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A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience and Portable Guardian against the World, the Flesh and the Devil, by Nathan Dane Urner.--a Project Gutenberg eBook - </title> - <style type="text/css"> - -a { - text-decoration: none} - -.uppercase { - text-transform: uppercase} - -small { - font-style: normal; - font-size: small} - -#coverpage { - text-align: center; - max-width: 600px; - margin: 2em auto} - -body { - padding: 4px; - margin: auto 10%} - -p { - text-align: justify} - -.small { - font-size: small} - -.medium { - font-size: medium} - -.large { - font-size: large} - -.x-large { - font-size: x-large} - -.i4 { - text-indent: 2em} - -h1, h2, .ph1 { - page-break-before: always} - -h1, h2, h3 { - font-weight: normal; - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; - margin: 2em auto 1em auto} - -.ph1 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; - font-weight: normal; - font-size: xx-large; - margin: 2em auto 1em auto} - -.hang { - text-indent: -2em; - padding-left: 2em} - -p.drop:first-letter { - float: left; - clear: left; - font-family: "Times New Roman", Times, serif; - font-size: 300%; - line-height: 70%; - padding: 4px 2px 0 0} - -/* Tables */ -.table { - display: table; - margin: auto} - -table { - margin: 2em auto} - -th { - padding: 5px} - -td { - text-indent: -2em; - padding-left: 2.5em; - padding-right: 0.5em} - -.tdr { - text-align: right} -/* End Tables */ - -.copy { - font-size: small; - text-align: center} - -.smcap { - font-style: normal; - font-variant: small-caps} - -.caption { - text-align: center} - -/* Images */ -img { - border: none; - max-width: 100%} - -.figcenter { - clear: both; - margin: 2em auto; - text-align: center; - max-width: 600px} - -.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ - /* visibility: hidden; */ - color: #004200; - position: absolute; - right: 5px; - font-style: normal; - font-weight: normal; - font-size: small; - text-align: right; -} /* page numbers */ - -/* Transcriber's notes */ -.transnote { - background-color: #E6E6FA; - border: #004200 double 4px; - color: black; - margin: 2em auto; - padding: 1em} - -@media handheld { -p.drop:first-letter { - float: left; - clear: left} -} - -/* Poetry */ - -.poetry { - margin: auto; - text-align: center} - -.poem { - margin: auto; - display: inline-block; - text-align: left} - -.poem .stanza { - margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em} - .poem span.i0 {display: block; margin-left: 0em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} - .poem span.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 1em; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stop!, by Nathan Dean Urner - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: Stop! - A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience and Portable Guardian - against the World, the Flesh and the Devil - -Author: Nathan Dean Urner - -Release Date: November 3, 2016 [EBook #53443] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STOP! *** - - - - -Produced by Anita Hammond, Wayne Hammond and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - -<div class="figcenter"> -<img id="coverpage" src="images/cover.jpg" alt="" /> -</div> - -<h1> -Stop!<br /> - -<span class="large table"><i>A Handy Monitor and<br /> -Pocket Conscience.</i></span><br /> - -<span class="large">THE NEW “COLTON’S LACON.”</span><br /> - -<span class="medium">By Author of NEVER and ALWAYS.</span> -</h1> - -<p class="ph1"> -<span class="x-large">MRS. MARY J. HOLMES’ NOVELS</span><br /> - -<span class="large">Over a MILLION Sold</span><br /> - -<span class="large">THE NEW BOOK</span><br /> - -Queenie Hetherton<br /> - -<span class="large"><i>JUST OUT</i>.</span><br /> - -<span class="large gesperrt">For Sale Everywhere</span><br /> - -<span class="large">Price, $1.50.</span><br /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">1</span></p> - -<div class="ph1"> -STOP!<br /> - -<span class="x-large table"><i>A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience<br /> -and Portable Guardian<br /> -against the World,<br /> -the Flesh and the<br /> -Devil.</i></span><br /> - -<p class="medium table">“Stop! To pause, knock off, let up, cheese it, switch off, give -it a rest, cut short, stand like a rock, kick against, shut down, bring up -with a round turn, hold hard,” etc.—<span class="smcap">Thesaurus</span>.</p> - -<p class="medium">“What would you, sir? I pray you <i>stop</i>, nor yield a hair to vicious -promptings!”—<span class="smcap">Moliere</span>.</p> - -<span class="large smcap">By MENTOR.</span><br /> -<span class="medium">AUTHOR OF “NEVER” AND “ALWAYS.”</span><br /> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/colophon.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<span class="copy table">NEW YORK:<br /> -COPYRIGHT, 1884, BY<br /> -<i>G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers</i>.<br /> -LONDON: S. LOW & CO.<br /> -MDCCCLXXXIV.</span> -</div> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">2</span></p> - -<p class="copy"> -Stereotyped by<br /> -<span class="smcap">Samuel Stodder,<br /> -42 Dey Street, N. Y.</span><br /> -</p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">3</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i005.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - - -<h2 id="Introduction"><i>Introduction.</i></h2> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/tb.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<p class="drop"><i><span class="uppercase">The</span> pining need of a work of this kind—an -instructive sharpener in book-form, as it -were, of the moral faculty—has long been so -seriously felt that the author eagerly hastens to -supply it.</i></p> - -<p><i>In</i> “<span class="smcap">Never</span>” <i>and</i> “<span class="smcap">Always</span>,” <i>his appeal -was rather to the externalities of life. In</i> -“<span class="smcap">Stop</span>,” <i>his aim is to regulate the very springs -of impulse, deliberation and resolve. In other</i> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">4</span> -<i>words, there is not a temptation that he would -not strip of its disguise, not an unworthy motive -that he would not pulverize as with a corrective -club, not a misleading conceit that he would -not skewer to its squirming source.</i></p> - -<p><i>Although the pearls of thought and monitory -gems herewith presented are intended mainly for -young men just entering upon the great work of -life, there is neither man nor maid, stripling nor -patriarch, saphead nor sage who may not scramble -for them with avidity, and glory in their possession.</i></p> - -<p><i>Young man, are you hesitating in the choice -of a vocation? A reference to the admonitions -under this head in</i> “<span class="smcap">Stop</span>” <i>may be the means of -your becoming a Millionaire, a Police Magistrate</i> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">5</span> -<i>or an ornament to society. Are you in love, or -willing to be? A consultation of the advice at -your command may place you in such hobnobbing, -soul-wedded relations with the rosy god as shall -cause you to charm, to captivate, and finally to -wrest the rapt, responsive throb from Beauty’s -battlemented heart. Are you a driveling idiot -in money matters? Imbibe, and be wise. And -so on, through all the departments of existence.</i></p> - -<p><i>Thus, panoplied, as it were, against the -World, the Flesh and the Devil, you might eventually, -in an agony of gratitude and wonderment, -eulogize the author in the significant words of -Hamlet, slightly altered, to the following effect:</i></p> - -<p><i>“’Sblood! he plays on me easier than on a -pipe! He would seem to know my</i> <span class="smcap">Stops</span>; <i>he</i> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">6</span> -<i>would pluck out the heart of my mystery; he -would sound me from my lowest notes to the top -of my compass; there is so much music, excellent -voice and incomparable counsel in this little -book!”</i></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i008.jpg" alt="" /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">7</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i009.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="Contents"><i>Contents.</i></h2> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/tb.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<table> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Choosing_a_Vocation">In Choosing a Vocation</a></td> - <td class="tdr">9</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_General_Deportment">In General Deportment</a></td> - <td class="tdr">19</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Love_Affairs">In Love Affairs</a></td> - <td class="tdr">27</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Money_Matters">In Money Matters</a></td> - <td class="tdr">39</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Guarding_Against_Bad">In Guarding Against Bad Habits</a></td> - <td class="tdr">48</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Judging_Others">In Judging Others</a></td> - <td class="tdr">55</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Recreation">In Recreations</a></td> - <td class="tdr">64</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_The_Domestic_Relations">In the Domestic Relations</a></td> - <td class="tdr">73</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Business_Life">In Business Life</a></td> - <td class="tdr">84</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td><a href="#In_Thought_Word_and">In Thought, Word and Deed</a></td> - <td class="tdr">91</td> - </tr> -</table> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">8</span></p> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">9</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i011.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<p class="ph1">Stop!</p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/tb.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Choosing_a_Vocation">In Choosing a Vocation.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop, first, and reflect what you are fit -for. To rush recklessly into an occupation -of which you are as ignorant as -a horse is of music, is not to be thought -of.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, next, and consider if what you have -in view is respectable. Or, if too much -of an ass to distinguish between banking -and bunco, for instance, read up -carefully on horse-sense. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">10</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, again, and be sure that your choice -is in keeping with your capacity. To -essay one of the learned professions if -wholly uneducated, speculative pursuits -if a natural born fool, or hod-carrying -if lily-handed, spindle-propped -and wasp-waisted, is hardly a proof of -intellectuality.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, your career being chosen, to master -its rudiments before essaying its higher -walks. Rome was not built in a day, -nor is any vocation a spring-board to -waft you into the empyrean at the -primary bounce.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop long enough to master the rule of -“addition, division and silence,” if seeking -political preferrment, or employment -as a confidential clerk.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop long enough in one vocation to give -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">11</span> -it a fair trial. Jacks-of-all-trades—men -who are studying law in the morning, -counter-hopping after dinner, peddling -soap to-day, starting a bank to-morrow—are -seldom successful.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and ponder deeply, before becoming -that pitiable object, a professional office-seeker. -Rather sink your independence -of thought and action at once by marrying -for money, or toadying upon a -rich relative.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if a lawyer’s office-boy, before intruding -your legal views upon your employer’s -graver consultations. Think! -Should you excite his professional envy -at the outset?</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if beginning as a dry-goods clerk, -before imagining yourself a silent partner -in the concern, with your four dollars -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">12</span> -a week as its chief investment. -Self-respect is one thing, unmitigated, -idiotic asininity another.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if at the tape-and-shoestrings counter, -before aspiring to the glittering -generalities of the ribbons and laces, or -the grave responsibilities of the white-goods -department. The cares of these -high functions may surpass your conception, -and we must creep before we -climb.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before entering the ministry, if without -religious convictions, a sacrilegious -scoffer, and morally depraved.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the ragged edge of the fallacy -that your place, or any man’s cannot be -filled by another. When men die, as -they all must, are their places not always -filled? -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">13</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the brink of blatant, unaccredited, -irresponsible quackery in anything, but -especially if desirous of becoming a -disciple of Hippocrates.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if contemplating a banking career, -and inquire if you have a mathematical -mind and attainments. A vague acquaintance -with the rule of three, together -with a mouth-watering desire for -colossal wealth, cannot alone enable -you to rival the wizards of finance.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before setting up on your own account, -unless thoroughly in earnest. -Even a peanut-stand may be dignified -by business energy and perseverance.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short, bring up with a round turn, at -any inducement, however dazzling, that -is not strictly honest. You can better -afford to be mediocre than obnoxious. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">14</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and consider well, before taking up -a patent lightning-rod. Agents are already -numerous, and farmers’ dogs on -the alert.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, before joining the army of commercial -drummers, and be sure that you -possess three qualifications in a superlative -degree, <i>i.e.</i>: cheek, pertinacity and -the gift of gab.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, should you become a drummer, at -the nineteenth lie in support of one line -of goods. Mendacity hath its limits, -and even the credulity of a yokel may -be gorged.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the giddy verge of over-estimate -in any business. “Hope,” says <i>Lacon</i>, -“is a prodigal young heir, and experience -is his banker; but his drafts are -seldom honored, because he draws -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">15</span> -largely on a small capital, is not yet in -possession, and if he were, would <i>die</i>.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, indignantly repel, all inducements -on the part of advertising sharks. Their -name is legion, and they seek but to -devour.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, howsoever tempted, at the allurements -of roguery, embezzlement, rascality, -and satanic suggestions of every -description. If you must be a cutpurse -let it be on the broad highway, pistol -in hand, dime-novel at heart, and the -gallows in sight.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if contemplating a political career, -and distinctly settle this question in -your mind: Am I to boss the party, or -is the party to boss me? There is -nothing like avoiding a confusion of -ideas. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">16</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, next, and be certain that your ambition -is not o’erleaping its aim. Pluck -bright honor from the pale-faced moon, -if possible, but to make a dead set for -the Presidency and bring up as a police-court -janitor, or coroner’s assistant, is -apt to prove discouraging.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, even if rich, before entering upon -pleasure as a business. Few constitutions -can long stand the racket, <i>ennui</i> -is the result, and premature death its -bourne.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before entering the literary profession, -if devoid of imagination, a proverbial -fool, and with but a lazy comprehension -of orthography, grammar and -syntax.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, next, and ask yourself, what great -author, dead or living, shall I emulate? -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">17</span> -Then, be your model Shakespeare or -Bartley Campbell, Thackeray or Tupper, -Byron or the <i>Burlington Hawkeye</i>, -stick to your ideal, revel in ink and -starve for glory.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if of a dramatic turn, before absolutely -forcing a manager to produce -your play. There are, unfortunately, -legal safeguards for even this species of -credulous, unsophisticated, professionals.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and reflect profoundly, before -adopting pugilism as a vocation, if constitutionally -weak in the back, color-blind, -short-winded, and timid to pusillanimity.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before deciding upon a histrionic -career, until satisfied that you are not -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">18</span> -better fitted for an auction-room or a -junk-shop.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in any calling, long enough to become -familiar with the foot of the ladder -before clawing ineffectually at the -top-round. Beginning at the top, to -come down with a rush, is reserved for -millionaires’ sons, holders of winning -lottery-tickets and cat’s-paws of nominating -conventions.</p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i020.jpg" alt="" /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">19</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i021.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_General_Deportment">In General Deportment.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop at the assumption of a supercilious, -ducal air, especially if small of stature, -monkey-brained and impecunious. This -is solely the privilege of floor-walkers, -brained midgets and actresses’ husbands.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, if tall and commanding, -before cultivating a creeping, -crushed demeanor, unless you are a colporteur -or dog-stealer.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the brink of wholly disregarding -the prevailing fashions. Knee-breeches, -shoe-buckles, a powdered wig, and a -swallow-tailed coat, with the waist-buttons -between the shoulder-blades, would -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">20</span> -stamp you as an eccentric at the present -day.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before despising the requirements of -the seasons. A straw-hat in a snow-storm, -for instance, would excite remark.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop when vanity counsels an excess of -ornament. To exhibit a jewel or two -with judgment is one thing, to groan -under a clanking avoirdupois of gauds -and trinkets another.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop at the claims of both a cadaverous -gravity and a causeless facetiousness of -demeanor. Neither the belfry owl nor -the proverbial basket of chips should be -your model in this regard.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of unnecessary violence -in word and deed. Resent, if you must, -without preliminary roaring. The deadly -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">21</span> -submarine torpedo is terrible in its -explosion, but less noisy than the harmless -bursting of an inflated paper-bag.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before criticising what you do not -understand. The bore indulging in -this species of idiocy is deserving of an -enforced association with numerous -mothers-in-law in a whisper-gallery.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, indeed, snap your jaws to like a -spring-trap, at the very suggestion of -an oath or low expression. “Profanity,” -says <i>Lacon</i>, “never yet dignified -wrath nor emphasized a great purpose.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before indulging in covert sneers. -Indeed, “a good, mouth-filling oath” is -preferable, because less hypocritical, -but an ungarnished assertion is better -than either.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before meanly insinuating what -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">22</span> -should be plainly spoken. Even if a -man owes you money, which you think -he ought to pay, tell him so, or ask for -an explanation, instead of conveying -your meaning through an allusion to -his current expense or new clothes. -This is the course of a sneak and a -coward.