diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/53368-0.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/53368-0.txt | 2491 |
1 files changed, 0 insertions, 2491 deletions
diff --git a/old/53368-0.txt b/old/53368-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index cba1b44..0000000 --- a/old/53368-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,2491 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Don't Marry, by James W. Donovan - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Don't Marry - or, Advice on How, When and Who to Marry - -Author: James W. Donovan - -Release Date: October 26, 2016 [EBook #53368] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON'T MARRY *** - - - - -Produced by Demian Katz, Craig Kirkwood, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (Images -courtesy of the Digital Library@Villanova University -(http://digital.library.villanova.edu/).) - - - - - -Transcriber’s Notes: - -Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). - -The Table of Contents was created by the transcriber and placed in the -public domain. - -The cover for this book contains substantial text, and this text has -been included in digital form with a simplified format. - -The cover contains a list labeled “CONTENTS:”; however, this is a -partial list of topics covered in the book rather than a Table of -Contents. - -Additional Transcriber’s Notes are at the end. - - * * * * * - -TABLE OF CONTENTS - - Page - - DON’T MARRY. 3 - - ROMANTIC MARRIAGES. 79 - - UNROMANTIC MARRIAGES. 101 - - * * * * * - -DON’T MARRY; OR, ADVICE AS TO How, When and Who to Marry. - -CONTENTS: - - Don’t Marry for Beauty Alone. - Don’t Marry for Money. - Don’t Marry a Very Small Man. - Don’t Marry too Young. - Don’t Marry a Coquette. - Don’t Elope to Marry. - Don’t Dally About Proposing. - Don’t Marry a Drunkard. - Don’t Marry a Spendthrift. - Don’t Marry a Miser. - Don’t Marry Far Apart in Ages. - Don’t Marry too Old. - Don’t Marry Odd Sizes. - Don’t Marry a Clown. - Don’t Marry a Dude. - Don’t Marry From Pity. - Don’t Marry for an Ideal Marriage. - Don’t Break a Marriage Promise. - Don’t Marry for Spite. - Don’t Mitten a Mechanic. - Don’t Marry a Man too Poor. - Don’t Marry a Crank. - Don’t Marry Fine Feathers. - Don’t Marry Without Love. - Don’t Marry a Stingy Man. - Don’t Marry too Hastily. - Don’t be too Slow About It. - Don’t Marry a Silly Girl. - Don’t Expect too Much in Marriage. - Don’t Marry a Fop. - Don’t Marry in Fun. - Don’t Spurn a Man for His Poverty. - Don’t Marry Recklessly. - -J. S. OGILVIE, PUBLISHER, 57 ROSE STREET, NEW YORK. - - * * * * * - -TWENTY-FIVE SERMONS - ---ON-- - -The Holy Land. - ---BY-- - -REV. T. DE WITT TALMAGE, D.D. - -No Series of Sermons ever delivered by this famous preacher has created -such a widespread and intense interest as this. These Sermons describe -with vivid interest the scenes, incidents and many various experiences -met with in the Holy Land, the land in which people are now more -interested than ever before. - -Among the hundreds of thousands of people who have read the utterances -of this wonderfully successful preacher there are none but will be glad -to have this book. Read the following - -TABLE OF CONTENTS. - -1. Eve of Departure--2. I Must also See Rome--3. A Mediterranean -Voyage--4. Paul’s Mission in Athens--5. Life and Death of Dorcas--6. -The Glory of Solomon’s Reign--7. Peace, Be Still--8. The Marriage -Feast--9. Christmas Eve in the Holy Land--10. The Joyful Surprise--11. -How a King’s Life was Saved--12. The Philippian Earthquake--13. -What is in a Name?--14. The Half was not Told Me--15. I Went Up to -Jerusalem--16. On the Housetop in Jerusalem--17. The Journey to -Jericho--18. He Toucheth the Hills and They Smoke--19. Solomon in all -His Glory--20. The Journey to Bethel--21. Incidents in Palestine--22. -Among the Holy Hills--23. Our Sail on Lake Galilee--24. On to -Damascus--25. Across Mount Lebanon. - -It contains 320 pages in paper cover, and will be sent by mail, -postpaid, to any address on receipt of 25 cents. Bound in Cloth, $1.50; -Half Russia, $2.00. Agents wanted. Address all orders to - -J. S. OGILVIE, Publisher, 57 Rose Street, New York. - - * * * * * - -FOR EDITOR’S USE. - -We desire to call your attention to this book, and ask that you give it -a careful review and criticism. Please send paper containing notice to - -J. S. OGILVIE, PUBLISHER, 57 ROSE STREET, NEW YORK. - -_PRICE, 25 CENTS._ - - * * * * * - - - - -DON’T MARRY; OR, ADVICE AS TO HOW, WHEN AND WHO TO MARRY. - - - By HILDRETH. - - “... The tale that I relate - This lesson seems to carry,-- - Choose not alone a proper mate, - But proper time to marry.” - - THE SUNNYSIDE SERIES, No. 39. Issued Monthly. October, 1891. Extra. - $3.00 per year. - Entered at New York Post-Office as second-class matter. - Copyright, 1890, by J. S. Ogilvie. - - NEW YORK: J. S. OGILVIE, PUBLISHER 57 ROSE STREET. - - * * * * * - -THE SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE. - -A BOOK ESPECIALLY ADAPTED - -To All Who Are Married - -Or who Contemplate taking this Important Step. - -16 page descriptive Circular sent free to any address by - -_J. S. OGILVIE_ Rose Street, New York. - - * * * * * - - - - -DON’T MARRY. - - -BY HILDRETH. - -It is not intended to advise against marriage, nor to draw the line too -closely as to the don’t-marry class, but simply to hint at the errors -of some persons who match badly on so long a contract. - -The “yes or no” question is the vital one for all young people to -answer. Some answer too soon, others wait too long, others never reach -such a climax of happiness as to be invited by an eligible partner. The -genius of selection is the rarest of faculties. - -What most puzzles the will and makes us bear the ills we have is the -theme of selection. A mother’s or father’s view of a suitor may be at -variance with the daughter’s wish and destroy the peace of both for a -lifetime. But quite generally the real trouble arises from a spiteful -choice or a hasty one, or one in some of the forms here mentioned. -Should these hints prevent one unhappy marriage, they will well repay -the little study that their brevity requires. - -To avoid much lecturing, only two examples are given at any length, -in the form of stories. These are as near to the real characters as -the writer can safely relate them, being founded on actual romantic -and unromantic marriages. As marriage is the first question that every -family will discuss, it is well to treat it with exact candor. - -_Don’t marry for beauty merely._ Very few have a supply that would last -a full dozen years in a married life that should continue for three -decades. - -And, more than that, beauty is not the only requisite to happiness. -Very handsome people are almost always vain, often exacting, and -generally live on their form, paying little or no attention to the -rarer qualities of manhood or womanhood. - -If one seek beauty alone, he will find it in the fields and flowers -and gardens, in paintings, art works, and things of nature; while the -real pleasures of life may be found in a thousand ways outside of the -worship of beauty. - -There are a dozen considerations beyond beauty that should govern the -choice of a companion. Think for a moment whom you admire most, trust -implicitly, and love more ardently than all others. Truly, it is not -the wax-doll face in a milliner’s window; were that so, why not marry -the model and get the perfection of beauty? The day will come when -the “rain beats in at the heart windows.” The time may run along so -fast till the summer is over and the winter snow-drifts shade your -locks with silver, when one by one of your friends will visit at the -fireside, when some one will love you for your mind and heart and -nobleness. Some one suited to your silver-age condition and disposition -will be beautiful without any name for beauty; as the soldier said of -Grant’s face, after Shiloh’s bloody battle, “That was the handsomest -face I ever saw;” yet it was plain and dusty and rugged. - -Prize-winners in matrimony have been women of finer mould than mere -beauties. Women who have won the hearts of statesmen, and painters and -poets, and the good and great of all time, were women of fascination, -or what the Southern ladies call sweet women, and not alone noted for -their beauty. - -Many a one has been known to have been plain but social; not always -unhandsome, but never beautiful. They are the best wives and noblest -mothers who have more to commend them than mere grace of features, -shade of skin, or color of eyes, or art of beautifying. Some are -frivolous, and more are flattered into danger. The most miserable man I -know is married to one of the most beautiful women. He is jealous; she -is exposed to insults unawares. Their home is a Hades six days out of -seven. I’ve heard him wish she were less attractive! - -_Don’t marry a man for money._ If money is your real object, the older -and uglier he is, the better; for nothing should come between you and -the chosen idol of your affection. If you marry one for his money, he -will find it out shortly. - -What sublime contempt a man must have for one who simply loves his -pocket-book! Why not love his farm, or lumber-yard, or herd of cattle? -The love of money is a miserly pretence of affection that leads to -discontent, distrust, and disgust when they find it out. - -Besides, wealthy men are men of care. The wife of a noted millionnaire -has had her husband’s body stolen from its vault, has been long kept in -agony, is an object of pity to all who know her. Another wife was heard -to say, “Why, I don’t have the privilege, nor the money, nor the good -times that my girl Bridget enjoys. I am poor and anxious and depressed, -and weary of hearing my husband say, over and over again, ‘You are -fixing for the poor-house.’ He really thinks and believes we will end -life in the poor-house; and yet he enjoys a princely income.” Thousands -of such men carry their load of care, and load of wealth, and load of -anxiety, and how can they carry any burden of love? - -_Don’t marry a very small man_--a little fellow far below all -proportion; try to get some form to admire, something to shape things -to, and some one who is not lost in a crowd completely, who is too -little to admire and too small for beauty. You may need strong arms -and brave hands to protect you. You will need hands to provide for -and maintain you, and a good form is a fine beginning of manhood or -womanhood. - -Mental greatness is not measured by size of brain or bodily -proportions. Great men are neither always wise nor always large; they -are more often of more medium build, and well balanced in gifts of -mental and physical development. Of the two, a very large man is better -than a small one, and a medium large woman likewise. - -_Don’t marry too young._ The right age to marry is a matter of -taste; twenty-one for girls, and twenty-four for men may be a little -arbitrary, but certainly is sensible. The happy early marriages are -rare. It too often happens that love is mistaken, or poorly informed, -or lacks an anchor in good judgment. There is no use of reasoning about -it,--love is love, and will marry in spite of reason, and in some cases -it runs away with its choice and repents it a thousand times soon after. - -But be sensible, for a life contract should be a sensible one. What -is the use of throwing away one season--skipping girlhood or boyhood -to rush into maturity and maternity? The records of divorce courts -tell the silly and sorrowful stories of many a mismated pair, married -too young and slowly repenting of their rashness. Ask of your truest -friends; take counsel; be above foolishness. - -_Don’t marry a villain._ Many a girl is ripe for an adventure, and in -appearance nothing more resembles an angel than a keen and designing -villain--a thoroughbred; not a gambler merely, but worse, a wreck! Such -men may be wary, artful, deceitful, attractive. They are crafty; their -trade compels it. They may be handsome, often so; they may be oily and -slick--most of them are. They may live rich and expensive lives for a -season; ill-gotten gains are not lasting. Heaven pity the girl that -marries one of these adventurers, for the end is bitterness! A friend -met one on the Pacific road, married him, and learned to her sorrow -that he drank to excess, swore like a pirate, lived in debauchery, -and early offered to swap wives for a season with a boon-companion. -“And that man,” she said, “was as handsome as a dude, as slick as -an auctioneer, as oily as a pedler; I loved him only one day after -marriage.” - -_Don’t marry a hypocrite._ Of all things get sincerity. Get the genuine -article. If you get a hypocrite, he is brass jewelry, and will easily -tarnish. Make careful inquiry, see that he is all that he pretends to -be, or never trust him. The habit of deceit is one of a lifetime. - -Some join churches for no other reason than to cloak iniquity. It is -not the rule by any means; it is a too common exception. One who goes -from city to city and captivates too many by his oil of blandness; one -who has no business, an idler; one who apes the rich