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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cakewalk to Gloryanna, by L.J. Stecher
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-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Cakewalk to Gloryanna
-
-Author: L.J. Stecher
-
-Release Date: September 9, 2016 [EBook #53016]
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-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
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-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CAKEWALK TO GLORYANNA ***
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-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
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-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="366" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>CAKEWALK TO GLORYANNA</h1>
-
-<p>BY L. J. STECHER, JR.</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Worlds of Tomorrow June 1963<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p class="ph3">The job was easy. The profit was enormous. The<br />
-only trouble was&mdash;the cargo had a will of its own!</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Captain Hannah climbed painfully down from the <i>Delta Crucis</i>, hobbled
-across the spaceport to where Beulah and I were waiting to greet him
-and hit me in the eye. Beulah&mdash;that's his elephant, but I have to take
-care of her for him because Beulah's baby belongs to me and Beulah has
-to take care of it&mdash;kept us apart until we both cooled down a little.
-Then, although still somewhat dubious about it, she let us go together
-across the field to the spaceport bar.</p>
-
-<p>I didn't ask Captain Hannah why he had socked me.</p>
-
-<p>Although he has never been a handsome man, he usually has the
-weathered and austere dignity that comes from plying the remote reaches
-among the stars. Call it the Look of Eagles. Captain Hannah had lost
-the Look of Eagles. His eyes were swollen almost shut; every inch of
-him that showed was a red mass of welts piled on more welts, as though
-he had tangled with a hive of misanthropic bees. The gold-braided hat
-of his trade was not clamped in its usual belligerent position slightly
-over one eye. It was riding high on his head, apparently held up by
-more of the ubiquitous swellings.</p>
-
-<p>I figured that he figured that I had something to do with the way he
-looked.</p>
-
-<p>"Shipping marocca to Gloryanna III didn't turn out to be a cakewalk
-after all?" I suggested.</p>
-
-<p>He glared at me in silence.</p>
-
-<p>"Perhaps you would like a drink first, and then you would be willing to
-tell me about it?"</p>
-
-<p>I decided that his wince was intended for a nod, and ordered rhial.
-I only drink rhial when I've been exposed to Captain Hannah. It was
-almost a pleasure to think that <i>I</i> was responsible, for a change, for
-having <i>him</i> take the therapy.</p>
-
-<p>"A <i>Delta</i> Class freighter can carry almost anything," he said at last,
-in a travesty of his usual forceful voice. "But some things it should
-never try."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He lapsed back into silence after this uncharacteristic admission. I
-almost felt sorry for him, but just then Beulah came racking across
-the field with her two-ton infant in tow, to show her off to Hannah. I
-walled off my pity. He had foisted those two maudlin mastodons off onto
-me in one of our earlier deals, and if I had somehow been responsible
-for his present troubles, it was no more than he deserved. I rated
-winning for once.</p>
-
-<p>"You <i>did</i> succeed in getting the marocca to Gloryanna III?" I asked
-anxiously, after the elephants had been admired and sent back home.
-The success of that venture&mdash;even if the job had turned out to be more
-difficult than we had expected&mdash;meant an enormous profit to both of
-us. The fruit of the marocca is delicious and fabulously expensive.
-The plant grew only on the single planet Mypore II. Transshipped seeds
-invariably failed to germinate, which explained its rarity.</p>
-
-<p>The Myporians were usually, and understandably, bitterly, opposed to
-letting any of the living plants get shipped off their planet. But when
-I offered them a sizable piece of cash plus a perpetual share of the
-profits for letting us take a load of marocca plants to Gloryanna III,
-they relented and, for the first time in history, gave their assent. In
-fact, they had seemed delighted.</p>
-
-<p>"I got them there safely," said Captain Hannah.</p>
-
-<p>"And they are growing all right?" I persisted.</p>
-
-<p>"When I left, marocca was growing like mad," said Captain Hannah.</p>
-
-<p>I relaxed and leaned back in my chair. I no longer felt the need of
-rhial for myself. "Tell me about it," I suggested.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"It was you who said that we should carry those damn plants to
-Gloryanna III," he said balefully. "I ought to black your other eye."</p>
-
-<p>"Simmer down and have some more rhial," I told him. "Sure I get the
-credit for that. Gloryanna III is almost a twin to Mypore II. You know
-that marocca takes a very special kind of environment. Bright sun most
-of the time&mdash;that means an almost cloudless environment. A very equable
-climate. Days and nights the same length and no seasons&mdash;that means no
-ecliptical and no axial tilt. But our tests showed that the plants had
-enough tolerance to cause no trouble in the trip in <i>Delta Crucis</i>." A
-light dawned. "Our tests were no good?"</p>
-
-<p>"Your tests were no good," agreed the captain with feeling. "I'll tell
-you about it first, and <i>then</i> I'll black your other eye," he decided.</p>
-
-<p>"You'll remember that I warned you that we should take some marocca
-out into space and solve any problems we might find before committing
-ourselves to hauling a full load of it?" asked Captain Hannah.</p>
-
-<p>"We couldn't," I protested. "The Myporians gave us a deadline. If
-we had gone through all of that rigamarole, we would have lost the
-franchise. Besides, they gave you full written instructions about what
-to do under all possible circumstances."</p>
-
-<p>"Sure. Written in Myporian. A very difficult language to translate.