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and bewail the abolition of -imprisonment for debt, or tell him that -he ought to live cheaply and go in rags -until he liquidates.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before assuming a rasping, file-edged, -whip-in-hand demeanor toward your dependents -or inferiors. Apart from its -villainously bad taste, the whirligig of -time may bring about a transposition of -relations, and then where are you?</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, ere adopting a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">23</span> -groveling, sycophantic, ultra-ingratiating -manner with your superiors. “The -flavor that can only be won by fawning -servility is seldom of great worth.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before persisting in a style of laugh -that can betray your motives to your -disadvantage. The “He, he, he!” of -hypocrisy is as patent as the “Haw, -haw, haw!” of the windbag.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop at an unwarranted ostentation of -speech and bearing. The dung-hill -bird is distinguished quite as much by -his strut as by his vociferousness.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in addressing a woman, and consider -the privilege of her sex, even if she may -have aggrieved you.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, before over-whelming -her with an excess of courtesy. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">24</span> -Over-attentiveness to women always inspires -a suspicion as to its motive.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before retailing a scandal, even if -convinced of its truth. This is the province -of the incorrigible gossip and the -newspaper reporter, with neither of -whom you can hope to cope.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the threshold of a temptation to -distort the truth. Plausibility in lying -is an art in which but few can earn distinction.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before disputing a fact, however distasteful, -that can be proved by statistical -evidence. Figures are not apt to -lie, save on gas-metres.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before adhering to an error through -a mistaken sense of shame. “Who acknowledgeth -his error showeth an increase -of wisdom; who stubbornly adhereth -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">25</span> -to what hath been disproved confesseth -himself a fool.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of the conceit that irresistibility -with the fair sex depends on good-looks -alone. The manners make the -man.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before aping the characteristics of another, -however exalted. The gesticulations -of the Frenchman would be unseemly -in the staid Hidalgo, and that -which would be a pleasing originality -in one might be a preposterous parody -in the imitator.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of the notion that wiseacre -looks and frigidity of manner will always -be indicative of reserved force and intellectual -acumen. The owl is the -solemnest and likewise the stupidest of -birds. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">26</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, whenever in moral doubt or distress, -and consult the masterly advice and -sage promptings of this jewel of a book. -It shall be unto you “as rivers of water -in a dry place, or the shadow of a great -rock in a weary land.”</p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i028.jpg" alt="" /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">27</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i029.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Love_Affairs">In Love Affairs.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop!—That burning thought—that delirium -in thy heart—as to the lovely -being whose image is before thee night -and day—is it such as her modesty and -virtue, her seraphic guilelessness should -inspire? if not, away with it—blot it -out!</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop! Was she rather plain than peerless, -and is it the thought of her father’s -bonds and shekels that now summons -the enamored hectic to thy virile cheek? -Away with it, likewise, and for shame! -Shall blood with boodle blend—emotion -cringe at Mammon’s beck—and Love -be unavenged? -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">28</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop! Stay yet again thy headlong -plunge! Was she yet lovely, an houri -of a dream, but still beneath thee in -family, station, fortune, and didst therefore -smile but to deceive? If so, hold -hard, hug this sweet volume to thy -heart of hearts, and sin no more!</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and meditate upon the three foregoing -paragraphs, for in them are embodied -the cardinal principles in making -love: Purity of purpose, Disinterestedness -and Truth.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop for some encouragement before -rendering your attentions universally -conspicuous. A glance of the eye, a -tremor of the lip, the merest shadow of -a blush upon the seashell-tinted cheek, -will suffice.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if such subtle signs are wanting or -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">29</span> -withheld, and plan some deep-laid -scheme to unveil heart’s predilection, -indifference, or dislike. Oysters and -ice-cream are still available in their respective -seasons.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before mistaking a passing fancy for -a wild, consuming maddening, over-mastering, -star-jostling passion. This -mistake has evoked more paternal -walking-sticks and breach-of-promise -suits than would keep a French novelist -in subject-matter for a twelvemonth.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, after falling head over ears in love, -to collect your senses and formulate -your plans. An inconsiderate, maniacal -rush into a declaration is often repented -at leisure.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if not certain of your ground, before -wholly unmasking your batteries. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">30</span> -Delicate attentions, even worshiping, -awe-struck glances from afar, are time-old -preliminaries, but none the less -effective.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, on the threshold of feverish -demonstration at the outset. Furnace-like -sighs, dazed, dumb-founded -looks, like those of an expiring calf, and -frenzied bodily contortions may be -brought to bear in their own good -time.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of opposing her tastes and convictions. -To gently chime with them, -whether you have any of your own or -not, while preserving a vigorous masculinity -in favor of quail-gorging, head-punching -and kindred noble sports, is -in the main commendable.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before vaunting a wild, atheistical -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">31</span> -or Ingersollian contempt for all things -sacred, if she should be of a deeply religious -turn. However, this is not to -prescribe a regular biblical course, a -very little of which goes a great way in -the wooing o’t.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before disclaiming all love for music, -or suggesting the banjo or bagpipe as -your favorite instrument, should she -dote on the opera, sing divinely and be -a piano-pounder of no mean ability in -her own person.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before depreciating anything the -dear creature does, or tries to do. -Eagerly demand another song, even if -the screech of her first has ruined your -tympanum, call her verses divine, if -they are no better than Tennyson’s -latest senility, swear that her favorite -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">32</span> -scent is yours, even if ’tis musk or garlic, -and build, build as with a wand, the -shining edifice of love!</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop right off at the idea that there may -be anything hypocritical or insincere -advised in the foregoing paragraph. -If really in love, you will religiously -believe everything you tell her, and more -too.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, first, however, and study the character -of your enchantress. All women -are no more to be wooed alike than -are all fish to be tempted with the same -kind of bait.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before addressing a brainy, well-read -penetrative divinity as you would a -laughing elf, a careless, careless fay, a -butterfly of mirth and joy. An Hypatia -is not a Hebe, and reflect! Would -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">33</span> -you tempt an eagle with a moth-light, -or a striped-bass with an eel-bob?</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if she be intellectual, and study up -to an equality with her tastes, should -you be her inferior. Then scientific -discussions, with poetry as a side-dish, -may gradually lead up to the delicious -desideratum of two hearts that beat as -one.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, at the error of preferring -her intellectual to her physical charms. -She is a lovely liar if she pretends to a -desire for such preference, and your sin -will be unpardonable, should you take -her at her word.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in any case, before praising another -woman’s good-looks in the adored one’s -presence. In fact, you can afford her -no pleasanter flattery than by a systematic -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">34</span> -depreciation of a prettier woman’s -charms.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if she be a Hebe, we will say, and -plunge recklessly amid her paucity of -ideas. Flounder in folly, palpitate with -persiflage, at her giggling beck; and -here is ample opportunity for the silent -eloquence of the nosegay, the oyster, or -the iced refreshment, not less than for -the princely prodigality of the opera, -the midnight coupe and the church fair -lottery.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of any display of fear in her -presence, even if you are timorous to -the core. Let her do the shrieking at -the onset of a mouse, but stand you as -the rugged rock, the beaten anvil, or -the rooted oak! You might even trample -out a croton-bug occasionally, with -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">35</span> -a cold, feelingless laugh. Imperturbability -in peril was never yet a masculine -fault in gentle woman’s eyes.