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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Answering the Phone, by Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
+other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
+whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
+the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
+www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
+to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
+
+Title: Answering the Phone
+       A Farce
+
+Author: Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
+Release Date: October 28, 2016 [EBook #53388]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANSWERING THE PHONE ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Emmy, MFR and the Online Distributed
+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
+produced from images generously made available by The
+Internet Archive)
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Transcriber's Note: Bold text is surrounded by =equal signs= and italic
+text is surrounded by _underscores_.]
+
+
+Answering the Phone
+
+
+
+
+
+    New York    TULLAR-MEREDITH CO.    Chicago
+
+
+THE LATEST ENTERTAINMENTS—JUST PUBLISHED
+
+
+
+=KRIS KRINGLE’S MINSTRELS.=
+
+By Effie Louise Koogle. The “totally different” Christmas
+entertainment. Add to the attractiveness of the minstrel show idea the
+distinction of having “His Royal Nibs” as Interlocutor, with equally
+unique personalities as End Men, endow them with a program flashing
+with fun, brilliant with beauty, enlivening with song and teeming with
+specialties, and you have a scream of delight from start to finish. The
+most novel novelty of the age. 25 cents.
+
+
+=THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE.=
+
+By Edith Palmer Painton. A class play in four acts and an epilog. 6
+males, 6 females. We have prevailed upon the author to allow us to
+publish this remarkably successful commencement play, which has been
+leased in manuscript for several years, and which always scores a
+brilliant success. It is the highest type commencement play. Acting
+rights free to purchaser of 12 copies. 35 cents.
+
+
+=VERA’S VACATION.=
+
+By Louise Rand Bascom. 4 males, 5 females. This accomplished author
+has done nothing better than this absorbing story of a summer vacation
+and the marvelous transformation of a grouchy father into a genial
+friend. The summer boarders are every one eccentric characters and
+the opportunities are immense. Clean, wholesome, elegant. Strongly
+recommended. 25c.
+
+
+=THE CHARITY PUPIL.=
+
+By Misses Rice and Clark. 14 females. A boarding school episode lively
+with vivacious pranks and interesting situations. The plot is strong,
+and culminates in a happy surprise. Stunts and specialties introduced.
+A splendid class play. 25 cents.
+
+
+=PETITE PLAYS.=
+
+A capital collection of the spiciest comic dialogs, comedies and
+farces by the best known writers in America. These plays are short,
+strong, pithy and witty, easy to give, and require only from two to six
+characters. Just right for schools. 30 cents.
+
+
+=HUMOR UP-TO-DATE.=
+
+The cleverest humor of modern times. Monologs, readings and
+recitations, portraying the funny side of present-day notions and
+doings. Fresh, crisp, snappy. For all ages. 25 cents.
+
+
+The Famous Five-Cent Funny Farces.
+
+  =AUNT JERUSHA AND UNCLE JOSH.= By Effie Louise Koogle.
+    1 male, 2 females. These eccentric folk visit the
+    school, producing no end of fun. 5 cents.
+
+  =AUNT LUCINDY STAYS.= By Willis N. Bugbee. 2 males, 2
+    females. Two darky characters make lots of fun. Clever
+    and clean. 5 cents.
+
+  =“BEAT IT!”= By Willis N. Bugbee. 3 males, 1 female. A
+    scolding wife makes trouble for everybody, the parson
+    included. Oceans of fun. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE BUGTOWN BAND.= By Archibald Humboldt. 4 males, 1
+    female. More fun than you can imagine, and a little
+    music which anybody can make. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE BUZZVILLE NEWS.= By Effie Louise Koogle. 2 males,
+    1 female. A breezy conversation between the manager and
+    new editor. A sure hit. 5 cents.
+
+  =BETTY AND BETSY.= By Willis N. Bugbee. 2 males, 2
+    females. Betsy was advertised for sale, but he wanted
+    Betty. Bright and pretty. 5 cents.
+
+  =DOT ENTERTAINS.= By Elizabeth F. Guptill. 1 male, 1
+    female. Dot entertains her big sister’s beau, and the
+    things she tells him are a plenty. A big success. 5
+    cents.
+
+  =THE GOOSE FEATHER BED.= By Willis N. Bugbee. 4 males,
+    1 female. A dandy little play for Irish and eccentric
+    characters. Easy and amusing. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE LUNATIC OR THE PROFESSOR.= By Louise Rand Bascom.
+    2 males, 2 females. The lunatic is mistaken for the
+    brain specialist, which is hard on the lunatic. Great.
+    5c.
+
+  =LOOK OUT FOR HEZIKIAH.= By Louise Rand Bascom. 3
+    males, 1 female. Hayseed parents visit college dean.
+    Splendid opportunity for clever acting. Bright and
+    amusing. 5c.
+
+  =LAUGHTER AND SONG.= By Archibald Humboldt. 3 males, 4
+    females. Comic dialog interspersed with jolly songs,
+    making a continuous funny story. 5 cents.
+
+  =MORE TIME OUT.= By Carolyn F. Rice. 7 females. An
+    amusing comedy dealing with the servant problem.
+    The characters are strongly contrasted. Easy, but
+    effective. 5 cents.
+
+  =OH, YOU TEACHER!= By C. A. Donaldson. 8 males, 4
+    females. A splendid comedy of school life, showing the
+    amateur teacher’s trials. Funny and well suited for
+    schools. 5c.
+
+  =ONE ON THE AGENT.= By Louise Rand Bascom. 1 male, 1
+    female. A clever skit, bright with telling repartee.
+    Recommended for all occasions. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE “PHYSICAL TORTURE” CLUB.= By Willis N. Bugbee. 2
+    m., 2 f. Physical culture exercises for which Ma is too
+    stout and Pa is too rheumatic. Killingly funny. 5 cents.
+
+  =RASTUS BLINK’S MINSTRELS.= By Effie Louise Koogle. For
+    any number. His “Kinky Koons” are killing. The jolliest
+    minstrel show ever. A deluge of drollery. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE SQUASHVILLE FIRE BRIGADE.= By Willis N. Bugbee.
+    3 males, 2 females, and other firemen, if desired. A
+    brisk and snappy little dialog. Easy and clever. 5
+    cents.
+
+  =“SCAT!”= By Louise Rand Bascom. 1 male, 1 female.
+    Cunning attempt of an old maid to prove her youth. Very
+    laughable. 5 cents.
+
+  =SEEING THE ANIMALS.= By Clara J. Denton. 1 male, 2
+    females. A swell hotel clerk, a suffragette, and a
+    spoiled child make a lively time. A hit. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE STUPID WITNESS.= 3 males. The lawyer and witness
+    lock horns and have an awful time, but it’s fun for the
+    audience. Swift and keen. 5 cents.
+
+  =THE TRAIN LEAVES IN TEN MINUTES.= By Louise Rand
+    Bascom. 1 male, 2 females. Will they catch the train?
+    The awful suspense is punctured by fun and wit. 5 cents.
+
+  =WANTED: A LICENSE TO WED.= By Elizabeth F. Guptill. 2
+    males, 1 female. Humorous situation resulting from a
+    misunderstanding. Irish dialect. 5 cents.
+
+  =No entertainments sent on approval or exchanged.=
+
+
+
+
+Answering the Phone
+
+    A Farce
+
+
+
+    By
+
+    ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL
+
+
+
+    _Price 10 Cents_
+
+
+
+    _All Rights Reserved, Amateur Performance Permitted_
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    _Tullar-Meredith Co._
+
+    265 West 36th Street, New York 14 W. Washington Street, Chicago
+
+    _Copyright 1914 by Tullar-Meredith Co
+    International Copyright Secured_
+
+
+
+
+Answering the Phone
+
+
+Characters
+
+Mrs. Courtney; Miss Eleanora Courtney, her daughter; Nora Flanagan, the
+new hired girl.
+
+
+
+
+SCENE I.
+
+The living room of the Courtney home. Mrs. Courtney dressed ready
+for the street. She gives finishing touches to her toilet before the
+mirror, then steps to side door.
+
+
+_Mrs. C._ If any one calls while I am gone, Nora, say I am out. Make
+hot biscuits for tea, and open a jar of strawberries. Be sure to answer
+the phone. The last girl I had didn’t know what a telephone was, and
+ignored it all the afternoon. It made me a lot of trouble, and I had to
+let her go. I will leave the door open so you can hear it.
+
+_Nora._ (Without.) I’ll answer it, mem, to be sure.
+
+_Mrs. C._ Very well. I’ll be back before tea time, but don’t tell any
+caller so. Just say I’m out. If they ask when I’ll return, you don’t
+know.
+
+_Nora._ Faith an’ I do, thin—befoor tay time.
+
+_Mrs. C._ I mean you must tell them you don’t know. Remember, now, and
+be sure to answer the phone.
+
+(Exit Mrs. C. by other side door. In a minute, Nora appears from
+kitchen, looks toward that door.)
