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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5237-h.zip b/5237-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6d11751 --- /dev/null +++ b/5237-h.zip diff --git a/5237-h/5237-h.htm b/5237-h/5237-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..03a5cb2 --- /dev/null +++ b/5237-h/5237-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,3076 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <title> + The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Volume 4 + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + .figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // +</style> + </head> + <body> + <h2> + THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, Vol. 4 + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 4 +by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 4 + +Author: Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Release Date: October 27, 2006 [EBook #5237] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 4 *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER + </h2> + <h3> + [By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)] + </h3> + <h3> + Dublin + </h3> + <h3> + MDCCCXXXIX. + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Volume 4. + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> <img alt="bookcover.jpg (95K)" src="images/bookcover.jpg" + height="986" width="650" /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <img alt="spine.jpg (51K)" + src="images/spine.jpg" height="1207" width="650" /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> + <img alt="titlepage.jpg (48K)" src="images/titlepage.jpg" height="1141" + width="601" /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> [Note: Though the title page has no + author's name inscribed,<br /> this work is generally attributed to Charles + James Lever.] <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="The_Inn_at_Munich" id="The_Inn_at_Munich">The Inn at Munich</a> + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a href="images2/00aTheInnatMunich.jpg"><img + alt="00a The Inn at Munich (96K)" + src="images/00aTheInnatMunich.jpg" height="1179" width="693" /></a> + <br /> Click on this or any of the following images<br /> to view the + engraving in black and white detail. <br /><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <table summary=""> + <tr> + <td> + <b> "We talked of pipe-clay regulation caps—<br /> + Long twenty-fours—short culverins and mortars—<br /> + Condemn'd the 'Horse Guards' for a set of raps,<br /> + And cursed our fate at being in such quarters.<br /> Some smoked, some + sighed, and some were heard to snore;<br /> Some + wished themselves five fathoms 'neat the Solway;<br /> And some did + pray—who never prayed before—<br /> That + they might get the 'route' for Cork or Galway."<br /> </b> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /> + </p> + + + <h3> + CONTENTS + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <table summary=""> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#ch24">CHAPTER XXIV</a> <br /> The Gen d'Arme <br /> <br /> <a + href="#ch25">CHAPTER XXV</a> <br /> The Inn at Chantraine <br /> <br /> + <a href="#ch26">CHAPTER XXVI</a> <br /> Mr O'Leary <br /> <br /> <a + href="#ch27">CHAPTER XXVII</a> <br /> Paris <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch28">CHAPTER + XXVIII</a> <br /> Paris <br /> <br /> <br /> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch24" id="ch24"></a>CHAPTER XXIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + THE GEN D'ARME. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I had fortunately sufficient influence upon my fair friends to persuade + them to leave Calais early on the morning following; and two hours before + Kilkee had opened his eyes upon this mortal life, we were far upon the + road to Paris. + </p> + <p> + Having thus far perfectly succeeded in my plot, my spirit rose rapidly, + and I made every exertion to make the road appear short to my + fellow-travellers. This part of France is unfortunately deficient in any + interest from scenery; large undivided tracts of waving cornfields, with a + back-ground of apparently interminable forests, and occasionally, but + rarely, the glimpse of some old time-worn chateau, with its pointed gable + and terraced walk, are nearly all that the eye can detect in the intervals + between the small towns and villages. Nothing, however, is "flat or + unprofitable" to those who desire to make it otherwise; good health, good + spirits, and fine weather, are wonderful travelling companions, and render + one tolerably independent of the charms of scenery. Every mile that + separated me from Calais, and took away the chance of being overtaken, + added to my gaiety, and I flatter myself that a happier party have rarely + travelled that well frequented road. + </p> + <p> + We reached Abbeville to dinner, and adjourned to the beautiful little + garden of the inn for our coffee; the evening was so delightful that I + proposed to walk on the Paris road, until the coming up of the carriage, + which required a screw, or a washer, or some such trifle as always occurs + in French posting. To this la chere mamma objected, she being tired, but + added, that Isabella and I might go on, and that she would take us up in + half an hour. This was an arrangement so very agreeable and unlooked for + by me, that I pressed Miss Bingham as far as I well could, and at last + succeeded in overcoming her scruples, and permitting me to shawl her. One + has always a tremendous power of argument with the uninitiated abroad, by + a reference to a standard of manners and habits totally different from our + own. Thus the talismanic words—"Oh! don't be shocked; remember you + are in France," did more to satisfy my young friend's mind than all I + could have said for an hour. Little did she know that in England only, has + an unmarried young lady any liberty, and that the standard of foreign + propriety on this head is far, very far more rigid than our own. + </p> + <p> + "La premiere Rue a gauche," said an old man of whom I inquired the road; + "et puis," added I. + </p> + <p> + "And then quite straight; it is a chaussee all the way, and you cannot + mistake it." + </p> + <p> + "Now for it, mademoiselle," said I. "Let us try if we cannot see a good + deal of the country before the carriage comes up." + </p> + <p> + We had soon left the town behind and reached a beautifully shaded high + road, with blossoming fruit trees, and honeysuckle-covered cottages; there + had been several light showers during the day, and the air had all the + fresh fragrant feeling of an autumn evening, so tranquillizing and calming + that few there are who have not felt at some time or other of their lives, + its influence upon their minds. I fancied my fair companion did so, for, + as she walked beside me, her silence, and the gentle pressure of her arm, + were far more eloquent than words. + </p> + <p> + If that extraordinary flutter and flurry of sensations which will now and + then seize you, when walking upon a lonely country road with a pretty girl + for your companion, whose arm is linked in yours, and whose thoughts, as + far you can guess at least, are travelling the same path with your own—if + this be animal magnetism, or one of its phenomena, then do I swear by + Mesmer, whatever it be, delusion or otherwise, it has given me the + brightest moments of my life—these are the real "winged dreams" of + pleasures which outlive others of more absorbing and actual interest at + the time. After all, for how many of our happiest feelings are we indebted + to the weakness of our nature. The man that is wise at nineteen, "Je l'en + fais mon compliment," but I assuredly do not envy him; and now, even now, + when I number more years than I should like to "confess," rather than + suffer the suspicious watchfulness of age to creep on me, I prefer to "go + on believing," even though every hour of the day should show me, duped and + deceived. While I plead guilty to this impeachment, let me show + mitigation, that it has its enjoyments—first, although I am the most + constant and devoted man breathing, as a very cursory glance at these + confessions may prove, yet I have never been able to restrain myself from + a propensity to make love, merely as a pastime. The gambler that sits down + to play cards, or hazard against himself, may perhaps be the only person + that can comprehend this tendency of mine. We both of us are playing for + nothing (or love, which I suppose is synonymous;) we neither of us put + forth our strength; for that very reason, and in fact like the waiter at + Vauxhall who was complimented upon the dexterity with which he poured out + the lemonade, and confessed that he spent his mornings "practising with + vater," we pass a considerable portion of our lives in a mimic warfare, + which, if it seem unprofitable, is, nevertheless, pleasant. + </p> + <p> + After all this long tirade, need I say how our walk proceeded? We had + fallen into a kind of discussion upon the singular intimacy which had so + rapidly grown up amongst us, and which years long might have failed to + engender. Our attempts to analyse the reasons for, and the nature of the + friendship thus so suddenly established—a rather dangerous and + difficult topic, when the parties are both young—one eminently + handsome, and the other disposed to be most agreeable. Oh, my dear young + friends of either sex, whatever your feelings be for one another, keep + them to yourselves; I know of nothing half so hazardous as that "comparing + of notes" which sometimes happens. Analysis is a beautiful thing in + mathematics or chemistry, but it makes sad havoc when applied to the + "functions of the heart." + </p> + <p> + "Mamma appears to have forgotten us," said Isabella, as she spoke, after + walking for some time in silence beside me. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, depend upon it, the carriage has taken all this time to repair; but + are you tired?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, by no means; the evening is delightful, but—" + </p> + <p> + "Then perhaps you are ennuyee," said I, half pettishly, to provoke a + disclaimer if possible. To this insidiously put quere I received, as I + deserved, no answer, and again we sauntered on without speaking. + </p> + <p> + "To whom does that chateau belong, my old friend?" said I addressing a man + on the road-side. + </p> + <p> + "A Monsieur le Marquis, sir," replied he. + </p> + <p> + "But what's his name, though?" + </p> + <p> + "Ah, that I can't tell you," replied the man again. + </p> + <p> + There you may perceive how, even yet, in provincial France, the old + respect for the aristocracy still survives; it is sufficient that the + possessor of that fine place is "Monsieur le Marquis;" but any other + knowledge of who he is, and what, is superfluous. "How far are we from the + next village, do you know?" + </p> + <p> + "About a league." + </p> + <p> + "Indeed. Why I thought 'La Scarpe' was quite near us." + </p> + <p> + "Ah, you are thinking of the Amiens road." + </p> + <p> + "Yes, of course; and is not this the Amiens road?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, no; the Amiens road lies beyond those low hills to the right. You + passed the turn at the first 'barriere'." + </p> + <p> + "Is it possible we could have come wrong?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, don't say so, I entreat of you." + </p> + <p> + "And what road is this, then, my friend?" + </p> + <p> + "This is the road to Albert and Peronne." + </p> + <p> + "Unfortunately, I believe he is quite right. Is there any crossroad from + the village before us now, to the Amiens road?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes; you can reach it about three leagues hence." + </p> + <p> + "And we can get a carriage at the inn probably?" + </p> + <p> + "Ah, that I am not sure of—. Perhaps at the Lion d'or you may." + </p> + <p> + "But why not go back to Abbeville?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Mrs. Bingham must have left long since, and beside you forget the + distance; we have been walking two hours." + </p> + <p> + "Now for the village," said I, as I drew my friend's arm closer within + mine, and we set out in a fast walk. + </p> + <p> + Isabella seemed terribly frightened at the whole affair; what her mamma + might think, and what might be her fears at not finding us on the road, + and a hundred other encouraging reflections of this nature she poured + forth unceasingly. As for myself, I did not know well what to think of it; + my old fondness for adventure being ever sufficiently strong in me to give + a relish to any thing which bore the least resemblance to one. This I now + concealed, and sympathised with my fair friend upon our mishap, and + assuring her, at the same time, that there could be no doubt of our + overtaking Mrs. Bingham before her arrival at Amiens. + </p> + <p> + "Ah, there is the village in the valley; how beautifully situated." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, I can't admire any thing now, Mr. Lorrequer, I am so frightened." + </p> + <p> + "But surely without cause," said I, looking tenderly beneath her bonnet. + </p> + <p> + "Is this," she answered, "nothing," and we walked on in silence again. + </p> + <p> + On reaching the Lion d'or we discovered that the only conveyance to be had + was a species of open market-cart drawn by two horses, and in which it was + necessary that my fair friend and myself should seat ourselves side by + side upon straw: there was no choice, and as for Miss Bingham, I believe + if an ass with panniers had presented itself, she would have preferred it + to remaining where she was. We therefore took our places, and she could + not refrain from laughing as we set out upon our journey in this absurd + equipage, every jolt of which threw us from side to side, and rendered + every attention on my part requisite to prevent her being upset. + </p> + <p> + After about two hours' travelling we arrived at the Amiens road, and + stopped at the barriere. I immediately inquired if a carriage had passed, + resembling Mrs. Bingham's, and learned that it had, about an hour before, + and that the lady in it had been informed that two persons, like those she + asked after, had been seen in a caleche driving rapidly to Amiens, upon + which she set out as fast as possible in pursuit. + </p> + <p> + "Certainly," said I, "the plot is thickening; but for that unlucky mistake + she might in all probability have waited here for us. Amiens is only two + leagues now, so our drive will not be long, and before six o'clock we + shall all be laughing over the matter as a very good joke." + </p> + <p> + On we rattled, and as the road became less frequented, and the shadows + lengthened, I could not but wonder at the strange situations which the + adventurous character of my life had so often involved me in. Meanwhile, + my fair friend's spirits became more and more depressed, and it was not + without the greatest difficulty I was enabled to support her courage. I + assured her, and not altogether without reason, that though so often in my + eventful career accidents were occurring which rendered it dubious and + difficult to reach the goal I aimed at, yet the results had so often been + more pleasant than I could have anticipated, that I always felt a kind of + involuntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path, setting it + down as some especial means of fortune, to heighten the pleasure awaiting + me; "and now," added I, "even here, perhaps, in this very mistake of our + road—the sentiments I have heard—the feelings I have given + utterance to—" What I was about to say, heaven knows—perhaps + nothing less than a downright proposal was coming; but at that critical + moment a gen-d'arme rode up to the side of our waggon, and surveyed us + with the peculiarly significant scowl his order is gifted with. After + trotting alongside for a few seconds he ordered the driver to halt, and, + turning abruptly to us, demanded our passports. Now our passports were, at + that precise moment, peaceably reposing in the side pocket of Mrs. + Bingham's carriage; I therefore explained to the gen-d'arme how we were + circumstanced, and added, that on arriving at Amiens the passport should + be produced. To this he replied that all might be perfectly true, but he + did not believe a word of it—that he had received an order for the + apprehension of two English persons travelling that road—and that he + should accordingly request our company back to Chantraine, the + commissionaire of which place was his officer. + </p> + <p> + "But why not take us to Amiens," said I; "particularly when I tell you + that we can then show our passports?" + </p> + <p> + "I belong to the Chantraine district," was the laconic answer; and like + the gentleman who could not weep at the sermon because he belonged to + another parish, this specimen of a French Dogberry would not hear reason + except in his own "commune." + </p> + <p> + No arguments which I could think of had any effect upon him, and amid a + volley of entreaty and imprecation, both equally vain, we saw ourselves + turn back upon the road to Amiens, and set out at a round trot to + Chantraine, on the road to Calais. + </p> + <p> + Poor Isabella, I really pitied her; hitherto her courage had been + principally sustained by the prospect of soon reaching Amiens; now there + was no seeing where our adventure was to end. Besides that, actual fatigue + from the wretched conveyance began to distress her, and she was scarcely + able to support herself, though assisted by my arm. What a perilous + position mine, whispering consolation and comfort to a pretty girl on a + lonely road, the only person near being one who comprehended nothing of + the language we spoke in. Ah, how little do we know of fate, and how often + do we despise circumstances that determine all our fortunes in the world. + To think that a gen-d'arme should have any thing to do with my future lot + in life, and that the real want of a passport to travel should involve the + probable want of a licence to marry. Yes, it is quite in keeping, thought + I, with every step I have taken through life. I may be brought before the + "maire" as a culprit, and leave him as a Benedict. + </p> + <p> + On reaching the town, we were not permitted to drive to the inn, but at + once conveyed to the house of the "commissaire," who was also the "maire" + of the district. The worthy functionary was long since in bed, and it was + only after ringing violently for half an hour that a head, surmounted with + a dirty cotton night-cap, peeped from an upper window, and seemed to + survey the assemblage beneath with patient attention. By this time a + considerable crowd had collected from the neighbouring ale-houses and + cabarets, who deemed it a most fitting occasion to honour us with the most + infernal yells and shouts, as indicating their love of justice, and + delight in detecting knavery; and that we were both involved in such + suspicion, we had not long to learn. Meanwhile the poor old maire, who had + been an employe in the stormy days of the revolution, and also under + Napoleon, and who full concurred with Swift that "a crowd is a mob, if + composed even of bishops," firmly believed that the uproar beneath in the + street was the announcement of a new change of affairs at Paris, + determined to be early in the field, and shouted therefore with all his + lungs—"vive le peuple"—"Vive la charte"—"A bas les + autres." A tremendous shout of laughter saluted this exhibition of + unexpected republicanism, and the poor maire retired from the window, + having learned his mistake, covered with shame and confusion. + </p> + <p> + Before the mirth caused by this blunder had subsided, the door had opened, + and we were ushered into the bureau of the commissaire, accompanied by the + anxious crowd, all curious to know the particulars of our crime. + </p> + <p> + The maire soon appeared, his night-cap being replaced by a small black + velvet skull-cap, and his lanky figure enveloped in a tarnished silk + dressing-gown; he permitted us to be seated, while the gen-d'arme + recounted the suspicious circumstances of our travelling, and produced the + order to arrest an Englishman and his wife who had arrived in one of the + late Boulogne packets, and who had carried off from some banking-house + money and bills for a large amount. + </p> + <p> + "I have no doubt these are the people," said the gen-d'arme; "and here is + the 'carte descriptive.' Let us compare it—'Forty-two or forty-three + years of age.'" + </p> + <p> + "I trust, M. le Maire," said I, overhearing this, "that ladies do not + recognize me as so much." + </p> + <p> + "Of a pale and cadaverous aspect," continued the gen-d'arme. + </p> + <p> + Upon this the old functionary, wiping his spectacles with a snuffy + handkerchief, as if preparing them to examine an eclipse of the sun, + regarded me fixedly for several minutes, and said—"Oh, yes, I + perceive it plainly; continue the description." + </p> + <p> + "Five feet three inches," said the gen-d'arme. + </p> + <p> + "Six feet one in England, whatever this climate may have done since." + </p> + <p> + "Speaks broken and bad French." + </p> + <p> + "Like a native," said I; "at least so said my friends in the chaussee + D'Antin, in the year fifteen." + </p> + <p> + Here the catalogue ended, and a short conference between the maire and the + gen-d'arme ensued, which ended in our being committed for examination on + the morrow; meanwhile we were to remain at the inn, under the surveillance + of the gen-d'arme. + </p> + <p> + On reaching the inn my poor friend was so completely exhausted that she at + once retired to her room, and I proceeded to fulfil a promise I had made + her to despatch a note to Mrs. Bingham at Amiens by a special messenger, + acquainting her with all our mishaps, and requesting her to come or send + to our assistance. This done, and a good supper smoking before me, of + which with difficulty I persuaded Isabella to partake in her own room, I + again regained my equanimity, and felt once more at ease. + </p> + <p> + The gen-d'arme in whose guardianship I had been left was a fine specimen + of his caste; a large and powerfully built man of about fifty, with an + enormous beard of grizzly brown and grey hair, meeting above and beneath + his nether lip; his eyebrows were heavy and beetling, and nearly concealed + his sharp grey eyes, while a deep sabre-wound had left upon his cheek a + long white scar, giving a most warlike and ferocious look to his features. + </p> + <p> + As he sat apart from me for some time, silent and motionless, I could not + help imagining in how many a hard-fought day he had borne a part, for he + evidently, from his age and bearing, had been one of the soldiers of the + empire. I invited him to partake of my bottle of Medoc, by which he seemed + flattered. When the flask became low, and was replaced by another, he + appeared to have lost much of his constrained air, and seemed forgetting + rapidly the suspicious circumstances which he supposed attached to me—waxed + wondrous confidential and communicative, and condescended to impart some + traits of a life which was not without its vicissitudes, for he had been, + as I suspected, one of the "Guarde"—the old guarde—was wounded + at Marengo, and received the croix d'honneur in the field of Wagram, from + the hands of the Emperor himself. The headlong enthusiasm of attachment to + Napoleon, which his brief and stormy career elicited even from those who + suffered long and deeply in his behalf, is not one of the least singular + circumstances which this portion of history displays. While the rigours of + the conscription had invaded every family in France, from Normandie to La + Vendee—while the untilled fields, the ruined granaries, the + half-deserted villages, all attested the depopulation of the land, those + talismanic words, "l'Empereur et la gloire," by some magic mechanism + seemed all-sufficient not only to repress regret and suffering, but even + stimulate pride, and nourish valour; and even yet, when it might be + supposed that like the brilliant glass of a magic lantern, the gaudy + pageant had passed away, leaving only the darkness and desolation behind + it—the memory of those days under the empire survives untarnished + and unimpaired, and every sacrifice of friends or fortune is accounted but + little in the balance when the honour of La Belle France, and the triumphs + of the grand "armee," are weighted against them. The infatuated and + enthusiastic followers of this great man would seem, in some respects, to + resemble the drunkard in the "Vaudeville," who alleged as his excuse for + drinking, that whenever he was sober his poverty disgusted him. "My + cabin," said he, "is a cell, my wife a mass of old rags, my child a + wretched object of misery and malady. But give me brandy; let me only have + that, and then my hut is a palace, my wife is a princess, and my child the + very picture of health and happiness;" so with these people—intoxicated + with the triumphs of their nation, "tete monte" with victory—they + cannot exist in the horror of sobriety which peace necessarily enforces; + and whenever the subject turns in conversation upon the distresses of the + time or the evil prospects of the country, they call out, not like the + drunkard, for brandy, but in the same spirit they say—"Ah, if you + would again see France flourishing and happy, let us once more have our + croix d'honneur, our epaulettes, our voluntary contributions, our + Murillos, our Velasquez, our spoils from Venice, and our increased + territories to rule over." This is the language of the Buonapartiste every + where, and at all seasons; and the mass of the nation is wonderfully + disposed to participate in the sentiment. The empire was the Aeneid of the + nation, and Napoleon the only hero they now believe in. You may satisfy + yourself of this easily. Every cafe will give evidence of it, every + society bears its testimony to it, and even the most wretched Vaudeville, + however, trivial the interest —however meagre the story, and poor + the diction, let the emperor but have his "role"—let him be as + laconic as possible, carry his hands behind his back, wear the well-known + low cocked-hat, and the "redingote gris"—the success is certain—every + sentence he utters is applauded, and not a single allusion to the + Pyramids, the sun of Austerlitz, l'honneur, et al vieille garde, but is + sure to bring down thunders of acclamation. But I am forgetting myself, + and perhaps my reader too; the conversation of the old gen-d'arme + accidentally led me into reflections like these, and he was well + calculated, in many ways, to call them forth. His devoted attachment—his + personal love of the emperor—of which he gave me some touching + instances, was admirably illustrated by an incident, which I am inclined + to tell, and hope it may amuse the reader as much as it did myself on + hearing it. + </p> + <p> + When Napoleon had taken possession of the papal dominions, as he virtually + did, and carried off the pope, Pius VI, to Paris, this old soldier, then a + musketeer in the garde, formed part of the company that mounted guard over + the holy father. During the earlier months of the holy father's + confinement he was at liberty to leave his apartments at any hour he + pleased, and cross the court-yard of the palace to the chapel where he + performed mass. At such moments the portion of the Imperial Guard then on + duty stood under arms, and received from the august hand of the pope his + benediction as he passed. But one morning a hasty express arrived from the + Tuilleries, and the officer on duty communicated his instructions to his + party, that the apostolic vicar was not to be permitted to pass, as + heretofore, to the chapel, and that a most rigid superintendence was to be + exercised over his movements. My poor companion had his turn for duty on + that ill-starred day; he had not been long at his post when the sound of + footsteps was heard approaching, and he soon saw the procession which + always attended the holy father to his devotions, advancing towards him; + he immediately placed himself across the passage, and with his musket in + rest barred the exit, declaring, at the same time, that such were his + orders. In vain the priests who formed the cortege addressed themselves to + his heart, and spoke to his feelings, and at last finding little success + by these methods, explained to him the mortal sin and crime for which + eternal damnation itself might not be a too heavy retribution if he + persisted in preventing his holiness to pass, and thus be the means of + opposing an obstacle to the head of the whole Catholic church, for + celebrating the mass; the soldier remained firm and unmoved, the only + answer he returned being, "that he had his orders, and dared not disobey + them." The pope, however, persisted in his resolution, and endeavoured to + get by, when the hardy veteran retreated a step, and placing his musket + and bayonet at the charge, called out "au nom de l'Empereur," when the + pious party at last yielded and slowly retired within the palace. + </p> + <p> + Not many days after, this severe restriction was recalled, and once more + the father was permitted to go to and from the chapel of the palace, at + such times as he pleased, and again, as before, in passing the corridor, + the guards presented arms and received the holy benediction, all except + one; upon him the head of the church frowned severely, and turned his + back, while extending his pious hands towards the others. "And yet," said + the poor fellow in concluding his story, "and yet I could not have done + otherwise; I had my orders and must have followed them, and had the + emperor commanded it, I should have run my bayonet through the body of the + holy father himself. + </p> + <p> + "Thus, you see, my dear sir, how I have loved the emperor, for I have many + a day stood under fire for him in this world, 'et il faut que j'aille + encore au feu pour lui apres ma mort.'." + </p> + <p> + He received in good part the consolations I offered him on this head, but + I plainly saw they did not, could not relieve his mind from the horrible + conviction he lay under, that his soul's safety for ever had been bartered + for his attachment to the emperor. + </p> + <p> + This story had brought us to the end of the third bottle of Medoc; and, as + I was neither the pope, nor had any very decided intentions of saying + mass, he offered no obstacle to my retiring for the night, and betaking + myself to my bed. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch25" id="ch25"></a>CHAPTER XXV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + THE INN AT CHANTRAINE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Lorrequer_as_Postillion" id="Lorrequer_as_Postillion">Lorrequer + as Postillion</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch25LorrequerasPostillion.jpg"> <img + alt="Ch 25 Lorrequer as Postillion.jpg (74K)" + src="images/Ch25LorrequerasPostillion.jpg" height="780" + width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + When contrasted with the comforts of an English bed-room in a good hotel, + how miserably short does the appearance of a French one fall in the + estimation of the tired traveller. In exchange for the carpeted floor, the + well-curtained windows, the richly tapestried bed, the well cushioned + arm-chair, and the innumerable other luxuries which await him; he has + nought but a narrow, uncurtained bed, a bare floor, occasionally a flagged + one, three hard cane-bottomed chairs, and a looking-glass which may convey + an idea of how you would look under the combined influence of the cholera, + and a stroke of apoplexy, one half of your face being twice the length of + the other, and the entire of it of a bluish-green tint—pretty enough + in one of Turner's landscapes, but not at all becoming when applied to the + "human face divine." Let no late arrival from the continent contradict me + here by his late experiences, which a stray twenty pounds and the + railroads—(confound them for the same)—have enabled him to + acquire. I speak of matters before it occurred to all Charing-Cross and + Cheapside to "take the water" between Dover and Calais, and inundate the + world with the wit of the Cider Cellar, and the Hole in the Wall. No! In + the days I write of, the travelled were of another genus, and you might + dine at Very's or have your loge at "Les Italiens," without being dunned + by your tailor at the one, or confronted with your washer-woman at the + other. Perhaps I have written all this in the spite and malice of a man + who feels that his louis-d'or only goes half as far now as heretofore; and + attributes all his diminished enjoyments and restricted luxuries to the + unceasing current of his countrymen, whom fate, and the law of + imprisonment for debt, impel hither. Whether I am so far guilty or not, is + not now the question; suffice it to say, that Harry Lorrequer, for reasons + best known to himself, lives abroad, where he will be most happy to see + any of his old and former friends who take his quarters en route; and in + the words of a bellicose brother of the pen, but in a far different + spirit, he would add, "that any person who feels himself here alluded to, + may learn the author's address at his publishers." "Now let us go back to + our muttons," as Barney Coyle used to say in the Dublin Library formerly—for + Barney was fond of French allusions, which occasionally too he gave in + their own tongue, as once describing an interview with Lord Cloncurry, in + which he broke off suddenly the conference, adding, "I told him I never + could consent to such a proposition, and putting my chateau (chapeau) on + my head, I left the house at once." + </p> + <p> + It was nearly three o'clock in the morning, as accompanied by the waiter, + who, like others of his tribe, had become a kind of somnambulist + ex-officio, I wended my way up one flight of stairs, and down another, + along a narrow corridor, down two steps, through an antechamber, and into + another corridor, to No. 82, my habitation for the night. Why I should + have been so far conducted from the habitable portion of the house I had + spent my evening in, I leave the learned in such matters to explain; as + for me, I have ever remarked it, while asking for a chamber in a large + roomy hotel, the singular pride with which you are ushered up grand + stair-cases, down passages, through corridors, and up narrow back flights, + till the blue sky is seen through the sky-light, to No. 199, "the only + spare bed-room in the house," while the silence and desolation of the + whole establishment would seem to imply far otherwise—the only + evidence of occupation being a pair of dirty Wellingtons at the door of + No. 2. + </p> + <p> + "Well, we have arrived at last," said I, drawing a deep sigh, as I threw + myself upon a ricketty chair, and surveyed rapidly my meagre-looking + apartment. + </p> + <p> + "Yes, this is Monsieur's chamber," said the waiter, with a very peculiar + look, half servile, half droll. "Madame se couche, No. 28." + </p> + <p> + "Very well, good night," said I, closing the door hastily, and not liking + the farther scrutiny of the fellow's eye, as he fastened it on me, as if + to search what precise degree of relationship existed between myself and + my fair friend, whom he had called "Madame" purposely to elicit an + observation from me. "Ten to one though," said I, as I undressed myself, + "but they think she is my wife—how good—but again—ay, it + is very possible, considering we are in France. Numero vingt-huit, quite + far enough from this part of the house I should suppose from my number,—that + old gen-d'arme was a fine fellow—what strong attachment to Napoleon; + and the story of the pope; I hope I may remember that. Isabella, poor girl—this + adventure must really distress her—hope she is not crying over it—what + a devil of a hard bed—and it is not five feet long too—and, + bless my soul, is this all by way of covering; why I shall be perished + here. Oh! I must certainly put all my clothes over me in addition, + unfortunately there is no hearth-rug—well, there is no help for it + now —so let me try to sleep—numero vingt-huit." + </p> + <p> + How long I remained in a kind of uneasy, fitful slumber, I cannot tell; + but I awoke shivering with cold—puzzled to tell where I was, and my + brain addled with the broken fragments of half a dozen dreams, all + mingling and mixing themselves with the unpleasant realities of my + situation. What an infernal contrivance for a bed, thought I, as my head + came thump against the top, while my legs projected far beyond the + foot-rail; the miserable portion of clothing over me at the same time + being only sufficient to temper the night air, which in autumn is + occasionally severe and cutting. This will never do. I must ring the bell + and rouse the house, if only to get a fire, if they don't possess such a + thing as blankets. I immediately rose, and groping my way along the wall + endeavoured to discover the bell, but in vain; and for the same + satisfactory reason that Von Troil did not devote one chapter of his work + on "Iceland" to "snakes," because there were none such there. What was now + to be done? About the geography of my present abode I knew, perhaps, as + much as the public at large know about the Coppermine river and Behring's + straits. The world, it was true, was before me, "where top choose," + admirable things for an epic, but decidedly an unfortunate circumstance + for a very cold gentleman in search of a blanket. Thus thinking, I opened + the door of my chamber, and not in any way resolved how I should proceed, + I stepped forth into the long corridor, which was dark as midnight itself. + </p> + <p> + Tracing my path along the wall, I soon reached a door which I in vain + attempted to open; in another moment I found another and another, each of + which were locked. Thus along the entire corridor I felt my way, making + every effort to discover where any of the people of the house might have + concealed themselves, but without success. What was to be done now? It was + of no use to go back to my late abode, and find it comfortless as I left + it; so I resolved to proceed in my search; by this time I had arrived at + the top of a small flight of stairs, which I remembered having come up, + and which led to another long passage similar to the one I had explored, + but running in a transverse direction, down this I now crept, and reached + the landing, along the wall of which I was guided by my hand, as well for + safety as to discover the architrave of some friendly door, where the + inhabitant might be sufficiently Samaritan to lend some portion of his + bed-clothes; door after door followed in succession along this confounded + passage, which I began to think as long as the gallery of the lower one; + at last, however, just as my heart was sinking within me from + disappointment, the handle of a lock turned, and I found myself inside a + chamber. How was I now to proceed? for if this apartment did not contain + any of the people of the hotel, I had but a sorry excuse for disturbing + the repose of any traveller who might have been more fortunate than myself + in the article of blankets. To go back however, would be absurd, having + already taken so much trouble to find out a room that was inhabited—for + that such was the case, a short, thick snore assured me—so that my + resolve was at once made, to waken the sleeper, and endeavour to interest + him in my destitute situation. I accordingly approached the place where + the nasal sounds seemed to issue from, and soon reached the post of a bed. + I waited for an instant, and then began, + </p> + <p> + "Monsier, voulez vous bien me permettre—" + </p> + <p> + "As to short whist, I never could make it out, so there is an end of it," + said my unknown friend, in a low, husky voice, which, strangely enough, + was not totally unfamiliar to me: but when or how I had heard it before I + could not then think. + </p> + <p> + Well, thought I, he is an Englishman at all events, so I hope his + patriotism may forgive my intrusion, so here goes once more to rouse him, + though he seems a confoundedly heavy sleeper. "I beg your pardon, sir, but + unfortunately in a point like the present, perhaps—" + </p> + <p> + "Well, do you mark the points, and I'll score the rubber," said he. + </p> + <p> + "The devil take the gambling fellow's dreaming," thought I, raising my + voice at the same time. + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps a cold night, sir, may suffice as my apology." + </p> + <p> + "Cold, oh, ay! put a hot poker to it," muttered he; "a hot poker, a little + sugar, and a spice of nutmeg—nothing else—then it's + delicious." + </p> + <p> + "Upon my soul, this is too bad," said I to myself. "Let us see what + shaking will do. Sir, sir, I shall feel obliged by—" + </p> + <p> + "Well there, don't shake me, and I'll tell you where I hid the cigars—they + are under my straw hat in the window." + </p> + <p> + "Well, really," thought I, "if this gentleman's confessions were of an + interesting nature, this might be good fun; but as the night is cold, I + must shorten the 'seance,' so here goes for one effort more. + </p> + <p> + "If, sir, you could kindly spare me even a small portion of your + bed-clothes." + </p> + <p> + "No, thank you, no more wine; but I'll sing with pleasure;" and here the + wretch, in something like the voice of a frog with the quinsy, began, + "'I'd mourn the hopes that leave me.'" + </p> + <p> + "You shall mourn something else for the same reason," said I, as losing + all patience, I seized quilts and blankets by the corner, and with one + vigourous pull wrenched them from the bed, and darted from the room—in + a second I was in the corridor, trailing my spoil behind—which in my + haste I had not time to collect in a bundle. I flew rather than ran along + the passage, reached the stairs, and in another minute had reached the + second gallery, but not before I heard the slam of a door behind me, and + the same instant the footsteps of a person running along the corridor, who + could be no other than my pursuer, effectually aroused by my last appeal + to his charity. I darted along the dark and narrow passage; but soon to my + horror discovered that I must have passed the door of my chamber, for I + had reached the foot of a narrow back stair, which led to the grenier and + the servants' rooms, beneath the roof. To turn now would only have led me + plump in the face of my injured countryman, of whose thew and sinew I was + perfectly ignorant, and did not much like to venture upon. There was + little time for reflection, for he had now reached the top of the stair, + and was evidently listening for some clue to guide him on; stealthily and + silently, and scarcely drawing breath, I mounted the narrow stairs step by + step, but before I had arrived at the landing, he heard the rustle of the + bed-clothes, and again gave chace. There was something in the unrelenting + ardour of his pursuit, which suggested to my mind the idea of a most + uncompromising foe; and as fear added speed to my steps, I dashed along + beneath the low-roofed passage, wondering what chance of escape might yet + present itself. Just at this instant, the hand by which I had guided + myself along the wall, touched the handle of a door—I turned it—it + opened—I drew in my precious bundle, and closing the door + noiselessly, sat down, breathless and still, upon the floor. + </p> + <p> + Scarcely was this, the work of a second, accomplished, when the heavy + tread of my pursuer resounded on the floor. + </p> + <p> + "Upon my conscience it's strange if I haven't you now, my friend," said + he: "you're in a cul de sac here, as they say, if I know any thing of the + house; and faith I'll make a salad of you, when I get you, that's all. + Devil a dirtier trick ever I heard tell of." + </p> + <p> + Need I say that these words had the true smack of an Irish accent, which + circumstance, from whatever cause, did not by any means tend to assuage my + fears in the event of discovery. + </p> + <p> + However, from such a misfortune my good genius now delivered me; for after + traversing the passage to the end, he at last discovered another, which + led by a long flight to the second story, down which he proceeded, venting + at every step his determination for vengeance, and his resolution not to + desist from the pursuit, if it took the entire night for it. + </p> + <p> + "Well now," thought I, "as he will scarcely venture up here again, and as + I may, by leaving this, be only incurring the risk of encountering him, my + best plan is to stay where I am if it be possible." With this intent I + proceeded to explore the apartment, which from its perfect stillness, I + concluded to be unoccupied. After some few minutes groping I reached a low + bed, fortunately empty, and although the touch of the bed-clothes led to + no very favourable augury of its neatness or elegance, there was little + choice at this moment, so I rolled myself up in my recent booty, and + resolved to wait patiently for day-break to regain my apartment. + </p> + <p> + As always happens in such circumstances, sleep came on me unawares—so + at least every one's experience I am sure can testify, that if you are + forced to awake early to start by some morning coach, and that + unfortunately you have not got to bed till late at night, the chances are + ten to one, that you get no sleep whatever, simply because you are + desirous for it; but make up your mind ever so resolutely, that you'll not + sleep, and whether your determination be built on motives of propriety, + duty, convenience, or health, and the chances are just as strong that you + are sound and snoring before ten minutes. + </p> + <p> + How many a man has found it impossible, with every effort of his heart and + brain aiding his good wishes, to sit with unclosed eyes and ears through a + dull sermon in the dog-days; how many an expectant, longing heir has + yielded to the drowsy influence when endeavouring to look contrite under + the severe correction of a lecture on extravagance from his uncle. Who has + not felt the irresistible tendency to "drop off" in the half hour before + dinner at a stupid country-house? I need not catalogue the thousand other + situations in life infinitely more "sleep-compelling" than Morphine; for + myself, my pleasantest and soundest moments of perfect forgetfulness of + this dreary world and all its cares, have been taken in an oaken bench, + seated bolt upright and vis a vis to a lecturer on botany, whose calming + accents, united with the softened light of an autumnal day, piercing its + difficult rays through the narrow and cobwebbed windows, the odour of the + recent plants and flowers aiding and abetting, all combined to steep the + soul in sleep, and you sank by imperceptible and gradual steps into that + state of easy slumber, in which "come no dreams," and the last sounds of + the lecturer's "hypogenous and perigenous" died away, becoming beautifully + less, till your senses sank into rest, the syllables "rigging us, rigging + us," seemed to melt away in the distance and fade from your memory—Peace + be with you, Doctor A. If I owe gratitude any where I have my debt with + you. The very memory I bear of you has saved me no inconsiderable sum in + hop and henbane. Without any assistance from the sciences on the present + occasion, I was soon asleep, and woke not till the cracking of whips, and + trampling of horses' feet on the pavement of the coach-yard apprised me + that the world had risen to its daily labour, and so should I. From the + short survey of my present chamber which I took on waking, I conjectured + it must have been the den of some of the servants of the house upon + occasion—two low truckle-beds of the meanest description lay along + the wall opposite to mine; one of them appeared to have been slept in + during the past night, but by what species of animal the Fates alone can + tell. An old demi-peak saddle, capped and tipped with brass, some rusty + bits, and stray stirrup-irons lay here and there upon the floor; while + upon a species of clothes-rack, attached to a rafter, hung a tarnished + suit of postillion's livery, cap, jacket, leathers, and jack-boots, all + ready for use; and evidently from their arrangement supposed by the owner + to be a rather creditable "turn out." + </p> + <p> + I turned over these singular habiliments with much of the curiosity with + which an antiquary would survey a suit of chain armour; the long + epaulettes of yellow cotton cord, the heavy belt with its brass buckle, + the cumbrous boots, plaited and bound with iron like churns were in rather + a ludicrous contrast to the equipment of our light and jockey-like boys in + nankeen jackets and neat tops, that spin along over our level "macadam." + </p> + <p> + "But," thought I, "it is full time I should get back to No. 82, and make + my appearance below stairs;" though in what part of the building my room + lay, and how I was to reach it without my clothes, I had not the slightest + idea. A blanket is an excessively comfortable article of wearing apparel + when in bed, but as a walking costume is by no means convenient