-Especially when you're barricaded in the head."</p>
-
-<p>I almost asked him why he had been barricaded in the bathroom of the
-<i>Delta Crucis</i>, but I figured it was safer to let him tell me in his
-own way, in his own time.</p>
-
-<p>"Well," he said, "I got into parking orbit around Mypore without any
-trouble. The plastic film kept the water in the hydroponic tanks
-without any trouble, even in a no-gravity condition. And by the time I
-had lined up for Gloryanna and Jumped, I figured, like you said, that
-the trip would be a cakewalk.</p>
-
-<p>"Do you remember how the plants always keep their leaves facing the
-sun? They twist on their stems all day, and then they go on twisting
-them all night, still pointing at the underground sun, so that they're
-aimed right at sunrise. So the stem looks like a corkscrew?"</p>
-
-<p>I nodded. "Sure. That's why they can't stand an axial tilt. They
-'remember' the rate and direction of movement, and keep it up during
-the night time. So what? We had that problem all figured out."</p>
-
-<p>"You think so? That solution was one of yours, too, wasn't it?" He
-gazed moodily at his beaker of rhial. "I must admit it sounded good
-to me, too. In Limbo, moving at multiple light-speeds, the whole
-Universe, of course, turns into a bright glowing spot in our direction
-of motion, with everything else dark. So I lined up the <i>Delta Crucis</i>
-perpendicular to her direction of motion, put a once-every-twenty-one
-hour spin on her to match the rotation rates of Mypore II and Gloryanna
-III, and uncovered the view ports to let in the light. It gradually
-brightened until 'noon time', with the ports pointing straight at the
-light source, and then dimmed until we had ten and one-half hours of
-darkness.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course, it didn't work."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"For Heaven's sake, why not?"</p>
-
-<p>"For Heaven's sake why should it? With no gravity for reference, how
-were the plants supposed to know that the 'sun' was supposed to be
-moving?"</p>
-
-<p>"So what did you do?" I asked, when that had sunk in. "If the stem
-doesn't keep winding, the plants die; and they can only take a few
-extra hours of night time before they run down."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh," said Captain Hannah in quiet tones of controlled desperation, "it
-was very simple. I just put enough spin on the ship to make artificial
-gravity, and then I strung a light and moved it every fifteen minutes
-for ten and one-half hours, until I had gone halfway around the room.
-Then I could turn the light off and rest for ten and one-half hours.
-The plants liked it fine.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course, first I had to move all the hydroponic tanks from their
-original positions perpendicular to the axial thrust line of the ship
-to a radial position. And because somehow we had picked up half of
-the plants in the northern hemisphere of Mypore and the other half in
-the southern hemisphere, it turned out that half of the plants had a
-sinistral corkscrew and the other half had a dextral. So I had to set
-the plants up in two different rooms, and run an artificial sun for
-each, going clockwise with one, widdershins with the other.</p>
-
-<p>"I won't even talk about what I went through while I was shifting the
-hydroponic tanks, when all the plastic membranes that were supposed to
-keep the water in place started to break."</p>
-
-<p>"I'd like to know," I said sincerely.</p>
-
-<p>He stared at me in silence for a moment. "Well, it filled the cabin
-with great solid bubbles of water. Water bubbles will oscillate and
-wobble like soap bubbles," he went on dreamily, "but of course,
-they're not empty, like soap bubbles. The surface acts a little like
-a membrane, so that sometimes two of the things will touch and gently
-bounce apart without joining. But just try <i>touching</i> one of them. You
-could drown&mdash;I almost did. Several times.</p>
-
-<p>"I got a fire pump&mdash;an empty one. You know the kind; a wide cylinder
-with a piston with a handle, and a hose that you squirt the water out
-of, or can suck water in with. The way you use it is, you float up on
-a big ball of water, with the pump piston down&mdash;closed. You carefully
-poke the end of the hose into the ball of water, letting only the metal
-tip touch. <i>Never</i> the hose. If you let the hose touch, the water runs
-up it and tries to drown you. Then you pull up on the piston, and draw
-all the water into the cylinder. Of course, you have to hold the pump
-with your feet while you pull the handle with your free hand."</p>
-
-<p>"Did it work?" I asked eagerly.</p>
-
-<p>"Eventually. Then I stopped to think of what to do with the water.
-It was full of minerals and manure and such, and I didn't want to
-introduce it into the ship's tanks."</p>
-
-<p>"But you solved the problem?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"In a sense," said the captain. "I just emptied the pump back into the
-air, ignored the bubbles, repositioned the tanks, put spin on the ship
-and then ladled the liquid back into the tanks with a bucket."</p>
-
-<p>"Didn't you bump into a lot of the bubbles and get yourself dunked a
-good deal while you were working with the tanks?"</p>
-
-<p>He shrugged. "I couldn't say. By that time I was ignoring them. It was
-that or suicide. I had begun to get the feeling that they were stalking
-me. So I drew a blank."</p>
-
-<p>"Then after that you were all right, except for the tedium of moving
-the lights around?" I asked him. I answered myself at once. "No. There
-must be more. You haven't told me why you hid out in the bathroom, yet."</p>
-
-<p>"Not yet," said Captain Hannah. "Like you, I figured I had the
-situation fairly well under control, but like you, I hadn't thought
-things through. The plastic membranes hadn't torn when we brought the
-tanks in board the <i>Delta Crucis</i>. It never occurred to me to hunt
-around for the reasons for the change. But I wouldn't have had long to
-hunt anyway, because in a few hours the reasons came looking for me.</p>
-
-<p>"They were a tiny skeeter-like thing. A sort of midge or junior grade
-mosquito. They had apparently been swimming in the water during their
-larval stage. Instead of making cocoons for themselves, they snipped
-tiny little pieces of plastic to use as protective covers in the pupal
-stage. I guess they were more like butterflies than mosquitoes in their
-habits. And now they were mature.</p>
-
-<p>"There were thousands and thousands of them, and each one of them made
-a tiny, maddening whine as it flew."</p>
-
-<p>"And they bit? That explains your bumps?" I asked sympathetically.</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no. These things didn't bite, they itched. And they got down
-inside of everything they could get down inside, and clung. That
-included my ears and my eyes and my nose.</p>
-
-<p>"I broke out a hand sprayer full of a DDT solution, and sprayed it
-around me to try to clear the nearby air a little, so that I could
-have room to think. The midges loved it. But the plants that were in
-reach died so fast that you could watch their leaves curl up and drop
-off.</p>
-
-<p>"I couldn't figure whether to turn up the fans and dissipate the
-cloud&mdash;by spreading it all through the ship&mdash;or whether to try to block
-off the other plant room, and save it at least. So I ended up by not
-doing anything, which was the right thing to do. No more plants died
-from the DDT.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"So then I did a few experiments, and found that the regular poison
-spray in the ship's fumigation system worked just fine. It killed
-the bugs without doing the plants any harm at all. Of course, the
-fumigation system is designed to work with the fumigator off the ship,
-because it's poisonous to humans too.</p>
-
-<p>"I finally blocked the vents and the door edges in the head, after
-running some remote controls into there, and then started the
-fumigation system going. While I was sitting there with nothing much
-to do, I tried to translate what I could of the Myporian instructions.
