought of into itself, broadening and strengthening every
-moment. Whole chapters now stood out as if already written, and in their
-places. A detail here, another there, to be changed or adapted, one
-glance at the whole, one or two names spoken aloud to see how they
-sounded in the stillness, a pause of a moment, a fresh sheet of paper,
-and George Wood was launched upon the first chapter of a new novel,
-forgetful of Grace, of Constance Fearing and even of poor Mamie herself
-and of all that had happened only two or three hours earlier.
-
-He was writing, working with passionate and all-absorbing interest at
-the expression of his fancies. What he did was good, well thought,
-clearly expressed, harmoniously composed. When it was given to the
-public it was spoken of as the work of a man of heart, full of human
-sympathy and understanding. At the time when he was inventing the plot
-and writing down the beginning of his story, a number of people
-intimately connected with his life were all in one way or another
-suffering acutely and he himself was the direct or indirect cause of all
-their sufferings. He was neither a cruel man, nor thoughtless nor
-unkind, but he was for the time utterly unconscious of the outer world,
-and if not happy at least profoundly interested in what he was doing.
-
-During that hour, Sherrington Trimm, pale and nervous, was walking up
-and down his endless beat in the little room at the club where George
-had left him, trying to master his anger and disgust before going home
-to meet his wife and the inevitable explanation which must ensue. The
-servant came in and lit the gaslight and stirred the fire but Trimm
-never saw him nor varied the monotony of his walk.
-
-At his own house, things were no better. Totty, completely broken down,
-by the failure of all her plans and the disclosure of her discreditable
-secret, had recovered enough from her hysterics to be put to bed by her
-faithful maid, who was surprised to find that, as all signs fail in fair
-weather, none of the usual remedies could extract a word of satisfaction
-or an expression of relief from her mistress. Down stairs, in the little
-boudoir where she had last seen the man she loved, Mamie was lying
-stretched upon the divan, dry eyed, with strained lips and blanched
-cheeks, knowing nothing save that her passion had dashed itself to
-pieces against a rock in the midst of its fairest voyage.
-
-In another house, far distant, Grace Bond was leaning against a broad
-chimney-piece, a half-sorrowful, half-contemptuous smile upon her strong
-sad face, as she thought of all her sister’s changes and vacillations
-and of the aimlessness of the fair young life. Above, in her own room,
-Constance Fearing was kneeling and praying with all her might, though
-she hardly knew for what, while the bright tears flowed down her thin
-cheeks in an unceasing stream.
-
-“And yet, when he came to life, he called me first!” she cried,
-stretching out her hands and looking upward as though protesting against
-the injustice of Heaven.
-
-And in yet another place, in a magnificent chamber, where the softened
-light played upon rich carvings and soft carpets, an old man lay dying
-of his last fit of anger.
-
-All for the sake of George Wood who, conscious that many if not all were
-in deep trouble, anxiety or suffering, was driving his pen unceasingly
-from one side of a piece of paper to the other, with an expression of
-keen interest on his dark face, and a look of eager delight in his eyes
-such as a man may show who is hunting an animal of value and who is on
-the point of overtaking his prey.
-
-But for the accident of thought which had thrown a new idea into the
-circulation of his brain, he would still have been sitting in his shabby
-easy-chair, thoughtfully pulling at his short pipe and thinking of all
-those persons whom he had seen that day, kindly of some, unkindly of
-others, but not deaf to all memories and shut off from all sympathy by
-something which had suddenly arisen between himself and the waking,
-suffering world.
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXVIII.
-
-
-The sun shines alike upon the just and the unjust, and it would seem to
-follow that all men should be judged by the same measure in the more
-important actions and emotions of their lives. To apply the principle of
-a double standard to mankind is to run the risk of producing some very
-curious results in morality. And yet, there are undoubtedly cases in
-which a man has a claim to special consideration and, as it were, to a
-trial by a special jury. There have been many great statesmen whose
-private practice in regard to financial transactions has been more than
-shady, and there have been others whose private lives have been
-spotless, but whose political doings have been unscrupulous in the
-extreme. There are professions and careers in which it is sufficient to
-act precisely as all others engaged in the same occupation would act,
-and in which the most important element of success is a happy faculty of
-keeping the brain power at the same unvarying pressure, neither high nor
-low, but always ready to be used, and in such a state that it may always
-be relied upon to perform the same amount of work in a given time. There
-are other occupations in which there are necessarily moments of enormous
-activity at uncertain intervals, followed by periods of total relaxation
-and rest. One might divide all careers roughly into two classes, and
-call the one the continuous class and the other the intermittent. The
-profession of the novelist falls within the latter division. Very few
-men or women who have written well have succeeded in reducing the
-exercise of their art to a necessary daily function of the body. Very
-few intellectual machines can be made to bear the strain of producing
-works of imagination in regular quantities throughout many years at an
-unvarying rate, day after day. Neither the brain nor the body will bear
-it, and if the attempt be made either the one or the other, or both,
-will ultimately suffer. Without being necessarily spasmodic, the
-storyteller’s activity is almost unavoidably intermittent. There are men
-who can take up the pen and drive it during seven, eight and even nine
-hours a day for six weeks or two months and who, having finished their
-story, either fall into a condition of indolent apathy until the next
-book has to be written, or return at once to some favourite occupation
-which produces no apparent result, and of which the public has never
-heard. There are many varieties of the genus author. There is the sailor
-author, who only comes ashore to write his book and puts to sea again as
-soon as it is in the publisher’s hands. There is the hunting author, who
-as in the case of Anthony Trollope, keeps his body in such condition
-that he can do a little good work every day of the year, a great and
-notable exception to the rule. There is the student author, whose
-laborious work of exegesis will never be heard of, but who interrupts it
-from time to time in order to produce a piece of brilliant fiction,
-returning to his Sanscrit each time with renewed interest and industry.
-There is the musical author, whose preference would have led him to be a
-professional musician, but who had not quite enough talent for it, or
-not quite enough technical facility or whose musical education began a
-little too late. There is the adventurous author, who shoots in Africa
-or has a habit of spending the winter in eastern Siberia. There is the
-artistic author, who may be found in out-of-the-way towns in Italy,
-patiently copying old pictures, as though his life depended upon his
-accuracy, or sketching ragged boys and girls in very ragged
-water-colour. There is the social author—and he is not always the least
-successful in his profession—who is a favourite everywhere, who can
-dance and sing and act, and who regards the occasional production of a
-novel as an episode in his life. There is the author who prepares
-himself many months beforehand for what he intends to do by frequenting
-the society, whether high or low, which he wishes to depict, who writes
-his book in one month of the year and spends the other eleven in
-observing the manners and customs of men and women. There is the author
-who lives in solitary places and evolves his characters out of his inner
-consciousness and who occasionally descends, manuscript in hand, from
-his inaccessible fastnesses and ravages all the coasts of Covent Garden,
-Henrietta Street and the Strand, until he has got his price and
-disappears as suddenly as he came, taking his gold with him, no man
-knows whither. There is the author whom no man can boast of having ever
-seen, who never answers a letter, nor gives an autograph, nor lets any
-one but his publisher know where he lives, but whose three volumes
-appear punctually twice a year and whose name is familiar in many
-mouths. Unless he is to be found described in an encyclopædia you will
-never know whether he is old or young, black or grey, good-looking or
-ugly, straight or hunchbacked. He is to you a vague, imaginary
-personage, surrounded by a pillar of cloud. In reality he is perhaps a
-fat little man of fifty, who wears gold-rimmed spectacles and has
-discovered that he can only write if he lives in one particular
-Hungarian village with a name that baffles pronunciation, and whose
-chief interest in life lies in the study of socialism or the cholera
-microbe. Then again, there is the fighting author, grim, grey and tough
-as a Toledo blade, who has ridden through many a hard-fought field in
-many lands and has smelled more gunpowder in his time than most great
-generals, out of sheer love for the stuff. There is also the pacific
-author, who frequents peace congresses and makes speeches in favour of a
-general disarming of all nations. There are countless species and
-varieties of the genus. There is even the poet author, who writes
-thousands of execrable verses in secret and produces exquisite romances
-in prose only because he can do nothing else.
-
-If we admit that novels, on the whole, are a good to society at large,
-as most people, excepting authors themselves, are generally ready to
-admit, we grant at the same time that they must be produced by
-individuals possessing the necessary talents and characteristics of
-intelligence. And if it is shown that a majority of these individuals do
-their work in a somewhat erratic fashion, and behave somewhat
-erratically while they are doing it, such defects must be condoned, at
-least, if not counted to them for positive righteousness. With many of
-them the appearance of a new idea within the field of their mental
-vision is equivalent to a command to write, which they are neither able
-nor anxious to resist; and, if they are men of talent, it is very hard
-for them to turn their attention to anything else until the idea is
-expressed on paper. Let them not be thought heartless or selfish if they
-sometimes seem to care nothing for what happens around them while they
-are subject to the imperious domination of the new idea. They are
-neither the one nor the other. They are simply unconscious, like a man
-in a cataleptic trance. The plainest language conveys no meaning to
-their abstracted comprehension, the most startling sights produce no
-impression upon their sense; they are in another world, living and
-talking with unseen creations of their own fancy and for the time being
-they are not to be considered as ordinary human beings, nor judged by
-the standard to which other men are subject.
-
-It would not therefore be just to say that during the days which
-followed the breaking off of his engagement with Mamie Trimm, George
-Wood was cruel or unfeeling because he was wholly unconscious of her
-existence throughout the greater part of each twenty-four hours. By a
-coincidence which he would certainly not have invoked, a train of
-thought had begun its course in his brain within an hour or two of the
-catastrophe, and he was powerless to stop himself in the pursuit of it
-until he had reached the end. During nine whole days he never left the
-house, and scarcely went out of his room except to eat his meals, which
-he did in a summary fashion without wasting time in superfluous
-conversation. On the morning of the tenth day he knew that he was at the
-last chapter and he sat down at his table in that state of mind to which
-a very young author is brought by a week and a half of unceasing fatigue
-and excitement. The room swam with him, and he could see nothing
-distinctly except his paper, the point of his pen, and the moving
-panorama in his brain, of which it was essential to catch every detail
-before it had passed into the outer darkness from which ideas cannot be
-brought back. His hand was icy cold, moist and unsteady and his face was
-pale, the eyelids dark and swollen, and the veins on the temples
-distended. He moved his feet nervously as he wrote, shrugged his left
-shoulder with impatience at the slightest hesitation about the use of a
-word, and his usually imperturbable features translated into expression
-every thought, as rapidly as he could put it into words with his pen.
-The house might have burned over his head, and he would have gone on
-writing until the paper under his hand was on fire. No ordinary noise
-would have reached his ears, conscious only of the scratching of the
-steel point upon the smooth sheet. He could have worked as well in the
-din of a public room in a hotel, or in the crowded hall of a great
-railway station, as in the silence and solitude of his own chamber. He
-had reached the point of abstraction at which nothing is of the
-slightest consequence to the writer provided that the ink will flow and
-the paper will not blot. Like a skilled swordsman, he was conscious only
-of his enemy’s eye and of the state of the weapons. The weapons were
-pen, ink and paper, and the enemy was the idea to be pursued, overtaken,
-pierced and pinned down before it could assume another shape, or escape
-again into chaos. The sun rose above the little paved brick court below
-his window, and began to shine into the window itself. Then a storm came
-up and the sky turned suddenly black, while the wind whistled through
-the yard with that peculiarly unnatural sound which it makes in great
-cities, so different from its sighing and moaning and roaring amongst
-trees and rocks. The first snowflakes were whirled against the panes of
-glass and slid down to the frame in half-transparent patches. The wind
-sank again, and the snow fluttered silently down like the unwinding of
-an endless lace curtain from above. Then, the flakes were suddenly
-illuminated by a burst of sunshine and melted as they fell and turned to
-bright drops of water in the air, and then vanished again, and the small
-piece of sky above the great house on the other side of the yard was
-once more clear and blue, as a sapphire that has been dipped in pure
-water. It was afternoon, and George was unconscious of the many changes
-of the day, unconscious that he had not eaten nor drunk since morning,
-and that he had even forgotten to smoke. One after another the pages
-were numbered, filled and tossed aside, as he went on, never raising his
-head nor looking away from his work lest he should lose something of the
-play upon which all his faculties were inwardly concentrated, and of
-which it was his business to transcribe every word, and to note every
-passing attitude and gesture of the actors who were performing for his
-benefit.
-
-Some one knocked at the door, gently at first and then more loudly.
-Then, receiving no answer, the person’s footsteps could be heard
-retreating towards the landing. The firing of a cannon in the room would
-hardly have made George turn his head at that moment, much less the
-rapping of a servant’s knuckles upon a wooden panel. Several minutes
-elapsed, and then heavier footsteps were heard again, and the latch was
-turned and the door moved noiselessly on its hinges. Jonah Wood’s
-iron-grey head appeared in the opening. George had heard nothing and
-during several seconds the old gentleman watched him curiously. He had
-the greatest consideration for his son’s privacy when at work, though he
-could not readily understand the terribly disturbing effect of an
-interruption upon a brain so much more sensitively organised than his
-own. Now, however, the case was serious, and George must be interrupted,
-cost what it might. He was evidently unconscious that any one was in the
-room, and his back was turned as he sat. Jonah Wood resolved to be
-cautious.
-
-“George!” he whispered, rather hoarsely. But George did not hear.
-
-There was nothing to be done but to cross the room and rouse him. The
-old man stepped as softly as he could upon the uncarpeted wooden floor,
-and placed himself between the light and the writer. George looked up
-and started violently, so that his pen flew into the air and fell upon
-the boards. At the same time he uttered a short, sharp cry, neither an
-oath nor exclamation, but a sound such as a man might make who is
-unexpectedly and painfully wounded in battle. Then he saw his father and
-laughed nervously.
-
-“You frightened me. I did not see you come in,” he said quickly.
-
-“I am sorry,” said his father, not understanding at all how a man
-usually calm and courageous could be so easily startled. “It is rather
-important, or I would not interrupt you. Mr. Sherrington Trimm is down
-stairs.”
-
-“What does he want?” George asked vaguely and looking as though he had
-forgotten who Sherrington Trimm was.
-
-“He wants you, my boy. You must go down at once. It is very important.
-Tom Craik was buried yesterday.”
-
-“Buried!” exclaimed George. “I did not know he was dead.”
-
-“I understand that he died several days ago, in consequence of that fit
-of anger he had. You remember? What is the matter with you, George?”
-
-“Cannot you see what is the matter?” George cried a little impatiently.
-“I am just finishing my book. What if the old fellow is dead? He has had
-plenty of leisure to change his will—in all this time. What does Sherry
-want?”
-
-“He did not change his will, and Mr. Trimm wants to read it to you.
-George, you do not seem to realise that you are a very rich man, a very,
-very rich man,” repeated Jonah Wood with weighty emphasis.
-
-“It will do quite as well if he reads the confounded thing to you,” said
-George, picking up his pen from the floor beside him, examining the
-point and then dipping it into the ink.
-
-He was never quite sure how much of his indifference was assumed and how
-much of it was real, resulting from his extreme impatience to finish his
-work. But to Jonah Wood, it had all the appearance of being genuine.
-
-“I am surprised, George,” said the old gentleman, looking very grave.
-“Are you in your right mind? Are you feeling quite well? I am afraid
-this good news has upset you.”
-
-George rose from the table with a look of disgust, bent down and looked
-over the last lines he had written, and then stood up.
-
-“If nothing else will satisfy anybody, I suppose I must go down,” he
-said regretfully. “Why did not the old brute leave the money to you
-instead of to me? You do not imagine I am going to keep it, do you? Most
-of it is yours anyhow.”
-
-“I understand,” answered Jonah Wood, pushing him gently towards the
-door, “that the estate is large enough to cover what I lost four or five
-times over, if not more. It is very important——”
-
-“Do you mean to say it is as much as that?” George asked in some
-surprise.
-
-“That seems to be the impression,” answered his father with an odd
-laugh, which George had not heard for many years. Jonah Wood was ashamed
-of showing too much satisfaction. It was his principle never to make any
-exhibition of his feelings, but his voice could not be altogether
-controlled, and there was an unusual light in his eyes. George, who by
-this time had collected his senses, and was able to think of something
-besides his story, saw the change in his father’s face and understood
-it.
-
-“It will be jolly to be rich again, won’t it, father?” he said,
-familiarly and with more affection than he generally showed by manner or
-voice.
-
-“Very pleasant, very pleasant indeed,” answered Jonah Wood with the same
-odd laugh. “Mr. Trimm tells me he has left you the house as it stands
-with everything in it, and the horses—everything. I must say, George,
-the old man has made amends for all he did. It looks very like an act of
-conscience.”
-
-“Amends? Yes, with compound interest for a dozen years or more, if all
-this is true. Well, here goes the millionaire,” he exclaimed as they
-left the room together.
-
-It would be hard to imagine a position more completely disagreeable than
-that in which Sherrington Trimm was placed on that particular afternoon.
-It was bad enough to have to meet George at all after what had happened,
-but it was most unpleasant to appear as the executor of the very will
-which had caused so much trouble, to feel that he was bringing to the
-heir the very document which his wife had stolen out of his own office,
-and handing over to him the fortune which his wife had tried so hard to
-bring into his own daughter’s hands. But Sherrington Trimm’s reputation
-for honesty and his courageous self-possession had carried him through
-many difficult moments in life, and he would never have thought of
-deputing any one else to fulfil the repugnant task in his stead.
-
-Jonah Wood left his son at the door of the sitting-room and discreetly
-disappeared. George went in and found the lawyer standing before the
-fire with a roll of papers in his hands. He was a little pale and
-careworn, but his appearance was as neat and dapper and brisk as ever.
-
-“George,” he said frankly as he took his hand, “poor Tom has left you
-everything, as he said he would. Now, I can quite imagine that the sight
-of me is not exactly pleasant to you. But business is business and this
-has got to be put through, so just consider that I am the lawyer and
-forget that I am Sherry Trimm.”
-
-“I shall never forget that you are Sherry Trimm,” George answered. “You
-and I can avoid unpleasant subjects and be as good friends as ever.”
-
-“You are a good fellow, George. The best proof of it is that not a word
-has been breathed about this affair. We have simply announced that the
-engagement is broken off.”
-
-“Then Mamie has refused to change her mind,” observed George, wondering
-how he could ever have been engaged to marry her, and how he could have
-forgotten that at his last meeting with Sherry Trimm he had still left
-the matter open, refusing to withdraw his promise. But between that day
-and this he had lived through many emotions and changing scenes in the
-playhouse of his brain, and his own immediate past seemed immensely
-distant from his present.
-
-“Mamie would not change her mind, if I would let her,” Trimm answered
-briefly. “Let us get to business. Here is the will. I opened it
-yesterday after the funeral in the presence of the family and the
-witnesses as usual in such cases.”
-
-“Excuse me,” George said. “I am very glad that I was not present, but
-would it not have been proper to let me know?”
-
-“It would have been, of course. But as there was no obligation in the
-matter, I did not. I supposed that you would hear of the death almost as
-soon as it was known. You and your father were known to be on bad terms
-with Tom and if you had been sent for it would have looked as though we
-had all known what was in the will. People would have supposed in that
-case that you must have known it also, and you would have been blamed
-for not treating the old gentleman with more consideration than you did.
-I have often heard you say sharp things about him at the club. This is a
-surprise to you. There is no reason for letting anybody suppose that it
-is not. A lot of small good reasons made one big good one between them.”
-
-“I see,” said George. “Thank you. You were very wise.”
-
-He took the document from Trimm’s hands and read it hastily. The touch
-of it was disagreeable to him as he remembered where he had last seen
-it.
-
-“I had supposed that he would make another after what I said to him,”
-George remarked. “You are quite sure he did not?”
-
-“Positive. He never allowed it to be out of his sight after he found it.
-It was under his pillow when he died. The last words that anybody could
-understand were to the effect that you should have the money, whether
-you wanted it or not. It was a fixed idea with him. I suppose you know
-why. He felt that some of it belonged to your father by right. The
-transaction by which he got it was legal—but peculiar. There are
-peculiarities in my wife’s family.”
-
-Sherry Trimm looked away and pulled his grizzled moustache nervously.
-
-“There will be a good many formalities,” he continued. “Tom owned
-property in several different States. I have brought you the schedule.
-You can have possession in New York immediately, of course. It will take
-some little time to manage the rest, proving the will half a dozen times
-over. If you care to move into the house to-morrow, there is no
-objection, because there is nobody to object.”
-
-“I have a proposition to make,” said George. “My father is a far better
-man of business than I. Could you not tell me in round numbers about
-what I have to expect, and then go over these papers with him?”
-
-“In round numbers,” repeated Trimm thoughtfully. “The fact is, he
-managed a great deal of his property himself. I suppose I could tell you
-within a million or two.”
-
-“A million or two!” exclaimed George. Sherry Trimm smiled at the
-intonation.
-
-“You are an enormously rich man,” he said quietly. “The estate is worth
-anywhere from twelve to fifteen millions of dollars.”
-
-“All mine?”
-
-“Look at the will. He never spent a third of his income, so far as I
-could find out.”
-
-George said nothing more, but began to walk up and down the room
-nervously. He detested everything connected with money, and had only a
-relative idea of its value, but he was staggered by the magnitude of the
-fortune thus suddenly thrown into his hands. He understood now the
-expression he had seen on his father’s face.
-
-“I had no conception of the amount,” he said at last. “I thought it
-might be a million.”
-
-“A million!” laughed Trimm scornfully. “A man does not live, as he
-lived, on forty or fifty thousand a year. It needs more than that. A
-million is nothing nowadays. Every man who wears a good coat has a
-million. There is not a man living in Fifth Avenue who has less than a
-million.”
-
-“I wonder how it looks on paper,” said George. “I will try and go
-through the schedule with you myself.”
-
-An hour later George was once more in his room. For a few moments he
-stood looking through the window at the old familiar brick wall and at
-the windows of the house beyond, but his reflections were very vague and
-shapeless. He could not realise his position nor his importance, as he
-drummed a tattoo on the glass with his nails. He was trying to think of
-the changes that were inevitable in the immediate future, of his life in
-another house, of the faces of his old acquaintances and of the
-expression some of them would wear. He wondered what Johnson would say.
-The name, passing through his mind, recalled his career, his work and
-the unfinished chapter that lay on the table behind him. In an instant
-his brain returned to the point at which he had been interrupted. Tom
-Craik, Sherry Trimm, the will and the millions vanished into darkness,
-and before he was fairly aware of it he was writing again.
-
-The days were short and he was obliged to light the old kerosene lamp
-with the green shade which had served him through so many hours of
-labour and study. The action was purely mechanical and did not break his
-train of thought, nor did it suggest that in a few months he would think
-it strange that he should ever have been obliged to do such a thing for
-himself. He wrote steadily on to the end, and signed his name and dated
-the manuscript before he rose from his seat. Then he stretched himself,
-yawned and looked at his watch, returned to the table and laid the
-sheets neatly together in their order with the rest and put the whole
-into a drawer.
-
-“That job is done,” he said aloud, in a tone of profound satisfaction.
-“And now, I can think of something else.”
-
-Thereupon, without as much as thinking of resting himself after the
-terrible strain he had sustained during ten days, he proceeded to dress
-himself with a scrupulous care for the evening, and went down stairs to
-dinner. He found his father in his accustomed place before the fire,
-reading as usual, and holding his heavy book rigidly before his eyes in
-a way that would have made an ordinary man’s hand ache.
-
-“I have finished my book!” cried George as he entered the room.
-
-“Ah, I am delighted to hear it. Do you mean to say that you have been
-writing all the afternoon since Mr. Trimm went away?”
-
-“Until half an hour ago.”
-
-“Well, you have exceptionally strong nerves,” said the old gentleman,
-mechanically raising his book again. Then as though he were willing to
-make a concession to circumstances for once in his life, he closed it
-with a solemn clapping sound and laid it down.
-
-“George, my boy,” he said impressively, “you are enormously wealthy. Do
-you realise the fact?”
-
-“I am also enormously hungry,” said George with a laugh. “Is there any
-cause or reason in the nature of the cook or of anything else why you
-and I should not be fed?”
-
-“To tell the truth, I had a little surprise for you,” answered his
-father. “I thought we ought to do something to commemorate the event, so
-I went out and got a brace of canvas-backs from Delmonico’s and a bottle
-of good wine. Kate is roasting the ducks and the champagne is on the
-ice. It was a little late when I got back—sorry to keep you waiting, my
-boy.”
-
-“Sorry!” cried George. “The idea of being sorry for anything when there
-are canvas-backs and champagne in the house. You dear old man! I will
-pay you for this, though. You shall live on the fat of the land for the
-rest of your days!”
-
-“Enough is as good as a feast,” observed Jonah Wood with great gravity.
-
-“What roaring feasts we will have—or what stupendously plentiful
-enoughs, if you like it better! Father, you are better already. I heard
-you laugh to-day as you used to laugh when I was a boy.”
-
-“A little prosperity will do us both good,” said the old gentleman, who
-was rapidly warming into geniality.
-
-“I say,” suggested George. “I have finished my book, and you have
-nothing to do. Let us pack up our traps and go to Paris and paint the
-town a vivid scarlet.”
-
-“What?” asked Jonah Wood, to whom slang had always been a mystery.
-
-“Paint the town red,” repeated George. “In short, have a spree, a lark,
-a jollification, you and I.”
-
-“I would like to see Paris again, well enough, if that is what you mean.
-By the way, George, your heart does not seem to trouble you much, just
-at present.”
-
-“Why should it? I sometimes wish it would, in the right direction.”
-
-“You have your choice now, George, you have your choice, now, of the
-whole female population of the globe——”
-
-“Of all the girls beside the water, From Janeiro to Gibraltar, as the
-old song says,” laughed George.
-
-“Precisely so. You can have any of them for the asking. Money is a great
-power, my boy, a great power. You must be careful how you use it.”
-
-“I shall not use it. I shall give it all to you to spend because it will
-amuse you, and I will go on writing books because that is the only thing
-I can do approximately well. Do you know? I believe I shall be
-ridiculous in the character of the rich man.”
-
-
-
-
- CHAPTER XXIX.
-
-
-Three years later George Wood was sitting alone on a winter’s afternoon
-in the library where Thomas Craik had once given him his views on life
-in general and on ambition in particular. It was already almost dark,
-for the days were very short, and two lamps shed a soft light from above
-upon the broad polished table.
-
-The man’s face had changed during the years that had passed since he had
-found himself free from his engagement to marry his cousin. The angular
-head had grown more massive, the shadows about the eyes and temples had
-deepened, the complexion was paler and less youthful, the expression
-more determined than ever, and yet more kind and less scornful. In those
-years he had seen much and had accomplished much, and he had learned to
-know at last what it meant to feel with the heart, instead of with the
-sensibilities, human or artistic. His money had not spoiled him. On the
-contrary, the absence of all preoccupations in the matter of his
-material welfare, had left the man himself free to think, to act and to
-feel according to his natural instincts.
-
-At the present moment he was absorbed in thought. The familiar sheet of
-paper lay before him, and he held his pen in his hand, but the point had
-long been dry, and had long ceased to move over the smooth surface.
-There was a number at the top of the page, and a dozen lines had been
-written, continuing a conversation that had gone before. But the
-imaginary person had broken off in the middle of his saying, and in the
-theatre of the writer’s fancy the stage of his own life had suddenly
-appeared, and his own self was among the players, acting the acts and
-speaking the speeches of long ago, while the owner of the old self
-watched and listened to the piece with fascinated interest, commenting
-critically upon what passed before his eyes, and upon the words that
-rang through the waking dream. The habit of expression was so strong
-that his own thoughts took shape as though he were writing them down.
-
-“They have played the parts of the three fates in my life,” he said to
-himself. “Constance was my Clotho, Mamie was my Lachesis—Grace is my
-Atropos. I was not so heartless in those first days, as I have sometimes
-fancied that I was. I loved my Clotho, after a young fashion. She took
-me out of darkness and chaos and made me an active, real being. When I
-see how wretchedly unhappy I used to be, and when I think how she first
-showed me that I was able to do something in the world, it does not seem
-strange that I should have worshipped her as a sort of goddess. If
-things had gone otherwise, if she had taken me instead of refusing me on
-that first of May, if I had married her, we might have been very happy
-together, for a time, perhaps for always. But we were unlike in the
-wrong way; our points of difference did not complement each other. She
-has married Dr. Drinkwater, the Reverend Doctor Drinkwater, a good man
-twenty years older than herself, and she seems perfectly contented. The
-test of fitness lies in reversing the order of events. If to-day her
-good husband were to die, could I take his place in her love or
-estimation? Certainly not. If Grace had married the clergyman, could
-Constance have been to me what Grace is, could I have loved her as I
-love this woman who will never love me? Assuredly not; the thing is
-impossible. I loved Constance with one half of myself, and as far as I
-went I was in earnest. Perhaps it was the higher, more intellectual part
-of me, for I did not love her because she was a woman, but because she
-was unlike all other women—in other words, a sort of angel. Angels may
-have loved women in the days of the giants, but no man can love an angel
-as a woman ought to be loved. As for me, my ears are wearied by too much
-angelic music, the harmonies are too thin and delicate, the notes lack
-character, the melodies all end in one close. I used to think that there
-was no such thing as friendship. I have changed my mind. Constance is a
-very good friend to me, and I to her, though neither of us can
-understand the other’s life any longer, as we understood each other when
-she took up the distaff of my life and first set the spindle whirling.
-
-“Was I heartless with poor Mamie? I suppose I was, because I made her
-believe for a while that I loved her. Let us be honest. I felt
-something, I made myself believe that I felt something which was like
-love. It was of the baser kind. It was the temptation of the eye, the
-fascination of a magnetic vitality, the flattery of my vanity in seeing
-myself so loved. I lived for months in an enchanted palace in an
-enchanted garden, where she was the enchantress. Everything contributed
-to awaken in me the joy of mere life, the belief that reality was better
-than romance, and that, in love, it was better to receive than to give.
-I was like a man in a badly conceived novel, with whom everything rests
-on a false basis, in which the scenery is false, the passion is false,
-and the belief in the future is most false of all. And how commonplace
-it all seems, as I look back upon it. I do not remember to have once
-felt a pain like a knife just under the heart, in all that time, though
-my blood ran fast enough sometimes. And it all went on so smoothly as
-Lachesis let the thread spin through her pretty fingers. Who would have
-believed that a man could be at once so fooled and so loved? I was sorry
-that I could not love her, even after we knew all that her mother had
-done. I remember that I began a book on that very day. Heartless of me,
-was it not? If she had been Grace I should never have written again. But
-she was only Lachesis; the thread turned under her hand, and spun on in
-spite of her, and in spite of itself—to its end.
-
-“Grace is the end. There can be no loving after this. My father tells me
-that I am working too hard and that I am growing prematurely old. It is
-not the work that does it. It is something that wears out the life from
-the core. And yet I would not be without it. There is that thrust again,
-that says I am not deceiving myself. Grace holds the thread and will
-neither cut it, nor let it run on through her fingers. Heaven knows, I
-am not a sentimental man! But for the physical pain I feel when I think
-of losing her, I should laugh at myself and let her slip down to the
-middle distance of other memories, not quite out of sight, nor yet quite
-out of mind, but wholly out of my heart. I have tried it many a time,
-but the trouble grows instead of wearing out. I have tried wandering
-about the earth in most known and unknown directions. It never did me
-any good. I wonder whether she knows! After all it will be four years
-next summer since poor John Bond was drowned, and everybody says she has
-forgotten him. But she is not a woman who forgets, any more than she is
-one to waste her life in a perpetual mourning. To speak may be to cut
-the thread. That would be the end, indeed! I should see her after that,
-of course, but it would never be the same again. She would know my
-secret then and all would be over, the hours together, the talks, the
-touch of hands that means so much to me and so little to her. And yet,
-to know—to know at last the end of it all—and the great ‘perhaps’ the
-great ‘if’—if she should! But there is no ‘perhaps,’ and there can be no
-‘if.’ She is my fate, and it is my fate that there should be no end to
-this, but the end of life itself. Better so. Better to have loved ever
-so unhappily, than to have been married to any of the Constances or the
-Mamies of this world! Heigho—I suppose people think that there is
-nothing I cannot have for my money! Nothing? There is all that could
-make life worth living, and which millions cannot buy!”
-
-The curtain fell before the little stage, and the eyes of the lonely man
-closed with an expression of intense pain, as he let his forehead rest
-in the palm of his hand.
-
- Typography by J. S. Cushing & Co., Boston, U.S.A.
-
- Presswork by Berwick & Smith, Boston, U.S.A.
-
-
-
-
- MACMILLAN’S DOLLAR SERIES
-
-
- OF
-
- WORKS BY POPULAR AUTHORS.
-
- _Crown 8vo. Cloth extra. $1.00 each._
-
-
- BY F. MARION CRAWFORD.
-
-With the solitary exception of Mrs. Oliphant, we have no living novelist
-more distinguished for variety of theme and range of imaginative outlook
-than Mr. Marion Crawford.—_Spectator._
-
- THE CHILDREN OF THE KING. (_Ready in January._)
- MR. ISAACS: A Tale of Modern India.
- DR. CLAUDIUS: A True Story.
- ZOROASTER.
- A TALE OF A LONELY PARISH.
- SARACINESCA. A New Novel.
- MARZIO’S CRUCIFIX.
- WITH THE IMMORTALS.
- GREIFENSTEIN.
- SANT’ ILARIO.
- A CIGARETTE-MAKER’S ROMANCE.
- KHALED: A Tale of Arabia.
- THE WITCH OF PRAGUE. With numerous Illustrations by W. J. HENNESSY.
- THE THREE FATES.
-
-
- BY CHARLES DICKENS.
-
-It would be difficult to imagine a better edition of Dickens at the
-price than that which is now appearing in Macmillan’s Series of Dollar
-Novels.—_Boston Beacon._
-
- THE PICKWICK PAPERS. 50 Illustrations. (_Ready._)
- OLIVER TWIST. 27 Illustrations. (_Ready._)
- NICHOLAS NICKLEBY. 44 Illustrations. (_Ready._)
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- SKETCHES BY BOZ. 44 Illustrations. (_Ready._)
- DOMBEY AND SON. 40 Illustrations. (_Ready._)
- CHRISTMAS BOOKS. 65 Illustrations. (_December._)
- DAVID COPPERFIELD. 41 Illustrations. (_January._)
- AMERICAN NOTES, AND PICTURES FROM ITALY. 4 Illustrations (_Feb._)
-
-
- BY CHARLES KINGSLEY.
-
- ALTON LOCKE.
- HEREWARD.
- HEROES.
- WESTWARD HO!
- HYPATIA.
- TWO YEARS AGO.
- WATER BABIES. Illustrated.
- YEAST.
-
-
- BY HENRY JAMES.
-
-He has the power of seeing with the artistic perception of the few, and
-of writing about what he has seen, so that the many can understand and
-feel with him.—_Saturday Review._
-
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- THE ASPEN PAPERS AND OTHER STORIES.
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-
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-
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-reading. The literary workmanship is excellent, and all the windings of
-the stories are worked with patient fulness and a skill not often
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- THE HEROES OF ASGARD.
- A YORK AND LANCASTER ROSE.
-
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- BY D. CHRISTIE MURRAY.
-
-Few modern novelists can tell a story of English country life better
-than Mr. D. Christie Murray.—_Spectator._
-
- AUNT RACHEL.
- THE WEAKER VESSEL.
- SCHWARZ.
-
-
- BY MRS. OLIPHANT.
-
-Has the charm of style, the literary quality and flavour that never
-fails to please.—_Saturday Review._
-
-At her best she is, with one or two exceptions, the best of living
-English novelists.—_Academy._
-
- A SON OF THE SOIL. New Edition.
- THE CURATE IN CHARGE. New Edition.
- YOUNG MUSGRAVE. New Edition.
- HE THAT WILL NOT WHEN HE MAY. New and Cheaper Edition.
- SIR TOM. New Edition.
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-
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- BY J. H. SHORTHOUSE.
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-
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- JOHN INGLESANT.
- SIR PERCIVAL.
- THE COUNTESS EVE.
- A TEACHER OF THE VIOLIN.
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-
-
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-
- (The Author of “John Halifax, Gentleman.”)
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- ADVENTURES OF A BROWNIE.
- ALICE LEARMONT.
- OUR YEAR.
-
-
- BY MRS. HUMPHRY WARD.
-
-Mrs. Ward, with her “Robert Elsmere” and “David Grieve,” has established
-with extraordinary rapidity an enduring reputation as one who has
-expressed what is deepest and most real in the thought of the time....
-They are dramas of the time vitalized by the hopes, fears, doubts, and
-despairing struggles after higher ideals which are swaying the minds of
-men and women of this generation.—_New York Tribune._
-
- ROBERT ELSMERE.
- THE HISTORY OF DAVID GRIEVE.
- MILLY AND OLLY.
-
-
- BY RUDYARD KIPLING.
-
-Every one knows that it is not easy to write good short stories. Mr.
-Kipling has changed all that. Here are forty of them, averaging less
-than eight pages a-piece; there is not a dull one in the lot. Some are
-tragedy, some broad comedy, some tolerably sharp satire. The time has
-passed to ignore or undervalue Mr. Kipling. He has won his spurs and
-taken his prominent place in the arena. This, as the legitimate edition,
-should be preferred to the pirated ones by all such as care for honesty
-in letters.—_Churchman_, New York.
-
- PLAIN TALES FROM THE HILLS.
- LIFE’S HANDICAP
-
-
- BY AMY LEVY.
-
- REUBEN SACHS.
-
-
- BY M. McLENNAN.
-
- MUCKLE JOCK, AND OTHER STORIES.
-
-
- BY THOMAS HUGHES.
-
- TOM BROWN’S SCHOOLDAYS. Illustrated.
- RUGBY, TENNESSEE.
-
-
- BY ROLF BOLDREWOOD.
-
-Mr. Boldrewood can tell what he knows with great point and vigour, and
-there is no better reading than the adventurous parts of his
-books.—_Saturday Review._
-
- ROBBERY UNDER ARMS.
- NEVERMORE.
- SYDNEY-SIDE SAXON.
-
-
- BY SIR HENRY CUNNINGHAM, K.C.I.E.
-
-Interesting as specimens of romance, the style of writing is so
-excellent—scholarly and at the same time easy and natural—that the
-volumes are worth reading on that account alone. But there is also
-masterly description of persons, places, and things; skilful analysis of
-character; a constant play of wit and humour; and a happy gift of
-instantaneous portraiture.—_St. James’s Gazette._
-
- THE CŒRULEANS: A VACATION IDYLL.
-
-
- BY GEORGE GISSING.
-
-We earnestly commend the book for its high literary merit, its deep
-bright interest, and for the important and healthful lessons that it
-teaches.—_Boston Home Journal._
-
- DENZIL QUARRIER.
-
-
- BY W. CLARK RUSSELL.
-
-The descriptions are wonderfully realistic ... and the breath of the
-ocean is over and through every page. The plot is very novel indeed, and
-is developed with skill and tact. Altogether one of the cleverest and
-most entertaining of Mr. Russell’s many works.—_Boston Times._
-
- A STRANGE ELOPEMENT.
-
-
- BY THE HON. EMILY LAWLESS.
-
-It is a charming story, full of natural life, fresh in style and
-thought, pure in tone, and refined in feeling.—_Nineteenth Century._
-
-A strong and original story. It is marked by originality, freshness,
-insight, a rare graphic power, and as rare a psychological perception.
-It is in fact a better story than “Hurrish,” and that is saying a good
-deal.—_New York Tribune._
-
- GRANIA: THE STORY OF AN ISLAND.
-
-
- BY A NEW AUTHOR.
-
-We should not be surprised if this should prove to be the most popular
-book of the present season; it cannot fail to be one of the most
-remarkable.—_Literary World._
-
- TIM: A STORY OF SCHOOL LIFE.
-
-
- BY LANOE FALCONER.
-
- (Author of “Mademoiselle Ixe.”)
-
-It is written with cleverness and brightness, and there is so much human
-nature in it that the attention of the reader is held to the end.... The
-book shows far greater powers than were evident in “Mademoiselle Ixe,”
-and if the writer who is hidden behind the _nom de guerre_ Lanoe
-Falconer goes on, she is likely to make for herself no inconsiderable
-name in fiction.—_Boston Courier._
-
- CECILIA DE NOËL.
-
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-
-Rev. Alfred J. Church, M.A., has long been doing valiant service in
-literature in presenting his stories of the early centuries, so clear is
-his style and so remarkable his gift of enfolding historical events and
-personages with the fabric of a romance, entertaining and oftentimes
-fascinating.... One has the feeling that he is reading an accurate
-description of real scenes, that the characters are living—so masterly
-is Professor Church’s ability to reclothe history and make it as
-interesting as a romance.—_Boston Times._
-
- _Just ready._
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
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-
-
- TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES
-
-
- 1. Added “the” between “spend” and “best” on p. 342.
- 2. Silently corrected typographical errors.
- 3. Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.
- 4. Enclosed italics font in _underscores_.
-
-
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Three Fates, by F. Marion Crawford
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Three Fates
-
-Author: F. Marion Crawford
-
-Release Date: November 9, 2016 [EBook #53486]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE THREE FATES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Richard Tonsing and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images generously made available by The
-Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class='tnotes covernote'>
-
-<p class='c000'><strong>Transcriber's Note:</strong></p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='ph1'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>THE THREE FATES</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c002' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='figcenter id001'>
-<img src='images/i_002.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' />
-</div>
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-
-<div>
- <h1 class='c004'>THE THREE FATES</h1>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>BY</div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='xlarge'>F. MARION CRAWFORD</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='small'>AUTHOR OF “MR. ISAACS,” “DR. CLAUDIUS,” “SARACINESCA,” ETC.</span></div>
- <div class='c002'><span class='xlarge'>London</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='xlarge'>MACMILLAN AND CO.</span></div>
- <div class='c003'>AND NEW YORK</div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='large'>1893</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><em>All rights reserved</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div><span class='sc'>Copyright</span>, 1891,</div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='sc'>By</span> MACMILLAN AND CO.</div>
- <div class='c003'><em>Set up and electrotyped January, 1892.</em></div>
- <div><em>Reprinted April, May, October, 1892.</em></div>
- <div class='c002'><span class='sc'>Typography by J. S. Cushing &amp; Co., Boston, U.S.A.</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><span class='sc'>Presswork by Berwick &amp; Smith, Boston, U.S.A.</span></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>To</div>
- <div class='c003'>FREDERICK MACMILLAN</div>
- <div class='c003'>AN EXPRESSION OF GRATITUDE</div>
- <div class='c003'>FROM AN AUTHOR TO HIS PUBLISHER</div>
- <div class='c003'>AND OF HIGH ESTEEM ENTERTAINED</div>
- <div class='c003'>BY ONE MAN FOR ANOTHER</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='lg-container-l'>
- <div class='linegroup'>
- <div class='group'>
- <div class='line'><span class='sc'>Rome</span>, <em>February 21, 1892</em></div>
- </div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='pbb'>
- <hr class='pb c003' />
-</div>
-
-<div class='ph1'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>THE THREE FATES.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER I.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Jonah Wood was bitterly disappointed in his son.
-During five and twenty years he had looked in vain for
-the development of those qualities in George, which
-alone, in his opinion, could insure success. But though
-George could talk intelligently about the great movements
-of business in New York, it was clear by this time
-that he did not possess what his father called business
-instincts. The old man could have forgiven him his
-defective appreciation in the matter of dollars and cents,
-however, if he had shown the slightest inclination to
-adopt one of the regular professions; in other words, if
-George had ceased to waste his time in the attempt to
-earn money with his pen, and had submitted to becoming
-a scribe in a lawyer’s office, old Wood would have
-been satisfied. The boy’s progress might have been
-slow, but it would have been sure.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was strange to see how this elderly man, who had
-been ruined by the exercise of his own business faculties,
-still pinned his faith upon his own views and theories
-of finance, and regarded it as a real misfortune to
-be the father of a son who thought differently from himself.
-It would have satisfied the height of his ambition
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span>to see George installed as a clerk on a nominal salary in
-one of the great banking houses. Possibly, at an earlier
-period, and before George had finally refused to enter a
-career of business, there may have been in the bottom
-of the old man’s heart a hope that his son might some
-day become a financial power, and wreak vengeance for
-his own and his father’s losses upon Thomas Craik or
-his heirs after him; but if this wish existed Jonah Wood
-had honestly tried to put it out of the way. He was of
-a religious disposition, and his moral rectitude was above
-all doubt. He did not forgive his enemies, but he sincerely
-meant to do so, and did his best not to entertain
-any hope of revenge.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The story of his wrongs was a simple one. He had
-formerly been a very successful man. Of a good New
-England family, he had come to New York when very
-young, possessed of a small capital, full of integrity, industry,
-and determination. At the age of forty he was
-at the head of a banking firm which had for a time
-enjoyed a reputation of some importance. Then he had
-married a young lady of good birth and possessing a
-little fortune, to whom he had been attached for years
-and who had waited for him with touching fidelity.
-Twelve months later, she had died in giving birth to
-George. Possibly the terrible shock weakened Jonah
-Wood’s nerves and disturbed the balance of his faculties.
-At all events it was at this time that he began to enter
-into speculation. At first he was very successful, and
-his success threw him into closer intimacy with Thomas
-Craik, a cousin of his dead wife’s. For a time everything
-prospered with the bank, while Wood acquired the habit
-of following Craik’s advice. On an ill-fated day, however,
-the latter persuaded him to invest largely in a
-certain railway not yet begun, but which was completed
-in a marvellously short space of time. In the course of
-a year or two it was evident that the road, which Craik
-insisted on running upon the most ruinous principles,
-must soon become bankrupt. It had of course been built
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>to compete with an old established line; the usual war
-of rates set in, the old road suffered severely, and the
-young one was ruined. This was precisely what Craik
-had anticipated. So soon as the bankruptcy was declared
-and the liquidation terminated, he bought up every bond
-and share upon which he could lay his hands. Wood
-was ruined, together with a number of other heavy
-investors. The road, however, having ceased to pay
-interest on its debts continued to run at rates disastrous
-to its more honest competitor, and before long the
-latter was obliged in self-defence to buy up its rival.
-When that extremity was reached Thomas Craik was in
-possession of enough bonds and stock to give him a controlling
-interest, and he sold the ruined railway at his
-own price, realising a large fortune by the transaction.
-Wood was not only financially broken; his reputation,
-too, had suffered in the catastrophe. At first, people
-looked askance at him, believing that he had got a share
-of the profits, and that he was only pretending poverty
-until the scandal should blow over, though he had in
-reality sacrificed almost everything he possessed in the
-honourable liquidation of the bank’s affairs, and found
-himself, at the age of fifty-seven, in possession only of
-the small fortune that had been his wife’s, and of the
-small house which had escaped the general ruin, and in
-which he now lived. Thomas Craik had robbed him, as
-he had robbed many others, and Jonah Wood knew it,
-though there was no possibility of ever recovering a
-penny of his losses. His nerve was gone, and by the
-time people had discovered that he was the most honest
-of men, he was more than half forgotten by those he had
-known best. He had neither the energy nor the courage
-to begin life again, and although he had cleared his reputation
-of all blame, he knew that he had made the great
-mistake, and that no one would ever again trust to his
-judgment. It seemed easiest to live in the little house,
-to get what could be got out of life for himself and his
-son on an income of scarcely two thousand dollars, and
-to shut himself out from his former acquaintance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>And yet, though his own career had ended in such
-lamentable failure, he would gladly have seen George
-begin where he had begun. George would have succeeded
-in doing all those things which he himself had
-left undone, and he might have lived to see established
-on a firm basis the great fortune which for a few brief
-years had been his in a floating state. But George could
-not be brought to understand this point of view. His
-youthful recollections were connected with monetary disaster,
-and his first boyish antipathies had been conceived
-against everything that bore the name of business.
-What he felt for the career of the money-maker was
-more than antipathy; it amounted to a positive horror
-which he could not overcome. From time to time his
-father returned to the old story of his wrongs and misfortunes,
-going over the tale as he sat with George
-through the long winter evenings, and entering into
-every detail of the transaction which had ruined him.
-In justice to the young man it must be admitted that he
-was patient on those occasions, and listened with outward
-calm to the long technical explanations, the interminable
-concatenation of figures and the jarring cadence
-of phrases that all ended with the word dollars. But the
-talk was as painful to him as a violin played out of tune
-is to a musician, and it reacted upon his nerves and produced
-physical pain of an acute kind. He could set his
-features in an expression of respectful attention, but he
-could not help twisting his long smooth fingers together
-under the edge of the table, where his father could not
-see them. The very name of money disgusted him, and
-when the great failure had been talked of in the evening
-it haunted his dreams throughout the night and
-destroyed his rest, so that he awoke with a sense of nervousness
-and distress from which he could not escape
-until late in the following day.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Jonah Wood saw more of this peculiarity than his son
-suspected, though he failed to understand it. With
-him, nervousness took a different form, manifesting
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>itself in an abnormal anxiety concerning George’s welfare,
-combined with an unfortunate disposition to find
-fault. Of late, indeed, he had not been able to accuse
-the young man of idleness, since he was evidently working
-to the utmost of his strength, though his occupations
-brought him but little return. It seemed a pity to
-Jonah Wood that so much good time and so much young
-energy should be wasted over pen, ink, paper, and books
-which left no record of a daily substantial gain. He,
-too, slept little, though his iron-grey face betrayed nothing
-of what passed in his mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He loved his son in his own untrusting way. It was
-his affection, combined with his inability to believe
-much good of what he loved, that undermined and embittered
-the few pleasures still left to him. He had never
-seen any hope except in money, and since George hated
-the very mention of lucre there could be no hope for him
-either. A good man, a scrupulously honest man according
-to his lights, he could only see goodness from one
-point of view and virtue represented in one dress.
-Goodness was obedience to parental authority, and virtue
-the imitation of parental ideas. George believed
-that obedience should play no part in determining what
-he should do with his talent, and that imitation, though
-it be the sincerest flattery, may lay the foundation for
-the most hopeless of all failures, the failure to do that
-for which a man is best adapted. George had not deliberately
-chosen a literary career because he felt himself
-fitted for it. He was in reality far too modest to look
-forward from the first to the ultimate satisfaction of his
-ambitions. His lonely life had driven him to writing
-as a means of expressing himself without incurring his
-father’s criticism and contradiction. Not understanding
-in the least the nature of imagination, he believed himself
-lacking in this respect, but he had at once found an
-immense satisfaction in writing down his opinions concerning
-certain new books that had fallen into his hands.
-Then, being emboldened by that belief in his own judgment
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>which young men acquire very easily when they
-are not brought into daily contact with their intellectual
-equals, he had ventured to offer the latest of his attempts
-to one editor and then to another and another. At last
-he had found one who chanced to be in a human humour
-and who glanced at one of the papers.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not worthless,” said the autocrat, “but it is
-quite useless. Everybody has done with the book
-months ago. Do you want to earn a little money by
-reviewing?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George expressed his readiness to do so with alacrity.
-The editor scribbled half a dozen words on a slip of
-paper from a block and handed it to George, telling him
-where to take it. As a first result the young man carried
-away a couple of volumes of new-born trash upon
-which to try his hand. A quarter of what he wrote was
-published in the literary column of the newspaper.
-He had yet to learn the cynical practice of counting
-words, upon which so much depends in dealing with the
-daily press, but the idea of actually earning something,
-no matter how little, overcame his first feeling of disgust
-at the nature of the work. In time he acquired the
-necessary tricks and did very well. By sheer determination
-he devoted all his best hours of the day to the
-drudgery of second class criticism, and only allowed
-himself to write what was agreeable to his own brain
-when the day’s work was done.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The idea of producing a book did not suggest itself to
-him. In his own opinion he had none of the necessary
-gifts for original writing, while he fancied that he
-possessed those of the critic in a rather unusual degree.
-His highest ambition was to turn out a volume of essays
-on other people’s doings and writings, and he was constantly
-labouring in his leisure moments at long papers
-treating of celebrated works, in what he believed to be a
-spirit of profound analysis. As yet no one had bestowed
-the slightest attention upon his efforts; no serious article
-of his had found its way into the press, though a goodly
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>number of his carefully copied manuscripts had issued
-from the offices of various periodicals in the form of
-waste paper. Strange to say, he was not discouraged by
-these failures. The satisfaction, so far as he had known
-any, had consisted in the writing down of his views;
-and though he wished it were possible to turn his ink-stained
-pages into money, his natural detestation of all
-business transactions whatsoever made him extremely
-philosophical in repeated failure. Even in regard to
-his daily drudgery, which was regularly paid, the least
-pleasant moment was the one when he had to begin his
-round from one newspaper cashier to another to receive
-the little cheques which made him independent of his
-father so far as his only luxuries of new books and
-tobacco were concerned. Pride, indeed, was now at the
-bottom of his resolution to continue in the uninteresting
-course that had been opened before him. Having once
-succeeded in buying for himself what he wanted or needed
-beyond his daily bread he would have been ashamed to
-ever go again for pocket-money to his father.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The nature of this occupation, which he would not
-relinquish, was beginning to produce its natural effect
-upon his character. He felt that he was better than his
-work, and the inevitable result ensued. He felt that he
-was hampered and tied, and that every hour spent in
-such labour was a page stolen from the book of his reputation;
-that he was giving for a pitiful wage the precious
-time in which something important might have been
-accomplished, and that his life would turn out a failure
-if it continued to run on much longer in the same groove.
-And yet he assumed that it would be absolutely impossible
-for him to abandon his drudgery in order to devote
-himself solely to the series of essays on which he had
-pinned his hopes of success. His serious work, as he
-called it, made little progress when interrupted at every
-step by the necessity for writing twaddle about trash.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It may be objected that George Wood should not have
-written twaddle, but should have employed his best
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>energies in the improvement of second class literature
-by systematically telling the truth about it. Unfortunately
-the answer to such a stricture is not far to seek.
-If he had written what he thought, the newspapers
-would have ceased to employ him; not that it is altogether
-impossible to write honestly about the great rivers
-of minor books which flow east and west and north and
-south from the publishers’ gardens, but because the
-critic who has the age, experience, and talent to bestow
-faint praise without inflicting damnation commands a
-high price and cannot be wasted on little authors and
-their little publications. The beginner often knows that
-he is writing twaddle and regrets it, and he very likely
-knows how to write in strains of enthusiastic eulogium
-or of viciously cruel abuse; but though he have all these
-things, he has not yet acquired the unaffected charity
-which covers a multitude of sins, and which is the result
-of an ancient and wise good feeling entertained between
-editors, publishers and critics. He cannot really feel
-mildly well disposed towards a book he despises, and his
-only chance of expressing gentle sentiments not his own,
-lies in the plentiful use of unmitigated twaddle. If he
-remains a critic, he is either lifted out of the sphere of
-the daily saleable trash to that of serious first class literature,
-or else he imbibes through the pores of his soul
-such proportional parts of the editor’s and the publisher’s
-wishes as shall combine in his own character and produce
-the qualities which they both desire to find there and to
-see expressed in his paragraphs.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It could not be said that George Wood was discontented
-with what he found to do, so much as with being
-constantly hindered from doing something better. And
-that better thing which he would have done, and believed
-that he could have done, was in reality far from having
-reached the stage of being clearly defined. He had
-never felt any strong liking for fiction, and his mind had
-been nourished upon unusually solid intellectual food,
-while the outward circumstances of his life had necessarily
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>left much to his imagination, which to most young
-men of five and twenty is already matter of experience.
-As a boy he had been too much with older people, and
-had therefore thought too much to be boyish. Possibly,
-too, he had seen more than was good for him, for his
-father had left him but a short time at school in the days
-of their prosperity, and, being unable to leave New
-York for any length of time, had more than once sent
-him abroad with an elderly tutor from whom the lad had
-acquired all sorts of ideas that were too big for him.
-He had been wrongly supposed to be of a delicate constitution,
-too, and had been indulged in all manner of
-intellectual whims and fancies, whereby he had gained
-a smattering of many sciences and literatures at an age
-when he ought to have been following a regular course
-of instruction. Then, before he was thought old enough
-to enter a university, the crash had come.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Jonah Wood was far too conscientious a man not to
-sacrifice whatever he could for the completion of his
-son’s education. For several years he deprived himself
-of every luxury, in order that George might have the
-assistance he so greatly needed while making his studies
-at Columbia College in his native city. Then only did
-the father realise how he had erred in allowing the boy
-to receive the desultory and aimless teaching that had
-seemed so generous in the days of wealth. He knew
-more or less well a variety of subjects of which his companions
-were wholly ignorant, but he was utterly unversed
-in much of their knowledge. And this was not
-all, for George had acquired from his former tutor a
-misguided contempt for the accepted manner of dealing
-with certain branches of learning, without possessing
-that grasp of the matters in hand which alone justifies a
-man in thinking differently from the great mass of his
-fellows. It is not well to ridicule the American method
-of doing things until one is master of some other.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was from the time when George entered college that
-he began to be a constant source of disappointment to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>his father. The elderly man had received a good, old-fashioned,
-thoroughly prejudiced education, and though
-he remembered little Latin and less Greek, he had not
-forgotten the way in which he had been made to learn
-both. George’s way of talking about his studies disturbed
-his father’s sense of intellectual propriety, which
-was great, without exciting his curiosity, which was
-infinitesimally small. With him also prevailed the
-paternal view which holds that young men must necessarily
-distinguish themselves above their companions if
-they really possess any exceptional talent, and his peace
-of mind was further endangered by his sense of responsibility
-for George’s beginnings. If he had believed
-that George was stupid, he would have resigned himself
-to that dispensation of Providence. But he thought
-otherwise. The boy was not an ordinary boy, and if he
-failed to prove it by taking prizes in competition, he
-must be lazy or his preparation must have been defective.
-No other alternative was to be found, and the
-fault therefore lay either with himself or with his
-father.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George never obtained a prize, and barely passed his
-examinations at all. Jonah Wood made a point of seeing
-all his examiners as well as the instructors who had
-known him during his college life. Three-quarters of
-the number asserted that the young fellow was undeniably
-clever, and added, expressing themselves with professorial
-politeness, that his previous studies seemed to
-have taken a direction other than that of the college
-“curriculum,” as they called it. The professor of Greek
-presumed that George might have distinguished himself
-in Latin, the professor of Latin surmised that Greek
-might have been his strong point; both believed that he
-had talent for mathematics, while the mathematician
-remarked that he seemed to have a very good understanding,
-but that it would be turned to better account in the
-pursuit of classical studies. Jonah Wood returned to
-his home very much disturbed in mind, and from that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>day his anxiety steadily increased. As it became more
-clear that his son would never accept a business career,
-but would probably waste his opportunities in literary
-dabbling, the good man’s alarm became extreme. He
-did not see that George’s one true talent lay in his ready
-power of assimilating unfamiliar knowledge by a process
-of intuition that escapes methodical learners, any more
-than he understood that the boy’s one solid acquirement
-was the power of using his own language. He was not
-to be too much blamed, perhaps, for the young man
-himself was only dimly conscious of his yet undeveloped
-power. What made him write was neither the pride of
-syntax nor the certainty of being right in his observations;
-he was driven to paper to escape from the torment
-of the desire to express something, he knew not what,
-which he could express in no other way. He found no
-congenial conversation at home and little abroad, and
-yet he felt that he had something to say and must say it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It should not be supposed that either Jonah Wood’s
-misfortunes or his poverty, which was after all comparative,
-though hard to bear, prevented George from mixing
-in the world with which he was connected by his
-mother’s birth, and to some extent by his father’s former
-position. The old gentleman, indeed, was too proud to
-renew his acquaintance with people who had thought
-him dishonourable until he had proved himself spotless;
-but the very demonstration of his uprightness had been
-so convincing and clear that it constituted a patent of
-honour for his son. Many persons who had blamed
-themselves for their hasty judgment would have been
-glad to make amends by their cordial reception of the
-man they had so cruelly mistaken. George, however,
-was quite as proud as his father, and much more sensitive.
-He remembered well enough the hard-hearted,
-boyish stare he had seen in the eyes of some of his companions
-when he was but just seventeen years old, and
-later, at college, when his father’s self-sacrifice was fully
-known, and his old associates had held out their hands
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>to his in the hope of making everything right again,
-George had met them with stony eyes and scornful
-civility. It was not easy to forgive, and with all his
-excellent qualities and noble honesty of purpose, Jonah
-Wood was not altogether displeased to know that his son
-held his head high and drew back from the renewal of
-fair weather friendships. Almost against his will he
-encouraged him in his conduct, while doing his best to
-appear at least indifferent.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George needed but little encouragement to remain in
-social obscurity, though he was conscious of a rather
-contemptible hope that he might one day play a part in
-society, surrounded by all the advantages of wealth and
-general respect which belong especially to those few who
-possess both, by inheritance rather than as a result of
-their own labours. He was not quite free from that
-subtle aristocratic taint which has touched so many
-members of American society. Like the wind, no man
-can tell whence it comes nor whither it goes; but unlike
-the ill wind in the proverb it blows no good to any one.
-It is not the breath of that republican inequality which
-is caused by two men extracting a different degree of
-advantage from the same circumstances; it is not the
-inevitable inequality produced by the inevitable struggle
-for existence, wealth and power; but it is the fictitious
-inequality caused by the pretence that the accident of a
-man’s birth should of itself constitute for him a claim
-to have special opportunities made for him, adapted to
-his use and protected by law for his particular benefit.
-It is a fallacy which is in the air, and which threatens
-to produce evil consequences wherever it becomes localised.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Perhaps, at some future time yet far distant, a man
-will arise who shall fathom and explain the great problems
-presented by human vanity. No more interesting
-study could be found wherewith to occupy the greatest
-mind, and assuredly none in the pursuit of which a man
-would be so constantly confronted by new and varied
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>matter for research. One main fact at least we know.
-Vanity is the boundless, circumambient and all-penetrating
-ether in which all man’s thoughts and actions have
-being and receive manifestation. All moral and intellectual
-life is either full of it and in sympathy with it,
-breathing it as our bodies breathe the air, or is out of
-balance with it in the matter of quantity and is continually
-struggling to restore its own lost equilibrium. It
-is as impossible to conceive of anything being done in
-the world without also conceiving the element of vanity
-as the medium for the action, as it is to imagine motion
-without space, or time without motion. To say that any
-man who succeeds in the race for superiority of any sort
-is without vanity, is downright nonsense; to assert that
-any man can reach success without it, would be to state
-more than any one has yet been able to prove. Let us
-accept the fact that we are all vain, whether we be saints
-or sinners, men of action or men of thought, men who
-leave our sign manual upon the page of our little day
-or men who trudge through the furrows of a nameless
-life ploughing and sowing that others may reap and eat
-and be merry. After all, does not our conception of
-heaven suggest to us a life from which all vanity is
-absent, and does not our idea of hell show us an existence
-in which vanity reigns supreme and hopeless, without
-prospect of satisfaction? Let us at least strive that
-our vanity may neither do injury to our fellow-men, nor
-recoil and become ridiculous in ourselves.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Enough has been said to define and explain the character
-and life of the young man whose history this book
-is to relate. He himself was far from being conscious
-of all his virtues, faults, and capabilities. He neither
-knew his own energy nor was aware of the hidden
-enthusiasm which was only just beginning to make itself
-felt as a vague, uneasy longing for something that
-should surpass ordinary things. He did not know that
-he possessed singular talents as well as unusual defects.
-He had not even begun to look upon life as a problem
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>offered him for solution, and upon his own heart as an
-object for his own study. He scarcely felt that he had
-a heart at all, nor knew where to look for it in others.
-His life was not happy, and yet he had not tasted the
-bitter sources of real unhappiness. He was oppressed
-by his surroundings, but he could not have told what he
-would have done with the most untrammelled liberty.
-He despised money, he worked for a pittance, and yet
-he secretly longed for all that money could buy. He
-was profoundly attached to his father, and yet he found
-the good man’s company intolerable. He shrank from
-a society in which he might have been a welcome guest,
-and yet he dreamed of playing a great part in it some
-day. He believed himself cynical when he was in
-reality quixotic, his idols of gold were hidden behind
-images of clay, and he really cared little for those things
-which he had schooled himself to admire the most. He
-fancied himself a critic when he was foredestined by his
-nature and his circumstances to become an object of criticism
-to others. He forced his mind to do what it found
-least congenial, not acting in obedience to any principle
-or idea of duty, but because he was sure that he knew
-his own abilities, and that no other path lay open to
-success. He was in the darkest part of the transition
-which precedes development, for he was in that period
-during which a man makes himself imagine that he has
-laid hold on the thread of the future, while something
-he will not heed warns him that the chaos is wilder
-than ever before. In the dark hour before manhood’s
-morning he was journeying resolutely away from the
-coming dawn.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER II.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>“It is very sad,” observed Mrs. Sherrington Trimm,
-thoughtfully. “Their mother died in London last
-autumn, and now they are quite alone—nobody with
-them but an aunt, or something like that—poor girls!
-I am so glad they are rich, at least. You ought to
-know them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Ought I?” asked the visitor who was drinking his
-tea on the other side of the fireplace. “You know I do
-not go into society.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The girls go nowhere, either. They are still in
-mourning. You ought to know them. Who knows,
-you might marry one or the other.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will never marry a fortune.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do not be silly, George!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The relationship between the two speakers was not
-very close. George Winton Wood’s mother had been a
-second cousin of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s, and the two
-ladies had not been on very friendly terms with each
-other. Moreover, Mrs. Trimm had nothing to do with
-old Jonah Wood, the father of the young man with
-whom she was now speaking, and Jonah Wood refused
-to have anything to do with her. Nevertheless she
-called his son by his first name, and the latter usually
-addressed her as “Cousin Totty.” An examination of
-Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s baptismal certificate would
-have revealed the fact that she had been christened
-Charlotte, but parental fondness had made itself felt
-with its usual severity in such cases, and before she was
-a year old she had been labelled with the comic diminutive
-which had stuck to her ever since, through five and
-twenty years of maidenhood, and twenty years more of
-married life. On her visiting cards, and in her formal
-invitations she appeared as Mrs. Sherrington Trimm;
-but the numerous members of New York society who
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>were related to her by blood or marriage, called her
-“Totty” to her face, while those who claimed no connection
-called her “Totty” behind her back; and though
-she may live beyond three score years and ten, and
-though her strength come to sorrow and weakness, she
-will be “Totty” still, to the verge of the grave, and
-beyond, even after she is comfortably laid away in the
-family vault at Greenwood.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>After all, the name was not inappropriate, so far at
-least, as Mrs. Trimm’s personal appearance was concerned;
-for she was very smooth, and round, and judiciously
-plump, short, fair, and neatly made, with pretty
-little hands and feet; active and not ungraceful, sleek
-but not sleepy; having small, sharp blue eyes, a very
-obliging and permanent smile, a diminutive pointed
-nose, salmon-coloured lips, and perfect teeth. Her good
-points did not, indeed, conceal her age altogether, but
-they obviated all necessity for an apology to the world
-for the crime of growing old; and those features which
-were less satisfactory to herself were far from being
-offensive to others.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She bore in her whole being and presence the stamp
-of a comfortable life. There is nothing more disturbing
-to society than the forced companionship of a person
-who either is, or looks, uncomfortable, in body, mind,
-or fortune, and many people owe their popularity almost
-solely to a happy faculty of seeming always at their
-ease. It is certain that neither birth, wealth, nor talent
-will of themselves make man or woman popular, not
-even when all three are united in the possession of one
-individual. But on the other hand they are not drawbacks
-to social success, provided they are merely means
-to the attainment of that unobtrusively careless good
-humour which the world loves. Mrs. Sherrington
-Trimm knew this. If not talented, she possessed at all
-events a pedigree and a fortune; and as for talent, she
-looked upon culture as an hereditary disease peculiar to
-Bostonians, and though not contagious, yet full of danger,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>inasmuch as its presence in a well-organised society
-must necessarily be productive of discomfort. All the
-charm of general conversation must be gone, she
-thought, when a person appeared who was both able and
-anxious to set everybody right. She even went so far as
-to say that if everybody were poor, it would be very
-disagreeable to be rich. She never wished to do what
-others could not do; she only aimed at being among the
-first to do what everybody would do by and by, as a
-matter of course.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mrs. Trimm’s cousin George did not understand this
-point of view as yet, though he was beginning to suspect
-that “Totty and her friends”—as he generally designated
-society—must act upon some such principle. He
-was only five and twenty years of age, and could hardly
-be expected to be in the secrets of a life he had hitherto
-seen as an outsider; but he differed from Totty and
-her friends in being exceedingly clever, exceedingly
-unhappy, and exceedingly full of aspirations, ambitions,
-fancies, ideas, and thoughts; in being poor instead of
-rich, and, lastly, in being the son of a man who had failed
-in the pursuit of wealth, and who could not prove even
-the most distant relationship to any one of the gentlemen
-who had signed the Declaration of Independence,
-fought in the Revolution, or helped to frame the Constitution
-of the United States. George, indeed, possessed
-these ancestral advantages through his mother, and in a
-more serviceable form through his relationship to Totty;
-but she, on her part, felt that the burden of his cleverness
-might be too heavy for her to bear, should she
-attempt to launch him upon her world. Her sight was
-keen enough, and she saw at a glance the fatal difference
-between George and other people. He had a habit
-of asking serious questions, and of saying serious things,
-which would be intolerable at a dinner-party. He was
-already too strong to be put down, he was not yet important
-enough to be shown off. Totty’s husband, who
-was an eminent lawyer, occasionally asked George to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>dine with him at his club, and usually said when he came
-home that he could not understand the boy; but, being
-of an inquiring disposition, Mr. Trimm was impelled to
-repeat the hospitality at intervals that gradually became
-more regular. At first he had feared that the dark,
-earnest face of the young man, and his grave demeanour,
-concealed the soul of a promising prig, a social article
-which Sherrington Trimm despised and loathed. He
-soon discovered, however, that these apprehensions
-were groundless. From time to time his companion
-gave utterance to some startling opinion or freezing bit
-of cynicism which he had evidently been revolving in his
-thoughts for a long time, and which forced Mr. Trimm’s
-gymnastic intelligence into thinking more seriously than
-usual. Doubtless George’s remarks were often paradoxical
-and youthfully wild, but his hearer liked them none
-the less for that. Keen and successful in his own profession
-he scented afar the capacity for success in other
-callings. Accustomed by the habits and pursuits of his
-own exciting life to judge men and things quickly, he
-recognised in George another mode of the force to which
-he himself owed his reputation. To lay down the law
-and determine the precise manner in which that force
-should be used, was another matter, and one in which
-Sherrington Trimm did not propose to meddle. More
-than once, indeed, he asked George what he meant to do in
-the world, and George answered, with a rather inappropriate
-look of determination that he believed himself good
-for nothing, and that when there was no more bread and
-butter at home he should doubtless find his own level by
-going up long ladders with a hod of bricks on his shoulder.
-Mr. Trimm’s jovial face usually expressed his disbelief
-in such theories by a bland smile as he poured out
-another glass of wine for his young guest. He felt sure
-that George would do something, and George, who got
-little sympathy in his life, understood his encouraging
-certainty, and was grateful.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mrs. Trimm, however, shared her cousin’s asserted
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span>convictions about himself so far as to believe that unless
-something was done for him, he might actually be driven
-to manual labour for support. She assuredly had no
-faith in general cleverness as a means of subsistence for
-young men without fortune, and yet she felt that she
-ought to do something for George Wood. There was a
-good reason for this beneficent instinct. Her only
-brother was chiefly responsible for the ruin that had
-overtaken Jonah Wood, when George was still a boy,
-and she herself had been one of the winners in the game,
-or at least had been a sharer with her brother in the
-winnings. It is true that the facts of the case had
-never been generally known, and that George’s father
-had been made to suffer unjustly in his reputation after
-being plundered of his wealth; but Mrs. Trimm was not
-without a conscience, any more than the majority of her
-friends. If she loved money and wanted more of it,
-this was because she wished to be like other people, and
-not because she was vulgarly avaricious. She was willing
-to keep what she had, though a part of it should
-have been George’s and was ill-gotten. She wished
-her brother, Thomas Craik, to keep all he possessed until
-he should die, and then she wished him to leave it to
-her, Charlotte Sherrington Trimm. But she also desired
-that George should have compensation for what his
-father had lost, and the easiest and least expensive way
-of providing him with the money he had not, was to
-help him to a rich marriage. It was not, indeed, fitting
-that he should marry her only daughter, Mamie, though
-the girl was nineteen years old and showed a disquieting
-tendency to like George. Such a marriage would result
-only in a transfer of wealth without addition or multiplication,
-which was not the form of magnanimity most
-agreeable to cousin Totty’s principles. There were other
-rich girls in the market; one of them might be interested
-in the tall young man with the dark face and the quiet
-manner, and might bestow herself upon him, and endow
-him with all her worldly goods. Totty had now been
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>lucky enough to find two such young ladies together,
-orphans both, and both of age, having full control of the
-large and equally divided patrimony they had lately
-inherited. Better still, they were reported to be highly
-gifted and fond of clever people, and she herself knew
-that they were both pretty. She had resolved that
-George should know them without delay, and had sent
-for him as a preliminary step towards bringing about the
-acquaintance. George met her at once with the plain
-statement that he would never marry money, as the
-phrase goes, but she treated his declaration of independence
-with appropriate levity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do not be silly, George!” she exclaimed with a little
-laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not,” George answered, in a tone of conviction.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, I know you are clever enough,” retorted his
-cousin. “But that is quite a different thing. Besides,
-I was not thinking seriously of your marrying.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I guessed as much, from the fact of your mentioning
-it,” observed the young man quietly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mrs. Trimm stared at him for a moment, and then
-laughed again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Am I never thinking seriously of what I am saying?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tell me about these girls,” said George, avoiding an
-answer. “If they are rich and unmarried, they must
-be old and hideous——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“They are neither.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mere children then——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—they are younger than you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Poor little things! I see—you want me to play
-with them, and teach them games and things of that
-sort. What is the salary? I am open to an engagement
-in any respectable calling. Or perhaps you would prefer
-Mrs. Macwhirter, my old nurse. It is true that she is
-blind of one eye and limps a little, but she would make
-a reduction in consideration of her infirmities, if money
-is an object.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Try and be serious; I want you to know them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>“Do I look like a man who wastes time in laughing?”
-inquired George, whose imperturbable gravity was one of
-his chief characteristics.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—you have other resources at your command for
-getting at the same result.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thanks. You are always flattering. When am I to
-begin amusing your little friends?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“To-day, if you like. We can go to them at once.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood glanced down almost unconsciously at
-the clothes he wore, with the habit of a man who is very
-poor and is not always sure of being presentable at a
-moment’s notice. His preoccupation did not escape
-cousin Totty, whose keen instinct penetrated his thoughts
-and found there an additional incentive to the execution
-of her beneficent intentions. It was a shame, she
-thought, that any relation of hers should need to think
-of such miserable details as the possession of a decent
-coat and whole shoes. At the present moment, indeed,
-George was arrayed with all appropriate correctness, but
-Totty remembered to have caught sight of him sometimes
-when he was evidently not expecting to meet any acquaintance,
-and she had noticed on those occasions that his dress
-was very shabby indeed. It was many years since she
-had seen his father, and she wondered whether he, too,
-went about in old clothes, sure of not meeting anybody
-he knew. The thought was not altogether pleasant, and
-she put it from her. It was a part of her method of life
-not to think disagreeable thoughts, and though her plan
-to bring about a rich marriage for her cousin was but a
-scheme for quieting her conscience, she determined to
-believe that she was putting herself to great inconvenience
-out of spontaneous generosity, for which George
-would owe her a debt of lifelong gratitude.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George, having satisfied himself that his appearance
-would pass muster, and realising that Totty must have noticed
-his self-inspection, immediately asked her opinion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will I do?” he asked with an odd shade of shyness,
-and glancing again at the sleeve of his coat, as though to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>explain what he meant, well knowing that all explanation
-was unnecessary.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty, who had thoroughly inspected him before proposing
-that they should go out together, now pretended
-to look him over with a critical eye.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course—perfectly,” she said, after three or four
-seconds. “Wait for me a moment, and I will get ready,”
-she added, as she rose and left the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When George was alone, he leaned back in his comfortable
-chair and looked at the familiar objects about
-him with a weary expression which he had not worn
-while his cousin had been present. He could not tell
-exactly why he came to see cousin Totty, and he generally
-went home after his visits to her with a vague
-sense of disappointment. In the first place, he always
-felt that there was a sort of disloyalty in coming at all.
-He knew the details of his father’s past life, and was
-aware that old Tom Craik had been the cause of his ruin,
-and he guessed that Totty had profited by the same
-catastrophe, since he had always heard that her brother
-managed her property. He even fancied that Totty was
-not so harmless as she looked, and that she was very
-fond of money, though he was astonished at his own
-boldness in suspecting the facts to be so much at variance
-with the outward appearance. He was very young,
-and he feared to trust his own judgment, though he had
-an intimate conviction that his instincts were right.
-On the whole he was forced to admit to himself that
-there were many reasons against his periodical visits to
-the Trimms, and he was quite ready to allow that it was
-not Totty’s personality or conversation that attracted
-him to the house. Yet, as he rested in the cushioned
-chair he had selected and felt the thick carpet under his
-feet, and breathed that indefinable atmosphere which
-impregnates every corner of a really luxurious house,
-he knew that it would be very hard to give up the habit
-of enjoying all these things at regular intervals. He
-imagined that his thoughts liquefied and became more
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>mobile under the genial influence, forgetting the grooves
-and moulds so unpleasantly familiar to them. Hosts
-of ideas and fancies presented themselves to him, which
-he recognised as belonging to a self that only came to
-life from time to time; a self full of delicate sensations
-and endowed with brilliant powers of expression; a self
-of which he did not know whether to be ashamed or
-proud; a self as overflowing with ready appreciation, as
-his other common, daily self was inclined to depreciate
-all that the world admired, and to find fault with everything
-that was presented to its view. Though conscious
-of all this, however, George did not care to analyse his
-own motives too closely. It was disagreeable to his pride
-to find that he attached so much importance to what he
-described collectively as furniture and tea. He was
-disappointed with himself, and he did all in his power
-not to increase his disappointment. Then an extreme
-depression came upon him, and showed itself in his face.
-He felt impelled to escape from the house, to renounce
-the visit Totty had proposed, to go home, get into his
-oldest clothes and work desperately at something, no
-matter what. But for his cousin’s opportune return, he
-might have yielded to the impulse. She re-entered the
-room briskly, dressed for walking and smiling as usual.
-George’s expression changed as he heard the latch move
-in the door, and Mrs. Sherrington Trimm must have
-been even keener than she was, to guess what had been
-passing in his mind. She was not, however, in the
-observant mood, but in the subjective, for she felt that
-she was now about to appear as her cousin’s benefactress,
-and, having got rid of her qualms of conscience, she
-experienced a certain elation at her own skill in the
-management of her soul.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George took his hat and rose with alacrity. There
-was nothing essentially distasteful to him in the prospect
-of being presented to a pair of pretty sisters, who had
-doubtless been warned of his coming, and his foolish
-longing for his old clothes and his work disappeared as
-suddenly as it had come.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>It was still winter, and the low afternoon sun fell
-across the avenue from the westward streets in broad
-golden patches. It was still winter, but the promise of
-spring was already in the air, and a faint mist hung
-about the vanishing point of the seemingly endless rows
-of buildings. The trees were yet far from budding, but
-the leafless branches no longer looked dead, and the
-small twigs were growing smooth and glossy with the
-returning circulation of the sap. There were many
-people on foot in the avenue, and Totty constantly nodded
-and smiled to her passing acquaintances, who generally
-looked with some interest at George as they acknowledged
-or forestalled his companion’s salutation. He knew a
-few of them by sight, but not one passed with whom he
-had ever spoken, and he felt somewhat foolishly ashamed
-of not knowing every one. When he was alone the
-thought did not occur to him, but his cousin’s incessant
-smiles and nods made him realise vividly the difference
-between her social position and his own. He wondered
-whether the gulf would ever be bridged over, and whether
-at any future time those very correct people who now
-looked at him with inquiring eyes would be as anxious
-to know him and be recognised by him as they now
-seemed desirous of knowing Totty and being saluted by
-her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you mean to say that you really remember the
-names of all these friends of yours?” he asked, presently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why not? I have known most of them since I was
-a baby, and they have known me. You could learn their
-names fast enough if you would take the trouble.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why should I? They do not want me. I should
-never be a part of their lives.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why not? You could if you liked, and I am always
-telling you so. Society never wants anybody who does
-not want it. It is founded on the principle of giving
-and receiving in return. If you show that you like
-people, they will show that they like you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>“That would depend upon my motives.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mrs. Sherrington Trimm laughed, lowered her parasol,
-and turned her head so that she could see George’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Motives!” she exclaimed. “Nobody cares about
-your motives, provided you have good manners. It is
-only in business that people talk about motives.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then any adventurer who chose might take his place
-in society,” objected George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course he might—and does. It occurs constantly,
-and nothing unpleasant happens to him, unless he makes
-love in the wrong direction or borrows money without
-returning it. Unfortunately those are just the two
-things most generally done by adventurers, and then
-they come to grief. A man is taken at his own valuation
-in society, until he commits a social crime and is found
-out.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You think there would be nothing to prevent my
-going into society, if I chose to try it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing in the world, if you will follow one or two
-simple rules.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And what may they be?” inquired George, becoming
-interested.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Let me see—in the first place—dear me! how hard
-it is to explain such things! I should say that one ought
-never to ask a question about anybody, unless one knows
-the answer, and knows that the person to whom one is
-speaking will be glad to talk about the matter. One
-may avoid a deal of awkwardness by not asking a man
-about his wife, for instance, if she has just applied for
-a divorce. But if his sister is positively engaged to
-marry an English duke, you should always ask about
-her. That kind of conversation makes things pleasant.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I like that view,” said George. “Give me some
-more advice.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Never say anything disagreeable about any one you
-know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is charitable, at all events.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course it is; and, now I think of it, charity is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>really the foundation of good society,” continued Mrs.
-Trimm very sweetly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You mean a charitable silence, I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not always silence. Saying kind words about people
-you hate is charitable, too.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should call it lying,” George observed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty was shocked at such bluntness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is far too strong language,” she answered, beginning
-to look as she did in church.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Gratuitous mendacity,” suggested her companion.
-“Is the word ‘lie’ in the swearing dictionary?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps not—but after all, George,” continued
-Mrs. Trimm with sudden fervour, “there are often very
-nice things to be said quite truly about people we do not
-like, and it is certainly charitable and magnanimous to
-say them in spite of our personal feelings. One may
-just as well leave out the disagreeable things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Satan is a fallen angel. You hate him of course.
-If he chanced to be in society you would leave out the
-detail of the fall and say that Satan is an angel. Is that
-it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Approximately,” laughed Totty, who was less shocked
-at the mention of the devil than at hearing tact called
-lying. “I think you would succeed in society. By-the-bye,
-there is another thing. You must never talk about
-culture and books and such things, unless some celebrity
-begins it. That is most important, you know. Of
-course you would not like to feel that you were talking
-of things which other people could not understand, would
-you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What should I talk about, then?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh—people, of course, and—and horses and things—yachting
-and fashions and what people generally do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But I know so few people,” objected George, “and
-as for horses, I have not ridden since I was a boy, and I
-never was on board of a yacht, and I do not care a straw
-for the fashions.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, really, then I hardly know. Perhaps you had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>better not talk much until you have learned about
-things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps not. Perhaps I had better not try society
-after all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, that is ridiculous!” exclaimed Mrs. Trimm, who
-did not want to discourage her pupil. “Now, George,
-be a good boy, and do not get such absurd notions into
-your head. You are going to begin this very day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Am I?” inquired the young man in a tone that
-promised very little.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course you are. And it will be easy, too, for the
-Fearing girls are clever——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Does that mean that I may talk about something
-besides horses, fashions, and yachting?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How dreadfully literal you are, George! I did not
-mean precisely those things, only I could think of nothing
-else just at that moment. I know, yes—you are
-going to ask if I ever think of anything else. Well, I do
-sometimes—there, now do be good and behave like a
-sensible being. Here we are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>They had reached a large, old-fashioned house in
-Washington Square, which George had often noticed
-without knowing who lived in it, and which had always
-attracted him. He liked the quiet neighbourhood, so
-near the busiest part of the city and yet so completely
-separated from it, and he often went there alone to sit
-upon one of the benches under the trees and think of all
-that might have been even then happening to him if
-things had not been precisely what they were. He stood
-upon the door-step and rang the bell, wondering at the
-unexpected turn his day had taken, and wondering what
-manner of young women these orphan sisters might be,
-with whom cousin Totty was so anxious to make him
-acquainted. His curiosity on this head was soon satisfied.
-In a few seconds he found himself in a sombrely-furnished
-drawing-room, bowing before two young girls,
-while Mrs. Trimm introduced him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Winton Wood—my cousin George, you know.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>You got my note? Yes—so sweet of you to be at home.
-This is Miss Constance Fearing, and this is Miss Grace,
-George. Thanks, no—we have just been having tea.
-Yes—we walked. The weather is perfectly lovely, and
-now tell me all about yourself, Conny dear!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thereupon Mrs. Sherrington Trimm took Miss Constance
-Fearing beside her, held her hand affectionately,
-and engaged in an animated conversation of smiles and
-questions, leaving George to amuse the younger sister as
-best he could.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At first sight there appeared to be a strong resemblance
-between the two girls, which was much increased
-by their both being dressed in black and in precisely the
-same manner. They were very nearly of the same age,
-Constance being barely twenty-two years old and her
-sister just twenty, though Mrs. Trimm had said that both
-had reached their majority. Both were tall, graceful
-girls, well-proportioned in every way, easy in their bearing,
-their heads well set upon their shoulders, altogether
-well grown and well bred. But there was in reality a
-marked difference between them. Constance was fairer
-and more delicate than her younger sister, evidently less
-self-reliant and probably less strong. Her eyes were
-blue and quiet, and her hair had golden tinges not to be
-found in Grace’s dark-brown locks. Her complexion
-was more transparent, her even eyebrows less strongly
-marked, her sensitive lips less firm. Of the two she was
-evidently the more gentle and feminine. Grace’s voice
-was deep and smooth, whereas Constance spoke in a
-higher though a softer key. It was easy to see that
-Constance would be the one more quickly moved by
-womanly sympathies and passions, and that Grace, on
-the contrary, would be at once more obstinate and more
-sure of herself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was pleasantly impressed by both from the
-first, and especially by the odd contrast between them
-and their surroundings. The house was old-fashioned
-within as well as without. It was clear that the girls’
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>father and mother had been conservatives of the most
-severe type. The furniture was dark, massive, and
-imposing; the velvet carpet displayed in deeper shades
-of claret, upon a claret-coloured ground, that old familiar
-pattern formed by four curved scrolls which enclose as in
-a lozenge an imposing nosegay of almost black roses.
