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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #53443 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/53443)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stop!, by Nathan Dean Urner
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Stop!
- A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience and Portable Guardian
- against the World, the Flesh and the Devil
-
-Author: Nathan Dean Urner
-
-Release Date: November 3, 2016 [EBook #53443]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STOP! ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Anita Hammond, Wayne Hammond and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
-file was produced from images generously made available
-by The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-[Transcriber's Note:
-
-This project uses utf-8 encoded characters. If some characters are not
-readable, check your settings of your text reader to ensure you have a
-font installed that can display utf-8 characters.
-
-Italics delimited by underscores.]
-
-
-
-
- Stop!
-
- _A Handy Monitor and
- Pocket Conscience._
-
- THE NEW “COLTON’S LACON.”
-
- By Author of NEVER and ALWAYS.
-
-
-
-
- MRS. MARY J. HOLMES’ NOVELS
-
- Over a MILLION Sold
-
- THE NEW BOOK
-
- Queenie Hetherton
-
- _JUST OUT_.
-
- For Sale Everywhere
-
- Price, $1.50.
-
-
-
-
- STOP!
-
- _A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience
- and Portable Guardian
- against the World,
- the Flesh and the
- Devil._
-
-“Stop! To pause, knock off, let up, cheese it, switch off, give it a
-rest, cut short, stand like a rock, kick against, shut down, bring up
-with a round turn, hold hard,” etc.--THESAURUS.
-
-“What would you, sir? I pray you _stop_, nor yield a hair to vicious
-promptings!”--MOLIERE.
-
- BY MENTOR.
-
- AUTHOR OF “NEVER” AND “ALWAYS.”
-
- [Illustration]
-
- NEW YORK:
-
- COPYRIGHT, 1884, BY
-
- _G. W. Carleton & Co., Publishers_.
-
- LONDON: S. LOW & CO.
-
- MDCCCLXXXIV.
-
- Stereotyped by
- SAMUEL STODDER,
- 42 DEY STREET, N. Y.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-_Introduction._
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-_THE pining need of a work of this kind--an instructive sharpener in
-book-form, as it were, of the moral faculty--has long been so seriously
-felt that the author eagerly hastens to supply it._
-
-_In_ “NEVER” _and_ “ALWAYS,” _his appeal was rather
-to the externalities of life. In_ “STOP,” _his aim is to
-regulate the very springs of impulse, deliberation and resolve. In
-other words, there is not a temptation that he would not strip of its
-disguise, not an unworthy motive that he would not pulverize as with a
-corrective club, not a misleading conceit that he would not skewer to
-its squirming source._
-
-_Although the pearls of thought and monitory gems herewith presented
-are intended mainly for young men just entering upon the great work of
-life, there is neither man nor maid, stripling nor patriarch, saphead
-nor sage who may not scramble for them with avidity, and glory in their
-possession._
-
-_Young man, are you hesitating in the choice of a vocation? A reference
-to the admonitions under this head in_ “STOP” _may be the
-means of your becoming a Millionaire, a Police Magistrate or an
-ornament to society. Are you in love, or willing to be? A consultation
-of the advice at your command may place you in such hobnobbing,
-soul-wedded relations with the rosy god as shall cause you to charm,
-to captivate, and finally to wrest the rapt, responsive throb from
-Beauty’s battlemented heart. Are you a driveling idiot in money
-matters? Imbibe, and be wise. And so on, through all the departments of
-existence._
-
-_Thus, panoplied, as it were, against the World, the Flesh and the
-Devil, you might eventually, in an agony of gratitude and wonderment,
-eulogize the author in the significant words of Hamlet, slightly
-altered, to the following effect:_
-
-_“’Sblood! he plays on me easier than on a pipe! He would seem to know
-my_ STOPS; _he would pluck out the heart of my mystery; he
-would sound me from my lowest notes to the top of my compass; there is
-so much music, excellent voice and incomparable counsel in this little
-book!”_
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-_Contents._
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
- In Choosing a Vocation 9
-
- In General Deportment 19
-
- In Love Affairs 27
-
- In Money Matters 39
-
- In Guarding Against Bad Habits 48
-
- In Judging Others 55
-
- In Recreations 64
-
- In the Domestic Relations 73
-
- In Business Life 84
-
- In Thought, Word and Deed 91
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-Stop!
-
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Choosing a Vocation.
-
-
-Stop, first, and reflect what you are fit for. To rush recklessly into
-an occupation of which you are as ignorant as a horse is of music, is
-not to be thought of.
-
-Stop, next, and consider if what you have in view is respectable. Or,
-if too much of an ass to distinguish between banking and bunco, for
-instance, read up carefully on horse-sense.
-
-Stop, again, and be sure that your choice is in keeping with your
-capacity. To essay one of the learned professions if wholly uneducated,
-speculative pursuits if a natural born fool, or hod-carrying if
-lily-handed, spindle-propped and wasp-waisted, is hardly a proof of
-intellectuality.
-
-Stop, your career being chosen, to master its rudiments before essaying
-its higher walks. Rome was not built in a day, nor is any vocation a
-spring-board to waft you into the empyrean at the primary bounce.
-
-Stop long enough to master the rule of “addition, division and
-silence,” if seeking political preferrment, or employment as a
-confidential clerk.
-
-Stop long enough in one vocation to give it a fair trial.
-Jacks-of-all-trades--men who are studying law in the morning,
-counter-hopping after dinner, peddling soap to-day, starting a bank
-to-morrow--are seldom successful.
-
-Stop, and ponder deeply, before becoming that pitiable object, a
-professional office-seeker. Rather sink your independence of thought
-and action at once by marrying for money, or toadying upon a rich
-relative.
-
-Stop, if a lawyer’s office-boy, before intruding your legal views upon
-your employer’s graver consultations. Think! Should you excite his
-professional envy at the outset?
-
-Stop, if beginning as a dry-goods clerk, before imagining yourself a
-silent partner in the concern, with your four dollars a week as its
-chief investment. Self-respect is one thing, unmitigated, idiotic
-asininity another.
-
-Stop, if at the tape-and-shoestrings counter, before aspiring to
-the glittering generalities of the ribbons and laces, or the grave
-responsibilities of the white-goods department. The cares of these high
-functions may surpass your conception, and we must creep before we
-climb.
-
-Stop before entering the ministry, if without religious convictions, a
-sacrilegious scoffer, and morally depraved.
-
-Stop on the ragged edge of the fallacy that your place, or any man’s
-cannot be filled by another. When men die, as they all must, are their
-places not always filled?
-
-Stop on the brink of blatant, unaccredited, irresponsible quackery
-in anything, but especially if desirous of becoming a disciple of
-Hippocrates.
-
-Stop, if contemplating a banking career, and inquire if you have a
-mathematical mind and attainments. A vague acquaintance with the rule
-of three, together with a mouth-watering desire for colossal wealth,
-cannot alone enable you to rival the wizards of finance.
-
-Stop before setting up on your own account, unless thoroughly in
-earnest. Even a peanut-stand may be dignified by business energy and
-perseverance.
-
-Stop short, bring up with a round turn, at any inducement, however
-dazzling, that is not strictly honest. You can better afford to be
-mediocre than obnoxious.
-
-Stop, and consider well, before taking up a patent lightning-rod.
-Agents are already numerous, and farmers’ dogs on the alert.
-
-Stop, before joining the army of commercial drummers, and be sure that
-you possess three qualifications in a superlative degree, _i.e._: cheek,
-pertinacity and the gift of gab.
-
-Stop, should you become a drummer, at the nineteenth lie in support of
-one line of goods. Mendacity hath its limits, and even the credulity of
-a yokel may be gorged.
-
-Stop on the giddy verge of over-estimate in any business. “Hope,” says
-_Lacon_, “is a prodigal young heir, and experience is his banker; but
-his drafts are seldom honored, because he draws largely on a small
-capital, is not yet in possession, and if he were, would _die_.”
-
-Stop, indignantly repel, all inducements on the part of advertising
-sharks. Their name is legion, and they seek but to devour.
-
-Stop, howsoever tempted, at the allurements of roguery, embezzlement,
-rascality, and satanic suggestions of every description. If you must be
-a cutpurse let it be on the broad highway, pistol in hand, dime-novel
-at heart, and the gallows in sight.
-
-Stop, if contemplating a political career, and distinctly settle this
-question in your mind: Am I to boss the party, or is the party to boss
-me? There is nothing like avoiding a confusion of ideas.
-
-Stop, next, and be certain that your ambition is not o’erleaping its
-aim. Pluck bright honor from the pale-faced moon, if possible, but
-to make a dead set for the Presidency and bring up as a police-court
-janitor, or coroner’s assistant, is apt to prove discouraging.
-
-Stop, even if rich, before entering upon pleasure as a business. Few
-constitutions can long stand the racket, _ennui_ is the result, and
-premature death its bourne.
-
-Stop before entering the literary profession, if devoid of imagination,
-a proverbial fool, and with but a lazy comprehension of orthography,
-grammar and syntax.
-
-Stop, next, and ask yourself, what great author, dead or living, shall
-I emulate? Then, be your model Shakespeare or Bartley Campbell,
-Thackeray or Tupper, Byron or the _Burlington Hawkeye_, stick to your
-ideal, revel in ink and starve for glory.
-
-Stop, if of a dramatic turn, before absolutely forcing a manager to
-produce your play. There are, unfortunately, legal safeguards for even
-this species of credulous, unsophisticated, professionals.
-
-Stop, and reflect profoundly, before adopting pugilism as a vocation,
-if constitutionally weak in the back, color-blind, short-winded, and
-timid to pusillanimity.
-
-Stop before deciding upon a histrionic career, until satisfied that you
-are not better fitted for an auction-room or a junk-shop.
-
-Stop, in any calling, long enough to become familiar with the foot of
-the ladder before clawing ineffectually at the top-round. Beginning
-at the top, to come down with a rush, is reserved for millionaires’
-sons, holders of winning lottery-tickets and cat’s-paws of nominating
-conventions.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In General Deportment.
-
-
-Stop at the assumption of a supercilious, ducal air, especially if
-small of stature, monkey-brained and impecunious. This is solely the
-privilege of floor-walkers, brained midgets and actresses’ husbands.
-
-Stop, on the other hand, if tall and commanding, before cultivating a
-creeping, crushed demeanor, unless you are a colporteur or dog-stealer.
-
-Stop on the brink of wholly disregarding the prevailing fashions.
-Knee-breeches, shoe-buckles, a powdered wig, and a swallow-tailed coat,
-with the waist-buttons between the shoulder-blades, would stamp you as
-an eccentric at the present day.
-
-Stop before despising the requirements of the seasons. A straw-hat in a
-snow-storm, for instance, would excite remark.
-
-Stop when vanity counsels an excess of ornament. To exhibit a jewel or
-two with judgment is one thing, to groan under a clanking avoirdupois
-of gauds and trinkets another.
-
-Stop at the claims of both a cadaverous gravity and a causeless
-facetiousness of demeanor. Neither the belfry owl nor the proverbial
-basket of chips should be your model in this regard.
-
-Stop on the verge of unnecessary violence in word and deed. Resent, if
-you must, without preliminary roaring. The deadly submarine torpedo is
-terrible in its explosion, but less noisy than the harmless bursting of
-an inflated paper-bag.
-
-Stop before criticising what you do not understand. The bore indulging
-in this species of idiocy is deserving of an enforced association with
-numerous mothers-in-law in a whisper-gallery.
-
-Stop, indeed, snap your jaws to like a spring-trap, at the very
-suggestion of an oath or low expression. “Profanity,” says _Lacon_,
-“never yet dignified wrath nor emphasized a great purpose.”
-
-Stop before indulging in covert sneers. Indeed, “a good, mouth-filling
-oath” is preferable, because less hypocritical, but an ungarnished
-assertion is better than either.
-
-Stop before meanly insinuating what should be plainly spoken. Even if
-a man owes you money, which you think he ought to pay, tell him so, or
-ask for an explanation, instead of conveying your meaning through an
-allusion to his current expense or new clothes. This is the course of a
-sneak and a coward.
-
-Stop, rather, and bewail the abolition of imprisonment for debt,
-or tell him that he ought to live cheaply and go in rags until he
-liquidates.
-
-Stop before assuming a rasping, file-edged, whip-in-hand demeanor
-toward your dependents or inferiors. Apart from its villainously
-bad taste, the whirligig of time may bring about a transposition of
-relations, and then where are you?
-
-Stop, on the other hand, ere adopting a groveling, sycophantic,
-ultra-ingratiating manner with your superiors. “The flavor that can
-only be won by fawning servility is seldom of great worth.”
-
-Stop before persisting in a style of laugh that can betray your motives
-to your disadvantage. The “He, he, he!” of hypocrisy is as patent as
-the “Haw, haw, haw!” of the windbag.
-
-Stop at an unwarranted ostentation of speech and bearing. The
-dung-hill bird is distinguished quite as much by his strut as by his
-vociferousness.
-
-Stop, in addressing a woman, and consider the privilege of her sex,
-even if she may have aggrieved you.
-
-Stop, on the other hand, before over-whelming her with an excess of
-courtesy. Over-attentiveness to women always inspires a suspicion as
-to its motive.
-
-Stop before retailing a scandal, even if convinced of its truth. This
-is the province of the incorrigible gossip and the newspaper reporter,
-with neither of whom you can hope to cope.
-
-Stop on the threshold of a temptation to distort the truth.
-Plausibility in lying is an art in which but few can earn distinction.
-
-Stop before disputing a fact, however distasteful, that can be proved
-by statistical evidence. Figures are not apt to lie, save on gas-metres.
-
-Stop before adhering to an error through a mistaken sense of shame.
-“Who acknowledgeth his error showeth an increase of wisdom; who
-stubbornly adhereth to what hath been disproved confesseth himself a
-fool.”
-
-Stop short of the conceit that irresistibility with the fair sex
-depends on good-looks alone. The manners make the man.
-
-Stop before aping the characteristics of another, however exalted.
-The gesticulations of the Frenchman would be unseemly in the staid
-Hidalgo, and that which would be a pleasing originality in one might be
-a preposterous parody in the imitator.
-
-Stop short of the notion that wiseacre looks and frigidity of manner
-will always be indicative of reserved force and intellectual acumen.