-It was on page eleven that it mentioned casually that the midges&mdash;the
-correct word is carolla&mdash;are a necessary part of the life cycle of the
-marocca. The larvae provide an enzyme without which the plants die.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course. I immediately stopped slapping at the relatively few midges
-that had made their way into the head with me, and started to change
-the air in the ship to get rid of the poison. I knew it was too late
-before I started, and for once I was right.</p>
-
-<p>"The only live midges left in the ship were the ones that had been
-with me during the fumigation process. I immediately tried to start
-a breeding ground for midges, but the midges didn't seem to want to
-cooperate. Whatever I tried to do, they came back to me. I was the only
-thing they seemed to love. I didn't dare bathe, or scratch, or even
-wriggle, for fear of killing more of them. And they kept on itching. It
-was just about unbearable, but I bore it for three interminable days
-while the midges died one by one. It was heartbreaking&mdash;at least, it
-was to me.</p>
-
-<p>"And it was unnecessary, too. Because apparently the carolla had
-already laid their eggs, or whatever it is that they do, before I
-had fumigated them. After my useless days of agony, a new batch
-came swarming out. And this time there were a few of a much larger
-thing with them&mdash;something like an enormous moth. The new thing just
-blundered around aimlessly.</p>
-
-<p>"I lit out for the head again, to keep away from that intolerable
-whining. This time I took a luxurious shower and got rid of most of the
-midges that came through the door with me. I felt almost comfortable,
-in fact, until I resumed my efforts to catch up on my reading.</p>
-
-<p>"The mothlike things&mdash;they are called dingleburys&mdash;also turn out to
-provide a necessary enzyme. They are supposed to have the same timing
-of their life cycle as the carolla. Apparently the shaking up I had
-given their larvae in moving the tanks and dipping the water up in
-buckets and all that had inhibited them in completing their cycle the
-first time around.</p>
-
-<p>"And the reason they had the same life cycle as the carolla was that
-the adult dinglebury will eat only the adult carolla, and it has to
-fill itself full to bursting before it will reproduce. If I had the
-translation done correctly, they were supposed to dart gracefully
-around, catching carolla on the wing and stuffing themselves happily.</p>
-
-<p>"I had to find out what was wrong with my awkward dingleburys. And
-that, of course, meant going out into the ship again. But I had to do
-that anyway, because it was almost 'daylight', and time for me to start
-shifting the lights again.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"The reason for the dingleburys' problem is fairly obvious. When you
-set up artificial gravity by spinning a ship, the gravity is fine down
-near the skin where the plants are. But the gravity potential is very
-high, and it gets very light up where things fly around, going to zero
-on the middle line of the ship. And the unfamiliar gravity gradient,
-together with the Coriolis effect and all, makes the poor dingleburys
-dizzy, so they can't catch carolla.</p>
-
-<p>"And if you think I figured all that out about dingleburys getting
-dizzy at the time, in that madhouse of a ship, then you're crazy. What
-happened was that I saw that there was one of the creatures that didn't
-seem to be having any trouble, but was acting like the book said it
-should. I caught it and examined it. The poor thing was blind, and was
-capturing her prey by sound alone.</p>
-
-<p>"So I spent the whole day&mdash;along with my usual chore of shifting the
-lights&mdash;blindfolding dingleburys. Which is a hell of a sport for a man
-who is captain of his own ship."</p>
-
-<p>I must say that I agreed with him, but it seemed to be a good time for
-me to keep my mouth shut.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, after the dingleburys had eaten and propagated, they became
-inquisitive. They explored the whole ship, going into places I wouldn't
-have believed it to be possible for them to reach, including the inside
-of the main computer, which promptly shorted out. I finally figured
-that one of the things had managed to crawl up the cooling air exhaust
-duct, against the flow of air, to see what was going on inside.</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't dare to get rid of the things without checking my book, of
-course, so it was back to the head for me. 'Night' had come again&mdash;and
-it was the only place I could get any privacy. There were plenty of the
-carolla left to join me outside.</p>
-
-<p>"I showered and swatted and started to read. I got as far as where it
-said that the dingleburys continued to be of importance, and then I'm
-afraid I fell asleep.</p>
-
-<p>"I got up with the sun the next morning. Hell, I had to, considering
-that it was I who turned the sun on! I found that the dingleburys
-immediately got busy opening small buds on the stems of the marocca
-plants. Apparently they were pollinating them. I felt sure that these
-buds weren't the marocca blossoms from which the fruit formed&mdash;I'd
-seen a lot of those while we were on Mypore II and they were much
-bigger and showier than these little acorn-sized buds.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course, I should have translated some more of my instruction book,
-but I was busy.</p>
-
-<p>"Anyway, the action of the dingleburys triggered the violent growth
-phase of the marocca plants. Did you know that they plant marocca
-seedlings, back on Mypore II, <i>at least</i> a hundred feet apart? If
-you'll recall, a mature field, which was the only kind we ever saw, is
-one solid mass of green growth.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"The book says that it takes just six hours for a marocca field to
-shift from the seedling stage to the mature stage. It didn't seem that
-long. You could <i>watch</i> the stuff grow&mdash;groping and crawling along; one
-plant twining with another as they climbed toward the light.</p>
-
-<p>"It was then that I began to get worried. If they twined around the
-light, they would keep me from moving it, and they would shadow it so
-it wouldn't do its job right. In effect, their growth would put out the
-sun.</p>
-
-<p>"I thought of putting up an electrically charged fence around the
-light, but the bugs had put most of my loose equipment out of action,
-so I got a machete. When I took a swing at one of the vines, something
-bit me on the back of the neck so hard it almost knocked me down. It
-was one of the dingleburys, and it was as mad as blazes. It seems that
-one of the things they do is to defend the marocca against marauders.