-Full-length portraits of the family adorned the walls,
-and the fireplace was innocent of high art tiles, being
-composed of three slabs of carved white marble, two
-upright and one horizontal, in the midst of which a
-black grate supported a coal fire. Moreover, as in all
-old houses in New York, the front drawing-room communicated
-with a second at the back of the first by great
-polished mahogany folding-doors, which, being closed,
-produce the impression that one-half of the room is a
-huge press. There were stiff sofas set against the wall,
-stiff corner bookcases filled with histories expensively
-bound in dark tree calf, a stiff mahogany table under an
-even stiffer chandelier of gilded metal; there were two
-or three heavy easy-chairs, square, dark and polished
-like everything else, and covered with red velvet of the
-same colour as the carpet, each having before it a footstool
-of the old style, curved and made of the same
-materials as the chairs themselves. A few modern
-books in their fresh, perishable bindings showed the
-beginning of a new influence, together with half a dozen
-magazines and papers, and a work-basket containing a
-quantity of coloured embroidering silks.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked about him as he took his place beside
-Grace Fearing, and noticed the greater part of the details
-just described.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you fond of horses, yachting, fashions, and
-things people generally do, Miss Fearing?” he inquired.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not in the least,” answered Grace, fixing her dark
-eyes upon him with a look of cold surprise.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER III.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>The stare of astonishment with which Grace Fearing
-met George’s singular method of beginning a conversation
-rather disconcerted him, although he had half expected
-it. He had asked the question while still under
-the impression of Totty’s absurd advice, unable any longer
-to refrain from communicating his feelings to some one.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You seem surprised,” he said. “I will explain. I
-do not care a straw for any of those things myself, but
-as we walked here my cousin was giving me a lecture
-about conversation in society.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And she advised you to talk to us about horses?”
-inquired Miss Grace, beginning to smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. Not to you. She gave me to understand that
-you were both very clever, but she gave me a list of
-things about which a man should talk in general society,
-and I flatter myself that I have remembered the catalogue
-pretty accurately.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed you have!” This time Grace laughed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. And now that we have eliminated horses,
-yachts, and fashions, by mutual consent, shall we talk
-about less important things?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Certainly. Where shall we begin?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“With whatever you prefer. What do you like best
-in the world?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“My sister,” answered Grace promptly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That answers the question, ‘Whom do you like
-best—?’”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well, Mr. Wood, and whom do you like best?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Myself, of course. Everybody does, except people
-who have sisters like yours.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you an egotist, then?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not by intention, but by original sin, and by the
-fault of fate which has omitted to give me a sister.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have you no near relations?” Grace asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>“I have my father.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And you are not more fond of him than of yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is one not bound to believe one’s father, when he
-speaks on mature reflection, and is a very good man
-besides?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—I suppose so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well. My father says that I love myself better
-than any one else. That is good evidence, for, as you
-say, he must be right. How do you know that you love
-your sister more than yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think I would sacrifice more for her than I would
-for myself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then you must be subject to a natural indolence
-which only affection for another can overcome.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not lazy,” objected Grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Pardon me. What is a sacrifice, in the common
-meaning of the word? Giving up something one likes.
-To make a sacrifice for oneself means to give up something
-one likes for the sake of one’s own advantage—for
-instance, to give up sleeping too much, in order to
-work more. Not to do so, is to be lazy. Laziness is a
-vice. Therefore it is a vice not to sacrifice as much as
-possible to one’s own advantage. Virtue is the opposite
-of vice. Therefore selfishness is a virtue.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What dreadful sophistry!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You cannot escape the conclusion that one ought to
-love oneself at least quite as much as any one else, since
-to be unwilling to take as much trouble for one’s own
-advantage as one takes for that of other people is manifestly
-an acute form of indolence, and is therefore vicious
-and a cardinal sin.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Selfishness is certainly a deadly virtue,” retorted
-Grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can that be called deadly which provides a man with
-a living?” asked George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is all sophistry—sophistical chaff, and nothing
-else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The original sophists made a very good living,”
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>objected George. “Is it not better to get a living as a
-sophist than to starve?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you make a living by it, Mr. Wood?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I am not a lawyer, and times have changed
-since Gorgias.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I may as well tell you,” said Grace, “that Mrs.
-Trimm has calumniated me. I am not clever, and I
-do not know who Gorgias was.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I beg your pardon for mentioning him. I only
-wanted to show off my culture. He is of no importance——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes he is. Since you have spoken of him, tell me
-who he was.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A sophist, and one of the first of them. He published
-a book to prove that Helen of Troy was an angel
-of virtue, he fattened on the proceeds of his talking and
-writing, till he was a hundred years old, and then he
-died. The thing will not do now. Several people have
-lately defended Lucretia Borgia, without fattening to
-any great extent. That is the reason I would like to be
-a lawyer. Lawyers defend living clients and are well
-paid for it. Look at Sherry Trimm, my cousin’s husband.
-Do you know him?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He is fat and well-liking. And Johnny Bond—do
-you know him too?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course,” answered Grace, with an almost imperceptible
-frown. “He is to be Mr. Trimm’s partner soon.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, when he is forty, he will be as sleek and round
-as Sherry Trimm himself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will he?” asked the young girl with some coldness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Probably, since he will be rich and happy. Moral
-and physical rotundity is the natural attribute of all rich
-and happy persons. It would be a pity if Johnny grew
-very fat, he is such a handsome fellow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose it could not be helped,” said Grace, indifferently.
-“What do you mean by moral rotundity, Mr.
-Wood?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>“Inward and spiritual grace to be always right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At this point Totty, who had said all she had to say
-to Constance, and was now only anxious to say it all
-over again to Grace, made a movement and nodded to
-her cousin.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Come, George,” she said, “take my place, and I will
-take yours.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George rose with considerable reluctance and crossed
-the room. There was something in Grace Fearing’s
-manner which gave him courage in conversation, and he
-had felt at his ease with her. Now, however, the ice must
-be broken afresh with the other sister. Unlike Mrs.
-Trimm, he did not want to repeat himself, and he was
-somewhat embarrassed as to how he should begin in a
-new strain. To his surprise, however, his new companion
-relieved him of any responsibility in this direction.
-While listening as much as was necessary to Totty’s
-rambling talk, she had been watching the young man’s
-face from a distance. Her sympathetic nature made her
-more observant than her sister, and she spent much time
-in speculating upon other people’s thoughts. George
-interested her from the first. There was something
-about him, of which he himself was wholly unconscious,
-which distinguished him from ordinary men, and which
-it was hard to define. Few people would have called
-him handsome, though no one could have said that he
-was ugly. His head was strongly modelled, with prominent
-brows, and great hollows in the temples. The
-nose was straight, but rather too long, as is generally
-the case with melancholy people; and the thin, dark
-moustache did not conceal the scornful expression of the
-mouth. The chin would have been the better for a little
-more weight and prominence, and the whole face might
-have been more attractive had it been less dark and thin.
-As for the rest, the man was tall and well built, though
-somewhat too lean and angular, and he carried himself
-well, whether in motion or repose. He was evidently
-melancholic, nervous, and impressionable, as might be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>seen from his brown and sinewy hands, of which the
-smooth and pointed fingers contrasted oddly with the
-strength of the lower part. But the most minute
-description of George Wood’s physical characteristics
-would convey no such impression as he produced upon
-those who first saw him. He was discontented with
-himself as well as with his surroundings, and his temper
-was clouded by perpetual disappointment. Sometimes
-dull and apathetic, there were moments when a vicious
-energy gleamed in his dark eyes, and when he looked
-like what fighting men call an ugly customer. Mirth
-was never natural to him, and when he laughed aloud
-there was scarcely the semblance of a smile upon his
-features. Yet he had a keen sense of humour, and a
-facility for exhibiting the ridiculous side of things to
-others.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What do you do, Mr. Wood?” asked Constance
-Fearing, when he was seated beside her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing—and not even that gracefully.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance did not laugh as she looked at him, for
-there was something at once earnest and bitter in the
-way he spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you do nothing?” she asked. “Everybody
-works nowadays. You do not look like a professed idler.
-I suppose you mean that you are studying for a profession.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not exactly. I believe my studies are said to be
-finished. I sometimes write a little.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is that all? Do you never publish anything?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh yes; countless things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Really? I am afraid I cannot remember seeing——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“My name in print? No. There is but one copy of
-my published works, and that is in my possession. The
-pages present an irregular appearance and smell of paste.
-You do not understand? My valuable performances are
-occasionally printed in one of the daily papers. I cut
-them out, when I am not too lazy, and keep them in a
-scrap-book.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>“Then you are a journalist?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not from the journalist’s point of view. He calls
-me a paid contributor; and when I am worse paid than
-usual, I call him by worse names.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not understand—if you can be what you call a
-paid contributor, why not be a journalist? What is the
-difference?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The one is a professional, the other is an amateur.
-I am the other.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why not be a professional, then?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because I do not like the profession.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What would you like to be? Surely you must have
-some ambition.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“None whatever, I assure you.” There was an odd
-look in George’s eyes, not altogether in accordance with
-his answer. “I should prefer to live a student’s life,
-since I must live a life of some kind. I should like to
-be always my own master—if you would give me my
-choice, there are plenty of things I should like. But I
-cannot have them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Most of us are in that condition,” said Constance,
-rather thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are we? Is there anything in the world that you
-want and cannot have?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. Many things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, I mean concrete things,” George insisted. “Of
-course I know that you have the correct number of moral
-and intellectual aspirations. You would like to be a
-heroine, a saint, and the managing partner of a great
-charity; you would like to be a scholar, historian, a
-novelist, and you would certainly like to be a great
-poetess. You would probably like to lead the fashion
-in some particular way, for I must allow you a little
-vanity with so much virtue, but on Sundays, in church,
-you would like to forget that there are such things as
-fashions. Of course you would. But all that is not
-what I mean. When I speak of wants, I mean wants
-connected with real life. Have you not everything you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span>desire, or could you not have everything? If you do not
-like New York, can you not go and live in Siberia? If
-you do not like your house, can you not turn it inside
-out and upside down and trim it with green parakeet’s
-wings, if you please? If you have wants, they are
-moral and intellectual.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But all the things you speak of merely depend upon
-money,” said Constance a little shyly. “They are
-merely material wants—or rather, according to your
-description, caprices.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not call my desire to lead the unmolested life of
-a student either a caprice or a material want, but the
-accomplishment of my wish depends largely upon money
-and very little upon anything else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance looked furtively at her companion, who sat
-beside her with folded hands, apparently contemplating
-his shoes. He had spoken very quietly, but his tone
-was that of the most profound contempt, whether for
-himself, or for the wealth he was weak enough to desire,
-it was impossible to say. Constance felt that she was in
-the presence of a nature she did not understand, though
-she was to some extent interested and attracted by it.
-It is very hard for people who possess everything that
-money can give, and have always possessed it, to comprehend
-the effect of poverty upon a sensitive person.
-Constance, indeed, had no exact idea of George Wood’s
-financial position. He might be really poor, for all she
-knew, or he might be only relatively impecunious. She
-inclined to the latter theory, partly because he had not
-the indescribable look which is supposed to belong to a
-poor man, and partly on account of his readiness to
-speak of what he wanted. A person of less keen intuitions
-would probably have been repelled by what might
-have been taken for vulgar discontent and covetousness.
-But Constance Fearing’s inceptions were more delicate.
-She felt instinctively that George was not what he represented
-himself to be, that he was neither weak, selfish,
-nor idle, and that those who believed him to be so would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span>before long find themselves mistaken. She made no
-answer to his last words, however, and there was silence
-for a few moments.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then George began to speak of her return to New
-York, and fell into a very commonplace kind of conversation,
-which he sustained with an effort, and with a
-certain sensation of awkwardness. Presently Totty, who
-had finished the second edition of her small talk, rose
-from her seat and began the long operation of leave-taking,
-which was performed with all the usual repetitions,
-effusive phrases, and affectionalities, if such a
-word may be coined, which are considered appropriate
-and indispensable. As a canary bird pecks at a cherry,
-chirps, skips away, hops back, pecks, chirps, and skips
-again and again many times, so do certain women say
-good-bye to the dear friends they visit. Meanwhile
-George stood at hand, holding his hat and ready to go.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope we shall see you again,” said Constance as
-she gave him her hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“May I come?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course. We are generally at home about this
-time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At last Totty tore herself away, and the ponderous
-front door closed behind her and her cousin as they came
-out into the purple light that flooded Washington Square.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, George, I hope you were properly impressed,”
-said Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, when they had walked a
-few steps and were near the corner of the avenue.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Profoundly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In what way? Come, be confidential.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In what way? Why, I think that the father and
-mother of those girls must have been very rich, very
-dull, and very respectable. I never saw anything like
-the solidity of the furniture.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty was never quite sure whether George was in
-earnest or was laughing at her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did you spend your time in looking at the chairs?”
-she asked rather petulantly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>“Partly. I could not help seeing them. I believe I
-talked a little.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope you were sensible. What did you talk about?
-I do not think the Fearing girls would thoroughly appreciate
-the style of wit with which you generally favour
-me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You need not be cross, cousin Totty. I believe I was
-decently agreeable.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh!” ejaculated Mrs. Trimm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You think I flatter myself, do you? I daresay. The
-opinion of the young ladies would be more valuable than
-my own. At all events my conscience does not reproach
-me with having been more dull than usual, and as for the
-furniture, you will admit that it was very impressive.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well,” sighed Totty, “I suppose that is your way of
-looking at things.” She did not know exactly what she
-wanted him to say, but she was sure that he had not said
-it, and that his manner was most unsatisfactory. They
-walked on in silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am tired,” she said, at last, as they reached the
-corner of the Brevoort House. “I will go home in a cab.
-Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George opened the door of one of the numerous
-broughams stationed before the hotel, and helped his
-cousin to get in. She nodded rather indifferently to him,
-as she was driven away, and left him somewhat at a loss
-to account for her sudden ill temper. Under any ordinary
-circumstances she would assuredly have bid him
-enter the carriage with her and drive as far as her house,
-in order to save him a part of the long distance to his own
-home. The young man stood still for a moment and then
-turned into Clinton Place, walking rapidly in the direction
-of the elevated road.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had spoken quite truly when he had said that the
-visit he had just made had produced a profound impression
-on him, and it was in accordance with his character
-to keep that impression to himself. It was not that he
-felt himself attracted by either one of the sisters more
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>than by the other. He had not fallen in love at first sight,
-nor lost his heart to a vision of beatitude that had only
-just received a name. But as he walked he saw constantly
-before him the two graceful young girls in their
-simple black dresses, full of the freshness and beauty of
-early youth and contrasting so strongly with their old-fashioned
-surroundings. That was all, but the picture
-stirred in him that restless, disquieting longing for something
-undefined, for a logical continuation of the two lives
-he had thus glanced upon, which belongs to persons of
-unusual imagination, and which, sooner or later, drives
-them to the writing of books as to the only possible satisfaction
-of an intimate and essential want.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There are people who, when they hear any unusual
-story of real life, exclaim, “What a novel that would
-make!” They are not the people who write good fiction.
-Most of them have never tried it, for, if they had, they
-would know that novels are not made by expanding into
-a volume or volumes the account of circumstances which
-have actually occurred. True stories very rarely have a
-conclusion at all, and the necessity for a conclusion is the
-first thing felt by the born novelist. He dwells upon the
-memory of people he has seen, only for the sake of imagining
-a sequel and end to their lives. Before he has
-discovered that he must write books to satisfy himself,
-he does not understand the meaning of the moods to
-which he is subject. He is in a room full of people, perhaps,
-and listening to a conversation. Suddenly a word
-or a passing face arrests his attention. He loses the
-thread of the talk, and his thoughts fly off at a tangent
-with intense activity. As before the sight of a drowning
-man, the panorama of a life is unfolded to him in an instant,
-full of minute details, all distinct and clear. His
-lips move, repeating fragments of imaginary conversations.
-His eyes fix themselves, while he sees in his brain
-sights other than those around him. His heart beats fast,
-then slowly, in a strange variety of emotions. Then
-comes the awakening voice of the persecutor. “A penny
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>for your thoughts, Mr. Tompkins,” or, “My dear Tompkins,
-if you do not care to listen to me,” <span lang="la" xml:lang="la">etc.</span> The young
-man is covered with confusion and apologises for his
-absence of mind, while still inwardly attempting to fix
-in his memory the fleeting visions of which he has just
-enjoyed such a delicious glimpse.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Fortunately for George Wood, there was no one to disturb
-his meditations as he strode along the quiet street,
-ascended the iron steps and mechanically paid his fare
-before passing through the wicket gate. Nor did the
-vivid recollection of Constance and Grace Fearing abandon
-him as the snake-like train came puffing up and
-stopped before his eyes; still less, when he had taken his
-seat, and was being carried away up-town in the direction
-of his home.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He lived with his father in the small house which the
-latter still owned, and in which, by dint of rigid economy
-the two succeeded in leading a decently comfortable existence,
-so far as their material lives were concerned. A
-more complete contrast to the residence in Washington
-Square, where George had just been spending half an hour,
-could hardly be imagined. The dwelling of the Woods
-was one of those conventional little buildings which
-abound in the great American cities, having a front of
-about sixteen feet, being three stories high, and having
-two rooms on each floor, one looking upon the street and
-one upon a small yard at the back. Within, everything
-was of the simplest description. There was no attempt
-at anything in the nature of luxury or embellishment.
-The well-swept carpets were threadbare, the carefully-dusted
-furniture was of the plainest kind, the smooth,
-tinted walls were innocent of decoration and unadorned
-with pictures. There were few books to be seen, except
-in George’s own room, which presented a contrast to the
-rest of the house, inasmuch as there reigned in it that
-sort of disorder which seemed the most real order in the
-opinion of its occupant. A huge deal table took up fully
-a quarter of the available space, and deal shelves full of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>books both old and new lined the walls, indeed almost
-everything was of deal, from the uncarpeted floor to the
-chairs. A pile of new volumes in bright bindings stood
-on a corner of the table, which was littered with printed
-papers, sheets of manuscript, galley proofs, and cuttings
-from newspapers. A well-worn penholder lay across a
-half-written page, and the red cork of a bottle of stylo-graphic
-ink projected out of the confusion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George entered this sanctum, and before doing anything
-else proceeded to divest himself of the clothes he wore, putting
-on rusty garments that seemed to belong to different
-epochs. Then he went to the window with something like
-a sigh of relief. The view was not inspiring, but the
-familiarity of it doubtless evoked in his mind trains of
-thought that were pleasant. There was the narrow brickyard
-with its Chinese puzzle of crossing and recrossing
-clothes’ lines. Then a brick wall beyond which he could
-see at a considerable distance the second and third rows
-of windows of a large house. Above, a row of French
-roofs and then the winter sky, red with the last rays of
-the sun. George did not remain long in contemplation
-of this prospect; a glance was apparently enough to restore
-the disturbed balance of his mind. As he turned
-away and busied himself with lighting a green glass kerosene
-lamp, the vision of Constance and Grace Fearing
-dissolved, and gave place to more practical considerations.
-He sat down and laid hold of the uppermost volume from
-the pile of new books, instinctively feeling for his paper-cutter
-with the other hand, among the disorderly litter
-beside him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>After cutting a score of pages, he began to look for the
-editor’s letter. The volumes had been sent him for
-review, and were accompanied by the usual note, stating
-with appalling cynicism the number of words he was
-expected to write as criticism of each production.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“About a hundred words a-piece,” wrote the literary
-editor, “and please return the books with the notices on
-Monday at twelve o’clock, at the latest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>It was Thursday to-day, and there were six volumes
-to be read, digested, and written about. George made a
-short calculation. He must do two each day, on Friday,
-Saturday, and Sunday, in order to leave himself Monday
-morning as a margin in case of accidents. Six
-books, six hundred words, or rather more than half a
-column of the paper for which he wrote. That meant
-five dollars, for the work was well paid, as being supposed
-to require some judgment and taste on the part of
-the writer. There was of course nothing of much importance
-in the heap of gaily-bound printed matter, nothing
-to justify a serious article, and nothing which George
-would care to read twice. Nevertheless the exigencies
-of the book trade must be satisfied, and notices must
-appear, and editors must find persons willing and able
-to write such notices at prices varying from fifty cents
-to a dollar a-piece. Nor was there any difficulty about
-this. George knew that the pay was very good as times
-went, and that there were dozens of starving old maids
-and hungry boys who would do the work for less, and
-would perhaps do it as well as he could. Nor was he
-inclined to quarrel with the conditions which allowed
-him so short a time for the accomplishment of such a
-task. He had worked at second class reviewing for some
-time, and was long past the period of surprises. On the
-contrary, he looked upon the batch of publications with
-considerable satisfaction. The regularity with which
-such parcels had arrived during the last few months was
-a proof that he was doing well, and it seemed probable
-that in the course of the coming year he might be
-entrusted with more important work. Once or twice
-already, he had been instructed to write a column, and
-those were white days in his recollections. He felt that
-with a permanent engagement to produce a column a
-week he should be doing very well, but he knew how
-hard that was to obtain. No one who has not earned his
-bread by this kind of labour can have any idea of the
-crowd that hangs upon the outskirts of professional
-journalism, a crowd not seeking to enter the ranks of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>the regular newspaper men, but hoping to pick up the
-crumbs that fall from the table which appears to them
-so abundantly loaded. To be a professional journalist
-in America a man must in nine cases out of ten begin as
-a reporter. He must possess other qualifications besides
-those of the literary man. He must have a good knowledge
-of shorthand writing and a knack for the popular
-style. He must have an iron constitution and untiring
-nerves. He must be able to sit in a crowded room under
-the glaring gaslight and write out his impressions at an
-hour when ordinary people are in bed and asleep. He
-must possess that brazen assurance which sensitive men
-of taste rarely have, for he will be called upon to interview
-all sorts and conditions of men when they least
-expect it and generally when they least like it. He
-must have a keen instinct for business in order to outwit
-and outrun his competitors in the pursuit of news. Ever
-on the alert, he must not dwell upon the recollections of
-yesterday lest they twine themselves into the reports
-of to-day. Altogether, the commencing journalist must
-be a remarkable being, and most remarkable for a set
-of qualities which are not only useless to the writer of
-books, but which, if the latter possessed them, would
-notably hinder his success. There is no such thing as
-amateur journalism possible within the precincts of a
-great newspaper’s offices, whereas the outer doors are
-besieged by amateurs of every known and unknown
-description.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In the critical and literary departments, the dilettante
-is the cruel enemy of those who are driven to write for
-bread, but who lack either the taste, the qualifications,
-or the opportunities which might give them a seat
-within, among the reporters’ desks! Cruellest of all in
-the eyes of the poor scribbler is the well-to-do man of
-leisure and culture who is personally acquainted with
-the chief editor, and writes occasional criticisms, often
-the most important, for nothing. Then there is the
-young woman who has been to college, who lacks nothing,
-but is ever ready to write for money, which she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>devotes to charitable purposes, thereby depriving some
-unfortunate youth of the dollar a day which means food
-to him, for whose support the public is not already taxed.
-But she knows nothing about him, and it amuses her to
-be connected with the press, and to have the importance
-of exchanging a word with the editor if she meets him
-in the society she frequents. The young man goes on
-the accustomed day for the new books. “I have nothing
-for you this week, Mr. Tompkins,” says the manager of
-the literary department as politely as possible. The
-books are gone to the Vassar girl or to the rich idler,
-and poor Tompkins must not hope to earn his daily dollar
-again till seven or eight days have passed. His only
-consolation is that the dawdling dilettante can never get
-all the work, because he or she cannot write fast enough
-to supply the demand. Without the spur of necessity
-it is impossible to read and review two volumes a day
-for any length of time. It is hard to combine justice to
-an author with the necessity for rushing through his book
-at a hundred pages an hour. It is indeed important to
-cut every leaf, lest the aforesaid literary manager should
-accuse poor little Mr. Tompkins of carelessness and
-superficiality in his judgment; but it is quite impossible
-that Tompkins should read every word of the children’s
-story-book, of the volume of second class sermons, of the
-collection of fifth rate poetry, and of the harrowing tale
-of city life, entitled <cite>The Bucket of Blood</cite>, or <cite>The Washerwoman’s
-Revenge</cite>, all of which have come at once and are
-simultaneously submitted to his authoritative criticism.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood cut through thirty pages of the volume
-he held in his hand, then went to the end and cut backwards,
-then returned to the place he had reached the
-first time, and cut through the middle of the book. It
-was his invariable system, and he found that it succeeded
-very well.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not well done,” he said to himself, quoting
-Johnson, “but one is surprised to see it done at all.
-What can you expect for fifty cents?”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER IV.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Many days passed before George thought of renewing
-his visit to Washington Square, and during that time he
-was not even tempted to go and see Mrs. Trimm. If the
-truth were to be told it might appear that the vision of
-the two young girls, which had kept George in company
-as he returned to his home, did not present itself again
-for a long time with any especial vividness. Possibly
-the surroundings and occupations in the midst of which
-he lived were not of a nature to stir his memories easily;
-possibly, too, and more probably, the first impression
-had lacked strength to fascinate his imagination for more
-than half an hour. The habit of reading a book, writing
-twenty lines of print about it and throwing it aside,
-never to be taken up again, may have its consequences
-in daily life. Though quite unconscious of taking such
-a superficial view of so serious a matter, George’s mind
-treated the Misses Fearing very much as it would have
-treated a book that had been sent in for notice, dealt
-with and seen no more. Now and then, when he was
-not at work, and was even less interested than usual in
-his father’s snatches of conversation, he was conscious
-of remembering his introduction to the two young ladies,
-and strange to say there was something humorous in the
-recollection. Totty’s business-like mode of procedure
-amused him, and what seemed to him her absurd assumption
-of a wild improbability. The ludicrous idea of the
-whole affair entertained his fancy for a few seconds
-before it slipped away again. He could not tell exactly
-where the source of his mirth was situated in the chain
-of ideas, but he almost smiled at the thought of the
-enormous, stiff easy-chairs, and of the bookcase in the
-corner, loaded to the highest shelf with histories bound
-in tree calf and gold. He remembered, too, the look of
-disappointment in Totty’s eyes when he had alluded to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>the respectability of the furniture, as they walked up
-Fifth Avenue.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Those thoughts did not altogether vanish without suggesting
-to George’s inner sight the outlines of the girls’
-faces, and at the same time he had a faint memory of
-the sounds of their voices. It would not displease him
-to see and hear both again, but, on the other hand, a
-visit in the afternoon was an undertaking of some importance,
-a fact which cannot be realised by people who
-have spent their lives in society, and who go to see each
-other as a natural pastime, just as the solitary man takes
-up a book, or as the sailor who has nothing to do knots
-and splices odds and ends of rope. It is not only that
-the material preparations are irksome, and that it is
-a distinctly troublesome affair for the young literary
-drudge to make himself outwardly presentable; there is
-also the tiresome necessity of smoothing out the weary
-brain so that it may be capable of appreciating a set of
-unfamiliar impressions in which it anticipates no relaxation.
-Add to all this the leaven of shyness which so
-often belongs to young and sensitive natures, and the
-slight exertion necessary in such a case swells and rises
-till it seems to be an insurmountable barrier.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A day came, however, when George had nothing to do.
-It would be more accurate to say that on a particular
-afternoon, having finished one piece of work to his satisfaction,
-he did not feel inclined to begin another; for,
-among the many consequences of entering upon a literary
-life is the losing for ever of the feeling that at any
-moment there is nothing to be done. Let a writer work
-until his brain reels and his fingers can no longer hold
-the pen, he will nevertheless find it impossible to rest
-without imagining that he is being idle. He cannot
-escape from the devil that drives him, because he is
-himself the driver and the driven, the fiend and his
-victim, the torturer and the tortured. Let physicians
-rail at the horrible consequences of drink, of excessive
-smoking, of opium, of chloral, and of morphine—the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>most terrible of all stimulants is ink, the hardest of
-taskmasters, the most fascinating of enchanters, the
-breeder of the sweetest dreams and of the most appalling
-nightmares, the most insinuating of poisons, the surest
-of destroyers. One may truly venture to say that of an
-equal number of opium-eaters and professional writers,
-the opium-eaters have the best of it in the matter of long
-life, health, and peace of mind. We all hear of the
-miserable end of the poor wretch who has subsisted for
-years upon stimulants or narcotics, and whose death,
-often at an advanced age, is held up as a warning to
-youth; but who ever knows or speaks of the countless
-deaths due solely to the overuse of pen, ink, and paper?
-Who catalogues the names of those many whose brains
-give way before their bodies are worn out? Who counts
-the suicides brought about by failure, the cases of men
-starving because they would rather write bad English
-than do good work of any other sort? In proportion to
-the whole literary profession of the modern world the
-deaths alone, without counting other accidents, are more
-numerous than those caused by alcohol among drinkers,
-by nicotine among smokers, and by morphine and like
-drugs among those who use them. For one man who
-succeeds in literature, a thousand fail, and a hundred,
-who have looked upon the ink when it was black and
-cannot be warned from it, and whose nostrils have
-smelled the printer’s sacrifice, are ruined for all usefulness
-and go drifting and struggling down the stream of
-failure till death or madness puts an end to their
-sufferings. And yet no one ventures to call writing a
-destroying vice, nor to condemn poor scribblers as “ink-drunkards”.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George walked the whole distance from his house to
-Washington Square. He had not been in that part of
-the city since he had come with his cousin to make his
-first visit, but as he drew near to his destination he
-began to regret that he had allowed more than a fortnight
-to pass without making any attempt to see his new
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>acquaintances. On reaching the house he found that
-Constance Fearing was at home. He was sorry not to
-see the younger sister, with whom he had found conversation
-more easy and sympathetic. On the other hand,
-the atmosphere of the house seemed less stiff and formal
-than on the first occasion; the disposition of the heavy
-furniture had been changed, there were flowers in the
-old-fashioned vases, and there were more books and small
-objects scattered upon the tables.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I was afraid you were never coming again!” exclaimed
-the young girl, holding out her hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was something simple and frank about her
-manner which put George at his ease.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are very kind,” he answered, “I was afraid that
-even to-day might be too soon. But Sherry Trimm says
-that when he is in doubt he plays trumps—and so I
-came.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not at all too soon,” suggested Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The calculation is very simple. A visit once a fortnight
-would make twenty-six visits a year with a fraction
-more in leap year, would it not? Does not that appal you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have not a mathematical mind, and I do not look
-so far ahead. Besides, if we are away for six months in
-the summer, you would not make so many.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I forgot that everybody does not stay in town the
-whole year. I suppose you will go abroad again?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not this year,” answered Miss Fearing rather sadly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George glanced at her face and then looked quickly
-away. He understood her tone, and it seemed natural
-enough that the fresh recollection of her mother’s death
-should for some time prevent both the sisters from
-returning to Europe. He could not help wondering how
-much real sorrow lay behind the young girl’s sadness,
-though he was somewhat astonished to find himself
-engaged in such an odd psychological calculation. He
-did not readily believe evil of any one, and yet he found
-it hard to believe much absolute good. Possibly he may
-have inherited something of this un-trustfulness from his
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span>father, and there was a side in his own character which
-abhorred it. For a few moments there was silence
-between the two. George sitting in his upright chair
-and bending forward, gazing stupidly at his own hands
-clasped upon his knee, while Constance Fearing leaned
-far back in her deep easy-chair watching his dark profile
-against the bright light of the window.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you like people, Miss Fearing?” George asked
-rather suddenly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How do you mean?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I mean, is your first impulse, about people you meet
-for the first time, to trust them, or not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is not an easy question to answer. I do not
-think I have thought much about it. What is your own
-impulse?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are distrustful,” said George in a tone of conviction.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because you answer a question by a question.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is that a sign? How careful one should be! No—I
-will try to answer fairly. I think I am unprejudiced,
-but I like to look at people’s faces before I make up my
-mind about them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And when you have decided, do you change easily?
-Have you not a decided first impression to which you
-come back in spite of your judgment, and in spite of
-yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know. I fancy not. I think I would rather
-not have anything of the kind. Why do you ask?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Out of curiosity. I am not ashamed of being curious.
-Have you ever tried to think what the world would be
-like if nobody asked questions?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would be a very quiet place.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“We should all be asleep. Curiosity is only the waking
-state of the mind. We are all asking questions, all
-the time, either of ourselves, of our friends, or of our
-books. Nine-tenths of them are never answered, but
-that does not prevent us from asking more.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>“Or from repeating the same ones—to ourselves,”
-said Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes; the most interesting ones,”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is most interesting?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Always that which we hope the most and the least
-expect to have,” George answered. “We are talking
-psychology or something very like it,” he added with a
-dry laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is there any reason why we should not?” asked his
-companion. “Why do you laugh, Mr. Wood? Your
-laugh does not sound very heartfelt either.” She fixed
-her clear blue eyes on him for a moment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“One rarely does well what one has not practised
-before an audience,” he answered. “As you suggest,
-there is no reason why we should not talk psychology—if
-we know enough about it—that is to say, if you do,
-for I am sure I do not. There is no subject on which it
-is so easy to make smart remarks.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Excepting our neighbour,” observed Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have no neighbours. Who is my neighbour?”
-asked George rather viciously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think there is a biblical answer to that question.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But I do not live in biblical times; and I suppose
-my scratches are too insignificant to attract the attention
-of any passing Samaritan.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps you have none at all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps not. I suppose our neighbours are ‘them
-that we love that love us,’ so the old toast says. Are
-they not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And those whom we ought to love, I fancy,” suggested
-Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But we ought to love our enemies. What a neighbourly
-world it is, and how full of love it should be!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Fortunately, love is a vague word.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have you never tried to define it?” asked the young
-man.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not clever enough for that. Perhaps you could.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked quickly at the young girl. He was not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>prepared to believe that she made the suggestion out of
-coquetry, but he was not old enough to understand that
-such a remark might have escaped from her lips without
-the slightest intention.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I rather think that definition ends when love begins,”
-he said, after a moment’s pause. “All love is experimental,
-and definition is generally the result of many
-experiments.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Experimental?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. Do you not know many cases in which people
-have tried the experiment and have failed? It is no
-less an experiment if it happens to succeed. Affection
-is a matter of fact, but love is a matter of speculation.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should not think that experimental love would be
-worth much,” said Constance, with a shade of embarrassment.
-A very faint colour rose in her cheeks as she
-spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“One should have tried it before one should judge. Or
-else, one should begin at the other extremity and work
-backwards from hate to love, through the circle of one’s
-acquaintances.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why are you always alluding to hating people?”
-asked the young girl, turning her eyes upon him with a
-look of gentle, surprised protest. “Is it for the sake of
-seeming cynical, or for the sake of making paradoxes?
-It is not really possible that you should hate every one,
-you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“With a few brilliant exceptions, you are quite right,”
-George answered. “But I was hoping to discover that
-you hated some one, for the sake of observing your
-symptoms. You look so very good.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It would have been hard to say that the expression of
-his face had changed, but as he made the last remark
-the lines that naturally gave his mouth a scornful look
-were unusually apparent. The colour appeared again in
-Constance’s cheeks, a little brighter than before, and
-her eyes glistened as she looked away from her visitor.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think you might find that appearances are deceptive,
-if you go on,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>“Should I?” asked George quietly, his features relaxing
-in a singularly attractive smile which was rarely
-seen upon his face. He was conscious of a thrill of
-intense satisfaction at the manifestation of the young
-girl’s sensitiveness, a satisfaction which he could not
-then explain, but which was in reality highly artistic.
-The sensation could only be compared to that produced
-in an appreciative ear by a new and perfectly harmonious
-modulation sounded upon a very beautiful instrument.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wonder,” he resumed presently, “what form the
-opposite of goodness would take in you. Are you ever
-very angry? Perhaps it is rude to ask such questions.
-Is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know. No one was ever rude to me,” Constance
-answered calmly. “But I have been angry—since
-you ask—I often am, about little things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And are you very fierce and terrible on those occasions?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very terrible indeed,” laughed the young girl. “I
-should frighten you if you were to see me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I can well believe that. I am of a timid disposition.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you? You do not look like it. I shall ask Mrs.
-Trimm if it is true. By-the-bye, have you seen her to-day?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not since we were here together.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I thought you saw her very often. I had a note from
-her yesterday. I suppose you know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know nothing. What is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Old Mr. Craik is very ill—dying, they say. She
-wrote to tell me so, explaining why she had not been
-here.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George’s eyes suddenly gleamed with a disagreeable
-light. The news was as unexpected as it was agreeable.
-Not, indeed, that George could ever hope to profit in any
-way by the old man’s death; for he was naturally so
-generous that, if such a prospect had existed, he would
-have been the last to rejoice in its realisation. He hated
-Thomas Craik with an honest and disinterested hatred,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>and the idea the world was to be rid of him at last was
-inexpressibly delightful.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He is dying, is he?” he asked in a constrained voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You seem glad to hear it,” said Constance, looking at
-him with some curiosity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I? Yes—well, I am not exactly sorry!” His laugh
-was harsh and unreal. “You could hardly expect me to
-shed tears—that is, if you know anything of my father’s
-misfortunes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, I have heard something. But I am sorry that I
-was the person to give you the news.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why? I am grateful to you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know you are, and that is precisely what I do not
-like. I do not expect you to be grieved, but I do not like
-to see one man so elated over the news of another man’s
-danger.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why not say, his death!” exclaimed George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance was silent for a moment, and then looked
-at him as she spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hardly know you, Mr. Wood. This is only the
-second time I have seen you, and I have no right to make
-remarks about your character. But I cannot help thinking—that——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She hesitated, not as though from any embarrassment,
-but as if she could not find the words she wanted. George
-made no attempt to help her, though he knew perfectly
-well what she wanted to say. He waited coldly to see
-whether she could complete her sentence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You ought not to think such things,” she said suddenly,
-“and if you do, you ought not to show it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In other words, you wish me to reform either my
-character or my manners, or both? Do you know that old
-Tom Craik ruined my father? Do you know that after
-he had done that, he let my father’s reputation suffer,
-though my father was as honest as the daylight, and he
-himself was the thief? That sounds very dramatic and
-theatrical, does it not? It is all very true nevertheless.
-And yet, you expect me to be such a clever actor as not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>to show my satisfaction at your news. All I can say,
-Miss Fearing, is that you expect a great deal of human
-nature, and that I am very sorry to be the particular individual
-who is fated to disappoint your expectations.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course you feel strongly about it—I did not
-know all you have just told me, or I would not have
-spoken. I wish every one could forgive—it is so right
-to forgive.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—undoubtedly,” assented George. “Begin by
-forgiving me, please, and then tell me what is the matter
-with the worthy Mr. Craik.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mrs. Trimm seems to think it is nervous prostration—what
-everybody has nowadays.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is she very much cut up?” George asked with an air
-of concern.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She writes that she does not leave him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nor will—until——” George stopped short.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What were you going to say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I was going to make a remark about the human will
-in general and about the wills of dying men in particular.
-It was very ill-natured, and in direct contradiction to your
-orders.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose she will have all his fortune in any case,”
-observed Constance, repressing a smile, as though she felt
-that it would not suit the tone she had taken before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Since you make so worldly an inquiry, I presume we
-may take it for granted that the mantle of Mr. Craik’s
-filthy lucre will descend upon the unwilling shoulders
-of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm. To be plain, Totty will get
-the dollars. Well—I wish her joy. She is not acquainted
-with poverty, as it is, nor was destitution ever
-her familiar friend.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you affect that biblical sort of language?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It seems to me more forcible than swearing. Besides,
-you would not let me swear, I am sure, even if I wanted
-to.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Certainly not——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well, then you must forgive the imperfections
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span>of my style in consideration of my not doing very much
-worse. I think I will go and ask how Mr. Craik is doing
-to-day. Would not that show a proper spirit of charity
-and forgiveness?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope you will do nothing of the sort!” exclaimed
-Constance hastily.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Would it not be a proof that I had profited by your
-instruction?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think it would be very hypocritical, and not at all
-nice.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you? It seems to me that it would only look
-civil——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“From what you told me, civility can hardly be expected
-from you in this case.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not obliged to tell the servant at the door the
-motive of my curiosity when I inquire after the health
-of a dying relation. That would be asking too much.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You can inquire just as well at Mrs. Trimm’s——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Craik’s house is on my way home from here—Totty’s
-is not on the direct line.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope you—how absurd of me, though! It is no
-business of mine.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George could not say anything in reply to this statement,
-but an expression of amusement came over his
-face, which did not escape his companion. Constance
-laughed a little nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are obliged to admit that it is none of my business,
-you see,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am in the position of a man who cannot assent
-without being rude, nor differ without impugning the
-known truth.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That was very well done, Mr. Wood,” said Constance.
-“I have nothing more to say.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“To me? Then I herewith most humbly take my
-leave.” George rose from his seat.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did not mean that!” exclaimed the young girl with
-a smile. “Do not go——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is growing late, and Mr. Craik may be gathered to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>his fathers before I can ring at his door and ask how he
-is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, please do not talk any more about that poor
-man!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If I stay here I shall. May I come again some day,
-Miss Fearing? You bear me no malice for being afflicted
-with so much original sin?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Its originality almost makes it pardonable. Come
-whenever you please. We shall always be glad to see
-you, and I hope that my sister will be here the next
-time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George vaguely hoped that she would not as he bowed
-and left the room. He had enjoyed the visit far more
-than Constance had, for whereas his conversation had
-somewhat disquieted her sensitive feeling of fitness, hers
-had afforded him a series of novel and delightful sensations.
-He was conscious of a new interest, of a new
-train of thought, and especially of an odd and inexplicable
-sense of physical comfort that seemed to proceed
-from the region of the heart, as though his body had
-been cheered, his blood warmed, and his circulation
-stimulated by the assimilation of many good things. As
-he walked up the Avenue, he did not ask himself
-whether he had produced a good or a bad impression
-upon Miss Fearing, nor whether he had talked well or
-ill, still less whether the young girl had liked him,
-though it is probable that if he had put any of these
-questions to his inner consciousness that complacent
-witness would, in his present mood, have answered all
-his inquiries in the way most satisfactory to his vanity.
-For some reason or other he was not curious to know
-what his inner consciousness thought of the matter. For
-the moment, sensation was enough, and he was surprised
-to discover that sensation could be so agreeable. He
-knew that he was holding his head higher than usual,
-that his glance was more confident than it was wont to
-be, and his step more elastic, but he did not connect any
-of these phenomena in a direct way with his visit in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>Washington Square. Perhaps there was a vague notion
-afloat in his brain to the effect that if he once allowed
-the connection he should be forced into calling himself
-a fool, and that it was consequently far wiser to enjoy
-the state in which he found himself than to inquire too
-closely into its immediate or remote causes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It is also probable that if George Wood’s condition of
-general satisfaction on that evening had been more
-clearly dependent upon his recollection of the young
-lady he had just left, he would have felt an impulse to
-please her by doing as she wished; in other words, he
-would have gone home or would have passed by Totty’s
-house to make inquiries, instead of executing his purpose
-of ringing at Mr. Craik’s door. But there was something
-contradictory in his nature, which drove him to do the
-very things which most men would have left undone;
-and moreover there was a grain of grim humour in the
-idea of asking in person after Tom Craik’s health, which
-made the plan irresistibly attractive. He imagined his
-own expression when he should tell his father what he
-had done, and he knew the old gentleman well enough to
-guess that the satire of the proceeding would inwardly
-please him in spite of himself, though he would certainly
-look grave and shake his head when he heard the story.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance Fearing’s meditations, when she was left
-alone, were of a very different character. She stood for
-a long time at the window looking out into the purple
-haze that hung about the square, and then she turned
-and went and sat before the fire, and gazed at the glowing
-coals. George Wood could not but have felt flattered
-had he known that was the subject of her thoughts during
-the greater part of an hour after his departure, and
-he would have been very much surprised at his own
-ignorance of human nature had he guessed that her mind
-was disturbed by the remembrance of her own conduct.
-He would assuredly have called her morbid and have
-doubted the sincerity of her most sacred convictions, and
-if he could have looked into her mind, that part of his
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>history which was destined to be connected with hers
-would in all likelihood have remained unenacted. He
-could certainly not have understood her mood at that
-time, and the attempt to do so would have filled him
-with most unreasonable prejudices against her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To the young girl it seemed indeed a very serious
-matter to have criticised George’s conduct and to have
-thrust her advice upon him. It was the first time she
-had ever done such a thing and she wondered at her own
-boldness. She repeated to herself that it was none of
-her business to consider what George Wood did, and
-still less to sit in judgment upon his thoughts, and yet
-she was glad that she had spoken as she had. She knew
-very little about men, and she was willing to believe
-they might all think alike. At all events this particular
-man had very good cause for resentment against Thomas
-Craik. Nevertheless there was something in his evident
-delight at the prospect of the old man’s death that was
-revolting to her finest feelings. Absolutely ignorant of
-the world’s real evil, she saw her own path beset with
-imaginary sins of the most varied description, to avoid
-committing which needed the constant wakefulness of a
-delicate sensibility; and as she knew of no greater or
-more real evils, she fancied that the lives of others must
-be like her own—a labyrinth of transparent cobwebs, to
-brush against one of which, even inadvertently, was but
-a little removed from crime itself. Her education had
-been so strongly influenced by religion and her natural
-sensitiveness was so great, that the main object of life
-presented itself to her as the necessity for discovering
-an absolute right or wrong in the most minute action,
-and the least relaxation of this constant watch appeared
-to her to be indicative of moral sloth. The fact that,
-with such a disposition she was not an intolerable nuisance
-to all who knew her, was due to her innate tact and
-good taste, and in some measure to her youth, which
-lent its freshness and innocence to all she did and
-thought and said. At the present time her conscience
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>seemed to be more than usually active and dissatisfied.
-She assuredly did not believe that it was her mission to
-reform George Wood, or to decorate his somewhat peculiar
-character with religious arabesques of faith, hope,
-and charity; but it is equally certain that she felt an
-unaccountable interest in his conduct, and a degree of
-curiosity in his actions which, considering how slightly
-she knew him, was little short of amazing. Had she
-been an older woman, less religious and more aware of
-her own instincts, she would have asked herself whether
-she was not already beginning to care for George Wood
-himself rather than for the blameless rectitude of her
-own moral feelings. But with her the refinements of a
-girlish religiousness had so far got the upper hand of
-everything else that she attributed her uneasiness to the
-doubt about her own conduct rather than to a secret attraction
-which was even then beginning to exercise its influence
-over her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was to be foreseen that Constance Fearing would
-not fall in love easily, even under the most favourable
-circumstances. The most innocent love in the world
-often finds a barrier in the species of religious sentimentality
-by which she was at that time dominated, for
-morbid scruples have power to kill spontaneity and all
-that is spontaneous, among which things love is first, or
-should be. Constance was not like her sister Grace, who
-had loved John Bond ever since they had been children,
-and who meant to marry him as soon as possible. Her
-colder temperament would lose time in calculating for
-the future instead of allowing her to be happy in the
-present. Deep in her heart, too, there lay a seed of
-unhappiness, in the habit of doubting which had grown
-out of her mistrust of her own motives. She was very
-rich. Should a poor suitor present himself, could she
-help fearing lest he loved her money, when she could
-hardly find faith in herself for the integrity of her own
-most trivial intentions? She never thought of Grace
-without admiring her absolute trust in the man she
-loved.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER V.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Thomas Craik lay ill in his great house, listening for
-the failing beatings of his heart as the last glow of the
-February afternoon faded out of the curtains and withdrew
-its rich colour from the carved panels on the walls.
-He lay upon his pillows, an emaciated old man with a
-waxen face and head, sunken eyes that seemed to have
-no sight in them. Short locks of yellowish grey hair
-strayed about his forehead and temples, like dry grasses
-scattered over a skull. There was no beard upon his
-face, and the hard old lips were tightly drawn in a set
-expression, a little apart, so that the black shadow of
-the open mouth was visible between them. The long,
-nervous hands lay upon the counterpane together, the
-fingers of the one upon the wrist of the other feeling the
-sinking pulse, searching with their numbed extremities
-for a little flutter of motion in the dry veins. Thomas
-Craik lay motionless in his bed, not one outward sign
-betraying the tremendous conflict that was taking place
-in his still active brain. He was himself to the last,
-such as he had always been in the great moments of his
-life, apparently cool and collected, in reality filled with
-the struggle of strong, opposing passions.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was not alone. Two great physicians were standing
-in silence, side by side, before the magnificent
-chimney-piece, beneath which a soft fire of dry wood
-was burning steadily with a low and unvarying musical
-roar. An attendant sat upright upon a carved chair at
-the foot of the bed, not taking his eyes from the sick
-man’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The room was large and magnificent in its furniture
-and appointments. The high wainscot had been carved
-in rare woods after the designs of a great French artist.
-The walls above were covered with matchless Cordova
-leather from an Italian palace. The ceiling was composed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>of rich panels that surrounded a broad canvas from the
-hand of a famous Spanish master, dead long ago. The
-chimney-piece was enriched with old brass work from
-Cairo, and with exquisite tiles from Turkish mosques.
-Priceless eastern carpets of which not one was younger
-than the century, covered the inlaid wooden floor. Diana
-of Poitiers had slept beneath the canopy of the princely
-bedstead; it was said that Louis the Fourteenth had
-eaten off the table that was placed beside it, and Benvenuto
-Cellini had carved the silver bell which stood
-within reach of the patient’s hand. There was incongruity
-in the assemblage of different objects, but the
-great value of each and all saved the effect from vulgarity,
-and lent to the whole something of the odd
-harmony peculiar to certain collections.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was the opinion of the two doctors that Tom Craik
-was dying. They had done what they could for him and
-were waiting for the end. As to his malady it was
-sufficiently clear to both of them that his vitality was
-exhausted and that even if he survived this crisis he
-could not have long to live. They agreed that the action
-of the heart had been much impaired by a life of constant
-excitement and that the nerves had lost their
-elasticity. They had taken pains to explain to his
-sister, Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, that there was very little
-to be done and that the patient should be advised to
-make his last dispositions, since a little fatigue more or
-less could make no material difference in his state,
-whereas he would probably die more easily if his mind
-were free from anxiety. Totty had spent the day in the
-house and intended to return in the evening. She bore
-up very well under the trial, and the physicians felt
-obliged to restrain her constant activity in tending her
-brother while she was in the room, as it seemed to make
-him nervous and irritable. She had their fullest sympathy,
-of course, as persons who are supposed to be sole
-legatees of the dying very generally have, but so far as
-their professional capacity was concerned, the two felt
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>that it went better with the patient when his faithful
-sister was out of the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>From time to time inquiries were made on the part
-of acquaintances, generally through their servants, but
-they were not many. Though the other persons in the
-room scarcely heard the distant ringing of the muffled bell,
-and the careful opening and shutting of the street door,
-the feeble old man never failed to catch the sound of both
-and either with his eyes or half-uttered words asked who
-had called. On receiving the answer he generally moved
-his head a little wearily and his lids drooped again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is there anybody you expect? Anybody you wish to
-see?” one of the physicians once asked, bending low and
-speaking softly. He suspected that something was disquieting
-the dying man’s mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But there was no answer, and the lids drooped again.
-It was now dusk and it would soon be night. Many
-hours might pass before the end came, and the doctors
-consulted in low tones as to which of them should remain.
-Just then the faint and distant rattle of the bell was
-heard. Immediately Tom Craik stirred, and seemed to
-be listening attentively. The two men ceased speaking
-and they could hear the front door softly open in the
-street below, and close again a few seconds later. One
-of the physicians glanced at the patient, saw the usual
-look of inquiry in his face and quickly left the room.
-When he returned he held a card in his hand, which he
-took to the bedside after looking at it by the fireside.
-Bending down, he spoke in a low tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. George Winton Wood has called,” he said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Tom Craik’s sunken eyes opened suddenly and fixed
-themselves on the speaker’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Any message?” he asked very feebly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He said he had only just heard of your illness, and
-was very sorry—would call again.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A strange look of satisfaction came into the old man’s
-colourless face, and a low sigh escaped his lips as he
-closed his eyes again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>“Would you like to see him?” inquired the doctor.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The patient shook his head without raising his lids,
-and the room was still once more. Presently the other
-physician departed and the one who was left installed
-himself in a comfortable chair from which he could see
-the bed and the door. During half an hour no sound was
-heard save the muffled roar of the wood fire. At last the
-sick man stirred again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Doctor—come here,” he said in a harsh whisper.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is it, Mr. Craik?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Send for Trimm at once.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mrs. Trimm, did you say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—Sherry Trimm himself—make my will—see?
-Quick.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The physician stared at his patient for a moment in
-very considerable surprise, for he thought he had reason
-to suppose that Thomas Craik’s will had been made
-already, and now he half suspected that the old man’s
-mind was wandering. He hesitated.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You think I’m not able, do you?” asked Craik, his
-rough whisper rising to a growl. “Well, I am. I’m
-not dead yet, so get him quickly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The doctor left the room without further delay, to give
-the necessary orders. When he returned, Mr. Craik was
-lying with his eyes wide open, staring at the fire.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Give me something, can’t you?” he said with more
-energy than he had shown that day.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The doctor began to think that it was not yet all up
-with his patient, as he mixed something in a glass and
-gave it to him. Craik drank eagerly and moved his
-stiffened lips afterwards as though he had enjoyed the
-taste of the drink.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I may not jockey the undertaker,” he grumbled, “but
-I shall last till morning, anyhow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Nearly half an hour elapsed before Sherrington Trimm
-reached the house, but during all that time Thomas Craik
-did not close his eyes again. His face looked less waxen,
-too, and his sight seemed to have recovered some of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>light that had been fading out of it by degrees all day.
-The doctor watched him with interest, wondering, as doctors
-must often wonder, what was passing in his brain,
-what last, unspent remnant of life’s passions had caused
-so sudden a revival of his energy, and whether this manifestation
-of strength were the last flare of the dying lamp,
-or whether Tom Craik, to use his own words, would jockey
-the undertaker, as he had jockeyed many another adversary
-in his stirring existence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The door opened, and Sherrington Trimm entered the
-room. He was a short, active man, slightly inclined to
-be stout, bald and very full about the chin and neck,
-with sharp, movable blue eyes, and a closely-cut, grizzled
-moustache. His hands were plump, white and pointed,
-his feet were diminutive and his dress was irreproachable.
-He had a habit of turning his head quickly to the right
-and left when he spoke, as though challenging contradiction.
-He came briskly to the bedside and took one of
-Craik’s wasted hands in his, with a look of honest sympathy.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How are you, Tom?” he inquired, suppressing his
-cheerful voice to a sort of subdued chirp.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“According to him,” growled Craik, glancing at the
-doctor, “I believe I died this afternoon. However, I
-want to make my will, so get out your tools, Sherry, and
-set to. Please leave us alone,” he added, looking up at
-the physician.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The latter went out, taking the attendant with him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Your will!” exclaimed Sherry Trimm, when the
-door had closed behind the two. “I thought——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Bad habit, thinking things. Don’t. Put that drink
-where I can reach it—so. There’s paper on the table.
-Sit down.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Trimm saw that he had better not argue the matter,
-and he did as he was bidden. He was indeed very much
-surprised at the sudden turn of affairs, for he was perfectly
-well aware that Tom Craik had made a will some
-years previously in which he left his whole fortune to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>his only sister, Trimm’s wife. The lawyer wondered
-what his brother-in-law intended to do now, and as the
-only means of ascertaining the truth seemed to be to
-obey his orders, he lost no time in preparing to receive
-the dictation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This the last will and testament of me, Thomas
-Craik,” said the sick man, sharply. “Got that? Go
-on. I do hereby revoke and annul all former wills made
-by me. That’s correct isn’t it? No, I’m not wandering—not
-a bit. Very important that clause—very. Go
-ahead about the just debts and funeral expenses. I
-needn’t dictate that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Trimm wrote rapidly on, nervously anxious to get to
-the point.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Got that? Well. I bequeath all my worldly possessions,
-real and personal estate of all kinds—go on with
-the stock phrases—include house and furniture, trinkets
-and everything.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Trimm’s hand moved quickly along the ruled lines of
-the foolscap.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“To whom?” he asked almost breathlessly, as he
-reached the end of the formal phrase.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“To George Winton Wood,” said Craik with an odd
-snap of the lips. “His name’s on that card, Sherry,
-beside you, if you don’t know how to spell it. Go on.
-Son of Jonah Wood of New York, and of Fanny Winton
-deceased, also of New York. No mistake about the
-identity, eh? Got it down? To have and to hold—and
-all the rest of it. Let’s get to the signature—look
-sharp! Get in the witness clause right—that’s the most
-important—don’t forget to say, in our presence and in
-the presence of each other—there’s where the hitch
-comes in about proving wills. All right. Ring for the
-doctor and we’ll have the witnesses right away. Make
-the date clear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Sherrington Trimm had not recovered from his surprise,
-as he pressed the silver button of the bell. The
-physician entered immediately.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>“Can you be the other witness yourself, Sherry?
-Rather not? Doctor, just send for Stubbs, will you
-please? He’ll do, won’t he?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Trimm nodded, while he and the physician set a small
-invalid’s table upon the sick man’s knees, and spread
-upon it the will, of which the ink was not yet dry.
-Trimm dipped the pen in the ink and handed it to Mr.
-Craik.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Let me drink first,” said the latter. He swallowed
-the small draught eagerly, and then looked about him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you sign?” asked Trimm nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is Stubbs here? Wait for him. Here, Stubbs—you
-see—this is my will. I’m going to sign it, and you’re
-a witness.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, sir,” said the butler, gravely. He moved forward
-cautiously so that he could see the document and
-recognise it if he should ever be called upon to do so.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The sick man steadied himself while the doctor thrust
-his arm behind the pillows to give him more support.
-Then he set the pen to the paper and traced his name in
-large, clear characters. He did not take his eyes from
-the paper until the doctor and the servant had signed as
-witnesses. Then his head fell back on the pillows.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Take that thing away, Sherry, and keep it,” he said,
-feebly, for the strength had gone out of him all at once.
-“You may want it to-morrow—or you may not.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mechanically he laid his fingers on his own pulse, and
-then lay quite still. Sherrington Trimm looked at the
-doctor with an expression of inquiry, but the latter only
-shrugged his shoulders and turned away. After such a
-manifestation of energy as he had just seen, he felt that
-it was impossible to foresee what would happen. Tom
-Craik’s nerves might weather the strain after all, and
-he might recover. Mr. Trimm folded the document
-neatly, wrapped it in a second sheet of paper and put it
-into his pocket. Then he prepared to take his leave.
-He touched the sick man’s hand gently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good-night, Tom,” he said, bending over his brother-in-law.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span>“I will call in the morning and ask how you
-are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Craik opened his eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tell nobody what I have done, till I’m dead,” he
-answered in a whisper. “Good-night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mr. Trimm felt no inclination to divulge the contents
-of the will. He was a very shrewd and keen man, who
-could certainly not be accused of having ever neglected
-his own interest, but he was also scrupulously honest,
-not only with that professional honesty which is both
-politic and lucrative, but in all his thoughts and reasonings
-with himself. At the present moment, his position
-was not an agreeable one. It is true that neither he nor
-his wife were in need of Craik’s money, for they had
-plenty of their own; but it is equally certain that during
-several years past they had confidently expected to
-inherit the old man’s fortune, if he died before them.
-Trimm had himself drawn up the will by which his wife
-was made the heir to almost everything Craik possessed.
-There had been a handsome legacy provided for this same
-George Winton Wood, but all the rest was to have been
-Totty’s. And now Trimm had seen the whole aspect of
-the future changed by a stroke of the pen, apparently
-during the last minutes of the old man’s life. He knew
-that the testator was in full possession of his senses, and
-that the document was as valid as any will could be.
-Conscientious as he was, if he had believed that Craik
-was no longer sane, he would have been quite ready to
-take advantage of the circumstance, and would have lost
-no time in consulting the physician with a view to
-obtaining evidence in the case that would arise. But it
-was evident that Craik’s mind was in no way affected by
-his illness. The thing was done, and if Craik died it was
-irrevocable. Sherry and Totty Trimm would never live
-in the magnificent house of which they had so often talked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not even the house!” he whispered to himself as he
-went down stairs. “Not even the house!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>For a legacy he would not have cared. A few thousands
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>were no object to him, and he was unlike his wife
-in that he did not care for money itself. The whole
-fortune, or half of it, added to what the couple already
-had, would have made in their lives the difference
-between luxury and splendour; the possession of the
-house alone, with what it contained, would have given
-them the keenest pleasure, but in Trimm’s opinion a
-paltry legacy of ten thousand dollars, or so, would not
-have been worth the trouble of taking. Of course it was
-possible that Tom Craik might recover, and make a third
-will. Trimm knew by experience that a man who will
-once change his mind completely, may change it a dozen
-times if he have time. But Craik was very ill and there
-seemed little likelihood of his ever getting upon his
-legs again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Trimm had known much of his brother-in-law’s affairs
-during the last twenty years, and he was far less surprised
-at the way in which he had now finally wound
-them up, before taking his departure from life, than
-most people would have been. He knew better than any
-one that Craik was not so utterly bad-hearted as he was
-generally believed to be, and he knew that as the man
-grew older he felt twinges of remorse when he thought
-of Jonah Wood. That he cordially detested the latter
-was not altogether astonishing, since he had so greatly
-injured him, but the natural contrariety of his nature
-forced him into an illogical situation. He hated Wood
-and yet he desired to make him some sort of restitution,
-not indeed out of principle or respect for any law, human
-or divine, but as a means of pacifying his half-nervous,
-half-superstitious conscience. He could not have done
-anything openly in the matter, for that would have been
-equivalent to acknowledging the unwritten debt, so that
-the only way out of his difficulty lay in the disposal of
-his fortune after his death. But although he suffered
-something very like remorse, he hated Jonah Wood too
-thoroughly to insert his name in his will. There was
-nothing to be done but to leave money to George. It
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>had seemed to him that a legacy of a hundred thousand
-dollars would be enough to procure his own peace of
-mind, and having once made that arrangement he had
-dismissed the subject.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But as he lay in this illness, which he believed was to
-be his last, further change had taken place in his view
-of the matter. He was naturally suspicious, as well as
-shrewd, and the extreme anxiety displayed by his sister
-had attracted his attention. They had always lived on
-excellent terms, and Totty was distinctly a woman of
-demonstrative temperament. It was assuredly not surprising
-that she should show much feeling for her brother
-and spend much time in taking care of him. It was quite
-right that she should be at his bedside in moments of
-danger, and that she should besiege the doctors with
-questions about Tom’s chances of recovery. But in
-Tom’s opinion there was a false note in her good behaviour
-and a false ring in her voice. There was something
-strained, something not quite natural, something he
-could hardly define, but which roused all the powers of
-opposition for which he had been famous throughout his
-life. It was a peculiarity of his malady that his mental
-faculties were wholly unimpaired, and were, if anything,
-sharpened by his bodily sufferings and by his anxiety
-about his own state. The consequence was that as soon
-as the doubt about Totty’s sincerity had entered his
-mind, he had concentrated his attention upon it, had
-studied it and had applied himself to accounting for her
-minutest actions and most careless words upon the theory
-that she was playing a part. In less than twenty-four
-hours the suspicion had become a conviction, and Craik
-felt sure that Totty was overdoing her show of sisterly
-affection in order to hide her delight at the prospect of
-her brother’s death. It is not too unjust to say that
-there was a proportion of truth in Mr. Craik’s suppositions,
-and that Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s perturbation
-of spirits did not result so much from the dread of a
-great sorrow as from the prospect of a very great satisfaction
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>when that sorrow should have spent itself. She
-was not in the least ashamed of her heartlessness, either.
-Was she not doing everything in her power to soothe her
-brother’s last days, sacrificing to his comfort the last
-taste of gaiety she could enjoy until the mourning for
-him should be over, submitting to a derangement of her
-comfortable existence which was nothing short of distracting?
-It was not her fault if Tom had not one of
-those lovable natures whose departure from this life
-leaves a great void in the place where they have dwelt.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But from being convinced that Totty cared only for
-the money to the act of depriving her of it was a long
-distance for the old man’s mind to pass over. He was
-just enough to admit that in a similar position he would
-have felt very much as she did, though he would certainly
-have acted his part more skilfully and with less theatrical
-exaggeration. After all, money was a very good thing,
-and a very desirable thing, as Thomas Craik knew, better
-than most people. After all, too, Totty was his sister,
-his nearest relation, the only one of his connections with
-whom he had not quarrelled at one time or another.
-The world would think it very natural that she should
-have everything, and there was no reason why she should
-not, unless her anxiety to get it could be called one. He
-considered the case in all its bearings. If, for instance,
-that young fellow, George Wood, whom he had not seen
-since he had been a boy, were to be put in Totty’s place,
-what would he feel, and what would he do? He would
-undoubtedly wish that Tom Craik might die speedily,
-and his eyes would assuredly gleam when he thought of
-moving into the gorgeous house, a month after the
-funeral. That was only human nature, simple, unadorned,
-everyday human nature. But the boy supposed
-that he had no chance of getting anything, and did not
-even think it worth while to ring at the door and ask the
-news of his dying relation. Of course not; why should
-he? And yet, thought the sour old man, if George Wood
-could guess how near he was to being made a millionaire,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>how nimbly his feet would move in the appropriate
-direction, with what alacrity he would ring the bell,
-with what an accent of subdued sympathy he would
-question the servant! Truly, if by any chance he
-should take it into his head to make inquiries, there
-would be an instance of disinterested good feeling,
-indeed. He would never do that. Why then should
-the money be given to him rather than to Totty?</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But the idea had taken possession of the old man’s active
-brain, and would not be chased away. As he thought
-about it, too, it seemed as though he might die more
-easily if such full restitution were made. No one could
-tell anything about the future state of existence. Thomas
-Craik was no atheist, though he had never found time or
-inclination to look into the question of religion, and certain
-peculiarities in his past conduct had made any such
-meditations particularly distasteful to him. When once
-the end had come the money could be of no use to him,
-and if George Wood had it, Thomas Craik might stand a
-better chance in the next world. Totty had received her
-share of the gain, too, and had no claim to any more of
-it. He had managed her business with his own and had
-enriched her while enriching himself, with what had belonged
-to Jonah Wood, and to a great number of other
-people. At all events, if he left everything to George no
-one could accuse him hereafter—whatever that might
-mean—with not having done all he could to repair the
-wrong. He said to himself philosophically that one of
-two things must happen; either he was to die, and in
-that case he would do well to die with as clear a conscience
-as he could buy, or he was to recover, and would
-then have plenty of time to reflect upon his course without
-having deprived himself of what he liked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At last, between the two paths that were open to him,
-he became confused, and with characteristic coolness he
-determined to leave the matter to chance. If George Wood
-showed enough interest in him to come to the door and
-make inquiries, he would change his will. If the young
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>fellow did not show himself, Totty should have the fortune.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That’s what I call giving Providence a perfectly fair
-chance,” he said to himself. A few hours after he had
-reached this conclusion George actually came to the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then Tom Craik hesitated no longer. The whole thing
-was done and conclusively settled without loss of time,
-as Craik had always loved to do business.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It is probable that if George had guessed the importance
-of the simple act of asking after his relation’s
-condition, he would have gone home without passing the
-door, and would have spent so much time in reflecting
-upon his course, that it would have been too late to do
-anything in the matter. The problem would not have
-been an easy one to solve, involving, as it did, a question
-of honesty in motive on the one hand, and a consideration
-of true justice on the other. If any one had asked him
-for his advice in a similar case he would have answered
-with a dry laugh that a man should never neglect his opportunities,
-that no one would be injured by the transaction,
-and that the money belonged by right to the family
-of the man from whom it had been unjustly taken. But
-though George could affect a cynically practical business
-tone in talking of other people’s affairs he was not capable
-of acting upon such principles in his own case. To
-extract profit of any sort from what was nothing short of
-hypocrisy would have been impossible to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had been unable to resist the temptation of asking
-the news, because he sincerely hoped that the old man
-was about to draw his last breath, and because there
-seemed to him to be something attractively ironical in the
-action. He even expected that Mr. Craik would understand
-that the inquiry was made from motives of hatred
-rather than of sympathy, and imagined with pleasure that
-the thought might inflict a sting and embitter his last
-moments. There was nothing contrary to George’s feelings
-in that, though he would have flushed with shame
-at the idea that he was to be misunderstood and that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>what was intended for an insult was to be rewarded with
-a splendid fortune.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Very possibly, too, there was a feeling of opposition
-concerned in his act, for which he himself could not
-have accounted. He was not fond of advice, and Constance
-Fearing had seemed very anxious that he should
-not do what he had done. Being still very young, it
-seemed absurd to him that a young girl whom he scarcely
-knew and had only seen twice should interfere with his
-free will.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>This contrariety was wholly unreasoning, and if he
-had tried to understand it, he would have failed in the
-attempt. He would certainly not have attributed it to
-the beginning of a serious affection, for he was not old
-enough to know how often love’s early growth is hidden
-by what we take wrongly for an antagonism of feeling.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>However all these things may be explained, George
-Wood felt that he was in a humour quite new to him,
-when he rang at Tom Craik’s door. He was elated without
-knowing why, and yet he was full of viciously
-combative instincts. His heart beat with a pleasant
-alacrity, and his mind was unusually clear. He would
-have said that he was happy, and yet his happiness was
-by no means of the kind which makes men at peace with
-their surroundings or gentle toward those with whom
-they have to do. There was something overbearing in
-it, that agreed with his natural temper and that found
-satisfaction in what was meant for an act of unkindness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He found his father reading before the fire. The old
-gentleman read, as he did everything else, with the air
-of a man who is performing a serious duty. He sat in
-a high-backed chair with wooden arms, his glasses carefully
-adjusted upon his nose, his head held high, his lips
-set in a look of determination, his long hands holding
-the heavy volume in the air before his sight and expressive
-in their solid grasp of a fixed and unalterable purpose.
-George paused on the threshold, wondering for
-the thousandth time that so much resolution of character
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span>as was visible in the least of his father’s actions, should
-have produced so little practical result in the struggles
-of a long life.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Won’t you shut that door, George?” said Jonah Wood,
-not looking away from his book nor moving a muscle.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George did as he was requested and came slowly forward.
-He stood still for a moment before the fireplace,
-spreading his hands to the blaze.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tom Craik is dying,” he said at last, looking at his
-father’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was an almost imperceptible quiver in the strong
-hands that held the book. A very slight colour rose in
-the massive grey face. But that was all. The eyes remained
-fixed on the page, and the angle at which the
-volume was supported did not change.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well,” said the mechanical voice, “we must all die
-some day.”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER VI.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>The world was very much surprised when it was
-informed that Thomas Craik was not dead after all.
-During several weeks he lay in the utmost danger, and
-it was little short of a miracle that he was kept alive—one
-of those miracles which are sometimes performed
-upon the rich by physicians in luck. While he was ill
-George, who was disappointed to find that there was so
-much life in his enemy, made frequent inquiries at the
-house, a fact of which Mr. Craik took note, setting it
-down to the young man’s credit. Nor did it escape the
-keen old man that his sister Totty’s expression grew less
-hopeful, as he himself grew better, and that her fits of
-spasmodic and effusive rejoicing over his recovery were
-succeeded by periods of abstraction during which she
-seemed to be gazing regretfully upon some slowly receding
-vision of happiness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>Mrs. Sherrington Trimm was indeed not to be envied.
-In the first place all immediate prospect of inheriting
-her brother’s fortune was removed by his unexpected
-convalescence; and, secondly, she had a suspicion that
-in the midst of his illness he had made some change in
-the disposition of his wealth. It would be hard to say
-how this belief had formed itself in her mind, for her
-husband was a man of honour and had scrupulously obeyed
-Craik’s injunction to be silent in regard to the will. He
-found this the more easy, because what he liked least in
-his wife’s character was her love of money. Having
-only one child, he deemed his own and Totty’s fortunes
-more than sufficient, and he feared lest if she were
-suddenly enriched beyond her neighbours, she might
-launch into the career of a leader of society and take up
-a position very far from agreeable to his own more
-modest tastes. Sherry Trimm was an eminently sensible
-as well as an eminently honourable man. He possessed
-a very keen sense of the ridiculous, and he knew how
-easily a woman like Totty could be made the subject of
-ridicule, if she had her own way, and if she suddenly
-were placed in circumstances where the question of
-expenditure need never be taken into consideration.
-She had rarely lost an opportunity of telling him what
-she should do if she were enormously rich, and it was
-not hard to see that she confidently expected to possess
-such riches as would enable her to carry out what Sherry
-called her threats.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>On the other hand Mr. Trimm’s sense of honour was
-satisfied by his brother-in-law’s new will. There is a
-great deal more of that sort of manly, honourable feeling
-among Americans than is dreamed of in European philosophy.
-Europe calls us a nation of business men, but
-it generally forgets that we are not a nation of shopkeepers,
-and that if we esteem a merchant as highly as
-a soldier or a lawyer it is because we know by experience
-that the hands which handle money can be kept as
-clean as those that draw the sword or hold the pen. In
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>strong races the man ennobles the occupation, the occupation
-does not degrade the man. If Thomas Craik was
-dishonest, Jonah Wood and Sherrington Trimm were
-both as upright gentlemen as any in the whole world.
-It was not in Jonah Wood’s power to recover what had
-been taken from him by operations that were only just
-within the pale of the law, because laws have not yet
-been made for such cases; nor was it Sherrington
-Trimm’s vocation to play upon Tom Craik’s conscience
-in the interests of semi-poetic justice. But Trimm was
-honourable enough and disinterested enough to rejoice
-at the prospect of seeing stolen money restored to its
-possessor instead of being emptied into his wife’s purse,
-and he was manly enough to have felt the same satisfaction
-in the act, if his own circumstances had been far
-less flourishing.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But Totty thought very differently of all these things.
-She had in her much of her brother’s nature, and the
-love of money, which being interpreted into American
-means essentially the love of what money can give,
-dominated her character, and poisoned the pleasant
-qualities with which she was undoubtedly endowed.
-She had, as a natural concomitant, the keenest instinct
-about money and the quarter from which it was to be
-expected. Something was wrong in her financial atmosphere,
-and she felt the diminution of pressure as quickly
-and as certainly as a good barometer indicates the
-approaching south wind when the weather is still clear
-and bright. It was of no use to question her husband,
-and she knew her brother well enough to be aware that
-he would conceal his purpose to the last. But there was
-an element of anxiety and doubt in her life which she
-had not known before. Tom Craik saw that much in
-her face and suspected that it was the result of his
-recovery. He did not regret what he had done and he
-made up his mind to abide by it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Meanwhile George Wood varied the dreariness of his
-hardworking life by seeing as much as possible of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>Fearings. He went to the house in Washington Square
-as often as he dared, and before long his visits had
-assumed a regularity which was noticeable, to say the
-least of it. If he had still felt any doubt as to what was
-passing in his own heart at the end of the first month,
-he felt none whatever as the spring advanced. He was
-in love with Constance, and he knew it. The young
-girl was aware of the fact also, as was her sister, who
-looked on with evident disapproval.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you not send the man away?” Grace asked,
-one evening when they were alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why should I?” inquired Constance, changing colour
-a little though her voice was quiet.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because you are flirting with him, and no good can
-come of it,” Grace answered bluntly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Flirting? I?” The elder girl raised her eyebrows
-in innocent surprise. The idea was evidently new to
-her, and by no means agreeable.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, flirting. What else can you call it, I would
-like to know? He comes to see you—oh yes, you cannot
-deny it. It is certainly not for me. He knows I
-am engaged, and besides, I think he knows that I do
-not like him. Very well—he comes to see you, then.
-You receive him, you smile, you talk, you take an interest
-in everything he does—I heard you giving him
-advice the other day. Is not that flirting? He is in
-love with you, or pretends to be, which is the same
-thing, and you encourage him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Pretends to be? Why should he pretend?” Constance
-asked the questions rather dreamily, as though she
-had put them to herself before and more than half knew
-the answer. Grace laughed a little.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because you are eminently worth while,” she replied.
-“Do you suppose that if you were as poor as he is, he
-would come so often?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is not very good-natured,” observed Constance,
-taking up her book again. There was very little surprise
-in her tone, however, and Grace was glad to note
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>the fact. Her sister was less simple than she had supposed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good nature!” she exclaimed. “What has good
-nature to do with it? Do you think Mr. Wood comes
-here out of good nature? He wants to marry you, my
-dear. He cannot, and therefore you ought to send him
-away.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If I loved him, I would marry him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But you do not. And, besides, the thing is absurd!
-A man with no position of any sort—none of any sort,
-I assure you—without fortune, and what is much worse,
-without any profession.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Literature is a profession.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, literature—yes. Of course it is. But those
-miserable little criticisms he writes are not literature.
-Why does he not write a book, or even join a newspaper
-and be a journalist?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps he will. I am always telling him that he
-should. And as for position, he is a gentleman, whether
-he chooses to go into society or not. His father was a
-New Englander, I believe—but I have heard poor papa
-say very nice things about him—and his mother was a
-Winton and a cousin of Mrs. Trimm’s. There is nothing
-better than that, I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—that odious Totty!” exclaimed Grace in a
-tone of unmeasured contempt. “She brought him here
-in the hope that one of us would take a fancy to him and
-help her poor relation out of his difficulties. Besides,
-she is the silliest, shallowest little woman I ever knew!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I daresay. I am not fond of her. But you are
-unjust to Mr. Wood. He is very talented, and he works
-very hard——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“At what? At those wretched little paragraphs? I
-could write a dozen of them in an hour!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I could not. One has to read the books first, you
-know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—say two hours, then. I am sure I could
-write a dozen in two hours. Such stuff, my dear! You
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span>are dazzled by his conversation. He does talk fairly
-well, when he pleases. I admit that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad you leave him something,” said Constance.
-“As for my marrying him, that is a very different
-matter. I have not the slightest idea of doing that.
-To be quite honest, the idea has crossed my mind that
-he might wish it——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And yet you let him come?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. I cannot tell him not to come here, and I like
-him too much to be unkind to him—to be cold and rude
-for the sake of sending him away. If he ever speaks of
-it, it will be time to tell him what I think. If he does
-not, it does him no harm—nor me either, as far as I
-can see.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know. It seems to me that to encourage a
-man and then drop him when he can hold his tongue no
-longer is the reverse of human kindness.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And it seems to me, my dear, that you are beginning
-to argue from another side of the question. I did not
-understand that it was out of consideration for Mr.
-Wood——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, it was not,” Grace admitted with a laugh. “I
-am cruel enough to wish that you would be unkind to
-him without waiting for him to offer himself. You are
-a very inscrutable person, Conny! I wish I could find
-out what you really think.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance made no answer, but smiled gently at her
-sister as she took up her book for the second time. She
-began to read as though she did not care to continue the
-conversation, and Grace made no effort to renew it. She
-understood enough of Constance’s character to be sure
-that she could never understand it thoroughly, and she
-relinquished the attempt to ascertain the real state of
-things. If Constance had vouchsafed any reply, she
-would have said that she was in considerable perplexity
-concerning her own thoughts. For the present, however,
-her doubts gave her very little trouble. She
-possessed one of those calm characters which never force
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>their owners to be in a hurry about a decision, and she
-was now, as always, quite willing to wait and see what
-course her inclinations would take.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Calmness of this sort is often the result of an inborn
-distrust of motives in oneself and in others, combined
-with an almost total absence of impatience. The idea
-that it is in general better to wait than to act, gets the
-upper hand of the whole nature and keeps it, perhaps
-throughout life, perhaps only until some strong and
-disturbing passion breaks down the fabric of indolent
-prejudice which surrounds such minds. Constance had
-thought of most of the points which her sister had
-brought up against George Wood, and was not at all
-surprised to hear Grace speak as she had spoken. On
-the contrary she felt a sort of mental pride in having
-herself discerned all the objections which stood in the
-way of her loving George. None of them had appeared
-to be insurmountable, because none of them were in
-reality quite just. She was willing to admit that her
-fortune might be what most attracted him, but she had
-no proof of the fact, and having doubted him, she was
-quite as much inclined to doubt her own judgment of
-him. His social position was not satisfactory, as Grace
-had said, but she had come to the conclusion that this
-was due to his distaste for society, especially since she
-had heard many persons of her acquaintance express
-their regret that the two Woods could not forget old
-scores. His literary performances were assuredly not of
-the first order, and she felt an odd sort of shame for
-him, when she thought of the poor little paragraphs he
-turned out in the papers, and compared the work with
-his conversation. But George had often explained to
-her that he was obliged to write his notices in a certain
-way, and that he occupied his spare time in producing
-matter of a very different description. In fact there
-were answers to every one of Grace’s objections and
-Constance had already framed for herself the replies
-she was prepared to give her sister.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>Her principal difficulty lay in another direction. Was
-the very decided liking she felt for George Wood the
-beginning of love, or was it not? That it was not love
-at the present time she was convinced, for her instinct
-told her truly that if she had loved him, she could not have
-discussed him so calmly. What she defined as her liking
-was, however, already so pronounced that she could
-see no objection to allowing it to turn into something
-warmer and stronger if it would, provided she were able
-to convince herself of George’s sincerity. Her fortune
-was certainly in the way. What man in such circumstances,
-she asked herself, could be indifferent to the
-prospect of such a luxurious independence as was hers
-to confer upon him she married? She wished that some
-concatenation of events might deprive her of her wealth
-for a time long enough to admit of her trying the great
-experiment, on condition that it might be restored to her
-so soon as the question was decided in one way or the
-other. Nevertheless she believed that if she really
-loved him, she could forget to doubt the simplicity of
-his affection.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George, on his part, was not less sensitive upon the
-same point. His hatred of all sordid considerations was
-such that he feared lest his intentions might be misinterpreted
-wherever there was a question of money. On
-the other hand, he was becoming aware that his intercourse
-with Constance Fearing could not continue much
-longer upon its present footing. There existed no pretext
-of relationship to justify the intimacy that had
-sprung out of his visits, and even in a society in which
-the greatest latitude is often allowed to young and marriageable
-women, his assiduity could not fail to attract
-attention. The fact that the two young girls had a
-companion in the person of an elderly lady distantly
-connected with them did not materially help matters.
-She was a faded, timid, retiring woman who was rarely
-seen, and who, indeed, took pains to keep herself out of
-the way when there were any visitors, fearing always to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>intrude where she might not be wanted. George had
-seen her once or twice but was convinced that she did
-not know him by sight. He knew, however, that his
-frequent visits had been the subject of remark among
-the young girls’ numerous acquaintance, for his cousin
-Totty had told him so with evident satisfaction, and he
-guessed from Grace’s behaviour, that she at least would
-be glad to see no more of him. What Grace had told
-her sister, however, was strictly true. Constance encouraged
-him. George was neither tactless nor fatuous,
-and if Constance had shown that his presence was distasteful
-to her, he would have kept away, and cured himself
-of his half-developed attachment as best he could.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>About this time an incident occurred which was destined
-to produce a very decided effect upon his life.
-One afternoon in May he was walking slowly down Fifth
-Avenue on his way to Washington Square when he suddenly
-found himself face to face with old Tom Craik,
-who was at that moment coming out of one of the clubs.
-The old man was not as erect as he had been before his
-illness, but he was much less broken down than George
-had supposed. His keen eyes still peered curiously into
-the face of every passer, and he still set down his stick
-with a sharp, determined rap at every step. Before
-George could avoid the meeting, as he would instinctively
-have done had there been time, he was conscious of
-being under his relation’s inquiring glance. He was not
-sure that the latter recognised him, but he knew that a
-recognition was possible. Under the circumstances he
-could not do less than greet his father’s enemy, who was
-doubtless aware of his many inquiries during the period
-of danger. George lifted his hat civilly and would have
-passed on, but the old gentleman stopped him, to his
-great surprise, and held out a thin hand, tightly encased
-in a straw-coloured glove—he permitted himself certain
-exaggerations of dress which somehow were not
-altogether incongruous in his case.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are George Wood?” he asked. George was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>struck by the disagreeable nature of his voice and at the
-same time by the speaker’s evident intention to make it
-sound pleasantly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, Mr. Craik,” the young man answered, still somewhat
-confused by the suddenness of the meeting.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad I have met you. It was kind of you to
-ask after me when I was down. I thank you. It showed
-a good heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Tom Craik was sincere, and George looked in vain for
-the trace of a sneer on the parchment that covered the
-worn features, and listened without detecting the least
-modulation of irony in the tones of the cracked voice.
-He felt a sharp sting of remorse in his heart. What he
-had meant for something very like an insult had been
-misunderstood, had been kindly received, and now he was
-to be thanked for it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hate you, and I asked because I wanted to be told
-that you were dead”—he could not say that, though
-the words were in his mind, and he could almost hear
-himself speaking them. A flush of shame rose to his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It seemed natural to inquire,” he said, after a moment’s
-hesitation. It had seemed very natural to him,
-as he remembered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did it? Well, I am glad it did, then. It would not
-have seemed so to every young man in your position.
-Good day—good day to you. Come and see me if you
-care to.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Again the thin gloved hand grasped his, and George
-was left alone on the pavement, listening to the sharp
-rap of the stick on the stones as the old man walked
-rapidly away. He stood still for a moment, and then
-went on down the Avenue. The dry regular rapping of
-that stick was peculiarly disagreeable and he seemed to
-hear it long after he was out of earshot.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was very much annoyed. More than that, he was
-sincerely distressed. Could he have guessed what had
-been the practical result of his inquiries during the illness,
-he would assuredly have even then turned and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>overtaken Tom Craik, and would have explained with
-savage frankness that he was no friend, but a bitter
-enemy who would have rejoiced to hear that death had
-followed and overtaken its victim. But since he could
-not dream of what had happened, it appeared to him that
-any explanation would be an act of perfectly gratuitous
-brutality. It was not likely that he should meet the old
-man often, and there would certainly be no necessity for
-any further exchange of civilities. He suffered all the
-more in his pride because he must henceforth accept the
-credit of having seemed kindly disposed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then he remembered how, at his second meeting with
-Constance Fearing, she had earnestly advised him not to
-do what had led to the present situation. It would have
-been different had he known her as he knew her now, had
-he loved her as he undoubtedly loved her to-day. But
-as things had been then, he hardly blamed himself for
-having been roused to opposition by his strong dislike of
-advice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have received the reward of my iniquities,” he said,
-as he sat down in his accustomed seat and looked at her
-delicate face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What has happened to you?” she asked, raising her
-eyes with evident interest.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Something very disagreeable. Do you like to hear
-confessions? And when you do, are you inclined to give
-absolution to your penitents?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is it! What do you want to tell me?” Her
-face expressed some uneasiness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you remember, when I first came here—the
-second time, I should say—when Tom Craik was in
-such a bad way, and I hoped he would die? You know, I
-told you I would go and leave a card with inquiries, and
-you advised me not to. I went—in fact, I called several
-times.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You never told me. Why should you? It was
-foolish of me, too. It was none of my business.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish I had taken your advice. The old man got
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>well again, but I have not seen him till to-day. Just
-now, as I walked here, he was coming out of his club,
-and I ran against him before I knew where I was. Do
-you know? He had taken my inquiries seriously.
-Thought I asked out of pure milk and water of human
-kindness, so to say—thanked me so nicely and asked
-me to go and see him! I felt like such a beast.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance laughed and for some reason or other the
-high, musical ring of her laughter did not give George
-as much satisfaction as usual.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What did you do?” she asked, a moment later.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hardly know. I could not tell him to his face that
-he had not appreciated my peculiar style of humour,
-that I loathed him as I loathe the plague, and that I
-had called to know whether the undertaker was in the
-house. I believe I said something civil—contemptibly
-civil, considering the circumstances—and he left me
-in front of the club feeling as if I had eaten something
-I did not like. I wish you had been there to get me out
-of the scrape with some more good advice!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I? Why should I——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because, after all, you got me into it, Miss Fearing,”
-George answered rather sadly. “So, perhaps, you would
-have known what to do this time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I got you into the scrape?” Constance looked as
-much distressed as though it were really all her fault.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, no—I am not in earnest, exactly. Only, I
-have such an abominably contrary nature that I went to
-Tom Craik’s door just because you advised me not to—that
-is all. I had only seen you twice then—and——”
-he stopped and looked fixedly at the young girl’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I knew I was wrong, even then,” Constance answered,
-with a faint blush. The colour was not the result of
-any present thought, nor of any suspicion of what
-George was about to say; it was due to her recollection
-of her conduct on that long remembered afternoon nearly
-four months earlier.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I ought to have known that you were right. If
-you were to give me advice now——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>“I would rather not,” interrupted the young girl.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would follow it, if you did,” said George, earnestly.