+
+_Nora._ Sure an’ she didn’t lave the outside dure opin, so it must be
+this dure she was afther manin’. So the last gurl didn’t know what
+a tillyphone was, didn’t she? Will, sorra a bit more do I, but I’ll
+answer it if it shpakes to me, civil-like. It must be in this room, for
+this was the dure she lift open. Now is it a Polly Parrot, or what is
+it? Begorry, its Nora Flanagan that don’t know at all, at all. Come,
+Tilly, Tilly, Tilly! Come show yuresilf, and lit me hear the voice av
+yez. Where in the wurruld doos yez kape yersilf? Come Phony, Phony,
+Phony! Come, that’s a good baste! (She has been looking everywhere.
+She now seats herself.) Stay where yez are, thin, bad ’cess to yez!
+I naden’t answer yez if yez don’t shpake, that’s sure! (Phone rings;
+Nora jumps, with a little scream.) Sure an’ I niver heard the durebell
+sound as near as that! (Exit.) (Comes back muttering.) Bad ’cess to
+thim byes! A rapping and a ringing and thin whin yez go to the dure,
+no wan bees there, at all, at all! (Phone rings again. Nora runs out,
+but comes back to put her head through the doorway.) Faith, an’ I’ll
+watch fur ’em this toime, and ketch the crathers! (Exit Nora. Phone
+rings again. Nora enters, and seats herself.) Sure, and that’s a quare
+thing! That wasn’t the durebell at all, at all. I thought it sounded
+in this room, but there’s no bell here, at all, at all! If this house
+is haunted, its mesilf that won’t stay a night in the place, I don’t
+wurruk where there’s witches nor ghosts, that’s flat. (Bell rings
+again. Nora looks at phone.) Sure, and I belave it’s that little box
+that’s makin’ all the noise. Perhaps that’s the phone, now. But how can
+I answer it? There is no dure to open. (Bell rings again,) Shut up,
+you sassy box! I aint goin’ to answer yez. (Bell rings again.) Well,
+ting-a-ling-a-ling, thin. Doos that suit yez? (Enter Miss Courtney,
+dressed for the street.)
+
+_Miss C._ Why Nora, didn’t you hear the phone? You should answer it,
+when we are not here.
+
+_Nora._ Sure and I did answer it.
+
+_Miss C._ Who was it?
+
+_Nora._ Who was it? The Ould Harry himsilf, I belave. He kipt a ringin’
+and a ringin’ but niver a wurrud did he say.
+
+_Miss C._ That’s queer! (Bell rings again, Miss C. goes to phone. Nora
+watches curiously.)
+
+_Miss C._ Hello!—— Yes—— That’s too bad—— Something wrong with the
+line, maybe. The girl said she answered—— I’m sorry, but I’m just going
+out, and I must go the other way. Tell her I’ll run in tomorrow—— Yes——
+Goodbye. (Hangs up receiver.) Now if it rings again, Nora, answer it.
+I’ll be back to tea, but don’t say so to any one. Don’t know. Just say
+I’m out, and that you’ll give any message.
+
+_Nora._ I will do that same. (Miss C. goes out.)
+
+_Nora._ So that box is the tillyphone, is it? Quare things they have
+in Americky——little rooms that goes up or down with yez, pieanny’s
+that play thimselves, trumpets that sing at yez, and boxes that talk to
+yez! (Bell rings.) There goes the thing again. Well, she put this to
+her ear, and talked through this. Hello!—— It’s mesilf—— Sure and it
+isn’t. It’s number 12 Maple Avenue, Mrs. Coortney’s house—— Yis, I’m
+the gurrul, Nora Flanagan—— No, she’s not at home, she’s gone out, and
+the young lady too—— Sure, and she said she would be home at taytime——
+-Oh, begorra, she said I wasn’t to know whin she’d be home. I’ll give
+her a message if yez like—— Who did you say?—— Oh, yis, Mrs. Donahue——
+No?—— Oh, Mrs. Van Houton? Is that roight?—— Yis, I’ll tell her yez
+hollered through the little box, but I’ll not tell her yez called,
+for yez didn’t. I niver set eyes on yez. I can lie, if I must, for my
+misthress, but I shan’t lie to her—— Yis, goodbye to yez. (Hangs up
+receiver.) Sure and I did that in foine shtyle. It’s Nora Flanagan can
+learn the Yankee ways. Now where was that woman, I wonder? And how
+did I hear the voice av her so plain? It’s witchcraft, I do belave.
+Sure, and I’ll ask the praste, nixt toime I go to confession, if it’s
+all roight fer a good gurrul to middle with. If not, I shan’t answer
+the crather anny more. (Bell rings.) There it goes again. (Takes down
+receiver.) Hello!—— Yis, it’s Nora, sure—— No, there’s no one ilse
+here—— Sure, it’s a good hand yez are at coortin, but how do yez know
+how pretty I am?—— Yis, av coorse it’s Nora—— Odd? Yis, maybe. Yez own
+sounds odd, too—— Yis, I caught it, but I don’t care to have me ears
+kissed—— Do I, now? Well I’m not sure—— Yis, I’ll tell yez tonight, if
+yez come—— The theayter? Sure I will that same—— And a little supper,
+did yez say, aftherwards? I’ll be there—— No, it’s no freak, it’s the
+right voice av me—— Yis, I do thin, a little—— Well, goodbye thin, me
+dear—— Yis, at eight, goodbye. (Hangs up receiver.) To think I’ve got
+me a beau, so soon, and I’ve niver set eyes on him, nayther. Reginald!
+It’s a pretty name, that it is. Whin did he see me, I wonder? (Primps
+before glass.) Well there’s lots of Yankee gurruls not so good looking
+as Nora Flanagan. I must hurry up the tay, and be riddy whin me young
+man gits here. Bedad, I’ll be guessing he’s the perliceman that told me
+the way here. He was a foine looking man, to be sure, and Irish, by his
+look and brogue, but not by the name av him. Reginald! Real foine it
+sounds! (Exit into kitchen.)
+
+
+(CURTAIN)
+
+
+
+
+SCENE II.
+
+
+(Same setting as before. Mrs. C. and Miss C. just being let in by Nora.)
+
+_Mrs. C._ And did any one call for me while I was out, Nora?
+
+_Nora._ No mem, a Mrs. Donahue hollered through the tellyphone, and
+wanted me to say she called, but she niver came near the dure at all,
+at all. She didn’t seem to want nothin’ but to know what number this
+was, and what my name was. Rather sassy, she was, I thought.
+
+_Mrs. C._ Mrs. Donahue? I don’t know any Mrs. Donahue.
+
+_Nora._ Sure and I thought she didn’t know yez, all the toime, mem. She
+jist wanted to holler through the little bellbox.
+
+_Mrs. C._ Is tea ready?
+
+_Nora._ It is, mem.
+
+_Miss C._ And did any one call for me, at the door or the phone?
+
+_Nora._ Niver a sowl, Miss, (to Mrs. C.) Plaze mem, may I have me
+avenin’ out tonight, instid av tomorry?
+
+_Mrs. C._ Why, I don’t know. Why?
+
+_Nora._ It’s invited out I am, by me young man, mem.
+
+_Mrs. C._ But you told me you had no followers.
+
+_Nora._ No more I did, thin, but I hev one now. He called me on the
+phone, and I said I’d go. I must, mem, if I lose me place.
+
+_Mrs. C._ What does he do, Nora?
+
+_Nora._ He’s a perliceman, I belave, mem, and he has a swate way av
+making love over the phone. Sure, and I didn’t know yez could kiss
+through those little boxes.
+
+_Miss C._ Oh! But where is he going to take you, Nora?
+
+_Nora._ To the theayter, and a bit av a supper aftherwards, Miss. May I
+go, mem?
+
+_Mrs. C._ But who is he, Nora?
+
+_Nora._ Me beau, mem.
+
+_Mrs. C._ What is his name, I mean?
+
+_Nora._ His Christian name is Reginald, mem.
+
+_Mrs. C._ His last name?
+
+_Nora._ I fergit, exactly, mem.
+
+_Miss C._ (Suspiciously.) Are you sure it was you he called?
+
+_Nora._ And who else should it be? He called me Nora darlint, and made
+love over the phone in great shape. Sure, and he’s to git his answer
+tonight, so I must go.
+
+_Miss C._ Mamma! It was Reginald! He always calls me Nora.
+
+_Nora._ Is that yez name?
+
+_Miss C._ It’s Eleanora.
+
+_Nora._ Well, it’s mesilf that don’t want yez beau, but nayther kin yez
+hov moine. I’ll tell yez what I’ll do. We’ll both be riddy at eight,
+and bedad, he kin choose betwixt us.
+
+_Mrs. C._ Do you mean to say, Eleanora, that he would dare court you
+over the phone?
+
+_Miss C._ Well, he might. See here, Nora, I’ll show you my Reginald’s
+picture, and if that’s the one that comes, bring him in and call me. If
+not, you may have him. Is that fair? (Shows photo.)
