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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #52314 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/52314)
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-Project Gutenberg's Nooks and Corners, by J. (Jane) E. (Ellen) Panton
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Nooks and Corners
- being the companion volume to From Kitchen to Garret
-
-Author: J. (Jane) E. (Ellen) Panton
-
-Release Date: June 12, 2016 [EBook #52314]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOOKS AND CORNERS ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- NOOKS AND CORNERS
-
- PRINTED BY
- SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE
- LONDON
-
- [Illustration: A French Window]
-
-
-
-
- NOOKS AND CORNERS
-
- BEING THE COMPANION VOLUME TO
-
- ‘FROM KITCHEN TO GARRET’
-
- BY
-
- J. E. PANTON
-
- AUTHOR OF
- ‘BY-PATHS AND CROSS-ROADS’ ‘THE CURATE’S WIFE’ ‘A TANGLED CHAIN’
- ‘COUNTRY SKETCHES IN BLACK AND WHITE’
- ETC.
-
- _ILLUSTRATED_
-
- London
-
- WARD & DOWNEY
-
- 12 YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN
-
- 1889
-
- [_All rights reserved_]
-
-
-
-CONTENTS
-
-
-CHAPTER PAGE
-
-I. MOVING HOUSE 1
-
-II. HALLS AND PASSAGES 23
-
-III. NOOKS AND CORNERS 48
-
-IV. THE BILLIARD-ROOM AND LIBRARY 84
-
-V. SHALL WE DO AWAY WITH THE NURSERY? 99
-
-VI. THE GIRLS’ ROOM 113
-
-VII. COMING-OUT AND DRESS 133
-
-VIII. CHRISTENINGS AND WEDDINGS 153
-
-IX. ABOUT THE BOYS 172
-
-X. SOME DOMESTIC DETAILS 190
-
-XI. THE SICK ROOM 209
-
-XII. WHERE SHALL WE GO FOR A CHANGE? 227
-
-
-
-
-ILLUSTRATIONS
-
-
-A FRENCH WINDOW _Frontispiece_
-
-FIGS. PAGE
-
-1. HALL ARRANGEMENT 25
-
-2. OAK BUFFET 28
-
-3. STAIRCASE WINDOW 40
-
-4. A LONDON LANDING 41
-
-5, 6. HALL WARDROBES 44, 45
-
-7. A SUMMER CORNER 53
-
-8. A WINTER CORNER 60
-
-9. ARCHES FOR A DOUBLE ROOM 63
-
-10. SIMPLE MANTEL DRAPING 66
-
-11. A RECESS 69
-
-12. A DRAPED PIANO 72
-
-13. CONSERVATORY DOOR 74
-
-14. FRILLED CHAIRS AND SOFA 81
-
-15. AN EMPTY NURSERY 103
-
-16. BOUDOIR-BEDROOM 121
-
-17. AN IDEAL KITCHEN 205
-
-
-
-
-NOOKS AND CORNERS.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-MOVING HOUSE.
-
-
-I have been asked by a great many readers of ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ to
-produce another book on the ever fascinating subject of household
-management and house decoration; and I have been furthermore requested
-to consider Edwin and Angelina from another standpoint, and to regard
-them as having increased their borders in more ways than one, and,
-having become richer and at the same time more numerous, as now
-beginning to move from their small house, furnished so joyfully and
-hopefully in the early flush of their married happiness, to one larger
-in every way, and more suited to their present income and growing
-family.
-
-I confess that I begin my task with just a little diffidence, and a
-little misgiving, too, and feel just a wee bit as sad over the beginning
-of this little volume as I know my young couples must feel when, no
-longer quite as young as they were, they turn their backs on that dear
-little first home, and take up their abode in the newer, far more
-convenient habitation, welcomed so joyfully by the children, who declare
-that now, and now only, they will have room in which to breathe!
-
-For, successful as ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ is, and many as are the
-friends I have made through its pages, I am rather doubtful about
-another book on the same lines; still, I can but do my best, and so,
-without any more forewords on the matter, I will at once plunge into my
-subject, and will trust that all those who have made their little houses
-pretty by either following or improving on the hints given in my first
-book will not disdain to follow me once more into those Nooks and
-Corners of house-furnishing and house-keeping, which were deemed too
-ambitious for my young couple, or were forgotten in the first essay on
-the subject.
-
-Besides which, as life goes on, I am thankful to say that decoration
-becomes more and more a fine art.
-
-Formerly people rather scorned the idea of being ‘house-proud’ in the
-same manner in which all are nowadays. Their house-pride was merely
-expressed in the amount of gilding compressed into a single room; in the
-thickness of their carpets, the heaviness of their draperies, and the
-general costliness of the plenishing, and the amount of money these
-things had cost was far more often spoken of than anything else; while
-the name of the upholsterer was mentioned, not as a guarantee that taste
-and skill had been called into action, but as a proof that money in this
-case had not been an object. Formerly, did I say? Alas! cases still
-exist of this heavy and depressing style of thing! Money is poured out
-like water on carpets that are nightmares, and on papers that are as
-absolutely meaningless as they are ugly, and the despair of anyone who
-is called in, as I am constantly, to mitigate the horrors of some
-gigantic monument of bad taste and lavish expenditure.
-
-And then, too, people are still, as a rule, far too timid, and act far
-too much in a hurry; they believe far too much in the upholsterer, and
-far too little in themselves; and above all they cannot get out of the
-terrible English habit, carried through every single department in life,
-of buying a thing because they admire it, and not because it suits what
-they already possess, thus marring at every step their chances of having
-a home which is always a pleasure to inhabit, and a restful refuge from
-the cares and toils of life.
-
-But it is to assist the timid and those who lack confidence in their own
-tastes, and furthermore who may live in distant country places, where
-nothing new penetrates even in these days of parcel-posts and
-illustrated newspapers, that I am writing this book, and wrote ‘From
-Kitchen to Garret,’ and therefore I must not scold but rather encourage
-those who would add to the beauty of their surroundings, but do not
-quite know how to set about it: and I am most anxious that there may
-soon be no house anywhere in England that may not have some claim to be
-considered beautiful or interesting or pretty; for indeed there is no
-reason why the humblest among us may not have a charming home, as
-certainly, if he or she have taste, money nowadays is not a barrier
-between beauty and the public at large. Therefore when any among my
-readers makes up her mind that it is absolutely necessary that a move
-should be made, the first piece of advice I would give her is that she
-should determine on her future locality, if not on the abode itself,
-before she is driven from her first house by the lapsing of a lease or
-the necessity of deciding immediately because a tenant is forthcoming
-for house number one; for if not, she may find herself forced into an
-uncongenial neighbourhood or into a house that has every unpleasant
-quality under the sun. Above all she must be prepared for a certain
-amount of acute misery, mental, at any rate, if not physical, for there
-is something about one’s first married home that one can never really
-replace, and that renders our fitting into our new locality only a
-little less torturing than inhabiting a new skin would be, were we
-suddenly forced into one.
-
-Personally I am not one bit sentimental; I never cried over a faded
-flower, or lay awake weeping bitter tears over an unhappy love-affair: I
-never had one, I am thankful to say. Neither have I hoarded first shoes,
-snippings of baby curls, nor indeed anything save my wedding-dress,
-which is a most valuable ‘property’ for characters and private
-theatricals of all kinds; and therefore I am considered absolutely
-lacking in ‘fine feelings,’ and unhampered by ‘nonsense’; but I have
-never yet become reconciled to the moves we have had to make after our
-first twelve years of married life, and I much doubt now if I ever
-shall; I certainly shall not until I make move number three, and what is
-perhaps the most curious point in the whole business is that I did not
-like the house, nor the town, nor indeed anything much about it, and
-yet I can never see certain looks in the sky, scent certain odours,
-without being transported to dear dull Dorsetshire, and without longing
-in a curious home-sick way for the marvellously lovely range of the
-Purbeck hills, which haunts me like a dream, and for which I am
-convinced I should positively pine, had I the smallest touch of
-sentiment in my composition.
-
-The house itself was most wretchedly inconvenient, the furniture of over
-twenty years ago--aye, and some of it over fifty years ago--does not
-bear thinking about in these æsthetic days. I endured dullness such as
-only a London girl, plunged suddenly into an atmosphere she could not
-comprehend, much less assimilate, could experience: we had three years
-of unspeakable worries; and yet, with it all--with its hideous rooms and
-its cold and ugly passages, its out-of-the-worldness, and its unpleasant
-associations--there is something about it that no other house can ever
-hold, and that causes me often and often to dream I am there again, or
-that makes me hear sometimes on a quiet night the old sound of the
-sudden clash of the china closet door, the opening of the door at the
-top of the kitchen stairs--which, I believe, has been taken away now by
-desecrating hands, and which had a sound all its own--or that causes me
-to wake suddenly from sleep to wonder at the late return of phantom
-waggons and ghostly horses over stones that are hundreds of miles away
-from our present uncongenial abode, and which caused sounds inseparable
-from thoughts of those dear dead days--days I would have back this
-moment if I could, if only to live them over once more in a manner a
-thousand times better than an inexperienced girl could ever do, and use
-then the experience one buys at such an enormous cost because one will
-not listen to words of wisdom from those who have lived so very much
-longer in the world than we had then, and which is useless now, because
-one sees all too late what one might have done for others.
-
-These experiences and reminiscences of mine may seem out of place here,
-but they really are not. I shall in this book, as in my last, speak only
-of what I have experienced; and I am so convinced that when house-moving
-is done heartbreak must ensue that I dwell upon this aspect of the case
-in order that the first house may not be left capriciously, but only
-because it is absolutely necessary to go elsewhere.
-
-I have always felt myself, unsentimental creature though I am, that a
-house absorbs some of one’s own personality: that the very walls we warm
-with our breathing, living selves, and among which we spend our lives,
-and allow ourselves to be ourselves without any company veneer, must in
-some measure become impregnated by our vitality. You may, for example,
-re-paper and re-furnish your room, but in a very short time that room
-looks exactly like you once more, and becomes again in a week or two--a
-month, at most--part and parcel of your own individuality. But leave
-your house, and, if you can muster sufficient courage to do so, go and
-call on the next inhabitant, and you will see in one moment what I mean.
-The very room is altered. Your successors may have kept your
-decorations, taken off your ‘fixtures,’ and gone on the very same lines
-as regards furnishing and arrangement as you did, but it will not look
-in the very least like you, and you will not believe you are in the same
-room in which you have spent so many happy and unhappy hours. At first,
-therefore, in any new house you have not only to adapt yourself and your
-furniture to it, but you have by your individuality to imprint yourself
-on the very fabric itself.
-
-The last owner’s individuality fades at once; I have seen few empty
-houses that do not look precisely like something dead: the body is
-there, but the spirit is absent. And there is a blank awful chill about
-such a house that penetrates one’s very soul and depresses one in an
-extraordinary way; but it takes some time to reanimate the body, and,
-indeed, in an unloved atmosphere I question if it is ever done. Some
-folk the house won’t have at any price, and there are one or two places
-I wot of that are blank still, because uncongenial people have them and
-are incapable of living up to them properly; they put just the wrong
-draperies in the windows, wrench the doors round into the wrong places,
-and finally have hung the very worst colours on the walls, and, indeed,
-have treated it in such an inconsiderate way that it never responds, and
-remains silent, angular, unsatisfied, dead, as long as those people
-remain within its shelter.
-
-Angelina, when she really must move therefore, must remember to think
-over all these details.
-
-I envy everyone myself who has a really inherited house--a house which
-has absorbed the family atmosphere for centuries, that has never been
-passed from hand to hand and from family to family until it has no
-recollection of who built it or what it was built for; a house for which
-it is an intense and real pleasure to plan improvements, to deck as one
-would deck a child of one’s own, knowing that what we spent on it or did
-for it would benefit and please not only ourselves but those who are to
-come after us. Yes; hopeless Radical as I am in everything else, I am
-Conservative indeed in the house I would have if I could; but in these
-days of progress, when most people grow rich, and many only use their
-dwelling-place as a shelter, and don’t think of it as a home, I am
-constantly being pained to see retired city men and lawyers--the two
-classes which become really wealthy, taking over the delightful places
-which once owned ‘county families,’ and ruining the society round with
-their ostentation and the ridiculous airs only found in suburban places
-where ‘society’ so-called consists of ‘twopence three-farthings looking
-down on twopence,’ while the poor houses themselves are ruined too by
-utterly inappropriate furnishing and by decorations suitable only for an
-ordinary ‘mansion,’ furnished by giving _carte blanche_ to some
-enterprising and advertising tradesman.
-
-Should Angelina have made her first home in the family dwelling-place,
-she will never have to learn what moving house really means. She can
-allow her roots to sink as deeply as she likes into the kindly soil, and
-she can make it all as charming as she will, because she will know that
-all she does will only benefit her own; but as there are indeed few
-nowadays who can contemplate this (for even the absorbers of the old
-places round London never think of the generation behind them, and often
-and often cut up the land for eligible building sites, with as little
-compunction as one cuts up a cake at a school-feast: only taking care it
-shall go as far as it can), we need not dwell on this aspect of the
-case, but on the one that should be the motive of this chapter, namely,
-moving house.
-
-If you are tolerably happy in the neighbourhood you know, pray take my
-advice and remain there; there are sure to be discomforts of some kind
-or other in any locality. I have never yet come across anyone who was
-perfectly satisfied with his or her belongings; certainly I have never
-met anyone who had not bitter complaint to make about the special
-locality he or she inhabited, and yet who did not ruffle up their
-feathers the moment any stranger found fault with it. But a
-neighbourhood is like a house, and requires locally knowing; and if we
-are for ever changing our neighbourhood, we can never feel at home
-anywhere.
-
-No doubt it is an unfashionable idea nowadays, this clinging to one
-place; but I think, if more consideration were given to the subject,
-life would be much better than it is at present, for far more good can
-be done by those who are able to help their poorer neighbours, should
-they remain year after year in the same place; for they are thus enabled
-to know them thoroughly, to sift the deserving from the hopeless, and
-finally to interest themselves in such a way in the real life around
-them that the place in which fate has placed them is in some measure
-better for their having made their home there. And this cannot be done
-satisfactorily by mere birds of passage, who have no ‘vested interests’
-in the place, and are ready to be off at a minute’s notice, just because
-they think a change would be nice.
-
-And once having made up your minds that a change of house is imperative,
-I advise you to ponder seriously and at great length over the pros and
-cons of a residence in the same neighbourhood, before finally
-determining to plant your roots elsewhere. I think what makes a
-residence in the suburbs almost unendurable is this mania for change,
-for we no sooner begin to know people there and like them than we find
-they are becoming uneasy; they fancy the place is unhealthy, someone has
-been rude, the nicest people have not called--as if the nicest people
-ever did rush to call without introductions of some sort or other--and
-they are off impatiently before they have entered into the life of a
-place they condemn ruthlessly because they do not really know what it is
-like.
-
-How long does it take to know a place? Well, if you are lucky enough to
-go there with really good introductions, I should think six months; if
-you know no one, and are dependent on chance, or the vicar of the
-parish, you may never know it at all; but, in ordinary cases, and where
-people have had their edges clipped by really good society, you ought to
-know quite as many people as you wish to in about three years.
-
-Therefore, if you have begun your residence in the suburbs, and have a
-nice church, a nice doctor, and nice friends, stay there; you don’t know
-how deeply your roots are planted until you begin to drag them up. If
-you are a Londoner, on no account be persuaded by artistic accounts of
-country delights to leave your beloved pavements and the exquisite
-freedom of a town life and surroundings: and if you are born and have
-lived among cabbages and roses--if you love the country, and can
-interest yourself mildly in the continual changes that are going on
-around you in your neighbours’ houses and the cottages round
-about--remain there; and be thankful for tastes which are innocent if
-they are circumscribed, and often result in a far nobler life than that
-made up mostly from excitement and dissipation; because anyone who can
-and will live cheerfully in the country, making work for the labourer,
-and employing folk in pure air, and in decent habitations, does much
-more for the human race than he wots of, and should be encouraged to do
-so in any manner that one possibly can.
-
-I am often being told that the country is a far cheaper place to live in
-than London; but I have tried both, and I know better. In the first
-place, in London you can do precisely what you like, and, provided your
-likes are not openly eccentric, no one will interfere with you. You can
-have ten friends or ten thousand acquaintances. You may wear one dress
-as long as it will hold together, and no one will doubt your
-capabilities of being respectable because of your shabby attire. You may
-get up when you like, go to bed when you like, need not give to any
-charity if you are not charitably disposed, need not keep a carriage,
-because you can at any moment hail any vehicle, and go anywhere you
-like; and, above all, can be so easily amused, and at so cheap a rate,
-that one need hardly put down ‘amusements’ in our schedule at all.
-
-Now in the country we must have some sort of a carriage if we wish to
-get outside our own immediate neighbourhood and mix with our
-fellow-creatures; from the humble ‘four-wheel’ of the farmer’s wife,
-and the curate’s donkey-cart, to the landau, waggonette, or smart little
-victoria of the other richer folk: all must have some other means of
-progression than would be afforded by one’s own legs. Our incomes are
-common property, and, should we have two new dresses in the course of
-the year, are a prey for all those dear creatures who spend their time
-in being charitable on other folk’s money. We must have a garden, and we
-obtain a scant supply of worm-eaten fruit, inferior flowers, and
-out-of-season vegetables, at a price for which we could have obtained
-the very best stores of Covent Garden--for by out-of-season I don’t mean
-that our pears and asparagus come before their time, but considerably
-after the period when they have become cheap in the market in London;
-and, finally, we cannot be amused without half ruining ourselves by
-constant rushes to town, by subscribing largely to Mudie, and by taking
-in every newspaper we can lay our hands on if we are readers, and if we
-are fond of finery, by sending for constant new garments, not because we
-want them, but because we really want to see what is being worn. Of
-course rates, rents, and taxes are much less in the country; but rent in
-London is less than it used to be, and in unfashionable neighbourhoods
-is not too exorbitant; but even with the rent considered, I still
-maintain one can live more cheaply in London than elsewhere, and can
-most certainly live longer there and far more pleasantly.
-
-So I do most strongly advise country mice to remain country mice, unless
-they make the change very young; and I implore town mice to cling to
-their pavements, for nothing short of a residence for generations in the
-country can teach one how to live under the microscope which is put over
-one the moment a stranger goes into the country to live, and nothing
-save being born to it could ever reconcile one to having one’s most
-intimate personal concerns discussed at the bar of every public house,
-over every shop counter, in every parlour, as they are discussed in an
-ordinary rural place, or to having one’s most innocent speeches repeated
-until one would certainly not recognise them, did they return to us
-after their last repetition.
-
-I declare that twenty years of residence in and about the country have
-never reconciled me to all this, or caused me to take the profound
-interest in my turn in my neighbours, in the way that aborigines do to
-reconcile and repay themselves for their own sojourn under the
-microscope, and which a country born and bred individual takes as
-naturally as he does his absence from the theatres, and his utter lack
-of interest on any other topic than the ever-absorbing one of ‘who is
-going to marry whom,’ or who is not, and what the curate’s last baby was
-called, and why that special name was selected; and, therefore, I never
-lose an opportunity of warning the ducks to remain in the pond, and the
-hens in the farmyard where they were hatched, for I am quite sure my
-experience is not a solitary one by any means, and has often been the
-fate of those who went into the country because no one warned them that
-the delights thereof were mere snares and delusions, and who would give
-anything to return, only they cannot afford another move.
-
-And I have no doubt that the country mice are as miserable in the town
-in their turn: they miss the intimate conversations, the familiarity of
-their friendships; they pine for fresh air, and weep over ‘smuts;’ the
-noise and bustle we love so dearly bewilders and distresses them; they
-object to putting on gloves and a bonnet whenever they go out, resent
-being unable to ‘run in’ at any moment to their acquaintances, dread the
-streets, see disease lurking at every corner, in every glass of milk, in
-each vestment fresh from the laundress, and, pining away, become pale,
-ill, and wretched, and put it down to London, when really the misery
-lies entirely in themselves.
-
-Have I said enough to show my readers that when they are contemplating a
-move they should do their utmost to remain in the same neighbourhood, or
-at all events in one with the main workings of which they are in a
-measure familiar? I think so; and if at the same time I tell them to
-remember the church where their children were christened, the doctor who
-helped them over so many hours of pain and trouble, and finally the
-friends they made--and old friends should never be given up on any
-account whatever--I believe they will see that a change even for the
-better has always its trials, and that a great many things should be
-considered before up-rooting takes place, and a family is landed in an
-entirely new locality, that, be it as nice as it may be, has its own
-interests, in which the new-comer has neither part nor parcel, and its
-unwritten laws and small rules of etiquette, which are as rigid as they
-are incomprehensible to an outsider.
-
-I think in every neighbourhood there should be also some agent to send
-out lists of all the pros and cons, the ins and outs of a neighbourhood,
-which should show you at once the number and styles of the different
-churches, the state of society (it could be ‘young,’ ‘army,’ ‘lawyers,’
-or anything almost), the schools, the advantages and disadvantages, and,
-in fact, all the particulars one wants to know. They should truthfully
-and in confidence give one all the required information, and then one
-would not run the risk of making mistakes. But as this seems impossible,
-a residence for a short time in a furnished house (one’s own house could
-in turn be let to some one who wants to investigate our neighbourhood)
-should be indulged in. A very few weeks would inform us of all we want
-to know; for even if we did not become acquainted with one soul
-personally, we should have looked at the people and taken stock of their
-windows, from which I think one can always learn so much, and can
-quietly make our own inquiries about schools, churches, and the rest of
-the vital points of interest about a new residence, and come as quietly
-to the conclusion as to whether the neighbourhood will suit us or not,
-before going to the expense of moving and decorating to suit ourselves
-and our belongings--an expense which once incurred often binds us hard
-and fast to a place from which we would give our ears to remove.
-
-Then comes the question of the house. This should be large enough to
-take all the family and allow for any possible additions; but at the
-same time Angelina will have to remember that when the boys are at
-school there will always be a room for a friend, and therefore the
-question of spare rooms is not such a vital one as it was. She will also
-have to legislate for the girls’ own room--probably a room for a
-governess, though a resident governess should be avoided unless the
-house is a good size, and unless she is an absolute necessity. There is
-the schoolroom to think of, and she must contemplate--perhaps
-ruefully--the nurseries, with an eye to adapting them to another
-purpose, when that saddest of all days comes when we cannot deceive
-ourselves into believing a nursery is any longer necessary, and we have
-to turn our backs on our youth and the dear small child-inhabitants at
-the same time. A house without a nursery is never as joyous or lively as
-one that possesses such a room, and it’s no use trying to believe this
-to be the case. Still it is equally of no use to set apart the best room
-in the house for that most pleasant of all chambers, if there is no
-chance of nursery children, and if all are merged into the young
-gentlemen and ladies, who are fast growing up and eagerly longing to
-launch their boats on the sea of life for a cruise of their own.
-
-When the house is positively and actually selected and the move
-imminent, when the lease is signed and the decorations are in train, the
-first step to take is to get several estimates from firms who are
-accustomed to do nothing else save move furniture. In nothing does price
-fluctuate so much as it does in these estimates, and when we moved from
-Dorsetshire to Shortlands there was actually and positively a difference
-of 100_l._ in the highest and lowest of the many estimates we had, the
-person selected being just 100_l._ lower in his price than the man who
-made us our first offer.
-
-To move luxuriously we should have taken house number two for a quarter
-before we are obliged to leave our own. Of course if we could persuade
-the landlord to let us have it for six weeks it would be better; but not
-many landlords are as accommodating as this, and unfortunately many of
-us cannot afford a double rent even for such a short space of time.
-Still an effort should be made, as undoubtedly much is wasted in a
-hurried move--in an enforced turning out on quarter day into another
-house on the same date.
-
-It is only people in very straitened circumstances who accept in these
-artistic days of ours the landlord’s scheme of decoration. Formerly
-there were no ideas in the head of an ordinary paterfamilias on the
-subject of paint and paper, and as long as all was clean and in good
-condition he did not agitate himself in the least about his surroundings
-as far as mere colour and ‘decoration’ were concerned, and he cheerfully
-spread his Turkey carpet and placed his heavy sideboard and mahogany
-table and chairs in position, regardless of the fact that the ‘good’
-flock paper and vulgar graining made up a _tout ensemble_ as utterly
-depressing as it was tasteless and absolutely without character.
-
-But now, I am glad to think, what is already in one’s possession governs
-in some measure what alterations are to be made, and as fate never yet
-was so propitious as to put one down straight from one house into
-another which was exactly decorated to our taste, we may be quite sure
-that there are many things to do to any place to which we may
-contemplate moving; therefore I say if possible let the two leases,
-_i.e._ of your present and your future house, run side by side for six
-weeks at least: so shall you move comfortably, and be able to make those
-alterations that are perfectly sure to be necessary.
-
-A new house should never by any chance be entered in the September
-quarter; it is astonishing what an amount of coal and reckless
-expenditure of gas is required to obtain even moderate warmth in a new
-house; and furthermore most appalling discoveries are apt to be made, as
-soon as the fires are lighted, of the manner in which floors, doors, and
-window-frames are capable of shrinking the moment warmth penetrates the
-place; these we can circumvent in summer, but the winter is not a time
-to run any risks of discovering that the more we try to warm the house
-the wider open gape the cracks in all the woodwork, and that nothing we
-can do will really warm a place, more and more exposed as days go by to
-the four winds of heaven. Therefore, if the future house has never been
-lived in, enter it in June, or even in March; there will then be ample
-time to find out all faults in the structure before the winter arrives
-with all its concomitant miseries.
-
-Delightful Mr. Aspinall, for whose existence I can never be sufficiently
-thankful, has made house decoration mere child’s play compared to what
-it used to be; and, armed with his paints and a written description of
-what each room is to be like when done, the foreman can be left to his
-own devices, and the old house can be returned to with a safe
-conscience; for if careful selection has been made of each paper and its
-own particular paint, no risks are run of finding, as I found when I
-made my last move, that owing to the peculiar freaks of the painter
-there were seven shades of blue in my hall, and another separate shade
-of the same colour in a bed-room that was designed for a gem, and was
-becoming under the wretch’s brush the exact shade of a butcher’s apron,
-which was his own idea of a complete match to the ‘Berry’ paper--really
-a good hedge-sparrow egg blue-green! If only he had had Aspinall’s neat
-little tins, I should not have had to stand over him all the time he
-mixed his paint, and most of the time he was applying it, and could not
-see at the last that he was wrong and I was absolutely right. So if
-those about to move will leave their decorators instructions to use
-Aspinall and nothing else, they can be absolutely sure that their paint
-will be right, and not a perpetual eyesore, as it almost invariably is
-when left to the tender mercies of the ordinary decorator, who considers
-he has an eye for colour, and is as obstinate as half-educated people
-invariably are.
-
-Briefly, then, the first thing we have to do when we contemplate moving
-is to really make up our minds that such a step is absolutely necessary,
-because no one who has never moved can understand the mental misery
-caused by tearing up one’s roots even from an uncongenial soil;
-secondly, to carefully select a house likely to be our home for the rest
-of our lives; thirdly, to still more carefully choose and put in train a
-scheme of decoration that will harmonise in some measure with our
-cherished possessions; and fourthly, to endeavour not to be forced at
-the last to move hurriedly or into a new house in the winter. Once these
-details are remembered and enforced, the real process of moving may
-begin, and be got over as soon as the new house is ready for the
-inmates.
-
-The mere move itself should be left entirely in the hands of the people
-employed. Personally, I recommend for any one in the suburbs Bachelar,
-of Croydon, who moved our furniture most successfully in the south of
-England. Peace, of Bridgewater and Bournemouth, is equally to be
-commended. Unfortunately, I know no one in the north, but I have no
-doubt there are many firms there; but in any case all should be written
-to, and estimates should be carefully considered before definitely
-selecting any one from among their number; but all one’s belongings
-should be in covered furniture vans: open vans or railway trucks are
-ruination, and should never for one moment be used; and no estimate
-which includes moving any of the ‘goods and chattels’ in open trucks
-should be considered seriously, as even the roughest furniture suffers
-considerably by being carted about in this primitive manner, and is
-spoiled to a far greater extent than the mere difference between the two
-kinds of conveyances would pay for.
-
-The books and pictures should be packed first, and unpacked last; the
-carpets should be rolled up, after a good shaking, with camphor-bags
-inside, even for the shortest transit; the straw, &c., used in packing
-them in the most carefully supervised vans having been proved a most
-comfortable home for small and teasing animals, which, discovering that
-carpets, pillows, and beds are warmer and more comfortable on the whole
-than straw, forsake their habitations for eligible residences among our
-properties if we have not made them unbearable with camphor and a good
-sprinkling of Keating’s insect powder before they leave our hands. Each
-room-full of furniture should be placed ready to be again put down in
-the special room for which it is intended. The carpets should remain
-rolled until the last of the movers is departed; then after the floors
-have been most thoroughly scrubbed with carbolic soap, the carpets
-should be well beaten, and should be relaid if possible by the hands of
-some ‘professional,’ for on the proper laying of a carpet depends far
-more of the wear than we quite realise. The best furniture mover cannot
-resist--please remember this!--the exquisite temptation to which he is
-exposed to stuff up odd corners, and to prevent shaking by making
-‘buffers’ out of our pillows, cushions, and odds and ends generally; and
-as he furthermore has most excellent wrapping material in blankets,
-small rugs, and other similar trifles, the amateur must come to the
-rescue of her goods, or the professional packer will be much too strong
-for her.
-
-In really well-organised and well-managed households each bed pillow and
-mattress should have its loose and washable cover sewn tightly over it
-of whitey-brown crash; these covers should be washed every year--if
-possible, every six months, and if these are arranged for they will in a
-great measure protect our property from the dirt and certain amount of
-almost indispensable damage, which would accrue to them were they left
-to the tender mercies of the remover, who would at once use them as
-mentioned above, and would not disdain to walk upon them cheerfully,
-did they seem to require more pressing down than a mere arrangement with
-the hands would effect; but if they are not so defended before the move
-is actually in progress, these covers should be made, or else great
-sheets of coarse crash, such as is used for packing purposes, should be
-strongly sewn round them, or inevitably we shall have to send all the
-bedding to the upholsterers to be ‘re-done’--_i.e._ picked over and
-readjusted, and the ticks washed also. The blankets must be even more
-carefully protected. I have seen them wrapped round iron bedsteads, and
-large mirrors, and with boots and even knives inside their folds, and in
-any case they are ruthlessly annexed for packing purposes. Now to
-circumvent this I strongly advise that space should be left at the top
-of the box of each person inhabiting each separate room, and into this
-space the folded blankets should go, to be ready for use at once, and to
-be out of the way of the ‘ravagers.’ The clothes that should have
-occupied the space in the box can be most safely left in the chests of
-drawers and wardrobes, for ‘personal property’ of all kinds is
-invariably respected, and not the most ruthless of packers would dream
-of enfolding grimy objects in body linen or even among the folds of
-heavy winter dresses. These are invariably left exactly as one last
-placed them, and are emphatically respected, while even new blankets
-appear to have an irresistible attraction for them, and are annexed at
-once, while venerable ones suffer in the most appalling way conceivable.
-
-It is absolutely impossible to move in anything like comfort or peace
-unless the juvenile members of the family and their nurses are ‘boarded
-out.’
-
-It is astonishing how very kind people are to each other when this
-trying work is proceeding, and there are few among us, if indeed there
-are any, who are not possessed of relatives, or at least dear friends,
-who will stretch their houses to the extent of taking in some of the
-children for the inside of a week; but if there are none on whom we can
-rely, the children should be sent to an hotel, or lodgings should be
-taken for them for a week; for if this is not done we should be quite
-sure to be driven mad by them, by the utter helplessness of their
-nurses, and by the certainty that we should have them all ill from the
-draughts, the scrappy meals, the uncertain hours, and the thousand and
-one absolutely unpreventable events that are familiar to every mother,
-and therefore need not be detailed here.
-
-Let us suppose, therefore, that our move is to commence on a Tuesday, an
-excellent day, which leaves Monday for our private packings, for the men
-to pack the books, china, and ornaments (the number of my possessions in
-these several ways always eliciting most amusing comments), and for us
-to clear out the children and nurses; these latter, by the way, should
-have carefully packed all the children’s things the week before in boxes
-marked ‘Nursery’ in large chalk letters, and should take with them to
-their lodgings only what is absolutely necessary. We will then proceed
-up-stairs, put all the blankets away as suggested just now, see our
-garments are so bestowed that they are safe, the silver and jewellery in
-the charge of the man-servant if there be one, in the charge of the
-parlour-maid if there be none, and then we should see placards are up in
-each room, inscribed with the name of the room into which the things are
-to go; and our task at the other end will be much simplified if we also
-attach labels to each very heavy piece of furniture, taking care similar
-labels are already placed in a prominent position in the rooms they are
-intended for.
-
-The packing of a big house takes about two days, and on the evening of
-the first day two of the servants and one of the household, the eldest
-daughter if possible, should go on to the new house; if, however, there
-is a long journey before them they should start almost as soon as the
-vans come, as the first will arrive Wednesday morning at the new abode,
-and someone should be there to receive it. The mistress and master
-should remain until Wednesday night, when they too should go on to the
-new abode, travelling by night if necessary, and the oldest and
-trustworthiest servant should be left to see the house is cleaned down
-by a couple of charwomen, and to hand the keys to a representative of
-the landlord, who should go over the house with an agent on the side of
-the remover to see all was left properly and undamaged by the out-going
-tenant; then the maid or man could rest at a friend’s house or at the
-local inn, and join the rest of the party on Thursday morning.
-
-It is absolutely necessary that a separate hamper of food ready cooked
-and sufficient to supply the household for three days should be sent on
-with the first batch of domestics, and the hamper should contain kettle,
-cups and saucers, plates, and knives and forks, besides the actual food.
-The cook will not be able to be spared from putting her belongings in
-order to cook eatables, but an ample supply is necessary; for, as all
-will be working hard, all will require sustenance. This hamper should be
-at once put into the larder in the new house, the door locked, and the
-key kept by the servant herself.
-
-The contents of the servants’ bedrooms, the kitchen, and one
-sitting-room, and, if possible, one bedroom besides, should be
-despatched first, and as each article is brought in someone should seat
-herself on a camp-stool in the hall and should call out ‘Dining-room,’
-‘Servants’ bedroom,’ ‘Blue room,’ or otherwise name its destination; so
-will the movers avoid the pleasing sight, that met my eyes when I moved
-last, of the complete contents of three rooms placed higgledy-piggledy
-in the centre of one chamber, heaped up like ‘leaves in Vallombrosa,’
-where the wretched painters were dawdling over their work still; the
-painters who had caused this chaos by insisting that none of the other
-rooms were ready, though none were as absolutely unfinished as that in
-which they had arranged this pleasing reception for me.
-
-Thank goodness, my rage was so extreme that I turned them out neck and
-crop, else, verily, I believe they would be here at this very moment;
-but I always determined to use my own sufferings as a warning to others,
-and I relate this experience in the hope that no one will attempt a move
-until the painters are out, and unless they will manage it on the lines
-here laid down for them.
-
-The men who move are always supposed to lay carpets, hang pictures and
-curtains, and replace the books in cases. Whenever money is a very great
-object--and, in that case, no move should be contemplated unless it were
-a matter of health or the bread-winner’s change of employment--I
-strongly advise that they should do nothing of the kind.
-
-In the first place, the carpets should not be placed until the last man
-has departed; and in the second, it is infinitely better to have not
-only a regular carpet-layer, but a man accustomed to hang pictures and
-arrange brackets, mirrors, &c. I personally have a great many pictures
-and odds and ends, and I have twice had a most excellent man from
-Shoolbred’s on these occasions, who came properly provided with nails,
-copper-wire, and all necessary tools, and who, for a little under 3_l._,
-quietly, swiftly, and skilfully placed the pictures, &c., in their
-places, with just a very little supervision from me; for, like all those
-who have no regular art education, he had the usual mania for hanging
-everything ever so much higher than it ought to be--a mania I most
-successfully and promptly combated! But beyond this, and giving him a
-few directions as to the placing of the pictures in due order, I left
-matters to him; and in three days--for, like an angel, he remained his
-Saturday half-holiday at my urgent request--all the walls were decorated
-and finished properly, which they could not have been in double the time
-had I been forced to rely on the help of those in the house.
-
-The china and books should be the last things arranged, and this cannot
-be completed, I fear, in the week; but, thanks to my plan of short
-curtains and no blinds, any window can be arranged in exactly ten
-minutes. For, of course, the slight brass rods should be in place before
-the move begins; and the carpets being square are laid in about half an
-hour each, the carpet-layer going swiftly from room to room, and the
-maids replacing the furniture, with the help of a man, as he leaves the
-room; and as once curtains are up and carpets down the worst of the
-battle is over, we may, perhaps, even arrange the china and books before
-Sunday, and so spend in truth a real day of rest.
-
-I have all the decorative china arranged on a tiny folding-table we call
-a choir-table, because it is brought into use for choir teas and other
-similar festivities, and from this are picked out quickly and easily the
-distinctive pieces devoted to each room: the book-shelves are up, and
-then the books, being packed in something like order, are arranged, and,
-in consequence, carefully done. A move need never take more than ten
-days; and it would be simply indefensible were not the house absolutely
-and completely straight in a fortnight; and, above all, let the
-servants’ apartments and the nurseries be put in order first. Servants,
-as a rule, are far less able, both by temperament and education, than
-we are, to bear being ‘put out of their ways,’ and being over-worked and
-over-tired resent, as no really trained and well-disciplined nature
-resents, the small discomforts that we know will soon be entirely
-forgotten, but that are apt at the time to cause friction, and, if not
-properly legislated for, may even lose us a good and valuable servant.
-
-And, inasmuch as we have had an education and advantages, and inherit in
-some cases the disciplined nature of forefathers and mothers equally
-disciplined and educated, we must show that we have profited by these
-said advantages at such times as these; and whereas we know that our
-maids have had none, we should consider them, and look after them much
-as we should after children, being quite sure we shall be rewarded after
-our struggles by cheerful faces and willing arms, that are twice as
-cheerful and willing as they would be did we not remember to tell them
-how tired they must be, and to see they have extra food, and a small
-amount of coddling even, to carry them over the present stress of work.
-
-The children should not return until one sees their rooms are dry and
-warm and straight. This, like all the rest of the move, must be done by
-organisation, and the rooms could be properly ready by Saturday night;
-but each maid must be told off to the different rooms, and the mistress
-and her daughter (and I do hope, for her sake, she may have that most
-invaluable of all possessions--a grown-up daughter) must never relax
-their supervision, else sundry gigglings and rompings about will hinder
-work, and denote that, like most young feminine creatures, the maids are
-disorganised by the presence of the opposite sex, and are endeavouring
-to combine amusement and work in a most unsatisfactory and impossible
-manner.
-
-The master of the house, poor creature! will confine his energies in
-most cases to paying for the move, or, if he be very exemplary, after
-arranging the wine-cellar he will see to the books and help with the
-pictures. I have even heard rumours of men who are most useful and
-helpful at similar crises; but as I have never yet found any male rise
-above the discomfort sufficiently to be of real use in the matter, I
-must put down this as a mere rumour, only hoping that it may be true. He
-is, however, invaluable when it comes to managing the men who come to
-move, and should be considered angelic if he does not grumble over his
-scrappy dinner, or resent the fact that, unless he can go to an hotel,
-he is not likely to have any decent meals for at least three days--a
-fact a woman rather enjoys than deplores, as she recognises that for
-those three days at least there are no orders to give and no regular
-planning of food to be done.
-
-The first few days in a new house are replete with misery. On the
-commencement of our tenancy we are literally besieged by the tradesmen
-coming to endeavour to secure our custom; but we should be wise if from
-some friend we were to obtain a list of those who are really reliable,
-until we are able to send round to the butchers, and obtain lists of
-prices from all for comparison, and have time to discover which of the
-local grocers will serve us at co-operative prices for ready money. But
-under no circumstances do I advise allowing a grocer’s man to call for
-orders: a grocer’s bill being the one of all others that is liable to
-swell to gigantic proportions. The moment a daily visit is permitted,
-the maids appear to rack their brains to see what they can order, and I
-have saved myself at least five shillings a week since I put a veto on
-the daily call, which seemed a signal for them to discover that
-hearthstones, vinegar, treacle, and similar ‘intangible’ objects were
-required; and by ‘intangible’ I mean articles that might be wanted, as
-it is impossible to regulate the supplies of these as one can other
-goods; and as I have had far less of all since I send a written order to
-either Shoolbred or Whiteley--whose men are not naturally in the least
-likely to press for orders, and whose sole duties consist in bringing
-the things, and receiving payment for the same--I strongly recommend all
-housewives either to deal with them, or to go to the local grocers
-themselves, and at once impress on them that no orders given in the
-kitchen are to be attended to under any pretext whatever.
-
-The tradesman difficulty is the first misery, and then come the miseries
-of making acquaintance really with our house and surroundings. We are
-sure to discover a thousand small vexatious omissions in the house
-itself, and above all--‘_miserere mei!_’--will we see with dismay that
-the furniture which looked quite beautiful in our old home has
-suddenly, and in the most unprovoked manner, become absolutely shabby
-and miserable.
-
-This is an unanswerable problem, but it is a fact, and I can only
-account for it by suggesting that the new paper and paint are to blame,
-and that the sooner we get our furniture done up and rejuvenated the
-sooner shall we become reconciled to our new house; but, of course, this
-costs money--at a time, too, when money has been flowing away a little
-too freely to be pleasant--and, no doubt, we may have to wait: another
-reason why a move is trying, and why, like marriage, it should never be
-undertaken lightly or unadvisedly; and at first we must make the best of
-our surroundings, being duly thankful for the square carpets and the
-light short curtains that save us so much piecing and planning, and
-looking forward to new cretonne and tapestry as soon as we can afford
-it.
-
-Then comes the misery of making new friends; and here I would say a word
-of warning to those who go to an entirely unknown place, and have
-absolutely no introductions. The best and nicest folk do not rush to
-call on new people unless they have some knowledge of them; therefore
-wait a little and ‘gang warily’ before accepting as your _fidus Achates_
-the first lady who enters your doors, for doubtless her call is caused
-by curiosity, and because she has but few acquaintances and wishes
-ardently to have more.
-
-Of course, if you have an immense house and heaps of money, everyone
-calls on the house and on your income, and you can soon discriminate for
-yourselves who is likely to be desirable and who is not; but the
-ordinary householder should be very cautious about the acquaintances she
-makes until she feels her feet, and can find out somehow--it is from the
-clergyman and his wife generally--who is who, taking care in her turn to
-tell enough of herself and her forbears to show that she is respectable
-at any rate, and obtaining in due course the same sort of information
-about those with whom she is surrounded.
-
-In London--dear, lovely, unsnobbish London--one can do absolutely as one
-likes about everything, and nowhere is society as good as it is there.
-In the country the very best society is dull. In London one can meet
-with the only society worth having, in my opinion: the society of those
-who either in art, literature, science, or politics have ‘done
-something,’ and are making the history of the world. From this country
-folk are absolutely debarred: another reason, dear readers, why I say
-live in London, if you can in any way contrive to do so, and do not
-leave it on any pretext whatever. But as man must associate with his
-kind or perish, no doubt there are compensating elements in country
-society that are evident to those who have lived among it all their
-lives. At any rate, we can live more unselfishly in the country, and do
-more good to those of our poorer brethren than we can in these crowded
-streets, where they are nothing to us save a probable source of
-infection, and a certain source of annoyance and dread.
-
-To sum up this chapter briefly, then: let no move be made, unless such a
-course is absolutely imperative; let it be done in order and with
-regularity; and make no rushes into friendship in your new neighbourhood
-until you have discovered who is who, and made due inquiries on this
-subject; and, above all, under all circumstances, if fate has absolutely
-obliged you to make that particular move, make the best of it, and don’t
-always either mentally or openly contrast your present abode
-unfavourably and bad-temperedly with your last location. You have to
-live where you have pitched your tent: therefore, bad as the place may
-appear to you, try and smother your feelings until use has made you
-reconciled to your new surroundings, even if ‘home’ has not asserted its
-charm and caused you to become fond of the place, because your best and
-dearest are there with you. It will be an effort, I can assure you, to
-do so, but if you are strong-minded enough to suffer in silence, you
-will be repaid for so doing a thousand-fold.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-HALLS AND PASSAGES.
-
-
-The first part of the new house that should be attacked by the
-decorator’s art is undoubtedly the hall: and as undoubtedly it is here
-that the ordinary speculative builder surpasses himself; for, as a rule,
-the moment one opens the front door one falls up the staircase, or else
-one is confronted by a long, hopeless passage, which strikes a chill
-into the stoutest heart, especially if the owner of that heart has not
-had much experience in the art of ‘how to make the best’ of a very bad
-state of affairs.
-
-But in these days of ours nothing in the way of amelioration is
-impossible; and, indeed, were I given _carte blanche_ I would undertake
-to make the most hideous, square, ‘impossible’ house a bower of beauty.
-That sounds very egotistical, but I really do not mean it to be so; I
-only should like to impress upon my readers that never before has so
-much attention been given to decoration of houses as is given now, and
-that by the aid of carefully planned woodwork and by using arches on the
-plan of the Moorish fretwork first introduced by Liberty, a square room
-can be made picturesque, and a long narrow passage pleasant to
-contemplate, by simply putting up a series of slight arches, or else by
-curtaining off portions of it by aid of simple wooden partitions, such
-as are illustrated on page 25. I am very proud indeed of this sketch, as
-it was made from a brilliant inspiration of mine for a house where the
-instant one opened the door leading into the street, one was confronted
-by the stairs on one hand, and a long uninteresting straight passage on
-the other; and I was indeed pleased when I suddenly saw that a couple of
-arches could be cut out from what might have been a partition placed
-along the foot of the stairs from one side of the hall to the other, and
-that the arch at the stair foot could be curtained by a double curtain
-or pair of curtains, which would fall together when anyone raised it to
-go upstairs; while the other arch could be draped either to the left or
-right with a heavy piece of material according to the position of the
-wall, or whether there is anything in the way of a cupboard or door to
-be concealed.
-
-Treated in this way, the ordinary tiresome little hall of a London house
-is metamorphosed, at once, and, as the wooden framework can be so
-arranged that it can be screwed into the wall and so be made removable
-at will, I am quite sure this notion of mine will ‘catch on,’ as the
-Yankees say, more especially as Messrs. Wallace & Co., of Curtain Road,
-E.C., are willing to erect it ready painted and varnished at about 1_l._
-a foot; that is to say, if the
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 1.--Hall Arrangement.]
-
-passage were six feet wide the arches would cost about 6_l._, if twelve
-12_l._, and so on. The arches could be enamelled to match the hall
-decorations, and the curtains could be of some heavy material like the
-‘Elvira’ tapestry, or the beautiful jute velvet or Bokhara plush, which
-is undoubtedly _the_ material for draping, while even the humbler serge
-is not to be despised; but in this case the curtain in the stair arch
-should be made double and very full, a great deal of the appearance of
-this ‘notion’ depending on full graceful curtains and proper draperies.
-
-It would even be possible in a hall arranged like this to have one of
-the hideous hat and coat rails which die so hard; but even here I again
-repeat my warning against these monstrosities; they can never look like
-anything save Bluebeard’s wives hanging up against the wall, and are
-always a temptation to the gentle burglar or the common area sneak who
-delights to make off with coats and hats even if he can find nothing
-else; but if the master of the house declines to allow himself to be
-educated up to keeping his garments out of sight, he may be humoured by
-allowing him a place behind the hall curtain, which should be then
-properly draped in such a manner that the coats and hats would be
-completely hidden; a china or brass receptacle for umbrellas could be
-put on the other side of the convenient curtain also, and so all these
-most undecorative items will be put out of sight, thus causing the
-arches to be as useful as they are undoubtedly ornamental.
-
-In many houses the staircase goes up at the side and does not face the
-front door, and here, too, the arches come in with great effect. I mean
-in those houses where there is a straight passage from the front door to
-a room opposite which faces the door and so ends the house; in the
-passage there are usually two doors, one on either side, belonging to
-the dining and morning rooms, the end room being often enough a small
-back room, or, as was the case in our house at Shortlands, even the
-drawing-room itself; there the passage opens out on the right hand and
-discloses the staircase close by the door and a passage leading to the
-lavatory; here the arches conceal the staircase at once and also the
-latter arrangement, and make a decoration out of what is always to me a
-great eyesore. In one case where the arches have been erected the
-passage led to the servants’ pantry, the door of which always stood
-invitingly open, disclosing sink and washings-up generally to the eyes
-of the critical caller; the curtain conceals all that now splendidly,
-and the whole arrangement gives an idea of space and ‘veiled
-possibilities’ which is really marvellous.
-
-When we came to our present abode the hall here struck me with dismay,
-and it was some time before I could understand in the least what could
-be done with it; it was exactly like a telescope, with a hideous window
-at one end, opening out on to several dead trees, and what looked like
-the family washing, with doors appearing just where such doors should be
-concealed, and, of course, it had beautiful marble papers and graining
-and a brand-new dado of a dark and hideous design in varnished paper
-too; the ‘decorations,’ however, I did not consider; but I racked my
-brains about the long, narrow, awful passage called by courtesy ‘the
-hall,’ and at last I had an inspiration. I ran a wooden partition
-across, about ten feet from the end of the place, and behind that put in
-a hot and cold water arrangement, and made it into a regular cloak-room;
-opening out another door into that, which previously opened out into a
-tiny passage leading into the fourth sitting-room, which would have been
-absolutely unusable had not this been done; and then, by the aid of bent
-laths and a little plaster, two arches were made in the passage, draped,
-one to the right, the other to the left, with a ‘khelim,’ looped with
-cords and tassels; and so I obtained what old Astley used to call a
-‘wister’--_i.e._ a vista--and made a really decorated spot out of a most
-commonplace passage. Of course all the coats and hats are in the
-cloak-room, and there is nothing in the hall itself save the buffet
-illustrated on next page, which is in old oak, and which always looks
-nice, and forms a place where the cards of visitors can be placed, or
-the letters from the post, or other trifles; a couple of chairs for
-emergencies, the gong, and one of Mr. Pither’s beautiful red pots on a
-bamboo stand holding one of the long-suffering Aspidistras, which will
-live in draughts, and successfully bear uncomplainingly what would
-certainly kill at once any other plant, completing the furniture of this
-so-called hall.
-
-My readers will be amused to hear that since I wrote ‘From Kitchen to
-Garret’ I have learned a very great
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 2.--Oak Buffet.]
-
-many things; indeed, if I had not, I should most certainly not be
-writing a second instalment of ‘furniture literature.’ However, as one
-of these items is undoubtedly about the hall, I am now going to mention
-it here at once. Reluctantly, but emphatically, have I come to the
-conclusion that where hard wear is expected it is absolutely necessary
-to have linoleum of some kind or the other on the floor. Of course a
-great many well-regulated households are provided with nice tiles, which
-I can never look at without envy; but as the majority of folks are not
-so highly favoured, and as most households possess boys, and many have
-dogs too, I have regretfully discovered that, if a house is to be kept
-clean and tidy, the hall must have some material to cover it that can be
-washed daily, and so can be perpetually and properly kept in order.
-There is a particularly pretty linoleum made by the Staines Linoleum
-Company in Queen Victoria Street, E.C., which resembles tiny squares of
-black and white marble, which looks very well down. Of course it is a
-sham, and as such is to be deprecated, but I cannot help recommending
-it, as it looks so clean and nice and bright, and would do admirably in
-some halls; while for those who will not allow any shams anywhere in
-their houses, nothing looks so nice as the darkest brown self-coloured
-linoleum put down all over the passages and halls, with some six-foot
-and even larger rugs about. The rugs must be as large as possible, as
-little rugs are apt to slip and move under the servants’ feet. They also
-have a most aggravating manner of turning up at the edges, and becoming
-shabby; while the large rugs will wear for years, and stand really very
-hard wear too. These are about 28_s._ at either Maple’s or Treloar’s,
-and measure about three yards long by about one and a half yards wide. I
-say about, as none of these rugs seem to me to be exactly the same size;
-but this is near enough to give my readers some idea of how many they
-would require if they elect to put them down in their halls. The smaller
-rugs are about six feet long, and about four wide. These should have a
-wide binding sown on at the back, top and bottom, with a few shots, or
-else those round leaden weights used in ladies’ jackets, underneath the
-binding to keep the ends down, and prevent the curling which is so
-unsightly and tiresome in these small rugs, and on damp hall-floors
-should be lined at the back with American leather.
-
-Linoleum should never be scrubbed with soap and water, for this removes
-the pattern; but should be rubbed with a wet house-flannel to remove the
-dirt, and then polished with sour milk and water; plain brown linoleum
-should be kept in order with linseed oil (boiled) and turpentine mixed.
-This is specially required at first; for, like all materials which have
-no pattern on, it shows every footmark, and at first appears as if it
-were going to wear villainously; but the oil and turpentine soon restore
-it, and the rugs prevent the usual miserable effect of a plain
-material, which--I cannot think why--always wears badly if left to
-itself, and invariably looks untidy and shabby almost before it is down;
-therefore we may consider it an axiom that, if we are not provided with
-a good tiled floor, we cannot do better than have either the Staines
-linoleum to simulate marble, or the plain linoleum and rugs--this for
-preference. The linoleum should be washed daily with a damp duster, and
-the rugs shaken, and once a week all should be cleaned with the linseed
-oil and turpentine; this will double the wear, and insure all marks
-being quite removed.
-
-Another thing which I have most certainly learned is, that, delightful
-as felt looks and feels, and that beautiful as are the colours in which
-it is made, it is absolutely worthless for real wear. I had it laid down
-in the Watford house, when we went there, all over the halls and
-passages, and on the stairs too, and was quite delighted with the soft,
-warm feel thereof, and the appearance was equally pleasing; but we had
-not been there six months before that wretched stuff became the curse of
-the household; every single drop of water, every thread, or morsel of
-dust, every footmark showed; and from morning until night something had
-to be done in the shape of brushing and dusting, and, even then, we were
-never clean and never tidy. And then, in addition to its other sins, if
-the abominable material did not begin to go into holes; all along the
-edges of the stairs tiny white spots showed where the under felt was
-working through, and before a year was out all the wretched stuff had to
-be removed, and replaced in the hall with dark brown linoleum and rugs;
-and on the stairs by Pither’s beautiful dark-blue blossom-patterned
-Brussels carpet, which after a year’s hard wear looks really better than
-it did the first day it was put down; and I can never understand how
-anyone can ever recommend felt, as I am convinced it is absolutely
-worthless as a floor-covering, and that nothing can make it at all
-satisfactory; and as I still see it in shops, and notice it pressed on
-the attention of those about to furnish, I consider it my duty to warn
-my readers against it, for if they succumb to its fascinating
-appearance, they will inevitably suffer from its possession in the same
-way that I did.
-
-Another thing I most strongly advise my readers to possess themselves
-of, if in any way they can, is a really good stair-carpet. There should
-be no fidgety border or differently coloured pattern on them to attract
-the eye and tease the brain, but there should be merely a simple pattern
-in the lighter shade on a darker ground; this always looks well, and at
-the same time does not tire one as an accentuated pattern invariably
-does. I therefore recommend Pither’s excellent Brussels and Wilton pile
-carpets, 27 inches wide, the one at 4_s._ 6_d._, the other at 7_s._
-_3d._ the yard, for they are absolutely faultless, both in design and
-colour, and can be as absolutely relied on both for wear and appearance.
-Wallace & Co.’s ‘Stella’ Brussels at 3_s._ 11_d._ would be nice, if
-expense is a very great object, and their Burmese carpet with a design
-on is also to be recommended, and no one can go wrong about their
-stair-carpets if they make a judicious selection from these four
-qualities and designs. I am perpetually asked for a really good artistic
-and satisfactory carpet at a very low price, but I as often reply, You
-might as well ask me to supply you with a really good diamond necklace
-for a few shillings, for such a thing does not exist. You can get very
-artistic-looking carpets for a little money; the Burmese carpet is
-ridiculously cheap and very satisfactory, but for real hard wear
-Brussels or pile must be chosen, and for a really good thing one must
-always pay; and it is far cheaper in the long run to buy what is really
-good than to be perpetually vexed at the wear and tear which invariably
-surprises and annoys us, come when it may. I therefore very strongly
-advise all who can to invest in really good stair-carpets, even if they
-content themselves with something far less expensive for the other
-rooms.
-
-Then, too, I should much like to impress on my readers that the hideous
-glass one usually finds ready for one, either each side of the front
-door, or else as elaborate fanlights over the doors in the passage,
-should be removed and replaced by cathedral glass in leaded squares, or
-by bottle-ends. If, however, this is impossible, though the expense is
-not great, and the effect thereof is admirable, let the grained and
-patterned glass be covered by a really excellent imitation of the
-cathedral glass. This is to be obtained from Graham & Biddle, Graham
-House, Oxford Street, W., and is floated on glass in the same manner in
-which the ancient and much despised ‘decalcomanie’ used to be managed,
-and really has quite a surprising effect; a third way would be to remove
-the glass and replace it with quite plain, clear glass, covered inside
-by a fluted curtain of good Madras muslin, in really artistic colours.
-No one who has not risen in rebellion against the builder’s arrangement
-of starred or patterned glass can imagine how immensely any place is
-improved by removing it altogether and replacing it with something else;
-and though this may appear a trifle to write about, I can assure you
-that it is only by strict attention to such trifles that one can produce
-an artistic whole, which shall be entirely and absolutely satisfactory
-in every way. And, after all, these small matters cost far less than the
-elaborately draped curtains, the fitted carpets, the giant sideboards,
-and the other expensive monstrosities against which I am always waging
-war.
-
-To be really perfect, the hall should be a square space in the centre of
-the house, where a big fire could blaze in winter, and masses of flowers
-could greet the incoming guest when dear, delightful summer makes fires
-unnecessary; and naturally such a hall would require very different
-treatment to the ordinary long and narrow passage; but if the staircase
-sweeps out of the hall I should still suggest my arches here. They would
-hide the stairs--never very lovely objects at the best of times--and
-obscure the glimpses of ascending and descending legs, which, especially
-in the long-dead days of crinolines, made going up or down stairs a
-penance indeed to any one who had to perform the ascent and descent in
-the face of a numerous company gathered in the hall, besides which a
-sense of snugness would be given to the whole place, which it could
-never have were that open space left unprotected, stretching up into the
-air!
-
-As a rule, the square hall should be treated, as far as mere
-wall-decoration goes, in the same manner as the passages which lead out
-of it are treated, but here it would be quite in character, were fresh
-colours introduced, or the style of decoration reversed: that is to say,
-if the dado, which is imperative in a narrow passage, were replaced by
-the same decoration used as a frieze, taking care only that the colours
-should harmonise: for example, supposing the passages themselves were
-decorated in brown and gold, the brown being the ‘Kenesaw’ design
-printed on real brown paper by Essex & Co., Albert Mansions, Victoria
-Street, S.W., at five shillings and sixpence the piece, the dados being
-of a really good and strong gold Japanese leather paper, the inner or
-square hall could be papered in the same manner, using, however, the
-Japanese gold paper as a frieze; the frieze-rail could be Giles’ picture
-and china rail, holding big jugs and blue and white china of all kinds,
-and thus a charming effect would be obtained suitable for the squareness
-of the hall, and yet harmonising absolutely with the passages which lead
-out of it.
-
-In such a hall as this the ceiling should be divided into squares; this
-can be done quite easily nowadays by a series of laths or mouldings made
-on purpose; this is nailed into the laths above the ceiling with long
-thin nails. A very good moulding made on purpose is sold by Messrs.
-Haines & Co., 83 Queen Victoria Street, E.C., at about one penny a foot,
-and the squares thus made are filled either with a good ceiling paper or
-else by an admirably decorative material, exactly like moulded plaster,
-also sold by Haines, and called anaglypta; this costs about 2_l._ for a
-good-sized ceiling, and when up all should have a coat of ivory silicate
-paint, or else of the invaluable and admirable Aspinall enamel, also in
-ivory, for though builders may argue, and decorators implore, for a
-heavier and more ornate system of treating the ceiling and cornice, I
-cannot too emphatically condemn any colouring being introduced into the
-ceiling and surrounding plaster work in lines, and distracting contrasts
-of colour, thus bringing the ceiling down on our heads, depressing one
-dreadfully, and all too often bringing into notice much which would be
-better left to obscurity.
-
-But my readers must not imagine from the above that I am recommending
-for one moment the ordinary ugly white-wash, the mere appearance of
-which ruins any room, or that I am ceasing to love the much-recommended
-papered ceiling--indeed I am not. Colour of some kind is necessary there
-as well as anywhere else, but the colour must be ivory, or faint
-terra-cotta, green, blue, or yellow, and must not be daubed on by the
-heavy hand of the decorator revelling in golds, and reds, and blues in
-bewildering confusion, and even introducing dreadful real or imitation
-oak beams, all well enough in houses where they are part of the fabric,
-and have the sentiment and beauty of age to defend their existence, but
-absolutely indefensible in an ordinary London house or small suburban
-villa, as indefensible as is old oak furbished up in Tottenham Court
-Road and made ghastly with sticky, varnished paint or stain, when placed
-in a house that has the nineteenth century and speculative builder
-written large all over it, in the bulging walls, its vilely drawn lines,
-and its rawness and newness and vulgarity of style.
-
-For it is no use attempting to have a pretty house unless we are
-absolutely strong-minded, and begin by forbidding the decorator to do
-anything but what he is told to do; and it is much wiser to write down
-exactly at the commencement of our decorations ‘precept on precept,’
-‘line upon line,’ ‘word by word,’ for each room, exactly what we wish
-the room to be arranged like, putting on paper the name and number of
-the wall paper, the colour of the paint, and in fact every single thing,
-so that at the end there can be no mistake; and above all we must not be
-persuaded out of our own ideas by the builder or by the upholsterer, or
-by anyone at all, once we have made up our minds what we intend to have,
-for we may be quite sure that if we are we shall repent it for ever
-after. I am often much disappointed to find, after I have taken real and
-elaborate pains to tell people exactly how their houses should be
-decorated, that they have allowed themselves to be talked over by the
-builder or the decorator, and that in consequence I am again sent for
-(at double the expense of course), to tell them how to get over, or in
-some measure mitigate the horrors that have been perpetrated. ‘It is
-such a nuisance to run from shop to shop getting all the different
-papers,’ says one, ‘and the builder had almost the same sort of design
-in his book, and said his hung much better than those you recommend.’
-‘Oh! we hadn’t time,’ says another, ‘and so we left it to the builder,
-and now, please, dear Mrs. Panton, do help us again, for the house does
-look horrid, and we cannot think why,’ and of course I go, and could
-weep, really weep, over the waste of money, time, and material which
-would all have been saved had they handed the builder my written plan of
-decorations and told him that that, and that only, was to be the order
-for the work.
-
-And decoration is really so easy nowadays, that, like moving, it need
-only be done slowly and in order to be an absolute success. All that is
-required from the builder is the plan of each room, you then write to
-the paper manufacturer for as many pieces of paper at so much, so many
-yards for the dados or frieze; this is ascertained by simply measuring
-round the room with a tape; to Aspinall for so much paint (a gallon at
-25_s._ does quite a large room), and then having collected your
-materials set to work. The painter has not to exercise his genius (?) or
-discretion (?) at all, he has simply to do as he is told; and, this
-being understood, one is spared the endless discussions with the
-builder, who wants to sell you some of the reams of hideous paper he has
-bought wholesale, and for a mere song, at a clearing-out sale of the
-‘Chamber of Horrors’ of some paper-manufacturer, and who makes a great
-parade of the printed prices at the back of the sheets, trusting that
-you are innocent of the knowledge that on all papers the regular
-discount is 33 per cent., and that his own particular stock has been
-purchased at almost waste-paper prices, because the manufacturer was
-only too pleased to get rid of what ordinary upholsterers and decorators
-had absolutely refused to take up; and who is persuasive and pleading,
-and finally impertinent, when he discovers he has an adept to deal with,
-and not one of the numerous victims erstwhile so easily bullied or
-fatigued into putting up almost anything he shows them in order to get
-rid of and see the last of him.
-
-I think the hall and passage are good spots in which to once more
-enforce the above details, for all should be done at the beginning, at
-the entrance as it were, or else the worry and disappointments will be
-endless; therefore I cannot consider the disquisition in which I have
-indulged out of place, and I feel I cannot too much or too often impress
-on my readers the absolute necessity of being sure what they want
-themselves before sending for the decorator; he must only be the hands
-to execute the work; and he must be absolutely silent about colours and
-patterns of paper if the house is to be a success at all. There are
-several other schemes of decoration that are absolutely successful in a
-hall, which were not spoken of in ‘From Kitchen to Garret,’ and which
-can be mentioned here before passing away from the hall altogether,
-although there are several things still to be said about it; and,
-indeed, as in all that regards decoration, it is an absolutely
-inexhaustible subject, as new and pretty things appear daily, and good
-combinations of colour are constantly suggesting themselves to the
-decorative mind. For the ordinary long dark passage, I would suggest
-that yellow and white should be used, nut-brown taking the place of
-white should there be very much traffic in the place, or should there be
-necessity for a certain amount of economy; very small halls look nice
-with Pither’s ‘special’ yellow and white berry paper, at 2_s._ a piece;
-a matting dado in plain white with all ivory paint, and Maple’s yellow
-and white ceiling paper, at 4_d._ a piece; the matting dado being
-replaced by Liberty’s nut-brown arras cloth, at 9¾_d._ a yard, and all
-‘nut-brown’ paint, where it is considered desirable to have a darker
-arrangement than would be obtained by the ivory and white. The arras is
-very wide, 54 inches, and would in consequence cover a much larger
-wall-space than the matting does, neither is it so difficult to manage
-as is matting, but both should be secured at the bottom by upholsterer’s
-tacks, and at the top by a light wooden rail, sold by Haines, of 83
-Queen Victoria Street, E.C., at something under 1_d._ a foot. This
-should be screwed to the wall, and could be removed, arras, or matting
-and all at any time, which it could not be were ordinary nails employed,
-and a simple (and hideous) paper dado could replace the more expensive
-‘properties,’ were the owner to remove and wish to take the dado with
-him, a plain paper-dado and a tidy wall being all that could be demanded
-of him by his landlord; beauty and æstheticism are not in the bond that
-exists between him and his tenant.
-
-Another arrangement would be Pither’s beautiful ‘Buttercup, C,’ at 3_s._
-a piece, and yellow matting dado, and all ‘Mandarin’ paint, and a
-ceiling paper in red and cream; the ‘berry,’ at 1_s._, would do quite
-well with either of these schemes. Pither’s dull red pile carpet would
-be best for the stairs; and a good many Oriental rugs should be about
-the hall. Any draperies over the doors should be the dull red ‘Elvira’
-tapestry, sold by Wallace, or of Mandarin yellow serge, this, of course,
-being much cheaper than the ‘Elvira’ brocade, which is 9_s._ 6_d._, as
-against the 1_s._ 11½_d._ of the ever useful serge.
-
-If yellow should be objected to--and nothing is so useful or so
-successful in a dark passage--blue should be the next colour to be
-thought about, and Liberty’s blue tulip damasque is a most valuable
-paper for a blue hall. This is only 2_s._ a piece, and ‘hangs’
-splendidly, and a very original effect would be produced by this paper,
-a high dado of red and gold leather paper, and all dull red paint; the
-red of the paint to match the curious dull-lacquered appearance of the
-red in the Japanese leather paper; the stair carpet should be red, and
-the ceiling paper yellow and white; as a rule Maple’s ceiling paper, at
-4_d._ a piece, is quite good enough for anything; but if people do not
-mind spending a little more money, Haines has a charming ceiling paper
-at 3_s._, in yellow and white, which, being of a more geometrical and
-better design in every way, would be perfect for ceilings, although, as
-I said before, where money is an object, the yellow and white ceiling
-paper is all that is absolutely necessary, and really answers remarkably
-well.
-
-Should a red hall be desired, Pither’s ‘Buttercup, B,’ at 2_s._ 6_d._,
-cannot be improved upon. Cream or else ‘Scindered’ paint should be used;
-a red and white matting for the dado, not a check matting, but one which
-has a red line in it, and dark blue art carpet on the floor, blue and
-white ceiling paper--Maple, 4_d._ a piece. Any draperies should be
-either blue or red, and the ever-useful Khelims would show off admirably
-in a house arranged and decorated in this way, for their Eastern
-colourings would appear to advantage against the red and cream walls.
-This is a bold decoration, but one that looks extremely well, as does
-even a bolder arrangement, consisting of the ‘Buttercup, B,’ all
-malachite-green stained woodwork, a dull green matting dado, Burr &
-Elliott’s (Oxford Street, W.) dull green cocoa-nut matting on the hall
-and stairs, dull green and white ceiling paper, and draperies of
-malachite-green serge. All the furniture should be Armitage’s stained
-green wooden furniture, his high-backed little settle being particularly
-adapted for use in a hall, where no more furniture should be allowed
-than is absolutely necessary, unless the hall can, by reason of its size
-and design, be used as a room, and treated and furnished like one.
-
-I cannot and never do recommend either a terra-cotta or real green wall;
-the latter is such a nondescript and uncertain colour that the use of it
-in the entrance appears to me to strike the keynote to the character of
-the inhabitants, who are thus pronounced uncertain in their ideas, and
-not particularly satisfactory, and there are so many ‘builder’s horrors’
-in the shape of dull, gloomy terra-cotta papers that inexperienced folks
-are apt to buy simply because the pure word ‘terra-cotta’ implies to a
-certain class of mind that the paper is artistic and high art, that I am
-impelled to taboo terra-cotta altogether at once; but if Liberty’s
-‘tulip’ and ‘marigold’ damasque papers are bought a terra-cotta wall may
-be indulged in, though I can never pronounce this as totally
-satisfactory as are the red, blue, and yellow and brown walls. If the
-terra-cotta is selected, I advise ivory paint; if that cannot be
-indulged in, a shade of dull green should be chosen to harmonise with
-the terra-cotta, and the dado should be either green matting or else of
-green and gold (_dull_ green and gold, please!) Japanese leather paper;
-the stair carpet should be green, and so should the draperies and
-ceiling paper.
-
-A green wall could be arranged by using Liberty’s green and silver
-‘tulip’ damasque, at 2_s._, and dull green paint, and a pale green
-matting dado, Pither’s dark red carpet, and dark red draperies, the red
-and cream ‘berry’ for ceiling, or else terra-cotta draperies, and the
-‘Stella’ stair carpet from Wallace. This hall would be artistic; but a
-cooler effect, and one that would be specially adapted for a hot hall,
-one into which much sun pours, would be obtained by using the green and
-silver paper, sea-green paint, and all pale green draperies, and a green
-carpet, using white and green muslin on the windows, and any white and
-green china to hold flowers and plants that one can find.
-
-Once the papering and painting are done and the stair-carpets are down
-and the draperies are up, serious attention must be given to the trifles
-which appear scarcely worth seeing to, but on which depend so much, and
-which I have spoken about in the beginning of this chapter; for it is of
-no use to put charming papers on our walls if we leave hideous glass in
-the doors, or allow our staircase windows to glare at us with strips of
-yellow, blue, and red glass for edges round a starred centre, in a
-manner found even in these artistic days in houses where people should
-presumably know better; and I therefore repeat my advice to my readers
-to look out for the trifles, and never to rest until all they possess
-has some beauty to excuse its existence.
-
-Perhaps the most tiresome thing in the orthodox hall is the ordinary
-long staircase window; but this can be improved at very small cost if a
-little artistic talent is brought to bear upon it. If it can be afforded
-in any way the window can be made beautiful by filling it in with
-cathedral glass in leaded squares, and about three or four really good
-medallions in stained glass could be hung about. These can be procured
-from Mr. Pither, 38 Mortimer Street, Regent Street, W. A wide shelf
-should be placed at the bottom of the window, and china could be
-arranged there. On the landing could be placed a tall grandfather clock,
-in such a way that the face faces the hall, and, if there is room, a big
-palm in a stand adds much to the effect. This would obviate any
-necessity for draperies, always rather difficult to keep clean in this
-exalted situation. If this arrangement is too expensive, a wooden arch
-should be placed round the top of the window, and the woodwork should
-taper down each side to the bottom of the window (illustrated in Fig.
-3), and a soft silk drapery should be caught up on one side. This is
-confined by a cord, passed over a nail, which can be loosened by
-releasing the cord; the curtain then falls over the windows, and either
-obscures the sunshine or the darkness, according to whether it is
-lowered at night or day, although I should personally prefer to leave it
-draped and to hang a lamp up in the arch, which could be lighted at
-night. Plants or china could be arranged along the ledge, and make a
-charming picture out of what is usually an intensely ugly spot.
-
-Another great difficulty is the usual London landing half-way up-stairs,
-where sometimes a couple of chairs are put, on which no one ever sits,
-flanked by a table no one ever dusts or by a couple of palms everyone
-forgets to water. Here a really clear brain is required to cope with the
-difficulties; and I have had a sketch done by a friend of mine, who has
-made a perfectly charming corner out of this generally hideous spot,
-which I hope will speak for itself, and shows what can be made out of a
-similar landing with trouble and a good deal of really artistic feeling.
-In this same house the second door to the drawing-room, which is never
-used and only looks frightful to those who come up the stairs and see
-this door first of all, is turned into a cabinet, where various
-old-fashioned fans and curiosities
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 3.--Staircase Window.]
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 4.--A London Landing.]
-
-generally are kept, the sunken space between the wall and the door
-itself being amply deep enough for this purpose; and as all doors can be
-made to open into a room, the deep space can always be on the passage
-side, the flat side being in the room itself and hidden by a straight
-curtain, or, by a still simpler process, by taking off all the
-mouldings, handles, &c., and papering straight over the door, just as if
-it were a portion of the wall itself.
-
-The simple over-doors, sold by so many furniture houses nowadays, should
-be placed over the doors, in most houses, in the hall, or else pictures
-should be hung there; and, indeed, one cannot have too many good
-pictures anywhere. If real paintings and excellent proof engravings are
-not to be afforded, do let me beg of my readers to indulge themselves in
-autotypes or photographs from really good pictures. These look specially
-well in a hall, and naturally do not serve as dust traps, as do far too
-many of the Japanese ornaments, fans, skins, and trophies of the chase,
-which are usually considered appropriate to this remarkably dusty and
-trying situation. Pictures can be dusted daily; other ornaments require
-more time and attention, though naturally one would rather have these
-than nothing, if one cannot afford pictures, in this spot, while the
-over-doors finish off the hall, and can have the five or six china
-ornaments, which look well and can be regularly dusted with a long
-feather brush and duly washed once a week when the hall is entirely
-turned out.
-
-I most strongly advise the hall to be warmed in some way if it can
-possibly be managed, and I must own that I never can understand why
-houses are built year after year without this simple but most important
-convenience. One need not use a stove because one has it, but it should
-never be out of one’s power to thoroughly warm the house should one wish
-to do so, and I look forward to a day I have often spoken of, when women
-shall qualify as architects, and shall turn their hands entirely to
-domestic architecture. Until then I suppose we must go on grumbling and
-putting up with grateless halls, cupboardless houses, and rooms where no
-provision at all has been made for placing a bed or arranging furniture
-with common sense, to say nothing of artistic grouping, that of course
-is absolutely impossible in the ordinary square recessless house with
-which we are now so very liberally provided by the male architect!
-
-But if in any way possible have a grate put into the hall, or else some
-kind of stove; of course a grate means a chimney, and this is not always
-forthcoming when wanted, but a grate is much to be preferred; in the
-first place it can mean a pretty mantel and over-mantel, and cheerful
-blazes in winter, and pretty flowers in summer; and in the second, the
-warmth it gives is separable from the fumes and stuffy feeling that one
-always finds with a stove, no matter how good it is. Then, too, a stove
-is hideous, it can’t help being so, and it is frankly frightful; still,
-if warmth cannot be got into a hall in any other way, a stove must be
-used, and I think the one sold by Mr. Pither in Mortimer Street, the
-‘Eclipse,’ is as good as any; it burns a long time without any
-attention, and costs very little indeed--I think something like twopence
-for the twelve hours.
-
-The reason why I impress upon my readers the necessity of a stove is
-that I cannot believe but that we should be saved an immense amount of
-illness were we yet more particular about an equal temperature than we
-are. As a rule our rooms are fairly warm, but in the winter our passages
-are like ice, they cannot help being so; windows must be opened and the
-outer doors cannot be kept hermetically sealed, and the moment we leave
-our fireside or the rooms where we have fires, we get a sudden chill
-which cannot fail to try us terribly, even if it results in nothing
-worse; besides which a fearful cold draught comes into our sitting-room
-the moment the doors are open, and we shiver and throw on more
-coal--coal that we should not require were the hall warmed as it ought
-to have been, and which would allow us to even leave our sitting-room
-door open should we desire to do so. Now our first exclamation to an
-incoming friend is: ‘Oh, please shut the door!’ and we dismiss him or
-her with the same pleasing but necessary injunction.
-
-I was delighted to see in one of the papers the other day that there had
-been a most remarkable diminution in that fatal scourge of our
-ancestresses--consumption; for I am certain this is entirely due to the
-fact that we are far more sensible about our clothing, and much more
-lavish about firing, than our fathers used to be; and I feel convinced,
-were we to have still more fires, and were we to taboo low
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 5.--Hall Wardrobe (No. 1).]
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 6.--Hall Wardrobe (No. 2).]
-
-dresses entirely, consumption would soon be a thing of the past.
-Therefore I cannot, I feel, say too much about the necessity for a stove
-or fire in the hall, which is certainly neither complete nor sensible
-without this most necessary piece of furniture; but I suppose we must
-await our lady architect before these are universal, or before we get a
-really perfect house, from a woman’s point of view at least. The
-furniture of the hall must depend entirely on its length and breadth,
-but once more I beg my readers not to allow of anything approaching the
-appearance of the ordinary ugly hat stand there; if Edwin will not
-remove his hideous hats and very ugly coats upstairs, Angelina must
-conciliate him by having one of the hall wardrobes illustrated here. The
-first one could go into a corner behind the door, and could be painted
-to match the decorations, or else could be of either American walnut or
-oak; the curtains could be of serge worked over in a decorative design
-in coarse crewels, or else of some pretty tapestry. Complete in art
-colours with serge curtains it costs 3_l._ 3_s._, in walnut 4_l._ 18_s._
-6_d._; the straight one costs 5_l._ 15_s._ in art colours, and 6_l._
-6_s._ in walnut; but for the impecunious, and, alas! there are many
-among us, a V-shaped piece of wood could be put into the corner and
-screwed there with a straight piece to make a front, from which the
-curtain should hang down straight; behind this a V-shaped shelf could be
-placed for hats, and some hooks could be screwed on the wall for coats;
-but if in any way possible the real thing should be bought--it could be
-moved to any other house and would last a life-time. These designs are
-made by Wallace of the Curtain Road, where these capital hall wardrobes
-are to be had, and which will, I trust, strike a death-blow to the
-old-fashioned stands, which were as ugly as they were temptations to the
-ordinary area-sneak to come in and help himself to any coat or hat he
-takes a fancy to. Instead of the ordinary hall table I again suggest the
-buffet, illustrated on page 28; nothing looks better, and if a carriage
-is kept the oak chest, which can be opened like a cupboard, could hold
-the rugs, while the top could be ornamented with china and hold a big
-Imari bowl for cards, and a smaller one for the cards left during the
-afternoon or letters sent by post; a couple of chairs and the
-high-backed settle spoken of before would be ample for any ordinary
-hall, where there should be, furthermore, a good mat at the front door,
-but no small mats in each doorway or dreadful woolly mats about, things
-which are quite unnecessary and are as ugly as they are tiresome.
-
-It is absolutely necessary that, whether artistic or not, the hall
-should be scrupulously tidy and as scrupulously clean; and I do not know
-a more difficult thing than to insist on the former of these two axioms,
-and to see one’s orders are carried out, especially when there are boys
-and dogs--those two fatal elements to tidiness and cleanliness, but
-which are absolutely necessary to the making of a complete house. One
-may go out leaving a spotless place, with no _débris_ to offend the eye,
-but one returns to find it scattered over with hats and caps, tennis
-rackets, bats and stumps, paw and footmarks, and a general air of
-distracting dirt all over, that is absolutely trying to the eye, that
-fondly hopes to see what it left; and the only way to cope with the
-human element is to make a species of pound, into which all is put, and
-from whence nothing can be extracted without the payment of some small
-fine. I have known a week’s pocket money go in one morning, but, as a
-rule, very few lessons are required; the unfailing exactment of a fine
-teaching even a boy that there is a place for everything and that
-everything must be put in that place. The dogs and footmarks have to be
-put up with, and I have known an unhappy kitchenmaid wash the front
-doorsteps five single times in one day, when the boys have been at home,
-and rain has, as is usual in Watford, been falling dismally. A back
-staircase is another thing no house should be built without. This spares
-the hall immensely, and saves the best stair-carpet, and prevents one
-meeting the servants as one goes up and down--a thing I personally very
-much object to. I don’t know why, but I resent hearing them go up to bed
-past the drawing-room door, and owe our present house yet another
-grudge, because, for the first time in our lives, we have here no second
-staircase. If there should be one, I again advise the oilcloth dado
-spoken of in my former book; nothing is so absolutely indestructible, or
-so clean, and with this dado a wall would remain tidy and spotless for
-an entire lifetime. A strong cocoanut matting should be put down on the
-stairs themselves, but the edges of the stairs should be carefully
-inspected, as back stairs, especially, are apt to be very roughly
-finished off; if this is the case, a carpenter should be called in,
-either to plane them smoothly, or mend them, or a wide, broad piece of
-brass should bind the edges; these, again, should have a pad of flock in
-a thin lining laid along them, finally covered with the cocoanut
-matting. These small precautions will not cost very much, but will
-certainly add immensely to the chances of the longevity of the carpets.
-It would be a good thing to have the ‘treads’ of the back stairs grained
-and varnished; but those in the principal staircase should always be
-painted white with Aspinall’s water-paint. This gives an indescribably
-clean and fresh look to the stairs, and the paint is so easily applied
-that the housemaid could do it herself yearly, or whenever an
-opportunity offers to re-paint the treads. Housekeepers should, in my
-opinion, raise a statue to Aspinall, for he certainly has removed the
-difficulties that lay in wait for the would-be artistic mistress of the
-household; for now she is rendered quite independent of the British
-workman, and can either paint her house herself, or give it to a man who
-can be trusted to apply the paint, albeit no amount of instruction will
-teach him to match a colour or produce anything save a hideous
-caricature of the paper we give him, and whose ‘heye’ is absolutely
-incapable of seeing what a ridiculous muddle he is making; and I,
-therefore, cannot too often impress upon my readers, especially on those
-who live far from really artistic workpeople, that if they want their
-houses to be really nice, they must indulge in Aspinall, and must insist
-on the unbroken, unpicked-out surface of paint that use of this most
-invaluable enamel produces most satisfactorily.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-NOOKS AND CORNERS.
-
-
-I think so very much of the appearance of our rooms depends on how we
-arrange our corners that I have had two large drawings made from corners
-in my present house, which, at the risk of appearing egotistical, I am
-going to write about; not because I consider them perfect--no house can
-really be perfect unless far more money is spent upon it than I am able
-to spend--but because I consider they will in some measure assist those
-who, like myself, are very fond of pretty and comfortable things, but
-are not prepared to ruin themselves in order to obtain this most
-desirable combination. I wrote so fully in my former book on the
-arrangement of sitting-rooms that I am only going to touch lightly on
-the orthodox papering and painting of dining-, drawing-, and
-morning-rooms, reserving all my new ideas for the billiard-room and
-library, neither of which rooms were considered likely to be required
-for the modest young couple starting in life, for whom I more
-particularly designed that special volume.
-
-As I said before, this book is intended for older folks, or for those
-who have more of this world’s goods than Edwin and Angelina were
-supposed to possess; and, therefore, it really supplements--it does not
-in any measure do away with--‘From Kitchen to Garret;’ and as I am most
-anxious to impress this upon my readers by not repeating any of the
-information I gave there, I intend especially in the present chapter to
-denote how, with a little care, the modest house can be expanded into a
-more artistic abode, or how a bigger house can be furnished, the while
-we do not set on one side the furniture with which we began life, and
-which we possessed ourselves of with so much gladness and with such a
-sense of importance--at least, I hope all my readers did, for the
-culture of home and of all that makes a home cannot, in my opinion, be
-too much developed. Therefore, from their earliest days children should
-be encouraged to think about their own special rooms, and should be
-taught to notice and have a voice in the arrangement of all the house.
-If the house is thoroughly appreciated and cultivated, if, above all, it
-is the prettiest and happiest place our children know of, we shall not
-have much difficulty with them when they cease to be children and begin
-to feel they have a separate existence to ours. They have this separate
-existence, and we should endeavour that, without in any measure relaxing
-the ties of duty and politeness, they should be able to feel they are
-themselves and not our bond-slaves; and this can only be done by
-consulting and talking with them freely about all we have and do,
-letting them, if they will, develop their own tastes gradually, but not
-in a manner that will oust us from our proper place or jar with any of
-our own pet ideas on the subject of home and its decoration and
-embellishment; for it is better to endure the ugliest place in the world
-cheerfully than to live in artistic completeness, if this same artistic
-completeness means sweeping away all the landmarks of our elders and
-betters, and leaving them stranded in an unfamiliar world of new tables
-and chairs, which are nothing to them, and but ill replace the furniture
-which reminds them of so much that we never knew about or have entirely
-forgotten. I have known a girl in her zeal for beauty make her mother so
-abjectly miserable by removing a round table, once the centre of the
-scattered houseful of boys and girls, and by ruthlessly disposing of
-clumsy and hideous furniture, made precious by memories of those who
-have gone into the land of shadows, that I am compelled at times to
-allow sentiment to sway me and to say, Consider first whether a thing
-has associations before, in one’s anxiety for beauty, one does away with
-it. If it have, let it remain, for nothing can ever replace it; but if
-it have not (and I sternly myself refuse to become sentimental over a
-chair or footstool), by all means get rid of it, and replace it with
-something lighter and more modern. As a rule, this will not last long
-enough for us to cling round it mentally or to deck it with any of the
-finer sentiment that is inseparable from much of the heavy mahogany and
-walnut under which so many of my disciples still groan, and which has
-been handed down from one generation to another, each generation
-becoming more and more discontented with it, until the present are in
-open revolt against that which gave our grandmothers and
-great-grandmothers the greatest possible gratification to possess.
-
-The pretty corners in which we all delight, and the lightness and
-brightness that now characterise our houses, would have been the source
-of endless woe and trouble to the dear ladies of old. The corners would
-have meant dust and ‘gimcracks,’ and as the light colours in which we
-revel would and do soon become soiled, they, too, would have been
-deprecated because they showed the dirt, which was present equally in
-the darker rooms, but not being visible was not taken any notice of
-until the annual clean, when all was made aggressively shining and
-absolutely spotless, remaining so for about a week, when dust began to
-gather again, but it was unnoticed because the dark materials did not
-show the dirt, which, however, could be felt, did our finger come in
-contact with the rough moreen or dismal repps in which their souls
-delighted, and of which specimens still haunt us in the houses of those
-who are possessors of similar heirlooms with which they dare not part.
-
-Then, too, the dear ladies were so fond of stuffing up their windows and
-darkening their rooms still more by the drawing down of blinds and the
-eliminating of every morsel of sunshine, for fear their precious carpets
-would become faded; and I am sorry to say that this affection for
-half-dark rooms yet lingers among many who ought to know better. But
-when I stumble into one of these rooms, where one cannonades against the
-furniture and falls over footstools in the half-light, I always feel
-convinced that the blinds are drawn to prevent the sun beating too
-warmly on the faded complexion of the owner of that house, or to hide
-the ravages of time, that the liberally applied pearl-powder and rouge
-and the sticky harsh dye are powerless to remove entirely, but that
-almost disappear in the rose-tinted chambers I so abhor and despise; and
-I therefore know what to expect when I am ushered into one of these
-stuffy, dismal rooms, and am thankful when I get out of it; for the mind
-that can delight in defying age with paint and dye is not likely to find
-me of the smallest use. I should say at once, Do away with the blinds
-and shorten the curtains, and let in some air; and as the owner of that
-house would sooner dye--I mean die--than accede to my request, I have
-nothing to say to her, and get away as soon as I can. Any amount of
-decoration for the house I like and appreciate, but I cannot appreciate
-or understand the ambition that makes one Aspinall one’s face and
-pretend to be five-and-twenty when one knows one will never see forty
-again.
-
-Corners are especially appreciated, unfortunately, by the ladies who
-draw their blinds down and never face the eye of day save in a carriage,
-with a spotted veil over their features and a shading parasol, and no
-doubt some of these individuals will look at the pictures in this book
-and may see these words of wisdom; if they do, I hope they will consider
-them, wash their faces, and pull up their blinds. I can assure them
-they will be far happier and healthier, more especially if they realise
-that the time they spend in tiring their heads and painting their faces
-is absolutely wasted--it neither makes them younger nor more
-ornamental--and that it would be far better employed in working for
-others, or in making their homes as cheerful as unfailing sunshine and
-fresh air invariably do. Therefore, down with the curtains and up with
-the blinds, and let us have as much cheerful sunshine as this rather
-disappointing climate will allow us to possess, and the first corner I
-would make is the summer corner, for, that once made, dismal darkness
-and stuffiness would be an impossibility.
-
-The special corner illustrated here is one of the windows in my present
-morning-room, which is at the end of the room, in a curious species of
-square nook to itself; there is an enormous species of bow-window
-beside, where I have my desk and other belongings, and beyond that again
-is a third window, below which I have a long book-case full of books;
-but though this window is to some extent unique, the seat illustrated
-here, which is an adaptation or rather an enlargement of Giles’ ‘Cosy
-Corner,’ could be put under any window and of course enlarged immensely;
-if desired, it could go across one side of the room, and the arm with a
-curtain could come out straight from the wall of the room, thus making a
-sheltered place in which to sit and read; and breaking up admirably the
-long straight look of the wall, which all too often makes an ordinary
-room the most uninteresting place in the world, and the most difficult
-to render artistic and pleasant. The right-hand side of the seat should
-be at least two feet longer than the left-hand side, or else the seat
-will look too much like a family pew, which cognomen one of my friends
-is rude enough to give to my present seat, but arranged with the ends of
-an uneven length, the seat looks like nothing save what it is--a
-remarkably comfortable lounge, where one can either sit and read or
-talk, and it forms an extremely pretty addition to any room.
-
-The special seat illustrated here is enamelled Aspinall’s electric
-turquoise, and is upholstered in Colbourne’s yellow and white Louis XVI.
-damask, at 2_s._ 11½_d._ a yard, but I intend soon to replace this
-covering by dark yellow stamped
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 7.--A Summer Corner.]
-
-corduroy velveteen, for, pretty as the Louis XVI. damask is, and
-admirable as it is for curtains and table-cloths, it does not answer for
-hard wear, and soon becomes soiled and rubbed, a fact Giles warned me
-about; but I was anxious to experiment myself on the subject; and having
-done so, and found it does not answer, here solemnly warn my readers
-from using this charming material for tight coverings or where real hard
-wear is expected of it. Tightly upholstered furniture should be always
-covered in something that will really wear, not only because of the
-expense, but because of the worry of having workmen always in the house
-replacing the furniture which has become soiled and worn.
-
-But whatever the seat is upholstered in, the fringe round the seat
-should not be forgotten, and it should almost touch the ground; mine
-does not, and in consequence the seat always has the appearance of
-having grown out of its frocks; and the material should be in some
-measure a contrast to the colour used for enamelling the ends and
-woodwork; indeed, I much prefer the ends, &c., to be of some polished
-wood, while the straight piece above the seat and below the shelf could
-be either plainly painted or polished wood, or else it could be made of
-brocade or Japanese leather paper. Mr. Giles puts Lincrusta in those he
-sells to fit into recesses, but I cannot endure this stiff and very ugly
-material, and always ask him to replace it for me with something
-preferable, the excellent Japanese leather looking better, in my
-opinion, than anything else. The straight piece above the seat, if
-covered in brocade and furnished with tiny hooks, would make an
-admirable place to display the miniatures and odds and ends of silver
-that are so fashionable; really old and valuable fans could also be
-displayed here to advantage, and a thin sheet of talc could be stretched
-over all. Glass would be too heavy, and the talc would protect the fans,
-&c., from dust, and yet be sufficiently transparent.
-
-The shelf for china is part of the seat: this is of wood, either
-enamelled or polished, and should be carefully arranged; the tall jar
-containing grasses at the end of the shelf in the sketch is really in
-the corner in my room, and fills up the space between the curtain and
-the wall, and in the opposite corner from the frieze-rail hangs one of
-Benson’s admirable copper lamps with a copper shade; this throws the
-light down on the seat, and enables one to read there, should one wish
-to do so, the cushioned corner below the lamp being perhaps the most
-comfortable spot in the whole seat. Just on the other side of the arms,
-and below the top of them, I had small tea-cup shelves put; they shut
-down completely, and when not in use are scarcely visible, but they make
-a great deal of difference to one’s comfort; for one can rest one’s cup
-there easily, and in consequence this corner makes a favourite spot
-during the ceremony of afternoon tea, which we always hold in the
-morning-room, our present drawing-room being only used when lighted up,
-as it is dark and depressing, because of the numerous trees by which we
-are surrounded, and that make it unbearable until the lamps are lighted
-and the yellow and white decoration stands out in the admirable manner
-in which these two colours always do when once artificial light falls
-upon them.
-
-The big pillows are in yellow, deep-red, and electric turquoise, and
-were bought at Maple’s for 16_s._ 11_d._ each; but those who really
-possess numerous pillows, soft and comfortable enough to lean against,
-but hideous to contemplate, will be glad to hear that Maple sells these
-frilled silk covers ready to slip on, which would transform in a moment
-the most frightful pillow ever presented to an unfortunate bride, who
-yet dare not do away with the kind gift of a relative who may be has not
-gone with the times or holds the stern opinion that a gift one makes
-oneself is worth any amount of presents bought in a shop: so it is, if
-the work be present day work, and really artistic; but the beaded
-cushion or (the worst development of all) that covered with crazy
-patchwork, still exists unfortunately, and may exist, blamelessly and
-usefully, if slipped into one of these covers, which can be whipped off
-in a moment, should the donor appear unexpectedly, or be even pointed
-out as our pious endeavour to preserve the ‘beautiful’ work by a cover
-one does not mind if one spoils: an excellently plausible excuse that
-spares the feelings of the maker and our own sensitive optics at the
-same time.
-
-The curtain on my seat is hanging on a brass rod, and is made from a
-remarkably beautiful pattern of yellow and brown stamped velveteen known
-as the Graham velveteen, and sold by Graham & Biddle; both sides of the
-curtain are alike, as I have doubled the material, and I am very fond
-of this special bit of colour and design; but if the velveteen is
-objected to, the curtain can be made from the soft artistic silk
-Shoolbred sells at 2_s._ a yard; this must be double too, and put on
-very full, or else it will soon become skimpy and flabby. The table at
-the end of the seat has a loose cover of dark-red Bokhara plush, a
-capital species of ribbed plush edged with ball fringe; this costs 6_s._
-11½_d._ a yard from Colbourne, and it takes a yard and a quarter to make
-the square, which is necessary for one of these cloths; a big yellow pot
-holding a palm stands on the table, the palm giving place whenever
-possible to a flowering plant, a great white azalea, and a big white
-rose tree, and also an orange tree with flowers and fruit, and a
-flowering daphne having all appeared there to the greatest possible
-advantage. Beyond the curtain, at the extreme end of the seat, I hang a
-long Japanese bamboo, and have flowers here whenever possible. These
-bamboos are most decorative, and look nice with comparatively few
-flowers in them.
-
-On the other side of the seat, at the end, a palm stands on the low,
-square, velvet-covered stools I prefer to anything else for pot stands;
-and at the extreme end I always have one of Mrs. M‘Clelland’s admirable
-newspaper and magazine stands; these are the right height for use and
-stand on two crossed legs; one side takes papers and the other
-magazines; a paper-knife is slipped into a bracket at the side, and
-altogether the stand is a wonderful comfort, and above all makes an
-excellent present for a man--that most difficult of all creatures to
-give a present to, unless one half ruin oneself in order to make him an
-offering.
-
-The walls of this special room are covered with Mr. Smee’s admirable
-blue paper at 4_s._ the piece, all the paint is Aspinall’s
-electric-turquoise enamel, the frieze is plain gold Japanese leather
-paper, and the ceiling is in squares; the moulding that forms each
-square is coloured cream, and the squares themselves are filled in with
-a well-designed yellow and white ceiling paper from Mr. Smee’s at 3_s._
-a piece; the floor is covered with yellow and white matting, and has
-several rugs lying about, and the curtains are Louis XVI. tapestry, in
-yellow and white, edged with the usual ball fringe--the smaller windows
-having this only, the larger one having ‘guipure vitrage’ on it as well.
-The frieze has been embellished most successfully in three or four
-places with great branches of Japanese-looking japonica in the natural
-colours; and this is an immense improvement, as one requires touches of
-red undoubtedly about the room. The branches do not go all round the
-room in the orthodox manner, but are scattered in three or four places,
-and are the work of an artist. A good effect can be obtained by merely
-outlining with a careful brush the patterns that are on all Japanese
-leather papers with a little ‘Scinde red.’ Of course this must not be
-done all over the frieze, but simply here and there, and should be
-executed with taste, and a great amount of common sense as well.
-
-Before I say any more about this room, or about the other corner which
-has been arranged for winter use, I want to draw the attention of my
-readers especially to the windows. My plan of doing away with blinds was
-illustrated as regards a bow window, and the tiny squares of the manor
-house windows before, but no one has ever seemed able to grasp the
-manner in which an ordinary flat window or a French window can be
-managed. This window is the ordinary flat window; and can anything be
-simpler than the white curtains of ‘guipure vitrage’ stretched on two
-slight rods fastened on the window _frame, not on the sash_? These
-curtains remain in place, whether the window is open or shut, and, in
-consequence, were they used in a bedroom, one could dress comfortably
-with the window open, the curtains remaining in place and serving as a
-blind. With the ordinary short blind, which vulgarises any house, and to
-which English house-mothers cling with a devotion worthy of a better
-cause, one must keep the windows closed during the process of dressing,
-as the blind goes up with the window, and leaves the room exposed to the
-glances of anyone who may be passing by. The thicker curtains hang from
-a separate brass rod, which is rather larger than those used for the
-muslin. These curtains are attached to rings which allow them to be
-drawn easily along the rods at night, and when the sun shines too warmly
-and brightly, and, therefore, no hideously ugly blinds are required; for
-even ladies whose dubious complexions forbid the free entrance of the
-blessed sun can make their rooms as dark as they like by drawing these
-curtains, which can be lined with a thick sateen, and should be edged
-with a ball fringe, to break the hard line which always spoils the look
-of any curtain when left untrimmed. ‘Guipure vitrage,’ which is to be
-had from Wallace, from 10¾_d._ a yard, makes admirable under curtains.
-Of course it is much dearer than Kay’s butter muslin, or his
-easily-draped Indian muslin at 2¾_d._ a yard. But then these muslins
-require making up, and must be edged with softly falling frills, which
-should be from 3 to 5 inches in width, according to the size of the
-window. These frills are put on without any heading, and fall in a sort
-of cascade. The frilled muslins sold now by the yard at any big shop are
-not nearly so satisfactory, as the frills are goffered, and are very
-stiff. Making the frilled curtains is a serious consideration: they must
-be done by hand, as the muslin will not stand the machine, and the
-hemming required is rather hard work, and therefore ‘guipure vitrage,’
-despite its price, should recommend itself to those who are not given to
-sewing. It merely requires hemming top and bottom, and the rods pass
-through these hems, which should be loose enough to allow of the curtain
-being moved to cover the window entirely, should this be necessary, or
-to part in the centre, so that any view there may be need not be
-obscured.
-
-In the ordinary London house, where all sorts of endeavours are made to
-completely hide the doings of the inhabitants of the rooms from the
-passers-by, these curtains, especially in the Indian muslin from Kay’s,
-are invaluable. No one can see in, and all can see out, while further
-protection could be obtained by flower boxes along the window-ledges in
-the summer, and put inside the rooms in the winter, if desired. A couple
-of iron brackets could be put out, one each side of the window,
-Aspinalled to match the rest of the paint, and on this the box could
-rest, full of flowering plants, when the weather outside would be too
-cold for them to live and flourish. The whole of the house should be
-done alike with the curtains, of which a double set should be made. The
-‘guipure vitrage’ must not be very much starched, and it must be
-carefully pulled out and stretched before it is quite dry, or else it
-will seem to have shrunk; but with care and proper washing these
-curtains would last three or four years, and, as there is no real
-trouble in making, should soon be the favourite material for these
-short curtains. The cost would be about 4_s._ a window, so that it would
-be easy for anyone to see what their house would cost them. Naturally
-the other muslin would come only to about 1_s._ a window; in this case
-the sewing must be done by the owner of the house or her maids.
-
-I think from this sketch anyone can see how the ordinary blindless
-window is managed; while the way to arrange a French window is shown in
-the frontispiece so plainly that no further description can possibly be
-needed.
-
-And now we come to the winter corner, the sketch of which requires very
-little comment from me, as I think it speaks for itself; but my readers
-may be interested to know that the sofa illustrated here began life as a
-wretched stiff sofa with a scroll end, and no side whatever, and was
-bought very cheaply of a country tradesman. When I wanted to make a
-comfortable seat by the fire, I got another local genius to put the
-scroll end upright, and to put on the side. This transformed the seat at
-once, and made a most comfortable lounge, more especially as I had the
-legs cut down, until it is only fourteen inches high, the seat being
-about twenty-four inches wide. This is a seat _pur et simple_; but by
-putting a couple of pillows on the end of the sofa nearest the wall and
-stuffing them comfortably down there, one makes an excellent rest for
-one’s head, and can lie there in warmth and peace. This corner, by the
-way, is a special favourite of Max, the tabby cat, who much resents
-being moved therefrom, and retreats in great dudgeon to a chair from
-Liberty, which stands the other side of the fireplace, which is only
-just indicated in the sketch, and which is a charming but simple design,
-from Shuffery in Welbeck Street.
-
-Behind the sofa stands the corner cabinet made for me by Mr. Smee, and
-which is just what such a cabinet ought to be. I have seen a corner
-cabinet which looked as if its middle had suddenly collapsed, the two
-sides going into a miserable point, which was as ugly as it was
-unsatisfactory, and I could not think what was the matter with it, until
-I discovered that the point ought to have been behind, and that the
-front should be comparatively straight, as in our illustration. This
-cabinet is enamelled electric
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 8.--A Winter Corner.]
-
-turquoise, and has brass handles to the drawers and cupboard, which are
-made for use, and hold an immense variety of things. The drawers are
-divided in half inside, which is a great convenience, as it enables one
-to keep papers and properties of all sorts and conditions separate and
-distinct; while the cupboard also has a shelf in it, and is the whole
-length and width of the bottom part, thus holding a good deal. The two
-little velveteen curtains are to break the monotony which would have
-been caused had the shelves been left open; and the top and shelves
-generally hold any quantity of china--the dull yellow and blue jars one
-buys at Gorringe’s being especially suitable for this room; as is the
-deep red Kaga and Imari ware imported in such quantities by Shoolbred,
-Liberty, and Whiteley, and indeed by almost every second shop nowadays.
-
-The table shown in this illustration is one that is remarkably useful by
-reason of its second tray. My own table is covered in dull yellow
-corduroy velveteen, edged with a ball fringe; but if room were a great
-object, and there were much to store away, a loose table-cloth, in serge
-or Bokhara plush, could be thrown over it to conceal anything that was
-hidden thereunder. I am not fond of these makeshifts myself; but in a
-small room, where every single inch is of consequence, work that would
-be perhaps unsightly to leave about can be neatly folded and put on this
-tray; and another place to put away could be afforded, if we replaced my
-fireside sofa (which Wallace will supply at 5_l._ 15_s._ 6_d._ complete)
-by a sofa I saw at Hampton’s just lately. This is an improvement on the
-very useful box-ottomans I advocate in many bedrooms, and is much like a
-sofa with a tolerably high side and two ends; the top of the sofa lifts
-up, and discloses a good deep box, which would hold an immense quantity
-of things; while the whole affair does not look like a box-ottoman, but
-resembles a very comfortable and pretty sofa; this costs about 7_l._
-17_s._ 6_d._, and would be of immense use in a room where one had a
-great deal to put away, and very few convenient places to store one’s
-property in. This would stand where my sofa is in the sketch, or could
-be put in a recess one side of the fire; it would look well in either
-situation. I think this corner, too, gives some idea of how pictures can
-be hung about in an informal manner; although in every case these are
-represented in the sketch as being much higher than they really are;
-there is no formal arrangement, yet all seems to fall into place without
-trouble, and the whole effect is very good; flowers and plants are again
-to be found here, and indeed I cannot say too much about the
-desirability of filling our rooms with both plants and flowers. No house
-can be pretty without a great many of both; and no one who has not seen
-the immense difference plenty of plants make can have any idea of the
-satisfactory effect of these great adjuncts to the real decoration of a
-house. They cost money, but not one quarter of what they used to; and
-even in the depth of winter in London one can buy heaps of narcissus and
-jonquils absurdly cheaply, a shillingsworth making an appreciable
-difference in any house!
-
-Beyond the chair just indicated in the sketch is a species of square
-arch, and beyond that a square end to the room itself; I did not at
-first see what I could do with this most ugly part of an ugly room, but
-at last the brilliant idea struck me, of which I give a tiny sketch
-here. I had a series of brackets put up the arch to hold china; the back
-of these brackets and the panelling above the arch itself was filled in
-with red and gold Japanese leather paper, and on each bracket I placed
-one of Elliott’s pots; the sides of the brackets were painted by Mr.
-M‘Clelland’s clever brush with red, yellow, and pink roses, and I at
-once found myself in possession of a charming object for contemplation,
-instead of a yawning gap, preposterous in structure and hideous to look
-at. By the left-hand side of the arch I place a beautifully embroidered
-Japanese silk screen in the most delicate shade of pink; I can dwell
-lovingly on this, as it was not my own selection, but was a Christmas
-present from someone who knew and studied my tastes, and it gives just
-the right finish to that corner; behind the last bracket stands a palm
-in an art-pot, and another little table with a blue cloth is in front of
-the screen, and completes that side of the room.
-
-Below the last window is the long low book-case mentioned before; it is
-only about three feet high, and is enamelled electric turquoise like the
-rest of the room, and each shelf is edged with a frill of yellow printed
-linen; the top of these shelves makes an excellent rest for
-photographs, china, and plants, and is thus finished; had the book-case
-not been placed there I cannot think what I should have done, as no one
-can sit in that part of the room, which really is a tiny ante-room, or
-entrance merely, to what is not at the best a large room, but which
-would have been all the better had the eccentric designer done away with
-his arch and put all the space at his command into the room itself; but
-he did not, and so I have made the best use I can of the room as it is,
-though I really believe in so doing I have shortened my life
-perceptibly!
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 9.--Arches for a Double Room.]
-
-At the end of the room, opposite the window under which the book-case
-is, is a door--and such a door! when we came it was grained maple, and
-was the centre of a wooden partition, above which was a neat fanlight of
-starred glass. I shall never forget it--never! I have now put on each
-side of the door a curtain of Wallace’s ‘daisy brocade,’ and another on
-the door itself on one of Maple’s rods, which open and shut with the
-door. Above this there is a shelf to hold china, and the glass is
-replaced by leaded squares of cathedral glass. I mention all these
-details to show what a difference a small amount of common sense, a
-little woodwork, and a little money will make; indeed, in these days of
-artistic merit, when upholsterers are educated gentlemen, and the shop
-is no longer a badge of infamy, I think no one who is not utterly
-obstinate and tasteless need have an ugly house; though I must confess I
-still have to grieve over the many absolutely hideous houses in the land
-arranged by those who are not tasteless--I wish they were: then one
-could do something with them--but are so permeated by vile and vulgar
-tastes of their own that they will not be taught, and continue to offend
-our eyes with their belongings, regardless of the fact that in these
-days it is really easier to have pretty things than to have ugly ones.
-Before I pass on to other nooks and corners which can be made, I should
-like once more to impress upon my readers that for a morning-room
-nothing is so absolutely successful as regards decoration as this
-arrangement of greeny-blue, yellow and red. I have sat in it and
-contemplated it for just seven years, and I am more and more convinced
-that nothing else is so entirely satisfactory in every way; naturally we
-need not adhere to Mr. Smee’s 4_s._ paper, or there would be too much
-monotony about it. Marigold 81 at 5_s._ 6_d._ from Morris is just as
-beautiful, while Pither’s less expensive ‘blossom,’ ‘berry,’ and
-bay-tree papers, which average 1_s._ 6_d._ a piece, can all be used
-according to the size and shape of the room. And once more I should say
-most emphatically, Study your room; a dark dull room could not take this
-scheme of blue, and were such a chamber taken for the morning-room,
-which I hope and trust would not be the case, I should advocate another
-scheme of colouring altogether, and would suggest either a really
-beautiful pink and green floral paper called ‘Amaryllis’ at 10_s._ 6_d._
-the piece from Wallace, or else Haines’s ‘rose’ paper at 3_s._ 9_d._
-With either, I should suggest warm ivory paint, a pink and cream ceiling
-paper, and either cretonne curtains, in a cretonne to harmonise with the
-paper, or else of soft green Liberty silk, the greens procurable there
-being the greens to harmonise with pink, Liberty pink and green
-commingled making a most charming room, but one that should not be
-attempted cheaply. Green and pink must be in expensive materials to
-procure the proper shades, a common green and an inferior pink being
-about the most terrible colours one can have, although a common blue
-runs it very hard, as sporting individuals would say. A green
-carpet--either the green ‘lily,’ that always satisfactory, inexpensive
-carpet from Wallace, sold in blues, greens, and reds, at 3_s._ 11_d._ a
-yard, wide width, or else a dull green pile carpet from Pither’s--should
-be used in a room decorated in this manner, but the green must be an
-artistic green, and have no fidgety pattern to distract the eye or
-attract attention to what we should never see, unless our attention were
-really called to it.