-“There is a great difference between that time and this.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is there?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. Do you not feel it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know you better than I did.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And I know you better—very much better.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad that makes you more ready to follow
-sensible advice——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Your advice, Miss Fearing. I did not mean——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mine, then, if you like it better. But I shall never
-offer you any more. I have offered you too much
-already, and I am sorry for it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would rather you gave me advice—than nothing,”
-said George in a lower voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What else should I give you?” Her voice had a
-ring of surprise in it. She seemed startled.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What you will never give, I am afraid—what I
-have little enough the right to ask.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance laid down the work she held, and looked
-out of the window. There was a strange expression in
-her face, as though she were wavering between fear and
-satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Wood,” she said suddenly, “you are making love
-to me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know I am. I mean to,” he answered, with an odd
-roughness, as the light flashed into his eyes. Then, all
-at once, his voice softened wonderfully. “I do it badly—forgive
-me—I never did it before. I should not be
-doing it now, if I could help myself—but I cannot.
-This once—this once only—Constance, I love you with
-all my heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was timid, and women, whether old or young, do
-not like timidity. It was not that he lacked either
-force or courage by nature, nor any of those qualities
-whereby women are won. But the life he had led had
-kept him younger than he believed himself to be, and
-his solitary existence had given his ideal of Constance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span>the opportunity of developing more quickly than the
-reality. He loved her, it is true, but as yet in a peaceful,
-unruffled way, which partook more of boundless
-admiration than of passion. An older man would have
-recognised the difference in himself. The girl’s finer
-perceptions were aware of it without comprehending it
-in the least. Nevertheless it was an immense satisfaction
-to George to speak out the words which in his heart
-had so long been written as a motto about the shrine of
-his imagination.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance said nothing in answer, but rose, after a
-moment’s pause, and went and stood before the fireplace,
-now filled with ferns and plants, for the weather was
-already warm. She turned her back upon George and
-seemed to be looking at the things that stood on the
-chimney-piece. George rose, too, and came and stood
-beside her, trying to see her face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you angry?” he asked softly. “Have I offended
-you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, I am not angry,” she answered. “But—but—was
-there any use in saying it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not love me at all? You do not care whether
-I come or go?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She pitied him, for his disappointment was genuine,
-and she knew that he suffered something, though it
-might not be very much.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know what love is,” she said thoughtfully.
-“Yes—I care. I like to see you—I am interested in
-what you do—I should be sorry never to see you again—but
-I do not feel—what is it one should feel, when
-one loves?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is there any one—any man—whom you like better
-than you like me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” she answered with some hesitation, “I do not
-think there is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And there is a chance that you may like me better
-still—that you may some day even love me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps. I cannot tell. I have not known you very
-long.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>“It seems long to me—but you give me all I ask,
-more than I had a right to hope for. I thank you,
-with all my heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is little to thank me for. Do you think I
-mean more than I say?” She turned her head and
-looked calmly into his eyes. “Do you think I am
-promising anything?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would like to think so. But what could you promise
-me? You would not marry me, even if you loved me
-as I love you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are wrong. If I loved you, I would marry you—if
-I were sure that your love was real, too. But it is
-not. I am sure it is not. You make yourself think you
-love me——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The young man’s dark face seemed to grow darker
-still as she watched it. There was passion in it now,
-but of a kind other than loving. His over sensitive
-nature had already taken offence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Please do not go on, Miss Fearing,” he said, in a low
-voice that trembled angrily. “You have said enough
-already.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance drew back in extreme surprise, and looked
-as though she had misunderstood him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why—what have I said?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You know what you meant. You are cruel and
-unjust.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was a short pause, during which Constance
-seemed to be trying to grasp the situation, while George
-stood at the other end of the chimney-piece, staring at
-the pattern in the carpet. The girl’s first impulse was
-to leave the room, for his anger frightened and repelled
-her. But she was too sensible for that, and she thought
-she knew him too well to let such a scene pass without
-an explanation. She gathered all her courage and faced
-him again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Wood,” she said with a firmness he had never
-seen in her, “I give you my word that I meant nothing
-in the least unkind. It is you who are doing me an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>injustice. I have a right to know what you understood
-from my words.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What could you have meant?” he asked coldly.
-“You are, I believe, very rich. Every one knows that
-I am very poor. You say that I make myself think I
-love you——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good heavens!” cried Constance. “You do not
-mean to say that you thought that! But I never said
-it, I never meant it—I would not think it——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was a little exaggeration in the last words. She
-had thought of it, and that recently, though not when
-she had spoken. It was enough, however. George
-believed her, and the cloud disappeared from his face.
-It was she who took his hand first, and the grasp was
-almost affectionate in its warmth.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You will never think that of me?” he asked earnestly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Never—forgive me if any word of mine could have
-seemed to mean that I did.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you,” he answered. “It is only my own
-folly, of course, and I am the one to be forgiven.
-Things may be different some day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” assented Constance with a little hesitation,
-“some day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A moment later George left the house, feeling as a
-soldier does who has been under fire for the first time.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER VII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Not long after the events last chronicled, the Fearings
-left New York for the summer, and George was left to
-his own meditations, to the society of his father and to
-the stifling heat of the great city. He had seen Constance
-again more than once before she and her sister
-had left town, and he had parted from her on the best
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>of terms. To tell the truth, since his sudden exhibition
-of violent temper, she had liked him even better than
-before. His genuine anger had to some extent dissipated
-the cloud of doubt which always seemed to her to
-hang about his motives. The doubt itself was not gone,
-for as it had a permanent cause in her own fortune it was
-of the sort not easily driven away.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As for George himself, he considered himself engaged,
-of course in a highly conditional way, to marry Miss
-Constance Fearing. She had repeated, at his urgent
-solicitation, what she had said when he had first declared
-himself, to wit, that if she ever loved him she would
-marry him, and that there was no one whom she at
-present preferred to him. More than this, he could not
-obtain from her, and in his calm moments, which were
-still numerous, he admitted that she was perfectly fair
-and just in her answer. He, on his part, had declared
-with great emphasis that, however she might love him,
-he would not marry her until he was independent of all
-financial difficulties, and had made himself a name. On
-the whole, nothing could have seemed more improbable
-than that the marriage could ever take place. The
-distance between writing second-rate reviews at ten
-dollars a column, and being one of the few successful
-writers of the day is really almost as great as it looks to
-the merest outsider. Moreover, a friendship of several
-months’ standing is generally speaking a bad foundation
-on which to build hopes of love. The very intimacy of
-intercourse forbids those surprises in which love chiefly
-delights. Friendly hands have taken the bandage from
-his eyes, and he has learned to see his way about with
-remarkable acuteness of perception.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Perhaps the most immediate and perceptible effect of
-the last few interviews with Constance was to be found
-in the work he turned out, and in the dissatisfaction it
-caused in quarters where it had formerly been considered
-excellent. It was beginning to be too good to serve its
-end, for the writer was beginning to feel that he could
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>no longer efface his individuality and repress his own
-opinions as he had formerly done. He exceeded in his
-articles the prescribed length, he made vicious Latin quotations,
-and concocted savagely epigrammatic sentences,
-he inserted sharp remarks about prominent writers,
-where they were manifestly beside the purpose, besides
-being palpably unjust, there was a sting in almost every
-paragraph which did not contain a paradox, and, altogether,
-he made the literary editors who employed him
-very nervous.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It won’t do, Mr. Wood,” one of them said. “The
-publishers don’t like it. Several have written to me.
-The paper can’t stand this kind of thing. I suppose the
-fact is that you are getting too good for this work. Take
-my advice. Either go back to your old style, or write
-articles over your own name for the magazines. They
-like quotations and snap and fine writing—authors and
-publishers don’t, not a bit.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have tried articles again and again,” George answered.
-“I cannot get them printed anywhere.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—you just go ahead and try again. You’ll get
-on if you stick to it. If you think you can write some
-of your old kind of notices, here’s a lot of books ready.
-But seriously, Mr. Wood, if you write any more like the
-last dozen or so, I can’t take them. I’m sorry, but I
-really can’t.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I’ll have one more shot,” said George, desperately, as
-he took up the books. He could not afford to lose the
-wretched pay he got for the work.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He soon saw that other managers of literary departments
-thought very much as this first specimen did.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A little more moderation, Mr. Wood,” said a second,
-who was an elderly æsthetic personage. “I hate violence
-in all its forms. It is so fatiguing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well,” said George submissively.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He went to another, the only one whom he knew rather
-intimately, a pale, hardworking, energetic young fellow,
-who had got all manner of distinctions at English and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>German universities, who had a real critical talent, and
-who had risen quickly to his present position by his
-innate superiority over all competitors in his own line.
-George liked him and admired him. His pay was not
-brilliant, for he was not on one of the largest papers, but
-he managed to support his mother and two young sisters
-on his earnings.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Look here, Wood,” he said one morning, “this is not
-the way criticism is done. You are not a critic by
-nature. Some people are. I believe I am, and I always
-meant to be one. You do this sort of thing just as you
-would do any writing that did not interest you, and you
-do it fairly well, because you have had a good education,
-and you know a lot of things that ordinary people do not
-know. But it is not your strong point, and I do not
-believe it ever will be. Try something else. Write
-an article.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is what everybody tells me to do,” George answered.
-He was disappointed, for he believed that what
-he did was really good, and he had expected that the man
-with whom he was now speaking would have been the
-one of all others to appreciate his work. “That is what
-they all tell me,” he continued, “but they do not tell me
-how to get my articles accepted. Have you a recipe for
-that, Johnson?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The pale young man did not answer at once. He was
-extremely conscientious, which was one reason why he
-was a good critic.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I cannot promise much,” he said at last. “But I
-will tell you what I will do for you. If you will write
-an article, or a short story—say five to eight thousand
-words—I will read it and give you my honest opinion.
-If I like it, I’ll push it, and it may get into print. If I
-don’t, I’ll tell you so, and I’ll do nothing. You will
-have to try again. But I am convinced that you are
-naturally an author and not a critic.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you,” said George gratefully. He knew what
-the promise meant, from such a man as Johnson, who
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>would have to sacrifice his time to the reading of the
-manuscript, and whose opinion was worth having.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can you give me any work this week?” he asked,
-before he took his leave.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Johnson looked at him quietly, as though making up
-his mind what to say.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would rather not. You do not do it as well as you
-did, and I am responsible. If there is anything else I
-could do for you——” He stopped.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you will be so kind as to read my article——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, of course. I said I would. I mean——”
-Johnson looked away, and his pale face blushed to the
-roots of his hair. “I mean—if you should need twenty
-dollars while the article is being written, I can——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George felt a very peculiar emotion, and his voice was
-a little thick, as he took the other’s hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you, Johnson, but I don’t need it. You are
-awfully kind, though. Nobody ever did as much for me
-before.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When he left the room, the nervous flush had not yet
-disappeared from the literary editor’s forehead, nor had
-the odd sensation quite subsided from George’s own
-throat. If Tom Craik had offered him the loan of twenty
-dollars, he would have turned his back on him with a
-bitter answer. It was a very different matter when poor,
-overworked Johnson put his hand in his pocket and
-proffered all he could spare. For a minute George forgot
-all his disappointments and troubles in the gratitude
-he felt to the pale young man. Nor did he ever lose
-remembrance of the kindly generosity that had prompted
-the offer.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But as he walked slowly homewards the bitterness of
-his heart began to show itself in another direction. He
-thought of the repeated admonitions and parcels of advice
-which had been thrust upon him during the last few
-days, he thought of his poverty, of his failures, and he
-compared all these facts with his aspirations. He, a
-poor devil who seemed to be losing the power to earn
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>a miserable ten dollars with his pen, he, whose carefully
-prepared articles had been rejected again and again, often
-without a word of explanation, he, the unsuccessful scribbler
-of second-rate notices, had aspired, and did still
-aspire, not only to marry Constance Fearing, but to earn
-for himself such a position as should make him independent
-of her fortune, so far as money was concerned,
-and which, in the direction of personal reputation, should
-place him in the first rank in his own country. Wonderful
-things happened, sometimes, in the world of letters;
-but, so far as he knew, they needed a considerable
-time for their accomplishment. He was well advanced
-in his twenty-sixth year already, and it was madness to
-hope to achieve fame in less than ten years at the least.
-In ten years, Constance would be two and thirty. He
-had not thought of that before, and the idea filled him
-with dismay. It seemed a great age, an absurd age for
-marriage. And, after all, there was not the slightest
-probability of her waiting for him. In the first place,
-she did not love him, or, at least, she said that she did
-not, and if her affection was not strong enough to declare
-itself, it could hardly be taken into consideration as an
-element in the great problem. The whole thing was
-ridiculous, and he would give up the idea—if he could.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But he could not. He recognised that the thought of
-Constance was the bright spot in his life, and that without
-her image he should lose half his energy. In the
-beginning, there had been a sort of complacent acquiescence
-in the growth of his love, which made it seem as
-though he had voluntarily set up an idol of his own
-choosing, which he could change at will. But the idol
-had begun to feed on his heart, and was already exerting
-its mysterious, dominating influence over his actions and
-beliefs. He began to concoct a philosophy of self-deception,
-in the hope of obtaining a good result. It seemed
-certain that he could never marry Constance—certain,
-at all events, while this mood lasted—but he could still
-dream of her and look forward to his union with her.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>The great day would come, of course, when she would
-marry some one else, and when he should doubtless be
-buried in the ruin of his dreams, but until then he would
-sustain the illusion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And what an illusion it was! The magnitude of it
-appalled him. Penniless, almost; dependent for his
-bread upon his ruined father; baffled at every turn;
-taught by experience that he had none of the power he
-seemed to feel—that was the list of his advantages, to
-be set in the balance against those possessed by Constance
-Fearing. George laughed bitterly to himself as he pursued
-his way through the crowded streets. It struck
-him that he must be a singularly unlucky man, and he
-wondered how men felt upon whom fortune smiled perpetually,
-who had never known what it meant to work
-hard to earn a dollar, to whom money seemed as common
-and necessary an element as air. He remembered indeed
-the time when, as a boy, he had known luxury, and existed
-in unbroken comfort, and the memory added a bitterness
-to his present case. Nevertheless he was not downhearted.
-Black as the world looked, he could look
-blacker, he fancied, and make the cheeks of fortune
-smart with the empty purse she had tossed in his face.
-His walk quickened, and his fingers itched for the pen.
-He was one of those men who harden and grow savage
-under defeat, reserving such luxuries as despondency for
-the hours of success.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Without the slightest hesitation, he set to work. He
-scarcely knew how it was that he determined to write an
-article upon critics and criticism; but when he sat down
-to his table the idea was already present, and phrases of
-direful import were seething in the fire of his brain.
-All at once he realised how he hated the work he had
-been doing, how he loathed himself for doing it, how he
-detested those who had doled out to him his daily portion.
-What a royal satisfaction it was to “sling ink,”
-as the reporters called it! To heap his full-stocked
-thesaurus of abuse upon somebody and something, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>most especially upon himself, in his capacity as one of
-the critics! To devote the whole profession to the perdition
-of an everlasting contempt, to hold it up as a
-target for the public wrath, to spit upon it, to stamp
-upon it, to tear it to rags, and to scatter the tatters
-abroad upon the tempest of his reprobation! The phrases
-ran like wildfire along the paper, as he warmed to his
-work, and dragged old-fashioned anathemas from the
-closets of his memory to swell the hailstorm of epithets
-that had fallen first. Anathema Maranatha! Damn
-criticism! Damn the critics! Damn everything!</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was a very remarkable piece of work when it was
-finished, more remarkable in some ways than anything
-he ever produced afterwards, and if he had taken it to
-Johnson in its original form, the pale young man’s future
-career might have been endangered by a fit of sudden
-and immoderate mirth. Fortunately, George already
-knew the adage—is it not Hood’s?—which says “it is
-the print that tells the tale.” He was well aware that
-writing ink is to printers’ ink as a pencil drawing to a
-painted canvas, and that what looks mild and almost
-gentle when it appears in an irregular handwriting upon
-a sheet of foolscap can seem startlingly forcible when
-impressed upon perfectly new and very expensive paper,
-in perfectly new and very expensive type. He read the
-article over.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps it is a little strong,” he said to himself,
-with a grim smile, as he reviewed what he had written.
-“I feel a little like Wellington revisiting Waterloo!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Indeed, from the style of the discourse, one might
-have supposed that George had published a dozen volumes
-simultaneously, and that every critic in the civilised
-world had sprung up and rent him with one accord.
-“English Bards and Scotch Reviewers” was but milk and
-water, with very little milk, compared with his onslaught.
-The dead lay in heaps, as it were, in the track of his
-destroying charge, and he had hanged, drawn and quartered
-himself several times for his own satisfaction,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>gibbeting the quarters on every page. In his fury and
-unquenchable thirst for vengeance, he had quoted whole
-passages from notices he had written, only to tear them
-to pieces and make bonfires of their remains.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think I had better wait a day or two,” he remarked,
-as he folded up the manuscript and put it into a drawer
-of his table.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It is characteristic of the profession and its necessities,
-that, after having crushed and dismembered all critics,
-past, present and to come, in the most complete and
-satisfactory manner, George Wood laid his hand upon
-the new volumes which he had last brought home and
-proceeded during several days with the task of reviewing
-them. Moreover, he did the work much better than
-usual, taking an odd delight in affecting the attitude of
-a gentle taster, and in using the very language he most
-despised, just for the sake of persuading himself that he
-was right in despising it. The two editors who had
-given him work to do that week were surprised to find
-that he had returned with such success to his former
-style of writing. They were still further surprised when
-an article entitled “Cheap Criticism” appeared, about
-six weeks later, in a well known magazine, signed with
-his name in full. They did not like it all.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George had recast the paper more than once, and at
-last, when he had regretfully “rinsed all the starch out
-of it,” as he said to himself, he had taken it to Johnson.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did not know that any modern human being could
-use such violent language without swearing,” said the
-pale young man, catching a phrase here and there as he
-ran his eye over the manuscript.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you call that violent?” asked George, delighted
-to find that he had left his work more forcible than he
-had supposed. “I wish you could have seen the first
-copy! This looked like prayer and meditation compared
-with it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you pray in that style,” remarked Johnson, “your
-prayers will be at least heard, if they are not answered.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span>They will attract attention in some quarter, though perhaps
-not in the right one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George’s face fell.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you think it is too red-hot?” he asked. “I have
-been spreading butter on the public nose so long,” he
-added, almost apologetically.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oleomargarine,” suggested Johnson. “It is rather
-warm. That phrase—‘revelling in the contempt of
-appearing contemptible’—I say, Wood, that is not
-English, you know, and it’s a scorcher, too.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not English!” exclaimed George, whose blood was
-up at once. “Why not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because it is Volapück, or Malay—or something
-else, I don’t know what it is, though I admit its force.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not see how I can put it, then. It is just what
-we all feel.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Look here. You do not mean that your victim
-despises himself for appearing to be despicable, do you?
-He does, I dare say, but you wanted to hit him, not to
-show that he is still capable of human feeling. I think
-you meant to say that he rejoiced in his own indifference
-to contempt.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I believe I did,” said George, relinquishing the contest
-as soon as he saw he was wrong. “But ‘revel’ is
-not bad. Let that stand, at least.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You cannot revel in indifference, can you?” asked
-Johnson pitilessly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. That is true. But it was English, all the same,
-though it did not mean what I intended.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think not. You would not say an author appears
-green, would you? You would say he appears to be
-green. Then why say that a critic appears contemptible?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are always right, Johnson,” George answered
-with a good-natured laugh. “I should have seen the
-mistake in the proof.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But that is the most expensive way of seeing mistakes.
-I will read this carefully, and I will send you
-word to-morrow what I think of it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>“What makes you so quick at these things?” asked
-George, as he rose to go.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Habit. I read manuscript novels for a publishing
-house here. I do it in the evening, when I can find
-time. Yes—it is hard work, but it is interesting. I
-am both prophet and historian. The book is the reality
-which I see alternately from the point of view of the
-future and the past.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The result was that Johnson, who possessed much
-more real power than George had imagined, wrote a
-note, with which the manuscript was sent, and to
-George’s amazement the paper was at once accepted and
-put into type, and the proofs were sent to him. Moreover
-the number of the magazine in which his composition
-appeared was no sooner published than he received a
-cheque, of which the amount at once demonstrated the
-practical advantages of original writing as compared
-with those of second-rate criticism.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>With regard to the attention attracted by his article,
-however, George was bitterly disappointed. He was on
-the alert for the daily papers in which an account of
-the contents of the periodicals is generally given, and
-he expected at least a paragraph from each.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In the first one he took up, after an elaborate notice
-of articles by known persons, he found the following
-line:—</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. George Winton Wood airs his views upon criticism
-in the present number.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>That was all. There was not a remark, nor a hint at
-the contents of his paper, nothing to break the icy irony
-of the statement. He pondered long over the words, and
-then crammed the open sheet into the waste-paper basket.
-This was the first. There might be better in store for
-him. On the evening of the same day he found another.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“An unknown writer has an article upon criticism,”
-said the oracle, without further comment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>This was, if possible, worse. George felt inclined to
-write to the editor and request that his name might be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>mentioned. It was a peculiarly hard case, as he had
-reviewed books for this very paper during the last two
-years, and was well known in the office. The third
-remark was in one of those ghastly-spritely medleys
-written under the heading of “Chit-Chat.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“By the way,” inquired the reviewer, “who is Mr.
-George Winton Wood? And why is he so angry with
-the critics? And does anybody mind? And who is he,
-any way?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Half a dozen similar observations had the effect of
-cooling George’s hopes of fame very considerably. They
-probably did him good by eradicating a great deal of
-nonsense from his dreams. He had before imagined
-that in labouring at his book notices he had seen and
-known the dreariest apartment in the literary workhouse,
-forgetting that all he wrote appeared anonymously and
-that he himself was shielded behind the ægis of a prosperous
-newspaper’s name. He had not known that a
-beginner is generally received, to use a French simile,
-like a dog in a game of ninepins, with kicks and execrations,
-unless he is treated with the cold indifference
-which is harder to bear than any attack could be. And
-yet, cruel as the method seems, it is the best one in most
-cases, and saves the sufferer from far greater torments
-in the future. What would happen if every beginner in
-literature were received at the threshold with cakes and
-ale, and were welcomed by a chorus of approving and
-encouraging critics? The nine hundred out of every
-thousand who try the profession and fail, would fail
-almost as certainly a little later in their lives, and with
-infinitely greater damage to their sensibilities. Moreover
-the cakes and ale would have been unworthily
-wasted, and the chorus of critics would have been necessarily
-largely leavened with skilful liars, which, it is to
-be hoped and believed, is not the case in the present
-condition of criticism, in spite of George Wood and his
-opinions. Is it better that boys should be allowed to
-remain in school two or three years without being examined,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>and that the ignorant ones should then be put to
-shame before their comrades? Or is it better that the
-half-witted should be excluded from the first, and separately
-taught? The question answers itself. We who,
-rightly or wrongly, have fought our way into public
-notice, have all, at one time or another, been made to
-run the gauntlet of abuse, or to swim the dead sea of
-indifference. The public knows little of our lives. It
-remembers the first book of which everybody talked and
-which, it foolishly supposed, represented our first
-experiment in print. It knows nothing of the many
-years of thankless labour in the columns of the daily
-press, it has never heard of our first paper in a magazine,
-nor of our pride at seeing our signature in a periodical
-of some repute, nor of the sovereign contempt
-with which the article and the name were received. The
-comfortable public has never dreamed of the wretched
-prices most of us received when we entered the ranks,
-and, to be honest, there is no reason why it should. It
-would be quite as sensible to found a society for the
-purpose of condoling with school-boys during their examinations,
-as to excite the public sympathy on behalf of
-what one may call undergraduate authors. The weeding
-at the beginning keeps the garden clean and gay—and
-amputations must be performed in good time, if the
-gangrene is to be arrested effectually.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood, as has been said before, was not of the
-kind to be despondent, though he was easily roused to
-anger. The porcupine is an animal known to literature,
-as well as a beast of the field, and the quills of the
-literary porcupine can be very easily made to stand on
-end. George was one of the species and, on the whole,
-a very favourable specimen. Fortunately for those who
-had accorded so little appreciation to his early efforts,
-he was at that time imprisoned in the enclosure appropriated
-to unknown persons. He bristled unseen and
-wasted his wrath on the desert air. He had looked
-forward to the publication of his first article, as to an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>emancipation from slavery, whereas he soon discovered
-that he had only been advanced to a higher rank in
-servitude. That is what most men find out when they
-have looked forward to emancipation of any kind, and
-wake up to find that instead of being chained to one side
-of the wall, they are chained to the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George supposed that it would now be an easier matter
-to get some of his former work into print. He had four
-or five things in very tolerable shape, resting in a
-drawer where he had put them when last rejected. He
-got them out again, and again began to send them to
-periodicals, without consulting his friend Johnson. To
-his surprise, they were all returned without comment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Go and ask for a job,” said Johnson, the omniscient,
-when he heard of the failure. “Suggestion on the part
-of the editor is the better part of valour in the writer.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What do you mean?” asked George. He had supposed
-that there was nothing he did not know in this
-connection.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“They won’t take articles on general subjects without
-a deal of interest and urging,” answered the other.
-“Get introduced to them in person. I will do it with
-most of them. Then go to them and say, ‘I am a very
-remarkable young man, though you do not seem to know
-it. I will write anything about anything in the earth
-or under the earth. Sanskrit, botany and the differential
-calculus are my especially strong points, but the North
-Pole has great attractions for me, I am strong in theology
-and political economy, and, if anything, I would
-rather spend a year in writing up the Fiji Islands than
-not. If you have nothing in this line, there is music
-and high art, in which I am sound, I have a taste for
-architecture and I understand practical lobster-fishing.
-Have you anything for me to do?’ That is the way
-to talk to these men,” Johnson added with a smile.
-“Try it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George laughed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But that is not literature,” he objected.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>“Not literature? Everything that can be written
-about is literature, just as everything that can be eaten
-is man—in another form. You can learn as much English
-in writing up lobster-fishing, as in trying to compose
-a five-act tragedy, and you will be paid for it into the
-bargain. Besides, if you are ever going to write anything
-worth reading, you must see more and think less.
-Don’t read books for a while; read things and people.
-Thinking too much, without seeing, is like eating too
-much—it makes your writing bilious.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This is the critic’s recipe for acquiring fame in letters!”
-exclaimed George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Fame in letters is a sort of stuffed bugbear. You
-can frighten children with it, but it belongs to the days
-of witches and hobgoblins. The object of literature nowadays
-is to amuse without doing harm. If you do that
-well you will be famous and rich.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are utterly cynical to-day, Johnson. Are you
-in earnest in what you advise me to do?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perfectly. Try everything. Offer your services to
-write anything. Among all the magazines and weeklies
-there is sure to be one that is in difficulties because it
-cannot get some particular article written. Don’t be too
-quick to say you understand the subject, if you don’t.
-Say you will try it. A man may get up almost any subject
-in six weeks, and it is a good thing for the mind,
-once in a long time. Try everything, I say. Make a
-stir. Let these people see you—make them see you, if
-they don’t want to. It is not time lost. You can use
-them all in your books some day. There is an age when it
-is better to wear out shoe-leather than pens—when the
-sweat of the brow is worth a dozen bottles of ink. Don’t
-sit over your desk yelping your discontent, while your
-real brain is rusting. Confound it all! It is the will
-that does it, the stir, the energy, the beating at other
-people’s doors, grinding up their stairs, making them
-feel that they must not lose the chance of using a man
-who can do so much, making them ashamed to send you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>away. Do you think I got to be where I am without a
-rough and tumble fight at the first? Take everything
-that comes into your way, do it as well as you know how,
-with all your might, and keep up a constant howl for
-more. They will respect you in spite of themselves.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The pale young man’s steel-blue eyes flashed, the
-purple veins stood out on his white clenched hands and
-there was a smile of triumph in his face and a ring of
-victory in his voice. He had fought them all and had
-got what he wanted, by talent, by industry, but above all
-by his restless and untiring energy, and he was proud
-of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To George Wood, in his poverty, it seemed very little,
-after all, to be the literary editor of a daily paper. That
-was not the position he must win, if he would marry
-Constance Fearing.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER VIII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>The summer passed quickly away without bringing
-any new element into George’s life. He did not reject
-Johnson’s advice, but he did not follow it to the letter.
-His instinct was against the method suggested by his
-friend, and he felt that he had not the assurance to follow
-it out. He was too sensitive and proud to employ
-his courage in besieging persons who did not want him.
-Nevertheless he found work to do, and his position was
-improved, though his writings still failed to attract any
-attention. He had imagined that there was but a step
-from the composition of magazine articles to the making
-of a book, but he soon discovered the fallacy of the idea,
-and almost regretted the old days of “book-tasting.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Meanwhile, his thoughts dwelt much on Constance,
-and he adorned the temple of his idol with everything
-upon which, figuratively speaking, he could lay his
-hands. Strange to say, her absence during the summer
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>was a relief to him. It made the weakness of his position
-and the futility of his hopes seem less apparent, and
-it gave him time to make at least a step in the direction
-of success. He wrote to her, as often as he dared, and
-twice in the course of the summer she answered with
-short letters that had in his eyes a suspicious savour of
-kindness rather than of anything even distantly approaching
-to affection. Nevertheless those were great
-days in his calendar on which these missives came. The
-notes were read over every morning and evening until
-Constance returned, and were put in a place of safety
-during the day and night.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked forward with the greatest anxiety to
-Miss Fearing’s return. He had long felt that her sister’s
-antagonism was one of the numerous and apparently insurmountable
-obstacles that barred his path, and he
-dreaded lest Grace’s influence should, in the course of
-the long summer, so work upon Constance’s mind as to
-break the slender thread that bound her to him. As
-regards Grace’s intention he was by no means wrong.
-She lost no opportunity of explaining to Constance that
-her friendship for George Wood was little short of ridiculous,
-that the man knew he had no future and was in
-pursuit of nothing but money, that his writings showed
-that he belonged to the poorest class of amateurs, that
-men who were to succeed were always heard of from boyhood,
-at school, at college and in their first efforts and
-that Constance was allowing her good nature to get the
-better of her common-sense in encouraging such a fellow.
-In short there was very little that Grace left unsaid. But
-though George had foreseen all this, as Grace, on her
-part, had determined beforehand upon her course of
-action during the summer, neither Grace nor George had
-understood the effect that such talk would produce upon
-her whom it was meant to influence. There was in Constance’s
-apparently gentle nature an element of quiet
-resistance which, in reality, it was not hard to rouse.
-Like many very good and very conscientious people, she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>detested advice and abominated interference, even on the
-part of those she loved best. Her attachment for her
-sister was sincere in its way, though not very strong,
-and it did not extend to a blind respect for Grace’s opinions.
-Grace could be wrong, like other people, and Grace
-was hasty and hot-tempered, prejudiced and not free
-from a certain sort of false pride. These were assuredly
-not the defects of Constance’s character, at least in her
-own opinion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her opposition was aroused and she began to show it.
-Indeed, her two letters to George were both written immediately
-after conversations had taken place in which
-Grace had spoken of him with more than usual bitterness.
-She felt as though she owed him some reparation
-for the ill-treatment he got at her sister’s hands, and this
-accounted in part for the flavour of kindness which
-George detected in her words. The situation was further
-strained by the arrival of one of the periodicals which
-contained an article by him. The sisters both read it,
-and Constance was pleased with it. In an indirect way,
-too, she felt flattered, for it looked as though George
-were beginning to follow her advice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is trash,” said Grace authoritatively, as she threw
-the magazine aside.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance allowed a full minute to elapse before she
-answered, during which she seemed to be intently watching
-the sail of a boat that was slowly working its way up
-the river. The two girls had paused between one visit
-and another to rest themselves in a place they owned
-upon the Hudson. The weather was intensely hot, and
-it was towards evening.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not trash,” said Constance quietly. “You are
-quite mistaken. You are completely blinded by your
-prejudice.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace was very much surprised, for it was unlike Constance
-to turn upon her in such a way.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think it is trash for two reasons,” she said, with a
-short laugh. “First, because my judgment tells me it
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span>is, and secondly because I know that George Wood could
-not possibly write anything else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You can hardly deny that you are prejudiced after
-that speech. Do you know what you will do, if you go
-on in this way? You will make me fall in love with
-Mr. Wood and marry him, out of sheer contrariety.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh no!” laughed Grace. “You would not marry
-him. At the last minute you would throw him over,
-and then he would bring an action against you for breach
-of promise with a view to the damages.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance suddenly grew very pale. She turned from
-the window where she was standing, crossed the small
-room and stood still before her sister.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you mean that?” she asked very coldly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace was frightened, for the first time in her life,
-but she did her best to hide it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What difference does it make to you, whether I mean
-it or not?” she inquired with a rather scornful smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This difference—that if you think such things, you
-and I may as well part company before we quarrel any
-further.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Ah—you love him, then? I did not know.” Grace
-laughed nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not love him, but if I did I should not be
-ashamed to say so to you or to the whole world. But I
-like him very, very much, and I will not hear him talked
-of as you talk of him. Do you understand?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perfectly. Nothing could be clearer,” said Grace
-with a contemptuous curl of the lip.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then I hope you will remember,” Constance answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace did remember. Indeed, for some time she
-could think of nothing else. It seemed clear enough to
-her that something more than friendship was needed to
-account for the emotion she had seen in her sister’s face.
-It was the first time in her recollection, too, that Constance
-had ever been really angry, and Grace was not
-inclined to rouse her anger a second time. She changed
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>her tactics and ignored George Wood altogether, never
-mentioning him nor reading anything that he sent to
-Constance. But this mode of treating the question
-proved unsatisfactory, for it was clear that Wood wrote
-often, and there was nothing to prove that Constance
-did not answer all his letters. Fortunately the two
-sisters were rarely alone together during the rest of the
-summer, and their opportunities of disagreeing were not
-numerous. They were not in reality as fond of each other
-as the world thought, or as they appeared to be. Their
-natures were too different, and at the same time the
-difference was not of that kind in which each character
-seems to fill a want in the other. On the contrary the
-points in which they were unlike were precisely those
-which most irritated the other’s sensibilities. They had
-never before quarrelled nor been so near to a quarrel as
-they were in the course of the conversation just recorded,
-but they were in reality very far from being harmonious.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The devoted affection of their mother had kept them
-together while she had lived, and, to some extent, had
-survived her, the memory of her still exercising a
-strong influence over both. Constance, too, was naturally
-very pacific, and rarely resented anything Grace
-said, in jest or in earnest. Grace was often annoyed by
-what she called her sister’s sweetness, and it was that
-very quality which prevented the other from retaliating.
-She had now shown that she could turn, and fiercely, if
-once aroused, and Grace respected her the more for having
-shown that she had a temper.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Enough has been said to show that George’s fear that
-Constance would think less well of him through Grace’s
-influence, was without foundation. She even went so
-far as to send for him as soon as she returned to New
-York in the autumn. It was a strange meeting, for
-there was constraint on both sides, and at the same time
-each felt the necessity of showing the other that no
-change had taken place for the worse in their mutual
-relations.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_109'>109</span>Constance was surprised to find how very favourably
-George Wood compared with the men she had seen during
-the summer—men all more or less alike in her eyes,
-but nevertheless representing in her imagination the
-general type of what the gentleman is supposed to be,
-the type of the man of her own class, the mate of her
-own species. Grace had talked so much, in the early
-part of the season, of George’s inferior social position,
-of his awkward manner, and, generally, of his defects,
-that Constance had almost feared to find that she had
-been deceived at first and that there was a little truth
-in her sister’s words. One glance, one phrase of his,
-sufficed to set her mind at rest. He might have peculiarities,
-but they were not apparent in his way of dressing,
-of entering a room or of pronouncing the English
-language. He was emphatically what he ought to be,
-and she felt a keen pleasure in taking up her intercourse
-with him at the point where it had been interrupted
-more than four months earlier.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And now the exigencies of this history require that
-we should pass rapidly over the period that followed.
-It was an uneventful time for all concerned. George
-Wood worked with all his might and produced some
-very creditable papers on a variety of subjects, gradually
-attracting a certain amount of notice to himself, and
-advancing, as he supposed, as fast as was possible in his
-career. Success, of the kind he craved, still seemed
-very far away in the dim future, though there were not
-wanting those who believed that he might not wait long
-for it. Foremost among those was Constance Fearing.
-To her there was a vast difference between the anonymous
-scribbler of small notices whom she had known a
-year ago, and the promising young writer who appeared
-to her to have a reputation already, because most of her
-friends now knew who he was, had read one or more of
-his articles and were glad to meet him when occasion
-offered. She felt indeed that he had not yet found out
-his best talent, but her instinct told her that the time
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span>could not be very distant when it would break out of its
-own impulse and surprise the world by its brilliancy.
-That he actually possessed great and rare gifts she no
-longer doubted.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Next to Constance, the Sherrington Trimms were the
-loudest in their praise of George’s doings. Totty could
-talk of nothing else when she came to the house in
-Washington Square, and her husband never failed to
-read everything George wrote, and to pat him on the
-back after each fresh effort. Even George’s father began
-to relent and to believe that there might be something
-in literature after all. But he showed very little
-enthusiasm until, one day, an old acquaintance with
-whom he had not spoken for years, crossed the street
-and shook hands with him, congratulated him upon his
-boy’s “doing so well.” Then Jonah Wood felt that the
-load of anxiety he had borne for so many years was suddenly
-lifted from his shoulders. People thought his boy
-was “doing well”! He had not hoped to be told that
-spontaneously by any one for years to come. The
-dreary look began to fade out of his grey face, giving
-way to something that looked very like happiness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George himself was the least appreciative of his own
-success. Even Johnson, who was sparing of praise in
-general, wrote occasional notes in his paper expressive
-of his satisfaction at his friend’s work and generally
-containing some bit of delicate criticism or learned
-reference that lent them weight and caused them to be
-reprinted into other newspapers.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So the winter came and went again and the month of
-May came round once more. George was with Constance
-one afternoon almost exactly a year from the day
-on which he had first told her of his love. Their relations
-had been very peaceful and pleasant of late, though
-George was not so often alone with her as in former
-times. The period of mourning for the girls’ mother
-was past and many people came to the house. George
-himself had gradually made numerous acquaintances and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>led a more social life than formerly, finding interest, as
-Johnson had predicted, in watching people instead of
-poring over books. He was asked to dinner by many
-persons who had known his father and were anxious to
-make amends for having judged him unjustly, and when
-they had once received him into their houses, they liked
-him and did what they could to show it. Moreover he
-was modest and reticent in regard to himself and talked
-well of current topics. Insensibly he had begun to
-acquire social popularity and to forget much of his
-boyish cynicism. He fancied that he went into society
-merely because it sometimes gave him an opportunity of
-meeting Constance, but he was too natural and young
-not to like it for itself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Shall we not go out?” he asked, when he found her
-alone in the drawing-room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance looked up and smiled, as though she understood
-his thought. He was afraid that Grace would
-enter the room and spoil his visit, as had happened more
-than once, and Constance feared the same thing. Neither
-had ever said as much to the other, but there was a tacit
-understanding between them, and their intimacy had
-developed so far that Constance made no secret of wishing
-to be alone with him when he came to the house.
-She smiled in spite of herself and George smiled in
-return.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. We can take a turn in the Square,” she said.
-“It will be—cooler, you know.” A soft laugh seemed
-to explain the hesitation, and George felt very happy.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A few minutes later they were walking side by side
-under the great trees. Instinctively they kept away
-from the Fearings’ house—Grace might chance to be at
-the window.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It was almost a year ago,” said George, suddenly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That I told you I loved you. You think differently
-of me now, do you not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A little differently, perhaps,” Constance answered.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span>Then, feeling that she was blushing, she turned her face
-away and spoke rapidly. “Yes and no. I think more
-of you—that is to say, I think better of you. You
-have done so much in this year. I begin to see that you
-are more energetic than I fancied you were.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Does it seem to you as though what I have done has
-brought us any nearer together, you and me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nearer? Perhaps. I do not quite see how you
-mean.” The blush had disappeared, and she looked
-puzzled.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I mean because I have begun—only begun—to make
-something like a position for myself. If I succeed I
-hope we shall seem nearer yet—nearer and nearer, till
-there shall be no parting at all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think you mistake a letter in the word—you talk
-as though you meant dearer, more than nearer—do you
-not?” Constance laughed, and blushed again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If I said that you were making love to me—to-day,
-as you said a year ago—would you answer that you
-meant it—as I did?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What impertinence!” exclaimed Constance still
-laughing lightly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—but would you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I cannot tell what I should do, if you said anything
-so outrageous!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I love you. Is that outrageous and impertinent?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“N—o. You say it very nicely—almost too nicely.
-I am afraid you have said it before.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Often, though I cannot expect you to remember the
-exact number of repetitions. How would you say it—if
-you were obliged to say it? I have a good ear for a
-tune. I could learn your music.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Could you?” Constance hesitated while they paused
-in their walk and George looked into her eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She saw something there that had not been present
-when he had first spoken, a year ago. He had seemed
-cold then, even to her inexperience. Now there was
-both passion and tenderness in his look, and there was
-sadness in his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>“You do love me now,” she said softly. “I can see
-it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And you, dear—will you not say the little words?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Again she hesitated. Then she put out her hand and
-touched his very gently. “I hate you, sir,” she said.
-But she pronounced the syllables with infinite softness
-and delicacy, and the music of her voice could not have
-been more sweet if she had said “I love you, dear.”
-Then she laughed again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I could hear you say that very often, without being
-hurt,” said George tenderly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I only wanted to show you how I should say those
-other words—if I would,” she answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is that all? Well—if there is a just proportion
-between your hatred and your love and your way of
-expressing them, your love must be——” he stopped.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Must be what?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“As great as mine. I cannot find anything stronger
-than that to say—nor could you, if you knew.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So you love me, then. I wonder how long it will
-last? When did it begin?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The second time I saw you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Love at second sight! How romantic—so much
-more original than at first sight, and so much more
-natural. No—you must not take my hand—there are
-people over there—and besides, there is no reason why
-you should. I told you I hated you. There—walk
-like a sensible being and talk about your work!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are a strange creature, Constance.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Am I? Why do you call me Constance? I do not
-call you George—indeed I do not like the name at all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nor I, if you do not—you can call me Constantine
-if you like. That name would be more like yours.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not like my own. It makes me think of the
-odiously good little girls in story books. Besides, what
-is it? Why am I called Constance? Is it for the town
-in Switzerland? I was never there. Is it for the virtue
-I least possess?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>“As your sister is called Grace,” suggested George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Hush! Grace is a very graceful girl. Take it in
-that way, and leave her alone. Am I the English for
-Constantia? Come, give me an explanation! Talk!
-Say something! You are leaving the burden of the conversation
-to me, and then you are not even listening!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I was thinking of you—I always am. What shall
-I talk about? You are the only subject on which I
-could be at all eloquent.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You might talk about yourself, for a change,” suggested
-Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But you say you hate me, so that you would not find
-an account of me agreeable, would you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think my hatred could be made very accommodating,
-if you would talk pleasantly—even about yourself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would rather make love to you than talk.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have no doubt you would, but that is just what I do
-not want you to do. Besides, you have done it before—without
-any result.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is no reason for not trying again, is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why try it at all?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Love is its own reason,” said George, “and it is the
-reason for most other things as well. I love you and I
-am not in search of reasons. I love you very, very much,
-with all my heart—so much that I do not know how to
-say it. My life is full of you. You are everywhere.
-You are always with me. In everything I have done
-since I have known you I have thought of you. I have
-asked myself whether this would please you, whether
-that would bring a smile to your dear face, whether these
-words or those would speak to your heart and be sweet
-to you. You are everything the world holds for me, the
-sun that shines, the air I breathe. Without the thought
-of you I could neither think nor work. If a man can
-grow great by the thought of woman’s love, you can
-make me one of the greatest—if men die of broken hearts
-you can kill me—you are everything to me—life, breath
-and happiness.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span>Constance was silent. He spoke passionately, and
-there was an accent of truth in his low, vibrating voice,
-that went to her heart. For one moment she almost felt
-that she loved him in return, as she had often dreamed
-of loving. That he was even now more to her than any
-living being, she knew already.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You like me,” he said presently. “You like me, you
-are fond of me, you have often told me that I am your
-best friend, the one of whom you think most. You let
-me come when I will, you let me say all that is in my
-heart to say, you let me tell you that I love you——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is very sweet to hear,” said Constance softly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And it is sweet to say as well—dearest. Ah, Constance,
-say it once, say that it is more than friendship,
-more than liking, more than fondness that you feel.
-What can it cost you to say it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Would it make you very happy?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would make this world heaven.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance stopped in her walk, drew back a little from
-his side, and looked at him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will say it,” she said quietly. “I love you—yes, I
-do. No—do not start—it is not much to hear, you must
-not be too hopeful. I will tell you the truth—so, as we
-stand—no nearer. It is not friendship nor fondness, nor
-mere liking. It is love, but it is not what it should be.
-Do you know why I tell you? Because I care too much
-for your respect to let you think I am a miserable flirt,
-to let you think that I am encouraging you and drawing
-you on, without having the least heart in the matter.
-You must think me very conscientious. Perhaps I am.
-Yes, I have encouraged you, I have drawn you on,
-because I like to hear you say what you so often say of
-late, that you love me. It is very sweet to hear, as I
-told you just now. And, do you know? I wish I could
-say the same things to you, and feel them. But I do not
-love you enough, I am not sure of my love, it is greater
-to-day and less to-morrow, and I will not give you little
-where you give me so much. You know my secret now.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span>You may hope, if you will. I am not deceiving you. I
-may love you more and more, and the day when I feel
-that it is all strong and true and whole and sound and
-unchangeable I will marry you. But I will not promise.
-I will not run the risk so long as I feel that my love may
-turn again into friendship next week—or next year. Do
-you see? Have you understood me? Is it all clear now?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I understand your words, dear, but not your heart.
-I thank you——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. Do not thank me. Come, let us walk on, slowly.
-Do you know that it has been the same with you, though
-you will not admit it? You did not love me a year ago,
-as you do now, did you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. That was impossible. I love you more and more
-every day, every week, every month.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A year ago it would have been quite possible for you
-to have forgotten me and loved some other woman. You
-did not look at me as you do now. Your voice had not
-the same ring in it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I daresay not—I have changed. I can feel it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, and it is because I have watched you changing
-in one way, that I am afraid I may change in the other.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was very much surprised and at the same time
-was made very happy by what she had told him. He
-had indeed suspected the truth, and it was not enough to
-have heard her say the words “I love you” in the calm
-and reasoning tone she had used. But on the other
-hand, there was something brilliantly honest about her
-confession, that filled him with hope and delight. If a
-woman so true once loved with all her heart, she would
-love longer and better and more truly than other women
-can. So at least thought George Wood, as he walked by
-her side beneath the trees in Washington Square, and
-glanced from time to time at her lovely blushing face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I thank you, dear, with all my heart,” he said after
-a long pause.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is little enough to thank me for. It seems to
-me that I could not have done less. Would it have been
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>honest and right to let things go on as they were going
-without an explanation?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps not. But most women would have done
-nothing. I understand you better now, I think—if a
-man can ever understand a woman at all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not understand myself,” Constance answered
-thoughtfully. “Promise me one thing,” she added,
-looking up quickly into his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything in the world,” he said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything? Then promise me that what I have said
-to-day shall make no difference in the way we meet, and
-that you will behave just as you did before.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed I will. What difference could it make? I do
-not see.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, it might. Remember that we are not engaged
-to be married——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, that? Of course not. I am engaged to you, but
-you are not engaged to me. Is that it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Better not think of any engagement at all. It can
-do no good. Love me if you will, but do not consider
-yourself bound.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you will tell me how I can love you without feeling
-bound to you, perhaps I will try and obey your commands.
-It must be a very complicated thing.” George
-laughed happily.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, do as you will,” said Constance. “Only be
-honest with me, as I have been with you. If a time
-comes when you feel that you love me less, tell me so
-frankly, and let there be an end. Will you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. I am not afraid. The day will never come.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Never is thought to be an old-fashioned word, I believe—like
-always. Will you do something else to please
-me—something to pay me for my honesty?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything—everything.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Write a book, then. It is time you did it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George did not answer at once. There was nothing
-which he really wished more to accomplish than what
-Constance asked of him, and yet, in spite of years of literary
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span>work and endless preparation, there was nothing
-for which he really felt himself less fitted. He was
-conscious that fragments of novels were constantly floating
-through his brain and that scenes formed themselves
-and conversations arranged themselves spontaneously in
-his mind when he least expected it; but everything was
-vague and unsettled, he had neither plot nor plan,
-neither the persons of the drama nor the scene of their
-action, neither beginning nor continuation, nor end. To
-promise to write a book now, this very year, seemed
-like madness. And yet he was beginning to fear lest
-he should put off the task until it should be too late.
-He was in his twenty-seventh year, and in his own
-estimation was approaching perilously near to thirty.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you ask me to do it now?” he inquired.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because it is time, and because if you go on much
-longer with these short things you will never do anything
-else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I only do it as a preparation, as a step. Honestly, I
-do not feel that I know enough to write a good book, and
-I should be sorry to write a bad one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Never mind. Make a beginning. It can do no harm
-to try. You have written a great deal lately and you
-can leave the magazines alone for a while. Shall I tell
-you what I would like?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—what?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would like you to write your book and bring the
-chapters as you write them, and read them to me one by
-one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Would you really like that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed I would.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then I will do it. I mean that I will try, for I am
-sure I cannot succeed. But—you did not think of that—where
-can we read without being interrupted? I do
-not propose to give your sister the benefit——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In Central Park—on fine days. There are quiet
-places there.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you go there with me alone?” George asked in
-some surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>“Yes. Why not? Have I not told you that I love
-you—a little?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I bless you for it, dear,” said George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And so they parted.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER IX.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George felt like a man who has committed himself to
-take part in some public competition although not properly
-prepared for the contest, and during the night that
-succeeded his last meeting with Constance he slept
-little. He had promised to write a book. That was
-bad enough, considering that he felt so little fitted for
-the task. But, at least, if he had undertaken to finish
-the work, revise it and polish it and eliminate all the
-errors he could discover before bringing it to Miss Fearing
-in its final shape, he could have comforted himself
-with the thought that the first follies he committed would
-be known only to himself. He had promised, however,
-to read the chapters to Constance as he wrote them, one
-by one, and the thought filled him with dismay. The
-charming prospect of numberless meetings with her was
-marred by the fear of being ridiculous in her eyes. It
-was for her alone that the book was to be written. It
-would be a failure and he would not even attempt to
-publish it, but the certainty that the public would not
-witness his discomfiture brought no consolation with it.
-Better a thousand times to be laughed at by the critics
-than to see a pained look of disappointment in Constance’s
-eyes. Nevertheless he considered his promise
-sacred, and, after all, it was Constance who had driven
-him to make it. He had protested his incapacity as
-well as he could. She would see that he had been right
-and would acknowledge the wisdom of waiting a little
-longer before making the great attempt.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At first, he felt as though he were in a nightmare, in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span>a dim labyrinth from which he had pledged himself to
-find an escape in a given time. His nerves, for the first
-time in his life, played him false. He grew suddenly
-hot, and then as suddenly cold again. Attempting to
-fix his imagination, monstrous faces presented themselves
-before his eyes in the dark, and he heard fragments
-of conversation in which there were long sentences
-that meant nothing. He lit a candle and sat up in bed,
-clasping his forehead with his long, smooth fingers, and
-beginning to feel that he knew what despair really
-meant.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>This then was the result of years of preparation, of
-patient practice with the pen, of thoughtful reading and
-careful study. He had always felt that he lacked the
-imagination necessary for producing a novel, and now
-he felt sure of it. Johnson had told him that he was no
-critic, and he had believed Johnson, because Johnson
-was himself the best critic he knew. What then was
-he? A writer of short papers and articles. Yes, he
-could do that. How easily now, at this very moment,
-could he think of half a dozen subjects for such work,
-and how neatly he could put them into shape, develop
-them in a certain number of pages and polish them to
-the proper degree of brilliancy!</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The morning dawned and found him still searching
-and beating his brain for a subject. As the light
-increased he felt more and more nervous. It was not
-in his nature to put off the beginning upon which he
-had determined, and he knew that on that day he must
-write the first words of his first book, or forfeit his self-respect
-for ever. There was an eminently comic side to
-the situation, but he could not see it. His dread of
-being ridiculous in the eyes of the woman he loved was
-great enough to keep him from contemplating the
-absurdity of his case. His sensations became intolerable;
-he felt like a doomed man awaiting his execution,
-whose only chance of a reprieve lay in inventing a plot
-for a novel. He could bear it no longer, and he got out
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span>of bed and opened his window. The fresh air of the
-May morning rushed in and suddenly filled the room
-with sweetness and his excited brain with a new sense
-of possibilities. He sat down at his table without
-thinking of dressing himself, and took up his pen. A
-sheet of paper lay ready before him, and the habit of
-writing was strong in itself—too strong to be resisted.
-In a few minutes that white sheet would be covered with
-words that would mean something, and those words
-would be the beginning of his book, of the novel he was
-about to write but of the contents of which he had not
-the remotest conception. This was not the way he had
-anticipated the commencement of the work that was to
-lay the first stone of his reputation. He had fancied
-himself sitting down to that first page, calm and collected,
-armed with a plot already thoroughly elaborated,
-charmed beforehand with the characters of his own
-invention, carried away from the first by the spirit of
-the action, cheered at every page by the certainty of
-success, because failure was to have been excluded by
-the multiplicity of his precautions. And here he was,
-without an idea in his brain or the least subject for an
-excuse, beginning a romance which was to be judged
-step by step by the person of all others most dear to
-him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George dipped his pen into the ink a second time and
-then glanced at the calendar. It was the fifth of May.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well,” he said aloud, “there is luck in odd numbers.
-Here goes my first novel!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And thereupon, to his own great surprise, he began
-writing rapidly. He did not know what was coming, he
-hardly knew whether his hero had black hair or brown,
-and as for the heroine, he had not thought of her at all.
-But the hero was himself and was passing a night of great
-anxiety and distress in a small room, in a small house, in
-the city of New York. The reason of his anxiety and distress
-was a profound secret as yet, because George had
-not invented it, but there was no difficulty in depicting
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>his state of mind. The writer had just spent that very
-night himself, and was describing it while the sun was
-yet scarcely risen. He chuckled viciously as he drove
-his pen along the lines and wrote out the ready phrases
-that rushed into his brain. It was inexpressibly comic
-to be giving all the details of his hero’s suffering without
-having the smallest idea of what caused it; but, as
-he went on, he found that his silence upon this important
-point was lending an uncanny air of mystery to his
-first chapter, and his own interest was unexpectedly
-aroused.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It seemed strange, too, to find himself at liberty to
-devote as much space as he pleased to the elaboration of
-details that attracted his attention, and to feel that he
-was not limited in space as he had hitherto been in all
-he wrote. Of course, when he stopped to think of what
-he was to do next, he was as much convinced as ever
-that nothing could come of his attempt beyond this first
-chapter. The whole affair was like a sort of trial gallop
-over the paper, and doubtless when he read over what he
-had written he would be convinced of its worthlessness.
-He remembered his first fiery article upon the critics,
-and the wholesale cutting and pruning it had required
-before he could even submit it to Johnson. Then, however,
-he had written under the influence of anger; now,
-he was conscious of a new pleasure in every sentence,
-his ideas came smoothly to the surface and his own
-language had a freshness which he did not recognise.
-In old times he had studied the manner of great writers
-in the attempt to improve his own, and his style had
-been subject to violent attacks of Carlyle and to lucid
-intervals of Macaulay, he had worshipped at Ruskin’s
-exquisite shrine and had offered incense in Landor’s
-classic temple, he had eaten of Thackeray’s salt and had
-drunk long draughts from Dickens’s loving-cup. Perhaps
-each had produced its effect, but now he was no longer
-conscious of receiving influence from any of them. For
-the first time in his life he was himself, for better, for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_123'>123</span>worse, to fail or to succeed. His soul and his consciousness
-expanded together in a new and intoxicating life,
-as he struck those first reckless strokes in the delicious
-waters of the unknown.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He forgot everything, dress, breakfast, his father, the
-time of day and the time of year, and when he rose from
-his seat he had written the first chapter of his novel.
-For some occult reason he had stopped suddenly and
-dropped his pen. He knew instinctively that he had
-reached his first halting-place, and he paused for breath,
-left the table and went to the window. To his astonishment
-the sun was already casting shadows in the little
-brick yard, and he knew that it must be past noon. He
-looked at himself and saw that he was not dressed, then
-he looked at his watch and found that it was one o’clock.
-He rubbed his eyes, for it had all been like a dream,
-like a vision of fairyland, like a night spent at the play.
-On the table lay many pages of closely-written matter,
-numbered and neatly put together by sheer force of
-habit. He hardly knew what they contained, and he
-was quite unable to recall the words that opened the
-first paragraph. But he knew the last sentence by heart,
-for it was still ringing in his brain, and strange to say,
-he knew what was to come next, though he seemed not
-to have known it so long as he held his pen. While he
-dressed himself the whole book, confused in its details
-but clear in its general outline, presented itself to his
-contemplation, and he knew that he should write it as
-he saw it. It would assuredly not be a good novel, it
-would never be published, and he was wasting his time,
-but it would be a book, and he should keep his promise
-to Constance. He went downstairs and found his father
-at luncheon, with a newspaper beside him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, George,” said the old gentleman, “I thought
-you were never going to get up.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not quite sure that I have been to bed,” answered
-the young man. “But I know that I have been writing
-since it was daylight and have had no breakfast.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_124'>124</span>“That is a bad way of beginning the day,” said Jonah
-Wood, shaking his head. “You will derange your
-digestion by these habits. It is idle to try such experiments
-on the human frame.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It was quite an unwilling experiment. I forgot all
-about eating. I had some work that had to be done and
-so I put it through.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“More articles?” inquired his father with kindly
-interest.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I believe I am writing a book,” said George. “It
-is a new sensation and very exhilarating, but I cannot
-tell you anything about it till I have got on with it
-further.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A book, eh? Well, I wish you success, George. I
-hope you are well prepared and that you will do nothing
-hasty or ill considered.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, indeed!” exclaimed George with a laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Hasty and ill considered! Could any two epithets
-better describe the way in which he had gone to work?
-What rubbish it would be when it was finished, he
-thought, as he attacked the cold meat and pickles. He
-realised that he was desperately hungry, and unaccountably
-gay considering that he anticipated a total failure,
-and it was surprising that while he believed that he had
-been producing trash he should be in such a hurry to
-finish his meal in order to produce more. Nothing,
-however, seemed to be of the slightest importance, except
-to write as fast as he could in order to have plenty of
-manuscript to read to Constance at the first opportunity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>That night before going to bed he sat down in a comfortable
-chair, lit a pipe and read over what he had
-written. It must be very poor stuff, of course, he considered,
-because he had turned it out so quickly; but he
-experienced one of the great pleasures of his life in
-reading it over. The phrases sent thrills of satisfaction
-through him and his hand trembled as he took up one
-sheet after another. It was strange that he should be
-able to take such delight in what must manifestly be so
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>bad. But, bad or not, the thing was alive, and the
-characters were his companions, whispering in his ear
-the words that they were to speak, and bringing with
-them their individual atmospheres, while a sort of
-secondary and almost unconscious imagination performed
-the scene-shifting in a smooth and masterly fashion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Three days later, he sat beside Constance Fearing upon
-a wooden bench in a retired nook in Central Park. The
-weather was gloriously beautiful, and the whole world
-smelt of violets and sunshine. Everything was fresh
-and peaceful, and the stillness was broken only by the
-voices of laughing children who played together a hundred
-yards away from where the pair were sitting.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And now, begin,” said Constance eagerly, as George
-produced his folded manuscript.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is horrible stuff,” he said. “I had really much
-rather not read it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Shall I go away?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then read!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A great wave of timidity came over the young man in
-that moment. He could not account for it, for he had
-often read to Constance the manuscript of his short
-articles. But this seemed very different. He let the
-folded sheets rest on his knee, and gazed into the distance,
-seeing nothing and wishing that he might sink
-through the earth into his own room. To judge from
-the sensation in his throat, he would not be able to read
-at all. Then all at once, he grew cold. He had undertaken
-to do this thing and he must carry it through, come
-what might. Constance would not laugh at him, and she
-would be just. He wished that she were Johnson, for it
-would be easier.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am waiting,” she said with a gentle smile. George
-laughed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I never was so frightened in my life,” he said. “I
-know what stage fright is, now.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance looked at him, and she liked his timidity
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_126'>126</span>more than she had often liked his boldness. She felt
-that she loved him a little more than before. Her voice
-was very soft when she spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you afraid of me, dear?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The blood came to George’s face. It was the first
-time she had ever used an endearing expression in
-speaking to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not since you have said that,” he answered, opening
-the sheets.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He read the first chapter, and she did not interrupt
-him. Occasionally he glanced at her face. It was very
-grave and thoughtful, and he could not guess what was
-passing in her mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is the end of the first chapter,” he said at last.
-“Do you like it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Go on!” she exclaimed quickly without heeding his
-question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George did as he was bidden and read on to the end of
-what he had brought. Whatever Constance might think
-of the work, she was evidently anxious to hear it, and
-this fact at least gave him a little courage. When he
-had finished, he folded up the sheets quickly and returned
-them to his pocket, without looking at his companion’s
-face. He did not dare ask her again for her opinion and
-he waited for her to speak. But she said nothing and
-leaned back in her seat, apparently contemplating the
-trees.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Would you like to walk a little?” George asked in
-an unsteady voice. He now took it for granted that she
-was not pleased.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you want to know what I think of your three
-chapters?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, please,” he answered nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“They are very, very good. They are as much better
-than anything you have ever done before, as champagne
-is better than soda-water.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not really!” George exclaimed in genuine and overwhelming
-surprise. “You are not in earnest?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_127'>127</span>“Indeed I am,” Constance answered, with some impatience.
-“Do you think I would say such a thing if I were
-not sure of it? Do you not feel it yourself? Did you
-not know it when you were writing?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—I thought, because it was written so fast it
-could not be worth much. Indeed, I think so still—I
-am afraid that you are——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mistaken?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perhaps—carried away because you like me, or
-because you think I ought to write well.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nonsense. Promise me that you will not show this
-book to any one until it is quite finished. I want you to
-take my word for it, to believe in my judgment, because
-I know I am right. Will you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course I will. To whom should I show it? I
-think I should be ashamed.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You need not be ashamed if you go on in that way.
-When will you have written more?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Give me three days—that will give you three chapters
-at least and take you well into the story. You are
-not going out of town yet.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall not go until it is finished,” said Constance
-with great determination. She had made up her mind
-that George would write better if he wrote very fast,
-and she meant to urge him to do his utmost.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But that may take a long time,” he objected.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No it will not,” she answered. “You would not
-keep me in New York when it is too hot, would you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will do my best,” said George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He kept his word and three weeks later he sat in his
-room, in the small hours of the morning, writing the last
-page of his first novel. He was in a state of indescribable
-excitement, though he seemed to be no longer thinking
-at all. The pen seemed to do the work of itself and
-he followed the words that appeared so quickly with a
-feverish interest. He had not the least idea how it
-would all look when it was done, but something told him
-that it was being done in the right way. His hand flew
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_128'>128</span>from side to side of the paper, and then stopped suddenly,
-why, he could not tell. It was not possible that
-there should be nothing more to say, no more to add, not
-one word to make the completion more complete. He
-collected his thoughts and read the page over carefully to
-the end. No—there was nothing wanting, and one word
-more would spoil the conclusion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not understand why, I am sure,” he said to himself.
-“But that is the end, and there is no doubt about
-it. So here it goes! George—Winton—Wood—May
-29th.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He pushed the sheet away from him. Rather theatrical,
-he thought, to sign his name to it, as though it
-were a real book, and as though the manuscript were
-worth keeping. He had done it all to please Constance,
-and Constance was pleased. In twenty-four days he
-had concocted a novel—and he had never in his life
-enjoyed twenty-four days so much. That was because
-he had seen Constance so often and because this wretched
-scroll had amused her. Would she like the last three
-chapters? Of course she would. He would take her the
-whole manuscript and make her a present of it. That
-was all it could be good for. To publish such stuff would
-be folly, even if any publisher could be found to abet
-such madness. On the whole, he would prefer to throw
-the whole into the fire. Nobody could tell. He might
-be famous some day in the far future, and then when he
-was dead and gone and could not interfere any longer,
-some abominable literary executor would get hold of this
-thing and print it, and show the world what an egregious
-ass the celebrated George Winton Wood had been when he
-was a very young man. But Constance could have it if she
-liked, on condition that it was never shown to anybody.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thereupon George tumbled into bed and slept soundly
-until ten o’clock on the following morning, when he
-gathered up his manuscript, tied it up into a neat bundle
-and went to meet Constance at their accustomed trysting-place
-in the Park.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_129'>129</span>There were some very striking passages towards the
-conclusion of the book, and George read them as well as
-he could. Indeed as many of the best speeches were put
-into the mouth of the hero and were supposed to be addressed
-to the lady of his affections, George found it
-very natural to speak them to Constance and to give
-them a very tender emphasis. It was clear, too, that
-Constance understood the real intention of the love-making
-and, to all appearance, appreciated it, for the colour
-came and went softly in her face, and there was sometimes
-a little moisture in her eyes and sometimes a light
-that is not caused by mere interest in an everyday novel.
-George wrote better than he talked, as many men do who
-are born writers. There was music in his phrases, but
-it was the music of pure nature and not the rhythm of a
-studied prose. That was what most struck the attention
-of the young girl who sat beside him, drinking in the
-words which she knew were meant for her, and which
-she felt were more beautiful than anything she had heard
-before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To tell the truth, though she had spoken her admiration
-very frankly and forcibly, she was beginning to
-doubt her own ability to judge of the work. If George’s
-talent were really as great as it now seemed to her, how
-had it remained concealed so long? There had been
-nothing to compare with this in his numerous short writings.
-Was this because they had not been addressed to
-herself, or was it for this very reason that his novel was
-so much more fascinating? Or was it really because he
-had at last found out his strength and was beginning to
-use it like a giant? She could not tell. She confessed to
-herself that she had assumed much in setting up her
-judgment as a standard for him in the matter. The more
-he had read, the more she had been amazed at his knowledge
-of things and men, at his easy versatility and at the
-power he displayed in the more dramatic parts of the
-book. Of one thing she felt sure. The book would be
-read and would be liked by the class of people with whom
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_130'>130</span>she associated. What the critics might think or say
-about it was another matter.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She had been prepared for something well done at the
-last, but she had not anticipated the ending—that ending
-which had so much surprised the writer himself in
-his inexperience of his own powers. His voice trembled
-as he read the last page, and he was not even conscious
-of being ashamed of showing so much feeling about the
-creatures of his imagination. He was aware, as in a
-dream that Constance’s small hand was tightly clasped
-in his while he was reading, and then, as his voice
-ceased, he felt her head resting against his shoulder.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She was looking down and he could only see that there
-was colour in her face, but as he gazed at the tiny fair
-curls that were just visible to him, he saw a crystal tear
-fall upon his rough sleeve and glisten in the May sunlight.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have dropped one of your diamonds,” he said,
-softly. “Is it for me—or for the man in the book?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She looked up into his face with a happy smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You should know best,” she answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her face was very near to his, and though his came
-nearer, she did not draw hers away. George forgot the
-nurses and the children in the distance. If all his
-assembled acquaintances had been drawn up in ranks
-before him, he would have forgotten their presence too.
-His lips touched her cheek, not timidly, nor roughly
-either, though he felt for one moment that his blood was
-on fire. Then she drew back quickly and took her hand
-from his.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is very wrong of me,” she said. “Perhaps I shall
-never love you enough for that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How can you say so? Was it for the man in the
-book, then, after all?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know—forget it. It may come some
-day——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it nearer than it was? Is it any nearer?” George
-asked, very tenderly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_131'>131</span>“I do not know. I am very foolish. Your book
-moved me I suppose—it is so grand, that last part,
-where he tells her the truth, and she sees how noble he
-has been all through.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad you have liked it so much. It was written
-to amuse you, and it has done that, at all events. So
-here it is. Do you care to keep it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance looked at him in surprise, not understanding
-what he meant.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course I want it,” she answered. “After it is
-printed give it back to me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Printed!” exclaimed George, contemptuously. “Do
-you think anybody would publish it? Do you really
-think I would offer it to anybody?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are not serious,” said the young girl, staring at
-him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed I am in earnest. Do you believe a novel can
-be dashed off in that way, in three or four weeks and be
-good for anything? Why, it needs six months at least
-to write a book!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What do you call this?” Constance asked, growing
-suddenly cold and taking the manuscript from his hands.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not a book, certainly. It is a scrawl of some sort,
-a little better than a dime novel, a little poorer than
-the last thrilling tale in a cheap weekly. Whatever it
-is, it is not a publishable story.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance could not believe her ears. She did not
-know whether to be angry at his persistent contempt of
-her opinion, or to be frightened at the possibility of his
-being right.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“We cannot both be right,” she said at last, with sudden
-energy. “One of us two must be an idiot—an
-absolute idiot—and—well, I would rather not think
-that I am the one, you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George laughed and tried to take the manuscript back,
-but she held it behind her and faced him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What are you going to do with it?” he asked, when
-he saw that she was determined to keep it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_132'>132</span>“I will not tell you. Did you not say you had written
-it for me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, but for you alone.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not at all. It is my property, and I will make any
-use of it I like.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Please do not show it to any one,” he said very earnestly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I promise nothing. It is mine to dispose of as I see
-fit.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Let me look over it at least—I am sure it is full of
-bad English, and there are lots of words left out, and
-the punctuation is erratic. Give me that chance.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I will not. You can do it on the proof. You
-are always telling me of what you do on the proofs of
-things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Constance! For Heaven’s sake give it back to me
-and think no more about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you love me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You know I do——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And do you want me to love you?—I may, you
-know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I want nothing else—but, Constance, I beg of
-you——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then apply your gigantic intellect to the contemplation
-of what concerns you. To be short, mind your own
-business, and go home.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Please——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you are not gone before I count five, I shall hate
-you. I am beginning—one—two——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, there is one satisfaction,” said George, abandoning
-the contest, “if you send it to a publisher to read,
-you will never see it again, nor hear of it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will stand over him while he reads it,” said Constance,
-laughing. “If you are good you can take me to
-the carriage—if not, go away.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George walked by her side and helped her into the
-brougham that waited for her a short distance from the
-place where they had sat. He was utterly overcome by
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_133'>133</span>the novelty of the situation and did not even attempt to
-speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is a great book,” said Constance, speaking through
-the open window after he had shut the door. “Tell him
-to go home.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not care a straw what it is, so long as it has
-pleased you. Home, John!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes sir.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And away the carriage rolled. Constance had not
-determined what she should do with her prize, but she
-was not long in making up her mind. George had often
-spoken of his friend Johnson, and had shown her articles
-written by him. It struck her that he would be the
-very person to whom she might apply for help. George
-would never suspect her of having gone to him and, from
-all accounts, he was an extremely reticent and judicious
-personage. She told the coachman to drive her to the
-office of the newspaper to which Johnson belonged and
-to beguile the time she began to read the manuscript
-over again from the beginning. When the carriage
-stopped she did not know that she had been driving for
-more than an hour since she had left George standing in
-the road in the Park.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER X.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Constance did not find Johnson without asking her
-way many times, and losing it nearly as often, in the
-huge new building which was the residence and habitation
-of the newspaper. Nor did her appearance fail to
-excite surprise and admiration in the numerous reporters,
-messengers and other members of the establishment who
-had glimpses of her as she passed rapidly on, from corridor
-to corridor. It happened that Johnson was in the
-room allotted to his department, which was not always the
-case at that hour, for he did much of his work at his home.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_134'>134</span>“Come in!” he said sharply, without looking up from
-his writing. “Well—what is it? Oh!” as he saw Miss
-Fearing standing before him. “I beg your pardon,
-madam!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you Mr. Johnson? Am I disturbing you?” Constance
-asked. She was beginning to be surprised at her
-own audacity, and almost wished she had not come.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes madam. My name is Johnson, and my time is
-at your service,” said the pale young man, moving forward
-his best chair and offering it to her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you. I will not trouble you long. I have
-here a novel in manuscript——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Johnson interrupted her promptly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Excuse me, madam, but to avoid all misunderstanding,
-I should tell you frankly from the first that we
-never publish fiction——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, of course not,” Constance broke in. “Let me
-tell my story.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Johnson bowed his head and assumed an attitude of
-attention.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A friend of yours,” the young girl continued, “has
-written this book. His name is Mr. George Winton
-Wood——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know him very well.” Johnson wondered why
-George had not come himself, and wondered especially
-how he happened to dispose of so young and beautiful
-an ambassadress.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—he has often told me about you,” said Constance.
-“Very well. He has written this novel, and I
-have read it. He thinks it is not worth publishing, and
-I think it is. I want to ask a great favour of you. Will
-you read it yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The pale young man hesitated. He was intensely
-conscientious, and he feared there was something queer
-about the business.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Pardon me,” he said, “does Mr. Wood know that
-you have brought it to me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No indeed! I would not have him know it for the
-world!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_135'>135</span>“Then I would rather not——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But you must!” Constance exclaimed energetically.
-“It is splendid, and he wants to burn it. It will make
-his reputation in a day—I assure you it will! And
-besides, I would not promise him not to show it. Please,
-please, Mr. Johnson——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, if you are quite sure there is no promise——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, quite, quite sure. And will you give me your
-opinion very soon? If you begin to read it you will not
-be able to lay it down.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Johnson smiled as he thought of the hundreds of
-manuscripts he had read for publishers. He had never
-found much difficulty in laying aside any of them.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is true,” Constance insisted. “It is a great book.
-There has been nothing like it for ever so many years.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well, madam. Give me the screed and I will
-read it. When shall I send—or would you rather——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He stopped, not knowing whether she wished to give
-her name. Constance hesitated, too, and blushed faintly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am Miss Fearing,” she said. “I live in Washington
-Square. Will you write down the address? Come
-and see me—or are you too busy?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will bring you the manuscript the day after to-morrow,
-Miss Fearing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh please, yes. Not later, because I cannot go out of
-town until I know—I mean, I want to go to Newport
-as soon as possible. Come after five. Will you? I
-mean if it is not giving you really too much trouble——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not in the least, Miss Fearing,” said the pale young
-man with alacrity. He was thinking that for the sake
-of conversing a quarter of an hour with such an exceedingly
-amiable young lady, he would put himself to vastly
-more trouble than was involved in stopping at Washington
-Square on his way up town in the afternoon.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you. You are so kind. Good-bye, Mr.
-Johnson.” She held out her hand, but Johnson seized
-his hat and prepared to accompany her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Let me take you to the Elevated, Miss Fearing,” he
-said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_136'>136</span>“Thank you very much, but I have a carriage downstairs,”
-said Constance. “If you would show me the
-way—it is so very complicated.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Certainly, Miss Fearing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance wondered why he repeated her name so
-often, whether it was a habit he had, or whether he was
-nervous, or whether he thought it good manners. She
-was not so much impressed with him at first sight as she
-had expected to be. He had not said anything at all
-clever, though it was true that there had not been many
-opportunities for wit in the conversation that had taken
-place. He belonged to a type with which she was not
-familiar, and she could not help asking herself whether
-George had other friends like him, who, if she knew
-them, would call her by her name half a dozen times in
-three minutes, and if he had many of them whether, in
-the event of her marrying him, she would be expected
-to know them all and to like them for his sake. Not
-that there was anything common or vulgar about this
-Johnson whom George praised so much. He spoke
-quietly, without any especial accent, and quite without
-affectation. He was dressed with perfect simplicity and
-good taste, there was nothing awkward in his manner—indeed
-Constance vaguely wished that he might have
-shown some little awkwardness or shyness. He was
-evidently a man of the highest education, and George
-said he was a man of the highest intelligence, but as
-Constance gave him her hand and he closed the door of
-the brougham, the impression came over her with startling
-vividness, that Mr. Johnson was emphatically not a
-man she would ask to dinner. She felt sure that if she
-met him in society she should feel a vague surprise at
-his being there, though she might find it impossible to
-say why he should not. On the other hand, though she
-was aware that she put herself in his power to some
-extent, since it was impossible that he should not guess
-that her interest in George Wood was the result of something
-at least a little stronger than ordinary friendship,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_137'>137</span>yet she very much preferred to trust this stranger rather
-than to confide in any of the men she knew in society,
-not excepting John Bond himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At five o’clock on the day agreed upon, Constance was
-informed that “a gentleman, a Mr. Johnson,” had called,
-saying that he came by appointment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are so kind,” said Constance, as he sat down
-opposite to her. He held the manuscript in his hand.
-“And what do you think of it? Am I not right?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very much surprised,” said the pale young man.
-“It is a remarkable book, Miss Fearing, and it ought to
-be published at once.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance had felt sure of the answer, but she blushed
-with pleasure, a fact which did not escape Johnson’s
-quiet scrutiny.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You really think Mr. Wood has talent?” she asked,
-for the sake of hearing another word of praise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is more talent in one of his pages than in the
-whole aggregate works of half a dozen ordinarily successful
-writers,” Johnson answered with emphasis.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am so glad you think so—so glad. And what is
-the first thing to be done in order to get this published?
-You see, I must ask your help, now that you have given
-your opinion.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you leave the matter in my hands, Miss Fearing?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance hesitated. There was assuredly no one who
-would be more likely to do the proper thing in the matter,
-and yet she reflected that she knew nothing or next
-to nothing of the man before her, except from George’s
-praise of his intelligence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Suppose that a publisher accepts the book,” she said
-warily, “what will he give Mr. Wood for it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Ten per cent on the advertised retail price,” Johnson
-answered promptly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of every copy sold, I suppose,” said Constance, who
-had a remarkably good head for business. “That is not
-much, is it? And besides, how is one to know that the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_138'>138</span>publisher is honest? One hears such dreadful stories
-about those people.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Johnson laughed a little.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Faith is the evidence of things unseen, supported by
-reasonable and punctual payments,” he said. “Publishers
-are not all Cretans, Miss Fearing. There be certain
-just men among them who have reputations to lose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And none of them would do better than that by the
-book? But of course you know. Have you ever published
-anything yourself? Forgive my ignorance——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I once published a volume of critical essays,” Johnson
-answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What was the title? I must read it—please tell me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not worth the trouble, I assure you. The title
-was that—<cite>Critical Essays</cite> by William Johnson.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you, I will remember. And will you really
-do your very best for Mr. Wood’s book? Do you think
-it could be published in a fortnight?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A fortnight!” exclaimed Johnson, aghast at Constance’s
-ignorance. “Three months would be the shortest
-time possible.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Three months! Dear me, what a length of time!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Johnson rapidly explained as well as he could the
-principal reasons why it takes longer to publish a book
-than to write one. He exchanged a few more words
-with Constance, promising to make every effort to push
-on the appearance of the novel, but advising her to
-expect no news whatever for several months. Then he
-took his leave.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Half an hour later Constance was at her bookseller’s.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I want a book called <cite>Critical Essays</cite>, by William
-Johnson,” she said. “Have you got it, Mr. Popples?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She waited some time before it was brought to her.
-Then she pretended to look through it carefully, examining
-the headings of the papers that were collected
-in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it worth reading?” she asked carelessly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Excellent, Miss Fearing,” answered the grey-haired
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_139'>139</span>professional bookseller. He had known Constance since
-she had been a mere child with a passion for Mr. Walter
-Crane’s picture-books. “Excellent,” he repeated, emphatically.
-“A little dry perhaps, but truly excellent.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Has it been a success, do you know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, I know, Miss Fearing,” answered Mr. Popples,
-with a meaning smile. “I know very well. I happen
-to know that it did not pay for the printing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did the author not even get ten per cent on the
-advertised retail price?” Constance inquired.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mr. Popples stared at her for a moment, evidently
-wondering where she had picked up the phrase. He
-immediately suspected her of having perpetrated a literary
-misdeed in one volume.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, Miss Fearing. I happen to know that Mr. Johnson
-did not get ten per cent on the advertised retail
-price of his book; in point of fact, he got nothing at all
-for it, excepting a number of very flattering notices.
-But excuse me, Miss Fearing, if you were thinking of
-venturing upon publishing anything——” His voice
-dropped to a confidential pitch.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I?” exclaimed Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, Miss Fearing, it could be done very discreetly,
-you know. Just a little volume of sweet verse? Is that
-it, Miss Fearing? Now, you know, that kind of thing
-would have a run in society, and if you would like to put
-it into my hands, I know a publisher——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But, Mr. Popples,” interrupted Constance, recovering
-from her amusement so far as to be able to interrupt
-the current of the bookseller’s engaging offers, “I never
-wrote anything in my life. I asked out of sheer curiosity.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mr. Popples smiled blandly, without the least appearance
-of disappointment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, well, Miss Fearing, you are quite right,” he
-said. “In point of fact those little literary ventures of
-young ladies very rarely do come to much, do they? To
-misquote the Laureate, Miss Fearing, we might say that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_140'>140</span>‘Men must write and women must read’! Eh, Miss
-Fearing?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The old fellow chuckled at his bad joke, as he wrapped
-up the volume of <cite>Critical Essays</cite> by William Johnson,
-and handed it across the table. There were only tables
-in Mr. Popples’s establishment; he despised counters.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything else to serve you, Miss Fearing? A novel
-or two, for the May weather? No? Let me take it to
-your carriage.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thanks. I am walking, but I will carry it. Good
-evening.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good evening, Miss Fearing. Your parasol is here.
-Walking this evening! In the May weather! Good
-evening, Miss Fearing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And Mr. Popples bowed his favourite customer out of
-his establishment, with a very kindly look in his tired
-old spectacled eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance had got what she had come for. If William
-Johnson, author of <cite>Critical Essays</cite>, a journalist and a
-man presumably acquainted with all the ins and outs of
-publishing, had made nothing by his successful book,
-George would be doing very well in obtaining ten per
-cent on the advertised retail price of every copy of his
-novel which was sold. Constance had been mistaken
-when she had doubted Johnson, but she did not regret
-her doubt in the least. After all, she had undertaken the
-responsibility of George’s book, and she could not conscientiously
-believe everything she was told by strangers
-concerning its chances. Mr. Popples, however, was above
-suspicion, and had, moreover, no reason for telling that
-the <cite>Critical Essays</cite> had brought their author no remuneration.
-Johnson’s face, too, inspired confidence, as
-well as George’s own trust in him. Constance felt that
-she had done all she could, and she accordingly made her
-preparations for going out of town.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She was glad to get away, in order to study herself.
-The habit of introspection had grown upon her, for she
-had encouraged herself in it, ever since she had begun to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_141'>141</span>feel that George was something more to her than a friend.
-Her over-conscientious nature feared to make some mistake
-which might embitter his life as well as her own.
-She was in constant dread of letting herself be carried
-away by the impulse of a moment to say something that
-might bind her to marry him, before she could feel that
-she loved him wholly as she wished to love him. On
-looking back, she bitterly regretted having allowed him
-to kiss her cheek on that morning in the Park. She had
-been under the influence of a strong emotion, produced
-by the conclusion of his book, and she seemed in her own
-eyes to have acted in a way quite unworthy of herself.
-Had she been able to carry her analysis further, she
-would have discovered that behind her distrust of herself
-she felt a lingering distrust of George. A year
-earlier she had thought it possible that he was strongly
-attracted by her fortune. Now, however, she would have
-scouted the idea, if it had presented itself in that shape.
-But it was present, nevertheless, in a more subtle form.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He loves me sincerely,” she said to herself. “He
-would marry me now, if I were a pauper. But would he
-have loved me from the first if I had been poor?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was not often that she put the question, even in
-this way, but as it belonged to that class of vicious inquiries
-which it is impossible to answer, it tormented her
-perpetually by suggesting a whole series of doubts, useless
-in themselves and mischievous in their consequences.
-She was convinced of two things. First, that she was
-unaccountably influenced by George’s presence to say
-and do things which she was determined at other times
-that she would never say or do; and, secondly, that
-whether she loved him truly or not she could not imagine
-herself as loving any one else nearly so much. Under
-these circumstances, it was clearly better that she should
-not see him for a considerable time. She would thus
-withdraw herself from the sphere of his direct influence,
-and she would have leisure to study and weigh her own
-feelings, with a view to reaching a final decision. Nevertheless
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_142'>142</span>she looked forward to the moment of parting from
-him with something that was very like pain. Contrary
-to her expectations, the interview passed off with little
-show of emotion on either side.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>They talked for some time about the book, Constance
-assuming an air of mystery as regards its future and
-George speaking of it with the utmost indifference. At
-the last minute, when he had risen to go and was standing
-beside her, she laid her hand upon his arm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not think I am heartless, do you?” she asked,
-looking at a particular button on his coat.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” George answered. “I think you are very sincere.
-I sometimes wish you would forget to be so sincere
-with yourself. I wish you would let yourself run away
-with yourself now and then.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That would be very wrong. It would be very unfair
-and unjust to you. Suppose—only suppose, you know—that
-I made up my mind to marry you, and then discovered
-when it was too late that I did not love you.
-Would not that be dreadful? Is it not better to wait a
-little longer?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You shall never say that I have pressed you into a
-decision against your will,” said George, betraying in
-one speech his youth, his ignorance of woman in general
-and his almost quixotic readiness to obey Constance in
-anything and everything.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are very generous,” she answered, still looking
-at the button. “But I will not feel that I am spoiling
-your life—no, let me speak—to keep you in this position
-much longer would be doing that, indeed it would.
-In six months from now you will be famous. I know it,
-though you laugh at me. Then you will be able to marry
-whom you please. I cannot marry you now, for I do not
-love you enough. You are free, you must not feel that
-I want to bind you, do you understand. You will travel
-this summer, for you have told me that you are going to
-make several visits in country-houses. If you see any
-one you like better than me, do not feel that you are
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_143'>143</span>tied by any promises. It would not break my heart, if
-you married some one else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In spite of her calmness there was a slight tremor in
-her voice which did not escape George’s ear.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall never love any one else,” he said simply.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You may. I may. But waiting must have a
-limit——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Say this, Constance,” said George. “Say that if, by
-next May, you do not love me less than you do now, you
-will be my wife.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I must love you more. If I love you better than
-now, it will show that my love is always to increase, and
-I will marry you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In May?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In May, next year. But this is no engagement. I
-make no promise, and I will take none from you. You
-are free, and so am I, until the first of May——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall never be free again, dear,” said George, happily,
-for he anticipated great things of the strange agreement
-she proposed. He put his arm about her and drew
-her to him very tenderly. Another second and his lips
-would have touched her cheek, just where they had
-touched it once before. But Constance drew back
-quickly and slipped from his arm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, no,” she laughed, “that is not a part of the
-agreement. It is far too binding.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George’s face was grave and sad. Her action had
-given him a sharp thrust of painful disappointment, and
-he did his best not to hide it. Constance looked at him
-a moment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Am I not right?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are always right—even when you give me
-pain,” he answered with a shade of bitterness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have I given you pain now?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did you think, from the way I behaved, that I would
-let you kiss me for good-bye?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_144'>144</span>“You shall not say that I hurt you, and you shall not
-go away believing that I deceived you,” said Constance,
-coming back to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She put her two hands round his neck and drew down
-his willing face. Then she kissed him softly on both
-cheeks.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Forgive me,” she said. “I did not mean to hurt you.