and is ground -down in poverty; one who lacks the courage to live like himself and -had rather live a lie and deceive the world around him,--is an unfit -companion, and will bear watching. - -_Don’t marry a coquette._ One that is worn out by a long list of -discarded admirers is like stale bread--worse every day and seldom -grows better by long standing. There are women, and girls sometimes, -who glory and revel in the names of discarded lovers; whose sense -of honesty has been poisoned, numbed, and frozen by cheating their -victims through pretended affection, until they have lost all heart -or honesty; who deserve to be left alone to ponder on their cruelty -for the balance of their miserable existence. Of all the worst forms -of flirting, coquetry is the most detestable. It is not only trifling -away the time of both, but casting distrust on the holiest of all -sentiments, the purity of womanhood. To steal money is honorable -compared to stealing affection. - -The habit of coquetry will, or may, last long after marriage. She -who practises it will follow up in unpleasant references to her -conquests, wishing she had married at this offer or that, and wear -out the happiness of her last conquest by a frequent reminder of his -inferiority to the others. - -_Don’t marry a woman for her money._ These people are tenacious to a -minute degree. They long to remind you of my house, my property, my -farm, my lots on Lincoln Avenue, my furniture, my bank account, and the -like--making one a pensioner all his life for his board and clothing. -If there is any difference, it should be with the man. He is expected -to control property. He is the master of his house, or the manager of -his expenses. Very naturally he says “my” store or “my” lots, but it -will sound far more fair and considerate even if he says “our” in lieu -of “my” sometimes. - -The only fair way to act about it is to treat marriage as a partnership -where nobody owns all, but each has an equal interest. It is fair to -divide a good portion of one’s property with his wife, fair to deed her -a nice homestead and present her a given allowance--liberal as one’s -income will warrant--and let her draw from it as her own, and not be a -beggar each time she needs money. - -_Don’t elope to marry._ It is a weak affection that cannot wait -awhile. Jacob served seven years, then seven more, for Rebecca. She was -a fine specimen of womanhood--as represented in paintings; housekeeping -was easy and inexpensive then, but they patiently waited and were -handsomely rewarded. - -Ruth was an excellent example of girlhood. In no great hurry to marry, -taking the hardships of travel, her devotion to her mother touched the -heart of a king, and she won a splendid prize for her patience. She -might have eloped with a stage-driver or a coachman, and ended her life -with many less historical-society notices. - -_Don’t dally about proposing._ What is it to ask a fine girl to marry -you? The simplest, easiest thing on earth, if you “strike while the -iron is hot.” Go about it sensibly. To begin with, you never expect -much encouragement from a discreet maiden; she is in the background; -her promise is to be invited; she is not her own spokeswoman. Think of -the embarrassment. - -I venture to say, if you like her, that you will say so. Often you may -have told her how fine her eyes are, or how well you like her singing, -or talking, and her company; but when you ask a simple question, you -get down on your knees (they do in novels, not in reality) and beg for -it. Nonsense! Such a girl is unworthy. Begging is a silly fashion, -seldom now indulged in, all out of date, and no longer tolerated -outside of novels and theatres. Use a little sense about it. - -Find out first if you have the right one, then settle the matter in -one of five ways: First, in the parlor (don’t propose in church, or at -a donation, or in a crowd, or on a street-car, or while the horse is -prancing), get up your resolution at the right moment and say: “Do we -understand each other, Clemantha?” Then, if she doesn’t, explain it -to her in a sensible fashion, and in little short words that cannot be -mistaken; give her time, if necessary. - -The second way is, on a fine walk or drive, “Would you like to walk -always?” or, “If you were to choose whom you would walk with forever, -who would it be?” She will say, “I don’t care to be so personal.” -Certainly then you may be more explicit. - -Third, suppose you are to separate, what a grand opportunity! See -that you improve it earnestly. To tell a girl that she is fairer than -flowers, clearer than coffee, and sweeter than honey is old, very old, -and uncalled-for. Tell her she is what she is, and you like her with -all her surroundings; that you can better her condition sometime. Dwell -on the “sometime.” - -Be honest about it. If she doesn’t love you, let her love some one -else, and you will be surprised to find how many pure and beautiful -beings there are all around you, holding their finger-tips to hide -a smile of welcome and ready--“yes, Edgar”--eager to mate with one -worthy and ready to marry them, for marriage is a natural hope of every -right-minded woman. - -This is a fourth method: read aloud of characters like Arden, Romeo, -or Abelard, or Paul and Virginia, and make your comments audibly. You -will not be long in tracing a conclusion. Be a little ingenious about -it, find out through your sister. Prepare the way and don’t ask until -you find she is unpledged, remember; or at least tarry long enough to -be reasonably certain. And what if refused? No harm done. Like the -German’s sugar, “The other pound is shust so good as the first one.” - -One man I know drew off a list of all his acquaintances worthy of -marriage, and went about it like a regular wheat-buyer. He was a -bachelor, of course, and very eccentric. Coming to the first, he -explained his object, concealing all names, but saying she was first -of a long list furnished him by a friend (each one was first, always); -then he would say, “I will give you a week to consider it, and no harm -done; if not then, I must pursue my list further.” Of all the sold-out -men, he was sold the cheapest! He married a whole family. The first two -were disgusted, the third or fourth accepted. This looks too much like -a purchase and sale, and don’t try the method. - -The last way is sensible; by writing--many a proposal is in writing. -Even in that be a little guarded; once a no, yeses come with -reluctance. It is best not to give one an opportunity to say no, but to -parry long enough to test the opposition. If it were a race-horse to -buy, a house to contract for, or a block to purchase, it would not be -very hard to strike a bargain. So that, once finding form, character, -fitness, affection, desire to be mated, go about the rest by a direct -and sensible method, and don’t wear out the gate-hinges, burn out all -the oil, weary the old folks, or turn gray with anxiety, but do it. - -_Don’t marry a drunkard._ He will promise, by all that’s good, great, -and holy, to reform. How many more like him have made just such -promises? He can’t keep such a promise if he would. Make him reform a -couple of years at least, on trial, before you marry him. It will be -time enough then to risk a life-partnership, to chain your hopes to an -unfortunate creature whose sense and judgment are corrupted, not by -will, perhaps, but by habit stronger than reason. With most men this -habit becomes a desire. They are bound to feed the fire that burns -them. They have no voice in the matter, and cannot, if they would, -break the strong fetters that bind them in irons, like the prison bars -confine their victims. - -It’s a sorry picture to behold a fair young girl chained to a being -with a will all lost and debauched in appetite for drink; a section -of the land of departed evil spirits can only equal her daily misery. -Children must bear it, friends submit to it, and all of character, -sweetness of temper, or refinement in one’s nature will revolt at the -coarseness of the wrecked and wretched career of a drunkard’s life. He -is an object of pity, and a being to be shunned in matrimony, no matter -how many promises he makes or how good he is otherwise. - -To avoid long sorrow, disgrace, and regret, avoid him. If you had two -lives and one to dispose of, at any cost, mate with a drunkard and die -a thousand deaths. Your health, peace, and happiness will go with his. - - “Art thou mated with a clown, - Then the baseness of his nature - Will have weight to drag thee down.” - -Such a man will kill his wife, burn his own child, sacrifice everything -on earth when scourged by this degrading passion. More could be urged, -but let the starving families, the criminal courts, the idiotic -children, tell the rest: the story is too dreadful to dwell upon. It is -monstrous. Life becomes a burden, and death a sweet release from such a -cross. Of all the matches on earth, the most to be dreaded and avoided -is the drunkard’s wife. - -_Don’t marry a fast man or woman._ Something tells us that black logs -will darken the whitest garments. The edge of virtue once dulled -is never quite so keen afterwards. It may be very well to speak -slightingly of wild oats, but who cares to know that their oats are a -second crop? Who is willing to believe that they are the last resort of -one who has pleaded and pledged to hundreds or even dozens before her, -or waits an opportunity to make as many more pledges as occasion may -offer? Fast men are not satisfied with one vice merely, but follow on -to many. They may drink, gamble, sport, and venture, and step by step -indulge in the kindred vices of lewdness, till disease shall fasten its -clutches in their burning blood and run in their veins for a lifetime. -They are rarely satisfied with one home, one wife, and one family. - -_Don’t marry a foreigner_,--one who comes from a far-away country and -returns to it. It is very uncertain; think ahead carefully. The new and -strange customs of his country may and may not be congenial. They may -be a dreary dream of home and early separation. Think of the ties of -friendship, the cords of affection twined and woven around your nature; -ties that are not severed without many pangs of sorrow. Life is a -short, strange journey, and, make it when we will or where we will, it -is pleasant to be made with company. Those who know us best will love -us most if we deserve it, and few will continue on in friendship long -after we go to strange and unknown countries. A stranger neighbor soon -comes nearer than a long-absent friend whom we never hear from. - -_Don’t marry a spendthrift._ The habit of living is formed early. -Either one is bent on rising or going lower. As water seeks its level, -so men seek their ambition and find it. Prosperity comes not on silver -trays, ready-made and ready for use to everybody; most men work for -it, strive for it, and deserve it. The sons of the rich, who inherit -property and have formed the habit of useless spending, are a little -bit lower than the poor. It is not disgraceful at all to be born poor; -but to become so after once being rich, and that through reckless -spending, is a dishonor to any one. “One thing we can be proud of,” -said Ingersoll; “we’ve made some improvement on the original implements -and the common stock.” - -A young man who lives on his father’s earnings has very little to -boast of, but one who squanders his inheritance in riotous living -is an object of contempt and ridicule. “He is one of the old man’s -pensioners,” said a business man lately of a rich man’s son. “But for -his father’s thrift he would be a beggar; he lives like a refined -beggar on the food furnished by another. What a brilliant genius he is!” - -_Don’t marry your cousin._ It may be very tempting; relatives are often -warmly attached to each other from long and intimate acquaintance. -Remember that constantly thrown in each other’s society will often -create such attachments. With many persons, marriage of blood relations -will more or less lead to deafness, blindness, or deformity. It may -skip one generation and find another. It may result in disease and -weakness. It may be all right, but seven to eight it is risky and -uncertain, and you can’t afford to be uncertain in such matters. - -_Don’t marry too far above or below you._ There is no such thing as -station in this country, like the titles and surroundings of Europe; -but ignorance mated with refinement must be lost and confused, and ill -at ease every hour. - -Such matches are hasty, and poorly considered. They lead to gossip and -resentment of relatives, and an uncomfortable ill-feeling, seldom cured -for a full generation. If one has beauty and refinement and is poor, -never mind the poverty; the good qualities are more than a balance. But -the marriage of a millionaire’s daughter with a coachman is supreme -folly. It ends in disunion, and never in harmony. Water and oil will as -soon mix as such elements. Avoid them. - -_Don’t marry a doubly divorced man or woman_: it’s risky. Something -is wrong surely. One divorce should cure any one. Two is a profusion. -It may be that the doubly divorced