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before incurring the dislike of the -fair one’s little brothers or sisters. The -malapert maliciousness of <i>l’enfant terrible</i> -may occasion mortifications without -number.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before losing your temper with a -rival in your charmer’s presence. If -you must come to blows, let it be in a -retired spot, but it were far better to -sit him out, beat him on bouquets, gum -drops and theatre-tickets, or otherwise -defeat him in the rosy lists.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop at the one thousandth kiss, after -receiving the coveted “Yes” from the -adored one’s lips. Byron, it is true, in -one of his callow effusions, counsels a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">36</span> -million, but, as a conscientious Mentor, -we prefer to draw the line somewhere -even in such an emotional proceeding.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, discontinue the siege altogether, in -case of a downright rejection, howsoever -reluctant, howsoever tearful. -Don’t put up with the sisterly substitute, -either; but just float out grandly -on the ebb-tide of broken hopes, until -brighter eyes a welcome shine to solace -and to cheer.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before imagining, if accepted, that -your ordeal is now nearly at an end. -Why, gentle sir, it hath just begun. -You are now owned.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short at the idea that even your -former devotion is still in order. If it -was a bouquet or two per week before, -it is now a cart-load per day; your male -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">37</span> -familiars must sigh for you in vain—your -off-nights are things of the past; -you are on exhibition, not only to your -<i>fiancée’s</i> family, but to the world at -large; you are an engaged man!</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of suicidal despair as a -result of your first lovers’ quarrel. This -is but the pepper-sauce of passion, the -curry of courtship, the horse-radish of -happiness, without which that crowning -reflection, the kiss-gilt, teardrop-rainbowed -making-up were banished forever -from Love’s golden feast!</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in a general way, before making -love for the fun of the thing. There is -no meaner, more reptilian creature in -society than the professional male -flirt.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before yielding an iota to the allurements -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">38</span> -of a notorious coquette. Heartlessness -is her dower, emotional misery -her delight, falseness her stock in trade, -and the ashen Dead Sea fruit the only -reward in her power, even if she love at -last.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before permitting your admiration of -an actress, or ballet dancer, to glide -into a master passion. Disenchantment, -if desired, is mostly within easy reach, -and you can console yourself with the -reflection that there is far more beauty -off the stage than on it.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of making love at all, if you -are not of an affectionate disposition; -or, when too late—that is, when married, -love will be likely to stop short of -you. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">39</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i041.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Money_Matters">In Money Matters.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop, first, and understand the value of -money—the importance of never being -without <i>some</i> money, even if a very -little.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, next, and understand that money is -nothing in itself alone, but valuable and -powerful only in what it will purchase -and <i>can</i> purchase. A pure love of it -for itself, and not for what it represents, -develops a loathsome disease—the disease -of miserliness.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of envying the rich, even if -penniless yourself. A philosophical -reflection as to the causes of your bad -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">40</span> -fortune, together with a resolve to mend -it by a more enlightened course, is your -only remedy.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, yet shorter of the vulgar, -pigheaded notion that money, even by -the ton-weight, can be everything without -moral or intellectual backing. If -this were so, wealth would be more -glorious than wisdom, which happily, it -is not.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before parting with money, even to -an insignificant amount, without some -sort of equivalent. This rule need not -render you either parsimonious or -uncharitable, since even alms-giving -brings a return in the consciousness of -having yielded to a kindly impulse.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating a hoarding spirit, -and remember that, logically, as between -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">41</span> -the miser and the spendthrift, the latter -has the best of the bargain. For, while -the spendthrift has the selfish satisfaction -of squandering his fortune in his -own person, the miser is the dupe of -his own self-denial, for the benefit of -others who come after him.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, before emulating the -spendthrift any more than the miser. -If there is never any love for the -scheming parsimony of the one, neither -is there ever any gratitude for the -thoughtless largesse of the other.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and reflect well, before borrowing -money under any circumstances. To -an honest man, indebtedness is ever a -double torture—self-torture in the -haunting possibility of not being able -to keep his word, and the torture of -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">42</span> -imagining what, in that case, will be -thought of him.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, dead, before borrowing money that -you are not sure of being able to repay. -As for the man who borrows without -the <i>intention</i> to repay, he is even worse -than a professional thief, and as fully -deserving of social ostracism.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before becoming that unmitigated -bore, a chronic borrower. He is at best -a pitiful creature, shunned even when -commiserated, and the strongest ties of -friendship cannot long withstand the -wrench of his proximity.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, even before lending money to a -friend, and reflect that non-liquidation -must cost you your money, and <i>may</i> -cost you—your friend.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, if you mean to grant a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">43</span> -request for a loan, and grant it freely. -To produce it as if extracting a wisdom-tooth, -or accompany it with a stereotyped -moral lecture on the hardness of -the times, etc., is much like placing his -request on a level with mendicancy.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short—indeed, as abruptly as you -please—of lending money to a known -profligate or spendthrift. The proverbial -blood from a turnip may be -sooner expected than genuine thankfulness -for an accommodation from such a -source, and the probability is that he -will secretly laugh at you for a fool.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, and reflect well before -adopting a general and irrevocable rule -of never lending money under any circumstances. -Many eminent men, the -reverse of hard-hearted, have conscientiously -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">44</span> -adopted this rule, but whether -it is the best, as the world goes, is a -question.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before compromising with such a -rule by offering as a gift that which is -entreated as a loan. This is the course -usually pursued by the eminent men -alluded to above; but such a proffer is -always humiliating, and often insulting.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before running in debt, even for -groceries or beer, for that for which you -can pay on the spot. It is a pernicious -habit that must steadily engender looser -and looser notions about money matters.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before adopting honesty as your -standard merely on the immorally aphoristic -grounds of its being the best -policy. True integrity should stand on -its merits, win or lose; whereas any -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">45</span> -shrewd rascal would be honest on occasion, -if satisfied that he would <i>make</i> by -it.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and fortify your uprightness -on the broad grounds, “that <i>honesty is -not only the deepest policy, but the highest -wisdom</i>; since however difficult it may -be for integrity to get on, it is a thousand -times more difficult for knavery to -<i>get off</i>.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating an inordinate desire -to get rich in haste. In ninety-nine -cases out of a hundred it will develop -into a species of frenzy that must over-reach -and defeat its aims.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and understand that in speculation, -the prizes of the few are only -rendered possible by the ruin of the -many. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">46</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before setting up financial comets—that -is suddenly-rich men—as your exemplars. -The exceptional boldness, -or unscrupulousness which constituted -their <i>open sesame</i> to dazzling fortune, -may but fling wide, for the mediocre -imitator, the doors of poverty or of the -state prison.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop when you have achieved a comfortable -competence, and devote yourself -to the rational enjoyment thereof. To -be stacking up dollars and securities to -the last gasp is worse than making a -hell on earth; since it is a perversity so -obtuse as to imagine that as heaven -which is in truth a hell.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and remember, that the accumulation -of wealth, as a sole pursuit, is a -diseased passion, just as much as is the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">47</span> -craving for strong drink, or for the excitement -of gambling.