-Good-bye—dear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George left the house feeling very happy, but persuaded
-that neither he nor any other man could ever
-understand the heart of woman, which, after all, seemed
-to be the only thing in the world worth understanding.
-He had ample time for reflection in the course of the
-summer, but without the reality before him the study of
-the problem grew more and more perplexing.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The weather grew very warm in the end of June, and
-George left New York. He had written much in the
-course of the year and had earned enough money to give
-himself a rest during the hot months. He tried to persuade
-his father to accompany him and to spend the time
-by the seaside while George himself made his promised
-visits. But Jonah Wood declared that he preferred New
-York in the summer and that nothing would induce him
-to waste money on such folly as travelling. To tell the
-truth, the old gentleman had grown accustomed to rigid
-economy in his little house in town, but he could not look
-forward with any pleasure to the discomforts of second-rate
-hotels in second-rate places. So George went away
-alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had already begun another book. He did not look
-upon his first effort in the light of a book at all, but he had
-tasted blood, and the thirst was upon him, and he must
-needs quench it. This time, however, he set himself
-steadily to work to do the very best he could, labouring
-to repress his own vivacity and trying to keep out of the
-fever that was threatening to carry him away outside of
-himself. He limited his work strictly to a small amount
-every day, polishing every sentence and thinking out
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_145'>145</span>every phrase before it was set down. Working in this
-way he had written about half a volume by the end of
-August, when he found himself in a pleasant country-house
-by the sea in the midst of a large party of people.
-He had all but forgotten his first book, and had certainly
-but a very dim recollection of what it contained. He
-looked back upon its feverish production as upon a sort
-of delirious dream during which he had raved in a language
-now strange to his memory.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>One afternoon, in the midst of a game of lawn-tennis,
-a telegram was brought to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Rob Roy and Co. publish book immediately England
-and America. Have undertaken that you accept royalty
-ten per cent retail advertised price. Wire reply. C. F.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George possessed a very considerable power of concealing
-his emotions, but this news was almost too much
-for his equanimity. He thrust the despatch into his
-pocket and went on playing, but he lost the game in a
-shameful fashion and was roundly abused by his cousin
-Mamie Trimm, who chanced to be his partner. Mamie
-and her mother were stopping in the same house, by what
-Mrs. Sherrington Trimm considered a rather unfortunate
-accident, since Mamie was far too fond of George already.
-In reality, the excellent hostess had an idea that George
-loved the girl, and as the match seemed most appropriate
-in her eyes, she had brought them together on purpose.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As soon as possible he slipped away, put on his flannel
-jacket and went to the telegraph office, reading the despatch
-he had received over and over again as he hurried
-along the path, and trying to compose his answer at the
-same time. Constance’s message seemed amazingly neat,
-business-like and concise, and he wondered whether some
-one else had not been concerned in the affair. The phrase
-about the royalty did not sound like a woman’s expression,
-though she might have copied it from the publisher’s
-letter.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George had formerly imagined that if his first performance
-were really in danger of being published, he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_146'>146</span>should do everything in his power to prevent such a
-catastrophe. He felt no such impulse now, however.
-Messrs. Rob Roy and Company were very serious people,
-great publishers, whose name alone gave a book a chance
-of success. They bore an exceptional reputation in the
-world of books, and George knew very well that they
-would not publish trash. But he was not elated by the
-news, however much surprised he might be. It was
-strange, indeed, that a firm of such good judgment should
-have accepted his novel, but it could not but be a failure,
-all the same. He would get the proofs as soon as possible,
-and he would do what he could to make the work
-decently presentable by inserting plentiful improvements.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>His answer to Constance’s telegram was short.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Deplore catastrophe. Pity public. Thank publisher.
-Agree terms. Where are proofs? G. W.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>By the time the proofs were ready, George was once
-more in New York, though Constance had not yet
-returned. He was hard at work upon his second book
-and looked with some disgust at the package of printed
-matter that lay folded as it had come, upon his table.
-Nevertheless he opened the bundle and looked at them.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Confound them!” he exclaimed. “They have sent
-me a paged proof instead of galleys!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was evident that he could not insert many changes,
-where the matter was already arranged in book form,
-and he anticipated endless annoyance in pasting in
-extensive “riders” of writing-paper in order to get room
-for the vast changes he considered necessary.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>An hour later he was lying back in his easy-chair
-reading his own novel with breathless interest. He had
-not yet made a correction of any kind in the text. It
-was not until the following day that he was able to go
-over it all more calmly, but even then, he found that
-little could be done to improve it. When he had finished,
-he sent the proofs back and wrote a letter to Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have read the book over,” he wrote, among other
-things, “and it is not so bad as I supposed. I know
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_147'>147</span>that it cannot be good, but I am convinced that worse
-novels have found their way into print, if not into
-notice. I take back at least one-tenth of all I said about
-it formerly, and I will not abuse it in the future, leaving
-that office to those who will doubtless command
-much forcible language in support of their just opinion.
-Am I to thank you, too? I hardly know. There are
-other things for which I would rather be in a position to
-owe you thanks. However, the die is cast, you have
-made a skipping-rope of the Rubicon and have whisked
-it under my feet without my consent. Let the poor book
-take its chance. Its birth was happy, may its death at
-least be peaceful.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To this Constance replied three weeks later.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad to see that a disposition to repentance has
-set in. You are wise in not abusing my book any more.
-You ought to be doing penance in sackcloth and ashes
-before that bench in Central Park on which I sat when I
-told you it was good. The children would all laugh at
-you, and throw stones at you, and I should be delighted.
-I am not coming to town until it is published and is a
-success. Grace thinks I have gone into speculations,
-because I get so many letters and telegrams about it. I
-shall not tell you what the people who read the manuscript
-said about it. You can find that out for yourself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George awoke one morning to find himself, if not
-famous, at least the topic of the day in more countries
-than one. A week had not elapsed before the papers
-were full of notices of his book and speculations as to
-his personality. No one seemed to consider that George
-Winton Wood, the novelist, could be the same man as
-G. W. Wood, the signer of modest articles in the magazines.
-The first review called him an unknown person
-of surprising talent, the second did not hesitate to
-describe him as a man of genius, and the third—branded
-him as a plagiarist who had stolen his plot from
-a forgotten novel of the beginning of the century and
-had somehow—this was not clear in the article—made
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_148'>148</span>capital out of the writings of Macrobius, he was a villain,
-a poacher, a pickpocket novelist, a literary body-snatcher,
-in fact in the eyes of all but the over-lax law,
-little short of a thief. George knew that sort of style,
-and he read the abuse over again and again with unmitigated
-delight. He had done as much himself in the
-good old days when the editors would let him. He did
-not show this particular notice to his father, however,
-and only handed him those that were favourable—and
-they were many. Jonah Wood sat reading them all day
-long, over and over again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad, George,” he said, repeatedly. “I
-am very proud of you. It is splendid. But do you
-think all this will bring you much pecuniary remuneration?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Ten per cent on the advertised retail price of each
-copy,” was George’s answer.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He entered the railway station one day and was amazed
-to see the walls of the place covered with huge placards,
-three feet square, bearing the name of his book and his
-own, alternately, in huge black letters on a white ground.
-The young man at the bookstall was doing a thriving
-business. George went up to him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That book seems to sell,” he said quietly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Like hot cakes,” answered the vendor, offering him
-his own production. “One dollar twenty-five cents.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you,” said George. “I would not give so
-much for a novel.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, there are others will, I guess,” answered the
-young man. “Step aside if you please and give these
-ladies a chance.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George smiled and turned away.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_149'>149</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XI.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Sherrington Trimm had kept Mr. Craik’s secret as
-well as he could, but although he had not told his wife
-anything positive concerning the will that had been so
-hastily drawn up, he had found it impossible not to convey
-to Totty such information about the matter as was
-manifestly negative. She had seen very soon that he
-considered the inheritance of her brother’s money as an
-illusion, upon which he placed no faith whatever, and
-she had understood that in advising her not to think too
-much about it, he meant to do more than administer one
-of his customary rebukes to her covetousness. At last,
-she determined to know the truth and pressed him with
-the direct question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So far as I know, my dear,” he answered, gravely,
-“you will never get that money, so you may just as well
-put the subject out of your mind, and be satisfied with
-what you have.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Neither diplomacy nor cajolery nor reproaches could
-force anything more definite than this from Sherrington
-Trimm’s discreet lips, though Totty used all her weapons,
-and used them very cleverly, in her untiring efforts
-to find out the truth. Was Tom going to leave his gold
-to a gigantic charity? Sherry’s round, pink face grew
-suddenly stony. Was it a hospital or an asylum for
-idiots?—he really might tell her! His expression never
-changed. Totty was in despair, and her curiosity tormented
-her in a way that would have done credit to the
-gad-fly which tortured Io of old. Neither by word, nor
-look, nor deed could Sherry be made to betray his
-brother-in-law’s secret. He was utterly impenetrable,
-as soon as the subject was brought up, and Totty even
-fancied that he knew beforehand when she was about to
-set some carefully-devised trap for him, so ready was he
-to oppose her wiles.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_150'>150</span>On the other hand since old Mr. Craik had recovered,
-his sister had shown herself more than usually anxious
-to please him. In this she argued as her husband had
-done, saying that a man who had changed his will once
-might very possibly change it again. She therefore
-spared no pains in consulting Tom’s pleasure whenever
-occasion offered, and she employed her best tact in making
-his life agreeable to him. He, on his part, was even
-more diverted than she intended that he should be, and
-he watched all her moves with inward amusement.
-There had never been any real sympathy between them.
-He had been the first child, and several others had died
-in infancy during a long series of years, Totty, the
-youngest of all, alone surviving, separated from her
-brother in age by nearly twenty years. From her childhood,
-she had always been trying to get something from
-him, and whenever the matters in hand did not chance
-to clash with his own interests, he had granted her
-request. Indeed, on the whole, and considering the
-man’s grasping character, he had treated her with great
-generosity. Totty’s gratitude, however, though always
-sincere, was systematically prophetic in regard to favours
-to come, and Tom had often wondered whether anything
-in the world would satisfy her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Of late she seemed to have developed an intense interest
-in the means of prolonging life, and she did not fail
-to give him the benefit of all the newest theories on the
-subject. Tom, however, did not feel that he was going
-to die, and was more and more irritated by her officious
-suggestions. One day she took upon herself to be more
-than usually pressing. He had been suffering from a
-slight cold, and she had passed an anxious week.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is nothing for you, Tom,” she said, “but a
-milk cure and massage. They say there is nothing like
-it. It is perfectly wonderful——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her brother raised his bent head and looked keenly at
-her, while a sour smile passed over his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Look here, Totty,” he answered, “don’t you think I
-should keep better in camphor?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_151'>151</span>“How can you be so unkind!” exclaimed Totty, blushing
-scarlet. She rarely blushed at all, and her brother’s
-amusement increased, until it reached its climax and
-broke out in a hard, rattling laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>After this, Mrs. Trimm grew more cautious. She
-talked less of remedies and cures and practised with
-great care a mournfully sympathetic expression. In the
-course of a week or two this plan also began to wear
-upon Craik’s nerves, for she made a point of seeing him
-almost every day.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I say, Totty,” he said suddenly. “If anybody is
-dead, tell me. If you think anybody is going to die,
-send for the doctor. But if they are all alive and well,
-don’t go round looking like an undertaker’s wife when
-the season has been too healthy.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How can you expect me to look gay?” Totty asked
-with a sad smile. “Do you think it makes me happy to
-see you going on in this way?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Which way?” inquired Mr. Craik with a pleased
-grin.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why, you won’t have massage, and you won’t take
-the milk cure, and you won’t go to Aix, and you won’t
-let me do anything for you, and—and I’m so unhappy!
-Oh Tom, how unkind you are!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thereupon Mrs. Trimm burst into tears with much
-feeling. Tom Craik looked at her for some seconds and
-then, being in his own house, rang the bell, sent for the
-housekeeper and a bottle of salts, and left Totty to
-recover as best she might. He knew very well that
-those same tears were genuine and that they had their
-source in anger and disappointment rather than in any
-sympathy for himself, and he congratulated himself upon
-having changed his will in time.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The old man watched George Wood’s increasing success
-with an interest that would have surprised the
-latter, if he had known anything of it. It seemed as if,
-by assuring him the reversion of the fortune, Tom Craik
-had given him a push in the right direction. Since that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_152'>152</span>time, indeed, George’s luck had begun to turn, and now,
-though still unconscious of the wealth that awaited him,
-he was already far on the road to celebrity and independence.
-The lonely old man of business found a new
-and keen excitement in following the doings of the young
-fellow for whom he had secretly prepared such an overwhelming
-surprise. He was curious to see whether
-George would lose his head, whether he would turn into
-the fatuous idol of afternoon tea-parties, or whether he
-would fall into vulgar dissipation, whether he would
-quarrel with his father as soon as he was independent,
-or whether he would spend his earnings in making the
-old gentleman more comfortable.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Tom Craik cared very little what George did, provided
-he did something. What he most regretted was that he
-could not possibly be present to enjoy the surprise he
-had planned. It amused him to think out the details of
-his future. If, for instance, George took to drinking
-and gambling, losing and wasting at night what he had
-laboured hard to earn during the day, what a moment
-that would be in his life when he should be told that
-Tom Craik was dead, and that he was master of a great
-fortune. The old man chuckled over the idea, and
-fancied he could see George’s face when, having lost
-more than he could possibly pay, his young eyes heavy
-with wine, his hand trembling with excitement, he would
-be making his last desperate stand at poker in the quiet
-upper room of a gambling club. He would lose his
-nerve, show his cards, lose and sink back in his chair
-with a stare of horror. At that moment the door would
-open and Sherry Trimm would come in and whisper a
-few words in his ear. Tom Craik liked to imagine the
-young fellow’s bound of surprise, the stifled cry of
-amazement that would escape from his lips, the doubts,
-the fears that would beset him until the money was
-his, and then the sudden cure that would follow. Yes,
-thought Tom, there was no such cure for a spendthrift
-as a fortune, a real fortune. To make a man love money,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_153'>153</span>give it to him all at once in vast quantities—provided
-he is not a fool. And George was no fool. He had
-already proved that.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was something satanic in Mr. Craik’s speculations.
-He knew the world well. It amused him to
-fancy George, admired and courted as a literary lion,
-but feared by all judicious mammas, as only young, poor
-and famous literary lions are feared. How the sentimental
-young ladies would crowd about him and offer
-him tea, cake and plots for his novels! And how the
-ring of mothers would draw their daughters away from
-him and freeze him with airs politely cold! How two
-or three would be gathered together in one corner of the
-room to say to each other that two or three others in the
-opposite corner were foolishly exposing their daughters
-to the charms of an adventurer, for his books bring him
-in nothing, my dear, not a cent—Mr. Popples told me
-so! And how the compliment would be returned upon
-the two or three, by the other two or three, with usurious
-compound interest. Enter to them, thought Craik,
-another of their tribe—what do you think, my dears?
-Tom Craik left all that money to George Wood, house,
-furniture, pictures, horses and carriages—everything!
-Just think! I really must go and speak to the dear
-fellow! And how they would all be impelled, at the
-same moment, by the same charitable thought! How
-they would all glide forward, during the next quarter of
-an hour, impatient to thaw with intimacy what they had
-lately wished to freeze with politeness, and how, a little
-later, each would say to her lovely daughter as they
-went home—you know Georgey Wood—for it would be
-Georgey at once—is such a good fellow, so famous and
-yet so modest, so unassuming when you think how
-enormously rich he is. Is he rich, mamma? Why,
-yes, Kitty—or Totty, or Dottie, or Hattie, or Nelly—he
-has all Tom Craik’s money, and that gem of a house
-to live in, and the pictures and everything, and your
-cousin—or your aunt—Totty is furious about it—but
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_154'>154</span>he is such a nice fellow. There would not be much
-difficulty about getting a wife for the “nice fellow”
-then, thought Thomas Craik.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And one or other of these things might have actually
-happened, precisely as Thomas Craik foresaw if that
-excellent and worthy man, Sherrington Trimm had not
-unexpectedly fallen ill during the spring that followed
-George Wood’s first success. His illness was severe and
-was undoubtedly caused by too much hard work, and was
-superinduced by a moderate but unchanging taste for
-canvas-backs, truffles boiled in madeira and an especial
-brand of brut champagne. Sherry recovered, indeed,
-but was ordered to Carlsbad in Bohemia without delay.
-Totty found that it was quite impossible for her to
-accompany him, considering the precarious state of her
-brother’s health. To leave Tom at such a time would
-be absolutely heartless. Sherrington Trimm expressed
-a belief that Tom would last through the summer and
-perhaps through several summers, as he never did a
-stroke of work and was as wiry as hairpins. He might
-have added that his brother-in-law did not subsist upon
-cryptograms and brut wines, but Sherry resolutely avoided
-suggesting to himself that the daily consumption of
-those delicacies was in any way connected with his late
-illness. His wife, however, shook her head, and quoting
-glibly three or four medical authorities, assured him
-that Tom’s state was very far from satisfactory. Mamie
-might go with her father, if she pleased, but Totty
-would not leave the sinking ship.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Till the rats leave it,” added Mr. Trimm viciously.
-His wife gave him a mournfully severe glance and left
-him to make his preparations.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So he went abroad, and was busy for some time with
-the improvement of his liver and the reduction of his
-superfluous fat, and John Bond managed the business in
-his stead. John Bond was a very fine fellow and did
-well whatever he undertook, so that Mr. Trimm felt no
-anxiety about their joint affairs. John himself was delighted
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_155'>155</span>to have an opportunity of showing what he could
-do and he looked forward to marrying Grace Fearing in
-the summer, considering that his position was now sufficiently
-assured. He was far too sensible a man to have
-any scruples about taking a rich wife while he himself
-was poor, but he was too independent to live upon Grace’s
-fortune, and as she was so young he had put off the wedding
-until he felt that he was making enough money to
-have all that he wanted for himself without her aid.
-When they were married she could do what she pleased
-without consulting him, and he would do as he liked
-without asking her advice or assistance. He considered
-that marriage could not be happy where either of the
-couple was dependent upon the other for necessities or
-luxuries, and that domestic peace depended largely on
-the exclusion of all monetary transactions between man
-and wife. John Bond was a typical man of his class,
-tall, fair, good-looking, healthy, active, energetic and
-keen. He had never had a day’s illness nor an hour’s
-serious annoyance. He had begun life in the right way,
-at the right end and in a cheerful spirit. There was no
-morbid sentimentality about him, no unnecessary development
-of the imagination, no nervousness, no shyness,
-no underrating of other people and no overrating of himself.
-He knew he could never be great or famous, and
-that he could only be John Bond as long as he lived.
-John Bond he would be, then, and nothing else, but John
-Bond should come to mean a great deal before he had
-done with the name. It should mean the keenest, most
-hardworking, most honest, most reliable, most clean-handed
-lawyer in the city of New York. There was a
-breezy atmosphere of truth, soap and enterprise about
-John Bond.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Before going abroad Sherrington Trimm asked Tom
-Craik whether he should tell his junior partner of the
-existence of a will in favour of George Wood. Mr. Craik
-hesitated before he answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, Sherry,” he said at last, “considering the uncertainty
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_156'>156</span>of human life, as Totty says, and considering
-that you are more used to Extra Dry than to Carlsbad
-waters, you had better tell him. There is no knowing
-what tricks that stuff may play with you. Let it be in
-confidence.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course,” said Mr. Trimm. “I would rather trust
-John Bond than trust myself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The same day he imparted the secret to his partner.
-The latter nodded gravely and then fell into a fit of
-abstraction which was very rare with him. He knew a
-great deal of the relations existing between Constance
-and George Wood, and in his frank, lawyer-like distrust
-of people’s motives, he had shared Grace’s convictions
-about the man, though he had always treated him with
-indifference and always avoided speaking of him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There are some people whose curiosity finds relief in
-asking questions, even though they obtain no answers to
-their inquiries. Totty was one of these, and she missed
-her husband more than she had thought possible. There
-had been a sort of satisfaction in tormenting him about
-the will, accompanied by a constant hope that he might
-one day forget his discretion in a fit of anger and let out
-the secret she so much desired to learn. Now, however,
-there was no one to cross-examine except Tom himself,
-and she would as soon have thought of asking him a
-direct question in the matter as of trying to make holes
-in a mill-stone with a darning-needle. Her curiosity
-had therefore no outlet and as her interest was so directly
-concerned at the same time, it is no wonder that she fell
-into a deplorably unsettled state of mind. For a long
-time not a ray of light illuminated the situation, and
-Totty actually began to grow thin under the pressure of
-her constant anxiety. At last she hit upon a plan for
-discovering the truth, so simple that she wondered how
-she had failed to think of it before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Nothing indeed could be more easy of execution than
-what she contemplated. Her husband kept in a desk in
-his room a set of duplicate keys to the deed boxes in his
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_157'>157</span>office. Among these there must be also the one that
-opened her brother’s box. These iron cases were kept
-in a strong room that opened into a small corridor between
-Sherrington Trimm’s private study and the outer
-rooms where the clerks worked. Totty had her own
-box there, separate from her husband’s and she remembered
-that there was one not far from hers on which was
-painted her brother’s name. She would have no difficulty
-in entering the strong room alone, on pretence of
-depositing a deed. Was she not the wife of the senior
-partner, and had she not often done the same thing
-before? If her brother had made a new will, it must be
-in that box, where he kept such papers as possessed only
-a legal value. One glance would show her all she wanted
-to know, and her mind would be at rest from the wearing
-anxiety that now made her life almost unbearable.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She opened the desk and had no difficulty in finding
-the key to her brother’s box. It was necessary to take
-something in the nature of a deed, to hold in her hand as
-an excuse for entering the strong room, for she did not
-want to take anything out of it, lest John Bond, who
-would see her, should chance to notice the fact and should
-mention it to her husband when he came back. On the
-other hand, it would not do to deposit an empty envelope,
-sealed and marked as though it contained something
-valuable. Mrs. Trimm never did things by halves nor
-was she ever so unwise as to leave traces of her tactics
-behind her. A palpable fraud like an empty envelope
-might at some future time be used against her. To take
-any document away from the office, even if she returned
-the next day, would be to expose herself to a cross-examination
-from Sherrington when he came home, for he
-knew the state of her affairs and would know also that
-she never needed to consult the papers she kept at the
-office. There was nothing for it but to have a real document
-of some sort. Totty sat down and thought the
-matter over for a quarter of an hour. Then she ordered
-her carriage and drove down town to the office of a broker
-who sometimes did business for her and her husband.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_158'>158</span>“I have made a bet,” she said, with a little laugh, “and
-I want you to help me to win it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The broker expressed his readiness to put the whole
-New York Stock Exchange at her disposal in five minutes,
-if that were of any use to her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” said Totty. “I have bet that I will buy a
-share in something—say for a hundred dollars—that I
-will keep it a year and that at the end of that time it
-will be worth more than I gave for it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“One way of winning the bet would be to buy several
-shares in different things and declare the winner afterwards.
-One of the lot will go up.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That would not be fair,” said Totty with a laugh. “I
-must say what it is I have bought. Can you give me
-something of the kind—now? I want to take it away
-with me, to show it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The broker went out and returned a few minutes later
-with what she wanted, a certificate of stock to the
-amount of one hundred dollars, in a well-known undertaking.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If anything has a chance, this has,” said the broker,
-putting it into an envelope and handing it to her. “Oh
-no, Mrs. Trimm—never mind paying for it!” he added
-with a careless laugh. “Give it back to me when you
-have done with it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But Totty preferred to pay her money, and did so
-before she departed. Ten minutes later she was at her
-husband’s office. Her heart beat a little faster as she
-asked John Bond to open the strong room for her. She
-hoped that something would happen to occupy him while
-she was within.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Let me help you,” he said, entering the place with
-her. The strong room was lighted from above by a small
-skylight over a heavy grating, the boxes being arranged
-on shelves around the walls. John Bond went straight
-to the one that belonged to Totty and moved it forward a
-little so that she could open it. She held her envelope
-ostentatiously in one hand and felt for her key in her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_159'>159</span>pocket with the other. She knew which was hers and
-which was her brother’s, because Tom’s had a label fastened
-to it, with his name, whereas her own had none.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thanks,” she said, as she turned the key in the lock
-and raised the lid. “Please do not stay here, Mr. Bond,
-I want to look over a lot of things so as to put this I have
-brought into the right place.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—if I cannot be of any use,” said John. “I
-have rather a busy day. Please call me to shut the room
-when you have finished.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty breathed more freely when she was alone. She
-could hear John cross the corridor and enter the private
-office. A moment later everything was quiet. With a
-quick, stealthy movement, she slipped the other key into
-the box labelled “T. Craik,” turned it and lifted the
-cover. Her heart was beating violently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Fortunately for her the will was the last paper that
-had been put with the others and lay on the top of them
-all. The heavy blue envelope was sealed and marked
-“Will,” with the date. Totty turned pale as she held it
-in her hands. She had not the slightest intention of
-destroying it, whatever it might contain, but even to
-break the seal and read it looked very like a criminal act.
-On the other hand, when she realised that she held in her
-hand the answer to all her questions, and that by a turn
-of the fingers she could satisfy all her boundless curiosity,
-she knew that it was of no use to attempt resistance in
-the face of such a temptation. She realised, indeed, that
-she would not be able to restore the seal, and that she
-must not hope to hide the fact that somebody had tampered
-with the will, but the thought could not deter her
-from carrying out her intention. As she turned, her
-sleeve caught on the corner of the box which she had
-inadvertently left open and the lid fell with a sharp snap.
-Instantly John Bond’s footstep was heard in the corridor.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty had barely time to withdraw the key from her
-brother’s box and to bury the will under her own papers
-when John entered the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_160'>160</span>“Oh!” he exclaimed in evident surprise, “I thought
-I heard you shut your box, and that you had finished.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” said Totty in an unsteady voice, bending her
-pale face over her documents. “The lid fell, but I
-opened it again. I will call you when I come out.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>John returned to his work without any suspicion of
-what had happened. Then Totty extracted a hairpin
-from the coils of her brown hair and tried to lift the seal
-of the will from the paper to which it was so firmly attached.
-But she only succeeded in damaging it. There
-was nothing to be done but to tear the envelope. Still
-using her hairpin she slit open one end of the cover and
-drew out the document.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When she knew the contents, her face expressed unbounded
-surprise. It had never entered her head that
-Tom could leave his money to George Wood of all people
-in the world.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What a fool I have been!” she exclaimed under her
-breath.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then she began to reflect upon the consequences of
-what she had done, and her curiosity being satisfied, her
-fears began to assume serious proportions. Was it a
-criminal act that she had committed? She gazed rather
-helplessly at the torn envelope. It would be impossible
-to restore it. It would be equally impossible to put the
-will back into the box, loose and unsealed, without her
-husband’s noticing the fact the next time he had occasion
-to look into Tom Craik’s papers. He would remember
-very well that he had sealed it and marked it on the
-outside. The envelope, at least, must disappear at once.
-She crumpled it into as small a compass as possible and
-put it into her jacket. It would be very simple to burn
-it as soon as she was at home. But how to dispose of
-the will itself was a much harder matter. She dared not
-destroy that also, for that might turn out to be a deliberate
-theft, or fraud, or whatever the law called such
-deeds. On the other hand, her brother might ask for it
-at any time and if it were not in the box it could not be
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_161'>161</span>forthcoming, and her husband would get into trouble. It
-would be easy for Tom to suspect that Sherrington Trimm
-had destroyed the will, in order that his wife, as next of
-kin and only heir-at-law should get the fortune. She
-thought that, as it was, Tom had shown an extraordinary
-belief in human nature, though when she thought of her
-husband’s known honesty she understood that nobody
-could mistrust him. He himself would doubtless be the
-first to discover the loss. What would he do? He would
-go to Tom and make him execute a duplicate of the
-will that was lost. Meanwhile, and in case Tom died
-before Sherrington came back, Totty could put the original
-in some safe place, where she could cause it to be
-found if necessary—behind one of those boxes, for instance,
-or in some corner of the strong room. Nothing
-that was locked up between those four walls could ever
-be lost. If Tom died, she would of course be told that
-a will had been made and was missing. John Bond would
-come to her in great distress, and she would come down
-to the office and help in the search. The scheme did not
-look very diplomatic, but she was sure that there was
-nothing else to be done. It was the only way in which
-she could avoid committing a crime while avoiding also
-the necessity of confessing to her husband that she had
-committed an act of supreme folly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She folded the paper together and looked about the
-small room for a place in which to hide it. As she was
-looking she thought she heard John Bond’s step again.
-She had no time to lose for she would not be able to get
-rid of him if he entered the strong room a third time.
-To leave it on one of the shelves would be foolish, for it
-might be found at any time. She could see no chink or
-crack into which to drop it, and John was certainly coming.
-Totty in her desperation thrust the paper into the
-bosom of her dress, shut up her own box noisily and
-went out.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She thought that John Bond looked at her very curiously
-when she went away, though the impression might
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_162'>162</span>well be the result of her own guilty fears. As a matter
-of fact he was surprised by her extreme pallor and was
-on the point of asking if she were ill. But he reflected
-that the strong room was a chilly place and that she
-might be only feeling cold, and he held his tongue.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The paper seemed to burn her, and she longed to be
-in her own house where she could at least lock it up
-until she could come to some wise decision in regard to
-it. She leaned back in her carriage in an agony of nervous
-fear. What if John Bond should chance to be the
-one who made the discovery? He probably knew of the
-existence of the will, and he very probably had seen it
-and knew where it was. It was strange that she had
-not thought of that. If, for instance, it happened that
-he needed to look at some of her brother’s papers that
-very day, would he not notice the loss and suspect her?
-After all, he knew as well as any one what she had to
-gain by destroying the will, if he knew what it contained.
-How much better it would have been to put it
-back in its place even without the envelope! How
-much better anything would be than to feel that she
-might be found out by John Bond!</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She was already far up town, but in her distress she
-did not recognise her whereabouts, and leaning forward
-slightly looked through the window. As fate would
-have it, the only person near the carriage in the street
-was George Wood, who had recognised it and was trying
-to get a glimpse of herself. When he saw her, he bowed
-and smiled, just as he always did. Totty nodded hastily
-and fell back into her seat. A feeling of sickening
-despair came over her, and she closed her eyes.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_163'>163</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George Wood’s reputation spread rapidly. He had
-arrested the attention of the public, and the public was
-both ready and willing to be amused by him. He had
-finished the second of his books soon after the appearance
-of the first, and he had found no difficulty in selling
-the manuscript outright upon his own terms. It was
-published about the time when the events took place
-which have been described in the last chapter, and it
-obtained a wide success. It was, indeed, wholly different
-from its predecessor in character and presented a strong
-contrast to it. The first had been full of action, passionate,
-strange, unlike the books of the day. The
-second was the result of much thought and lacked almost
-altogether the qualities that had given such phenomenal
-popularity to the first. It was a calm book, almost
-destitute of plot and of dramatic incidents. It had been
-polished and adorned to the best of the young writer’s
-ability, he had put into it the most refined of his thoughts,
-he had filled it with the sayings of characters more than
-half ideal. He had believed in it while he was writing
-it, but he was disappointed with it when it was finished.
-He had intended to bind together a nosegay of sweet-scented
-flowers about a central rose, and when he had
-finished, his nosegay seemed to him artificial, the blossoms
-looked to him as though they were without stems,
-tied to dry sticks, and the scent of them had no freshness
-for his nostrils. Nevertheless he knew that he had
-given to his work all that he possessed of beauty and
-refinement in the storehouse of his mind, and he looked
-upon the venture as final in deciding his future career.
-It is worse to meet with failure on the publication of a
-second book, when the first has taken the world by surprise,
-than it is to fail altogether at the very beginning.
-Many a polished scholar has produced one good volume;
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_164'>164</span>many a refined and spiritual intelligence has painted one
-lovely scene and dropped the brushes for ever, or taken
-them up only to blotch and blur incongruous colours
-upon a spiritless outline, searching with blind eyes for
-the light that shone but once and can never shine again.
-Many have shot one arrow in the air and have hit the
-central mark, whose fingers scarce knew how to hold the
-bow. The first trial is one of half-reasoned, half-inspired
-talent; the second shows the artist’s hand; the third
-and all that follow are works done in the competition
-between master and master, to which neither apprentice
-nor idle lover of the art can be admitted. He whose
-first great effort has been successful, and whose second
-disappoints no one but himself, may safely feel that he
-has found out his element and known his own strength.
-He will perhaps turn out only a dull master at his craft
-as years go on, or he may be but a second-rate artist, but
-his apprenticeship has been completed and he will henceforth
-be judged by the same standard as other artists and
-masters.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood had followed his own instinct in lavishing
-so much care and thought and pains upon the book that
-was now to appear, and his instinct had not deceived him,
-though when he saw the result he feared that he had
-made the great false step that is irretrievable. Though
-many were ready to accept his work on any terms he
-was pleased to name, yet he held back his manuscript for
-many weeks, hesitating to give it to the world. The
-memory of his first enthusiasms blended in his mind with
-the beauties of tales yet untold and darkened in his eyes
-the polish of the present work. Constance admired it
-exceedingly, saying that, although nothing could ever be
-to her like the first, this was so different in every way,
-and yet so good, that no unpleasant comparisons could
-be made between the two. Then George took it to Johnson
-who kept it a long time and would give no opinion
-about it until he had read every word it contained.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This settles it,” he said at last.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_165'>165</span>“For better or for worse?” George asked, looking at
-the pale young man’s earnest face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“For better,” Johnson answered without hesitation.
-“You are a novelist. It is not so broad as a church-door,
-nor so deep as a well—but it will serve. You
-will never regret having published it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So the book went to the press and in due time appeared,
-was tasted, criticised and declared to be good by a majority
-of judges, was taken up by the public, was discussed,
-liked and obtained a large sale. George was congratulated
-by all his friends in terms of the greatest enthusiasm
-and he received so many invitations to dinner as
-made him feel that either his digestion or his career, or
-both, must perish in the attempt to cope with them.
-The dinner-party of to-day, considered as the reward of
-merit and the expression of good feeling, is no novelty
-in the history of the world’s society. Little Benjamin
-was expected to eat twelve times as much as any of his
-big brothers because Joseph liked him, and the successful
-man of to-day is often treated with the same kindly,
-though destructive liberality. No one would think it
-enough to ask him to tea and overwhelm him with the
-praises of a select circle of fashionable people. He must
-be made to eat in order that he may understand from the
-fulness of his own stomach the fulness of his admirer’s
-heart. To heap good things upon the plate of genius
-has been in all times considered the most practical way
-of expressing the public admiration—and in times not
-long past there was indeed a practical reason for such
-expression of goodwill, in that genius was liable to be
-very hungry even after it had been universally acknowledged.
-The world has more than once bowed down from
-a respectful distance, to the possessor of a glorious intelligence,
-who in his heart would have preferred a solid
-portion of bread and cheese to the perishable garlands of
-flowers scattered at his feet, or to the less corruptible
-monuments of bronze and stone upon which his countrymen
-were ready to lavish their gold after he was dead of
-starvation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_166'>166</span>A change has come over the world of late, and it may
-be that writers themselves have been the cause of it. It
-is certain that since those who live by the pen have made
-it their business to amuse rather than to admonish and
-instruct their substance has been singularly increased
-and their path has been made enviably smooth. Their
-shadows not only wax and follow the outlines of a pleasant
-rotundity, but they are cast upon marble pavements,
-inlaid floors and Eastern carpets, instead of upon the
-dingy walls and greasy mud of Grub Street. The star
-of the public amuser is in the ascendant, and his “Part
-of Fortune” is high in the mid-heaven.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It has been said that nothing succeeds like success,
-and George very soon began to find out the truth of the
-saying. He was ignorant of the strange possibilities of
-wealth that were in store for him, and the present was
-sufficient for all his desires, and far exceeded his former
-hopes. The days were gone by when he had looked
-upon his marriage with Constance Fearing as a delicious
-vision that could never be realised, and to contemplate
-which, even without hope, seemed to be a dangerous
-piece of presumption. He had now a future before him,
-brilliant, perhaps, but assuredly honourable and successful.
-At his age and with his health and strength the
-possibility of his being broken down by overwork or
-illness did not present itself to him, and, if it had, he
-could very well have afforded to disregard it in making
-his calculations. The world’s face showed him one
-glorious catalogue of hopes and he felt that he was the
-man to realise them all.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And now, too, the first of May was approaching again
-and he looked forward to receiving a final answer from
-Constance. Her manner had changed little towards him
-during the winter, but he thought that little had been
-for the better. He never doubted, now, that she was
-most sincerely attached to him nor that it depended on
-anything but her own fancy, to give a name to that
-attachment and call it love. Surely the trial had lasted
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_167'>167</span>long enough, surely she must know her own mind now,
-after so many months of waiting. It was two years
-since he had first told her that he loved her, a year had
-passed away since she had admitted that she loved him
-a little, and now the second year, the one she had asked
-for as a period of probation had spent itself likewise,
-bringing with it for George the first great success of his
-life and doubling, trebling his chances of happiness.
-His growing reputation was a bond between them, of
-which they had forged every link together. Her praise
-had stimulated his strength, her delicate and refined
-taste had often guided the choice of his thoughts, his
-power of language had found words for what was in the
-hearts of both. George could no more fancy himself as
-working without consulting Constance than he could
-imagine what life would be without sight or hearing.
-Her charm was upon him and penetrated all he did, her
-beauty was the light by which he saw other women, her
-voice the music that made harmony of all other sounds.
-He loved her now, as women have rarely been loved, for
-love had taken root in his noble and generous nature, as
-a rare seed in a virgin soil, beautiful from the first and
-gaining beauty as it grew in strength and fulness of
-proportion. His heart had never been disturbed before,
-by anything resembling true passion, there were no
-reminiscences to choke the new growth, no dry and
-withered stems about which the new love must twine
-itself until its spreading leaves and clasping tendrils
-made a rich foliage to cover the dead tree. He, she,
-the world, love, reputation, were all young together, all
-young and fresh, and full of the power to grow. To
-think that the prospect of such happiness should be
-blighted, the hope of such perfect bliss disappointed
-was beyond the power of George’s imagination.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The time was drawing near when he was to have his
-answer. He had often done violence to himself of late
-in abstaining from all question of her love. Earlier in
-the year he had once or twice returned to his old way of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_168'>168</span>talking with her, but she had seemed displeased and had
-put him off, answering that the first of May was time
-enough and that she would tell him then. He had no
-means of knowing what was passing in her mind, for she
-was almost always the same Constance he had known so
-long, gentle, sympathising, ready with encouragement,
-enthusiastic concerning what he did well, suggestive
-when he was in doubt, thoughtful when his taste did not
-agree with hers. Looking back upon those long months
-of intimacy George knew that she had never bound herself,
-never uttered a promise of any sort, never directly
-given him to understand that she would consent to be
-his wife. And yet her whole life seemed to him to
-have been one promise since he had known her and it
-was treason, in his judgment, to suspect her of insincerity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In the last days of April, he saw less of her than
-usual, though he could scarcely tell why. More than
-once, when he had hoped to find her alone, there had
-been visitors with her, or her sister had been present,
-and he had not been able to exchange a word with her
-without being overheard. Indeed, when Grace was
-established in the room he generally made his visits as
-short as possible. There was something in the atmosphere
-of the house, too, that filled him with evil
-forebodings. Constance often seemed abstracted and
-preoccupied; there appeared to be a better understanding
-between the sisters in regard to himself than formerly,
-and Grace’s manner had changed. In the old days of
-their acquaintance she had taken little pains to conceal
-her dislike after she had once made up her mind that
-George loved her sister, her greeting had been almost
-haughty, her words had been few and generally ironical,
-her satisfaction at his departure needlessly apparent.
-During the last month she had relaxed the severity of
-her behaviour, instead of treating him more harshly as
-he had expected and secretly hoped. With the unerring
-instinct of a man who loves deeply, concerning every
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_169'>169</span>one except the object of his love, George had read the
-signs of the times in the face of his old enemy, and
-distrusted her increasing benignity. She, at least, had
-come to the conclusion that Constance would not marry
-him, and seeing that the necessity for destruction was
-decreasing, she allowed the sun of her smiles to penetrate
-the dark storm-clouds of her sullen anger. George
-would have preferred any convulsion of the elements to
-this threatened calm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance Fearing was in great distress of mind. She
-had not forgotten the date, nor had she any intention of
-letting it pass without fulfilling her engagement and
-giving George the definite answer he had so patiently
-expected. The difficulty was, to know what that answer
-should be. Her indecision could not be ascribed to her
-indolence in studying the question. It had been constantly
-before her, demanding immediate solution and
-tormenting her with its difficulties throughout many
-long months. Her conscientious love of truth had forced
-her to examine it much more closely than she would
-have chosen to do had she yielded to her inclinations.
-Her own happiness was no doubt vitally concerned, but
-the consideration of absolute loyalty and honesty must
-be first and before all things. The tremendous importance
-of the conclusion now daily more imminent appalled
-her and frightened her out of her simplicity into the
-mazes of a vicious logic; and she found the labyrinth of
-her difficulties further complicated in that its ways were
-intersected by the by-paths of her religious meditations.
-When her reason began to grow clear, she suddenly
-found it opposed to some one of a set of infallible rules
-by which she had undertaken to guide her whole existence.
-To-day she prayed to heaven, and grace was
-given her to marry George. To-morrow she would examine
-her heart and ascertain that she could never love
-him as he deserved. Could she marry him when he was
-to give so much and she had so little to offer? That
-would be manifestly wrong; but in that case why had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_170'>170</span>her prayer seemed to be answered so distinctly by an
-impulse from the heart? She was evidently not in a
-state of grace, since she was inspired to do what was
-wrong. Selfishness must be at the bottom of it, and
-selfishness, as it was the sin about which she knew most,
-was the one within her comprehension which she the
-most sincerely abhorred. But if her impulse to marry
-George was selfish, was it not the direct utterance of
-her heart, and might this not be the only case in life in
-which she might frankly follow her own wishes? George
-loved her most truly. If she felt that she wished to
-marry him, was it not because she loved him? There
-was the point, again, confronting her just where she had
-begun the round of self-torture. Did she love him?
-What was the test of true love? Would she die for
-him? Dying for people was theatrical and out of fashion,
-as she had often been told. It was much more noble
-to live for those one loved than to die for them. Could
-she live for George? What did the words mean? Had
-she not lived for him, said her heart, during the last
-year, if not longer? What nonsense, exclaimed her
-reason—as if giving a little encouragement and a great
-deal of advice could be called living for a man! It meant
-more than that, it meant so much to her that she felt sure
-she could never accomplish it. Therefore she did not
-love him, and it must all come to an end at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She reproached herself bitterly for her weakness that
-had lasted so long. She was a mere flirt, a heartless girl
-who had ruined a man’s life and happiness recklessly,
-because she did not know her own mind. She would be
-brave now, at last, before it was quite too late. She
-would confess her fault and tell him how despicable she
-thought herself, how she repented of her evil ways,
-how she would be his best and firmest friend, his sister,
-anything that she could be to him, except his wife. He
-would be hurt, pained, heartbroken for a while, but he
-would see how much better it had been to speak the truth.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But in the midst of her passionate self-accusation, the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_171'>171</span>thought of her own state after she should have put him
-away for ever, presented itself with painful distinctness.
-Whether she loved him or not, he was a part of her life
-and she felt that she could not do without him. For one
-moment she allowed herself to think of his face if she
-told him that she consented to their union at last, she
-could see the happy smile she loved so well and hear the
-vibrating tones of the voice that moved her more than
-other voices. Then, to her inexpressible shame, there
-arose before her visions of another kind, and notably the
-face of Johnson, the hardworking critic. All at once
-George seemed to be surrounded by a host of people
-whom she did not know and whom she did not want to
-know, men whom, as she remembered to have thought
-before, she would not have wished to see at her table,
-yet friends of his, faithful friends—Johnson was one at
-least—to whom he owed much and whom he would not
-allow to slip out of his existence because he had married
-Constance Fearing. She blushed scarlet, though she
-was alone, and passionate tears of anger at herself burst
-from her eyes. To think of that miserable consideration,
-she must be the most contemptible of women. Truly, the
-baseness of the human heart was unfathomable and shore-less
-as the ocean of space itself! Truly, she did not love
-him, if she could think such thoughts, and she must tell
-him so, cost what it might.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The last night came, preceding the day on which she had
-promised to give him her decisive answer. She had
-written him a word to say that he was expected, and she
-sat down in her own room to fight the struggle over again
-for the last time. The morrow was to decide, she thought,
-and yet it was impossible to come to any conclusion. Why
-had she not set the period at two years instead of one?
-Surely, in twelve months more she would have known
-her own mind, or at least have seen what course to pursue.
-Step by step she advanced once more into the sea
-of her difficulties, striving to keep her intelligence free
-from prejudice, and yet hoping that her heart would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_172'>172</span>speak clearly. But it was of no use, the labyrinth was
-more confused than ever, the light less, and her strength
-more unsteady. If she thought, it seemed as though her
-thoughts would drive her mad, if she prayed, her prayers
-were confused and senseless.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I cannot marry him, I cannot, I cannot!” she cried
-at last, utterly worn out with fatigue and anxiety.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She threw herself upon her pillows and tried to rest,
-while her own words still rang in her ears. She slept a
-little and she uttered the same cry in her sleep. By force
-of conscious and unconscious repetition of the phrase, it
-became mechanised and imposed itself upon her will.
-When the morning broke, she knew that she had resolved
-not to marry George Wood, and that her resolution
-was irrevocable.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To tell him so was a very different matter. She grew
-cold as she thought of the scene that was before her, and
-became conscious that her nerves were not equal to such
-a strain. She fancied that the decision she had reached
-had been the result of her strength in her struggle with
-herself. In reality she had succumbed to her own weakness
-and had abandoned the contest, feeling that it was
-easier to do anything negative rather than to commit herself
-to a bondage from which she might some day wish
-to escape when it should be too late. With a little more
-firmness of character she would have been able to shake
-off her doubts and to see that she really loved George
-very sincerely, and that to hesitate was to sacrifice everything
-to a morbid fear of offending her now over-delicate
-conscience. Even now, if she could have known herself,
-she would have realised that she had by no means given
-up all love for the man who loved her, nor all expectation
-of ultimately becoming his wife. She would have
-behaved very differently if she had been sure that she
-was burning her ships and cutting off all possibility of a
-return, or if she had known the character of the man
-with whom she had to deal. She had passed through a
-sort of nervous crisis, and her resolution was in the main,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_173'>173</span>a concession to her desire to gain time. In making it she
-had thrown down her arms and given up the fight. The
-reaction that followed made it seem impossible for her
-to face such a scene as must ensue.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At first it struck her that the best way of getting out
-of the difficulty would be to write to George and tell him
-her decision in as few words as possible, begging him to
-come and see her a week later, when she would do her
-best to explain to him the many and good reasons which
-had contributed to the present result. This idea, however,
-she soon abandoned. It would seem most unkind
-to deal such a blow so suddenly and then expect him to
-wait so long before enlightening him further upon the
-subject. Face him herself, she could not. She might be
-weak, she thought, and she was willing to admit it; it
-was only to add another unworthiness to the long list
-with which she was ready to accuse herself. She could
-not, and she would not tell George herself. The only
-person who could undertake to bear her message was
-Grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She felt very kindly disposed to Grace, that morning.
-There was a satisfaction in feeling that she could think
-of any one without the necessity of considering the question
-of her marriage. Besides, Grace had opposed her
-increasing liking for George from the beginning, and had
-warned her that she would never marry him. Grace had
-been quite right, and as Constance was feeling particularly
-humble just then, she thought it would be agreeable
-to her pride, if she confessed the superiority of Grace’s
-judgment. She could accuse herself before her sister of
-all her misdeeds without the fear of witnessing George’s
-violent grief. Moreover it would be better for George,
-too, since, he would be obliged to contain himself when
-speaking to her sister as he would certainly not control
-his feelings in an interview with herself. To be short,
-Constance was willing in that moment to be called a
-coward, rather than face the man she had wronged. Her
-courage had failed her altogether and she was being carried
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_174'>174</span>rapidly down stream from one concession to another,
-while still trying to give an air of rectitude and self-sacrifice
-to all her actions. She was preparing an abyss
-of well-merited self-contempt for herself in the future,
-though her present satisfaction in her release from responsibility
-had dulled her real sense of right and
-had left only the artificialities of her morbid conscience
-still sensitive to the flattery of imaginary self-sacrifice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>An hour later she was alone with her sister. She had
-greeted her in an unusually affectionate way on entering
-the room, and the younger girl immediately felt that
-something had taken place. She herself was smiling,
-and cordial in her manner.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Grace, dearest,” Constance began, after some little
-hesitation, “I want to tell you. You have talked so
-much about Mr. Wood—you know, you have always
-been afraid that I would marry him, have you not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not lately,” answered Grace with a pleasant smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—do you know? I have thought very seriously
-of it, and I had decided to give him a definite answer to-day.
-Do you understand? I have treated him abominably,
-Grace—oh, I am so sorry! I wish it could all be
-undone—you were so right!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not too late,” observed Grace. Then, seeing
-that there were tears in her sister’s eyes, she drew nearer
-to her and put her arm round her waist in a comforting
-way. “Do not be so unhappy, Conny,” she said in a tone
-of deep sympathy. “Men do not break their hearts nowadays——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, but he will, Grace! I am sure he will—and the
-worst of it is that I must—you know——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not at all, dear. If you like I will break it to
-him——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, Grace, what a darling you are!” cried Constance,
-throwing both her arms round her sister’s neck and kissing
-her. “I did not dare to ask you, and I could not, I
-could not have done it myself! But you will do it very
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_175'>175</span>kindly, will you not? You know he has been so good
-and patient.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was an odd smile on Grace’s strong face when
-she answered, but Constance was not in a mood to notice
-anything disagreeable just then.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will break it to him very gently,” said the young
-girl quietly. “Of course you must tell me what I am to
-say, more or less—an idea, you know. I cannot say
-bluntly that you have sent word that you have decided
-not to marry him, can I?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh no!” exclaimed Constance, suddenly growing very
-grave. “You must tell him that I feel towards him just
-as I always did——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is that true?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course. I always told him that I did not love him
-enough to marry him. You may as well know it all. A
-year ago, he proposed again—well, yes, it was not the
-first time. I told him that if on the first of May—this
-first of May—I loved him better than I did then, I would
-marry him. Well, I have thought about it, again and
-again, all the time, and I am sure I do not love him as I
-ought, if I were to marry him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should think not,” laughed Grace, “if it is so hard
-to find it out!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, you must not laugh at me,” said Constance earnestly.
-“It is very, very serious. Have I done right,
-Grace? I wish I knew! I have treated him so cruelly,
-so hatefully, and yet I did not mean to. I am so fond of
-him, I admire him so much, I like his ways—and all—I
-do still, you know. It is quite true. I suppose I ought
-to be ashamed of it—only, I am sure I never did love
-him, really.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have no idea of laughing at the affair,” answered
-Grace. “It is serious enough, I am sure, especially for
-him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—I want to make a confession to you. I want to
-tell you that you were quite right, that I have encouraged
-him and led him on and been dreadfully unkind. I am
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_176'>176</span>sure you think I am a mere flirt, and perfectly heartless!
-Is it not true? Well, I am, and it is of no use to deny it.
-I will never, never, do such a thing again—never! But
-after all, I do like him very much. I never could understand
-why you hated him so, from the first.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did not hate him. I do not hate him now,” said
-Grace emphatically. “I did hate the idea of his marrying
-you, and I do still. I thought it was just as well that
-he should see that from the way one member of the family
-behaved towards him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He did see it!” exclaimed Constance in a tone of
-regret. “It is another of the things I inflicted on him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You? I should rather think it was I——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, it was all my fault, all, everything, from beginning
-to end—and you are a darling, Gracey dear, and it
-is so sweet of you. You will be very good to him? Yes—and
-if he should want to see me very much, after you
-have told him everything, I might come down for a
-minute. I should so much like to be sure that he has
-taken it kindly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you wish it, you might see him—but I hardly
-think—well, do as you think best, dear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you, darling—you know you really are a
-darling, though I do not always tell you so. And now,
-I think I will go and lie down. I never slept last night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Silly child!” laughed Grace, kissing her on both
-cheeks. “As though it mattered so much, after all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, but it does matter,” Constance said regretfully
-as she left the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When Grace Fearing was alone she went to the window
-and looked out thoughtfully into the fresh, morning
-air.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad,” she said aloud to herself. “I am
-very, very glad. But I would not have done it. No,
-not for worlds! I would rather cut off my right hand
-than treat a man like that!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In that moment she pitied George Wood with all her
-heart.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_177'>177</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XIII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>When George entered the drawing-room he was surprised
-to find Grace there instead of Constance, and it
-was with difficulty that he repressed a nervous movement
-of annoyance. On that day of all others he had no desire
-to meet Grace Fearing, and though he imagined that her
-presence was accidental and that he had come before the
-appointed time he felt something more of resentment
-against the young girl than usual. He made the best of
-the situation, however, and put on a brave face, considering
-that, after all, when the happiness of a lifetime is
-to be decided, a delay of five minutes should not be
-thought too serious an affair.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace rose to receive him and, coming forward, held
-his hand in hers a second or two longer than would have
-been enough under ordinary circumstances. Her face
-was very grave and her deep brown eyes looked with
-an expression of profound sympathy into those of her
-visitor. George felt his heart sink under the anticipation
-of bad news.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is anything the matter, Miss Fearing?” he inquired
-anxiously. “Is your sister ill?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. She is not ill. Sit down, Mr. Wood. I have
-something to say to you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George felt an acute presentiment of evil, and sat
-down in such a position with regard to the light that he
-could see Grace’s face better than she could see his.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is it?” he asked in a tone of constraint.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The young girl paused a moment, moved in her seat,
-which she had selected in the corner of a sofa, rested one
-elbow on the mahogany scroll that rose at the end of the
-old-fashioned piece of furniture, supported her beautifully
-moulded chin upon the half-closed fingers of her
-white hand and gazed upon George with a look of inquiring
-sympathy. There was nothing of nervousness nor
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_178'>178</span>timidity in Grace Fearing’s nature. She knew what she
-was going to do and she meant to do it thoroughly,
-calmly, pitilessly if necessary.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“My sister has asked me to talk with you,” she began,
-in her smooth, deep voice. “She is very unhappy and
-she is not able to bear any more than she has borne
-already.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George’s face darkened, for he knew what was coming
-now, as though it were already said. He opened his
-lips to speak, but checked himself, reflecting that he did
-not know the extent of Grace’s information.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very, very sorry,” she continued, earnestly.
-“I need not explain matters. I know all that has happened.
-Constance was to have given you a final answer
-to-day. She could not bear to do so herself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace paused an instant, and if George had been less
-agitated than he was, he would have seen that her full
-lips curled a little as she spoke the last words.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She has thought it all over,” she concluded. “She
-does not love you, and she can never be your wife.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was a long pause. Grace changed her position,
-leaning far back among the cushions and clasping her
-hands upon her knees. At the same time she ceased to
-look at the young man’s face, and let her sight wander
-to the various objects on the other side of the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In the first moment, George’s heart stood still. Then
-it began to beat furiously, though it seemed as though
-its pulsations had lost the power of propelling the blood
-from its central seat. He kept his position, motionless
-and outwardly calm, but his dark face grew slowly
-white, leaving only black circles about his gleaming eyes,
-and his scornful mouth gradually set itself like stone.
-He was silent, for no words suggested themselves to his
-lips, now, though they had seemed too ready a moment
-earlier.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace felt that she must say something more. She
-was perfectly conscious of his state, and if she had been
-capable of fear she would have been frightened by the
-magnitude of his silent anger.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_179'>179</span>“I have known that this would come,” she said, softly.
-“I know Constance better than you can. A very long
-time ago, I told her that at the last minute she would
-refuse you. She is very unhappy. She begged me to
-say all this as gently as possible. She made me promise
-to tell you that she felt towards you just as she had
-always felt, that she hoped to see you very often, that
-she felt towards you as a sister——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This is too much!” exclaimed George in low and
-angry tones. Then forgetting himself altogether, he
-rose from his seat quickly and went towards the door.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace was on her feet as quickly as he.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Stop!” she cried in a voice not loud, but of which
-the tone somehow imposed upon the angry man.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He turned suddenly and faced her as though he were
-at bay, but she met his look calmly and her eyes did
-not fall before his.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You shall not go away like this,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Pardon me,” he answered. “I think it is the best
-thing I can do.” There was something almost like a
-laugh in the bitterness of his tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think not,” replied Grace with much dignity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can you have anything more to say to me, Miss
-Fearing? You, of all people? Are you not satisfied?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not understand you, and from the tone in which
-you speak, I would rather not. You are very angry,
-and you have reason to be—heaven knows! But you
-are wrong in being angry with me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Am I?” George asked, recovering some control of
-his voice and manner. “I am at least wrong in showing
-it,” he added, a moment later. “Do you wish me to
-stay here?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A few minutes longer, if you will be so kind,” Grace
-answered, sitting down again, though George remained
-standing before her. “You are wrong to be angry with
-me, Mr. Wood. I have only repeated to you my sister’s
-words. I have done my best to tell you the truth as
-gently as possible.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_180'>180</span>“I do not doubt it. Your mission is not an easy one.
-Why did your sister not tell me the truth herself? Is
-she afraid of me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you think it would have been any easier to bear,
-if she had told you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why?” Grace asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because it is better to hear such things directly than
-at second hand. Because it is easier to bear such words
-when they are spoken by those we love, than by those
-who hate us. Because when hearts are to be broken it
-is braver to do it oneself than to employ a third person.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not know what you are saying. I never hated
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Miss Fearing,” said George, who was rapidly becoming
-exasperated beyond endurance, “will you allow me
-to take my leave?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I never hated you,” Grace repeated without heeding
-his question. “I never liked you, and I never was
-afraid to show it. But I respect you—no, do not interrupt—I
-respect you, more than I did, because I have
-found out that you have more heart than I had believed.
-I admire you as everybody admires you, for what you do
-so well. And I am sorry for you, more sorry than I
-can tell. If you would have my friendship, I would
-offer it to you—indeed you have it already, from to-day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am deeply indebted to you,” George answered very
-coldly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You need not even make a show of thanking me. I
-have done you no service, and I should regret it very
-much if Constance married you. Do not look surprised.
-My only virtue is honesty, and when I have such
-things to say you think that is no virtue at all. I
-thought very badly of you once. Forgive me, if you
-can. I have changed my mind. I have neither said
-nor done anything for a long time to influence my sister,
-not for nearly a year. Do you believe me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was beginning to be very much surprised at
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_181'>181</span>Grace’s tone. He was too much under the influence of
-a great emotion to reason with himself, but the truthfulness
-of her manner spoke to his heart. If she had
-condoled with him, or tried to comfort him, he would
-have been disgusted, but her straightforward confession
-of her own feelings produced a different effect.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I believe you,” he said, wondering how he could sincerely
-answer such a statement with such words.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you, you are generous.” Grace rose again,
-and put out her hand. “Do you care to see her, before
-you go?” she asked, looking into his eyes. “I will
-send her to you, if you wish it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” George answered, after a moment’s hesitation.
-“I will see her—please.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was left alone for a few minutes. Though the sun
-was streaming in through the window, he felt cold as he
-had never felt cold in his life. His anger had, he
-believed, subsided, but the sensation it had left behind
-was new and strange to him. He turned as he stood
-and his glance fell upon Constance’s favourite chair, the
-seat in which she had sat so often and so long while he
-had talked with her. Then he felt a sudden pain, so
-sharp that it might have seemed the last in life, and he
-steadied himself by leaning on the table. It was as
-though he had seen the fair young girl lying dead in
-that place she loved. But she was not dead. It was
-worse. Then his great wrath surged up again, sending
-the blood tingling through his sinewy frame to the tips
-of his strong fingers, and bringing a different mood with
-it, and a sterner humour. He was a very masculine
-man, incapable of being long crushed by any blow. He
-was sorry, now, that he had asked to see her. Had he
-felt thus five minutes earlier, he would have declined
-Grace’s offer and would have left the house, meaning
-never to re-enter it. But it was too late and he could
-no longer avoid the meeting.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At that moment the door opened, and Constance stood
-before him. Her face was pale and there were traces
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_182'>182</span>of tears upon her cheeks. But he was not moved to pity
-by any such outward signs of past emotion. She came
-and stood before him, and laid one delicate hand upon
-his sleeve, looking up timidly to his eyes. He did not
-move, and his expression did not change.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can you forgive me?” she asked in a trembling
-voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” he answered, bitterly. “Why should I forgive
-you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know I have not deserved your forgiveness,” she
-said, piteously. “I have been very, very wrong—I
-have done the worst thing I ever did in my life—I
-have been heartless, unkind, cruel, wicked—but—but
-I never meant to be——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is small consolation to me to know that you did
-not mean it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, do not be so hard!” she cried, the tears rising
-in her voice. “I did not mean it so. I never promised
-you anything—indeed I never did!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It must be a source of sincere satisfaction, to feel
-that your conscience is clear.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But it is not—I want to tell you all—Grace has not
-told you—I like you as much as ever, there is no difference—I
-am still fond of you, still very fond of you!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thanks.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, George, are you a stone? Will nothing move
-you? Cannot you see how I am suffering?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. I see.” He neither moved, nor bent his head.
-His lips opened and shut mechanically as though they
-were made of steel. She looked up again into his face
-and his expression terrified her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She turned away, slowly at first, as though in despair.
-Then with a sudden movement she threw herself upon
-the sofa and buried her face in the cushions, while a
-violent fit of sobbing shook her light frame from head to
-foot. George stood still, watching her with stony eyes.
-For a full minute nothing was audible but the sound of
-her weeping.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_183'>183</span>“You are so cold,” she sobbed. “Oh, George, you
-will break my heart!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You seem to be chiefly overcome by pity for yourself,”
-he answered cruelly. “If you have anything else
-to say, I will wait. If not——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She roused herself and sat up, the tears streaming down
-her cheeks, her hands clasped passionately together.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, do not go! Do not go—it kills me to let you
-go.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you think it would? In that case I will stay a
-little longer.” He turned away and went to the window.
-For some minutes there was silence in the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George——” Constance began timidly. George
-turned sharply round.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am here. Can I do anything for you, Miss Fearing?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Cannot you say you forgive me? Can you not say
-one kind word?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed, I should find it very hard.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance had recovered herself to some extent, and
-sat staring vacantly across the room, while the tears
-slowly dried upon her cheeks. Her courage and her
-pride were alike gone, and she looked the very picture
-of repentance and despair. But George’s heart had been
-singularly hardened during the half-hour or more which
-he had spent in her house that day. Presently she
-began speaking in a slow, almost monotonous tone, as
-though she were talking with herself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have been very bad,” she said, “and I know it, but
-I have always told the truth. I never loved you enough,
-I never cared for you as you deserved. Did I not tell
-you so? Oh yes, very often—too often. I should not
-have told you even that I cared a little. You are the
-best friend I ever had—why have I lost you by loving
-you a little? It seems very hard. It is not that you
-must forgive, it is that I should have told you so that
-I should—you kissed me once—it was not your fault.
-I let you do it. There seemed so little harm—and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_184'>184</span>yet it was so wrong. And once, because there was pain
-in your face, I kissed you, as I would have kissed my
-sister. I was so fond of you—I am still, although you
-are so cruel and cold. I did think—I really hoped that
-I should love you some day. You do not believe me?
-What does it matter! You will, for I always told you
-what was true—but that is it—I hoped, and I let you
-see that I hoped. It was very wrong. Will you try—only
-try to forgive me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you not think it would be better if you would let
-me leave you, Miss Fearing?” George asked, coming
-suddenly forward. “It can do very little good to talk
-this matter over.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Miss Fearing!” exclaimed the young girl with a
-sigh. “It is so long since you called me that! Do you
-want to go? How should I keep you? Only this, will
-you think kindly of me, sometimes? Will you sometimes
-think that I helped you—only a little—to be what you
-are? Will you say ‘Good-bye, Constance,’ a little
-kindly?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was moved in spite of himself, and his voice
-was softer when he answered her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of what use is it, to speak of these things? You
-know all that you have been to me in these years, better
-than I can tell you. It turns out that I have been nothing
-to you—well, then——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing to me! Oh George, you have been everything—my
-best friend——” She stopped short.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>His heart hardened again. It seemed to him that
-every word she spoke was in direct contradiction to her
-action.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you tell me one thing?” he asked, after a
-pause during which she seemed to be on the point of
-bursting into tears again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything you ask me,” she answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have you come to this decision yourself, or has your
-sister influenced you?” His eyes sought hers and tried
-to read her inmost thoughts.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_185'>185</span>“It is my own resolution,” she answered without
-wavering. “Grace has not spoken of my marrying you
-for more than a year.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad that it is altogether from your own
-heart——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can you think that I would have taken the advice of
-some one else?” Constance asked, reproachfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know. It matters very little, after all.
-Pardon me if I have been rude or hasty. My manners
-may have been a little ruffled by this—this occurrence.
-Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She took his hand and tried to press it, looking again
-for his eyes. But he drew his fingers away quickly and
-was gone before she could detain him. For one moment
-she sat staring at the closed door. Then she once more
-hid her face in the deep soft cushions and sobbed aloud,
-more passionately than the first time.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, I know I ought to have married him, I know I
-really love him!” she moaned.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And so the first act of Constance Fearing’s life comedy
-was played out and the curtain fell between her and the
-happiness to grasp which she lacked either the will or
-the passion, or both. She had acted her part with a sincerity
-so scrupulous that it was like a parody of truth.
-She had thought of marrying George Wood with delight,
-she had broken with him in the midst of what might be
-called a crisis of doubt, and she had parted from him
-with sincere and bitter tears, feeling that she had sacrificed
-all she held dear in the world to the ferocious
-Moloch of her conscience.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To follow the action of her intelligence any farther
-through the mazes of the labyrinth into which she had
-led it would be a labour so stupendous that no sensible
-person could for a moment contemplate the possibility
-of performing the task, and for the present Constance
-Fearing must be left to her tears, her meditations, and
-her complicated state of mind with such pity as can be
-spared for her weaknesses and such kind thoughts as may
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_186'>186</span>be bestowed by the charitable upon her gentle character.
-It will be easier to understand the strong passion and the
-bitter disappointment which agitated George Wood’s
-powerful nature during the hours which followed the
-scenes just described.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>His day was indeed not over yet, though he felt as
-though the sun had gone down upon his life before
-it was yet noon. He was neither morbid nor self-conscious,
-nor did he follow after the chimera introspection.
-He was simply and savagely angry with
-Constance, with himself, with the whole known and
-unknown world. For the time, he forgot who he was,
-what he was, and all that he had done or that he might
-be expected to do in the future. He knew that Constance
-had spoken the truth in saying that she had
-promised nothing. The greater madman he, to have expected
-anything whatever! He knew that her whole life
-and conversation had been one long promise during nearly
-two years—the more despicably heartless and altogether
-contemptible she was, then, for since she had spoken
-what was true she had acted what was a lie from beginning
-to end. Forgive her? He had given her his only
-answer. Why should he forgive her? Were there any
-extenuating circumstances in her favour? Not one—and
-if there had been, he knew that he would have torn
-that one to tatters till it was unrecognisable to his sense
-of justice. Her tears, her pathetic voice, her timidity,
-even her pale face—they had all been parts of the play,
-harmonic chords in the grand close of lies that had
-ended her symphony of deception. She had even prepared
-his ears by sending Grace to him with her warm,
-sympathetic eyes, her rich, deep voice and her tale of
-spontaneous friendship. It was strange that he should
-have believed the other girl, even for one moment, but
-he admitted that he had put some faith in her words.
-How poor a thing was the strongest man when desperately
-hurt, ready to believe in the first mockery of sympathy
-that was offered him, ready to catch at the mere
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_187'>187</span>shadow of a straw blown by the wind! Doubtless the
-two sisters had concocted their comedy overnight and
-had planned their speeches to produce the proper effect
-upon his victimised feelings. He had singularly disappointed
-them both, in that case. They would have to
-think longer and think more wisely the next time they
-meant to deceive a man of his character. He remembered
-with delight every cold, hard word he had spoken,
-every cruelly brutal answer he had given. He rejoiced
-in every syllable saving only that “I believe you” he
-had bestowed on Grace’s asseverations of friendship and
-esteem. And he had been weak enough to ask Constance
-whether Grace had spoken the truth, as if they had not
-arranged between them beforehand every sentence of each
-part! That had been weakness indeed! How they would
-laugh over his question when they compared notes! By
-this time they were closeted together, telling each other
-all he had said and done. On the whole, there could not
-be much to please them, and he had found strings for
-most of his short phrases after the first surprise was over.
-He was glad that he disbelieved them both, and so thoroughly.
-If there had been one grain of belief in Constance
-left to him, how much he still might suffer. His
-illusion had fallen, but it had fallen altogether with one
-shock, in one general and overwhelming crash. There
-was not one stone of his temple whole that it might be
-set upon another, there was not one limb, one fragment
-of his beautiful idol that might recall its loveliness. All
-was gone, wholly, irrevocably, and he was glad that it
-was all gone together. The ruin was so complete that
-he could doubtless separate the memory of the past from
-the fact of the present, and dwell upon it, live upon it,
-as he would. If he met Constance now, he could behave
-towards her as he would to any other woman. She was
-not Constance any more. Her name roused no emotion
-in his heart, the thought of her face as he had last seen
-it was not connected with anything like love. Her false
-face, that had been so true and honest once! He could
-scorn the one and yet love the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_188'>188</span>If George had been less absorbed in his angry thoughts,
-or had known that there was anything unusual in his expression,
-he would not have walked up Fifth Avenue on
-his way from Washington Square. The times were
-changed since he had been able to traverse the thoroughfare
-of fashion in the comparative certainty of not meeting
-an acquaintance. Before he had gone far, he was
-conscious of having failed to return more than one
-friendly nod, and he was disgusted with himself for
-allowing his emotions to have got the better of his
-habitually quick perception. At the busy corner of
-Fourteenth Street he stopped upon the edge of the pavement,
-debating for a moment whether he should leave the
-Avenue and go home by the elevated road, or strike across
-Union Square and take a long walk in the less crowded
-parts of the city. Just then, a familiar and pleasant
-voice spoke at his elbow.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why, George!” exclaimed Totty Trimm. “How
-you look! What is the matter with you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How do you do, cousin Totty? I do not understand.
-Is there anything the matter with my face?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish you could see yourself in the glass!” cried
-the little lady evidently more and more surprised at his
-unusual expression. “I wish you could. You are as
-white as a sheet, with great rings round your eyes.
-Where in the world have you been?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I? Oh, I have only been making a visit at the Fearings.
-I suppose I am tired.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The Fearings?” repeated Totty, with a sweet smile.
-“How odd! I was just going there—walking, you see,
-because it is such a lovely afternoon. You won’t come
-back with me? They won’t mind seeing you twice in
-the same day, I daresay.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thanks,” answered George, speaking hurriedly, and
-growing, if possible, paler than before. “I think it
-would be rather too much. Besides, I have a lot of
-work to do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—go in and see Mamie on your way up. She
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_189'>189</span>is alone—got a horrid cold, poor child! She will be so
-glad and she will give you a cup of tea. You might put
-a little of that old whiskey of Sherry’s into it. I am
-sure you are not well, George. You are looking wretchedly.
-Good-bye, dear boy.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty squeezed his hand warmly, gave him an earnest
-and affectionate look, and tripped away down the
-Avenue. George wondered whether she had guessed
-that there was anything wrong.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose I ought to have lied,” he said to himself,
-as he crossed the thoroughfare. “They will—but I
-cannot do it so well. I ought to have told her that I had
-been to the club.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty Trimm had not only guessed that something was
-very wrong indeed. She had instinctively hit upon the
-truth. She, like many other people, had seen long ago
-that George was in love with Constance Fearing, and she
-had for a long time been glad of it. During the last
-three or four days, however, she had changed her mind
-in a way very unusual with her, and she had been hoping
-with all her heart that something would happen to
-break off a match that seemed to be very imminent. The
-matter had been so constantly in her thoughts that she
-referred to it everything she heard about the Fearings
-and about George. She had not really had the slightest
-intention of going to the house in Washington Square
-when she had met her cousin, but the determination had
-formed itself so quickly that she had spoken the truth in
-declaring it. She made up her mind to see Constance
-the moment she had seen George’s face and had learned
-that he had been with her. She pursued her way with
-a light heart, and her nimble little feet carried her more
-lightly and smoothly than ever. She rang the bell and
-asked if the young ladies were at home.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes ma’am,” answered the servant, “but Miss Constance
-is not very well, and is gone to her room with a
-headache, and Miss Grace said she would see no one,
-ma’am.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_190'>190</span>“I just met Mr. Wood,” objected Totty, “and he said
-he had been here this afternoon.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes ma’am, and so he was, and it’s since Mr. Wood
-left that the orders was given. Shall I take your card,
-Mrs. Trimm, ma’am?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. It is of no use. You can tell the young ladies
-I called.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She descended the steps and went quickly back towards
-Fifth Avenue. There was great joy and triumph in her
-breast and her smile shed its radiance on the trees on
-the deserted pavement and on the stiff iron railings as
-she went along.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That idiotic little fool!” said Mrs. Sherrington Trimm
-in her heart. “She loves him, and she has refused one
-of the best matches in New York because she fancies he
-wants her money!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She reflected that if Mamie had the same chance, she
-should certainly not refuse George Winton Wood, and
-she determined that if diplomacy could produce the necessary
-situation, she would not be long in bringing matters
-to the proper point. There is no time when a man
-is so susceptible, so ready to yield to the charms of one
-woman as when he has just been jilted by another—so,
-at least, thought Totty, and her worldly experience was
-by no means small. And if the marriage could be brought
-about, why then——Totty’s radiant face expressed the
-rest of her thoughts better than any words could have
-done.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>While she was making these reflections the chief figure
-in her panorama was striding up the Avenue at a rapid
-pace. Strange to say his cousin’s suggestion, that he
-should go and see Mamie had proved rather attractive
-than otherwise. He did not care to walk the streets,
-since Totty had been so much surprised by his appearance.
-He might meet other acquaintances, and be
-obliged to speak with them. If he went home he would
-have to face his father, who would not fail to notice his
-looks, and who might guess the cause of his distress, for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_191'>191</span>the old gentleman was well aware that his son was in
-love with Constance and hoped with all his heart that
-the marriage might not be far distant. Mamie would be
-alone, Mamie knew nothing of his doings, she was a good
-girl, and he liked her. To spend an hour with her
-would cost him nothing, as she would talk the greater
-part of the time, and he would gain a breathing space in
-which to recover from the shock he had received. She
-was indeed the only person whom he could have gone to
-see at that moment without positive suffering, except
-Johnson, and he was several miles from the office of
-Johnson’s newspaper.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As he approached the Trimms’ house his pace slackened,
-as though he were finally debating within himself
-upon the wisdom of making the visit. Then as he came
-within sight of the door he quickened his steps again
-and did not pause until he had rung the bell. A moment
-later he entered the drawing-room where Mamie Trimm
-was sitting in a deep easy-chair, among flowers near a
-sunlit window. She held a book in her hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh George!” she cried, blushing with pleasure. “I
-am so glad—I am all alone.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And what are you reading, all alone among the
-roses?” asked George kindly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What do you think?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then she held up the novel for him to see. It was
-the book he had just published.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XIV.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Mamie Trimm was one of those young girls of whom
-it is most difficult to give a true impression by describing
-them in the ordinary way. To say that her height was
-so many feet and so many inches—fewer inches than
-the average—that her hair was very fair, her eyes grey,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_192'>192</span>her nose small, her mouth large, her complexion clear,
-her figure well proportioned, to say all this is to say
-nothing at all. A passport, in the days of passports,
-would have said as much, and the description would have
-just sufficed to point out Mamie Trimm if she had found
-herself in a company of tall women with black hair,
-large features and imposing presence. It would have
-been easier for a man to find her amongst a bevy of girls
-of her age, if he had been told that she possessed a
-charm of her own, which nobody could define. It would
-help him in his search, to be informed that she looked
-very delicate, but was not so in reality, that her figure
-was not only well proportioned, but was very exceptionally
-perfect and graceful, and that, but for her well-set
-grey eyes and her transparent complexion, her face
-could never have been called pretty. All these points
-may have combined to produce the aforesaid individuality
-that was especially hers. Little is known, I believe,
-of that fair young girl of whom Charles Lamb
-wrote to Landor—“Rose Aylmer has a charm that I
-cannot explain.” Mamie Trimm was George Wood’s
-Rose Aylmer.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had known her all her life and there was between
-them that sort of intimacy which cannot exist at all
-unless it has begun in childhood. The patronising
-superiority of the schoolboy has found a foil in the
-clinging admiration of the little girl who is only half
-his age. The budding vanity of the young student has
-delighted in “explaining things” to the slim maiden of
-fourteen who believes all his words and worships all his
-ideas, the struggling, striving, hardworking beginner
-has found comfort in the unfailing friendship and devotion
-of the accomplished young woman whom he still
-thinks of as a child, and treats as a sister, not realising
-that the difference between fourteen and seven is one
-thing, while that between five or six and twenty, and
-eighteen or nineteen is quite another.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When a friendship of that kind has begun in childish
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_193'>193</span>years it is not easily broken, even though the subsequent
-intercourse be occasionally interrupted. Of late, indeed,
-Constance Fearing had taken, and more than taken
-Mamie’s place in George’s life. He had seen his cousin
-constantly of course, but she had felt that he was not to
-her what he had been, that something she could not
-understand had come between them, and that she had
-been deprived of something that had given her pleasure.
-On the other hand, it was precisely at this time that she
-had made her first appearance in society and her life had
-been all at once made very full of new interests and
-new amusements. She had been received into the bosom
-of social institutions with enthusiasm, she had held her
-own with tact, she had danced at every ball, had received
-offers of marriage about once in three months, had
-refused them all systematically and was, on the whole,
-in the very prime of an American girl’s social career.
-If her head had been turned by much admiration, she
-had concealed the fact very well, and the expression of
-her attractive face had not changed for the worse after
-two years of uninterrupted gaiety. She was still as
-innocently fond of George as she had been when a little
-girl and if the exigencies of continual amusement had
-deprived her of some of his companionship, she looked
-upon the circumstance with all the fatalism of the very
-young and the very happy, as a matter to be regretted
-when she had time for regrets, but inevitable and predestined.
-Her regrets, indeed, had not troubled her
-much until very lately, when George’s growing reputation
-had begun to draw him into the current of society.
-She had seen then for the first time that there was
-another person, somewhat older than herself, in whose
-company he delighted as he had never delighted in her
-own, and her dormant jealousy had been almost awakened
-by the sight. It seemed to her that she had always
-had a prior right and claim upon her cousin’s attention
-and conversation, and she did not like to find her right
-contested, especially by one so well able to maintain her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_194'>194</span>conquests against all comers as was Constance Fearing.
-In her innocence, she had more than once complained to
-her mother that George neglected her, but hitherto her
-observations on the subject had received no sympathy
-from Mrs. Sherrington Trimm. Totty had no idea of
-allowing her only child to marry a penniless man of
-genius, and though, as has been set forth in the early
-part of this history she felt it incumbent upon her to do
-something for George, and encouraged his visits, she
-took care that he should meet Mamie as rarely as possible
-in her own house. As for Sherrington Trimm himself,
-he cared for none of these things. If Mamie loved
-George, she was welcome to marry him, if she did not
-there would be no hearts broken. George might come
-and go in his house and be welcome.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie Trimm’s undefinable charm doubtless covered
-a multitude of defects. She was of course very well
-educated, in the sense in which that elastic term is generally
-applied to all young girls of her class. It would
-be more true to say that she, like most of her associates,
-had been expensively educated. Nothing had been
-omitted which, according to popular social belief can
-contribute to the production of a refined and accomplished
-feminine mind. She had been taught at great
-pains a number of subjects of which she remembered
-little, but of which the transient knowledge had contributed
-something to the formation of her taste. She
-had been instructed in the French language with a care
-perhaps not always bestowed upon the subject in France,
-and the result was that she could read novels written in
-that tongue and, under great pressure of necessity, could
-converse tolerably in it, though the composition of the
-shortest note plunged her into a despair that would have
-been comic had it been less real. She possessed a shadowy
-acquaintance with German and knew a score of
-Italian words. In the department of music, seven years
-of study had given her some facility in playing simple
-dance music, and she was able to accompany a song
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_195'>195</span>tolerably, provided the movement were not too fast.
-On the other hand she danced to perfection, rode well
-and played a very fair game of lawn-tennis, and she got
-even more credit for these accomplishments than she
-deserved because her naturally transparent complexion
-and rather thin face had always made the world believe
-that her health was not strong.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In character she was neither very sincere, nor by any
-means unscrupulous. Her conscience was in a very
-natural state, considering her surroundings, and she
-represented very fairly the combination of her mother’s
-worldly disposition with her father’s cheerful, generous
-and loyal nature. She was far too much in love with
-life to be morbid, and far too sensible to invent imaginary
-trials. She had never thought of examining herself,
-any more than she would have thought of pulling
-off a butterfly’s wings to see how they were fastened to
-its body. Her simplicity of ideas was dashed with a
-sprinkling of sentimentality which was natural enough at
-her age, but of which she felt so much ashamed that she
-hid it jealously from her father and mother and only
-showed a little of it to her most intimate friend when
-she had danced a little too long or suspected herself of
-having nearly accepted an offer of marriage. It was
-indeed with her, rather a quality than a weakness, for it
-sometimes made her feel that life did not consist entirely
-in waltzing a dozen miles every night and in talking over
-the race the next morning. The only visible signs of
-this harmless sentimentality were to be found in a secret
-drawer of her desk and took the shape of two or three
-dried flowers, a scrap of ribband and a dance programme
-in which the same initials were scrawled several times.
-She did not open the drawer at dead of night and kiss
-the flowers, nor hold the faded ribband to her hair, nor
-bedew the crumpled little bit of illuminated cardboard
-with her warm tears. On the contrary she rarely
-unlocked the receptacle unless it were to add some new
-memento to the collection, and on such occasions the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_196'>196</span>principal reason why she did not summarily eject the
-representatives of older memories was that she felt a
-sort of good-natured pity for them, as though they had
-been living things and might be hurt by being thrown
-away. Her dainty room contained, indeed more than
-one object given her by George Wood, from a collection
-of picture-books that bore the marks of age and rough
-usage, to her first tennis racquet, now battered and half
-unstrung, and from that to a pretty toilet-clock set in
-chiselled silver which her cousin had given her on her
-last birthday, as a sort of peace-offering for his neglect.
-It never would have entered her head, however, to hide
-anything she had received from him in the secret drawer.
-There was no sentimentality about her feelings for him,
-and if there was a sentiment it was of the better and
-stronger sort. She felt that she had a right to like
-George, and that his gifts had a right to be seen. Once
-or twice, of late, when she had been watching him
-through the greater part of an evening while he talked
-earnestly with Constance Fearing, Mamie had felt an
-itching in her fingers to take everything he had given
-her and to throw all into the street together; but she
-had always been glad on the next day that she had not
-yielded to the destructive impulse, and she had once
-dreamed that, having carried out her dire intention
-George had picked up the various articles in the street
-and had brought them back to her, neatly packed in a
-basket, with a sardonic smile on his grave face. Since
-then, she had thought more of Constance than of George’s
-old picture-books, the worn-out racquet, or the clock.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie bore no malice against him, however, though
-she was beginning to dislike the name of Fearing in a
-way that surprised herself. If George talked to her at
-a party, she was always herself, graceful, winning and
-happy; if he came to see her, the same words of welcome
-rose to her lips and the same soft colour flashed through
-the alabaster of her cheek, a colour which, as her mother
-thought, should not have come so easily for one who was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_197'>197</span>already so dear. The careful Totty heard love’s light
-tread afar off and caught the gleam of his weapons
-before it was yet day, her maternal anxiety had been
-stirred, and the devotion of the social tigress to her
-marriageable young had been roused almost to the point
-of self-sacrifice. Indeed, she had more than once interrupted
-some pleasant conversation of her own, in order
-to draw Mamie away from George, and more than once
-she had stayed at home when Mamie was tired with the
-dancing of the previous night lest in her absence George’s
-evil genius should lead him to the house. Fortunately
-for her, no one had given her more constant and valuable
-assistance than George himself, which was the
-reason why Totty had not ceased to like him. Had he,
-on his part seemed as glad to be with Mamie, as Mamie
-to be with him, the claws of the tigress would have
-fastened upon him with sudden and terrible ferocity and
-would have accompanied him to the front door. There
-would now in all likelihood be a change in the tigress’s
-view of the matter, and what had until lately seemed
-one of George’s best recommendations, would soon be
-regarded in the light of a serious defect. The position
-of the invader had been very much changed since the
-day on which Totty Trimm had been left alone in the
-strong room for a quarter of an hour, and had brought
-away with her the last will and testament of Thomas
-Craik.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>If George had ever in his life felt anything approaching
-to love for Mamie, he could not have failed to notice
-that Totty had done all in her power to keep the two apart
-during the past three years, in other words since Mamie
-had been of a marriageable age. But it had always
-been a matter of supreme indifference to him whether
-he were left alone with her or not, and to-day it had not
-struck him that Totty had never before proposed that
-he should go and spend an hour with her daughter when
-there was nobody about. Totty herself, if her heart had
-not been bursting with an anticipated triumph, would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_198'>198</span>have been more cautious, and would have thought twice
-before making her suggestion with so much frankness.
-In the moment of her meeting with him and guessing the
-truth so many possibilities had suggested themselves to
-her that she had not found time to reflect, and she had
-for an instant entertained the idea of returning immediately
-from Washington Square to her own home, in
-order to find George there and perform the part of the
-skilful and interested consoler. A very little consideration
-showed her that this would be an unwise course to
-pursue, and she had adopted a plan infinitely more diplomatic,
-of which the results will be seen and appreciated
-before long. In the meantime George Wood was seated
-beside Mamie and her flowers, listening to her talk, answering
-her remarks rather vaguely, and wondering why
-he was alive, and since he was alive, why he was in that
-particular place.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You look tired, George,” said the young girl, studying
-his face. “You look almost ill.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do I? I am all right. I have been doing a lot of
-work lately. And you, Mamie—what is the matter?
-Your mother told me just now that you had a bad cold.
-I hope it is nothing serious.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, it is nothing. I wanted to read your book, and
-I did not want to make visits, and I had just enough of
-a cold to make a good excuse. A cold is so useful sometimes—it
-is just the same thing that your writing is to
-you. Everybody believes it is inevitable, and then one
-can do as one pleases. But you really do look dreadfully.
-Have some tea—with a stick in it as papa calls it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie laughed a little at her own use of the slang
-term, though her eyes showed that she was really made
-anxious by George’s appearance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you,” he answered. “I do not want anything,
-but I am very tired, and when your mother told me you
-were all alone at home I thought it would do me good to
-come and stay with you a little while, if you would talk
-to me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_199'>199</span>“I am so glad you came. I have not seen much of you,
-lately.” There was a ring of regret in her voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have been so gay. How can I get at you when
-you are racing through society all the year round from
-morning till night?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, it is not that, George, and you know it is not!