-
-If the morning-room were in the country, were a very hot room, and only
-used in summer, it would look very charming in sea-green and white.
-Morris has a beautiful sea-green paper at 3_s._ 6_d._; and Chappell &
-Payne have a very pretty sea-green and white-chrysanthemum paper at a
-little under 2_s._, the same colour, which could be used were Morris too
-expensive. Either sea-green or ivory paint could be used. There could be
-a hand-painted frieze on sea-green ‘tectorium,’ of white lilac and the
-graceful white broom and their own foliage, and a pale sea-green
-cretonne should be chosen, with bunches of white lilac on. The floor
-should be covered with sea-green matting and rugs, which would bring a
-little colour into the room, and the furniture should be sea-green
-enamel upholstered in the cretonne. In the pink and green room, by the
-way, the furniture should be malachite green-stained, to be had from
-Wallace, and the muslin next the window should be Helbronner’s pink and
-green lily muslin. This is expensive, but it is by far the prettiest
-muslin for such a room that could be found. I think low basket-chairs
-are still the best chairs for a morning-room, but, if they can be
-afforded, one or two higher chairs should be provided. I find
-Shoolbred’s corduroy velveteen the best thing possible to cover
-basket-chairs with, unless one has a maid who is clever enough to unpick
-the cretonne covers and wash and replace them; then nothing is as nice
-as cretonne, and this same material, in some appropriate shade, would do
-for the
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 10.--Simple Mantel Draping.]
-
-larger chairs. The cost of these must depend on the money we have to
-spend, but a good chair with comfortable springs costs from 5_l._ to
-8_l._, and, if the money can be managed, I should advise as much as this
-being given; it will be cheaper in the long run. I think the most
-difficult matter of all to explain by mere words is the arrangement of a
-fireplace which is already supplied with one of the ‘handsome statuary’
-marble mantel-pieces, which are so much admired by builders and folks
-who cannot help being impressed with the idea that marble mantel-pieces
-and a claim to gentility go hand in hand, and I am always imploring
-people not to drape these imitations with elaborate flutings and
-flounces of muslin and general awfulnesses. If the morning-room--or,
-indeed, any other room--is burdened with one of these mantel-pieces,
-paint it boldly with Aspinall (the paint can always be removed either
-with Carson’s ‘detergent’ or else by the ‘Eclipse Paint Remover’). See
-that it matches the rest of the paint in the room; then place along it
-the simple drapery I have illustrated here. This is quite sufficient. It
-hides a good piece of the underpart of the structure, and as it can be
-shaken daily does not collect dust and dirt, as must all more elaborate
-arrangements inevitably. This drapery is made by taking a straight piece
-of material about twenty-four inches wider and twenty-four inches longer
-than the mantel-piece itself; the sides and front are edged with a cord
-and a tassel, or else a few pompons are hung at the front corners; the
-drapery is placed straight along the mantel-piece, the uncorded edge
-against the wall, and drapes itself, being kept stationary by the
-ornaments and photographs, &c., we usually put on the shelf. Bokhara
-plush makes the best drapery, but if this is used three or four should
-be made at the same time, or else the plush cuts to waste. Of course the
-rest can be used in other ways; it makes admirable flat bell-pulls for
-bedrooms, with a brass ring at the end, and could be used as toilet
-covers; but corduroy velveteen is nearly as pretty, and, being the exact
-width required, would be the best material to use; it is only 2_s._
-9_d._ a yard. Whatever is used, the corners of the drapery should be
-lined with satin, or sateen, either in a paler colour than the drapery
-itself or in some contrast, as the corners show, and would not look nice
-at all unless they were lined. This completes the drapery, which is the
-only one that should be allowed, as it is simple and cleanly, which is
-more than can be said for any other arrangement. The pattern was given
-me by a friend, who bought it of a first-rate upholsterer in Paris, and
-is so simple, I cannot think why no one ever thought of it before in
-England.
-
-Before we pass away from speaking of the fireplace, I should like to
-describe one or two ways of filling up the recesses generally found in
-present-day houses. In a dining-room I should always place the buffets
-there which I recommend in place of sideboards; then, in the
-drawing-room or morning-room, Giles’s cosy corner, illustrated in every
-advertising paper, is to be recommended for one side; this seat goes
-straight along the recess, and has an end that returns along the end of
-the recess, giving a corner in which to sit. As a rule these seats will
-take two people comfortably. Above the padded back is the same straight
-piece illustrated in the ‘summer corner,’ surmounted by the
-bracket-rail; but if people do not wish to go to the expense of an
-elaborately upholstered and spring seat, they can easily make a seat for
-themselves by having a wooden frame on four legs made to fit the recess;
-the top should be covered with sacking or webbing, along the front of
-the seat should be nailed a full flounce of corduroy velveteen lined
-with holland; a square cushion, made from wool and hair mixed, should be
-placed along the top of the sacking, and the back should be formed by
-hanging two square cushions on the wall so arranged that one dovetails
-with the other in the corner; these should be high enough to allow of
-using a finish of Giles’s bracket-rail for china, which should be put
-along the top of the cushions and keep them in their places, and a lamp
-can be hung over the seat, either from a hook placed in the ceiling
-itself or hanging out from the frieze-rail from one of the brass arms
-sold by Benson, on purpose for holding lamps, for about 10_s._ 6_d._
-each, that would give light to anyone who sat to read by the fire in a
-room in which gas was banished, as I trust it may soon be banished from
-every sitting-room in the land, either in favour of the beautiful
-electric light, for the universal use of which I pine, or in favour of
-lamps, which may give trouble, but save that trouble over and over again
-in the manner in which things remain clean and good that would have
-become both spoiled and soiled had gas been used where they were.
-Another recess can be filled by using Mrs. Talbot Coke’s design,
-published in the ‘Queen,’ and which I have her permission for giving
-here, and which is not only very pretty but decidedly useful. It could
-be made by any carpenter first, as three simple shelves; the top and
-bottom shelves should be of equal depth, the centre one should be rather
-narrower, and the whole arrangement should not be above the line of the
-mantelshelf; along the edge of the shelves should be glued strips of
-Japanese leather paper, and the top shelf should be divided as in the
-sketch, the arches being either simple wooden arches cut out of thin
-wood, or else of the Moorish fretwork sold by Hindley & Barker; the
-bottom shelf should have three separate small curtains along it, the
-division between being strips of wood decorated with Japanese leather.
-Of course this arrangement should be enamelled to match the rest of the
-paint, and the silk which is used for the curtains should be a contrast;
-and great care must be taken to employ someone who does not make his
-woodwork with a heavy hand (as some cooks make pastry), for I once saw
-one of these recess arrangements carried out in such a way that the
-whole effect was dreadful, being entirely marred by the thick wood and
-heavy arches of which it was composed. Any china can be arranged
-therein, for the top makes an admirable resting-place for odds and ends
-and one’s favourite photographs or books. An armchair should be put by
-the side, and this will suggest at once a comfortable reading-nook for
-a winter’s afternoon without any more elaborate arrangement.
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 11.--A Recess.]
-
-I am so often asked to advise people, on paper, how to arrange their
-furniture, and despite my strenuous refusals to contemplate such a
-waste of time, am so constantly importuned to do so, that I venture to
-pause here, and give one or two hints on the subject of the general
-arrangement of sitting-rooms; as although it is naturally quite
-impossible to tell positively where to place a chair I have never seen
-in a house I have never entered, it is possible, I trust, to give
-general hints which shall enable my readers to make their sitting-rooms
-rather more comfortable than most of them seem able to do at present.
-
-For example, no matter how small a room is, an enormous amount of
-comfort and a certain idea of unlimited space is always given by placing
-a screen judiciously by the door; this prevents the whole of the room
-being on view at once, and gives an opportunity of placing a chair or
-two behind it, which we could not do were the door to open into the
-passage and leave a yawning gulf behind one’s back, or were it to open
-into the room and so leave an exposed place at once where no one could
-sit, because they would feel they were sitting in the passage; and,
-again, no chairs should be isolated or put out of humanity’s reach; if
-they are, they will surely be sought out at once by some shy caller or
-visitor, and we shall have to spend our time endeavouring to draw him or
-her into the circle. By this I do not mean that our chairs should be
-arranged as if we were expecting the assembling together of a
-prayer-meeting, but that they should be within reach both of ourselves,
-the fire in winter, the window in summer, and of the light always; then
-shall we be quite sure our guests are happy, or, if they are not, that
-it is their own fault and not ours.
-
-There should be a place for each member of the household in any room,
-and attention to these details even causes the furniture to in some
-measure arrange itself and be so placed that it shows to the greatest
-advantage, and can at the same time be used by the owners in the best
-manner possible as well. If more lamps are required in a room than the
-two or three which are usually quite sufficient for the purposes of
-general lighting, those who require special lamps should be encouraged
-to look after them themselves, especially in the case of the daughters
-of the house, on whom, in most middle-class families, should devolve all
-the flower-tending and finer parts of housekeeping, of which, by that
-time, the house-mother will no doubt be weary, and will only be too
-glad to hand over to those who are full of energy as well as of the very
-newest ideas on the subject of how to arrange the flowers, on which so
-much of the appearance of the house depends.
-
-I like the sofa placed out straight from the side of the fire, as in
-Fig. 7, or straight along in front of it, about seven or eight feet from
-the front of the fire; and in some rooms the piano, that most
-undecorative piece of furniture, can be put with one end straight
-against the wall in the recess, the other straight out into the room
-with the sofa against the back, or else a comfortable chair, as
-represented in Fig. 11, which will, I hope, give my readers a good idea
-how to manage a piano, which can be placed either out from the wall in
-the recess, across one corner of a room, or out in the room itself, and,
-indeed, in any way that will not necessitate its back against the wall,
-a position that is fatal to anything like music, for it is terrible to
-play with one’s back to one’s audience, or to sing straight into the
-wall, which throws one’s voice straight back at one all the time one is
-singing. As will be seen from the sketch, the baize at the back of the
-piano is first covered with a good Japanese leather paper, and then soft
-silk is carelessly draped over it, finishing with a long piece at one
-side; the top of the piano is first covered with the soft silk, which is
-fastened by tiny tacks inside the lid to keep it in its place, and then
-by a piece of Japanese embroidery; at one end is a tall palm-stand from
-Liberty with a big brass pot holding a palm; at the back, where there is
-no distinct drapery, stands a small screen, and at the other end is a
-Cairene inlaid stool holding a jar of grasses; but I should prefer
-myself a much taller arrangement, as the end of the piano is not at all
-a pretty object. The silk which is found in the front of most pianos
-should be replaced by Japanese leather paper. If draping is objected
-to--and it should never be attempted by anyone who cannot pay some
-artist in drapery to manage it for them, unless, of course, their own
-fingers are clever at it--a very good substitute is formed by using one
-of Shoolbred’s piano-rods, from which can be hung a simple full curtain
-of some good and beautiful brocade, such as is their Nismes brocade. The
-top should always be arranged as shown in the sketch, for though these
-things may deaden the sound,
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 12.--A Draped Piano.]
-
-and a good musician would, no doubt, rage about them, they can be
-removed in three seconds to a side table should music be the order of
-the day, and could be replaced at once without giving anyone any undue
-amount of trouble. I have seen a writing-table in a very small room
-placed against the piano, the back of which, having been, first covered
-with brocade, served as a species of ‘hold-all’ for all that is usually
-found on a writing-table; but I cannot seriously recommend this, as it
-is certainly incongruous to find cards of invitation, balls of string,
-date-cases and paper-knives, and general _débris_, fastened about a
-piano, which must, I am sure, resent tremendously this extraordinary
-manner of embellishing it. I have never seen a piano arranged in a
-better manner than the one illustrated here by the kind permission of my
-successor at my dear Shortlands house, in whose hands the traditions of
-the house are well kept up, and who has filled my shoes there much
-better than I filled them myself; one of her improvements being the
-drapery over the conservatory door, which I have illustrated here, so
-many people having doors like that one and being quite unable to manage
-them properly.
-
-The door is composed, as are all similar doors, of glass at the top and
-two small panels in the wooden frame below; these are filled in with
-Japanese leather paper, a brass handle and one finger-plate are added
-(only one finger-plate should ever be put on a door, and that should be
-put above the door-handle); and on the top of the glass is placed one of
-the pretty bead blinds; this is a graduated one, and is just indicated
-in the sketch. On the left-hand side, nearest the fire, hangs a straight
-full piece of drapery, edged all round with ball fringe, while on the
-other side is draped a curtain with a drawing string, which lets down in
-a moment to hide the door entirely at night. A further idea of how this
-room is now arranged is given by the tall palm-stand, and the end of a
-deep, low, beautiful sofa from Liberty, which I never see without
-breaking the tenth commandment. The sides and back are quite straight,
-the seat is very broad and is heaped with the frilled pillows, which are
-as popular as they are useful and pretty; the sofa is enamelled white,
-and is covered with a beautiful yellow brocade, the curtains beyond, by
-the window, being of a Morris cretonne, which resembles both in colour
-and design the brown and yellow velveteen from Graham & Biddle mentioned
-before. This design makes admirable portières,
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 13.--Conservatory Door.]
-
-and is always a pleasure to look at. The tambourine is hung on the dado,
-which is of a very good yellow and white matting and is headed with
-bamboo, and despite the favour into which friezes have grown of late
-years, a favour they quite deserve I must say, I still cling to the dado
-in the dining-and drawing-rooms; in the former they give solidity to the
-wall, which they always keep tidy; in the latter they serve admirably as
-places on which to hang our favourite nicknacks and those small sketches
-and pictures which we prize, and which would almost be lost to sight
-were we to hang them above the height of the dado-rail, where we could
-not have them near us; so I strongly advise a dado whenever we can have
-one in the drawing-room, and I have been lately confirmed in my opinion
-by seeing two newly decorated rooms where the dado was useless as far as
-regarded the hanging of pet possessions, but it was so decorative that I
-am forced to pause here for a moment and give a description of them
-both.
-
-In room No. 1 the wall-paper was my favourite yellow and white from Mr.
-Smee; all the paint was a deep ivory, and the dado-rail was ivory too;
-for about a yard below the rail the wall was coloured primrose, and over
-this was hung a full soft curtain of yellow silk closely plaited on tiny
-rings, which again were hung on nails below the rail, which curved out
-over them and hid them completely; this curtain could be taken down and
-shaken and replaced every week if desired, while, of course, during
-absence from town the silk would be folded up and put away. The loose
-curtain looks charming round the room, which is a very tiny one, and has
-been admirably arranged by Mr. Smee with a fitted seat at one side of
-the wall, with side curtains to give an idea of privacy, and above that
-is a long bookcase; the curtains are of the beautiful larkspur cretonne
-which has yellow and blue in it; the carpet is a deep red, to give more
-colour, as the room is to be used for day, and therefore requires to be
-made to look warmer than could be done were only blue and yellow used;
-and the furniture is all ivory, and upholstered in different brocades;
-albeit these are also covered with loose cretonne covers in the larkspur
-cretonne, which is 2_s._ 10_d._ a yard, but really deserves to cost as
-much, it is so pretty, although I do own it is rather expensive for a
-mere cretonne.
-
-The other room in which I saw the curtain dado was much more sombre in
-design and colouring; and I do not for one moment recommend such a
-distressingly dark arrangement, although I do most heartily commend the
-clever designer of this original room. The dado was not the straight
-curtain which goes all round the room, which I have been writing about,
-but it started from the window at one end five feet above the floor;
-this continued for halfway along the wall, where it suddenly lowered to
-within three feet of the floor, leaving a piece of wall about three feet
-across and two deep; after running along for three feet at this lowered
-angle, it rose again and continued along the wall to the door. Just on
-the other side of the door the curtain began at three feet from the
-wainscoting, and continued for about five feet, when it rose once more,
-and continued at the first altitude for the rest of the wall, which
-ended in a corner; the curtain lowered from that to the fireplace,
-which, with its overmantel, filled one square, the dado beginning once
-more at the five-foot altitude after the fireplace was passed. The
-curtain was moss-green serge, and was hung from a pole painted
-moss-green, with brass rings, which were _en évidence_; and above the
-curtain the wall was covered with a very good Japanese leather paper;
-the squares made by the dropping of the curtain being filled in one
-place by a choice picture, in another by an admirably designed bracket
-for books and china, and in another by a square beaten brass shield
-holding an elaborate and beautiful clustered candelabra; and had the
-drapery been of some bright colour, or some really decorative brocade,
-the house would have been as charming as it was original, but, arranged
-with the dark Japanese paper and the much darker drapery, the whole
-effect was so depressing, that I felt, were I obliged to remain in that
-house, I should have committed suicide, for my spirits would never have
-borne up under it. But it was a dark day, as the owner pointed out, when
-I told him, at his request, what I thought of it all. But I maintain
-that as most of our English days, and more especially our London days,
-are extremely dark, we are bound to try and make our rooms so beautiful
-that they, at least, shall not in any way add to the depression that is
-inseparable from sage-green walls and darkness generally. We cannot have
-too much cheerfulness I maintain; it is absolutely impossible to be too
-happy and too lively; and as our climate does not help us to be either
-the one or the other, we must endeavour to simulate as much sunshine as
-we can, by making our rooms cheerful and as sunny-looking as we have the
-power to do. I never go into my own rooms, or the many rooms I have
-helped to decorate, without feeling that, whatever else may be their
-faults, they certainly cannot be called gloomy. They are all bright and
-cheerful; and I defy anyone to be miserable long, unless, of course,
-some real misfortune has occurred, in one of my rooms in the green serge
-abode. A misfitting dress would be as dreadful a sorrow as a broken arm,
-a disappointment about an entertainment as serious as an illness or loss
-of money! Flowers again should never be forgotten, or allowed to become
-dead and shabby; and, above all, each room we occupy should be
-scrupulously clean, and without being aggressively neat should be
-absolutely tidy. Directly a thing becomes dirty or untidy it should be
-cleaned or replaced by something else. We should never overlook the
-soiling of the paint, a crushed antimacassar, a dirty ceiling, and,
-above all, we should remember that no amount of artistic knowledge and
-careful decoration can make up for grimy tablecloths and crooked vases,
-heaped-up papers and crushed chairbacks and damaged cretonnes. A room
-must not only be made nice, it must be kept so; and if we cannot afford
-good servants, who will respect our belongings, we must do the finer
-parts of the housework ourselves. It is no disgrace to wash fine china,
-and turn and fold our tablecloths and draperies; it is disgraceful to
-have dirty ornaments, and to be untidy and careless about our rooms.
-
-Indeed, if any of us really want our rooms to look nice we should, no
-matter how good are our servants, go carefully over them ourselves the
-moment the housemaid’s work is done, and see that all is as we like it.
-Servants do not place furniture, they _ram_ it into its place. The
-tablecloths are usually put on wrong side out, and, somehow or other,
-all seems to require the lady’s touch, which cannot be explained, but is
-certainly observable in any house where the mistress is untidy, and so
-naturally excuses untidiness in those around her.
-
-I maintain that tidiness is quite a gift, and that she who is possessed
-of that admirable quality makes things go twice as far as does she who
-never attempts to put a thing straight, who overlooks dust and dirt,
-and without knowing precisely how it is managed, gets her house into
-endless muddle and never allows it to look nice, albeit she spends three
-times as much over it as does she who is gifted with tidiness and a
-‘straight eye.’ Therefore, if a house is to be properly kept, the moment
-a handle comes off a door, replace it; the instant a thing looks in the
-least degree dirty, have it washed or cleaned; let any carpet be mended
-before it goes into a hole; have black cleaned off any ceiling the
-moment it comes on it; and, above all, have the china clean and
-straight, and never overlook a rent or a dirty mark. If a house is kept
-nice the expenses are gradual; if all is neglected, the day of
-reckoning, which must come inevitably, will be such a heavy one that it
-will cost more than can be afforded by anyone who is not a millionaire;
-and it must come, for even if the house is our own, we must leave it
-some time, and our successor will not revere our memory, or remember us
-even with kindness, when he comes after us and repairs our ravages,
-which need have been unimportant had we punctually spent the yearly sum
-for repairs, &c., which should always be set aside by every careful
-householder.
-
-Every room in every house should be re-painted and papered at least
-every seventh year. Outside painting should be done every third year.
-The ceilings should be cleansed the moment they begin to look dirty; and
-we should never possess curtains or carpets which we cannot afford to
-replace somehow, or that will not readily wash and darn, and shake when
-they begin to show signs of having been used.
-
-A pretty house in good order will always let, should we desire to move;
-while a house in bad repair, and dirty, will never find a tenant, even
-if the landlord is a model one, and is willing to do all he can in the
-matter of new decorations, for somehow the squalor and grime that greet
-the eye first on entering never seem forgotten, and the house is passed
-over again and again, because it is impossible to believe a house in
-such a state can ever be made either healthy or beautiful.
-
-Before passing away from the three ordinary sitting-rooms in a house I
-should like just to speak of some of the new styles of decoration which
-have come to the fore lately, and which, I am glad to say, are all as
-cheerful as can be; not that the arrangements I have advocated have been
-relegated to that mysterious limbo dedicated to the fashions of last
-week. I have at last, I am delighted to be able to tell my readers,
-persuaded one or two of the more enterprising tradesmen to recognise the
-fact that a thing which was good and satisfactory last week is just as
-good and satisfactory this, and all the schemes of decoration I gave
-before are still to be had. But tastes change, and it is always well to
-be prepared with some new ideas, for rooms are all different, and what
-suits one room will not suit another.
-
-I still like the Japanese plain paper, red and gold leather dado, and
-red paint better than anything else for a dining-room, just as I cling
-to my blue morning-room; but as it would not do for us all to have this
-same decoration, I often advise an admirable tapestry paper, sold by
-Pither at 4_s._ 6_d._ a piece. This can either have ‘holly-green’ or
-‘imperial red’ paint, and a dado of Japanese leather paper, carefully
-chosen to harmonise with the paper, and which should have dull red and
-green and gold in its design, in very dark and unobtrusive shades. The
-ceiling paper should be pale yellow and white, the cornice cream. The
-doors should be panelled with the Japanese paper, and the curtains
-should either be of Colbourne’s Gobelin tapestry, at 6_s._ 11_d._ a
-yard, wide width, or else of self-coloured velveteen or serge, the
-colour of the paint (whichever is chosen), and the carpet should be an
-Oriental one if possible, with a dark red matting surround, or else of
-Wallace’s dark red ‘anemone,’ either in pile, Brussels, or
-Kidderminster, according to the price one wishes to give. This style of
-decoration would suit almost any furniture, though I should prefer the
-chairs to be covered with the Gobelin tapestry, which wears admirably,
-and which should always be used to re-cover old or shabby chairs,
-instead of a cheap leather. This covering could be done at home by an
-upholsteress if necessary; but I should advise the chairs being taken in
-hand by someone who can re-make the stuffing, if the expense can be
-afforded; if it cannot, the leather should be left as it is, all
-unevennesses and excrescences should be made even by judicious use of
-cotton-wool on the leather, then a tight cover of holland should be
-first put on, finally the cover of Gobelin tapestry, which should not
-be buttoned down, but should be stretched over and secured in its place
-with a gimp. Each chair would cost about 4_s._ or 5_s._, certainly not
-more.
-
-Where the old-furniture mania exists, an artistic dining-room can be
-made by using all nut-brown paint, Essex & Co.’s ‘Kenesaw’ design,
-stamped on real brown paper, a gold and brown leather dado, all yellow
-serge or velveteen curtains, and a golden-brown square carpet; and great
-care should be taken in both rooms to have the proper tablecloths, which
-Burnett makes from a design I gave him, and which have been largely used
-(and recommended by the several imitators of mine which have sprung up
-in divers papers since I first began my own notion of giving advice on
-the matter of house decoration and arrangement through the columns of a
-newspaper, now some six long years ago), and which are far better and
-more artistic than any others I have ever seen. The cloth is plain serge
-or felt, with a contrasting border united to the cloth itself by a gimp
-in which both colours are mingled, and finished off with a ball fringe.
-These cloths cost about 25_s._ for an ordinary table, and, as they will
-clean and dye, would last some years if properly looked after.
-
-I have already spoken about the morning-room decoration, and therefore I
-will only add a few words on the subject of the drawing-room, where the
-yellow-and-white scheme I so often recommend cannot be improved upon by
-those who can afford a reasonably expensive scheme of decoration. Of
-course the very greatest care must be taken to avoid anything like the
-gold-and-white paper of our ancestors, but this usually was accompanied
-by grained maple paint, which gave the last touch of horror to the
-scene, and therefore could never resemble the delicate ivory paint which
-Aspinall has made so easy for us; and I still admire Mr. Smee’s
-beautiful yellow-and-white paper at 11_s._ a piece better than anything
-else, and with this I advise a dado of Collinson & Lock’s ‘47’ cretonne.
-This should be secured with a screwed-on dado-rail, as then the cretonne
-could be removed to be washed; all the chairs should be put into frilled
-cretonne covers of the same cretonne, made like those in Fig. 13; the
-curtains should be of Pither’s printed linen at 1_s._ a yard, edged with
-ball
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 14.--Frilled Chairs and Sofa.]
-
-fringe at 6_d._ a yard, and the carpet should be dark blue pile, with a
-pattern that resembles tiny daisies powdered all over the surface in a
-paler shade of blue.
-
-Great exception has been taken to Pither’s printed linen because it
-fades. So it does; but then it is very cheap, it lasts two years in a
-sunny window, four in one that is not sunny, and, finally, dyes
-beautifully, fringe and all, coming back from the immortal Pullar as
-good as on the day it was first bought. I don’t think one can complain
-very much about a material which behaves like that, can one? But, of
-course, the printed linen as curtains can be replaced by silk, damask,
-or by ‘47’ cretonne itself, should the first-named material be objected
-to.
-
-No colour lights up so well as yellow--I am quite sure of that; and
-another decoration could be made from the yellow ‘Othmar’ paper sold by
-Essex, all cream paint, and a frieze of chrysanthemums, either painted
-by hand, or else of the excellent printed design sold by Haines at 3_s._
-6_d._ the yard. With this the carpet should be red, and the curtains
-should either be of a brocade which introduces the shades in the
-flowers, or else of a cretonne: all would depend on how much money there
-was to spend; but whether cretonne or brocade is used, it must match the
-frieze in some measure. Though great cornices and vast pier-glasses over
-mantel-pieces are entirely out of date, and will never, I trust, return
-into fashion, there are still some unfortunates who labour under these
-possessions, and who dare not rid themselves of them, much as they would
-like to do so, and who may be glad to learn how these horrors may in
-some measure be mitigated. All cornices become less repulsive directly
-they are Aspinalled ivory. I cannot tell why, but this seems to
-metamorphose them at once, and makes them quite ornamental, while the
-frame of the glass can be treated in the same manner, unless the frames
-are quite flat, in which case they should be covered with brocade, in
-the same manner in which the fashionable frames for photographs are now
-managed. In any case, all the heavy flourishes and ‘ornaments’ should be
-removed, and the glass made in every way as plain and unobtrusive as
-possible. Draping with muslin, or even with Liberty silk, is never
-successful, and only makes the object draped like one of the
-lodging-house possessions, carefully guarded in a similar manner by the
-careful landlady from the encroachments of the flies, and is therefore
-much to be avoided.
-
-Never, no matter what the time of year, put it out of your power to have
-a fire, should you so desire it. I still cling to the Japanese umbrella,
-and have never found a substitute for it which is so absolutely
-satisfactory. If its stick is properly cut it hides the wood and coal
-and grate entirely, and gives a bright spot of colour, and can be
-removed at once. A curtain hung straight down from a slight rod just
-under the top of the grate itself looks very neat, as does a series of
-rings to hold flower-pots, just brought out by Hamilton, of the Quentin
-Matsys Forge, York Street, Westminster. This holds twelve pots of
-flowers, and can be lifted out in a moment altogether should a fire be
-required, and would always look well put down in a corner of the room.
-One of the Guild brocade screens with miniatures answers well too, and
-Giles has invented from my description a fireplace cabinet, which, put
-under the wooden mantel-piece--which is _de rigueur_ in an artistic
-house--continues the mantel and overmantel decorations, and makes the
-whole appear like a good cabinet for books, china, and flowers. This can
-also be removed in a few minutes, and either hung on the wall or placed
-in a corner of the room.
-
-The perfect câche-feu has yet to be invented, but until some clever
-genius has done this, either of the above ideas answers quite well; but
-I do solemnly warn my readers against fashionable trellis-work with
-paper ivy and grapes wandering over it, fans outstretched in plush with
-senseless photographs let in--as if photographs could be in place on the
-hearth!--and all the thousand and one freaks of fashion that are brought
-out by those who ought to know better, and who have filled many houses
-to overflowing with terrible plush frames, soiled satin bags, useless
-odds and ends, and ghastly painted tables, brackets, and stands, which
-are costly to begin with, and so we do not like to dispose of them too
-hastily, and which should never be seen in the houses of those who
-really want to have an artistic and pretty home; with which solemn
-warning we will pass on to sterner subjects, and will consider in
-another chapter how to treat the more ‘manly’ portion of the house,
-where work or pleasure may be gone in for.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-THE BILLIARD-ROOM AND LIBRARY.
-
-
-‘There must be nothing frivolous, light, or airy in the aspect of either
-of these rooms; all must be sombre and steady, if not dark;’ and though
-I do not go so far as this--the ordinary dictum of the upholsterer--I am
-quite willing to allow that in the billiard-room at least lightness and
-frivolity are out of place, albeit I cannot allow that even this room
-need be sombre and dreary, while certainly it ought to light up well, as
-it is a room which is generally used merely at night.
-
-Wherever it can be afforded, and wherever there are young men or lads in
-the house, there should always be a billiard-table, and the girls should
-be encouraged to play with their brothers and their brothers’ friends as
-long as their mother or father can remain in the room as some sort of
-guard and guide; the pleasanter home is made the less inclination will
-young men have to go elsewhere for their amusements, and if they are
-accustomed to be made happy and feel that their friends are welcome too,
-they will not keep outside home for the pleasure that is to be found
-without crossing the threshold. A billiard-room in winter, a couple of
-good tennis-courts in summer, and the hours of leisure will pass
-comfortably along, and leave neither time nor opportunities for less
-desirable pleasures.
-
-Example is everything in a house: a thousand sermons will not speak as
-loudly against betting, and gambling, and drink--the horrors of my
-existence--as will the example of a house where such things are never
-allowed, and yet where amusements of all kinds are not frowned upon and
-refused, where games are encouraged for their own sakes, and where a
-healthy outdoor life replaces the bar-frequenting, loafing hours, which
-are all too often the portion of those who have been accustomed to
-‘nipping’ and loafing, because they have seen these two habits allowed
-as a matter of course from their earliest days.
-
-And before I speak of the mere walls and furniture of a billiard-room
-let me impress upon my readers not to allow this room to be turned into
-a base imitation of a tap-room. I am not a teetotaler, and have small
-patience with those intolerant individuals whose language and statements
-are all too often as bad and violent as they are absolutely unreliable
-and untrue, and I do not believe in the possibility of living our
-present eager and artificial existence without the aid of alcohol in
-some shape or the other, certainly not after we have borne the heat and
-stress of the day, and we require something stronger than water to
-sustain us, but I do absolutely condemn the insane and insensate habit
-in which so many indulge nowadays of continually drinking between meals.
-Were stimulants taken at meals only, were spirits, with the exception of
-brandy (which should be kept entirely as a most valuable medicine),
-abolished, we should have no drunkards, and the teetotalers would lose
-all excuse for their most unpleasant and untruthful existences; and as
-we now seldom see a drunkard in our streets, and never contemplate the
-pleasing scenes which after dinner, in our great-grandmothers’ times,
-were visible in many dining-rooms, from which no gentleman ever issued
-to join the ladies, because he was generally under the table or else
-fast asleep with both arms on it, I am in great hopes that we are
-learning to be a sober nation, though I hope sincerely never to see it
-an absolutely teetotal one, for beer and wine are necessary, I am
-convinced, in our climate, and we should be miserable indeed were we
-debarred, as the fanatics would debar us, from the use of all fermented
-or alcoholic drinks.
-
-But we must be moderate and we must not drink between meals, and we must
-avoid the constant sodas-and-brandies which appear inseparable from some
-billiard-rooms, and to which is due, no doubt, the pious horror many
-good folks have of this chamber in a house; and I should like it to be
-firmly understood that the room was for the game merely, and that
-anything like ‘nipping’ would be at once and sternly discouraged. This
-being satisfactorily settled, we may proceed to plan and decorate our
-billiard-room with a clear conscience, secure in the fact that we are
-simply providing a place for innocent amusement, that will be of
-invaluable service at night and on wet Saturday afternoons, and that
-will not prove a snare and stumbling-block to any, more especially if we
-as sternly refuse to allow gambling as we refuse to allow imbibing at
-odd moments of the day or night.
-
-I am always astonished that no crusade has been raised against the
-national sin of gambling. Drink ruins the homes of poor men, but not
-more certainly or rapidly than gambling ruins the homes of rich men, and
-of men far from rich. Drink may kill a man, but it takes a great many
-drunkards to imbibe an estate, while one night’s gambling may scatter
-the savings of a lifetime and turn all the wretched children of a
-selfish gambler into the streets to starve. I have been horrified
-sometimes to see ladies and gentlemen hot, eager, excited, gambling in
-private houses, the host actually bent on winning from those who are
-enjoying his hospitality, the hostess almost insulting her guests in her
-awful anxiety to gain the contents of their purses; and I am convinced
-that the only way to escape this demon is to refuse to pander to it at
-all, to never allow one single penny to be staked at cards in one’s own
-house, and to make this such a rule that it would be impossible to break
-it on any consideration whatever. I have seen pennies played for which
-begat the taste for gambling for much larger sums; and I have never seen
-a house where gambling was allowed truly prosper, or be anything save
-the residence of those whose ideas and hopes were centred in this world
-only, and never rose above the mere ‘society’ existence, than which
-nothing can be more despicable and awful.
-
-This book is not a tract, and therefore I do not say one half I should
-like to on this subject; but as I remember the ruined homes--one family
-especially, where all are scattered and most are dead, where gambling
-went on in the schoolroom and drawing-room alike, at every moment which
-could be snatched for the purpose; the broken hearts, the miserably
-wrecked careers, entirely due to this vice; when one can hardly take up
-a paper without seeing the dreary fate of some wretched youth, whose
-tendencies to betting and gaming have caused him to rob his master’s
-till and landed him in penal servitude, I must say I cannot help feeling
-astonished that the eager teetotalers do not try their hands at putting
-down gaming, especially as they have the law on their side--the kind,
-good, well-devised law which snaps up little boys who play
-pitch-and-toss at the corners of the streets, that winks at
-Tattersall’s and the big races, and finally is utterly powerless to
-punish the high-class gamester, who spends his nights at gaming-hells
-and ruins his home and his wretched constitution at the same time.
-
-However, lest I weary my readers in dwelling on this subject, about
-which one cannot say too much, I think I will now simply speak of the
-decoration of the billiard-room, having, I hope, so judiciously
-sandwiched the powder between the jam in this chapter, that those who
-seek for information about the room itself may unawares come upon it,
-and so be forced to meditate, whether they like it or not, on some of
-the reasons why so many people dread the idea of a billiard-room where
-there are boys. If gambling were non-existent, the veriest Chadband
-might learn to handle the cue; while a pastor at a dissenting chapel
-need not dread the eyes of his deacons were he found disporting himself
-in the halls of the ungodly, which would cease to be ungodly, or be no
-more so than the harmless tennis-courts, were betting eliminated from
-among their charms, and nothing but the game itself really and truly
-encouraged and allowed.
-
-A big room is a necessity for a billiard-room, which should never, by
-any chance, be shorter than twenty-six feet long by twenty broad; a
-full-sized table measures twelve feet by six, and the size I have spoken
-of only allows sufficient comfortable room for walking round the table,
-and for the usual raised seats which are always put at the ends and on
-one side of the room. Personally, I should prefer a much larger room
-still, as I like to see one end of the room furnished as a species of
-sitting-room; but, of course, in London the twenty-six by twenty room
-would be ample. In the country, the billiard-table comes in for days
-when shooting is impossible, and the sitting-room end there is a great
-advantage in more ways than one.
-
-Quite a charming billiard-room can be made by using all brown paint and
-a high dado, to the top of the door, of brown and gold Japanese leather
-paper; above the dado the wall should be painted _café-au-lait_; the
-cornice should be replaced by a coving, which should terminate in a
-top-light, from whence the ordinary cross-lights could be hung for use
-at night, and these surely could be in beaten iron with some prettier
-shades than the hideous green things which match the equally hideous
-cloth, which I hope to see replaced soon by something a little more
-artistic, say in such a room as the one I have just described, by a dull
-brown cloth, which surely would be every bit as satisfactory as the
-green, which is certainly the most aggressive shade of green which has
-ever been made. In this case the shades could be blue, with some lace
-over them, or the yellow with no lace at all.
-
-Where the ceiling is coved, the coving should always be decorated either
-with gold leather paper or by an artist’s brush; and I have seen most
-elaborately drawn pictures of the old wooden ships of Henry VIII.’s time
-in a similar coving, in sepia on a cream ground, which looked perfectly
-beautiful, and which I should recommend in a similar room, where stags’
-heads and other trophies of the chase should be arranged on the painted
-wall, which should be too high for pictures, which could not be hung on
-the dado either, for fear of their being damaged by the ends of the
-cues. I should advise the use of printed yellow linen for curtains,
-edged, of course, with ball fringe, were there any windows in the room
-beside the top-light, which should have a gathered soft yellow blind
-arranged to draw over it in very hot weather; while the table itself,
-when not in use, should be covered with a large square of yellow serge
-lined with American cloth, with a big monogram embroidered on one
-corner; this would preserve the table, and look much better than the
-ordinary cloth.
-
-The floor should be parqueterie with strips of velvet pile carpet in
-golden brown on the four sides; these should be mitred at the corners,
-and no other carpet would be required, save, of course, a square if we
-had the drawing-room end to the room I advocated before; if not, the
-room should be kept for billiards only, when the strips round the table
-would be quite sufficient; the leather seats should be covered in brown
-leather, and the fire should be protected by one of the admirable guards
-sold by Benham & Co., and which have padded tops, on which people can
-sit and watch the game, and get comfortably warm at the same time.
-
-I have seen a most ingenious arrangement of small cupboards in the
-overmantel of a billiard-room, which was pronounced invaluable for the
-safe storing away of cigars and tobacco, which should be mentioned, as
-of course smoking will be principally carried on in this room. The
-mantel-piece was walnut, and the fireplace the orthodox open grate and
-tiled hearth and back; the overmantel was carved to match the mantel,
-and was quite flat to the wall, which had been scooped out in some
-manner behind it, to allow of the formation of sundry square cupboards
-in the wall itself; these each held a cedar-wood box of cigars, with the
-front end off; and the cigars were so arranged that they could be taken
-out one by one, when the square wooden block in the overmantel, which
-formed the entrance to the cupboard, was unlocked, and fell forward on a
-hinge. No one could have suspected the overmantel of being a cupboard,
-and yet it was one; while at the same time this particular spot was
-especially pleasing, I believe, to the constitution of a cigar, which
-appears to require a certain amount of warmth, until it disappears
-finally into smoke, leaving its terrible odour behind it. On the
-mantel-piece itself were dull blue vases holding spills; several
-ingenious and expensive match-boxes, on which all matches appeared to me
-to refuse to ignite, and the usual _débris_ one always finds in similar
-localities, filthy-looking pipes, old date stands, and stands for
-holding the hunt appointments, and similar expensive and broken toys,
-being there in vast abundance. Another excellent manner of decorating a
-billiard-room, where the owner had pictures to dispose of, and did not
-want a very elaborate or costly decoration, would be formed by papering
-the room entirely with real brown paper, and painting the room the same
-soft brown; a frieze should be added, if possible, of one of the
-Japanese hand-painted friezes one can buy occasionally at any
-decorator’s, representing a flight of wild ducks, or else of storks,
-among reeds and flowers; but if this cannot be either found or afforded,
-a plain gold and brown Japanese leather frieze would look well. This
-should not be less than fourteen inches wide; anything less is
-distinctly ugly; while it might come almost to the top of the door,
-which should be surmounted by one of Wallace’s simple over-doors to hold
-china, which should be blue and white. The curtains in this room should
-be Liberty’s very dark blue and white reversible cretonnes; the chairs
-could be either dark blue leather or saddle-bags with dark blue velvet
-surrounds; and the carpet should be dark blue pile. This would look
-well, and be an entirely pleasant scheme of decoration; a hand-painted
-frieze on brown paper would also be capital if expense were no object.
-
-Yet another and a bolder decoration could be made by using Essex golden
-‘Othmar’ paper, with Mandarin paint, and a wide frieze of the dull green
-‘Othmar,’ dull green carpets, and Graham & Biddle’s beautiful yellow
-poppy cretonne, edged with dull green ball fringe, and lined dull green;
-the carpet should be the dull green ‘Stella’ pile carpet from Wallace’s,
-and all the chairs should be dull green leather.
-
-If by chance there can be afforded or managed a drawing-room end to the
-billiard-room, a couple of screens will be found most invaluable; and if
-these screens have a long spike in each fold, to receive which a
-corresponding hole is bored in the floor, a great objection to screens
-will be done away with. Furnished with these spikes, which should be
-able to be unscrewed and removed quite easily, they could not possibly
-be knocked over; and, in my opinion, the tall standard lamps, which are
-so much in request just at present, should be furnished with similar
-spikes, as they always appear to me dreadfully dangerous, especially
-where there are children, or even dogs, or careless servants; for
-though, of course, the danger of fire is entirely done away with if we
-use Defries’s excellent patent for putting out the light as the lamp
-falls, the oil must be spilt and damage the carpet, while an unpleasant
-smash and fright are absolutely certain. We should be saved anything of
-the kind were my simple spike arrangement adopted by all those who use
-these lamps.
-
-The drawing-room end of the billiard-room should have a bow window with
-a seat round, several cosy arm-chairs, a table capable of holding the
-week’s supply of newspapers and the month’s supply of magazines, each in
-its own proper corner, and a couple of serviceable paper-knives should
-be always forthcoming. There should be a nice little writing-table for
-the use of any who wish to scribble notes; and, above all, there should
-be either a long bookcase on the wall full of frivolous literature, or
-else one of Trübner’s excellent bookcases, which revolve and so allow
-one to reach any book in the case without rising from one’s comfortable
-seat.
-
-A venerable piano which has seen better days is no mean addition to the
-comfort and pleasure of the billiard-room, and many an hilarious and
-impromptu entertainment has chased away the melancholy caused by a wet
-afternoon in the dismal winter country, due entirely to the happy
-presence among the company of a piano which was quite good enough to be
-used to accompany comic songs on, and amply good enough to form the
-basis for a recitation after--a long way after--Corney Grain or the
-immortal John Parry.
-
-But though a big room is much better than a small one for billiards,
-people should not be deterred from having a table in their houses
-because their space does not allow of a full-sized one. The very nicest
-billiard-room I was ever in, and which, alas! is now no more, was that
-formed by using the square hall of a country vicarage; that table
-existed before the present age of artistic decorations, but whenever I
-remember it and the dear old house in which it stood I forget all art,
-and only remember the extreme fascination that place had for me, and can
-scent again the mingled odours of the vicar’s pipes and Maréchal Niel
-roses, which are inseparable from my remembrance of the place. The table
-stood squarely in the front hall, which was covered with brown linoleum,
-and was seldom unmarked by dogs’ feet for more than five minutes after
-it had been freshly washed, and we used to perch about on the tops of
-oak chests, the fender, anywhere, while the game progressed, as there
-was no room for seats. In addition to the hall table, the hat-stand,
-decorated with all sorts and conditions of hats, male and female, and
-the oak chests, one of which held the rugs and whips, the other the
-parish registers from some very bygone date, the walls themselves were
-decorated with stuffed birds and animals in glass cases, sundry collars
-and chains belonging to the dear dogs, driving-whips suspended in some
-cunning manner to keep them in shape, a barometer which survived the
-most fearful amount of banging and shaking that ever barometer was
-subjected to, and finally by the post-bag, which hung from a nail until
-it was fetched by a small village girl who rejoiced in the remarkable
-name of ‘Rhody Jemimy,’ who had to take and fetch the bag morning and
-evening from the ‘World’s End,’ the mail-cart bringing it and taking it
-from and to that mysterious location, for we were far too primitive in
-those parts to have a postman, and had our one post a day contentedly
-enough, though I believe the present denizen of the vicarage has
-clamoured until he has not only a postman but a second post; albeit,
-neither were ever required by us, who were perfectly happy in those
-blessed days without them. I dwell upon this room rather at length in
-order to encourage anyone who may hanker after a billiard-room, and not
-dare to think of it seriously because the necessary twenty feet by
-twenty space is not forthcoming, and, moreover, because they dread the
-expense as much as the want of room. Of course a new full-sized table is
-a very expensive thing, and fittings and all could not cost less than
-150_l._; but as soon as we have made up our minds that we can really
-have a billiard-table we must begin to look out for the sales, for very
-often there are compulsory sales about, where a very good billiard-table
-can be purchased for a quarter the price of a new one. I have known one
-sold for 25_l._, as the owner had forgotten to renew his lease and was
-given summary notice of dismissal, while a friend of mine bought a
-beauty for 40_l._ which simply required a little polish about the legs
-to be quite as good as new; but should money be of no real object, it
-would be better to go to some really first-class maker and have the
-table properly set up and made, for I believe there is great art in the
-proper placing of the table, and this should only be undertaken by
-someone who thoroughly understands the business; still, in a small room,
-and with a small and second-hand table, there may be found vast
-enjoyment if the bigger and more elaborate arrangement cannot possibly
-be managed.
-
-I am always amused at some people’s determination not to be either
-happy, or _complete_ in their household arrangements, because they
-cannot have the best of everything that is to be had, though I must
-confess such conduct makes me just a little cross as well. I have known
-folks utterly refuse to contemplate the joys of a jolly little pony and
-chaise because they didn’t care to set up a carriage unless they could
-do so properly; ‘properly’ in their case meaning the orthodox coachman,
-footman, horses, and a couple of carriages; whereas they condemned
-themselves to their own immediate neighbourhood and to tramping about
-the lanes, or to staying at home, because they could not understand that
-as much pleasure could be got out of the ‘shay’ as out of anything still
-more gorgeous. I have known folks decline with scorn to cover their
-ugly, depressing, bare walls with pictures, because they could not buy
-Millais and Herkomers; whereas their lives and their houses would have
-been brightened at once had they spent 20_l._ on autotypes. And I have
-as constantly been acquainted with dozens of folks who would not do
-this, that, or the other, because they must take a back seat so to
-speak, and who in consequence waste half their opportunities. I except
-society, by the way; if the best society is not forthcoming (and by the
-best society I mean the society of people who are clever and who have
-done, or long to do something to make the world brighter and happier
-than they found it), don’t have any. The contact with mean, small, and
-ignorant minds does one harm, not good; the constant rubbing against
-time-serving shoulders and the shoulders of those who would do any
-amount of grovelling to be received by what they consider the society of
-the neighbourhood, only smirches us, and we had better sit at home all
-our lives with our books alone than expose ourselves to the
-deterioration we receive from association with such folk. But, apart
-from society, I would rather have the second or third best of everything
-if I can’t have the first, for the more one gets out of life the better,
-and the more one sees of the world and of the nice people in it the
-wider do our minds become, and the more appreciation and enjoyment do we
-have from our lives.
-
-With the plea for a secondhand billiard-table rather than none, I will
-turn away from the room with one last suggestion--viz. to have good
-thick curtains hung over any doors that there may be in the room,
-outside; this will keep the smell of the smoke within proper bounds, and
-will also keep out the sound of the click-click of the balls, than which
-nothing is more annoying--to me at any rate. These curtains could be
-made of Adams serge lined with Bolton sheeting; both these materials
-will wash and are to be had from Burnett’s, and should be very wide and
-full, and should hang well over the hinges and cracks of the door; these
-should further be surrounded by ‘Slater’s patent’ for excluding
-draughts, as naturally the room will be properly ventilated, and there
-would be no need to think of that, all our care being centred on keeping
-in the room all scent of the smoke and all sound of the balls. If the
-room is separate from the house, and only connected with it by a long
-passage, we may consider, I think, that nothing more is to be expected,
-and that here is indeed the perfect billiard-room. This room should be
-in the care of the head housemaid, whose first duty should be to open
-all the available windows every morning, no matter what the weather is
-like, to see all the cigar-ash is swept up, and finally to slip the
-curtains off the poles (a matter of three minutes exactly), to have them
-well shaken out of doors and left there for half an hour, having them
-replaced the moment the room is cleaned and set straight. Treated like
-this the billiard-room would always be fresh and nice, and would have no
-more smell of smoke about it than would be pleasantly suggestive to
-anyone who is not such a bitter enemy to smoke as I am.
-
-And now about the library, the arrangement of which must depend entirely
-on the individual tastes and pursuits of the master of the house, whose
-room this is more especially; for in all big houses the mistress has her
-morning-room, and the guests generally are provided with writing-tables
-in their rooms, and would only venture into the library when the door
-was open, or by the rule of the house was made free to them during
-certain hours. Naturally, if the master were in no measure a literary
-man, if he had no Parliamentary work, or work that required him to
-isolate himself from the rest of the household at certain hours, the
-room would always be free; but it should be kept for writing and reading
-only, it should never be turned into a play-room of any kind; therefore
-there should be a certain sobriety about it, and it should not be
-furnished too frivolously or in such a manner as to suggest flirtation
-instead of study, sweet sleep instead of proper, severe application to
-one’s books.
-
-Perhaps the very prettiest library I have ever seen is one in London,
-which may sound frivolous, but is nothing of the kind, and has some of
-the most serious work of the nation done between its four walls; it is
-enamelled white--doors, cupboards, bookshelves, overmantel, indeed
-everything, and has a most beautiful effect, especially against the
-dun-coloured, gold-tinted calf volumes, with which the shelves are most
-amply supplied; the shelves are supported on cupboards with brass locks
-and hinges, and are wide and deep enough to hold quantities of law
-papers; all these shelves and cupboards are ‘fitments’ passing
-completely round the room, and continuing under the windows. The only
-scraps of wall which show are papered with a very good Japanese leather
-paper, and the space above the mantel-piece is filled in with an old
-portrait; sundry pieces of blue china are on the mantel-piece, which are
-never without their fresh flowers; the carpet is a very fine Oriental
-one, with a great deal of white in it; the furniture is blue, as are the
-curtains, which are arranged across the top of each window and down one
-side only, while the enormous desk which occupies the centre of the room
-is a most exquisitely inlaid piece of marqueterie, and is the only
-coloured thing in the room, the frames of the chairs, &c., being
-enamelled like the room itself. Now this white idea for a library in
-London--dirty, smoky London--does seem absurd and a trifle frivolous,
-but the effect thereof is perfect, and as the application of a damp
-clean duster and a polish from a leather makes the room absolutely
-spotless, I see no reason why the white library should be scoffed at as
-an impossibility. A big beaten iron and copper lamp from Strode hangs in
-the centre of the room, and gives the finishing touch to a very perfect
-apartment.
-
-Here the room is used for important work which requires absolute peace
-and absolute solitude, where the books refer to the special subject of
-study, and would be of no interest whatever to the ordinary man. Still,
-a modified edition of the white room could easily be carried out, and
-would be far more cheerful to live with, than the orthodox dark green
-and carved oak, or a base imitation thereof that we find in far too many
-houses; oak, in my opinion, being utterly unsuited to a modern house,
-and should only be used in a big old house where one looks for it as a
-matter of course. Of the modern imitation called Flemish oak I have no
-words of condemnation sufficiently strong; it is abominable, ugly,
-heavy, and badly executed, and should never be tolerated in any house
-where artistic decoration is encouraged and sought after.
-
-If, as I said before, the master of the house does not require so much
-space for papers or books as to authorise him to cover in the entire
-wall-space at his command with fitments, I advise him to run his
-bookcases simply round the room to a height of an ordinary dado. Above
-this could be hung the ever-useful Japanese paper, or a real
-red-and-white paper, such as is Pither’s ‘buttercup.’ On the wall could
-be hung pictures, or a large cupboard well designed (and I should
-suggest Mr. Arthur Smee as the proper person to send to for this) should
-break the space of wall in the centre. The doors could be of cathedral
-glass in leaded squares, with broad brass hinges and locks; while the
-same design, of course on a much smaller scale, could be introduced over
-the mantel-piece. The desk could be enamelled white, and the top covered
-with Japanese leather paper. Of course the handles on the drawers must
-be brass; the blotting-book could be of red leather, with a plain
-monogram stamped on, or else the name of the room and of the house; and
-the head housemaid should be very particular about the state of the
-inkstand and of the blotting-book, though she should be forbidden, of
-course, to touch any of the papers on the desk, for fear she might lose
-important manuscripts. The mistress of the house should dust these
-herself if the master is touchy, or objects to other hands meddling with
-his belongings.
-
-The curtains in a library should be thick and warm, and should, in the
-red-and-cream room, be in cream Roman satin, embroidered with red
-flowers if possible, or else of deep red Roman satin or Bokhara plush.
-The furniture sold by Hampton, covered in what they call ‘Khelims,’ but
-which is quite unlike the ordinary striped material I have always
-purchased as such, and is much more Oriental-looking, would do admirably
-in this room, where there should certainly be a couple of good sofas and
-four or five armchairs, and a small writing-table and chair beside the
-bigger one; while great care should be taken with the lighting, it being
-most important that a good light should fall on the book or
-writing-table, which should throw no fidgety shadows. When the electric
-light becomes general this advice will not be necessary, but until it is
-great care must be taken, before the lights are absolutely fixtures, to
-ascertain that they are in the right place, or else the unfortunate
-would-be readers and writers will be continually annoyed. The large
-standard lamps are useful in a library, as they can be moved at any
-moment, and further care should be taken in the choice of a carpet,
-which should be thick and soft, and should cover almost all the floor,
-thus saving the student any chance of being fidgeted by the sudden
-scroop of a chair pushed hastily back or by the noise of a falling book
-or of a sudden footstep.
-
-In a small house a library would be impossible, and therefore I give no
-directions for a cheaper style of decoration, which, however, could be
-managed in judiciously chosen shades of green and white, and I will only
-now speak about the books and the manner of treating such a room.
-
-No child or very young person, and no servant, no matter whom, should
-ever be allowed to read the library books, which should never under any
-pretext whatever be removed from the library, and should consist of
-histories, travels, poetry, and all standard works that have survived
-the fiery trial of a twenty years’ existence; the lighter works of
-to-day, which one reads when one is tired or wants simply to be amused,
-should be found in the billiard and morning rooms, and in every spare
-room in the house (Mudie’s books being also in these rooms), and on no
-account whatever should a really good book which forms part of a set, or
-is valuable, be lent; listen to no entreaties, place the book _in the
-room_ at the disposal of anyone who cares to read it, but lend it and
-you may and will run the risk of losing your book, or of having to
-torment for it, until your friend hates you, although in strict justice
-he ought to hate himself for the trouble he has given you. In every
-library and, indeed, in every house, there should be a list of the books
-in each room, and whenever a book is added the name thereof should be
-written down. I speak feelingly, if a little bitterly, on the subject,
-for no one has lent more books than I have, and no one has been more
-ruthlessly robbed; for people who would be absolutely incapable of
-depriving one of a pin, lose and forget to return my books, and at last
-I have come to the conclusion that I will never lend another; books are
-cheap enough, goodness knows, and libraries swarm; let people borrow
-there, and close your heart to the would-be borrower if you want to keep
-your books, and not scatter them generously about the world at large.
-
-Again, I should never forbid anyone to read any book whatever--a
-prohibition makes people anxious at once; but the fact that the library
-books must be kept in the library would deter the children from reading
-what they ought not, and we would forbid certain literature because of
-its binding, not because of the contents; this I have found act much
-better than the wholesale orders we were given on the subject, in
-consequence of which I had read all Defoe’s, Richardson’s, Fielding’s,
-and other works I should never have seen before I was sixteen, and
-wondered why on earth they were forbidden me. I should never have read
-one of them had I not wanted to see why I must not; they did me no harm,
-because I could not understand them; they might have done infinite harm
-to any other girl who was less babyish for her age than I happened in
-some mysterious manner to be, and therefore it is a good thing to keep
-such books where children do not come and where they are forbidden to
-touch books which are too well bound to be risked in their
-all-too-generally grimy little paws.
-
-As in all the other rooms in the house, cheerfulness should be first
-thought of: a gloomy library, a library where the windows are obscured,
-is a mistake; cheerfulness is the first thing to be seriously cultivated
-by us all, in all relations of life, for it is indeed true, as the poet
-says--
-
- A merry heart goes all the way,
- A sad one tires in a mile-a;
-
-therefore, in choosing and furnishing the library, remember this axiom,
-and let sunshine and brightness and cheerfulness be found there, as in
-every other room and place in the house; for we are insensibly and
-immensely influenced by our surroundings, and we should always make the
-best of our lives and belongings in every way we possibly can.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-SHALL WE DO AWAY WITH THE NURSERY?
-
-
-It is a hard moment in the life of any woman when she has to make up her
-mind that she cannot any longer consistently retain one of the best
-rooms in the house for the nursery, more especially if she has been able
-to realise her ambition, and to give to her children an ideal chamber,
-where beauty and suitable arrangements for their comfort have been duly
-studied.
-
-I know nothing sadder than an empty nursery. The children, who were as
-much our own as anything on this earth can ever be, have ceased to be
-children. They are still ours, but they are independent creatures; our
-care is no longer absolutely necessary to them. Some may even have
-married, and others may be trying their wings by some short flights from
-the home that will always be theirs, even if they do not care to return
-to it. But, in any case, they are no longer the dear little mites whose
-tiny ailments kept us awake at night, whose clothes and education were
-our unceasing care, and who found their heaven in our presence,
-believing honestly and thankfully that all they had came from us, and
-that we were without a flaw, as omnipotent as we were faultless.
-
-The most melancholy part of middle age is this being left behind by our
-children, the eagerness on their parts to live their own lives and begin
-their own career. But it should not be sad, as it is only what happened
-to our parents, after all, and will happen again in the future
-generation. But all the same, it must be a hardened heart indeed that
-can contemplate an empty nursery and have no other thoughts than how
-best to decorate or use the room for a totally different purpose. There
-is a peculiar _serrement de cœur_, which, once experienced, can never
-be forgotten, when we enter a room made sacred to us by a thousand
-dreams and romances--a thousand dreads and fears we have never spoken of
-to any soul on earth, and have to consider how best we can alter it to
-another purpose.
-
-I remember, years ago, going to see a house in which we had had many,
-many happy hours, and which had just passed from those we knew and loved
-to persons in an inferior station of life, with whom we should never
-have any dealings, and I have never forgotten the feeling of desolation
-that seized me when I looked up at the erstwhile nursery window, from
-which the bars were hanging broken, and remembered the faces that used
-never to be absent from that place--a feeling that was intensified a
-thousand times when I climbed up to the room itself, and looked for the
-last time on the walls, papered by ourselves with pictures from the
-‘Illustrated News’ (I can remember them all vividly, from the marriage
-of the Princess Royal in one corner to pictures of the American War in
-the other), and recollected the boys who were all out in the world, each
-busy with his own life, with whom I had played, ridden, eaten far too
-much fruit in the sunny garden below the nursery windows (where I verily
-believe it was always fine and hot), and with whom I had risen at dawn
-in many a misty September morning, bent on collecting a great dish of
-mushrooms for breakfast, to surprise the house-mother with--a surprise
-that she must have been well accustomed to, but which she never failed
-to express; she knew we should have been so disappointed had she seemed
-in the least degree to expect the never-failing dish, though she had a
-hard struggle to be duly elated and not say one word about the draggled
-skirts and wringing wet stockings and boots, which she knew were
-reposing upstairs and would be shown to her in due course and with much
-wrath by Susan, to whose lot it always fell to remedy our dilapidations,
-which she used to say were always worse when I was there to rush about
-with the boys and lead them into mischief and dirt of all kinds.
-
-There can be nothing more extinct on this earth than that dear old
-nursery, closed nearly twenty years ago and utterly swept away, but I
-can never think of it without becoming young again--without being the
-eldest of that small flock and worshipped as only five small boys can
-worship a London cousin much older than themselves, who yet could enter
-into all their games and excursions with the zest of a girl who has
-never tried living in the country, and sees only the poetical side of
-it; and without remembering the happiest of happy homes, where I cannot
-recollect a cross word, a disagreeable day, or anything but the noise
-of the boys rushing about, the scent of a thousand flowers, the planning
-of a hundred picnics, and a delightful sense of summer and sunshine that
-can never be forgotten, and that has influenced more lives than
-mine--more even than the generous, hospitable master and mistress will
-ever know--though perhaps he does in the rest he won so worthily and in
-the Heaven that must hold anyone who was as generous and good as he was
-to the many, many relations with whom he filled his house, and to whom
-he always gave a hearty welcome.
-
-But no doubt there are a great many other nurseries just like this
-one--and, indeed, I know of several--so I would beg my readers to bear
-with me while I speak of these rooms, and beg them not to make a clean
-sweep of the nursery altogether until they are positively obliged to do
-so, not because there may be other babies to come, but because the
-nursery is useful for a thousand things, and it makes such a dreadful
-difference in a house when the room is completely altered and turned
-into a room for the maid who takes the place of the nurse, perhaps, or
-into a sitting-room for the girls or boys. Don’t let this be done, dear
-readers, until you are absolutely crowded out, because you will be
-miserable, and because you can never tell that the room may not be
-wanted as a sanitorium; an upstairs sitting-room, a refuge for our
-grandchildren, should we have married children, and should they be
-coming to stay with us, and bring their babies in due course of time;
-while the room having been decorated and furnished as a nursery is that
-and nothing else, and would have to be completely altered, should we
-settle to do away with it altogether.
-
-Now, I want you to look just for a moment at the picture I have had
-drawn here of an empty nursery and see how admirably it is adapted for
-the purpose, and how cruel it would be to sweep away all these corners
-and shelves. You will notice how the cupboard fills in the recess
-between the fire and the wall, and you will see how a doll’s-house
-should be arranged, and then, I am sure, you will think twice about
-weeding out all this, and doing away with things that may give pleasure
-to future generations, particularly when we must all number among our
-acquaintances people with children, who come to tea, and will enjoy
-their tea twice as much if the children can be relegated to old nurse
-and the room where all is prepared for the small guests, who will for
-the moment take the place of those who are still children to us, albeit
-they are as old as we were when we began housekeeping ourselves, and set
-up a nursery with the pride and consequence inseparable from that most
-important step; while we can look hopefully forward to other small
-visitors who will be delighted to play with ‘mother’s old toys,’ and to
-hear things about that mother’s childhood, which can only be told them
-by an authority on the subject.
-
-The nursery I have had sketched here is, of course, a much more
-expensive and elaborate room than could be suggested to folks with small
-incomes, but will serve as an example, I hope even in little houses,
-although, as those were amply catered for in my first book, I do not
-feel so bound to consider them as I did then. I should always have a
-real dado in any nursery. The one used here is of Indian matting, which
-is as neat and clean after ten years’ use as it was the day it was put
-up. By the way, a dado should be secured at the top with rather a
-heavier rail than the one illustrated, and this should be screwed on,
-not nailed. The screws can be removed at any moment, and the dado taken
-down. In the case of a cretonne dado this could be washed at any moment,
-while stuff or matting could be brushed or shaken; but I have taken down
-matting after ten years on a wall, which was sized before the matting
-was put up, and have never found the smallest dirt behind it, while the
-wall remained absolutely intact for that space of time, and, indeed, is
-as good as new now, after fifteen years’ wear, at least, I hear it is;
-unfortunately we have moved twice since then, and I cannot possibly
-inspect the matting to verify this statement for myself as I should like
-to do; but ten years is a long time, and, in these roving days of ours,
-when all too rarely do houses descend from father to son, is quite space
-enough for most of us.
-
-Above the matting--which should be the kind sold by Treloar, in Ludgate
-Circus, for 35_s._ the roll of 40 yards--can be put any pretty blue
-paper. Pither’s new blue bay-tree paper, at 1_s._ 6_d._, is charming,
-and is of a colour that
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 15.--An Empty Nursery.]
-
-we never tire of. The paint could be the same shade of blue; the tiny
-cornice should be coloured cream, and the ceiling paper should be
-Maple’s cheap yellow and white one, at 4½_d._ a piece. This could be
-cleaned twice a year with stale bread, and, as it is so cheap, could be
-replaced the moment it showed signs of becoming in the least degree
-shabby. The best toys could be arranged round the room on the shelf,
-which could be painted blue, and further appropriate decorations could
-be made by tennis rackets and skipping ropes if desired, albeit I should
-prefer a picture there of some kind or other, or else a lamp hanging out
-over the fireplace, beyond the reach of little fingers which might
-hanker after the fascinating occupation of lowering the light or putting
-it up to such an extent that the glass might be smashed in less than no
-time.
-
-The short curtains and absence of blinds which I always advocate, and
-which idea has been largely copied and adopted, are just indicated in
-the picture, as is the long straight seat under the windows, which would
-take the place of the sofa if there were not room for one; but the
-useful serge or arras cloth should be used instead of cretonne here, as
-cretonne so soon gets out of order in a place which is so much used as
-such a window-seat might be. Corduroy velveteen would also make an
-admirable covering, and would always be, in a measure, tidy. It is
-possible to make these window-seats do double duty as a seat and also as
-a box, for instead of the front being a ‘hollow mockery,’ as it is when
-it is a simple frill and nothing else, it could be a wooden box, and the
-seat could be a padded lid, which could lift up and down. A small frill
-nailed on the top of the seat would conceal the opening, and the front
-of the box could be covered with frilled material like small organ
-pipes. This would hold any quantity of work, old books, magazines, and
-rubbish generally: rubbish which is of no use at all, but is absolutely
-priceless to the little owners.
-
-I think anyone who has ever owned a dolls’-house will admire my idea for
-a fixed one, because all who have ever possessed a similar abode must
-have occasionally pulled it down about the ears when engaged in an
-orthodox game with this most fascinating toy, at least it used to be
-fascinating in my day; judging from my two girls no one can care now for
-them, for the beauty we had has long since gone to a hospital, owing to
-the absolute indifference with which its many charms were treated by our
-children. But if there still exist any small maidens who treat their
-houses as we used to, I am sure this arrangement of cupboard shelves
-with a real house front and a flap to let down, properly painted of
-course like a hall door, with windows above, must commend itself to
-them. The flap makes a table for dolls’ meals and parties, and is very
-useful for house cleaning, which delightful occupation invariably
-occurred in my day every Saturday regularly; but then we used to cover
-up our furniture with dust-sheets when we went to the seaside, and,
-furthermore, always deposited our wills in the drawing-room bureau under
-the same adventurous and dangerous circumstances, sealing the house at
-one side with the device of a dove bearing an olive-branch in its mouth,
-so that we might be quite sure profane hands had not meddled with our
-house or our possessions during our absence. I do not know if in these
-grown-up days of ours, and of competitive examinations and women’s
-rights, there is time or inclination either for elaborate games, such as
-we used to play over the dolls’-house, but I hope there is, as nothing
-is more truly engaging than such a possession, for which netting new
-curtains, and making new furniture, even occupied the boys, while, of
-course, we were never tired of altering and arranging and making too.
-Little as I work or care for working, I am sure I should enjoy making a
-Berlin-wool carpet now for someone‘s dolls’-house, only, unfortunately,
-I don’t know anyone who has one. I should not require a pattern; I
-remember the black diamonds accurately, each diamond being filled with a
-different coloured wool, making a _tout ensemble_ to be feared, indeed,
-in these æsthetic days of ours.
-
-Many a wet afternoon has been happily passed in washing and ‘getting up’
-our net curtains for the windows, in rearranging them and tying them up
-with ribands bought at Whiteley’s, when it was one wee shop served by
-the Universal Provider himself and two girls, for which we saved our
-money; and I sincerely believe my first love of decoration and adornment
-of the house was fostered, if it were not born, of the intense
-attachment I had for my dolls’-house, at the desk of which I wrote my
-first attempt at poetry--and very awful it was--and to whose sheltering
-care I confided many a packet of MSS., which I was always going to
-submit to a publisher, but which paucity of stamps kept safely in the
-dolls’-house until I was old enough to know what utter rubbish I had
-written, and how worthily it would have been rapidly entombed in the
-waste-paper basket.
-
-Below the dolls’-house illustrated there is a drawer, which can hold any
-amount of odds and ends, and of course the whole side of the room could
-be dolls’-house if cupboard space were not required, but, as it may be,
-the cupboard is shown above the house, decorated with a spray of
-flowers, painted by someone who knows how to paint; not by any amateur
-dauber, for you must never allow bad art in your nursery, even if you
-know it will have to be done away with in a comparatively short time.
-The other side of the fireplace can be another cupboard; this should be
-treated exactly like the one shown, of course without the dolls’-house.
-This will give ample space for all the nursery belongings, for no one
-should be allowed to hoard, though a certain amount of rubbish should
-always be winked at, but broken toys and torn books should be mended and
-patched--capital work that for wet days--and should always be sent off
-to the omnivorous Sisters at Kilburn, who can use anything, it doesn’t
-matter what, and who will welcome as treasures what the children will no
-longer use; therefore nothing should be thrown away. Nurses and children
-alike all enjoy mending and making for the Kilburn orphans, if only they
-are told about them and asked to take an interest in the good work done
-there. I have looked about all over London, I think, since writing my
-first book to find a suitable floor-covering for the nursery, and have
-not satisfied myself quite that I have done it. I cannot like or in any
-way advise linoleum there. It is cold, ugly, and there is an undeniable
-odour about it that never leaves it, and therefore I do not like to see
-it in a room which should always be as pretty as we can make it. I
-think, therefore, it is best to buy a square carpet, with either a
-border or else a good woollen fringe round, and put this down over
-carpet felt. Wallace’s ‘blue anemone’ Brussels carpet, at 3_s._ 11_d._ a
-yard, would wear some years, or a cheaper carpet still might be had in
-the ‘blue lily,’ at 3_s._ 9_d._, wide width; but I should prefer the
-Brussels for really hard wear. The staining round the room should not be
-more than 12 inches wide, and should be done with Jackson’s varnish
-stains. When the stained boards begin to get shabby the nursemaid can
-paint them over herself with some stain, and they can be kept in order
-by a weekly polish from the stuff sold by Jackson for the purpose. Half
-a gallon of the stain is sufficient for a margin round a good-sized
-room. This would cost 6_s._, and proper directions for applying the
-stains are sent out with them. Personally, I prefer the dark oak or
-walnut stain to any of the others. There should never be a hearth-rug in
-any room; but I must again state this in connection with the nursery, it
-would only cause accidents, and would serve at least to conceal the
-depredations of a careless nursemaid, who cannot refrain from making
-that portion of the carpet filthy with carelessness when she is doing
-the grate if she should be provided with a rug with which to cover up
-her sins. The carpet can be turned round to ensure equal wear if the
-square is made as suggested, and should last quite ten years, which is
-as long as any carpet should be allowed to last, in my opinion; an older
-carpet being a repository of dirt and dust, and therefore cannot be
-healthy, a reason why I should never advocate very expensive carpets, as
-I much prefer to be able to have a new one without too much exertion on
-my part, especially in bedrooms, and in such rooms as nurseries and
-schoolrooms.
-
-I am, however, again describing a nursery, and this instead of calmly
-discussing how best to do away with it; but I will make a confession
-here, and then I fear I shall show how bad an advocate I should prove
-were I called in to advise how best to do away with this room, which in
-all real homes is the very heart of the household. For be it known to my
-readers, that, as my youngest child was eight years old, I determined,
-Spartan-like, to do away with the nursery, and converted the room into a
-sitting and sleeping room for my nurse, who was henceforth to act as
-maid; the young person, who was as her own baby, being taken from her
-and sent to share her sister’s rooms, one of which was to be part
-school, part sitting room; but we were all so uncomfortable I had no
-heart to continue the arrangement. When small friends came to tea there
-was nowhere for them to go; wet days were things to be dreaded because
-the child had no real place of her own for her things, and, after
-struggling on for nearly a year, we have returned to the nursery,
-although we try our hardest to call it school-room, and are now so much
-happier in consequence.
-
-Another problem--should we do away with the nursery--is, What is to
-become of the nurse? You may call her a maid and give her your garments
-to look after, and tell her she must now take on her the work of a maid,
-but she will never do this properly; she will miss her room and her
-occupation, and she will move about miserably, missing the children and
-yet not knowing what she misses, and will neither be useful nor
-pleasant. But leave her her nursery, and one child if possible, and she
-will be quite happy; and, much as we may hanker after a maid, the ideal
-creature who shall never have to be told that buttons are off or skirts
-torn, who shall make our every-day dresses and retrim our bonnets, we
-owe something to the nurse who has looked after the children at the
-worst and most critical time of their lives, and are bound, if we cannot
-afford the two luxuries, to sacrifice the maid and cling to the nurse.
-And be quite sure if we do we shall be rewarded; the children may be
-grown up, but even grown-up folks have colds and headaches, and
-sometimes worse ailments than these, and who so fit to keep watch over
-these ailments as the nurse, who has gallantly steered us through
-measles, whooping-cough, and the thousand ailments other people’s
-selfishness is always handing on from generation to generation?--no one,
-surely; and if she and the nursery are retained together, there is
-always someone who knows what to do in an emergency, and a place to go
-to to be petted and quieted and made much of, as only a nurse can do who
-has had her nurslings from the first and loves them as only their mother
-and nurse know how to love. We have two such nurses in our family: I
-one, my sister the other, and I can never advise doing away with any
-nursery when I remember all that this may probably mean to others beside
-the householders themselves.
-
-In a large house, therefore--a house where, let us hope, people mean to
-stay some years--this is an extra reason for making the nursery as
-pretty as possible. One cannot be very sentimental over a schoolroom;
-there is always a suspicion of ogre’s castle about that room, and it can
-invariably be turned into the girls’ sitting-room or into a
-billiard-room at the earliest opportunity, but all the sentiment of the
-home is to be found in the nursery, where the children are without a
-care or a trouble, and where they are gaining strength and health for
-the battle of life; therefore, let us never grudge any money we can
-afford being spent upon the nursery. As I said before, I always consider
-blue by far the pleasantest colour to live with, which is one reason why
-I advocate blue in the nursery; but of course endless combinations of
-colour could be had which would be equally pleasing and successful, but
-not as nice to live with always. However, I will give one or two which
-might perhaps be liked better by people who are not as fully convinced
-as I am on the merits of blue.
-
-A pink and cream nursery would be pretty and bright, and could be
-managed by using Pither’s cream and pink bay-tree paper, all cream
-paint, and a dado; the dado of Haines’ anaglypta, painted cream, the
-ceiling paper should be J. & H. Land’s green and white ‘Watteau’
-ceiling, at 3_s._, the carpet should be either the green ‘lily,’ or
-‘Stella,’ or ‘anemone,’ from Wallace, and the cretonne should be
-Oetzmann’s sage-green ‘algæ’ cretonne, at 1_s._ 3½_d._, the muslin
-curtains being, if possible, of Helbronner’s pink and green ‘lily’
-muslin, an expensive muslin but a very lovely one, which would complete
-the room nicely. The furniture should be ash and as simple as possible,
-and the flowers on the cupboard should be the pink flowering rush with
-slender reeds, and a few pale Marguerites. Yet another decoration could
-be made by using a high dado of Liberty’s nut-brown arras cloth, at
-9¾_d._ a yard; this would be sufficiently high to allow of the toy-shelf
-being used instead of a dado-rail; above this the paper should be
-Pither’s ‘Buttercup, C,’ at 2_s._ 6_d._, a dull yellow-brown paper; all
-the paint should be ‘golden-brown,’ the ceiling paper should be yellow
-and white, the curtains yellow ‘Venetian’ cretonne, reversible, at 1_s._
-1_d._, clear Indian muslin underneath, and the carpet should be Pither’s
-golden-brown cottage carpet. This scheme sounds dull, but were anyone so
-unfortunate as to be condemned to use a sunless room as a nursery, she
-would find this arrangement would bring the sunshine into the room in a
-remarkable manner; while dark-blue curtains, carpet, and coverings would
-make the room less severe and be equally satisfactory, more especially
-if Colbourne’s Hawthorne muslin in yellow and white were placed next
-the window. Still, in a sunless room, one cannot have too much yellow;
-yellow serge would be found useful here for curtains should the windows
-be large, or a draught come in which would be too much for the cretonne
-to keep out, though cretonne should always be lined with Burnett’s
-sateen at _7d._ a yard, and for a nursery should be edged with frills;
-the ball-fringe is really too tempting for small children, who cannot
-resist the delights of pulling off the little tufts wherever they are
-within reach of their fingers.
-
-A most successful decoration, if rather a dainty one, was carried out
-under my directions the other day, and may be mentioned here, as variety
-is always pleasing to some minds, and it may be liked by those who
-approve of bright colours; it consisted in staining all the woodwork
-with Jackson’s malachite green stain and papering the walls with
-Pither’s admirable red and cream ‘buttercup’ paper, the ceiling being
-papered with a pale green and white paper; the floor was covered with a
-green drugget from Barr & Elliott’s, at 2_s._ a yard, wide width, which
-is wearing admirably, and all the furniture was in quaint stained wood
-from Mr. Armitage, examples of which are illustrated in the chapter on
-kitchens; the settle, table, and chairs, being all made by him, as were
-the mantel and over-mantel; in the centre of this latter piece of
-furniture was placed a square of looking-glass, though I personally
-should have preferred a good autotype in the red tints. The tiles in the
-grate were red, and there was the orthodox high fender with brass rails,
-which should never be wanting in any room where there are children; the
-table-cloth and curtains were of green serge, the exact shade of the
-staining, and the room altogether was far prettier than I had expected
-it to be, although I must confess my expectations were very high.
-
-Out of one of these schemes of decoration--and I am glad to say that all
-are possible, for Pither, among others, will always keep in stock any
-paper that has really found favour with the public; therefore I am not
-recommending what will be out of anyone’s power to possess almost before
-these words are in type, as was the case a very few years ago--it will
-be quite easy to evolve a nursery in the new house which will be so
-pretty and appealing to the inhabitants, that when the last baby is a
-tall young person, either rejoicing in knickerbockers or a frock, or in
-being in the schoolroom as a matter of course, and who goes for walks
-and has meals in company with the elders--and we are forced to consider
-the problem with which I headed this chapter--we may reply unanimously,
-No; not as long as nurse lives, nor as long as there is the very
-smallest chance of illness or of our having to entertain small visitors.
-For these even the cots and high chairs should be retained; they do not
-eat anything, as one of our old nurses used to say when I wanted to give
-away some of the treasures, and they may even come in for the
-grandchildren, who will appreciate, as no one else can, the fact that
-they are having just what their parents had, and sitting and sleeping in
-the very beds and chairs they used to patronise. It is from the mistakes
-of others we learn most, and I have never forgotten the lamentations
-among old servants at home, when the nurseries being done away with and
-every cot scattered to the four winds of heaven, my mother had to borrow
-cots and turn the house almost upside down to take in her grandchildren,
-who were suddenly sent to her to be looked after during a sudden stress
-of illness, an inconvenience that caused endless worry and bustle, but
-would have been nothing at all had the old nurseries still been as they
-were, and which, as a rule, can be easily managed in a big house where
-the nurseries have been properly arranged for.
-
-Then, too, the position of the two rooms close together, and generally a
-little way removed from the rest of the house, though not at the top, I
-beg, makes them a most admirable place for an invalid to retire to;
-there is always a chance of illness--aye, even serious illness--as one
-gets on in life, and all sorts of disagreeable things remind one that
-one is not immortal; and though, as a rule, houses are built
-emphatically to live in, and neither to be ill nor die in--though,
-despite the architects, both these unpleasant matters are possible--one
-can generally in a large house manage that the nurseries shall be close
-together and quiet; therefore, they should be kept apart for our own
-use. We could be ill most comfortably in the night nursery, and
-convalescent in the day nursery, which could, however, be used for our
-nurse did we require one, and the cheerful pretty papers and the
-thoughts that would be inseparable from these rooms would alike help us
-to bear our woes, while we could have nurse to talk to and to ‘do for
-us’ as no one else could--no one who did not know us thoroughly, and,
-having seen us in sickness and in health, in adversity and prosperity,
-knows exactly what we can bear and how to manage us best.
-
-Thinking over everything, then, considering carefully what the nurseries
-have been and what they may be, I do most seriously beg all my
-contemporaries to pause a very long time before they lay a ruthless hand
-on what was once as sacred as a shrine. No amount of decoration can
-embellish walls decorated with the hopes and joys of our youth, and
-one’s first playing at Motherhood; no other paper and paint give us the
-idea, or remind us as do the old papers and paint, of a thousand and one
-things no one can possibly want to forget; not even the miseries endured
-during serious illness, the anxieties turned into joy, or may be
-deepened into dreadful gloom by death itself, should be forgotten; aye,
-a thousand times should they be remembered if this be the case, and,
-though this is an impatient age when no one wants to think, and when
-death is treated so lightly that people are in society and deepest black
-at the same time, and when all are so impatient of the sorrow death
-brings with it, that ‘no one stays at home except the corpse,’ I trust I
-shall not number many of them among my readers, or indeed anyone who
-cannot and will not thankfully remember their past, and as they grow
-old, Darby and Joan together, will not spare time to look back gladly
-and happily to days which were better, perhaps, than the present days of
-feeble steps and darkened lights, but which are no less happy if Edwin
-and Angelina are still hand int hand and heart to heart, and have proved
-for themselves the absolute truth that where marriage is begun in love,
-continued in love, and ended in love, it can never be anything save
-success, and that anyone who calls it a failure must know absolutely
-nothing whatever about it. To such a couple as this, the nurseries must
-always be sacred places, and they will be as reluctant as I am to do
-away with them. I think, therefore, I may take it for granted that
-unless absolutely pressed for room we shall retain our nurseries,
-keeping them fresh and bright and nice in case we are ill, or in case
-we have our grandchildren to see us, or in case we have small visitors,
-who, being provided with suitable rooms, are nothing but a pleasure to
-us, when otherwise they might be nothing except a trouble and a
-nuisance.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-THE GIRLS’ ROOM.
-
-
-In writing about the girls’ room, I mean to consider a great deal more
-than decoration, though naturally that will not be neglected, for I am
-more and more convinced as years go by that something definite must be
-done in the way of providing for the women who flood the market and
-struggle--alas! that it should be so--in the open streets with men for
-their living, instead of contenting themselves with being the helpmeets
-of those with whom they wage this unseemly warfare. I have a very strong
-opinion that people should not bring into the world any more children
-than they can reasonably hope to equip in some measure for the fight.
-Boys can always make their way, women cannot; and though I do not agree
-with Mr. Besant, who declares that women hate work and do not wish ever
-to do anything, I do think that no woman should be obliged to work for
-mere food and clothes--at all events in the ranks above the lower middle
-classes; and that no woman’s constitution can stand the anxiety of
-providing her own sustenance, and at the same time doing work to procure
-this sustenance; for anxiety paralyses a woman, and the more she is
-obliged to take thought for the morrow the less able is she to ensure
-the morrow’s being provided for by her work. She should, therefore,
-never be placed in a position in which she is literally forced out into
-public strife, unless from her very earliest days she has been brought
-up among workers and taught that her future can be nothing but severe
-toil.
-
-Can one speak too strongly of the wicked selfishness of people who bring
-ten or eleven children into the world, knowing that, were they to die
-to-morrow, the unhappy creatures would either starve, or do worse than
-starve in the workhouse or in one of those excellent and stony-hearted
-institutions where the child becomes a unit among hundreds of uniformed
-units, with never a pretty frock or sash among them, and never a chance
-of anything save work outside the walls and of an ultimate grave?--of
-the insensate and odious conduct of those parents who bring up their
-children to have every single thing they require, and then, when the
-girls do not marry and grow old at home, leave them penniless when
-totally unable to work, because they have never known they must--never
-have learned a single thing worth knowing, and that they must either
-starve genteelly or live on their overburdened relations, or add to the
-already fearful number of people who paint dreadful little tables and
-tambourines, sew infamously, or try the thousand and one ways of making
-a little money, which cheapen the market and bring institutions for the
-sale of work done by ladies into the profoundest contempt? I say that
-the State should interfere, and force a man to lay by for his daughters,
-at least so much that will keep them from such an end, or to give them
-such an education that at any moment they could work--could do the work
-that from their earliest days they should learn is waiting for them in
-the near future; and that if a man’s own sense will not teach him that
-he has no right to make helpless women suffer (as women must suffer who
-find themselves destitute in middle age), he should be treated like a
-criminal and punished by a jury, which should be composed of women who
-have suffered in their turn through their parents’ selfishness.
-Naturally this would be impossible, but I do wish men’s consciences
-could be awakened, and every successful man who is working hard,
-spending all he makes, and adding yearly to the frocked darlings in the
-nursery with scarcely an _arrière pensée_, would remember in the dead of
-the night, when one’s sins generally find one out, that the day of
-reckoning will come--that some day the children brought up in luxury and
-accustomed to think the world their own will be faded spinsters (for out
-of a large family some are sure to remain unmarried in these days), and
-that all the sweetness and light of the early life will be forgotten,
-and the father will be cursed when these faded, sorrowful women have to
-look forward to nothing but patient starvation or a corner grudged to
-them by their more successful relations, to whom they can never be
-anything save incumbrances; for these disappointed ones of the earth
-always resent prosperity in anyone else, and are apt to snarl and snap
-at those who dole them out the bread they so unwillingly take.
-
-Why should not the State compel every working man with two or more
-daughters (after two the case should be legislated for) to pay in a part
-of his income to some fund for providing for the women? And by working
-men I mean those who have no capital except their brains--the artists,
-lawyers, clergymen, professional men of all kinds, who have nothing but
-themselves to depend upon. The man making and spending his 1,500_l._ a
-year should be forced to put by at least 200_l._ a year for the poor
-girls who come into the world without their own consent, and who are
-left absolutely destitute, save of a certain amount of distaste for
-anything save enjoyment, and an absolute dislike of doing anything save
-just what it pleases them to do at the moment; while at the same time a
-properly mapped-out education should be provided that will enable them
-to earn something in addition to the pittance the State would be keeping
-for them against a rainy day, but which would be something on which they
-could rely with certainty, and which would allow them to contemplate
-possible illness without the deadly sinking that fills the breast of any
-woman who has absolutely nothing but her own self to rely upon, and who
-knows she must starve or seek the cold comfort of the corner mentioned
-before if she cannot continue her labour.
-
-I cannot put the case too strongly before the fathers and mothers who
-may read this book; for, after all, they must be their own State, and do
-their own legislating. They must not have enormous families that they
-cannot feed, clothe, or educate respectably; and they must so manage
-their affairs that the girls can rely on the 100_l._ a year, which is
-all I ask for--all that is absolutely necessary to keep a single woman
-in comfort, but not luxury; the luxuries must be earned or gone without.
-They must do this, I say, unless they wish to look down from whence they
-may go after death, and have their hearts lacerated and torn by the
-sight of the women they have left to starve and to curse those who have
-entailed so much misery on them. There surely would be some insurance
-company who would undertake to do for all what the Edinburgh Life
-Assurance Company, 11 King William Street, E.C., does for
-schoolmistresses who like to pay in a certain amount yearly--viz. pay
-them a pension at a certain age, or else a sum of money, whichever they
-prefer; and the parents could, as soon as they added another daughter to
-the household, begin providing for her. If they cannot do this, I
-maintain they are absolutely wicked in adding that little life to the
-overwhelming population already here.
-
-There is no misery to be compared to the misery of a woman who, never
-having imagined her future can be aught but a sheltered one, finds
-herself at middle age absolutely destitute and at the mercy of her
-relations. She has no claim on anyone but her parents, and she knows
-this, and suffers infinitely. Therefore those parents must contemplate
-this: must understand that marriage does not come to the lot of
-everyone, and that, even if it does, the woman should not go penniless
-to her husband, but should have some small allowance to enable her to
-feel independent, and to add to her house, or her children’s pleasures,
-out of her own resources. Here, again, I mention the 100_l._ a year.
-Each girl in an upper middle-class family--the professional man’s
-family--cannot possibly cost any amount less than that; in the case, of
-course, of some, 50_l._ would be amply sufficient, and this sum should
-be allowed yearly as long as the father lived; after which, insurance
-money should be forthcoming that would insure something at all events,
-if not quite as much as they have been having.
-
-If, however, it is absolutely impossible for a man to give his daughters
-anything--in which case they ought most distinctly never to have been
-born--he is bound to tell them so honestly from their earliest days, and
-he is equally bound to give them such an education that at any moment
-they can earn something, either as domestic servants--and, for my part,
-I would, and far rather, be a parlourmaid than a nursery governess--or
-as Board school teachers, designers, or as members of such of the home
-branches of toil as are open to women who cannot aspire to the higher
-education and the advantages of Girton and similar establishments.
-
-Of course the subject of woman’s work is one on which volumes have been
-written, and volumes might still be compiled from the same source, and I
-could not naturally go into all the _pros_ and _cons_ of each occupation
-in this chapter, even if I knew them all, which I do not; but I do
-strongly beg my readers to dissuade their girls from competing with the
-men; they only lower prices, and, finally, prevent the men from marrying
-them by giving themselves one less chance of fulfilling the proper end
-of their sex--viz. to make a home in the fullest sense of the word.
-There is plenty for women to do without scratching and fighting with the
-men. If only they can realise that fact I shall not have written in
-vain.
-
-I have had lately a great deal to do with women who have to earn their
-own living, and I have never found one who really could and would work
-at anything that turned up who could not add in an appreciable manner to
-her income; but I have also found hundreds who would not even try to do
-what I could offer them, but who preferred to dabble with paint, to
-embroider hideous cushions no one wants, and which cost pounds to make,
-to undertaking the ‘smocking,’ the upholstery, and, above all, the
-dressmaking and cooking with which any sensible woman, who is honest and
-hard-working, can keep herself and manage to get along comfortably. No;
-if they can’t get just the work they want, they will not take any; or,
-if they take it, they grumble; don’t return it at the time they promise;
-and, finally, are so unbusinesslike that their employers are in despair,
-and vow that, come what may, they will never employ a so-called lady
-again.
-
-And it is also astonishing to me how the mere fact of being gently born
-seems to these poor things to excuse all their failings. Rickety
-screens, impossible pictures, frightful woollies--all must be sold at a
-higher rate for them than for anyone else, because they are made by
-ladies. And so it should be if ladies understood that, because they are
-ladies, they should be more punctual and better workers than the poorer
-classes, if their ladyhood were a hall-mark instead of a screen for
-their misdemeanours. But they will not see this, and in consequence they
-bring discredit on their order, and make the very words ‘Poor lady!’
-synonymous with everything that is bad and absolutely unsaleable.
-
-To be a successful worker one must take the work which comes before one,
-and one must be trained to work, to punctuality, and to business habits;
-therefore, if there be one of the families of daughters no other nation
-produces in the reckless way our own does, it is imperative that the
-training to work begins in the nursery, and that the defenceless girls
-are given this equipment at least, even if the parents can do no more
-for them.
-
-The boys are born to work; they are carefully trained and brought up for
-this end, but there are hundreds of cases where the fathers have either
-been suddenly ruined or become poor through illness or their own
-selfishness, and who turn the girls out in their turn, and are much
-astonished when the poor things flounder hopelessly about and cannot
-keep themselves, because they have had absolutely no training which
-shall fit them for work.
-
-I feel, in writing this chapter, which concerns the girls of the
-household, that I cannot say too much about the subject of some
-provision being made for them, and that they should be relieved not only
-from the necessity of having to find a market for unskilled labour, but
-also from the trial of marrying if they do not want to do so, or if they
-do not see anyone they really love, because their parents are
-continually telling them it is their duty to marry in order to make room
-for their younger sisters.
-
-Now, incredible as it may sound to male ears, there are very many women
-to whom marriage and the obligations and responsibilities entailed
-thereby are absolutely distasteful and disagreeable. As a rule, these
-women make the best wives and house-mothers, but they are not the
-happiest people in the world, and would probably have been both happier
-and better had they followed out their own inclinations and lived their
-own lives in their own way, without the constant presence of a man and
-the unceasing cares of a household on their shoulders. They do not
-understand Love with a big L, and passion and they are strangers for
-ever, and always would be, but they marry at their parents’ request, to
-clear out the nest, and they certainly miss the higher happiness which,
-perchance, might have come had they waited, either from their work or
-from meeting the one individual who might have roused their sleeping
-souls and shown them a glimpse of the paradise that exists, I believe,
-for those lucky natures who understand what we may call the ‘Ouidaesque’
-aspect of the case; albeit I also think they use up rapidly in that
-short sojourn in Paradise, which serves more sober-minded folk for the
-whole of life’s journey. For myself I cannot speak. I am a prosaic,
-unsentimental individual, and so far have got on without sentiment very
-well indeed; but other people may not be as I am, and may endure misery
-by marrying the first man who asks them because they see plainly how
-desperately they are grudged the room in the house which should have
-been theirs for ever, and from which they should have been allowed to go
-reluctantly to the husband, who appreciates his wife a thousandfold if
-he understands he is only allowed possession on sufferance, and that she
-was wanted by her own people quite as badly as ever he could want her
-himself.
-
-And this brings me round to the question of giving the girls their own
-room in the house, where they can do just what they please, and where
-they can ask their own friends to tea should they desire to do so; not,
-however, in the American way, which empowers the young people to have
-festivals whenever they like, and to ask whom they like to them, but in
-a mitigated form, which compels them to ask permission to entertain, and
-furthermore to produce a list of names, so that full knowledge may be
-the mother’s portion, and that she may know exactly who is coming, and,
-moreover, what is going on. If the girls have their own sitting-room,
-they feel their residence under the paternal roof is meant to last as
-long as the roof itself, and they have not that hurried, disagreeable
-feeling some unfortunate girls must be given by the parents who make no
-provision for their permanent comfort, and who openly speak of what they
-shall do when So-and-so gets married; poor So-and-so, who has never had
-an offer in her life, and shrinks away from every man she sees, as she
-cannot help regarding him as the monster who carries off a damsel
-whether she wishes it or not, because the fetish of home has to be
-appeased, and the fabric kept together by the quick sacrifice of those
-who are old enough to be chained to the rock to await his advances.
-
-The home--of the making and the decorating, the management, and the
-keeping together of which I feel I can never say too much--cannot
-possibly be made too happy, too pleasant for the younger members of it;
-but they in their turn must understand that they, too, have their part
-in the whole to perform. The grown-up daughter in such a home is a most
-precious possession; she can save her mother endless trouble, she can
-and does take the burden of most of the detail on her shoulders, and for
-her, therefore, should be arranged some place, no matter how small, that
-she can call her own, and where she can in some measure do much as she
-likes, for she is sure to have some pet occupation--friends to write to,
-work to do, all sorts of things to see about, and which she can only
-attend to in a room set apart for her and her belongings.
-
-In many cases the schoolroom makes an admirable girls’ room, but should
-this room be occupied by the younger children when the elder daughter is
-‘out’ and requires a room to herself, a capital arrangement could be
-made for her by copying the French fashion of a boudoir-bedroom, an
-arrangement for which is illustrated here, and which my artist has
-adapted from a room I used to have in my Dorsetshire house, where space
-was a great object, and where the downstairs rooms were so badly managed
-that it was impossible to have a morning-room in which I could sit,
-although there were two tiny rooms beside the dining-and drawing-rooms,
-which we turned into bachelors’ bedrooms, and which constituted our only
-spare rooms for some time. These rooms were larger than need be bestowed
-on the eldest girl of a house, and were made by removing the partition
-between a bed-and dressing-room; the bed and dressing-table, which also
-served as a washhand-stand, were completely screened off by a long and
-very tall Japanese screen; the cabinet, which stands by the side of the
-bed, held a quantity of linen, &c., and always looked very decorative,
-and not in the least like the humble chest of drawers that it
-undoubtedly was; while the couch in the first window served as a sofa,
-and, furthermore, held any quantity of dresses, supplemented as it was
-by the cupboard, the doors of which are panelled with Japanese leather,
-put in nearly twenty years ago, and verily, I do believe, the very first
-doors in England that were ever treated in this manner. I never saw any
-elsewhere, though, of course, now to find a door with undecorated panels
-is rather an impossibility,
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 16.--Boudoir-Bedroom.]
-
-at all events in any house the owner of which aspires to be in the least
-degree artistic.
-
-The room illustrated here was papered with a very soft brown-and-gold
-paper, and had a dado of red-and-white matting, and a hideous shade of
-terra-cotta paint. In those days one could not find a ceiling paper
-anywhere, and I was obliged to content myself with a species of
-_café-au-lait_ wash on the ceiling, which much exercised the mind of the
-local decorator, to say nothing of my own, for though I knew I hated the
-ordinary whitewash, I did not quite know how to set about a change; but
-notwithstanding that, my _café-au-lait_ ceiling was rather smeary, and
-was profoundly jeered at by the good local housekeepers, to whom a
-spotless ceiling and a clear conscience were synonymous, and to whom
-anything new or strange meant undoubtedly an unsafe spiritual condition.
-The relief from the white glare of the ordinary ceiling was so great
-that I stuck to it manfully, and even added a blue ceiling to one of the
-other rooms until I came across a pretty paper, and had that put up, to
-the intense disgust of the builder and the open horror of the
-inhabitants, who since my day have papered their ceilings too, and done
-all sorts of other things which I used to preach in my bridal-days, but
-of which they took no heed until they saw me in print; then they were
-quite sure I was right, and began to alter their houses and make them
-prettier than they had ever been before.
-
-I should not now put terra-cotta and brown together, but that room
-somehow always looked very harmonious; the short frilled curtains were
-of a charming soft terra-cotta and white cretonne, which unfortunately
-has been out of stock for something like fourteen years. The muslin was
-a very soft Madras with frills also, and the couch was covered in the
-same patterned cretonne, only in blue and white; when the paper became
-shabby and a little dull I added a frieze of Japanese fans all round,
-and they gave just the colour I required to the room. One cannot somehow
-buy such good fans nowadays as those were, unfortunately; and this is
-not imagination, for I possess a good many of these identical ones now,
-and I can never find in any of the numerous Japanese shops which have
-succeeded Liberty & Hewitt, or I should say followed them, any paper
-fans that are half such good colours or such pretty designs as those
-which formed the frieze in that particular room. I had the floor covered
-entirely with matting, and rugs were placed about. The whole of the
-furniture, with the exception of the writing-table shown in window No.
-2, was wickerwork, and as in those days there was no Aspinall, I had to
-beg my varnished paint from the man who mended our carriages, and who
-could never produce anything except a very good black and a particularly
-awful blue, which I only tried once, and eschewed in favour of black,
-which remained on for years, and finally succumbed to the superior
-charms of Aspinall’s hedge-sparrow-egg blue and other delicate and
-pleasant colours.
-
-The shelves, both in the recesses by the fireplace and between the
-windows, will give an excellent idea how to manage these dwarf
-bookcases, which hold a quantity of books, while the tops serve as
-cabinets or stands for china. The corners of the room had a series of
-long wooden brackets in each, edged with frills of dark-blue velveteen,
-and the mantel-piece had on a painted board for the shelf edged with a
-deep frill or flounce, also of the same dark-blue velveteen; a narrow
-strip of looking-glass was placed along at the back, as overmantels were
-not invented, and I had always a horror of the great glass sheets then
-in vogue; while above that hung pictures, fans, &c., which made a
-species of overmantel arrangement for myself, with which I was quite
-satisfied. The room altogether always looked pretty and nice, and was
-much admired; it was always full of ferns and palms and flowers too,
-without which no room can ever look well, spend what one may on the
-furniture and decorations thereof. This species of boudoir-bedroom is
-always a capital possession, and were space no object in a house I
-should always arrange the bed-chambers in a similar manner: there should
-be a dressing-room and bath-room to each, where all the dressing
-operations could be carried on; and the bath should be shut off by
-double doors from the passage. Such an arrangement is quite delightful
-both for visitors and when one has to remain in one’s room from
-ill-health, for once up and on the sofa the whole appearance of a
-bedroom vanishes when the screen is in place, which is put straight
-along between the bed and the cabinet. All the housework is done behind
-the screen, the housemaids entering by the curtained door, and the
-invalid is not worried by the sight of bed-making operations, while her
-room always looks nice, and she can receive there anyone she may care to
-see, which she could not do were the room frankly a bed-chamber and
-nothing else.
-
-Of course on ordinary days the windows must be opened as soon as
-dressing is over, and left open for a good two hours’ spell of airing,
-and the room should not be sat in after tea or after luncheon if
-possible. This gives ample time for a due course of airing, the only
-objection anyone could make to this arrangement being that probably the
-room might be stuffy, or the air in it exhausted by being used during
-the day as well as slept in during the night. This objection vanishes
-into thin air when the windows are opened widely and kept open from
-about two till bedtime; indeed, I say after bedtime, for whatever the
-weather may be I have one window open all night, and whenever possible
-every window which will open remains so; indeed, one window in our
-present house has not been closed for a moment during three years.
-
-Now, in decorating a room on a smaller scale for a girl, her own
-individual taste should be in some measure consulted, but nothing can
-possibly be or look better than the delightful ‘Watteau’ paper, sold by
-Haines, at 2_s._ 6_d._ the piece. It is a paper of which one never
-tires, and has also the capital quality of being no distinct colour, and
-of allowing any colour being used in the room with it; while at the same
-time, should a distinct hue be desired, a room decorated with the
-‘Watteau’ paper can be made distinctly blue, moss-green or coral-pink,
-according to the manner in which the room is painted, or according to
-the frieze or dado selected. For example, the paper could be hung above
-a dado of cretonne sold by Shoolbred at 1_s._ 4½_d._ a yard, which
-almost matches the paper, the paint in this case being ivory, and the
-ceiling paper Land & Co.’s ‘Watteau’ in yellow and white, at 3_s._ the
-piece. The curtains could be either of the same cretonne or of a Louis
-XVI. brocade, sold by Colbourne at 2_s._ 11½_d._ a yard, double width.
-The floor could be covered with matting, and there should be some rugs
-about on the floor, thus making one decoration without any distinct
-colour. Another could be the ‘Watteau’ with a plain green frieze or a
-frieze of Haines ‘rose’ paper, at 10_s._ a piece. This is run round the
-room, not put on in strips like wall-paper, and therefore would not be
-as expensive as it sounds. The frieze-rail and all the woodwork could be
-stained green with Jackson’s malachite green stain; the ceiling paper
-could be pink and white; the carpet, Wallace’s green ‘lily;’ and the
-chairs could be stained green, and upholstered either in the pinky
-terra-cotta Louis XVI. brocade, of which the curtains could be made, or
-else of the ‘Watteau’ cretonne mentioned above. The bed should be
-covered with a worked quilt--a good occupation for any girl would it be
-to make such quilts; while the towels and pillow-cases should all bear
-embroidered monograms, marking-ink being a positive badge of disgrace in
-a household where there should be useful fingers.
-
-There are a great many floral papers, such as the ‘rose,’ at 3_s._
-9_d._, sold by Giles; the ‘carnation,’ sold by Maple; and the ‘wild
-rose,’ sold by Haines, which are all charming for such rooms, or,
-indeed, for any room; but should a severer form of decoration be
-required, my readers cannot go wrong with any of Pither’s papers, or of
-Liberty’s new damasque papers, which are all as good and artistic as
-they can be, and which can be used fearlessly by anyone who is not sure
-enough of his own taste to allow himself to select a paper on his own
-account, or has not time and patience to encounter the invariable battle
-with the decorator, who will not produce, until he is absolutely
-obliged, any paper on which he cannot see his way to making an
-exorbitant profit, and who sets forth paper after paper, trusting to his
-own ingenuity and his powers of wearying his victim to enable him to
-sell some venerable ‘shopkeeper’ which has long vexed his soul by its
-unremunerative existence on some back shelf.
-
-I am delighted myself with Liberty’s damasque papers, which have only
-been brought out since I wrote my first book, and which, therefore, have
-not had the honourable mention there that they so very richly deserve to
-have had, the blue and silver ‘tulip damasque,’ at 2_s._, being a
-perfect paper, and one that would be quite satisfactory in a
-boudoir-bedroom, unless it happened to be a very small one; in that case
-the blue and silver marigold, at 1_s._ 6_d._, would do equally well.
-With these papers a dado is imperative, as I do not consider they have
-sufficient substance in them to withstand the wear and tear inseparable
-from their position at the base of the wall. A dado of Treloar’s thin
-matting or of a good red-and-gold Japanese paper would look well. With
-the matting the paint should be ivory, with the leather paper a good red
-paint should be selected which will harmonise with the blue. In any case
-a red carpet, such as Pither’s dull red ‘cottage’ carpet, or Wallace’s
-dull red ‘anemone,’ should be selected, and the curtains should be the
-same red in serge, or else in a dull blue cretonne, the ‘algæ’ made on
-purpose to harmonise with this paper by Oetzmann.
-
-The planning and talking over the arrangement of this room will be a
-great amusement both to mother and daughter, and I strongly recommend
-the mother to attempt nothing in the way of a surprise, but to frankly
-take her daughter into her confidence and consult her tastes on the
-subject if she wishes the room to be a real success. I am compelled to
-recommend this course from an experience of my own, because I have never
-forgotten my unconcealable dismay at returning home after a long visit
-to find my own mother had planned such a surprise for me, but had in all
-innocence, and with such kindness, done such dreadful things to my pet
-belongings that I often recall the remembrance of my start of horror and
-exclamation of dismay with the profoundest contrition, for I did not
-know then what I have only realised in after years, that I must have
-pained her dreadfully, for, dear soul, she had done all the renovations
-out of her own savings, and had taken much trouble and pains about it,
-and I could not help saying, ‘Oh, why did you let them do this?’ before
-I realised that this was a surprise, and I ought to have been enchanted
-instead of dismayed at her renovations--renovations that were in
-absolute good taste, for her taste was perfect, and her house charming
-long before anyone else cared for their house, but which somehow were
-not my ideas, and which annoyed me dreadfully because the arrangements
-were not mine at all, and which I never dared alter afterwards, because
-I had already received the changes so ungraciously, instead of realising
-that I should have been enchanted with the forethought and goodness
-which had prepared all this for me.
-
-Remembering my own reception of a similar surprise, therefore advise
-that the daughter should be consulted in every way about the room she is
-to inhabit, unless, of course, she has no tastes of her own, and does
-not care what the room looks like so long as she has it to herself; then
-the room can be made as pretty as the mother likes. But there are few
-girls nowadays who do not care for their rooms, and are not as eager as
-anyone else to make themselves a pretty nest that they may regard as
-their own, and not as a perch on which they rest on sufferance until
-they are pushed out by the on-coming juniors into the arms of the first
-man who appears in the least degree anxious to have her for a wife.
-
-I do hope that, whatever else happens, the daughters of the household
-may never be sent away to schools, or urged at a high school to overwork
-their brains and go in for those wretched competitive examinations. I am
-no advocate for the higher education of women, for votes for women, for
-anything which shall take them out of the sheltered home atmosphere,
-where women alone can breathe comfortably and live properly, and force
-them into the arena of life; and I do hope mothers who may read this
-book will consider what they are doing when they force their girls
-forward, and delight in the hard work and successful examinations which
-ruin their constitutions, and make them irritable and nervous and old
-before their time. I know only too well that there are women who are
-compelled to work, but I shall always maintain this should not be; and,
-to return once more to the subject with which I began my chapter, I
-state boldly that neither would they be were the families of English
-people smaller, and were we less extravagant, less determined to snatch
-all we can from life, doing absolutely nothing for ourselves that we can
-get someone else to do for us. Why, I know myself one family of five or
-six daughters who, if their father died to-morrow, would not have 50_l._
-a year, yet who go out night after night to balls, who take cabs at
-every moment, never saving a shilling, who are waited upon by half a
-dozen servants, and yet who ought to do the housework themselves, who
-ought to be content with a quarter of the gaiety they insist upon. The
-poor silly things even went to Court, though, Heaven knows, the Queen
-would have sent them back again had she known what their dresses
-cost--a price, moreover, that would never be paid--and who finally
-would have far more chance of happy marriage than they have now, when
-every man they know looks askance at their garments, and then at their
-father’s worried face, and avoids them, justly declining to put
-themselves in the noose which is round his neck, and which will surely
-kill him, even if he can keep his head above water for much longer. This
-case is the case of hundreds of families at present, and therefore I
-feel I cannot say too much about it, and I do hope mothers will
-therefore think a little more about their daughters, and endeavour to
-restore a little of the quiet and simplicity which are almost extinct in
-this rushing era of ours, and which can never be found among those who
-are cast out from the shelter of home and forced into competition--a
-competition that is as odious as it is unnecessary in most girls’ lives,
-and that would be altogether unnecessary were there fewer girls in the
-world, and were we content to spend one quarter of the money we do on
-all sorts of nonsense and on extra servants, who only make our daughters
-lazy and luxurious when they ought undoubtedly to be up and doing.
-
-The moment a girl leaves the control of the schoolroom and the watchful
-eye of the governess she should be told that, though now she is to some
-extent her own mistress, she must not consider her education finished,
-but rather that the real part of education is just beginning, and that
-it is absolutely necessary that every day should begin with some steady
-work; and it is also well that some definite rule should be made on this
-subject: certain small household duties should be given to her, and
-certain studies should be continued, leaving it to her to select in some
-measure what those studies shall be.
-
-Now in the richest households there are many things which should never
-be left to servants if one wishes the house to look like the abode of a
-lady, and not of a _nouveau riche_ one, the principal one in my eyes
-being the arrangement of the flowers. The best gardener in the world has
-only a gardener’s ideas, and cannot know what to bring in and how to
-place what he brings in in an absolutely satisfactory way, and, as dead
-flowers and fading plants are disgraceful and worse than an utter
-absence of floral decoration, the first duty a girl should undertake is
-that of going round the rooms the moment breakfast is over, to decide
-which plants are to be removed and which vases should be refilled. In
-the country the gardener should wait her orders, and have the flowers
-gathered dry and before the heat of the sun is on them, and should
-himself exchange the plants, the position of them being determined by
-his mistress, as the arrangement of the flowers should be left to her
-alone. If done systematically in the manner here indicated, all the
-house will look fresh and nice, and there would be no chance of
-overwork.