-The owl is the solemnest and likewise the stupidest of birds.
-
-Stop, whenever in moral doubt or distress, and consult the masterly
-advice and sage promptings of this jewel of a book. It shall be unto
-you “as rivers of water in a dry place, or the shadow of a great rock
-in a weary land.”
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Love Affairs.
-
-
-Stop!--That burning thought--that delirium in thy heart--as to the
-lovely being whose image is before thee night and day--is it such as
-her modesty and virtue, her seraphic guilelessness should inspire? if
-not, away with it--blot it out!
-
-Stop! Was she rather plain than peerless, and is it the thought of her
-father’s bonds and shekels that now summons the enamored hectic to thy
-virile cheek? Away with it, likewise, and for shame! Shall blood with
-boodle blend--emotion cringe at Mammon’s beck--and Love be unavenged?
-
-Stop! Stay yet again thy headlong plunge! Was she yet lovely, an houri
-of a dream, but still beneath thee in family, station, fortune, and
-didst therefore smile but to deceive? If so, hold hard, hug this sweet
-volume to thy heart of hearts, and sin no more!
-
-Stop, and meditate upon the three foregoing paragraphs, for in them are
-embodied the cardinal principles in making love: Purity of purpose,
-Disinterestedness and Truth.
-
-Stop for some encouragement before rendering your attentions
-universally conspicuous. A glance of the eye, a tremor of the lip, the
-merest shadow of a blush upon the seashell-tinted cheek, will suffice.
-
-Stop, if such subtle signs are wanting or withheld, and plan some
-deep-laid scheme to unveil heart’s predilection, indifference, or
-dislike. Oysters and ice-cream are still available in their respective
-seasons.
-
-Stop before mistaking a passing fancy for a wild, consuming maddening,
-over-mastering, star-jostling passion. This mistake has evoked more
-paternal walking-sticks and breach-of-promise suits than would keep a
-French novelist in subject-matter for a twelvemonth.
-
-Stop, after falling head over ears in love, to collect your senses
-and formulate your plans. An inconsiderate, maniacal rush into a
-declaration is often repented at leisure.
-
-Stop, if not certain of your ground, before wholly unmasking your
-batteries. Delicate attentions, even worshiping, awe-struck glances
-from afar, are time-old preliminaries, but none the less effective.
-
-Stop, however, on the threshold of feverish demonstration at the
-outset. Furnace-like sighs, dazed, dumb-founded looks, like those of an
-expiring calf, and frenzied bodily contortions may be brought to bear
-in their own good time.
-
-Stop short of opposing her tastes and convictions. To gently chime
-with them, whether you have any of your own or not, while preserving
-a vigorous masculinity in favor of quail-gorging, head-punching and
-kindred noble sports, is in the main commendable.
-
-Stop before vaunting a wild, atheistical or Ingersollian contempt
-for all things sacred, if she should be of a deeply religious turn.
-However, this is not to prescribe a regular biblical course, a very
-little of which goes a great way in the wooing o’t.
-
-Stop before disclaiming all love for music, or suggesting the banjo or
-bagpipe as your favorite instrument, should she dote on the opera, sing
-divinely and be a piano-pounder of no mean ability in her own person.
-
-Stop before depreciating anything the dear creature does, or tries to
-do. Eagerly demand another song, even if the screech of her first has
-ruined your tympanum, call her verses divine, if they are no better
-than Tennyson’s latest senility, swear that her favorite scent is
-yours, even if ’tis musk or garlic, and build, build as with a wand,
-the shining edifice of love!
-
-Stop right off at the idea that there may be anything hypocritical or
-insincere advised in the foregoing paragraph. If really in love, you
-will religiously believe everything you tell her, and more too.
-
-Stop, first, however, and study the character of your enchantress. All
-women are no more to be wooed alike than are all fish to be tempted
-with the same kind of bait.
-
-Stop before addressing a brainy, well-read penetrative divinity as you
-would a laughing elf, a careless, careless fay, a butterfly of mirth
-and joy. An Hypatia is not a Hebe, and reflect! Would you tempt an
-eagle with a moth-light, or a striped-bass with an eel-bob?
-
-Stop, if she be intellectual, and study up to an equality with her
-tastes, should you be her inferior. Then scientific discussions,
-with poetry as a side-dish, may gradually lead up to the delicious
-desideratum of two hearts that beat as one.
-
-Stop, however, at the error of preferring her intellectual to her
-physical charms. She is a lovely liar if she pretends to a desire for
-such preference, and your sin will be unpardonable, should you take her
-at her word.
-
-Stop, in any case, before praising another woman’s good-looks in the
-adored one’s presence. In fact, you can afford her no pleasanter
-flattery than by a systematic depreciation of a prettier woman’s
-charms.
-
-Stop, if she be a Hebe, we will say, and plunge recklessly amid her
-paucity of ideas. Flounder in folly, palpitate with persiflage, at her
-giggling beck; and here is ample opportunity for the silent eloquence
-of the nosegay, the oyster, or the iced refreshment, not less than
-for the princely prodigality of the opera, the midnight coupe and the
-church fair lottery.
-
-Stop short of any display of fear in her presence, even if you are
-timorous to the core. Let her do the shrieking at the onset of a mouse,
-but stand you as the rugged rock, the beaten anvil, or the rooted oak!
-You might even trample out a croton-bug occasionally, with a cold,
-feelingless laugh. Imperturbability in peril was never yet a masculine
-fault in gentle woman’s eyes.
-
-Stop before incurring the dislike of the fair one’s little brothers or
-sisters. The malapert maliciousness of _l’enfant terrible_ may occasion
-mortifications without number.
-
-Stop before losing your temper with a rival in your charmer’s presence.
-If you must come to blows, let it be in a retired spot, but it were
-far better to sit him out, beat him on bouquets, gum drops and
-theatre-tickets, or otherwise defeat him in the rosy lists.
-
-Stop at the one thousandth kiss, after receiving the coveted “Yes”
-from the adored one’s lips. Byron, it is true, in one of his callow
-effusions, counsels a million, but, as a conscientious Mentor, we
-prefer to draw the line somewhere even in such an emotional proceeding.
-
-Stop, discontinue the siege altogether, in case of a downright
-rejection, howsoever reluctant, howsoever tearful. Don’t put up with
-the sisterly substitute, either; but just float out grandly on the
-ebb-tide of broken hopes, until brighter eyes a welcome shine to solace
-and to cheer.
-
-Stop before imagining, if accepted, that your ordeal is now nearly at
-an end. Why, gentle sir, it hath just begun. You are now owned.
-
-Stop short at the idea that even your former devotion is still in
-order. If it was a bouquet or two per week before, it is now a
-cart-load per day; your male familiars must sigh for you in vain--your
-off-nights are things of the past; you are on exhibition, not only to
-your _fiancée’s_ family, but to the world at large; you are an engaged
-man!
-
-Stop on the verge of suicidal despair as a result of your first
-lovers’ quarrel. This is but the pepper-sauce of passion, the curry of
-courtship, the horse-radish of happiness, without which that crowning
-reflection, the kiss-gilt, teardrop-rainbowed making-up were banished
-forever from Love’s golden feast!
-
-Stop, in a general way, before making love for the fun of the thing.
-There is no meaner, more reptilian creature in society than the
-professional male flirt.
-
-Stop before yielding an iota to the allurements of a notorious
-coquette. Heartlessness is her dower, emotional misery her delight,
-falseness her stock in trade, and the ashen Dead Sea fruit the only
-reward in her power, even if she love at last.
-
-Stop before permitting your admiration of an actress, or ballet dancer,
-to glide into a master passion. Disenchantment, if desired, is mostly
-within easy reach, and you can console yourself with the reflection
-that there is far more beauty off the stage than on it.
-
-Stop short of making love at all, if you are not of an affectionate
-disposition; or, when too late--that is, when married, love will be
-likely to stop short of you.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Money Matters.
-
-
-Stop, first, and understand the value of money--the importance of never
-being without _some_ money, even if a very little.
-
-Stop, next, and understand that money is nothing in itself alone, but
-valuable and powerful only in what it will purchase and _can_ purchase.
-A pure love of it for itself, and not for what it represents, develops
-a loathsome disease--the disease of miserliness.
-
-Stop short of envying the rich, even if penniless yourself. A
-philosophical reflection as to the causes of your bad fortune,
-together with a resolve to mend it by a more enlightened course, is
-your only remedy.
-
-Stop, however, yet shorter of the vulgar, pigheaded notion that money,
-even by the ton-weight, can be everything without moral or intellectual
-backing. If this were so, wealth would be more glorious than wisdom,
-which happily, it is not.
-
-Stop before parting with money, even to an insignificant amount,
-without some sort of equivalent. This rule need not render you either
-parsimonious or uncharitable, since even alms-giving brings a return in
-the consciousness of having yielded to a kindly impulse.
-
-Stop before cultivating a hoarding spirit, and remember that,
-logically, as between the miser and the spendthrift, the latter has
-the best of the bargain. For, while the spendthrift has the selfish
-satisfaction of squandering his fortune in his own person, the miser
-is the dupe of his own self-denial, for the benefit of others who come
-after him.
-
-Stop, however, before emulating the spendthrift any more than the
-miser. If there is never any love for the scheming parsimony of the
-one, neither is there ever any gratitude for the thoughtless largesse
-of the other.
-
-Stop, and reflect well, before borrowing money under any circumstances.
-To an honest man, indebtedness is ever a double torture--self-torture
-in the haunting possibility of not being able to keep his word, and the
-torture of imagining what, in that case, will be thought of him.
-
-Stop, dead, before borrowing money that you are not sure of being able
-to repay. As for the man who borrows without the _intention_ to repay,
-he is even worse than a professional thief, and as fully deserving of
-social ostracism.
-
-Stop before becoming that unmitigated bore, a chronic borrower. He is
-at best a pitiful creature, shunned even when commiserated, and the
-strongest ties of friendship cannot long withstand the wrench of his
-proximity.
-
-Stop, even before lending money to a friend, and reflect that
-non-liquidation must cost you your money, and _may_ cost you--your
-friend.
-
-Stop, however, if you mean to grant a request for a loan, and grant it
-freely. To produce it as if extracting a wisdom-tooth, or accompany it
-with a stereotyped moral lecture on the hardness of the times, etc., is
-much like placing his request on a level with mendicancy.
-
-Stop short--indeed, as abruptly as you please--of lending money to a
-known profligate or spendthrift. The proverbial blood from a turnip may
-be sooner expected than genuine thankfulness for an accommodation from
-such a source, and the probability is that he will secretly laugh at
-you for a fool.
-
-Stop, however, and reflect well before adopting a general and
-irrevocable rule of never lending money under any circumstances. Many
-eminent men, the reverse of hard-hearted, have conscientiously adopted
-this rule, but whether it is the best, as the world goes, is a question.
-
-Stop before compromising with such a rule by offering as a gift that
-which is entreated as a loan. This is the course usually pursued by the
-eminent men alluded to above; but such a proffer is always humiliating,
-and often insulting.
-
-Stop before running in debt, even for groceries or beer, for that for
-which you can pay on the spot. It is a pernicious habit that must
-steadily engender looser and looser notions about money matters.
-
-Stop before adopting honesty as your standard merely on the immorally
-aphoristic grounds of its being the best policy. True integrity should
-stand on its merits, win or lose; whereas any shrewd rascal would be
-honest on occasion, if satisfied that he would _make_ by it.
-
-Stop, rather, and fortify your uprightness on the broad grounds, “that
-_honesty is not only the deepest policy, but the highest wisdom_; since
-however difficult it may be for integrity to get on, it is a thousand
-times more difficult for knavery to _get off_.”
-
-Stop before cultivating an inordinate desire to get rich in haste. In
-ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it will develop into a species of
-frenzy that must over-reach and defeat its aims.
-
-Stop, rather, and understand that in speculation, the prizes of the few
-are only rendered possible by the ruin of the many.
-
-Stop before setting up financial comets--that is suddenly-rich men--as
-your exemplars. The exceptional boldness, or unscrupulousness which
-constituted their _open sesame_ to dazzling fortune, may but fling
-wide, for the mediocre imitator, the doors of poverty or of the state
-prison.
-
-Stop when you have achieved a comfortable competence, and devote
-yourself to the rational enjoyment thereof. To be stacking up dollars
-and securities to the last gasp is worse than making a hell on earth;
-since it is a perversity so obtuse as to imagine that as heaven which
-is in truth a hell.
-
-Stop, and remember, that the accumulation of wealth, as a sole pursuit,
-is a diseased passion, just as much as is the craving for strong
-drink, or for the excitement of gambling.
-
-Stop, therefore, in the headlong race for money, and so intersperse
-that pursuit with knowledge and unselfish deeds, with moral and
-intellectual recreations, as shall render it the chief means, rather
-than the chief end, of a useful existence.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Guarding Against Bad Habits.
-
-
-Stop before cultivating an inordinate self-conceit, and remember that
-real worth is mostly modest, while those persons are the vainest who
-have the least to be vain of.
-
-Stop before contracting a habit of exaggeration. This is the
-stock-in-trade of the cheap penny-a-liner, while the strength of the
-true historian lies in conscientious statement.
-
-Stop short of fancying that such exaggeration can impress others with
-your imaginative powers. Were this true, the grimaces of a baboon
-might be ascribed to emotional fine frenzy.
-
-Stop before contracting the habit of lying, even in a harmless way. But
-this fault is as naturally the outgrowth of extravagance or looseness
-of statement, as is the noxious weed of the miscellaneous muck that
-stimulates it into useless being.
-
-Stop short of listlessness in word, look and deed. A perfunctory person
-is never in demand, and Rip Van Winkle only indemnified society in
-sleeping out his twenty years.
-
-Stop, and do nothing, rather than procrastinate indefinitely.
-Untrustworthiness is the final result of procrastination, and a
-reputation for that is tantamount to elimination from the world’s
-employment.
-
-Stop far short of any indulgence that can affect your general
-reputation. “The two most precious things this side the grave,” says
-_Lacon_, “are our reputation and our life; the most contemptible
-whisper may deprive us of the one, the weakest weapon of the other.”
-
-Stop the use of tobacco, if addicted to it, but especially in the form
-of chewing, the vileness of this practice is in no wise mitigated by
-its prevalence.