+
+_Nora._ Sure and if that’s the man, yez kin have him and wilcome. It’s
+no city dude loike that, that Nora Flanagan wants. But bedad, if it
+is him, yez’ll hev to say yis or no this noight, for I promised him
+through the little phone that yez would. Good luck to yez, Miss, and
+good luck to me, too. If I’ve made a mis larrago this toime, mebbe the
+little bellbox’ll bring me a good Irish beau yit. Come out to tay, and
+thin bedad, we’ll both git ready for our beaux, and good luck to the
+both av us. Sure and it’s great fun answering the phone annyhow. (She
+goes out, followed by the others.)
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+Best Entertainments for Any Time.
+
+Dialogs and Plays.
+
+
+=A CORNER IN HEARTS.= By Edna Randolph Worrell. Parlor play for 4 young
+men and 1 lady, or 5 men. Very amusing. All the lovers propose to the
+same girl. Rich humor; pleasing situations. Excellent for any time. 25
+minutes. 15 cents.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL.= By Lettie Cook VanDerveer. A new play
+of the “Deestrick Skule” type. Up-to-date wit and clever drolleries. A
+city automobile party in contrast with rural youngsters. Lots of fun.
+Songs, etc., may be introduced. A capital play to make money for church
+or school. 25 cents.
+
+=A GOOSE AND SOME GEESE.= By Eleanor Stinchcomb. A Jolly Mother Goose
+play with a very pointed climax. For 5 girls and 7 boys. Time, 15
+minutes. 15 cents.
+
+=A HALLOWE’EN ADVENTURE.= A lively play, by Effie Louise Koogle. Full
+of ghostly excitement and spooky frolic. Specially suited for social
+occasions. 8 males and 8 females, or more. 3 scenes. 1 hour. 15 cents.
+
+=A LITTLE HEROINE OF THE REVOLUTION.= A play for all ages. By Elizabeth
+F. Guptill. A little girl is sent ostensibly to play with a friend,
+but really to carry a message to General Marion. She is captured by
+the British, but by her cleverness deceives them, and reaches her
+destination. Full of historic interest. 10 males, 5 females. More boys
+may be added as soldiers, if desired. 25 cents.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=AL MARTIN’S COUNTRY STORE.= A burlesque for from 15 to 30
+participants, by Archibald Humboldt and Martelle Everett. Unsurpassed
+for merriment, taking qualities and ease of production. A country
+store with all its peculiar environments is depicted. The loafers, the
+small customers, the gossipers, the lovers, the innocent fun makers,
+all have parts. There is a graceful plot that gathers interest as the
+play proceeds and culminates in a brilliant climax. Unquestionably the
+greatest success as a popular entertainment. 25 cents.
+
+=CONTEST OF THE NATIONS, THE.= A spectacular play or cantata, by
+Elizabeth F. Guptill. The Goddess of Liberty and 12 nations compete for
+the laurel crown. It embraces a fine march; splendid songs by Archibald
+Humboldt. Very effective. 13 ladies. 25 cents.
+
+=CABBAGE HILL SCHOOL.= A humorous play for children or young people,
+by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Presents the trials of a new “skewlmarm” on
+the opening day, and the performances of the pupils in the presence of
+august visitors on closing day. A veritable mirth-provoker. Full of the
+richest humor. 10 males. 16 female characters (or less). 25c.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=CROWNING THE MAY QUEEN.= A spectacular play by Elizabeth F. Guptill.
+Children go Maying, select and crown a queen, wind the Maypole, and
+have a merry time. The frolic is quickly changed to great excitement by
+the appearance of a gypsy, who attempts to abduct them. A very clever
+plot and a happy arrangement. 9 boys and 8 girls, or 17 girls. 25 cents.
+
+=CUPID’S JOKE.= A charming little drama in which Cupid plays an
+Important part. A splendid society play for St. Valentine’s Day, or any
+social occasion. 5 male and 5 female characters, and Cupid. 3 scenes,
+45 minutes. By Effie Louise Koogle. 15 cents.
+
+=DIALOGS FOR ANY TIME, ORIGINAL.= By Elizabeth F. Guptill. Interesting
+and amusing. May be given in any room with very few property
+requirements, by primary and intermediate grades. The author’s name is
+a guarantee of their excellence. They are witty, spicy and lively. 25
+cents.
+
+=DISPELLING OF BIG JIM, THE.= A negro farce in one act, by Sterling C.
+Brewer. Decidedly humorous. Big Jim is being tried by the officials
+of Big Bethel Church for some misdemeanor. The trial is full of
+interesting occurrences and culminates in an exciting event. Full of
+darky humor. 8 male characters. 30 minutes. 15 cents.
+
+=DOCTOR AND PATIENT.= By John M. Drake. 2 male characters. Very funny.
+5c.
+
+=DOIG’S EXCELLENT DIALOGS.= By Agnes M. Doig. Contains four excellent
+dialogs for the primary grades. “Keeping Store,” 3 girls, 1 boy.
+“Guessing,” 3 girls, 2 boys. “Playing School,” 4 boys, 4 girls.
+“Christmas Eve,” 3 girls, 2 boys. 10 cents.
+
+=DOLL DIALOG.= This is a very instructive dialog for 4 little girls. 5
+cents.
+
+=DOLLY SHOW, THE.= A dialog in rhyme for 7 little girls and 2 boys. The
+girls have a baby show with their dollies, and each “mother” shows her
+baby off to the best advantage. The judge is unusually wise, awarding
+the prize to the satisfaction of each one. The sayings of the little
+ones are cute, and the whole performance a great success. 15 cents.
+
+=DOLLS’ SYMPOSIUM, THE.= A most unique and captivating play, by
+Elizabeth F. Guptill. It combines spicy dialog, fascinating drills,
+clever burlesque, entrancing songs and cunning antics. Children
+impersonate the dolls and do the most amusing stunts. Unequaled as a
+surprising fun maker. For any number from 16 to 60. One-half to one and
+one-half hours, as desired. 25 cents.
+
+=GOING TO MEET AUNT HATTIE.= A dialog by Mrs. Hunt. For 1 male and 3
+female characters. 5 cents.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=THE GOLDEN GOBLET.= An exceedingly clever farce, with female cast, for
+Bachelor Girls’ and Women’s Clubs, Sororities, etc., by Louise Rand
+Bascom, author of “_The Masonic Ring_.” Uproariously funny with absurd
+situations and comical elaborations. A “hit” for any occasion. Easy to
+produce. Any number of characters, but 12 required. 1 hr. 35c.
+
+=HEIR OF MT. VERNON, THE.= A Colonial Society Play for any occasion, in
+which Washington’s social life, sterling manhood and courteous manners
+are portrayed. In one scene Christmas is celebrated in rare plantation
+style. Lively with old plantation melodies and pranks. By Effie Louise
+Koogle. For grammar grades or adults. 4 scenes, 8 boys and 8 girls, or
+more will be better. 1 to 2 hours. 25 cents.
+
+
+=No entertainments sent on approval or exchanged.=
+
+
+
+
+POPULAR ENTERTAINMENTS
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=THE RAG SOCIABLE.= A quaint old fashioned entertainment which is
+always sure to please. Libretto by Edith S. Tillotson. Music by various
+Composers. The dialog is very spicy and interesting, and humor and
+pathos are beautifully blended in the various musical selections. The
+characters include Mrs. Winters and her two daughters Betsy and Maria,
+Miss Jemima Rush, Mrs. Bassett, Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Salina Grey, the
+Allen twins (elderly), Mrs. Martha Ann Hall, Miss Eliza Hall, Mrs. Jane
+Tompkins and Amanda Tompkins. The list of characters may be extended
+ad. lib. to meet local conditions.
+
+A fine entertainment for a class of women or girls, Ladies’ Aid,
+Christian Endeavor and Epworth League Societies, etc. Price. 25 cents
+per copy.
+
+
+=LOVE FINDS THE WAY, or Tho Detective That Father Hired.= Music by
+Chas. H. Gabriel. Words by Rev. Wm. Danforth, author of “The Old
+District School,” etc. A highly amusing farcical song-skit, with four
+characters: A Determined Young Lover, an Irate Father, a Daughter with
+a Will of Her Own, and an Aiding and Abetting Mother—parts: tenor,
+basso, soprano and alto.
+
+This composition consists of singing and dialog for each part and will
+serve to enliven any entertainment. The music is moderately easy,
+melodious and should be available in practically all communities. This
+work consists of some 12 pages in sheet music form.
+
+The story is as follows: A father, who objects to his daughter having
+a beau, believing that she is planning to elope with an unknown young
+man, advertises for a detective to ferret the matter out. The young
+lover answers the advertisement, and the father hires him to detect
+the culprit, promising to pay him “anything within reason.” When the
+young lover’s true identity is disclosed, he demands as his reward, for
+having detected himself, the hand of the daughter. The irate father
+objects. The daughter eventually convinces him that true love was the
+real detective in the case, and the parental consent is given. Price.