or + appropriate; while to making a sorti en sauvage, however appropriate + during the night, there were many serious objections if done "en plein + jour," and with the whole establishment awake and active; the noise of + mopping, scrubbing, and polishing, which is eternally going forward in a + foreign inn amply testified there was nothing which I could adopt in my + present naked and forlorn condition, save the bizarre and ridiculous dress + of the postillion, and I need not say the thought of so doing presented + nothing agreeable. I looked from the narrow window out upon the tiled + roof, but without any prospect of being heard if I called ever so loudly. + </p> + <p> + The infernal noise of floor-cleansing, assisted by a Norman peasant's + "chanson du pays," the time being well marked by her heavy sabots, gave + even less chance to me within; so that after more than half an hour passed + in weighing difficulties, and canvassing plans, upon donning the blue and + yellow, and setting out for my own room without delay, hoping sincerely, + that with proper precaution, I should be able to reach it unseen and + unobserved. + </p> + <p> + As I laid but little stress upon the figure I should make in my new + habiliments, it did not cause me much mortification to find that the + clothes were considerably too small, the jacket scarcely coming beneath my + arms, and the sleeves being so short that my hands and wrists projected + beyond the cuffs like two enormous claws; the leathers were also limited + in their length, and when drawn up to a proper height, permitted my knees + to be seen beneath, like the short costume of a Spanish Tauridor, but + scarcely as graceful; not wishing to encumber myself in the heavy and + noisy masses of wood, iron, and leather, they call "les bottes forts," I + slipped my feet into my slippers, and stole gently from the room. How I + must have looked at the moment I leave my reader to guess, as with anxious + and stealthy pace I crept along the low gallery that led to the narrow + staircase, down which I proceeded, step by step; but just as I reached the + bottom, perceived a little distance from me, with her back turned towards + me, a short, squat peasant on her knees, belabouring with a brush the well + waxed floor; to pass therefore, unobserved was impossible, so that I did + not hesitate to address her, and endeavour to interest her in my behalf, + and enlist her as my guide. + </p> + <p> + "Bon jour, ma chere," said I in a soft insinuating tone; she did not hear + me, so I repeated, + </p> + <p> + "Bon jour, ma chere, bon jour." + </p> + <p> + Upon this she turned round, and looking fixedly at me for a second, called + out in a thick pathos, "Ah, le bon Dieu! qu'il est drole comme ca, + Francois, savez vous, mais ce n'est pas Francois;" saying which, she + sprang from her kneeling position to her feet, and with a speed that her + shape and sabots seemed little to promise, rushed down the stairs as if + she had seen the devil himself. + </p> + <p> + "Why, what is the matter with the woman?" said I, "surely if I am not + Francois—which God be thanked is true—yet I cannot look so + frightful as all this would imply." I had not much time given me for + consideration now, for before I had well deciphered the number over a door + before me, the loud noise of several voices on the floor beneath attracted + my attention, and the moment after the heavy tramp of feet followed, and + in an instant the gallery was thronged by the men and women of the house—waiters, + hostlers, cooks, scullions, filles de chambre, mingled with gens-d'armes, + peasants, and town's people, all eagerly forcing their way up stairs; yet + all on arriving at the landing-place, seemed disposed to keep at a + respectful distance, and bundling themselves at one end of the corridor, + while I, feelingly alive to the ridiculous appearance I made, occupied the + other—the gravity with which they seemed at first disposed to regard + me soon gave way, and peal after peal of laughter broke out, and young and + old, men and women, even to the most farouche gens-d'armes, all appearing + incapable of controlling the desire for merriment my most singular figure + inspired; and unfortunately this emotion seemed to promise no very speedy + conclusion; for the jokes and witticisms made upon my appearance + threatened to renew the festivities, ad libitum. + </p> + <p> + "Regardez donc ses epaules," said one. + </p> + <p> + "Ah, mon Dieu! Il me fait l'idee d'une grenouille aves ses jambes jaunes," + cried another. + </p> + <p> + "Il vaut son pesant de fromage pour une Vaudeville," said the director of + the strolling theatre of the place. + </p> + <p> + "I'll give seventy francs a week, 'd'appointment,' and 'Scribe' shall + write a piece express for himself, if he'll take it." + </p> + <p> + "May the devil fly away with your grinning baboon faces," said I, as I + rushed up the stairs again, pursued by the mob at full cry; scarcely, + however, had I reached the top step, when the rough hand of the gen-d'arme + seized me by the shoulder, while he said in a low, husky voice, "c'est + inutile, Monsieur, you cannot escape—the thing was well contrived, + it is true; but the gens-d'armes of France are not easily outwitted, and + you could not have long avoided detection, even in that dress." It was my + turn to laugh now, which, to their very great amazement, I did, loud and + long; that I should have thought my present costume could ever have been + the means of screening me from observation, however it might have been + calculated to attract it, was rather too absurd a supposition even for the + mayor of a village to entertain; besides, it only now occurred to me that + I was figuring in the character of a prisoner. The continued peals of + laughing which this mistake on their part elicited from me seemed to + afford but slight pleasure to my captor, who gruffly said— + </p> + <p> + "When you have done amusing yourself, mon ami, perhaps you will do us the + favour to come before the mayor." + </p> + <p> + "Certainly," I replied; "but you will first permit me to resume my own + clothes, I am quite sick of masquerading 'en postillion.'" + </p> + <p> + "Not so fast, my friend," said the suspicious old follower of Fouche—"not + so fast; it is but right the maire should see you in the disguise you + attempted your escape in. It must be especially mentioned in the proces + verbal." + </p> + <p> + "Well, this is becoming too ludicrous," said I. "It need not take five + minutes to satisfy you why, how, and where, I put on these confounded rags—" + </p> + <p> + "Then tell it to the maire, at the Bureau." + </p> + <p> + "But for that purpose it is not necessary I should be conducted through + the streets in broad day, to be laughed at. No, positively, I'll not go. + In my own dress I'll accompany you with pleasure." + </p> + <p> + "Victor, Henri, Guillame," said the gen-d'arme, addressing his companions, + who immediately closed round me. "You see," added he, "there is no use in + resisting." + </p> + <p> + Need I recount my own shame and ineffable disgrace? Alas! it is too, too + true. Harry Lorrequer—whom Stultze entreated to wear his coats, the + ornament of Hyde Park, the last appeal in dress, fashion, and equipage—was + obliged to parade through the mob of a market-town in France, with four + gens-d'armes for his companions, and he himself habited in a mongrel + character—half postillion, half Delaware Indian. The incessant yells + of laughter—the screams of the children, and the outpouring of every + species of sarcasm and ridicule, at my expense, were not all—for, as + I emerged from the porte-chochere I saw Isabella in the window: her eyes + were red with weeping; but no sooner had she beheld me, than she broke out + into a fit of laughter that was audible even in the street. + </p> + <p> + Rage had now taken such a hold upon me, that I forgot my ridiculous + appearance in my thirst for vengeance. I marched on through the grinning + crowd, with the step of a martyr. I suppose my heroic bearing and warlike + deportment must have heightened the drollery of the scene; for the devils + only laughed the more. The bureau of the maire could not contain one-tenth + of the anxious and curious individuals who thronged the entrance, and for + about twenty minutes the whole efforts of the gens-d'armes were little + enough to keep order and maintain silence. At length the maire made his + appearance, and accustomed as he had been for a long life to scenes of an + absurd and extraordinary nature, yet the ridicule of my look and costume + was too much, and he laughed outright. This was of course the signal for + renewed mirth for the crowd, while those without doors, infected by the + example, took up the jest, and I had the pleasure of a short calculation, + a la Babbage, of how many maxillary jaws were at that same moment wagging + at my expense. + </p> + <p> + However, the examination commenced; and I at length obtained an + opportunity of explaining under what circumstances I had left my room, and + how and why I had been induced to don this confounded cause of all my + misery. + </p> + <p> + "This may be very true," said the mayor, "as it is very plausible; if you + have evidence to prove what you have stated—" + </p> + <p> + "If it's evidence only is wanting, Mr. Maire, I'll confirm one part of the + story," said a voice in the crowd, in an accent and tone that assured me + the speaker was the injured proprietor of the stolen blankets. I turned + round hastily to look at my victim, and what was my surprise to recognize + a very old Dublin acquaintance, Mr. Fitzmaurice O'Leary. + </p> + <p> + "Good morning, Mr. Lorrequer," said he; "this is mighty like our ould + practices in College-green; but upon my conscience the maire has the + advantage of Gabbet. It's lucky for you I know his worship, as we'd call + him at home, or this might be a serious business. Nothing would persuade + them that you were not Lucien Buonaparte, or the iron mask, or something + of that sort, if they took it into their heads." + </p> + <p> + Mr. O'Leary was as good as his word. In a species of French, that I'd + venture to say would be perfectly intelligible in Mullingar, he contrived + to explain to the maire that I was neither a runaway nor a swindler, but a + very old friend of his, and consequently sans reproche. The official was + now as profuse of his civilities as he had before been of his suspicions, + and most hospitably pressed us to stay for breakfast. This, for many + reasons, I was obliged to decline—not the least of which was, my + impatience to get out of my present costume. We accordingly procured a + carriage, and I returned to the hotel, screened from the gaze but still + accompanied by the shouts of the mob, who evidently took a most lively + interest in the entire proceeding. + </p> + <p> + I lost no time in changing my costume, and was about to descend to the + saloon, when the master of the house came to inform me that Mrs. Bingham's + courier had arrived with the carriage, and that she expected us at Amiens + as soon as possible. + </p> + <p> + "That is all right. Now, Mr. O'Leary, I must pray you to forgive all the + liberty I have taken with you, and also permit me to defer the explanation + of many circumstances which seem at present strange, till—" + </p> + <p> + "Till sine die, if the story be a long one, my dear sir—there's + nothing I hate so much, except cold punch." + </p> + <p> + "You are going to Paris," said I; "is it not so?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, I'm thinking of it. I was up at Trolhatten, in Norway, three weeks + ago, and I was obliged to leave it hastily, for I've an appointment with a + friend in Geneva." + </p> + <p> + "Then how do you travel?" + </p> + <p> + "On foot, just as you see, except that I've a tobacco bag up stairs, and + an umbrella." + </p> + <p> + "Light equipment, certainly; but you must allow me to give you a set down + as far as Amiens, and also to present you to my friends there." + </p> + <p> + To this Mr. O'Leary made no objection; and as Miss Bingham could not bear + any delay, in her anxiety to join her mother, we set out at once—the + only thing to mar my full enjoyment at the moment being the sight of the + identical vestments I had so lately figured in, bobbing up and down before + my eyes for the whole length of the stage, and leading to innumerable + mischievous allusions from my friend Mr. O'Leary, which were far too much + relished by my fair companion. + </p> + <p> + At twelve we arrived at Amiens, when I presented my friend Mr. O'Leary to + Mrs. Bingham. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch26" id="ch26"></a>CHAPTER XXVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + MR. O'LEARY. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + At the conclusion of my last chapter I was about to introduce to my + reader's acquaintance my friend Mr. O'Leary; and, as he is destined to + occupy some place in the history of these Confessions, I may, perhaps, be + permitted to do so at more length than his intrinsic merit at first sight + might appear to warrant. + </p> + <p> + Mr. O'Leary was, and I am induced to believe is, a particularly short, + fat, greasy-looking gentleman, with a head as free from phrenological + development as a billiard-ball, and a countenance which, in feature and + colour, nearly resembled the face of a cherub, carved in oak, as we see + them in old pulpits. + </p> + <p> + Short as is his stature, his limbs compose the least part of it. His hands + and feet, forming some compensation by their ample proportions, with + short, thick fins, vulgarly called a cobbler's thumb. His voice varying in + cadence from a deep barytone, to a high falsetto, maintains throughout the + distinctive characteristic of a Dublin accent and pronunciation, and he + talks of the "Veel of Ovoca, and a beef-steek," with some price of + intonation. What part of the Island he came originally from, or what may + be his age, are questions I have the most profound ignorance of; I have + heard many anecdotes which would imply his being what the French call + "d'un age mur"—but his own observations are generally limited to + events occurring since the peace of "fifteen." To his personal + attractions, such as they are, he has never been solicitous of + contributing by the meretricious aids of dress. His coat, calculating from + its length of waist, and ample skirt, would fit Bumbo Green, while his + trowsers, being made of some cheap and shrinking material, have gradually + contracted their limits, and look now exactly like knee-breeches, without + the usual buttons at the bottom. + </p> + <p> + These, with the addition of a pair of green spectacles, the glass of one + being absent, and permitting the look-out of a sharp, grey eye, twinkling + with drollery and good humour, form the most palpable of his externals. In + point of character, they who best knew him represented him as the + best-tempered, best-hearted fellow breathing; ever ready to assist a + friend, and always postponing his own plans and his own views, when he had + any, to the wishes and intentions of others. Among the many odd things + about him, was a constant preference to travelling on foot, and a great + passion for living abroad, both of which tastes he gratified, although his + size might seem to offer obstacles to the one, and his total ignorance of + every continental language, would appear to preclude the other; with a + great liking for tobacco, which he smoked all day—a fondness for + whist and malt liquors—his antipathies were few; so that except when + called upon to shave more than once in the week, or wash his hands twice + on the same day, it was difficult to disconcert him. His fortune was very + ample; but although his mode of living was neither very ostentatious nor + costly, he contrived always to spend his income. Such was the gentleman I + now presented to my friends, who, I must confess, appeared strangely + puzzled by his manner and appearance. This feeling, however, soon wore + off; and before he had spent the morning in their company, he had made + more way in their good graces, and gone farther to establish intimacy, + than many a more accomplished person, with an unexceptionable coat and + accurate whisker might have effected in a fortnight. What were his gifts + in this way, I am, alas, most deplorably ignorant of; it was not, heaven + knows, that he possessed any conversational talent—of successful + flattery he knew as much as a negro does of the national debt—and + yet the "bon-hommie" of his character seemed to tell at once; and I never + knew him fail in any one instance to establish an interest for himself + before he had completed the ordinary period of a visit. + </p> + <p> + I think it is Washington Irving who has so admirably depicted the + mortification of a dandy angler, who, with his beaver garnished with brown + hackles, his well-posed rod, polished gaff, and handsome landing-net, with + every thing befitting, spends his long summer day whipping a trout stream + without a rise or even a ripple to reward him, while a ragged urchin, with + a willow wand, and a bent pin, not ten yards distant, is covering the + greensward with myriads of speckled and scaly backs, from one pound weight + to four; so it is in every thing—"the race is not to the swift;" the + elements of success in life, whatever be the object of pursuit, are very, + very different from what we think them at first sight, and so it was with + Mr. O'Leary, and I have more than once witnessed the triumph of his homely + manner and blunt humour over the more polished and well-bred taste of his + competitors for favour; and what might have been the limit to such + success, heaven alone can tell, if it were not that he laboured under a + counter-balancing infirmity, sufficient to have swamped a line-of-battle + ship itself. It was simply this—a most unfortunate propensity to + talk of the wrong place, person, or time, in any society he found himself; + and this taste for the mal apropos, extended so far, that no one ever + ventured into company with him as his friend, without trembling for the + result; but even this, I believe his only fault, resulted from the natural + goodness of his character and intentions; for, believing as he did, in his + honest simplicity, that the arbitrary distinctions of class and rank were + held as cheaply by others as himself, he felt small scruple at recounting + to a duchess a scene in a cabaret, and with as little hesitation would he, + if asked, have sung the "Cruiskeen lawn," or the "Jug of Punch," after + Lablanche had finished the "Al Idea," from Figaro. 'Mauvaise honte,' he + had none; indeed I am not sure that he had any kind of shame whatever, + except possibly when detected with a coat that bore any appearance of + newness, or if overpersuaded to wear gloves, which he ever considered as a + special effeminacy. + </p> + <p> + Such, in a few words, was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, and + how far he insinuated himself into their good graces, let the fact tell, + that on my return to the breakfast-room, after about an hour's absence, I + heard him detailing the particulars of a route they were to take by his + advice, and also learned that he had been offered and had accepted a seat + in their carriage to Paris. + </p> + <p> + "Then I'll do myself the pleasure of joining your party, Mrs. Bingham," + said he. "Bingham, I think, madam, is your name." + </p> + <p> + "Yes, Sir." + </p> + <p> + "Any relation, may I ask, of a most dear friend of mine, of the same name, + from Currynaslattery, in the county Wexford?" + </p> + <p> + "I am really not aware," said Mrs. Bingham. "My husband's family are, I + believe, many of them from that county." + </p> + <p> + "Ah, what a pleasant fellow was Tom!" said Mr. O'Leary musingly, and with + that peculiar tone which made me tremble, for I knew well that a + reminiscence was coming. "A pleasant fellow indeed." + </p> + <p> + "Is he alive, sir, now?" + </p> + <p> + "I believe so, ma'am; but I hear the climate does not agree with him." + </p> + <p> + "Ah, then, he's abroad! In Italy probably?" + </p> + <p> + "No, ma'am, in Botany Bay. His brother, they say, might have saved him, + but he left poor Tom to his fate, for he was just then paying court to a + Miss Crow, I think, with a large fortune. Oh, Lord, what have I said, it's + always the luck of me!" The latter exclamation was the result of a heavy + saugh upon the floor, Mrs. Bingham having fallen in a faint—she + being the identical lady alluded to, and her husband the brother of + pleasant Tom Bingham. + </p> + <p> + To hurl Mr. O'Leary out of the room by one hand, and ring the bell with + the other, was the work of a moment; and with proper care, and in due + time, Mrs. Bingham was brought to herself, when most fortunately, she + entirely forgot the cause of her sudden indisposition; and, of course, + neither her daughter nor myself suffered any clue to escape us which might + lead to its discovery. + </p> + <p> + When we were once more upon the road, to efface if it might be necessary + any unpleasant recurrence to the late scene, I proceeded to give Mrs. + Bingham an account of my adventure at Chantraine, in which, of course, I + endeavoured to render my friend O'Leary all the honours of being laughed + at in preference to myself, laying little stress upon my masquerading in + the jack-boots. + </p> + <p> + "You are quite right," said O'Leary, joining in the hearty laugh against + him, "quite right, I was always a very heavy sleeper—indeed if I + wasn't I wouldn't be here now, travelling about en garcon, free as air;" + here he heaved a sigh, which from its incongruity with his jovial look and + happy expression, threw us all into renewed laughter. + </p> + <p> + "But why, Mr. O'Leary—what can your sleepiness have to do with such + tender recollections, for such, I am sure, that sigh bespeaks them?" + </p> + <p> + "Ah! ma'am, it may seem strange, but it is nevertheless true, if it were + not for that unfortunate tendency, I should now be the happy possessor of + a most accomplished and amiable lady, and eight hundred per annum three + and a half per cent. stock." + </p> + <p> + "You overslept yourself on the wedding-day, I suppose." + </p> + <p> + "You shall hear, ma'am, the story is a very short one: It is now about + eight years ago, I was rambling through the south of France, and had just + reached Lyons, where the confounded pavement, that sticks up like pears, + with the point upwards, had compelled me to rest some days and recruit; + for this purpose I installed myself in the pension of Madame Gourgead, Rue + de Petits Carmes, a quiet house—where we dined at twelve, ten in + number, upon about two pounds of stewed beef, with garlic and carrots—a + light soup, being the water which accompanied the same to render it tender + in stewing—some preserved cherries, and an omelette, with a pint + bottle of Beaune, 6me qualite, I believe—a species of pyroligneous + wine made from the vine stalks, but pleasant in summer with your salad; + then we played dominos in the evening, or whist for sous points, leading + altogether a very quiet and virtuous existence, or as Madame herself + expressed it, 'une vie tout-a-fait patriarchale;' of this I cannot myself + affirm how far she was right in supposing the patriarchs did exactly like + us. But to proceed, in the same establishment there lived a widow whose + late husband had been a wine merchant at Dijon—he had also, I + suppose from residing in that country, been imitating the patriarchs, for + he died one day. Well, the lady was delayed at Lyons for some law + business, and thus it came about, that her husband's testament and the + sharp paving stones in the streets determined we should be acquainted. I + cannot express to you the delight of my fair countrywoman at finding that + a person who spoke English had arrived at the 'pension'—a feeling I + myself somewhat participated in; for to say truth, I was not at that time + a very great proficient in French. We soon became intimate, in less time + probably than it could otherwise have happened, for from the ignorance of + all the others of one word of English, I was enabled during dinner to say + many soft and tender things, which one does not usually venture on in + company. + </p> + <p> + "I recounted my travels, and told various adventures of my wanderings, + till at last, from being merely amused, I found that my fair friend began + to be interested in my narratives; and frequently when passing the + bouillon to her, I have seen a tear in the corner of her eye: in a word, + 'she loved me for the dangers I had passed,' as Othello says. Well, laugh + away if you like, but it's truth I am telling you." At this part of Mr. + O'Leary's story we all found it impossible to withstand the ludicrous mock + heroic of his face and tone, and laughed loud and long. When we at length + became silent he resumed—"Before three weeks had passed over, I had + proposed and was accepted, just your own way, Mr. Lorrequer, taking the + ball at the hop, the very same way you did at Cheltenham, the time the + lady jilted you, and ran off with your friend Mr. Waller; I read it all in + the news, though I was then in Norway fishing." Here there was another + interruption by a laugh, not, however, at Mr. O'Leary's expense. I gave + him a most menacing look, while he continued—"the settlements were + soon drawn up, and consisted, like all great diplomatic documents, of a + series of 'gains and compensations;' thus, she was not to taste any thing + stronger than kirsch wasser, or Nantz brandy; and I limited myself to a + pound of short-cut weekly, and so on: but to proceed, the lady being a + good Catholic, insisted upon being married by a priest of her own + persuasion, before the performance of the ceremony at the British embassy + in Paris; to this I could offer no objection, and we were accordingly + united in the holy bonds the same morning, after signing the law papers." + </p> + <p> + "Then, Mr. O'Leary, you are really a married man." + </p> + <p> + "That's the very point I'm coming to, ma'am; for I've consulted all the + jurists upon the subject, and they never can agree. But you shall hear. I + despatched a polite note to Bishop Luscombe, and made every arrangement + for the approaching ceremony, took a quartier in the Rue Helder, near the + Estaminet, and looked forward with anxiety for the day which was to make + my happy; for our marriage in Lyons was only a kind of betrothal. Now, my + fair friend had but one difficulty remaining, poor dear soul—I + refrain from mentioning her name for delicacy sake; but poor dear Mrs. Ram + could not bear the notion of our going up to Paris in the same conveyance, + for long as she had lived abroad, she had avoided every thing French, even + the language, so she proposed that I should go in the early 'Diligence,' + which starts at four-o'clock in the morning, while she took her departure + at nine; thus I should be some hours sooner in Paris, and ready to receive + her on her arriving; besides sparing her bashfulness all reproach of our + travelling together. It was no use my telling her that I always travelled + on foot, and hated a 'Diligence;' she coolly replied that at our time of + life we could not spare the time necessary for a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, + for so she supposed the journey from Lyons to Paris to be; so fearing lest + any doubt might be thrown upon the ardour of my attachment, I yielded at + once, remembering at the moment what my poor friend Tom Bing—Oh + Lord, I'm at it again!" + </p> + <p> + "Sir, I did not hear." + </p> + <p> + "Nothing, ma'am, I was just going to observe, that ladies of a certain + time of life, and widows especially, like a lover that seems a little + ardent or so, all the better." Here Mrs. Bingham blushed, her daughter + bridled, and I nearly suffocated with shame and suppressed laughter. + </p> + <p> + "After a most tender farewell of my bride or wife, I don't know which, I + retired for the night with a mind vacillating between my hopes of + happiness and my fears for the result of a journey so foreign to all my + habits of travelling, and in which I could not but tremble at the many + casualties my habitual laziness and dislike to any hours but of my own + choosing might involve me in. + </p> + <p> + "I had scarcely lain down in bed, ere these thoughts took such possession + of me, that sleep for once in my life was out of the question; and then + the misery of getting up at four in the morning—putting on your + clothes by the flickering light of the porter's candle—getting your + boots on the wrong feet, and all that kind of annoyance—I am sure I + fretted myself into the feeling of a downright martyr before an hour was + over. Well at least, thought I, one thing is well done,—I have been + quite right in coming to sleep here at the Messagerie Hotel, where the + diligence starts from, or the chances are ten to one that I never should + wake till the time was past. Now, however, they are sure to call me; so I + may sleep tranquilly till then. Meanwhile I had forgotten to pack my trunk—my + papers, laying all about the room in a state of considerable confusion. I + rose at once with all the despatch I could muster; this took a long time + to effect, and it was nearly two o'clock ere I finished, and sat down to + smoke a solitary pipe,—the last, as I supposed it might be my lot to + enjoy for heaven knows how long, Mrs. R. having expressed, rather late in + our intimacy I confess, strong opinions against tobacco within doors. + </p> + <p> + "When I had finished my little sac of the 'weed,' the clock struck three, + and I started to think how little time I was destined to have in bed. In + bed! why, said I, there is no use thinking of it now, for I shall scarcely + have lain down ere I shall be obliged to get up again. So thinking, I set + about dressing myself for the road; and by the time I had enveloped myself + in a pair of long Hungarian gaiters, and a kurtcha of sheep's wool, with a + brown bear-skin outside, with a Welsh wig, and a pair of large dark glass + goggles to defend the eyes from the snow, I was not only perfectly + impervious to all effects of the weather, but so thoroughly defended from + any influence of sight or sound, that a volcano might be hissing and + thundering within ten yards of me, without attracting my slightest + attention. Now, I thought, instead of remaining here, I'll just step down + to the coach, and get snugly in the diligence, and having secured the + corner of the coupe, resign myself to sleep with the certainty of not + being left behind, and, probably, too, be some miles on my journey before + awaking. + </p> + <p> + "I accordingly went down stairs, and to my surprise found, even at that + early hour, that many of the garcons of the house were stirring and + bustling about, getting all the luggage up in the huge wooden leviathan + that was to convey us on our road. There they stood, like bees around a + hive, clustering and buzzing, and all so engaged that with difficulty + could I get an answer to my question of, What diligence it was? 'La + diligence pour Paris, Monsieur.' + </p> + <p> + "'Ah, all right then,' said I; so watching an opportunity to do so + unobserved, for I supposed they might have laughed at me, I stepped + quietly into the coupe; and amid the creaking of cordage, and the thumping + of feet on the roof, fell as sound asleep as ever I did in my life—these + sounds coming to my muffled ears, soft as the echoes on the Rhine. When it + was that I awoke I cannot say; but as I rubbed my eyes and yawned after a + most refreshing sleep, I perceived that it was still quite dark all + around, and that the diligence was standing before the door of some inn + and not moving. Ah, thought I, this is the first stage; how naturally one + always wakes at the change of horses,—a kind of instinct implanted + by Providence, I suppose, to direct us to a little refreshment on the + road. With these pious feelings I let down the glass, and called out to + the garcon for a glass of brandy and a cigar. While he was bringing them, + I had time to look about, and perceived, to my very great delight, that I + had the whole coupe to myself. 'Are there any passengers coming in here?' + said I, as the waiter came forward with my petit verre. 'I should think + not, sir,' said the fellow with a leer. 'Then I shall have the whole coupe + to myself?' said I. 'Monsieur need have no fear of being disturbed; I can + safely assure him that he will have no one there for the next twenty-four + hours.' This was really pleasant intelligence; so I chucked him a ten sous + piece, and closing up the window as the morning was cold, once more lay + back to sleep with a success that has never failed me. It was to a bright + blue cloudless sky, and the sharp clear air of a fine day in winter, that + I at length opened my eyes. I pulled out my watch, and discovered it was + exactly two o'clock; I next lowered the glass and looked about me, and + very much to my surprise discovered that the diligence was not moving, but + standing very peaceably in a very crowded congregation of other similar + and dissimilar conveyances, all of which seemed, I thought, to labour + under some physical ailment, some wanting a box, others a body, , and in + fact suggesting the idea of an infirmary for old and disabled carriages of + either sex, mails and others. 'Oh, I have it,' cried I, 'we are arrived at + Mt. Geran, and they are all at dinner, and from my being alone in the + coupe, they have forgotten to call me.' I immediately opened the door and + stepped out into the innyard, crowded with conducteurs, grooms, and + ostlers, who, I thought, looked rather surprised at seeing me emerge from + the diligence. + </p> + <p> + "'You did not know I was there,' said I, with a knowing wink at one of + them as I passed. + </p> + <p> + "'Assurement non,' said the fellow with a laugh, that was the signal for + all the others to join in it. 'Is the table d'hote over?' said I, + regardless of the mirth around me. 'Monsieur is just in time,' said the + waiter, who happened to pass with a soup-tureen in his hand. 'Have the + goodness to step this way.' I had barely time to remark the close + resemblance of the waiter to the fellow who presented me with my brandy + and cigar in the morning, when he ushered me into a large room with about + forty persons sitting at a long table, evidently waiting with impatience + for the 'Potage' to begin their dinner. Whether it was they enjoyed the + joke of having neglected to call me, or that they were laughing at my + travelling costume, I cannot say, but the moment I came in, I could + perceive a general titter run through the assembly. 'Not too late, after + all, gentlemen,' said I, marching gravely up the table. + </p> + <p> + "'Monsieur is in excellent time,' said the host, making room for me beside + his chair. Notwithstanding the incumbrance of my weighty habiliments, I + proceeded to do ample justice to the viands before me, apologizing + laughingly to the host, by pleading a traveller's appetite. + </p> + <p> + "'Then you have perhaps come far this morning,' said a gentleman opposite. + </p> + <p> + "'Yes,' said I, 'I have been on the road since four o'clock.' + </p> + <p> + "'And how are the roads?' said another. 'Very bad,' said I, 'the first few + stages from Lyons, afterwards much better.' This was said at a venture, as + I began to be ashamed of being always asleep before my fellow-travellers. + They did not seem, however, to understand me perfectly; and one old fellow + putting down his spectacles from his forehead, leaned over and said: 'And + where, may I ask, has Monsieur come from this morning?' + </p> + <p> + "'From Lyons,' said I, with the proud air of a man who has done a stout + feat, and is not ashamed of the exploit. + </p> + <p> + "'From Lyons!' said one. 'From Lyons!' cried another. 'From Lyons!' + repeated a third. + </p> + <p> + "'Yes,' said I; 'what the devil is so strange in it; travelling is so + quick now-a-days, one thinks nothing of twenty leagues before dinner.' + </p> + <p> + "The infernal shout of laughing that followed my explanation is still in + my ears; from one end of the table to the other there was one continued + ha, ha, ha—from the greasy host to the little hunchbacked waiter, + they were all grinning away. + </p> + <p> + "'And how did Monsieur travel?' said the old gentleman, who seemed to + carry on the prosecution against me. + </p> + <p> + "'By the diligence, the "Aigle noir,"' said I, giving the name with some + pride, that I was not altogether ignorant of the conveyance. + </p> + <p> + "'The you should certainly not complain of the roads,' said the host + chuckling; 'for the only journey that diligence has made this day has been + from the street-door to the inn-yard; for as they found when the luggage + was nearly packed that the axle was almost broken through, they wheeled it + round to the court, and prepared another for the travellers.' + </p> + <p> + "'And where am I now?' said I. + </p> + <p> + "'In Lyons,' said twenty voices, half choked with laughter at my question. + </p> + <p> + "I was thunderstruck at the news at first; but as I proceeded with my + dinner, I joined in the mirth of the party, which certainly was not + diminished on my telling them the object of my intended journey. + </p> + <p> + "'I think, young man,' said the old fellow with the spectacles, 'that you + should take the occurrence as a warning of Providence that marriage will + not suit you.' I began to be of the same opinion;—but then there was + the jointure. To be sure, I was to give up tobacco; and perhaps I should + not be as free to ramble about as when en garcon. So taking all things + into consideration, I ordered in another bottle of burgundy, to drink Mrs. + Ram's health—got my passport vised for Barege—and set out for + the Pyrenees the same evening." + </p> + <p> + "And have you never heard any thing more of the lady?" said Mrs. Bingham. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, yes. She was faithful to the last; for I found out when at Rome last + winter that she had offered a reward for me in the newspapers, and indeed + had commenced a regular pursuit of me through the whole continent. And to + tell the real fact, I should not now fancy turning my steps towards Paris, + if I had not very tolerable information that she is in full cry after me + through the Wengen Alps, I having contrived a paragraph in Galignani, to + seduce her thither, and where, with the blessing of Providence, if the + snow set in early, she must pass the winter." + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch27" id="ch27"></a>CHAPTER XXVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + PARIS. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Mr._O_Leary_Creating_a_Sensation_at_the_Salon_des_Etranges" + id="Mr._O_Leary_Creating_a_Sensation_at_the_Salon_des_Etranges"> Mr. + O'Leary Creating a Sensation at the Salon des Etranges</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch27MrOLearyCreatingSensation.jpg"> <img + alt="Ch 27 Mr O'Leary Creating Sensation.jpg (70K)" + src="images/Ch27MrOLearyCreatingSensation.jpg" height="780" + width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Nothing more worthy of recording occurred before our arrival at Meurice on + the third day of our journey. My friend O'Leary had, with his usual good + fortune, become indispensable to his new acquaintance, and it was not + altogether without some little lurking discontent that I perceived how + much less often my services were called in request since his having joined + our party; his information, notwithstanding its very scanty extent, was + continually relied upon, and his very imperfect French everlastingly + called into requisition to interpret a question for the ladies. Yes, + thought I, "Othello's occupation's gone;" one of two things has certainly + happened, either Mrs. Bingham and her daughter have noticed my continued + abstraction of mind, and have attributed it to the real cause, the + pre-occupation of my affections; or thinking, on the other hand, that I am + desperately in love with one or other of them, have thought that a little + show of preference to Mr. O'Leary may stimulate me to a proposal at once. + In either case I resolved to lose no time in taking my leave, which there + could be no difficulty in doing now, as the ladies had reached their + intended destination, and had numerous friends in Paris to advise and + assist them; besides that I had too long neglected the real object of my + trip, and should lose no time in finding out the Callonbys, and at once + learn what prospect of success awaited me in that quarter. Leaving my fair + friends then to refresh themselves after the journey, and consigning Mr. + O'Leary to the enjoyment of his meershaum, through the aid of which he had + rendered his apartment like a Dutch swamp in autumn, the only portion of + his own figure visible through the mist being his short legs and heavy + shoes. + </p> + <p> + On reaching the house in the Rue de la Paix, where the Callonbys had + resided, I learned that they were still at Baden, and were not expected in + Paris for some weeks; that Lord Kilkee had arrived that morning, and was + then dining at the Embassy, having left an invitation for me to dine with + him on the following day, if I happened to call. As I turned from the + door, uncertain whither to turn my steps, I walked on unconsciously + towards the Boulevard, and occupied as I was, thinking over all the + chances before me, did not perceive where I stood till the bright glare of + a large gas lamp over my head apprised me that I was at the door of the + well known Salon des Etrangers, at the corner of the Rue Richelieu; + carriages, citadines, and vigilantes were crowding, crashing, and + clattering on all sides, as the host of fashion and the gaming-table were + hastening to their champ de bataille. Not being a member of the Salon, and + having little disposition to enter, if I had been, I stood for some + minutes looking at the crowd as it continued to press on towards the + splendid and brilliantly lighted stairs, which leads from the very street + to the rooms of the palace, for such, in the magnificence and luxury of + its decorations, it really is. As I was on the very eve of turning away, a + large and very handsome cab-horse turned the corner from the balustrade, + with the most perfect appointment of harness and carriage I had seen for a + long time. + </p> + <p> + While I continued to admire the taste and propriety of the equipage, a + young man in deep mourning sprung from the inside and stood upon the + pavement before me. "A deux heures, Charles," said he to his servant, as + the cab turned slowly around. The voice struck me as well known. I waited + till he approached the lamp, to catch a glimpse of the face; and what was + my surprise to recognise my cousin, Guy Lorrequer of the 10th, whom I had + not met with for six years before. My first impulse was not to make myself + known to him. Our mutual position with regard to Lady Jane was so much a + mystery, as regarded myself, that I feared the result of any meeting, + until I was sufficiently aware of how matters stood, and whether we were + to meet as friends and relations, or rivals, and consequently enemies. + </p> + <p> + Before I had time to take my resolution, Guy had recognised me, and + seizing me by the hand with both his, called, "Harry, my old friend, how + are you? how long have you been here, and never to call on me? Why man, + what is the meaning of this?" Before I had time to say that I was only a + few hours in Paris, he again interrupted me by saying: "And how comes it + that you are not in mourning? You must surely have heard it." + </p> + <p> + "Heard what?" I cried, nearly hoarse from agitation. "Our poor old friend, + Sir Guy, didn't you know, is dead." Only those who have felt how strong + the ties of kindred are, as they decrease in number, can tell how this + news fell upon my heart. All my poor uncle's kindnesses came one by one + full upon my memory; his affectionate letters of advice; his well-meant + chidings, too, even dearer to me than his praise and approval, completely + unmanned me; and I stood speechless and powerless before my cousin as he + continued to detail to me the rapid progress of Sir Guy's malady, and + attack of gout in the head, which carried him off in three days. Letters + had been sent to me in different places, but none reached; and at the very + moment the clerk of my uncle's lawyer was in pursuit of me through the + highlands, where some mistaken information had induced him to follow me. + </p> + <p> + "You are, therefore," continued Guy, "unaware that our uncle has dealt so + fairly by you, and indeed by both of us; I have got the Somersetshire + estates, which go with the baronetcy; but the Cumberland property is all + yours; and I heartily wish you joy of having nearly eight thousand per + annum, and one of the sweetest villas that ever man fancied on + Derwentwater. But come along here," continued he, and he led me through + the crowded corridor and up the wide stair. "I have much to tell you, and + we can be perfectly alone here; no one will trouble themselves with us." + Unconscious of all around me, I followed Guy along the gilded and + glittering lobby, which led to the Salon, and it was only as the servant + in rich livery came forward to take my hat and cane that I remembered + where I was. Then the full sense of all I had been listening to rushed + upon me, and the unfitness, and indeed the indecency of the place for such + communications as we were engaged in, came most forcibly before me. Sir + Guy, it is true, had always preferred my cousin to me; he it was who was + always destined to succeed both to his title and his estates, and his + wildness and extravagance had ever met with a milder rebuke and weaker + chastisement than my follies and my misfortunes. Yet still he was my last + remaining relative; the only one I possessed in all the world to whom in + any difficulty or trial I had to look up; and I felt, in the very midst of + my newly acquired wealth and riches, poorer and more alone than ever I had + done in my lifetime. I followed Guy to a small and dimly lighted cabinet + off the great salon, where, having seated ourselves, he proceeded to + detail to me the various events which a few short weeks had accomplished. + Of himself he spoke but little, and never once alluded to the Callonbys at + all; indeed all I could learn was that he had left the army, and purposed + remaining for the winter at Paris, where he appeared to have entered into + all its gaiety and dissipation at once. + </p> + <p> + "Of course," said he, "you will give up 'sodgering' now; at the best it is + but poor sport after five and twenty, and is perfectly unendurable when a + man has the means of pushing himself in the gay world; and now, Harry, let + us mix a little among the mob here; for Messieurs les Banquiers don't hold + people in estimation who come here only for the 'chapons au riz.' and the + champagne glacee, as we should seem to do were we to stay here much + longer." + </p> + <p> + Such was the whirl of my thoughts, and so great the confusion in my ideas + from all I had just heard, that I felt myself implicitly following every + direction of my cousin with a child-like obedience, of the full extent of + which I became only conscious when I found myself seated at the table of + the Salon, between my cousin Guy and an old, hard-visaged, + pale-countenanced man, who he told me in a whisper was Vilelle the + Minister. + </p> + <p> + What a study for the man who would watch the passions and emotions of his + fellow-men, would the table of a rouge et noir gambling-house present—the + skill and dexterity which games of other kinds require, being here + wanting, leave the player free to the full abandonment of the passion. The + interest is not a gradually increasing or vacillating one, as fortune and + knowledge of the game favour; the result is uninfluenced by any thing of + his doing; with the last turned card of the croupier is he rich or ruined; + and thus in the very abstraction of the anxiety is this the most painfully + exciting of all gambling whatever; the very rattle of the dice-box to the + hazard player is a relief; and the thought that he is in some way + instrumental in his good or bad fortune gives a turn to his thoughts. + There is something so like the inevitable character of fate associated + with the result of a chance, which you can in no way affect or avert, that + I have, notwithstanding a strong bias for play, ever dreaded and avoided + the rouge et noir table; hitherto prudential motives had their share in + the resolve; a small loss at play becomes a matter of importance to a sub + in a marching regiment; and therefore I was firm in my determination to + avoid the gambling-table. Now my fortunes were altered; and as I looked at + the heap of shining louis d'or, which Guy pushed before me in exchange for + a billet de banque of large amount, I felt the full importance of my + altered position, mingling with the old and long practised prejudices + which years had been accumulating to fix. There is besides some wonderful + fascination to most men in the very aspect of high play: to pit your + fortune against that of another—to see