-
-Stop smoking, also, at its first threatened inroad upon the general
-health. To persist in it thereafter is a confession of both moral and
-mental weakness.
-
-Stop on the threshold of gambling of every description, and, if already
-in the toils, shut down on the practice with all the ponderosity at
-your command.
-
-Stop, moreover, and understand that gambling--the worship of
-chance--is death to the soul, to faith in human nature, to man’s
-nobler attributes. In this regard, it is more literally demoralizing
-than alcoholic drunkenness; and there is yet to be found the veteran
-professional gambler who is not a materialistic atheist.
-
-Stop, once more, and remember that every man who will play cards for
-money, will in time, cheat. He may set out honestly enough, but it is
-only a question of time before he will take an unfair advantage in
-_self-defense_. What, then, can be thought of a practice that almost
-necessitates dishonesty?
-
-Stop--hold! That “D--n!” upon thy lips! Would not “Confound it!” “The
-deuce take it!” or simply “Bless me!” emphasize resentment or annoyance
-equally well? Or, still better, is there any need for emphasis at all?
-
-Stop, above all, before falling into the profane habit, upon no
-provocation. A passionless, half-conscious interlarding of speech with
-oaths and epithets is as idiotic as it is disgusting.
-
-Stop on the verge of becoming anecdotal to excess. Second only to the
-confirmed scandal-bearer is the friend whose encounter one must dodge
-for fear of being made the repository of some long-winded anecdote, or
-pointless pun.
-
-Stop short of narrating indecent stories. Unfortunately, nearly all
-stories of much point that are interchanged among men are of this
-description; _ergo_, eschew the retailing of them, on your own part,
-altogether.
-
-Stop before becoming the slave of any depraved appetite. To take
-the appetite for strong drink as an illustration, it is a terrible
-enchantress--siren, bacchante, or task-mistress, at will. One can
-seldom coquette with but he marries her at last; when, like the Lamia
-of the legend, she turns to a serpent in the embrace, and her dalliance
-is despair and death.
-
-Stop before contracting a habit of belittling or sneering at what you
-do not understand. This is but the pasteboard buckler with which the
-fool would shield his self-love.
-
-Stop before habitually ascribing mean or sordid motives to others upon
-mere conjecture.
-
-Stop short of any habit that can fruitlessly waste one’s time or
-substance, since the one is more than money, because, once dissipated,
-it can never be replaced, and the other is the very means of life.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Judging Others.
-
-
-Stop before gauging a person’s capacity solely by his physiognomy.
-Lafayette’s forehead suggested idiocy, Keats, the poet, had the jaws of
-a prize-fighter, and warriors of the Salvation Army have been mistaken
-(before opening their mouths) for men of intelligence.
-
-Stop, however, before judging people altogether on antithetic grounds.
-To invariably accept a monkey-jawed, rat-eyed, ear-shadowed countenance
-as a criterion for mental profundity, for instance, or crime-sodden,
-sin-exhaling bulldog traits as suggestive of ethical culture or
-religious zeal, is hardly to be recommended.
-
-Stop before judging others, especially men, wholly by their dress and
-manners. A millionaire may be “shabby-genteel” and retiring to excess,
-whereas professional scoundrels are often notorious for a fashionable
-exterior and distinction of bearing “as to the manner born.”
-
-Stop on the verge of taking dress and ornament as a sure indication
-of a woman’s character or station. You might regret mistaking a
-quietly-attired unadorned heiress for a shirt-maker in distress; or a
-fourth-class pawnbroker’s wife, beringed and bediamonded from bang to
-belt, for a sorceress of fashion.
-
-Stop before judging people disparagingly by their eccentricities. A
-poet, for instance, may indulge in long hair, without necessarily being
-an _æsthete_ or a cowboy; the habit of talking to one’s-self is no
-proof of a guilty conscience; and absent-mindedness in many forms has
-accompanied the possession of exceptional capacity.
-
-Stop, however, before accepting such betrayals as positive indications
-of either genius, talent or brains. To do this would be to libel the
-ordinarily well-behaved people who have some respect for the amenities
-of existence.
-
-Stop, for instance, ere ascribing pure benevolence to the
-absent-mindedness that mistakes your silk umbrella for a mislaid
-gingham one, shaky in the ribs, feruled with long service, and filtery
-at the seams.
-
-Stop and draw a line likewise, at the abstraction that finds its hand
-in your pocket, or creeps in at your bedroom window, or is blandly
-oblivious as to whether it owes you money, or _vice versa_.
-
-Stop, and turn the question over in your mind: True enough, there is a
-chance of such eccentricities being the concomitants of a certain sort
-of talent, but is it exactly the sort that ought to be encouraged?
-
-Stop, if naturally dishonest or vicious yourself, and inquire if
-you can fairly judge others according to your own corrupt standard.
-This may prevent your giving yourself away, besides leavening your
-collective baseness with a grain or two of charity.
-
-Stop, however, if honest and well-meaning--and, indeed, it is mainly
-for such that this symposium of golden precepts is prepared--and
-remember, as a stimulant to careful discrimination in these things,
-that your own superficialities may be constantly and cruelly misjudged.
-
-Stop short of supposing that you have no superficialities, or but few,
-to be judged by. The visibility of existence is largely made up of
-them; it is, perhaps even well that the heart is not often worn upon
-the sleeve; and equally well that our externals are but deceptive
-indices of the springs of action, the blots and foibles they disguise,
-else were the wisest of us each other’s sport.
-
-Stop before taking mildness and retirement of manner for a want
-of resolution or courage. True greatness in anything is seldom
-self-celebrating, and it is as true as proverbial that “still waters
-run deep.”
-
-Stop, on the other hand, before setting down a strutting
-self-importance as invariably betokening a wind-bag or a nincompoop.
-Modesty is, unfortunately, not always the hand-maid of merit.
-
-Stop before mistaking ostentation for generosity, or calm acceptance
-for ingratitude. “As the mean have a calculating avarice that sometimes
-inclines them to give, so the magnanimous have a condescending
-generosity that sometimes inclines them to receive.”
-
-Stop before despising in another the demonstrativeness that you would
-despise in yourself. The babble of the brook is as natural as the
-stillness of the pool and temperamental differences are always to be
-considered.
-
-Stop before regarding extreme particularity in dress as an invariable
-evidence of intellectual insignificance. It often is so, but
-nine-tenths of the shabbily-attired men of brains would dress better if
-they could afford to.
-
-Stop on the dizzy verge of mistaking an excessive and painstaking
-courtesy for a genuine and heartfelt interest. It should rather put you
-on your guard.
-
-Stop short of the old-time cynicism of regarding every man as a rascal
-until he shall have afforded proofs to the contrary. Such a wholesale
-distrust of human nature is creditable to neither the head nor the
-heart.
-
-Stop before sweepingly condemning a discreditable action the
-temptations to which are outside your own experience. Even to “put
-yourself in his place” is not always available for the formation of
-intelligent criticism in such cases.
-
-Stop before lightly assigning reasons for another’s domestic troubles.
-The closet-skeleton is a strictly local spectre that is not the less
-terrible by reason of the narrowness of its haunting powers.
-
-Stop short of disparaging the charity that methodizes and calculates
-its smallest alms. There is an enlightened self-interest that relieves
-more real distress than all the off-handed gratuities that are bestowed.
-
-Stop before impugning self-seeking motives to a good deed that redounds
-to the doer’s advantage. Even if partly premeditated to this end, the
-result, if humanitarian in its general influence, is not the less
-useful and noble.
-
-Stop before judging a man solely by his errors or misfortunes. The
-former may have been circumstantially unavoidable, as the latter may
-have been undeserved.
-
-Stop before adopting the stereotyped, canting
-“I-might-have-told-you-so” criticism in the case of a friend who has
-fallen. The helping hand is then in order, if ever at all; and he is
-doubtless aware of the cause of his disgrace, without your telling him.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Recreation.
-
-
-Stop before making a regular business of any form of diversion, which
-then ceases to be either recreative or relaxing, and but adds to the
-tissue-waste that should be restored.
-
-Stop, next, and consider that recreation, in its literal and best
-sense, is something more than relaxation. More than to merely loosen,
-slacken and remit, to recreate is to revive, reanimate, recuperate and
-build up afresh.
-
-Stop, therefore, before playing billiards or pool every night for five
-or six hours at a stretch, under the mistaken notion that you are
-combining recreation with amusement.
-
-Stop, rather, and consider if the nervous tension produced by an
-unremitting desire to win, and thus saddle your adversary with the cost
-of the game, may not be greater than the wear and tear of the routine
-business from which you are seeking relief.
-
-Stop short of the error that billiards in public is a wholly innocent
-diversion, when candid reflection must convince you to the contrary.
-The associations are mostly the reverse of refined, the gambling
-principle is necessarily involved, and say what you will, non-success
-is ever attended by a sense of exasperation.
-
-Stop wondering why you don’t feel freshened up for business after a
-ten hours’ siege of whisky-poker, uninterrupted cigars, and consequent
-loss of sleep.
-
-Stop before fancying chess-playing as any sort of relaxation whatever
-from mental exertion. The game, being a constant mental exercise,
-in itself should form a diversion from physical, rather than from
-intellectual, over-work.
-
-Stop short of daily conviviality after business hours. The idea that
-regular rum or beer-guzzling, even with the merriest of companions, can
-be sooner or latter anything but injurious is either hypocritical or
-ridiculous.
-
-Stop, likewise, short of spreeing as a relief from business cares.
-Indeed, as between the hebdomadal hurrah and the diurnal hoist, the
-distinction is so thoroughly relative to the confessedly evil effects
-in both cases as not to be worthy of consideration.
-
-Stop before seeking recreation in low resorts. Give them all a wide
-berth--concert-saloons, dives, dens, hells, houses of ill-repute,
-bucket-shops, slums, cribs, joints--all! and remember that what is
-essentially debasing can never reanimate exhaustion or repair fatigue.
-
-Stop before patronizing a low performance of any description.
-Dog-fights, rat-baitings, cocking-mains, _et al._, are happily
-surreptitious now, but there are equally immoral exhibitions still in
-vogue to tempt the thoughtless and unwary.
-
-Stop before seeking recreation in sensuous performances or spectacles.
-True, the ballet is often fascinating, but--Well, let the line be
-drawn sharply just after the ballet, at all events.
-
-Stop before attempting either skating, bicycling, or horse-back
-exercise in public, as a gentle and graceful relaxation, when wholly
-inexperienced, if you would both corruscate and career.
-
-Stop before making a specialty of any kind of recreation that is beyond
-your means. Otherwise, you may not infrequently exclaim, with _Hamlet_,
-“For O, for O, the hobby-horse is forgot!”
-
-Stop at the yawning abyss of resorting to opium, or any similar drug,
-as a relief from care. As the alcoholic habit has been likened to an
-enchantress, a circean witch, so the opium habit is a dream-woman, the
-sorceress of a phantom realm, elysian at first, but changing at last
-into a horror-haunted sphere that appals the spirit while it tortures
-and consumes the frame.
-
-Stop before applying yourself to excessive gymnastics as a relaxation,
-if a horse-car conductor or a letter-carrier. Variety is the spice of
-life.
-
-Stop, if engaged in wholly intellectual pursuits, before reading dry
-and statistical books, such as Patent Reports, as a pleasing and
-hilarious change.
-
-Stop before joining a club with whose objects you are unfamiliar. To
-find yourself unawares, for instance, in the bosom of a hoodlum coterie
-when in search of Christian refinement, or unexpectedly affiliated
-with a Bible society when thirsting for roaring and convivial
-companionship, would be alike uncongenial.
-
-Stop before seeking recreation in travel, if without money. True,
-commercial drummers and tramps have attained some success in this
-field, but neither the talents of the one class nor the methods of the
-other are to be cordially recommended.
-
-Stop before indulging in the rougher athletic sports for which you are
-physically unqualified. Study your capacities well--take in the entire
-athletic range, from jackstraws to Indian clubs, from the bean-bag to
-foot-ball--and discriminate for all you are worth.
-
-Stop before instituting any home-amusement that shall bind you to the
-house of evenings forever thereafter. You might really want to go
-out and “see a man,” but the excuse would avail you little with the
-charming home-game awaiting your patronage.
-
-Stop before frequenting any lounging place, be it beer-saloon or
-cigar-shop, so much as to become a figure-head of the premises. Not to
-loaf at all is an excellent general rule.
-
-Stop before attempting recreation “on the road” in an ultra-economical
-way. A livery-stable plug, hobbling ambitiously before a battered
-sleigh or antediluvian buggy, in the midst of swell turn-outs and
-speeding teams, would doubtless cause something of a sensation, but
-would it be of the most enviable kind?
-
-Stop short of seeking mental repose by attending “excursions” in which
-bibulous feats and glee-club improvisations bid fair to make up the
-chief fund of amusement.
-
-Stop short of practical jokes as a relief for the work-oppressed brain.
-As between jok_er_ and jok_ee_, the entertainment is mostly altogether
-with the former, and one-sided or top-heavy diversions are both selfish
-and untimely.
-
-Stop, and be sure that you have a work-oppressed brain, before rushing
-wildly into any recreation whatever. The former is often imaginary,
-or a hypocritical excuse for demanding a pastime, which is then, as a
-consequence, apt to prove much harder work than play.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In The Domestic Relations.
-
-
-Stop short of thinking that marriage and settlement in life can acquit
-you of the tenderness and reverence due your parents, even if they
-are well-to-do. It is a moral obligation which, contracted at your
-birth, should cease not even with their death, but live on and on, an
-evergreen of the memory, an amaranth of the heart.
-
-Stop before reserving for the bosom of your own family the fits of
-ill-temper that you would be ashamed of if public. This is putting your
-own household on a level with a private bear-garden, whose limited
-spectators cannot be over-grateful for the privilege accorded.
-
-Stop short of supposing that your wife is anything less than an equal
-partner in the hymeneal firm. Even if she came to you penniless, the
-idea that she is thenceforth indebted to you for home, position or
-freedom from care, is a barbarism fortunately obsolete in this country.
-
-Stop, likewise, short of the imported notion, also obsolete, that
-she _belongs_ to you other than by the free heart-gift that inspired
-her marriage vows, or that she is in any sense your property. The
-cherishing of such a sentiment is degrading alike to husband and wife.