-That was the first of my welts, and it put me back in the head in
-about two seconds.</p>
-
-<p>"And what's more, I found that I couldn't kill the damn things. Not if
-I wanted to save the plants. The growth only stops at the end of six
-hours, after the blossoms appear and are visited by the dingleburys. No
-dingleburys, no growth stoppage.</p>
-
-<p>"So for the next several hours I had to keep moving those lights, and
-keep them clear of the vines, and keep the vines from shadowing each
-other to the point where they curled up and died, and I had to do it
-<i>gently</i>, surrounded by a bunch of worried dingleburys.</p>
-
-<p>"Every time they got a little too worried, or I slipped and bumped into
-a plant too hard, or looked crosseyed at them, they bit me. If you
-think I look bad now, you should have seen me just about the time the
-blossoms started to burst.</p>
-
-<p>"I was worried about those blossoms. I felt sure that they would smell
-terrible, or make me sick, or hypnotize me, or something. But they just
-turned out to be big, white, odorless flowers. They did nothing for me
-or to me. They drove the dingleburys wild, though, I'm happy to say.
-Made them forget all about me.</p>
-
-<p>"While they were having their orgy, I caught up on my reading. It
-was necessary for me to cut back the marocca vines. For one thing,
-I couldn't get up to the area of the bridge. For another, the main
-computer was completely clogged. I could use the auxiliary, on the
-bridge, if I could get to it, but it's a poor substitute. For another
-thing, I would have to cut the stuff way back if I was ever going to
-get the plants out of the ship. And I was a little anxious to get my
-<i>Delta Crucis</i> back to normal as soon as possible. But before cutting,
-I had to translate the gouge.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"It turns out that it's all right to cut marocca as soon as it stops
-growing. To keep the plants from dying, though, you have to mulch the
-cuttings and then feed them back to the plants, where the roots store
-whatever they need against the time of the next explosive period of
-growth. Of course, if you prefer you can wait for the vines to die back
-naturally, which takes several months.</p>
-
-<p>"There was one little catch, of course. The cuttings from the vines
-will poison the plants if they are fed back to them without having been
-mixed with a certain amount of processed mulch. Enzymes again. And
-there was only one special processor on board.</p>
-
-<p>"I was the special processor. That's what the instructions said&mdash;I
-translated very carefully&mdash;it required an 'organic processor'.</p>
-
-<p>"So I had to eat pounds of that horrible tasting stuff every day, and
-process it the hard way.</p>
-
-<p>"I didn't even have time to scratch my bites. I must have lost weight
-everywhere but in the swollen places, and they looked worse than they
-do now. The doctor says it may take a year before the bumps all go
-away&mdash;if they ever do&mdash;but I have improved a lot already.</p>
-
-<p>"For a while I must have been out of my head. I got so caught up in
-the rhythm of the thing that I didn't even notice when we slipped out
-of Limbo into real space near Gloryanna III. It was three days, the
-Control Tower on Gloryanna III told me, that they tried continuously
-to raise me on the communications gear before I heard the alarm bell
-and answered them, so I had to do a good deal of backtracking before
-I could get into parking orbit around the planet, and then set <i>Delta
-Crucis</i> down safely. Even as shaky as I was, <i>Delta Crucis</i> behaved
-like a lady.</p>
-
-<p>"I hadn't chopped off all of the new growth, although I had the plants
-down to manageable size. Some of the blossoms left on the plants had
-formed fruit, and the fruit had ripened and dried, and the seeds had
-developed fully. They were popping and spreading fine dust-like spores
-all over the ship, those last few hours before I landed.</p>
-
-<p>"By that time, though, an occasional sneezing fit and watering eyes
-didn't bother me any. I was far beyond the point where hay fever could
-add to my troubles.</p>
-
-<p>"When I opened the airlock door, though, the spores drifting outside
-set the customs inspectors to sneezing and swearing more than seemed
-reasonable at the time." Captain Hannah inhaled a sip of rhial, and
-seemed to be enjoying the powerful stuff. He acted as if he thought he
-had finished.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, go on," I urged him. "The marocca plants were still in good
-shape, weren't they?"</p>
-
-<p>Hannah nodded. "They were growing luxuriously." He nodded his head a
-couple of more times, in spite of the discomfort it must have given
-him.</p>
-
-<p>He said, "They made me burn the entire crop right away, of course. They
-didn't get all of the carolla or dingleburys, though. Or spores."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>"Gloryanna III is the original home planet of marocca. They hated the
-stuff, of course, but they liked the profit. Then, when a plague almost
-wiped out the dingleburys, they introduced khorram furs as a cash
-crop. It wasn't as lucrative, but it was so much more pleasant that
-they outlawed marocca. Took them almost fifty years to stamp it out
-completely. Meanwhile, some clever native shipped a load of the stuff
-to Mypore II. He took his time, did it without any trouble and made his
-fortune. And got out again quickly.</p>
-
-<p>"The Gloryannans were going to hold my <i>Delta Crucis</i> as security to
-pay for the cost of stamping out marocca all over again&mdash;those spores
-sprout fast&mdash;and for a time I was worried.</p>
-
-<p>"Of course, when I showed them our contract&mdash;that you alone were
-responsible for everything once I landed the plants safely on Gloryanna
-III, they let me go.</p>
-
-<p>"They'll send you the bill. They don't figure it will take them more
-than a few months to complete the job."</p>
-
-<p>Captain Hannah stopped talking and stood up, painfully and a little
-unsteadily.</p>
-
-<p>I'm afraid I didn't even notice when he blacked my other eye. I was too
-busy reaching for the rhial.</p>
-
-<p class="ph3">END</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Cakewalk to Gloryanna, by L.J. Stecher
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
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-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Cakewalk to Gloryanna
-
-Author: L.J. Stecher
-
-Release Date: September 9, 2016 [EBook #53016]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CAKEWALK TO GLORYANNA ***
-
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-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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-
-
- CAKEWALK TO GLORYANNA
-
- BY L. J. STECHER, JR.