is innocent,--he will claim to be; -but if he seeks a new party to a possible divorce case (it will be a -habit by this time), tell him to wait a little longer. Grass widows may -be very lovable creatures, but unless their other halves were clearly -blamable, beyond reasonable question, give them a wide road and avoid -them entirely. It is a very bad sign, possibly a habit, that a man and -woman mate and divide soon after; the fault may belong to either, and -most likely relates to both, in similar proportions. - -_Don’t marry a miser._ Of all the old “curmudgeons” on earth, deliver -me from crabbed, narrow-minded, pinch-penny, miserable misers. - -They begrudge you your meals and clothing. They count your shillings -and control your pin purchases; they make life a burden, by owning much -and using little, and eternally twit you of every quarter used ever so -sparingly. - -Life is made to live in and enjoy. We make only one journey. We need -not open up our purses and leak out the pennies, just to see them roll -around promiscuously; but cutting notches on a stick for each one of -them, and never spending, even for necessaries, without dread and -grudging, is intolerable. I had rather be poor and enjoy something. - -_Don’t marry too far apart in ages._ June and December is a long, long -distance in matrimony. Some people are as young-hearted at sixty -as others are at forty. Some men at forty-five have hardly reached -their manhood. But old, white-headed men, marrying girls in their -teens--servants generally--are pitiable spectacles. To the girl it is -suicide; to the man sheer folly; no need of marrying the man. The girl -is the most interested in this don’t sentence. Why not, if you love -him? This is the reason, not jealousy,--that is a partial reason,--but -consistency. Think of a trip round the world or across the continent -with one older than your father, to be called your husband, to be your -husband! It must be humiliating. It is annoying. It is foolishly silly -and inconsistent. Money is a small compensation for such a sacrifice. -Love, and love only, should govern marriage, and I doubt its sincerity -when the difference goes beyond reason. - -Marry one whom you trust, admire, respect, look up to, and confide in, -can be true to, and one whom you love from good and earnest motives. -“Respect is a cold lunch in a dark dining-room. Love is a picnic in the -woods.” Think of a picnic and an old man escort! - -_Don’t marry too old._ Be in earnest about it. Here is the thought in a -nut-shell: - - TOO OLD TO LOVE. - - I. - - “I never loved but one,” she said; - “I loved him just for fun,” she said; - And, saying this, she swung her head-- - Had she been frank, they had been wed. - I saw her at a ball that night, - Her eyes so dark and face so white, - Her tone and manner wild delight; - I knew she served him not aright. - - II. - - “I am too old to love,” she said; - “The one I loved in fun is dead! - I plant these flowers above his head, - Here lies my idol, dead!” she said. - “’Tis sad to think it might have been; - ’Tis sadder yet to feel my sin. - Love learns too late; but then, but then, - He loved me once--the best of men. - - III. - - “I never see a pure, good face, - Nor painting outlines ever trace, - But he is near, his love is dear, - Had I been earnest; he were here!” - She veiled her dark eyes with her hand; - I turned away,--“True love is grand,” - I murmured, in an undertone; - “Life gives no more than love of one.” - -_Don’t marry odd sizes._ A tall man with a little woman looks awkward -enough; but a tall woman with a little, tiny man is a misfit, surely. - -See if you can’t find someone of your size, as the school-lads say in -a wrestle. Pair off like soldiers in time of dress parade, with an eye -to unity. - -This caution relates to extremes, of course, and not to small -variances. Some change and grow portly after marriage, but none get -very much taller after twenty-four. - -Just for the looks of the thing, pair off in uniform lines. - -_Don’t marry a man or woman without a character._ Soon enough you’ll -see the value of this caution. Character is a matter that grows through -a lifetime, but enough of it crops out early to be noticed. One is -known not only by his company but by his habits, his tastes, and his -inclinations. It is said that some whole families are born fast; some -thievish, some inclined to crabbedness, others mild, upright, honest, -and reliable. It runs in the blood in some cases. - -Suppose one is to marry for virtue, purity, and uprightness, he will -seek it in the blood as much as he would look for quality in a racer. - -If a woman loves a rakish “man of the world,” so called,--a name too -often used to varnish a bad character,--she will very easily find him -around the different bar-rooms of almost any crowded hotel in the city -or village. He will be after marriage what he was before. - -Tell me where a man goes, and I will tell you what he is. If he is -fast, he will cultivate fast habits, live a rapid life, and earn that -character very early. If these are the traits you are looking for, -“inquire within” and you will find them. It may be a woman you are -asking about, a girl for a wife, a life-long companion. Which are you -seeking for? A dashy, fly-away dancer, or a domestic home-lover, and -one whom you can trust with your keys, your secrets, your conscience? -Look to her character. In either case, the man or woman has lived -somewhere. Find out about it,--how long, how well, how faithfully. - -A well-to-do widow, was crazy to marry a man that she fancied, and -who actually refused to give more than his name and hotel, and no -references. On careful inquiry such a person was known by no less -than two to four names,--changed to suit circumstances. The spell was -broken, the match ended. - -Men and women often rush into matrimony as game is run into a trap, for -the little tempting bait set to catch them (a catch-as-catch-can race). -They marry and risk a life-long happiness on less actual information -of each other’s real nature than a good horseman would exact of his -carriage horse’s pedigree. This may do in the country, but never will -answer in a city. Sense and reason dictate that men and women, to enjoy -each other’s society, should see well to the match beforehand. A fine -hand, a small foot, a becoming hat, a twist of the head, a simper, -or a half-witty saying will do well in their places; but colors must -_wash_ and _wear_ to stand a lifetime. - -_Don’t marry a clown._ A silly fellow that jokes on every subject never -did amount to anything, and never will. All he says may be very funny, -very; but how many times can he be funny? - -Fun will grow stale and threadbare; one cannot live by it. Life is a -trip that costs car fare, wash bills, board bills, trinkets, notions, -and actual outlays. Real providers are never clowns; the clownish -fellow is a favorite in school-days. He is so cute, just as cute as a -cotton hat, so cunning, so witty, so nice. Is he? Wait a few years, -until his nice nonsense turns to active business! - -_Don’t marry a dude._ Of all milk-and-water specimens, a dude is -the lowest,--a little removed from nothing; a dressed-up model for -a tailor-shop (sometimes it’s in woman form); a street flirt, a -hotel-step gazer, an eye-glass ogler, a street strut; one who finds his -enjoyment in the looking-glass--a masher. - -Very many are called, but few are chosen. The many that are called are -ridiculed. The time will come when a tailor’s suit and a fancy outfit -will no more make one respectable than it would make a gentleman of a -wooden Indian in front of a cigar-stand. - -Men, real men of business, and men fit to marry, are not dudes, but -manly, upright beings, with sense, integrity, and genius or industry; -who come upon the stage of life as real actors in its affairs, not as -“supes” and sham soldiers in “Pinafore” battle-scenes, where a few -parade in fancy feathers as commodores for the amusement of spectators. - -Life is too earnest to spend on silly, tawdry, fancy colors or showy -clothing; and the one who has the less of it is the most likely to be -marked for a gentleman, and the brand will be correctly designated. -With women, no less than men, is this silly street-walking habit quite -prevalent. A flirting woman on a public street is a sorry picture; -even one who stoops to notice her must secretly know her measure. She -deceives no one, for her character, like the dude’s, is so transparent -that no one mistakes its meaning. The habit of going nowhere for -nothing is as foolish as it is injurious. - -Character grows out of little things. It may be that being seen with a -disreputable person three times, or even once, will change the whole -current of our career. Don’t practise the vices of dudes nor the habits -of street flirts. - -_Do not marry a boy or girl who is not good at home._ That is the -golden test of duty,--to do one’s duty alone, away from the eyes of -men and the notice of the world; to be good from a right disposition. - -There is no safer rule to marry by than this: “She loves her mother, -and isn’t afraid to work. She has a good name at home among her near -neighbors. She is neat, sweet, and tidy. Seven days each week she is -never off guard, always a lady.” - -And of a man may it be said, “He is a man, take him all in all; he -is manly, he is truthful; he loves his home; he treats his sisters -and mother kindly. He is capable of good deeds, and incapable of mean -ones. He has a good name.” He deserves success, and it will follow -him. He is plain, perhaps, but man outgrows it. He is not a painting, -an imitation, a counterfeit, but simply a man. He will do to marry; so -will she, the last-named. - -_Don’t marry from pity._ It may be akin to love, but the kinship -is quite distant. Many a weak woman has so married, and only once -regretted it--each and every day afterwards. A life-long regret must -follow. What a cold respect is that compliment to any woman, “I took -pity on her!” Away with such base uses of pity! Many a woman has had -pity on a rakish man or a drunkard and married him to reform his -nature. Better, far better, trust a child with a runaway horse or a -mad dog. Danger seen and not avoided is criminal carelessness. Surely -you can save one life, and its happiness, in such cases. One is quite -enough to be sacrificed. Let bravery be shown by demanding a full -surrender and reasonable atonement. - -_Don’t marry for an ideal marriage only._ The girlish dream of marriage -is so wide of the reality as to be dangerous. She is to grow up and -go away, off to Italy, or some far-away clime of sunshine; there to -be taught music and the classics. On some clear moonlight evening, -in a summer-time, where birds sing all day long, near a brook or -flower-garden, she is to be surprised by a creature of form and make -and mental endowment that shall thrill her whole being into rapturous -joy. They will go to the parlor, and there, by a grand-piano, she will -unseal the pent-up currents of her heart, till tears flow from all eyes -around her; there she will seem to hear the childhood melodies, the -song of departed friends, the harmony of all the senses, mingling in -one sweet welcome to her new-found happiness. - -Her prisoned soul is no longer grovelling in common themes; all the -latent power of her being is to burst forth in gladness; and music of -the heart is to bear her up until the cottage walls are narrow, till -flowers and falling water, brilliant company, ease and riches, smile -upon her glad career. - -She is to be lifted up, and raised to heights before unknown to -mortals. He of whom she dreams of now is fit for Paradise. Finer and -finer every day will his genius grow, and nearer to her liking every -hour. There is just such joy and just such glory in a new-born love, -that seems to reach a grander height each moment, as on eagle’s wings. - -And this is but the generous dream that Nature gives, as a preface to -a real life after,--so very, very different. The girl that twines her -tender arms around her mother’s neck, and thrills with joyous pride in -telling of the brilliant prize that’s offered her, thinks not of rainy -days ahead. Perhaps it is just as well; who would begrudge her such -half-hours of happiness? But, seeing sometime she must break the spell -and know all, it may be safe to drop a hint in season, and say, This -way lies safety, that way danger! - -_Don’t marry a man of even doubtful character._ No matter how handsome -or brilliant, a bad man has in him elements that are always repulsive; -they are poison to his blood and his surroundings, and the only safe -guide is his character. - -No matter how many promises of reformation; you need not turn reformer -for his sake. If you will take the risk, do it after he proves himself -reformed, and be in no great haste about it. - -No amount of spicing and seasoning can make tainted meat palatable, and -no amount of promising will reclaim a character tainted with vicious -habits once seated. - -Young ladies who enter upon the reforming mission furnish more women -and children for prisons, later in life, by their own misfortunes