-
-Stop before denying to your wife the right to have little secrets of
-her own, if you claim the same privilege for yourself. A loving and
-trusted wife will have no important secrets apart from her husband.
-
-Stop short of altogether distrusting her in money matters. Even if
-she have but little common sense in such things, her wifehood is a
-responsibility for which you are responsible, and which cannot be
-wholly nullified without humiliating her.
-
-Stop short of denying her the possession of some pocket-money of her
-own, if but very little. “During my married life,” said a prominent
-lecturer on woman’s rights, “I never had a cent of pocket-money that I
-was not forced to _steal_ from my husband.” And this statement will
-evoke more reflection than censure in the thoughtful mind.
-
-Stop before grumblingly supplying the household demands. This practice
-of growling over a domestic expenditure, which is but a tithe of what
-your next “good time with the boys” will cost you, is more prevalent
-than sensible.
-
-Stop before placing any one over your wife’s head in her own house. Be
-it mother-in-law, sister-in-law, or any one else, the course is alike
-risky and unwise.
-
-Stop before cultivating a dislike or niggardliness for your wife’s
-passion for dress, if it is accompanied by a refined taste and an
-earnest desire to be within what you can afford. Fine feathers may not
-always make fine birds, but a naturally attractive woman is undeniably
-more lovable and attractive when tastefully attired than otherwise.
-
-Stop long before relinquishing, after marriage, the delicate little
-attentions and sacrifices that were so acceptable during your
-courtship. A lover-husband will make a sweetheart-wife, and for such
-the honey-moon need have no wane.
-
-Stop, however, dead short of uxoriousness to a degree that shall excite
-a smile or comment. The former is apt to be exasperating, and the
-latter of a nature the reverse of soothing to your _amour propre_.
-
-Stop before developing a womanish desire to interfere with domestic
-arrangements outside of your province. In other words, never be what
-your wife might call a “cock-biddy,” and your cook “an intermiddling
-mon.”
-
-Stop before developing a fault-finding disposition with the cooking
-or other accommodations, or first be sure that you are not more
-responsible for the faults than your wife.
-
-Stop short of concealing the fact from your wife, if she is falling
-unconsciously into slovenly and unkempt personal habits when only in
-your presence. Let her but comprehend that this is a wifely neglect
-that has driven many a husband into neater but unscrupulous feminine
-society, and speedy amendment must follow.
-
-Stop before holding your wife accountable for every little smile or
-frankness accorded to her antenuptial admirers. ’Tis the watched fire
-that languishes; and, should she meditate treason, she would not hint
-it by so much as a rush-light.
-
-Stop before letting her know it, if you find out that your marriage
-has been a mistake. Doubtless this will make itself felt, despite your
-utmost precautions, and her sufferings in making the sad discovery will
-then challenge your compunction, your pity and your redoubled devotion,
-if you are a true man.
-
-Stop before laughing at piety in your wife, even if an infidel
-yourself. “Wise men like to have pious wives,” says Emerson, “and it is
-well for all concerned that it should be so.”
-
-Stop before betraying your weaknesses to your children. Even a
-hypocritical assumption of a morality that you do not always practice
-is preferable to self-exposure in this regard.
-
-Stop before correcting them in the presence of outsiders. The
-self-respect of a little child, once wounded to the quick, is long in
-healing; and some consideration is due, moreover, to the outsiders.
-
-Stop before punishing a child when influenced by anger. The punishment
-then ceases to be corrective, and is only resentful; whereas the
-helplessness of the child should of itself evoke but magnanimity.
-
-Stop, when thus impelled by anger, and reflect if you would as readily
-seek to gratify it, were no such disparity existent--that is, where
-the child as big and powerful as yourself.
-
-Stop before threatening a chastisement that you don’t intend to
-inflict. Or, if you must persist in this course, don’t ascribe the
-continued disobedience, which is its inevitable outgrowth, to anything
-but your own weakness.
-
-Stop short of deception or untruth in your dealings with your children,
-if you would impress them with the opposite sentiments.
-
-Stop, in this regard, and reflect that, if the childish mind is wax
-to early impressions, it is of a kind that hardens with the imprint,
-and that from the hardening process spring the imitation and the
-_emulation_, which must gradually corrupt or ennoble, as the case may
-be.
-
-Stop before assuming a bullying tone or attitude toward your family or
-your domestics. Vaporings of this description are always in wretched
-taste, and a home-circle that must needs be terrorized is little to be
-envied.
-
-Stop before living beyond, or even quite up to your means, and be not
-ambitious to make an outside show at the expense of internal comfort.
-
-Stop short of lessening the significance of old-time festivities, such
-as Thanksgiving Day, Christmas, New Year’s and birth-day observances,
-simply because you have yourself outgrown their zest.
-
-Stop before repressing any innocent propensity to _gush_ on the part
-of your wife or children. It is a chill home-fountain that will not
-occasionally overflow.
-
-Stop, if possible, before ever disturbing your family peace with even
-so much as an unkind or hasty word. The pretty lines,
-
- “We have greeting words for the stranger,
- And smiles for the sometime guest,
- But oft for Our Own the bitter tone.
- Though we love Our Own the best,”
-
-should never be pertinent in a wise man’s household.
-
-Stop before assuming an oracular or infallible attitude--in other
-words, setting yourself up as a small god--before your own family. Ten
-to one, it is an assumption that you cannot maintain with any degree
-of consistency, and one which may entail a humiliating back-down when
-least expected.
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Business Life.
-
-
-Stop short of attempting a business enterprise wholly beyond
-your mental and financial equipment. To attempt the _rôle_ of a
-railroad magnate, for instance, when you have the soul of a licensed
-fish-vender, or the manipulation of a government loan with hardly
-enough capital for a fruit-stand, would be more ambitious than wise.
-
-Stop before adopting rigorous and unbending methods that, under a
-change of fortune, can be quoted against you to your disadvantage.
-Thus, to never lend money, on principle, when prosperous, but be
-perfectly willing to borrow it when broke, might subject you to
-unpleasant comment.
-
-Stop before assuming a domineering, Jovian tone toward those with less
-money than you, even if you have a corner on the market. Men are often
-like rats in this, that they fight when they are cornered.
-
-Stop when already so deep into a hopeless speculation that you can’t
-beg or borrow another cent, when certain ruin stares you in the face,
-and even your pawn-tickets are at a discount. Forlorn hopes are only
-practicable in serial stories and war.
-
-Stop, even at the height of prosperity, and make sure of the future by
-settling upon your family a competence that shall thenceforth forever
-be secured to them, come what may. This prudent course, feasible and
-honorable during prosperity, would be just the reverse if deferred
-until after business disaster may have come.
-
-Stop short of imagining that there is any more _luck_ in a legitimate
-business than in games of chance--in other words, that there is any at
-all. Or, if there is any, it consists of superior energy, foresight,
-shrewdness and application, wherein, of course, the stronger wins while
-the weaker goes to the wall.
-
-Stop, and reflect well, before venturing outside of a legitimate,
-fairly-paying business upon the sea of speculation, which is in reality
-but gambling under another name.
-
-Stop before cultivating a reputation for either over-credulity or
-relentless hard bargaining in business life. The one will be abused,
-while the other will foster enmities through the abuse it practices.
-
-Stop short of uncompromising martinetism toward your employees.
-Our clerks, for instance, can no longer be treated as apprentices;
-many of them are rich men in embryo; and with what satisfaction and
-gratitude do powerful millionaires often recall slight kindnesses and
-encouragements received from their employers when they were nothing but
-obscure clerks or office-boys!
-
-Stop before choosing business quarters of a magnitude and pretension
-wholly out of keeping with your trade and custom. There is a laughable
-case in point, in the upper part of New York, where a diminutive,
-tumble-down junk-shop displays a flaring sign with the preposterous
-legend: “Great American Mammoth Junk Emporium.”
-
-Stop before advertising your commodities for something better than they
-really are. This is to cheat yourself in the long run, for the average
-of public buyers rarely allow themselves to be deliberately swindled
-twice by the same liar.
-
-Stop short of supposing that the hackneyed phrase, “Business is
-business,” can ever excuse a downright dishonest transaction in the
-opinion of _all_ your business acquaintances.
-
-Stop, therefore, before setting the majority of them down as secretly
-unprincipled, and vaunting their uprightness as a mask. Money-loving as
-they are, the majority of those whose good opinion is worth having are
-personally honest at the core.
-
-Stop short of being dazzled by mere business success, irrespective of
-questionable or dangerous methods by which it may have been achieved.
-Unless the means shall have justified the result, there can be no
-praiseworthy success.
-
-Stop short of supposing that spasmodic cleverness can ever take the
-place of solid method, organized effort and settled application in any
-respectable calling.
-
-Stop, and go easy before provoking a powerful business hostility,
-if possible, but never to the sacrifice of a true principle;
-and, war being fully declared (_i.e._, competition, ruthless and
-uncompromising), let it be to the knife, to the bitter end, till the
-last pecuniary sinew snaps!
-
-[Illustration]
-
-[Illustration]
-
-
-
-
-In Thought, Word and Deed.
-
-
-Stop before even thinking unworthily. Not to entertain in the mind what
-you would blush to speak or put in writing is an excellent general rule
-of ethics.
-
-Stop before nourishing a pride of nationality. This is even more
-unreasonable than the pride of ancestry, for the greatness of the
-latter may be in some degree inherited, while for the mere accident of
-birth-_place_ a man is as irresponsible as he is unentitled to plume
-himself upon historical greatness in the abstract.
-
-Stop, also, before cherishing even a pride of race. This is wholly
-distinct from the virtue of Patriotism, in its best sense; is opposed
-to the enlightened spirit of the age; and is one of the narrowest of
-prejudices.
-
-Stop short of despising public spirit in others, or eliminating it from
-your own calculations. The most insignificant pot-house politician
-is of more worldly use than the most gifted misanthrope. No amount
-of selfish seclusion or isolation can absolve one from his duty of
-fellowship.
-
-Stop before making butts of others, especially by reason of personal
-peculiarities for which they are in no wise responsible. The old
-aphorism about stone-throwing in relation to glass domiciles is always
-in order; and even a natural-born fool is more to be pitied than
-ridiculed.
-
-Stop putting in words that which you would not do, or putting in
-writing that which you would not sign.
-
-Stop, and remember that an ill-considered angry word may, on the breath
-of hearsay, become a winged seed, from which shall spring a poisonous
-upas growth, whose deadly influence could not have been dreamed of at
-its inception.
-
-Stop before falling into apathy, before becoming a do-nothing, through
-discouragements. “A great mind,” says _Lacon_, “may change its objects,
-but it cannot relinquish them; it must have something to pursue.
-Variety is its relaxation, and amusement its repose.”
-
-Stop short of being painstaking to excess in what you would pass off
-as improvised. Over-elaboration in this regard may be likened to
-the dishabille in which a coquette would wish you to think you have
-surprised her, after spending hours at her toilet.
-
-Stop short of supposing that rascality can be as uniformly logical
-as honesty. Villains are usually the worst casuists, and rush into
-_greater_ crimes to avoid _less_.
-
-Stop, in combating the World, and reflect that by resisting its
-temptations you master the secret of ultimately possessing its noblest
-prizes, the respect of your fellows, and the proudest self-respect in
-having successfully withstood not in order to achieve, but from a sense
-of moral duty.
-
-Stop, in resisting the allurements of the Flesh, and consider that
-by subjecting them to the yoke of reason, your capacity for rational
-fleshly enjoyment is both intensified and prolonged.
-
-Stop, in fighting the Devil (_i.e._, moral perverseness,) and remember
-that your victory will be evidence of moral balance on your own part,
-rather than of faint-heartedness on His Inky Majesty’s. And you may
-likewise recall with complacency Emerson’s indictment, where he says,
-“It stands to reason that the Devil is an ass.”
-
-Stop, after having fairly floored the Machiavellian triumvirate, the
-World, the Flesh and the Devil, and candidly confess that you might
-have fared worse but for the precepts and injunctions laid down in this
-little book.
-
-
-THE END.
-
-
-
-
- A GREAT HIT.
-
- A NAUGHTY GIRL’S DIARY
-
- ---BY---
-
- AUTHOR OF
-
- “A Bad Boy’s Diary.”
-
- _FULL OF FUN._
-
- Price 50 cents.
-
-
-[Transcriber’s Note:
-
-Inconsistent spelling and hyphenation are as in the original.]
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Stop!, by Nathan Dean Urner
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Stop!, by Nathan Dean Urner
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-
-
-
-Title: Stop!