whether or not your luck + shall not exceed some others—are feelings that have a place in most + bosoms, and are certainly, if not naturally existing, most easily + generated in the bustle and excitement of the gambling-house. The + splendour of the decorations; the rich profusion of gilded ornaments; the + large and gorgeously framed mirrors; the sparkling lustres; mingling their + effect with the perfumed air of the apartment, filled with orange trees + and other aromatic shrubs; the dress of the company, among whom were many + ladies in costumes not inferior to those of a court; the glitter of + diamonds; the sparkle of stars and decorations, rendered more magical by + knowing that the wearers were names in history. There, with his round but + ample shoulder, and large massive head, covered with long snow-white hair, + stands Talleyrand, the maker and unmaker of kings, watching with a look of + ill-concealed anxiety the progress of his game. Here is Soult, with his + dogged look and beetled brow; there stands Balzac the author, his gains + here are less derived from the betting than the bettors; he is evidently + making his own of some of them, while in the seeming bon hommie of his + careless manners and easy abandon, they scruple not to trust him with + anecdotes and traits, that from the crucible of his fiery imagination come + forth, like the purified gold from the furnace. And there, look at that + old and weather-beaten man, with grey eyebrows, and moustaches, who throws + from the breast-pocket of his frock ever and anon, a handful of gold + pieces upon the table; he evidently neither knows nor cares for the + amount, for the banker himself is obliged to count over the stake for him—that + is Blucher, the never-wanting attendant at the Salon; he has been an + immense loser, but plays on with the same stern perseverance with which he + would pour his bold cavalry through a ravine torn by artillery; he stands + by the still waning chance with a courage that never falters. + </p> + <p> + One strong feature of the levelling character of a taste for play has + never ceased to impress me most forcibly—not only do the individual + peculiarities of the man give way before the all-absorbing passion—but + stranger still, the very boldest traits of nationality even fade and + disappear before it; and man seems, under the high-pressure power of this + greatest of all stimulants, resolved into a most abstract state. + </p> + <p> + Among all the traits which distinguish Frenchmen from natives of every + country, none is more prominent than a kind of never-failing elasticity of + temperament, which seems almost to defy all the power of misfortune to + depress. Let what will happen, the Frenchman seems to possess some strong + resource within himself, in his ardent temperament, upon which he can draw + at will; and whether on the day after a defeat, the moment of being + deceived in his strongest hopes of returned affection—the overthrow + of some long-cherished wish—it matters not—he never gives way + entirely; but see him at the gaming-table—watch the intense, the + aching anxiety with which his eye follows every card as it falls from the + hand of the croupier—behold the look of cold despair that tracks his + stake as the banker rakes it in among his gains—and you will at once + perceive that here, at least, his wonted powers fail him. No jest escapes + the lips of one, that would badinet upon the steps of the guillotine. The + mocker who would jeer at the torments of revolution, stands like a coward + quailing before the impassive eye and pale cheek of a croupier. While I + continued to occupy myself by observing the different groups about me, I + had been almost mechanically following the game, placing at each deal some + gold upon the table; the result however had interested me so slightly, + that it was only by remarking the attention my game had excited in others, + that my own was drawn towards it. I then perceived that I had permitted my + winnings to accumulate upon the board, and that in the very deal then + commencing, I had a stake of nearly five hundred pounds upon the deal. + </p> + <p> + "Faites votre jeu, le jeu est fait," said the croupier, "trente deux." + </p> + <p> + "You have lost, by Jove," said Guy, in a low whisper, in which I could + detect some trait of agitation. + </p> + <p> + "Trente et une," added the croupier. "Rouge perd, et couleur." + </p> + <p> + There was a regular buz of wonder through the room at my extraordinary + luck, for thus, with every chance against me, I had won again. + </p> + <p> + As the croupier placed the billets de banque upon the table, I overheard + the muttered commendations of an old veteran behind me, upon the coolness + and judgment of my play; so much for fortune, thought I, my judgment + consists in a perfect ignorance of the chances, and my coolness is merely + a thorough indifference to success; whether it was now that the flattery + had its effect upon me, or that the passion for play, so long dormant, had + suddenly seized hold upon me, I know not, but my attention became from + that moment rivetted upon the game, and I played every deal. Guy, who had + been from the first betting with the indifferent success which I have so + often observed to attend upon the calculations of old and experienced + gamblers, now gave up, and employed himself merely in watching my game. + </p> + <p> + "Harry," said he at last, "I am completely puzzled as to whether you are + merely throwing down your louis at hazard, or are not the deepest player I + have ever met with." + </p> + <p> + "You shall see," said I, as I stooped over towards the banker, and + whispered, "how far is the betting permitted?" + </p> + <p> + "Fifteen thousand francs," said the croupier, with a look of surprise. + </p> + <p> + "Then be it," said I; "quinze mille francs, rouge." + </p> + <p> + In a moment the rouge won, and the second deal I repeated the bet, and so + continuing on with the like success; when I was preparing my rouleau for + the fifth, the banquier rose, and saying— + </p> + <p> + "Messiers, la banque est fermee pour ce soir," proceeded to lock his + casette, and close the table. + </p> + <p> + "You are satisfied now," said Guy, rising, "you see you have broke the + banque, and a very pretty incident to commence with your first + introduction to a campaign in Paris." + </p> + <p> + Having changed my gold for notes, I stuffed them, with an air of + well-affected carelessness, into my pocket, and strolled through the + Salon, where I had now become an object of considerably more interest than + all the marshals and ministers about me. + </p> + <p> + "Now, Hal," said Guy, "I'll just order our supper in the cabinet, and join + you in a moment." + </p> + <p> + As I remained for some minutes awaiting Guy's return, my attention was + drawn towards a crowd, in a smaller salon, among whom the usual silent + decorum of the play-table seemed held in but small respect, for every + instant some burst of hearty laughter, or some open expression of joy or + anger burst forth, by which I immediately perceived that they were the + votaries of the roulette table, a game at which the strict propriety and + etiquette ever maintained at rouge et noir, are never exacted. As I + pressed nearer, to discover the cause of the mirth, which every moment + seemed to augment, guess my surprise to perceive among the foremost rank + of the players, my acquaintance, Mr. O'Leary, whom I at that moment + believed to be solacing himself with his meershaum at Meurice. My + astonishment at how he obtained admission to the Salon was even less than + my fear of his recognising me. At no time is it agreeable to find that the + man who is regarded as the buffo of a party turns out to be your friend, + but still less is this so, when the individual claiming acquaintance with + you presents any striking absurdity in his dress or manner, strongly at + contrast with the persons and things about him; and thus it now happened—Mr. + O'Leary's external man, as we met him on the Calais road, with its various + accompaniments of blouse-cap, spectacles, and tobacco-pipe, were nothing + very outre or remarkable, but when the same figure presented itself among + the elegans of the Parisian world, redolent of eau de Portugal, and superb + in the glories of brocade waistcoats and velvet coats, the thing was too + absurd, and I longed to steal away before any chance should present itself + of a recognition. This, however, was impossible, as the crowd from the + other table were all gathered round us, and I was obliged to stand fast, + and trust that the excitement of the game, in which he appeared to be + thoroughly occupied, might keep his eye fixed on another quarter; I now + observed that the same scene in which I had so lately been occupied at the + rouge et noir table, was enacting here, under rather different + circumstances. Mr. O'Leary was the only player, as I had just been—not, + however, because his success absorbed all the interest of the bystanders, + but that, unfortunately, his constant want of it elicited some strong + expression of discontent and mistrust from him, which excited the loud + laughter of the others; but of which, from his great anxiety in his game, + he seemed totally unconscious. + </p> + <p> + "Faites votre jeu, Messieurs," said the croupier. + </p> + <p> + "Wait a bit till I change this," said Mr. O'Leary, producing an English + sovereign; the action interpreted his wishes, and the money was converted + into coupons de jeu. + </p> + <p> + I now discovered one great cause of the mirth of the bystanders, at least + the English portion of them. Mr. O'Leary, when placing his money upon the + table, observed the singular practice of announcing aloud the amount of + his bet, which, for his own information, he not only reduced to English + but also Irish currency; thus the stillness of the room was every instant + broken by a strong Irish accent pronouncing something of this sort—"five + francs," "four and a penny"—"ten francs," "eight and three + ha'pence." The amusement thus caused was increased by the excitement his + losses threw him into. He now ceased to play for several times, when at + last, he made an offering of his usual stake. + </p> + <p> + "Perd," said the croupier, raking in the piece with a contemptuous air at + the smallness of the bet, and in no way pleased that the interest Mr. + O'Leary excited should prevent the other players from betting. + </p> + <p> + "Perd," said O'Leary, "again. Divil another song you sing than 'perd,' and + I'm not quite clear you're not cheating all the while—only, God help + you if you are!" + </p> + <p> + As he so said, the head of a huge black-thorn stick was half protruded + across the table, causing renewed mirth; for, among other regulations, + every cane, however trifling, is always demanded at the door; and thus a + new subject of astonishment arose as to how he had succeeded in carrying + it with him into the salon. + </p> + <p> + "Here's at you again," said O'Leary, regardless of the laughter, and + covering three or four numbers with his jetons. + </p> + <p> + Round went the ball once more, and once more he lost. + </p> + <p> + "Look now, divil a lie in it, he makes them go wherever he pleases. I'll + take a turn now at the tables; fair play's a jewel—and we'll see how + you'll get on." + </p> + <p> + So saying, he proceeded to insinuate himself into the chair of the + croupier, whom he proposed to supersede by no very gentle means. This was + of course resisted, and as the loud mirth of the bystanders grew more and + more boisterous, the cries of "a la porte, a la porte," from the friends + of the bank, rung through the crowd. + </p> + <p> + "Go it, Pat—go it, Pat," said Guy, over my shoulder, who seemed to + take a prodigious interest in the proceedings. + </p> + <p> + At this unexpected recognition of his nativity, for Mr. O'Leary never + suspected he could be discovered by his accent; he looked across the + table, and caught my eye at once. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, I'm safe now! stand by me, Mr. Lorrequer, and we'll clear the room." + </p> + <p> + So saying, and without any further provocation, he upset the croupier, + chair and all, with one sudden jerk upon the floor, and giving a + tremendous kick to the casette, sent all the five-franc pieces flying over + him; he then jumped upon the table, and brandishing his black-thorn + through the ormolu lustre, scattered the wax-lights on all sides, + accompanying the exploit by a yell that would have called up all Connemara + at midnight, if it had only been heard there; in an instant, the gens + d'armes, always sufficiently near to be called in if required, came + pouring into the room, and supposing the whole affair had been a + preconcerted thing to obtain possession of the money in the bank, + commenced capturing different members of the company who appeared, by + enjoying the confusion, to be favouring and assisting it. My cousin Guy + was one of the first so treated—a proceeding to which he responded + by an appeal rather in favour with most Englishmen, and at once knocked + down the gen d'arme; this was the signal for a general engagement, and + accordingly, before an explanation could possibly be attempted, a most + terrific combat ensued. The Frenchmen in the room siding with the gen + d'armerie, and making common cause against the English; who, although + greatly inferior in number, possessed considerable advantage, from long + habit in street-rows and boxing encounters. As for myself, I had the good + fortune to be pitted against a very pursy and unwieldy Frenchman, who + sacre'd to admiration, but never put in a single blow at me; while, + therefore, I amused myself practising what old Cribb called "the one, + two," upon his fat carcase, I had abundant time and opportunity to watch + all that was doing about me, and truly a more ludicrous affair I never + beheld. Imagine about fifteen or sixteen young Englishmen, most of them + powerful, athletic fellows, driving an indiscriminate mob of about five + times their number before them, who, with courage enough to resist, were + yet so totally ignorant of the boxing art, that they retreated, pell-mell, + before the battering phalanx of their sturdy opponents—the most + ludicrous figure of all being Mr. O'Leary himself, who, standing upon the + table, laid about him with a brass lustre that he had unstrung, and did + considerable mischief with this novel instrument of warfare, crying out + the entire time, "murder every mother's son of them," "give them another + taste of Waterloo." Just as he had uttered the last patriotic sentiment, + he received a slight admonition from behind, by the point of a gen + d'arme's sword, which made him leap from the table with the alacrity of a + harlequin, and come plump down among the thickest of the fray. My + attention was now directed elsewhere, for above all the din and "tapage" + of the encounter I could plainly hear the row-dow-dow of the drums, and + the measured tread of troops approaching, and at once guessed that a + reinforcement of the gen d'armerie were coming up. Behind me there was a + large window, with a heavy scarlet curtain before it; my resolution was at + once taken, I floored my antagonist, whom I had till now treated with the + most merciful forbearance, and immediately sprung behind the curtain. A + second's consideration showed that in the search that must ensue this + would afford no refuge, so I at once opened the sash, and endeavoured to + ascertain at what height I was above the ground beneath me; the night was + so dark that I could see nothing, but judging from the leaves and twigs + that reached to the window, that it was a garden beneath, and auguring + from the perfumed smell of the shrubs, that they could not be tall trees, + I resolved to leap, a resolve I had little time to come to, for the step + of the soldiers was already heard upon the stair. Fixing my hat then down + upon my brows, and buttoning my coat tightly, I let myself down from the + window-stool by my hands, and fell upon my legs in the soft earth of the + garden, safe and unhurt. From the increased clamour and din overhead, I + could learn the affray was at its height, and had little difficulty in + detecting the sonorous accent and wild threats of my friend Mr. O'Leary, + high above all the other sounds around him. I did not wait long, however, + to enjoy them; but at once set about securing my escape from my present + bondage. In this I had little difficulty, for I was directed by a light to + a small door, which, as I approached, found that it led into the den of + the Concierge, and also communicated by another door with the street. I + opened it, therefore, at once, and was in the act of opening the second, + when I felt myself seized by the collar by a strong hand; and on turning + round saw the sturdy figure of the Concierge himself, with a drawn bayonet + within a few inches of my throat, "Tenez, mon ami," said I quietly, and + placing half a dozen louis, some of my recent spoils, in his hand, at once + satisfied him that, even if I were a robber, I was at least one that + understood and respected the conveniences of society. He at once + relinquished his hold and dropped his weapon, and pulling off his cap with + one hand, to draw the cord which opened the Porte Cochere with the other, + bowed me politely to the street. I had scarcely had time to insinuate + myself into the dense mass of people whom the noise and confusion within + had assembled around the house, when the double door of the building + opened, and a file of gens d'armerie came forth, leading between them my + friend Mr. O'Leary and some others of the rioters—among whom I + rejoiced to find my cousin did not figure. If I were to judge from his + disordered habiliments and scarred visage, Mr. O'Leary's resistance to the + constituted authorities must have been a vigorous one, and the drollery of + his appearance was certainly not decreased by his having lost the entire + brim of his hat—the covering of his head bearing, under these + distressing circumstances, a strong resemblance to a saucepan. + </p> + <p> + As I could not at that moment contribute in any way to his rescue, I + determined on the following day to be present at his examination, and + render him all the assistance in my power. Meanwhile, I returned to + Meurice, thinking of every adventure of the evening much more than of my + own changed condition and altered fortunes. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch28" id="ch28"></a>CHAPTER XXVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + PARIS. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + The first thing which met my eye, when waking in the morning, after the + affair at the salon, was the rouleau of billets de banque which I had won + at play; and it took several minutes before I could persuade myself that + the entire recollection of the evening had any more solid foundation than + a heated brain and fevered imagination. The sudden spring, from being a + subaltern in the __th, with a few hundreds per annum—"pour tout + potage," to becoming the veritable proprietor of several thousands, with a + handsome house in Cumberland, was a consideration which I could scarcely + admit into my mind—so fearful was I, that the very first occurrence + of the day should dispel the illusion, and throw me back into the dull + reality which I was hoping to escape from. + </p> + <p> + There is no adage more true than the old Latin one—"that what we + wish, we readily believe;" so, I had little difficulty in convincing + myself that all was as I desired—although, certainly, my confused + memory of the past evening contributed little to that conviction. It was, + then, amid a very whirl of anticipated pleasures, and new schemes for + enjoying life, that I sat down to a breakfast, at which, that I might lose + no time in commencing my race, I had ordered the most recherche viands + which even French cookery can accomplish for the occasion. + </p> + <p> + My plans were soon decided upon. I resolved to remain only long enough in + Paris to provide myself with a comfortable travelling carriage—secure + a good courier—and start for Baden; when I trusted that my + pretensions, whatever favour they might have been once received with, + would certainly now, at least, be listened to with more prospect of being + successful. + </p> + <p> + I opened the Galignani's paper of the day, to direct me in my search, and + had scarcely read a few lines before a paragraph caught my eye, which not + a little amused me; it was headed—Serious riot at the Salon des + Etrangers, and attempt to rob the Bank:— + </p> + <p> + "Last evening, among the persons who presented themselves at the table of + this fashionable resort, were certain individuals, who, by their names and + dress bespoke any thing rather than the rank and condition of those who + usually resort there, and whose admission is still unexplained, + notwithstanding the efforts of the police to unravel the mystery. The + proprietors of the bank did not fail to remark these persons; but + scrupled, from fear of disturbing the propriety of the salon, to take the + necessary steps for their exclusion—reserving their attention to the + adoption of precautions against such intrusion in future—unfortunately, + as it turned out eventually, for, towards eleven o'clock, one of these + individuals, having lost a considerable sum at play, proceeded in a very + violent and outrageous manner to denounce the bank, and went so far as to + accuse the croupier of cheating. This language having failed to excite the + disturbance it was evidently intended to promote, was soon followed up by + a most dreadful personal attack upon the banquier, in which he was thrown + from his seat, and the cassette, containing several thousand francs in + gold and notes, immediately laid hold of. The confusion now became + considerable, and it was apparent, that the whole had been a pre-concerted + scheme. Several persons, leaping upon the table, attempted to extinguish + the great lustre of the salon, in which bold attempt, they were most + spiritedly resisted by some of the other players and the gens-d'arme, who + had by this time arrived in force. The riot was quelled after a prolonged + and desperate resistance, and the rioters, with the exception of two, were + captured, and conveyed to prison, where they await the result of a + judicial investigation—of which we shall not fail to lay the + particulars before our readers. + </p> + <p> + "Since our going to press, we have learned that one of the ringleaders in + this vile scheme is a noted English escroc—a swindler, who was + already arrest at C____ for travelling with a false passport; but who + contrives, by some collusion with another of the gang, to evade the local + authorities. If this be the case, we trust he will speedily be detected + and brought to punishment." + </p> + <p> + Whatever amusement I had found in reading the commencing portion of this + ridiculous misstatement, the allusion in the latter part by no means + afforded me equal pleasure; and I saw, in one rapid glance, how much + annoyance, and how many delays and impediments—a charge even of this + ridiculous nature, might give rise to in my present circumstances. My + passport, however, will settle all—thought I—as I thrust my + hand towards my pocket, in which I had placed it along with some letters. + </p> + <p> + Guess my misery, to discover that the whole of the pocket had been cut + away, probably in the hope of obtaining the billets de banque I had won at + play, but which I had changed from that pocket to a breast one on leaving + the table. This at once led me to suspect that there might be some truth + in the suspicion of the newspaper writer of a pre-concerted scheme, and at + once explained to me what had much puzzled me before—the extreme + rapidity with which the elements of discord were propagated, for the whole + affair was the work of a few seconds. While I continued to meditate on + these matters, the waiter entered with a small note in an envelope, which + a commissionaire had just left at the hotel for me, and went away, saying + there was no answer. I opened it hastily, and read:— + </p> + <blockquote> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Dear H.—The confounded affair of last night has induced me to + leave this for a few days; besides that I have obtained a most + excellent reason for absenting myself in the presence of a black eye, + which will prevent my appearance in public for a week to come. As you + are a stranger here, you need not fear being detected. With all its + desagremens, I can't help laughing at the adventure, and I am heartily + glad to have had the opportunity of displaying old Jackson's science + upon those wretched gens-d'arme. + </p> + <p> + "Your, truly,<br /> "G.L." + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + This, certainly, thought I, improves my position. Here is my cousin Guy + —the only one to whom, in any doubt or difficulty here, I could + refer—here he is—flown, without letting me know where to + address him or find him out. I rung my bell hastily, and having written a + line on my card, requesting Lord Kilkee to come to me as soon as he could, + despatched it to the Rue de la Paix. The messenger soon returned with an + answer, that Lord Kilkee had been obliged to leave Paris late the evening + before, having received some important letters from Baden. My anxiety now + became greater. I did not know but that the moment I ventured to leave the + hotel I should be recognised by some of the witnesses of the evening's + fray; and all thoughts of succouring poor O'Leary were completely + forgotten in my fear for the annoyances the whole of this ridiculous + affair might involve me in. Without any decision as to my future steps, I + dressed myself, and proceeded to pay my respects to Mrs. Bingham and her + daughter, who were in the same hotel, and whom I had not seen since our + arrival. + </p> + <p> + As I entered the drawing-room, I was surprised to find Miss Bingham alone. + She appeared to have been weeping—at least the efforts she made to + appear easy and in good spirits contrasted a good deal with the expression + of her features as I came in. To my inquiries for Mrs. Bingham, I received + for answer that the friends Mrs. Bingham had expected having left a few + days before for Baden, she had resolved on following them, and had now + merely driven out to make a few purchases before her departure, which was + to take place in the morning. + </p> + <p> + There is something so sad in the thought of being deserted and left by + one's friends under any circumstances, that I cannot express how much this + intelligence affected me. It seemed, too, like the last stroke of bad news + filling up the full measure, that I was to be suddenly deprived of the + society of the very few friends about me, just as I stood most in need of + them. + </p> + <p> + Whether or not Miss Bingham noticed my embarrassment, I cannot say; but + certainly she seemed not displeased, and there was in the half-encouraging + tone of her manner something which led me to suspect that she was not + dissatisfied with the impression her news seemed to produce upon me. + </p> + <p> + Without at all alluding to my own improved fortune, or to the events of + the preceding night, I began to talk over the coming journey, and + expressed my sincere regret that, having lost my passport under + circumstances which might create some delay in retrieving it, I could not + join their party as I should otherwise have done. + </p> + <p> + Miss Bingham heard this speech with rather more emotion than so simple a + declaration was calculated to produce; and, while she threw down her eyes + beneath their long dark lashes, and coloured slightly, asked— + </p> + <p> + "And did you really wish to come with us?" + </p> + <p> + "Undoubtedly," said I. + </p> + <p> + "And is there no other objection than the passport?" + </p> + <p> + "None whatever," said I, warming as I spoke, for the interest she appeared + to take in me completely upset all my calculations, besides that I had + never seen her looking so handsome, and that, as the French wisely remark, + "vaut toujours quelque chose." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, then, pray come with us, which you can do, for mamma has just got her + passport for her nephew along with her own; and as we really don't want + him, nor he us, we shall both be better pleased to be free of each other, + and you can easily afterwards have your own forwarded to Baden by post." + </p> + <p> + "Ah, but," said I, "how shall I be certain, if I take so flattering an + offer, that you will forgive me for filling up the place of the dear + cousin; for, if I conjecture aright, it is 'Le Cher Edouard' that purposes + to be your companion." + </p> + <p> + "Yes, you have guessed quite correctly; but you must not tax me with + inconsistency, but really I have grown quite tired of my poor cousin, + since I saw him last night." + </p> + <p> + "And you used to admire him prodigiously." + </p> + <p> + "Well, well, that is all true, but I do so no longer." + </p> + <p> + "Eh! perche," said I, looking cunningly in her eye. + </p> + <p> + "For reasons that Mr. Lorrequer shall never know if he has to ask them," + said the poor girl, covering her eyes with her hands, and sobbing + bitterly. + </p> + <p> + What I thought, said, or did upon this occasion, with all my most sincere + desire to make a "clean breast of it in these confessions," I know not; + but this I do know, that two hours after, I found myself still sitting + upon the sofa beside Miss Bingham, whom I had been calling Emily all the + while, and talking more of personal matters and my own circumstances than + is ever safe or prudent for a young man to do with any lady under the age + of his mother. + </p> + <p> + All that I can now remember of this interview, is the fact of having + arranged my departure in the manner proposed by Miss Bingham—a + proposition to which I acceded with an affectation of satisfaction that I + fear went very far to deceive my fair friend. Not that the pleasure I felt + in the prospect was altogether feigned; but certainly the habit of being + led away by the whim and temper of the moment had so much become part of + my nature, that I had long since despaired of ever guarding myself against + the propensity I had acquired, of following every lead which any one might + throw out for me. And thus, as poor Harry Lorrequer was ever the first man + to get into a row at the suggestion of a friend, so he only waited the + least possible pressing on any occasion, to involve himself in any scrape + or misfortune that presented itself, provided there was only some one good + enough to advise him to do so. + </p> + <p> + As I entered my own room, to make preparations for my departure, I could + not help thinking over all the events thus crowded into the space of a few + hours. My sudden possession of wealth—my prospects at Callonby still + undecided—my scrape at the Salon—my late interview with Miss + Bingham, in which I had only stopped short of a proposal to marry, were + almost sufficient to occupy any reasonable mind; and so I was beginning to + suspect, when the waiter informed me that the Commissaire of Police was in + waiting below, and wished to speak to me. Affecting some surprise at the + request which I at once perceived the object of, I desired him to be + introduced. I was quite correct in my guess. The information of my being + concerned in the affair at the Salon had been communicated to the + authorities, and the Commissaire had orders to obtain bail for my + appearance at the Tribunal de Justice, on that day week, or commit me at + once to prison. The Commissaire politely gave me till evening to procure + the required bail, satisfying himself that he could adopt measures to + prevent my escape, and took his leave. He had scarcely gone when Mr. + Edward Bingham was announced—the reason for this visit I could not + so easily divine; but I had little time allowed for my conjectures, as the + same instant a very smart, dapper little gentleman presented himself, + dressed in all the extravagance of French mode. His hair, which was + permitted to curl upon his shoulders, was divided along the middle of the + head; his moustaches were slightly upturned and carefully waxed, and his + small chin-tuft or Henri-quatre most gracefully pointed; he wore three + most happily contrasting coloured waistcoats, and spurs of glittering + brass. His visit was of scarcely five minutes' duration; but was evidently + the opening of a breaching battery by the Bingham family in all form—the + object of which I could at least guess at. + </p> + <p> + My embarrassments were not destined to end here; for scarcely had I + returned Mr. Bingham's eighth salutation at the head of the staircase, + when another individual presented himself before me. This figure was in + every respect the opposite of my last visitor. Although framed perfectly + upon the late Parisian school of dandyism, his, however, was the "ecole + militaire." Le Capitaine Eugene de Joncourt, for so he introduced himself, + was a portly personage, of about five-and-thirty or forty years of age, + with that mixture of bon hommie and ferocity in his features which the + soldiers of Napoleon's army either affected or possessed naturally. His + features, which were handsome, and the expression of which was pleasing, + were, as it seemed, perverted, by the warlike turn of a most terrific pair + of whiskers and moustaches, from their naturally good-humoured bent; and + the practised frown and quick turn of his dark eye were evidently only the + acquired advantages of his military career; a handsome mouth, with + singularly regular and good teeth, took much away from the farouche look + of the upper part of his face; and contributed, with the aid of a most + pleasing voice, to impress you in his favour; his dress was a blue braided + frock, decorated with the cordon of the legion; but neither these, nor the + clink of his long cavalry spurs, were necessary to convince you that the + man was a soldier; besides that, there was that mixture of urbanity and + aplomb in his manner which showed him to be perfectly accustomed to the + usages of the best society. + </p> + <p> + "May I beg to know," said he, as he seated himself slowly, "if this card + contains your name and address," handing me at the same moment one of my + visiting cards. I immediately replied in the affirmative. + </p> + <p> + "You are then in the English service?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes." + </p> + <p> + "Then, may I entreat your pardon for the trouble of these questions, and + explain the reason of my visit. I am the friend of Le Baron D'Haulpenne, + with whom you had the altercation last night in the Salon, and in whose + name I have come to request the address of a friend on your part." + </p> + <p> + Ho, ho, thought I, the Baron is then the stout gentleman that I pummelled + so unmercifully near the window; but how came he by my card; and besides, + in a row of that kind, I am not aware how far the matter can be conceived + to go farther, than what happens at the moment. These were the thoughts of + a second of time, and before I could reply any thing, the captain resumed. + </p> + <p> + "You seem to have forgotten the circumstance, and so indeed should I like + to do; but unfortunately D'Haulpenne says that you struck him with your + walking-cane, so you know, under such a state of things, there is but one + course." + </p> + <p> + "But gently," added I, "I had no cane whatever the last evening." + </p> + <p> + "Oh! I beg pardon," interrupted he; "but my friend is most positive in his + account, and describes the altercation as having continued from the Salon + to the street, when you struck him, and at the same time threw him your + card. Two of our officers were also present; and although, as it appears + from your present forgetfulness, that the thing took place in the heat and + excitement of the moment, still—" + </p> + <p> + "But still," said I, catching up his last words, "I never did strike the + gentleman as you describe—never had any altercation in the street—and—" + </p> + <p> + "Is that your address?" said the Frenchman, with a slight bow. + </p> + <p> + "Yes, certainly it is." + </p> + <p> + "Why then," said he, with a slight curl of his upper lip—half smile, + half derision— + </p> + <p> + "Oh! make yourself perfectly easy," I replied. "If any one has by an + accident made use of my name, it shall not suffer by such a mistake. I + shall be quite at your service, the moment I can find out a friend to + refer you to." + </p> + <p> + I had much difficulty to utter these few words with a suitable degree of + temper, so stung was I by the insolent demeanour of the Frenchman, whose + coolness and urbanity seemed only to increase every moment. + </p> + <p> + "Then I have the honour to salute you," said he, rising with great + mildness in his voice; "and shall take the liberty to leave my card for + the information of your friend." + </p> + <p> + So saying, he placed his card upon the table—"Le Capitaine Eugene de + Joncourt, Cuirassiers de la Garde." + </p> + <p> + "I need not press upon Monsieur the value of despatch." + </p> + <p> + "I shall not lose a moment," said I, as he clattered down the stairs of + the hotel, with that perfect swaggering nonchalance which a Frenchman is + always an adept in; and I returned to my room, to meditate upon my + numerous embarrassments, and think over the difficulties which every + moment was contributing to increase the number of. + </p> + <p> + "The indictment has certainly many counts," thought I. + </p> + <p> + Imprimis—A half-implied, but fully comprehended promise to marry a + young lady, with whom, I confess, I only intend to journey this life—as + far as Baden. + </p> + <p> + Secondly, a charge of swindling—for such the imputation goes to—at + the Salon. + </p> + <p> + Thirdly, another unaccountable delay in joining the Callonbys, with whom I + am every hour in the risque of being "compromis;" and lastly, a duel in + perspective with some confounded Frenchman, who is at this very moment + practising at a pistol gallery. + </p> + <p> + Such were the heads of my reflections, and such the agreeable impressions + my visit to Paris was destined to open with; how they were to be followed + up I reserve for another chapter. <br /> + </p> + <hr /> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, +Vol. 4, by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 4 *** + +***** This file should be named 5237-h.htm or 5237-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/3/5237/ + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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(1806-1872) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 4 + +Author: Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Release Date: October 27, 2006 [EBook #5237] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 4 *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, Vol. 4 + +[By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)] + + +Dublin + +MDCCCXXXIX. + + + +Volume 4. (Chapter XXIV-XXVIII) + + +Contents: + +CHAPTER XXIV +The Gen d'Arme + +CHAPTER XXV +The Inn at Chantraine + +CHAPTER XXVI +Mr O'Leary + +CHAPTER XXVII +Paris + +CHAPTER XXVIII +Paris + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +THE GEN D'ARME. + +I had fortunately sufficient influence upon my fair friends to persuade +them to leave Calais early on the morning following; and two hours before +Kilkee had opened his eyes upon this mortal life, we were far upon the +road to Paris. + +Having thus far perfectly succeeded in my plot, my spirit rose rapidly, +and I made every exertion to make the road appear short to my +fellow-travellers. This part of France is unfortunately deficient in any +interest from scenery; large undivided tracts of waving cornfields, with +a back-ground of apparently interminable forests, and occasionally, but +rarely, the glimpse of some old time-worn chateau, with its pointed gable +and terraced walk, are nearly all that the eye can detect in the +intervals between the small towns and villages. Nothing, however, is +"flat or unprofitable" to those who desire to make it otherwise; good +health, good spirits, and fine weather, are wonderful travelling +companions, and render one tolerably independent of the charms of +scenery. Every mile that separated me from Calais, and took away the +chance of being overtaken, added to my gaiety, and I flatter myself that +a happier party have rarely travelled that well frequented road. + +We reached Abbeville to dinner, and adjourned to the beautiful little +garden of the inn for our coffee; the evening was so delightful that I +proposed to walk on the Paris road, until the coming up of the carriage, +which required a screw, or a washer, or some such trifle as always occurs +in French posting. To this la chere mamma objected, she being tired, but +added, that Isabella and I might go on, and that she would take us up in +half an hour. This was an arrangement so very agreeable and unlooked for +by me, that I pressed Miss Bingham as far as I well could, and at last +succeeded in overcoming her scruples, and permitting me to shawl her. +One has always a tremendous power of argument with the uninitiated +abroad, by a reference to a standard of manners and habits totally +different from our own. Thus the talismanic words--"Oh! don't be +shocked; remember you are in France," did more to satisfy my young +friend's mind than all I could have said for an hour. Little did she +know that in England only, has an unmarried young lady any liberty, and +that the standard of foreign propriety on this head is far, very far more +rigid than our own. + +"La premiere Rue a gauche," said an old man of whom I inquired the road; +"et puis," added I. + +"And then quite straight; it is a chaussee all the way, and you cannot +mistake it." + +"Now for it, mademoiselle," said I. "Let us try if we cannot see a good +deal of the country before the carriage comes up." + +We had soon left the town behind and reached a beautifully shaded high +road, with blossoming fruit trees, and honeysuckle-covered cottages; +there had been several light showers during the day, and the air had all +the fresh fragrant feeling of an autumn evening, so tranquillizing and +calming that few there are who have not felt at some time or other of +their lives, its influence upon their minds. I fancied my fair companion +did so, for, as she walked beside me, her silence, and the gentle +pressure of her arm, were far more eloquent than words. + +If that extraordinary flutter and flurry of sensations which will now and +then seize you, when walking upon a lonely country road with a pretty +girl for your companion, whose arm is linked in yours, and whose +thoughts, as far you can guess at least, are travelling the same path +with your own--if this be animal magnetism, or one of its phenomena, then +do I swear by Mesmer, whatever it be, delusion or otherwise, it has given +me the brightest moments of my life--these are the real "winged dreams" +of pleasures which outlive others of more absorbing and actual interest +at the time. After all, for how many of our happiest feelings are we +indebted to the weakness of our nature. The man that is wise at +nineteen, "Je l'en fais mon compliment," but I assuredly do not envy him; +and now, even now, when I number more years than I should like to +"confess," rather than suffer the suspicious watchfulness of age to creep +on me, I prefer to "go on believing," even though every hour of the day +should show me, duped and deceived. While I plead guilty to this +impeachment, let me show mitigation, that it has its enjoyments--first, +although I am the most constant and devoted man breathing, as a very +cursory glance at these confessions may prove, yet I have never been able +to restrain myself from a propensity to make love, merely as a pastime. +The gambler that sits down to play cards, or hazard against himself, may +perhaps be the only person that can comprehend this tendency of mine. We +both of us are playing for nothing (or love, which I suppose is +synonymous;) we neither of us put forth our strength; for that very +reason, and in fact like the waiter at Vauxhall who was complimented upon +the dexterity with which he poured out the lemonade, and confessed that +he spent his mornings "practising with vater," we pass a considerable +portion of our lives in a mimic warfare, which, if it seem unprofitable, +is, nevertheless, pleasant. + +After all this long tirade, need I say how our walk proceeded? We had +fallen into a kind of discussion upon the singular intimacy which had so +rapidly grown up amongst us, and which years long might have failed to +engender. Our attempts to analyse the reasons for, and the nature of the +friendship thus so suddenly established--a rather dangerous and difficult +topic, when the parties are both young--one eminently handsome, and the +other disposed to be most agreeable. Oh, my dear young friends of either +sex, whatever your feelings be for one another, keep them to yourselves; +I know of nothing half so hazardous as that "comparing of notes" which +sometimes happens. Analysis is a beautiful thing in mathematics or +chemistry, but it makes sad havoc when applied to the "functions of the +heart." + +"Mamma appears to have forgotten us," said Isabella, as she spoke, after +walking for some time in silence beside me. + +"Oh, depend upon it, the carriage has taken all this time to repair; but +are you tired?" + +"Oh, by no means; the evening is delightful, but--" + +"Then perhaps you are ennuyee," said I, half pettishly, to provoke a +disclaimer if possible. To this insidiously put quere I received, as I +deserved, no answer, and again we sauntered on without speaking. + +"To whom does that chateau belong, my old friend?" said I addressing a +man on the road-side. + +"A Monsieur le Marquis, sir," replied he. + +"But what's his name, though?" + +"Ah, that I can't tell you," replied the man again. + +There you may perceive how, even yet, in provincial France, the old +respect for the aristocracy still survives; it is sufficient that the +possessor of that fine place is "Monsieur le Marquis;" but any other +knowledge of who he is, and what, is superfluous. "How far are we from +the next village, do you know?" + +"About a league." + +"Indeed. Why I thought 'La Scarpe' was quite near us." + +"Ah, you are thinking of the Amiens road." + +"Yes, of course; and is not this the Amiens road?" + +"Oh, no; the Amiens road lies beyond those low hills to the right. You +passed the turn at the first 'barriere'." + +"Is it possible we could have come wrong?" + +"Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, don't say so, I entreat of you." + +"And what road is this, then, my friend?" + +"This is the road to Albert and Peronne." + +"Unfortunately, I believe he is quite right. Is there any crossroad from +the village before us now, to the Amiens road?" + +"Yes; you can reach it about three leagues hence." + +"And we can get a carriage at the inn probably?" + +"Ah, that I am not sure of--. Perhaps at the Lion d'or you may." + +"But why not go back to Abbeville?" + +"Oh, Mrs. Bingham must have left long since, and beside you forget the +distance; we have been walking two hours." + +"Now for the village," said I, as I drew my friend's arm closer within +mine, and we set out in a fast walk. + +Isabella seemed terribly frightened at the whole affair; what her mamma +might think, and what might be her fears at not finding us on the road, +and a hundred other encouraging reflections of this nature she poured +forth unceasingly. As for myself, I did not know well what to think of +it; my old fondness for adventure being ever sufficiently strong in me to +give a relish to any thing which bore the least resemblance to one. This +I now concealed, and sympathised with my fair friend upon our mishap, and +assuring her, at the same time, that there could be no doubt of our +overtaking Mrs. Bingham before her arrival at Amiens. + +"Ah, there is the village in the valley; how beautifully situated." + +"Oh, I can't admire any thing now, Mr. Lorrequer, I am so frightened." + +"But surely without cause," said I, looking tenderly beneath her bonnet. + +"Is this," she answered, "nothing," and we walked on in silence again. + +On reaching the Lion d'or we discovered that the only conveyance to be +had was a species of open market-cart drawn by two horses, and in which +it was necessary that my fair friend and myself should seat ourselves +side by side upon straw: there was no choice, and as for Miss Bingham, +I believe if an ass with panniers had presented itself, she would have +preferred it to remaining where she was. We therefore took our places, +and she could not refrain from laughing as we set out upon our journey in +this absurd equipage, every jolt of which threw us from side to side, and +rendered every attention on my part requisite to prevent her being upset. + +After about two hours' travelling we arrived at the Amiens road, and +stopped at the barriere. I immediately inquired if a carriage had +passed, resembling Mrs. Bingham's, and learned that it had, about an hour +before, and that the lady in it had been informed that two persons, like +those she asked after, had been seen in a caleche driving rapidly to +Amiens, upon which she set out as fast as possible in pursuit. + +"Certainly," said I, "the plot is thickening; but for that unlucky +mistake she might in all probability have waited here for us. Amiens is +only two leagues now, so our drive will not be long, and before six +o'clock we shall all be laughing over the matter as a very good joke." + +On we rattled, and as the road became less frequented, and the shadows +lengthened, I could not but wonder at the strange situations which the +adventurous character of my life had so often involved me in. Meanwhile, +my fair friend's spirits became more and more depressed, and it was not +without the greatest difficulty I was enabled to support her courage. I +assured her, and not altogether without reason, that though so often in +my eventful career accidents were occurring which rendered it dubious and +difficult to reach the goal I aimed at, yet the results had so often been +more pleasant than I could have anticipated, that I always felt a kind of +involuntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path, setting it +down as some especial means of fortune, to heighten the pleasure awaiting +me; "and now," added I, "even here, perhaps, in this very mistake of our +road--the sentiments I have heard--the feelings I have given utterance +to--" What I was about to say, heaven knows--perhaps nothing less than a +downright proposal was coming; but at that critical moment a gen-d'arme +rode up to the side of our waggon, and surveyed us with the peculiarly +significant scowl his order is gifted with. After trotting alongside for +a few seconds he ordered the driver to halt, and, turning abruptly to us, +demanded our passports. Now our passports were, at that precise moment, +peaceably reposing in the side pocket of Mrs. Bingham's carriage; I +therefore explained to the gen-d'arme how we were circumstanced, and +added, that on arriving at Amiens the passport should be produced. To +this he replied that all might be perfectly true, but he did not believe +a word of it--that he had received an order for the apprehension of two +English persons travelling that road--and that he should accordingly +request our company back to Chantraine, the commissionaire of which place +was his officer. + +"But why not take us to Amiens," said I; "particularly when I tell you +that we can then show our passports?" + +"I belong to the Chantraine district," was the laconic answer; and like +the gentleman who could not weep at the sermon because he belonged to +another parish, this specimen of a French Dogberry would not hear reason +except in his own "commune." + +No arguments which I could think of had any effect upon him, and amid a +volley of entreaty and imprecation, both equally vain, we saw ourselves +turn back upon the road to Amiens, and set out at a round trot to +Chantraine, on the road to Calais. + +Poor Isabella, I really pitied her; hitherto her courage had been +principally sustained by the prospect of soon reaching Amiens; now there +was no seeing where our adventure was to end. Besides that, actual +fatigue from the wretched conveyance began to distress her, and she was +scarcely able to support herself, though assisted by my arm. What a +perilous position mine, whispering consolation and comfort to a pretty +girl on a lonely road, the only person near being one who comprehended +nothing of the language we spoke in. Ah, how little do we know of fate, +and how often do we despise circumstances that determine all our fortunes +in the world. To think that a gen-d'arme should have any thing to do +with my future lot in life, and that the real want of a passport to +travel should involve the probable want of a licence to marry. Yes, it +is quite in keeping, thought I, with every step I have taken through +life. I may be brought before the "maire" as a culprit, and leave him as +a Benedict. + +On reaching the town, we were not permitted to drive to the inn, but at +once conveyed to the house of the "commissaire," who was also the "maire" +of the district. The worthy functionary was long since in bed, and it +was only after ringing violently for half an hour that a head, surmounted +with a dirty cotton night-cap, peeped from an upper window, and seemed to +survey the assemblage beneath with patient attention. By this time a +considerable crowd had collected from the neighbouring ale-houses and +cabarets, who deemed it a most fitting occasion to honour us with the +most infernal yells and shouts, as indicating their love of justice, and +delight in detecting knavery; and that we were both involved in such +suspicion, we had not long to learn. Meanwhile the poor old maire, who +had been an employe in the stormy days of the revolution, and also under +Napoleon, and who full concurred with Swift that "a crowd is a mob, if +composed even of bishops," firmly believed that the uproar beneath in the +street was the announcement of a new change of affairs at Paris, +determined to be early in the field, and shouted therefore with all his +lungs--"vive le peuple"--"Vive la charte"--"A bas les autres." A +tremendous shout of laughter saluted this exhibition of unexpected +republicanism, and the poor maire retired from the window, having learned +his mistake, covered with shame and confusion. + +Before the mirth caused by this blunder had subsided, the door had +opened, and we were ushered into the bureau of the commissaire, +accompanied by the anxious crowd, all curious to know the particulars of +our crime. + +The maire soon appeared, his night-cap being replaced by a small black +velvet skull-cap, and his lanky figure enveloped in a tarnished silk +dressing-gown; he permitted us to be seated, while the gen-d'arme +recounted the suspicious circumstances of our travelling, and produced +the order to arrest an Englishman and his wife who had arrived in one of +the late Boulogne packets, and who had carried off from some +banking-house money and bills for a large amount. + +"I have no doubt these are the people," said the gen-d'arme; "and here is +the 'carte descriptive.' Let us compare it--'Forty-two or forty-three +years of age.'" + +"I trust, M. le Maire," said I, overhearing this, "that ladies do not +recognize me as so much." + +"Of a pale and cadaverous aspect," continued the gen-d'arme. + +Upon this the old functionary, wiping his spectacles with a snuffy +handkerchief, as if preparing them to examine an eclipse of the sun, +regarded me fixedly for several minutes, and said--"Oh, yes, I perceive +it plainly; continue the description." + +"Five feet three inches," said the gen-d'arme. + +"Six feet one in England, whatever this climate may have done since." + +"Speaks broken and bad French." + +"Like a native," said I; "at least so said my friends in the chaussee +D'Antin, in the year fifteen." + +Here the catalogue ended, and a short conference between the maire and +the gen-d'arme ensued, which ended in our being committed for examination +on the morrow; meanwhile we were to remain at the inn, under the +surveillance of the gen-d'arme. + +On reaching the inn my poor friend was so completely exhausted that she +at once retired to her room, and I proceeded to fulfil a promise I had +made her to despatch a note to Mrs. Bingham at Amiens by a special +messenger, acquainting her with all our mishaps, and requesting her to +come or send to our assistance. This done, and a good supper smoking +before me, of which with difficulty I persuaded Isabella to partake in +her own room, I again regained my equanimity, and felt once more at ease. + +The gen-d'arme in whose guardianship I had been left was a fine specimen +of his caste; a large and powerfully built man of about fifty, with an +enormous beard of grizzly brown and grey hair, meeting above and beneath +his nether lip; his eyebrows were heavy and beetling, and nearly +concealed his sharp grey eyes, while a deep sabre-wound had left upon his +cheek a long white scar, giving a most warlike and ferocious look to his +features. + +As he sat apart from me for some time, silent and motionless, I could not +help imagining in how many a hard-fought day he had borne a part, for he +evidently, from his age and bearing, had been one of the soldiers of the +empire. I invited him to partake of my bottle of Medoc, by which he +seemed flattered. When the flask became low, and was replaced by +another, he appeared to have lost much of his constrained air, and +seemed forgetting rapidly the suspicious circumstances which he supposed +attached to me--waxed wondrous confidential and communicative, and +condescended to impart some traits of a life which was not without its +vicissitudes, for he had been, as I suspected, one of the "Guarde"--the +old guarde--was wounded at Marengo, and received the croix d'honneur in +the field of Wagram, from the hands of the Emperor himself. The headlong +enthusiasm of attachment to Napoleon, which his brief and stormy career +elicited even from those who suffered long and deeply in his behalf, is +not one of the least singular circumstances which this portion of history +displays. While the rigours of the conscription had invaded every family +in France, from Normandie to La Vendee--while the untilled fields, the +ruined granaries, the half-deserted villages, all attested the +depopulation of the land, those talismanic words, "l'Empereur et la +gloire," by some magic mechanism seemed all-sufficient not only to +repress regret and suffering, but even stimulate pride, and nourish +valour; and even yet, when it might be supposed that like the brilliant +glass of a magic lantern, the gaudy pageant had passed away, leaving only +the darkness and desolation behind it--the memory of those days under the +empire survives untarnished and unimpaired, and every sacrifice of +friends or fortune is accounted but little in the balance when the honour +of La Belle France, and the triumphs of the grand "armee," are weighted +against them. The infatuated and enthusiastic followers of this great +man would seem, in some respects, to resemble the drunkard in the +"Vaudeville," who alleged as his excuse for drinking, that whenever he +was sober his poverty disgusted him. "My cabin," said he, "is a cell, my +wife a mass of old rags, my child a wretched object of misery and malady. +But give me brandy; let me only have that, and then my hut is a palace, +my wife is a princess, and my child the very picture of health and +happiness;" so with these people--intoxicated with the triumphs of their +nation, "tete monte" with victory--they cannot exist in the horror of +sobriety which peace necessarily enforces; and whenever the subject turns +in conversation upon the distresses of the time or the evil prospects of +the country, they call out, not like the drunkard, for brandy, but in the +same spirit they say--"Ah, if you would again see France flourishing and +happy, let us once more have our croix d'honneur, our epaulettes, our +voluntary contributions, our Murillos, our Velasquez, our spoils from +Venice, and our increased territories to rule over." This is the +language of the Buonapartiste every where, and at all seasons; and the +mass of the nation is wonderfully disposed to participate in the +sentiment. The empire was the Aeneid of the nation, and Napoleon the +only hero they now believe in. You may satisfy yourself of this easily. +Every cafe will give evidence of it, every society bears its testimony to +it, and even the most wretched Vaudeville, however, trivial the interest +--however meagre the story, and poor the diction, let the emperor but +have his "role"--let him be as laconic as possible, carry his hands +behind his back, wear the well-known low cocked-hat, and the "redingote +gris"--the success is certain--every sentence he utters is applauded, and +not a single allusion to the Pyramids, the sun of Austerlitz, l'honneur, +et al vieille garde, but is sure to bring down thunders of acclamation. +But I am forgetting myself, and perhaps my reader too; the conversation +of the old gen-d'arme accidentally led me into reflections like these, +and he was well calculated, in many ways, to call them forth. His +devoted attachment--his personal love of the emperor--of which he gave me +some touching instances, was admirably illustrated by an incident, which +I am inclined to tell, and hope it may amuse the reader as much as it did +myself on hearing it. + +When Napoleon had taken possession of the papal dominions, as he +virtually did, and carried off the pope, Pius VI, to Paris, this old +soldier, then a musketeer in the garde, formed part of the company that +mounted guard over the holy father. During the earlier months of the +holy father's confinement he was at liberty to leave his apartments at +any hour he pleased, and cross the court-yard of the palace to the chapel +where he performed mass. At such moments the portion of the Imperial +Guard then on duty stood under arms, and received from the august hand of +the pope his benediction as he passed. But one morning a hasty express +arrived from the Tuilleries, and the officer on duty communicated his +instructions to his party, that the apostolic vicar was not to be +permitted to pass, as heretofore, to the chapel, and that a most rigid +superintendence was to be exercised over his movements. My poor +companion had his turn for duty on that ill-starred day; he had not been +long at his post when the sound of footsteps was heard approaching, and +he soon saw the procession which always attended the holy father to his +devotions, advancing towards him; he immediately placed himself across +the passage, and with his musket in rest barred the exit, declaring, at +the same time, that such were his orders. In vain the priests who formed +the cortege addressed themselves to his heart, and spoke to his feelings, +and at last finding little success by these methods, explained to him the +mortal sin and crime for which eternal damnation itself might not be a +too heavy retribution if he persisted in preventing his holiness to pass, +and thus be the means of opposing an obstacle to the head of the whole +Catholic church, for celebrating the mass; the soldier remained firm and +unmoved, the only answer he returned being, "that he had his orders, and +dared not disobey them." The pope, however, persisted in his resolution, +and endeavoured to get by, when the hardy veteran retreated a step, and +placing his musket and bayonet at the charge, called out "au nom de +l'Empereur," when the pious party at last yielded and slowly retired +within the palace. + +Not many days after, this severe restriction was recalled, and once more +the father was permitted to go to and from the chapel of the palace, at +such times as he pleased, and again, as before, in passing the corridor, +the guards presented arms and received the holy benediction, all except +one; upon him the head of the church frowned severely, and turned his +back, while extending his pious hands towards the others. "And yet," +said the poor fellow in concluding his story, "and yet I could not have +done otherwise; I had my orders and must have followed them, and had the +emperor commanded it, I should have run my bayonet through the body of +the holy father himself. + +"Thus, you see, my dear sir, how I have loved the emperor, for I have +many a day stood under fire for him in this world, 'et il faut que +j'aille encore au feu pour lui apres ma mort.'." + +He received in good part the consolations I offered him on this head, but +I plainly saw they did not, could not relieve his mind from the horrible +conviction he lay under, that his soul's safety for ever had been +bartered for his attachment to the emperor. + +This story had brought us to the end of the third bottle of Medoc; and, +as I was neither the pope, nor had any very decided intentions of saying +mass, he offered no obstacle to my retiring for the night, and betaking +myself to my bed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +THE INN AT CHANTRAINE. + +When contrasted with the comforts of an English bed-room in a good hotel, +how miserably short does the appearance of a French one fall in the +estimation of the tired traveller. In exchange for the carpeted floor, +the well-curtained windows, the richly tapestried bed, the well cushioned +arm-chair, and the innumerable other luxuries which await him; he has +nought but a narrow, uncurtained bed, a bare floor, occasionally a +flagged one, three hard cane-bottomed chairs, and a looking-glass which +may convey an idea of how you would look under the combined influence of +the cholera, and a stroke of apoplexy, one half of your face being twice +the length of the other, and the entire of it of a bluish-green +tint--pretty enough in one of Turner's landscapes, but not at all +becoming when applied to the "human face divine." Let no late arrival +from the continent contradict me here by his late experiences, which a +stray twenty pounds and the railroads--(confound them for the same) +--have enabled him to acquire. I speak of matters before it occurred to +all Charing-Cross and Cheapside to "take the water" between Dover and +Calais, and inundate the world with the wit of the Cider Cellar, and the +Hole in the Wall. No! In the days I write of, the travelled were of +another genus, and you might dine at Very's or have your loge at "Les +Italiens," without being dunned by your tailor at the one, or confronted +with your washer-woman at the other. Perhaps I have written all this in +the spite and malice of a man who feels that his louis-d'or only goes +half as far now as heretofore; and attributes all his diminished +enjoyments and restricted luxuries to the unceasing current of his +countrymen, whom fate, and the law of imprisonment for debt, impel +hither. Whether I am so far guilty or not, is not now the question; +suffice it to say, that Harry Lorrequer, for reasons best known to +himself, lives abroad, where he will be most happy to see any of his old +and former friends who take his quarters en route; and in the words of a +bellicose brother of the pen, but in a far different spirit, he would +add, "that any person who feels himself here alluded to, may learn the +author's address at his publishers." "Now let us go back to our +muttons," as Barney Coyle used to say in the Dublin Library formerly +--for Barney was fond of French allusions, which occasionally too he +gave in their own tongue, as once describing an interview with Lord +Cloncurry, in which he broke off suddenly the conference, adding, "I +told him I never could consent to such a proposition, and putting my +chateau (chapeau) on my head, I left the house at once." + +It was nearly three o'clock in the morning, as accompanied by the +waiter, who, like others of his tribe, had become a kind of somnambulist +ex-officio, I wended my way up one flight of stairs, and down another, +along a narrow corridor, down two steps, through an antechamber, and +into another corridor, to No. 82, my habitation for the night. Why I +should have been so far conducted from the habitable portion of the +house I had spent my evening in, I leave the learned in such matters to +explain; as for me, I have ever remarked it, while asking for a chamber +in a large roomy hotel, the singular pride with which you are ushered up +grand stair-cases, down passages, through corridors, and up narrow back +flights, till the blue sky is seen through the sky-light, to No. 199, +"the only spare bed-room in the house," while the silence and desolation +of the whole establishment would seem to imply far otherwise--the only +evidence of occupation being a pair of dirty Wellingtons at the door of +No. 2. + +"Well, we have arrived at last," said I, drawing a deep sigh, as I threw +myself upon a ricketty chair, and surveyed rapidly my meagre-looking +apartment. + +"Yes, this is Monsieur's chamber," said the waiter, with a very peculiar +look, half servile, half droll. "Madame se couche, No. 28." + +"Very well, good night," said I, closing the door hastily, and not liking +the farther scrutiny of the fellow's eye, as he fastened it on me, as if +to search what precise degree of relationship existed between myself and +my fair friend, whom he had called "Madame" purposely to elicit an +observation from me. "Ten to one though," said I, as I undressed myself, +"but they think she is my wife--how good--but again--ay, it is very +possible, considering we are in France. Numero vingt-huit, quite far +enough from this part of the house I should suppose from my number,--that +old gen-d'arme was a fine fellow--what strong attachment to Napoleon; and +the story of the pope; I hope I may remember that. Isabella, poor girl +--this adventure must really distress her--hope she is not crying over it +--what a devil of a hard bed--and it is not five feet long too--and, +bless my soul, is this all by way of covering; why I shall be perished +here. Oh! I must certainly put all my clothes over me in addition, +unfortunately there is no hearth-rug--well, there is no help for it now +--so let me try to sleep--numero vingt-huit." + +How long I remained in a kind of uneasy, fitful slumber, I cannot tell; +but I awoke shivering with cold--puzzled to tell where I was, and my +brain addled with the broken fragments of half a dozen dreams, all +mingling and mixing themselves with the unpleasant realities of my +situation. What an infernal contrivance for a bed, thought I, as my head +came thump against the top, while my legs projected far beyond the +foot-rail; the miserable portion of clothing over me at the same time +being only sufficient to temper the night air, which in autumn is +occasionally severe and cutting. This will never do. I must ring the +bell and rouse the house, if only to get a fire, if they don't possess +such a thing as blankets. I immediately rose, and groping my way along +the wall endeavoured to discover the bell, but in vain; and for the same +satisfactory reason that Von Troil did not devote one chapter of his +work on "Iceland" to "snakes," because there were none such there. What +was now to be done? About the geography of my present abode I knew, +perhaps, as much as the public at large know about the Coppermine river +and Behring's straits. The world, it was true, was before me, "where +top choose," admirable things for an epic, but decidedly an unfortunate +circumstance for a very cold gentleman in search of a blanket. Thus +thinking, I opened the door of my chamber, and not in any way resolved +how I should proceed, I stepped forth into the long corridor, which was +dark as midnight itself. + +Tracing my path along the wall, I soon reached a door which I in vain +attempted to open; in another moment I found another and another, each of +which were locked. Thus along the entire corridor I felt my way, making +every effort to discover where any of the people of the house might have +concealed themselves, but without success. What was to be done now? It +was of no use to go back to my late abode, and find it comfortless as I +left it; so I resolved to proceed in my search; by this time I had +arrived at the top of a small flight of stairs, which I remembered having +come up, and which led to another long passage similar to the one I had +explored, but running in a transverse direction, down this I now crept, +and reached the landing, along the wall of which I was guided by my hand, +as well for safety as to discover the architrave of some friendly door, +where the inhabitant might be sufficiently Samaritan to lend some portion +of his bed-clothes; door after door followed in succession along this +confounded passage, which I began to think as long as the gallery of the +lower one; at last, however, just as my heart was sinking within me from +disappointment, the handle of a lock turned, and I found myself inside a +chamber. How was I now to proceed? for if this apartment did not contain +any of the people of the hotel, I had but a sorry excuse for disturbing +the repose of any traveller who might have been more fortunate than +myself in the article of blankets. To go back however, would be absurd, +having already taken so much trouble to find out a room that was +inhabited--for that such was the case, a short, thick snore assured me +--so that my resolve was at once made, to waken the sleeper, and +endeavour to interest him in my destitute situation. I accordingly +approached the place where the nasal sounds seemed to issue from, and +soon reached the post of a bed. I waited for an instant, and then +began, + +"Monsier, voulez vous bien me permettre--" + +"As to short whist, I never could make it out, so there is an end of it," +said my unknown friend, in a low, husky voice, which, strangely enough, +was not totally unfamiliar to me: but when or how I had heard it before I +could not then think. + +Well, thought I, he is an Englishman at all events, so I hope his +patriotism may forgive my intrusion, so here goes once more to rouse him, +though he seems a confoundedly heavy sleeper. "I beg your pardon, sir, +but unfortunately in a point like the present, perhaps--" + +"Well, do you mark the points, and I'll score the rubber," said he. + +"The devil take the gambling fellow's dreaming," thought I, raising my +voice at the same time. + +"Perhaps a cold night, sir, may suffice as my apology." + +"Cold, oh, ay! put a hot poker to it," muttered he; "a hot poker, a +little sugar, and a spice of nutmeg--nothing else--then it's delicious." + +"Upon my soul, this is too bad," said I to myself. "Let us see what +shaking will do. Sir, sir, I shall feel obliged by--" + +"Well there, don't shake me, and I'll tell you where I hid the cigars +--they are under my straw hat in the window." + +"Well, really," thought I, "if this gentleman's confessions were of an +interesting nature, this might be good fun; but as the night is cold, I +must shorten the 'seance,' so here goes for one effort more. + +"If, sir, you could kindly spare me even a small portion of your +bed-clothes." + +"No, thank you, no more wine; but I'll sing with pleasure;" and here the +wretch, in something like the voice of a frog with the quinsy, began, +"'I'd mourn the hopes that leave me.'" + +"You shall mourn something else for the same reason," said I, as losing +all patience, I seized quilts and blankets by the corner, and with one +vigourous pull wrenched them from the bed, and darted from the room--in a +second I was in the corridor, trailing my spoil behind--which in my haste +I had not time to collect in a bundle. I flew rather than ran along the +passage, reached the stairs, and in another minute had reached the second +gallery, but not before I heard the slam of a door behind me, and the +same instant the footsteps of a person running along the corridor, who +could be no other than my pursuer, effectually aroused by my last appeal +to his charity. I darted along the dark and narrow passage; but soon to +my horror discovered that I must have passed the door of my chamber, for +I had reached the foot of a narrow back stair, which led to the grenier +and the servants' rooms, beneath the roof. To turn now would only have +led me plump in the face of my injured countryman, of whose thew and +sinew I was perfectly ignorant, and did not much like to venture upon. +There was little time for reflection, for he had now reached the top of +the stair, and was evidently listening for some clue to guide him on; +stealthily and silently, and scarcely drawing breath, I mounted the +narrow stairs step by step, but before I had arrived at the landing, he +heard the rustle of the bed-clothes, and again gave chace. There was +something in the unrelenting ardour of his pursuit, which suggested to my +mind the idea of a most uncompromising foe; and as fear added speed to my +steps, I dashed along beneath the low-roofed passage, wondering what +chance of escape might yet present itself. Just at this instant, the +hand by which I had guided myself along the wall, touched the handle of a +door--I turned it--it opened--I drew in my precious bundle, and closing +the door noiselessly, sat down, breathless and still, upon the floor. + +Scarcely was this, the work of a second, accomplished, when the heavy +tread of my pursuer resounded on the floor. + +"Upon my conscience it's strange if I haven't you now, my friend," said +he: "you're in a cul de sac here, as they say, if I know any thing of the +house; and faith I'll make a salad of you, when I get you, that's all. +Devil a dirtier trick ever I heard tell of." + +Need I say that these words had the true smack of an Irish accent, which +circumstance, from whatever cause, did not by any means tend to assuage +my fears in the event of discovery. + +However, from such a misfortune my good genius now delivered me; for +after traversing the passage to the end, he at last discovered another, +which led by a long flight to the second story, down which he proceeded, +venting at every step his determination for vengeance, and his resolution +not to desist from the pursuit, if it took the entire night for it. + +"Well now," thought I, "as he will scarcely venture up here again, and as +I may, by leaving this, be only incurring the risk of encountering him, +my best plan is to stay where I am if it be possible." With this intent I +proceeded to explore the apartment, which from its perfect stillness, I +concluded to be unoccupied. After some few minutes groping I reached a +low bed, fortunately empty, and although the touch of the bed-clothes led +to no very favourable augury of its neatness or elegance, there was +little choice at this moment, so I rolled myself up in my recent booty, +and resolved to wait patiently for day-break to regain my apartment. + +As always happens in such circumstances, sleep came on me unawares +--so at least every one's experience I am sure can testify, that if you +are forced to awake early to start by some morning coach, and that +unfortunately you have not got to bed till late at night, the chances +are ten to one, that you get no sleep whatever, simply because you are +desirous for it; but make up your mind ever so resolutely, that you'll +not sleep, and whether your determination be built on motives of +propriety, duty, convenience, or health, and the chances are just as +strong that you are sound and snoring before ten minutes. + +How many a man has found it impossible, with every effort of his heart +and brain aiding his good wishes, to sit with unclosed eyes and ears +through a dull sermon in the dog-days; how many an expectant, longing +heir has yielded to the drowsy influence when endeavouring to look +contrite under the severe correction of a lecture on extravagance from +his uncle. Who has not felt the irresistible tendency to "drop off" in +the half hour before dinner at a stupid country-house? I need not +catalogue the thousand other situations in life infinitely more +"sleep-compelling" than Morphine; for myself, my pleasantest and soundest +moments of perfect forgetfulness of this dreary world and all its cares, +have been taken in an oaken bench, seated bolt upright and vis a vis to a +lecturer on botany, whose calming accents, united with the softened light +of an autumnal day, piercing its difficult rays through the narrow and +cobwebbed windows, the odour of the recent plants and flowers aiding and +abetting, all combined to steep the soul in sleep, and you sank by +imperceptible and gradual steps into that state of easy slumber, in which +"come no dreams," and the last sounds of the lecturer's "hypogenous and +perigenous" died away, becoming beautifully less, till your senses sank +into rest, the syllables "rigging us, rigging us," seemed to melt away in +the distance and fade from your memory--Peace be with you, Doctor A. If +I owe gratitude any where I have my debt with you. The very memory I +bear of you has saved me no inconsiderable sum in hop and henbane. +Without any assistance from the sciences on the present occasion, I was +soon asleep, and woke not till the cracking of whips, and trampling of +horses' feet on the pavement of the coach-yard apprised me that the world +had risen to its daily labour, and so should I. From the short survey of +my present chamber which I took on waking, I conjectured it must have +been the den of some of the servants of the house upon occasion--two low +truckle-beds of the meanest description lay along the wall opposite to +mine; one of them appeared to have been slept in during the past night, +but by what species of animal the Fates alone can tell. An old demi-peak +saddle, capped and tipped with brass, some rusty bits, and stray +stirrup-irons lay here and there upon the floor; while upon a species of +clothes-rack, attached to a rafter, hung a tarnished suit of +postillion's livery, cap, jacket, leathers, and jack-boots, all ready +for use; and evidently from their arrangement supposed by the owner to +be a rather creditable "turn out." + +I turned over these singular habiliments with much of the curiosity with +which an antiquary would survey a suit of chain armour; the long +epaulettes of yellow cotton cord, the heavy belt with its brass buckle, +the cumbrous boots, plaited and bound with iron like churns were in +rather a ludicrous contrast to the equipment of our light and jockey-like +boys in nankeen jackets and neat tops, that spin along over our level +"macadam." + +"But," thought I, "it is full time I should get back to No. 82, and make +my appearance below stairs;" though in what part of the building my room +lay, and how I was to reach it without my clothes, I had not the +slightest idea. A blanket is an excessively comfortable article of +wearing apparel when in bed, but as a walking costume is by no means +convenient or appropriate; while to making a sorti en sauvage, however +appropriate during the night, there were many serious objections if done +"en plein jour," and with the whole establishment awake and active; the +noise of mopping, scrubbing, and polishing, which is eternally going +forward in a foreign inn amply testified there was nothing which I could +adopt in my present naked and forlorn condition, save the bizarre and +ridiculous dress of the postillion, and I need not say the thought of so +doing presented nothing agreeable. I looked from the narrow window out +upon the tiled roof, but without any prospect of being heard if I called +ever so loudly. + +The infernal noise of floor-cleansing, assisted by a Norman peasant's +"chanson du pays," the time being well marked by her heavy sabots, gave +even less chance to me within; so that after more than half an hour +passed in weighing difficulties, and canvassing plans, upon donning the +blue and yellow, and setting out for my own room without delay, hoping +sincerely, that with proper precaution, I should be able to reach it +unseen and unobserved. + +As I laid but little stress upon the figure I should make in my new +habiliments, it did not cause me much mortification to find that the +clothes were considerably too small, the jacket scarcely coming beneath +my arms, and the sleeves being so short that my hands and wrists +projected beyond the cuffs like two enormous claws; the leathers were +also limited in their length, and when drawn up to a proper height, +permitted my knees to be seen beneath, like the short costume of a +Spanish Tauridor, but scarcely as graceful; not wishing to encumber +myself in the heavy and noisy masses of wood, iron, and leather, they +call "les bottes forts," I slipped my feet into my slippers, and stole +gently from the room. How I must have looked at the moment I leave my +reader to guess, as with anxious and stealthy pace I crept along the low +gallery that led to the narrow staircase, down which I proceeded, step by +step; but just as I reached the bottom, perceived a little distance from +me, with her back turned towards me, a short, squat peasant on her knees, +belabouring with a brush the well waxed floor; to pass therefore, +unobserved was impossible, so that I did not hesitate to address her, and +endeavour to interest her in my behalf, and enlist her as my guide. + +"Bon jour, ma chere," said I in a soft insinuating tone; she did not hear +me, so I repeated, + +"Bon jour, ma chere, bon jour." + +Upon this she turned round, and looking fixedly at me for a second, +called out in a thick pathos, "Ah, le bon Dieu! qu'il est drole comme ca, +Francois, savez vous, mais ce n'est pas Francois;" saying which, she +sprang from her kneeling position to her feet, and with a speed that her +shape and sabots seemed little to promise, rushed down the stairs as if +she had seen the devil himself. + +"Why, what is the matter with the woman?" said I, "surely if I am not +Francois--which God be thanked is true--yet I cannot look so frightful as +all this would imply." I had not much time given me for consideration +now, for before I had well deciphered the number over a door before me, +the loud noise of several voices on the floor beneath attracted my +attention, and the moment after the heavy tramp of feet followed, and in +an instant the gallery was thronged by the men and women of the house +--waiters, hostlers, cooks, scullions, filles de chambre, mingled with +gens-d'armes, peasants, and town's people, all eagerly forcing their way +up stairs; yet all on arriving at the landing-place, seemed disposed to +keep at a respectful distance, and bundling themselves at one end of the +corridor, while I, feelingly alive to the ridiculous appearance I made, +occupied the other--the gravity with which they seemed at first disposed +to regard me soon gave way, and peal after peal of laughter broke out, +and young and old, men and women, even to the most farouche gens-d'armes, +all appearing incapable of controlling the desire for merriment my most +singular figure inspired; and unfortunately this emotion seemed to +promise no very speedy conclusion; for the jokes and witticisms made upon +my appearance threatened to renew the festivities, ad libitum. + +"Regardez donc ses epaules," said one. + +"Ah, mon Dieu! Il me fait l'idee d'une grenouille aves ses jambes +jaunes," cried another. + +"Il vaut son pesant de fromage pour une Vaudeville," said the director of +the strolling theatre of the place. + +"I'll give seventy francs a week, 'd'appointment,' and 'Scribe' shall +write a piece express for himself, if he'll take it." + +"May the devil fly away with your grinning baboon faces," said I, as I +rushed up the stairs again, pursued by the mob at full cry; scarcely, +however, had I reached the top step, when the rough hand of the +gen-d'arme seized me by the shoulder, while he said in a low, husky +voice, "c'est inutile, Monsieur, you cannot escape--the thing was well +contrived, it is true; but the gens-d'armes of France are not easily +outwitted, and you could not have long avoided detection, even in that +dress." It was my turn to laugh now, which, to their very great +amazement, I did, loud and long; that I should have thought my present +costume could ever have been the means of screening me from observation, +however it might have been calculated to attract it, was rather too +absurd a supposition even for the mayor of a village to entertain; +besides, it only now occurred to me that I was figuring in the character +of a prisoner. The continued peals of laughing which this mistake on +their part elicited from me seemed to afford but slight pleasure to my +captor, who gruffly said-- + +"When you have done amusing yourself, mon ami, perhaps you will do us the +favour to come before the mayor." + +"Certainly," I replied; "but you will first permit me to resume my own +clothes, I am quite sick of masquerading 'en postillion.'" + +"Not so fast, my friend," said the suspicious old follower of Fouche +--"not so fast; it is but right the maire should see you in the disguise +you attempted your escape in. It must be especially mentioned in the +proces verbal." + +"Well, this is becoming too ludicrous," said I. "It need not take five +minutes to satisfy you why, how, and where, I put on these confounded +rags--" + +"Then tell it to the maire, at the Bureau." + +"But for that purpose it is not necessary I should be conducted through +the streets in broad day, to be laughed at. No, positively, I'll not go. +In my own dress I'll accompany you with pleasure." + +"Victor, Henri, Guillame," said the gen-d'arme, addressing his +companions, who immediately closed round me. "You see," added he, "there +is no use in resisting." + +Need I recount my own shame and ineffable disgrace? Alas! it is too, +too true. Harry Lorrequer--whom Stultze entreated to wear his coats, +the ornament of Hyde Park, the last appeal in dress, fashion, and +equipage--was obliged to parade through the mob of a market-town in +France, with four gens-d'armes for his companions, and he himself habited +in a mongrel character--half postillion, half Delaware Indian. The +incessant yells of laughter--the screams of the children, and the +outpouring of every species of sarcasm and ridicule, at my expense, were +not all--for, as I emerged from the porte-chochere I saw Isabella in the +window: her eyes were red with weeping; but no sooner had she beheld me, +than she broke out into a fit of laughter that was audible even in the +street. + +Rage had now taken such a hold upon me, that I forgot my ridiculous +appearance in my thirst for vengeance. I marched on through the grinning +crowd, with the step of a martyr. I suppose my heroic bearing and +warlike deportment must have heightened the drollery of the scene; for +the devils only laughed the more. The bureau of the maire could not +contain one-tenth of the anxious and curious individuals who thronged +the entrance, and for about twenty minutes the whole efforts of the +gens-d'armes were little enough to keep order and maintain silence. At +length the maire made his appearance, and accustomed as he had been for +a long life to scenes of an absurd and extraordinary nature, yet the +ridicule of my look and costume was too much, and he laughed outright. +This was of course the signal for renewed mirth for the crowd, while +those without doors, infected by the example, took up the jest, and I +had the pleasure of a short calculation, a la Babbage, of how many +maxillary jaws were at that same moment wagging at my expense. + +However, the examination commenced; and I at length obtained an +opportunity of explaining under what circumstances I had left my room, +and how and why I had been induced to don this confounded cause of all my +misery. + +"This may be very true," said the mayor, "as it is very plausible; if you +have evidence to prove what you have stated--" + +"If it's evidence only is wanting, Mr. Maire, I'll confirm one part of +the story," said a voice in the crowd, in an accent and tone that assured +me the speaker was the injured proprietor of the stolen blankets. I +turned round hastily to look at my victim, and what was my surprise to +recognize a very old Dublin acquaintance, Mr. Fitzmaurice O'Leary. + +"Good morning, Mr. Lorrequer," said he; "this is mighty like our ould +practices in College-green; but upon my conscience the maire has the +advantage of Gabbet. It's lucky for you I know his worship, as we'd call +him at home, or this might be a serious business. Nothing would persuade +them that you were not Lucien Buonaparte, or the iron mask, or something +of that sort, if they took it into their heads." + +Mr. O'Leary was as good as his word. In a species of French, that I'd +venture to say would be perfectly intelligible in Mullingar, he contrived +to explain to the maire that I was neither a runaway nor a swindler, but +a very old friend of his, and consequently sans reproche. The official +was now as profuse of his civilities as he had before been of his +suspicions, and most hospitably pressed us to stay for breakfast. This, +for many reasons, I was obliged to decline--not the least of which was, +my impatience to get out of my present costume. We accordingly procured a +carriage, and I returned to the hotel, screened from the gaze but still +accompanied by the shouts of the mob, who evidently took a most lively +interest in the entire proceeding. + +I lost no time in changing my costume, and was about to descend +to the saloon, when the master of the house came to inform me that +Mrs. Bingham's courier had arrived with the carriage, and that she +expected us at Amiens as soon as possible. + +"That is all right. Now, Mr. O'Leary, I must pray you to forgive +all the liberty I have taken with you, and also permit me to defer the +explanation of many circumstances which seem at present strange, till--" + +"Till sine die, if the story be a long one, my dear sir--there's nothing +I hate so much, except cold punch." + +"You are going to Paris," said I; "is it not so?" + +"Yes, I'm thinking of it. I was up at Trolhatten, in Norway, three weeks +ago, and I was obliged to leave it hastily, for I've an appointment with +a friend in Geneva." + +"Then how do you travel?" + +"On foot, just as you see, except that I've a tobacco bag up stairs, and +an umbrella." + +"Light equipment, certainly; but you must allow me to give you a set down +as far as Amiens, and also to present you to my friends there." + +To this Mr. O'Leary made no objection; and as Miss Bingham could not bear +any delay, in her anxiety to join her mother, we set out at once--the +only thing to mar my full enjoyment at the moment being the sight of the +identical vestments I had so lately figured in, bobbing up and down +before my eyes for the whole length of the stage, and leading +to innumerable mischievous allusions from my friend Mr. O'Leary, +which were far too much relished by my fair companion. + +At twelve we arrived at Amiens, when I presented my friend Mr. O'Leary to +Mrs. Bingham. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +MR. O'LEARY. + +At the conclusion of my last chapter I was about to introduce to my +reader's acquaintance my friend Mr. O'Leary; and, as he is destined to +occupy some place in the history of these Confessions, I may, perhaps, be +permitted to do so at more length than his intrinsic merit at first sight +might appear to warrant. + +Mr. O'Leary was, and I am induced to believe is, a particularly short, +fat, greasy-looking gentleman, with a head as free from phrenological +development as a billiard-ball, and a countenance which, in feature and +colour, nearly resembled the face of a cherub, carved in oak, as we see +them in old pulpits. + +Short as is his stature, his limbs compose the least part of it. His +hands and feet, forming some compensation by their ample proportions, +with short, thick fins, vulgarly called a cobbler's thumb. His voice +varying in cadence from a deep barytone, to a high falsetto, maintains +throughout the distinctive characteristic of a Dublin accent and +pronunciation, and he talks of the "Veel of Ovoca, and a beef-steek," +with some price of intonation. What part of the Island he came +originally from, or what may be his age, are questions I have the most +profound ignorance of; I have heard many anecdotes which would imply his +being what the French call "d'un age mur"--but his own observations are +generally limited to events occurring since the peace of "fifteen." To +his personal attractions, such as they are, he has never been solicitous +of contributing by the meretricious aids of dress. His coat, calculating +from its length of waist, and ample skirt, would fit Bumbo Green, while +his trowsers, being made of some cheap and shrinking material, have +gradually contracted their limits, and look now exactly like +knee-breeches, without the usual buttons at the bottom. + +These, with the addition of a pair of green spectacles, the glass of one +being absent, and permitting the look-out of a sharp, grey eye, twinkling +with drollery and good humour, form the most palpable of his externals. +In point of character, they who best knew him represented him as the +best-tempered, best-hearted fellow breathing; ever ready to assist a +friend, and always postponing his own plans and his own views, when he +had any, to the wishes and intentions of others. Among the many odd +things about him, was a constant preference to travelling on foot, and a +great passion for living abroad, both of which tastes he gratified, +although his size might seem to offer obstacles to the one, and his total +ignorance of every continental language, would appear to preclude the +other; with a great liking for tobacco, which he smoked all day--a +fondness for whist and malt liquors--his antipathies were few; so that +except when called upon to shave more than once in the week, or wash his +hands twice on the same day, it was difficult to disconcert him. His +fortune was very ample; but although his mode of living was neither very +ostentatious nor costly, he contrived always to spend his income. Such +was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, who, I must confess, +appeared strangely puzzled by his manner and appearance. This feeling, +however, soon wore off; and before he had spent the morning in their +company, he had made more way in their good graces, and gone farther to +establish intimacy, than many a more accomplished person, with an +unexceptionable coat and accurate whisker might have effected in +a fortnight. What were his gifts in this way, I am, alas, most +deplorably ignorant of; it was not, heaven knows, that he possessed any +conversational talent--of successful flattery he knew as much as a negro +does of the national debt--and yet the "bon-hommie" of his character +seemed to tell at once; and I never knew him fail in any one instance to +establish an interest for himself before he had completed the ordinary +period of a visit. + +I think it is Washington Irving who has so admirably depicted the +mortification of a dandy angler, who, with his beaver garnished with +brown hackles, his well-posed rod, polished gaff, and handsome +landing-net, with every thing befitting, spends his long summer day +whipping a trout stream without a rise or even a ripple to reward him, +while a ragged urchin, with a willow wand, and a bent pin, not ten yards +distant, is covering the greensward with myriads of speckled and scaly +backs, from one pound weight to four; so it is in every thing--"the race +is not to the swift;" the elements of success in life, whatever be the +object of pursuit, are very, very different from what we think them at +first sight, and so it was with Mr. O'Leary, and I have more than once +witnessed the triumph of his homely manner and blunt humour over the +more polished and well-bred taste of his competitors for favour; and +what might have been the limit to such success, heaven alone can tell, +if it were not that he laboured under a counter-balancing infirmity, +sufficient to have swamped a line-of-battle ship itself. It was simply +this--a most unfortunate propensity to talk of the wrong place, person, +or time, in any society he found himself; and this taste for the mal +apropos, extended so far, that no one ever ventured into company with +him as his friend, without trembling for the result; but even this, I +believe his only fault, resulted from the natural goodness of his +character and intentions; for, believing as he did, in his honest +simplicity, that the arbitrary distinctions of class and rank were held +as cheaply by others as himself, he felt small scruple at recounting to +a duchess a scene in a cabaret, and with as little hesitation would he, +if asked, have sung the "Cruiskeen lawn," or the "Jug of Punch," after +Lablanche had finished the "Al Idea," from Figaro. 'Mauvaise honte,' he +had none; indeed I am not sure that he had any kind of shame whatever, +except possibly when detected with a coat that bore any appearance of +newness, or if overpersuaded to wear gloves, which he ever considered as +a special effeminacy. + +Such, in a few words, was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, +and how far he insinuated himself into their good graces, let the fact +tell, that on my return to the breakfast-room, after about an hour's +absence, I heard him detailing the particulars of a route they were to +take by his advice, and also learned that he had been offered and had +accepted a seat in their carriage to Paris. + +"Then I'll do myself the pleasure of joining your party, Mrs. Bingham," +said he. "Bingham, I think, madam, is your name." + +"Yes, Sir." + +"Any relation, may I ask, of a most dear friend of mine, of the same +name, from Currynaslattery, in the county Wexford?" + +"I am really not aware," said Mrs. Bingham. "My husband's family are, I +believe, many of them from that county." + +"Ah, what a pleasant fellow was Tom!" said Mr. O'Leary musingly, +and with that peculiar tone which made me tremble, for I knew well +that a reminiscence was coming. "A pleasant fellow indeed." + +"Is he alive, sir, now?" + +"I believe so, ma'am; but I hear the climate does not agree with him." + +"Ah, then, he's abroad! In Italy probably?" + +"No, ma'am, in Botany Bay. His brother, they say, might have saved him, +but he left poor Tom to his fate, for he was just then paying court to a +Miss Crow, I think, with a large fortune. Oh, Lord, what have I said, +it's always the luck of me!" The latter exclamation was the result of a +heavy saugh upon the floor, Mrs. Bingham having fallen in a faint--she +being the identical lady alluded to, and her husband the brother of +pleasant Tom Bingham. + +To hurl Mr. O'Leary out of the room by one hand, and ring the bell with +the other, was the work of a moment; and with proper care, and in due +time, Mrs. Bingham was brought to herself, when most fortunately, she +entirely forgot the cause of her sudden indisposition; and, of course, +neither her daughter nor myself suffered any clue to escape us which +might lead to its discovery. + +When we were once more upon the road, to efface if it might be necessary +any unpleasant recurrence to the late scene, I proceeded to give Mrs. +Bingham an account of my adventure at Chantraine, in which, of course, I +endeavoured to render my friend O'Leary all the honours of being laughed +at in preference to myself, laying little stress upon my masquerading in +the jack-boots. + +"You are quite right," said O'Leary, joining in the hearty laugh against +him, "quite right, I was always a very heavy sleeper--indeed if I wasn't +I wouldn't be here now, travelling about en garcon, free as air;" here he +heaved a sigh, which from its incongruity with his jovial look and happy +expression, threw us all into renewed laughter. + +"But why, Mr. O'Leary--what can your sleepiness have to do with such +tender recollections, for such, I am sure, that sigh bespeaks them?" + +"Ah! ma'am, it may seem strange, but it is nevertheless true, if it were +not for that unfortunate tendency, I should now be the happy possessor of +a most accomplished and amiable lady, and eight hundred per annum three +and a half per cent. stock." + +"You overslept yourself on the wedding-day, I suppose." + +"You shall hear, ma'am, the story is a very short one: It is now about +eight years ago, I was rambling through the south of France, and had just +reached Lyons, where the confounded pavement, that sticks up like pears, +with the point upwards, had compelled me to rest some days and recruit; +for this purpose I installed myself in the pension of Madame Gourgead, +Rue de Petits Carmes, a quiet house--where we dined at twelve, ten in +number, upon about two pounds of stewed beef, with garlic and carrots +--a light soup, being the water which accompanied the same to render it +tender in stewing--some preserved cherries, and an omelette, with a pint +bottle of Beaune, 6me qualite, I believe--a species of pyroligneous wine +made from the vine stalks, but pleasant in summer with your salad; then +we played dominos in the evening, or whist for sous points, leading +altogether a very quiet and virtuous existence, or as Madame herself +expressed it, 'une vie tout-a-fait patriarchale;' of this I cannot myself +affirm how far she was right in supposing the patriarchs did exactly like +us. But to proceed, in the same establishment there lived a widow whose +late husband had been a wine merchant at Dijon--he had also, I suppose +from residing in that country, been imitating the patriarchs, for he died +one day. Well, the lady was delayed at Lyons for some law business, and +thus it came about, that her husband's testament and the sharp paving +stones in the streets determined we should be acquainted. I cannot +express to you the delight of my fair countrywoman at finding that a +person who spoke English had arrived at the 'pension'--a feeling I myself +somewhat participated in; for to say truth, I was not at that time a very +great proficient in French. We soon became intimate, in less time +probably than it could otherwise have happened, for from the ignorance of +all the others of one word of English, I was enabled during dinner to say +many soft and tender things, which one does not usually venture on in +company. + +"I recounted my travels, and told various adventures of my wanderings, +till at last, from being merely amused, I found that my fair friend began +to be interested in my narratives; and frequently when passing the +bouillon to her, I have seen a tear in the corner of her eye: in a word, +'she loved me for the dangers I had passed,' as Othello says. Well, +laugh away if you like, but it's truth I am telling you." At this part +of Mr. O'Leary's story we all found it impossible to withstand the +ludicrous mock heroic of his face and tone, and laughed loud and long. +When we at length became silent he resumed--"Before three weeks had +passed over, I had proposed and was accepted, just your own way, Mr. +Lorrequer, taking the ball at the hop, the very same way you did at +Cheltenham, the time the lady jilted you, and ran off with your friend +Mr. Waller; I read it all in the news, though I was then in Norway +fishing." Here there was another interruption by a laugh, not, however, +at Mr. O'Leary's expense. I gave him a most menacing look, while he +continued--"the settlements were soon drawn up, and consisted, like all +great diplomatic documents, of a series of 'gains and compensations;' +thus, she was not to taste any thing stronger than kirsch wasser, or +Nantz brandy; and I limited myself to a pound of short-cut weekly, and so +on: but to proceed, the lady being a good Catholic, insisted upon being +married by a priest of her own persuasion, before the performance of the +ceremony at the British embassy in Paris; to this I could offer no +objection, and we were accordingly united in the holy bonds the same +morning, after signing the law papers." + +"Then, Mr. O'Leary, you are really a married man." + +"That's the very point I'm coming to, ma'am; for I've consulted all the +jurists upon the subject, and they never can agree. But you shall hear. +I despatched a polite note to Bishop Luscombe, and made every arrangement +for the approaching ceremony, took a quartier in the Rue Helder, near the +Estaminet, and looked forward with anxiety for the day which was to make +my happy; for our marriage in Lyons was only a kind of betrothal. Now, +my fair friend had but one difficulty remaining, poor dear soul--I +refrain from mentioning her name for delicacy sake; but poor dear Mrs. +Ram could not bear the notion of our going up to Paris in the same +conveyance, for long as she had lived abroad, she had avoided every thing +French, even the language, so she proposed that I should go in the early +'Diligence,' which starts at four-o'clock in the morning, while she took +her departure at nine; thus I should be some hours sooner in Paris, and +ready to receive her on her arriving; besides sparing her bashfulness all +reproach of our travelling together. It was no use my telling her that +I always travelled on foot, and hated a 'Diligence;' she coolly replied +that at our time of life we could not spare the time necessary for a +pilgrimage to Jerusalem, for so she supposed the journey from Lyons to +Paris to be; so fearing lest any doubt might be thrown upon the ardour of +my attachment, I yielded at once, remembering at the moment what my poor +friend Tom Bing--Oh Lord, I'm at it again!" + +"Sir, I did not hear." + +"Nothing, ma'am, I was just going to observe, that ladies of a certain +time of life, and widows especially, like a lover that seems a little +ardent or so, all the better." Here Mrs. Bingham blushed, her daughter +bridled, and I nearly suffocated with shame and suppressed laughter. + +"After a most tender farewell of my bride or wife, I don't know which, +I retired for the night with a mind vacillating between my hopes of +happiness and my fears for the result of a journey so foreign to all my +habits of travelling, and in which I could not but tremble at the many +casualties my habitual laziness and dislike to any hours but of my own +choosing might involve me in. + +"I had scarcely lain down in bed, ere these thoughts took such possession +of me, that sleep for once in my life was out of the question; and then +the misery of getting up at four in the morning--putting on your clothes +by the flickering light of the porter's candle--getting your boots on the +wrong feet, and all that kind of annoyance--I am sure I fretted myself +into the feeling of a downright martyr before an hour was over. Well at +least, thought I, one thing is well done,--I have been quite right in +coming to sleep here at the Messagerie Hotel, where the diligence starts +from, or the chances are ten to one that I never should wake till the +time was past. Now, however, they are sure to call me; so I may sleep +tranquilly till then. Meanwhile I had forgotten to pack my trunk--my +papers, &c. laying all about the room in a state of considerable +confusion. I rose at once with all the despatch I could muster; this +took a long time to effect, and it was nearly two o'clock ere I finished, +and sat down to smoke a solitary pipe,--the last, as I supposed it might +be my lot to enjoy for heaven knows how long, Mrs. R. having expressed, +rather late in our intimacy I confess, strong opinions against tobacco +within doors. + +"When I had finished my little sac of the 'weed,' the clock struck three, +and I started to think how little time I was destined to have in bed. +In bed! why, said I, there is no use thinking of it now, for I shall +scarcely have lain down ere I shall be obliged to get up again. So +thinking, I set about dressing myself for the road; and by the time I had +enveloped myself in a pair of long Hungarian gaiters, and a kurtcha of +sheep's wool, with a brown bear-skin outside, with a Welsh wig, and a +pair of large dark glass goggles to defend the eyes from the snow, I was +not only perfectly impervious to all effects of the weather, but so +thoroughly defended from any influence of sight or sound, that a volcano +might be hissing and thundering within ten yards of me, without +attracting my slightest attention. Now, I thought, instead of remaining +here, I'll just step down to the coach, and get snugly in the diligence, +and having secured the corner of the coupe, resign myself to sleep with +the certainty of not being left behind, and, probably, too, be some miles +on my journey before awaking. + +"I accordingly went down stairs, and to my surprise found, even at that +early hour, that many of the garcons of the house were stirring and +bustling about, getting all the luggage up in the huge wooden leviathan +that was to convey us on our road. There they stood, like bees around a +hive, clustering and buzzing, and all so engaged that with difficulty +could I get an answer to my question of, What diligence it was? 'La +diligence pour Paris, Monsieur.' + +"'Ah, all right then,' said I; so watching an opportunity to do so +unobserved, for I supposed they might have laughed at me, I stepped +quietly into the coupe; and amid the creaking of cordage, and the +thumping of feet on the roof, fell as sound asleep as ever I did in my +life--these sounds coming to my muffled ears, soft as the echoes on the +Rhine. When it was that I awoke I cannot say; but as I rubbed my eyes +and yawned after a most refreshing sleep, I perceived that it was still +quite dark all around, and that the diligence was standing before the +door of some inn and not moving. Ah, thought I, this is the first stage; +how naturally one always wakes at the change of horses,--a kind of +instinct implanted by Providence, I suppose, to direct us to a little +refreshment on the road. With these pious feelings I let down the glass, +and called out to the garcon for a glass of brandy and a cigar. While he +was bringing them, I had time to look about, and perceived, to my very +great delight, that I had the whole coupe to myself. 'Are there any +passengers coming in here?' said I, as the waiter came forward with my +petit verre. 'I should think not, sir,' said the fellow with a leer. +'Then I shall have the whole coupe to myself?' said I. 'Monsieur need +have no fear of being disturbed; I can safely assure him that he will +have no one there for the next twenty-four hours.' This was really +pleasant intelligence; so I chucked him a ten sous piece, and closing up +the window as the morning was cold, once more lay back to sleep with a +success that has never failed me. It was to a bright blue cloudless sky, +and the sharp clear air of a fine day in winter, that I at length opened +my eyes. I pulled out my watch, and discovered it was exactly two +o'clock; I next lowered the glass and looked about me, and very much to +my surprise discovered that the diligence was not moving, but standing +very peaceably in a very crowded congregation of other similar and +dissimilar conveyances, all of which seemed, I thought, to labour under +some physical ailment, some wanting a box, others a body, &c., &c. and in +fact suggesting the idea of an infirmary for old and disabled carriages +of either sex, mails and others. 'Oh, I have it,' cried I, 'we are +arrived at Mt. Geran, and they are all at dinner, and from my being alone +in the coupe, they have forgotten to call me.' I immediately opened the +door and stepped out into the innyard, crowded with conducteurs, grooms, +and ostlers, who, I thought, looked rather surprised at seeing me emerge +from the diligence. + +"'You did not know I was there,' said I, with a knowing wink at one of +them as I passed. + +"'Assurement non,' said the fellow with a laugh, that was the signal for +all the others to join in it. 'Is the table d'hote over?' said I, +regardless of the mirth around me. 'Monsieur is just in time,' said the +waiter, who happened to pass with a soup-tureen in his hand. 'Have the +goodness to step this way.' I had barely time to remark the close +resemblance of the waiter to the fellow who presented me with my brandy +and cigar in the morning, when he ushered me into a large room with about +forty persons sitting at a long table, evidently waiting with impatience +for the 'Potage' to begin their dinner. Whether it was they enjoyed the +joke of having neglected to call me, or that they were laughing at my +travelling costume, I cannot say, but the moment I came in, I could +perceive a general titter run through the assembly. 'Not too late, after +all, gentlemen,' said I, marching gravely up the table. + +"'Monsieur is in excellent time,' said the host, making room for me +beside his chair. Notwithstanding the incumbrance of my weighty +habiliments, I proceeded to do ample justice to the viands before me, +apologizing laughingly to the host, by pleading a traveller's appetite. + +"'Then you have perhaps come far this morning,' said a gentleman +opposite. + +"'Yes,' said I, 'I have been on the road since four o'clock.' + +"'And how are the roads?' said another. 'Very bad,' said I, 'the first +few stages from Lyons, afterwards much better.' This was said at a +venture, as I began to be ashamed of being always asleep before my +fellow-travellers. They did not seem, however, to understand me +perfectly; and one old fellow putting down his spectacles from his +forehead, leaned over and said: 'And where, may I ask, has Monsieur come +from this morning?' + +"'From Lyons,' said I, with the proud air of a man who has done a stout +feat, and is not ashamed of the exploit. + +"'From Lyons!' said one. 'From Lyons!' cried another. 'From Lyons!' +repeated a third. + +"'Yes,' said I; 'what the devil is so strange in it; travelling is so +quick now-a-days, one thinks nothing of twenty leagues before dinner.' + +"The infernal shout of laughing that followed my explanation is still in +my ears; from one end of the table to the other there was one continued +ha, ha, ha--from the greasy host to the little hunchbacked waiter, they +were all grinning away. + +"'And how did Monsieur travel?' said the old gentleman, who seemed to +carry on the prosecution against me. + +"'By the diligence, the "Aigle noir,"' said I, giving the name with some +pride, that I was not altogether ignorant of the conveyance. + +"'The you should certainly not complain of the roads,' said the host +chuckling; 'for the only journey that diligence has made this day has +been from the street-door to the inn-yard; for as they found when the +luggage was nearly packed that the axle was almost broken through, they +wheeled it round to the court, and prepared another for the travellers.' + +"'And where am I now?' said I. + +"'In Lyons,' said twenty voices, half choked with laughter at my +question. + +"I was thunderstruck at the news at first; but as I proceeded with my +dinner, I joined in the mirth of the party, which certainly was not +diminished on my telling them the object of my intended journey. + +"'I think, young man,' said the old fellow with the spectacles, 'that you +should take the occurrence as a warning of Providence that marriage will +not suit you.' I began to be of the same opinion;--but then there was +the jointure. To be sure, I was to give up tobacco; and perhaps I should +not be as free to ramble about as when en garcon. So taking all things +into consideration, I ordered in another bottle of burgundy, to drink +Mrs. Ram's health--got my passport vised for Barege--and set out for the +Pyrenees the same evening." + +"And have you never heard any thing more of the lady?" said Mrs. Bingham. + +"Oh, yes. She was faithful to the last; for I found out when at Rome +last winter that she had offered a reward for me in the newspapers, and +indeed had commenced a regular pursuit of me through the whole continent. +And to tell the real fact, I should not now fancy turning my steps +towards Paris, if I had not very tolerable information that she is in +full cry after me through the Wengen Alps, I having contrived a paragraph +in Galignani, to seduce her thither, and where, with the blessing of +Providence, if the snow set in early, she must pass the winter." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +PARIS. + +Nothing more worthy of recording occurred before our arrival at Meurice +on the third day of our journey. My friend O'Leary had, with his usual +good fortune, become indispensable to his new acquaintance, and it was +not altogether without some little lurking discontent that I perceived +how much less often my services were called in request since his having +joined our party; his information, notwithstanding its very scanty +extent, was continually relied upon, and his very imperfect French +everlastingly called into requisition to interpret a question for the +ladies. Yes, thought I, "Othello's occupation's gone;" one of two things +has certainly happened, either Mrs. Bingham and her daughter have noticed +my continued abstraction of mind, and have attributed it to the real +cause, the pre-occupation of my affections; or thinking, on the other +hand, that I am desperately in love with one or other of them, have +thought that a little show of preference to Mr. O'Leary may stimulate me +to a proposal at once. In either case I resolved to lose no time in +taking my leave, which there could be no difficulty in doing now, as the +ladies had reached their intended destination, and had numerous friends +in Paris to advise and assist them; besides that I had too long neglected +the real object of my trip, and should lose no time in finding out the +Callonbys, and at once learn what prospect of success awaited me in that +quarter. Leaving my fair friends then to refresh themselves after the +journey, and consigning Mr. O'Leary to the enjoyment of his meershaum, +through the aid of which he had rendered his apartment like a Dutch swamp +in autumn, the only portion of his own figure visible through the mist +being his short legs and heavy shoes. + +On reaching the house in the Rue de la Paix, where the Callonbys had +resided, I learned that they were still at Baden, and were not expected +in Paris for some weeks; that Lord Kilkee had arrived that morning, and +was then dining at the Embassy, having left an invitation for me to dine +with him on the following day, if I happened to call. As I turned from +the door, uncertain whither to turn my steps, I walked on unconsciously +towards the Boulevard, and occupied as I was, thinking over all the +chances before me, did not perceive where I stood till the bright glare +of a large gas lamp over my head apprised me that I was at the door of +the well known Salon des Etrangers, at the corner of the Rue Richelieu; +carriages, citadines, and vigilantes were crowding, crashing, and +clattering on all sides, as the host of fashion and the gaming-table were +hastening to their champ de bataille. Not being a member of the Salon, +and having little disposition to enter, if I had been, I stood for some +minutes looking at the crowd as it continued to press on towards the +splendid and brilliantly lighted stairs, which leads from the very street +to the rooms of the palace, for such, in the magnificence and luxury of +its decorations, it really is. As I was on the very eve of turning +away, a large and very handsome cab-horse turned the corner from the +balustrade, with the most perfect appointment of harness and carriage +I had seen for a long time. + +While I continued to admire the taste and propriety of the equipage, a +young man in deep mourning sprung from the inside and stood upon the +pavement before me. "A deux heures, Charles," said he to his servant, +as the cab turned slowly around. The voice struck me as well known. I +waited till he approached the lamp, to catch a glimpse of the face; and +what was my surprise to recognise my cousin, Guy Lorrequer of the 10th, +whom I had not met with for six years before. My first impulse was not +to make myself known to him. Our mutual position with regard to Lady +Jane was so much a mystery, as regarded myself, that I feared the result +of any meeting, until I was sufficiently aware of how matters stood, and +whether we were to meet as friends and relations, or rivals, and +consequently enemies. + +Before I had time to take my resolution, Guy had recognised me, and +seizing me by the hand with both his, called, "Harry, my old friend, how +are you? how long have you been here, and never to call on me? Why man, +what is the meaning of this?" Before I had time to say that I was only a +few hours in Paris, he again interrupted me by saying: "And how comes it +that you are not in mourning? You must surely have heard it." + +"Heard what?" I cried, nearly hoarse from agitation. "Our poor old +friend, Sir Guy, didn't you know, is dead." Only those who have felt how +strong the ties of kindred are, as they decrease in number, can tell how +this news fell upon my heart. All my poor uncle's kindnesses came one by +one full upon my memory; his affectionate letters of advice; his +well-meant chidings, too, even dearer to me than his praise and approval, +completely unmanned me; and I stood speechless and powerless before my +cousin as he continued to detail to me the rapid progress of Sir Guy's +malady, and attack of gout in the head, which carried him off in three +days. Letters had been sent to me in different places, but none reached; +and at the very moment the clerk of my uncle's lawyer was in pursuit of +me through the highlands, where some mistaken information had induced him +to follow me. + +"You are, therefore," continued Guy, "unaware that our uncle has dealt so +fairly by you, and indeed by both of us; I have got the Somersetshire +estates, which go with the baronetcy; but the Cumberland property is all +yours; and I heartily wish you joy of having nearly eight thousand per +annum, and one of the sweetest villas that ever man fancied on +Derwentwater. But come along here," continued he, and he led me through +the crowded corridor and up the wide stair. "I have much to tell you, +and we can be perfectly alone here; no one will trouble themselves with +us." Unconscious of all around me, I followed Guy along the gilded and +glittering lobby, which led to the Salon, and it was only as the servant +in rich livery came forward to take my hat and cane that I remembered +where I was. Then the full sense of all I had been listening to rushed +upon me, and the unfitness, and indeed the indecency of the place for +such communications as we were engaged in, came most forcibly before me. +Sir Guy, it is true, had always preferred my cousin to me; he it was who +was always destined to succeed both to his title and his estates, and his +wildness and extravagance had ever met with a milder rebuke and weaker +chastisement than my follies and my misfortunes. Yet still he was my +last remaining relative; the only one I possessed in all the world to +whom in any difficulty or trial I had to look up; and I felt, in the very +midst of my newly acquired wealth and riches, poorer and more alone than +ever I had done in my lifetime. I followed Guy to a small and dimly +lighted cabinet off the great salon, where, having seated ourselves, he +proceeded to detail to me the various events which a few short weeks had +accomplished. Of himself he spoke but little, and never once alluded to +the Callonbys at all; indeed all I could learn was that he had left the +army, and purposed remaining for the winter at Paris, where he appeared +to have entered into all its gaiety and dissipation at once. + +"Of course," said he, "you will give up 'sodgering' now; at the best it +is but poor sport after five and twenty, and is perfectly unendurable +when a man has the means of pushing himself in the gay world; and now, +Harry, let us mix a little among the mob here; for Messieurs les +Banquiers don't hold people in estimation who come here only for the +'chapons au riz.' and the champagne glacee, as we should seem to do were +we to stay here much longer." + +Such was the whirl of my thoughts, and so great the confusion in my ideas +from all I had just heard, that I felt myself implicitly following every +direction of my cousin with a child-like obedience, of the full extent +of which I became only conscious when I found myself seated at the table +of the Salon, between my cousin Guy and an old, hard-visaged, +pale-countenanced man, who he told me in a whisper was Vilelle the +Minister. + +What a study for the man who would watch the passions and emotions of his +fellow-men, would the table of a rouge et noir gambling-house present +--the skill and dexterity which games of other kinds require, being here +wanting, leave the player free to the full abandonment of the passion. +The interest is not a gradually increasing or vacillating one, as fortune +and knowledge of the game favour; the result is uninfluenced by any thing +of his doing; with the last turned card of the croupier is he rich or +ruined; and thus in the very abstraction of the anxiety is this the most +painfully exciting of all gambling whatever; the very rattle of the +dice-box to the hazard player is a relief; and the thought that he is in +some way instrumental in his good or bad fortune gives a turn to his +thoughts. There is something so like the inevitable character of fate +associated with the result of a chance, which you can in no way affect +or avert, that I have, notwithstanding a strong bias for play, ever +dreaded and avoided the rouge et noir table; hitherto prudential motives +had their share in the resolve; a small loss at play becomes a matter of +importance to a sub in a marching regiment; and therefore I was firm in +my determination to avoid the gambling-table. Now my fortunes were +altered; and as I looked at the heap of shining louis d'or, which Guy +pushed before me in exchange for a billet de banque of large amount, I +felt the full importance of my altered position, mingling with the old +and long practised prejudices which years had been accumulating to fix. +There is besides some wonderful fascination to most men in the very +aspect of high play: to pit your fortune against that of another--to see +whether or not your luck shall not exceed some others--are feelings that +have a place in most bosoms, and are certainly, if not naturally +existing, most easily generated in the bustle and excitement of the +gambling-house. The splendour of the decorations; the rich profusion of +gilded ornaments; the large and gorgeously framed mirrors; the sparkling +lustres; mingling their effect with the perfumed air of the apartment, +filled with orange trees and other aromatic shrubs; the dress of the +company, among whom were many ladies in costumes not inferior to those +of a court; the glitter of diamonds; the sparkle of stars and +decorations, rendered more magical by knowing that the wearers were +names in history. There, with his round but ample shoulder, and large +massive head, covered with long snow-white hair, stands Talleyrand, the +maker and unmaker of kings, watching with a look of ill-concealed +anxiety the progress of his game. Here is Soult, with his dogged look +and beetled brow; there stands Balzac the author, his gains here are +less derived from the betting than the bettors; he is evidently making +his own of some of them, while in the seeming bon hommie of his careless +manners and easy abandon, they scruple not to trust him with anecdotes +and traits, that from the crucible of his fiery imagination come forth, +like the purified gold from the furnace. And there, look at that old and +weather-beaten man, with grey eyebrows, and moustaches, who throws from +the breast-pocket of his frock ever and anon, a handful of gold pieces +upon the table; he evidently neither knows nor cares for the amount, for +the banker himself is obliged to count over the stake for him--that is +Blucher, the never-wanting attendant at the Salon; he has been an +immense loser, but plays on with the same stern perseverance with which +he would pour his bold cavalry through a ravine torn by artillery; he +stands by the still waning chance with a courage that never falters. + +One strong feature of the levelling character of a taste for play has +never ceased to impress me most forcibly--not only do the individual +peculiarities of the man give way before the all-absorbing passion--but +stranger still, the very boldest traits of nationality even fade and +disappear before it; and man seems, under the high-pressure power of this +greatest of all stimulants, resolved into a most abstract state. + +Among all the traits which distinguish Frenchmen from natives of every +country, none is more prominent than a kind of never-failing elasticity +of temperament, which seems almost to defy all the power of misfortune to +depress. Let what will happen, the Frenchman seems to possess some +strong resource within himself, in his ardent temperament, upon which he +can draw at will; and whether on the day after a defeat, the moment of +being deceived in his strongest hopes of returned affection--the +overthrow of some long-cherished wish--it matters not--he never gives way +entirely; but see him at the gaming-table--watch the intense, the aching +anxiety with which his eye follows every card as it falls from the hand +of the croupier--behold the look of cold despair that tracks his stake as +the banker rakes it in among his gains--and you will at once perceive +that here, at least, his wonted powers fail him. No jest escapes the +lips of one, that would badinet upon the steps of the guillotine. The +mocker who would jeer at the torments of revolution, stands like a coward +quailing before the impassive eye and pale cheek of a croupier. While +I continued to occupy myself by observing the different groups about me, +I had been almost mechanically following the game, placing at each deal +some gold upon the table; the result however had interested me so +slightly, that it was only by remarking the attention my game had excited +in others, that my own was drawn towards it. I then perceived that I had +permitted my winnings to accumulate upon the board, and that in the very +deal then commencing, I had a stake of nearly five hundred pounds upon +the deal. + +"Faites votre jeu, le jeu est fait," said the croupier, "trente deux." + +"You have lost, by Jove," said Guy, in a low whisper, in which I could +detect some trait of agitation. + +"Trente et une," added the croupier. "Rouge perd, et couleur." + +There was a regular buz of wonder through the room at my extraordinary +luck, for thus, with every chance against me, I had won again. + +As the croupier placed the billets de banque upon the table, I overheard +the muttered commendations of an old veteran behind me, upon the coolness +and judgment of my play; so much for fortune, thought I, my judgment +consists in a perfect ignorance of the chances, and my coolness is merely +a thorough indifference to success; whether it was now that the flattery +had its effect upon me, or that the passion for play, so long dormant, +had suddenly seized hold upon me, I know not, but my attention became +from that moment rivetted upon the game, and I played every deal. Guy, +who had been from the first betting with the indifferent success which I +have so often observed to attend upon the calculations of old and +experienced gamblers, now gave up, and employed himself merely in +watching my game. + +"Harry," said he at last, "I am completely puzzled as to whether you are +merely throwing down your louis at hazard, or are not the deepest player +I have ever met with." + +"You shall see," said I, as I stooped over towards the banker, and +whispered, "how far is the betting permitted?" + +"Fifteen thousand francs," said the croupier, with a look of surprise. + +"Then be it," said I; "quinze mille francs, rouge." + +In a moment the rouge won, and the second deal I repeated the bet, and so +continuing on with the like success; when I was preparing my rouleau for +the fifth, the banquier rose, and saying-- + +"Messiers, la banque est fermee pour ce soir," proceeded to lock his +casette, and close the table. + +"You are satisfied now," said Guy, rising, "you see you have broke the +banque, and a very pretty incident to commence with your first +introduction to a campaign in Paris." + +Having changed my gold for notes, I stuffed them, with an air of +well-affected carelessness, into my pocket, and strolled through the +Salon, where I had now become an object of considerably more interest +than all the marshals and ministers about me. + +"Now, Hal," said Guy, "I'll just order our supper in the cabinet, and +join you in a moment." + +As I remained for some minutes awaiting Guy's return, my attention was +drawn towards a crowd, in a smaller salon, among whom the usual silent +decorum of the play-table seemed held in but small respect, for every +instant some burst of hearty laughter, or some open expression of joy or +anger burst forth, by which I immediately perceived that they were the +votaries of the roulette table, a game at which the strict propriety and +etiquette ever maintained at rouge et noir, are never exacted. As I +pressed nearer, to discover the cause of the mirth, which every moment +seemed to augment, guess my surprise to perceive among the foremost rank +of the players, my acquaintance, Mr. O'Leary, whom I at that moment +believed to be solacing himself with his meershaum at Meurice. My +astonishment at how he obtained admission to the Salon was even less than +my fear of his recognising me. At no time is it agreeable to find that +the man who is regarded as the buffo of a party turns out to be your +friend, but still less is this so, when the individual claiming +acquaintance with you presents any striking absurdity in his dress or +manner, strongly at contrast with the persons and things about him; and +thus it now happened--Mr. O'Leary's external man, as we met him on the +Calais road, with its various accompaniments of blouse-cap, spectacles, +and tobacco-pipe, were nothing very outre or remarkable, but when the +same figure presented itself among the elegans of the Parisian world, +redolent of eau de Portugal, and superb in the glories of brocade +waistcoats and velvet coats, the thing was too absurd, and I longed to +steal away before any chance should present itself of a recognition. +This, however, was impossible, as the crowd from the other table were all +gathered round us, and I was obliged to stand fast, and trust that the +excitement of the game, in which he appeared to be thoroughly occupied, +might keep his eye fixed on another quarter; I now observed that the same +scene in which I had so lately been occupied at the rouge et noir table, +was enacting here, under rather different circumstances. Mr. O'Leary was +the only player, as I had just been--not, however, because his success +absorbed all the interest of the bystanders, but that, unfortunately, his +constant want of it elicited some strong expression of discontent and +mistrust from him, which excited the loud laughter of the others; but of +which, from his great anxiety in his game, he seemed totally unconscious. + +"Faites votre jeu, Messieurs," said the croupier. + +"Wait a bit till I change this," said Mr. O'Leary, producing an English +sovereign; the action interpreted his wishes, and the money was converted +into coupons de jeu. + +I now discovered one great cause of the mirth of the bystanders, at least +the English portion of them. Mr. O'Leary, when placing his money upon +the table, observed the singular practice of announcing aloud the amount +of his bet, which, for his own information, he not only reduced to +English but also Irish currency; thus the stillness of the room was every +instant broken by a strong Irish accent pronouncing something of this +sort--"five francs," "four and a penny"--"ten francs," "eight and three +ha'pence." The amusement thus caused was increased by the excitement his +losses threw him into. He now ceased to play for several times, when at +last, he made an offering of his usual stake. + +"Perd," said the croupier, raking in the piece with a contemptuous air +at the smallness of the bet, and in no way pleased that the interest +Mr. O'Leary excited should prevent the other players from betting. + +"Perd," said O'Leary, "again. Divil another song you sing than 'perd,' +and I'm not quite clear you're not cheating all the while--only, God help +you if you are!" + +As he so said, the head of a huge black-thorn stick was half protruded +across the table, causing renewed mirth; for, among other regulations, +every cane, however trifling, is always demanded at the door; and thus a +new subject of astonishment arose as to how he had succeeded in carrying +it with him into the salon. + +"Here's at you again," said O'Leary, regardless of the laughter, and +covering three or four numbers with his jetons. + +Round went the ball once more, and once more he lost. + +"Look now, divil a lie in it, he makes them go wherever he pleases. I'll +take a turn now at the tables; fair play's a jewel--and we'll see how +you'll get on." + +So saying, he proceeded to insinuate himself into the chair of the +croupier, whom he proposed to supersede by no very gentle means. This +was of course resisted, and as the loud mirth of the bystanders grew more +and more boisterous, the cries of "a la porte, a la porte," from the +friends of the bank, rung through the crowd. + +"Go it, Pat--go it, Pat," said Guy, over my shoulder, who seemed to take +a prodigious interest in the proceedings. + +At this unexpected recognition of his nativity, for Mr. O'Leary never +suspected he could be discovered by his accent; he looked across the +table, and caught my eye at once. + +"Oh, I'm safe now! stand by me, Mr. Lorrequer, and we'll clear the room." + +So saying, and without any further provocation, he upset the croupier, +chair and all, with one sudden jerk upon the floor, and giving a +tremendous kick to the casette, sent all the five-franc pieces flying +over him; he then jumped upon the table, and brandishing his black-thorn +through the ormolu lustre, scattered the wax-lights on all sides, +accompanying the exploit by a yell that would have called up all +Connemara at midnight, if it had only been heard there; in an instant, +the gens d'armes, always sufficiently near to be called in if required, +came pouring into the room, and supposing the whole affair had been a +preconcerted thing to obtain possession of the money in the bank, +commenced capturing different members of the company who appeared, by +enjoying the confusion, to be favouring and assisting it. My cousin Guy +was one of the first so treated--a proceeding to which he responded by an +appeal rather in favour with most Englishmen, and at once knocked down +the gen d'arme; this was the signal for a general engagement, and +accordingly, before an explanation could possibly be attempted, a most +terrific combat ensued. The Frenchmen in the room siding with the gen +d'armerie, and making common cause against the English; who, although +greatly inferior in number, possessed considerable advantage, from long +habit in street-rows and boxing encounters. As for myself, I had the +good fortune to be pitted against a very pursy and unwieldy Frenchman, +who sacre'd to admiration, but never put in a single blow at me; while, +therefore, I amused myself practising what old Cribb called "the one, +two," upon his fat carcase, I had abundant time and opportunity to watch +all that was doing about me, and truly a more ludicrous affair I never +beheld. Imagine about fifteen or sixteen young Englishmen, most of them +powerful, athletic fellows, driving an indiscriminate mob of about five +times their number before them, who, with courage enough to resist, were +yet so totally ignorant of the boxing art, that they retreated, +pell-mell, before the battering phalanx of their sturdy opponents--the +most ludicrous figure of all being Mr. O'Leary himself, who, standing +upon the table, laid about him with a brass lustre that he had unstrung, +and did considerable mischief with this novel instrument of warfare, +crying out the entire time, "murder every mother's son of them," "give +them another taste of Waterloo." Just as he had uttered the last +patriotic sentiment, he received a slight admonition from behind, by the +point of a gen d'arme's sword, which made him leap from the table with +the alacrity of a harlequin, and come plump down among the thickest of +the fray. My attention was now directed elsewhere, for above all the +din and "tapage" of the encounter I could plainly hear the row-dow-dow +of the drums, and the measured tread of troops approaching, and at once +guessed that a reinforcement of the gen d'armerie were coming up. +Behind me there was a large window, with a heavy scarlet curtain before +it; my resolution was at once taken, I floored my antagonist, whom I had +till now treated with the most merciful forbearance, and immediately +sprung behind the curtain. A second's consideration showed that in the +search that must ensue this would afford no refuge, so I at once opened +the sash, and endeavoured to ascertain at what height I was above the +ground beneath me; the night was so dark that I could see nothing, but +judging from the leaves and twigs that reached to the window, that it +was a garden beneath, and auguring from the perfumed smell of the +shrubs, that they could not be tall trees, I resolved to leap, a resolve +I had little time to come to, for the step of the soldiers was already +heard upon the stair. Fixing my hat then down upon my brows, and +buttoning my coat tightly, I let myself down from the window-stool by my +hands, and fell upon my legs in the soft earth of the garden, safe and +unhurt. From the increased clamour and din overhead, I could learn the +affray was at its height, and had little difficulty in detecting the +sonorous accent and wild threats of my friend Mr. O'Leary, high above +all the other sounds around him. I did not wait long, however, to enjoy +them; but at once set about securing my escape from my present bondage. +In this I had little difficulty, for I was directed by a light to a +small door, which, as I approached, found that it led into the den of +the Concierge, and also communicated by another door with the street. I +opened it, therefore, at once, and was in the act of opening the second, +when I felt myself seized by the collar by a strong hand; and on turning +round saw the sturdy figure of the Concierge himself, with a drawn +bayonet within a few inches of my throat, "Tenez, mon ami," said I +quietly, and placing half a dozen louis, some of my recent spoils, in +his hand, at once satisfied him that, even if I were a robber, I was at +least one that understood and respected the conveniences of society. He +at once relinquished his hold and dropped his weapon, and pulling off +his cap with one hand, to draw the cord which opened the Porte Cochere +with the other, bowed me politely to the street. I had scarcely had +time to insinuate myself into the dense mass of people whom the noise +and confusion within had assembled around the house, when the double +door of the building opened, and a file of gens d'armerie came forth, +leading between them my friend Mr. O'Leary and some others of the +rioters--among whom I rejoiced to find my cousin did not figure. If I +were to judge from his disordered habiliments and scarred visage, Mr. +O'Leary's resistance to the constituted authorities must have been a +vigorous one, and the drollery of his appearance was certainly not +decreased by his having lost the entire brim of his hat--the covering of +his head bearing, under these distressing circumstances, a strong +resemblance to a saucepan. + +As I could not at that moment contribute in any way to his rescue, I +determined on the following day to be present at his examination, and +render him all the assistance in my power. Meanwhile, I returned to +Meurice, thinking of every adventure of the evening much more than of my +own changed condition and altered fortunes. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +PARIS. + +The first thing which met my eye, when waking in the morning, after the +affair at the salon, was the rouleau of billets de banque which I had won +at play; and it took several minutes before I could persuade myself that +the entire recollection of the evening had any more solid foundation than +a heated brain and fevered imagination. The sudden spring, from being a +subaltern in the __th, with a few hundreds per annum--"pour tout potage," +to becoming the veritable proprietor of several thousands, with a +handsome house in Cumberland, was a consideration which I could scarcely +admit into my mind--so fearful was I, that the very first occurrence of +the day should dispel the illusion, and throw me back into the dull +reality which I was hoping to escape from. + +There is no adage more true than the old Latin one--"that what we wish, +we readily believe;" so, I had little difficulty in convincing myself +that all was as I desired--although, certainly, my confused memory of the +past evening contributed little to that conviction. It was, then, amid a +very whirl of anticipated pleasures, and new schemes for enjoying life, +that I sat down to a breakfast, at which, that I might lose no time in +commencing my race, I had ordered the most recherche viands which even +French cookery can accomplish for the occasion. + +My plans were soon decided upon. I resolved to remain only long enough +in Paris to provide myself with a comfortable travelling carriage--secure +a good courier--and start for Baden; when I trusted that my pretensions, +whatever favour they might have been once received with, would certainly +now, at least, be listened to with more prospect of being successful. + +I opened the Galignani's paper of the day, to direct me in my search, and +had scarcely read a few lines before a paragraph caught my eye, which not +a little amused me; it was headed--Serious riot at the Salon des +Etrangers, and attempt to rob the Bank:-- + +"Last evening, among the persons who presented themselves at the table of +this fashionable resort, were certain individuals, who, by their names +and dress bespoke any thing rather than the rank and condition of those +who usually resort there, and whose admission is still unexplained, +notwithstanding the efforts of the police to unravel the mystery. The +proprietors of the bank did not fail to remark these persons; but +scrupled, from fear of disturbing the propriety of the salon, to take the +necessary steps for their exclusion--reserving their attention to the +adoption of precautions against such intrusion in future--unfortunately, +as it turned out eventually, for, towards eleven o'clock, one of these +individuals, having lost a considerable sum at play, proceeded in a very +violent and outrageous manner to denounce the bank, and went so far as to +accuse the croupier of cheating. This language having failed to excite +the disturbance it was evidently intended to promote, was soon followed +up by a most dreadful personal attack upon the banquier, in which he was +thrown from his seat, and the cassette, containing several thousand +francs in gold and notes, immediately laid hold of. The confusion now +became considerable, and it was apparent, that the whole had been a +pre-concerted scheme. Several persons, leaping upon the table, +attempted to extinguish the great lustre of the salon, in which bold +attempt, they were most spiritedly resisted by some of the other players +and the gens-d'arme, who had by this time arrived in force. The riot +was quelled after a prolonged and desperate resistance, and the rioters, +with the exception of two, were captured, and conveyed to prison, where +they await the result of a judicial investigation--of which we shall not +fail to lay the particulars before our readers. + +"Since our going to press, we have learned that one of the ringleaders in +this vile scheme is a noted English escroc--a swindler, who was already +arrest at C____ for travelling with a false passport; but who contrives, +by some collusion with another of the gang, to evade the local +authorities. If this be the case, we trust he will speedily be detected +and brought to punishment." + +Whatever amusement I had found in reading the commencing portion of this +ridiculous misstatement, the allusion in the latter part by no means +afforded me equal pleasure; and I saw, in one rapid glance, how much +annoyance, and how many delays and impediments--a charge even of this +ridiculous nature, might give rise to in my present circumstances. My +passport, however, will settle all--thought I--as I thrust my hand +towards my pocket, in which I had placed it along with some letters. + +Guess my misery, to discover that the whole of the pocket had been cut +away, probably in the hope of obtaining the billets de banque I had won +at play, but which I had changed from that pocket to a breast one on +leaving the table. This at once led me to suspect that there might be +some truth in the suspicion of the newspaper writer of a pre-concerted +scheme, and at once explained to me what had much puzzled me before--the +extreme rapidity with which the elements of discord were propagated, for +the whole affair was the work of a few seconds. While I continued to +meditate on these matters, the waiter entered with a small note in an +envelope, which a commissionaire had just left at the hotel for me, and +went away, saying there was no answer. I opened it hastily, and read:-- + + "Dear H.--The confounded affair of last night has induced me to + leave this for a few days; besides that I have obtained a most + excellent reason for absenting myself in the presence of a black + eye, which will prevent my appearance in public for a week to come. + As you are a stranger here, you need not fear being detected. With + all its desagremens, I can't help laughing at the adventure, and I + am heartily glad to have had the opportunity of displaying old + Jackson's science upon those wretched gens-d'arme. + + "Your, truly, + "G.L." + +This, certainly, thought I, improves my position. Here is my cousin Guy +--the only one to whom, in any doubt or difficulty here, I could refer-- +here he is--flown, without letting me know where to address him or find +him out. I rung my bell hastily, and having written a line on my card, +requesting Lord Kilkee to come to me as soon as he could, despatched it +to the Rue de la Paix. The messenger soon returned with an answer, +that Lord Kilkee had been obliged to leave Paris late the evening before, +having received some important letters from Baden. My anxiety now became +greater. I did not know but that the moment I ventured to leave the +hotel I should be recognised by some of the witnesses of the evening's +fray; and all thoughts of succouring poor O'Leary were completely +forgotten in my fear for the annoyances the whole of this ridiculous +affair might involve me in. Without any decision as to my future steps, +I dressed myself, and proceeded to pay my respects to Mrs. Bingham and +her daughter, who were in the same hotel, and whom I had not seen since +our arrival. + +As I entered the drawing-room, I was surprised to find Miss Bingham +alone. She appeared to have been weeping--at least the efforts she made +to appear easy and in good spirits contrasted a good deal with the +expression of her features as I came in. To my inquiries for Mrs. +Bingham, I received for answer that the friends Mrs. Bingham had expected +having left a few days before for Baden, she had resolved on following +them, and had now merely driven out to make a few purchases before her +departure, which was to take place in the morning. + +There is something so sad in the thought of being deserted and left by +one's friends under any circumstances, that I cannot express how much +this intelligence affected me. It seemed, too, like the last stroke of +bad news filling up the full measure, that I was to be suddenly deprived +of the society of the very few friends about me, just as I stood most in +need of them. + +Whether or not Miss Bingham noticed my embarrassment, I cannot say; +but certainly she seemed not displeased, and there was in the +half-encouraging tone of her manner something which led me to suspect +that she was not dissatisfied with the impression her news seemed to +produce upon me. + +Without at all alluding to my own improved fortune, or to the events +of the preceding night, I began to talk over the coming journey, and +expressed my sincere regret that, having lost my passport under +circumstances which might create some delay in retrieving it, I could +not join their party as I should otherwise have done. + +Miss Bingham heard this speech with rather more emotion than so simple a +declaration was calculated to produce; and, while she threw down her eyes +beneath their long dark lashes, and coloured slightly, asked-- + +"And did you really wish to come with us?" + +"Undoubtedly," said I. + +"And is there no other objection than the passport?" + +"None whatever," said I, warming as I spoke, for the interest she +appeared to take in me completely upset all my calculations, besides that +I had never seen her looking so handsome, and that, as the French wisely +remark, "vaut toujours quelque chose." + +"Oh, then, pray come with us, which you can do, for mamma has just got +her passport for her nephew along with her own; and as we really don't +want him, nor he us, we shall both be better pleased to be free of each +other, and you can easily afterwards have your own forwarded to Baden by +post." + +"Ah, but," said I, "how shall I be certain, if I take so flattering an +offer, that you will forgive me for filling up the place of the dear +cousin; for, if I conjecture aright, it is 'Le Cher Edouard' that +purposes to be your companion." + +"Yes, you have guessed quite correctly; but you must not tax me with +inconsistency, but really I have grown quite tired of my poor cousin, +since I saw him last night." + +"And you used to admire him prodigiously." + +"Well, well, that is all true, but I do so no longer." + +"Eh! perche," said I, looking cunningly in her eye. + +"For reasons that Mr. Lorrequer shall never know if he has to ask them," +said the poor girl, covering her eyes with her hands, and sobbing +bitterly. + +What I thought, said, or did upon this occasion, with all my most sincere +desire to make a "clean breast of it in these confessions," I know not; +but this I do know, that two hours after, I found myself still sitting +upon the sofa beside Miss Bingham, whom I had been calling Emily all the +while, and talking more of personal matters and my own circumstances than +is ever safe or prudent for a young man to do with any lady under the age +of his mother. + +All that I can now remember of this interview, is the fact of having +arranged my departure in the manner proposed by Miss Bingham--a +proposition to which I acceded with an affectation of satisfaction that +I fear went very far to deceive my fair friend. Not that the pleasure +I felt in the prospect was altogether feigned; but certainly the habit +of being led away by the whim and temper of the moment had so much become +part of my nature, that I had long since despaired of ever guarding +myself against the propensity I had acquired, of following every lead +which any one might throw out for me. And thus, as poor Harry Lorrequer +was ever the first man to get into a row at the suggestion of a friend, +so he only waited the least possible pressing on any occasion, to involve +himself in any scrape or misfortune that presented itself, provided there +was only some one good enough to advise him to do so. + +As I entered my own room, to make preparations for my departure, I could +not help thinking over all the events thus crowded into the space of a +few hours. My sudden possession of wealth--my prospects at Callonby +still undecided--my scrape at the Salon--my late interview with Miss +Bingham, in which I had only stopped short of a proposal to marry, were +almost sufficient to occupy any reasonable mind; and so I was beginning +to suspect, when the waiter informed me that the Commissaire of Police +was in waiting below, and wished to speak to me. Affecting some surprise +at the request which I at once perceived the object of, I desired him to +be introduced. I was quite correct in my guess. The information of my +being concerned in the affair at the Salon had been communicated to the +authorities, and the Commissaire had orders to obtain bail for my +appearance at the Tribunal de Justice, on that day week, or commit me at +once to prison. The Commissaire politely gave me till evening to procure +the required bail, satisfying himself that he could adopt measures to +prevent my escape, and took his leave. He had scarcely gone when Mr. +Edward Bingham was announced--the reason for this visit I could not so +easily divine; but I had little time allowed for my conjectures, as the +same instant a very smart, dapper little gentleman presented himself, +dressed in all the extravagance of French mode. His hair, which was +permitted to curl upon his shoulders, was divided along the middle of the +head; his moustaches were slightly upturned and carefully waxed, and his +small chin-tuft or Henri-quatre most gracefully pointed; he wore three +most happily contrasting coloured waistcoats, and spurs of glittering +brass. His visit was of scarcely five minutes' duration; but was +evidently the opening of a breaching battery by the Bingham family +in all form--the object of which I could at least guess at. + +My embarrassments were not destined to end here; for scarcely had I +returned Mr. Bingham's eighth salutation at the head of the staircase, +when another individual presented himself before me. This figure was in +every respect the opposite of my last visitor. Although framed perfectly +upon the late Parisian school of dandyism, his, however, was the "ecole +militaire." Le Capitaine Eugene de Joncourt, for so he introduced +himself, was a portly personage, of about five-and-thirty or forty years +of age, with that mixture of bon hommie and ferocity in his features +which the soldiers of Napoleon's army either affected or possessed +naturally. His features, which were handsome, and the expression of +which was pleasing, were, as it seemed, perverted, by the warlike turn of +a most terrific pair of whiskers and moustaches, from their naturally +good-humoured bent; and the practised frown and quick turn of his dark +eye were evidently only the acquired advantages of his military career; +a handsome mouth, with singularly regular and good teeth, took much away +from the farouche look of the upper part of his face; and contributed, +with the aid of a most pleasing voice, to impress you in his favour; his +dress was a blue braided frock, decorated with the cordon of the legion; +but neither these, nor the clink of his long cavalry spurs, were +necessary to convince you that the man was a soldier; besides that, there +was that mixture of urbanity and aplomb in his manner which showed him to +be perfectly accustomed to the usages of the best society. + +"May I beg to know," said he, as he seated himself slowly, "if this card +contains your name and address," handing me at the same moment one of my +visiting cards. I immediately replied in the affirmative. + +"You are then in the English service?" + +"Yes." + +"Then, may I entreat your pardon for the trouble of these questions, and +explain the reason of my visit. I am the friend of Le Baron D'Haulpenne, +with whom you had the altercation last night in the Salon, and in whose +name I have come to request the address of a friend on your part." + +Ho, ho, thought I, the Baron is then the stout gentleman that I pummelled +so unmercifully near the window; but how came he by my card; and besides, +in a row of that kind, I am not aware how far the matter can be conceived +to go farther, than what happens at the moment. These were the thoughts +of a second of time, and before I could reply any thing, the captain +resumed. + +"You seem to have forgotten the circumstance, and so indeed should I like +to do; but unfortunately D'Haulpenne says that you struck him with your +walking-cane, so you know, under such a state of things, there is but one +course." + +"But gently," added I, "I had no cane whatever the last evening." + +"Oh! I beg pardon," interrupted he; "but my friend is most positive in +his account, and describes the altercation as having continued from the +Salon to the street, when you struck him, and at the same time threw him +your card. Two of our officers were also present; and although, as it +appears from your present forgetfulness, that the thing took place in the +heat and excitement of the moment, still--" + +"But still," said I, catching up his last words, "I never did strike the +gentleman as you describe--never had any altercation in the street--and--" + +"Is that your address?" said the Frenchman, with a slight bow. + +"Yes, certainly it is." + +"Why then," said he, with a slight curl of his upper lip--half smile, +half derision-- + +"Oh! make yourself perfectly easy," I replied. "If any one has by an +accident made use of my name, it shall not suffer by such a mistake. +I shall be quite at your service, the moment I can find out a friend to +refer you to." + +I had much difficulty to utter these few words with a suitable degree of +temper, so stung was I by the insolent demeanour of the Frenchman, whose +coolness and urbanity seemed only to increase every moment. + +"Then I have the honour to salute you," said he, rising with great +mildness in his voice; "and shall take the liberty to leave my card for +the information of your friend." + +So saying, he placed his card upon the table--"Le Capitaine Eugene de +Joncourt, Cuirassiers de la Garde." + +"I need not press upon Monsieur the value of despatch." + +"I shall not lose a moment," said I, as he clattered down the stairs of +the hotel, with that perfect swaggering nonchalance which a Frenchman is +always an adept in; and I returned to my room, to meditate upon my +numerous embarrassments, and think over the difficulties which every +moment was contributing to increase the number of. + +"The indictment has certainly many counts," thought I. + +Imprimis--A half-implied, but fully comprehended promise to marry a young +lady, with whom, I confess, I only intend to journey this life--as far as +Baden. + +Secondly, a charge of swindling--for such the imputation goes to--at the +Salon. + +Thirdly, another unaccountable delay in joining the Callonbys, with whom +I am every hour in the risque of being "compromis;" and lastly, a duel in +perspective with some confounded Frenchman, who is at this very moment +practising at a pistol gallery. + +Such were the heads of my reflections, and such the agreeable impressions +my visit to Paris was destined to open with; how they were to be followed +up I reserve for another chapter. + + + + +EBOOK EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +A crowd is a mob, if composed even of bishops +Involuntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path +Levelling character of a taste for play +Never able to restrain myself from a propensity to make love +Strong opinions against tobacco within doors +We pass a considerable portion of our lives in a mimic warfare +What we wish, we readily believe +Whenever he was sober his poverty disgusted him + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, +Vol. 4, by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 4 *** + +***** This file should be named 5237.txt or 5237.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/3/5237/ + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, v4 + +Author: Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5237] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 10, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONFESSIONS OF LORREQUER, V4 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by Mary Munarin +and David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, v4 + +[By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)] + + +Dublin + +MDCCCXXXIX. + + + +Volume 4. (Chapter XXIV-XXVIII) + + +Contents: + +CHAPTER XXIV +The Gen d'Arme + +CHAPTER XXV +The Inn at Chantraine + +CHAPTER XXVI +Mr O'Leary + +CHAPTER XXVII +Paris + +CHAPTER XXVIII +Paris + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +THE GEN D'ARME. + +I had fortunately sufficient influence upon my fair friends to persuade +them to leave Calais early on the morning following; and two hours before +Kilkee had opened his eyes upon this mortal life, we were far upon the +road to Paris. + +Having thus far perfectly succeeded in my plot, my spirit rose rapidly, +and I made every exertion to make the road appear short to my fellow- +travellers. This part of France is unfortunately deficient in any +interest from scenery; large undivided tracts of waving cornfields, with +a back-ground of apparently interminable forests, and occasionally, but +rarely, the glimpse of some old time-worn chateau, with its pointed gable +and terraced walk, are nearly all that the eye can detect in the +intervals between the small towns and villages. Nothing, however, is +"flat or unprofitable" to those who desire to make it otherwise; good +health, good spirits, and fine weather, are wonderful travelling +companions, and render one tolerably independent of the charms of +scenery. Every mile that separated me from Calais, and took away the +chance of being overtaken, added to my gaiety, and I flatter myself that +a happier party have rarely travelled that well frequented road. + +We reached Abbeville to dinner, and adjourned to the beautiful little +garden of the inn for our coffee; the evening was so delightful that I +proposed to walk on the Paris road, until the coming up of the carriage, +which required a screw, or a washer, or some such trifle as always occurs +in French posting. To this la chere mamma objected, she being tired, but +added, that Isabella and I might go on, and that she would take us up in +half an hour. This was an arrangement so very agreeable and unlooked for +by me, that I pressed Miss Bingham as far as I well could, and at last +succeeded in overcoming her scruples, and permitting me to shawl her. +One has always a tremendous power of argument with the uninitiated +abroad, by a reference to a standard of manners and habits totally +different from our own. Thus the talismanic words--"Oh! don't be +shocked; remember you are in France," did more to satisfy my young +friend's mind than all I could have said for an hour. Little did she +know that in England only, has an unmarried young lady any liberty, and +that the standard of foreign propriety on this head is far, very far more +rigid than our own. + +"La premiere Rue a gauche," said an old man of whom I inquired the road; +"et puis," added I. + +"And then quite straight; it is a chaussee all the way, and you cannot +mistake it." + +"Now for it, mademoiselle," said I. "Let us try if we cannot see a good +deal of the country before the carriage comes up." + +We had soon left the town behind and reached a beautifully shaded high +road, with blossoming fruit trees, and honeysuckle-covered cottages; +there had been several light showers during the day, and the air had all +the fresh fragrant feeling of an autumn evening, so tranquillizing and +calming that few there are who have not felt at some time or other of +their lives, its influence upon their minds. I fancied my fair companion +did so, for, as she walked beside me, her silence, and the gentle +pressure of her arm, were far more eloquent than words. + +If that extraordinary flutter and flurry of sensations which will now and +then seize you, when walking upon a lonely country road with a pretty +girl for your companion, whose arm is linked in yours, and whose +thoughts, as far you can guess at least, are travelling the same path +with your own--if this be animal magnetism, or one of its phenomena, then +do I swear by Mesmer, whatever it be, delusion or otherwise, it has given +me the brightest moments of my life--these are the real "winged dreams" +of pleasures which outlive others of more absorbing and actual interest +at the time. After all, for how many of our happiest feelings are we +indebted to the weakness of our nature. The man that is wise at +nineteen, "Je l'en fais mon compliment," but I assuredly do not envy him; +and now, even now, when I number more years than I should like to +"confess," rather than suffer the suspicious watchfulness of age to creep +on me, I prefer to "go on believing," even though every hour of the day +should show me, duped and deceived. While I plead guilty to this +impeachment, let me show mitigation, that it has its enjoyments--first, +although I am the most constant and devoted man breathing, as a very +cursory glance at these confessions may prove, yet I have never been able +to restrain myself from a propensity to make love, merely as a pastime. +The gambler that sits down to play cards, or hazard against himself, may +perhaps be the only person that can comprehend this tendency of mine. We +both of us are playing for nothing (or love, which I suppose is +synonymous;) we neither of us put forth our strength; for that very +reason, and in fact like the waiter at Vauxhall who was complimented upon +the dexterity with which he poured out the lemonade, and confessed that +he spent his mornings "practising with vater," we pass a considerable +portion of our lives in a mimic warfare, which, if it seem unprofitable, +is, nevertheless, pleasant. + +After all this long tirade, need I say how our walk proceeded? We had +fallen into a kind of discussion upon the singular intimacy which had so +rapidly grown up amongst us, and which years long might have failed to +engender. Our attempts to analyse the reasons for, and the nature of the +friendship thus so suddenly established--a rather dangerous and difficult +topic, when the parties are both young--one eminently handsome, and the +other disposed to be most agreeable. Oh, my dear young friends of either +sex, whatever your feelings be for one another, keep them to yourselves; +I know of nothing half so hazardous as that "comparing of notes" which +sometimes happens. Analysis is a beautiful thing in mathematics or +chemistry, but it makes sad havoc when applied to the "functions of the +heart." + +"Mamma appears to have forgotten us," said Isabella, as she spoke, after +walking for some time in silence beside me. + +"Oh, depend upon it, the carriage has taken all this time to repair; but +are you tired?" + +"Oh, by no means; the evening is delightful, but--" + +"Then perhaps you are ennuyee," said I, half pettishly, to provoke a +disclaimer if possible. To this insidiously put quere I received, as I +deserved, no answer, and again we sauntered on without speaking. + +"To whom does that chateau belong, my old friend?" said I addressing a +man on the road-side. + +"A Monsieur le Marquis, sir," replied he. + +"But what's his name, though?" + +"Ah, that I can't tell you," replied the man again. + +There you may perceive how, even yet, in provincial France, the old +respect for the aristocracy still survives; it is sufficient that the +possessor of that fine place is "Monsieur le Marquis;" but any other +knowledge of who he is, and what, is superfluous. "How far are we from +the next village, do you know?" + +"About a league." + +"Indeed. Why I thought 'La Scarpe' was quite near us." + +"Ah, you are thinking of the Amiens road." + +"Yes, of course; and is not this the Amiens road?" + +"Oh, no; the Amiens road lies beyond those low hills to the right. You +passed the turn at the first 'barriere'." + +"Is it possible we could have come wrong?" + +"Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, don't say so, I entreat of you." + +"And what road is this, then, my friend?" + +"This is the road to Albert and Peronne." + +"Unfortunately, I believe he is quite right. Is there any crossroad from +the village before us now, to the Amiens road?" + +"Yes; you can reach it about three leagues hence." + +"And we can get a carriage at the inn probably?" + +"Ah, that I am not sure of--. Perhaps at the Lion d'or you may." + +"But why not go back to Abbeville?" + +"Oh, Mrs. Bingham must have left long since, and beside you forget the +distance; we have been walking two hours." + +"Now for the village," said I, as I drew my friend's arm closer within +mine, and we set out in a fast walk. + +Isabella seemed terribly frightened at the whole affair; what her mamma +might think, and what might be her fears at not finding us on the road, +and a hundred other encouraging reflections of this nature she poured +forth unceasingly. As for myself, I did not know well what to think of +it; my old fondness for adventure being ever sufficiently strong in me to +give a relish to any thing which bore the least resemblance to one. This +I now concealed, and sympathised with my fair friend upon our mishap, and +assuring her, at the same time, that there could be no doubt of our +overtaking Mrs. Bingham before her arrival at Amiens. + +"Ah, there is the village in the valley; how beautifully situated." + +"Oh, I can't admire any thing now, Mr. Lorrequer, I am so frightened." + +"But surely without cause," said I, looking tenderly beneath her bonnet. + +"Is this," she answered, "nothing," and we walked on in silence again. + +On reaching the Lion d'or we discovered that the only conveyance to be +had was a species of open market-cart drawn by two horses, and in which +it was necessary that my fair friend and myself should seat ourselves +side by side upon straw: there was no choice, and as for Miss Bingham, +I believe if an ass with panniers had presented itself, she would have +preferred it to remaining where she was. We therefore took our places, +and she could not refrain from laughing as we set out upon our journey in +this absurd equipage, every jolt of which threw us from side to side, and +rendered every attention on my part requisite to prevent her being upset. + +After about two hours' travelling we arrived at the Amiens road, and +stopped at the barriere. I immediately inquired if a carriage had +passed, resembling Mrs. Bingham's, and learned that it had, about an hour +before, and that the lady in it had been informed that two persons, like +those she asked after, had been seen in a caleche driving rapidly to +Amiens, upon which she set out as fast as possible in pursuit. + +"Certainly," said I, "the plot is thickening; but for that unlucky +mistake she might in all probability have waited here for us. Amiens is +only two leagues now, so our drive will not be long, and before six +o'clock we shall all be laughing over the matter as a very good joke." + +On we rattled, and as the road became less frequented, and the shadows +lengthened, I could not but wonder at the strange situations which the +adventurous character of my life had so often involved me in. Meanwhile, +my fair friend's spirits became more and more depressed, and it was not +without the greatest difficulty I was enabled to support her courage. I +assured her, and not altogether without reason, that though so often in +my eventful career accidents were occurring which rendered it dubious and +difficult to reach the goal I aimed at, yet the results had so often been +more pleasant than I could have anticipated, that I always felt a kind of +involuntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path, setting it +down as some especial means of fortune, to heighten the pleasure awaiting +me; "and now," added I, "even here, perhaps, in this very mistake of our +road--the sentiments I have heard--the feelings I have given utterance +to--" What I was about to say, heaven knows--perhaps nothing less than a +downright proposal was coming; but at that critical moment a gen-d'arme +rode up to the side of our waggon, and surveyed us with the peculiarly +significant scowl his order is gifted with. After trotting alongside for +a few seconds he ordered the driver to halt, and, turning abruptly to us, +demanded our passports. Now our passports were, at that precise moment, +peaceably reposing in the side pocket of Mrs. Bingham's carriage; I +therefore explained to the gen-d'arme how we were circumstanced, and +added, that on arriving at Amiens the passport should be produced. To +this he replied that all might be perfectly true, but he did not believe +a word of it--that he had received an order for the apprehension of two +English persons travelling that road--and that he should accordingly +request our company back to Chantraine, the commissionaire of which place +was his officer. + +"But why not take us to Amiens," said I; "particularly when I tell you +that we can then show our passports?" + +"I belong to the Chantraine district," was the laconic answer; and like +the gentleman who could not weep at the sermon because he belonged to +another parish, this specimen of a French Dogberry would not hear reason +except in his own "commune." + +No arguments which I could think of had any effect upon him, and amid a +volley of entreaty and imprecation, both equally vain, we saw ourselves +turn back upon the road to Amiens, and set out at a round trot to +Chantraine, on the road to Calais. + +Poor Isabella, I really pitied her; hitherto her courage had been +principally sustained by the prospect of soon reaching Amiens; now there +was no seeing where our adventure was to end. Besides that, actual +fatigue from the wretched conveyance began to distress her, and she was +scarcely able to support herself, though assisted by my arm. What a +perilous position mine, whispering consolation and comfort to a pretty +girl on a lonely road, the only person near being one who comprehended +nothing of the language we spoke in. Ah, how little do we know of fate, +and how often do we despise circumstances that determine all our fortunes +in the world. To think that a gen-d'arme should have any thing to do +with my future lot in life, and that the real want of a passport to +travel should involve the probable want of a licence to marry. Yes, it +is quite in keeping, thought I, with every step I have taken through +life. I may be brought before the "maire" as a culprit, and leave him as +a Benedict. + +On reaching the town, we were not permitted to drive to the inn, but at +once conveyed to the house of the "commissaire," who was also the "maire" +of the district. The worthy functionary was long since in bed, and it +was only after ringing violently for half an hour that a head, surmounted +with a dirty cotton night-cap, peeped from an upper window, and seemed to +survey the assemblage beneath with patient attention. By this time a +considerable crowd had collected from the neighbouring ale-houses and +cabarets, who deemed it a most fitting occasion to honour us with the +most infernal yells and shouts, as indicating their love of justice, and +delight in detecting knavery; and that we were both involved in such +suspicion, we had not long to learn. Meanwhile the poor old maire, who +had been an employe in the stormy days of the revolution, and also under +Napoleon, and who full concurred with Swift that "a crowd is a mob, if +composed even of bishops," firmly believed that the uproar beneath in the +street was the announcement of a new change of affairs at Paris, +determined to be early in the field, and shouted therefore with all his +lungs--"vive le peuple"--"Vive la charte"--"A bas les autres." A +tremendous shout of laughter saluted this exhibition of unexpected +republicanism, and the poor maire retired from the window, having learned +his mistake, covered with shame and confusion. + +Before the mirth caused by this blunder had subsided, the door had +opened, and we were ushered into the bureau of the commissaire, +accompanied by the anxious crowd, all curious to know the particulars of +our crime. + +The maire soon appeared, his night-cap being replaced by a small black +velvet skull-cap, and his lanky figure enveloped in a tarnished silk +dressing-gown; he permitted us to be seated, while the gen-d'arme +recounted the suspicious circumstances of our travelling, and produced +the order to arrest an Englishman and his wife who had arrived in one of +the late Boulogne packets, and who had carried off from some banking- +house money and bills for a large amount. + +"I have no doubt these are the people," said the gen-d'arme; "and here is +the 'carte descriptive.' Let us compare it--'Forty-two or forty-three +years of age.'" + +I trust, M. le Maire," said I, overhearing this, "that ladies do not +recognize me as so much." + +"Of a pale and cadaverous aspect," continued the gen-d'arme. + +Upon this the old functionary, wiping his spectacles with a snuffy +handkerchief, as if preparing them to examine an eclipse of the sun, +regarded me fixedly for several minutes, and said--"Oh, yes, I perceive +it plainly; continue the description." + +"Five feet three inches," said the gen-d'arme. + +"Six feet one in England, whatever this climate may have done since." + +"Speaks broken and bad French." + +"Like a native," said I; "at least so said my friends in the chaussee +D'Antin, in the year fifteen." + +Here the catalogue ended, and a short conference between the maire and +the gen-d'arme ensued, which ended in our being committed for examination +on the morrow; meanwhile we were to remain at the inn, under the +surveillance of the gen-d'arme. + +On reaching the inn my poor friend was so completely exhausted that she +at once retired to her room, and I proceeded to fulfil a promise I had +made her to despatch a note to Mrs. Bingham at Amiens by a special +messenger, acquainting her with all our mishaps, and requesting her to +come or send to our assistance. This done, and a good supper smoking +before me, of which with difficulty I persuaded Isabella to partake in +her own room, I again regained my equanimity, and felt once more at ease. + +The gen-d'arme in whose guardianship I had been left was a fine specimen +of his caste; a large and powerfully built man of about fifty, with an +enormous beard of grizzly brown and grey hair, meeting above and beneath +his nether lip; his eyebrows were heavy and beetling, and nearly +concealed his sharp grey eyes, while a deep sabre-wound had left upon his +cheek a long white scar, giving a most warlike and ferocious look to his +features. + +As he sat apart from me for some time, silent and motionless, I could not +help imagining in how many a hard-fought day he had borne a part, for he +evidently, from his age and bearing, had been one of the soldiers of the +empire. I invited him to partake of my bottle of Medoc, by which he +seemed flattered. When the flask became low, and was replaced by +another, he appeared to have lost much of his constrained air, and +seemed forgetting rapidly the suspicious circumstances which he supposed +attached to me--waxed wondrous confidential and communicative, and +condescended to impart some traits of a life which was not without its +vicissitudes, for he had been, as I suspected, one of the "Guarde"--the +old guarde--was wounded at Marengo, and received the croix d'honneur in +the field of Wagram, from the hands of the Emperor himself. The headlong +enthusiasm of attachment to Napoleon, which his brief and stormy career +elicited even from those who suffered long and deeply in his behalf, is +not one of the least singular circumstances which this portion of history +displays. While the rigours of the conscription had invaded every family +in France, from Normandie to La Vendee--while the untilled fields, the +ruined granaries, the half-deserted villages, all attested the +depopulation of the land, those talismanic words, "l'Empereur et la +gloire," by some magic mechanism seemed all-sufficient not only to +repress regret and suffering, but even stimulate pride, and nourish +valour; and even yet, when it might be supposed that like the brilliant +glass of a magic lantern, the gaudy pageant had passed away, leaving only +the darkness and desolation behind it--the memory of those days under the +empire survives untarnished and unimpaired, and every sacrifice of +friends or fortune is accounted but little in the balance when the honour +of La Belle France, and the triumphs of the grand "armee," are weighted +against them. The infatuated and enthusiastic followers of this great +man would seem, in some respects, to resemble the drunkard in the +"Vaudeville," who alleged as his excuse for drinking, that whenever he +was sober his poverty disgusted him. "My cabin," said he, "is a cell, my +wife a mass of old rags, my child a wretched object of misery and malady. +But give me brandy; let me only have that, and then my hut is a palace, +my wife is a princess, and my child the very picture of health and +happiness;" so with these people--intoxicated with the triumphs of their +nation, "tete monte" with victory--they cannot exist in the horror of +sobriety which peace necessarily enforces; and whenever the subject turns +in conversation upon the distresses of the time or the evil prospects of +the country, they call out, not like the drunkard, for brandy, but in the +same spirit they say--"Ah, if you would again see France flourishing and +happy, let us once more have our croix d'honneur, our epaulettes, our +voluntary contributions, our Murillos, our Velasquez, our spoils from +Venice, and our increased territories to rule over." This is the +language of the Buonapartiste every where, and at all seasons; and the +mass of the nation is wonderfully disposed to participate in the +sentiment. The empire was the Aeneid of the nation, and Napoleon the +only hero they now believe in. You may satisfy yourself of this easily. +Every cafe will give evidence of it, every society bears its testimony to +it, and even the most wretched Vaudeville, however, trivial the interest +--however meagre the story, and poor the diction, let the emperor but +have his "role"--let him be as laconic as possible, carry his hands +behind his back, wear the well-known low cocked-hat, and the "redingote +gris"--the success is certain--every sentence he utters is applauded, and +not a single allusion to the Pyramids, the sun of Austerlitz, l'honneur, +et al vieille garde, but is sure to bring down thunders of acclamation. +But I am forgetting myself, and perhaps my reader too; the conversation +of the old gen-d'arme accidentally led me into reflections like these, +and he was well calculated, in many ways, to call them forth. His +devoted attachment--his personal love of the emperor--of which he gave me +some touching instances, was admirably illustrated by an incident, which +I am inclined to tell, and hope it may amuse the reader as much as it did +myself on hearing it. + +When Napoleon had taken possession of the papal dominions, as he +virtually did, and carried off the pope, Pius VI, to Paris, this old +soldier, then a musketeer in the garde, formed part of the company that +mounted guard over the holy father. During the earlier months of the +holy father's confinement he was at liberty to leave his apartments at +any hour he pleased, and cross the court-year of the palace to the chapel +where he performed mass. At such moments the portion of the Imperial +Guard then on duty stood under arms, and received from the august hand of +the pope his benediction as he passed. But one morning a hasty express +arrived from the Tuilleries, and the officer on duty communicated his +instructions to his party, that the apostolic vicar was not to be +permitted to pass, as heretofore, to the chapel, and that a most rigid +superintendence was to be exercised over his movements. My poor +companion had his turn for duty on that ill-starred day; he had not been +long at his post when the sound of footsteps was heard approaching, and +he soon saw the procession which always attended the holy father to his +devotions, advancing towards him; he immediately placed himself across +the passage, and with his musket in rest barred the exit, declaring, at +the same time, that such were his orders. In vain the priests who formed +the cortege addressed themselves to his heart, and spoke to his feelings, +and at last finding little success by these methods, explained to him the +mortal sin and crime for which eternal damnation itself might not be a +too heavy retribution if he persisted in preventing his holiness to pass, +and thus be the means of opposing an obstacle to the head of the whole +Catholic church, for celebrating the mass; the soldier remained firm and +unmoved, the only answer he returned being, "that he had his orders, and +dared not disobey them." The pope, however, persisted in his resolution, +and endeavoured to get by, when the hardy veteran retreated a step, and +placing his musket and bayonet at the charge, called out "au nom de +l'Empereur," when the pious party at last yielded and slowly retired +within the palace. + +Not many days after, this severe restriction was recalled, and once more +the father was permitted to go to and from the chapel of the palace, at +such times as he pleased, and again, as before, in passing the corridor, +the guards presented arms and received the holy benediction, all except +one; upon him the head of the church frowned severely, and turned his +back, while extending his pious hands towards the others. "And yet," +said the poor fellow in concluding his story, "and yet I could not have +done otherwise; I had my orders and must have followed them, and had the +emperor commanded it, I should have run my bayonet through the body of +the holy father himself. + +"Thus, you see, my dear sir, how I have loved the emperor, for I have +many a day stood under fire for him in this world, 'et il faut que +j'aille encore au feu pour lui apres ma mort.'." + +He received in good part the consolations I offered him on this head, but +I plainly saw they did not, could not relieve his mind from the horrible +conviction he lay under, that his soul's safety for ever had been +bartered for his attachment to the emperor. + +This story had brought us to the end of the third bottle of Medoc; and, +as I was neither the pope, nor had any very decided intentions of saying +mass, he offered no obstacle to my retiring for the night, and betaking +myself to my bed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +THE INN AT CHANTRAINE. + +When contrasted with the comforts of an English bed-room in a good hotel, +how miserably short does the appearance of a French one fall in the +estimation of the tired traveller. In exchange for the carpetted floor, +the well-curtained windows, the richly tapestried bed, the well cushioned +arm-chair, and the innumerable other luxuries which await him; he has +nought but a narrow, uncurtained bed, a bare floor, occasionally a +flagged one, three hard cane-bottomed chairs, and a looking-glass which +may convey an idea of how you would look under the combined influence of +the cholera, and a stroke of apoplexy, one half of your face being twice +the length of the other, and the entire of it of a bluish-green tint-- +pretty enough in one of Turner's landscapes, but not at all becoming when +applied to the "human face divine." Let no late arrival from the +continent contradict me here by his late experiences, which a stray +twenty pounds and the railroads--(confound them for the same)--have +enabled him to acquire. I speak of matters before it occurred to all +Charing-Cross and Cheapside to "take the water" between Dover and Calais, +and inundate the world with the wit of the Cider Cellar, and the Hole in +the Wall. No! In the days I write of, the travelled were of another +genus, and you might dine at Very's or have your loge at "Les Italiens," +without being dunned by your tailor at the one, or confronted with your +washer-woman at the other. Perhaps I have written all this in the spite +and malice of a man who feels that his louis-d'or only goes half as far +now as heretofore; and attributes all his diminished enjoyments and +restricted luxuries to the unceasing current of his countrymen, whom +fate, and the law of imprisonment for debt, impel hither. Whether I am +so far guilty or not, is not now the question; suffice it to say, that +Harry Lorrequer, for reasons best known to himself, lives abroad, where +he will be most happy to see any of his old and former friends who take +his quarters en route; and in the words of a bellicose brother of the +pen, but in a far different spirit, he would add, "that any person who +feels himself here alluded to, may learn the author's address at his +publishers." "Now let us go back to our muttons," as Barney Coyle used +to say in the Dublin Library formerly--for Barney was fond of French +allusions, which occasionally too he gave in their own tongue, as once +describing an interview with Lord Cloncurry, in which he broke off +suddenly the conference, adding, "I told him I never could consent to +such a proposition, and putting my chateau (chapeau) on my head, I left +the house at once." + +It was nearly three o'clock in the morning, as accompanied by the waiter, +who, like others of his tribe, had become a kind of somnambulist ex- +officio, I wended my way up one flight of stairs, and down another, along +a narrow corridor, down two steps, through an antechamber, and into +another corridor, to No. 82, my habitation for the night. Why I should +have been so far conducted from the habitable portion of the house I had +spent my evening in, I leave the learned in such matters to explain; as +for me, I have ever remarked it, while asking for a chamber in a large +roomy hotel, the singular pride with which you are ushered up grand +stair-cases, down passages, through corridors, and up narrow back +flights, till the blue sky is seen through the sky-light, to No. 199, +"the only spare bed-room in the house," while the silence and desolation +of the whole establishment would seem to imply far otherwise--the only +evidence of occupation being a pair of dirty Wellingtons at the door of +No. 2. + +"Well, we have arrived at last," said I, drawing a deep sigh, as I threw +myself upon a ricketty chair, and surveyed rapidly my meagre-looking +apartment. + +"Yes, this is Monsieur's chamber," said the waiter, with a very peculiar +look, half servile, half droll. "Madame se couche, No. 28." + +"Very well, good night," said I, closing the door hastily, and not liking +the farther scrutiny of the fellow's eye, as he fastened it on me, as if +to search what precise degree of relationship existed between myself and +my fair friend, whom he had called "Madame" purposely to elicit an +observation from me. "Ten to one though," said I, as I undressed myself, +"but they think she is my wife--how good--but again--ay, it is very +possible, considering we are in France. Numero vingt-huit, quite far +enough from this part of the house I should suppose from my number,--that +old gen-d'arme was a fine fellow--what strong attachment to Napoleon; and +the story of the pope; I hope I may remember that. Isabella, poor girl-- +this adventure must really distress her--hope she is not crying over it-- +what a devil of a hard bed--and it is not five feet long too--and, bless +my soul, is this all by way of covering; why I shall be perished here. +Oh! I must certainly put all my clothes over me in addition, +unfortunately there is no hearth-rug--well, there is no help for it now +--so let me try to sleep--numero vingt-huit." + +How long I remained in a kind of uneasy, fitful slumber, I cannot tell; +but I awoke shivering with cold--puzzled to tell where I was, and my +brain addled with the broken fragments of half a dozen dreams, all +mingling and mixing themselves with the unpleasant realities of my +situation. What an infernal contrivance for a bed, thought I, as my head +came thump against the top, while my legs projected far beyond the foot- +rail; the miserable portion of clothing over me at the same time being +only sufficient to temper the night air, which in autumn is occasionally +severe and cutting. This will never do. I must ring the bell and rouse +the house, if only to get a fire, if they don't possess such a thing as +blankets. I immediately rose, and groping my way along the wall +endeavoured to discover the bell, but in vain; and for the same +satisfactory reason that Von Troil did not devote one chapter of his work +on "Iceland" to "snakes," because there were none such there. What was +now to be done? About the geography of my present abode I knew, perhaps, +as much as the public at large know about the Coppermine river and +Behring's straits. The world, it was true, was before me, "where top +choose," admirable things for an epic, but decidedly an unfortunate +circumstance for a very cold gentleman in search of a blanket. Thus +thinking, I opened the door of my chamber, and not in any way resolved +how I should proceed, I stepped forth into the long corridor, which was +dark as midnight itself. + +Tracing my path along the wall, I soon reached a door which I in vain +attempted to open; in another moment I found another and another, each of +which were locked. Thus along the entire corridor I felt my way, making +every effort to discover where any of the people of the house might have +concealed themselves, but without success. What was to be done now? It +was of no use to go back to my late abode, and find it comfortless as I +left it; so I resolved to proceed in my search; by this time I had +arrived at the top of a small flight of stairs, which I remembered having +come up, and which led to another long passage similar to the one I had +explored, but running in a transverse direction, down this I now crept, +and reached the landing, along the wall of which I was guided by my hand, +as well for safety as to discover the architrave of some friendly door, +where the inhabitant might be sufficiently Samaritan to lend some portion +of his bed-clothes; door after door followed in succession along this +confounded passage, which I began to think as long as the gallery of the +lower one; at last, however, just as my heart was sinking within me from +disappointment, the handle of a lock turned, and I found myself inside a +chamber. How was I now to proceed? for if this apartment did not contain +any of the people of the hotel, I had but a sorry excuse for disturbing +the repose of any traveller who might have been more fortunate than +myself in the article of blankets. To go back however, would be absurd, +having already taken so much trouble to find out a room that was +inhabited--for that such was the case, a short, thick snore assured me-- +so that my resolve was at once made, to waken the sleeper, and endeavour +to interest him in my destitute situation. I accordingly approached the +place where the nasal sounds seemed to issue from, and soon reached the +post of a bed. I waited for an instant, and then began, + +"Monsier, voulez vous bien me permettre--" + +"As to short whist, I never could make it out, so there is an end of it," +said my unknown friend, in a low, husky voice, which, strangely enough, +was not totally unfamiliar to me: but when or how I had heard it before I +could not then think. + +Well, thought I, he is an Englishman at all events, so I hope his +patriotism may forgive my intrusion, so here goes once more to rouse him, +though he seems a confoundedly heavy sleeper. "I beg your pardon, sir, +but unfortunately in a point like the present, perhaps--" + +"Well, do you mark the points, and I'll score the rubber," said he. + +"The devil take the gambling fellow's dreaming," thought I, raising my +voice at the same time. + +"Perhaps a cold night, sir, may suffice as my apology." + +"Cold, oh, ay! put a hot poker to it," muttered he; "a hot poker, a +little sugar, and a spice of nutmeg--nothing else--then it's delicious." + +"Upon my soul, this is too bad," said I to myself. "Let us see what +shaking will do. Sir, sir, I shall feel obliged by--" + +"Well there, don't shake me, and I'll tell you where I hid the cigars-- +they are under my straw hat in the window." + +"Well, really," thought I, "if this gentleman's confessions were of an +interesting nature, this might be good fun; but as the night is cold, I +must shorten the 'seance,' so here goes for one effort more. + +"If, sir, you could kindly spare me even a small portion of your bed- +clothes." + +"No, thank you, no more wine; but I'll sing with pleasure;" and here the +wretch, in something like the voice of a frog with the quinsy, began, +"'I'd mourn the hopes that leave me.'" + +"You shall mourn something else for the same reason," said I, as losing +all patience, I seized quilts and blankets by the corner, and with one +vigourous pull wrenched them from the bed, and darted from the room--in a +second I was in the corridor, trailing my spoil behind--which in my haste +I had not time to collect in a bundle. I flew rather than ran along the +passage, reached the stairs, and in another minute had reached the second +gallery, but not before I heard the slam of a door behind me, and the +same instant the footsteps of a person running along the corridor, who +could be no other than my pursuer, effectually aroused by my last appeal +to his charity. I darted along the dark and narrow passage; but soon to +my horror discovered that I must have passed the door of my chamber, for +I had reached the foot of a narrow back stair, which led to the grenier +and the servants' rooms, beneath the roof. To turn now would only have +led me plump in the face of my injured countryman, of whose thew and +sinew I was perfectly ignorant, and did not much like to venture upon. +There was little time for reflection, for he had now reached the top of +the stair, and was evidently listening for some clue to guide him on; +stealthily and silently, and scarcely drawing breath, I mounted the +narrow stairs step by step, but before I had arrived at the landing, he +heard the rustle of the bed-clothes, and again gave chace. There was +something in the unrelenting ardour of his pursuit, which suggested to my +mind the idea of a most uncompromising foe; and as fear added speed to my +steps, I dashed along beneath the low-roofed passage, wondering what +chance of escape might yet present itself. Just at this instant, the +hand by which I had guided myself along the wall, touched the handle of a +door--I turned it--it opened--I drew in my precious bundle, and closing +the door noiselessly, sat down, breathless and still, upon the floor. + +Scarcely was this, the work of a second, accomplished, when the heavy +tread of my pursuer resounded on the floor. + +"Upon my conscience it's strange if I haven't you now, my friend," said +he: "you're in a cul de sac here, as they say, if I know any thing of the +house; and faith I'll make a sallad of you, when I get you, that's all. +Devil a dirtier trick ever I heard tell of." + +Need I say that these words had the true smack of an Irish accent, which +circumstance, from whatever cause, did not by any means tend to assuage +my fears in the event of discovery. + +However, from such a misfortune my good genius now delivered me; for +after traversing the passage to the end, he at last discovered another, +which led by a long flight to the second story, down which he proceeded, +venting at every step his determination for vengeance, and his resolution +not to desist from the pursuit, if it took the entire night for it. + +"Well now," thought I, "as he will scarcely venture up here again, and as +I may, by leaving this, be only incurring the risk of encountering him, +my best plan is to stay where I am if it be possible." With this intent I +proceeded to explore the apartment, which from its perfect stillness, I +concluded to be unoccupied. After some few minutes groping I reached a +low bed, fortunately empty, and although the touch of the bed-clothes led +to no very favourable augury of its neatness or elegance, there was +little choice at this moment, so I rolled myself up in my recent booty, +and resolved to wait patiently for day-break to regain my apartment. + +As always happens in such circumstances, sleep came on me unawares-- +so at least every one's experience I am sure can testify, that if you +are forced to awake early to start by some morning coach, and that +unfortunately you have not got to bed till late at night, the chances +are ten to one, that you get no sleep whatever, simply because you are +desirous for it; but make up your mind ever so resolutely, that you'll +not sleep, and whether your determination be built on motives of +propriety, duty, convenience, or health, and the chances are just as +strong that you are sound and snoring before ten minutes. + +How many a man has found it impossible, with every effort of his heart +and brain aiding his good wishes, to sit with unclosed eyes and ears +through a dull sermon in the dog-days; how many an expectant, longing +heir has yielded to the drowsy influence when endeavouring to look +contrite under the severe correction of a lecture on extravagance from +his uncle. Who has not felt the irresistible tendency to "drop off" in +the half hour before dinner at a stupid country-house? I need not +catalogue the thousand other situations in life infinitely more "sleep- +compelling" than Morphine; for myself, my pleasantest and soundest +moments of perfect forgetfulness of this dreary world and all its cares, +have been taken in an oaken bench, seated bolt upright and vis a vis to a +lecturer on botany, whose calming accents, united with the softened light +of an autumnal day, piercing its difficult rays through the narrow and +cobwebbed windows, the odour of the recent plants and flowers aiding and +abetting, all combined to steep the soul in sleep, and you sank by +imperceptible and gradual steps into that state of easy slumber, in which +"come no dreams," and the last sounds of the lecturer's "hypogenous and +perigenous" died away, becoming beautifully less, till your senses sank +into rest, the syllables "rigging us, rigging us," seemed to melt away in +the distance and fade from your memory--Peace be with you, Doctor A. If +I owe gratitude any where I have my debt with you. The very memory I +bear of you has saved me no inconsiderable sum in hop and henbane. +Without any assistance from the sciences on the present occasion, I was +soon asleep, and woke not till the cracking of whips, and trampling of +horses' feet on the pavement of the coach-yard apprised me that the world +had risen to its daily labour, and so should I. From the short survey of +my present chamber which I took on waking, I conjectured it must have +been the den of some of the servants of the house upon occasion--two low +truckle-beds of the meanest description lay along the wall opposite to +mine; one of them appeared to have been slept in during the past night, +but by what species of animal the Fates alone can tell. An old demi-peak +saddle, capped and tipped with brass, some rusty bits, and stray stirrup- +irons lay here and there upon the floor; while upon a species of clothes- +rack, attached to a rafter, hung a tarnished suit of postillion's livery, +cap, jacket, leathers, and jack-boots, all ready for use; and evidently +from their arrangement supposed by the owner to be a rather creditable +"turn out." + +I turned over these singular habiliments with much of the curiosity with +which an antiquary would survey a suit of chain armour; the long +epaulettes of yellow cotton cord, the heavy belt with its brass buckle, +the cumbrous boots, plaited and bound with iron like churns were in +rather a ludicrous contrast to the equipment of our light and jockey-like +boys in nankeen jackets and neat tops, that spin along over our level +"macadam." + +"But," thought I, "it is full time I should get back to No. 82, and make +my appearance below stairs;" though in what part of the building my room +lay, and how I was to reach it without my clothes, I had not the +slightest idea. A blanket is an excessively comfortable article of +wearing apparel when in bed, but as a walking costume is by no means +convenient or appropriate; while to making a sorti en sauvage, however +appropriate during the night, there were many serious objections if done +"en plein jour," and with the whole establishment awake and active; the +noise of mopping, scrubbing, and polishing, which is eternally going +forward in a foreign inn amply testified there was nothing which I could +adopt in my present naked and forlorn condition, save the bizarre and +ridiculous dress of the postillion, and I need not say the thought of so +doing presented nothing agreeable. I looked from the narrow window out +upon the tiled roof, but without any prospect of being heard if I called +ever so loudly. + +The infernal noise of floor-cleansing, assisted by a Norman peasant's +"chanson du pays," the time being well marked by her heavy sabots, gave +even less chance to me within; so that after more than half an hour +passed in weighing difficulties, and canvassing plans, upon donning the +blue and yellow, and setting out for my own room without delay, hoping +sincerely, that with proper precaution, I should be able to reach it +unseen and unobserved. + +As I laid but little stress upon the figure I should make in my new +habiliments, it did not cause me much mortification to find that the +clothes were considerably too small, the jacket scarcely coming beneath +my arms, and the sleeves being so short that my hands and wrists +projected beyond the cuffs like two enormous claws; the leathers were +also limited in their length, and when drawn up to a proper height, +permitted my knees to be seen beneath, like the short costume of a +Spanish Tauridor, but scarcely as graceful; not wishing to encumber +myself in the heavy and noisy masses of wood, iron, and leather, they +call "les bottes forts," I slipped my feet into my slippers, and stole +gently from the room. How I must have looked at the moment I leave my +reader to guess, as with anxious and stealthy pace I crept along the low +gallery that led to the narrow staircase, down which I proceeded, step by +step; but just as I reached the bottom, perceived a little distance from +me, with her back turned towards me, a short, squat peasant on her knees, +belabouring with a brush the well waxed floor; to pass therefore, +unobserved was impossible, so that I did not hesitate to address her, and +endeavour to interest her in my behalf, and enlist her as my guide. + +"Bon jour, ma chere," said I in a soft insinuating tone; she did not hear +me, so I repeated, + +"Bon jour, ma chere, bon jour." + +Upon this she turned round, and looking fixedly at me for a second, +called out in a thick pathos, "Ah, le bon Dieu! qu'il est drole comme ca, +Francois, savez vous, mais ce n'est pas Francois;" saying which, she +sprang from her kneeling position to her feet, and with a speed that her +shape and sabots seemed little to promise, rushed down the stairs as if +she had seen the devil himself. + +"Why, what is the matter with the woman?" said I, "surely if I am not +Francois--which God be thanked is true--yet I cannot look so frightful as +all this would imply." I had not much time given me for consideration +now, for before I had well deciphered the number over a door before me, +the loud noise of several voices on the floor beneath attracted my +attention, and the moment after the heavy tramp of feet followed, and in +an instant the gallery was thronged by the men and women of the house-- +waiters, hostlers, cooks, scullions, filles de chambre, mingled with +gens-d'armes, peasants, and town's people, all eagerly forcing their way +up stairs; yet all on arriving at the landing-place, seemed disposed to +keep at a respectful distance, and bundling themselves at one end of the +corridor, while I, feelingly alive to the ridiculous appearance I made, +occupied the other--the gravity with which they seemed at first disposed +to regard me soon gave way, and peal after peal of laughter broke out, +and young and old, men and women, even to the most farouche gens-d'armes, +all appearing incapable of controlling the desire for merriment my most +singular figure inspired; and unfortunately this emotion seemed to +promise no very speedy conclusion; for the jokes and witticisms made upon +my appearance threatened to renew the festivities, ad libitum. + +"Regardez donc ses epaules," said one. + +"Ah, mon Dieu! Il me fait l'idee d'une grenouille aves ses jambes +jaunes," cried another. + +"Il vaut son pesant de fromage pour une Vaudeville," said the director of +the strolling theatre of the place. + +"I'll give seventy framcs a week, 'd'appointment,' and 'Scribe' shall +write a piece express for himself, if he'll take it." + +"May the devil fly away with your grinning baboon faces," said I, as I +rushed up the stairs again, pursued by the mob at full cry; scarcely, +however, had I reached the top step, when the rough hand of the gen- +d'arme seized me by the shoulder, while he said in a low, husky voice, +"c'est inutile, Monsieur, you cannot escape--the thing was well +contrived, it is true; but the gens-d'armes of France are not easily +outwitted, and you could not have long avoided detection, even in that +dress." It was my turn to laugh now, which, to their very great +amazement, I did, loud and long; that I should have thought my present +costume could ever have been the means of screening me from observation, +however it might have been calculated to attract it, was rather too +absurd a supposition even for the mayor of a village to entertain; +besides, it only now occurred to me that I was figuring in the character +of a prisoner. The continued peals of laughing which this mistake on +their part elicited from me seemed to afford but slight pleasure to my +captor, who gruffly said-- + +"When you have done amusing yourself, mon ami, perhaps you will do us the +favour to come before the mayor." + +"Certainly, I replied; "but you will first permit me to resume my own +clothes, I am quite sick of masquerading 'en postillion.'" + +"Not so fast, my friend," said the suspicious old follower of Fouche-- +"not so fast; it is but right the maire should see you in the disguise +you attempted your escape in. It must be especially mentioned in the +proces verbal." + +"Well, this is becoming too ludicrous," said I. "It need not take five +minutes to satisfy you why, how, and where, I put on these confounded +rags--" + +"Then tell it to the maire, at the Bureau." + +"But for that purpose it is not necessary I should be conducted through +the streets in broad day, to be laughed at. No, positively, I'll not go. +In my own dress I'll accompany you with pleasure." + +"Victor, Henri, Guillame," said the gen-d'arme, addressing his +companions, who immediately closed round me. "You see," added he, "there +is no use in resisting." + +Need I recount my own shame and ineffable disgrace? Alas! it is too, +too true. Harry Lorrequer--whom Stultze entreated to wear his coats, +the ornament of Hyde Park, the last appeal in dress, fashion, and +equipage--was obliged to parade through the mob of a market-town in +France, with four gens-d'armes for his companions, and he himself habited +in a mongrel character--half postillion, half Delaware Indian. The +incessant yells of laughter--the screams of the children, and the +outpouring of every species of sarcasm and ridicule, at my expense, were +not all--for, as I emerged from the porte-chochere I saw Isabella in the +window: her eyes were red with weeping; but no sooner had she beheld me, +than she broke out into a fit of laughter that was audible even in the +street. + +Rage had now taken such a hold upon me, that I forgot my ridiculous +appearance in my thirst for vengeance. I marched on through the grinning +crowd, with the step of a martyr. I suppose my heroic bearing and +warlike deportment must have heightened the drollery of the scene; for +the devils only laughed the more. The bureau of the maire could not +contain one-tenth of the anxious and curious individuals who thronged the +entrance, and for about twenty minutes the whole efforts of the gens- +d'armes were little enough to keep order and maintain silence. At length +the maire made his appearance, and accustomed as he had been for a long +life to scenes of an absurd and extraordinary nature, yet the ridicule of +my look and costume was too much, and he laughed outright. This was of +course the signal for renewed mirth for the crowd, while those without +doors, infected by the example, took up the jest, and I had the pleasure +of a short calculation, a la Babbage, of how many maxillary jaws were at +that same moment wagging at my expense. + +However, the examination commenced; and I at length obtained an +opportunity of explaining under what circumstances I had left my room, +and how and why I had been induced to don this confounded cause of all my +misery. + +"This may be very true," said the mayor, "as it is very plausible; if you +have evidence to prove what you have stated--" + +"If it's evidence only is wanting, Mr. Maire, I'll confirm one part of +the story," said a voice in the crowd, in an accent and tone that assured +me the speaker was the injured proprietor of the stolen blankets. I +turned round hastily to look at my victim, and what was my surprise to +recognize a very old Dublin acquaintance, Mr. Fitzmaurice O'Leary. + +"Good morning, Mr. Lorrequer," said he; "this is mighty like our ould +practices in College-green; but upon my conscience the maire has the +advantage of Gabbet. It's lucky for you I know his worship, as we'd call +him at home, or this might be a serious business. Nothing would persuade +them that you were not Lucien Buonaparte, or the iron mask, or something +of that sort, if they took it into their heads." + +Mr. O'Leary was as good as his word. In a species of French, that I'd +venture to say would be perfectly intelligible in Mullingar, he contrived +to explain to the maire that I was neither a runaway nor a swindler, but +a very old friend of his, and consequently sans reproche. The official +was now as profuse of his civilities as he had before been of his +suspicions, and most hospitably pressed us to stay for breakfast. This, +for many reasons, I was obliged to decline--not the least of which was, +my impatience to get out of my present costume. We accordingly procured a +carriage, and I returned to the hotel, screened from the gaze but still +accompanied by the shouts of the mob, who evidently took a most lively +interest in the entire proceeding. + +I lost no time in changing my costume, and was about to descend +to the saloon, when the master of the house came to inform me that +Mrs. Bingham's courier had arrived with the carriage, and that she +expected us at Amiens as soon as possible. + +"That is all right. Now, Mr. O'Leary, I must pray you to forgive +all the liberty I have taken with you, and also permit me to defer the +explanation of many circumstances which seem at present strange, till--" + +"Till sine die, if the story be a long one, my dear sir--there's nothing +I hate so much, except cold punch." + +"You are going to Paris," said I; "is it not so?" + +"Yes, I'm thinking of it. I was up at Trolhatten, in Norway, three weeks +ago, and I was obliged to leave it hastily, for I've an appointment with +a friend in Geneva." + +"Then how do you travel?" + +"On foot, just as you see, except that I've a tobacco bag up stairs, and +an umbrella." + +"Light equipment, certainly; but you must allow me to give you a set down +as far as Amiens, and also to present you to my friends there." + +To this Mr. O'Leary made no objection; and as Miss Bingham could not bear +any delay, in her anxiety to join her mother, we set out at once--the +only thing to mar my full enjoyment at the moment being the sight of the +identical vestments I had so lately figured in, bobbing up and down +before my eyes for the whole length of the stage, and leading +to innumerable mischievous allusions from my friend Mr. O'Leary, +which were far too much relished by my fair companion. + +At twelve we arrived at Amiens, when I presented my friend Mr. O'Leary to +Mrs. Bingham. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +MR. O'LEARY. + +At the conclusion of my last chapter I was about to introduce to my +reader's acquaintance my friend Mr. O'Leary; and, as he is destined to +occupy some place in the history of these Confessions, I may, perhaps, be +permitted to do so at more length than his intrinsic merit at first sight +might appear to warrant. + +Mr. O'Leary was, and I am induced to believe is, a particularly short, +fat, greasy-looking gentleman, with a head as free from phrenological +development as a billiard-ball, and a countenance which, in feature and +colour, nearly resembled the face of a cherub, carved in oak, as we see +them in old pulpits. + +Short as is his stature, his limbs compose the least part of it. His +hands and feet, forming some compensation by their ample proportions, +with short, thick fins, vulgarly called a cobbler's thumb. His voice +varying in cadence from a deep barytone, to a high falsetto, maintains +throughout the distinctive characteristic of a Dublin accent and +pronunciation, and he talks of the "Veel of Ovoca, and a beef-steek," +with some price of intonation. What part of the Island he came +originally from, or what may be his age, are questions I have the most +profound ignorance of; I have heard many anecdotes which would imply his +being what the French call "d'un age mur"--but his own observations are +generally limited to events occurring since the peace of "fifteen." To +his personal attractions, such as they are, he has never been solicitous +of contributing by the meretricious aids of dress. His coat, calculating +from its length of waist, and ample skirt, would fit Bumbo Green, while +his trowsers, being made of some cheap and shrinking material, have +gradually contracted their limits, and look now exactly like knee- +breeches, without the usual buttons at the bottom. + +These, with the addition of a pair of green spectacles, the glass of one +being absent, and permitting the look-out of a sharp, grey eye, twinkling +with drollery and good humour, form the most palpable of his externals. +In point of character, they who best knew him represented him as the +best-tempered, best-hearted fellow breathing; ever ready to assist a +friend, and always postponing his own plans and his own views, when he +had any, to the wishes and intentions of others. Among the many odd +things about him, was a constant preference to travelling on foot, and a +great passion for living abroad, both of which tastes he gratified, +although his size might seem to offer obstacles to the one, and his total +ignorance of every continental language, would appear to preclude the +other; with a great liking for tobacco, which he smoked all day--a +fondness for whist and malt liquors--his antipathies were few; so that +except when called upon to shave more than once in the week, or wash his +hands twice on the same day, it was difficult to disconcert him. His +fortune was very ample; but although his mode of living was neither very +ostentatious nor costly, he contrived always to spend his income. Such +was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, who, I must confess, +appeared strangely puzzled by his manner and appearance. This feeling, +however, soon wore off; and before he had spent the morning in their +company, he had made more way in their good graces, and gone farther to +establish intimacy, than many a more accomplished person, with an +unexceptionable coat and accurate whisker might have effected in +a fortnight. What were his gifts in this way, I am, alas, most +deplorably ignorant of; it was not, heaven knows, that he possessed any +conversational talent--of successful flattery he knew as much as a negro +does of the national debt--and yet the "bon-hommie" of his character +seemed to tell at once; and I never knew him fail in any one instance to +establish an interest for himself before he had completed the ordinary +period of a visit. + +I think it is Washington Irving who has so admirably depicted the +mortification of a dandy angler, who, with his beaver garnished with +brown hackles, his well-posed rod, polished gaff, and handsome landing- +net, with every thing befitting, spends his long summer day whipping a +trout stream without a rise or even a ripple to reward him, while a +ragged urchin, with a willow wand, and a bent pin, not ten yards distant, +is covering the greensward with myriads of speckled and scaly backs, from +one pound weight to four; so it is in every thing--"the race is not to +the swift;" the elements of success in life, whatever be the object of +pursuit, are very, very different from what we think them at first sight, +and so it was with Mr. O'Leary, and I have more than once witnessed the +triumph of his homely manner and blunt humour over the more polished and +well-bred taste of his competitors for favour; and what might have been +the limit to such success, heaven alone can tell, if it were not that he +laboured under a counter-balancing infirmity, sufficient to have swamped +a line-of-battle ship itself. It was simply this--a most unfortunate +propensity to talk of the wrong place, person, or time, in any society he +found himself; and this taste for the mal apropos, extended so far, that +no one ever ventured into company with him as his friend, without +trembling for the result; but even this, I believe his only fault, +resulted from the natural goodness of his character and intentions; +for, believing as he did, in his honest simplicity, that the arbitrary +distinctions of class and rank were held as cheaply by others as himself, +he felt small scruple at recounting to a duchess a scene in a cabaret, +and with as little hesitation would he, if asked, have sung the +"Cruiskeen lawn," or the "Jug of Punch," after Lablanche had finished +the "Al Idea," from Figaro. 'Mauvaise honte,' he had none; indeed I am +not sure that he had any kind of shame whatever, except possibly when +detected with a coat that bore any appearance of newness, or if +overpersuaded to wear gloves, which he ever considered as a special +effeminacy. + +Such, in a few words, was the gentleman I now presented to my friends, +and how far he insinuated himself into their good graces, let the fact +tell, that on my return to the breakfast-room, after about an hour's +absence, I heard him detailing the particulars of a route they were to +take by his advice, and also learned that he had been offered and had +accepted a seat in their carriage to Paris. + +"Then I'll do myself the pleasure of joining your party, Mrs. Bingham," +said he. "Bingham, I think, madam, is your name." + +"Yes, Sir." + +"Any relation, may I ask, of a most dear friend of mine, of the same +name, from Currynaslattery, in the county Wexford?" + +"I am really not aware," said Mrs. Bingham. "My husband's family are, I +believe, many of them from that county." + +"Ah, what a pleasant fellow was Tom!" said Mr. O'Leary musingly, +and with that peculiar tone which made me tremble, for I knew well +that a reminiscence was coming. "A pleasant fellow indeed." + +"Is he alive, sir, now?" + +"I believe so, ma'am; but I hear the climate does not agree with him." + +"Ah, then, he's abroad! In Italy probably?" + +"No, ma'am, in Botany Bay. His brother, they say, might have saved him, +but he left poor Tom to his fate, for he was just then paying court to a +Miss Crow, I think, with a large fortune. Oh, Lord, what have I said, +it's always the luck of me!" The latter exclamation was the result of a +heavy saugh upon the floor, Mrs. Bingham having fallen in a faint--she +being the identical lady alluded to, and her husband the brother of +pleasant Tom Bingham. + +To hurl Mr. O'Leary out of the room by one hand, and ring the bell with +the other, was the work of a moment; and with proper care, and in due +time, Mrs. Bingham was brought to herself, when most fortunately, she +entirely forgot the cause of her sudden indisposition; and, of course, +neither her daughter nor myself suffered any clue to escape us which +might lead to its discovery. + +When we were once more upon the road, to efface if it might be necessary +any unpleasant recurrence to the late scene, I proceeded to give Mrs. +Bingham an account of my adventure at Chantraine, in which, of course, I +endeavoured to render my friend O'Leary all the honours of being laughed +at in preference to myself, laying little stress upon my masquerading in +the jack-boots. + +"You are quite right," said O'Leary, joining in the hearty laugh against +him, "quite right, I was always a very heavy sleeper--indeed if I wasn't +I wouldn't be here now, travelling about en garcon, free as air;" here he +heaved a sigh, which from its incongruity with his jovial look and happy +expression, threw us all into renewed laughter. + +"But why, Mr. O'Leary--what can your sleepiness have to do with such +tender recollections, for such, I am sure, that sigh bespeaks them?" + +"Ah! ma'am, it may seem strange, but it is nevertheless true, if it were +not for that unfortunate tendency, I should now be the happy possessor of +a most accomplished and amiable lady, and eight hundred per annum three +and a half per cent. stock." + +"You overslept yourself on the wedding-day, I suppose." + +"You shall hear, ma'am, the story is a very short one: It is now about +eight years ago, I was rambling through the south of France, and had just +reached Lyons, where the confounded pavement, that sticks up like pears, +with the point upwards, had compelled me to rest some days and recruit; +for this purpose I installed myself in the pension of Madame Gourgead, +Rue de Petits Carmes, a quiet house--where we dined at twelve, ten in +number, upon about two pounds of stewed beef, with garlic and carrots-- +a light soup, being the water which accompanied the same to render it +tender in stewing--some preserved cherries, and an omellete, with a pint +bottle of Beaune, 6me qualite, I believe--a species of pyroligneous wine +made from the vine stalks, but pleasant in summer with your salad; then +we played dominos in the evening, or whist for sous points, leading +altogether a very quiet and virtuous existence, or as Madame herself +expressed it, 'une vie tout-a-fait patriarchale;' of this I cannot myself +affirm how far she was right in supposing the patriarchs did exactly like +us. But to proceed, in the same establishment there lived a widow whose +late husband had been a wine merchant at Dijon--he had also, I suppose +from residing in that country, been imitating the patriarchs, for he died +one day. Well, the lady was delayed at Lyons for some law business, and +thus it came about, that her husband's testament and the sharp paving +stones in the streets determined we should be acquainted. I cannot +express to you the delight of my fair countrywoman at finding that a +person who spoke English had arrived at the 'pension'--a feeling I myself +somewhat participated in; for to say truth, I was not at that time a very +great proficient in French. We soon became intimate, in less time +probably than it could otherwise have happened, for from the ignorance of +all the others of one word of English, I was enabled during dinner to say +many soft and tender things, which one does not usually venture on in +company. + +"I recounted my travels, and told various adventures of my wanderings, +till at last, from being merely amused, I found that my fair friend began +to be interested in my narratives; and frequently when passing the +bouillon to her, I have seen a tear in the corner of her eye: in a word, +'she loved me for the dangers I had passed,' as Othello says. Well, +laugh away if you like, but it's truth I am telling you." At this part +of Mr. O'Leary's story we all found it impossible to withstand the +ludicrous mock heroic of his face and tone, and laughed loud and long. +When we at length became silent he resumed--"Before three weeks had +passed over, I had proposed and was accepted, just your own way, Mr. +Lorrequer, taking the ball at the hop, the very same way you did at +Cheltenham, the time the lady jilted you, and ran off with your friend +Mr. Waller; I read it all in the news, though I was then in Norway +fishing." Here there was another interruption by a laugh, not, however, +at Mr. O'Leary's expense. I gave him a most menacing look, while he +continued--"the settlements were soon drawn up, and consisted, like all +great diplomatic documents, of a series of 'gains and compensations;' +thus, she was not to taste any thing stronger than kirsch wasser, or +Nantz brandy; and I limited myself to a pound of short-cut weekly, and so +on: but to proceed, the lady being a good Catholic, insisted upon being +married by a priest of her own persuasion, before the performance of the +ceremony at the British embassy in Paris; to this I could offer no +objection, and we were accordingly united in the holy bonds the same +morning, after signing the law papers." + +"Then, Mr. O'Leary, you are really a married man." + +"That's the very point I'm coming to, ma'am; for I've consulted all the +jurists upon the subject, and they never can agree. But you shall hear. +I despatched a polite note to Bishop Luscombe, and made every arrangement +for the approaching ceremony, took a quartier in the Rue Helder, near the +Estaminet, and looked forward with anxiety for the day which was to make +my happy; for our marriage in Lyons was only a kind of betrothal. Now, +my fair friend had but one difficulty remaining, poor dear soul--I +refrain from mentioning her name for delicacy sake; but poor dear Mrs. +Ram could not bear the notion of our going up to Paris in the same +conveyance, for long as she had lived abroad, she had avoided every thing +French, even the language, so she proposed that I should go in the early +'Diligence,' which starts at four-o'clock in the morning, while she took +her departure at nine; thus I should be some hours sooner in Paris, and +ready to receive her on her arriving; besides sparing her bashfulness all +reproach of our travelling together. It was no use my telling her that +I always travelled on foot, and hated a 'Diligence;' she coolly replied +that at our time of life we could not spare the time necessary for a +pilgrimage to Jerusalem, for so she supposed the journey from Lyons to +Paris to be; so fearing lest any doubt might be thrown upon the ardour of +my attachment, I yielded at once, remembering at the moment what my poor +friend Tom Bing--Oh Lord, I'm at it again!" + +"Sir, I did not hear." + +"Nothing, ma'am, I was just going to observe, that ladies of a certain +time of life, and widows especially, like a lover that seems a little +ardent or so, all the better." Here Mrs. Bingham blushed, her daughter +bridled, and I nearly suffocated with shame and suppressed laughter. + +"After a most tender farewell of my bride or wife, I don't know which, +I retired for the night with a mind vacillating between my hopes of +happiness and my fears for the result of a journey so foreign to all my +habits of travelling, and in which I could not but tremble at the many +casualties my habitual laziness and dislike to any hours but of my own +choosing might involve me in. + +"I had scarcely lain down in bed, ere these thoughts took such possession +of me, that sleep for once in my life was out of the question; and then +the misery of getting up at four in the morning--putting on your clothes +by the flickering light of the porter's candle--getting your boots on the +wrong feet, and all that kind of annoyance--I am sure I fretted myself +into the feeling of a downright martyr before an hour was over. Well at +least, thought I, one thing is well done,--I have been quite right in +coming to sleep here at the Messagerie Hotel, where the diligence starts +from, or the chances are ten to one that I never should wake till the +time was past. Now, however, they are sure to call me; so I may sleep +tranquilly till then. Meanwhile I had forgotten to pack my trunk--my +papers, &c. laying all about the room in a state of considerable +confusion. I rose at once with all the despatch I could muster; this +took a long time to effect, and it was nearly two o'clock ere I finished, +and sat down to smoke a solitary pipe,--the last, as I supposed it might +be my lot to enjoy for heaven knows how long, Mrs. R. having expressed, +rather late in our intimacy I confess, strong opinions against tobacco +within doors. + +"When I had finished my little sac of the 'weed,' the clock struck three, +and I started to think how little time I was destined to have in bed. +In bed! why, said I, there is no use thinking of it now, for I shall +scarcely have lain down ere I shall be obliged to get up again. So +thinking, I set about dressing myself for the road; and by the time I had +enveloped myself in a pair of long Hungarian gaiters, and a kurtcha of +sheep's wool, with a brown bear-skin outside, with a Welsh wig, and a +pair of large dark glass goggles to defend the eyes from the snow, I was +not only perfectly impervious to all effects of the weather, but so +thoroughly defended from any influence of sight or sound, that a volcano +might be hissing and thundering within ten yards of me, without +attracting my slightest attention. Now, I thought, instead of remaining +here, I'll just step down to the coach, and get snugly in the diligence, +and having secured the corner of the coupe, resign myself to sleep with +the certainty of not being left behind, and, probably, too, be some miles +on my journey before awaking. + +"I accordingly went down stairs, and to my surprise found, even at that +early hour, that many of the garcons of the house were stirring and +bustling about, getting all the luggage up in the huge wooden leviathan +that was to convey us on our road. There they stood, like bees around a +hive, clustering and buzzing, and all so engaged that with difficulty +could I get an answer to my question of, What diligence it was? 'La +diligence pour Paris, Monsieur.' + +"'Ah, all right then,' said I; so watching an opportunity to do so +unobserved, for I supposed they might have laughed at me, I stepped +quietly into the coupe; and amid the creaking of cordage, and the +thumping of feet on the roof, fell as sound asleep as ever I did in my +life--these sounds coming to my muffled ears, soft as the echoes on the +Rhine. When it was that I awoke I cannot say; but as I rubbed my eyes +and yawned after a most refreshing sleep, I perceived that it was still +quite dark all around, and that the diligence was standing before the +door of some inn and not moving. Ah, thought I, this is the first stage; +how naturally one always wakes at the change of horses,--a kind of +instinct implanted by Providence, I suppose, to direct us to a little +refreshment on the road. With these pious feelings I let down the glass, +and called out to the garcon for a glass of brandy and a cigar. While he +was bringing them, I had time to look about, and perceived, to my very +great delight, that I had the whole coupe to myself. 'Are there any +passengers coming in here?' said I, as the waiter came forward with my +petit verre. 'I should think not, sir,' said the fellow with a leer. +'Then I shall have the whole coupe to myself?' said I. 'Monsieur need +have no fear of being disturbed; I can safely assure him that he will +have no one there for the next twenty-four hours.' This was really +pleasant intelligence; so I chucked him a ten sous piece, and closing up +the window as the morning was cold, once more lay back to sleep with a +success that has never failed me. It was to a bright blue cloudless sky, +and the sharp clear air of a fine day in winter, that I at length opened +my eyes. I pulled out my watch, and discovered it was exactly two +o'clock; I next lowered the glass and looked about me, and very much to +my surprise discovered that the diligence was not moving, but standing +very peaceably in a very crowded congregation of other similar and +dissimilar conveyances, all of which seemed, I thought, to labour under +some physical ailment, some wanting a box, others a body, &c., &c. and in +fact suggesting the idea of an infirmary for old and disabled carriages +of either sex, mails and others. 'Oh, I have it,' cried I, 'we are +arrived at Mt. Geran, and they are all at dinner, and from my being alone +in the coupe, they have forgotten to call me.' I immediately opened the +door and stepped out into the innyard, crowded with conducteurs, grooms, +and ostlers, who, I thought, looked rather surprised at seeing me emerge +from the diligence. + +"'You did not know I was there,' said I, with a knowing wink at one of +them as I passed. + +"'Assurement non,' said the fellow with a laugh, that was the signal for +all the others to join in it. 'Is the table d'hote over?' said I, +regardless of the mirth around me. 'Monsieur is just in time,' said the +waiter, who happened to pass with a soup-tureen in his hand. 'Have the +goodness to step this way.' I had barely time to remark the close +resemblance of the waiter to the fellow who presented me with my brandy +and cigar in the morning, when he ushered me into a large room with about +forty persons sitting at a long table, evidently waiting with impatience +for the 'Potage' to begin their dinner. Whether it was they enjoyed the +joke of having neglected to call me, or that they were laughing at my +travelling costume, I cannot say, but the moment I came in, I could +perceive a general titter run through the assembly. 'Not too late, after +all, gentlemen,' said I, marching gravely up the table. + +"'Monsieur is in excellent time,' said the host, making room for me +beside his chair. Notwithstanding the incumbrance of my weighty +habiliments, I proceeded to do ample justice to the viands before me, +apologizing laughingly to the host, by pleading a traveller's appetite. + +"'Then you have perhaps come far this morning,' said a gentleman +opposite. + +"'Yes,' said I, 'I have been on the road since four o'clock.' + +"'And how are the roads?' said another. 'Very bad,' said I, 'the first +few stages from Lyons, afterwards much better.' This was said at a +venture, as I began to be ashamed of being always asleep before my +fellow-travellers. They did not seem, however, to understand me +perfectly; and one old fellow putting down his spectacles from his +forehead, leaned over and said: 'And where, may I ask, has Monsieur come +from this morning?' + +"'From Lyons,' said I, with the proud air of a man who has done a stout +feat, and is not ashamed of the exploit. + +"'From Lyons!' said one. 'From Lyons!' cried another. 