+$1.50: 50 per cent. discount.
+
+
+=THE OLD DISTRICT SCHOOL.= A farce in two acts (new version). Book by
+Wm. Danforth. Music arr. by Geo. F. Rosche. This is a burlesque on the
+district school of 100 years ago. Ezekiel Simpkins, the teacher, is
+the central character. His costume is a tight Prince Albert coat, with
+brass buttons, or a worn and faded “claw-hammer” coat, colored vest cut
+low; stock collar, with large black tie; trousers, “high-water,” with
+a patch of other color on one knee; well-worn shoes. Bald gray wig and
+“side” whiskers. The costumes of the pupils are in keeping with those
+of the teacher. The characters all read their lines from the book, so
+that there is very little to be memorized and for this reason this work
+can be prepared in a very short time. Price, postpaid, 50 cents per
+copy.
+
+
+=THE CHAPERON.= A humorous Operetta in three Acts. Libretto by Wm.
+Danforth. Music by Geo. F. Rosche. “The Chaperon” is a humorous
+operetta designed for church choir and young people’s societies. It
+will be found available in all communities in which seven young men and
+seven young ladies who sing can be found. The music is bright, tuneful,
+easy to learn and easy to remember. The dialogue is witty, clean,
+wholesome and entertaining. Price, postpaid, 60 cents per copy.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=THE VISION OF HENSEL.= An evening with the old songs. The old songs of
+childhood, youth, love, war and home. Libretto by Ellan N. Wood. There
+is no friend like an old friend and after all there are no songs we
+love quite so much as the old ones.
+
+This cantata furnishes a beautiful medium for the introduction of the
+old songs which we all know and love. There is just enough libretto to
+the work to form a continuous chain of thought throughout, and we know
+of no cantata that will afford such a pleasing entertainment at such a
+small expenditure of labor. The book is well worth its price if only to
+secure this fine collection of old home songs. Full of sentiment, humor
+and pathos and decidedly new and fresh in construction. Price, 30 cents
+per copy, postpaid; $3.00 per dozen, not prepaid; add 3 cents per copy
+for postage.
+
+
+=THE SPINSTERS’ CLUB.= A humorous operetta in two acts. Libretto by
+Harriet D. Castle. Music by Geo. F. Rosche. “The Spinsters’ Club” is
+a humorous operetta designed for church choirs and young people’s
+societies. It will be found available in all communities in which a
+church choir is found. The music is bright, tuneful, and yet easy to
+learn and memorize. The dialogue is witty, pleasing and entertaining.
+Price, postpaid 60 cents per copy.
+
+=A returnable sample copy of any of the above mailed on receipt of 3
+cents for postage; to be returned postpaid or paid for in Thirty days.=
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ILLUSTRATED PANTOMIMED HYMNS
+
+=NEARER MY GOD TO THEE.= Posed under the direction of Eleanor H. Denig.
+This is a particularly fine production and lends itself admirably for
+a twelve-minute addition to an evening’s entertainment in the church
+or hall. The instructions are very clear so that this pantomime may be
+prepared by anyone with ordinary talent or ability. The fourteen full
+figure halftone illustrations will be found an excellent help.
+
+The music is very complete. The regular hymn tune is printed for mixed
+voices; also an original quartet for voices of women and on original
+setting for voices of men and an original duet for soprano and alto
+by J. S. Fearis, thus furnishing a variety of music found in no other
+publication of this sort. Price, 40 cents postpaid. “Not sent on
+examination.”
+
+
+=IT CAME UPON THE MIDNIGHT CLEAR.= Posed under the direction of
+Eleanor H. Denig. This pantomime will be particularly interesting
+during the winter season for a twelve-minute addition to church or
+other entertainments. The directions are very elaborate, enabling any
+person to prepare the same successfully. The music is very complete,
+consisting of a hymn tune for mixed voices; an original setting for
+voices of both women and men; also a very fine duet soprano and alto;
+the latter by Chas. H. Gabriel. Price, 40 cents per copy postpaid. “Not
+sent on examination.”
+
+
+
+
+NEW PLAYS
+
+By Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=The School at Mud Hollow.= A burlesque in two parts. 8 Males and 19
+Females. Time about 2 hours. Price 35 cents.
+
+PART I. In which is portrayed the difficulties encountered by
+Miss Arabella Pinkham, who has come to “Mud Hollow” to assume the
+responsible duties of “Teacher” in the school. In selecting “Mud
+Hollow” she seeks a change from the city life she is accustomed to, and
+finds plenty of it in the manners, customs and dialect of the pupils.
+From start to finish there is nothing but fun.
+
+PART II. Which represents the last day at the school, when the proud
+parents are present to listen to the final examination of the class
+by the Supervisor and enjoy the program which is rendered by the
+pupils. Part II. offers an opportunity for about 60 minutes of the
+finest fun possible. “_The School at Mud Hollow_” may be given in one
+evening, but for those who would prefer to make two evenings of it, or
+to give only one part, we offer the same work announced below under
+the title of “_The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School_” and “_The Last
+Day at Mud Hollow School_” either of which can be given as a complete
+entertainment without regard to the other one.
+
+=The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School.= Being Part I. of THE SCHOOL AT
+MUD HOLLOW. 6 Males and 14 Females. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents.
+
+=The Last Day at Mud Hollow School.= Being Part II. of THE SCHOOL AT
+MUD HOLLOW. 8 Males and 19 Females. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents.
+
+
+=Santa’s Rescue=
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Two mysterious pieces of paper fall into the hands of the children,
+one being found by the BOYS and one by the GIRLS. The meaning of the
+inscription on each remains a mystery until it is discerned that by
+placing the papers together they have the message that the “Old Witch”
+of the North has captured “Santa” and holds him in an ice prison at
+the North Pole. Of course there could be no “Merry Christmas” without
+their “patron saint”, so guided by the “Fairy Godmother” they start for
+the North Pole to rescue him. The “Old Witch” endeavors to block the
+rescuers’ way by the assistance of “Old Zero” and the “Snow Fairies”
+but when they learn that the snow drifts they are piling up are to aid
+in keeping “Santa” from his usual Christmas activities they get the
+“Sunbeam Fairies” to come to their aid and melt the snow, while they
+bind with a frozen cord the “Old Witch,” who is found indulging in a
+nap which she takes only once every hundred years. With the “Old Witch”
+powerless and in their control the Rescue of Santa is an easy matter.
+
+Tho’ belated somewhat by his enforced stay at the North Pole, the
+children are glad to become his “aides” in spreading a “Merry
+Christmas” through all the world. This is a very clever plot, well
+worked out, and will make a decided hit for the Christmas season. 4
+Boys and 5 Girls with any number of Fairies. Time about 1 hour. Price
+25 cents.
+
+
+FARCES
+
+=Taking the Census.= Mr. Cole, the Census Taker, has a funny experience
+in an attempt to gather the facts required by the government from Mrs.
+Almira Johnson, a “cullud lady,” and her young son Alexander. Three
+characters only. Time about 10 minutes. Price 10 cents.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+=Answering the Phone.= Mrs. Courtney and her daughter have a most
+trying experience with Nora Flanagan, the new “hired girl,” who in
+their absence attempts to carry out the instructions given with special
+reference to “answering the phone.” The final situation in which Nora
+makes a date with Miss Courtney’s “intended” is ridiculous in the
+extreme. 3 females. Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents.
+
+
+=The Twins and How They Entertained the New Minister.= They have a
+delightful time telling family secrets to the “New Minister,” who has
+called for the first time. They explain the necessity of seeing their
+mother to find out from her if she is “In,” for so often she is “Out”
+when she is “In” and “In” when she is “Out.” 2 Males and 1 Female. Time
+about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents.
+
+  =NO ENTERTAINMENTS SENT “ON EXAMINATION”=
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Transcriber’s Notes:
+
+Obvious punctuation errors repaired. Back cover advertisement had a
+Library of Congress sticker obscuring part of the upper right text. It
+was filled in using another cover’s text in the same series.
+
+Inside back cover, “particuarly” changed to “particularly” (be
+particularly interesting)
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Answering the Phone, by Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANSWERING THE PHONE ***
+
+***** This file should be named 53388-0.txt or 53388-0.zip *****
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+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of Answering the Phone, by Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
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+
+Title: Answering the Phone
+       A Farce
+
+Author: Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
+Release Date: October 28, 2016 [EBook #53388]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: UTF-8
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ANSWERING THE PHONE ***
+
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+Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
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+
+
+
+<h1 class="faux">Answering the Phone</h1>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 527px;">
+<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="527" height="800" alt="cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="center">
+<span class="u">New York &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; TULLAR-MEREDITH CO. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Chicago</span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle2"><span class="u">THE LATEST ENTERTAINMENTS—JUST PUBLISHED</span></div>
+
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">KRIS KRINGLE’S MINSTRELS.</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">By Effie Louise Koogle. The “totally different” Christmas entertainment. Add to the
+attractiveness of the minstrel show idea the distinction of having “His Royal Nibs” as Interlocutor,
+with equally unique personalities as End Men, endow them with a program flashing
+with fun, brilliant with beauty, enlivening with song and teeming with specialties, and you
+have a scream of delight from start to finish. The most novel novelty of the age. 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">THE CRIMSON AND THE BLUE.</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">By Edith Palmer Painton. A class play in four acts and an epilog. 6 males, 6 females.