than -any one class. Cases of reclaimed men after marriage are so rare as to -be exceptional. It’s always a dangerous experiment. - -_Don’t marry too cautiously as to perfection._ It has before been fully -stated that men and women are human, and imperfect. That is, if you are -hunting angels it’s a fool’s errand; there are none unpledged. If you -look for tall, handsome, rich, manly, cultivated, talented, brilliant -men, or pure, refined, fascinating, beautiful women, and one for each -man the world over, the supply never equals the demand of either sex. - -But to presume that the persons marked under head of “don’t marry” -cover all the rest is unreasonable. There are thousands of noble women -and men, possessed of sterling sense, strong bodies, affectionate -natures, ability to conduct a home, become a genial companion, raise a -family, shine in society, and bear their full share of life’s earnest -work. Occasionally a man or woman will tower above their fellows, but, -generally, the real difference is less than is often supposed. The -great majority are good, and live and go to their reward unheard of -outside of their neighborhood. - -One has put it rather strongly in this, to many: “The lives of men -and women, the best of them, are marred and ruined by uncongenial -marriages. They mostly suffer in silence, ashamed to complain of -the chain they cannot break. Men and woman cannot know what their -sweethearts will be after marriage. I have known a sensitive man, -a genius with a soul like a star, whose life was a pilgrimage over -burning coals, because his wife was a coarse termagant. Many a gifted -woman, fit to be a queen or an empress, is chained to a clod of a -husband, whose forced companionship is to her the tortures of Inferno.” - -_Don’t marry expecting all the virtues in one person._ If you do, the -disappointment will be startling. There are no perfect characters. -History gives none since the Saviour. Even Joseph was willing to -punish his enemies. - -The majority of men and women are good and pure and fair-looking. -The numbers who go to the bad are few compared to the good. Take the -country population, and ninety per cent will be good; and sixty per -cent of all cities are people of fair characters. - -It is a mistake to think that most people are bad because the bad -ones get so often chronicled in public journals. The good, like the -virtuous, live and die and demand no praise of their virtue. The great -mass of men are sensible, and honest and upright and sober, and worthy -to marry. - -_Don’t break a marriage abruptly._ This is the wrong way to break a bad -match. It intensifies affection. It leads to elopement, or that slow -canker in a girl’s nature ending in melancholy, or insanity. - -Love is a plant so tender that to uproot or transplant it may touch a -vital part. There are ways enough to change its current; but of all -food to increase its growth, give it a little opposition. Tell a child -to leave something alone, and he sulks to touch it. Tell a girl that -the man she admires is distasteful to her relatives, and she half -despises them from a simple motive of resentment. Lead her by reason to -see with her own eyes, and she will be convinced. - -The great London actor, Garrick, played the drunkard to disenchant a -girl, and succeeded. Her parents might have tried it a lifetime and -failed. Human nature is queer. It will lead when the way is enticing. -It will magnify discoveries, but they must be discovered in the right -manner. Remove not the prop till the safety of the structure is secure -without it. - -_Don’t oppose one’s marriage choice suddenly._ Should a girl fall in -love with one of bad character, it is best not to call him so at one -breath; but say, “What are his habits? Is he good enough and worthy of -so pure and comely a person as you are?” Let this task be performed by -some girl of same age and class as the one you seek to change. Let them -be often together, and find ways of expressing the objections by this -method--coming from a classmate, a friend, a chum or companion--and -your object may be easily accomplished. A proposed absence without -showing why, a long journey with genial company, may have the desired -effect. At least use one caution; see that the girl knows the real -habits and character of the man you are opposed to her marrying. It -will do more than all the urging, scolding, coaxing, or threatening. - -_Don’t marry for spite._ Why should you? If the one whom you loved most -has deceived you and taken another, it will be folly to try to punish -him by hanging yourself, or committing a double suicide in a loveless -marriage. - -You will learn this lesson all too dearly when it’s over. Life is too -short for those who love it and are well mated; but many a miserable -marriage has made one or the other wish for death a million times, to -be rid of its burden. - -You are the one most interested. You will find out, after the knot is -tied, that there are many conditions in life better and easier to be -endured than a silly marriage to spite some one. You will spite them -better by showing what a noble choice they had missed when they took -another in your place. - -_Don’t propose on a wash-day, in the rain, at breakfast, or in a -tunnel._ There is no room for fainting in the former, and a narrow -chance for time in the latter. - -Many ladies have singular notions on how proposals should be accepted, -and to such any rudeness is extremely shocking. A very modest fellow, -in deep anxiety, took up his fair lady’s cat, and said, “Pussy, may I -marry your mistress?” when the young lady replied, “Say yes, pussy, -when he gets brave enough to ask for her.” More than likely this -brought the young fellow to his senses. It certainly brought matters to -a crisis. - -Most young people talk to each other as though a tall stone wall stood -between them and they must find a door in it. Strange enough, the -difference in views vanishes at the merest mention of each other’s -sentiments. - -_Don’t mitten a mechanic_, simply on account of his business. If he is -worthy, never mind his business. He can grow out of it, and will grow -out of it. Collier was a blacksmith, Wilson a shoemaker, Andrew Johnson -a tailor, Peter Cooper a glue-maker, Grant a tanner, and Lincoln the -humblest of farmers. In this country it is not a question what a man -was, but what he is; not even what he is, but what he may be, and what -he is capable of yet attaining. - -Many a girl has turned away a mechanic and married a rich loafer, only -to find in good season that the mechanic was at heart a gentleman, with -growing possibilities, and the loafer remained such for all time. - -Advice is seldom heeded in such matters, but it may do to mention it. -The true test of manhood is seen in the mettle of boyhood. If you wish -to forecast the future, study the past history of your subject. If one -is selfish, tyrannical, and overbearing by being rich, he will be a bad -man to marry. If, on the other hand, he is pleasant, kind, genial, and -forbearing, loves his kind, is attentive to his mother and sisters, and -has made friends and character in early life, he is not very likely -to change his notions later. There is often more manhood in a poor -one-armed man than a rich athlete. - -_Don’t marry a man too poor._ It is the height of folly to mate, -and attempt to raise seven children on what will bring up three -indifferently. Have a little discretion. Think that eating, dressing, -etc., cost something, and no one can live happily without some of these -common comforts. If they cannot buy them single, it is folly to double -one’s misery by marrying in the jaws of starvation. It is suicide: it -is worse,--it is double suicide, and may lead to pauperism and crime -and disgrace. - -_Don’t marry where the woman is older than the man._ Men are restless -creatures and exacting. They expect grace, beauty, and refinement; they -prefer youth to age, generally. At least it is the fashion to marry a -wife some years younger than the husband. Women mature earlier; they -have less expectancy of long life, and on an average live seven to ten -years less, and show age at fifty more than a man does at sixty-five. -Of the two, a woman should look smaller and younger and better than a -man. This accords with the belief of all refined people. - -_Don’t marry a crank._ This class of men will be wordy and persuasive. -They tell all sorts of stories of life,--how the world is mismade; how -they could improve upon this thing or that; how marriages should be -made between blondes and brunettes; how, with their philosophy, society -would reach perfection. - -Such men are invariably tyrannical. They are exacting to the last -degree; they have neither faith, hope, nor charity, but run in one -groove. They distrust the powers that be, and generally mount some -hobby, and forever prattle about the rights of free love or the wrongs -of government. Avoid them as you would a tramp. - -_Don’t marry fine feathers._ Chesterfield was _well up_ on manners, -and gave his son this rule, among his twenty-one maxims to marry by: -“Let not the rustling of silk entrap you into matrimony.” Fine clothing -has a certain fascination to many. Some choose a wife by the becoming -effect of a tasty garment. Some select a fine dancer; others rely upon -a small hand or a petite form. These points may be all well noted, -but they are but parts of a greater whole that should govern a wise -selection. - -_Don’t marry a “masher”--man or woman._ A regular professional flirt -will never settle down to love one woman or one man. Habits once formed -will cling to them in after-life. They are like runaway teams--liable -to take fright and go when least expected. - -Civil attention, by a lady or gentleman, to the other sex is natural -and courteous, but the thought that every fair lady is common prey -is repulsive. The traveller who avoids all vacant car-seats but the -nearest to a handsome young woman, and forces his conversation against -her will, has an eye to his business of one more conquest; but the too -often insulted woman who complains of over-attention from gentlemen is -generally one who walks much unattended and shows some willingness to -be not wholly unnoticed. - -_Don’t marry without love._ It will be plain enough after a while. -You will not mind it at first, perhaps, but the time will come when, -by a song, or a face, or a voice, or a form, you will awake as from a -dream, to find you have chosen carelessly. It will be too late then. -A loveless marriage may stand throughout a honeymoon. It may last in -youth, but not when storms and trials come in after-years. It -lacks that something which words do not well express,--continuity, -heart-bound devotion, and endurance. - -No matter how plain each or either may be, if they love each other -they will overlook little things, and live patiently and happily to -the end. But once, at least, must come this joy and glory of wedlock, -that seems to be the wise design of Nature,--a love for one another. -It endures through age and trouble, and is a more lasting tie than all -others together. - -_Don’t marry an idle spendthrift_; one whose money comes without -effort at first, and goes as rapidly, will one day come to want as -certainly as waters reach their level. Nature has fashioned us all for -work,--work of mind or work of body, mental or physical labor,--and -with it comes strength of muscle and of will. Listless life of -idleness, without motive, without aim, is open to every form of -temptation. - -It is not a crime to be rich, or to be poor. It is a crime to be -listless in a busy world. He would be disgraced who, standing on a -wharf, saw a drowning crew without offering relief. He would be a -coward who would not defend a woman in distress; yet all around us are -the needy, helpless, drowning, starving, whom it is our duty to rescue -and lift up in life; and marriage is the place where society is born, -and grows and ripens into use. - -_Don’t marry a stingy man_; of all narrow, mean men, he is worst who -has money, and has no will to do good with it. A “dog-in-the-manger” -man, who can improve his town, his church, his neighborhood, and does -not, is a drone in life’s hive and deserves no success. - -One who is poor and has no means is excusable; one who locks and buries -treasures deserves the Bible sentence of him who hid his talent in the -earth--to be taken from him and placed with the active one’s talent. - -A narrow, selfish, stingy man will count your pennies spent, and -postage used, and clothing worn, as wasted. One must live in constant -dread of such a creature--we need not name him man; it would disgrace -the term. A miser’s wife lives a loveless life. - -_Don’t marry too hastily._ Some rush into matrimony like a steam-engine -going to put out a fire, as though one moment lost would be eternal -defeat, and the first there gain the highest prize. Many a one has -repented more leisurely and in sorrow for such conduct. But of all -things, marry at a good opportunity. - -_Don’t be too slow about it._ Girls who give up the society of all but -one, and turn their homes into special receptions