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Worlds of Tomorrow June 1963
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-
-
- The job was easy. The profit was enormous. The
- only trouble was--the cargo had a will of its own!
-
-
-Captain Hannah climbed painfully down from the _Delta Crucis_, hobbled
-across the spaceport to where Beulah and I were waiting to greet him
-and hit me in the eye. Beulah--that's his elephant, but I have to take
-care of her for him because Beulah's baby belongs to me and Beulah has
-to take care of it--kept us apart until we both cooled down a little.
-Then, although still somewhat dubious about it, she let us go together
-across the field to the spaceport bar.
-
-I didn't ask Captain Hannah why he had socked me.
-
-Although he has never been a handsome man, he usually has the
-weathered and austere dignity that comes from plying the remote reaches
-among the stars. Call it the Look of Eagles. Captain Hannah had lost
-the Look of Eagles. His eyes were swollen almost shut; every inch of
-him that showed was a red mass of welts piled on more welts, as though
-he had tangled with a hive of misanthropic bees. The gold-braided hat
-of his trade was not clamped in its usual belligerent position slightly
-over one eye. It was riding high on his head, apparently held up by
-more of the ubiquitous swellings.
-
-I figured that he figured that I had something to do with the way he
-looked.
-
-"Shipping marocca to Gloryanna III didn't turn out to be a cakewalk
-after all?" I suggested.
-
-He glared at me in silence.
-
-"Perhaps you would like a drink first, and then you would be willing to
-tell me about it?"
-
-I decided that his wince was intended for a nod, and ordered rhial.
-I only drink rhial when I've been exposed to Captain Hannah. It was
-almost a pleasure to think that _I_ was responsible, for a change, for
-having _him_ take the therapy.
-
-"A _Delta_ Class freighter can carry almost anything," he said at last,
-in a travesty of his usual forceful voice. "But some things it should
-never try."
-
- * * * * *
-
-He lapsed back into silence after this uncharacteristic admission. I
-almost felt sorry for him, but just then Beulah came racking across
-the field with her two-ton infant in tow, to show her off to Hannah. I
-walled off my pity. He had foisted those two maudlin mastodons off onto
-me in one of our earlier deals, and if I had somehow been responsible
-for his present troubles, it was no more than he deserved. I rated
-winning for once.
-
-"You _did_ succeed in getting the marocca to Gloryanna III?" I asked
-anxiously, after the elephants had been admired and sent back home.
-The success of that venture--even if the job had turned out to be more
-difficult than we had expected--meant an enormous profit to both of
-us. The fruit of the marocca is delicious and fabulously expensive.
-The plant grew only on the single planet Mypore II. Transshipped seeds
-invariably failed to germinate, which explained its rarity.
-
-The Myporians were usually, and understandably, bitterly, opposed to
-letting any of the living plants get shipped off their planet. But when
-I offered them a sizable piece of cash plus a perpetual share of the
-profits for letting us take a load of marocca plants to Gloryanna III,
-they relented and, for the first time in history, gave their assent. In
-fact, they had seemed delighted.
-
-"I got them there safely," said Captain Hannah.
-
-"And they are growing all right?" I persisted.
-
-"When I left, marocca was growing like mad," said Captain Hannah.
-
-I relaxed and leaned back in my chair. I no longer felt the need of
-rhial for myself. "Tell me about it," I suggested.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"It was you who said that we should carry those damn plants to
-Gloryanna III," he said balefully. "I ought to black your other eye."
-
-"Simmer down and have some more rhial," I told him. "Sure I get the
-credit for that. Gloryanna III is almost a twin to Mypore II. You know
-that marocca takes a very special kind of environment. Bright sun most
-of the time--that means an almost cloudless environment. A very equable
-climate. Days and nights the same length and no seasons--that means no
-ecliptical and no axial tilt. But our tests showed that the plants had
-enough tolerance to cause no trouble in the trip in _Delta Crucis_." A
-light dawned. "Our tests were no good?"
-
-"Your tests were no good," agreed the captain with feeling. "I'll tell
-you about it first, and _then_ I'll black your other eye," he decided.
-
-"You'll remember that I warned you that we should take some marocca
-out into space and solve any problems we might find before committing
-ourselves to hauling a full load of it?" asked Captain Hannah.
-
-"We couldn't," I protested. "The Myporians gave us a deadline. If
-we had gone through all of that rigamarole, we would have lost the
-franchise. Besides, they gave you full written instructions about what
-to do under all possible circumstances."
-
-"Sure. Written in Myporian. A very difficult language to translate.
-Especially when you're barricaded in the head."
-
-I almost asked him why he had been barricaded in the bathroom of the
-_Delta Crucis_, but I figured it was safer to let him tell me in his
-own way, in his own time.