-
-To arrange the flowers an old dress should be worn, also a large apron
-and sleeves should be donned. Despite the fact that the gardener should
-bring in the flowers, there is always something extra to gather at the
-last moment, and one rushes out, gets one’s skirts covered with damp
-mould and dew from the grass, or shakes down a quart or so of water from
-the trees all over one, and a dress is spoiled in a moment--a serious
-matter at all times, but something more than serious when one has
-forestalled one’s allowance, and can’t afford another garment anyhow.
-
-The arrangement of the flowers in most houses nowadays would occupy at
-least an hour, after which the girl should sit down for a steady read at
-some standard work carefully chosen for her, or else to any sewing work
-she may care for; then she should take up her hobby--and I trust she may
-have one for her own sake--and she should either practise, paint or
-write, or do anything she likes (save read novels) until the hour before
-luncheon, when she _must_ go out. If she be wise she will continue her
-regular walk with the schoolroom party; if not, she must be sent out to
-see her friends, do ‘errands’ about the village or town, or else arrange
-for a game at tennis--anything to ensure some exercise. The girls of the
-present day don’t care for walks for walking’s sake, but they must have
-open-air exercise somehow, whether they care for it or not.
-
-In London, I maintain, any girl who knows how to behave, and who is told
-plainly how to conduct herself, can safely go about the streets alone
-from the day she is eighteen. I have done so ever since I can remember,
-and though I do not consider myself lovely, I certainly was nice-looking
-(please, I am not conceited), and I never met with any adventure of the
-very smallest kind; and given a straightforward walk, an air of having
-something to do and doing it, no peeping into shop-windows, for example,
-and not a suspicion of loitering anywhere, I maintain any ordinary girl
-can go about alone perfectly, should it be inconvenient to send someone
-with her, or should she have no girl friend or sister with whom to walk;
-anyhow, London is much safer than the country, with its crawling tramps
-and its suspicious cows at every corner, to say nothing of mad bulls and
-dogs and all kinds of perilous adventures.
-
-The morning walk disposed of, after luncheon then could come any
-pleasures. There are sure to be calls to be made, tennis to go to,
-afternoon parties, concerts, and all kinds of small dissipations; then
-would come dinner, after which, if there were no going out, amusing
-books could be allowed, and, in fact, any amusement that she
-particularly cares for should now be indulged in. The evenings should be
-entirely her own; and if she has any hobbies, and wishes to continue the
-morning’s work, let her do so. You will very likely be as glad to be
-left alone for a little with your husband as she is anxious to return to
-her own quarters and resume the special employments on which she was
-engaged.
-
-I am now writing about those lucky girls who have an assured future of
-some kind, who, though they may not be rich should their father die,
-will not have to join in the fearful battle for bread, and who should
-represent the sex universally had I my way; and, therefore, I do not
-dwell on the necessity for toil that would be inevitable were the girls’
-parents aware of the sword hanging over their heads. In this case the
-girls should know the truth, and should themselves elect whether they
-should prepare armour against the fray, or hang about, hoping against
-hope that they may be married before the evil days that must come fall
-upon the household. But girls who are pretty well off, and who, as I
-said before, cannot starve if their parents die, should still endeavour
-to find some real occupation for themselves; they may never want to make
-much money by it, but they should always be able to save money by it;
-and if they cannot do anything definite, or that will be likely to be
-heard of in the world, they should cultivate their fingers, and should
-learn to embroider and sew, in order that their room at first, and their
-houses afterwards, should be made beautiful by them, and should show
-evidences of their industry, and the excellent uses they have made of
-their time.
-
-Make the girls’ room pretty, and the girls will like to sit there and
-spend their time carefully within the charming walls; but do not for one
-moment tolerate laziness, lounging, or novel-reading; and as long as the
-girls are at home, see that the mornings, at all events, are properly
-employed. The results of the day should be seen, should be inspected,
-and the masters or mistresses, who should still attend to continue some
-lessons (German, music, and painting being the best, I think), should be
-interviewed now and again about the progress of the pupil; and a
-watchful but not inquisitorial eye should be kept on all that goes on in
-the room, else we shall find it turned into a rubbish-place, or a spot
-where all is play and nothing useful is ever done.
-
-Lessons in dressmaking and in cooking should be given, if possible, to
-every girl; and she should also at the earliest age possible be taught
-to knit socks and stockings, and, above all, she should, in the very
-fullest sense of the word, learn her duty to her neighbours, and be
-taught that her superior advantages both of time and money should be
-tithed for those whose lives lack so much, and could be made so very
-much brighter were we all to do our duty by them. I am not an advocate
-for slumming; I do not consider any girl should have a district, and,
-unless in the country, Sunday-school teaching is not always to be
-attempted; but some part of the day should be set aside, either for
-working for the poor--amply represented to me by the Sisters at the
-Kilburn Orphanage--or in making some life brighter. In the country it is
-easy to collect flowers for hospitals, or to ask dwellers in courts to
-tea in the garden in London, to make things which will be useful, and to
-take girls and boys occasionally to some museum or picture gallery, just
-for an hour’s change from the crowded streets.
-
-I think girls should always do one thing during the day, as a matter of
-custom, for the poor; but whatever is done should be done under some
-direction. Young folks are enthusiastic and hurried, and often do more
-harm than good by indiscriminate charity. But then the clergyman of the
-parish can sometimes be consulted, and when he cannot, I say, Send to
-Kilburn, to the Orphanage in Randolph Gardens. There, without
-consideration of creed, with large and vigorous minds and hearts, all
-are helped; and all work can be used, all help received, with the
-perfect assurance that what we send there will emphatically reach those
-for whom it is meant, and that there are no highly paid secretaries to
-come before the poor and suffering.
-
-These are all large matters to be discussed in this book, but I cannot
-think they are out of place. I am thankful to say that far more people
-trouble themselves now about their poorer neighbours than in bygone
-days; that rich men realise that they are only stewards of their
-property, and that they should administer their goods for the poor as
-well as for themselves; that while the owner of a large park and
-magnificent pictures is not bound to cut up the former for
-allotment-grounds, or distribute the latter among the denizens of
-Whitechapel, he is bound to allow them to see both, under proper
-control, whenever he is called upon to do so; that garden-parties for
-the poor are far more necessary than garden-parties for the rich; and
-that all who regard life rightfully and have had a large share of life’s
-best things are bound, by their duty to God and their neighbour, to
-administer them in some measure for the poor, who will gradually become
-more fit to share them as we show them our possessions and teach them
-how to regard them properly. Under these circumstances there is great
-hope that our girls may advance farther than we have done, and, being
-most carefully trained from their earliest days to remember God’s poor,
-may do so as a matter of course, and may consider that day wasted indeed
-which cannot show at least one thing done to alleviate some of the
-misery and poverty there is in this overcrowded world of ours.
-
-The weaker sex indeed! We may be weak physically--we are, we allow that;
-we allow that our impulsiveness, our weakness, our very structure,
-forbids us battling with the men, shoulder to shoulder, in that dreadful
-scrimmage for life in which some women would cast us all; and all we beg
-is to be allowed to confess that, and have some shelter provided for us,
-where we can do our part of the world’s work--our part, that a weak mind
-cannot undertake, but that is essentially the woman’s part--the part of
-beautifier of the home and administrator of the finances, and, through
-the home, of the outside world, too, where we see all men as our
-brothers and sisters, and where we recognise our place as helpers (not
-rivals), of consolers (not competitors) of the men, who should do the
-sheltering and home-providing that no woman, except under most
-exceptional circumstances, can possibly manage by herself alone.
-
-Therefore, if all who have girls remember this, and instil in their
-hearts the fact that we want them at home, that even if they should not
-marry or become senior wranglers, or anything else equally prominent and
-unpleasant, their lives can be busy and useful and fully occupied, and
-of infinite use in their generation, we shall do something for the world
-at large even if we let all this grow only out of the innocent
-preparation of the girls’ room when they have reached the end of the
-first stage of their life, and become in some measure mistresses of
-themselves. But, for fear I may be considered too solemn and serious,
-and for fear that my readers may think I am adverse to gaiety, and would
-not let girls enjoy themselves under any circumstances whatever, I will
-finish this chapter, and pass on to consider far more frivolous
-things--namely, how to manage one’s dress allowance, and, furthermore,
-how best to arrange for any festivities we may be able to afford when we
-have maidens in the household who are anxious to ‘come out.’
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-COMING-OUT AND DRESS.
-
-
-I always regard the expression ‘coming-out’ as rather a ridiculous one,
-when used by the ordinary upper middle-class household; yet, as it has
-become a recognised part of our vocabulary, I suppose we must all adopt
-it when we talk of that enchanting period of a girl’s life which occurs
-when she is about eighteen, and is in some measure emancipated from the
-control and ever-watchful care which have been her portion from the day
-she was born until the joyful moment arrives when the books may be
-closed and the schoolroom-door shut, and she takes her place among her
-elders as a right, and not on sufferance any more.
-
-Here I should like to pause for a moment to impress upon all mothers
-who may read my book that a girl should remain absolutely in the
-schoolroom until she reaches her eighteenth birthday; the longer she can
-be kept from the turmoil of life, from the shams and wearinesses of
-ordinary society, and from any temptations to shirk her education, the
-better. She will not be pleased with her mother at the time; she will
-think regretfully and, may be, angrily of those of her less guarded,
-more ‘fortunate’ (?) friends, who are ‘all over the place’ at seventeen,
-who never read an instructive book or think of anything save dress,
-admirers, and what dissipation is in store for them next; but when she
-looks back at her girlhood from the altitude of that calm, sheltered
-middle-age I wish for all girls for whom I care, she will see what she
-has to thank her mother for, and all the disagreeable feelings she had
-then towards her will be atoned for a thousandfold in the flood of
-grateful affection which will fill her heart, and in the love which she
-will entertain for one who trained her so carefully, and who cared for
-no present lack of affection, because she knew quite well she would
-infallibly and at no very late date reap her reward.
-
-The years from sixteen to eighteen are undoubtedly the years during
-which a girl learns most, and in a properly guarded household she would
-then comprehend more fully than at any other time how necessary it is to
-use every moment for the best. She would form habits of study,
-regularity, and appreciation of what is best in art and literature which
-she would never lose, and which would only develop as years went on; and
-she would, furthermore, lay in a stock of health, on which she could
-draw at will when the real stress of living begins, and she finds
-herself in her turn with a heavy burden of real work on her shoulders,
-and has a house to manage, a husband to please, and children to bring
-forth and care for unceasingly.
-
-And this latter is the strongest argument I can use against girls being
-‘brought out’ too young; if they are they may marry. I knew one parent
-criminal enough to allow a child of sixteen to take upon herself this
-burden; and should they marry and have children they entail on
-themselves and on unborn generations misery compared with which a life
-spent always in the schoolroom would be a life of Elysian and purest
-delight.
-
-The first thing to consider with our girls is their health: let that
-stand before every single thing; dress them as little mites carefully
-and warmly; as young girls insist on warm clothing and perpetually dry
-feet and skirts; never allow a game of tennis on a damp lawn to pass by
-without seeing that no damage is done thereby; and then, furthermore,
-insist on early bed until the lesson-time is over; allow no dances of
-any kind, forbid entirely the children’s parties, which are at the root
-of half the epidemics, the affectations and the bad manners of the
-present day; while you take care that pleasant companionship, treats in
-the shape of afternoon concerts or plays, or tennis-parties with
-children their own age, these give the necessary relaxation, and you can
-face the ‘coming-out’ gaieties with a light heart, knowing quite well
-that your daughter has the necessary physique to stand the strain, and
-that she has arrived at a common-sense age, and will be able to know
-when she has had enough pleasure, the while she will care herself for
-something beside balls and parties, albeit she will in no measure
-despise a proper allowance of both.
-
-I am no Puritan; I do not object to dancing or theatres, or any other
-amusement, but I do plead for moderation in all things, and that a girl
-may have time for something beside mere play. I ask it not only because
-their mental health must suffer, but because their physique cannot
-possibly stand that present strain and yet remain intact ready to bear
-the yet greater strain to which most women are exposed during their
-married life. I know only too well what an uncontrolled girlhood and
-unending gaieties did for me, and I am only again writing out of my own
-experience in the hope that I may save some few girls from the misery in
-store for them if they begin their fashionable life before they are
-eighteen and if, when they begin it, they have no moderation about it,
-and go from ball to ball, party to party, until their faces become thin
-and wretched, their bloom goes, their tempers and noses sharpen
-together, and they are unstrung and miserable just at the time when life
-demands most from them, and they ought to be as well and happy as they
-are miserable, nervous, and broken in spirits and in health.
-
-I actually have known one mother introduce her daughter at seventeen
-because the next daughter was far prettier, and she wished to give No.
-1 ‘a chance’ before No. 2 appeared on the scene. Can anything be more
-ignoble than that? And it is to save both mothers and daughters from a
-similar fate to that which will overtake this couple that I am pleading
-for the girls; that, in fact, they may be saved from themselves by the
-prompt action of those who ought to be the first to shield their
-children from a too early contact with the world.
-
-I should myself keep a girl to regular hours until she was eighteen, but
-even after that, as I have shown in my last chapter, she should have
-employment and occupation. Until she was eighteen she should never be in
-bed later than 9.30, and she should always be down at 8.30, while she
-ought never to be allowed to go to any large dance before then. Small
-ones, ending at 11, should be very sparsely attended, and those not at
-all until she was past seventeen. When the auspicious date of her
-eighteenth birthday draws near, a great effort should be made to
-celebrate it properly. On that date a girl comes into her kingdom,
-accepts at your hands the sceptre of self-rule and the crown of an
-educated and well-guarded girlhood, and certainly some special notice
-should be taken of such an occasion.
-
-Not, please, by her being presented at Court; the present-day rush of
-the wives of wine merchants, successful upholsterers, and tradesmen of
-all kinds has made what was once a stately and beautiful ceremony a
-mockery indeed. Of course girls whose parents are about the Court, who
-have long pedigrees and ancient titles, are bound to be introduced to
-the Head of Society and to take their places round the throne; but just
-think for a moment what it means to the ordinary middle-class family,
-the frightful expense, the worry and strain of the presentation, the
-fatigue and showing off at the ‘Drawing Room teas’ afterwards, and,
-finally, the dead and unpleasant certainty that they will never be asked
-to one Court function, that they are no nearer being the bosom friend of
-the princesses than they were before, and that their social status has
-not been improved in the least; indeed, it has gone down, for old
-friends sneer at the foolishness and scoff when they see the name in the
-paper, remembering with redoubled force the counters of the wine
-merchant and shopkeeper, which would have been entirely forgotten had
-not the ‘fierce light which beats upon the throne’ been reflected on
-those who approach it and shown up the flaws in the pedigree which were
-on the way to oblivion, but which give ample scope for scoffing from the
-very lips which are drinking the tea at the ‘reception’ after the
-Drawing Room, where all are wondering what the dresses cost, and whether
-Jones or Smith, as the case may be, will last over the season, or
-whether he will marry off his daughters before the crash comes and all
-go under together!
-
-Remember, I am not scoffing at trade; it would ill become me to do so;
-but I am simply asking my readers to be sensible and to be frankly and
-absolutely themselves. Personally I would far rather pin my rights to
-being a lady on the fact that art and literature have been my sponsors
-than on being the great-great-granddaughter of a king’s mistress or a
-ruffianly robber of other men’s goods; but that has nothing to do with
-the subject. A waiter on courts should have business at those courts;
-therefore I say that those who cannot consider themselves owing the
-Queen a call, and the courtesy of showing her their girls as they grow
-up to take their places, either as friends or servants, have any right
-to go there, and that they had much better stay at home and not make
-themselves ridiculous by an attempt to be and seem what they can never
-really be.
-
-Let us suppose that our eloquence has prevailed, and that the girl has
-reached her eighteenth birthday, and there is no talk of her being
-presented, or any such nonsense; but still something must be done to
-celebrate the auspicious event. If the birthday is in autumn or winter,
-or very early spring, there is no reason why a dance should not be
-indulged in, more especially if it can be afforded, or if there is room
-for such dissipation. These two things are, of course, to be considered
-before anything else.
-
-A ball can cost any sum anyone likes to spend on it; all depends on the
-purse and the ideas. If we engage a good hall and band, go in for a
-regular and first-rate supper, any amount of flowers, and so on, I
-tremble to think what the bills may come to; but all can be ascertained
-by writing to the different places where such things are to be found.
-Gunter will give an estimate per head for the supper; the Prince’s Hall
-secretary will tell you the charges per night; Mrs. Green, of Crawford
-Street, W., will tell you what her fee for decorating the room would be;
-and Mitchell, of Bond Street, would provide the band. But people who can
-afford to arrange matters _en grand seigneur_ are not likely to come to
-me for advice; if they did, I should only hand them over to the
-above-named authorities. Still, if these lucky folk should come across
-my book, this will tell them what to do. But ordinary folk can give a
-very enjoyable dance for a little over 50_l._ to about 125 people,
-making the hours from eight to twelve, and having a stand-up supper at
-about 5_s._ a head, ending up with soup just before the guests start for
-home; and I fancy that, if one had a sufficiently large house, and could
-manage the supper oneself, it could be done for very much less,
-particularly if one has a stand-up supper, which is really all that can
-be required when people have dined late, and only want something to
-carry them over the later hours and the extra amount of fatigue.
-
-To make such a dance a success, the floor must be perfect, a band of
-from three to five performers engaged, and people must be thoroughly
-well introduced to each other, and, if possible, no girl must be seen
-sitting out without a valiant struggle on the part of the hostess to
-prevent such a sad occurrence by finding her a partner. I cannot
-countenance or believe in dances, or, in fact, any social gathering,
-where there are no introductions; it is simply an excuse for laziness on
-the part of the hostess, which all too often condemns her guests to a
-great deal of misery and dulness. Of course the theory is a perfectly
-correct one; the practice, however, cannot, in my opinion, be too
-heartily condemned. There will always be _débutantes_ and shy girls who
-know very few people, and these cannot possibly dance unless we see they
-know men to dance with.
-
-Is there any misery like the misery of a girl who is dying to dance, who
-loves the exercise for its own sake, and who has to sit out on a bench,
-her feet impatiently tapping the floor, and her little heart ready to
-break with disappointment, while she sees married women, who ought to
-know better, and who ought never to dance at all as long as a girl is
-sitting out, prancing all about the place and caring nothing for the
-poor young things whose day it is? As long as they enjoy themselves,
-that is quite enough for them.
-
-The watchful hostess will have none of these engaging little ways at her
-dances: the girls are provided for first, the matrons after; and as this
-would be impossible were introductions done away with, I would impress
-upon my readers to cling to this old fashion, and to see that the girls
-enjoy themselves, no matter who else do not. Except as chaperons married
-women are out of place in the ballroom, and should not be encouraged to
-come there; if they do their duty by their homes, their husbands, and
-their children, they could have neither time nor inclination for such a
-pursuit.
-
-When my own daughter ‘came out’ the other day, we had about 125 people
-to a dance in Watford, and it cost us just under 50_l._ Because our
-house was too small to have any festivity in, we had to engage rooms,
-which cost about 5_l._; the supper cost about 25_l._, at 5_s._ a head,
-including soup, aërated waters, and waiters, and a certain amount of
-decoration for the approach, anterooms, &c. We had plenty of moss,
-plants, &c., which our own gardener arranged. The local band of three
-performers cost 3_l._ 3_s._, and the rest went for wine, programmes, and
-odds and ends generally. The dance was certainly most successful, and
-went off very well, and was quite as much as we could afford. Naturally
-I should have preferred much grander doings--a first-rate supper, the
-‘Blue Hungarian’ band, or any other excellent one; but it would have
-been foolish to refuse to entertain at all because we could not manage
-these gorgeous details--details that were as much above our means as
-they would have been quite unnecessary in Watford.
-
-But the dance was successful, because the girls were pretty and the men
-pleasant, because old friends came down and rallied round us, and
-because we all saw the girls did not sit down once, that there was no
-flagging, and that all who could be introduced were made to know each
-other. I dare say there were plenty of people who wondered they did not
-have a gorgeous supper, but I do not care if they did, and I certainly
-am never going to precipitate myself head first into the Bankruptcy
-Court because someone else gives what, no doubt, they can well afford
-to do, but which I could not, and which, were I to do, I should soon
-come utterly to an end.
-
-I mention all these personal details to show that what we did can be
-done by other people, certainly by people who have a big house and
-plenty of servants, at a moderate cost, and I hope I shall not have
-become a ‘mock of many’ because of all I have said; but as I always
-think personal experience frankly given is worth any amount of polite
-theory, I give my experience here as elsewhere, hoping that it may be of
-use to many beside myself.
-
-If the damsel is born in the summer, I strongly advise a tennis-or
-garden-party, though, alas! in this climate we are so dependent upon the
-weather that I mention this with a certain amount of diffidence; but
-given one of the lovely June days Nature sometimes kindly dowers us
-with, and can anything on earth be pleasanter than one of these
-al-fresco gatherings may be if properly managed?
-
-The garden is looking its best, and, if the seats are judiciously
-arranged and a proper amount of amusement legislated for, the hostess
-can greet her friends with a light heart; she can be quite sure of a
-successful party without too much trouble or expense on her part.
-
-The refreshments should be either in a tent on the lawn or else in any
-room that may open out into the garden. Should there be no such room, I
-strongly advise the tent to be procured (one can always be borrowed at a
-most reasonable expense), as, if the refreshments are not easily
-accessible, the party becomes scattered: the timid do not like to
-separate themselves and go in search of sustenance, while the greedy can
-seclude themselves and snatch an undue share of the good things prepared
-for the entire company.
-
-Given the tent, or the room, and we can proceed to place very long and
-narrow tables there, which we should decorate with as many flowers as we
-possibly can get together, and should we have very many Londoners coming
-to our gathering we should put a host of the little baskets Whiteley
-sells for about 4½_d._ a set under the tables, and fill them at parting
-with what we garnished the tables with. Roses and lilies and greenery
-are not to be despised in London, and our friends will come down to us
-cheerfully another year if they carry away a sweetly-scented souvenir
-of our last gathering. People don’t mind carrying flowers, and we can
-always spare those we have used for garnishing the table.
-
-Among the flowers we should put large imari bowls of strawberries and
-cream ready for ladling out on small dishes; the strawberries should be
-denuded of their hulls, and the whipped cream, which can be thickened
-with white of egg and made palatable with sugar, should be piled high on
-the fruit, which, of course, should be unbroken. If a refrigerator is
-handy, the prepared fruit should be kept there until the last moment,
-and only produced when the guests have begun to assemble, the places for
-the bowls being kept by plates to prevent the symmetry of the table
-being spoiled by a careless or hurried maid-servant.
-
-I strongly advise all the cakes being bought from Buszard, who will,
-moreover, tell you honestly the amount of the different kinds you should
-have for the number you expect; and, as a rule, you should prepare for a
-few more folks than you have down on your list. If a very fine day
-people often bring friends with them. I personally like them to do this,
-and if you yourself happen to know anyone who possesses little girls,
-and who is coming herself, I advise you to ask her to bring the
-children. Well-brought-up children are delightful additions to a
-garden-party; they look like bright butterflies flitting about, and
-should therefore be encouraged to come, not by a written invitation,
-which would make them unduly prominent and of consequence in their own
-eyes, but by a casual mention, which cannot inflate them, and yet will
-show they have been thought about by us. Beside the fruit and cakes, a
-little finely cut and rolled brown bread and butter should be prepared,
-but only a little; few people eat it; as a rule it spoils their gloves,
-and they do not want it, and it is wasted if left, and if the weather is
-really summerlike and hot, ices should be provided, and also iced
-lemonade, gingerbeer, and claret-cup. No other wine is requisite. And as
-wine is frightfully dear, and should never be given unless really good,
-I advise it being omitted altogether, unless expense is no object. When
-the garden-party can be from 6 to 9.30 the garden could be illuminated
-with coloured lamps, and a cold supper succeed the tea. This, of
-course, is the ideal garden-party, but one which is out of the reach of
-most people who have a great many friends, and want to see them without
-an undue and enormous expense.
-
-The tennis-courts, of course, should be swept and garnished and newly
-marked out for the occasion, and several enthusiasts over this (to me,
-idiotic) game should be told off to see that all who want to play can do
-so. If this is not done, we shall be vexed by seeing this game, which is
-so dear to so many, quite left alone; and I defy any hostess to attend
-to her guests and keep the tennis-balls rolling at the same time. She
-must engage the help of her younger guests, and to them must be left the
-everlasting trouble of making up the sets, which seem to me to have only
-just begun as they are finished. Now, in the dear departed days of
-croquet, a hostess had nothing to do but make up the sets of eight and
-set them going. She saw nothing more of her guests, a well-played set of
-eight lasting quite as long as the garden-party itself could be expected
-to do.
-
-Anyhow, there must be something beside tennis to amuse our guests, and I
-think a band is almost a necessity, particularly if one is blessed with
-a decent local band; then the expense will not be ruinous. One can get
-an excellent string band from town for about 20_l._ I particularly like
-Mrs. Hunt’s ladies’ orchestra (_Les Merveilleuses_), all particulars of
-which can be had from the secretary, or from Chappell & Co., New Bond
-Street; but sometimes it is as well to encourage local talent if one can
-do so without fatal effects, when for 5_l._ you can have a good deal of
-music, always a cheerful matter, and can sometimes have very good music
-too. But a local band should always be put a good way off, distance, as
-a rule, lending an immense amount of enchantment to their productions.
-
-I think also that some of the charming open-air scenes from Shakespeare
-can be given with great effect. I also am very fond of Mendelssohn’s
-open-air glees; and some recitations are often amusing. But should these
-latter be indulged in, let me beg that the hostess knows beforehand
-something about them, else will her fate be what mine was once, when an
-enthusiast began a long, long, long poem. I don’t know to this day what
-it was, whether it was meant to be pathetic or comic or not, but I do
-know my agonies were awful, and that I was rapidly going mad, when an
-opportune shower put a stop to the eloquence, which had gone on
-unceasingly through the passing of several express trains, all of which
-made a hideous noise, and any one of which would have been sufficient to
-daunt any other individual. Short, amusing--really amusing--recitations
-are always a success, and I should taboo anything tragic or sentimental,
-or anything which lasted over ten minutes at the outside.
-
-Never, however, be persuaded to give a garden-party trusting to tennis
-alone. There can be nothing more dreary than such an entertainment; it
-is like an at-home, where nothing but talk is provided. I would never
-heap on amusements out of doors or have music without stopping in doors,
-but I should always provide it in such a way that it serves as a
-pleasant reason for the gathering. An in-door at-home with music can
-never be a success if the seats are put in rows, and people are forced
-to sit stiffly close together; an outdoor one can never pass off well
-unless we prepare amusements, and see that our guests are really
-entertained and yet not overburdened with our attentions.
-
-I think a whole chapter might be written on the art of being a hostess;
-and yet, perhaps, a few words may suffice. I believe a hostess, like a
-poet, is born, not made. Still, a few hints may not be out of place, for
-I think sometimes parties are unsuccessful because, though possessed of
-the best intentions, the hostess may lack the knowledge that alone can
-ensure a successful entertainment.
-
-In the first place, without emulating two friends of mine, one of whom
-took the youngest unmarried girl in the room down to dinner, while the
-other, out of pure kindness, let his wife walk in first and then
-followed himself, and in consequence was hugely laughed at. I do think
-that in ordinary society a great deal of ridiculous fuss is made about
-precedence. What can it matter to the wife of some man knighted but the
-other day whether she or the wife of the parson goes into or out of the
-room first? If it does, she must be so stupid that I should not care to
-see her in my house; while to me it does matter immensely whether I have
-someone to take me in who knows what is going on in the world and reads
-his newspaper and sees every play that comes out. Give me a man like
-that, and I don’t in the least care what his father was, neither should
-I care one bit whether Jones and Mrs. Smith, and Mr. Smith and Mrs.
-Brown, walked in or out of the room before me; they may all go, if they
-like, in a string. So long as I have a pleasant companion and a pretty
-table to look at, and a well-cooked dinner, I don’t care in the least
-how I reach the dining-room.
-
-See that the people who are likely to get on have an opportunity of
-knowing each other; watch that no one is sitting glum and disconsolate
-in a corner; remember, if you can, who is anxious to be introduced to or
-shown any celebrities in the world of art and letters who may happen to
-be present; and, above all, consider everyone’s pleasure before you
-think of your own; and in a large gathering never sit down until you are
-actually driven to do so through fatigue, and you may be quite sure that
-the party will be a success. And send out your invitations, remembering
-that the pleasantest people are not always those who can afford to ask
-you again, and that your object in entertaining is above all to give
-pleasure, to see clever and entertaining, people in your house, and not
-to ensure a return as soon as may be for what you are doing. I do not
-care if people are the highest in the land if they are dull; I would far
-rather meet and know people who are clever and interesting than the most
-exalted member of the peerage I could number among my acquaintances if
-she were stupid and uninteresting, and had nothing to recommend her but
-her coronet and her connection with what Jeames de la Pluche calls the
-‘hupper suckles.’
-
-I think that I have now given some idea how to ensure success at the two
-kinds of parties which might be used as means of introducing a daughter
-to the world at large; but, of course, there are a great many other
-gatherings which may be indulged in, and, above all, let us learn always
-to be ready to give a welcome to any of the children’s friends. Should
-we discover that they are not nice we can easily speak about it, and
-tell our reasons for not receiving them; but well-brought-up young
-people will only make nice friends, and we must invariably be ready to
-give them a cheerful welcome. We can always be glad to see them after
-dinner, or to afternoon tea. This cannot ruin us, and when possible we
-should let them stay in the house and encourage them all we can. At the
-same time the rules of the house must be kept; the hours for meals and
-the general habits of the elders respected; and we must not be expected
-to help in the entertaining--that must be left entirely to the younger
-members of the household, whose friends they are.
-
-Perhaps one of the greatest problems, after we have settled on our
-manner of entertainment, is to determine how the girls shall dress and
-in what manner they shall manage their dress allowance. This should be
-made to them and paid punctually from their eighteenth birthday, but it
-should never be made without starting a girl with a good and sufficient
-wardrobe, with a miniature trousseau in fact; if this is not done,
-unless, of course, the allowance is a very handsome one, the girl will
-get hopelessly into debt, and will never be free from that millstone all
-her life.
-
-Dress is, unfortunately, so frightfully expensive nowadays that the
-problem of how to dress at all, always a serious one, has assumed
-gigantic proportions of late years. We went out immensely in our youth,
-and had 50_l._ a year allowed us, which we just scraped through on,
-although I remember how anxiously I watched the sleeves of one special
-grenadine dress, which I could not have afforded to replace anyhow, and
-which would wear out in the most agonising way, and which was one mass
-of darns before I could get another, and I have never forgotten the
-anxiety it gave me, to say nothing of under-garments, which really
-seemed to vanish perceptibly, bit by bit, after each visit to the
-laundress; but nowadays girls cannot go out very much and appear well
-dressed on double that sum. Even with 100_l._ a year there would have to
-be cutting and contriving, and a good sewing-maid would be an imperative
-necessity should there be really very many balls every year and
-afternoon and evening dresses to be seen after besides.
-
-Of course, if not more than 50_l._ can be spared to each girl, the
-attendance at balls must be limited, and a great deal of sewing must be
-done by the damsel herself. But I never recommend anyone to go to a
-cheap or common dressmaker; if she does, her garments will never look
-nice, and she will spend three times as much as she need on renovations
-and alterations, while she will run every imaginable risk of having her
-stuff spoiled and the dress made so badly that she cannot wear it.
-
-Supposing the girl is to begin with her allowance of 50_l._, her
-trousseau should consist of a dozen of each under-garments necessary;
-she should have six pairs of silk, six of fine cashmere, and six of
-warmer cashmere hose; she should have four white skirts, a silk
-underskirt, and a quilted poplin skirt; she should have two morning
-dresses, one a good tailor-made one with a jacket to match, the other
-cashmere; she should have two best dresses, one for every evening, one
-for dances, and two for balls; and she should have a sealskin coat, a
-waterproof, and a jacket, and about three hats; she should have four
-pairs of boots and four pairs of shoes; and she should remember that the
-longer these are kept in stock before they are worn the better, and one
-pair of shoes should never be taken into regular wear without another
-being purchased to take its place. Cheap shoes and boots should never be
-bought under any pretext whatever; they wear out at once, are a hideous
-shape always, and are dangerously thin, things which should prevent
-their being in any girl’s wardrobe.
-
-I am often struck, particularly in crowds or in large gatherings, at the
-perfectly frightful clothes most English women wear, and I have come to
-the conclusion that this fact is caused by the extraordinary fondness
-they seem to have for any kind of black mantle or jacket on which they
-can lay their hands, and by a habit they have of crowning their heads
-with any sort of hat or bonnet that may be in the fashion at the moment,
-no matter whether it suits them or not, or whether they have anything
-else in their possession with which it can be worn.
-
-The tan jackets which have been so fashionable lately have in some
-measure emancipated the girls from the tyranny of the black cape; but I
-do wish all who dress at all would do so much more sensibly than they do
-now, and would never buy a single thing without carefully reviewing
-their wardrobe first, and then purchasing the addition equally
-carefully, not because it is ‘lovely’ or the ‘height of the fashion,’
-but because it suits the wearer, and above all suits what she already
-possesses. She must never enter a shop without knowing first of all what
-she really does require, and she must never allow herself to be talked
-out of her own preconceived ideas; if she does she is sure to find
-herself saddled with some utterly unwearable garment, and which,
-moreover, matches nothing she already has in her possession. A girl
-should be carefully taught what is likely to suit her, and she should,
-moreover, be carefully instructed how to manage her wardrobe so that her
-things may be in some measure _en suite_. For example, should she
-possess a sealskin jacket, which she should if in any way possible--a
-capital little coat costs about 12_l._ to 15_l._, and wears ten winters
-comfortably, and can be used afterwards as linings--her winter morning
-dress might be some soft brown cashmere; she could vary this by having
-two or three soft silk handkerchiefs as waistcoats in the pretty
-prevailing fashion of the day, and could have a dark brown, a deep
-yellow, or a pale pink one. This dress would look well with the
-sealskin, or with a tan jacket should the weather be too warm for the
-former, and the hat should be brown or else dark blue with brown
-feathers in; this would allow of the second dress being powder or
-gendarme blue; this could be trimmed with bands of sealskin or soft
-brown silk, and here would be every-day garments to don in October and
-wear off and on until the first few warm days in May turn our thoughts
-to new and lighter clothes. A best hat should always be in stock; but
-this must harmonise with what she already has in the way of dresses.
-These must be good; the two will then, with the help of a judicious
-maid, come out again in the following autumn as very good every-day
-dresses and dresses for wet Sundays, and all that will be required is an
-afternoon party dress, which can also be worn on fine Sundays to church
-and for afternoon wear, should Sunday callers be allowed and encouraged
-in the manner I trust they are.
-
-Summer dresses are where the strain comes on our resources, and where
-the clever maid comes in so well. One can buy a print costume unmade for
-about 18_s._ 6_d._, but made up in London it costs about 3_l._ 10_s._ to
-4_l._; I have never seen a decently made one under this price. The maid
-should suffice for these costumes, the simple banded Norfolk bodice
-being easily managed, as can some of the looser bodices; and great care
-should be taken to purchase about three yards more of the print than is
-absolutely needed. Print dresses in our wretched climate generally last
-two seasons, and, as they generally shrink in the wash, it is wise to
-provide ourselves with material for new sleeves or new fronts; it can be
-washed before being used to ensure that no appearance of patching is
-given by the new unfaded material being placed against that which must
-have faded a little during the last wear. We have discovered in Stafford
-(rather ‘a far cry,’ as the Scots would say) a capital dressmaker who,
-for absolutely reasonable prices, makes charming print dresses for
-45_s._ and excellent material dresses for girls for about 75_s._ I know
-these wear because we have tried them often and often, and, indeed, my
-daughter gets all her morning dresses there. I shall not publish her
-name, because I do not want her to be inundated with work or raise her
-prices, but if she can manage to do this--and naturally it must pay her
-to do so--why can’t London dressmakers do the same? I pause for a reply,
-and in the meantime meditate ruefully on the different prices I have to
-pay for my garments to those charged by the Stafford dressmaker.
-
-I have always believed that ladies properly instructed in this art of
-dressmaking, and banded together, could make a comfortable living out of
-providing the garments of their fortunate sisters who had not to work.
-They would not make their fortunes, but they should do well if they do
-not pitchfork themselves into the place because every other work they
-have tried has failed, but take it because they have had an excellent
-training and are really tasteful and capable of advising about, as well
-as making, the clothes, which are such a burden and trouble to most of
-us. Of course they would be invaluable to the girls with a limited
-allowance; they would know what was worn, what would suit them and their
-purses at the same time; and they would keep a staff of humbler sewers
-who would renovate the garments it should be their pride and delight to
-make the very utmost of; while to those like myself, for example, who
-must have suitable and pretty dresses, and have not sufficient time to
-obtain this desirable end without immense expense, they would be simply
-invaluable, and we should be spared making the mistakes we are
-constantly making, the while we should be sure that our advancing years
-should receive due notice at their skilful hands, and that we should be
-suitably as well as becomingly dressed, and that at a not undue expense.
-
-I should be very grateful to anyone who would start such an
-establishment; she could charge for her advice plus the dress, as I
-charge for my advice about furniture and household management, and I am
-quite sure her establishment would soon be the centre of an admiring
-throng of girl disciples, to say nothing of the elder women, who would
-be thankful to be taken in hand, to be prevented from buying unbecoming
-garments, or things which have nothing in common with the rest of their
-possessions, and who could shop there in peace, knowing they would have
-kindly counsel, instead of being assured lyingly by the saleswoman that
-a perfectly unsuitable bonnet is the most becoming thing she has ever
-seen, and that an ugly black mantle is so handsome that, given this, it
-will act as charity and cover a multitude of sins in the shape of a
-shabby dress; the real truth being that the gorgeous mantle only
-accentuates the shabbiness, and, by adding another to the rank of the
-black mantle wearers, gives another evidence of the fact that, as a
-rule, Englishwomen in the street are the worst-dressed women in the
-world.
-
-To really dress well costs an immense amount of money, for to ensure
-correct and pleasing dress it is absolutely necessary that all things
-shall match in some measure--mantle, dress, bonnet, and hose must be _en
-suite_; but if we cannot afford to go in for this we should restrict
-ourselves to one or two colours at the outside, we should never buy
-anything which is at the height of fashion, and, above all, we should
-wear our clothes carefully, and we should not disdain to see they are
-put away in an absolutely spotless condition, with each atom of dust and
-dirt removed, every small necessary mending done, and with soft paper
-between the folds. Unless we have this religiously seen to the
-handsomest dress soon becomes draggle-tailed and shabby, while a cheap
-or inferior material wears three times as long as it otherwise would do
-if we see it is treated properly.
-
-But cheap or flimsy materials should never, under any circumstances, be
-bought, unless the girls can make them up themselves, to wear at home
-evenings or during the summer, or unless the sewing-maid can do them;
-the making and trimming cost three times as much as the stuff, which
-hardly looks nice for three days, while good material pays for good
-making and wears until one is really tired of being in the same garment.
-When that feeling comes to us we should lay the dress aside for some
-months and then take it out again; the rest actually seems to have done
-the garment good, and we wear it again with pleasure, instead of
-putting it on each morning with renewed dislike and distaste, as we did
-before we put it into the wardrobe for the short retirement we advise.
-
-If matrons over forty-five cannot afford to spend very much on their
-garments, I do most strongly advise them to keep to black and very dark
-shades of greens and reds; these, however, should be left absolutely
-alone should there be any tendency to _embonpoint_, then black must be
-_de rigueur_. This seems a little hard, and of course black is to a
-certain extent uninteresting wear; but we can console ourselves for the
-fate to which all must come by knowing that we are suitably attired, and
-that, at all events, we are not making ourselves ridiculous by vying
-with our daughters about our clothes.
-
-Women are the age they look. I know some of the above-named age who do
-not look a day more than thirty-five, and they therefore should dress as
-they please. But the moment age begins to show let us calmly acknowledge
-that our pretty days are over, and garb ourselves accordingly. We need
-not be dowdy in these days. Black and dark raiment generally can be made
-as nice as possible and quite festive-looking; but we should be suitably
-dressed, and, after all, we don’t want either admiration or attention
-then from the outside world; we are sure of both at home if we rule
-rightly and are queen of the only kingdom that is worth having--the
-beautiful kingdom of Home.
-
-What does anything else matter, if we are still looked upon by our
-husbands with as much pleasure and admiration as they gave us in those
-never-to-be-forgotten days of courtship, and if our children consider us
-nicer, kinder, and wiser than anyone else? To obtain such applause is
-worth the whole struggle of living to preserve it--any amount of trouble
-which we can possibly take. Therefore, let all costume themselves
-suitably--the girl in the prettiest frocks she can possibly afford; the
-matron quietly, becomingly, and richly; and, above all, let all consider
-carefully the matching that I so strongly advocate, and let the girl who
-begins her allowance always keep most correct accounts, showing these
-and her paid bills when the next quarter is paid, and let her never be
-too proud to ask her mother’s assistance, especially if she cannot see
-her way to make both ends meet; but never pass over a debt, and let her
-see you notice all she spends. It may seem a little inquisitorial, it
-will really save her endless care and worry if you prevent her in any
-way you can from getting into a habit of forestalling her income--a
-habit that, once formed, is one that hardly anyone ever shakes off in
-after life, try how one will.
-
-The ball-dresses are the garments which try a girl more than anything,
-the tulle skirts and pretty flounces, which cost so much, getting so
-soon spoiled and messed; and I think the stock of the first season’s
-dresses must be helped considerably by the parents, else will the poor
-girl feel herself worse dressed than anyone else; and that is a small
-misery that should never be allowed if in any measure it can be avoided.
-The years from eighteen to twenty-one are undoubtedly the most joyous of
-any a woman ever has. They are not always the happiest, taking our
-standard of happiness very high, but they are the brightest, sunniest,
-and most amusing that the average girl will ever have, more especially
-if she have been carefully brought up in a good atmosphere and be not
-tormented with those uncomfortable religious doubts and miserable
-hankerings after a career and after reforming the world we some of us
-had such a severe attack of at that age. I personally would not be
-eighteen again for all the wealth of the Indies. Then, I thought it
-extremely grand to believe in nothing, to have a gloomy satisfaction in
-my superior mind, which soared above the old beliefs, and formed a misty
-religion of my own, which meant nothing and led nowhere, and to indulge
-in dreadful sarcasms--mentally only (I am thankful to say I did not
-often utter them)--on the worldly wisdom of those folks who naturally
-wished their daughters to marry well and turned cold shoulders on the
-poorest and generally most undeserving of suitors, and I used to stay up
-until the small hours of the morning (although I was dreadfully sleepy)
-inditing the most awful verses against the rich and titled folks, whom I
-naturally thought were fattening on the poor and miserable, and to whom
-I intended to go on a species of socialistic crusade; and finally in
-writing a big novel, which used to make me feel very much more
-intellectual than most of the people I mixed with, and which, after an
-evening spent among the brightest and first intellects in the world, I
-used to contemplate savagely, having been made to feel very small,
-though I would have died rather than confess such a thing--a feeling I
-did not mean ever to experience again, once that _magnum opus_ was given
-to the world and people really knew me for the genius I was. Alas! that
-recognition has never come yet; still, I am very happy without it, and
-am always doubly thankful my days of craving for worldwide fame have
-vanished, and that I neither want that nor to believe in anything any
-more.
-
-I hope, however, there are not many girls as silly as I was then, and as
-I dare say I should have continued to be had I not married--I, who
-scorned the idea of the ordinary British matron, and regarded children
-and household cares with bitter disgust. And during the twenty years I
-have been a wife, I am always struck with wonder when I remember the
-imaginative, impulsive thing that was myself so long ago, and try to
-trace in my present self the miserable, ambitious cynic I fondly hoped
-was some day going to set the world on fire and blossom out as a new
-Thackeray or Dickens. Nothing feminine was good enough for me; I meant
-to beat the men or do nothing at all.
-
-Such a girlhood as that may be of infinite service, and was, but it
-cannot be called a happy one; still, I think I was the exception, not
-the rule, therefore I ask that all who can possibly manage it will see
-their girls are happy as long as they are young; to give them their
-allowance because they should learn how to spend money, but to add a
-dress here and there, an ornament, a new trimming judiciously if in any
-way you can afford it, and go without yourself rather than allow a girl
-to be shabby or worry herself to death over a wearing-out garment; at
-the same time let her learn to do her own repairs and have lessons in
-dressmaking; make her happy, but at the same time let her help herself
-to the desired end. I hope there may never be too many daughters in the
-family for this allowance of 50_l._ to be an impossibility; no girl can
-dress really on less. If there are, she _must_ be taught early to make
-her own garments, and she must learn, furthermore, that she must spend
-far more time and thought over her clothes than is good for her, should
-the allowance be much less, and should she be obliged to go out into
-society a good deal. As I stated at first, I am not now writing for the
-young beginners, but for those whose children are growing up, and who
-have made and are making a good income; I therefore trust that what I
-have said about dress will be taken only by those for whom it is
-intended, the Angelina of ‘From Kitchen to Garret,’ poor dear, having
-often enough to do without much that she would have thought
-indispensable in the old days.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-CHRISTENINGS AND WEDDINGS.
-
-
-There is a great deal to consider, apart from the mere arrangement of
-the ceremonies, about the events of which I mean to speak in this
-chapter, therefore no book devoted to the interests of the home could be
-complete without at least some words on both subjects.
-
-To begin with: the old story of the bad fairy told us in our childhood,
-who invariably was forgotten, and as invariably turned up without an
-invitation at the christening of the prince or princess, is not as
-improbable as it appeared to be on the first reading. The bad fairy may
-be an infuriated relative to whom we have forgotten to write; it may be
-family pride outraged by the name chosen for the infant; or it may take
-the form of having asked the wrong instead of the right individual to
-stand for the child; but all too often it is there, and the heedless
-conduct that raised the evil fairy from her sleep may bring about
-consequences that are as unpleasant as they are certainly unexpected and
-generally undeserved, for I have often observed that the deepest insults
-are those we are most unconscious of giving, and that the evil habit of
-‘taking offence’ is often increased by conduct that was as innocent in
-design as it was certainly disastrous in the effect.
-
-And now let us pause for a moment and speak on the subject of taking
-offence, a matter that has given rise to endless family divisions and
-caused more broken friendships and quarrels than anything else in the
-world. To begin with: it is a sign of a common, jealous, vain nature to
-take offence; it shows that the offended person is so endued with a
-sense of her own importance that she is always on the look-out for an
-affront, that she has such a low idea of human nature that she is
-suspicious of everything that happens, and is always expecting some slur
-is being cast on her, some dreadful plot against her dignity is being
-hatched; and she is so vain that she thinks everything that happens is
-especially levied at her, though generally she was as far from the
-thoughts of the offending person as she well could be.
-
-A family possessing such a touchy member is indeed much to be pitied;
-one can see nothing or very little of any acquaintance possessed of such
-a disposition, and indeed no one would wish to see such a one more than
-one can help; but a member of the family must be considered in some way;
-therefore such an individual is all too often the bad fairy, who, having
-once received or fancied she received an insult, never forgets it, harps
-on it always, and ends by doing immeasurable harm in more ways than one
-by her disagreeable and untutored tongue. And notice I say _she_ and
-her. I don’t consider we can learn much from men, but we can certainly
-learn larger-mindedness from them; for very seldom do we find a man
-taking offence in the childish and touchy fashion far too many women are
-so fond of doing.
-
-As a rule we are all too busy to soften the aspirations of such an
-individual, and so we drift apart without any distinct quarrel,
-gradually seeing less and less of each other, until we do not meet at
-all; but it is generally well, if we possibly can, to go straight to
-anyone like this and find out the cause of offence, at the same time
-refraining from doing so unless we care very much about it, because, ten
-chances to one, the person who takes offence once will always be doing
-so, and it is not worth one’s while, as a rule, to conciliate those who
-will find a subject for offence in everything one says and does, unless
-one is always flattering them, an easily offended person having the most
-ravenous appetite for flattery possible to conceive. Therefore, when a
-christening has to be thought about, we should first consider if there
-be any Scylla to avoid, any Charybdis past which we must navigate the
-boat, and, above all, must we endeavour to be quite independent about
-the most important subject of all--viz. how to name the child.
-
-I do not go quite as far as does a friend of mine, who considers the
-names he gives his children act on their nature, and that they
-insensibly form their characters to in some measure sympathise with
-their baptismal names. Thus, for example, it would be as impossible for
-John to be naughty as for Jack to be anything save a pickle, for Edith
-to be anything save calm and religious, while Trixy must be a flirt and
-set all her lovers by the ears. But still I do think a great deal
-depends upon the name, especially if the surname happens to be rather
-uncommon or pretty, and that the judicious selection of well-sounding
-names does wonders. But here we must steer between plain John Brown, who
-could never be anyone, try as hard as he might, and the Reginald de
-Montmorency Brown, which is the laughing-stock of the neighbours, and
-which is a grief to the unfortunate holder thereof through life, unless
-the possession of such a name forces him to become as ridiculous as it
-is itself; then, of course, he is quite happy, and we need not pity him
-at all.
-
-Another thing I do most earnestly deprecate is the perpetuating of
-family names, unless the name happens to be a pretty one and is chosen
-for itself. In the first place, family names are generally hideous, and
-in the second we cannot name the child after all the members of both
-families; to give precedence to the father’s family names will offend
-the mother’s family, and generally the unfortunate infant is not only
-saddled with a hideous name, but finds itself a bone of contention
-almost before it has any bones at all; while, if we boldly select the
-names which seem to us euphonious and to harmonise with the surname, we
-shall offend no one, and shall show we have an individuality that must
-be respected by the members of both families alike.
-
-Then, too, if families are large and have endless branches, great
-confusion is caused by each separate Paterfamilias having one of these
-names among his flock. Cousins very often stay in the same house, and
-come to visit each other, and if there are ten Miss Elizabeth Smiths and
-these happen to be staying together, how are their letters to be
-distinguished? The possession of similar initials in families has made
-mischief enough; the possession of similar names can make twice as much
-again.
-
-In naming a boy we must think whether he can be made miserable at school
-by having either a grand or girlish name, which the young fiends, his
-schoolfellows, can turn into something to his disadvantage, and, if
-possible, the younger sons should always have some good surname before
-the family name; this will enable them to keep distinct. For example, if
-the eldest son is called Charles Robinson (not that I should call any
-boy such a frightful name), his next brother can be called John Smith
-Robinson (supposing his mother’s name to have been Smith), while the
-third could be William Brown Robinson, thus marking the distinct
-families at once, and allowing the sons of the holders of these names to
-have the double name, and perhaps the aristocratic hyphen, satirised by
-Corney Grain, which is so dear to the heart of the ordinary suburban
-resident, while it is not a bad plan to give the girls their surname as
-well as a pretty Christian-name at baptism. This would allow people to
-trace pedigrees easily were it a universal custom, and would be of great
-assistance in writing the family history we ought one and all of us to
-possess, for it is astonishing how much we are helped in our attempt to
-bring up our children if we have any knowledge of our forbears, and can
-trace in any way the habits and occupations of those from whom we have
-sprung.
-
-Having settled on the child’s name and registered it before we tell our
-relations and friends, the impossibility of making a change saving
-endless painful and unprofitable discussions, the next thing is to
-decide on the god-parents. As a rule this is a mere form, but of course
-it should not be so. A god-parent necessarily sends a more or less
-handsome present at the time of the christening, comes to the ceremony
-if he or she can, and then forgets all about the child. But this, I
-repeat, should never be. The god-parents should keep up a friendly
-intercourse with their god-children; they should know where they are,
-what they are doing; they should most undoubtedly be present at the
-confirmation ceremony, and they should always at Christmas either write
-to their god-children, send one of those useful and pretty cards, which
-I trust will never go out of fashion, or else give some little gift that
-does not cost much, while it makes the link between them very real, and
-gives some meaning to a position that at present would often be more
-honoured in the breach than in the observance.
-
-Of course it is easy enough to manage this in one’s own rank of life,
-and we ought to have as many god-children as we can honestly interest
-ourselves in; but we should never undertake the office unless we mean to
-perform the duties; and we ought occasionally to ‘stand for’ some of our
-poorer neighbours’ children. As a rule they are delighted to have us,
-and it gives us a hold over them we could not otherwise acquire; while a
-boy or a girl has always a sense of obligation to behave better and do
-better in life if he or she has a god-parent in a higher station than
-his or her own, to whom they can come for advice and help by right, and
-from whom they receive at Christmas, at confirmation, or at any
-important step in life, some trifling token. Therefore I do not think
-god-parents can think too much of their duties, or neglect to stand for
-all they can manage to look after; it is something to do--something that
-can also do endless good, if we undertake the duties properly.
-
-When the god-parents are chosen the christening-day should be fixed, and
-this should be the very first day that the mother and child can go out
-of doors. The clergyman who performs all the family services should be
-asked of course, and the time selected should be about the middle of the
-day, and, if possible, the font should be nicely decorated with white
-flowers. Of course the correct thing would be to have a public service
-with the congregation; the church always looks dismal and horrid when
-empty, and, according to the rubric, the service should be public; but I
-should never advise this. In the first place, the mother is never quite
-strong enough to stand the long service; and, in the second, babies do
-howl so that the congregation is made miserable, and, therefore, what is
-really an excellent theory is a practice to be avoided. Unless the
-christening is postponed, a thing I cannot contemplate for one moment, a
-child’s first outing should be to church; there is no doubt whatever in
-my own mind about that.
-
-Take this for granted, and half the misery of a christening disappears;
-never allow it to be postponed, and it is done as a matter of course. If
-the god-parents selected cannot be present, they must be represented by
-proxy; and they should never be waited for, any more than they should be
-chosen for any reason save that we are fond of them, that they are
-related to us, or such friends that we know they would do the best they
-could for us were we to die and leave the children to the mercy of the
-world at large--as regards their mental welfare, I don’t mean their
-bodily. I repeat here, that no one has the smallest right to bring a
-child into the world for whose existence he cannot in some measure duly
-provide.
-
-Without emulating the Roman Catholic habit of confession, I much like to
-feel that each family possesses some clergyman among its friends, who
-stands to it in some measure in the position that a Romish priest does
-to many households. The finer ceremonies of life and death should be
-conducted by one man; and it is always a great pleasure to me to feel
-that he who married us christened all our children, while it is as great
-a regret that he cannot any more perform any more ceremonies for us, for
-he has gone where ceremonies are of no avail, and where he has, no
-doubt, already received his reward. However, though none can take his
-place, we have still a ‘family priest;’ and I think all the simple
-ceremonies of our Church are made a thousand times holier by the fact
-that one man performs them, and that he takes that individual interest
-in us no strange clergyman ever can. Let anyone see a christening in a
-town church, hastily performed by a man to whom the infant is nothing
-but an unpleasant lump of lace and fussy clothes, or at best one more
-little soldier for the great army, and the same ceremony performed by a
-man who knows and loves the parents, and I shall need no more words if
-this does not express all I mean. Let my readers note the conduct of any
-cemetery chaplain reading the burial service, with which custom has made
-him hideously familiar, and then hear someone who has known and loved
-the dead read it; I am sure, after that, I need not plead for the
-election in each family of some good man as family priest. He is a
-comfort, indeed, with whom no one can afford to dispense, even in this
-hurrying, fashionable life of ours.
-
-When the church and all is settled, the baby’s dress is undoubtedly a
-matter for great consideration. In some families grandmamma produces the
-robe the child’s father was christened in, and of course that, and
-nothing else, should be worn. Of course, equally, high neck and sleeves
-should be added, and a little flannel bodice can be placed with
-advantage under the fine open-neck bodice of the robe; white ribbons
-should tie up the sleeves and be placed under the waist, and the cloak
-should not be either heavy or unduly gorgeous. The hood and cloak must
-be removed in the church, and the nurse should do this quickly and
-silently the moment the ceremony begins, placing a big, soft shawl round
-the child; this allows it to become quiet, and does not ensure the roar
-which invariably follows if the child is handed to the clergyman the
-moment its clothes are taken off. It should be rolled in the shawl until
-the christening service is over, then it can be dressed and shriek if it
-likes; no one but the nurse will be disturbed by its howling then.
-
-Baptism is a sacrament, and therefore there are no fees to be given to
-the clergyman, but the father goes into the vestry to give particulars
-about the name, &c., for registration in the church books, and he should
-then make the clerk some small present--5_s._ would be ample for most
-middle-class families, while 1_l._ would be princely. If the clergyman
-has come some distance one should take care he was no loser by it,
-delicately and nicely, and if one is rich some present should be given
-to the church itself to mark the ceremony; there is always something a
-church lacks that we can give without ruining ourselves; in fact, all
-these simple ceremonies should teach us to love the Church with the
-singular attachment even Dissenters have for it, and should make us more
-to each other as a congregation than we otherwise would be had we no
-religion to bind us together. The christening over, the baby should be
-taken, according to a dear old Yorkshire superstition, to be shown to
-some friend who will give it bread, salt, sixpence, and a new-laid egg;
-and if this superstition be respected, and, moreover, if the infant be
-taken up in the world before it is taken down (_i.e._ carried upstairs
-before it goes down), my old nurse used to declare that it must be lucky
-and could defy any amount of bad fortune. She invariably climbed by a
-stool up to a high settee with our children because our house had not a
-third story, and much she used to amuse us with these small vagaries;
-they were a matter of real moment to her, and we indulged her. Why not?
-If they did no good they most certainly could do no earthly harm.
-
-Now, before we pass on from the christening ceremony to speak of
-weddings--a much more enthralling subject--I want to say one word on the
-matter of family gatherings. I know quite well I am venturing almost on
-forbidden ground, and that such an idea as a family party is beneath
-contempt in these days, when we want nothing but amusement, and dislike
-running the chance of being bored more than anything else. Still, I am
-going to speak about them, and I trust that I may show that they are not
-only unobjectionable if properly managed, but that they are absolutely
-necessary if we are to keep up anything like a good feeling amongst the
-members of one family.
-
-The reasons why, as a rule, families separate and fall apart are, first
-of all, because some go up while others remain stationary, and others
-creep slowly down the hill; and, secondly, because there are none of the
-small civilities and amenities of life practised among relations that
-render society possible and pleasing. If a sister thinks another
-sister’s conduct is not just what it ought to be she tells her so,
-without considering that she has no more business to take her to task
-than she has to call on and scold her next-door neighbour; they frankly
-discuss the manner in which the respective children are brought up, and,
-indeed, often make themselves so interfering and disagreeable that the
-family party ends in tears and in mutual vows against any attempt at the
-same thing again.
-
-Now, as regards the first offence, it is one we ought to be able to bear
-with equanimity, especially if we are remaining stationary while others
-are flourishing on a plain above our heads. In the first place, the
-honour and success of the one member is the property of all, and we can
-glory in it too, while, if we are at the top of the tree, no one will
-envy us that position if they share it in some measure, and if we take
-care that they are not hurt by our assuming airs that are as ridiculous
-as they are unkind. A man who forgets and ignores his poor relations is
-a snob, and is invariably laughed at by those who know of their
-existence; while if he never forgets them, and is good to them always,
-he reaps a reward no one can deprive him of in the tender affection,
-pride in his attainments, and unselfish delight in his success, which
-would be turned to gall and wormwood were he to turn his back on and
-ignore those whose flesh and blood he shares, and who must always be his
-relations, try how he may to shift them off his shoulders entirely.
-
-Give this feeling, and I maintain that we can have family parties which
-are quite successful, more especially if we remember the second pitfall
-and refrain from these hideously spiteful remarks some families seem to
-regard in the light of indispensable tonics; and we should always try
-that our simple ceremonies of christenings, birthdays, Christmas, and
-weddings should include all those of our immediate kin who are near
-enough to share them. Let all be asked, let them see you are glad to see
-them, and give them your best (not your second best, please), and I am
-quite sure the family party will be as successful as any other you may
-be induced to give. Of course the party need not be all family; a
-judicious admixture of outsiders is always to be recommended, more
-especially if we are at the top of the tree and can take this
-opportunity of introducing some of our ‘best’ people to those who are
-pleased to meet them, although their present means may not allow of
-their entertaining them in their own houses in the same manner that we
-can.
-
-These differences cannot be helped, and indeed they should be a source
-of pleasure to all, as I said before, and undoubtedly would be were
-family feeling cultivated among us in a manner that it certainly is not
-in most English homes. Therefore all these ceremonies should be made an
-occasion for family parties, and at Christmas time, too, all should meet
-who can, at the house of the eldest of the family, should the father and
-mother be unable to have their gathering or be dead, as is so often the
-case; and there should be regular preparations for enjoyment, a
-‘surprise’ (my annual surprise considerably shortens my life), a
-Christmas tree, games, and a good supper, all mapped out just as if we
-expected the greatest strangers and wished to impress them with our
-forms of hospitality. Take rather more pains about the arrangements and
-details of a family party than any other; I am quite sure that if you do
-you will be amply rewarded.
-
-And now to think about weddings and marriages, generally a most
-enthralling subject to fathers and mothers when the children have grown
-up and they begin to contemplate the idea of their leaving the fireside
-for homes of their own, when begins, I think, the most difficult period
-of our life, and when we cannot be too careful whom we admit to our
-houses, the while we must not be unduly fussy, else we spoil our
-children’s chance of happiness, and make them miserably anxious for
-themselves and their possible fate--a fate I would postpone for ever if
-I had my way, for who can calmly contemplate passing on one’s daughter
-to another’s care, I wonder? while one’s possible daughters-in-law can
-never be anything, I fear, save successful rivals to the throne one
-occupies in one’s boys’ hearts.
-
-But these things will happen, and equally of course all girls should
-marry, a happy marriage being the best fate for any woman, no matter how
-cultivated, how talented she may be. I have no doubts whatever on that
-subject. Suppose she writes; who so fit to battle with the publisher as
-the husband? or she paints; well, he can smile on the critics and
-undermine them with a good cigar and all the rest of it. Or does she
-sing? Surely, surely the husband’s protection comes in there more than
-ever; while for those lucky women who only want to fulfil their destiny
-and make a home, the husband of course takes his right position at once,
-and is guardian, bread-winner, and head in a way that Nature intended
-him to be, and that all real women want him to be. The few who clamour
-for another arrangement don’t understand the subject at all, and are as
-ridiculous as they are abnormal and few in number, and therefore need
-not be considered in the least. There is, therefore, no doubt that women
-should marry if they can; and if not, well, there is plenty for them to
-do, although they will never be as happy--I am sure of that--as the
-happily married woman; neither will they ever suffer as an unhappily
-married woman must, albeit very many unhappy marriages would have been
-far otherwise had people had common sense at first and married each
-other as what they were, and not what they supposed each other to be;
-resenting their own mistakes on the unfortunate object they had deified,
-and not on their own stupid selves, while of course they should be
-resolved to make the best of what was inevitable, and to really make the
-wife or husband become all they had imagined him or her to be.
-
-When the discussion on the subject of ‘marriage being a failure’ was
-going forward I was only deterred from joining in the fray by the
-knowledge that my indignant feelings on this subject were so strong they
-rendered me incoherent; but I was glad I did not, for no one could have
-driven sense into the heads of a good many of the silly women who wrote
-rubbish about their woes. Of course there are unhappy marriages, plenty
-of them, made worse, to my mind, a thousand times by our present
-disgracefully easy divorce laws; but, trace them to the beginning, and I
-venture to state that one and all of these marriages would have been
-happy had the parties to them been properly brought up, and, above all,
-properly told what marriage really means, not only to themselves, but to
-those who may very probably come after them. Not one girl who marries
-but knows that the man by whose side she stands at the altar is not only
-her lover, but the possible father of her children; and yet what mother
-would not consider herself simply dreadful were she to say this to her
-daughter when the proposal is made, and her fate is yet in abeyance? and
-yet what more important matter could be spoken of? I think none. A girl
-who marries a man--an old man--for his money, even from the very highest
-possible motives--from the idea, may be, that she is not only ensuring
-the safety of her own future but that of many who may be near and dear
-to her--is committing not only a crime against herself and her own
-future, but is ensuring that the faults, sins, and selfishnesses of the
-man she marries are passed on to endless generations; and where such a
-marriage is contemplated I maintain that a mother has an imperative duty
-before her, and that she must tell her daughter straight out, that the
-sufferings she must endure in her own person in daily contact with her
-future husband will not be a tithe of what will come upon her when she
-begins to recognise his sins and his evil ways reappearing in those
-children who may come to her, and who will bring their own retribution
-with them; be sure of that.
-
-It is a priceless boon to know that one inherits a right and a duty to
-be good in the broadest sense of the word. I personally do not care one
-fig what a man’s trade or worldly position is so long as he is
-absolutely honest and trustworthy, and would not act or speak an
-untruth; and this is the sort of inheritance we should strive to hand
-on to our children. The higher the station the more should be the
-endeavour to live in such a way that our example may be valued; but,
-whatever the station, let us remember that there is always some one
-influenced by us, and that we have obligations to them which we must
-consider if we want to live a really good life.
-
-And one of the first things to think of is this question of marriage,
-not only because of ourselves, but because of the children who may come
-to us, and who must be thought of before we give our girls to men who
-may make them ‘fairish’ husbands; perhaps may not ill-treat them or beat
-them, but who are not possessed of sufficient individuality to be the
-heads of their own houses, and who have not honest souls and some
-ambitions above the mere ruck of living and making as much money as they
-possibly can, not only because such men can never be the makers and
-possessors of a home, but because they may leave children whose
-weaknesses and wickednesses may not only break their mother’s heart, but
-may make the world worse than they find it, one’s truest ambition being
-to make the world, or one’s own special corner thereof, better than one
-found it in some way or other.
-
-Young people naturally resent advice, and rarely, if ever, act upon it,
-and we have all taken this to heart so much that some of us have ceased
-to give advice at all. But this should not be so; the advice may not be
-taken--that we cannot help--but it is our duty to give it, and I hope
-all mothers will do so, whether their children act upon it or not. We
-should not shirk a duty because we cannot see any effects; they may
-appear even when we have long ceased to look for them.
-
-The sins of the fathers must be visited on the children; there is no
-doubt about that. We need not argue about it; it is a fact that we all
-have to acknowledge, and therefore there is no need to go into the
-rights and wrongs of the matter, for no amount of argument will do away
-with this inevitable truth; and equally, therefore, a woman should
-choose not only a man she loves, but a man she respects, and one it
-shall be her very greatest pride to know her children will resemble. She
-will be spared endless suffering if she do, for there is no suffering on
-earth like that caused by wicked children, or even by the anxieties
-about weakly and suffering children; and she had better remain an old
-maid all her life than bring upon herself the unspeakable wretchedness
-of having children who are a constant source of anxiety to her because
-of what they may, nay, of what they _must_ inherit.
-
-Given a clean record, a stainless youth, a good constitution, and an
-honest worker, and we need ask no more for our girls. It will not hurt
-them to begin their new life on a much lower scale than that which they
-have been accustomed to, more especially if we have taught them their
-duty to themselves and their future. Then, if we know that the young
-couple honestly love each other, we can feel content.
-
-And by love I do not mean blind, unreasoning passion, the mad,
-extraordinary feeling that one reads about in novels, and which
-generally lands one or the other in the Divorce Court, and of which I
-have nothing to say, but I do mean that wonderful self-devotion to
-another, the mutual respect and regard, and the absolute unselfishness,
-that make up the true love that never fades, and that increases year by
-year in those whose married life was based on such love as this, and
-whose home reflects around the happiness which is centred there, and
-which can only be procured by those who begin their life together on a
-proper basis, and who do not expect to find in each other the god or
-goddess of perfection, who would probably be as unpleasant to live with
-as he or she is undoubtedly non-existent in this world of ours.
-
-Of course all this sounds fearfully prosaic, and is, no doubt,
-middle-aged philosophy; but it would not be worth writing down if it
-were not middle-aged, because it would be imagination only and not the
-fruits of experience. I have lived a certain number of years, and I have
-had large opportunities of observation, and I am certain of what I am
-saying, that the truest marriages are those which are framed on respect
-as well as love, and that those women are the happiest who can
-implicitly trust and believe in the men to whom they have given
-themselves in some measure body and soul; and that, furthermore, they
-get the most out of life who take care every moment they live has
-something to occupy it, and that that occupation benefits someone beside
-their immediate selves.
-
-I have often heard people say that the first year of their married life,
-and indeed that the honeymoon itself, was the very dullest and most
-difficult period of their whole lives; but I have always listened to
-these statements with astonishment, for I have come to the conclusion
-that if what they say is true it must be that, like the despised family
-parties, it is because they did not manage their affairs properly. Why,
-the honeymoon should be the most amusing journey one ever makes--I know
-mine was--for one sets out together with an entertaining feeling that
-the absence of the chaperon for the first time gives just a _soupçon_ of
-delightful impropriety to the journey; that for absolutely the first
-time in one’s life one can go where one likes and do as one likes; that
-if one liked to put on one’s Sunday frock on a week-day one would only
-be admired and not scolded, and that one’s shopping becomes actually
-important and not frivolous, because it is for the house and not for
-oneself merely. Besides, there is the amusement of seeing new places
-with a congenial spirit, and with one who does not consider it his duty
-to insist on learning all he can about a place; in fact, the
-honeymooners are no longer children to be educated, but people bent on
-amusing themselves together, with no _arrière-pensées_; these come
-afterwards. Then business has become dreadfully imperative in its
-demands on the husband, while the wife leaves home for a holiday, her
-mind distracted between pleasure and a melancholy foreboding of what may
-happen during her absence to children and household, neither of which
-can naturally trouble her during that first delightful jaunt, which
-should always be to some amusing, bright place where theatres can be
-fallen back on should it be wet, or where picture galleries could be
-visited under similar adverse circumstances. One can visit the dullest
-of places safely together after one has been married years; there are
-then mutual interests which will always occupy husband and wife: but at
-first this is actual suicide; there are then not very many things to
-discuss, and the unfortunate young people fall back on endearments and
-use up in a month that which should last them comfortably for all their
-lives.
-
-But we are arriving at the honeymoon before we have allowed the
-engagement, and must therefore retrace our steps, or else we shall omit
-the most important item of all--viz. how to act when we see an
-engagement is imminent and we are not sure if we like it or not. We
-should soon make up our minds on the subject though, for if we do not
-approve we can easily manage that the young people shall not meet any
-more. It only requires tact and common sense, two qualities which seem
-to me often strangely lacking in the ordinary British household.
-
-And, indeed, all that appertains to matrimony is made very difficult by
-the extraordinary manner in which English society looks upon the
-relations between young men and girls; in some measure allowing great
-familiarity, and in another way turning on anyone and calling her
-‘match-maker,’ should the unfortunate individual attempt to bring
-together those she thinks would like to see a little more of each other.
-Match-maker, indeed! Why, I consider it the duty of every happily
-married woman to try and make others happy in a similar way; and I have
-known more than one happy woman rendered a miserably disappointed
-spinster, just because the right person was not at hand to manage a last
-meeting, or give the one opportunity that was all that was required to
-make liking into love, or to ensure the speaking of the question that
-had trembled on the lips for some time.
-
-Of course marriages are made in heaven, but I also know that Heaven
-helps those who help themselves; and as no girl can do that, it is the
-duty of her married friends to help her, especially if they have any
-common sense, and can act _Deus ex machinâ_, without letting anyone know
-what they have done.
-
-If our young people are ‘desperately in love’ with the wrong man, or the
-wrong girl, all the better that the love is desperate; it will burn
-itself out all the quicker; but not if we oppose the match tooth and
-nail, though at the same time we need not countenance it. We should,
-under these adverse circumstances, state calmly but boldly the reasons
-we have for our dislikes; we should simply put all the ‘cons’ we know in
-plain words, and we should listen to the ‘pros’ equally calmly, and we
-should never allow a _personal_ dislike to make any difference in the
-matter; but our reasons should be valid and not of the ‘Doctor Fell’
-kind. Then, if the daughter or son is not convinced, say no more, do not
-oppose it; let the young people see as much as they can of each other;
-if there are disagreeable relations, make them very welcome to your
-house; be civil but not affectionate to the man or girl; and finally be,
-or rather appear to be, absolutely indifferent. Make a fuss, rage and
-stamp and oppose, and you may at the same time order the trousseau. Act
-as I advise, and ten chances to one the match will be broken off; but if
-it is not, and should it turn out well, be the first to thankfully
-acknowledge it. Should it turn out badly, refrain from the delightful
-habit of saying, ‘I told you so,’ but instead recall to the offended
-party all the reasons he or she had for marrying; do not condole, but
-rather remind him or her of the early days and of the love that once
-existed, and remind them that marriage, once entered into, must be made
-the best of. You will do far more good and have far more satisfaction in
-healing the breach than in proving yourself a true prophet; for if
-people were more sure than they are now, that being bound they cannot
-get loose, they would cease to strain against the cords, use would
-accustom them to them, and finally what was once irksome would be
-pleasurable. People who have once loved each other can always remember
-the happy days of their youth; and, remembering them, naturally will
-long to return to them, or to secure at least in some measure a reflex
-of them in their middle age.
-
-But, having contemplated this side of the picture, let us look at the
-far pleasanter one where all goes merry as a marriage bell, and the
-engagement is all that it should be. Yet before we do this I must just
-add one other word, and that is that, come what may, no marriage should
-ever be entered on, on any pretext whatever, unless the consent, if not
-the approbation, of the parents has been obtained. I have seen several
-marriages begin like this; I have never seen one that turned out well,
-or that was absolutely a success, and I do wish my readers to remember
-that this is a fact, and to therefore refrain from conduct that can have
-but one result; besides which, how can the children of such marriages
-turn out, if one has no control over them, should they desire to do
-likewise? for they have the one unanswerable argument in their
-possession: ‘You did it; why should not I?’ Then also a man never really
-respects a woman who throws over every one of her relations for him: he
-knows he is not worth the sacrifice, and though he may be flattered at
-first, ultimately he despises the girl who gave up all for him, and
-never really regards her with the reverence he must give to her who
-comes to him from her home, from her mother’s hand, knowing that that
-home is the emptier for her absence, and that a place should always be
-kept there for her, should she require to return there for any reason
-whatever. Home should be always home to the married children of the
-household, just as much as it is to those who remain spinsters and
-bachelors; and on no account should the doors be closed on them, or
-should they be allowed to feel that they have become in a measure
-strangers there, and that their place being filled knows and requires
-them no more. The trousseau of a girl should be as ample as can be
-afforded, and should have more under-garments than anything else;
-dresses alter in fashion so rapidly that it is folly to burden her with
-too many garments; neither are unmade costumes any use in these days,
-when no good dressmaker will make up one’s own materials. I should,
-therefore, give a girl not less than two dozen of every feminine
-garment, and as many more of each as I could afford. A good trousseau
-would cost about 200_l._, and of course as much more as the parents are
-prepared to spend; it should include a sealskin coat and a long fur
-cloak; the other outside garments should of course depend upon fashion
-and time of year, but it is a good plan to have some extra yards of
-material to all the dresses, particularly if the bride is going away
-from London to a distant part of the world.
-
-When the engagement is really formed, and the wedding is beginning to be
-the subject of conversation, one cannot say all the difficulties are
-over; there are the bridegroom’s family to welcome and be introduced to,
-and though, of course, if the bridegroom is well known to us this
-initial difficulty will not have to be encountered in all its worst
-forms, still very often the engagement alters one’s relationships
-suddenly, and it requires careful steering then to avoid friction; as a
-rule the parents on both sides think their children might have done
-better, and it is generally difficult to prevent this feeling being
-unduly apparent. Then I do beg for all my girl friends that they may
-have a pretty wedding; I do not want enormous sums spent on the wedding
-dress, but I do want the church to be nicely decked, all her friends to
-be asked who care to come, not because they may possibly give wedding
-presents--a species of blackmail which has become seriously unpleasant
-lately to anyone who is not sufficiently strong-minded to refuse to give
-because they are afraid of being out of the fashion--but because they
-are really friends, and will bring good luck by their loving prayers and
-real affection. And I do deprecate for all the hurried ‘quiet weddings’
-in a tailor-made frock; a woman should be in white on her festal day,
-and it should be indeed a festal day if her marriage is entered on in
-the spirit I have been writing about.
-
-I love a pretty wedding: the bride in her lovely white dress, and her
-group of bridesmaids; the flower-decked church, the hymns, and the
-bright faces of the choir boys (I must own I have a great weakness for
-choir boys, and generally make friends with them all) are all such a
-bright beginning to a new life; and if the solemn words are spoken by
-the ‘family priest,’ the man who, may be, married the parents and
-christened and prepared the bride for confirmation, there remains
-nothing to be desired, and we can wish the new home God-speed, knowing
-our wishes will have every chance of being fulfilled.
-
-Afternoon weddings, with the flower-decked tables and the inexpensive
-refreshments, bring pretty weddings within the reach of everyone nearly;
-even the erstwhile elaborately decorated cake now bears a wreath of
-simple and real flowers, instead of the pinchbeck temple that used to be
-reared on the centre; and all that is required besides is a certain
-amount of cake, ices, tea and coffee, and a little wine. Here again the
-expenditure can be regulated by the income; but it need not be an
-expensive affair unless one specially desires that it may be.
-
-Now, most people are married by banns, and licences are rarely required;
-this simplifies matters very much. But before the wedding is definitely
-decided on I should advise the clergyman of the church one is always in
-the habit of attending being consulted about all the legal forms; he is
-sure to know all that is necessary, will tell you exactly what you ought
-to do, what the choir and organist will expect (of course, if the
-organist be a gentleman, as he often is, and a personal friend, you must
-give him a present, not money), and what steps you must take about the
-decorations. But do not hand these over to a shop; be sentimental for
-once, and let personal friends undertake this duty. I would rather have
-hideous decorations put up by hands that loved one, on such an occasion,
-than the most exquisite trophies ever designed by Mrs. Green and put up
-by those who do not even know the bride and bridegroom by sight.
-
-I do hope every bride may soon have her _dot_, just like all French and
-German maidens have; but in any case she must not go penniless upon her
-wedding tour. Coventry Patmore’s idea in the ‘Angel of the House,’ that
-his three-days’ bride asked him to pay for the sand-shoes--‘Felix, will
-you pay?’--as a matter of course, is a mere man’s notion. I am certain
-she must have hated to do it, and would have given anything for some
-money of her own: so do not let Paterfamilias forget this, even if he
-have the conscience to allow his daughter to go penniless into her
-husband’s house; and let him give his daughter a nice little sum of
-money, in order that she may not have to ask her husband for a farthing
-until their return home, when the allowance question should be gone into
-and settled, thus doing away with the constant jar about money, which is
-at the bottom of more matrimonial unhappiness than is anything else.
-
-I think I have said all that is to be said on the subject of weddings,
-and have stated boldly how best to secure the happiness of our children;
-it is a subject on which I feel very deeply, and when I see girls marry
-men who cannot by any possibility make good husbands or good fathers, I
-long to tell them this, but of course no one but their mothers can; and
-I shall hope that I may influence one or two to do so, and moreover to
-insist that their children do not marry to perpetuate the disease or the
-evil tendencies that must wreck innocent lives that have no business
-ever to exist; for while, if marriage is entered into properly, there
-can be no failure about it, marriage being the perfection of life, the
-uniting and joining of the two lives, which, separate, are indeed
-incomplete, but which, brought together, form an absolute and wonderful
-whole, a marriage which perpetuates the vices of a drunkard, of an evil
-temper, of an habitual liar, or the constitution of a consumptive or of
-a lunatic, is absolutely wicked, and can never be anything but a curse
-to the wife and mother, whatever it may be to the man himself. A _roué_
-has discounted his chances of a happy married life. No woman can reform
-a _roué_, and even if she could she should not try, because in her
-children she will perpetuate the father’s vices, and will make the world
-worse a thousandfold by those she brings into it, while at the best she
-may save a soul, though I personally do not believe she could even do
-this; at all events, it is not right to sacrifice her future and her
-children’s future in the endeavour, and therefore I hope she may never
-try.
-
-As I said before, we cannot explain away the mysterious influence of
-heredity; but as it exists and is inexorable in its consequences, we
-must acknowledge it, and we must all do our best so to live that we can
-give our children the noblest inheritance on earth--an unimpaired
-constitution, and a name unstained by any mean or low vice, a name that
-may be our proudest possession: aye, even if we saw it first above the
-window of some suburban shop! Then shall the world become better because
-we have lived in it and given it hostages also: and so shall we prove
-what I should like to be always preaching--that marriage is the most
-blessed state on earth, if it is begun and carried on mutually with
-esteem, affection, and real consideration, for each other’s welfare.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-ABOUT THE BOYS.
-
-
-The poor boys! When I begin to write about their home I could almost
-weep when I think how small a space of their young lives they are
-permitted to spend under the home roof.
-
-I have said so much in my former book about home education that I
-suppose I must not say very much more now, but I long to repeat my
-protest against the present manner in which boys are sent away from
-home, almost before they are able to stand alone, quite before they are
-able to withstand all the thousand and one temptations that assail them
-the moment they are turned into the herd of boys which represents a
-school, and where the poor things have to spend most of what ought to
-be the very happiest part of anyone’s life. However, as public opinion
-is against me, I am going to set down here the best way of mitigating
-the evils, and I also intend to give the relative expenses at some of
-the best of our public schools and colleges, so that those who read this
-book may see at a glance whether they can afford to send their boys to
-Harrow, Eton, Rugby, or Clifton--Harrow being put first by me, as I am
-devoted to the bright, healthy, happy place, as I suppose all are
-devoted to the public school of which they know most; for, much as I
-deprecate the life at school which is so far away from home influence,
-and much as I should prefer to live at Harrow and have my boys home at
-night, there is something about a public school education which nothing
-else gives, and which can be entered fearlessly at fourteen if the boy
-have been well trained and if he have a certain amount of moral courage
-and good principles of his own. It is madness to send a weak-minded lad
-who inherits evil propensities to a public school; he is sure sooner or
-later to disgrace himself and his wretched parents at the same time.
-
-But before going into the question of schools and expenses there, let us
-dwell for a few minutes on the arrangement of the boys’ rooms in the
-house, which should ever be the happiest place in the world to them, and
-from which should flow that never-failing stream of sympathy in their
-progress, their pursuits, and their general welfare which has borne many
-a lad on to success and to a brilliant place in the world in after life.
-An authority told me once that the boys who did best were undoubtedly
-those who had most letters from home; who knew everything that was
-happening at home just as well as if they were there; to whom the
-movements of the family and of the animals were as familiar as if they
-still were among them, and who were not afraid to tell their parents
-anything. Sympathy is a priceless gift; sympathy between home and the
-boys at school is an anchor indeed, and will keep them safely in the
-harbour when every other means might otherwise have failed. And this
-sympathy can but be expressed in constant communication between home and
-school, and by a loving care, while the boys are absent, of their rooms,
-their belongings, and the especial niche which should be kept sacredly
-for them, and not cleared out hastily for them to inhabit, as it were,
-on sufferance during the all too brief holiday time they spend at home.
-
-I do not mean to say that during their absence the rooms should never be
-used, that would be simply too ridiculous; but they should not be taken
-into household wear; if they are they cease to be the boys’ rooms, and
-in consequence the boys feel they are a nuisance and putting some one
-else out; they do not naturally take their places in the circle, feeling
-they are filling a gap which has never been filled since the day they
-returned to school.
-
-I should certainly try to have a place set apart for the boys for wet
-days and for their own special occupations; if this cannot be managed,
-their bedrooms should be so arranged that at one end they can carry on
-their several hobbies without doing any damage to the finer portions of
-the house; but, if in any way possible, secure a sitting-room for them
-where they can do as they like; and if you want really perfect holidays
-find some enthusiastic skater, cricketer, or walker as holiday tutor,
-and make him responsible for the welfare of the boys. As they do not
-live at home, naturally there is no one told off to keep special care of
-them or to go about with them; if this is done, the holidays pass
-without a hitch, and without unduly threatening the mother’s life, who,
-try as she will, cannot be sure that, if the boys are out alone for half
-an hour longer than usual, they are not drowned, or lost, or lying in
-ditches with broken legs, and who can never school herself to be their
-companion, even should she be strong enough to be so, because she is
-always expecting something dreadful to happen to them. At least I know
-what I feel on the subject, and I suppose I only feel what everyone else
-does in the matter. In the boys’ rooms, whether bed or sitting rooms, I
-advise always the invaluable dado; this ensures the lower parts of the
-wall being kept tidy, and minimises the expense of doing the rooms up
-when they become shabby. A rail along the floor, or rather a piece of
-wood about three inches wide laid along the floor close to the
-wainscoting, will keep the chairs, &c., off the paint, and then, if we
-have a pretty paper above the serviceable matting, or cretonne, or arras
-cloth which forms the dado, we shall be quite safe to preserve the room
-for some time, looking fresh and nice and bright.
-
-If baths have to be taken in the boys’ rooms, or if they clean their
-rifles, skates, or other matters there, or if they have pet animals
-which share their abode, I strongly advise that the floor should be
-covered with a plain good linoleum without any pattern on, and then on
-the top of that a strong square of carpet should be laid. Wallace’s
-‘Victor’ is a capital carpet, and so is Pearke’s Anglo-Indian square
-carpet. This should not be fastened down in any way, and should be most
-rigorously folded back by the housemaid during those hours when bathing
-or dirty work is being carried on. The linoleum can always be cleaned
-with soft warm water, and kept in order with boiled oil and turpentine,
-and the carpet can be put back in a moment, thus making the room tidy at
-once.
-
-Rubbishy cheap furniture should never be bought for a boy’s room.
-Naturally by this I do not mean we should be unduly reckless over what
-we buy for the boys, but that we should go to some good man like
-Wallace, and tell him that we want good seasoned wood and handles which
-will not pull off, and drawers and doors which will not stick, and which
-will not tempt the lads by such conduct to undue violence in the matter.
-Boys are always in a hurry, always impatient. They can’t help it; it is
-a failing of the sex, and half the damage boys do is caused by the fact
-that we do not realise this and often give them rickety or common
-furniture, because ‘anything is good enough for the boys to knock
-about.’ There cannot be a greater mistake. Give strong ash furniture,
-made properly, a good plain brass and iron bedstead, and a good chain
-mattress, and we shall find it pay; yes, even if the boys play ship on
-the mattress, the necessary waves being well represented by the manner
-in which the mattress goes up and down when jumped upon by the intrepid
-sailors. Our mattresses have served as ships and as oceans too, but they
-are as good now as the day they were bought, simply because they were
-very expensive; but if they had not been dear I don’t think there would,
-have been anything left of them by now; therefore cheapness is no
-economy, as regards mattresses at any rate; of that I am quite
-convinced. A good suite of ash furniture containing wardrobe, washing
-stand, and toilet table can be had for about 10_l._, and I do not advise
-less being given. This should be supplemented by a chest of drawers to
-hold shirts, socks, &c., and the boots should be kept either downstairs
-in the cloak-room or else in a proper boot cupboard; and I strongly
-advise the toilet covers to be in art serge, simply trimmed by a species
-of edging in crewels composed of about nine stitches, one long, one
-shorter each side of the long stitch, and one each side shorter still,
-like this:
-
- | | |
- | | | | | |
- | | | | | | | | | |
- | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
- | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
-
-This should be carried round the edges of the cover in a lighter shade
-than the serge itself, and would cost about 2_s._ a cover, or indeed
-less, as serge is double width. There would be no ball fringe to pull
-off by shutting it heedlessly in a drawer, and there would be nothing we
-could not easily replace, should blacking, paint, oil, or any of the
-thousand and one messes in which boys seem to revel be spilled upon it.
-White toilet covers are absolutely useless, and of course it would be
-really ridiculous to give them more elaborate covers, which could only
-be spoiled.
-
-It would not be of much use here to give any special schemes of
-decoration for boys’ rooms, but I may say that the cheaper the wall
-paper is above the dado the better. Boys are continually adding to their
-stores of pictures and ornaments, and are as continually shooting at a
-mark on the wall with anything that comes handy, and are not above
-giving the flowers on the paper a nose, or a mouth from which a pipe
-proceeds, or ears which resemble those of a donkey; and though these
-decorations may be left a certain time it is best to have such a paper
-which, while being pretty, is one that we can replace without an undue
-struggle on our part; and I may mention Haines’s capital 7½_d._ blue and
-terra-cotta papers. The blue could have blue paint, and a blue matting
-dado, and a yellow and white ceiling paper; the terra-cotta might have
-ivory paint, a terra-cotta and green cretonne dado, and curtains of the
-same cretonne. Helbronner has a beauty, 604, at 1_s._ 8_d._ a yard, and
-the ceiling paper could be Land’s pale green and white ‘Watteau’ at
-3_s._ the piece. Wallace’s dull green ‘lily carpet’ would make a capital
-square there, as would his red lily in the blue room, where the cretonne
-could be Oetzmann’s red and blue Westminster cretonne, which should be
-lined, as should all cretonnes which do duty for blinds as well as
-curtains; this all curtains should do, had I my way entirely in the
-matter. The walls and books and pictures should be the boys’ own choice,
-and so should be the ornaments on the mantel-piece, though a clock
-should be invariably provided, and this should be one the veracity of
-which should be unimpeachable--punctuality must be enforced and hours
-kept, and no excuses should be allowed on this score. If the youth
-declares he wishes to make up for his perforce straitened hours of
-repose at school, let him go to bed as early as he likes--never
-interfere with that, but do not weakly allow him to be late in the
-morning; it puts out the whole household, and for no reason at all, and
-should never be countenanced for a moment. Late hours in the morning
-mean more than I have space to dilate on here; but you may be quite sure
-that a household which is late in the morning is never a well-managed or
-prosperous one. Late hours then denote lazy, self-indulgent habits, and
-therefore should never be allowed.
-
-If the boys begin them in the holidays be sure they will be continued
-after school is left, and therefore be firm on this point, although I
-know all too well how difficult it is to be stern and inflexible towards
-the boys who are only at home for the holidays, and naturally are in
-consequence just a wee bit spoiled by their indulgent parents. Now if a
-sitting-room can be given to the boys and the tutor, I advise it being
-furnished as prettily as may be as regards the walls, but the floor must
-not have a carpet, and room must be found there for the lathe,
-carpenter’s tools, and odds and ends so dear to the heart of the boy;
-and here let me beg and implore parents to aid and abet their children
-in any hobby they have, if they can do so reasonably and comfortably,
-and without undue expense; and let me also beg of them to keep and treat
-with scrupulous reverence any drawings, efforts of literary genius, or
-of mechanical genius, which their children produce and present to them;
-at the same time I do not advise their being exhibited to the world at
-large, while I should carefully explain to children, that the thing was
-kept, not because of its present intrinsic merits, nor because it was a
-distinct effort of genius, but because it was their doing, and because
-we should like to compare it with future efforts, in order that we may
-see how they have improved.
-
-Without going the lengths that ‘Misunderstood’ does (a book, by the way,
-which has made more prigs than any other under the sun, in my belief), I
-think parents often make their children miserable without in the least
-meaning to do so, by reason of the manner in which they refuse to
-interest themselves in their pursuits. It is not pleasant to partake of
-sticky black cakes baked in the dolls’-house pans, to sit on the cold
-stairs in the dark looking on at a spirited representation of a
-magic-lantern, the slides of which we know by heart, and we may endure
-agonies over the hundredth representation of the usual charade, neither
-may we feel profound interest in the School Magazine; but at the same
-time we are bound to think we do, and we ought to be more than thankful
-that our children care for these things and go in for them, rather than
-for the usual hanging about, reading those dreadful Rider Haggard books,
-which have done more harm than anything else, I verily believe, to the
-youth of the present day, and have vitiated their tastes, until nothing
-pleases them which is not written in gore and bound up in a mixture of
-pistols and swords, which is as odious as it is unnecessary.
-
-The boys’ books ought to form a very distinct feature in their
-sitting-room, and, if possible, we should endeavour to keep out all
-Haggardish stories. But this is almost impossible in these days of
-independence and fourpence-halfpenny literature. I know I can’t, and
-glorious detective stories and other works of art are to be found all
-over the house; but we must do our best to improve the standard, by
-placing other better books in the authorised bookcases, and by
-ridiculing and, if necessary, confiscating whenever we can all we so
-highly disapprove of. At the same time I honestly confess this is mere
-advice: I cannot stem the torrent myself, but hope there are other more
-strong-minded parents than I am, who may be able to do so, though I have
-done my best in the matter, and have tried everything I can think of to
-eliminate these books, for which I have the most hearty contempt and
-dislike.
-
-It would be no use, I think, to say more about the arrangement of the
-room which should be set apart for the boys; but I cannot say too much
-about the necessity of the dear things having a place where they can do
-absolutely what they like, for half the friction which seems to me
-inevitable in other people’s households, when the boys are at home, is
-undoubtedly caused by the fact that the boys are in the way, and have no
-place that they can call their own. Under these circumstances they worry
-their sisters, spoil the furniture, and upset the servants; and more
-especially does this happen in London, where there is nowhere for them
-to disport themselves, and nothing that they can do except promenade the
-streets and go to theatres and such-like places of amusement.
-
-Of course, little boys can be managed well. They have their nurseries
-first, and then their governess and schoolrooms. It is when they begin
-to go to school that the trouble begins. The governess does not care
-about them preparing their lessons in her room; and if they are day
-boarders, which they certainly ought to be until they are twelve or
-thirteen, and, indeed, until they go into the big school, where they
-should be when they are fourteen and not a day before, the lessons must
-be prepared at home, and this work should doubtless go on under the
-superintendence of someone in authority. Parents often can and do help
-immensely, but there are very few men who do not find their classics
-decidedly rusty by the time they are required to superintend their
-children’s preparation; besides which they are, as a rule, tired with
-their own day’s work, and are not in the least inclined for extra
-labour, and often do not possess the necessary stock of patience
-required for this kind of employment.
-
-My ideal education would consist of sending the boys to a good school in
-the daytime, and in taking care that they prepare their work in the
-evening, under a good tutor, who would be trusted to simply superintend
-them, and to give the necessary help, but who would not do the work for
-them; he would not live in the house, but would simply come for the
-couple of hours during which the boys would work. This would do away
-with the great objection to home education, which is undoubtedly the
-work which has to be done at home, and which cannot be properly
-superintended unless someone is told off for the purpose, unless the
-parents are well up in the work of the day, and are furthermore prepared
-to give up almost all society for the sake of looking after the boys--a
-thing which should never be done, for it is most important that we
-should make and keep friends; if we don’t care for them for ourselves,
-we must care for them for the sake of the children, who would find
-themselves shut out of everything when they grew up did their parents
-withdraw themselves entirely from society when they were yet small.
-
-Of course a great many people cannot manage to live where there are
-really good schools, but equally of course a great many can, and when
-this can be managed it undoubtedly ought to be; and places like Bedford,
-where the schools are excellent, and Wimborne, where the Grammar School
-has improved mightily of late years, and where house rent is moderately
-cheap and living very inexpensive, offer especial advantages to a widow
-left with two or three sons to educate, and to military men and others
-who can live where they like, and have only their boys’ education to
-think about, Bedford being especially good for this purpose.
-
-I believe there is a book published which gives all necessary
-particulars about all these schools, and indeed about all the schools
-all over England, but I shall only mention those of which I have
-personal knowledge, as I am no believer in second-hand information: this
-can always be procured for special cases, and would be out of place in a
-book like mine, but I do strongly advise all who can--all who have no
-settled occupation that binds them down to a special locality--to live
-where they can have their children educated from the home roof. I am
-quite certain that this is the ideal and proper education, and results
-in a better class of man all round. They may not be as polished, their
-manners may not be as perfect, and they may be shy and gruff, but their
-morals will be ever so much better, and they will be better men in the
-highest sense of the word. For though they may ‘marry the lady’s maid,’
-like the youth in ‘Punch,’ at all events they will marry her; they will
-not degrade and then desert her, as alas! so many men do nowadays. But I
-myself don’t believe they would do anything of the kind; by far and away
-the best men I know are those who have been least away from home, and
-they are not among the unsuccessful ones of this life either.
-
-However, it is sometimes impossible for parents to manage home
-education, though in London there are so many opportunities, that it
-must be more a case of must than can’t, for there are Westminster, St.
-Paul’s, and the University College Schools, all of which can be managed
-after the boys are old enough to be trusted in the streets alone, and at
-the latter of which for the absurdly low fee of 8_l._ 8_s._ a quarter
-can be had the best education in the world, but where the boys need
-learn very little if they can scrape through the day’s routine without
-finding themselves in either the ‘black’ or the ‘appearing’ books; but
-even then they do not learn as little as they can if they try at either
-Eton or Harrow, where it seems to me the education given is especially
-useless for practical service, and can never by any chance fit the
-recipient for any real work that he may have to undertake.
-
-The perfect education should be that which most fits a man for his work,
-and no one can watch the manner in which we are being ousted by Germans
-from every place without allowing that their education has something
-which ours lacks, and that unless our boys can be taught to emulate
-their patience, perseverance, and eager quest after knowledge, to say
-nothing of their capabilities of existing on a pittance, we shall wake
-up some day to find our lads quite out of the running, because they do
-not understand life properly, and because they are unable to fight for
-themselves against the present overwhelming German invasion. There is a
-limpness, a passiveness about the boys of the present day that is
-something dreadful, and that I think springs in some measure from these
-fatal examinations, and the fearsome higher education. They see the
-prizes can only fall to the exceptionally gifted and hard-working
-members of the fraternity, and therefore they are dispirited before they
-start, knowing that, try as they may, they can never succeed. Far from
-stimulating most youths to work, the sense that unless they are geniuses
-they cannot pass the exams cripples them, and they cease to care to try
-for what they know they cannot possibly obtain, read how they may; and
-therefore I cannot but think the excessively high standard that must be
-reached nowadays in everything is a mistake, and that serious
-consideration should be given both to this and to the fact that our boys
-are not able to compete with the Germans because something in our
-scheme of education and learning does not permit them to do so
-successfully.
-
-Let us then give home education a chance and see what can come of that,
-and let our nurses be French and German, so that the children may learn
-these languages with their earliest breath; and, moreover, let us in
-some measure educate our children for what they are going to be. It is
-no manner of use to give those who are to be in trade the same teaching
-as that required for the learned professions; and I venture to state
-that if a man has to take to trade the sooner he does it the better.
-Eighteen ought to see him in harness of a light kind, but harness all
-the same; and I furthermore state boldly that it is absolutely waste of
-time and money and everything else to send boys abroad to school. They
-never do any good there, and they may get into most frightful mischief.
-If boys must be sent to France or Germany, take them yourselves,
-otherwise you may be quite sure that both time and money are wasted. I
-am not speaking without book, and I have never heard of one school,
-either in France or Germany, where the education was of the least use,
-neither will it be until more schools follow the example of Clifton, and
-form settlements abroad on the lines of our public schools; though even
-then I am inclined to adhere to my own opinion and urge on parents,
-whose sons require to know French and German thoroughly, to go to both
-places themselves, and stay a couple of years in each in some good town.
-If they do they will achieve their object, and their boys will command
-far higher prices in the labour market than those can who do not know
-any languages except their own, and a certain amount of Latin and Greek,
-which, it seems to me, they learn only to forget as soon as ever they
-can manage to do so.
-
-But if parents will not hear of home education they must most carefully
-select the preparatory school, and they must manage to afford in
-addition a first-rate public school, for nothing can possibly be worse
-than a cheap or inferior place of education; and it is an astonishing
-fact to me that in such an important matter as is education one requires
-as a rule so little guarantee that we actually receive what we are
-paying for.
-
-No one can be a lawyer or doctor without credentials; anyone who likes
-can open a school, and command scholars too. Why should not the State
-interfere here?--it is very fond of interfering dreadfully on far less
-important matters--and say boldly that no one shall have a school at all
-until he has qualified himself in the eye of the State, and is diplomaed
-or hall-marked in such a manner that one can tell at once whether he is
-fitted for the work or not? Until this is done I much fear that
-preparatory schools will not improve to any great extent, and that the
-middle classes will continue to send their children to people who are
-utterly unfit for the work they have undertaken. A personal reference
-from some parent, often enough from one who knows little indeed about
-his children, and possibly a few letters after the name, are considered
-quite sufficient guarantee by most people that they are obtaining all
-that they are paying for.
-
-A good preparatory school costs from 85_l._ to about 125_l._ a year; of
-course less can be paid, and I dare say more can be paid also, but I
-consider an excellent school can be had for 100_l._ a year. Of course
-there are always extras beside, and these depend entirely on the means
-of the parents, and in some measure on the schoolmaster himself, who
-should undoubtedly be a man in whom we can trust, and to whom we can
-give our confidence, telling him exactly what we can afford to spend,
-and also what manner of child our special boy is, and also, most
-important of all, what he is to be, and what particular talents,
-weaknesses, or goodnesses he may be likely to inherit. We should also
-give our child our confidence. We should tell him emphatically what we
-can afford for him, what we wish him to do, and finally encourage him in
-every way to get on by writing to or seeing him constantly, and by never
-letting him imagine for one moment that ‘out of sight means out of
-mind;’ he is more in our minds, just because he is absent from us, than
-he would be were he constantly in our presence.
-
-As regards public schools, Harrow costs roughly about 200_l._ a year,
-and the first term’s bills are as follows:
-
- £ _s._ _d._
- Board and washing 30 0 0
- Public tuition and school charges 11 11 0
- Entrance to school and house 16 0 0
- Private tuition 5 0 0
- ------------
- 62 11 0
-
-Of course the 16_l._ entrance fees do not come in again, but this is
-more than spent on extras. There are subscriptions to endless things and
-payments for extra tuition, for which a long list of printed names on
-the first account in some measure prepares the unhappy parent, who
-somehow never is prepared, for the extraordinary amount of new clothes,
-mending, hair-cutting, and other trifles, which go to sum up the
-accounts in the ensuing terms.
-
-Eton seems to me to cost about 20_l._ a year more, and the bills of one
-term are as follows:
-
- £ _s._ _d._
- Board and tuition 44 0 0
- Washing 2 0 7
- Head master, school instruction, &c. 8 8 0
- ------------
- 54 8 7
-
-This is without entrance fee, and the extras seem to me to be rather
-more frequent, while Rugby is considerably less than either, the bills
-there being as under:
-
- £ _s._ _d._
- Tuition 13 6 8
- Boarding 24 0 0
- School stationery (this varies) 1 10 0
- Medical officer 0 10 6
- ------------
- 39 7 2
-
-Both at Eton and Rugby the allowance given by the house master is 1_s._
-a week, at Harrow 2_s._, but besides this of course the boys take money
-to school. The smaller boys at Harrow should not have more than 3_l._
-during the term, and out of this they must pay sundry subscriptions. At
-Eton I think the pocket-money can be almost anything, while at Rugby
-3_l._ does until the boy gets into the Sixth, when he should have more
-money, and when the books, a heavy item in most school bills, are far
-more expensive than they were in the lower forms.
-
-Individually I know most of Harrow, as I said before; but, as these
-bills have been copied from actual accounts rendered to friends of my
-own, I think I am justified in printing them, and they will also serve
-as a guide to those parents who are hesitating where to put down their
-boys’ names, a ceremony which should take place when the boys are about
-six or seven; and if the parents have no ‘traditions,’ and are not
-wedded to any special school by reason of the father having been there
-before, or relations on either side having been in the special school,
-the school should be chosen in some measure to suit the boy’s health,
-and also in some measure his future occupation. I should not send a lad
-who was going to work in any shape or form to Eton. That school should
-be reserved for those useless individuals, who toil not neither do they
-spin, nor should I send a boy to Harrow who intended to go in for trade
-or anything save one of the learned professions. Those who have a big
-business to go into might be sent to Rugby or Clifton, but I should
-prefer to let them attend St. Paul’s or the London University School, or
-else send them to Bedford or a similar establishment.
-
-When the boys are at school, the holidays should be in some measure
-legislated for and all arrangements made for the boys’ welfare; and of
-course no parent who cared for his or her children would possibly be
-away from home or out of reach of the boys during that time: the
-parents’ holidays, which are as important in some measure as the
-children’s, should come off when school has begun again, but on no
-account should they occur when the boys are at home; and if possible the
-summer holidays should be spent by the sea, the beloved sea, which, as
-fashion changes, is, I am sorry to say, becoming unpopular, and is left
-alone by those who are fashion led, and in consequence impelled towards
-the country or ‘foreign parts.’
-
-But of the holidays more anon; I have not yet quite done with the boys,
-and the holidays can have a chapter to themselves later on.
-
-I think the most important hint of all which I have to give is that on
-no account should a boy leave school or college until we have something
-to put him into, and which shall occupy his time. There is nothing more
-fatal than idleness, and it should never be countenanced in any shape or
-form, and I do hope some day to find that all boys who have to earn
-their living may be given some sort of a trade--something they can do
-with their fingers, outside and above any profession they may be going
-in for. Given a trade they can never starve, and would be far more fit
-for the colonies, where so many lads flit, looking forward to more
-freedom and more outdoor life than they can possibly have here in
-England, though I cannot imagine a more foolish thing than to allow a
-youth to go out ‘on spec;’ unless he has something to go out to, he had
-far better remain where he is; if not he will soon degenerate into
-something far less like a gentleman than he would have been had he
-remained at home and taken to some good and honest trade. I cannot help
-thinking that these ‘decorative’ days of ours will open up the furniture
-business to gentlemen, and that soon our houses will be provided for
-entirely by men who are artists, and that those who cannot originate,
-yet have artistic tastes and an eye for colour, will not despise work
-which is far more interesting than desk-work for example, and far more
-remunerative than the position of clerk, with which so many lads of the
-present day have to satisfy themselves. The gentlemen of England can
-bring back trade to England if they choose, they can replace the
-slovenly workman and the shoddy work, and it remains to be proved if
-they will do so; at present people’s eyes are open, and trade is no
-longer a badge of disgrace, so I hope some day to see industrial
-villages turning out good work, where at present are empty labourers’
-cottages and impecunious landlords with untilled farms; and in the
-meantime I beg our boys not to remain idle but to work somehow, it does
-not matter much at what, but at some work that will be good and must and
-will find a market.
-
-If a lad is going into one of the learned professions it is necessary
-that he go to college, where the expenses all told cannot be less than
-300_l._ a year, but before he does so his father should seriously tell
-him that whatever allowance he has is the extent of what he can give
-him, and that under no circumstances whatever will he be responsible for
-any debts of any sort or kind, and that doing what he is for him he is
-doing his utmost, and that he would rather see him go through the
-Bankruptcy Court than impoverish his sisters or his other brothers to
-pay his extravagant liabilities. Let this be well talked over at home in
-private, and I do not think the lad will place himself in the miserable
-and anxious position of many a young man who ladens himself with debt
-during his college life, which cripples all the best of his existence
-and embitters his days in more ways than one; but the boy must have
-parents on whom he can rely, and he must know that they mean absolutely
-what they say. There can be nothing more unfair than for the girls to be
-starved mentally and morally, and the younger lads badly educated,
-because a parent has to pay debts which ought never to have been
-contracted.
-
-Gambling debts should be utterly ignored by the parents, and gambling in
-every shape and form should be absolutely forbidden, the reasons thereof
-being plainly stated; and I think all parents should be more open about
-their circumstances than they are to their children, who often get a
-most erroneous impression about their people’s income, because of the
-manner in which they live. Why! because they have a carriage and a big
-house is the very reason why they can do no more, and why should the
-parents give up all they have justly earned because their children are
-extravagant? I see no reason myself, and I myself would certainly never
-do so to pay extravagant liabilities, or liabilities incurred on the
-gaming-table or on the racecourse.
-
-Give the boys a good education and a start in life, and provide the
-girls with 150_l._ a year, either when they marry or at your own death,
-and you have done your duty by your children. The girls cannot starve on
-that income, and neither would they be the prey of any fortune-hunter;
-but no one has a right to bring children into the world in the ranks of
-the upper middle-class and do less; misery will come of it if he does,
-be quite sure of that.
-
-Of course misfortunes may happen, and the parents’ early death may
-prevent an actually safe future being secured for the children; but, as
-a rule, an early death should be provided for by insurance, and
-misfortunes, if undeserved, generally bring sympathy in their train, and
-there are many mitigations, even for these, if parents are judicious and
-have not flooded the world with an enormous family that they can have no
-prospect whatever of providing for. As soon as the boys have finished
-their education let them begin to work; a lawyer can begin; a doctor can
-commence at once to wait for patients even if he cannot buy a practice,
-which would be the best thing to do; a curacy can be procured for a
-cleric, and if trades are chosen the sooner those trades are entered
-into the better; but whatever is selected never allow idleness of any
-shape or form. Idleness is the parent of all mischief. A man well and
-healthily employed has neither time nor inclination to go very far
-wrong.
-
-Let the boys be encouraged to have tastes, and above all let every lad
-in England join some Volunteer Corps. I consider it a duty for every man
-to be able, and to show himself willing, to protect his home, and if he
-is encouraged at home he will volunteer, and will take an interest in
-his work, which will be invaluable to him. The expeditions are pleasant;
-all lads love a gun, and adore being able to shoot, and if the taste is
-acquired in the school cadet corps it will continue afterwards; and
-remember that all out-door sports and occupations are so many
-safeguards--tennis, bicycling, volunteering, shooting, hunting, riding,
-are all so many protections against temptations, to which all lads are
-exposed, and on which of course it is impossible for me to speak here.
-
-To sum up the advice I would give about our boys, I would say that love
-of home, love of sport (not racing, not battue, nor pigeon-shooting, nor
-similar inanities, but _bonâ fide_ sport), and love of an out-door life,
-are the great protection for the lads. Do not encourage theatre-going
-and endless balls and society affectations, but do encourage in every
-way you can those things of which I have been writing. I am sure then we
-shall have a healthier and a better race than the ‘masher’ Gaiety
-bar-lounger, for whom I have such a profound contempt, or than the
-race-frequenting, betting, ‘lemon-squash’ consuming, nerveless,
-brainless idiot that is so extremely prevalent in the present day.