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, therefore, in the headlong race for -money, and so intersperse that pursuit -with knowledge and unselfish deeds, -with moral and intellectual recreations, -as shall render it the chief means, rather -than the chief end, of a useful existence.</p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i049.jpg" alt="" /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">48</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i050.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Guarding_Against_Bad">In Guarding Against Bad -Habits.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating an inordinate self-conceit, -and remember that real worth is -mostly modest, while those persons are -the vainest who have the least to be -vain of.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before contracting a habit of exaggeration. -This is the stock-in-trade -of the cheap penny-a-liner, while the -strength of the true historian lies in -conscientious statement.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of fancying that such exaggeration -can impress others with your imaginative -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">49</span> -powers. Were this true, the -grimaces of a baboon might be ascribed -to emotional fine frenzy.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before contracting the habit of lying, -even in a harmless way. But this -fault is as naturally the outgrowth of -extravagance or looseness of statement, -as is the noxious weed of the miscellaneous -muck that stimulates it into -useless being.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of listlessness in word, look -and deed. A perfunctory person is -never in demand, and Rip Van Winkle -only indemnified society in sleeping out -his twenty years.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and do nothing, rather than procrastinate -indefinitely. Untrustworthiness -is the final result of procrastination, -and a reputation for that is tantamount -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">50</span> -to elimination from the world’s -employment.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop far short of any indulgence that can -affect your general reputation. “The -two most precious things this side the -grave,” says <i>Lacon</i>, “are our reputation -and our life; the most contemptible -whisper may deprive us of the one, the -weakest weapon of the other.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop the use of tobacco, if addicted to it, -but especially in the form of chewing, -the vileness of this practice is in no wise -mitigated by its prevalence.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop smoking, also, at its first threatened -inroad upon the general health. To -persist in it thereafter is a confession of -both moral and mental weakness.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the threshold of gambling of -every description, and, if already in the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">51</span> -toils, shut down on the practice with all -the ponderosity at your command.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, moreover, and understand that -gambling—the worship of chance—is -death to the soul, to faith in human -nature, to man’s nobler attributes. In -this regard, it is more literally demoralizing -than alcoholic drunkenness; and -there is yet to be found the veteran -professional gambler who is not a materialistic -atheist.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, once more, and remember that every -man who will play cards for money, will -in time, cheat. He may set out honestly -enough, but it is only a question of time -before he will take an unfair advantage -in <i>self-defense</i>. What, then, can be -thought of a practice that almost necessitates -dishonesty? -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">52</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop—hold! That “D—n!” upon thy -lips! Would not “Confound it!” “The -deuce take it!” or simply “Bless me!” -emphasize resentment or annoyance -equally well? Or, still better, is there -any need for emphasis at all?</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, above all, before falling into the -profane habit, upon no provocation. A -passionless, half-conscious interlarding -of speech with oaths and epithets is as -idiotic as it is disgusting.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of becoming anecdotal -to excess. Second only to the confirmed -scandal-bearer is the friend whose -encounter one must dodge for fear of -being made the repository of some long-winded -anecdote, or pointless pun.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of narrating indecent stories. -Unfortunately, nearly all stories of much -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">53</span> -point that are interchanged among men -are of this description; <i>ergo</i>, eschew the -retailing of them, on your own part, -altogether.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before becoming the slave of any depraved -appetite. To take the appetite -for strong drink as an illustration, it -is a terrible enchantress—siren, bacchante, -or task-mistress, at will. One -can seldom coquette with but he marries -her at last; when, like the Lamia of -the legend, she turns to a serpent in the -embrace, and her dalliance is despair -and death.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before contracting a habit of belittling -or sneering at what you do not -understand. This is but the pasteboard -buckler with which the fool would shield -his self-love. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">54</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before habitually ascribing mean or -sordid motives to others upon mere -conjecture.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of any habit that can fruitlessly -waste one’s time or substance, since the -one is more than money, because, once -dissipated, it can never be replaced, and -the other is the very means of life.</p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i056.jpg" alt="" /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">55</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i057.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Judging_Others">In Judging Others.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop before gauging a person’s capacity -solely by his physiognomy. Lafayette’s -forehead suggested idiocy, Keats, the -poet, had the jaws of a prize-fighter, -and warriors of the Salvation Army -have been mistaken (before opening -their mouths) for men of intelligence.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, before judging people altogether -on antithetic grounds. To -invariably accept a monkey-jawed, rat-eyed, -ear-shadowed countenance as a -criterion for mental profundity, for -instance, or crime-sodden, sin-exhaling -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">56</span> -bulldog traits as suggestive of ethical -culture or religious zeal, is hardly to be -recommended.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before judging others, especially -men, wholly by their dress and manners. -A millionaire may be “shabby-genteel” -and retiring to excess, whereas professional -scoundrels are often notorious -for a fashionable exterior and distinction -of bearing “as to the manner -born.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of taking dress and -ornament as a sure indication of a -woman’s character or station. You -might regret mistaking a quietly-attired -unadorned heiress for a shirt-maker in -distress; or a fourth-class pawnbroker’s -wife, beringed and bediamonded from -bang to belt, for a sorceress of fashion. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">57</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before judging people disparagingly -by their eccentricities. A poet, for -instance, may indulge in long hair, without -necessarily being an <i>æsthete</i> or a -cowboy; the habit of talking to one’s-self -is no proof of a guilty conscience; -and absent-mindedness in many forms -has accompanied the possession of -exceptional capacity.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, before accepting such -betrayals as positive indications of -either genius, talent or brains. To do -this would be to libel the ordinarily -well-behaved people who have some -respect for the amenities of existence.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, for instance, ere ascribing pure -benevolence to the absent-mindedness -that mistakes your silk umbrella for a -mislaid gingham one, shaky in the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">58</span> -ribs, feruled with long service, and filtery -at the seams.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop and draw a line likewise, at the abstraction -that finds its hand in your -pocket, or creeps in at your bedroom -window, or is blandly oblivious as to -whether it owes you money, or <i>vice -versa</i>.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and turn the question over in your -mind: True enough, there is a chance -of such eccentricities being the concomitants -of a certain sort of talent, but is -it exactly the sort that ought to be -encouraged?</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if naturally dishonest or vicious -yourself, and inquire if you can fairly -judge others according to your own corrupt -standard. This may prevent your -giving yourself away, besides leavening -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">59</span> -your collective baseness with a grain -or two of charity.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, if honest and well-meaning—and, -indeed, it is mainly for such that -this symposium of golden precepts is -prepared—and remember, as a stimulant -to careful discrimination in these -things, that your own superficialities -may be constantly and cruelly misjudged.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that you have no -superficialities, or but few, to be judged -by. The visibility of existence is -largely made up of them; it is, perhaps -even well that the heart is not often -worn upon the sleeve; and equally well -that our externals are but deceptive indices -of the springs of action, the blots -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">60</span> -and foibles they disguise, else were the -wisest of us each other’s sport.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before taking mildness and retirement -of manner for a want of resolution -or courage. True greatness in anything -is seldom self-celebrating, and it is as -true as proverbial that “still waters -run deep.