- A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience and Portable Guardian
- against the World, the Flesh and the Devil
-
-Author: Nathan Dean Urner
-
-Release Date: November 3, 2016 [EBook #53443]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
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-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STOP! ***
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-</pre>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<img id="coverpage" src="images/cover.jpg" alt="" />
-</div>
-
-<h1>
-Stop!<br />
-
-<span class="large table"><i>A Handy Monitor and<br />
-Pocket Conscience.</i></span><br />
-
-<span class="large">THE NEW “COLTON’S LACON.”</span><br />
-
-<span class="medium">By Author of NEVER and ALWAYS.</span>
-</h1>
-
-<p class="ph1">
-<span class="x-large">MRS. MARY J. HOLMES’ NOVELS</span><br />
-
-<span class="large">Over a MILLION Sold</span><br />
-
-<span class="large">THE NEW BOOK</span><br />
-
-Queenie Hetherton<br />
-
-<span class="large"><i>JUST OUT</i>.</span><br />
-
-<span class="large gesperrt">For Sale Everywhere</span><br />
-
-<span class="large">Price, $1.50.</span><br />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_1">1</span></p>
-
-<div class="ph1">
-STOP!<br />
-
-<span class="x-large table"><i>A Handy Monitor, Pocket Conscience<br />
-and Portable Guardian<br />
-against the World,<br />
-the Flesh and the<br />
-Devil.</i></span><br />
-
-<p class="medium table">“Stop! To pause, knock off, let up, cheese it, switch off, give
-it a rest, cut short, stand like a rock, kick against, shut down, bring up
-with a round turn, hold hard,” etc.&mdash;<span class="smcap">Thesaurus</span>.</p>
-
-<p class="medium">“What would you, sir? I pray you <i>stop</i>, nor yield a hair to vicious
-promptings!”&mdash;<span class="smcap">Moliere</span>.</p>
-
-<span class="large smcap">By MENTOR.</span><br />
-<span class="medium">AUTHOR OF “NEVER” AND “ALWAYS.”</span><br />
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/colophon.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<span class="copy table">NEW YORK:<br />
-COPYRIGHT, 1884, BY<br />
-<i>G. W. Carleton &amp; Co., Publishers</i>.<br />
-LONDON: S. LOW &amp; CO.<br />
-MDCCCLXXXIV.</span>
-</div>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">2</span></p>
-
-<p class="copy">
-Stereotyped by<br />
-<span class="smcap">Samuel Stodder,<br />
-42 Dey Street, N. Y.</span><br />
-</p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">3</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i005.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-
-<h2 id="Introduction"><i>Introduction.</i></h2>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/tb.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<p class="drop"><i><span class="uppercase">The</span> pining need of a work of this kind&mdash;an
-instructive sharpener in book-form, as it
-were, of the moral faculty&mdash;has long been so
-seriously felt that the author eagerly hastens to
-supply it.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>In</i> “<span class="smcap">Never</span>” <i>and</i> “<span class="smcap">Always</span>,” <i>his appeal
-was rather to the externalities of life. In</i>
-“<span class="smcap">Stop</span>,” <i>his aim is to regulate the very springs
-of impulse, deliberation and resolve. In other</i>
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">4</span>
-<i>words, there is not a temptation that he would
-not strip of its disguise, not an unworthy motive
-that he would not pulverize as with a corrective
-club, not a misleading conceit that he would
-not skewer to its squirming source.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Although the pearls of thought and monitory
-gems herewith presented are intended mainly for
-young men just entering upon the great work of
-life, there is neither man nor maid, stripling nor
-patriarch, saphead nor sage who may not scramble
-for them with avidity, and glory in their possession.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Young man, are you hesitating in the choice
-of a vocation? A reference to the admonitions
-under this head in</i> “<span class="smcap">Stop</span>” <i>may be the means of
-your becoming a Millionaire, a Police Magistrate</i>
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">5</span>
-<i>or an ornament to society. Are you in love, or
-willing to be? A consultation of the advice at
-your command may place you in such hobnobbing,
-soul-wedded relations with the rosy god as shall
-cause you to charm, to captivate, and finally to
-wrest the rapt, responsive throb from Beauty’s
-battlemented heart. Are you a driveling idiot
-in money matters? Imbibe, and be wise. And
-so on, through all the departments of existence.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>Thus, panoplied, as it were, against the
-World, the Flesh and the Devil, you might eventually,
-in an agony of gratitude and wonderment,
-eulogize the author in the significant words of
-Hamlet, slightly altered, to the following effect:</i></p>
-
-<p><i>“’Sblood! he plays on me easier than on a
-pipe! He would seem to know my</i> <span class="smcap">Stops</span>; <i>he</i>
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">6</span>
-<i>would pluck out the heart of my mystery; he
-would sound me from my lowest notes to the top
-of my compass; there is so much music, excellent
-voice and incomparable counsel in this little
-book!”</i></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i008.jpg" alt="" />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">7</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i009.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="Contents"><i>Contents.</i></h2>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/tb.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<table>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Choosing_a_Vocation">In Choosing a Vocation</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">9</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_General_Deportment">In General Deportment</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">19</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Love_Affairs">In Love Affairs</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">27</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Money_Matters">In Money Matters</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">39</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Guarding_Against_Bad">In Guarding Against Bad Habits</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">48</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Judging_Others">In Judging Others</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">55</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Recreation">In Recreations</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">64</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_The_Domestic_Relations">In the Domestic Relations</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">73</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Business_Life">In Business Life</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">84</td>
- </tr>
- <tr>
- <td><a href="#In_Thought_Word_and">In Thought, Word and Deed</a></td>
- <td class="tdr">91</td>
- </tr>
-</table>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">8</span></p>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">9</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i011.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<p class="ph1">Stop!</p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/tb.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Choosing_a_Vocation">In Choosing a Vocation.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, first, and reflect what you are fit
-for. To rush recklessly into an occupation
-of which you are as ignorant as
-a horse is of music, is not to be thought
-of.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, next, and consider if what you have
-in view is respectable. Or, if too much
-of an ass to distinguish between banking
-and bunco, for instance, read up
-carefully on horse-sense.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">10</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, again, and be sure that your choice
-is in keeping with your capacity. To
-essay one of the learned professions if
-wholly uneducated, speculative pursuits
-if a natural born fool, or hod-carrying
-if lily-handed, spindle-propped
-and wasp-waisted, is hardly a proof of
-intellectuality.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, your career being chosen, to master
-its rudiments before essaying its higher
-walks. Rome was not built in a day,
-nor is any vocation a spring-board to
-waft you into the empyrean at the
-primary bounce.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop long enough to master the rule of
-“addition, division and silence,” if seeking
-political preferrment, or employment
-as a confidential clerk.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop long enough in one vocation to give
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">11</span>
-it a fair trial. Jacks-of-all-trades&mdash;men
-who are studying law in the morning,
-counter-hopping after dinner, peddling
-soap to-day, starting a bank to-morrow&mdash;are
-seldom successful.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and ponder deeply, before becoming
-that pitiable object, a professional office-seeker.
-Rather sink your independence
-of thought and action at once by marrying
-for money, or toadying upon a
-rich relative.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if a lawyer’s office-boy, before intruding
-your legal views upon your employer’s
-graver consultations. Think!
-Should you excite his professional envy
-at the outset?</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if beginning as a dry-goods clerk,
-before imagining yourself a silent partner
-in the concern, with your four dollars
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">12</span>
-a week as its chief investment.
-Self-respect is one thing, unmitigated,
-idiotic asininity another.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if at the tape-and-shoestrings counter,
-before aspiring to the glittering
-generalities of the ribbons and laces, or
-the grave responsibilities of the white-goods
-department. The cares of these
-high functions may surpass your conception,
-and we must creep before we
-climb.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before entering the ministry, if without
-religious convictions, a sacrilegious
-scoffer, and morally depraved.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the ragged edge of the fallacy
-that your place, or any man’s cannot be
-filled by another. When men die, as
-they all must, are their places not always
-filled?
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">13</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the brink of blatant, unaccredited,
-irresponsible quackery in anything, but
-especially if desirous of becoming a
-disciple of Hippocrates.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if contemplating a banking career,
-and inquire if you have a mathematical
-mind and attainments. A vague acquaintance
-with the rule of three, together
-with a mouth-watering desire for
-colossal wealth, cannot alone enable
-you to rival the wizards of finance.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before setting up on your own account,
-unless thoroughly in earnest.
-Even a peanut-stand may be dignified
-by business energy and perseverance.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short, bring up with a round turn, at
-any inducement, however dazzling, that
-is not strictly honest. You can better
-afford to be mediocre than obnoxious.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">14</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and consider well, before taking up
-a patent lightning-rod. Agents are already
-numerous, and farmers’ dogs on
-the alert.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, before joining the army of commercial
-drummers, and be sure that you
-possess three qualifications in a superlative
-degree, <i>i.e.</i>: cheek, pertinacity and
-the gift of gab.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, should you become a drummer, at
-the nineteenth lie in support of one line
-of goods. Mendacity hath its limits,
-and even the credulity of a yokel may
-be gorged.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the giddy verge of over-estimate
-in any business. “Hope,” says <i>Lacon</i>,
-“is a prodigal young heir, and experience
-is his banker; but his drafts are
-seldom honored, because he draws
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">15</span>
-largely on a small capital, is not yet in
-possession, and if he were, would <i>die</i>.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, indignantly repel, all inducements
-on the part of advertising sharks. Their
-name is legion, and they seek but to
-devour.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, howsoever tempted, at the allurements
-of roguery, embezzlement, rascality,
-and satanic suggestions of every
-description. If you must be a cutpurse
-let it be on the broad highway, pistol
-in hand, dime-novel at heart, and the
-gallows in sight.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if contemplating a political career,
-and distinctly settle this question in
-your mind: Am I to boss the party, or
-is the party to boss me? There is
-nothing like avoiding a confusion of
-ideas.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">16</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, next, and be certain that your ambition
-is not o’erleaping its aim. Pluck
-bright honor from the pale-faced moon,
-if possible, but to make a dead set for
-the Presidency and bring up as a police-court
-janitor, or coroner’s assistant, is
-apt to prove discouraging.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, even if rich, before entering upon
-pleasure as a business. Few constitutions
-can long stand the racket, <i>ennui</i>
-is the result, and premature death its
-bourne.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before entering the literary profession,
-if devoid of imagination, a proverbial
-fool, and with but a lazy comprehension
-of orthography, grammar and
-syntax.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, next, and ask yourself, what great
-author, dead or living, shall I emulate?
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">17</span>
-Then, be your model Shakespeare or
-Bartley Campbell, Thackeray or Tupper,
-Byron or the <i>Burlington Hawkeye</i>,
-stick to your ideal, revel in ink and
-starve for glory.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if of a dramatic turn, before absolutely
-forcing a manager to produce
-your play. There are, unfortunately,
-legal safeguards for even this species of
-credulous, unsophisticated, professionals.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and reflect profoundly, before
-adopting pugilism as a vocation, if constitutionally
-weak in the back, color-blind,
-short-winded, and timid to pusillanimity.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before deciding upon a histrionic
-career, until satisfied that you are not
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">18</span>
-better fitted for an auction-room or a
-junk-shop.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in any calling, long enough to become
-familiar with the foot of the ladder
-before clawing ineffectually at the
-top-round. Beginning at the top, to
-come down with a rush, is reserved for
-millionaires’ sons, holders of winning
-lottery-tickets and cat’s-paws of nominating
-conventions.</p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i020.jpg" alt="" />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">19</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i021.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_General_Deportment">In General Deportment.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop at the assumption of a supercilious,
-ducal air, especially if small of stature,
-monkey-brained and impecunious. This
-is solely the privilege of floor-walkers,
-brained midgets and actresses’ husbands.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, if tall and commanding,
-before cultivating a creeping,
-crushed demeanor, unless you are a colporteur
-or dog-stealer.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the brink of wholly disregarding
-the prevailing fashions. Knee-breeches,
-shoe-buckles, a powdered wig, and a
-swallow-tailed coat, with the waist-buttons
-between the shoulder-blades, would
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">20</span>
-stamp you as an eccentric at the present
-day.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before despising the requirements of
-the seasons. A straw-hat in a snow-storm,
-for instance, would excite remark.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop when vanity counsels an excess of
-ornament. To exhibit a jewel or two
-with judgment is one thing, to groan
-under a clanking avoirdupois of gauds
-and trinkets another.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop at the claims of both a cadaverous
-gravity and a causeless facetiousness of
-demeanor. Neither the belfry owl nor
-the proverbial basket of chips should be
-your model in this regard.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of unnecessary violence
-in word and deed. Resent, if you must,
-without preliminary roaring. The deadly
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">21</span>
-submarine torpedo is terrible in its
-explosion, but less noisy than the harmless
-bursting of an inflated paper-bag.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before criticising what you do not
-understand. The bore indulging in
-this species of idiocy is deserving of an
-enforced association with numerous
-mothers-in-law in a whisper-gallery.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, indeed, snap your jaws to like a
-spring-trap, at the very suggestion of
-an oath or low expression. “Profanity,”
-says <i>Lacon</i>, “never yet dignified
-wrath nor emphasized a great purpose.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before indulging in covert sneers.
-Indeed, “a good, mouth-filling oath” is
-preferable, because less hypocritical,
-but an ungarnished assertion is better
-than either.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before meanly insinuating what
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">22</span>
-should be plainly spoken. Even if a
-man owes you money, which you think
-he ought to pay, tell him so, or ask for
-an explanation, instead of conveying
-your meaning through an allusion to
-his current expense or new clothes.
-This is the course of a sneak and a
-coward.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and bewail the abolition of
-imprisonment for debt, or tell him that
-he ought to live cheaply and go in rags
-until he liquidates.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before assuming a rasping, file-edged,
-whip-in-hand demeanor toward your dependents
-or inferiors. Apart from its
-villainously bad taste, the whirligig of
-time may bring about a transposition of
-relations, and then where are you?</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, ere adopting a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">23</span>
-groveling, sycophantic, ultra-ingratiating
-manner with your superiors. “The
-flavor that can only be won by fawning
-servility is seldom of great worth.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before persisting in a style of laugh
-that can betray your motives to your
-disadvantage. The “He, he, he!” of
-hypocrisy is as patent as the “Haw,
-haw, haw!” of the windbag.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop at an unwarranted ostentation of
-speech and bearing. The dung-hill
-bird is distinguished quite as much by
-his strut as by his vociferousness.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in addressing a woman, and consider
-the privilege of her sex, even if she may
-have aggrieved you.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, before over-whelming
-her with an excess of courtesy.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">24</span>
-Over-attentiveness to women always inspires
-a suspicion as to its motive.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before retailing a scandal, even if
-convinced of its truth. This is the province
-of the incorrigible gossip and the
-newspaper reporter, with neither of
-whom you can hope to cope.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the threshold of a temptation to
-distort the truth. Plausibility in lying
-is an art in which but few can earn distinction.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before disputing a fact, however distasteful,
-that can be proved by statistical
-evidence. Figures are not apt to
-lie, save on gas-metres.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before adhering to an error through
-a mistaken sense of shame. “Who acknowledgeth
-his error showeth an increase
-of wisdom; who stubbornly adhereth
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">25</span>
-to what hath been disproved confesseth
-himself a fool.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of the conceit that irresistibility
-with the fair sex depends on good-looks
-alone. The manners make the
-man.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before aping the characteristics of another,
-however exalted. The gesticulations
-of the Frenchman would be unseemly
-in the staid Hidalgo, and that
-which would be a pleasing originality
-in one might be a preposterous parody
-in the imitator.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of the notion that wiseacre
-looks and frigidity of manner will always
-be indicative of reserved force and intellectual
-acumen. The owl is the
-solemnest and likewise the stupidest of
-birds.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">26</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, whenever in moral doubt or distress,
-and consult the masterly advice and
-sage promptings of this jewel of a book.