-
-As soon as a lad is eighteen he ought to have some definite allowance
-for all his small expenses and to enable him to clothe himself, and this
-must depend entirely on his parents’ circumstances, and where he is and
-what he is doing. Of course, if he should be placed in his father’s
-business he must be paid for his services, and this pay must cover all
-he spends; but as a rule 50_l._ is ample. A man can dress well and
-decently on 30_l._, the other 20_l._ he can do what he likes with; and
-he should be encouraged to save for a holiday in ‘foreign parts.’ He had
-far better travel about than smoke his senses away, or waste his money
-in going to theatres and in-door amusements of any kind.
-
-Boys are an endless anxiety, there is no doubt about that, and it is
-greatly, no doubt, owing to that fact that the system of sending the
-boys away to school has arisen; but although they are at school we
-cannot get rid of our responsibilities, neither should we try to do so.
-We are responsible for their existence, and we are bound to do the best
-we can for them. We shall, I am sure, be rewarded for all they have cost
-us, if we never relax our care until they are really grown up and are
-capable of managing their own lives; then, if we have trained them to
-love their home and to habits of work and occupation, we can do no more
-but trust in Providence; we shall have our reward sooner or later, of
-that I have not the smallest doubt.
-
-As soon as a man can keep a wife he should marry and begin to make a
-home for himself. I am a great believer in early marriage, and I should
-like all my boys to marry as soon as ever they can. There is nothing
-teaches a man as the responsibility of marriage does, and nothing on
-earth is happier than a happy marriage. It is the complement of life,
-the perfect whole that all should strive to attain; about that subject I
-am quite sure, and none of the stock arguments against marriage, nor the
-stock jeers, will ever alter my opinion. Of course there are troubles,
-if so they are borne better together; pleasures come, they are
-brightened by having someone to share them; and above all, marriage
-makes the home; the home gives an object in life and steadies at once,
-therefore marriage should be encouraged in every way it can, and those
-who are married should help on the marriage of others, and should show
-by their own conduct and bearing that it is the best state on earth, if
-undertaken out of pure love, not silly passion, and maintained in the
-mutual respect, affection, and toleration for each other’s faults, which
-are the very bonds of the home, and which last when every slighter bond
-has given and fallen away. Once our boys are married we can breathe
-again, at all events our active work for them is over; and the less we
-interfere with them after that happy event the better chance will they
-have of making a success of their lives. All we have to do is to win the
-love and confidence of their wives, and that is not difficult if we
-never offer advice on any subject, and give them as much affection as we
-can. Above all must we resist the dear delight of talking over their
-_ménage_ with other people. ‘A still tongue means a wise head,’ says
-the proverb, and a tongue cannot possibly be too still, when once there
-are sons and daughters-in-law in the family.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-SOME DOMESTIC DETAILS.
-
-
-I think that I am more often consulted about how to manage servants, and
-how to apportion an income, than on any other detail of domestic
-management, and therefore I am of opinion that a few more words on these
-subjects may not be out of place here, although, as I have repeatedly
-stated elsewhere, no real help can be given by a stranger on either
-matter, and that only a species of general rule can be laid down, either
-about the management of the maids or how to set apart and divide the
-income we may have to spend. To begin with the income: I have had two
-scales drawn up by an accountant, and now present them here for what
-they are worth. The first is the very smallest income that any two
-people should marry upon, in my opinion; although I know many folks,
-especially among the ranks of the clerics, who ought to know much
-better, who continually do so, and as continually have numerous
-families, for which they cannot provide in the least, and for which they
-beg in the most shameless manner, and for whom I have neither sympathy
-nor patience. As a rule these unfortunates live in the country and have
-big gardens and houses found them rent free, but I have nothing to say
-to them here, and, as I cannot conceive how ladies and gentlemen can
-bring up, clothe, and feed their children, and manage their household
-respectably on less than 800_l._ a year, I have no ideas on the subject,
-and therefore cannot write on what I know nothing about.
-
-Let us therefore take the ordinary young lawyer or young man who is
-‘something in the City,’ that unknown City, the occupations of which are
-so mysterious in my eyes, and let us suppose he has 500_l._ to spend
-every year, increasing, let us hope, should he indulge in the luxury of
-a family; a luxury he has no more right to go in for on a tiny income
-than he would have to set up a carriage and pair, without being able to
-pay all the concomitant expenses; and this is how he should parcel out
-his expenditure:
-
- £ _s.__d._
- House-rent in London 80 0 0
- Rates and taxes 20 0 0
- Repairs to house and furniture 30 0 0
- Two servants’ wages and keep 90 0 0
- Keep of self and wife, _at least_ 75 0 0
- Clothes for wife and pocket-money 50 0 0
- Clothes for husband, including his daily
- luncheon and City journey 70 0 0
- Coals 6 0 0
- Life insurance 27 0 0
- Summer outing 12 10 0
- Washing 16 0 0
- -----------
- 476 10 0
-
-Leaving: the magnificent sum of 24_l._ 10_s._ to cover doctors’ bills
-and the thousand and one incidental expenses which are always cropping
-up, to say nothing of amusement. One could hardly rise to the upper
-boxes on 500_l._ a year if one must live in town and have appearances to
-keep up as well.
-
-It is better at first, if the income is very small, to live in the
-suburbs. There are not so many temptations to spend money, and there
-would not be much going out. In London of course, the going out is
-endless; there must be cabs, new gloves, flowers, and the hundred and
-one extras that carry off one’s money, and two servants are a _sine quâ
-non_. If the suburbs are selected, cabs and evening gloves, &c., need
-not be legislated for; one servant could do the work; and the house-rent
-and taxes would come to 50_l._ instead of 100_l._; but there would be
-the husband’s season-ticket to consider, and furthermore the intense
-dulness that is the wife’s portion, for suburban residents are not
-hospitable; they are, most of them, not very well off, for of course all
-rich people fly to London; they are mutually suspicious of each other’s
-_bona fides_, and are, moreover, engrossed as a rule in their domestic
-duties, and when the husband returns from town he is not only tired with
-his work, but with the added railway journey; he usually hankers after
-his garden in the summer and his arm-chair by the fire in the winter,
-and does not care to go out, more especially as he judges from his own
-feelings in the matter, and is quite sure his host wishes him at home in
-bed quite as much as he wishes himself there.
-
-But, again, here I must show how impossible it is for another person to
-really advise a friend on this subject of division of income
-satisfactorily. There are plenty of suburban residents who are
-absolutely satisfied with their fate, and are equal to the misfortune of
-a small income. In that case I have told them precisely how they can
-manage best on the sum of 500_l._ a year. I can assure them they will
-have to be most economical and excellent managers to do that; and they
-can furthermore understand that it costs about 50_l._ a year to add a
-child to the establishment, and that 45_l._ a year is supposed to keep
-and pay a servant. These two details will be of assistance, maybe, when
-the income increases and the owners thereof contemplate a little
-launching out.
-
-An income of 1,000_l._ a year should be apportioned as follows:
-
- £ _s._ _d._
- House 100 0 0
- Rates and taxes 33 0 0
- Repairs, renewals, &c. 50 0 0
- Two servants (rather better wages allowed) 100 0 0
- Keep of self and wife 100 0 0
- Wine, &c. 12 10 0
- Clothes and pocket-money for wife 75 0 0
- Clothes for husband 100 0 0
- Coals 10 0 0
- Insurance 50 0 0
- Summer outing 30 0 0
- Washing 26 0 0
- Balance for incidentals 313 10 0
- ---------------
- 1,000 0 0
-
-And this larger balance would be drawn, upon for the extra expenses,
-such as entertaining and amusements, charities, and the thousand and one
-pleasant ways of spending money that are open to the possessor of the
-larger income, and are rigorously out of the reach of the owner of
-500_l._ a year.
-
-Then, too, there are all sorts and conditions of things to consider
-before laying down a law on the subject of apportioning the income; such
-for example as the consideration if the income dies with the husband,
-or if it may come from capital safely invested. In the former case the
-insurance ought to be very largely increased, as that is the only
-absolutely safe manner of saving one’s money. As a rule it costs about
-27_l._ a year to insure the receipt of 1,000_l._ at death if the insurer
-is a young man, and I ask all intending bridegrooms to consider what
-this would mean if this be all the provision they can make for their
-brides, supposing they were to die and leave them with two or three
-little children and no other means. They could not live on 40_l._ a
-year, which is about all they would receive, and I therefore do trust
-all young men will seriously consider the matter before rushing into
-matrimony. At present a great many folk are like the ostrich, they bury
-their heads in the sands of present content and never consider the evil
-days that are before them. If they remain two, no one can blame them,
-but I do blame unendingly the selfish creatures who burden this
-overcrowded world with more genteel paupers. If people on small incomes
-insist on doing this, let them have the courage to bring up their
-daughters as upper servants and their boys to good honest trades; it is
-the genteel pauper, the girl who can paint a little, teach a little, and
-embroider a little, and the boy who, come what may, must wear a black
-coat or its equivalent in light tweeds, who have no right to be made to
-exist, and for whom the world has absolutely nothing to offer save a
-certain amount of snubs and a very large quantity of the unappetising
-dish known as the cold shoulder.
-
-Therefore, if the income dies with the husband and there are children, a
-certain amount of money must be put aside annually for insurance; it
-ought to be enough to bring in 100_l._ a year to insure the wife from
-starvation when she is too old, too worn with all she has had to do to
-attempt to keep herself; and there should also be no false pride about
-the manner in which the children are educated; they should go to Board
-schools, where the teaching is excellent and far better than one can
-procure at ordinary small schools, which may be much more ‘genteel’ but
-will not be half as useful; for the Board schools are far and away
-better than anything that could be obtained from the wretchedly
-underpaid teachers who would be the girls’ portion. The necessary
-companionship with wretchedly poor and dirty children, which is the
-great drawback to a Board school education, could be mitigated if all
-those who are really worthy of the Board school education were to share
-it; and surely a good mother could tell her boys exactly what to avoid,
-and the lads could come straight home and simply be taught in the
-school. The girls would not need so much looking after, for they are far
-more conservative naturally than boys: boys will play with and talk to
-anyone; a girl very soon discriminates for herself, and will not play
-with another if she suspects her to be in the very smallest degree below
-her in the social scale.
-
-It will be observed that I do not in the least take a sentimental view
-of life, for I feel that when one contemplates the terrible army of
-martyrs, the girls who have been ‘genteelly’ brought up and are
-‘genteelly’ starving or living on their most unwilling and hard-working
-relations, one cannot say too much or write too much on this subject,
-and I cannot also but think that when there is the cry in the land that
-there undoubtedly is for more servants, more good and trustworthy
-lassies to help us with our domestic duties, and that when ladies in
-Australia are so pressed by their troubles and by the fact that they
-cannot get ‘help’ for love or money that they are actually driven to
-write to their papers to suggest that men may marry more wives than one,
-because no one but a wife is found to do house work, and that one wife
-is not sufficient for the purpose, it is quite time that the surplus
-maidens should consider whether it is quite as impossible to become a
-servant as it appears to be now. As decorators, governesses, and
-spoilers of canvas, they are undoubtedly not wanted, but they are
-required badly for simple domestic work, which is, none of it, half as
-hard as unlimited tennis, dancing all night, or rowing: not any of it
-half as unpleasant as is living on the begrudged charity of some
-relation, who wants all his hard-earned savings for his own children, or
-as degrading as is marrying the first man who asks them, and who can
-give them some sort of a home, for whom they have not the smallest
-respect--the very smallest amount of affection.
-
-Now, of course there are disagreeable details about house work, and
-scrubbing cannot be pleasant, but surely the ‘scrubber’ could come in
-daily and do up the worst of the ‘chores,’ as the Yankees say; and what
-is the rest? Waiting at table, not half as unpleasant as selling at
-fancy fairs; opening and answering the door, not half as hateful as
-bringing one’s wretched little painted match-boxes and tambourines to an
-overstocked guild, or a most unsympathising and equally overstocked
-shopman, who is often far more impertinent than any caller ever could be
-to the lowest maid in the establishment; and I personally should prefer
-to make beds, wash china, dust rooms, and clean silver to hanging about
-listlessly in a shabby frock, knowing quite well that I could never have
-another unless some reluctant relation gave me one she would much rather
-have given to her own children; and I cannot recollect any duties which
-would be expected from the girls which I have not enumerated above, or
-that they could not honestly undertake in a sheltered home and under
-proper matronly care.
-
-And if all servants were ladies--and I see no reason why every servant
-should not be a lady if she tries--think how much more our houses would
-be our own than they are at present! Even with the best of maids there
-are always places in it and corners where we feel we cannot go exactly
-when and where we like, and where, try as we will, we cannot be
-absolutely sure that thorough cleanliness prevails and where, moreover,
-we cannot be ‘decorative’ because all our efforts are frustrated by
-those who cannot shake off their early training and can no more refrain
-from smashing china and scraping paper off the walls than they can learn
-to trust us implicitly and in their turn allow us to trust them.
-
-Remember, I personally never can nor will join in the fearful outcry
-against the maids which I hear on all sides of me. I have related my own
-experiences in Vol. I. of this book, ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ and I have
-not one word to add or take from what I have said there. I still
-maintain, if you take your servants young and train them yourself, and
-if you don’t expect perfection and show that you mean to be obeyed, you
-will have no trouble; but you will never have perfect service until you
-can have ladies in your house, whose ladyhood will ensure the perfect
-trustworthiness, the honesty, the cleanliness that no cottage-bred girl
-can ever give, because she can never be taught to really comprehend the
-necessity of all these particulars.
-
-Mrs. Crawshay’s scheme of lady helps has, I believe, quite collapsed; at
-all events, one hears nothing about it now; but I see no reason why an
-earnest effort should not be made to try sending our superfluous girls
-to Australia as lady helps, and then, if that succeeds, trying them in
-England, where there seems to me to be a real and crying want of good
-domestic servants. I am only judging from other people’s woes; for,
-although I dare say I have mine before me, I have not experienced them
-yet, and have always been able to find what I wanted without any undue
-exertion on my part. Of course the house would have to be reorganised to
-some extent. The bedrooms would have to be as fresh and pretty as one
-could make them; and, above all, we must reform our kitchens, which are
-at present the most unhealthy, disagreeable, and odious rooms in the
-whole house, as they are undoubtedly the ugliest, and where, in ordinary
-households, the unfortunate maids have winter and summer to sit while
-the cooking is done, and in heat that I wonder allows them to live at
-all, and that must exasperate their tempers as much as it must try their
-constitutions.
-
-Now let us consider the ideal house and the ideal kitchen, and I cannot
-see myself why both should not exist; let us build our washing-stands so
-that hot and cold water are able to be turned into the basin which can
-overtip and empty itself; smaller conveniences could be managed in the
-same manner, and all the housemaid would have to do would be to wipe out
-the basins daily, to sweep up the pieces with the ‘Ewbank’
-carpet-sweeper, which makes no dust and picks up every morsel off the
-floor, to make the beds and dust, the very making of the beds being
-simplified by the chain and hair mattresses now general. All that has to
-be done is to turn the mattress daily, to spread the under blanket and
-sheet absolutely smoothly over it and tuck them in, to replace the
-bolster and pillows, and the over supply of blankets, &c., carefully
-straightened and tucked in. Is that harder than tennis, more menial,
-forsooth, than living on one’s relations, or husband-hunting genteelly
-under the greatest of all difficulties, the difficulty of looking nice
-and merry, and being good-tempered, on absolutely no means at all?
-
-Now let us take the ideal kitchen, the kitchen as made and designed by
-Mr. G. Faulkner Armitage, of Stamford House, Altrincham, Cheshire, who
-has most kindly drawn for me the different pieces of furniture with
-which he decorates this charming room of his, and which, in the
-Manchester Exhibition, were stained green and decorated with brass
-hinges and locks, and see how we could adapt this to our present style
-of house, the house with the tiny kitchen, the smaller laundry, pantry,
-and scullery, and where there is not an atom of sitting-room apart from
-where all the work is going forward. In that case is it worth while to
-make a pretty room, and if we do can it be possibly kept so? I think it
-can, even with our present maids, whose taste for the beautiful is not
-largely developed; it most certainly could if we are given the maid of
-the future, the real lady-maid, who may come forward to the rescue of
-those unhappy beings who at present haunt the precincts of registry
-offices and spend small fortunes on advertisements which can have only
-the most barren results.
-
-But before I go on to speak of the ideal kitchen and the cook of the
-future; who will hardly concern my readers, as she is not born at
-present, or if she be is certainly not ready for engagement, I should
-like to say a few words about the best manner to obtain servants,
-repeating continually that if we require good ones we must take them
-ourselves and train them ourselves. I am always met, when I state this
-fact, by the unanswerable argument, ‘I have neither time nor patience to
-teach my servants; I can pay good wages. I want to engage skilled
-labour.’ Skilled labour may be had for money, there is no doubt, but the
-person who engages her maids on these lines will never have good or
-affectionate servants. She will be waited on, dressed, cooked for
-admirably, no doubt, but she will obtain nothing beyond her mere
-bargain. For better wages, a more aristocratic place, her cook will
-leave her in the lurch, despite the fact that she may expect to be laid
-up or to have most particular and important visitors at the very period
-when the old maid departs and the new one comes in. Her nurse will
-extract her pound of flesh in the shape of holidays and outings, whether
-the baby is teething or not, or whether the children are all miserable
-with colds, or she herself long to lie down with a bad headache. The
-housemaid will go to her ‘church or chapel,’ to her promenade with her
-ever-changing young man, whether she has unexpected guests or not; and
-she will never know the extreme bliss and comfort of possessing friends
-in the kitchen, who give up their own holidays because they are sure
-their mistress is not fit to be left, who regard the children as if they
-were as much theirs as they are the mistress’s, and who finally think of
-her and hers, and her comfort, as she does herself. No mere hired help
-will do all this. You must have maidens whom you have carefully trained;
-you must take trouble--aye, and never-ending trouble--about them, unless
-you wish to join the ranks of those who are always abusing their maids
-and yet would not lift their fingers to assist themselves. And then,
-again, you must undoubtedly train yourself at the same time not to
-expect perfection.
-
-Think of our own girls. Are they always to be trusted at tennis and at
-balls to maintain that serene and demure deportment which of course we
-always did, and which we naturally expect from our daughters, especially
-where young men are concerned?
-
-Do they never flirt? Are they never found missing at critical moments,
-for example, when the carriage is at the door, and Paterfamilias is
-divided between anxiety for his horses and wrath at being kept waiting?
-Do foolish little notes never pass? Are flowers never given to the most
-detrimental youths of one’s acquaintance? And finally, do our own
-daughters always keep men at arm’s length? Are they always truthful,
-always obliging, always careful about their own rooms and the things
-which are committed to their charge?
-
-I leave each mother to answer for her own daughters. I should not like
-to answer for all the girls I know, and I seem to remember episodes in
-my own past (was it mine, or did it belong to some one I once knew very
-well indeed, I wonder?) which I should rather not confide to my
-daughter, and indeed which I should not care to hold up to her as an
-example of what all girls should do, and which often make me very kind
-to the maids when I meet them promenading with the youth who calls for
-orders or the man whom I scarcely recognise out of his livery; and it is
-far better to know such things will happen, and to keep a kindly eye
-over these affairs, than to scold vigorously and declare that whatever
-happens no followers of any sort or kind shall enter your chaste abode.
-Neither should they until the engagement is a _bonâ-fide_ one, and one
-that you know is allowed and smiled upon by the girl’s parents. This you
-should ascertain for yourself--another reason for taking your maids
-young and from a family of whose antecedents you know something from
-your own observation. And I never think much harm can happen from these
-promenades if great stress is laid upon the fact that all must be at
-home after dark, and that in winter no one must stay out after 8.30.
-Then the house door should be locked and the key brought upstairs,
-either in town or country; there is always the front door to come to,
-and there is no reason why everyone should not come to that.
-
-I am no advocate either of very hard and fast rules, and I maintain that
-it is very difficult to make, and still more difficult to keep, set
-regulations which circumstances may alter at any given moment. The only
-thing that must be insisted on is punctuality; without punctuality no
-household can go on, no establishment can be in the very least degree
-managed or carried on. The servants become slovenly; and it is
-impossible to get through the work, because no one knows when the meals
-are to be, or when the beds can be made. Therefore, the first rule, and
-indeed the only really important rule, is that which makes the meals
-regular, and the attendance thereat compulsory on all members of the
-family, children and temporary members, such as visitors, alike. After
-that, and when we have demonstrated how the work is to be done, we
-should stand aside and not interfere unless it is absolutely necessary;
-then a few quiet words are enough. Whatever you do, do not ‘nag;’ a
-servant that requires acrimonious scolding and continual ‘telling’ had
-better go, and another should be had at once.
-
-The best way to find a servant (if your ‘place’ has a good name) is to
-inquire among the tradesmen. If a good servant is leaving her place, she
-always tells the butcher and baker; she never goes to a registry office.
-If she is leaving to better herself, her mistress can soon find her a
-place among her own friends; there would be no need for her to go
-elsewhere, and I do not think a really first-rate maid ever goes
-anywhere except to her mistress or to the tradespeople, who are all
-delighted to help her to find what she wants. An advertisement in the
-‘Guardian’ or ‘Morning Post’ is another excellent means of obtaining a
-recommended servant, and I hope some day to find that the clergyman’s
-wife in each country parish will turn herself into an amateur registry
-office for all the young girls under her husband’s charge. She should
-teach them in the kitchen and nursery and train them in nice ways, and
-be always possessed of some maiden she can send out into a better place.
-Of course the Girls’ Friendly Society does something of the kind, but
-the good that it does is largely discounted by the evil ways of many of
-the ‘associates,’ who cannot help interfering egregiously and stupidly,
-and so bringing what ought to be an absolutely perfect organisation into
-contempt.
-
-In London there is only one way of finding good servants, and that is by
-advertising in either of the papers I have suggested, saying ‘Apply by
-letter only,’ or else the advertiser will be inundated with a class of
-persons who apply on the chance of picking up something in the hall, or
-of getting their ‘expenses’ paid. No unknown person should ever be left
-alone for a moment in the hall, and on no consideration should anyone
-pay the ‘expenses,’ which often exist in the imagination only, and would
-be amply recouped were twopence handed over to the applicant to cover
-her omnibus fare; that even should be given with caution, for, absurd as
-it may sound, there are people who exist on applying for situations,
-which they accept and give excellent references to empty houses, and
-promise to come in at once, to commence the duties required immediately.
-The mistress, overjoyed at the idea of securing such a treasure, gladly
-pays the fare to some country station, to be refunded, of course, out of
-the first quarter’s salary, and goes off for the treasure’s character,
-when she promptly discovers she has been done, and that if such a house
-does exist at all it is either closed entirely or lived in by someone
-who has never heard of the treasure, who naturally is also not to be
-found at the home address, that was given so glibly and written down so
-very carefully.
-
-A written character should also never be taken. The most exquisite
-handwriting, the best of all note-paper, duly embellished with a crest,
-address, and monogram complete, are no safeguard, for servants have been
-known to steal note-paper, and in these days of universal education a
-good hand is not to be trusted in the least. Even if the family with
-whom the servant lived has gone abroad--and this is the favourite reason
-always given when a written character is produced--there must be some
-relation or friend of the last employer still left in England who would
-not object to speak for a maid, who if worth anything at all must be
-known to someone outside the mere inner circle of the house itself; and
-this should be insisted on, especially in London, where an unknown
-servant is often the friend of the gentle burglar, and can do an immense
-amount of mischief. Indeed, when I thoroughly sift the numerous
-complaints which reach me about servants, I invariably find them caused
-by the fact that the maid has either been procured by a registry office
-or taken with only a written character in the most careless way, and
-with not half the precautions we should take before we engaged ourselves
-to call on a new comer to our especial district. We demand very strict
-credentials from anyone we admit to our house as a mere acquaintance; we
-let anyone into the house to live as a servant who can produce any scrap
-of writing, or procure any registry-office keeper to speak for her
-capabilities and character.
-
-I am not speaking without due thought on the matter. Of course there are
-absolutely trustworthy registry offices, and some written characters may
-be genuine; but as a rule neither is to be trusted, and it is far better
-to do one’s household work oneself than to engage someone of whom we
-know no more than can be told us by an individual eager for the hiring
-fee, or from a bit of paper probably written on by the applicant
-herself.
-
-I actually know a case where the mistress had to go into the
-neighbouring town to search for a cook who had been missing for
-twenty-four hours, and who found her locked up in the police court for
-drunkenness and riotous behaviour, and who discharging her on the spot
-was surprised to find the woman a few weeks after in a friend’s house.
-The registry-office people had answered for her character; although the
-first mistress had taken the trouble to place the report of the case in
-the local papers in the registrar’s hands, and the cook was in
-possession, needless to remark that she broke out again and is no doubt
-carrying on her practices in another confiding mistress’s house at this
-very moment.
-
-A written character introduced a butler into a friend’s house, which he
-promptly burned to the ground in a fit of blind drunkenness, while
-another servant in another house was found in the act of carefully
-concealing a burglarious parent in a convenient cupboard; and indeed I
-do not think I am exaggerating when I say that every case of ‘bad
-servant’ that is brought under my notice originates in either of these
-two particulars, and that if due care, aye, and even what may appear as
-_undue_ care, is taken about the manner in which a servant is engaged we
-shall soon hear far fewer complaints than we do at present; while by
-raising the tone of our maids and ensuring that only really
-good-charactered servants will be employed, we shall get a better class
-of girl to take to service, and we shall thin the ranks of unemployed
-dressmakers, telegraph clerks, and shop-girls, and shall bring them back
-to the sheltered, safe, untempted lives that are the portions of all
-those who are in good places, under the care of conscientious and
-thoughtful mistresses.
-
-I think many writers--Mr. Besant, for example--have done great harm by
-the manner in which domestic service has been run down; and when I am
-called on to pity and weep over the case of the ‘sweated’ sempstress,
-the underpaid, unsettled governess, the miserable shop-girl, who cannot
-sit down and to whom all sorts of unpleasant internal miseries happen
-because of her hard work, I absolutely refuse to do so. There are plenty
-of good sheltered homes waiting for these girls, either here or in
-Australia, where they can be fed and well looked after, where they have
-every comfort, and where they are as absolutely safe as if they were in
-a palace, indeed, much safer, as maids in palaces are left much to their
-own devices and can get into as much mischief as they please, and there
-is therefore no reason for their unhappiness save and except the absurd
-one of wishing to be their own mistresses.
-
-‘Freedom! I want my freedom. I would rather starve than be obliged to
-brush my hair neatly, to give up my drowned ostrich feather, my screams
-of unbridled laughter in the streets, the delicious joy of trailing up
-and down a gas-lighted road, and, in fact, of being my own mistress.’
-That is the argument put into the mouth of the factory girl, only, of
-course, in not quite such plain language, and much applauded. Now, if
-so, don’t ask me to weep over the girl who talks like this, because I
-shall not do it. Freedom is about the worst thing in the world for a
-young girl. She requires a guiding hand, as, indeed, in my opinion, all
-women require one, all through their lives; and, after all, who is freer
-and less trammelled than a good servant in a good place? She has no
-anxieties, no troubles. Whatever happens, her wages are paid to the day,
-and her food is unfailing. Indeed, when troubles are disporting
-themselves in the drawing-room the maids seem to think ‘more food and
-oftener’ an excellent panacea. And she can have her holidays and her
-walks too whenever they can be managed; while for the large class of
-girl who becomes, or rather wants to become, a nursery governess, are
-there not endless other situations crying out for them, where as upper
-nurses, ladies’ maids, or good cooks they could be sure of occupation
-and of ending their days in comfort, having been able to save, which
-they could never have done on the 15_l._ a year of the ordinary nursery
-governess, who does all the mending and bathing, and, indeed, in some
-cases, much more of it than falls to the share of an upper nurse, who
-yet ranks below the governess, because she is a servant.
-
-Now, I think that, if the young people who marry on about 300_l._ a
-year, and can only afford one maid, would try this plan of engaging some
-girl who cannot get a situation as nursery governess, and work together
-with her, they would be far more comfortable than they otherwise would
-be. All their things are new and pretty, the bedroom nice, the kitchen
-fresh and comfortable. A young bride on a small income must help with
-the cooking and bed-making. Surely this would be much more pleasantly
-carried out if the maid were in some measure a friend. I can assure you
-that old-fashioned servants I know have far better claims to be
-considered of a good family than dozens of girls who pitchfork
-themselves into the governess ranks, and consider themselves members of
-the aristocracy from that date.
-
-To sum up, then, our case: if we require a comfortable house we must
-take our servants young and train them ourselves, or we must be very
-sure that the servant is what she claims to be, and that the character
-she is provided with is a good one; and, finally, we must endeavour to
-refill the ranks of upper and better-class servants from the
-overstocked ones of nursery governesses and unoccupied girls, whose
-parents have not provided for them, and who are unable to do a single
-thing by which they can in any measure help themselves.
-
-There are stupid, careless, and even unkind mistresses in the world, but
-as a rule servants are considered and very kindly dealt with, and there
-can be no reason why a girl should refuse a sheltered home and work that
-is not as hard as many other kinds of labour, and that should be amusing
-and pleasant, in a small household, or even in a large one, where the
-housekeeper is a lady and the upper servants are distinct and separate;
-a nurse of course having her own rooms and being waited on far more than
-is the governess, who after all in the eyes of the domestics is neither
-one thing nor another, and has often enough to go without or see after
-her own comforts.
-
-But until that halcyon day arrives we must, as I remarked just now, be
-very particular about the maid’s references, and we ought then, if
-possible, to make the acquaintance of her mother, and also, if we can
-manage it, of the clergyman who prepared her for confirmation. Of course
-this means trouble. Yes, it does, but not half as much trouble as is
-caused in the endless procession of new servants which passes through so
-many houses, leaving behind it traces of its progress in the shape of
-ruined brooms and brushes, burned-out saucepans, smashed crockery, and
-bladeless knives, all of which must be replaced as one goes out and
-another comes in, in a manner which almost ruins the unfortunate master
-and enrages the mistress proportionally.
-
-And now to turn to the question of how to make the kitchen a little
-pleasanter than it is at present, especially in those houses where there
-is no servants’ hall. The best of cooks only succeeds in making her room
-look spotlessly clean and absolutely uninteresting; there is nothing
-pretty about it, and there is, as a rule, nothing save the ordinary hard
-Windsor chair on which to sit. This is quite right and what it should
-be; but besides that there could be an easier chair for the tired
-servant, who presumably can get quite as fatigued as we can, and for
-whom we could provide a low-backed chair with cushions (easily taken out
-and washed) once we have come to the conclusion that she is
-
-[Illustration: FIG. 17.--An Ideal Kitchen.]
-
-likely to stay with us and that she is to be trusted not to make hay
-with it.
-
-Our artist has made a sketch of ‘an ideal kitchen’ from Mr. Faulkner
-Armitage’s designs, which I hope will some day be the kitchen of the
-future. Here the dresser and mantel-piece arrangement provide for all
-the necessary pots and pans, while the furniture is as simple as it is
-pretty, and in consequence has an artistic effect which is really
-charming.
-
-This furniture is stained malachite green or russet brown, whichever is
-preferred; with the green furniture, the tiled paper on the wall, which
-is much nicer to live with than mere colour-wash and is quite as clean,
-as it can be wiped over with a damp duster quite easily, should be red
-and white, and the paint a dark shade of red; with the brown, the paper
-should be blue and white, and the paint a good blue, and all along the
-wall on the floor should be a two-inch band of wood; this keeps the
-chairs away from the wall; but if the base of the wall becomes shabby a
-dado of oilcloth can always be added with a real dado rail; this keeps a
-wall tidy for years, and can always be washed, and finally painted over
-should the pattern crack or become in any measure worn and untidy. The
-ordinary boarded kitchen should be covered entirely with a good,
-well-seasoned linoleum, and a square of carpet lined with a thin
-American cloth should be given to the cook to place down on Sundays, or
-after the worst of the work is over; this gives a finished and furnished
-look to the room, and adds a great deal to the comfort of the maids. A
-stone floor should be painted with Hoskyn’s Ben Trovato red, and some
-rugs laid down at all times, as this is very bad to stand upon. I had
-linoleum laid all over the only stone floor I ever possessed, and that
-answered excellently; it was put down so that it adhered to the stone in
-some manner, and lasted a very great many years in excellent condition;
-but should anyone object to this I can also recommend a square of
-Treloar’s cocoa-nut matting, bound all round with a wide binding; but
-this should be rolled back for cooking, as grease adheres to it
-dreadfully and soon makes it shabby.
-
-The kitchen windows are always rather a trouble to arrange, as generally
-they are basement windows, and muslin so soon gets out of order with the
-steam and general mess; but if the cook takes pride in her windows and
-likes to wash her curtains herself there is no reason why she should not
-have the same kind of white curtains that there are in the bedrooms; but
-let all come from the top of the window, half-blinds being dreadful, and
-looking worse, in my opinion, than no blinds at all. In windows on a
-level with the garden or street one must have obscured glass, either
-cathedral or ribbed glass. This, of course, is rather hard on the maids,
-who are not thus able to look out, but it cannot be helped: it is
-impossible for the kitchen to be so much in evidence as it otherwise
-would be, and no muslin is as effective a screen as the obscured glass
-is.
-
-There should always be inside bars and shutters to any basement or
-ground-floor windows, and nothing should be kept downstairs which can
-possibly or in any way tempt the prowling burglar. All silver should be
-taken upstairs to the master’s room, and there should be a small dog
-loose downstairs; a dog frightens a thief dreadfully, as he is quite as
-much afraid of his bark as ever he is of his bite.
-
-The basement in a London house is often a dreadful possession, as there
-are so many places where a thief could conceal himself in the daytime.
-No doors, then, should ever be left unbolted; and the master should,
-furthermore, make a practice of going round the very last thing at night
-to see that all is safe, or else there can be no security at all.
-Sometimes the servants may descend again and hold unholy revels;
-sometimes an open or unguarded door leaves access to the place; and an
-unexpected visit from a tramp may alarm us as much as would a
-professional visit from a burglar. We cannot impress this on our
-servants too often, and we impress it on them a thousand times more
-forcibly than we otherwise should when they see our nightly patrol, and
-know we have supplemented their bolts with a visit of inspection. Then
-the door at the top of the stairs should be bolted, barred, and locked,
-and the key removed. This should be given into the care of the butler if
-there be one, or into the safe keeping of the cook; and we may retire to
-rest feeling safe that even if the tramp comes, or the thief is in
-hiding below, he will remain in the lower regions, and can do nothing
-worse than have a feast in the larder or break a few panes of glass in
-his efforts to escape.
-
-It will seem to my readers that one has to take endless trouble, to see
-perpetually about endless trifles, as long as we are householders, and
-have the management of a family on our hands. Yet once started on good
-lines, and matters are not so difficult as they appear; still, of
-course, no life of great responsibility--indeed, no life at all--can
-ever be entirely happy and entirely easy. Those who have least to do
-become bored and tired by mere inactivity; those who have most, wearing
-out instead of rusting out.
-
-All comes to an end some day; there is no doubt about that. Strive as we
-may, death waits for us all, and our carefully trained household falls
-apart and drifts away; our furniture wears out, our carefully amassed
-hoards are turned over and parted among our successors; some one else
-takes our house, and obliterates with his personality the last traces of
-ours; and if we have refused to do our work, or let things slide, we
-shall speedily be forgotten; but if we have honestly done our work, what
-of it? Our maids carry on our good lessons elsewhere; our hoards make
-someone else happy, and the example we have set bears fruit a
-hundredfold, and someone is always happier, some household better for
-the work we have done. No matter, then, if we have fallen out of the
-ranks, tired out; we have done our work, and so can retire gracefully,
-being quite sure that none of our trouble is wasted, and that not one of
-us has toiled in vain.
-
-And I maintain that we cannot ever take too much trouble about our
-homes, that we cannot have them too pretty or too well managed, and
-that, moreover, once they are started, they are easy to keep going,
-always supposing that we have regular ways and rules, that we do not
-muddle, and that we pass over nothing that requires attention, let it be
-a braid off a chair, or the misdemeanour or disobedience of a servant or
-child; the one should be mended, the other spoken to at once, then
-things will go on like clockwork, and we shall be fairly astonished to
-find how well things progress and how admirably they manage themselves.
-
-Start well, start carefully, and then all one has to do is to steer
-straight; after all, steering is not very hard work, and that is all one
-has to do once the ship is fairly loaded and under way.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-THE SICK ROOM.
-
-
-In all large houses there ought undoubtedly to be some provision for
-infectious illness. Of course I know that there are excellent fever
-hospitals, where one can be despatched at almost a moment’s notice,
-where an ambulance will deposit you, and where the best nursing and
-doctoring can be had at a most moderate outlay; and I, for one, highly
-applaud those courageous souls who telegraph for the proper conveyance,
-and depart, cutting themselves off from their homes, and at the same
-time from any chance of handing on their complaints elsewhere, with one
-fell swoop. But, much as I admire and applaud, nothing would, I fear,
-induce me to follow their laudable example. To know how to be ill is a
-fine art, and this accomplishment is quite thrown away on those who
-regard one merely as a ‘case,’ and talk about one as if one were a mere
-chattel left with them to repair, and return with the utmost speed.
-Moreover, I maintain always that one’s bodily health depends immensely
-on one’s surroundings, and that it would take double the time to get
-better in a hospital than one would in one’s own home, where one could
-see one’s friends out of the window and catch even a far-off whisper of
-what was happening, and see even from the greatest distance some of
-one’s old, accustomed sights. In an ordinary house, as at present
-arranged, it would be absolutely impossible to have even the smallest
-amount of infectious disease without running the greatest risk of
-handing it on to all the rest of the family; but there could be in most
-houses such arrangements made, were the builder a man of sense, that we
-could have a hospital room, a room sufficiently isolated to ensure
-immunity from infection, and yet near enough to do away with the
-hopeless feeling which seizes the ordinary mortal the moment he hears he
-has ‘something catching,’ and which enables him to understand what were
-the feelings of the lepers of old, who had to flee from the sight of
-their fellow-creatures, calling out aloud as they ran, ‘Unclean!
-unclean!’ Of course we ought not to feel angry with those who refuse to
-come near us; indeed, had I my way no one should ever enter a house
-where there was small-pox, scarlatina, or diphtheria; but we do resent
-it somehow, despite our own common sense and the knowledge that we
-should forbid the call our friends are so anxious not to make if they
-attempted to come near us; and there is no more miserable feeling than
-that which seizes us when we are told that we have a complaint in our
-midst which may prevent us from being on the same footing as the rest of
-mankind for several weary weeks, or may be months. But, before going
-into the matter of what we should do when infection is in our house, let
-me for a moment speak about the room we should all of us possess ready
-for an emergency and into which we could retire were we ill at all, not
-only ‘infectious’ but ill in such a way that we may require careful
-nursing, many fires, and absolute quiet and rest.
-
-We should select a room at the top of the house unless we are building
-our house; in that case we should have a couple of rooms added on at one
-end, with a bathroom, lavatory, and tiny kitchen range in a third room.
-This should make a sort of annexe to the house; it should be reached
-from outside, and a passage, closed at one end with a plate-glass door,
-should communicate with the rest of the house. I once knew such an
-arrangement as this, and have always hankered after it, more especially
-as it allowed one member of a family of eight children to have scarlet
-fever at home without in the least endangering the lives of any others
-of the family, while the mother could see the child daily through the
-plate-glass door, although she could not nurse her herself. She ran
-absolutely no risk; the plate-glass door was as safe as the solid wall,
-and over it always hung a sheet steeped in carbolic acid. The child was
-nursed among familiar surroundings; the doctor could visit it without
-passing through the house; all the food could be placed so that the
-nurse received it without the smallest risk, and, in fact, the
-arrangement was so absolutely perfect that I cannot understand why
-possessors of large houses and good means do not always keep some rooms
-of the kind ready. No family can go through life without illness; it is
-much easier to bear when all is prepared for it, and there is no
-dreadful domestic upset to add to our natural anxiety and trouble when
-illness comes upon us all.
-
-Now, given such houses as these, or even the single room quite at the
-top of the house, which would be next best (and although these have
-their disadvantages, they are generally quieter than any other), I
-should proceed to decorate them prettily. I should paint the walls
-first, and then I should paper them with the very cheapest blue paper I
-could find. I think Maple’s 4½_d._ blue and white paper would be best,
-and I should have ivory paint, the 4½_d._ a piece white and yellow
-ceiling paper, and curtains of 1_s._ 6_d._ a yard serge in art blue
-double. There is nothing here which cannot be replaced at a very small
-cost; yet everything would look pretty and bright and fresh; and I
-should have the floor parqueterie or else covered with matting and rugs.
-The rugs could be removed in a moment if anything infectious were the
-matter, while the matting could be disinfected or destroyed; but this
-should remain. It smells fresh, it never accumulates the dust, and
-always looks nice, in my opinion. In illness looks are everything, and
-it is absolutely necessary for things to be neat and pretty; else the
-patient will be worried to death without really understanding why he is
-being worried.
-
-The bed should be a good wide one--a double one. This gives room for the
-patient to move about in. It should have a wire mattress and a good hair
-mattress at the top, four pillows, and a bolster, and it should have an
-ample supply of venerable blankets for under use. Those for over use
-should depend on what is the matter. New blankets and an eider-down are
-lighter and warmer than anything, and if these are required they must be
-had, even if afterwards they have to be destroyed. There should be no
-washing or dressing apparatus visible (these can be kept in the
-lavatory), but there should be two or three of the stained wooden chairs
-sold by Pither, 38 Mortimer Street, W., which are comfortable enough for
-the doctor and an occasional visitor or for the nurse on duty (too much
-comfort often induces sleep), and which can be wiped over daily. There
-should also be a wide, deep wicker armchair, nicely cushioned, and there
-should be a long chair for the invalid, where he or she could rest while
-the bed is made or remain when convalescence has begun, and the bed may
-be left for some hours at least. The long deck chairs are not suitable
-for this purpose, as, being made of wicker, they creak in the most awful
-manner, and are not comfortable in the least; but there are some long
-narrow beds used as camp beds, which can be put up at any angle, and
-have an iron frame filled in with sacking, on which a cushion is placed.
-This makes the most comfortable lounge of which I know, and should be in
-every sick room or room set apart for the purpose of nursing. They can
-be bought at almost any ironmonger’s, or at any place which caters for
-Volunteers or those who do any luxurious camping out. There should be
-pictures on the walls, and a bookcase, and above all there should be a
-screen of some kind or other. The pictures should be of the cheapest;
-some of those lately issued by the ‘Illustrated News’ people, which
-resemble old Bartolozzi prints, would do admirably, as the frames could
-be disinfected, the glass washed, and the pictures themselves destroyed.
-The bookcase could be varnished or re-Aspinalled, and the books burned.
-Books are fearful methods of conveying infection, and carelessness about
-this cannot be too harshly condemned. It is far better to destroy
-everything, no matter how precious it may be, than run the very smallest
-risk of passing on even what may be considered a mild complaint, for
-that which is mild in one patient often causes death or great suffering
-in another whose constitution is unfitted to cope with that special
-disease.
-
-Once the room is ready and looking pretty, the next care must be to see
-that it is kept properly aired and that nothing gets out of order, and
-that all the things for use are in their places; then we need not think
-any more about the room, which should be under the charge of the
-head-nurse of the establishment; but, especially where there are
-children, it is absolutely necessary that we should be prepared for
-emergencies, and know exactly what to do should there be any necessity
-for prompt action. There are a series of rules printed by the National
-Health Society, which should be hung up in every nursery, and there
-should be, moreover, a box containing simple remedies for sprains
-(arnica), cuts (calendula), and burns (oiled silk, oil, and cotton
-wool), and the nurse should keep the key. But, whatever happens, her
-remedies can only be temporary ones; all her instructions should end
-like those to the ambulance experts, ‘Send for the doctor.’
-
-Now, although I am certainly no advocate for constantly sending for the
-doctor, and though I maintain that for small children a good nurse is
-worth all the doctors under the sun, I do maintain that immense comfort
-and safety are procured by an early visit from the doctor if we are
-fearful that anything is wrong above the common. But I maintain equally
-strongly that to be able to do this we must be very sure of our man; we
-must be able to trust him, and we must be quite certain that he is an
-honest man, who will not trespass on our credulity or fatten on our
-fears, and who will have the necessary courage to tell us straight out
-that we have nothing to fear and that we need not send for him again, or
-at least that he will not come again until we do send for him. Above
-all, let us, if possible, keep to the same doctor. Nothing is more
-stupid than to change him, unless we are absolutely obliged to do so,
-for he understands his patients’ constitutions if he has always had to
-see after them. A new man cannot possibly do so at first, and much more
-depends on a doctor understanding what he has to deal with, as far as
-heredity is concerned, than one quite comprehends. People would not be
-quite so ready to change their medical attendant as they very often seem
-to me to be if they thoroughly believed in this.
-
-And now comes the great subject of nursing. I was much amused the other
-day to see an indignant article from someone who abused the present
-generation of mothers because they did not nurse their children
-themselves in cases of infection, and because their first idea in an
-emergency was to send for a nurse. Now I maintain that that is the very
-wisest thing anyone can do. A mother, as a rule, is the worst person in
-the world to nurse her own child; her fearful anxiety makes her nervous
-and communicates itself to the patient, who ought never to know that
-anyone is the least anxious about him. Her face betrays her, and her
-shaking hands play her false, and on a thousand grounds it is far better
-to have a trained nurse than to trust to unskilled though loving
-nursing. A mother may never have had the smallest experience of nursing
-until she is called upon to exercise any little talent she may have for
-it on behalf of her nearest and dearest. She becomes frantically
-miserable at symptoms a nurse understands, and are often enough symptoms
-for good; she cannot raise a patient and give him food comfortably, as
-does a woman trained to the work, and she cannot be the ‘half-doctor’
-all nurses ought undoubtedly to be, and indeed are nowadays, unless she
-has had training; a course of training, by the way, which would be most
-distasteful to many and absolutely impossible to the few.
-
-A nurse is born, not made; of that I am absolutely convinced from my own
-experience. I do not think anything would make me personally fit to
-nurse anyone, much as I should like to do it. Were I called upon to turn
-nurse I could undoubtedly keep a room neat, smooth a pillow, and fold a
-sheet over properly; but I stand by in amaze and watch a friend of mine
-who has never been trained, but is a born nurse, who knows exactly how
-to lift her patient, when and how to give beef-tea and medicine, and who
-does easily and without effort what I cannot do at all, try as hard as I
-may to follow her excellent example. She may be anxious, she never shows
-it in the least; she may be tired to death, she does not look it; her
-voice is always at the right pitch, and though she naturally is not
-merry when there is danger, she maintains an even cheerfulness which is
-delightful, and as restful to the patient as it is most undoubtedly
-restful and reassuring to the patient’s friends. Now, sentiment
-apart--and sentiment should never be considered in the very least degree
-where real work has to be done--surely my friend is better able to
-nurse, and a much safer nurse, than I should be; I, who have honestly
-and seriously tried to overcome my stupidity and dread of sick people,
-and who visited at a hospital regularly until I was utterly and
-completely routed by seeing a man in a fit, since when I have avoided
-hospitals and have quite come to the conclusion I should never be a
-nurse. Therefore, is it not wiser for people in real cases of dangerous
-illness to engage women who understand their work? I am convinced it is,
-and strongly recommend anyone who is advised by the doctor to send for a
-nurse to do so. He will always be able to tell them where to send; if
-not, they can find any amount of addresses in that most useful and
-excellent little book ‘Dickens’s Dictionary of London.’ But the doctor
-should find the nurse in infectious cases, for, as a rule, he knows
-someone with whom he has worked already, and of course these nurses have
-to be sent for in a hurry; one does not make preparations for and look
-out for fevers as one does when a small baby is expected; about that I
-have said all I have to say in my other book, and shall not therefore
-say anything here on that absorbing subject.
-
-Everybody should remember that illness, instead of deadening our
-faculties, undoubtedly and at once heightens every one we possess. We
-see more acutely most certainly; our smell and taste are exaggerated in
-the most painful degree, and little annoyances and inferior cooking,
-which we scarcely notice, or indeed notice not at all, when we are well,
-try us most dreadfully. If we are to eat at all, all must be absolutely
-clean and free from grease, and sent up spotlessly; there must not be a
-suspicion of carelessness, or inevitably we shall turn against the food
-and send it down untouched. Likewise, creaking shoes, rustling paper,
-banging doors, crooked pictures, dusty tables and chairs must not exist
-where there are invalids; and, above all, I am convinced that until a
-person is actually and positively dead no one should talk about them
-over their bodies, thinking they are insensible. I am certain that
-insensible people, so called, are often far more sensitive than either
-doctor or nurse will allow, and I know I myself have often heard things
-which were never meant for me to hear when people have thought me
-asleep, but when I have really simply been too tired to open my eyes;
-and I shall never forget the expression that flitted across the face of
-a dear old lady who was absolutely dying, who had not swallowed for two
-days, or spoken for a great many more, when her daughter and maid spoke
-of the mourning and funeral by her bedside heartlessly. She heard and
-understood, although she undoubtedly had no power of letting us know
-that she did so. And I, moreover, have been told by a cousin whose
-recovery from a frightful attack of blood-poisoning was miraculous, and
-who most certainly was merely saved from death by her doctor’s
-unremitting care and the excellent nursing she received from him--he
-never left her once for over forty-eight hours--that she knew absolutely
-everything that went on, that she heard every single word and whisper,
-and that she most certainly would never say a word in the presence of
-any ‘insensible’ person that could pain or agitate him in the least,
-for when she appeared most insensible to on-lookers she was really far
-more sensitive than she had ever been in all her life: her hearing was
-absolutely acute, and every sense seemed on end, a feeling I can
-corroborate from my own experience, though I have had no really very
-serious illness, but have been ill enough to comprehend this
-supersensitiveness and to understand how absolutely quiet and restful
-should be the conditions of any invalid. It sounds absurd to say that
-noise can kill anyone, but noise can; a sudden shock can undoubtedly
-snap the thread of life, while noise constantly wearing on the brain can
-do endless harm, especially to those who are predisposed to notice and
-resent continually unpleasant sounds. And now I want to give a hint to
-many among us who are abjectly miserable because they fancy they have
-some incurable complaint, and yet have not the sense or courage to
-really go to a good doctor and learn what is the matter, or indeed
-whether there is anything the matter at all. The tiny lump which appears
-on the neck may be nothing but a little swelling of a gland, or it may
-be cancer; the dreadful pain that seizes the chest may be heart or it
-may be indigestion; anyhow, whatever it is, it is far better to know
-what is the matter than to wear oneself to death in wondering if we have
-or have not a fatal disease.
-
-If we have not, well and good; if we have, what, after all, does it
-matter? We have all fatal diseases, if it comes to that, and we are all
-absolutely sure, unpleasant as is the fact, that we must die, and it is
-something to know a little about the means and time by which we shall
-have to shuffle off this mortal coil; and, moreover, we can undoubtedly
-save ourselves endless trouble, and stave off the last day of our lives,
-if we learn early in the day what we have to avoid, and how best we can
-manage our lives, many having lost them entirely because they literally
-had not the courage to go to the doctor, or went to him so late that he
-had sorrowfully to confess he could do nothing, albeit he could have
-done much had the patient come to him when she or he first began to
-suspect there was anything amiss. I could, I am sorry to say, quote
-examples from my own dear and intimate friends of the evil done by this
-cowardly dislike to face the worst, and I therefore feel very strongly
-on the subject, and implore any of my readers who may suspect a lurking
-disease to face it. It may be nothing but fancy; even so, the fancy
-should be exorcised. It may be fatal; then the doctor will lay down
-rules at once for guidance, and even if death is imminent it is just as
-well to know this. There are things to do quietly, and one’s house to
-set in order, albeit there is no need to make the lives of all one’s
-relations burdens to them; neither need we make ourselves miserable
-beforehand by everlasting contemplation of the inevitable parting. Be
-quite sure, whether it comes at 100, at 20, at 40, we none of us realise
-or relish the idea, but when a thing must be it is best to accept it
-gracefully; people will remember us much more kindly if we go
-cheerfully, and do not make them all wretched by kicking against the
-pricks.
-
-And, above all, remember if you have a disease to keep the fact to
-yourself and to your doctor; no one else wants to hear about it, and it
-is interesting to no one else. If you become an invalid you can be both
-cheerful and useful, although I know how hateful--how truly hateful--it
-is to put up the once active feet, and cross the once busy hands, and
-simply listen to what we once used to do. I know too that a good
-listener is highly appreciated, and that many a happy home finds the
-heart of the house round the invalid sofa, where can always be found
-someone who is always at home, always disengaged, always willing to help
-and anxious to hear, and who has a most profound interest in all that is
-going on, despite the fact that she is out of the action, and can only
-take a passive part in the life that seemed once as if it could never go
-on without her.
-
-Moreover, an invalid should never become absorbed in herself, in her
-treatment, her medicine, and the progress of her malady; having found
-her doctor to be trustworthy, she should do as he tells her, and after
-his visit she should utterly decline to speak of herself; she should
-read, if possible work (how I do wish I could sew, or knit, or do
-anything on earth save read and write!), and, above all she should be
-absolutely nice and particular about her clothes, which should never
-degenerate (unless it is absolutely necessary) into the dressing-gown
-stage. Loose garments are untidy, and anything untidy or
-‘dressing-gowny’ assists the invalid idea, which should be kept in the
-background as much as possible.
-
-Then there is another thing I should like to mention, and that is that
-invalids should always have their affairs settled, and their wishes as
-regards the future of their children or their property entirely and
-properly understood--that is to say, understood and settled as far as
-anything can be settled that is so unknown as the future--and while a
-man is an absolute criminal who neglects to make his will, a woman is
-equally foolish who, having strong feelings on subjects which will
-concern her children, or may be the place of her burial, does not write
-such a letter on the subject to her husband, to be opened after her
-death, as shall lay all her wishes before him, but only as wishes: the
-dead hand should never fetter anyone; at best it should only indicate
-the course which the owner would have followed.
-
-In but one case should a man or a woman who has property put an emphatic
-embargo on the future proceedings of the husband or wife, and then only
-if there are children, and that is in the case of the husband or wife
-remarrying. Under these circumstances the property should go absolutely
-into the hands of trustees, to be administered entirely for the use of
-the children, who are often enough defrauded of their father’s or
-mother’s money, which goes to keep some lazy man or extravagant woman
-who in their time may produce children to share that which was only
-meant for the owner’s own offspring.
-
-This rule should never be departed from under any circumstances: it
-should be absolutely out of anyone’s power to defraud children of what
-was intended for them alone by the one parent who had money. This does
-not prevent a man or a woman marrying again; they had the same chances,
-if they wanted them, as they had before; but it does prevent the
-children being robbed, as I have known them robbed, in more than one
-case, by their silly mothers, who, yearning for the love and protection
-they have lost, cast themselves into the arms of number two, doubly
-flattered at being wooed when their first bloom has vanished, and find
-themselves saddled with men who neglect the business they were supposed
-to keep together, or squander the money saved so hardly and set aside so
-carefully for those who cannot help themselves or stay the marriage
-that will inevitably spoil their home life if it do not wreck their
-futures.
-
-Let the wife have all control until she marries again; then someone else
-should step in, as undoubtedly if a woman does not care to remember her
-husband she will not care to assure herself and protect his children
-from an extravagant, improvident man; and of course a man should be
-treated in the same way; all control as long as he remembers his wife,
-none when he ceases to do so and would maintain a successor out of the
-money she meant for her children’s welfare.
-
-Now all this can be managed, and, indeed, should be managed, on the
-wife’s part by a letter written to her husband, and on a man’s by a calm
-conversation with his wife, who of course will vow that nothing on this
-earth would induce her to marry again; but, unfortunately for her
-argument, example can be brought against her of people who have said
-just the same, who have wept in the marketplace and wrung their hands in
-high places, ‘so to speak,’ and yet have married generally ‘for the sake
-of the dear children’ before they had worn out their mourning, and
-therefore her protestations can be gently set on one side with the quiet
-statement that in that case the money will be in her own power. This can
-show no lack of confidence in the wife; it simply shows a lack of
-confidence in any possible future husband, and a consummate knowledge of
-human nature, which forgets disagreeables speedily, alas! and accepts
-hurriedly any chance that may present itself of obliterating a mournful
-memory and changing one’s trappings of woe for newer and far more
-beaming garments.
-
-I never could understand the sensitiveness that prevents some wives and
-husbands from ever speaking of the future that must come when they will
-be separated. There need be no continual discussion of the mournful
-subject, but it should be discussed thoroughly when the will is made; it
-need never be spoken of again until circumstances arise that may cause
-some alterations to be made, or codicils added; anything that may be too
-painful to discuss can be written in the final letter of farewell. Then,
-if one has no accumulations of other folks’ letters, if one’s drawers
-are tidy, one’s bills paid, and one’s conscience clear, there will be
-nothing to make anyone extra-miserable after we have departed; we shall
-have done our work, left everything in order, and shall leave nothing
-but a pleasant memory behind us.
-
-Death as a rule is either made unduly awful, or is a time of the most
-extravagant expenditure. The immense quantities of florists’ wreaths
-sent nowadays have brought into disrepute one of the most charming ideas
-possible, and the money once devoted to black plumes and undertaker’s
-millinery of all kinds, to extravagant mourning and absurd woe, is now
-squandered equally extravagantly and absurdly on wreaths, which cost
-from 15_s._ to 30_s._ each, and which are simply thrown into the earth
-to perish there untimely. Not for one moment would I deprecate the use
-of flowers entirely, but let them be arranged by people who loved me,
-and really bound them together because they knew I loved them. I would
-rather spend money, or have money spent, on some useful memorial than on
-a perishable wreath; and were I to die to-morrow I should say, Give me
-as simple, as cheap a funeral as you can, and give the money to my pet
-charity. It could be done in my name, and would be a practical
-remembrance of me, and a far more useful one than hundreds of wreaths.
-Why, I once saw a funeral in mid-winter where there were over 300
-wreaths. This would have almost built a ward in the Hospital for Sick
-Children; it would certainly have helped the good Sisters at Kilburn,
-and have done great good to the children there, who had always been
-loved by her whose funeral it was. And in the same way would I deprecate
-a ‘handsome’ coffin and elaborate headstone; neither can do any good to
-the dead, and the memory of those we have loved can be perpetuated a
-thousand times longer should we content ourselves with the simplest oak
-coffin we can get and the plain cross, which will last as long as anyone
-could wish it to, while the money saved can be given elsewhere. Everyone
-has some pet scheme that could be benefited by his or her death; no one
-but the undertaker and florist is benefited now.
-
-Another reason why we should not encourage the sending of an immense
-quantity of flowers from our friends is, that there is something almost
-ghastly about the false air of festivity given by the constant receipt
-and opening of the parcels and boxes in which they are sent; in the
-list of names which, must be written out, in order that all who sent
-may be thanked or their names mentioned in the local paper; and in the
-smothered remarks of the servants and children as they look at the
-beauties, and compare the present one with the last one laid on the
-coffin in the room which is so familiar and yet has become so fearfully
-and wonderfully strange.
-
-But if flowers need not be sent (and I wish I could think all would send
-the money instead to some special fund), letters should always be
-written. They may not be read at first--nay may never be really read at
-all--but the name of the writer will always be remembered warmly, and as
-that of one who knew that sympathy is the most precious gift we can any
-of us receive when we are in the depths, and that dark curtain descends
-which seems as if it would lie for ever between us and the outside
-world. Ah me! no matter who has died, it will rise again, and life will
-flow on just the same as if we had never lost those who were so near and
-so dear to us.
-
-Undoubtedly, too, though we should none of us ever call at the house to
-inquire after a scarlet fever, small-pox, or diphtheria case, we should
-let our friends know through the post that we are thinking of them. If
-their child is ill we can make up tiny parcels to send. A few flowers; a
-paper doll; a few old books, which can be burned as soon as read;
-‘scraps’ to paste into books; odds and ends which cost nothing and can
-be destroyed without a pang, often making a small child’s day of tedious
-weariness and slow convalescence, an entirely different thing to what it
-might have otherwise been; and the idea of what to-morrow’s post may
-bring has, to my knowledge, more than once soothed a tired little girl
-to rest; for she would go to sleep easier when she remembered that the
-sooner the night was over the sooner the familiar ring would be heard,
-and the lovely parcel would arrive, which might contain nothing more
-costly than glass beads for stringing, or some roses and a cheap little
-vase to put them in, but which was a never-ending source of wonder and
-delight, until the child was well and able to take her place again among
-her brothers and sisters.
-
-In the sick room, which may be the death chamber, sympathy, always
-precious, becomes an absolute necessity, and a tedious day of pain is
-often borne more courageously than it otherwise would have been, and
-passes quicker than it otherwise might have done, if we know that people
-are thinking of us and wondering if there is anything they can do to
-lighten our time of trouble and to help us bear the inevitable misery of
-it all. A sick person, or an invalid, should never be forgotten. I
-verily believe half our dread of death comes from the fact that we know
-that soon we shall be as if we had never been, and that our place shall
-be taken by another and shall know us no more.
-
-When we are quite sure that there is an infectious disease in our house,
-we ought to be compelled by Act of Parliament to register the fact at
-some convenient place, where a list of houses similarly infected should
-undoubtedly be exposed in a prominent place. None should be exempt from
-this law, and the doctor should be the person responsible for the
-registration, a severe penalty, moreover, being inflicted in any case of
-wilful misrepresentation or of the withholding of proper information of
-the outbreak.
-
-That the penalty is necessary is proved by the fact that I once knew a
-country doctor speak of a bad attack of scarlet fever as a mild case of
-rose rash, because he was abjectly afraid of losing the patronage of the
-dame whose child it was, and who objected to the isolation which would
-have been her portion had the truth been known. Still the disease
-spread, owing to her selfishness and the doctor’s supineness, and the
-truth came out, but not before she had done endless mischief and caused
-the death of a child of one of her relations, who was sent into the
-house with his nurse to inquire after the ‘rose rash,’ and who would
-never have been allowed to pass even the same side of the street had his
-mother known the truth; and both the doctor and the patient’s mother
-were in consequence ostracised and isolated from their fellow-creatures
-far more completely and for a much longer period than they would have
-been had they boldly and at once told the truth.
-
-Nowadays, with the slight exception of the law that we must not wilfully
-expose anyone suffering from an infectious disease in a public
-conveyance, we may do pretty much as we like.[A] We can send other
-members of the family to church or the theatre; we can send our washing
-to the public laundry, we may let our friends come and see us without
-mentioning what is the matter, and, in fact, there is no law except the
-moral law (which governs so few of us) to prevent us handing on the
-complaint to as many people as we can comfortably manage to infect. The
-registration would prevent this, as it would prevent us from stopping in
-a fever-bed or (as happened to me not a month ago) from sending a cat to
-be doctored in a house where there was a fatal case of scarlet fever;
-and how that cat didn’t bring it back to us is more than I can
-understand, but it did not. Albeit, any mother can understand what I
-felt until I knew all chance of infection was over from that source at
-all events.
-
- [A] Since the above was written a law has been passed to make the
- notification of disease compulsory in London; so there is one step
- already made in advance.
-
-It is the selfishness of other people that spreads so much disease, and
-therefore the law should force people to be more considerate; then
-disease will be stamped out undoubtedly, and we can exist without the
-many qualms and dreads which harass us now, and certainly go far to make
-life anything but worth living.
-
-Now, I think if I had an infectious complaint in the house my first idea
-would be to keep people out of it. I should place a placard on the door,
-and then leave folks to do as they chose in the matter. I should keep
-the rest of the household to the grounds and garden, and I should---
-much as I should hate it--stay as much at home as I possibly could. Of
-course the usual means of disinfection would be largely used; still no
-one should run the risk of giving the complaint to any other soul.
-
-The doctor would be the person to say what is infectious and what is
-not, but, despite the ‘Lancet,’ I am quite certain measles and mumps
-cannot be carried and cannot be given to another, unless by the person
-who actually has the complaint on him. About scarlet fever, small-pox,
-and diphtheria there can be no doubt, but typhoid cannot be carried from
-one to the other, although typhus most undoubtedly may be. But in any
-case the doctor is the person to apply to, and if we have his consent we
-can go about the world as usual; only we should always tell our friends
-what is the matter, and if they object to us we must not be offended
-with them. They are quite right to object, and we should not resent
-their care for their own. We should not feel happy if we handed on the
-complaint, and what should we experience if it had a fatal termination?
-I, for one, cannot imagine.
-
-There is absolutely no place on earth which requires so much good
-breeding to inhabit or arrange for properly as does the sick room;
-therefore I trust I may be forgiven if I write rather fully on the
-matter, more especially as this book is coming now to an end, and I
-shall never write any more on the ever-fascinating subject of the home,
-and I want to say a word to the patient.
-
-Remember, however bad it is for you to be ill, it is fifty times worse
-for those who have to see you suffer, and that you must even at your
-worst think about that and remember other people. Do not make their
-anxiety greater by refusing food or medicine, or by disobeying your
-doctor or nurse; for the time give yourself entirely into their hands,
-and do not refuse or kick against their remedies, their rules and
-regulations. Be absolutely calm, absolutely quiet, and, above all, if
-you want to get well do not lose your hold on life if you can, and don’t
-fret or become terrified. Fear and fretting are a doctor’s worst
-foes--almost worse than disobedience. If you can recollect that whatever
-is is best, and that you will recover if it is better that you should,
-you will have a thousand chances that the irritable invalid can never
-have, and, at all events, if you do die you will die courageously and
-resignedly, and not screaming and kicking like a naughty child does
-whose nurse fetches it away to bed before it thinks it is ready to
-retire to rest. Its nurse knows best; and so does God, and if you are
-fetched ten chances to one your work is done, and you can retire from
-the scene gracefully even if you cannot feel you are quite glad to go.
-
-I am certain that the mind has a great deal to do with one’s body from a
-small experience of my own when once I was saved from being very ill by
-a mere exercise of will, rendered necessary by a sudden shock received
-when one of my children was only two days old. My dear old nurse was in
-my room at 12, and at 7 she was dead in the room next to mine, and I
-knew all about it. There were the two eldest children--who were five and
-three--running about calling for ‘Nan,’ from whom they had never been
-separated five minutes since the hour they were born. I had a new
-housemaid. I had seen in the looking-glass the monthly nurse drinking
-brandy out of the bottle, and told Nan of this, and I was absolutely
-alone as far as friends were concerned. Could any situation be worse?
-And yet before I slept I had arranged for the children to go to London,
-for the funeral to take place soon, and for the friends to be told. And
-then began the struggle. My doctor was confined to the house with
-bronchitis; circumstances made his partner impossible; the nearest
-medical man on whom one could depend was fourteen miles away, and I knew
-I must not be ill; and all that wretched night I kept saying this to
-myself, repeating who I was, where I was, and what had happened, until I
-felt I was master of the situation. Surely had I given in then I should
-have had a fever; as it was, I occasionally felt my head was loose and
-swimming round the room by itself, and it was only by repeating to
-myself that this was impossible that I kept off the delusion, and after
-a day or two I was nearly well, or at all events was not ill in the
-accepted sense of the word, though my dear old doctor nearly wept when I
-told him what I had endured, and never could understand to his dying day
-why I had not had a serious illness, which I undoubtedly must have had
-had I not staved it off in the manner I have just described. Therefore,
-I am convinced those patients have the best chance of recovering who are
-quiet, obedient, and who, furthermore, try their best to live, and
-believe that there is something worth living for.
-
-And now a few words on that saddest of all subjects, a death, and I must
-devote my last chapter to more cheerful subjects--namely, how best to
-get strong and well again once we have emerged from the sick room, and
-are pronounced fit and able to go for a change.
-
-When death has actually occurred I would strongly advocate that those
-who have loved and nursed the dead may prepare the body for the last
-resting-place. It can be gently washed and attired in the clean
-night-dress, and the hands can be crossed on the breast. Someone who can
-be trusted--not a mere hireling--should be present when the last
-measurements are taken; then the room should be at once turned into a
-mortuary chamber, the bed hung with white, candles lighted head and
-foot, which should not go out until the funeral day, and fresh flowers
-should be kept there; these should be changed every single day; and,
-furthermore, the windows should be left a little open, and on no account
-should the dead person be left unwatched for a moment until the coffin
-is screwed down; this should never be done until there is no doubt that
-death has ensued, and then the sooner the funeral is the better; though
-I trust some day cremation may be universal, then there can be no dread
-of the awful fate of one who is buried alive. That ought to be made
-impossible in all cases by the doctor performing some simple surgical
-operation--I think it is the dividing of some artery in the arm.
-
-If the dead person has been attached to any particular church in his or
-her life-time the coffin should be placed in that church the night
-before the funeral, so that the last night above ground the body may
-rest in that hallowed spot. Of course it should be watched there, and
-the candles and flowers should be arranged as in the mortuary chamber,
-and the first part of the service should be read there; not by a
-stranger, but by the family priest of whom I have spoken before; and
-then when the ceremony is over no one but the clergyman should return to
-the house with the mourners, who should separate and go to their own
-rooms. There should be no general family meal that day at least;
-certainly there should be no gathering even of relations and friends
-round the dinner-table. I have experienced more than one of these awful
-meals, and I can truthfully say that there is nothing more terrible on
-earth; people must talk, they cannot remain silent, they must eat and
-drink, and the _pseudo_-festivity and the endeavour to keep off and
-avoid _the_ subject are so truly ghastly, that under no circumstances
-can I understand such a thing can be in any way necessary in the least.
-Surely as unnecessary is also the reading of the will. What concerns the
-public can be told the public, the lawyers should manage the rest. Under
-no circumstances should the display of evil passions and disappointments
-be allowed that almost inevitably follows this institution.
-
-Let the burial-day be a day of meditation and quiet. In the evening the
-bereaved family can gather alone and talk over what has to be done. Then
-the next day let all the clothes be sent to the Kilburn Orphanage; and
-the personal property distributed according to the wish of the dead.
-Let the death room be entirely repapered and painted, and, if possible,
-refurnished; and, above all, do not be afraid to speak of those who have
-gone. I know how I should resent being forgotten; and perhaps those with
-whom we have just parted may hunger to hear all about us still; at all
-events, we cannot know they do not. _De mortuis_ may mean a great deal
-more than we think; it is doubly evil, surely, to speak aught but good
-of the dead if we remember not only the defencelessness which caused
-that proverb, but the idea that all we may say about them we say in
-their dumb presence, and before those who are silent, and cannot speak
-in their own defence.
-
-Death is a dreadful thing because of its silence, its separation. Yet if
-we meet it patiently--if we believe our dead are still within reach--we
-can bear it, more especially if we do our best to carry out their
-wishes, and do not, the moment they are gone, begin to reverse all their
-ideas and plans, and to forget them as speedily as may be; while, when
-our own time comes, we can face it bravely, feeling we are setting a
-good example, and leaving behind us nothing to pain or embarrass anyone,
-nothing but a bright remembrance, a good record, that may sooner or
-later be of use to others after us.
-
-The sick room has more than once been the heart of the house; the death
-chamber in its turn can become, if properly thought of, the very gate of
-heaven itself.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-WHERE SHALL WE GO FOR A CHANGE?
-
-
-I think there is nothing that tries an ordinary householder more than
-answering the question with which I have headed this, my last chapter.
-
-In the first place, as a rule, few men consider that a change can
-possibly be required. It seems only the other day that they returned
-from the last uncomfortable sojourn at some unhappy seaside town, and
-they are quite convinced that a second martyrdom cannot be necessary
-just at present. In the second, when change is really wanted, no one
-knows where to go; and in the third, if the place be selected, and the
-rooms taken, the unfortunate creature is sure to meet someone who knows
-all about it, and proceeds to make his friend profoundly miserable by
-telling him that that especial town is only decent at the very time of
-year when he cannot possibly go there; that he knows for certain an
-epidemic is raging there; and that the rooms taken for ‘six weeks
-certain’ are in the very worst part both for health and comfort, and
-that he can but wish him well home again. And the unfortunate traveller
-starts depressed and nervous; and having made up his mind to be
-miserable, is so, and derives no benefit whatever from that which was to
-do him and his soul an immense amount of good.
-
-Now I cannot help thinking that English people, as a rule, do not show
-the smallest common sense in the manner they manage their holidays, more
-especially, of course, among the middle classes; the upper portion of
-which often enough have a tiny cottage somewhere, of which they speak
-grandly as ‘my country house,’ and the address of which is inscribed on
-their cards, and mentioned in the ‘blue book.’ And they fly to this the
-moment the weather becomes in the least warm, remaining there until they
-are driven back by the falling leaves and chilling fogs of an October in
-the country; and then wonder they are so little benefited. Why, they
-have not had any change; no more, at least, than those a shade lower in
-the social scale, who go to the same watering-place year after year,
-spend their mornings on the beach, their afternoons in slumber, or a
-‘country walk,’ and their evenings on the pier or parade, and who see
-the same people, say the same things, and do the same actions
-mechanically as they do in town, only perhaps in a smaller space, and
-under far more uncomfortable circumstances.
-
-The very stupidest thing on earth, to my mind, is the annual sojourn of
-a large family of small children, accompanied by their parents, to the
-orthodox seaside rooms or lodgings. In the first place, the parents,
-children, and nurses are very much too much together; the annoyances of
-the predatory habits of the landladies spoil Materfamilias’ temper; the
-servants are disorganised, and imagine that because the family makes
-holiday they are to be in some measure allowed to do just as they like,
-and much resent being unable to make excursions and ramble at large,
-whether it is convenient or not for their mistress to spare them. And,
-indeed, I do not know a more hard-worked, driven creature than the
-ordinary Materfamilias at the seaside, more especially if she has left
-her own large airy house, with its nurseries and schoolrooms, and taken
-lodgings at a fashionable spot, where every inch of space costs pounds,
-and where she can never rid herself of her family for one moment.
-
-It is in her defence that I suggest that change of air should be
-obtained in a far easier and more satisfactory manner than it can be
-under the circumstances of which I have been speaking. As long as the
-children are quite small, I most strongly advise any mother to send them
-to the seaside in the end of May, and let them remain there until the
-first or second week in July. She should send them to some
-plainly-furnished cottage under the care of a lady who would be thankful
-to superintend them for the mere fare, change, keep, &c., that would be
-such a boon to her; and she should send their nurses with them. In this
-early portion of the year lodgings are cheap and clean, and so are
-provisions; the days are longer, the heat not so great as later on; and
-the children would come back when London was thinning and the parks and
-streets safe for them to be in; and at the end of July, having settled
-the children in, the father and mother could go for the complete change
-and rest they both need so greatly, and which it is impossible for them
-to have, encumbered by their household duties and cares, which must be
-taken with them if they move their servants and children _en masse_ to
-some seaside place for August and September.
-
-Very young children, if proper nurses and superintendents are found for
-them, do not require the companionship we shall not be able to give them
-later on if we wear ourselves out in their service when they are very
-small. By this I do not naturally mean that children should be neglected
-or left entirely to the mercy of hirelings. Far be it from me to suggest
-anything so dreadful; but I do maintain that for six weeks of the year
-they would be quite as well at the seaside without their parents as
-they would be with them, more especially if the cottage they are sent to
-is well known and the people who keep it are acquaintances, while of
-course both the lady superintendent and the nurses should not be new,
-but should be thoroughly tested by some amount of service before they
-are trusted.
-
-It is better, should we determine to send the children away as I have
-suggested, to pay so much per head for all the board and lodging
-expenses combined. No servant, and indeed very few governesses, can be
-trusted to ‘housekeep.’ I cannot tell why, but the moment they are
-allowed to order the food and make purchases for the household, they all
-become most wildly extravagant, and have no more notion of managing than
-they have of flying. They may, of course, have the truly British notion
-that holiday-making and over-eating must go hand-in-hand, and proceed to
-demonstrate this by the exorbitant demands made upon one’s purse.
-Anyhow, whatever the reason, it is an axiom that housekeeping cannot be
-trusted to either, and that we should make arrangements for board as
-well as lodging unless we wish to be fairly appalled by the weekly
-bills. As an illustration, I may mention that the only time I sent my
-children to the sea with the governess, allowing her to cater for them
-all, the bills she sent me home for herself, the German maid and three
-children, were exactly treble what I paid for ourselves and the same
-number of children and six servants, and that she did not consider it
-improper to give 6_s._ for a chicken and 8_s._ for a pound of grapes.
-From this my readers will perceive that I am warning them out of my own
-experience. And this governess, moreover, was an elderly woman who had
-lived with us a great many years, and really had in some measure our
-interest at heart. Therefore I am convinced neither governess nor
-servants can make good managers; they are always provided for as far as
-food is concerned; they never have to provide, and therefore know
-nothing about it.
-
-I think, once we have discovered a spot that really suits the children,
-it is best to keep to that, as children simply require good sands and
-good air, and do not trouble themselves about scenery. Deal is
-absolutely delightful as regards air, but the beach is unsafe and
-pebbly, and has no sand; Margate is quite perfect; so is Westgate;
-while Swanage in spring leaves nothing to be desired except for
-children who require bracing air; then Swanage is not for one moment to
-be compared to either of the places I have named, which are also near
-enough to town for the parents to run down and see the children should
-they wish to do so, and, indeed, as they ought to do, to learn how they
-are getting on.
-
-Personally I know nothing of the east coast, but I believe there are
-plenty of little places about there where the children would be happy,
-well, and safe; and I should recommend anyone before finally choosing
-the summer home of the children to make an exhaustive survey of the
-English coast, and, having found one place which will suit, then to
-stick to that until the children are twelve years old. Then one would
-have to begin to alter one’s plans a little, more especially if the boys
-go to school and are only at home in the holidays; then the children and
-parents must go out together, else they will never meet, and will grow
-up like strangers to each other.
-
-During the minority, so to speak, of the children, the parents would be
-wise to spend their holidays in learning which would be the nicest
-places to take the children to when they are beginning to grow up; they
-should make and keep notes of excursions, advantages, prices, and
-houses, and should be able to refer to them in a moment, when they have
-to decide on the place where they are to spend their holiday in; they
-must not trust to their memory, the best of memories will not retain the
-names of the house agents, the position of the different streets, and
-the aspect of the different houses, while the notes would be always
-there to refer to, and would be of immense service to them in more ways
-than one.
-
-Now, having made up their minds to the change, it is absolutely
-necessary that a house, not rooms, should be taken, if anyone is to
-enjoy the holiday at all.
-
-There can be no freedom and very little enjoyment, and there is great
-risk of infection at the seaside unless the house is shared by someone
-we may happen to know, if we take only a part of a house. We may have a
-fidgety mortal who sends up twenty times a day to ask our children to be
-quiet, or we may have a screaming, badly managed baby near us, a piano
-which plays just when we don’t want it to play, or we may meet on the
-stairs a convalescent from some childish complaint, who may hand it on
-to our children, and bring our holiday to an abrupt conclusion with
-measles or whooping-cough. Then there are always the landlady, the
-larder difficulties, and the horrors of being waited on by strange
-servants, generally most inferior ones, and always those who cannot and
-do not understand our ways. Therefore I maintain that a house is a _sine
-quâ non_, and that if we cannot afford to take one and go away
-comfortably we had better remain at home; if we leave we may get fresher
-air, we shall have the necessary change, but the change will be for the
-worse, and the good the fresher air may do will be more than outbalanced
-by the continual rasping worry of arranging, and very likely battling
-with the servants, who resent the landlady’s interference, and won’t do
-any more work than they can help, under the mistaken idea that the
-house-servants are to wait on them, and in the endless worries caused by
-the disappearance of one’s food, and the disagreeable feeling that
-everything one touches has probably been well ‘pawed over’ by the
-lodging-house maid, if not by the mistress herself.
-
-If, therefore, as I remarked before, we cannot afford to go away
-comfortably we had better remain at home, going away in detachments if
-the doctor thinks that the weaker members must have sea air; in that
-case visits can always be managed, for everyone almost has relations or
-friends in the country, or knows of some nice family who will take in a
-stray child or two and ‘do for them’ with their own; while if the boys
-are away at school, they are quite satisfied to return to their own
-haunts, while no end of excursions can be made from London and in and
-round London, which is, it must be confessed, just a little hot in
-August, and smells just a little of over-ripe fruit and dead cabbage
-leaves, but is positively delightful in September with its soft skies
-and its wonderful effects of cloud and sunshine, and which has always
-something amusing to show those who really appreciate the most
-delightful and picturesque city in the whole world. I love my London,
-even in August, when the parks are empty of fashionable people, but full
-of the most beautiful flowers and palms, which only those who remain in
-town in that unfashionable month ever see at their prime; and despite
-the heat and the odours in the streets, I would rather be in London
-than in a cramped lodging at the sea, where I was inundated with
-children, worried by bad service, and had none of my own belongings
-about me; and, in fact, had not time to read or sit alone to enjoy
-myself in the peace and quiet that are absolutely necessary to make a
-holiday even endurable.
-
-I hope my readers will not think I am writing of what I do not know when
-I say that London in August and September is quite as beautiful and
-entrancing as it is in the heart of the season. I have been for the last
-seven years constantly in the beloved city in those unfashionable
-months, and I unreservedly advise anyone in want of a real change to go
-up to town then. They will learn and see more then than at any other
-time; they will not be hurried; they will be able to see everything
-quietly, and will really see what they never can when the roads are
-crammed with carriages and the streets with people--_i.e._ how beautiful
-London is, and how many things she possesses we never dream of when we
-are simply rushing from occupation to amusement, and are only thinking
-of our work or pleasure. However, as I cannot expect all to believe me,
-or to share my enthusiasm for the streets and chimney-pots that I adore,
-I will simply now advise my readers how to proceed once they have made
-up their minds to go away. If possible they should let their own house;
-if not, they should endeavour always to keep to the same caretaker who
-should, if possible, be married to a policeman and have a dog, but no
-children; the furniture should be covered over, and ‘put to bed’ by the
-upholsterer, who understands how to prepare for possible moth and damp,
-and who will not make an exorbitant charge for what will, as a rule,
-prevent most of the things from being spoiled. Fires should be ordered,
-no matter what the weather may be, in rotation all through the house,
-for one that is uninhabited, and in which very little gas, if any, will
-be burned, always becomes damp in our climate; while it would be wise to
-have the gas cut off at the meter entirely. We should save a great deal
-of waste; and as caretakers are used to lamps in their own abodes, we
-should run no risk of fire, not as much as we do when we leave the gas
-for the use of those who often enough have never had any control over
-it on their own account, and so have not learned how to save it or even
-use it.
-
-No valuables should be left in the house; all should be sent to the
-bank; and we should naturally take our plate with us for use. But,
-having taken our house by the sea, we should in some measure know what
-it wants, and we should invariably have ornaments, photographs, &c., to
-take with us to brighten up the house and to make it home-like; while
-the children must take their story-books, work, and playthings. We must,
-in fact, prepare in every way we can for a rainy day; rain must fall,
-and if the children have their books and toys, and their own rooms, they
-will be as happy, and be no more of a nuisance by the sea than they are
-at home; at least, if they are, it will be the fault of the parents and
-not of the unfortunate children themselves.
-
-I have always had three very large wicker baskets set apart for using at
-similar crises of our existence. One holds the household linen, another
-the nursery and schoolroom toys and books, and the third is set apart
-for loose cretonne covers, serge table-cloths, and any amount of
-photographs and ornaments to render the temporary house home-like; for
-even if I find my new domicile replete with ornaments, I always put them
-all away at once. Ornaments are always priceless when the reckoning
-comes to be taken; they can’t possibly be harmed if they retired into a
-cupboard the moment we arrived, and only emerged from their seclusion
-the day we leave.
-
-If the china and glass in a house are really expensive and good, I also
-put them all away, and I purchase for our own use the very cheapest ware
-I can find. China and glass are so very cheap nowadays, that it is far
-better to do this than be made to pay fabulous sums for the owner’s
-china, which seems to one so hideous, and is only costly because in
-these artistic days of ours it is impossible to match it.
-
-The contents of my basket soon make even a hideous room much better;
-while one feels that one need not always be on the look-out, as one must
-be to protect another person’s property if one does not take these
-precautions; but, as a rule, furnished houses are so absolutely
-unfurnished and ugly, I am thankful to cover up what I find, and so in
-some measure mitigate the horrors of my surroundings, by putting about
-as many of my own belongings as I can take with me. We also, when we go
-away, always put at the top of each separate person’s box that
-individual’s own sheets, pillow-cases, and eider-down quilt; and I never
-go away without some spare pillows, and any amount of cushions. This
-sounds luxurious; but why should we be uncomfortable because we are not
-at home? On the contrary, because we are not we ought to take more care
-than ever that all shall be as nice as we can make it; while, the sheets
-and pillow-cases being ready, the servants have no trouble in settling
-in the first evening. They open the boxes and make the beds at once,
-with sheets we know are aired; and therefore, even in the confusion that
-is generally apparent at these times, we have no risk of spending our
-first night between damp sheets.
-
-Another thing we should provide ourselves with is a hamper of groceries,
-and, if we are to arrive late, with sufficient cooked food to supply the
-establishment for the night and next morning. Each servant should be
-told off to certain duties, and no hurry or confusion should be allowed.
-All, except one box in which to put the last things, should be locked
-and strapped the night before, and the luggage should be at the station
-in good time; the tickets should all be procured; or at least ordered,
-the day before; and if these simple precautions are taken the journey
-need be hardly any trouble at all. It must be some, but nothing to speak
-of, when the servants know their work, are ready in advance, and are not
-allowed to forget anything, not even the harmless necessary cat.
-
-Now a few words about the animals: and let me beg anyone who has cats
-and dogs to take these poor things with them. We always do; the dogs go
-with the horses, the cats with the servants, and they never attempt to
-stray. They are absolutely and abjectly miserable if we leave them at
-home, even with a caretaker; while they cost nothing to take, and are
-happy with us, just as, in fact, they are at home. I have nothing to say
-about or to those people who are wicked enough to ‘stray’ their cats, or
-leave them shut out in the garden, to forage for themselves. They must
-be such cruel wretches, that I hope they may not even read this book;
-but many people, possessed of the kindest hearts have no compunction in
-leaving their cats to caretakers, little understanding how these poor
-things pine for the human companionship to which they are accustomed,
-and after which they long pitifully. Now a cat costs nothing, a dog very
-little, to take; so I do hope all who can will consider if their holiday
-cannot be shared by their dumb friends. I am sure they will never regret
-it if they make up their minds to take them with them.
-
-When once settled in the temporary house, all should be found out that
-there is to be found out about the points of interest in the
-neighbourhood, and all these should be visited; as a rule, a local
-guide-book is very little real use; but one should always be obtained
-and studied in connection with the county history. One’s holiday is a
-thousand times more profitable and pleasant if we see all there is to be
-seen, and do not waste our time listening to an inferior band, or
-hanging about on the pier, wearing smart clothes, which are entirely out
-of place by the sea.
-
-Indeed, blue serge should be the only wear, as far as young people are
-concerned, with flannels for boys. I remember how wretched we used to be
-over our light print and muslin frocks; in consequence of which I have
-always taken care our children should never have anything that they had
-to think about on the shore. Half our pleasure used to be spoiled by the
-idea that we should have to pay for it by being scolded by our governess
-for the sandy, wet garments, inseparable from any real play by the
-fascinating sea. Now, with the high india-rubber boots we buy at
-Scarborough, and serge skirts, and under-drawers of serge, no girl can
-possibly harm, paddle how she may; while the same high boots and serge
-or flannel suits make the boys quite happy. The boots protect the feet
-from possible cuts, and do away with any hygienic difficulties; many
-people refusing to allow their children to paddle because feet should
-not be wet if the heads cannot be wet too; the feet do not get wet in
-these high boots, and therefore, provided with them, the last objection
-to paddling is quite done away with; and without paddling, what is the
-seashore? Very little to the children, who cannot have too much of this
-most delightful amusement. The sea is the best holiday companion one can
-have. I therefore most strongly advise all who are bent on a holiday
-for the children to take them to the sea and not to the inland country;
-where, if it be wet, mud keeps them prisoners, whereas by the sea rain
-dries up at once, and there is always something to look at; for, of
-course, the ideal holiday house faces the sea, and has a good view of
-whatever is going on.
-
-And now, having said all I can about the children’s holiday, let me add
-just a few words about sharing the holiday, if in any way possible, with
-some child or someone who cannot afford to go away at all, unless a
-friendly invitation manages this for them.
-
-I have written very little about charities in this book, but I could
-have set down much on the subject, and I may say that the truest of all
-charities is that which quietly and unostentatiously helps that most
-unfortunate, most deserving of all classes--the poor lady or gentleman,
-who is too well-born to be assisted with money, but who requires help a
-thousand times more than the very, very poor to whom one can give a few
-shillings. No one ever thinks of the over-worked, underpaid curate or
-the orphan child. We could, when we take our house for the holidays,
-surely reserve a corner for them. They are pleasant visitors, and we
-shall have the delightful feeling that while our children have been
-gaining strength we have helped others to do the same. Most people
-contrive to have visitors while they are away; let them be those who
-would not have gone away at all had we not asked them to come to us
-while we are at the sea. They can generally manage the railway fare,
-while of course we can judiciously contrive that they are not forced
-into any expense for excursions if we take them; we can easily manage
-this if we have the smallest tact, while of course we must not affront
-them by boldly offering to pay their fare, but if we are accustomed to
-go first-class, and yet know third-class would suit our friend’s pocket
-better, we can all go third boldly; it will not hurt us one bit, and it
-will save them from the unpleasantness of spending more than they can
-afford, or of being paid for by us, which would be terrible for them.
-
-There is still another holiday of which I wish to speak, and then I
-shall lay down my pen and close my book, and that is the yearly
-honeymoon-holiday all husbands and wives should try and manage to take
-together.
-
-Nothing so keeps up the bond of affection between them as this,
-particularly when both are busy people and see nothing at all of each
-other during the day, and are often too tired in the evening to speak at
-all except on the most necessary subjects; and even if they are not
-tired there are always the boys and girls about, once they have begun to
-grow up, and there is no time they can call their own--none in which
-they can talk as they used to do--none in which they can discuss the
-children’s future or talk about their own plans and hopes and wishes. Of
-course I am told many husbands and wives are only too thankful to be
-spared the chance of a _tête-à-tête_ that must be nothing save a bore. I
-maintain that this is not in the least degree true; that those who have
-been married many years have far more in common, far more to say to each
-other, than the young folks just starting on life’s journey can possibly
-have to say, and that the yearly holiday taken together does more to
-make the domestic car move along gracefully and lightly than anything
-else I know. The wife is relieved from the unceasing ordering of the
-dinner and planning of everything, while the husband once more finds
-himself responsible for all the little details, and delights once again
-to have his wife to himself and to look after and wait upon as in the
-days of old; while the children are safe at their lessons or looking
-after the house in their absence; and once more there is a real holiday
-feeling in the air, and they can fancy themselves young and starting on
-life’s journey hand-in-hand over again. There is nothing so amusing to
-me as the discovery that grown-up daughters and sons have no idea that
-their father and mother can really want to be alone together, or that
-they can possibly prefer each other’s society to that of their friends
-or their own children. But, my dear young people, it is the case; and
-though of course your parents are always delighted to have you with
-them, they do occasionally wish to be alone together. The yearly holiday
-allows for that, as does an occasional holiday together during the year;
-and these holidays should never be forgotten or omitted. They should be
-kept up vigorously, and no blandishments from our children should be
-allowed to break in upon the _solitude à deux_--the honeymoon-holiday
-should be taken together or not at all.
-
-And now, reluctantly and regretfully, I must say farewell to those with
-whom I have conversed so long in these pages. I feel this book has not
-the light-hearted gaiety with which Angelina and Edwin plan out their
-newly-married life, and with which they start out to furnish their
-little home, in ‘From Kitchen to Garret;’ but if I am more serious here
-it is because life grows more serious as one grows older, as one
-realises how much there is to do and how difficult it is to steer the
-bark freighted with one’s growing-up children, and with more money to be
-spent judiciously, a larger house to be managed, so that we may do as
-much good as we possibly can, so that it may give as much happiness to
-as many as can be managed, and in some measure so exist as to leave the
-world immediately within its influence just a little bit better than we
-found it.
-
-We must realise, wherever we are, that we influence someone, perhaps
-very many people, either for good or for evil. It is no use to bury our
-heads in the sand, and pretend that no one need be influenced by us
-unless they like, and that it is not our fault if they are. It is our
-fault, and we cannot get rid of our responsibility in this way; while if
-we boldly accept our fate, and do our duty manfully, we shall have our
-reward, more especially if we endeavour not to know the ‘best’ people
-because we crave for social exaltation, and to mix with those who resent
-our intrusion and laugh at our pretensions, but to associate with those
-whose noble minds and good thoughts and bright intellects will help our
-own, and assist us on our mental progress through the world; and to have
-as friends, not those who can give us dinner for dinner, ball for ball,
-but those to whom we can give pleasure they would never have did we
-refuse to open our doors to them, and to those whose large hearts and
-brilliant minds influence ours for good, and lead us insensibly along a
-path of peace and safety.
-
-The truest socialism should begin in the perfect home; the socialism
-which shares or administers but does not disperse or destroy; the
-socialism which opens the park gates to the poor, or the
-picture-galleries to those who could never see anything were it not for
-the action of the owner, that never receives a benefit without in some
-measure sharing it with a poorer brother, and that finally has a noble
-end in life; nay, the noblest of all, that of leaving the world a little
-better for one’s having lived and loved and worked and suffered in it.
-
-By these rules should the home be formed; in these paths should the
-children be led, who should never be allowed for one moment to despise
-those they may consider below them in the social scale; who should
-always be taught to share their flowers, their shells, their holidays
-and pleasures with others; and who should one and all be brought up to
-do something in life, something to assist the toiling millions around
-us, something to do good to someone besides themselves. Of course this
-is hard and anxious work; work, could we have realised it was before us
-when we so lightly accepted our fate, and laid together the foundations
-of a new home, we might never have found courage to take up; but it is
-the work set before every married man and woman in the world. They can
-either accept it or reject it; but if they do leave it alone, the undone
-work will bring its own punishment in the unhappy wicked children, and
-the wrecked and miserable home that will take the place of that which
-might have been the home which is the rule, not the exception, in
-England, and that we can all have if we have powers of endless work in
-us, and realise from others’ experience what is before us all. Then,
-when the curtain falls, when the hands part which have held each other
-so fondly, so faithfully, all through the journey, the worst parts of
-which have been gilded by the unfailing love which is God’s best gift,
-the one who goes can go boldly into the darkness, content to leave all
-to that Higher Power who has helped them so gallantly all through the
-struggle, while the one who stays knows that the link still binds them
-together, and will draw them some day back to each other again. When
-love can do this, when love can build, maintain, and keep our homes
-together, as love does, and as only love can, who shall dare to sneer
-and laugh at it, and looking at such homes dare ask sarcastically if
-marriage be a failure?
-
-Marriage never is, never can be, a failure, if the home is a true home,
-not an abode of vanity, an entertaining house, for gaiety and waste; and
-it is to help others just a little more from my own experience of the
-happiest of all homes--my own--that I have written this other book
-about the household and all that appertains to it, which I now leave to
-my good friends and readers, content to feel that they will read me
-kindly, knowing of old how kind they can be to one who has said as much
-to them on this all-fascinating subject as I have.
-
- PRINTED BY
- SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE
- LONDON.
-
-
-
-
-ADDRESSES
-
- Messrs. SMEE & COBAY, Finsbury Pavement, E.C.
-
- Messrs. WALLACE & CO., 151 Curtain Road, E.C.
-
- Messrs. E. E. PITHER & CO., 38 Mortimer Street, E.C.
-
- Messrs. KAY & SONS, Burnley Mills, Burnley, Lancashire.
-
- Messrs. JACKSON & SONS, 199 High Street, Borough, S.E.
-
- Messrs. HAINES & CO., 83 Queen Victoria Street, E.C.
-
- Messrs. LAND & CO., 92 Cannon Street, E.C.
-
- Messrs. ESSEX & CO., Albert Mansions, Victoria Street, S.W.
-
- Messrs. OETZMANN & CO., Hampstead Road, N.W.
-
- MAISON HELBRONNER, 300 Oxford Street, W.
-
- Messrs. GRAHAM & BIDDLE, Graham House, Oxford Street, W.
-
- Messrs. COLBOURNE & CO., 82 Regent Street, W.
-
- Messrs. B. BURNET & CO., King Street, Covent Garden, W.C.
-
- Messrs. BURR & ELLIOTT, Oxford Street, W.
-
- G. FAULKNER ARMITAGE, Esq., Stamford House, Altrincham, Cheshire.
-
- THE EDINBURGH LIFE ASSURANCE COMPANY, 11 King William Street, E.C.
-
- Messrs. GILES & CO., 19 Old Cavendish Street, W.
-
- Messrs. HOSKYNS & CO., Ben Trovato Red Works, Darlington, Durham.
-
- Mrs. M’CLELLAND, 33 Warwick Road, Maida Hill, W.
-
- Mr. THOMAS, Decorator, Bowdon, Cheshire.
-
-
-Typographical errors corrected by the etext transcriber:
-
-hundreds of unformed units=> hundreds of uniformed units {pg 114}
-
-and, as they as generally shrink in the was=> and, as they generally
-shrink in the was {pg 147}
-
-allowing great familarity=> allowing great familiarity {pg 167}
-
-they are fourteen and and not a day before=> they are fourteen and not a
-day before {pg 179}
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's Nooks and Corners, by J. (Jane) E. (Ellen) Panton
-
-*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOOKS AND CORNERS ***
-
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-
-Project Gutenberg's Nooks and Corners, by J. (Jane) E. (Ellen) Panton
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: Nooks and Corners
- being the companion volume to From Kitchen to Garret
-
-Author: J. (Jane) E. (Ellen) Panton
-
-Release Date: June 12, 2016 [EBook #52314]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NOOKS AND CORNERS ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/cover_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="307" height="500" alt="cover" title="[Image
-of the book's cover unavailable.]" /></a>
-</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""
-style="border: 2px black solid;margin:auto auto 2em auto;max-width:50%;
-padding:1%;">
-<tr><td>
-
-<p class="c"><a href="#CONTENTS"><span class="smcap">Contents</span>.</a></p>
-<p class="c">Some typographical errors have been corrected;
-<a href="#transcrib">a list follows the text</a>.</p>
-
-<p class="c"><a href="#ILLUSTRATIONS"><span class="smcap">List of Illustrations</span></a><br /> <span class="nonvis">(In certain versions of this etext [in certain browsers]
-clicking directly on the image,
-will bring up a larger version.)</span></p>
-
-<p class="c">(etext transcriber's note)</p></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="cb">NOOKS AND CORNERS<br />&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p class="c"><small>PRINTED BY<br />
-SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE<br />
-LONDON</small></p>
-
-<p><a name="front" id="front"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/front_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/front_sml.jpg" width="299" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: A French Window" /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">A French Window</span>
-</div>
-
-<h1>NOOKS AND CORNERS</h1>
-
-<p class="c"><small>BEING THE COMPANION VOLUME TO</small><br />
-<br />
-‘FROM KITCHEN TO GARRET’<br />
-<br /><br />
-BY<br />
-<br />
-J. &nbsp; E. &nbsp; P A N T O N<br />
-<small>AUTHOR OF<br />
-‘BY-PATHS AND CROSS-ROADS’ ‘THE CURATE’S WIFE’ ‘A TANGLED CHAIN’<br />
-‘COUNTRY SKETCHES IN BLACK AND WHITE’<br />
-ETC.</small><br />
-<br />
-<i>ILLUSTRATED</i><br />
-<br />
-<span class="eng">London</span><br />
-WARD &amp; DOWNEY<br />
-12 YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN<br />
-1889
-<br />
-[<i>All rights reserved</i>]<br />
-</p>
-
-<h2 class="courr"><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS"></a>CONTENTS</h2>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr><td><small>CHAPTER</small></td><td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="rt"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_I">I.</a></td><td><span class="smcap">Moving House</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_1">1</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_II">II.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Halls and Passages</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_23">23</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_III">III.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Nooks and Corners</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_48">48</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_IV">IV.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">The Billiard-room and Library</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_84">84</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_V">V.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Shall we do away with the Nursery?</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_99">99</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_VI">VI.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">The Girls’ Room</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_113">113</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_VII">VII.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Coming-out and Dress</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_133">133</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_VIII">VIII.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Christenings and Weddings</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_153">153</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_IX">IX.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">About the Boys</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_172">172</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_X">X.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Some Domestic Details</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_190">190</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_XI">XI.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">The Sick Room</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_209">209</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#CHAPTER_XII">XII.</a></td><td> <span class="smcap">Where shall we go for a Change?</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_227">227</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<h2 class="courr"><a name="ILLUSTRATIONS" id="ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>ILLUSTRATIONS</h2>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">A French Window</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#front"><i>Frontispiece</i></a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td><small>FIGS.</small></td><td>&nbsp;</td>
-<td class="rt"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_1">1.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Hall Arrangement</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_25">25</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_2">2.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Oak Buffet</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_28">28</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_3">3.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Staircase Window</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_40">40</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_4">4.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">A London Landing</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_41">41</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_5">5,</a>
-<a href="#ill_6">6.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Hall Wardrobes</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_44">44</a>, <a href="#page_45">45</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_7">7.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">A Summer Corner</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_53">53</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_8">8.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">A Winter Corner</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_60">60</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_9">9.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Arches for a Double Room</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_63">63</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_10">10.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Simple Mantel Draping</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_66">66</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_11">11.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">A Recess</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_69">69</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_12">12.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">A Draped Piano</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_72">72</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_13">13.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Conservatory Door</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_74">74</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_14">14.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Frilled Chairs and Sofa</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_81">81</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_15">15.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">An Empty Nursery</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_103">103</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_16">16.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">Boudoir-Bedroom</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_121">121</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top"><a href="#ill_17">17.</a></td><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">An Ideal Kitchen</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_205">205</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_1" id="page_1"></a>{1}</span></p>
-
-<h1>NOOKS AND CORNERS.</h1>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_I" id="CHAPTER_I"></a>CHAPTER I.<br /><br />
-<small>MOVING HOUSE.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I have</span> been asked by a great many readers of ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ to
-produce another book on the ever fascinating subject of household
-management and house decoration; and I have been furthermore requested
-to consider Edwin and Angelina from another standpoint, and to regard
-them as having increased their borders in more ways than one, and,
-having become richer and at the same time more numerous, as now
-beginning to move from their small house, furnished so joyfully and
-hopefully in the early flush of their married happiness, to one larger
-in every way, and more suited to their present income and growing
-family.</p>
-
-<p>I confess that I begin my task with just a little diffidence, and a
-little misgiving, too, and feel just a wee bit as sad over the beginning
-of this little volume as I know my young couples must feel when, no
-longer quite as young as they were, they turn their backs on that dear
-little first home, and take up their abode in the newer, far more
-convenient habitation, welcomed so joyfully by the children, who declare
-that now, and now only, they will have room in which to breathe!</p>
-
-<p>For, successful as ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ is, and many as are the
-friends I have made through its pages, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_2" id="page_2"></a>{2}</span> am rather doubtful about
-another book on the same lines; still, I can but do my best, and so,
-without any more forewords on the matter, I will at once plunge into my
-subject, and will trust that all those who have made their little houses
-pretty by either following or improving on the hints given in my first
-book will not disdain to follow me once more into those Nooks and
-Corners of house-furnishing and house-keeping, which were deemed too
-ambitious for my young couple, or were forgotten in the first essay on
-the subject.</p>
-
-<p>Besides which, as life goes on, I am thankful to say that decoration
-becomes more and more a fine art.</p>
-
-<p>Formerly people rather scorned the idea of being ‘house-proud’ in the
-same manner in which all are nowadays. Their house-pride was merely
-expressed in the amount of gilding compressed into a single room; in the
-thickness of their carpets, the heaviness of their draperies, and the
-general costliness of the plenishing, and the amount of money these
-things had cost was far more often spoken of than anything else; while
-the name of the upholsterer was mentioned, not as a guarantee that taste
-and skill had been called into action, but as a proof that money in this
-case had not been an object. Formerly, did I say? Alas! cases still
-exist of this heavy and depressing style of thing! Money is poured out
-like water on carpets that are nightmares, and on papers that are as
-absolutely meaningless as they are ugly, and the despair of anyone who
-is called in, as I am constantly, to mitigate the horrors of some
-gigantic monument of bad taste and lavish expenditure.</p>
-
-<p>And then, too, people are still, as a rule, far too timid, and act far
-too much in a hurry; they believe far too much in the upholsterer, and
-far too little in themselves; and above all they cannot get out of the
-terrible English habit, carried through every single department in life,
-of buying a thing because they admire it, and not because it suits what
-they already possess, thus marring at every step their chances of having
-a home which is always a pleasure to inhabit, and a restful refuge from
-the cares and toils of life.</p>
-
-<p>But it is to assist the timid and those who lack confidence in their own
-tastes, and furthermore who may live in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_3" id="page_3"></a>{3}</span> distant country places, where
-nothing new penetrates even in these days of parcel-posts and
-illustrated newspapers, that I am writing this book, and wrote ‘From
-Kitchen to Garret,’ and therefore I must not scold but rather encourage
-those who would add to the beauty of their surroundings, but do not
-quite know how to set about it: and I am most anxious that there may
-soon be no house anywhere in England that may not have some claim to be
-considered beautiful or interesting or pretty; for indeed there is no
-reason why the humblest among us may not have a charming home, as
-certainly, if he or she have taste, money nowadays is not a barrier
-between beauty and the public at large. Therefore when any among my
-readers makes up her mind that it is absolutely necessary that a move
-should be made, the first piece of advice I would give her is that she
-should determine on her future locality, if not on the abode itself,
-before she is driven from her first house by the lapsing of a lease or
-the necessity of deciding immediately because a tenant is forthcoming
-for house number one; for if not, she may find herself forced into an
-uncongenial neighbourhood or into a house that has every unpleasant
-quality under the sun. Above all she must be prepared for a certain
-amount of acute misery, mental, at any rate, if not physical, for there
-is something about one’s first married home that one can never really
-replace, and that renders our fitting into our new locality only a
-little less torturing than inhabiting a new skin would be, were we
-suddenly forced into one.</p>
-
-<p>Personally I am not one bit sentimental; I never cried over a faded
-flower, or lay awake weeping bitter tears over an unhappy love-affair: I
-never had one, I am thankful to say. Neither have I hoarded first shoes,
-snippings of baby curls, nor indeed anything save my wedding-dress,
-which is a most valuable ‘property’ for characters and private
-theatricals of all kinds; and therefore I am considered absolutely
-lacking in ‘fine feelings,’ and unhampered by ‘nonsense’; but I have
-never yet become reconciled to the moves we have had to make after our
-first twelve years of married life, and I much doubt now if I ever
-shall; I certainly shall not until I make move number three, and what is
-perhaps the most curious point in the whole business is that I did not
-like the house, nor the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_4" id="page_4"></a>{4}</span> town, nor indeed anything much about it, and
-yet I can never see certain looks in the sky, scent certain odours,
-without being transported to dear dull Dorsetshire, and without longing
-in a curious home-sick way for the marvellously lovely range of the
-Purbeck hills, which haunts me like a dream, and for which I am
-convinced I should positively pine, had I the smallest touch of
-sentiment in my composition.</p>
-
-<p>The house itself was most wretchedly inconvenient, the furniture of over
-twenty years ago&mdash;aye, and some of it over fifty years ago&mdash;does not
-bear thinking about in these æsthetic days. I endured dullness such as
-only a London girl, plunged suddenly into an atmosphere she could not
-comprehend, much less assimilate, could experience: we had three years
-of unspeakable worries; and yet, with it all&mdash;with its hideous rooms and
-its cold and ugly passages, its out-of-the-worldness, and its unpleasant
-associations&mdash;there is something about it that no other house can ever
-hold, and that causes me often and often to dream I am there again, or
-that makes me hear sometimes on a quiet night the old sound of the
-sudden clash of the china closet door, the opening of the door at the
-top of the kitchen stairs&mdash;which, I believe, has been taken away now by
-desecrating hands, and which had a sound all its own&mdash;or that causes me
-to wake suddenly from sleep to wonder at the late return of phantom
-waggons and ghostly horses over stones that are hundreds of miles away
-from our present uncongenial abode, and which caused sounds inseparable
-from thoughts of those dear dead days&mdash;days I would have back this
-moment if I could, if only to live them over once more in a manner a
-thousand times better than an inexperienced girl could ever do, and use
-then the experience one buys at such an enormous cost because one will
-not listen to words of wisdom from those who have lived so very much
-longer in the world than we had then, and which is useless now, because
-one sees all too late what one might have done for others.</p>
-
-<p>These experiences and reminiscences of mine may seem out of place here,
-but they really are not. I shall in this book, as in my last, speak only
-of what I have experienced; and I am so convinced that when house-moving
-is done heartbreak must ensue that I dwell upon this aspect of the case<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_5" id="page_5"></a>{5}</span>
-in order that the first house may not be left capriciously, but only
-because it is absolutely necessary to go elsewhere.</p>
-
-<p>I have always felt myself, unsentimental creature though I am, that a
-house absorbs some of one’s own personality: that the very walls we warm
-with our breathing, living selves, and among which we spend our lives,
-and allow ourselves to be ourselves without any company veneer, must in
-some measure become impregnated by our vitality. You may, for example,
-re-paper and re-furnish your room, but in a very short time that room
-looks exactly like you once more, and becomes again in a week or two&mdash;a
-month, at most&mdash;part and parcel of your own individuality. But leave
-your house, and, if you can muster sufficient courage to do so, go and
-call on the next inhabitant, and you will see in one moment what I mean.