for one person, will -be worried to death in a year or two, if things move too moderately. - -Brace up and proceed to business, or release your claim and let -some one else have an opportunity. Long engagements lead to lovers’ -quarrels; they, in turn, fail to make up sometimes, and then follow -scandal and gossip over broken ties; and later two go down to their -early sleep disheartened, ruined by a trifling neglect and a reasonable -inventory of prospects. You will see it all plainly when it is over. It -will be a “might have been” then, sure enough, but too late. - -_Don’t marry a silly girl._ It’s something of an art to select a -sensible person, but many are captivated by frivolous sayings and -coquettish acts of simpering school-girls and marry them. They make -better playmates than wives. They are generally shallow, nonsensical, -and superficial. They seldom learn anything; a tittering girl is -wearisome in real life. They are ever unstable as water and changeable -as wind; get some one that you can rely upon in confidence. - -_Avoid slovenly dressed girls or heedless men._ Life seems very short -sometimes, but if ill-mated it may be a long and tiresome life. A woman -with shoes run down, a man with slouched and battered hat, reckless of -neatness, will grow worse, and seldom better. - -Trifling as it may appear, the tidy dress, the tasty every-day apparel, -the ladylike appearance, and general style of man or woman, go a long -way to form character. Beecher was right in saying that “clothes do not -make the man, but they make him look better after he is made.” The same -rule is true of women. - -_Don’t expect too much in marriage._ The story pen-pictures and -fashion-plate models of men that we see and read about are always -exaggerated. Not one man in a million would equal their description. -Men are plain flesh-and-blood creatures; women are not angels. They -build their hopes too high who expect otherwise. Take the handsomest -person you know and ten years’ wear will dull the edges; and of all -faded features, the once very handsome show change the soonest. There -are many little odd-faced fellows who grow up to be fine manly men. -The growth from boyhood or girlhood to youth, and youth to manhood or -womanhood, and so on to old age, is marvellous. It takes a keen sense -of foresight to measure the future of many boys and girls by their -beginning. There is no rule safer than choosing a good form, a good -brain, a good temper, and a good character, and waiting for the other -developments. - -Endure what cannot be cured, and don’t wish your wife or husband were -as handsome as some neighbor or as rich as some nabob. Youth and good -qualities are riches. It may be he is richer by far than the very one -envied. The richest are not always those who own the most--many of -these are poor indeed, and often miserable. - -_Don’t marry a fop._ Vanity in a woman is bad enough, in men it is -intolerable! A man-milliner, a namby-pamby female male, a walking -model for ready-made furnishing-stores, may think himself exceedingly -stunning, but to a real lady or gentleman he is a nonentity. Such -husbands never could be satisfied with the admiration you would give -them; they would weary your mirrors and try your patience. What are -they good for, anyway? There is room for women and room for men, but a -half-woman or a half-man is never great. They are not very likely to -marry at all, and less likely to make home happy. - -_Don’t expect everything of one person._ Some expect to marry love, -beauty, talent, riches, and affection all in one. It is unreasonable; -you will never find it, and may as well give up looking in good season. - -“Waukeen” Miller was requested to rewrite an article sent to a New York -magazine and returned this pithy reply: “I can’t re-copy it. I can’t -do everything. What do you expect of a man, anyway--to be a genius, -an inventor, and a writing-teacher? No, I can’t bother my brains with -copying worth four to six hundred a year at the highest.” This covers -the whole subject in a sentence. But it is well to add that Nature is -sparing of her gifts. To one she allots beauty, to another strength, -to another wisdom, to a third courage, to a fourth ability to acquire -riches, to another that to write and speak, to teach, to manage, to -paint, or to control armies: all are not alike, and to no one belong -all virtues. - -_Don’t expect too much of a wife._ If she is beautiful, that will be -her pride and ideal. If plain, she may make it up a thousand times in -goodness, gentleness, industry, virtue (the plainest are the least -tempted). Earnest in her duty, she may be of all women the most suited -to your station. If talented, she will devote herself to it. You -cannot own beauty, talent, domestic drudgery all in one. - -“Looking for angels, are you?” said an advanced maiden in the country. -“Well, you’ll not find ’em fit for kitchen work; and, while I think of -it, how would you look by the side of an angel, you brute you?” and he -subsided. - -No, they are not much suited to kitchen work, the so-called angels; -but many a mother who has brought up a large family as her own kitchen -maid, without servants, who has braved the hardships of poverty and -privation, has led a life but little lower than the angels, after all. - -_Don’t marry and cross your husband._ While on this division, don’t -cross your wife just at dinner-time. After the cares of business he is -tired, fretful, and she is of similar humor. To make a dispute is much -easier than to make a coal fire. Wait! - -Don’t flash up and speak back, and irritate by quick answer. Wait! - -If man or woman could only wait in seasons of anger, all would blow -over and harmony return like spring flowers, that are not always in -blossom. - -Don’t both speak at once, nor both get angry at once, nor both be too -determined at once. No one is ever convinced by angry tones. It is -horribly repulsive to talk so; besides, you will both be sorry for -it very many times. Wait, and let your judgment mature after dinner; -quarrel, if you must, in whispers; that is the new fashion. Try the -newer form. - -About ten thousand new divorces could be prevented each year by -observing these rules of common sense and reason. When will married -people and unmarried people, and lovers and neighbors, learn how -pleasant peace is, and how awkward it is to quarrel together? - -One man pounds his finger with a tack-hammer and blames his wife for -it a month later; one man’s goose gets in a neighbor’s garden and is -killed--perhaps served him right--and yet they are sworn enemies for -five years later; and not until some child is rescued from a burning -building or a mad dog, by the enemy neighbor do the two know how -pleasant and useful it is to dwell in harmony. - -Families who have been estranged for years are some day--ah, some -day!--called to look into the sightless eyes that once flashed in -anger, or lay away in its earthy home the form they shunned for some -trifling answer in a passion. If we knew how soon, how cautious we -would be! Life is so short to quarrel and make up in; they who quarrel -may never make up. - -_Don’t marry in fun._ Be in earnest about a matter of so much moment. -It may seem funny to a lot of girls out on a sleigh-ride to call in -some one and wind up an escapade by a double wedding; but few of such -marriages ever end well. - -Sudden and ill-considered matches are mismatches. You may have a -mother, a sister, or a family to consult; then the old-fashioned way is -the best. It’s a left-handed marriage at best that will not allow the -forms used for ages to strengthen its solemnity. - -Let the world know by open dealing that you have married above any -secrecy, elopement, or underhanded fashion. Be brave enough to follow -the form of society in a manner that concerns every neighbor and every -relative. - -Marry at home or at church, in good form, without display; marry -according to the best usage of the best people, and you will reap some -benefit from the sensible conclusion. - -_Don’t marry without an eye to comfort._ A man that expects to live -thirty years or more with a partner will investigate his likes and -dislikes; so should a woman. Are you ready to attend a cattle ranch and -brave the frontier? Then look the matter clearly in the face at the -first hint of the man’s proposal who expects it. - -Do you prefer the city to the country? Look to the earliest -opportunity. Can you endure a soldier’s absence, or wait for an -explorer? or will you prefer a domestic relation that brings you both -under one roof daily? These questions should be answered soon enough -to prevent regret, remorse, or separation. The greatest of all dangers -in marriage is the color-blindness of lovers: they never use but one -color--rose color--till a few weeks after the wedding. - -_Don’t spurn a man for his poverty._ “Prosperity is the parent of -friends; misfortune is the fire by which they are tried.” One may be -poor by an honest failure, another may be rich on ill-gotten gains. -The first the lord of honor, the last a prosperous knave. - -“I would give it all willingly and work by the day if we could be -placed back where we were, and be free from the worry and dread and -anxiety,” said a rich man’s wife to a waiting friend by her sick -bedside. - -Who does not know of poor, plain boys who endured the poverty of youth, -struggled with their studies, carved out a fortune as from flinty -marble, and enjoyed it in maturer years, all the more for the effort -it cost them, all the more likely to last and continue to bless other -generations? - -Franklin commenced poor with a penny loaf; Greeley was homely and -awkward. Few would have looked for Lincoln’s rise. Giddings and Collier -and Garfield all started low on the ladder, and ended high in honor and -worthy of any woman’s affection. - -If we could only get near enough to Genius to comprehend its superior -worth; if we could reverence talent and admire integrity and take true -measure of prospective greatness, what a fortune we would possess! - -Like high-priced lots in large cities, the discoverers of rare -locations seldom knew the value of their purchases. It takes time for -development; more time in genius and character than we are always ready -to wait for; but the far-seeing are always rewarded, so with the prizes -of matrimony. - -_Don’t marry and expect a husband to be wealthy while young._ Only the -older men should be looked to for high financial standing. In a hopeful -country like ours, few are rich under fifty, seldom under sixty. - -Young men who earn their education, and begin and learn a business are -barely partners at thirty or thirty-five. It takes time to prosper. -Several mistakes may be made. Scarcely a wholesale house in New York -or Boston has run on twenty years without a failure. Failure is the -rule, success the exception. Patience, pluck, and perseverance win the -victory, but they who spend freely in the forenoon have little left in -the evening. Those who save early double in like ratio later on. - -_Don’t marry in opposite religious views._ If possible, marry near -your own belief. This may seem strained, but the story of divorces -will confirm its wisdom. Children and parents very often disagree on -religious subjects. The farmer’s “Betsey and I are out” controversy, -“was a difference in our creed. And the more we argued the matter, the -less we ever agreed.” - -It is pleasant to agree on a subject so vital in families, more -especially so in Protestant and Catholic families, where education is -sometimes controlled by church government, and marriages are held -illegal in one church if not solemnized by its forms and between -regular believers in its faith and doctrines. - -_Don’t marry a duke_, or any man who travels on his title. The most of -such men are very common, and the most of young people who seek their -company are sold, deceived, and seriously disappointed. - -They expect a fortune to begin with, and will be the most exacting -of all mortals. This is a mere matter of birth and surroundings. -Novels tell many beautiful stories (pretty visions) about brave and -noble dukes and their princely palaces, attentive servants, and -flower-arbors. Experience tells far different stories. - -The history of nine out of ten of such unnatural unions is a record -of a half million or so squandered on a petted daughter to satisfy a -mother’s ambition, and ending in misery entailed by the dearly bought -purchase. Don’t marry so much out of rank as to be a burden, or carry a -burden. - -_Do marry a man that you can look up to_, and see that he can -do likewise. There are plenty of farmers, mechanics, merchants, -conductors, doctors, lawyers, and men of general business, who are -worthy, trusty, generous, noble, and will make excellent husbands. - -Seek them out from their character, their conduct at home, their -treatment of sisters and mothers, their devotion to business and -adherence to principle. Show them that you trust them. Be ready to -marry. Become accomplished and useful. Make yourself worthy of a home, -and know how to manage it with skill and kindness. Loving natures