-
-"Well," he said, "I got into parking orbit around Mypore without any
-trouble. The plastic film kept the water in the hydroponic tanks
-without any trouble, even in a no-gravity condition. And by the time I
-had lined up for Gloryanna and Jumped, I figured, like you said, that
-the trip would be a cakewalk.
-
-"Do you remember how the plants always keep their leaves facing the
-sun? They twist on their stems all day, and then they go on twisting
-them all night, still pointing at the underground sun, so that they're
-aimed right at sunrise. So the stem looks like a corkscrew?"
-
-I nodded. "Sure. That's why they can't stand an axial tilt. They
-'remember' the rate and direction of movement, and keep it up during
-the night time. So what? We had that problem all figured out."
-
-"You think so? That solution was one of yours, too, wasn't it?" He
-gazed moodily at his beaker of rhial. "I must admit it sounded good
-to me, too. In Limbo, moving at multiple light-speeds, the whole
-Universe, of course, turns into a bright glowing spot in our direction
-of motion, with everything else dark. So I lined up the _Delta Crucis_
-perpendicular to her direction of motion, put a once-every-twenty-one
-hour spin on her to match the rotation rates of Mypore II and Gloryanna
-III, and uncovered the view ports to let in the light. It gradually
-brightened until 'noon time', with the ports pointing straight at the
-light source, and then dimmed until we had ten and one-half hours of
-darkness.
-
-"Of course, it didn't work."
-
- * * * * *
-
-"For Heaven's sake, why not?"
-
-"For Heaven's sake why should it? With no gravity for reference, how
-were the plants supposed to know that the 'sun' was supposed to be
-moving?"
-
-"So what did you do?" I asked, when that had sunk in. "If the stem
-doesn't keep winding, the plants die; and they can only take a few
-extra hours of night time before they run down."
-
-"Oh," said Captain Hannah in quiet tones of controlled desperation, "it
-was very simple. I just put enough spin on the ship to make artificial
-gravity, and then I strung a light and moved it every fifteen minutes
-for ten and one-half hours, until I had gone halfway around the room.
-Then I could turn the light off and rest for ten and one-half hours.
-The plants liked it fine.
-
-"Of course, first I had to move all the hydroponic tanks from their
-original positions perpendicular to the axial thrust line of the ship
-to a radial position. And because somehow we had picked up half of
-the plants in the northern hemisphere of Mypore and the other half in
-the southern hemisphere, it turned out that half of the plants had a
-sinistral corkscrew and the other half had a dextral. So I had to set
-the plants up in two different rooms, and run an artificial sun for
-each, going clockwise with one, widdershins with the other.
-
-"I won't even talk about what I went through while I was shifting the
-hydroponic tanks, when all the plastic membranes that were supposed to
-keep the water in place started to break."
-
-"I'd like to know," I said sincerely.
-
-He stared at me in silence for a moment. "Well, it filled the cabin
-with great solid bubbles of water. Water bubbles will oscillate and
-wobble like soap bubbles," he went on dreamily, "but of course,
-they're not empty, like soap bubbles. The surface acts a little like
-a membrane, so that sometimes two of the things will touch and gently
-bounce apart without joining. But just try _touching_ one of them. You
-could drown--I almost did. Several times.
-
-"I got a fire pump--an empty one. You know the kind; a wide cylinder
-with a piston with a handle, and a hose that you squirt the water out
-of, or can suck water in with. The way you use it is, you float up on
-a big ball of water, with the pump piston down--closed. You carefully
-poke the end of the hose into the ball of water, letting only the metal
-tip touch. _Never_ the hose. If you let the hose touch, the water runs
-up it and tries to drown you. Then you pull up on the piston, and draw
-all the water into the cylinder. Of course, you have to hold the pump
-with your feet while you pull the handle with your free hand."
-
-"Did it work?" I asked eagerly.
-
-"Eventually. Then I stopped to think of what to do with the water.
-It was full of minerals and manure and such, and I didn't want to
-introduce it into the ship's tanks."
-
-"But you solved the problem?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-"In a sense," said the captain. "I just emptied the pump back into the
-air, ignored the bubbles, repositioned the tanks, put spin on the ship
-and then ladled the liquid back into the tanks with a bucket."
-
-"Didn't you bump into a lot of the bubbles and get yourself dunked a
-good deal while you were working with the tanks?"
-
-He shrugged. "I couldn't say. By that time I was ignoring them. It was
-that or suicide. I had begun to get the feeling that they were stalking
-me. So I drew a blank."
-
-"Then after that you were all right, except for the tedium of moving
-the lights around?" I asked him. I answered myself at once. "No. There
-must be more. You haven't told me why you hid out in the bathroom, yet."
-
-"Not yet," said Captain Hannah. "Like you, I figured I had the
-situation fairly well under control, but like you, I hadn't thought
-things through. The plastic membranes hadn't torn when we brought the
-tanks in board the _Delta Crucis_. It never occurred to me to hunt
-around for the reasons for the change. But I wouldn't have had long to
-hunt anyway, because in a few hours the reasons came looking for me.
-
-"They were a tiny skeeter-like thing. A sort of midge or junior grade
-mosquito. They had apparently been swimming in the water during their
-larval stage. Instead of making cocoons for themselves, they snipped
-tiny little pieces of plastic to use as protective covers in the pupal
-stage. I guess they were more like butterflies than mosquitoes in their
-habits. And now they were mature.
-
-"There were thousands and thousands of them, and each one of them made
-a tiny, maddening whine as it flew."
-
-"And they bit? That explains your bumps?" I asked sympathetically.
-
-"Oh, no. These things didn't bite, they itched. And they got down
-inside of everything they could get down inside, and clung. That
-included my ears and my eyes and my nose.
-
-"I broke out a hand sprayer full of a DDT solution, and sprayed it
-around me to try to clear the nearby air a little, so that I could
-have room to think. The midges loved it. But the plants that were in
-reach died so fast that you could watch their leaves curl up and drop
-off.
-
-"I couldn't figure whether to turn up the fans and dissipate the
-cloud--by spreading it all through the ship--or whether to try to block
-off the other plant room, and save it at least. So I ended up by not
-doing anything, which was the right thing to do. No more plants died
-from the DDT.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"So then I did a few experiments, and found that the regular poison
-spray in the ship's fumigation system worked just fine. It killed
-the bugs without doing the plants any harm at all. Of course, the
-fumigation system is designed to work with the fumigator off the ship,
-because it's poisonous to humans too.
-
-"I finally blocked the vents and the door edges in the head, after
-running some remote controls into there, and then started the
-fumigation system going. While I was sitting there with nothing much
-to do, I tried to translate what I could of the Myporian instructions.
-It was on page eleven that it mentioned casually that the midges--the
-correct word is carolla--are a necessary part of the life cycle of the
-marocca. The larvae provide an enzyme without which the plants die.
-
-"Of course. I immediately stopped slapping at the relatively few midges
-that had made their way into the head with me, and started to change
-the air in the ship to get rid of the poison. I knew it was too late
-before I started, and for once I was right.
-
-"The only live midges left in the ship were the ones that had been
-with me during the fumigation process. I immediately tried to start
-a breeding ground for midges, but the midges didn't seem to want to
-cooperate. Whatever I tried to do, they came back to me. I was the only
-thing they seemed to love. I didn't dare bathe, or scratch, or even
-wriggle, for fear of killing more of them. And they kept on itching. It
-was just about unbearable, but I bore it for three interminable days
-while the midges died one by one. It was heartbreaking--at least, it
-was to me.
-
-"And it was unnecessary, too. Because apparently the carolla had
-already laid their eggs, or whatever it is that they do, before I
-had fumigated them. After my useless days of agony, a new batch
-came swarming out. And this time there were a few of a much larger
-thing with them--something like an enormous moth. The new thing just
-blundered around aimlessly.
-
-"I lit out for the head again, to keep away from that intolerable
-whining. This time I took a luxurious shower and got rid of most of the
-midges that came through the door with me. I felt almost comfortable,
-in fact, until I resumed my efforts to catch up on my reading.
-
-"The mothlike things--they are called dingleburys--also turn out to
-provide a necessary enzyme. They are supposed to have the same timing
-of their life cycle as the carolla. Apparently the shaking up I had
-given their larvae in moving the tanks and dipping the water up in
-buckets and all that had inhibited them in completing their cycle the
-first time around.
-
-"And the reason they had the same life cycle as the carolla was that
-the adult dinglebury will eat only the adult carolla, and it has to
-fill itself full to bursting before it will reproduce. If I had the
-translation done correctly, they were supposed to dart gracefully
-around, catching carolla on the wing and stuffing themselves happily.
-
-"I had to find out what was wrong with my awkward dingleburys. And
-that, of course, meant going out into the ship again. But I had to do
-that anyway, because it was almost 'daylight', and time for me to start
-shifting the lights again.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"The reason for the dingleburys' problem is fairly obvious. When you
-set up artificial gravity by spinning a ship, the gravity is fine down
-near the skin where the plants are. But the gravity potential is very
-high, and it gets very light up where things fly around, going to zero
-on the middle line of the ship. And the unfamiliar gravity gradient,
-together with the Coriolis effect and all, makes the poor dingleburys
-dizzy, so they can't catch carolla.
-
-"And if you think I figured all that out about dingleburys getting
-dizzy at the time, in that madhouse of a ship, then you're crazy. What
-happened was that I saw that there was one of the creatures that didn't
-seem to be having any trouble, but was acting like the book said it
-should. I caught it and examined it. The poor thing was blind, and was
-capturing her prey by sound alone.
-
-"So I spent the whole day--along with my usual chore of shifting the
-lights--blindfolding dingleburys. Which is a hell of a sport for a man
-who is captain of his own ship."
-
-I must say that I agreed with him, but it seemed to be a good time for
-me to keep my mouth shut.
-
-"Well, after the dingleburys had eaten and propagated, they became
-inquisitive. They explored the whole ship, going into places I wouldn't
-have believed it to be possible for them to reach, including the inside
-of the main computer, which promptly shorted out. I finally figured
-that one of the things had managed to crawl up the cooling air exhaust
-duct, against the flow of air, to see what was going on inside.
-
-"I didn't dare to get rid of the things without checking my book, of
-course, so it was back to the head for me. 'Night' had come again--and
-it was the only place I could get any privacy. There were plenty of the
-carolla left to join me outside.
-
-"I showered and swatted and started to read. I got as far as where it
-said that the dingleburys continued to be of importance, and then I'm
-afraid I fell asleep.
-
-"I got up with the sun the next morning. Hell, I had to, considering
-that it was I who turned the sun on! I found that the dingleburys
-immediately got busy opening small buds on the stems of the marocca
-plants. Apparently they were pollinating them. I felt sure that these
-buds weren't the marocca blossoms from which the fruit formed--I'd
-seen a lot of those while we were on Mypore II and they were much
-bigger and showier than these little acorn-sized buds.
-
-"Of course, I should have translated some more of my instruction book,
-but I was busy.
-
-"Anyway, the action of the dingleburys triggered the violent growth
-phase of the marocca plants. Did you know that they plant marocca
-seedlings, back on Mypore II, _at least_ a hundred feet apart? If
-you'll recall, a mature field, which was the only kind we ever saw, is
-one solid mass of green growth.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"The book says that it takes just six hours for a marocca field to
-shift from the seedling stage to the mature stage. It didn't seem that
-long. You could _watch_ the stuff grow--groping and crawling along; one
-plant twining with another as they climbed toward the light.
-
-"It was then that I began to get worried. If they twined around the
-light, they would keep me from moving it, and they would shadow it so
-it wouldn't do its job right. In effect, their growth would put out the
-sun.
-
-"I thought of putting up an electrically charged fence around the
-light, but the bugs had put most of my loose equipment out of action,
-so I got a machete. When I took a swing at one of the vines, something
-bit me on the back of the neck so hard it almost knocked me down. It
-was one of the dingleburys, and it was as mad as blazes. It seems that
-one of the things they do is to defend the marocca against marauders.
-That was the first of my welts, and it put me back in the head in
-about two seconds.
-
-"And what's more, I found that I couldn't kill the damn things. Not if
-I wanted to save the plants. The growth only stops at the end of six
-hours, after the blossoms appear and are visited by the dingleburys. No
-dingleburys, no growth stoppage.
-
-"So for the next several hours I had to keep moving those lights, and
-keep them clear of the vines, and keep the vines from shadowing each
-other to the point where they curled up and died, and I had to do it
-_gently_, surrounded by a bunch of worried dingleburys.
-
-"Every time they got a little too worried, or I slipped and bumped into
-a plant too hard, or looked crosseyed at them, they bit me. If you
-think I look bad now, you should have seen me just about the time the
-blossoms started to burst.
-
-"I was worried about those blossoms. I felt sure that they would smell
-terrible, or make me sick, or hypnotize me, or something. But they just
-turned out to be big, white, odorless flowers. They did nothing for me
-or to me. They drove the dingleburys wild, though, I'm happy to say.
-Made them forget all about me.
-
-"While they were having their orgy, I caught up on my reading. It
-was necessary for me to cut back the marocca vines. For one thing,
-I couldn't get up to the area of the bridge. For another, the main
-computer was completely clogged. I could use the auxiliary, on the
-bridge, if I could get to it, but it's a poor substitute. For another
-thing, I would have to cut the stuff way back if I was ever going to
-get the plants out of the ship. And I was a little anxious to get my
-_Delta Crucis_ back to normal as soon as possible. But before cutting,
-I had to translate the gouge.
-
- * * * * *
-
-"It turns out that it's all right to cut marocca as soon as it stops
-growing. To keep the plants from dying, though, you have to mulch the
-cuttings and then feed them back to the plants, where the roots store
-whatever they need against the time of the next explosive period of
-growth. Of course, if you prefer you can wait for the vines to die back
-naturally, which takes several months.
-
-"There was one little catch, of course. The cuttings from the vines
-will poison the plants if they are fed back to them without having been
-mixed with a certain amount of processed mulch. Enzymes again. And
-there was only one special processor on board.
-
-"I was the special processor. That's what the instructions said--I
-translated very carefully--it required an 'organic processor'.
-
-"So I had to eat pounds of that horrible tasting stuff every day, and
-process it the hard way.
-
-"I didn't even have time to scratch my bites. I must have lost weight
-everywhere but in the swollen places, and they looked worse than they
-do now. The doctor says it may take a year before the bumps all go
-away--if they ever do--but I have improved a lot already.
-
-"For a while I must have been out of my head. I got so caught up in
-the rhythm of the thing that I didn't even notice when we slipped out
-of Limbo into real space near Gloryanna III. It was three days, the
-Control Tower on Gloryanna III told me, that they tried continuously
-to raise me on the communications gear before I heard the alarm bell
-and answered them, so I had to do a good deal of backtracking before
-I could get into parking orbit around the planet, and then set _Delta
-Crucis_ down safely. Even as shaky as I was, _Delta Crucis_ behaved
-like a lady.
-
-"I hadn't chopped off all of the new growth, although I had the plants
-down to manageable size. Some of the blossoms left on the plants had
-formed fruit, and the fruit had ripened and dried, and the seeds had
-developed fully. They were popping and spreading fine dust-like spores
-all over the ship, those last few hours before I landed.
-
-"By that time, though, an occasional sneezing fit and watering eyes
-didn't bother me any. I was far beyond the point where hay fever could
-add to my troubles.
-
-"When I opened the airlock door, though, the spores drifting outside
-set the customs inspectors to sneezing and swearing more than seemed
-reasonable at the time." Captain Hannah inhaled a sip of rhial, and
-seemed to be enjoying the powerful stuff. He acted as if he thought he
-had finished.
-
-"Well, go on," I urged him. "The marocca plants were still in good
-shape, weren't they?"
-
-Hannah nodded. "They were growing luxuriously." He nodded his head a
-couple of more times, in spite of the discomfort it must have given
-him.
-
-He said, "They made me burn the entire crop right away, of course. They
-didn't get all of the carolla or dingleburys, though. Or spores."
-
- * * * * *
-
-"Gloryanna III is the original home planet of marocca. They hated the
-stuff, of course, but they liked the profit. Then, when a plague almost
-wiped out the dingleburys, they introduced khorram furs as a cash
-crop. It wasn't as lucrative, but it was so much more pleasant that
-they outlawed marocca. Took them almost fifty years to stamp it out
-completely. Meanwhile, some clever native shipped a load of the stuff
-to Mypore II. He took his time, did it without any trouble and made his
-fortune. And got out again quickly.
-
-"The Gloryannans were going to hold my _Delta Crucis_ as security to
-pay for the cost of stamping out marocca all over again--those spores
-sprout fast--and for a time I was worried.
-
-"Of course, when I showed them our contract--that you alone were
-responsible for everything once I landed the plants safely on Gloryanna
-III, they let me go.
-
-"They'll send you the bill. They don't figure it will take them more
-than a few months to complete the job."
-
-Captain Hannah stopped talking and stood up, painfully and a little
-unsteadily.
-
-I'm afraid I didn't even notice when he blacked my other eye. I was too
-busy reaching for the rhial.
-
-END
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Cakewalk to Gloryanna, by L.J. Stecher
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