-The very room is altered. Your successors may have kept your
-decorations, taken off your ‘fixtures,’ and gone on the very same lines
-as regards furnishing and arrangement as you did, but it will not look
-in the very least like you, and you will not believe you are in the same
-room in which you have spent so many happy and unhappy hours. At first,
-therefore, in any new house you have not only to adapt yourself and your
-furniture to it, but you have by your individuality to imprint yourself
-on the very fabric itself.</p>
-
-<p>The last owner’s individuality fades at once; I have seen few empty
-houses that do not look precisely like something dead: the body is
-there, but the spirit is absent. And there is a blank awful chill about
-such a house that penetrates one’s very soul and depresses one in an
-extraordinary way; but it takes some time to reanimate the body, and,
-indeed, in an unloved atmosphere I question if it is ever done. Some
-folk the house won’t have at any price, and there are one or two places
-I wot of that are blank still, because uncongenial people have them and
-are incapable of living up to them properly; they put just the wrong
-draperies in the windows, wrench the doors round into the wrong places,
-and finally have hung the very worst colours on the walls, and, indeed,
-have treated it in such an inconsiderate way that it never responds, and
-remains silent, angular, unsatisfied, dead, as long as those people
-remain within its shelter.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_6" id="page_6"></a>{6}</span></p>
-
-<p>Angelina, when she really must move therefore, must remember to think
-over all these details.</p>
-
-<p>I envy everyone myself who has a really inherited house&mdash;a house which
-has absorbed the family atmosphere for centuries, that has never been
-passed from hand to hand and from family to family until it has no
-recollection of who built it or what it was built for; a house for which
-it is an intense and real pleasure to plan improvements, to deck as one
-would deck a child of one’s own, knowing that what we spent on it or did
-for it would benefit and please not only ourselves but those who are to
-come after us. Yes; hopeless Radical as I am in everything else, I am
-Conservative indeed in the house I would have if I could; but in these
-days of progress, when most people grow rich, and many only use their
-dwelling-place as a shelter, and don’t think of it as a home, I am
-constantly being pained to see retired city men and lawyers&mdash;the two
-classes which become really wealthy, taking over the delightful places
-which once owned ‘county families,’ and ruining the society round with
-their ostentation and the ridiculous airs only found in suburban places
-where ‘society’ so-called consists of ‘twopence three-farthings looking
-down on twopence,’ while the poor houses themselves are ruined too by
-utterly inappropriate furnishing and by decorations suitable only for an
-ordinary ‘mansion,’ furnished by giving <i>carte blanche</i> to some
-enterprising and advertising tradesman.</p>
-
-<p>Should Angelina have made her first home in the family dwelling-place,
-she will never have to learn what moving house really means. She can
-allow her roots to sink as deeply as she likes into the kindly soil, and
-she can make it all as charming as she will, because she will know that
-all she does will only benefit her own; but as there are indeed few
-nowadays who can contemplate this (for even the absorbers of the old
-places round London never think of the generation behind them, and often
-and often cut up the land for eligible building sites, with as little
-compunction as one cuts up a cake at a school-feast: only taking care it
-shall go as far as it can), we need not dwell on this aspect of the
-case, but on the one that should be the motive of this chapter, namely,
-moving house.</p>
-
-<p>If you are tolerably happy in the neighbourhood you know, pray take my
-advice and remain there; there are<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_7" id="page_7"></a>{7}</span> sure to be discomforts of some kind
-or other in any locality. I have never yet come across anyone who was
-perfectly satisfied with his or her belongings; certainly I have never
-met anyone who had not bitter complaint to make about the special
-locality he or she inhabited, and yet who did not ruffle up their
-feathers the moment any stranger found fault with it. But a
-neighbourhood is like a house, and requires locally knowing; and if we
-are for ever changing our neighbourhood, we can never feel at home
-anywhere.</p>
-
-<p>No doubt it is an unfashionable idea nowadays, this clinging to one
-place; but I think, if more consideration were given to the subject,
-life would be much better than it is at present, for far more good can
-be done by those who are able to help their poorer neighbours, should
-they remain year after year in the same place; for they are thus enabled
-to know them thoroughly, to sift the deserving from the hopeless, and
-finally to interest themselves in such a way in the real life around
-them that the place in which fate has placed them is in some measure
-better for their having made their home there. And this cannot be done
-satisfactorily by mere birds of passage, who have no ‘vested interests’
-in the place, and are ready to be off at a minute’s notice, just because
-they think a change would be nice.</p>
-
-<p>And once having made up your minds that a change of house is imperative,
-I advise you to ponder seriously and at great length over the pros and
-cons of a residence in the same neighbourhood, before finally
-determining to plant your roots elsewhere. I think what makes a
-residence in the suburbs almost unendurable is this mania for change,
-for we no sooner begin to know people there and like them than we find
-they are becoming uneasy; they fancy the place is unhealthy, someone has
-been rude, the nicest people have not called&mdash;as if the nicest people
-ever did rush to call without introductions of some sort or other&mdash;and
-they are off impatiently before they have entered into the life of a
-place they condemn ruthlessly because they do not really know what it is
-like.</p>
-
-<p>How long does it take to know a place? Well, if you are lucky enough to
-go there with really good introductions, I should think six months; if
-you know no one, and are dependent on chance, or the vicar of the
-parish, you may<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_8" id="page_8"></a>{8}</span> never know it at all; but, in ordinary cases, and where
-people have had their edges clipped by really good society, you ought to
-know quite as many people as you wish to in about three years.</p>
-
-<p>Therefore, if you have begun your residence in the suburbs, and have a
-nice church, a nice doctor, and nice friends, stay there; you don’t know
-how deeply your roots are planted until you begin to drag them up. If
-you are a Londoner, on no account be persuaded by artistic accounts of
-country delights to leave your beloved pavements and the exquisite
-freedom of a town life and surroundings: and if you are born and have
-lived among cabbages and roses&mdash;if you love the country, and can
-interest yourself mildly in the continual changes that are going on
-around you in your neighbours’ houses and the cottages round
-about&mdash;remain there; and be thankful for tastes which are innocent if
-they are circumscribed, and often result in a far nobler life than that
-made up mostly from excitement and dissipation; because anyone who can
-and will live cheerfully in the country, making work for the labourer,
-and employing folk in pure air, and in decent habitations, does much
-more for the human race than he wots of, and should be encouraged to do
-so in any manner that one possibly can.</p>
-
-<p>I am often being told that the country is a far cheaper place to live in
-than London; but I have tried both, and I know better. In the first
-place, in London you can do precisely what you like, and, provided your
-likes are not openly eccentric, no one will interfere with you. You can
-have ten friends or ten thousand acquaintances. You may wear one dress
-as long as it will hold together, and no one will doubt your
-capabilities of being respectable because of your shabby attire. You may
-get up when you like, go to bed when you like, need not give to any
-charity if you are not charitably disposed, need not keep a carriage,
-because you can at any moment hail any vehicle, and go anywhere you
-like; and, above all, can be so easily amused, and at so cheap a rate,
-that one need hardly put down ‘amusements’ in our schedule at all.</p>
-
-<p>Now in the country we must have some sort of a carriage if we wish to
-get outside our own immediate neighbourhood and mix with our
-fellow-creatures; from<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_9" id="page_9"></a>{9}</span> the humble ‘four-wheel’ of the farmer’s wife,
-and the curate’s donkey-cart, to the landau, waggonette, or smart little
-victoria of the other richer folk: all must have some other means of
-progression than would be afforded by one’s own legs. Our incomes are
-common property, and, should we have two new dresses in the course of
-the year, are a prey for all those dear creatures who spend their time
-in being charitable on other folk’s money. We must have a garden, and we
-obtain a scant supply of worm-eaten fruit, inferior flowers, and
-out-of-season vegetables, at a price for which we could have obtained
-the very best stores of Covent Garden&mdash;for by out-of-season I don’t mean
-that our pears and asparagus come before their time, but considerably
-after the period when they have become cheap in the market in London;
-and, finally, we cannot be amused without half ruining ourselves by
-constant rushes to town, by subscribing largely to Mudie, and by taking
-in every newspaper we can lay our hands on if we are readers, and if we
-are fond of finery, by sending for constant new garments, not because we
-want them, but because we really want to see what is being worn. Of
-course rates, rents, and taxes are much less in the country; but rent in
-London is less than it used to be, and in unfashionable neighbourhoods
-is not too exorbitant; but even with the rent considered, I still
-maintain one can live more cheaply in London than elsewhere, and can
-most certainly live longer there and far more pleasantly.</p>
-
-<p>So I do most strongly advise country mice to remain country mice, unless
-they make the change very young; and I implore town mice to cling to
-their pavements, for nothing short of a residence for generations in the
-country can teach one how to live under the microscope which is put over
-one the moment a stranger goes into the country to live, and nothing
-save being born to it could ever reconcile one to having one’s most
-intimate personal concerns discussed at the bar of every public house,
-over every shop counter, in every parlour, as they are discussed in an
-ordinary rural place, or to having one’s most innocent speeches repeated
-until one would certainly not recognise them, did they return to us
-after their last repetition.</p>
-
-<p>I declare that twenty years of residence in and about the country have
-never reconciled me to all this, or caused me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_10" id="page_10"></a>{10}</span> to take the profound
-interest in my turn in my neighbours, in the way that aborigines do to
-reconcile and repay themselves for their own sojourn under the
-microscope, and which a country born and bred individual takes as
-naturally as he does his absence from the theatres, and his utter lack
-of interest on any other topic than the ever-absorbing one of ‘who is
-going to marry whom,’ or who is not, and what the curate’s last baby was
-called, and why that special name was selected; and, therefore, I never
-lose an opportunity of warning the ducks to remain in the pond, and the
-hens in the farmyard where they were hatched, for I am quite sure my
-experience is not a solitary one by any means, and has often been the
-fate of those who went into the country because no one warned them that
-the delights thereof were mere snares and delusions, and who would give
-anything to return, only they cannot afford another move.</p>
-
-<p>And I have no doubt that the country mice are as miserable in the town
-in their turn: they miss the intimate conversations, the familiarity of
-their friendships; they pine for fresh air, and weep over ‘smuts;’ the
-noise and bustle we love so dearly bewilders and distresses them; they
-object to putting on gloves and a bonnet whenever they go out, resent
-being unable to ‘run in’ at any moment to their acquaintances, dread the
-streets, see disease lurking at every corner, in every glass of milk, in
-each vestment fresh from the laundress, and, pining away, become pale,
-ill, and wretched, and put it down to London, when really the misery
-lies entirely in themselves.</p>
-
-<p>Have I said enough to show my readers that when they are contemplating a
-move they should do their utmost to remain in the same neighbourhood, or
-at all events in one with the main workings of which they are in a
-measure familiar? I think so; and if at the same time I tell them to
-remember the church where their children were christened, the doctor who
-helped them over so many hours of pain and trouble, and finally the
-friends they made&mdash;and old friends should never be given up on any
-account whatever&mdash;I believe they will see that a change even for the
-better has always its trials, and that a great many things should be
-considered before up-rooting takes place, and a family is landed in an
-entirely new locality, that, be it as nice<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_11" id="page_11"></a>{11}</span> as it may be, has its own
-interests, in which the new-comer has neither part nor parcel, and its
-unwritten laws and small rules of etiquette, which are as rigid as they
-are incomprehensible to an outsider.</p>
-
-<p>I think in every neighbourhood there should be also some agent to send
-out lists of all the pros and cons, the ins and outs of a neighbourhood,
-which should show you at once the number and styles of the different
-churches, the state of society (it could be ‘young,’ ‘army,’ ‘lawyers,’
-or anything almost), the schools, the advantages and disadvantages, and,
-in fact, all the particulars one wants to know. They should truthfully
-and in confidence give one all the required information, and then one
-would not run the risk of making mistakes. But as this seems impossible,
-a residence for a short time in a furnished house (one’s own house could
-in turn be let to some one who wants to investigate our neighbourhood)
-should be indulged in. A very few weeks would inform us of all we want
-to know; for even if we did not become acquainted with one soul
-personally, we should have looked at the people and taken stock of their
-windows, from which I think one can always learn so much, and can
-quietly make our own inquiries about schools, churches, and the rest of
-the vital points of interest about a new residence, and come as quietly
-to the conclusion as to whether the neighbourhood will suit us or not,
-before going to the expense of moving and decorating to suit ourselves
-and our belongings&mdash;an expense which once incurred often binds us hard
-and fast to a place from which we would give our ears to remove.</p>
-
-<p>Then comes the question of the house. This should be large enough to
-take all the family and allow for any possible additions; but at the
-same time Angelina will have to remember that when the boys are at
-school there will always be a room for a friend, and therefore the
-question of spare rooms is not such a vital one as it was. She will also
-have to legislate for the girls’ own room&mdash;probably a room for a
-governess, though a resident governess should be avoided unless the
-house is a good size, and unless she is an absolute necessity. There is
-the schoolroom to think of, and she must contemplate&mdash;perhaps
-ruefully&mdash;the nurseries, with an eye to adapting them to another
-purpose, when that saddest of all days comes when we cannot deceive
-ourselves<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_12" id="page_12"></a>{12}</span> into believing a nursery is any longer necessary, and we have
-to turn our backs on our youth and the dear small child-inhabitants at
-the same time. A house without a nursery is never as joyous or lively as
-one that possesses such a room, and it’s no use trying to believe this
-to be the case. Still it is equally of no use to set apart the best room
-in the house for that most pleasant of all chambers, if there is no
-chance of nursery children, and if all are merged into the young
-gentlemen and ladies, who are fast growing up and eagerly longing to
-launch their boats on the sea of life for a cruise of their own.</p>
-
-<p>When the house is positively and actually selected and the move
-imminent, when the lease is signed and the decorations are in train, the
-first step to take is to get several estimates from firms who are
-accustomed to do nothing else save move furniture. In nothing does price
-fluctuate so much as it does in these estimates, and when we moved from
-Dorsetshire to Shortlands there was actually and positively a difference
-of 100<i>l.</i> in the highest and lowest of the many estimates we had, the
-person selected being just 100<i>l.</i> lower in his price than the man who
-made us our first offer.</p>
-
-<p>To move luxuriously we should have taken house number two for a quarter
-before we are obliged to leave our own. Of course if we could persuade
-the landlord to let us have it for six weeks it would be better; but not
-many landlords are as accommodating as this, and unfortunately many of
-us cannot afford a double rent even for such a short space of time.
-Still an effort should be made, as undoubtedly much is wasted in a
-hurried move&mdash;in an enforced turning out on quarter day into another
-house on the same date.</p>
-
-<p>It is only people in very straitened circumstances who accept in these
-artistic days of ours the landlord’s scheme of decoration. Formerly
-there were no ideas in the head of an ordinary paterfamilias on the
-subject of paint and paper, and as long as all was clean and in good
-condition he did not agitate himself in the least about his surroundings
-as far as mere colour and ‘decoration’ were concerned, and he cheerfully
-spread his Turkey carpet and placed his heavy sideboard and mahogany
-table and chairs in position, regardless of the fact that the ‘good’
-flock paper and vulgar<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_13" id="page_13"></a>{13}</span> graining made up a <i>tout ensemble</i> as utterly
-depressing as it was tasteless and absolutely without character.</p>
-
-<p>But now, I am glad to think, what is already in one’s possession governs
-in some measure what alterations are to be made, and as fate never yet
-was so propitious as to put one down straight from one house into
-another which was exactly decorated to our taste, we may be quite sure
-that there are many things to do to any place to which we may
-contemplate moving; therefore I say if possible let the two leases,
-<i>i.e.</i> of your present and your future house, run side by side for six
-weeks at least: so shall you move comfortably, and be able to make those
-alterations that are perfectly sure to be necessary.</p>
-
-<p>A new house should never by any chance be entered in the September
-quarter; it is astonishing what an amount of coal and reckless
-expenditure of gas is required to obtain even moderate warmth in a new
-house; and furthermore most appalling discoveries are apt to be made, as
-soon as the fires are lighted, of the manner in which floors, doors, and
-window-frames are capable of shrinking the moment warmth penetrates the
-place; these we can circumvent in summer, but the winter is not a time
-to run any risks of discovering that the more we try to warm the house
-the wider open gape the cracks in all the woodwork, and that nothing we
-can do will really warm a place, more and more exposed as days go by to
-the four winds of heaven. Therefore, if the future house has never been
-lived in, enter it in June, or even in March; there will then be ample
-time to find out all faults in the structure before the winter arrives
-with all its concomitant miseries.</p>
-
-<p>Delightful Mr. Aspinall, for whose existence I can never be sufficiently
-thankful, has made house decoration mere child’s play compared to what
-it used to be; and, armed with his paints and a written description of
-what each room is to be like when done, the foreman can be left to his
-own devices, and the old house can be returned to with a safe
-conscience; for if careful selection has been made of each paper and its
-own particular paint, no risks are run of finding, as I found when I
-made my last move, that owing to the peculiar freaks of the painter
-there were seven shades of blue in my hall, and another separate shade
-of the same colour in a bed-room that was designed for a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_14" id="page_14"></a>{14}</span> gem, and was
-becoming under the wretch’s brush the exact shade of a butcher’s apron,
-which was his own idea of a complete match to the ‘Berry’ paper&mdash;really
-a good hedge-sparrow egg blue-green! If only he had had Aspinall’s neat
-little tins, I should not have had to stand over him all the time he
-mixed his paint, and most of the time he was applying it, and could not
-see at the last that he was wrong and I was absolutely right. So if
-those about to move will leave their decorators instructions to use
-Aspinall and nothing else, they can be absolutely sure that their paint
-will be right, and not a perpetual eyesore, as it almost invariably is
-when left to the tender mercies of the ordinary decorator, who considers
-he has an eye for colour, and is as obstinate as half-educated people
-invariably are.</p>
-
-<p>Briefly, then, the first thing we have to do when we contemplate moving
-is to really make up our minds that such a step is absolutely necessary,
-because no one who has never moved can understand the mental misery
-caused by tearing up one’s roots even from an uncongenial soil;
-secondly, to carefully select a house likely to be our home for the rest
-of our lives; thirdly, to still more carefully choose and put in train a
-scheme of decoration that will harmonise in some measure with our
-cherished possessions; and fourthly, to endeavour not to be forced at
-the last to move hurriedly or into a new house in the winter. Once these
-details are remembered and enforced, the real process of moving may
-begin, and be got over as soon as the new house is ready for the
-inmates.</p>
-
-<p>The mere move itself should be left entirely in the hands of the people
-employed. Personally, I recommend for any one in the suburbs Bachelar,
-of Croydon, who moved our furniture most successfully in the south of
-England. Peace, of Bridgewater and Bournemouth, is equally to be
-commended. Unfortunately, I know no one in the north, but I have no
-doubt there are many firms there; but in any case all should be written
-to, and estimates should be carefully considered before definitely
-selecting any one from among their number; but all one’s belongings
-should be in covered furniture vans: open vans or railway trucks are
-ruination, and should never for one moment be used; and no estimate
-which includes moving any of the ‘goods and chattels’ in open trucks
-should be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_15" id="page_15"></a>{15}</span> considered seriously, as even the roughest furniture suffers
-considerably by being carted about in this primitive manner, and is
-spoiled to a far greater extent than the mere difference between the two
-kinds of conveyances would pay for.</p>
-
-<p>The books and pictures should be packed first, and unpacked last; the
-carpets should be rolled up, after a good shaking, with camphor-bags
-inside, even for the shortest transit; the straw, &amp;c., used in packing
-them in the most carefully supervised vans having been proved a most
-comfortable home for small and teasing animals, which, discovering that
-carpets, pillows, and beds are warmer and more comfortable on the whole
-than straw, forsake their habitations for eligible residences among our
-properties if we have not made them unbearable with camphor and a good
-sprinkling of Keating’s insect powder before they leave our hands. Each
-room-full of furniture should be placed ready to be again put down in
-the special room for which it is intended. The carpets should remain
-rolled until the last of the movers is departed; then after the floors
-have been most thoroughly scrubbed with carbolic soap, the carpets
-should be well beaten, and should be relaid if possible by the hands of
-some ‘professional,’ for on the proper laying of a carpet depends far
-more of the wear than we quite realise. The best furniture mover cannot
-resist&mdash;please remember this!&mdash;the exquisite temptation to which he is
-exposed to stuff up odd corners, and to prevent shaking by making
-‘buffers’ out of our pillows, cushions, and odds and ends generally; and
-as he furthermore has most excellent wrapping material in blankets,
-small rugs, and other similar trifles, the amateur must come to the
-rescue of her goods, or the professional packer will be much too strong
-for her.</p>
-
-<p>In really well-organised and well-managed households each bed pillow and
-mattress should have its loose and washable cover sewn tightly over it
-of whitey-brown crash; these covers should be washed every year&mdash;if
-possible, every six months, and if these are arranged for they will in a
-great measure protect our property from the dirt and certain amount of
-almost indispensable damage, which would accrue to them were they left
-to the tender mercies of the remover, who would at once use them as
-mentioned above, and would not disdain to walk upon them cheerfully,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_16" id="page_16"></a>{16}</span>
-did they seem to require more pressing down than a mere arrangement with
-the hands would effect; but if they are not so defended before the move
-is actually in progress, these covers should be made, or else great
-sheets of coarse crash, such as is used for packing purposes, should be
-strongly sewn round them, or inevitably we shall have to send all the
-bedding to the upholsterers to be ‘re-done’&mdash;<i>i.e.</i> picked over and
-readjusted, and the ticks washed also. The blankets must be even more
-carefully protected. I have seen them wrapped round iron bedsteads, and
-large mirrors, and with boots and even knives inside their folds, and in
-any case they are ruthlessly annexed for packing purposes. Now to
-circumvent this I strongly advise that space should be left at the top
-of the box of each person inhabiting each separate room, and into this
-space the folded blankets should go, to be ready for use at once, and to
-be out of the way of the ‘ravagers.’ The clothes that should have
-occupied the space in the box can be most safely left in the chests of
-drawers and wardrobes, for ‘personal property’ of all kinds is
-invariably respected, and not the most ruthless of packers would dream
-of enfolding grimy objects in body linen or even among the folds of
-heavy winter dresses. These are invariably left exactly as one last
-placed them, and are emphatically respected, while even new blankets
-appear to have an irresistible attraction for them, and are annexed at
-once, while venerable ones suffer in the most appalling way conceivable.</p>
-
-<p>It is absolutely impossible to move in anything like comfort or peace
-unless the juvenile members of the family and their nurses are ‘boarded
-out.’</p>
-
-<p>It is astonishing how very kind people are to each other when this
-trying work is proceeding, and there are few among us, if indeed there
-are any, who are not possessed of relatives, or at least dear friends,
-who will stretch their houses to the extent of taking in some of the
-children for the inside of a week; but if there are none on whom we can
-rely, the children should be sent to an hotel, or lodgings should be
-taken for them for a week; for if this is not done we should be quite
-sure to be driven mad by them, by the utter helplessness of their
-nurses, and by the certainty that we should have them all ill from the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_17" id="page_17"></a>{17}</span>
-draughts, the scrappy meals, the uncertain hours, and the thousand and
-one absolutely unpreventable events that are familiar to every mother,
-and therefore need not be detailed here.</p>
-
-<p>Let us suppose, therefore, that our move is to commence on a Tuesday, an
-excellent day, which leaves Monday for our private packings, for the men
-to pack the books, china, and ornaments (the number of my possessions in
-these several ways always eliciting most amusing comments), and for us
-to clear out the children and nurses; these latter, by the way, should
-have carefully packed all the children’s things the week before in boxes
-marked ‘Nursery’ in large chalk letters, and should take with them to
-their lodgings only what is absolutely necessary. We will then proceed
-up-stairs, put all the blankets away as suggested just now, see our
-garments are so bestowed that they are safe, the silver and jewellery in
-the charge of the man-servant if there be one, in the charge of the
-parlour-maid if there be none, and then we should see placards are up in
-each room, inscribed with the name of the room into which the things are
-to go; and our task at the other end will be much simplified if we also
-attach labels to each very heavy piece of furniture, taking care similar
-labels are already placed in a prominent position in the rooms they are
-intended for.</p>
-
-<p>The packing of a big house takes about two days, and on the evening of
-the first day two of the servants and one of the household, the eldest
-daughter if possible, should go on to the new house; if, however, there
-is a long journey before them they should start almost as soon as the
-vans come, as the first will arrive Wednesday morning at the new abode,
-and someone should be there to receive it. The mistress and master
-should remain until Wednesday night, when they too should go on to the
-new abode, travelling by night if necessary, and the oldest and
-trustworthiest servant should be left to see the house is cleaned down
-by a couple of charwomen, and to hand the keys to a representative of
-the landlord, who should go over the house with an agent on the side of
-the remover to see all was left properly and undamaged by the out-going
-tenant; then the maid or man could rest at a friend’s house or at the
-local inn, and join the rest of the party on Thursday morning.</p>
-
-<p>It is absolutely necessary that a separate hamper of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_18" id="page_18"></a>{18}</span> food ready cooked
-and sufficient to supply the household for three days should be sent on
-with the first batch of domestics, and the hamper should contain kettle,
-cups and saucers, plates, and knives and forks, besides the actual food.
-The cook will not be able to be spared from putting her belongings in
-order to cook eatables, but an ample supply is necessary; for, as all
-will be working hard, all will require sustenance. This hamper should be
-at once put into the larder in the new house, the door locked, and the
-key kept by the servant herself.</p>
-
-<p>The contents of the servants’ bedrooms, the kitchen, and one
-sitting-room, and, if possible, one bedroom besides, should be
-despatched first, and as each article is brought in someone should seat
-herself on a camp-stool in the hall and should call out ‘Dining-room,’
-‘Servants’ bedroom,’ ‘Blue room,’ or otherwise name its destination; so
-will the movers avoid the pleasing sight, that met my eyes when I moved
-last, of the complete contents of three rooms placed higgledy-piggledy
-in the centre of one chamber, heaped up like ‘leaves in Vallombrosa,’
-where the wretched painters were dawdling over their work still; the
-painters who had caused this chaos by insisting that none of the other
-rooms were ready, though none were as absolutely unfinished as that in
-which they had arranged this pleasing reception for me.</p>
-
-<p>Thank goodness, my rage was so extreme that I turned them out neck and
-crop, else, verily, I believe they would be here at this very moment;
-but I always determined to use my own sufferings as a warning to others,
-and I relate this experience in the hope that no one will attempt a move
-until the painters are out, and unless they will manage it on the lines
-here laid down for them.</p>
-
-<p>The men who move are always supposed to lay carpets, hang pictures and
-curtains, and replace the books in cases. Whenever money is a very great
-object&mdash;and, in that case, no move should be contemplated unless it were
-a matter of health or the bread-winner’s change of employment&mdash;I
-strongly advise that they should do nothing of the kind.</p>
-
-<p>In the first place, the carpets should not be placed until the last man
-has departed; and in the second, it is infinitely better to have not
-only a regular carpet-layer, but a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_19" id="page_19"></a>{19}</span> man accustomed to hang pictures and
-arrange brackets, mirrors, &amp;c. I personally have a great many pictures
-and odds and ends, and I have twice had a most excellent man from
-Shoolbred’s on these occasions, who came properly provided with nails,
-copper-wire, and all necessary tools, and who, for a little under 3<i>l.</i>,
-quietly, swiftly, and skilfully placed the pictures, &amp;c., in their
-places, with just a very little supervision from me; for, like all those
-who have no regular art education, he had the usual mania for hanging
-everything ever so much higher than it ought to be&mdash;a mania I most
-successfully and promptly combated! But beyond this, and giving him a
-few directions as to the placing of the pictures in due order, I left
-matters to him; and in three days&mdash;for, like an angel, he remained his
-Saturday half-holiday at my urgent request&mdash;all the walls were decorated
-and finished properly, which they could not have been in double the time
-had I been forced to rely on the help of those in the house.</p>
-
-<p>The china and books should be the last things arranged, and this cannot
-be completed, I fear, in the week; but, thanks to my plan of short
-curtains and no blinds, any window can be arranged in exactly ten
-minutes. For, of course, the slight brass rods should be in place before
-the move begins; and the carpets being square are laid in about half an
-hour each, the carpet-layer going swiftly from room to room, and the
-maids replacing the furniture, with the help of a man, as he leaves the
-room; and as once curtains are up and carpets down the worst of the
-battle is over, we may, perhaps, even arrange the china and books before
-Sunday, and so spend in truth a real day of rest.</p>
-
-<p>I have all the decorative china arranged on a tiny folding-table we call
-a choir-table, because it is brought into use for choir teas and other
-similar festivities, and from this are picked out quickly and easily the
-distinctive pieces devoted to each room: the book-shelves are up, and
-then the books, being packed in something like order, are arranged, and,
-in consequence, carefully done. A move need never take more than ten
-days; and it would be simply indefensible were not the house absolutely
-and completely straight in a fortnight; and, above all, let the
-servants’ apartments and the nurseries be put in order first. Servants,
-as a rule, are far less able, both by temperament<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_20" id="page_20"></a>{20}</span> and education, than
-we are, to bear being ‘put out of their ways,’ and being over-worked and
-over-tired resent, as no really trained and well-disciplined nature
-resents, the small discomforts that we know will soon be entirely
-forgotten, but that are apt at the time to cause friction, and, if not
-properly legislated for, may even lose us a good and valuable servant.</p>
-
-<p>And, inasmuch as we have had an education and advantages, and inherit in
-some cases the disciplined nature of forefathers and mothers equally
-disciplined and educated, we must show that we have profited by these
-said advantages at such times as these; and whereas we know that our
-maids have had none, we should consider them, and look after them much
-as we should after children, being quite sure we shall be rewarded after
-our struggles by cheerful faces and willing arms, that are twice as
-cheerful and willing as they would be did we not remember to tell them
-how tired they must be, and to see they have extra food, and a small
-amount of coddling even, to carry them over the present stress of work.</p>
-
-<p>The children should not return until one sees their rooms are dry and
-warm and straight. This, like all the rest of the move, must be done by
-organisation, and the rooms could be properly ready by Saturday night;
-but each maid must be told off to the different rooms, and the mistress
-and her daughter (and I do hope, for her sake, she may have that most
-invaluable of all possessions&mdash;a grown-up daughter) must never relax
-their supervision, else sundry gigglings and rompings about will hinder
-work, and denote that, like most young feminine creatures, the maids are
-disorganised by the presence of the opposite sex, and are endeavouring
-to combine amusement and work in a most unsatisfactory and impossible
-manner.</p>
-
-<p>The master of the house, poor creature! will confine his energies in
-most cases to paying for the move, or, if he be very exemplary, after
-arranging the wine-cellar he will see to the books and help with the
-pictures. I have even heard rumours of men who are most useful and
-helpful at similar crises; but as I have never yet found any male rise
-above the discomfort sufficiently to be of real use in the matter, I
-must put down this as a mere rumour, only hoping that it may be true. He
-is, however, invaluable<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_21" id="page_21"></a>{21}</span> when it comes to managing the men who come to
-move, and should be considered angelic if he does not grumble over his
-scrappy dinner, or resent the fact that, unless he can go to an hotel,
-he is not likely to have any decent meals for at least three days&mdash;a
-fact a woman rather enjoys than deplores, as she recognises that for
-those three days at least there are no orders to give and no regular
-planning of food to be done.</p>
-
-<p>The first few days in a new house are replete with misery. On the
-commencement of our tenancy we are literally besieged by the tradesmen
-coming to endeavour to secure our custom; but we should be wise if from
-some friend we were to obtain a list of those who are really reliable,
-until we are able to send round to the butchers, and obtain lists of
-prices from all for comparison, and have time to discover which of the
-local grocers will serve us at co-operative prices for ready money. But
-under no circumstances do I advise allowing a grocer’s man to call for
-orders: a grocer’s bill being the one of all others that is liable to
-swell to gigantic proportions. The moment a daily visit is permitted,
-the maids appear to rack their brains to see what they can order, and I
-have saved myself at least five shillings a week since I put a veto on
-the daily call, which seemed a signal for them to discover that
-hearthstones, vinegar, treacle, and similar ‘intangible’ objects were
-required; and by ‘intangible’ I mean articles that might be wanted, as
-it is impossible to regulate the supplies of these as one can other
-goods; and as I have had far less of all since I send a written order to
-either Shoolbred or Whiteley&mdash;whose men are not naturally in the least
-likely to press for orders, and whose sole duties consist in bringing
-the things, and receiving payment for the same&mdash;I strongly recommend all
-housewives either to deal with them, or to go to the local grocers
-themselves, and at once impress on them that no orders given in the
-kitchen are to be attended to under any pretext whatever.</p>
-
-<p>The tradesman difficulty is the first misery, and then come the miseries
-of making acquaintance really with our house and surroundings. We are
-sure to discover a thousand small vexatious omissions in the house
-itself, and above all&mdash;‘<i>miserere mei!</i>’&mdash;will we see with dismay that
-the furniture which looked quite beautiful in our old home has
-suddenly,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_22" id="page_22"></a>{22}</span> and in the most unprovoked manner, become absolutely shabby
-and miserable.</p>
-
-<p>This is an unanswerable problem, but it is a fact, and I can only
-account for it by suggesting that the new paper and paint are to blame,
-and that the sooner we get our furniture done up and rejuvenated the
-sooner shall we become reconciled to our new house; but, of course, this
-costs money&mdash;at a time, too, when money has been flowing away a little
-too freely to be pleasant&mdash;and, no doubt, we may have to wait: another
-reason why a move is trying, and why, like marriage, it should never be
-undertaken lightly or unadvisedly; and at first we must make the best of
-our surroundings, being duly thankful for the square carpets and the
-light short curtains that save us so much piecing and planning, and
-looking forward to new cretonne and tapestry as soon as we can afford
-it.</p>
-
-<p>Then comes the misery of making new friends; and here I would say a word
-of warning to those who go to an entirely unknown place, and have
-absolutely no introductions. The best and nicest folk do not rush to
-call on new people unless they have some knowledge of them; therefore
-wait a little and ‘gang warily’ before accepting as your <i>fidus Achates</i>
-the first lady who enters your doors, for doubtless her call is caused
-by curiosity, and because she has but few acquaintances and wishes
-ardently to have more.</p>
-
-<p>Of course, if you have an immense house and heaps of money, everyone
-calls on the house and on your income, and you can soon discriminate for
-yourselves who is likely to be desirable and who is not; but the
-ordinary householder should be very cautious about the acquaintances she
-makes until she feels her feet, and can find out somehow&mdash;it is from the
-clergyman and his wife generally&mdash;who is who, taking care in her turn to
-tell enough of herself and her forbears to show that she is respectable
-at any rate, and obtaining in due course the same sort of information
-about those with whom she is surrounded.</p>
-
-<p>In London&mdash;dear, lovely, unsnobbish London&mdash;one can do absolutely as one
-likes about everything, and nowhere is society as good as it is there.
-In the country the very best society is dull. In London one can meet
-with the only society worth having, in my opinion: the society of those
-who either in art, literature, science, or politics have ‘done<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_23" id="page_23"></a>{23}</span>
-something,’ and are making the history of the world. From this country
-folk are absolutely debarred: another reason, dear readers, why I say
-live in London, if you can in any way contrive to do so, and do not
-leave it on any pretext whatever. But as man must associate with his
-kind or perish, no doubt there are compensating elements in country
-society that are evident to those who have lived among it all their
-lives. At any rate, we can live more unselfishly in the country, and do
-more good to those of our poorer brethren than we can in these crowded
-streets, where they are nothing to us save a probable source of
-infection, and a certain source of annoyance and dread.</p>
-
-<p>To sum up this chapter briefly, then: let no move be made, unless such a
-course is absolutely imperative; let it be done in order and with
-regularity; and make no rushes into friendship in your new neighbourhood
-until you have discovered who is who, and made due inquiries on this
-subject; and, above all, under all circumstances, if fate has absolutely
-obliged you to make that particular move, make the best of it, and don’t
-always either mentally or openly contrast your present abode
-unfavourably and bad-temperedly with your last location. You have to
-live where you have pitched your tent: therefore, bad as the place may
-appear to you, try and smother your feelings until use has made you
-reconciled to your new surroundings, even if ‘home’ has not asserted its
-charm and caused you to become fond of the place, because your best and
-dearest are there with you. It will be an effort, I can assure you, to
-do so, but if you are strong-minded enough to suffer in silence, you
-will be repaid for so doing a thousand-fold.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_II" id="CHAPTER_II"></a>CHAPTER II.<br /><br />
-<small>HALLS AND PASSAGES.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> first part of the new house that should be attacked by the
-decorator’s art is undoubtedly the hall: and as undoubtedly it is here
-that the ordinary speculative builder surpasses himself; for, as a rule,
-the moment one opens the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_24" id="page_24"></a>{24}</span> front door one falls up the staircase, or else
-one is confronted by a long, hopeless passage, which strikes a chill
-into the stoutest heart, especially if the owner of that heart has not
-had much experience in the art of ‘how to make the best’ of a very bad
-state of affairs.</p>
-
-<p>But in these days of ours nothing in the way of amelioration is
-impossible; and, indeed, were I given <i>carte blanche</i> I would undertake
-to make the most hideous, square, ‘impossible’ house a bower of beauty.
-That sounds very egotistical, but I really do not mean it to be so; I
-only should like to impress upon my readers that never before has so
-much attention been given to decoration of houses as is given now, and
-that by the aid of carefully planned woodwork and by using arches on the
-plan of the Moorish fretwork first introduced by Liberty, a square room
-can be made picturesque, and a long narrow passage pleasant to
-contemplate, by simply putting up a series of slight arches, or else by
-curtaining off portions of it by aid of simple wooden partitions, such
-as are illustrated on page 25. I am very proud indeed of this sketch, as
-it was made from a brilliant inspiration of mine for a house where the
-instant one opened the door leading into the street, one was confronted
-by the stairs on one hand, and a long uninteresting straight passage on
-the other; and I was indeed pleased when I suddenly saw that a couple of
-arches could be cut out from what might have been a partition placed
-along the foot of the stairs from one side of the hall to the other, and
-that the arch at the stair foot could be curtained by a double curtain
-or pair of curtains, which would fall together when anyone raised it to
-go upstairs; while the other arch could be draped either to the left or
-right with a heavy piece of material according to the position of the
-wall, or whether there is anything in the way of a cupboard or door to
-be concealed.</p>
-
-<p>Treated in this way, the ordinary tiresome little hall of a London house
-is metamorphosed, at once, and, as the wooden framework can be so
-arranged that it can be screwed into the wall and so be made removable
-at will, I am quite sure this notion of mine will ‘catch on,’ as the
-Yankees say, more especially as Messrs. Wallace &amp; Co., of Curtain Road,
-E.C., are willing to erect it ready painted and varnished at about 1<i>l.</i>
-a foot; that is to say, if the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_25" id="page_25"></a>{25}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_1" id="ill_1"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-025_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-025_sml.jpg" width="311" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 1.&mdash;Hall Arrangement." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 1.&mdash;Hall Arrangement.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_26" id="page_26"></a>{26}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">passage were six feet wide the arches would cost about 6<i>l.</i>, if twelve
-12<i>l.</i>, and so on. The arches could be enamelled to match the hall
-decorations, and the curtains could be of some heavy material like the
-‘Elvira’ tapestry, or the beautiful jute velvet or Bokhara plush, which
-is undoubtedly <i>the</i> material for draping, while even the humbler serge
-is not to be despised; but in this case the curtain in the stair arch
-should be made double and very full, a great deal of the appearance of
-this ‘notion’ depending on full graceful curtains and proper draperies.</p>
-
-<p>It would even be possible in a hall arranged like this to have one of
-the hideous hat and coat rails which die so hard; but even here I again
-repeat my warning against these monstrosities; they can never look like
-anything save Bluebeard’s wives hanging up against the wall, and are
-always a temptation to the gentle burglar or the common area sneak who
-delights to make off with coats and hats even if he can find nothing
-else; but if the master of the house declines to allow himself to be
-educated up to keeping his garments out of sight, he may be humoured by
-allowing him a place behind the hall curtain, which should be then
-properly draped in such a manner that the coats and hats would be
-completely hidden; a china or brass receptacle for umbrellas could be
-put on the other side of the convenient curtain also, and so all these
-most undecorative items will be put out of sight, thus causing the
-arches to be as useful as they are undoubtedly ornamental.</p>
-
-<p>In many houses the staircase goes up at the side and does not face the
-front door, and here, too, the arches come in with great effect. I mean
-in those houses where there is a straight passage from the front door to
-a room opposite which faces the door and so ends the house; in the
-passage there are usually two doors, one on either side, belonging to
-the dining and morning rooms, the end room being often enough a small
-back room, or, as was the case in our house at Shortlands, even the
-drawing-room itself; there the passage opens out on the right hand and
-discloses the staircase close by the door and a passage leading to the
-lavatory; here the arches conceal the staircase at once and also the
-latter arrangement, and make a decoration out of what is always to me a
-great eyesore. In one case where the arches have been erected the
-passage led to the servants’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_27" id="page_27"></a>{27}</span> pantry, the door of which always stood
-invitingly open, disclosing sink and washings-up generally to the eyes
-of the critical caller; the curtain conceals all that now splendidly,
-and the whole arrangement gives an idea of space and ‘veiled
-possibilities’ which is really marvellous.</p>
-
-<p>When we came to our present abode the hall here struck me with dismay,
-and it was some time before I could understand in the least what could
-be done with it; it was exactly like a telescope, with a hideous window
-at one end, opening out on to several dead trees, and what looked like
-the family washing, with doors appearing just where such doors should be
-concealed, and, of course, it had beautiful marble papers and graining
-and a brand-new dado of a dark and hideous design in varnished paper
-too; the ‘decorations,’ however, I did not consider; but I racked my
-brains about the long, narrow, awful passage called by courtesy ‘the
-hall,’ and at last I had an inspiration. I ran a wooden partition
-across, about ten feet from the end of the place, and behind that put in
-a hot and cold water arrangement, and made it into a regular cloak-room;
-opening out another door into that, which previously opened out into a
-tiny passage leading into the fourth sitting-room, which would have been
-absolutely unusable had not this been done; and then, by the aid of bent
-laths and a little plaster, two arches were made in the passage, draped,
-one to the right, the other to the left, with a ‘khelim,’ looped with
-cords and tassels; and so I obtained what old Astley used to call a
-‘wister’&mdash;<i>i.e.</i> a vista&mdash;and made a really decorated spot out of a most
-commonplace passage. Of course all the coats and hats are in the
-cloak-room, and there is nothing in the hall itself save the buffet
-illustrated on next page, which is in old oak, and which always looks
-nice, and forms a place where the cards of visitors can be placed, or
-the letters from the post, or other trifles; a couple of chairs for
-emergencies, the gong, and one of Mr. Pither’s beautiful red pots on a
-bamboo stand holding one of the long-suffering Aspidistras, which will
-live in draughts, and successfully bear uncomplainingly what would
-certainly kill at once any other plant, completing the furniture of this
-so-called hall.</p>
-
-<p>My readers will be amused to hear that since I wrote ‘From Kitchen to
-Garret’ I have learned a very great<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_28" id="page_28"></a>{28}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_2" id="ill_2"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-028_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-028_sml.jpg" width="435" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 2.&mdash;Oak Buffet." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 2.&mdash;Oak Buffet.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">many things; indeed, if I had not, I should most certainly not be
-writing a second instalment of ‘furniture literature.’ However, as one
-of these items is undoubtedly about the hall, I am now going to mention
-it here at once. Reluctantly, but emphatically, have I come to the
-conclusion that where hard wear is expected it is absolutely necessary
-to have linoleum of some kind or the other on the floor. Of course a
-great many well-regulated households are provided with nice tiles, which
-I can never look at without envy; but as the majority of folks are not
-so highly favoured, and as most households possess boys, and many<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_29" id="page_29"></a>{29}</span> have
-dogs too, I have regretfully discovered that, if a house is to be kept
-clean and tidy, the hall must have some material to cover it that can be
-washed daily, and so can be perpetually and properly kept in order.
-There is a particularly pretty linoleum made by the Staines Linoleum
-Company in Queen Victoria Street, E.C., which resembles tiny squares of
-black and white marble, which looks very well down. Of course it is a
-sham, and as such is to be deprecated, but I cannot help recommending
-it, as it looks so clean and nice and bright, and would do admirably in
-some halls; while for those who will not allow any shams anywhere in
-their houses, nothing looks so nice as the darkest brown self-coloured
-linoleum put down all over the passages and halls, with some six-foot
-and even larger rugs about. The rugs must be as large as possible, as
-little rugs are apt to slip and move under the servants’ feet. They also
-have a most aggravating manner of turning up at the edges, and becoming
-shabby; while the large rugs will wear for years, and stand really very
-hard wear too. These are about 28<i>s.</i> at either Maple’s or Treloar’s,
-and measure about three yards long by about one and a half yards wide. I
-say about, as none of these rugs seem to me to be exactly the same size;
-but this is near enough to give my readers some idea of how many they
-would require if they elect to put them down in their halls. The smaller
-rugs are about six feet long, and about four wide. These should have a
-wide binding sown on at the back, top and bottom, with a few shots, or
-else those round leaden weights used in ladies’ jackets, underneath the
-binding to keep the ends down, and prevent the curling which is so
-unsightly and tiresome in these small rugs, and on damp hall-floors
-should be lined at the back with American leather.</p>
-
-<p>Linoleum should never be scrubbed with soap and water, for this removes
-the pattern; but should be rubbed with a wet house-flannel to remove the
-dirt, and then polished with sour milk and water; plain brown linoleum
-should be kept in order with linseed oil (boiled) and turpentine mixed.
-This is specially required at first; for, like all materials which have
-no pattern on, it shows every footmark, and at first appears as if it
-were going to wear villainously; but the oil and turpentine soon restore
-it, and the rugs prevent the usual miserable effect of a plain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_30" id="page_30"></a>{30}</span>
-material, which&mdash;I cannot think why&mdash;always wears badly if left to
-itself, and invariably looks untidy and shabby almost before it is down;
-therefore we may consider it an axiom that, if we are not provided with
-a good tiled floor, we cannot do better than have either the Staines
-linoleum to simulate marble, or the plain linoleum and rugs&mdash;this for
-preference. The linoleum should be washed daily with a damp duster, and
-the rugs shaken, and once a week all should be cleaned with the linseed
-oil and turpentine; this will double the wear, and insure all marks
-being quite removed.</p>
-
-<p>Another thing which I have most certainly learned is, that, delightful
-as felt looks and feels, and that beautiful as are the colours in which
-it is made, it is absolutely worthless for real wear. I had it laid down
-in the Watford house, when we went there, all over the halls and
-passages, and on the stairs too, and was quite delighted with the soft,
-warm feel thereof, and the appearance was equally pleasing; but we had
-not been there six months before that wretched stuff became the curse of
-the household; every single drop of water, every thread, or morsel of
-dust, every footmark showed; and from morning until night something had
-to be done in the shape of brushing and dusting, and, even then, we were
-never clean and never tidy. And then, in addition to its other sins, if
-the abominable material did not begin to go into holes; all along the
-edges of the stairs tiny white spots showed where the under felt was
-working through, and before a year was out all the wretched stuff had to
-be removed, and replaced in the hall with dark brown linoleum and rugs;
-and on the stairs by Pither’s beautiful dark-blue blossom-patterned
-Brussels carpet, which after a year’s hard wear looks really better than
-it did the first day it was put down; and I can never understand how
-anyone can ever recommend felt, as I am convinced it is absolutely
-worthless as a floor-covering, and that nothing can make it at all
-satisfactory; and as I still see it in shops, and notice it pressed on
-the attention of those about to furnish, I consider it my duty to warn
-my readers against it, for if they succumb to its fascinating
-appearance, they will inevitably suffer from its possession in the same
-way that I did.</p>
-
-<p>Another thing I most strongly advise my readers to possess themselves
-of, if in any way they can, is a really<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_31" id="page_31"></a>{31}</span> good stair-carpet. There should
-be no fidgety border or differently coloured pattern on them to attract
-the eye and tease the brain, but there should be merely a simple pattern
-in the lighter shade on a darker ground; this always looks well, and at
-the same time does not tire one as an accentuated pattern invariably
-does. I therefore recommend Pither’s excellent Brussels and Wilton pile
-carpets, 27 inches wide, the one at 4<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, the other at 7<i>s.</i>
-<i>3d.</i> the yard, for they are absolutely faultless, both in design and
-colour, and can be as absolutely relied on both for wear and appearance.
-Wallace &amp; Co.’s ‘Stella’ Brussels at 3<i>s.</i> 11<i>d.</i> would be nice, if
-expense is a very great object, and their Burmese carpet with a design
-on is also to be recommended, and no one can go wrong about their
-stair-carpets if they make a judicious selection from these four
-qualities and designs. I am perpetually asked for a really good artistic
-and satisfactory carpet at a very low price, but I as often reply, You
-might as well ask me to supply you with a really good diamond necklace
-for a few shillings, for such a thing does not exist. You can get very
-artistic-looking carpets for a little money; the Burmese carpet is
-ridiculously cheap and very satisfactory, but for real hard wear
-Brussels or pile must be chosen, and for a really good thing one must
-always pay; and it is far cheaper in the long run to buy what is really
-good than to be perpetually vexed at the wear and tear which invariably
-surprises and annoys us, come when it may. I therefore very strongly
-advise all who can to invest in really good stair-carpets, even if they
-content themselves with something far less expensive for the other
-rooms.</p>
-
-<p>Then, too, I should much like to impress on my readers that the hideous
-glass one usually finds ready for one, either each side of the front
-door, or else as elaborate fanlights over the doors in the passage,
-should be removed and replaced by cathedral glass in leaded squares, or
-by bottle-ends. If, however, this is impossible, though the expense is
-not great, and the effect thereof is admirable, let the grained and
-patterned glass be covered by a really excellent imitation of the
-cathedral glass. This is to be obtained from Graham &amp; Biddle, Graham
-House, Oxford Street, W., and is floated on glass in the same manner in
-which the ancient and much despised <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_32" id="page_32"></a>{32}</span>‘decalcomanie’ used to be managed,
-and really has quite a surprising effect; a third way would be to remove
-the glass and replace it with quite plain, clear glass, covered inside
-by a fluted curtain of good Madras muslin, in really artistic colours.
-No one who has not risen in rebellion against the builder’s arrangement
-of starred or patterned glass can imagine how immensely any place is
-improved by removing it altogether and replacing it with something else;
-and though this may appear a trifle to write about, I can assure you
-that it is only by strict attention to such trifles that one can produce
-an artistic whole, which shall be entirely and absolutely satisfactory
-in every way. And, after all, these small matters cost far less than the
-elaborately draped curtains, the fitted carpets, the giant sideboards,
-and the other expensive monstrosities against which I am always waging
-war.</p>
-
-<p>To be really perfect, the hall should be a square space in the centre of
-the house, where a big fire could blaze in winter, and masses of flowers
-could greet the incoming guest when dear, delightful summer makes fires
-unnecessary; and naturally such a hall would require very different
-treatment to the ordinary long and narrow passage; but if the staircase
-sweeps out of the hall I should still suggest my arches here. They would
-hide the stairs&mdash;never very lovely objects at the best of times&mdash;and
-obscure the glimpses of ascending and descending legs, which, especially
-in the long-dead days of crinolines, made going up or down stairs a
-penance indeed to any one who had to perform the ascent and descent in
-the face of a numerous company gathered in the hall, besides which a
-sense of snugness would be given to the whole place, which it could
-never have were that open space left unprotected, stretching up into the
-air!</p>
-
-<p>As a rule, the square hall should be treated, as far as mere
-wall-decoration goes, in the same manner as the passages which lead out
-of it are treated, but here it would be quite in character, were fresh
-colours introduced, or the style of decoration reversed: that is to say,
-if the dado, which is imperative in a narrow passage, were replaced by
-the same decoration used as a frieze, taking care only that the colours
-should harmonise: for example, supposing the passages themselves were
-decorated in brown and gold, the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_33" id="page_33"></a>{33}</span> brown being the ‘Kenesaw’ design
-printed on real brown paper by Essex &amp; Co., Albert Mansions, Victoria
-Street, S.W., at five shillings and sixpence the piece, the dados being
-of a really good and strong gold Japanese leather paper, the inner or
-square hall could be papered in the same manner, using, however, the
-Japanese gold paper as a frieze; the frieze-rail could be Giles’ picture
-and china rail, holding big jugs and blue and white china of all kinds,
-and thus a charming effect would be obtained suitable for the squareness
-of the hall, and yet harmonising absolutely with the passages which lead
-out of it.</p>
-
-<p>In such a hall as this the ceiling should be divided into squares; this
-can be done quite easily nowadays by a series of laths or mouldings made
-on purpose; this is nailed into the laths above the ceiling with long
-thin nails. A very good moulding made on purpose is sold by Messrs.
-Haines &amp; Co., 83 Queen Victoria Street, E.C., at about one penny a foot,
-and the squares thus made are filled either with a good ceiling paper or
-else by an admirably decorative material, exactly like moulded plaster,
-also sold by Haines, and called anaglypta; this costs about 2<i>l.</i> for a
-good-sized ceiling, and when up all should have a coat of ivory silicate
-paint, or else of the invaluable and admirable Aspinall enamel, also in
-ivory, for though builders may argue, and decorators implore, for a
-heavier and more ornate system of treating the ceiling and cornice, I
-cannot too emphatically condemn any colouring being introduced into the
-ceiling and surrounding plaster work in lines, and distracting contrasts
-of colour, thus bringing the ceiling down on our heads, depressing one
-dreadfully, and all too often bringing into notice much which would be
-better left to obscurity.</p>
-
-<p>But my readers must not imagine from the above that I am recommending
-for one moment the ordinary ugly white-wash, the mere appearance of
-which ruins any room, or that I am ceasing to love the much-recommended
-papered ceiling&mdash;indeed I am not. Colour of some kind is necessary there
-as well as anywhere else, but the colour must be ivory, or faint
-terra-cotta, green, blue, or yellow, and must not be daubed on by the
-heavy hand of the decorator revelling in golds, and reds, and blues in
-bewildering confusion, and even introducing dreadful real or imitation
-oak beams, all well enough in houses where they are part<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_34" id="page_34"></a>{34}</span> of the fabric,
-and have the sentiment and beauty of age to defend their existence, but
-absolutely indefensible in an ordinary London house or small suburban
-villa, as indefensible as is old oak furbished up in Tottenham Court
-Road and made ghastly with sticky, varnished paint or stain, when placed
-in a house that has the nineteenth century and speculative builder
-written large all over it, in the bulging walls, its vilely drawn lines,
-and its rawness and newness and vulgarity of style.</p>
-
-<p>For it is no use attempting to have a pretty house unless we are
-absolutely strong-minded, and begin by forbidding the decorator to do
-anything but what he is told to do; and it is much wiser to write down
-exactly at the commencement of our decorations ‘precept on precept,’
-‘line upon line,’ ‘word by word,’ for each room, exactly what we wish
-the room to be arranged like, putting on paper the name and number of
-the wall paper, the colour of the paint, and in fact every single thing,
-so that at the end there can be no mistake; and above all we must not be
-persuaded out of our own ideas by the builder or by the upholsterer, or
-by anyone at all, once we have made up our minds what we intend to have,
-for we may be quite sure that if we are we shall repent it for ever
-after. I am often much disappointed to find, after I have taken real and
-elaborate pains to tell people exactly how their houses should be
-decorated, that they have allowed themselves to be talked over by the
-builder or the decorator, and that in consequence I am again sent for
-(at double the expense of course), to tell them how to get over, or in
-some measure mitigate the horrors that have been perpetrated. ‘It is
-such a nuisance to run from shop to shop getting all the different
-papers,’ says one, ‘and the builder had almost the same sort of design
-in his book, and said his hung much better than those you recommend.’
-‘Oh! we hadn’t time,’ says another, ‘and so we left it to the builder,
-and now, please, dear Mrs. Panton, do help us again, for the house does
-look horrid, and we cannot think why,’ and of course I go, and could
-weep, really weep, over the waste of money, time, and material which
-would all have been saved had they handed the builder my written plan of
-decorations and told him that that, and that only, was to be the order
-for the work.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_35" id="page_35"></a>{35}</span></p>
-
-<p>And decoration is really so easy nowadays, that, like moving, it need
-only be done slowly and in order to be an absolute success. All that is
-required from the builder is the plan of each room, you then write to
-the paper manufacturer for as many pieces of paper at so much, so many
-yards for the dados or frieze; this is ascertained by simply measuring
-round the room with a tape; to Aspinall for so much paint (a gallon at
-25<i>s.</i> does quite a large room), and then having collected your
-materials set to work. The painter has not to exercise his genius (?) or
-discretion (?) at all, he has simply to do as he is told; and, this
-being understood, one is spared the endless discussions with the
-builder, who wants to sell you some of the reams of hideous paper he has
-bought wholesale, and for a mere song, at a clearing-out sale of the
-‘Chamber of Horrors’ of some paper-manufacturer, and who makes a great
-parade of the printed prices at the back of the sheets, trusting that
-you are innocent of the knowledge that on all papers the regular
-discount is 33 per cent., and that his own particular stock has been
-purchased at almost waste-paper prices, because the manufacturer was
-only too pleased to get rid of what ordinary upholsterers and decorators
-had absolutely refused to take up; and who is persuasive and pleading,
-and finally impertinent, when he discovers he has an adept to deal with,
-and not one of the numerous victims erstwhile so easily bullied or
-fatigued into putting up almost anything he shows them in order to get
-rid of and see the last of him.</p>
-
-<p>I think the hall and passage are good spots in which to once more
-enforce the above details, for all should be done at the beginning, at
-the entrance as it were, or else the worry and disappointments will be
-endless; therefore I cannot consider the disquisition in which I have
-indulged out of place, and I feel I cannot too much or too often impress
-on my readers the absolute necessity of being sure what they want
-themselves before sending for the decorator; he must only be the hands
-to execute the work; and he must be absolutely silent about colours and
-patterns of paper if the house is to be a success at all. There are
-several other schemes of decoration that are absolutely successful in a
-hall, which were not spoken of in ‘From Kitchen to Garret,’ and which
-can be mentioned here before passing away from the hall altogether,
-although there are several<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_36" id="page_36"></a>{36}</span> things still to be said about it; and,
-indeed, as in all that regards decoration, it is an absolutely
-inexhaustible subject, as new and pretty things appear daily, and good
-combinations of colour are constantly suggesting themselves to the
-decorative mind. For the ordinary long dark passage, I would suggest
-that yellow and white should be used, nut-brown taking the place of
-white should there be very much traffic in the place, or should there be
-necessity for a certain amount of economy; very small halls look nice
-with Pither’s ‘special’ yellow and white berry paper, at 2<i>s.</i> a piece;
-a matting dado in plain white with all ivory paint, and Maple’s yellow
-and white ceiling paper, at 4<i>d.</i> a piece; the matting dado being
-replaced by Liberty’s nut-brown arras cloth, at 9¾<i>d.</i> a yard, and all
-‘nut-brown’ paint, where it is considered desirable to have a darker
-arrangement than would be obtained by the ivory and white. The arras is
-very wide, 54 inches, and would in consequence cover a much larger
-wall-space than the matting does, neither is it so difficult to manage
-as is matting, but both should be secured at the bottom by upholsterer’s
-tacks, and at the top by a light wooden rail, sold by Haines, of 83
-Queen Victoria Street, E.C., at something under 1<i>d.</i> a foot. This
-should be screwed to the wall, and could be removed, arras, or matting
-and all at any time, which it could not be were ordinary nails employed,
-and a simple (and hideous) paper dado could replace the more expensive
-‘properties,’ were the owner to remove and wish to take the dado with
-him, a plain paper-dado and a tidy wall being all that could be demanded
-of him by his landlord; beauty and æstheticism are not in the bond that
-exists between him and his tenant.</p>
-
-<p>Another arrangement would be Pither’s beautiful ‘Buttercup, C,’ at 3<i>s.</i>
-a piece, and yellow matting dado, and all ‘Mandarin’ paint, and a
-ceiling paper in red and cream; the ‘berry,’ at 1<i>s.</i>, would do quite
-well with either of these schemes. Pither’s dull red pile carpet would
-be best for the stairs; and a good many Oriental rugs should be about
-the hall. Any draperies over the doors should be the dull red ‘Elvira’
-tapestry, sold by Wallace, or of Mandarin yellow serge, this, of course,
-being much cheaper than the ‘Elvira’ brocade, which is 9<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, as
-against the 1<i>s.</i> 11½<i>d.</i> of the ever useful serge.</p>
-
-<p>If yellow should be objected to&mdash;and nothing is so useful<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_37" id="page_37"></a>{37}</span> or so
-successful in a dark passage&mdash;blue should be the next colour to be
-thought about, and Liberty’s blue tulip damasque is a most valuable
-paper for a blue hall. This is only 2<i>s.</i> a piece, and ‘hangs’
-splendidly, and a very original effect would be produced by this paper,
-a high dado of red and gold leather paper, and all dull red paint; the
-red of the paint to match the curious dull-lacquered appearance of the
-red in the Japanese leather paper; the stair carpet should be red, and
-the ceiling paper yellow and white; as a rule Maple’s ceiling paper, at
-4<i>d.</i> a piece, is quite good enough for anything; but if people do not
-mind spending a little more money, Haines has a charming ceiling paper
-at 3<i>s.</i>, in yellow and white, which, being of a more geometrical and
-better design in every way, would be perfect for ceilings, although, as
-I said before, where money is an object, the yellow and white ceiling
-paper is all that is absolutely necessary, and really answers remarkably
-well.</p>
-
-<p>Should a red hall be desired, Pither’s ‘Buttercup, B,’ at 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>,
-cannot be improved upon. Cream or else ‘Scindered’ paint should be used;
-a red and white matting for the dado, not a check matting, but one which
-has a red line in it, and dark blue art carpet on the floor, blue and
-white ceiling paper&mdash;Maple, 4<i>d.</i> a piece. Any draperies should be
-either blue or red, and the ever-useful Khelims would show off admirably
-in a house arranged and decorated in this way, for their Eastern
-colourings would appear to advantage against the red and cream walls.
-This is a bold decoration, but one that looks extremely well, as does
-even a bolder arrangement, consisting of the ‘Buttercup, B,’ all
-malachite-green stained woodwork, a dull green matting dado, Burr &amp;
-Elliott’s (Oxford Street, W.) dull green cocoa-nut matting on the hall
-and stairs, dull green and white ceiling paper, and draperies of
-malachite-green serge. All the furniture should be Armitage’s stained
-green wooden furniture, his high-backed little settle being particularly
-adapted for use in a hall, where no more furniture should be allowed
-than is absolutely necessary, unless the hall can, by reason of its size
-and design, be used as a room, and treated and furnished like one.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot and never do recommend either a terra-cotta or real green wall;
-the latter is such a nondescript and uncertain colour that the use of it
-in the entrance appears to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_38" id="page_38"></a>{38}</span> me to strike the keynote to the character of
-the inhabitants, who are thus pronounced uncertain in their ideas, and
-not particularly satisfactory, and there are so many ‘builder’s horrors’
-in the shape of dull, gloomy terra-cotta papers that inexperienced folks
-are apt to buy simply because the pure word ‘terra-cotta’ implies to a
-certain class of mind that the paper is artistic and high art, that I am
-impelled to taboo terra-cotta altogether at once; but if Liberty’s
-‘tulip’ and ‘marigold’ damasque papers are bought a terra-cotta wall may
-be indulged in, though I can never pronounce this as totally
-satisfactory as are the red, blue, and yellow and brown walls. If the
-terra-cotta is selected, I advise ivory paint; if that cannot be
-indulged in, a shade of dull green should be chosen to harmonise with
-the terra-cotta, and the dado should be either green matting or else of
-green and gold (<i>dull</i> green and gold, please!) Japanese leather paper;
-the stair carpet should be green, and so should the draperies and
-ceiling paper.</p>
-
-<p>A green wall could be arranged by using Liberty’s green and silver
-‘tulip’ damasque, at 2<i>s.</i>, and dull green paint, and a pale green
-matting dado, Pither’s dark red carpet, and dark red draperies, the red
-and cream ‘berry’ for ceiling, or else terra-cotta draperies, and the
-‘Stella’ stair carpet from Wallace. This hall would be artistic; but a
-cooler effect, and one that would be specially adapted for a hot hall,
-one into which much sun pours, would be obtained by using the green and
-silver paper, sea-green paint, and all pale green draperies, and a green
-carpet, using white and green muslin on the windows, and any white and
-green china to hold flowers and plants that one can find.</p>
-
-<p>Once the papering and painting are done and the stair-carpets are down
-and the draperies are up, serious attention must be given to the trifles
-which appear scarcely worth seeing to, but on which depend so much, and
-which I have spoken about in the beginning of this chapter; for it is of
-no use to put charming papers on our walls if we leave hideous glass in
-the doors, or allow our staircase windows to glare at us with strips of
-yellow, blue, and red glass for edges round a starred centre, in a
-manner found even in these artistic days in houses where people should
-presumably know better; and I therefore repeat my advice to my readers
-to look out for the trifles, and never to rest until all they possess
-has some beauty to excuse its existence.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_39" id="page_39"></a>{39}</span></p>
-
-<p>Perhaps the most tiresome thing in the orthodox hall is the ordinary
-long staircase window; but this can be improved at very small cost if a
-little artistic talent is brought to bear upon it. If it can be afforded
-in any way the window can be made beautiful by filling it in with
-cathedral glass in leaded squares, and about three or four really good
-medallions in stained glass could be hung about. These can be procured
-from Mr. Pither, 38 Mortimer Street, Regent Street, W. A wide shelf
-should be placed at the bottom of the window, and china could be
-arranged there. On the landing could be placed a tall grandfather clock,
-in such a way that the face faces the hall, and, if there is room, a big
-palm in a stand adds much to the effect. This would obviate any
-necessity for draperies, always rather difficult to keep clean in this
-exalted situation. If this arrangement is too expensive, a wooden arch
-should be placed round the top of the window, and the woodwork should
-taper down each side to the bottom of the window (illustrated in Fig.
-3), and a soft silk drapery should be caught up on one side. This is
-confined by a cord, passed over a nail, which can be loosened by
-releasing the cord; the curtain then falls over the windows, and either
-obscures the sunshine or the darkness, according to whether it is
-lowered at night or day, although I should personally prefer to leave it
-draped and to hang a lamp up in the arch, which could be lighted at
-night. Plants or china could be arranged along the ledge, and make a
-charming picture out of what is usually an intensely ugly spot.</p>
-
-<p>Another great difficulty is the usual London landing half-way up-stairs,
-where sometimes a couple of chairs are put, on which no one ever sits,
-flanked by a table no one ever dusts or by a couple of palms everyone
-forgets to water. Here a really clear brain is required to cope with the
-difficulties; and I have had a sketch done by a friend of mine, who has
-made a perfectly charming corner out of this generally hideous spot,
-which I hope will speak for itself, and shows what can be made out of a
-similar landing with trouble and a good deal of really artistic feeling.
-In this same house the second door to the drawing-room, which is never
-used and only looks frightful to those who come up the stairs and see
-this door first of all, is turned into a cabinet, where various
-old-fashioned fans and curiosities<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_40" id="page_40"></a>{40}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_3" id="ill_3"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-040_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-040_sml.jpg" width="275" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 3.&mdash;Staircase Window." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 3.&mdash;Staircase Window.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_41" id="page_41"></a>{41}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_4" id="ill_4"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-041_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-041_sml.jpg" width="292" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 4.&mdash;A London Landing." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 4.&mdash;A London Landing.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_42" id="page_42"></a>{42}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">generally are kept, the sunken space between the wall and the door
-itself being amply deep enough for this purpose; and as all doors can be
-made to open into a room, the deep space can always be on the passage
-side, the flat side being in the room itself and hidden by a straight
-curtain, or, by a still simpler process, by taking off all the
-mouldings, handles, &amp;c., and papering straight over the door, just as if
-it were a portion of the wall itself.</p>
-
-<p>The simple over-doors, sold by so many furniture houses nowadays, should
-be placed over the doors, in most houses, in the hall, or else pictures
-should be hung there; and, indeed, one cannot have too many good
-pictures anywhere. If real paintings and excellent proof engravings are
-not to be afforded, do let me beg of my readers to indulge themselves in
-autotypes or photographs from really good pictures. These look specially
-well in a hall, and naturally do not serve as dust traps, as do far too
-many of the Japanese ornaments, fans, skins, and trophies of the chase,
-which are usually considered appropriate to this remarkably dusty and
-trying situation. Pictures can be dusted daily; other ornaments require
-more time and attention, though naturally one would rather have these
-than nothing, if one cannot afford pictures, in this spot, while the
-over-doors finish off the hall, and can have the five or six china
-ornaments, which look well and can be regularly dusted with a long
-feather brush and duly washed once a week when the hall is entirely
-turned out.</p>
-
-<p>I most strongly advise the hall to be warmed in some way if it can
-possibly be managed, and I must own that I never can understand why
-houses are built year after year without this simple but most important
-convenience. One need not use a stove because one has it, but it should
-never be out of one’s power to thoroughly warm the house should one wish
-to do so, and I look forward to a day I have often spoken of, when women
-shall qualify as architects, and shall turn their hands entirely to
-domestic architecture. Until then I suppose we must go on grumbling and
-putting up with grateless halls, cupboardless houses, and rooms where no
-provision at all has been made for placing a bed or arranging furniture
-with common sense, to say nothing of artistic grouping, that of course
-is absolutely impossible in the ordinary square recessless house with
-which we are now so very liberally provided by the male architect!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_43" id="page_43"></a>{43}</span></p>
-
-<p>But if in any way possible have a grate put into the hall, or else some
-kind of stove; of course a grate means a chimney, and this is not always
-forthcoming when wanted, but a grate is much to be preferred; in the
-first place it can mean a pretty mantel and over-mantel, and cheerful
-blazes in winter, and pretty flowers in summer; and in the second, the
-warmth it gives is separable from the fumes and stuffy feeling that one
-always finds with a stove, no matter how good it is. Then, too, a stove
-is hideous, it can’t help being so, and it is frankly frightful; still,
-if warmth cannot be got into a hall in any other way, a stove must be
-used, and I think the one sold by Mr. Pither in Mortimer Street, the
-‘Eclipse,’ is as good as any; it burns a long time without any
-attention, and costs very little indeed&mdash;I think something like twopence
-for the twelve hours.</p>
-
-<p>The reason why I impress upon my readers the necessity of a stove is
-that I cannot believe but that we should be saved an immense amount of
-illness were we yet more particular about an equal temperature than we
-are. As a rule our rooms are fairly warm, but in the winter our passages
-are like ice, they cannot help being so; windows must be opened and the
-outer doors cannot be kept hermetically sealed, and the moment we leave
-our fireside or the rooms where we have fires, we get a sudden chill
-which cannot fail to try us terribly, even if it results in nothing
-worse; besides which a fearful cold draught comes into our sitting-room
-the moment the doors are open, and we shiver and throw on more
-coal&mdash;coal that we should not require were the hall warmed as it ought
-to have been, and which would allow us to even leave our sitting-room
-door open should we desire to do so. Now our first exclamation to an
-incoming friend is: ‘Oh, please shut the door!’ and we dismiss him or
-her with the same pleasing but necessary injunction.</p>
-
-<p>I was delighted to see in one of the papers the other day that there had
-been a most remarkable diminution in that fatal scourge of our
-ancestresses&mdash;consumption; for I am certain this is entirely due to the
-fact that we are far more sensible about our clothing, and much more
-lavish about firing, than our fathers used to be; and I feel convinced,
-were we to have still more fires, and were we to taboo low<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_44" id="page_44"></a>{44}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_5" id="ill_5"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-044_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-044_sml.jpg" width="289" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 5.&mdash;Hall Wardrobe (No. 1)." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 5.&mdash;Hall Wardrobe (No. 1).</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_45" id="page_45"></a>{45}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_6" id="ill_6"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-045_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-045_sml.jpg" width="246" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 6.&mdash;Hall Wardrobe (No. 2)." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 6.&mdash;Hall Wardrobe (No. 2).</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_46" id="page_46"></a>{46}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">dresses entirely, consumption would soon be a thing of the past.
-Therefore I cannot, I feel, say too much about the necessity for a stove
-or fire in the hall, which is certainly neither complete nor sensible
-without this most necessary piece of furniture; but I suppose we must
-await our lady architect before these are universal, or before we get a
-really perfect house, from a woman’s point of view at least. The
-furniture of the hall must depend entirely on its length and breadth,
-but once more I beg my readers not to allow of anything approaching the
-appearance of the ordinary ugly hat stand there; if Edwin will not
-remove his hideous hats and very ugly coats upstairs, Angelina must
-conciliate him by having one of the hall wardrobes illustrated here. The
-first one could go into a corner behind the door, and could be painted
-to match the decorations, or else could be of either American walnut or
-oak; the curtains could be of serge worked over in a decorative design
-in coarse crewels, or else of some pretty tapestry. Complete in art
-colours with serge curtains it costs 3<i>l.</i> 3<i>s.</i>, in walnut 4<i>l.</i> 18<i>s.</i>
-6<i>d.</i>; the straight one costs 5<i>l.</i> 15<i>s.</i> in art colours, and 6<i>l.</i>
-6<i>s.</i> in walnut; but for the impecunious, and, alas! there are many
-among us, a V-shaped piece of wood could be put into the corner and
-screwed there with a straight piece to make a front, from which the
-curtain should hang down straight; behind this a V-shaped shelf could be
-placed for hats, and some hooks could be screwed on the wall for coats;
-but if in any way possible the real thing should be bought&mdash;it could be
-moved to any other house and would last a life-time. These designs are
-made by Wallace of the Curtain Road, where these capital hall wardrobes
-are to be had, and which will, I trust, strike a death-blow to the
-old-fashioned stands, which were as ugly as they were temptations to the
-ordinary area-sneak to come in and help himself to any coat or hat he
-takes a fancy to. Instead of the ordinary hall table I again suggest the
-buffet, illustrated on page 28; nothing looks better, and if a carriage
-is kept the oak chest, which can be opened like a cupboard, could hold
-the rugs, while the top could be ornamented with china and hold a big
-Imari bowl for cards, and a smaller one for the cards left during the
-afternoon or letters sent by post; a couple of chairs and the
-high-backed settle spoken of before would be ample for any ordinary
-hall,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_47" id="page_47"></a>{47}</span> where there should be, furthermore, a good mat at the front door,
-but no small mats in each doorway or dreadful woolly mats about, things
-which are quite unnecessary and are as ugly as they are tiresome.</p>
-
-<p>It is absolutely necessary that, whether artistic or not, the hall
-should be scrupulously tidy and as scrupulously clean; and I do not know
-a more difficult thing than to insist on the former of these two axioms,
-and to see one’s orders are carried out, especially when there are boys
-and dogs&mdash;those two fatal elements to tidiness and cleanliness, but
-which are absolutely necessary to the making of a complete house. One
-may go out leaving a spotless place, with no <i>débris</i> to offend the eye,
-but one returns to find it scattered over with hats and caps, tennis
-rackets, bats and stumps, paw and footmarks, and a general air of
-distracting dirt all over, that is absolutely trying to the eye, that
-fondly hopes to see what it left; and the only way to cope with the
-human element is to make a species of pound, into which all is put, and
-from whence nothing can be extracted without the payment of some small
-fine. I have known a week’s pocket money go in one morning, but, as a
-rule, very few lessons are required; the unfailing exactment of a fine
-teaching even a boy that there is a place for everything and that
-everything must be put in that place. The dogs and footmarks have to be
-put up with, and I have known an unhappy kitchenmaid wash the front
-doorsteps five single times in one day, when the boys have been at home,
-and rain has, as is usual in Watford, been falling dismally. A back
-staircase is another thing no house should be built without. This spares
-the hall immensely, and saves the best stair-carpet, and prevents one
-meeting the servants as one goes up and down&mdash;a thing I personally very
-much object to. I don’t know why, but I resent hearing them go up to bed
-past the drawing-room door, and owe our present house yet another
-grudge, because, for the first time in our lives, we have here no second
-staircase. If there should be one, I again advise the oilcloth dado
-spoken of in my former book; nothing is so absolutely indestructible, or
-so clean, and with this dado a wall would remain tidy and spotless for
-an entire lifetime. A strong cocoanut matting should be put down on the
-stairs themselves, but the edges of the stairs should be carefully<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_48" id="page_48"></a>{48}</span>
-inspected, as back stairs, especially, are apt to be very roughly
-finished off; if this is the case, a carpenter should be called in,
-either to plane them smoothly, or mend them, or a wide, broad piece of
-brass should bind the edges; these, again, should have a pad of flock in
-a thin lining laid along them, finally covered with the cocoanut
-matting. These small precautions will not cost very much, but will
-certainly add immensely to the chances of the longevity of the carpets.
-It would be a good thing to have the ‘treads’ of the back stairs grained
-and varnished; but those in the principal staircase should always be
-painted white with Aspinall’s water-paint. This gives an indescribably
-clean and fresh look to the stairs, and the paint is so easily applied
-that the housemaid could do it herself yearly, or whenever an
-opportunity offers to re-paint the treads. Housekeepers should, in my
-opinion, raise a statue to Aspinall, for he certainly has removed the
-difficulties that lay in wait for the would-be artistic mistress of the
-household; for now she is rendered quite independent of the British
-workman, and can either paint her house herself, or give it to a man who
-can be trusted to apply the paint, albeit no amount of instruction will
-teach him to match a colour or produce anything save a hideous
-caricature of the paper we give him, and whose ‘heye’ is absolutely
-incapable of seeing what a ridiculous muddle he is making; and I,
-therefore, cannot too often impress upon my readers, especially on those
-who live far from really artistic workpeople, that if they want their
-houses to be really nice, they must indulge in Aspinall, and must insist
-on the unbroken, unpicked-out surface of paint that use of this most
-invaluable enamel produces most satisfactorily.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_III" id="CHAPTER_III"></a>CHAPTER III.<br /><br />
-<small>NOOKS AND CORNERS.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I think</span> so very much of the appearance of our rooms depends on how we
-arrange our corners that I have had two large drawings made from corners
-in my present house,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_49" id="page_49"></a>{49}</span> which, at the risk of appearing egotistical, I am
-going to write about; not because I consider them perfect&mdash;no house can
-really be perfect unless far more money is spent upon it than I am able
-to spend&mdash;but because I consider they will in some measure assist those
-who, like myself, are very fond of pretty and comfortable things, but
-are not prepared to ruin themselves in order to obtain this most
-desirable combination. I wrote so fully in my former book on the
-arrangement of sitting-rooms that I am only going to touch lightly on
-the orthodox papering and painting of dining-, drawing-, and
-morning-rooms, reserving all my new ideas for the billiard-room and
-library, neither of which rooms were considered likely to be required
-for the modest young couple starting in life, for whom I more
-particularly designed that special volume.</p>
-
-<p>As I said before, this book is intended for older folks, or for those
-who have more of this world’s goods than Edwin and Angelina were
-supposed to possess; and, therefore, it really supplements&mdash;it does not
-in any measure do away with&mdash;‘From Kitchen to Garret;’ and as I am most
-anxious to impress this upon my readers by not repeating any of the
-information I gave there, I intend especially in the present chapter to
-denote how, with a little care, the modest house can be expanded into a
-more artistic abode, or how a bigger house can be furnished, the while
-we do not set on one side the furniture with which we began life, and
-which we possessed ourselves of with so much gladness and with such a
-sense of importance&mdash;at least, I hope all my readers did, for the
-culture of home and of all that makes a home cannot, in my opinion, be
-too much developed. Therefore, from their earliest days children should
-be encouraged to think about their own special rooms, and should be
-taught to notice and have a voice in the arrangement of all the house.
-If the house is thoroughly appreciated and cultivated, if, above all, it
-is the prettiest and happiest place our children know of, we shall not
-have much difficulty with them when they cease to be children and begin
-to feel they have a separate existence to ours. They have this separate
-existence, and we should endeavour that, without in any measure relaxing
-the ties of duty and politeness, they should be able to feel they are
-themselves and not our bond-slaves; and this can only be done by
-consulting and talking<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_50" id="page_50"></a>{50}</span> with them freely about all we have and do,
-letting them, if they will, develop their own tastes gradually, but not
-in a manner that will oust us from our proper place or jar with any of
-our own pet ideas on the subject of home and its decoration and
-embellishment; for it is better to endure the ugliest place in the world
-cheerfully than to live in artistic completeness, if this same artistic
-completeness means sweeping away all the landmarks of our elders and
-betters, and leaving them stranded in an unfamiliar world of new tables
-and chairs, which are nothing to them, and but ill replace the furniture
-which reminds them of so much that we never knew about or have entirely
-forgotten. I have known a girl in her zeal for beauty make her mother so
-abjectly miserable by removing a round table, once the centre of the
-scattered houseful of boys and girls, and by ruthlessly disposing of
-clumsy and hideous furniture, made precious by memories of those who
-have gone into the land of shadows, that I am compelled at times to
-allow sentiment to sway me and to say, Consider first whether a thing
-has associations before, in one’s anxiety for beauty, one does away with
-it. If it have, let it remain, for nothing can ever replace it; but if
-it have not (and I sternly myself refuse to become sentimental over a
-chair or footstool), by all means get rid of it, and replace it with
-something lighter and more modern. As a rule, this will not last long
-enough for us to cling round it mentally or to deck it with any of the
-finer sentiment that is inseparable from much of the heavy mahogany and
-walnut under which so many of my disciples still groan, and which has
-been handed down from one generation to another, each generation
-becoming more and more discontented with it, until the present are in
-open revolt against that which gave our grandmothers and
-great-grandmothers the greatest possible gratification to possess.</p>
-
-<p>The pretty corners in which we all delight, and the lightness and
-brightness that now characterise our houses, would have been the source
-of endless woe and trouble to the dear ladies of old. The corners would
-have meant dust and ‘gimcracks,’ and as the light colours in which we
-revel would and do soon become soiled, they, too, would have been
-deprecated because they showed the dirt, which was present equally in
-the darker rooms, but not being visible was not taken any notice of
-until the annual clean,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_51" id="page_51"></a>{51}</span> when all was made aggressively shining and
-absolutely spotless, remaining so for about a week, when dust began to
-gather again, but it was unnoticed because the dark materials did not
-show the dirt, which, however, could be felt, did our finger come in
-contact with the rough moreen or dismal repps in which their souls
-delighted, and of which specimens still haunt us in the houses of those
-who are possessors of similar heirlooms with which they dare not part.</p>
-
-<p>Then, too, the dear ladies were so fond of stuffing up their windows and
-darkening their rooms still more by the drawing down of blinds and the
-eliminating of every morsel of sunshine, for fear their precious carpets
-would become faded; and I am sorry to say that this affection for
-half-dark rooms yet lingers among many who ought to know better. But
-when I stumble into one of these rooms, where one cannonades against the
-furniture and falls over footstools in the half-light, I always feel
-convinced that the blinds are drawn to prevent the sun beating too
-warmly on the faded complexion of the owner of that house, or to hide
-the ravages of time, that the liberally applied pearl-powder and rouge
-and the sticky harsh dye are powerless to remove entirely, but that
-almost disappear in the rose-tinted chambers I so abhor and despise; and
-I therefore know what to expect when I am ushered into one of these
-stuffy, dismal rooms, and am thankful when I get out of it; for the mind
-that can delight in defying age with paint and dye is not likely to find
-me of the smallest use. I should say at once, Do away with the blinds
-and shorten the curtains, and let in some air; and as the owner of that
-house would sooner dye&mdash;I mean die&mdash;than accede to my request, I have
-nothing to say to her, and get away as soon as I can. Any amount of
-decoration for the house I like and appreciate, but I cannot appreciate
-or understand the ambition that makes one Aspinall one’s face and
-pretend to be five-and-twenty when one knows one will never see forty
-again.</p>
-
-<p>Corners are especially appreciated, unfortunately, by the ladies who
-draw their blinds down and never face the eye of day save in a carriage,
-with a spotted veil over their features and a shading parasol, and no
-doubt some of these individuals will look at the pictures in this book
-and may see these words of wisdom; if they do, I hope they will consider
-them, wash<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_52" id="page_52"></a>{52}</span> their faces, and pull up their blinds. I can assure them
-they will be far happier and healthier, more especially if they realise
-that the time they spend in tiring their heads and painting their faces
-is absolutely wasted&mdash;it neither makes them younger nor more
-ornamental&mdash;and that it would be far better employed in working for
-others, or in making their homes as cheerful as unfailing sunshine and
-fresh air invariably do. Therefore, down with the curtains and up with
-the blinds, and let us have as much cheerful sunshine as this rather
-disappointing climate will allow us to possess, and the first corner I
-would make is the summer corner, for, that once made, dismal darkness
-and stuffiness would be an impossibility.</p>
-
-<p>The special corner illustrated here is one of the windows in my present
-morning-room, which is at the end of the room, in a curious species of
-square nook to itself; there is an enormous species of bow-window
-beside, where I have my desk and other belongings, and beyond that again
-is a third window, below which I have a long book-case full of books;
-but though this window is to some extent unique, the seat illustrated
-here, which is an adaptation or rather an enlargement of Giles’ ‘Cosy
-Corner,’ could be put under any window and of course enlarged immensely;
-if desired, it could go across one side of the room, and the arm with a
-curtain could come out straight from the wall of the room, thus making a
-sheltered place in which to sit and read; and breaking up admirably the
-long straight look of the wall, which all too often makes an ordinary
-room the most uninteresting place in the world, and the most difficult
-to render artistic and pleasant. The right-hand side of the seat should
-be at least two feet longer than the left-hand side, or else the seat
-will look too much like a family pew, which cognomen one of my friends
-is rude enough to give to my present seat, but arranged with the ends of
-an uneven length, the seat looks like nothing save what it is&mdash;a
-remarkably comfortable lounge, where one can either sit and read or
-talk, and it forms an extremely pretty addition to any room.</p>
-
-<p>The special seat illustrated here is enamelled Aspinall’s electric
-turquoise, and is upholstered in Colbourne’s yellow and white Louis XVI.
-damask, at 2<i>s.</i> 11½<i>d.</i> a yard, but I intend soon to replace this
-covering by dark yellow stamped<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_53" id="page_53"></a>{53}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_7" id="ill_7"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-053_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-053_sml.jpg" width="314" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 7.&mdash;A Summer Corner." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 7.&mdash;A Summer Corner.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_54" id="page_54"></a>{54}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">corduroy velveteen, for, pretty as the Louis XVI. damask is, and
-admirable as it is for curtains and table-cloths, it does not answer for
-hard wear, and soon becomes soiled and rubbed, a fact Giles warned me
-about; but I was anxious to experiment myself on the subject; and having
-done so, and found it does not answer, here solemnly warn my readers
-from using this charming material for tight coverings or where real hard
-wear is expected of it. Tightly upholstered furniture should be always
-covered in something that will really wear, not only because of the
-expense, but because of the worry of having workmen always in the house
-replacing the furniture which has become soiled and worn.</p>
-
-<p>But whatever the seat is upholstered in, the fringe round the seat
-should not be forgotten, and it should almost touch the ground; mine
-does not, and in consequence the seat always has the appearance of
-having grown out of its frocks; and the material should be in some
-measure a contrast to the colour used for enamelling the ends and
-woodwork; indeed, I much prefer the ends, &amp;c., to be of some polished
-wood, while the straight piece above the seat and below the shelf could
-be either plainly painted or polished wood, or else it could be made of
-brocade or Japanese leather paper. Mr. Giles puts Lincrusta in those he
-sells to fit into recesses, but I cannot endure this stiff and very ugly
-material, and always ask him to replace it for me with something
-preferable, the excellent Japanese leather looking better, in my
-opinion, than anything else. The straight piece above the seat, if
-covered in brocade and furnished with tiny hooks, would make an
-admirable place to display the miniatures and odds and ends of silver
-that are so fashionable; really old and valuable fans could also be
-displayed here to advantage, and a thin sheet of talc could be stretched
-over all. Glass would be too heavy, and the talc would protect the fans,
-&amp;c., from dust, and yet be sufficiently transparent.</p>
-
-<p>The shelf for china is part of the seat: this is of wood, either
-enamelled or polished, and should be carefully arranged; the tall jar
-containing grasses at the end of the shelf in the sketch is really in
-the corner in my room, and fills up the space between the curtain and
-the wall, and in the opposite corner from the frieze-rail hangs one of
-Benson’s admirable copper lamps with a copper shade; this throws the
-light down on the seat, and enables one to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_55" id="page_55"></a>{55}</span> read there, should one wish
-to do so, the cushioned corner below the lamp being perhaps the most
-comfortable spot in the whole seat. Just on the other side of the arms,
-and below the top of them, I had small tea-cup shelves put; they shut
-down completely, and when not in use are scarcely visible, but they make
-a great deal of difference to one’s comfort; for one can rest one’s cup
-there easily, and in consequence this corner makes a favourite spot
-during the ceremony of afternoon tea, which we always hold in the
-morning-room, our present drawing-room being only used when lighted up,
-as it is dark and depressing, because of the numerous trees by which we
-are surrounded, and that make it unbearable until the lamps are lighted
-and the yellow and white decoration stands out in the admirable manner
-in which these two colours always do when once artificial light falls
-upon them.</p>
-
-<p>The big pillows are in yellow, deep-red, and electric turquoise, and
-were bought at Maple’s for 16<i>s.</i> 11<i>d.</i> each; but those who really
-possess numerous pillows, soft and comfortable enough to lean against,
-but hideous to contemplate, will be glad to hear that Maple sells these
-frilled silk covers ready to slip on, which would transform in a moment
-the most frightful pillow ever presented to an unfortunate bride, who
-yet dare not do away with the kind gift of a relative who may be has not
-gone with the times or holds the stern opinion that a gift one makes
-oneself is worth any amount of presents bought in a shop: so it is, if
-the work be present day work, and really artistic; but the beaded
-cushion or (the worst development of all) that covered with crazy
-patchwork, still exists unfortunately, and may exist, blamelessly and
-usefully, if slipped into one of these covers, which can be whipped off
-in a moment, should the donor appear unexpectedly, or be even pointed
-out as our pious endeavour to preserve the ‘beautiful’ work by a cover
-one does not mind if one spoils: an excellently plausible excuse that
-spares the feelings of the maker and our own sensitive optics at the
-same time.</p>
-
-<p>The curtain on my seat is hanging on a brass rod, and is made from a
-remarkably beautiful pattern of yellow and brown stamped velveteen known
-as the Graham velveteen, and sold by Graham &amp; Biddle; both sides of the
-curtain are alike, as I have doubled the material, and I am very<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_56" id="page_56"></a>{56}</span> fond
-of this special bit of colour and design; but if the velveteen is
-objected to, the curtain can be made from the soft artistic silk
-Shoolbred sells at 2<i>s.</i> a yard; this must be double too, and put on
-very full, or else it will soon become skimpy and flabby. The table at
-the end of the seat has a loose cover of dark-red Bokhara plush, a
-capital species of ribbed plush edged with ball fringe; this costs 6<i>s.</i>
-11½<i>d.</i> a yard from Colbourne, and it takes a yard and a quarter to make
-the square, which is necessary for one of these cloths; a big yellow pot
-holding a palm stands on the table, the palm giving place whenever
-possible to a flowering plant, a great white azalea, and a big white
-rose tree, and also an orange tree with flowers and fruit, and a
-flowering daphne having all appeared there to the greatest possible
-advantage. Beyond the curtain, at the extreme end of the seat, I hang a
-long Japanese bamboo, and have flowers here whenever possible. These
-bamboos are most decorative, and look nice with comparatively few
-flowers in them.</p>
-
-<p>On the other side of the seat, at the end, a palm stands on the low,
-square, velvet-covered stools I prefer to anything else for pot stands;
-and at the extreme end I always have one of Mrs. M‘Clelland’s admirable
-newspaper and magazine stands; these are the right height for use and
-stand on two crossed legs; one side takes papers and the other
-magazines; a paper-knife is slipped into a bracket at the side, and
-altogether the stand is a wonderful comfort, and above all makes an
-excellent present for a man&mdash;that most difficult of all creatures to
-give a present to, unless one half ruin oneself in order to make him an
-offering.</p>
-
-<p>The walls of this special room are covered with Mr. Smee’s admirable
-blue paper at 4<i>s.</i> the piece, all the paint is Aspinall’s
-electric-turquoise enamel, the frieze is plain gold Japanese leather
-paper, and the ceiling is in squares; the moulding that forms each
-square is coloured cream, and the squares themselves are filled in with
-a well-designed yellow and white ceiling paper from Mr. Smee’s at 3<i>s.</i>
-a piece; the floor is covered with yellow and white matting, and has
-several rugs lying about, and the curtains are Louis XVI. tapestry, in
-yellow and white, edged with the usual ball fringe&mdash;the smaller windows
-having this only, the larger one having ‘guipure vitrage’ on it as well.
-The frieze has been embellished most successfully in three or four<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_57" id="page_57"></a>{57}</span>
-places with great branches of Japanese-looking japonica in the natural
-colours; and this is an immense improvement, as one requires touches of
-red undoubtedly about the room. The branches do not go all round the
-room in the orthodox manner, but are scattered in three or four places,
-and are the work of an artist. A good effect can be obtained by merely
-outlining with a careful brush the patterns that are on all Japanese
-leather papers with a little ‘Scinde red.’ Of course this must not be
-done all over the frieze, but simply here and there, and should be
-executed with taste, and a great amount of common sense as well.</p>
-
-<p>Before I say any more about this room, or about the other corner which
-has been arranged for winter use, I want to draw the attention of my
-readers especially to the windows. My plan of doing away with blinds was
-illustrated as regards a bow window, and the tiny squares of the manor
-house windows before, but no one has ever seemed able to grasp the
-manner in which an ordinary flat window or a French window can be
-managed. This window is the ordinary flat window; and can anything be
-simpler than the white curtains of ‘guipure vitrage’ stretched on two
-slight rods fastened on the window <i>frame, not on the sash</i>? These
-curtains remain in place, whether the window is open or shut, and, in
-consequence, were they used in a bedroom, one could dress comfortably
-with the window open, the curtains remaining in place and serving as a
-blind. With the ordinary short blind, which vulgarises any house, and to
-which English house-mothers cling with a devotion worthy of a better
-cause, one must keep the windows closed during the process of dressing,
-as the blind goes up with the window, and leaves the room exposed to the
-glances of anyone who may be passing by. The thicker curtains hang from
-a separate brass rod, which is rather larger than those used for the
-muslin. These curtains are attached to rings which allow them to be
-drawn easily along the rods at night, and when the sun shines too warmly
-and brightly, and, therefore, no hideously ugly blinds are required; for
-even ladies whose dubious complexions forbid the free entrance of the
-blessed sun can make their rooms as dark as they like by drawing these
-curtains, which can be lined with a thick sateen, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_58" id="page_58"></a>{58}</span> should be edged
-with a ball fringe, to break the hard line which always spoils the look
-of any curtain when left untrimmed. ‘Guipure vitrage,’ which is to be
-had from Wallace, from 10¾<i>d.</i> a yard, makes admirable under curtains.
-Of course it is much dearer than Kay’s butter muslin, or his
-easily-draped Indian muslin at 2¾<i>d.</i> a yard. But then these muslins
-require making up, and must be edged with softly falling frills, which
-should be from 3 to 5 inches in width, according to the size of the
-window. These frills are put on without any heading, and fall in a sort
-of cascade. The frilled muslins sold now by the yard at any big shop are
-not nearly so satisfactory, as the frills are goffered, and are very
-stiff. Making the frilled curtains is a serious consideration: they must
-be done by hand, as the muslin will not stand the machine, and the
-hemming required is rather hard work, and therefore ‘guipure vitrage,’
-despite its price, should recommend itself to those who are not given to
-sewing. It merely requires hemming top and bottom, and the rods pass
-through these hems, which should be loose enough to allow of the curtain
-being moved to cover the window entirely, should this be necessary, or
-to part in the centre, so that any view there may be need not be
-obscured.</p>
-
-<p>In the ordinary London house, where all sorts of endeavours are made to
-completely hide the doings of the inhabitants of the rooms from the
-passers-by, these curtains, especially in the Indian muslin from Kay’s,
-are invaluable. No one can see in, and all can see out, while further
-protection could be obtained by flower boxes along the window-ledges in
-the summer, and put inside the rooms in the winter, if desired. A couple
-of iron brackets could be put out, one each side of the window,
-Aspinalled to match the rest of the paint, and on this the box could
-rest, full of flowering plants, when the weather outside would be too
-cold for them to live and flourish. The whole of the house should be
-done alike with the curtains, of which a double set should be made. The
-‘guipure vitrage’ must not be very much starched, and it must be
-carefully pulled out and stretched before it is quite dry, or else it
-will seem to have shrunk; but with care and proper washing these
-curtains would last three or four years, and, as there is no real
-trouble in making, should soon be the favourite material<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_59" id="page_59"></a>{59}</span> for these
-short curtains. The cost would be about 4<i>s.</i> a window, so that it would
-be easy for anyone to see what their house would cost them. Naturally
-the other muslin would come only to about 1<i>s.</i> a window; in this case
-the sewing must be done by the owner of the house or her maids.</p>
-
-<p>I think from this sketch anyone can see how the ordinary blindless
-window is managed; while the way to arrange a French window is shown in
-the frontispiece so plainly that no further description can possibly be
-needed.</p>
-
-<p>And now we come to the winter corner, the sketch of which requires very
-little comment from me, as I think it speaks for itself; but my readers
-may be interested to know that the sofa illustrated here began life as a
-wretched stiff sofa with a scroll end, and no side whatever, and was
-bought very cheaply of a country tradesman. When I wanted to make a
-comfortable seat by the fire, I got another local genius to put the
-scroll end upright, and to put on the side. This transformed the seat at
-once, and made a most comfortable lounge, more especially as I had the
-legs cut down, until it is only fourteen inches high, the seat being
-about twenty-four inches wide. This is a seat <i>pur et simple</i>; but by
-putting a couple of pillows on the end of the sofa nearest the wall and
-stuffing them comfortably down there, one makes an excellent rest for
-one’s head, and can lie there in warmth and peace. This corner, by the
-way, is a special favourite of Max, the tabby cat, who much resents
-being moved therefrom, and retreats in great dudgeon to a chair from
-Liberty, which stands the other side of the fireplace, which is only
-just indicated in the sketch, and which is a charming but simple design,
-from Shuffery in Welbeck Street.</p>
-
-<p>Behind the sofa stands the corner cabinet made for me by Mr. Smee, and
-which is just what such a cabinet ought to be. I have seen a corner
-cabinet which looked as if its middle had suddenly collapsed, the two
-sides going into a miserable point, which was as ugly as it was
-unsatisfactory, and I could not think what was the matter with it, until
-I discovered that the point ought to have been behind, and that the
-front should be comparatively straight, as in our illustration. This
-cabinet is enamelled electric<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_60" id="page_60"></a>{60}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_8" id="ill_8"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-060_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-060_sml.jpg" width="317" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 8.&mdash;A Winter Corner." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 8.&mdash;A Winter Corner.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_61" id="page_61"></a>{61}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">turquoise, and has brass handles to the drawers and cupboard, which are
-made for use, and hold an immense variety of things. The drawers are
-divided in half inside, which is a great convenience, as it enables one
-to keep papers and properties of all sorts and conditions separate and
-distinct; while the cupboard also has a shelf in it, and is the whole
-length and width of the bottom part, thus holding a good deal. The two
-little velveteen curtains are to break the monotony which would have
-been caused had the shelves been left open; and the top and shelves
-generally hold any quantity of china&mdash;the dull yellow and blue jars one
-buys at Gorringe’s being especially suitable for this room; as is the
-deep red Kaga and Imari ware imported in such quantities by Shoolbred,
-Liberty, and Whiteley, and indeed by almost every second shop nowadays.</p>
-
-<p>The table shown in this illustration is one that is remarkably useful by
-reason of its second tray. My own table is covered in dull yellow
-corduroy velveteen, edged with a ball fringe; but if room were a great
-object, and there were much to store away, a loose table-cloth, in serge
-or Bokhara plush, could be thrown over it to conceal anything that was
-hidden thereunder. I am not fond of these makeshifts myself; but in a
-small room, where every single inch is of consequence, work that would
-be perhaps unsightly to leave about can be neatly folded and put on this
-tray; and another place to put away could be afforded, if we replaced my
-fireside sofa (which Wallace will supply at 5<i>l.</i> 15<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> complete)
-by a sofa I saw at Hampton’s just lately. This is an improvement on the
-very useful box-ottomans I advocate in many bedrooms, and is much like a
-sofa with a tolerably high side and two ends; the top of the sofa lifts
-up, and discloses a good deep box, which would hold an immense quantity
-of things; while the whole affair does not look like a box-ottoman, but
-resembles a very comfortable and pretty sofa; this costs about 7<i>l.</i>
-17<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, and would be of immense use in a room where one had a
-great deal to put away, and very few convenient places to store one’s
-property in. This would stand where my sofa is in the sketch, or could
-be put in a recess one side of the fire; it would look well in either
-situation. I think this corner, too, gives some idea of how pictures can
-be hung about in an informal manner; although in every<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_62" id="page_62"></a>{62}</span> case these are
-represented in the sketch as being much higher than they really are;
-there is no formal arrangement, yet all seems to fall into place without
-trouble, and the whole effect is very good; flowers and plants are again
-to be found here, and indeed I cannot say too much about the
-desirability of filling our rooms with both plants and flowers. No house
-can be pretty without a great many of both; and no one who has not seen
-the immense difference plenty of plants make can have any idea of the
-satisfactory effect of these great adjuncts to the real decoration of a
-house. They cost money, but not one quarter of what they used to; and
-even in the depth of winter in London one can buy heaps of narcissus and
-jonquils absurdly cheaply, a shillingsworth making an appreciable
-difference in any house!</p>
-
-<p>Beyond the chair just indicated in the sketch is a species of square
-arch, and beyond that a square end to the room itself; I did not at
-first see what I could do with this most ugly part of an ugly room, but
-at last the brilliant idea struck me, of which I give a tiny sketch
-here. I had a series of brackets put up the arch to hold china; the back
-of these brackets and the panelling above the arch itself was filled in
-with red and gold Japanese leather paper, and on each bracket I placed
-one of Elliott’s pots; the sides of the brackets were painted by Mr.
-M‘Clelland’s clever brush with red, yellow, and pink roses, and I at
-once found myself in possession of a charming object for contemplation,
-instead of a yawning gap, preposterous in structure and hideous to look
-at. By the left-hand side of the arch I place a beautifully embroidered
-Japanese silk screen in the most delicate shade of pink; I can dwell
-lovingly on this, as it was not my own selection, but was a Christmas
-present from someone who knew and studied my tastes, and it gives just
-the right finish to that corner; behind the last bracket stands a palm
-in an art-pot, and another little table with a blue cloth is in front of
-the screen, and completes that side of the room.</p>
-
-<p>Below the last window is the long low book-case mentioned before; it is
-only about three feet high, and is enamelled electric turquoise like the
-rest of the room, and each shelf is edged with a frill of yellow printed
-linen; the top of these shelves makes an excellent rest for
-photographs,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_63" id="page_63"></a>{63}</span> china, and plants, and is thus finished; had the book-case
-not been placed there I cannot think what I should have done, as no one
-can sit in that part of the room, which really is a tiny ante-room, or
-entrance merely, to what is not at the best a large room, but which
-would have been all the better had the eccentric designer done away with
-his arch and put all the space at his command into the room itself; but
-he did not, and so I have made the best use I can of the room as it is,
-though I really believe in so doing I have shortened my life
-perceptibly!</p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_9" id="ill_9"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-063_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-063_sml.jpg" width="450" height="426" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 9.&mdash;Arches for a Double Room." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 9.&mdash;Arches for a Double Room.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p>At the end of the room, opposite the window under which the book-case
-is, is a door&mdash;and such a door! when we came it was grained maple, and
-was the centre of a wooden partition, above which was a neat fanlight of
-starred glass. I shall never forget it&mdash;never! I have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_64" id="page_64"></a>{64}</span> now put on each
-side of the door a curtain of Wallace’s ‘daisy brocade,’ and another on
-the door itself on one of Maple’s rods, which open and shut with the
-door. Above this there is a shelf to hold china, and the glass is
-replaced by leaded squares of cathedral glass. I mention all these
-details to show what a difference a small amount of common sense, a
-little woodwork, and a little money will make; indeed, in these days of
-artistic merit, when upholsterers are educated gentlemen, and the shop
-is no longer a badge of infamy, I think no one who is not utterly
-obstinate and tasteless need have an ugly house; though I must confess I
-still have to grieve over the many absolutely hideous houses in the land
-arranged by those who are not tasteless&mdash;I wish they were: then one
-could do something with them&mdash;but are so permeated by vile and vulgar
-tastes of their own that they will not be taught, and continue to offend
-our eyes with their belongings, regardless of the fact that in these
-days it is really easier to have pretty things than to have ugly ones.
-Before I pass on to other nooks and corners which can be made, I should
-like once more to impress upon my readers that for a morning-room
-nothing is so absolutely successful as regards decoration as this
-arrangement of greeny-blue, yellow and red. I have sat in it and
-contemplated it for just seven years, and I am more and more convinced
-that nothing else is so entirely satisfactory in every way; naturally we
-need not adhere to Mr. Smee’s 4<i>s.</i> paper, or there would be too much
-monotony about it. Marigold 81 at 5<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> from Morris is just as
-beautiful, while Pither’s less expensive ‘blossom,’ ‘berry,’ and
-bay-tree papers, which average 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> a piece, can all be used
-according to the size and shape of the room. And once more I should say
-most emphatically, Study your room; a dark dull room could not take this
-scheme of blue, and were such a chamber taken for the morning-room,
-which I hope and trust would not be the case, I should advocate another
-scheme of colouring altogether, and would suggest either a really
-beautiful pink and green floral paper called ‘Amaryllis’ at 10<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>
-the piece from Wallace, or else Haines’s ‘rose’ paper at 3<i>s.</i> 9<i>d.</i>
-With either, I should suggest warm ivory paint, a pink and cream ceiling
-paper, and either cretonne curtains, in a cretonne to harmonise with the
-paper, or else of soft green<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_65" id="page_65"></a>{65}</span> Liberty silk, the greens procurable there
-being the greens to harmonise with pink, Liberty pink and green
-commingled making a most charming room, but one that should not be
-attempted cheaply. Green and pink must be in expensive materials to
-procure the proper shades, a common green and an inferior pink being
-about the most terrible colours one can have, although a common blue
-runs it very hard, as sporting individuals would say. A green
-carpet&mdash;either the green ‘lily,’ that always satisfactory, inexpensive
-carpet from Wallace, sold in blues, greens, and reds, at 3<i>s.</i> 11<i>d.</i> a
-yard, wide width, or else a dull green pile carpet from Pither’s&mdash;should
-be used in a room decorated in this manner, but the green must be an
-artistic green, and have no fidgety pattern to distract the eye or
-attract attention to what we should never see, unless our attention were
-really called to it.</p>
-
-<p>If the morning-room were in the country, were a very hot room, and only
-used in summer, it would look very charming in sea-green and white.
-Morris has a beautiful sea-green paper at 3<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>; and Chappell &amp;
-Payne have a very pretty sea-green and white-chrysanthemum paper at a
-little under 2<i>s.</i>, the same colour, which could be used were Morris too
-expensive. Either sea-green or ivory paint could be used. There could be
-a hand-painted frieze on sea-green ‘tectorium,’ of white lilac and the
-graceful white broom and their own foliage, and a pale sea-green
-cretonne should be chosen, with bunches of white lilac on. The floor
-should be covered with sea-green matting and rugs, which would bring a
-little colour into the room, and the furniture should be sea-green
-enamel upholstered in the cretonne. In the pink and green room, by the
-way, the furniture should be malachite green-stained, to be had from
-Wallace, and the muslin next the window should be Helbronner’s pink and
-green lily muslin. This is expensive, but it is by far the prettiest
-muslin for such a room that could be found. I think low basket-chairs
-are still the best chairs for a morning-room, but, if they can be
-afforded, one or two higher chairs should be provided. I find
-Shoolbred’s corduroy velveteen the best thing possible to cover
-basket-chairs with, unless one has a maid who is clever enough to unpick
-the cretonne covers and wash and replace them; then nothing is as nice
-as cretonne, and this same material, in some appropriate shade, would do
-for the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_66" id="page_66"></a>{66}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_10" id="ill_10"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-066_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-066_sml.jpg" width="450" height="202" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 10.&mdash;Simple Mantel Draping." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 10.&mdash;Simple Mantel Draping.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">larger chairs. The cost of these must depend on the money we have to
-spend, but a good chair with comfortable springs costs from 5<i>l.</i> to
-8<i>l.</i>, and, if the money can be managed, I should advise as much as this
-being given; it will be cheaper in the long run. I think the most
-difficult matter of all to explain by mere words is the arrangement of a
-fireplace which is already supplied with one of the ‘handsome statuary’
-marble mantel-pieces, which are so much admired by builders and folks
-who cannot help being impressed with the idea that marble mantel-pieces
-and a claim to gentility go hand in hand, and I am always imploring
-people not to drape these imitations with elaborate flutings and
-flounces of muslin and general awfulnesses. If the morning-room&mdash;or,
-indeed, any other room&mdash;is burdened with one of these mantel-pieces,
-paint it boldly with Aspinall (the paint can always be removed either
-with Carson’s ‘detergent’ or else by the ‘Eclipse Paint Remover’). See
-that it matches the rest of the paint in the room; then place along it
-the simple drapery I have illustrated here. This is quite sufficient. It
-hides a good piece of the underpart of the structure, and as it can be
-shaken daily does not collect dust and dirt, as must all more elaborate
-arrangements inevitably. This drapery is made by taking a straight piece
-of material about twenty-four inches wider and twenty-four inches longer
-than the mantel-piece itself; the sides and front are edged with a cord
-and a tassel, or else a few pompons are hung at the front corners; the
-drapery is placed straight along the mantel-piece, the uncorded edge
-against<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_67" id="page_67"></a>{67}</span> the wall, and drapes itself, being kept stationary by the
-ornaments and photographs, &amp;c., we usually put on the shelf. Bokhara
-plush makes the best drapery, but if this is used three or four should
-be made at the same time, or else the plush cuts to waste. Of course the
-rest can be used in other ways; it makes admirable flat bell-pulls for
-bedrooms, with a brass ring at the end, and could be used as toilet
-covers; but corduroy velveteen is nearly as pretty, and, being the exact
-width required, would be the best material to use; it is only 2<i>s.</i>
-9<i>d.</i> a yard. Whatever is used, the corners of the drapery should be
-lined with satin, or sateen, either in a paler colour than the drapery
-itself or in some contrast, as the corners show, and would not look nice
-at all unless they were lined. This completes the drapery, which is the
-only one that should be allowed, as it is simple and cleanly, which is
-more than can be said for any other arrangement. The pattern was given
-me by a friend, who bought it of a first-rate upholsterer in Paris, and
-is so simple, I cannot think why no one ever thought of it before in
-England.</p>
-
-<p>Before we pass away from speaking of the fireplace, I should like to
-describe one or two ways of filling up the recesses generally found in
-present-day houses. In a dining-room I should always place the buffets
-there which I recommend in place of sideboards; then, in the
-drawing-room or morning-room, Giles’s cosy corner, illustrated in every
-advertising paper, is to be recommended for one side; this seat goes
-straight along the recess, and has an end that returns along the end of
-the recess, giving a corner in which to sit. As a rule these seats will
-take two people comfortably. Above the padded back is the same straight
-piece illustrated in the ‘summer corner,’ surmounted by the
-bracket-rail; but if people do not wish to go to the expense of an
-elaborately upholstered and spring seat, they can easily make a seat for
-themselves by having a wooden frame on four legs made to fit the recess;
-the top should be covered with sacking or webbing, along the front of
-the seat should be nailed a full flounce of corduroy velveteen lined
-with holland; a square cushion, made from wool and hair mixed, should be
-placed along the top of the sacking, and the back should be formed by
-hanging two square cushions on the wall so arranged that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_68" id="page_68"></a>{68}</span> one dovetails
-with the other in the corner; these should be high enough to allow of
-using a finish of Giles’s bracket-rail for china, which should be put
-along the top of the cushions and keep them in their places, and a lamp
-can be hung over the seat, either from a hook placed in the ceiling
-itself or hanging out from the frieze-rail from one of the brass arms
-sold by Benson, on purpose for holding lamps, for about 10<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>
-each, that would give light to anyone who sat to read by the fire in a
-room in which gas was banished, as I trust it may soon be banished from
-every sitting-room in the land, either in favour of the beautiful
-electric light, for the universal use of which I pine, or in favour of
-lamps, which may give trouble, but save that trouble over and over again
-in the manner in which things remain clean and good that would have
-become both spoiled and soiled had gas been used where they were.