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, before setting -down a strutting self-importance as invariably -betokening a wind-bag or a -nincompoop. Modesty is, unfortunately, -not always the hand-maid of merit.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before mistaking ostentation for -generosity, or calm acceptance for ingratitude. -“As the mean have a calculating -avarice that sometimes inclines -them to give, so the magnanimous have -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">61</span> -a condescending generosity that sometimes -inclines them to receive.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before despising in another the demonstrativeness -that you would despise -in yourself. The babble of the brook -is as natural as the stillness of the pool -and temperamental differences are always -to be considered.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before regarding extreme particularity -in dress as an invariable evidence of -intellectual insignificance. It often is -so, but nine-tenths of the shabbily-attired -men of brains would dress better -if they could afford to.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop on the dizzy verge of mistaking an -excessive and painstaking courtesy for -a genuine and heartfelt interest. It -should rather put you on your guard.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of the old-time cynicism of regarding -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">62</span> -every man as a rascal until he -shall have afforded proofs to the contrary. -Such a wholesale distrust of human -nature is creditable to neither the -head nor the heart.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before sweepingly condemning a discreditable -action the temptations to -which are outside your own experience. -Even to “put yourself in his place” is -not always available for the formation -of intelligent criticism in such cases.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before lightly assigning reasons for -another’s domestic troubles. The closet-skeleton -is a strictly local spectre that -is not the less terrible by reason of the -narrowness of its haunting powers.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of disparaging the charity that -methodizes and calculates its smallest -alms. There is an enlightened self-interest -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">63</span> -that relieves more real distress -than all the off-handed gratuities that -are bestowed.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before impugning self-seeking motives -to a good deed that redounds to -the doer’s advantage. Even if partly -premeditated to this end, the result, if -humanitarian in its general influence, is -not the less useful and noble.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before judging a man solely by his -errors or misfortunes. The former may -have been circumstantially unavoidable, -as the latter may have been undeserved.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before adopting the stereotyped, -canting “I-might-have-told-you-so” criticism -in the case of a friend who has -fallen. The helping hand is then in -order, if ever at all; and he is doubtless -aware of the cause of his disgrace, -without your telling him. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">64</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i066.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Recreation">In Recreation.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop before making a regular business of -any form of diversion, which then ceases -to be either recreative or relaxing, and -but adds to the tissue-waste that should -be restored.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, next, and consider that recreation, -in its literal and best sense, is something -more than relaxation. More than -to merely loosen, slacken and remit, to -recreate is to revive, reanimate, recuperate -and build up afresh.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, therefore, before playing billiards or -pool every night for five or six hours -at a stretch, under the mistaken notion -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">65</span> -that you are combining recreation with -amusement.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and consider if the nervous -tension produced by an unremitting -desire to win, and thus saddle your adversary -with the cost of the game, may -not be greater than the wear and tear -of the routine business from which you -are seeking relief.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of the error that billiards in -public is a wholly innocent diversion, -when candid reflection must convince -you to the contrary. The associations -are mostly the reverse of refined, the -gambling principle is necessarily involved, -and say what you will, non-success -is ever attended by a sense of exasperation.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop wondering why you don’t feel freshened -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">66</span> -up for business after a ten hours’ -siege of whisky-poker, uninterrupted -cigars, and consequent loss of sleep.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before fancying chess-playing as any -sort of relaxation whatever from mental -exertion. The game, being a constant -mental exercise, in itself should form a -diversion from physical, rather than -from intellectual, over-work.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of daily conviviality after business -hours. The idea that regular rum -or beer-guzzling, even with the merriest -of companions, can be sooner or latter -anything but injurious is either hypocritical -or ridiculous.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, likewise, short of spreeing as a relief -from business cares. Indeed, as between -the hebdomadal hurrah and the -diurnal hoist, the distinction is so -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">67</span> -thoroughly relative to the confessedly -evil effects in both cases as not to be -worthy of consideration.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before seeking recreation in low resorts. -Give them all a wide berth—concert-saloons, -dives, dens, hells, -houses of ill-repute, bucket-shops, slums, -cribs, joints—all! and remember that -what is essentially debasing can never -reanimate exhaustion or repair fatigue.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before patronizing a low performance -of any description. Dog-fights, -rat-baitings, cocking-mains, <i>et al.</i>, are -happily surreptitious now, but there are -equally immoral exhibitions still in -vogue to tempt the thoughtless and -unwary.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before seeking recreation in sensuous -performances or spectacles. True, -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">68</span> -the ballet is often fascinating, but—Well, -let the line be drawn sharply just -after the ballet, at all events.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before attempting either skating, -bicycling, or horse-back exercise in public, -as a gentle and graceful relaxation, -when wholly inexperienced, if you would -both corruscate and career.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before making a specialty of any -kind of recreation that is beyond your -means. Otherwise, you may not infrequently -exclaim, with <i>Hamlet</i>, “For -O, for O, the hobby-horse is forgot!”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop at the yawning abyss of resorting to -opium, or any similar drug, as a relief -from care. As the alcoholic habit has -been likened to an enchantress, a circean -witch, so the opium habit is a -dream-woman, the sorceress of a phantom -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">69</span> -realm, elysian at first, but changing -at last into a horror-haunted sphere that -appals the spirit while it tortures and -consumes the frame.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before applying yourself to excessive -gymnastics as a relaxation, if a horse-car -conductor or a letter-carrier. Variety -is the spice of life.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if engaged in wholly intellectual -pursuits, before reading dry and statistical -books, such as Patent Reports, as -a pleasing and hilarious change.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before joining a club with whose -objects you are unfamiliar. To find -yourself unawares, for instance, in the -bosom of a hoodlum coterie when in -search of Christian refinement, or unexpectedly -affiliated with a Bible society -when thirsting for roaring and convivial -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">70</span> -companionship, would be alike uncongenial.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before seeking recreation in travel, -if without money. True, commercial -drummers and tramps have attained -some success in this field, but neither -the talents of the one class nor the -methods of the other are to be cordially -recommended.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before indulging in the rougher -athletic sports for which you are physically -unqualified. Study your capacities -well—take in the entire athletic range, -from jackstraws to Indian clubs, from -the bean-bag to foot-ball—and discriminate -for all you are worth.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before instituting any home-amusement -that shall bind you to the house -of evenings forever thereafter. You -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">71</span> -might really want to go out and “see a -man,” but the excuse would avail you -little with the charming home-game -awaiting your patronage.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before frequenting any lounging -place, be it beer-saloon or cigar-shop, so -much as to become a figure-head of the -premises. Not to loaf at all is an excellent -general rule.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before attempting recreation “on the -road” in an ultra-economical way. A -livery-stable plug, hobbling ambitiously -before a battered sleigh or antediluvian -buggy, in the midst of swell turn-outs -and speeding teams, would doubtless -cause something of a sensation, but -would it be of the most enviable kind?</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of seeking mental repose by -attending “excursions” in which bibulous -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">72</span> -feats and glee-club improvisations -bid fair to make up the chief fund of -amusement.