are -not long neglected. The worn-out belles and women who fade and wither, -and die snappish and single, were insincere, or lacked some quality of -winning manners. - -_Do marry a President._ That is the correct form now. It’s so romantic. -Waive all the hints of other objections,--age, love, spite, money, and -the like. Get a President,--just for the position, you know! - -Then all the little jewels and diamonds and presents will come rolling -in like flowers to a favorite singer. All little objections vanish in -the presence of a President. He must be suited to any condition of -beauty, genius, or intellect. Don’t refuse a President’s offer; you may -never get but one such in a lifetime. - -_Do marry a plain man._ Just a plain, common-sense man; be he banker, -lawyer, doctor, farmer, builder, merchant, so he is a man; for manhood -is at a premium to-day in home life! The world is full to overflowing -with brilliant men. Public offices are public trusts, and all that such -responsibility implies, and there are women in stations where the word -home has very little meaning, and other women who long for the quiet -and comfort of true domestic life away from the cares of office and the -demands of lofty stations. - -Two of the things that lead to greatest misery of the masses to-day are -over-ambition and reckless marriages. - -_Don’t coax a woman to love you._ If you wish to win, that is certainly -the wrong way. If they have any notion of it, you are in the opposite -direction of success. - -Women despise a fawning, cringing nature. “Fortune and women, born to -be controlled, stoop to the forward and the bold.” - -A far more sensible way to win will be by indifference. Show enough -willingness to reassure her, and enough courage to act manly. - -Ten to one you have mistaken her temper by lack of frankness. Nothing -is more touching than truth. If you are really bent on marrying and -have told the right person the whole story, earnestly and truthfully, -the answer should be decisive. - -Keen dealers seldom banter; they may hesitate, they may explain their -wants and wishes, they never parley very long or express much anxiety -to strike a bargain. - -_Winning a wife or a lover is a rare art._ To be worthy of either -is the first essential. It is better to be worthy of it than to be -President and unworthy. - -It must be consoling even to a jilted lover to feel that he is superior -to the one successful. The next thing to being worthy is being ready. -Many a youth begins driving, sleighing, and dressing for society who -pays his clothing bills by instalments, and whose salary is wholly -unequal to his outlay. - -Fairness demands that a girl in marrying should better her condition. -How can one expect her to marry into misery? - -Chesterfield quotes an old Spanish saying of great force and aptness: -“It is the beginning that costs in everything. The first step over, the -rest is easy.” - -_Don’t marry recklessly._ Before two or more men form a partnership, -they learn each other’s means of furthering the business to be engaged -in; the confidence that each is worthy of, the skill, attention, etc., -each can give, and the prospects of a mutual agreement and prosperity. - -Without some inquiry on these vital requisites, no company concern -would be founded. It would be a foolish investment to purchase goods -and fit up stores or warehouses without some forecast of results; and -yet this is precisely in the line of marriage. - -Partnerships are business marriages. It is not best to be too cool and -calculating about it; one caution may let another take the venture and -draw the premium. But some common-sense may as well be mixed with a -matter so vital as a life-long engagement. - -Firms are limited to a few years; marriages are unlimited save by -death, or divorce, for over a third of a century, on an average. While -it is very difficult to tell whom to marry,--for no one can foresee -your circumstances,--still, it is well to mention a large class that no -one should marry, at least till all others are no longer accessible. - -If one could foresee the extent of happiness depending on this -selection of partners, if he would take a simple business caution -and investigate enough to be considerate, he might save society from -disgrace and himself from lasting misery. For the fact is, that the -most glaring of all our American evils is the looseness of marriage -ties, and the misery it entails on domestic relations. - -If these hints or reminders should induce one woman to avoid a bad -marriage, and one man to contract a good one, or save a long quarrel, -or keep families in harmony, or help some poor bashful fellow to gain -his Yes by a sensible proposal, the time in reading will be well spent, -the trifling cost will be a splendid investment. - - - - -ROMANTIC MARRIAGES. - - -Caroline Crofton had completed her course at Vassar, one of its -earliest graduates, and one of the most brilliant in her class of -thirty odd young New England, graceful, gifted, and generous girls, -that have long been noted for their purity of principles and perfection -of character. She was smaller than her classmates, an only daughter of -Judge Crofton, whose manner and training marked him as a classical, -refined, and upright gentleman, and a dignified and just judge. - -All that culture could impart, or character add to the graces of -nature, was bestowed upon Caroline, who never assumed the fashion of -shortening her name by fancy contractions. Carline was the shortest -way of calling her, and this was not a favorite with her mother. From -her father she inherited the qualities ascribed to her, while her -mother, like a clinging vine wound around the oak, was of a trusting, -lovable, nature, of darker hair and eyes than the Judge; and the two -mingled in the daughter, and formed a slender figure and a graceful -form, an ardent, lovable character, as one could easily discover. - -Diligent by nature and proud of her progress in early studies, Caroline -had entered Vassar’s advanced classes and employed all her energy to -excel in each department. - -She literally lived in her books for four full years, to the exclusion -of modes, society, or even the newspapers; her one ambition seemed -ever to be excellence, and when the graduating day arrived, and the -long row in white were seated in breathless awe to read their papers -and receive their reward, something more than a common interest was -awakened. - -Such are the days when young men of wealth and ambition, and poorer -men with an eye to the beautiful, come in and listen to the overdrawn -pictures of school-girls’ first productions. - -The theme of Caroline Crofton was “Pioneers;” how they had founded -our government in the little log school-houses of New England, in -the sixteenth century; how they had established their town meetings -and voting precincts; how they had gradually driven back the Indians -(“noble redmen”) from the rich, fertile valley of the Mohawk in New -York, cleared away the underbrush from the fertile plains of Northern -Ohio and Pennsylvania, and boldly evaded the massive pineries of -bleak, cold Northern Michigan; dauntlessly, fearlessly, and bravely -establishing schools and churches in the very midst of Indian huts and -wigwams, taking their lives in their hands, to improve and populate a -great and growing nation; and how wonderfully they had all prospered. - -In her vivid and graphic picture of a fruitful theme (a theme learned -from books and stories), she dwelt on the part that mothers had borne, -and brothers were bearing, in this tide of prosperity and improvement, -till tear-drops came fast to the earnest eyes of the old gray-haired -professors, who were judges, and many a mother’s heart leaped with -joyous pride at the mention of brave sons battling with the Western -wilderness, for their sons were among them. - -Caroline Crofton could feel the hush of silence, always such applause -as is irresistible; she could feel the emotion, and conveyed that -emotion to her audience; she forgot herself, forgot her hearers, -and read with a girlish animation born of deep-seated belief in the -grandeur of the theme she advocated. Round after round of applause -greeted her conclusion, and she staggered to her seat literally -overcome by the brilliant effort which resulted in a handsomely -inscribed medal as first of her class of Vassar. - -Whether the influence of that essay on the mind of Caroline, or its -greater influence on Cyrus Arthur (a newly arrived resident of Vassar) -was the most potent means of a quick acquaintance between them, is not -well known to the writers; certain it is that an early friendship soon -refined into affection, and meagre inquiries into his character being -satisfactory to Caroline, he was promptly admitted as a suitor at the -dignified household of Judge Crofton, on the banks of the beautiful St. -Lawrence. The Judge was led to believe that a long acquaintance had -ripened between schoolmates, when in fact it was a love at first sight -affair, and on very little consideration. - -That these young and ambitious lovers enjoyed all that is allotted -to their class is forever a secret, for their after-life reveals but -little of its mystery. Their after-life was a struggle for bread first, -and position soon after. They really put off living, very foolishly. - -Cyrus Arthur was a large, strongly built, dark-haired, handsome fellow, -of considerable assurance in the social gatherings, and generally -managed to lead off with the dances and parties from his size and -commanding way more than from any merit of talent or real goodness in -himself; one of the village leaders who gained favor by fine looks and -outward appearance; one of the petted class of forenoon brilliants -whose afternoons are often more shaded. - -There was a smile of serene contentment and half-satisfaction on the -haughty face of young Arthur as he offered himself to the Judge’s -daughter in that manner assumed by generals in battle. He obtained his -prize, and she obtained her ambition. He married beauty, she married a -leader. Her highly colored future was a life of intellectual greatness; -his first pride was of conquest, then of distinction. - -A large man in a small place may be a little man in a large city. - -In good season they were married, of course; and of their courtship -little need be said, for it was all unromantic. - -Arthur’s father was a merchant of limited means, and the younger having -high notions of going West to grow up with the country, early settled -in a lumber-making city of North Michigan, where he took his fair young -companion, who soon realized that her rose-colored romance of brave -pioneers was not a living reality. - -Dreams are one thing, real life is another; work was scarce in the big -overgrown city, but plentiful in the pineries; and after the first -day of married life wore into weeks, and living expense came around -with painful regularity, the new couple were forced to economize, then -look for employment, which they first found in tending store and camp, -cooking for a large lumber-ranch; certainly far less refining than the -vision of a Vassar schoolgirl’s essay had pictured. - -But they prospered, and by dint of close saving, always coming from the -wise counsel of the weaker one, they became managers, then owners, of -a portable saw-mill and a ranch, and gradually a store building partly -paid for. - -From the letters home, showing their thrift and economy, gradually -came small sums lent to the far-away idol of the staid old Judge’s -household. Cyrus was surprised and delighted one day to find a large -bill of goods sent on to fill up their store and give them a start in -their hard beginning. - -It was the work and influence of that little brainy wife, whose tender -hands had grown harder by cooking, mending, and working for forty or -more robust workmen, and the reward it brought and the encouragement -to both. With a well-stocked grocery and comfortable surroundings, -Cyrus began to look the world in the face quite complacently, and take -matters easier. Meanwhile, the silent ambition of Caroline determined, -if growing up with the country meant anything, she would fathom its -mystery, and she continued to delve and save, and plan and execute, and -encourage her husband in his extensive contracts. - -Here was a profit on forty laborers, a margin on their payment in -goods, a rise in lumber, and a golden opportunity to buy vast tracts -of pine timber at very low figures in cash payments. Drawing on her -savings the little wife advised wise investments. - - -II. - -Fifty-seven, eight, and nine were the three trying years in Northern -Michigan. Many a man would cheerfully trade a load of shingles for -a bag of corn, and a thousand feet of timber for a single ham. New -England thrift was in the market, and the little daughter of a discreet -judge balanced the chances and made hay in sunshine most effectually. - -Four years passed by, and a rapid rise in prices gradually increased -the value of timber, then lumber, then shingles, then lands, and long -before the war ended, Arthur and his once timid wife were among the -wealthy