-Another recess can be filled by using Mrs. Talbot Coke’s design,
-published in the ‘Queen,’ and which I have her permission for giving
-here, and which is not only very pretty but decidedly useful. It could
-be made by any carpenter first, as three simple shelves; the top and
-bottom shelves should be of equal depth, the centre one should be rather
-narrower, and the whole arrangement should not be above the line of the
-mantelshelf; along the edge of the shelves should be glued strips of
-Japanese leather paper, and the top shelf should be divided as in the
-sketch, the arches being either simple wooden arches cut out of thin
-wood, or else of the Moorish fretwork sold by Hindley &amp; Barker; the
-bottom shelf should have three separate small curtains along it, the
-division between being strips of wood decorated with Japanese leather.
-Of course this arrangement should be enamelled to match the rest of the
-paint, and the silk which is used for the curtains should be a contrast;
-and great care must be taken to employ someone who does not make his
-woodwork with a heavy hand (as some cooks make pastry), for I once saw
-one of these recess arrangements carried out in such a way that the
-whole effect was dreadful, being entirely marred by the thick wood and
-heavy arches of which it was composed. Any china can be arranged
-therein, for the top makes an admirable resting-place for odds and ends
-and one’s favourite photographs or books. An armchair should be put by
-the side, and this will<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_69" id="page_69"></a>{69}</span> suggest at once a comfortable reading-nook for
-a winter’s afternoon without any more elaborate arrangement.</p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_11" id="ill_11"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-069_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-069_sml.jpg" width="326" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 11.&mdash;A Recess." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 11.&mdash;A Recess.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p>I am so often asked to advise people, on paper, how to arrange their
-furniture, and despite my strenuous refusals<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_70" id="page_70"></a>{70}</span> to contemplate such a
-waste of time, am so constantly importuned to do so, that I venture to
-pause here, and give one or two hints on the subject of the general
-arrangement of sitting-rooms; as although it is naturally quite
-impossible to tell positively where to place a chair I have never seen
-in a house I have never entered, it is possible, I trust, to give
-general hints which shall enable my readers to make their sitting-rooms
-rather more comfortable than most of them seem able to do at present.</p>
-
-<p>For example, no matter how small a room is, an enormous amount of
-comfort and a certain idea of unlimited space is always given by placing
-a screen judiciously by the door; this prevents the whole of the room
-being on view at once, and gives an opportunity of placing a chair or
-two behind it, which we could not do were the door to open into the
-passage and leave a yawning gulf behind one’s back, or were it to open
-into the room and so leave an exposed place at once where no one could
-sit, because they would feel they were sitting in the passage; and,
-again, no chairs should be isolated or put out of humanity’s reach; if
-they are, they will surely be sought out at once by some shy caller or
-visitor, and we shall have to spend our time endeavouring to draw him or
-her into the circle. By this I do not mean that our chairs should be
-arranged as if we were expecting the assembling together of a
-prayer-meeting, but that they should be within reach both of ourselves,
-the fire in winter, the window in summer, and of the light always; then
-shall we be quite sure our guests are happy, or, if they are not, that
-it is their own fault and not ours.</p>
-
-<p>There should be a place for each member of the household in any room,
-and attention to these details even causes the furniture to in some
-measure arrange itself and be so placed that it shows to the greatest
-advantage, and can at the same time be used by the owners in the best
-manner possible as well. If more lamps are required in a room than the
-two or three which are usually quite sufficient for the purposes of
-general lighting, those who require special lamps should be encouraged
-to look after them themselves, especially in the case of the daughters
-of the house, on whom, in most middle-class families, should devolve all
-the flower-tending and finer parts of housekeeping, of which, by that
-time, the house-mother will no doubt be weary,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_71" id="page_71"></a>{71}</span> and will only be too
-glad to hand over to those who are full of energy as well as of the very
-newest ideas on the subject of how to arrange the flowers, on which so
-much of the appearance of the house depends.</p>
-
-<p>I like the sofa placed out straight from the side of the fire, as in
-Fig. 7, or straight along in front of it, about seven or eight feet from
-the front of the fire; and in some rooms the piano, that most
-undecorative piece of furniture, can be put with one end straight
-against the wall in the recess, the other straight out into the room
-with the sofa against the back, or else a comfortable chair, as
-represented in Fig. 11, which will, I hope, give my readers a good idea
-how to manage a piano, which can be placed either out from the wall in
-the recess, across one corner of a room, or out in the room itself, and,
-indeed, in any way that will not necessitate its back against the wall,
-a position that is fatal to anything like music, for it is terrible to
-play with one’s back to one’s audience, or to sing straight into the
-wall, which throws one’s voice straight back at one all the time one is
-singing. As will be seen from the sketch, the baize at the back of the
-piano is first covered with a good Japanese leather paper, and then soft
-silk is carelessly draped over it, finishing with a long piece at one
-side; the top of the piano is first covered with the soft silk, which is
-fastened by tiny tacks inside the lid to keep it in its place, and then
-by a piece of Japanese embroidery; at one end is a tall palm-stand from
-Liberty with a big brass pot holding a palm; at the back, where there is
-no distinct drapery, stands a small screen, and at the other end is a
-Cairene inlaid stool holding a jar of grasses; but I should prefer
-myself a much taller arrangement, as the end of the piano is not at all
-a pretty object. The silk which is found in the front of most pianos
-should be replaced by Japanese leather paper. If draping is objected
-to&mdash;and it should never be attempted by anyone who cannot pay some
-artist in drapery to manage it for them, unless, of course, their own
-fingers are clever at it&mdash;a very good substitute is formed by using one
-of Shoolbred’s piano-rods, from which can be hung a simple full curtain
-of some good and beautiful brocade, such as is their Nismes brocade. The
-top should always be arranged as shown in the sketch, for though these
-things may deaden the sound,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_72" id="page_72"></a>{72}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_12" id="ill_12"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-072_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-072_sml.jpg" width="306" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 12.&mdash;A Draped Piano." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 12.&mdash;A Draped Piano.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">and a good musician would, no doubt, rage about them, they can be
-removed in three seconds to a side table should<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_73" id="page_73"></a>{73}</span> music be the order of
-the day, and could be replaced at once without giving anyone any undue
-amount of trouble. I have seen a writing-table in a very small room
-placed against the piano, the back of which, having been, first covered
-with brocade, served as a species of ‘hold-all’ for all that is usually
-found on a writing-table; but I cannot seriously recommend this, as it
-is certainly incongruous to find cards of invitation, balls of string,
-date-cases and paper-knives, and general <i>débris</i>, fastened about a
-piano, which must, I am sure, resent tremendously this extraordinary
-manner of embellishing it. I have never seen a piano arranged in a
-better manner than the one illustrated here by the kind permission of my
-successor at my dear Shortlands house, in whose hands the traditions of
-the house are well kept up, and who has filled my shoes there much
-better than I filled them myself; one of her improvements being the
-drapery over the conservatory door, which I have illustrated here, so
-many people having doors like that one and being quite unable to manage
-them properly.</p>
-
-<p>The door is composed, as are all similar doors, of glass at the top and
-two small panels in the wooden frame below; these are filled in with
-Japanese leather paper, a brass handle and one finger-plate are added
-(only one finger-plate should ever be put on a door, and that should be
-put above the door-handle); and on the top of the glass is placed one of
-the pretty bead blinds; this is a graduated one, and is just indicated
-in the sketch. On the left-hand side, nearest the fire, hangs a straight
-full piece of drapery, edged all round with ball fringe, while on the
-other side is draped a curtain with a drawing string, which lets down in
-a moment to hide the door entirely at night. A further idea of how this
-room is now arranged is given by the tall palm-stand, and the end of a
-deep, low, beautiful sofa from Liberty, which I never see without
-breaking the tenth commandment. The sides and back are quite straight,
-the seat is very broad and is heaped with the frilled pillows, which are
-as popular as they are useful and pretty; the sofa is enamelled white,
-and is covered with a beautiful yellow brocade, the curtains beyond, by
-the window, being of a Morris cretonne, which resembles both in colour
-and design the brown and yellow velveteen from Graham &amp; Biddle mentioned
-before. This design makes admirable portières,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_74" id="page_74"></a>{74}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_13" id="ill_13"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-074_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-074_sml.jpg" width="325" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 13.&mdash;Conservatory Door." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 13.&mdash;Conservatory Door.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">and is always a pleasure to look at. The tambourine is hung on the dado,
-which is of a very good yellow and white<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_75" id="page_75"></a>{75}</span> matting and is headed with
-bamboo, and despite the favour into which friezes have grown of late
-years, a favour they quite deserve I must say, I still cling to the dado
-in the dining-and drawing-rooms; in the former they give solidity to the
-wall, which they always keep tidy; in the latter they serve admirably as
-places on which to hang our favourite nicknacks and those small sketches
-and pictures which we prize, and which would almost be lost to sight
-were we to hang them above the height of the dado-rail, where we could
-not have them near us; so I strongly advise a dado whenever we can have
-one in the drawing-room, and I have been lately confirmed in my opinion
-by seeing two newly decorated rooms where the dado was useless as far as
-regarded the hanging of pet possessions, but it was so decorative that I
-am forced to pause here for a moment and give a description of them
-both.</p>
-
-<p>In room No. 1 the wall-paper was my favourite yellow and white from Mr.
-Smee; all the paint was a deep ivory, and the dado-rail was ivory too;
-for about a yard below the rail the wall was coloured primrose, and over
-this was hung a full soft curtain of yellow silk closely plaited on tiny
-rings, which again were hung on nails below the rail, which curved out
-over them and hid them completely; this curtain could be taken down and
-shaken and replaced every week if desired, while, of course, during
-absence from town the silk would be folded up and put away. The loose
-curtain looks charming round the room, which is a very tiny one, and has
-been admirably arranged by Mr. Smee with a fitted seat at one side of
-the wall, with side curtains to give an idea of privacy, and above that
-is a long bookcase; the curtains are of the beautiful larkspur cretonne
-which has yellow and blue in it; the carpet is a deep red, to give more
-colour, as the room is to be used for day, and therefore requires to be
-made to look warmer than could be done were only blue and yellow used;
-and the furniture is all ivory, and upholstered in different brocades;
-albeit these are also covered with loose cretonne covers in the larkspur
-cretonne, which is 2<i>s.</i> 10<i>d.</i> a yard, but really deserves to cost as
-much, it is so pretty, although I do own it is rather expensive for a
-mere cretonne.</p>
-
-<p>The other room in which I saw the curtain dado was much more sombre in
-design and colouring; and I do not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_76" id="page_76"></a>{76}</span> for one moment recommend such a
-distressingly dark arrangement, although I do most heartily commend the
-clever designer of this original room. The dado was not the straight
-curtain which goes all round the room, which I have been writing about,
-but it started from the window at one end five feet above the floor;
-this continued for halfway along the wall, where it suddenly lowered to
-within three feet of the floor, leaving a piece of wall about three feet
-across and two deep; after running along for three feet at this lowered
-angle, it rose again and continued along the wall to the door. Just on
-the other side of the door the curtain began at three feet from the
-wainscoting, and continued for about five feet, when it rose once more,
-and continued at the first altitude for the rest of the wall, which
-ended in a corner; the curtain lowered from that to the fireplace,
-which, with its overmantel, filled one square, the dado beginning once
-more at the five-foot altitude after the fireplace was passed. The
-curtain was moss-green serge, and was hung from a pole painted
-moss-green, with brass rings, which were <i>en évidence</i>; and above the
-curtain the wall was covered with a very good Japanese leather paper;
-the squares made by the dropping of the curtain being filled in one
-place by a choice picture, in another by an admirably designed bracket
-for books and china, and in another by a square beaten brass shield
-holding an elaborate and beautiful clustered candelabra; and had the
-drapery been of some bright colour, or some really decorative brocade,
-the house would have been as charming as it was original, but, arranged
-with the dark Japanese paper and the much darker drapery, the whole
-effect was so depressing, that I felt, were I obliged to remain in that
-house, I should have committed suicide, for my spirits would never have
-borne up under it. But it was a dark day, as the owner pointed out, when
-I told him, at his request, what I thought of it all. But I maintain
-that as most of our English days, and more especially our London days,
-are extremely dark, we are bound to try and make our rooms so beautiful
-that they, at least, shall not in any way add to the depression that is
-inseparable from sage-green walls and darkness generally. We cannot have
-too much cheerfulness I maintain; it is absolutely impossible to be too
-happy and too lively; and as our climate does not<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_77" id="page_77"></a>{77}</span> help us to be either
-the one or the other, we must endeavour to simulate as much sunshine as
-we can, by making our rooms cheerful and as sunny-looking as we have the
-power to do. I never go into my own rooms, or the many rooms I have
-helped to decorate, without feeling that, whatever else may be their
-faults, they certainly cannot be called gloomy. They are all bright and
-cheerful; and I defy anyone to be miserable long, unless, of course,
-some real misfortune has occurred, in one of my rooms in the green serge
-abode. A misfitting dress would be as dreadful a sorrow as a broken arm,
-a disappointment about an entertainment as serious as an illness or loss
-of money! Flowers again should never be forgotten, or allowed to become
-dead and shabby; and, above all, each room we occupy should be
-scrupulously clean, and without being aggressively neat should be
-absolutely tidy. Directly a thing becomes dirty or untidy it should be
-cleaned or replaced by something else. We should never overlook the
-soiling of the paint, a crushed antimacassar, a dirty ceiling, and,
-above all, we should remember that no amount of artistic knowledge and
-careful decoration can make up for grimy tablecloths and crooked vases,
-heaped-up papers and crushed chairbacks and damaged cretonnes. A room
-must not only be made nice, it must be kept so; and if we cannot afford
-good servants, who will respect our belongings, we must do the finer
-parts of the housework ourselves. It is no disgrace to wash fine china,
-and turn and fold our tablecloths and draperies; it is disgraceful to
-have dirty ornaments, and to be untidy and careless about our rooms.</p>
-
-<p>Indeed, if any of us really want our rooms to look nice we should, no
-matter how good are our servants, go carefully over them ourselves the
-moment the housemaid’s work is done, and see that all is as we like it.
-Servants do not place furniture, they <i>ram</i> it into its place. The
-tablecloths are usually put on wrong side out, and, somehow or other,
-all seems to require the lady’s touch, which cannot be explained, but is
-certainly observable in any house where the mistress is untidy, and so
-naturally excuses untidiness in those around her.</p>
-
-<p>I maintain that tidiness is quite a gift, and that she who is possessed
-of that admirable quality makes things go twice as far as does she who
-never attempts to put a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_78" id="page_78"></a>{78}</span> thing straight, who overlooks dust and dirt,
-and without knowing precisely how it is managed, gets her house into
-endless muddle and never allows it to look nice, albeit she spends three
-times as much over it as does she who is gifted with tidiness and a
-‘straight eye.’ Therefore, if a house is to be properly kept, the moment
-a handle comes off a door, replace it; the instant a thing looks in the
-least degree dirty, have it washed or cleaned; let any carpet be mended
-before it goes into a hole; have black cleaned off any ceiling the
-moment it comes on it; and, above all, have the china clean and
-straight, and never overlook a rent or a dirty mark. If a house is kept
-nice the expenses are gradual; if all is neglected, the day of
-reckoning, which must come inevitably, will be such a heavy one that it
-will cost more than can be afforded by anyone who is not a millionaire;
-and it must come, for even if the house is our own, we must leave it
-some time, and our successor will not revere our memory, or remember us
-even with kindness, when he comes after us and repairs our ravages,
-which need have been unimportant had we punctually spent the yearly sum
-for repairs, &amp;c., which should always be set aside by every careful
-householder.</p>
-
-<p>Every room in every house should be re-painted and papered at least
-every seventh year. Outside painting should be done every third year.
-The ceilings should be cleansed the moment they begin to look dirty; and
-we should never possess curtains or carpets which we cannot afford to
-replace somehow, or that will not readily wash and darn, and shake when
-they begin to show signs of having been used.</p>
-
-<p>A pretty house in good order will always let, should we desire to move;
-while a house in bad repair, and dirty, will never find a tenant, even
-if the landlord is a model one, and is willing to do all he can in the
-matter of new decorations, for somehow the squalor and grime that greet
-the eye first on entering never seem forgotten, and the house is passed
-over again and again, because it is impossible to believe a house in
-such a state can ever be made either healthy or beautiful.</p>
-
-<p>Before passing away from the three ordinary sitting-rooms in a house I
-should like just to speak of some of the new styles of decoration which
-have come to the fore<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_79" id="page_79"></a>{79}</span> lately, and which, I am glad to say, are all as
-cheerful as can be; not that the arrangements I have advocated have been
-relegated to that mysterious limbo dedicated to the fashions of last
-week. I have at last, I am delighted to be able to tell my readers,
-persuaded one or two of the more enterprising tradesmen to recognise the
-fact that a thing which was good and satisfactory last week is just as
-good and satisfactory this, and all the schemes of decoration I gave
-before are still to be had. But tastes change, and it is always well to
-be prepared with some new ideas, for rooms are all different, and what
-suits one room will not suit another.</p>
-
-<p>I still like the Japanese plain paper, red and gold leather dado, and
-red paint better than anything else for a dining-room, just as I cling
-to my blue morning-room; but as it would not do for us all to have this
-same decoration, I often advise an admirable tapestry paper, sold by
-Pither at 4<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> a piece. This can either have ‘holly-green’ or
-‘imperial red’ paint, and a dado of Japanese leather paper, carefully
-chosen to harmonise with the paper, and which should have dull red and
-green and gold in its design, in very dark and unobtrusive shades. The
-ceiling paper should be pale yellow and white, the cornice cream. The
-doors should be panelled with the Japanese paper, and the curtains
-should either be of Colbourne’s Gobelin tapestry, at 6<i>s.</i> 11<i>d.</i> a
-yard, wide width, or else of self-coloured velveteen or serge, the
-colour of the paint (whichever is chosen), and the carpet should be an
-Oriental one if possible, with a dark red matting surround, or else of
-Wallace’s dark red ‘anemone,’ either in pile, Brussels, or
-Kidderminster, according to the price one wishes to give. This style of
-decoration would suit almost any furniture, though I should prefer the
-chairs to be covered with the Gobelin tapestry, which wears admirably,
-and which should always be used to re-cover old or shabby chairs,
-instead of a cheap leather. This covering could be done at home by an
-upholsteress if necessary; but I should advise the chairs being taken in
-hand by someone who can re-make the stuffing, if the expense can be
-afforded; if it cannot, the leather should be left as it is, all
-unevennesses and excrescences should be made even by judicious use of
-cotton-wool on the leather, then a tight cover of holland should be
-first put on, finally the cover of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_80" id="page_80"></a>{80}</span> Gobelin tapestry, which should not
-be buttoned down, but should be stretched over and secured in its place
-with a gimp. Each chair would cost about 4<i>s.</i> or 5<i>s.</i>, certainly not
-more.</p>
-
-<p>Where the old-furniture mania exists, an artistic dining-room can be
-made by using all nut-brown paint, Essex &amp; Co.’s ‘Kenesaw’ design,
-stamped on real brown paper, a gold and brown leather dado, all yellow
-serge or velveteen curtains, and a golden-brown square carpet; and great
-care should be taken in both rooms to have the proper tablecloths, which
-Burnett makes from a design I gave him, and which have been largely used
-(and recommended by the several imitators of mine which have sprung up
-in divers papers since I first began my own notion of giving advice on
-the matter of house decoration and arrangement through the columns of a
-newspaper, now some six long years ago), and which are far better and
-more artistic than any others I have ever seen. The cloth is plain serge
-or felt, with a contrasting border united to the cloth itself by a gimp
-in which both colours are mingled, and finished off with a ball fringe.
-These cloths cost about 25<i>s.</i> for an ordinary table, and, as they will
-clean and dye, would last some years if properly looked after.</p>
-
-<p>I have already spoken about the morning-room decoration, and therefore I
-will only add a few words on the subject of the drawing-room, where the
-yellow-and-white scheme I so often recommend cannot be improved upon by
-those who can afford a reasonably expensive scheme of decoration. Of
-course the very greatest care must be taken to avoid anything like the
-gold-and-white paper of our ancestors, but this usually was accompanied
-by grained maple paint, which gave the last touch of horror to the
-scene, and therefore could never resemble the delicate ivory paint which
-Aspinall has made so easy for us; and I still admire Mr. Smee’s
-beautiful yellow-and-white paper at 11<i>s.</i> a piece better than anything
-else, and with this I advise a dado of Collinson &amp; Lock’s ‘47’ cretonne.
-This should be secured with a screwed-on dado-rail, as then the cretonne
-could be removed to be washed; all the chairs should be put into frilled
-cretonne covers of the same cretonne, made like those in Fig. 13; the
-curtains should be of Pither’s printed linen at 1<i>s.</i> a yard, edged with
-ball<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_81" id="page_81"></a>{81}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_14" id="ill_14"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-081_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-081_sml.jpg" width="450" height="284" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 14.&mdash;Frilled Chairs and Sofa." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 14.&mdash;Frilled Chairs and Sofa.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_82" id="page_82"></a>{82}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">fringe at 6<i>d.</i> a yard, and the carpet should be dark blue pile, with a
-pattern that resembles tiny daisies powdered all over the surface in a
-paler shade of blue.</p>
-
-<p>Great exception has been taken to Pither’s printed linen because it
-fades. So it does; but then it is very cheap, it lasts two years in a
-sunny window, four in one that is not sunny, and, finally, dyes
-beautifully, fringe and all, coming back from the immortal Pullar as
-good as on the day it was first bought. I don’t think one can complain
-very much about a material which behaves like that, can one? But, of
-course, the printed linen as curtains can be replaced by silk, damask,
-or by ‘47’ cretonne itself, should the first-named material be objected
-to.</p>
-
-<p>No colour lights up so well as yellow&mdash;I am quite sure of that; and
-another decoration could be made from the yellow ‘Othmar’ paper sold by
-Essex, all cream paint, and a frieze of chrysanthemums, either painted
-by hand, or else of the excellent printed design sold by Haines at 3<i>s.</i>
-6<i>d.</i> the yard. With this the carpet should be red, and the curtains
-should either be of a brocade which introduces the shades in the
-flowers, or else of a cretonne: all would depend on how much money there
-was to spend; but whether cretonne or brocade is used, it must match the
-frieze in some measure. Though great cornices and vast pier-glasses over
-mantel-pieces are entirely out of date, and will never, I trust, return
-into fashion, there are still some unfortunates who labour under these
-possessions, and who dare not rid themselves of them, much as they would
-like to do so, and who may be glad to learn how these horrors may in
-some measure be mitigated. All cornices become less repulsive directly
-they are Aspinalled ivory. I cannot tell why, but this seems to
-metamorphose them at once, and makes them quite ornamental, while the
-frame of the glass can be treated in the same manner, unless the frames
-are quite flat, in which case they should be covered with brocade, in
-the same manner in which the fashionable frames for photographs are now
-managed. In any case, all the heavy flourishes and ‘ornaments’ should be
-removed, and the glass made in every way as plain and unobtrusive as
-possible. Draping with muslin, or even with Liberty silk, is never
-successful, and only makes the object draped like one of the
-lodging-house possessions, carefully guarded in a similar manner by<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_83" id="page_83"></a>{83}</span> the
-careful landlady from the encroachments of the flies, and is therefore
-much to be avoided.</p>
-
-<p>Never, no matter what the time of year, put it out of your power to have
-a fire, should you so desire it. I still cling to the Japanese umbrella,
-and have never found a substitute for it which is so absolutely
-satisfactory. If its stick is properly cut it hides the wood and coal
-and grate entirely, and gives a bright spot of colour, and can be
-removed at once. A curtain hung straight down from a slight rod just
-under the top of the grate itself looks very neat, as does a series of
-rings to hold flower-pots, just brought out by Hamilton, of the Quentin
-Matsys Forge, York Street, Westminster. This holds twelve pots of
-flowers, and can be lifted out in a moment altogether should a fire be
-required, and would always look well put down in a corner of the room.
-One of the Guild brocade screens with miniatures answers well too, and
-Giles has invented from my description a fireplace cabinet, which, put
-under the wooden mantel-piece&mdash;which is <i>de rigueur</i> in an artistic
-house&mdash;continues the mantel and overmantel decorations, and makes the
-whole appear like a good cabinet for books, china, and flowers. This can
-also be removed in a few minutes, and either hung on the wall or placed
-in a corner of the room.</p>
-
-<p>The perfect câche-feu has yet to be invented, but until some clever
-genius has done this, either of the above ideas answers quite well; but
-I do solemnly warn my readers against fashionable trellis-work with
-paper ivy and grapes wandering over it, fans outstretched in plush with
-senseless photographs let in&mdash;as if photographs could be in place on the
-hearth!&mdash;and all the thousand and one freaks of fashion that are brought
-out by those who ought to know better, and who have filled many houses
-to overflowing with terrible plush frames, soiled satin bags, useless
-odds and ends, and ghastly painted tables, brackets, and stands, which
-are costly to begin with, and so we do not like to dispose of them too
-hastily, and which should never be seen in the houses of those who
-really want to have an artistic and pretty home; with which solemn
-warning we will pass on to sterner subjects, and will consider in
-another chapter how to treat the more ‘manly’ portion of the house,
-where work or pleasure may be gone in for.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_84" id="page_84"></a>{84}</span></p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IV" id="CHAPTER_IV"></a>CHAPTER IV.<br /><br />
-<small>THE BILLIARD-ROOM AND LIBRARY.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">‘There</span> must be nothing frivolous, light, or airy in the aspect of either
-of these rooms; all must be sombre and steady, if not dark;’ and though
-I do not go so far as this&mdash;the ordinary dictum of the upholsterer&mdash;I am
-quite willing to allow that in the billiard-room at least lightness and
-frivolity are out of place, albeit I cannot allow that even this room
-need be sombre and dreary, while certainly it ought to light up well, as
-it is a room which is generally used merely at night.</p>
-
-<p>Wherever it can be afforded, and wherever there are young men or lads in
-the house, there should always be a billiard-table, and the girls should
-be encouraged to play with their brothers and their brothers’ friends as
-long as their mother or father can remain in the room as some sort of
-guard and guide; the pleasanter home is made the less inclination will
-young men have to go elsewhere for their amusements, and if they are
-accustomed to be made happy and feel that their friends are welcome too,
-they will not keep outside home for the pleasure that is to be found
-without crossing the threshold. A billiard-room in winter, a couple of
-good tennis-courts in summer, and the hours of leisure will pass
-comfortably along, and leave neither time nor opportunities for less
-desirable pleasures.</p>
-
-<p>Example is everything in a house: a thousand sermons will not speak as
-loudly against betting, and gambling, and drink&mdash;the horrors of my
-existence&mdash;as will the example of a house where such things are never
-allowed, and yet where amusements of all kinds are not frowned upon and
-refused, where games are encouraged for their own sakes, and where a
-healthy outdoor life replaces the bar-frequenting, loafing hours, which
-are all too often the portion of those who have been accustomed to
-‘nipping’ and loafing, because they have seen these two habits allowed
-as a matter of course from their earliest days.</p>
-
-<p>And before I speak of the mere walls and furniture of a billiard-room
-let me impress upon my readers not to allow<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_85" id="page_85"></a>{85}</span> this room to be turned into
-a base imitation of a tap-room. I am not a teetotaler, and have small
-patience with those intolerant individuals whose language and statements
-are all too often as bad and violent as they are absolutely unreliable
-and untrue, and I do not believe in the possibility of living our
-present eager and artificial existence without the aid of alcohol in
-some shape or the other, certainly not after we have borne the heat and
-stress of the day, and we require something stronger than water to
-sustain us, but I do absolutely condemn the insane and insensate habit
-in which so many indulge nowadays of continually drinking between meals.
-Were stimulants taken at meals only, were spirits, with the exception of
-brandy (which should be kept entirely as a most valuable medicine),
-abolished, we should have no drunkards, and the teetotalers would lose
-all excuse for their most unpleasant and untruthful existences; and as
-we now seldom see a drunkard in our streets, and never contemplate the
-pleasing scenes which after dinner, in our great-grandmothers’ times,
-were visible in many dining-rooms, from which no gentleman ever issued
-to join the ladies, because he was generally under the table or else
-fast asleep with both arms on it, I am in great hopes that we are
-learning to be a sober nation, though I hope sincerely never to see it
-an absolutely teetotal one, for beer and wine are necessary, I am
-convinced, in our climate, and we should be miserable indeed were we
-debarred, as the fanatics would debar us, from the use of all fermented
-or alcoholic drinks.</p>
-
-<p>But we must be moderate and we must not drink between meals, and we must
-avoid the constant sodas-and-brandies which appear inseparable from some
-billiard-rooms, and to which is due, no doubt, the pious horror many
-good folks have of this chamber in a house; and I should like it to be
-firmly understood that the room was for the game merely, and that
-anything like ‘nipping’ would be at once and sternly discouraged. This
-being satisfactorily settled, we may proceed to plan and decorate our
-billiard-room with a clear conscience, secure in the fact that we are
-simply providing a place for innocent amusement, that will be of
-invaluable service at night and on wet Saturday afternoons, and that
-will not prove a snare and stumbling-block to any, more especially if we
-as sternly refuse to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_86" id="page_86"></a>{86}</span> allow gambling as we refuse to allow imbibing at
-odd moments of the day or night.</p>
-
-<p>I am always astonished that no crusade has been raised against the
-national sin of gambling. Drink ruins the homes of poor men, but not
-more certainly or rapidly than gambling ruins the homes of rich men, and
-of men far from rich. Drink may kill a man, but it takes a great many
-drunkards to imbibe an estate, while one night’s gambling may scatter
-the savings of a lifetime and turn all the wretched children of a
-selfish gambler into the streets to starve. I have been horrified
-sometimes to see ladies and gentlemen hot, eager, excited, gambling in
-private houses, the host actually bent on winning from those who are
-enjoying his hospitality, the hostess almost insulting her guests in her
-awful anxiety to gain the contents of their purses; and I am convinced
-that the only way to escape this demon is to refuse to pander to it at
-all, to never allow one single penny to be staked at cards in one’s own
-house, and to make this such a rule that it would be impossible to break
-it on any consideration whatever. I have seen pennies played for which
-begat the taste for gambling for much larger sums; and I have never seen
-a house where gambling was allowed truly prosper, or be anything save
-the residence of those whose ideas and hopes were centred in this world
-only, and never rose above the mere ‘society’ existence, than which
-nothing can be more despicable and awful.</p>
-
-<p>This book is not a tract, and therefore I do not say one half I should
-like to on this subject; but as I remember the ruined homes&mdash;one family
-especially, where all are scattered and most are dead, where gambling
-went on in the schoolroom and drawing-room alike, at every moment which
-could be snatched for the purpose; the broken hearts, the miserably
-wrecked careers, entirely due to this vice; when one can hardly take up
-a paper without seeing the dreary fate of some wretched youth, whose
-tendencies to betting and gaming have caused him to rob his master’s
-till and landed him in penal servitude, I must say I cannot help feeling
-astonished that the eager teetotalers do not try their hands at putting
-down gaming, especially as they have the law on their side&mdash;the kind,
-good, well-devised law which snaps up little boys who play
-pitch-and-toss at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_87" id="page_87"></a>{87}</span> the corners of the streets, that winks at
-Tattersall’s and the big races, and finally is utterly powerless to
-punish the high-class gamester, who spends his nights at gaming-hells
-and ruins his home and his wretched constitution at the same time.</p>
-
-<p>However, lest I weary my readers in dwelling on this subject, about
-which one cannot say too much, I think I will now simply speak of the
-decoration of the billiard-room, having, I hope, so judiciously
-sandwiched the powder between the jam in this chapter, that those who
-seek for information about the room itself may unawares come upon it,
-and so be forced to meditate, whether they like it or not, on some of
-the reasons why so many people dread the idea of a billiard-room where
-there are boys. If gambling were non-existent, the veriest Chadband
-might learn to handle the cue; while a pastor at a dissenting chapel
-need not dread the eyes of his deacons were he found disporting himself
-in the halls of the ungodly, which would cease to be ungodly, or be no
-more so than the harmless tennis-courts, were betting eliminated from
-among their charms, and nothing but the game itself really and truly
-encouraged and allowed.</p>
-
-<p>A big room is a necessity for a billiard-room, which should never, by
-any chance, be shorter than twenty-six feet long by twenty broad; a
-full-sized table measures twelve feet by six, and the size I have spoken
-of only allows sufficient comfortable room for walking round the table,
-and for the usual raised seats which are always put at the ends and on
-one side of the room. Personally, I should prefer a much larger room
-still, as I like to see one end of the room furnished as a species of
-sitting-room; but, of course, in London the twenty-six by twenty room
-would be ample. In the country, the billiard-table comes in for days
-when shooting is impossible, and the sitting-room end there is a great
-advantage in more ways than one.</p>
-
-<p>Quite a charming billiard-room can be made by using all brown paint and
-a high dado, to the top of the door, of brown and gold Japanese leather
-paper; above the dado the wall should be painted <i>café-au-lait</i>; the
-cornice should be replaced by a coving, which should terminate in a
-top-light, from whence the ordinary cross-lights could be hung for use
-at night, and these surely could be in beaten iron with some prettier
-shades than the hideous green things<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_88" id="page_88"></a>{88}</span> which match the equally hideous
-cloth, which I hope to see replaced soon by something a little more
-artistic, say in such a room as the one I have just described, by a dull
-brown cloth, which surely would be every bit as satisfactory as the
-green, which is certainly the most aggressive shade of green which has
-ever been made. In this case the shades could be blue, with some lace
-over them, or the yellow with no lace at all.</p>
-
-<p>Where the ceiling is coved, the coving should always be decorated either
-with gold leather paper or by an artist’s brush; and I have seen most
-elaborately drawn pictures of the old wooden ships of Henry VIII.’s time
-in a similar coving, in sepia on a cream ground, which looked perfectly
-beautiful, and which I should recommend in a similar room, where stags’
-heads and other trophies of the chase should be arranged on the painted
-wall, which should be too high for pictures, which could not be hung on
-the dado either, for fear of their being damaged by the ends of the
-cues. I should advise the use of printed yellow linen for curtains,
-edged, of course, with ball fringe, were there any windows in the room
-beside the top-light, which should have a gathered soft yellow blind
-arranged to draw over it in very hot weather; while the table itself,
-when not in use, should be covered with a large square of yellow serge
-lined with American cloth, with a big monogram embroidered on one
-corner; this would preserve the table, and look much better than the
-ordinary cloth.</p>
-
-<p>The floor should be parqueterie with strips of velvet pile carpet in
-golden brown on the four sides; these should be mitred at the corners,
-and no other carpet would be required, save, of course, a square if we
-had the drawing-room end to the room I advocated before; if not, the
-room should be kept for billiards only, when the strips round the table
-would be quite sufficient; the leather seats should be covered in brown
-leather, and the fire should be protected by one of the admirable guards
-sold by Benham &amp; Co., and which have padded tops, on which people can
-sit and watch the game, and get comfortably warm at the same time.</p>
-
-<p>I have seen a most ingenious arrangement of small cupboards in the
-overmantel of a billiard-room, which was pronounced invaluable for the
-safe storing away of cigars<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_89" id="page_89"></a>{89}</span> and tobacco, which should be mentioned, as
-of course smoking will be principally carried on in this room. The
-mantel-piece was walnut, and the fireplace the orthodox open grate and
-tiled hearth and back; the overmantel was carved to match the mantel,
-and was quite flat to the wall, which had been scooped out in some
-manner behind it, to allow of the formation of sundry square cupboards
-in the wall itself; these each held a cedar-wood box of cigars, with the
-front end off; and the cigars were so arranged that they could be taken
-out one by one, when the square wooden block in the overmantel, which
-formed the entrance to the cupboard, was unlocked, and fell forward on a
-hinge. No one could have suspected the overmantel of being a cupboard,
-and yet it was one; while at the same time this particular spot was
-especially pleasing, I believe, to the constitution of a cigar, which
-appears to require a certain amount of warmth, until it disappears
-finally into smoke, leaving its terrible odour behind it. On the
-mantel-piece itself were dull blue vases holding spills; several
-ingenious and expensive match-boxes, on which all matches appeared to me
-to refuse to ignite, and the usual <i>débris</i> one always finds in similar
-localities, filthy-looking pipes, old date stands, and stands for
-holding the hunt appointments, and similar expensive and broken toys,
-being there in vast abundance. Another excellent manner of decorating a
-billiard-room, where the owner had pictures to dispose of, and did not
-want a very elaborate or costly decoration, would be formed by papering
-the room entirely with real brown paper, and painting the room the same
-soft brown; a frieze should be added, if possible, of one of the
-Japanese hand-painted friezes one can buy occasionally at any
-decorator’s, representing a flight of wild ducks, or else of storks,
-among reeds and flowers; but if this cannot be either found or afforded,
-a plain gold and brown Japanese leather frieze would look well. This
-should not be less than fourteen inches wide; anything less is
-distinctly ugly; while it might come almost to the top of the door,
-which should be surmounted by one of Wallace’s simple over-doors to hold
-china, which should be blue and white. The curtains in this room should
-be Liberty’s very dark blue and white reversible cretonnes; the chairs
-could be either dark blue leather or saddle-bags with dark blue velvet<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_90" id="page_90"></a>{90}</span>
-surrounds; and the carpet should be dark blue pile. This would look
-well, and be an entirely pleasant scheme of decoration; a hand-painted
-frieze on brown paper would also be capital if expense were no object.</p>
-
-<p>Yet another and a bolder decoration could be made by using Essex golden
-‘Othmar’ paper, with Mandarin paint, and a wide frieze of the dull green
-‘Othmar,’ dull green carpets, and Graham &amp; Biddle’s beautiful yellow
-poppy cretonne, edged with dull green ball fringe, and lined dull green;
-the carpet should be the dull green ‘Stella’ pile carpet from Wallace’s,
-and all the chairs should be dull green leather.</p>
-
-<p>If by chance there can be afforded or managed a drawing-room end to the
-billiard-room, a couple of screens will be found most invaluable; and if
-these screens have a long spike in each fold, to receive which a
-corresponding hole is bored in the floor, a great objection to screens
-will be done away with. Furnished with these spikes, which should be
-able to be unscrewed and removed quite easily, they could not possibly
-be knocked over; and, in my opinion, the tall standard lamps, which are
-so much in request just at present, should be furnished with similar
-spikes, as they always appear to me dreadfully dangerous, especially
-where there are children, or even dogs, or careless servants; for
-though, of course, the danger of fire is entirely done away with if we
-use Defries’s excellent patent for putting out the light as the lamp
-falls, the oil must be spilt and damage the carpet, while an unpleasant
-smash and fright are absolutely certain. We should be saved anything of
-the kind were my simple spike arrangement adopted by all those who use
-these lamps.</p>
-
-<p>The drawing-room end of the billiard-room should have a bow window with
-a seat round, several cosy arm-chairs, a table capable of holding the
-week’s supply of newspapers and the month’s supply of magazines, each in
-its own proper corner, and a couple of serviceable paper-knives should
-be always forthcoming. There should be a nice little writing-table for
-the use of any who wish to scribble notes; and, above all, there should
-be either a long bookcase on the wall full of frivolous literature, or
-else one of Trübner’s excellent bookcases, which revolve and so allow
-one to reach any book in the case without rising from one’s comfortable
-seat.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_91" id="page_91"></a>{91}</span></p>
-
-<p>A venerable piano which has seen better days is no mean addition to the
-comfort and pleasure of the billiard-room, and many an hilarious and
-impromptu entertainment has chased away the melancholy caused by a wet
-afternoon in the dismal winter country, due entirely to the happy
-presence among the company of a piano which was quite good enough to be
-used to accompany comic songs on, and amply good enough to form the
-basis for a recitation after&mdash;a long way after&mdash;Corney Grain or the
-immortal John Parry.</p>
-
-<p>But though a big room is much better than a small one for billiards,
-people should not be deterred from having a table in their houses
-because their space does not allow of a full-sized one. The very nicest
-billiard-room I was ever in, and which, alas! is now no more, was that
-formed by using the square hall of a country vicarage; that table
-existed before the present age of artistic decorations, but whenever I
-remember it and the dear old house in which it stood I forget all art,
-and only remember the extreme fascination that place had for me, and can
-scent again the mingled odours of the vicar’s pipes and Maréchal Niel
-roses, which are inseparable from my remembrance of the place. The table
-stood squarely in the front hall, which was covered with brown linoleum,
-and was seldom unmarked by dogs’ feet for more than five minutes after
-it had been freshly washed, and we used to perch about on the tops of
-oak chests, the fender, anywhere, while the game progressed, as there
-was no room for seats. In addition to the hall table, the hat-stand,
-decorated with all sorts and conditions of hats, male and female, and
-the oak chests, one of which held the rugs and whips, the other the
-parish registers from some very bygone date, the walls themselves were
-decorated with stuffed birds and animals in glass cases, sundry collars
-and chains belonging to the dear dogs, driving-whips suspended in some
-cunning manner to keep them in shape, a barometer which survived the
-most fearful amount of banging and shaking that ever barometer was
-subjected to, and finally by the post-bag, which hung from a nail until
-it was fetched by a small village girl who rejoiced in the remarkable
-name of ‘Rhody Jemimy,’ who had to take and fetch the bag morning and
-evening from the ‘World’s End,’ the mail-cart bringing it and taking it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_92" id="page_92"></a>{92}</span>
-from and to that mysterious location, for we were far too primitive in
-those parts to have a postman, and had our one post a day contentedly
-enough, though I believe the present denizen of the vicarage has
-clamoured until he has not only a postman but a second post; albeit,
-neither were ever required by us, who were perfectly happy in those
-blessed days without them. I dwell upon this room rather at length in
-order to encourage anyone who may hanker after a billiard-room, and not
-dare to think of it seriously because the necessary twenty feet by
-twenty space is not forthcoming, and, moreover, because they dread the
-expense as much as the want of room. Of course a new full-sized table is
-a very expensive thing, and fittings and all could not cost less than
-150<i>l.</i>; but as soon as we have made up our minds that we can really
-have a billiard-table we must begin to look out for the sales, for very
-often there are compulsory sales about, where a very good billiard-table
-can be purchased for a quarter the price of a new one. I have known one
-sold for 25<i>l.</i>, as the owner had forgotten to renew his lease and was
-given summary notice of dismissal, while a friend of mine bought a
-beauty for 40<i>l.</i> which simply required a little polish about the legs
-to be quite as good as new; but should money be of no real object, it
-would be better to go to some really first-class maker and have the
-table properly set up and made, for I believe there is great art in the
-proper placing of the table, and this should only be undertaken by
-someone who thoroughly understands the business; still, in a small room,
-and with a small and second-hand table, there may be found vast
-enjoyment if the bigger and more elaborate arrangement cannot possibly
-be managed.</p>
-
-<p>I am always amused at some people’s determination not to be either
-happy, or <i>complete</i> in their household arrangements, because they
-cannot have the best of everything that is to be had, though I must
-confess such conduct makes me just a little cross as well. I have known
-folks utterly refuse to contemplate the joys of a jolly little pony and
-chaise because they didn’t care to set up a carriage unless they could
-do so properly; ‘properly’ in their case meaning the orthodox coachman,
-footman, horses, and a couple of carriages; whereas they condemned
-themselves to their own immediate neighbourhood and to tramping about<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_93" id="page_93"></a>{93}</span>
-the lanes, or to staying at home, because they could not understand that
-as much pleasure could be got out of the ‘shay’ as out of anything still
-more gorgeous. I have known folks decline with scorn to cover their
-ugly, depressing, bare walls with pictures, because they could not buy
-Millais and Herkomers; whereas their lives and their houses would have
-been brightened at once had they spent 20<i>l.</i> on autotypes. And I have
-as constantly been acquainted with dozens of folks who would not do
-this, that, or the other, because they must take a back seat so to
-speak, and who in consequence waste half their opportunities. I except
-society, by the way; if the best society is not forthcoming (and by the
-best society I mean the society of people who are clever and who have
-done, or long to do something to make the world brighter and happier
-than they found it), don’t have any. The contact with mean, small, and
-ignorant minds does one harm, not good; the constant rubbing against
-time-serving shoulders and the shoulders of those who would do any
-amount of grovelling to be received by what they consider the society of
-the neighbourhood, only smirches us, and we had better sit at home all
-our lives with our books alone than expose ourselves to the
-deterioration we receive from association with such folk. But, apart
-from society, I would rather have the second or third best of everything
-if I can’t have the first, for the more one gets out of life the better,
-and the more one sees of the world and of the nice people in it the
-wider do our minds become, and the more appreciation and enjoyment do we
-have from our lives.</p>
-
-<p>With the plea for a secondhand billiard-table rather than none, I will
-turn away from the room with one last suggestion&mdash;viz. to have good
-thick curtains hung over any doors that there may be in the room,
-outside; this will keep the smell of the smoke within proper bounds, and
-will also keep out the sound of the click-click of the balls, than which
-nothing is more annoying&mdash;to me at any rate. These curtains could be
-made of Adams serge lined with Bolton sheeting; both these materials
-will wash and are to be had from Burnett’s, and should be very wide and
-full, and should hang well over the hinges and cracks of the door; these
-should further be surrounded by ‘Slater’s patent’ for excluding
-draughts, as naturally the room will be properly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_94" id="page_94"></a>{94}</span> ventilated, and there
-would be no need to think of that, all our care being centred on keeping
-in the room all scent of the smoke and all sound of the balls. If the
-room is separate from the house, and only connected with it by a long
-passage, we may consider, I think, that nothing more is to be expected,
-and that here is indeed the perfect billiard-room. This room should be
-in the care of the head housemaid, whose first duty should be to open
-all the available windows every morning, no matter what the weather is
-like, to see all the cigar-ash is swept up, and finally to slip the
-curtains off the poles (a matter of three minutes exactly), to have them
-well shaken out of doors and left there for half an hour, having them
-replaced the moment the room is cleaned and set straight. Treated like
-this the billiard-room would always be fresh and nice, and would have no
-more smell of smoke about it than would be pleasantly suggestive to
-anyone who is not such a bitter enemy to smoke as I am.</p>
-
-<p>And now about the library, the arrangement of which must depend entirely
-on the individual tastes and pursuits of the master of the house, whose
-room this is more especially; for in all big houses the mistress has her
-morning-room, and the guests generally are provided with writing-tables
-in their rooms, and would only venture into the library when the door
-was open, or by the rule of the house was made free to them during
-certain hours. Naturally, if the master were in no measure a literary
-man, if he had no Parliamentary work, or work that required him to
-isolate himself from the rest of the household at certain hours, the
-room would always be free; but it should be kept for writing and reading
-only, it should never be turned into a play-room of any kind; therefore
-there should be a certain sobriety about it, and it should not be
-furnished too frivolously or in such a manner as to suggest flirtation
-instead of study, sweet sleep instead of proper, severe application to
-one’s books.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps the very prettiest library I have ever seen is one in London,
-which may sound frivolous, but is nothing of the kind, and has some of
-the most serious work of the nation done between its four walls; it is
-enamelled white&mdash;doors, cupboards, bookshelves, overmantel, indeed
-everything, and has a most beautiful effect, especially<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_95" id="page_95"></a>{95}</span> against the
-dun-coloured, gold-tinted calf volumes, with which the shelves are most
-amply supplied; the shelves are supported on cupboards with brass locks
-and hinges, and are wide and deep enough to hold quantities of law
-papers; all these shelves and cupboards are ‘fitments’ passing
-completely round the room, and continuing under the windows. The only
-scraps of wall which show are papered with a very good Japanese leather
-paper, and the space above the mantel-piece is filled in with an old
-portrait; sundry pieces of blue china are on the mantel-piece, which are
-never without their fresh flowers; the carpet is a very fine Oriental
-one, with a great deal of white in it; the furniture is blue, as are the
-curtains, which are arranged across the top of each window and down one
-side only, while the enormous desk which occupies the centre of the room
-is a most exquisitely inlaid piece of marqueterie, and is the only
-coloured thing in the room, the frames of the chairs, &amp;c., being
-enamelled like the room itself. Now this white idea for a library in
-London&mdash;dirty, smoky London&mdash;does seem absurd and a trifle frivolous,
-but the effect thereof is perfect, and as the application of a damp
-clean duster and a polish from a leather makes the room absolutely
-spotless, I see no reason why the white library should be scoffed at as
-an impossibility. A big beaten iron and copper lamp from Strode hangs in
-the centre of the room, and gives the finishing touch to a very perfect
-apartment.</p>
-
-<p>Here the room is used for important work which requires absolute peace
-and absolute solitude, where the books refer to the special subject of
-study, and would be of no interest whatever to the ordinary man. Still,
-a modified edition of the white room could easily be carried out, and
-would be far more cheerful to live with, than the orthodox dark green
-and carved oak, or a base imitation thereof that we find in far too many
-houses; oak, in my opinion, being utterly unsuited to a modern house,
-and should only be used in a big old house where one looks for it as a
-matter of course. Of the modern imitation called Flemish oak I have no
-words of condemnation sufficiently strong; it is abominable, ugly,
-heavy, and badly executed, and should never be tolerated in any house
-where artistic decoration is encouraged and sought after.</p>
-
-<p>If, as I said before, the master of the house does not require<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_96" id="page_96"></a>{96}</span> so much
-space for papers or books as to authorise him to cover in the entire
-wall-space at his command with fitments, I advise him to run his
-bookcases simply round the room to a height of an ordinary dado. Above
-this could be hung the ever-useful Japanese paper, or a real
-red-and-white paper, such as is Pither’s ‘buttercup.’ On the wall could
-be hung pictures, or a large cupboard well designed (and I should
-suggest Mr. Arthur Smee as the proper person to send to for this) should
-break the space of wall in the centre. The doors could be of cathedral
-glass in leaded squares, with broad brass hinges and locks; while the
-same design, of course on a much smaller scale, could be introduced over
-the mantel-piece. The desk could be enamelled white, and the top covered
-with Japanese leather paper. Of course the handles on the drawers must
-be brass; the blotting-book could be of red leather, with a plain
-monogram stamped on, or else the name of the room and of the house; and
-the head housemaid should be very particular about the state of the
-inkstand and of the blotting-book, though she should be forbidden, of
-course, to touch any of the papers on the desk, for fear she might lose
-important manuscripts. The mistress of the house should dust these
-herself if the master is touchy, or objects to other hands meddling with
-his belongings.</p>
-
-<p>The curtains in a library should be thick and warm, and should, in the
-red-and-cream room, be in cream Roman satin, embroidered with red
-flowers if possible, or else of deep red Roman satin or Bokhara plush.
-The furniture sold by Hampton, covered in what they call ‘Khelims,’ but
-which is quite unlike the ordinary striped material I have always
-purchased as such, and is much more Oriental-looking, would do admirably
-in this room, where there should certainly be a couple of good sofas and
-four or five armchairs, and a small writing-table and chair beside the
-bigger one; while great care should be taken with the lighting, it being
-most important that a good light should fall on the book or
-writing-table, which should throw no fidgety shadows. When the electric
-light becomes general this advice will not be necessary, but until it is
-great care must be taken, before the lights are absolutely fixtures, to
-ascertain that they are in the right place, or else the unfortunate
-would-be readers and writers will be continually<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_97" id="page_97"></a>{97}</span> annoyed. The large
-standard lamps are useful in a library, as they can be moved at any
-moment, and further care should be taken in the choice of a carpet,
-which should be thick and soft, and should cover almost all the floor,
-thus saving the student any chance of being fidgeted by the sudden
-scroop of a chair pushed hastily back or by the noise of a falling book
-or of a sudden footstep.</p>
-
-<p>In a small house a library would be impossible, and therefore I give no
-directions for a cheaper style of decoration, which, however, could be
-managed in judiciously chosen shades of green and white, and I will only
-now speak about the books and the manner of treating such a room.</p>
-
-<p>No child or very young person, and no servant, no matter whom, should
-ever be allowed to read the library books, which should never under any
-pretext whatever be removed from the library, and should consist of
-histories, travels, poetry, and all standard works that have survived
-the fiery trial of a twenty years’ existence; the lighter works of
-to-day, which one reads when one is tired or wants simply to be amused,
-should be found in the billiard and morning rooms, and in every spare
-room in the house (Mudie’s books being also in these rooms), and on no
-account whatever should a really good book which forms part of a set, or
-is valuable, be lent; listen to no entreaties, place the book <i>in the
-room</i> at the disposal of anyone who cares to read it, but lend it and
-you may and will run the risk of losing your book, or of having to
-torment for it, until your friend hates you, although in strict justice
-he ought to hate himself for the trouble he has given you. In every
-library and, indeed, in every house, there should be a list of the books
-in each room, and whenever a book is added the name thereof should be
-written down. I speak feelingly, if a little bitterly, on the subject,
-for no one has lent more books than I have, and no one has been more
-ruthlessly robbed; for people who would be absolutely incapable of
-depriving one of a pin, lose and forget to return my books, and at last
-I have come to the conclusion that I will never lend another; books are
-cheap enough, goodness knows, and libraries swarm; let people borrow
-there, and close your heart to the would-be borrower if you want to keep
-your<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_98" id="page_98"></a>{98}</span> books, and not scatter them generously about the world at large.</p>
-
-<p>Again, I should never forbid anyone to read any book whatever&mdash;a
-prohibition makes people anxious at once; but the fact that the library
-books must be kept in the library would deter the children from reading
-what they ought not, and we would forbid certain literature because of
-its binding, not because of the contents; this I have found act much
-better than the wholesale orders we were given on the subject, in
-consequence of which I had read all Defoe’s, Richardson’s, Fielding’s,
-and other works I should never have seen before I was sixteen, and
-wondered why on earth they were forbidden me. I should never have read
-one of them had I not wanted to see why I must not; they did me no harm,
-because I could not understand them; they might have done infinite harm
-to any other girl who was less babyish for her age than I happened in
-some mysterious manner to be, and therefore it is a good thing to keep
-such books where children do not come and where they are forbidden to
-touch books which are too well bound to be risked in their
-all-too-generally grimy little paws.</p>
-
-<p>As in all the other rooms in the house, cheerfulness should be first
-thought of: a gloomy library, a library where the windows are obscured,
-is a mistake; cheerfulness is the first thing to be seriously cultivated
-by us all, in all relations of life, for it is indeed true, as the poet
-says&mdash;</p>
-
-<div class="poetry">
-<div class="poem"><div class="stanza">
-<span class="i0">A merry heart goes all the way,<br /></span>
-<span class="i0">A sad one tires in a mile-a;<br /></span>
-</div></div>
-</div>
-
-<p class="nind">therefore, in choosing and furnishing the library, remember this axiom,
-and let sunshine and brightness and cheerfulness be found there, as in
-every other room and place in the house; for we are insensibly and
-immensely influenced by our surroundings, and we should always make the
-best of our lives and belongings in every way we possibly can.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_99" id="page_99"></a>{99}</span></p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_V" id="CHAPTER_V"></a>CHAPTER V.<br /><br />
-<small>SHALL WE DO AWAY WITH THE NURSERY?</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">It</span> is a hard moment in the life of any woman when she has to make up her
-mind that she cannot any longer consistently retain one of the best
-rooms in the house for the nursery, more especially if she has been able
-to realise her ambition, and to give to her children an ideal chamber,
-where beauty and suitable arrangements for their comfort have been duly
-studied.</p>
-
-<p>I know nothing sadder than an empty nursery. The children, who were as
-much our own as anything on this earth can ever be, have ceased to be
-children. They are still ours, but they are independent creatures; our
-care is no longer absolutely necessary to them. Some may even have
-married, and others may be trying their wings by some short flights from
-the home that will always be theirs, even if they do not care to return
-to it. But, in any case, they are no longer the dear little mites whose
-tiny ailments kept us awake at night, whose clothes and education were
-our unceasing care, and who found their heaven in our presence,
-believing honestly and thankfully that all they had came from us, and
-that we were without a flaw, as omnipotent as we were faultless.</p>
-
-<p>The most melancholy part of middle age is this being left behind by our
-children, the eagerness on their parts to live their own lives and begin
-their own career. But it should not be sad, as it is only what happened
-to our parents, after all, and will happen again in the future
-generation. But all the same, it must be a hardened heart indeed that
-can contemplate an empty nursery and have no other thoughts than how
-best to decorate or use the room for a totally different purpose. There
-is a peculiar <i>serrement de cœur</i>, which, once experienced, can never
-be forgotten, when we enter a room made sacred to us by a thousand
-dreams and romances&mdash;a thousand dreads and fears we have never spoken of
-to any soul on earth, and have to consider how best we can alter it to
-another purpose.</p>
-
-<p>I remember, years ago, going to see a house in which we<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a>{100}</span> had had many,
-many happy hours, and which had just passed from those we knew and loved
-to persons in an inferior station of life, with whom we should never
-have any dealings, and I have never forgotten the feeling of desolation
-that seized me when I looked up at the erstwhile nursery window, from
-which the bars were hanging broken, and remembered the faces that used
-never to be absent from that place&mdash;a feeling that was intensified a
-thousand times when I climbed up to the room itself, and looked for the
-last time on the walls, papered by ourselves with pictures from the
-‘Illustrated News’ (I can remember them all vividly, from the marriage
-of the Princess Royal in one corner to pictures of the American War in
-the other), and recollected the boys who were all out in the world, each
-busy with his own life, with whom I had played, ridden, eaten far too
-much fruit in the sunny garden below the nursery windows (where I verily
-believe it was always fine and hot), and with whom I had risen at dawn
-in many a misty September morning, bent on collecting a great dish of
-mushrooms for breakfast, to surprise the house-mother with&mdash;a surprise
-that she must have been well accustomed to, but which she never failed
-to express; she knew we should have been so disappointed had she seemed
-in the least degree to expect the never-failing dish, though she had a
-hard struggle to be duly elated and not say one word about the draggled
-skirts and wringing wet stockings and boots, which she knew were
-reposing upstairs and would be shown to her in due course and with much
-wrath by Susan, to whose lot it always fell to remedy our dilapidations,
-which she used to say were always worse when I was there to rush about
-with the boys and lead them into mischief and dirt of all kinds.</p>
-
-<p>There can be nothing more extinct on this earth than that dear old
-nursery, closed nearly twenty years ago and utterly swept away, but I
-can never think of it without becoming young again&mdash;without being the
-eldest of that small flock and worshipped as only five small boys can
-worship a London cousin much older than themselves, who yet could enter
-into all their games and excursions with the zest of a girl who has
-never tried living in the country, and sees only the poetical side of
-it; and without remembering the happiest of happy homes, where I cannot
-recollect a cross word,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a>{101}</span> a disagreeable day, or anything but the noise
-of the boys rushing about, the scent of a thousand flowers, the planning
-of a hundred picnics, and a delightful sense of summer and sunshine that
-can never be forgotten, and that has influenced more lives than
-mine&mdash;more even than the generous, hospitable master and mistress will
-ever know&mdash;though perhaps he does in the rest he won so worthily and in
-the Heaven that must hold anyone who was as generous and good as he was
-to the many, many relations with whom he filled his house, and to whom
-he always gave a hearty welcome.</p>
-
-<p>But no doubt there are a great many other nurseries just like this
-one&mdash;and, indeed, I know of several&mdash;so I would beg my readers to bear
-with me while I speak of these rooms, and beg them not to make a clean
-sweep of the nursery altogether until they are positively obliged to do
-so, not because there may be other babies to come, but because the
-nursery is useful for a thousand things, and it makes such a dreadful
-difference in a house when the room is completely altered and turned
-into a room for the maid who takes the place of the nurse, perhaps, or
-into a sitting-room for the girls or boys. Don’t let this be done, dear
-readers, until you are absolutely crowded out, because you will be
-miserable, and because you can never tell that the room may not be
-wanted as a sanitorium; an upstairs sitting-room, a refuge for our
-grandchildren, should we have married children, and should they be
-coming to stay with us, and bring their babies in due course of time;
-while the room having been decorated and furnished as a nursery is that
-and nothing else, and would have to be completely altered, should we
-settle to do away with it altogether.</p>
-
-<p>Now, I want you to look just for a moment at the picture I have had
-drawn here of an empty nursery and see how admirably it is adapted for
-the purpose, and how cruel it would be to sweep away all these corners
-and shelves. You will notice how the cupboard fills in the recess
-between the fire and the wall, and you will see how a doll’s-house
-should be arranged, and then, I am sure, you will think twice about
-weeding out all this, and doing away with things that may give pleasure
-to future generations, particularly when we must all number among our
-acquaintances<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a>{102}</span> people with children, who come to tea, and will enjoy
-their tea twice as much if the children can be relegated to old nurse
-and the room where all is prepared for the small guests, who will for
-the moment take the place of those who are still children to us, albeit
-they are as old as we were when we began housekeeping ourselves, and set
-up a nursery with the pride and consequence inseparable from that most
-important step; while we can look hopefully forward to other small
-visitors who will be delighted to play with ‘mother’s old toys,’ and to
-hear things about that mother’s childhood, which can only be told them
-by an authority on the subject.</p>
-
-<p>The nursery I have had sketched here is, of course, a much more
-expensive and elaborate room than could be suggested to folks with small
-incomes, but will serve as an example, I hope even in little houses,
-although, as those were amply catered for in my first book, I do not
-feel so bound to consider them as I did then. I should always have a
-real dado in any nursery. The one used here is of Indian matting, which
-is as neat and clean after ten years’ use as it was the day it was put
-up. By the way, a dado should be secured at the top with rather a
-heavier rail than the one illustrated, and this should be screwed on,
-not nailed. The screws can be removed at any moment, and the dado taken
-down. In the case of a cretonne dado this could be washed at any moment,
-while stuff or matting could be brushed or shaken; but I have taken down
-matting after ten years on a wall, which was sized before the matting
-was put up, and have never found the smallest dirt behind it, while the
-wall remained absolutely intact for that space of time, and, indeed, is
-as good as new now, after fifteen years’ wear, at least, I hear it is;
-unfortunately we have moved twice since then, and I cannot possibly
-inspect the matting to verify this statement for myself as I should like
-to do; but ten years is a long time, and, in these roving days of ours,
-when all too rarely do houses descend from father to son, is quite space
-enough for most of us.</p>
-
-<p>Above the matting&mdash;which should be the kind sold by Treloar, in Ludgate
-Circus, for 35<i>s.</i> the roll of 40 yards&mdash;can be put any pretty blue
-paper. Pither’s new blue bay-tree paper, at 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, is charming,
-and is of a colour that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a>{103}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_15" id="ill_15"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-103_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-103_sml.jpg" width="303" height="450" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 15.&mdash;An Empty Nursery." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 15.&mdash;An Empty Nursery.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a>{104}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">we never tire of. The paint could be the same shade of blue; the tiny
-cornice should be coloured cream, and the ceiling paper should be
-Maple’s cheap yellow and white one, at 4½<i>d.</i> a piece. This could be
-cleaned twice a year with stale bread, and, as it is so cheap, could be
-replaced the moment it showed signs of becoming in the least degree
-shabby. The best toys could be arranged round the room on the shelf,
-which could be painted blue, and further appropriate decorations could
-be made by tennis rackets and skipping ropes if desired, albeit I should
-prefer a picture there of some kind or other, or else a lamp hanging out
-over the fireplace, beyond the reach of little fingers which might
-hanker after the fascinating occupation of lowering the light or putting
-it up to such an extent that the glass might be smashed in less than no
-time.</p>
-
-<p>The short curtains and absence of blinds which I always advocate, and
-which idea has been largely copied and adopted, are just indicated in
-the picture, as is the long straight seat under the windows, which would
-take the place of the sofa if there were not room for one; but the
-useful serge or arras cloth should be used instead of cretonne here, as
-cretonne so soon gets out of order in a place which is so much used as
-such a window-seat might be. Corduroy velveteen would also make an
-admirable covering, and would always be, in a measure, tidy. It is
-possible to make these window-seats do double duty as a seat and also as
-a box, for instead of the front being a ‘hollow mockery,’ as it is when
-it is a simple frill and nothing else, it could be a wooden box, and the
-seat could be a padded lid, which could lift up and down. A small frill
-nailed on the top of the seat would conceal the opening, and the front
-of the box could be covered with frilled material like small organ
-pipes. This would hold any quantity of work, old books, magazines, and
-rubbish generally: rubbish which is of no use at all, but is absolutely
-priceless to the little owners.</p>
-
-<p>I think anyone who has ever owned a dolls’-house will admire my idea for
-a fixed one, because all who have ever possessed a similar abode must
-have occasionally pulled it down about the ears when engaged in an
-orthodox game with this most fascinating toy, at least it used to be
-fascinating in my day; judging from my two girls no one can care now for
-them, for the beauty we had has long since gone to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a>{105}</span> a hospital, owing to
-the absolute indifference with which its many charms were treated by our
-children. But if there still exist any small maidens who treat their
-houses as we used to, I am sure this arrangement of cupboard shelves
-with a real house front and a flap to let down, properly painted of
-course like a hall door, with windows above, must commend itself to
-them. The flap makes a table for dolls’ meals and parties, and is very
-useful for house cleaning, which delightful occupation invariably
-occurred in my day every Saturday regularly; but then we used to cover
-up our furniture with dust-sheets when we went to the seaside, and,
-furthermore, always deposited our wills in the drawing-room bureau under
-the same adventurous and dangerous circumstances, sealing the house at
-one side with the device of a dove bearing an olive-branch in its mouth,
-so that we might be quite sure profane hands had not meddled with our
-house or our possessions during our absence. I do not know if in these
-grown-up days of ours, and of competitive examinations and women’s
-rights, there is time or inclination either for elaborate games, such as
-we used to play over the dolls’-house, but I hope there is, as nothing
-is more truly engaging than such a possession, for which netting new
-curtains, and making new furniture, even occupied the boys, while, of
-course, we were never tired of altering and arranging and making too.
-Little as I work or care for working, I am sure I should enjoy making a
-Berlin-wool carpet now for someone‘s dolls’-house, only, unfortunately,
-I don’t know anyone who has one. I should not require a pattern; I
-remember the black diamonds accurately, each diamond being filled with a
-different coloured wool, making a <i>tout ensemble</i> to be feared, indeed,
-in these æsthetic days of ours.</p>
-
-<p>Many a wet afternoon has been happily passed in washing and ‘getting up’
-our net curtains for the windows, in rearranging them and tying them up
-with ribands bought at Whiteley’s, when it was one wee shop served by
-the Universal Provider himself and two girls, for which we saved our
-money; and I sincerely believe my first love of decoration and adornment
-of the house was fostered, if it were not born, of the intense
-attachment I had for my dolls’-house, at the desk of which I wrote my
-first attempt at poetry&mdash;and very awful it was&mdash;and to whose sheltering
-care I confided many a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a>{106}</span> packet of MSS., which I was always going to
-submit to a publisher, but which paucity of stamps kept safely in the
-dolls’-house until I was old enough to know what utter rubbish I had
-written, and how worthily it would have been rapidly entombed in the
-waste-paper basket.</p>
-
-<p>Below the dolls’-house illustrated there is a drawer, which can hold any
-amount of odds and ends, and of course the whole side of the room could
-be dolls’-house if cupboard space were not required, but, as it may be,
-the cupboard is shown above the house, decorated with a spray of
-flowers, painted by someone who knows how to paint; not by any amateur
-dauber, for you must never allow bad art in your nursery, even if you
-know it will have to be done away with in a comparatively short time.
-The other side of the fireplace can be another cupboard; this should be
-treated exactly like the one shown, of course without the dolls’-house.
-This will give ample space for all the nursery belongings, for no one
-should be allowed to hoard, though a certain amount of rubbish should
-always be winked at, but broken toys and torn books should be mended and
-patched&mdash;capital work that for wet days&mdash;and should always be sent off
-to the omnivorous Sisters at Kilburn, who can use anything, it doesn’t
-matter what, and who will welcome as treasures what the children will no
-longer use; therefore nothing should be thrown away. Nurses and children
-alike all enjoy mending and making for the Kilburn orphans, if only they
-are told about them and asked to take an interest in the good work done
-there. I have looked about all over London, I think, since writing my
-first book to find a suitable floor-covering for the nursery, and have
-not satisfied myself quite that I have done it. I cannot like or in any
-way advise linoleum there. It is cold, ugly, and there is an undeniable
-odour about it that never leaves it, and therefore I do not like to see
-it in a room which should always be as pretty as we can make it. I
-think, therefore, it is best to buy a square carpet, with either a
-border or else a good woollen fringe round, and put this down over
-carpet felt. Wallace’s ‘blue anemone’ Brussels carpet, at 3<i>s.</i> 11<i>d.</i> a
-yard, would wear some years, or a cheaper carpet still might be had in
-the ‘blue lily,’ at 3<i>s.</i> 9<i>d.</i>, wide width; but I should prefer the
-Brussels for really hard wear. The staining round the room should not be
-more than 12 inches wide,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a>{107}</span> and should be done with Jackson’s varnish
-stains. When the stained boards begin to get shabby the nursemaid can
-paint them over herself with some stain, and they can be kept in order
-by a weekly polish from the stuff sold by Jackson for the purpose. Half
-a gallon of the stain is sufficient for a margin round a good-sized
-room. This would cost 6<i>s.</i>, and proper directions for applying the
-stains are sent out with them. Personally, I prefer the dark oak or
-walnut stain to any of the others. There should never be a hearth-rug in
-any room; but I must again state this in connection with the nursery, it
-would only cause accidents, and would serve at least to conceal the
-depredations of a careless nursemaid, who cannot refrain from making
-that portion of the carpet filthy with carelessness when she is doing
-the grate if she should be provided with a rug with which to cover up
-her sins. The carpet can be turned round to ensure equal wear if the
-square is made as suggested, and should last quite ten years, which is
-as long as any carpet should be allowed to last, in my opinion; an older
-carpet being a repository of dirt and dust, and therefore cannot be
-healthy, a reason why I should never advocate very expensive carpets, as
-I much prefer to be able to have a new one without too much exertion on
-my part, especially in bedrooms, and in such rooms as nurseries and
-schoolrooms.</p>
-
-<p>I am, however, again describing a nursery, and this instead of calmly
-discussing how best to do away with it; but I will make a confession
-here, and then I fear I shall show how bad an advocate I should prove
-were I called in to advise how best to do away with this room, which in
-all real homes is the very heart of the household. For be it known to my
-readers, that, as my youngest child was eight years old, I determined,
-Spartan-like, to do away with the nursery, and converted the room into a
-sitting and sleeping room for my nurse, who was henceforth to act as
-maid; the young person, who was as her own baby, being taken from her
-and sent to share her sister’s rooms, one of which was to be part
-school, part sitting room; but we were all so uncomfortable I had no
-heart to continue the arrangement. When small friends came to tea there
-was nowhere for them to go; wet days were things to be dreaded because
-the child had no real place of her own for her things, and, after
-struggling on for nearly a year, we have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a>{108}</span> returned to the nursery,
-although we try our hardest to call it school-room, and are now so much
-happier in consequence.</p>
-
-<p>Another problem&mdash;should we do away with the nursery&mdash;is, What is to
-become of the nurse? You may call her a maid and give her your garments
-to look after, and tell her she must now take on her the work of a maid,
-but she will never do this properly; she will miss her room and her
-occupation, and she will move about miserably, missing the children and
-yet not knowing what she misses, and will neither be useful nor
-pleasant. But leave her her nursery, and one child if possible, and she
-will be quite happy; and, much as we may hanker after a maid, the ideal
-creature who shall never have to be told that buttons are off or skirts
-torn, who shall make our every-day dresses and retrim our bonnets, we
-owe something to the nurse who has looked after the children at the
-worst and most critical time of their lives, and are bound, if we cannot
-afford the two luxuries, to sacrifice the maid and cling to the nurse.
-And be quite sure if we do we shall be rewarded; the children may be
-grown up, but even grown-up folks have colds and headaches, and
-sometimes worse ailments than these, and who so fit to keep watch over
-these ailments as the nurse, who has gallantly steered us through
-measles, whooping-cough, and the thousand ailments other people’s
-selfishness is always handing on from generation to generation?&mdash;no one,
-surely; and if she and the nursery are retained together, there is
-always someone who knows what to do in an emergency, and a place to go
-to to be petted and quieted and made much of, as only a nurse can do who
-has had her nurslings from the first and loves them as only their mother
-and nurse know how to love. We have two such nurses in our family: I
-one, my sister the other, and I can never advise doing away with any
-nursery when I remember all that this may probably mean to others beside
-the householders themselves.</p>
-
-<p>In a large house, therefore&mdash;a house where, let us hope, people mean to
-stay some years&mdash;this is an extra reason for making the nursery as
-pretty as possible. One cannot be very sentimental over a schoolroom;
-there is always a suspicion of ogre’s castle about that room, and it can
-invariably be turned into the girls’ sitting-room or into a
-billiard-room at the earliest opportunity, but all the sentiment of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a>{109}</span> the
-home is to be found in the nursery, where the children are without a
-care or a trouble, and where they are gaining strength and health for
-the battle of life; therefore, let us never grudge any money we can
-afford being spent upon the nursery. As I said before, I always consider
-blue by far the pleasantest colour to live with, which is one reason why
-I advocate blue in the nursery; but of course endless combinations of
-colour could be had which would be equally pleasing and successful, but
-not as nice to live with always. However, I will give one or two which
-might perhaps be liked better by people who are not as fully convinced
-as I am on the merits of blue.</p>
-
-<p>A pink and cream nursery would be pretty and bright, and could be
-managed by using Pither’s cream and pink bay-tree paper, all cream
-paint, and a dado; the dado of Haines’ anaglypta, painted cream, the
-ceiling paper should be J. &amp; H. Land’s green and white ‘Watteau’
-ceiling, at 3<i>s.</i>, the carpet should be either the green ‘lily,’ or
-‘Stella,’ or ‘anemone,’ from Wallace, and the cretonne should be
-Oetzmann’s sage-green ‘algæ’ cretonne, at 1<i>s.</i> 3½<i>d.</i>, the muslin
-curtains being, if possible, of Helbronner’s pink and green ‘lily’
-muslin, an expensive muslin but a very lovely one, which would complete
-the room nicely. The furniture should be ash and as simple as possible,
-and the flowers on the cupboard should be the pink flowering rush with
-slender reeds, and a few pale Marguerites. Yet another decoration could
-be made by using a high dado of Liberty’s nut-brown arras cloth, at
-9¾<i>d.</i> a yard; this would be sufficiently high to allow of the toy-shelf
-being used instead of a dado-rail; above this the paper should be
-Pither’s ‘Buttercup, C,’ at 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, a dull yellow-brown paper; all
-the paint should be ‘golden-brown,’ the ceiling paper should be yellow
-and white, the curtains yellow ‘Venetian’ cretonne, reversible, at 1<i>s.</i>
-1<i>d.</i>, clear Indian muslin underneath, and the carpet should be Pither’s
-golden-brown cottage carpet. This scheme sounds dull, but were anyone so
-unfortunate as to be condemned to use a sunless room as a nursery, she
-would find this arrangement would bring the sunshine into the room in a
-remarkable manner; while dark-blue curtains, carpet, and coverings would
-make the room less severe and be equally satisfactory, more especially
-if Colbourne’s Hawthorne muslin in yellow and white were<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a>{110}</span> placed next
-the window. Still, in a sunless room, one cannot have too much yellow;
-yellow serge would be found useful here for curtains should the windows
-be large, or a draught come in which would be too much for the cretonne
-to keep out, though cretonne should always be lined with Burnett’s
-sateen at <i>7d.</i> a yard, and for a nursery should be edged with frills;
-the ball-fringe is really too tempting for small children, who cannot
-resist the delights of pulling off the little tufts wherever they are
-within reach of their fingers.</p>
-
-<p>A most successful decoration, if rather a dainty one, was carried out
-under my directions the other day, and may be mentioned here, as variety
-is always pleasing to some minds, and it may be liked by those who
-approve of bright colours; it consisted in staining all the woodwork
-with Jackson’s malachite green stain and papering the walls with
-Pither’s admirable red and cream ‘buttercup’ paper, the ceiling being
-papered with a pale green and white paper; the floor was covered with a
-green drugget from Barr &amp; Elliott’s, at 2<i>s.</i> a yard, wide width, which
-is wearing admirably, and all the furniture was in quaint stained wood
-from Mr. Armitage, examples of which are illustrated in the chapter on
-kitchens; the settle, table, and chairs, being all made by him, as were
-the mantel and over-mantel; in the centre of this latter piece of
-furniture was placed a square of looking-glass, though I personally
-should have preferred a good autotype in the red tints. The tiles in the
-grate were red, and there was the orthodox high fender with brass rails,
-which should never be wanting in any room where there are children; the
-table-cloth and curtains were of green serge, the exact shade of the
-staining, and the room altogether was far prettier than I had expected
-it to be, although I must confess my expectations were very high.</p>
-
-<p>Out of one of these schemes of decoration&mdash;and I am glad to say that all
-are possible, for Pither, among others, will always keep in stock any
-paper that has really found favour with the public; therefore I am not
-recommending what will be out of anyone’s power to possess almost before
-these words are in type, as was the case a very few years ago&mdash;it will
-be quite easy to evolve a nursery in the new house which will be so
-pretty and appealing to the inhabitants,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a>{111}</span> that when the last baby is a
-tall young person, either rejoicing in knickerbockers or a frock, or in
-being in the schoolroom as a matter of course, and who goes for walks
-and has meals in company with the elders&mdash;and we are forced to consider
-the problem with which I headed this chapter&mdash;we may reply unanimously,
-No; not as long as nurse lives, nor as long as there is the very
-smallest chance of illness or of our having to entertain small visitors.
-For these even the cots and high chairs should be retained; they do not
-eat anything, as one of our old nurses used to say when I wanted to give
-away some of the treasures, and they may even come in for the
-grandchildren, who will appreciate, as no one else can, the fact that
-they are having just what their parents had, and sitting and sleeping in
-the very beds and chairs they used to patronise. It is from the mistakes
-of others we learn most, and I have never forgotten the lamentations
-among old servants at home, when the nurseries being done away with and
-every cot scattered to the four winds of heaven, my mother had to borrow
-cots and turn the house almost upside down to take in her grandchildren,
-who were suddenly sent to her to be looked after during a sudden stress
-of illness, an inconvenience that caused endless worry and bustle, but
-would have been nothing at all had the old nurseries still been as they
-were, and which, as a rule, can be easily managed in a big house where
-the nurseries have been properly arranged for.</p>
-
-<p>Then, too, the position of the two rooms close together, and generally a
-little way removed from the rest of the house, though not at the top, I
-beg, makes them a most admirable place for an invalid to retire to;
-there is always a chance of illness&mdash;aye, even serious illness&mdash;as one
-gets on in life, and all sorts of disagreeable things remind one that
-one is not immortal; and though, as a rule, houses are built
-emphatically to live in, and neither to be ill nor die in&mdash;though,
-despite the architects, both these unpleasant matters are possible&mdash;one
-can generally in a large house manage that the nurseries shall be close
-together and quiet; therefore, they should be kept apart for our own
-use. We could be ill most comfortably in the night nursery, and
-convalescent in the day nursery, which could, however, be used for our
-nurse did we require one, and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a>{112}</span> cheerful pretty papers and the
-thoughts that would be inseparable from these rooms would alike help us
-to bear our woes, while we could have nurse to talk to and to ‘do for
-us’ as no one else could&mdash;no one who did not know us thoroughly, and,
-having seen us in sickness and in health, in adversity and prosperity,
-knows exactly what we can bear and how to manage us best.</p>
-
-<p>Thinking over everything, then, considering carefully what the nurseries
-have been and what they may be, I do most seriously beg all my
-contemporaries to pause a very long time before they lay a ruthless hand
-on what was once as sacred as a shrine. No amount of decoration can
-embellish walls decorated with the hopes and joys of our youth, and
-one’s first playing at Motherhood; no other paper and paint give us the
-idea, or remind us as do the old papers and paint, of a thousand and one
-things no one can possibly want to forget; not even the miseries endured
-during serious illness, the anxieties turned into joy, or may be
-deepened into dreadful gloom by death itself, should be forgotten; aye,
-a thousand times should they be remembered if this be the case, and,
-though this is an impatient age when no one wants to think, and when
-death is treated so lightly that people are in society and deepest black
-at the same time, and when all are so impatient of the sorrow death
-brings with it, that ‘no one stays at home except the corpse,’ I trust I
-shall not number many of them among my readers, or indeed anyone who
-cannot and will not thankfully remember their past, and as they grow
-old, Darby and Joan together, will not spare time to look back gladly
-and happily to days which were better, perhaps, than the present days of
-feeble steps and darkened lights, but which are no less happy if Edwin
-and Angelina are still hand int hand and heart to heart, and have proved
-for themselves the absolute truth that where marriage is begun in love,
-continued in love, and ended in love, it can never be anything save
-success, and that anyone who calls it a failure must know absolutely
-nothing whatever about it. To such a couple as this, the nurseries must
-always be sacred places, and they will be as reluctant as I am to do
-away with them. I think, therefore, I may take it for granted that
-unless absolutely pressed for room we shall retain our nurseries,
-keeping them fresh and bright and nice in case<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a>{113}</span> we are ill, or in case
-we have our grandchildren to see us, or in case we have small visitors,
-who, being provided with suitable rooms, are nothing but a pleasure to
-us, when otherwise they might be nothing except a trouble and a
-nuisance.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VI" id="CHAPTER_VI"></a>CHAPTER VI.<br /><br />
-<small>THE GIRLS’ ROOM.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">In</span> writing about the girls’ room, I mean to consider a great deal more
-than decoration, though naturally that will not be neglected, for I am
-more and more convinced as years go by that something definite must be
-done in the way of providing for the women who flood the market and
-struggle&mdash;alas! that it should be so&mdash;in the open streets with men for
-their living, instead of contenting themselves with being the helpmeets
-of those with whom they wage this unseemly warfare. I have a very strong
-opinion that people should not bring into the world any more children
-than they can reasonably hope to equip in some measure for the fight.
-Boys can always make their way, women cannot; and though I do not agree
-with Mr. Besant, who declares that women hate work and do not wish ever
-to do anything, I do think that no woman should be obliged to work for
-mere food and clothes&mdash;at all events in the ranks above the lower middle
-classes; and that no woman’s constitution can stand the anxiety of
-providing her own sustenance, and at the same time doing work to procure
-this sustenance; for anxiety paralyses a woman, and the more she is
-obliged to take thought for the morrow the less able is she to ensure
-the morrow’s being provided for by her work. She should, therefore,
-never be placed in a position in which she is literally forced out into
-public strife, unless from her very earliest days she has been brought
-up among workers and taught that her future can be nothing but severe
-toil.</p>
-
-<p>Can one speak too strongly of the wicked selfishness of people who bring
-ten or eleven children into the world, knowing that, were they to die
-to-morrow, the unhappy<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a>{114}</span> creatures would either starve, or do worse than
-starve in the workhouse or in one of those excellent and stony-hearted
-institutions where the child becomes a unit among hundreds of uniformed
-units, with never a pretty frock or sash among them, and never a chance
-of anything save work outside the walls and of an ultimate grave?&mdash;of
-the insensate and odious conduct of those parents who bring up their
-children to have every single thing they require, and then, when the
-girls do not marry and grow old at home, leave them penniless when
-totally unable to work, because they have never known they must&mdash;never
-have learned a single thing worth knowing, and that they must either
-starve genteelly or live on their overburdened relations, or add to the
-already fearful number of people who paint dreadful little tables and
-tambourines, sew infamously, or try the thousand and one ways of making
-a little money, which cheapen the market and bring institutions for the
-sale of work done by ladies into the profoundest contempt? I say that
-the State should interfere, and force a man to lay by for his daughters,
-at least so much that will keep them from such an end, or to give them
-such an education that at any moment they could work&mdash;could do the work
-that from their earliest days they should learn is waiting for them in
-the near future; and that if a man’s own sense will not teach him that
-he has no right to make helpless women suffer (as women must suffer who
-find themselves destitute in middle age), he should be treated like a
-criminal and punished by a jury, which should be composed of women who
-have suffered in their turn through their parents’ selfishness.
-Naturally this would be impossible, but I do wish men’s consciences
-could be awakened, and every successful man who is working hard,
-spending all he makes, and adding yearly to the frocked darlings in the
-nursery with scarcely an <i>arrière pensée</i>, would remember in the dead of
-the night, when one’s sins generally find one out, that the day of
-reckoning will come&mdash;that some day the children brought up in luxury and
-accustomed to think the world their own will be faded spinsters (for out
-of a large family some are sure to remain unmarried in these days), and
-that all the sweetness and light of the early life will be forgotten,
-and the father will be cursed when these faded, sorrowful women have to
-look forward to nothing but patient starvation or a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a>{115}</span> corner grudged to
-them by their more successful relations, to whom they can never be
-anything save incumbrances; for these disappointed ones of the earth
-always resent prosperity in anyone else, and are apt to snarl and snap
-at those who dole them out the bread they so unwillingly take.</p>
-
-<p>Why should not the State compel every working man with two or more
-daughters (after two the case should be legislated for) to pay in a part
-of his income to some fund for providing for the women? And by working
-men I mean those who have no capital except their brains&mdash;the artists,
-lawyers, clergymen, professional men of all kinds, who have nothing but
-themselves to depend upon. The man making and spending his 1,500<i>l.</i> a
-year should be forced to put by at least 200<i>l.</i> a year for the poor
-girls who come into the world without their own consent, and who are
-left absolutely destitute, save of a certain amount of distaste for
-anything save enjoyment, and an absolute dislike of doing anything save
-just what it pleases them to do at the moment; while at the same time a
-properly mapped-out education should be provided that will enable them
-to earn something in addition to the pittance the State would be keeping
-for them against a rainy day, but which would be something on which they
-could rely with certainty, and which would allow them to contemplate
-possible illness without the deadly sinking that fills the breast of any
-woman who has absolutely nothing but her own self to rely upon, and who
-knows she must starve or seek the cold comfort of the corner mentioned
-before if she cannot continue her labour.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot put the case too strongly before the fathers and mothers who
-may read this book; for, after all, they must be their own State, and do
-their own legislating. They must not have enormous families that they
-cannot feed, clothe, or educate respectably; and they must so manage
-their affairs that the girls can rely on the 100<i>l.</i> a year, which is
-all I ask for&mdash;all that is absolutely necessary to keep a single woman
-in comfort, but not luxury; the luxuries must be earned or gone without.
-They must do this, I say, unless they wish to look down from whence they
-may go after death, and have their hearts lacerated and torn by the
-sight of the women they have left to starve and to curse those who have
-entailed so much misery on<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a>{116}</span> them. There surely would be some insurance
-company who would undertake to do for all what the Edinburgh Life
-Assurance Company, 11 King William Street, E.C., does for
-schoolmistresses who like to pay in a certain amount yearly&mdash;viz. pay
-them a pension at a certain age, or else a sum of money, whichever they
-prefer; and the parents could, as soon as they added another daughter to
-the household, begin providing for her. If they cannot do this, I
-maintain they are absolutely wicked in adding that little life to the
-overwhelming population already here.</p>
-
-<p>There is no misery to be compared to the misery of a woman who, never
-having imagined her future can be aught but a sheltered one, finds
-herself at middle age absolutely destitute and at the mercy of her
-relations. She has no claim on anyone but her parents, and she knows
-this, and suffers infinitely. Therefore those parents must contemplate
-this: must understand that marriage does not come to the lot of
-everyone, and that, even if it does, the woman should not go penniless
-to her husband, but should have some small allowance to enable her to
-feel independent, and to add to her house, or her children’s pleasures,
-out of her own resources. Here, again, I mention the 100<i>l.</i> a year.
-Each girl in an upper middle-class family&mdash;the professional man’s
-family&mdash;cannot possibly cost any amount less than that; in the case, of
-course, of some, 50<i>l.</i> would be amply sufficient, and this sum should
-be allowed yearly as long as the father lived; after which, insurance
-money should be forthcoming that would insure something at all events,
-if not quite as much as they have been having.</p>
-
-<p>If, however, it is absolutely impossible for a man to give his daughters
-anything&mdash;in which case they ought most distinctly never to have been
-born&mdash;he is bound to tell them so honestly from their earliest days, and
-he is equally bound to give them such an education that at any moment
-they can earn something, either as domestic servants&mdash;and, for my part,
-I would, and far rather, be a parlourmaid than a nursery governess&mdash;or
-as Board school teachers, designers, or as members of such of the home
-branches of toil as are open to women who cannot aspire to the higher
-education and the advantages of Girton and similar establishments.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a>{117}</span></p>
-
-<p>Of course the subject of woman’s work is one on which volumes have been
-written, and volumes might still be compiled from the same source, and I
-could not naturally go into all the <i>pros</i> and <i>cons</i> of each occupation
-in this chapter, even if I knew them all, which I do not; but I do
-strongly beg my readers to dissuade their girls from competing with the
-men; they only lower prices, and, finally, prevent the men from marrying
-them by giving themselves one less chance of fulfilling the proper end
-of their sex&mdash;viz. to make a home in the fullest sense of the word.
-There is plenty for women to do without scratching and fighting with the
-men. If only they can realise that fact I shall not have written in
-vain.</p>
-
-<p>I have had lately a great deal to do with women who have to earn their
-own living, and I have never found one who really could and would work
-at anything that turned up who could not add in an appreciable manner to
-her income; but I have also found hundreds who would not even try to do
-what I could offer them, but who preferred to dabble with paint, to
-embroider hideous cushions no one wants, and which cost pounds to make,
-to undertaking the ‘smocking,’ the upholstery, and, above all, the
-dressmaking and cooking with which any sensible woman, who is honest and
-hard-working, can keep herself and manage to get along comfortably. No;
-if they can’t get just the work they want, they will not take any; or,
-if they take it, they grumble; don’t return it at the time they promise;
-and, finally, are so unbusinesslike that their employers are in despair,
-and vow that, come what may, they will never employ a so-called lady
-again.</p>
-
-<p>And it is also astonishing to me how the mere fact of being gently born
-seems to these poor things to excuse all their failings. Rickety
-screens, impossible pictures, frightful woollies&mdash;all must be sold at a
-higher rate for them than for anyone else, because they are made by
-ladies. And so it should be if ladies understood that, because they are
-ladies, they should be more punctual and better workers than the poorer
-classes, if their ladyhood were a hall-mark instead of a screen for
-their misdemeanours. But they will not see this, and in consequence they
-bring discredit on their order, and make the very words ‘Poor lady!’
-synonymous with everything that is bad and absolutely unsaleable.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a>{118}</span></p>
-
-<p>To be a successful worker one must take the work which comes before one,
-and one must be trained to work, to punctuality, and to business habits;
-therefore, if there be one of the families of daughters no other nation
-produces in the reckless way our own does, it is imperative that the
-training to work begins in the nursery, and that the defenceless girls
-are given this equipment at least, even if the parents can do no more
-for them.</p>
-
-<p>The boys are born to work; they are carefully trained and brought up for
-this end, but there are hundreds of cases where the fathers have either
-been suddenly ruined or become poor through illness or their own
-selfishness, and who turn the girls out in their turn, and are much
-astonished when the poor things flounder hopelessly about and cannot
-keep themselves, because they have had absolutely no training which
-shall fit them for work.</p>
-
-<p>I feel, in writing this chapter, which concerns the girls of the
-household, that I cannot say too much about the subject of some
-provision being made for them, and that they should be relieved not only
-from the necessity of having to find a market for unskilled labour, but
-also from the trial of marrying if they do not want to do so, or if they
-do not see anyone they really love, because their parents are
-continually telling them it is their duty to marry in order to make room
-for their younger sisters.</p>
-
-<p>Now, incredible as it may sound to male ears, there are very many women
-to whom marriage and the obligations and responsibilities entailed
-thereby are absolutely distasteful and disagreeable. As a rule, these
-women make the best wives and house-mothers, but they are not the
-happiest people in the world, and would probably have been both happier
-and better had they followed out their own inclinations and lived their
-own lives in their own way, without the constant presence of a man and
-the unceasing cares of a household on their shoulders. They do not
-understand Love with a big L, and passion and they are strangers for
-ever, and always would be, but they marry at their parents’ request, to
-clear out the nest, and they certainly miss the higher happiness which,
-perchance, might have come had they waited, either from their work or
-from meeting the one individual who might have roused their sleeping
-souls and shown them a glimpse of the paradise<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a>{119}</span> that exists, I believe,
-for those lucky natures who understand what we may call the ‘Ouidaesque’
-aspect of the case; albeit I also think they use up rapidly in that
-short sojourn in Paradise, which serves more sober-minded folk for the
-whole of life’s journey. For myself I cannot speak. I am a prosaic,
-unsentimental individual, and so far have got on without sentiment very
-well indeed; but other people may not be as I am, and may endure misery
-by marrying the first man who asks them because they see plainly how
-desperately they are grudged the room in the house which should have
-been theirs for ever, and from which they should have been allowed to go
-reluctantly to the husband, who appreciates his wife a thousandfold if
-he understands he is only allowed possession on sufferance, and that she
-was wanted by her own people quite as badly as ever he could want her
-himself.</p>
-
-<p>And this brings me round to the question of giving the girls their own
-room in the house, where they can do just what they please, and where
-they can ask their own friends to tea should they desire to do so; not,
-however, in the American way, which empowers the young people to have
-festivals whenever they like, and to ask whom they like to them, but in
-a mitigated form, which compels them to ask permission to entertain, and
-furthermore to produce a list of names, so that full knowledge may be
-the mother’s portion, and that she may know exactly who is coming, and,
-moreover, what is going on. If the girls have their own sitting-room,
-they feel their residence under the paternal roof is meant to last as
-long as the roof itself, and they have not that hurried, disagreeable
-feeling some unfortunate girls must be given by the parents who make no
-provision for their permanent comfort, and who openly speak of what they
-shall do when So-and-so gets married; poor So-and-so, who has never had
-an offer in her life, and shrinks away from every man she sees, as she
-cannot help regarding him as the monster who carries off a damsel
-whether she wishes it or not, because the fetish of home has to be
-appeased, and the fabric kept together by the quick sacrifice of those
-who are old enough to be chained to the rock to await his advances.</p>
-
-<p>The home&mdash;of the making and the decorating, the management, and the
-keeping together of which I feel I can<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a>{120}</span> never say too much&mdash;cannot
-possibly be made too happy, too pleasant for the younger members of it;
-but they in their turn must understand that they, too, have their part
-in the whole to perform. The grown-up daughter in such a home is a most
-precious possession; she can save her mother endless trouble, she can
-and does take the burden of most of the detail on her shoulders, and for
-her, therefore, should be arranged some place, no matter how small, that
-she can call her own, and where she can in some measure do much as she
-likes, for she is sure to have some pet occupation&mdash;friends to write to,
-work to do, all sorts of things to see about, and which she can only
-attend to in a room set apart for her and her belongings.</p>
-
-<p>In many cases the schoolroom makes an admirable girls’ room, but should
-this room be occupied by the younger children when the elder daughter is
-‘out’ and requires a room to herself, a capital arrangement could be
-made for her by copying the French fashion of a boudoir-bedroom, an
-arrangement for which is illustrated here, and which my artist has
-adapted from a room I used to have in my Dorsetshire house, where space
-was a great object, and where the downstairs rooms were so badly managed
-that it was impossible to have a morning-room in which I could sit,
-although there were two tiny rooms beside the dining-and drawing-rooms,
-which we turned into bachelors’ bedrooms, and which constituted our only
-spare rooms for some time. These rooms were larger than need be bestowed
-on the eldest girl of a house, and were made by removing the partition
-between a bed-and dressing-room; the bed and dressing-table, which also
-served as a washhand-stand, were completely screened off by a long and
-very tall Japanese screen; the cabinet, which stands by the side of the
-bed, held a quantity of linen, &amp;c., and always looked very decorative,
-and not in the least like the humble chest of drawers that it
-undoubtedly was; while the couch in the first window served as a sofa,
-and, furthermore, held any quantity of dresses, supplemented as it was
-by the cupboard, the doors of which are panelled with Japanese leather,
-put in nearly twenty years ago, and verily, I do believe, the very first
-doors in England that were ever treated in this manner. I never saw any
-elsewhere, though, of course, now to find a door with undecorated panels
-is rather an impossibility,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a>{121}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_16" id="ill_16"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-121_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-121_sml.jpg" width="450" height="283" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 16.&mdash;Boudoir-Bedroom." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 16.&mdash;Boudoir-Bedroom.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a>{122}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">at all events in any house the owner of which aspires to be in the least
-degree artistic.</p>
-
-<p>The room illustrated here was papered with a very soft brown-and-gold
-paper, and had a dado of red-and-white matting, and a hideous shade of
-terra-cotta paint. In those days one could not find a ceiling paper
-anywhere, and I was obliged to content myself with a species of
-<i>café-au-lait</i> wash on the ceiling, which much exercised the mind of the
-local decorator, to say nothing of my own, for though I knew I hated the
-ordinary whitewash, I did not quite know how to set about a change; but
-notwithstanding that, my <i>café-au-lait</i> ceiling was rather smeary, and
-was profoundly jeered at by the good local housekeepers, to whom a
-spotless ceiling and a clear conscience were synonymous, and to whom
-anything new or strange meant undoubtedly an unsafe spiritual condition.
-The relief from the white glare of the ordinary ceiling was so great
-that I stuck to it manfully, and even added a blue ceiling to one of the
-other rooms until I came across a pretty paper, and had that put up, to
-the intense disgust of the builder and the open horror of the
-inhabitants, who since my day have papered their ceilings too, and done
-all sorts of other things which I used to preach in my bridal-days, but
-of which they took no heed until they saw me in print; then they were
-quite sure I was right, and began to alter their houses and make them
-prettier than they had ever been before.</p>
-
-<p>I should not now put terra-cotta and brown together, but that room
-somehow always looked very harmonious; the short frilled curtains were
-of a charming soft terra-cotta and white cretonne, which unfortunately
-has been out of stock for something like fourteen years. The muslin was
-a very soft Madras with frills also, and the couch was covered in the
-same patterned cretonne, only in blue and white; when the paper became
-shabby and a little dull I added a frieze of Japanese fans all round,
-and they gave just the colour I required to the room. One cannot somehow
-buy such good fans nowadays as those were, unfortunately; and this is
-not imagination, for I possess a good many of these identical ones now,
-and I can never find in any of the numerous Japanese shops which have
-succeeded Liberty &amp; Hewitt, or I should say followed them,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a>{123}</span> any paper
-fans that are half such good colours or such pretty designs as those
-which formed the frieze in that particular room. I had the floor covered
-entirely with matting, and rugs were placed about. The whole of the
-furniture, with the exception of the writing-table shown in window No.
-2, was wickerwork, and as in those days there was no Aspinall, I had to
-beg my varnished paint from the man who mended our carriages, and who
-could never produce anything except a very good black and a particularly
-awful blue, which I only tried once, and eschewed in favour of black,
-which remained on for years, and finally succumbed to the superior
-charms of Aspinall’s hedge-sparrow-egg blue and other delicate and
-pleasant colours.</p>
-
-<p>The shelves, both in the recesses by the fireplace and between the
-windows, will give an excellent idea how to manage these dwarf
-bookcases, which hold a quantity of books, while the tops serve as
-cabinets or stands for china. The corners of the room had a series of
-long wooden brackets in each, edged with frills of dark-blue velveteen,
-and the mantel-piece had on a painted board for the shelf edged with a
-deep frill or flounce, also of the same dark-blue velveteen; a narrow
-strip of looking-glass was placed along at the back, as overmantels were
-not invented, and I had always a horror of the great glass sheets then
-in vogue; while above that hung pictures, fans, &amp;c., which made a
-species of overmantel arrangement for myself, with which I was quite
-satisfied. The room altogether always looked pretty and nice, and was
-much admired; it was always full of ferns and palms and flowers too,
-without which no room can ever look well, spend what one may on the
-furniture and decorations thereof. This species of boudoir-bedroom is
-always a capital possession, and were space no object in a house I
-should always arrange the bed-chambers in a similar manner: there should
-be a dressing-room and bath-room to each, where all the dressing
-operations could be carried on; and the bath should be shut off by
-double doors from the passage. Such an arrangement is quite delightful
-both for visitors and when one has to remain in one’s room from
-ill-health, for once up and on the sofa the whole appearance of a
-bedroom vanishes when the screen is in place, which is put straight
-along between the bed and the cabinet. All<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a>{124}</span> the housework is done behind
-the screen, the housemaids entering by the curtained door, and the
-invalid is not worried by the sight of bed-making operations, while her
-room always looks nice, and she can receive there anyone she may care to
-see, which she could not do were the room frankly a bed-chamber and
-nothing else.</p>
-
-<p>Of course on ordinary days the windows must be opened as soon as
-dressing is over, and left open for a good two hours’ spell of airing,
-and the room should not be sat in after tea or after luncheon if
-possible. This gives ample time for a due course of airing, the only
-objection anyone could make to this arrangement being that probably the
-room might be stuffy, or the air in it exhausted by being used during
-the day as well as slept in during the night. This objection vanishes
-into thin air when the windows are opened widely and kept open from
-about two till bedtime; indeed, I say after bedtime, for whatever the
-weather may be I have one window open all night, and whenever possible
-every window which will open remains so; indeed, one window in our
-present house has not been closed for a moment during three years.</p>
-
-<p>Now, in decorating a room on a smaller scale for a girl, her own
-individual taste should be in some measure consulted, but nothing can
-possibly be or look better than the delightful ‘Watteau’ paper, sold by
-Haines, at 2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> the piece. It is a paper of which one never
-tires, and has also the capital quality of being no distinct colour, and
-of allowing any colour being used in the room with it; while at the same
-time, should a distinct hue be desired, a room decorated with the
-‘Watteau’ paper can be made distinctly blue, moss-green or coral-pink,
-according to the manner in which the room is painted, or according to
-the frieze or dado selected. For example, the paper could be hung above
-a dado of cretonne sold by Shoolbred at 1<i>s.</i> 4½<i>d.</i> a yard, which
-almost matches the paper, the paint in this case being ivory, and the
-ceiling paper Land &amp; Co.’s ‘Watteau’ in yellow and white, at 3<i>s.</i> the
-piece. The curtains could be either of the same cretonne or of a Louis
-XVI. brocade, sold by Colbourne at 2<i>s.</i> 11½<i>d.</i> a yard, double width.
-The floor could be covered with matting, and there should be some rugs
-about on the floor, thus making one decoration without any distinct
-colour. Another could be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a>{125}</span> the ‘Watteau’ with a plain green frieze or a
-frieze of Haines ‘rose’ paper, at 10<i>s.</i> a piece. This is run round the
-room, not put on in strips like wall-paper, and therefore would not be
-as expensive as it sounds. The frieze-rail and all the woodwork could be
-stained green with Jackson’s malachite green stain; the ceiling paper
-could be pink and white; the carpet, Wallace’s green ‘lily;’ and the
-chairs could be stained green, and upholstered either in the pinky
-terra-cotta Louis XVI. brocade, of which the curtains could be made, or
-else of the ‘Watteau’ cretonne mentioned above. The bed should be
-covered with a worked quilt&mdash;a good occupation for any girl would it be
-to make such quilts; while the towels and pillow-cases should all bear
-embroidered monograms, marking-ink being a positive badge of disgrace in
-a household where there should be useful fingers.</p>
-
-<p>There are a great many floral papers, such as the ‘rose,’ at 3<i>s.</i>
-9<i>d.</i>, sold by Giles; the ‘carnation,’ sold by Maple; and the ‘wild
-rose,’ sold by Haines, which are all charming for such rooms, or,
-indeed, for any room; but should a severer form of decoration be
-required, my readers cannot go wrong with any of Pither’s papers, or of
-Liberty’s new damasque papers, which are all as good and artistic as
-they can be, and which can be used fearlessly by anyone who is not sure
-enough of his own taste to allow himself to select a paper on his own
-account, or has not time and patience to encounter the invariable battle
-with the decorator, who will not produce, until he is absolutely
-obliged, any paper on which he cannot see his way to making an
-exorbitant profit, and who sets forth paper after paper, trusting to his
-own ingenuity and his powers of wearying his victim to enable him to
-sell some venerable ‘shopkeeper’ which has long vexed his soul by its
-unremunerative existence on some back shelf.</p>
-
-<p>I am delighted myself with Liberty’s damasque papers, which have only
-been brought out since I wrote my first book, and which, therefore, have
-not had the honourable mention there that they so very richly deserve to
-have had, the blue and silver ‘tulip damasque,’ at 2<i>s.</i>, being a
-perfect paper, and one that would be quite satisfactory in a
-boudoir-bedroom, unless it happened to be a very small one; in that case
-the blue and silver marigold, at 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, would do equally well.