+We have prevailed upon the author to allow us to publish this remarkably successful commencement
+play, which has been leased in manuscript for several years, and which always
+scores a brilliant success. It is the highest type commencement play. Acting rights free
+to purchaser of 12 copies. 35 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">VERA’S VACATION.</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">By Louise Rand Bascom. 4 males, 5 females. This accomplished author has done nothing
+better than this absorbing story of a summer vacation and the marvelous transformation of a
+grouchy father into a genial friend. The summer boarders are every one eccentric characters
+and the opportunities are immense. Clean, wholesome, elegant. Strongly recommended. 25c.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">THE CHARITY PUPIL.</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">By Misses Rice and Clark. 14 females. A boarding school episode lively with vivacious
+pranks and interesting situations. The plot is strong, and culminates in a happy surprise.
+Stunts and specialties introduced. A splendid class play. 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">PETITE PLAYS.</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">A capital collection of the spiciest comic dialogs, comedies and farces by the best known
+writers in America. These plays are short, strong, pithy and witty, easy to give, and require
+only from two to six characters. Just right for schools. 30 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">HUMOR UP-TO-DATE.</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">The cleverest humor of modern times. Monologs, readings and recitations, portraying the
+funny side of present-day notions and doings. Fresh, crisp, snappy. For all ages. 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4"><big>The Famous Five-Cent Funny Farces.</big></div>
+
+<div class="hangsection">
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>AUNT JERUSHA AND UNCLE JOSH.</b> By Effie Louise Koogle. 1 male, 2 females.
+These eccentric folk visit the school, producing no end of fun. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>AUNT LUCINDY STAYS.</b> By Willis N. Bugbee. 2 males, 2 females. Two darky characters
+make lots of fun. Clever and clean. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>“BEAT IT!”</b> By Willis N. Bugbee. 3 males, 1 female. A scolding wife makes trouble for
+everybody, the parson included. Oceans of fun. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE BUGTOWN BAND.</b> By Archibald Humboldt. 4 males, 1 female. More fun than
+you can imagine, and a little music which anybody can make. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE BUZZVILLE NEWS.</b> By Effie Louise Koogle. 2 males, 1 female. A breezy conversation
+between the manager and new editor. A sure hit. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>BETTY AND BETSY.</b> By Willis N. Bugbee. 2 males, 2 females. Betsy was advertised
+for sale, but he wanted Betty. Bright and pretty. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>DOT ENTERTAINS.</b> By Elizabeth F. Guptill. 1 male, 1 female. Dot entertains her big
+sister’s beau, and the things she tells him are a plenty. A big success. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE GOOSE FEATHER BED.</b> By Willis N. Bugbee. 4 males, 1 female. A dandy little
+play for Irish and eccentric characters. Easy and amusing. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE LUNATIC OR THE PROFESSOR.</b> By Louise Rand Bascom. 2 males, 2 females.
+The lunatic is mistaken for the brain specialist, which is hard on the lunatic. Great. 5c.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>LOOK OUT FOR HEZIKIAH.</b> By Louise Rand Bascom. 3 males, 1 female. Hayseed
+parents visit college dean. Splendid opportunity for clever acting. Bright and amusing. 5c.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>LAUGHTER AND SONG.</b> By Archibald Humboldt. 3 males, 4 females. Comic dialog
+interspersed with jolly songs, making a continuous funny story. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>MORE TIME OUT.</b> By Carolyn F. Rice. 7 females. An amusing comedy dealing with the
+servant problem. The characters are strongly contrasted. Easy, but effective. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>OH, YOU TEACHER!</b> By C. A. Donaldson. 8 males, 4 females. A splendid comedy of
+school life, showing the amateur teacher’s trials. Funny and well suited for schools. 5c.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>ONE ON THE AGENT.</b> By Louise Rand Bascom. 1 male, 1 female. A clever skit,
+bright with telling repartee. Recommended for all occasions. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE “PHYSICAL TORTURE” CLUB.</b> By Willis N. Bugbee. 2 m., 2 f. Physical culture
+exercises for which Ma is too stout and Pa is too rheumatic. Killingly funny. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>RASTUS BLINK’S MINSTRELS.</b> By Effie Louise Koogle. For any number. His “Kinky
+Koons” are killing. The jolliest minstrel show ever. A deluge of drollery. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE SQUASHVILLE FIRE BRIGADE.</b> By Willis N. Bugbee. 3 males, 2 females, and
+other firemen, if desired. A brisk and snappy little dialog. Easy and clever. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>“SCAT!”</b> By Louise Rand Bascom. 1 male, 1 female. Cunning attempt of an old maid to
+prove her youth. Very laughable. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>SEEING THE ANIMALS.</b> By Clara J. Denton. 1 male, 2 females. A swell hotel clerk,
+a suffragette, and a spoiled child make a lively time. A hit. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE STUPID WITNESS.</b> 3 males. The lawyer and witness lock horns and have an
+awful time, but it’s fun for the audience. Swift and keen. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE TRAIN LEAVES IN TEN MINUTES.</b> By Louise Rand Bascom. 1 male, 2 females.
+Will they catch the train? The awful suspense is punctured by fun and wit. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>WANTED: A LICENSE TO WED.</b> By Elizabeth F. Guptill. 2 males, 1 female. Humorous
+situation resulting from a misunderstanding. Irish dialect. 5 cents.</p></div>
+
+<p class="center">
+<b>No entertainments sent on approval or exchanged.</b><br />
+</p>
+
+<hr class="chap" />
+
+<p class="unindent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+<div class="bbox">
+<div class="maintitle">Answering the Phone</div>
+
+<div class="center">
+A Farce<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+By<br />
+<br />
+ELIZABETH F. GUPTILL<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<i>Price 10 Cents</i><br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<br />
+<i>All Rights Reserved, Amateur Performance Permitted</i><br />
+<br />
+<br /></div>
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 197px;">
+<img src="images/emblem.jpg" width="197" height="50" alt="Tullar-Meredith logo" />
+</div>
+
+<div class="center">
+<br />
+265 West 36th Street, New York&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 14 W. Washington Street, Chicago<br />
+</div><div class="copyright"><br />
+<i>Copyright 1914 by Tullar-Meredith Co<br />
+International Copyright Secured</i><br />
+</div></div>
+
+<hr class="chap" />
+
+<p class="unindent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a><br /><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<div class="maintitle">Answering the Phone</div>
+<hr class="tb" />
+
+<h2>Characters</h2>
+
+<p class="unindent">Mrs. Courtney; Miss Eleanora Courtney, her daughter; Nora
+Flanagan, the new hired girl.</p>
+
+
+
+<hr class="tb" />
+<h2>SCENE I.</h2>
+
+<p class="unindent">The living room of the Courtney home. Mrs. Courtney dressed
+ready for the street. She gives finishing touches to her toilet
+before the mirror, then steps to side door.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> If any one calls while I am gone, Nora, say I am out.
+Make hot biscuits for tea, and open a jar of strawberries. Be
+sure to answer the phone. The last girl I had didn’t know what
+a telephone was, and ignored it all the afternoon. It made me
+a lot of trouble, and I had to let her go. I will leave the door
+open so you can hear it.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> (Without.) I’ll answer it, mem, to be sure.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> Very well. I’ll be back before tea time, but don’t tell
+any caller so. Just say I’m out. If they ask when I’ll return,
+you don’t know.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Faith an’ I do, thin—befoor tay time.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> I mean you must tell them you don’t know. Remember,
+now, and be sure to answer the phone.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">(Exit Mrs. C. by other side door. In a minute, Nora appears
+from kitchen, looks toward that door.)</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Sure an’ she didn’t lave the outside dure opin, so it
+must be this dure she was afther manin’. So the last gurl
+didn’t know what a tillyphone was, didn’t she? Will, sorra a
+bit more do I, but I’ll answer it if it shpakes to me, civil-like.
+It must be in this room, for this was the dure she lift open. Now
+is it a Polly Parrot, or what is it? Begorry, its Nora Flanagan
+that don’t know at all, at all. Come, Tilly, Tilly, Tilly! Come<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span>
+show yuresilf, and lit me hear the voice av yez. Where in the
+wurruld doos yez kape yersilf? Come Phony, Phony, Phony!
+Come, that’s a good baste! (She has been looking everywhere.
+She now seats herself.) Stay where yez are, thin, bad ’cess to
+yez! I naden’t answer yez if yez don’t shpake, that’s sure!