-We have often been in the same gay places together, and
-you hardly ever come near me, though I would much
-rather talk with you than with all the other men.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No you would not—and if you would, you are such
-a raving success, as they call it, this year, that you are
-always surrounded—unless you are sitting in corners
-with the pinks of desirability whose very shoe-strings
-are a cut above the ‘likes o’ me.’ When are you going
-to marry, Mamie?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“When somebody asks me, sir—she said,” laughed
-the young girl.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Who is somebody?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know,” answered Mamie with an infinitesimal
-sigh. “People have asked me, you know,” she
-added with another laugh, “any number of them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But not the particular somebody who haunts your
-dreams?” asked George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He has not even begun to haunt me yet. You do,
-though. I dreamed of you the other night.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You? How odd! What did you dream about me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Such a funny dream!” said Mamie, leaning forward
-and smelling the roses beside her. It struck George as
-strange that the colour from the dark red petals should
-be thrown up into her face by the rays of the sun, though
-he knew something of the laws of incidence and reflection.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I dreamed,” continued Mamie, still holding the roses,
-“that I was very angry with you. Then I took all the
-things you ever gave me, the picture-books, and the
-broken doll, and the old racquet and the clock—by
-the by, it goes beautifully—and I threw them all out of
-my window into the street. And, of course, you were
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_200'>200</span>passing just at that moment, and you brought them all
-into the house in a basket, nicely done up in pink paper,
-and handed them back to me with that horrid smile you
-have when you are going to say something perfectly
-hateful.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And then, what happened?” inquired George, who
-was amused in spite of himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, nothing. I suppose I woke just then. I laughed
-over it the next morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But what made you so angry with me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing—that is—the usual thing. The way you
-always behave to me at parties.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked at her in silence for a second, before he
-spoke again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you mean to say that you really care,” he asked,
-“whether I talk to you at parties, or not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course I care!” exclaimed the young girl. “What
-a question!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sure I cannot see why. I am not a very amusing
-person. But since you would like me to talk to you,
-I will, as much as you please.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is too late now,” answered Mamie, laying down
-the roses she had held so long. “Everything is over, or
-will be in a day or two, and you will not get a chance
-unless you come and stay with us this summer. Why
-do you never come and stay with us? I have often wondered.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I was never asked,” said George indifferently. “I
-could not well come without an invitation. And besides,
-I have generally been very busy in the summer.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did they never ask you?” inquired Mamie in evident
-surprise. “Mamma must have forgotten it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I daresay,” George replied, rather dreamily. His
-thoughts were wandering from the conversation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She shall, this time,” said Mamie with considerable
-emphasis. Then there was silence for some moments.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George did not know what she was thinking and cared
-very little to inquire. He was conscious that the surroundings
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_201'>201</span>in which he found himself were soothing to
-his humour, that Mamie’s harmless talk was pleasant to
-his ear, and that if he had gone anywhere else on that
-afternoon, he might have committed some act of folly
-which would have had serious consequences. He was
-neither able nor anxious to understand his own state,
-since, whatever it might be, he desired to escape from
-it, and he was grateful for all external circumstances
-which helped his forgetfulness. He was no doubt conscious
-that it would be out of the question to recover
-from such a shock as he had received without passing
-through much suffering on his way to ultimate consolation.
-But he had been stunned and overcome by what
-had happened. The first passion of almost uncontrollable
-anger that swept over his nature had left him dull
-and almost apathetic for the time, bruised and willing
-to accept thankfully any peace that he could find.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Presently, Mamie turned the conversation to his books
-and talked enthusiastically of his success. She had read
-what he had written with greater care and understanding
-than he had expected of her, and she quoted whole passages
-from his novels, puzzling him sometimes with her
-questions, but pleasing him in spite of himself by her
-sincere and admiring appreciation. At last he rose to
-leave her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish you would stay,” she said regretfully. But
-he shook his head. “Why not stay the rest of the afternoon?”
-she suggested. “We are not going out this
-evening and you could dine with us, just as you are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>This was altogether more than George wanted. He
-did not care to meet Totty again on that day.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then come again soon,” said Mamie. “I have enjoyed
-it so much—and we are not going out of town for
-another fortnight.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But you may not have another cold, Mamie,” George
-observed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, I will always have a cold, if you will come and
-sit with me,” answered the young girl.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_202'>202</span>When George was once more in the street, he stared
-about him as though not knowing where he was. Then,
-when the full force of his disappointment struck him for
-the second time, he found it hard to believe that he had
-been spending an hour in careless conversation with his
-cousin. He looked at his watch mechanically, and saw
-that it was late in the afternoon. It was as though a
-dream had separated him from his last interview with
-Constance Fearing. Of that, at least, he had forgotten
-nothing; not a word of what she had said, or of what he
-had answered, had escaped his memory, every syllable
-was burned into the page of his day. Then came the
-great question, which had not suggested itself at first.
-Why had all this happened? What hidden reason was
-there in obedience to which Constance had so suddenly
-cast him off? Had she weakly yielded to Grace’s influence?
-He had little faith in Grace’s assurance that
-she had been silent, nor in Constance’s confirmation of
-the statement. And Constance was weak. He had often
-suspected it, and had even wondered whether she would
-withstand the pressure brought to bear upon her and
-against himself. Yet her weakness alone did not explain
-what she had done. It had needed strength of
-some sort to face him, to tell him to his face what she
-had first told him through her sister’s words. But her
-weakness had shown itself even then. She had wept and
-hidden her face and cried out that he was breaking her
-heart, when she was breaking his. George ground his
-heel upon the pavement.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her heart, indeed! She had none. She was but a
-compound of nerves, prettiness and vanity, and he had
-believed her the noblest, bravest and best of women. He
-had lavished upon her with his lips and in his books
-such language as would have honoured a goddess, and
-she had turned out to be only a weak shallow-hearted
-girl, ready to break an honest man’s heart, because she
-did not know her own mind. He cursed his ignorance
-of human nature and of woman’s love, as he strode along
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_203'>203</span>the street toward his own home. Yet, rave as he would,
-he could not hate her, he could not get rid of the sharp
-pain that told him he had lost what he held most dear
-and was widowed of what he had loved best.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When he was at home and in his own room he became
-apathetic again. He had never known himself subject
-to such sudden changes of humour and at first he vaguely
-imagined that he was going to be ill, and that his nerves
-would break down. His father had not yet come home
-from the walk which was a part of his regular mode of
-life. George sat in his deep old easy-chair by the corner
-of his table and wondered whether all men who were
-disappointed in love felt it as he did. He tried to smoke
-and then gave it up in disgust. He rose from his seat
-and attempted to arrange the papers that lay in heaps
-about the place where he wrote, but his fingers trembled
-oddly and he felt alternately hot and cold. He
-opened a book and tried to read, but the effort to concentrate
-his attention was maddening. He felt as though
-he must be stifled in the little room that had always
-seemed a haven of rest before, and yet he did not know
-where to go. He threw open the window and stood
-looking at the rows of windows just visible above the
-brick wall at the back of the road. The shadows were
-deepening below and the sky above was already stained
-with the glow of evening. The prospect was not beautiful,
-but the cool air that fanned his face was pleasant to
-his senses, and he remained standing a long time, so long
-indeed that the stars began to shine overhead before he
-drew back and returned to his seat. Far down in his
-sensitive character there was a passionate love of all
-that is beautiful in the outer world. He hid it from
-every one, for some reason which he could not explain,
-but he occasionally let it show itself in his writings and
-the passages in which he had written of nature as it
-affected him, had not failed to be noticed for their peculiar
-grace and tenderness of execution. Since he had
-begun to write books all nature had become associated
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_204'>204</span>with Constance. He had often wondered what the connecting
-link could be, but had found no answer to the
-question. A star in the evening sky, a ray of moonlight
-upon rippling water, the glow of the sunset over drifted
-snow, the winnowed light of summer’s afternoon beneath
-old trees, the scent of roses wet with dew, the sweet
-smell of country lanes when a shower had passed by—all
-these things acted like a charm upon him to raise the
-vision of Constance before his eyes. To-night he could
-not bear to look at the bright planet that was shining in
-that strip of exquisitely soft sky above the hard brick
-buildings.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>That evening he sat with his father, a rather rare
-occurrence since he had gone so much into the world.
-The old gentleman had looked often at him during their
-meal but had said nothing about the careworn look of
-exhaustion that he saw in his son’s face. It was nearly
-ten o’clock when Jonah Wood laid down his book by his
-side and raised his eyes. George had been trying to
-read also, and during the last half-hour he had almost
-succeeded.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is the matter with you, George?” asked his
-father.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George let his book fall upon his knee and stared at
-the lamp for a few seconds. He did not want sympathy
-from his father nor from any one else, but as he supposed
-that he would be unable to conceal his nervousness and
-ill temper for a long time to come, and as his father was
-the person who would suffer the consequences of both,
-he thought it better to speak out.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not think there is anything the matter with my
-bodily condition,” he answered at last. “I am afraid I
-am bad company, and shall be for a few days. This
-afternoon, Miss Fearing refused to marry me. I loved
-her. That is what is the matter, father.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Jonah Wood uncrossed his legs and crossed them again
-in the opposite way rather suddenly, which was his
-especial manner when he was very much surprised.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_205'>205</span>Mechanically, he took up his book again, and held it
-before his eyes. Then his answer came at last in a
-rather indistinct voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sorry to hear that, George. I had thought she
-was a nice girl. But you are well out of it. I never did
-think much of women, anyhow, except your dear mother.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So far as words went, that was all the consolation
-George got from his father; but he knew better than to
-suppose that the old gentleman would waste language in
-condolence, whatever he might feel. That he felt something,
-and that strongly, was quite evident from the fact
-that although he conscientiously held his book before
-his eyes during the half-hour that followed, he never
-once turned over the page.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George rested little that night, and when at last he was
-sound asleep in the broad daylight, he was awakened by
-a knock at the door and a voice calling him. On looking
-out a note was handed to him, addressed in Totty Trimm’s
-brisk, slanting, ladylike writing. He was told that an
-answer was expected and that the messenger was waiting.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear George,” Totty wrote, “I cannot tell you how
-amazed and distressed I am. I do hope there is not a
-word of truth in it, and that you will write me so at
-once. It is all over New York that Conny Fearing has
-jilted you in the most abominable way! Of course we
-all knew that you had been engaged ever so long. If
-it is true, she is a cruel, heartless, horrid girl, and she
-never deserved you. Do write, and do come and see me
-this afternoon. I shall not go out at all for fear of
-missing you. I am so, so sorry! In haste.—Your
-affectionate</p>
-<div class='c007'><span class='sc'>Totty</span>.”</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>George swore a great oath, then and there. He had
-not mentioned the subject to any one but his father, so
-that either Constance or Grace must have told what had
-happened.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>That the story really was “all over New York,” as
-Totty expressed it, he found out very soon.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_206'>206</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XV.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Totty had lost no time in spreading the report that
-everything was broken off between George Wood and
-Constance Fearing, and she had done it so skilfully that
-no one would have thought of tracing the story to her,
-even if it had proved to be false. She had cared very
-little what George himself thought about it, though she
-had not failed to see that he would lay the blame of the
-gossip on the Fearings. The two girls, indeed, could
-have no object in circulating a piece of news which did
-not reflect much credit upon themselves. What Totty
-wanted was in the first place that George should know
-that she was acquainted with his position, in order that
-she might play the part of the comforter and earn his
-gratitude. She could not of course question him directly,
-and she was therefore obliged to appear as having heard
-the tale from others; to manage this with success, it was
-necessary that the circumstances of the case should be
-made common property. Secondly, and here Totty’s
-diplomatic instinct showed itself at its strongest, she
-was determined to prevent all possibility of a renewal
-of relations between Constance and George. In due
-time, probably in twenty-four hours at the latest, both
-Constance and Grace would know that all society was in
-possession of their secret. Having of course not mentioned
-it themselves to any one, they would feel sure
-that George had betrayed them in his anger, and would
-be proportionately incensed against him. If both parties
-should be so angry as to come to an explanation, which
-was improbable, neither would believe the other, the
-quarrel would grow and the breach would be widened.
-Totty herself would of course take George’s part, as
-would the majority of his acquaintance, and he would
-be grateful for such friendly support at so trying a time.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Matters turned out very nearly as Mrs. Sherrington
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_207'>207</span>Trimm had anticipated. There was, indeed, a slight
-variation in the programme, but she was not aware of it
-at the time, and if she had noticed it she would not have
-attached to it the importance it deserved. It chanced
-that Constance and Grace Fearing and George Wood had
-been asked with certain other guests to dine with a certain
-young couple lately returned from their wedding
-tour in Europe. The invitations had been sent and
-accepted on the last day of April, that is to say on the
-day preceding the one on which Constance gave George
-her definite refusal, and the dinner was to take place
-three or four days later. Now the young couple, who
-had bought a small place on the Hudson river, and were
-anxious to move into it as soon as possible, took advantage
-of those three or four days to go up to their country-house
-and to arrange it for themselves according to their
-ideas of comfort. They returned to town on the morning
-of their party and were of course ignorant of the
-gossip which had gone the rounds in their absence.
-Late on the afternoon of the day the husband came home
-from his club in great distress to tell his wife that Constance
-Fearing had thrown over George Wood and that
-the two were not on speaking terms. It was too late to
-make any excuse to their guests, so as to divide the party
-and give two separate dinners on different days. The
-worst of it was, that their table was small, the guests
-had been carefully arranged, and George Wood must
-inevitably sit beside either Constance or Grace. The
-young couple were in despair and spent all the time that
-was left in trying vainly to redistribute the places.
-There was nothing to be done but to put George next to
-Grace and to effect a total ignorance of the difficulty.
-At the last moment, however, the young hostess thought
-she could improve matters by speaking a word to George
-when he arrived. Constance and her sister, however,
-came before him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am so sorry!” said the lady of the house quickly
-in the ear of the elder girl, as she drew her a little aside.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_208'>208</span>“Mr. Wood is coming—we have been out of town, and
-knew nothing about it—I do hope——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad he is to be here,” answered Constance.
-She was very pale and very calm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh dear!” exclaimed the hostess, growing very red.
-“I hope I have said nothing——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not at all,” said Constance reassuring her. “There
-is a foolish bit of gossip in the air, I believe. The facts
-are very simple. Mr. Wood is a very old and good friend
-of mine. He asked me to marry him, and I could not.
-I like him very much and I hope we shall be as good
-friends as before. If there is any blame in the matter
-I wish to bear it. There he is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The hostess felt better after this, but her curiosity
-was excited, and as George entered the room she went
-forward to meet him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am so sorry,” she said. “The Fearings are here
-and you will have to sit next to the younger one. You
-see we have only just heard—I am so sorry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood inclined his head a little. He was very
-quiet and grave.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I may as well tell you at once,” he said, “that there
-is not a word of truth in the story they are telling. I
-shall be very much obliged if you will deny it when you
-hear it mentioned. There never was any engagement
-between Miss Fearing and me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, I am very glad to hear it. Pray, forgive me,”
-said the lady of the house.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George met Constance with his most impenetrably civil
-manner and they exchanged a few words which neither
-of them understood while they were speaking them, nor
-remembered afterwards. They both spoke in a low
-voice and the impression produced upon the many curious
-eyes that watched them was that they were on very
-good terms, though slightly embarrassed by the consciousness
-that they were being so much talked of.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At the dinner-table George found himself next to
-Grace. For some time he talked with his neighbour on
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_209'>209</span>his other side, then turned and inquired when Grace and
-her sister were going out of town, and what they intended
-to do during the summer. She, on her part, while
-answering his questions, looked at him with an air of
-cold and scornful surprise. Presently there was a brief
-burst of general conversation. Under cover of the
-numerous voices Grace asked a direct question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What do you mean by telling such a story as every
-one is repeating about my sister?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George’s eyes gleamed angrily for a moment and his
-answer came sharply and quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You would do better to ask that of yourself—or of
-Miss Fearing. I have said nothing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not intend to discuss the matter,” Grace answered
-icily. “If the story were true it would hurt us and we
-should not tell it. But it is a lie, and a malicious lie.”
-She turned her head away.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Miss Fearing,” George said, bending towards her a little,
-“I do not intend to be accused of such doings by any
-one. Do you understand? If you will take the trouble
-to ask the man on your left, he will tell you that I have
-denied the story everywhere during the last four days.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace looked at him again, and there was a change in
-her face. She was about to say something in reply,
-when the general talk, which had allowed them to speak
-together unheard, was interrupted by an unexpected
-pause.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you prefer Bar Harbour to Newport, Miss Fearing?”
-George inquired in a tone which led every one to
-suppose that they had been discussing the comparative
-merits of watering-places.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The young girl smiled as she made an indifferent
-answer. She liked the man’s coolness and tact in such
-small things. He was ready, imperturbable and determined,
-possessing three of the qualities which women
-like best in man. A little later another chance of
-exchanging a few words presented itself. This time
-Grace spoke less abruptly and coldly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_210'>210</span>“If you have said nothing, who has told the tale?”
-she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know,” George answered, keeping his clear
-eyes fixed on hers. “If I knew, I would tell you. It
-is a malicious lie, as you say, and it must have been set
-afloat by a malicious person—by some one who hates
-us all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Some one who hates my sister and me. It cannot
-injure you in any way.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is true,” said George. “It had not struck me
-at first, because I was so angry at hearing the story.
-Does your sister imagine that I have had anything to do
-with it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” Grace answered, and her lip curled a little.
-George misunderstood her expression and drew back
-rather proudly. The fact was that Grace was thinking
-how Constance accused herself every day of having been
-heartless and cruel, declaring in her self-abasement that
-even if George had chosen to tell the story he would have
-had something very like a right to do so. Grace had no
-patience with what she regarded as her sister’s weakness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>To the delight of the young couple who gave the dinner
-it passed off very pleasantly. There had been no
-apparent coldness anywhere, and they were persuaded
-that none existed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you be kind enough to tell your sister what I
-have told you?” said George to his neighbour as they
-rose from the table.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you like,” she answered indifferently. “Unless
-you prefer to tell her yourself.” The emphasis she put
-on the last part of the sentence showed plainly enough
-what her opinion was.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will,” he said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A little later in the evening he sat down by Constance
-in a comparatively quiet corner of the small drawing-room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you allow me to say a few words to you?” he
-asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_211'>211</span>She looked at him in pathetic surprise, and if he had
-been a little more vain than he was, he would have seen
-that she was grateful to him for coming to her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am always glad when you talk to me,” she said,
-and her voice trembled perceptibly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are very good,” he answered in a tone that meant
-nothing. “I would not trouble you if it did not seem
-necessary. I have been talking about the matter to your
-sister at dinner. I wish you to know that I have had
-nothing to do with the invention of the story that is
-going the rounds of the town. I have denied it to every
-one, and I shall continue to deny it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance glanced timidly at him, and then sighed as
-though she were relieved of a burden.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad you have told me,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you believe me?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have always believed everything you have told me,
-and I always shall. But if you had told some one what
-everybody is repeating, I should not have blamed you.
-It would have been almost true.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not say things which are only almost true,”
-said George very coldly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance’s face, which had regained some of its natural
-colour while she had been speaking with him, grew
-very white again, her lip trembled and there were tears
-in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you always going to treat me like this?” she
-asked, pronouncing the words with difficulty, as though
-a sob were very near.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>If George had said one kind word at that moment, his
-history and hers might have been very different from
-that day onwards. But the wound he had received was
-yet too fresh, and moreover he was angry with her for
-showing a tendency to cry, and he hardened his heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I trust,” he answered in a chilly tone, “that we shall
-always meet on the best of terms.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A long silence followed, during which it was evident
-that Constance was struggling to maintain some appearance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_212'>212</span>of outward calm. When she felt that she could
-command her strength, she rose and left him without
-another word. It was the only thing left for her to do.
-She could not allow herself to break down in a room full
-of people, before every one, and she could not stay where
-she was without bursting into tears. She had humbled
-herself to the utmost, she had been ready to offer every
-atonement in her power, and he had met her with a
-face of stone and a voice that cut her like steel.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>That was the last time he saw her before the summer
-season. She and her sister left town suddenly the next
-day and George was left to his own devices and to the
-tender consolation that was showered upon him by Totty
-Trimm. But he was not easily consoled. As the days
-followed each other his face grew darker and his humour
-more gloomy. He could neither work nor read with any
-satisfaction and he found even less pleasure in the society
-of men and women than in his own. He would not have
-married Constance now, if she had offered herself to him,
-and implored him to take her. If it had been possible,
-he would gladly have gone abroad for a few months, in
-the hope of forgetting what had happened to him amidst
-the varied discomforts, amusements and interests of
-travelling. But he could not throw up certain engagements
-he had contracted, though at first it seemed impossible
-to fulfil them. He promised himself that as soon
-as he had accomplished his task he would start upon a
-journey without giving himself the trouble of defining
-its ultimate direction. For the present he remained
-sullenly in New York, sitting for hours at his table, a
-pen held idly between his fingers, his uneasy glance
-wandering from the paper before him to the wall opposite,
-from the wall to the window, from the window to
-his paper again. He was neither despondent nor hopeless.
-The more impossible he found it to begin his work,
-the more unyieldingly he forced himself to sit in his
-chair, the more doggedly he stuck to his determination.
-Writing had always seemed easy to him before, and he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_213'>213</span>admitted no reason for its being hard now. With iron
-resolution he kept his place, revolving in his mind every
-situation and story of which he had ever heard and of
-which he believed he could make use. But though he
-turned, and twisted, and tormented every idea that presented
-itself, he could find neither plot nor scene nor
-characters in the aching void of his brain. Hour after
-hour, day after day, he did his best, growing thinner
-and more tired every day, feeling each afternoon more
-exhausted by the fruitless contest he was sustaining
-against the apathy of his intelligence. But when the
-stated time for work was past, and he pushed back the
-sheet of paper, sometimes as white as when he had taken
-it in the morning, sometimes covered with incoherent
-notes that were utterly worthless, when he felt that he
-had done his duty and could not be held responsible for
-the miserable result, when his head ached, his brow was
-furrowed, and his sight had become uncertain, then at
-last he gave himself up to the contemplation of his own
-wretchedness and to the pain of his utter desolation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty did her best to attract him to her house as often
-as possible. He was vaguely surprised that she should
-stay so long in town, but he troubled himself very little
-about her motives, and as he never made any remark to
-her on the subject, she volunteered no explanation. She
-would have found it hard to invent one if she had been
-pressed to do so. It was hotter than usual at that season,
-and Mamie was greatly in need of a change. Totty
-could not plead a desire to make economies as a plausible
-excuse with any chance of being believed, and even
-Tom Craik, whose health usually supplied her with
-reasons for doing anything she wanted to do, had betaken
-himself to Newport. She seemed to have lost her interest
-in his movements and doings of late and had begun
-to express a pious belief that only heaven itself could
-interfere successfully when a man took such rash liberties
-with his health. Mr. Craik, indeed, lived by the
-book of arithmetic as Tybalt fought, his food was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_214'>214</span>weighed, his hours of sleep and half-hours of repose
-were counted and regulated by untiring attendants, the
-thickness of his clothing at each season was prescribed
-by a great authority and his goings out and comings in
-were registered for the latter’s inspection, carriage-makers
-invented vehicles for his use, upholsterers devised
-systems of springs and cushions for his rest and when he
-travelled he performed his journeys in his own car. It
-was hard to see where Totty could have been of use to
-him, since he did not care for her conversation and
-could buy better advice than she could give.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>If George had even suspected that Totty was responsible
-for the report spread concerning him and Constance,
-he would have renounced his cousin’s acquaintance and
-would never have entered her house again, not even for
-the sake of his old friendship with Sherry Trimm. But
-Totty’s skill and tact had not been at fault. In her own
-opinion she had made one failure in her life and one
-mistake. She had failed to induce her brother to change
-his will a second time, and she had committed a very
-grave error in opening the will itself in the strong room
-instead of bringing it home with her and lifting the seal
-with a hot knife, so as to be able to restore it with all
-its original appearance of security. The question of the
-will still disturbed her, but she was not a cowardly
-woman, and, in particular, she was not afraid of her
-husband. If worst came to worst, she would throw herself
-upon his mercy, confess her curiosity, give him back
-the document, clear her conscience and let him scold as
-he pleased. He would never tell any one, and Totty
-was not afraid of making great personal sacrifices when
-she could escape from a situation in no other way. At
-the present time the main thing of importance was to
-please George, and to induce him to make her house his
-own as much as possible. If Sherrington, knowing
-George’s financial situation, came back and found him
-engaged to marry Mamie, it would not be human in him
-to bear malice against his wife for the part she had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_215'>215</span>played. Remorse she had none. She only regretted
-that she should have so far forgotten her caution as to
-do clumsily what she had done. She would neither fail
-nor make mistakes again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She knew what she meant to do, and she knew how to
-do it. A man in George’s situation is not easily affected
-by words no matter how skilfully put together nor how
-kindly uttered. He either does not hear them at all, or
-pays no attention to them, or puts no faith in them. It
-is more easy to soothe his humour by giving him agreeable
-surroundings than by talking to him. He has no
-appetite, but he may be tempted by new and exquisite
-dishes. He wants stimulants, and an especial brand of
-very dry champagne flatters his palate, exhilarates his
-nervous system and produces no evil consequences. He
-smokes more than is good for him, and in that case it is
-better that he should smoke the most delicate cigars
-imported directly from Havana, than that he should
-saturate his brain with nicotine from a vulgar pipe—Totty
-thought all pipes vulgar. The love-lorn wretch is
-uneasy, but he is less restless when he is left to himself
-for half an hour after dinner, in an absolutely perfect
-easy-chair, with an absolutely perfect light, and with all
-the newest and greatest reviews of the world at his
-elbow. He loathes the thought of conversational effort,
-but he can listen with a lazy satisfaction to the social
-chatter of a clever mother and her beautiful daughter,
-or his sensitive ears may even bear the reading aloud of
-the last really good novel. It is distressing to learn the
-next day that he does not remember the name of the
-hero nor the colour of the heroine’s hair, and that he
-does not care to hear any more of the book. But it is no
-matter. Feminine invention is not at an end. It is
-late in May and there is a full moon. Would he enjoy
-a drive in the Park? He may smoke in the open carriage,
-if he pleases, for both the ladies like it. Or it
-will be Sunday to-morrow, and he never works on Sunday.
-Would it be very wrong to run out for the day on
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_216'>216</span>board of Mr. Craik’s yacht, instead of going to church?
-Totty has the use of the yacht whenever she likes, and
-she can take her prayer-book on board and read the service
-with Mamie while George lies on deck and meditates.
-It is a steam-yacht, and it is no matter whether the
-weather is calm or not. If he likes they can go up the
-river with her instead. Or would he not care to have a
-horse waiting for him at seven in the morning at the corner
-of the Park? There are all those horses eating their
-heads off. It would be too early for Mamie to ride with
-him, unless he positively insists upon it, but it could
-not interfere with his day’s work. He has forgotten to
-write a letter? Poor fellow, when he has been working
-all day long. It is a very important letter, and must be
-posted to-night. There is the luxurious writing-table
-with its perfect appliances, its shaded candles, the beautiful
-“<span lang="la" xml:lang="la">Charta Perfecta</span>,” the smoothly-flowing ink that is
-changed every morning, the very pens he always uses,
-the spotless blotting-paper, wax and seals, if he needs
-them, and postage-stamps ready and separated from each
-other in the silver box—there is even a tiny sponge set
-in a little stand on which to moisten them, lest the
-coarse taste of the Government gum should offend the
-flavour of the Turkish coffee he has been drinking. He
-has an idea? He would like to make notes? There is
-the library beyond that door. It is lighted. He has
-only to shut himself in as long as he pleases. There is
-a box of those cigars on the table. He has forgotten his
-handkerchief? A touch of the bell, an order, and here
-are two of dear Sherrington’s, silk or linen, whichever
-he prefers. The evening is hot? The windows are open
-and there is a mint-julep with a straw in it by his side.
-Or is it a little chilly? Everything is closed, the lamps
-are all lighted, and the subtle perfume of Imperial tea
-floats on the softened air. All is noiseless, perfect,
-soothing, beyond description, and yet so natural that he
-cannot feel as though it gave the least thought or trouble,
-nor as if it were all skilfully prepared for his especial
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_217'>217</span>benefit. He wonders why Sherry Trimm ever goes to
-the club, when he could spend his evenings in such a
-home, he closes his eyes, thinks of his unwritten book
-and asks himself whether the wheel of fortune will ever
-in its revolutions give him a right of his own to such
-supreme refinement of comfort.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It would have been strange, indeed, if George’s humour
-had not been somewhat softened by so much luxury. He
-had liked what he could taste of it in his old days, when
-Totty had hardly ever asked him to dinner and had never
-expected to see him in the evening, in the days when he
-was a poor, unhappy nobody, and only a shabby relation
-of Mrs. Sherrington Trimm’s. There had not been much
-done for his comfort then, when he came to the house,
-but the softness of the carpets, the elasticity of the easy-chairs
-and the harmony of all details had seemed delightful
-to him, and Totty had always been kind and
-good-natured. But he had seen many things in the last
-two years, and was by no means so ready to be pleased
-as he had been when his only evening coat had been in
-a chronic state of repair. He had eaten terrapin and
-canvas-back off old Saxon china, and he had looked upon
-the champagne when it was of the most expensive
-quality. He had dined in grandeur with men whose
-millions were legion, and he had supped with epicures
-who knew what they got for their money. He had seen
-all sorts of society in his native city, all sorts of vulgar
-display, all sorts of unostentatious but enormously expensive
-luxury, all sorts of gilded splendour, and all
-sorts of faultless refinements in taste. But now, after
-he had dined and spent the evening with Totty half a
-dozen times in the course of a fortnight, he was ready to
-admit that he had never been in an establishment so perfect
-at all points, so quietly managed, so absolutely
-comfortable and so unpretentiously sybaritic in all its
-details. Totty and her husband were undoubtedly rich,
-but they were no richer than hundreds of people he
-knew. It was not money alone that produced the results
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_218'>218</span>he saw, and the certainty that the household was managed
-upon a sort of artistic principle of enjoyment gave
-him intense satisfaction. There was the same difference
-between Totty’s way of living and that of most of her
-friends, that there is between a piece of work done by
-hand and the stereotyped copy of it made by machinery,
-the same difference there is between an illuminated
-manuscript and its lithographed fac-simile. The one is
-full of the individuality of the great artist, the other
-presents the perfection of execution without inspiration.
-The one charms, the other only pleases.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George appreciated most thoroughly at the end of the
-first week everything he ate, drank, felt and saw at his
-cousin’s house, and what he heard was by no means as
-wearisome to his intelligence as he had supposed that it
-must be. Totty was far too clever a woman to flatter
-him openly, for she was keen enough to perceive that he
-was one of those men who feel a sort of repulsion for the
-work they have done and who put little faith in the judgment
-of others concerning it. She soon found out that
-he did not care to see his books lying upon the drawing-room
-table and that he suspected her of leaving them
-there with the deliberate intention of flattering him.
-They disappeared into the shelves of the library and were
-seen no more. But when George was reading the papers
-or a review—a form of rudeness in which she constantly
-encouraged him, she occasionally took the opportunity of
-introducing into her quiet conversation with Mamie some
-expression or some thought which he had used or developed
-in his writings. She avoided quotation, which she
-had always considered vulgar, and exercised her ingenuity
-in letting his favourite ideas fall from her lips in a perfectly
-natural manner. Though he was not supposed to
-be listening, he often heard her remarks, and was unconsciously
-pleased. The subtlety of the flatterer could go
-no further. Nor was that part of the talk which concerned
-himself neither directly nor indirectly by any
-means tiresome. Totty possessed very good powers of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_219'>219</span>conversation, and could talk very much better than most
-women when she pleased. If she pretended to abhor the
-name of culture and generally affected an air of indifference
-to everything that did not affect her neighbours or
-herself, she did so with a wise premeditation and an
-excellent judgment of her hearers’ capacities. But her
-own husband was fond of more intelligent subjects, and
-was a man of varied experience and wide reading, who
-liked to talk of what he read and saw. Totty’s memory
-was excellent, and as she gave herself almost as much
-trouble to please Sherrington as she was now taking to
-please George, she had acquired the art of amusing her
-husband without any apparent exertion. What she said
-was never very profound, unless she had got it by heart,
-but the matter of it was generally clear and very fairly
-well expressed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As for Mamie, she was perfectly happy, for she was
-unconsciously very much in love with George, and to see
-him so often and in such intimacy was inexpressibly delightful.
-It was a pleasure even to see him sitting silent
-in his chair, it was happiness to hear him speak and it
-was positive joy to wait upon him. She had been more
-disturbed than she had been aware by his evident devotion
-to Constance Fearing during the winter. The
-gossip about the broken engagement had given her the
-keenest pain, due to the fact, as she supposed, that Constance
-was totally unworthy of the man she had jilted.
-But George’s own assurance that no engagement had ever
-existed had driven the clouds from her sky, although his
-own subsequent conduct might well have aroused her
-suspicions. Totty, however, took good care to explain
-to her that the talk had been entirely without foundation
-and that George’s silence and gloomy ways were the result
-of overwork. She hoped, she said, to induce him to
-spend the summer with them and to give himself a long
-rest.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_220'>220</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XVI.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>“Dear George,” said Totty, one evening near the end
-of May, “I hate the idea of going away and leaving you
-here in the heat!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So do I,” answered George, thoughtfully, as he
-turned in his chair and looked at his cousin’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sure you will fall ill. There will be nobody to
-take care of you, no place where you can drop in to dinner
-when you feel inclined, and where you can do just
-as you like. And yet—you see how Mamie is looking!
-I cannot conscientiously keep her here any longer.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good heavens, Totty, you must not think of it! You
-do not mean to say you have been waiting here only on
-my account?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty Trimm hesitated, withdrew one tiny foot, of
-which the point had projected beyond the skirt of her
-tea-gown, and then put out the other and looked at it
-curiously. They were both so small and pointed that
-George could not have told which was the right and
-which the left. She hesitated because she had not anticipated
-the question. George was not like other men.
-He would not be flattered by merely being informed
-that the whole Sherrington Trimm establishment had
-been kept up a month beyond the usual time, on a war
-footing, as it were, for his sole and express benefit. Most
-men would be pleased at being considered of enough importance
-to be told such a thing, though they might not
-believe the statement altogether. It was necessary that
-George should know that Totty was speaking the truth,
-if she answered his question directly. She hesitated and
-looked at the point of her little slipper.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What does it matter?” she asked, suddenly, looking
-up and smiling at him affectionately.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was very well done. The strongest asseverations
-could not have expressed more clearly her readiness to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_221'>221</span>sacrifice everything she could to his comfort. George
-was touched.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have been very good to me, Totty. I cannot
-thank you enough.” He took her hand and pressed it
-warmly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is the use of having friends unless they will
-stand by you?” she asked, returning the pressure, while
-her face grew grave and sad.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Since she had written her first note after his disappointment,
-she had never referred to his troubles. He
-had answered her on that occasion as he answered every
-one, by saying that there had never been any engagement,
-and he had marvelled at her exceeding tact in avoiding
-the subject ever since. Her reference to it now, however,
-seemed natural, and did not hurt him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have been more than a friend to me,” he answered.
-“I feel as though you were my sister—only, if
-you were, I suppose I should be less grateful.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, you would not,” said Totty with a smile of genuine
-pleasure produced of course by the success of her
-operations. “Do you want to do something to please
-me? Something to show your gratitude?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Whatever I can——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Come and spend the summer with us—no, I do not
-mean you to make a visit of a month or six weeks. Pack
-up all your belongings, come down with us and be one of
-the family, till we are ready to come back to town. Make
-your headquarters with us, write your book, go away and
-make visits for a week when you like, but consider that
-our house is your home. Will you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But, Totty, you would be sick of the sight of me——”
-Visions of an enchanted existence by the river rose before
-George’s eyes. He was to some extent intellectually
-demoralised, and every agreeable prospect in the future
-resolved itself into the thought of mental rest superinduced
-by boundless luxury and material comfort.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What an idea!” exclaimed Totty indignantly. “Besides,
-if you knew how interested I am in making the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_222'>222</span>proposal, you would see that you would be conferring a
-favour instead of accepting one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She laughed softly when she had finished the sentence,
-thinking how very true her words were.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I cannot understand how,” George answered. “Please
-explain. I really cannot see how I shall be conferring
-a favour by eating your wonderful dinners and drinking
-that champagne of Sherry’s.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty laughed again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish you would finish it! It would be ever so much
-better for his liver, if you would.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She wondered what George would think if he knew
-that a fresh supply of that particular brand of brut was
-already on its way from France, ordered in the hope that
-he might accept the invitation she was now pressing
-upon him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And as for the cook,” she continued, “he will do
-nothing unless there is a man in the party. That is it,
-George. I have told you now. Dear Sherry is not coming
-back until the autumn, and Mamie and I feel dreadfully
-unprotected down there all by ourselves. Please,
-please come and take care of us. I knew you would
-come—oh, I am so glad! It is such a relief to feel
-that you will be with us!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As indeed it was, since if George was under Totty’s
-personal supervision there would be no chance of his returning
-to his former allegiance to Constance. George
-himself saw that her reasons were not serious, and considering
-the previous conversation and its earnest tone,
-he thought that he saw through Totty’s playfulness and
-kindly wish to do a very friendly action.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will tell you what I will do,” he said. “I will
-come for a month——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—I will not have you for a month, nor for two
-months—the whole summer or nothing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So George at last consented, and left town two or three
-days later with Mrs. Sherrington Trimm and her daughter.
-He had felt that in some way he was acting weakly,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_223'>223</span>and that he had yielded too easily to his cousin’s invitation,
-but if he had been in any doubt about her sincere
-desire to keep him during the whole season, his anxiety
-was removed when as soon as he was established in his
-new quarters Totty immediately began to talk of plans
-for the months before them, in all of which George
-played a principal part, and Mamie took it for granted
-that there was to be no separation until they should all
-go back to New York together. During the first few
-days George allowed himself to be utterly idle and let
-the hours pass with an indifference to all thought which
-he had never known before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had been transported into a sort of fairyland, of
-which he had enjoyed occasional glimpses at other times,
-but which he had never had an opportunity of knowing
-intimately. It was unlike anything in his experience.
-Even the journey had not reminded him of other journeys,
-for it had been performed in that luxurious privacy
-which is dear to the refined American. Mr. Craik’s yacht
-was permanently at his sister’s disposal, and on the morning
-appointed for the departure she and Mamie and
-George had driven down to the pier at their leisure and
-had gone on board. It had been but a step from the perfectly
-appointed house in the city to the equally perfect
-dwelling on the water, and only one step more from the
-snowy deck of the yacht to the flower garden before the
-country mansion on the banks of the great river. Everything
-had been ready for them, on board and on shore,
-and George could not realise when the journey was over
-that he had been carried over a distance which he formerly
-only traversed in the heat and dust of a noisy
-train, or on the crowded deck of a river steamboat. He
-had passed the hot hours sitting under the cool shade of
-a double awning, in the most comfortable of chairs
-beside Mamie Trimm and opposite to her mother. There
-had been no noise, no tramping of sailors, no blowing of
-whistles, no shouting of orders. From time to time,
-indeed, he caught a glimpse of the captain’s feet as he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_224'>224</span>paced the bridge, but that was all. At mid-day a servant
-had appeared and Totty had glanced at him, glanced at
-the table beside her and nodded. Immediately luncheon
-had been served and George had recognised the touch
-of the master in the two or three delicacies he had tasted,
-and had found in his glass wine of the famous brand
-which was said to have caused Sherry Trimm’s sufferings.
-He had divided with Mamie a priceless peach,
-which had no natural right to be ripe on the last day of
-May, and Totty had selected for him a little bunch of
-muscat grapes such as he might not have eaten in the
-south before September. George tasted the ambrosia
-and swallowed the nectar, and enjoyed the beautiful
-scenery, the two pretty faces and the pleasant voices in
-his ear, thinking, perhaps, of the old times when after
-a desperate morning’s work at reviewing trash, he had
-sat down to a luncheon of cold meat, pickles and tea.
-The thought of the contrast made the present more delightful.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The spell was not broken, and Totty’s country-house
-prolonged without interruption the series of exquisite
-sensations which had been intermittent during the last
-month in New York. If Totty had intended to play the
-part of the tempter instead of being the chief comforter,
-she could not have done it with a more diabolical skill.
-She believed that a man could always be more easily
-attacked by the senses than by his intelligence, and she
-put every principle of her belief into her acts. She
-partly knew, and partly guessed, the manner of George’s
-former life, the absence of luxury, the monotony of an
-existence in which common necessities were always provided
-for in the same way, without stint but without
-variety. Her art consisted in creating contrasts of unlike
-perfections, so that the senses, unable to decide
-between the amount of pleasure experienced yesterday,
-enjoyed to-day and anticipated to-morrow, should be kept
-in a constant state of suspended judgment. She had
-practised this system with her husband and it had often
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_225'>225</span>succeeded in persuading him to let her have her own way,
-and she practised it continually for her own personal
-satisfaction, as being the only means of extracting all
-possible enjoyment from her existence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George fell under the charm without even making an
-effort to resist it. Why, he asked himself dreamily,
-should he resist anything that was good in itself and
-harmless in its consequences? His life had all at once
-fallen in pleasant places. Should he disappoint Totty
-and give Mamie pain by a sudden determination to
-break up all their plans and return to the heat of the
-city? He could work here as well as anywhere else,
-better if there was any truth in the theory that the mind
-should be more active when the body is subject to no
-pain or inconvenience. A deal of asceticism had been
-forced upon him since he had been seventeen years old,
-and he believed that a surfeit of luxuries would do him
-no harm now. He would get tired of it all, no doubt,
-and would be very glad to go back to his more simple
-existence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty, however, was far too accomplished an Epicurean
-to allow her patient a surfeit of anything. She watched
-him more narrowly than he supposed and was ready
-with a change, not when she saw signs of fatigue in his
-manner, his face or his appetite, but before that, as soon
-as she had seen that he was pleased. She was playing a
-great game and her attention never relaxed. There was
-a fortune at stake of which he himself did not dream,
-and of which even she did not know the extent. She
-had everything in her favour. The coast was clear, for
-Sherrington was in Europe. The final scene was prepared,
-since Mamie was already in love with George.
-She herself was a past master of scene-shifting and her
-theatre was well provided with properties of every
-description. All that was necessary was that the hero
-should take a fancy to the heroine. But the very fact
-that it all looked so easy aroused Totty’s anxiety. She
-said to herself that what appeared to be most simple was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_226'>226</span>often, in reality, most difficult, and she warned herself
-to be careful and diffident of success.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Fortunately Mamie was all she could desire her to be.
-She did not believe in beauty as a means of attracting a
-disappointed man. Beauty could only draw his mind
-into making comparisons, and comparisons must revive
-recollection and reawaken regret. She had more faith
-in Mamie’s subtle charm of manner, voice and motion
-than she would have had in all the faultless perfections
-of classic features, queenly stature and royal carriage.
-That charm of hers, gave her an individuality of her
-own, such as Constance Fearing had never possessed, unlike
-anything that George had ever noticed in other girls
-or women. Doubtless he might have too much of that,
-too, as well as of other things, but Totty was even more
-cautious of the effects she produced with Mamie than of
-those she brought about by her minute attention to the
-management of her house. And here her greatest skill
-appeared, for she had to play a game of three-sided
-duplicity. She had to please George, without wearying
-him, to regulate the intercourse between the two so as to
-suit her own ends, and to invent reasons for making
-Mamie behave as she desired that she should without
-communicating to the girl a word of her intentions. If
-George appeared to have been enjoying especially a quiet
-conversation with Mamie, he must be prevented from
-talking to her again alone for at least twenty-four hours,
-and even then he must be allowed to please himself in
-the matter. This was not easy, for Mamie was by this
-time blindly in love with him, and if she were not
-watched would be foolish enough to bore him by her
-frequent presence at his side. To keep her away from
-him long enough to make him want her company needed
-much diplomacy. If George went out for a turn in the
-garden, and if Mamie joined him without an invitation,
-Totty could not pursue the pair in order to protect George
-from being bored. Hitherto also, Mamie had made no
-confidences to her mother and did not seem inclined to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_227'>227</span>make any. Manifestly, if an accident could happen by
-which Mamie could be brought to betray herself to her
-careful parent, great advantages would ensue. The
-careful parent would then appear as the firm and skilful
-ally of the love-lorn daughter, the two would act in concert
-and great results might be effected. Totty was not
-only really fond of George, in her own way, but it would
-not have suited her that a hair of his head should be
-injured. Nevertheless, she nourished all sorts of malicious
-hopes against him at this stage. She wished that
-he might be thrown from his horse and brought home
-unhurt but insensible, or that he might upset his boat
-on the river under Mamie’s eyes—in short that something
-might happen to him which should give Mamie a
-shock and throw her into her mother’s arms.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Providence, however, did not come to Totty’s assistance
-and she was thrown upon her own resources, aided
-in some small degree by an extraneous circumstance.
-The marriage of John Bond and Grace Fearing had been
-talked of for a long time, and Totty one morning learned
-that it was to take place immediately. She could not
-guess why they had chosen to be married in the very
-middle of the summer, when all their friends were out
-of town, and she had no inclination to go to the wedding,
-which was to be conducted without any great gathering
-or display of festivity. John Bond, as being Sherrington
-Trimm’s partner and an old friend of Totty’s, urged
-her of course to come down to town for the occasion and
-to bring Mamie, but the heat was intense, and as there
-would be nothing to see and no one present with whom
-she would care to talk, and nothing good to eat, and, on
-the whole, nothing whatever to do except to grin and
-look pleased, Totty made up her mind that she would
-have nothing to do with the affair, beyond sending Grace
-an expensive present. There were no regular invitations
-sent out, and George received no notice of what was
-happening. Totty, however, did not lose the opportunity
-of talking to Mamie about it all, with a view to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_228'>228</span>sounding her views upon matrimony in general and
-upon her own future in particular.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Johnnie Bond is such a fine fellow!” said Totty to
-her daughter, when they had been talking for some time.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie admitted that he was a very fine fellow, indeed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tell me, Mamie,” said her mother, assuming a tone
-at once cheerful and confidential, “is not Johnnie Bond
-very nearly your ideal of what a husband ought to be?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not in the least!” answered the young girl promptly.
-Totty looked very much surprised.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No? Why, Mamie, I thought you always liked him
-so much!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So I do, in a way. But he is not at all in my style,
-mamma.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is your style, as you call it?” Totty seemed
-intensely interested as she paused for an answer. Mamie
-blushed, and looked down at a piece of work she was
-holding.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—to begin with,” she said, speaking quickly,
-“Mr. Bond is three-quarters lawyer and one-quarter
-idiot. At least I believe so. And all the rest of him
-is boating and tennis and—everything one does, you
-know—sport and all that. I never heard him make an
-intelligent remark in his life, though papa says he is as
-clever as they make them, for a lawyer of course. You
-know what I mean, mamma. He is one of those dreadfully
-earnest young men, who do everything with a purpose,
-as if it meant money, and they meant to get it.
-Oh, I could not bear to marry one of them! They are
-all exactly alike—so many steam engines turned out by
-the same maker!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear me, Mamie!” laughed Mrs. Trimm. “What
-very decided opinions you have!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose Grace Fearing has decided opinions, too,
-in the opposite direction, or she would not have married
-him. I never can understand her, either, with those
-great dark eyes and that determined expression—she
-looks like a girl out of a novel, and I believe there is no
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_229'>229</span>more romance about her than there is in a hat-stand!
-There cannot be, if she likes Master Johnnie Bond—and
-there is no reason why she should marry him unless she
-does like him, is there?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“None that I can see, but that is a very good one—good
-enough for any one, I should think. You would
-not care for Johnnie Bond, but you may care for some
-one else. You have not told me what your ideal would
-be like.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Where is the use? You ought to know, mamma,
-without being told.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course I ought, child—only I am so stupid.
-Would he be dark or fair?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dark,” answered the young girl, bending over her
-work.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And clever, I suppose? Of course. And slender,
-and romantic to look at?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, don’t, mamma! Talk about something else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why? I am not sure that we might not agree about
-the ideal.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No!” exclaimed Mamie with a little half scornful
-laugh. “We should never agree about him, because I
-would like him poor.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You can afford to marry a poor man, if you please,”
-said Totty, thoughtfully. “But would you not be afraid
-that he loved your money better than yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No indeed! I should love him, and then—I should
-believe in him, of course.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then I do not see why you should not marry your
-ideal after all, my dear. Come, darling—we both know
-whom we are talking about. Why not say it to each
-other? I would help you then. I am almost as fond of
-him as you are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie blushed quickly and then turned pale. She
-looked suspiciously at her mother.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are not in earnest, mamma,” she said, after a
-short pause.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed I am, child,” answered Mrs. Trimm, meeting
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_230'>230</span>her gaze fearlessly. “Do you think that I have not
-known it for a long time? And do you think I would
-have brought him here if I had not been perfectly willing
-that you should marry him?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The young girl suddenly sprang up and threw her
-arms round her mother’s neck.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh mamma, mamma! This is too good! Too good!
-Too good!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear child!” exclaimed Totty, kissing her affectionately.
-“Is not your happiness always the first thing in
-my mind? Would I not sacrifice everything for that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—you are so sweet and dear. I know you
-would,” said Mamie, sitting down beside her and resting
-her head upon her mother’s plump little shoulder. “But
-you see—I thought that nobody knew, because we have
-always been together so much. And then I thought you
-would think what you just said, about the money, you
-know. But it is not true—I mean it would not be true.
-He would never care for that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” answered Totty, almost forgetting herself. “I
-should think not! I mean—with his character—he is
-so honourable and fair—like your papa in that. But
-Mamie, darling, do you think he——?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty stopped, conveying the rest of her question by
-means of an inquiringly sympathetic smile. Mamie
-shook her head a little sadly, and looked down.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am afraid he never will,” she said, in a low voice.
-“And yet he should, for I—oh mother! I love him so—you
-will never know!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She buried her face and her blushes in her hands upon
-her mother’s shoulder. Totty patted her head affectionately
-and kissed her curls several times in a very
-motherly way. Her own face was suffused with smiles
-for she felt that she had done a very good day’s work,
-and was surprised to think that it had been accomplished
-so easily. The fact was that Mamie was only too ready
-to speak of what filled her whole life, and had more
-than once been on the point of telling her mother all she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_231'>231</span>felt. She had supposed, however, that she knew the
-ways of her mother’s wisdom, and that George’s poverty
-would always be an insuperable obstacle. She did not
-now in the least understand why Totty made so light of
-the question of money, and even in her great happiness
-at finding such ready sympathy she thought it very
-strange that she should have so completely mistaken her
-mother’s character.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>From that day, however, there was a tacit understanding
-between the two. Mamie was in that singular and
-not altogether dignified position in which a woman finds
-herself when she loves a man and has determined to win
-him, though she is not loved in return. There are
-doubtless many young women in the world who, whether
-for love or for interest, have wooed and won their present
-husbands, though the latter have never found it out,
-and would not believe it if it were told to them. Mamie
-differed from most of these, however, in that she was as
-modest as she was loving, and in her real distrust of her
-own advantages, which defect, or quality, was perhaps
-at the root of her peculiar charm. She knew that she
-was not beautiful, and she believed that beauty was a
-woman’s strongest weapon. She had yet to learn that
-the way to men’s hearts is not always through their
-eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>After her confession to her mother she began to discover
-the value of that ingenious lady’s experience and
-tact. At first, indeed, she felt a modest hesitation in
-coolly doing what she was told, as a means of winning
-George’s heart, but she soon found out that her mother
-was always right and that she herself was generally
-wrong.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is only one way of doing things,” said Totty,
-one day, “and that is the right way. There is only one
-thing that a man really hates, and that is, being bored.
-And men are very easily bored, my dear. A man likes
-to have everything done for him in the most perfect way,
-but it spoils his enjoyment to feel that it is done especially
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_232'>232</span>for him and for nobody else. If you are afraid he
-will catch cold, do not run after him with his hat, as
-though he were an invalid. That is only an example,
-Mamie. Men have an immense body of tradition to
-sustain, and they do it by keeping up appearances as
-well as they can. All men are supposed to be brave,
-strong, honourable, enduring and generous. They are
-supposed never to feel hot when we do, nor to catch
-cold when we should. It is a part of their stage character
-never to be afraid of anything, and many of them
-are far more timid than we are. I do not mean to say
-that dear George has not all the qualities a man ought
-to have. Certainly not. He is quite the finest fellow I
-ever knew. But he does not want you to notice the fact.
-He wants you to take it for granted, just as much as
-little Tippy Skiffington does, who is afraid of a mouse
-and would not touch a dog that had no muzzle on for all
-he is worth, which is saying a great deal. Dear George
-would not like it to be supposed that he cares for terrapin
-and dry champagne any more than for pork and beans—and
-yet the dear fellow is keenly alive to the difference.
-He does not want it to be thought he could ever
-be bored by you or me, but he knows that we know that
-he might be, and he expects us to use tact and to leave
-him alone sometimes, even for a whole day. He will be
-much more glad to see us the next time we meet him
-and will show it by giving himself much more trouble
-to be agreeable. It is not true that if you run away
-men will follow you. They are far too lazy for that.
-You must come to them, but not too often. What they
-most want is amusement, and between their amusements,
-to be allowed to do exactly what their high and mighty
-intellects suggest to them, without comment. Never ask
-a man where he has been, what he has seen, nor what he
-has heard. If he has anything to tell, he will tell you,
-and if he has not you only humiliate him by discovering
-the emptiness of his thoughts. Always ask his opinion.
-If he has none himself, he knows somebody who has, no
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_233'>233</span>matter what the subject may be. The difference between
-men and women is very simple, my dear. Women look
-greater fools than they are, and men are greater fools
-than they look—except in the things they know how to
-do and do well.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George is not a fool about anything!” said Mamie
-indignantly. She had been listening with considerable
-interest to her mother’s homily.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George, my dear,” answered Totty, “is very foolish
-not to be in love with you at the present moment. Or,
-if he is, he is very foolish to hide it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish you would not talk like that, mamma! I am
-not half good enough for him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Nevertheless Mamie consulted her mother and was
-guided by her. George would ride—should she accept
-his proposal and go with him or not? A word, a glance
-decided the matter for her, and George was none the
-wiser. He could not help thinking, however, that Mamie
-was becoming an extremely tactful young person, as well
-as a most agreeable companion. One day he could not
-resist his inclination to tell her so.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How clever you are, Mamie!” he exclaimed after a
-pause in the conversation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I? Clever?” The girl’s face expressed her innocent
-astonishment at the compliment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. You are a most charming person to live with.
-How in the world did you know that I wanted to be
-alone yesterday, and that I wanted you to come with me
-to-day?” George laughed. “Do I not always ask you
-to come with me in precisely the same tone? Do I not
-always look as though I wanted you to come? How do
-you always know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie was conscious that she blushed even more than
-she usually did when she was momentarily embarrassed.
-Indeed, the blush had two distinct causes on the present
-occasion. She had at first been delighted by the compliment
-he had paid her, and then, immediately afterwards,
-when he explained what he meant, she had felt her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_234'>234</span>shame burning in her face. On the previous day, as
-on the present afternoon, she had blindly followed her
-mother’s advice, given by an almost imperceptible motion
-of the head and eyes that had indicated a negation
-on the first occasion and assent on the second. She
-was silent now, and could find no words with which to
-answer his question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How do you do it?” he asked again, wondering at
-her embarrassment, and slackening the pace at which he
-rowed, for they were in a boat together towards sunset.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie’s eyes suddenly filled with hot tears and she
-hid her face with her small hands.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why, Mamie dear, what is it?” George asked, resting
-on his oars and leaning forward.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“O George,” she sobbed, “if you only knew!”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XVII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George did not forget Mamie’s strange behaviour in
-the boat, and he devoted much time to the study of the
-problem it presented. To judge from the girl’s conduct
-alone, she must be in love with him, and yet he did not
-like the idea and took the greatest pains to keep it out of
-his mind. He was not in the humour in which it is a
-pleasant surprise to a man to discover unexpected affection
-for himself in a quarter where he has not expected
-to find it. Moreover, if he had once made sure that
-Mamie loved him, he would probably have thought it
-his duty to go away as quickly as possible. Such a
-decision would have deprived him of much that he
-enjoyed and it was desirable in the interests of his selfishness
-that it should be put off as long as possible.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At that time George began to feel the desire for work
-creeping upon him once more. During a few weeks only
-had it been in his power to put away the habit of writing,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_235'>235</span>and to close his eyes to all responsibility. Those
-had been days when the whole world had seemed to be
-upside down, as in a dream, while he himself moved in
-the midst of a disordered creation, uncertainty, like a
-soulless creature, without the capacity for independent
-action nor the intelligence to form any distinct intention
-from one moment to another. He took what he found
-in his way without understanding, though not without
-an odd appreciation of what was good, very much as
-Eastern princes receive European hospitality. He was
-grateful at least that his life should be made so smooth
-for the time, for he was dimly conscious that anything
-outwardly rough or coarse would have exasperated him to
-madness. He believed that he thought a great deal about
-the past, but when he attempted to give his meditations
-a shape, they would accept none. In reality he was not
-thinking, though the mirror of his memory was filled
-with fleeting reflections of his former life, some clear
-and startlingly vivid, others distorted and broken, but
-all more or less beautified by the shadowy presence of a
-being he had loved better than himself, and from whom
-he was separated for ever.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>With such a man, however, idleness was as impossible
-as the desire for expression was irresistible. Since he
-had written his first book, and had discovered what it was
-that he was born to do, he had taken up a burden which
-he could not lay down and had sworn allegiance to a
-master from whom he could not escape. Not even the
-bitter and overwhelming disappointment that had come
-upon him could kill the desire to write. He was almost
-ashamed of it at first, for he felt that though everything
-he loved best in the world were dead before him, he
-should be driven within a few weeks to take up his pen
-again and open his inner eyes and ears to the play of his
-mind’s stage.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The power to do certain things is rarely separated
-from the necessity for doing them, and the fact that they
-are well done by no means proves that the doer has forgotten
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_236'>236</span>the blow that recently overwhelmed his heart in
-darkness and his daily life in an almost uncontrollable
-grief. There are two lives for most men, whatever their
-careers may be, and the absence of either of these lives
-makes a man produce an impression of incompleteness
-upon those who know him. When any one lives only
-by the existence of the heart, without active occupation,
-without manifesting inclination, taste or talent for outward
-things, we say that he has no interest in life, and
-is much to be pitied. But we say that a man is heartless
-and selfish who appears to devote every thought to
-his occupation and every moment to increasing the
-chances of his success. In the lives of great men we
-search with an especial pleasure for all that can show us
-the working of their hearts, and we remember with
-delight whatever we find that indicates a separate and
-inner chain of events, of which the links have been loves
-and friendships kept secret from the world. The more
-nearly the two lives have coincided, the more happy we
-judge the man to have been, the more out of tune and
-discordant with each other, the more we feel that his
-existence must have seemed a failure in his own eyes;
-and when we are told only of his doings before the world,
-without one touch of softer feeling, we lay aside the
-book of his biography and say that it is badly written
-and that we are surprised to find that a man so uninteresting
-in himself should have exercised so much influence
-over his times.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood had neither forgotten Constance, nor
-had he recovered from the wound he had received, and
-yet within a day or two of his resuming his work, he
-found that his love of it was not diminished nor his
-strength to do it abated. It was not happiness to write,
-but it was satisfaction. His hesitation was gone now,
-and his hand had recovered its cunning. He no longer
-sat for hours before a blank sheet of paper, staring at
-the wall and racking his brain in the hope that a character
-of some sort would suddenly start into shape and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_237'>237</span>life from the chaotic darkness he was facing. Until the
-first difficulties that attend the beginning of a book were
-overcome, he had still a lingering and unacknowledged
-suspicion that he could do nothing good without the daily
-criticism and unfailing applause he had been accustomed
-to receive from Constance during his former efforts.
-When he was fairly launched, he felt proud of being
-able to do without her. For the first time he was depending
-solely upon his own judgment, as he had always
-relied upon his own ideas, and his judgment decided
-that what he did was good.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>From that time the arrangement of his day took again
-the definite shape in which he had always known it, and
-the mere distribution of his hours between work and rest
-gave him back confidence in himself. He began to see
-his surroundings from a more intelligent point of view,
-and to take a keener interest in things and people.
-Though he had by no means recovered from the first
-great shock of his life, and though in his heart he was
-as bitter as ever against her who had inflicted it, yet his
-mind was already convalescent and was being rapidly
-restored to its former vigour. There was power in his
-imagination, strength in his language and harmony in
-his style. What he thought took shape, and the shape
-found expression.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He soon found that under these circumstances life was
-bearable, and often enjoyable. Very gradually, as his
-concentrated attention became absorbed in his own creations,
-the face of Constance Fearing appeared less often
-in his dreams, and the heartbroken tones of her voice
-rang less continually in his ears. He was not forgetting,
-but the physical impressions of sight and sound
-upon his senses were wearing off. Occasionally indeed
-they would return with startling force and vividness,
-awakening in him for one moment the reality of all he
-had suffered. At such times he could see again, as
-though face to face, her expression at the instant when
-she had seemed to relinquish the attempt to soften him,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_238'>238</span>and he could hear again the plaintive accents of her
-words and the painful cadence of her sobbing voice.
-But such visitations grew daily more rare and at last
-almost ceased altogether.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>For what he had done himself he felt no remorse.
-His mind was not made like hers, and he would never be
-able to understand that she had done violence to her own
-heart in casting him off. He would learn perhaps some
-day to describe what she had done, to analyse her motives
-from his own point of view, but he would never be able
-to think of her as she thought of herself. In his eyes
-she would always be a little contemptible, even when
-time’s charitable mists should have descended upon the
-past and softened all its outlines. He was cut off from
-her by one of the most impassable barriers which can be
-raised in the human heart, by his resentment against
-himself for having been deceived.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He did not ask himself whether he could ever love
-again. There was a strength in his present position,
-which almost pleased him. He had done with love and
-was free to speak of it as he chose, without regard for
-any one’s feelings, without respect for the passion itself,
-if it suited his humour. There had been nothing boyish
-in the pure and passionate affection under which he had
-lived during two of the most important years in his
-life. He had felt all that a man can feel in the deep
-devotion to one spotless object. There would never
-again be anything so high and noble and untainted in
-all the years that were to come for him, and he knew it.
-The determination he had felt to be necessary in the first
-moment of his anger had carried itself out almost without
-any direction from his will. The Constance he had
-loved so dearly, was not the Constance who had refused
-to marry him, and who had dealt him such a cruel blow.
-The two were separated and he could still love the one,
-while hating and despising the other. But although he
-might meet the girl whose face and form and look and
-voice were those of her he had lost, this second Constance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_239'>239</span>could never take the other’s place. A word from
-her could not put fire into his heart, nor raise in his
-brain the vision of a magnificent inspiration. A touch
-from her hand could send no thrill of pleasure through
-his frame, there would be no joy in looking upon her
-fair face when next he saw it. She might say to him all
-that he had once said to her, she might appeal passionately
-to the love that was now dead, she might offer him
-her heart, her body and her soul. He wanted none of
-the three now. The break had been final and definite,
-love’s path had broken off upon the edge of the precipice,
-and though she might stand on the old familiar way
-and beckon to him to come over and meet her, there was
-that between them which no man could cross.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Like all great passions the one through which George
-Wood had passed had produced upon him a definite effect,
-which could be appreciated, if not accurately measured.
-He was older in every way now than he had been two
-years and a half earlier, but older chiefly in his understanding
-of human nature. He knew, now, what men
-and women felt in certain circumstances, his instinct told
-him truly what it had formerly only vaguely suggested.
-The inevitable logic of life had taken him up as a problem,
-had dealt with him as with a subject fitted to its
-hand, and had forced upon him a solution of himself.
-Where he had entertained doubts, he now felt certainty,
-where he had hesitated in expressing the judgment of
-his tastes he now found his verdicts already considered
-and only awaiting delivery. Many months later, when
-the book he was now writing was published it was a new
-surprise to his readers. His first attempts had been
-noticeable for their beauty, his last book was remarkable
-for its truth.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Meanwhile his intimacy with Mamie grew unheeded
-by himself. During the many hours of each day in
-which he had no fixed occupation, he was almost constantly
-with her, and their conversation was at last only
-interrupted each evening to begin again the next afternoon,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_240'>240</span>when he had done his work and came out of his
-room in search of relaxation. He had never found any
-explanation for her embarrassment on that day when he
-had been rowing her about on the river, and after a time he
-had ceased to seek for one. His brain was too busy with
-other things, and what he wanted when he was with
-her was rest rather than exercise for his curiosity in trying
-to solve the small enigmas of her girlish thoughts.
-She was a very pleasant companion, and that was all he
-cared to know. She brought about him an atmosphere of
-genuine and affectionate admiration that gave him confidence
-in himself and smoothed the furrows of his imagination
-when he had been giving that faculty more to do
-than was good for it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie, too, was happier than she had been a month
-earlier. She had no longer to suffer the humiliation of
-taking her mother’s advice about what she should do,
-and she could enjoy George’s company without feeling
-that she had been told to enjoy it in her own interest.
-As she learned to love him more and more, she was quick
-also to understand his ways. Signs that had formerly
-escaped her altogether were now as clear to her comprehension
-as words themselves. She knew, now, almost
-before he knew it himself, whether he wanted her to join
-him, or not, whether he preferred to talk or to be silent,
-whether he would like this question or that which she
-thought of asking him, or whether he would resent it
-and make her feel that she had made a mistake. One
-day, she ventured to mention Constance’s name.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George had never visited the Fearings in their country-place,
-and was not aware until he came to stay with his
-cousin that they lived on the opposite shore of the river.
-Their house was not visible from the Trimms’ side, as
-it was surrounded by trees, and the stream was at that
-point nearly two miles in width. Totty, however, who
-always had a view to avoiding any possibility of anything
-disagreeable, had very soon communicated the
-information to George in an unconcerned way, while
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_241'>241</span>pointing out and naming to him the various country-seats
-that could be seen from her part of the shore. George
-did not forget what he had been told, and if he ever
-crossed the river and rowed along the other bank, he
-was careful to keep away from the Fearings’ land, in
-order to guard against any unpleasant meetings.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Now it chanced that on a certain afternoon he was
-pulling leisurely up stream towards a place where the
-current was slack, and where he occasionally moored the
-wherry to an old landing in order to rest himself and
-talk more at his ease. Mamie of course was seated in
-the stern, leaning back comfortably amongst her cushions
-and holding the tiller-ropes daintily between the
-thumb and finger of each hand. She could steer very
-well when it was necessary, and she could even row well
-enough to make some headway against the stream, but
-George had been accustomed to being alone in a boat,
-and gave her very little to do when he was rowing.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie watched him idly, as his hands shot out
-towards her, crossed as he drew them steadily back and
-turned at the wrist to feather the oar as they touched
-his chest. Then her gaze wandered down stream towards
-the other shore, and she tried to make out the roof of
-the Fearings’ house above the trees.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George,” she said suddenly, “will you be angry?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am never angry,” answered her cousin. “What
-are you going to do now? If you mean to jump out of
-the boat I will have a line ready.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I am not going to jump out of the boat. But
-I am so afraid you will be angry, after all. It is something
-I want to ask you. I am sure you will not like it!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“One way of not making me angry would be not to
-ask the question,” observed George, with a quiet smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But I want to ask you so much!” exclaimed the
-young girl, with an imploring look that made George’s
-smile turn into a laugh. He had laughed more than once
-lately, in a very natural manner.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Out with it, Mamie!” he cried, pulling his sculls
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_242'>242</span>briskly through the water. “I shall not be very angry,
-I daresay, and I have fallen out of the habit of eating
-little girls. What is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you never go and see the Fearings, George?
-You used to be there so much.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George’s expression changed, though he continued to
-row with the same even stroke. His face grew very grave
-and he unconsciously glanced across the river toward the
-place at which Mamie had looked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I knew you would be angry!” she said in a repentant
-tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” George answered, “I am not angry. I am
-thinking.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was, indeed, wondering how much of the truth the
-girl knew, and he was distrustful enough to fancy that
-she might have some object in putting the question. But
-Mamie was not diplomatic like her mother. She was
-simple and natural in her thoughts, and unaffected in her
-manner. He glanced at her again and saw that she was
-troubled by her indiscretion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did your mother never tell you anything about it
-all?” he asked after a long pause.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I only heard what everybody heard—last May,
-when the thing was talked about. I wondered—that is
-all—I wondered whether you had cared very much—for
-her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Again there was a long silence, broken only by the
-even dipping of the oars and the soft swirl as they left
-the water.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did care,” George answered at last. “I loved her
-very dearly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He did not know why he made the confession. He
-had never said so much to any one except his own father.
-If he had guessed what Mamie felt for him, he would
-assuredly not have answered her question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you very unhappy, still?” asked the young girl
-in a dreamy voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I do not think I am unhappy. I am different
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_243'>243</span>from what I was—that is all. I was at first,” he continued,
-without looking at his companion, of whose
-presence, indeed, he seemed scarcely conscious. “I was
-unhappy—yes, of course I was. I had loved her long.
-I had thought she would marry me. I found that she
-was indifferent. I shall never go and see her again. She
-does not exist for me any more—she is another person,
-whom I do not wish to know. I have loved and been
-disappointed, like many a better man, I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Loved and been disappointed!” repeated the young
-girl in a very low voice, that hardly reached his ear.
-She was looking down, carelessly tying and untying the
-ends of the tiller-ropes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. That is it,” he said as though musing on something
-very long past. “You know now why I do not go
-there.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then he quickened his stroke a little, and there was a
-sombre light in his dark eyes that Mamie could not see,
-for she was still looking down. She was glad that she
-had asked the question, seeing how he had answered it.
-There was something in his tone which told her that he
-was not mistaken about himself, and that the past was
-shut off from the present in his heart by a barrier it
-would be hard to break down.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you think you can ever love again?” she asked,
-after a while, looking suddenly into his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” he answered, avoiding her eyes. “I shall never
-love any woman again—in the same way,” he added
-after a moment’s pause.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When he looked at her, she was very pale. He remembered
-all at once how she had changed colour and
-burst into tears some weeks earlier, sitting in that same
-place before him. Something was passing in her mind
-which he could not understand. He was very slow to
-imagine that she loved him. He was so dull of comprehension
-that he all at once began to fancy she might be
-more fond of Constance Fearing than he had guessed,
-that she might be her friend, as Totty was, and that the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_244'>244</span>two had brought him to their country-house in the hope
-of soothing his anger, reviving his hopes, and bringing
-him once more into close relations with the young girl
-who had cast him off. The idea was ingenious in its
-folly, but his ready wrath rose at it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you very fond of her, Mamie?” he asked, bending
-his heavy brows and speaking in a hard metallic
-voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The blood rushed into the girl’s face as she answered,
-and her grey eyes flashed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I? I hate her! I would kill her if I could!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was completely confused. His explanation of
-Mamie’s behaviour had flashed upon him so suddenly
-that he had believed it the true one without an attempt
-to reason upon the matter. Now, it was destroyed in an
-instant by the girl’s angry reply. When one young
-woman says that she hates another, it is tolerably easy
-to judge from her tone whether she is in earnest or not.
-Though he was still sorely puzzled, the cloud disappeared
-from George’s face as quickly as it had come.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This is a revelation!” he exclaimed. “I thought you
-and your mother were devoted to them both.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would be like me, would it not?” Mamie emphasised
-her words with an angry little laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not like you to hate people so savagely,” George
-observed, looking at her closely.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should always hate anybody who hurt you—and
-I can hate, with all my heart!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you so fond of me as that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George thought that the girl was becoming every
-moment harder to understand. It had seemed a very natural
-question, since they had known each other and loved
-each other like brother and sister for so long. But he
-saw that there was something the matter. There was a
-frightened look in Mamie’s grey eyes which he had
-never seen before, as though she had come all at once
-upon a great and unexpected danger. Then all the outline
-of her face softened wonderfully with a strange and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_245'>245</span>gentle expression under the young man’s gaze. She had
-never been pretty, save for her eyes and her alabaster
-skin. For one moment, now, she was beautiful.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” she said in an uncertain voice, “I am very fond
-of you—more fond of you than you will ever know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her secret was out, though she did not realise it.
-Then for the first time in George’s life, though he was
-nearly thirty years of age, he looked on the face of a
-woman who loved him with all her heart, and he knew
-what love meant in another, as he had known it in himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The sun was going down behind the western hills and
-the dark water was very smooth and placid as he dipped
-his sculls noiselessly into the surface. He rowed evenly
-on for some minutes without speaking. Mamie was looking
-into the stream and drawing her white, ungloved
-hand along the glassy mirror.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you, Mamie,” he said at last, very gently and
-kindly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Again there was silence as they shot along through the
-purple shadows.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And you, are you fond of me?” asked the young girl,
-looking furtively towards him, then blushing and gazing
-once more into the depths of the stream. George started
-slightly. He had not thought that the question would
-come.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed I am,” he answered. He thought he heard a
-sigh on the rising evening breeze. “I grow more fond
-of you every day,” he added quietly, though he felt that
-he was very far from calm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So far as he had spoken, his words had been truthful.
-He was becoming more attached to Mamie every day,
-and she was beginning to take the place that Constance
-had occupied in his doings if not in his thoughts. But
-there was not a spark of love in his growing affection
-for her, and the discovery he had just made disturbed
-him exceedingly. He had never blamed himself for
-anything he had done in his intercourse with Constance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_246'>246</span>Fearing, but he accused himself now of having misled
-the innocent girl who loved him and of having then, by
-a careless question, drawn from her a confession of what
-she felt. It flashed upon him suddenly that he had taken
-Constance’s place, and Mamie had taken his; that he had
-been thoughtless and cruel in all he had said and done
-during the last two months, and that she might well reproach
-him with having been heartless. A thousand
-incidents flooded his memory and crowded together upon
-his brain, and each brought with it a sting to his sense
-of honour. He had inadvertently done a great harm,
-and it had been done since his coming to the country.
-Before that, Mamie had felt for him exactly what he still
-felt for her, a simple, open-hearted affection. Remembering
-the brief struggle that had taken place in his mind
-before he had accepted Totty’s invitation, he accused
-himself of having known beforehand what would happen,
-and of having weakly yielded because he had liked the
-prospect of leading so luxurious an existence. What
-surprised him, however, and threw all his reflections out
-of balance was that Totty herself should not have foreseen
-the disaster, Totty the diplomatic, Totty the
-worldly, Totty the covetous, who would as soon have
-given her daughter to one of her servants as to penniless
-George Wood! It was past comprehension. Yet, in
-spite of his distress, he could hardly repress a smile as
-he imagined what Totty’s rage would be, should he marry
-Mamie and carry her off before the eyes of her horrified
-parent. Sherrington Trimm, himself, would be as well
-satisfied with him as with any other honest man, if he
-were sure of Mamie’s inclinations.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Now, however, something must be done at once. He
-was not a weak creature, like Constance Fearing, to hesitate
-for months and years, practising a deception upon
-himself which he had not the courage to carry to the end.
-He even regretted the last words he had spoken, and
-which had been prompted by a foolish wish not to hurt
-the girl’s feelings. It would have been better if he had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_247'>247</span>left them unsaid. The situation must be defined, the
-harm arrested, if it could not be undone, and should it
-seem necessary, as it probably would, he himself must
-leave the place on the following morning. He opened
-his mouth to speak, but the blood rushed to his face and
-he could not articulate the words. He was overcome
-with shame and remorse and he would have chosen to do
-anything, to undergo any humiliation rather than this.
-But in a moment his strong nature gathered itself and
-grew strong, as it always did in the face of great difficulties.
-He hated hesitation and he would not hesitate,
-cost what it might. He was not cowardly, and he would
-not be afraid.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie,” he said, suddenly, and he wondered how his
-voice could be so gentle, “Mamie, I do not love you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had expected everything, except what happened.
-Mamie looked into his eyes, and once again in the evening
-light the expression of her love transfigured her half
-pretty face and lent it a completeness of beauty such as
-he had never seen.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have you not told me that, dear?” she asked, half
-sadly, half lovingly. “It is not new. I have known it
-long.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George stared at her for a moment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I feared I had not said it clearly,” he answered in
-low tones.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Everything you have done and said has told me that,
-for two months past. Do not say it again.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I must go away from this place. I will go to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She looked up with startled eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Go away? Leave me? Ah, George, you will not be
-so unkind!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The situation was certainly as strange as it was new,
-and George was very much confused by what was happening.
-His resolution to make everything clear was, however,
-as unbending as before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie,” he said, “we must understand each other.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_248'>248</span>Things must not go on as they have gone so long. If I
-were to stay here, do you know what I should be doing?
-I should be acting towards you as Constance Fearing
-acted with me, only it would be much worse, because I
-am a man, and I have no right to do such things, as
-women have.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is different,” said the young girl, once more looking
-down into the water.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, it is not different,” George insisted. “I have no
-right to act as though I should ever love you, to make
-you think by anything I do or say, that such a thing is
-possible. I am a brute, I know. Forgive me, Mamie,
-dear. It is so much better that everything should be
-clearly understood now. We have known each other so
-long, and so well——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing that you can say will make it seem right to
-me that you should go away——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is right, nevertheless, and if I do not do it, as I
-should, I shall never forgive myself——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will forgive you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall hate myself——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will love you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall feel that I am the most miserable wretch
-alive.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall be happy.”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XVIII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George had rowed to a point where a deep indentation
-in the shore of the river offered a broad expanse of
-water in which there was but little current. He rested
-on his oars, bending his head and leaning slightly forward.
-It seemed very hard that he should suddenly be
-called upon to decide so important a question as had just
-arisen, at the very moment when he was writing the most
-difficult and interesting part of his book. To go away
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_249'>249</span>was not only to deprive himself of many things which
-he liked, and among those Mamie’s own society had
-taken the foremost place of late; it meant also to break
-the current of his ideas and to arrest his own progress at
-the most critical juncture. He remembered with loathing
-the days he had spent in his little room in New
-York, cudgelling his inert brain and racking his imagination
-for a plot, a subject, for one single character, for
-anything of which he might make a beginning. And he
-looked back to a nearer time, and saw how easily his mind
-had worked amidst its new and pleasant surroundings.
-It is no wonder that he hesitated. Only the artist can
-understand his own interest in his art; only the writer,
-and the writer of real talent, can tell what acute suffering
-it is to be interrupted in the midst of a piece of
-good work, while its success is still uncertain in the
-balance of his mind and while he still depends largely
-upon outward circumstances for the peace and quiet
-which are necessary to serious mental labour.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was not heroic, though there was a touch of
-quixotism in his nature. The temptation to stay where
-he was, had a force he had not expected. Moreover,
-whether he would or not, the expression he had twice
-seen in Mamie’s face on that afternoon, haunted him and
-fascinated him. He experienced the operation of a charm
-unknown before. He looked up and gazed at the young
-girl as she sat far back in the stern of the boat. She
-was not pretty, or at most, not more than half pretty.
-Her mouth was decidedly far too large, and her nose
-lacked outline. She had a fairly good forehead; he admitted
-that much, but her chin was too pointed and had
-little modelling in it, while her cheeks would have been
-decidedly uninteresting but for the extreme beauty of
-her complexion. She was looking down, and he could
-not see the grey eyes which were her best feature, but it
-could not be denied that the long dark drooping lashes
-and the strongly marked brown eyebrows contrasted
-very well with the transparent skin. Her hair was not
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_250'>250</span>bad, though it was impossible to say whether those little
-tangled ringlets were natural or were produced daily by
-the skilful appliance of artificial torsion. If her mouth
-was an exaggerated feature, at least the long, even lips
-were fresh and youthful, and, when parted, they disclosed
-a very perfect set of teeth. All this was true, and as
-George looked, he summed up the various points and
-decided that when Mamie wore her best expression, she
-might pass for a pretty girl.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But she possessed more than that. The catalogue did
-not explain her wonderful charm. It was not, indeed,
-complete, and as he glanced from her downcast face to
-the outlines of her shapely figure, he felt the sensation a
-man experiences in turning quickly from the examination
-of a common object, to the contemplation of one
-that is very beautiful. Psyche herself could have boasted
-no greater perfection of form and grace than belonged to
-this girl whose features were almost all insignificant.
-The triumph of proportion began at her throat, under
-the small ears that were set so close to the head, and the
-faultless lines continued throughout all the curves of
-beauty to the point of her exquisite foot, to the longest
-finger of her classic hand. Not a line was too short, not
-a line too long, there was no straightness in any one,
-and not one of them all followed too strong a curve.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George thought of Constance and made comparisons
-with a coolness that surprised himself. Constance was
-tall, straight, well grown, active; slight, indeed, but
-graceful enough, and gifted with much natural ease in
-motion. But that was all, so far as figure was concerned.
-George had seen a hundred girls with just the same advantages
-as Constance, and all far prettier than his
-cousin. Neither Constance nor any of them could compare
-with Mamie except in face. His eye rested on her
-now, when she was in repose, with untiring satisfaction,
-as his sight delighted in each new surprise of motion
-when she moved, whether on horseback, or walking, or
-at tennis. She represented to him the absolute ideal of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_251'>251</span>refined animal life, combined with something spiritual
-that escaped definition, but which made itself felt in all
-she did and said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When he thought of depriving himself for a long time
-of her society, he discovered that he admired her far
-more than he had suspected. It was admiration, but it
-was nothing more. He felt no pain at the suggestion of
-leaving her, but it seemed as though he were about to
-be robbed of some object familiar to him, to keep which
-was a source of unfailing, though indolent, satisfaction.
-He could not imagine himself angry, if some man of his
-acquaintance had married Mamie the next day, provided
-that he might talk to her as he pleased and watch her
-when he liked. There was not warmth enough in what
-he felt for her to kindle one spark of jealousy against
-any one whom she might choose for a husband.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But there was something added to the odd sort of
-attraction which the girl exercised over him, something
-which had only begun to influence him during the last
-quarter of an hour or less. She loved him, and he had
-just found it out. There is nothing more enviable than
-to love and be loved in return, and nothing more painful
-than to be loved to distraction by a person one dislikes.
-It may be said, perhaps, that nothing can be so disturbing
-to the judgment as to be loved by an individual to
-whom one feels oneself strongly attracted in a wholly different
-way. George Wood did not know exactly what
-was happening to him, and he did not feel himself able
-to judge his own case with any sort of impartiality; but
-his instinct told him to go away as soon as possible and
-to break off all intercourse with his cousin during some
-time to come. She had argued the question with him in
-her own way and had found answers to all he said, but
-he was not satisfied. It was his duty to leave Mamie,
-no matter at what cost, and he meant to go at once.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“My dear Mamie,” he said at last, still unconsciously
-admiring the grace of her attitude, “I am very sorry for
-myself, but there is only one way. I cannot stay here
-any longer.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_252'>252</span>She raised her eyes and looked steadily at him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“On my account?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, and you know I am right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because I have been foolish and—and—unmaidenly,
-I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear child—how you talk!” George exclaimed. “I
-never said anything of the kind!” He was seriously
-embarrassed to find an answer to her statement.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course you did not say it. But you probably
-thought it, which is the same thing. After all, it is
-true, you know. But then, have I not a right to be foolish,
-if I please? I have known you so long.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes indeed!” George answered with alacrity, for he
-was glad to be able to agree with her in something. “It
-is a long time, as you say—ever since we were children
-together.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then you think there was nothing so very bad about
-what I said?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It was thoughtless—I do not know what it was.
-There was certainly nothing bad in it, and besides, you
-did not mean it, you know, did you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then why do you want to go away?” inquired Mamie,
-with feminine logic, and candour.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why because——” George stopped as people often
-do, at that word, well knowing what he had been about
-to say, but now suddenly unwilling to say it. In fact,
-to say anything under the circumstances would have been
-a flagrant breach of tact. Since Mamie almost admitted
-that she had meant nothing, she had only been making
-fun of him and he could not well think of going away
-without seeming ridiculous in his own eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“’Because,’ without anything after it, is only a woman’s
-reason,” said the young girl with a laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Women’s reasons are sometimes the best. At all
-events, I have often heard you say so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am often laughing at you, when I seem most in
-earnest, George. Have you never noticed that I have a
-fine talent for irony? Do you think that if I were very
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_253'>253</span>much in love with you, I would tell you so? How conceited
-you must be!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No indeed!” George asseverated. “I would not
-imagine that you could do such a thing. When I told
-you I would go away, I was only entering into the spirit
-of the thing and carrying on your idea.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It was very well done. I cannot help laughing at
-the serious face you made.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nor I, at yours,” said the young man beginning to
-pull the boat slowly about.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Matters had taken a very unexpected turn and he began
-to feel his determination to depart oozing out of his fingers
-in a way he had not expected. His position, indeed,
-was absurd. He could not argue with Mamie the question
-of whether she had been in earnest or not. Therefore
-he was obliged to accept her statement, that she had
-been jesting. And if he did so, how could he humiliate
-her by showing that he still believed she loved him? In
-other words, by packing up his traps and taking a summary
-leave. He would only be making a laughing-stock
-of himself in her eyes. Nor was he altogether free from
-an unforeseen sensation of disappointment, very slight,
-very vague, and very embarrassing to his self-esteem.
-Look at it as he would, his vanity had been flattered by
-her confession, and it had also, in some way, appealed
-to his heart. To be loved by some one, as she had
-seemed to love, when that expression had passed over
-her face! The idea was pleasant, attractive, one on
-which he would dwell hereafter and which would stimulate
-his comprehension when he was describing scenes of
-love in his books.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So of course you will stay and behave like a human
-being,” said Mamie, after a short pause, as though she
-had summed up the evidence, deliberated upon it and
-were giving the verdict.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose I shall,” George answered in a regretful
-tone, though he could not repress a smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You seem to be sorry,” observed the young girl with
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_254'>254</span>a quick, laughing glance of her grey eyes. “If there are
-any other reasons for your sudden departure, it is quite
-another matter. The one you gave has turned out badly.
-You have not proved the necessity for ensuring my
-salvation by taking the next train.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would have gone by the boat,” said George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because the river would have reminded me to the
-last of this evening.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you want to be reminded of it as much as that?”
-asked Mamie.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Since it turns out to have been such a very pleasant
-evening, after all,” George answered, glad to escape on
-any terms from the position in which his last thoughtless
-remark had placed him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie had shown considerable tact in the way by
-which she had recovered herself, and George was unconsciously
-grateful to her for having saved him from the
-necessity of an abrupt leave-taking, although he could
-not get rid of the idea that she had been more than half
-in earnest in the beginning.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It was very well done,” he said after they had landed
-that evening and were walking up to the house through
-the flower garden.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” Mamie answered. “I am a very good actress.
-They always say so in the private theatricals.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The evening colour had gone from the sky and the
-moon was already in the sky, not yet at the full. Mamie
-stood still in the path and plucked a rose.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I can act beautifully,” she said with a low laugh.
-“Would you like me to give you a little exhibition?
-Look at me—so—now the moonlight is on my face and
-you can see me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She, looked up into his eyes, and once more her features
-seemed to be transfigured. She laid one hand upon
-his arm and with the other hand raised the rose to her
-lips, kissed it, her eyes still fixed on his, then smiled and
-spoke three words in a low voice that seemed to send a
-thrill through the quiet air.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_255'>255</span>“I love you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then she made as though she would have fastened the
-flower in his white flannel jacket, and he, believing she
-would do it, and still looking at her, bent a little forward
-and held the buttonhole ready. All at once, she sprang
-back with a quick, graceful movement and laughed
-again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Was it not well done?” she cried, tossing the rose
-far away into one of the beds.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Admirably,” George answered. “I never saw anything
-equal to it. How you must have studied!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“For years,” said the young girl, speaking in her usual
-tone and beginning to walk by his side towards the
-house.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was certainly very strange, George thought, that
-she should be able to assume such an expression and such
-a tone of voice at a moment’s notice, if there were no
-real love in her heart. But it was impossible to quarrel
-with the way she had done it. There had been something
-so supremely graceful in her attitude, something
-so winning in her smile, something in her accent which
-so touched the heart, that the incident remained fixed in
-his memory as a wonderful picture, never to be forgotten.