-With these papers a dado is imperative, as I do not consider they have
-sufficient substance in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a>{126}</span> them to withstand the wear and tear inseparable
-from their position at the base of the wall. A dado of Treloar’s thin
-matting or of a good red-and-gold Japanese paper would look well. With
-the matting the paint should be ivory, with the leather paper a good red
-paint should be selected which will harmonise with the blue. In any case
-a red carpet, such as Pither’s dull red ‘cottage’ carpet, or Wallace’s
-dull red ‘anemone,’ should be selected, and the curtains should be the
-same red in serge, or else in a dull blue cretonne, the ‘algæ’ made on
-purpose to harmonise with this paper by Oetzmann.</p>
-
-<p>The planning and talking over the arrangement of this room will be a
-great amusement both to mother and daughter, and I strongly recommend
-the mother to attempt nothing in the way of a surprise, but to frankly
-take her daughter into her confidence and consult her tastes on the
-subject if she wishes the room to be a real success. I am compelled to
-recommend this course from an experience of my own, because I have never
-forgotten my unconcealable dismay at returning home after a long visit
-to find my own mother had planned such a surprise for me, but had in all
-innocence, and with such kindness, done such dreadful things to my pet
-belongings that I often recall the remembrance of my start of horror and
-exclamation of dismay with the profoundest contrition, for I did not
-know then what I have only realised in after years, that I must have
-pained her dreadfully, for, dear soul, she had done all the renovations
-out of her own savings, and had taken much trouble and pains about it,
-and I could not help saying, ‘Oh, why did you let them do this?’ before
-I realised that this was a surprise, and I ought to have been enchanted
-instead of dismayed at her renovations&mdash;renovations that were in
-absolute good taste, for her taste was perfect, and her house charming
-long before anyone else cared for their house, but which somehow were
-not my ideas, and which annoyed me dreadfully because the arrangements
-were not mine at all, and which I never dared alter afterwards, because
-I had already received the changes so ungraciously, instead of realising
-that I should have been enchanted with the forethought and goodness
-which had prepared all this for me.</p>
-
-<p>Remembering my own reception of a similar surprise,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a>{127}</span> therefore advise
-that the daughter should be consulted in every way about the room she is
-to inhabit, unless, of course, she has no tastes of her own, and does
-not care what the room looks like so long as she has it to herself; then
-the room can be made as pretty as the mother likes. But there are few
-girls nowadays who do not care for their rooms, and are not as eager as
-anyone else to make themselves a pretty nest that they may regard as
-their own, and not as a perch on which they rest on sufferance until
-they are pushed out by the on-coming juniors into the arms of the first
-man who appears in the least degree anxious to have her for a wife.</p>
-
-<p>I do hope that, whatever else happens, the daughters of the household
-may never be sent away to schools, or urged at a high school to overwork
-their brains and go in for those wretched competitive examinations. I am
-no advocate for the higher education of women, for votes for women, for
-anything which shall take them out of the sheltered home atmosphere,
-where women alone can breathe comfortably and live properly, and force
-them into the arena of life; and I do hope mothers who may read this
-book will consider what they are doing when they force their girls
-forward, and delight in the hard work and successful examinations which
-ruin their constitutions, and make them irritable and nervous and old
-before their time. I know only too well that there are women who are
-compelled to work, but I shall always maintain this should not be; and,
-to return once more to the subject with which I began my chapter, I
-state boldly that neither would they be were the families of English
-people smaller, and were we less extravagant, less determined to snatch
-all we can from life, doing absolutely nothing for ourselves that we can
-get someone else to do for us. Why, I know myself one family of five or
-six daughters who, if their father died to-morrow, would not have 50<i>l.</i>
-a year, yet who go out night after night to balls, who take cabs at
-every moment, never saving a shilling, who are waited upon by half a
-dozen servants, and yet who ought to do the housework themselves, who
-ought to be content with a quarter of the gaiety they insist upon. The
-poor silly things even went to Court, though, Heaven knows, the Queen
-would have sent them back again had she known what their dresses
-cost&mdash;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a>{128}</span>a price, moreover, that would never be paid&mdash;and who finally
-would have far more chance of happy marriage than they have now, when
-every man they know looks askance at their garments, and then at their
-father’s worried face, and avoids them, justly declining to put
-themselves in the noose which is round his neck, and which will surely
-kill him, even if he can keep his head above water for much longer. This
-case is the case of hundreds of families at present, and therefore I
-feel I cannot say too much about it, and I do hope mothers will
-therefore think a little more about their daughters, and endeavour to
-restore a little of the quiet and simplicity which are almost extinct in
-this rushing era of ours, and which can never be found among those who
-are cast out from the shelter of home and forced into competition&mdash;a
-competition that is as odious as it is unnecessary in most girls’ lives,
-and that would be altogether unnecessary were there fewer girls in the
-world, and were we content to spend one quarter of the money we do on
-all sorts of nonsense and on extra servants, who only make our daughters
-lazy and luxurious when they ought undoubtedly to be up and doing.</p>
-
-<p>The moment a girl leaves the control of the schoolroom and the watchful
-eye of the governess she should be told that, though now she is to some
-extent her own mistress, she must not consider her education finished,
-but rather that the real part of education is just beginning, and that
-it is absolutely necessary that every day should begin with some steady
-work; and it is also well that some definite rule should be made on this
-subject: certain small household duties should be given to her, and
-certain studies should be continued, leaving it to her to select in some
-measure what those studies shall be.</p>
-
-<p>Now in the richest households there are many things which should never
-be left to servants if one wishes the house to look like the abode of a
-lady, and not of a <i>nouveau riche</i> one, the principal one in my eyes
-being the arrangement of the flowers. The best gardener in the world has
-only a gardener’s ideas, and cannot know what to bring in and how to
-place what he brings in in an absolutely satisfactory way, and, as dead
-flowers and fading plants are disgraceful and worse than an utter
-absence of floral decoration, the first duty a girl should undertake is
-that of going round the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a>{129}</span> rooms the moment breakfast is over, to decide
-which plants are to be removed and which vases should be refilled. In
-the country the gardener should wait her orders, and have the flowers
-gathered dry and before the heat of the sun is on them, and should
-himself exchange the plants, the position of them being determined by
-his mistress, as the arrangement of the flowers should be left to her
-alone. If done systematically in the manner here indicated, all the
-house will look fresh and nice, and there would be no chance of
-overwork.</p>
-
-<p>To arrange the flowers an old dress should be worn, also a large apron
-and sleeves should be donned. Despite the fact that the gardener should
-bring in the flowers, there is always something extra to gather at the
-last moment, and one rushes out, gets one’s skirts covered with damp
-mould and dew from the grass, or shakes down a quart or so of water from
-the trees all over one, and a dress is spoiled in a moment&mdash;a serious
-matter at all times, but something more than serious when one has
-forestalled one’s allowance, and can’t afford another garment anyhow.</p>
-
-<p>The arrangement of the flowers in most houses nowadays would occupy at
-least an hour, after which the girl should sit down for a steady read at
-some standard work carefully chosen for her, or else to any sewing work
-she may care for; then she should take up her hobby&mdash;and I trust she may
-have one for her own sake&mdash;and she should either practise, paint or
-write, or do anything she likes (save read novels) until the hour before
-luncheon, when she <i>must</i> go out. If she be wise she will continue her
-regular walk with the schoolroom party; if not, she must be sent out to
-see her friends, do ‘errands’ about the village or town, or else arrange
-for a game at tennis&mdash;anything to ensure some exercise. The girls of the
-present day don’t care for walks for walking’s sake, but they must have
-open-air exercise somehow, whether they care for it or not.</p>
-
-<p>In London, I maintain, any girl who knows how to behave, and who is told
-plainly how to conduct herself, can safely go about the streets alone
-from the day she is eighteen. I have done so ever since I can remember,
-and though I do not consider myself lovely, I certainly was nice-looking
-(please, I am not conceited), and I never met with any adventure of the
-very smallest kind; and given a straightforward<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a>{130}</span> walk, an air of having
-something to do and doing it, no peeping into shop-windows, for example,
-and not a suspicion of loitering anywhere, I maintain any ordinary girl
-can go about alone perfectly, should it be inconvenient to send someone
-with her, or should she have no girl friend or sister with whom to walk;
-anyhow, London is much safer than the country, with its crawling tramps
-and its suspicious cows at every corner, to say nothing of mad bulls and
-dogs and all kinds of perilous adventures.</p>
-
-<p>The morning walk disposed of, after luncheon then could come any
-pleasures. There are sure to be calls to be made, tennis to go to,
-afternoon parties, concerts, and all kinds of small dissipations; then
-would come dinner, after which, if there were no going out, amusing
-books could be allowed, and, in fact, any amusement that she
-particularly cares for should now be indulged in. The evenings should be
-entirely her own; and if she has any hobbies, and wishes to continue the
-morning’s work, let her do so. You will very likely be as glad to be
-left alone for a little with your husband as she is anxious to return to
-her own quarters and resume the special employments on which she was
-engaged.</p>
-
-<p>I am now writing about those lucky girls who have an assured future of
-some kind, who, though they may not be rich should their father die,
-will not have to join in the fearful battle for bread, and who should
-represent the sex universally had I my way; and, therefore, I do not
-dwell on the necessity for toil that would be inevitable were the girls’
-parents aware of the sword hanging over their heads. In this case the
-girls should know the truth, and should themselves elect whether they
-should prepare armour against the fray, or hang about, hoping against
-hope that they may be married before the evil days that must come fall
-upon the household. But girls who are pretty well off, and who, as I
-said before, cannot starve if their parents die, should still endeavour
-to find some real occupation for themselves; they may never want to make
-much money by it, but they should always be able to save money by it;
-and if they cannot do anything definite, or that will be likely to be
-heard of in the world, they should cultivate their fingers, and should
-learn to embroider and sew, in order that their room at first, and their
-houses afterwards,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a>{131}</span> should be made beautiful by them, and should show
-evidences of their industry, and the excellent uses they have made of
-their time.</p>
-
-<p>Make the girls’ room pretty, and the girls will like to sit there and
-spend their time carefully within the charming walls; but do not for one
-moment tolerate laziness, lounging, or novel-reading; and as long as the
-girls are at home, see that the mornings, at all events, are properly
-employed. The results of the day should be seen, should be inspected,
-and the masters or mistresses, who should still attend to continue some
-lessons (German, music, and painting being the best, I think), should be
-interviewed now and again about the progress of the pupil; and a
-watchful but not inquisitorial eye should be kept on all that goes on in
-the room, else we shall find it turned into a rubbish-place, or a spot
-where all is play and nothing useful is ever done.</p>
-
-<p>Lessons in dressmaking and in cooking should be given, if possible, to
-every girl; and she should also at the earliest age possible be taught
-to knit socks and stockings, and, above all, she should, in the very
-fullest sense of the word, learn her duty to her neighbours, and be
-taught that her superior advantages both of time and money should be
-tithed for those whose lives lack so much, and could be made so very
-much brighter were we all to do our duty by them. I am not an advocate
-for slumming; I do not consider any girl should have a district, and,
-unless in the country, Sunday-school teaching is not always to be
-attempted; but some part of the day should be set aside, either for
-working for the poor&mdash;amply represented to me by the Sisters at the
-Kilburn Orphanage&mdash;or in making some life brighter. In the country it is
-easy to collect flowers for hospitals, or to ask dwellers in courts to
-tea in the garden in London, to make things which will be useful, and to
-take girls and boys occasionally to some museum or picture gallery, just
-for an hour’s change from the crowded streets.</p>
-
-<p>I think girls should always do one thing during the day, as a matter of
-custom, for the poor; but whatever is done should be done under some
-direction. Young folks are enthusiastic and hurried, and often do more
-harm than good by indiscriminate charity. But then the clergyman of the
-parish can sometimes be consulted, and when he cannot, I say, Send to
-Kilburn, to the Orphanage in Randolph<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a>{132}</span> Gardens. There, without
-consideration of creed, with large and vigorous minds and hearts, all
-are helped; and all work can be used, all help received, with the
-perfect assurance that what we send there will emphatically reach those
-for whom it is meant, and that there are no highly paid secretaries to
-come before the poor and suffering.</p>
-
-<p>These are all large matters to be discussed in this book, but I cannot
-think they are out of place. I am thankful to say that far more people
-trouble themselves now about their poorer neighbours than in bygone
-days; that rich men realise that they are only stewards of their
-property, and that they should administer their goods for the poor as
-well as for themselves; that while the owner of a large park and
-magnificent pictures is not bound to cut up the former for
-allotment-grounds, or distribute the latter among the denizens of
-Whitechapel, he is bound to allow them to see both, under proper
-control, whenever he is called upon to do so; that garden-parties for
-the poor are far more necessary than garden-parties for the rich; and
-that all who regard life rightfully and have had a large share of life’s
-best things are bound, by their duty to God and their neighbour, to
-administer them in some measure for the poor, who will gradually become
-more fit to share them as we show them our possessions and teach them
-how to regard them properly. Under these circumstances there is great
-hope that our girls may advance farther than we have done, and, being
-most carefully trained from their earliest days to remember God’s poor,
-may do so as a matter of course, and may consider that day wasted indeed
-which cannot show at least one thing done to alleviate some of the
-misery and poverty there is in this overcrowded world of ours.</p>
-
-<p>The weaker sex indeed! We may be weak physically&mdash;we are, we allow that;
-we allow that our impulsiveness, our weakness, our very structure,
-forbids us battling with the men, shoulder to shoulder, in that dreadful
-scrimmage for life in which some women would cast us all; and all we beg
-is to be allowed to confess that, and have some shelter provided for us,
-where we can do our part of the world’s work&mdash;our part, that a weak mind
-cannot undertake, but that is essentially the woman’s part&mdash;the part of
-beautifier of the home and administrator of the finances, and, through
-the home, of the outside world, too, where we see all men as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a>{133}</span> our
-brothers and sisters, and where we recognise our place as helpers (not
-rivals), of consolers (not competitors) of the men, who should do the
-sheltering and home-providing that no woman, except under most
-exceptional circumstances, can possibly manage by herself alone.</p>
-
-<p>Therefore, if all who have girls remember this, and instil in their
-hearts the fact that we want them at home, that even if they should not
-marry or become senior wranglers, or anything else equally prominent and
-unpleasant, their lives can be busy and useful and fully occupied, and
-of infinite use in their generation, we shall do something for the world
-at large even if we let all this grow only out of the innocent
-preparation of the girls’ room when they have reached the end of the
-first stage of their life, and become in some measure mistresses of
-themselves. But, for fear I may be considered too solemn and serious,
-and for fear that my readers may think I am adverse to gaiety, and would
-not let girls enjoy themselves under any circumstances whatever, I will
-finish this chapter, and pass on to consider far more frivolous
-things&mdash;namely, how to manage one’s dress allowance, and, furthermore,
-how best to arrange for any festivities we may be able to afford when we
-have maidens in the household who are anxious to ‘come out.’</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VII" id="CHAPTER_VII"></a>CHAPTER VII.<br /><br />
-<small>COMING-OUT AND DRESS.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I always</span> regard the expression ‘coming-out’ as rather a ridiculous one,
-when used by the ordinary upper middle-class household; yet, as it has
-become a recognised part of our vocabulary, I suppose we must all adopt
-it when we talk of that enchanting period of a girl’s life which occurs
-when she is about eighteen, and is in some measure emancipated from the
-control and ever-watchful care which have been her portion from the day
-she was born until the joyful moment arrives when the books may be
-closed and the schoolroom-door shut, and she takes her place among her
-elders as a right, and not on sufferance any more.</p>
-
-<p>Here I should like to pause for a moment to impress<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a>{134}</span> upon all mothers
-who may read my book that a girl should remain absolutely in the
-schoolroom until she reaches her eighteenth birthday; the longer she can
-be kept from the turmoil of life, from the shams and wearinesses of
-ordinary society, and from any temptations to shirk her education, the
-better. She will not be pleased with her mother at the time; she will
-think regretfully and, may be, angrily of those of her less guarded,
-more ‘fortunate’ (?) friends, who are ‘all over the place’ at seventeen,
-who never read an instructive book or think of anything save dress,
-admirers, and what dissipation is in store for them next; but when she
-looks back at her girlhood from the altitude of that calm, sheltered
-middle-age I wish for all girls for whom I care, she will see what she
-has to thank her mother for, and all the disagreeable feelings she had
-then towards her will be atoned for a thousandfold in the flood of
-grateful affection which will fill her heart, and in the love which she
-will entertain for one who trained her so carefully, and who cared for
-no present lack of affection, because she knew quite well she would
-infallibly and at no very late date reap her reward.</p>
-
-<p>The years from sixteen to eighteen are undoubtedly the years during
-which a girl learns most, and in a properly guarded household she would
-then comprehend more fully than at any other time how necessary it is to
-use every moment for the best. She would form habits of study,
-regularity, and appreciation of what is best in art and literature which
-she would never lose, and which would only develop as years went on; and
-she would, furthermore, lay in a stock of health, on which she could
-draw at will when the real stress of living begins, and she finds
-herself in her turn with a heavy burden of real work on her shoulders,
-and has a house to manage, a husband to please, and children to bring
-forth and care for unceasingly.</p>
-
-<p>And this latter is the strongest argument I can use against girls being
-‘brought out’ too young; if they are they may marry. I knew one parent
-criminal enough to allow a child of sixteen to take upon herself this
-burden; and should they marry and have children they entail on
-themselves and on unborn generations misery compared with which a life
-spent always in the schoolroom would be a life of Elysian and purest
-delight.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a>{135}</span></p>
-
-<p>The first thing to consider with our girls is their health: let that
-stand before every single thing; dress them as little mites carefully
-and warmly; as young girls insist on warm clothing and perpetually dry
-feet and skirts; never allow a game of tennis on a damp lawn to pass by
-without seeing that no damage is done thereby; and then, furthermore,
-insist on early bed until the lesson-time is over; allow no dances of
-any kind, forbid entirely the children’s parties, which are at the root
-of half the epidemics, the affectations and the bad manners of the
-present day; while you take care that pleasant companionship, treats in
-the shape of afternoon concerts or plays, or tennis-parties with
-children their own age, these give the necessary relaxation, and you can
-face the ‘coming-out’ gaieties with a light heart, knowing quite well
-that your daughter has the necessary physique to stand the strain, and
-that she has arrived at a common-sense age, and will be able to know
-when she has had enough pleasure, the while she will care herself for
-something beside balls and parties, albeit she will in no measure
-despise a proper allowance of both.</p>
-
-<p>I am no Puritan; I do not object to dancing or theatres, or any other
-amusement, but I do plead for moderation in all things, and that a girl
-may have time for something beside mere play. I ask it not only because
-their mental health must suffer, but because their physique cannot
-possibly stand that present strain and yet remain intact ready to bear
-the yet greater strain to which most women are exposed during their
-married life. I know only too well what an uncontrolled girlhood and
-unending gaieties did for me, and I am only again writing out of my own
-experience in the hope that I may save some few girls from the misery in
-store for them if they begin their fashionable life before they are
-eighteen and if, when they begin it, they have no moderation about it,
-and go from ball to ball, party to party, until their faces become thin
-and wretched, their bloom goes, their tempers and noses sharpen
-together, and they are unstrung and miserable just at the time when life
-demands most from them, and they ought to be as well and happy as they
-are miserable, nervous, and broken in spirits and in health.</p>
-
-<p>I actually have known one mother introduce her daughter at seventeen
-because the next daughter was far<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a>{136}</span> prettier, and she wished to give No.
-1 ‘a chance’ before No. 2 appeared on the scene. Can anything be more
-ignoble than that? And it is to save both mothers and daughters from a
-similar fate to that which will overtake this couple that I am pleading
-for the girls; that, in fact, they may be saved from themselves by the
-prompt action of those who ought to be the first to shield their
-children from a too early contact with the world.</p>
-
-<p>I should myself keep a girl to regular hours until she was eighteen, but
-even after that, as I have shown in my last chapter, she should have
-employment and occupation. Until she was eighteen she should never be in
-bed later than 9.30, and she should always be down at 8.30, while she
-ought never to be allowed to go to any large dance before then. Small
-ones, ending at 11, should be very sparsely attended, and those not at
-all until she was past seventeen. When the auspicious date of her
-eighteenth birthday draws near, a great effort should be made to
-celebrate it properly. On that date a girl comes into her kingdom,
-accepts at your hands the sceptre of self-rule and the crown of an
-educated and well-guarded girlhood, and certainly some special notice
-should be taken of such an occasion.</p>
-
-<p>Not, please, by her being presented at Court; the present-day rush of
-the wives of wine merchants, successful upholsterers, and tradesmen of
-all kinds has made what was once a stately and beautiful ceremony a
-mockery indeed. Of course girls whose parents are about the Court, who
-have long pedigrees and ancient titles, are bound to be introduced to
-the Head of Society and to take their places round the throne; but just
-think for a moment what it means to the ordinary middle-class family,
-the frightful expense, the worry and strain of the presentation, the
-fatigue and showing off at the ‘Drawing Room teas’ afterwards, and,
-finally, the dead and unpleasant certainty that they will never be asked
-to one Court function, that they are no nearer being the bosom friend of
-the princesses than they were before, and that their social status has
-not been improved in the least; indeed, it has gone down, for old
-friends sneer at the foolishness and scoff when they see the name in the
-paper, remembering with redoubled force the counters of the wine
-merchant and shopkeeper, which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a>{137}</span> would have been entirely forgotten had
-not the ‘fierce light which beats upon the throne’ been reflected on
-those who approach it and shown up the flaws in the pedigree which were
-on the way to oblivion, but which give ample scope for scoffing from the
-very lips which are drinking the tea at the ‘reception’ after the
-Drawing Room, where all are wondering what the dresses cost, and whether
-Jones or Smith, as the case may be, will last over the season, or
-whether he will marry off his daughters before the crash comes and all
-go under together!</p>
-
-<p>Remember, I am not scoffing at trade; it would ill become me to do so;
-but I am simply asking my readers to be sensible and to be frankly and
-absolutely themselves. Personally I would far rather pin my rights to
-being a lady on the fact that art and literature have been my sponsors
-than on being the great-great-granddaughter of a king’s mistress or a
-ruffianly robber of other men’s goods; but that has nothing to do with
-the subject. A waiter on courts should have business at those courts;
-therefore I say that those who cannot consider themselves owing the
-Queen a call, and the courtesy of showing her their girls as they grow
-up to take their places, either as friends or servants, have any right
-to go there, and that they had much better stay at home and not make
-themselves ridiculous by an attempt to be and seem what they can never
-really be.</p>
-
-<p>Let us suppose that our eloquence has prevailed, and that the girl has
-reached her eighteenth birthday, and there is no talk of her being
-presented, or any such nonsense; but still something must be done to
-celebrate the auspicious event. If the birthday is in autumn or winter,
-or very early spring, there is no reason why a dance should not be
-indulged in, more especially if it can be afforded, or if there is room
-for such dissipation. These two things are, of course, to be considered
-before anything else.</p>
-
-<p>A ball can cost any sum anyone likes to spend on it; all depends on the
-purse and the ideas. If we engage a good hall and band, go in for a
-regular and first-rate supper, any amount of flowers, and so on, I
-tremble to think what the bills may come to; but all can be ascertained
-by writing to the different places where such things are to be found.
-Gunter will give an estimate per head<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a>{138}</span> for the supper; the Prince’s Hall
-secretary will tell you the charges per night; Mrs. Green, of Crawford
-Street, W., will tell you what her fee for decorating the room would be;
-and Mitchell, of Bond Street, would provide the band. But people who can
-afford to arrange matters <i>en grand seigneur</i> are not likely to come to
-me for advice; if they did, I should only hand them over to the
-above-named authorities. Still, if these lucky folk should come across
-my book, this will tell them what to do. But ordinary folk can give a
-very enjoyable dance for a little over 50<i>l.</i> to about 125 people,
-making the hours from eight to twelve, and having a stand-up supper at
-about 5<i>s.</i> a head, ending up with soup just before the guests start for
-home; and I fancy that, if one had a sufficiently large house, and could
-manage the supper oneself, it could be done for very much less,
-particularly if one has a stand-up supper, which is really all that can
-be required when people have dined late, and only want something to
-carry them over the later hours and the extra amount of fatigue.</p>
-
-<p>To make such a dance a success, the floor must be perfect, a band of
-from three to five performers engaged, and people must be thoroughly
-well introduced to each other, and, if possible, no girl must be seen
-sitting out without a valiant struggle on the part of the hostess to
-prevent such a sad occurrence by finding her a partner. I cannot
-countenance or believe in dances, or, in fact, any social gathering,
-where there are no introductions; it is simply an excuse for laziness on
-the part of the hostess, which all too often condemns her guests to a
-great deal of misery and dulness. Of course the theory is a perfectly
-correct one; the practice, however, cannot, in my opinion, be too
-heartily condemned. There will always be <i>débutantes</i> and shy girls who
-know very few people, and these cannot possibly dance unless we see they
-know men to dance with.</p>
-
-<p>Is there any misery like the misery of a girl who is dying to dance, who
-loves the exercise for its own sake, and who has to sit out on a bench,
-her feet impatiently tapping the floor, and her little heart ready to
-break with disappointment, while she sees married women, who ought to
-know better, and who ought never to dance at all as long as a girl is
-sitting out, prancing all about the place<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a>{139}</span> and caring nothing for the
-poor young things whose day it is? As long as they enjoy themselves,
-that is quite enough for them.</p>
-
-<p>The watchful hostess will have none of these engaging little ways at her
-dances: the girls are provided for first, the matrons after; and as this
-would be impossible were introductions done away with, I would impress
-upon my readers to cling to this old fashion, and to see that the girls
-enjoy themselves, no matter who else do not. Except as chaperons married
-women are out of place in the ballroom, and should not be encouraged to
-come there; if they do their duty by their homes, their husbands, and
-their children, they could have neither time nor inclination for such a
-pursuit.</p>
-
-<p>When my own daughter ‘came out’ the other day, we had about 125 people
-to a dance in Watford, and it cost us just under 50<i>l.</i> Because our
-house was too small to have any festivity in, we had to engage rooms,
-which cost about 5<i>l.</i>; the supper cost about 25<i>l.</i>, at 5<i>s.</i> a head,
-including soup, aërated waters, and waiters, and a certain amount of
-decoration for the approach, anterooms, &amp;c. We had plenty of moss,
-plants, &amp;c., which our own gardener arranged. The local band of three
-performers cost 3<i>l.</i> 3<i>s.</i>, and the rest went for wine, programmes, and
-odds and ends generally. The dance was certainly most successful, and
-went off very well, and was quite as much as we could afford. Naturally
-I should have preferred much grander doings&mdash;a first-rate supper, the
-‘Blue Hungarian’ band, or any other excellent one; but it would have
-been foolish to refuse to entertain at all because we could not manage
-these gorgeous details&mdash;details that were as much above our means as
-they would have been quite unnecessary in Watford.</p>
-
-<p>But the dance was successful, because the girls were pretty and the men
-pleasant, because old friends came down and rallied round us, and
-because we all saw the girls did not sit down once, that there was no
-flagging, and that all who could be introduced were made to know each
-other. I dare say there were plenty of people who wondered they did not
-have a gorgeous supper, but I do not care if they did, and I certainly
-am never going to precipitate myself head first into the Bankruptcy
-Court because someone<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a>{140}</span> else gives what, no doubt, they can well afford
-to do, but which I could not, and which, were I to do, I should soon
-come utterly to an end.</p>
-
-<p>I mention all these personal details to show that what we did can be
-done by other people, certainly by people who have a big house and
-plenty of servants, at a moderate cost, and I hope I shall not have
-become a ‘mock of many’ because of all I have said; but as I always
-think personal experience frankly given is worth any amount of polite
-theory, I give my experience here as elsewhere, hoping that it may be of
-use to many beside myself.</p>
-
-<p>If the damsel is born in the summer, I strongly advise a tennis-or
-garden-party, though, alas! in this climate we are so dependent upon the
-weather that I mention this with a certain amount of diffidence; but
-given one of the lovely June days Nature sometimes kindly dowers us
-with, and can anything on earth be pleasanter than one of these
-al-fresco gatherings may be if properly managed?</p>
-
-<p>The garden is looking its best, and, if the seats are judiciously
-arranged and a proper amount of amusement legislated for, the hostess
-can greet her friends with a light heart; she can be quite sure of a
-successful party without too much trouble or expense on her part.</p>
-
-<p>The refreshments should be either in a tent on the lawn or else in any
-room that may open out into the garden. Should there be no such room, I
-strongly advise the tent to be procured (one can always be borrowed at a
-most reasonable expense), as, if the refreshments are not easily
-accessible, the party becomes scattered: the timid do not like to
-separate themselves and go in search of sustenance, while the greedy can
-seclude themselves and snatch an undue share of the good things prepared
-for the entire company.</p>
-
-<p>Given the tent, or the room, and we can proceed to place very long and
-narrow tables there, which we should decorate with as many flowers as we
-possibly can get together, and should we have very many Londoners coming
-to our gathering we should put a host of the little baskets Whiteley
-sells for about 4½<i>d.</i> a set under the tables, and fill them at parting
-with what we garnished the tables with. Roses and lilies and greenery
-are not to be despised in London, and our friends will come down to us
-cheerfully<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a>{141}</span> another year if they carry away a sweetly-scented souvenir
-of our last gathering. People don’t mind carrying flowers, and we can
-always spare those we have used for garnishing the table.</p>
-
-<p>Among the flowers we should put large imari bowls of strawberries and
-cream ready for ladling out on small dishes; the strawberries should be
-denuded of their hulls, and the whipped cream, which can be thickened
-with white of egg and made palatable with sugar, should be piled high on
-the fruit, which, of course, should be unbroken. If a refrigerator is
-handy, the prepared fruit should be kept there until the last moment,
-and only produced when the guests have begun to assemble, the places for
-the bowls being kept by plates to prevent the symmetry of the table
-being spoiled by a careless or hurried maid-servant.</p>
-
-<p>I strongly advise all the cakes being bought from Buszard, who will,
-moreover, tell you honestly the amount of the different kinds you should
-have for the number you expect; and, as a rule, you should prepare for a
-few more folks than you have down on your list. If a very fine day
-people often bring friends with them. I personally like them to do this,
-and if you yourself happen to know anyone who possesses little girls,
-and who is coming herself, I advise you to ask her to bring the
-children. Well-brought-up children are delightful additions to a
-garden-party; they look like bright butterflies flitting about, and
-should therefore be encouraged to come, not by a written invitation,
-which would make them unduly prominent and of consequence in their own
-eyes, but by a casual mention, which cannot inflate them, and yet will
-show they have been thought about by us. Beside the fruit and cakes, a
-little finely cut and rolled brown bread and butter should be prepared,
-but only a little; few people eat it; as a rule it spoils their gloves,
-and they do not want it, and it is wasted if left, and if the weather is
-really summerlike and hot, ices should be provided, and also iced
-lemonade, gingerbeer, and claret-cup. No other wine is requisite. And as
-wine is frightfully dear, and should never be given unless really good,
-I advise it being omitted altogether, unless expense is no object. When
-the garden-party can be from 6 to 9.30 the garden could be illuminated
-with coloured lamps, and a cold supper succeed the tea. This, of
-course,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a>{142}</span> is the ideal garden-party, but one which is out of the reach of
-most people who have a great many friends, and want to see them without
-an undue and enormous expense.</p>
-
-<p>The tennis-courts, of course, should be swept and garnished and newly
-marked out for the occasion, and several enthusiasts over this (to me,
-idiotic) game should be told off to see that all who want to play can do
-so. If this is not done, we shall be vexed by seeing this game, which is
-so dear to so many, quite left alone; and I defy any hostess to attend
-to her guests and keep the tennis-balls rolling at the same time. She
-must engage the help of her younger guests, and to them must be left the
-everlasting trouble of making up the sets, which seem to me to have only
-just begun as they are finished. Now, in the dear departed days of
-croquet, a hostess had nothing to do but make up the sets of eight and
-set them going. She saw nothing more of her guests, a well-played set of
-eight lasting quite as long as the garden-party itself could be expected
-to do.</p>
-
-<p>Anyhow, there must be something beside tennis to amuse our guests, and I
-think a band is almost a necessity, particularly if one is blessed with
-a decent local band; then the expense will not be ruinous. One can get
-an excellent string band from town for about 20<i>l.</i> I particularly like
-Mrs. Hunt‘s ladies’ orchestra (<i>Les Merveilleuses</i>), all particulars of
-which can be had from the secretary, or from Chappell &amp; Co., New Bond
-Street; but sometimes it is as well to encourage local talent if one can
-do so without fatal effects, when for 5<i>l.</i> you can have a good deal of
-music, always a cheerful matter, and can sometimes have very good music
-too. But a local band should always be put a good way off, distance, as
-a rule, lending an immense amount of enchantment to their productions.</p>
-
-<p>I think also that some of the charming open-air scenes from Shakespeare
-can be given with great effect. I also am very fond of Mendelssohn’s
-open-air glees; and some recitations are often amusing. But should these
-latter be indulged in, let me beg that the hostess knows beforehand
-something about them, else will her fate be what mine was once, when an
-enthusiast began a long, long, long poem. I don’t know to this day what
-it was, whether it was meant to be pathetic or comic or not, but I do
-know my agonies were awful, and that I was rapidly going mad, when an
-opportune<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a>{143}</span> shower put a stop to the eloquence, which had gone on
-unceasingly through the passing of several express trains, all of which
-made a hideous noise, and any one of which would have been sufficient to
-daunt any other individual. Short, amusing&mdash;really amusing&mdash;recitations
-are always a success, and I should taboo anything tragic or sentimental,
-or anything which lasted over ten minutes at the outside.</p>
-
-<p>Never, however, be persuaded to give a garden-party trusting to tennis
-alone. There can be nothing more dreary than such an entertainment; it
-is like an at-home, where nothing but talk is provided. I would never
-heap on amusements out of doors or have music without stopping in doors,
-but I should always provide it in such a way that it serves as a
-pleasant reason for the gathering. An in-door at-home with music can
-never be a success if the seats are put in rows, and people are forced
-to sit stiffly close together; an outdoor one can never pass off well
-unless we prepare amusements, and see that our guests are really
-entertained and yet not overburdened with our attentions.</p>
-
-<p>I think a whole chapter might be written on the art of being a hostess;
-and yet, perhaps, a few words may suffice. I believe a hostess, like a
-poet, is born, not made. Still, a few hints may not be out of place, for
-I think sometimes parties are unsuccessful because, though possessed of
-the best intentions, the hostess may lack the knowledge that alone can
-ensure a successful entertainment.</p>
-
-<p>In the first place, without emulating two friends of mine, one of whom
-took the youngest unmarried girl in the room down to dinner, while the
-other, out of pure kindness, let his wife walk in first and then
-followed himself, and in consequence was hugely laughed at. I do think
-that in ordinary society a great deal of ridiculous fuss is made about
-precedence. What can it matter to the wife of some man knighted but the
-other day whether she or the wife of the parson goes into or out of the
-room first? If it does, she must be so stupid that I should not care to
-see her in my house; while to me it does matter immensely whether I have
-someone to take me in who knows what is going on in the world and reads
-his newspaper and sees every play that comes out. Give me a man like
-that, and I don’t in the least care what his father was, neither should
-I care one bit whether Jones<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144"></a>{144}</span> and Mrs. Smith, and Mr. Smith and Mrs.
-Brown, walked in or out of the room before me; they may all go, if they
-like, in a string. So long as I have a pleasant companion and a pretty
-table to look at, and a well-cooked dinner, I don’t care in the least
-how I reach the dining-room.</p>
-
-<p>See that the people who are likely to get on have an opportunity of
-knowing each other; watch that no one is sitting glum and disconsolate
-in a corner; remember, if you can, who is anxious to be introduced to or
-shown any celebrities in the world of art and letters who may happen to
-be present; and, above all, consider everyone’s pleasure before you
-think of your own; and in a large gathering never sit down until you are
-actually driven to do so through fatigue, and you may be quite sure that
-the party will be a success. And send out your invitations, remembering
-that the pleasantest people are not always those who can afford to ask
-you again, and that your object in entertaining is above all to give
-pleasure, to see clever and entertaining, people in your house, and not
-to ensure a return as soon as may be for what you are doing. I do not
-care if people are the highest in the land if they are dull; I would far
-rather meet and know people who are clever and interesting than the most
-exalted member of the peerage I could number among my acquaintances if
-she were stupid and uninteresting, and had nothing to recommend her but
-her coronet and her connection with what Jeames de la Pluche calls the
-‘hupper suckles.’</p>
-
-<p>I think that I have now given some idea how to ensure success at the two
-kinds of parties which might be used as means of introducing a daughter
-to the world at large; but, of course, there are a great many other
-gatherings which may be indulged in, and, above all, let us learn always
-to be ready to give a welcome to any of the children’s friends. Should
-we discover that they are not nice we can easily speak about it, and
-tell our reasons for not receiving them; but well-brought-up young
-people will only make nice friends, and we must invariably be ready to
-give them a cheerful welcome. We can always be glad to see them after
-dinner, or to afternoon tea. This cannot ruin us, and when possible we
-should let them stay in the house and encourage them all we can. At the
-same time the rules of the house must be kept; the hours for meals and
-the general habits of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a>{145}</span> elders respected; and we must not be expected
-to help in the entertaining&mdash;that must be left entirely to the younger
-members of the household, whose friends they are.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps one of the greatest problems, after we have settled on our
-manner of entertainment, is to determine how the girls shall dress and
-in what manner they shall manage their dress allowance. This should be
-made to them and paid punctually from their eighteenth birthday, but it
-should never be made without starting a girl with a good and sufficient
-wardrobe, with a miniature trousseau in fact; if this is not done,
-unless, of course, the allowance is a very handsome one, the girl will
-get hopelessly into debt, and will never be free from that millstone all
-her life.</p>
-
-<p>Dress is, unfortunately, so frightfully expensive nowadays that the
-problem of how to dress at all, always a serious one, has assumed
-gigantic proportions of late years. We went out immensely in our youth,
-and had 50<i>l.</i> a year allowed us, which we just scraped through on,
-although I remember how anxiously I watched the sleeves of one special
-grenadine dress, which I could not have afforded to replace anyhow, and
-which would wear out in the most agonising way, and which was one mass
-of darns before I could get another, and I have never forgotten the
-anxiety it gave me, to say nothing of under-garments, which really
-seemed to vanish perceptibly, bit by bit, after each visit to the
-laundress; but nowadays girls cannot go out very much and appear well
-dressed on double that sum. Even with 100<i>l.</i> a year there would have to
-be cutting and contriving, and a good sewing-maid would be an imperative
-necessity should there be really very many balls every year and
-afternoon and evening dresses to be seen after besides.</p>
-
-<p>Of course, if not more than 50<i>l.</i> can be spared to each girl, the
-attendance at balls must be limited, and a great deal of sewing must be
-done by the damsel herself. But I never recommend anyone to go to a
-cheap or common dressmaker; if she does, her garments will never look
-nice, and she will spend three times as much as she need on renovations
-and alterations, while she will run every imaginable risk of having her
-stuff spoiled and the dress made so badly that she cannot wear it.</p>
-
-<p>Supposing the girl is to begin with her allowance of 50<i>l.</i>, her
-trousseau should consist of a dozen of each under-garments<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a>{146}</span> necessary;
-she should have six pairs of silk, six of fine cashmere, and six of
-warmer cashmere hose; she should have four white skirts, a silk
-underskirt, and a quilted poplin skirt; she should have two morning
-dresses, one a good tailor-made one with a jacket to match, the other
-cashmere; she should have two best dresses, one for every evening, one
-for dances, and two for balls; and she should have a sealskin coat, a
-waterproof, and a jacket, and about three hats; she should have four
-pairs of boots and four pairs of shoes; and she should remember that the
-longer these are kept in stock before they are worn the better, and one
-pair of shoes should never be taken into regular wear without another
-being purchased to take its place. Cheap shoes and boots should never be
-bought under any pretext whatever; they wear out at once, are a hideous
-shape always, and are dangerously thin, things which should prevent
-their being in any girl’s wardrobe.</p>
-
-<p>I am often struck, particularly in crowds or in large gatherings, at the
-perfectly frightful clothes most English women wear, and I have come to
-the conclusion that this fact is caused by the extraordinary fondness
-they seem to have for any kind of black mantle or jacket on which they
-can lay their hands, and by a habit they have of crowning their heads
-with any sort of hat or bonnet that may be in the fashion at the moment,
-no matter whether it suits them or not, or whether they have anything
-else in their possession with which it can be worn.</p>
-
-<p>The tan jackets which have been so fashionable lately have in some
-measure emancipated the girls from the tyranny of the black cape; but I
-do wish all who dress at all would do so much more sensibly than they do
-now, and would never buy a single thing without carefully reviewing
-their wardrobe first, and then purchasing the addition equally
-carefully, not because it is ‘lovely’ or the ‘height of the fashion,’
-but because it suits the wearer, and above all suits what she already
-possesses. She must never enter a shop without knowing first of all what
-she really does require, and she must never allow herself to be talked
-out of her own preconceived ideas; if she does she is sure to find
-herself saddled with some utterly unwearable garment, and which,
-moreover, matches nothing she already has in her possession. A girl
-should be carefully taught what is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a>{147}</span> likely to suit her, and she should,
-moreover, be carefully instructed how to manage her wardrobe so that her
-things may be in some measure <i>en suite</i>. For example, should she
-possess a sealskin jacket, which she should if in any way possible&mdash;a
-capital little coat costs about 12<i>l.</i> to 15<i>l.</i>, and wears ten winters
-comfortably, and can be used afterwards as linings&mdash;her winter morning
-dress might be some soft brown cashmere; she could vary this by having
-two or three soft silk handkerchiefs as waistcoats in the pretty
-prevailing fashion of the day, and could have a dark brown, a deep
-yellow, or a pale pink one. This dress would look well with the
-sealskin, or with a tan jacket should the weather be too warm for the
-former, and the hat should be brown or else dark blue with brown
-feathers in; this would allow of the second dress being powder or
-gendarme blue; this could be trimmed with bands of sealskin or soft
-brown silk, and here would be every-day garments to don in October and
-wear off and on until the first few warm days in May turn our thoughts
-to new and lighter clothes. A best hat should always be in stock; but
-this must harmonise with what she already has in the way of dresses.
-These must be good; the two will then, with the help of a judicious
-maid, come out again in the following autumn as very good every-day
-dresses and dresses for wet Sundays, and all that will be required is an
-afternoon party dress, which can also be worn on fine Sundays to church
-and for afternoon wear, should Sunday callers be allowed and encouraged
-in the manner I trust they are.</p>
-
-<p>Summer dresses are where the strain comes on our resources, and where
-the clever maid comes in so well. One can buy a print costume unmade for
-about 18<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>, but made up in London it costs about 3<i>l.</i> 10<i>s.</i> to
-4<i>l.</i>; I have never seen a decently made one under this price. The maid
-should suffice for these costumes, the simple banded Norfolk bodice
-being easily managed, as can some of the looser bodices; and great care
-should be taken to purchase about three yards more of the print than is
-absolutely needed. Print dresses in our wretched climate generally last
-two seasons, and, as they generally shrink in the wash, it is wise to
-provide ourselves with material for new sleeves or new fronts; it can be
-washed before being used to ensure that no appearance of patching is
-given by the new unfaded<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>{148}</span> material being placed against that which must
-have faded a little during the last wear. We have discovered in Stafford
-(rather ‘a far cry,’ as the Scots would say) a capital dressmaker who,
-for absolutely reasonable prices, makes charming print dresses for
-45<i>s.</i> and excellent material dresses for girls for about 75<i>s.</i> I know
-these wear because we have tried them often and often, and, indeed, my
-daughter gets all her morning dresses there. I shall not publish her
-name, because I do not want her to be inundated with work or raise her
-prices, but if she can manage to do this&mdash;and naturally it must pay her
-to do so&mdash;why can’t London dressmakers do the same? I pause for a reply,
-and in the meantime meditate ruefully on the different prices I have to
-pay for my garments to those charged by the Stafford dressmaker.</p>
-
-<p>I have always believed that ladies properly instructed in this art of
-dressmaking, and banded together, could make a comfortable living out of
-providing the garments of their fortunate sisters who had not to work.
-They would not make their fortunes, but they should do well if they do
-not pitchfork themselves into the place because every other work they
-have tried has failed, but take it because they have had an excellent
-training and are really tasteful and capable of advising about, as well
-as making, the clothes, which are such a burden and trouble to most of
-us. Of course they would be invaluable to the girls with a limited
-allowance; they would know what was worn, what would suit them and their
-purses at the same time; and they would keep a staff of humbler sewers
-who would renovate the garments it should be their pride and delight to
-make the very utmost of; while to those like myself, for example, who
-must have suitable and pretty dresses, and have not sufficient time to
-obtain this desirable end without immense expense, they would be simply
-invaluable, and we should be spared making the mistakes we are
-constantly making, the while we should be sure that our advancing years
-should receive due notice at their skilful hands, and that we should be
-suitably as well as becomingly dressed, and that at a not undue expense.</p>
-
-<p>I should be very grateful to anyone who would start such an
-establishment; she could charge for her advice plus the dress, as I
-charge for my advice about furniture<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a>{149}</span> and household management, and I am
-quite sure her establishment would soon be the centre of an admiring
-throng of girl disciples, to say nothing of the elder women, who would
-be thankful to be taken in hand, to be prevented from buying unbecoming
-garments, or things which have nothing in common with the rest of their
-possessions, and who could shop there in peace, knowing they would have
-kindly counsel, instead of being assured lyingly by the saleswoman that
-a perfectly unsuitable bonnet is the most becoming thing she has ever
-seen, and that an ugly black mantle is so handsome that, given this, it
-will act as charity and cover a multitude of sins in the shape of a
-shabby dress; the real truth being that the gorgeous mantle only
-accentuates the shabbiness, and, by adding another to the rank of the
-black mantle wearers, gives another evidence of the fact that, as a
-rule, Englishwomen in the street are the worst-dressed women in the
-world.</p>
-
-<p>To really dress well costs an immense amount of money, for to ensure
-correct and pleasing dress it is absolutely necessary that all things
-shall match in some measure&mdash;mantle, dress, bonnet, and hose must be <i>en
-suite</i>; but if we cannot afford to go in for this we should restrict
-ourselves to one or two colours at the outside, we should never buy
-anything which is at the height of fashion, and, above all, we should
-wear our clothes carefully, and we should not disdain to see they are
-put away in an absolutely spotless condition, with each atom of dust and
-dirt removed, every small necessary mending done, and with soft paper
-between the folds. Unless we have this religiously seen to the
-handsomest dress soon becomes draggle-tailed and shabby, while a cheap
-or inferior material wears three times as long as it otherwise would do
-if we see it is treated properly.</p>
-
-<p>But cheap or flimsy materials should never, under any circumstances, be
-bought, unless the girls can make them up themselves, to wear at home
-evenings or during the summer, or unless the sewing-maid can do them;
-the making and trimming cost three times as much as the stuff, which
-hardly looks nice for three days, while good material pays for good
-making and wears until one is really tired of being in the same garment.
-When that feeling comes to us we should lay the dress aside for some
-months and then take it out again; the rest actually seems to have done
-the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a>{150}</span> garment good, and we wear it again with pleasure, instead of
-putting it on each morning with renewed dislike and distaste, as we did
-before we put it into the wardrobe for the short retirement we advise.</p>
-
-<p>If matrons over forty-five cannot afford to spend very much on their
-garments, I do most strongly advise them to keep to black and very dark
-shades of greens and reds; these, however, should be left absolutely
-alone should there be any tendency to <i>embonpoint</i>, then black must be
-<i>de rigueur</i>. This seems a little hard, and of course black is to a
-certain extent uninteresting wear; but we can console ourselves for the
-fate to which all must come by knowing that we are suitably attired, and
-that, at all events, we are not making ourselves ridiculous by vying
-with our daughters about our clothes.</p>
-
-<p>Women are the age they look. I know some of the above-named age who do
-not look a day more than thirty-five, and they therefore should dress as
-they please. But the moment age begins to show let us calmly acknowledge
-that our pretty days are over, and garb ourselves accordingly. We need
-not be dowdy in these days. Black and dark raiment generally can be made
-as nice as possible and quite festive-looking; but we should be suitably
-dressed, and, after all, we don’t want either admiration or attention
-then from the outside world; we are sure of both at home if we rule
-rightly and are queen of the only kingdom that is worth having&mdash;the
-beautiful kingdom of Home.</p>
-
-<p>What does anything else matter, if we are still looked upon by our
-husbands with as much pleasure and admiration as they gave us in those
-never-to-be-forgotten days of courtship, and if our children consider us
-nicer, kinder, and wiser than anyone else? To obtain such applause is
-worth the whole struggle of living to preserve it&mdash;any amount of trouble
-which we can possibly take. Therefore, let all costume themselves
-suitably&mdash;the girl in the prettiest frocks she can possibly afford; the
-matron quietly, becomingly, and richly; and, above all, let all consider
-carefully the matching that I so strongly advocate, and let the girl who
-begins her allowance always keep most correct accounts, showing these
-and her paid bills when the next quarter is paid, and let her never be
-too proud to ask her mother’s assistance, especially if she cannot see
-her way to make<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a>{151}</span> both ends meet; but never pass over a debt, and let her
-see you notice all she spends. It may seem a little inquisitorial, it
-will really save her endless care and worry if you prevent her in any
-way you can from getting into a habit of forestalling her income&mdash;a
-habit that, once formed, is one that hardly anyone ever shakes off in
-after life, try how one will.</p>
-
-<p>The ball-dresses are the garments which try a girl more than anything,
-the tulle skirts and pretty flounces, which cost so much, getting so
-soon spoiled and messed; and I think the stock of the first season’s
-dresses must be helped considerably by the parents, else will the poor
-girl feel herself worse dressed than anyone else; and that is a small
-misery that should never be allowed if in any measure it can be avoided.
-The years from eighteen to twenty-one are undoubtedly the most joyous of
-any a woman ever has. They are not always the happiest, taking our
-standard of happiness very high, but they are the brightest, sunniest,
-and most amusing that the average girl will ever have, more especially
-if she have been carefully brought up in a good atmosphere and be not
-tormented with those uncomfortable religious doubts and miserable
-hankerings after a career and after reforming the world we some of us
-had such a severe attack of at that age. I personally would not be
-eighteen again for all the wealth of the Indies. Then, I thought it
-extremely grand to believe in nothing, to have a gloomy satisfaction in
-my superior mind, which soared above the old beliefs, and formed a misty
-religion of my own, which meant nothing and led nowhere, and to indulge
-in dreadful sarcasms&mdash;mentally only (I am thankful to say I did not
-often utter them)&mdash;on the worldly wisdom of those folks who naturally
-wished their daughters to marry well and turned cold shoulders on the
-poorest and generally most undeserving of suitors, and I used to stay up
-until the small hours of the morning (although I was dreadfully sleepy)
-inditing the most awful verses against the rich and titled folks, whom I
-naturally thought were fattening on the poor and miserable, and to whom
-I intended to go on a species of socialistic crusade; and finally in
-writing a big novel, which used to make me feel very much more
-intellectual than most of the people I mixed with, and which, after an
-evening spent among the brightest and first intellects in the world, I
-used to contemplate<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a>{152}</span> savagely, having been made to feel very small,
-though I would have died rather than confess such a thing&mdash;a feeling I
-did not mean ever to experience again, once that <i>magnum opus</i> was given
-to the world and people really knew me for the genius I was. Alas! that
-recognition has never come yet; still, I am very happy without it, and
-am always doubly thankful my days of craving for worldwide fame have
-vanished, and that I neither want that nor to believe in anything any
-more.</p>
-
-<p>I hope, however, there are not many girls as silly as I was then, and as
-I dare say I should have continued to be had I not married&mdash;I, who
-scorned the idea of the ordinary British matron, and regarded children
-and household cares with bitter disgust. And during the twenty years I
-have been a wife, I am always struck with wonder when I remember the
-imaginative, impulsive thing that was myself so long ago, and try to
-trace in my present self the miserable, ambitious cynic I fondly hoped
-was some day going to set the world on fire and blossom out as a new
-Thackeray or Dickens. Nothing feminine was good enough for me; I meant
-to beat the men or do nothing at all.</p>
-
-<p>Such a girlhood as that may be of infinite service, and was, but it
-cannot be called a happy one; still, I think I was the exception, not
-the rule, therefore I ask that all who can possibly manage it will see
-their girls are happy as long as they are young; to give them their
-allowance because they should learn how to spend money, but to add a
-dress here and there, an ornament, a new trimming judiciously if in any
-way you can afford it, and go without yourself rather than allow a girl
-to be shabby or worry herself to death over a wearing-out garment; at
-the same time let her learn to do her own repairs and have lessons in
-dressmaking; make her happy, but at the same time let her help herself
-to the desired end. I hope there may never be too many daughters in the
-family for this allowance of 50<i>l.</i> to be an impossibility; no girl can
-dress really on less. If there are, she <i>must</i> be taught early to make
-her own garments, and she must learn, furthermore, that she must spend
-far more time and thought over her clothes than is good for her, should
-the allowance be much less, and should she be obliged to go out into
-society a good deal. As I stated at first, I am not now writing for the
-young beginners,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a>{153}</span> but for those whose children are growing up, and who
-have made and are making a good income; I therefore trust that what I
-have said about dress will be taken only by those for whom it is
-intended, the Angelina of ‘From Kitchen to Garret,’ poor dear, having
-often enough to do without much that she would have thought
-indispensable in the old days.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_VIII" id="CHAPTER_VIII"></a>CHAPTER VIII.<br /><br />
-<small>CHRISTENINGS AND WEDDINGS.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">There</span> is a great deal to consider, apart from the mere arrangement of
-the ceremonies, about the events of which I mean to speak in this
-chapter, therefore no book devoted to the interests of the home could be
-complete without at least some words on both subjects.</p>
-
-<p>To begin with: the old story of the bad fairy told us in our childhood,
-who invariably was forgotten, and as invariably turned up without an
-invitation at the christening of the prince or princess, is not as
-improbable as it appeared to be on the first reading. The bad fairy may
-be an infuriated relative to whom we have forgotten to write; it may be
-family pride outraged by the name chosen for the infant; or it may take
-the form of having asked the wrong instead of the right individual to
-stand for the child; but all too often it is there, and the heedless
-conduct that raised the evil fairy from her sleep may bring about
-consequences that are as unpleasant as they are certainly unexpected and
-generally undeserved, for I have often observed that the deepest insults
-are those we are most unconscious of giving, and that the evil habit of
-‘taking offence’ is often increased by conduct that was as innocent in
-design as it was certainly disastrous in the effect.</p>
-
-<p>And now let us pause for a moment and speak on the subject of taking
-offence, a matter that has given rise to endless family divisions and
-caused more broken friendships and quarrels than anything else in the
-world. To begin with: it is a sign of a common, jealous, vain nature to
-take offence; it shows that the offended person is so endued<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a>{154}</span> with a
-sense of her own importance that she is always on the look-out for an
-affront, that she has such a low idea of human nature that she is
-suspicious of everything that happens, and is always expecting some slur
-is being cast on her, some dreadful plot against her dignity is being
-hatched; and she is so vain that she thinks everything that happens is
-especially levied at her, though generally she was as far from the
-thoughts of the offending person as she well could be.</p>
-
-<p>A family possessing such a touchy member is indeed much to be pitied;
-one can see nothing or very little of any acquaintance possessed of such
-a disposition, and indeed no one would wish to see such a one more than
-one can help; but a member of the family must be considered in some way;
-therefore such an individual is all too often the bad fairy, who, having
-once received or fancied she received an insult, never forgets it, harps
-on it always, and ends by doing immeasurable harm in more ways than one
-by her disagreeable and untutored tongue. And notice I say <i>she</i> and
-her. I don’t consider we can learn much from men, but we can certainly
-learn larger-mindedness from them; for very seldom do we find a man
-taking offence in the childish and touchy fashion far too many women are
-so fond of doing.</p>
-
-<p>As a rule we are all too busy to soften the aspirations of such an
-individual, and so we drift apart without any distinct quarrel,
-gradually seeing less and less of each other, until we do not meet at
-all; but it is generally well, if we possibly can, to go straight to
-anyone like this and find out the cause of offence, at the same time
-refraining from doing so unless we care very much about it, because, ten
-chances to one, the person who takes offence once will always be doing
-so, and it is not worth one’s while, as a rule, to conciliate those who
-will find a subject for offence in everything one says and does, unless
-one is always flattering them, an easily offended person having the most
-ravenous appetite for flattery possible to conceive. Therefore, when a
-christening has to be thought about, we should first consider if there
-be any Scylla to avoid, any Charybdis past which we must navigate the
-boat, and, above all, must we endeavour to be quite independent about
-the most important subject of all&mdash;viz. how to name the child.</p>
-
-<p>I do not go quite as far as does a friend of mine, who<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a>{155}</span> considers the
-names he gives his children act on their nature, and that they
-insensibly form their characters to in some measure sympathise with
-their baptismal names. Thus, for example, it would be as impossible for
-John to be naughty as for Jack to be anything save a pickle, for Edith
-to be anything save calm and religious, while Trixy must be a flirt and
-set all her lovers by the ears. But still I do think a great deal
-depends upon the name, especially if the surname happens to be rather
-uncommon or pretty, and that the judicious selection of well-sounding
-names does wonders. But here we must steer between plain John Brown, who
-could never be anyone, try as hard as he might, and the Reginald de
-Montmorency Brown, which is the laughing-stock of the neighbours, and
-which is a grief to the unfortunate holder thereof through life, unless
-the possession of such a name forces him to become as ridiculous as it
-is itself; then, of course, he is quite happy, and we need not pity him
-at all.</p>
-
-<p>Another thing I do most earnestly deprecate is the perpetuating of
-family names, unless the name happens to be a pretty one and is chosen
-for itself. In the first place, family names are generally hideous, and
-in the second we cannot name the child after all the members of both
-families; to give precedence to the father’s family names will offend
-the mother’s family, and generally the unfortunate infant is not only
-saddled with a hideous name, but finds itself a bone of contention
-almost before it has any bones at all; while, if we boldly select the
-names which seem to us euphonious and to harmonise with the surname, we
-shall offend no one, and shall show we have an individuality that must
-be respected by the members of both families alike.</p>
-
-<p>Then, too, if families are large and have endless branches, great
-confusion is caused by each separate Paterfamilias having one of these
-names among his flock. Cousins very often stay in the same house, and
-come to visit each other, and if there are ten Miss Elizabeth Smiths and
-these happen to be staying together, how are their letters to be
-distinguished? The possession of similar initials in families has made
-mischief enough; the possession of similar names can make twice as much
-again.</p>
-
-<p>In naming a boy we must think whether he can be made miserable at school
-by having either a grand or girlish<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a>{156}</span> name, which the young fiends, his
-schoolfellows, can turn into something to his disadvantage, and, if
-possible, the younger sons should always have some good surname before
-the family name; this will enable them to keep distinct. For example, if
-the eldest son is called Charles Robinson (not that I should call any
-boy such a frightful name), his next brother can be called John Smith
-Robinson (supposing his mother’s name to have been Smith), while the
-third could be William Brown Robinson, thus marking the distinct
-families at once, and allowing the sons of the holders of these names to
-have the double name, and perhaps the aristocratic hyphen, satirised by
-Corney Grain, which is so dear to the heart of the ordinary suburban
-resident, while it is not a bad plan to give the girls their surname as
-well as a pretty Christian-name at baptism. This would allow people to
-trace pedigrees easily were it a universal custom, and would be of great
-assistance in writing the family history we ought one and all of us to
-possess, for it is astonishing how much we are helped in our attempt to
-bring up our children if we have any knowledge of our forbears, and can
-trace in any way the habits and occupations of those from whom we have
-sprung.</p>
-
-<p>Having settled on the child’s name and registered it before we tell our
-relations and friends, the impossibility of making a change saving
-endless painful and unprofitable discussions, the next thing is to
-decide on the god-parents. As a rule this is a mere form, but of course
-it should not be so. A god-parent necessarily sends a more or less
-handsome present at the time of the christening, comes to the ceremony
-if he or she can, and then forgets all about the child. But this, I
-repeat, should never be. The god-parents should keep up a friendly
-intercourse with their god-children; they should know where they are,
-what they are doing; they should most undoubtedly be present at the
-confirmation ceremony, and they should always at Christmas either write
-to their god-children, send one of those useful and pretty cards, which
-I trust will never go out of fashion, or else give some little gift that
-does not cost much, while it makes the link between them very real, and
-gives some meaning to a position that at present would often be more
-honoured in the breach than in the observance.</p>
-
-<p>Of course it is easy enough to manage this in one’s own<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a>{157}</span> rank of life,
-and we ought to have as many god-children as we can honestly interest
-ourselves in; but we should never undertake the office unless we mean to
-perform the duties; and we ought occasionally to ‘stand for’ some of our
-poorer neighbours’ children. As a rule they are delighted to have us,
-and it gives us a hold over them we could not otherwise acquire; while a
-boy or a girl has always a sense of obligation to behave better and do
-better in life if he or she has a god-parent in a higher station than
-his or her own, to whom they can come for advice and help by right, and
-from whom they receive at Christmas, at confirmation, or at any
-important step in life, some trifling token. Therefore I do not think
-god-parents can think too much of their duties, or neglect to stand for
-all they can manage to look after; it is something to do&mdash;something that
-can also do endless good, if we undertake the duties properly.</p>
-
-<p>When the god-parents are chosen the christening-day should be fixed, and
-this should be the very first day that the mother and child can go out
-of doors. The clergyman who performs all the family services should be
-asked of course, and the time selected should be about the middle of the
-day, and, if possible, the font should be nicely decorated with white
-flowers. Of course the correct thing would be to have a public service
-with the congregation; the church always looks dismal and horrid when
-empty, and, according to the rubric, the service should be public; but I
-should never advise this. In the first place, the mother is never quite
-strong enough to stand the long service; and, in the second, babies do
-howl so that the congregation is made miserable, and, therefore, what is
-really an excellent theory is a practice to be avoided. Unless the
-christening is postponed, a thing I cannot contemplate for one moment, a
-child’s first outing should be to church; there is no doubt whatever in
-my own mind about that.</p>
-
-<p>Take this for granted, and half the misery of a christening disappears;
-never allow it to be postponed, and it is done as a matter of course. If
-the god-parents selected cannot be present, they must be represented by
-proxy; and they should never be waited for, any more than they should be
-chosen for any reason save that we are fond of them, that they are
-related to us, or such friends that we<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a>{158}</span> know they would do the best they
-could for us were we to die and leave the children to the mercy of the
-world at large&mdash;as regards their mental welfare, I don’t mean their
-bodily. I repeat here, that no one has the smallest right to bring a
-child into the world for whose existence he cannot in some measure duly
-provide.</p>
-
-<p>Without emulating the Roman Catholic habit of confession, I much like to
-feel that each family possesses some clergyman among its friends, who
-stands to it in some measure in the position that a Romish priest does
-to many households. The finer ceremonies of life and death should be
-conducted by one man; and it is always a great pleasure to me to feel
-that he who married us christened all our children, while it is as great
-a regret that he cannot any more perform any more ceremonies for us, for
-he has gone where ceremonies are of no avail, and where he has, no
-doubt, already received his reward. However, though none can take his
-place, we have still a ‘family priest;’ and I think all the simple
-ceremonies of our Church are made a thousand times holier by the fact
-that one man performs them, and that he takes that individual interest
-in us no strange clergyman ever can. Let anyone see a christening in a
-town church, hastily performed by a man to whom the infant is nothing
-but an unpleasant lump of lace and fussy clothes, or at best one more
-little soldier for the great army, and the same ceremony performed by a
-man who knows and loves the parents, and I shall need no more words if
-this does not express all I mean. Let my readers note the conduct of any
-cemetery chaplain reading the burial service, with which custom has made
-him hideously familiar, and then hear someone who has known and loved
-the dead read it; I am sure, after that, I need not plead for the
-election in each family of some good man as family priest. He is a
-comfort, indeed, with whom no one can afford to dispense, even in this
-hurrying, fashionable life of ours.</p>
-
-<p>When the church and all is settled, the baby’s dress is undoubtedly a
-matter for great consideration. In some families grandmamma produces the
-robe the child’s father was christened in, and of course that, and
-nothing else, should be worn. Of course, equally, high neck and sleeves
-should be added, and a little flannel bodice can be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a>{159}</span> placed with
-advantage under the fine open-neck bodice of the robe; white ribbons
-should tie up the sleeves and be placed under the waist, and the cloak
-should not be either heavy or unduly gorgeous. The hood and cloak must
-be removed in the church, and the nurse should do this quickly and
-silently the moment the ceremony begins, placing a big, soft shawl round
-the child; this allows it to become quiet, and does not ensure the roar
-which invariably follows if the child is handed to the clergyman the
-moment its clothes are taken off. It should be rolled in the shawl until
-the christening service is over, then it can be dressed and shriek if it
-likes; no one but the nurse will be disturbed by its howling then.</p>
-
-<p>Baptism is a sacrament, and therefore there are no fees to be given to
-the clergyman, but the father goes into the vestry to give particulars
-about the name, &amp;c., for registration in the church books, and he should
-then make the clerk some small present&mdash;5<i>s.</i> would be ample for most
-middle-class families, while 1<i>l.</i> would be princely. If the clergyman
-has come some distance one should take care he was no loser by it,
-delicately and nicely, and if one is rich some present should be given
-to the church itself to mark the ceremony; there is always something a
-church lacks that we can give without ruining ourselves; in fact, all
-these simple ceremonies should teach us to love the Church with the
-singular attachment even Dissenters have for it, and should make us more
-to each other as a congregation than we otherwise would be had we no
-religion to bind us together. The christening over, the baby should be
-taken, according to a dear old Yorkshire superstition, to be shown to
-some friend who will give it bread, salt, sixpence, and a new-laid egg;
-and if this superstition be respected, and, moreover, if the infant be
-taken up in the world before it is taken down (<i>i.e.</i> carried upstairs
-before it goes down), my old nurse used to declare that it must be lucky
-and could defy any amount of bad fortune. She invariably climbed by a
-stool up to a high settee with our children because our house had not a
-third story, and much she used to amuse us with these small vagaries;
-they were a matter of real moment to her, and we indulged her. Why not?
-If they did no good they most certainly could do no earthly harm.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a>{160}</span></p>
-
-<p>Now, before we pass on from the christening ceremony to speak of
-weddings&mdash;a much more enthralling subject&mdash;I want to say one word on the
-matter of family gatherings. I know quite well I am venturing almost on
-forbidden ground, and that such an idea as a family party is beneath
-contempt in these days, when we want nothing but amusement, and dislike
-running the chance of being bored more than anything else. Still, I am
-going to speak about them, and I trust that I may show that they are not
-only unobjectionable if properly managed, but that they are absolutely
-necessary if we are to keep up anything like a good feeling amongst the
-members of one family.</p>
-
-<p>The reasons why, as a rule, families separate and fall apart are, first
-of all, because some go up while others remain stationary, and others
-creep slowly down the hill; and, secondly, because there are none of the
-small civilities and amenities of life practised among relations that
-render society possible and pleasing. If a sister thinks another
-sister’s conduct is not just what it ought to be she tells her so,
-without considering that she has no more business to take her to task
-than she has to call on and scold her next-door neighbour; they frankly
-discuss the manner in which the respective children are brought up, and,
-indeed, often make themselves so interfering and disagreeable that the
-family party ends in tears and in mutual vows against any attempt at the
-same thing again.</p>
-
-<p>Now, as regards the first offence, it is one we ought to be able to bear
-with equanimity, especially if we are remaining stationary while others
-are flourishing on a plain above our heads. In the first place, the
-honour and success of the one member is the property of all, and we can
-glory in it too, while, if we are at the top of the tree, no one will
-envy us that position if they share it in some measure, and if we take
-care that they are not hurt by our assuming airs that are as ridiculous
-as they are unkind. A man who forgets and ignores his poor relations is
-a snob, and is invariably laughed at by those who know of their
-existence; while if he never forgets them, and is good to them always,
-he reaps a reward no one can deprive him of in the tender affection,
-pride in his attainments, and unselfish delight in his success, which
-would be turned to gall and wormwood were he to turn his back on and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a>{161}</span>
-ignore those whose flesh and blood he shares, and who must always be his
-relations, try how he may to shift them off his shoulders entirely.</p>
-
-<p>Give this feeling, and I maintain that we can have family parties which
-are quite successful, more especially if we remember the second pitfall
-and refrain from these hideously spiteful remarks some families seem to
-regard in the light of indispensable tonics; and we should always try
-that our simple ceremonies of christenings, birthdays, Christmas, and
-weddings should include all those of our immediate kin who are near
-enough to share them. Let all be asked, let them see you are glad to see
-them, and give them your best (not your second best, please), and I am
-quite sure the family party will be as successful as any other you may
-be induced to give. Of course the party need not be all family; a
-judicious admixture of outsiders is always to be recommended, more
-especially if we are at the top of the tree and can take this
-opportunity of introducing some of our ‘best’ people to those who are
-pleased to meet them, although their present means may not allow of
-their entertaining them in their own houses in the same manner that we
-can.</p>
-
-<p>These differences cannot be helped, and indeed they should be a source
-of pleasure to all, as I said before, and undoubtedly would be were
-family feeling cultivated among us in a manner that it certainly is not
-in most English homes. Therefore all these ceremonies should be made an
-occasion for family parties, and at Christmas time, too, all should meet
-who can, at the house of the eldest of the family, should the father and
-mother be unable to have their gathering or be dead, as is so often the
-case; and there should be regular preparations for enjoyment, a
-‘surprise’ (my annual surprise considerably shortens my life), a
-Christmas tree, games, and a good supper, all mapped out just as if we
-expected the greatest strangers and wished to impress them with our
-forms of hospitality. Take rather more pains about the arrangements and
-details of a family party than any other; I am quite sure that if you do
-you will be amply rewarded.</p>
-
-<p>And now to think about weddings and marriages, generally a most
-enthralling subject to fathers and mothers when the children have grown
-up and they begin to contemplate<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a>{162}</span> the idea of their leaving the fireside
-for homes of their own, when begins, I think, the most difficult period
-of our life, and when we cannot be too careful whom we admit to our
-houses, the while we must not be unduly fussy, else we spoil our
-children’s chance of happiness, and make them miserably anxious for
-themselves and their possible fate&mdash;a fate I would postpone for ever if
-I had my way, for who can calmly contemplate passing on one’s daughter
-to another’s care, I wonder? while one’s possible daughters-in-law can
-never be anything, I fear, save successful rivals to the throne one
-occupies in one‘s boys’ hearts.</p>
-
-<p>But these things will happen, and equally of course all girls should
-marry, a happy marriage being the best fate for any woman, no matter how
-cultivated, how talented she may be. I have no doubts whatever on that
-subject. Suppose she writes; who so fit to battle with the publisher as
-the husband? or she paints; well, he can smile on the critics and
-undermine them with a good cigar and all the rest of it. Or does she
-sing? Surely, surely the husband’s protection comes in there more than
-ever; while for those lucky women who only want to fulfil their destiny
-and make a home, the husband of course takes his right position at once,
-and is guardian, bread-winner, and head in a way that Nature intended
-him to be, and that all real women want him to be. The few who clamour
-for another arrangement don’t understand the subject at all, and are as
-ridiculous as they are abnormal and few in number, and therefore need
-not be considered in the least. There is, therefore, no doubt that women
-should marry if they can; and if not, well, there is plenty for them to
-do, although they will never be as happy&mdash;I am sure of that&mdash;as the
-happily married woman; neither will they ever suffer as an unhappily
-married woman must, albeit very many unhappy marriages would have been
-far otherwise had people had common sense at first and married each
-other as what they were, and not what they supposed each other to be;
-resenting their own mistakes on the unfortunate object they had deified,
-and not on their own stupid selves, while of course they should be
-resolved to make the best of what was inevitable, and to really make the
-wife or husband become all they had imagined him or her to be.</p>
-
-<p>When the discussion on the subject of ‘marriage being a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a>{163}</span> failure’ was
-going forward I was only deterred from joining in the fray by the
-knowledge that my indignant feelings on this subject were so strong they
-rendered me incoherent; but I was glad I did not, for no one could have
-driven sense into the heads of a good many of the silly women who wrote
-rubbish about their woes. Of course there are unhappy marriages, plenty
-of them, made worse, to my mind, a thousand times by our present
-disgracefully easy divorce laws; but, trace them to the beginning, and I
-venture to state that one and all of these marriages would have been
-happy had the parties to them been properly brought up, and, above all,
-properly told what marriage really means, not only to themselves, but to
-those who may very probably come after them. Not one girl who marries
-but knows that the man by whose side she stands at the altar is not only
-her lover, but the possible father of her children; and yet what mother
-would not consider herself simply dreadful were she to say this to her
-daughter when the proposal is made, and her fate is yet in abeyance? and
-yet what more important matter could be spoken of? I think none. A girl
-who marries a man&mdash;an old man&mdash;for his money, even from the very highest
-possible motives&mdash;from the idea, may be, that she is not only ensuring
-the safety of her own future but that of many who may be near and dear
-to her&mdash;is committing not only a crime against herself and her own
-future, but is ensuring that the faults, sins, and selfishnesses of the
-man she marries are passed on to endless generations; and where such a
-marriage is contemplated I maintain that a mother has an imperative duty
-before her, and that she must tell her daughter straight out, that the
-sufferings she must endure in her own person in daily contact with her
-future husband will not be a tithe of what will come upon her when she
-begins to recognise his sins and his evil ways reappearing in those
-children who may come to her, and who will bring their own retribution
-with them; be sure of that.</p>
-
-<p>It is a priceless boon to know that one inherits a right and a duty to
-be good in the broadest sense of the word. I personally do not care one
-fig what a man’s trade or worldly position is so long as he is
-absolutely honest and trustworthy, and would not act or speak an
-untruth; and this is the sort of inheritance we should strive to hand
-on<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164"></a>{164}</span> to our children. The higher the station the more should be the
-endeavour to live in such a way that our example may be valued; but,
-whatever the station, let us remember that there is always some one
-influenced by us, and that we have obligations to them which we must
-consider if we want to live a really good life.</p>
-
-<p>And one of the first things to think of is this question of marriage,
-not only because of ourselves, but because of the children who may come
-to us, and who must be thought of before we give our girls to men who
-may make them ‘fairish’ husbands; perhaps may not ill-treat them or beat
-them, but who are not possessed of sufficient individuality to be the
-heads of their own houses, and who have not honest souls and some
-ambitions above the mere ruck of living and making as much money as they
-possibly can, not only because such men can never be the makers and
-possessors of a home, but because they may leave children whose
-weaknesses and wickednesses may not only break their mother’s heart, but
-may make the world worse than they find it, one’s truest ambition being
-to make the world, or one’s own special corner thereof, better than one
-found it in some way or other.</p>
-
-<p>Young people naturally resent advice, and rarely, if ever, act upon it,
-and we have all taken this to heart so much that some of us have ceased
-to give advice at all. But this should not be so; the advice may not be
-taken&mdash;that we cannot help&mdash;but it is our duty to give it, and I hope
-all mothers will do so, whether their children act upon it or not. We
-should not shirk a duty because we cannot see any effects; they may
-appear even when we have long ceased to look for them.</p>
-
-<p>The sins of the fathers must be visited on the children; there is no
-doubt about that. We need not argue about it; it is a fact that we all
-have to acknowledge, and therefore there is no need to go into the
-rights and wrongs of the matter, for no amount of argument will do away
-with this inevitable truth; and equally, therefore, a woman should
-choose not only a man she loves, but a man she respects, and one it
-shall be her very greatest pride to know her children will resemble. She
-will be spared endless suffering if she do, for there is no suffering on
-earth like that caused by wicked children, or even by the anxieties
-about<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a>{165}</span> weakly and suffering children; and she had better remain an old
-maid all her life than bring upon herself the unspeakable wretchedness
-of having children who are a constant source of anxiety to her because
-of what they may, nay, of what they <i>must</i> inherit.</p>
-
-<p>Given a clean record, a stainless youth, a good constitution, and an
-honest worker, and we need ask no more for our girls. It will not hurt
-them to begin their new life on a much lower scale than that which they
-have been accustomed to, more especially if we have taught them their
-duty to themselves and their future. Then, if we know that the young
-couple honestly love each other, we can feel content.</p>
-
-<p>And by love I do not mean blind, unreasoning passion, the mad,
-extraordinary feeling that one reads about in novels, and which
-generally lands one or the other in the Divorce Court, and of which I
-have nothing to say, but I do mean that wonderful self-devotion to
-another, the mutual respect and regard, and the absolute unselfishness,
-that make up the true love that never fades, and that increases year by
-year in those whose married life was based on such love as this, and
-whose home reflects around the happiness which is centred there, and
-which can only be procured by those who begin their life together on a
-proper basis, and who do not expect to find in each other the god or
-goddess of perfection, who would probably be as unpleasant to live with
-as he or she is undoubtedly non-existent in this world of ours.</p>
-
-<p>Of course all this sounds fearfully prosaic, and is, no doubt,
-middle-aged philosophy; but it would not be worth writing down if it
-were not middle-aged, because it would be imagination only and not the
-fruits of experience. I have lived a certain number of years, and I have
-had large opportunities of observation, and I am certain of what I am
-saying, that the truest marriages are those which are framed on respect
-as well as love, and that those women are the happiest who can
-implicitly trust and believe in the men to whom they have given
-themselves in some measure body and soul; and that, furthermore, they
-get the most out of life who take care every moment they live has
-something to occupy it, and that that occupation benefits someone beside
-their immediate selves.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a>{166}</span></p>
-
-<p>I have often heard people say that the first year of their married life,
-and indeed that the honeymoon itself, was the very dullest and most
-difficult period of their whole lives; but I have always listened to
-these statements with astonishment, for I have come to the conclusion
-that if what they say is true it must be that, like the despised family
-parties, it is because they did not manage their affairs properly. Why,
-the honeymoon should be the most amusing journey one ever makes&mdash;I know
-mine was&mdash;for one sets out together with an entertaining feeling that
-the absence of the chaperon for the first time gives just a <i>soupçon</i> of
-delightful impropriety to the journey; that for absolutely the first
-time in one’s life one can go where one likes and do as one likes; that
-if one liked to put on one’s Sunday frock on a week-day one would only
-be admired and not scolded, and that one’s shopping becomes actually
-important and not frivolous, because it is for the house and not for
-oneself merely. Besides, there is the amusement of seeing new places
-with a congenial spirit, and with one who does not consider it his duty
-to insist on learning all he can about a place; in fact, the
-honeymooners are no longer children to be educated, but people bent on
-amusing themselves together, with no <i>arrière-pensées</i>; these come
-afterwards. Then business has become dreadfully imperative in its
-demands on the husband, while the wife leaves home for a holiday, her
-mind distracted between pleasure and a melancholy foreboding of what may
-happen during her absence to children and household, neither of which
-can naturally trouble her during that first delightful jaunt, which
-should always be to some amusing, bright place where theatres can be
-fallen back on should it be wet, or where picture galleries could be
-visited under similar adverse circumstances. One can visit the dullest
-of places safely together after one has been married years; there are
-then mutual interests which will always occupy husband and wife: but at
-first this is actual suicide; there are then not very many things to
-discuss, and the unfortunate young people fall back on endearments and
-use up in a month that which should last them comfortably for all their
-lives.</p>
-
-<p>But we are arriving at the honeymoon before we have allowed the
-engagement, and must therefore retrace our steps, or else we shall omit
-the most important item of all&mdash;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a>{167}</span>viz. how to act when we see an
-engagement is imminent and we are not sure if we like it or not. We
-should soon make up our minds on the subject though, for if we do not
-approve we can easily manage that the young people shall not meet any
-more. It only requires tact and common sense, two qualities which seem
-to me often strangely lacking in the ordinary British household.</p>
-
-<p>And, indeed, all that appertains to matrimony is made very difficult by
-the extraordinary manner in which English society looks upon the
-relations between young men and girls; in some measure allowing great
-familiarity, and in another way turning on anyone and calling her
-‘match-maker,’ should the unfortunate individual attempt to bring
-together those she thinks would like to see a little more of each other.
-Match-maker, indeed! Why, I consider it the duty of every happily
-married woman to try and make others happy in a similar way; and I have
-known more than one happy woman rendered a miserably disappointed
-spinster, just because the right person was not at hand to manage a last
-meeting, or give the one opportunity that was all that was required to
-make liking into love, or to ensure the speaking of the question that
-had trembled on the lips for some time.</p>
-
-<p>Of course marriages are made in heaven, but I also know that Heaven
-helps those who help themselves; and as no girl can do that, it is the
-duty of her married friends to help her, especially if they have any
-common sense, and can act <i>Deus ex machinâ</i>, without letting anyone know
-what they have done.</p>
-
-<p>If our young people are ‘desperately in love’ with the wrong man, or the
-wrong girl, all the better that the love is desperate; it will burn
-itself out all the quicker; but not if we oppose the match tooth and
-nail, though at the same time we need not countenance it. We should,
-under these adverse circumstances, state calmly but boldly the reasons
-we have for our dislikes; we should simply put all the ‘cons’ we know in
-plain words, and we should listen to the ‘pros’ equally calmly, and we
-should never allow a <i>personal</i> dislike to make any difference in the
-matter; but our reasons should be valid and not of the ‘Doctor Fell’
-kind. Then, if the daughter or son is not convinced, say no more, do not
-oppose it; let the young people see as much<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a>{168}</span> as they can of each other;
-if there are disagreeable relations, make them very welcome to your
-house; be civil but not affectionate to the man or girl; and finally be,
-or rather appear to be, absolutely indifferent. Make a fuss, rage and
-stamp and oppose, and you may at the same time order the trousseau. Act
-as I advise, and ten chances to one the match will be broken off; but if
-it is not, and should it turn out well, be the first to thankfully
-acknowledge it. Should it turn out badly, refrain from the delightful
-habit of saying, ‘I told you so,’ but instead recall to the offended
-party all the reasons he or she had for marrying; do not condole, but
-rather remind him or her of the early days and of the love that once
-existed, and remind them that marriage, once entered into, must be made
-the best of. You will do far more good and have far more satisfaction in
-healing the breach than in proving yourself a true prophet; for if
-people were more sure than they are now, that being bound they cannot
-get loose, they would cease to strain against the cords, use would
-accustom them to them, and finally what was once irksome would be
-pleasurable. People who have once loved each other can always remember
-the happy days of their youth; and, remembering them, naturally will
-long to return to them, or to secure at least in some measure a reflex
-of them in their middle age.</p>
-
-<p>But, having contemplated this side of the picture, let us look at the
-far pleasanter one where all goes merry as a marriage bell, and the
-engagement is all that it should be. Yet before we do this I must just
-add one other word, and that is that, come what may, no marriage should
-ever be entered on, on any pretext whatever, unless the consent, if not
-the approbation, of the parents has been obtained. I have seen several
-marriages begin like this; I have never seen one that turned out well,
-or that was absolutely a success, and I do wish my readers to remember
-that this is a fact, and to therefore refrain from conduct that can have
-but one result; besides which, how can the children of such marriages
-turn out, if one has no control over them, should they desire to do
-likewise? for they have the one unanswerable argument in their
-possession: ‘You did it; why should not I?’ Then also a man never really
-respects a woman who throws over every one of her relations for him: he
-knows he is not worth the sacrifice, and though he may be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a>{169}</span> flattered at
-first, ultimately he despises the girl who gave up all for him, and
-never really regards her with the reverence he must give to her who
-comes to him from her home, from her mother’s hand, knowing that that
-home is the emptier for her absence, and that a place should always be
-kept there for her, should she require to return there for any reason
-whatever. Home should be always home to the married children of the
-household, just as much as it is to those who remain spinsters and
-bachelors; and on no account should the doors be closed on them, or
-should they be allowed to feel that they have become in a measure
-strangers there, and that their place being filled knows and requires
-them no more. The trousseau of a girl should be as ample as can be
-afforded, and should have more under-garments than anything else;
-dresses alter in fashion so rapidly that it is folly to burden her with
-too many garments; neither are unmade costumes any use in these days,
-when no good dressmaker will make up one’s own materials. I should,
-therefore, give a girl not less than two dozen of every feminine
-garment, and as many more of each as I could afford. A good trousseau
-would cost about 200<i>l.</i>, and of course as much more as the parents are
-prepared to spend; it should include a sealskin coat and a long fur
-cloak; the other outside garments should of course depend upon fashion
-and time of year, but it is a good plan to have some extra yards of
-material to all the dresses, particularly if the bride is going away
-from London to a distant part of the world.</p>
-
-<p>When the engagement is really formed, and the wedding is beginning to be
-the subject of conversation, one cannot say all the difficulties are
-over; there are the bridegroom’s family to welcome and be introduced to,
-and though, of course, if the bridegroom is well known to us this
-initial difficulty will not have to be encountered in all its worst
-forms, still very often the engagement alters one’s relationships
-suddenly, and it requires careful steering then to avoid friction; as a
-rule the parents on both sides think their children might have done
-better, and it is generally difficult to prevent this feeling being
-unduly apparent. Then I do beg for all my girl friends that they may
-have a pretty wedding; I do not want enormous sums spent on the wedding
-dress, but I do want the church to be nicely<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a>{170}</span> decked, all her friends to
-be asked who care to come, not because they may possibly give wedding
-presents&mdash;a species of blackmail which has become seriously unpleasant
-lately to anyone who is not sufficiently strong-minded to refuse to give
-because they are afraid of being out of the fashion&mdash;but because they
-are really friends, and will bring good luck by their loving prayers and
-real affection. And I do deprecate for all the hurried ‘quiet weddings’
-in a tailor-made frock; a woman should be in white on her festal day,
-and it should be indeed a festal day if her marriage is entered on in
-the spirit I have been writing about.</p>
-
-<p>I love a pretty wedding: the bride in her lovely white dress, and her
-group of bridesmaids; the flower-decked church, the hymns, and the
-bright faces of the choir boys (I must own I have a great weakness for
-choir boys, and generally make friends with them all) are all such a
-bright beginning to a new life; and if the solemn words are spoken by
-the ‘family priest,’ the man who, may be, married the parents and
-christened and prepared the bride for confirmation, there remains
-nothing to be desired, and we can wish the new home God-speed, knowing
-our wishes will have every chance of being fulfilled.</p>
-
-<p>Afternoon weddings, with the flower-decked tables and the inexpensive
-refreshments, bring pretty weddings within the reach of everyone nearly;
-even the erstwhile elaborately decorated cake now bears a wreath of
-simple and real flowers, instead of the pinchbeck temple that used to be
-reared on the centre; and all that is required besides is a certain
-amount of cake, ices, tea and coffee, and a little wine. Here again the
-expenditure can be regulated by the income; but it need not be an
-expensive affair unless one specially desires that it may be.</p>
-
-<p>Now, most people are married by banns, and licences are rarely required;
-this simplifies matters very much. But before the wedding is definitely
-decided on I should advise the clergyman of the church one is always in
-the habit of attending being consulted about all the legal forms; he is
-sure to know all that is necessary, will tell you exactly what you ought
-to do, what the choir and organist will expect (of course, if the
-organist be a gentleman, as he often is, and a personal friend, you must
-give him a present, not money), and what steps you must take about the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a>{171}</span>
-decorations. But do not hand these over to a shop; be sentimental for
-once, and let personal friends undertake this duty. I would rather have
-hideous decorations put up by hands that loved one, on such an occasion,
-than the most exquisite trophies ever designed by Mrs. Green and put up
-by those who do not even know the bride and bridegroom by sight.</p>
-
-<p>I do hope every bride may soon have her <i>dot</i>, just like all French and
-German maidens have; but in any case she must not go penniless upon her
-wedding tour. Coventry Patmore’s idea in the ‘Angel of the House,’ that
-his three-days’ bride asked him to pay for the sand-shoes&mdash;‘Felix, will
-you pay?’&mdash;as a matter of course, is a mere man’s notion. I am certain
-she must have hated to do it, and would have given anything for some
-money of her own: so do not let Paterfamilias forget this, even if he
-have the conscience to allow his daughter to go penniless into her
-husband’s house; and let him give his daughter a nice little sum of
-money, in order that she may not have to ask her husband for a farthing
-until their return home, when the allowance question should be gone into
-and settled, thus doing away with the constant jar about money, which is
-at the bottom of more matrimonial unhappiness than is anything else.</p>
-
-<p>I think I have said all that is to be said on the subject of weddings,
-and have stated boldly how best to secure the happiness of our children;
-it is a subject on which I feel very deeply, and when I see girls marry
-men who cannot by any possibility make good husbands or good fathers, I
-long to tell them this, but of course no one but their mothers can; and
-I shall hope that I may influence one or two to do so, and moreover to
-insist that their children do not marry to perpetuate the disease or the
-evil tendencies that must wreck innocent lives that have no business
-ever to exist; for while, if marriage is entered into properly, there
-can be no failure about it, marriage being the perfection of life, the
-uniting and joining of the two lives, which, separate, are indeed
-incomplete, but which, brought together, form an absolute and wonderful
-whole, a marriage which perpetuates the vices of a drunkard, of an evil
-temper, of an habitual liar, or the constitution of a consumptive or of
-a lunatic, is absolutely wicked, and can never be anything but a curse
-to the wife and mother, whatever it may be to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a>{172}</span> the man himself. A <i>roué</i>
-has discounted his chances of a happy married life. No woman can reform
-a <i>roué</i>, and even if she could she should not try, because in her
-children she will perpetuate the father’s vices, and will make the world
-worse a thousandfold by those she brings into it, while at the best she
-may save a soul, though I personally do not believe she could even do
-this; at all events, it is not right to sacrifice her future and her
-children’s future in the endeavour, and therefore I hope she may never
-try.</p>
-
-<p>As I said before, we cannot explain away the mysterious influence of
-heredity; but as it exists and is inexorable in its consequences, we
-must acknowledge it, and we must all do our best so to live that we can
-give our children the noblest inheritance on earth&mdash;an unimpaired
-constitution, and a name unstained by any mean or low vice, a name that
-may be our proudest possession: aye, even if we saw it first above the
-window of some suburban shop! Then shall the world become better because
-we have lived in it and given it hostages also: and so shall we prove
-what I should like to be always preaching&mdash;that marriage is the most
-blessed state on earth, if it is begun and carried on mutually with
-esteem, affection, and real consideration, for each other’s welfare.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_IX" id="CHAPTER_IX"></a>CHAPTER IX.<br /><br />
-<small>ABOUT THE BOYS.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">The</span> poor boys! When I begin to write about their home I could almost
-weep when I think how small a space of their young lives they are
-permitted to spend under the home roof.</p>
-
-<p>I have said so much in my former book about home education that I
-suppose I must not say very much more now, but I long to repeat my
-protest against the present manner in which boys are sent away from
-home, almost before they are able to stand alone, quite before they are
-able to withstand all the thousand and one temptations that assail them
-the moment they are turned into the herd of boys which represents a
-school, and where the poor things<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a>{173}</span> have to spend most of what ought to
-be the very happiest part of anyone’s life. However, as public opinion
-is against me, I am going to set down here the best way of mitigating
-the evils, and I also intend to give the relative expenses at some of
-the best of our public schools and colleges, so that those who read this
-book may see at a glance whether they can afford to send their boys to
-Harrow, Eton, Rugby, or Clifton&mdash;Harrow being put first by me, as I am
-devoted to the bright, healthy, happy place, as I suppose all are
-devoted to the public school of which they know most; for, much as I
-deprecate the life at school which is so far away from home influence,
-and much as I should prefer to live at Harrow and have my boys home at
-night, there is something about a public school education which nothing
-else gives, and which can be entered fearlessly at fourteen if the boy
-have been well trained and if he have a certain amount of moral courage
-and good principles of his own. It is madness to send a weak-minded lad
-who inherits evil propensities to a public school; he is sure sooner or
-later to disgrace himself and his wretched parents at the same time.</p>
-
-<p>But before going into the question of schools and expenses there, let us
-dwell for a few minutes on the arrangement of the boys’ rooms in the
-house, which should ever be the happiest place in the world to them, and
-from which should flow that never-failing stream of sympathy in their
-progress, their pursuits, and their general welfare which has borne many
-a lad on to success and to a brilliant place in the world in after life.
-An authority told me once that the boys who did best were undoubtedly
-those who had most letters from home; who knew everything that was
-happening at home just as well as if they were there; to whom the
-movements of the family and of the animals were as familiar as if they
-still were among them, and who were not afraid to tell their parents
-anything. Sympathy is a priceless gift; sympathy between home and the
-boys at school is an anchor indeed, and will keep them safely in the
-harbour when every other means might otherwise have failed. And this
-sympathy can but be expressed in constant communication between home and
-school, and by a loving care, while the boys are absent, of their rooms,
-their belongings, and the especial niche which should be kept sacredly
-for them, and not cleared out hastily for them to inhabit, as it were,
-on sufferance<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a>{174}</span> during the all too brief holiday time they spend at home.</p>
-
-<p>I do not mean to say that during their absence the rooms should never be
-used, that would be simply too ridiculous; but they should not be taken
-into household wear; if they are they cease to be the boys’ rooms, and
-in consequence the boys feel they are a nuisance and putting some one
-else out; they do not naturally take their places in the circle, feeling
-they are filling a gap which has never been filled since the day they
-returned to school.</p>
-
-<p>I should certainly try to have a place set apart for the boys for wet
-days and for their own special occupations; if this cannot be managed,
-their bedrooms should be so arranged that at one end they can carry on
-their several hobbies without doing any damage to the finer portions of
-the house; but, if in any way possible, secure a sitting-room for them
-where they can do as they like; and if you want really perfect holidays
-find some enthusiastic skater, cricketer, or walker as holiday tutor,
-and make him responsible for the welfare of the boys. As they do not
-live at home, naturally there is no one told off to keep special care of
-them or to go about with them; if this is done, the holidays pass
-without a hitch, and without unduly threatening the mother’s life, who,
-try as she will, cannot be sure that, if the boys are out alone for half
-an hour longer than usual, they are not drowned, or lost, or lying in
-ditches with broken legs, and who can never school herself to be their
-companion, even should she be strong enough to be so, because she is
-always expecting something dreadful to happen to them. At least I know
-what I feel on the subject, and I suppose I only feel what everyone else
-does in the matter. In the boys’ rooms, whether bed or sitting rooms, I
-advise always the invaluable dado; this ensures the lower parts of the
-wall being kept tidy, and minimises the expense of doing the rooms up
-when they become shabby. A rail along the floor, or rather a piece of
-wood about three inches wide laid along the floor close to the
-wainscoting, will keep the chairs, &amp;c., off the paint, and then, if we
-have a pretty paper above the serviceable matting, or cretonne, or arras
-cloth which forms the dado, we shall be quite safe to preserve the room
-for some time, looking fresh and nice and bright.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a>{175}</span></p>
-
-<p>If baths have to be taken in the boys’ rooms, or if they clean their
-rifles, skates, or other matters there, or if they have pet animals
-which share their abode, I strongly advise that the floor should be
-covered with a plain good linoleum without any pattern on, and then on
-the top of that a strong square of carpet should be laid. Wallace’s
-‘Victor’ is a capital carpet, and so is Pearke’s Anglo-Indian square
-carpet. This should not be fastened down in any way, and should be most
-rigorously folded back by the housemaid during those hours when bathing
-or dirty work is being carried on. The linoleum can always be cleaned
-with soft warm water, and kept in order with boiled oil and turpentine,
-and the carpet can be put back in a moment, thus making the room tidy at
-once.</p>
-
-<p>Rubbishy cheap furniture should never be bought for a boy’s room.
-Naturally by this I do not mean we should be unduly reckless over what
-we buy for the boys, but that we should go to some good man like
-Wallace, and tell him that we want good seasoned wood and handles which
-will not pull off, and drawers and doors which will not stick, and which
-will not tempt the lads by such conduct to undue violence in the matter.
-Boys are always in a hurry, always impatient. They can’t help it; it is
-a failing of the sex, and half the damage boys do is caused by the fact
-that we do not realise this and often give them rickety or common
-furniture, because ‘anything is good enough for the boys to knock
-about.’ There cannot be a greater mistake. Give strong ash furniture,
-made properly, a good plain brass and iron bedstead, and a good chain
-mattress, and we shall find it pay; yes, even if the boys play ship on
-the mattress, the necessary waves being well represented by the manner
-in which the mattress goes up and down when jumped upon by the intrepid
-sailors. Our mattresses have served as ships and as oceans too, but they
-are as good now as the day they were bought, simply because they were
-very expensive; but if they had not been dear I don’t think there would,
-have been anything left of them by now; therefore cheapness is no
-economy, as regards mattresses at any rate; of that I am quite
-convinced. A good suite of ash furniture containing wardrobe, washing
-stand, and toilet table can be had for about 10<i>l.</i>, and I do not advise
-less being given. This should be supplemented by a chest of drawers to
-hold shirts,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a>{176}</span> socks, &amp;c., and the boots should be kept either downstairs
-in the cloak-room or else in a proper boot cupboard; and I strongly
-advise the toilet covers to be in art serge, simply trimmed by a species
-of edging in crewels composed of about nine stitches, one long, one
-shorter each side of the long stitch, and one each side shorter still,
-like this:</p>
-
-<div class="poetry"><div class="poem">
-<pre>
- | | |
- | | | | | |
- | | | | | | | | | |
- | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
- | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
-</pre>
-</div></div>
-
-<p class="nind">This should be carried round the edges of the cover in a lighter shade
-than the serge itself, and would cost about 2<i>s.</i> a cover, or indeed
-less, as serge is double width. There would be no ball fringe to pull
-off by shutting it heedlessly in a drawer, and there would be nothing we
-could not easily replace, should blacking, paint, oil, or any of the
-thousand and one messes in which boys seem to revel be spilled upon it.
-White toilet covers are absolutely useless, and of course it would be
-really ridiculous to give them more elaborate covers, which could only
-be spoiled.</p>
-
-<p>It would not be of much use here to give any special schemes of
-decoration for boys’ rooms, but I may say that the cheaper the wall
-paper is above the dado the better. Boys are continually adding to their
-stores of pictures and ornaments, and are as continually shooting at a
-mark on the wall with anything that comes handy, and are not above
-giving the flowers on the paper a nose, or a mouth from which a pipe
-proceeds, or ears which resemble those of a donkey; and though these
-decorations may be left a certain time it is best to have such a paper
-which, while being pretty, is one that we can replace without an undue
-struggle on our part; and I may mention Haines’s capital 7½<i>d.</i> blue and
-terra-cotta papers. The blue could have blue paint, and a blue matting
-dado, and a yellow and white ceiling paper; the terra-cotta might have
-ivory paint, a terra-cotta and green cretonne dado, and curtains of the
-same cretonne. Helbronner has a beauty, 604, at 1<i>s.</i> 8<i>d.</i> a yard, and
-the ceiling paper could be Land’s pale green and white ‘Watteau’ at
-3<i>s.</i> the piece. Wallace’s dull green ‘lily carpet’ would make a capital
-square there, as would his red lily in the blue room, where the cretonne
-could be Oetzmann’s red and blue Westminster<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a>{177}</span> cretonne, which should be
-lined, as should all cretonnes which do duty for blinds as well as
-curtains; this all curtains should do, had I my way entirely in the
-matter. The walls and books and pictures should be the boys’ own choice,
-and so should be the ornaments on the mantel-piece, though a clock
-should be invariably provided, and this should be one the veracity of
-which should be unimpeachable&mdash;punctuality must be enforced and hours
-kept, and no excuses should be allowed on this score. If the youth
-declares he wishes to make up for his perforce straitened hours of
-repose at school, let him go to bed as early as he likes&mdash;never
-interfere with that, but do not weakly allow him to be late in the
-morning; it puts out the whole household, and for no reason at all, and
-should never be countenanced for a moment. Late hours in the morning
-mean more than I have space to dilate on here; but you may be quite sure
-that a household which is late in the morning is never a well-managed or
-prosperous one. Late hours then denote lazy, self-indulgent habits, and
-therefore should never be allowed.</p>
-
-<p>If the boys begin them in the holidays be sure they will be continued
-after school is left, and therefore be firm on this point, although I
-know all too well how difficult it is to be stern and inflexible towards
-the boys who are only at home for the holidays, and naturally are in
-consequence just a wee bit spoiled by their indulgent parents. Now if a
-sitting-room can be given to the boys and the tutor, I advise it being
-furnished as prettily as may be as regards the walls, but the floor must
-not have a carpet, and room must be found there for the lathe,
-carpenter’s tools, and odds and ends so dear to the heart of the boy;
-and here let me beg and implore parents to aid and abet their children
-in any hobby they have, if they can do so reasonably and comfortably,
-and without undue expense; and let me also beg of them to keep and treat
-with scrupulous reverence any drawings, efforts of literary genius, or
-of mechanical genius, which their children produce and present to them;
-at the same time I do not advise their being exhibited to the world at
-large, while I should carefully explain to children, that the thing was
-kept, not because of its present intrinsic merits, nor because it was a
-distinct effort of genius, but because it was their doing, and because
-we should like to compare<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a>{178}</span> it with future efforts, in order that we may
-see how they have improved.</p>
-
-<p>Without going the lengths that ‘Misunderstood’ does (a book, by the way,
-which has made more prigs than any other under the sun, in my belief), I
-think parents often make their children miserable without in the least
-meaning to do so, by reason of the manner in which they refuse to
-interest themselves in their pursuits. It is not pleasant to partake of
-sticky black cakes baked in the dolls’-house pans, to sit on the cold
-stairs in the dark looking on at a spirited representation of a
-magic-lantern, the slides of which we know by heart, and we may endure
-agonies over the hundredth representation of the usual charade, neither
-may we feel profound interest in the School Magazine; but at the same
-time we are bound to think we do, and we ought to be more than thankful
-that our children care for these things and go in for them, rather than
-for the usual hanging about, reading those dreadful Rider Haggard books,
-which have done more harm than anything else, I verily believe, to the
-youth of the present day, and have vitiated their tastes, until nothing
-pleases them which is not written in gore and bound up in a mixture of
-pistols and swords, which is as odious as it is unnecessary.</p>
-
-<p>The boys’ books ought to form a very distinct feature in their
-sitting-room, and, if possible, we should endeavour to keep out all
-Haggardish stories. But this is almost impossible in these days of
-independence and fourpence-halfpenny literature. I know I can’t, and
-glorious detective stories and other works of art are to be found all
-over the house; but we must do our best to improve the standard, by
-placing other better books in the authorised bookcases, and by
-ridiculing and, if necessary, confiscating whenever we can all we so
-highly disapprove of. At the same time I honestly confess this is mere
-advice: I cannot stem the torrent myself, but hope there are other more
-strong-minded parents than I am, who may be able to do so, though I have
-done my best in the matter, and have tried everything I can think of to
-eliminate these books, for which I have the most hearty contempt and
-dislike.</p>
-
-<p>It would be no use, I think, to say more about the arrangement of the
-room which should be set apart for the boys; but I cannot say too much
-about the necessity of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a>{179}</span> dear things having a place where they can do
-absolutely what they like, for half the friction which seems to me
-inevitable in other people’s households, when the boys are at home, is
-undoubtedly caused by the fact that the boys are in the way, and have no
-place that they can call their own. Under these circumstances they worry
-their sisters, spoil the furniture, and upset the servants; and more
-especially does this happen in London, where there is nowhere for them
-to disport themselves, and nothing that they can do except promenade the
-streets and go to theatres and such-like places of amusement.</p>
-
-<p>Of course, little boys can be managed well. They have their nurseries
-first, and then their governess and schoolrooms. It is when they begin
-to go to school that the trouble begins. The governess does not care
-about them preparing their lessons in her room; and if they are day
-boarders, which they certainly ought to be until they are twelve or
-thirteen, and, indeed, until they go into the big school, where they
-should be when they are fourteen and not a day before, the lessons must
-be prepared at home, and this work should doubtless go on under the
-superintendence of someone in authority. Parents often can and do help
-immensely, but there are very few men who do not find their classics
-decidedly rusty by the time they are required to superintend their
-children’s preparation; besides which they are, as a rule, tired with
-their own day’s work, and are not in the least inclined for extra
-labour, and often do not possess the necessary stock of patience
-required for this kind of employment.</p>
-
-<p>My ideal education would consist of sending the boys to a good school in
-the daytime, and in taking care that they prepare their work in the
-evening, under a good tutor, who would be trusted to simply superintend
-them, and to give the necessary help, but who would not do the work for
-them; he would not live in the house, but would simply come for the
-couple of hours during which the boys would work. This would do away
-with the great objection to home education, which is undoubtedly the
-work which has to be done at home, and which cannot be properly
-superintended unless someone is told off for the purpose, unless the
-parents are well up in the work of the day, and are furthermore prepared
-to give up almost all society for the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a>{180}</span> sake of looking after the boys&mdash;a
-thing which should never be done, for it is most important that we
-should make and keep friends; if we don’t care for them for ourselves,
-we must care for them for the sake of the children, who would find
-themselves shut out of everything when they grew up did their parents
-withdraw themselves entirely from society when they were yet small.</p>
-
-<p>Of course a great many people cannot manage to live where there are
-really good schools, but equally of course a great many can, and when
-this can be managed it undoubtedly ought to be; and places like Bedford,
-where the schools are excellent, and Wimborne, where the Grammar School
-has improved mightily of late years, and where house rent is moderately
-cheap and living very inexpensive, offer especial advantages to a widow
-left with two or three sons to educate, and to military men and others
-who can live where they like, and have only their boys’ education to
-think about, Bedford being especially good for this purpose.</p>
-
-<p>I believe there is a book published which gives all necessary
-particulars about all these schools, and indeed about all the schools
-all over England, but I shall only mention those of which I have
-personal knowledge, as I am no believer in second-hand information: this
-can always be procured for special cases, and would be out of place in a
-book like mine, but I do strongly advise all who can&mdash;all who have no
-settled occupation that binds them down to a special locality&mdash;to live
-where they can have their children educated from the home roof. I am
-quite certain that this is the ideal and proper education, and results
-in a better class of man all round. They may not be as polished, their
-manners may not be as perfect, and they may be shy and gruff, but their
-morals will be ever so much better, and they will be better men in the
-highest sense of the word. For though they may ‘marry the lady’s maid,’
-like the youth in ‘Punch,’ at all events they will marry her; they will
-not degrade and then desert her, as alas! so many men do nowadays. But I
-myself don’t believe they would do anything of the kind; by far and away
-the best men I know are those who have been least away from home, and
-they are not among the unsuccessful ones of this life either.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a>{181}</span></p>
-
-<p>However, it is sometimes impossible for parents to manage home
-education, though in London there are so many opportunities, that it
-must be more a case of must than can’t, for there are Westminster, St.
-Paul’s, and the University College Schools, all of which can be managed
-after the boys are old enough to be trusted in the streets alone, and at
-the latter of which for the absurdly low fee of 8<i>l.</i> 8<i>s.</i> a quarter
-can be had the best education in the world, but where the boys need
-learn very little if they can scrape through the day’s routine without
-finding themselves in either the ‘black’ or the ‘appearing’ books; but
-even then they do not learn as little as they can if they try at either
-Eton or Harrow, where it seems to me the education given is especially
-useless for practical service, and can never by any chance fit the
-recipient for any real work that he may have to undertake.</p>
-
-<p>The perfect education should be that which most fits a man for his work,
-and no one can watch the manner in which we are being ousted by Germans
-from every place without allowing that their education has something
-which ours lacks, and that unless our boys can be taught to emulate
-their patience, perseverance, and eager quest after knowledge, to say
-nothing of their capabilities of existing on a pittance, we shall wake
-up some day to find our lads quite out of the running, because they do
-not understand life properly, and because they are unable to fight for
-themselves against the present overwhelming German invasion. There is a
-limpness, a passiveness about the boys of the present day that is
-something dreadful, and that I think springs in some measure from these
-fatal examinations, and the fearsome higher education. They see the
-prizes can only fall to the exceptionally gifted and hard-working
-members of the fraternity, and therefore they are dispirited before they
-start, knowing that, try as they may, they can never succeed. Far from
-stimulating most youths to work, the sense that unless they are geniuses
-they cannot pass the exams cripples them, and they cease to care to try
-for what they know they cannot possibly obtain, read how they may; and
-therefore I cannot but think the excessively high standard that must be
-reached nowadays in everything is a mistake, and that serious
-consideration should be given both to this and to the fact that our boys
-are<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a>{182}</span> not able to compete with the Germans because something in our
-scheme of education and learning does not permit them to do so
-successfully.</p>
-
-<p>Let us then give home education a chance and see what can come of that,
-and let our nurses be French and German, so that the children may learn
-these languages with their earliest breath; and, moreover, let us in
-some measure educate our children for what they are going to be. It is
-no manner of use to give those who are to be in trade the same teaching
-as that required for the learned professions; and I venture to state
-that if a man has to take to trade the sooner he does it the better.
-Eighteen ought to see him in harness of a light kind, but harness all
-the same; and I furthermore state boldly that it is absolutely waste of
-time and money and everything else to send boys abroad to school. They
-never do any good there, and they may get into most frightful mischief.
-If boys must be sent to France or Germany, take them yourselves,
-otherwise you may be quite sure that both time and money are wasted. I
-am not speaking without book, and I have never heard of one school,
-either in France or Germany, where the education was of the least use,
-neither will it be until more schools follow the example of Clifton, and
-form settlements abroad on the lines of our public schools; though even
-then I am inclined to adhere to my own opinion and urge on parents,
-whose sons require to know French and German thoroughly, to go to both
-places themselves, and stay a couple of years in each in some good town.