+(Phone rings; Nora jumps, with a little scream.) Sure an’ I
+niver heard the durebell sound as near as that! (Exit.) (Comes
+back muttering.) Bad ’cess to thim byes! A rapping and a
+ringing and thin whin yez go to the dure, no wan bees there, at
+all, at all! (Phone rings again. Nora runs out, but comes back
+to put her head through the doorway.) Faith, an’ I’ll watch
+fur ’em this toime, and ketch the crathers! (Exit Nora. Phone
+rings again. Nora enters, and seats herself.) Sure, and that’s
+a quare thing! That wasn’t the durebell at all, at all. I thought
+it sounded in this room, but there’s no bell here, at all, at all! If
+this house is haunted, its mesilf that won’t stay a night in the
+place, I don’t wurruk where there’s witches nor ghosts, that’s
+flat. (Bell rings again. Nora looks at phone.) Sure, and I
+belave it’s that little box that’s makin’ all the noise. Perhaps
+that’s the phone, now. But how can I answer it? There is no
+dure to open. (Bell rings again,) Shut up, you sassy box! I
+aint goin’ to answer yez. (Bell rings again.) Well, ting-a-ling-a-ling,
+thin. Doos that suit yez? (Enter Miss Courtney, dressed
+for the street.)</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> Why Nora, didn’t you hear the phone? You should
+answer it, when we are not here.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Sure and I did answer it.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> Who was it?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Who was it? The Ould Harry himsilf, I belave. He
+kipt a ringin’ and a ringin’ but niver a wurrud did he say.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> That’s queer! (Bell rings again, Miss C. goes to phone.
+Nora watches curiously.)</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> Hello!—— Yes—— That’s too bad—— Something
+wrong with the line, maybe. The girl said she answered——
+I’m sorry, but I’m just going out, and I must go the other way.
+Tell her I’ll run in tomorrow—— Yes—— Goodbye. (Hangs
+up receiver.) Now if it rings again, Nora, answer it. I’ll be
+back to tea, but don’t say so to any one. Don’t know. Just
+say I’m out, and that you’ll give any message.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> I will do that same. (Miss C. goes out.)</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> So that box is the tillyphone, is it? Quare things they
+have in Americky——little rooms that goes up or down with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span>
+yez, pieanny’s that play thimselves, trumpets that sing at yez,
+and boxes that talk to yez! (Bell rings.) There goes the thing
+again. Well, she put this to her ear, and talked through this.
+Hello!—— It’s mesilf—— Sure and it isn’t. It’s number 12
+Maple Avenue, Mrs. Coortney’s house—— Yis, I’m the gurrul,
+Nora Flanagan—— No, she’s not at home, she’s gone out, and
+the young lady too—— Sure, and she said she would be home
+at taytime—— -Oh, begorra, she said I wasn’t to know whin she’d
+be home. I’ll give her a message if yez like—— Who did you
+say?—— Oh, yis, Mrs. Donahue—— No?—— Oh, Mrs. Van Houton?
+Is that roight?—— Yis, I’ll tell her yez hollered through the
+little box, but I’ll not tell her yez called, for yez didn’t. I niver
+set eyes on yez. I can lie, if I must, for my misthress, but I
+shan’t lie to her—— Yis, goodbye to yez. (Hangs up receiver.)
+Sure and I did that in foine shtyle. It’s Nora Flanagan can
+learn the Yankee ways. Now where was that woman, I wonder?
+And how did I hear the voice av her so plain? It’s witchcraft,
+I do belave. Sure, and I’ll ask the praste, nixt toime I go to
+confession, if it’s all roight fer a good gurrul to middle with. If
+not, I shan’t answer the crather anny more. (Bell rings.)
+There it goes again. (Takes down receiver.) Hello!—— Yis,
+it’s Nora, sure—— No, there’s no one ilse here—— Sure, it’s a
+good hand yez are at coortin, but how do yez know how pretty I
+am?—— Yis, av coorse it’s Nora—— Odd? Yis, maybe. Yez
+own sounds odd, too—— Yis, I caught it, but I don’t care to
+have me ears kissed—— Do I, now? Well I’m not sure—— Yis,
+I’ll tell yez tonight, if yez come—— The theayter? Sure I will
+that same—— And a little supper, did yez say, aftherwards?
+I’ll be there—— No, it’s no freak, it’s the right voice av me—— Yis,
+I do thin, a little—— Well, goodbye thin, me dear—— Yis,
+at eight, goodbye. (Hangs up receiver.) To think I’ve got me
+a beau, so soon, and I’ve niver set eyes on him, nayther.
+Reginald! It’s a pretty name, that it is. Whin did he see me,
+I wonder? (Primps before glass.) Well there’s lots of Yankee
+gurruls not so good looking as Nora Flanagan. I must hurry
+up the tay, and be riddy whin me young man gits here. Bedad,
+I’ll be guessing he’s the perliceman that told me the way here.
+He was a foine looking man, to be sure, and Irish, by his look
+and brogue, but not by the name av him. Reginald! Real foine
+it sounds! (Exit into kitchen.)</p>
+
+
+<div class="center">(CURTAIN)</div>
+
+<hr class="chap" />
+
+<p class="unindent"><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span></p>
+
+
+
+
+<h2>SCENE II.</h2>
+
+
+<p class="unindent">(Same setting as before. Mrs. C. and Miss C. just being let in
+by Nora.)</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> And did any one call for me while I was out, Nora?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> No mem, a Mrs. Donahue hollered through the tellyphone,
+and wanted me to say she called, but she niver came
+near the dure at all, at all. She didn’t seem to want nothin’
+but to know what number this was, and what my name was.
+Rather sassy, she was, I thought.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> Mrs. Donahue? I don’t know any Mrs. Donahue.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Sure and I thought she didn’t know yez, all the toime,
+mem. She jist wanted to holler through the little bellbox.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> Is tea ready?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> It is, mem.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> And did any one call for me, at the door or the phone?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Niver a sowl, Miss, (to Mrs. C.) Plaze mem, may I
+have me avenin’ out tonight, instid av tomorry?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> Why, I don’t know. Why?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> It’s invited out I am, by me young man, mem.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> But you told me you had no followers.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> No more I did, thin, but I hev one now. He called me
+on the phone, and I said I’d go. I must, mem, if I lose me
+place.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> What does he do, Nora?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> He’s a perliceman, I belave, mem, and he has a swate
+way av making love over the phone. Sure, and I didn’t know
+yez could kiss through those little boxes.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> Oh! But where is he going to take you, Nora?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> To the theayter, and a bit av a supper aftherwards,
+Miss. May I go, mem?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> But who is he, Nora?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Me beau, mem.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> What is his name, I mean?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> His Christian name is Reginald, mem.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> His last name?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> I fergit, exactly, mem.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> (Suspiciously.) Are you sure it was you he called?<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span></p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> And who else should it be? He called me Nora darlint,
+and made love over the phone in great shape. Sure, and he’s
+to git his answer tonight, so I must go.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> Mamma! It was Reginald! He always calls me Nora.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Is that yez name?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> It’s Eleanora.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Well, it’s mesilf that don’t want yez beau, but nayther
+kin yez hov moine. I’ll tell yez what I’ll do. We’ll both be
+riddy at eight, and bedad, he kin choose betwixt us.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Mrs. C.</i> Do you mean to say, Eleanora, that he would dare
+court you over the phone?</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Miss C.</i> Well, he might. See here, Nora, I’ll show you my
+Reginald’s picture, and if that’s the one that comes, bring him
+in and call me. If not, you may have him. Is that fair? (Shows
+photo.)</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><i>Nora.</i> Sure and if that’s the man, yez kin have him and
+wilcome. It’s no city dude loike that, that Nora Flanagan
+wants. But bedad, if it is him, yez’ll hev to say yis or no this
+noight, for I promised him through the little phone that yez
+would. Good luck to yez, Miss, and good luck to me, too. If
+I’ve made a mis larrago this toime, mebbe the little bellbox’ll
+bring me a good Irish beau yit. Come out to tay, and thin
+bedad, we’ll both git ready for our beaux, and good luck to the
+both av us. Sure and it’s great fun answering the phone annyhow.
+(She goes out, followed by the others.)</p>
+
+<div class="figcenter" style="width: 75px;">
+<img src="images/decoration.jpg" width="75" height="38" alt="two flowers decoration" />
+</div>
+
+
+<hr class="full" />
+
+<div class="adtitle2">Best Entertainments for Any Time.</div>
+
+<div class="adtitle3">Dialogs and Plays.</div>
+
+
+<p><b>A CORNER IN HEARTS.</b> By Edna Randolph Worrell. Parlor play for 4 young men
+and 1 lady, or 5 men. Very amusing. All the lovers propose to the same girl. Rich
+humor; pleasing situations. Excellent for any time. 25 minutes. 15 cents.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 113px;">
+<img src="images/i-010a.jpg" width="113" height="165" alt="A Day at Happy Hollow School cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p><b>A DAY AT HAPPY HOLLOW SCHOOL.</b> By Lettie Cook VanDerveer.