-It shall be unto you “as rivers of water
-in a dry place, or the shadow of a great
-rock in a weary land.”</p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i028.jpg" alt="" />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">27</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i029.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Love_Affairs">In Love Affairs.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop!&mdash;That burning thought&mdash;that delirium
-in thy heart&mdash;as to the lovely
-being whose image is before thee night
-and day&mdash;is it such as her modesty and
-virtue, her seraphic guilelessness should
-inspire? if not, away with it&mdash;blot it
-out!</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop! Was she rather plain than peerless,
-and is it the thought of her father’s
-bonds and shekels that now summons
-the enamored hectic to thy virile cheek?
-Away with it, likewise, and for shame!
-Shall blood with boodle blend&mdash;emotion
-cringe at Mammon’s beck&mdash;and Love
-be unavenged?
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">28</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop! Stay yet again thy headlong
-plunge! Was she yet lovely, an houri
-of a dream, but still beneath thee in
-family, station, fortune, and didst therefore
-smile but to deceive? If so, hold
-hard, hug this sweet volume to thy
-heart of hearts, and sin no more!</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and meditate upon the three foregoing
-paragraphs, for in them are embodied
-the cardinal principles in making
-love: Purity of purpose, Disinterestedness
-and Truth.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop for some encouragement before
-rendering your attentions universally
-conspicuous. A glance of the eye, a
-tremor of the lip, the merest shadow of
-a blush upon the seashell-tinted cheek,
-will suffice.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if such subtle signs are wanting or
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">29</span>
-withheld, and plan some deep-laid
-scheme to unveil heart’s predilection,
-indifference, or dislike. Oysters and
-ice-cream are still available in their respective
-seasons.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before mistaking a passing fancy for
-a wild, consuming maddening, over-mastering,
-star-jostling passion. This
-mistake has evoked more paternal
-walking-sticks and breach-of-promise
-suits than would keep a French novelist
-in subject-matter for a twelvemonth.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, after falling head over ears in love,
-to collect your senses and formulate
-your plans. An inconsiderate, maniacal
-rush into a declaration is often repented
-at leisure.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if not certain of your ground, before
-wholly unmasking your batteries.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">30</span>
-Delicate attentions, even worshiping,
-awe-struck glances from afar, are time-old
-preliminaries, but none the less
-effective.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, on the threshold of feverish
-demonstration at the outset. Furnace-like
-sighs, dazed, dumb-founded
-looks, like those of an expiring calf, and
-frenzied bodily contortions may be
-brought to bear in their own good
-time.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of opposing her tastes and convictions.
-To gently chime with them,
-whether you have any of your own or
-not, while preserving a vigorous masculinity
-in favor of quail-gorging, head-punching
-and kindred noble sports, is
-in the main commendable.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before vaunting a wild, atheistical
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">31</span>
-or Ingersollian contempt for all things
-sacred, if she should be of a deeply religious
-turn. However, this is not to
-prescribe a regular biblical course, a
-very little of which goes a great way in
-the wooing o’t.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before disclaiming all love for music,
-or suggesting the banjo or bagpipe as
-your favorite instrument, should she
-dote on the opera, sing divinely and be
-a piano-pounder of no mean ability in
-her own person.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before depreciating anything the
-dear creature does, or tries to do.
-Eagerly demand another song, even if
-the screech of her first has ruined your
-tympanum, call her verses divine, if
-they are no better than Tennyson’s
-latest senility, swear that her favorite
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">32</span>
-scent is yours, even if ’tis musk or garlic,
-and build, build as with a wand, the
-shining edifice of love!</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop right off at the idea that there may
-be anything hypocritical or insincere
-advised in the foregoing paragraph.
-If really in love, you will religiously
-believe everything you tell her, and more
-too.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, first, however, and study the character
-of your enchantress. All women
-are no more to be wooed alike than
-are all fish to be tempted with the same
-kind of bait.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before addressing a brainy, well-read
-penetrative divinity as you would a
-laughing elf, a careless, careless fay, a
-butterfly of mirth and joy. An Hypatia
-is not a Hebe, and reflect! Would
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">33</span>
-you tempt an eagle with a moth-light,
-or a striped-bass with an eel-bob?</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if she be intellectual, and study up
-to an equality with her tastes, should
-you be her inferior. Then scientific
-discussions, with poetry as a side-dish,
-may gradually lead up to the delicious
-desideratum of two hearts that beat as
-one.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, at the error of preferring
-her intellectual to her physical charms.
-She is a lovely liar if she pretends to a
-desire for such preference, and your sin
-will be unpardonable, should you take
-her at her word.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in any case, before praising another
-woman’s good-looks in the adored one’s
-presence. In fact, you can afford her
-no pleasanter flattery than by a systematic
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">34</span>
-depreciation of a prettier woman’s
-charms.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if she be a Hebe, we will say, and
-plunge recklessly amid her paucity of
-ideas. Flounder in folly, palpitate with
-persiflage, at her giggling beck; and
-here is ample opportunity for the silent
-eloquence of the nosegay, the oyster, or
-the iced refreshment, not less than for
-the princely prodigality of the opera,
-the midnight coupe and the church fair
-lottery.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of any display of fear in her
-presence, even if you are timorous to
-the core. Let her do the shrieking at
-the onset of a mouse, but stand you as
-the rugged rock, the beaten anvil, or
-the rooted oak! You might even trample
-out a croton-bug occasionally, with
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">35</span>
-a cold, feelingless laugh. Imperturbability
-in peril was never yet a masculine
-fault in gentle woman’s eyes.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before incurring the dislike of the
-fair one’s little brothers or sisters. The
-malapert maliciousness of <i>l’enfant terrible</i>
-may occasion mortifications without
-number.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before losing your temper with a
-rival in your charmer’s presence. If
-you must come to blows, let it be in a
-retired spot, but it were far better to
-sit him out, beat him on bouquets, gum
-drops and theatre-tickets, or otherwise
-defeat him in the rosy lists.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop at the one thousandth kiss, after
-receiving the coveted “Yes” from the
-adored one’s lips. Byron, it is true, in
-one of his callow effusions, counsels a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">36</span>
-million, but, as a conscientious Mentor,
-we prefer to draw the line somewhere
-even in such an emotional proceeding.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, discontinue the siege altogether, in
-case of a downright rejection, howsoever
-reluctant, howsoever tearful.
-Don’t put up with the sisterly substitute,
-either; but just float out grandly
-on the ebb-tide of broken hopes, until
-brighter eyes a welcome shine to solace
-and to cheer.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before imagining, if accepted, that
-your ordeal is now nearly at an end.
-Why, gentle sir, it hath just begun.
-You are now owned.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short at the idea that even your
-former devotion is still in order. If it
-was a bouquet or two per week before,
-it is now a cart-load per day; your male
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">37</span>
-familiars must sigh for you in vain&mdash;your
-off-nights are things of the past;
-you are on exhibition, not only to your
-<i>fianc&eacute;e’s</i> family, but to the world at
-large; you are an engaged man!</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of suicidal despair as a
-result of your first lovers’ quarrel. This
-is but the pepper-sauce of passion, the
-curry of courtship, the horse-radish of
-happiness, without which that crowning
-reflection, the kiss-gilt, teardrop-rainbowed
-making-up were banished forever
-from Love’s golden feast!</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in a general way, before making
-love for the fun of the thing. There is
-no meaner, more reptilian creature in
-society than the professional male
-flirt.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before yielding an iota to the allurements
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">38</span>
-of a notorious coquette. Heartlessness
-is her dower, emotional misery
-her delight, falseness her stock in trade,
-and the ashen Dead Sea fruit the only
-reward in her power, even if she love at
-last.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before permitting your admiration of
-an actress, or ballet dancer, to glide
-into a master passion. Disenchantment,
-if desired, is mostly within easy reach,
-and you can console yourself with the
-reflection that there is far more beauty
-off the stage than on it.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of making love at all, if you
-are not of an affectionate disposition;
-or, when too late&mdash;that is, when married,
-love will be likely to stop short of
-you.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">39</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i041.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Money_Matters">In Money Matters.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, first, and understand the value of
-money&mdash;the importance of never being
-without <i>some</i> money, even if a very
-little.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, next, and understand that money is
-nothing in itself alone, but valuable and
-powerful only in what it will purchase
-and <i>can</i> purchase. A pure love of it
-for itself, and not for what it represents,
-develops a loathsome disease&mdash;the disease
-of miserliness.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of envying the rich, even if
-penniless yourself. A philosophical
-reflection as to the causes of your bad
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">40</span>
-fortune, together with a resolve to mend
-it by a more enlightened course, is your
-only remedy.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, yet shorter of the vulgar,
-pigheaded notion that money, even by
-the ton-weight, can be everything without
-moral or intellectual backing. If
-this were so, wealth would be more
-glorious than wisdom, which happily, it
-is not.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before parting with money, even to
-an insignificant amount, without some
-sort of equivalent. This rule need not
-render you either parsimonious or
-uncharitable, since even alms-giving
-brings a return in the consciousness of
-having yielded to a kindly impulse.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating a hoarding spirit,
-and remember that, logically, as between
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">41</span>
-the miser and the spendthrift, the latter
-has the best of the bargain. For, while
-the spendthrift has the selfish satisfaction
-of squandering his fortune in his
-own person, the miser is the dupe of
-his own self-denial, for the benefit of
-others who come after him.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, before emulating the
-spendthrift any more than the miser.
-If there is never any love for the
-scheming parsimony of the one, neither
-is there ever any gratitude for the
-thoughtless largesse of the other.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and reflect well, before borrowing
-money under any circumstances. To
-an honest man, indebtedness is ever a
-double torture&mdash;self-torture in the
-haunting possibility of not being able
-to keep his word, and the torture of
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">42</span>
-imagining what, in that case, will be
-thought of him.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, dead, before borrowing money that
-you are not sure of being able to repay.
-As for the man who borrows without
-the <i>intention</i> to repay, he is even worse
-than a professional thief, and as fully
-deserving of social ostracism.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before becoming that unmitigated
-bore, a chronic borrower. He is at best
-a pitiful creature, shunned even when
-commiserated, and the strongest ties of
-friendship cannot long withstand the
-wrench of his proximity.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, even before lending money to a
-friend, and reflect that non-liquidation
-must cost you your money, and <i>may</i>
-cost you&mdash;your friend.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, if you mean to grant a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">43</span>
-request for a loan, and grant it freely.
-To produce it as if extracting a wisdom-tooth,
-or accompany it with a stereotyped
-moral lecture on the hardness of
-the times, etc., is much like placing his
-request on a level with mendicancy.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short&mdash;indeed, as abruptly as you
-please&mdash;of lending money to a known
-profligate or spendthrift. The proverbial
-blood from a turnip may be
-sooner expected than genuine thankfulness
-for an accommodation from such a
-source, and the probability is that he
-will secretly laugh at you for a fool.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, and reflect well before
-adopting a general and irrevocable rule
-of never lending money under any circumstances.
-Many eminent men, the
-reverse of hard-hearted, have conscientiously
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">44</span>
-adopted this rule, but whether
-it is the best, as the world goes, is a
-question.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before compromising with such a
-rule by offering as a gift that which is
-entreated as a loan. This is the course
-usually pursued by the eminent men
-alluded to above; but such a proffer is
-always humiliating, and often insulting.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before running in debt, even for
-groceries or beer, for that for which you
-can pay on the spot. It is a pernicious
-habit that must steadily engender looser
-and looser notions about money matters.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before adopting honesty as your
-standard merely on the immorally aphoristic
-grounds of its being the best
-policy. True integrity should stand on
-its merits, win or lose; whereas any
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">45</span>
-shrewd rascal would be honest on occasion,
-if satisfied that he would <i>make</i> by
-it.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and fortify your uprightness
-on the broad grounds, “that <i>honesty is
-not only the deepest policy, but the highest
-wisdom</i>; since however difficult it may
-be for integrity to get on, it is a thousand
-times more difficult for knavery to
-<i>get off</i>.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating an inordinate desire
-to get rich in haste. In ninety-nine
-cases out of a hundred it will develop
-into a species of frenzy that must over-reach
-and defeat its aims.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and understand that in speculation,
-the prizes of the few are only
-rendered possible by the ruin of the
-many.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">46</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before setting up financial comets&mdash;that
-is suddenly-rich men&mdash;as your exemplars.
-The exceptional boldness,
-or unscrupulousness which constituted
-their <i>open sesame</i> to dazzling fortune,
-may but fling wide, for the mediocre
-imitator, the doors of poverty or of the
-state prison.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop when you have achieved a comfortable
-competence, and devote yourself
-to the rational enjoyment thereof. To
-be stacking up dollars and securities to
-the last gasp is worse than making a
-hell on earth; since it is a perversity so
-obtuse as to imagine that as heaven
-which is in truth a hell.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and remember, that the accumulation
-of wealth, as a sole pursuit, is a
-diseased passion, just as much as is the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">47</span>
-craving for strong drink, or for the excitement
-of gambling.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, therefore, in the headlong race for
-money, and so intersperse that pursuit
-with knowledge and unselfish deeds,
-with moral and intellectual recreations,
-as shall render it the chief means, rather
-than the chief end, of a useful existence.</p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i049.jpg" alt="" />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">48</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i050.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Guarding_Against_Bad">In Guarding Against Bad
-Habits.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating an inordinate self-conceit,
-and remember that real worth is
-mostly modest, while those persons are
-the vainest who have the least to be
-vain of.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before contracting a habit of exaggeration.