-It affected his artistic sense so strongly that before he
-went to bed he took his pen and wrote it down, taking a
-keen pleasure in putting into shape the details of the
-scene, and especially in describing what escaped description,
-the mysterious fascination of the girl herself. He
-read it over in bed, was satisfied with it, thrust it under
-his pillow, and went to sleep to dream it over again just
-as it had happened, with one important exception. In
-his dream, the figure, the voice, the words, were all
-Mamie’s, but the face was that of Constance Fearing,
-though it wore a look which he had never seen there. In
-the morning he laughed over the whole affair, being only
-too ready to believe that Mamie had really been laughing
-at him and that she had only been acting the little
-scene with the rose in the garden.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_256'>256</span>A few days later an event occurred which again made
-him doubtful in the matter. Since that evening he had
-felt that he had grown more intimate with his cousin
-than before. There had been no renewal of the dangerous
-play on her part, though both had referred to it more
-than once. Oddly enough it constituted a sort of harmless
-secret, which had to be kept from Mamie’s mother
-and over which they could be merry only when they were
-alone. Yet, as far as George was concerned, though the
-bond had grown closer in those days, its nature had not
-changed, nor was he any nearer to being persuaded that
-his cousin was actually in love with him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At that time, John Bond and his wife, having made a
-very short trip to Canada, returned to New York and
-came thence to establish themselves in the old Fearing
-house for the rest of the summer. John could not leave
-the business for more than ten days in the absence of his
-partner, and he did as so many other men do, who spend
-the hot months on the river, going to town in the morning
-and coming back in the evening. On Sundays only
-John Bond did not make his daily trip to New York.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Since his marriage, he and Grace had not been over to
-see the Trimms, though Mrs. Trimm had once been over
-to them on a week-day in obedience to the custom which
-prescribes that every one must call on a bride. There
-had been much suave coldness between Totty and the
-Fearings since the report of the broken engagement had
-been circulated, but appearances were nevertheless maintained,
-and Mr. and Mrs. Bond felt that it was their duty
-to return the visit as soon as possible. Constance accompanied
-them and the three sailed across the river
-late on one Sunday afternoon. The river is a great barrier
-against news, and as Totty had kept her house empty
-of guests, for some reason best known to herself, and had
-written to none of her many intimate friends that George
-Wood was spending the summer with her, the three visitors
-had no expectation of finding him among the party.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>During the time which had followed her departure from
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_257'>257</span>town, Constance Fearing had fallen into a listless habit of
-mind, from which she had found it hard to rouse herself
-even so far as to help in the preparations for her sister’s
-marriage. When the ceremony was over, she had withdrawn
-again to her country-house in the sole company of
-the elderly female relation who has been mentioned already
-once or twice in the course of this history.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She was extremely unhappy in her own way, and there
-were moments when the pain she had suffered renewed
-itself suddenly, when she wept bitter tears over the
-sacrifice she had been so determined to make. After one
-of these crises she was usually more listless and indifferent
-than ever, to all outward appearance, though in
-reality her mind was continually preying upon itself,
-going over the past again and again, living through the
-last moments of happiness she had known, and facing
-in imagination the struggle she had imposed upon herself.
-She did not grow suddenly thin, nor fall ill, nor
-go mad, as women do who have passed through some
-desperate trial of the heart. She possessed, indeed, the
-sort of constitution which sometimes breaks down under
-a violent strain from without, but she had not been exposed
-to anything which could bring about so fatal a
-result. It was rather the regret for a lost interest in her
-life than the keen agony of separation from one she had
-loved, which affected her spirits and reacted very slowly
-upon her health. At certain moments the sense of loneliness
-made itself felt more strongly than at others, and
-she gave way to tears and lamentation, in the privacy of
-her own room, without knowing exactly what she wanted.
-She still believed that she had done right in sending
-George away, but she missed what he had taken with
-him, the daily incense offered at her shrine, the small
-daily emotions she had felt when with him, and which
-her sensitive temper had liked for their very smallness.
-There was no doubt that she had loved him a little, as
-she had said, for she had always been ready to acknowledge
-everything she felt. But it was questionable
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_258'>258</span>whether her love had increased or decreased since she
-had parted from him, and her fits of spasmodic grief were
-probably not to be attributed to genuine love-sickness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>On that particular Sunday afternoon chosen by the
-Bonds for their visit to Mrs. Sherrington Trimm, Constance
-was as thoroughly indifferent as usual to everything
-that went on. She was willing to join her sister
-and brother-in-law in their expedition rather than stay
-at home and do nothing, but her mind was disturbed by
-no presentiment of any meeting with George Wood.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was towards evening, and the air was already cool
-by comparison with the heat of the day. Mrs. Trimm,
-her daughter and George were all three seated in a
-verandah from which they overlooked the river and could
-see their own neat landing-pier beyond the flower-garden.
-The weather had been hot and none of the three
-were much inclined for conversation. Suddenly Totty
-uttered an exclamation of surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Those people are coming here! Who are they,
-George? Can you see?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George fixed his eyes on the landing and saw that the
-sail-boat had brought to. At the same moment the sails
-were quickly furled and a man threw a rope over one of
-the wooden pillars. A few seconds elapsed and three
-figures were seen upon the garden-walk.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish you could see who they are, George,” said
-Totty rather impatiently. “It is so awkward—not
-knowing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think it is Miss Fearing,” George answered slowly,
-“with her sister and John Bond.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was the only one of the three who did not change
-colour a little as the party drew near. Mamie’s marble
-forehead grew a shade whiter, and Totty’s pretty pink
-face a little more pink. She was annoyed at being taken
-unawares, and was sorry that George was present. As
-for Mamie, her grey eyes sparkled rather coldly, and her
-large, even lips were tightly closed over her beautiful
-teeth. But George was imperturbable, and it would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_259'>259</span>have been impossible to guess from his face what he felt.
-He observed the three curiously as they approached the
-verandah. He thought that Constance looked pale and
-thin, and he recognised in Grace and her husband that
-peculiar appearance of expensive and untarnished newness
-which characterises newly-married Americans.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am so glad you have come over!” Totty exclaimed
-with laudably hospitable insincerity. “It is an age since
-we have seen any of you!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie gave Constance her hand and said something
-civil, though she fixed her grey eyes on the other’s blue
-ones with singular and rather disagreeable intensity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George has been talking to her about me, I suppose,”
-thought Miss Fearing as she turned and shook hands
-with George himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace looked at him quietly and pressed his hand with
-unmistakable cordiality. Her husband shook hands
-energetically with every one, inquired earnestly how
-each one was doing, and then looked at the river. He
-felt rather uncomfortable, because he knew that every
-one else did, but he made no attempt to help the difficulty
-by opening the conversation. He was not a talkative
-man. Totty, however, lost no time in asking a
-score of questions, to all of which she knew the answers.
-George found himself seated between Constance and
-Grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have you been here long, Mr. Wood?” Constance
-asked, turning her head to George and paying no attention
-to Totty’s volley of inquiries.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Since the first of June,” George answered quietly,
-and then relapsed into silence, not knowing what to say.
-He was not really so calm as he appeared to be, and
-the suddenness of the visit had slightly confused his
-thoughts.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I supposed that you were in New York,” said Constance,
-who seemed determined to talk to him, and to
-no one else. “Will you not come over and see us?”
-she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_260'>260</span>“I shall be very happy,” George replied, without
-undue coldness, but without enthusiasm. “Shall you
-stay through the summer?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Certainly—my sister and John—Mr. Bond—are
-there, too. You see, it is so dreadfully hot in town,
-and he cannot leave the office, though there is nothing
-in the world to do, I am sure. By the way, what are
-you doing, if one may ask? I hope you are writing
-something. You know we are all looking forward to
-your next book.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George could not help glancing sharply at her face,
-which changed colour immediately. But he looked
-away again as he answered the question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The old story,” he said. “A love story. What else
-should I write about? There is only one thing that has
-a permanent interest for the public, and that is love.”
-He ended the speech with a dry laugh, not good to hear.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it?” asked Constance with remarkable self-possession.
-“I should think there must be many other
-subjects more interesting and far easier to write upon.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Easier, no doubt. I will not question your judgment
-upon that point, at least. More interesting to
-certain writers, too, perhaps. Love is so much a matter
-of taste. But more to the liking of the public—no.
-There I must differ from you. The great majority of
-mankind love, are fully aware of it, and enjoy reading
-about the loves of others.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance was pale and evidently nervous. She had
-clearly determined to talk to George, and he appeared
-to resent the advance rather than otherwise. Yet she
-would not relinquish the attempt. Even in his worst
-humour she would rather talk with him than with any
-one else. She tried to meet him on his own ground.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How about friendship?” she asked. “Is not that a
-subject for a book, as well as love?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Possibly, with immense labour, one might make a
-book of some sort about friendship. It would be a very
-dull book to read, and a man would need to be very
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_261'>261</span>morbid to write it; as for the public it would have to
-undergo a surgical operation to be made to accept it.
-No. I think that friendship would make a very poor
-subject for a novelist.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not think very highly of friendship itself, it
-seems,” said Constance with an attempt to laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know of any reason why I should. I know
-very little in its favour.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Opinions differ so much!” exclaimed the young girl,
-gaining courage gradually. “I suppose you and I have
-not at all the same ideas about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Evidently not.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How would you define friendship?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I never define things. It is my business to describe
-people, facts and events. Bond is a lawyer and a man
-of concise definitions. Ask him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I prefer to talk to you,” said Constance, who had by
-this time overcome her sensitive timidity and began to
-think that she could revive something of the old confidence
-in conversation. Unfortunately for her intentions,
-Mamie had either overheard the last words, or did not
-like the way things were going. She rose and pushed
-her light straw chair before her with her foot until it
-was opposite the two.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What do you do with yourself all day long?” she
-asked as she sat down. “I am sure you are giving my
-cousin the most delightful accounts of your existence!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“As a matter of fact, we were talking of friendship,”
-said George, watching the outlines of Mamie’s exquisite
-figure and mentally comparing them with Constance’s
-less striking advantages.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How charming!” Mamie exclaimed sweetly. “And
-you have always been such good friends.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>With a wicked intuition of the mischief she was making,
-Mamie paused and looked from the one to the other.
-Constance very nearly lost her temper, but George’s dark
-face betrayed no emotion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The best of friends,” he said calmly. “What do you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_262'>262</span>think of this question, Mamie? Miss Fearing says she
-thinks that a good book might be written about friendship.
-I answered that I thought it would be far from
-popular with the public. What do you say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance looked curiously at Mamie, as though she
-were interested in her reply. It seemed as though she
-must agree with one or the other. But Mamie was not
-easily caught.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, I am sure you could, George!” she exclaimed.
-“You are so clever—you could do anything. For
-instance, why do you not describe your friendship?
-You two, you know you would be so nice in a book.
-And besides, everybody would read it and it could not
-be a failure.” Mamie smiled again, as she looked at
-her two hearers.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should think Mr. Wood might do something in a
-novel with you as well as with me,” said Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was not sure whether Mamie turned a shade
-whiter or not. She was naturally pale, but it seemed to
-him that her grey eyes grew suddenly dark and angry.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You might put us both into the same book, George,”
-she suggested.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Both as friends?” asked Constance, raising her delicate
-eyebrows a little, while her nostrils expanded. She
-was thoroughly angry by this time.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why, of course!” Mamie exclaimed with an air of
-perfect innocence. “What could you suppose I meant?
-I do not suppose he would be rude enough to fall in love
-with either of us in a book. Would you, George?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In books,” said George quietly, “all sorts of strange
-things happen.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thereupon he turned and addressed Grace, who was
-on the other side of him, and kept up an animated conversation
-with her throughout the remainder of the visit.
-It seemed to him to be the only way of breaking up an
-extremely unpleasant situation. Constance was grateful
-to him for what he did, for she felt that if he had
-chosen to forget his courtesy even for an instant he
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_263'>263</span>would have found it easy to say many things which
-would have wounded her cruelly and which would not
-have failed to please his cousin. George, on his part,
-had acquired a clearer view of the real state of things.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How I hate her!” Mamie said to herself, when Constance
-was gone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What a hateful, spiteful little thing she is!” thought
-Constance as she stepped into the boat.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XIX.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George was not altogether pleased by what had happened
-during the visit. He had expected that Constance
-would be satisfied with exchanging a few words of no
-import, and that she would make no attempt to lead
-him into conversation. Instead of this, however, she
-had seemed to be doing her best to make him talk, and
-had really been the one to begin the trouble which had
-ensued. If she had not allowed herself to refer in the
-most direct manner to the past, she would not have
-exposed herself to Mamie’s subsequent attack. As for
-Mamie, though she had successfully affected a look of
-perfect innocence, and had spoken in the gentlest and
-most friendly tone of voice, there was no denying the
-fact that her speeches had made a visible impression
-upon Constance Fearing. The latter had done her best
-to control her anger, but she had not succeeded in hiding
-it altogether. It was impossible not to make a comparison
-between the two girls, and, on the whole, the
-comparison was in Mamie’s favour, so far as self-possession
-and coolness were concerned.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You were rather hard on Miss Fearing yesterday,”
-George said on the following morning, when they were
-alone during the quarter of an hour he allowed to elapse
-between breakfast and going to work.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_264'>264</span>“Hard on her? What do you mean?” asked Mamie
-with well-feigned surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why—I mean when you suggested that I should put
-you both into a book together. Oh, I know what you
-are going to say. You meant nothing by it, you had not
-thought of what you were going to say, you would
-not have said anything disagreeable for the world.
-Nevertheless you said it, and in the calmest way, and
-it did just what you expected of it—it hurt her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—do you mind?” Mamie inquired, with amazing
-frankness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. You made her think that I had been talking
-to you about her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And what harm is there in that? You did talk
-about her a little a few days ago—on a certain evening.
-And, moreover, Master George, though you are a great
-man and a very good sort of man, and a dear, altogether,
-besides possessing the supreme advantage of being my
-cousin, you cannot prevent me from hating your beloved
-Constance Fearing nor from hurting her as much as I
-possibly can whenever we meet—especially if she sits
-down beside you and makes soft eyes at you, and tries
-to get you back!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do not talk like that, Mamie. I do not like it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie laughed, and showed her beautiful teeth.
-There was a vicious sparkle in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You want to be taken back, I suppose,” she said.
-“Tell me the truth—do you love her still?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George suddenly caught her by the two wrists and
-held her before him. He was annoyed and yet he could
-not help being amused.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie, you shall not say such things! You are as
-spiteful as a little wild-cat!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Am I? I am glad of it—and I am not in the least
-afraid of you, or your big hands or your black looks.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George laughed and dropped her hands with a little
-shake, half angry, half playful.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I really believe you are not!” he exclaimed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_265'>265</span>“Of course not! Was she? Or were you afraid of
-her? Which was it? Oh, how I would have liked to
-see you together when you were angry with each other!
-She can be very angry, you know. She was yesterday.
-She would have liked to tear me to pieces with those
-long nails of hers. I hate people who have long nails!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You seem to hate a great many people this morning.
-I wish you would leave her alone.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, now you are going to be angry, too! But then,
-it would not matter.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why would it not matter?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because I am only Mamie,” answered the girl, looking
-up affectionately into his face. “You never care
-what I say, do you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know about that,” George said. “What do
-you mean by saying that you are only Mamie?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie is nobody, you know. Mamie is only a
-cousin, a little girl who wants nothing of George but
-toys and picture-books, a silly child, a foolish, half-witted
-little thing that cannot understand a great man—much
-less tease him. Can she?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie is a witch,” George answered with a laugh.
-There was indeed something strangely bewitching about
-the girl. She could say things to him which he would
-not have suffered his own sister to say if he had had
-one.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish I were! I wish I could make wax dolls, like
-people I hate, as the witches used to do, and stick pins
-into their hearts and melt them before the fire, little by
-little.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What has got into your head this morning, you
-murderous, revengeful little thing?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There are many things in my head,” she answered,
-suddenly changing her manner, and speaking in an oddly
-demure tone, with downcast eyes and folded hands.
-“There are more things in my head than are dreamt of
-in yours—at least, I hope so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tell me some of them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_266'>266</span>“I dare do all that becomes—a proper little girl,”
-said Mamie, laughing, “but not that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear me! I had no idea that you were such a desperate
-character.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tell me, George—if you did what I suggested
-yesterday and put us both into a book, Conny Fearing
-and me, which would you like best?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would try and make you like each other, though I
-do not know exactly how I should go about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is not an answer. It is of no use to be clever
-with me, as I have often told you. Would you like me
-better than Conny Fearing? Yes—or no! Come, I am
-waiting! How slow you are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Which do you want me to say? I could do either—in
-a book, so that it can make no difference.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh—if it would make no difference, I do not care
-to know. You need not answer me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“All the better for me,” said George with a laugh.
-“Good-bye—I am going to work. Think of some easier
-question.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George went away, wondering how it was all going to
-end. Mamie was certainly behaving in a very strange
-way. Her conduct during the visit on the previous
-afternoon had been that of a woman at once angry and
-jealous, and he himself had felt very uncomfortable.
-The extreme gentleness of her manner and expression
-while speaking with Constance had not concealed her
-real feelings from him, and he had felt something like
-shame at being obliged to sit quietly in his place while
-she wounded the woman he once loved so dearly, and of
-whom he still thought so often. He had done everything
-in his power to smooth matters, but he had not been able
-to do much, and his own humour had been already ruffled
-by the conversation that had gone before. He was
-under the impression that Constance had gone away feeling
-that he had been gratuitously disagreeable, and he
-was sorry for it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Before very long, he had an opportunity of ascertaining
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_267'>267</span>what Constance felt and thought about his doings.
-On the afternoon of the Sunday following the one on
-which she had been to the Trimms’, George had crossed
-to the opposite side of the river, alone, had landed near
-a thick clump of trees and was comfortably established
-in a shady spot on the shore with a book and a cigar.
-The day was hot and it was about the middle of the
-afternoon. Mamie and her mother had driven to the
-neighbouring church, for Totty was punctual in attending
-to her devotions, whereas George, who had gone with
-them in the morning, considered that he had done enough.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was not sure to whom the land on which he found
-himself belonged, and he had some misgiving that it
-might be a part of the Fearing property. But he had
-been too lazy to pull higher up the stream when he had
-once crossed it, and had not cared to drop down the
-current as that would have increased the distance he
-would have had to row when he went home. He fancied
-that on such a warm day and at such a comparatively
-early hour, none of the Fearings were likely to be abroad,
-even if he were really in their grounds.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Under ordinary circumstances he would have been safe
-enough. It chanced, however, that Constance had been
-unusually restless all day, and it had occurred to her
-that if she could walk for an hour or more in her own
-company she would feel better. The place where George
-was sitting was actually in her grounds, and she, knowing
-it to be a pretty spot, where there was generally a
-breeze, had naturally turned towards it. He had not
-been where he was more than a quarter of an hour when
-she came upon him. He heard a light step upon the
-grass, and looking up, saw a figure all in white within
-five paces of him. He recognised Constance, and sprang
-to his feet, dropping his book and his cigar at the same
-moment. Constance started perceptibly, but did not
-draw back. George was the first to speak.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am afraid I am trespassing here,” he said quickly.
-“If so, pray forgive me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_268'>268</span>“You are welcome,” Constance answered, recovering
-herself. “It is one of the prettiest places on the river,”
-she added a moment later, resting her hands upon the
-long handle of her parasol and looking out at the sunny
-water.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was nothing to be done but to face an interview.
-She could hardly turn her back on him and walk away
-without exchanging a few phrases, and he, on his part,
-could not jump into his boat and row for his life as though
-he were afraid of her. Of the two she was the one best
-pleased by the accidental meeting. To George’s surprise
-she seated herself upon the grass, against the root of one
-of the great old trees.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you not sit down again?” she asked. “I disturbed
-you. I am so sorry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not at all,” said George, resuming his former attitude.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you say ‘not at all’ in that way? Of course
-I disturbed you, and I am disturbing you now, out of
-false politeness, because I am on my own ground and
-feel that you are a guest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She was a little confused in trying to be too natural,
-and George felt the false note, and was vaguely sorry
-for her. She was much less at her ease than he, and she
-showed it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I came here out of laziness,” he said. “It was a bore
-to pull that heavy boat any farther up, and I did not
-care to lose way by going farther down. I did not feel
-sure whether this spot was yours or not.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance said nothing for a moment, but she tapped
-the toe of her shoe rather impatiently with her parasol.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You would not have landed here if you had thought
-that there was a possibility of meeting me, would you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The question was rather an embarrassing one and was
-put with great directness. It seemed to George that the
-air was full of such questions just now. He considered
-that his answer might entail serious consequences and
-he hesitated several seconds before speaking.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It seems to me,” he answered at last, “that although
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_269'>269</span>I have but little reason to seek a meeting with you, I
-have none whatever for avoiding one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope not, indeed,” said Constance, in a low voice.
-“I hope you will never try to avoid me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have never done so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think you have,” said the young girl, not looking
-at him. “I think you have been unkind in never taking
-the trouble to come and see us during all these months.
-Why have you never crossed the river?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did you expect that after what has passed between
-us I should continue to make regular visits?” George
-spoke earnestly, without raising or lowering his tone,
-and waited for an answer. It came with some hesitation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I thought that—after a time, perhaps, you would
-come now and then. I hoped so. I cannot see why you
-should not, I am sure. Are we enemies, you and I?
-Are we never to be friends again?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Friendship is a relation I do not understand,” George
-answered. “I think I said as much the other day when
-you mentioned the subject.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. Somebody interrupted the conversation. I
-think,” said Constance, blushing a little, “that it was
-your cousin. I wanted to say several things to you then,
-but it was impossible before all those people. Since we
-have met by accident, will you listen to me? If you
-would rather not, please say so and I will go away. But
-please do not say anything unkind. I cannot bear it and
-I am very unhappy.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was something simple and pathetic in her appeal
-to his forbearance, which moved him a little.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will do whatever you wish,” he said, in a tone that
-reminded her of other days. He folded his hands upon
-one knee and prepared to listen, looking out at the broad
-river.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you. I have longed for a chance of saying it
-to you, ever since we last met in New York. It has
-always seemed very easy to say until now. Yes. It is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_270'>270</span>about friendship. Last Sunday I was trying to speak
-of it, and you were very unkind. You laughed at me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sincerely sorry, if I did. I did not know that
-you were in earnest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I was, and I am, very much in earnest. It is the
-only thing that can make my life worth living.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Friendship?” asked George quietly. He meant to
-keep his word and say nothing that could hurt her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Your friendship,” she answered. “Because I once
-made a great mistake, is there to be no forgiveness? Is
-it impossible that we should ever be good friends, see
-each other often and talk together as we did in the old
-days? Are you always to meet me with a stony face and
-hard, cruel words? Was my sin so great as that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have not committed any sin. You should not
-use such words.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, do not find fault with the way I say it—it is so
-hard to say it at all! Try and understand me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do understand you, I think, but what you propose
-does not look possible to me. There has been that between
-us which makes it very hard to try such experiments.
-Do you not think so?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It may seem hard, but it is not impossible, if you
-will only try to think more kindly of me. Do you know
-what my mistake was—where I was most wrong? It
-was in not telling you—what I did—a year sooner. Let
-us be honest. Break through this veil there is between
-us, if it is only for to-day. What is formality to you or
-me? You loved me once—I could not love you. Is that
-a reason why you should treat me like a stranger when
-we meet, or why I should pick and choose my words with
-you, as though I feared you instead of—of being very
-fond of you? Think it all over, even if it pains you a
-little. You would have done anything for my sake once.
-If I had told you a year earlier—as I ought to have told
-you—that I could never love you enough to marry you,
-would you then have been so angry and have gone away
-from me as you did?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_271'>271</span>“No. I would not,” said George. “But there was that
-difference——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Wait. Let me finish what I was going to say. It
-was not what I did, it was that I did it far too late. You
-would not have given up coming to see me, if it had all
-happened a year earlier. My fault lay in putting it off
-too long. It was very wrong. I have been very sorry
-for it. There is nothing I would not do for you—I am
-just what I always was in my feelings towards you—and
-more. Can I humiliate myself more than I have done
-before you? I do not think there are many women who
-would have done what I have done, what I am doing now.
-Can I be more humble still? Shall I confess it all
-again?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have done all that a woman could or should,”
-George said, and there was no bitterness in his voice. It
-seemed to him that the old Constance he had loved was
-slowly entering into the person of the young girl before
-him, whom he had of late treated as a stranger and who
-had been so really and truly one in his sight.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And yet, will you not forgive?” she asked in a low
-and supplicating tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He gazed at the river and did not speak. He was not
-conscious that she was watching his face intently. She
-saw no bitterness nor hardness there, however, but only
-an expression of perplexity. The word forgiveness did
-not convey to him half what it meant to her. She attached
-a meaning to it, which escaped him. She was
-morbid and had taken an unreal view of all that had
-happened between them. His mind was strong, natural
-and healthy, and he could not easily understand why she
-should lend such importance to what he now considered
-a mere phrase, no matter how he had regarded it in the
-heat and anger of his memorable interview with her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Miss Fearing—” he began. He hardly knew why he
-called her by name, unless it was that he was about to
-make a categorical statement. So soon as the syllables
-had escaped his lips, however, he repented of having
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_272'>272</span>pronounced them. He saw a shade of pain pass over her
-face, and at the same time it seemed a childish way of
-indicating the distance by which they were now separated.
-It reminded him of George the Third’s “Mr.
-Washington.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Constance,” he said after another moment’s hesitation,
-“we do not speak in the same language. You ask
-me for my forgiveness. What am I to forgive? If there
-is anything to be forgiven, I forgive most freely. I was
-very angry, and therefore very foolish on that day when
-I said I would not forgive you. I am not angry now.
-What I feel is very different. I bear you no malice, I
-wish you no evil.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance was silent and looked away. She did not
-understand him, though she felt that he was not speaking
-unkindly. What he offered her was not what she
-wanted.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Since we have come to these explanations,” George
-continued after a pause, “I will try and tell you what it
-is that I feel. I called you Miss Fearing just now. Do
-you know why? Because it seems more natural. You
-are not the same person you once were, and when I call
-you Constance, I fancy I am calling some one else by the
-name of your old self, of the Constance I loved, and who
-loved me—a little.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not I who have changed,” said the young girl,
-looking down. “I am Constance still, and you are my
-best and dearest friend, though you be ever so unkind.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A change there is, and a great one. I daresay it is
-in me. I was never your friend, as you understand the
-word, and you were mistaken in thinking that I was. I
-loved you. That is not friendship.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And now, since I am another person—not the one
-you loved—can you not be my friend as well as—as you
-are of others? Why does it seem so impossible?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is too painful to be thought of,” said George in a
-low voice. “You are too like the other, and yet too different.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_273'>273</span>Constance sighed and twisted a blade of grass round
-her slender white finger. She wished she knew how to
-do away with the difference he felt so keenly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you never miss me?” she asked after a long silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I miss the woman I loved,” George answered. “Is
-it any satisfaction to you to know it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, for I am she.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was another pause, during which George glanced
-at her face from time to time. It had changed, he
-thought. It was thinner and whiter than of old and
-there were shadows beneath the eyes and modellings—not
-yet lines—of sadness about the sensitive mouth.
-He wondered whether she had suffered, and why. She
-had never loved him. Could it be true that she missed
-his companionship, his conversation, his friendship, as
-she called it? If not, why should her face be altered?
-And yet it was strange, too. He could not understand
-how separation could be painful where there was no love.
-Nevertheless he was sorry that she should have suffered,
-now that his anger was gone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad you loved me,” she said at last.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And I am very sorry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You should not say that. If you had not loved me—more
-than I knew—you would not have written,
-you would not be what you are. Can you not think of
-it in that way, sometimes?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world
-and lose his own soul?” said George bitterly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have not lost your soul,” answered Constance,
-whose religious sensibilities were a little shocked, at
-once by the strength of the words as by the fact of their
-being quoted from the Bible. “You have no right to say
-that. You will some day find a woman who will love
-you as you deserve——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And whom I shall not love.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Whom you will love as well as you once loved me.
-You will be happy, then. I hope it may happen soon.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_274'>274</span>“Do you?” asked George, turning upon her quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“For your sake I hope so, with all my heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And for yours?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope I should like her very much,” said Constance
-with a forced laugh, and looking away from him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am afraid you will not,” George answered, almost
-unconsciously. The words fell from his lips as a reply
-to her strained laughter which told too plainly her real
-thoughts.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You should not ask such questions,” she said, a
-moment later. “Do you find it hard to talk to me?”
-she asked, suddenly turning the conversation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think it would be hard for you and me to talk about
-these things for long.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“We need not—if we meet. It is better that we
-should have said what we had to say, and we need never
-say it again. And we shall meet more often, now, shall
-we not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Does it give you pleasure to see me?” There was a
-touch of hardness in the tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance looked down and the colour came into her
-thin face. Her voice trembled a little when she spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you going to be unkind to me again? Or do you
-really wish to know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am in earnest. Does it give you pleasure to see
-me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“After all I have said—oh, George, this has been the
-happiest hour I have spent since the first of May.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you heartless or are you not?” asked George
-almost fiercely. “Do you love me that you should care
-to see me? Or does it amuse you to give me pain?
-What are you, yourself, the real woman that I can never
-understand?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance was frightened by the sudden outbreak of
-passion, and turned pale.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What are you saying? What do you mean?” she
-asked in an uncertain voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What I say? What I mean? Do you think it is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_275'>275</span>pleasure to me to talk as we have been talking? Do you
-suppose that my love for you was a mere name, an idea,
-a thing without reality, to be discussed and dissected
-and examined and turned inside out? Do you fancy that
-in three months I have forgotten, or ceased to care, or
-learned to talk of you as though you were a person in a
-book? What do you think I am made of?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance hid her face in her hands and a long
-silence followed. She was not crying, but she looked as
-though she were trying to collect her thoughts, and at
-the same time to shut out some disagreeable sight. At
-last she looked up and saw that his lean, dark face was
-full of sadness. She knew him well and knew how much
-he must feel before his features betrayed what was passing
-in his mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Forgive me, George,” she said in a beseeching tone.
-“I did not know that you loved—that you cared for me
-still.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is nothing,” he answered bitterly. “It will pass.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Poor Constance felt that she had lost in a moment
-what she had gained with so much difficulty, the renewal
-of something like unconstrained intercourse. She rose
-slowly from the place where she had been sitting, two or
-three paces away from him. He did not rise, for he was
-still too much under the influence of the emotion to heed
-what she did. She came and stood before him and looked
-down into his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George,” she said slowly and earnestly, “I am a very
-unhappy woman—more unhappy than you can guess.
-You are dearer to me than anything on earth, and yet I
-am always hurting you and wounding you. This life is
-killing me. Tell me what you would have me do and
-say, and I will do it and say it—anything—do you
-understand—anything rather than be parted from you
-as I have been during these last months.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She meant every word she said, and in that moment,
-if George had asked her to be his wife she would have
-consented gladly. But he did not understand that she
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_276'>276</span>meant as much as that. He seemed to hesitate a moment
-and then rose quickly to his feet and stood beside her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You must not talk like that,” he said. “I owe you
-much, Constance, very much, though you have made me
-very unhappy. I do not understand you. I do not know
-why you should care to see me. But I will come to you
-as often as you please if only you will not talk to me
-about what is past. Let us try and speak of ordinary
-things, of everyday matters. I am ashamed to seem to
-be making conditions, and I do not know what it all
-means, because, as I have said, I cannot understand you,
-and I never shall. Will you have me on those terms?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He held out his hand as he spoke the last words, and
-there was a kindly smile on his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Come when you will and as you will—only come!”
-said Constance, her face lighting up with gladness. She,
-at least, was satisfied, and saw a prospect of happiness
-in the future. “Come here sometimes, in the afternoon,
-it will be like——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She was going to say that it would be like the old
-time when they used to meet in the Park.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will be like a sort of picnic, you know,” were the
-words that fell from her lips. But the blush on her face
-told plainly enough that she had meant to say something
-else.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” said George with a grim smile, “it will be like
-a sort of picnic. Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good-bye—when will you come?” Constance could
-not help letting her hand linger in his as long as he
-would hold it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Next Sunday,” George answered quickly. He reflected
-that it would not be easy to escape Mamie on any
-other day.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A moment later he was in his boat, pulling away into
-the midstream. Constance stood on the shore watching
-him and wishing with all her heart that she were sitting
-in the stern of the neat craft, wishing more than all that
-he might desire her presence there. But he did not.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_277'>277</span>He knew very well that he could have stayed another
-hour or two in her company if he had chosen to do so,
-but he had been glad to escape, and he knew it. The
-meeting had been painful to him in many ways, and it
-had made him dissatisfied and disappointed with himself.
-It had shown him what he had not known, that
-he loved the old Constance as dearly as ever, though he
-could not always recognise her in the strange girl who
-did not love him but who assured him that her separation
-from him was killing her. He had hoped and
-almost believed that he should never again feel an emotion
-in her presence, and yet he had felt many during
-that afternoon. Nor did he anticipate with any pleasure
-a renewal of the situation on the following Sunday,
-though he was quite sure that he had no means of avoiding
-it. If he had thought that Constance was merely
-making a heartless attempt to renew the old relations,
-he would have given her a sharp and decisive refusal.
-But she was undoubtedly in earnest and she was evidently
-suffering. She had gone to the length of reminding him
-that he owed the beginning of his literary career to her
-influence. It was true, and he would not be ungrateful.
-Courtesy and honour alike forbade ingratitude, and he
-only hoped that he might become accustomed to the pain
-of such meetings.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XX.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>When George met Mamie on that evening, he hoped
-that she would ask no questions as to the way in which
-he had employed his afternoon, for he knew that if she
-discovered that he had been with Constance Fearing she
-would in all probability make some disagreeable observations
-about the latter, of a kind which he did not wish
-to hear. Without having defined the situation in his
-own mind, he felt that Mamie was jealous of Constance
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_278'>278</span>and would show it on every occasion. As a general rule
-she followed her mother’s advice and asked him no
-questions when he had been out alone. But this evening
-her curiosity was aroused by an almost imperceptible
-change in his manner. His face was a shade darker,
-his voice a shade more grave than usual. After dinner,
-Totty stayed in the drawing-room to write letters
-and left the two together upon the verandah. It was
-very dark and they sat near each other in low straw
-chairs.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What have you been doing with yourself?” Mamie
-asked, almost as soon as they were alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Something that will surprise you,” George answered.
-“I have been with Miss Fearing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had no intention of concealing the fact, for he saw
-that such a course would be foolish in the extreme. He
-meant to go and see Constance again, as he had promised
-her, and he saw that it would be folly to give a clandestine
-appearance to their meetings.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh!” exclaimed Mamie, “that accounts for it all!”
-He could not see her face distinctly, but her tone told
-him that she was smiling to herself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Accounts for what?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“For a great many things. For your black looks and
-your gloomy view of the dinner, and your general unsociability.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not feel in the least gloomy or unsociable,”
-George said drily. “You have too much imagination.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why did you go to see her?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did not. I landed on their place without knowing
-it, and when I had been there a quarter of an hour, Miss
-Fearing suddenly appeared upon the scene. Is there
-anything else you would like to know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Now you are angry!” Mamie exclaimed. “Of
-course. I knew you would be. That shows that your
-conversation with Conny was either very pleasant or
-very disagreeable. I am not naturally curious, but I
-would like to know what you talked about!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_279'>279</span>“Would you?” George laughed a little roughly. “We
-did not talk of you—why should you want to know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, that mine enemy would write a book!” Mamie
-exclaimed, “and put into it an accurate report of your
-conversations, and send it to me to be criticised.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why are you so vicious? Let Miss Fearing alone,
-if you do not like her. She has done you no harm, and
-there is no reason why you should call her your enemy,
-and quote the Bible against her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hate to hear you call her Miss Fearing. I know
-you call her Constance when you are alone with her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie, you are a privileged person, but you sometimes
-go too far. It is of no consequence what I call
-her. Let us drop the subject and talk of something else,
-unless you will speak of her reasonably and quietly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you expect me to go with you when you make
-your next visit?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall be very glad if you will, provided that you
-will behave yourself like a sensible creature.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“As I did the other day, when she was here? Is that
-the way?” Mamie laughed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. You behaved abominably——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And she has been complaining to you, and that is the
-reason why you are lecturing me, and making the night
-hideous with your highly moral and excellent advice.
-Give it up, George. It is of no use. I am bad by nature.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was silent for a few minutes. It was clear
-that if he meant to see Constance from time to time in
-future matters must be established upon a permanent
-basis of some sort.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie,” he said at last, “let us be serious. Are you
-really as fond of me as you seem to be? Will you do
-something, not to please me, but to help me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Provided it is easy and I like to do it!” Mamie
-laughed. “Of course I will, George,” she added a
-moment later in a serious tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well. It is this. Forget, or pretend to forget,
-that there is such a person as Miss Fearing in the world.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_280'>280</span>Or else go and see her and be as good and charming as
-you know how to be.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You give me my choice? I may do either?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will help me if you will do either. I cannot hear
-her spoken of unkindly, and I cannot see her treated as
-you treated her the other day, without the shadow of a
-cause.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think there is cause enough, considering how she
-treated you. Oh, yes, I know what you will say—that
-there never was any engagement, and all the rest of it.
-It is very honourable of you, and I admire you men
-much for putting it in that way. But we all knew, and
-it is of no use to deny it, you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not believe me? I give you my word of
-honour that there was no engagement. Do you understand?
-I made a fool of myself, and when I came to
-put the question I was disappointed. She was as free
-to refuse me as you are now, if I asked you to marry
-me. Is that clear?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Perfectly,” said Mamie in a rather unnatural tone.
-“Since you give me your word, it is a different thing.
-I have been mistaken. I am very sorry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And will you do what I ask?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you give me my choice, I will go and see her
-to-morrow. I will do it to please you—though I do not
-understand how it can help you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will, nevertheless, and I shall be grateful to you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The result of this conversation was that Mamie actually
-crossed the river on the following day and spent an
-hour with Constance Fearing to the great surprise of the
-latter, especially when she saw that her visitor was
-determined to be agreeable, as though to efface the impression
-she had made a few days earlier. Mamie was
-very careful to say nothing in the least pointed, nor anything
-which could be construed as an allusion to George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty saw and wondered, but said nothing. She supposed
-that Mamie had made the visit because George
-had asked her to, and she was well satisfied that George
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_281'>281</span>should take the position of asking Mamie to do anything
-for him. That sort of thing, she said to herself, helps
-on a flirtation wonderfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As for George he did not look forward to his next
-meeting with Constance with any kind of pleasure.
-It was distinctly disagreeable, and he wished that something
-might happen to prevent it. He did not know
-whether Constance would tell Grace of his coming, but
-it struck him that he would not like to be surprised by
-Grace when he was sitting under the trees with her
-sister. Grace would assuredly not understand why he
-was there, and he would be placed in a very false position.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So far, he was right. Constance had not mentioned
-her meeting with George to any one, and had no intention
-of doing so. She, like George, said to herself that
-Grace would not understand, and it seemed wisest not to
-give her understanding a chance. Of late George had
-been rarely mentioned, and there was a tendency to
-coldness between the sisters if his name was spoken,
-even accidentally. Constance had at first been grateful
-for the other’s readiness to help her on the memorable
-first of May, but as time went on, she began to feel that
-Grace was in some way responsible for her unhappiness
-and she resented any allusion to the past. Fortunately,
-Grace was very much occupied with her own existence
-at that time and was little inclined to find fault with
-other people’s views of life. She had married the man
-she loved, and who loved her, for whom she had waited
-long, and of whom she was immensely proud. He was
-exactly suited to her taste and represented her ideal of
-man in every way. She would rather talk of him than
-of George Wood, and she preferred his company to her
-sister’s when he was at home. They were a couple
-whose happiness would have become proverbial if it had
-been allowed to continue; one of those couples who are
-not interesting but to watch whom is a satisfaction, and
-whom it is always pleasant to meet. There was just the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_282'>282</span>right difference of age between them, there was just the
-right difference in height, the proper contrast in complexion,
-both had much the same tastes, both were very
-much in earnest, very sensible, and very faithful. It
-was to be foreseen that in the course of years they would
-grow more and more alike, and perhaps more and more
-prejudiced in favour of their own way of looking at
-things, that they would have sensible, good-looking
-children, who would do all those things which they ought
-to do and rejoice their parents’ hearts, in short that they
-would lead a peaceful and harmonious life and be in
-every way an honour to their principles and a model to
-all young couples yet unmarried. They were people to
-whom nothing unusual would ever happen, people who,
-if they had had the opportunity to invent gunpowder,
-would have held a matrimonial consultation upon the
-matter and would have decided that explosives should
-be avoided with care, and had better not be invented at
-all. Since their marriage they had both been less in
-sympathy with Constance than before, and the latter was
-beginning to suspect that it would not be wise for them
-to live together when they returned to town. She was
-in some doubt, however, about making any definite
-arrangements. The elderly female relation who had
-been a companion and a chaperon to the two young girls,
-was on her hands, and had begun to show signs of turning
-into an invalid. It was impossible to turn her adrift,
-though she was manifestly in the way at present, and
-yet if Constance decided to live by herself, the good
-lady was not the sort of person she needed. She gave a
-good deal of thought to the matter, and turned it over in
-every way, little suspecting that an event was about to
-occur which would render all such arrangements futile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>On the Sunday afternoon agreed upon, George got into
-the boat alone and pulled away into the stream without
-offering any explanation of his departure to Mrs. Trimm
-or to Mamie. He took it for granted that they intended
-to go to church as usual and that he would not be missed.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_283'>283</span>Moreover, he owed no account of his doings to any one,
-as he said to himself, and would assuredly give none.
-He started at an early hour, but was surprised to see
-that Constance was at the place of meeting before him.
-As he glanced over his shoulder to see that he was rowing
-for the right point, he caught sight of her white
-serge dress beneath the trees.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have been watching you ever since you started,” she
-said, holding out her hand to him. “Why do you always
-row instead of sailing? There is a good breeze, too.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There are two reasons,” he answered. “In the first
-place, the Trimms have no sail-boat, and secondly, if
-they had, I should not know how to manage it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“My brother-in-law and Grace are out. Do you see
-their boat off there? Just under the bluff. They said
-they would probably go to your cousin’s a little later.
-And now sit down. Do you know? I was afraid you
-would not come, until I saw your boat.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What made you think that? Did I not promise that
-I would come?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—I know. But I was afraid something would
-happen to prevent you—and then, when one looks forward
-to something for a whole week, it so often does not
-happen.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is true. But then, presentiments are always
-wrong. What have you been doing with yourself all the
-week?” George asked, feeling that since he had come so
-far, it was incumbent upon him to try and make conversation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not much. I had one surprise—your cousin Mamie
-came over on Tuesday and made a long visit. I had
-not expected her, I confess, but she was in very good
-spirits and talked charmingly.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She is a very nice girl,” said George indifferently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course—I know. But when we were all over
-there the other day I thought—” she stopped suddenly
-and looked at George. “Is it forbidden ground?” she
-asked, with a slight change of colour.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_284'>284</span>“What? Mamie? No. Why should we not talk
-about her?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well—I fancied she did not like me. She said one
-or two things that I thought were meant to hurt me.
-They did, too. I suppose I am very sensitive. After
-all, she looked perfectly innocent, and probably meant
-nothing by it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She often says foolish things which she does not
-mean,” said George reflectively. “But she is a very
-good girl, all the same. You say she was agreeable the
-other day—what did you talk about?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She raved about you,” said Constance. “She is a
-great admirer of yours. Did you know it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I know she likes me,” George answered coolly. “Her
-mother is a very old friend of mine and has been very
-kind to me. She saw that I was worn out with work,
-and insisted upon my spending the summer with them,
-as Sherry Trimm is abroad and they had no man in the
-house. So Mamie came over here to sing my praises,
-did she?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, and she sang them very well. She is so enthusiastic—it
-is a pleasure to listen to her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should think you would find that sort of thing rather
-fatiguing,” said George with a smile.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Strange to say I did not. I could bear a great deal
-of it without being in the least tired. But, as I told you,
-I was surprised by her visit. Do you know what I
-thought? I thought that you had made her come and be
-nice, because you had seen that I had been annoyed when
-we were over there. It would have been so like you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Would it? If I had done what you suppose, I would
-not tell you and I am very glad she came. I wish you
-knew each other better, and liked each other.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“We can, if you would be glad,” said Constance. “I
-could go over there and ask her here, and see a great
-deal of her, and I could make her like me. I will if you
-wish it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why should I put you to so much trouble, for a
-matter of so little importance?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_285'>285</span>“It would be a pleasure to do anything for you,” answered
-the young girl simply. “I wish I might.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked at her gravely and saw that she was very
-much in earnest. The readiness with which she offered
-to put herself to any amount of inconvenience at the
-slightest hint from him, proved she was looking out for
-some occasion of proving her friendship.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are very kind, Constance,” he said gently. “I
-thank you very much.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A silence followed, broken only by the singing of the
-wind in the old trees. The sky was overcast and there
-were light squalls on the water. Presently George began
-to talk again and an hour passed quickly away, far more
-quickly and pleasantly than he had believed possible.
-They had many thoughts and ideas in common, and the
-first constraint being removed it was impossible that
-they should be long together without talking freely.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why not kill him?” said Constance in a critical tone.
-“It would solve many difficulties, and after all you do
-not want him any more.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>They were talking of the book he was now writing.
-Insensibly they had approached the subject, and being
-once near it, George had not resisted the temptation to
-tell her the story.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would be so easy,” she continued. “Take him out
-in a boat and upset him, you know. They say drowning
-is a pleasant death. A boat like my brother-in-law’s—there
-it is. Do you see?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace and her husband had been across to see Totty
-and were returning. The breeze was uncertain, and
-from time to time the boat lay over in a way that looked
-dangerous.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Murder and sudden death!” said George with a light
-laugh. “Do you not think it would be more artistic to
-let him live? When I was a starving critic, that was one
-of my favourite attacks. At this point the author, for
-reasons doubtless known to himself, unexpectedly drowns
-his hero, and what might have proved a very fair story
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_286'>286</span>is brought to an abrupt close. You know the style. I
-used to do it very well. Do you not think they will say
-that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What does it matter? Besides, it is only a suggestion,
-and this particular man is not the hero. I never
-liked him from the beginning, and I should be glad if
-he were brought to an awful end!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How heartless! But he is not so bad as you think.
-I never could tell a story well in this way, and you have
-not read the book. By Jove! I believe they have
-brought over Mamie and her mother. There are a lot
-of people in the boat.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was watching the little craft rather anxiously. It
-struck him that he would rather not be found sitting
-under the trees with Constance, by that particular party
-of people.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not think they will come here, do you?” he
-asked, turning to his companion. It seemed almost as
-natural as formerly that they should agree in not wishing
-to be interrupted by Grace, nor by any one else.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh no!” Constance answered. “They will not come
-here. The buoy is anchored opposite the landing, much
-farther down, and John could not moor her to the shore.
-It is odd, though, that he should be running so free. He
-is losing way by coming towards us.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sure they have seen us and mean to land here,”
-said George in a tone that betrayed his annoyance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Both watched the little boat in silence for some minutes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are right,” Constance said at last. “They are
-coming here. It is of no use to run away,” she added,
-quite naturally. “They must have seen my white frock
-long ago. Yes, here they are.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>By this time the boat was less than twenty yards from
-the shore and within speaking distance. She was a small,
-light craft, half-decked, and rigged as a cutter. John
-Bond was steering and the three ladies were seated in
-the middle. John let her head come to the wind and
-sang out—</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_287'>287</span>“Wood! I say!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Hullo!” George answered, springing to his feet and
-advancing to the edge of the land.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can you take the ladies ashore in your boat?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“All right!” George sprang into the light wherry,
-taking the painter with him, and pulled alongside of the
-party. In a moment the three ladies were over the side
-and crowded together in the stern.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You will meet us at the house, dear, won’t you?”
-said Grace to her husband just as George was turning his
-boat to row back.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, as soon as I can take her to her moorings,”
-answered John, who was holding the helm up with one
-hand and loosening the sheet with the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As George rowed towards the land he faced the river
-and saw what happened. The three ladies were all
-looking in the opposite direction. The little cutter’s
-head went round, slowly at first, and then more quickly
-as the wind filled the sail. At that moment a sharp
-squall swept over the water. George could see that John
-was trying to let the sheet go, but the rope was jammed
-and the sail remained close hauled, as it had been when
-he made the boat lie to. She had little ballast in her,
-and the weight of the ladies being out of her, left her far
-too light. George was not a practical sailor, and he
-turned pale as he saw the cutter lie over upon her side,
-though he supposed it might not be as dangerous as it
-looked. A moment later he stopped rowing. The little
-vessel had capsized and was floating bottom upwards.
-John Bond was nowhere to be seen.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can your husband swim?” he asked quickly of Grace.
-She started violently as she saw the look on his face,
-turned, caught sight of the sail-boat’s keel and then
-screamed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Save him! Save him!” she cried in agony.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Take the sculls, Mamie!” cried George as he sprang
-over the side into the river. He had not even thrown
-off his shoes or his flannel jacket.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_288'>288</span>George had calculated that he could reach the place
-where the accident had occurred much sooner by swimming
-than in the boat, which was long and narrow and
-needed some time to turn, and which moreover was moving
-in the opposite direction. He was a first-rate swimmer
-and diver and trusted to his strength to overcome
-the disadvantage he was under in being dressed. In a
-few seconds he had reached the cutter. John Bond was
-nowhere to be seen. Without hesitation he drew a long
-breath and dived under the boat. The unfortunate man
-had become entangled in the ropes and was under the
-vessel, struggling desperately to free himself. George
-laid hold of him just as he was making his last convulsive
-effort. But it was too late. The wet sail and the
-slack of the sheet had somehow fastened themselves
-about him. He grasped the arm with which George tried
-to help him, and his grip was like a steel vice, for John
-Bond was a very strong man and he was in his death
-agony. George now struggled for his own life, trying
-to free himself from the death clasp that held him, making
-desperate efforts to get his head under the side of the
-boat in order to breathe the air. But he could not loosen
-the dead man’s iron hold. The effort to hold his breath
-could go no further, he opened his mouth, and made as
-though he were breathing, taking the cool fresh water
-into his lungs, while still exerting his utmost strength
-to get free. Then a delicious dreamy sleep seemed to
-come over him and he lost consciousness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie Trimm showed admirable self-possession. She
-brought her mother and Grace ashore in spite of their
-cries and entreaties, for she knew that they could do
-nothing, and she herself did not believe at first that anything
-serious had happened, and told them so as calmly
-as she could. She knew that George was an admirable
-swimmer and she had no fear for him, though as she
-reached the land she saw him dive under the capsized
-boat. He would reappear in thirty seconds at the most,
-and would probably bring John Bond up with him. She
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_289'>289</span>had great difficulty in making Grace go ashore, however,
-and without her mother’s assistance she would have
-found it altogether impossible. The four women stood
-near together straining their sight, when nothing was to
-be seen. The struggles of the two men moved the light
-hull of the cutter during several seconds and then all was
-quiet.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>With parted lips and blanched cheeks Constance Fearing
-stared at the water, leaning against the tree that was
-nearest to the edge. Grace would have fallen to the
-ground if Mrs. Trimm had not held her arms about
-her. Mamie stood motionless and white, expecting every
-moment to see George’s dark head rise to the surface,
-believing that he could not be drowned.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At that moment a third boat, rowed by four strong
-pairs of arms shot past the wooded point at a tremendous
-speed, the water flying to right and left of the sharp
-prow, and churning in the wake, while the hard breathing
-of the desperate rowers could be heard.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Jump on her keel, fellows!” roared a lusty voice.
-“There are four of us and we can right her. They’re
-both under the stern!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In an instant, as it seemed, the little cutter was lying
-on her side, and the four women could see the bodies of
-John Bond and George Wood clasped together and entangled
-in the sail, but partly drawn out of water by the
-lifting of the boat’s side. Quicker than thought Mamie
-was in the wherry again and out on the water. The
-cutter had drifted in shore with the current during the
-two or three minutes in which all had happened. The
-girl saw that the rescuers needed help and was with them
-in an instant. What she did she never remembered
-afterwards, but for many days the strain upon her
-strength left her bruised and aching from head to foot.
-In less than a minute the bodies of the two men were in
-her boat and two of the newcomers were pulling her
-ashore. The others caught their own craft again and
-swam to land, pushing it before them.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_290'>290</span>With a cry that seemed to break her heart Grace fell
-upon her husband’s corpse. He was dead, and she knew
-it, though two of the men did everything in their power
-to restore him. They were all gentlemen who lived by
-the river, and knew what to do in such cases.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>On the other side the two young girls knelt beside the
-body of George Wood, both their faces as white as his,
-both silent, both helping to their utmost in the attempt to
-bring him to life. The men were prompt and determined
-in their action. One of them was a physician. For many
-minutes they moved George’s arms up and down with a
-regular, cadenced motion, so as to expand and contract
-the lungs and produce an artificial breathing.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am afraid it is all up,” said one in a low voice to
-his companion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not yet,” answered the other, who was the doctor.
-“I believe he is alive.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was right. A minute later George’s eyelids trembled.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He is alive,” said Constance in a strange, happy
-voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie said nothing, but her great grey eyes opened
-wide with joy. Then all at once, with a smothered cry
-she threw herself upon him and kissed his dark face passionately,
-heedless of the two strangers as she was of the
-girl who was kneeling opposite to her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance seized her by the arm and pushed her away
-from George with a strength no one would have suspected
-her of possessing.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is he to you, that you should do that?” she
-asked in a tone trembling with passion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie’s eyes flashed angrily as she shook herself free
-and raised her head.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I love him,” she said proudly. “What are you to
-him that you should come between us?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George opened his eyes slowly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Constance!” He could hardly articulate the name,
-and a violent fit of coughing succeeded the effort.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_291'>291</span>The two girls looked into each other’s eyes. Both had
-heard the syllables, and both knew what they meant. In
-Constance’s face there was pride, triumph, supreme happiness.
-In Mamie’s closely-set lips and flashing eyes
-there was implacable hatred. She rose to her feet and
-drew back, slowly, while Constance remained kneeling
-on the ground. One moment more she remained where
-she was, gazing at her retreating rival. Then, with one
-more glance at George’s reviving eyes, she sprang up
-and went to her sister’s side.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace’s grief was uncontrollable and terrible to see.
-During the night that followed it was impossible to
-make her leave her husband’s body. She was far too
-strong to break down or to go mad, and she suffered
-everything that a human being can suffer without a moment’s
-respite.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance never left her, though she could do nothing
-to soothe her fearful sorrow. Words were of no use,
-for Grace could not hear them. There was nothing to be
-done, but to wait and pray that she might become exhausted
-by the protracted agony.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was late in the evening when the four gentlemen
-who had saved George’s life brought him home with
-Mamie and her mother. There had been much to be
-thought of before he could think of returning. They
-had carried him to Constance’s house at first, for he had
-been unable to walk, and they had given him some of
-the dead man’s clothes in place of his own dripping garments,
-had chafed him and warmed him and poured
-stimulants down his throat. The doctor in the party
-had strongly urged him to spend the night where he
-was. But nothing could induce him to do that. As soon
-as he was strong enough to walk he insisted on recrossing
-the river.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Even Totty was terribly shocked and depressed by
-what had happened. She was not without heart and the
-tears came into her eyes when she thought of Grace’s
-cruel bereavement.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_292'>292</span>“Oh, George,” she said before they retired for the
-night, “you don’t think anything more could have been
-done, do you? It was quite impossible to save him, was
-it not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A faint smile passed over the tired face of the man
-who had to all intents and purposes sacrificed his own
-life in the attempt to save John Bond, who had been as
-dead as he so far as his own sensations were concerned.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did what I could,” he answered simply.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie looked keenly into his eyes, as she bade him
-good-night. Her mother was already at the door.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You love Constance Fearing still,” she said in a tone
-that could not reach Totty’s ears.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope not,” George answered with sudden coldness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“When you opened your eyes, you said ‘Constance’
-quite distinctly. We both heard it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Did I? That was very foolish. The next time I
-am drowned in the presence of ladies I will try and be
-more careful.”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXI.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>The sudden death of John Bond caused an interruption
-in the lives of most of the people concerned in this history.
-George Wood had received one of those violent
-mental impressions from which men do not recover for
-many weeks. It was long before he could rid his dreams
-of the ever-repeated scene. When he closed his eyes
-the white sail of the little cutter rose before them, the
-sharp and sudden squall struck the canvas, and almost
-at the same instant he felt himself once more in the cool
-depths, struggling with a man already almost dead,
-striving with agonised determination to hold his breath,
-then abandoning the effort and losing consciousness,
-only to awake with a violent start and a short, smothered
-cry.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_293'>293</span>Even Totty, who was not naturally nervous, was
-haunted by terrible visions in the night and was a little
-pale and subdued during a fortnight after the accident.
-Mamie wore a strange expression, which neither George
-nor her mother could understand. Her lips were often
-tightly set together as though in some desperate effort,
-in which her eyelids drooped and her fingers grasped
-convulsively whatever they held. She was living over
-again that awful moment when she had clutched what
-she had believed to be the dead body of the man she
-loved, and almost unaided, she knew not how, had
-dragged it into the boat. There was another instant,
-too, which recalled itself vividly to her memory, the one
-in which the reviving man had pronounced Constance’s
-name, and Constance had shown her triumph in her eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As often happens in such cases, both George and
-Mamie had been less exhausted on the evening of the
-fatal day than they had been for several days afterwards.
-It was long before Mamie made any reference again to
-the first word he had spoken with returning consciousness.
-She often, indeed, stood gazing across the river,
-towards the scene of the tragedy and beyond the tall trees
-in the direction of the house that was hidden behind
-them, and George knew what was in her thoughts better
-than he could tell what was in his own. He had learned
-soon enough that he owed a large share of gratitude for
-the preservation of his life to Mamie herself. The
-young doctor who had done so much, had been to see him
-more than once and had repeated to him that if he had
-been left, even with his head above water, but without
-the immediate assistance necessary in such cases, during
-two or three minutes more, he would in all likelihood
-never have breathed again. The presence of a boat on
-the spot, and above all Mamie’s exhibition of an almost
-supernatural strength in getting George into the wherry,
-had really saved his life. Without her, the four men
-who had acted so promptly would have been helpless.
-Their own craft was adrift and empty, and they had been
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_294'>294</span>unable to right the cutter so as to make use of her, light
-as she was. The doctor did not fail to say the same
-thing to Mamie, complimenting her on her presence of
-mind and extraordinary energy in a way that brought
-the colour to her pale cheeks. George felt that a new
-tie bound him to his cousin.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was indeed impossible that where there was already
-so much genuine affection on the one side and so much
-devoted love on the other, such an accident should not
-increase both in a like proportion. Whether it were
-really true that Mamie had been the immediate means of
-saving George or not, the testimony was universally in
-favour of that opinion, and the girl herself was persuaded
-that without her help he would have perished.
-She had saved him at the moment of death, and she
-loved him ten times more passionately than before. As
-for him, he doubted his own power to reason in the
-matter. He had been fond of her before; he was devotedly
-attached to her now. His whole nature was full of
-gratitude and trust where she was concerned, and his
-relations with Constance Fearing began to take the appearance
-of an infidelity to Mamie. If he asked himself
-whether he felt or could ever feel for his cousin what he
-had felt so strongly for Constance, the answer was plain
-enough. It was impossible. But if he put the matter
-differently he found a different response in his heart.
-If, thought he, the two young girls were drowning
-before his eyes, as John Bond and he had been drowning
-before theirs, and if it were only possible to save one,
-which should it be? In that imaginary moment that
-was so real from his recent experience, when he was
-swimming forward with all his might to reach the spot
-in time, would he have struck out to the right and saved
-Mamie, or would he have turned to the left and drawn
-Constance ashore? There was no hesitation. Mamie
-should have lived and Constance might have died, though
-he would have risked his own life a hundred times to
-help her after the first was safe, and though the thought
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_295'>295</span>of her death sent a sharp pain through his heart. Was he
-then in love with both? That was an impossibility, he
-thought, an absurdity that could never be a reality, the
-creation perhaps of some morbid story-maker, evolved
-without experience from the elaboration of imaginary
-circumstances.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Since he had entered upon this frame of mind he had
-grown very cautious and reticent. He was playing with
-fire on both sides. That Mamie loved him with all her
-heart he now no longer doubted, and as for Constance,
-now that he had not seen her for some time and had
-found leisure to reflect upon her conduct, it seemed clear
-that the latter could not be explained upon any ordinary
-theory of friendship, and if so, she also loved him in her
-own strange way. He wished it had been easier to
-decide between the two, if he must decide at all. If
-there was to be no decision, he should lose no time in
-leaving the neighbourhood. To stay where he was would
-be to play a contemptibly irresponsible part. He was
-disturbing Constance’s peace of mind, and he was not
-sure that at any moment he might not do or say something
-that would make Mamie believe that he loved her.
-He owed too much to these two beings, about whom
-his strongest affections were centred, he could not and
-would not give either the one or the other a moment’s
-pain.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty was also not without her apprehensions in the
-matter. When she had somewhat recovered from the
-impression of the accident, she began to think it very
-odd that George should have been sitting alone with Constance
-under the trees on that Sunday afternoon. She
-remembered that he had disappeared mysteriously soon
-after luncheon, without saying anything of his intentions.
-She argued that he had certainly not met Constance
-by accident, and that if the meeting had been
-agreed upon the two must have met before. She knew
-that George had once loved the girl, and all she positively
-knew of the cause of the coldness between them
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_296'>296</span>was what she had learned from himself. She had
-undoubtedly refused him and he had been very angry,
-but that did not prevent his offering himself again, and
-did not by any means exclude the possibility of his being
-accepted. Totty was worldly-wise, and she understood
-young women of Constance’s type better than most of
-them understand themselves. They imagine that in
-refusing men they are temporarily, and by an act of
-their own volition, putting them back from the state of
-love to the state of devoted friendship, in order to discover
-whether they themselves are in earnest. Many
-men bear the treatment kindly and reappear at the
-expected time with their second declaration, are accepted,
-happily married and forgotten promptly by designing
-mothers. Occasionally a man appears who is like George
-Wood, who raves, storms, grows thin and refuses to
-speak to the heartless little flirt who has wrecked his
-existence, until, on a summer’s day he is unexpectedly
-forced into her society again, when he finds that he loves
-her still, tells her so and receives a kind answer,
-prompted by the fear of losing him altogether.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The prospect was not a pleasant one. If at the present
-juncture Constance were to succeed in winning George
-back, Totty was capable of being roused to great and
-revengeful wrath. Hitherto she had not even thought
-of such a catastrophe as probable, but the discovery that
-the two had been spending a quiet afternoon together
-under the trees strangely altered the face of the situation.
-If, however, George still felt anything for the girl, Totty
-had not failed to see that she also had gained something
-by the accident. It was a great point that Mamie should
-have saved George’s life, and the longer Mrs. Trimm
-thought of it, the more sure she became that he had
-owed his salvation to the young girl alone, and that the
-four gentlemen who had appeared so opportunely had
-only been accessories to her action. George must be
-hard-hearted indeed if he were not grateful, and the
-natural way of showing his gratitude should be to fall in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_297'>297</span>love without delay. But George was an inscrutable
-being, as was sufficiently shown by his secretly meeting
-Constance. Totty wondered whether she ought not to
-give him a hint, to convey tactfully to him the information
-that Mamie was deeply in love, to let him know
-that he was welcome to marry her. She hesitated to do
-this, however, fearing lest George should take to flight.
-She knew better than any one that he had been more
-attracted by the comfort, the quiet and the luxury of her
-home than by Mamie, when he had consented to spend
-the summer under the roof, and though Mamie herself
-had now grown to be an attraction in his eyes, she did
-not believe that the girl had inspired in him anything
-like the sincere passion he had felt for Constance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Meanwhile those who had been most nearly affected by
-the calamity were passing through one of those periods
-of life upon which men and women afterwards look back
-with amazement, wondering how they could have borne
-so much without breaking under the strain. Grace was
-beside herself with grief. After the first few days of
-passionate weeping she regained some command over her
-actions, but the deep-seated, unrelenting pain, which no
-longer found vent in tears was harder to bear, inasmuch
-as it was more conscious of itself and of its own fearful
-proportions. For many days, the miserable woman
-never left her room, sitting from morning till evening
-in the same attitude, dry-eyed and motionless, gazing
-at the place where her dead husband had lain; and in
-that same place she lay all night, sleepless, waiting for
-the dawn, looking for the first grey light at the window,
-listening for his breathing, in the mad hope that it had
-all been but a dream which would vanish before the
-morning sun. Her heart would not break, her strong,
-well-balanced intelligence would not give way, though
-she longed for death or madness to end her sufferings.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At first Constance was always with her, but before
-long she understood that the strong woman preferred to
-be alone. All that could be done was to insist upon her
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_298'>298</span>taking food at regular intervals and to pray that her
-state might soon change. Once or twice Constance urged
-her to leave the place and to allow herself to be taken to
-the city, to the seaside, abroad, anywhere away from
-everything that reminded her of the past. But Grace
-stared at her with coldly wondering eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is all I have left—the memory,” she said, and
-relapsed into silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance consulted physicians without her sister’s
-knowledge, but they said that there was nothing to be
-done, that such cases were rare but not unknown, that
-Mrs. Bond’s great strength of constitution would survive
-the strain since it had resisted the first shock. And so
-it proved in the end. For on a certain morning in September,
-when Constance was seated alone in a corner of
-the old-fashioned garden, she had been startled by the
-sudden appearance of a tall figure in black, and of a face
-which she hardly recognised as being her sister’s. She
-had been accustomed to seeing her in the dimness of a
-darkened room, wrapped in loose garments, her smooth
-brown hair hanging down in straight plaits. She was
-dressed now with all the scrupulous care of appearance
-that was natural to her, with perfect simplicity as
-became her deep mourning, but also with perfect taste.
-But the correctness of her costume only served to show
-the changes that had taken place during the past weeks.
-She was thin almost to emaciation, her smooth young
-cheeks were hollow and absolutely colourless, her brown
-eyes were sunken and their depth was accentuated by the
-dark rings that surrounded them. But she was erect as
-she walked, and she held her head as proudly as ever.
-Her strength was not gone, for she moved easily and without
-effort. Any one would have said, however, that, instead
-of being nearly two years younger than Constance,
-as she actually was, she must be several years older.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>When Constance saw her, she rose quickly with the
-first expression of joy that had escaped her lips for many
-a day.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_299'>299</span>“Thank God!” she exclaimed. “At last!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“At last,” Grace answered quietly. “One thing only,
-Constance,” she continued after a pause. “I will be
-myself again. But do not talk of going away, and never
-speak of what has happened.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I never will, dear,” answered the older girl.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There had been many inquiries made at the house
-by messengers from Mrs. Trimm, but neither she, nor
-Mamie nor George had ventured to approach the place
-upon which such awful sorrow had descended. They
-had been surprised at not learning that the two sisters
-had left their country-seat, and had made all sorts of
-conjectures concerning their delay in going away, but
-they gradually became accustomed to the idea that Grace
-might prefer to stay where she was.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would kill me!” Totty exclaimed with much
-emphasis.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I could not do it,” said Mamie, looking at George
-and feeling suddenly how hateful the sight of the river
-would have been to her if she had not seen his eyes open
-on that terrible day when he lay like dead before her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would not, whether I could or not,” George said.
-And he on his part wondered what he would have felt,
-had Constance or Mamie, or both, perished instead of
-John Bond. A slight shiver ran through him, and told
-him that he would have felt something he had never
-experienced before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>One morning when they were all at breakfast a note
-was brought to George in a handwriting he did not
-recognise, but which was oddly familiar from its resemblance
-to Constance’s.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do see what it is!” exclaimed Totty before he had
-time to ask permission to read it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>His face expressed nothing as he glanced over the few
-lines the note contained, folded it again and put it into
-his pocket.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mrs. Bond wants me to go and see her,” he said, in
-explanation. “I wonder why!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_300'>300</span>“It is very natural,” Totty answered. “She wants to
-thank you for what you did.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very unnecessary, considering the unfortunate result,”
-observed George thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you go to-day?” Mamie asked in the hope that
-he would suggest taking her with him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course,” he answered shortly. As soon as breakfast
-was over he went to his work, without spending
-what he called his quarter of an hour’s grace in the
-garden with his cousin.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George Wood was a nervous and sensitive man in spite
-of his strong organisation, and he felt a strong repugnance
-to revisiting the scene of the fatal accident. He
-had indeed been on the river several times since Bond
-had been drowned, and had taken Mamie with him, telling
-her that one ought to get over the first impression at
-once, lest one should lose the power of getting over them
-at all. But to row into the very water in which John
-had died and he himself had nearly lost his life, was as
-yet more than he cared to do when there was no definite
-object to be gained. Though the little wooded point of
-land was nearer to the house than the landing, he went
-to the latter without hesitation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was shocked at Grace’s appearance when he met
-her in the great old drawing-room. Her face was very
-grave, almost solemn in its immobility, and her eyes
-looked unnaturally large.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I fear I have given you a great deal of trouble, Mr.
-Wood,” she said as she laid her thin cold fingers in his
-hand. He remembered that her grasp had formerly
-been warm and full of life.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing that you could ask of me would give me
-trouble,” George answered earnestly. He had an idea
-that she wanted him to do her some service, in some way
-connected with the accident, but he could not imagine
-what it might be.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you,” she said. He noticed that she continued
-to stand, and that she was apparently dressed for
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_301'>301</span>going out. “That is one reason why I asked you to
-come. I have not been myself and have seen no one
-until now. Let me thank you—as only I can—for
-your noble and gallant attempt to save my husband.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her voice did not tremble nor did the glance of her
-deep eyes waver as she spoke of the dead man, but George
-felt that he had never seen nor dreamed of such grief as
-hers.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I could not do less,” he said hoarsely, for he found it
-hard to speak at all.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No man ever did more. No man could do more,”
-Grace said gravely. “And now, will you do me a great
-service? A great kindness?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything,” George answered readily.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will be hard for you. It will be harder for me.
-Will you come with me to the place and tell me as well
-as you can, how it all happened?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked at her in astonishment. Her eyes were
-fixed on his face and her expression had not changed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is the only kindness any one can do for me,” she
-said simply; and then without waiting for any further
-answer she turned towards the door.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George walked by her side in silence. They left the
-house and took the direction of the wooded point, never
-exchanging a word as they went. From time to time
-George glanced at his companion’s face, wondering
-inwardly what manner of woman she might be who was
-able to suffer as she evidently had suffered, and yet
-could of her own accord face such an explanation of
-events as she had asked him to give her. In less than
-ten minutes they had reached the spot. Grace stood a
-few seconds without speaking, her thin face fixed in its
-unchangeable look of pain, her arms hanging down, her
-hands clasped loosely together.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Now tell me. Tell me everything. Do not be
-afraid—I am very strong.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George collected his thoughts. He wished to make
-the story as short as possible, while omitting nothing
-that was of vital importance.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_302'>302</span>“I was rowing,” he said, “and I saw what happened.
-The boat was lying to and drifting very slowly. Your
-husband put the helm up and she began to turn. At
-that moment the squall came. He tried to let out the
-sail—that would have taken off the pressure—but it
-seemed as though he could not. The last I saw of him
-was just as the boat heeled over. He seemed to be trying
-to get the sheet—the rope, you know—loose, so
-that it would run. Then the boat went over and I
-thought he had merely fallen overboard upon the other
-side. I asked you if he could swim. When you cried
-out, I jumped over and swam as hard as I could. Not
-seeing him I dived under. He seemed to be entangled
-in the ropes and the sail and was struggling furiously.
-I tried to drag him back, but he could not get out and
-caught me by the arm so that I could not move either.
-I did my best, but my breath would not hold out, and I
-could not get my head from under. He was not moving
-then, though he held me still. That is the last I
-remember, his grip upon my arm. Then I took in the
-water and it was all over.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He ceased speaking and looked at Grace. She was, if
-possible, paler than before, but she had not changed her
-position and she was gazing at the water. Many seconds
-elapsed, until George began to fear that she had fallen
-into a sort of trance. He waited a little longer and then
-spoke to her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mrs. Bond!” She made no reply. “Are you ill?”
-he asked. She turned her head slowly towards him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I am not ill. Let us go back,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>They returned to the house as silently as they had
-come. Her step did not falter and her face did not
-change. When they reached the door, she stood still
-and put out her hand, evidently wishing him to leave
-her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You were very brave,” she said. “And you have
-been very kind to-day. I hope you will come and see
-me sometimes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_303'>303</span>George bowed his head silently and took leave of her.
-He had not the heart to ask for Constance, and, indeed,
-he preferred to be alone for a time. He had experienced
-a new and strange emotion, and his eyes had been
-opened concerning the ways of human suffering. If he
-had not seen and heard, he would never have believed
-that a woman capable of such calmness was in reality
-heartbroken. But it was impossible to look at Grace’s
-face and to hear the tones of her voice without understanding
-instantly that the whole fabric of her life was
-wrecked. As she had told her sister, she had nothing
-left but the memory, and she had been determined that
-it should be complete, that no detail should be wanting
-to the very end. It was a satisfaction to remember that
-his last words—insignificant enough—had been addressed
-to her. She had wanted to know what his last
-movement had been, his last struggle for life. She
-knew it all now, and she was satisfied, for there was
-nothing more to be known.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>As he rowed himself slowly across the river, George
-could not help remembering the Grace Fearing he
-remembered in old times and comparing her with the
-woman he had just left. The words she had spoken in
-praise of his courage were still in his ear with their
-ring of heartfelt gratitude and with the look that had
-accompanied them. There was something grand about
-her which he admired. She had never been afraid to
-show that she disliked him when she had feared that he
-might marry her sister. When Constance had at last
-determined upon her answer, it had been Grace who had
-conveyed it, with a frankness which he had once distrusted,
-but which he remembered and knew now to
-have been real. She had never done anything of which
-she was ashamed and she had been able now to thank
-him from her heart, looking fearlessly into his eyes.
-She would have behaved otherwise if she had ever
-deceived him. She would have said too much or too
-little, or she might have felt bound to confess at such a
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_304'>304</span>moment that she had formerly done him a wrong. A
-strange woman she was, he thought, but a strong one
-and very honest. She had never hesitated in her life,
-and had never regretted anything she had done—it was
-written in her face even now. He did not understand
-why she wished to see him often, for he could have supposed
-that his mere presence must call up the most painful
-memories. But he determined that if she remained
-some time longer he would once or twice cross the river
-and spend an hour with her. The remembrance of
-to-day’s interview would make all subsequent meetings
-seem pleasant by comparison.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The circumstances of the afternoon had wearied him,
-and he was glad to find himself again in the midst of
-more pleasant and familiar associations. In answer to
-Totty’s inquiries as to how Grace looked and behaved
-during his visit, he said very little. She looked very
-ill, she behaved with great self-possession, and she had
-wished to know some details about the accident. More
-than that George would not say, and his imperturbable
-face did not betray that there was anything more to be
-said. In the evening he found himself alone with Mamie
-on the verandah, Totty having gone within as usual, on
-pretence of writing letters. The weather was still pleasant,
-though it had grown much cooler, and Mamie had
-thrown a soft white shawl over her shoulders, of which
-George could see the outlines in the gloom.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Tell me, what did she really do?” Mamie asked,
-after a long silence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George hesitated a moment. He was willing to tell
-her many things which he would not have told her
-mother, for he felt that she could understand them and
-sympathise with them when Totty would only pretend
-to do so.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why do you want to know?” he asked, by way of
-giving himself more time to think.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it not natural? I would like to know how a
-woman acts when the man she loves is dead.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_305'>305</span>“Poor thing!” said George. “There is not much to
-tell, but I would not have it known—do you understand?
-She made me walk with her to the place where
-it happened and go over the whole story. She never
-said a word, though she looked like death. She suffers
-terribly—so terribly that there is something grand
-in it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Poor Grace! I can understand. She wanted to
-know all there was to be known. It is very natural.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it? It seemed strange to me. Even I did not
-like to go near the place, and it was very hard to tell
-her all about it—how poor Bond gripped my arm, and
-then the grip after he was dead.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He shuddered and was silent for a moment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I said it all as quickly and clearly as I could,” he
-added presently. “She thanked me for telling her, and
-for what I had done to save her husband. She said she
-hoped I would come again sometimes, and then I left.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You did not see Constance, I suppose?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. She did not appear. I fancy her sister told
-her not to interrupt us and so she kept out of the way.
-It was horribly sad—the whole thing. I could not
-help thinking that if it had not been for you, the poor
-creature would never have known how it happened. I
-should not have been alive to tell the tale.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you glad that you were not drowned?” Mamie
-asked in a rather constrained voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“For myself? I hardly know. I cannot tell whether
-I set much value on life or not. Sometimes it seems to
-be worth living, and sometimes I hardly care.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How can you say that, George!” exclaimed the
-young girl indignantly. “You, so young and so successful.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Whether life is worth living or not—who knows?
-It has been said to depend on climate and the affections.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The climate is not bad here—and as for the affections——”
-Mamie broke off in a nervous laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” George said as though answering an unspoken
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_306'>306</span>reproach. “I do not mean that. I know that you are
-all very fond of me and very good to me. But look at
-poor John Bond. He always seemed to you to be an
-uninteresting fellow, and I used to wonder why he found
-life worth living. I know now. He was loved—loved
-as I fancy very few men have ever been. If you could
-have seen that poor woman’s face to-day, you would
-understand what I mean.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I can understand without having seen it,” said Mamie
-in a smothered voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” said George, pursuing his train of thought,
-tactless and manlike. “You cannot understand—nobody
-can, who has not seen her. There is something
-grand, magnificent, queenly in a sorrow like that, and it
-shows what she felt for the man and what he knew she
-felt. No wonder that he looked happy! Now I, if I
-had been drowned the other day—if you had not saved
-me—of course people would have been very sorry, but
-there would have been no grief like that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was silent. Then a sharp short sob broke the stillness,
-and as he turned his head he saw that Mamie had
-risen and was passing swiftly through the door into the
-drawing-room. He rose to his feet and then stood still,
-knowing that it was of no use to follow her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What a brute I am!” he thought as he sat down
-again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Several minutes passed. He could hear the sound of
-subdued voices within, and then a door was opened and
-closed. A moment later Totty came out and looked
-about. She was dazzled by the light and could not see
-him. He rose and went forward.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Here I am,” he said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She laid her hand upon his arm and looked at his face
-as she spoke, very gently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George, dear—things cannot go on like this,” she
-said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are quite right, Totty,” he answered. “I will
-go away to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_307'>307</span>“Sit down,” said Totty. “Have you got one of those
-cigars? Light it. I want to have a long talk with you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty Trimm had determined to bring matters to a
-crisis.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George felt that his heart was beating faster as he
-prepared to hear what Totty had to say. He knew that
-the moment had come for making a decision of some
-sort, and he was annoyed that it should be thrust upon
-him, especially by Totty Trimm. He could not be sure
-of what she was about to say, but he supposed that it
-was her intention to deliver him a lecture upon his conduct
-towards Mamie, and to request him to make it clear
-to the girl, either by words or by an immediate departure,
-that he could never love her and much less marry her,
-considering his relatively impecunious position. It
-struck him that many women would have spoken in a
-more severe tone of voice than his cousin used, but this
-he attributed to her native good humour as much as to
-her tact. He drew his chair nearer to hers, nearer than
-it had been to Mamie’s, and prepared to listen.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George, dear boy,” said Totty, “this is a very delicate
-matter. I really hardly know how to begin, unless
-you will help me.” A little laugh, half shy, half affectionate,
-rippled pleasantly in the dusky air. Totty
-meant to show from the first that she was not angry.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“About Mamie?” George suggested.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” Totty answered with a quick change to the
-intonation of sadness. “About Mamie. I am very
-much troubled about her. Poor child! She is so unhappy—you
-do not know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sincerely sorry,” said George gravely. “I am
-very fond of her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, I know you are. If things had not been precisely
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_308'>308</span>as they are——” She paused as though asking
-his help.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You would have been glad of it. I understand.”
-George thought that she was referring to his want of
-fortune, as she meant that he should think. She wanted
-to depress him a little, in order to surprise him the more
-afterwards.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, George dear. You do not understand. I mean
-that if you loved her, instead of being merely fond of
-her, it would be easier to speak of it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“To tell me to go away?” he asked, in some perplexity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No indeed! Do you think I am such a bad friend as
-that? You must not be so unkind. Do you think I
-would have begged you so hard to come and stay all
-summer with us, that I would have left you so often
-together——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You cannot mean that you wish me to marry her!”
-George exclaimed in great astonishment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would make me very happy,” said Totty gently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am amazed!” exclaimed George. “I do not know
-what to say—it seems so strange!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Does it? It seems so natural to me. Mamie is
-always first in my mind—whatever can contribute to
-her happiness in any way—and especially in such a
-way as this——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And she?” George asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She loves you, George—with all her heart.” Totty
-touched his hand softly. “And she could not love a
-man whom we should be more glad to see her marry,”
-she added, putting into her voice all the friendly tenderness
-she could command.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George let his head sink on his breast. Totty held
-his hand a moment longer, gave it an infinitesimal
-squeeze and then withdrew her own, sinking back into
-her chair with a little sigh as though she had unburdened
-her heart. For some seconds neither spoke again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Cousin Totty,” George said at last, “I believe you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_309'>309</span>are the best friend I have in the world. I can never
-thank you for all your disinterested kindness.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty smiled sweetly in the dark, partly at the words
-he used and partly at the hopes she founded upon them.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would be strange if I were not,” she said. “I
-have many reasons for not being your enemy, at all
-events. I have thought a great deal about you during
-the last year. Will you let me speak quite frankly?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have every right to say what you think,”
-George answered gratefully. “You have taken me in
-when I was in need of all the friendship and kindness
-you have given me. You have made me a home, you
-have given me back the power to work, which seemed
-gone, you have——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, no, George, do not talk of such wretched things.
-There are hundreds of people who would be only too
-proud and delighted to have George Winton Wood spend
-a summer with them—yes, or marry their daughters.
-You do not seem to realise that—a man of your character,
-of your rising reputation—not to say celebrity—a
-man of your qualities is a match for any girl. But
-that is not what I meant to say. It is something much
-harder to express, something about which I have never
-talked to you, and never thought I should. Will you forgive
-me, if I speak now? It is about Constance Fearing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George looked up quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Provided you say nothing unkind or unjust about
-her,” he answered without hesitation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I?” ejaculated Totty in surprise. “Am I not so fond
-of her, that I wanted you to marry her? I cannot say
-more, I am sure. Constance is a noble-hearted girl, a
-little too sensitive perhaps, but good beyond expression.
-Yes, she is good. That is just the word. Scrupulous to
-a degree! She has the most finely balanced conscience
-I have ever known. Dr. Drinkwater—you know, our
-dear rector in New York—says that there is no one who
-does more for the poor, or who takes a greater interest
-in the church, and that she consults him upon everything,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_310'>310</span>upon every point of duty in her life—it is splendid,
-you know. I never knew such a girl—and then, so
-clever! A Lady Bountiful and a Countess Matilda in
-one! Only—no, I am not going to say anything against
-her, because there is simply nothing to be said—only I
-really do not believe that she is the wife for you, dear
-boy. I do not pretend to say why. There is some reason,
-some subtle, undefinable reason why you would not
-suit each other. I do not mean to say that she is
-vacillating or irresolute. On the contrary, her sensitive
-conscience is one of the great beauties of her character.
-But I have always noticed that people who are long in
-deciding anything irritate you. Is it not true? Of course
-I cannot understand you, George, but I sometimes feel
-what you think, almost as soon as you. That is not
-exactly what I mean, but you understand. That is one
-reason. There are others, no doubt. Do you know what
-I think? I believe that Constance Fearing ought to
-marry one of those splendid young clergymen one hears
-about, who devote their lives to doing good, and to the
-poor—and that kind of thing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I daresay,” said George, as Totty paused. The idea
-was new to him, but somehow it seemed very just. “At
-all events,” he added, “she ought to marry a better man
-than I am.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not better—as good in a different way,” suggested
-Totty. “An especially good man, rather than an especially
-clever one.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not especially clever,” George answered. “I
-have worked harder than most men and have succeeded
-sooner. That is all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course it is your duty to be modest about yourself.
-We all have our opinions. Some people call that greatness—never
-mind. The principle is the same. Tell me—you
-admire her, and all that, but you do not honestly
-believe that you and she are suited to each other, do
-you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty managed her voice so well that she made the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_311'>311</span>question seem natural, and not at all offensive. George
-considered his reply for a moment before he spoke.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think you are right,” he said. “We are not suited
-to each other.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty breathed more freely, for the moment had been
-a critical one.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I was sure of it, though I used to wish it had been
-otherwise. I used to hope that you would marry her,
-until I knew you both better—until I saw there was
-somebody else who was—well—in short, who loves you
-better. You do not mind my saying it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sorry if it is true——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why should you be sorry? Could anything be more
-natural? I should think that a man would be very glad
-and very happy to find that he is dearly loved by a thoroughly
-nice girl——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, if——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No! I know what you are going to say. If he loves
-her. My dear George, it is of no use to deny it. You
-do love Mamie. Any one can see it, though she would
-die rather than have me think that she believed it. I do
-not say it is a romantic passion and all that. It is not.
-You have outgrown that kind of thing, and you are far
-too sensible, besides. But I do say that you are devotedly
-attached to her, that you seek her society, that you show
-how much you like to be alone with her—a thousand
-things, that we can all see.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“All” referred to Totty herself, of course, but George
-was too much disturbed to notice the fact. He could
-find nothing to say and Totty continued.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not that I blame you in the least. I ought to blame
-myself for bringing you together. I should if I were not
-so sure that it is the best thing for your happiness as
-well as for Mamie’s. You two are made for each other,
-positively made for each other. Mamie is not beautiful,
-of course—if she were I would not give you a catalogue
-of her advantages. She is not rich——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You forget that I have only my profession,” said
-George, rather sharply.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_312'>312</span>“But what a profession—besides if it came to that, we
-should always wish our daughter to live as she has been
-accustomed to live. That is not the question. She is not
-beautiful and she is not rich, but you cannot deny it,
-George, she has a charm of her own, a grace, a something
-that a man will never be tired of because he can
-never find out just what it is, nor just where it lies.
-That is quite true, is it not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear cousin Totty, I deny nothing——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, of course not! You cannot deny that, at least—and
-then, do you know? You have the very same thing
-yourself, the something undefinable that a woman likes.
-Has no one ever told you that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No indeed!” exclaimed George, laughing a little in
-spite of himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am quite serious,” said Totty. “Mamie and you
-are made for each other. There can be no doubt about
-it, any more than there can be about your loving each
-other, each in your own way.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If it were in the same way——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not so different. I was thinking of it only the
-other day. Suppose that several people were in danger
-at once—in that dreadful river, for instance—you would
-save her first.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George glanced sharply at his cousin. The same idea
-had crossed his own mind.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How do you know that?” he asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it not true?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—I suppose it is. But I cannot imagine how
-you guessed——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you think I am blind?” asked Totty, almost indignantly.