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of practical jokes as a relief -for the work-oppressed brain. As between -jok<i>er</i> and jok<i>ee</i>, the entertainment -is mostly altogether with the -former, and one-sided or top-heavy -diversions are both selfish and untimely.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and be sure that you have a work-oppressed -brain, before rushing wildly -into any recreation whatever. The -former is often imaginary, or a hypocritical -excuse for demanding a pastime, -which is then, as a consequence, apt to -prove much harder work than play. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">73</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i075.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_The_Domestic_Relations">In The Domestic Relations.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of thinking that marriage and -settlement in life can acquit you of the -tenderness and reverence due your parents, -even if they are well-to-do. It is -a moral obligation which, contracted at -your birth, should cease not even with -their death, but live on and on, an -evergreen of the memory, an amaranth -of the heart.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before reserving for the bosom of -your own family the fits of ill-temper -that you would be ashamed of if public. -This is putting your own household -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">74</span> -on a level with a private bear-garden, -whose limited spectators cannot be -over-grateful for the privilege accorded.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that your wife -is anything less than an equal partner -in the hymeneal firm. Even if she came -to you penniless, the idea that she is -thenceforth indebted to you for home, -position or freedom from care, is a -barbarism fortunately obsolete in this -country.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, likewise, short of the imported -notion, also obsolete, that she <i>belongs</i> to -you other than by the free heart-gift -that inspired her marriage vows, or that -she is in any sense your property. The -cherishing of such a sentiment is degrading -alike to husband and wife.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before denying to your wife the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">75</span> -right to have little secrets of her own, -if you claim the same privilege for yourself. -A loving and trusted wife will -have no important secrets apart from -her husband.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of altogether distrusting her in -money matters. Even if she have but -little common sense in such things, her -wifehood is a responsibility for which -you are responsible, and which cannot -be wholly nullified without humiliating -her.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of denying her the possession -of some pocket-money of her own, if -but very little. “During my married -life,” said a prominent lecturer on -woman’s rights, “I never had a cent of -pocket-money that I was not forced to -<i>steal</i> from my husband.” And this -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">76</span> -statement will evoke more reflection -than censure in the thoughtful mind.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before grumblingly supplying the -household demands. This practice of -growling over a domestic expenditure, -which is but a tithe of what your next -“good time with the boys” will cost -you, is more prevalent than sensible.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before placing any one over your -wife’s head in her own house. Be it -mother-in-law, sister-in-law, or any one -else, the course is alike risky and unwise.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating a dislike or niggardliness -for your wife’s passion for -dress, if it is accompanied by a refined -taste and an earnest desire to be within -what you can afford. Fine feathers -may not always make fine birds, but a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">77</span> -naturally attractive woman is undeniably -more lovable and attractive when -tastefully attired than otherwise.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop long before relinquishing, after marriage, -the delicate little attentions and -sacrifices that were so acceptable during -your courtship. A lover-husband will -make a sweetheart-wife, and for such -the honey-moon need have no wane.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, however, dead short of uxoriousness -to a degree that shall excite a smile or -comment. The former is apt to be -exasperating, and the latter of a nature -the reverse of soothing to your <i>amour -propre</i>.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before developing a womanish desire -to interfere with domestic arrangements -outside of your province. In other -words, never be what your wife might -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">78</span> -call a “cock-biddy,” and your cook “an -intermiddling mon.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before developing a fault-finding -disposition with the cooking or other -accommodations, or first be sure that -you are not more responsible for the -faults than your wife.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of concealing the fact from your -wife, if she is falling unconsciously into -slovenly and unkempt personal habits -when only in your presence. Let her -but comprehend that this is a wifely -neglect that has driven many a husband -into neater but unscrupulous feminine -society, and speedy amendment must -follow.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before holding your wife accountable -for every little smile or frankness -accorded to her antenuptial admirers. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">79</span> -’Tis the watched fire that languishes; -and, should she meditate treason, she -would not hint it by so much as a rush-light.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before letting her know it, if you -find out that your marriage has been -a mistake. Doubtless this will make -itself felt, despite your utmost precautions, -and her sufferings in making the -sad discovery will then challenge your -compunction, your pity and your redoubled -devotion, if you are a true -man.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before laughing at piety in your wife, -even if an infidel yourself. “Wise men -like to have pious wives,” says Emerson, -“and it is well for all concerned -that it should be so.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before betraying your weaknesses to -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">80</span> -your children. Even a hypocritical assumption -of a morality that you do not -always practice is preferable to self-exposure -in this regard.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before correcting them in the presence -of outsiders. The self-respect of -a little child, once wounded to the -quick, is long in healing; and some -consideration is due, moreover, to the -outsiders.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before punishing a child when influenced -by anger. The punishment -then ceases to be corrective, and is only -resentful; whereas the helplessness of -the child should of itself evoke but -magnanimity.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, when thus impelled by anger, and -reflect if you would as readily seek to -gratify it, were no such disparity existent—that -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">81</span> -is, where the child as big and -powerful as yourself.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before threatening a chastisement -that you don’t intend to inflict. Or, if -you must persist in this course, don’t -ascribe the continued disobedience, -which is its inevitable outgrowth, to -anything but your own weakness.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of deception or untruth in your -dealings with your children, if you -would impress them with the opposite -sentiments.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in this regard, and reflect that, if the -childish mind is wax to early impressions, -it is of a kind that hardens with -the imprint, and that from the hardening -process spring the imitation and -the <i>emulation</i>, which must gradually -corrupt or ennoble, as the case may be. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">82</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before assuming a bullying tone or -attitude toward your family or your domestics. -Vaporings of this description -are always in wretched taste, and a -home-circle that must needs be terrorized -is little to be envied.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before living beyond, or even quite -up to your means, and be not ambitious -to make an outside show at the expense -of internal comfort.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of lessening the significance of -old-time festivities, such as Thanksgiving -Day, Christmas, New Year’s and -birth-day observances, simply because -you have yourself outgrown their zest.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before repressing any innocent propensity -to <i>gush</i> on the part of your wife -or children. It is a chill home-fountain -that will not occasionally overflow. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">83</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, if possible, before ever disturbing -your family peace with even so much as -an unkind or hasty word. The pretty -lines,</p> - -<div class="poetry"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> -<span class="i0">“We have greeting words for the stranger,<br /></span> -<span class="i2">And smiles for the sometime guest,<br /></span> -<span class="i0">But oft for Our Own the bitter tone.<br /></span> -<span class="i2">Though we love Our Own the best,”<br /></span> -</div></div></div> - -<p class="i4">should never be pertinent in a wise -man’s household.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before assuming an oracular or infallible -attitude—in other words, setting -yourself up as a small god—before -your own family. Ten to one, it is an -assumption that you cannot maintain -with any degree of consistency, and one -which may entail a humiliating back-down -when least expected. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">84</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i086.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Business_Life">In Business Life.