-This is the stock-in-trade
-of the cheap penny-a-liner, while the
-strength of the true historian lies in
-conscientious statement.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of fancying that such exaggeration
-can impress others with your imaginative
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">49</span>
-powers. Were this true, the
-grimaces of a baboon might be ascribed
-to emotional fine frenzy.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before contracting the habit of lying,
-even in a harmless way. But this
-fault is as naturally the outgrowth of
-extravagance or looseness of statement,
-as is the noxious weed of the miscellaneous
-muck that stimulates it into
-useless being.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of listlessness in word, look
-and deed. A perfunctory person is
-never in demand, and Rip Van Winkle
-only indemnified society in sleeping out
-his twenty years.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and do nothing, rather than procrastinate
-indefinitely. Untrustworthiness
-is the final result of procrastination,
-and a reputation for that is tantamount
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">50</span>
-to elimination from the world’s
-employment.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop far short of any indulgence that can
-affect your general reputation. “The
-two most precious things this side the
-grave,” says <i>Lacon</i>, “are our reputation
-and our life; the most contemptible
-whisper may deprive us of the one, the
-weakest weapon of the other.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop the use of tobacco, if addicted to it,
-but especially in the form of chewing,
-the vileness of this practice is in no wise
-mitigated by its prevalence.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop smoking, also, at its first threatened
-inroad upon the general health. To
-persist in it thereafter is a confession of
-both moral and mental weakness.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the threshold of gambling of
-every description, and, if already in the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">51</span>
-toils, shut down on the practice with all
-the ponderosity at your command.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, moreover, and understand that
-gambling&mdash;the worship of chance&mdash;is
-death to the soul, to faith in human
-nature, to man’s nobler attributes. In
-this regard, it is more literally demoralizing
-than alcoholic drunkenness; and
-there is yet to be found the veteran
-professional gambler who is not a materialistic
-atheist.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, once more, and remember that every
-man who will play cards for money, will
-in time, cheat. He may set out honestly
-enough, but it is only a question of time
-before he will take an unfair advantage
-in <i>self-defense</i>. What, then, can be
-thought of a practice that almost necessitates
-dishonesty?
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">52</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop&mdash;hold! That “D&mdash;n!” upon thy
-lips! Would not “Confound it!” “The
-deuce take it!” or simply “Bless me!”
-emphasize resentment or annoyance
-equally well? Or, still better, is there
-any need for emphasis at all?</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, above all, before falling into the
-profane habit, upon no provocation. A
-passionless, half-conscious interlarding
-of speech with oaths and epithets is as
-idiotic as it is disgusting.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of becoming anecdotal
-to excess. Second only to the confirmed
-scandal-bearer is the friend whose
-encounter one must dodge for fear of
-being made the repository of some long-winded
-anecdote, or pointless pun.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of narrating indecent stories.
-Unfortunately, nearly all stories of much
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">53</span>
-point that are interchanged among men
-are of this description; <i>ergo</i>, eschew the
-retailing of them, on your own part,
-altogether.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before becoming the slave of any depraved
-appetite. To take the appetite
-for strong drink as an illustration, it
-is a terrible enchantress&mdash;siren, bacchante,
-or task-mistress, at will. One
-can seldom coquette with but he marries
-her at last; when, like the Lamia of
-the legend, she turns to a serpent in the
-embrace, and her dalliance is despair
-and death.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before contracting a habit of belittling
-or sneering at what you do not
-understand. This is but the pasteboard
-buckler with which the fool would shield
-his self-love.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">54</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before habitually ascribing mean or
-sordid motives to others upon mere
-conjecture.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of any habit that can fruitlessly
-waste one’s time or substance, since the
-one is more than money, because, once
-dissipated, it can never be replaced, and
-the other is the very means of life.</p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i056.jpg" alt="" />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">55</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i057.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Judging_Others">In Judging Others.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before gauging a person’s capacity
-solely by his physiognomy. Lafayette’s
-forehead suggested idiocy, Keats, the
-poet, had the jaws of a prize-fighter,
-and warriors of the Salvation Army
-have been mistaken (before opening
-their mouths) for men of intelligence.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, before judging people altogether
-on antithetic grounds. To
-invariably accept a monkey-jawed, rat-eyed,
-ear-shadowed countenance as a
-criterion for mental profundity, for
-instance, or crime-sodden, sin-exhaling
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">56</span>
-bulldog traits as suggestive of ethical
-culture or religious zeal, is hardly to be
-recommended.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before judging others, especially
-men, wholly by their dress and manners.
-A millionaire may be “shabby-genteel”
-and retiring to excess, whereas professional
-scoundrels are often notorious
-for a fashionable exterior and distinction
-of bearing “as to the manner
-born.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the verge of taking dress and
-ornament as a sure indication of a
-woman’s character or station. You
-might regret mistaking a quietly-attired
-unadorned heiress for a shirt-maker in
-distress; or a fourth-class pawnbroker’s
-wife, beringed and bediamonded from
-bang to belt, for a sorceress of fashion.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">57</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before judging people disparagingly
-by their eccentricities. A poet, for
-instance, may indulge in long hair, without
-necessarily being an <i>&aelig;sthete</i> or a
-cowboy; the habit of talking to one’s-self
-is no proof of a guilty conscience;
-and absent-mindedness in many forms
-has accompanied the possession of
-exceptional capacity.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, before accepting such
-betrayals as positive indications of
-either genius, talent or brains. To do
-this would be to libel the ordinarily
-well-behaved people who have some
-respect for the amenities of existence.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, for instance, ere ascribing pure
-benevolence to the absent-mindedness
-that mistakes your silk umbrella for a
-mislaid gingham one, shaky in the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">58</span>
-ribs, feruled with long service, and filtery
-at the seams.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop and draw a line likewise, at the abstraction
-that finds its hand in your
-pocket, or creeps in at your bedroom
-window, or is blandly oblivious as to
-whether it owes you money, or <i>vice
-versa</i>.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and turn the question over in your
-mind: True enough, there is a chance
-of such eccentricities being the concomitants
-of a certain sort of talent, but is
-it exactly the sort that ought to be
-encouraged?</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if naturally dishonest or vicious
-yourself, and inquire if you can fairly
-judge others according to your own corrupt
-standard. This may prevent your
-giving yourself away, besides leavening
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">59</span>
-your collective baseness with a grain
-or two of charity.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, if honest and well-meaning&mdash;and,
-indeed, it is mainly for such that
-this symposium of golden precepts is
-prepared&mdash;and remember, as a stimulant
-to careful discrimination in these
-things, that your own superficialities
-may be constantly and cruelly misjudged.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that you have no
-superficialities, or but few, to be judged
-by. The visibility of existence is
-largely made up of them; it is, perhaps
-even well that the heart is not often
-worn upon the sleeve; and equally well
-that our externals are but deceptive indices
-of the springs of action, the blots
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">60</span>
-and foibles they disguise, else were the
-wisest of us each other’s sport.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before taking mildness and retirement
-of manner for a want of resolution
-or courage. True greatness in anything
-is seldom self-celebrating, and it is as
-true as proverbial that “still waters
-run deep.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, on the other hand, before setting
-down a strutting self-importance as invariably
-betokening a wind-bag or a
-nincompoop. Modesty is, unfortunately,
-not always the hand-maid of merit.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before mistaking ostentation for
-generosity, or calm acceptance for ingratitude.
-“As the mean have a calculating
-avarice that sometimes inclines
-them to give, so the magnanimous have
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">61</span>
-a condescending generosity that sometimes
-inclines them to receive.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before despising in another the demonstrativeness
-that you would despise
-in yourself. The babble of the brook
-is as natural as the stillness of the pool
-and temperamental differences are always
-to be considered.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before regarding extreme particularity
-in dress as an invariable evidence of
-intellectual insignificance. It often is
-so, but nine-tenths of the shabbily-attired
-men of brains would dress better
-if they could afford to.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop on the dizzy verge of mistaking an
-excessive and painstaking courtesy for
-a genuine and heartfelt interest. It
-should rather put you on your guard.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of the old-time cynicism of regarding
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">62</span>
-every man as a rascal until he
-shall have afforded proofs to the contrary.
-Such a wholesale distrust of human
-nature is creditable to neither the
-head nor the heart.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before sweepingly condemning a discreditable
-action the temptations to
-which are outside your own experience.
-Even to “put yourself in his place” is
-not always available for the formation
-of intelligent criticism in such cases.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before lightly assigning reasons for
-another’s domestic troubles. The closet-skeleton
-is a strictly local spectre that
-is not the less terrible by reason of the
-narrowness of its haunting powers.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of disparaging the charity that
-methodizes and calculates its smallest
-alms. There is an enlightened self-interest
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">63</span>
-that relieves more real distress
-than all the off-handed gratuities that
-are bestowed.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before impugning self-seeking motives
-to a good deed that redounds to
-the doer’s advantage. Even if partly
-premeditated to this end, the result, if
-humanitarian in its general influence, is
-not the less useful and noble.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before judging a man solely by his
-errors or misfortunes. The former may
-have been circumstantially unavoidable,
-as the latter may have been undeserved.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before adopting the stereotyped,
-canting “I-might-have-told-you-so” criticism
-in the case of a friend who has
-fallen. The helping hand is then in
-order, if ever at all; and he is doubtless
-aware of the cause of his disgrace,
-without your telling him.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">64</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i066.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Recreation">In Recreation.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before making a regular business of
-any form of diversion, which then ceases
-to be either recreative or relaxing, and
-but adds to the tissue-waste that should
-be restored.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, next, and consider that recreation,
-in its literal and best sense, is something
-more than relaxation. More than
-to merely loosen, slacken and remit, to
-recreate is to revive, reanimate, recuperate
-and build up afresh.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, therefore, before playing billiards or
-pool every night for five or six hours
-at a stretch, under the mistaken notion
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">65</span>
-that you are combining recreation with
-amusement.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, rather, and consider if the nervous
-tension produced by an unremitting
-desire to win, and thus saddle your adversary
-with the cost of the game, may
-not be greater than the wear and tear
-of the routine business from which you
-are seeking relief.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of the error that billiards in
-public is a wholly innocent diversion,
-when candid reflection must convince
-you to the contrary. The associations
-are mostly the reverse of refined, the
-gambling principle is necessarily involved,
-and say what you will, non-success
-is ever attended by a sense of exasperation.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop wondering why you don’t feel freshened
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">66</span>
-up for business after a ten hours’
-siege of whisky-poker, uninterrupted
-cigars, and consequent loss of sleep.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before fancying chess-playing as any
-sort of relaxation whatever from mental
-exertion. The game, being a constant
-mental exercise, in itself should form a
-diversion from physical, rather than
-from intellectual, over-work.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of daily conviviality after business
-hours. The idea that regular rum
-or beer-guzzling, even with the merriest
-of companions, can be sooner or latter
-anything but injurious is either hypocritical
-or ridiculous.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, likewise, short of spreeing as a relief
-from business cares. Indeed, as between
-the hebdomadal hurrah and the
-diurnal hoist, the distinction is so
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">67</span>
-thoroughly relative to the confessedly
-evil effects in both cases as not to be
-worthy of consideration.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before seeking recreation in low resorts.
-Give them all a wide berth&mdash;concert-saloons,
-dives, dens, hells,
-houses of ill-repute, bucket-shops, slums,
-cribs, joints&mdash;all! and remember that
-what is essentially debasing can never
-reanimate exhaustion or repair fatigue.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before patronizing a low performance
-of any description. Dog-fights,
-rat-baitings, cocking-mains, <i>et al.</i>, are
-happily surreptitious now, but there are
-equally immoral exhibitions still in
-vogue to tempt the thoughtless and
-unwary.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before seeking recreation in sensuous
-performances or spectacles. True,
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">68</span>
-the ballet is often fascinating, but&mdash;Well,
-let the line be drawn sharply just
-after the ballet, at all events.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before attempting either skating,
-bicycling, or horse-back exercise in public,
-as a gentle and graceful relaxation,
-when wholly inexperienced, if you would
-both corruscate and career.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before making a specialty of any
-kind of recreation that is beyond your
-means. Otherwise, you may not infrequently
-exclaim, with <i>Hamlet</i>, “For
-O, for O, the hobby-horse is forgot!”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop at the yawning abyss of resorting to
-opium, or any similar drug, as a relief
-from care. As the alcoholic habit has
-been likened to an enchantress, a circean
-witch, so the opium habit is a
-dream-woman, the sorceress of a phantom
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">69</span>
-realm, elysian at first, but changing
-at last into a horror-haunted sphere that
-appals the spirit while it tortures and
-consumes the frame.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before applying yourself to excessive
-gymnastics as a relaxation, if a horse-car
-conductor or a letter-carrier. Variety
-is the spice of life.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if engaged in wholly intellectual
-pursuits, before reading dry and statistical
-books, such as Patent Reports, as
-a pleasing and hilarious change.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before joining a club with whose
-objects you are unfamiliar. To find
-yourself unawares, for instance, in the
-bosom of a hoodlum coterie when in
-search of Christian refinement, or unexpectedly
-affiliated with a Bible society
-when thirsting for roaring and convivial
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">70</span>
-companionship, would be alike uncongenial.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before seeking recreation in travel,
-if without money. True, commercial
-drummers and tramps have attained
-some success in this field, but neither
-the talents of the one class nor the
-methods of the other are to be cordially
-recommended.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before indulging in the rougher
-athletic sports for which you are physically
-unqualified. Study your capacities
-well&mdash;take in the entire athletic range,
-from jackstraws to Indian clubs, from
-the bean-bag to foot-ball&mdash;and discriminate
-for all you are worth.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before instituting any home-amusement
-that shall bind you to the house
-of evenings forever thereafter. You
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">71</span>
-might really want to go out and “see a
-man,” but the excuse would avail you
-little with the charming home-game
-awaiting your patronage.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before frequenting any lounging
-place, be it beer-saloon or cigar-shop, so
-much as to become a figure-head of the
-premises. Not to loaf at all is an excellent
-general rule.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before attempting recreation “on the
-road” in an ultra-economical way. A
-livery-stable plug, hobbling ambitiously
-before a battered sleigh or antediluvian
-buggy, in the midst of swell turn-outs
-and speeding teams, would doubtless
-cause something of a sensation, but
-would it be of the most enviable kind?</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of seeking mental repose by
-attending “excursions” in which bibulous
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">72</span>
-feats and glee-club improvisations
-bid fair to make up the chief fund of
-amusement.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of practical jokes as a relief
-for the work-oppressed brain. As between
-jok<i>er</i> and jok<i>ee</i>, the entertainment
-is mostly altogether with the
-former, and one-sided or top-heavy
-diversions are both selfish and untimely.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and be sure that you have a work-oppressed
-brain, before rushing wildly
-into any recreation whatever. The
-former is often imaginary, or a hypocritical
-excuse for demanding a pastime,
-which is then, as a consequence, apt to
-prove much harder work than play.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">73</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i075.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_The_Domestic_Relations">In The Domestic Relations.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of thinking that marriage and
-settlement in life can acquit you of the
-tenderness and reverence due your parents,
-even if they are well-to-do. It is
-a moral obligation which, contracted at
-your birth, should cease not even with
-their death, but live on and on, an
-evergreen of the memory, an amaranth
-of the heart.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before reserving for the bosom of
-your own family the fits of ill-temper
-that you would be ashamed of if public.