-“Do you think Mamie does not know it as
-well as I do? After all these months of devotion! You
-must think me very dull—the only wonder is that you
-should not yet have told her so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George wondered why she took it for granted that he
-had not.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What I should have to tell her would be very hard to
-say, as it ought to be said,” he answered thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_313'>313</span>Totty’s manner changed again and she turned her head
-towards him, lowering her voice and speaking in a tone
-of sincere sympathy.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, I know how hard it must be!” she said. “Most
-of all for you. To say, ‘I love you,’ and then to add, ‘I
-do not love you in the same way as I once loved another.’
-But then, must one add that? Is it not self-evident?
-Ah no! There is no love like the first, indeed
-there is not!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty sighed deeply, as though the recollection of some
-long buried fondness were still dear, and sweet and painful.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And yet, one does love,” she continued a little more
-cheerfully. “One loves again, often more truly, if one
-knew it, and more sincerely than the first time. It is
-better so—the affection of later years is happier and
-brighter and more lasting than that other. And it is love,
-in the best sense of the word, believe me it is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>If there had been the least false note of insincerity in
-her voice, George would have detected it. But what
-Totty attempted to do, she did well, with a consummate
-appreciation of details and their value which would have
-deceived a keener man than he. Moreover, he himself
-was in great doubt. He was really so strongly attracted
-by Mamie as to know that a feather’s weight would turn
-the scale. But for the recollection of Constance he would
-have loved her long ago with a love in which there might
-have been more of real passion and less of illusion.
-Mamie was in many ways a more real personage in his
-appreciation than Constance. Totty had defined the difference
-between the two very cleverly by what she had
-said. The more he thought of it, the more ideal Constance
-seemed to become.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But there was another element at work in his judgment.
-He was obliged to confess that Totty was right
-in another of her facts. During the long months of the
-summer he had undoubtedly acted in a way to make ordinary
-people believe that he loved Mamie. He had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_314'>314</span>more than once shown that he resented Totty’s presence,
-and Totty had taken the hint and had gone away, with a
-readiness he only understood now. He had been very
-much spoiled by her, but had never supposed that she
-desired the marriage. It had been enough for him to
-show that he wished to talk to Mamie without interruption
-and he had been immediately humoured as he was
-humoured in everything in that charming establishment.
-Totty, however, and, of course, poor Mamie herself, had
-put an especial construction upon all his slightest words
-and gestures. To use the language of the world, he had
-compromised the girl, and had made her believe that he
-was to some extent in love with her, which was infinitely
-worse. It was very kind of Totty to be so tactful and
-diplomatic. Honest Sherry Trimm would have asked
-him his intentions in two words and would have required
-an answer in one, a mode of procedure which would have
-been far less agreeable.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You owe her something, George,” Totty said after a
-long pause. “She saved your life. You must not break
-her heart—it would be a poor return.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“God forbid! Totty, do you think seriously that I
-have acted in a way to make Mamie believe I love
-her?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sure you have—she knew it long ago. You
-need hardly tell her, she is so sure of it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad,” George answered. “What will
-cousin Sherry say to this?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, George! How can you ask? You know how
-fond he is of you—he will be as glad as I if——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There shall be no ‘ifs,’” George interrupted. “I
-will ask Mamie to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had made up his mind, for he detested uncertainties
-of all sorts. He felt that however he might compare
-Mamie with Constance, he was on the verge of some sort
-of passion for the former, whereas the latter represented
-something never to be realised, something which, even
-if offered him now, he could not accept without misgivings
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_315'>315</span>and doubts. Since he had made Mamie believe that
-he loved her, no matter how unintentionally the result
-had been produced, and since he felt that he could love
-her in return, and be faithful to her, and, lastly, since
-her father and mother believed that the happiness of her
-life depended upon him, it seemed most honourable to
-disappoint no one, and if it turned out that he was
-making a sacrifice he would keep it to himself throughout
-his natural life.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Totty held her breath for a moment after he had made
-his statement, fearing lest she should utter some involuntary
-exclamation of delight, too great even for the
-occasion. Then she rose and came to his side, laid her
-hands upon his shoulders and touched his dark forehead
-with her salmon-coloured lips. George remembered that
-a humming-bird had once brushed his face with its wings,
-and the one sensation reminded him of the other.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“God bless you, my dear son!” said Totty in accents
-that would have carried the conviction of sincerity to an
-angel’s heart.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George pressed her hand warmly, but with an odd
-feeling that the action was not spontaneous. He felt as
-though he were doing something that was expected of
-him, and was doing it as well as he could, without enthusiasm.
-He looked up in the gloom and felt that
-something warm fell upon his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why, cousin Totty, you are crying!” he exclaimed.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Happy tears,” answered Mrs. Sherrington Trimm in
-a voice trembling with emotion. Then she turned and
-swiftly entered the drawing-room, leaving him alone in
-the verandah in the darkness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So the die is cast, and I am to marry Mamie,” he
-thought, as soon as she was gone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In the first moments it was hard to realise that he had
-bound himself by an engagement from which he could
-not draw back, and that so soon after he had broken with
-Constance Fearing. Five months had not gone by since
-the first of May, since he had believed that his life was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_316'>316</span>ruined and his heart broken. What had there been in
-his love for Constance which had made it unreal from
-first to last, real only in the moment of disappointment?
-He found no answer to the question, and he thought of
-Mamie, his future wife. Yes, Totty was right. So far
-as it was possible to judge they were suited to each
-other in all respects except in his own lack of fortune.
-“Suited” was the very word. He would never feel what
-he had felt for the other, the tenderness, the devotion,
-the dependence on her words for his daily happiness—he
-might own it now, the sweet fear of hurting her or offending
-her, which he had only half understood. Constance
-had dominated him during their intercourse, and until he
-had seen her real weakness. With Mamie it would be
-different. She clung to him, not he to her. She looked
-up to him as a superior, he could never worship her as
-an idol. He was to occupy the shrine henceforth and he
-was to play the god and smile upon her when she offered
-incense. There could not be two images in two shrines,
-smiling and burning perfumes at each other. George
-smiled at the idea. But there was to be something else,
-something he had only lately begun to know. He was to
-be devotedly loved by some one, tenderly thought of,
-tenderly treated by one who now, at least, held the first
-place in his heart. That was very different from what
-he had hitherto received, the perpetual denial of love,
-the repeated assurances of friendship. He thought of
-that wonderful expression which he had seen two or
-three times on Mamie’s face, and he was happy. There
-was nothing he would not do, nothing he would not
-sacrifice for the sake of receiving such love as that.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He slept peacefully through the night, undisturbed by
-visions of future trouble or dreams of coming disappointment.
-Nor had his mood changed when he awoke in the
-morning and gazed through the open windows at the
-trees beyond the river, where Constance’s house was
-hidden. Would Constance be sorry to hear the news?
-Probably not. She would meet him with renewed offers
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_317'>317</span>of eternal friendship, and would in all probability come
-to the wedding. She had never felt anything for him.
-His lip curled scornfully as he turned away.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Early in the morning Totty entered her daughter’s
-room. There was nothing extraordinary in the visit, and
-Mamie, who was doing her hair, did not look round,
-though she greeted her mother with a word of welcome.
-Totty kissed her with unwonted tenderness, even considering
-that she was usually demonstrative in her
-affections.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear child,” she said, “I just came in to see how you
-had slept. You need not go away,” she added, addressing
-the maid. “You are a little pale, Mamie. But then
-you always are and it is becoming to you. What shall
-you wear to-day? It is very warm again—you might
-put on white, almost.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Conny Fearing always wears white,” Mamie answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why, she is in mourning of course,” said Mrs. Trimm
-with some solemnity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is she? For her brother-in-law? Well, she always
-did, which is the same thing, exactly. She had on a
-white frock on the day of the accident. I can see her
-now!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh then, by all means wear something else,” said
-Totty with alacrity. “You might try that striped flannel
-costume—or the skirt with a blouse, you know.
-That is new.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” said Mamie with great decision. “I do not
-believe it is warm at all and I mean to wear my blue
-serge.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well,” answered Mrs. Trimm, “perhaps it is the
-most becoming thing you have.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Positively, mamma, I have not a thing to wear!”
-exclaimed Mamie, by sheer force of habit.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sure I have not,” answered her mother with a
-laugh.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh you, mamma! You have lots of things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_318'>318</span>Totty did not go away until she had assured herself
-that Mamie was at her best. She knew that it would
-have been folly to give the girl any warning of what was
-about to take place, and she was aware that Mamie’s
-taste in dress was even better than her own, but she had
-been unable to resist the desire to see her and to go over
-in her own heart the circumstances of her triumph. She
-knew also that Mamie would never forgive her if she
-should discover that her mother had known of George’s
-intention before George had communicated it to herself,
-but it seemed very hard to be obliged to wait even a few
-hours before showing her intense satisfaction at the
-result of her diplomacy.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>During breakfast she was unusually cheerful and talkative,
-whereas George was exceptionally silent and spoke
-with an evident effort. Mamie herself had to some
-extent recovered her spirits, though she was very much
-ashamed of having made such an exhibition of her
-feelings on the previous evening. She offered a lame
-explanation, saying that she had felt suddenly cold and
-had run up to her room to get something warmer to put
-on; seeing it was so late, she had not thought it worth
-while to come down again. Then she changed the subject
-as quickly as she could and was admirably seconded
-by her mother in her efforts to make conversation.
-George’s face betrayed nothing. It was impossible to
-say whether he believed her story or not.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose you are going to work all the morning,”
-observed Mrs. Trimm as they rose from the table.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not sure,” George answered, looking steadily at
-her for a second. “At all events I will have a turn in
-the garden before I set to. Will you come, Mamie?”
-he asked, turning to his cousin.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>For some minutes they walked away from the house in
-silence. George was embarrassed and had not made up
-his mind what he should say. He did not look at his
-cousin’s face, but as he glanced down before him he was
-conscious of her graceful movement at his side. Perfect
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_319'>319</span>motion had always had an especial charm for him, and at
-the present moment he was glad to be charmed. Presently
-they found themselves in a shady place beneath
-certain old trees, out of sight of the garden. George
-stopped suddenly, and Mamie stopping also, looked at
-him in some little surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie,” he said, in the best voice he could find, “do
-you love me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Better than anything in the world,” answered the
-young girl. Her lips grew slowly white and there was
-a startled look in her fearless grey eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You saved my life. Will you take it—and keep
-it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He looked to her for an answer. A supreme joy came
-into her face, then shivered like a broken mirror under
-a blow, and gave way to an agonised fear.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, do not laugh at me!” she cried, in broken and
-beseeching tones.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Laugh at you, dear? God forbid! I am asking you
-to be my wife.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh no! It is not true—you do not love me—it
-never can be true!” But as she spoke, the day of happiness
-dawned again in her eyes—as a summer sun rising
-through a sweet shower of raindrops—and broke
-and flooded all her face with gladness.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I love you, and it is quite true,” he answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The girl had for months concealed the great passion of
-her life as well as she could; she had borne, with all
-the patience she could command, the daily bitter disappointment
-of finding him always the same towards her;
-she had suffered much and had hidden her sufferings
-bravely, but the sudden happiness was more than she
-could control. As he held her in his arms, he felt her
-weight suddenly as though she had fallen, and he saw
-her eyelids droop and her long straight lips part slowly
-over her gleaming teeth. She was not beautiful, and he
-knew it as he looked at her white unconscious face.
-But she loved him as he had never been loved before, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_320'>320</span>in that moment he loved her also. Supporting her with
-one arm, he held up her head with his other hand and
-kissed her again and again, with a passion he had never
-felt. Very slowly the colour returned to her lips, and
-then her eyes opened. There was no surprise in them,
-for she was hardly conscious that she had fainted.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have I been long so?” she asked faintly as the look
-of life and joy came back.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Only a moment, darling,” he answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And it is to be so for ever—oh, it is too much, too
-good, too great. How can I believe so much in one
-day?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was long before they turned back again towards the
-house. The sun rose higher and higher, and the winnowed
-light fell upon them through the leaves reddened
-by the autumn colours that were already spreading over
-the woods, from tree to tree, from branch to branch, from
-leaf to leaf, like one long sunset lasting many days.
-But they sat side by side not heeding the climbing sun
-nor the march of the noiseless hours. Their soft voices
-mingled lovingly with each other and with the murmur
-of the scarcely stirring breeze. Very reluctantly they
-rose at last to return, their arms twined about each other
-until they saw the gables of the house rising above them
-out of the rich mass of red, and orange, and yellow, and
-brown, and green that crowned the maples, the oaks and
-the sycamores. One last long kiss under the shade,
-and they were out upon the hard brown earth of the
-drive, in sight of the windows, walking civilly side by
-side with the distance of half a pace between them.
-Totty, the discreet, had watched for them until she had
-caught a glimpse of their figures through the shrubbery
-and had then retired within to await the joyful news.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie disappeared as soon as they entered the house,
-glad to be alone if she could not be with the man she
-loved. But George went straight to her mother in the
-little morning-room where she generally sat. She looked
-up from her writing, as though she had been long
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_321'>321</span>absorbed in it, then suddenly smiled and held out her
-hand. George pressed it with more sincerity than he
-had been able to find for the same demonstration of
-friendliness on the previous evening.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad I took your advice,” he said. “I am
-a very happy man. Mamie has accepted me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Has she taken the whole morning to make up her
-mind about so simple a matter?” asked Totty archly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, not all the morning,” George answered. “We
-had one or two ideas to exchange afterwards. Totty—no,
-I cannot call my mother-in-law Totty, it is too
-absurd! Cousin Charlotte—will that do? Very well,
-cousin Charlotte, you must telegraph for Sherry’s—I beg
-his pardon, for Mr. Trimm’s consent. Where is he?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Here—see for yourself,” said Totty holding up to
-his eyes a sheet of paper on which was written a short
-cable.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Trimm. Carlsbad, Bohemia. Mamie engaged George
-Wood. Wire consent. Totty.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You see how sure I was of her. I wrote this while
-you were out there—it is true, you gave me time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Sure of her, and of your husband,” said George, surprised
-by the form of the message.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, I have no doubts about him,” answered Mrs.
-Trimm with a light laugh. “He thinks you are perfection,
-you know.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The reply came late that night, short, sharp and business-like.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Fix wedding-day. Returning. Sherry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It was read by Totty with a sort of delirious scream
-of triumph, the first genuine expression she had permitted
-herself since her efforts had been crowned with
-success.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is too good to be believed,” said Mamie aloud, as
-she laid her head on the pillow.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would never have believed it,” said George thoughtfully,
-as he turned from his open window where he had
-been standing an hour.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_322'>322</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXIII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>“We had better say nothing about it for the present,”
-said Totty to George on the following day. “It will
-only cause complications, and it will be much easier
-when we are all in town.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The two were seated together in the little morning-room,
-discussing the future and telling over what had
-happened. George was in a frame of mind which he
-did not recognise, and he seemed laughable in his own
-eyes, though he was far from being unhappy. His surprise
-at the turn events had taken had not yet worn off
-and he could not help being amused at himself for having
-known his own mind so little. At the same time he
-was grateful to Totty for the part she had played and
-was ready to yield to all her wishes in the matter. With
-regard to announcing the engagement, she told him that
-it was quite unnecessary to do so yet, and that, among
-other reasons, it would be better in the eyes of the world
-to publish the social banns after Sherrington had returned
-from abroad. Moreover, if the engagement were made
-known at once, it would be in accordance with custom
-that George should leave the house and find a lodging in
-the nearest town.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I cannot tell why, I am sure,” said Mrs. Trimm,
-“but it is always done, and I should be so sorry if you
-had to leave us just now.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would not be pleasant,” George answered, thoughtfully.
-He had wished to inform Constance as soon as
-possible.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>So the matter was decided, somewhat to his dissatisfaction
-in one respect, but quite in accordance with his
-inclinations in all others. And it was thereupon further
-agreed that as soon as the weather permitted, they would
-all return to town, and make active preparations for the
-wedding. Totty could see no reason whatever why the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_323'>323</span>day should not be fixed early in November. She declared
-emphatically that she hated long engagements,
-and that in this case especially there could be no object
-in putting off the marriage. She assured Mamie that
-by using a little energy everything could be made ready
-in plenty of time, and she promised that there should be
-no hitch in the proceedings.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The week that followed the events last narrated
-slipped pleasantly and quickly away. As George had
-said at once, he was a very happy man; that is to say,
-he believed himself to be so, because the position in
-which he found himself was new, agreeable and highly
-flattering to his vanity. He could not but believe that he
-was taken into the family of his cousin solely on his own
-merits. Being in total ignorance of the fortune between
-which and himself the only barrier was the enfeebled
-health of an invalid old man, he very naturally attributed
-Totty’s anxiety to see him marry her daughter to
-the causes she enumerated. He was still modest enough
-to feel that he was being very much overrated, and to
-fear lest he might some day prove a disappointment to
-his future wife and her family; for the part of the
-desirable young man was new to him, and he did not
-know how he should acquit himself in the performance
-of it. But the delicious belief that he was loved for
-himself, as he was, gave energy to his good resolutions
-and maintained at a genial warmth the feelings he entertained
-for her who loved him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He must not be judged too harshly. In offering to
-marry Mamie, he had felt that he was doing his duty as
-an honourable man, and he assured himself as well as he
-could that he was able to promise the most sincere affection
-and unchanging fidelity in return for her passionate
-love. It was in one respect a sacrifice, for it meant that
-he must act in contradiction to the convictions of his
-whole life. He had always believed in love, and he had
-frequently preached that true and mutual passion was
-the only foundation for lasting happiness in marriage.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_324'>324</span>At the moment of acceding to Mrs. Trimm’s very
-clearly expressed proposal, George had felt that Mamie
-would be to him hereafter what she had always been
-hitherto, neither more nor less. He did not wish to
-marry her, and if he agreed to do so, it was because he
-was assured that her happiness depended upon it, and
-that he had made himself responsible for her happiness
-by his conduct towards her. Being once persuaded of
-this, and assured that he alone had done the mischief,
-he was chivalrous enough to have married the girl,
-though she had been ugly, ill-educated and poor, instead
-of being rich, refined and full of charm, and to all outward
-appearances he would have married her with as
-good a grace and would have behaved towards her afterwards
-with as much consideration as though he had
-loved her. But the fact that Mamie possessed so many
-real and undeniable graces and advantages had made the
-sacrifice seem singularly easy, and the twenty-four hours
-that succeeded the moment of forming the resolution,
-had sufficed to destroy the idea of sacrifice altogether.
-Hitherto, George had fought against the belief that he
-was loved, and had done his best to laugh at it. Now,
-he was at liberty to accept that belief and to make it one
-of the chief pleasures of his thoughts. It flattered his
-heart, as Totty’s professed appreciation of his fine qualities
-flattered his intelligence. In noble natures flattery
-produces a strong desire to acquit the debt which seems
-to be created by the acceptance of undue praise. Men
-of such temper do not like to receive and give nothing in
-return, nor can they bear to be thought braver, more
-generous or more gifted than they are. Possessing that
-high form of self-esteem which is honourable pride, they
-feel all the necessity of being in their own eyes worthy
-of the estimation they enjoy in the opinion of other men.
-The hatred of all false positions is strong in them and
-they are not quick to believe that they are justly valued
-by the world.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George found it easy to imagine that he loved the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_325'>325</span>young girl, when he had once admitted the fact that she
-loved him. It was indeed the pleasantest deception he
-had ever submitted to, or encouraged himself in accepting.
-He hid from himself the fact that his heart had
-never been satisfied, considering that it was better to
-take the realities of a brilliant future than to waste time
-and sentiment in dreaming of illusions. There was
-nothing to be gained by weighing the undeveloped capabilities
-of his affections against the manifestations of
-them which had hitherto been thrust upon his notice.
-He was doing what he believed to be best for every one
-as well as for himself, and no good could come of a
-hypercriticism of his sensibilities. Mamie was supremely
-happy, and it was pleasant to feel that he was at once
-the cause and the central figure in her happiness. The
-course of true love should run pleasantly for her at least,
-and its course would not be hard for him to follow.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A fortnight passed before he thought of fulfilling his
-promise and visiting Grace. The attraction was not
-great, but he felt a certain curiosity to know how she
-was recovering from the shock she had sustained. Once
-more he crossed the river and walked up the long avenue
-to the old house. As he was passing through the garden
-he unexpectedly came upon Constance, who was wandering
-idly through the deserted walks.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is so long since we have met!” she exclaimed,
-with an intonation of gladness, as she put out her hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” George answered. “I came once to see your
-sister, but you were not with her. How is she?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She is well—as well as any one could expect. I
-have tried to persuade her to go away, but she will not,
-though I am sure it is bad for her to stay here.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But you cannot stay for ever. It is already autumn—it
-will soon be winter.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I cannot tell,” Constance answered indifferently
-enough. “I confess that I care very little whether we
-pass the winter here or in town, provided Grace is contented.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_326'>326</span>“You ought to consider yourself to some extent. You
-look tired, and you must weary of all this sadness and
-dismal solitude. It stands to reason that you should
-need a change.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No change would make any difference to me,” said
-Constance, walking slowly along the path and swinging
-her parasol slowly from side to side.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you mean that you are ill?” George asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No indeed! I am never really ill. But it is a waste
-of breath to talk of such things. Come into the house.
-Grace will be so glad to see you; she has been anticipating
-your visit for a long time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Presently,” said George. “The afternoons are still
-long and it is pleasant here in the garden.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you want to talk to me?” asked the young girl,
-with the slightest intonation of irony.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish to tell you something—something that will
-surprise you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not easily surprised. Is it about yourself?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—it is not announced yet, but I want you to
-know it. You will tell no one, of course. I am going to
-be married.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed!” exclaimed Constance, with a slight start.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. I am sure you will be glad to hear it. I am
-engaged to be married to my cousin, Mamie Trimm.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance was looking so ill, already, that it could not
-be said that she turned pale at the announcement. She
-walked quietly on, gazing before her steadily at some distant
-object.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is rather sudden, I suppose,” said George in a tone
-that sounded unpleasantly apologetic in his own ears.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Rather,” Constance answered with an effort. “I
-confess that I am astonished. You have my best congratulations.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She paused, and reflected that her words were very
-cold. She felt an odd chill in herself as well as in her
-language, and tried to shake it off.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you are happy, I am very glad,” she said. “It
-was not what I expected, but I am very glad.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_327'>327</span>“Thanks. But, Constance, what did you expect—something
-very different? Why?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing—nothing—it is very natural, of course.
-When are you to be married?” All the coldness had
-returned to her voice as she put the question.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I believe it is to be in November. It will certainly
-be before Christmas. Mr. Trimm is expected to-morrow
-or the next day. He cabled his consent.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes? Well, I am glad it has all gone so smoothly. I
-feel cold—is it not chilly here? Let us go in and find
-Grace.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She began to walk more quickly and in a few moments
-they reached the house, not having exchanged any further
-words. As they entered the door she stopped and
-turned to her companion.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Grace is in the drawing-room,” she said. “She wants
-to see you alone—so, good-bye. I hope with all my
-heart that you will be happy—my dear friend. Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She turned and left him standing in the great hall.
-He watched her retreating figure as she entered the
-staircase which led away to the right. He had expected
-something different in her reception of the news, and did
-not know whether to feel disappointed or not. She had
-received the announcement with very great calmness, so
-far as he could judge. That at least was a satisfaction.
-He did not wish to have his equanimity disturbed at
-present by any great exhibition of feeling on the part of
-any one but himself. As he opened the door before him
-he wondered whether Constance were really glad or sorry
-to learn that he was to be married.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace rose and came towards him. He could not help
-thinking that she looked like a beautiful figure of fate
-as she stood in the middle of the room and held out her
-hand to take his. She seemed taller and more imposing
-since her husband’s death and there was something interesting
-in her face which had not been there in old
-times, a look of greater strength, combined with a profound
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_328'>328</span>sadness, which would have attracted the attention
-of any student of humanity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very glad to see you—it is so good of you to
-come,” she said.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I could not do less, since I had promised—even
-apart from the pleasure it gives me to see you. I met
-your sister in the garden. She told me she hoped that
-you would be induced to go away for a time.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace shook her head.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why should I go away?” she asked. “I am less
-unhappy here than I should be anywhere else. There is
-nothing to take me to any other place. Why not stay
-here?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would be better for you both. Your sister is not
-looking well. Indeed I was shocked by the change in
-her.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Really? Poor child! It is not gay for her. I am
-very poor company. You thought she was changed,
-then?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very much,” George answered, thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And it is a long time since you have seen her. Poor
-Constance! It will end in my going away for her sake
-rather than my own. I wonder what would be best for
-her, after all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A journey—a change of some sort,” George suggested.
-He found it very hard to talk with the heartbroken
-young widow, though he could not help admiring
-her, and wondering how long it would be before she took
-another husband.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” Grace answered. “That is not all. She is unsettled,
-uncertain in all she does. If she goes on in this
-way she will turn into one of those morbid, introspective
-women who do nothing but imagine that they have committed
-great sins and are never satisfied with their own
-repentance.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She is too sensible for that——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, she is not sensible, where her conscience is concerned.
-I wish some one would come and take her out
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_329'>329</span>of herself—some one strong, enthusiastic, who would
-shake her mind and heart free of all this nonsense.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In other words,” said George with a smile, “you
-wish that your sister would marry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, if she would marry the right man—a man like
-you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Like me!” George exclaimed in great surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—since I have said it. I did not mean to tell
-you so. I wish she would marry you after all. You will
-say that I am capricious and you will laugh at the way
-in which I have changed my mind. I admit it. I made
-a mistake. I misjudged you. If it were all to be lived
-over again, instead of paying no attention to what happened,
-as I did during the last year, I would make her
-marry you. It would have been much better. I made a
-great mistake in letting her alone.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I had never expected to hear you say that,” said
-George, looking into her brown eyes and trying to read
-her thoughts.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not given to talking about myself, as you may
-have noticed, but I once told you that my only virtue was
-honesty. What I think, I say, if there is any need of
-saying anything. I told you that I never hated you,
-and it is quite true. I disliked you and I did not want
-you for a brother-in-law. In the old days, more than a
-year ago, Constance and I used to quarrel about you.
-She admired everything you did, and I saw no reason to
-do so. That was before you published your first book,
-when you used to write so many articles in the magazines.
-She thought them all perfection, and I thought
-some of them were trash and I said so. I daresay you
-think it is not very complimentary of me to tell you
-what I think and thought. Perhaps it is not. There is
-no reason why I should make compliments after what I
-have said. You have written much that I have liked
-since, and you have made a name for yourself. My
-judgment may be worthless, but those who can judge
-have told me that some things you have done will live.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_330'>330</span>But that is not the reason why I have changed my mind
-about you. If you were still writing those absurd little
-notices in the papers, I should think just as well of you,
-yourself, as I do now. You are not what I thought you
-were—a clever, rather weak, vain creature without the
-strength of being enthusiastic, nor the courage to be
-cynical. That is exactly what I thought. You will forgive
-me if I tell you so frankly, will you not? I found
-out that you are strong, brave and honourable. I do not
-expect that you will ever think again of marrying my
-sister, but if you do I shall be glad, and if you do not,
-I shall always be sorry that I did not use all my influence
-in making Constance accept you. That is a long
-speech, but every word of it is true, and I am glad I
-have told you just what I think.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was silent for some seconds. There were assuredly
-many people in the world from whom he would
-have resented such an exposition of opinion in regard to
-himself. But Grace was not one of these. He respected
-her judgment in a way he could not explain, and he felt
-that all she had said confirmed his own ideas about her
-character.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am glad you have told me,” he answered at length.
-“I have changed my mind about you, too. I used to feel
-that you were the opposing barrier between your sister
-and me, and that but for you we should have been happily
-married long ago. I hated you accordingly, with a
-fine unreasoning hatred. You were very frank with me
-when you came to give me her decision. I believed you
-at the moment, but when I was out of the house I began
-to think that you had arranged the whole thing between
-you, and that you were the moving power. It was
-natural enough, but my common sense told me that I
-was wrong within a month of the time. I have liked
-your frankness, in my heart, all along. It has been the
-best thing in the whole business.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You and I understand each other,” said Grace, leaning
-back in her seat and watching his dark face from
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_331'>331</span>beneath her heavy, drooping lids. “It is strange. I
-never thought we should, and until lately I never thought
-it would be pleasant if we did.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George was struck by the familiarity of her tone. She
-had always been the person of all others who had treated
-him with the most distant civility, and whose phrases in
-speaking with him had been the coldest and the most
-carefully chosen. He had formerly wondered how her
-voice would sound if she were suddenly to say something
-friendly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are very good,” he answered presently. “With
-regard to the rest—to what you have said about your
-sister. I have done my best to put the past out of my
-mind, and I have succeeded. When I met her in the
-garden just now, I told her what has happened in my
-life. I am to be married very soon. I did not mean to
-tell any one but Miss Fearing until it was announced
-publicly, but I cannot help telling you, after what you
-have said. I am going to marry my cousin in two
-months.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace did not change her position nor open her eyes
-any wider. She had expected to hear the news before long.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” she said, “I thought that would happen. I
-am very glad to hear it. Mamie is thorough and will
-suit you much better than Constance ever could. I wish
-that Constance were half as natural and enthusiastic and
-sensible. She has so much, but she has not that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No enthusiasm?” asked George, remembering how
-he had lived upon her appreciation of his work.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. She has changed very much since you used to
-see her every day. You had a good influence over her,
-you stirred her mind, though you did not succeed in stirring
-her heart enough. She cares for nothing now, she
-never talks, never reads, never does anything but write
-long letters to Dr. Drinkwater about her poor people—or
-her soul, I do not quite know which. No, you need not
-look grave, I am not abusing her. Poor child, I wish I
-could do anything to make her forget that same soul of
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_332'>332</span>hers, and those eternal hospitals and charities! Your
-energy did her good. It roused her and made her think.
-She has a heart somewhere, I suppose, and she has plenty
-of head, but she smothers them both with her soul.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She will get over that,” said George. “She will outgrow
-it. It is only a phase.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“She will never get over it, until she is married,”
-Grace answered in a tone of conviction.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is very strange. You talk now as if you were her
-mother instead of being her younger sister.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Her younger sister!” Grace exclaimed with a sigh.
-“I am a hundred years older than Constance. Older in
-everything, in knowing the meanings of the two great
-words—happiness and suffering.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Indeed, you may say that,” George answered in a low
-voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I sometimes think that they are the only two words
-that have any meaning left for me, or that should mean
-anything to the rest of the world.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The settled look of pain deepened upon her face as she
-spoke, not distorting nor changing the pure outlines, but
-lending them something solemn and noble that was almost
-grand. George looked at her with a sort of awe, and the
-great question of the meaning of all life and death rose
-before him, as he remembered her husband’s death grip
-upon his arm, and the moment when he himself had
-breathed in the cool water and given up the struggle.
-He had opened his eyes again to this world to see all
-that was to result of pain and suffering from the death
-of the other, whose sight had gone out for ever. They
-had been together in the depths. The one had been
-drowned and had taken with him the happiness of the
-woman he had loved. The other, he himself, had been
-saved and another woman’s life had been filled with sunshine.
-Why the one, rather than the other? He, who
-had always faced life as he had found it, and fought with
-whatever opposed him, asked himself whether there were
-any meaning in it all. Why should those two great
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_333'>333</span>things, happiness and suffering, be so unevenly distributed?
-Was poor John Bond a loss to humanity in
-the aggregate? Not a serious one. Did he, George Wood,
-care whether John Bond were alive or dead, beyond the
-decent regret he felt, or ought to feel? No, assuredly
-not. Would Constance have cared, if he had not chanced
-to be her sister’s husband, did Totty care, did Mamie
-care? No. They were all shocked, which is to say that
-their nerves, including his own, had been painfully
-agitated. And yet this man, John Bond, for whom nobody
-cared, but whom every one respected, had left
-behind him in one heart a grief that was almost awe-inspiring,
-a sorrow that sought no expression, and
-despised words, that painted its own image on the
-woman’s face and spread its own solemn atmosphere
-about her. A keen, cool, sharp-witted young lawyer, by
-the simple act of departing this world, had converted a
-pretty and very sensible young woman into a tragic muse,
-had lent her grandeur of mien, had rendered her imposing,
-had given her a dignity that momentarily placed her
-higher than other women in the scale of womanhood.
-Which was the real self? The self that was gone, or the
-one that remained? Had a great sorrow given the
-woman a fictitious importance, or had it revealed something
-noble in her which no one had known before?
-Whichever were true, Grace was no longer the Grace
-Fearing of old, and George felt a strange admiration for
-her growing up within him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are right, I think,” he said after a long pause.
-“Happiness and suffering are the only words that have
-or ought to have any meaning. The rest—it is all a
-matter of opinion, of taste, of fashion, of anything you
-please excepting the heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Constance will tell you that right and wrong are the
-two important words,” said Grace. “And she will tell
-you that real happiness consists in being able to distinguish
-between the two, and that the only suffering lies
-in confounding the wrong with the right.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_334'>334</span>“Does religion mean that we are to feel nothing?”
-George asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is what the religion of people who have never
-felt anything seems to mean. Pay no attention to your
-sorrows and distrust all your joys, because they are of no
-importance compared with the welfare of your soul. It
-matters not who lives or who dies, who is married, or
-who is betrayed, provided you take care of your soul, of
-your miserable, worthless, selfish little soul and bring
-it safe to heaven!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That must be an odd sort of religion,” said George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is the religion of those who cannot feel. It is
-good enough for them. I do not know why I am talking
-in this way, except that it is a relief to be able to talk
-to some one who understands. When are you to be
-married?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope it may be in November.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“By-the-bye, what will Mr. Craik think of the marriage?
-He ought to do something for Mamie, I suppose.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Craik is my own familiar enemy,” said George.
-“I never take into consideration what he is likely to do
-or to leave undone. He will do what seems right in his
-own eyes, and that will very probably seem wrong in the
-eyes of others.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mrs. Trimm doubtless knows best what can be done
-with him. What did Constance say, when you told her
-of your engagement?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very little. What she will say to you, I have no
-doubt. That she hopes I shall be happy and is very glad
-to hear of the marriage.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wonder whether she cares,” said Grace thoughtfully.
-George thought it would be more discreet to say
-nothing than to give his own opinion in the matter.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No one can tell,” Grace continued. “Least of all,
-herself. I have once or twice thought that she regretted
-you and wished you would propose again. And then, at
-other times, I have felt sure that she was only bored—bored
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_335'>335</span>to death with me, with her surroundings, with
-Dr. Drinkwater, the poor and her soul. Poor child, I
-hope she will marry soon!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I hope so,” said George as he rose to leave. “Will
-you be kind enough not to say anything about the
-engagement until it is announced? That will be in a
-fortnight or so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Certainly. Come and see me when it is out, unless
-you will come sooner. It is so good of you. Good-bye.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He left the house and walked down the garden in the
-direction of the trees, thinking very much more of Grace
-and of her conversation than of Constance. Apart from
-her appearance, which had a novel interest for him, and
-which excited his sympathy, he hardly knew whether he
-had been attracted or repelled by her uncommon frankness
-of speech. There was something in it which he
-did not recognise as having belonged to her before in the
-same degree, something more like masculine bluntness
-than feminine honesty. It seemed as though she had
-caught and kept something of her dead husband’s manner.
-He wondered whether she spoke as she did in
-order to remind herself of him by using words that had
-been familiar in his mouth. He was engaged in these
-reflections when he was surprised to meet Constance
-face to face as he turned a corner in the path.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I thought you were indoors,” he said, glancing at her
-face as though expecting to see some signs of recent
-distress there.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But if Constance had shed tears she had successfully
-effaced all traces of them, and her features were calm
-and composed. The truth of the matter was that she
-feared lest she had betrayed too much feeling in the
-interview in the garden, and now, to do away with any
-mistaken impression in George’s mind, she had resolved
-to show herself to him again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you in your boat?” she asked. “I thought that
-as it was rather chilly, and if you did not mind, I would
-ask you to row me out for ten minutes in the sun. Do
-you mind very much?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_336'>336</span>“I shall be delighted,” said George, wondering what
-new development of circumstances had announced itself
-in her sudden desire for boating.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A few minutes later she was seated in the stern and
-he was rowing her leisurely up stream. To his surprise,
-she talked easily, touching upon all sorts of subjects and
-asking him questions about his book in her old, familiar
-way, but never referring in any way to the past, nor to
-his engagement, until at her own request he had brought
-her back to the landing. She insisted upon his letting
-her walk to the house alone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good-bye,” she said, “and so many thanks. I am
-quite warm now—and I am very, very glad about the
-engagement and grateful to you for telling me. I hope
-you will ask me to the wedding!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course,” George answered imperturbably and then,
-as he pulled out into the stream he watched her slight
-figure as she followed the winding path that led up from
-the landing to the level of the grounds above. When
-she had reached the top, she waved her hand to him and
-smiled.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would not have him think that I cared—not for
-the whole world!” she was saying to herself as she made
-the friendly signal and turned away.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXIV.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Sherrington Trimm arrived on the following afternoon,
-rosier and fresher than ever, and considerably
-reduced in weight. After the first general and affectionate
-greeting he proceeded to interview each member of
-the family in private, as though he were getting up
-evidence for a case. It was characteristic of him that
-he spoke to Mamie first. The most important point in
-his estimation was to ascertain whether the girl were
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_337'>337</span>really in love, or whether she had only contracted a
-passing attachment for George Wood. Knowing all that
-he did, and all that he supposed was unknown to his
-wife, he could not but regard the match with complacency,
-so far as worldly advantages were concerned.
-But if he had been once assured that his daughter’s
-happiness was really at stake, he would have given her
-as readily to George, the comparatively impecunious
-author, as to Mr. Winton Wood, the future millionaire.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Now, Mamie,” he said, linking his arm in hers and
-leading her into the garden, “now, Mamie, tell us all
-about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie blushed faintly and gave her father a shy
-glance, and then looked down.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is not much to tell,” she answered. “I love
-him, and I am very happy. Is not that enough?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are quite sure of yourself, eh?” Mr. Trimm
-looked sharply at her face. “And how long has this
-been going on?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“All my life—though—well, how can I explain,
-papa? You ought to understand. One finds out such
-things all at once, and then one knows that they have
-always been there.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose so,” said Sherry. “You did not know that
-‘it,’ as you call it, was there when I went away.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh yes, I did.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, did you know it a year ago?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, perhaps not. Oh, papa, this is like twenty
-questions.” Mamie laughed happily.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is it? Never played the game—cannot say. And
-you have no doubts about him, have you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How can anybody doubt him!” Mamie exclaimed
-indignantly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is my business to doubt,” said Sherry Trimm with
-a twinkle in his eye. “’I am the doubter and the doubt’—never
-knew what it meant till to-day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then go away, papa!” laughed the young girl.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And let George have a chance. I suppose that is
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_338'>338</span>what you mean. On the whole, perhaps I could do
-nothing better. But I will just see whether he has any
-doubts, and finish my cigar with him.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thereupon Sherrington Trimm turned sharply on his
-heel and went in search of George. He found him standing
-on the verandah pensively examining a trail of ants
-that were busily establishing communication between
-the garden walk and a tiny fragment of sponge cake
-which had fallen upon the step during afternoon tea.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George,” said Sherry in business-like tones, through
-which, however, the man’s kindly good nature was
-clearly appreciable, “do you mind telling me in a few
-words why you want to marry my daughter?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George turned his head, and there was a pleasant smile
-upon his face. Then he pointed to the trail of ants.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Sherrington Trimm,” he said, “do you mind
-explaining to me very briefly why those ants are so particularly
-anxious to get at that piece of cake?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Like it, I suppose,” Sherry answered laconically.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is exactly my case. I have gone to the length
-of falling very much in love with Mamie, and I wish to
-marry her. I understand that her views coincide with
-mine and that you make no objections. I think that the
-explanation is complete.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well stated. Now, look here. The only thing
-I care for on earth is that child’s happiness. She is not
-like all girls. You may have found that out, by this
-time. If you behave yourself as I think you will, she
-will be the best wife to you that man ever had. If you
-do not—well, there is no knowing what she will do, but
-whatever it is, it will surprise you. I do not know
-whether hearts break nowadays as easily as they used
-to, and I am not prepared to state positively that Mamie’s
-heart would break under the circumstances. But if you
-do not treat her properly, she will make it pretty deuced
-hot for you, and by the Eternal, so will I, my boy. I
-like to put the thing in its proper light.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do,” laughed George, “with uncommon clearness.
-I am prepared to run all risks of that sort.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_339'>339</span>“Hope so,” returned Sherry Trimm, smoking thoughtfully.
-“Now then, George,” he resumed in a more confidential
-tone, after a short pause, “there is a little
-matter of business between you and me. We are old
-friends, and I might be your father in point of age, and
-now about to become your father-in-law in point of fact.
-How about the bread and butter? I have no intention
-of giving Mamie a fortune. No, no, I know you are
-aware of that, but there are material considerations, you
-know. Now, just give me an idea of how you propose
-to live.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If I do not lose my health, we can live very comfortably,”
-George answered. “I think I can undertake to
-say that we should need no help. It would not be like
-this—like your way of living, of course. But we can
-have all we need and a certain amount of small luxury.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Hum!” ejaculated Sherry Trimm in a doubting
-tone. “Not much luxury, I am afraid.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A certain amount,” George answered quietly. “I
-have earned over ten thousand dollars during the last
-year and I have kept most of it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Really!” exclaimed the other. “I did not know
-that literature was such a good thing. But you may not
-always earn as much, next year, or the year after.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is unlikely, unless I break down. I do not
-know why that should happen to me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You do not look like it,” said Sherry, eyeing George’s
-spare and vigorous frame, and his clear, brown skin.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not feel like it,” said George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, look here. I will tell you what I will do. I
-have my own reasons for not giving you a house just
-now. But I will give Mamie just half as much as you
-make, right along. I suppose that is fair. I need not
-tell you that she will have everything some day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You may give Mamie anything you like,” George
-answered indifferently. “I shall never ask questions. If
-I fall ill and cannot work for a long time together, you
-will have to support her, and my father will support
-me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_340'>340</span>“I daresay we could spare you a crust, my boy,” said
-Sherrington Trimm, laying his small hand upon George’s
-broad, bony shoulder and pushing him along. “I do not
-want to keep you any longer, if you have anything
-to do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George sauntered away in the direction of the garden,
-and Sherry Trimm went indoors to find his wife. Totty
-met him in the drawing-room, having just returned from
-a secret interview with her cook, in the interests of
-Sherry’s first dinner at home.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Totty, look here,” he said, selecting a comfortable
-chair and sitting down. He leaned back, crossed his
-legs, raised his hands and set them together, thumb to
-thumb and finger to finger, but said nothing more.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am looking,” said Totty with a sweet smile. She
-seated herself beside him. “I have already looked. You
-are wonderfully better—I am so glad.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. Those waters have screwed me up a peg. But
-that is not what I mean. When I say, look here, I mean
-to suggest that you should concentrate your gigantic intellect
-upon the consideration of the matter in hand.
-You have made this match, and you are responsible for
-it. Will you tell me why you have made it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How do you mean that I have made it?” asked Totty
-evasively.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Innocence, thy name is Charlotte!” exclaimed
-Sherry, looking at the ceiling. “You brought George
-here, you knew that Mamie liked him and that he would
-like her, not on the first day, nor on the second, but
-inevitably on the third or fourth. You knew that on
-the fifth day they would love each other, that they would
-tell each other so on the sixth, and that the seventh day,
-being one of rest, would be devoted to obtaining our
-consent. You knew also that George was, and is, a
-penniless author—I admit that he earns a good deal—and
-yet you have done all in your power to make Mamie
-marry him. The fact that I like him has nothing to do
-with it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_341'>341</span>“Nothing to do with it! Oh, Sherry, how can you
-say such things!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nothing whatever. I would have liked lots of other
-young fellows just as well. What especial reason had
-you for selecting this particular young fellow? That is
-what I want to get at.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, is that all? Mamie loved him, my dear. I
-knew it long ago, and as I knew that you would not disapprove,
-I brought him here. It is not a question of
-money. We have more than we can ever need. It is
-not as if we had two or three sons to start in the world,
-Sherry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>She lent an intonation of sadness to the last words,
-which, as she was aware, always produced the same
-effect upon her husband. He had bitterly regretted
-having no son to bear his honourable name.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is just it,” he answered sadly. “Mamie is
-everything, and everything is for her. That is the
-reason why we should be careful. She is not like a
-great many girls. She has a heart and she will break
-it, if she is not happy.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is the very reason. You do not seem to realise
-that she is madly in love.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No doubt, but was she madly in love, as you call it,
-when you brought them here?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Long before that——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then why did you never tell me—we might have
-had him to the house all the time——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Because I supposed, as every one else did, that he
-meant to marry Constance Fearing. I did not want to
-spoil his life, and I thought that Mamie would get over
-it. But the thing came to nothing. In fact, I begin to
-believe that there never was anything in it, and that the
-story was all idle gossip from beginning to end. He is
-on as good terms as ever with her and goes over there
-from time to time to console poor Grace.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh!” ejaculated Sherry in a thoughtful tone.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You need not say ‘oh,’ like that. There is nothing
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_342'>342</span>to be afraid of. It is perfectly natural that the poor
-woman should like to see him, when he nearly died in
-trying to save her husband. They say she is in a dreadful
-state, half mad, and ill, and so changed!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Poor John!” exclaimed Sherry sadly. “I shall
-never see his like again.” He sighed, for he had been
-very fond of the man, besides looking upon him as a
-most promising partner in his law business.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It was dreadful!” Mrs. Trimm shuddered as she
-thought of the accident. “I cannot bear to talk about
-it,” she added.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A short pause followed, during which Totty wore a
-very sad expression, and Sherry examined attentively a
-ring he wore upon his finger, in which a dark sapphire
-was set between two very white diamonds.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is one thing,” he said suddenly. “The sooner
-we pull up stakes the better. I do not propose to spend the<a id='t342'></a>
-best part of my life in the cars. The weather is cool
-and we will go back to town. So pack up your traps,
-Totty, and let us be off. Have you written to Tom?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” said Totty. “I would not announce the engagement
-till we were settled in town.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Sherrington Trimm departed on the following morning,
-alleging with truth that the business could not be allowed
-to go to pieces. Totty and the two young people were
-to return two or three days later, and active preparations
-were at once made for moving. Totty, indeed, could
-not bear the idea of allowing her husband to remain
-alone in New York. It was possible that at any moment
-he might discover that the will was missing from her
-brother’s box. She might indeed have been spared
-much anxiety in this matter had she known that although
-Sherry had sealed and marked the document himself,
-it was not he who had placed it in the receptacle where
-it had been found by his wife. Sherry had handed it
-across the table to John Bond, telling him to put it in
-Craik’s deed-box, and had seen John leave the room
-with it, but had never seen it since. It was not, indeed,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_343'>343</span>until much later that he had communicated to his partner
-the contents of the paper. If it could not now be
-found, Sherry would suppose that John had accidentally
-put it into the wrong box and a general search would be
-made. Then it would be thought that John had mislaid
-it. In any case poor John was dead and could not
-defend himself. Sherry would go directly to Tom Craik
-and get him to sign a duplicate, but he would never,
-under any conceivable combination of circumstances,
-connect his wife with the disappearance of the will, nor
-mention the fact in her presence. Totty, however, was
-ignorant of these facts, and lived in the constant fear of
-being obliged to explain matters to her husband. Though
-she had thought much of the matter she had not hit
-upon any expedient for restoring the document to its
-place. She kept it in a small Indian cabinet which her
-brother had once given her, in which there was a hidden
-drawer of which no one knew the secret but herself.
-This cabinet she had brought with her and had kept all
-through the summer in a prominent place in the drawing-room,
-justly deeming that things are generally most
-safely hidden when placed in the most exposed position,
-where no one would ever think of looking for them. On
-returning to New York the cabinet was again packed in
-one of Totty’s own boxes, but the will was temporarily
-concealed about her person, to be restored to its hiding-place
-as soon as she reached the town house.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Before leaving the neighbourhood George felt that it
-was his duty to apprise Constance and her sister of his
-departure, but he avoided the necessity of making a visit
-by writing a letter to Grace. It seemed to him more
-fitting that he should address his note to her rather than
-to her sister, considering all that had happened. He
-urged that both should return to New York before the
-winter began, and he inserted a civil message for Constance
-before he concluded.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie took an affectionate leave of the place in which
-she had been so happy. During the last hours of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_344'>344</span>day preceding their return to town, George never left
-her side, while she wandered through the walks of the
-garden and beneath the beautiful trees, back to the
-house, in and out of the rooms, then lingered again upon
-the verandah and gazed at the distant river. He watched
-the movements of her faultless figure as she sat down
-for the last time in the places where they had so often
-sat together, then rose quickly, and, linking her arm in
-his, led him away to some other well-remembered spot.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have been so happy here!” she said for the hundredth
-time.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You shall be as happy in other places, if I can make
-you so,” George answered.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Shall we? Shall I?” she asked, looking up into his
-face. “Who can tell! One is never so sure of the future
-as one is of the past—and the present. Shall we take
-it all with us to our little house in New York? How
-funny it will seem to be living all alone with you in a
-little house! I shall not give you champagne every day,
-George. You need not expect it! It will be a very
-little house, and I shall do all the work.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you will allow me to black the boots, I shall be
-most happy,” said George. “I know how.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Imagine! You, blacking boots!” exclaimed Mamie
-indignantly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why not? But seriously, we can do a great deal
-more than you fancy—provided, as you say, that we do
-not go in for champagne every day, and keep horses and
-all that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think we shall have more champagne and horses
-than other things,” Mamie answered with a laugh.
-“Mamma is going to keep a carriage for me, as well as
-my dear old riding horse, and papa told me not to let
-you buy any wine, because there was some of that particular
-kind you like on the way out. Between you
-and me, I do not think they really expect us to be in
-the least economical, though mamma is always talking
-about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_345'>345</span>She was very happy and it was impossible for her to
-cloud the future by the idea of being deprived of any of
-the luxury to which she had always been accustomed.
-She knew in her heart that she was both willing and
-able to undergo any privation for George’s sake, but it
-would have been unlike her to talk of what she would
-or could do when there was no immediate prospect of
-doing it. Her chief thought was to make her husband’s
-house comfortable, and if she knew something of the art
-from having watched her mother, she knew also that
-comfort, as she understood it, required a very free use
-of money. George knew it, too, since he had been
-brought up in luxury and had been deprived of it at the
-age when such things are most keenly felt. The terrible,
-noiseless, hourly expenditure that he had seen in
-Totty’s house made the exiguity of his own resources
-particularly apparent to his judgment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good-bye, dear old place!” cried the young girl, as
-they stood on the verandah at dusk, before going in to
-dress for dinner. She threw kisses with her fingers at
-the garden and at the trees.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George stood by her side in silence, gazing out at the
-dim outline of the distant hills beyond the river.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you not sorry to leave it all?” Mamie asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very sorry,” he answered, as though not knowing
-what he said. Then he stooped, and kissed her small
-white face, and they both went in.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>That night George sat up late in his room, looking
-over the manuscript that had grown under his hand during
-the summer months. It was all but finished and he
-intended to write the last chapter in New York, but it
-interested him to look through it before leaving the surroundings
-in which it had been written. What most
-struck him in the work was the care with which it was
-done. It was not a very imaginative book, but it was
-remarkable for its truth and clearness of style. He
-wondered at the coldness of certain scenes, which in his
-first conception of the story had promised to be the most
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_346'>346</span>dramatic. He wondered still more at the success with
-which he had handled points which in themselves
-seemed to be far from attractive to the novelist. His
-conversations were better than they had formerly been,
-but the love scenes were unsatisfactory, and he determined
-that he would re-write some of them. The whole
-book looked too truthful and too little enthusiastic to
-him, now, though he fancied that he had passed through
-moments of enthusiasm while he was writing it. On the
-whole, it was a disappointment to himself, and he believed
-that others would be disappointed likewise. He
-asked himself what Johnson would think of it, and made
-up his mind to abide by his opinion. Vaguely too, as
-one sometimes longs to see again a book once read, he
-wished that he might have Constance’s criticism and
-advice, though he was conscious at the same time that it
-was not the sort of story she would have liked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Two days later, he found himself once more in his
-little room in his father’s house. The old gentleman
-received the news of the engagement in silence. He
-had guessed that matters would terminate as they had,
-and the prospect had given him little satisfaction. He
-thought that the alliance would probably cut him off
-from his son’s society, and he was inwardly hurt that
-George should seem indifferent to the fact. But he said
-nothing. From the worldly point of view the marriage
-was a brilliant one, and it meant that George must ultimately
-be a rich man. His future at least was provided
-for.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George found Johnson hard at work, as usual, and if
-possible paler and more in earnest than before. He had
-taken a week’s holiday during the hottest part of the
-summer, but with that exception had never relaxed in
-his astounding industry since they had last met.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How particularly sleek you look,” he said, scrutinising
-George’s face as the latter sat down.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I feel sleek,” George answered with a slight laugh.
-“I believe that is what is the matter with the book I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_347'>347</span>have been writing since I saw you. I am not satisfied
-with it, and I want your opinion. I sat up all last night
-to write the last chapter in my old den. I think it is
-better than the rest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is a pity. It will look like a new silk hat on
-a beggar—or like a wig on a soup-tureen, as the Frenchmen
-say. But I daresay you are quite wrong about the
-rest of it. You generally are. For a man who can
-write a good story in good English when he tries, you
-have as little confidence as I ever saw in any one. The
-public does not write books and does not know how they
-are written. It will never find out that you wrote the
-beginning in clover and the end in nettles.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh—the public!” exclaimed George. “One never
-knows what it will do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“One may guess, sometimes. The public consists of
-a vast collection of individuals collected in a crowd
-around the feet of four great beasts. There is the ignorant
-beast and the learned beast, the virtuous beast and
-the vicious beast. They are all four beasts in their way,
-because they all represent an immense accumulation of
-prejudice, in four different directions and having four
-different followings, all pulling different ways. You
-cannot possibly please them all and it is quite useless
-to try.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose you mean that the four beasts are the four
-kinds of critics. Is that it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No,” Johnson answered. “That is not it at all. If
-we critics had more real influence with the public, the
-public would be all the better for it. As it is, the real
-critic is dying out, because the public will not pay
-enough to keep him alive. It is sad, but I suppose it
-is natural. This is the age of free thought, and the
-phrase, if you interpret it as most people do, means that
-all men are to consider themselves critics, whether they
-know anything or not. Have you brought your manuscript
-with you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No. I wanted to ask first whether you would read it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_348'>348</span>“You need not be so humble, now that you are a
-celebrity,” said Johnson with a laugh. “You do not
-look the part, either. What has happened to you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am going to be married,” George answered. “I
-am to marry my cousin, Miss Trimm.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Not Sherrington Trimm’s daughter!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“The same, if it please you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I congratulate you on leaving the literary career,”
-said Johnson with a sardonic smile. “I suppose you
-will never do another stroke of work. Well—it is a
-pity.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have to work for my living as I have done for
-years,” George answered. “Do you imagine that I
-would live upon other people’s money?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you really mean to go on working?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course I do, as long as I can hold a pen. I
-should if I were rich in my own right, for love of the
-thing.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Love of the thing is not enough. Are you ambitious?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not know. I never thought about it. To me,
-the question is whether a thing is well done or not, for
-its own sake. The success of it means money, which I
-need, but apart from that I do not think I care very
-much about it. I may be mistaken. I value your opinion,
-for instance, and if I knew other men like you, I
-should value theirs.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You will never succeed to any extent without ambition,”
-Johnson answered with great energy. “It is
-everything in literature. You must feel that you will
-go mad if you are not first, if you are not acknowledged
-to be better than any one else during your lifetime. You
-must make people understand that you are a dangerous
-rival, and you must have the daily satisfaction of knowing
-that they feel it. Literature is like the storming of
-a redoubt, you must climb upon the bodies of the slain
-and be the first to plant your flag on the top. You must
-lie awake all night, and torment yourself all day to find
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_349'>349</span>some means of doing a thing better than other people.
-To be first, always, all your life, without fear of competition,
-to be Cæsar or to be nothing! I wish I could
-make you feel what I feel!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think I would rather not,” said George. “It must
-be very disturbing to the judgment to be always comparing
-oneself with others instead of trying to do the best
-one can in an independent way.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You will never succeed without ambition,” Johnson
-repeated confidently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then I am afraid I shall never succeed at all, for I
-have not a spark of that sort of ambition. I do not care
-a straw for being thought better than any one else, nor
-for being a celebrity. I want to satisfy myself, my own
-idea of what is a good book, and I am afraid I never
-shall. I suppose that is a sort of ambition too.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is not the right sort.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George knew his friend very well and was familiar
-with most of his ideas. He respected his character, and
-he valued his opinion more than that of any man in his
-acquaintance, but he could never accept his theories as
-infallible. He felt that if he ever succeeded in writing
-a book that pleased him he would recognise its merits
-sooner than any one, and but for the necessity of earning
-a livelihood he would have systematically destroyed
-all his writings until he had attained a satisfactory
-result. That a certain amount of reputation might be
-gained by publishing what he regarded as incomplete or
-inartistic work was to him a matter of indifference,
-except for the material advantages which resulted from
-the transaction. Such, at least, was his belief about
-himself. That he was able to appreciate flattery when
-it was of a good and subtle quality, only showed him
-that he was human, but did not improve his own estimation
-of his productions.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A week later, Johnson returned the manuscript with a
-note in which he gave his opinion of it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will sell,” he wrote. “You are quite mistaken
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_350'>350</span>about yourself, as usual. You told me the other day
-that you had no ambition. Your book proves that you
-have. You have taken the subject treated by Wiggins
-in his last great novel. It made a sensation, but in my
-opinion you have handled it better than he did, though
-he is called a great novelist. It was a very ambitious
-thing to do, and it is wonderful that, while taking a
-precisely similar situation, there should not be a word
-in your work that recalls his. After this, do not tell
-me that you have no ambition, for it is sheer nonsense.
-As for the last chapter, I should not have known that it
-was not written under the same circumstances as all the
-rest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George laughed aloud to himself. He knew the name
-of Wiggins well enough, but he had never read one of
-the celebrated author’s books, and if he had he would
-assuredly not have taken his plot.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But Johnson could not know that,” he said to himself,
-“and I have written just such stuff about other
-people.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The book went to the publisher and he thought no
-more of it. During the time that followed, his days
-were very fully occupied. Between making the necessary
-preparations for his approaching marriage, and the
-pleasant duty of spending a certain number of hours with
-Mamie every day, he had very little time to call his own,
-although nothing of any importance happened to vary
-the course of his life. At the beginning of November
-Constance Fearing and her sister returned to town, and
-at about the same time he was informed by Sherrington
-Trimm that it would be necessary for him to visit Mr.
-Thomas Craik, as he was about to become that gentleman’s
-nephew by marriage.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course, I know all about the old story, George,”
-said Sherry. “But if I were you I would at least try
-and be civil. The fact is, I have reason to know that he
-is haunted by a sort of half-stagey, half-honest remorse
-for what he did, and he is very much pleased with the
-marriage, besides being a great admirer of your books.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_351'>351</span>“All right,” said George, “I will be civil enough.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Sherry Trimm had conveyed exactly the impression
-which he had desired to convey. He had made George
-believe by his manner that he was himself anxious to
-keep his relations with Mr. Craik on a pleasant footing,
-doubtless on account of the money, and he had effectually
-deterred George from quarrelling with his unknown
-benefactor, while he had kept the question of the will
-as closely secret as ever.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXV.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George had never been inside Mr. Craik’s house, and
-the first impression made upon him by the sight of the
-old gentleman’s collected spoil was a singular one. The
-sight of beautiful objects had always given him pleasure,
-but, on the other hand, his mind resented and abhorred
-alike disorder and senseless profusion. He had no touch
-in his composition of that modern taste which delights
-in producing a certain tone of colour in a room, by filling
-it with all sorts of heterogeneous and useless articles,
-of all periods and collected out of all countries.
-It was not sufficient in his eyes that an object should be
-of great value, or of great beauty, or that it should
-possess both at once; it was necessary also that it should
-be so placed as to acquire a right to its position and to
-its surroundings. A Turkish tile, a Spanish-Moorish
-dish, an Italian embroidery and an old picture might
-harmonise very well with each other in colour and in
-general effect, but George Wood’s uncultivated taste
-failed to see why they should all be placed together,
-side by side upon the same wall, any more than why
-a periwig should be set upon a soup-tureen, as Johnson
-had remarked. He felt from the moment he entered the
-house as if he were in a bazaar of <span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">bric-à-brac</span>, where
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_352'>352</span>everything was put up for sale, and in which each object
-must have somewhere a label tied or pasted to it, upon
-which letters and figures mysteriously shadowed forth
-its variable price to the purchaser while accurately defining
-its value to the vendor.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It must not be supposed, however, that because George
-Wood did not like the look of the room in which he found
-himself, it would not have been admired and appreciated
-by many persons of unquestioned good taste. The value
-there accumulated was very great, there was much that
-was exceedingly rare and of exquisite design and workmanship,
-and the vulgarity of the effect, if there were
-any, was of the more subtle and tolerable kind.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George stood in the midst of the chamber, hat in hand,
-waiting for the owner of the collection to appear. A
-door made of panels of thin alabaster set in rich old gilt
-carvings, was opposite to him, and he was wondering
-whether the light actually penetrated the delicate marble
-as it seemed to do, when the chiselled handle turned and
-the door itself moved noiselessly on its hinges. Thomas
-Craik entered the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The old gentleman’s head seemed to have fallen forward
-upon his shoulders, so that he was obliged to look
-sideways and upwards in order to see anything above the
-level of his eyes. Otherwise he did not present so decrepit
-an appearance as George had expected. His step
-was sufficiently brisk, and though his voice was little
-better than a growl, it was not by any means weak. He
-was clothed in light-coloured tweed garments of the
-newest cut, and he wore a red tie, and shoes of varnished
-leather. The corner of a pink silk handkerchief was
-just visible above the outer pocket of his coat, and he
-emanated a perfume which seemed to be combined out
-of Cologne water and Russian leather.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Official visit, eh?” he said with an attempt at a
-pleasant smile. “Glad to see you. Sorry you have
-waited so long before coming. Take a seat.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thanks,” answered George, sitting down. “I am glad
-to see that you are quite yourself again, Mr. Craik.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_353'>353</span>“Quite myself, eh? Never was anybody else long
-enough to know what it felt like. But I have not forgotten
-that you came to ask—no, no, I remember that.
-Going to marry Mamie, eh? Glad to hear it. Well,
-well.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thomas Craik rubbed his emaciated hands slowly together
-and looked sideways at his visitor.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” said George, “I am going to marry Miss
-Trimm——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Call her Mamie, call her Mamie—own niece of mine,
-you know. No use standing on ceremony.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think it is as well to call her Miss Trimm until we
-are married,” George observed, rather coldly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, you think so, do you? Well, well. Not to her
-face, I hope?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George thought that Mr. Craik was one of the most
-particularly odious old gentlemen he had ever met. He
-changed the subject as quickly as he could.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What a wonderful collection of beautiful things you
-have, Mr. Craik,” he said, glancing at a set of Urbino
-dishes that were fastened against the wall nearest to
-him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Something, something,” replied Mr. Craik, modestly.
-“Fond of pretty things? Understand majolica?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very fond of pretty things, but I know nothing
-about majolica. I believe the subject needs immense
-study. They say you are a great authority on all these
-things.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, they say so, do they? Well, well. Books are
-more in your line, eh? Some in the other room if you
-like to see them. Come?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes indeed!” George answered with alacrity. He
-thought that if he must sustain the conversation for five
-minutes longer, it would be a relief to be among things
-he understood. Tom Craik rose and led the way through
-the alabaster door by which he had entered. George
-found himself in a spacious apartment, consisting of two
-rooms which had been thrown into one by building an
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_354'>354</span>arch in the place of the former wall of division. There
-were no windows, but each division was lighted by a
-large skylight of stained glass, supported on old Bohemian
-iron-work. To the height of six feet from the floor,
-the walls were lined with bookcases, the books being
-protected by glass. Above these the walls were completely
-covered with tapestries, stuffs, weapons, old
-plates and similar objects.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Favourite room of mine,” remarked Mr. Craik,
-backing up to the great wood fire, and looking about
-him with side glances, first to the right and then to the
-left. “Look about you, look about you. A lot of books
-in those shelves, eh? Well, well. About three thousand.
-Not many but good and good, as books should be,
-inside and out. Eh? Like that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” said George, moving slowly round the room,
-stooping and then standing erect, as he glanced rapidly
-at the titles of the long rows of volumes. The born man
-of letters warmed at the sight of the familiar names and
-felt less inimically inclined towards the master of the
-house.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I envy you such books to read and such a place in
-which to read them,” he said at last.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I believe you do,” answered Mr. Craik, looking
-pleased. “You look as if you did. Well, well. May
-be all yours some day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How so?” George inquired, growing suddenly cold
-and looking sharply at the old man.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“May leave everything to Totty. Totty may leave
-everything to Mamie. Fact is, any station may be the
-last. May have to hand in my checks at any time.
-Funny world, isn’t it? Eh?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A very humorous and comic world, as you say,”
-George answered, looking at the old man with a rather
-scornful twist of his naturally scornful mouth.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Humorous and comic? I say, funny. It’s shorter.
-What would you do if you owned this house?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would sell it,” George answered with a dry laugh,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_355'>355</span>“sell it, except the books, and live on the interest of the
-proceeds.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And you would do a very sensible thing, Mr. George
-Winton Wood,” returned Tom Craik approvingly. All
-at once he dropped his detached manner of speaking and
-grew eloquent. “You would be doing a very sensible
-thing. A man of your age can have no manner of use
-for all this rubbish. If you ever mean to be a collector,
-reserve that expensive taste for the time when you have
-plenty of money, but can neither eat, drink, sleep, make
-love nor be merry in any way—no, nor write novels
-either. The pleasure does not consist in possessing
-things, it lies in finding them, bargaining for them,
-fighting for them and ultimately getting them. It is the
-same with money, but there is more variety in collecting,
-to my mind, at least. It is the same with everything,
-money, love, politics, collecting, it is only the
-fighting for what you want that is agreeably exciting.
-It has kept me alive, with my wretched constitution,
-when the doctors have been thinking of sending for the
-person in black who carries a tape measure. I never had
-any ambition. I never cared for anything but the fighting.
-I never cared to be first, second or third. I do not
-believe that your ambitious man ever succeeds in life.
-He thinks so much about himself that he forgets what
-he is fighting for. You can easily make a fool of an
-ambitious man by offering him a bait, and you may take
-the thing you want while he is chasing the phantom of
-glory on the other side of the house. I hope you are not
-ambitious. You have begun as if you were not, and you
-have knocked all the stuffing out of the rag dolls the
-critics put up to frighten young authors. I have read a
-good deal in my day, and I have seen a good deal, and I
-have taken a great many things I have wanted. I know
-men, and I know something about books. You ought to
-succeed, for you go about your work as though you liked
-it for the sake of overcoming difficulties, for the sake of
-fighting your subject and getting the better of it. Stick
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_356'>356</span>to that principle. It prolongs life. Pick out the hardest
-thing there is to be done, and go at it, hammer and tongs,
-by hook or by crook, by fair means or foul. If you cannot
-do it, after all, nobody need be the wiser; if you
-succeed every one will cry out in admiration of your industry
-and genius, when you have really only been
-amusing yourself all the time—because nothing can be
-more amusing than fighting. You are quite right. Ambition
-is nonsense and the satisfaction of possession is
-bosh. The only pleasure is in doing and getting. If, in
-the inscrutable ways of destiny, you ever own this
-house, sell it, and when you are old, and crooked, and
-cannot write any more, and people think you are a drivelling
-idiot and are sitting in rows outside your door,
-waiting for dead men’s shoes—why then, you can prolong
-your life by collecting something, as I have done.
-The desire to get the better of a Jew dealer in a bargain
-for a Maestro Georgio, or the determination to find the
-edition which has been heard of but never seen, will
-make your blood circulate and your heart beat, and your
-brain work. I have half a mind to sell the whole thing
-myself for the sake of doing it all over again, and keeping
-somebody waiting ten years longer for the money.
-I might last ten years more if I could hit upon something
-new to collect.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The old man ceased speaking and looked up sideways
-at George, with a keen smile, very unlike the expression
-he assumed when he meant to be agreeable. Then he
-relapsed into his usual way of talking, jerking out short
-sentences and generally omitting the subject or the verb,
-when he did not omit both. It is possible that he had
-delivered his oration for the sake of showing George
-that he could speak English as well as any one when he
-chose to do so.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Like my little speech? Eh?” he inquired.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall not forget it,” George answered. “Your ideas
-cannot be accused of being stale or old fashioned, whatever
-else may be said of them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_357'>357</span>“Put them into a book, will you? Well, well. Daresay
-printer’s ink has been wasted on worse—sometimes.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George did not care to prolong his visit beyond the
-bounds of strict civility, though he had been somewhat
-diverted by his relation’s talk. He asked a few questions
-about the books and discovered that Tom Craik
-was by no means the unreading edition-hunter he had
-supposed him to be. If he had not read all the three
-thousand choice volumes he possessed, he had at least
-a very clear idea of the contents of most of them.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Buying an author and not reading him,” he said, “is
-like buying a pig in a poke and then not even looking at
-the pig afterwards. Eh?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very like,” George answered with a short laugh.
-Then he took his leave. The old man went with him
-as far as the door that led out of the room in which they
-had first met.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Come again,” he said. “Rather afraid of draughts,
-so I leave you here. Good day to you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George took the thin hand that was thrust out at him
-and shook it with somewhat less repulsion that he had
-felt a quarter of an hour earlier. The sight of the books
-had softened his heart a little, as it often softens the
-enmities of literary men when they least expect it. He
-turned away and left the house, wondering whether, after
-all, old Tom Craik had not been judged more harshly
-than he deserved. The man of letters is slow to anger
-against those who show any genuine fondness for his
-profession.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He walked down the avenue, thinking over what he
-had seen and heard. It chanced that after walking some
-time he stepped aside to allow certain ladies to pass him
-and on looking round saw that he was in the door of Mr.
-Popples’s establishment. A thought struck him and he
-went in.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Popples——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good morning, Mr. Winton Wood——” Mr. Popples
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_358'>358</span>thought that the two names sounded better together.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good morning, Mr. Popples. I want to ask you a
-confidential question.” George laughed a little.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Anything, Mr. Winton Wood. Something in regard
-to the sales, no doubt. Well, in point of fact, sir, it is
-just as well to ask now and then how a book is going,
-just for the sake of checking the statement as we say,
-though I will say that Rob Roy and Company——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, no,” George interrupted with a second laugh.
-“They treat me very well. You know Mr. Craik, do
-you not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mr. Craik!” exclaimed the bookseller, with a beaming
-smile. “Why, dear me! Mr. Craik is your first
-cousin once removed, Mr. Winton Wood! Of course I
-know him.” He prided himself on knowing the exact
-degree of relationship existing between his different customers,
-which was equivalent to knowing by heart the
-genealogy of all New York society.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are a subtle flatterer,” George answered. “You
-pretend to know him only because he is my cousin.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A great collector,” returned the other, drawing down
-the corners of his mouth and turning up his eyes as
-though he were contemplating an object of solemn beauty.
-“A great collector! He knows what a book is, old or
-new. He knows, he knows—oh yes, he knows very
-well.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What I want to know is this,” said George. “Does
-Mr. Craik buy my books or not? Do you happen to remember?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, Mr. Winton Wood,” answered Mr. Popples,
-“the fact is, I do happen to remember, by the merest
-chance. The fact is, to be honest, quite honest, Mr.
-Craik does not buy your books. But he reads them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Borrows them, I suppose,” observed George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, not that, exactly, either. The fact is,” said
-the bookseller, lowering his voice to a confidential whisper,
-“Mrs. Sherrington Trimm buys them and sends
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_359'>359</span>them to him. He buys mostly valuable books,” he
-added, as though apologising for Mr. Craik’s stinginess.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thank you, Mr. Popples,” said George, laughing
-for the third time, and turning away.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, not at all, Mr. Winton Wood. Anything, anything.
-Walking this mor——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But George was already out of the shop and the bookseller
-did not take the trouble to pronounce the last syllable,
-as he readjusted his large spectacles and took up
-three or four volumes that lay on the edge of the table.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It cannot be said,” George thought, as he walked on,
-“that I am very much indebted to Mr. Thomas Craik—not
-even for ten per cent on one dollar and twenty-five.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George would have been very much surprised to learn
-that the man who would not spend a dollar and a quarter
-in purchasing one of his novels had left him everything
-he possessed, and that the document which was to prove
-his right was reposing in that Indian cabinet of Mrs.
-Trimm’s, which he had so often admired. It seemed as
-though Totty had planned everything to earn his gratitude,
-and he was especially pleased that she should have
-made her miserly brother read his books. It showed at
-once her own admiration for them and her desire that
-every one belonging to her should share in it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Having nothing especial to do until a later hour,
-George thought of going to see Constance and Grace.
-They had only been in town two days, but he was curious
-to know whether Mrs. Bond had begun to look like herself
-again, or was becoming more and more absorbed in
-her sorrow as time went on. He had not been to the
-house in Washington Square since the first of May, and
-so many events had occurred in his life since that date
-that he felt as though he were separated from it by an
-interval of years instead of months. The time had
-passed very quickly. It would soon be three years since
-he had first gone up those steps with his cousin one afternoon
-in the late winter. As he approached the familiar
-door, he thought of all that had happened in the time,
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_360'>360</span>and he was amazed to find how he had changed. Six
-months earlier he had descended those steps with the
-certainty that the better and sweeter part of his life was
-behind him, and that his happiness had been destroyed
-by a woman’s caprice. It had been a rough lesson but
-he had survived the ordeal and was now a far happier
-man than he had been then. In the flush of success, he
-was engaged to marry a young girl who loved him with
-all her heart, and whom he loved as well as he could.
-The world was before him now, as it had not been then,
-when he had felt himself dependent for his inspiration
-upon Constance’s attachment, and for the help he needed
-upon his daily converse with her. If his heart was not
-satisfied as he had once dreamed that it might be, his
-hopes were raised by the experience of self-reliance. It
-had once seemed bitter to work alone; he had now ceased
-to desire any companionship in his labours. Mamie was
-to be his wife, not his adviser. She was to look up to
-him, and he must make himself worthy of her trust as well
-as of her admiration. He would work for her, labour to
-make her happy, to the extreme extent of his strength,
-and he would be proud of the part he would play. She
-would be the mother of children, graceful and charming
-as herself, or angular, tough and hardworking as he was,
-and he and she would love them. But there the relation
-was to cease, and he was glad of it. He owed much to
-Constance, and was ready to acknowledge the whole debt,
-but neither Constance herself, nor any other woman
-could take the same place in his life again. Least of
-all, she herself, he thought, as he rang the bell of her
-house and waited for admittance. In the old days his
-heart used to beat faster than its wont before he was
-fairly within the precincts of the Square. Now he was
-as unconscious of any emotion as though he were standing
-before his own door.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Grace received him alone in the old familiar drawing-room.
-She happened to be sitting in the place Constance
-used to choose when George came to see her, and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_361'>361</span>he took his accustomed seat, almost unconscious of the
-associations it had once had for him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Constance is gone out,” Grace began. “I am sure
-she will be sorry. It is kind of you to come so soon.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are no better,” George answered, looking at her,
-and not heeding her remark. “I had hoped that you
-might be, but your expression is the same. Why do you
-not go abroad, and make some great change in your life?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am very well,” Grace replied with a faint smile
-which only increased the sadness of her look. “I do
-not care to go away. Why should I? It could make no
-difference.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“But it would. It would make all the difference in
-the world. Your sorrow is in everything, in all you
-see, in all you hear, in every familiar impression of
-your life—even in me and the sight of me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are mistaken. It is here.” She pressed her
-hand to her breast with a gesture almost fierce, and
-fixed her deep brown eyes on George’s face for an
-instant. Then she let her arm fall beside her and looked
-away. “The worst of it is that I am so strong,” she
-added presently. “I shall never break down. I shall
-live to be an old woman.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” George answered, thoughtfully, “I believe
-that you will. I can understand that. I fancy that
-you and I are somewhat alike. There are people who
-are unhappy, and who fade away and go out like a lamp
-without oil. They are said to die of broken hearts
-though they have not felt half as much happiness or
-sorrow as some tougher man and woman who live through
-a lifetime of despair and disappointment.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are you very happy?” Grace asked rather suddenly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes, I am very happy. I suppose I have reason to
-be. Everything has gone well with me of late. I have
-had plenty of success with what I have done, I am
-engaged to be married——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is what I mean,” said Grace, interrupting him.
-“Are you happy in that? I suppose I have no right to
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_362'>362</span>ask such a question, but I cannot help asking it. You
-ought to be, for you two are very well matched. Do
-you know? It is a very fortunate thing that Constance
-refused you. You did not really love her any more than
-she loved you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What makes you say that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you were really in love, your love died a rather
-easy death. That is all.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That is true,” George answered, smiling in spite of
-himself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you remember the first of May as well as you
-did three months ago? Perhaps. I do not say that you
-have forgotten it altogether. When I told you her decision,
-you did not act like a man who has received a
-terrible blow. You were furiously, outrageously angry.
-You wished that I had been a man, that you might have
-struck me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I believed that I had cause to be angry. Besides, I
-have extraordinary natural gifts in that direction.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of course you had cause. But if you had loved her—as
-some people love—you would have forgotten to be
-angry for once in your life and you would have behaved
-very differently.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I daresay you are right. As I came here to-day I
-was thinking over it all. You know I have not been
-here since that day. In old times I could feel my heart
-beating faster as I came near the house, and when I rang
-the bell my hand used to tremble. To-day I walked
-here as coolly as though I had been going home, and
-when I was at the door I was much more concerned to
-know whether you were better than to know whether
-your sister was in the house or not. Such is the unstability
-of the human heart.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes—when there is no real love in it,” Grace
-answered. “And the strongest proof that there was
-none in yours is that you are willing to own it. What
-made you think that you were so fond of her? How
-came you to make such a mistake?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_363'>363</span>“I cannot tell. I would not talk to any one else as I
-am talking to you. But we understand each other, she
-is your sister and you never believed in our marriage.
-It began very gradually. Any man would fall in love
-with her, if he had the chance. She was interested in
-me. She was kind to me, when I got little kindness
-from any one——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And none at all from me, poor man!” interrupted
-Grace.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Especially none from you. It was she who always
-urged me to write a book, though I did not believe I
-could; it was to her that I read my first novel from
-beginning to end. It was she who seized upon it and
-got it published in spite of my protests—it was she who
-launched me and made my first success what it was. I
-owe her very much more than I could ever hope to
-repay, if I possessed any means of showing my gratitude.
-I loved her for her kindness and she liked me for my
-devotion—perhaps for my submission, for I was very
-submissive in those days. I had not learned to run
-alone, and if she would have had me I would have
-walked in her leading-strings to the end of my life.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How touching!” exclaimed Grace, and the first genuine
-laughter of which she had been capable for three
-months followed the words.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, do not laugh,” said George gravely. “I owe
-her everything and I know it. Most of all, I owe her
-the most loyal friendship and sincere gratitude that a
-man can feel for any woman he does not love. It is all
-over now. I never felt any emotion at meeting her
-since we parted after that abominable dinner-party, and
-I shall never feel any again. I am sure of that.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sorry I laughed. I could not help it. But I
-am very glad that things have ended in this way, though,
-as I told you when I last saw you, I wish she would
-marry. She has grown to be the most listless, unhappy
-creature in the world.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What can be the matter?” George asked. “Is it
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_364'>364</span>not the life you are leading together? You are so
-lonely.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I came back on her account,” Grace answered wearily.
-“For my own sake I would never have left that
-dear place again. I have told her that I will do anything
-she pleases, go anywhere, live in any other way.
-It can make no difference to me. But she will not hear
-of leaving New York. I cannot mention it to her. She
-grows thinner every day.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is very strange. I am very sorry to hear it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>They talked together for some time longer and then
-George went away, inwardly wondering at his own conduct
-in having spoken of Constance so freely to her
-sister. It was not unnatural, however. Grace treated
-him as an old friend, and circumstances had suddenly
-brought the two into relations of close intimacy. As she
-had been chosen by Constance to convey the latter’s
-refusal, it might well be supposed that she was in her
-sister’s confidence, and George had said nothing which
-he was not willing that Grace should repeat. He had
-not been gone more than half an hour when Constance
-entered the room, looking pale and tired.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have been everywhere to find a wedding present
-for the future Mrs. Wood,” she said, as she let herself
-sink down upon the sofa. “I can find nothing, positively
-nothing that will do.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He has just been here,” said Grace indifferently.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance changed colour and glanced quickly at her
-sister. She looked as though she had checked herself
-in the act of saying something which she might have
-regretted.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What did you talk about?” she asked quietly, after
-a moment’s pause. “I wish I had been here. I have
-not seen him since he came to announce his engagement.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. He was sorry to miss you, too. He was not
-particularly agreeable—considering how well he can
-talk when he tries. I am very fond of him now. I am
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_365'>365</span>sorry I misjudged him formerly, and I told him so
-before he came to town.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have discovered that you misjudged him, then,”
-said Constance, as calmly as she could.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” Grace answered with perfect unconcern. “I
-am always glad to see him. By-the-bye, we talked
-about you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“About me?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. What is the matter? Is there any reason why
-we should not talk about you?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, none whatever—except that he loved me once.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He said nothing but what was perfectly fair and
-friendly. I asked him if he was happy in the prospect
-of being married so soon, and then very naturally we
-spoke of you. He said that he owed you the most loyal
-friendship and sincere gratitude, that you had launched
-him in his career by sending his first novel to the publisher
-without his consent, that without you, he would
-not have been what he is—he said it seemed natural,
-on looking back, that he should have loved you, or
-thought that he loved you——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Thought that he loved me?” Constance repeated in
-a low voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. Considering how quickly he has recovered,
-his love can hardly have been much more sincere than
-yours. What is the matter, Conny dear? Are you ill?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Constance had hidden her face in the cushions and
-was sobbing bitterly, in the very place she had occupied
-when she had finally refused George Wood, and almost
-in the same attitude.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh Grace!” she moaned. “You will break my heart!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you love him, now?” Grace asked in a voice that
-was suddenly hard. She had not had the least suspicion
-of the real state of the case. Constance nodded
-in answer, still sobbing and covering her face. Grace
-turned away in disgust.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What contemptible creatures we women can be!”
-she said in an undertone, as she crossed the room.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <span class='pageno' id='Page_366'>366</span>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVI.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>George was in the habit of going to see Mamie every
-afternoon, and the hours he spent with her were by far
-the most pleasant in his day. Mrs. Trimm had thoroughly
-understood her daughter’s nature when she had
-told George that the girl possessed that sort of charm
-which never wearies men because they can never find
-out exactly where it lies. It was not easy to imagine
-that any one should be bored in Mamie’s society. George
-returned day after day, expecting always that he must
-ultimately find the continual conversation a burden, but
-reassured each time by what he felt after he had been
-twenty minutes in the house. As he was not profoundly
-moved himself it seemed unnatural that these long meetings
-should not at last become an irksome and uninteresting
-duty, the conscientious performance of which
-would react to the disadvantage of his subsequent happiness.
-The spontaneity which had given so much
-freshness to their intercourse while they were living
-under the same roof, was gone now that George found
-himself compelled to live by rules of consideration for
-others, and he was aware of the fact each time he entered
-Mamie’s presence. Nevertheless her manner and voice
-exercised such a fascination over him as made him forget
-after a quarter of an hour that he and she were no
-longer in the country, and that he was no longer free to
-see her or not see her, as he pleased, independently of all
-formality and custom. Nothing could have demonstrated
-Mamie’s superiority over most young women of
-her age more clearly than this fact. The situation of
-affianced couples after their engagement is announced is
-very generally hard to sustain with dignity on either
-side, but is more especially a difficult one for the man.
-It is undoubtedly rendered more easy by the enjoyment
-of the liberty granted among Anglo-Saxons in such
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_367'>367</span>cases. But that freedom is after all only a part of our
-whole system of ideas, and as we all expect it from the
-first, we do not realise that our position is any more
-fortunate than that of the young French gentleman, who
-is frequently not allowed to exchange a single word with
-his bride until he has been formally affianced to her,
-and who may not talk to her without the presence of a
-third person until she is actually his wife. Under our
-existing customs a young girl must be charming indeed
-if her future husband can talk with her three hours
-every day during six weeks or two months and go away
-each time feeling that his visit has been too short.
-Neither animated conversation nor frequent correspondence
-have any right to be considered as tests of love.
-Love is not to be measured by the fluent use of words,
-nor by an easy acquaintance with agreeable topics, nor
-yet by lavish expenditure in postage-stamps. George
-knew all this, and was moreover aware in his heart that
-there was nothing desperately passionate in his affection;
-he was the more surprised, therefore, to find that
-the more he saw of Mamie Trimm, the more he wished
-to see of her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you think,” he said to her, on that same afternoon
-in November, “that all engaged couples enjoy their
-engagement as much as we do?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sure they do not,” Mamie answered. “Nobody
-is half as nice as we are!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>They were seated in a small boudoir that adjoined the
-drawing-room. The wide door was open and they could
-hear the pleasant crackling of the first wood fire that
-was burning in the larger room, though they could not
-see it. The air without was gloomy and grey, for the
-late Indian summer was over, and before long the first
-frosts would come and the first flakes of snow would be
-driven along the dry and windy streets. It was early
-in the afternoon, however, and though the light was cold
-and colourless and hard, there was plenty of it. Mamie
-was established in a short but very deep sofa, something
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_368'>368</span>resembling a divan, one small foot just touching the
-carpet, the other hidden from view, her head thrown
-back and resting against the tapestry upon the wall, one
-arm resting upon the end of the lounge, the little classic
-hand hanging over the edge, so near to George that he
-had but to put out his own in order to touch it. He was
-seated with his back to the door of the drawing-room,
-clasping his hands over one knee and leaning forward as
-he gazed at the window opposite. He smiled at Mamie’s
-answer.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, I am sure other people do not enjoy sitting
-together and talking during half the day, as we do,” he
-said. “I have often thought so. It is you who make
-our life what it is. It will always be you, with your
-dear ways——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He stopped, seeking an expression which he could not
-find immediately.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have I dear ways?” Mamie asked with a little
-laugh. “I never knew it before—but since you say
-so——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is only those who love us that know the best of
-us. We never know it ourselves.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you love me, George?” The question was put
-to him for the thousandth time. To her it seemed
-always new and the answer was always full of interest,
-as though it had never been given before.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very dearly.” George laid his hand upon her slender
-fingers and pressed them softly. He had abandoned
-the attempt to give her an original reply at each repetition
-of the inquiry.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Is that all?” she asked, pretending to be disappointed,
-but smiling with her grey eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can a man say more and mean it?” George inquired
-gravely. Then he laughed. “The other day,” he continued,
-“I was in a train on the Elevated Road. There
-was a young couple opposite to me—the woman was a
-little round fat creature with a perpetual smile, pretty
-teeth, and dressed in grey. They were talking in low
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_369'>369</span>tones, but I heard what they said. Baby language was
-evidently their strong point. He turned his head towards
-her with the most languishing lover-like look I ever saw.
-‘Plumpety itty partidge, who does ‘oo love?’ he asked.
-‘Zoo!’ answered the little woman with a smile that went
-all round her head like the equator on a globe.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie laughed as he finished the story.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That represented their idea of conversation, what you
-call ‘dear ways.’ My dear ways are not much like that
-and yours are quite different. When I ask you if you
-love me, you almost always give the same answer. But
-then, I know you mean it dear, do you not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There it is again!” George laughed. “Of course I
-do—only, as you say, my imagination is limited. I
-cannot find new ways of saying it. But then, you do
-not vary the question either, so that it is no wonder if
-my answers are a little monotonous, is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Are my questions monotonous? Do I bore you with
-them, George?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, dear. I should be very hard to please if you bored
-me. It is your charm that makes our life what it is.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wish I believed that. What is charm? What do
-you mean by it? It is not an intellectual gift, it is not
-a quality, a talent, nor accomplishment. I believe you
-tell me that I have it because you do not know what else
-to say. It is so easy to say to a woman ‘You are full of
-charm,’ when she is ugly and stupid and cannot play on
-the piano, and you feel obliged to be civil. I am sure
-that there is no such thing as charm. It is only an imaginary
-compliment. Why not tell me the truth?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are neither ugly nor stupid, and I am sincerely
-glad that you leave the piano alone,” said George. “I
-could find any number of compliments to make, if that
-were my way. But it is not, of course. You have lots
-of good points, Mamie. Look at yourself in the glass if
-you do not believe it. Look at your figure, look at your
-eyes, at your complexion, at your hands—listen to your
-own voice——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_370'>370</span>“Do not talk nonsense, George. Besides, that is only
-a catalogue. If you want to please me you must compare
-all those things to beautiful objects. You must say
-that my eyes are like—gooseberries, for instance, my
-figure like—what shall I say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Like Psyche’s,” suggested George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Or like an hour-glass, and my hands like stuffed
-gloves, and my skin like a corn starch pudding, and my
-voice like the voice of the charmer. That is the way to
-be complimentary. Poetry must make use of similes and
-call a spade an ace—as papa says. When you have
-done all that, and turned your catalogue into blank
-verse, tell me if there is anything left which you can
-call charm.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Charm,” George answered, “is what every man who
-loves a woman thinks she has—and if she has it all men
-love her. You have it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Dear me!” exclaimed the young girl. “Can you
-get no nearer to a definition than that?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Can you define anything which you only feel and
-cannot see—heat for instance, or cold?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Heat makes one hot, and cold makes one shiver,”
-answered Mamie promptly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And charm makes a woman loved. That is as good
-an answer as yours.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I suppose I must be satisfied, especially as you say
-that it can only be felt and not seen. Besides, if it
-makes you love me, why should I care what it is called?
-Do you know what it really is? It is love itself. It is
-because I love you so much, so intensely, that I make
-you love me. There is no such thing as charm. Charm
-is either a woman’s love, or her readiness to love—one
-or the other.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie laughed softly and moved the hand that was
-hanging over the end of the sofa, as though seeking the
-touch of George’s fingers. He obeyed the little signal
-quite unconsciously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Who can that be?” Mamie asked, after a moment’s
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_371'>371</span>pause. She thought that she had heard a door open and
-that some one had entered the drawing-room. George
-listened a few seconds.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Nobody,” he said. “It was only the fire.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>While the two had been talking, some one had really
-entered the large adjoining room as Mamie had suspected.
-Thomas Craik was not in the habit of making
-visits in the afternoon, but on this particular day he had
-found the process of being driven about in a closed
-brougham more wearisome than usual, and it had struck
-him that he might find Totty at home and amuse himself
-with teasing her in some way or other. Totty was expected
-every moment, the servant had said, and the discreet
-attendant had added that Mr. George and Miss
-Mamie were in the boudoir together. Mr. Craik said that
-he would wait in the drawing-room, to which he was accordingly
-admitted. He knew the arrangement of the
-apartment and took care not to disturb the peace of the
-young couple by making any noise. It would be extremely
-entertaining, he thought, to place himself so as
-to hear something of what they said to each other; he
-therefore stepped softly upon the thick carpet and took
-up what he believed to be a favourable position. His
-hearing was still as sharp as ever, and he did not go too
-near the door of the inner room lest Totty, entering suddenly,
-should suppose that he had been listening.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“So you think that I only love you because you love
-me,” said George. “You are not very complimentary
-to yourself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I did not say that, though that was the beginning.
-You would never have begun to love me—George, I am
-sure there is some one in the next room!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is impossible. Your mother would have come
-directly to us, and the servants would not have let any
-caller go in while she was out. Shall I look?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—you are quite right,” Mamie answered. “It
-is only the crackling of the fire.” She was holding his
-hand and did not care to let it drop in order that he
-might satisfy her curiosity. “What was I saying?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_372'>372</span>“Something very foolish—about my not loving you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thomas Craik listened for a while to their conversation,
-eagerly at first and then with an expression of
-weariness on his parchment face. He had been afraid
-to sit down, for fear of making a noise, and he found
-himself standing before a table, on which, among many
-other objects was placed the small Indian cabinet he had
-once given to his sister. Many years had passed since
-he had sent it to her, but his keen memory for details
-had not forgotten the secret drawer it contained, nor the
-way to open it. He looked at it for some time curiously,
-wondering whether Totty kept anything of value in it.
-Then it struck him that if she really kept anything concealed
-there, it would be an excellent practical joke to
-take out the object, whatever it might be, and carry it
-off. The idea was in accordance with that part of his
-character which loved secret and underhand dealings.
-The scene which would ensue when he ultimately brought
-the thing back would answer the other half of his nature
-which delighted in inflicting brutal and gratuitous surprises
-upon people he did not like. He laid his thin
-hands gently on the cabinet and proceeded to open it as
-noiselessly as he could.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie’s sharp ears were not deceived this time, however.
-She bent forward and whispered to George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There is somebody there. Go on tiptoe and look
-from behind the curtain. Do not let them see you, or
-we shall have to go in, and that would be such a bore.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George obeyed in silence, stood a moment peering into
-the next room, concealed by the hangings and then
-returned to Mamie’s side. “It is your Uncle Tom,” he
-whispered with a smile. “He is in some mischief, I am
-sure, for he is opening that Indian cabinet as though he
-did not want to be heard.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I will tell mamma, when she comes in—what fun
-it will be!” Mamie answered. “He must have heard
-us before, so that we must go on talking—about the
-weather.” Then raising her voice she began to speak
-of their future plans.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_373'>373</span>Meanwhile Mr. Craik had slipped back the part of the
-cover which concealed the secret drawer, and had opened
-the latter. There was nothing in it but the document
-which Totty kept there. He quickly took it out and
-closed the cabinet again. Something in the appearance
-of the paper attracted his attention, and instead of putting
-it into his pocket to read at home and at his leisure,
-as he had intended to do, he unfolded it and glanced at
-the contents.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He had always been a man able to control his anger,
-unless there was something to be gained by manifesting
-it, but his rage was now far too genuine to be concealed.
-The veins swelled and became visible beneath the tightly
-drawn skin of his forehead, his mouth worked spasmodically
-and his hands trembled with fury as he held the
-sheet before his eyes, satisfying himself that it was the
-genuine document and not a forgery containing provisions
-different from those he had made in his own will.
-As soon as he felt no further doubt about the matter, he
-gave vent to his wrath, in a storm of curses, stamping
-up and down the room, and swinging his long arms as
-he moved, still holding the paper in one hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mamie turned pale and grasped George by the arm.
-He would have risen to go into the next room, but she
-held him back with all her strength.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No—stay here!” she said in a low voice. “You
-can do no good. He knew we were here—something
-must have happened! Oh, George, what is it?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If you will let me go and see——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But at that moment, it became evident to both that
-Tom Craik was no longer alone. Totty had entered the
-drawing-room. As the servant had said, she had been
-expected every moment. Her brother turned upon her
-furiously, brandishing the will and cursing louder than
-before. In his extreme anger he was able to lift up his
-head and look her in the eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You damned infernal witch!” he shouted. “You
-abominable woman! You thief! You swindler! You——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_374'>374</span>“Help! help!” screamed Totty. “He is mad—he
-means to kill me!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not mad, you wretch!” yelled Tom Craik, pursuing
-her and catching her with one hand while he
-shook the will in her face with the other. “Look at
-that—look at it! My will, here in your keeping, without
-so much as a piece of paper or a seal to hold it—you
-thief! You have broken into your husband’s office, you
-burglar! You have broken open my deed-box—look
-at it! Do you recognise it? Stand still and answer me,
-or I will hold you till the police can be got. Do you
-see? The last will and testament of me Thomas Craik,
-and not a cent for Charlotte Trimm. Not one cent, and
-not one shall you get either. He shall have it all,
-George Winton Wood, shall have it all. Ah—I see
-the reason why you have kept it now—If I had found
-it gone, you know I would have made it over again!
-Cheaper, and wiser, and more like you to get him for your
-daughter—of course it was, you lying, shameless beast!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is the meaning of this?” George asked in
-ringing tones. He had broken away from Mamie with
-difficulty and she had followed him into the room, and
-now stood clinging to her mother. George pushed Tom
-Craik back a little and placed himself between him and
-Totty, who was livid with terror and seemed unable to
-speak a word. The sudden appearance of George’s tall,
-angular figure, and the look of resolution in his dark
-face brought Tom Craik to his senses.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You want to know the meaning of it,” he said.
-“Quite right. You shall. When I was dying—nearly
-three years ago, I made a will in your favour. I left
-you everything I have in the world. Why? Because I
-pleased. This woman thought she was to have my
-money. Oh, you might have had it, if you had been
-less infernally greedy,” he cried, turning to Totty.
-“This will was deposited in my deed-box at Sherry
-Trimm’s office. Saw it there, on the top of the papers
-with my own eyes the last time I went; and Sherry was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_375'>375</span>in Europe then. So you took it, and no one else. Poor
-Bond did not, though as he is dead, you will say he did.
-It will not help you. So you laid your trap—oh yes!
-I know those tricks of yours. You broke off George
-Wood’s marriage with the girl he loved, and you laid
-your trap—very nicely done—very. You gave him
-Sherry’s wines, and Sherry’s cigars to make him come.
-I know all about it. I was watching you. And you
-made him come and spend the summer up the river—so
-nice, and luxurious, and quiet for a poor young author.
-And you told nobody he was there—not you! I can see
-it all now, the moonlight walks, and the rides and the
-boating, and Totty indoors with a headache, or writing
-letters. It was easy to get Sherry’s consent when it was
-all arranged, was it not? Devilish easy. Sherry is an
-honest man—I know men—but he knew on which side
-his daughter’s bread was buttered, for he had drawn up
-the will himself. He did not mind if George Winton
-Wood, the poor author, fell in love with his daughter,
-any more than his magnanimous wife was disturbed by
-the prospect. Not a bit. The starving author was to
-have millions—millions, woman! as soon as the old
-brother was nailed up and trundled off to Greenwood!
-And he shall have them, too. It only remains to be
-seen whether he will have your daughter.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Craik paused for breath, though his invalid form was
-as invigorated by his extreme anger as to make it appear
-that he might go on indefinitely in the same strain. As
-for George he was at first too much amazed by the story
-to believe his ears. He thought Craik was mad, and
-yet the presence of the will which the old man repeatedly
-thrust before his eyes and in which he could not help
-seeing his own name written in the lawyer’s large clear
-hand, told him that there was a broad foundation of
-truth in the tale.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Defend yourself, Totty,” he said as quietly as he
-could. “Tell him that this story is absurd. I think
-Mr. Craik is not well——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_376'>376</span>“Not well, young man?” Craik asked, looking up at
-him with a bitter laugh. “I am as well as you. Here
-is my will. There is the cabinet. And there is Charlotte
-Sherrington Trimm. Send for her husband. Ask
-him if it is not a good case for a jury. You may be in
-love with the girl, and she may be in love with you, for
-all I know. But you have been made to fall in love
-with each other by that scheming old woman, there.
-The only way she could get the money into the family
-was through you. She is lawyer enough to know that
-there may be a duplicate somewhere, and that I should
-make one fast enough if there were not. Besides, to burn
-a will means the State’s Prison, and she wants to avoid
-that place, if she can.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The possibility and the probability that the whole
-story might be true, flashed suddenly upon George’s
-mind, and he turned very pale. The recollection of
-Totty’s amazing desire to please him was still fresh in
-his mind, and he remembered how very unexpected it
-had all seemed, the standing invitation to the house, the
-extreme anxiety to draw him to the country, the reckless
-way in which Totty had left him alone with her daughter,
-Totty’s manner on that night when she had persuaded
-him to offer himself to Mamie—the result, and the
-cable message she had shown him, ready prepared, and
-taking for granted her husband’s consent. By this
-time Totty had sunk into a chair and was sobbing helplessly,
-covering her face with her hands and handkerchief.
-George walked up to her, while old Tom Craik
-kept at his elbow, as though fearing that he might
-prove too easily forgiving.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“How long have you known the contents of that will?”
-George asked steadily, and still trying to speak kindly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Since—the end—of April,” Totty sobbed. She
-felt it impossible to lie, for her brother’s eyes were fixed
-on her face and she was frightened.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You did, did you? Well, well, that ought to settle
-it,” said Craik, breaking into a savage laugh. “I fancy
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_377'>377</span>it must have been about that time that she began to like
-you so much,” he added looking at George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“About the first of May,” George answered coldly.
-“I remember that on that day I met you in the street
-and you begged me to go and see Mamie, who was alone.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I like men who remember dates,” chuckled the old
-man at his elbow.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have been very much deceived,” said George. “I
-believed it was for myself. It was for money. I have
-nothing more to say.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have not asked me whether I knew anything,”
-said Mamie, coming before him. Her alabaster skin
-was deadly white and her grey eyes were on fire.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Your mother knows you too well to have told you,”
-George answered very kindly. “I have promised to
-marry you. I do not suspect you, but I would not
-break my word to you, even if I thought that you had
-known.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It is for me to break my word,” answered the young
-girl proudly. “No power on earth shall make me marry
-you, now.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Her lips were tightly pressed to her teeth as she
-spoke and she held her head high, though her eyes rested
-lovingly on his face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why will you not marry me, Mamie?” George
-asked. He knew now that he had never loved her.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have had shame already,” she answered. “Shame
-in being thrust upon you, shame in having thrust myself
-upon you—though not for your money. You never
-knew. You asked me once how I knew your moods,
-and when you wanted me and when you would choose to
-be alone. Ask her, ask my mother. She is wiser than
-I. She could tell from your face, long before I could,
-what you wished—and we had signals and signs and
-passwords, she and I, so that she could help me with
-her advice, and teach me how to make myself wanted
-by the man I loved. Am I not contemptible? And
-when I told you that I loved you—and then made you
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_378'>378</span>believe that I was only acting, because there was no
-response—shame? I have lived with it, fed on it,
-dreamed of it, and to-day is the crown of all—my
-crown of shame. Marry you? I would rather die!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Whatever others may have done, you have always
-been brave and true, Mamie,” said George. “It may
-be better that we should not marry, but there has been
-no shame for you in this matter.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am not so sure,” said Tom Craik with a chuckle
-and an ugly smile. “She is cleverer than she looks——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George turned upon the old man with the utmost
-violence.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Sir!” he cried savagely. “If you say that again I
-will break your miserable old bones, if I hang for it!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Like that fellow,” muttered Craik with a more
-pleasant expression than he had yet worn. “Like him
-more and more.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I do not want to be liked by you, and you know
-why,” George answered, for he had caught the words.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Oh, you don’t, don’t you? Well, well. Never
-mind.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No I do not. And what is more, I will tell you
-something, Mr. Craik. When you were ill and I called
-to inquire, I came because I hoped to learn that you
-were dead. That may explain what I feel for you. I
-have not had a favourable opportunity of explaining the
-matter before, or I would have done so.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Good again!” replied the old gentleman. “Like
-frankness in young people. Eh, Totty? Eh, Mamie?
-Very frank young man, this, eh?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Furthermore, Mr. Craik,” continued George, not
-heeding him, “I will tell you that I will not lift a finger
-to have your money. I do not want it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Exactly. Never enjoyed such sport in my life as
-trying to force money on a poor man who won’t take it.
-Good that, what? Eh, Totty? Don’t you think this is
-fun? Poor old Totty—all broken up! Bear these little
-things better myself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_379'>379</span>Totty was in a fit of hysterics and neither heard nor
-heeded, as she lay in the deep chair, sobbing, moaning
-and laughing all at once. George eyed her contemptuously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Either let us go,” he said to Craik, “and, if you
-have exhausted your wit, that would be the best thing;
-or else let Mrs. Trimm be taken away. I shall not
-leave you here to torment these ladies.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Seat in my carriage? Come along!” answered Mr.
-Craik with alacrity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George led Mamie back into the little room beyond.
-As they went, he could hear the old man beginning to
-rail at his sister again, but he paid no attention. He
-felt that he could not leave Mamie without another word.
-The young girl followed him in silence. They stood
-together near the window, as far out of hearing as possible.
-George hesitated.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What is it, George?” asked Mamie. “Do you want
-to say good-bye to me?” She spoke with evident effort.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I want to say this, dear. If you and I can help it,
-not a word of what has happened to-day must ever be
-known. I have been deceived, most shamefully, but
-not by you. You have been honest and true from first
-to last. The best way to keep this secret, is for us two
-to marry as though nothing had happened. Nobody
-would believe it then. I am afraid that Mr. Craik will
-tell some one, because he is so angry.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have told you my decision,” Mamie answered
-firmly, though her lips were white. “I have nothing
-more to say.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Think well of what you are doing. One should not
-come to such decisions when one is angry. Here I am,
-Mamie. Take me if you will, and forget that all those
-things have been said and done.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>For one moment, Mamie hesitated.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you love me?” she asked, trying to read his
-heart in his eyes.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But the poor passion that had taken the place of love
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_380'>380</span>was gone. The knowledge that he had been played with
-and gambled for, though not by the girl herself, had
-given him a rude shock.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes,” he answered, bravely trying to feel that he
-was speaking the truth. But there was no life in the
-word.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No, dear,” said Mamie simply. “You never loved
-me. I see it now.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He would have made some sort of protest. But she
-drew back from him, and from his outstretched hand.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Will you let me be alone?” she asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He bowed his head and left the room.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>When George had seen old Tom Craik enter his carriage
-and drive away from the house, he breathed more
-freely. He could not think very connectedly of what
-had happened, but it seemed to him that the old man
-had played a part quite as contemptible as that which
-Totty herself had sustained so long. He would assuredly
-not have believed that the terrific anger of which he had
-witnessed the explosion was chiefly due to the discovery
-of what was intended to be a good action. Craik had
-never liked to be found out, and it was especially galling
-to him to be exposed in the act of endeavouring to
-make amends for the past. But for this consideration,
-he would have been quite capable of returning the will
-to its place in the cabinet, and of leaving the house
-quietly. He would have merely sent for a lawyer and
-repeated the document with a new date, to deposit it in
-some place to which his sister could not possibly gain
-access. But his anger had been aroused in the first
-moment by the certainty that Totty had understood his
-motives and must secretly despise him for making such
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_381'>381</span>a restitution of ill-gotten gain. George could not have
-comprehended this, and he feared that the old man
-should do some irreparable harm if he were left any
-longer with the object of his wrath. The look in Craik’s
-eyes had not been reassuring, and it was by no means
-sure that the whole affair had not finally unsettled his
-intellect.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was little ground for any such fear, however,
-as George would have realised if he could have followed
-Mr. Craik to his home, and seen how soon he repented
-of having endangered his health by giving way to his
-wrath. An hour later he was in bed and his favourite
-doctor was at his side, watching every pulsation of his
-heart and prepared to do battle at the first attack of any
-malady which should present itself.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George himself was far less moved by what had
-occurred than he would have believed possible. His
-first and chief sensation was a sickening disgust with
-Totty and with all that recent portion of his life in
-which she had played so great a part. He had been
-deceived and played with on all sides and his vanity
-revolted at the thought of what might have been if
-Craik’s discovery had not broken through the veil of
-Totty’s duplicity. It made him sick to feel that while
-he had fancied himself courted and honoured and chosen
-as a son-in-law for his own sake and for the sake of what
-he had done in the face of such odds, he had really been
-looked upon as an object of speculation, as a thing worth
-buying at a cheap price for the sake of its future value.
-Beyond this, he felt nothing but a sense of relief at
-having been released from his engagement. He had
-done his best to act honestly, but he had often feared
-that he was deceiving himself and others in the effort to
-do what seemed honourable. He did not deny, even
-now, that what he had felt for Mamie might in good
-time have developed into a real love, but he saw clearly
-at last that while his senses had been charmed and his
-intelligence soothed, his heart had never been touched.
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_382'>382</span>Doubts about Mamie herself would present themselves,
-though he drove them resolutely away. It was natural
-that he should find it hard to realise in her that which
-he had never felt during their long intercourse, and
-while his instinct told him that the young girl had been
-innocent of all her mother’s plotting and scheming, he
-said to himself that she would easily recover from her
-disappointment. If he was troubled by any regret it
-was rather that he should not have left her mother’s
-house as soon as he had seen that she was interested,
-than that he should have failed to love her as he had
-tried to do. On the other hand he admitted that his
-conduct had been excusable, considering the pressure
-which Totty had brought to bear upon him.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The most unpleasant point in the future was the
-explanation which must inevitably take place between
-himself and Sherrington Trimm. It would be hard to
-imagine a meeting more disagreeable to both parties as
-this one was sure to be. There could be no question
-about Trimm’s innocence in the whole affair, for his
-character was too well known to the world to admit the
-least suspicion. But it would be a painful matter to
-meet him and talk over what had happened. If possible,
-the interview must be avoided, and George determined
-to attempt this solution by writing a letter setting
-forth his position with the utmost clearness. He turned
-up the steps of a club to which he belonged and sat
-down to the task.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>What he said may be summed up in a few words. He
-took it for granted that Trimm would be acquainted with
-what had occurred, by the time the letter reached him.
-It only remained for him to repeat what he had said to
-Mamie herself, to wit, that if she would marry him, he
-was ready to fulfil his engagement. He concluded by
-saying that he would wait a month for the definite
-answer, after which time he intended to go abroad. He
-sealed the note and took it with him, intending to send
-it to Trimm’s house in the evening. As luck would
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_383'>383</span>have it, however, he met Trimm himself in the hall of
-the club. He had stopped on his way up town to refresh
-himself with a certain mild drink of his own devising.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Hilloa, George!” he cried in his cheery voice.
-“What is the matter?” he asked anxiously as he saw
-the expression on the other’s face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Have you been at home yet?” George asked.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“No.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Something very disagreeable has happened. I have
-just written you a note. Will you take it with you and
-read it after you have heard what they have to say?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Confound it all!” exclaimed Sherry Trimm. “I am
-not fond of mystery. Come into a quiet room and tell
-me all about it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would rather that you found it out for yourself,”
-said George, drawing back.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Sherry Trimm looked keenly at him, and then took
-him by the arm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Look here, George,” he said, “no nonsense! I do not
-know what the trouble is, but I see it is serious. Let
-us have it out, right here.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very well,” George answered. “Your wife has
-made trouble,” he said, as soon as they were closeted in
-one of the small rooms. “You drew up Mr. Craik’s
-will, and you kept his secret. When you had gone
-abroad, your wife got the will out of the deed-box in
-your office and took it home with her. She kept it in
-that Indian cabinet and Mr. Craik found it there this
-afternoon, and made a fearful scene. Unfortunately
-your wife could not find any answer to what he said,
-and thereupon Mamie declared that she would not marry
-me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Sherrington Trimm’s pink face had grown slowly livid
-while George was speaking.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What did Tom say?” he asked quietly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He hinted that his sister had not been wholly disinterested
-in her kindness to me,” said George. “Unfortunately
-Mamie and I were present. I did the best I
-could, but the mischief was done.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_384'>384</span>Sherrington said nothing more, but began to walk up
-and down the small room nervously, pulling at his short
-grizzled moustache from time to time. Like every one
-else who had been concerned in the affair, he grasped
-the whole situation in a moment.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“This is a miserable business,” he said at last in a
-tone that expressed profound humiliation and utter
-disgust.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George did not answer, for he was quite of the same
-opinion. He stood leaning against a card-table, drumming
-with his fingers on the green cloth behind him.
-Sherry Trimm paused in his walk, and struck his
-clenched fist upon the palm of his other hand. Then he
-shook his head and began to pace the floor again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“An abominable business,” he muttered. “I cannot
-see that there is anything to be done, but to beg your
-pardon for it all,” he said, suddenly turning to George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You need not do that,” George answered readily.
-“It is not your fault, Cousin Sherry. All I want to
-say, is what I had already written to you. If Mamie
-will change her mind and marry me, I am ready.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Trimm looked at him sharply.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are a good fellow, George,” he said. “But I
-don’t think I could stand that. You never loved her as
-you ought to love to be happy. I saw that long ago and
-I guessed that there had been something wrong. You
-have been tricked into the whole thing—and—just go
-away and leave me here, will you? I cannot stand this.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George took the outstretched hand and shook it warmly.
-Then he left the room and closed the door behind him.
-In that moment he pitied Sherrington Trimm far more
-than he pitied Mamie herself. He could understand
-the man’s humiliation better than the girl’s broken
-heart. He went out of the club and turned homewards.
-He had yet to communicate the intelligence to his
-father, and he was oddly curious to see what the old
-gentleman would say. An hour later he had told the
-whole story with every detail he could remember, from
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_385'>385</span>the day when Totty had told him to go and see Mamie
-to his recent interview with Sherry Trimm.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sorry for you, George,” said Jonah Wood. “I
-am very sorry for you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I think, on the whole, that is more than I can say
-for myself,” George answered. “I am far more sorry
-for Mamie and her father. It is a relief to me. I would
-not have believed it, this morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you mean that you were not in love?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Yes. I am just as fond of her as ever. There is
-nothing I would not do for her. But I do not want to
-marry her and I never did, till that old cat made me
-think it was my duty.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I should think you would have known what your
-duty was, without waiting to be told. I would have
-told her mother that I did not love the girl, and I would
-have gone the next morning.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are so sensible, father!” George exclaimed. “I
-looked at it differently. It seemed to me that if I had
-gone so far as to make Mamie believe that I loved her,
-I ought to be able to love her in earnest.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“When you are older, you will know better,” observed
-the old gentleman severely. “You have too much imagination.
-As for Mr. Craik, he will not leave you his
-money now. I doubt if he meant to.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George went and shut himself up in the little room
-which had witnessed so many of his struggles and
-disappointments. He sat down in his shabby old easy-chair
-and lit a short pipe and fell into a profound
-reverie. The unexpected had played a great part in his
-life, and as he reviewed the story of the past three
-years, he was surprised to find how very different his
-own existence had been from that of the average man.
-With the exception of his accident on the river and the
-scene he had witnessed to-day, nothing really startling
-had happened to him in that time, and yet his position
-at the present moment was as different from his position
-three years earlier as it possibly could be. In that time
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_386'>386</span>he had risen from total obscurity into the publicity of
-reputation, if not of celebrity. He was not fond of
-disturbing the mass of papers that encumbered his table,
-and there, deep down under the rest were still to be
-found rough drafts of his last poor little reviews. Hanging
-from one corner there was visible the corrected
-“revise” of one of his earliest accepted articles. At
-the other end, beneath a piece of old iron which he used
-as a paper-weight, lay the manuscript of his first novel,
-well thumbed and soiled, and marked at intervals in
-pencil with the names of the compositors who had set up
-the pages in type. There, upon the table, lay the
-accumulated refuse of three years of hard work, of the
-three years which had raised him into the public notice.
-Much of that work had been done under the influence of
-one woman, of one fair young girl who had bent over his
-shoulder as he read her page after page, and whose keen,
-fresh sight had often detected flaws and errors where he
-himself saw no imperfection. She had encouraged him,
-had pushed him, and urged him on, in spite of himself,
-until he had succeeded, beyond his wildest expectations.
-Then he had lost her, because he had thought that she
-was bound to marry him. He did not think so now, for
-he felt that in that case, too, he had been mistaken, as
-in the more recent one he had deceived himself. He had
-never been in love. He had never felt what he described
-in his own books. His blood had never raced through
-his veins for love, as it had often done for anger and
-sometimes for mere passing passion. Love had never
-taken him and mastered him and carried him away in its
-arms beyond all consideration for consequences. It was
-not because he was strong. He knew that whatever
-people might think of him, he had often been weak, and
-had longed to be made strong by a love he could not
-feel. He had been ready to yield himself to a belief in
-affections which had proved unreal and which had disappointed
-himself by their instability and by the ease
-with which he had recovered from them. Even in the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_387'>387</span>solitude of his own room he was ashamed to own to his
-inner consciousness how little he had been moved by
-all that had happened to him in those three years.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He thought of Johnson, the pale-faced hardworking
-man, whose heart was full of unsatisfied ambition and
-who had distanced his competitors by sheer energy and
-enthusiasm. He envied the man his belief in himself
-and his certainty of slow but sure success. Slow, indeed,
-it must be. Johnson had toiled for many years at his
-writing to attain the position he occupied, to be considered
-a good judge and a ready writer by the few who
-knew him, to gain a small but solid reputation in a small
-circle. He had worked much harder than George himself,
-and yet to-day, George Wood was known and read
-where William Johnson had never been heard of. Of
-the two Johnson was by far the better satisfied with his
-success, though of the two he possessed by very much
-the more ambition, in the ordinary acceptation of the
-word.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Then George thought of Thomas Craik, and of his
-sneer at ambitious men. He had said that there was no
-pleasure in possession, but only in getting, getting, getting,
-as long as a man had breath; that the wish to excel
-other men in anything was a drawback and a disadvantage,
-and that nothing in the world was worth having
-for its own sake, from money to fame, through all the
-catalogue of what is attainable by humanity. And yet,
-Thomas Craik was an instance of a very successful man,
-who had some right to speak on the subject. Whether
-he had got his money by fair means or foul had nothing
-to do with the argument. He had it, and he could speak
-from experience about the pleasures of possession.
-There must be some truth in what he said. George
-himself had attained before the age of thirty what many
-men labour in vain to reach throughout a lifetime. The
-case was similar. Whether he had deserved the reputation
-he had so suddenly acquired or not, mattered little.
-Many critics said that he had no claim to it. Many
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_388'>388</span>others said that he deserved more than he got. Whichever
-side was right, he had it, as Tom Craik had his
-money. Did it give him any satisfaction? None whatever,
-beyond the material advantages it brought him,
-and which only pleased him because they made him
-independent of his father’s help. When he thought of
-what he had done, he found no savour of pride in the
-reflection, nothing which really flattered his vanity,
-nothing to send a thrill of happiness through him. He
-was cold, indifferent to all he had done. It would not
-have entered his mind to take up one of his own books
-and glance over the pages. On the contrary, he felt a
-strong repulsion for what he had written, the moment it
-was finished. He admitted that he was foolish in this,
-as in many other things, and that he would in all likelihood
-improve his work by going over it and polishing
-it, even by entirely rewriting a great part of it. He
-was not deterred from doing so by indolence, for his
-rarely energetic temperament loved hard work and
-sought it. It was rather a profound dissatisfaction with
-all he did which prevented him from expending any
-further time upon each performance when he had once
-reached the last page. Nothing satisfied him, neither
-what he did himself, nor what he saw done by others.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thinking the matter over in his solitude the inevitable
-conclusion seemed to be that he was one of those discontented
-beings who can never be pleased with anything,
-nor lose themselves in an enthusiasm without picking
-to pieces the object that has made him enthusiastic. But
-this was not true either. There were plenty of great
-works in the world for which he had no criticism, and
-which never failed to excite his boundless admiration.
-He smiled to himself as he thought that what would
-really please him would be to be forced into the same
-attitude of respect before one of his own books, into
-which he naturally fell before the great masterpieces of
-literature. He would have been hard to satisfy, he
-thought, if that would not have satisfied him. Was
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_389'>389</span>that, then, the vision which he was really pursuing? It
-was folly to suppose that he would be so mad, and yet,
-at that time, he felt that he desired nothing else and
-nothing less than that, and since that was absolutely
-unattainable, he was condemned to perpetual discontent,
-to be borne with the best patience he could find. Beyond
-this, he could find no explanation of his feelings about
-his own work.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The only other source of happiness of which he could
-conceive was love, and this brought him back to his
-kindly and grateful memories of Constance Fearing, and
-to the more disturbing recollection of his cousin. The
-latter, also, had played a part and had occupied a share
-in his life. He had watched her more closely than he
-had ever watched any one, and had studied her with an
-unconsciously unswerving attention which proved how
-little he had loved her and how much she had interested
-him. He was, indeed, never well aware that he was
-subjecting any one to a microscopic intellectual scrutiny,
-for he possessed in a high degree the faculty of unintentional
-memory. While it cost him a severe effort to
-commit to memory a dozen verses of any poet, old or
-modern, he could nevertheless recall with faultless accuracy
-both sights and conversations which he had seen and
-heard, even after an interval of many years, provided
-that his interest had been somewhat excited at the time.
-The half-active, half-indolent, wholly luxurious life at
-his cousin’s house had in the end produced a strong
-impression upon him. It had been like an interval of
-lotus-eating upon an almost uninhabited island, varied
-only by such work as he chose to do at his own leisure
-and in his own way. During more than four months
-the struggles of the world had been hidden from him,
-and had temporarily ceased to play any part in his
-thoughts. The dreamy existence spent between flowers
-and woods and water, where every want had been anticipated
-almost before it was felt, served now as a background
-for the picture of the young girl who had been
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_390'>390</span>so constantly with him, herself as natural as her surroundings,
-the incarnation of life and of life’s charm, the
-negation of intellectual activity and of the sufferings of
-thought, a lovely creature who could only think, reason,
-enjoy and suffer with her heart, and whose mind could
-acquire but little, and was incapable of giving out. She
-had been the central figure and had contributed much to
-the general effect, so much, indeed, that under pressure
-of circumstances he had been willing to believe that he
-could love her enough to marry her. The scene had
-changed, the hallucination had vanished and the delusion
-was destroyed, but the memory of it all remained,
-and now disturbed his recollection of more recent events.
-There was a sensuous attraction in the pictures that
-presented themselves, from which he could not escape,
-but which he for some reason despised and tried to put
-away from him, by thinking again of Constance, of the
-cold purity of her face, of her over-studied conscientiousness
-and of her complete subjection to her sincere
-but mistaken self-criticism.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He wondered whether he should ever marry, and what
-manner of woman his wife would turn out to be. Of
-one thing he was sure. He would not now marry any
-woman unless he loved her with all his heart, and he
-would not ask her to marry him unless he were already
-sure of her love. The third must be the decisive case,
-from which he should never desire to withdraw and in
-which there should be no disappointment. He thought
-of Grace Fearing, and of her marriage and short-lived
-happiness with its terribly sudden ending and the
-immensity of sorrow that had followed its extinction.
-It almost seemed to him as though it would be worth
-while to suffer as she suffered if one could have what she
-had found; for the love must have been great and deep
-and sincere indeed, which could leave such scars where
-it had rested. To love a woman so well able to love
-would be happiness. She never doubted herself nor
-what she felt; all her thoughts were clear, simple and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_391'>391</span>strong; she did not analyse herself to know the measure
-of her own sincerity, nor was she a woman to be carried
-away by a thoughtless passion. She loved and she hated
-frankly, sincerely, without a side thought of doubt on
-the one hand nor of malice on the other. She was
-morally strong without putting on any affectation of
-strength, she was clear-sighted without making any
-pretence to exceptional intelligence, she was passionate
-without folly, and wise without annoyance, she was good,
-not sanctimonious, she was dignified without vanity. In
-short, as George thought of her, he saw that the woman
-who had openly disliked him and opposed him in former
-days, was of all the three the one for whom he felt the
-most sincere admiration. He remembered now that at
-his first meeting with the two sisters he had liked Grace
-better than Constance, and would then have chosen her
-as the object of his attentions had she been free and
-had he foreseen that friendship was to follow upon
-intimacy and love on friendship. Unfortunately for
-George Wood, and for all who find themselves in a like
-situation, that concatenation of events is the one most
-rarely foreseen by anybody, and George was fain to
-content himself with speculating upon the nature of the
-happiness he would have enjoyed had he been loved by
-a woman who seemed now to be dead to the whole world
-of the affections. It was sufficient to compare her with
-her sister to understand that she was, of the two, the
-nobler character; it was enough to think of Mamie to
-see that in that direction no comparison was even possible.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would be strange if it should be my fate to love
-her, after all,” George thought. “She would never love
-me.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He roused himself from his reverie and sat down to
-his table, by sheer force of habit. Paper and ink were
-before him, and his pen lay ready to his hand, where he
-had last thrown it down. Almost unconsciously he
-began to write, putting down notes of a situation that
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_392'>392</span>had suddenly presented itself to his mind. The pen
-moved along, sometimes running rapidly, sometimes
-stopping with an impatient hesitation during which it
-continued to move uneasily in the air. Characters
-shaped themselves out of the chaos and names sounded
-in the willing ear of the writer. The situation which
-he had first thought of was all at once transformed into
-a detail in a second and larger action, another possibility
-started up out of darkness, in brilliant clearness, and
-absorbed the matters already thought of into itself,
-broadening and strengthening every moment. Whole
-chapters now stood out as if already written, and in their
-places. A detail here, another there, to be changed or
-adapted, one glance at the whole, one or two names
-spoken aloud to see how they sounded in the stillness,
-a pause of a moment, a fresh sheet of paper, and George
-Wood was launched upon the first chapter of a new
-novel, forgetful of Grace, of Constance Fearing and even
-of poor Mamie herself and of all that had happened only
-two or three hours earlier.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was writing, working with passionate and all-absorbing
-interest at the expression of his fancies.
-What he did was good, well thought, clearly expressed,
-harmoniously composed. When it was given to the
-public it was spoken of as the work of a man of heart,
-full of human sympathy and understanding. At the
-time when he was inventing the plot and writing down
-the beginning of his story, a number of people intimately
-connected with his life were all in one way or another
-suffering acutely and he himself was the direct or indirect
-cause of all their sufferings. He was neither a cruel
-man, nor thoughtless nor unkind, but he was for the
-time utterly unconscious of the outer world, and if not
-happy at least profoundly interested in what he was
-doing.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>During that hour, Sherrington Trimm, pale and nervous,
-was walking up and down his endless beat in the
-little room at the club where George had left him, trying
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_393'>393</span>to master his anger and disgust before going home
-to meet his wife and the inevitable explanation which
-must ensue. The servant came in and lit the gaslight
-and stirred the fire but Trimm never saw him nor varied
-the monotony of his walk.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At his own house, things were no better. Totty, completely
-broken down, by the failure of all her plans and
-the disclosure of her discreditable secret, had recovered
-enough from her hysterics to be put to bed by her faithful
-maid, who was surprised to find that, as all signs fail
-in fair weather, none of the usual remedies could extract
-a word of satisfaction or an expression of relief from
-her mistress. Down stairs, in the little boudoir where
-she had last seen the man she loved, Mamie was lying
-stretched upon the divan, dry eyed, with strained lips
-and blanched cheeks, knowing nothing save that her
-passion had dashed itself to pieces against a rock in the
-midst of its fairest voyage.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>In another house, far distant, Grace Bond was leaning
-against a broad chimney-piece, a half-sorrowful, half-contemptuous
-smile upon her strong sad face, as she
-thought of all her sister’s changes and vacillations and
-of the aimlessness of the fair young life. Above, in her
-own room, Constance Fearing was kneeling and praying
-with all her might, though she hardly knew for what,
-while the bright tears flowed down her thin cheeks in an
-unceasing stream.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“And yet, when he came to life, he called me first!”
-she cried, stretching out her hands and looking upward
-as though protesting against the injustice of Heaven.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>And in yet another place, in a magnificent chamber,
-where the softened light played upon rich carvings and
-soft carpets, an old man lay dying of his last fit of anger.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>All for the sake of George Wood who, conscious that
-many if not all were in deep trouble, anxiety or suffering,
-was driving his pen unceasingly from one side of a
-piece of paper to the other, with an expression of keen
-interest on his dark face, and a look of eager delight in
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_394'>394</span>his eyes such as a man may show who is hunting an
-animal of value and who is on the point of overtaking
-his prey.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>But for the accident of thought which had thrown a
-new idea into the circulation of his brain, he would still
-have been sitting in his shabby easy-chair, thoughtfully
-pulling at his short pipe and thinking of all those persons
-whom he had seen that day, kindly of some, unkindly
-of others, but not deaf to all memories and shut off from
-all sympathy by something which had suddenly arisen
-between himself and the waking, suffering world.</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXVIII.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>The sun shines alike upon the just and the unjust, and
-it would seem to follow that all men should be judged
-by the same measure in the more important actions and
-emotions of their lives. To apply the principle of a
-double standard to mankind is to run the risk of producing
-some very curious results in morality. And yet,
-there are undoubtedly cases in which a man has a claim
-to special consideration and, as it were, to a trial by a
-special jury. There have been many great statesmen
-whose private practice in regard to financial transactions
-has been more than shady, and there have been others
-whose private lives have been spotless, but whose political
-doings have been unscrupulous in the extreme. There
-are professions and careers in which it is sufficient to
-act precisely as all others engaged in the same occupation
-would act, and in which the most important element
-of success is a happy faculty of keeping the brain power
-at the same unvarying pressure, neither high nor low,
-but always ready to be used, and in such a state that it
-may always be relied upon to perform the same amount
-of work in a given time. There are other occupations
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_395'>395</span>in which there are necessarily moments of enormous
-activity at uncertain intervals, followed by periods of
-total relaxation and rest. One might divide all careers
-roughly into two classes, and call the one the continuous
-class and the other the intermittent. The profession of
-the novelist falls within the latter division. Very few
-men or women who have written well have succeeded in
-reducing the exercise of their art to a necessary daily
-function of the body. Very few intellectual machines
-can be made to bear the strain of producing works of
-imagination in regular quantities throughout many years
-at an unvarying rate, day after day. Neither the brain
-nor the body will bear it, and if the attempt be made
-either the one or the other, or both, will ultimately
-suffer. Without being necessarily spasmodic, the storyteller’s
-activity is almost unavoidably intermittent.
-There are men who can take up the pen and drive it
-during seven, eight and even nine hours a day for six
-weeks or two months and who, having finished their
-story, either fall into a condition of indolent apathy
-until the next book has to be written, or return at once
-to some favourite occupation which produces no apparent
-result, and of which the public has never heard. There
-are many varieties of the genus author. There is the
-sailor author, who only comes ashore to write his book
-and puts to sea again as soon as it is in the publisher’s
-hands. There is the hunting author, who as in the
-case of Anthony Trollope, keeps his body in such condition
-that he can do a little good work every day of the
-year, a great and notable exception to the rule. There
-is the student author, whose laborious work of exegesis
-will never be heard of, but who interrupts it from time
-to time in order to produce a piece of brilliant fiction,
-returning to his Sanscrit each time with renewed interest
-and industry. There is the musical author, whose
-preference would have led him to be a professional
-musician, but who had not quite enough talent for it, or
-not quite enough technical facility or whose musical
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_396'>396</span>education began a little too late. There is the adventurous
-author, who shoots in Africa or has a habit of
-spending the winter in eastern Siberia. There is the
-artistic author, who may be found in out-of-the-way
-towns in Italy, patiently copying old pictures, as though
-his life depended upon his accuracy, or sketching ragged
-boys and girls in very ragged water-colour. There is
-the social author—and he is not always the least successful
-in his profession—who is a favourite everywhere,
-who can dance and sing and act, and who regards
-the occasional production of a novel as an episode in his
-life. There is the author who prepares himself many
-months beforehand for what he intends to do by frequenting
-the society, whether high or low, which he wishes to
-depict, who writes his book in one month of the year
-and spends the other eleven in observing the manners
-and customs of men and women. There is the author
-who lives in solitary places and evolves his characters
-out of his inner consciousness and who occasionally
-descends, manuscript in hand, from his inaccessible fastnesses
-and ravages all the coasts of Covent Garden,
-Henrietta Street and the Strand, until he has got his
-price and disappears as suddenly as he came, taking his
-gold with him, no man knows whither. There is the
-author whom no man can boast of having ever seen, who
-never answers a letter, nor gives an autograph, nor lets
-any one but his publisher know where he lives, but
-whose three volumes appear punctually twice a year and
-whose name is familiar in many mouths. Unless he is
-to be found described in an encyclopædia you will never
-know whether he is old or young, black or grey, good-looking
-or ugly, straight or hunchbacked. He is to you
-a vague, imaginary personage, surrounded by a pillar of
-cloud. In reality he is perhaps a fat little man of fifty,
-who wears gold-rimmed spectacles and has discovered
-that he can only write if he lives in one particular
-Hungarian village with a name that baffles pronunciation,
-and whose chief interest in life lies in the study
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_397'>397</span>of socialism or the cholera microbe. Then again, there
-is the fighting author, grim, grey and tough as a Toledo
-blade, who has ridden through many a hard-fought field
-in many lands and has smelled more gunpowder in his
-time than most great generals, out of sheer love for the
-stuff. There is also the pacific author, who frequents
-peace congresses and makes speeches in favour of a
-general disarming of all nations. There are countless
-species and varieties of the genus. There is even the
-poet author, who writes thousands of execrable verses in
-secret and produces exquisite romances in prose only
-because he can do nothing else.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>If we admit that novels, on the whole, are a good to
-society at large, as most people, excepting authors themselves,
-are generally ready to admit, we grant at the
-same time that they must be produced by individuals
-possessing the necessary talents and characteristics of
-intelligence. And if it is shown that a majority of
-these individuals do their work in a somewhat erratic
-fashion, and behave somewhat erratically while they are
-doing it, such defects must be condoned, at least, if not
-counted to them for positive righteousness. With many
-of them the appearance of a new idea within the field of
-their mental vision is equivalent to a command to write,
-which they are neither able nor anxious to resist; and,
-if they are men of talent, it is very hard for them to
-turn their attention to anything else until the idea is
-expressed on paper. Let them not be thought heartless
-or selfish if they sometimes seem to care nothing for
-what happens around them while they are subject to the
-imperious domination of the new idea. They are neither
-the one nor the other. They are simply unconscious,
-like a man in a cataleptic trance. The plainest language
-conveys no meaning to their abstracted comprehension,
-the most startling sights produce no impression upon
-their sense; they are in another world, living and talking
-with unseen creations of their own fancy and for the
-time being they are not to be considered as ordinary
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_398'>398</span>human beings, nor judged by the standard to which other
-men are subject.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It would not therefore be just to say that during the
-days which followed the breaking off of his engagement
-with Mamie Trimm, George Wood was cruel or unfeeling
-because he was wholly unconscious of her existence
-throughout the greater part of each twenty-four hours.
-By a coincidence which he would certainly not have
-invoked, a train of thought had begun its course in his
-brain within an hour or two of the catastrophe, and he
-was powerless to stop himself in the pursuit of it until
-he had reached the end. During nine whole days he
-never left the house, and scarcely went out of his room
-except to eat his meals, which he did in a summary fashion
-without wasting time in superfluous conversation.
-On the morning of the tenth day he knew that he was at
-the last chapter and he sat down at his table in that
-state of mind to which a very young author is brought
-by a week and a half of unceasing fatigue and excitement.
-The room swam with him, and he could see
-nothing distinctly except his paper, the point of his pen,
-and the moving panorama in his brain, of which it was
-essential to catch every detail before it had passed into
-the outer darkness from which ideas cannot be brought
-back. His hand was icy cold, moist and unsteady and
-his face was pale, the eyelids dark and swollen, and
-the veins on the temples distended. He moved his feet
-nervously as he wrote, shrugged his left shoulder with
-impatience at the slightest hesitation about the use of a
-word, and his usually imperturbable features translated
-into expression every thought, as rapidly as he could
-put it into words with his pen. The house might have
-burned over his head, and he would have gone on writing
-until the paper under his hand was on fire. No
-ordinary noise would have reached his ears, conscious
-only of the scratching of the steel point upon the smooth
-sheet. He could have worked as well in the din of a
-public room in a hotel, or in the crowded hall of a great
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_399'>399</span>railway station, as in the silence and solitude of his own
-chamber. He had reached the point of abstraction at
-which nothing is of the slightest consequence to the
-writer provided that the ink will flow and the paper will
-not blot. Like a skilled swordsman, he was conscious
-only of his enemy’s eye and of the state of the weapons.
-The weapons were pen, ink and paper, and the enemy
-was the idea to be pursued, overtaken, pierced and
-pinned down before it could assume another shape, or
-escape again into chaos. The sun rose above the little
-paved brick court below his window, and began to shine
-into the window itself. Then a storm came up and the
-sky turned suddenly black, while the wind whistled
-through the yard with that peculiarly unnatural sound
-which it makes in great cities, so different from its sighing
-and moaning and roaring amongst trees and rocks.
-The first snowflakes were whirled against the panes of
-glass and slid down to the frame in half-transparent
-patches. The wind sank again, and the snow fluttered
-silently down like the unwinding of an endless lace
-curtain from above. Then, the flakes were suddenly
-illuminated by a burst of sunshine and melted as they
-fell and turned to bright drops of water in the air, and
-then vanished again, and the small piece of sky above
-the great house on the other side of the yard was once
-more clear and blue, as a sapphire that has been dipped
-in pure water. It was afternoon, and George was
-unconscious of the many changes of the day, unconscious
-that he had not eaten nor drunk since morning, and that
-he had even forgotten to smoke. One after another the
-pages were numbered, filled and tossed aside, as he went
-on, never raising his head nor looking away from his
-work lest he should lose something of the play upon
-which all his faculties were inwardly concentrated, and
-of which it was his business to transcribe every word,
-and to note every passing attitude and gesture of the
-actors who were performing for his benefit.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Some one knocked at the door, gently at first and then
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_400'>400</span>more loudly. Then, receiving no answer, the person’s
-footsteps could be heard retreating towards the landing.
-The firing of a cannon in the room would hardly have
-made George turn his head at that moment, much less
-the rapping of a servant’s knuckles upon a wooden panel.
-Several minutes elapsed, and then heavier footsteps were
-heard again, and the latch was turned and the door
-moved noiselessly on its hinges. Jonah Wood’s iron-grey
-head appeared in the opening. George had heard
-nothing and during several seconds the old gentleman
-watched him curiously. He had the greatest consideration
-for his son’s privacy when at work, though he could
-not readily understand the terribly disturbing effect of
-an interruption upon a brain so much more sensitively
-organised than his own. Now, however, the case was
-serious, and George must be interrupted, cost what it
-might. He was evidently unconscious that any one was
-in the room, and his back was turned as he sat. Jonah
-Wood resolved to be cautious.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George!” he whispered, rather hoarsely. But George
-did not hear.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>There was nothing to be done but to cross the room
-and rouse him. The old man stepped as softly as he
-could upon the uncarpeted wooden floor, and placed
-himself between the light and the writer. George
-looked up and started violently, so that his pen flew
-into the air and fell upon the boards. At the same
-time he uttered a short, sharp cry, neither an oath nor
-exclamation, but a sound such as a man might make who
-is unexpectedly and painfully wounded in battle. Then
-he saw his father and laughed nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You frightened me. I did not see you come in,” he
-said quickly.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am sorry,” said his father, not understanding at all
-how a man usually calm and courageous could be so
-easily startled. “It is rather important, or I would not
-interrupt you. Mr. Sherrington Trimm is down stairs.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What does he want?” George asked vaguely and
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_401'>401</span>looking as though he had forgotten who Sherrington
-Trimm was.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He wants you, my boy. You must go down at once.
-It is very important. Tom Craik was buried yesterday.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Buried!” exclaimed George. “I did not know he
-was dead.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I understand that he died several days ago, in consequence
-of that fit of anger he had. You remember?
-What is the matter with you, George?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Cannot you see what is the matter?” George cried
-a little impatiently. “I am just finishing my book.
-What if the old fellow is dead? He has had plenty of
-leisure to change his will—in all this time. What does
-Sherry want?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“He did not change his will, and Mr. Trimm wants
-to read it to you. George, you do not seem to realise
-that you are a very rich man, a very, very rich man,”
-repeated Jonah Wood with weighty emphasis.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will do quite as well if he reads the confounded
-thing to you,” said George, picking up his pen from the
-floor beside him, examining the point and then dipping
-it into the ink.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He was never quite sure how much of his indifference
-was assumed and how much of it was real, resulting
-from his extreme impatience to finish his work. But to
-Jonah Wood, it had all the appearance of being genuine.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am surprised, George,” said the old gentleman,
-looking very grave. “Are you in your right mind?
-Are you feeling quite well? I am afraid this good news
-has upset you.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George rose from the table with a look of disgust,
-bent down and looked over the last lines he had written,
-and then stood up.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“If nothing else will satisfy anybody, I suppose I
-must go down,” he said regretfully. “Why did not the
-old brute leave the money to you instead of to me? You
-do not imagine I am going to keep it, do you? Most of
-it is yours anyhow.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_402'>402</span>“I understand,” answered Jonah Wood, pushing him
-gently towards the door, “that the estate is large enough
-to cover what I lost four or five times over, if not more.
-It is very important——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Do you mean to say it is as much as that?” George
-asked in some surprise.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That seems to be the impression,” answered his
-father with an odd laugh, which George had not heard
-for many years. Jonah Wood was ashamed of showing
-too much satisfaction. It was his principle never to
-make any exhibition of his feelings, but his voice could
-not be altogether controlled, and there was an unusual
-light in his eyes. George, who by this time had collected
-his senses, and was able to think of something
-besides his story, saw the change in his father’s face and
-understood it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It will be jolly to be rich again, won’t it, father?” he
-said, familiarly and with more affection than he generally
-showed by manner or voice.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Very pleasant, very pleasant indeed,” answered
-Jonah Wood with the same odd laugh. “Mr. Trimm
-tells me he has left you the house as it stands with
-everything in it, and the horses—everything. I must
-say, George, the old man has made amends for all he did.
-It looks very like an act of conscience.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Amends? Yes, with compound interest for a dozen
-years or more, if all this is true. Well, here goes the
-millionaire,” he exclaimed as they left the room together.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>It would be hard to imagine a position more completely
-disagreeable than that in which Sherrington
-Trimm was placed on that particular afternoon. It was
-bad enough to have to meet George at all after what had
-happened, but it was most unpleasant to appear as the
-executor of the very will which had caused so much
-trouble, to feel that he was bringing to the heir the very
-document which his wife had stolen out of his own office,
-and handing over to him the fortune which his wife had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_403'>403</span>tried so hard to bring into his own daughter’s hands.
-But Sherrington Trimm’s reputation for honesty and his
-courageous self-possession had carried him through many
-difficult moments in life, and he would never have
-thought of deputing any one else to fulfil the repugnant
-task in his stead.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Jonah Wood left his son at the door of the sitting-room
-and discreetly disappeared. George went in and
-found the lawyer standing before the fire with a roll of
-papers in his hands. He was a little pale and careworn,
-but his appearance was as neat and dapper and brisk as
-ever.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George,” he said frankly as he took his hand, “poor
-Tom has left you everything, as he said he would. Now,
-I can quite imagine that the sight of me is not exactly
-pleasant to you. But business is business and this has
-got to be put through, so just consider that I am the
-lawyer and forget that I am Sherry Trimm.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall never forget that you are Sherry Trimm,”
-George answered. “You and I can avoid unpleasant
-subjects and be as good friends as ever.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are a good fellow, George. The best proof of
-it is that not a word has been breathed about this affair.
-We have simply announced that the engagement is
-broken off.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Then Mamie has refused to change her mind,” observed
-George, wondering how he could ever have been
-engaged to marry her, and how he could have forgotten
-that at his last meeting with Sherry Trimm he had still
-left the matter open, refusing to withdraw his promise.
-But between that day and this he had lived through many
-emotions and changing scenes in the playhouse of his
-brain, and his own immediate past seemed immensely
-distant from his present.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Mamie would not change her mind, if I would let
-her,” Trimm answered briefly. “Let us get to business.
-Here is the will. I opened it yesterday after the funeral
-in the presence of the family and the witnesses as usual
-in such cases.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_404'>404</span>“Excuse me,” George said. “I am very glad that I
-was not present, but would it not have been proper to let
-me know?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“It would have been, of course. But as there was no
-obligation in the matter, I did not. I supposed that you
-would hear of the death almost as soon as it was known.
-You and your father were known to be on bad terms with
-Tom and if you had been sent for it would have looked
-as though we had all known what was in the will. People
-would have supposed in that case that you must have
-known it also, and you would have been blamed for not
-treating the old gentleman with more consideration than
-you did. I have often heard you say sharp things about
-him at the club. This is a surprise to you. There is no
-reason for letting anybody suppose that it is not. A lot of
-small good reasons made one big good one between them.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I see,” said George. “Thank you. You were very
-wise.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>He took the document from Trimm’s hands and read
-it hastily. The touch of it was disagreeable to him as
-he remembered where he had last seen it.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I had supposed that he would make another after
-what I said to him,” George remarked. “You are quite
-sure he did not?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Positive. He never allowed it to be out of his sight
-after he found it. It was under his pillow when he died.
-The last words that anybody could understand were to
-the effect that you should have the money, whether you
-wanted it or not. It was a fixed idea with him. I suppose
-you know why. He felt that some of it belonged
-to your father by right. The transaction by which he
-got it was legal—but peculiar. There are peculiarities
-in my wife’s family.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Sherry Trimm looked away and pulled his grizzled
-moustache nervously.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“There will be a good many formalities,” he continued.
-“Tom owned property in several different
-States. I have brought you the schedule. You can have
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_405'>405</span>possession in New York immediately, of course. It will
-take some little time to manage the rest, proving the will
-half a dozen times over. If you care to move into the
-house to-morrow, there is no objection, because there is
-nobody to object.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have a proposition to make,” said George. “My
-father is a far better man of business than I. Could you
-not tell me in round numbers about what I have to expect,
-and then go over these papers with him?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“In round numbers,” repeated Trimm thoughtfully.
-“The fact is, he managed a great deal of his property
-himself. I suppose I could tell you within a million or
-two.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A million or two!” exclaimed George. Sherry
-Trimm smiled at the intonation.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You are an enormously rich man,” he said quietly.
-“The estate is worth anywhere from twelve to fifteen
-millions of dollars.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“All mine?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Look at the will. He never spent a third of his
-income, so far as I could find out.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>George said nothing more, but began to walk up and
-down the room nervously. He detested everything connected
-with money, and had only a relative idea of its
-value, but he was staggered by the magnitude of the fortune
-thus suddenly thrown into his hands. He understood
-now the expression he had seen on his father’s
-face.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I had no conception of the amount,” he said at last.
-“I thought it might be a million.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A million!” laughed Trimm scornfully. “A man
-does not live, as he lived, on forty or fifty thousand a
-year. It needs more than that. A million is nothing
-nowadays. Every man who wears a good coat has a
-million. There is not a man living in Fifth Avenue
-who has less than a million.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I wonder how it looks on paper,” said George. “I
-will try and go through the schedule with you myself.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_406'>406</span>An hour later George was once more in his room. For
-a few moments he stood looking through the window at
-the old familiar brick wall and at the windows of the
-house beyond, but his reflections were very vague and
-shapeless. He could not realise his position nor his
-importance, as he drummed a tattoo on the glass with
-his nails. He was trying to think of the changes that
-were inevitable in the immediate future, of his life in
-another house, of the faces of his old acquaintances and
-of the expression some of them would wear. He wondered
-what Johnson would say. The name, passing
-through his mind, recalled his career, his work and the
-unfinished chapter that lay on the table behind him. In
-an instant his brain returned to the point at which he
-had been interrupted. Tom Craik, Sherry Trimm, the
-will and the millions vanished into darkness, and before
-he was fairly aware of it he was writing again.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The days were short and he was obliged to light the
-old kerosene lamp with the green shade which had served
-him through so many hours of labour and study. The
-action was purely mechanical and did not break his
-train of thought, nor did it suggest that in a few months
-he would think it strange that he should ever have been
-obliged to do such a thing for himself. He wrote steadily
-on to the end, and signed his name and dated the manuscript
-before he rose from his seat. Then he stretched
-himself, yawned and looked at his watch, returned to
-the table and laid the sheets neatly together in their
-order with the rest and put the whole into a drawer.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“That job is done,” he said aloud, in a tone of profound
-satisfaction. “And now, I can think of something
-else.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>Thereupon, without as much as thinking of resting
-himself after the terrible strain he had sustained during
-ten days, he proceeded to dress himself with a scrupulous
-care for the evening, and went down stairs to dinner.
-He found his father in his accustomed place
-before the fire, reading as usual, and holding his heavy
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_407'>407</span>book rigidly before his eyes in a way that would have
-made an ordinary man’s hand ache.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I have finished my book!” cried George as he entered
-the room.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Ah, I am delighted to hear it. Do you mean to say
-that you have been writing all the afternoon since Mr.
-Trimm went away?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Until half an hour ago.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Well, you have exceptionally strong nerves,” said
-the old gentleman, mechanically raising his book again.
-Then as though he were willing to make a concession to
-circumstances for once in his life, he closed it with a
-solemn clapping sound and laid it down.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“George, my boy,” he said impressively, “you are
-enormously wealthy. Do you realise the fact?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I am also enormously hungry,” said George with a
-laugh. “Is there any cause or reason in the nature of
-the cook or of anything else why you and I should not be
-fed?”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“To tell the truth, I had a little surprise for you,”
-answered his father. “I thought we ought to do something
-to commemorate the event, so I went out and got a
-brace of canvas-backs from Delmonico’s and a bottle of
-good wine. Kate is roasting the ducks and the champagne
-is on the ice. It was a little late when I got back—sorry
-to keep you waiting, my boy.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Sorry!” cried George. “The idea of being sorry
-for anything when there are canvas-backs and champagne
-in the house. You dear old man! I will pay you
-for this, though. You shall live on the fat of the land
-for the rest of your days!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Enough is as good as a feast,” observed Jonah Wood
-with great gravity.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What roaring feasts we will have—or what stupendously
-plentiful enoughs, if you like it better! Father,
-you are better already. I heard you laugh to-day as you
-used to laugh when I was a boy.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“A little prosperity will do us both good,” said the old
-gentleman, who was rapidly warming into geniality.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_408'>408</span>“I say,” suggested George. “I have finished my book,
-and you have nothing to do. Let us pack up our traps
-and go to Paris and paint the town a vivid scarlet.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“What?” asked Jonah Wood, to whom slang had
-always been a mystery.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Paint the town red,” repeated George. “In short,
-have a spree, a lark, a jollification, you and I.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I would like to see Paris again, well enough, if that
-is what you mean. By the way, George, your heart does
-not seem to trouble you much, just at present.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Why should it? I sometimes wish it would, in the
-right direction.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“You have your choice now, George, you have your
-choice, now, of the whole female population of the
-globe——”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Of all the girls beside the water, From Janeiro to
-Gibraltar, as the old song says,” laughed George.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Precisely so. You can have any of them for the asking.
-Money is a great power, my boy, a great power.
-You must be careful how you use it.”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“I shall not use it. I shall give it all to you to spend
-because it will amuse you, and I will go on writing
-books because that is the only thing I can do approximately
-well. Do you know? I believe I shall be ridiculous
-in the character of the rich man.”</p>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>CHAPTER XXIX.</h2>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c006'>Three years later George Wood was sitting alone on a
-winter’s afternoon in the library where Thomas Craik
-had once given him his views on life in general and on
-ambition in particular. It was already almost dark, for
-the days were very short, and two lamps shed a soft light
-from above upon the broad polished table.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The man’s face had changed during the years that had
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_409'>409</span>passed since he had found himself free from his engagement
-to marry his cousin. The angular head had grown
-more massive, the shadows about the eyes and temples
-had deepened, the complexion was paler and less youthful,
-the expression more determined than ever, and yet
-more kind and less scornful. In those years he had
-seen much and had accomplished much, and he had
-learned to know at last what it meant to feel with the
-heart, instead of with the sensibilities, human or artistic.
-His money had not spoiled him. On the contrary, the
-absence of all preoccupations in the matter of his material
-welfare, had left the man himself free to think, to
-act and to feel according to his natural instincts.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At the present moment he was absorbed in thought.
-The familiar sheet of paper lay before him, and he held
-his pen in his hand, but the point had long been dry, and
-had long ceased to move over the smooth surface. There
-was a number at the top of the page, and a dozen lines
-had been written, continuing a conversation that had
-gone before. But the imaginary person had broken off
-in the middle of his saying, and in the theatre of the
-writer’s fancy the stage of his own life had suddenly
-appeared, and his own self was among the players, acting
-the acts and speaking the speeches of long ago, while
-the owner of the old self watched and listened to the
-piece with fascinated interest, commenting critically
-upon what passed before his eyes, and upon the words
-that rang through the waking dream. The habit of
-expression was so strong that his own thoughts took
-shape as though he were writing them down.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“They have played the parts of the three fates in my
-life,” he said to himself. “Constance was my Clotho,
-Mamie was my Lachesis—Grace is my Atropos. I was
-not so heartless in those first days, as I have sometimes
-fancied that I was. I loved my Clotho, after a young
-fashion. She took me out of darkness and chaos and
-made me an active, real being. When I see how
-wretchedly unhappy I used to be, and when I think how
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_410'>410</span>she first showed me that I was able to do something in
-the world, it does not seem strange that I should have
-worshipped her as a sort of goddess. If things had gone
-otherwise, if she had taken me instead of refusing me
-on that first of May, if I had married her, we might
-have been very happy together, for a time, perhaps for
-always. But we were unlike in the wrong way; our
-points of difference did not complement each other.
-She has married Dr. Drinkwater, the Reverend Doctor
-Drinkwater, a good man twenty years older than herself,
-and she seems perfectly contented. The test of fitness
-lies in reversing the order of events. If to-day her good
-husband were to die, could I take his place in her love
-or estimation? Certainly not. If Grace had married
-the clergyman, could Constance have been to me what
-Grace is, could I have loved her as I love this woman
-who will never love me? Assuredly not; the thing is
-impossible. I loved Constance with one half of myself,
-and as far as I went I was in earnest. Perhaps it was
-the higher, more intellectual part of me, for I did not
-love her because she was a woman, but because she was
-unlike all other women—in other words, a sort of angel.
-Angels may have loved women in the days of the giants,
-but no man can love an angel as a woman ought to be
-loved. As for me, my ears are wearied by too much
-angelic music, the harmonies are too thin and delicate,
-the notes lack character, the melodies all end in one
-close. I used to think that there was no such thing as
-friendship. I have changed my mind. Constance is a
-very good friend to me, and I to her, though neither of
-us can understand the other’s life any longer, as we
-understood each other when she took up the distaff of
-my life and first set the spindle whirling.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Was I heartless with poor Mamie? I suppose I was,
-because I made her believe for a while that I loved her.
-Let us be honest. I felt something, I made myself
-believe that I felt something which was like love. It
-was of the baser kind. It was the temptation of the
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_411'>411</span>eye, the fascination of a magnetic vitality, the flattery
-of my vanity in seeing myself so loved. I lived for
-months in an enchanted palace in an enchanted garden,
-where she was the enchantress. Everything contributed
-to awaken in me the joy of mere life, the belief that
-reality was better than romance, and that, in love, it
-was better to receive than to give. I was like a man in
-a badly conceived novel, with whom everything rests on
-a false basis, in which the scenery is false, the passion
-is false, and the belief in the future is most false of all.
-And how commonplace it all seems, as I look back upon
-it. I do not remember to have once felt a pain like a
-knife just under the heart, in all that time, though my
-blood ran fast enough sometimes. And it all went on
-so smoothly as Lachesis let the thread spin through her
-pretty fingers. Who would have believed that a man
-could be at once so fooled and so loved? I was sorry
-that I could not love her, even after we knew all that
-her mother had done. I remember that I began a book
-on that very day. Heartless of me, was it not? If she
-had been Grace I should never have written again. But
-she was only Lachesis; the thread turned under her
-hand, and spun on in spite of her, and in spite of itself—to
-its end.</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>“Grace is the end. There can be no loving after this.
-My father tells me that I am working too hard and that
-I am growing prematurely old. It is not the work that
-does it. It is something that wears out the life from
-the core. And yet I would not be without it. There is
-that thrust again, that says I am not deceiving myself.
-Grace holds the thread and will neither cut it, nor let
-it run on through her fingers. Heaven knows, I am not
-a sentimental man! But for the physical pain I feel
-when I think of losing her, I should laugh at myself
-and let her slip down to the middle distance of other
-memories, not quite out of sight, nor yet quite out of
-mind, but wholly out of my heart. I have tried it many
-a time, but the trouble grows instead of wearing out. I
-<span class='pageno' id='Page_412'>412</span>have tried wandering about the earth in most known
-and unknown directions. It never did me any good. I
-wonder whether she knows! After all it will be four
-years next summer since poor John Bond was drowned,
-and everybody says she has forgotten him. But she is
-not a woman who forgets, any more than she is one to
-waste her life in a perpetual mourning. To speak may
-be to cut the thread. That would be the end, indeed!
-I should see her after that, of course, but it would never
-be the same again. She would know my secret then and
-all would be over, the hours together, the talks, the
-touch of hands that means so much to me and so little to
-her. And yet, to know—to know at last the end of it
-all—and the great ‘perhaps’ the great ‘if’—if she
-should! But there is no ‘perhaps,’ and there can be no
-‘if.’ She is my fate, and it is my fate that there should
-be no end to this, but the end of life itself. Better so.
-Better to have loved ever so unhappily, than to have
-been married to any of the Constances or the Mamies of
-this world! Heigho—I suppose people think that there
-is nothing I cannot have for my money! Nothing?
-There is all that could make life worth living, and
-which millions cannot buy!”</p>
-
-<p class='c000'>The curtain fell before the little stage, and the eyes
-of the lonely man closed with an expression of intense
-pain, as he let his forehead rest in the palm of his hand.</p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div>Typography by J. S. Cushing &amp; Co., Boston, U.S.A.</div>
- <div class='c003'>Presswork by Berwick &amp; Smith, Boston, U.S.A.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div><span class='pageno' id='Page_413'>413</span></div>
-<div class='ph2'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>MACMILLAN’S DOLLAR SERIES</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div>OF</div>
- <div class='c003'>WORKS BY POPULAR AUTHORS.</div>
- <div class='c003'><em>Crown 8vo. Cloth extra. $1.00 each.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> F. MARION CRAWFORD.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>With the solitary exception of Mrs. Oliphant, we have no living novelist more distinguished
-for variety of theme and range of imaginative outlook than Mr. Marion Crawford.—<cite>Spectator.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE CHILDREN OF THE KING. (<em>Ready in January.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>MR. ISAACS: A Tale of Modern India.</li>
- <li class='c008'>DR. CLAUDIUS: A True Story.</li>
- <li class='c008'>ZOROASTER.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A TALE OF A LONELY PARISH.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SARACINESCA. A New Novel.</li>
- <li class='c008'>MARZIO’S CRUCIFIX.</li>
- <li class='c008'>WITH THE IMMORTALS.</li>
- <li class='c008'>GREIFENSTEIN.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SANT’ ILARIO.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A CIGARETTE-MAKER’S ROMANCE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>KHALED: A Tale of Arabia.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE WITCH OF PRAGUE. With numerous Illustrations by <span class='sc'>W. J. Hennessy</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE THREE FATES.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> CHARLES DICKENS.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>It would be difficult to imagine a better edition of Dickens at the price than that which
-is now appearing in Macmillan’s Series of Dollar Novels.—<cite>Boston Beacon.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE PICKWICK PAPERS. 50 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>OLIVER TWIST. 27 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>NICHOLAS NICKLEBY. 44 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT. 41 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE OLD CURIOSITY SHOP. 97 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>BARNABY RUDGE. 76 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>SKETCHES BY BOZ. 44 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>DOMBEY AND SON. 40 Illustrations. (<em>Ready.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>CHRISTMAS BOOKS. 65 Illustrations. (<em>December.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>DAVID COPPERFIELD. 41 Illustrations. (<em>January.</em>)</li>
- <li class='c008'>AMERICAN NOTES, AND PICTURES FROM ITALY. 4 Illustrations (<em>Feb.</em>)</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_414'>414</span><span class='sc'>By</span> CHARLES KINGSLEY.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>ALTON LOCKE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HEREWARD.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HEROES.</li>
- <li class='c008'>WESTWARD HO!</li>
- <li class='c008'>HYPATIA.</li>
- <li class='c008'>TWO YEARS AGO.</li>
- <li class='c008'>WATER BABIES. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>YEAST.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> HENRY JAMES.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>He has the power of seeing with the artistic perception of the few, and of writing
-about what he has seen, so that the many can understand and feel with him.—<cite>Saturday
-Review.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE LESSON OF THE MASTER AND OTHER STORIES.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE REVERBERATOR.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE ASPEN PAPERS AND OTHER STORIES.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A LONDON LIFE.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> ANNIE KEARY.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>In our opinion there have not been many novels published better worth reading. The
-literary workmanship is excellent, and all the windings of the stories are worked with
-patient fulness and a skill not often found.—<cite>Spectator.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>JANET’S HOME.</li>
- <li class='c008'>CLEMENCY FRANKLYN.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A DOUBTING HEART.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE HEROES OF ASGARD.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A YORK AND LANCASTER ROSE.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> D. CHRISTIE MURRAY.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Few modern novelists can tell a story of English country life better than Mr. D.
-Christie Murray.—<cite>Spectator.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>AUNT RACHEL.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE WEAKER VESSEL.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SCHWARZ.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> MRS. OLIPHANT.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Has the charm of style, the literary quality and flavour that never fails to please.—<cite>Saturday
-Review.</cite></p>
-
-<p class='c000'>At her best she is, with one or two exceptions, the best of living English novelists.—<cite>Academy.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>A SON OF THE SOIL. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE CURATE IN CHARGE. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>YOUNG MUSGRAVE. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HE THAT WILL NOT WHEN HE MAY. New and Cheaper Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SIR TOM. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HESTER. A Story of Contemporary Life.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE WIZARD’S SON. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A COUNTRY GENTLEMAN AND HIS FAMILY. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>NEIGHBOURS ON THE GREEN. New Edition.</li>
- <li class='c008'>AGNES HOPETOUN’S SCHOOLS AND HOLIDAYS. With Illustrations.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_415'>415</span><span class='sc'>By</span> J. H. SHORTHOUSE.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Powerful, striking, and fascinating romances.—<cite>Anti-Jacobin.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>BLANCHE, LADY FALAISE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>JOHN INGLESANT.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SIR PERCIVAL.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE COUNTESS EVE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A TEACHER OF THE VIOLIN.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE LITTLE SCHOOLMASTER MARK.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> MRS. CRAIK.</div>
- <div class='c003'>(The Author of “John Halifax, Gentleman.”)</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>LITTLE SUNSHINE’S HOLIDAY.</li>
- <li class='c008'>ADVENTURES OF A BROWNIE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>ALICE LEARMONT.</li>
- <li class='c008'>OUR YEAR.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> MRS. HUMPHRY WARD.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mrs. Ward, with her “Robert Elsmere” and “David Grieve,” has established with
-extraordinary rapidity an enduring reputation as one who has expressed what is deepest
-and most real in the thought of the time.... They are dramas of the time vitalized
-by the hopes, fears, doubts, and despairing struggles after higher ideals which are swaying
-the minds of men and women of this generation.—<cite>New York Tribune.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>ROBERT ELSMERE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE HISTORY OF DAVID GRIEVE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>MILLY AND OLLY.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> RUDYARD KIPLING.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Every one knows that it is not easy to write good short stories. Mr. Kipling has
-changed all that. Here are forty of them, averaging less than eight pages a-piece; there
-is not a dull one in the lot. Some are tragedy, some broad comedy, some tolerably sharp
-satire. The time has passed to ignore or undervalue Mr. Kipling. He has won his spurs
-and taken his prominent place in the arena. This, as the legitimate edition, should be
-preferred to the pirated ones by all such as care for honesty in letters.—<cite>Churchman</cite>,
-New York.</p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>PLAIN TALES FROM THE HILLS.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LIFE’S HANDICAP</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> AMY LEVY.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>REUBEN SACHS.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> M. McLENNAN.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>MUCKLE JOCK, AND OTHER STORIES.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_416'>416</span><span class='sc'>By</span> THOMAS HUGHES.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>TOM BROWN’S SCHOOLDAYS. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>RUGBY, TENNESSEE.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> ROLF BOLDREWOOD.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Mr. Boldrewood can tell what he knows with great point and vigour, and there is no
-better reading than the adventurous parts of his books.—<cite>Saturday Review.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>ROBBERY UNDER ARMS.</li>
- <li class='c008'>NEVERMORE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SYDNEY-SIDE SAXON.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> SIR HENRY CUNNINGHAM, K.C.I.E.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Interesting as specimens of romance, the style of writing is so excellent—scholarly
-and at the same time easy and natural—that the volumes are worth reading on that
-account alone. But there is also masterly description of persons, places, and things;
-skilful analysis of character; a constant play of wit and humour; and a happy gift of
-instantaneous portraiture.—<cite>St. James’s Gazette.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE CŒRULEANS: <span class='sc'>A Vacation Idyll</span>.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> GEORGE GISSING.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>We earnestly commend the book for its high literary merit, its deep bright interest,
-and for the important and healthful lessons that it teaches.—<cite>Boston Home Journal.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>DENZIL QUARRIER.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> W. CLARK RUSSELL.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>The descriptions are wonderfully realistic ... and the breath of the ocean is over
-and through every page. The plot is very novel indeed, and is developed with skill and
-tact. Altogether one of the cleverest and most entertaining of Mr. Russell’s many
-works.—<cite>Boston Times.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>A STRANGE ELOPEMENT.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By the Hon.</span> EMILY LAWLESS.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>It is a charming story, full of natural life, fresh in style and thought, pure in tone, and
-refined in feeling.—<cite>Nineteenth Century.</cite></p>
-
-<p class='c000'>A strong and original story. It is marked by originality, freshness, insight, a rare
-graphic power, and as rare a psychological perception. It is in fact a better story than
-“Hurrish,” and that is saying a good deal.—<cite>New York Tribune.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>GRANIA: <span class='sc'>The Story of an Island</span>.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_417'>417</span><span class='sc'>By</span> A NEW AUTHOR.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>We should not be surprised if this should prove to be the most popular book of the
-present season; it cannot fail to be one of the most remarkable.—<cite>Literary World.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>TIM: <span class='sc'>A Story of School Life</span>.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By</span> LANOE FALCONER.</div>
- <div class='c003'>(Author of “Mademoiselle Ixe.”)</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>It is written with cleverness and brightness, and there is so much human nature in it
-that the attention of the reader is held to the end.... The book shows far greater
-powers than were evident in “Mademoiselle Ixe,” and if the writer who is hidden behind
-the <i><span lang="fr" xml:lang="fr">nom de guerre</span></i> Lanoe Falconer goes on, she is likely to make for herself no inconsiderable
-name in fiction.—<cite>Boston Courier.</cite></p>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>CECILIA DE NOËL.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>By the Rev. Prof.</span> ALFRED J. CHURCH.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<p class='c000'>Rev. Alfred J. Church, M.A., has long been doing valiant service in literature in
-presenting his stories of the early centuries, so clear is his style and so remarkable his
-gift of enfolding historical events and personages with the fabric of a romance, entertaining
-and oftentimes fascinating.... One has the feeling that he is reading an accurate
-description of real scenes, that the characters are living—so masterly is Professor
-Church’s ability to reclothe history and make it as interesting as a romance.—<cite>Boston
-Times.</cite></p>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div><em>Just ready.</em></div>
- <div class='c003'>STORIES FROM THE</div>
- <div class='c003'>GREEK COMEDIANS.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>ARISTOPHANES.</li>
- <li class='c008'>PHILEMON.</li>
- <li class='c008'>DIPHILUS.</li>
- <li class='c008'>MENANDER.</li>
- <li class='c008'>APOLLODORUS.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div><em>With Sixteen Illustrations after the Antique.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE STORY OF THE ILIAD. With Coloured Illustrations.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE STORY OF THE ODYSSEY. With Coloured Illustrations.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE BURNING OF ROME.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='pageno' id='Page_418'>418</span>BY MISS CHARLOTTE M. YONGE.</div>
- <div class='c003'>AN OLD WOMAN’S OUTLOOK.</div>
- <div class='c003'>(<em>Just ready.</em>)</div>
- <div class='c003'>NOVELS AND TALES.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE HEIR OF REDCLYFFE. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HEARTSEASE; <span class='sc'>or, The Brother’s Wife</span>. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HOPES AND FEARS. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>DYNEVOR TERRACE. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE DAISY CHAIN. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE TRIAL: <span class='sc'>More Links of the Daisy Chain</span>. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>PILLARS OF THE HOUSE; <span class='sc'>or, Under Wode Under Rode</span>, 2 Vols. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE YOUNG STEPMOTHER. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE CLEVER WOMAN OF THE FAMILY. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE THREE BRIDES. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>MY YOUNG ALCIDES. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE CAGED LION. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE DOVE IN THE EAGLE’S NEST. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE CHAPLET OF PEARLS. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LADY HESTER, AND THE DANVERS PAPERS. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>MAGNUM BONUM. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LOVE AND LIFE. Illustrated.</li>
- <li class='c008'>UNKNOWN TO HISTORY. A Story of the Captivity of Mary of Scotland.</li>
- <li class='c008'>STRAY PEARLS. Memoirs of Margaret de Ribaumont, Viscountess of Belaise.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE ARMOURER’S ‘PRENTICES.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE TWO SIDES OF THE SHIELD.</li>
- <li class='c008'>NUTTIE’S FATHER.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SCENES AND CHARACTERS; <span class='sc'>or, Eighteen Months at Beechcroft</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>CHANTRY HOUSE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A MODERN TELEMACHUS.</li>
- <li class='c008'>BEECHCROFT AT ROCKSTONE.</li>
- <li class='c008'>WOMANKIND. A Book for Mothers and Daughters.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A REPUTED CHANGELING; <span class='sc'>or, Three Seventh Years, Two Centuries Ago</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE TWO PENNILESS PRINCESSES. A Story of the Time of James I. of Scotland.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THAT STICK.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div>MACMILLAN &amp; CO.,</div>
- <div>112 FOURTH AVENUE, NEW YORK.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<div><span class='pageno' id='Page_419'>419</span></div>
-<div class='ph2'>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c001'>
- <div>GOLDEN TREASURY SERIES.</div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
-<div class='nf-center c002'>
- <div><span class='sc'>Uniformly Printed in 18mo, with Vignette Titles Engraved on Steel.</span></div>
- <div class='c003'><em>New and Cheaper Edition. $1.00 each volume.</em></div>
- </div>
-</div>
-
-<ul class='index'>
- <li class='c008'>THE GOLDEN TREASURY OF THE BEST SONGS AND LYRICAL POEMS. By <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE CHILDREN’S GARLAND. Selected by <span class='sc'>Coventry Patmore</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE BOOK OF PRAISE. Selected by the <span class='sc'>Earl of Selborne</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE FAIRY BOOK. By the Author of “John Halifax, Gentleman.”</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE BALLAD BOOK. Edited by <span class='sc'>William Allingham</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE JEST BOOK. Selected by <span class='sc'>Mark Lemon</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>BACON’S ESSAYS. By <span class='sc'>W. Aldis Wright</span>, M.A.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE PILGRIM’S PROGRESS. By <span class='sc'>John Bunyan</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE SUNDAY BOOK OF POETRY. Selected by <span class='sc'>C. F. Alexander</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A BOOK OF GOLDEN DEEDS. By the Author of “The Heir of Redclyffe.”</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE ADVENTURES OF ROBINSON CRUSOE. Edited by <span class='sc'>J. W. Clark</span>, M.A.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE REPUBLIC OF PLATO. Translated by <span class='sc'>J.Ll. Davies</span>, M.A., and <span class='sc'>D. J. Vaughan</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE SONG BOOK. Words and Tunes selected by <span class='sc'>John Hullah</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LA LYRE FRANÇAISE. Selected, with Notes, by <span class='sc'>G. Masson</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>TOM BROWN’S SCHOOL DAYS. By <span class='sc'>An Old Boy</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>A BOOK OF WORTHIES. Written anew by the Author of “The Heir of Redclyffe.”</li>
- <li class='c008'>GUESSES AT TRUTH. By <span class='sc'>Two Brothers</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE CAVALIER AND HIS LADY.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SCOTTISH SONG. Compiled by <span class='sc'>Mary Carlyle Aitken</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>DEUTSCHE LYRIK. Selected by Dr. <span class='sc'>Buchheim</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>CHRYSOMELA. A Selection from the Lyrical Poems of Robert Herrick. Arranged by <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
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- <li class='c008'>THE STORY OF THE CHRISTIANS AND MOORS IN SPAIN. By <span class='sc'>Charlotte M. Yonge</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LAMB’S TALES FROM SHAKESPEARE. Edited by the Rev. <span class='sc'>A. Ainger</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'><span class='pageno' id='Page_420'>420</span>SHAKESPEARE’S SONGS AND SONNETS. Edited, with Notes, by <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>POEMS OF WORDSWORTH. Chosen and Edited by <span class='sc'>Matthew Arnold</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>POEMS OF SHELLEY. Edited by <span class='sc'>Stopford A. Brooke</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE ESSAYS OF JOSEPH ADDISON. Chosen and Edited by <span class='sc'>John Richard Green</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>POETRY OF BYRON. Chosen and Arranged by <span class='sc'>Matthew Arnold</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SIR THOMAS BROWNE’S RELIGIO MEDICI, ETC. Edited by <span class='sc'>W. A. Greenhill</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE SPEECHES AND TABLE-TALK OF THE PROPHET MOHAMMED. Chosen and Translated by <span class='sc'>Stanley Lane Poole</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SELECTIONS FROM THE WRITINGS OF WALTER SAVAGE LANDOR. Edited by <span class='sc'>Sidney Colvin</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>SELECTIONS FROM COWPER’S POEMS. With an Introduction by <span class='sc'>Mrs. Oliphant</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LETTERS OF WILLIAM COWPER. Edited by Rev. <span class='sc'>W. Benham</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE POETICAL WORKS OF JOHN KEATS. Edited by <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE TRIAL AND DEATH OF SOCRATES. Translated into English by <span class='sc'>E. J. Church</span>, M.A.</li>
- <li class='c008'>CHILDREN’S TREASURY OF ENGLISH SONG. Edited by <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>IN MEMORIAM.</li>
- <li class='c008'>TENNYSON’S LYRICAL POEMS. Edited by <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>PLATO, PHÆDRUS, LYSIS, AND PROTAGORAS. Translated by Rev. <span class='sc'>J. Wright</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THEOCRITUS, BION, AND MOSCHUS. In English Prose. By <span class='sc'>Andrew Lang</span>, M.A.</li>
- <li class='c008'>BALLADEN UND ROMANZEN. Edited by <span class='sc'>C. A. Buchheim</span>, Ph.D.</li>
- <li class='c008'>LYRIC LOVE. Edited by <span class='sc'>William Watson</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>HYMNS AND OTHER POEMS. By <span class='sc'>F. T. Palgrave</span>.</li>
- <li class='c008'>THE ART OF WORLDLY WISDOM. <span class='sc'>Balthasas Gracian</span>.</li>
-</ul>
-
-<div class='nf-center-c1'>
- <div class='nf-center'>
- <div>MACMILLAN &amp; CO.,</div>
- <div>112 FOURTH AVENUE, NEW YORK.</div>
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-<div class='pbb'>
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-<div class='tnotes'>
-
-<div class='chapter'>
- <h2 class='c005'>TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES</h2>
-</div>
- <ol class='ol_1 c002'>
- <li>Added “the” between “spend” and “best” on p. <a href='#t342'>342</a>.
-
- </li>
- <li>Silently corrected typographical errors.
-
- </li>
- <li>Retained anachronistic and non-standard spellings as printed.
- </li>
- </ol>
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-<pre>
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