+A new play of the “Deestrick Skule” type. Up-to-date wit and clever
+drolleries. A city automobile party in contrast with rural youngsters. Lots
+of fun. Songs, etc., may be introduced. A capital play to make money
+for church or school. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>A GOOSE AND SOME GEESE.</b> By Eleanor Stinchcomb. A Jolly Mother
+Goose play with a very pointed climax. For 5 girls and 7 boys. Time,
+15 minutes. 15 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>A HALLOWE’EN ADVENTURE.</b> A lively play, by Effie Louise Koogle.
+Full of ghostly excitement and spooky frolic. Specially suited for social
+occasions. 8 males and 8 females, or more. 3 scenes. 1 hour. 15 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>A LITTLE HEROINE OF THE REVOLUTION.</b> A play for all ages.
+By Elizabeth F. Guptill. A little girl is sent ostensibly to play with a
+friend, but really to carry a message to General Marion. She is captured by the British,
+but by her cleverness deceives them, and reaches her destination. Full of historic interest.
+10 males, 5 females. More boys may be added as soldiers, if desired. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 120px;">
+<img src="images/i-010b.jpg" width="120" height="160" alt="Al Martin's Country store cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p><b>AL MARTIN’S COUNTRY STORE.</b> A burlesque for from 15 to 30 participants,
+by Archibald Humboldt and Martelle Everett. Unsurpassed for
+merriment, taking qualities and ease of production. A country store with
+all its peculiar environments is depicted. The loafers, the small customers,
+the gossipers, the lovers, the innocent fun makers, all have parts.
+There is a graceful plot that gathers interest as the play proceeds and
+culminates in a brilliant climax. Unquestionably the greatest success as a
+popular entertainment. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>CONTEST OF THE NATIONS, THE.</b> A spectacular play or cantata,
+by Elizabeth F. Guptill. The Goddess of Liberty and 12 nations compete
+for the laurel crown. It embraces a fine march; splendid songs by Archibald
+Humboldt. Very effective. 13 ladies. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 121px;">
+<img src="images/i-010c.jpg" width="121" height="162" alt="Cabbage Hill School cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p><b>CABBAGE HILL SCHOOL.</b> A humorous play for children or young
+people, by Elizabeth F. Guptill. Presents the trials of a new “skewlmarm”
+on the opening day, and the performances of the pupils in the
+presence of august visitors on closing day. A veritable mirth-provoker.
+Full of the richest humor. 10 males. 16 female characters (or less). 25c.</p>
+
+<p><b>CROWNING THE MAY QUEEN.</b> A spectacular play by Elizabeth F.
+Guptill. Children go Maying, select and crown a queen, wind the Maypole,
+and have a merry time. The frolic is quickly changed to great excitement by
+the appearance of a gypsy, who attempts to abduct them. A very clever
+plot and a happy arrangement. 9 boys and 8 girls, or 17 girls. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>CUPID’S JOKE.</b> A charming little drama in which Cupid plays an
+Important part. A splendid society play for St. Valentine’s Day, or any
+social occasion. 5 male and 5 female characters, and Cupid. 3 scenes,
+45 minutes. By Effie Louise Koogle. 15 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>DIALOGS FOR ANY TIME, ORIGINAL.</b> By Elizabeth F. Guptill. Interesting and
+amusing. May be given in any room with very few property requirements, by primary and
+intermediate grades. The author’s name is a guarantee of their excellence. They are
+witty, spicy and lively. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>DISPELLING OF BIG JIM, THE.</b> A negro farce in one act, by Sterling C. Brewer.
+Decidedly humorous. Big Jim is being tried by the officials of Big Bethel Church for
+some misdemeanor. The trial is full of interesting occurrences and culminates in an exciting
+event. Full of darky humor. 8 male characters. 30 minutes. 15 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>DOCTOR AND PATIENT.</b> By John M. Drake. 2 male characters. Very funny. 5c.</p>
+
+<p><b>DOIG’S EXCELLENT DIALOGS.</b> By Agnes M. Doig. Contains four excellent dialogs
+for the primary grades. “Keeping Store,” 3 girls, 1 boy. “Guessing,” 3 girls, 2 boys.
+“Playing School,” 4 boys, 4 girls. “Christmas Eve,” 3 girls, 2 boys. 10 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>DOLL DIALOG.</b> This is a very instructive dialog for 4 little girls. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>DOLLY SHOW, THE.</b> A dialog in rhyme for 7 little girls and 2 boys. The girls have
+a baby show with their dollies, and each “mother” shows her baby off to the best advantage.
+The judge is unusually wise, awarding the prize to the satisfaction of each one. The sayings
+of the little ones are cute, and the whole performance a great success. 15 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>DOLLS’ SYMPOSIUM, THE.</b> A most unique and captivating play, by Elizabeth
+F. Guptill. It combines spicy dialog, fascinating drills, clever
+burlesque, entrancing songs and cunning antics. Children impersonate
+the dolls and do the most amusing stunts. Unequaled as a
+surprising fun maker. For any number from 16 to 60. One-half
+to one and one-half hours, as desired. 25 cents.</p>
+
+<p><b>GOING TO MEET AUNT HATTIE.</b> A dialog by Mrs. Hunt. For
+1 male and 3 female characters. 5 cents.</p>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 129px;">
+<img src="images/i-010d.jpg" width="129" height="200" alt="The Golden Coblet Cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p><b>THE GOLDEN GOBLET.</b> An exceedingly clever farce, with female
+cast, for Bachelor Girls’ and Women’s Clubs, Sororities, etc., by Louise
+Rand Bascom, author of “<i>The Masonic Ring</i>.” Uproariously funny with
+absurd situations and comical elaborations. A “hit” for any occasion.
+Easy to produce. Any number of characters, but 12 required. 1 hr. 35c.</p>
+
+<p><b>HEIR OF MT. VERNON, THE.</b> A Colonial Society Play for any
+occasion, in which Washington’s social life, sterling manhood and courteous
+manners are portrayed. In one scene Christmas is celebrated in
+rare plantation style. Lively with old plantation melodies and pranks.
+By Effie Louise Koogle. For grammar grades or adults. 4 scenes, 8 boys
+and 8 girls, or more will be better. 1 to 2 hours. 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p class="center"><b>No entertainments sent on approval or exchanged.</b></p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p class="center">
+<span class="u">New York &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; TULLAR-MEREDITH CO. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Chicago</span><br />
+</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle1">POPULAR ENTERTAINMENTS</div>
+
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 174px;">
+<img src="images/i-011a.jpg" width="174" height="250" alt="The Rag Sociable cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE RAG SOCIABLE.</b> A quaint old fashioned entertainment which is always sure to
+please. Libretto by Edith S. Tillotson. Music by various Composers. The dialog is very
+spicy and interesting, and humor and pathos are beautifully blended in the various musical
+selections. The characters include Mrs. Winters and her two daughters Betsy and Maria,
+Miss Jemima Rush, Mrs. Bassett, Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Salina Grey, the Allen twins (elderly),
+Mrs. Martha Ann Hall, Miss Eliza Hall, Mrs. Jane Tompkins and Amanda Tompkins. The
+list of characters may be extended ad. lib. to meet local conditions.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">A fine entertainment for a class of women or girls, Ladies’ Aid, Christian Endeavor and
+Epworth League Societies, etc. Price. 25 cents per copy.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>LOVE FINDS THE WAY, or Tho Detective That Father Hired.</b> Music by Chas. H.
+Gabriel. Words by Rev. Wm. Danforth, author of “The Old District School,” etc. A
+highly amusing farcical song-skit, with four characters: A Determined Young Lover,
+an Irate Father, a Daughter with a Will of Her Own, and an Aiding and Abetting Mother—parts:
+tenor, basso, soprano and alto.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">This composition consists of singing and dialog for each part and will serve to enliven any
+entertainment. The music is moderately easy, melodious and should be available in
+practically all communities. This work consists of some 12 pages in sheet music form.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">The story is as follows: A father, who objects to his daughter having a beau, believing that she is planning to elope
+with an unknown young man, advertises for a detective to ferret the matter out. The young lover answers the advertisement,
+and the father hires him to detect the culprit, promising to pay him “anything within reason.” When
+the young lover’s true identity is disclosed, he demands as his reward, for having detected himself, the hand of the
+daughter. The irate father objects. The daughter eventually convinces him that true love was the real detective in
+the case, and the parental consent is given. Price. $1.50: 50 per cent. discount.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE OLD DISTRICT SCHOOL.</b> A farce in two acts (new version). Book by Wm. Danforth. Music arr. by Geo. F.
+Rosche. This is a burlesque on the district school of 100 years ago. Ezekiel Simpkins, the teacher, is the central character.
+His costume is a tight Prince Albert coat, with brass buttons, or a worn and faded “claw-hammer” coat, colored
+vest cut low; stock collar, with large black tie; trousers, “high-water,” with a patch of other color on one knee; well-worn
+shoes. Bald gray wig and “side” whiskers. The costumes of the pupils are in keeping with those of the teacher.