-This is putting your own household
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">74</span>
-on a level with a private bear-garden,
-whose limited spectators cannot be
-over-grateful for the privilege accorded.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that your wife
-is anything less than an equal partner
-in the hymeneal firm. Even if she came
-to you penniless, the idea that she is
-thenceforth indebted to you for home,
-position or freedom from care, is a
-barbarism fortunately obsolete in this
-country.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, likewise, short of the imported
-notion, also obsolete, that she <i>belongs</i> to
-you other than by the free heart-gift
-that inspired her marriage vows, or that
-she is in any sense your property. The
-cherishing of such a sentiment is degrading
-alike to husband and wife.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before denying to your wife the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">75</span>
-right to have little secrets of her own,
-if you claim the same privilege for yourself.
-A loving and trusted wife will
-have no important secrets apart from
-her husband.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of altogether distrusting her in
-money matters. Even if she have but
-little common sense in such things, her
-wifehood is a responsibility for which
-you are responsible, and which cannot
-be wholly nullified without humiliating
-her.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of denying her the possession
-of some pocket-money of her own, if
-but very little. “During my married
-life,” said a prominent lecturer on
-woman’s rights, “I never had a cent of
-pocket-money that I was not forced to
-<i>steal</i> from my husband.” And this
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">76</span>
-statement will evoke more reflection
-than censure in the thoughtful mind.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before grumblingly supplying the
-household demands. This practice of
-growling over a domestic expenditure,
-which is but a tithe of what your next
-“good time with the boys” will cost
-you, is more prevalent than sensible.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before placing any one over your
-wife’s head in her own house. Be it
-mother-in-law, sister-in-law, or any one
-else, the course is alike risky and unwise.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating a dislike or niggardliness
-for your wife’s passion for
-dress, if it is accompanied by a refined
-taste and an earnest desire to be within
-what you can afford. Fine feathers
-may not always make fine birds, but a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">77</span>
-naturally attractive woman is undeniably
-more lovable and attractive when
-tastefully attired than otherwise.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop long before relinquishing, after marriage,
-the delicate little attentions and
-sacrifices that were so acceptable during
-your courtship. A lover-husband will
-make a sweetheart-wife, and for such
-the honey-moon need have no wane.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, however, dead short of uxoriousness
-to a degree that shall excite a smile or
-comment. The former is apt to be
-exasperating, and the latter of a nature
-the reverse of soothing to your <i>amour
-propre</i>.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before developing a womanish desire
-to interfere with domestic arrangements
-outside of your province. In other
-words, never be what your wife might
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">78</span>
-call a “cock-biddy,” and your cook “an
-intermiddling mon.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before developing a fault-finding
-disposition with the cooking or other
-accommodations, or first be sure that
-you are not more responsible for the
-faults than your wife.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of concealing the fact from your
-wife, if she is falling unconsciously into
-slovenly and unkempt personal habits
-when only in your presence. Let her
-but comprehend that this is a wifely
-neglect that has driven many a husband
-into neater but unscrupulous feminine
-society, and speedy amendment must
-follow.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before holding your wife accountable
-for every little smile or frankness
-accorded to her antenuptial admirers.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">79</span>
-’Tis the watched fire that languishes;
-and, should she meditate treason, she
-would not hint it by so much as a rush-light.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before letting her know it, if you
-find out that your marriage has been
-a mistake. Doubtless this will make
-itself felt, despite your utmost precautions,
-and her sufferings in making the
-sad discovery will then challenge your
-compunction, your pity and your redoubled
-devotion, if you are a true
-man.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before laughing at piety in your wife,
-even if an infidel yourself. “Wise men
-like to have pious wives,” says Emerson,
-“and it is well for all concerned
-that it should be so.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before betraying your weaknesses to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">80</span>
-your children. Even a hypocritical assumption
-of a morality that you do not
-always practice is preferable to self-exposure
-in this regard.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before correcting them in the presence
-of outsiders. The self-respect of
-a little child, once wounded to the
-quick, is long in healing; and some
-consideration is due, moreover, to the
-outsiders.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before punishing a child when influenced
-by anger. The punishment
-then ceases to be corrective, and is only
-resentful; whereas the helplessness of
-the child should of itself evoke but
-magnanimity.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, when thus impelled by anger, and
-reflect if you would as readily seek to
-gratify it, were no such disparity existent&mdash;that
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">81</span>
-is, where the child as big and
-powerful as yourself.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before threatening a chastisement
-that you don’t intend to inflict. Or, if
-you must persist in this course, don’t
-ascribe the continued disobedience,
-which is its inevitable outgrowth, to
-anything but your own weakness.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of deception or untruth in your
-dealings with your children, if you
-would impress them with the opposite
-sentiments.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in this regard, and reflect that, if the
-childish mind is wax to early impressions,
-it is of a kind that hardens with
-the imprint, and that from the hardening
-process spring the imitation and
-the <i>emulation</i>, which must gradually
-corrupt or ennoble, as the case may be.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">82</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before assuming a bullying tone or
-attitude toward your family or your domestics.
-Vaporings of this description
-are always in wretched taste, and a
-home-circle that must needs be terrorized
-is little to be envied.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before living beyond, or even quite
-up to your means, and be not ambitious
-to make an outside show at the expense
-of internal comfort.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of lessening the significance of
-old-time festivities, such as Thanksgiving
-Day, Christmas, New Year’s and
-birth-day observances, simply because
-you have yourself outgrown their zest.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before repressing any innocent propensity
-to <i>gush</i> on the part of your wife
-or children. It is a chill home-fountain
-that will not occasionally overflow.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">83</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, if possible, before ever disturbing
-your family peace with even so much as
-an unkind or hasty word. The pretty
-lines,</p>
-
-<div class="poetry"><div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i0">“We have greeting words for the stranger,<br /></span>
-<span class="i2">And smiles for the sometime guest,<br /></span>
-<span class="i0">But oft for Our Own the bitter tone.<br /></span>
-<span class="i2">Though we love Our Own the best,”<br /></span>
-</div></div></div>
-
-<p class="i4">should never be pertinent in a wise
-man’s household.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before assuming an oracular or infallible
-attitude&mdash;in other words, setting
-yourself up as a small god&mdash;before
-your own family. Ten to one, it is an
-assumption that you cannot maintain
-with any degree of consistency, and one
-which may entail a humiliating back-down
-when least expected.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">84</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i086.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Business_Life">In Business Life.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of attempting a business enterprise
-wholly beyond your mental and
-financial equipment. To attempt the
-<i>r&ocirc;le</i> of a railroad magnate, for instance,
-when you have the soul of a licensed
-fish-vender, or the manipulation of a
-government loan with hardly enough
-capital for a fruit-stand, would be more
-ambitious than wise.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before adopting rigorous and unbending
-methods that, under a change
-of fortune, can be quoted against you
-to your disadvantage. Thus, to never
-lend money, on principle, when prosperous,
-but be perfectly willing to borrow
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">85</span>
-it when broke, might subject you to unpleasant
-comment.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before assuming a domineering,
-Jovian tone toward those with less
-money than you, even if you have a corner
-on the market. Men are often like
-rats in this, that they fight when they
-are cornered.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop when already so deep into a hopeless
-speculation that you can’t beg or
-borrow another cent, when certain ruin
-stares you in the face, and even your
-pawn-tickets are at a discount. Forlorn
-hopes are only practicable in serial
-stories and war.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, even at the height of prosperity,
-and make sure of the future by settling
-upon your family a competence that
-shall thenceforth forever be secured to
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">86</span>
-them, come what may. This prudent
-course, feasible and honorable during
-prosperity, would be just the reverse if
-deferred until after business disaster
-may have come.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of imagining that there is
-any more <i>luck</i> in a legitimate business
-than in games of chance&mdash;in other
-words, that there is any at all. Or, if
-there is any, it consists of superior
-energy, foresight, shrewdness and application,
-wherein, of course, the stronger
-wins while the weaker goes to the
-wall.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and reflect well, before venturing
-outside of a legitimate, fairly-paying
-business upon the sea of speculation,
-which is in reality but gambling under
-another name.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">87</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before cultivating a reputation for
-either over-credulity or relentless hard
-bargaining in business life. The one
-will be abused, while the other will
-foster enmities through the abuse it
-practices.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of uncompromising martinetism
-toward your employees. Our
-clerks, for instance, can no longer be
-treated as apprentices; many of them
-are rich men in embryo; and with
-what satisfaction and gratitude do
-powerful millionaires often recall slight
-kindnesses and encouragements received
-from their employers when they
-were nothing but obscure clerks or
-office-boys!</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before choosing business quarters of
-a magnitude and pretension wholly out
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">88</span>
-of keeping with your trade and custom.
-There is a laughable case in point, in
-the upper part of New York, where a
-diminutive, tumble-down junk-shop displays
-a flaring sign with the preposterous
-legend: “Great American Mammoth
-Junk Emporium.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before advertising your commodities
-for something better than they really
-are. This is to cheat yourself in the
-long run, for the average of public
-buyers rarely allow themselves to be
-deliberately swindled twice by the same
-liar.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that the hackneyed
-phrase, “Business is business,”
-can ever excuse a downright dishonest
-transaction in the opinion of <i>all</i> your
-business acquaintances.
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">89</span></p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, therefore, before setting the majority
-of them down as secretly unprincipled,
-and vaunting their uprightness
-as a mask. Money-loving as they are,
-the majority of those whose good
-opinion is worth having are personally
-honest at the core.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of being dazzled by mere business
-success, irrespective of questionable
-or dangerous methods by which it may
-have been achieved. Unless the means
-shall have justified the result, there can
-be no praiseworthy success.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that spasmodic
-cleverness can ever take the place of
-solid method, organized effort and settled
-application in any respectable
-calling.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and go easy before provoking a
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">90</span>
-powerful business hostility, if possible,
-but never to the sacrifice of a true principle;
-and, war being fully declared (<i>i.e.</i>,
-competition, ruthless and uncompromising),
-let it be to the knife, to the
-bitter end, till the last pecuniary sinew
-snaps!</p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i092.jpg" alt="" />
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">91</span></p>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/i093.jpg" alt="" />
-</p>
-
-<h2 id="In_Thought_Word_and">In Thought, Word and
-Deed.</h2>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before even thinking unworthily.
-Not to entertain in the mind what you
-would blush to speak or put in writing
-is an excellent general rule of
-ethics.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before nourishing a pride of nationality.
-This is even more unreasonable
-than the pride of ancestry, for the greatness
-of the latter may be in some degree
-inherited, while for the mere accident
-of birth-<i>place</i> a man is as irresponsible
-as he is unentitled to plume himself
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">92</span>
-upon historical greatness in the abstract.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, also, before cherishing even a pride
-of race. This is wholly distinct from
-the virtue of Patriotism, in its best
-sense; is opposed to the enlightened
-spirit of the age; and is one of the narrowest
-of prejudices.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of despising public spirit in
-others, or eliminating it from your own
-calculations. The most insignificant
-pot-house politician is of more worldly
-use than the most gifted misanthrope.
-No amount of selfish seclusion or isolation
-can absolve one from his duty of
-fellowship.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before making butts of others,
-especially by reason of personal peculiarities
-for which they are in no wise
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">93</span>
-responsible. The old aphorism about
-stone-throwing in relation to glass domiciles
-is always in order; and even a
-natural-born fool is more to be pitied
-than ridiculed.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop putting in words that which you
-would not do, or putting in writing that
-which you would not sign.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, and remember that an ill-considered
-angry word may, on the breath of hearsay,
-become a winged seed, from which
-shall spring a poisonous upas growth,
-whose deadly influence could not have
-been dreamed of at its inception.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop before falling into apathy, before becoming
-a do-nothing, through discouragements.
-“A great mind,” says <i>Lacon</i>,
-“may change its objects, but it cannot
-relinquish them; it must have something
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">94</span>
-to pursue. Variety is its relaxation,
-and amusement its repose.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of being painstaking to excess
-in what you would pass off as improvised.
-Over-elaboration in this regard
-may be likened to the dishabille in
-which a coquette would wish you to
-think you have surprised her, after
-spending hours at her toilet.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop short of supposing that rascality can
-be as uniformly logical as honesty.
-Villains are usually the worst casuists,
-and rush into <i>greater</i> crimes to avoid
-<i>less</i>.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in combating the World, and reflect
-that by resisting its temptations you
-master the secret of ultimately possessing
-its noblest prizes, the respect of
-your fellows, and the proudest self-respect
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">95</span>
-in having successfully withstood
-not in order to achieve, but from a
-sense of moral duty.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in resisting the allurements of the
-Flesh, and consider that by subjecting
-them to the yoke of reason, your capacity
-for rational fleshly enjoyment is
-both intensified and prolonged.</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, in fighting the Devil (<i>i.e.</i>, moral
-perverseness,) and remember that your
-victory will be evidence of moral balance
-on your own part, rather than of
-faint-heartedness on His Inky Majesty’s.
-And you may likewise recall with complacency
-Emerson’s indictment, where
-he says, “It stands to reason that the
-Devil is an ass.”</p>
-
-<p class="hang">Stop, after having fairly floored the Machiavellian
-triumvirate, the World, the
-<span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">96</span>
-Flesh and the Devil, and candidly confess
-that you might have fared worse
-but for the precepts and injunctions
-laid down in this little book.</p>
-
-<h3>THE END.</h3>
-<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">97</span></p>
-
-<div class="ph1">
-<span class="x-large">A GREAT HIT.</span><br />
-
-<span class="smcap">A Naughty Girl’s Diary</span><br />
-
-<span class="medium">&mdash;BY&mdash;</span><br />
-
-<span class="large">AUTHOR OF</span><br />
-
-<span class="large">“A Bad Boy’s Diary.”</span><br />
-
-<span class="large"><i>FULL OF FUN.</i></span><br />
-
-<span class="large gesperrt">Price 50 cents.</span><br />
-</div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Stop!, by Nathan Dean Urner
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