citizens of the Rapids. - -A large, strong frame, and but little anxiety; a dark, swarthy -complexion, with a heavy black beard; the face of such a man at -thirty-eight showed less signs of wear than his little fair-faced -companion at six years younger. - -Age, climate, work, and care were telling on the slender build of -Caroline. The rapid birth of three children in ten years told also -their story of a mother’s anxiety, written in shading lines on her once -delicate features. - -Absorbed in her duties as a wife, she had little room for society, -while he, a man relieved by riches from hard labor, was approaching -that prime of maturity when the world looks complacently upward to one -who has prospered, not even asking how, or why, or any reason. - -Long trips to large cities, absence from home, mingling often with -wealthy lumbermen, and assuming that position that wealth ever commands -in society, were doing for Cyrus Arthur what they will do for many in -like situations. - -He craved a larger field for usefulness, he moved and settled in -a large city; he craved society, he was a favorite with women; he -developed a fondness for the more forward class. He fell; he fell often. - -If he had ever loved his devoted wife, the author of all his success -and prosperity, he now grew unloving, haunted by the caresses of more -passionate women. Driven by appetite to seek the companionship of the -brazen and deceitful, he lost his self-respect, his love of home, and -grew madly in love with a most bewitching character, lately divorced -from her husband. - -A spell came over him; “the trail of the serpent is over them -all,”--the “twelfth temptation,” as shown in the powerful drama of -its name, that takes a farmer-boy in innocence, carries him safely -through the perils of a great city, saves him from saloons and wine, -and larceny and dishonesty, and at last when weakened by tampering with -sin, brings him face to face with such dazzling beauty that his fall -before it seems as natural as his ruin later is effectual. - -The trail of the serpent had crossed by the path of Arthur. The coil -wound around him, for he loved the bold siren who enchanted him, and -yielded to the twelfth temptation. - - -III. - -“For a woman can do with a man what she will;” yet a man who knows a -woman thoroughly and loves her truly--and there are women who may be so -known and loved--will find, after a few years, that his relish for the -grosser pleasures is lessened, and that he has grown into a fondness -for the intellectual and refined amusements without an effort, and -almost unawares. - -Fettered and controlled by the witchery of his evil genius, Cyrus -Arthur lost all power but that borrowed of his seducer. Her counsel -replaced the once wise confidence of a better companion. Her influence -was as a loadstone in a compass,--it carried him in dumb obedience to -her will. He was absorbed, confused, bewitched, stranded, lost! - -As often as they met in their evil way, she demanded a divorce and -insisted on early proceedings. - -“But the cause?” he would say. “Cause?” she would answer; “make a -cause!” “Not so easily done,” replied her willing admirer. - -“Money will do anything,” was her ready answer. - -“Money will do anything,” repeated the fond lumberman; “true, money -will do everything.” - -But how? When, and where? - -These questions were all puzzling. - - -IV. - -There was a dark-faced inspector, a man-of-all-work in lumber camp, -called Roland, who had often called at Arthur’s, and who occasionally -partook a little too freely of Northern fire-water, as the Indians term -it, and whose poverty at such times would consent to almost anything, -on one pretence and another. - -Young Roland was sent to inquire if Mr. Arthur was in, or if Mrs. -Arthur needed shopping done, or errands attended to, with instructions -to hint that his employer was seen riding out with the enchantress -in a cutter, seemingly on the way to another village. These little -irritations were to be repeated for effect, but no effect seems -probable. They did create some inquiry, and at such dates of -confidential conferences Mrs. Arthur was alone with the hireling spy -and listened to his inferences of her husband’s indiscretions. - -Neither by word nor deed nor murmur did Caroline exhibit a sign -or symbol of her unhappiness, save by the deeper lines and paler -countenance that easily escaped detection to one who barely looked her -in the eyes twice a day for months together. - -It was a failure; she would never act, he must take the initiative. - -Armed with a sworn affidavit of her infidelity with Roland on a recent -occasion, together with further papers to complete their separation -and settle an alimony of a few thousand dollars as her share of their -large property, Cyrus Arthur visited his wife late at night as a robber -would call for her jewels, and demanded a complete surrender. Stunned -and shocked, and overcome by the intelligence, she wept most bitterly, -pleaded, begged, and implored her husband, in the name of Heaven, to -spare her and her _children_ from a disgrace so terrible. The sighing -of the pines in a Northern forest would have moved him as soon from his -purpose. She was between him and an envied object; he must succeed. -He was already goaded to desperation. Seizing the part of her plea -relating to her little girls, he made the worst of it. - -“If you would spare yourself and them from disgrace eternally, make no -denial and all shall be secret, and no one the wiser.” - -“Can this be true?” asked the distracted mother of the other’s lawyer. - -“Yes,” he replied, cases have been heard on default and divorces -granted, and not one scrap of bill or answer ever published. - -“What is a bill and answer?” questioned the little woman in her tears, -for she never dreamed of a divorce between her and her husband till -that moment. - -“It is the ground and denial for divorce,” replied the attorney. - -“Cyrus Arthur,” said his wife, as she looked at the eyes that evaded -her earnestness, “do you mean this proceeding, or are you trifling?” - -“I am in earnest,” he answered. - -“Have you forgotten my home, my surroundings, the shock to my mother, -my father, my own feelings, my neighbors, our children? Do you realize -how you sin, and wrong me? - -“How I have toiled and helped you, planned our success! How I have -suffered, gone almost in the grave, in bringing you these children! Are -you in earnest? - -“If your heart is not iron, speak to me; shall I deny such a foolish -slander? Shall I tell you before God, who will one day judge us all, -that every one of the charges are infamous lies and perjuries; shall I -place my word against his and you deny me?” - -“But you cannot swear in court in such cases,” said the ready lawyer. - -“Then Heaven will hear me; I am innocent. And may the Almighty end my -life right here, if I have ever, by act or look, or word or deed, done -aught that a true woman should not do in every day of our married life, -from first to last, as God is my witness!” - -“But your children?” he pleaded, as if he had heard not a word of her -earnest protest. - -On and on they argued, later and later grew the hour, till, worn out at -midnight they passed her the papers, and eight thousand dollars, with -which she was to return to her home in New England, and abandon all -defense to the proceeding, including a release of all dower interest in -his estate, real and personal. - -You may smile at the absurdity, you may question the reason of such -haste and compulsion. - -“But who, alas! can love and still be wise?” - -Ask of the court records in every American city, and you will find -stronger cases and stronger instances, more degradation, greater -hardship, and equal perjury. Ask of _one_ court and find this case! - -No sleep nor rest comes to Caroline Arthur. Early dawn found her -surrounded by her weeping children, in alarm at the sudden illness, for -she only called it illness. - -Twice she started for the City National Bank to deposit her money, and -twice relented. Once she determined to consult a neighbor, and later -concluded she would bear alone her sorrow. - -Hastily filing his bill and securing her appearance, an early demand -for a hearing before a commissioner, in less than a _single week_ came -a divorce on the ground of infidelity. - -Elated by his victory, with his deeds well recorded, and the court’s -great seal granting their divorcement, Cyrus Arthur stalked the streets -in supreme confidence as a man of victory. - -It is said that Roman generals, once victorious ever bore about with -them the marks of conquerors; so did our modern general, but for a -brief duration. - -Once in the newspapers, and the busy streets were vocal with open -denunciation. “Eight thousand dollars from a property worth one hundred -and fifty thousand dollars!” came from bankers. “The wife that made -him what he is,” said another. “A shame to our civilization,” said the -third. “A fraud, a sham, a pretext,” said another. - -And the majority joined in the last anthem,--“a sham, a pretext,” a -trick to turn off his worn-out wife and marry that impious trader in -unvirtue and immorality. - -Press interviews were had, and the dear little lady of clean hands -and honest heart, whose soul shone as a diamond in the filth of foul -slander around her, utterly and consistently refuted and denied the -whole story, and related its history with marvellous circumstantial -evidence to convince any reasonable person of her truthfulness. - -Indignation knew no bounds; a firm of able lawyers at once filed a -cross bill, and a prayer to set aside the fraudulent bill and another -to annul all conveyances to Arthur; and within almost as brief a limit -as he had secured his decree she had been restored to her rights with a -divorce from Arthur and a thirty-thousand-dollar settlement. - -He was driven from the city in infamy, and she lived on in honor; but -the stain on the children was of a nature more permanent. - - - - -UNROMANTIC MARRIAGES. - - -Grace Hartwell graduated at Hillsdale College in 18--, and settled as -an assistant teacher in the Union school on College Hill, living with -her mother across the narrow river near by, where she would pass the -old homestead of Richard Baker, son of a well-to-do farmer adjoining -the village, and who early became interested in the fair young teacher. - -Grace was a full brunette, of fairer complexion than is common to her -school of beauty. - -She was beautiful, with well rounded arms, heavy black hair, rosy lips, -white hands, eyes of marked expression--eyes that stood out full, and -shone in striking contrasts, the black portion and the white being -clear and sharply defined. - -Grace was no less a beauty than a dreamer, and longed for the kind of -change that best suits a girl of her quick, passionate, and impulsive -nature--a marriage. - -Richard was below the medium size, with very light hair, of slim -figure, reticent of speech, shy and bashful, especially so in the -presence of Grace, whom he met at parties, donations, and college -receptions, so frequent and amusing in their lively village. - -Both went too long a distance for their dinner to make the trip -agreeable, and both often carried their daily lunches in little baskets -for convenience. - -On their homeward trips they met occasionally, bowed, passed the time -of day, chatted of the last night’s party. It was growing so much of a -custom with Richard to meet these road-side appointments, self-made, -and well timed to match his lonely companion, that they soon became a -matter of each day’s history. - -Grace was willing to listen, Richard was anxious to turn aside from his -regular pathway and go round a square to bear her company. - -They were in love without romance, and against both the belief and -expectation of all their associates. - -She was the prize of the village; he was neither well-off nor popular, -but plain and unhandsome. He was not her only suitor, but the first had -taken some pique at her attentions to a stranger in the village, that -offended the haughty admirer of her beauty, and each was claimant for -her entire devotion. - -Miss Hartwell’s father was a tall black-eyed Virginian, warm-blooded, -swarthy, and impulsive, and liked not the manner of his daughter’s new -friendship. - -He put his foot down with emphasis. He insisted on obedience. He wanted -position, old family, wealth and social standing, or no marriage. - -Grace could not always govern her scholars, but herself she was -determined to control. - -Herein both father and daughter were much alike. - -Time passed; attachment increased by opposition. Such is more often the -way of lovers separated; but these were not wholly separated. - -At the death of Richard’s stepfather a division of the estate netted a -round three thousand to the young farmer, who had done nearly all the -farm work lately, and now started on an early Northwestern visit to -the wheat-growing regions, resolved on a test of climate, comparison -of prices, and general outlook for an investment. He bought early and -largely in prairie lands of finest quality. He struggled, prospered, -and grew well-to-do