'From Lyons!' +repeated a third. + +"'Yes,' said I; 'what the devil is so strange in it; travelling is so +quick now-a-days, one thinks nothing of twenty leagues before dinner.' + +"The infernal shout of laughing that followed my explanation is still in +my ears; from one end of the table to the other there was one continued +ha, ha, ha--from the greasy host to the little hunchbacked waiter, they +were all grinning away. + +"'And how did Monsieur travel?' said the old gentleman, who seemed to +carry on the prosecution against me. + +"'By the diligence, the "Aigle noir,"' said I, giving the name with some +pride, that I was not altogether ignorant of the conveyance. + +"'The you should certainly not complain of the roads,' said the host +chuckling; 'for the only journey that diligence has made this day has +been from the street-door to the inn-yard; for as they found when the +luggage was nearly packed that the axle was almost broken through, they +wheeled it round to the court, and prepared another for the travellers.' + +"'And where am I now?' said I. + +"'In Lyons,' said twenty voices, half choked with laughter at my +question. + +"I was thunderstruck at the news at first; but as I proceeded with my +dinner, I joined in the mirth of the party, which certainly was not +diminished on my telling them the object of my intended journey. + +"'I think, young man,' said the old fellow with the spectacles, 'that you +should take the occurrence as a warning of Providence that marriage will +not suit you.' I began to be of the same opinion;--but then there was +the jointure. To be sure, I was to give up tobacco; and perhaps I should +not be as free to ramble about as when en garcon. So taking all things +into consideration, I ordered in another bottle of burgundy, to drink +Mrs. Ram's health--got my passport vised for Barege--and set out for the +Pyrenees the same evening." + +"And have you never heard any thing more of the lady?" said Mrs. Bingham. + +"Oh, yes. She was faithful to the last; for I found out when at Rome +last winter that she had offered a reward for me in the newspapers, and +indeed had commenced a regular pursuit of me through the whole continent. +And to tell the real fact, I should not now fancy turning my steps +towards Paris, if I had not very tolerable information that she is in +full cry after me through the Wengen Alps, I having contrived a paragraph +in Galignani, to seduce her thither, and where, with the blessing of +Providence, if the snow set in early, she must pass the winter." + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +PARIS. + +Nothing more worthy of recording occurred before our arrival at Meurice +on the third day of our journey. My friend O'Leary had, with his usual +good fortune, become indispensable to his new acquaintance, and it was +not altogether without some little lurking discontent that I perceived +how much less often my services were called in request since his having +joined our party; his information, notwithstanding its very scanty +extent, was continually relied upon, and his very imperfect French +everlastingly called into requisition to interpret a question for the +ladies. Yes, thought I, "Othello's occupation's gone;" one of two things +has certainly happened, either Mrs. Bingham and her daughter have noticed +my continued abstraction of mind, and have attributed it to the real +cause, the pre-occupation of my affections; or thinking, on the other +hand, that I am desperately in love with one or other of them, have +thought that a little show of preference to Mr. O'Leary may stimulate me +to a proposal at once. In either case I resolved to lose no time in +taking my leave, which there could be no difficulty in doing now, as the +ladies had reached their intended destination, and had numerous friends +in Paris to advise and assist them; besides that I had too long neglected +the real object of my trip, and should lose no time in finding out the +Callonbys, and at once learn what prospect of success awaited me in that +quarter. Leaving my fair friends then to refresh themselves after the +journey, and consigning Mr. O'Leary to the enjoyment of his meershaum, +through the aid of which he had rendered his apartment like a Dutch swamp +in autumn, the only portion of his own figure visible through the mist +being his short legs and heavy shoes. + +On reaching the house in the Rue de la Paix, where the Callonbys had +resided, I learned that they were still at Baden, and were not expected +in Paris for some weeks; that Lord Kilkee had arrived that morning, and +was then dining at the Embassy, having left an invitation for me to dine +with him on the following day, if I happened to call. As I turned from +the door, uncertain whither to turn my steps, I walked on unconsciously +towards the Boulevard, and occupied as I was, thinking over all the +chances before me, did not perceive where I stood till the bright glare +of a large gas lamp over my head apprised me that I was at the door of +the well known Salon des Etrangers, at the corner of the Rue Richelieu; +carriages, citadines, and vigilantes were crowding, crashing, and +clattering on all sides, as the host of fashion and the gaming-table were +hastening to their champ de bataille. Not being a member of the Salon, +and having little disposition to enter, if I had been, I stood for some +minutes looking at the crowd as it continued to press on towards the +splendid and brilliantly lighted stairs, which leads from the very street +to the rooms of the palace, for such, in the magnificence and luxury of +its decorations, it really is. As I was on the very eve of turning +away, a large and very handsome cab-horse turned the corner from the +balustrade, with the most perfect appointment of harness and carriage +I had seen for a long time. + +While I continued to admire the taste and propriety of the equipage, a +young man in deep mourning sprung from the inside and stood upon the +pavement before me. "A deux heures, Charles," said he to his servant, +as the cab turned slowly around. The voice struck me as well known. I +waited till he approached the lamp, to catch a glimpse of the face; and +what was my surprise to recognise my cousin, Guy Lorrequer of the 10th, +whom I had not met with for six years before. My first impulse was not +to make myself known to him. Our mutual position with regard to Lady +Jane was so much a mystery, as regarded myself, that I feared the result +of any meeting, until I was sufficiently aware of how matters stood, and +whether we were to meet as friends and relations, or rivals, and +consequently enemies. + +Before I had time to take my resolution, Guy had recognised me, and +seizing me by the hand with both his, called, "Harry, my old friend, how +are you?" how long have you been here, and never to call on me? Why man, +what is the meaning of this?" Before I had time to say that I was only a +few hours in Paris, he again interrupted me by saying: "And how comes it +that you are not in mourning? You must surely have heard it." + +"Heard what?" I cried, nearly hoarse from agitation. "Our poor old +friend, Sir Guy, didn't you know, is dead." Only those who have felt how +strong the ties of kindred are, as they decrease in number, can tell how +this news fell upon my heart. All my poor uncle's kindnesses came one by +one full upon my memory; his affectionate letters of advice; his well- +meant chidings, too, even dearer to me than his praise and approval, +completely unmanned me; and I stood speechless and powerless before my +cousin as he continued to detail to me the rapid progress of Sir Guy's +malady, and attack of gout in the head, which carried him off in three +days. Letters had been sent to me in different places, but none reached; +and at the very moment the clerk of my uncle's lawyer was in pursuit of +me through the highlands, where some mistaken information had induced him +to follow me. + +"You are, therefore," continued Guy, "unaware that our uncle has dealt so +fairly by you, and indeed by both of us; I have got the Somersetshire +estates, which go with the baronetcy; but the Cumberland property is all +yours; and I heartily wish you joy of having nearly eight thousand per +annum, and one of the sweetest villas that ever man fancied on +Derwentwater. But come along here," continued he, and he led me through +the crowded corridor and up the wide stair. "I have much to tell you, +and we can be perfectly alone here; no one will trouble themselves with +us." Unconscious of all around me, I followed Guy along the gilded and +glittering lobby, which led to the Salon, and it was only as the servant +in rich livery came forward to take my hat and cane that I remembered +where I was. Then the full sense of all I had been listening to rushed +upon me, and the unfitness, and indeed the indecency of the place for +such communications as we were engaged in, came most forcibly before me. +Sir Guy, it is true, had always preferred my cousin to me; he it was who +was always destined to succeed both to his title and his estates, and his +wildness and extravagance had ever met with a milder rebuke and weaker +chastisement than my follies and my misfortunes. Yet still he was my +last remaining relative; the only one I possessed in all the world to +whom in any difficulty or trial I had to look up; and I felt, in the very +midst of my newly acquired wealth and riches, poorer and more alone than +ever I had done in my lifetime. I followed Guy to a small and dimly +lighted cabinet off the great salon, where, having seated ourselves, he +proceeded to detail to me the various events which a few short weeks had +accomplished. Of himself he spoke but little, and never once alluded to +the Callonbys at all; indeed all I could learn was that he had left the +army, and purposed remaining for the winter at Paris, where he appeared +to have entered into all its gaiety and dissipation at once. + +"Of course," said he, "you will give up 'sodgering' now; at the best it +is but poor sport after five and twenty, and is perfectly unendurable +when a man has the means of pushing himself in the gay world; and now, +Harry, let us mix a little among the mob here; for Messieurs les +Banquiers don't hold people in estimation who come here only for the +'chapons au riz.' and the champagne glacee, as we should seem to do were +we to stay here much longer." + +Such was the whirl of my thoughts, and so great the confusion in my ideas +from all I had just heard, that I felt myself implicitly following every +direction of my cousin with a child-like obedience, of the full extent +of which I became only conscious when I found myself seated at the table +of the Salon, between my cousin Guy and an old, hard-visaged, pale- +countenanced man, who he told me in a whisper was Vilelle the Minister. + +What a study for the man who would watch the passions and emotions of his +fellow-men, would the table of a rouge et noir gambling-house present-- +the skill and dexterity which games of other kinds require, being here +wanting, leave the player free to the full abandonment of the passion. +The interest is not a gradually increasing or vacillating one, as fortune +and knowledge of the game favour; the result is uninfluenced by any thing +of his doing; with the last turned card of the croupier is he rich or +ruined; and thus in the very abstraction of the anxiety is this the most +painfully exciting of all gambling whatever; the very rattle of the dice- +box to the hazard player is a relief; and the thought that he is in some +way instrumental in his good or bad fortune gives a turn to his thoughts. +There is something so like the inevitable character of fate associated +with the result of a chance, which you can in no way affect or avert, +that I have, notwithstanding a strong bias for play, ever dreaded and +avoided the rouge et noir table; hitherto prudential motives had their +share in the resolve; a small loss at play becomes a matter of importance +to a sub in a marching regiment; and therefore I was firm in my +determination to avoid the gambling-table. Now my fortunes were altered; +and as I looked at the heap of shining louis d'or, which Guy pushed +before me in exchange for a billet de banque of large amount, I felt the +full importance of my altered position, mingling with the old and long +practised prejudices which years had been accumulating to fix. There is +besides some wonderful fascination to most men in the very aspect of high +play: to pit your fortune against that of another--to see whether or not +your luck shall not exceed some others--are feelings that have a place in +most bosoms, and are certainly, if not naturally existing, most easily +generated in the bustle and excitement of the gambling-house. The +splendour of the decorations; the rich profusion of gilded ornaments; the +large and gorgeously framed mirrors; the sparkling lustres; mingling +their effect with the perfumed air of the apartment, filled with orange +trees and other aromatic shrubs; the dress of the company, among whom +were many ladies in costumes not inferior to those of a court; the +glitter of diamonds; the sparkle of stars and decorations, rendered more +magical by knowing that the wearers were names in history. There, with +his round but ample shoulder, and large massive head, covered with long +snow-white hair, stands Talleyrand, the maker and unmaker of kings, +watching with a look of ill-concealed anxiety the progress of his game. +Here is Soult, with his dogged look and beetled brow; there stands Balzac +the author, his gains here are less derived from the betting than the +bettors; he is evidently making his own of some of them, while in the +seeming bon hommie of his careless manners and easy abandon, they scruple +not to trust him with anecdotes and traits, that from the crucible of his +fiery imagination come forth, like the purified gold from the furnace. +And there, look at that old and weather-beaten man, with grey eyebrows, +and moustaches, who throws from the breast-pocket of his frock ever and +anon, a handful of gold pieces upon the table; he evidently neither knows +nor cares for the amount, for the banker himself is obliged to count over +the stake for him--that is Blucher, the never-wanting attendant at the +Salon; he has been an immense loser, but plays on with the same stern +perseverance with which he would pour his bold cavalry through a ravine +torn by artillery; he stands by the still waning chance with a courage +that never falters. + +One strong feature of the levelling character of a taste for play has +never ceased to impress me most forcibly--not only do the individual +peculiarities of the man give way before the all-absorbing passion--but +stranger still, the very boldest traits of nationality even fade and +disappear before it; and man seems, under the high-pressure power of this +greatest of all stimulants, resolved into a most abstract state. + +Among all the traits which distinguish Frenchmen from natives of every +country, none is more prominent than a kind of never-failing elasticity +of temperament, which seems almost to defy all the power of misfortune to +depress. Let what will happen, the Frenchman seems to possess some +strong resource within himself, in his ardent temperament, upon which he +can draw at will; and whether on the day after a defeat, the moment of +being deceived in his strongest hopes of returned affection--the +overthrow of some long-cherished wish--it matters not--he never gives way +entirely; but see him at the gaming-table--watch the intense, the aching +anxiety with which his eye follows every card as it falls from the hand +of the croupier--behold the look of cold despair that tracks his stake as +the banker rakes it in among his gains--and you will at once perceive +that here, at least, his wonted powers fail him. No jest escapes the +lips of one, that would badinet upon the steps of the guillotine. The +mocker who would jeer at the torments of revolution, stands like a coward +quailing before the impassive eye and pale cheek of a croupier. While +I continued to occupy myself by observing the different groups about me, +I had been almost mechanically following the game, placing at each deal +some gold upon the table; the result however had interested me so +slightly, that it was only by remarking the attention my game had excited +in others, that my own was drawn towards it. I then perceived that I had +permitted my winnings to accumulate upon the board, and that in the very +deal then commencing, I had a stake of nearly five hundred pounds upon +the deal. + +"Faites votre jeu, le jeu est fait," said the croupier, "trente deux." + +"You have lost, by Jove," said Guy, in a low whisper, in which I could +detect some trait of agitation. + +"Trente et une," added the croupier. "Rouge perd, et couleur." + +There was a regular buz of wonder through the room at my extraordinary +luck, for thus, with every chance against me, I had won again. + +As the croupier placed the billets de banque upon the table, I overheard +the muttered commendations of an old veteran behind me, upon the coolness +and judgment of my play; so much for fortune, thought I, my judgment +consists in a perfect ignorance of the chances, and my coolness is merely +a thorough indifference to success; whether it was now that the flattery +had its effect upon me, or that the passion for play, so long dormant, +had suddenly seized hold upon me, I know not, but my attention became +from that moment rivetted upon the game, and I played every deal. Guy, +who had been from the first betting with the indifferent success which I +have so often observed to attend upon the calculations of old and +experienced gamblers, now gave up, and employed himself merely in +watching my game. + +"Harry," said he at last, "I am completely puzzled as to whether you are +merely throwing down your louis at hazard, or are not the deepest player +I have ever met with." + +"You shall see," said I, as I stooped over towards the banker, and +whispered, "how far is the betting permitted?" + +"Fifteen thousand francs," said the croupier, with a look of surprise. + +"Then be it," said I; "quinze mille francs, rouge." + +In a moment the rouge won, and the second deal I repeated the bet, and so +continuing on with the like success; when I was preparing my rouleau for +the fifth, the banquier rose, and saying-- + +"Messiers, la banque est fermee pour ce soir," proceeded to lock his +casette, and close the table. + +"You are satisfied now," said Guy, rising, "you see you have broke the +banque, and a very pretty incident to commence with your first +introduction to a campaign in Paris." + +Having changed my gold for notes, I stuffed them, with an air of well- +affected carelessness, into my pocket, and strolled through the Salon, +where I had now become an object of considerably more interest than all +the marshals and ministers about me. + +"Now, Hal," said Guy, "I'll just order our supper in the cabinet, and +join you in a moment." + +As I remained for some minutes awaiting Guy's return, my attention was +drawn towards a crowd, in a smaller salon, among whom the usual silent +decorum of the play-table seemed held in but small respect, for every +instant some burst of hearty laughter, or some open expression of joy or +anger burst forth, by which I immediately perceived that they were the +votaries of the roulette table, a game at which the strict propriety and +etiquette ever maintained at rouge et noir, are never exacted. As I +pressed nearer, to discover the cause of the mirth, which every moment +seemed to augment, guess my surprise to perceive among the foremost rank +of the players, my acquaintance, Mr. O'Leary, whom I at that moment +believed to be solacing himself with his meershaum at Meurice. My +astonishment at how he obtained admission to the Salon was even less than +my fear of his recognising me. At no time is it agreeable to find that +the man who is regarded as the buffo of a party turns out to be your +friend, but still less is this so, when the individual claiming +acquaintance with you presents any striking absurdity in his dress or +manner, strongly at contrast with the persons and things about him; and +thus it now happened--Mr. O'Leary's external man, as we met him on the +Calais road, with its various accompaniments of blouse-cap, spectacles, +and tobacco-pipe, were nothing very outre or remarkable, but when the +same figure presented itself among the elegans of the Parisian world, +redolent of eau de Portugal, and superb in the glories of brocade +waistcoats and velvet coats, the thing was too absurd, and I longed to +steal away before any chance should present itself of a recognition. +This, however, was impossible, as the crowd from the other table were all +gathered round us, and I was obliged to stand fast, and trust that the +excitement of the game, in which he appeared to be thoroughly occupied, +might keep his eye fixed on another quarter; I now observed that the same +scene in which I had so lately been occupied at the rouge et noir table, +was enacting here, under rather different circumstances. Mr. O'Leary was +the only player, as I had just been--not, however, because his success +absorbed all the interest of the bystanders, but that, unfortunately, his +constant want of it elicited some strong expression of discontent and +mistrust from him, which excited the loud laughter of the others; but of +which, from his great enxiety in his game, he seemed totally unconscious. + +"Faites votre jeu, Messieurs," said the croupier. + +"Wait a bit till I change this," said Mr. O'Leary, producing an English +sovereign; the action interpreted his wishes, and the money was converted +into coupons de jeu. + +I now discovered one great cause of the mirth of the bystanders, at least +the English portion of them. Mr. O'Leary, when placing his money upon +the table, observed the singular practice of announcing aloud the amount +of his bet, which, for his own information, he not only reduced to +English but also Irish currency; thus the stillness of the room was every +instant broken by a strong Irish accent pronouncing something of this +sort--"five francs," "four and a penny"--"ten francs," "eight and three +ha'pence." The amusement thus caused was increased by the excitement his +losses threw him into. He now ceased to play for several times, when at +last, he made an offering of his usual stake. + +"Perd," said the croupier, raking in the piece with a contemptuous air +at the smallness of the bet, and in no way pleased that the interest +Mr. O'Leary excited should prevent the other players from betting. + +"Perd," said O'Leary, "again. Divil another song you sing than 'perd,' +and I'm not quite clear you're not cheating all the while--only, God help +you if you are!" + +As he so said, the head of a huge black-thorn stick was half protruded +across the table, causing renewed mirth; for, among other regulations, +every cane, however trifling, is always demanded at the door; and thus a +new subject of astonishment arose as to how he had succeeded in carrying +it with him into the salon. + +"Here's at you again," said O'Leary, regardless of the laughter, and +covering three or four numbers with his jetons. + +Round went the ball once more, and once more he lost. + +"Look now, divil a lie in it, he makes them go wherever he pleases. I'll +take a turn now at the tables; fair play's a jewel--and we'll see how +you'll get on." + +So saying, he proceeded to insinuate himself into the chair of the +croupier, whom he proposed to supersede by no very gentle means. This +was of course resisted, and as the loud mirth of the bystanders grew more +and more boisterous, the cries of "a la porte, a la porte," from the +friends of the bank, rung through the crowd. + +"Go it, Pat--go it, Pat," said Guy, over my shoulder, who seemed to take +a prodigious interest in the proceedings. + +At this unexpected recognition of his nativity, for Mr. O'Leary never +suspected he could be discovered by his accent; he looked across the +table, and caught my eye at once. + +"Oh, I'm safe now! stand by me, Mr. Lorrequer, and we'll clear the room." + +So saying, and without any further provocation, he upset the croupier, +chair and all, with one sudden jerk upon the floor, and giving a +tremendous kick to the casette, sent all the five-franc pieces flying +over him; he then jumped upon the table, and brandishing his black-thorn +through the ormolu lustre, scattered the wax-lights on all sides, +accompanying the exploit by a yell that would have called up all +Connemara at midnight, if it had only been heard there; in an instant, +the gens d'armes, always sufficiently near to be called in if required, +came pouring into the room, and supposing the whole affair had been a +preconcerted thing to obtain possession of the money in the bank, +commenced capturing different members of the company who appeared, by +enjoying the confusion, to be favouring and assisting it. My cousin Guy +was one of the first so treated--a proceeding to which he responded by an +appeal rather in favour with most Englishmen, and at once knocked down +the gen d'arme; this was the signal for a general engagement, and +accordingly, before an explanation could possibly be attempted, a most +terrific combat ensued. The Frenchmen in the room siding with the gen +d'armerie, and making common cause against the English; who, although +greatly inferior in number, possessed considerable advantage, from long +habit in street-rows and boxing encounters. As for myself, I had the +good fortune to be pitted against a very pursy and unwieldy Frenchman, +who sacre'd to admiration, but never put in a single blow at me; while, +therefore, I amused myself practising what old Cribb called "the one, +two," upon his fat carcase, I had abundant time and opportunity to watch +all that was doing about me, and truly a more ludicrous affair I never +beheld. Imagine about fifteen or sixteen young Englishmen, most of them +powerful, athletic fellows, driving an indiscriminate mob of about five +times their number before them, who, with courage enough to resist, were +yet so totally ignorant of the boxing art, that they retreated, pell- +mell, before the battering phalanx of their sturdy opponents--the most +ludicrous figure of all being Mr. O'Leary himself, who, standing upon the +table, laid about him with a brass lustre that he had unstrung, and did +considerable mischief with this novel instrument of warfare, crying out +the entire time, "murder every mother's son of them," "give them another +taste of Waterloo." Just as he had uttered the last patriotic sentiment, +he received a slight admonition from behind, by the point of a gen +d'arme's sword, which made him leap from the table with the alacrity of a +harlequin, and come plump down among the thickest of the fray. My +attention was now directed elsewhere, for above all the din and "tapage" +of the encounter I could plainly hear the row-dow-dow of the drums, and +the measured tread of troops approaching, and at once guessed that a +reinforcement of the gen d'armerie were coming up. Behind me there was a +large window, with a heavy scarlet curtain before it; my resolution was +at once taken, I floored my antagonist, whom I had till now treated with +the most merciful forbearance, and immediately sprung behind the curtain. +A second's consideration showed that in the search that must ensue this +would afford no refuge, so I at once opened the sash, and endeavoured to +ascertain at what height I was above the ground beneath me; the night was +so dark that I could see nothing, but judging from the leaves and twigs +that reached to the window, that it was a garden beneath, and auguring +from the perfumed smell of the shrubs, that they could not be tall trees, +I resolved to leap, a resolve I had little time to come to, for the step +of the soldiers was already heard upon the stair. Fixing my hat then +down upon my brows, and buttoning my coat tightly, I let myself down from +the window-stool by my hands, and fell upon my legs in the soft earth of +the garden, safe and unhurt. From the increased clamour and din +overhead, I could learn the affray was at its height, and had little +difficulty in detecting the sonorous accent and wild threats of my friend +Mr. O'Leary, high above all the other sounds around him. I did not wait +long, however, to enjoy them; but at once set about securing my escape +from my present bondage. In this I had little difficulty, for I was +directed by a light to a small door, which, as I approached, found that +it led into the den of the Concierge, and also communicated by another +door with the street. I opened it, therefore, at once, and was in the +act of opening the second, when I felt myself seized by the collar by a +strong hand; and on turning round saw the sturdy figure of the Concierge +himself, with a drawn bayonet within a few inches of my throat, "Tenez, +mon ami," said I quietly, and placing half a dozen louis, some of my +recent spoils, in his hand, at once satisfied him that, even if I were a +robber, I was at least one that understood and respected the conveniences +of society. He at once relinquished his hold and dropped his weapon, and +pulling off his cap with one hand, to draw the cord which opened the +Porte Cochere with the other, bowed me politely to the street. I had +scarcely had time to insinuate myself into the dense mass of people whom +the noise and confusion within had assembled around the house, when the +double door of the building opened, and a file of gens d'armerie came +forth, leading between them my friend Mr. O'Leary and some others of the +rioters--among whom I rejoiced to find my cousin did not figure. If I +were to judge from his disordered habiliments and scarred visage, Mr. +O'Leary's resistance to the constituted authorities must have been a +vigorous one, and the drollery of his appearance was certainly not +decreased by his having lost the entire brim of his hat--the covering of +his head bearing, under these distressing circumstances, a strong +resemblance to a saucepan. + +As I could not at that moment contribute in any way to his rescue, I +determined on the following day to be present at his examination, and +render him all the assistance in my power. Meanwhile, I returned to +Meurice, thinking of every adventure of the evening much more than of my +own changed condition and altered fortunes. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +PARIS. + +The first thing which met my eye, when waking in the morning, after the +affair at the salon, was the rouleau of billets de banque which I had won +at play; and it took several minutes before I could persuade myself that +the entire recollection of the evening had any more solid foundation than +a heated brain and fevered imagination. The sudden spring, from being a +subaltern in the __th, with a few hundreds per annum--"pour tout potage," +to becoming the veritable proprietor of several thousands, with a +handsome house in Cumberland, was a consideration which I could scarcely +admit into my mind--so fearful was I, that the very first occurrence of +the day should dispel the illusion, and throw me back into the dull +reality which I was hoping to escape from. + +There is no adage more true than the old Latin one--"that what we wish, +we readily believe;" so, I had little difficulty in convincing myself +that all was as I desired--although, certainly, my confused memory of the +past evening contributed little to that conviction. It was, then, amid a +very whirl of anticipated pleasures, and new schemes for enjoying life, +that I sat down to a breakfast, at which, that I might lose no time in +commencing my race, I had ordered the most recherche viands which even +French cookery can accomplish for the occasion. + +My plans were soon decided upon. I resolved to remain only long enough +in Paris to provide myself with a comfortable travelling carriage--secure +a good courier--and start for Baden; when I trusted that my pretensions, +whatever favour they might have been once received with, would certainly +now, at least, be listened to with more prospect of being successful. + +I opened the Galignani's paper of the day, to direct me in my search, and +had scarcely read a few lines before a paragraph caught my eye, which not +a little amused me; it was headed--Serious riot at the Salon des +Etrangers, and attempt to rob the Bank:-- + +"Last evening, among the persons who presented themselves at the table of +this fashionable resort, were certain individuals, who, by their names +and dress bespoke any thing rather than the rank and condition of those +who usually resort there, and whose admission is still unexplained, +notwithstanding the efforts of the police to unravel the mystery. The +proprietors of the bank did not fail to remark these persons; but +scrupled, from fear of disturbing the propriety of the salon, to take the +necessary steps for their exclusion--reserving their attention to the +adoption of precautions against such intrusion in future--unfortunately, +as it turned out eventually, for, towards eleven o'clock, one of these +individuals, having lost a considerable sum at play, proceeded in a very +violent and outrageous manner to denounce the bank, and went so far as to +accuse the croupier of cheating. This language having failed to excite +the disturbance it was evidently intended to promote, was soon followed +up by a most dreadful personal attack upon the banquier, in which he was +thrown from his seat, and the cassette, containing several thousand +francs in gold and notes, immediately laid hold of. The confusion now +became considerable, and it was apparent, that the whole had been a pre- +concerted scheme. Several persons, leaping upon the table, attempted to +extinguish the great lustre of the salon, in which bold attempt, they +were most spiritedly resisted by some of the other players and the gens- +d'arme, who had by this time arrived in force. The riot was quelled +after a prolonged and desperate resistance, and the rioters, with the +exception of two, were captured, and conveyed to prison, where they await +the result of a judicial investigation--of which we shall not fail to lay +the particulars before our readers. + +"Since our going to press, we have learned that one of the ringleaders in +this vile scheme is a noted English escroc--a swindler, who was already +arrest at C____ for travelling with a false passport; but who contrives, +by some collusion with another of the gang, to evade the local +authorities. If this be the case, we trust he will speedily be detected +and brought to punishment." + +Whatever amusement I had found in reading the commencing portion of this +ridiculous misstatement, the allusion in the latter part by no means +afforded me equal pleasure; and I saw, in one rapid glance, how much +annoyance, and how many delays and impediments--a charge even of this +ridiculous nature, might give rise to in my present circumstances. My +passport, however, will settle all--thought I--as I thrust my hand +towards my pocket, in which I had placed it along with some letters. + +Guess my misery, to discover that the whole of the pocket had been cut +away, probably in the hope of obtaining the billets de banque I had won +at play, but which I had changed from that pocket to a breast one on +leaving the table. This at once led me to suspect that there might be +some truth in the suspicion of the newspaper writer of a pre-concerted +scheme, and at once explained to me what had much puzzled me before--the +extreme rapidity with which the elements of discord were propagated, for +the whole affair was the work of a few seconds. While I continued to +meditate on these matters, the waiter entered with a small note in an +envelope, which a commissionaire had just left at the hotel for me, and +went away, saying there was no answer. I opened it hastily, and read:-- + + "Dear H.--The confounded affair of last night has induced me to + leave this for a few days; besides that I have obtained a most + excellent reason for absenting myself in the presence of a black + eye, which will prevent my appearance in public for a week to come. + As you are a stranger here, you need not fear being detected. With + all its desagremens, I can't help laughing at the adventure, and I + am heartily glad to have had the opportunity of displaying old + Jackson's science upon those wretched gens-d'arme. + + "Your, truly, + "G.L." + +This, certainly, thought I, improves my position. Here is my cousin Guy +--the only one to whom, in any doubt or difficulty here, I could refer-- +here he is--flown, without letting me know where to address him or find +him out. I rung my bell hastily, and having written a line on my card, +requesting Lord Kilkee to come to me as soon as he could, despatched it +to the Rue de la Paix. The messenger soon returned with an answer, +that Lord Kilkee had been obliged to leave Paris late the evening before, +having received some important letters from Baden. My anxiety now became +greater. I did not know but that the moment I ventured to leave the +hotel I should be recognised by some of the witnesses of the evening's +fray; and all thoughts of succouring poor O'Leary were completely +forgotten in my fear for the annoyances the whole of this ridiculous +affair might involve me in. Without any decision as to my future steps, +I dressed myself, and proceeded to pay my respects to Mrs. Bingham and +her daughter, who were in the same hotel, and whom I had not seen since +our arrival. + +As I entered the drawing-room, I was surprised to find Miss Bingham +alone. She appeared to have been weeping--at least the efforts she made +to appear easy and in good spirits contrasted a good deal with the +expression of her features as I came in. To my inquiries for Mrs. +Bingham, I received for answer that the friends Mrs. Bingham had expected +having left a few days before for Baden, she had resolved on following +them, and had now merely driven out to make a few purchases before her +departure, which was to take place in the morning. + +There is something so sad in the thought of being deserted and left by +one's friends under any circumstances, that I cannot express how much +this intelligence affected me. It seemed, too, like the last stroke of +bad news filling up the full measure, that I was to be suddenly deprived +of the society of the very few friends about me, just as I stood most in +need of them. + +Whether or not Miss Bingham noticed my embarrassment, I cannot say; +but certainly she seemed not displeased, and there was in the half- +encouraging tone of her manner something which led me to suspect that she +was not dissatisfied with the impression her news seemed to produce upon +me. + +Without at all alluding to my own improved fortune, or to the events +of the preceding night, I began to talk over the coming journey, and +expressed my sincere regret that, having lost my passport under +circumstances which might create some delay in retrieving it, I could +not join their party as I should otherwise have done. + +Miss Bingham heard this speech with rather more emotion than so simple a +declaration was calculated to produce; and, while she threw down her eyes +beneath their long dark lashes, and coloured slightly, asked-- + +"And did you really wish to come with us?" + +"Undoubtedly," said I. + +"And is there no other objection than the passport?" + +"None whatever," said I, warming as I spoke, for the interest she +appeared to take in me completely upset all my calculations, besides that +I had never seen her looking so handsome, and that, as the French wisely +remark, "vaut toujours quelque chose." + +"Oh, then, pray come with us, which you can do, for mamma has just got +her passport for her nephew along with her own; and as we really don't +want him, nor he us, we shall both be better pleased to be free of each +other, and you can easily afterwards have your own forwarded to Baden by +post." + +"Ah, but," said I, "how shall I be certain, if I take so flattering an +offer, that you will forgive me for filling up the place of the dear +cousin; for, if I conjecture aright, it is 'Le Cher Edouard' that +purposes to be your companion." + +"Yes, you have guessed quite correctly; but you must not tax me with +inconsistency, but really I have grown quite tired of my poor cousin, +since I saw him last night." + +"And you used to admire him prodigiously." + +"Well, well, that is all true, but I do so no longer." + +"Eh! perche," said I, looking cunningly in her eye. + +"For reasons that Mr. Lorrequer shall never know if he has to ask them," +said the poor girl, covering her eyes with her hands, and sobbing +bitterly. + +What I thought, said, or did upon this occasion, with all my most sincere +desire to make a "clean breast of it in these confessions," I know not; +but this I do know, that two hours after, I found myself still sitting +upon the sofa beside Miss Bingham, whom I had been calling Emily all the +while, and talking more of personal matters and my own circumstances than +is ever safe or prudent for a young man to do with any lady under the age +of his mother. + +All that I can now remember of this interview, is the fact of having +arranged my departure in the manner proposed by Miss Bingham--a +proposition to which I acceded with an affectation of satisfaction that +I fear went very far to deceive my fair friend. Not that the pleasure +I felt in the prospect was altogether feigned; but certainly the habit +of being led away by the whim and temper of the moment had so much become +part of my nature, that I had long since despaired of ever guarding +myself against the propensity I had acquired, of following every lead +which any one might throw out for me. And thus, as poor Harry Lorrequer +was ever the first man to get into a row at the suggestion of a friend, +so he only waited the least possible pressing on any occasion, to involve +himself in any scrape or misfortune that presented itself, provided there +was only some one good enough to advise him to do so. + +As I entered my own room, to make preparations for my departure, I could +not help thinking over all the events thus crowded into the space of a +few hours. My sudden possession of wealth--my prospects at Callonby +still undecided--my scrape at the Salon--my late interview with Miss +Bingham, in which I had only stopped short of a proposal to marry, were +almost sufficient to occupy any reasonable mind; and so I was beginning +to suspect, when the waiter informed me that the Commissaire of Police +was in waiting below, and wished to speak to me. Affecting some surprise +at the request which I at once perceived the object of, I desired him to +be introduced. I was quite correct in my guess. The information of my +being concerned in the affair at the Salon had been communicated to the +authorities, and the Commissaire had orders to obtain bail for my +appearance at the Tribunal de Justice, on that day week, or commit me at +once to prison. The Commissaire politely gave me till evening to procure +the required bail, satisfying himself that he could adopt measures to +prevent my escape, and took his leave. He had scarcely gone when Mr. +Edward Bingham was announced--the reason for this visit I could not so +easily divine; but I had little time allowed for my conjectures, as the +same instant a very smart, dapper little gentleman presented himself, +dressed in all the extravagance of French mode. His hair, which was +permitted to curl upon his shoulders, was divided along the middle of the +head; his moustaches were slightly upturned and carefully waxed, and his +small chin-tuft or Henri-quatre most gracefully pointed; he wore three +most happily contrasting coloured waistcoats, and spurs of glittering +brass. His visit was of scarcely five minutes' duration; but was +evidently the opening of a breaching battery by the Bingham family +in all form--the object of which I could at least guess at. + +My embarrassments were not destined to end here; for scarcely had I +returned Mr. Bingham's eighth salutation at the head of the staircase, +when another individual presented himself before me. This figure was in +every respect the opposite of my last visitor. Although framed perfectly +upon the late Parisian school of dandyism, his, however, was the "ecole +militaire." Le Capitaine Eugene de Joncourt, for so he introduced +himself, was a portly personage, of about five-and-thirty or forty years +of age, with that mixture of bon hommie and ferocity in his features +which the soldiers of Napoleon's army either affected or possessed +naturally. His features, which were handsome, and the expression of +which was pleasing, were, as it seemed, perverted, by the warlike turn of +a most terrific pair of whiskers and moustaches, from their naturally +good-humoured bent; and the practised frown and quick turn of his dark +eye were evidently only the acquired advantages of his military career; +a handsome mouth, with singularly regular and good teeth, took much away +from the farouche look of the upper part of his face; and contributed, +with the aid of a most pleasing voice, to impress you in his favour; his +dress was a blue braided frock, decorated with the cordon of the legion; +but neither these, nor the clink of his long cavalry spurs, were +necessary to convince you that the man was a soldier; besides that, there +was that mixture of urbanity and aplomb in his manner which showed him to +be perfectly accustomed to the usages of the best society. + +"May I beg to know," said he, as he seated himself slowly, "if this card +contains your name and address," handing me at the same moment one of my +visiting cards. I immediately replied in the affirmative. + +"You are then in the English service?" + +"Yes." + +"Then, may I entreat your pardon for the trouble of these questions, and +explain the reason of my visit. I am the friend of Le Baron D'Haulpenne, +with whom you had the altercation last night in the Salon, and in whose +name I have come to request the address of a friend on your part." + +Ho, ho, thought I, the Baron is then the stout gentleman that I pummelled +so unmercifully near the window; but how came he by my card; and besides, +in a row of that kind, I am not aware how far the matter can be conceived +to go farther, than what happens at the moment. These were the thoughts +of a second of time, and before I could reply any thing, the captain +resumed. + +"You seem to have forgotten the circumstance, and so indeed should I like +to do; but unfortunately D'Haulpenne says that you struck him with your +walking-cane, so you know, under such a state of things, there is but one +course." + +"But gently," added I, "I had no cane whatever the last evening." + +"Oh! I beg pardon," interrupted he; "but my friend is most positive in +his account, and describes the altercation as having continued from the +Salon to the street, when you struck him, and at the same time threw him +your card. Two of our officers were also present; and although, as it +appears from your present forgetfulness, that the thing took place in the +heat and excitement of the moment, still--" + +"But still," said I, catching up his last words, "I never did strike the +gentleman as you describe--never had any altercation in the street--and--" + +"Is that your address?" said the Frenchman, with a slight bow. + +"Yes, certainly it is." + +"Why then," said he, with a slight curl of his upper lip--half smile, +half derision-- + +"Oh! make yourself perfectly easy," I replied. "If any one has by an +accident made use of my name, it shall not suffer by such a mistake. +I shall be quite at your service, the moment I can find out a friend to +refer you to." + +I had much difficulty to utter these few words with a suitable degree of +temper, so stung was I by the insolent demeanour of the Frenchman, whose +coolness and urbanity seemed only to increase every moment. + +"Then I have the honour to salute you," said he, rising with great +mildness in his voice; "and shall take the liberty to leave my card for +the information of your friend." + +So saying, he placed his card upon the table--"Le Capitaine Eugene de +Joncourt, Cuirassiers de la Garde." + +"I need not press upon Monsieur the value of despatch." + +"I shall not lose a moment," said I, as he clattered down the stairs of +the hotel, with that perfect swaggering nonchalance which a Frenchman is +always an adept in; and I returned to my room, to meditate upon my +numerous embarrassments, and think over the difficulties which every +moment was contributing to increase the number of. + +"The indictment has certainly many counts," thought I. + +Imprimis--A half-implied, but fully comprehended promise to marry a young +lady, with whom, I confess, I only intend to journey this life--as far as +Baden. + +Secondly, a charge of swindling--for such the imputation goes to--at the +Salon. + +Thirdly, another unaccountable delay in joining the Callonbys, with whom +I am every hour in the risque of being "compromis;" and lastly, a duel in +perspective with some confounded Frenchman, who is at this very moment +practising at a pistol gallery. + +Such were the heads of my reflections, and such the agreeable impressions +my visit to Paris was destined to open with; how they were to be followed +up I reserve for another chapter. + + + + +EBOOK EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +A crowd is a mob, if composed even of bishops +Involuntary satisfaction at some apparent obstacle to my path +Levelling character of a taste for play +Never able to restrain myself from a propensity to make love +Strong opinions against tobacco within doors +We pass a considerable portion of our lives in a mimic warfare +What we wish, we readily believe +Whenever he was sober his poverty disgusted him + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONFESSIONS OF LORREQUER, V4 *** + +******** This file should be named chl4w10.txt or chl4w10.zip ********* + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, chl4w11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, chl4w10a.txt + +This eBook was produced by Mary Munarin +and David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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