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of attempting a business enterprise -wholly beyond your mental and -financial equipment. To attempt the -<i>rôle</i> of a railroad magnate, for instance, -when you have the soul of a licensed -fish-vender, or the manipulation of a -government loan with hardly enough -capital for a fruit-stand, would be more -ambitious than wise.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before adopting rigorous and unbending -methods that, under a change -of fortune, can be quoted against you -to your disadvantage. Thus, to never -lend money, on principle, when prosperous, -but be perfectly willing to borrow -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">85</span> -it when broke, might subject you to unpleasant -comment.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before assuming a domineering, -Jovian tone toward those with less -money than you, even if you have a corner -on the market. Men are often like -rats in this, that they fight when they -are cornered.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop when already so deep into a hopeless -speculation that you can’t beg or -borrow another cent, when certain ruin -stares you in the face, and even your -pawn-tickets are at a discount. Forlorn -hopes are only practicable in serial -stories and war.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, even at the height of prosperity, -and make sure of the future by settling -upon your family a competence that -shall thenceforth forever be secured to -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">86</span> -them, come what may. This prudent -course, feasible and honorable during -prosperity, would be just the reverse if -deferred until after business disaster -may have come.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of imagining that there is -any more <i>luck</i> in a legitimate business -than in games of chance—in other -words, that there is any at all. Or, if -there is any, it consists of superior -energy, foresight, shrewdness and application, -wherein, of course, the stronger -wins while the weaker goes to the -wall.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and reflect well, before venturing -outside of a legitimate, fairly-paying -business upon the sea of speculation, -which is in reality but gambling under -another name. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">87</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating a reputation for -either over-credulity or relentless hard -bargaining in business life. The one -will be abused, while the other will -foster enmities through the abuse it -practices.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of uncompromising martinetism -toward your employees. Our -clerks, for instance, can no longer be -treated as apprentices; many of them -are rich men in embryo; and with -what satisfaction and gratitude do -powerful millionaires often recall slight -kindnesses and encouragements received -from their employers when they -were nothing but obscure clerks or -office-boys!</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before choosing business quarters of -a magnitude and pretension wholly out -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">88</span> -of keeping with your trade and custom. -There is a laughable case in point, in -the upper part of New York, where a -diminutive, tumble-down junk-shop displays -a flaring sign with the preposterous -legend: “Great American Mammoth -Junk Emporium.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before advertising your commodities -for something better than they really -are. This is to cheat yourself in the -long run, for the average of public -buyers rarely allow themselves to be -deliberately swindled twice by the same -liar.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that the hackneyed -phrase, “Business is business,” -can ever excuse a downright dishonest -transaction in the opinion of <i>all</i> your -business acquaintances. -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">89</span></p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, therefore, before setting the majority -of them down as secretly unprincipled, -and vaunting their uprightness -as a mask. Money-loving as they are, -the majority of those whose good -opinion is worth having are personally -honest at the core.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of being dazzled by mere business -success, irrespective of questionable -or dangerous methods by which it may -have been achieved. Unless the means -shall have justified the result, there can -be no praiseworthy success.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that spasmodic -cleverness can ever take the place of -solid method, organized effort and settled -application in any respectable -calling.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and go easy before provoking a -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">90</span> -powerful business hostility, if possible, -but never to the sacrifice of a true principle; -and, war being fully declared (<i>i.e.</i>, -competition, ruthless and uncompromising), -let it be to the knife, to the -bitter end, till the last pecuniary sinew -snaps!</p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i092.jpg" alt="" /> -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">91</span></p> - -<p class="figcenter"> -<img src="images/i093.jpg" alt="" /> -</p> - -<h2 id="In_Thought_Word_and">In Thought, Word and -Deed.</h2> - -<p class="hang">Stop before even thinking unworthily. -Not to entertain in the mind what you -would blush to speak or put in writing -is an excellent general rule of -ethics.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before nourishing a pride of nationality. -This is even more unreasonable -than the pride of ancestry, for the greatness -of the latter may be in some degree -inherited, while for the mere accident -of birth-<i>place</i> a man is as irresponsible -as he is unentitled to plume himself -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">92</span> -upon historical greatness in the abstract.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, also, before cherishing even a pride -of race. This is wholly distinct from -the virtue of Patriotism, in its best -sense; is opposed to the enlightened -spirit of the age; and is one of the narrowest -of prejudices.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of despising public spirit in -others, or eliminating it from your own -calculations. The most insignificant -pot-house politician is of more worldly -use than the most gifted misanthrope. -No amount of selfish seclusion or isolation -can absolve one from his duty of -fellowship.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before making butts of others, -especially by reason of personal peculiarities -for which they are in no wise -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">93</span> -responsible. The old aphorism about -stone-throwing in relation to glass domiciles -is always in order; and even a -natural-born fool is more to be pitied -than ridiculed.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop putting in words that which you -would not do, or putting in writing that -which you would not sign.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, and remember that an ill-considered -angry word may, on the breath of hearsay, -become a winged seed, from which -shall spring a poisonous upas growth, -whose deadly influence could not have -been dreamed of at its inception.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop before falling into apathy, before becoming -a do-nothing, through discouragements. -“A great mind,” says <i>Lacon</i>, -“may change its objects, but it cannot -relinquish them; it must have something -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">94</span> -to pursue. Variety is its relaxation, -and amusement its repose.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of being painstaking to excess -in what you would pass off as improvised. -Over-elaboration in this regard -may be likened to the dishabille in -which a coquette would wish you to -think you have surprised her, after -spending hours at her toilet.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that rascality can -be as uniformly logical as honesty. -Villains are usually the worst casuists, -and rush into <i>greater</i> crimes to avoid -<i>less</i>.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in combating the World, and reflect -that by resisting its temptations you -master the secret of ultimately possessing -its noblest prizes, the respect of -your fellows, and the proudest self-respect -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">95</span> -in having successfully withstood -not in order to achieve, but from a -sense of moral duty.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in resisting the allurements of the -Flesh, and consider that by subjecting -them to the yoke of reason, your capacity -for rational fleshly enjoyment is -both intensified and prolonged.</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, in fighting the Devil (<i>i.e.</i>, moral -perverseness,) and remember that your -victory will be evidence of moral balance -on your own part, rather than of -faint-heartedness on His Inky Majesty’s. -And you may likewise recall with complacency -Emerson’s indictment, where -he says, “It stands to reason that the -Devil is an ass.”</p> - -<p class="hang">Stop, after having fairly floored the Machiavellian -triumvirate, the World, the -<span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">96</span> -Flesh and the Devil, and candidly confess -that you might have fared worse -but for the precepts and injunctions -laid down in this little book.</p> - -<h3>THE END.</h3> -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">97</span></p> - -<div class="ph1"> -<span class="x-large">A GREAT HIT.</span><br /> - -<span class="smcap">A Naughty Girl’s Diary</span><br /> - -<span class="medium">—BY—</span><br /> - -<span class="large">AUTHOR OF</span><br /> - -<span class="large">“A Bad Boy’s Diary.”</span><br /> - -<span class="large"><i>FULL OF FUN.</i></span><br /> - -<span class="large gesperrt">Price 50 cents.</span><br /> -</div> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Stop!, by Nathan Dean Urner - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STOP! *** - -***** This file should be named 53443-h.htm or 53443-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/3/4/4/53443/ - -Produced by Anita Hammond, Wayne Hammond and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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