-If they do they will achieve their object, and their boys will command
-far higher prices in the labour market than those can who do not know
-any languages except their own, and a certain amount of Latin and Greek,
-which, it seems to me, they learn only to forget as soon as ever they
-can manage to do so.</p>
-
-<p>But if parents will not hear of home education they must most carefully
-select the preparatory school, and they must manage to afford in
-addition a first-rate public school, for nothing can possibly be worse
-than a cheap or inferior place of education; and it is an astonishing
-fact to me that in such an important matter as is education one requires
-as a rule so little guarantee that we actually receive what we are
-paying for.</p>
-
-<p>No one can be a lawyer or doctor without credentials;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a>{183}</span> anyone who likes
-can open a school, and command scholars too. Why should not the State
-interfere here?&mdash;it is very fond of interfering dreadfully on far less
-important matters&mdash;and say boldly that no one shall have a school at all
-until he has qualified himself in the eye of the State, and is diplomaed
-or hall-marked in such a manner that one can tell at once whether he is
-fitted for the work or not? Until this is done I much fear that
-preparatory schools will not improve to any great extent, and that the
-middle classes will continue to send their children to people who are
-utterly unfit for the work they have undertaken. A personal reference
-from some parent, often enough from one who knows little indeed about
-his children, and possibly a few letters after the name, are considered
-quite sufficient guarantee by most people that they are obtaining all
-that they are paying for.</p>
-
-<p>A good preparatory school costs from 85<i>l.</i> to about 125<i>l.</i> a year; of
-course less can be paid, and I dare say more can be paid also, but I
-consider an excellent school can be had for 100<i>l.</i> a year. Of course
-there are always extras beside, and these depend entirely on the means
-of the parents, and in some measure on the schoolmaster himself, who
-should undoubtedly be a man in whom we can trust, and to whom we can
-give our confidence, telling him exactly what we can afford to spend,
-and also what manner of child our special boy is, and also, most
-important of all, what he is to be, and what particular talents,
-weaknesses, or goodnesses he may be likely to inherit. We should also
-give our child our confidence. We should tell him emphatically what we
-can afford for him, what we wish him to do, and finally encourage him in
-every way to get on by writing to or seeing him constantly, and by never
-letting him imagine for one moment that ‘out of sight means out of
-mind;’ he is more in our minds, just because he is absent from us, than
-he would be were he constantly in our presence.</p>
-
-<p>As regards public schools, Harrow costs roughly about 200<i>l.</i> a year,
-and the first term’s bills are as follows:</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt">£</td><td class="rt"><i>s.</i></td><td class="rt"><i>d.</i></td></tr>
-<tr><td>Board and washing</td><td class="rt">30</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Public tuition and school charges</td><td class="rt">11</td><td class="rt">11</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Entrance to school and house</td><td class="rt">16</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Private tuition</td><td class="rt">5</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="bt">62</td>
-<td class="bt">11</td>
-<td class="bt">0</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a>{184}</span></p>
-
-<p>Of course the 16<i>l.</i> entrance fees do not come in again, but this is
-more than spent on extras. There are subscriptions to endless things and
-payments for extra tuition, for which a long list of printed names on
-the first account in some measure prepares the unhappy parent, who
-somehow never is prepared, for the extraordinary amount of new clothes,
-mending, hair-cutting, and other trifles, which go to sum up the
-accounts in the ensuing terms.</p>
-
-<p>Eton seems to me to cost about 20<i>l.</i> a year more, and the bills of one
-term are as follows:</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt">£</td><td class="rt"><i>s.</i></td><td class="rt"><i>d.</i></td></tr>
-<tr><td>Board and tuition</td><td class="rt">44</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Washing</td><td class="rt">2</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">7</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Head master, school instruction, &amp;c.</td><td class="rt">8</td><td class="rt">8</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="bt">54</td>
-<td class="bt">8</td>
-<td class="bt">7</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p>This is without entrance fee, and the extras seem to me to be rather
-more frequent, while Rugby is considerably less than either, the bills
-there being as under:</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt">£</td><td class="rt"><i>s.</i></td><td class="rt"><i>d.</i></td></tr>
-<tr><td>Tuition</td><td class="rt">13</td><td class="rt">6</td><td class="rt">8</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Boarding</td><td class="rt">24</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>School stationery (this varies)</td><td class="rt">1</td><td class="rt">10</td><td class="rt">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Medical officer</td><td class="rt">0</td><td class="rt">10</td><td class="rt">6</td></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="bt">39</td>
-<td class="bt">7</td><td class="bt">2</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p>Both at Eton and Rugby the allowance given by the house master is 1<i>s.</i>
-a week, at Harrow 2<i>s.</i>, but besides this of course the boys take money
-to school. The smaller boys at Harrow should not have more than 3<i>l.</i>
-during the term, and out of this they must pay sundry subscriptions. At
-Eton I think the pocket-money can be almost anything, while at Rugby
-3<i>l.</i> does until the boy gets into the Sixth, when he should have more
-money, and when the books, a heavy item in most school bills, are far
-more expensive than they were in the lower forms.</p>
-
-<p>Individually I know most of Harrow, as I said before; but, as these
-bills have been copied from actual accounts rendered to friends of my
-own, I think I am justified in printing them, and they will also serve
-as a guide to those parents who are hesitating where to put down their
-boys’ names, a ceremony which should take place when the boys are about
-six or seven; and if the parents have no ‘traditions,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185"></a>{185}</span>’ and are not
-wedded to any special school by reason of the father having been there
-before, or relations on either side having been in the special school,
-the school should be chosen in some measure to suit the boy’s health,
-and also in some measure his future occupation. I should not send a lad
-who was going to work in any shape or form to Eton. That school should
-be reserved for those useless individuals, who toil not neither do they
-spin, nor should I send a boy to Harrow who intended to go in for trade
-or anything save one of the learned professions. Those who have a big
-business to go into might be sent to Rugby or Clifton, but I should
-prefer to let them attend St. Paul’s or the London University School, or
-else send them to Bedford or a similar establishment.</p>
-
-<p>When the boys are at school, the holidays should be in some measure
-legislated for and all arrangements made for the boys’ welfare; and of
-course no parent who cared for his or her children would possibly be
-away from home or out of reach of the boys during that time: the
-parents’ holidays, which are as important in some measure as the
-children’s, should come off when school has begun again, but on no
-account should they occur when the boys are at home; and if possible the
-summer holidays should be spent by the sea, the beloved sea, which, as
-fashion changes, is, I am sorry to say, becoming unpopular, and is left
-alone by those who are fashion led, and in consequence impelled towards
-the country or ‘foreign parts.’</p>
-
-<p>But of the holidays more anon; I have not yet quite done with the boys,
-and the holidays can have a chapter to themselves later on.</p>
-
-<p>I think the most important hint of all which I have to give is that on
-no account should a boy leave school or college until we have something
-to put him into, and which shall occupy his time. There is nothing more
-fatal than idleness, and it should never be countenanced in any shape or
-form, and I do hope some day to find that all boys who have to earn
-their living may be given some sort of a trade&mdash;something they can do
-with their fingers, outside and above any profession they may be going
-in for. Given a trade they can never starve, and would be far more fit
-for the colonies, where so many lads flit, looking forward to more
-freedom and more outdoor life than they can possibly have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a>{186}</span> here in
-England, though I cannot imagine a more foolish thing than to allow a
-youth to go out ‘on spec;’ unless he has something to go out to, he had
-far better remain where he is; if not he will soon degenerate into
-something far less like a gentleman than he would have been had he
-remained at home and taken to some good and honest trade. I cannot help
-thinking that these ‘decorative’ days of ours will open up the furniture
-business to gentlemen, and that soon our houses will be provided for
-entirely by men who are artists, and that those who cannot originate,
-yet have artistic tastes and an eye for colour, will not despise work
-which is far more interesting than desk-work for example, and far more
-remunerative than the position of clerk, with which so many lads of the
-present day have to satisfy themselves. The gentlemen of England can
-bring back trade to England if they choose, they can replace the
-slovenly workman and the shoddy work, and it remains to be proved if
-they will do so; at present people’s eyes are open, and trade is no
-longer a badge of disgrace, so I hope some day to see industrial
-villages turning out good work, where at present are empty labourers’
-cottages and impecunious landlords with untilled farms; and in the
-meantime I beg our boys not to remain idle but to work somehow, it does
-not matter much at what, but at some work that will be good and must and
-will find a market.</p>
-
-<p>If a lad is going into one of the learned professions it is necessary
-that he go to college, where the expenses all told cannot be less than
-300<i>l.</i> a year, but before he does so his father should seriously tell
-him that whatever allowance he has is the extent of what he can give
-him, and that under no circumstances whatever will he be responsible for
-any debts of any sort or kind, and that doing what he is for him he is
-doing his utmost, and that he would rather see him go through the
-Bankruptcy Court than impoverish his sisters or his other brothers to
-pay his extravagant liabilities. Let this be well talked over at home in
-private, and I do not think the lad will place himself in the miserable
-and anxious position of many a young man who ladens himself with debt
-during his college life, which cripples all the best of his existence
-and embitters his days in more ways than one; but the boy must have
-parents on whom he can rely, and he must know that they mean<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a>{187}</span> absolutely
-what they say. There can be nothing more unfair than for the girls to be
-starved mentally and morally, and the younger lads badly educated,
-because a parent has to pay debts which ought never to have been
-contracted.</p>
-
-<p>Gambling debts should be utterly ignored by the parents, and gambling in
-every shape and form should be absolutely forbidden, the reasons thereof
-being plainly stated; and I think all parents should be more open about
-their circumstances than they are to their children, who often get a
-most erroneous impression about their people’s income, because of the
-manner in which they live. Why! because they have a carriage and a big
-house is the very reason why they can do no more, and why should the
-parents give up all they have justly earned because their children are
-extravagant? I see no reason myself, and I myself would certainly never
-do so to pay extravagant liabilities, or liabilities incurred on the
-gaming-table or on the racecourse.</p>
-
-<p>Give the boys a good education and a start in life, and provide the
-girls with 150<i>l.</i> a year, either when they marry or at your own death,
-and you have done your duty by your children. The girls cannot starve on
-that income, and neither would they be the prey of any fortune-hunter;
-but no one has a right to bring children into the world in the ranks of
-the upper middle-class and do less; misery will come of it if he does,
-be quite sure of that.</p>
-
-<p>Of course misfortunes may happen, and the parents’ early death may
-prevent an actually safe future being secured for the children; but, as
-a rule, an early death should be provided for by insurance, and
-misfortunes, if undeserved, generally bring sympathy in their train, and
-there are many mitigations, even for these, if parents are judicious and
-have not flooded the world with an enormous family that they can have no
-prospect whatever of providing for. As soon as the boys have finished
-their education let them begin to work; a lawyer can begin; a doctor can
-commence at once to wait for patients even if he cannot buy a practice,
-which would be the best thing to do; a curacy can be procured for a
-cleric, and if trades are chosen the sooner those trades are entered
-into the better; but whatever is selected never allow idleness of any
-shape or form. Idleness is the parent of all mischief. A man well and
-healthily<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a>{188}</span> employed has neither time nor inclination to go very far
-wrong.</p>
-
-<p>Let the boys be encouraged to have tastes, and above all let every lad
-in England join some Volunteer Corps. I consider it a duty for every man
-to be able, and to show himself willing, to protect his home, and if he
-is encouraged at home he will volunteer, and will take an interest in
-his work, which will be invaluable to him. The expeditions are pleasant;
-all lads love a gun, and adore being able to shoot, and if the taste is
-acquired in the school cadet corps it will continue afterwards; and
-remember that all out-door sports and occupations are so many
-safeguards&mdash;tennis, bicycling, volunteering, shooting, hunting, riding,
-are all so many protections against temptations, to which all lads are
-exposed, and on which of course it is impossible for me to speak here.</p>
-
-<p>To sum up the advice I would give about our boys, I would say that love
-of home, love of sport (not racing, not battue, nor pigeon-shooting, nor
-similar inanities, but <i>bonâ fide</i> sport), and love of an out-door life,
-are the great protection for the lads. Do not encourage theatre-going
-and endless balls and society affectations, but do encourage in every
-way you can those things of which I have been writing. I am sure then we
-shall have a healthier and a better race than the ‘masher’ Gaiety
-bar-lounger, for whom I have such a profound contempt, or than the
-race-frequenting, betting, ‘lemon-squash’ consuming, nerveless,
-brainless idiot that is so extremely prevalent in the present day.</p>
-
-<p>As soon as a lad is eighteen he ought to have some definite allowance
-for all his small expenses and to enable him to clothe himself, and this
-must depend entirely on his parents’ circumstances, and where he is and
-what he is doing. Of course, if he should be placed in his father’s
-business he must be paid for his services, and this pay must cover all
-he spends; but as a rule 50<i>l.</i> is ample. A man can dress well and
-decently on 30<i>l.</i>, the other 20<i>l.</i> he can do what he likes with; and
-he should be encouraged to save for a holiday in ‘foreign parts.’ He had
-far better travel about than smoke his senses away, or waste his money
-in going to theatres and in-door amusements of any kind.</p>
-
-<p>Boys are an endless anxiety, there is no doubt about<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a>{189}</span> that, and it is
-greatly, no doubt, owing to that fact that the system of sending the
-boys away to school has arisen; but although they are at school we
-cannot get rid of our responsibilities, neither should we try to do so.
-We are responsible for their existence, and we are bound to do the best
-we can for them. We shall, I am sure, be rewarded for all they have cost
-us, if we never relax our care until they are really grown up and are
-capable of managing their own lives; then, if we have trained them to
-love their home and to habits of work and occupation, we can do no more
-but trust in Providence; we shall have our reward sooner or later, of
-that I have not the smallest doubt.</p>
-
-<p>As soon as a man can keep a wife he should marry and begin to make a
-home for himself. I am a great believer in early marriage, and I should
-like all my boys to marry as soon as ever they can. There is nothing
-teaches a man as the responsibility of marriage does, and nothing on
-earth is happier than a happy marriage. It is the complement of life,
-the perfect whole that all should strive to attain; about that subject I
-am quite sure, and none of the stock arguments against marriage, nor the
-stock jeers, will ever alter my opinion. Of course there are troubles,
-if so they are borne better together; pleasures come, they are
-brightened by having someone to share them; and above all, marriage
-makes the home; the home gives an object in life and steadies at once,
-therefore marriage should be encouraged in every way it can, and those
-who are married should help on the marriage of others, and should show
-by their own conduct and bearing that it is the best state on earth, if
-undertaken out of pure love, not silly passion, and maintained in the
-mutual respect, affection, and toleration for each other’s faults, which
-are the very bonds of the home, and which last when every slighter bond
-has given and fallen away. Once our boys are married we can breathe
-again, at all events our active work for them is over; and the less we
-interfere with them after that happy event the better chance will they
-have of making a success of their lives. All we have to do is to win the
-love and confidence of their wives, and that is not difficult if we
-never offer advice on any subject, and give them as much affection as we
-can. Above all must we resist the dear delight of talking over their
-<i>ménage</i> with other people. ‘A still<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a>{190}</span> tongue means a wise head,’ says
-the proverb, and a tongue cannot possibly be too still, when once there
-are sons and daughters-in-law in the family.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_X" id="CHAPTER_X"></a>CHAPTER X.<br /><br />
-<small>SOME DOMESTIC DETAILS.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I think</span> that I am more often consulted about how to manage servants, and
-how to apportion an income, than on any other detail of domestic
-management, and therefore I am of opinion that a few more words on these
-subjects may not be out of place here, although, as I have repeatedly
-stated elsewhere, no real help can be given by a stranger on either
-matter, and that only a species of general rule can be laid down, either
-about the management of the maids or how to set apart and divide the
-income we may have to spend. To begin with the income: I have had two
-scales drawn up by an accountant, and now present them here for what
-they are worth. The first is the very smallest income that any two
-people should marry upon, in my opinion; although I know many folks,
-especially among the ranks of the clerics, who ought to know much
-better, who continually do so, and as continually have numerous
-families, for which they cannot provide in the least, and for which they
-beg in the most shameless manner, and for whom I have neither sympathy
-nor patience. As a rule these unfortunates live in the country and have
-big gardens and houses found them rent free, but I have nothing to say
-to them here, and, as I cannot conceive how ladies and gentlemen can
-bring up, clothe, and feed their children, and manage their household
-respectably on less than 800<i>l.</i> a year, I have no ideas on the subject,
-and therefore cannot write on what I know nothing about.</p>
-
-<p>Let us therefore take the ordinary young lawyer or young man who is
-‘something in the City,’ that unknown City, the occupations of which are
-so mysterious in my eyes, and let us suppose he has 500<i>l.</i> to spend
-every year, increasing, let us hope, should he indulge in the luxury of
-a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a>{191}</span> family; a luxury he has no more right to go in for on a tiny income
-than he would have to set up a carriage and pair, without being able to
-pay all the concomitant expenses; and this is how he should parcel out
-his expenditure:</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">£</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><i>s.</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><i>d.</i></td></tr>
-<tr><td>House-rent in London</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">80</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Rates and taxes</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">20</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Repairs to house and furniture</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">30</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Two servants’ wages and keep</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">90</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Keep of self and wife, <i>at least</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">75</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Clothes for wife and pocket-money</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">50</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Clothes for husband, including his daily<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; luncheon and City journey</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">70</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Coals</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">6</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Life insurance</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">27</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Summer outing</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">12</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">10</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Washing</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">16</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="bt">476</td>
-<td class="bt">10</td><td class="bt">0</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="nind">Leaving: the magnificent sum of 24<i>l.</i> 10<i>s.</i> to cover doctors’ bills
-and the thousand and one incidental expenses which are always cropping
-up, to say nothing of amusement. One could hardly rise to the upper
-boxes on 500<i>l.</i> a year if one must live in town and have appearances to
-keep up as well.</p>
-
-<p>It is better at first, if the income is very small, to live in the
-suburbs. There are not so many temptations to spend money, and there
-would not be much going out. In London of course, the going out is
-endless; there must be cabs, new gloves, flowers, and the hundred and
-one extras that carry off one’s money, and two servants are a <i>sine quâ
-non</i>. If the suburbs are selected, cabs and evening gloves, &amp;c., need
-not be legislated for; one servant could do the work; and the house-rent
-and taxes would come to 50<i>l.</i> instead of 100<i>l.</i>; but there would be
-the husband’s season-ticket to consider, and furthermore the intense
-dulness that is the wife’s portion, for suburban residents are not
-hospitable; they are, most of them, not very well off, for of course all
-rich people fly to London; they are mutually suspicious of each other’s
-<i>bona fides</i>, and are, moreover, engrossed as a rule in their domestic
-duties, and when the husband returns from town he is not only tired with
-his work, but with the added railway journey; he usually hankers after
-his garden in the summer and his arm-chair by the fire in the winter,
-and does not care to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a>{192}</span> go out, more especially as he judges from his own
-feelings in the matter, and is quite sure his host wishes him at home in
-bed quite as much as he wishes himself there.</p>
-
-<p>But, again, here I must show how impossible it is for another person to
-really advise a friend on this subject of division of income
-satisfactorily. There are plenty of suburban residents who are
-absolutely satisfied with their fate, and are equal to the misfortune of
-a small income. In that case I have told them precisely how they can
-manage best on the sum of 500<i>l.</i> a year. I can assure them they will
-have to be most economical and excellent managers to do that; and they
-can furthermore understand that it costs about 50<i>l.</i> a year to add a
-child to the establishment, and that 45<i>l.</i> a year is supposed to keep
-and pay a servant. These two details will be of assistance, maybe, when
-the income increases and the owners thereof contemplate a little
-launching out.</p>
-
-<p>An income of 1,000<i>l.</i> a year should be apportioned as follows:</p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">£</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><i>s.</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><i>d.</i></td></tr>
-<tr><td>House</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">100</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Rates and taxes</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">33</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Repairs, renewals, &amp;c.</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">50</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Two servants (rather better wages allowed)</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">100</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Keep of self and wife</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">100</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Wine, &amp;c.</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">12</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">10</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Clothes and pocket-money for wife</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">75</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Clothes for husband</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">100</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Coals</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">10</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Insurance</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">50</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Summer outing</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">30</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Washing</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">26</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>Balance for incidentals</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">313</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">10</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom">0</td></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="bt">1,000</td>
-<td class="bt">0</td>
-<td class="bt">0</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="nind">And this larger balance would be drawn, upon for the extra expenses,
-such as entertaining and amusements, charities, and the thousand and one
-pleasant ways of spending money that are open to the possessor of the
-larger income, and are rigorously out of the reach of the owner of
-500<i>l.</i> a year.</p>
-
-<p>Then, too, there are all sorts and conditions of things to consider
-before laying down a law on the subject of apportioning the income; such
-for example as the consideration<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a>{193}</span> if the income dies with the husband,
-or if it may come from capital safely invested. In the former case the
-insurance ought to be very largely increased, as that is the only
-absolutely safe manner of saving one’s money. As a rule it costs about
-27<i>l.</i> a year to insure the receipt of 1,000<i>l.</i> at death if the insurer
-is a young man, and I ask all intending bridegrooms to consider what
-this would mean if this be all the provision they can make for their
-brides, supposing they were to die and leave them with two or three
-little children and no other means. They could not live on 40<i>l.</i> a
-year, which is about all they would receive, and I therefore do trust
-all young men will seriously consider the matter before rushing into
-matrimony. At present a great many folk are like the ostrich, they bury
-their heads in the sands of present content and never consider the evil
-days that are before them. If they remain two, no one can blame them,
-but I do blame unendingly the selfish creatures who burden this
-overcrowded world with more genteel paupers. If people on small incomes
-insist on doing this, let them have the courage to bring up their
-daughters as upper servants and their boys to good honest trades; it is
-the genteel pauper, the girl who can paint a little, teach a little, and
-embroider a little, and the boy who, come what may, must wear a black
-coat or its equivalent in light tweeds, who have no right to be made to
-exist, and for whom the world has absolutely nothing to offer save a
-certain amount of snubs and a very large quantity of the unappetising
-dish known as the cold shoulder.</p>
-
-<p>Therefore, if the income dies with the husband and there are children, a
-certain amount of money must be put aside annually for insurance; it
-ought to be enough to bring in 100<i>l.</i> a year to insure the wife from
-starvation when she is too old, too worn with all she has had to do to
-attempt to keep herself; and there should also be no false pride about
-the manner in which the children are educated; they should go to Board
-schools, where the teaching is excellent and far better than one can
-procure at ordinary small schools, which may be much more ‘genteel’ but
-will not be half as useful; for the Board schools are far and away
-better than anything that could be obtained from the wretchedly
-underpaid teachers who would be the girls’ portion. The necessary
-companionship with wretchedly poor and dirty<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a>{194}</span> children, which is the
-great drawback to a Board school education, could be mitigated if all
-those who are really worthy of the Board school education were to share
-it; and surely a good mother could tell her boys exactly what to avoid,
-and the lads could come straight home and simply be taught in the
-school. The girls would not need so much looking after, for they are far
-more conservative naturally than boys: boys will play with and talk to
-anyone; a girl very soon discriminates for herself, and will not play
-with another if she suspects her to be in the very smallest degree below
-her in the social scale.</p>
-
-<p>It will be observed that I do not in the least take a sentimental view
-of life, for I feel that when one contemplates the terrible army of
-martyrs, the girls who have been ‘genteelly’ brought up and are
-‘genteelly’ starving or living on their most unwilling and hard-working
-relations, one cannot say too much or write too much on this subject,
-and I cannot also but think that when there is the cry in the land that
-there undoubtedly is for more servants, more good and trustworthy
-lassies to help us with our domestic duties, and that when ladies in
-Australia are so pressed by their troubles and by the fact that they
-cannot get ‘help’ for love or money that they are actually driven to
-write to their papers to suggest that men may marry more wives than one,
-because no one but a wife is found to do house work, and that one wife
-is not sufficient for the purpose, it is quite time that the surplus
-maidens should consider whether it is quite as impossible to become a
-servant as it appears to be now. As decorators, governesses, and
-spoilers of canvas, they are undoubtedly not wanted, but they are
-required badly for simple domestic work, which is, none of it, half as
-hard as unlimited tennis, dancing all night, or rowing: not any of it
-half as unpleasant as is living on the begrudged charity of some
-relation, who wants all his hard-earned savings for his own children, or
-as degrading as is marrying the first man who asks them, and who can
-give them some sort of a home, for whom they have not the smallest
-respect&mdash;the very smallest amount of affection.</p>
-
-<p>Now, of course there are disagreeable details about house work, and
-scrubbing cannot be pleasant, but surely the ‘scrubber’ could come in
-daily and do up the worst of the ‘chores,’ as the Yankees say; and what
-is the rest? Waiting<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a>{195}</span> at table, not half as unpleasant as selling at
-fancy fairs; opening and answering the door, not half as hateful as
-bringing one’s wretched little painted match-boxes and tambourines to an
-overstocked guild, or a most unsympathising and equally overstocked
-shopman, who is often far more impertinent than any caller ever could be
-to the lowest maid in the establishment; and I personally should prefer
-to make beds, wash china, dust rooms, and clean silver to hanging about
-listlessly in a shabby frock, knowing quite well that I could never have
-another unless some reluctant relation gave me one she would much rather
-have given to her own children; and I cannot recollect any duties which
-would be expected from the girls which I have not enumerated above, or
-that they could not honestly undertake in a sheltered home and under
-proper matronly care.</p>
-
-<p>And if all servants were ladies&mdash;and I see no reason why every servant
-should not be a lady if she tries&mdash;think how much more our houses would
-be our own than they are at present! Even with the best of maids there
-are always places in it and corners where we feel we cannot go exactly
-when and where we like, and where, try as we will, we cannot be
-absolutely sure that thorough cleanliness prevails and where, moreover,
-we cannot be ‘decorative’ because all our efforts are frustrated by
-those who cannot shake off their early training and can no more refrain
-from smashing china and scraping paper off the walls than they can learn
-to trust us implicitly and in their turn allow us to trust them.</p>
-
-<p>Remember, I personally never can nor will join in the fearful outcry
-against the maids which I hear on all sides of me. I have related my own
-experiences in Vol. I. of this book, ‘From Kitchen to Garret’ and I have
-not one word to add or take from what I have said there. I still
-maintain, if you take your servants young and train them yourself, and
-if you don’t expect perfection and show that you mean to be obeyed, you
-will have no trouble; but you will never have perfect service until you
-can have ladies in your house, whose ladyhood will ensure the perfect
-trustworthiness, the honesty, the cleanliness that no cottage-bred girl
-can ever give, because she can never be taught to really comprehend the
-necessity of all these particulars.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Crawshay’s scheme of lady helps has, I believe, quite collapsed; at
-all events, one hears nothing about it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a>{196}</span> now; but I see no reason why an
-earnest effort should not be made to try sending our superfluous girls
-to Australia as lady helps, and then, if that succeeds, trying them in
-England, where there seems to me to be a real and crying want of good
-domestic servants. I am only judging from other people’s woes; for,
-although I dare say I have mine before me, I have not experienced them
-yet, and have always been able to find what I wanted without any undue
-exertion on my part. Of course the house would have to be reorganised to
-some extent. The bedrooms would have to be as fresh and pretty as one
-could make them; and, above all, we must reform our kitchens, which are
-at present the most unhealthy, disagreeable, and odious rooms in the
-whole house, as they are undoubtedly the ugliest, and where, in ordinary
-households, the unfortunate maids have winter and summer to sit while
-the cooking is done, and in heat that I wonder allows them to live at
-all, and that must exasperate their tempers as much as it must try their
-constitutions.</p>
-
-<p>Now let us consider the ideal house and the ideal kitchen, and I cannot
-see myself why both should not exist; let us build our washing-stands so
-that hot and cold water are able to be turned into the basin which can
-overtip and empty itself; smaller conveniences could be managed in the
-same manner, and all the housemaid would have to do would be to wipe out
-the basins daily, to sweep up the pieces with the ‘Ewbank’
-carpet-sweeper, which makes no dust and picks up every morsel off the
-floor, to make the beds and dust, the very making of the beds being
-simplified by the chain and hair mattresses now general. All that has to
-be done is to turn the mattress daily, to spread the under blanket and
-sheet absolutely smoothly over it and tuck them in, to replace the
-bolster and pillows, and the over supply of blankets, &amp;c., carefully
-straightened and tucked in. Is that harder than tennis, more menial,
-forsooth, than living on one’s relations, or husband-hunting genteelly
-under the greatest of all difficulties, the difficulty of looking nice
-and merry, and being good-tempered, on absolutely no means at all?</p>
-
-<p>Now let us take the ideal kitchen, the kitchen as made and designed by
-Mr. G. Faulkner Armitage, of Stamford House, Altrincham, Cheshire, who
-has most kindly drawn<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a>{197}</span> for me the different pieces of furniture with
-which he decorates this charming room of his, and which, in the
-Manchester Exhibition, were stained green and decorated with brass
-hinges and locks, and see how we could adapt this to our present style
-of house, the house with the tiny kitchen, the smaller laundry, pantry,
-and scullery, and where there is not an atom of sitting-room apart from
-where all the work is going forward. In that case is it worth while to
-make a pretty room, and if we do can it be possibly kept so? I think it
-can, even with our present maids, whose taste for the beautiful is not
-largely developed; it most certainly could if we are given the maid of
-the future, the real lady-maid, who may come forward to the rescue of
-those unhappy beings who at present haunt the precincts of registry
-offices and spend small fortunes on advertisements which can have only
-the most barren results.</p>
-
-<p>But before I go on to speak of the ideal kitchen and the cook of the
-future; who will hardly concern my readers, as she is not born at
-present, or if she be is certainly not ready for engagement, I should
-like to say a few words about the best manner to obtain servants,
-repeating continually that if we require good ones we must take them
-ourselves and train them ourselves. I am always met, when I state this
-fact, by the unanswerable argument, ‘I have neither time nor patience to
-teach my servants; I can pay good wages. I want to engage skilled
-labour.’ Skilled labour may be had for money, there is no doubt, but the
-person who engages her maids on these lines will never have good or
-affectionate servants. She will be waited on, dressed, cooked for
-admirably, no doubt, but she will obtain nothing beyond her mere
-bargain. For better wages, a more aristocratic place, her cook will
-leave her in the lurch, despite the fact that she may expect to be laid
-up or to have most particular and important visitors at the very period
-when the old maid departs and the new one comes in. Her nurse will
-extract her pound of flesh in the shape of holidays and outings, whether
-the baby is teething or not, or whether the children are all miserable
-with colds, or she herself long to lie down with a bad headache. The
-housemaid will go to her ‘church or chapel,’ to her promenade with her
-ever-changing young man, whether she has unexpected guests or not; and
-she will never know the extreme<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a>{198}</span> bliss and comfort of possessing friends
-in the kitchen, who give up their own holidays because they are sure
-their mistress is not fit to be left, who regard the children as if they
-were as much theirs as they are the mistress’s, and who finally think of
-her and hers, and her comfort, as she does herself. No mere hired help
-will do all this. You must have maidens whom you have carefully trained;
-you must take trouble&mdash;aye, and never-ending trouble&mdash;about them, unless
-you wish to join the ranks of those who are always abusing their maids
-and yet would not lift their fingers to assist themselves. And then,
-again, you must undoubtedly train yourself at the same time not to
-expect perfection.</p>
-
-<p>Think of our own girls. Are they always to be trusted at tennis and at
-balls to maintain that serene and demure deportment which of course we
-always did, and which we naturally expect from our daughters, especially
-where young men are concerned?</p>
-
-<p>Do they never flirt? Are they never found missing at critical moments,
-for example, when the carriage is at the door, and Paterfamilias is
-divided between anxiety for his horses and wrath at being kept waiting?
-Do foolish little notes never pass? Are flowers never given to the most
-detrimental youths of one’s acquaintance? And finally, do our own
-daughters always keep men at arm’s length? Are they always truthful,
-always obliging, always careful about their own rooms and the things
-which are committed to their charge?</p>
-
-<p>I leave each mother to answer for her own daughters. I should not like
-to answer for all the girls I know, and I seem to remember episodes in
-my own past (was it mine, or did it belong to some one I once knew very
-well indeed, I wonder?) which I should rather not confide to my
-daughter, and indeed which I should not care to hold up to her as an
-example of what all girls should do, and which often make me very kind
-to the maids when I meet them promenading with the youth who calls for
-orders or the man whom I scarcely recognise out of his livery; and it is
-far better to know such things will happen, and to keep a kindly eye
-over these affairs, than to scold vigorously and declare that whatever
-happens no followers of any sort or kind shall enter your chaste abode.
-Neither should they until the engagement is a <i>bonâ-fide</i> one, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a>{199}</span> one
-that you know is allowed and smiled upon by the girl’s parents. This you
-should ascertain for yourself&mdash;another reason for taking your maids
-young and from a family of whose antecedents you know something from
-your own observation. And I never think much harm can happen from these
-promenades if great stress is laid upon the fact that all must be at
-home after dark, and that in winter no one must stay out after 8.30.
-Then the house door should be locked and the key brought upstairs,
-either in town or country; there is always the front door to come to,
-and there is no reason why everyone should not come to that.</p>
-
-<p>I am no advocate either of very hard and fast rules, and I maintain that
-it is very difficult to make, and still more difficult to keep, set
-regulations which circumstances may alter at any given moment. The only
-thing that must be insisted on is punctuality; without punctuality no
-household can go on, no establishment can be in the very least degree
-managed or carried on. The servants become slovenly; and it is
-impossible to get through the work, because no one knows when the meals
-are to be, or when the beds can be made. Therefore, the first rule, and
-indeed the only really important rule, is that which makes the meals
-regular, and the attendance thereat compulsory on all members of the
-family, children and temporary members, such as visitors, alike. After
-that, and when we have demonstrated how the work is to be done, we
-should stand aside and not interfere unless it is absolutely necessary;
-then a few quiet words are enough. Whatever you do, do not ‘nag;’ a
-servant that requires acrimonious scolding and continual ‘telling’ had
-better go, and another should be had at once.</p>
-
-<p>The best way to find a servant (if your ‘place’ has a good name) is to
-inquire among the tradesmen. If a good servant is leaving her place, she
-always tells the butcher and baker; she never goes to a registry office.
-If she is leaving to better herself, her mistress can soon find her a
-place among her own friends; there would be no need for her to go
-elsewhere, and I do not think a really first-rate maid ever goes
-anywhere except to her mistress or to the tradespeople, who are all
-delighted to help her to find what she wants. An advertisement in the
-‘Guardian’ or ‘Morning Post’ is another excellent means of obtaining a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a>{200}</span>
-recommended servant, and I hope some day to find that the clergyman’s
-wife in each country parish will turn herself into an amateur registry
-office for all the young girls under her husband’s charge. She should
-teach them in the kitchen and nursery and train them in nice ways, and
-be always possessed of some maiden she can send out into a better place.
-Of course the Girls’ Friendly Society does something of the kind, but
-the good that it does is largely discounted by the evil ways of many of
-the ‘associates,’ who cannot help interfering egregiously and stupidly,
-and so bringing what ought to be an absolutely perfect organisation into
-contempt.</p>
-
-<p>In London there is only one way of finding good servants, and that is by
-advertising in either of the papers I have suggested, saying ‘Apply by
-letter only,’ or else the advertiser will be inundated with a class of
-persons who apply on the chance of picking up something in the hall, or
-of getting their ‘expenses’ paid. No unknown person should ever be left
-alone for a moment in the hall, and on no consideration should anyone
-pay the ‘expenses,’ which often exist in the imagination only, and would
-be amply recouped were twopence handed over to the applicant to cover
-her omnibus fare; that even should be given with caution, for, absurd as
-it may sound, there are people who exist on applying for situations,
-which they accept and give excellent references to empty houses, and
-promise to come in at once, to commence the duties required immediately.
-The mistress, overjoyed at the idea of securing such a treasure, gladly
-pays the fare to some country station, to be refunded, of course, out of
-the first quarter’s salary, and goes off for the treasure’s character,
-when she promptly discovers she has been done, and that if such a house
-does exist at all it is either closed entirely or lived in by someone
-who has never heard of the treasure, who naturally is also not to be
-found at the home address, that was given so glibly and written down so
-very carefully.</p>
-
-<p>A written character should also never be taken. The most exquisite
-handwriting, the best of all note-paper, duly embellished with a crest,
-address, and monogram complete, are no safeguard, for servants have been
-known to steal note-paper, and in these days of universal education a
-good hand is not to be trusted in the least. Even if the family<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a>{201}</span> with
-whom the servant lived has gone abroad&mdash;and this is the favourite reason
-always given when a written character is produced&mdash;there must be some
-relation or friend of the last employer still left in England who would
-not object to speak for a maid, who if worth anything at all must be
-known to someone outside the mere inner circle of the house itself; and
-this should be insisted on, especially in London, where an unknown
-servant is often the friend of the gentle burglar, and can do an immense
-amount of mischief. Indeed, when I thoroughly sift the numerous
-complaints which reach me about servants, I invariably find them caused
-by the fact that the maid has either been procured by a registry office
-or taken with only a written character in the most careless way, and
-with not half the precautions we should take before we engaged ourselves
-to call on a new comer to our especial district. We demand very strict
-credentials from anyone we admit to our house as a mere acquaintance; we
-let anyone into the house to live as a servant who can produce any scrap
-of writing, or procure any registry-office keeper to speak for her
-capabilities and character.</p>
-
-<p>I am not speaking without due thought on the matter. Of course there are
-absolutely trustworthy registry offices, and some written characters may
-be genuine; but as a rule neither is to be trusted, and it is far better
-to do one’s household work oneself than to engage someone of whom we
-know no more than can be told us by an individual eager for the hiring
-fee, or from a bit of paper probably written on by the applicant
-herself.</p>
-
-<p>I actually know a case where the mistress had to go into the
-neighbouring town to search for a cook who had been missing for
-twenty-four hours, and who found her locked up in the police court for
-drunkenness and riotous behaviour, and who discharging her on the spot
-was surprised to find the woman a few weeks after in a friend’s house.
-The registry-office people had answered for her character; although the
-first mistress had taken the trouble to place the report of the case in
-the local papers in the registrar’s hands, and the cook was in
-possession, needless to remark that she broke out again and is no doubt
-carrying on her practices in another confiding mistress’s house at this
-very moment.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a>{202}</span></p>
-
-<p>A written character introduced a butler into a friend’s house, which he
-promptly burned to the ground in a fit of blind drunkenness, while
-another servant in another house was found in the act of carefully
-concealing a burglarious parent in a convenient cupboard; and indeed I
-do not think I am exaggerating when I say that every case of ‘bad
-servant’ that is brought under my notice originates in either of these
-two particulars, and that if due care, aye, and even what may appear as
-<i>undue</i> care, is taken about the manner in which a servant is engaged we
-shall soon hear far fewer complaints than we do at present; while by
-raising the tone of our maids and ensuring that only really
-good-charactered servants will be employed, we shall get a better class
-of girl to take to service, and we shall thin the ranks of unemployed
-dressmakers, telegraph clerks, and shop-girls, and shall bring them back
-to the sheltered, safe, untempted lives that are the portions of all
-those who are in good places, under the care of conscientious and
-thoughtful mistresses.</p>
-
-<p>I think many writers&mdash;Mr. Besant, for example&mdash;have done great harm by
-the manner in which domestic service has been run down; and when I am
-called on to pity and weep over the case of the ‘sweated’ sempstress,
-the underpaid, unsettled governess, the miserable shop-girl, who cannot
-sit down and to whom all sorts of unpleasant internal miseries happen
-because of her hard work, I absolutely refuse to do so. There are plenty
-of good sheltered homes waiting for these girls, either here or in
-Australia, where they can be fed and well looked after, where they have
-every comfort, and where they are as absolutely safe as if they were in
-a palace, indeed, much safer, as maids in palaces are left much to their
-own devices and can get into as much mischief as they please, and there
-is therefore no reason for their unhappiness save and except the absurd
-one of wishing to be their own mistresses.</p>
-
-<p>‘Freedom! I want my freedom. I would rather starve than be obliged to
-brush my hair neatly, to give up my drowned ostrich feather, my screams
-of unbridled laughter in the streets, the delicious joy of trailing up
-and down a gas-lighted road, and, in fact, of being my own mistress.’
-That is the argument put into the mouth of the factory girl, only, of
-course, in not quite such plain language, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a>{203}</span> much applauded. Now, if
-so, don’t ask me to weep over the girl who talks like this, because I
-shall not do it. Freedom is about the worst thing in the world for a
-young girl. She requires a guiding hand, as, indeed, in my opinion, all
-women require one, all through their lives; and, after all, who is freer
-and less trammelled than a good servant in a good place? She has no
-anxieties, no troubles. Whatever happens, her wages are paid to the day,
-and her food is unfailing. Indeed, when troubles are disporting
-themselves in the drawing-room the maids seem to think ‘more food and
-oftener’ an excellent panacea. And she can have her holidays and her
-walks too whenever they can be managed; while for the large class of
-girl who becomes, or rather wants to become, a nursery governess, are
-there not endless other situations crying out for them, where as upper
-nurses, ladies’ maids, or good cooks they could be sure of occupation
-and of ending their days in comfort, having been able to save, which
-they could never have done on the 15<i>l.</i> a year of the ordinary nursery
-governess, who does all the mending and bathing, and, indeed, in some
-cases, much more of it than falls to the share of an upper nurse, who
-yet ranks below the governess, because she is a servant.</p>
-
-<p>Now, I think that, if the young people who marry on about 300<i>l.</i> a
-year, and can only afford one maid, would try this plan of engaging some
-girl who cannot get a situation as nursery governess, and work together
-with her, they would be far more comfortable than they otherwise would
-be. All their things are new and pretty, the bedroom nice, the kitchen
-fresh and comfortable. A young bride on a small income must help with
-the cooking and bed-making. Surely this would be much more pleasantly
-carried out if the maid were in some measure a friend. I can assure you
-that old-fashioned servants I know have far better claims to be
-considered of a good family than dozens of girls who pitchfork
-themselves into the governess ranks, and consider themselves members of
-the aristocracy from that date.</p>
-
-<p>To sum up, then, our case: if we require a comfortable house we must
-take our servants young and train them ourselves, or we must be very
-sure that the servant is what she claims to be, and that the character
-she is provided with is a good one; and, finally, we must endeavour to
-refill<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a>{204}</span> the ranks of upper and better-class servants from the
-overstocked ones of nursery governesses and unoccupied girls, whose
-parents have not provided for them, and who are unable to do a single
-thing by which they can in any measure help themselves.</p>
-
-<p>There are stupid, careless, and even unkind mistresses in the world, but
-as a rule servants are considered and very kindly dealt with, and there
-can be no reason why a girl should refuse a sheltered home and work that
-is not as hard as many other kinds of labour, and that should be amusing
-and pleasant, in a small household, or even in a large one, where the
-housekeeper is a lady and the upper servants are distinct and separate;
-a nurse of course having her own rooms and being waited on far more than
-is the governess, who after all in the eyes of the domestics is neither
-one thing nor another, and has often enough to go without or see after
-her own comforts.</p>
-
-<p>But until that halcyon day arrives we must, as I remarked just now, be
-very particular about the maid’s references, and we ought then, if
-possible, to make the acquaintance of her mother, and also, if we can
-manage it, of the clergyman who prepared her for confirmation. Of course
-this means trouble. Yes, it does, but not half as much trouble as is
-caused in the endless procession of new servants which passes through so
-many houses, leaving behind it traces of its progress in the shape of
-ruined brooms and brushes, burned-out saucepans, smashed crockery, and
-bladeless knives, all of which must be replaced as one goes out and
-another comes in, in a manner which almost ruins the unfortunate master
-and enrages the mistress proportionally.</p>
-
-<p>And now to turn to the question of how to make the kitchen a little
-pleasanter than it is at present, especially in those houses where there
-is no servants’ hall. The best of cooks only succeeds in making her room
-look spotlessly clean and absolutely uninteresting; there is nothing
-pretty about it, and there is, as a rule, nothing save the ordinary hard
-Windsor chair on which to sit. This is quite right and what it should
-be; but besides that there could be an easier chair for the tired
-servant, who presumably can get quite as fatigued as we can, and for
-whom we could provide a low-backed chair with cushions (easily taken out
-and washed) once we have come to the conclusion that she is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a>{205}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="ill_17" id="ill_17"></a></p>
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/ill_pg-205_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/ill_pg-205_sml.jpg" width="450" height="274" alt="Image unavailable: Fig. 17.&mdash;An Ideal Kitchen." /></a>
-<br />
-<span class="caption">Fig. 17.&mdash;An Ideal Kitchen.</span>
-</div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a>{206}</span></p>
-
-<p class="nind">likely to stay with us and that she is to be trusted not to make hay
-with it.</p>
-
-<p>Our artist has made a sketch of ‘an ideal kitchen’ from Mr. Faulkner
-Armitage’s designs, which I hope will some day be the kitchen of the
-future. Here the dresser and mantel-piece arrangement provide for all
-the necessary pots and pans, while the furniture is as simple as it is
-pretty, and in consequence has an artistic effect which is really
-charming.</p>
-
-<p>This furniture is stained malachite green or russet brown, whichever is
-preferred; with the green furniture, the tiled paper on the wall, which
-is much nicer to live with than mere colour-wash and is quite as clean,
-as it can be wiped over with a damp duster quite easily, should be red
-and white, and the paint a dark shade of red; with the brown, the paper
-should be blue and white, and the paint a good blue, and all along the
-wall on the floor should be a two-inch band of wood; this keeps the
-chairs away from the wall; but if the base of the wall becomes shabby a
-dado of oilcloth can always be added with a real dado rail; this keeps a
-wall tidy for years, and can always be washed, and finally painted over
-should the pattern crack or become in any measure worn and untidy. The
-ordinary boarded kitchen should be covered entirely with a good,
-well-seasoned linoleum, and a square of carpet lined with a thin
-American cloth should be given to the cook to place down on Sundays, or
-after the worst of the work is over; this gives a finished and furnished
-look to the room, and adds a great deal to the comfort of the maids. A
-stone floor should be painted with Hoskyn’s Ben Trovato red, and some
-rugs laid down at all times, as this is very bad to stand upon. I had
-linoleum laid all over the only stone floor I ever possessed, and that
-answered excellently; it was put down so that it adhered to the stone in
-some manner, and lasted a very great many years in excellent condition;
-but should anyone object to this I can also recommend a square of
-Treloar’s cocoa-nut matting, bound all round with a wide binding; but
-this should be rolled back for cooking, as grease adheres to it
-dreadfully and soon makes it shabby.</p>
-
-<p>The kitchen windows are always rather a trouble to arrange, as generally
-they are basement windows, and muslin so soon gets out of order with the
-steam and general<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a>{207}</span> mess; but if the cook takes pride in her windows and
-likes to wash her curtains herself there is no reason why she should not
-have the same kind of white curtains that there are in the bedrooms; but
-let all come from the top of the window, half-blinds being dreadful, and
-looking worse, in my opinion, than no blinds at all. In windows on a
-level with the garden or street one must have obscured glass, either
-cathedral or ribbed glass. This, of course, is rather hard on the maids,
-who are not thus able to look out, but it cannot be helped: it is
-impossible for the kitchen to be so much in evidence as it otherwise
-would be, and no muslin is as effective a screen as the obscured glass
-is.</p>
-
-<p>There should always be inside bars and shutters to any basement or
-ground-floor windows, and nothing should be kept downstairs which can
-possibly or in any way tempt the prowling burglar. All silver should be
-taken upstairs to the master’s room, and there should be a small dog
-loose downstairs; a dog frightens a thief dreadfully, as he is quite as
-much afraid of his bark as ever he is of his bite.</p>
-
-<p>The basement in a London house is often a dreadful possession, as there
-are so many places where a thief could conceal himself in the daytime.
-No doors, then, should ever be left unbolted; and the master should,
-furthermore, make a practice of going round the very last thing at night
-to see that all is safe, or else there can be no security at all.
-Sometimes the servants may descend again and hold unholy revels;
-sometimes an open or unguarded door leaves access to the place; and an
-unexpected visit from a tramp may alarm us as much as would a
-professional visit from a burglar. We cannot impress this on our
-servants too often, and we impress it on them a thousand times more
-forcibly than we otherwise should when they see our nightly patrol, and
-know we have supplemented their bolts with a visit of inspection. Then
-the door at the top of the stairs should be bolted, barred, and locked,
-and the key removed. This should be given into the care of the butler if
-there be one, or into the safe keeping of the cook; and we may retire to
-rest feeling safe that even if the tramp comes, or the thief is in
-hiding below, he will remain in the lower regions, and can do nothing
-worse than have a feast in the larder or break a few panes of glass in
-his efforts to escape.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a>{208}</span></p>
-
-<p>It will seem to my readers that one has to take endless trouble, to see
-perpetually about endless trifles, as long as we are householders, and
-have the management of a family on our hands. Yet once started on good
-lines, and matters are not so difficult as they appear; still, of
-course, no life of great responsibility&mdash;indeed, no life at all&mdash;can
-ever be entirely happy and entirely easy. Those who have least to do
-become bored and tired by mere inactivity; those who have most, wearing
-out instead of rusting out.</p>
-
-<p>All comes to an end some day; there is no doubt about that. Strive as we
-may, death waits for us all, and our carefully trained household falls
-apart and drifts away; our furniture wears out, our carefully amassed
-hoards are turned over and parted among our successors; some one else
-takes our house, and obliterates with his personality the last traces of
-ours; and if we have refused to do our work, or let things slide, we
-shall speedily be forgotten; but if we have honestly done our work, what
-of it? Our maids carry on our good lessons elsewhere; our hoards make
-someone else happy, and the example we have set bears fruit a
-hundredfold, and someone is always happier, some household better for
-the work we have done. No matter, then, if we have fallen out of the
-ranks, tired out; we have done our work, and so can retire gracefully,
-being quite sure that none of our trouble is wasted, and that not one of
-us has toiled in vain.</p>
-
-<p>And I maintain that we cannot ever take too much trouble about our
-homes, that we cannot have them too pretty or too well managed, and
-that, moreover, once they are started, they are easy to keep going,
-always supposing that we have regular ways and rules, that we do not
-muddle, and that we pass over nothing that requires attention, let it be
-a braid off a chair, or the misdemeanour or disobedience of a servant or
-child; the one should be mended, the other spoken to at once, then
-things will go on like clockwork, and we shall be fairly astonished to
-find how well things progress and how admirably they manage themselves.</p>
-
-<p>Start well, start carefully, and then all one has to do is to steer
-straight; after all, steering is not very hard work, and that is all one
-has to do once the ship is fairly loaded and under way.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a>{209}</span></p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XI" id="CHAPTER_XI"></a>CHAPTER XI.<br /><br />
-<small>THE SICK ROOM.</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">In</span> all large houses there ought undoubtedly to be some provision for
-infectious illness. Of course I know that there are excellent fever
-hospitals, where one can be despatched at almost a moment’s notice,
-where an ambulance will deposit you, and where the best nursing and
-doctoring can be had at a most moderate outlay; and I, for one, highly
-applaud those courageous souls who telegraph for the proper conveyance,
-and depart, cutting themselves off from their homes, and at the same
-time from any chance of handing on their complaints elsewhere, with one
-fell swoop. But, much as I admire and applaud, nothing would, I fear,
-induce me to follow their laudable example. To know how to be ill is a
-fine art, and this accomplishment is quite thrown away on those who
-regard one merely as a ‘case,’ and talk about one as if one were a mere
-chattel left with them to repair, and return with the utmost speed.
-Moreover, I maintain always that one’s bodily health depends immensely
-on one’s surroundings, and that it would take double the time to get
-better in a hospital than one would in one’s own home, where one could
-see one’s friends out of the window and catch even a far-off whisper of
-what was happening, and see even from the greatest distance some of
-one’s old, accustomed sights. In an ordinary house, as at present
-arranged, it would be absolutely impossible to have even the smallest
-amount of infectious disease without running the greatest risk of
-handing it on to all the rest of the family; but there could be in most
-houses such arrangements made, were the builder a man of sense, that we
-could have a hospital room, a room sufficiently isolated to ensure
-immunity from infection, and yet near enough to do away with the
-hopeless feeling which seizes the ordinary mortal the moment he hears he
-has ‘something catching,’ and which enables him to understand what were
-the feelings of the lepers of old, who had to flee from the sight of
-their fellow-creatures, calling out aloud as they ran, ‘Unclean!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a>{210}</span>
-unclean!’ Of course we ought not to feel angry with those who refuse to
-come near us; indeed, had I my way no one should ever enter a house
-where there was small-pox, scarlatina, or diphtheria; but we do resent
-it somehow, despite our own common sense and the knowledge that we
-should forbid the call our friends are so anxious not to make if they
-attempted to come near us; and there is no more miserable feeling than
-that which seizes us when we are told that we have a complaint in our
-midst which may prevent us from being on the same footing as the rest of
-mankind for several weary weeks, or may be months. But, before going
-into the matter of what we should do when infection is in our house, let
-me for a moment speak about the room we should all of us possess ready
-for an emergency and into which we could retire were we ill at all, not
-only ‘infectious’ but ill in such a way that we may require careful
-nursing, many fires, and absolute quiet and rest.</p>
-
-<p>We should select a room at the top of the house unless we are building
-our house; in that case we should have a couple of rooms added on at one
-end, with a bathroom, lavatory, and tiny kitchen range in a third room.
-This should make a sort of annexe to the house; it should be reached
-from outside, and a passage, closed at one end with a plate-glass door,
-should communicate with the rest of the house. I once knew such an
-arrangement as this, and have always hankered after it, more especially
-as it allowed one member of a family of eight children to have scarlet
-fever at home without in the least endangering the lives of any others
-of the family, while the mother could see the child daily through the
-plate-glass door, although she could not nurse her herself. She ran
-absolutely no risk; the plate-glass door was as safe as the solid wall,
-and over it always hung a sheet steeped in carbolic acid. The child was
-nursed among familiar surroundings; the doctor could visit it without
-passing through the house; all the food could be placed so that the
-nurse received it without the smallest risk, and, in fact, the
-arrangement was so absolutely perfect that I cannot understand why
-possessors of large houses and good means do not always keep some rooms
-of the kind ready. No family can go through life without illness; it is
-much easier to bear when all is prepared for it, and there is no<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a>{211}</span>
-dreadful domestic upset to add to our natural anxiety and trouble when
-illness comes upon us all.</p>
-
-<p>Now, given such houses as these, or even the single room quite at the
-top of the house, which would be next best (and although these have
-their disadvantages, they are generally quieter than any other), I
-should proceed to decorate them prettily. I should paint the walls
-first, and then I should paper them with the very cheapest blue paper I
-could find. I think Maple’s 4½<i>d.</i> blue and white paper would be best,
-and I should have ivory paint, the 4½<i>d.</i> a piece white and yellow
-ceiling paper, and curtains of 1<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i> a yard serge in art blue
-double. There is nothing here which cannot be replaced at a very small
-cost; yet everything would look pretty and bright and fresh; and I
-should have the floor parqueterie or else covered with matting and rugs.
-The rugs could be removed in a moment if anything infectious were the
-matter, while the matting could be disinfected or destroyed; but this
-should remain. It smells fresh, it never accumulates the dust, and
-always looks nice, in my opinion. In illness looks are everything, and
-it is absolutely necessary for things to be neat and pretty; else the
-patient will be worried to death without really understanding why he is
-being worried.</p>
-
-<p>The bed should be a good wide one&mdash;a double one. This gives room for the
-patient to move about in. It should have a wire mattress and a good hair
-mattress at the top, four pillows, and a bolster, and it should have an
-ample supply of venerable blankets for under use. Those for over use
-should depend on what is the matter. New blankets and an eider-down are
-lighter and warmer than anything, and if these are required they must be
-had, even if afterwards they have to be destroyed. There should be no
-washing or dressing apparatus visible (these can be kept in the
-lavatory), but there should be two or three of the stained wooden chairs
-sold by Pither, 38 Mortimer Street, W., which are comfortable enough for
-the doctor and an occasional visitor or for the nurse on duty (too much
-comfort often induces sleep), and which can be wiped over daily. There
-should also be a wide, deep wicker armchair, nicely cushioned, and there
-should be a long chair for the invalid, where he or she could rest while
-the bed is made or remain<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a>{212}</span> when convalescence has begun, and the bed may
-be left for some hours at least. The long deck chairs are not suitable
-for this purpose, as, being made of wicker, they creak in the most awful
-manner, and are not comfortable in the least; but there are some long
-narrow beds used as camp beds, which can be put up at any angle, and
-have an iron frame filled in with sacking, on which a cushion is placed.
-This makes the most comfortable lounge of which I know, and should be in
-every sick room or room set apart for the purpose of nursing. They can
-be bought at almost any ironmonger’s, or at any place which caters for
-Volunteers or those who do any luxurious camping out. There should be
-pictures on the walls, and a bookcase, and above all there should be a
-screen of some kind or other. The pictures should be of the cheapest;
-some of those lately issued by the ‘Illustrated News’ people, which
-resemble old Bartolozzi prints, would do admirably, as the frames could
-be disinfected, the glass washed, and the pictures themselves destroyed.
-The bookcase could be varnished or re-Aspinalled, and the books burned.
-Books are fearful methods of conveying infection, and carelessness about
-this cannot be too harshly condemned. It is far better to destroy
-everything, no matter how precious it may be, than run the very smallest
-risk of passing on even what may be considered a mild complaint, for
-that which is mild in one patient often causes death or great suffering
-in another whose constitution is unfitted to cope with that special
-disease.</p>
-
-<p>Once the room is ready and looking pretty, the next care must be to see
-that it is kept properly aired and that nothing gets out of order, and
-that all the things for use are in their places; then we need not think
-any more about the room, which should be under the charge of the
-head-nurse of the establishment; but, especially where there are
-children, it is absolutely necessary that we should be prepared for
-emergencies, and know exactly what to do should there be any necessity
-for prompt action. There are a series of rules printed by the National
-Health Society, which should be hung up in every nursery, and there
-should be, moreover, a box containing simple remedies for sprains
-(arnica), cuts (calendula), and burns (oiled silk, oil, and cotton
-wool), and the nurse should keep the key. But, whatever happens, her
-remedies can only be temporary ones; all her instructions<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a>{213}</span> should end
-like those to the ambulance experts, ‘Send for the doctor.’</p>
-
-<p>Now, although I am certainly no advocate for constantly sending for the
-doctor, and though I maintain that for small children a good nurse is
-worth all the doctors under the sun, I do maintain that immense comfort
-and safety are procured by an early visit from the doctor if we are
-fearful that anything is wrong above the common. But I maintain equally
-strongly that to be able to do this we must be very sure of our man; we
-must be able to trust him, and we must be quite certain that he is an
-honest man, who will not trespass on our credulity or fatten on our
-fears, and who will have the necessary courage to tell us straight out
-that we have nothing to fear and that we need not send for him again, or
-at least that he will not come again until we do send for him. Above
-all, let us, if possible, keep to the same doctor. Nothing is more
-stupid than to change him, unless we are absolutely obliged to do so,
-for he understands his patients’ constitutions if he has always had to
-see after them. A new man cannot possibly do so at first, and much more
-depends on a doctor understanding what he has to deal with, as far as
-heredity is concerned, than one quite comprehends. People would not be
-quite so ready to change their medical attendant as they very often seem
-to me to be if they thoroughly believed in this.</p>
-
-<p>And now comes the great subject of nursing. I was much amused the other
-day to see an indignant article from someone who abused the present
-generation of mothers because they did not nurse their children
-themselves in cases of infection, and because their first idea in an
-emergency was to send for a nurse. Now I maintain that that is the very
-wisest thing anyone can do. A mother, as a rule, is the worst person in
-the world to nurse her own child; her fearful anxiety makes her nervous
-and communicates itself to the patient, who ought never to know that
-anyone is the least anxious about him. Her face betrays her, and her
-shaking hands play her false, and on a thousand grounds it is far better
-to have a trained nurse than to trust to unskilled though loving
-nursing. A mother may never have had the smallest experience of nursing
-until she is called upon to exercise any little talent she may have for
-it on behalf of her nearest and dearest. She becomes frantically<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a>{214}</span>
-miserable at symptoms a nurse understands, and are often enough symptoms
-for good; she cannot raise a patient and give him food comfortably, as
-does a woman trained to the work, and she cannot be the ‘half-doctor’
-all nurses ought undoubtedly to be, and indeed are nowadays, unless she
-has had training; a course of training, by the way, which would be most
-distasteful to many and absolutely impossible to the few.</p>
-
-<p>A nurse is born, not made; of that I am absolutely convinced from my own
-experience. I do not think anything would make me personally fit to
-nurse anyone, much as I should like to do it. Were I called upon to turn
-nurse I could undoubtedly keep a room neat, smooth a pillow, and fold a
-sheet over properly; but I stand by in amaze and watch a friend of mine
-who has never been trained, but is a born nurse, who knows exactly how
-to lift her patient, when and how to give beef-tea and medicine, and who
-does easily and without effort what I cannot do at all, try as hard as I
-may to follow her excellent example. She may be anxious, she never shows
-it in the least; she may be tired to death, she does not look it; her
-voice is always at the right pitch, and though she naturally is not
-merry when there is danger, she maintains an even cheerfulness which is
-delightful, and as restful to the patient as it is most undoubtedly
-restful and reassuring to the patient’s friends. Now, sentiment
-apart&mdash;and sentiment should never be considered in the very least degree
-where real work has to be done&mdash;surely my friend is better able to
-nurse, and a much safer nurse, than I should be; I, who have honestly
-and seriously tried to overcome my stupidity and dread of sick people,
-and who visited at a hospital regularly until I was utterly and
-completely routed by seeing a man in a fit, since when I have avoided
-hospitals and have quite come to the conclusion I should never be a
-nurse. Therefore, is it not wiser for people in real cases of dangerous
-illness to engage women who understand their work? I am convinced it is,
-and strongly recommend anyone who is advised by the doctor to send for a
-nurse to do so. He will always be able to tell them where to send; if
-not, they can find any amount of addresses in that most useful and
-excellent little book ‘Dickens’s Dictionary of London.’ But the doctor
-should find the nurse in infectious cases, for, as a rule, he knows<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a>{215}</span>
-someone with whom he has worked already, and of course these nurses have
-to be sent for in a hurry; one does not make preparations for and look
-out for fevers as one does when a small baby is expected; about that I
-have said all I have to say in my other book, and shall not therefore
-say anything here on that absorbing subject.</p>
-
-<p>Everybody should remember that illness, instead of deadening our
-faculties, undoubtedly and at once heightens every one we possess. We
-see more acutely most certainly; our smell and taste are exaggerated in
-the most painful degree, and little annoyances and inferior cooking,
-which we scarcely notice, or indeed notice not at all, when we are well,
-try us most dreadfully. If we are to eat at all, all must be absolutely
-clean and free from grease, and sent up spotlessly; there must not be a
-suspicion of carelessness, or inevitably we shall turn against the food
-and send it down untouched. Likewise, creaking shoes, rustling paper,
-banging doors, crooked pictures, dusty tables and chairs must not exist
-where there are invalids; and, above all, I am convinced that until a
-person is actually and positively dead no one should talk about them
-over their bodies, thinking they are insensible. I am certain that
-insensible people, so called, are often far more sensitive than either
-doctor or nurse will allow, and I know I myself have often heard things
-which were never meant for me to hear when people have thought me
-asleep, but when I have really simply been too tired to open my eyes;
-and I shall never forget the expression that flitted across the face of
-a dear old lady who was absolutely dying, who had not swallowed for two
-days, or spoken for a great many more, when her daughter and maid spoke
-of the mourning and funeral by her bedside heartlessly. She heard and
-understood, although she undoubtedly had no power of letting us know
-that she did so. And I, moreover, have been told by a cousin whose
-recovery from a frightful attack of blood-poisoning was miraculous, and
-who most certainly was merely saved from death by her doctor’s
-unremitting care and the excellent nursing she received from him&mdash;he
-never left her once for over forty-eight hours&mdash;that she knew absolutely
-everything that went on, that she heard every single word and whisper,
-and that she most certainly would never say a word in the presence of
-any ‘insensible’ person that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a>{216}</span> could pain or agitate him in the least,
-for when she appeared most insensible to on-lookers she was really far
-more sensitive than she had ever been in all her life: her hearing was
-absolutely acute, and every sense seemed on end, a feeling I can
-corroborate from my own experience, though I have had no really very
-serious illness, but have been ill enough to comprehend this
-supersensitiveness and to understand how absolutely quiet and restful
-should be the conditions of any invalid. It sounds absurd to say that
-noise can kill anyone, but noise can; a sudden shock can undoubtedly
-snap the thread of life, while noise constantly wearing on the brain can
-do endless harm, especially to those who are predisposed to notice and
-resent continually unpleasant sounds. And now I want to give a hint to
-many among us who are abjectly miserable because they fancy they have
-some incurable complaint, and yet have not the sense or courage to
-really go to a good doctor and learn what is the matter, or indeed
-whether there is anything the matter at all. The tiny lump which appears
-on the neck may be nothing but a little swelling of a gland, or it may
-be cancer; the dreadful pain that seizes the chest may be heart or it
-may be indigestion; anyhow, whatever it is, it is far better to know
-what is the matter than to wear oneself to death in wondering if we have
-or have not a fatal disease.</p>
-
-<p>If we have not, well and good; if we have, what, after all, does it
-matter? We have all fatal diseases, if it comes to that, and we are all
-absolutely sure, unpleasant as is the fact, that we must die, and it is
-something to know a little about the means and time by which we shall
-have to shuffle off this mortal coil; and, moreover, we can undoubtedly
-save ourselves endless trouble, and stave off the last day of our lives,
-if we learn early in the day what we have to avoid, and how best we can
-manage our lives, many having lost them entirely because they literally
-had not the courage to go to the doctor, or went to him so late that he
-had sorrowfully to confess he could do nothing, albeit he could have
-done much had the patient come to him when she or he first began to
-suspect there was anything amiss. I could, I am sorry to say, quote
-examples from my own dear and intimate friends of the evil done by this
-cowardly dislike to face the worst, and I therefore feel very strongly<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a>{217}</span>
-on the subject, and implore any of my readers who may suspect a lurking
-disease to face it. It may be nothing but fancy; even so, the fancy
-should be exorcised. It may be fatal; then the doctor will lay down
-rules at once for guidance, and even if death is imminent it is just as
-well to know this. There are things to do quietly, and one’s house to
-set in order, albeit there is no need to make the lives of all one’s
-relations burdens to them; neither need we make ourselves miserable
-beforehand by everlasting contemplation of the inevitable parting. Be
-quite sure, whether it comes at 100, at 20, at 40, we none of us realise
-or relish the idea, but when a thing must be it is best to accept it
-gracefully; people will remember us much more kindly if we go
-cheerfully, and do not make them all wretched by kicking against the
-pricks.</p>
-
-<p>And, above all, remember if you have a disease to keep the fact to
-yourself and to your doctor; no one else wants to hear about it, and it
-is interesting to no one else. If you become an invalid you can be both
-cheerful and useful, although I know how hateful&mdash;how truly hateful&mdash;it
-is to put up the once active feet, and cross the once busy hands, and
-simply listen to what we once used to do. I know too that a good
-listener is highly appreciated, and that many a happy home finds the
-heart of the house round the invalid sofa, where can always be found
-someone who is always at home, always disengaged, always willing to help
-and anxious to hear, and who has a most profound interest in all that is
-going on, despite the fact that she is out of the action, and can only
-take a passive part in the life that seemed once as if it could never go
-on without her.</p>
-
-<p>Moreover, an invalid should never become absorbed in herself, in her
-treatment, her medicine, and the progress of her malady; having found
-her doctor to be trustworthy, she should do as he tells her, and after
-his visit she should utterly decline to speak of herself; she should
-read, if possible work (how I do wish I could sew, or knit, or do
-anything on earth save read and write!), and, above all she should be
-absolutely nice and particular about her clothes, which should never
-degenerate (unless it is absolutely necessary) into the dressing-gown
-stage. Loose garments are untidy, and anything untidy or
-‘dressing-gowny’<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a>{218}</span> assists the invalid idea, which should be kept in the
-background as much as possible.</p>
-
-<p>Then there is another thing I should like to mention, and that is that
-invalids should always have their affairs settled, and their wishes as
-regards the future of their children or their property entirely and
-properly understood&mdash;that is to say, understood and settled as far as
-anything can be settled that is so unknown as the future&mdash;and while a
-man is an absolute criminal who neglects to make his will, a woman is
-equally foolish who, having strong feelings on subjects which will
-concern her children, or may be the place of her burial, does not write
-such a letter on the subject to her husband, to be opened after her
-death, as shall lay all her wishes before him, but only as wishes: the
-dead hand should never fetter anyone; at best it should only indicate
-the course which the owner would have followed.</p>
-
-<p>In but one case should a man or a woman who has property put an emphatic
-embargo on the future proceedings of the husband or wife, and then only
-if there are children, and that is in the case of the husband or wife
-remarrying. Under these circumstances the property should go absolutely
-into the hands of trustees, to be administered entirely for the use of
-the children, who are often enough defrauded of their father’s or
-mother’s money, which goes to keep some lazy man or extravagant woman
-who in their time may produce children to share that which was only
-meant for the owner’s own offspring.</p>
-
-<p>This rule should never be departed from under any circumstances: it
-should be absolutely out of anyone’s power to defraud children of what
-was intended for them alone by the one parent who had money. This does
-not prevent a man or a woman marrying again; they had the same chances,
-if they wanted them, as they had before; but it does prevent the
-children being robbed, as I have known them robbed, in more than one
-case, by their silly mothers, who, yearning for the love and protection
-they have lost, cast themselves into the arms of number two, doubly
-flattered at being wooed when their first bloom has vanished, and find
-themselves saddled with men who neglect the business they were supposed
-to keep together, or squander the money saved so hardly and set aside so
-carefully for those<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a>{219}</span> who cannot help themselves or stay the marriage
-that will inevitably spoil their home life if it do not wreck their
-futures.</p>
-
-<p>Let the wife have all control until she marries again; then someone else
-should step in, as undoubtedly if a woman does not care to remember her
-husband she will not care to assure herself and protect his children
-from an extravagant, improvident man; and of course a man should be
-treated in the same way; all control as long as he remembers his wife,
-none when he ceases to do so and would maintain a successor out of the
-money she meant for her children’s welfare.</p>
-
-<p>Now all this can be managed, and, indeed, should be managed, on the
-wife’s part by a letter written to her husband, and on a man’s by a calm
-conversation with his wife, who of course will vow that nothing on this
-earth would induce her to marry again; but, unfortunately for her
-argument, example can be brought against her of people who have said
-just the same, who have wept in the marketplace and wrung their hands in
-high places, ‘so to speak,’ and yet have married generally ‘for the sake
-of the dear children’ before they had worn out their mourning, and
-therefore her protestations can be gently set on one side with the quiet
-statement that in that case the money will be in her own power. This can
-show no lack of confidence in the wife; it simply shows a lack of
-confidence in any possible future husband, and a consummate knowledge of
-human nature, which forgets disagreeables speedily, alas! and accepts
-hurriedly any chance that may present itself of obliterating a mournful
-memory and changing one’s trappings of woe for newer and far more
-beaming garments.</p>
-
-<p>I never could understand the sensitiveness that prevents some wives and
-husbands from ever speaking of the future that must come when they will
-be separated. There need be no continual discussion of the mournful
-subject, but it should be discussed thoroughly when the will is made; it
-need never be spoken of again until circumstances arise that may cause
-some alterations to be made, or codicils added; anything that may be too
-painful to discuss can be written in the final letter of farewell. Then,
-if one has no accumulations of other folks’ letters, if one’s drawers
-are tidy, one’s bills paid, and one’s conscience clear, there will<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a>{220}</span> be
-nothing to make anyone extra-miserable after we have departed; we shall
-have done our work, left everything in order, and shall leave nothing
-but a pleasant memory behind us.</p>
-
-<p>Death as a rule is either made unduly awful, or is a time of the most
-extravagant expenditure. The immense quantities of florists’ wreaths
-sent nowadays have brought into disrepute one of the most charming ideas
-possible, and the money once devoted to black plumes and undertaker’s
-millinery of all kinds, to extravagant mourning and absurd woe, is now
-squandered equally extravagantly and absurdly on wreaths, which cost
-from 15<i>s.</i> to 30<i>s.</i> each, and which are simply thrown into the earth
-to perish there untimely. Not for one moment would I deprecate the use
-of flowers entirely, but let them be arranged by people who loved me,
-and really bound them together because they knew I loved them. I would
-rather spend money, or have money spent, on some useful memorial than on
-a perishable wreath; and were I to die to-morrow I should say, Give me
-as simple, as cheap a funeral as you can, and give the money to my pet
-charity. It could be done in my name, and would be a practical
-remembrance of me, and a far more useful one than hundreds of wreaths.
-Why, I once saw a funeral in mid-winter where there were over 300
-wreaths. This would have almost built a ward in the Hospital for Sick
-Children; it would certainly have helped the good Sisters at Kilburn,
-and have done great good to the children there, who had always been
-loved by her whose funeral it was. And in the same way would I deprecate
-a ‘handsome’ coffin and elaborate headstone; neither can do any good to
-the dead, and the memory of those we have loved can be perpetuated a
-thousand times longer should we content ourselves with the simplest oak
-coffin we can get and the plain cross, which will last as long as anyone
-could wish it to, while the money saved can be given elsewhere. Everyone
-has some pet scheme that could be benefited by his or her death; no one
-but the undertaker and florist is benefited now.</p>
-
-<p>Another reason why we should not encourage the sending of an immense
-quantity of flowers from our friends is, that there is something almost
-ghastly about the false air of festivity given by the constant receipt
-and opening of the parcels and boxes in which they are sent; in the
-list<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221"></a>{221}</span> of names which, must be written out, in order that all who sent
-may be thanked or their names mentioned in the local paper; and in the
-smothered remarks of the servants and children as they look at the
-beauties, and compare the present one with the last one laid on the
-coffin in the room which is so familiar and yet has become so fearfully
-and wonderfully strange.</p>
-
-<p>But if flowers need not be sent (and I wish I could think all would send
-the money instead to some special fund), letters should always be
-written. They may not be read at first&mdash;nay may never be really read at
-all&mdash;but the name of the writer will always be remembered warmly, and as
-that of one who knew that sympathy is the most precious gift we can any
-of us receive when we are in the depths, and that dark curtain descends
-which seems as if it would lie for ever between us and the outside
-world. Ah me! no matter who has died, it will rise again, and life will
-flow on just the same as if we had never lost those who were so near and
-so dear to us.</p>
-
-<p>Undoubtedly, too, though we should none of us ever call at the house to
-inquire after a scarlet fever, small-pox, or diphtheria case, we should
-let our friends know through the post that we are thinking of them. If
-their child is ill we can make up tiny parcels to send. A few flowers; a
-paper doll; a few old books, which can be burned as soon as read;
-‘scraps’ to paste into books; odds and ends which cost nothing and can
-be destroyed without a pang, often making a small child’s day of tedious
-weariness and slow convalescence, an entirely different thing to what it
-might have otherwise been; and the idea of what to-morrow’s post may
-bring has, to my knowledge, more than once soothed a tired little girl
-to rest; for she would go to sleep easier when she remembered that the
-sooner the night was over the sooner the familiar ring would be heard,
-and the lovely parcel would arrive, which might contain nothing more
-costly than glass beads for stringing, or some roses and a cheap little
-vase to put them in, but which was a never-ending source of wonder and
-delight, until the child was well and able to take her place again among
-her brothers and sisters.</p>
-
-<p>In the sick room, which may be the death chamber, sympathy, always
-precious, becomes an absolute necessity, and a tedious day of pain is
-often borne more courageously<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a>{222}</span> than it otherwise would have been, and
-passes quicker than it otherwise might have done, if we know that people
-are thinking of us and wondering if there is anything they can do to
-lighten our time of trouble and to help us bear the inevitable misery of
-it all. A sick person, or an invalid, should never be forgotten. I
-verily believe half our dread of death comes from the fact that we know
-that soon we shall be as if we had never been, and that our place shall
-be taken by another and shall know us no more.</p>
-
-<p>When we are quite sure that there is an infectious disease in our house,
-we ought to be compelled by Act of Parliament to register the fact at
-some convenient place, where a list of houses similarly infected should
-undoubtedly be exposed in a prominent place. None should be exempt from
-this law, and the doctor should be the person responsible for the
-registration, a severe penalty, moreover, being inflicted in any case of
-wilful misrepresentation or of the withholding of proper information of
-the outbreak.</p>
-
-<p>That the penalty is necessary is proved by the fact that I once knew a
-country doctor speak of a bad attack of scarlet fever as a mild case of
-rose rash, because he was abjectly afraid of losing the patronage of the
-dame whose child it was, and who objected to the isolation which would
-have been her portion had the truth been known. Still the disease
-spread, owing to her selfishness and the doctor’s supineness, and the
-truth came out, but not before she had done endless mischief and caused
-the death of a child of one of her relations, who was sent into the
-house with his nurse to inquire after the ‘rose rash,’ and who would
-never have been allowed to pass even the same side of the street had his
-mother known the truth; and both the doctor and the patient’s mother
-were in consequence ostracised and isolated from their fellow-creatures
-far more completely and for a much longer period than they would have
-been had they boldly and at once told the truth.</p>
-
-<p>Nowadays, with the slight exception of the law that we must not wilfully
-expose anyone suffering from an infectious disease in a public
-conveyance, we may do pretty much as we like.<a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> We can send other
-members of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a>{223}</span> family to church or the theatre; we can send our washing
-to the public laundry, we may let our friends come and see us without
-mentioning what is the matter, and, in fact, there is no law except the
-moral law (which governs so few of us) to prevent us handing on the
-complaint to as many people as we can comfortably manage to infect. The
-registration would prevent this, as it would prevent us from stopping in
-a fever-bed or (as happened to me not a month ago) from sending a cat to
-be doctored in a house where there was a fatal case of scarlet fever;
-and how that cat didn’t bring it back to us is more than I can
-understand, but it did not. Albeit, any mother can understand what I
-felt until I knew all chance of infection was over from that source at
-all events.</p>
-
-<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> Since the above was written a law has been passed to make
-the notification of disease compulsory in London; so there is one step
-already made in advance.</p></div>
-
-<p>It is the selfishness of other people that spreads so much disease, and
-therefore the law should force people to be more considerate; then
-disease will be stamped out undoubtedly, and we can exist without the
-many qualms and dreads which harass us now, and certainly go far to make
-life anything but worth living.</p>
-
-<p>Now, I think if I had an infectious complaint in the house my first idea
-would be to keep people out of it. I should place a placard on the door,
-and then leave folks to do as they chose in the matter. I should keep
-the rest of the household to the grounds and garden, and I should&mdash;-
-much as I should hate it&mdash;stay as much at home as I possibly could. Of
-course the usual means of disinfection would be largely used; still no
-one should run the risk of giving the complaint to any other soul.</p>
-
-<p>The doctor would be the person to say what is infectious and what is
-not, but, despite the ‘Lancet,’ I am quite certain measles and mumps
-cannot be carried and cannot be given to another, unless by the person
-who actually has the complaint on him. About scarlet fever, small-pox,
-and diphtheria there can be no doubt, but typhoid cannot be carried from
-one to the other, although typhus most undoubtedly may be. But in any
-case the doctor is the person to apply to, and if we have his consent we
-can go about the world as usual; only we should always tell our friends
-what is the matter, and if they object to us we must not be offended
-with them. They are quite right to object, and we should not resent
-their care for their own. We<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224"></a>{224}</span> should not feel happy if we handed on the
-complaint, and what should we experience if it had a fatal termination?
-I, for one, cannot imagine.</p>
-
-<p>There is absolutely no place on earth which requires so much good
-breeding to inhabit or arrange for properly as does the sick room;
-therefore I trust I may be forgiven if I write rather fully on the
-matter, more especially as this book is coming now to an end, and I
-shall never write any more on the ever-fascinating subject of the home,
-and I want to say a word to the patient.</p>
-
-<p>Remember, however bad it is for you to be ill, it is fifty times worse
-for those who have to see you suffer, and that you must even at your
-worst think about that and remember other people. Do not make their
-anxiety greater by refusing food or medicine, or by disobeying your
-doctor or nurse; for the time give yourself entirely into their hands,
-and do not refuse or kick against their remedies, their rules and
-regulations. Be absolutely calm, absolutely quiet, and, above all, if
-you want to get well do not lose your hold on life if you can, and don’t
-fret or become terrified. Fear and fretting are a doctor’s worst
-foes&mdash;almost worse than disobedience. If you can recollect that whatever
-is is best, and that you will recover if it is better that you should,
-you will have a thousand chances that the irritable invalid can never
-have, and, at all events, if you do die you will die courageously and
-resignedly, and not screaming and kicking like a naughty child does
-whose nurse fetches it away to bed before it thinks it is ready to
-retire to rest. Its nurse knows best; and so does God, and if you are
-fetched ten chances to one your work is done, and you can retire from
-the scene gracefully even if you cannot feel you are quite glad to go.</p>
-
-<p>I am certain that the mind has a great deal to do with one’s body from a
-small experience of my own when once I was saved from being very ill by
-a mere exercise of will, rendered necessary by a sudden shock received
-when one of my children was only two days old. My dear old nurse was in
-my room at 12, and at 7 she was dead in the room next to mine, and I
-knew all about it. There were the two eldest children&mdash;who were five and
-three&mdash;running about calling for ‘Nan,’ from whom they had never been
-separated five minutes since the hour they were born. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a>{225}</span> had a new
-housemaid. I had seen in the looking-glass the monthly nurse drinking
-brandy out of the bottle, and told Nan of this, and I was absolutely
-alone as far as friends were concerned. Could any situation be worse?
-And yet before I slept I had arranged for the children to go to London,
-for the funeral to take place soon, and for the friends to be told. And
-then began the struggle. My doctor was confined to the house with
-bronchitis; circumstances made his partner impossible; the nearest
-medical man on whom one could depend was fourteen miles away, and I knew
-I must not be ill; and all that wretched night I kept saying this to
-myself, repeating who I was, where I was, and what had happened, until I
-felt I was master of the situation. Surely had I given in then I should
-have had a fever; as it was, I occasionally felt my head was loose and
-swimming round the room by itself, and it was only by repeating to
-myself that this was impossible that I kept off the delusion, and after
-a day or two I was nearly well, or at all events was not ill in the
-accepted sense of the word, though my dear old doctor nearly wept when I
-told him what I had endured, and never could understand to his dying day
-why I had not had a serious illness, which I undoubtedly must have had
-had I not staved it off in the manner I have just described. Therefore,
-I am convinced those patients have the best chance of recovering who are
-quiet, obedient, and who, furthermore, try their best to live, and
-believe that there is something worth living for.</p>
-
-<p>And now a few words on that saddest of all subjects, a death, and I must
-devote my last chapter to more cheerful subjects&mdash;namely, how best to
-get strong and well again once we have emerged from the sick room, and
-are pronounced fit and able to go for a change.</p>
-
-<p>When death has actually occurred I would strongly advocate that those
-who have loved and nursed the dead may prepare the body for the last
-resting-place. It can be gently washed and attired in the clean
-night-dress, and the hands can be crossed on the breast. Someone who can
-be trusted&mdash;not a mere hireling&mdash;should be present when the last
-measurements are taken; then the room should be at once turned into a
-mortuary chamber, the bed hung with white, candles lighted head and
-foot, which should not go out until the funeral day, and fresh<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a>{226}</span> flowers
-should be kept there; these should be changed every single day; and,
-furthermore, the windows should be left a little open, and on no account
-should the dead person be left unwatched for a moment until the coffin
-is screwed down; this should never be done until there is no doubt that
-death has ensued, and then the sooner the funeral is the better; though
-I trust some day cremation may be universal, then there can be no dread
-of the awful fate of one who is buried alive. That ought to be made
-impossible in all cases by the doctor performing some simple surgical
-operation&mdash;I think it is the dividing of some artery in the arm.</p>
-
-<p>If the dead person has been attached to any particular church in his or
-her life-time the coffin should be placed in that church the night
-before the funeral, so that the last night above ground the body may
-rest in that hallowed spot. Of course it should be watched there, and
-the candles and flowers should be arranged as in the mortuary chamber,
-and the first part of the service should be read there; not by a
-stranger, but by the family priest of whom I have spoken before; and
-then when the ceremony is over no one but the clergyman should return to
-the house with the mourners, who should separate and go to their own
-rooms. There should be no general family meal that day at least;
-certainly there should be no gathering even of relations and friends
-round the dinner-table. I have experienced more than one of these awful
-meals, and I can truthfully say that there is nothing more terrible on
-earth; people must talk, they cannot remain silent, they must eat and
-drink, and the <i>pseudo</i>-festivity and the endeavour to keep off and
-avoid <i>the</i> subject are so truly ghastly, that under no circumstances
-can I understand such a thing can be in any way necessary in the least.
-Surely as unnecessary is also the reading of the will. What concerns the
-public can be told the public, the lawyers should manage the rest. Under
-no circumstances should the display of evil passions and disappointments
-be allowed that almost inevitably follows this institution.</p>
-
-<p>Let the burial-day be a day of meditation and quiet. In the evening the
-bereaved family can gather alone and talk over what has to be done. Then
-the next day let all the clothes be sent to the Kilburn Orphanage; and
-the personal<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a>{227}</span> property distributed according to the wish of the dead.
-Let the death room be entirely repapered and painted, and, if possible,
-refurnished; and, above all, do not be afraid to speak of those who have
-gone. I know how I should resent being forgotten; and perhaps those with
-whom we have just parted may hunger to hear all about us still; at all
-events, we cannot know they do not. <i>De mortuis</i> may mean a great deal
-more than we think; it is doubly evil, surely, to speak aught but good
-of the dead if we remember not only the defencelessness which caused
-that proverb, but the idea that all we may say about them we say in
-their dumb presence, and before those who are silent, and cannot speak
-in their own defence.</p>
-
-<p>Death is a dreadful thing because of its silence, its separation. Yet if
-we meet it patiently&mdash;if we believe our dead are still within reach&mdash;we
-can bear it, more especially if we do our best to carry out their
-wishes, and do not, the moment they are gone, begin to reverse all their
-ideas and plans, and to forget them as speedily as may be; while, when
-our own time comes, we can face it bravely, feeling we are setting a
-good example, and leaving behind us nothing to pain or embarrass anyone,
-nothing but a bright remembrance, a good record, that may sooner or
-later be of use to others after us.</p>
-
-<p>The sick room has more than once been the heart of the house; the death
-chamber in its turn can become, if properly thought of, the very gate of
-heaven itself.</p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2><a name="CHAPTER_XII" id="CHAPTER_XII"></a>CHAPTER XII.<br /><br />
-<small>WHERE SHALL WE GO FOR A CHANGE?</small></h2>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="smcap">I think</span> there is nothing that tries an ordinary householder more than
-answering the question with which I have headed this, my last chapter.</p>
-
-<p>In the first place, as a rule, few men consider that a change can
-possibly be required. It seems only the other day that they returned
-from the last uncomfortable sojourn at some unhappy seaside town, and
-they are quite convinced<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a>{228}</span> that a second martyrdom cannot be necessary
-just at present. In the second, when change is really wanted, no one
-knows where to go; and in the third, if the place be selected, and the
-rooms taken, the unfortunate creature is sure to meet someone who knows
-all about it, and proceeds to make his friend profoundly miserable by
-telling him that that especial town is only decent at the very time of
-year when he cannot possibly go there; that he knows for certain an
-epidemic is raging there; and that the rooms taken for ‘six weeks
-certain’ are in the very worst part both for health and comfort, and
-that he can but wish him well home again. And the unfortunate traveller
-starts depressed and nervous; and having made up his mind to be
-miserable, is so, and derives no benefit whatever from that which was to
-do him and his soul an immense amount of good.</p>
-
-<p>Now I cannot help thinking that English people, as a rule, do not show
-the smallest common sense in the manner they manage their holidays, more
-especially, of course, among the middle classes; the upper portion of
-which often enough have a tiny cottage somewhere, of which they speak
-grandly as ‘my country house,’ and the address of which is inscribed on
-their cards, and mentioned in the ‘blue book.’ And they fly to this the
-moment the weather becomes in the least warm, remaining there until they
-are driven back by the falling leaves and chilling fogs of an October in
-the country; and then wonder they are so little benefited. Why, they
-have not had any change; no more, at least, than those a shade lower in
-the social scale, who go to the same watering-place year after year,
-spend their mornings on the beach, their afternoons in slumber, or a
-‘country walk,’ and their evenings on the pier or parade, and who see
-the same people, say the same things, and do the same actions
-mechanically as they do in town, only perhaps in a smaller space, and
-under far more uncomfortable circumstances.</p>
-
-<p>The very stupidest thing on earth, to my mind, is the annual sojourn of
-a large family of small children, accompanied by their parents, to the
-orthodox seaside rooms or lodgings. In the first place, the parents,
-children, and nurses are very much too much together; the annoyances of
-the predatory habits of the landladies spoil Materfamilias<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a>{229}</span>’ temper; the
-servants are disorganised, and imagine that because the family makes
-holiday they are to be in some measure allowed to do just as they like,
-and much resent being unable to make excursions and ramble at large,
-whether it is convenient or not for their mistress to spare them. And,
-indeed, I do not know a more hard-worked, driven creature than the
-ordinary Materfamilias at the seaside, more especially if she has left
-her own large airy house, with its nurseries and schoolrooms, and taken
-lodgings at a fashionable spot, where every inch of space costs pounds,
-and where she can never rid herself of her family for one moment.</p>
-
-<p>It is in her defence that I suggest that change of air should be
-obtained in a far easier and more satisfactory manner than it can be
-under the circumstances of which I have been speaking. As long as the
-children are quite small, I most strongly advise any mother to send them
-to the seaside in the end of May, and let them remain there until the
-first or second week in July. She should send them to some
-plainly-furnished cottage under the care of a lady who would be thankful
-to superintend them for the mere fare, change, keep, &amp;c., that would be
-such a boon to her; and she should send their nurses with them. In this
-early portion of the year lodgings are cheap and clean, and so are
-provisions; the days are longer, the heat not so great as later on; and
-the children would come back when London was thinning and the parks and
-streets safe for them to be in; and at the end of July, having settled
-the children in, the father and mother could go for the complete change
-and rest they both need so greatly, and which it is impossible for them
-to have, encumbered by their household duties and cares, which must be
-taken with them if they move their servants and children <i>en masse</i> to
-some seaside place for August and September.</p>
-
-<p>Very young children, if proper nurses and superintendents are found for
-them, do not require the companionship we shall not be able to give them
-later on if we wear ourselves out in their service when they are very
-small. By this I do not naturally mean that children should be neglected
-or left entirely to the mercy of hirelings. Far be it from me to suggest
-anything so dreadful; but I do maintain that for six weeks of the year
-they would be quite as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a>{230}</span> well at the seaside without their parents as
-they would be with them, more especially if the cottage they are sent to
-is well known and the people who keep it are acquaintances, while of
-course both the lady superintendent and the nurses should not be new,
-but should be thoroughly tested by some amount of service before they
-are trusted.</p>
-
-<p>It is better, should we determine to send the children away as I have
-suggested, to pay so much per head for all the board and lodging
-expenses combined. No servant, and indeed very few governesses, can be
-trusted to ‘housekeep.’ I cannot tell why, but the moment they are
-allowed to order the food and make purchases for the household, they all
-become most wildly extravagant, and have no more notion of managing than
-they have of flying. They may, of course, have the truly British notion
-that holiday-making and over-eating must go hand-in-hand, and proceed to
-demonstrate this by the exorbitant demands made upon one’s purse.
-Anyhow, whatever the reason, it is an axiom that housekeeping cannot be
-trusted to either, and that we should make arrangements for board as
-well as lodging unless we wish to be fairly appalled by the weekly
-bills. As an illustration, I may mention that the only time I sent my
-children to the sea with the governess, allowing her to cater for them
-all, the bills she sent me home for herself, the German maid and three
-children, were exactly treble what I paid for ourselves and the same
-number of children and six servants, and that she did not consider it
-improper to give 6<i>s.</i> for a chicken and 8<i>s.</i> for a pound of grapes.
-From this my readers will perceive that I am warning them out of my own
-experience. And this governess, moreover, was an elderly woman who had
-lived with us a great many years, and really had in some measure our
-interest at heart. Therefore I am convinced neither governess nor
-servants can make good managers; they are always provided for as far as
-food is concerned; they never have to provide, and therefore know
-nothing about it.</p>
-
-<p>I think, once we have discovered a spot that really suits the children,
-it is best to keep to that, as children simply require good sands and
-good air, and do not trouble themselves about scenery. Deal is
-absolutely delightful as regards air, but the beach is unsafe and
-pebbly, and has no sand; Margate is quite perfect; so is Westgate;
-while<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a>{231}</span> Swanage in spring leaves nothing to be desired except for
-children who require bracing air; then Swanage is not for one moment to
-be compared to either of the places I have named, which are also near
-enough to town for the parents to run down and see the children should
-they wish to do so, and, indeed, as they ought to do, to learn how they
-are getting on.</p>
-
-<p>Personally I know nothing of the east coast, but I believe there are
-plenty of little places about there where the children would be happy,
-well, and safe; and I should recommend anyone before finally choosing
-the summer home of the children to make an exhaustive survey of the
-English coast, and, having found one place which will suit, then to
-stick to that until the children are twelve years old. Then one would
-have to begin to alter one’s plans a little, more especially if the boys
-go to school and are only at home in the holidays; then the children and
-parents must go out together, else they will never meet, and will grow
-up like strangers to each other.</p>
-
-<p>During the minority, so to speak, of the children, the parents would be
-wise to spend their holidays in learning which would be the nicest
-places to take the children to when they are beginning to grow up; they
-should make and keep notes of excursions, advantages, prices, and
-houses, and should be able to refer to them in a moment, when they have
-to decide on the place where they are to spend their holiday in; they
-must not trust to their memory, the best of memories will not retain the
-names of the house agents, the position of the different streets, and
-the aspect of the different houses, while the notes would be always
-there to refer to, and would be of immense service to them in more ways
-than one.</p>
-
-<p>Now, having made up their minds to the change, it is absolutely
-necessary that a house, not rooms, should be taken, if anyone is to
-enjoy the holiday at all.</p>
-
-<p>There can be no freedom and very little enjoyment, and there is great
-risk of infection at the seaside unless the house is shared by someone
-we may happen to know, if we take only a part of a house. We may have a
-fidgety mortal who sends up twenty times a day to ask our children to be
-quiet, or we may have a screaming, badly managed baby near us, a piano
-which plays just when we don’t want it to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a>{232}</span> play, or we may meet on the
-stairs a convalescent from some childish complaint, who may hand it on
-to our children, and bring our holiday to an abrupt conclusion with
-measles or whooping-cough. Then there are always the landlady, the
-larder difficulties, and the horrors of being waited on by strange
-servants, generally most inferior ones, and always those who cannot and
-do not understand our ways. Therefore I maintain that a house is a <i>sine
-quâ non</i>, and that if we cannot afford to take one and go away
-comfortably we had better remain at home; if we leave we may get fresher
-air, we shall have the necessary change, but the change will be for the
-worse, and the good the fresher air may do will be more than outbalanced
-by the continual rasping worry of arranging, and very likely battling
-with the servants, who resent the landlady’s interference, and won’t do
-any more work than they can help, under the mistaken idea that the
-house-servants are to wait on them, and in the endless worries caused by
-the disappearance of one’s food, and the disagreeable feeling that
-everything one touches has probably been well ‘pawed over’ by the
-lodging-house maid, if not by the mistress herself.</p>
-
-<p>If, therefore, as I remarked before, we cannot afford to go away
-comfortably we had better remain at home, going away in detachments if
-the doctor thinks that the weaker members must have sea air; in that
-case visits can always be managed, for everyone almost has relations or
-friends in the country, or knows of some nice family who will take in a
-stray child or two and ‘do for them’ with their own; while if the boys
-are away at school, they are quite satisfied to return to their own
-haunts, while no end of excursions can be made from London and in and
-round London, which is, it must be confessed, just a little hot in
-August, and smells just a little of over-ripe fruit and dead cabbage
-leaves, but is positively delightful in September with its soft skies
-and its wonderful effects of cloud and sunshine, and which has always
-something amusing to show those who really appreciate the most
-delightful and picturesque city in the whole world. I love my London,
-even in August, when the parks are empty of fashionable people, but full
-of the most beautiful flowers and palms, which only those who remain in
-town in that unfashionable month ever see at their prime; and despite
-the heat and the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a>{233}</span> odours in the streets, I would rather be in London
-than in a cramped lodging at the sea, where I was inundated with
-children, worried by bad service, and had none of my own belongings
-about me; and, in fact, had not time to read or sit alone to enjoy
-myself in the peace and quiet that are absolutely necessary to make a
-holiday even endurable.</p>
-
-<p>I hope my readers will not think I am writing of what I do not know when
-I say that London in August and September is quite as beautiful and
-entrancing as it is in the heart of the season. I have been for the last
-seven years constantly in the beloved city in those unfashionable
-months, and I unreservedly advise anyone in want of a real change to go
-up to town then. They will learn and see more then than at any other
-time; they will not be hurried; they will be able to see everything
-quietly, and will really see what they never can when the roads are
-crammed with carriages and the streets with people&mdash;<i>i.e.</i> how beautiful
-London is, and how many things she possesses we never dream of when we
-are simply rushing from occupation to amusement, and are only thinking
-of our work or pleasure. However, as I cannot expect all to believe me,
-or to share my enthusiasm for the streets and chimney-pots that I adore,
-I will simply now advise my readers how to proceed once they have made
-up their minds to go away. If possible they should let their own house;
-if not, they should endeavour always to keep to the same caretaker who
-should, if possible, be married to a policeman and have a dog, but no
-children; the furniture should be covered over, and ‘put to bed’ by the
-upholsterer, who understands how to prepare for possible moth and damp,
-and who will not make an exorbitant charge for what will, as a rule,
-prevent most of the things from being spoiled. Fires should be ordered,
-no matter what the weather may be, in rotation all through the house,
-for one that is uninhabited, and in which very little gas, if any, will
-be burned, always becomes damp in our climate; while it would be wise to
-have the gas cut off at the meter entirely. We should save a great deal
-of waste; and as caretakers are used to lamps in their own abodes, we
-should run no risk of fire, not as much as we do when we leave the gas
-for the use of those who often enough have never had any<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a>{234}</span> control over
-it on their own account, and so have not learned how to save it or even
-use it.</p>
-
-<p>No valuables should be left in the house; all should be sent to the
-bank; and we should naturally take our plate with us for use. But,
-having taken our house by the sea, we should in some measure know what
-it wants, and we should invariably have ornaments, photographs, &amp;c., to
-take with us to brighten up the house and to make it home-like; while
-the children must take their story-books, work, and playthings. We must,
-in fact, prepare in every way we can for a rainy day; rain must fall,
-and if the children have their books and toys, and their own rooms, they
-will be as happy, and be no more of a nuisance by the sea than they are
-at home; at least, if they are, it will be the fault of the parents and
-not of the unfortunate children themselves.</p>
-
-<p>I have always had three very large wicker baskets set apart for using at
-similar crises of our existence. One holds the household linen, another
-the nursery and schoolroom toys and books, and the third is set apart
-for loose cretonne covers, serge table-cloths, and any amount of
-photographs and ornaments to render the temporary house home-like; for
-even if I find my new domicile replete with ornaments, I always put them
-all away at once. Ornaments are always priceless when the reckoning
-comes to be taken; they can’t possibly be harmed if they retired into a
-cupboard the moment we arrived, and only emerged from their seclusion
-the day we leave.</p>
-
-<p>If the china and glass in a house are really expensive and good, I also
-put them all away, and I purchase for our own use the very cheapest ware
-I can find. China and glass are so very cheap nowadays, that it is far
-better to do this than be made to pay fabulous sums for the owner’s
-china, which seems to one so hideous, and is only costly because in
-these artistic days of ours it is impossible to match it.</p>
-
-<p>The contents of my basket soon make even a hideous room much better;
-while one feels that one need not always be on the look-out, as one must
-be to protect another person’s property if one does not take these
-precautions; but, as a rule, furnished houses are so absolutely
-unfurnished and ugly, I am thankful to cover up what I find,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a>{235}</span> and so in
-some measure mitigate the horrors of my surroundings, by putting about
-as many of my own belongings as I can take with me. We also, when we go
-away, always put at the top of each separate person’s box that
-individual’s own sheets, pillow-cases, and eider-down quilt; and I never
-go away without some spare pillows, and any amount of cushions. This
-sounds luxurious; but why should we be uncomfortable because we are not
-at home? On the contrary, because we are not we ought to take more care
-than ever that all shall be as nice as we can make it; while, the sheets
-and pillow-cases being ready, the servants have no trouble in settling
-in the first evening. They open the boxes and make the beds at once,
-with sheets we know are aired; and therefore, even in the confusion that
-is generally apparent at these times, we have no risk of spending our
-first night between damp sheets.</p>
-
-<p>Another thing we should provide ourselves with is a hamper of groceries,
-and, if we are to arrive late, with sufficient cooked food to supply the
-establishment for the night and next morning. Each servant should be
-told off to certain duties, and no hurry or confusion should be allowed.
-All, except one box in which to put the last things, should be locked
-and strapped the night before, and the luggage should be at the station
-in good time; the tickets should all be procured; or at least ordered,
-the day before; and if these simple precautions are taken the journey
-need be hardly any trouble at all. It must be some, but nothing to speak
-of, when the servants know their work, are ready in advance, and are not
-allowed to forget anything, not even the harmless necessary cat.</p>
-
-<p>Now a few words about the animals: and let me beg anyone who has cats
-and dogs to take these poor things with them. We always do; the dogs go
-with the horses, the cats with the servants, and they never attempt to
-stray. They are absolutely and abjectly miserable if we leave them at
-home, even with a caretaker; while they cost nothing to take, and are
-happy with us, just as, in fact, they are at home. I have nothing to say
-about or to those people who are wicked enough to ‘stray’ their cats, or
-leave them shut out in the garden, to forage for themselves. They must
-be such cruel wretches, that I hope they may not even read this book;
-but many people,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a>{236}</span> possessed of the kindest hearts have no compunction in
-leaving their cats to caretakers, little understanding how these poor
-things pine for the human companionship to which they are accustomed,
-and after which they long pitifully. Now a cat costs nothing, a dog very
-little, to take; so I do hope all who can will consider if their holiday
-cannot be shared by their dumb friends. I am sure they will never regret
-it if they make up their minds to take them with them.</p>
-
-<p>When once settled in the temporary house, all should be found out that
-there is to be found out about the points of interest in the
-neighbourhood, and all these should be visited; as a rule, a local
-guide-book is very little real use; but one should always be obtained
-and studied in connection with the county history. One’s holiday is a
-thousand times more profitable and pleasant if we see all there is to be
-seen, and do not waste our time listening to an inferior band, or
-hanging about on the pier, wearing smart clothes, which are entirely out
-of place by the sea.</p>
-
-<p>Indeed, blue serge should be the only wear, as far as young people are
-concerned, with flannels for boys. I remember how wretched we used to be
-over our light print and muslin frocks; in consequence of which I have
-always taken care our children should never have anything that they had
-to think about on the shore. Half our pleasure used to be spoiled by the
-idea that we should have to pay for it by being scolded by our governess
-for the sandy, wet garments, inseparable from any real play by the
-fascinating sea. Now, with the high india-rubber boots we buy at
-Scarborough, and serge skirts, and under-drawers of serge, no girl can
-possibly harm, paddle how she may; while the same high boots and serge
-or flannel suits make the boys quite happy. The boots protect the feet
-from possible cuts, and do away with any hygienic difficulties; many
-people refusing to allow their children to paddle because feet should
-not be wet if the heads cannot be wet too; the feet do not get wet in
-these high boots, and therefore, provided with them, the last objection
-to paddling is quite done away with; and without paddling, what is the
-seashore? Very little to the children, who cannot have too much of this
-most delightful amusement. The sea is the best holiday companion one can
-have. I therefore<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_237" id="page_237"></a>{237}</span> most strongly advise all who are bent on a holiday
-for the children to take them to the sea and not to the inland country;
-where, if it be wet, mud keeps them prisoners, whereas by the sea rain
-dries up at once, and there is always something to look at; for, of
-course, the ideal holiday house faces the sea, and has a good view of
-whatever is going on.</p>
-
-<p>And now, having said all I can about the children’s holiday, let me add
-just a few words about sharing the holiday, if in any way possible, with
-some child or someone who cannot afford to go away at all, unless a
-friendly invitation manages this for them.</p>
-
-<p>I have written very little about charities in this book, but I could
-have set down much on the subject, and I may say that the truest of all
-charities is that which quietly and unostentatiously helps that most
-unfortunate, most deserving of all classes&mdash;the poor lady or gentleman,
-who is too well-born to be assisted with money, but who requires help a
-thousand times more than the very, very poor to whom one can give a few
-shillings. No one ever thinks of the over-worked, underpaid curate or
-the orphan child. We could, when we take our house for the holidays,
-surely reserve a corner for them. They are pleasant visitors, and we
-shall have the delightful feeling that while our children have been
-gaining strength we have helped others to do the same. Most people
-contrive to have visitors while they are away; let them be those who
-would not have gone away at all had we not asked them to come to us
-while we are at the sea. They can generally manage the railway fare,
-while of course we can judiciously contrive that they are not forced
-into any expense for excursions if we take them; we can easily manage
-this if we have the smallest tact, while of course we must not affront
-them by boldly offering to pay their fare, but if we are accustomed to
-go first-class, and yet know third-class would suit our friend’s pocket
-better, we can all go third boldly; it will not hurt us one bit, and it
-will save them from the unpleasantness of spending more than they can
-afford, or of being paid for by us, which would be terrible for them.</p>
-
-<p>There is still another holiday of which I wish to speak, and then I
-shall lay down my pen and close my book, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a>{238}</span> that is the yearly
-honeymoon-holiday all husbands and wives should try and manage to take
-together.</p>
-
-<p>Nothing so keeps up the bond of affection between them as this,
-particularly when both are busy people and see nothing at all of each
-other during the day, and are often too tired in the evening to speak at
-all except on the most necessary subjects; and even if they are not
-tired there are always the boys and girls about, once they have begun to
-grow up, and there is no time they can call their own&mdash;none in which
-they can talk as they used to do&mdash;none in which they can discuss the
-children’s future or talk about their own plans and hopes and wishes. Of
-course I am told many husbands and wives are only too thankful to be
-spared the chance of a <i>tête-à-tête</i> that must be nothing save a bore. I
-maintain that this is not in the least degree true; that those who have
-been married many years have far more in common, far more to say to each
-other, than the young folks just starting on life’s journey can possibly
-have to say, and that the yearly holiday taken together does more to
-make the domestic car move along gracefully and lightly than anything
-else I know. The wife is relieved from the unceasing ordering of the
-dinner and planning of everything, while the husband once more finds
-himself responsible for all the little details, and delights once again
-to have his wife to himself and to look after and wait upon as in the
-days of old; while the children are safe at their lessons or looking
-after the house in their absence; and once more there is a real holiday
-feeling in the air, and they can fancy themselves young and starting on
-life’s journey hand-in-hand over again. There is nothing so amusing to
-me as the discovery that grown-up daughters and sons have no idea that
-their father and mother can really want to be alone together, or that
-they can possibly prefer each other’s society to that of their friends
-or their own children. But, my dear young people, it is the case; and
-though of course your parents are always delighted to have you with
-them, they do occasionally wish to be alone together. The yearly holiday
-allows for that, as does an occasional holiday together during the year;
-and these holidays should never be forgotten or omitted. They should be
-kept up vigorously, and no blandishments from our children should be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a>{239}</span>
-allowed to break in upon the <i>solitude à deux</i>&mdash;the honeymoon-holiday
-should be taken together or not at all.</p>
-
-<p>And now, reluctantly and regretfully, I must say farewell to those with
-whom I have conversed so long in these pages. I feel this book has not
-the light-hearted gaiety with which Angelina and Edwin plan out their
-newly-married life, and with which they start out to furnish their
-little home, in ‘From Kitchen to Garret;’ but if I am more serious here
-it is because life grows more serious as one grows older, as one
-realises how much there is to do and how difficult it is to steer the
-bark freighted with one’s growing-up children, and with more money to be
-spent judiciously, a larger house to be managed, so that we may do as
-much good as we possibly can, so that it may give as much happiness to
-as many as can be managed, and in some measure so exist as to leave the
-world immediately within its influence just a little bit better than we
-found it.</p>
-
-<p>We must realise, wherever we are, that we influence someone, perhaps
-very many people, either for good or for evil. It is no use to bury our
-heads in the sand, and pretend that no one need be influenced by us
-unless they like, and that it is not our fault if they are. It is our
-fault, and we cannot get rid of our responsibility in this way; while if
-we boldly accept our fate, and do our duty manfully, we shall have our
-reward, more especially if we endeavour not to know the ‘best’ people
-because we crave for social exaltation, and to mix with those who resent
-our intrusion and laugh at our pretensions, but to associate with those
-whose noble minds and good thoughts and bright intellects will help our
-own, and assist us on our mental progress through the world; and to have
-as friends, not those who can give us dinner for dinner, ball for ball,
-but those to whom we can give pleasure they would never have did we
-refuse to open our doors to them, and to those whose large hearts and
-brilliant minds influence ours for good, and lead us insensibly along a
-path of peace and safety.</p>
-
-<p>The truest socialism should begin in the perfect home; the socialism
-which shares or administers but does not disperse or destroy; the
-socialism which opens the park gates to the poor, or the
-picture-galleries to those who could never see anything were it not for
-the action of the owner, that never receives a benefit without in some
-measure<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a>{240}</span> sharing it with a poorer brother, and that finally has a noble
-end in life; nay, the noblest of all, that of leaving the world a little
-better for one’s having lived and loved and worked and suffered in it.</p>
-
-<p>By these rules should the home be formed; in these paths should the
-children be led, who should never be allowed for one moment to despise
-those they may consider below them in the social scale; who should
-always be taught to share their flowers, their shells, their holidays
-and pleasures with others; and who should one and all be brought up to
-do something in life, something to assist the toiling millions around
-us, something to do good to someone besides themselves. Of course this
-is hard and anxious work; work, could we have realised it was before us
-when we so lightly accepted our fate, and laid together the foundations
-of a new home, we might never have found courage to take up; but it is
-the work set before every married man and woman in the world. They can
-either accept it or reject it; but if they do leave it alone, the undone
-work will bring its own punishment in the unhappy wicked children, and
-the wrecked and miserable home that will take the place of that which
-might have been the home which is the rule, not the exception, in
-England, and that we can all have if we have powers of endless work in
-us, and realise from others’ experience what is before us all. Then,
-when the curtain falls, when the hands part which have held each other
-so fondly, so faithfully, all through the journey, the worst parts of
-which have been gilded by the unfailing love which is God’s best gift,
-the one who goes can go boldly into the darkness, content to leave all
-to that Higher Power who has helped them so gallantly all through the
-struggle, while the one who stays knows that the link still binds them
-together, and will draw them some day back to each other again. When
-love can do this, when love can build, maintain, and keep our homes
-together, as love does, and as only love can, who shall dare to sneer
-and laugh at it, and looking at such homes dare ask sarcastically if
-marriage be a failure?</p>
-
-<p>Marriage never is, never can be, a failure, if the home is a true home,
-not an abode of vanity, an entertaining house, for gaiety and waste; and
-it is to help others just a little more from my own experience of the
-happiest of all<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a>{241}</span> homes&mdash;my own&mdash;that I have written this other book
-about the household and all that appertains to it, which I now leave to
-my good friends and readers, content to feel that they will read me
-kindly, knowing of old how kind they can be to one who has said as much
-to them on this all-fascinating subject as I have.</p>
-
-<p class="c">&nbsp; <br />&nbsp; <br /><small>
-PRINTED BY<br />
-SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE<br />
-LONDON.</small></p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a>{242}</span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a>{243}</span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<hr />
-
-<h2 class="courr"><a name="ADDRESSES" id="ADDRESSES"></a>ADDRESSES</h2>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Smee &amp; Cobay</span>, Finsbury Pavement, E.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Wallace &amp; Co.</span>, 151 Curtain Road, E.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">E. E. Pither &amp; Co.</span>, 38 Mortimer Street, E.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Kay &amp; Sons</span>, Burnley Mills, Burnley, Lancashire.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Jackson &amp; Sons</span>, 199 High Street, Borough, S.E.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Haines &amp; Co.</span>, 83 Queen Victoria Street, E.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Land &amp; Co.</span>, 92 Cannon Street, E.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Essex &amp; Co.</span>, Albert Mansions, Victoria Street, S.W.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Oetzmann &amp; Co.</span>, Hampstead Road, N.W.</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">Maison Helbronner</span>, 300 Oxford Street, W.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Graham &amp; Biddle</span>, Graham House, Oxford Street, W.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Colbourne &amp; Co.</span>, 82 Regent Street, W.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">B. Burnet &amp; Co.</span>, King Street, Covent Garden, W.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Burr &amp; Elliott</span>, Oxford Street, W.</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">G. Faulkner Armitage</span>, Esq., Stamford House, Altrincham, Cheshire.</p>
-
-<p><span class="smcap">The Edinburgh Life Assurance Company</span>, 11 King William Street, E.C.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Giles &amp; Co.</span>, 19 Old Cavendish Street, W.</p>
-
-<p>Messrs. <span class="smcap">Hoskyns &amp; Co.</span>, Ben Trovato Red Works, Darlington, Durham.</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. <span class="smcap">M‘Clelland</span>, 33 Warwick Road, Maida Hill, W.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. <span class="smcap">Thomas</span>, Decorator, Bowdon, Cheshire.</p></div>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_244" id="page_244"></a>{244}</span></p>
-
-<p><a name="transcrib" id="transcrib"></a></p>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary=""
-style="padding:2%;border:3px dotted gray;">
-<tr><th align="center">Typographical errors corrected by the etext transcriber:</th></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">hundreds of unformed units=> hundreds of uniformed units {pg 114}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">and, as they as generally shrink in the was=> and, as they generally shrink in the was {pg 147}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">allowing great familarity=> allowing great familiarity {pg 167}</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c">they are fourteen and and not a day before=> they are fourteen and not a day before {pg 179}</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="figcenter">
-<img src="images/back.jpg" width="313" height="500" alt="cover" title="[Image
-of the book's back cover unavailable.]" />
-</p>
-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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