+The characters all read their lines from the book, so that there is very little to be memorized and for this reason this
+work can be prepared in a very short time. Price, postpaid, 50 cents per copy.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE CHAPERON.</b> A humorous Operetta in three Acts. Libretto by Wm. Danforth. Music by Geo. F. Rosche.
+“The Chaperon” is a humorous operetta designed for church choir and young people’s societies. It will be found available
+in all communities in which seven young men and seven young ladies who sing can be found. The music is bright,
+tuneful, easy to learn and easy to remember. The dialogue is witty, clean, wholesome and entertaining. Price, postpaid,
+60 cents per copy.</p>
+
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 178px;">
+<img src="images/i-011b.jpg" width="178" height="261" alt="The Vision of Hensel cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE VISION OF HENSEL.</b> An evening with the old songs. The old songs of childhood,
+youth, love, war and home. Libretto by Ellan N. Wood. There is no friend like
+an old friend and after all there are no songs we love quite so much as the old ones.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">This cantata furnishes a beautiful medium for the introduction of the old songs which
+we all know and love. There is just enough libretto to the work to form a continuous
+chain of thought throughout, and we know of no cantata that will afford such a pleasing
+entertainment at such a small expenditure of labor. The book is well worth its price if
+only to secure this fine collection of old home songs. Full of sentiment, humor and
+pathos and decidedly new and fresh in construction. Price, 30 cents per copy, postpaid;
+$3.00 per dozen, not prepaid; add 3 cents per copy for postage.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>THE SPINSTERS’ CLUB.</b> A humorous operetta in two acts. Libretto by Harriet D.
+Castle. Music by Geo. F. Rosche. “The Spinsters’ Club” is a humorous operetta
+designed for church choirs and young people’s societies. It will be found available in
+all communities in which a church choir is found. The music is bright, tuneful, and
+yet easy to learn and memorize. The dialogue is witty, pleasing and entertaining.
+Price, postpaid 60 cents per copy.</p>
+
+<p class="center"><b>A returnable sample copy of any of the above mailed on receipt of 3 cents for postage; to be
+returned postpaid or paid for in Thirty days.</b></p>
+
+<hr class="tb" />
+
+
+<div class="adtitle3">ILLUSTRATED PANTOMIMED HYMNS</div>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>NEARER MY GOD TO THEE.</b> Posed under the direction of Eleanor H. Denig. This is a particularly fine production
+and lends itself admirably for a twelve-minute addition to an evening’s entertainment in the church or hall. The
+instructions are very clear so that this pantomime may be prepared by anyone with ordinary talent or ability. The
+fourteen full figure halftone illustrations will be found an excellent help.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">The music is very complete. The regular hymn tune is printed for mixed voices; also an original quartet for voices of
+women and on original setting for voices of men and an original duet for soprano and alto by J. S. Fearis, thus furnishing
+a variety of music found in no other publication of this sort. Price, 40 cents postpaid. “Not sent on examination.”</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>IT CAME UPON THE MIDNIGHT CLEAR.</b> Posed under the direction of Eleanor H. Denig. This pantomime will
+be particularly interesting during the winter season for a twelve-minute addition to church or other entertainments.
+The directions are very elaborate, enabling any person to prepare the same successfully. The music is very complete,
+consisting of a hymn tune for mixed voices; an original setting for voices of both women and men; also a very fine duet
+soprano and alto; the latter by Chas. H. Gabriel. Price, 40 cents per copy postpaid. “Not sent on examination.”</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<p class="center">
+<span class="u">New York &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; TULLAR-MEREDITH CO. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Chicago</span><br />
+</p>
+
+<div class="adtitle1">===NEW PLAYS===</div>
+
+<div class="center">By Elizabeth F. Guptill</div>
+
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 178px;">
+<img src="images/i-012a.jpg" width="178" height="260" alt="The School at Mud Hollow cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>The School at Mud Hollow.</b> A burlesque in two parts. 8 Males and 19
+Females. Time about 2 hours. Price 35 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">PART I. In which is portrayed the difficulties encountered by Miss Arabella
+Pinkham, who has come to “Mud Hollow” to assume the responsible
+duties of “Teacher” in the school. In selecting “Mud Hollow” she seeks a
+change from the city life she is accustomed to, and finds plenty of it in the
+manners, customs and dialect of the pupils. From start to finish there is
+nothing but fun.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">PART II. Which represents the last day at the school, when the proud
+parents are present to listen to the final examination of the class by the
+Supervisor and enjoy the program which is rendered by the pupils. Part
+II. offers an opportunity for about 60 minutes of the finest fun possible.
+“<i>The School at Mud Hollow</i>” may be given in one evening, but for those
+who would prefer to make two evenings of it, or to give only one part, we
+offer the same work announced below under the title of “<i>The New Teacher at Mud Hollow
+School</i>” and “<i>The Last Day at Mud Hollow School</i>” either of which can be given as a
+complete entertainment without regard to the other one.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>The New Teacher at Mud Hollow School.</b> Being Part I. of THE SCHOOL AT MUD HOLLOW.
+6 Males and 14 Females. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>The Last Day at Mud Hollow School.</b> Being Part II. of THE SCHOOL AT MUD HOLLOW.
+8 Males and 19 Females. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle4">Santa’s Rescue</div>
+
+<div class="figright" style="width: 158px;">
+<img src="images/i-012b.jpg" width="158" height="223" alt="Santa's Rescue cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="unindent">Two mysterious pieces of paper fall into the hands of the children, one
+being found by the BOYS and one by the GIRLS. The meaning of the inscription
+on each remains a mystery until it is discerned that by placing
+the papers together they have the message that the “Old Witch” of the
+North has captured “Santa” and holds him in an ice prison at the North Pole.
+Of course there could be no “Merry Christmas” without their “patron saint”,
+so guided by the “Fairy Godmother” they start for the North Pole to rescue
+him. The “Old Witch” endeavors to block the rescuers’ way by the assistance
+of “Old Zero” and the “Snow Fairies” but when they learn that
+the snow drifts they are piling up are to aid in keeping “Santa” from his
+usual Christmas activities they get the “Sunbeam Fairies” to come to their
+aid and melt the snow, while they bind with a frozen cord the “Old Witch,”
+who is found indulging in a nap which she takes only once every hundred years. With the “Old
+Witch” powerless and in their control the Rescue of Santa is an easy matter.</p>
+
+<p class="unindent">Tho’ belated somewhat by his enforced stay at the North Pole, the children are glad to become
+his “aides” in spreading a “Merry Christmas” through all the world. This is a very clever plot,
+well worked out, and will make a decided hit for the Christmas season. 4 Boys and 5 Girls with
+any number of Fairies. Time about 1 hour. Price 25 cents.</p>
+
+
+<div class="adtitle2">FARCES</div>
+
+<div class="figleft" style="width: 172px;">
+<img src="images/i-012c.jpg" width="172" height="256" alt="Answering the Phone Cover" />
+</div>
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>Taking the Census.</b> Mr. Cole, the Census Taker, has a funny experience
+in an attempt to gather the facts required by the government from Mrs.
+Almira Johnson, a “cullud lady,” and her young son Alexander. Three
+characters only. Time about 10 minutes. Price 10 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>Answering the Phone.</b> Mrs. Courtney and her daughter have a most trying
+experience with Nora Flanagan, the new “hired girl,” who in their
+absence attempts to carry out the instructions given with special reference
+to “answering the phone.” The final situation in which Nora makes a date
+with Miss Courtney’s “intended” is ridiculous in the extreme. 3 females.
+Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents.</p>
+
+
+<p class="unindent"><b>The Twins and How They Entertained the New Minister.</b> They have a
+delightful time telling family secrets to the “New Minister,” who has
+called for the first time. They explain the necessity of seeing their mother
+to find out from her if she is “In,” for so often she is “Out” when she is “In” and “In” when she
+is “Out.” 2 Males and 1 Female. Time about 15 minutes. Price 10 cents.</p>
+
+<p class="center">
+<b>NO ENTERTAINMENTS SENT “ON EXAMINATION”</b><br />
+</p>
+
+<hr class="full" />
+<div class="tnote"><div class="center">
+<b>Transcriber’s Notes:</b></div>
+
+<p>Obvious punctuation errors repaired. Back cover advertisement had a Library of Congress
+sticker obscuring part of the upper right text. It was filled in using another cover’s
+text in the same series.</p>
+
+<p>Inside back cover, “particuarly” changed to “particularly” (be particularly interesting)</p>
+</div>
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's Answering the Phone, by Elizabeth F. Guptill
+
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+</body>
+</html>
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author	nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org>	2025-02-06 16:16:04 -0800
committer	nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org>	2025-02-06 16:16:04 -0800
commit	7f3052f64028f892b4b39f0aacea0a00550e0f0e (patch)
tree	e2da4373cf298272a163dd35af4ded656387486c