as a farmer. - -And what became of Grace, the teacher? Letters to and from Dakota, -neatly written, choicely worded, and carefully punctuated, from one -side; hurried notes, badly composed, from the other. The mind is never -quite full of two subjects at once, and the surest cure for heartache -is active employment and earnest work. - -The increasing cares of farming, the magnitude of the business, the -constant desire for money (for the seed-time of farming is in its early -stages), were a source of daily anxiety to Richard. “My poor Richard” -was not a common name for a heading to Grace’s letters; truly she had -found a fit name for her absent lover; a lover of land and of cattle, a -lover of acres and of reapers, a lover of fences and shade-trees, and a -growing Northwesterner; but poor, indeed, in actual happiness. - -They were married; Grace removed to her rude quarters and furnished -them by taste, skill, and refinement. She took to her new home all the -delicacy of rare machine-work, neat stitching, and tidy ornaments of -her Eastern education; the sewing of many odd hours of industry. - -It seemed like an endless harvest, a long busy day, a strife and a -struggle, in a wilderness of bleak broad fields at great distance from -market. They raised vast crops, but sold at low prices. - -The panic of ’73, and the cold winter following, made not a very happy -honeymoon to both, but they endured it all, risked all in a fond large -hope of abundant future riches. In a land of no railroads (it’s changed -now; it’s as much more brilliant to-day as an electric light compared -with the light of a common candle), Dakota was then rather a dreary -country. - -Sometimes, it is true, there would come over Grace a feeling of -lonesome homesickness. It comes to a far-away settler many times in a -lifetime; but she would choke it under, and resolve to be a brave wife -and a worthy companion. - -Ten years have rolled by, and times are better; both are older, worn a -little by climate, larger, changed. - -On the way to the National Park I chanced past their village one -evening on the great Pacific Railroad, and mentioned “Hillsdale” -incidentally. - -I saw a woman turn half-way round and look towards me, but went on -unmindful of the situation. Suddenly her companion arose and asked me -if I said Hillsdale, to which I assented, and then a vacant seat was -made and both came back and questioned me. They were strange people, -truly. - -He a stout-built, long-bearded man, half gray, with buffalo -overcoat, fur cap and mittens on; she well wrapped in beaver; both -Western-looking in every particular. - -“You spoke of Hillsdale, sir,” began the woman; “and we lived there -once, and feel curious to know if you would not remain all night with -us. We have a farm near by next station. I hope you will consent to -spend the night with us;” clearly the woman was the social leader. - -There was a pleading in the look, a frank expression that said, Please -do, and I consented. - -Two miles, a drive by a cold open sleigh-ride--cold is hardly strong -enough to mark the term,--and we found a low unpainted farm-house, -plastered below, with chamber-floor for ceiling overhead, and rudely -formed walls; a house of three rooms, mainly in two; a farm of six -thousand acres, five teams, three tenant-houses, wagons and sleighs and -farming-tools without stint, but comfort nowhere. - -After breakfast the farmer fed his flocks and attended to his general -chores, while I stayed in and chatted by a sickly pretence of fire -made of bad coal and green kindling-wood. I had seen, each time as he -came in, how gently he handled his little pet dogs, that seemed their -only children, how deeply absorbed he was in farm and stock, and how -anxious he was I should see the ranch, but how little he noticed his -superior companion. - -“Where are your children?” I ventured to inquire. - -“They are all three yonder in the field,” she said, and I knew they -all slept in narrow houses there. This seemed to let loose the flood -that held her feelings since the night before. “But for my husband,” -she added, “I should go home ere this. He promised me to go as soon as -the road was built; but then it costs so much, we keep on putting off -from year to year. But I am longing so much to go! And when I heard -that word Hillsdale last night, it filled me so full of home I could -not contain myself. I hope you were not offended; but it seemed if -some one would come and talk to me, my life would all be new again! It -is so blank, so bleak, so cold and desolate, and I am heart hungry.” -The tears came fast, and filled her large dark eyes and softened down -her voice to tones of confidence. With eagerness she spoke of care, and -work and trouble, sorrow and neglect; for, in his greed of gain, he had -forgotten her as year by year rolled on, and both were growing older -fast, and he not heeding it,--living on in his farm, reapers, sheep and -crops; his heart was full of such, and had no room for her, no room for -life. - -“And you have been out here for fifteen years?” I said. “How many years -in that long time have you really lived?” - -“Lived!” said Grace--for this was Grace and Richard, as you must know -ere this--“lived!” she replied;--“in work and trouble a long life -indeed; in happiness, not one year yet. We have been waiting every year -for that good time to come when we would find our happiness; we have -not found it yet. The more he gets, the more he wants. Land means care, -and taxes, and hired men, anxiety of crops, and overwork. - -“I had rather live _one year_ back by the old farm school-house, when I -carried my dinner to my school, and had a loving group of faces looking -into my eyes each noon, and loving me, than own all our acres and be -here a dozen years. - -“Life is not all in years to me! I have learned that lesson dearly, -learned it living where we see so little of real life that memory is -all the hope I have.” - -“Starving amid plenty is cruelty,” I said. “Sell half and live while -you may. You are wasting your whole lives in a fruitless hunt for -happiness.” - -I have since learned that my visit was a revolution and reform, and -that they are living better. - -And I thought, as I turned to the States and cast a long sad look -at the lonely form in the doorway, and one at the bundle of robes -beside me, who was driving me to the land of daily enjoyment, if their -children had grown up and lived in such a place, where would have -been their hope? In land and horses! Where their company? The company -of flocks and cattle. The hope of sometime finding more congenial -quarters. I turned in sadness, saying inwardly, “God pity the land-poor -farmers, and pity their wives, and show them the lives they are -leading!” - - * * * * * - -THE SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE. - -BY JOHN COWAN, M. D. - -A Book Well Worth Possessing by Every Thoughtful Man and Woman. - -The “Science of a New Life” has received the highest testimonials and -commendations from leading medical and religious critics; has been -heartily endorsed by all the leading philanthropists, and recommended -to every well-wisher of the human race. - -_TO ALL WHO ARE MARRIED_ - -Or are contemplating marriage, it will give information worth HUNDREDS -OF DOLLARS, besides conferring a lasting benefit, not only upon them, -but upon their children. Every thinking man and woman should study this -work. Any person desiring to know more about the book before purchasing -it, may send to us for our 16-page descriptive circular, giving full -and complete table of contents. It will be sent free by mail to any -address. The following is the table of contents. - -Marriage and its advantages; Age at which to marry; The Law of choice; -Love Analyzed; Qualities the Man Should Avoid in Choosing; Qualities -the Woman Should Avoid in Choosing; The Anatomy and Physiology of -Generation in Women; The Anatomy and Physiology of Generation in Man; -Amativeness--its Use and Abuse; The Prevention of Conception; The Law -of Continence; Children--Their Desirability; The Law of Genius; The -Conception of a New Life; The Physiology of Inter-Uterine Growth; -Period of Gestative Influence; Pregnancy--Its Signs and Duration; -Disorders of Pregnancy; Confinement; Management of Mother and Child -after Delivery; Period of Nursing Influence; Fœticide; Diseases -Peculiar to Women; Diseases Peculiar to Men; Masturbation; Sterility -and Impotence; Subjects of which More Might be Said; A Happy Married -Life--How Secured. - -The book is a handsome 8VO, and contains over 400 PAGES, with more than -100 ILLUSTRATIONS, and is sold at the following PRICES--ENGLISH CLOTH, -BEVELED BOARDS, GILT SIDE AND BACK, $3.00; LEATHER, SPRINKLED EDGES, -$3.50; HALF TURKEY MOROCCO, MARBLED EDGES, GILT BACK, $4.00. Sent by -mail, post-paid, to any address, on receipt of price. - -COMMENDATIONS. - -“In a careful examination of Dr. Cowan’s SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE, I am -prepared to give it my very cordial approval. It deserves to be in -every family, and read and pondered, as closely relating to the highest -moral and physical well-being of all its members.... The essential -remedy for these great evils is to be found in Dr. Cowan’s work; -therefore, may it be circulated far and wide.” - - WILLIAM LLOYD GARRISON. - -“As it is easier to generate a race of healthy men and women than to -regenerate the diseased and discordant humanity we now have, I heartily -recommend the study of THE SCIENCE OF A NEW LIFE to every father and -mother in the land.” - - ELIZABETH CADY STANTON. - -“It seems to us to be one of the wisest, and purest, and most helpful -of those Books which have been written in recent years, with the -intention of teaching Men and Women the Truths about their Bodies, -which are of peculiar importance to the morals of Society.... No one -can begin to imagine the misery that has come upon the human family -solely through ignorance upon this subject.” - - THE CHRISTIAN UNION. - -If, after reading the above, you wish to get a copy of the book, send -us the money by Post-office order or registered letter, and we will -send it by return mail. - -Agents wanted to whom we offer liberal terms. Send to us at once for -confidential terms, and state what territory you can work to advantage. - -Address all orders and applications for an agency to - -J. S. OGILVIE Publisher, _P. O. BOX 2767. ROSE STREET, NEW YORK._ - - * * * * * - -ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT BUILDING A HOUSE? - -[Illustration] - -IT IS EASY ENOUGH TO BUILD A HOUSE AT A LOW COST IF YOU START RIGHT -and the way to start right is to buy the new book, PALLISER’S AMERICAN -ARCHITECTURE; or, Every Man a Complete Builder, prepared by Palliser, -Palliser & Co., the well-known Architects. A careful examination of -this book will save you hundreds of dollars. - -There is not a Builder, or anyone intending to build or otherwise -interested, that can afford to be without it. It is a practical work, -and the best, cheapest and most popular book ever issued on Building. -Nearly four hundred drawings. A $10 book in size and style, but we have -determined to make it meet the popular demand, to suit the times. - -It contains 104 pages, 11 x 14 inches in size, and consists of -large 9 x 12 plate pages, giving plans, elevations, perspective -views, descriptions, owners’ names, actual cost of construction, -_no guesswork_, and instructions HOW TO BUILD 70 Cottages, Villas, -Double Houses, Brick Block Houses, suitable for city suburbs, town -and country, houses for the farm, and workingmen’s homes for all -sections of the country, and costing from $800 to $6,500; also Barns, -Stables, School House, Town Hall, Churches, and other public buildings, -together with specifications, forms of contract, and a large amount of -information on the erection of buildings, selection of site, employment -of Architects. It is worth $10 to any one, but we will send it in paper -cover by mail, postpaid, on receipt of $1.00; bound in cloth, $2.00. -Address all orders to - -J. S. OGILVIE, Publisher, 57 Rose St., New York. - - * * * * * - -Transcriber’s Notes: - -The author of this book is listed in other sources as James W. Donovan -using the pseudonym Hildreth. - -Punctuation has been made consistent. - -Variations in spelling and hyphenation were retained as they appear in -the original publication, except that obvious typographical errors have -been corrected. - -The following changes were made: - -p. 54: that removed (and trials come) - -p. 65: it added (for it a) - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Don't Marry, by James W. Donovan - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK DON'T MARRY *** - -***** This file should be named 53368-0.txt or 53368-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/3/3/6/53368/ - -Produced by Demian Katz, Craig Kirkwood, and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (Images -courtesy of the Digital Library@Villanova University -(http://digital.library.villanova.edu/).) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org - - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - |