diff options
Diffstat (limited to 'old/5197.txt')
| -rw-r--r-- | old/5197.txt | 20028 |
1 files changed, 0 insertions, 20028 deletions
diff --git a/old/5197.txt b/old/5197.txt deleted file mode 100644 index e9b6581..0000000 --- a/old/5197.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,20028 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of My Life, Volume I, by Richard Wagner - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: My Life, Volume I - -Author: Richard Wagner - -Posting Date: September 20, 2012 [EBook #5197] -Release Date: February, 2004 -First Posted: June 2, 2002 - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY LIFE, VOLUME I *** - - - - -Produced by John Mamoun <mamounjo@umdnj.edu> with help -from Charles Franks and the Online distributed proofreading -website - - - - - - - - - - - - -My Life, Volume 1 - -By Richard Wagner - - - -TABLE OF CONTENTS - - - PREFACE - CONTENTS - MY LIFE - - PART I. 1813-1842 - PART II. 1842-1850 (Dresden) - - - - -PREFACE - - - -The contents of these volumes have been written down directly from my -dictation, over a period of several years, by my friend and wife, who -wished me to tell her the story of my life. It was the desire of both -of us that these details of my life should be accessible to our family -and to our sincere and trusted friends; and we decided therefore, in -order to provide against a possible destruction of the one manuscript, -to have a small number of copies printed at our own expense. As the -value of this autobiography consists in its unadorned veracity, which, -under the circumstances, is its only justification, therefore my -statements had to be accompanied by precise names and dates; hence -there could be no question of their publication until some time after -my death, should interest in them still survive in our descendants, and -on that point I intend leaving directions in my will. - -If, on the other hand, we do not refuse certain intimate friends a -sight of these papers now, it is that, relying on their genuine -interest in the contents, we are confident that they will not pass on -their knowledge to any who do not share their feelings in the matter. - -Richard Wagner - - - -CONTENTS - - - - Part I. 1813-1842 - - Childhood and Schooldays - Musical Studies - Travels in Germany (First Marriage) - Paris: 1839-42 - - Part II. 1842-1850 (Dresden) - - 'Rienzi' - 'The Flying Dutchman' - Liszt, Spontini, Marschner, etc. - 'Tannhauser' - Franck, Schumann, Semper, Gutzkow, Auerbach - 'Lohengrin' (Libretto) - Ninth Symphony - Spohr, Gluck, Hiller, Devrient - Official Position. - Studies in Historical Literature - 'Rienzi' at Berlin - Relations with the Management, Mother's Death, etc. - Growing Sympathy with Political Events, Bakunin - The May Insurrection - Flight: Weimar, Zurich, Paris, Bordeaux, Geneva, Zurich - -ILLUSTRATIONS [not shown in e-text] - - FRONTISPIECE FOR VOLUME I - - Richard Wagner in 1842, from the Portrait by E. Kietz. - -FRONTISPIECE FOR VOLUME II - - Richard Wagner about 1872 by Lenbach. - -Original in the possession of Frau Cosima Wagner These frontispieces -are used by the courtesy of Mr. F. Bruckmann. - - - -MY LIFE - - - -PART I - -1813-1842 - - - -I was born at Leipzig on the 22nd of May 1813, in a room on the second -floor of the 'Red and White Lion,' and two days later was baptized at -St. Thomas's Church, and christened Wilhelm Richard. - -My father, Friedrich Wagner, was at the time of my birth a clerk in the -police service at Leipzig, and hoped to get the post of Chief Constable -in that town, but he died in the October of that same year. His death -was partly due to the great exertions imposed upon him by the stress of -police work during the war troubles and the battle of Leipzig, and -partly to the fact that he fell a victim to the nervous fever which was -raging at that time. As regards his father's position in life, I learnt -later that he had held a small civil appointment as toll collector at -the Ranstadt Gate, but had distinguished himself from those in the same -station by giving his two sons a superior education, my father, -Friedrich, studying law, and the younger son, Adolph, theology. - -My uncle subsequently exercised no small influence on my development; -we shall meet him again at a critical turning-point in the story of my -youth. - -My father, whom I had lost so early, was, as I discovered afterwards, a -great lover of poetry and literature in general, and possessed in -particular an almost passionate affection for the drama, which was at -that time much in vogue among the educated classes. My mother told me, -among other things, that he took her to Lauchstadt for the first -performance of the Braut von Messina, and that on the promenade he -pointed out Schiller and Goethe to her, and reproved her warmly for -never having heard of these great men. He is said to have been not -altogether free from a gallant interest in actresses. My mother used to -complain jokingly that she often had to keep lunch waiting for him -while he was paying court to a certain famous actress of the day -[FOOTNOTE: Madame Hartwig]. When she scolded him, he vowed that he had -been delayed by papers that had to be attended to, and as a proof of -his assertion pointed to his fingers, which were supposed to be stained -with ink, but on closer inspection were found to be quite clean. His -great fondness for the theatre was further shown by his choice of the -actor, Ludwig Geyer, as one of his intimate friends. Although his -choice of this friend was no doubt mainly due to his love for the -theatre, he at the same time introduced into his family the noblest of -benefactors; for this modest artist, prompted by a warm interest in the -lot of his friend's large family, so unexpectedly left destitute, -devoted the remainder of his life to making strenuous efforts to -maintain and educate the orphans. Even when the police official was -spending his evenings at the theatre, the worthy actor generally filled -his place in the family circle, and it seems had frequently to appease -my mother, who, rightly or wrongly, complained of the frivolity of her -husband. - -How deeply the homeless artist, hard pressed by life and tossed to and -fro, longed to feel himself at home in a sympathetic family circle, was -proved by the fact that a year after his friend's death he married his -widow, and from that time forward became a most loving father to the -seven children that had been left behind. - -In this onerous undertaking he was favoured by an unexpected -improvement in his position, for he obtained a remunerative, -respectable, and permanent engagement, as a character actor, at the -newly established Court Theatre in Dresden. His talent for painting, -which had already helped him to earn a livelihood when forced by -extreme poverty to break off his university studies, again stood him in -good stead in his position at Dresden. True, he complained even more -than his critics that he had been kept from a regular and systematic -study of this art, yet his extraordinary aptitude, for portrait -painting in particular, secured him such important commissions that he -unfortunately exhausted his strength prematurely by his twofold -exertions as painter and actor. Once, when he was invited to Munich to -fulfil a temporary engagement at the Court Theatre, he received, -through the distinguished recommendation of the Saxon Court, such -pressing commissions from the Bavarian Court for portraits of the royal -family that he thought it wise to cancel his contract altogether. He -also had a turn for poetry. Besides fragments--often in very dainty -verse--he wrote several comedies, one of which, Der Bethlehemitische -Kindermord, in rhymed Alexandrines, was often performed; it was -published and received the warmest praise from Goethe. - -This excellent man, under whose care our family moved to Dresden when I -was two years old, and by whom my mother had another daughter, Cecilia, -now also took my education in hand with the greatest care and -affection. He wished to adopt me altogether, and accordingly, when I -was sent to my first school, he gave me his own name, so that till the -age of fourteen I was known to my Dresden schoolfellows as Richard -Geyer; and it was not until some years after my stepfather's death, and -on my family's return to Leipzig, the home of my own kith and kin, that -I resumed the name of Wagner. - -The earliest recollections of my childhood are associated with my -stepfather, and passed from him to the theatre. I well remember that he -would have liked to see me develop a talent for painting; and his -studio, with the easel and the pictures upon it, did not fail to -impress me. I remember in particular that I tried, with a childish love -of imitation, to copy a portrait of King Frederick Augustus of Saxony; -but when this simple daubing had to give place to a serious study of -drawing, I could not stand it, possibly because I was discouraged by -the pedantic technique of my teacher, a cousin of mine, who was rather -a bore. At one time during my early boyhood I became so weak after some -childish ailment that my mother told me later she used almost to wish -me dead, for it seemed as though I should never get well. However, my -subsequent good health apparently astonished my parents. I afterwards -learnt the noble part played by my excellent stepfather on this -occasion also; he never gave way to despair, in spite of the cares and -troubles of so large a family, but remained patient throughout, and -never lost the hope of pulling me through safely. - -My imagination at this time was deeply impressed by my acquaintance -with the theatre, with which I was brought into contact, not only as a -childish spectator from the mysterious stagebox, with its access to the -stage, and by visits to the wardrobe with its fantastic costumes, wigs -and other disguises, but also by taking a part in the performances -myself. After I had been filled with fear by seeing my father play the -villain's part in such tragedies as Die Waise und der Morder, Die -beiden Galeerensklaven, I occasionally took part in comedy. I remember -that I appeared in Der Weinberg an der Elbe, a piece specially written -to welcome the King of Saxony on his return from captivity, with music -by the conductor, C. M. von Weber. In this I figured in a tableau -vivant as an angel, sewn up in tights with wings on my back, in a -graceful pose which I had laboriously practised. I also remember on -this occasion being given a big iced cake, which I was assured the King -had intended for me personally. Lastly, I can recall taking a child's -part in which I had a few words to speak in Kotzebue's Menschenhass und -Reue [Footnote: 'Misanthropy and Remorse.'], which furnished me with an -excuse at school for not having learnt my lessons. I said I had too -much to do, as I had to learn by heart an important part in Den -Menschen ausser der Reihe. [Footnote: 'The Man out of the Rank or Row.' -In the German this is a simple phonetic corruption of Kotzebue's title, -which might easily occur to a child who had only heard, and not read, -that title.--EDITOR.] - -On the other hand, to show how seriously my father regarded my -education, when I was six years old he took me to a clergyman in the -country at Possendorf, near Dresden, where I was to be given a sound -and healthy training with other boys of my own class. In the evening, -the vicar, whose name was Wetzel, used to tell us the story of Robinson -Crusoe, and discuss it with us in a highly instructive manner. I was, -moreover, much impressed by a biography of Mozart which was read aloud; -and the newspaper accounts and monthly reports of the events of the -Greek War of Independence stirred my imagination deeply. My love for -Greece, which afterwards made me turn with enthusiasm to the mythology -and history of ancient Hellas, was thus the natural outcome of the -intense and painful interest I took in the events of this period. In -after years the story of the struggle of the Greeks against the -Persians always revived my impressions of this modern revolt of Greece -against the Turks. - -One day, when I had been in this country home scarcely a year, a -messenger came from town to ask the vicar to take me to my parents' -house in Dresden, as my father was dying. - -We did the three hours' journey on foot; and as I was very exhausted -when I arrived, I scarcely understood why my mother was crying. The -next day I was taken to my father's bedside; the extreme weakness with -which he spoke to me, combined with all the precautions taken in the -last desperate treatment of his complaint--acute hydrothorax--made the -whole scene appear like a dream to me, and I think I was too frightened -and surprised to cry. - -In the next room my mother asked me to show her what I could play on -the piano, wisely hoping to divert my father's thoughts by the sound. I -played Ueb' immer Treu und Redlichkeit, and my father said to her, 'Is -it possible he has musical talent?' - -In the early hours of the next morning my mother came into the great -night nursery, and, standing by the bedside of each of us in turn, told -us, with sobs, that our father was dead, and gave us each a message -with his blessing. To me she said, 'He hoped to make something of you.' - -In the afternoon my schoolmaster, Wetzel, came to take me back to the -country. We walked the whole way to Possendorf, arriving at nightfall. -On the way I asked him many questions about the stars, of which he gave -me my first intelligent idea. - -A week later my stepfather's brother arrived from Eisleben for the -funeral. He promised, as far as he was able, to support the family, -which was now once more destitute, and undertook to provide for my -future education. - -I took leave of my companions and of the kind-hearted clergyman, and it -was for his funeral that I paid my next visit to Possendorf a few years -later. I did not go to the place again till long afterwards, when I -visited it on an excursion such as I often made, far into the country, -at the time when I was conducting the orchestra in Dresden. I was much -grieved not to find the old parsonage still there, but in its place a -more pretentious modern structure, which so turned me against the -locality, that thenceforward my excursions were always made in another -direction. - -This time my uncle brought me back to Dresden in the carriage. I found -my mother and sister in the deepest mourning, and remember being -received for the first time with a tenderness not usual in our family; -and I noticed that the same tenderness marked our leave-taking, when, a -few days later, my uncle took me with him to Eisleben. - -This uncle, who was a younger brother of my stepfather, had settled -there as a goldsmith, and Julius, one of my elder brothers, had already -been apprenticed to him. Our old grandmother also lived with this -bachelor son, and as it was evident that she could not live long, she -was not informed of the death of her eldest son, which I, too, was -bidden to keep to myself. The servant carefully removed the crape from -my coat, telling me she would keep it until my grandmother died, which -was likely to be soon. - -I was now often called upon to tell her about my father, and it was no -great difficulty for me to keep the secret of his death, as I had -scarcely realised it myself. She lived in a dark back room looking out -upon a narrow courtyard, and took a great delight in watching the -robins that fluttered freely about her, and for which she always kept -fresh green boughs by the stove. When some of these robins were killed -by the cat, I managed to catch others for her in the neighbourhood, -which pleased her very much, and, in return, she kept me tidy and -clean. Her death, as had been expected, took place before long, and the -crape that had been put away was now openly worn in Eisleben. - -The back room, with its robins and green branches, now knew me no more, -but I soon made myself at home with a soap-boiler's family, to whom the -house belonged, and became popular with them on account of the stories -I told them. - -I was sent to a private school kept by a man called Weiss, who left an -impression of gravity and dignity upon my mind. - -Towards the end of the fifties I was greatly moved at reading in a -musical paper the account of a concert at Eisleben, consisting of parts -of Tannhauser, at which my former master, who had not forgotten his -young pupil, had been present. - -The little old town with Luther's house, and the numberless memorials -it contained of his stay there, has often, in later days, come back to -me in dreams. I have always wished to revisit it and verify the -clearness of my recollections, but, strange to say, it has never been -my fate to do so. We lived in the market-place, where I was often -entertained by strange sights, such, for instance, as performances by a -troupe of acrobats, in which a man walked a rope stretched from tower -to tower across the square, an achievement which long inspired me with -a passion for such feats of daring. Indeed, I got so far as to walk a -rope fairly easily myself with the help of a balancing-pole. I had made -the rope out of cords twisted together and stretched across the -courtyard, and even now I still feel a desire to gratify my acrobatic -instincts. The thing that attracted me most, however, was the brass -band of a Hussar regiment quartered at Eisleben. It often played a -certain piece which had just come out, and which was making a great -sensation, I mean the 'Huntsmen's Chorus' out of the Freischutz, that -had been recently performed at the Opera in Berlin. My uncle and -brother asked me eagerly about its composer, Weber, whom I must have -seen at my parents' house in Dresden, when he was conductor of the -orchestra there. - -About the same time the Jungfernkranz was zealously played and sung by -some friends who lived near us. These two pieces cured me of my -weakness for the 'Ypsilanti' Waltz, which till that time I had regarded -as the most wonderful of compositions. - -I have recollections of frequent tussles with the town boys, who were -constantly mocking at me for my 'square' cap; and I remember, too, that -I was very fond of rambles of adventure among the rocky banks of the -Unstrut. - -My uncle's marriage late in life, and the starting of his new home, -brought about a marked alteration in his relations to my family. - -After a lapse of a year I was taken by him to Leipzig, and handed over -for some days to the Wagners, my own father's relatives, consisting of -my uncle Adolph and his sister Friederike Wagner. This extraordinarily -interesting man, whose influence afterwards became ever more -stimulating to me, now for the first time brought himself and his -singular environment into my life. - -He and my aunt were very close friends of Jeannette Thome, a queer old -maid who shared with them a large house in the market-place, in which, -if I am not mistaken, the Electoral family of Saxony had, ever since -the days of Augustus the Strong, hired and furnished the two principal -storeys for their own use whenever they were in Leipzig. - -So far as I know, Jeannette Thome really owned the second storey, of -which she inhabited only a modest apartment looking out on the -courtyard. As, however, the King merely occupied the hired rooms for a -few days in the year, Jeannette and her circle generally made use of -his splendid apartments, and one of these staterooms was made into a -bedroom for me. - -The decorations and fittings of these rooms also dated from the days of -Augustus the Strong. They were luxurious with heavy silk and rich -rococo furniture, all of which were much soiled with age. As a matter -of fact, I was delighted by these large strange rooms, looking out upon -the bustling Leipzig market-place, where I loved above all to watch the -students in the crowd making their way along in their old-fashioned -'Club' attire, and filling up the whole width of the street. - -There was only one portion of the decorations of the rooms that I -thoroughly disliked, and this consisted of the various portraits, but -particularly those of high-born dames in hooped petticoats, with -youthful faces and powdered hair. These appeared to me exactly like -ghosts, who, when I was alone in the room, seemed to come back to life, -and filled me with the most abject fear. To sleep alone in this distant -chamber, in that old-fashioned bed of state, beneath those unearthly -pictures, was a constant terror to me. It is true I tried to hide my -fear from my aunt when she lighted me to bed in the evening with her -candle, but never a night passed in which I was not a prey to the most -horrible ghostly visions, my dread of which would leave me in a bath of -perspiration. - -The personality of the three chief occupants of this storey was -admirably adapted to materialise the ghostly impressions of the house -into a reality that resembled some strange fairy-tale. - -Jeannette Thome was very small and stout; she wore a fair Titus wig, -and seemed to hug to herself the consciousness of vanished beauty. My -aunt, her faithful friend and guardian, who was also an old maid, was -remarkable for the height and extreme leanness of her person. The -oddity of her otherwise very pleasant face was increased by an -exceedingly pointed chin. - -My uncle Adolph had chosen as his permanent study a dark room in the -courtyard. There it was that I saw him for the first time, surrounded -by a great wilderness of books, and attired in an unpretentious indoor -costume, the most striking feature of which was a tall, pointed felt -cap, such as I had seen worn by the clown who belonged to the troupe of -rope-dancers at Eisleben. A great love of independence had driven him -to this strange retreat. He had been originally destined for the -Church, but he soon gave that up, in order to devote himself entirely -to philological studies. But as he had the greatest dislike of acting -as a professor and teacher in a regular post, he soon tried to make a -meagre livelihood by literary work. He had certain social gifts, and -especially a fine tenor voice, and appears in his youth to have been -welcome as a man of letters among a fairly wide circle of friends at -Leipzig. - -On a trip to Jena, during which he and a companion seem to have found -their way into various musical and oratorical associations, he paid a -visit to Schiller. With this object in view, he had come armed with a -request from the management of the Leipzig Theatre, who wanted to -secure the rights of Wallenstein, which was just finished. He told me -later of the magic impression made upon him by Schiller, with his tall -slight figure and irresistibly attractive blue eyes. His only complaint -was that, owing to a well-meant trick played on him by his friend, he -had been placed in a most trying position; for the latter had managed -to send Schiller a small volume of Adolph Wagner's poems in advance. - -The young poet was much embarrassed to hear Schiller address him in -flattering terms on the subject of his poetry, but was convinced that -the great man was merely encouraging him out of kindness. Afterwards he -devoted himself entirely to philological studios--one of his best-known -publications in that department being his Parnasso Italiano, which he -dedicated to Goethe in an Italian poem. True, I have heard experts say -that the latter was written in unusually pompous Italian; but Goethe -sent him a letter full of praise, as well as a silver cup from his own -household plate. The impression that I, as a boy of eight, conceived of -Adolph Wagner, amid the surroundings of his own home, was that he was a -peculiarly puzzling character. - -I soon had to leave the influence of this environment and was brought -back to my people at Dresden. Meanwhile my family, under the guidance -of my bereaved mother, had been obliged to settle down as well as they -could under the circumstances. My eldest brother Albert, who originally -intended to study medicine, had, upon the advice of Weber, who had much -admired his beautiful tenor voice, started his theatrical career in -Breslau. My second sister Louisa soon followed his example, and became -an actress. My eldest sister Rosalie had obtained an excellent -engagement at the Dresden Court Theatre, and the younger members of the -family all looked up to her; for she was now the main support of our -poor sorrowing mother. My family still occupied the same comfortable -home which my father had made for them. Some of the spare rooms were -occasionally let to strangers, and Spohr was among those who at one -time lodged with us. Thanks to her great energy, and to help received -from various sources (among which the continued generosity of the -Court, out of respect to the memory of my late stepfather, must not be -forgotten), my mother managed so well in making both ends meet, that -even my education did not suffer. - -After it had been decided that my sister Clara, owing to her -exceedingly beautiful voice, should also go on the stage, my mother -took the greatest care to prevent me from developing any taste whatever -for the theatre. She never ceased to reproach herself for having -consented to the theatrical career of my eldest brother, and as my -second brother showed no greater talents than those which were useful -to him as a goldsmith, it was now her chief desire to see some progress -made towards the fulfilment of the hopes and wishes of my step-father, -'who hoped to make something of me.' On the completion of my eighth -year I was sent to the Kreuz Grammar School in Dresden, where it was -hoped I would study! There I was placed at the bottom of the lowest -class, and started my education under the most unassuming auspices. - -My mother noted with much interest the slightest signs I might show of -a growing love and ability for my work. She herself, though not highly -educated, always created a lasting impression on all who really learnt -to know her, and displayed a peculiar combination of practical domestic -efficiency and keen intellectual animation. She never gave one of her -children any definite information concerning her antecedents. She came -from Weissenfels, and admitted that her parents had been bakers -[FOOTNOTE: According to more recent information--mill owners] there. -Even in regard to her maiden name she always spoke with some -embarrassment, and intimated that it was 'Perthes,' though, as we -afterwards ascertained, it was in reality 'Bertz.' Strange to say, she -had been placed in a high-class boarding-school in Leipzig, where she -had enjoyed the advantage of the care and interest of one of 'her -father's influential friends,' to whom she afterwards referred as being -a Weimar prince who had been very kind to her family in Weissenfels. -Her education in that establishment seems to have been interrupted on -account of the sudden death of this 'friend.' She became acquainted -with my father at a very early age, and married him in the first bloom -of her youth, he also being very young, though he already held an -appointment. Her chief characteristics seem to have been a keen sense -of humour and an amiable temper, so we need not suppose that it was -merely a sense of duty towards the family of a departed comrade that -afterwards induced the admirable Ludwig Geyer to enter into matrimony -with her when she was no longer youthful, but rather that he was -impelled to that step by a sincere and warm regard for the widow of his -friend. A portrait of her, painted by Geyer during the lifetime of my -father, gives one a very favourable impression of what she must have -been. Even from the time when my recollection of her is quite distinct, -she always had to wear a cap owing to some slight affection of the -head, so that I have no recollection of her as a young and pretty -mother. Her trying position at the head of a numerous family (of which -I was the seventh surviving member), the difficulty of obtaining the -wherewithal to rear them, and of keeping up appearances on very limited -resources, did not conduce to evolve that tender sweetness and -solicitude which are usually associated with motherhood. I hardly ever -recollect her having fondled me. Indeed, demonstrations of affection -were not common in our family, although a certain impetuous, almost -passionate and boisterous manner always characterised our dealings. -This being so, it naturally seemed to me quite a great event when one -night I, fretful with sleepiness, looked up at her with tearful eyes as -she was taking me to bed, and saw her gaze back at me proudly and -fondly, and speak of me to a visitor then present with a certain amount -of tenderness. - -What struck me more particularly about her was the strange enthusiasm -and almost pathetic manner with which she spoke of the great and of the -beautiful in Art. Under this heading, however, she would never have let -me suppose that she included dramatic art, but only Poetry, Music, and -Painting. Consequently, she often even threatened me with her curse -should I ever express a desire to go on the stage. Moreover, she was -very religiously inclined. With intense fervour she would often give us -long sermons about God and the divine quality in man, during which, now -and again, suddenly lowering her voice in a rather funny way, she would -interrupt herself in order to rebuke one of us. After the death of our -stepfather she used to assemble us all round her bed every morning, -when one of us would read out a hymn or a part of the Church service -from the prayer-book before she took her coffee. Sometimes the choice -of the part to be read was hardly appropriate, as, for instance, when -my sister Clara on one occasion thoughtlessly read the 'Prayer to be -said in time of War,' and delivered it with so much expression that my -mother interrupted her, saying: 'Oh, stop! Good gracious me! Things are -not quite so bad as that. There's no war on at present!' - -In spite of our limited means we had lively and--as they appeared to my -boyish imagination--even brilliant evening parties sometimes. After the -death of my stepfather, who, thanks to his success as a portrait -painter, in the later years of his life had raised his income to what -for those days was a really decent total, many agreeable acquaintances -of very good social position whom he had made during this flourishing -period still remained on friendly terms with us, and would occasionally -join us at our evening gatherings. Amongst those who came were the -members of the Court Theatre, who at that time gave very charming and -highly entertaining parties of their own, which, on my return to -Dresden later on, I found had been altogether given up. - -Very delightful, too, were the picnics arranged between us and our -friends at some of the beautiful spots around Dresden, for these -excursions were always brightened by a certain artistic spirit and -general good cheer. I remember one such outing we arranged to -Loschwitz, where we made a kind of gypsy camp, in which Carl Maria von -Weber played his part in the character of cook. At home we also had -some music. My sister Rosalie played the piano, and Clara was beginning -to sing. Of the various theatrical performances we organised in those -early days, often after elaborate preparation, with the view of amusing -ourselves on the birthdays of our elders, I can hardly remember one, -save a parody on the romantic play of Sappho, by Grillparzer, in which -I took part as one of the singers in the crowd that preceded Phaon's -triumphal car. I endeavoured to revive these memories by means of a -fine puppet show, which I found among the effects of my late -stepfather, and for which he himself had painted some beautiful -scenery. It was my intention to surprise my people by means of a -brilliant performance on this little stage. After I had very clumsily -made several puppets, and had provided them with a scanty wardrobe made -from cuttings of material purloined from my sisters, I started to -compose a chivalric drama, in which I proposed to rehearse my puppets. -When I had drafted the first scene, my sisters happened to discover the -MS. and literally laughed it to scorn, and, to my great annoyance, for -a long time afterwards they chaffed me by repeating one particular -sentence which I had put into the mouth of the heroine, and which -was--Ich hore schon den Ritter trapsen ('I hear his knightly footsteps -falling'). I now returned with renewed ardour to the theatre, with -which, even at this time, my family was in close touch. Den Freischutz -in particular appealed very strongly to my imagination, mainly on -account of its ghostly theme. The emotions of terror and the dread of -ghosts formed quite an important factor in the development of my mind. -From my earliest childhood certain mysterious and uncanny things -exercised an enormous influence over me. If I were left alone in a room -for long, I remember that, when gazing at lifeless objects such as -pieces of furniture, and concentrating my attention upon them, I would -suddenly shriek out with fright, because they seemed to me alive. Even -during the latest years of my boyhood, not a night passed without my -waking out of some ghostly dream and uttering the most frightful -shrieks, which subsided only at the sound of some human voice. The most -severe rebuke or even chastisement seemed to me at those times no more -than a blessed release. None of my brothers or sisters would sleep -anywhere near me. They put me to sleep as far as possible away from the -others, without thinking that my cries for help would only be louder -and longer; but in the end they got used even to this nightly -disturbance. - -In connection with this childish terror, what attracted me so strongly -to the theatre--by which I mean also the stage, the rooms behind the -scenes, and the dressing-rooms--was not so much the desire for -entertainment and amusement such as that which impels the present-day -theatre-goers, but the fascinating pleasure of finding myself in an -entirely different atmosphere, in a world that was purely fantastic and -often gruesomely attractive. Thus to me a scene, even a wing, -representing a bush, or some costume or characteristic part of it, -seemed to come from another world, to be in some way as attractive as -an apparition, and I felt that contact with it might serve as a lever -to lift me from the dull reality of daily routine to that delightful -region of spirits. Everything connected with a theatrical performance -had for me the charm of mystery, it both bewitched and fascinated me, -and while I was trying, with the help of a few playmates, to imitate -the performance of Der Freischutz, and to devote myself energetically -to reproducing the needful costumes and masks in my grotesque style of -painting, the more elegant contents of my sisters' wardrobes, in the -beautifying of which I had often seen the family occupied, exercised a -subtle charm over my imagination; nay, my heart would beat madly at the -very touch of one of their dresses. - -In spite of the fact that, as I already mentioned, our family was not -given to outward manifestations of affection, yet the fact that I was -brought up entirely among feminine surroundings must necessarily have -influenced the development of the sensitive side of my nature. Perhaps -it was precisely because my immediate circle was generally rough and -impetuous, that the opposite characteristics of womanhood, especially -such as were connected with the imaginary world of the theatre, created -a feeling of such tender longing in me. - -Luckily these fantastic humours, merging from the gruesome into the -mawkish, were counteracted and balanced by more serious influences -undergone at school at the hands of my teachers and schoolfellows. Even -there, it was chiefly the weird that aroused my keenest interest. I can -hardly judge whether I had what would be called a good head for study. -I think that, in general, what I really liked I was soon able to grasp -without much effort, whereas I hardly exerted myself at all in the -study of subjects that were uncongenial. This characteristic was most -marked in regard to arithmetic and, later on, mathematics. In neither -of these subjects did I ever succeed in bringing my mind seriously to -bear upon the tasks that were set me. In the matter of the Classics, -too, I paid only just as much attention as was absolutely necessary to -enable me to get a grasp of them; for I was stimulated by the desire to -reproduce them to myself dramatically. In this way Greek particularly -attracted me, because the stories from Greek mythology so seized upon -my fancy that I tried to imagine their heroes as speaking to me in -their native tongue, so as to satisfy my longing for complete -familiarity with them. In these circumstances it will be readily -understood that the grammar of the language seemed to me merely a -tiresome obstacle, and by no means in itself an interesting branch of -knowledge. - -The fact that my study of languages was never very thorough, perhaps -best explains the fact that I was afterwards so ready to cease -troubling about them altogether. Not until much later did this study -really begin to interest me again, and that was only when I learnt to -understand its physiological and philosophical side, as it was revealed -to our modern Germanists by the pioneer work of Jakob Grimm. Then, when -it was too late to apply myself thoroughly to a study which at last I -had learned to appreciate, I regretted that this newer conception of -the study of languages had not yet found acceptance in our colleges -when I was younger. - -Nevertheless, by my successes in philological work I managed to attract -the attention of a young teacher at the Kreuz Grammar School, a Master -of Arts named Sillig, who proved very helpful to me. He often permitted -me to visit him and show him my work, consisting of metric translations -and a few original poems, and he always seemed very pleased with my -efforts in recitation. What he thought of me may best be judged perhaps -from the fact that he made me, as a boy of about twelve, recite not -only 'Hector's Farewell' from the Iliad, but even Hamlet's celebrated -monologue. On one occasion, when I was in the fourth form of the -school, one of my schoolfellows, a boy named Starke, suddenly fell -dead, and the tragic event aroused so much sympathy, that not only did -the whole school attend the funeral, but the headmaster also ordered -that a poem should be written in commemoration of the ceremony, and -that this poem should be published. Of the various poems submitted, -among which there was one by myself, prepared very hurriedly, none -seemed to the master worthy of the honour which he had promised, and he -therefore announced his intention of substituting one of his own -speeches in the place of our rejected attempts. Much distressed by this -decision, I quickly sought out Professor Sillig, with the view of -urging him to intervene on behalf of my poem. We thereupon went through -it together. Its well-constructed and well-rhymed verses, written in -stanzas of eight lines, determined him to revise the whole of it -carefully. Much of its imagery was bombastic, and far beyond the -conception of a boy of my age. I recollect that in one part I had drawn -extensively from the monologue in Addison's Cato, spoken by Cato just -before his suicide. I had met with this passage in an English grammar, -and it had made a deep impression upon me. The words: 'The stars shall -fade away, the sun himself grow dim with age, and nature sink in -years,' which, at all events, were a direct plagiarism, made Sillig -laugh--a thing at which I was a little offended. However, I felt very -grateful to him, for, thanks to the care and rapidity with which he -cleared my poem of these extravagances, it was eventually accepted by -the headmaster, printed, and widely circulated. - -The effect of this success was extraordinary, both on my schoolfellows -and on my own family. My mother devoutly folded her hands in -thankfulness, and in my own mind my vocation seemed quite a settled -thing. It was clear, beyond the possibility of a doubt, that I was -destined to be a poet. Professor Sillig wished me to compose a grand -epic, and suggested as a subject 'The Battle of Parnassus,' as -described by Pausanias. His reasons for this choice were based upon the -legend related by Pausanias, viz., that in the second century B.C. the -Muses from Parnassus aided the combined Greek armies against the -destructive invasion of the Gauls by provoking a panic among the -latter. I actually began my heroic poem in hexameter verse, but could -not get through the first canto. - -Not being far enough advanced in the language to understand the Greek -tragedies thoroughly in the original, my own attempts to construct a -tragedy in the Greek form were greatly influenced by the fact that -quite by accident I came across August Apel's clever imitation of this -style in his striking poems 'Polyidos' and 'Aitolier.' For my theme I -selected the death of Ulysses, from a fable of Hyginus, according to -which the aged hero is killed by his son, the offspring of his union -with Calypso. But I did not get very far with this work either, before -I gave it up. - -My mind became so bent upon this sort of thing, that duller studies -naturally ceased to interest me. The mythology, legends, and, at last, -the history of Greece alone attracted me. - -I was fond of life, merry with my companions, and always ready for a -joke or an adventure. Moreover, I was constantly forming friendships, -almost passionate in their ardour, with one or the other of my -comrades, and in choosing my associates I was mainly influenced by the -extent to which my new acquaintance appealed to my eccentric -imagination. At one time it would be poetising and versifying that -decided my choice of a friend; at another, theatrical enterprises, -while now and then it would be a longing for rambling and mischief. - -Furthermore, when I reached my thirteenth year, a great change came -over our family affairs. My sister Rosalie, who had become the chief -support of our household, obtained an advantageous engagement at the -theatre in Prague, whither mother and children removed in 1820, thus -giving up the Dresden home altogether. I was left behind in Dresden, so -that I might continue to attend the Kreuz Grammar School until I was -ready to go up to the university. I was therefore sent to board and -lodge with a family named Bohme, whose sons I had known at school, and -in whose house I already felt quite at home. With my residence in this -somewhat rough, poor, and not particularly well-conducted family, my -years of dissipation began. I no longer enjoyed the quiet retirement -necessary for work, nor the gentle, spiritual influence of my sisters' -companionship. On the contrary, I was plunged into a busy, restless -life, full of rough horseplay and of quarrels. Nevertheless, it was -there that I began to experience the influence of the gentler sex in a -manner hitherto unknown to me, as the grown-up daughters of the family -and their friends often filled the scanty and narrow rooms of the -house. Indeed, my first recollections of boyish love date from this -period. I remember a very beautiful young girl, whose name, if I am not -mistaken, was Amalie Hoffmann, coming to call at the house one Sunday. -She was charmingly dressed, and her appearance as she came into the -room literally struck me dumb with amazement. On other occasions I -recollect pretending to be too helplessly sleepy to move, so that I -might be carried up to bed by the girls, that being, as they thought, -the only remedy for my condition. And I repeated this, because I found, -to my surprise, that their attention under these circumstances brought -me into closer and more gratifying proximity with them. - -The most important event during this year of separation from my family -was, however, a short visit I paid to them in Prague. In the middle of -the winter my mother came to Dresden, and took me hack with her to -Prague for a week. Her way of travelling was quite unique. To the end -of her days she preferred the more dangerous mode of travelling in a -hackney carriage to the quicker journey by mail-coach, so that we spent -three whole days in the bitter cold on the road from Dresden to Prague. -The journey over the Bohemian mountains often seemed to be beset with -the greatest dangers, but happily we survived our thrilling adventures -and at last arrived in Prague, where I was suddenly plunged into -entirely new surroundings. - -For a long time the thought of leaving Saxony on another visit to -Bohemia, and especially Prague, had had quite a romantic attraction for -me. The foreign nationality, the broken German of the people, the -peculiar headgear of the women, the native wines, the harp-girls and -musicians, and finally, the ever present signs of Catholicism, its -numerous chapels and shrines, all produced on me a strangely -exhilarating impression. This was probably due to my craze for -everything theatrical and spectacular, as distinguished from simple -bourgeois customs. Above all, the antique splendour and beauty of the -incomparable city of Prague became indelibly stamped on my fancy. Even -in my own family surroundings I found attractions to which I had -hitherto been a stranger. For instance, my sister Ottilie, only two -years older than myself, had won the devoted friendship of a noble -family, that of Count Pachta, two of whose daughters, Jenny and -Auguste, who had long been famed as the leading beauties of Prague, had -become fondly attached to her. To me, such people and such a connection -were something quite novel and enchanting. Besides these, certain beaux -esprits of Prague, among them W. Marsano, a strikingly handsome and -charming man, were frequent visitors at our house. They often earnestly -discussed the tales of Hoffmann, which at that date were comparatively -new, and had created some sensation. It was now that I made my first -though rather superficial acquaintance with this romantic visionary, -and so received a stimulus which influenced me for many years even to -the point of infatuation, and gave me very peculiar ideas of the world. - -In the following spring, 1827, I repeated this journey from Dresden to -Prague, but this time on foot, and accompanied by my friend Rudolf -Bohme. Our tour was full of adventure. We got to within an hour of -Teplitz the first night, and next day we had to get a lift in a wagon, -as we had walked our feet sore; yet this only took us as far as -Lowositz, as our funds had quite run out. Under a scorching sun, hungry -and half-fainting, we wandered along bypaths through absolutely unknown -country, until at sundown we happened to reach the main road just as an -elegant travelling coach came in sight. I humbled my pride so far as to -pretend I was a travelling journeyman, and begged the distinguished -travellers for alms, while my friend timidly hid himself in the ditch -by the roadside. Luckily we decided to seek shelter for the night in an -inn, where we took counsel whether we should spend the alms just -received on a supper or a bed. We decided for the supper, proposing to -spend the night under the open sky. While we were refreshing ourselves, -a strange-looking wayfarer entered. He wore a black velvet skull-cap, -to which a metal lyre was attached like a cockade, and on his back he -bore a harp. Very cheerfully he set down his instrument, made himself -comfortable, and called for a good meal. He intended to stay the night, -and to continue his way next day to Prague, where he lived, and whither -he was returning from Hanover. - -My good spirits and courage were stimulated by the jovial manners of -this merry fellow, who constantly repeated his favourite motto, 'non -plus ultra.' We soon struck up an acquaintance, and in return for my -confidence, the strolling player's attitude to me was one of almost -touching sympathy. It was agreed that we should continue our journey -together next day on foot. He lent me two twenty-kreutzer pieces (about -ninepence), and allowed me to write my Prague address in his -pocket-book. I was highly delighted at this personal success. My -harpist grew extravagantly merry; a good deal of Czernosek wine was -drunk; he sang and played on his harp like a madman, continually -reiterating his 'non plus ultra' till at last, overcome with wine, he -fell down on the straw, which had been spread out on the floor for our -common bed. When the sun once more peeped in, we could not rouse him, -and we had to make up our minds to set off in the freshness of the -early morning without him, feeling convinced that the sturdy fellow -would overtake us during the day. But it was in vain that we looked out -for him on the road and during our subsequent stay in Prague. Indeed, -it was not until several weeks later that the extraordinary fellow -turned up at my mother's, not so much to collect payment of his loan, -as to inquire about the welfare of the young friend to whom that loan -had been made. - -The remainder of our journey was very fatiguing, and the joy I felt -when I at last beheld Prague from the summit of a hill, at about an -hour's distance, simply beggars description. Approaching the suburbs, -we were for the second time met by a splendid carriage, from which my -sister Ottilie's two lovely friends called out to me in astonishment. -They had recognised me immediately, in spite of my terribly sunburnt -face, blue linen blouse, and bright red cotton cap. Overwhelmed with -shame, and with my heart beating like mad, I could hardly utter a word, -and hurried away to my mother's to attend at once to the restoration of -my sunburnt complexion. To this task I devoted two whole days, during -which I swathed my face in parsley poultices; and not till then did I -seek the pleasures of society. When, on the return journey, I looked -back once more on Prague from the same hilltop, I burst into tears, -flung myself on the earth, and for a long time could not be induced by -my astonished companion to pursue the journey. I was downcast for the -rest of the way, and we arrived home in Dresden without any further -adventures. - -During the same year I again gratified my fancy for long excursions on -foot by joining a numerous company of grammar school boys, consisting -of pupils of several classes and of various ages, who had decided to -spend their summer holidays in a tour to Leipzig. This journey also -stands out among the memories of my youth, by reason of the strong -impressions it left behind. The characteristic feature of our party was -that we all aped the student, by behaving and dressing extravagantly in -the most approved student fashion. After going as far as Meissen on the -market-boat, our path lay off the main road, through villages with -which I was as yet unfamiliar. We spent the night in the vast barn of a -village inn, and our adventures were of the wildest description. There -we saw a large marionette show, with almost life-sized figures. Our -entire party settled themselves in the auditorium, where their presence -was a source of some anxiety to the managers, who had only reckoned on -an audience of peasants. Genovefa was the play given. The ceaseless -silly jests, and constant interpolations and jeering interruptions, in -which our corps of embryo-students indulged, finally aroused the anger -even of the peasants, who had come prepared to weep. I believe I was -the only one of our party who was pained by these impertinences, and in -spite of involuntary laughter at some of my comrades' jokes, I not only -defended the play itself, but also its original, simple-minded -audience. A popular catch-phrase which occurred in the piece has ever -since remained stamped on my memory. 'Golo' instructs the inevitable -Kaspar that, when the Count Palatine returns home, he must 'tickle him -behind, so that he should feel it in front' (hinten zu kitzeln, dass er -es vorne fuhle). Kaspar conveys Golo's order verbatim to the Count, and -the latter reproaches the unmasked rogue in the following terms, -uttered with the greatest pathos: 'O Golo, Golo! thou hast told Kaspar -to tickle me behind, so that I shall feel it in front!' - -From Grimma our party rode into Leipzig in open carriages, but not -until we had first carefully removed all the outward emblems of the -undergraduate, lest the local students we were likely to meet might -make us rue our presumption. - -Since my first visit, when I was eight years old, I had only once -returned to Leipzig, and then for a very brief stay, and under -circumstances very similar to those of the earlier visit. I now renewed -my fantastic impressions of the Thome house, but this time, owing to my -more advanced education, I looked forward to more intelligent -intercourse with my uncle Adolph. An opening for this was soon provided -by my joyous astonishment on learning that a bookcase in the large -anteroom, containing a goodly collection of books, was my property, -having been left me by my father. I went through the books with my -uncle, selected at once a number of Latin authors in the handsome -Zweibruck edition, along with sundry attractive looking works of poetry -and belles-lettres, and arranged for them to be sent to Dresden. During -this visit I was very much interested in the life of the students. In -addition to my impressions of the theatre and of Prague, now came those -of the so-called swaggering undergraduate. A great change had taken -place in this class. When, as a lad of eight, I had my first glimpse of -students, their long hair, their old German costume with the black -velvet skull-cap and the shirt collar turned back from the bare neck, -had quite taken my fancy. But since that time the old student -'associations' which affected this fashion had disappeared in the face -of police prosecutions. On the other hand, the national student clubs, -no less peculiar to Germans, had become conspicuous. These clubs -adopted, more or less, the fashion of the day, but with some little -exaggeration. Albeit, their dress was clearly distinguishable from that -of other classes, owing to its picturesqueness, and especially its -display of the various club-colours. The 'Comment,' that compendium of -pedantic rules of conduct for the preservation of a defiant and -exclusive esprit de corps, as opposed to the bourgeois classes, had its -fantastic side, just as the most philistine peculiarities of the -Germans have, if you probe them deeply enough. To me it represented the -idea of emancipation from the yoke of school and family. The longing to -become a student coincided unfortunately with my growing dislike for -drier studies and with my ever-increasing fondness for cultivating -romantic poetry. The results of this soon showed themselves in my -resolute attempts to make a change. - -At the time of my confirmation, at Easter, 1827, I had considerable -doubt about this ceremony, and I already felt a serious falling off of -my reverence for religious observances. The boy who, not many years -before, had gazed with agonised sympathy on the altarpiece in the Kreuz -Kirche (Church of the Holy Cross), and had yearned with ecstatic -fervour to hang upon the Cross in place of the Saviour, had now so far -lost his veneration for the clergyman, whose preparatory confirmation -classes he attended, as to be quite ready to make fun of him, and even -to join with his comrades in withholding part of his class fees, and -spending the money in sweets. How matters stood with me spiritually was -revealed to me, almost to my horror, at the Communion service, when I -walked in procession with my fellow-communicants to the altar to the -sound of organ and choir. The shudder with which I received the Bread -and Wine was so ineffaceably stamped on my memory, that I never again -partook of the Communion, lest I should do so with levity. To avoid -this was all the easier for me, seeing that among Protestants such -participation is not compulsory. - -I soon, however, seized, or rather created, an opportunity of forcing a -breach with the Kreuz Grammar School, and thus compelled my family to -let me go to Leipzig. In self-defence against what I considered an -unjust punishment with which I was threatened by the assistant -headmaster, Baumgarten-Crusius, for whom I otherwise had great respect, -I asked to be discharged immediately from the school on the ground of -sudden summons to join my family in Leipzig. I had already left the -Bohme household three months before, and now lived alone in a small -garret, where I was waited on by the widow of a court plate-washer, who -at every meal served up the familiar thin Saxon coffee as almost my -sole nourishment. In this attic I did little else but write verses. -Here, too, I formed the first outlines of that stupendous tragedy which -afterwards filled my family with such consternation. The irregular -habits I acquired through this premature domestic independence induced -my anxious mother to consent very readily to my removal to Leipzig, the -more so as a part of our scattered family had already migrated there. - -My longing for Leipzig, originally aroused by the fantastic impressions -I had gained there, and later by my enthusiasm for a student's life, -had recently been still further stimulated. I had seen scarcely -anything of my sister Louisa, at that time a girl of about twenty-two, -as she had gone to the theatre of Breslau shortly after our -stepfather's death. Quite recently she had been in Dresden for a few -days on her way to Leipzig, having accepted an engagement at the -theatre there. This meeting with my almost unknown sister, her hearty -manifestations of joy at seeing me again, as well as her sprightly, -merry disposition, quite won my heart. To live with her seemed an -alluring prospect, especially as my mother and Ottilie had joined her -for a while. For the first time a sister had treated me with some -tenderness. When at last I reached Leipzig at Christmas in the same -year (1827), and there found my mother with Ottilie and Cecilia (my -half-sister), I fancied myself in heaven. Great changes, however, had -already taken place. Louisa was betrothed to a respected and well-to-do -bookseller, Friedrich Brockhaus. This gathering together of the -relatives of the penniless bride-elect did not seem to trouble her -remarkably kind-hearted fiance. But my sister may have become uneasy on -the subject, for she soon gave me to understand that she was not taking -it quite in good part. Her desire to secure an entree into the higher -social circles of bourgeois life naturally produced a marked change in -her manner, at one time so full of fun, and of this I gradually became -so keenly sensible that finally we were estranged for a time. Moreover, -I unfortunately gave her good cause to reprove my conduct. After I got -to Leipzig I quite gave up my studies and all regular school work, -probably owing to the arbitrary and pedantic system in vogue at the -school there. - -In Leipzig there were two higher-class schools, one called St. Thomas's -School, and the other, and the more modern, St. Nicholas's School. The -latter at that time enjoyed a better reputation than the former; so -there I had to go. But the council of teachers before whom I appeared -for my entrance examination at the New Year (1828) thought fit to -maintain the dignity of their school by placing me for a time in the -upper third form, whereas at the Kreuz Grammar School in Dresden I had -been in the second form. My disgust at having to lay aside my -Homer--from which I had already made written translations of twelve -songs--and take up the lighter Greek prose writers was indescribable. -It hurt my feelings so deeply, and so influenced my behaviour, that I -never made a friend of any teacher in the school. The unsympathetic -treatment I met with made me all the more obstinate, and various other -circumstances in my position only added to this feeling. While student -life, as I saw it day by day, inspired me ever more and more with its -rebellious spirit, I unexpectedly met with another cause for despising -the dry monotony of school regime. I refer to the influence of my -uncle, Adolph Wagner, which, though he was long unconscious of it, went -a long way towards moulding the growing stripling that I then was. - -The fact that my romantic tastes were not based solely on a tendency to -superficial amusement was shown by my ardent attachment to this learned -relative. In his manner and conversation he was certainly very -attractive; the many-sidedness of his knowledge, which embraced not -only philology but also philosophy and general poetic literature, -rendered intercourse with him a most entertaining pastime, as all those -who knew him used to admit. On the other hand, the fact that he was -denied the gift of writing with equal charm, or clearness, was a -singular defect which seriously lessened his influence upon the -literary world, and, in fact, often made him appear ridiculous, as in a -written argument he would perpetrate the most pompous and involved -sentences. This weakness could not have alarmed me, because in the hazy -period of my youth the more incomprehensible any literary extravagance -was, the more I admired it; besides which, I had more experience of his -conversation than of his writings. He also seemed to find pleasure in -associating with the lad who could listen with so much heart and soul. -Yet unfortunately, possibly in the fervour of his discourses, of which -he was not a little proud, he forgot that their substance, as well as -their form, was far above my youthful powers of comprehension. I called -daily to accompany him on his constitutional walk beyond the city -gates, and I shrewdly suspect that we often provoked the smiles of -those passers-by who overheard the profound and often earnest -discussions between us. The subjects generally ranged over everything -serious or sublime throughout the whole realm of knowledge. I took the -most enthusiastic interest in his copious library, and tasted eagerly -of almost all branches of literature, without really grounding myself -in any one of them. - -My uncle was delighted to find in me a very willing listener to his -recital of classic tragedies. He had made a translation of Oedipus, -and, according to his intimate friend Tieck, justly flattered himself -on being an excellent reader. - -I remember once, when he was sitting at his desk reading out a Greek -tragedy to me, it did not annoy him when I fell fast asleep, and he -afterwards pretended he had not noticed it. I was also induced to spend -my evenings with him, owing to the friendly and genial hospitality his -wife showed me. A very great change had come over my uncle's life since -my first acquaintance with him at Jeannette Thome's. The home which he, -together with his sister Friederike, had found in his friend's house -seemed, as time went on, to have brought in its train duties that were -irksome. As his literary work assured him a modest income, he -eventually deemed it more in accordance with his dignity to make a home -of his own. A friend of his, of the same age as himself, the sister of -the aesthete Wendt of Leipzig, who afterwards became famous, was chosen -by him to keep house for him. Without saying a word to Jeannette, -instead of going for his usual afternoon walk he went to the church -with his chosen bride, and got through the marriage ceremonies as -quickly as possible; and it was only on his return that he informed us -he was leaving, and would have his things removed that very day. He -managed to meet the consternation, perhaps also the reproaches, of his -elderly friend with quiet composure; and to the end of his life he -continued his regular daily visits to 'Mam'selle Thome,' who at times -would coyly pretend to sulk. It was only poor Friederike who seemed -obliged at times to atone for her brother's sudden unfaithfulness. - -What attracted me in my uncle most strongly was his blunt contempt of -the modern pedantry in State, Church, and School, to which he gave vent -with some humour. Despite the great moderation of his usual views on -life, he yet produced on me the effect of a thorough free-thinker. I -was highly delighted by his contempt for the pedantry of the schools. -Once, when I had come into serious conflict with all the teachers of -the Nicolai School, and the rector of the school had approached my -uncle, as the only male representative of my family, with a serious -complaint about my behaviour, my uncle asked me during a stroll round -the town, with a calm smile as though he were speaking to one of his -own age, what I had been up to with the people at school. I explained -the whole affair to him, and described the punishment to which I had -been subjected, and which seemed to me unjust. He pacified me, and -exhorted me to be patient, telling me to comfort myself with the -Spanish proverb, un rey no puede morir, which he explained as meaning -that the ruler of a school must of necessity always be in the right. - -He could not, of course, help noticing, to his alarm, the effect upon -me of this kind of conversation, which I was far too young to -appreciate. Although it annoyed me one day, when I wanted to begin -reading Goethe's Faust, to hear him say quietly that I was too young to -understand it, yet, according to my thinking, his other conversations -about our own great poets, and even about Shakespeare and Dante, had -made me so familiar with these sublime figures that I had now for some -time been secretly busy working out the great tragedy I had already -conceived in Dresden. Since my trouble at school I had devoted all my -energies, which ought by rights to have been exclusively directed to my -school duties, to the accomplishment of this task. In this secret work -I had only one confidante, my sister Ottilie, who now lived with me at -my mother's. I can remember the misgivings and alarm which the first -confidential communication of my great poetic enterprise aroused in my -good sister; yet she affectionately suffered the tortures I sometimes -inflicted on her by reciting to her in secret, but not without emotion, -portions of my work as it progressed. Once, when I was reciting to her -one of the most gruesome scenes, a heavy thunderstorm came on. When the -lightning flashed quite close to us, and the thunder rolled, my sister -felt bound to implore me to stop; but she soon found it was hopeless, -and continued to endure it with touching devotion. - -But a more significant storm was brewing on the horizon of my life. My -neglect of school reached such a point that it could not but lead to a -rupture. Whilst my dear mother had no presentiment of this, I awaited -the catastrophe with longing rather than with fear. - -In order to meet this crisis with dignity I at length decided to -surprise my family by disclosing to them the secret of my tragedy, -which was now completed. They were to be informed of this great event -by my uncle. I thought I could rely upon his hearty recognition of my -vocation as a great poet on account of the deep harmony between us on -all other questions of life, science, and art. I therefore sent him my -voluminous manuscript, with a long letter which I thought would please -him immensely. In this I communicated to him first my ideas with regard -to the St. Nicholas's School, and then my firm determination from that -time forward not to allow any mere school pedantry to check my free -development. But the event turned out very different from what I had -expected. It was a great shock to them. My uncle, quite conscious that -he had been indiscreet, paid a visit to my mother and brother-in-law, -in order to report the misfortune that had befallen the family, -reproaching himself for the fact that his influence over me had not -always, perhaps, been for my good. To me he wrote a serious letter of -discouragement; and to this day I cannot understand why he showed so -small a sense of humour in understanding my bad behaviour. To my -surprise he merely said that he reproached himself for having corrupted -me by conversations unsuited to my years, but he made no attempt to -explain to me good-naturedly the error of my ways. - -The crime this boy of fifteen had committed was, as I said before, to -have written a great tragedy, entitled Leubald und Adelaide. - -The manuscript of this drama has unfortunately been lost, but I can -still see it clearly in my mind's eye. The handwriting was most -affected, and the backward-sloping tall letters with which I had aimed -at giving it an air of distinction had already been compared by one of -my teachers to Persian hieroglyphics. In this composition I had -constructed a drama in which I had drawn largely upon Shakespeare's -Hamlet, King Lear, and Macbeth, and Goethe's Gotz van Berlichingen. The -plot was really based on a modification of Hamlet, the difference -consisting in the fact that my hero is so completely carried away by -the appearance of the ghost of his father, who has been murdered under -similar circumstances, and demands vengeance, that he is driven to -fearful deeds of violence; and, with a series of murders on his -conscience, he eventually goes mad. Leubald, whose character is a -mixture of Hamlet and Harry Hotspur, had promised his father's ghost to -wipe from the face of the earth the whole race of Roderick, as the -ruthless murderer of the best of fathers was named. After having slain -Roderick himself in mortal combat, and subsequently all his sons and -other relations who supported him, there was only one obstacle that -prevented Leubald from fulfilling the dearest wish of his heart, which -was to be united in death with the shade of his father: a child of -Roderick's was still alive. During the storming of his castle the -murderer's daughter had been carried away into safety by a faithful -suitor, whom she, however, detested. I had an irresistible impulse to -call this maiden 'Adelaide.' As even at that early age I was a great -enthusiast for everything really German, I can only account for the -obviously un-German name of my heroine by my infatuation for -Beethoven's Adelaide, whose tender refrain seemed to me the symbol of -all loving appeals. The course of my drama was now characterised by the -strange delays which took place in the accomplishment of this last -murder of vengeance, the chief obstacle to which lay in the sudden -passionate love which arose between Leubald and Adelaide. I succeeded -in representing the birth and avowal of this love by means of -extraordinary adventures. Adelaide was once more stolen away by a -robber-knight from the lover who had been sheltering her. After Leubald -had thereupon sacrificed the lover and all his relations, he hastened -to the robber's castle, driven thither less by a thirst for blood than -by a longing for death. For this reason he regrets his inability to -storm the robber's castle forthwith, because it is well defended, and, -moreover, night is fast falling; he is therefore obliged to pitch his -tent. After raving for a while he sinks down for the first time -exhausted, but being urged, like his prototype Hamlet, by the spirit of -his father to complete his vow of vengeance, he himself suddenly falls -into the power of the enemy during a night assault. In the subterranean -dungeons of the castle he meets Roderick's daughter for the first time. -She is a prisoner like himself, and is craftily devising flight. Under -circumstances in which she produces on him the impression of a heavenly -vision, she makes her appearance before him. They fall in love, and fly -together into the wilderness, where they realise that they are deadly -enemies. The incipient insanity which was already noticeable in Leubald -breaks out more violently after this discovery, and everything that can -be done to intensify it is contributed by the ghost of his father, -which continually comes between the advances of the lovers. But this -ghost is not the only disturber of the conciliating love of Leubald and -Adelaide. The ghost of Roderick also appears, and according to the -method followed by Shakespeare in Richard III., he is joined by the -ghosts of all the other members of Adelaide's family whom Leubald has -slain. From the incessant importunities of these ghosts Leubald seeks -to free himself by means of sorcery, and calls to his aid a rascal -named Flamming. One of Macbeth's witches is summoned to lay the ghosts; -as she is unable to do this efficiently, the furious Leubald sends her -also to the devil; but with her dying breath she despatches the whole -crowd of spirits who serve her to join the ghosts of those already -pursuing him. Leubald, tormented beyond endurance, and now at last -raving mad, turns against his beloved, who is the apparent cause of all -his misery. He stabs her in his fury; then finding himself suddenly at -peace, he sinks his head into her lap, and accepts her last caresses as -her life-blood streams over his own dying body. - -I had not omitted the smallest detail that could give this plot its -proper colouring, and had drawn on all my knowledge of the tales of the -old knights, and my acquaintance with Lear and Macbeth, to furnish my -drama with the most vivid situations. But one of the chief -characteristics of its poetical form I took from the pathetic, -humorous, and powerful language of Shakespeare. The boldness of my -grandiloquent and bombastic expressions roused my uncle Adolph's alarm -and astonishment. He was unable to understand how I could have selected -and used with inconceivable exaggeration precisely the most extravagant -forms of speech to be found in Lear and Gotz von Berlichingen. -Nevertheless, even after everybody had deafened me with their laments -over my lost time and perverted talents, I was still conscious of a -wonderful secret solace in the face of the calamity that had befallen -me. I knew, a fact that no one else could know, namely, that my work -could only be rightly judged when set to the music which I had resolved -to write for it, and which I intended to start composing immediately. - -I must now explain my position with respect to music hitherto. For this -purpose I must go back to my earliest attempts in the art. In my family -two of my sisters were musical; the elder one, Rosalie, played the -piano, without, however, displaying any marked talent. Clara was more -gifted; in addition to a great deal of musical feeling, and a fine rich -touch on the piano, she possessed a particularly sympathetic voice, the -development of which was so premature and remarkable that, under the -tuition of Mieksch, her singing master, who was famous at that time, -she was apparently ready for the role of a prima donna as early as her -sixteenth year, and made her debut at Dresden in Italian opera as -'Cenerentola' in Rossini's opera of that name. Incidentally I may -remark that this premature development proved injurious to Clara's -voice, and was detrimental to her whole career. As I have said, music -was represented in our family by these two sisters. It was chiefly -owing to Clara's career that the musical conductor C. M. von Weber -often came to our house. His visits were varied by those of the great -male-soprano Sassaroli; and in addition to these two representatives of -German and Italian music, we also had the company of Mieksch, her -singing master. It was on these occasions that I as a child first heard -German and Italian music discussed, and learnt that any one who wished -to ingratiate himself with the Court must show a preference for Italian -music, a fact which led to very practical results in our family -council. Clara's talent, while her voice was still sound, was the -object of competition between the representatives of Italian and German -opera. I can remember quite distinctly that from the very beginning I -declared myself in favour of German opera; my choice was determined by -the tremendous impression made on me by the two figures of Sassaroli -and Weber. The Italian male-soprano, a huge pot-bellied giant, -horrified me with his high effeminate voice, his astonishing -volubility, and his incessant screeching laughter. In spite of his -boundless good-nature and amiability, particularly to my family, I took -an uncanny dislike to him. On account of this dreadful person, the -sound of Italian, either spoken or sung, seemed to my ears almost -diabolical; and when, in consequence of my poor sister's misfortune, I -heard them often talking about Italian intrigues and cabals, I -conceived so strong a dislike for everything connected with this nation -that even in much later years I used to feel myself carried away by an -impulse of utter detestation and abhorrence. - -The less frequent visits of Weber, on the other hand, seemed to have -produced upon me those first sympathetic impressions which I have never -since lost. In contrast to Sassaroli's repulsive figure, Weber's really -refined, delicate, and intellectual appearance excited my ecstatic -admiration. His narrow face and finely-cut features, his vivacious -though often half-closed eyes, captivated and thrilled me; whilst even -the bad limp with which he walked, and which I often noticed from our -windows when the master was making his way home past our house from the -fatiguing rehearsals, stamped the great musician in my imagination as -an exceptional and almost superhuman being. When, as a boy of nine, my -mother introduced me to him, and he asked me what I was going to be, -whether I wanted perhaps to be a musician, my mother told him that, -though I was indeed quite mad on Freischutz, yet she had as yet seen -nothing in me which indicated any musical talent. - -This showed correct observation on my mother's part; nothing had made -so great an impression on me as the music of Freischutz, and I tried in -every possible way to procure a repetition of the impressions I had -received from it, but, strange to say, least of all by the study of -music itself. Instead of this, I contented myself with hearing bits -from Freischutz played by my sisters. Yet my passion for it gradually -grew so strong that I can remember taking a particular fancy for a -young man called Spiess, chiefly because he could play the overture to -Freischutz, which I used to ask him to do whenever I met him. It was -chiefly the introduction to this overture which at last led me to -attempt, without ever having received any instruction on the piano, to -play this piece in my own peculiar way, for, oddly enough, I was the -only child in our family who had not been given music lessons. This was -probably due to my mother's anxiety to keep me away from any artistic -interests of this kind in case they might arouse in me a longing for -the theatre. - -When I was about twelve years old, however, my mother engaged a tutor -for me named Humann, from whom I received regular music lessons, though -only of a very mediocre description. As soon as I had acquired a very -imperfect knowledge of fingering I begged to be allowed to play -overtures in the form of duets, always keeping Weber as the goal of my -ambition. When at length I had got so far as to be able to play the -overture to Freischutz myself, though in a very faulty manner, I felt -the object of my study had been attained, and I had no inclination to -devote any further attention to perfecting my technique. - -Yet I had attained this much: I was no longer dependent for music on -the playing of others; from this time forth I used to try and play, -albeit very imperfectly, everything I wanted to know. I also tried -Mozart's Don Juan, but was unable to get any pleasure out of it, mainly -because the Italian text in the arrangement for the piano placed the -music in a frivolous light in my eyes, and much in it seemed to me -trivial and unmanly. (I can remember that when my sister used to sing -Zerlinen's ariette, Batti, batti, ben Masetto, the music repelled me, -as it seemed so mawkish and effeminate.) - -On the other hand, my bent for music grew stronger and stronger, and I -now tried to possess myself of my favourite pieces by making my own -copies. I can remember the hesitation with which my mother for the -first time gave me the money to buy the scored paper on which I copied -out Weber's Lutzow's Jagd, which was the first piece of music I -transcribed. - -Music was still a secondary occupation with me when the news of Weber's -death and the longing to learn his music to Oberon fanned my enthusiasm -into flame again. This received fresh impetus from the afternoon -concerts in the Grosser Garten at Dresden, where I often heard my -favourite music played by Zillmann's Town Band, as I thought, -exceedingly well. The mysterious joy I felt in hearing an orchestra -play quite close to me still remains one of my most pleasant memories. -The mere tuning up of the instruments put me in a state of mystic -excitement; even the striking of fifths on the violin seemed to me like -a greeting from the spirit world--which, I may mention incidentally, -had a very real meaning for me. When I was still almost a baby, the -sound of these fifths, which has always excited me, was closely -associated in my mind with ghosts and spirits. I remember that even -much later in life I could never pass the small palace of Prince -Anthony, at the end of the Ostra Allee in Dresden, without a shudder; -for it was there I had first heard the sound of a violin, a very common -experience to me afterwards. It was close by me, and seemed to my ears -to come from the stone figures with which this palace is adorned, some -of which are provided with musical instruments. When I took up my post -as musical conductor at Dresden, and had to pay my official visit to -Morgenroth, the President of the Concert Committee, an elderly -gentleman who lived for many years opposite that princely palace, it -seemed odd to find that the player of fifths who had so strongly -impressed my musical fancy as a boy was anything but a supernatural -spectre. And when I saw the well-known picture in which a skeleton -plays on his violin to an old man on his deathbed, the ghostly -character of those very notes impressed itself with particular force -upon my childish imagination. When at last, as a young man, I used to -listen to the Zillmann Orchestra in the Grosser Garten almost every -afternoon, one may imagine the rapturous thrill with which I drew in -all the chaotic variety of sound that I heard as the orchestra tuned -up: the long drawn A of the oboe, which seemed like a call from the -dead to rouse the other instruments, never failed to raise all my -nerves to a feverish pitch of tension, and when the swelling C in the -overture to Freischutz told me that I had stepped, as it were with both -feet, right into the magic realm of awe. Any one who had been watching -me at that moment could hardly have failed to see the state I was in, -and this in spite of the fact that I was such a bad performer on the -piano. - -Another work also exercised a great fascination over me, namely, the -overture to Fidelio in E major, the introduction to which affected me -deeply. I asked my sisters about Beethoven, and learned that the news -of his death had just arrived. Obsessed as I still was by the terrible -grief caused by Weber's death, this fresh loss, due to the decease of -this great master of melody, who had only just entered my life, filled -me with strange anguish, a feeling nearly akin to my childish dread of -the ghostly fifths on the violin. It was now Beethoven's music that I -longed to know more thoroughly; I came to Leipzig, and found his music -to Egmont on the piano at my sister Louisa's. After that I tried to get -hold of his sonatas. At last, at a concert at the Gewandthaus, I heard -one of the master's symphonies for the first time; it was the Symphony -in A major. The effect on me was indescribable. To this must be added -the impression produced on me by Beethoven's features, which I saw in -the lithographs that were circulated everywhere at that time, and by -the fact that he was deaf, and lived a quiet secluded life. I soon -conceived an image of him in my mind as a sublime and unique -supernatural being, with whom none could compare. This image was -associated in my brain with that of Shakespeare; in ecstatic dreams I -met both of them, saw and spoke to them, and on awakening found myself -bathed in tears. - -It was at this time that I came across Mozart's Requiem, which formed -the starting-point of my enthusiastic absorption in the works of that -master. His second finale to Don Juan inspired me to include him in my -spirit world. - -I was now filled with a desire to compose, as I had before been to -write verse. I had, however, in this case to master the technique of an -entirely separate and complicated subject. This presented greater -difficulties than I had met with in writing verse, which came to me -fairly easily. It was these difficulties that drove me to adopt a -career which bore some resemblance to that of a professional musician, -whose future distinction would be to win the titles of Conductor and -Writer of Opera. - -I now wanted to set Leubald und Adelaide to music, similar to that -which Beethoven wrote to Goethe's Egmont; the various ghosts from the -spirit world, who were each to display different characteristics, were -to borrow their own distinctive colouring from appropriate musical -accompaniment. In order to acquire the necessary technique of -composition quickly I studied Logier's Methode des Generalbasses, a -work which was specially recommended to me at a musical lending library -as a suitable text-book from which this art might be easily mastered. I -have distinct recollections that the financial difficulties with which -I was continually harassed throughout my life began at this time. I -borrowed Logier's book on the weekly payment system, in the fond hope -of having to pay for it only during a few weeks out of the savings of -my weekly pocket-money. But the weeks ran on into months, and I was -still unable to compose as well as I wished. Mr. Frederick Wieck, whose -daughter afterwards married Robert Schumann, was at that time the -proprietor of that lending library. He kept sending me troublesome -reminders of the debt I owed him; and when my bill had almost reached -the price of Logier's book I had to make a clean breast of the matter -to my family, who thus not only learnt of my financial difficulties in -general, but also of my latest transgression into the domain of music, -from which, of course, at the very most, they expected nothing better -than a repetition of Leubald und Adelaide. - -There was great consternation at home; my mother, sister, and -brother-in-law, with anxious faces, discussed how my studies should be -superintended in future, to prevent my having any further opportunity -for transgressing in this way. No one, however, yet knew the real state -of affairs at school, and they hoped I would soon see the error of my -ways in this case as I had in my former craze for poetry. - -But other domestic changes were taking place which necessitated my -being for some little time alone in our house at Leipzig during the -summer of 1829, when I was left entirely to my own devices. It was -during this period that my passion for music rose to an extraordinary -degree. I had secretly been taking lessons in harmony from G. Muller, -afterwards organist at Altenburg, an excellent musician belonging to -the Leipzig orchestra. Although the payment of these lessons was also -destined to get me into hot water at home later on, I could not even -make up to my teacher for the delay in the payment of his fees by -giving him the pleasure of watching me improve in my studies. His -teaching and exercises soon filled me with the greatest disgust, as to -my mind it all seemed so dry. For me music was a spirit, a noble and -mystic monster, and any attempt to regulate it seemed to lower it in my -eyes. I gathered much more congenial instruction about it from -Hoffmann's Phantasiestucken than from my Leipzig orchestra player; and -now came the time when I really lived and breathed in Hoffmann's -artistic atmosphere of ghosts and spirits. With my head quite full of -Kreissler, Krespel, and other musical spectres from my favourite -author, I imagined that I had at last found in real life a creature who -resembled them: this ideal musician in whom for a time I fancied I had -discovered a second Kreissler was a man called Flachs. He was a tall, -exceedingly thin man, with a very narrow head and an extraordinary way -of walking, moving, and speaking, whom I had seen at all those open-air -concerts which formed my principal source of musical education. He was -always with the members of the orchestra, speaking exceedingly quickly, -first to one and then the other; for they all knew him, and seemed to -like him. The fact that they were making fun of him I only learned, to -my great confusion, much later. I remember having noticed this strange -figure from my earliest days in Dresden, and I gathered from the -conversations which I overheard that he was indeed well known to all -Dresden musicians. This circumstance alone was sufficient to make me -take a great interest in him; but the point about him which attracted -me more than anything was the manner in which he listened to the -various items in the programme: he used to give peculiar, convulsive -nods of his head, and blow out his cheeks as though with sighs. All -this I regarded as a sign of spiritual ecstasy. I noticed, moreover, -that he was quite alone, that he belonged to no party, and paid no -attention to anything in the garden save the music; whereupon my -identification of this curious being with the conductor Kreissler -seemed quite natural. I was determined to make his acquaintance, and I -succeeded in doing so. Who shall describe my delight when, on going to -call on him at his rooms for the first time, I found innumerable -bundles of scores! I had as yet never seen a score. It is true I -discovered, to my regret, that he possessed nothing either by -Beethoven, Mozart, or Weber; in fact, nothing but immense quantities of -works, masses, and cantatas by composers such as Staerkel, Stamitz, -Steibelt, etc., all of whom were entirely unknown to me. Yet Flachs was -able to tell me so much that was good about them that the respect which -I felt for scores in general helped me to overcome my regret at not -finding anything by my beloved masters. It is true I learnt later that -poor Flachs had only come into the possession of these particular -scores through unscrupulous dealers, who had traded on his weakness of -intellect and palmed off this worthless music on him for large sums of -money. At all events, they were scores, and that was quite enough for -me. Flachs and I became most intimate; we were always seen going about -together--I, a lanky boy of sixteen, and this weird, shaky flaxpole. -The doors of my deserted home were often opened for this strange guest, -who made me play my compositions to him while he ate bread and cheese. -In return, he once arranged one of my airs for wind instruments, and, -to my astonishment, it was actually accepted and played by the band in -Kintschy's Swiss Chalet. That this man had not the smallest capacity to -teach me anything never once occurred to me; I was so firmly convinced -of his originality that there was no need for him to prove it further -than by listening patiently to my enthusiastic outpourings. But as, in -course of time, several of his own friends joined us, I could not help -noticing that the worthy Flachs was regarded by them all as a -half-witted fool. At first this merely pained me, but a strange -incident unexpectedly occurred which converted me to the general -opinion about him. Flachs was a man of some means, and had fallen into -the toils of a young lady of dubious character who he believed was -deeply in love with him. One day, without warning, I found his house -closed to me, and discovered, to my astonishment, that jealousy was the -cause. The unexpected discovery of this liaison, which was my first -experience of such a case, filled me with a strange horror. My friend -suddenly appeared to me even more mad than he really was. I felt so -ashamed of my persistent blindness that for some time to come I never -went to any of the garden concerts for fear I should meet my sham -Kreissler. - -By this time I had composed my first Sonata in D minor. I had also -begun a pastoral play, and had worked it out in what I felt sure must -be an entirely unprecedented way. - -I chose Goethe's Laune der Verliebten as a model for the form and plot -of my work. I scarcely even drafted out the libretto, however, but -worked it out at the same time as the music and orchestration, so that, -while I was writing out one page of the score, I had not even thought -out the words for the next page. I remember distinctly that following -this extraordinary method, although I had not acquired the slightest -knowledge about writing for instruments, I actually worked out a fairly -long passage which finally resolved itself into a scene for three -female voices followed by the air for the tenor. My bent for writing -for the orchestra was so strong that I procured a score of Don Juan, -and set to work on what I then considered a very careful orchestration -of a fairly long air for soprano. I also wrote a quartette in D major -after I had myself sufficiently mastered the alto for the viola, my -ignorance of which had caused me great difficulty only a short time -before, when I was studying a quartette by Haydn. - -Armed with these works, I set out in the summer on my first journey as -a musician. My sister Clara, who was married to the singer Wolfram, had -an engagement at the theatre at Magdeburg, whither, in characteristic -fashion, I set forth upon my adventure on foot. - -My short stay with my relations provided me with many experiences of -musical life. It was there that I met a new freak, whose influence upon -me I have never been able to forget. He was a musical conductor of the -name of Kuhnlein, a most extraordinary person. Already advanced in -years, delicate and, unfortunately, given to drink, this man -nevertheless impressed one by something striking and vigorous in his -expression. His chief characteristics were an enthusiastic worship of -Mozart and a passionate depreciation of Weber. He had read only one -book--Goethe's Faust--and in this work there was not a page in which he -had not underlined some passage, and made some remark in praise of -Mozart or in disparagement of Weber. It was to this man that my -brother-in-law confided the compositions which I had brought with me in -order to learn his opinion of my abilities. One evening, as we were -sitting comfortably in an inn, old Kuhnlein came in, and approached us -with a friendly, though serious manner. - -I thought I read good news in his features, but when my brother-in-law -asked him what he thought of my work, he answered quietly and calmly, -'There is not a single good note in it!' My brother-in-law, who was -accustomed to Kuhnlein's eccentricity, gave a loud laugh which -reassured me somewhat. It was impossible to get any advice or coherent -reasons for his opinion out of Kuhnlein; he merely renewed his abuse of -Weber and made some references to Mozart which, nevertheless, made a -deep impression upon me, as Kuhnlein's language was always very heated -and emphatic. - -On the other hand, this visit brought me a great treasure, which was -responsible for leading me in a very different direction from that -advised by Kuhnlein. This was the score of Beethoven's great Quartette -in E flat major, which had only been fairly recently published, and of -which my brother-in-law had a copy made for me. Richer in experience, -and in the possession of this treasure, I returned to Leipzig to the -nursery of my queer musical studies. But my family had now returned -with my sister Rosalie, and I could no longer keep secret from them the -fact that my connection with the school had been entirely suspended, -for a notice was found saying that I had not attended the school for -the last six months. As a complaint addressed by the rector to my uncle -about me had not received adequate attention, the school authorities -had apparently made no further attempts to exercise any supervision -over me, which I had indeed rendered quite impossible by absenting -myself altogether. - -A fresh council of war was held in the family to discuss what was to be -done with me. As I laid particular stress on my bent for music, my -relations thought that I ought, at any rate, to learn one instrument -thoroughly. My brother-in-law, Brockhaus, proposed to send me to -Hummel, at Weimar, to be trained as a pianist, but as I loudly -protested that by 'music' I meant 'composing,' and not 'playing an -instrument,' they gave way, and decided to let me have regular lessons -in harmony from Muller, the very musician from whom I had had -instruction on the sly some little while before, and who had not yet -been paid. In return for this I promised faithfully to go back to work -conscientiously at St. Nicholas's School. I soon grew tired of both. I -could brook no control, and this unfortunately applied to my musical -instruction as well. The dry study of harmony disgusted me more and -more, though I continued to conceive fantasias, sonatas, and overtures, -and work them out by myself. On the other hand, I was spurred on by -ambition to show what I could do at school if I liked. When the Upper -School boys were set the task of writing a poem, I composed a chorus in -Greek, on the recent War of Liberation. I can well imagine that this -Greek poem had about as much resemblance to a real Greek oration and -poetry, as the sonatas and overtures I used to compose at that time had -to thoroughly professional music. My attempt was scornfully rejected as -a piece of impudence. After that I have no further recollections of my -school. My continued attendance was a pure sacrifice on my side, made -out of consideration for my family: I did not pay the slightest -attention to what was taught in the lessons, but secretly occupied -myself all the while with reading any book that happened to attract me. - -As my musical instruction also did me no good, I continued in my wilful -process of self-education by copying out the scores of my beloved -masters, and in so doing acquired a neat handwriting, which in later -years has often been admired. I believe my copies of the C minor -Symphony and the Ninth Symphony by Beethoven are still preserved as -souvenirs. - -Beethoven's Ninth Symphony became the mystical goal of all my strange -thoughts and desires about music. I was first attracted to it by the -opinion prevalent among musicians, not only in Leipzig but elsewhere, -that this work had been written by Beethoven when he was already half -mad. It was considered the 'non plus ultra' of all that was fantastic -and incomprehensible, and this was quite enough to rouse in me a -passionate desire to study this mysterious work. At the very first -glance at the score, of which I obtained possession with such -difficulty, I felt irresistibly attracted by the long-sustained pure -fifths with which the first phrase opens: these chords, which, as I -related above, had played such a supernatural part in my childish -impressions of music, seemed in this case to form the spiritual keynote -of my own life. This, I thought, must surely contain the secret of all -secrets, and accordingly the first thing to be done was to make the -score my own by a process of laborious copying. I well remember that on -one occasion the sudden appearance of the dawn made such an uncanny -impression on my excited nerves that I jumped into bed with a scream as -though I had seen a ghost. The symphony at that time had not yet been -arranged for the piano; it had found so little favour that the -publisher did not feel inclined to run the risk of producing it. I set -to work at it, and actually composed a complete piano solo, which I -tried to play to myself. I sent my work to Schott, the publisher of the -score, at Mainz. I received in reply a letter saying 'that the -publishers had not yet decided to issue the Ninth Symphony for the -piano, but that they would gladly keep my laborious work,' and offered -me remuneration in the shape of the score of the great Missa Solemnis -in D, which I accepted with great pleasure. - -In addition to this work I practised the violin for some time, as my -harmony master very rightly considered that some knowledge of the -practical working of this instrument was indispensable for any one who -had the intention of composing for the orchestra. My mother, indeed, -paid the violinist Sipp (who was still playing in the Leipzig orchestra -in 1865) eight thalers for a violin (I do not know what became of it), -with which for quite three months I must have inflicted unutterable -torture upon my mother and sister by practising in my tiny little room. -I got so far as to play certain Variations in F sharp by Mayseder, but -only reached the second or third. After that I have no further -recollections of this practising, in which my family fortunately had -very good reasons of their own for not encouraging me. - -But the time now arrived when my interest in the theatre again took a -passionate hold upon me. A new company had been formed in my birthplace -under very good auspices. The Board of Management of the Court Theatre -at Dresden had taken over the management of the Leipzig theatre for -three years. My sister Rosalie was a member of the company, and through -her I could always gain admittance to the performances; and that which -in my childhood had been merely the interest aroused by a strange -spirit of curiosity now became a more deep-seated and conscious passion. - -Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Hamlet, the plays of Schiller, and to crown -all, Goethe's Faust, excited and stirred me deeply. The Opera was -giving the first performances of Marschner's Vampir and Templer und -Judin. The Italian company arrived from Dresden, and fascinated the -Leipzig audience by their consummate mastery of their art. Even I was -almost carried away by the enthusiasm with which the town was -over-whelmed, into forgetting the boyish impressions which Signor -Sassaroli had stamped upon my mind, when another miracle--which also -came to us from Dresden--suddenly gave a new direction to my artistic -feelings and exercised a decisive influence over my whole life. This -consisted of a special performance given by Wilhelmine -Schroder-Devrient, who at that time was at the zenith of her artistic -career, young, beautiful, and ardent, and whose like I have never again -seen on the stage. She made her appearance in Fidelio. - -If I look back on my life as a whole, I can find no event that produced -so profound an impression upon me. Any one who can remember that -wonderful woman at this period of her life must to some extent have -experienced the almost Satanic ardour which the intensely human art of -this incomparable actress poured into his veins. After the performance -I rushed to a friend's house and wrote a short note to the singer, in -which I briefly told her that from that moment my life had acquired its -true significance, and that if in days to come she should ever hear my -name praised in the world of Art, she must remember that she had that -evening made me what I then swore it was my destiny to become. This -note I left at her hotel, and ran out into the night as if I were mad. -In the year 1842, when I went to Dresden to make my debut with Rienzi, -I paid several visits to the kind-hearted singer, who startled me on -one occasion by repeating this letter word for word. It seemed to have -made an impression on her too, as she had actually kept it. - -At this point I feel myself obliged to acknowledge that the great -confusion which now began to prevail in my life, and particularly in my -studies, was due to the inordinate effect this artistic interpretation -had upon me. I did not know where to turn, or how to set about -producing something myself which might place me in direct contact with -the impression I had received, while everything that could not be -brought into touch with it seemed to me so shallow and meaningless that -I could not possibly trouble myself with it. I should have liked to -compose a work worthy of a Schroder-Devrient; but as this was quite -beyond my power, in my head-long despair I let all artistic endeavour -slide, and as my work was also utterly insufficient to absorb me, I -flung myself recklessly into the life of the moment in the company of -strangely chosen associates, and indulged in all kinds of youthful -excesses. - -I now entered into all the dissipations of raw manhood, the outward -ugliness and inward emptiness of which make me marvel to this day. My -intercourse with those of my own age had always been the result of pure -chance. I cannot remember that any special inclination or attraction -determined me in the choice of my young friends. While I can honestly -say that I was never in a position to stand aloof out of envy from any -one who was specially gifted, I can only explain my indifference in the -choice of my associates by the fact that through inexperience regarding -the sort of companionship that would be of advantage to me, I cared -only to have some one who would accompany me in my excursions, and to -whom I could pour out my feelings to my heart's content without caring -what effect it might have upon him. The result of this was that after a -stream of confidences to which my own excitement was the only response, -I at length reached the point when I turned and looked at my friend; to -my astonishment I generally found that there was no question of -response at all, and as soon as I set my heart on drawing something -from him in return, and urged him to confide in me, when he really had -nothing to tell, the connection usually came to an end and left no -trace on my life. In a certain sense my strange relationship with -Flachs was typical of the great majority of my ties in after-life. -Consequently, as no lasting personal bond of friendship ever found its -way into my life, it is easy to understand how delight in the -dissipations of student life could become a passion of some duration, -because in it individual intercourse is entirely replaced by a common -circle of acquaintances. In the midst of rowdyism and ragging of the -most foolish description, I remained quite alone, and it is quite -possible that these frivolities formed a protecting hedge round my -inmost soul, which needed time to grow to its natural strength and not -be weakened by reaching maturity too soon. - -My life seemed to break up in all directions; I had to leave St. -Nicholas's School at Easter 1830, as I was too deeply in disgrace with -the staff of masters ever to hope for any promotion in the University -from that quarter. It was now determined that I should study privately -for six months and then go to St. Thomas's School, where I should be in -fresh surroundings and be able to work up and qualify in a short time -for the University. My uncle Adolph, with whom I was constantly -renewing my friendship, and who also encouraged me about my music and -exercised a good influence over me in that respect, in spite of the -utter degradation of my life at that time, kept arousing in me an ever -fresh desire for scientific studies. I took private lessons in Greek -from a scholar, and read Sophocles with him. For a time I hoped this -noble poet would again inspire me to get a real hold on the language, -but the hope was vain. I had not chosen the right teacher, and, -moreover, his sitting-room in which we pursued our studies looked out -on a tanyard, the repulsive odour of which affected my nerves so -strongly that I became thoroughly disgusted both with Sophocles and -Greek. My brother-in-law, Brockhaus, who wanted to put me in the way of -earning some pocket-money, gave me the correcting of the proof-sheets -of a new edition he was bringing out of Becker's Universal History, -revised by Lobell. This gave me a reason for improving by private study -the superficial general instruction on every subject which is given at -school, and I thus acquired the valuable knowledge which I was destined -to have in later life of most of the branches of learning so -uninterestingly taught in class. I must not forget to mention that, to -a certain extent, the attraction exercised over me by this first closer -study of history was due to the fact that it brought me in eightpence a -sheet, and I thus found myself in one of the rarest positions in my -life, actually earning money; yet I should be doing myself an injustice -if I did not bear in mind the vivid impressions I now for the first -time received upon turning my serious attention to those periods of -history with which I had hitherto had a very superficial acquaintance. -All I recollect about my school days in this connection is that I was -attracted by the classical period of Greek history; Marathon, Salamis, -and Thermopylae composed the canon of all that interested me in the -subject. Now for the first time I made an intimate acquaintance with -the Middle Ages and the French Revolution, as my work in correcting -dealt precisely with the two volumes which contained these two periods. -I remember in particular that the description of the Revolution filled -me with sincere hatred for its heroes; unfamiliar as I was with the -previous history of France, my human sympathy was horrified by the -cruelty of the men of that day, and this purely human impulse remained -so strong in me that I remember how even quite recently it cost me a -real struggle to give any weight to the true political significance of -those acts of violence. - -How great, then, was my astonishment when one day the current political -events of the time enabled me, as it were, to gain a personal -experience of the sort of national upheavals with which I had come into -distant contact in the course of my proof-correcting. The special -editions of the Leipzig Gazette brought us the news of the July -Revolution in Paris. The King of France had been driven from his -throne; Lafayette, who a moment before had seemed a myth to me, was -again riding through a cheering crowd in the streets of Paris; the -Swiss Guards had once more been butchered in the Tuileries, and a new -King knew no better way of commending himself to the populace than by -declaring himself the embodiment of the Republic. Suddenly to become -conscious of living at a time in which such things took place could not -fail to have a startling effect on a boy of seventeen. The world as a -historic phenomenon began from that day in my eyes, and naturally my -sympathies were wholly on the side of the Revolution, which I regarded -in the light of a heroic popular struggle crowned with victory, and -free from the blemish of the terrible excesses that stained the first -French Revolution. As the whole of Europe, including some of the German -states, was soon plunged more or less violently into rebellion, I -remained for some time in a feverish state of suspense, and now first -turned my attention to the causes of these upheavals, which I regarded -as struggles of the young and hopeful against the old and effete -portion of mankind. Saxony also did not remain unscathed; in Dresden it -came to actual fighting in the streets, which immediately produced a -political change in the shape of the proclamation of the regency of the -future King Frederick, and the granting of a constitution. This event -filled me with such enthusiasm that I composed a political overture, -the prelude of which depicted dark oppression in the midst of which a -strain was at last heard under which, to make my meaning clearer, I -wrote the words Friedrich und Freiheil; this strain was intended to -develop gradually and majestically into the fullest triumph, which I -hoped shortly to see successfully performed at one of the Leipzig -Garden Concerts. - -However, before I was able to develop my politico-musical conceptions -further, disorders broke out in Leipzig itself which summoned me from -the precincts of Art to take a direct share in national life. National -life in Leipzig at this time meant nothing more than antagonism between -the students and the police, the latter being the arch-enemy upon whom -the youthful love of liberty vented itself. Some students had been -arrested in a street broil who were now to be rescued. The -under-graduates, who had been restless for some days, assembled one -evening in the Market Place and the Clubs, mustered together, and made -a ring round their leaders. The whole proceeding was marked by a -certain measured solemnity, which impressed me deeply. They sang -Gaudeamus igitur, formed up into column, and picking up from the crowd -any young men who sympathised with them, marched gravely and resolutely -from the Market Place to the University buildings, to open the cells -and set free the students who had been arrested. My heart beat fast as -I marched with them to this 'Taking of the Bastille,' but things did -not turn out as we expected, for in the courtyard of the Paulinum the -solemn procession was stopped by Rector Krug, who had come down to meet -it with his grey head bared; his assurance that the captives had -already been released at his request was greeted with a thundering -cheer, and the matter seemed at an end. - -But the tense expectation of a revolution had grown too great not to -demand some sacrifice. A summons was suddenly spread calling us to a -notorious alley in order to exercise popular justice upon a hated -magistrate who, it was rumoured, had unlawfully taken under his -protection a certain house of ill-fame in that quarter. When I reached -the spot with the tail-end of the crowd, I found the house had been -broken into and all sorts of violence had been committed. I recall with -horror the intoxicating effect this unreasoning fury had upon me, and -cannot deny that without the slightest personal provocation I shared, -like one possessed, in the frantic onslaught of the undergraduates, who -madly shattered furniture and crockery to bits. I do not believe that -the ostensible motive for this outrage, which, it is true, was to be -found in a fact that was a grave menace to public morality, had any -weight with me whatever; on the contrary, it was the purely devilish -fury of these popular outbursts that drew me, too, like a madman into -their vortex. - -The fact that such fits of fury are not quick to abate, but, in -accordance with certain natural laws, reach their proper conclusion -only after they have degenerated into frenzy, I was to learn in my own -person. Scarcely did the summons ring out for us to march to another -resort of the same kind than I too found myself in the tide which set -towards the opposite end of the town. There the same exploits were -repeated, and the most ludicrous outrages perpetrated. I cannot -remember that the enjoyment of alcoholic drinks contributed to the -intoxication of myself and my immediate fellows. I only know that I -finally got into the state that usually succeeds a debauch, and upon -waking next morning, as if from a hideous nightmare, had to convince -myself that I had really taken part in the events of the previous night -by a trophy I possessed in the shape of a tattered red curtain, which I -had brought home as a token of my prowess. The thought that people -generally, and my own family in particular, were wont to put a lenient -construction upon youthful escapades was a great comfort to me; -outbursts of this kind on the part of the young were regarded as -righteous indignation against really serious scandals, and there was no -need for me to be afraid of owning up to having taken part in such -excesses. - -The dangerous example, however, which had been set by the -undergraduates incited the lower classes and the mob to similar -excesses on the following nights, against employers and any who were -obnoxious to them. The matter at once assumed a more serious -complexion; property was threatened, and a conflict between rich and -poor stood grinning at our doors. As there were no soldiers in the -town, and the police were thoroughly disorganised, the students were -called in as a protection against the lower orders. An undergraduate's -hour of glory now began, such as I could only have thirsted for in my -schoolboy dreams. The student became the tutelar deity of Leipzig, -called on by the authorities to arm and band together in defence of -property, and the same young men who two days before had yielded to a -rage for destruction, now mustered in the University courtyard. The -proscribed names of the students' clubs and unions were shouted by the -mouths of town councillors and chief constables in order to summon -curiously equipped undergraduates, who thereupon, in simple mediaeval -array of war, scattered throughout the town, occupied the guard-rooms -at the gates, provided sentinels for the grounds of various wealthy -merchants, and, as occasion demanded, took places which seemed -threatened, more especially inns, under their permanent protection. - -Though, unluckily, I was not yet a member of their body, I anticipated -the delights of academic citizenship by half-impudent, half-obsequious -solicitation of the leaders of the students whom I honoured most. I had -the good fortune to recommend myself particularly to these 'cocks of -the walk,' as they were styled, on account of my relationship to -Brockhaus, in whose grounds the main body of these champions were -encamped for some time. My brother-in-law was among those who had been -seriously threatened, and it was only owing to really great presence of -mind and assurance that he succeeded in saving his printing works, and -especially his steam presses, which were the chief object of attack, -from destruction. To protect his property against further assault, -detachments of students were told off to his grounds as well; the -excellent entertainment which the generous master of the house offered -his jovial guardians in his pleasant summer-house enticed the pick of -the students to him. My brother-in-law was for several weeks guarded -day and night against possible attacks by the populace, and on this -occasion, as the mediator of a flowing hospitality, I celebrated among -the most famous 'bloods' of the University the true saturnalia of my -scholarly ambition. - -For a still longer period the guarding of the gates was entrusted to -the students; the unheard-of splendour which accordingly became -associated with this post drew fresh aspirants to the spot from far and -near. Every day huge chartered vehicles discharged at the Halle Gate -whole bands of the boldest sons of learning from Halle, Jena, -Gottingen, and the remotest regions. They got down close to the guards -at the gate, and for several weeks never set foot in an inn or any -other dwelling; they lived at the expense of the Council, drew vouchers -on the police for food and drink, and knew but one care, that the -possibility of a general quieting of men's minds would make their -opportune guardianship superfluous. I never missed a day on guard or a -night either, alas! trying to impress on my family the urgent need for -my personal endurance. Of course, the quieter and really studious -spirits among us soon resigned these duties, and only the flower of the -flock of undergraduates remained so staunch that it became difficult -for the authorities to relieve them of their task. I held out to the -very last, and succeeded in making most astonishing friends for my age. -Many of the most audacious remained in Leipzig even when there was no -guard duty to fulfil, and peopled the place for some time with -champions of an extraordinarily desperate and dissipated type, who had -been repeatedly sent down from various universities for rowdyism or -debt, and who now, thanks to the exceptional circumstances of the day, -found a refuge in Leipzig, where at first they had been received with -open arms by the general enthusiasm of their comrades. - -In the presence of all these phenomena I felt as if I were surrounded -by the results of an earthquake which had upset the usual order of -things. My brother-in-law, Friedrich Brockhaus, who could justly taunt -the former authorities of the place with their inability to maintain -peace and order, was carried away by the current of a formidable -movement of opposition. He made a daring speech at the Guildhall before -their worships the Town Council, which brought him popularity, and he -was appointed second-in-command of the newly constituted Leipzig -Municipal Guard. This body at length ousted my adored students from the -guard-rooms of the town gates, and we no longer had the right of -stopping travellers and inspecting their passes. On the other hand, I -flattered myself that I might regard my new position as a boy citizen -as equivalent to that of the French National Guard, and my -brother-in-law, Brockhaus, as a Saxon Lafayette, which, at all events, -succeeded in furnishing my soaring excitement with a healthy stimulant. -I now began to read the papers and cultivate politics enthusiastically; -however, the social intercourse of the civic world did not attract me -sufficiently to make me false to my beloved academic associates. I -followed them faithfully from the guard-rooms to the ordinary bars, -where their splendour as men of the literary world now sought -retirement. - -My chief ambition was to become one of them as soon as possible. This, -however, could only be accomplished by being again entered at a grammar -school. St. Thomas's, whose headmaster was a feeble old man, was the -place where my wishes could be most speedily attained. - -I joined the school in the autumn of 1830 simply with the intention of -qualifying myself for the Leaving Examination by merely nominal -attendance there. The chief thing in connection with it was that I and -friends of the same bent succeeded in establishing a sham students' -association called the Freshman's Club. It was formed with all possible -pedantry, the institution of the 'Comment' was introduced, -fencing-practice and sword-bouts were held, and an inaugural meeting to -which several prominent students were invited, and at which I presided -as 'Vice' in white buckskin trousers and great jack-boots, gave me a -foretaste of the delights awaiting me as a full-blown son of the Muses. - -The masters of St. Thomas's, however, were not quite so ready to fall -in with my aspirations to studentship; at the end of the half-year they -were of the opinion that I had not given a thought to their -institution, and nothing could persuade them that I had earned a title -to academic citizenship by any acquisition of knowledge. Some sort of -decision was necessary, so I accordingly informed my family that I had -made up my mind not to study for a profession at the University, but to -become a musician. There was nothing to prevent me matriculating as -'Studiosus Musicae,' and, without therefore troubling myself about the -pedantries of the authorities at St. Thomas's, I defiantly quitted that -seat of learning from which I had derived small profit, and presented -myself forthwith to the rector of the University, whose acquaintance I -had made on the evening of the riot, to be enrolled as a student of -music. This was accordingly done without further ado, on the payment of -the usual fees. - -I was in a great hurry about it, for in a week the Easter vacation -would begin, and the 'men' would go down from Leipzig, when it would be -impossible to be elected member of a club until the vacation was over, -and to stay all those weeks at home in Leipzig without having the right -to wear the coveted colours seemed to me unendurable torture. Straight -from the rector's presence I ran like a wounded animal to the fencing -school, to present myself for admission to the Saxon Club, showing my -card of matriculation. I attained my object, I could wear the colours -of the Saxonia, which was in the fashion at that time, and in great -request because it numbered so many delightful members in its ranks. - -The strangest fate was to befall me in this Easter vacation, during -which I was really the only remaining representative of the Saxon Club -in Leipzig. In the beginning this club consisted chiefly of men of good -family as well as the better class elements of the student world; all -of them were members of highly placed and well-to-do families in Saxony -in general, and in particular from the capital, Dresden, and spent -their vacation at their respective homes. There remained in Leipzig -during the vacations only those wandering students who had no homes, -and for whom in reality it was always or never holiday time. Among -those a separate club had arisen of daring and desperate young -reprobates who had found a last refuge, as I said, at Leipzig in the -glorious period I have recorded. I had already made the personal -acquaintance of these swashbucklers, who pleased my fancy greatly, when -they were guarding the Brockhaus grounds. Although the regular duration -of a university course did not exceed three years, most of these men -had never left their universities for six or seven years. - -I was particularly fascinated by a man called Gebhardt, who was endowed -with extraordinary physical beauty and strength, and whose slim heroic -figure towered head and shoulders above all his companions. When he -walked down the street arm-in-arm with two of the strongest of his -comrades, he used suddenly to take it into his head, by an easy -movement of his arm, to lift his friends high in the air and flutter -along in this way as though he had a pair of human wings. When a cab -was going along the streets at a sharp trot, he would seize a spoke of -the wheel with one hand and force it to pull up. Nobody ever told him -that he was stupid because they were afraid of his strength, hence his -limitations were scarcely noticed. His redoubtable strength, combined -with a temperate disposition, lent him a majestic dignity which placed -him above the level of an ordinary mortal. He had come to Leipzig from -Mecklenburg in the company of a certain Degelow, who was as powerful -and adroit, though by no means of such gigantic proportions, as his -friend, and whose chief attraction lay in his great vivacity and -animated features, he had led a wild and dissipated life in which play, -drink, passionate love affairs, and constant and prompt duelling had -rung the changes. Ceremonious politeness, an ironic and pedantic -coldness, which testified to bold self-confidence, combined with a very -hot temper, formed the chief characteristics of this personage and -natures akin to his. Degelow's wildness and passion were lent a curious -diabolical charm by the possession of a malicious humour which he often -turned against himself, whereas towards others he exercised a certain -chivalrous tenderness. - -These two extraordinary men were joined by others who possessed all the -qualities essential to a reckless life, together with real and -headstrong valour. One of them, named Stelzer, a regular Berserker out -of the Nibelungenlied, who was nick-named Lope, was in his twentieth -term. While these men openly and consciously belonged to a world doomed -to destruction, and all their actions and escapades could only be -explained by the hypothesis that they all believed that inevitable ruin -was imminent, I made in their company the acquaintance of a certain -Schroter, who particularly attracted me by his cordial disposition, -pleasant Hanoverian accent, and refined wit. He was not one of the -regular young dare-devils, towards whom he adopted a calm observant -attitude, while they were all fond of him and glad to see him. I made a -real friend of this Schroter, although he was much older than I was. -Through him I became acquainted with the works and poems of H. Heine, -and from him I acquired a certain neat and saucy wit, and I was quite -ready to surrender myself to his agreeable influence in the hope of -improving my outward bearing. It was his company in particular that I -sought every day; in the afternoon I generally met him in the Rosenthal -or Kintschy's Chalet, though always in the presence of those wonderful -Goths who excited at once my alarm and admiration. - -They all belonged to university clubs which were on hostile terms with -the one of which I was a member. What this hostility between the -various clubs meant only those can judge who are familiar with the tone -prevalent among them in those days. The mere sight of hostile colours -sufficed to infuriate these men, who otherwise were kind and gentle, -provided they had taken the slightest drop too much. At all events, as -long as the old stagers were sober they would look with good-natured -complacency at a slight young fellow like me in the hostile colours -moving among them so amicably. Those colours I wore in my own peculiar -fashion. I had made use of the brief week during which my club was -still in Leipzig to become the possessor of a splendid 'Saxon' cap, -richly embroidered with silver, and worn by a man called Muller, who -was afterwards a prominent constable at Dresden. I had been seized with -such a violent craving for this cap that I managed to buy it from him, -as he wanted money to go home. In spite of this remarkable cap I was, -as I have said, welcome in the den of this band of rowdies: my friend -Schroter saw to that. It was only when the grog, which was the -principal beverage of these wild spirits, began to work that I used to -notice curious glances and overhear doubtful speeches, the significance -of which was for some time hidden from me by the dizziness in which my -own senses were plunged by this baneful drink. - -As I was inevitably bound on this account to be mixed up in quarrels -for some time to come, it afforded me a great satisfaction that my -first fight, as a matter of fact, arose from an incident more -creditable to me than those provocations which I had left half -unnoticed. One day Degelow came up to Schroter and me in a wine-bar -that we often frequented, and in quite a friendly manner confessed to -us confidentially his liking for a young and very pretty actress whose -talent Schroter disputed. Degelow rejoined that this was as it might -be, but that, for his part, he regarded the young lady as the most -respectable woman in the theatre. I at once asked him if he considered -my sister's reputation was not as good. According to students' notions -it was impossible for Degelow, who doubtless had not the remotest -intention of being insulting, to give me any assurance further than to -say that he certainly did not think my sister had an inferior -reputation, but that, nevertheless, he meant to abide by his assertion -concerning the young lady he had mentioned. Hereupon followed without -delay the usual challenge, opening with the words, 'You're an ass,' -which sounded almost ridiculous to my own ears when I said them to this -seasoned swashbuckler. - -I remember that Degelow too gasped with astonishment, and lightning -seemed to flash from his eyes; but he controlled himself in the -presence of my friend, and proceeded to observe the usual formalities -of a challenge, and chose broadswords (krumme Sabel) as the weapons for -the fight. The event made a great stir among our companions, but I saw -less reason than before to abstain from my usual intercourse with them. -Only I became more strict about the behaviour of the swashbucklers, and -for several days no evening passed without producing a challenge -between me and some formidable bully, until at last Count Solms, the -only member of my club who had returned to Leipzig as yet, visited me -as though he were an intimate friend and inquired into what had -occurred. He applauded my conduct, but advised me not to wear my -colours until the return of our comrades from the vacation, and to keep -away from the bad company into which I had ventured. Fortunately I had -not long to wait; university life soon began again, and the fencing -ground was filled. The unenviable position, in which, in student -phrase, I was suspended with a half-dozen of the most terrible -swordsmen, earned me a glorious reputation among the 'freshmen' and -'juniors,' and even among the older 'champions' of the Saxonia. - -My seconds were duly arranged, the dates for the various duels on hand -settled, and by the care of my seniors the needful time was secured for -me to acquire some sort of skill in fencing. The light heart with which -I awaited the fate which threatened me in at least one of the impending -encounters I myself could not understand at the time; on the other -hand, the way in which that fate preserved me from the consequences of -my rashness seems truly miraculous in my eyes to this day, and, worthy -of further description. - -The preparations for a duel included obtaining some experience of these -encounters by being present at several of them. We freshmen attained -this object by what is called 'carrying duty,' that is to say, we were -entrusted with the rapiers of the corps (precious weapons of honour -belonging to the association), and had to take them first to the -grinder and thence to the scene of encounter, a proceeding which was -attended with some danger, as it had to be done surreptitiously, since -duelling was forbidden by law; in return we acquired the right of -assisting as spectators at the impending engagements. - -When I had earned this honour, the meeting-place chosen for the duel I -was to watch was the billiard-room of an inn in the Burgstrasse; the -table had been moved to one side, and on it the authorised spectators -took their places. Among them I stood up with a beating heart to watch -the dangerous encounters between those doughty champions. I was told on -this occasion of the story of one of my friends (a Jew named Levy, but -known as Lippert), who on this very floor had given so much ground -before his antagonist that the door had to be opened for him, and he -fell back through it down the steps into the street, still believing he -was engaged in the duel. When several bouts had been finished, two men -came on to the 'pitch,' Tempel, the president of the Markomanen, and a -certain Wohlfart, an old stager, already in his fourteenth half-year of -study, with whom I also was booked for an encounter later on. When this -was the case, a man was not allowed to watch, in order that the weak -points of the duellist might not be betrayed to his future opponent. -Wohlfart was accordingly asked by my chiefs whether he wanted me -removed; whereupon he replied with calm contempt, 'Let them leave the -little freshman there, in God's name!' Thus I became an eye-witness of -the disablement of a swordsman who nevertheless showed himself so -experienced and skilful on the occasion that I might well have become -alarmed for the issue of my future encounter with him. His gigantic -opponent cut the artery of his right arm, which at once ended the -fight; the surgeon declared that Wohlfart would not be able to hold a -sword again for years, under which circumstances my proposed meeting -with him was at once cancelled. I do not deny that this incident -cheered my soul. - -Shortly afterwards the first general reunion of our club was held at -the Green Tap. These gatherings are regular hot-beds for the production -of duels. Here I brought upon myself a new encounter with one Tischer, -but learned at the same time that I had been relieved of two of my most -formidable previous engagements of the kind by the disappearance of my -opponents, both of whom had escaped on account of debt and left no -trace behind them. The only one of whom I could hear anything was the -terrible Stelzer, surnamed Lope. This fellow had taken advantage of the -passing of Polish refugees, who had at that time already been driven -over the frontier and were making their way through Germany to France, -to disguise himself as an ill-starred champion of freedom, and he -subsequently found his way to the Foreign Legion in Algeria. On the way -home from the gathering, Degelow, whom I was to meet in a few weeks, -proposed a 'truce.' This was a device which, if it was accepted, as it -was in this case, enabled the future combatants to entertain and talk -to one another, which was otherwise most strictly forbidden. We -wandered back to the town arm-in-arm; with chivalrous tenderness my -interesting and formidable opponent declared that he was delighted at -the prospect of crossing swords with me in a few weeks' time; that he -regarded it as an honour and a pleasure, as he was fond of me and -respected me for my valorous conduct. Seldom has any personal success -flattered me more. We embraced, and amid protestations which, owing to -a certain dignity about them, acquired a significance I can never -forget, we parted. He informed me that he must first pay a visit to -Jena, where he had an appointment to fight a duel. A week later the -news of his death reached Leipzig; he had been mortally wounded in the -duel at Jena. - -I felt as if I were living in a dream, out of which I was aroused by -the announcement of my encounter with Tischer. Though he was a -first-rate and vigorous fighter, he had been chosen by our chiefs for -my first passage of arms because he was fairly short. In spite of being -unable to feel any great confidence in my hastily acquired and little -practised skill in fencing, I looked forward to this my first duel with -a light heart. Although it was against the rules, I never dreamed of -telling the authorities that I was suffering from a slight rash which I -had caught at that time, and which I was informed made wounds so -dangerous that if it were reported it would postpone the meeting, in -spite of the fact that I was modest enough to be prepared for wounds. I -was sent for at ten in the morning, and left home smiling to think what -my mother and sisters would say if in a few hours I were brought back -in the alarming state I anticipated. My chief, Herr v. Schonfeld, was a -pleasant, quiet sort of man, who lived on the marsh. When I reached his -house, he leant out of the window with his pipe in his mouth, and -greeted me with the words: 'You can go home, my lad, it is all off; -Tischer is in hospital.' When I got upstairs I found several 'leading -men' assembled, from whom I learned that Tischer had got very drunk the -night before, and had in consequence laid himself open to the most -outrageous treatment by the inhabitants of a house of ill-fame. He was -terribly hurt, and had been taken by the police in the first instance -to the hospital. This inevitably meant rustication, and, above all, -expulsion from the academic association to which he belonged. - -I cannot clearly recall the incidents that removed from Leipzig the few -remaining fire-eaters to whom I had pledged myself since that fatal -vacation-time; I only know that this aide of my fame as a student -yielded to another. We celebrated the 'freshmen's gathering,' to which -all those who could manage it drove a four-in-hand in a long procession -through the town. After the president of the club had profoundly moved -me with his sudden and yet prolonged solemnity, I conceived the desire -to be among the very last to return home from the outing. Accordingly I -stayed away three days and three nights, and spent the time chiefly in -gambling, a pastime which from the first night of our festivity cast -its devilish snares around me. Some half-dozen of the smartest club -members chanced to be together at early dawn in the Jolly Peasant, and -forthwith formed the nucleus of a gambling club, which was reinforced -during the day by recruits coming back from the town. Members came to -see whether we were still at it, members also went away, but I with the -original six held out for days and nights without faltering. - -The desire that first prompted me to take part in the play was the wish -to win enough for my score (two thalers): this I succeeded in doing, -and thereupon I was inspired with the hope of being able to settle all -the debts I had made at that time by my winnings at play. Just as I had -hoped to learn composition most quickly by Logier's method, but had -found myself hampered in my object for a long period by unexpected -difficulties, so my plan for speedily improving my financial position -was likewise doomed to disappointment. To win was not such an easy -matter, and for some three months I was such a victim to the rage for -gambling that no other passion was able to exercise the slightest -influence over my mind. - -Neither the Fechtboden (where the students' fights were practised), nor -the beer-house, nor the actual scene of the fights, ever saw my face -again. In my lamentable position I racked my brains all day to devise -ways and means of getting the money wherewith to gamble at night. In -vain did my poor mother try everything in her power to induce me not to -come home so late at night, although she had no idea of the real nature -of my debauches: after I had left the house in the afternoon I never -returned till dawn the next day, and I reached my room (which was at -some distance from the others) by climbing over the gate, for my mother -had refused to give me a latch-key. - -In despair over my ill-luck, my passion for gambling grew into a -veritable mania, and I no longer felt any inclination for those things -which at one time had lured me to student life. I became absolutely -indifferent to the opinion of my former companions and avoided them -entirely; I now lost myself in the smaller gambling dens of Leipzig, -where only the very scum of the students congregated. Insensible to any -feeling of self-respect, I bore even the contempt of my sister Rosalie; -both she and my mother hardly ever deigning to cast a glance at the -young libertine whom they only saw at rare intervals, looking deadly -pale and worn out: my ever-growing despair made me at last resort to -foolhardiness as the only means of forcing hostile fate to my side. It -suddenly struck me that only by dint of big stakes could I make big -profits. To this end I decided to make use of my mother's pension, of -which I was trustee of a fairly large sum. That night I lost everything -I had with me except one thaler: the excitement with which I staked -that last coin on a card was an experience hitherto quite strange to my -young life. As I had had nothing to eat, I was obliged repeatedly to -leave the gambling table owing to sickness. With this last thaler I -staked my life, for my return to my home was, of course, out of the -question. Already I saw myself in the grey dawn, a prodigal son, -fleeing from all I held dear, through forest and field towards the -unknown. My mood of despair had gained so strong a hold upon me that, -when my card won, I immediately placed all the money on a fresh stake, -and repeated this experiment until I had won quite a considerable -amount. From that moment my luck grew continuously. I gained such -confidence that I risked the most hazardous stakes: for suddenly it -dawned upon me that this was destined to be my last day with the cards. -My good fortune now became so obvious that the bank thought it wise to -close. Not only had I won back all the money I had lost, but I had won -enough to pay off all my debts as well. My sensations during the whole -of this process were of the most sacred nature: I felt as if God and -His angels were standing by my side and were whispering words of -warning and of consolation into my ears. - -Once more I climbed over the gate of my home in the early hours of the -morning, this time to sleep peacefully and soundly and to awake very -late, strengthened and as though born again. - -No sense of shame deterred me from telling my mother, to whom I -presented her money, the whole truth about this decisive night. I -voluntarily confessed my sin in having utilised her pension, sparing no -detail. She folded her hands and thanked God for His mercy, and -forthwith regarded me as saved, believing it impossible for me ever to -commit such a crime again. - -And, truth to tell, gambling had lost all fascination for me from that -moment. The world, in which I had moved like one demented, suddenly -seemed stripped of all interest or attraction. My rage for gambling had -already made me quite indifferent to the usual student's vanities, and -when I was freed from this passion also, I suddenly found myself face -to face with an entirely new world. - -To this world I belonged henceforth: it was the world of real and -serious musical study, to which I now devoted myself heart and soul. - -Even during this wild period of my life, my musical development had not -been entirely at a standstill; on the contrary, it daily became plainer -that music was the only direction towards which my mental tendencies -had a marked bent. Only I had got quite out of the habit of musical -study. Even now it seems incredible that I managed to find time in -those days to finish quite a substantial amount of composition. I have -but the faintest recollection of an Overture in C major (6/8 time), and -of a Sonata in B flat major arranged as a duet; the latter pleased my -sister Ottilie, who played it with me, so much that I arranged it for -orchestra. But another work of this period, an Overture in B flat -major, left an indelible impression on my mind on account of an -incident connected with it. This composition, in fact, was the outcome -of my study of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony in about the same degree as -Leubald und Adelaide was the result of my study of Shakespeare. I had -made a special point of bringing out the mystic meaning in the -orchestra, which I divided into three distinctly different and opposite -elements. I wanted to make the characteristic nature of these elements -clear to the score reader the moment he looked at it by a striking -display of colour, and only the fact that I could not get any green ink -made this picturesque idea impossible. I employed black ink for the -brass instruments alone, the strings were to have red and the wind -green ink. This extraordinary score I gave for perusal to Heinrich -Dorn, who was at that time musical director of the Leipzig theatre. He -was very young, and impressed me as being a very clever musician and a -witty man of the world, whom the Leipzig public made much of. - -Nevertheless, I have never been able to understand how he could have -granted my request to produce this overture. - -Some time afterwards I was rather inclined to believe with others, who -knew how much he enjoyed a good joke, that he intended to treat himself -to a little fun. At the time, however, he vowed that he thought the -work interesting, and maintained that if it were only brought out as a -hitherto unknown work by Beethoven, the public would receive it with -respect, though without understanding. - -It was the Christmas of the fateful year 1830; as usual, there would be -no performance at the theatre on Christmas Eve, but instead a concert -for the poor had been organised, which received but scant support. The -first item on the programme was called by the exciting title 'New -Overture'--nothing more! I had surreptitiously listened to the -rehearsal with some misgiving. I was very much impressed by the -coolness with which Dorn fenced with the apparent confusion which the -members of the orchestra showed with regard to this mysterious -composition. The principal theme of the Allegro was contained in four -bars; after every fourth bar, however, a fifth bar had been inserted, -which had nothing to do with the melody, and which was announced by a -loud bang on the kettle-drum on the second beat. As this drum-beat -stood out alone, the drummer, who continually thought he was making a -mistake, got confused, and did not give the right sharpness to the -accent as prescribed by the score. Listening from my hidden corner, and -frightened at my original intention, this accidentally different -rendering did not displease me. To my genuine annoyance, however, Dorn -called the drummer to the front and insisted on his playing the accents -with the prescribed sharpness. When, after the rehearsal, I told the -musical director of my misgivings about this important fact, I could -not get him to promise a milder interpretation of the fatal drum-beat; -he stuck to it that the thing would sound very well as it was. In spite -of this assurance my restlessness grew, and I had not the courage to -introduce myself to my friends in advance as the author of the 'New -Overture.' - -My sister Ottilie, who had already been forced to survive the secret -readings of Leubald und Adelaide, was the only person willing to come -with me to hear my work. It was Christmas Eve, and there was to be the -usual Christmas tree, presents, etc., at my brother-in-law's, Friedrich -Brockhaus, and both of us naturally wanted to be there. My sister, in -particular, who lived there, had a good deal to do with the -arrangements, and could only get away for a short while, and that with -great difficulty; our amiable relation accordingly had the carriage -ready for her so that she might get back more quickly. I made use of -this opportunity to inaugurate, as it were, my entree into the musical -world in a festive manner. The carriage drew up in front of the -theatre. Ottilie went into my brother-in-law's box, which forced me to -try and find a seat in the pit. I had forgotten to buy a ticket, and -was refused admission by the man at the door. Suddenly the tuning up of -the orchestra grew louder and louder, and I thought I should have to -miss the beginning of my work. In my anxiety I revealed myself to the -man at the door as the composer of the 'New Overture,' and in this way -succeeded in passing without a ticket. I pushed my way through to one -of the first rows of the pit, and sat down in terrible anxiety. - -The Overture began: after the theme of the 'black' brass instruments -had made itself heard with great emphasis, the 'red' Allegro theme -started, in which, as I have already mentioned, every fifth bar was -interrupted by the drum-beat from the 'black' world. What kind of -effect the 'green' theme of the wind instruments, which joined in -afterwards, produced upon the listeners, and what they must have -thought when 'black,' 'red,' and 'green' themes became intermingled, -has always remained a mystery to me, for the fatal drum-beat, brutally -hammered out, entirely deprived me of my senses, especially as this -prolonged and continually recurring effect now began to rouse, not only -the attention, but the merriment of the audience. I heard my neighbours -calculating the return of this effect; knowing the absolute correctness -of their calculation, I suffered ten thousand torments, and became -almost unconscious. At last I awoke from my nightmare when the -Overture, to which I had disdained to give what I considered a trite -ending, came to a standstill most unexpectedly. - -No phantoms like those in Hoffmann's Tales could have succeeded in -producing the extraordinary state in which I came to my senses on -noticing the astonishment of the audience at the end of the -performance. I heard no exclamations of disapproval, no hissing, no -remarks, not even laughter; all I saw was intense astonishment at such -a strange occurrence, which impressed them, as it did me, like a -horrible nightmare. The worst moment, however, came when I had to leave -the pit and take my sister home. To get up and pass through the people -in the pit was horrible indeed. Nothing, however, equalled the pain of -coming face to face with the man at the door; the strange look he gave -me haunted me ever afterwards, and for a considerable time I avoided -the pit of the Leipzig theatre. - -My next step was to find my sister, who had gone through the whole sad -experience with infinite pity; in silence we drove home to be present -at a brilliant family festivity, which contrasted with grim irony with -the gloom of my bewilderment. - -In spite of it all I tried to believe in myself, and thought I could -find comfort in my overture to the Braut von Messina, which I believed -to be a better work than the fatal one I had just heard. A -reinstatement, however, was out of the question, for the directors of -the Leipzig theatre regarded me for a long time as a very doubtful -person, in spite of Dorn's friendship. It is true that I still tried my -hand at sketching out compositions to Goethe's Faust, some of which -have been preserved to this day: but soon my wild student's life -resumed its sway and drowned the last remnant of serious musical study -in me. - -I now began to imagine that because I had become a student I ought to -attend the University lectures. From Traugott Krug, who was well known -to me on account of his having suppressed the student's revolt, I tried -to learn the first principles of philosophy; a single lesson sufficed -to make me give this up. Two or three times, however, I attended the -lectures on aesthetics given by one of the younger professors, a man -called Weiss. This perseverance was due to the interest which Weiss -immediately aroused in me. When I made his acquaintance at my uncle -Adolph's house, Weiss had just translated the metaphysics of Aristotle, -and, if I am not mistaken, dedicated them in a controversial spirit to -Hegel. - -On this occasion I had listened to the conversation of these two men on -philosophy and philosophers, which made a tremendous impression on me. -I remember that Weiss was an absent-minded man, with a hasty and abrupt -manner of speaking; he had an interesting and pensive expression which -impressed me immensely. I recollect how, on being accused of a want of -clearness in his writing and style, he justified himself by saying that -the deep problems of the human mind could not in any case be solved by -the mob. This maxim, which struck me as being very plausible, I at once -accepted as the principle for all my future writing. I remember that my -eldest brother Albert, to whom I once had to write for my mother, grew -so disgusted with my letter and style that he said he thought I must be -going mad. - -In spite of my hopes that Weiss's lectures would do me much good, I was -not capable of continuing to attend them, as my desires in those days -drove me to anything but the study of aesthetics. Nevertheless, my -mother's anxiety at this time on my behalf made me try to take up music -again. As Muller, the teacher under whom I had studied till that time, -had not been able to inspire me with a permanent love of study, it was -necessary to discover whether another teacher might not be better able -to induce me to do serious work. - -Theodor Weinlich, who was choirmaster and musical director at St. -Thomas's Church, held at that time this important and ancient post -which was afterwards occupied by Schicht, and before him by no less a -person than Sebastian Bach. By education he belonged to the old Italian -school of music, and had studied in Bologna under Pater Martini. He had -made a name for himself in this art by his vocal compositions, in which -his fine manner of treating the parts was much praised. He himself told -me one day that a Leipzig publisher had offered him a very substantial -fee if he would write for his firm another book of vocal exercises -similar to the one which had proved so profitable to his first -publisher. Weinlich told him that he had not got any exercises of the -kind ready at the moment, but offered him instead a new Mass, which the -publisher refused with the words: 'Let him who got the meat gnaw the -bones.' The modesty with which Weinlich told me this little story -showed how excellent a man he was. As he was in a very bad and weak -state of health when my mother introduced me to him, he at first -refused to take me as a pupil. But, after having resisted all -persuasions, he at last took pity on my musical education, which, as he -soon discovered from a fugue which I had brought with me, was -exceedingly faulty. He accordingly promised to teach me, on condition -that I should give up all attempts at composing for six months, and -follow his instructions implicitly. To the first part of my promise I -remained faithful, thanks to the vast vortex of dissipation into which -my life as a student had drawn me. - -When, however, I had to occupy myself for any length of time with -nothing but four-part harmony exercises in strictly rigorous style, it -was not only the student in me, but also the composer of so many -overtures and sonatas, that was thoroughly disgusted. Weinlich, too, -had his grievances against me, and decided to give me up. - -During this period I came to the crisis of my life, which led to the -catastrophe of that terrible evening at the gambling den. But an even -greater blow than this fearful experience awaited me when Weinlich -decided not to have anything more to do with me. Deeply humiliated and -miserable, I besought the gentle old man, whom I loved dearly, to -forgive me, and I promised him from that moment to work with unflagging -energy. One morning at seven o'clock Weinlich sent for me to begin the -rough sketch for a fugue; he devoted the whole morning to me, following -my work bar by bar with the greatest attention, and giving me his -valuable advice. At twelve o'clock he dismissed me with the instruction -to perfect and finish the sketch by filling in the remaining parts at -home. - -When I brought him the fugue finished, he handed me his own treatment -of the same theme for comparison. This common task of fugue writing -established between me and my good-natured teacher the tenderest of -ties, for, from that moment, we both enjoyed the lessons. I was -astonished how quickly the time flew. In eight weeks I had not only -gone through a number of the most intricate fugues, but had also waded -through all kinds of difficult evolutions in counterpoint, when one -day, on bringing him an extremely elaborate double fugue, he took my -breath away by telling me that after this there was nothing left for -him to teach me. - -As I was not aware of any great effort on my part, I often wondered -whether I had really become a well-equipped musician. Weinlich himself -did not seem to attach much importance to what he had taught me: he -said, 'Probably you will never write fugues or canons; but what you -have mastered is Independence: you can now stand alone and rely upon -having a fine technique at your fingers' ends if you should want it.' - -The principal result of his influence over me was certainly the growing -love of clearness and fluency to which he had trained me. I had already -had to write the above-mentioned fugue for ordinary voices; my feeling -for the melodious and vocal had in this way been awakened. In order to -keep me strictly under his calming and friendly influence, he had at -the same time given me a sonata to write which, as a proof of my -friendship for him, I had to build up on strictly harmonic and thematic -lines, for which he recommended me a very early and childlike sonata by -Pleyel as a model. - -Those who had only recently heard my Overture must, indeed, have -wondered how I ever wrote this sonata, which has been published through -the indiscretion of Messrs. Breitkopf and Hartel (to reward me for my -abstemiousness, Weinlich induced them to publish this poor -composition). From that moment he gave me a free hand. To begin with I -was allowed to compose a Fantasia for the pianoforte (in F sharp minor) -which I wrote in a quite informal style by treating the melody in -recitative form; this gave me intense satisfaction because it won me -praise from Weinlich. - -Soon afterwards I wrote three overtures which all met with his entire -approval. In the following winter (1831-1832) I succeeded in getting -the first of them, in D minor, performed at one of the Gewandhaus -concerts. - -At that time a very simple and homely tone reigned supreme in this -institution. The instrumental works were not conducted by what we call -'a conductor of the orchestra,' but were simply played to the audience -by the leader of the orchestra. As soon as the singing began, Pohlenz -took his place at the conductor's desk; he belonged to the type of fat -and pleasant musical directors, and was a great favourite with the -Leipzig public. He used to come on the platform with a very -important-looking blue baton in his hand. - -One of the strangest events which occurred at that time was the yearly -production of the Ninth Symphony of Beethoven; after the first three -movements had been played straight through like a Haydn symphony, as -well as the orchestra could manage it, Pohlenz, instead of having to -conduct a vocal quartette, a cantata, or an Italian aria, took his -place at the desk to undertake this highly complicated instrumental -work, with its particularly enigmatical and incoherent opening, one of -the most difficult tasks that could possibly be found for a musical -conductor. I shall never forget the impression produced upon me at the -first rehearsal by the anxiously and carefully played 3/4 time, and the -way in which the wild shrieks of the trumpet (with which this movement -begins) resulted in the most extraordinary confusion of sound. - -He had evidently chosen this tempo in order, in some way, to manage the -recitative of the double basses; but it was utterly hopeless. Pohlenz -was in a bath of perspiration, the recitative did not come off, and I -really began to think that Beethoven must have written nonsense; the -double bass player, Temmler, a faithful veteran of the orchestra, -prevailed upon Pohlenz at last, in rather coarse and energetic -language, to put down the baton, and in this way the recitative really -proceeded properly. All the same, I felt at this time that I had come -to the humble conclusion, in a way I can hardly explain, that this -extraordinary work was still beyond my comprehension. For a long time I -gave up brooding over this composition, and I turned my thoughts with -simple longing towards a clearer and calmer musical form. - -My study of counterpoint had taught me to appreciate, above all, -Mozart's light and flowing treatment of the most difficult technical -problems, and the last movement of his great Symphony in C major in -particular served me as example for my own work. My D minor Overture, -which clearly showed the influence of Beethoven's Coriolanus Overture, -had been favourably received by the public; my mother began to have -faith in me again, and I started at once on a second overture (in C -major), which really ended with a 'Fugato' that did more credit to my -new model than I had ever hoped to accomplish. - -This overture, also, was soon afterwards performed at a recital given -by the favourite singer, Mlle. Palazzesi (of the Dresden Italian -Opera). Before this I had already introduced it at a concert given by a -private musical society called 'Euterpe', when I had conducted it -myself. - -I remember the strange impression I received from a remark that my -mother made on that occasion; as a matter of fact this work, which was -written in a counterpoint style, without any real passion or emotion, -had produced a strange effect upon her. She gave vent to her -astonishment by warmly praising the Egmont Overture, which was played -at the same concert, maintaining that 'this kind of music was after all -more fascinating than any stupid fugue.' - -At this time I also wrote (as my third opus) an overture to Raupach's -drama, Konig Enzio, in which again Beethoven's influence made itself -even more strongly felt. My sister Rosalie succeeded in getting it -performed at the theatre before the play; for the sake of prudence they -did not announce it on the programme the first time. Dorn conducted it, -and as the performance went off all right, and the public showed no -dissatisfaction, my overture was played with my full name on the -programme several times during the run of the above-mentioned drama. - -After this I tried my hand at a big Symphony (in C major); in this work -I showed what I had learnt by using the influence of my study of -Beethoven and Mozart towards the achievement of a really pleasant and -intelligible work, in which the fugue was again present at the end, -while the themes of the various movements were so constructed that they -could be played consecutively. - -Nevertheless, the passionate and bold element of the Sinfonia Eroica -was distinctly discernible, especially in the first movement. The slow -movement, on the contrary, contained reminiscences of my former musical -mysticism. A kind of repeated interrogative exclamation of the minor -third merging into the fifth connected in my mind this work (which I -had finished with the utmost effort at clearness) with my very earliest -period of boyish sentimentality. - -When, in the following year, I called on Friedrich Rochlitz, at that -time the 'Nestor' of the musical aesthetes in Leipzig, and president of -the Gewandhaus, I prevailed upon him to promise me a performance of my -work. As he had been given my score for perusal before seeing me, he -was quite astonished to find that I was a very young man, for the -character of my music had prepared him to see a much older and more -experienced musician. Before this performance took place many things -happened which I must first mention, as they were of great importance -to my life. - -My short and stormy career as a student had drowned in me not only all -longing for further development, but also all interest in intellectual -and spiritual pursuits. Although, as I have pointed out, I had never -alienated myself entirely from music, my revived interest in politics -aroused my first real disgust for my senseless student's life, which -soon left no deeper traces on my mind than the remembrance of a -terrible nightmare. - -The Polish War of Independence against Russian supremacy filled me with -growing enthusiasm. The victories which the Poles obtained for a short -period during May, 1831, aroused my enthusiastic admiration: it seemed -to me as though the world had, by some miracle, been created anew. As a -contrast to this, the news of the battle of Ostrolenka made it appear -as if the end of the world had come. To my astonishment, my boon -companions scoffed at me when I commented upon some of these events; -the terrible lack of all fellow-feeling and comradeship amongst the -students struck me very forcibly. Any kind of enthusiasm had to be -smothered or turned into pedantic bravado, which showed itself in the -form of affectation and indifference. To get drunk with deliberate -cold-bloodedness, without even a glimpse of humour, was reckoned almost -as brave a feat as duelling. Not until much later did I understand the -far nobler spirit which animated the lower classes in Germany in -comparison with the sadly degenerate state of the University students. -In those days I felt terribly indignant at the insulting remarks which -I brought upon myself when I deplored the battle of Ostrolenka. - -To my honour be it said, that these and similar impressions helped to -make me give up my low associates. During my studies with Weinlich the -only little dissipation I allowed myself was my daily evening visit to -Kintschy, the confectioner in the Klostergasse, where I passionately -devoured the latest newspapers. Here I found many men who held the same -political views as myself, and I specially loved to listen to the eager -political discussions of some of the old men who frequented the place. -The literary journals, too, began to interest me; I read a great deal, -but was not very particular in my choice. Nevertheless, I now began to -appreciate intelligence and wit, whereas before only the grotesque and -the fantastic had had any attraction for me. - -My interest in the issue of the Polish war, however, remained -paramount. I felt the siege and capture of Warsaw as a personal -calamity. My excitement when the remains of the Polish army began to -pass through Leipzig on their way to France was indescribable, and I -shall never forget the impression produced upon me by the first batch -of these unfortunate soldiers on the occasion of their being quartered -at the Green Shield, a public-house in the Meat Market. Much as this -depressed me, I was soon roused to a high pitch of enthusiasm, for in -the lounge of the Leipzig Gewandhaus, where that night Beethoven's C -minor Symphony was being played, a group of heroic figures, the -principal leaders of the Polish revolution, excited my admiration. I -felt more particularly attracted by Count Vincenz Tyszkiewitcz, a man -of exceptionally powerful physique and noble appearance, who impressed -me by his dignified and aristocratic manner and his quiet -self-reliance--qualities with which I had not met before. When I saw a -man of such kingly bearing in a tight-fitting coat and red velvet cap, -I at once realised my foolishness in ever having worshipped the -ludicrously dressed up little heroes of our students' world. I was -delighted to meet this gentleman again at the house of my -brother-in-law, Friedrich Brockhaus, where I saw him frequently. - -My brother-in-law had the greatest pity and sympathy for the Polish -rebels, and was the president of a committee whose task it was to look -after their interests, and for a long time he made many personal -sacrifices for their cause. - -The Brockhaus establishment now became tremendously attractive to me. -Around Count Vincenz Tyszkiewitcz, who remained the lodestar of this -small Polish world, gathered a great many other wealthy exiles, amongst -whom I chiefly remember a cavalry captain of the name of Bansemer, a -man of unlimited kindness, but of a rather frivolous nature; he -possessed a marvellous team of four horses which he drove at such -breakneck speed as to cause great annoyance to the people of Leipzig. -Another man of importance with whom I remember dining was General Bem, -whose artillery had made such a gallant stand at Ostrolenka. - -Many other exiles passed through this hospitable house, some of whom -impressed us by their melancholy, warlike bearing, others by their -refined behaviour. Vincenz Tyszkiewitcz, however, remained my ideal of -a true man, and I loved him with a profound adoration. He, too, began -to be interested in me; I used to call upon him nearly every day, and -was sometimes present at a sort of martial feast, from which he often -withdrew in order to be able to open his heart to me about the -anxieties which oppressed him. He had, in fact, received absolutely no -news of the whereabouts of his wife and little son since they separated -at Volhynien. Besides this, he was under the shadow of a great sorrow -which drew all sympathetic natures to him. To my sister Louise he had -confided the terrible calamity that had once befallen him. He had been -married before, and while staying with his wife in one of his lonely -castles, in the dead of night he had seen a ghostly apparition at the -window of his bedroom. Hearing his name called several times, he had -taken up a revolver to protect himself from possible danger, and had -shot his own wife, who had had the eccentric idea of teasing him by -pretending to be a ghost. I had the pleasure of sharing his joy on -hearing that his family was safe. His wife joined him in Leipzig with -their beautiful boy, Janusz. I felt sorry not to be able to feel the -same sympathy for this lady as I did for her husband; perhaps one of -the reasons of my antipathy was the obvious and conspicuous way in -which she made herself up, by means of which the poor woman probably -tried to hide how much her beauty had suffered through the terrible -strain of the past events. She soon went back to Galicia to try and -save what she could of their property, and also to provide her husband -with a pass from the Austrian Government, by means of which he could -follow her. - -Then came the third of May. Eighteen of the Poles who were still in -Leipzig met together at a festive dinner in a hotel outside the town; -on this day was to be celebrated the first anniversary of the third of -May, so dear to the memory of the Poles. Only the chiefs of the Leipzig -Polish Committee received invitations, and as a special favour I also -was asked. I shall never forget that occasion. The dinner became an -orgy; throughout the evening a brass band from the town played Polish -folksongs, and these were sung by the whole company, led by a -Lithuanian called Zan, in a manner now triumphant and now mournful. The -beautiful 'Third of May' song more particularly drew forth a positive -uproar of enthusiasm. Tears and shouts of joy grew into a terrible -tumult; the excited men grouped themselves on the grass swearing -eternal friendship in the most extravagant terms, for which the word -'Oiczisna' (Fatherland) provided the principal theme, until at last -night threw her veil over this wild debauch. - -That evening afterwards served me as the theme for an orchestral -composition (in the form of an overture) named Polonia; I shall recount -the fate of this work later on. My friend Tyszkiewitcz's passport now -arrived, and he made up his mind to go back to Galicia via Brunn, -although his friends considered it was very rash of him to do so. I -very much wanted to see something of the world, and Tyszkiewitcz's -offer to take me with him, induced my mother to consent to my going to -Vienna, a place that I had long wished to visit. I took with me the -scores of my three overtures which had already been performed, and also -that of my great symphony as yet unproduced, and had a grand time with -my Polish patron, who took me in his luxurious travelling-coach as far -as the capital of Moravia. During a short stop at Dresden the exiles of -all classes gave our beloved Count a friendly farewell dinner in Pirna, -at which the champagne flowed freely, while the health was drunk of the -future 'Dictator of Poland.' - -At last we separated at Brunn, from which place I continued my journey -to Vienna by coach. During the afternoon and night, which I was obliged -to spend in Brunn by myself, I went through terrible agonies from fear -of the cholera which, as I unexpectedly heard, had broken out in this -place. There I was all alone in a strange place, my faithful friend -just departed, and on hearing of the epidemic I felt as if a malicious -demon had caught me in his snare in order to annihilate me. I did not -betray my terror to the people in the hotel, but when I was shown into -a very lonely wing of the house and left by myself in this wilderness, -I hid myself in bed with my clothes on, and lived once again through -all the horrors of ghost stories as I had done in my boyhood. The -cholera stood before me like a living thing; I could see and touch it; -it lay in my bed and embraced me. My limbs turned to ice, I felt frozen -to the very marrow. Whether I was awake or asleep I never knew; I only -remember how astonished I was when, on awakening, I felt thoroughly -well and healthy. - -At last I arrived in Vienna, where I escaped the epidemic which had -penetrated as far as that town. It was midsummer of the year 1832. -Owing to the introductions I had with me, I found myself very much at -home in this lively city, in which I made a pleasant stay of six weeks. -As my sojourn, however, had no really practical purpose, my mother -looked upon the cost of this holiday, short as it seemed, as an -unnecessary extravagance on my part. I visited the theatres, heard -Strauss, made excursions, and altogether had a very good time. I am -afraid I contracted a few debts as well, which I paid off later on when -I was conductor of the Dresden orchestra. I had received very pleasant -impressions of musical and theatrical life, and for a long time Vienna -lived in my memory as the acme of that extraordinarily productive -spirit peculiar to its people. I enjoyed most of all the performances -at the Theater an der Wien, at which they were acting a grotesque fairy -play called Die Abenteuer Fortunat's zu Wasser und zu Land, in which a -cab was called on the shores of the Black Sea and which made a -tremendous impression on me. About the music I was more doubtful. A -young friend of mine took me with immense pride to a performance of -Gluck's Iphigenia in Tauris, which was made doubly attractive by a -first-rate cast including Wild, Staudigl and Binder: I must confess -that on the whole I was bored by this work, but I did not dare say so. -My ideas of Gluck had attained gigantic proportions from my reading of -Hoffmann's well-known Phantasies; my anticipation of this work -therefore, which I had not studied yet, had led me to expect a -treatment full of overpowering dramatic force. It is possible that -Schroder-Devrient's acting in Fidelio had taught me to judge everything -by her exalted standard. - -With the greatest trouble I worked myself up to some kind of enthusiasm -for the great scene between Orestes and the Furies. I hoped against -hope that I should be able to admire the remainder of the opera. I -began to understand the Viennese taste, however, when I saw how great a -favourite the opera Zampa became with the public, both at the Karnthner -Thor and at the Josephstadt. Both theatres competed vigorously in the -production of this popular work, and although the public had seemed mad -about Iphigenia, nothing equalled their enthusiasm for Zampa. No sooner -had they left the Josephstadt Theatre in the greatest ecstasies about -Zampa than they proceeded to the public-house called the Strausslein. -Here they were immediately greeted by the strains of selections from -Zampa which drove the audience to feverish excitement. I shall never -forget the extraordinary playing of Johann Strauss, who put equal -enthusiasm into everything he played, and very often made the audience -almost frantic with delight. - -At the beginning of a new waltz this demon of the Viennese musical -spirit shook like a Pythian priestess on the tripod, and veritable -groans of ecstasy (which, without doubt, were more due to his music -than to the drinks in which the audience had indulged) raised their -worship for the magic violinist to almost bewildering heights of frenzy. - -The hot summer air of Vienna was absolutely impregnated with Zampa and -Strauss. A very poor students' rehearsal at the Conservatoire, at which -they performed a Mass by Cherubini, seemed to me like an alms paid -begrudgingly to the study of classical music. At the same rehearsal one -of the professors, to whom I was introduced, tried to make the students -play my Overture in D minor (the one already performed in Leipzig). I -do not know what his opinion was, nor that of the students, with regard -to this attempt; I only know they soon gave it up. - -On the whole I had wandered into doubtful musical bypaths; and I now -withdrew from this first educational visit to a great European art -centre in order to start on a cheap, but long and monotonous return -journey to Bohemia, by stage-coach. My next move was a visit to the -house of Count Pachta, of whom I had pleasant recollections from my -boyhood days. His estate, Pravonin, was about eight miles from Prague. -Received in the kindest possible way by the old gentleman and his -beautiful daughters, I enjoyed his delightful hospitality until late -into the autumn. A youth of nineteen, as I then was, with a -fast-growing beard (for which my sisters had already prepared the young -ladies by letter), the continual and close intimacy with such kind and -pretty girls could hardly fail to make a strong impression on my -imagination. Jenny, the elder of the two, was slim, with black hair, -blue eyes, and wonderfully noble features; the younger one, Auguste, -was a little smaller, and stouter, with a magnificent complexion, fair -hair, and brown eyes. The natural and sisterly manner with which both -girls treated me and conversed with me did not blind me to the fact -that I was expected to fall in love with one or the other of them. It -amused them to see how embarrassed I got in my efforts to choose -between them, and consequently they teased me tremendously. - -Unfortunately, I did not act judiciously with regard to the daughters -of my host: in spite of their homely education, they belonged to a very -aristocratic house, and consequently hesitated between the hope of -marrying men of eminent position in their own sphere, and the necessity -of choosing husbands amongst the higher middle classes, who could -afford to keep them in comfort. The shockingly poor, almost mediaeval, -education of the Austrian so-called cavalier, made me rather despise -the latter; the girls, too, had suffered from the same lack of proper -training. I soon noticed with disgust how little they knew about things -artistic, and how much value they attached to superficial things. -However much I might try to interest them in those higher pursuits -which had become necessary to me, they were incapable of appreciating -them. I advocated a complete change from the bad library novels, which -represented their only reading, from the Italian operatic arias, sung -by Auguste, and, last but not least, from the horsy, insipid cavaliers, -who paid their court to both Jenny and her sister in the most coarse -and offensive manner. My zeal in this latter respect soon gave rise to -great unpleasantness. I became hard and insulting, harangued them about -the French Revolution, and begged them with fatherly admonitions 'for -the love of heaven' to be content with well-educated middle-class men, -and give up those impertinent suitors who could only harm their -reputation. The indignation provoked by my friendly advice I often had -to ward off with the harshest retorts. I never apologised, but tried by -dint of real or feigned jealousy to get our friendship back on the old -footing. In this way, undecided, half in love and half angry, one cold -November day I said good-bye to these pretty children. I soon met the -whole family again at Prague, where I made a long sojourn, without, -however, staying at the Count's residence. - -My stay at Prague was to be of great musical importance to me. I knew -the director of the Conservatoire, Dionys Weber, who promised to bring -my symphony before the public; I also spent much of my time with an -actor called Moritz, to whom, as an old friend of our family, I had -been recommended, and there I made the acquaintance of the young -musician Kittl. - -Moritz, who noticed that not a day passed but what I went to the -much-feared chief of the Conservatoire upon some pressing musical -business, once despatched me with an improvised parody on Schiller's -Burgschaft:-- - - Zu Dionys dem Direktor schlich - Wagner, die Partitur im Gewande; - Ihn schlugen die Schuler im Bande: - 'Was wolltest du mit den Noten sprich?' - Entgegnet ihm finster der Wutherich: - 'Die Stadt vom schlechten Geschmacke befreien! - Das sollst du in den Rezensionen bereuen.' - - [Footnote: To Dionys, the Director, - crept Wagner, the score in his pocket; - The students arrested him forthwith: - 'What do'st thou with that music, say?' - Thus asked him the angry tyrant: - 'To free the town from taste too vile! - For this the critics will make thee suffer.' ] - -Truly I had to deal with a kind of 'Dionysius the Tyrant.' A man who -did not acknowledge Beethoven's genius beyond his Second Symphony, a -man who looked upon the Eroica as the acme of bad taste on the master's -part; who praised Mozart alone, and next to him tolerated only -Lindpaintner: such a man was not easy to approach, and I had to learn -the art of making use of tyrants for one's own purposes. I -dissimulated; I pretended to be struck by the novelty of his ideas, -never contradicted him, and, to point out the similarity of our -standpoints, I referred him to the end fugue in my Overture and in my -Symphony (both in C major), which I had only succeeded in making what -they were through having studied Mozart. My reward soon followed: -Dionys set to work to study my orchestral creations with almost -youthful energy. - - - - - -The students of the Conservatoire were compelled to practise with the -greatest exactitude my new symphony under his dry and terribly noisy -baton. In the presence of several of my friends, amongst whom was also -the dear old Count Pachta in his capacity of President of the -Conservatoire Committee, we actually held a first performance of the -greatest work that I had written up to that date. - -During these musical successes I went on with my love-making in the -attractive house of Count Pachta, under the most curious circumstances. -A confectioner of the name of Hascha was my rival. He was a tall, lanky -young man who, like most Bohemians, had taken up music as a hobby; he -played the accompaniments to Auguste's songs, and naturally fell in -love with her. Like myself, he hated the frequent visits of the -cavaliers, which seemed to be quite the custom in this city; but while -my displeasure expressed itself in humour, his showed itself in gloomy -melancholy. This mood made him behave boorishly in public: for -instance, one evening, when the chandelier was to be lighted for the -reception of one of these gentlemen, he ran his head purposely against -this ornament and broke it. The festive illumination was thus rendered -impossible; the Countess was furious, and Hascha had to leave the house -never to return. - -I well remember that the first time I was conscious of any feelings of -love, these manifested themselves as pangs of jealousy, which had, -however, nothing to do with real love: this happened one evening when I -called at the house. The Countess kept me by her side in an ante-room, -while the girls, beautifully dressed and gay, flirted in the -reception-room with those hateful young noblemen. All I had ever read -in Hoffmann's Tales of certain demoniacal intrigues, which until that -moment had been obscure to me, now became really tangible facts, and I -left Prague with an obviously unjust and exaggerated opinion of those -things and those people, through whom I had suddenly been dragged into -an unknown world of elementary passions. - -On the other hand I had gained by my stay at Pravonin: I had written -poetry as well as musical compositions. My musical work was a setting -of Glockentone, a poem by the friend of my youth, Theodor Apel. I had -already written an aria for soprano which had been performed the winter -before at one of the theatre concerts. But my new work was decidedly -the first vocal piece I had written with real inspiration; generally -speaking, I suppose it owed its' characteristics to the influence of -Beethoven's Liederkreis: all the same, the impression that it has left -on my mind is that it was absolutely part of myself, and pervaded by a -delicate sentimentality which was brought into relief by the dreaminess -of the accompaniment. My poetical efforts lay in the direction of a -sketch of a tragi-operatic subject, which I finished in its entirety in -Prague under the title of Die Hochzeit ('The Wedding'). I wrote it -without anybody's knowledge, and this was no easy matter, seeing that I -could not write in my chilly little hotel-room, and had therefore to go -to the house of Moritz, where I generally spent my mornings. I remember -how I used quickly to hide my manuscript behind the sofa as soon as I -heard my host's footsteps. - -An extraordinary episode was connected with the plot of this work. - -Already years ago I had come across a tragic story, whilst perusing -Busching's book on chivalry, the like of which I have never since read. -A lady of noble birth had been assaulted one night by a man who -secretly cherished a passionate love for her, and in the struggle to -defend her honour superhuman strength was given her to fling him into -the courtyard below. The mystery of his death remained unexplained -until the day of his solemn obsequies, when the lady herself, who -attended them and was kneeling in solemn prayer, suddenly fell forward -and expired. The mysterious strength of this profound and passionate -story made an indelible impression upon my mind. Fascinated, moreover, -by the peculiar treatment of similar phenomena in Hoffmann's Tales, I -sketched a novel in which musical mysticism, which I still loved so -deeply, played an important part. The action was supposed to take place -on the estate of a rich patron of the fine arts: a young couple was -going to be married, and had invited the friend of the bride-groom, an -interesting but melancholy and mysterious young man, to their wedding. -Intimately connected with the whole affair was a strange old organist. -The mystic relations which gradually developed between the old -musician, the melancholy young man and the bride, were to grow out of -the unravelment of certain intricate events, in a somewhat similar -manner to that of the mediaeval story above related. Here was the same -idea: the young man mysteriously killed, the equally strange sudden -death of his friend's bride, and the old organist found dead on his -bench after the playing of an impressive requiem, the last chord of -which was inordinately prolonged as if it never would end. - -I never finished this novel: but as I wanted to write the libretto for -an opera, I took up the theme again in its original shape, and built on -this (as far as the principal features went) the following dramatic -plot:-- - -Two great houses had lived in enmity, and had at last decided to end -the family feud. The aged head of one of these houses invited the son -of his former enemy to the wedding of his daughter with one of his -faithful partisans. The wedding feast is thus used as an opportunity -for reconciling the two families. Whilst the guests are full of the -suspicion and fear of treachery, their young leader falls violently in -love with the bride of his newly found ally. His tragic glance deeply -affects her; the festive escort accompanies her to the bridal chamber, -where she is to await her beloved; leaning against her tower-window she -sees the same passionate eyes fixed on her, and realises that she is -face to face with a tragedy. - -When he penetrates into her chamber, and embraces her with frantic -passion, she pushes him backwards towards the balcony, and throws him -over the parapet into the abyss, from whence his mutilated remains are -dragged by his companions. They at once arm themselves against the -presumed treachery, and call for vengeance; tumult and confusion fill -the courtyard: the interrupted wedding feast threatens to end in a -night of slaughter. The venerable head of the house at last succeeds in -averting the catastrophe. Messengers are sent to bear the tidings of -the mysterious calamity to the relatives of the victim: the corpse -itself shall be the medium of reconciliation, for, in the presence of -the different generations of the suspected family, Providence itself -shall decide which of its members has been guilty of treason. During -the preparations for the obsequies the bride shows signs of approaching -madness; she flies from her bridegroom, refuses to be united to him, -and locks herself up in her tower-chamber. Only when, at night, the -gloomy though gorgeous ceremony commences, does she appear at the head -of her women to be present at the burial service, the gruesome -solemnity of which is interrupted by the news of the approach of -hostile forces and then by the armed attack of the kinsmen of the -murdered man. When the avengers of the presumed treachery penetrate -into the chapel and call upon the murderer to declare himself, the -horrified lord of the manor points towards his daughter who, turning -away from her bridegroom, falls lifeless by the coffin of her victim. -This nocturnal drama, through which ran reminiscences of Leubald und -Adelaide (the work of my far-off boyhood), I wrote in the darkest vein, -but in a more polished and more noble style, disdaining all -light-effects, and especially all operatic embellishments. Tender -passages occurred here and there all the same, and Weinlich, to whom I -had already shown the beginning of my work on my return to Leipzig, -praised me for the clearness and good vocal quality of the introduction -I had composed to the first act; this was an Adagio for a vocal -septette, in which I had tried to express the reconciliation of the -hostile families, together with the emotions of the wedded couple and -the sinister passion of the secret lover. My principal object was, all -the same, to win my sister Rosalie's approval. My poem, however, did -not find favour in her eyes: she missed all that which I had purposely -avoided, insisted on the ornamentation and development of the simple -situation, and desired more brightness generally. I made up my mind in -an instant: I took the manuscript, and without a suggestion of -ill-temper, destroyed it there and then. This action had nothing -whatever to do with wounded vanity. It was prompted merely by my desire -honestly to prove to my sister how little I thought of my own work and -how much I cared for her opinion. She was held in great and loving -esteem by my mother and by the rest of our family, for she was their -principal breadwinner: the important salary she earned as an actress -constituted nearly the whole income out of which my mother had to -defray the household expenses. For the sake of her profession she -enjoyed many advantages at home. Her part of the house had been -specially arranged so that she should have all the necessary comfort -and peace for her studies; on marketing days, when the others had to -put up with the simplest fare, she had to have the same dainty food as -usual. But more than any of these things did her charming gravity and -her refined way of speaking place her above the younger children. She -was thoughtful and gentle and never joined us in our rather loud -conversation. Of course, I had been the one member of the family who -had caused the greatest anxieties both to my mother and to my motherly -sister, and during my life as a student the strained relations between -us had made a terrible impression on me. When therefore they tried to -believe in me again, and once more showed some interest in my work, I -was full of gratitude and happiness. The thought of getting this sister -to look kindly upon my aspirations, and even to expect great things of -me, had become a special stimulus to my ambition. Under these -circumstances a tender and almost sentimental relationship grew up -between Rosalie and myself, which in its purity and sincerity could vie -with the noblest form of friendship between man and woman. This was -principally due to her exceptional individuality. She had not any real -talent, at least not for acting, which had often been considered stagey -and unnatural. Nevertheless she was much appreciated owing to her -charming appearance as well as to her pure and dignified womanliness, -and I remember many tokens of esteem which she received in those days. -All the same, none of these advances ever seemed to lead to the -prospect of a marriage, and year by year went by without bringing her -hopes of a suitable match--a fact which to me appeared quite -unaccountable. From time to time I thought I noticed that Rosalie -suffered from this state of affairs. I remember one evening when, -believing herself to be alone, I heard her sobbing and moaning; I stole -away unnoticed, but her grief made such an impression upon me that from -that moment I vowed to bring some joy into her life, principally by -making a name for myself. Not without reason had our stepfather Geyer -given my gentle sister the nickname of 'Geistchen' (little spirit), for -if her talent as an actress was not great, her imagination and her love -of art and of all high and noble things were perhaps, on that account -alone, all the greater. From her lips I had first heard expressions of -admiration and delight concerning those subjects which became dear to -me later on, and she moved amongst a circle of serious and interesting -people who loved the higher things of life without this attitude ever -degenerating into affectation. - -On my return from my long journey I was introduced to Heinrich Laube, -whom my sister had added to her list of intimate friends. It was at the -time when the after-effects of the July revolution were beginning to -make themselves felt amongst the younger men of intellect in Germany, -and of these Laube was one of the most conspicuous. As a young man he -came from Silesia to Leipzig, his principal object being to try and -form connections in this publishing centre which might be of use to him -in Paris, whither he was going, and from which place Borne also made a -sensation amongst us by his letters. On this occasion Laube was present -at a representation of a play by Ludwig Robert, Die Macht der -Verhallnisse ('The Power of Circumstances'). This induced him to write -a criticism for the Leipzig Tageblatt, which made such a sensation -through its terse and lively style that he was at once offered, in -addition to other literary work, the post of editor of Die elegante -Welt. In our house he was looked upon as a genius; his curt and often -biting manner of speaking, which seemed to exclude all attempt at -poetic expression, made him appear both original and daring: his sense -of justice, his sincerity and fearless bluntness made one respect his -character, hardened as it had been in youth by great adversity. On me -he had a very inspiring effect, and I was very much astonished to find -that he thought so much of me as to write a flattering notice about my -talent in his paper after hearing the first performance of my symphony. - -This performance took place in the beginning of the year 1833 at the -Leipzig Schneider-Herberge. It was, by the bye, in this dignified old -hall that the society 'Euterpe' held its concerts! The place was dirty, -narrow, and poorly lighted, and it was here that my work was introduced -to the Leipzig public for the first time, and by means of an orchestra -that interpreted it simply disgracefully. I can only think of that -evening as a gruesome nightmare; and my astonishment was therefore all -the greater at seeing the important notice which Laube wrote about the -performance. Full of hope, I therefore looked forward to a performance -of the same work at the Gewandhaus concert, which followed soon after, -and which came off brilliantly in every way. It was well received and -well spoken of in all the papers; of real malice there was not a -trace--on the contrary, several notices wore encouraging, and Laube, -who had quickly become celebrated, confided to me that he was going to -offer me a libretto for an opera, which he had first written for -Meyerbeer. This staggered me somewhat, for I was not in the least -prepared to pose as a poet, and my only idea was to write a real plot -for an opera. As to the precise manner, however, in which such a book -had to be written, I already had a very definite and instinctive -notion, and I was strengthened in the certainty of my own feelings in -the matter when Laube now explained the nature of his plot to me. He -told me that he wanted to arrange nothing less than Kosziusko into a -libretto for grand opera! Once again I had qualms, for I felt at once -that Laube had a mistaken idea about the character of a dramatic -subject. When I inquired into the real action of the play, Laube was -astonished that I should expect more than the story of the Polish hero, -whose life was crowded with incident; in any case, he thought there was -quite sufficient action in it to describe the unhappy fate of a whole -nation. Of course the usual heroine was not missing; she was a Polish -girl who had a love affair with a Russian; and in this way some -sentimental situations were also to be found in the plot. Without a -moment's delay I assured my sister Rosalie that I would not set this -story to music: she agreed with me, and begged me only to postpone my -answer to Laube. My journey to Wurzburg was of great help to me in this -respect, for it was easier to write my decision to Laube than to -announce it to him personally. He accepted the slight rebuff with good -grace, but he never forgave me, either then or afterwards, for writing -my own words! - -When he heard what subject I had preferred to his brilliant political -poem, he made no effort to conceal his contempt for my choice. I had -borrowed the plot from a dramatic fairy tale by Gozzi, La Donna -Serpente, and called it Die Feen ('The Fairies'). The names of my -heroes I chose from different Ossian and similar poems: my prince was -called Arindal; he was loved by a fairy called Ada, who held him under -her spell and kept him in fairyland, away from his realm, until his -faithful friends at last found him and induced him to return, for his -country was going to rack and ruin, and even its capital had fallen -into the enemy's hands. The loving fairy herself sends the prince back -to his country; for the oracle has decreed that she shall lay upon her -lover the severest of tasks. Only by performing this task triumphantly -can he make it possible for her to leave the immortal world of fairies -in order to share the fate of her earthly lover, as his wife. In a -moment of deepest despair about the state of his country, the fairy -queen appears to him and purposely destroys his faith in her by deeds -of the most cruel and inexplicable nature. Driven mad by a thousand -fears, Arindal begins to imagine that all the time he has been dealing -with a wicked sorceress, and tries to escape the fatal spell by -pronouncing a curse upon Ada. Wild with sorrow, the unhappy fairy sinks -down, and reveals their mutual fate to the lover, now lost to her for -ever, and tells him that, as a punishment for having disobeyed the -decree of Fate, she is doomed to be turned into stone (in Gozzi's -version she becomes a serpent). Immediately afterwards it appears that -all the catastrophes which the fairy had prophesied were but -deceptions: victory over the enemy as well as the growing prosperity -and welfare of the kingdom now follow in quick succession: Ada is taken -away by the Fates, and Arindal, a raving madman, remains behind alone. -The terrible sufferings of his madness do not, however, satisfy the -Fates: to bring about his utter ruin they appear before the repentant -man and invite him to follow them to the nether world, on the pretext -of enabling him to free Ada from the spell. Through the treacherous -promises of the wicked fairies Arindal's madness grows into sublime -exaltation; and one of his household magicians, a faithful friend, -having in the meantime equipped him with magic weapons and charms, he -now follows the traitresses. The latter cannot get over their -astonishment when they see how Arindal overcomes one after the other of -the monsters of the infernal regions: only when they arrive at the -vault in which they show him the stone in human shape do they recover -their hope of vanquishing the valiant prince, for, unless he can break -the charm which binds Ada, he must share her fate and be doomed to -remain a stone for ever. Arindal, who until then has been using the -dagger and the shield given him by the friendly magician, now makes use -of an instrument--a lyre--which he has brought with him, and the -meaning of which he had not yet understood. To the sounds of this -instrument he now expresses his plaintive moans, his remorse, and his -overpowering longing for his enchanted queen. The stone is moved by the -magic of his love: the beloved one is released. Fairyland with all its -marvels opens its portals, and the mortal learns that, owing to his -former inconstancy, Ada has lost the right to become his wife on earth, -but that her beloved, through his great and magic power, has earned the -right to live for ever by her side in fairyland. - -Although I had written Die Hochzeit in the darkest vein, without -operatic embellishments, I painted this subject with the utmost colour -and variety. In contrast to the lovers out of fairyland I depicted a -more ordinary couple, and I even introduced a third pair that belonged -to the coarser and more comical servant world. I purposely went to no -pains in the matter of the poetic diction and the verse. My idea was -not to encourage my former hopes of making a name as a poet; I was now -really a 'musician' and a 'composer,' and wished to write a decent -opera libretto simply because I was sure that nobody else could write -one for me; the reason being that such a book is something quite unique -and cannot be written either by a poet or by a mere man of letters. -With the intention of setting this libretto to music, I left Leipzig in -January, 1833, to stay in Wurzburg with my eldest brother Albert, who -at the time held an appointment at the theatre. It now seemed necessary -for me to begin to apply my musical knowledge to a practical purpose, -and to this end my brother had promised to help me in getting some kind -of post at the small Wurzburg theatre. I travelled by post to Bamberg -via Hof, and in Bamberg I stayed a few days in the company of a young -man called Schunke, who from a player on the horn had become an actor. -With the greatest interest I learned the story of Caspar Hauser, who at -that time was very well known, and who (if I am not mistaken) was -pointed out to me. In addition to this, I admired the peculiar costumes -of the market-women, thought with much interest of Hoffmann's stay at -this place, and of how it had led to the writing of his Tales, and -resumed my journey (to Wurzburg) with a man called Hauderer, and -suffered miserably from the cold all the way. - -My brother Albert, who was almost a new acquaintance to me, did his -best to make me feel at home in his not over luxurious establishment. -He was pleased to find me less mad than he had expected me to be from a -certain letter with which I had succeeded in frightening him some time -previously, and he really managed to procure me an exceptional -occupation as choir-master at the theatre, for which I received the -monthly fee of ten guilders. The remainder of the winter was devoted to -the serious study of the duties required of a musical director: in a -very short time I had to tackle two new grand operas, namely, -Marschner's Vampir and Meyerbeer's Robert der Teufel, in both of which -the chorus played a considerable part. At first I felt absolutely like -a beginner, and had to start on Camilla von Paer, the score of which -was utterly unknown to me. I still remember that I felt I was doing a -thing which I had no right to undertake: I felt quite an amateur at the -work. Soon, however, Marschner's score interested me sufficiently to -make the labour seem worth my while. The score of Robert was a great -disappointment to me: from the newspapers I had expected plenty of -originality and novelty; I could find no trace of either in this -transparent work, and an opera with a finale like that of the second -act could not be named in the same breath with any of my favourite -works. The only thing that impressed me was the unearthly keyed trumpet -which, in the last act, represented the voice of the mother's ghost. - -It was remarkable to observe the aesthetic demoralisation into which I -now fell through having daily to deal with such a work. I gradually -lost my dislike for this shallow and exceedingly uninteresting -composition (a dislike I shared with many German musicians) in the -growing interest which I was compelled to take in its interpretation; -and thus it happened that the insipidness and affectation of the -commonplace melodies ceased to concern me save from the standpoint of -their capability of eliciting applause or the reverse. As, moreover, my -future career as musical conductor was at stake, my brother, who was -very anxious on my behalf, looked favourably on this lack of classical -obstinacy on my part, and thus the ground was gradually prepared for -that decline in my classical taste which was destined to last some -considerable time. - -All the same, this did not occur before I had given some proof of my -great inexperience in the lighter style of writing. My brother wanted -to introduce a 'Cavatine' from the Piraten, by Bellini, into the same -composer's opera, Straniera; the score was not to be had, and he -entrusted me with the instrumentation of this work. From the piano -score alone I could not possibly detect the heavy and noisy -instrumentation of the ritornelles and intermezzi which, musically, -were so very thin; the composer of a great C major Symphony with an end -fugue could only help himself out of the difficulty by the use of a few -flutes and clarinets playing in thirds. At the rehearsal the 'Cavatine' -sounded so frightfully thin and shallow that my brother made me serious -reproaches about the waste of copying expenses. But I had my revenge: -to the tenor aria of 'Aubry' in Marschner's Vampir I added an Allegro, -for which I also wrote the words. - -My work succeeded splendidly, and earned the praise of both the public -and my brother. In a similar German style I wrote the music to my Feen -in the course of the year 1833. My brother and his wife left Wurzburg -after Easter in order to avail themselves of several invitations at -friends' houses; I stayed behind with the children--three little girls -of tender years--which placed me in the extraordinary position of a -responsible guardian, a post for which I was not in the least suited at -that time of my life. My time was divided between my work and pleasure, -and in consequence I neglected my charges. Amongst the friends I made -there, Alexander Muller had much influence over me; he was a good -musician and pianist, and I used to listen for hours to his -improvisations on given themes--an accomplishment in which he so -greatly excelled, that I could not fail to be impressed. With him and -some other friends, amongst whom was also Valentin Hamm, I often made -excursions in the neighbourhood, on which occasions the Bavarian beer -and the Frankish wine were wont to fly. Valentin Hamm was a grotesque -individual, who entertained us often with his excellent violin playing; -he had an enormous stretch on the piano, for he could reach an interval -of a twelfth. Der Letzte Hieb, a public beer-garden situated on a -pleasant height, was a daily witness of my fits of wild and often -enthusiastic boisterousness; never once during those mild summer nights -did I return to my charges without having waxed enthusiastic over art -and the world in general. I also remember a wicked trick which has -always remained a blot in my memory. Amongst my friends was a fair and -very enthusiastic Swabian called Frohlich, with whom I had exchanged my -score of the C minor Symphony for his, which he had copied out with his -own hand. This very gentle, but rather irritable young man had taken -such a violent dislike to one Andre, whose malicious face I also -detested, that he declared that this person spoilt his evenings for -him, merely by being in the same room with him. The unfortunate object -of his hatred tried all the same to meet us whenever he could: friction -ensued, but Andre would insist upon aggravating us. One evening -Frohlich lost patience. After some insulting retort, he tried to chase -him from our table by striking him with a stick: the result was a fight -in which Frolich's friends felt they must take part, though they all -seemed to do so with some reluctance. A mad longing to join the fray -also took possession of me. With the others I helped in knocking our -poor victim about, and I even heard the sound of one terrible blow -which I struck Andre on the head, whilst he fixed his eyes on me in -bewilderment. - -I relate this incident to atone for a sin which has weighed very -heavily on my conscience ever since. I can compare this sad experience -only with one out of my earliest boyhood days, namely the drowning of -some puppies in a shallow pool behind my uncle's house in Eisleben. -Even to this day I cannot think of the slow death of these poor little -creatures without horror. I have never quite forgotten some of my -thoughtless and reckless actions; for the sorrows of others, and in -particular those of animals, have always affected me deeply to the -extent of filling me with a disgust of life. - -My first love affair stands out in strong contrast against these -recollections. It was only natural that one of the young chorus ladies -with whom I had to practise daily should know how to attract my -attentions. Therese Ringelmann, the daughter of a grave-digger, thanks -to her beautiful soprano voice, led me to believe that I could make a -great singer of her. After I told her of this ambitious scheme, she -paid much attention to her appearance, and dressed elegantly for the -rehearsals, and a row of white pearls which she wound through her hair -specially fascinated me. During the summer holidays I gave Therese -regular lessons in singing, according to a method which has always -remained a mystery to me ever since. I also called on her very often at -her house, where, fortunately, I never met her unpleasant father, but -always her mother and her sisters. We also met in the public gardens, -but false vanity always kept me from telling my friends of our -relations. I do not know whether the fault lay with her lowly birth, -her lack of education, or my own doubt about the sincerity of my -affections; but in any case when, in addition to the fact that I had my -reasons for being jealous, they also tried to urge me to a formal -engagement, this love affair came quietly to an end. - -An infinitely more genuine affair was my love for Friederike Galvani, -the daughter of a mechanic, who was undoubtedly of Italian origin. She -was very musical, and had a lovely voice; my brother had patronised her -and helped her to a debut at his theatre, which test she stood -brilliantly. She was rather small, but had large dark eyes and a sweet -disposition. The first oboist of the orchestra, a good fellow as well -as a clever musician, was thoroughly devoted to her. He was looked upon -as her fiance, but, owing to some incident in his past, he was not -allowed to visit at her parents' house, and the marriage was not to -take place for a long time yet. When the autumn of my year in Wurzburg -drew near, I received an invitation from friends to be present at a -country wedding at a little distance from Wurzburg; the oboist and his -fiancee had also been invited. It was a jolly, though primitive affair; -we drank and danced, and I even tried my hand at violin playing, but I -must have forgotten it badly, for even with the second violin I could -not manage to satisfy the other musicians. But my success with -Friederike was all the greater; we danced like mad through the many -couples of peasants until at one moment we got so excited that, losing -all self-control, we embraced each other while her real lover was -playing the dance music. For the first time in my life I began to feel -a flattering sensation of self-respect when Friederike's fiance, on -seeing how we two flirted, accepted the situation with good grace, if -not without some sadness. I had never had the chance of thinking that I -could make a favourable impression on any young girl. I never imagined -myself good-looking, neither had I ever thought it possible that I -could attract the attention of pretty girls. - -On the other hand, I had gradually acquired a certain self-reliance in -mixing with men of my own age. Owing to the exceptional vivacity and -innate susceptibility of my nature--qualities which were brought home -to me in my relations with members of my circle--I gradually became -conscious of a certain power of transporting or bewildering my more -indolent companions. - -From my poor oboist's silent self-control on becoming aware of the -ardent advances of his betrothed towards me, I acquired, as I have -said, the first suggestion of the fact that I might count for -something, not only among men, but also among women. The Frankish wine -helped to bring about a state of ever greater confusion, and under the -cover of its influence I at length declared myself, quite openly, to be -Friederike's lover. Ever so far into the night, in fact, when day was -already breaking, we set off home together to Wurzburg in an open -wagon. This was the crowning triumph of my delightful adventure; for -while all the others, including, in the end, the jealous oboist, slept -off their debauch in the face of the dawning day, I, with my cheek -against Friederike's, and listening to the warbling of the larks, -watched the coming of the rising sun. - -On the following day we had scarcely any idea of what had happened. A -certain sense of shame, which was not unbecoming, held us aloof from -one another: and yet I easily won access to Friederike's family, and -from that time forward was daily a welcome guest, when for some hours I -would linger in unconcealed intimate intercourse with the same domestic -circle from which the unhappy betrothed remained excluded. No word was -ever mentioned of this last connection; never once did it even dawn -upon Friederike to effect any change in the state of affairs, and it -seemed to strike no one that I ought, so to speak, to take the fiance's -place. The confiding manner in which I was received by all, and -especially by the girl herself, was exactly similar to one of Nature's -great processes, as, for instance, when spring steps in and winter -passes silently away. Not one of them ever considered the material -consequences of the change, and this is precisely the most charming and -flattering feature of this first youthful love affair, which was never -to degenerate into an attitude which might give rise to suspicion or -concern. These relations ended only with my departure from Wurzburg, -which was marked by the most touching and most tearful leavetaking. - -For some time, although I kept up no correspondence, the memory of this -episode remained firmly imprinted on my mind. Two years later, while -making a rapid journey through the old district, I once more visited -Friederike: the poor child approached me utterly shamefaced. Her oboist -was still her lover, and though his position rendered marriage -impossible, the unfortunate young woman had become a mother. I have -heard nothing more of her since. - -Amid all this traffic of love I worked hard at my opera, and, thanks to -the loving sympathy of my sister Rosalie, I was able to find the -necessary good spirits for the task. When at the commencement of the -summer my earnings as a conductor came to an end, this same sister -again made it her business loyally to provide me with ample -pocket-money, so that I might devote myself solely to the completion of -my work, without troubling about anything or being a burden to any one. -At a much later date I came across a letter of mine written to Rosalie -in those days, which were full of a tender, almost adoring love for -that noble creature. - -When the winter was at hand my brother returned, and the theatre -reopened. Truth to tell, I did not again become connected with it, but -acquired a position, which was even more prominent, in the concerts of -the Musical Society in which I produced my great overture in C major, -my symphony, and eventually portions of my new opera as well. An -amateur with a splendid voice, Mademoiselle Friedel, sang the great -aria from Ada. In addition to this, a trio was given which, in one of -its passages, had such a moving effect upon my brother, who took part -in it, that, to his astonishment, as he himself admitted, he completely -lost his cue on account of it. - -By Christmas my work had come to an end, my score was written out -complete with the most laudable neatness, and now I was to return to -Leipzig for the New Year, in order to get my opera accepted by the -theatre there. On the way home I visited Nuremberg, where I stayed a -week with my sister Clara and with her husband, who were engaged at the -theatre there. I well remember how happy and comfortable I felt during -this pleasant visit to the very same relatives who a few years -previously, when I had stayed with them at Magdeburg, had been upset by -my resolve to adopt music as a calling. Now I had become a real -musician, had written a grand opera, and had already brought out many -things without coming to grief. The sense of all this was a great joy -to me, while it was no less flattering to my relatives, who could not -fail to see that the supposed misfortune had in the end proved to my -advantage. I was in a jolly mood and quite unrestrained--a state of -mind which was very largely the result not only of my brother-in-law's -cheerful and sociable household, but also of the pleasant tavern life -of the place. In a much more confident and elated spirit I returned to -Leipzig, where I was able to lay the three huge volumes of my score -before my highly delighted mother and sister. - -Just then my family was the richer for the return of my brother Julius -from his long wanderings. He had worked a good while in Paris as a -goldsmith, and had now set up for himself in that capacity in Leipzig. -He too, like the rest, was eager to hear something out of my opera, -which, to be sure, was not so easy, as I entirely lacked the gift of -playing anything of the sort in an easy and intelligible way. Only when -I was able to work myself into a state of absolute ecstasy was it -possible for me to render something with any effect. Rosalie knew that -I meant it to draw a sort of declaration of love from her; but I have -never felt certain whether the embrace and the sisterly kiss which were -awarded me after I had sung my great aria from Ada, were bestowed on me -from real emotion or rather out of affectionate regard. On the other -hand, the zeal with which she urged my opera on the director of the -theatre, Ringelhardt, the conductor and the manager was unmistakable, -and she did it so effectually that she obtained their consent for its -performance, and that very speedily. I was particularly interested to -learn that the management immediately showed themselves eager to try to -settle the matter of the costumes for my drama: but I was astonished to -hear that the choice was in favour of oriental attire, whereas I had -intended, by the names I had selected, to suggest a northern character -for the setting. But it was precisely these names which they found -unsuitable, as fairy personages are not seen in the North, but only in -the East; while apart from this, the original by Gozzi, which formed -the basis of the work, undoubtedly bore an oriental character. It was -with the utmost indignation that I opposed the insufferable turban and -caftan style of dress, and vehemently advocated the knightly garb worn -in the early years of the Middle Ages. I then had to come to a thorough -understanding with the conductor, Stegmayer, on the subject of my -score. He was a remarkable, short, fat man, with fair curly hair, and -an exceptionally jovial disposition; he was, however, very hard to -bring to a point. When over our wine we always arrived at an -understanding very quickly, but as soon as we sat at the piano, I had -to listen to the most extraordinary objections concerning the trend of -which I was for some time extremely puzzled. As the matter was much -delayed by this vacillation, I put myself into closer communication -with the stage manager of the opera, Hauser, who at that time was much -appreciated as a singer and patron of art by the people of Leipzig. - -With this man, too, I had the strangest experiences: he who had -captivated the audiences of Leipzig, more especially with his -impersonation of the barber and the Englishman in Fra Diavolo, suddenly -revealed himself in his own house as the most fanatical adherent of the -most old-fashioned music. I listened with astonishment to the scarcely -veiled contempt with which he treated even Mozart, and the only thing -he seemed to regret was that we had no operas by Sebastian Bach. After -he had explained to me that dramatic music had not actually been -written yet, and that properly speaking Gluck alone had shown any -ability for it, he proceeded to what seemed an exhaustive examination -of my own opera, concerning which all I had wished to hear from him was -whether it was fit to be performed. Instead of this, however, his -object seemed to be to point out the failure of my purpose in every -number. I sweated blood under the unparalleled torture of going through -my work with this man; and I told my mother and sister of my grave -depression. All these delays had already succeeded in making it -impossible to perform my opera at the date originally fixed, and now it -was postponed until August of the current year (1834). - -An incident which I shall never forget inspired me with fresh courage. -Old Bierey, an experienced and excellent musician, and in his day a -successful composer, who, thanks more particularly to his long practice -as a conductor at the Breslau theatre, had acquired a perfectly -practical knowledge of such things, was then living at Leipzig, and was -a good friend of my people. My mother and sister begged him to give his -opinion about the fitness of my opera for the stage, and I duly -submitted the score to him. I cannot say how deeply affected and -impressed I was to see this old gentleman appear one day among my -relatives, and to hear him declare with genuine enthusiasm that he -simply could not understand how so young a man could have composed such -a score. His remarks concerning the greatness which he had recognised -in my talent were really irresistible, and positively amazed me. When -asked whether he considered the work presentable and calculated to -produce an effect, he declared his only regret was that he was no -longer at the head of a theatre, because, had he been, he would have -thought himself extremely lucky to secure such a man as myself -permanently for his enterprise. At this announcement my family was -overcome with joy, and their feelings were all the more justified -seeing that, as they all knew, Bierey was by no means an amiable -romancer, but a practical musician well seasoned by a life full of -experience. - -The delay was now borne with better spirits, and for a long time I was -able to wait hopefully for what the future might bring. Among other -things, I now began to enjoy the company of a new friend in the person -of Laube, who at that time, although I had not set his Kosziusko to -music, was at the zenith of his fame. The first portion of his novel, -Young Europe, the form of which was epistolary, had appeared, and had a -most stimulating effect on me, more particularly in conjunction with -all the youthful hopefulness which at that time pulsated in my veins. -Though his teaching was essentially only a repetition of that in -Heinse's Ardinghello, the forces that then surged in young breasts were -given full and eloquent expression. The guiding spirit of this tendency -was followed in literary criticism, which was aimed mainly at the -supposed or actual incapacity of the semi-classical occupants of our -various literary thrones. Without the slightest mercy the pedants, -[Footnote: Zopfe in the German text.--TRANSLATOR.] among whom Tieck for -one was numbered, were treated as sheer encumbrances and hindrances to -the rise of a new literature. That which led to a remarkable revulsion -of my feelings with regard to those German composers who hitherto had -been admired and respected, was partly the influence of these critical -skirmishes, and the luring sprightliness of their tone; but mainly the -impression made by a fresh visit of Schroder-Devrient to Leipzig, when -her rendering of Borneo in Bellini's Romeo and Juliet carried every one -by storm. The effect of it was not to be compared with anything that -had been witnessed theretofore. To see the daring, romantic figure of -the youthful lover against a background of such obviously shallow and -empty music prompted one, at all events, to meditate doubtfully upon -the cause of the great lack of effect in solid German music as it had -been applied hitherto to the drama. Without for the moment plunging too -deeply into this meditation, I allowed myself to be borne along with -the current of my youthful feelings, then roused to ardour, and turned -involuntarily to the task of working off all that brooding seriousness -which in my earlier years had driven me to such pathetic mysticism. - -What Pohlenz had not done by his conducting of the Ninth Symphony, what -the Vienna Conservatoire, Dionys Weber, and many other clumsy -performances (which had led me to regard classical music as absolutely -colourless) had not fully accomplished, was achieved by the -inconceivable charm of the most unclassical Italian music, thanks to -the wonderful, thrilling, and entrancing impersonation of Romeo by -Schroder-Devrient. What effect such powerful, and as regards their -causes, incomprehensible, effects had upon my opinion was shown in the -frivolous way in which I was able to contrive a short criticism of -Weber's Euryanthe for the Elegante Zeitung. This opera had been -performed by the Leipzig company shortly before the appearance of -Schroder-Devrient: cold and colourless performers, among whom the -singer in the title-role, appearing in the wilderness with the full -sleeves which were then the pink of fashion, is still a disagreeable -memory. Very laboriously, and without verve, but simply with the object -of satisfying the demands of classical rules, this company did its -utmost to dispel even the enthusiastic impressions of Weber's music -which I had formed in my youth. I did not know what answer to make to a -brother critic of Laube's, when he pointed out to me the laboured -character of this operatic performance, as soon as he was able to -contrast it with the entrancing effect of that Romeo evening. Here I -found myself confronted with a problem, the solving of which I was just -at that time disposed to take as easily as possible, and displayed my -courage by discarding all prejudice, and that daringly, in the short -criticism just mentioned in which I simply scoffed at Euryanthe. Just -as I had had my season of wild oat sowing as a student, so now I boldly -rushed into the same courses in the development of my artistic taste. - -It was May, and beautiful spring weather, and a pleasure trip that I -now undertook with a friend into the promised land of my youthful -romance, Bohemia, was destined to bring the unrestrained -'Young-European' mood in me to full maturity. This friend was Theodor -Apel. I had known him a long while, and had always felt particularly -flattered by the fact that I had won his hearty affection; for, as the -son of the gifted master of metre and imitator of Greek forms of -poetry, August Apel, I felt that admiring deference for him which I had -never yet been able to bestow upon the descendant of a famous man. -Being well-to-do and of a good family, his friendship gave me such -opportunities of coming into touch with the easy circumstances of the -upper classes as were not of frequent occurrence in my station of life. -While my mother, for instance, regarded my association with this highly -respectable family with great satisfaction, I for my part was extremely -gratified at the thought of the cordiality with which I was received in -such circles. - -Apel's earnest wish was to become a poet, and I took it for granted -that he had all that was needed for such a calling; above all, what -seemed to me so important, the complete freedom that his considerable -fortune assured him by liberating him from all need of earning his -living or of adopting a profession for a livelihood. Strange to say, -his mother, who on the death of his distinguished father had married a -Leipzig lawyer, was very anxious about the vocation he should choose, -and wished her son to make a fine career in the law, as she was not at -all disposed to favour his poetical gifts. And it was to her attempts -to convert me to her view, in order that by my influence I might avert -the calamity of a second poet in the family, in the person of the son, -that I owed the specially friendly relations that obtained between -herself and me. All her suggestions succeeded in doing, however, was to -stimulate me, even more than my own favourable opinion of his talent -could, to confirm my friend in his desire to be a poet, and thus to -support him in his rebellious attitude towards his family. - -He was not displeased at this. As he was also studying music and -composed quite nicely, I succeeded in being on terms of the greatest -intimacy with him. The fact that he had spent the very year in which I -had sunk into the lowest depths of undergraduate madness, studying at -Heidelberg and not at Leipzig, had kept him unsullied by any share in -my strange excesses, and when we now met again at Leipzig, in the -spring of 1834, the only thing that we still had in common was the -aesthetic aspiration of our lives, which we now strove by way of -experiment to divert into the direction of the enjoyment of life. -Gladly would we have flung ourselves into lively adventures if only the -conditions of our environment and of the whole middle-class world in -which we lived had in any way admitted of such things. Despite all the -promptings of our instincts, however, we got no further than planning -this excursion to Bohemia. At all events, it was something that we made -the journey not by the post, but in our own carriage, and our genuine -pleasure continued to lie in the fact that at Teplitz, for instance, we -daily took long drives in a fine carriage. When in the evening we had -supped off trout at the Wilhelmsburg, drunk good Czernosek wine with -Bilin water, and duly excited ourselves over Hoffmann, Beethoven, -Shakespeare, Heinse's Ardinghello, and other matters, and then, with -our limbs comfortably outstretched in our elegant carriage, drove back -in the summer twilight to the 'King of Prussia,' where we occupied the -large balcony-room on the first floor, we felt that we had spent the -day like young gods, and for sheer exuberance could think of nothing -better to do than to indulge in the most frightful quarrels which, -especially when the windows were open, would collect numbers of alarmed -listeners in the square before the inn. - -One fine morning I stole away from my friend in order to take my -breakfast alone at the 'Schlackenburg,' and also to seize an -opportunity of jotting down the plan of a new operatic composition in -my note-book. With this end in view, I had mastered the subject of -Shakespeare's Measure for Measure, which, in accordance with my present -mood, I soon transformed pretty freely into a libretto entitled -Liebesverbot. Young Europe and Ardinghello, and the strange frame of -mind into which I had fallen with regard to classical operatic music, -furnished me with the keynote of my conception, which was directed more -particularly against puritanical hypocrisy, and which thus tended -boldly to exalt 'unrestrained sensuality.' I took care to understand -the grave Shakespearean theme only in this sense. I could see only the -gloomy strait-laced viceroy, his heart aflame with the most passionate -love for the beautiful novice, who, while she beseeches him to pardon -her brother condemned to death for illicit love, at the same time -kindles the most dangerous fire in the stubborn Puritan's breast by -infecting him with the lovely warmth of her human emotion. - -The fact that these powerful features are so richly developed in -Shakespeare's creation only in order that, in the end, they may be -weighed all the more gravely in the scales of justice, was no concern -of mine: all I cared about was to expose the sinfulness of hypocrisy -and the unnaturalness of such cruel moral censure. Thus I completely -dropped Measure for Measure, and made the hypocrite be brought to -justice only by the avenging power of love. I transferred the theme -from the fabulous city of Vienna to the capital of sunny Sicily, in -which a German viceroy, indignant at the inconceivably loose morals of -the people, attempts to introduce a puritanical reform, and comes -miserably to grief over it. Die Stumme von Portici probably contributed -to some extent to this theme, as did also certain memories of Die -Sizilianische Vesper. When I remember that at last even the gentle -Sicilian Bellini constituted a factor in this composition, I cannot, to -be sure, help smiling at the strange medley in which the most -extraordinary misunderstandings here took shape. - -This remained for the present a mere draft. Studies from life destined -for my work were first to be carried out on this delightful excursion -to Bohemia. I led my friend in triumph to Prague, in the hope of -securing the same impressions for him which had stirred me so -profoundly when I was there. We met my fair friends in the city itself; -for, owing to the death of old Count Pachta, material changes had taken -place in the family, and the surviving daughters no longer went to -Pravonin. My behaviour was full of arrogance, and by means of it I -doubtless wished to vent a certain capricious lust of revenge for the -feelings of bitterness with which I had taken leave of this circle some -years previously. My friend was well received. The changed family -circumstances forced the charming girls ever more and more imperatively -to come to some decision as to their future, and a wealthy bourgeois, -though not exactly in trade himself, but in possession of ample means, -seemed to the anxious mother, at all events, a good adviser. Without -either showing or feeling any malice in the matter, I expressed my -pleasure at the sight of the strange confusion caused by Theodor's -introduction into the family by the merriest and wildest jests: for my -only intercourse with the ladies consisted purely of jokes and friendly -chaff. They could not understand how it was that I had altered so -strangely. There was no longer any of that love of wrangling, that rage -for instructing, and that zeal in converting in me which formerly they -had found so irritating. But at the same time not a sensible word could -I be made to utter, and they who were now wanting to talk over many -things seriously could get nothing out of me save the wildest -tomfoolery. As on this occasion, in my character of an uncaged bird, I -boldly allowed myself many a liberty against which they felt themselves -powerless, my exuberant spirits were excited all the more when my -friend, who was led away by my example, tried to imitate me--a thing -they took in very bad part from him. - -Only once was there any attempt at seriousness between us: I was -sitting at the piano, and was listening to my companion, who was -telling the ladies that in a conversation at the hotel I had found -occasion to express myself most warmly to some one who appeared to be -surprised on hearing of the domestic and industrious qualities of my -lady friends. I was deeply moved when, as the outcome of my companion's -remarks, I gathered what unpleasant experiences the poor things had -already been through: for what seemed to me a very natural action on my -part, appeared to fill them with unexpected pleasure. Jenny, for -instance, came up to me and hugged me with great warmth. By general -consent I was now granted the right of behaving with almost studied -rudeness, and I replied even to Jenny's warm outburst only with my -usual banter. - -In our hotel, the 'Black Horse,' which was so famous in those days, I -found the playground in which I was able to carry the mischievous -spirit not exhausted at the Pachta's house to the point of -recklessness. Out of the most accidental material in table and -travelling guests we succeeded in gathering a company around us which -allowed us, until far into the night, to lead it into the most -inconceivable follies. To all this I was incited more particularly by -the personality of a very timid and undersized business man from -Frankfort on the Oder, who longed to seem of a daring disposition; and -his presence stimulated me, if only owing to the remarkable chance it -gave me of coming into contact with some one who was at home in -Frankfort 'on the Oder.' Any one who knows how things then stood in -Austria can form some idea of my recklessness when I say that I once -went so far as to cause our symposium in the public room to bellow the -Marseillaise out loud into the night. Therefore, when after this heroic -exploit was over, and while I was undressing, I clambered on the outer -ledges of the windows from one room to the other on the second floor, I -naturally horrified those who did not know of the love of acrobatic -feats which I had cultivated in my earliest boyhood. - -Even if I had exposed myself without fear to such dangers, I was soon -sobered down next morning by a summons from the police. When, in -addition to this, I recalled the singing of the Marseillaise, I was -filled with the gravest fears. After having been detained at the -station a long time, owing to a strange misunderstanding, the upshot of -it was that the inspector who was told off to examine me found that -there was not sufficient time left for a serious hearing, and, to my -great relief, I was allowed to go after replying to a few harmless -questions concerning the intended length of my stay. Nevertheless, we -thought it advisable not to yield to the temptation of playing any more -pranks beneath the spread wings of the double eagle. - -By means of a circuitous route into which we were led by our insatiable -longing for adventures--adventures which, as a matter of fact, occurred -only in our imagination, and which to all intents and purposes were but -modest diversions on the road--we at length got back to Leipzig. And -with this return home the really cheerful period of my life as a youth -definitely closed. If, up to that time, I had not been free from -serious errors and moments of passion, it was only now that care cast -its first shadow across my path. - -My family had anxiously awaited my return in order to inform me that -the post of conductor had been offered to me by the Magdeburg Theatre -Company. This company during the current summer month was performing at -a watering place called Lauchstadt. The manager could not get on with -an incompetent conductor that had been sent to him, and in his -extremity had applied to Leipzig in the hope of getting a substitute -forthwith. Stegmayer, the conductor, who had no inclination to practise -my score Feen during the hot summer weather, as he had promised to do, -promptly recommended me for the post, and in that way really managed to -shake off a very troublesome tormentor. For although, on the one hand, -I really desired to be able to abandon myself freely and without -restraint to the torrent of adventures that constitute the artist's -life, yet a longing for independence, which could be won only by my -earning my own living, had been greatly strengthened in me by the state -of my affairs. Albeit, I had the feeling that a solid basis for the -gratification of this desire was not to be laid in Lauchstadt; nor did -I find it easy to assist the plot concocted against the production of -my Feen. I therefore determined to make a preliminary visit to the -place just to see how things stood. - -This little watering-place had, in the days of Goethe and Schiller, -acquired a very wide reputation, its wooden theatre had been built -according to the design of the former, and the first performance of the -Braut von Messina had been given there. But although I repeated all -this to myself, the place made me feel rather doubtful. I asked for the -house of the director of the theatre. He proved to be out, but a small -dirty boy, his son, was told to take me to the theatre to find 'Papa.' -Papa, however, met us on the way. He was an elderly man; he wore a -dressing-gown, and on his head a cap. His delight at greeting me was -interrupted by complaints about a serious indisposition, for which his -son was to fetch him a cordial from a shop close by. Before despatching -the boy on this errand he pressed a real silver penny into his hand -with a certain ostentation which was obviously for my benefit. This -person was Heinrich Bethmann, surviving husband of the famous actress -of that name, who, having lived in the heyday of the German stage, had -won the favour of the King of Prussia; and won it so lastingly, that -long after her death it had continued to be extended to her spouse. He -always drew a nice pension from the Prussian court, and permanently -enjoyed its support without ever being able to forfeit its protection -by his irregular and dissipated ways. - -At the time of which I am speaking he had sunk to his lowest, owing to -continued theatre management. His speech and manners revealed the -sugary refinement of a bygone day, while all that he did and everything -about him testified to the most shameful neglect. He took me back to -his house, where he presented me to his second wife, who, crippled in -one foot, lay on an extraordinary couch while an elderly bass, -concerning whose excessive devotion Bethmann had already complained to -me quite openly, smoked his pipe beside her. From there the director -took me to his stage manager, who lived in the same house. - -With the latter, who was just engaged in a consultation about the -repertory with the theatre attendant, a toothless old skeleton, he left -me to settle the necessary arrangements. As soon as Bethmann had gone, -Schmale, the stage manager, shrugged his shoulders and smiled, assuring -me that that was just the way of the director, to put everything on his -back and trouble himself about nothing. There he had been sitting for -over an hour, discussing with Kroge what should be put on next Sunday: -it was all very well his starting Don Juan, but how could he get a -rehearsal carried out, when the Merseburg town bandsmen, who formed the -orchestra, would not come over on Saturday to rehearse? - -All the time Schmale kept reaching out through the open window to a -cherry tree from which he picked and persistently ate the fruit, -ejecting the stones with a disagreeable noise. Now it was this last -circumstance in particular which decided me; for, strange to say, I -have an innate aversion from fruit. I informed the stage manager that -he need not trouble at all about Don Juan for Sunday, since for my -part, if they had reckoned on my making my first appearance at this -performance, I must anyhow disappoint the director, as I had no choice -but to return at once to Leipzig, where I had to put my affairs in -order. This polite manner of tendering my absolute refusal to accept -the appointment--a conclusion I had quickly arrived at in my own -mind--forced me to practise some dissimulation, and made it necessary -for me to appear as if I really had some other purpose in coming to -Lauchstadt. This pretence in itself was quite unnecessary, seeing that -I was quite determined never to return there again. - -People offered to help me in finding a lodging, and a young actor whom -I had chanced to know at Wurzburg undertook to be my guide in the -matter. While he was taking me to the best lodging he knew, he told me -that presently he would do me the kindness of making me the housemate -of the prettiest and nicest girl to be found in the place at the time. -She was the junior lead of the company, Mademoiselle Minna Planer, of -whom doubtless I had already heard. - -As luck would have it, the promised damsel met us at the door of the -house in question. Her appearance and bearing formed the most striking -contrast possible to all the unpleasant impressions of the theatre -which it had been my lot to receive on this fateful morning. Looking -very charming and fresh, the young actress's general manner and -movements were full of a certain majesty and grave assurance which lent -an agreeable and captivating air of dignity to her otherwise pleasant -expression. Her scrupulously clean and tidy dress completed the -startling effect of the unexpected encounter. After I had been -introduced to her in the hall as the new conductor, and after she had -done regarding with astonishment the stranger who seemed so young for -such a title, she recommended me kindly to the landlady of the house, -and begged that I might be well looked after; whereupon she walked -proudly and serenely across the street to her rehearsal. - -I engaged a room on the spot, agreed to Don Juan for Sunday, regretted -greatly that I had not brought my luggage with me from Leipzig, and -hastened to return thither as quickly as possible in order to get back -to Lauchstadt all the sooner. The die was cast. The serious side of -life at once confronted me in the form of significant experiences. At -Leipzig I had to take a furtive leave of Laube. At the instance of -Prussia he had been warned off Saxon soil, and he half guessed at the -meaning which was to be attached to this move. The time of undisguised -reaction against the Liberal movement of the early 'thirties had set -in: the fact that Laube was concerned in no sort of political work, but -had devoted himself merely to literary activity, always aiming simply -at aesthetic objects, made the action of the police quite -incomprehensible to us for the time being. The disgusting ambiguity -with which the Leipzig authorities answered all his questions as to the -cause of his expulsion soon gave him the strongest suspicions as to -what their intentions towards him actually were. - -Leipzig, as the scene of his literary labours, being inestimably -precious, it mattered greatly to him to keep within reach of it. My -friend Apel owned a fine estate on Prussian soil, within but a few -hours' distance of Leipzig, and we conceived the wish of seeing Laube -hospitably harboured there. My friend, who without infringing the legal -stipulations was in a position to give the persecuted man a place of -refuge, immediately assented, and with great readiness, to our desire, -but confessed to us next day, after having communicated with his -family, that he thought he might incur some unpleasantnesses if he -entertained Laube. At this the latter smiled, and in a manner I shall -never forget, though I have noticed in the course of my life that the -expression which I then saw in his face was one which has often flitted -over my own features. He took his leave, and in a short time we heard -that he had been arrested, owing to having undertaken fresh proceedings -against former members of the Burschenschaft (Students' League), and -had been lodged in the municipal prison at Berlin. I had thus had two -experiences which weighed me down like lead, so I packed my scanty -portmanteau, took leave of my mother and sister, and, with a stout -heart, started on my career as a conductor. - -In order to be able to look upon the little room under Minna's lodging -as my new home, I was forced also to make the best of Bethmann's -theatrical enterprise. As a matter of fact, a performance of Don Juan -was given at once, for the director, who prided himself on being a -connoisseur of things artistic, suggested that opera to me as one with -which it would be wise for an aspiring young artist, of a good family, -to make his debut. Despite the fact that, apart from some of my own -instrumental compositions, I had never yet conducted, and least of all -in opera, the rehearsal and the performance went off fairly well. Only -once or twice did discrepancies appear in the recitative of Donna Anna; -yet this did not involve me in any kind of hostility, and when I took -my place unabashed and calm for the production of Lumpaci Vagabundus, -which I had practised very thoroughly, the people generally seemed to -have gained full confidence in the theatre's new acquisition. - -The fact that I submitted without bitterness and even with some -cheerfulness to this unworthy use of my musical talent, was due less to -my taste being at this period, as I called it, in its salad days, than -to my intercourse with Minna Planer, who was employed in that magic -trifle as the Amorous Fairy. Indeed, in the midst of this dust-cloud of -frivolity and vulgarity, she always seemed very much like a fairy, the -reasons of whose descent into this giddy whirl, which of a truth seemed -neither to carry her away nor even to affect her, remained an absolute -mystery. For while I could discover nothing in the opera singers save -the familiar stage caricatures and grimaces, this fair actress differed -wholly from those about her in her unaffected soberness and dainty -modesty, as also in the absence of all theatrical pretence and -stiltedness. There was only one young man whom I could place beside -Minna on the ground of qualities like those I recognised in her. This -fellow was Friedrich Schmitt, who had only just adopted the stage as a -career in the hope of making a 'hit' in opera, to which, as the -possessor of an excellent tenor voice, he felt himself called. He too -differed from the rest of the company, especially in the earnestness -which he brought to bear upon his studies and his work in general: the -soulful manly pitch of his chest voice, his clear, noble enunciation -and intelligent rendering of his words, have always remained as -standards in my memory. Owing to the fact that he was wholly devoid of -theatrical talent, and acted clumsily and awkwardly, a check was soon -put to his progress, but he always remained dear to me as a clever and -original man of trustworthy and upright character--my only associate. - -But my dealings with my kind housemate soon became a cherished habit, -while she returned the ingenuously impetuous advances of the conductor -of one-and-twenty with a certain tolerant astonishment which, remote as -it was from all coquetry and ulterior motives, soon made familiar and -friendly intercourse possible with her. When, one evening, I returned -late to my ground-floor room, by climbing through the window, for I had -no latch-key, the noise of my entry brought Minna to her window just -over mine. Standing on my window ledge I begged her to allow me to bid -her good-night once more. She had not the slightest objection to this, -but declared it must be done from the window, as she always had her -door locked by the people of the house, and nobody could get in that -way. She kindly facilitated the handshake by leaning far out of her -window, so that I could take her hand as I stood on my ledge. When -later on I had an attack of erysipelas, from which I often suffered, -and with my face all swollen and frightfully distorted concealed myself -from the world in my gloomy room, Minna visited me repeatedly, nursed -me, and assured me that my distorted features did not matter in the -least. On recovering, I paid her a visit and complained of a rash that -had remained round my mouth, and which seemed so unpleasant that I -apologised for showing it to her. This also she made light of. Then I -inferred she would not give me a kiss, whereupon she at once gave me -practical proof that she did not shrink from that either. - -This was all done with a friendly serenity and composure that had -something almost motherly about it, and it was free from all suggestion -of frivolity or of heartlessness. In a few weeks the company had to -leave Lauchstadt to proceed to Rudolstadt and fulfil a special -engagement there. I was particularly anxious to make this journey, -which in those days was an arduous undertaking, in Minna's company, and -if only I had succeeded in getting my well-earned salary duly paid by -Bethmann, nothing would have hindered the fulfilment of my wish. But in -this matter I encountered exceptional difficulties, which in the course -of eventful years grew in chronic fashion into the strangest of -ailments. Even at Lauchstadt I had discovered that there was only one -man who drew his salary in full, namely the bass Kneisel, whom I had -seen smoking his pipe beside the couch of the director's lame wife. I -was assured that if I cared greatly about getting some of my wages from -time to time, I could obtain this favour only by paying court to Mme. -Bethmann. This time I preferred once more to appeal to my family for -help, and therefore travelled to Rudolstadt through Leipzig, where, to -the sad astonishment of my mother, I had to replenish my coffer with -the necessary supplies. On the way to Leipzig I had travelled with Apel -through his estate, he having fetched me from Lauchstadt for the -purpose. His arrival was fixed in my memory by a noisy banquet which my -wealthy friend gave at the hotel in my honour. It was on this occasion -that I and one of the other guests succeeded in completely destroying a -huge, massively built Dutch-tile stove, such as we had in our room at -the inn. Next morning none of us could understand how it had happened. - -It was on this journey to Rudolstadt that I first passed through -Weimar, where on a rainy day I strolled with curiosity, but without -emotion, towards Goethe's house. I had pictured something rather -different, and thought I should experience livelier impressions from -the active theatre life of Rudolstadt, to which I felt strongly -attracted. In spite of the fact that I was not to be conductor myself, -this post having been entrusted to the leader of the royal orchestra, -who had been specially engaged for our performances, yet I was so fully -occupied with rehearsals for the many operas and musical comedies -required to regale the frivolous public of the principality that I -found no leisure for excursions into the charming regions of this -little land. In addition to these severe and ill-paid labours, two -passions held me chained during the six weeks of my stay in Rudolstadt. -These were, first, a longing to write the libretto of Liebesverbot; and -secondly, my growing attachment to Minna. It is true, I sketched out a -musical composition about this time, a symphony in E major, whose first -movement (3/4 time) I completed as a separate piece. As regards style -and design, this work was suggested by Beethoven's Seventh and Eighth -Symphonies, and, so far as I can remember, I should have had no need to -be ashamed of it, had I been able to complete it, or keep the part I -had actually finished. But I had already begun at this time to form the -opinion that, to produce anything fresh and truly noteworthy in the -realm of symphony, and according to Beethoven's methods, was an -impossibility. Whereas opera, to which I felt inwardly drawn, though I -had no real example I wished to copy, presented itself to my mind in -varied and alluring shapes as a most fascinating form of art. Thus, -amid manifold and passionate agitations, and in the few leisure hours -which were left to me, I completed the greater part of my operatic -poem, taking infinitely more pains, both as regards words and -versification, than with the text of my earlier Feen. Moreover, I found -myself possessed of incomparably greater assurance in the arrangement -and partial invention of situations than when writing that earlier work. - -On the other hand, I now began for the first time to experience the -cares and worries of a lover's jealousy. A change, to me inexplicable, -manifested itself in Minna's hitherto unaffected and gentle manner -towards me. It appears that my artless solicitations for her favour, by -which at that time I meant nothing serious, and in which a man of the -world would merely have seen the exuberance of a youthful and easily -satisfied infatuation, had given rise to certain remarks and comments -upon the popular actress. I was astonished to learn, first from her -reserved manner, and later from her own lips, that she felt compelled -to inquire into the seriousness of my intentions, and to consider their -consequences. She was at that time, as I had already discovered, on -very intimate terms with a young nobleman, whose acquaintance I first -made in Lauchstadt, where he used to visit her. I had already realised -on that occasion that he was unfeignedly and cordially attached to her; -in fact, in the circle of her friends she was regarded as engaged to -Herr von O., although it was obvious that marriage was out of the -question, as the young lover was quite without means, and owing to the -high standing of his family it was essential that he should sacrifice -himself to a marriage of convenience, both on account of his social -position and of the career which he would have to adopt. During this -stay at Rudolstadt Minna appears to have gathered certain information -on this point which troubled and depressed her, thus rendering her more -inclined to treat my impetuous attempts at courtship with cool reserve. - -After mature deliberation I recognised that, in any case, Young Europe, -Ardinghello, and Liebesverbot could not be produced at Rudolstadt; but -it was a very different matter for the Fee Amorosa, with its merry -theatrical mood, and an Ehrlicher Burger Kind to seek a decent -livelihood. Therefore, greatly discouraged, I proceeded to accentuate -the more extravagant situations of my Liebesverbot by rioting with a -few comrades in the sausage-scented atmosphere of the Rudolstadt -Vogelwiese. At this time my troubles again brought me more or less into -contact with the vice of gambling, although on this occasion it only -cast temporary fetters about me in the very harmless form of the dice -and roulette-tables out on the open market-place. - -We were looking forward to the time when we should leave Rudolstadt for -the half-yearly winter season at the capital, Magdeburg, mainly because -I should there resume my place at the head of the orchestra, and might -in any case count on a better reward for my musical efforts. But before -returning to Magdeburg I had to endure a trying interval at Bernburg, -where Bethmann, the director, in addition to his other undertakings, -had also promised sundry theatrical performances. During our brief stay -in the town I had to arrange for the presentation, with a mere fraction -of the company, of several operas, which were again to be conducted by -the royal conductor of the place. But in addition to these professional -labours, I had to endure such a meagre, ill-provided and grievously -farcical existence as was enough to disgust me, if not for ever, at any -rate for the time being, with the wretched profession of a theatrical -conductor. Yet I survived even this, and Magdeburg was destined to lead -me eventually to the real glory of my adopted profession. - -The sensation of sitting in command at the very conductor's desk from -which, not many years before, the great master Kuhnlein had so moved -the perplexed young enthusiast by the weighty wisdom of his musical -directorship, was not without its charm for me, and, indeed, I very -quickly succeeded in obtaining perfect confidence in conducting an -orchestra. I was soon a persona grata with the excellent musicians of -the orchestra. Their splendid combination in spirited overtures, which, -especially towards the finale, I generally took at an unheard-of speed, -often earned for us all the intoxicating applause of the public. The -achievements of my fiery and often exuberant zeal won me recognition -from the singers, and were greeted by the audience with rapturous -appreciation. As in Magdeburg, at least in those days, the art of -theatrical criticism was but slightly developed, this universal -satisfaction was a great encouragement, and at the end of the first -three months of my Magdeburg conductorship I felt sustained by the -flattering and comforting assurance that I was one of the bigwigs of -opera. Under these circumstances, Schmale, the stage manager, who has -been my good friend ever since, proposed a special gala performance for -New Year's Day, which he felt sure would be a triumph. I was to compose -the necessary music. This was very speedily done; a rousing overture, -several melodramas and choruses were all greeted with enthusiasm, and -brought us such ample applause that we repeated the performance with -great success, although such repetitions after the actual gala day were -quite contrary to usage. - -With the new year (1835) there came a decisive turning-point in my -life. After the rupture between Minna and myself at Rudolstadt, we had -been to some extent lost to one another; but our friendship was resumed -on our meeting again in Magdeburg; this time, however, it remained cool -and purposely indifferent. When she first appeared in the town, a year -before, her beauty had attracted considerable notice, and I now learned -that she was the object of great attention from several young noblemen, -and had shown herself not unmoved by the compliment implied by their -visits. Although her reputation, thanks to her absolute discretion and -self-respect, remained beyond reproach, my objection to her receiving -such attentions grew very strong, owing possibly, in some degree, to -the memory of the sorrows I had endured in Pachta's house in Prague. -Although Minna assured me that the conduct of these gentlemen was much -more discreet and decent than that of theatre-goers of the bourgeois -class, and especially than that of certain young musical conductors, -she never succeeded in soothing the bitterness and insistence with -which I protested against her acceptance of such attentions. So we -spent three unhappy months in ever-increasing estrangement, and at the -same time, in half-frantic despair, I pretended to be fond of the most -undesirable associates, and acted in every way with such blatant levity -that Minna, as she told me afterwards, was filled with the deepest -anxiety and solicitude concerning me. Moreover, as the ladies of the -opera company were not slow to pay court to their youthful conductor, -and especially as one young woman, whose reputation was not spotless, -openly set her cap at me, this anxiety of Minna's seems at last to have -culminated in a definite decision. I hit upon the idea of treating the -elite of our opera company to oysters and punch in my own room on New -Year's Eve. The married couples were invited, and then came the -question whether Fraulein Planer would consent to take part in such a -festivity. She accepted quite ingenuously, and presented herself, as -neatly and becomingly dressed as ever, in my bachelor apartments, where -things soon grew pretty lively. I had already warned my landlord that -we were not likely to be very quiet, and reassured him as to any -possible damage to his furniture. What the champagne failed to -accomplish, the punch eventually succeeded in doing; all the restraints -of petty conventionality, which the company usually endeavoured to -observe, were cast aside, giving place to an unreserved demeanour all -round, to which no one objected. And then it was that Minna's queenly -dignity distinguished her from all her companions. She never lost her -self-respect; and whilst no one ventured to take the slightest liberty -with her, every one very clearly recognised the simple candour with -which she responded to my kindly and solicitous attentions. They could -not fail to see that the link existing between us was not to be -compared to any ordinary liaison, and we had the satisfaction of seeing -the flighty young lady who had so openly angled for me fall into a fit -over the discovery. - -From that time onward I remained permanently on the best of terms with -Minna. I do not believe that she ever felt any sort of passion or -genuine love for me, or, indeed, that she was capable of such a thing, -and I can therefore only describe her feeling for me as one of -heartfelt goodwill, and the sincerest desire for my success and -prosperity, inspired as she was with the kindest sympathy, and genuine -delight at, and admiration for, my talents. All this at last became -part of her nature. She obviously had a very favourable opinion of my -abilities, though she was surprised at the rapidity of my success. My -eccentric nature, which she knew so well how to humour pleasantly by -her gentleness, stimulated her to the continual exercise of the power, -so flattering to her own vanity, and without ever betraying any desire -or ardour herself, she never met my impetuous advances with coldness. - -At the Magdeburg theatre I had already made the acquaintance of a very -interesting woman called Mme. Haas. She was an actress, no longer in -her first youth, and played so-called 'chaperone's parts.' This lady -won my sympathy by telling me she had been friendly ever since her -youth with Laube, in whose destiny she continued to take a heartfelt -and cordial interest. She was clever, but far from happy, and an -unprepossessing exterior, which with the lapse of years grew more -uninviting, did not tend to make her any happier. She lived in meagre -circumstances, with one child, and appeared to remember her better days -with a bitter grief. My first visit to her was paid merely to inquire -after Laube's fate, but I soon became a frequent and familiar caller. -As she and Minna speedily became fast friends, we three often spent -pleasant evenings talking together. But when, later on, a certain -jealousy manifested itself on the part of the elder woman towards the -younger, our confidential relations were more or less disturbed, for it -particularly grieved me to hear Minna's talents and mental gifts -criticised by the other. One evening I had promised Minna to have tea -with her and Mme. Haas, but I had thoughtlessly promised to go to a -whist party first. This engagement I purposely prolonged, much as it -wearied me, in the deliberate hope that her companion--who had already -grown irksome to me--might have left before my arrival. The only way in -which I could do this was by drinking hard, so that I had the very -unusual experience of rising from a sober whist party in a completely -fuddled condition, into which I had imperceptibly fallen, and in which -I refused to believe. This incredulity deluded me into keeping my -engagement for tea, although it was so late. To my intense disgust the -elder woman was still there when I arrived, and her presence at once -had the effect of rousing my tipsiness to a violent outbreak; for she -seemed astonished at my rowdy and unseemly behaviour, and made several -remarks upon it intended for jokes, whereupon I scoffed at her in the -coarsest manner, so that she immediately left the house in high -dudgeon. I had still sense enough to be conscious of Minna's astonished -laughter at my outrageous conduct. As soon as she realised, however, -that my condition was such as to render my removal impossible without -great commotion, she rapidly formed a resolution which must indeed have -cost her an effort, though it was carried out with the utmost calmness -and good-humour. She did all she could for me, and procured me the -necessary relief, and when I sank into a heavy slumber, unhesitatingly -resigned her own bed to my use. There I slept until awakened by the -wonderful grey of dawn. On recognising where I was, I at once realised -and grew ever more convinced of the fact that this morning's sunrise -marked the starting-point of an infinitely momentous period of my life. -The demon of care had at last entered into my existence. - -Without any light-hearted jests, without gaiety or joking of any -description, we breakfasted quietly and decorously together, and at an -hour when, in view of the compromising circumstances of the previous -evening, we could set out without attracting undue notice, I set off -with Minna for a long walk beyond the city gates. Then we parted, and -from that day forward freely and openly gratified our desires as an -acknowledged pair of lovers. - -The peculiar direction which my musical activities had gradually taken -continued to receive ever fresh impetus, not only from the successes, -but also from the disasters which about this time befell my efforts. I -produced the overture to my Feen with very satisfactory results at a -concert given by the Logengesellschaft, and thereby earned considerable -applause. On the other hand, news came from Leipzig confirming the -shabby action of the directors of the theatre in that place with regard -to the promised presentation of this opera. But, happily for me, I had -begun the music for my Liebesverbot, an occupation which so absorbed my -thoughts that I lost all interest in the earlier work, and abstained -with proud indifference from all further effort to secure its -performance in Leipzig. The success of its overture alone amply repaid -me for the composition of my first opera. - -Meanwhile, in spite of numerous other distractions, I found time, -during the brief six months of this theatrical season in Magdeburg, to -complete a large portion of my new opera, besides doing other work. I -ventured to introduce two duets from it at a concert given in the -theatre, and their reception encouraged me to proceed hopefully with -the rest of the opera. - -During the second half of this season my friend Apel came to sun -himself enthusiastically in the splendour of my musical directorship. -He had written a drama, Columbus, which I recommended to our management -for production. This was a peculiarly easy favour to win, as Apel -volunteered to have a new scene, representing the Alhambra, painted at -his own expense. Besides this, he proposed to effect many welcome -improvements in the condition of the actors taking part in his play; -for, owing to the continued preference displayed by the directress for -Kneisel, the bass, they had all suffered very much from uncertainty -about their wages. The piece itself appeared to me to contain much that -was good. It described the difficulties and struggles of the great -navigator before he set sail on his first voyage of discovery. The -drama ended with the momentous departure of his ships from the harbour -of Palos, an episode whose results are known to all the world. At my -desire Apel submitted his play to my uncle Adolph, and even in his -critical opinion it was remarkable for its lively and characteristic -popular scenes. On the other hand, a love romance, which he had woven -into the plot, struck me as unnecessary and dull. In addition to a -brief chorus for some Moors who were expelled from Granada, to be sung -on their departure from the familiar home country, and a short -orchestral piece by way of conclusion, I also dashed off an overture -for my friend's play. I sketched out the complete draft of this one -evening at Minna's house, while Apel was left free to talk to her as -much and as loudly as he liked. The effect this composition was -calculated to produce rested on a fundamental idea which was quite -simple, yet startling in its development. Unfortunately I worked it out -rather hurriedly. In not very carefully chosen phrasing the orchestra -was to represent the ocean, and, as far as might be, the ship upon it. -A forcible, pathetically yearning and aspiring theme was the only -comprehensible idea amid the swirl of enveloping sound. When the whole -had been repeated, there was a sudden jump to a different theme in -extreme pianissimo, accompanied by the swelling vibrations of the first -violins, which was intended to represent a Fata Morgana. I had secured -three pairs of trumpets in different keys, in order to produce this -exquisite, gradually dawning and seductive theme with the utmost -niceties of shade and variety of modulation. This was intended to -represent the land of desire towards which the hero's eyes are turned, -and whose shores seem continually to rise before him only to sink -elusively beneath the waves, until at last they soar in very deed above -the western horizon, the crown of all his toil and search, and stand -clearly and unmistakably revealed to all the sailors, a vast continent -of the future. My six trumpets were now to combine in one key, in order -that the theme assigned to them might re-echo in glorious jubilation. -Familiar as I was with the excellence of the Prussian regimental -trumpeters, I could rely upon a startling effect, especially in this -concluding passage. My overture astonished every one, and was -tumultuously applauded. The play itself, however, was acted without -dignity. A conceited comedian, named Ludwig Meyer, completely ruined -the title part, for which he excused himself on the ground that, having -to act as stage manager also, he had been unable to commit his lines to -memory. Nevertheless, he managed to enrich his wardrobe with several -splendid costumes at Apel's expense, wearing them, as Columbus, one -after the other. At all events, Apel had lived to see a play of his own -actually performed, and although this was never repeated, yet it -afforded me an opportunity of increasing my personal popularity with -the people of Magdeburg, as the overture was several times repeated at -concerts by special request. - -But the chief event of this theatrical season occurred towards its -close. I induced Mme. Schroder-Devrient, who was staying in Leipzig, to -come to us for a few special performances, when, on two occasions, I -had the great satisfaction and stimulating experience of myself -conducting the operas in which she sang, and thus entering into -immediate artistic collaboration with her. She appeared as Desdemona -and Romeo. In the latter role particularly she surpassed herself, and -kindled a fresh flame in my breast. This visit brought us also into -closer personal contact. So kindly disposed and sympathetic did she -show herself towards me, that she even volunteered to lend me her -services at a concert which I proposed to give for my own benefit, -although this would necessitate her returning after a brief absence. -Under circumstances so auspicious I could only expect the best possible -results from my concert, and in my situation at that time its proceeds -were a matter of vital importance to me. My scanty salary from the -Magdeburg opera company had become altogether illusory, being paid only -in small and irregular instalments, so that I could see but one way of -meeting my daily expenses. These included frequent entertainment of a -large circle of friends, consisting of singers and players, and the -situation had become unpleasantly accentuated by no small number of -debts. True, I did not know their exact amount; but reckoned that I -could at least form an advantageous, if indefinite, estimate of the sum -to be realized by my concert, whereby the two unknown quantities might -balance each other. I therefore consoled my creditors with the tale of -these fabulous receipts, which were to pay them all in full the day -after the concert. I even went so far as to invite them to come and be -paid at the hotel to which I had moved at the close of the season. - -And, indeed, there was nothing unreasonable in my counting on the -highest imaginable receipts, when supported by so great and popular a -singer, who, moreover, was returning to Magdeburg on purpose for the -event. I consequently acted with reckless prodigality as regards cost, -launching out into all manner of musical extravagance, such as engaging -an excellent and much larger orchestra, and arranging many rehearsals. -Unfortunately for me, however, nobody would believe that such a famous -actress, whose time was so precious, would really return again to -please a little Magdeburg conductor. My pompous announcement of her -appearance was almost universally regarded as a deceitful manoeuvre, -and people took offence at the high prices charged for seats. The -result was that the hall was only very scantily filled, a fact which -particularly grieved me on account of my generous patroness. Her -promise I had never doubted. Punctually on the day appointed she -reappeared to support me, and now had the painful and unaccustomed -experience of performing before a small audience. Fortunately, she -treated the matter with great good-humour (which, I learned later, was -prompted by other motives, not personally concerning me). Among several -pieces she sang Beethoven's Adelaide most exquisitely, wherein, to my -own astonishment, I accompanied her on the piano. But, alas! another -and more unexpected mishap befell my concert, through our unfortunate -selection of pieces. Owing to the excessive reverberation of the saloon -in the Hotel 'The City of London,' the noise was unbearable. My -Columbus Overture, with its six trumpets, had early in the evening -filled the audience with terror; and now, at the end, came Beethoven's -Schlacht bei Vittoria, for which, in enthusiastic expectation of -limitless receipts, I had provided every imaginable orchestral luxury. -The firing of cannon and musketry was organised with the utmost -elaboration, on both the French and English sides, by means of -specially constructed and costly apparatus; while trumpets and bugles -had been doubled and trebled. Then began a battle, such as has seldom -been more cruelly fought in a concert-room. The orchestra flung itself, -so to speak, upon the scanty audience with such an overwhelming -superiority of numbers that the latter speedily gave up all thought of -resistance and literally took to flight. Mme. Schroder-Devrient had -kindly taken a front seat, that she might hear the concert to an end. -Much as she may have been inured to terrors of this kind, this was more -than she could stand, even out of friendship for me. When, therefore, -the English made a fresh desperate assault upon the French position, -she took to flight, almost wringing her hands. Her action became the -signal for a panic-stricken stampede. Every one rushed out; and -Wellington's victory was finally celebrated in a confidential outburst -between myself and the orchestra alone. Thus ended this wonderful -musical festival. Schroder-Devrient at once departed, deeply regretting -the ill-success of her well-meant effort, and kindly left me to my -fate. After seeking comfort in the arms of my sorrowing sweetheart, and -attempting to nerve myself for the morrow's battle, which did not seem -likely to end in a victorious symphony, I returned next morning to the -hotel. I found I could only reach my rooms by running the gauntlet -between long rows of men and women in double file, who had all been -specially invited thither for the settlement of their respective -affairs. Reserving the right to select individuals from among my -visitors for separate interview, I first of all led in the second -trumpeter of the orchestra, whose duty it had been to look after the -cash and the music. From his account I learned that, owing to the high -fees which, in my generous enthusiasm, I had promised to the orchestra, -a few more shillings and sixpences would still have to come out of my -own pocket to meet these charges alone. When this was settled, the -position of affairs was plain. The next person I invited to come in was -Mme. Gottschalk, a trustworthy Jewess, with whom I wanted to come to -some arrangement respecting the present crisis. She perceived at once -that more than ordinary help was required in this case, but did not -doubt that I should be able to obtain it from my opulent connections in -Leipzig. She undertook, therefore, to appease the other creditors with -tranquillising assurances, and railed, or pretended to rail, against -their indecent conduct with great vigour. Thus at last we succeeded, -though not without some difficulty, in making the corridor outside my -door once more passable. - -The theatrical season was now over, our company on the point of -dissolution, and I myself free from my appointment. But meanwhile the -unhappy director of our theatre had passed from a state of chronic to -one of acute bankruptcy. He paid with paper money, that is to say, with -whole sheets of box-tickets for performances which he guaranteed should -take place. By dint of great craft Minna managed to extract some profit -even from these singular treasury-bonds. She was living at this time -most frugally and economically. Moreover, as the dramatic company still -continued its efforts on behalf of its members--only the opera troupe -having been dissolved--she remained at the theatre. Thus, when I -started out on my compulsory return to Leipzig, she saw me off with -hearty good-wishes for our speedy reunion, promising to spend the next -holidays in visiting her parents in Dresden, on which occasion she -hoped also to look me up in Leipzig. - -Thus it came about that early in May I once more went home to my own -folk, in order that after this abortive first attempt at civic -independence, I might finally lift the load of debt with which my -efforts in Magdeburg had burdened me. An intelligent brown poodle -faithfully accompanied me, and was entrusted to my family for food and -entertainment as the only visible property I had acquired. -Nevertheless, my mother and Rosalie succeeded in founding good hopes -for my future career upon the bare fact of my being able to conduct an -orchestra. To me, on the other hand, the thought of returning once more -to my former life with my family was very discomfiting. My relation to -Minna in particular spurred me on to resume my interrupted career as -speedily as possible. The great change which had come over me in this -respect was more apparent than ever when Minna spent a few days with me -in Leipzig on her way home. Her familiar and genial presence proclaimed -that my days of parental dependence were past and gone. We discussed -the renewal of my Magdeburg engagement, and I promised her an early -visit in Dresden. I obtained permission from my mother and sister to -invite her one evening to tea, and in this way I introduced her to my -family. Rosalie saw at once how matters stood with me, but made no -further use of the discovery than to tease me about being in love. To -her the affair did not appear dangerous; but to me things wore a very -different aspect, for this love-lorn attachment was entirely in keeping -with my independent spirit, and my ambition to win myself a place in -the world of art. - -My distaste for Leipzig itself was furthermore strengthened by a change -which occurred there at this time in the realm of music. At the very -time that I, in Magdeburg, was attempting to make my reputation as a -musical conductor by thoughtless submission to the frivolous taste of -the day, Mendelssohn-Bartholdy was conducting the Gewandhaus concerts, -and inaugurating a momentous epoch for himself and the musical taste of -Leipzig. His influence had put an end to the simple ingenuousness with -which the Leipzig public had hitherto judged the productions of its -sociable subscription concerts. Through the influence of my good old -friend Pohlenz, who was not yet altogether laid on the shelf, I managed -to produce my Columbus Overture at a benefit concert given by the -favourite young singer, Livia Gerhart. But, to my amazement, I found -that the taste of the musical public in Leipzig had been given a -different bent, which not even my rapturously applauded overture, with -its brilliant combination of six trumpets, could influence. This -experience deepened my dislike of everything approaching a classical -tone, in which sentiment I found myself in complete accord with honest -Pohlenz, who sighed good-naturedly over the downfall of the good old -times. - -Arrangements for a musical festival at Dessau, under Friedrich -Schneider's conductorship, offered me a welcome chance of quitting -Leipzig. For this journey, which could be performed on foot in seven -hours, I had to procure a passport for eight days. This document was -destined to play an important part in my life for many years to come; -for on several occasions and in various European countries it was the -only paper I possessed to prove my identity. In fact, owing to my -evasion of military duty in Saxony, I never again succeeded in -obtaining a regular pass until I was appointed musical conductor in -Dresden. I derived very little artistic pleasure or benefit of any kind -from this occasion; on the contrary, it gave a fresh impetus to my -hatred of the classical. I heard Beethoven's Symphony in C minor -conducted by a man whose physiognomy, resembling that of a drunken -satyr, filled me with unconquerable disgust. In spite of an -interminable row of contrabassi, with which a conductor usually -coquettes at musical festivals, his performance was so expressionless -and inane that I turned away in disgust as from an alarming and -repulsive problem, and desisted from all attempts to explain the -impassable gulf which, as I again perceived, yawned between my own -vivid and imaginative conception of this work and the only living -presentations of it which I had ever heard. But for the present my -tormented spirits were cheered and calmed by hearing the classical -Schneider's oratorio Absalom rendered as an absolute burlesque. - -It was in Dessau that Minna had made her first debut on the stage, and -while there I heard her spoken of by frivolous young men in the tone -usual in such circles when discussing young and beautiful actresses. My -eagerness in contradicting this chatter and confounding the -scandalmongers revealed to me more clearly than ever the strength of -the passion which drew me to her. - -I therefore returned to Leipzig without calling on my relatives, and -there procured means for an immediate journey to Dresden. On the way -(the journey was still performed by express coach) I met Minna, -accompanied by one of her sisters, already on the way back to -Magdeburg. Promptly procuring a posting ticket for the return journey -to Leipzig, I actually set off thither with my dear girl; but by the -time we reached the next station I had succeeded in persuading her to -turn back with me to Dresden. By this time the mail-coach was far ahead -of us, and we had to travel by special post-chaise. This lively -bustling to and fro seemed to astonish the two girls, and put them into -high spirits. The extravagance of my conduct had evidently roused them -to the expectation of adventures, and it now behoved me to fulfil this -expectation. Procuring from a Dresden acquaintance the necessary cash, -I conducted my two lady friends through the Saxon Alps, where we spent -several right merry days of innocent and youthful gaiety. Only once was -this disturbed by a passing fit of jealousy on my part, for which, -indeed, there was no occasion, but which fed itself in my heart on a -nervous apprehension of the future, and upon the experience I had -already gained of womenkind. Yet, despite this blot, our excursion -still lingers in my memory as the sweetest and almost sole remembrance -of unalloyed happiness in the whole of my life as a young man. One -evening in particular stands out in bright relief, during which we sat -together almost all night at the watering-place of Schandau in glorious -summer weather. Indeed, my subsequent long and anxious connection with -Minna, interwoven as it was with the most painful and bitter -vicissitudes, has often appeared to me as a persistently prolonged -expiation of the brief and harmless enjoyment of those few days. - -After accompanying Minna to Leipzig, whence she continued her journey -to Magdeburg, I presented myself to my family, but told them nothing of -my Dresden excursion. I now braced my energies, as though under the -stern compulsion of a strange and deep sense of duty, to the task of -making such arrangements as would speedily restore me to my dear one's -side. To this end a fresh engagement had to be negotiated with Director -Bethmann for the coming winter season. Unable to await the conclusion -of our contract in Leipzig, I availed myself of Laube's presence at the -baths in Kosen, near Naumburg, to pay him a visit. Laube had only -recently been discharged from the Berlin municipal gaol, after a -tormenting inquisition of nearly a year's duration. On giving his -parole not to leave the country until the verdict had been given, he -had been permitted to retire to Kosen, from which place he, one -evening, paid us a secret visit in Leipzig. I can still call his -woebegone appearance to mind. He seemed hopelessly resigned, though he -spoke cheerfully with regard to all his earlier dreams of better -things; and owing to my own worries at that time about the critical -state of my affairs, this impression still remains one of my saddest -and most painful recollections. While at Kosen I showed him a good many -of the verses for my Liebesverbot, and although he spoke coldly of my -presumption in wishing to write my own libretto, I was slightly -encouraged by his appreciation of my work. - -Meanwhile I impatiently awaited letters from Magdeburg. Not that I had -any doubt as to the renewal of my engagement; on the contrary, I had -every reason to regard myself as a good acquisition for Bethmann; but I -felt as though nothing which tended to bring me nearer to Minna could -move fast enough. As soon as I received the necessary tidings, I -hurried away to make all needful arrangements on the spot for ensuring -a magnificent success in the coming Magdeburg operatic season. - -Through the tireless munificence of the King of Prussia fresh and final -assistance had been granted to our perennially bankrupt theatrical -director. His Majesty had assigned a not inconsiderable sum to a -committee consisting of substantial Magdeburg citizens, as a subsidy to -be expended on the theatre under Bethmann's management. What this -meant, and the respect with which I thereupon regarded the artistic -conditions of Magdeburg, may be best imagined if one remembers the -neglected and forlorn surroundings amid which such provincial theatres -usually drag out their lives. I offered at once to undertake a long -journey in search of good operatic singers. I said I would find the -means for this at my own risk, and the only guarantee I demanded from -the management for eventual reimbursement was that they should assign -me the proceeds of a future benefit performance. This offer was gladly -accepted, and in pompous tones the director furnished me with the -necessary powers, and moreover gave me his parting blessing. During -this brief interval I lived once more in intimate communion with -Minna--who now had her mother with her--and then took fresh leave of -her for my venturesome enterprise. - -But when I got to Leipzig I found it by no means easy to procure the -funds, so confidently counted on when in Magdeburg, for the expenses of -my projected journey. The glamour of the royal protection of Prussia -for our theatrical undertaking, which I portrayed in the liveliest -colours to my good brother-in-law Brockhaus, quite failed to dazzle -him, and it was at the cost of great pains and humiliation that I -finally got my ship of discovery under weigh. - -I was naturally drawn first of all to my old wonderland of Bohemia. -There I merely touched at Prague and, without visiting my lovely lady -friends, I hurried forward so that I might first sample the opera -company then playing for the season at Karlsbad. Impatient to discover -as many talents as I could as soon as possible, so as not to exhaust my -funds to no purpose, I attended a performance of La Dame Blanche, -sincerely hoping to find the whole performance first class. But not -until much later did I fully realise how wretched was the quality of -all these singers. I selected one of them, a bass named Graf, who was -singing Gaveston. When in due course he made his debut at Magdeburg, he -provoked so much well-founded dissatisfaction, that I could not find a -word to say in reply to the mockery which this acquisition brought upon -me. - -But the small success with which the real object of my tour was -attended was counterbalanced by the pleasantness of the journey itself. -The trip through Eger, over the Fichtel mountains, and the entry into -Bayreuth, gloriously illuminated by the setting sun, have remained -happy memories to this day. - -My next goal was Nuremberg, where my sister Clara and her husband were -acting, and from whom I might reckon on sound information as to the -object of my search. It was particularly nice to be hospitably received -in my sister's house, where I hoped to revive my somewhat exhausted -means of travel. In this hope I reckoned chiefly upon the sale of a -snuff-box presented to me by a friend, which I had secret reasons to -suppose was made of platinum. To this I could add a gold signet-ring, -given me by my friend Apel for composing the overture to his Columbus. -The value of the snuff-box unfortunately proved to be entirely -imaginary; but by pawning these two jewels, the only ones I had left, I -hoped to provide myself with the bare necessaries for continuing my -journey to Frankfort. It was to this place and the Rhine district that -the information I had gathered led me to direct my steps. Before -leaving I persuaded my sister and brother-in-law to accept engagements -in Magdeburg; but I still lacked a first tenor and a soprano, whom -hitherto I had altogether failed to discover. - -My stay in Nuremberg was most agreeably prolonged through a renewed -meeting with Schroder-Devrient, who just at that time was fulfilling a -short engagement in that town. Meeting her again was like seeing the -clouds disperse, which, since our last meeting, had darkened my -artistic horizon. - -The Nuremberg operatic company had a very limited repertoire. Besides -Fidelio they could produce nothing save Die Schweizerfamilie, a fact -about which this great singer complained, as this was one of her first -parts sung in early youth, for which she was hardly any longer suited, -and which, in addition, she had played ad nauseam. I also looked -forward to the performance of Die Schweizerfamilie with misgivings, and -even with anxiety, for I feared lest this tame opera and the -old-fashioned sentimental part of Emmeline would weaken the great -impression the public, as well as myself, had formed up to that moment -of the work of this sublime artist. Imagine, therefore, how deeply -moved and astonished I was, on the evening of the performance, to find -that it was in this very part that I first realised the truly -transcendental genius of this extraordinary woman. That anything so -great as her interpretation of the character of the Swiss maiden could -not be handed down to posterity as a monument for all time can only be -looked upon as one of the most sublime sacrifices demanded by dramatic -art, and as one of its highest manifestations. When, therefore, such -phenomena appear, we cannot hold them in too great reverence, nor look -upon them as too sacred. - -Apart from all these new experiences which were to become of so much -value to my whole life and to my artistic development, the impressions -I received at Nuremberg, though they were apparently trivial in their -origin, left such indelible traces on my mind, that they revived within -me later on, though in quite a different and novel form. - -My brother-in-law, Wolfram, was a great favourite with the Nuremberg -theatrical world; he was witty and sociable, and as such made himself -much liked in theatrical circles. On this occasion I received -singularly delightful proofs of the spirit of extravagant gaiety -manifested on these evenings at the inn, in which I also took part. A -master carpenter, named Lauermann, a little thick-set man, no longer -young, of comical appearance and gifted only with the roughest dialect, -was pointed out to me in one of the inns visited by our friends as one -of those oddities who involuntarily contributed most to the amusement -of the local wags. Lauermann, it seems, imagined himself an excellent -singer, and as a result of this presumption, evinced interest only in -those in whom he thought he recognised a like talent. In spite of the -fact that, owing to this singular peculiarity, he became the butt of -constant jest and scornful mockery, he never failed to appear every -evening among his laughter-loving persecutors. So often had he been -laughed at and hurt by their scorn, that it became very difficult to -persuade him to give a display of his artistic skill, and this at last -could only be effected by artfully devised traps, so laid as to appeal -to his vanity. My arrival as an unknown stranger was utilised for a -manoeuvre of this kind. How poor was the opinion they held of the -unfortunate mastersinger's judgment was revealed when, to my great -amazement, my brother-in-law introduced me to him as the great Italian -singer, Lablache. To his credit I must confess that Lauermann surveyed -me for a long time with incredulous distrust, and commented with -cautious suspicion on my juvenile appearance, but especially on the -evidently tenor character of my voice. But the whole art of these -tavern associates and their principal enjoyment consisted in leading -this poor enthusiast to believe the incredible, a task on which they -spared neither time nor pains. - -My brother-in-law succeeded in making the carpenter believe that I, -while receiving fabulous sums for my performances, wished by a singular -act of dissimulation, and by visiting public inns, to withdraw from the -general public; and that, moreover, when it came to a meeting between -'Lauermann' and 'Lablache,' the only real interest could be to hear -Lauermann and not Lablache, seeing that the former had nothing to learn -from the latter, but only Lablache from him. So singular was the -conflict between incredulity, on the one hand, and keenly excited -vanity on the other, that finally the poor carpenter became really -attractive to me. I began to play the role assigned me with all the -skill I could command, and after a couple of hours, which were relieved -by the strangest antics, we at last gained our end. The wondrous -mortal, whose flashing eyes had long been fixed on me in the greatest -excitement, worked his muscles in the peculiarly fantastic fashion -which we are accustomed to associate with a music-making automaton, the -mechanism of which has been duly wound up: his lips quivered, his teeth -gnashed, his eyes rolled convulsively, until finally there broke forth, -in a hoarse oily voice, an uncommonly trivial street-ballad. Its -delivery, accompanied by a regular movement of his outstretched thumbs -behind the ears, and during which his fat face glowed the brightest -red, was unhappily greeted with a wild burst of laughter from all -present, which excited the unlucky master to the most furious wrath. -With studied cruelty this wrath was greeted by those, who until then -had shamelessly flattered him, with the most extravagant mockery, until -the poor wretch at last absolutely foamed with rage. - -As he was leaving the inn amid a hail of curses from his infamous -friends, an impulse of genuine pity prompted me to follow him, that I -might beg his forgiveness and seek in some way to pacify him, a task -all the more difficult since he was especially bitter against me as the -latest of his enemies, and the one who had so deeply deceived his eager -hope of hearing the genuine Lablache. Nevertheless, I succeeded in -stopping him on the threshold; and now the riotous company silently -entered into an extraordinary conspiracy to induce Lauermann to sing -again that very evening. How they managed this I can as little remember -as I can call to mind the effect of the spirituous liquors I imbibed. -In any case, I suspect that drink must eventually have been the means -of subduing Lauermann, just as it also rendered my own recollections of -the wonderful events of that prolonged evening at the inn extremely -vague. After Lauermann had for the second time suffered the same -mockery, the whole company felt itself bound to accompany the unhappy -man to his home. They carried him thither in a wheelbarrow, which they -found outside the house, and in this he arrived, in triumph, at his own -door, in one of those marvellous narrow alleys peculiar to the old -city. Frau Lauermann, who was aroused from slumber to receive her -husband, enabled us, by her torrent of curses, to form some idea of the -nature of their marital and domestic relations. Mockery of her -husband's vocal talents was with her also a familiar theme; but to this -she now added the most dreadful reproaches for the worthless scamps -who, by encouraging him in this delusion, kept him from profitably -following his trade, and even led him to such scenes as the present -one. Thereupon the pride of the suffering mastersinger reasserted -itself; for while his wife painfully assisted him to mount the stairs, -he harshly denied her right to sit in judgment upon his vocal gifts, -and sternly ordered her to be silent. But even now this wonderful -night-adventure was by no means over. The entire swarm moved once more -in the direction of the inn. Before the house, however, we found a -number of fellows congregated, among them several workmen, against -whom, owing to police regulations as to closing hours, the doors were -shut. But the regular guests of the house, who were of our party, and -who were on terms of old friendship with the host, thought that it was -nevertheless permissible and possible to demand entrance. The host was -troubled at having to bar his door against friends, whose voices he -recognised; yet it was necessary to prevent the new arrivals from -forcing a way in with them. Out of this situation a mighty confusion -arose, which, what with shouting and clamour and an inexplicable growth -in the number of the disputants, soon assumed a truly demoniacal -character. It seemed to me as though in a few moments the whole town -would break into a tumult, and I thought I should once more have to -witness a revolution, the real origin of which no man could comprehend. -Then suddenly I heard some one fall, and, as though by magic, the whole -mass scattered in every direction. One of the regular guests, who was -familiar with an ancient Nuremberg boxing trick, desiring to put an end -to the interminable riot and to cut his way home through the crowd, -gave one of the noisiest shouters a blow with his fist between the -eyes, laying him senseless on the ground, though without seriously -injuring him. And this it was that so speedily broke up the whole -throng. Within little more than a minute of the most violent uproar of -hundreds of human voices, my brother-in-law and I were able to stroll -arm-in-arm through the moonlit streets, quietly jesting and laughing, -on our way home; and then it was that, to my amazement and relief, he -informed me that he was accustomed to this sort of life every evening. - -At last, however, it became necessary seriously to attend to the -purpose of my journey. Only in passing did I touch at Wurzburg for a -day. I remember nothing of the meeting with my relations and -acquaintance beyond the melancholy visit to Friederike Galvani already -mentioned. On reaching Frankfort I was obliged to seek at once the -shelter of a decent hotel, in order to await there the result of my -solicitations for subsidies from the directorate of the Magdeburg -theatre. My hopes of securing the real stars of our operatic -undertaking were formed with a view to a season at Wiesbaden, where, I -was told, a good operatic company was on the point of dissolution. I -found it extremely difficult to arrange the short journey thither; yet -I managed to be present at a rehearsal of Robert der Teufel, in which -the tenor Freimuller distinguished himself. I interviewed him at once, -and found him willing to entertain my proposals for Magdeburg. We -concluded the necessary agreement, and I then returned with all speed -to my headquarters, the Weidenbusch Hotel in Frankfort. There I had to -spend another anxious week, during which I waited in vain for the -necessary travelling expenses to arrive from Magdeburg. To kill time I -had recourse, among other things, to a large red pocket-book which I -carried about with me in my portmanteau, and in which I entered, with -exact details of dates, etc., notes for my future biography--the -selfsame book which now lies before me to freshen my memory, and which -I have ever since added to at various periods of my life, without -leaving any gaps. Through the neglect of the Magdeburg managers my -situation, which was already serious, became literally desperate, when -I made an acquisition in Frankfort which gave me almost more pleasure -than I was able to bear. I had been present at a production of the -Zauberflote under the direction of Guhr, then wonderfully renowned as -'a conductor of genius,' and was agreeably surprised at the truly -excellent quality of the company. It was, of course, useless to think -of luring one of the leading stars into my net; on the other hand, I -saw clearly enough that the youthful Fraulein Limbach, who sang the -'first boy's' part, possessed a desirable talent. She accepted my offer -of an engagement, and, indeed, seemed so anxious to be rid of her -Frankfort engagement that she resolved to escape from it -surreptitiously. She revealed her plans to me, and begged me to assist -her in carrying them out; for, inasmuch as the directors might get wind -of the affair, there was no time to lose. At all events, the young lady -assumed that I had abundant credit, supplied for my official business -journey by the Magdeburg theatre committee, whose praises I had so -diligently sung. But already I had been compelled to pledge my scanty -travelling gear in order to provide for my own departure. To this point -I had persuaded the host, but now found him by no means inclined to -advance me the additional funds needed for carrying off a young singer. -To cloak the bad behaviour of my directors I was compelled to invent -some tale of misfortune, and to leave the astonished and indignant -young lady behind. Heartily ashamed of this adventure, I travelled -through rain and storm via Leipzig, where I picked up my brown poodle, -and reaching Magdeburg, there resumed my work as musical director on -the 1st of September. - -The result of my business labours gave me but little joy. The director, -it is true, proved triumphantly that he had sent five whole golden -louis to my address in Frankfort, and that my tenor and the youthful -lady-singer had also been provided with proper contracts, but not with -the fares and advances demanded. Neither of them came; only the basso -Graf arrived with pedantic punctuality from Karlsbad, and immediately -provoked the chaff of our theatrical wags. He sang at a rehearsal of -the Schweizerfamilie with such a schoolmasterly drone that I completely -lost my composure. The arrival of my excellent brother-in-law Wolfram -with my sister Clara was of more advantage for musical comedy than for -grand opera, and caused me considerable trouble into the bargain; for, -being honest folk and used to decent living, they speedily perceived -that, in spite of royal protection, the condition of the theatre was -but very insecure, as was natural under so unscrupulous a management as -that of Bethmann, and recognised with alarm that they had seriously -compromised their family position. My courage had already begun to sink -when a happy chance brought us a young woman, Mme. Pollert (nee -Zeibig), who was passing through Magdeburg with her husband, an actor, -in order to fulfil a special engagement in that town; she was gifted -with a beautiful voice, was a talented singer, and well suited for the -chief roles. Necessity had at last driven the directors to action, and -at the eleventh hour they sent for the tenor Freimuller. But I was -particularly gratified when the love which had arisen between him and -young Limbach in Frankfort enabled the enterprising tenor to carry away -this singer, to whom I had behaved so miserably. Both arrived radiant -with joy. Along with them we engaged Mme. Pollert, who, in spite of her -pretentiousness, met with favour from the public. A well-trained and -musically competent baritone, Herr Krug, afterwards the conductor of a -choir in Karlsruhe, had also been discovered, so that all at once I -stood at the head of a really good operatic company, among which the -basso Graf could be fitted in only with great difficulty, by being kept -as much as possible in the background. We succeeded quickly with a -series of operatic performances which were by no means ordinary, and -our repertory included everything of this nature that had ever been -written for the theatre. I was particularly pleased with the -presentation of Spohr's Jessonda, which was truly not without -sublimity, and raised us high in the esteem of all cultured lovers of -music. I was untiring in my endeavours to discover some means of -elevating our performances above the usual level of excellence -compatible with the meagre resources of provincial theatres. I -persistently fell foul of the director Bethmann by strengthening my -orchestra, which he had to pay; but, on the other hand, I won his -complete goodwill by strengthening the chorus and the theatre music, -which cost him nothing, and which lent such splendour to our -presentations that subscriptions and audiences increased enormously. -For instance, I secured the regimental band, and also the military -singers, who in the Prussian army are admirably organised, and who -assisted in our performances in return for free passes to the gallery -granted to their relatives. Thus I managed to furnish with the utmost -completeness the specially strong orchestral accompaniment demanded by -the score of Bellini's Norma, and was able to dispose of a body of male -voices for the impressive unison portion of the male chorus in the -introduction of that work such as even the greatest theatres could -rarely command. In later years I was able to assure Auber, whom I often -met over an ice in Tortoni's cafe in Paris, that in his Lestocq I had -been able to render the part of the mutinous soldiery, when seduced -into conspiracy, with an absolutely full number of voices, a fact for -which he thanked me with astonishment and delight. - -Amid such circumstances of encouragement the composition of my -Liebesverbot made rapid strides towards completion. I intended the -presentation of this piece for the benefit performance which had been -promised me as a means of defraying my expenses, and I worked hard in -the hope of improving my reputation, and at the same time of -accomplishing something by no means less desirable, and that was the -betterment of my financial position. Even the few hours which I could -snatch from business to spend at Minna's side were devoted with -unexampled zeal to the completion of my score. My diligence moved even -Minna's mother, who looked with some uneasiness upon our love affair. -She had remained over the summer on a visit to her daughter, and -managed the house for her. Owing to her interference a new and urgent -anxiety had entered into our relations, which pressed for serious -settlement. It was natural that we should begin to think of what it was -all going to lead to. I must confess that the idea of marriage, -especially in view of my youth, filled me with dismay, and without -indeed reflecting on the matter, or seriously weighing its pros and -cons, a naive and instinctive feeling prevented me even from -considering the possibility of a step which would have such serious -consequences upon my whole life. Moreover, our modest circumstances -were in so alarming and uncertain a state that even Minna declared that -she was more anxious to see these improved than to get me to marry her. -But she was also driven to think of herself, and that promptly, for -trouble arose with regard to her own position in the Magdeburg theatre. -There she had met with a rival in her own speciality, and as this -woman's husband became chief stage manager, and consequently had -supreme power, she grew to be a source of great danger. Seeing, -therefore, that at this very moment Minna received advantageous offers -from the managers of the Konigstadt theatre in Berlin, then doing a -splendid business, she seized the opportunity to break off her -connection with the Magdeburg theatre, and thus plunged me, whom she -did not appear to consider in the matter, into the depths of despair. I -could not hinder Minna from going to Berlin to fulfil a special -engagement there, although this was not in accordance with her -agreement, and so she departed, leaving me behind, overcome with grief -and doubt as to the meaning of her conduct. At last, mad with passion, -I wrote to her urging her to return, and the better to move her and not -to separate her fate from my own, I proposed to her in a strictly -formal manner, and hinted at the hope of early marriage. About the same -time my brother-in-law, Wolfram, having quarrelled with the director -Bethmann and cancelled his contract with him, also went to the -Konigstadt theatre to fulfil a special engagement. My good sister -Clara, who had remained behind for a while amid the somewhat unpleasant -conditions of Magdeburg, soon perceived the anxious and troubled temper -in which her otherwise cheerful brother was rapidly consuming himself. -One day she thought it advisable to show me a letter from her husband, -with news from Berlin, and especially concerning Minna, in which he -earnestly deplored my passion for this girl, who was acting quite -unworthily of me. As she lodged at his hotel, he was able to observe -that not only the company she kept, but also her own conduct, were -perfectly scandalous. The extraordinary impression which this dreadful -communication made upon me decided me to abandon the reserve I had -hitherto shown towards my relatives with regard to my love affairs. I -wrote to my brother-in-law in Berlin, telling him how matters stood -with me, and that my plans greatly depended on Minna, and further, how -extremely important it was for me to learn from him the indubitable -truth concerning her of whom he had sent so evil an account. From my -brother-in-law, usually so dry and given to joking, I received a reply -which filled my heart to overflowing again. He confessed that he had -accused Minna too hastily, and regretted that he had allowed idle -chatter to influence him in founding a charge, which, on investigation, -had proved to be altogether groundless and unjust; he declared, -moreover, that on nearer acquaintance and conversation with her he had -been so fully convinced of the genuineness and uprightness of her -character, that he hoped with all his heart that I might see my way to -marry her. And now a storm raged in my heart. I implored Minna to -return at once, and was glad to learn that, for her part, she was not -inclined to renew her engagement at the Berlin theatre, as she had now -acquired a more intimate knowledge of the life there, and found it too -frivolous. All that remained, then, was for me to facilitate the -resumption of her Magdeburg engagement. To this end, therefore, at a -meeting of the theatre committee, I attacked the director and his -detested stage manager with such energy, and defended Minna against the -wrong done her by them both with such passion and fervour, that the -other members, astonished at the frank confession of my affection, -yielded to my wishes without any further ado. And now I set off by -extra post in the depth of night and in dreadful winter weather to meet -my returning sweetheart. I greeted her with tears of deepest joy, and -led her back in triumph to her cosy Magdeburg home, already become so -dear to me. - -Meanwhile, as our two lives, thus severed for a while, were being drawn -more and more closely together, I finished the score of my Liebesverbot -about New Year 1836. For the development of my future plans I depended -not a little upon the success of this work; and Minna herself seemed -not disinclined to yield to my hopes in this respect. We had reason to -be concerned as to how matters would pan out for us at the beginning of -the spring, for this season is always a bad one in which to start such -precarious theatrical enterprises. In spite of royal support and the -participation of the theatre committee in the general management of the -theatre, our worthy director's state of perennial bankruptcy suffered -no alteration, and it seemed as if his theatrical undertaking could not -possibly last much longer in any form. Nevertheless, with the help of -the really first-rate company of singers at my disposal, the production -of my opera was to mark a complete change in my unsatisfactory -circumstances. With the view of recovering the travelling expenses I -had incurred during the previous summer, I was entitled to a benefit -performance. I naturally fixed this for the presentation of my own -work, and did my utmost so that this favour granted me by the directors -should prove as inexpensive to them as possible. As they would -nevertheless be compelled to incur some expense in the production of -the new opera, I agreed that the proceeds of the first presentation -should be left to them, while I should claim only those of the second. -I did not consider it altogether unsatisfactory that the time for the -rehearsals was postponed until the very end of the season, for it was -reasonable to suppose that our company, which was often greeted with -unusual applause, would receive special attention and favour from the -public during its concluding performances. Unfortunately, however, -contrary to our expectations, we never reached the proper close of this -season, which had been fixed for the end of April; for already in -March, owing to irregularity in the payment of salaries, the most -popular members of the company, having found better employment -elsewhere, tendered their resignations to the management, and the -director, who was unable to raise the necessary cash, was compelled to -bow to the inevitable. Now, indeed, my spirits sank, for it seemed more -than doubtful whether my Liebesverbot would ever be produced at all. I -owed it entirely to the warm affection felt for me personally by all -members of the opera company, that the singers consented not only to -remain until the end of March, but also to undertake the toil of -studying and rehearsing my opera, a task which, considering the very -limited time, promised to be extremely arduous. In the event of our -having to give two representations, the time at our disposal was so -very short that, for all the rehearsals, we had but ten days before us. -And since we were concerned not with a light comedy or farce, but with -a grand opera, and one which, in spite of the trifling character of its -music, contained numerous and powerful concerted passages, the -undertaking might have been regarded almost as foolhardy. Nevertheless, -I built my hopes upon the extraordinary exertions which the singers so -willingly made in order to please me; for they studied continuously, -morning, noon, and night. But seeing that, in spite of all this, it was -quite impossible to attain to perfection, especially in the matter of -words, in the case of every one of these harassed performers, I -reckoned further on my own acquired skill as conductor to achieve the -final miracle of success. The peculiar ability I possessed of helping -the singers and of making them, in spite of much uncertainty, seem to -flow smoothly onwards, was clearly demonstrated in our orchestral -rehearsals, in which, by dint of constant prompting, loud singing with -the performers and vigorous directions as to necessary action, I got -the whole thing to run so easily that it seemed quite possible that the -performance might be a reasonable success after all. Unfortunately, we -did not consider that in front of the public all these drastic methods -of moving the dramatic and musical machinery would be restricted to the -movements of my baton and to my facial expression. As a matter of fact -the singers, and especially the men, were so extraordinarily uncertain -that from beginning to end their embarrassment crippled the -effectiveness of every one of their parts. Freimuller, the tenor, whose -memory was most defective, sought to patch up the lively and emotional -character of his badly learned rule of the madcap Luzio by means of -routine work learned in Fra Diavolo and Zampa, and especially by the -aid of an enormously thick, brightly coloured and fluttering plume of -feathers. Consequently, as the directors failed to have the book of -words printed in time, it was impossible to blame the public for being -in doubt as to the main outlines of the story, seeing that they had -only the sung words to guide them. With the exception of a few portions -played by the lady singers, which were favourably received, the whole -performance, which I had made to depend largely upon bold, energetic -action and speech, remained but a musical shadow-play, to which the -orchestra contributed its own inexplicable effusions, sometimes with -exaggerated noise. As characteristic of the treatment of my -tone-colour, I may mention that the band-master of a Prussian military -band, who, by the bye, had been well pleased with the performance, felt -it incumbent upon him to give me some well-meant hints for my future -guidance, as to the manipulation of the Turkish drum. Before I relate -the further history of this wonderful work of my youth, I will pause a -moment briefly to describe its character, and especially its poetical -elements. - -Shakespeare's play, which I kept throughout in mind as the foundation -of my story, was worked out in the following manner:-- - -An unnamed king of Sicily leaves his country, as I suggest, for a -journey to Naples, and hands over to the Regent appointed--whom I -simply call Friedrich, with the view of making him appear as German as -possible--full authority to exercise all the royal power in order to -effect a complete reform in the social habits of his capital, which had -provoked the indignation of the Council. At the opening of the play we -see the servants of the public authority busily employed either in -shutting up or in pulling down the houses of popular amusement in a -suburb of Palermo, and in carrying off the inmates, including hosts and -servants, as prisoners. The populace oppose this first step, and much -scuffling ensues. In the thickest of the throng the chief of the -sbirri, Brighella (basso-buffo), after a preliminary roll of drums for -silence, reads out the Regent's proclamation, according to which the -acts just performed are declared to be directed towards establishing a -higher moral tone in the manners and customs of the people. A general -outburst of scorn and a mocking chorus meets this announcement. Luzio, -a young nobleman and juvenile scape-grace (tenor), seems inclined to -thrust himself forward as leader of the mob, and at once finds an -occasion for playing a more active part in the cause of the oppressed -people on discovering his friend Claudio (also a tenor) being led away -to prison. From him he learns that, in pursuance of some musty old law -unearthed by Friedrich, he is to suffer the penalty of death for a -certain love escapade in which he is involved. His sweetheart, union -with whom had been prevented by the enmity of their parents, has borne -him a child. Friedrich's puritanical zeal joins cause with the parents' -hatred; he fears the worst, and sees no way of escape save through -mercy, provided his sister Isabella may be able, by her entreaties, to -melt the Regent's hard heart. Claudio implores his friend at once to -seek out Isabella in the convent of the Sisters of St. Elizabeth, which -she has recently entered as novice. There, between the quiet walls of -the convent, we first meet this sister, in confidential intercourse -with her friend Marianne, also a novice. Marianne reveals to her -friend, from whom she has long been parted, the unhappy fate which has -brought her to the place. Under vows of eternal fidelity she had been -persuaded to a secret liaison with a man of high rank. But finally, -when in extreme need she found herself not only forsaken, but -threatened by her betrayer, she discovered him to be the mightiest man -in the state, none other than the King's Regent himself. Isabella's -indignation finds vent in impassioned words, and is only pacified by -her determination to forsake a world in which so vile a crime can go -unpunished.--When now Luzio brings her tidings of her own brother's -fate, her disgust at her brother's misconduct is turned at once to -scorn for the villainy of the hypocritical Regent, who presumes so -cruelly to punish the comparatively venial offence of her brother, -which, at least, was not stained by treachery. Her violent outburst -imprudently reveals her to Luzio in a seductive aspect; smitten with -sudden love, he urges her to quit the convent for ever and to accept -his hand. She contrives to check his boldness, but resolves at once to -avail herself of his escort to the Regent's court of justice.--Here the -trial scene is prepared, and I introduce it by a burlesque hearing of -several persons charged by the sbirro captain with offences against -morality. The earnestness of the situation becomes more marked when the -gloomy form of Friedrich strides through the inrushing and unruly -crowd, commanding silence, and he himself undertakes the hearing of -Claudio's case in the sternest manner possible. The implacable judge is -already on the point of pronouncing sentence when Isabella enters, and -requests, before them all, a private interview with the Regent. In this -interview she behaves with noble moderation towards the dreaded, yet -despised man before her, and appeals at first only to his mildness and -mercy. His interruptions merely serve to stimulate her ardour: she -speaks of her brother's offence in melting accents, and implores -forgiveness for so human and by no means unpardonable a crime. Seeing -the effect of her moving appeal, she continues with increasing ardour -to plead with the judge's hard and unresponsive heart, which can -certainly not have remained untouched by sentiments such as those which -had actuated her brother, and she calls upon his memory of these to -support her desperate plea for pity. At last the ice of his heart is -broken. Friedrich, deeply stirred by Isabella's beauty, can no longer -contain himself, and promises to grant her petition at the price of her -own love. Scarcely has she become aware of the unexpected effect of her -words when, filled with indignation at such incredible villainy, she -cries to the people through doors and windows to come in, that she may -unmask the hypocrite before the world. The crowd is already rushing -tumultuously into the hall of judgment, when, by a few significant -hints, Friedrich, with frantic energy, succeeds in making Isabella -realise the impossibility of her plan. He would simply deny her charge, -boldly pretend that his offer was merely made to test her, and would -doubtless be readily believed so soon as it became only a question of -rebutting a charge of lightly making love to her. Isabella, ashamed and -confounded, recognises the madness of her first step, and gnashes her -teeth in silent despair. While then Friedrich once more announces his -stern resolve to the people, and pronounces sentence on the prisoner, -it suddenly occurs to Isabella, spurred by the painful recollection of -Marianne's fate, that what she has failed to procure by open means she -might possibly obtain by craft. This thought suffices to dispel her -sorrow, and to fill her with utmost gaiety. Turning to her sorrowing -brother, her agitated friends, and the perplexed crowd, she assures -them all that she is ready to provide them with the most amusing of -adventures. She declares that the carnival festivities, which the -Regent has just strictly forbidden, are to be celebrated this year with -unusual licence; for this dreaded ruler only pretends to be so cruel, -in order the more pleasantly to astonish them by himself taking a merry -part in all that he has just forbidden. They all believe that she has -gone mad, and Friedrich in particular reproves her incomprehensible -folly with passionate severity. But a few words on her part suffice to -transport the Regent himself with ecstasy; for in a whisper she -promises to grant his desire, and that on the following night she will -send him such a message as shall ensure his happiness.--And so ends the -first act in a whirl of excitement. - -We learn the nature of the heroine's hastily formed plan at the -beginning of the second act, in which she visits her brother in his -cell, with the object of discovering whether he is worthy of rescue. -She reveals Friedrich's shameful proposal to him, and asks if he would -wish to save his life at the price of his sister's dishonour. Then -follow Claudio's fury and fervent declaration of his readiness to die; -whereupon, bidding farewell to his sister, at least for this life, he -makes her the bearer of the most tender messages to the dear girl whom -he leaves behind. After this, sinking into a softer mood, the unhappy -man declines from a state of melancholy to one of weakness. Isabella, -who had already determined to inform him of his rescue, hesitates in -dismay when she sees him fall in this way from the heights of noble -enthusiasm to a muttered confession of a love of life still as strong -as ever, and even to a stammering query as to whether the suggested -price of his salvation is altogether impossible. Disgusted, she springs -to her feet, thrusts the unworthy man from her, and declares that to -the shame of his death he has further added her most hearty contempt. -After having handed him over again to his gaoler, her mood once more -changes swiftly to one of wanton gaiety. True, she resolves to punish -the waverer by leaving him for a time in uncertainty as to his fate; -but stands firm by her resolve to rid the world of the abominable -seducer who dared to dictate laws to his fellow-men. She tells Marianne -that she must take her place at the nocturnal rendezvous, at which -Friedrich so treacherously expected to meet her (Isabella), and sends -Friedrich an invitation to this meeting. In order to entangle the -latter even more deeply in ruin, she stipulates that he must come -disguised and masked, and fixes the rendezvous in one of those pleasure -resorts which he has just suppressed. To the madcap Luzio, whom she -also desires to punish for his saucy suggestion to a novice, she -relates the story of Friedrich's proposal, and her pretended intention -of complying, from sheer necessity, with his desires. This she does in -a fashion so incomprehensively light-hearted that the otherwise -frivolous man, first dumb with amazement, ultimately yields to a fit of -desperate rage. He swears that, even if the noble maiden herself can -endure such shame, he will himself strive by every means in his power -to avert it, and would prefer to set all Palermo on fire and in tumult -rather than allow such a thing to happen. And, indeed, he arranges -things in such a manner that on the appointed evening all his friends -and acquaintances assemble at the end of the Corso, as though for the -opening of the prohibited carnival procession. At nightfall, as things -are beginning to grow wild and merry, Luzio appears, and sings an -extravagant carnival song, with the refrain: - - Who joins us not in frolic jest - Shall have a dagger in his breast; - -by which means he seeks to stir the crowd to bloody revolt. When a band -of sbirri approaches, under Brighella's leadership, to scatter the gay -throng, the mutinous project seems on the point of being accomplished. -But for the present Luzio prefers to yield, and to scatter about the -neighbourhood, as he must first of all win the real leader of their -enterprise: for here was the spot which Isabella had mischievously -revealed to him as the place of her pretended meeting with the Regent. -For the latter Luzio therefore lies in wait. Recognising him in an -elaborate disguise, he blocks his way, and as Friedrich violently -breaks loose, is on the point of following him with shouts and drawn -sword, when, on a sign from Isabella, who is hidden among some bushes, -he is himself stopped and led away. Isabella then advances, rejoicing -in the thought of having restored the betrayed Marianne to her -faithless spouse. Believing that she holds in her hand the promised -pardon for her brother, she is just on the point of abandoning all -thought of further vengeance when, breaking the seal, to her intense -horror she recognises by the light of a torch that the paper contains -but a still more severe order of execution, which, owing to her desire -not to disclose to her brother the fact of his pardon, a mere chance -had now delivered into her hand, through the agency of the bribed -gaoler. After a hard fight with the tempestuous passion of love, and -recognising his helplessness against this enemy of his peace, Friedrich -has in fact already resolved to face his ruin, even though as a -criminal, yet still as a man of honour. An hour on Isabella's breast, -and then--his own death by the same law whose implacable severity shall -also claim Claudio's life. Isabella, perceiving in this conduct only a -further proof of the hypocrite's villainy, breaks out once more into a -tempest of agonised despair. Upon her cry for immediate revolt against -the scoundrelly tyrant, the people collect together and form a motley -and passionate crowd. Luzio, who also returns, counsels the people with -stinging bitterness to pay no heed to the woman's fury; he points out -that she is only tricking them, as she has already tricked him--for he -still believes in her shameless infidelity. Fresh confusion; increased -despair of Isabella; suddenly from the background comes the burlesque -cry of Brighella for help, who, himself suffering from the pangs of -jealousy, has by mistake arrested the masked Regent, and thus led to -the latter's discovery. Friedrich is recognised, and Marianne, -trembling on his breast, is also unmasked. Amazement, indignation! -Cries of joy burst forth all round; the needful explanations are -quickly given, and Friedrich sullenly demands to be set before the -judgment-seat of the returning King. Claudio, released from prison by -the jubilant populace, informs him that the sentence of death for -crimes of love is not intended for all times; messengers arrive to -announce the unexpected arrival in harbour of the King; it is resolved -to march in full masked procession to meet the beloved Prince, and -joyously to pay him homage, all being convinced that he will heartily -rejoice to see how ill the gloomy puritanism of Germany is suited to -his hot-blooded Sicily. Of him it is said: - -Your merry festals please him more Than gloomy laws or legal lore. - -Friedrich, with his freshly affianced wife, Marianne, must lead the -procession, followed by Luzio and the novice, who is for ever lost to -the convent. - -These spirited and, in many respects, boldly devised scenes I had -clothed in suitable language and carefully written verse, which had -already been noticed by Laube. The police at first took exception to -the title of the work, which, had I not changed it, would have led to -the complete failure of my plans for its presentation. It was the week -before Easter, and the theatre was consequently forbidden to produce -jolly, or at least frivolous, plays during this period. Luckily the -magistrate, with whom I had to treat concerning the matter, did not -show any inclination to examine the libretto himself; and when I -assured him that it was modelled upon a very serious play of -Shakespeare's, the authorities contented themselves merely with -changing the somewhat startling title. Die Novize van Palermo, which -was the new title, had nothing suspicious about it, and was therefore -approved as correct without further scruple. I fared quite otherwise in -Leipzig, where I attempted to introduce this work in the place of my -Feen, when the latter was withdrawn. The director, Ringelhardt, whom I -sought to win over to my cause by assigning the part of Marianne to his -daughter, then making her debut in opera, chose to reject my work on -the apparently very reasonable grounds that the tendency of the theme -displeased him. He assured me that, even if the Leipzig magistrates had -consented to its production--a fact concerning which his high esteem -for that body led him to have serious doubts--he himself, as a -conscientious father, could certainly not permit his daughter to take -part in it. - -Strange to say, I suffered nothing from the suspicious nature of the -libretto of my opera on the occasion of its production in Magdeburg; -for, as I have said, thanks to the unintelligible manner in which it -was produced, the story remained a complete mystery to the public. This -circumstance, and the fact that no opposition had been raised on the -ground of its TENDENCY, made a second performance possible, and as -nobody seemed to care one way or the other, no objections were raised. -Feeling sure that my opera had made no impression, and had left the -public completely undecided about its merits, I reckoned that, in view -of this being the farewell performance of our opera company, we should -have good, not to say large, takings. Consequently I did not hesitate -to charge 'full' prices for admittance. I cannot rightly judge whether, -up to the commencement of the overture, any people had taken their -places in the auditorium; but about a quarter of an hour before the -time fixed for beginning, I saw only Mme. Gottschalk and her husband, -and, curiously enough, a Polish Jew in full dress, seated in the -stalls. Despite this, I was still hoping for an increase in the -audience, when suddenly the most incredible commotion occurred behind -the scenes. Herr Pollert, the husband of my prima donna (who was acting -Isabella), was assaulting Schreiber, the second tenor, a very young and -handsome man taking the part of Claudio, and against whom the injured -husband had for some time been nursing a secret rancour born of -jealousy. It appeared that the singer's husband, who had surveyed the -theatre from behind the drop-scene with me, had satisfied himself as to -the style of the audience, and decided that the longed-for hour was at -hand when, without injuring the operatic enterprise, he could wreak -vengeance on his wife's lover. Claudio was so severely used by him that -the unfortunate fellow had to seek refuge in the dressing-room, his -face covered with blood. Isabella was told of this, and rushed -despairingly to her raging spouse, only to be so soundly cuffed by him -that she went into convulsions. The confusion that ensued amongst the -company soon knew no bounds: they took sides in the quarrel, and little -was wanting for it to turn into a general fight, as everybody seemed to -regard this unhappy evening as particularly favourable for the paying -off of any old scores and supposed insults. This much was clear, that -the couple suffering from the effects of Herr Pollert's conjugal -resentment were unfit to appear that evening. The manager was sent -before the drop-scene to inform the small and strangely assorted -audience gathered in the theatre that, owing to unforeseen -circumstances, the representation would not take place. - -This was the end of my career as director and composer in Magdeburg, -which in the beginning had seemed so full of promise and had been -started at the cost of considerable sacrifice. The serenity of art now -gave way completely before the stern realities of life. My position -gave food for meditation, and the outlook was not a cheerful one. All -the hopes that I and Minna had founded upon the success of my work had -been utterly destroyed. My creditors, who had been appeased by the -anticipation of the expected harvest, lost faith in my talents, and now -counted solely on obtaining bodily possession of me, which they -endeavoured to do by speedily instituting legal proceedings. Now that -every time I came home I found a summons nailed to my door, my little -dwelling in the Breiter Weg became unbearable; I avoided going there, -especially since my brown poodle, who had hitherto enlivened this -retreat, had vanished, leaving no trace. This I looked upon as a bad -sign, indicating my complete downfall. - -At this time Minna, with her truly comforting assurance and firmness of -bearing, was a tower of strength to me and the one thing I had left to -fall back upon. Always full of resource, she had first of all provided -for her own future, and was on the point of signing a not unfavourable -contract with the directors of the theatre at Konigsberg in Prussia. It -was now a question of finding me an appointment in the same place as -musical conductor; this post was already filled. The Konigsberg -director, however, gathering from our correspondence that Minna's -acceptance of the engagement depended upon the possibility of my being -taken on at the same theatre, held out the prospect of an approaching -vacancy, and expressed his willingness to allow it to be filled by me. -On the strength of this assurance it was decided that Minna should go -on to Konigsberg and pave the way for my arrival there. - -Ere these plans could be carried out, we had still to spend a time of -dreadful and acute anxiety, which I shall never forget, within the -walls of Magdeburg. It is true I made one more personal attempt in -Leipzig to improve my position, on which occasion I entered into the -transactions mentioned above with the director of the theatre regarding -my new opera. But I soon realised that it was out of the question for -me to remain in my native town, and in the disquieting proximity of my -family, from which I was restlessly anxious to get away. My -excitability and depression were noticed by my relations. My mother -entreated me, whatever else I might decide to do, on no account to be -drawn into marriage while still so young. To this I made no reply. When -I took my leave, Rosalie accompanied me to the head of the stairs. I -spoke of returning as soon as I had attended to certain important -business matters, and wanted to wish her a hurried good-bye: she -grasped my hand, and gazing into my face, exclaimed, "God alone knows -when I shall see you again!" This cut me to the heart, and I felt -conscience-stricken. The fact that she was expressing the presentiment -she felt of her early death I only realised when, barely two years -later, without having seen her again, I received the news that she had -died very suddenly. - -I spent a few more weeks with Minna in the strictest retirement in -Magdeburg: she endeavoured to the best of her ability to relieve the -embarrassment of my position. In view of our approaching separation, -and the length of time we might be parted, I hardly left her side, our -only relaxation being the walks we took together round the outskirts of -the town. Anxious forebodings weighed upon us; the May sun which lit -the sad streets of Magdeburg, as if in mockery of our forlorn -condition, was one day more clouded over than I have ever seen it -since, and filled me with a positive dread. On our way home from one of -these walks, as we were approaching the bridge crossing the Elbe, we -caught sight of a man flinging himself from it into the water beneath. -We ran to the bank, called for help, and persuaded a miller, whose mill -was situated on the river, to hold out a rake to the drowning man, who -was being swept in his direction by the current. With indescribable -anxiety we waited for the decisive moment--saw the sinking man stretch -out his hands towards the rake, but he failed to grasp it, and at the -same moment disappeared under the mill, never to be seen again. On the -morning that I accompanied Minna to the stage-coach to bid her a most -sorrowful farewell, the whole population was pouring from one of the -gateways of the town towards a big field, to witness the execution of a -man condemned to be put to death on the wheel 'from below.' - -[Footnote: Durch das Rod van unten. The punishment of the wheel was -usually inflicted upon murderers, incendiaries, highwaymen and church -robbers. There were two methods of inflicting this: (1) 'from above -downwards' (von oben nach unten), in which the condemned man was -despatched instantly owing to his neck getting broken from the start; -and (2) 'from below upwards' (von unten nach oben), which is the method -referred to above, and in which all the limbs of the victim were broken -previous to his body being actually twisted through the spokes of the -wheel.--Editor ] - -The culprit was a soldier who had murdered his sweetheart in a fit of -jealousy. When, later in the day, I sat down to my last dinner at the -inn, I heard the dreadful details of the Prussian mode of execution -being discussed on all sides. A young magistrate, who was a great lover -of music, told us about a conversation he had had with the executioner, -who had been procured from Halle, and with whom he had discussed the -most humane method of hastening the death of the victim; in telling us -about him, he recalled the elegant dress and manners of this ill-omened -person with a shudder. - -These were the last impressions I carried away from the scene of my -first artistic efforts and of my attempts at earning an independent -livelihood. Often since then on my departure from places where I had -expected to find prosperity, and to which I knew I should never return, -those impressions have recurred to my mind with singular persistence. I -have always had much the same feelings upon leaving any place where I -had stayed in the hope of improving my position. - -Thus I arrived in Berlin for the first time on the 18th May, 1836, and -made acquaintance with the peculiar features of that pretentious royal -capital. While my position was an uncertain one, I sought a modest -shelter at the Crown Prince in the Konigstrasse, where Minna had stayed -a few months before. I found a friend on whom I could rely when I came -across Laube again, who, while awaiting his verdict, was busying -himself with private and literary work in Berlin. He was much -interested in the fate of my work Liebesverbot, and advised me to turn -my present situation to account for the purpose of obtaining the -production of this opera at the Konigstadt theatre. This theatre was -under the direction of one of the most curious creatures in Berlin: he -was called 'Cerf,' and the title of Commissionsrath had been conferred -upon him by the King of Prussia. To account for the favours bestowed -upon him by royalty, many reasons of a not very edifying nature were -circulated. Through this royal patronage he had succeeded in extending -considerably the privileges already enjoyed by the suburban theatre. -The decline of grand opera at the Theatre Royal had brought light -opera, which was performed with great success at the Konigstadt -theatre, into public favour. The director, puffed up by success, openly -laboured under the delusion that he was the right man in the right -place, and expressed his entire agreement with those who declared that -one could only expect a theatre to be successfully managed by common -and uneducated men, and continued to cling to his blissful and -boundless state of ignorance in the most amusing manner. Relying -absolutely upon his own insight, he had assumed an entirely dictatorial -attitude towards the officially appointed artists of his theatre, and -allowed himself to deal with them according to his likes and dislikes. -I seemed destined to be favoured by this mode of procedure: at my very -first visit Cerf expressed his satisfaction with me, but wished to make -use of me as a 'tenor.' He offered no objection whatever to my request -for the production of my opera, but, on the contrary, promised to have -it staged immediately. He seemed particularly anxious to appoint me -conductor of the orchestra. As he was on the point of changing his -operatic company, he foresaw that his present conductor, Glaser, the -composer of Adlershorst, would hinder his plans by taking the part of -the older singers: he was therefore anxious to have me associated with -his theatre, that he might have some one to support him who was -favourably disposed towards the new singers. - -All this sounded so plausible, that I could scarcely be blamed for -believing that the wheel of fortune had taken a favourable - turn for me, and for feeling a sense of lightheartedness at the -thought of such rosy prospects. I had scarcely allowed myself the few -modifications in my manner of living which these improved circumstances -seemed to justify, ere it was made clear to me that my hopes were built -upon sand. I was filled with positive dread when I soon fully realised -how nearly Cerf had come to defrauding me, merely it would seem for his -own amusement. After the manner of despots, he had given his favours -personally and autocratically; the withdrawal and annulment of his -promises, however, he made known to me through his servants and -secretaries, thus placing his strange conduct towards me in the light -of the inevitable result of his dependence upon officialdom. - -As Cerf wished to rid himself of me without even offering me -compensation, I was obliged to try to come to some understanding -regarding all that had been definitely arranged between us, and this -with the very people against whom he had previously warned me and had -wanted me to side with him. The conductor, stage manager, secretary, -etc., had to make it clear to me that my wishes could not be satisfied, -and that the director owed me no compensation whatever for the time he -had made me waste while awaiting the fulfilment of his promises. This -unpleasant experience has been a source of pain to me ever since. - -Owing to all this my position was very much worse than it had been -before. Minna wrote to me frequently from Konigsberg, but she had -nothing encouraging to tell me with regard to my hopes in that -direction. The director of the theatre there seemed unable to come to -any clear understanding with his conductor, a circumstance which I was -afterwards able to understand, but which at the time appeared to me -inexplicable, and made my chance of obtaining the coveted appointment -seem exceedingly remote. It seemed certain, however, that the post -would be vacant in the autumn, and as I was drifting about aimlessly in -Berlin and refused for a moment to entertain the thought of returning -to Leipzig, I snatched at this faint hope, and in imagination soared -above the Berlin quicksands to the safety of the harbour on the Baltic. - -I only succeeded in doing so, however, after I had struggled - through difficult and serious inward conflicts to which my -relations with Minna gave rise. An incomprehensible feature in the -character of this otherwise apparently simple-minded woman had thrown -my young heart into a turmoil. A good-natured, well-to-do tradesman of -Jewish extraction, named Schwabe, who till that time had been -established in Magdeburg, made friendly advances to me in Berlin, and I -soon discovered that his sympathy was chiefly due to the passionate -interest which he had conceived for Minna. It afterwards became clear -to me that an intimacy had existed between this man and Minna, which in -itself could hardly be considered as a breach of faith towards me, -since it had ended in a decided repulse of my rival's courtship in my -favour. But the fact of this episode having been kept so secret that I -had not had the faintest idea of it before, and also the suspicion I -could not avoid harbouring that Minna's comfortable circumstances were -in part due to this man's friendship, filled me with gloomy misgivings. -But as I have said, although I could find no real cause to complain of -infidelity, I was distracted and alarmed, and was at last driven to the -half-desperate resolve of regaining my balance in this respect by -obtaining complete possession of Minna. It seemed to me as though my -stability as a citizen as well as my professional success would be -assured by a recognised union with Minna. The two years spent in the -theatrical world had, in fact, kept me in a constant state of -distraction, of which in my heart of hearts I was most painfully -conscious. I realised vaguely that I was on the wrong path; I longed -for peace and quiet, and hoped to find these most effectually by -getting married, and so putting an end to the state of things that had -become the source of so much anxiety to me. - -It was not surprising that Laube noticed by my untidy, passionate, and -wasted appearance that something unusual was amiss with me. It was only -in his company, which I always found comforting, that I gained the only -impressions of Berlin which compensated me in any way for my -misfortunes. The most important artistic experience I had, came to me -through the performance of Ferdinand Cortez, conducted by Spontini -himself, the spirit of which astonished me more than anything I had -ever heard before. Though the actual production, especially as regards -the chief characters, who as a whole could not be regarded as belonging -to the flower of Berlin opera, left me unmoved, and though the effect -never reached a point that could be even distantly compared to that -produced upon me by Schroder-Devrient, yet the exceptional precision, -fire, and richly organised rendering of the whole was new to me. I -gained a fresh insight into the peculiar dignity of big theatrical -representations, which in their several parts could, by -well-accentuated rhythm, be made to attain the highest pinnacle of art. -This extraordinarily distinct impression took a drastic hold of me, and -above all served to guide me in my conception of Rienzi, so that, -speaking from an artistic point of view, Berlin may be said to have -left its traces on my development. - -For the present, however, my chief concern was to extricate myself from -my extremely helpless position. I was determined to turn my steps to -Konigsberg, and communicated my decision, and the hopes founded upon -it, to Laube. This excellent friend, without further inquiry, made a -point of exerting his energies to free me from my present state of -despair, and to help me to reach my next destination, an object which, -through the assistance of several of his friends, he succeeded in -accomplishing. When he said good-bye to me, Laube with sympathetic -foresight warned me, should I succeed in my desired career of musical -conductor, not to allow myself to be entangled in the shallowness of -stage life, and advised me, after fatiguing rehearsals, instead of -going to my sweetheart, to take a serious book in hand, in order that -my greater gifts might not go uncultivated. I did not tell him that by -taking an early and decisive step in this direction I intended to -protect myself effectually against the dangers of theatrical intrigues. -On the 7th of July, therefore, I started on what was at that time an -extremely troublesome and fatiguing journey to the distant town of -Konigsberg. - -It seemed to me as though I were leaving the world, as I travelled on -day after day through the desert marches. Then followed a sad and -humiliating impression of Konigsberg, where, in one of the -poorest-looking suburbs, Tragheim, near the theatre, and in a lane such -as one would expect to find in a - village, I found the ugly house in which Minna lodged. The -friendly and quiet kindness of manner, however, which was peculiar to -her, soon made me feel at home. She was popular at the theatre, and was -respected by the managers and actors, a fact which seemed to augur well -for her betrothed, the part I was now openly to assume. - -Though as yet there seemed no distinct prospect of my getting the -appointment I had come for, yet we agreed that I could hold out a -little longer, and that the matter would certainly be arranged in the -end. This was also the opinion of the eccentric Abraham Moller, a -worthy citizen of Konigsberg, who was devoted to the theatre, and who -took a very friendly interest in Minna, and finally also in me. This -man, who was already well advanced in life, belonged to the type of -theatre lovers now probably completely extinct in Germany, but of whom -so much is recorded in the history of actors of earlier times. One -could not spend an hour in the company of this man, who at one time had -gone in for the most reckless speculations, without having to listen to -his account of the glory of the stage in former times, described in -most lively terms. As a man of means he had at one time made the -acquaintance of nearly all the great actors and actresses of his day, -and had even known how to win their friendship. Through too great a -liberality he unfortunately found himself in reduced circumstances, and -was now obliged to procure the means to satisfy his craving for the -theatre and his desire to protect those belonging to it by entering -into all kinds of strange business transactions, in which, without -running any real risk, he felt there was something to be gained. He was -accordingly only able to afford the theatre a very meagre support, but -one which was quite in keeping with its decrepit condition. - -This strange man, of whom the theatre director, Anton Hubsch, stood to -a certain extent in awe, undertook to procure me my appointment. The -only circumstance against me was the fact that Louis Schubert, the -famous musician whom I had known from very early times as the first -violoncellist of the Magdeburg orchestra, had come to Konigsberg from -Riga, where the theatre had been closed for a time, and where he had -left his wife, in order to fill the post of musical conductor here -until the new theatre in Riga was opened, and he could return. The -reopening of the Riga theatre, which had already been fixed for the -Easter of this year, had been postponed, and he was now anxious not to -leave Konigsberg. Since Schubert was a thorough master in his art, and -since his choosing to remain or go depended entirely on circumstances -over which he had no control, the theatre director found himself in the -embarrassing position of having to secure some one who would be willing -to wait to enter upon his appointment till Schubert's business called -him away. Consequently a young musical conductor who was anxious to -remain in Konigsberg at any price could but be heartily welcomed as a -reserve and substitute in case of emergency. Indeed, the director -declared himself willing to give me a small retaining fee till the time -should arrive for my definite entrance upon my duties. - -Schubert, on the contrary, was furious at my arrival; there was no -longer any necessity for his speedy return to Riga, since the reopening -of the theatre there had been postponed indefinitely. Moreover, he had -a special interest in remaining in Konigsberg, as he had conceived a -passion for the prima donna there, which considerably lessened his -desire to return to his wife. So at the last moment he clung to his -Konigsberg post with great eagerness, regarded me as his deadly enemy, -and, spurred on by his instinct of self-preservation, used every means -in his power to make my stay in Konigsberg, and the already painful -position I occupied while awaiting his departure, a veritable hell to -me. - -While in Magdeburg I had been on the friendliest footing with both -musicians and singers, and had been shown the greatest consideration by -the public, I here found I had to defend myself on all sides against -the most mortifying ill-will. This hostility towards me, which soon -made itself apparent, contributed in no small degree to make me feel as -though in coming to Konigsberg I had gone into exile. In spite of my -eagerness, I realised that under the circumstances my marriage with -Minna would prove a hazardous undertaking. At the beginning of August -the company went to Memel for a time, to open the summer season there, -and I followed Minna a few days later. We went most of the way by sea, -and crossed the Kurische Haff in a sailing vessel in bad weather with -the wind against us--one of the most melancholy crossings I have ever -experienced. As we passed the thin strip of sand that divides this bay -from the Baltic Sea, the castle of Runsitten, where Hoffmann laid the -scene of one of his most gruesome tales (Das Majorat), was pointed out -to me. The fact that in this desolate neighbourhood, of all places in -the world, I should after so long a lapse of time be once more brought -in contact with the fantastic impressions of my youth, had a singular -and depressing effect on my mind. The unhappy sojourn in Memel, the -lamentable role I played there, everything in short, contributed to -make me find my only consolation in Minna, who, after all, was the -cause of my having placed myself in this unpleasant position. Our -friend Abraham followed us from Konigsberg and did all kinds of queer -things to promote my interests, and was obviously anxious to put the -director and conductor at variance with each other. One day Schubert, -in consequence of a dispute with Hubsch on the previous night, actually -declared himself too unwell to attend a rehearsal of Euryanthe, in -order to force the manager to summon me suddenly to take his place. In -doing this my rival maliciously hoped that as I was totally unprepared -to conduct this difficult opera, which was seldom played, I would -expose my incapacity in a manner most welcome to his hostile -intentions. Although I had never really had a score of Euryanthe before -me, his wish was so little gratified, that he elected to get well for -the representation in order to conduct it himself, which he would not -have done if it had been found necessary to cancel the performance on -account of my incompetence. In this wretched position, vexed in mind, -exposed to the severe climate, which even on summer evenings struck me -as horribly cold, and occupied merely in warding off the most painful -troubles of life, my time, as far as any professional advancement was -concerned, was completely lost. At last, on our return to Konigsberg, -and particularly under the guardianship of Moller, the question as to -what was to be done was more earnestly considered. Finally, Minna and I -were offered a fairly good engagement in Danzig, through the influence -of my brother-in-law Wolfram and his wife, who had gone there. - -Moller seized this opportunity to induce the director Hubsch, who was -anxious not to lose Minna, to sign a contract including us both, and by -which it was understood that under any circumstances I should be -officially appointed as conductor at his theatre from the following -Easter. Moreover, for our wedding, a benefit performance was promised, -for which we chose Die Stumme von Portici, to be conducted by me in -person. For, as Moller remarked, it was absolutely necessary for us to -get married, and to have a due celebration of the event; there was no -getting out of it. Minna made no objection, and all my past endeavours -and resolutions seemed to prove that my one desire was to take anchor -in the haven of matrimony. In spite of this, however, a strange -conflict was going on within me at this time. I had become sufficiently -intimate with Minna's life and character to realise the wide difference -between our two natures as fully as the important step I was about to -take necessitated; but my powers of judgment were not yet sufficiently -matured. - -My future wife was the child of poor parents, natives of Oederan in the -Erzgebirge in Saxony. Her father was no ordinary man; he possessed -enormous vitality, but in his old age showed traces of some feebleness -of mind. In his young days he had been a trumpeter in Saxony, and in -this capacity had taken part in a campaign against the French, and had -also been present at the battle of Wagram. He afterwards became a -mechanic, and took up the trade of manufacturing cards for carding -wool, and as he invented an improvement in the process of their -production, he is said to have made a very good business of it for some -time. A rich manufacturer of Chemnitz once gave him a large order to be -delivered at the end of the year: the children, whose pliable fingers -had already proved serviceable in this respect, had to work hard day -and night, and in return the father promised them an exceptionally -happy Christmas, as he expected to get a large sum of money. When the -longed-for time arrived, however, he received the announcement of his -client's bankruptcy. The goods that had already been delivered were -lost, and the material that remained on his hands there was no prospect -of selling. The family never succeeded in recovering from the state of -confusion into which this misfortune had thrown them; they went to -Dresden, where the father hoped to find remunerative employment as a -skilled mechanic, especially in the manufacture of pianos, of which he -supplied separate parts. He also brought away with him a large quantity -of the fine wire which had been destined for the manufacture of the -cards, and which he hoped to be able to sell at a profit. The -ten-year-old Minna was commissioned to sell separate lots of it to the -milliners for making flowers. She would set out with a heavy basketful -of wire, and had such a gift for persuading people to buy that she soon -disposed of the whole supply to the best advantage. From this time the -desire was awakened in her to be of active use to her impoverished -family, and to earn her own living as soon as possible, in order not to -be a burden on her parents. As she grew up and developed into a -strikingly beautiful woman, she attracted the attention of men at a -very early age. A certain Herr von Einsiedel fell passionately in love -with her, and took advantage of the inexperienced young girl when she -was off her guard. Her family was thrown into the utmost consternation, -and only her mother and elder sister could be told of the terrible -position in which Minna found herself. Her father, from whose anger the -worst consequences were to be feared, was never informed that his -barely seventeen-year-old daughter had become a mother, and under -conditions that had threatened her life, had given birth to a girl. -Minna, who could obtain no redress from her seducer, now felt doubly -called upon to earn her own livelihood and leave her father's house. -Through the influence of friends, she had been brought into contact -with an amateur theatrical society: while acting in a performance given -there, she attracted the notice of members of the Royal Court Theatre, -and in particular drew the attention of the director of the Dessau -Court Theatre, who was present, and who immediately offered her an -engagement. She gladly caught at this way of escape from her trying -position, as it opened up the possibility of a brilliant stage career, -and of some day being able to provide amply for her family. She had not -the slightest passion for the stage, and utterly devoid as she was of -any levity or coquetry, she merely saw in a theatrical career the means -of earning a quick, and possibly even a rich, livelihood. Without any -artistic training, the theatre merely meant for her the company of -actors and actresses. Whether she pleased or not seemed of importance -in her eyes only in so far as it affected her realisation of a -comfortable independence. To use all the means at her disposal to -assure this end seemed to her as necessary as it is for a tradesman to -expose his goods to the best advantage. - -The friendship of the director, manager, and favourite members of the -theatre she regarded as indispensable, whilst those frequenters of the -theatre who, through their criticism or taste, influenced the public, -and thus also had weight with the management, she recognised as beings -upon whom the attainment of her most fervent desires depended. Never to -make enemies of them appeared so natural and so necessary that, in -order to maintain her popularity, she was prepared to sacrifice even -her self-respect. She had in this way created for herself a certain -peculiar code of behaviour, that on the one hand prompted her to avoid -scandals, but on the other hand found excuses even for making herself -conspicuous as long as she herself knew that she was doing nothing -wrong. Hence arose a mixture of inconsistencies, the questionable sense -of which she was incapable of grasping. It was clearly impossible for -her not to lose all real sense of delicacy; she showed, however, a -sense of the fitness of things, which made her have regard to what was -considered proper, though she could not understand that mere -appearances were a mockery when they only served to cloak the absence -of a real sense of delicacy. As she was without idealism, she had no -artistic feeling; neither did she possess any talent for acting, and -her power of pleasing was due entirely to her charming appearance. -Whether in time routine would have made her become a good actress it is -impossible for me to say. The strange power she exercised over me from -the very first was in no wise due to the fact that I regarded her in -any way as the embodiment of my ideal; on the contrary, she attracted -me by the soberness and seriousness of her character, which -supplemented what I felt to be wanting in my own, and afforded me the -support that in my wanderings after the ideal I knew to be necessary -for me. - -I had soon accustomed myself never to betray my craving after the ideal -before Minna: unable to account for this even to myself, I always made -a point of avoiding the subject by passing it over with a laugh and a -joke; but, on this account, it was all the more natural for me to feel -qualms when fears arose in my mind as to her really possessing the -qualities to which I had attributed her superiority over me. Her -strange tolerance with regard to certain familiarities and even -importunities on the part of patrons of the theatre, directed even -against her person, hurt me considerably; and on my reproaching her for -this, I was driven to despair by her assuming an injured expression as -though I had insulted her. It was quite by chance that I came across -Schwabe's letters, and thus gained an astonishing insight into her -intimacy with that man, of which she had left me in ignorance, and -allowed me to gain my first knowledge during my stay in Berlin. All my -latent jealousy, all my inmost doubts concerning Minna's character, -found vent in my sudden determination to leave the girl at once. There -was a violent scene between us, which was typical of all our subsequent -altercations. I had obviously gone too far in treating a woman who was -not passionately in love with me, as if I had a real right over her; -for, after all, she had merely yielded to my importunity, and in no way -belonged to me. To add to my perplexity, Minna only needed to remind me -that from a worldly point of view she had refused very good offers in -order to give way to the impetuosity of a penniless young man, whose -talent had not yet been put to any real test, and to whom she had -nevertheless shown sympathy and kindness. - -What she could least forgive in me was the raging vehemence with which -I spoke, and by which she felt so insulted, that upon realising to what -excesses I had gone, there was nothing I could do but try and pacify -her by owning myself in the wrong, and begging her forgiveness. Such -was the end of this and all subsequent scenes, outwardly; at least, -always to her advantage. But peace was undermined for ever, and by the -frequent recurrence of such quarrels, Minna's character underwent a -considerable change. Just as in later times she became perplexed by -what she considered my incomprehensible conception of art and its -proportions, which upset her ideas about everything connected with it, -so now she grew more and more confused by my greater delicacy in regard -to morality, which was very different from hers, especially as in many -other respects I displayed a freedom of opinion which the could neither -comprehend nor approve. - -A feeling of passionate resentment was accordingly roused in her -otherwise tranquil disposition. It was not surprising that this -resentment increased as the years went on, and manifested itself in a -manner characteristic of a girl sprung from the lower middle class, in -whom mere superficial polish had taken the place of any true culture. -The real torment of our subsequent life together lay in the fact that, -owing to her violence, I had lost the last support I had hitherto found -in her exceptionally sweet disposition. At that time I was filled only -with a dim foreboding of the fateful step I was taking in marrying her. -Her agreeable and soothing qualities still had such a beneficial effect -upon me, that with the frivolity natural to me, as well as the -obstinacy with which I met all opposition, I silenced the inner voice -that darkly foreboded disaster. - -Since my journey to Konigsberg I had broken off all communication with -my family, that is to say, with my mother and Rosalie, and I told no -one of the step I had decided to take. Under my old friend Moller's -audacious guidance I overcame all the legal difficulties that stood in -the way of our union. According to Prussian law, a man who has reached -his majority no longer requires his parents' consent to his marriage: -but since, according to this same provision, I was not yet of age, I -had recourse to the law of Saxony, to which country I belonged by -birth, and by whose regulations I had already attained my majority at -the age of twenty-one. Our banns had to be published at the place where -we had been living during the past year, and this formality was carried -out in Magdeburg without any further objections being raised. As -Minna's parents had given their consent, the only thing that still -remained to be done to make everything quite in order was for us to go -together to the clergyman of the parish of Tragheim. This proved a -strange enough visit. It took place the morning preceding the -performance to be given for our benefit, in which Minna had chosen, the -pantomimic role of Fenella; her costume was not ready yet, and there -was still a great deal to be done. The rainy cold November weather made -us feel out of humour, when, to add to our vexation, we were kept -standing in the hall of the vicarage for an unreasonable time. Then an -altercation arose between us which speedily led to such bitter -vituperation that we were just on the point of separating and going -each our own way, when the clergyman opened the door. Not a little -embarrassed at having surprised us in the act of quarrelling, he -invited us in. We were obliged to put a good face on the matter, -however; and the absurdity of the situation so tickled our sense of -humour that we laughed; the parson was appeased, and the wedding fixed -for eleven o'clock the next morning. - -Another fruitful source of irritation, which often led to the outbreak -of violent quarrelling between us, was the arrangement of our future -home, in the interior comfort and beauty of which I hoped to find a -guarantee of happiness. The economical ideas of my bride filled me with -impatience. I was determined that the inauguration of a series of -prosperous years which I saw before me must be celebrated by a -correspondingly comfortable home. Furniture, household utensils, and -all necessaries were obtained on credit, to be paid for by instalment. -There was, of course, no question of a dowry, a wedding outfit, or any -of the things that are generally considered indispensable to a -well-founded establishment. Our witnesses and guests were drawn from -the company of actors accidentally brought together by their engagement -at the Konigsberg theatre. My friend Moller made us a present of a -silver sugar-basin, which was supplemented by a silver cake-basket from -another stage friend, a peculiar and, as far as I can remember, rather -interesting young man named Ernst Castell. The benefit performance of -the Die Stumme von Portici, which I conducted with great enthusiasm, -went off well, and brought us in as large a sum as we had counted upon. -After spending the rest of the day before our wedding very quietly, as -we were tired out after our return from the theatre, I took up my abode -for the first time in our new home. Not wishing to use the bridal bed, -decorated for the occasion, I lay down on a hard sofa, without even -sufficient covering on me, and froze valiantly while awaiting the -happiness of the following day. I was pleasantly excited the next -morning by the arrival of Minna's belongings, packed in boxes and -baskets. The weather, too, had quite cleared up, and the sun was -shining brightly; only our sitting-room refused to get properly warm, -which for some time drew down Minna's reproaches upon my head for my -supposed carelessness in not having seen to the heating arrangements. -At last I dressed myself in my new suit, a dark blue frock-coat with -gold buttons. The carriage drove up, and I set out to fetch my bride. -The bright sky had put us all in good spirits, and in the best of -humour I met Minna, who was dressed in a splendid gown chosen by me. -She greeted me with sincere cordiality and pleasure shining from her -eyes; and taking the fine weather as a good omen, we started off for -what now seemed to us a most cheerful wedding. We enjoyed the -satisfaction of seeing the church as over-crowded as if a brilliant -theatrical representation were being given; it was quite a difficult -matter to make our way to the altar, where a group no less worldly than -the rest, consisting of our witnesses, dressed in all their theatrical -finery, were assembled to receive us. There was not one real friend -amongst all those present, for even our strange old friend Moller was -absent, because no suitable partner had been found for him. I was not -for a single moment insensible to the chilling frivolity of the -congregation, who seemed to impart their tone to the whole ceremony. I -listened like one in a dream to the nuptial address of the parson, who, -I was afterwards told, had had a share in producing the spirit of -bigotry which at this time was so prevalent in Konigsberg, and which -exercised such a disquieting influence on its population. - -A few days later I was told that a rumour had got about the town that I -had taken action against the parson for some gross insults contained in -his sermon; I did not quite see what was meant, but supposed that the -exaggerated report arose from a passage in his address which I in my -excitement had misunderstood. The preacher, in speaking of the dark -days, of which we were to expect our share, bade us look to an unknown -friend, and I glanced up inquiringly for further particulars of this -mysterious and influential patron who chose so strange a way of -announcing himself. Reproachfully, and with peculiar emphasis, the -pastor then pronounced the name of this unknown friend: Jesus. Now I -was not in any way insulted by this, as people imagined, but was simply -disappointed; at the same time, I thought that such exhortations were -probably usual in nuptial addresses. - -But, on the whole, I was so absent-minded during this ceremony, which -was double Dutch to me, that when the parson held out the closed -prayer-book for us to place our wedding rings upon, Minna had to nudge -me forcibly to make me follow her example. - -At that moment I saw, as clearly as in a vision, my whole being divided -into two cross-currents that dragged me in different directions; the -upper one faced the sun and carried me onward like a dreamer, whilst -the lower one held my nature captive, a prey to some inexplicable fear. -The extraordinary levity with which I chased away the conviction which -kept forcing itself upon me, that I was committing a twofold sin, was -amply accounted for by the really genuine affection with which I looked -upon the young girl whose truly exceptional character (so rare in the -environment in which she had been placed) led her thus to bind herself -to a young man without any means of support. It was eleven o'clock on -the morning of the 24th of November, 1836, and I was twenty-three and a -half. - -On the way home from church, and afterwards, my good spirits rose -superior to all my doubts. - -Minna at once took upon herself the duty of receiving and entertaining -her guests. The table was spread, and a rich feast, at which Abraham -Moller, the energetic promoter of our marriage, also took part, -although he had been rather put out by his exclusion from the church -ceremony, made up for the coldness of the room, which for a long time -refused to get warm, to the great distress of the young hostess. - -Everything went off in the usual uneventful way. Nevertheless, I -retained my good spirits till the next morning, when I had to present -myself at the magistrate's court to meet the demands of my creditors, -which had been forwarded to me from Magdeburg to Konigsburg. - -My friend Moller, whom I had retained for my defence, had foolishly -advised me to meet my creditors' demands by pleading infancy according -to the law of Prussia, at all events until actual assistance for the -settlement of the claims could be obtained. - -The magistrate, to whom I stated this plea as I had been advised, was -astonished, being probably well aware of my marriage on the previous -day, which could only have taken place on the production of documentary -proof of my majority. I naturally only gained a brief respite by this -manoeuvre, and the troubles which beset me for a long time afterwards -had their origin on the first day of my marriage. - -During the period when I held no appointment at the theatre I suffered -various humiliations. Nevertheless, I thought it wise to make the most -of my leisure in the interests of my art, and I finished a few pieces, -among which was a grand overture on Rule Britannia. - -When I was still in Berlin I had written the overture entitled Polonia, -which has already been mentioned in connection with the Polish -festival. Rule Britannia was a further and deliberate step in the -direction of mass effects; at the close a strong military band was to -be added to the already over-full orchestra, and I intended to have the -whole thing performed at the Musical Festival in Konigsberg in the -summer. - -To these two overtures I added a supplement--an overture entitled -Napoleon. The point to which I devoted my chief attention was the -selection of the means for producing certain effects, and I carefully -considered whether I should express the annihilating stroke of fate -that befell the French Emperor in Russia by a beat on the tom-tom or -not. I believe it was to a great extent my scruples about the -introduction of this beat that prevented me from carrying out my plan -just then. - -On the other hand, the conclusions which I had reached regarding the -ill-success of Liebesverbot resulted in an operatic sketch in which the -demands made on the chorus and the staff of singers should be more in -proportion to the known capacity of the local company, as this small -theatre was the only one at my disposal. - -A quaint tale from the Arabian Nights suggested the very subject for a -light work of this description, the title of which, if I remember -rightly, was Mannerlist grosser als Frauenlist ('Man outwits Woman'). - -I transplanted the story from Bagdad to a modern setting. A young -goldsmith offends the pride of a young woman by placing the above motto -on the sign over his shop; deeply veiled, she steps into his shop and -asks him, as he displays such excellent taste in his work, to express -his opinion on her own physical charms; he begins with her feet and her -hands, and finally, noticing his confusion, she removes the veil from -her face. The jeweller is carried away by her beauty, whereupon she -complains to him that her father, who has always kept her in the -strictest seclusion, describes her to all her suitors as an ugly -monster, his object being, she imagines, simply to keep her dowry. The -young man swears that he will not be frightened off by these foolish -objections, should the father raise them against his suit. No sooner -said than done. The daughter of this peculiar old gentleman is promised -to the unsuspecting jeweller, and is brought to her bridegroom as soon -as he has signed the contract. He then sees that the father has indeed -spoken the truth, the real daughter being a perfect scarecrow. The -beautiful lady returns to the bridegroom to gloat over his desperation, -and promises to release him from his terrible marriage if he will -remove the motto from his signboard. At this point I departed from the -original, and continued as follows: The enraged jeweller is on the -point of tearing down his unfortunate signboard when a curious -apparition leads him to pause in the act. He sees a bear-leader in the -street making his clumsy beast dance, in whom the luckless lover -recognises at a glance his own father, from whom he has been parted by -a hard fate. - -He suppresses any sign of emotion, for in a flash a scheme occurs to -him by which he can utilise this discovery to free himself from the -hated marriage with the daughter of the proud old aristocrat. - -He instructs the bear-leader to come that evening to the garden where -the solemn betrothal is to take place in the presence of the invited -guests. - -He then explains to his young enemy that he wishes to leave the -signboard up for the time being, as he still hopes to prove the truth -of the motto. - -After the marriage contract, in which the young man arrogates to -himself all kinds of fictitious titles of nobility, has been read to -the assembled company (composed, say, of the elite of the noble -immigrants at the time of the French Revolution), there is heard -suddenly the pipe of the bear-leader, who enters the garden with his -prancing beast. Angered by this trivial diversion, the astonished -company become indignant when the bridegroom, giving free vent to his -feelings, throws himself with tears of joy into the arms of the -bear-leader and loudly proclaims him as his long-lost father. The -consternation of the company becomes even greater, however, when the -bear itself embraces the man they supposed to be of noble birth, for -the beast is no less a person than his own brother in the flesh who, on -the death of the real bear, had donned its skin, thus enabling the -poverty-stricken pair to continue to earn their livelihood in the only -way left to them. This public disclosure of the bridegroom's lowly -origin at once dissolves the marriage, and the young woman, declaring -herself outwitted by man, offers her hand in compensation to the -released jeweller. - -To this unassuming subject I gave the title of the Gluckliche -Barenfamilie, and provided it with a dialogue which afterwards met with -Holtei's highest approval. - -I was about to begin the music for it in a new light French style, but -the seriousness of my position, which grew more and more acute, -prevented further progress in my work. - -In this respect my strained relations with the conductor of the theatre -were still a constant source of trouble. With neither the opportunity -nor the means to defend myself, I had to submit to being maligned and -rendered an object of suspicion on all sides by my rival, who remained -master of the field. The object of this was to disgust me with the idea -of taking up my appointment as musical conductor, for which the -contract had been signed for Easter. Though I did not lose my -self-confidence, I suffered keenly from the indignity and the -depressing effect of this prolonged strain. - -When at last, at the beginning of April, the moment arrived for the -musical conductor Schubert to resign, and for me to take over the whole -charge, he had the melancholy satisfaction of knowing that not only was -the standing of the opera seriously weakened by the departure of the -prima donna, but that there was good reason to doubt whether the -theatre could be carried on at all. This month of Lent, which was such -a bad time in Germany for all similar theatrical enterprises, decimated -the Konigsberg audience with the rest. The director took the greatest -trouble imaginable to fill up the gaps in the staff of the opera by -means of engaging strangers temporarily, and by new acquisitions, and -in this my personality and unflagging activity were of real service; I -devoted all my energy to buoying up by word and deed the tattered ship -of the theatre, in which I now had a hand for the first time. - -For a long time I had to try and keep cool under the most violent -treatment by a clique of students, among whom my predecessor had raised -up enemies for me; and by the unerring certainty of my conducting I had -to overcome the initial opposition of the orchestra, which had been set -against me. - -After laboriously laying the foundation of personal respect, I was now -forced to realise that the business methods of the director, Hubsch, -had already involved too great a sacrifice to permit the theatre to -make its way against the unfavourableness of the season, and in May he -admitted to me that he had come to the point of being obliged to close -the theatre. - -By summoning up all my eloquence, and by making suggestions which -promised a happy issue, I was able to induce him to persevere; -nevertheless, this was only possible by making demands on the loyalty -of his company, who were asked to forego part of their salaries for a -time. This aroused general bitterness on the part of the uninitiated, -and I found myself in the curious position of being forced to place the -director in a favourable light to those who were hard hit by these -measures, while I myself and my position were affected in such a manner -that my situation became daily more unendurable under the accumulation -of intolerable difficulties taking their root in my past. - -But though I did not even then lose courage, Minna, who as my wife was -robbed of all that she had a right to expect, found this turn of fate -quite unbearable. The hidden canker of our married life which, even -before our marriage, had caused me the most terrible anxiety and led to -violent scenes, reached its full growth under these sad conditions. The -less I was able to maintain the standard of comfort due to our position -by working and making the most of my talents, the more did Minna, to my -insufferable shame, consider it necessary to take this burden upon -herself by making the most of her personal popularity. The discovery of -similar condescensions--as I used to call them--on Minna's part, had -repeatedly led to revolting scenes, and only her peculiar conception of -her professional position and the needs it involved had made a -charitable interpretation possible. - -I was absolutely unable to bring my young wife to see my point of view, -or to make her realise my own wounded feelings on these occasions, -while the unrestrained violence of my speech and behaviour made an -understanding once and for all impossible. These scenes frequently sent -my wife into convulsions of so alarming a nature that, as will easily -be realised, the satisfaction of reconciling her once more was all that -remained to me. Certain it was that our mutual attitude became more and -more incomprehensible and inexplicable to us both. - -These quarrels, which now became more frequent and more distressing, -may have gone far to diminish the strength of any affection which Minna -was able to give me, but I had no idea that she was only waiting for a -favourable opportunity to come to a desperate decision. - -To fill the place of tenor in our company, I had summoned Friedrich -Schmitt to Konigsberg, a friend of my first year in Magdeburg, to whom -allusion has already been made. He was sincerely devoted to me, and -helped me as much as possible in overcoming the dangers which -threatened the prosperity of the theatre as well as my own position. - -The necessity of being on friendly terms with the public made me much -less reserved and cautious in making new acquaintances, especially when -in his company. - -A rich merchant, of the name of Dietrich, had recently constituted -himself a patron of the theatre, and especially of - the women. With due deference to the men with whom they were -connected, he used to invite the pick of these ladies to dinner at his -house, and affected, on these occasions, the well-to-do Englishman, -which was the beau-ideal for German merchants, especially in the -manufacturing towns of the north. - -I had shown my annoyance at the acceptance of the invitation, sent to -us among the rest, at first simply because his looks were repugnant to -me. Minna considered this very unjust. Anyhow, I set my face decidedly -against continuing our acquaintance with this man, and although Minna -did not insist on receiving him, my conduct towards the intruder was -the cause of angry scenes between us. - -One day Friedrich Schmitt considered it his duty to inform me that this -Herr Dietrich had spoken of me at a public dinner in such a manner as -to lead every one to suppose that he had a suspicious intimacy with my -wife. I felt obliged to suspect Minna of having, in some way unknown to -me, told the fellow about my conduct towards her, as well as about our -precarious position. - -Accompanied by Schmitt, I called this dangerous person to account on -the subject in his own home. At first this only led to the usual -denials. Afterwards, however, he sent secret communications to Minna -concerning the interview, thus providing her with a supposed new -grievance against me in the form of my inconsiderate treatment of her. - -Our relations now reached a critical stage, and on certain points we -preserved silence. - -At the same time--it was towards the end of May, 1837--the business -affairs of the theatre had reached the crisis above mentioned, when the -management was obliged to fall back on the self-sacrificing -co-operation of the staff to assure the continuance of the undertaking. -As I have said before, my own position at the end of a year so -disastrous to my welfare was seriously affected by this; nevertheless, -there seemed to be no alternative for me but to face these difficulties -patiently, and relying on the faithful Friedrich Schmitt, but ignoring -Minna, I began to take the necessary steps for making my post at -Konigsberg secure. This, as well as the arduous part I took in the -business of the theatre, kept me so busy and so much away from home, -that I was not able to pay any particular attention to Minna's silence -and reserve. - -On the morning of the 31st of May I took leave of Minna, expecting to -be detained till late in the afternoon by rehearsals and business -matters. With my entire approval she had for some time been accustomed -to have her daughter Nathalie, who was supposed by every one to be her -youngest sister, to stay with her. - -As I was about to wish them my usual quiet good-bye, the two women -rushed after me to the door and embraced me passionately, Minna as well -as her daughter bursting into tears. I was alarmed, and asked the -meaning of this excitement, but could get no answer from them, and I -was obliged to leave them and ponder alone over their peculiar conduct, -of the reason for which I had not even the faintest idea. - -I arrived home late in the afternoon, worn out by my exertions and -worries, dead-tired, pale and hungry, and was surprised to find the -table not laid and Minna not at home, the maid telling me that she had -not yet returned from her walk with Nathalie. - -I waited patiently, sinking down exhausted at the work-table, which I -absent-mindedly opened. To my intense astonishment it was empty. -Horror-struck, I sprang up and went to the wardrobe, and realised at -once that Minna had left the house; her departure had been so cunningly -planned that even the maid was unaware of it. - -With death in my soul I dashed out of the house to investigate the -cause of Minna's disappearance. - -Old Moller, by his practical sagacity, very soon found out that -Dietrich, his personal enemy, had left Konigsberg in the direction of -Berlin by the special coach in the morning. - -This horrible fact stood staring me in the face. - -I had now to try and overtake the fugitives. With the lavish use of -money this might have been possible, but funds were lacking, and had, -in part, to be laboriously collected. - -On Moller's advice I took the silver wedding presents with me in case -of emergency, and after the lapse of a few terrible hours went off, -also by special coach, with my distressed old friend. We hoped to -overtake the ordinary mail-coach, which had started a short time -before, as it was probable that Minna would also continue her journey -in this, at a safe distance from Konigsberg. - -This proved impossible, and when next morning at break of day we -arrived in Elbing, we found our money exhausted by the lavish use of -the express coach, and were compelled to return; we discovered, -moreover, that even by using the ordinary coach we should be obliged to -pawn the sugar-basin and cake-dish. - -This return journey to Konigsberg rightly remains one of the saddest -memories of my youth. Of course, I did not for a moment entertain the -idea of remaining in the place; my one thought was how I could best get -away. Hemmed in between the law-suits of my Magdeburg creditors and the -Konigsberg tradesmen, who had claims on me for the payment by -instalment of my domestic accounts, my departure could only be carried -out in secrecy. For this very reason, too, it was necessary for me to -raise money, particularly for the long journey from Konigsberg to -Dresden, whither I determined to go in quest of my wife, and these -matters detained me for two long and terrible days. - -I received no news whatever from Minna; from Moller I ascertained that -she had gone to Dresden, and that Dietrich had only accompanied her for -a short distance on the excuse of helping her in a friendly way. - -I succeeded in assuring myself that she really only wished to get away -from a position that filled her with desperation, and for this purpose -had accepted the assistance of a man who sympathised with her, and that -she was for the present seeking rest and shelter with her parents. My -first indignation at the event accordingly subsided to such an extent -that I gradually acquired more sympathy for her in her despair, and -began to reproach myself both for my conduct and for having brought -unhappiness on her. - -I became so convinced of the correctness of this view during the -tedious journey to Dresden via Berlin, which I eventually undertook on -the 3rd of June, that when at last I found Minna at the humble abode of -her parents, I was really quite unable to express anything but -repentence and heartbroken sympathy. - -It was quite true that Minna thought herself badly treated by me, and -declared that she had only been forced to take this desperate step by -brooding over our impossible position, to which she thought me both -blind and deaf. Her parents were not pleased to see me: the painfully -excited condition of their daughter seemed to afford sufficient -justification for her complaints against me. Whether my own sufferings, -my hasty pursuit, and the heartfelt expression of my grief made any -favourable impression on her, I can really hardly say, as her manner -towards me was very confused and, to a certain extent, -incomprehensible. Still she was impressed when I told her that there -was a good prospect of my obtaining the post of musical conductor at -Riga, where a new theatre was about to be opened under the most -favourable conditions. I felt that I must not press for new resolutions -concerning the regulation of our future relations just then, but must -strive the more earnestly to lay a better foundation for them. -Consequently, after spending a fearful week with my wife under the most -painful conditions, I went to Berlin, there to sign my agreement with -the new director of the Riga theatre. I obtained the appointment on -fairly favourable terms which, I saw, would enable me to keep house in -such a style that Minna could retire from the theatre altogether. By -this means she would be in a position to spare me all humiliation and -anxiety. - -On returning to Dresden, I found that Minna was ready to lend a willing -ear to my proposed plans, and I succeeded in inducing her to leave her -parents' house, which was very cramped for us, and to establish herself -in the country at Blasewitz, near Dresden, to await our removal to -Riga. We found modest lodgings at an inn on the Elbe, in the farm-yard -of which I had often played as a child. Here Minna's frame of mind -really seemed to be improving. She had begged me not to press her too -hard, and I spared her as much as possible. After a few weeks I thought -I might consider the period of uneasiness past, but was surprised to -find the situation growing worse again without any apparent reason. -Minna then told me of some advantageous offers she had received from -different theatres, and astonished me one day by announcing her -intention of taking a short pleasure trip with a girl friend and her -family. As I felt obliged to avoid putting any restraint upon her, I -offered no objection to the execution of this project, which entailed a -week's separation, but accompanied her back to her parents myself, -promising to await her return quietly at Blasewitz. A few days later -her eldest sister called to ask me for the written permission required -to make out a passport for my wife. This alarmed me, and I went to -Dresden to ask her parents what their daughter was about. There, to my -surprise, I met with a very unpleasant reception; they reproached me -coarsely for my behaviour to Minna, whom they said I could not even -manage to support, and when I only replied by asking for information as -to the whereabouts of my wife, and about her plans for the future, I -was put off with improbable statements. Tormented by the sharpest -forebodings, and understanding nothing of what had occurred, I went -back to the village, where I found a letter from Konigsberg, from -Moller, which poured light on all my misery. Herr Dietrich had gone to -Dresden, and I was told the name of the hotel at which he was staying. -The terrible illumination thrown by this communication upon Minna's -conduct showed me in a flash what to do. I hurried into town to make -the necessary inquiries at the hotel mentioned, and found that the man -in question had been there, but had moved on again. He had vanished, -and Minna too! I now knew enough to demand of the Fates why, at such an -early age, they had sent me this terrible experience which, as it -seemed to me, had poisoned my whole existence. - -I sought consolation for my boundless grief in the society of my sister -Ottilie and her husband, Hermann Brockhaus, an excellent fellow to whom -she had been married for some years. They were then living at their -pretty summer villa in the lovely Grosser Garten, near Dresden. I had -looked them up at once the first time I went to Dresden, but as I had -not at that time the slightest idea of how things were going to turn -out, I had told them nothing, and had seen but little of them. Now I -was moved to break my obstinate silence, and unfold to them the cause -of my misery, with but few reservations. - -For the first time I was in a position gratefully to appreciate the -advantages of family intercourse, and of the direct and disinterested -intimacy between blood relations. Explanations were hardly necessary, -and as brother and sister we found ourselves as closely linked now as -we had been when we were children. We arrived at a complete -understanding without having to explain what we meant; I was unhappy, -she was happy; consolation and help followed as a matter of course. - -This was the sister to whom I once had read Leubald und Adelaide in a -thunderstorm; the sister who had listened, filled with astonishment and -sympathy, to that eventful performance of my first overture on -Christmas Eve, and whom I now found married to one of the kindest of -men, Hermann Brockhaus, who soon earned a reputation for himself as an -expert in oriental languages. He was the youngest brother of my elder -brother-in-law, Friedrich Brockhaus. Their union was blessed by two -children; their comfortable means favoured a life free from care, and -when I made my daily pilgrimage from Blasewitz to the famous Grosser -Garten, it was like stepping from a desert into paradise to enter their -house (one of the popular villas), knowing that I would invariably find -a welcome in this happy family circle. Not only was my spirit soothed -and benefited by intercourse with my sister, but my creative instincts, -which had long lain dormant, were stimulated afresh by the society of -my brilliant and learned brother-in-law. It was brought home to me, -without in any way hurting my feelings, that my early marriage, -excusable as it may have been, was yet an error to be retrieved, and my -mind regained sufficient elasticity to compose some sketches, designed -this time not merely to meet the requirements of the theatre as I knew -it. During the last wretched days I had spent with Minna at Blasewitz, -I had read Bulwer Lytton's novel, Rienzi; during my convalescence in -the bosom of my sympathetic family, I now worked out the scheme for a -grand opera under the inspiration of this book. Though obliged for the -present to return to the limitations of a small theatre, I tried from -this time onwards to aim at enlarging my sphere of action. I sent my -overture, Rule Britannia, to the Philharmonic Society in London, and -tried to get into communication with Scribe in Paris about a setting -for H. Konig's novel, Die Hohe Braut, which I had sketched out. - -Thus I spent the remainder of this summer of ever-happy memory. At the -end of August I had to leave for Riga to take up my new appointment. -Although I knew that my sister Rosalie had shortly before married the -man of her choice, Professor Oswald Marbach of Leipzig, I avoided that -city, probably with the foolish notion of sparing myself any -humiliation, and went straight to Berlin, where I had to receive -certain additional instructions from my future director, and also to -obtain my passport. There I met a younger sister of Minna's, Amalie -Planer, a singer with a pretty voice, who had joined our opera company -at Magdeburg for a short time. My report of Minna quite overwhelmed -this exceedingly kind-hearted girl. We went to a performance of Fidelia -together, during which she, like myself, burst into tears and sobs. -Refreshed by the sympathetic impression I had received, I went by way -of Schwerin, where I was disappointed in my hopes of finding traces of -Minna, to Lubeck, to wait for a merchant ship going to Riga. We had set -sail for Travemunde when an unfavourable wind set in, and held up our -departure for a week: I had to spend this disagreeable time in a -miserable ship's tavern. Thrown on my own resources I tried, amongst -other things, to read Till Eulenspiegel, and this popular book first -gave me the idea of a real German comic opera. Long afterwards, when I -was composing the words for my Junger Siegfried, I remember having many -vivid recollections of this melancholy sojourn in Travemunde and my -reading of Till Eulenspiegel. After a voyage of four days we at last -reached port at Bolderaa. I was conscious of a peculiar thrill on -coming into contact with Russian officials, whom I had instinctively -detested since the days of my sympathy with the Poles as a boy. It -seemed to me as if the harbour police must read enthusiasm for the -Poles in my face, and would send me to Siberia on the spot, and I was -the more agreeably surprised, on reaching Riga, to find myself -surrounded by the familiar German element which, above all, pervaded -everything connected with the theatre. - -After my unfortunate experiences in connection with the conditions of -small German stages, the way in which this newly opened theatre was run -had at first a calming effect on my mind. A society had been formed by -a number of well-to-do theatre-goers and rich business men to raise, by -voluntary subscription, sufficient money to provide the sort of -management they regarded as ideal with a solid foundation. The director -they appointed was Karl von Holtei, a fairly popular dramatic writer, -who enjoyed a certain reputation in the theatrical world. This man's -ideas about the stage represented a special tendency, which was at that -time on the decline. He possessed, in addition to his remarkable social -gifts, an extraordinary acquaintance with all the principal people -connected with the theatre during the past twenty years, and belonged -to a society called Die Liebenswurdigen Libertins ('The Amiable -Libertines'). This was a set of young would-be wits, who looked upon -the stage as a playground licensed by the public for the display of -their mad pranks, from which the middle class held aloof, while people -of culture were steadily losing all interest in the theatre under these -hopeless conditions. - -Holtei's wife had in former days been a popular actress at the -Konigstadt theatre in Berlin, and it was here, at the time when -Henriette Sontag raised it to the height of its fame, that Holtei's -style had been formed. The production there of his melodrama Leonore -(founded on Burger's ballad) had in particular earned him a wide -reputation as a writer for the stage, besides which he produced some -Liederspiele, and among them one, entitled Der Alte Feldherr, became -fairly popular. His invitation to Riga had been particularly welcome, -as it bid fair to gratify his craving to absorb himself completely in -the life of the stage; he hoped, in this out-of-the-way place, to -indulge his passion without restraint. His peculiar familiarity of -manner, his inexhaustible store of amusing small talk, and his airy way -of doing business, gave him a remarkable hold on the tradespeople of -Riga, who wished for nothing better than such entertainment as he was -able to give them. They provided him liberally with all the necessary -means and treated him in every respect with entire confidence. Under -his auspices my own engagement had been very easily secured. Surly old -pedants he would have none of, favouring young men on the score of -their youth alone. As far as I myself was concerned, it was enough for -him to know that I belonged to a family which he knew and liked, and -hearing, moreover, of my fervent devotion to modern Italian and French -music in particular, he decided that I was the very man for him. He had -the whole shoal of Bellini's, Donizetti's, Adam's, and Auber's operatic -scores copied out, and I was to give the good people of Riga the -benefit of them with all possible speed. - -The first time I visited Holtei I met an old Leipzig acquaintance, -Heinrich Dorn, my former mentor, who now held the permanent municipal -appointment of choir-master at the church and music-teacher in the -schools. He was pleased to find his curious pupil transformed into a -practical opera conductor of independent position, and no less -surprised to see the eccentric worshipper of Beethoven changed into an -ardent champion of Bellini and Adam. He took me home to his summer -residence, which was built, according to Riga phraseology, 'in the -fields,' that is literally, on the sand. While I was giving him some -account of the experiences through which I had passed, I grew conscious -of the strangely deserted look of the place. Feeling frightened and -homeless, my initial uneasiness gradually developed into a passionate -longing to escape from all the whirl of theatrical life which had wooed -me to such inhospitable regions. This uneasy mood was fast dispelling -the flippancy which at Magdeburg had led to my being dragged down to -the level of the most worthless stage society, and had also conduced to -spoil my musical taste. It also contained the germs of a new tendency -which developed during the period of my activity at Riga, brought me -more and more out of touch with the theatre, thereby causing Director -Holtei all the annoyance which inevitably attends disappointment. - -For some time, however, I found no difficulty in making the best of a -bad bargain. We were obliged to open the theatre before the company was -complete. To make this possible, we gave a performance of a short comic -opera by C. Blum, called Marie, Max und Michel. For this work I -composed an additional air for a song which Holtei had written for the -bass singer, Gunther; it consisted of a sentimental introduction and a -gay military rondo, and was very much appreciated. Later on, I -introduced another additional song into the Schweizerfamilie, to be -sung by another bass singer, Scheibler; it was of a devotional -character, and pleased not only the public, but myself, and showed -signs of the upheaval which was gradually taking place in my musical -development. I was entrusted with the composition of a tune for a -National Hymn written by Brakel in honour of the Tsar Nicholas's -birthday. I tried to give it as far as possible the right colouring for -a despotic patriarchal monarch, and once again I achieved some fame, -for it was sung for several successive years on that particular day. -Holtei tried to persuade me to write a bright, gay comic opera, or -rather a musical play, to be performed by our company just as it stood. -I looked up the libretto of my Glucktiche Barenfamilie, and found -Holtei very well disposed towards it (as I have stated elsewhere); but -when I unearthed the little music which I had already composed for it, -I was overcome with disgust at this way of writing; whereupon I made a -present of the book to my clumsy, good-natured friend, Lobmann, my -right-hand man in the orchestra, and never gave it another thought from -that day to this. I managed, however, to get to work on the libretto of -Rienzi, which I had sketched out at Blasewitz. I developed it from -every point of view, on so extravagant a scale, that with this work I -deliberately cut off all possibility of being tempted by circumstances -to produce it anywhere but on one of the largest stages in Europe. - -But while this helped to strengthen my endeavour to escape from all the -petty degradations of stage life, new complications arose which -affected me more and more seriously, and offered further opposition to -my aims. The prima donna engaged by Holtei had failed us, and we were -therefore without a singer for grand opera. Under the circumstances, -Holtei joyfully agreed to my proposal to ask Amalie, Minna's sister -(who was glad to accept an engagement that brought her near me), to -come to Riga at once. In her answer to me from Dresden, where she was -then living, she informed me of Minna's return to her parents, and of -her present miserable condition owing to a severe illness. I naturally -took this piece of news very coolly, for what I had heard about Minna -since she left me for the last time had forced me to authorise my old -friend at Konigsberg to take steps to procure a divorce. It was certain -that Minna had stayed for some time at a hotel in Hamburg with that -ill-omened man, Herr Dietrich, and that she had spread abroad the story -of our separation so unreservedly that the theatrical world in -particular had discussed it in a manner that was positively insulting -to me. I simply informed Amalie of this, and requested her to spare me -any further news of her sister. - -Hereupon Minna herself appealed to me, and wrote me a positively -heartrending letter, in which she openly confessed her infidelity. She -declared that she had been driven to it by despair, but that the great -trouble she had thus brought upon herself having taught her a lesson, -all she now wished was to return to the right path. Taking everything -into account, I concluded that she had been deceived in the character -of her seducer, and the knowledge of her terrible position had placed -her both morally and physically in a most lamentable condition, in -which, now ill and wretched, she turned to me again to acknowledge her -guilt, crave my forgiveness, and assure me, in spite of all, that she -had now become fully aware of her love for me. Never before had I heard -such sentiments from Minna, nor was I ever to hear the same from her -again, save on one touching occasion many years later, when similar -outpourings moved and affected me in the same way as this particular -letter had done. In reply I told her that there should never again be -any mention between us of what had occurred, for which I took upon -myself the chief blame; and I can pride myself on having carried out -this resolution to the letter. - -When her sister's engagement was satisfactorily settled, I at once -invited Minna to come to Riga with her. Both gladly accepted my -invitation, and arrived from Dresden at my new home on 19th October, -wintry weather having already set in. With much regret I perceived that -Minna's health had really suffered, and therefore did all in my power -to provide her with all the domestic comforts and quiet she needed. -This presented difficulties, for my modest income as a conductor was -all I had at my disposal, and we were both firmly determined not to let -Minna go on the stage again. On the other hand, the carrying out of -this resolve, in view of the financial inconvenience it entailed, -produced strange complications, the nature of which was only revealed -to me later, when startling developments divulged the real moral -character of the manager Holtei. For the present I had to let people -think that I was jealous of my wife. I bore patiently with the general -belief that I had good reasons to be so, and rejoiced meanwhile at the -restoration of our peaceful married life, and especially at the sight -of our humble home, which we made as comfortable as our means would -allow, and in the keeping of which Minna's domestic talents came -strongly to the fore. As we were still childless, and were obliged as a -rule to enlist the help of a dog in order to give life to the domestic -hearth, we once lighted upon the eccentric idea of trying our luck with -a young wolf which was brought into the house as a tiny cub. When we -found, however, that this experiment did not increase the comfort of -our home life, we gave him up after he had been with us a few weeks. We -fared better with sister Amalie; for she, with her good-nature and -simple homely ways, did much to make up for the absence of children for -a time. The two sisters, neither of whom had had any real education, -often returned playfully to the ways of their childhood. When they sang -children's duets, Minna, though she had had no musical training, always -managed very cleverly to sing seconds, and afterwards, as we sat at our -evening meal, eating Russian salad, salt salmon from the Dwina, or -fresh Russian caviare, we were all three very cheerful and happy far -away in our northern home. - -Amalie's beautiful voice and real vocal talent at first won for her a -very favourable reception with the public, a fact which did us all a -great deal of good. Being, however, very short, and having no very -great gift for acting, the scope of her powers was very limited, and as -she was soon surpassed by more successful competitors, it was a real -stroke of good luck for her that a young officer in the Russian army, -then Captain, now General, Carl von Meek, fell head over ears in love -with the simple girl, and married her a year later. The unfortunate -part of this engagement, however, was that it caused many difficulties, -and brought the first cloud over our menage a trois. For, after a -while, the two sisters quarrelled bitterly, and I had the very -unpleasant experience of living for a whole year in the same house with -two relatives who neither saw nor spoke to each other. - -We spent the winter at the beginning of 1838 in a very small dingy -dwelling in the old town; it was not till the spring that we moved into -a pleasanter house in the more salubrious Petersburg suburb, where, in -spite of the sisterly breach before referred to, we led a fairly bright -and cheerful life, as we were often able to entertain many of our -friends and acquaintances in a simple though pleasant fashion. In -addition to members of the stage I knew a few people in the town, and -we received and visited the family of Dorn, the musical director, with -whom I became quite intimate. But it was the second musical director, -Franz Lobmann, a very worthy though not a very gifted man, who became -most faithfully attached to me. However, I did not cultivate many -acquaintances in wider circles, and they grew fewer as the ruling -passion of my life grew steadily stronger; so that when, later on, I -left Riga, after spending nearly two years there, I departed almost as -a stranger, and with as much indifference as I had left Magdeburg and -Konigsberg. What, however, specially embittered my departure was a -series of experiences of a particularly disagreeable nature, which -firmly determined me to cut myself off entirely from the necessity of -mixing with any people like those I had met with in my previous -attempts to create a position for myself at the theatre. - -Yet it was only gradually that I became quite conscious of all this. At -first, under the safe guidance of my renewed wedded happiness, which -had for a time been so disturbed in its early days, I felt distinctly -better than I had before in all my professional work. The fact that the -material position of the theatrical undertaking was assured exercised a -healthy influence on the performances. The theatre itself was cooped up -in a very narrow space; there was as little room for scenic display on -its tiny stage as there was accommodation for rich musical effects in -the cramped orchestra. In both directions the strictest limits were -imposed, yet I contrived to introduce considerable reinforcements into -an orchestra which was really only calculated for a string quartette, -two first and two second violins, two violas, and one 'cello. These -successful exertions of mine were the first cause of the dislike Holtei -evinced towards me later on. After this we were able to get good -concerted music for the opera. I found the thorough study of Mehul's -opera, Joseph in Aegypten, very stimulating. Its noble and simple -style, added to the touching effect of the music, which quite carries -one away, did much towards effecting a favourable change in my taste, -till then warped by my connection with the theatre. - -It was most gratifying to feel my former serious taste again aroused by -really good dramatic performances. I specially remember a production of -King Lear, which I followed with the greatest interest, not only at the -actual performances, but at all the rehearsals as well. Yet these -educative impressions tended to make me feel ever more and more -dissatisfied with my work at the theatre. On the one hand, the members -of the company became gradually more distasteful to me, and on the -other I was growing discontented with the management. With regard to -the staff of the theatre, I very soon found out the hollowness, vanity, -and the impudent selfishness of this uncultured and undisciplined class -of people, for I had now lost my former liking for the Bohemian life -that had such an attraction for me at Magdeburg. Before long there were -but a few members of our company with whom I had not quarrelled, thanks -to one or the other of these drawbacks. But my saddest experience was, -that in such disputes, into which in fact I was led simply by my zeal -for the artistic success of the performances as a whole, not only did I -receive no support from Holtei, the director, but I actually made him -my enemy. He even declared publicly that our theatre had become far too -respectable for his taste, and tried to convince me that good -theatrical performances could not be given by a strait-laced company. - -In his opinion the idea of the dignity of theatrical art was pedantic -nonsense, and he thought light serio-comic vaudeville the only class of -performance worth considering. Serious opera, rich musical ensemble, -was his particular aversion, and my demands for this irritated him so -that he met them only with scorn and indignant refusals. Of the strange -connection between this artistic bias and his taste in the domain of -morality I was also to become aware, to my horror, in due course. For -the present I felt so repelled by the declaration of his artistic -antipathies, as to let my dislike for the theatre as a profession -steadily grow upon me. I still took pleasure in some good performances -which I was able to get up, under favourable circumstances, at the -larger theatre at Mitau, to where the company went for a time in the -early part of the summer. Yet it was while I was there, spending most -of my time reading Bulwer Lytton's novels, that I made a secret resolve -to try hard to free myself from all connection with the only branch of -theatrical art which had so far been open to me. - -The composition of my Rienzi, the text of which I had finished in the -early days of my sojourn in Riga, was destined to bridge me over to the -glorious world for which I had longed so intensely. I had laid aside -the completion of my Gluckliche Barenfamilie, for the simple reason -that the lighter character of this piece would have thrown me more into -contact with the very theatrical people I most despised. My greatest -consolation now was to prepare Rienzi with such an utter disregard of -the means which were available there for its production, that my desire -to produce it would force me out of the narrow confines of this puny -theatrical circle to seek a fresh connection with one of the larger -theatres. It was after our return from Mitau, in the middle of the -summer of 1838, that I set to work on this composition, and by so doing -roused myself to a state of enthusiasm which, considering my position, -was nothing less than desperate dare-devilry. All to whom I confided my -plan perceived at once, on the mere mention of my subject, that I was -preparing to break away from my present position, in which there could -be no possibility of producing my work, and I was looked upon as -light-headed and fit only for an asylum. - -To all my acquaintances my procedure seemed stupid and reckless. Even -the former patron of my peculiar Leipzig overture thought it -impracticable and eccentric, seeing that I had again turned my back on -light opera. He expressed this opinion very freely in the Neue -Zeitschrift fur Musik, in a report of a concert I had given towards the -end of the previous winter, and openly ridiculed the Magdeburg Columbus -Overture and the Rule Britannia Overture previously mentioned. I myself -had not taken any pleasure in the performance of either of these -overtures, as my predilection for cornets, strongly marked in both -these overtures, again played me a sorry trick, as I had evidently -expected too much of our Riga musicians, and had to endure all kinds of -disappointment on the occasion of the performance. As a complete -contrast to my extravagant setting of Rienzi, this same director, H. -Dorn, had set to work to write an opera in which he had most carefully -borne in mind the conditions obtaining at the Riga theatre. Der Schoffe -van Paris, an historical operetta of the period of the siege of Paris -by Joan of Arc, was practised and performed by us to the complete -satisfaction of the composer. However, the success of this work gave me -no reason for abandoning my project to complete my Rienzi, and I was -secretly pleased to find that I could regard this success without a -trace of envy. Though animated by no feeling of rivalry, I gradually -gave up associating with the Riga artists, confining myself chiefly to -the performance of the duties I had undertaken, and worked away at the -two first acts of my big opera without troubling myself at all whether -I should ever get so far as to see it produced. - -The serious and bitter experiences I had had so early in life had done -much to guide me towards that intensely earnest side of my nature that -had manifested itself in my earliest youth. The effect of these bitter -experiences was now to be still further emphasised by other sad -impressions. Not long after Minna had rejoined me, I received from home -the news of the death of my sister Rosalie. It was the first time in my -life that I had experienced the passing away of one near and dear to -me. The death of this sister struck me as a most cruel and significant -blow of fate; it was out of love and respect for her that I had turned -away so resolutely from my youthful excesses, and it was to gain her -sympathy that I had devoted special thought and care to my first great -works. When the passions and cares of life had come upon me and driven -me away from my home, it was she who had read deep down into my sorely -stricken heart, and who had bidden me that anxious farewell on my -departure from Leipzig. At the time of my disappearance, when the news -of my wilful marriage and of my consequent unfortunate position reached -my family, it was she who, as my mother informed me later, never lost -her faith in me, but who always cherished the hope that I would one day -reach the full development of my capabilities and make a genuine -success of my life. - -Now, at the news of her death, and illuminated by the recollection of -that one impressive farewell, as by a flash of lightning I saw the -immense value my relations with this sister had been to me, and I did -not fully realise the extent of her influence until later on, when, -after my first striking successes, my mother tearfully lamented that -Rosalie had not lived to witness them. It really did me good to be -again in communication with my family. My mother and sisters had had -news of my doings somehow or other, and I was deeply touched, in the -letters which I was now receiving from them, to hear no reproaches -anent my headstrong and apparently heartless behaviour, but only -sympathy and heartfelt solicitude. My family had also received -favourable reports about my wife's good qualities, a fact about which I -was particularly glad, as I was thus spared the difficulties of -defending her questionable behaviour to me, which I should have been at -pains to excuse. This produced a salutary calm in my soul, which had so -recently been a prey to the worst anxieties. All that had driven me -with such passionate haste to an improvident and premature marriage, -all that had consequently weighed on me so ruinously, now seemed set at -rest, leaving peace in its stead. And although the ordinary cares of -life still pressed on me for many years, often in a most vexatious and -troublesome form, yet the anxieties attendant on my ardent youthful -wishes were in a manner subdued and calm. From thence forward till the -attainment of my professional independence, all my life's struggles -could be directed entirely towards that more ideal aim which, from the -time of the conception of my Rienzi, was to be my only guide through -life. - -It was only later that I first realised the real character of my life -in Riga, from the utterance of one of its inhabitants, who was -astonished to learn of the success of a man of whose importance, during -the whole of his two years' sojourn in the small capital of Livonia, -nothing had been known. Thrown entirely on my own resources, I was a -stranger to every one. As I mentioned before, I kept aloof from all the -theatre folk, in consequence of my increasing dislike of them, and -therefore, when at the end of March, 1839, at the close of my second -winter there, I was given my dismissal by the management, although this -occurrence surprised me for other reasons, yet I felt fully reconciled -to this compulsory change in my life. The reasons which led to this -dismissal were, however, of such a nature that I could only regard it -as one of the most disagreeable experiences of my life. Once, when I -was lying dangerously ill, I heard of Holtei's real feelings towards -me. I had caught a severe cold in the depth of winter at a theatrical -rehearsal, and it at once assumed a serious character, owing to the -fact that my nerves were in a state of constant irritation from the -continual annoyance and vexatious worry caused by the contemptible -character of the theatrical management. It was just at the time when a -special performance of the opera Norma was to be given by our company -in Mitau. Holtei insisted on my getting up from a sick-bed to make this -wintry journey, and thus to expose myself to the danger of seriously -increasing my cold in the icy theatre at Mitau. Typhoid fever was the -consequence, and this pulled me down to such an extent that Holtei, who -heard of my condition, is said to have remarked at the theatre that I -should probably never conduct again, and that, to all intents and -purposes, 'I was on my last legs.' It was to a splendid homoeopathic -physician, Dr. Prutzer, that I owed my recovery and my life. Not long -after that Holtei left our theatre and Riga for ever; his occupation -there, with 'the far too respectable conditions,' as he expressed it, -had become intolerable to him. In addition, however, circumstances had -arisen in his domestic life (which had been much affected by the death -of his wife) which seemed to make him consider a complete break with -Riga eminently desirable. But to my astonishment I now first became -aware that I too had unconsciously been a sufferer from the troubles he -had brought upon himself. When Holtei's successor in the -management--Joseph Hoffmann the singer--informed me that his -predecessor had made it a condition to his taking over the post that he -should enter into the same engagement that Holtei had made with the -conductor Dorn for the post which I had hitherto filled, and my -reappointment had therefore been made an impossibility, my wife met my -astonishment at this news by giving me the reason, of which for some -considerable time past she had been well aware, namely, Holtei's -special dislike of us both. When I was afterwards informed by Minna of -what had happened--she having purposely kept it from me all this time, -so as not to cause bad feeling between me and my director--a ghastly -light was thrown upon the whole affair. I did indeed remember perfectly -how, soon after Minna's arrival in Riga, I had been particularly -pressed by Holtei not to prevent my wife's engagement at the theatre. I -asked him to talk things quietly over with her, so that he might see -that Minna's unwillingness rested on a mutual understanding, and not on -any jealousy on my part. I had intentionally given him the time when I -was engaged at the theatre on rehearsals for the necessary discussions -with my wife. At the end of these meetings I had, on my return, often -found Minna in a very excited condition, and at length she declared -emphatically that under no circumstances would she accept the -engagement offered by Holtei. I had also noticed in Minna's demeanour -towards me a strange anxiety to know why I was not unwilling to allow -Holtei to try to persuade her. Now that the catastrophe had occurred, I -learned that Holtei had in fact used these interviews for making -improper advances to my wife, the nature of which I only realised with -difficulty on further acquaintance with this man's peculiarities, and -after having heard of other instances of a similar nature. I then -discovered that Holtei considered it an advantage to get himself talked -about in connection with pretty women, in order thus to divert the -attention of the public from other conduct even more disreputable. -After this Minna was exceedingly indignant at Holtei, who, finding his -own suit rejected, appeared as the medium for another suitor, on whose -behalf he urged that he would think none the worse of her for rejecting -him, a grey-haired and penniless man, but at the same time advocated -the suit of Brandenburg, a very wealthy and handsome young merchant. -His fierce indignation at this double repulse, his humiliation at -having revealed his real nature to no purpose, seems, to judge from -Minna's observations, to have been exceedingly great. I now understood -too well that his frequent and profoundly contemptuous sallies against -respectable actors and actresses had not been mere spirited -exaggerations, but that he had probably often had to complain of being -put thoroughly to shame on this account. - -The fact that the playing of such criminal parts as the one he had had -in view with my wife was unable to divert the ever-increasing attention -of the outside world from his vicious and dissolute habits, does not -seem to have escaped him; for those behind the scenes told me candidly -that it was owing to the fear of very unpleasant revelations that he -had suddenly decided to give up his position at Riga altogether. Even -in much later years I heard about Holtei's bitter dislike of me, a -dislike which showed itself, among other things, in his denunciation of -The Music of the Future, [Footnote: Zukunftsmusik is a pamphlet -revealing some of Wagner's artistic aims and aspirations, written -1860-61.--EDITOR.] and of its tendency to jeopardise the simplicity of -pure sentiment. I have previously mentioned that he displayed so much -personal animosity against me during the latter part of the time we -were together in Riga that he vented his hostility upon me in every -possible way. Up to that time I had felt inclined to ascribe it to the -divergence of our respective views on artistic points. - -To my dismay I now became aware that personal considerations alone were -at the bottom of all this, and I blushed to realise that by my former -unreserved confidence in a man whom I thought was absolutely honest, I -had based my knowledge of human nature on such very weak foundations. -But still greater was my disappointment when I discovered the real -character of my friend H. Dorn. During the whole time of our -intercourse at Riga, he, who formerly treated me more like a -good-natured elder brother, had become my most confidential friend. We -saw and visited each other almost daily, very frequently in our -respective homes. I kept not a single secret from him, and the -performance of his Schoffe van Paris under my direction was as -successful as if it had been under his own. Now, when I heard that my -post had been given to him, I felt obliged to ask him about it, in -order to learn whether there was any mistake on his part as to my -intention regarding the position I had hitherto held. But from his -letter in reply I could clearly see that Dorn had really made use of -Holtei's dislike for me to extract from him, before his departure, an -arrangement which was both binding on his successor and also in his -(Dorn's) own favour. As my friend he ought to have known that he could -benefit by this agreement only in the event of my resigning my -appointment in Riga, because in our confidential conversations, which -continued to the end, he always carefully refrained from touching on -the possibility of my going away or remaining. In fact, he declared -that Holtei had distinctly told him he would on no account re-engage -me, as I could not get on with the singers. He added that after this -one could not take it amiss if he, who had been inspired with fresh -enthusiasm for the theatre by the success of his Schoffe von Paris, had -seized and turned to his own advantage the chance offered to him. -Moreover, he had gathered from my confidential communications that I -was very awkwardly situated, and that, owing to my small salary having -been cut down by Holtei from the very beginning, I was in a very -precarious position on account of the demands of my creditors in -Konigsberg and Magdeburg. It appeared that these people had employed -against me a lawyer, who was a friend of Dorn's, and that, -consequently, he had come to the conclusion that I would not be able to -remain in Riga. Therefore, even as my friend, he had felt his -conscience quite clear in accepting Holtei's proposal. - -In order not to leave him in the complacent enjoyment of this -self-deception, I put it clearly before him that he could not be -ignorant of the fact that a higher salary had been promised to me for -the third year of my contract; and that, by the establishment of -orchestral concerts, which had already made a favourable start, I now -saw my way to getting free from those long-standing debts, having -already overcome the difficulties of the removal and settling down. I -also asked him how he would act if I saw it was to my own interest to -retain my post, and to call on him to resign his agreement with Holtei, -who, as a matter of fact, after his departure from Riga, had withdrawn -his alleged reason for my dismissal. To this I received no answer, nor -have I had one up to the present day; but, on the other hand, in 1865, -I was astonished to see Dorn enter my house in Munich unannounced, and -when to his joy I recognised him, he stepped up to me with a gesture -which clearly showed his intention of embracing me. Although I managed -to evade this, yet I soon saw the difficulty of preventing him from -addressing me with the familiar form of 'thou,' as the attempt to do so -would have necessitated explanations that would have been a useless -addition to all my worries just then; for it was the time when my -Tristan was being produced. - -Such a man was Heinrich Dorn. Although, after the failure of three -operas, he had retired in disgust from the theatre to devote himself -exclusively to the commercial side of music, yet the success of his -opera, Der Schoffe von Paris, in Riga helped him back to a permanent -place among the dramatic musicians of Germany. But to this position he -was first dragged from obscurity, across the bridge of infidelity to -his friend, and by the aid of virtue in the person of Director Holtei, -thanks to a magnanimous oversight on the part of Franz Listz. The -preference of King Friedrich Wilhelm IV. for church scenes contributed -to secure him eventually his important position at the greatest lyric -theatre in Germany, the Royal Opera of Berlin. For he was prompted far -less by his devotion to the dramatic muse than by his desire to secure -a good position in some important German city, when, as already hinted, -through Liszt's recommendation he was appointed musical director of -Cologne Cathedral. During a fete connected with the building of the -cathedral he managed, as a musician, so to work upon the Prussian -monarch's religious feelings, that he was appointed to the dignified -post of musical conductor at the Royal Theatre, in which capacity he -long continued to do honour to German dramatic music in conjunction -with Wilhelm Taubert. - -I must give J. Hoffmann, who from this time forward was the manager of -the Riga theatre, the credit of having felt the treachery practised -upon me very deeply indeed. He told me that his contract with Dorn -bound him only for one year, and that the moment the twelve months had -elapsed he wished to come to a fresh agreement with me. As soon as this -was known, my patrons in Riga came forward with offers of teaching -engagements and arrangements for sundry concerts, by way of -compensating me for the year's salary which I should lose by being away -from my work as a conductor. Though I was much gratified by these -offers, yet, as I have already pointed out, the longing to break loose -from the kind of theatrical life which I had experienced up to that -time so possessed me that I resolutely seized this chance of abandoning -my former vocation for an entirely new one. Not without some -shrewdness, I played upon my wife's indignation at the treachery I had -suffered, in order to make her fall in with my eccentric notion of -going to Paris. Already in my conception of Rienzi I had dreamed of the -most magnificent theatrical conditions, but now, without halting at any -intermediate stations, my one desire was to reach the very heart of all -European grand opera. While still in Magdeburg I had made H. Konig's -romance, Die Hohe Braut, the subject of a grand opera in five acts, and -in the most luxurious French style. After the scenic draft of this -opera, which had been translated into French, was completely worked -out, I sent it from Konigsberg to Scribe in Paris. With this manuscript -I sent a letter to the famous operatic poet, in which I suggested that -he might make use of my plot, on condition that he would secure me the -composition of the music for the Paris Opera House. To convince him of -my ability to compose Parisian operatic music, I also sent him the -score of my Liebesverbot. At the same time I wrote to Meyerbeer, -informing him of my plans, and begging him to support me. I was not at -all disheartened at receiving no reply, for I was content to know that -now at last 'I was in communication with Paris.' When, therefore, I -started out upon my daring journey from Riga, I seemed to have a -comparatively serious object in view, and my Paris projects no longer -struck me as being altogether in the air. In addition to this I now -heard that my youngest sister, Cecilia, had become betrothed to a -certain Eduard Avenarius, an employee of the Brockhaus book-selling -firm, and that he had undertaken the management of their Paris branch. -To him I applied for news of Scribe, and for an answer to the -application I had made to that gentleman some years previously. -Avenarius called on Scribe, and from him received an acknowledgment of -the receipt of my earlier communication. Scribe also showed that he had -some recollection of the subject itself; for he said that, so far as he -could remember, there was a joueuse de harpe in the piece, who was -ill-treated by her brother. The fact that this merely incidental item -had alone remained in his memory led me to conclude that he had not -extended his acquaintance with the piece beyond the first act, in which -the item in question occurs. When, moreover, I heard that he had -nothing to say in regard to my score, except that he had had portions -of it played over to him by a pupil of the Conservatoire, I really -could not flatter myself that he had entered into definite and -conscious relations with me. And yet I had palpable evidence in a -letter of his to Avenarius, which the latter forwarded to me, that -Scribe had actually occupied himself with my work, and that I was -indeed in communication with him, and this letter of Scribe's made such -an impression upon my wife, who was by no means inclined to be -sanguine, that she gradually overcame her apprehensions in regard to -the Paris adventure. At last it was fixed and settled that on the -expiry of my second year's contract in Riga (that is to say, in the -coming summer, 1839), we should journey direct from Riga to Paris, in -order that I might try my luck there as a composer of opera. - -The production of my Rienzi now began to assume greater importance. The -composition of its second act was finished before we started, and into -this I wove a heroic ballet of extravagant dimensions. It was now -imperative that I should speedily acquire a knowledge of French, a -language which, during my classical studies at the Grammar School, I -had contemptuously laid aside. As there were only four weeks in which -to recover the time I had lost, I engaged an excellent French master. -But as I soon realised that I could achieve but little in so short a -time, I utilised the hours of the lessons in order to obtain from him, -under the pretence of receiving instruction, an idiomatic translation -of my Rienzi libretto. This I wrote with red ink on such parts of the -score as were finished, so that on reaching Paris I might immediately -submit my half-finished opera to French judges of art. - -Everything now seemed to be carefully prepared for my departure, and -all that remained to be done was to raise the necessary funds for my -undertaking. But in this respect the outlook was bad. The sale of our -modest household furniture, the proceeds of a benefit concert, and my -meagre savings only sufficed to satisfy the importunate demands of my -creditors in Magdeburg and Konigsberg. I knew that if I were to devote -all my cash to this purpose, there would not be a farthing left. Some -way out of the fix must be found, and this our old Konigsberg friend, -Abraham Moller, suggested in his usual flippant and obscure manner. -Just at this critical moment he paid us a second visit to Riga. I -acquainted him with the difficulties of our position, and all the -obstacles which stood in the way of my resolve to go to Paris. In his -habitual laconical way he counselled me to reserve all my savings for -our journey, and to settle with my creditors when my Parisian successes -had provided the necessary means. To help us in carrying out this plan, -he offered to convey us in his carriage across the Russian frontier at -top speed to an East Prussian port. We should have to cross the Russian -frontier without passports, as these had been already impounded by our -foreign creditors. He assured us that we should find it quite simple to -carry out this very hazardous expedition, and declared that he had a -friend on a Prussian estate close to the frontier who would render us -very effective assistance. My eagerness to escape at any price from my -previous circumstances, and to enter with all possible speed upon the -wider field, in which I hoped very soon to realise my ambition, blinded -me to all the unpleasantnesses which the execution of his proposal must -entail. Director Hoffmann, who considered himself bound to serve me to -the utmost of his ability, facilitated my departure by allowing me to -leave some months before the expiration of my engagement. After -continuing to conduct the operatic portion of the Mitau theatrical -season through the month of June, we secretly started in a special -coach hired by Moller and under his protection. The goal of our journey -was Paris, but many unheard-of hardships were in store for us before we -were to reach that city. - -The sense of contentment involuntarily aroused by our passage through -the fruitful Courland in the luxuriant month of July, and by the sweet -illusion that now at last I had cut myself loose from a hateful -existence, to enter upon a new and boundless path of fortune, was -disturbed from its very outset by the miserable inconveniences -occasioned by the presence of a huge Newfoundland dog called Robber. -This beautiful creature, originally the property of a Riga merchant, -had, contrary to the nature of his race, become devotedly attached to -me. After I had left Riga, and during my long stay in Mitau, Robber -incessantly besieged my empty house, and so touched the hearts of my -landlord and the neighbours by his fidelity, that they sent the dog -after me by the conductor of the coach to Mitau, where I greeted him -with genuine effusion, and swore that, in spite of all difficulties, I -would never part with him again. Whatever might happen, the dog must go -with us to Paris. And yet, even to get him into the carriage proved -almost impossible. All my endeavours to find him a place in or about -the vehicle were in vain, and, to my great grief, I had to watch the -huge northern beast, with his shaggy coat, gallop all day long in the -blazing sun beside the carriage. At last, moved to pity by his -exhaustion, and unable to bear the sight any longer, I hit upon a most -ingenious plan for bringing the great animal with us into the carriage, -where, in spite of its being full to overflowing, he was just able to -find room. - -On the evening of the second day we reached the Russo-Prussian -frontier. Moller's evident anxiety as to whether we should be able to -cross it safely showed us plainly that the matter was one of some -danger. His good friend from the other side duly turned up with a small -carriage, as arranged, and in this conveyance drove Minna, myself, and -Robber through by paths to a certain point, whence he led us on foot to -a house of exceedingly suspicious exterior, where, after handing us -over to a guide, he left us. There we had to wait until sundown, and -had ample leisure in which to realise that we were in a smugglers' -drinking den, which gradually became filled to suffocation with Polish -Jews of most forbidding aspect. - -At last we were summoned to follow our guide. A few hundred feet away, -on the slope of a hill, lay the ditch which runs the whole length of -the Russian frontier, watched continually and at very narrow intervals -by Cossacks. Our chance was to utilise the few moments after the relief -of the watch, during which the sentinels were elsewhere engaged. We -had, therefore, to run at full speed down the hill, scramble through -the ditch, and then hurry along until we were beyond the range of the -soldiers' guns; for the Cossacks were bound in case of discovery to -fire upon us even on the other side of the ditch. In spite of my almost -passionate anxiety for Minna, I had observed with singular pleasure the -intelligent behaviour of Robber, who, as though conscious of the -danger, silently kept close to our side, and entirely dispelled my fear -that he would give trouble during our dangerous passage. At last our -trusted helpmeet reappeared, and was so delighted that he hugged us all -in his arms. Then, placing us once more in his carriage, he drove us to -the inn of the Prussian frontier village, where my friend Moller, -positively sick with anxiety, leaped sobbing and rejoicing out of bed -to greet us. - -It was only now that I began to realise the danger to which I had -exposed, not only myself, but also my poor Minna, and the folly of -which I had been guilty through my ignorance of the terrible -difficulties of secretly crossing the frontier--difficulties concerning -which Moller had foolishly allowed me to remain in ignorance. - -I was simply at a loss to convey to my poor exhausted wife how -extremely I regretted the whole affair. - -And yet the difficulties we had just overcome were but the prelude to -the calamities incidental to this adventurous journey which had such a -decisive influence on my life. The following day, when, with courage -renewed, we drove through the rich plain of Tilsit to Arnau, near -Konigsberg, we decided, as the next stage of our journey, to proceed -from the Prussian harbour of Pillau by sailing vessel to London. Our -principal reason for this was the consideration of the dog we had with -us. It was the easiest way to take him. To convey him by coach from -Konigsberg to Paris was out of the question, and railways were unknown. -But another consideration was our budget; the whole result of my -desperate efforts amounted to not quite one hundred ducats, which were -to cover not only the journey to Paris, but our expenses there until I -should have earned something. Therefore, after a few days' rest in the -inn at Arnau, we drove to the little seaport town of Pillau, again -accompanied by Moller, in one of the ordinary local conveyances, which -was not much better than a wagon. In order to avoid Konigsberg, we -passed through the smaller villages and over bad roads. Even this short -distance was not to be covered without accident. The clumsy conveyance -upset in a farmyard, and Minna was so severely indisposed by the -accident, owing to an internal shock, that I had to drag her--with the -greatest difficulty, as she was quite helpless--to a peasant's house. -The people were surly and dirty, and the night we spent there was a -painful one for the poor sufferer. A delay of several days occurred -before the departure of the Pillau vessel, but this was welcome as a -respite to allow of Minna's recovery. Finally, as the captain was to -take us without a passport, our going on board was accompanied by -exceptional difficulties. We had to contrive to slip past the harbour -watch to our vessel in a small boat before daybreak. Once on board, we -still had the troublesome task of hauling Robber up the steep side of -the vessel without attracting attention, and after that to conceal -ourselves at once below deck, in order to escape the notice of -officials visiting the ship before its departure. The anchor was -weighed, and at last, as the land faded gradually out of sight, we -thought we could breathe freely and feel at ease. - -We were on board a merchant vessel of the smallest type. She was called -the Thetis; a bust of the nymph was erected in the bows, and she -carried a crew of seven men, including the captain. With good weather, -such as was to be expected in summer, the journey to London was -estimated to take eight days. However, before we had left the Baltic, -we were delayed by a prolonged calm. I made use of the time to improve -my knowledge of French by the study of a novel, La Derniere Aldini, by -George Sand. We also derived some entertainment from associating with -the crew. There was an elderly and peculiarly taciturn sailor named -Koske, whom we observed carefully because Robber, who was usually so -friendly, had taken an irreconcilable dislike to him. Oddly enough, -this fact was to add in some degree to our troubles in the hour of -danger. After seven days' sailing we were no further than Copenhagen, -where, without leaving the vessel, we seized an opportunity of making -our very spare diet on board more bearable by various purchases of food -and drink. In good spirits we sailed past the beautiful castle of -Elsinore, the sight of which brought me into immediate touch with my -youthful impressions of Hamlet. We were sailing all unsuspecting -through the Cattegat to the Skagerack, when the wind, which had at -first been merely unfavourable, and had forced us to a process of weary -tacking, changed on the second day to a violent storm. For twenty-four -hours we had to struggle against it under disadvantages which were -quite new to us. In the captain's painfully narrow cabin, in which one -of us was without a proper berth, we were a prey to sea-sickness and -endless alarms. Unfortunately, the brandy cask, at which the crew -fortified themselves during their strenuous work, was let into a hollow -under the seat on which I lay at full length. Now it happened to be -Koske who came most frequently in search of the refreshment which was -such a nuisance to me, and this in spite of the fact that on each -occasion he had to encounter Robber in mortal combat. The dog flew at -him with renewed rage each time he came climbing down the narrow steps. -I was thus compelled to make efforts which, in my state of complete -exhaustion from sea-sickness, rendered my condition every time more -critical. At last, on 27th July, the captain was compelled by the -violence of the west wind to seek a harbour on the Norwegian coast. And -how relieved I was to behold that far-reaching rocky coast, towards -which we were being driven at such speed! A Norwegian pilot came to -meet us in a small boat, and, with experienced hand, assumed control of -the Thetis, whereupon in a very short time I was to have one of the -most marvellous and most beautiful impressions of my life. What I had -taken to be a continuous line of cliffs turned out on our approach to -be a series of separate rocks projecting from the sea. Having sailed -past them, we perceived that we were surrounded, not only in front and -at the sides, but also at our back, by these reefs, which closed in -behind us so near together that they seemed to form a single chain of -rocks. At the same time the hurricane was so broken by the rocks in our -rear that the further we sailed through this ever-changing labyrinth of -projecting rocks, the calmer the sea became, until at last the vessel's -progress was perfectly smooth and quiet as we entered one of those long -sea-roads running through a giant ravine--for such the Norwegian fjords -appeared to me. - -A feeling of indescribable content came over me when the enormous -granite walls echoed the hail of the crew as they cast anchor and -furled the sails. The sharp rhythm of this call clung to me like an -omen of good cheer, and shaped itself presently into the theme of the -seamen's song in my Fliegender Hollander. The idea of this opera was, -even at that time, ever present in my mind, and it now took on a -definite poetic and musical colour under the influence of my recent -impressions. Well, our next move was to go on shore. I learned that the -little fishing village at which we landed was called Sandwike, and was -situated a few miles away from the much larger town of Arendal. We were -allowed to put up at the hospitable house of a certain ship's captain, -who was then away at sea, and here we were able to take the rest we so -much needed, as the unabated violence of the wind in the open detained -us there two days. On 31st July the captain insisted on leaving, -despite the pilot's warning. We had been on board the Thetis a few -hours, and were in the act of eating a lobster for the first time in -our lives, when the captain and the sailors began to swear violently at -the pilot, whom I could see at the helm, rigid with fear, striving to -avoid a reef--barely visible above the water--towards which our ship -was being driven. Great was our terror at this violent tumult, for we -naturally thought ourselves in the most extreme danger. The vessel did -actually receive a severe shock, which, to my vivid imagination, seemed -like the splitting up of the whole ship. Fortunately, however, it -transpired that only the side of our vessel had fouled the reef, and -there was no immediate danger. Nevertheless, the captain deemed it -necessary to steer for a harbour to have the vessel examined, and we -returned to the coast and anchored at another point. The captain then -offered to take us in a small boat with two sailors to Tromsond, a town -of some importance situated at a few hours' distance, where he had to -invite the harbour officials to examine his ship. This again proved a -most attractive and impressive excursion. The view of one fjord in -particular, which extended far inland, worked on my imagination like -some unknown, awe-inspiring desert. This impression was intensified, -during a long walk from Tromsond up to the plateau, by the terribly -depressing effect of the dun moors, bare of tree or shrub, boasting -only a covering of scanty moss, which stretch away to the horizon, and -merge imperceptibly into the gloomy sky. It was long after dark when we -returned from this trip in our little boat, and my wife was very -anxious. The next morning (1st August), reassured as to the condition -of the vessel, and the wind favouring us, we were able to go to sea -without further hindrance. - -After four days' calm sailing a strong north wind arose, which drove us -at uncommon speed in the right direction. We began to think ourselves -nearly at the end of our journey when, on 6th August, the wind changed, -and the storm began to rage with unheard-of violence. On the 7th, a -Wednesday, at half-past two in the afternoon, we thought ourselves in -imminent danger of death. It was not the terrible force with which the -vessel was hurled up and down, entirely at the mercy of this sea -monster, which appeared now as a fathomless abyss, now as a steep -mountain peak, that filled me with mortal dread; my premonition of some -terrible crisis was aroused by the despondency of the crew, whose -malignant glances seemed superstitiously to point to us as the cause of -the threatening disaster. Ignorant of the trifling occasion for the -secrecy of our journey, the thought may have occurred to them that our -need of escape had arisen from suspicious or even criminal -circumstances. The captain himself seemed, in his extreme distress, to -regret having taken us on board; for we had evidently brought him -ill-luck on this familiar passage--usually a rapid and uncomplicated -one, especially in summer. At this particular moment there raged, -beside the tempest on the water, a furious thunderstorm overhead, and -Minna expressed the fervent wish to be struck by lightning with me -rather than to sink, living, into the fearful flood. She even begged me -to bind her to me, so that we might not be parted as we sank. Yet -another night was spent amid these incessant terrors, which only our -extreme exhaustion helped to mitigate. - -The following day the storm had subsided; the wind remained -unfavourable, but was mild. The captain now tried to find our bearings -by means of his astronomical instruments. He complained of the sky, -which had been overcast so many days, swore that he would give much for -a single glimpse of the sun or the stars, and did not conceal the -uneasiness he felt at not being able to indicate our whereabouts with -certainty. He consoled himself, however, by following a ship which was -sailing some knots ahead in the same direction, and whose movements he -observed closely through the telescope. Suddenly he sprang up in great -alarm, and gave a vehement order to change our course. He had seen the -ship in front go aground on a sand-bank, from which, he asserted, she -could not extricate herself; for he now realised that we were near the -most dangerous part of the belt of sand-banks bordering the Dutch coast -for a considerable distance. By dint of very skilful sailing, we were -enabled to keep the opposite course towards the English coast, which we -in fact sighted on the evening of 9th August, in the neighbourhood of -Southwold. I felt new life come into me when I saw in the far distance -the English pilots racing for our ship. As competition is free among -pilots on the English coast, they come out as far as possible to meet -incoming vessels, even when the risks are very great. - -The winner in our case was a powerful grey-haired man, who, after much -vain battling with the seething waves, which tossed his light boat away -from our ship at each attempt, at last succeeded in boarding the -Thetis. (Our poor, hardly-used boat still bore the name, although the -wooden figure-head of our patron nymph had been hurled into the sea -during our first storm in the Cattegat--an ill-omened incident in the -eyes of the crew.) We were filled with pious gratitude when this quiet -English sailor, whose hands were torn and bleeding from his repeated -efforts to catch the rope thrown to him on his approach, took over the -rudder. His whole personality impressed us most agreeably, and he -seemed to us the absolute guarantee of a speedy deliverance from our -terrible afflictions. We rejoiced too soon, however, for we still had -before us the perilous passage through the sand-banks off the English -coast, where, as I was assured, nearly four hundred ships are wrecked -on an average every year. We were fully twenty-four hours (from the -evening of the 10th to the 11th of August) amid these sandbanks, -fighting a westerly gale, which hindered our progress so seriously that -we only reached the mouth of the Thames on the evening of the 12th of -August. My wife had, up to that point, been so nervously affected by -the innumerable danger signals, consisting chiefly of small guardships -painted bright red and provided with bells on account of the fog, that -she could not close her eyes, day or night, for the excitement of -watching for them and pointing them out to the sailors. I, on the -contrary, found these heralds of human proximity and deliverance so -consoling that, despite Minna's reproaches, I indulged in a long -refreshing sleep. Now that we were anchored in the mouth of the Thames, -waiting for daybreak, I found myself in the best of spirits; I dressed, -washed, and even shaved myself up on deck near the mast, while Minna -and the whole exhausted crew were wrapped in deep slumber. And with -deepening interest I watched the growing signs of life in this famous -estuary. Our desire for a complete release from our detested -confinement led us, after we had sailed a little way up, to hasten our -arrival in London by going on board a passing steamer at Gravesend. As -we neared the capital, our astonishment steadily increased at the -number of ships of all sorts that filled the river, the houses, the -streets, the famous docks, and other maritime constructions which lined -the banks. When at last we reached London Bridge, this incredibly -crowded centre of the greatest city in the world, and set foot on land -after our terrible three weeks' voyage, a pleasurable sensation of -giddiness overcame us as our legs carried us staggering through the -deafening uproar. Robber seemed to be similarly affected, for he -whisked round the corners like a mad thing, and threatened to get lost -every other minute. But we soon sought safety in a cab, which took us, -on our captain's recommendation, to the Horseshoe Tavern, near the -Tower, and here we had to make our plans for the conquest of this giant -metropolis. - -The neighbourhood in which we found ourselves was such that we decided -to leave it with all possible haste. A very friendly little hunchbacked -Jew from Hamburg suggested better quarters in the West End, and I -remember vividly our drive there, in one of the tiny narrow cabs then -in use, the journey lasting fully an hour. They were built to carry two -people, who had to sit facing each other, and we therefore had to lay -our big dog crosswise from window to window. The sights we saw from our -whimsical nook surpassed anything we had imagined, and we arrived at -our boarding-house in Old Compton Street agreeably stimulated by the -life and the overwhelming size of the great city. Although at the age -of twelve I had made what I supposed to be a translation of a monologue -from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, I found my knowledge of English -quite inadequate when it came to conversing with the landlady of the -King's Arms. But the good dame's social condition as a sea-captain's -widow led her to think she could talk French to me, and her attempts -made me wonder which of us knew least of that language. And then a most -disturbing incident occurred--we missed Robber, who must have run away -at the door instead of following us into the house. Our distress at -having lost our good dog after having brought him all the way there -with such difficulty occupied us exclusively during the first two hours -we spent in this new home on land. We kept constant watch at the window -until, of a sudden, we joyfully recognised Robber strolling -unconcernedly towards the house from a side street. Afterwards we -learned that our truant had wandered as far as Oxford Street in search -of adventures, and I have always considered his amazing return to a -house which he had not even entered as a strong proof of the absolute -certainty of the animal's instincts in the matter of memory. - -We now had time to realise the tiresome after-effects of the voyage. -The continuous swaying of the floor and our clumsy efforts to keep from -falling we found fairly entertaining; but when we came to take our -well-earned rest in the huge English double bed, and found that that -too rocked up and down, it became quite unbearable. Every time we -closed our eyes we sank into frightful abysses, and, springing up -again, cried out for help. It seemed as if that terrible voyage would -go on to the end of our lives. Added to this we felt miserably sick; -for, after the atrocious food on board, we had been only too ready to -partake, with less discretion than relish, of tastier fare. - -We were so exhausted by all these trials that we forgot to consider -what was, after all, the vital question--the probable result in hard -cash. Indeed, the marvels of the great city proved so fascinating, that -we started off in a cab, for all the world as if we were on a pleasure -trip, to follow up a plan I had sketched on my map of London. In our -wonder and delight at what we saw, we quite forgot all we had gone -through. Costly as it proved, I considered our week's stay justified in -view of Minna's need of rest in the first place, and secondly, the -excellent opportunity it afforded me of making acquaintances in the -musical world. During my last visit to Dresden I had sent Rule -Britannia, the overture composed at Konigsberg, to Sir John Smart, -president of the Philharmonic Society. It is true he had never -acknowledged it, but I felt it the more incumbent on me to bring him to -task about it. I therefore spent some days trying to find out where he -lived, wondering meanwhile in which language I should have to make -myself understood, but as the result of my inquiries I discovered that -Smart was not in London at all. I next persuaded myself that it would -be a good thing to look up Bulwer Lytton, and to come to an -understanding about the operatic performance of his novel, Rienzi, -which I had dramatised. Having been told, on the continent, that Bulwer -was a member of Parliament, I went to the House, after a few days, to -inquire on the spot. My total ignorance of the English language stood -me in good stead here, and I was treated with unexpected consideration; -for, as none of the lower officials in that vast building could make -out what I wanted, I was sent, step by step, to one high dignitary -after the other, until at last I was introduced to a -distinguished-looking man, who came out of a large hall as we passed, -as an entirely unintelligible individual. (Minna was with me all the -time; only Robber. had been left behind at the King's Arms.) He asked -me very civilly what I wanted, in French, and seemed favourably -impressed when I inquired for the celebrated author. He was obliged to -tell me, however, that he was not in London. I went on to ask whether I -could not be admitted to a debate, but was told that, in consequence of -the old Houses of Parliament having been burnt down, they were using -temporary premises where the space was so limited that only a few -favoured visitors could procure cards of admittance. But on my pressing -more urgently he relented, and shortly after opened a door leading -direct into the strangers' seats in the House of Lords. It seemed -reasonable to conclude from this that our friend was a lord in person. -I was immensely interested to see and hear the Premier, Lord Melbourne, -and Brougham (who seemed to me to take a very active part in the -proceedings, prompting Melbourne several times, as I thought), and the -Duke of Wellington, who looked so comfortable in his grey beaver hat, -with his hands diving deep into his trousers pockets, and who made his -speech in so conversational a tone that I lost my feeling of excessive -awe. He had a curious way, too, of accenting his points of special -emphasis by shaking his whole body, I was also much interested in Lord -Lyndhurst, Brougham's particular enemy, and was amazed to see Brougham -go across several times to sit down coolly beside him, apparently with -a view to prompting even his opponent. The matter in hand was, as I -learned afterwards from the papers, the discussion of measures to be -taken against the Portuguese Government to ensure the passing of the -Anti-Slavery Bill. The Bishop of London, who was one of the speakers on -this occasion, was the only one of these gentlemen whose voice and -manner seemed to me stiff or unnatural, but possibly I was prejudiced -by my dislike of parsons generally. - -After this pleasing adventure I imagined I had exhausted the -attractions of London for the present, for although I could not gain -admittance to the Lower House, my untiring friend, whom I came across -again as I went out, showed me the room where the Commons sat, -explained as much as was necessary, and gave me a sight of the -Speaker's woolsack, and of his mace lying hidden under the table. He -also gave me such careful details of various things that I felt I knew -all there was to know about the capital of Great Britain. I had not the -smallest intention of going to the Italian opera, possibly because I -imagined the prices to be too ruinous. We thoroughly explored all the -principal streets, often tiring ourselves out; we shuddered through a -ghastly London Sunday, and wound up with a train trip (our very first) -to Gravesend Park, in the company of the captain of the Thetis. On the -20th of August we crossed over to France by steamer, arriving the same -evening at Boulogne-sur-mer, where we took leave of the sea with the -fervent desire never to go on it again. - -We were both of us secretly convinced that we should meet with -disappointments in Paris, and it was partly on that account that we -decided to spend a few weeks at or near Boulogne. It was, in any case, -too early in the season to find the various important people whom I -proposed to see, in town; on the other hand, it seemed to me a most -fortunate circumstance that Meyerbeer should happen to be at Boulogne. -Also, I had the instrumentation of part of the second act of Rienzi to -finish, and was bent on having at least half of the work ready to show -on my arrival in the costly French capital. We therefore set out to -find less expensive accommodation in the country round Boulogne. -Beginning with the immediate neighbourhood, our search ended in our -taking two practically unfurnished rooms in the detached house of a -rural wine merchant's, situated on the main road to Paris at half an -hour's distance from Boulogne. We next provided scanty but adequate -furniture, and in bringing our wits to bear upon this matter Minna -particularly distinguished herself. Besides a bed and two chairs, we -dug up a table, which, after I had cleared away my Rienzi papers, -served for our meals, which we had to prepare at our own fireside. - -While we were here I made my first call on Meyerbeer. I had often read -in the papers of his proverbial amiability, and bore him no ill-will -for not replying to my letter. My favourable opinion was soon to be -confirmed, however, by his kind reception of me. The impression he made -was good in every respect, particularly as regards his appearance. The -years had not yet given his features the flabby look which sooner or -later mars most Jewish faces, and the fine formation of his brow round -about the eyes gave him an expression of countenance that inspired -confidence. He did not seem in the least inclined to depreciate my -intention of trying my luck in Paris as a composer of opera; he allowed -me to read him my libretto for Rienzi, and really listened up to the -end of the third act. He kept the two acts that were complete, saying -that he wished to look them over, and assured me, when I again called -on him, of his whole-hearted interest in my work. Be this as it may, it -annoyed me somewhat that he should again and again fall back on -praising my minute handwriting, an accomplishment he considered -especially Saxonian. He promised to give me letters of recommendation -to Duponchel, the manager of the Opera House, and to Habeneck, the -conductor. I now felt that I had good cause to extol my good fortune -which, after many vicissitudes, had sent me precisely to this -particular spot in France. What better fortune could have befallen me -than to secure, in so short a time, the sympathetic interest of the -most famous composer of French opera! Meyerbeer took me to see -Moscheles, who was then in Boulogne, and also Fraulein Blahedka, a -celebrated virtuoso whose name I had known for many years. I spent a -few informal musical evenings at both houses, and thus came into close -touch with musical celebrities, an experience quite new to me. - -I had written to my future brother-in-law, Avernarius, in Paris, to ask -him to find us suitable accommodations, and we started on our journey -thither on 16th September in the diligence, my efforts to hoist Robber -on to the top being attended by the usual difficulties. - -My first impression of Paris proved disappointing in view of the great -expectations I had cherished of that city; after London it seemed to me -narrow and confined. I had imagined the famous boulevards to be much -vaster, for instance, and was really annoyed, when the huge coach put -us down in the Rue de la Juissienne, to think that I should first set -foot on Parisian soil in such a wretched little alley. Neither did the -Rue Richelieu, where my brother-in-law had his book-shop, seem imposing -after the streets in the west end of London. As for the chambre garnie, -which had been engaged for me in the Rue de la Tonnellerie, one of the -narrow side-streets which link the Rue St. Honore with the Marche des -Innocents, I felt positively degraded at having to take up my abode -there. I needed all the consolation that could be derived from an -inscription, placed under a bust of Moliere, which read: maison ou -naquit Moliere, to raise my courage after the mean impression the house -had first made upon me. The room, which had been prepared for us on the -fourth floor, was small but cheerful, decently furnished, and -inexpensive. From the windows we could see the frightful bustle in the -market below, which became more and more alarming as we watched it, and -I wondered what we were doing in such a quarter. - -Shortly after this, Avenarius had to go to Leipzig to bring home his -bride, my youngest sister Cecilia, after the wedding in that city. -Before leaving, he gave me an introduction to his only musical -acquaintance, a German holding an appointment in the music department -of the Bibliotheque Royale, named E. G. Anders, who lost no time in -looking us up in Moliere's house. He was, as I soon discovered, a man -of very unusual character, and, little as he was able to help me, he -left an affecting and ineffaceable impression on my memory. He was a -bachelor in the fifties, whose reverses had driven him to the sad -necessity of earning a living in Paris entirely without assistance. He -had fallen back on the extraordinary bibliographical knowledge which, -especially in reference to music, it had been his hobby to acquire in -the days of his prosperity. His real name he never told me, wishing to -guard the secret of that, as of his misfortunes, until after his death. -For the time being he told me only that he was known as Anders, was of -noble descent, and had held property on the Rhine, but that he had lost -everything owing to the villainous betrayal of his gullibility and -good-nature. The only thing he had managed to save was his very -considerable library, the size of which I was able to estimate for -myself. It filled every wall of his small dwelling. Even here in Paris -he soon complained of bitter enemies; for, in spite of having come -furnished with an introduction to influential people, he still held the -inferior position of an employee in the library. In spite of his long -service there and his great learning, he had to see really ignorant men -promoted over his head. I discovered afterwards that the real reason -lay in his unbusinesslike methods, and the effeminacy consequent on the -delicate way in which he had been nurtured in early life, which made -him incapable of developing the energy necessary for his work. On a -miserable pittance of fifteen hundred francs a year, he led a weary -existence, full of anxiety. With nothing in view but a lonely old age, -and the probability of dying in a hospital, it seemed as if our society -put new life into him; for though we were poverty-stricken, we looked -forward boldly and hopefully to the future. My vivacity and invincible -energy filled him with hopes of my success, and from this time forward -he took a most tender and unselfish part in furthering my interests. -Although he was a contributor to the Gazette Musicale, edited by Moritz -Schlesinger, he had never succeeded in making his influence felt there -in the slightest degree. He had none of the versatility of a -journalist, and the editors entrusted him with little besides the -preparation of bibliographical notes. Oddly enough, it was with this -unworldly and least resourceful of men that I had to discuss my plan -for the conquest of Paris, that is, of musical Paris, which is made up -of all the most questionable characters imaginable. The result was -practically always the same; we merely encouraged each other in the -hope that some unforeseen stroke of luck would help my cause. - -To assist us in these discussions Anders called in his friend and -housemate Lehrs, a philologist, my acquaintance with whom was soon to -develop into one of the most beautiful friendships of my life. Lehrs -was the younger brother of a famous scholar at Konigsberg. He had left -there to come to Paris some years before, with the object of gaining an -independent position by his philological work. This he preferred, in -spite of the attendant difficulties, to a post as teacher with a salary -which only in Germany could be considered sufficient for a scholar's -wants. He soon obtained work from Didot, the bookseller, as assistant -editor of a large edition of Greek classics, but the editor traded on -his poverty, and was much more concerned about the success of his -enterprise than about the condition of his poor collaborator. Lehrs had -therefore perpetually to struggle against poverty, but he preserved an -even temper, and showed himself in every way a model of -disinterestedness and self-sacrifice. At first he looked upon me only -as a man in need of advice, and incidentally a fellow-sufferer in -Paris; for he had no knowledge of music, and had no particular interest -in it. We soon became so intimate that I had him dropping in nearly -every evening with Anders, Lehrs being extremely useful to his friend, -whose unsteadiness in walking obliged him to use an umbrella and a -walking-stick as crutches. He was also nervous in crossing crowded -thorough-fares, and particularly so at night; while he always liked to -make Lehrs cross my threshold in front of him to distract the attention -of Robber, of whom he stood in obvious terror. Our usually good-natured -dog became positively suspicious of this visitor, and soon adopted -towards him the same aggressive attitude which he had shown to the -sailor Koske on board the Thetis. The two men lived at an hotel garni -in Rue de Seine. They complained greatly of their landlady, who -appropriated so much of their income that they were entirely in her -power. Anders had for years been trying to assert his independence by -leaving her, without being able to carry out his plan. We soon threw -off mutually every shred of disguise as to the present state of our -finances, so that, although the two house-holds were actually -separated, our common troubles gave us all the intimacy of one united -family. - -The various ways by which I might obtain recognition in Paris formed -the chief topic of our discussions at that time. Our hopes were at -first centred on Meyerbeer's promised letters of introduction. -Duponchel, the director of the Opera, did actually see me at his -office, where, fixing a monocle in his right eye, he read through -Meyerbeer's letter without betraying the least emotion, having no doubt -opened similar communications from the composer many times before. I -went away, and never heard another word from him. The elderly -conductor, Habeneck, on the other hand, took an interest in my work -that was not merely polite, and acceded to my request to have something -of mine played at one of the orchestral practises at the Conservatoire -as soon as he should have leisure. I had, unfortunately, no short -instrumental piece that seemed suitable except my queer Columbus -Overture, which I considered the most effective of all that had -emanated from my pen. It had been received with great applause on the -occasion of its performance in the theatre at Magdeburg, with the -assistance of the valiant trumpeters from the Prussian garrison. I gave -Habeneck the score and parts, and was able to report to our committee -at home that I had now one enterprise on foot. - -I gave up the attempt to try and see Scribe on the mere ground of our -having had some correspondence, for my friends had made it clear to me, -in the light of their own experience, that it was out of the question -to expect this exceptionally busy author to occupy himself seriously -with a young and unknown musician. Anders was able to introduce me to -another acquaintance, however, a certain M. Dumersan. This grey-haired -gentleman had written some hundred vaudeville pieces, and would have -been glad to see one of them performed as an opera on a larger scale -before his death. He had no idea of standing on his dignity as an -author, and was quite willing to undertake the translation of an -existing libretto into French verse. We therefore entrusted him with -the writing of my Liebesverbot, with a view to a performance at the -Theatre de la Renaissance, as it was then called. (It was the third -existing theatre for lyric drama, the performances being given in the -new Salle Ventadour, which had been rebuilt after its destruction by -fire.) On the understanding that it was to be a literal translation, he -at once turned the three numbers of my opera, for which I hoped to -secure a hearing, into neat French verse. Besides this, he asked me to -compose a chorus for a vaudeville entitled La Descente de la Courtille, -which was to be played at the Varietes during the carnival. - -This was a second opening. My friends now strongly advised me to write -something small in the way of songs, which I could offer to popular -singers for concert purposes. Both Lehrs and Anders produced words for -these. Anders brought a very innocent Dors, mon enfant, written by a -young poet of his acquaintance; this was the first thing I composed to -a French text. It was so successful that, when I had tried it over -softly several times on the piano, my wife, who was in bed, called out -to me that it was heavenly for sending one to sleep. I also set -L'Attente from Hugo's Orientales, and Ronsard's song, Mignonne, to -music. I have no reason to be ashamed of these small pieces, which I -published subsequently as a musical supplement to Europa (Lewald's -publication) in 1841. - -I next stumbled on the idea of writing a grand bass aria with a chorus, -for Lablache to introduce into his part of Orovist in Bellini's Norma. -Lehrs had to hunt up an Italian political refugee to get the text out -of him. This was done, and I produced an effective composition a la -Bellini (which still exists among my manuscripts), and went off at once -to offer it to Lablache. - -The friendly Moor, who received me in the great singer's anteroom, -insisted upon admitting me straight into his master's presence without -announcing me. As I had anticipated some difficulty in getting near -such a celebrity, I had written my request, as I thought this would be -simpler than explaining verbally. - -The black servant's pleasant manner made me feel very uncomfortable; I -entrusted my score and letter to him to give to Lablache, without -taking any notice of his kindly astonishment at my refusal of his -repeated invitation to go into his master's room and have an interview, -and I left the house hurriedly, intending to call for my answer in a -few days. When I came back Lablache received me most kindly, and -assured me that my aria was excellent, though it was impossible to -introduce it into Bellini's opera after the latter had already been -performed so very often. My relapse into the domain of Bellini's style, -of which I had been guilty through the writing of this aria, was -therefore useless to me, and I soon became convinced of the -fruitlessness of my efforts in that direction. I saw that I should need -personal introductions to various singers in order to ensure the -production of one of my other compositions. - -When Meyerbeer at last arrived in Paris, therefore, I was delighted. He -was not in the least astonished at the lack of success of his letters -of introduction; on the contrary, he made use of this opportunity to -impress upon me how difficult it was to get on in Paris, and how -necessary it was for me to look out for less pretentious work. With -this object he introduced me to Maurice Schlesinger, and leaving me at -the mercy of that monstrous person, went back to Germany. - -At first Schlesinger did not know what to do with me; the acquaintances -I made through him (of whom the chief was the violinist Panofka) led to -nothing, and I therefore returned to my advisory board at home, through -whose influence I had recently received an order to compose the music -to the Two Grenadiers, by Heine, translated by a Parisian professor. I -wrote this song for baritone, and was very pleased with the result; on -Ander's advice I now tried to find singers for my new compositions. -Mme. Pauline Viardot, on whom I first called, went through my songs -with me. She was very amiable, and praised them, but did not see why -SHE should sing them. I went through the same experience with a Mme. -Widmann, a grand contralto, who sang my Dors, mon enfant with great -feeling; all the same she had no further use for my composition. A -certain M. Dupont, third tenor at the grand opera, tried my setting of -the Ronsard poem, but declared that the language in which it was -written was no longer palatable to the Paris public. M. Geraldy, a -favourite concert singer and teacher, who allowed me to call and see -him frequently, told me that the Two Grenadiers was impossible, for the -simple reason that the accompaniment at the end of the song, which I -had modelled upon the Marseillaise, could only be sung in the streets -of Paris to the accompaniment of cannons and gunshots. Habeneck was the -only person who fulfilled his promise to conduct my Columbus Overture -at one of the rehearsals for the benefit of Anders and myself. As, -however, there was no question of producing this work even at one of -the celebrated Conservatoire concerts, I saw clearly that the old -gentleman was only moved by kindness and a desire to encourage me. It -could not lead to anything further, and I myself was convinced that -this extremely superficial work of my young days could only give the -orchestra a wrong impression of my talents. However, these rehearsals, -to my surprise, made such an unexpected impression on me in other ways -that they exercised a decisive influence in the crisis of my artistic -development. This was due to the fact that I listened repeatedly to -Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, which, by dint of untiring practice, -received such a marvellous interpretation at the hands of this -celebrated orchestra, that the picture I had had of it in my mind in -the enthusiastic days of my youth now stood before me almost tangibly -in brilliant colours, undimmed, as though it had never been effaced by -the Leipzig orchestra who had slaughtered it under Pohlenz's baton. -Where formerly I had only seen mystic constellations and weird shapes -without meaning, I now found, flowing from innumerable sources, a -stream of the most touching and heavenly melodies which delighted my -heart. - -The whole of that period of the deterioration of my musical tastes -which dated, practically speaking, from those selfsame confusing ideas -about Beethoven, and which had grown so much worse through my -acquaintance with that dreadful theatre--all these wrong views now sank -down as if into an abyss of shame and remorse. - -This inner change had been gradually prepared by many painful -experiences during the last few years. I owed the recovery of my old -vigour and spirits to the deep impression the rendering of the Ninth -Symphony had made on me when performed in a way I had never dreamed of. -This important event in my life can only be compared to the upheaval -caused within me when, as a youth of sixteen, I saw Schroder-Devrient -act in Fidelio. - -The direct result of this was my intense longing to compose something -that would give me a similar feeling of satisfaction, and this desire -grew in proportion to my anxiety about my unfortunate position in -Paris, which made me almost despair of success. - -In this mood I sketched an overture to Faust which, according to my -original scheme, was only to form the first part of a whole Faust -Symphony, as I had already got the 'Gretchen' idea in my head for the -second movement. This is the same composition that I rewrote in several -parts fifteen years later; I had forgotten all about it, and I owed its -reconstruction to the advice of Liszt, who gave me many valuable hints. -This composition has been performed many times under the title of eine -Faust-ouverture, and has met with great appreciation. At the time of -which I am speaking, I hoped that the Conservatoire orchestra would -have been willing to give the work a hearing, but I was told they -thought they had done enough for me, and hoped to be rid of me for some -time. - -Having failed everywhere, I now turned to Meyerbeer for more -introductions, especially to singers. I was very much surprised when, -in consequence of my request, Meyerbeer introduced me to a certain M. -Gouin, a post-office official, and Meyerbeer's sole agent in Paris, -whom he instructed to do his utmost for me. Meyerbeer specially wished -me to know M. Antenor Joly, director of the Theatre de la Renaissance, -the musical theatre already mentioned. M. Gouin, with almost suspicious -levity, promised me to produce my opera Liebesverbot, which now only -required translation. There was a question of having a few numbers of -my opera sung to the committee of the theatre at a special audience. -When I suggested that some of the singers of this very theatre should -undertake to sing three of the numbers which had been already -translated by Dumersan, I was refused on the plea that all these -artists were far too busy. But Gouin saw a way out of the difficulty; -on the authority of Maitre Meyerbeer, he won over to our cause several -singers who were under an obligation to Meyerbeer: Mme. Dorus-Gras, a -real primadonna of the Grand Opera, Mme. Widmann and M. Dupont (the two -last-named had previously refused to help me) now promised to sing for -me at this audience. - -This much, then, did I achieve in six months. It was now nearly Easter -of the year 1840. Encouraged by Gouin's negotiations, which seemed to -spell hope, I made up my mind to move from the obscure Quartier des -Innocents to a part of Paris nearer to the musical centre; and in this -I was encouraged by Lehrs' foolhardy advice. - -What this change meant to me, my readers will learn when they hear -under what circumstances we had dragged on our existence during our -stay in Paris. - -Although we were living in the cheapest possible way, dining at a very -small restaurant for a franc a head, it was impossible to prevent the -rest of our money from melting away. Our friend Moller had given us to -understand that we could ask him if we were in need, as he would put -aside for us the first money that came in from any successful business -transaction. There was no alternative but to apply to him for money; in -the meantime we pawned all the trinkets we possessed that were of any -value. As I was too shy to make inquiries about a pawnshop, I looked up -the French equivalent in the dictionary in order to be able to -recognise such a place when I saw it. In my little pocket dictionary I -could not find any other word than 'Lombard.' On looking at a map of -Paris I found, situated in the middle of an inextricable maze of -streets, a very small lane called Rue des Lombards. Thither I wended my -way, but my expedition was fruitless. Often, on reading by the light of -the transparent lanterns the inscription 'Mont de Piete,' I became very -curious to know its meaning, and on consulting my advisory board at -home about this 'Mount of Piety,' [Footnote: This is the correct -translation of the words Berg der Frommigkeit used in the -original.--Editor.] I was told, to my great delight, that it was -precisely there that I should find salvation. To this 'Mont de Piete' -we now carried all we possessed in the way of silver, namely, our -wedding presents. After that followed my wife's trinkets and the rest -of her former theatrical wardrobe, amongst which was a beautiful -silver-embroidered blue dress with a court train, once the property of -the Duchess of Dessau. Still we heard nothing from our friend Moller, -and we were obliged to wait on from day to day for the sorely needed -help from Konigsberg, and at last, one dark day, we pledged our wedding -rings. When all hope of assistance seemed vain, I heard that the -pawn-tickets themselves were of some value, as they could be sold to -buyers, who thereby acquired the right to redeem the pawned articles. I -had to resort even to this, and thus the blue court-dress, for -instance, was lost for ever. Moller never wrote again. When later on he -called on me at the time of my conductorship in Dresden, he admitted -that he had been embittered against me owing to humiliating and -derogatory remarks we were said to have made about him after we parted, -and had resolved not to have anything further to do with us. We were -certain of our innocence in the matter, and very grieved at having, -through pure slander, lost the chance of such assistance in our great -need. - -At the beginning of our pecuniary difficulties we sustained a loss -which we looked upon as providential, in spite of the grief it caused -us. This was our beautiful dog, which we had managed to bring across to -Paris with endless difficulty. As he was a very valuable animal, and -attracted much attention, he had probably been stolen. In spite of the -terrible state of the traffic in Paris, he had always found his way -home in the same clever manner in which he had mastered the -difficulties of the London streets. Quite at the beginning of our stay -in Paris he had often gone off by himself to the gardens of the Palais -Royal, where he used to meet many of his friends, and had returned safe -and sound after a brilliant exhibition of swimming and retrieving -before an audience of gutter children. At the Quai du Pont-neuf he -generally begged us to let him bathe; there he used to draw a large -crowd of spectators round him, who were so loud in their enthusiasm -about the way in which he dived for and brought to land various objects -of clothing, tools, etc., that the police begged us to put an end to -the obstruction. One morning I let him out for a little run as usual; -he never returned, and in spite of our most strenuous efforts to -recover him, no trace of him was to be found. This loss seemed to many -of our friends a piece of luck, for they could not understand how it -was possible for us to feed such a huge animal when we ourselves had -not enough to eat. About this time, the second month of our stay in -Paris, my sister Louisa came over from Leipzig to join her husband, -Friedrich Brockhaus, in Paris, where he had been waiting for her for -some time. They intended to go to Italy together, and Louisa made use -of this opportunity to buy all kinds of expensive things in Paris. I -did not expect them to feel any pity for us on account of our foolish -removal to Paris, and its attendant miseries, or that they should -consider themselves bound to help us in any way; but although we did -not try to conceal our position, we derived no benefit from the visit -of our rich relations. Minna was even kind enough to help my sister -with her luxurious shopping, and we were very anxious not to make them -think we wanted to rouse their pity. In return my sister introduced me -to an extraordinary friend of hers, who was destined to take a great -interest in me. This was the young painter, Ernst Kietz, from Dresden; -he was an exceptionally kind-hearted and unaffected young man, whose -talent for portrait painting (in a sort of coloured pastel style) had -made him such a favourite in his own town, that he had been induced by -his financial successes to come to Paris for a time to finish his art -studies. He had now been working in Delaroche's studio for about a -year. He had a curious and almost childlike disposition, and his lack -of all serious education, combined with a certain weakness of -character, had made him choose a career in which he was destined, in -spite of all his talent, to fail hopelessly. I had every opportunity of -recognising this, as I saw a great deal of him. At the time, however, -the simple-hearted devotion and kindness of this young man were very -welcome both to myself and my wife, who often felt lonely, and his -friendship was a real source of help in our darkest hours of adversity. -He became almost a member of the family, and joined our home circle -every night, providing a strange contrast to nervous old Anders and the -grave-faced Lehrs. His good-nature and his quaint remarks soon made him -indispensable to us; he amused us tremendously with his French, into -which he would launch with the greatest confidence, although he could -not put together two consecutive sentences properly, in spite of having -lived in Paris for twenty years. With Delaroche he studied -oil-painting, and had obviously considerable talent in this direction, -although it was the very rock on which he stranded. The mixing of the -colours on his palette, and especially the cleaning of his brushes, -took up so much of his time that he rarely came to the actual painting. -As the days were very short in midwinter, he never had time to do any -work after he had finished washing his palette and brushes, and, as far -as I can remember, he never completed a single portrait. Strangers to -whom he had been introduced, and who had given him orders to paint -their portraits, were obliged to leave Paris without seeing them even -half done, and at last he even complained because some of his sitters -died before their portraits were completed. His landlord, to whom he -was always in debt for rent, was the only creature who succeeded in -getting a portrait of his ugly person from the painter, and, as far as -I know, this is the only finished portrait in existence by Kietz. On -the other hand, he was very clever at making little sketches of any -subject suggested by our conversation during the evening, and in these -he displayed both originality and delicacy of execution. During the -winter of that year he completed a good pencil portrait of me, which he -touched up two years afterwards when he knew me more intimately, -finishing it off as it now stands. It pleased him to sketch me in the -attitude I often assumed during our evening chats when I was in a -cheerful mood. No evening ever passed during which I did not succeed in -shaking off the depression caused by my vain endeavours, and by the -many worries I had gone through during the day, and in regaining my -natural cheerfulness, and Kietz was anxious to represent me to the -world as a man who, in spite of the hard times he had to face, had -confidence in his success, and rose smiling above the troubles of life. -Before the end of the year 1839, my youngest sister Cecilia also -arrived in Paris with her husband, Edward Avenarius. It was only -natural that she should feel embarrassed at the idea of meeting us in -Paris in our extremely straitened circumstances, especially as her -husband was not very well off. Consequently, instead of calling on them -frequently, we preferred waiting until they came to see us, which, by -the way, took them a long time. On the other hand, the renewal of our -acquaintance with Heinrich Laube, who came over to Paris at the -beginning of 1840 with his young wife, Iduna (nee Budaus), was very -cheering. She was the widow of a wealthy Leipzig doctor, and Laube had -married her under very extraordinary circumstances, since we last saw -him in Berlin; they intended to enjoy themselves for a few months in -Paris. During the long period of his detention, while awaiting his -trial, this young lady had been so touched by his misfortunes that -without knowing much of him, she had shown great sympathy and interest -in his case. Laube's sentence was pronounced soon after I left Berlin; -it was unexpectedly light, consisting of only one year's imprisonment -in the town gaol. He was allowed to undergo this term in the prison at -Muskau in Silesia, where he had the advantage of being near his friend, -Prince Puckler, who in his official capacity, and on account of his -influence with the governor of the prison, was permitted to afford the -prisoner even the consolation of personal intercourse. - -The young widow resolved to marry him at the beginning of his term of -imprisonment, so that she might be near him at Muskau with her loving -assistance. To see my old friend under such favourable conditions was -in itself a pleasure to me; I also experienced the liveliest -satisfaction at finding there was no change in his former sympathetic -attitude. We met frequently; our wives also became friends, and Laube -was the first to approve in his kindly humorous way of our folly in -moving to Paris. - -In his house I made the acquaintance of Heinrich Heine, and both of -them joked good-humouredly over my extraordinary position, making even -me laugh. Laube felt himself compelled to talk seriously to me about my -expectations of succeeding in Paris, as he saw that I treated my -situation, based on such trivial hopes, with a humour that charmed him -even against his better judgment. He tried to think how he could help -me without prejudicing my future. With this object he wanted me to make -a more or less plausible sketch of my future plans, so that on his -approaching visit to our native land he might procure some help for me. -I happened just at that time to have come to an exceedingly promising -understanding with the management of the Theatre de la Renaissance. I -thus seemed to have obtained a footing, and I thought it safe to -assert, that if I were guaranteed the means of livelihood for six -months, I could not fail within that period to accomplish something. -Laube promised to make this provision, and kept his word. He induced -one of his wealthy friends in Leipzig, and, following this example, my -well-to-do relations, to provide me for six months with the necessary -resources, to be paid in monthly instalments through Avenarius. - -We therefore decided, as I have said, to leave our furnished apartments -and take a flat for ourselves in the Rue du Helder. My prudent, careful -wife had suffered greatly on account of the careless and uncertain -manner in which I had hitherto controlled our meagre resources, and in -now undertaking the responsibility, she explained that she understood -how to keep house more cheaply than we could do by living in furnished -rooms and restaurants. Success justified the step; the serious part of -the question lay in the fact that we had to start housekeeping without -any furniture of our own, and everything necessary for domestic -purposes had to be procured, though we had not the wherewithal to get -it. In this matter Lehrs, who was well versed in the peculiarities of -Parisian life, was able to advise us. In his opinion the only -compensation for the experiences we had undergone hitherto would be a -success equivalent to my daring. As I did not possess the resources to -allow of long years of patient waiting for success in Paris, I must -either count on extraordinary luck or renounce all my hopes forthwith. -The longed-for success must come within a year, or I should be ruined. -Therefore I must dare all, as befitted my name, for in my case he was -not inclined to derive 'Wagner' [Footnote: 'Wagner' in German means one -who dares, also a Wagoner; and 'Fuhrwerk' means a carriage.--Editor.] -from Fuhrwerk. I was to pay my rent, twelve hundred francs, in -quarterly instalments; for the furniture and fittings, he recommended -me, through his landlady, to a carpenter who provided everything that -was necessary for what seemed to be a reasonable sum, also to be paid -by instalments, all of which appeared very simple. Lehrs maintained -that I should do no good in Paris unless I showed the world that I had -confidence in myself. My trial audience was impending; I felt sure of -the Theatre de la Renaissance, and Dumersan was keenly anxious to make -a complete translation of my Liebesverbot into French. So we decided to -run the risk. On 15th April, to the astonishment of the concierge of -the house in the Rue du Helder, we moved with an exceedingly small -amount of luggage into our comfortable new apartments. - -The very first visit I received in the rooms I had taken with such high -hopes was from Anders, who came with the tidings that the Theatre de la -Renaissance had just gone bankrupt, and was closed. This news, which -came on me like a thunder-clap, seemed to portend more than an ordinary -stroke of bad luck; it revealed to me like a flash of lightning the -absolute emptiness of my prospects. My friends openly expressed the -opinion that Meyerbeer, in sending me from the Grand Opera to this -theatre, probably knew the whole of the circumstances. I did not pursue -the line of thought to which this supposition might lead, as I felt -cause enough for bitterness when I wondered what I should do with the -rooms in which I was so nicely installed. - -As my singers had now practised the portions of Liebesverbot intended -for the trial audience, I was anxious at least to have them performed -before some persons of influence. M. Edouard Monnaie, who had been -appointed temporary director of the Grand Opera after Duponchel's -retirement, was the less disposed to refuse as the singers who were to -take part belonged to the institution over which he presided; moreover, -there was no obligation attached to his presence at the audience. I -also took the trouble to call on Scribe to invite him to attend, and he -accepted with the kindest alacrity. At last my three pieces were -performed before these two gentlemen in the green room of the Grand -Opera, and I played the piano accompaniment. They pronounced the music -charming, and Scribe expressed his willingness to arrange the libretto -for me as soon as the managers of the opera had decided on accepting -the piece; all that M. Monnaie had to reply to this offer was that it -was impossible for them to do so at present. I did not fail to realise -that these were only polite expressions; but at all events I thought it -very nice of them, and particularly condescending of Scribe to have got -so far as to think me deserving of a little politeness. - -But in my heart of hearts I felt really ashamed of having gone back -again seriously to that superficial early work from which I had taken -these three pieces. Of course I had only done this because I thought I -should win success more rapidly in Paris by adapting myself to its -frivolous taste. My aversion from this kind of taste, which had been -long growing, coincided with my abandonment of all hopes of success in -Paris. I was placed in an exceedingly melancholy situation by the fact -that my circumstances had so shaped themselves that I dared not express -this important change in my feelings to any one, especially to my poor -wife. But if I continued to make the best of a bad bargain, I had no -longer any illusions as to the possibility of success in Paris. Face to -face with unheard-of misery, I shuddered at the smiling aspect which -Paris presented in the bright sunshine of May. It was the beginning of -the slack season for any sort of artistic enterprise in Paris, and from -every door at which I knocked with feigned hope I was turned away with -the wretchedly monotonous phrase, Monsieur est a la campagne. - -On our long walks, when we felt ourselves absolute strangers in the -midst of the gay throng, I used to romance to my wife about the South -American Free States, far away from all this sinister life, where opera -and music were unknown, and the foundations of a sensible livelihood -could easily be secured by industry. I told Minna, who was quite in the -dark as to my meaning, of a book I had just read, Zschokke's Die -Grundung von Maryland, in which I found a very seductive account of the -sensation of relief experienced by the European settlers after their -former sufferings and persecutions. She, being of a more practical turn -of mind, used to point out to me the necessity of procuring means for -our continued existence in Paris, for which she had thought out all -sorts of economies. - -I, for my part, was sketching out the plan of the poem of my Fliegender -Hollander, which I kept steadily before me as a possible means of -making a debut in Paris. I put together the material for a single act, -influenced by the consideration that I could in this way confine it to -the simple dramatic developments between the principal characters, -without troubling about the tiresome operatic accessories. From a -practical point of view, I thought I could rely on a better prospect -for the acceptance of my proposed work if it were cast in the form of a -one-act opera, such as was frequently given as a curtain raiser before -a ballet at the Grand Opera. I wrote about it to Meyerbeer in Berlin, -asking for his help. I also resumed the composition of Rienzi, to the -completion of which I was now giving my constant attention. - -In the meantime our position became more and more gloomy; I was soon -compelled to draw in advance on the subsidies obtained by Laube, but in -so doing I gradually alienated the sympathy of my brother-in-law -Avenarius, to whom our stay in Paris was incomprehensible. - -One morning, when we had been anxiously consulting as to the -possibility of raising our first quarter's rent, a carrier appeared -with a parcel addressed to me from London; I thought it was an -intervention of Providence, and broke open the seal. At the same moment -a receipt-book was thrust into my face for signature, in which I at -once saw that I had to pay seven francs for carriage. I recognised, -moreover, that the parcel contained my overture Rule Britannia, -returned to me from the London Philharmonic Society. In my fury I told -the bearer that I would not take in the parcel, whereupon he -remonstrated in the liveliest fashion, as I had already opened it. It -was no use; I did not possess seven francs, and I told him he should -have presented the bill for the carriage before I had opened the -parcel. So I made him return the only copy of my overture to Messrs. -Laffitte and Gaillard's firm, to do what they liked with it, and I -never cared to inquire what became of that manuscript. - -Suddenly Kietz devised a way out of these troubles. He had been -commissioned by an old lady of Leipzig, called Fraulein Leplay, a rich -and very miserly old maid, to find a cheap lodging in Paris for her and -for his stepmother, with whom she intended to travel. As our apartment, -though not spacious, was larger than we actually needed, and had very -quickly become a troublesome burden to us, we did not hesitate for a -moment to let the larger portion of it to her for the time of her stay -in Paris, which was to last about two months. In addition, my wife -provided the guests with breakfast, as though they were in furnished -apartments, and took a great pride in looking at the few pence she -earned in this way. Although we found this amazing example of -old-maidishness trying enough, the arrangement we had made helped us in -some degree to tide over the anxious time, and I was able, in spite of -this disorganisation of our household arrangements, to continue working -in comparative peace at my Rienzi. - -This became more difficult after Fraulein Leplay's departure, when we -let one of our rooms to a German commercial traveller, who in his -leisure hours zealously played the flute. His name was Brix; he was a -modest, decent fellow, and had been recommended to us by Pecht the -painter, whose acquaintance we had recently made. He had been -introduced to us by Kietz, who studied with him in Delaroche's studio. -He was the very antithesis of Kietz in every way, and obviously endowed -with less talent, yet he grappled with the task of acquiring the art of -oil-painting in the shortest possible time under difficult -circumstances with an industry and earnestness quite out of the common. -He was, moreover, well educated, and eagerly assimilated information, -and was very straightforward, earnest, and trustworthy. Without -attaining to the same degree of intimacy with us as our three older -friends, he was, nevertheless, one of the few who continued to stand by -us in our troubles, and habitually spent nearly every evening in our -company. - -One day I received a fresh surprising proof of Laube's continued -solicitude on our behalf. The secretary of a certain Count Kuscelew -called on us, and after some inquiry into our affairs, the state of -which he had heard from Laube at Karlsbad, informed us in a brief and -friendly way that his patron wished to be of use to us, and with that -object in view desired to make my acquaintance. In fact, he proposed to -engage a small light opera company in Paris, which was to follow him to -his Russian estates. He was therefore looking for a musical director of -sufficient experience to assist in recruiting the members in Paris. I -gladly went to the hotel where the count was staying, and there found -an elderly gentleman of frank and agreeable bearing, who willingly -listened to my little French compositions. Being a shrewd reader of -human nature, he saw at a glance that I was not the man for him, and -though he showed me the most polite attention, he went no further into -the opera scheme. But that very day he sent me, accompanied by a -friendly note, ten golden napoleons, in payment for my services. What -these services were I did not know. I thereupon wrote to him, and asked -for more precise details of his wishes, and begged him to commission a -composition, the fee for which I presumed he had sent in advance. As I -received no reply, I made more than one effort to approach him again, -but in vain. From other sources I afterwards learned that the only kind -of opera Count Kuscelew recognised was Adam's. As for the operatic -company to be engaged to suit his taste, what he really wanted was more -a small harem than a company of artists. - -So far I had not been able to arrange anything with the music publisher -Schlesinger. It was impossible to persuade him to publish my little -French songs. In order to do something, however, towards making myself -known in this direction, I decided to have my Two Grenadiers engraved -by him at my own expense. Kietz was to lithograph a magnificent -title-page for it. Schlesinger ended by charging me fifty francs for -the cost of production. The story of this publication is curious from -beginning to end; the work bore Schlesinger's name, and as I had -defrayed all expenses, the proceeds were, of course, to be placed to my -account. I had afterwards to take the publisher's word for it that not -a single copy had been sold. Subsequently, when I had made a quick -reputation for myself in Dresden through my Rienzi, Schott the -publisher in Mainz, who dealt almost exclusively in works translated -from the French, thought it advisable to bring out a German edition of -the Two Grenadiers. Below the text of the French translation he had the -German original by Heine printed; but as the French poem was a very -free paraphrase, in quite a different metre to the original, Heine's -words fitted my composition so badly that I was furious at the insult -to my work, and thought it necessary to protest against Schott's -publication as an entirely unauthorised reprint. Schott then threatened -me with an action for libel, as he said that, according to his -agreement, his edition was not a reprint (Nachdruck), but a -reimpression (Abdruck). In order to be spared further annoyance, I was -induced to send him an apology in deference to the distinction he had -drawn, which I did not understand. - -In 1848, when I made inquiries of Schlesinger's successor in Paris (M. -Brandus) as to the fate of my little work, I learned from him that a -new edition had been published, but he declined to entertain any -question of rights on my part. Since I did not care to buy a copy with -my own money, I have to this day had to do without my own property. To -what extent, in later years, others profited by similar transactions -relating to the publication of my works, will appear in due course. - -For the moment the point was to compensate Schlesinger for the fifty -francs agreed upon, and he proposed that I should do this by writing -articles for his Gazette Musicale. - -As I was not expert enough in the French language for literary -purposes, my article had to be translated and half the fee had to go to -the translator. However, I consoled myself by thinking I should still -receive sixty francs per sheet for the work. I was soon to learn, when -I presented myself to the angry publisher for payment, what was meant -by a sheet. It was measured by an abominable iron instrument, on which -the lines of the columns were marked off with figures; this was applied -to the article, and after careful subtraction of the spaces left for -the title and signature, the lines were added up. After this process -had been gone through, it appeared that what I had taken for a sheet -was only half a sheet. - -So far so good. I began to write articles for Schlesinger's wonderful -paper. The first was a long essay, De la musique allemande, in which I -expressed with the enthusiastic exaggeration characteristic of me at -that time my appreciation of the sincerity and earnestness of German -music. This article led my friend Anders to remark that the state of -affairs in Germany must, indeed, be splendid if the conditions were -really as I described. I enjoyed what was to me the surprising -satisfaction of seeing this article subsequently reproduced in Italian, -in a Milan musical journal, where, to my amusement, I saw myself -described as Dottissimo Musico Tedesco, a mistake which nowadays would -be impossible. My essay attracted favourable comment, and Schlesinger -asked me to write an article in praise of the arrangement made by the -Russian General Lwoff of Pergolesi's Stabat Mater, which I did as -superficially as possible. On my own impulse I then wrote an essay in a -still more amiable vein called Du metier du virtuose et de -l'independance de la composition. - -In the meantime I was surprised in the middle of the summer by the -arrival of Meyerbeer, who happened to come to Paris for a fortnight. He -was very sympathetic and obliging. When I told him my idea of writing a -one-act opera as a curtain raiser, and asked him to give me an -introduction to M. Leon Pillet, the recently appointed manager of the -Grand Opera, he at once took me to see him, and presented me to him. -But alas, I had the unpleasant surprise of learning from the serious -conversation which took place between those two gentlemen as to my -future, that Meyerbeer thought I had better decide to compose an act -for the ballet in collaboration with another musician. Of course I -could not entertain such an idea for a moment. I succeeded, however, in -handing over to M. Pillet my brief sketch of the subject of the Flying -Dutchman.. - -Things had reached this point when Meyerbeer again left Paris, this -time for a longer period of absence. - -As I did not hear from M. Pillet for quite a long time, I now began to -work diligently at my composition of Rienzi, though, to my great -distress, I had often to interrupt this task in order to undertake -certain pot-boiling hack-work for Schlesinger. - -As my contributions to the Gazette Musicale proved so unremunerative, -Schlesinger one day ordered me to work out a method for the Cornet a -pistons. When I told him about my embarrassment, in not knowing how to -deal with the subject, he replied by sending me five different -published 'Methods' for the Cornet a pistons, at that time the -favourite amateur instrument among the younger male population of -Paris. I had merely to devise a new sixth method out of these five, as -all Schlesinger wanted was to publish an edition of his own. I was -racking my brains how to start, when Schlesinger, who had just obtained -a new complete method, released me from the onerous task. I was, -however, told to write fourteen 'Suites' for the Cornet a pistons--that -is to say, airs out of operas arranged for this instrument. To furnish -me with material for this work, Schlesinger sent me no less than sixty -complete operas arranged for the piano. I looked them through for -suitable airs for my 'Suites,' marked the pages in the volumes with -paper strips, and arranged them into a curious-looking structure round -my work-table, so that I might have the greatest possible variety of -the melodious material within my reach. When I was in the midst of this -work, however, to my great relief and to my poor wife's consternation, -Schlesinger told me that M. Schlitz, the first cornet player in Paris, -who had looked my 'Etudes' through, preparatory to their being -engraved, had declared that I knew absolutely nothing about the -instrument, and had generally adopted keys that were too high, which -Parisians would never be able to use. The part of the work I had -already done was, however, accepted, Schlitz having agreed to correct -it, but on condition that I should share my fee with him. The remainder -of the work was then taken off my hands, and the sixty pianoforte -arrangements went back to the curious shop in the Rue Richelieu. - -So my exchequer was again in a sorry plight. The distressing poverty of -my home grew more apparent every day, and yet I was now free to give a -last touch to Rienzi, and by the 19th of November I had completed this -most voluminous of all my operas. I had decided, some time previously, -to offer the first production of this work to the Court Theatre at -Dresden, so that, in the event of its being a success, I might thus -resume my connection with Germany. I had decided upon Dresden as I knew -that there I should have in Tichatschek the most suitable tenor for the -leading part. I also reckoned on my acquaintance with -Schroder-Devrient, who had always been nice to me and who, though her -efforts were ineffectual, had been at great pains, out of regard for my -family, to get my Feen introduced at the Court Theatre, Dresden. In the -secretary of the theatre, Hofrat Winkler (known as Theodor Hell), I -also had an old friend of my family, besides which I had been -introduced to the conductor, Reissiger, with whom I and my friend Apel -had spent a pleasant evening on the occasion of our excursion to -Bohemia in earlier days. To all these people I now addressed most -respectful and eloquent appeals, wrote out an official note to the -director, Herr von Luttichau, as well as a formal petition to the King -of Saxony, and had everything ready to send off. - -Meantime, I had not omitted to indicate the exact tempi in my opera by -means of a metronome. As I did not possess such a thing, I had to -borrow one, and one morning I went out to restore the instrument to its -owner, carrying it under my thin overcoat. The day when this occurred -was one of the strangest in my life, as it showed in a really horrible -way the whole misery of my position at that time. In addition to the -fact that I did not know where to look for the few francs wherewith -Minna was to provide for our scanty household requirements, some of the -bills which, in accordance with the custom in Paris in those days, I -had signed for the purpose of fitting up our apartments, had fallen -due. Hoping to get help from one source or another, I first tried to -get those bills prolonged by the holders. As such documents pass -through many hands, I had to call on all the holders across the length -and breadth of the city. That day I was to propitiate a cheese-monger -who occupied a fifth-floor apartment in the Cite. I also intended to -ask for help from Heinrich, the brother of my brother-in-law, -Brockhaus, as he was then in Paris; and I was going to call at -Schlesinger's to raise the money to pay for the despatch of my score -that day by the usual mail service. - -As I had also to deliver the metronome, I left Minna early in the -morning after a sad good-bye. She knew from experience that as I was on -a money-raising expedition, she would not see me back till late at -night. The streets were enveloped in a dense fog, and the first thing I -recognised on leaving the house was my dog Robber, who had been stolen -from us a year before. At first I thought it was a ghost, but I called -out to him sharply in a shrill voice. The animal seemed to recognise -me, and approached me cautiously, but my sudden movement towards him -with outstretched arms seemed only to revive memories of the few -chastisements I had foolishly inflicted on him during the latter part -of our association, and this memory prevailed over all others. He drew -timidly away from me and, as I followed him with some eagerness, he -ran, only to accelerate his speed when he found he was being pursued. I -became more and more convinced that he had recognised me, because he -always looked back anxiously when he reached a corner; but seeing that -I was hunting him like a maniac, he started off again each time with -renewed energy. Thus I followed him through a labyrinth of streets, -hardly distinguishable in the thick mist, until I eventually lost sight -of him altogether, never to see him again. It was near the church of -St. Roch, and I, wet with perspiration and quite breathless, was still -bearing the metronome. For a while I stood motionless, glaring into the -mist, and wondered what the ghostly reappearance of the companion of my -travelling adventures on this day might portend! The fact that he had -fled from his old master with the terror of a wild beast filled my -heart with a strange bitterness and seemed to me a horrible omen. Sadly -shaken, I set out again, with trembling limbs, upon my weary errand. - -Heinrich Brockhaus told me he could not help me, and I left him. I was -sorely ashamed, but made a strong effort to conceal the painfulness of -my situation. My other undertakings turned out equally hopeless, and -after having been kept waiting for hours at Schlesinger's, listening to -my employer's very trivial conversations with his -callers--conversations which he seemed purposely to protract--I -reappeared under the windows of my home long after dark, utterly -unsuccessful. I saw Minna looking anxiously from one of the windows. -Half expecting my misfortune she had, in the meantime, succeeded in -borrowing a small sum of our lodger and boarder, Brix, the -flute-player, whom we tolerated patiently, though at some inconvenience -to ourselves, as he was a good-natured fellow. So she was able to offer -me at least a comfortable meal. Further help was to come to me -subsequently, though at the cost of great sacrifices on my part, owing -to the success of one of Donizetti's operas, La Favorita, a very poor -work of the Italian maestro's, but welcomed with great enthusiasm by -the Parisian public, already so much degenerated. This opera, the -success of which was due mainly to two lively little songs, had been -acquired by Schlesinger, who had lost heavily over Halevy's last operas. - -Taking advantage of my helpless situation, of which he was well aware, -he rushed into our rooms one morning, beaming all over with amusing -good-humour, called for pen and ink, and began to work out a -calculation of the enormous fees which he had arranged for me! He put -down: 'La Favorita, complete arrangement for pianoforte, arrangement -without words, for solo; ditto, for duet; complete arrangement for -quartette; the same for two violins; ditto for a Cornet a piston. Total -fee, frcs. 1100. Immediate advance in cash, frcs. 500.' I could see at -a glance what an enormous amount of trouble this work would involve, -but I did not hesitate a moment to undertake it. - -Curiously enough, when I brought home these five hundred francs in hard -shining five-franc pieces, and piled them up on the table for our -edification, my sister Cecilia Avenarius happened to drop in to see us. -The sight of this abundance of wealth seemed to produce a good effect -on her, as she had hitherto been rather chary of coming to see us; and -after that we used to see rather more of her, and were often invited to -dine with them on Sundays. But I no longer cared for any amusements. I -was so deeply impressed by my past experiences that I made up my mind -to work through this humiliating, albeit profitable task, with untiring -energy, as though it were a penance imposed on me for the expiation of -my bygone sins. To save fuel, we limited ourselves to the use of the -bedroom, making it serve as a drawing-room, dining-room, and study, as -well as dormitory. It was only a step from my bed to my work-table; to -be seated at the dining-table, all I had to do was to turn my chair -round, and I left my seat altogether only late at night when I wanted -to go to bed again. Every fourth day I allowed myself a short -constitutional. This penitential process lasted almost all through the -winter, and sowed the seeds of those gastric disorders which were to be -more or less of a trouble to me for the rest of my life. - -In return for the minute and almost interminable work of correcting the -score of Donizetti's opera, I managed to get three hundred francs from -Schlesinger, as he could not get any one else to do it. Besides this, I -had to find the time to copy out the orchestra parts of my overture to -Faust, which I was still hoping to hear at the Conservatoire; and by -the way of counteracting the depression produced by this humiliating -occupation, I wrote a short story, Eine Pilgerfahrt zu Beethoven (A -Pilgrimage to Beethoven), which appeared in the Gazette Musicale, under -the title Une Visite a Beethoven. Schlesinger told me candidly that -this little work had created quite a sensation, and had been received -with very marked approval; and, indeed, it was actually reproduced, -either complete or in parts, in a good many fireside journals. - -He persuaded me to write some more of the same kind; and in a sequel -entitled Das Ende eines Musikers in Paris (Un Musicien etranger a -Paris) I avenged myself for all the misfortunes I had had to endure. -Schlesinger was not quite so pleased with this as with my first effort, -but it received touching signs of approval from his poor assistant; -while Heinrich Heine praised it by saying that 'Hoffmann would have -been incapable of writing such a thing.' Even Berlioz was touched by -it, and spoke of the story very favourably in one of his articles in -the Journal des Debats. He also gave me signs of his sympathy, though -only during a conversation, after the appearance of another of my -musical articles entitled Ueber die Ouverture (Concerning Overtures), -mainly because I had illustrated my principle by pointing to Gluck's -overture to Iphigenia in Aulis as a model for compositions of this -class. - -Encouraged by these signs of sympathy, I felt anxious to become more -intimately acquainted with Berlioz. I had been introduced to him some -time previously at Schlesinger's office, where we used to meet -occasionally. I had presented him with a copy of my Two Grenadiers, but -could, however, never learn any more from him concerning what he really -thought of it than the fact that as he could only strum a little on the -guitar, he was unable to play the music of my composition to himself on -the piano. During the previous winter I had often heard his grand -instrumental pieces played under his own direction, and had been most -favourably impressed by them. During that winter (1839-40) he conducted -three performances of his new symphony, Romeo and Juliet, at one of -which I was present. - -All this, to be sure, was quite a new world to me, and I was desirous -of gaining some unprejudiced knowledge of it. At first the grandeur and -masterly execution of the orchestral part almost overwhelmed me. It was -beyond anything I could have conceived. The fantastic daring, the sharp -precision with which the boldest combinations--almost tangible in their -clearness--impressed me, drove back my own ideas of the poetry of music -with brutal violence into the very depths of my soul. I was simply all -ears for things of which till then I had never dreamt, and which I felt -I must try to realise. True, I found a great deal that was empty and -shallow in his Romeo and Juliet, a work that lost much by its length -and form of combination; and this was the more painful to me seeing -that, on the other hand, I felt overpowered by many really bewitching -passages which quite overcame any objections on my part. - -During the same winter Berlioz produced his Sinfonie Fantastique and -his Harald ('Harold en Italie'). I was also much impressed by these -works; the musical genre-pictures woven into the first-named symphony -were particularly pleasing, while Harald delighted me in almost every -respect.. - -It was, however, the latest work of this wonderful master, his -Trauer-Symphonie fur die Opfer der Juli-Revolution (Grande Symphonie -Funebre et Triomphale), most skilfully composed for massed military -bands during the summer of 1840 for the anniversary of the obsequies of -the July heroes, and conducted by him under the column of the Place de -la Bastille, which had at last thoroughly convinced me of the greatness -and enterprise of this incomparable artist. But while admiring this -genius, absolutely unique in his methods, I could never quite shake off -a certain peculiar feeling of anxiety. His works left me with a -sensation as of something strange, something with which I felt I should -never be able to be familiar, and I was often puzzled at the strange -fact that, though ravished by his compositions, I was at the same time -repelled and even wearied by them. It was only much later that I -succeeded in clearly grasping and solving this problem, which for years -exercised such a painful spell over me. - -It is a fact that at that time I felt almost like a little school-boy -by the side of Berlioz. Consequently I was really embarrassed when -Schlesinger, determined to make good use of the success of my short -story, told me he was anxious to produce some of my orchestral -compositions at a concert arranged by the editor of the Gazette -Musicale. I realised that none of my available works would in any way -be suitable for such an occasion. I was not quite confident as to my -Faust Overture because of its zephyr-like ending, which I presumed -could only be appreciated by an audience already familiar with my -methods. When, moreover, I learned that I should have only a -second-rate orchestra--the Valentino from the Casino, Rue St. -Honore--and, moreover, that there could be only one rehearsal, my only -alternative lay between declining altogether, or making another trial -with my Columbus Overture, the work composed in my early days at -Magdeburg. I adopted the latter course. - -When I went to fetch the score of this composition from Ilabeneck, who -had it stored among the archives of the Conservatoire, he warned me -somewhat dryly, though not without kindness, of the danger of -presenting this work to the Parisian public, as, to use his own words, -it was too 'vague.' One great objection was the difficulty of finding -capable musicians for the six cornets required, as the music for this -instrument, so skilfully played in Germany, could hardly, if ever, be -satisfactorily executed in Paris. Herr Schlitz, the corrector of my -'Suites' for Cornet a piston, offered his assistance. I was compelled -to reduce my six cornets to four, and he told me that only two of these -could be relied on. - -As a matter of fact, the attempts made at the rehearsal to produce -those very passages on which the effect of my work chiefly depended -were very discouraging. Not once were the soft high notes played but -they were flat or altogether wrong. In addition to this, as I was not -going to be allowed to conduct the work myself, I had to rely upon a -conductor who, as I was well aware, had fully convinced himself that my -composition was the most utter rubbish--an opinion that seemed to be -shared by the whole orchestra. Berlioz, who was present at the -rehearsal, remained silent throughout. He gave me no encouragement, -though he did not dissuade me. He merely said afterwards, with a weary -smile, 'that it was very difficult to get on in Paris.' - -On the night of the performance (4th February 1841) the audience, which -was largely composed of subscribers to the Gazette Musicale, and to -whom, therefore, my literary successes were not unknown, seemed rather -favourably disposed towards me. I was told later on that my overture, -however wearisome it had been, would certainly have been applauded if -those unfortunate cornet players, by continually failing to produce the -effective passages, had not excited the public almost to the point of -hostility; for Parisians, for the most part, care only for the skilful -parts of performances, as, for instance, for the faultless production -of difficult tones. I was clearly conscious of my complete failure. -After this misfortune Paris no longer existed for me, and all I had to -do was to go back to my miserable bedroom and resume my work of -arranging Donizetti's operas. - -So great was my renunciation of the world that, like a penitent, I no -longer shaved, and to my wife's annoyance, for the first and only time -in my life allowed my beard to grow quite long. I tried to bear -everything patiently, and the only thing that threatened really to -drive me to despair was a pianist in the room adjoining ours who during -the livelong day practised Liszt's fantasy on Lucia di Lammermoor. I -had to put a stop to this torture, so, to give him an idea of what he -made us endure, one day I moved our own piano, which was terribly out -of tune, close up to the party wall. Then Brix with his piccolo-flute -played the piano-and-violin (or flute) arrangement of the Favorita -Overture I had just completed, while I accompanied him on the piano. -The effect on our neighbour, a young piano-teacher, must have been -appalling. The concierge told me the next day that the poor fellow was -leaving, and, after all, I felt rather sorry. - -The wife of our concierge had entered into a sort of arrangement with -us. At first we had occasionally availed ourselves of her services, -especially in the kitchen, also for brushing clothes, cleaning boots, -and so on; but even the slight outlay that this involved was eventually -too heavy for us, and after having dispensed with her services, Minna -had to suffer the humiliation of doing the whole work of the household, -even the most menial part of it, herself. As we did not like to mention -this to Brix, Minna was obliged, not only to do all the cooking and -washing up, but even to clean our lodger's boots as well. What we felt -most, however, was the thought of what the concierge and his wife would -think of us; but we were mistaken, for they only respected us the more, -though of course we could not avoid a little familiarity at times, Now -and then, therefore, the man would have a chat with me on politics. -When the Quadruple Alliance against France had been concluded, and the -situation under Thiers' ministry was regarded as very critical, my -concierge tried to reassure me one day by saying: 'Monsieur, il y a -quatre hommes en Europe qui s'appellent: le roi Louis Philippe, -l'empereur d'Autriche, l'empereur de Russie, le roi de Prusse; eh bien, -ces quatre sont des c...; et nous n'aurons pas la guerre.' - -Of an evening I very seldom lacked entertainment; but the few faithful -friends who came to see me had to put up with my going on scribbling -music till late in the night. Once they prepared a touching surprise -for me in the form of a little party which they arranged for New Year's -Eve (1840). Lehrs arrived at dusk, rang the bell, and brought a leg of -veal; Kietz brought some rum, sugar, and a lemon; Pecht supplied a -goose; and Anders two bottles of the champagne with which he had been -presented by a musical instrument-maker in return for a flattering -article he had written about his pianos. Bottles from that stock were -produced only on very great occasions. I soon threw the confounded -Favorita aside, therefore, and entered enthusiastically into the fun. - -We all had to assist in the preparations, to light the fire in the -salon, give a hand to my wife in the kitchen, and get what was wanted -from the grocer. The supper developed into a dithyrambic orgy. When the -champagne was drunk, and the punch began to produce its effects, I -delivered a fiery speech which so provoked the hilarity of the company -that it seemed as though it would never end. I became so excited that I -first mounted a chair, and then, by way of heightening the effect, at -last stood on the table, thence to preach the maddest gospel of the -contempt of life together with a eulogy on the South American Free -States. My charmed listeners eventually broke into such fits of sobs -and laughter, and were so overcome, that we had to give them all -shelter for the night--their condition making it impossible for them to -reach their own homes in safety. On New Year's Day (1841) I was again -busy with my Favorita. - -I remember another similar though far less boisterous feast, on the -occasion of a visit paid us by the famous violinist Vieux-temps, an old -schoolfellow of Kietz's. We had the great pleasure of hearing the young -virtuoso, who was then greatly feted in Paris, play to us charmingly -for a whole evening--a performance which lent my little salon an -unusual touch of 'fashion.' Kietz rewarded him for his kindness by -carrying him on his shoulders to his hotel close by. - -We were hard hit in the early part of this year by a mistake I made -owing to my ignorance of Paris customs. It seemed to us quite a matter -of course that we should wait until the proper quarter-day to give -notice to our landlady. So I called on the proprietress of the house, a -rich young widow living in one of her own houses in the Marias quarter. -She received me, but seemed much embarrassed, and said she would speak -to her agent about the matter, and eventually referred me to him. The -next day I was informed by letter that my notice would have been valid -had it been given two days earlier. By this omission I had rendered -myself liable, according to the agreement, for another year's rent. -Horrified by this news, I went to see the agent himself, and after -having been kept waiting for a long time--as a matter of fact they -would not let me in at all--I found an elderly gentleman, apparently -crippled by some very painful malady, lying motionless before me. I -frankly told him my position, and begged him most earnestly to release -me from my agreement, but I was merely told that the fault was mine, -and not his, that I had given notice a day too late, and consequently -that I must find the rent for the next year. My concierge, to whom, -with some emotion, I related the story of this occurrence, tried to -soothe me by saying: 'J'aurais pu vous dire cela, car voyez, monsieur, -cet homme ne vaut pas l'eau qu'il boit.' - -This entirely unforeseen misfortune destroyed our last hopes of getting -out of our disastrous position. We consoled ourselves for awhile with -the hope of finding another lodger, but the fates were once more -against us. Easter came, the new term began, and our prospects were as -hopeless as ever. At last our concierge recommended us to a family who -were willing to take the whole of our apartment, furniture included, -off our hands for a few months. We gladly accepted this offer; for, at -any rate, it ensured the payment of the rent for the ensuing quarter. -We thought if only we could get away from this unfortunate place we -should find some way of getting rid of it altogether. We therefore -decided to find a cheap summer residence for ourselves in the outskirts -of Paris. - -Meudon had been mentioned to us as an inexpensive summer resort, and we -selected an apartment in the avenue which joins Meudon to the -neighbouring village of Bellevue. We left full authority with our -concierge as to our rooms in Rue du Helder, and settled down in our new -temporary abode as well as we could. Old Brix, the good-natured -flutist, had to stay with us again, for, owing to the fact that his -usual receipts had been delayed, he would have been in great straits -had we refused to give him shelter. The removal of our scanty -possessions took place on the 29th of April, and was, after all, no -more than a flight from the impossible into the unknown, for how we -were going to live during the following summer we had not the faintest -idea. Schlesinger had no work for me, and no other sources were -available. - -The only help we could hope for seemed to lie in journalistic work -which, though rather unremunerative, had indeed given me the -opportunity of making a little success. During the previous winter I -had written a long article on Weber's Freischutz for the Gazette -Musicale. This was intended to prepare the way for the forthcoming -first performance of this opera, after recitatives from the pen of -Berlioz had been added to it. The latter was apparently far from -pleased at my article. In the article I could not help referring to -Berlioz's absurd idea of polishing up this old-fashioned musical work -by adding ingredients that spoiled its original characteristics, merely -in order to give it an appearance suited to the luxurious repertoire of -Opera House. The fact that the result fully justified my forecasts did -not in the least tend to diminish the ill-feeling I had roused among -all those concerned in the production; but I had the satisfaction of -hearing that the famous George Sand had noticed my article. She -commenced the introduction to a legendary story of French provincial -life by repudiating certain doubts as to the ability of the French -people to understand the mystic, fabulous element which, as I had -shown, was displayed in such a masterly manner in Freischutz, and she -pointed to my article as clearly explaining the characteristics of that -opera. - -Another journalistic opportunity arose out of my endeavours to secure -the acceptance of my Rienzi by the Court Theatre at Dresden. Herr -Winkler, the secretary of that theatre, whom I have already mentioned, -regularly reported progress; but as editor of the Abendzeitung, a paper -then rather on the wane, he seized the opportunity presented by our -negotiations in order to ask me to send him frequent and gratuitous -contributions. The consequence was, that whenever I wanted to know -anything concerning the fate of my opera, I had to oblige him by -enclosing an article for his paper. Now, as these negotiations with the -Court Theatre lasted a very long time, and involved a large number of -contributions from me, I often got into the most extraordinary fixes -simply owing to the fact that I was now once more a prisoner in my -room, and had been so for some time, and therefore knew nothing of what -was going on in Paris. - -I had serious reasons for thus withdrawing from the artistic and social -life of Paris. My own painful experiences and my disgust at all the -mockery of that kind of life, once so attractive to me and yet so alien -to my education, had quickly driven me away from everything connected -with it. It is true that the production of the Huguenots, for instance, -which I then heard for the first time, dazzled me very much indeed. Its -beautiful orchestral execution, and the extremely careful and effective -mise en scene, gave me a grand idea of the great possibilities of such -perfect and definite artistic means. But, strange to say, I never felt -inclined to hear the same opera again. I soon became tired of the -extravagant execution of the vocalists, and I often amused my friends -exceedingly by imitating the latest Parisian methods and the vulgar -exaggerations with which the performances teemed. Those composers, -moreover, who aimed at achieving success by adopting the style which -was then in vogue, could not help, either, incurring my sarcastic -criticism. The last shred of esteem which I still tried to retain for -the 'first lyrical theatre in the world' was at last rudely destroyed -when I saw how such an empty, altogether un-French work as Donizetti's -Favorita could secure so long and important a run at this theatre. - -During the whole time of my stay in Paris I do not think I went to the -opera more than four times. The cold productions at the Opera Comique, -and the degenerate quality of the music produced there, had repelled me -from the start; and the same lack of enthusiasm displayed by the -singers also drove me from Italian opera. The names, often very famous -ones, of these artists who sang the same four operas for years could -not compensate me for the complete absence of sentiment which -characterised their performance, so unlike that of Schroder-Devrient, -which I so thoroughly enjoyed. I clearly saw that everything was on the -down grade, and yet I cherished no hope or desire to see this state of -decline superseded by a period of newer and fresher life. I preferred -the small theatres, where French talent was shown in its true light; -and yet, as the result of my own longings, I was too intent upon -finding points of relationship in them which would excite my sympathy, -for it to be possible for me to realise those peculiar excellences in -them which did not happen to interest me at all. Besides, from the very -beginning my own troubles had proved so trying, and the consciousness -of the failure of my Paris schemes had become so cruelly apparent, -that, either out of indifference or annoyance, I declined all -invitations to the theatres. Again and again, much to Minna's regret, I -returned tickets for performances in which Rachel was to appear at the -Theatre Francais, and, in fact, saw that famous theatre only once, -when, some time later, I had to go there on business for my Dresden -patron, who wanted some more articles. - -I adopted the most shameful means for filling the columns of the -Abendzeitung; I just strung together whatever I happened to hear in the -evening from Anders and Lehrs. But as they had no very exciting -adventures either, they simply told me all they had picked up from -papers and table-talk, and this I tried to render with as much piquancy -as possible in accordance with the journalistic style created by Heine, -which was all the rage at the time. My one fear was lest old Hofrath -Winkler should some day discover the secret of my wide knowledge of -Paris. Among other things which I sent to his declining paper was a -long account of the production of Freischutz, He was particularly -interested in it, as he was the guardian of Weber's children; and when -in one of his letters he assured me that he would not rest until he had -got the definite assurance that Rienzi had been accepted, I sent him, -with my most profuse thanks, the German manuscript of my 'Beethoven' -story for his paper. The 1841 edition of this gazette, then published -by Arnold, but now no longer in existence, contains the only print of -this manuscript. - -My occasional journalistic work was increased by a request from Lewald, -the editor of Europa, a literary monthly, asking me to write something -for him. This man was the first who, from time to time, had mentioned -my name to the public. As he used to publish musical supplements to his -elegant and rather widely read magazine, I sent him two of my -compositions from Konigsberg for publication. One of these was the -music I had set to a melancholy poem by Scheuerlin, entitled Der Knabe -und der Tannenbaum (a work of which even to-day I am still proud), and -my beautiful Carnevals Lied out of Liebesverbot. - -When I wanted to publish my little French compositions--Dors, mon -enfant, and the music to Hugo's Attente and Ronsard's Mignonne--Lewald -not only sent me a small fee--the first I had ever received for a -composition--but commissioned some long articles on my Paris -impressions, which he begged me to write as entertainingly as possible. -For his paper I wrote Pariser Amusements and Pariser Fatalitaten, in -which I gave vent in a humorous style, a la Heine, to all my -disappointing experiences in Paris, and to all my contempt for the life -led by its inhabitants. In the second I described the existence of a -certain Hermann Pfau, a strange good-for-nothing with whom, during my -early Leipzig days, I had become more intimately acquainted than was -desirable. This man had been wandering about Paris like a vagrant ever -since the beginning of the previous winter, and the meagre income I -derived from arrangements of La Favorita was often partly consumed in -helping this completely broken-down fellow. So it was only fair that I -should get back a few francs of the money spent on him in Paris by -turning his adventures to some account in Lewald's newspapers. - -When I came into contact with Leon Pillet, the manager of the Opera, my -literary work took yet another direction. After numerous inquiries I -eventually discovered that he had taken a fancy to my draft of the -Fliegender Hollander. He informed me of this, and asked me to sell him -the plot, as he was under contract to supply various composers with -subjects for operettas. I tried to explain to Pillet, both verbally and -in writing, that he could hardly expect that the plot would be properly -treated except by myself, as this draft was in fact my own idea, and -that it had only come to his knowledge by my having submitted it to -him. But it was all to no purpose. He was obliged to admit quite -frankly that the expectations I had cherished as to the result of -Meyerbeer's recommendation to him would not come to anything. He said -there was no likelihood of my getting a commission for a composition, -even of a light opera, for the next seven years, as his already -existing contracts extended over that period. He asked me to be -sensible, and to sell him the draft for a small amount, so that he -might have the music written by an author to be selected by him; and he -added that if I still wished to try my luck at the Opera House, I had -better see the 'ballet-master,' as he might want some music for a -certain dance. Seeing that I contemptuously refused this proposal, he -left me to my own devices. - -After endless and unsuccessful attempts at getting the matter settled, -I at last begged Edouard Monnaie, the Commissaire for the Royal -Theatres, who was not only a friend of mine, but also editor of the -Gazette Musicale, to act as mediator. He candidly confessed that he -could not understand Pillet's liking for my plot, which he also was -acquainted with; but as Pillet seemed to like it--though he would -probably lose it--he advised me to accept anything for it, as Monsieur -Paul Faucher, a brother-in-law of Victor Hugo's, had had an offer to -work out the scheme for a similar libretto. This gentleman had, -moreover, declared that there was nothing new in my plot, as the story -of the Vaisseau Fantome was well known in France. I now saw how I -stood, and, in a conversation with Pillet, at which M. Faucher was -present, I said I would come to an arrangement. My plot was generously -estimated by Pillet at five hundred francs, and I received that amount -from the cash office at the theatre, to be subsequently deducted from -the author's rights of the future poet. - -Our summer residence in the Avenue de Meudon now assumed quite a -definite character. These five hundred francs had to help me to work -out the words and music of my Fliegender Hollander for Germany, while I -abandoned the French Vaisseau Fantome to its fate. - -The state of my affairs, which was getting ever worse and worse, was -slightly improved by the settlement of this matter. May and June had -gone by, and during these months our troubles had grown steadily more -serious. The lovely season of the year, the stimulating country air, -and the sensation of freedom following upon my deliverance from the -wretchedly paid musical hack-work I had had to do all the winter, -wrought their beneficial effects on me, and I was inspired to write a -small story entitled Ein glucklicher Abend. This was translated and -published in French in the Gazette Musicale. Soon, however, our lack of -funds began to make itself felt with a severity that was very -discouraging. We felt this all the more keenly when my sister Cecilia -and her husband, following our example, moved to a place quite close to -us. Though not wealthy, they were fairly well-to-do. They came to see -us every day, but we never thought it desirable to let them know how -terribly hard-up we were. One day it came to a climax. Being absolutely -without money, I started out, early one morning, to walk to Paris--for -I had not even enough to pay the railway fare thither--and I resolved -to wander about the whole day, trudging from street to street, even -until late in the afternoon, in the hope of raising a five-franc piece; -but my errand proved absolutely vain, and I had to walk all the way -back to Meudon again, utterly penniless. - -When I told Minna, who came to meet me, of my failure, she informed me -in despair that Hermann Pfau, whom I have mentioned before, had also -come to us in the most pitiful plight, and actually in want of food, -and that she had had to give him the last of the bread delivered by the -baker that morning. The only hope that now remained was that, at any -rate, my lodger Brix, who by a singular fate was now our companion in -misfortune, would return with some success from the expedition to Paris -which he also had made that morning. At last he, too, returned bathed -in perspiration and exhausted, driven home by the craving for a meal, -which he had been unable to procure in the town, as he could not find -any of the acquaintances he went to see. He begged most piteously for a -piece of bread. This climax to the situation at last inspired my wife -with heroic resolution; for she felt it her duty to exert herself to -appease at least the hunger of her menfolk. For the first time during -her stay on French soil, she persuaded the baker, the butcher, and -wine-merchant, by plausible arguments, to supply her with the -necessaries of life without immediate cash payment, and Minna's eyes -beamed when, an hour later, she was able to put before us an excellent -meal, during which, as it happened, we were surprised by the Avenarius -family, who were evidently relieved at finding us so well provided for. - -This extreme distress was relieved for a time, at the beginning of -July, by the sale of my Vaisseau Fantome, which meant my final -renunciation of my success in Paris. As long as the five hundred francs -lasted, I had an interval of respite for carrying on my work. The first -object on which I spent my money was on the hire of a piano, a thing of -which I had been entirely deprived for months. My chief intention in so -doing was to revive my faith in myself as a musician, as, ever since -the autumn of the previous year, I had exercised my talents as a -journalist and adapter of operas only. The libretto of the Fliegender -Hollander, which I had hurriedly written during the recent period of -distress, aroused considerable interest in Lehrs; he actually declared -I would never write anything better, and that the Fliegender Hollander -would be my Don Juan; the only thing now was to find the music for it. -As towards the end of the previous winter I still entertained the hopes -of being permitted to treat this subject for the French Opera, I had -already finished some of the words and music of the lyric parts, and -had had the libretto translated by Emile Deschamps, intending it for a -trial performance, which, alas, never took place. These parts were the -ballad of Senta, the song of the Norwegian sailors, and the 'Spectre -Song' of the crew of the Fliegender Hollander. Since that time I had -been so violently torn away from the music that, when the piano arrived -at my rustic retreat, I did not dare to touch it for a whole day. I was -terribly afraid lest I should discover that my inspiration had left -me--when suddenly I was seized with the idea that I had forgotten to -write out the song of the helmsman in the first act, although, as a -matter of fact, I could not remember having composed it at all, as I -had in reality only just written the lyrics. I succeeded, and was -pleased with the result. The same thing occurred with the 'Spinner's -Song,' and when I had written out these two pieces, and, on further -reflection, could not help admitting that they had really only taken -shape in my mind at that moment, I was quite delirious with joy at the -discovery. In seven weeks the whole of the music of the Fliegender -Hollander, except the orchestration, was finished. - -Thereupon followed a general revival in our circle; my exuberant good -spirits astonished every one, and my Avenarius relations in particular -thought I must really be prospering, as I was such good company. I -resumed my long walks in the woods of Meudon, frequently even -consenting to help Minna gather mushrooms, which, unfortunately, were -for her the chief charm of our woodland retreat, though it filled our -landlord with terror when he saw us returning with our spoils, as he -felt sure we should be poisoned if we ate them. - -My destiny, which almost invariably led me into strange adventures, -here once more introduced me to the most eccentric character to be -found not only in the neighbourhood of Meudon, but even in Paris. This -was M. Jadin, who, though he was old enough to be able to say that he -remembered seeing Madame de Pompadour at Versailles, was still vigorous -beyond belief. It appeared to be his aim to keep the world in a -constant state of conjecture as to his real age; he made everything for -himself with his own hands, including even a quantity of wigs of every -shade, ranging in the most comic variety from youthful flaxen to the -most venerable white, with intermediate shades of grey; these he wore -alternately, as the fancy pleased him. He dabbled in everything, and I -was pleased to find he had a particular fancy for painting. The fact -that all the walls of his rooms were hung with the most childish -caricatures of animal life, and that he had even embellished the -outside of his blinds with the most ridiculous paintings, did not -disconcert me in the least; on the contrary, it confirmed my belief -that he did not dabble in music, until, to my horror, I discovered that -the strangely discordant sounds of a harp which kept reaching my ears -from some unknown region were actually proceeding from his basement, -where he had two harpsichords of his own invention. He informed me that -he had unfortunately neglected playing them for a long time, but that -he now meant to begin practising again assiduously in order to give me -pleasure. I succeeded in dissuading him from this, by assuring him that -the doctor had forbidden me to listen to the harp, as it was bad for my -nerves. His figure as I saw him for the last time remains impressed on -my memory, like an apparition from the world of Hoffmann's fairy-tales. -In the late autumn, when we were going back to Paris, he asked us to -take with us on our furniture van an enormous stove-pipe, of which he -promised to relieve us shortly. One very cold day Jadin actually -presented himself at our new abode in Paris, in a most preposterous -costume of his own manufacture, consisting of very thin light-yellow -trousers, a very short pale-green dress-coat with conspicuously long -tails, projecting lace shirt frills and cuffs, a very fair wig, and a -hat so small that it was constantly dropping off; he wore in addition a -quantity of imitation jewellery--and all this on the undisguised -assumption that he could not go about in fashionable Paris dressed as -simply as in the country. He had come for the stove-pipe; we asked him -where the men to carry it were; in reply he simply smiled, and -expressed his surprise at our helplessness; and thereupon took the -enormous stove-pipe under his arm and absolutely refused to accept our -help when we offered to assist him in carrying it down the stairs, -though this operation, notwithstanding his vaunted skill, occupied him -quite half an hour. Every one in the house assembled to witness this -removal, but he was by no means disconcerted, and managed to get the -pipe through the street door, and then tripped gracefully along the -pavement with it, and disappeared from our sight. - -For this short though eventful period, during which I was quite free to -give full scope to my inmost thoughts, I indulged in the consolation of -purely artistic creations. I can only say that, when it came to an end, -I had made such progress that I could look forward with cheerful -composure to the much longer period of trouble and distress I felt was -in store for me. This, in fact, duly set in, for I had only just -completed the last scene when I found that my five hundred francs were -coming to an end, and what was left was not sufficient to secure me the -necessary peace and freedom from worry for composing the overture; I -had to postpone this until my luck should take another favourable turn, -and meanwhile I was forced to engage in the struggle for a bare -subsistence, making efforts of all kinds that left me neither leisure -nor peace of mind. The concierge from the Rue du Helder brought us the -news that the mysterious family to whom we had let our rooms had left, -and that we were now once more responsible for the rent. I had to tell -him that I would not under any circumstances trouble about the rooms -any more, and that the landlord might recoup himself by the sale of the -furniture we had left there. This was done at a very heavy loss, and -the furniture, the greater part of which was still unpaid for, was -sacrificed to pay the rent of a dwelling which we no longer occupied. - -Under the stress of the most terrible privations I still endeavoured to -secure sufficient leisure for working out the orchestration of the -score of the Fliegender Hollander. The rough autumn weather set in at -an exceptionally early date; people were all leaving their country -houses for Paris, and, among them, the Avenarius family. We, however, -could not dream of doing so, for we could not even raise the funds for -the journey. When M. Jadin expressed his surprise at this, I pretended -to be so pressed with work that I could not interrupt it, although I -felt the cold that penetrated through the thin walls of the house very -severely. - -So I waited for help from Ernst Castel, one of my old Konigsberg -friends, a well-to-do young merchant, who a short time before had -called on us in Meudon and treated us to a luxurious repast in Paris, -promising at the same time to relieve our necessities as soon as -possible by an advance, which we knew was an easy matter to him. - -By way of cheering us up, Kietz came over to us one day, with a large -portfolio and a pillow under his arm; he intended to amuse us by -working at a large caricature representing myself and my unfortunate -adventures in Paris, and the pillow was to enable him, after his -labours, to get some rest on our hard couch, which he had noticed had -no pillows at the head. Knowing that we had a difficulty in procuring -fuel, he brought with him some bottles of rum, to 'warm' us with punch -during the cold evenings; under these circumstances I read Hoffmann's -Tales to him and my wife. - -At last I had news from Konigsberg, but it only opened my eyes to the -fact that the gay young dog had not meant his promise seriously. We now -looked forward almost with despair to the chilly mists of approaching -winter, but Kietz, declaring that it was his place to find help, packed -up his portfolio, placed it under his arm with the pillow, and went off -to Paris. On the next day he returned with two hundred francs, that he -had managed to procure by means of generous self-sacrifice. We at once -set off for Paris, and took a small apartment near our friends, in the -back part of No. 14 Rue Jacob. I afterwards heard that shortly after we -left it was occupied by Proudhon. - -We got back to town on 30th October. Our home was exceedingly small and -cold, and its chilliness in particular made it very bad for our health. -We furnished it scantily with the little we had saved from the wreck of -the Rue du Holder, and awaited the results of my efforts towards -getting my works accepted and produced in Germany. The first necessity -was at all costs to secure peace and quietness for myself for the short -time which I should have to devote to the overture of the Fliegender -Hollander; I told Kietz that he would have to procure the money -necessary for my household expenses until this work was finished and -the full score of the opera sent off. With the aid of a pedantic uncle, -who had lived in Paris a long time and who was also a painter, he -succeeded in providing me with the necessary assistance, in instalments -of five or ten francs at a time. During this period I often pointed -with cheerful pride to my boots, which became mere travesties of -footgear, as the soles eventually disappeared altogether. - -As long as I was engaged on the Dutchman, and Kietz was looking after -me, this made no difference, for I never went out: but when I had -despatched my completed score to the management of the Berlin Court -Theatre at the beginning of December, the bitterness of the position -could no longer be disguised. It was necessary for me to buckle to and -look for help myself. - -What this meant in Paris I learned just about this time from the -hapless fate of the worthy Lehrs. Driven by need such as I myself had -had to surmount a year before at about the same time, he had been -compelled on a broiling hot day in the previous summer to scour the -various quarters of the city breathlessly, to get grace for bills he -had accepted, and which had fallen due. He foolishly took an iced -drink, which he hoped would refresh him in his distressing condition, -but it immediately made him lose his voice, and from that day he was -the victim of a hoarseness which with terrific rapidity ripened the -seeds of consumption, doubtless latent in him, and developed that -incurable disease. For months he had been growing weaker and weaker, -filling us at last with the gloomiest anxiety: he alone believed the -supposed chill would be cured, if he could heat his room better for a -time. One day I sought him out in his lodging, where I found him in the -icy-cold room, huddled up at his writing-table, and complaining of the -difficulty of his work for Didot, which was all the more distressing as -his employer was pressing him for advances he had made. - -He declared that if he had not had the consolation in those doleful -hours of knowing that I had, at any rate, got my Dutchman finished, and -that a prospect of success was thus opened to the little circle of -friends, his misery would have been hard indeed to bear. Despite my own -great trouble, I begged him to share our fire and work in my room. He -smiled at my courage in trying to help others, especially as my -quarters offered barely space enough for myself and my wife. However, -one evening he came to us and silently showed me a letter he had -received from Villemain, the Minister of Education at that time, in -which the latter expressed in the warmest terms his great regret at -having only just learned that so distinguished a scholar, whose able -and extensive collaboration in Didot's issue of the Greek classics had -made him participator in a work that was the glory of the nation, -should be in such bad health and straitened circumstances. -Unfortunately, the amount of public money which he had at his disposal -at that moment for subsidising literature only allowed of his offering -him the sum of five hundred francs, which he enclosed with apologies, -asking him to accept it as a recognition of his merits on the part of -the French Government, and adding that it was his intention to give -earnest consideration as to how he might materially improve his -position. - -This filled us with the utmost thankfulness on poor Lehrs' account, and -we looked on the incident almost as a miracle. We could not help -assuming, however, that M. Villemain had been influenced by Didot, who -had been prompted by his own guilty conscience for his despicable -exploitation of Lehrs, and by the prospect of thus relieving himself of -the responsibility of helping him. At the same time, from similar cases -within our knowledge, which were fully confirmed by my own subsequent -experience, we were driven to the conclusion that such prompt and -considerate sympathy on the part of a minister would have been -impossible in Germany. Lehrs would now have a fire to work by, but -alas! our fears as to his declining health could not be allayed. When -we left Paris in the following spring, it was the certainty that we -should never see our dear friend again that made our parting so painful. - -In my own great distress I was again exposed to the annoyance of having -to write numerous unpaid articles for the Abendzeitung, as my patron, -Hofrath Winkler, was still unable to give me any satisfactory account -of the fate of my Rienzi in Dresden. In these circumstances I was -obliged to consider it a good thing that Halevy's latest opera was at -last a success. Schlesinger came to us radiant with joy at the success -of La Reine de Chypre, and promised me eternal bliss for the piano -score and various other arrangements I had made of this newest rage in -the sphere of opera. So I was again forced to pay the penalty for -composing my own Fliegender Hollander by having to sit down and write -out arrangements of Halevy's opera. Yet this task no longer weighed on -me so heavily. Apart from the wellfounded hope of being at last -recalled from my exile in Paris, and thus being able, as I thought, to -regard this last struggle with poverty as the decisive one, the -arrangement of Halevy's score was far and away a more interesting piece -of hack-work than the shameful labour I had spent on Donizetti's -Favorita. - -I paid another visit, the last for a long time to come, to the Grand -Opera to hear this Reine de Chypre. There was, indeed, much for me to -smile at. My eyes were no longer shut to the extreme weakness of this -class of work, and the caricature of it that was often produced by the -method of rendering it. I was sincerely rejoiced to see the better side -of Halevy again. I had taken a great fancy to him from the time of his -La Juive, and had a very high opinion of his masterly talent. - -At the request of Schlesinger I also willingly consented to write for -his paper a long article on Halevy's latest work. In it I laid -particular stress on my hope that the French school might not again -allow the benefits obtained by studying the German style to be lost by -relapsing into the shallowest Italian methods. On that occasion I -ventured, by way of encouraging the French school, to point to the -peculiar significance of Auber, and particularly to his Stumme von -Portici, drawing attention, on the other hand, to the overloaded -melodies of Rossini, which often resembled sol-fa exercises. In reading -over the proof of my article I saw that this passage about Rossini had -been left out, and M. Edouard Monnaie admitted to me that, in his -capacity as editor of a musical paper, he had felt himself bound to -suppress it. He considered that if I had any adverse criticism to pass -on the composer, I could easily get it published in any other kind of -paper, but not in one devoted to the interests of music, simply because -such a passage could not be printed there without seeming absurd. It -also annoyed him that I had spoken in such high terms of Auber, but he -let it stand. I had to listen to much from that quarter which -enlightened me for ever with regard to the decay of operatic music in -particular, and artistic taste in general, among Frenchmen of the -present day. - -I also wrote a longer article on the same opera for my precious friend -Winkler at Dresden, who was still hesitating about accepting my Rienzi. -In doing so I intentionally made merry over a mishap that had befallen -Lachner the conductor. Kustner, who was theatrical director at Munich -at the time, with a view to giving his friend another chance, ordered a -libretto to be written for him by St. Georges in Paris, so that, -through his paternal care, the highest bliss which a German composer -could dream of might be assured to his protege. Well, it turned out -that when Halevy's Reine de Chypre appeared, it treated the same -subject as Lachner's presumably original work, which had been composed -in the meantime. It mattered very little that the libretto was a really -good one, the value of the bargain lay in the fact that it was to be -glorified by Lachner's music. It appeared, however, that St. Georges -had, as a matter of fact, to some extent altered the book sent to -Munich, but only by the omission of several interesting features. The -fury of the Munich manager was great, whereupon St. Georges declared -his astonishment that the latter could have imagined he would supply a -libretto intended solely for the German stage at the paltry price -offered by his German customer. As I had formed my own private opinion -as to procuring French librettos for operas, and as nothing in the -world would have induced me to set to music even the most effective -piece of writing by Scribe or St. Georges, this occurrence delighted me -immensely, and in the best of spirits I let myself go on the point for -the benefit of the readers of the Abendzeitung, who, it is to be hoped, -did not include my future 'friend' Lachner. - -In addition, my work on Halevy's opera (Reine de Chypre) brought me -into closer contact with that composer, and was the means of procuring -me many an enlivening talk with that peculiarly good-hearted and really -unassuming man, whose talent, alas, declined all too soon. Schlesinger, -in fact, was exasperated at his incorrigible laziness. Halevy, who had -looked through my piano score, contemplated several changes with a view -to making it easier, but he did not proceed with them: Schlesinger -could not get the proof-sheets back; the publication was consequently -delayed, and he feared that the popularity of the opera would be over -before the work was ready for the public. He urged me to get firm hold -of Halevy very early in the morning in his rooms, and compel him to set -to work at the alterations in my company. - -The first time I reached his house at about ten in the morning, I found -him just out of bed, and he informed me that he really must have -breakfast first. I accepted his invitation, and sat down with him to a -somewhat luxurious meal; my conversation seemed to appeal to him, but -friends came in, and at last Schlesinger among the number, who burst -into a fury at not finding him at work on the proofs he regarded as so -important. Halevy, however, remained quite unmoved. In the best of good -tempers he merely complained of his latest success, because he had -never had more peace than of late, when his operas, almost without -exception, had been failures, and he had not had anything to do with -them after the first production. Moreover, he feigned not to understand -why this Reine de Chypre in particular should have been a success; he -declared that Schlesinger had engineered it on purpose to worry him. -When he spoke a few words to me in German, one of the visitors was -astonished, whereupon Schlesinger said that all Jews could speak -German. Thereupon Schlesinger was asked if he also was a Jew. He -answered that he had been, but had become a Christian for his wife's -sake. This freedom of speech was a pleasant surprise to me, because in -Germany in such cases we always studiously avoided the point, as -discourteous to the person referred to. But as we never got to the -proof correcting, Schlesinger made me promise to give Halevy no peace -until we had done them. - -The secret of his indifference to success became clear to me in the -course of further conversation, as I learned that he was on the point -of making a wealthy marriage. At first I was inclined to think that -Halevy was simply a man whose youthful talent was only stimulated to -achieve one great success with the object of becoming rich; in his -case, however, this was not the only reason, as he was very modest in -regard to his own capacity, and had no great opinion of the works of -those more fortunate composers who were writing for the French stage at -that time. In him I thus, for the first time, met with the frankly -expressed admission of disbelief in the value of all our modern -creations in this dubious field of art. I have since come to the -conclusion that this incredulity, often expressed with much less -modesty, justifies the participation of all Jews in our artistic -concerns. Only once did Halevy speak to me with real candour, when, on -my tardy departure for Germany, he wished me the success he thought my -works deserved. - -In the year 1860 I saw him again. I had learned that, while the -Parisian critics were giving vent to the bitterest condemnation of the -concerts I was giving at that time, he had expressed his approval, and -this determined me to visit him at the Palais de l'Institut, of which -he had for some time been permanent secretary. He seemed particularly -eager to learn from my own lips what my new theory about music really -was, of which he had heard such wild rumours. For his own part, he -said, he had never found anything but music in my music, but with this -difference, that mine had generally seemed very good. This gave rise to -a lively discussion on my part, to which he good-humouredly agreed, -once more wishing me success in Paris. This time, however, he did so -with less conviction than when he bade me good-bye for Germany, which I -thought was because he doubted whether I could succeed in Paris. From -this final visit I carried away a depressing sense of the enervation, -both moral and aesthetic, which had overcome one of the last great -French musicians, while, on the other hand, I could not help feeling -that a tendency to a hypocritical or frankly impudent exploitation of -the universal degeneracy marked all who could be designated as Halevy's -successors. - -Throughout this period of constant hack-work my thoughts were entirely -bent on my return to Germany, which now presented itself to my mind in -a wholly new and ideal light. I endeavoured in various ways to secure -all that seemed most attractive about the project, or which filled my -soul with longing. My intercourse with Lehrs had, on the whole, given a -decided spur to my former tendency to grapple seriously with my -subjects, a tendency which had been counteracted by closer contact with -the theatre. This desire now furnished a basis for closer study of -philosophical questions. I had been astonished at times to hear even -the grave and virtuous Lehrs, openly and quite as a matter of course, -give expression to grave doubts concerning our individual survival -after death. He declared that in many great men this doubt, even though -only tacitly held, had been the real incitement to noble deeds. The -natural result of such a belief speedily dawned on me without, however, -causing me any serious alarm. On the contrary, I found a fascinating -stimulus in the fact that boundless regions of meditation and knowledge -were thereby opened up which hitherto I had merely skimmed in -light-hearted levity. - -In my renewed attempts to study the Greek classics in the original, I -received no encouragement from Lehrs. He dissuaded me from doing so -with the well-meant consolation, that as I could only be born once, and -that with music in me, I should learn to understand this branch of -knowledge without the help of grammar or lexicon; whereas if Greek were -to be studied with real enjoyment, it was no joke, and would not suffer -being relegated to a secondary place. - -On the other hand, I felt strongly drawn to gain a closer acquaintance -of German history than I had secured at school. I had Raumer's History -of the Hohenstaufen within easy reach to start upon. All the great -figures in this book lived vividly before my eyes. I was particularly -captivated by the personality of that gifted Emperor Frederick II., -whose fortunes aroused my sympathy so keenly that I vainly sought for a -fitting artistic setting for them. The fate of his son Manfred, on the -other hand, provoked in me an equally well-grounded, but more easily -combated, feeling of opposition. - -I accordingly made a plan of a great five-act dramatic poem, which -should also be perfectly adapted to a musical setting. My impulse to -embellish the story with the central figure of romantic significance -was prompted by the fact of Manfred's enthusiastic reception in Luceria -by the Saracens, who supported him and carried him on from victory to -victory till he reached his final triumph, and this, too, in spite of -the fact that he had come to them betrayed on every hand, banned by the -Church, and deserted by all his followers during his flight through -Apulia and the Abruzzi. - -Even at this time it delighted me to find in the German mind the -capacity of appreciating beyond the narrow bounds of nationality all -purely human qualities, in however strange a garb they might be -presented. For in this I recognised how nearly akin it is to the mind -of Greece. In Frederick II. I saw this quality in full flower. A -fair-haired German of ancient Swabian stock, heir to the Norman realm -of Sicily and Naples, who gave the Italian language its first -development, and laid a basis for the evolution of knowledge and art -where hitherto ecclesiastical fanaticism and feudal brutality had alone -contended for power, a monarch who gathered at his court the poets and -sages of eastern lands, and surrounded himself with the living products -of Arabian and Persian grace and spirit--this man I beheld betrayed by -the Roman clergy to the infidel foe, yet ending his crusade, to their -bitter disappointment, by a pact of peace with the Sultan, from whom he -obtained a grant of privileges to Christians in Palestine such as the -bloodiest victory could scarcely have secured. - -In this wonderful Emperor, who finally, under the ban of that same -Church, struggled hopelessly and in vain against the savage bigotry of -his age, I beheld the German ideal in its highest embodiment. My poem -was concerned with the fate of his favourite son Manfred. On the death -of an elder brother, Frederick's empire had entirely fallen to pieces, -and the young Manfred was left, under papal suzerainty, in nominal -possession of the throne of Apulia. We find him at Capua, in -surroundings, and attended by a court, in which the spirit of his great -father survives, in a state of almost effeminate degeneration. In -despair of ever restoring the imperial power of the Hohenstaufen, he -seeks to forget his sadness in romance and song. There now appears upon -the scene a young Saracen lady, just arrived from the East, who, by -appealing to the alliance between East and West concluded by Manfred's -noble father, conjures the desponding son to maintain his imperial -heritage. She acts the part of an inspired prophetess, and though the -prince is quickly filled with love for her, she succeeds in keeping him -at a respectful distance. By a skilfully contrived flight she snatches -him, not only from the pursuit of rebellious Apulian nobles, but also -from the papal ban which is threatening to depose him from his throne. -Accompanied only by a few faithful followers, she guides him through -mountain fastnesses, where one night the wearied son beholds the spirit -of Frederick II. passing with feudal array through the Abruzzi, and -beckoning him on to Luceria. - -To this district, situated in the Papal States, Frederick had, by a -peaceful compact, transplanted the remnant of his Saracen retainers, -who had previously been wreaking terrible havoc in the mountains of -Sicily. To the great annoyance of the Pope, he had handed the town over -to them in fee-simple, thus securing for himself a band of faithful -allies in the heart of an ever-treacherous and hostile country. - -Fatima, as my heroine is called, has prepared, through the -instrumentality of trusty friends, a reception for Manfred in this -place. When the papal governor has been expelled by a revolution, he -slips through the gateway into the town, is recognised by the whole -population as the son of their beloved Emperor, and, amid wildest -enthusiasm, is placed at their head, to lead them against the enemies -of their departed benefactor. In the meantime, while Manfred is -marching on from victory to victory in his reconquest of the whole -kingdom of Apulia, the tragic centre of my action still continues to be -the unvoiced longing of the lovelorn victor for the marvellous heroine. - -She is the child of the great Emperor's love for a noble Saracen -maiden. Her mother, on her deathbed, had sent her to Manfred, -foretelling that she would work wonders for his glory provided she -never yielded to his passion. Whether Fatima was to know that she was -his sister I left undecided in framing my plot. Meanwhile she is -careful to show herself to him only at critical moments, and then -always in such a way as to remain unapproachable. When at last she -witnesses the completion of her task in his coronation at Naples, she -determines, in obedience to her vow, to slip away secretly from the -newly anointed king, that she may meditate in the solitude of her -distant home upon the success of her enterprise. - -The Saracen Nurreddin, who had been a companion of her youth, and to -whose help she had chiefly owed her success in rescuing Manfred, is to -be the sole partner of her flight. To this man, who loves her with -passionate ardour, she had been promised in her childhood. Before her -secret departure she pays a last visit to the slumbering king. This -rouses her lover's furious jealousy, as he construes her act into a -proof of unfaithfulness on the part of his betrothed. The last look of -farewell which Fatima casts from a distance at the young monarch, on -his return from his coronation, inflames the jealous lover to wreak -instant vengeance for the supposed outrage upon his honour. He strikes -the prophetess to the earth, whereupon she thanks him with a smile for -having delivered her from an unbearable existence. At the sight of her -body Manfred realises that henceforth happiness has deserted him for -ever. - -This theme I had adorned with many gorgeous scenes and complicated -situations, so that when I had worked it out I could regard it as a -fairly suitable, interesting, and effective whole, especially when -compared with other well-known subjects of a similar nature. Yet I -could never rouse myself to sufficient enthusiasm over it to give my -serious attention to its elaboration, especially as another theme now -laid its grip upon me. This was suggested to me by a pamphlet on the -'Venusberg,' which accidentally fell into my hands. - -If all that I regarded as essentially German had hitherto drawn me with -ever-increasing force, and compelled me to its eager pursuit, I here -found it suddenly presented to me in the simple outlines of a legend, -based upon the old and well-known ballad of 'Tannhauser.' True, its -elements were already familiar to me from Tieck's version in his -Phantasus. But his conception of the subject had flung me back into the -fantastic regions created in my mind at an earlier period by Hoffmann, -and I should certainly never have been tempted to extract the framework -of a dramatic work from his elaborate story. The point in this popular -pamphlet which had so much weight with me was that it brought -'Tannhauser,' if only by a passing hint, into touch with 'The -Minstrel's War on the Wartburg.' I had some knowledge of this also from -Hoffmann's account in his Serapionsbrudern. But I felt that the writer -had only grasped the old legend in a distorted form, and therefore -endeavoured to gain a closer acquaintance with the true aspect of this -attractive story. At this juncture Lehrs brought me the annual report -of the proceedings of the Konigsberg German Society, in which the -'Wartburg contest' was criticised with a fair amount of detail by -Lukas. Here I also found the original text. Although I could utilise -but little of the real setting for my own purpose, yet the picture it -gave me of Germany in the Middle Ages was so suggestive that I found I -had not previously had the smallest conception of what it was like. - -As a sequel to the Wartburg poem, I also found in the same copy a -critical study, 'Lohengrin,' which gave in full detail the main -contents of that widespread epic. - -Thus a whole new world was opened to me, and though as yet I had not -found the form in which I might cope with Lohengrin, yet this image -also lived imperishably within me. When, therefore, I afterwards made a -close acquaintance with the intricacies of this legend, I could -visualise the figure of the hero with a distinctness equal to that of -my conception of Tannhauser at this time. - -Under these influences my longing for a speedy return to Germany grew -ever more intense, for there I hoped to earn a new home for myself -where I could enjoy leisure for creative work. But it was not yet -possible even to think of occupying myself with such grateful tasks. -The sordid necessities of life still bound me to Paris. While thus -employed, I found an opportunity of exerting myself in a way more -congenial to my desires. When I was a young man at Prague, I had made -the acquaintance of a Jewish musician and composer called Dessauer--a -man who was not devoid of talent, who in fact achieved a certain -reputation, but was chiefly known among his intimates on account of his -hypochondria. This man, who was now in flourishing circumstances, was -so far patronised by Schlesinger that the latter seriously proposed to -help him to a commission for Grand Opera. Dessauer had come across my -poem of the Fliegender Hollander, and now insisted that I should draft -a similar plot for him, as M. Leon Pillet's Vaisseau Fantome had -already been given to M. Dietsch, the letter's musical conductor, to -set to music. From this same conductor Dessauer obtained the promise of -a like commission, and he now offered me two hundred francs to provide -him with a similar plot, and one congenial to his hypochondriacal -temperament. - -To meet this wish I ransacked my brain for recollections of Hoffmann, -and quickly decided to work up his Bergwerke von Falun. The moulding of -this fascinating and marvellous material succeeded as admirably as I -could wish. Dessauer also felt convinced that the topic was worth his -while to set to music. His dismay was accordingly all the greater when -Pillet rejected our plot on the ground that the staging would be too -difficult, and that the second act especially would entail -insurmountable obstacles for the ballet, which had to be given each -time. In place of this Dessauer wished me to compose him an oratorio on -'Mary Magdalene.' As on the day that he expressed this wish he appeared -to be suffering from acute melancholia, so much so that he declared he -had that morning seen his own head lying beside his bed, I thought well -not to refuse his request. I asked him, therefore, to give me time, and -I regret to say that ever since that day I have continued to take it.. - -It was amid such distractions as these that this winter at length drew -to an end, while my prospects of getting to Germany gradually grew more -hopeful, though with a slowness that sorely tried my patience. I had -kept up a continuous correspondence with Dresden respecting Rienzi, and -in the worthy chorus-master Fischer I at last found an honest man who -was favourably disposed to me. He sent me reliable and reassuring -reports as to the state of my affairs. - -After receiving news, early in January, 1842, of renewed delay, I at -last heard that by the end of February the work would be ready for -performance. I was seriously uneasy at this, as I was afraid of not -being able to accomplish the journey by that date. But this news also -was soon contradicted, and the honest Fischer informed me that my opera -had had to be postponed till the autumn of that year. I realised fully -that it would never be performed if I could not be present in person at -Dresden. When eventually in March Count Redern, the director of the -Theatre Royal in Berlin, told me that my Fliegender Hollander had been -accepted for the opera there, I thought I had sufficient reason to -return to Germany at all costs as soon as possible. - -I had already had various experiences as to the views of German -managers on this work. Relying on the plot, which had pleased the -manager of the Paris Opera so much, I had sent the libretto in the -first instance to my old acquaintance Ringelhardt, the director of the -Leipzig theatre. But the man had cherished an undisguised aversion for -me since my Liebesverbot. As he could not this time possibly object to -any levity in my subject, he now found fault with its gloomy solemnity -and refused to accept it. As I had met Councillor Kustner, at that time -manager of the Munich Court Theatre, when he was making arrangements -about La Reine de Chypre in Paris, I now sent him the text of the -Dutchman with a similar request. He, too, returned it, with the -assurance that it was not suited to German stage conditions, or to the -taste of the German public. As he had ordered a French libretto for -Munich, I knew what he meant. When the score was finished, I sent it to -Meyerbeer in Berlin, with a letter for Count Redern, and begged him, as -he had been unable to help me to anything in Paris, in spite of his -desire to do so, to be kind enough to use his influence in Berlin in -favour of my composition. I was genuinely astonished at the truly -prompt acceptance of my work two months later, which was accompanied by -very gratifying assurances from the Count, and I was delighted to see -in it a proof of Meyerbeer's sincere and energetic intervention in my -favour. Strange to say, on my return to Germany soon afterwards, I was -destined to learn that Count Redern had long since retired from the -management of the Berlin Opera House, and that Kustner of Munich had -already been appointed his successor; the upshot of this was that Count -Redern's consent, though very courteous, could not by any means be -taken seriously, as the realisation of it depended not on him but on -his successor. What the result was remains to be seen. - -A circumstance that eventually facilitated my long-desired return to -Germany, which was now justified by my good prospects, was the tardily -awakened interest taken in my position by the wealthy members of my -family. If Didot had had reasons of his own for applying to the -Minister Villemain for support for Lehrs, so also Avenarius, my -brother-in-law in Paris, when he heard how I was struggling against -poverty, one day took it into his head to surprise me with some quite -unexpected help secured by his appeal to my sister Louisa. On 26th -December of the fast-waning year 1841 I went home to Minna carrying a -goose under my arm, and in the beak of the bird we found a -five-hundred-franc note. This note had been given me by Avenarius as -the result of a request on my behalf made by my sister Louisa to a -friend of hers, a wealthy merchant named Schletter. This welcome -addition to our extremely straitened resources might not in itself have -been sufficient to put me in an exceedingly good-humour, had I not -clearly seen in it the prospect of escaping altogether from my position -in Paris. As the leading German managers had now consented to the -performance of two of my compositions, I thought I might seriously -reproach my brother-in-law, Friedrich Brockhaus, who had repulsed me -the year before when I applied to him in great distress, on the ground -that he 'disapproved of my profession.' This time I might be more -successful in securing the wherewithal for my return. I was not -mistaken, and when the time came I was supplied from this source with -the necessary travelling expenses. - -With these prospects, and my position thus improved, I found myself -spending the second half of the winter 1841-42 in high spirits, and -affording constant entertainment to the small circle of friends which -my relationship to Avenarius had created around me. Minna and I -frequently spent our evenings with this family and others, amongst whom -I have pleasant recollections of a certain Herr Kuhne, the head of a -private school, and his wife. I contributed so greatly to the success -of their little soirees, and was always so willing to improvise dances -on the piano for them to dance to, that I soon ran the risk of enjoying -an almost burdensome popularity. - -At length the hour struck for my deliverance; the day came on which, as -I devoutly hoped, I might turn my back on Paris for ever. It was the -7th of April, and Paris was already gay with the first luxuriant -buddings of spring. In front of our windows, which all the winter had -looked upon a bleak and desolate garden, the trees were burgeoning, and -the birds sang. Our emotion at parting from our dear friends Anders, -Lehrs, and Kietz, however, was great, almost overwhelming. The first -seemed already doomed to an early death, for his health was exceedingly -bad, and he was advanced in years. About Lehrs' condition, as I have -already said, there could no longer be any doubt, and it was dreadful, -after so short an experience as the two and a half years which I had -spent in Paris, to see the ravages that want had wrought among good, -noble, and sometimes even distinguished men. Kietz, for whose future I -was concerned, less on grounds of health than of morals, touched our -hearts once more by his boundless and almost childlike good-nature. -Fancying, for instance, that I might not have enough money for the -journey, he forced me, in spite of all resistance, to accept another -five-franc piece, which was about all that remained of his own fortune -at the moment: he also stuffed a packet of good French snuff for me -into the pocket of the coach, in which we at last rumbled through the -boulevards to the barriers, which we passed but were unable to see this -time, because our eyes were blinded with tears. - - - -PART II - - -1842-1850 - - - -The journey from Paris to Dresden at that time took five days and -nights. On the German frontier, near Forbach, we met with stormy -weather and snow, a greeting which seemed inhospitable after the spring -we had already enjoyed in Paris. And, indeed, as we continued our -journey through our native land once more, we found much to dishearten -us, and I could not help thinking that the Frenchmen who on leaving -Germany breathed more freely on reaching French soil, and unbuttoned -their coats, as though passing from winter into summer, were not so -very foolish after all, seeing that we, for our part, were now -compelled to seek protection against this conspicuous change of -temperature by being very careful to put on sufficient clothing. The -unkindness of the elements became perfect torture when, later on, -between Frankfort and Leipzig, we were swept into the stream of -visitors to the Great Easter Fair. - -The pressure on the mail-coaches was so great, that for two days and a -night, amid ceaseless storm, snow and rain, we were continually -changing from one wretched 'substitute' to another, thus turning our -journey into an adventure of almost the same type as our former voyage -at sea. - -One solitary flash of brightness was afforded by our view of the -Wartburg, which we passed during the only sunlit hour of this journey. -The sight of this mountain fastness, which, from the Fulda side, is -clearly visible for a long time, affected me deeply. A neighbouring -ridge further on I at once christened the Horselberg, and as we drove -through the valley, pictured to myself the scenery for the third act of -my Tannhauser. This scene remained so vividly in my mind, that long -afterwards I was able to give Desplechin, the Parisian scene-painter, -exact details when he was working out the scenery under my direction. -If I had already been impressed by the significance of the fact that my -first journey through the German Rhine district, so famous in legend, -should have been made on my way home from Paris, it seemed an even more -ominous coincidence that my first sight of Wartburg, which was so rich -in historical and mythical associations, should come just at this -moment. The view so warmed my heart against wind and weather, Jews and -the Leipzig Fair, that in the end I arrived, on 12th April, 1842, safe -and sound, with my poor, battered, half-frozen wife, in that selfsame -city of Dresden which I had last seen on the occasion of my sad -separation from my Minna, and my departure for my northern place of -exile. - -We put up at the 'Stadt Gotha' inn. The city, in which such momentous -years of my childhood and boyhood had been spent, seemed cold and dead -beneath the influences of the wild, gloomy weather. Indeed, everything -there that could remind me of my youth seemed dead. No hospitable house -received us. We found my wife's parents living in cramped and dingy -lodgings in very straitened circumstances, and were obliged at once to -look about for a small abode for ourselves. This we found in the -Topfergasse for twenty-one marks a month. After paying the necessary -business visits in connection with Rienzi, and making arrangements for -Minna during my brief absence, I set out on 15th April direct for -Leipzig, where I saw my mother and family for the first time in six -years. - -During this period, which had been so eventful for my own life, my -mother had undergone a great change in her domestic position through -the death of Rosalie. She was living in a pleasant roomy flat near the -Brockhaus family, where she was free from all those household cares to -which, owing to her large family, she had devoted so many years of -anxious thought. Her bustling energy, which had almost amounted to -hardness, had entirely given place to a natural cheerfulness and -interest in the family prosperity of her married daughters. For the -blissful calm of this happy old age she was mainly indebted to the -affectionate care of her son-in-law, Friedrich Brockhaus, to whom I -expressed my heartfelt thanks for his goodness. She was exceedingly -astonished and pleased to see me unexpectedly enter her room. Any -bitterness that ever existed between us had utterly vanished, and her -only complaint was that she could not put me up in her house, instead -of my brother Julius, the unfortunate goldsmith, who had none of the -qualities that could make him a suitable companion for her. She was -full of hope for the success of my undertaking, and felt this -confidence strengthened by the favourable prophecy which our dear -Rosalie had made about me shortly before her sad death. - -For the present, however, I only stayed a few days in Leipzig, as I had -first to visit Berlin in order to make definite arrangements with Count -Redern for the performance of the Fliegender Hollander. As I have -already observed, I was here at once destined to learn that the Count -was on the point of retiring from the directorship, and he accordingly -referred me for all further decisions to the new director, Kustner, who -had not yet arrived in Berlin. I now suddenly realised what this -strange circumstance meant, and knew that, so far as the Berlin -negotiations went, I might as well have remained in Paris. This -impression was in the main confirmed by a visit to Meyerbeer, who, I -found, regarded my coming to Berlin as over hasty. Nevertheless, he -behaved in a kind and friendly manner, only regretting that he was just -on the point of 'going away,' a state in which I always found him -whenever I visited him again in Berlin. - -Mendelssohn was also in the capital about this time, having been -appointed one of the General Musical Directors to the King of Prussia. -I also sought him out, having been previously introduced to him in -Leipzig. He informed me that he did not believe his work would prosper -in Berlin, and that he would rather go back to Leipzig. I made no -inquiry about the fate of the score of my great symphony performed at -Leipzig in earlier days, which I had more or less forced upon him so -many years ago. On the other hand, he did not betray to me any signs of -remembering that strange offering. In the midst of the lavish comforts -of his home he struck me as cold, yet it was not so much that he -repelled me as that I recoiled from him. I also paid a visit to -Rellstab, to whom I had a letter of introduction from his trusty -publisher, my brother-in-law Brockhaus. Here it was not so much smug -ease that I encountered; I doubtless felt repulsed more by the fact -that he showed no inclination whatever to interest himself in my -affairs. - -I grew very low spirited in Berlin. I could almost have wished -Commissioner Cerf back again. Miserable as had been the time I had -spent here years before, I had then, at any rate, met one man, who, for -all the bluntness of his exterior, had treated me with true -friendliness and consideration. In vain did I try to call to mind the -Berlin through whose streets I had walked, with all the ardour of -youth, by the side of Laube. After my acquaintance with London, and -still more with Paris, this city, with its sordid spaces and -pretensions to greatness, depressed me deeply, and I breathed a hope -that, should no luck crown my life, it might at least be spent in Paris -rather than in Berlin. - -On my return from this wholly fruitless expedition, I first went to -Leipzig for a few days, where, on this occasion, I stayed with my -brother-in-law, Hermann Brockhaus, who was now Professor of Oriental -Languages at the University. His family had been increased by the birth -of two daughters, and the atmosphere of unruffled content, illuminated -by mental activity and a quiet but vivid interest in all things -relating to the higher aspects of life, greatly moved my homeless and -vagabond soul. One evening, after my sister had seen to her children, -whom she had brought up very well, and had sent them with gentle words -to bed, we gathered in the large richly stocked library for our evening -meal and a long confidential chat. Here I broke out into a violent fit -of weeping, and it seemed as though the tender sister, who five years -before had known me during the bitterest straits of my early married -life in Dresden, now really understood me. At the express suggestion of -my brother-in-law Hermann, my family tendered me a loan, to help me to -tide over the time of waiting for the performance of my Rienzi in -Dresden. This, they said, they regarded merely as a duty, and assured -me that I need have no hesitation whatever in accepting it. It -consisted of a sum of six hundred marks, which was to be paid me in -monthly instalments for six months. As I had no prospect of being able -to reply on any other source of income, there was every chance of -Minna's talent for management being put severely to the test, if this -were to carry us through; it could be done, however, and I was able to -return to Dresden with a great sense of relief. - -While I was staying with my relatives I played and sang them the -Fliegender Hollander for the first time connectedly, and seemed to -arouse considerable interest by my performance, for when, later on, my -sister Louisa heard the opera in Dresden, she complained that much of -the effect previously produced by my rendering did not come back to -her. I also sought out my old friend Apel again. The poor man had gone -stone blind, but he astonished me by his cheeriness and contentment, -and thereby once and for all deprived me of any reason for pitying him. -As he declared that he knew the blue coat I was wearing very well, -though it was really a brown one, I thought it best not to argue the -point, and I left Leipzig in a state of wonder at finding every one -there so happy and contented. - -When I reached Dresden, on 26th April, I found occasion to grapple more -vigorously with my lot. Here I was enlivened by closer intercourse with -the people on whom I had to rely for a successful production of Rienzi. -It is true that the results of my interviews with Luttichau, the -general manager, and Reissiger, the musical conductor, left me cold and -incredulous. Both were sincerely astonished at my arrival in Dresden; -and the same might even be said of my frequent correspondent and -patron, Hofrath Winkler, who also would have preferred my remaining in -Paris. But, as has been my constant experience both before and since, -help and encouragement have always come to me from humbler and never -from the more exalted ranks of life. - -So in this case, too, I met my first agreeable sensation in the -overwhelmingly cordial reception I received from the old chorus-master, -Wilhelm Fischer. I had had no previous acquaintance with him, yet he -was the only person who had taken the trouble to read my score -carefully, and had not only conceived serious hopes for the success of -my opera, but had worked energetically to secure its being accepted and -practised. The moment I entered his room and told him my name, he -rushed to embrace me with a loud cry, and in a second I was translated -to an atmosphere of hope. Besides this man, I met in the actor -Ferdinand Heine and his family another sure foundation for hearty and, -indeed, deep-rooted friendship. It is true that I had known him from -childhood, for at that time he was one of the few young people whom my -stepfather Geyer liked to see about him. In addition to a fairly -decided talent for drawing, it was chiefly his pleasant social gifts -that had won him an entrance into our more intimate family circle. As -he was very small and slight, my stepfather nicknamed him DavidCHEN, -and under this appellation he used to take part with great affability -and good-humour in our little festivities, and above all in our -friendly excursions into the neighbouring country, in which, as I -mentioned in its place, even Carl Maria von Weber used to join. -Belonging to the good old school, he had become a useful, if not -prominent, member of the Dresden stage. He possessed all the knowledge -and qualities for a good stage manager, but never succeeded in inducing -the committee to give him that appointment. It was only as a designer -of costumes that he found further scope for his talents, and in this -capacity he was included in the consultations over the staging of -Rienzi. - -Thus it came about that he had the opportunity of busying himself with -the work of a member, now grown to man's estate, of the very family -with whom he had spent such pleasant days in his youth. He greeted me -at once as a child of the house, and we two homeless creatures found in -our memories of this long-lost home the first common basis to our -friendship. We generally spent our evenings with old Fischer at -Heine's, where, amid hopeful conversation, we regaled ourselves on -potatoes and herrings, of which the meal chiefly consisted. -Schroder-Devrient was away on a holiday; Tichatschek, who was also on -the point of going away, I had just time to see, and with him I went -quickly through a part of his role in Rienzi. His brisk and lively -nature, his glorious voice and great musical talent, gave special -weight to his encouraging assurance that he delighted in the role of -Rienzi. Heine also told me that the mere prospect of having many new -costumes, and especially new silver armour, had inspired Tichatschek -with the liveliest desire to play this part, so that I might rely on -him under any circumstances. Thus I could at once give closer attention -to the preparations for practice, which was fixed to begin in the late -summer, after the principal singers had returned from their holiday. - -I had to make special efforts to pacify my friend Fischer by my -readiness to abbreviate the score, which was excessively lengthy. His -intentions in the matter were so honest that I gladly sat down with him -to the wearisome task. I played and sang my score to the astonished man -on an old grand piano in the rehearsing-room of the Court Theatre, with -such frantic vigour that, although he did not mind if the instrument -came to grief, he grew concerned about my chest. Finally, amid hearty -laughter, he ceased to argue about cutting down passages, as precisely -where he thought something might be omitted I proved to him with -headlong eloquence that it was precisely here that the main point lay. -He plunged with me head over heels into the vast chaos of sound, -against which he could raise no objection, beyond the testimony of his -watch, whose correctness I also ended by disputing. As sops I -light-heartedly flung him the big pantomime and most of the ballet in -the second act, whereby I reckoned we might save a whole half-hour. -Thus, thank goodness, the whole monster was at last handed over to the -clerks to make a fair copy of, and the rest was left for time to -accomplish. - -We next discussed what we should do in the summer, and I decided upon a -stay of several months at Toplitz, the scene of my first youthful -flights, whose fine air and baths, I hoped, would also benefit Minna's -health. But before we could carry out this intention I had to pay -several more visits to Leipzig to settle the fate of my Dutchman. On -5th May I proceeded thither to have an interview with Kustner, the new -director of the Berlin Opera, who I had been told had just arrived -there. He was now placed in the awkward position of being about to -produce in Berlin the very opera which he had before declined in -Munich, as it had been accepted by his predecessor in office. He -promised me to consider what steps he would take in this predicament. -In order to learn the result of Kustner's deliberations, I determined, -on 2nd June, to seek him out, and this time in Berlin itself. But at -Leipzig I found a letter in which he begged me to wait patiently a -little longer for his final verdict. I took advantage of being in the -neighbourhood of Halle to pay a visit to my eldest brother Albert. I -was very much grieved and depressed to find the poor fellow, whom I -must give the credit of having the greatest perseverance and a quite -remarkable talent for dramatic song, living in the unworthy and mean -circumstances which the Halle Theatre offered to him and his family. -The realisation of conditions into which I myself had once nearly sunk -now filled me with indescribable abhorrence. Still more harrowing was -it to hear my brother speak of this state in tones which showed, alas, -only too plainly, the hopeless submission with which he had already -resigned himself to its horrors. The only consolation I could find was -the personality and childlike nature of his step-daughter Johanna, who -was then fifteen, and who sang me Spohr's Rose, wie bist du so schon -with great expression and in a voice of an extraordinarily beautiful -quality. - -Then I returned to Dresden, and at last, in wonderful weather, -undertook the pleasant journey to Toplitz with Minna and one of her -sisters, reaching that place on 9th June, where we took up our quarters -at a second-class inn, the Eiche, at Schonau. Here we were soon joined -by my mother, who paid her usual yearly visit to the warm baths all the -more gladly this time because she knew she would find me there. If she -had before had any prejudice against Minna because of my premature -marriage to her, a closer acquaintance with her domestic gifts soon -changed it into respect, and she quickly learned to love the partner of -my doleful days in Paris. Although my mother's vagaries demanded no -small consideration, yet what particularly delighted me about her was -the astonishing vivacity of her almost childlike imagination, a faculty -she retained to such a degree that one morning she complained that my -relation of the Tannhauser legend on the previous evening had given her -a whole night of pleasant but most tiring sleeplessness. - -By dint of appealing letters to Schletter, a wealthy patron of art in -Leipzig, I managed to do something for Kietz, who, had remained behind -in misery in Paris, and also to provide Minna with medical treatment. I -also succeeded to a certain extent in ameliorating my own woeful -financial position. Scarcely were these tasks accomplished, when I -started off in my old boyish way on a ramble of several days on foot -through the Bohemian mountains, in order that I might mentally work out -my plan of the 'Venusberg' amid the pleasant associations of such a -trip. Here I took the fancy of engaging quarters in Aussig on the -romantic Schreckenstein, where for several days I occupied the little -public room, in which straw was laid down for me to sleep on at night. -I found recreation in daily ascents of the Wostrai, the highest peak in -the neighbourhood, and so keenly did the fantastic solitude quicken my -youthful spirit, that I clambered about the ruins of the Schreckenstein -the whole of one moonlit night, wrapped only in a blanket, in order -myself to provide the ghost that was lacking, and delighted myself with -the hope of scaring some passing wayfarer. - -Here I drew up in my pocket-book the detailed plan of a three-act opera -on the 'Venusberg,' and subsequently carried out the composition of -this work in strict accordance with the sketch I then made. - -One day, when climbing the Wostrai, I was astonished, on turning the -corner of a valley, to hear a merry dance tune whistled by a goatherd -perched up on a crag. I seemed immediately to stand among the chorus of -pilgrims filing past the goatherd in the valley; but I could not -afterwards recall the goatherd's tune, so I was obliged to help myself -out of the matter in the usual way. - -Enriched by these spoils, I returned to Toplitz in a wonderfully -cheerful frame of mind and robust health, but on receiving the -interesting news that Tichatschek and Schroder-Devrient were on the -point of returning, I was impelled to set off once more for Dresden. I -took this step, not so much to avoid missing any of the early -rehearsals of Rienzi, as because I wanted to prevent the management -replacing it by something else. I left Minna for a time with my mother, -and reached Dresden on 18th July. - -I hired a small lodging in a queer house, since pulled down, facing the -Maximilian Avenue, and entered into a fairly lively intercourse with -our operatic stars who had just returned. My old enthusiasm for -Schroder-Devrient revived when I saw her again more frequently in -opera. Strange was the effect produced upon me when I heard her for the -first time in Gretry's Blaubart, for I could not help remembering that -this was the first opera I had ever seen. I had been taken to it as a -boy of five (also in Dresden), and I still retained my wondrous first -impressions of it. All my earliest childish memories were revived, and -I recollected how frequently and with what emphasis I had myself sung -Bluebeard's song: Ha, die Falsche! Die Thure offen! to the amusement of -the whole house, with a paper helmet of my own making on my head. My -friend Heine still remembered it well. - -In other respects the operatic performances were not such as to impress -me very favourably: I particularly missed the rolling sound of the -fully equipped Parisian orchestra of string instruments. I also noticed -that, when opening the fine new theatre, they had quite forgotten to -increase the number of these instruments in proportion to the enlarged -space. In this, as well as in the general equipment of the stage, which -was materially deficient in many respects, I was impressed by the sense -of a certain meanness about theatrical enterprise in Germany, which -became most noticeable when reproductions were given, often with -wretched translations of the text, of the Paris opera repertoire. If -even in Paris my dissatisfaction with this treatment of opera had been -great, the feeling which once drove me thither from the German theatres -now returned with redoubled energy. I actually felt degraded again, and -nourished within my breast a contempt so deep that for a time I could -hardly endure the thought of signing a lasting contract, even with one -of the most up-to-date of German opera houses, but sadly wondered what -steps I could take to hold my ground between disgust and desire in this -strange world. - -Nothing but the sympathy inspired by communion with persons endowed -with exceptional gifts enabled me to triumph over my scruples. This -statement applies above all to my great ideal, Schroder-Devrient, in -whose artistic triumphs it had once been my most burning desire to be -associated. It is true that many years had elapsed since my first -youthful impressions of her were formed. As regards her looks, the -verdict which, in the following winter, was sent to Paris by Berlioz -during his stay in Dresden, was so far correct that her somewhat -'maternal' stoutness was unsuited to youthful parts, especially in male -attire, which, as in Rienzi, made too great a demand upon the -imagination. Her voice, which in point of quality had never been an -exceptionally good medium for song, often landed her in difficulties, -and in particular she was forced, when singing, to drag the time a -little all through. But her achievements were less hampered now by -these material hindrances than by the fact that her repertoire -consisted of a limited number of leading parts, which she had sung so -frequently that a certain monotony in the conscious calculation of -effect often developed into a mannerism which, from her tendency to -exaggeration, was at times almost painful. - -Although these defects could not escape me, yet I, more than any one, -was especially qualified to overlook such minor weaknesses, and realise -with enthusiasm the incomparable greatness of her performances. Indeed, -it only needed the stimulus of excitement, which this actress's -exceptionally eventful life still procured, fully to restore the -creative power of her prime, a fact of which I was subsequently to -receive striking demonstrations. But I was seriously troubled and -depressed at seeing how strong was the disintegrating effect of -theatrical life upon the character of this singer, who had originally -been endowed with such great and noble qualities. From the very mouth -through which the great actress's inspired musical utterances reached -me, I was compelled to hear at other times very similar language to -that in which, with but few exceptions, nearly all heroines of the -stage indulge. The possession of a naturally fine voice, or even mere -physical advantages, which might place her rivals on the same footing -as herself in public favour, was more than she could endure; and so far -was she from acquiring the dignified resignation worthy of a great -artist, that her jealousy increased to a painful extent as years went -on. I noticed this all the more because I had reason to suffer from it. -A fact which caused me even greater trouble, however, was that she did -not grasp music easily, and the study of a new part involved -difficulties which meant many a painful hour for the composer who had -to make her master his work. Her difficulty in learning new parts, and -particularly that of Adriano in Rienzi, entailed disappointments for -her which caused me a good deal of trouble. - -If, in her case, I had to handle a great and sensitive nature very -tenderly, I had, on the other hand, a very easy task with Tichatschek, -with his childish limitations and superficial, but exceptionally -brilliant, talents. He did not trouble to learn his parts by heart, as -he was so musical that he could sing the most difficult music at sight, -and thought all further study needless, whereas with most other singers -the work consisted in mastering the score. Hence, if he sang through a -part at rehearsals often enough to impress it on his memory, the rest, -that is to say, everything pertaining to vocal art and dramatic -delivery, would follow naturally. In this way he picked up any clerical -errors there might be in the libretto, and that with such incorrigible -pertinacity, that he uttered the wrong words with just the same -expression as if they were correct. He waved aside good-humouredly any -expostulations or hints as to the sense with the remark, 'Ah! that will -be all right soon.' And, in fact, I very soon resigned myself and quite -gave up trying to get the singer to use his intelligence in the -interpretation of the part of the hero, for which I was very agreeably -compensated by the light-hearted enthusiasm with which he flung himself -into his congenial role, and the irresistible effect of his brilliant -voice. - -With the exception of these two actors who played the leading parts, I -had only very moderate material at my disposal. But there was plenty of -goodwill, and I had recourse to an ingenious device to induce Reissiger -the conductor to hold frequent piano rehearsals. He had complained to -me of the difficulty he had always found in securing a well-written -libretto, and thought it was very sensible of me to have acquired the -habit of writing my own. In his youth he had unfortunately neglected to -do this for himself, and yet this was all he lacked to make a -successful dramatic composer. I feel bound to confess that he possessed -'a good deal of melody'; but this, he added, did not seem sufficient to -inspire the singers with the requisite enthusiasm. His experience was -that Schroder-Devrient, in his Adele de Foix, would render very -indifferently the same final passage with which, in Bellini's Romeo and -Juliet, she would put the audience into an ecstasy. The reason for -this, he presumed, must lie in the subject-matter. I at once promised -him that I would supply him with a libretto in which he would be able -to introduce these and similar melodies to the greatest advantage. To -this he gladly agreed, and I therefore set aside for versification, as -a suitable text for Reissiger, my Hohe Braut, founded on Konig's -romance, which I had once before submitted to Scribe. I promised to -bring Reissiger a page of verse for every piano rehearsal, and this I -faithfully did until the whole book was done. I was much surprised to -learn some time later that Reissiger had had a new libretto written for -him by an actor named Kriethe. This was called the Wreck of the Medusa. -I then learned that the wife of the conductor, who was a suspicious -woman, had been filled with the greatest concern at my readiness to -give up a libretto to her husband. They both thought the book was good -and full of striking effects, but they suspected some sort of trap in -the background, to escape from which they must certainly exercise the -greatest caution. The result was that I regained possession of my -libretto and was able, later on, to help my old friend Kittl with it in -Prague; he set it to music of his own, and entitled it Die Franzosen -vor Nizza. I heard that it was frequently performed in Prague with -great success, though I never saw it myself; and I was also told at the -same time by a local critic that this text was a proof of my real -aptitude as a librettist, and that it was a mistake for me to devote -myself to composition. As regards my Tannhauser, on the other hand, -Laube used to declare it was a misfortune that I had not got an -experienced dramatist to supply me with a decent text for my music. - -For the time being, however, this work of versification had the desired -result, and Reissiger kept steadily to the study of Rienzi. But what -encouraged him even more than my verses was the growing interest of the -singers, and above all the genuine enthusiasm of Tichatschek. This man, -who had been so ready to leave the delights of the theatre piano for a -shooting party, now looked upon the rehearsals of Rienzi as a genuine -treat. He always attended them with radiant eyes and boisterous -good-humour. I soon felt myself in a state of constant exhilaration: -favourite passages were greeted with acclamation by the singers at -every rehearsal, and a concerted number of the third finale, which -unfortunately had afterwards to be omitted owing to its length, -actually became on that occasion a source of profit to me. For -Tichatschek maintained that this B minor was so lovely that something -ought to be paid for it every time, and he put down a silver penny, -inviting the others to do the same, to which they all responded -merrily. From that day forward, whenever we came to this passage at -rehearsals, the cry was raised, 'Here comes the silver penny part,' and -Schroder-Devrient, as she took out her purse, remarked that these -rehearsals would ruin her. This gratuity was conscientiously handed to -me each time, and no one suspected that these contributions, which were -given as a joke, were often a very welcome help towards defraying the -cost of our daily food. For Minna had returned from Toplitz, at the -beginning of August, accompanied by my mother. - -We lived very frugally in chilly lodgings, hopefully awaiting the tardy -day of our deliverance. The months of August and September passed, in -preparation for my work, amid frequent disturbances caused by the -fluctuating and scanty repertoire of a German opera house, and not -until October did the combined rehearsals assume such a character as to -promise the certainty of a speedy production. From the very beginning -of the general rehearsals with the orchestra we all shared the -conviction that the opera would, without doubt, be a great success. -Finally, the full dress rehearsals produced a perfectly intoxicating -effect. When we tried the first scene of the second act with the -scenery complete, and the messengers of peace entered, there was a -general outburst of emotion, and even Schroder-Devrient, who was -bitterly prejudiced against her part, as it was not the role of the -heroine, could only answer my questions in a voice stifled with tears. -I believe the whole theatrical body, down to its humblest officials, -loved me as though I were a real prodigy, and I am probably not far -wrong in saying that much of this arose from sympathy and lively -fellow-feeling for a young man, whose exceptional difficulties were not -unknown to them, and who now suddenly stepped out of perfect obscurity -into splendour. During the interval at the full dress rehearsal, while -other members had dispersed to revive their jaded nerves with lunch, I -remained seated on a pile of boards on the stage, in order that no one -might realise that I was in the quandary of being unable to obtain -similar refreshment. An invalid Italian singer, who was taking a small -part in the opera, seemed to notice this, and kindly brought me a glass -of wine and a piece of bread. I was sorry that I was obliged to deprive -him of even his small part in the course of the year, for its loss -provoked such ill-treatment from his wife, that by conjugal tyranny he -was driven into the ranks of my enemies. When, after my flight from -Dresden in 1849, I learned that I had been denounced to the police by -this same singer for supposed complicity in the rising which took place -in that town, I bethought me of this breakfast during the Rienzi -rehearsal, and felt I was being punished for my ingratitude, for I knew -I was guilty of having brought him into trouble with his wife. - -The frame of mind in which I looked forward to the first performance of -my work was a unique experience which I have never felt either before -or since. My kind sister Clara fully shared my feelings. She had been -living a wretched middle-class life at Chemnitz, which, just about this -time, she had left to come and share my fate in Dresden. The poor -woman, whose undoubted artistic gifts had faded so early, was -laboriously dragging out a commonplace bourgeois existence as a wife -and mother; but now, under the influence of my growing success, she -began joyously to breathe a new life. She and I and the worthy -chorus-master Fischer used to spend our evenings with the Heine family, -still over potatoes and herrings, and often in a wonderfully elated -frame of mind. The evening before our first performance I was able to -crown our happiness by myself ladling out a bowl of punch. With mingled -tears and laughter we skipped about like happy children, and then in -sleep prepared ourselves for the triumphant day to which we looked -forward with such confidence.. - -Although on the morning of 20th October, 1842 I had resolved not to -disturb any of my singers by a visit, yet I happened to come across one -of them, a stiff Philistine called Risse, who was playing a minor bass -part in a dull but respectable way. The day was rather cool, but -wonderfully bright and sunshiny, after the gloomy weather we had just -been having. Without a word this curious creature saluted me and then -remained standing, as though bewitched. He simply gazed into my face -with wonder and rapture, in order to find out, so he at last managed to -tell me in strange confusion, how a man looked who that very day was to -face such an exceptional fate. I smiled and reflected that it was -indeed a day of crisis, and promised him that I would soon drink a -glass with him, at the Stadt Hamburg inn, of the excellent wine he had -recommended to me with so much agitation. - -No subsequent experience of mine can be compared with the sensations -which marked the day of the first production of Rienzi. At all the -first performances of my works in later days, I have been so absorbed -by an only too well-founded anxiety as to their success, that I could -neither enjoy the opera nor form any real estimate of its reception by -the public. As for my subsequent experiences at the general rehearsal -of Tristan und Isolde, this took place under such exceptional -circumstances, and its effect upon me differed so fundamentally from -that produced by the first performance of Rienzi, that no comparison -can possibly be drawn between the two. - -The immediate success of Rienzi was no doubt assured beforehand. But -the emphatic way in which the audience declared their appreciation was -thus far exceptional, that in cities like Dresden the spectators are -never in a position to decide conclusively upon a work of importance on -the first night, and consequently assume an attitude of chilling -restraint towards the works of unknown authors. But this was, in the -nature of things, an exceptional case, for the numerous staff of the -theatre and the body of musicians had inundated the city beforehand -with such glowing reports of my opera, that the whole population -awaited the promised miracle in feverish expectation. I sat with Minna, -my sister Clara, and the Heine family in a pit-box, and when I try to -recall my condition during that evening, I can only picture it with all -the paraphernalia of a dream. Of real pleasure or agitation I felt none -at all: I seemed to stand quite aloof from my work; whereas the sight -of the thickly crowded auditorium agitated me so much, that I was -unable even to glance at the body of the audience, whose presence -merely affected me like some natural phenomenon--something like a -continuous downpour of rain--from which I sought shelter in the -farthest corner of my box as under a protecting roof. I was quite -unconscious of applause, and when at the end of the acts I was -tempestuously called for, I had every time to be forcibly reminded by -Heine and driven on to the stage. On the other hand, one great anxiety -filled me with growing alarm: I noticed that the first two acts had -taken as long as the whole of Freischutz, for instance. On account of -its warlike calls to arms the third act begins with an exceptional -uproar, and when at its close the clock pointed to ten, which meant -that the performance had already lasted full four hours, I became -perfectly desperate. The fact that after this act, also, I was again -loudly called, I regarded merely as a final courtesy on the part of the -audience, who wished to signify that they had had quite enough for one -evening, and would now leave the house in a body. As we had still two -acts before us, I thought it settled that we should not be able to -finish the piece, and apologised for my lack of wisdom in not having -previously effected the necessary curtailments. Now, thanks to my -folly, I found myself in the unheard-of predicament of being unable to -finish an opera, otherwise extremely well received, simply because it -was absurdly long. I could only explain the undiminished zeal of the -singers, and particularly of Tichatschek, who seemed to grow lustier -and cheerier the longer it lasted, as an amiable trick to conceal from -me the inevitable catastrophe. But my astonishment at finding the -audience still there in full muster, even in the last act--towards -midnight--filled me with imbounded perplexity. I could no longer trust -my eyes or ears, and regarded the whole events of the evening as a -nightmare. It was past midnight when, for the last time, I had to obey -the thunderous calls of the audience, side by side with my trusty -singers. - -My feeling of desperation at the unparalleled length of my opera was -augmented by the temper of my relatives, whom I saw for a short time -after the performance. Friedrich Brockhaus and his family had come over -with some friends from Leipzig, and had invited us to the inn, hoping -to celebrate an agreeable success over a pleasant supper, and possibly -to drink my health. But on arriving, kitchen and cellar were closed, -and every one was so worn out that nothing was to be heard but outcries -at the unparalleled case of an opera lasting from six o'clock till past -twelve. No further remarks were exchanged, and we stole away feeling -quite stupefied. - -About eight the next morning I put in an appearance at the clerks' -office, in order that in case there should be a second performance I -might arrange the necessary curtailment of the parts. If, during the -previous summer, I had contested every beat with the faithful -chorus-master Fischer, and proved them all to be indispensable, I was -now possessed by a blind rage for striking out. There was not a single -part of my score which seemed any longer necessary--what the audience -had been made to swallow the previous evening now appeared but a chaos -of sheer impossibilities, each and all of which might be omitted -without the slightest damage or risk of being unintelligible. My one -thought now was how to reduce my convolution of monstrosities to decent -limits. By dint of unsparing and ruthless abbreviations handed over to -the copyist, I hoped to avert a catastrophe, for I expected nothing -less than that the general manager, together with the city and the -theatre, would that very day give me to understand that such a thing as -the performance of my Last of the Tribunes might perhaps be permitted -once as a curiosity, but not oftener. All day long, therefore, I -carefully avoided going near the theatre, so as to give time for my -heroic abbreviations to do their salutary work, and for news of them to -spread through the city. But at midday I looked in again upon the -copyists, to assure myself that all had been duly performed as I had -ordered. I then learned that Tichatschek had also been there, and, -after inspecting the omissions that I had arranged, had forbidden their -being carried out. Fischer, the chorus-master, also wished to speak to -me about them: work was suspended, and I foresaw great confusion. I -could not understand what it all meant, and feared mischief if the -arduous task were delayed. At length, towards evening, I sought out -Tichatschek at the theatre. Without giving him a chance to speak, I -brusquely asked him why he had interrupted the copyists' work. In a -half-choked voice he curtly and defiantly rejoined, 'I will have none -of my part cut out--it is too heavenly.' I stared at him blankly, and -then felt as though I had been suddenly bewitched: such an unheard-of -testimony to my success could not but shake me out of my strange -anxiety. Others joined him, Fischer radiant with delight and bubbling -with laughter. Every one spoke of the enthusiastic emotion which -thrilled the whole city. Next came a letter of thanks from the -Commissioner acknowledging my splendid work. Nothing now remained for -me but to embrace Tichatschek and Fischer, and go on my way to inform -Minna and Clara how matters stood. - -After a few days' rest for the actors, the second performance took -place on 26th October, but with various curtailments, for which I had -great difficulty in obtaining Tichatschek's consent. Although it was -still of much more than average length, I heard no particular -complaints, and at last adopted Tichatschek's view that, if he could -stand it, so could the audience. For six performances therefore, all of -which continued to receive a similar avalanche of applause, I let the -matter run its course. - -My opera, however, had also excited interest among the elder princesses -of the royal family. They thought its exhausting length a drawback, but -were nevertheless unwilling to miss any of it. Luttichau consequently -proposed that I should give the piece at full length, but half of it at -a time on two successive evenings. This suited me very well, and after -an interval of a few weeks we announced Rienzi's Greatness for the -first day, and His Fall for the second. The first evening we gave two -acts, and on the second three, and for the latter I composed a special -introductory prelude. This met with the entire approval of our august -patrons, and especially of the two eldest, Princesses Amalie and -Augusta. The public, on the contrary, simply regarded this in the light -of now being asked to pay two entrance fees for one opera, and -pronounced the new arrangement a decided fraud. Its annoyance at the -change was so great that it actually threatened to be fatal to the -attendance, and after three performances of the divided Rienzi the -management was obliged to go back to the old arrangement, which I -willingly made possible by introducing my cuttings again. - -From this time forward the piece used to fill the house to overflowing -as often as it could be presented, and the permanence of its success -became still more obvious when I began to realise the envy it drew upon -me from many different quarters. My first experience of this was truly -painful, and came from the hands of the poet, Julius Mosen, on the very -day after the first performance. When I first reached Dresden in the -summer I had sought him out, and, having a really high opinion of his -talent, our intercourse soon became more intimate, and was the means of -giving me much pleasure and instruction. He had shown me a volume of -his plays, which on the whole appealed to me exceptionally. Among these -was a tragedy, Cola Rienzi, dealing with the same subject as my opera, -and in a manner partly new to me, and which I thought effective. With -reference to this poem, I had begged him to take no notice of my -libretto, as in the quality of its poetry it could not possibly bear -comparison with his own; and it cost him little sacrifice to grant the -request. It happened that just before the first performance of my -Rienzi, he had produced in Dresden Bernhard von Weimar, one of his -least happy pieces, the result of which had brought him little -pleasure. Dramatically it was a thing with no life in it, aiming only -at political harangue, and had shared the inevitable fate of all such -aberrations. He had therefore awaited the appearance of my Rienzi with -some vexation, and confessed to me his bitter chagrin at not being able -to procure the acceptance of his tragedy of the same name in Dresden. -This, he presumed, arose from its somewhat pronounced political -tendency, which, certainly in a spoken play on a similar subject, would -be more noticeable than in an opera, where from the very start no one -pays any heed to the words. I had genially confirmed him in this -depreciation of the subject matter in opera; and was therefore the more -startled when, on finding him at my sister Louisa's the day after the -first performance, he straightway overwhelmed me with a scornful -outburst of irritation at my success. But he found in me a strange -sense of the essential unreality in opera of such a subject as that -which I had just illustrated with so much success in Rienzi, so that, -oppressed by a secret sense of shame, I had no serious rejoinder to -offer to his candidly poisonous abuse. My line of defence was not yet -sufficiently clear in my own mind to be available offhand, nor was it -yet backed by so obvious a product of my own peculiar genius that I -could venture to quote it. Moreover, my first impulse was only one of -pity for the unlucky playwright, which I felt all the more constrained -to express, because his burst of fury gave me the inward satisfaction -of knowing that he recognised my great success, of which I was not yet -quite clear myself. - -But this first performance of Rienzi did far more than this. It gave -occasion for controversy, and made an ever-widening breach between -myself and the newspaper critics. Herr Karl Bank, who for some time had -been the chief musical critic in Dresden, had been known to me before -at Magdeburg, where he once visited me and listened with delight to my -playing of several fairly long passages from my Liebesverbot. When we -met again in Dresden, this man could not forgive me for having been -unable to procure him tickets for the first performance of Rienzi. The -same thing happened with a certain Herr Julius Schladebach, who -likewise settled in Dresden about that time as a critic. Though I was -always anxious to be gracious to everybody, yet I felt just then an -invincible repugnance for showing special deference to any man because -he was a critic. As time went on, I carried this rule to the point of -almost systematic rudeness, and was consequently all my life through -the victim of unprecedented persecution from the press. As yet, -however, this ill-will had not become pronounced, for at that time -journalism had not begun to give itself airs in Dresden. There were so -few contributions sent from there to the outside press that our -artistic doings excited very little notice elsewhere, a fact which was -certainly not without its disadvantages for me. Thus for the present -the unpleasant side of my success scarcely affected me at all, and for -a brief space I felt myself, for the first and only time in my life, so -pleasantly borne along on the breath of general good-will, that all my -former troubles seemed amply requited. - -For further and quite unexpected fruits of my success now appeared with -astonishing rapidity, though not so much in the form of material -profit, which for the present resolved itself into nine hundred marks, -paid me by the General Board as an exceptional fee instead of the usual -twenty golden louis. Nor did I dare to cherish the hope of selling my -work advantageously to a publisher, until it had been performed in some -other important towns. But fate willed it, that by the sudden death of -Rastrelli, royal director of music, which occurred shortly after the -first production of Rienzi, an office should unexpectedly become -vacant, for the filling of which all eyes at once turned to me. - -While the negotiations over this matter were slowly proceeding, the -General Board gave proof in another direction of an almost passionate -interest in my talents. They insisted that the first performance of the -Fliegender Hollander should on no account be conceded to the Berlin -opera, but reserved as an honour for Dresden. As the Berlin authorities -raised no obstacle, I very gladly handed over my latest work also to -the Dresden theatre. If in this I had to dispense with Tichatschek's -assistance, as there was no leading tenor part in the play, I could -count all the more surely on the helpful co-operation of -Schroder-Devrient, to whom a worthier task was assigned in the leading -female part than that which she had had in Rienzi. I was glad to be -able thus to rely entirely upon her, as she had grown strangely out of -humour with me, owing to her scanty share in the success of Rienzi. The -completeness of my faith in her I proved with an exaggeration by no -means advantageous to my own work, by simply forcing the leading male -part on Wachter, a once capable, but now somewhat delicate baritone. He -was in every respect wholly unsuited to the task, and only accepted it -with unfeigned hesitation. On submitting my play to my adored prima -donna, I was much relieved to find that its poetry made a special -appeal to her. Thanks to the genuine personal interest awakened in me -under very peculiar circumstances by the character and fate of this -exceptional woman, our study of the part of Senta, which often brought -us into close contact, became one of the most thrilling and momentously -instructive periods of my life. - -It is true that the great actress, especially when under the influence -of her famous mother, Sophie Schroder, who was just then with her on a -visit, showed undisguised vexation at my having composed so brilliant a -work as Rienzi for Dresden without having specifically reserved the -principal part for her. Yet the magnanimity of her disposition -triumphed even over this selfish impulse: she loudly proclaimed me 'a -genius,' and honoured me with that special confidence which, she said, -none but a genius should enjoy. But when she invited me to become both -the accomplice and adviser in her really dreadful love affairs, this -confidence certainly began to have its risky side; nevertheless there -were at first occasions on which she openly proclaimed herself before -all the world as my friend, making most flattering distinctions in my -favour. - -First of all I had to accompany her on a trip to Leipzig, where she was -giving a concert for her mother's benefit, which she thought to make -particularly attractive by including in its programme two selections -from Rienzi--the aria of Adriano and the hero's prayer (the latter sung -by Tichatschek), and both under my personal conductorship. Mendelssohn, -who was also on very friendly terms with her, had been enticed to this -concert too, and produced his overture to Ruy Blas, then quite new. It -was during the two busy days spent on this occasion in Leipzig that I -first came into close contact with him, all my previous knowledge of -him having been limited to a few rare and altogether profitless visits. -At the house of my brother-in-law, Fritz Brockhaus, he and Devrient -gave us a good deal of music, he playing her accompaniment to a number -of Schubert's songs. I here became conscious of the peculiar unrest and -excitement with which this master of music, who, though still young, -had already reached the zenith of his fame and life's work, observed or -rather watched me. I could see clearly that he thought but little of a -success in opera, and that merely in Dresden. Doubtless I seemed in his -eyes one of a class of musicians to whom he attached no value, and with -whom he proposed to have no intercourse. Nevertheless my success had -certain characteristic features, which gave it a more or less alarming -aspect. Mendelssohn's most ardent desire for a long time past had been -to write a successful opera, and it was possible he now felt annoyed -that, before he had succeeded in doing so, a triumph of this nature -should suddenly be thrust into his face with blunt brutality, and based -upon a style of music which he might feel justified in regarding as -poor. He probably found it no less exasperating that Devrient, whose -gifts he acknowledged, and who was his own devoted admirer, should now -so openly and loudly sound my praises. These thoughts were dimly -shaping themselves in my mind, when Mendelssohn, by a very remarkable -statement, drove me, almost with violence, to adopt this -interpretation. On our way home together, after the joint concert -rehearsal, I was talking very warmly on the subject of music. Although -by no means a talkative man, he suddenly interrupted me with curiously -hasty excitement by the assertion that music had but one great fault, -namely, that more than any other art it stimulated not only our good, -but also our evil qualities, such, for instance, as jealousy. I blushed -with shame to have to apply this speech to his own feelings towards me; -for I was profoundly conscious of my innocence of ever having dreamed, -even in the remotest degree, of placing my own talents or performances -as a musician in comparison with his. Yet, strange to say, at this very -concert he showed himself in a light by no means calculated to place -him beyond all possibility of comparison with myself. A rendering of -his Hebrides Overture would have placed him so immeasurably above my -two operatic airs, that all shyness at having to stand beside him would -have been spared me, as the gulf between our two productions was -impassable. But in his choice of the Ruy Blas Overture he appears to -have been prompted by a desire to place himself on this occasion so -close to the operatic style that its effectiveness might be reflected -upon his own work. The overture was evidently calculated for a Parisian -audience, and the astonishment Mendelssohn caused by appearing in such -a connection was shown by Robert Schumann in his own ungainly fashion -at its close. Approaching the musician in the orchestra, he blandly, -and with a genial smile, expressed his admiration of the 'brilliant -orchestral piece' just played.. - -But in the interests of veracity let me not forget that neither he nor -I scored the real success of that evening. We were both wholly eclipsed -by the tremendous effect produced by the grey-haired Sophie Schroder in -a recitation of Burger's Lenore. While the daughter had been taunted in -the newspapers with unfairly employing all sorts of musical attractions -to cozen a benefit concert out of the music lovers of Leipzig for a -mother who never had anything to do with that art, we, who were there -as her musical aiders and abettors, had to stand like so many idle -conjurers, while this aged and almost toothless dame declaimed Burger's -poem with truly terrifying beauty and grandeur. This episode, like so -much else that I saw during these few days, gave me abundant food for -thought and meditation. - -A second excursion, also undertaken with Devrient, took me in the -December of that year to Berlin, where the singer had been invited to -appear at a grand state concert. I for my part wanted an interview with -Director Kustner about the Fliegender Hollander. Although I arrived at -no definite result regarding my own personal business, this short visit -to Berlin was memorable for my meeting with Franz Liszt, which -afterwards proved of great importance. It took place under singular -circumstances, which placed both him and me in a situation of peculiar -embarrassment, brought about in the most wanton fashion by Devrient's -exasperating caprice. - -I had already told my patroness the story of my earlier meeting with -Liszt. During that fateful second winter of my stay in Paris, when I -had at last been driven to be grateful for Schlesinger's hack-work, I -one day received word from Laube, who always bore me in mind, that F. -Liszt was coming to Paris. He had mentioned and recommended me to him -when he was in Germany, and advised me to lose no time in looking him -up, as he was 'generous,' and would certainly find means of helping me. -As soon as I heard that he had really arrived, I presented myself at -the hotel to see him. It was early in the morning. On my entrance I -found several strange gentlemen waiting in the drawing-room, where, -after some time, we were joined by Liszt himself, pleasant and affable, -and wearing his indoor coat. The conversation was carried on in French, -and turned upon his experiences during his last professional journey in -Hungary. As I was unable to take part, on account of the language, I -listened for some time, feeling heartily bored, until at last he asked -me pleasantly what he could do for me. He seemed unable to recall -Laube's recommendation, and all the answer I could give was that I -desired to make his acquaintance. To this he had evidently no -objection, and informed me he would take care to have a ticket sent me -for his great matinee, which was to take place shortly. My sole attempt -to introduce an artistic theme of conversation was a question as to -whether he knew Lowe's Erlkonig as well as Schubert's. His reply in the -negative frustrated this somewhat awkward attempt, and I ended my visit -by giving him my address. Thither his secretary, Belloni, presently -sent me, with a few polite words, a card of admission to a concert to -be given entirely by the master himself in the Salle Erard. I duly -wended my way to the overcrowded hall, and beheld the platform on which -the grand piano stood, closely beleaguered by the cream of Parisian -female society, and witnessed their enthusiastic ovations of this -virtuoso, who was at that time the wonder of the world. Moreover, I -heard several of his most brilliant pieces, such as 'Variations on -Robert le Diable,' but carried away with me no real impression beyond -that of being stunned. This took place just at the time when I -abandoned a path which had been contrary to my truer nature, and had -led me astray, and on which I now emphatically turned my back in silent -bitterness. I was therefore in no fitting mood for a just appreciation -of this prodigy, who at that time was shining in the blazing light of -day, but from whom I had turned my face to the night. I went to see -Liszt no more. - -As already mentioned, I had given Devrient a bare outline of this -story, but she had noted it with particular attention, for I happened -to have touched her weak point of professional jealousy. As Liszt had -also been commanded by the King of Prussia to appear at the grand state -concert at Berlin, it so happened that the first time they met Liszt -questioned her with great interest about the success of Rienzi. She -thereupon observed that the composer of that opera was an altogether -unknown man, and proceeded with curious malice to taunt him with his -apparent lack of penetration, as proved by the fact that the said -composer, who now so keenly excited his interest, was the very same -poor musician whom he had lately 'turned away so contemptuously' in -Paris. All this she told me with an air of triumph, which distressed me -very much, and I at once set to work to correct the false impression -conveyed by my former account. As we were still debating this point in -her room, we were startled by hearing from the next the famous bass -part in the 'Revenge' air from Donna Anna, rapidly executed in octaves -on the piano. 'That's Liszt himself,' she cried. Liszt then entered the -room to fetch her for the rehearsal. To my great embarrassment she -introduced me to him with malicious delight as the composer of Rienzi, -the man whose acquaintance he now wished to make after having -previously shown him the door in his glorious Paris. My solemn -asseverations that my patroness--no doubt only in fun--was deliberately -distorting my account of my former visit to him, apparently pacified -him so far as I was concerned, and, on the other hand, he had no doubt -already formed his own opinion of the impulsive singer. He certainly -regretted that he could not remember my visit in Paris, but it -nevertheless shocked and alarmed him to learn that any one should have -had reason to complain of such treatment at his hands. The hearty -sincerity of Listz's simple words to me about this misunderstanding, as -contrasted with the strangely passionate raillery of the incorrigible -lady, made a most pleasing and captivating impression upon me. The -whole bearing of the man, and the way in which he tried to ward off the -pitiless scorn of her attacks, was something new to me, and gave me a -deep insight into his character, so firm in its amiability and -boundless good-nature. Finally, she teased him about the Doctor's -degree which had just been conferred on him by the University of -Konigsberg, and pretended to mistake him for a chemist. At last he -stretched himself out flat on the floor, and implored her mercy, -declaring himself quite defenceless against the storm of her invective. -Then turning to me with a hearty assurance that he would make it his -business to hear Rienzi, and would in any case endeavour to give me a -better opinion of himself than his evil star had hitherto permitted, we -parted for that occasion. - -The almost naive simplicity and naturalness of his every phrase and -word, and particularly his emphatic manner, left a most profound -impression upon me. No one could fail to be equally affected by these -qualities, and I now realised for the first time the almost magic power -exerted by Liszt over all who came in close contact with him, and saw -how erroneous had been my former opinion as to its cause. - -These two excursions to Leipzig and Berlin found but brief -interruptions of the period devoted at home to our study of the -Fliegender Hollander. It was therefore, of paramount importance to me -to maintain Schroder-Devrient's keen interest in her part, since, in -view of the weakness of the rest of the cast, I was convinced that it -was from her alone I could expect any adequate interpretation of the -spirit of my work. - -The part of Senta was essentially suited to her, and there were just at -that moment peculiar circumstances in her life which brought her -naturally emotional temperament to a high pitch of tension. I was -amazed when she confided to me that she was on the point of breaking -off a regular liaison of many years' standing, to form, in passionate -haste, another much less desirable one. The forsaken lover, who was -tenderly devoted to her, was a young lieutenant in the Royal Guards, -and the son of Muller, the ex-Minister of Education; her new choice, -whose acquaintance she had formed on a recent visit to Berlin, was Herr -von Munchhausen. He was a tall, slim young man, and her predilection -for him was easily explained when I became more closely acquainted with -her love affairs. It seemed to me that the bestowal of her confidence -on me in this matter arose from her guilty conscience; she was aware -that Muller, whom I liked on account of his excellent disposition, had -loved her with the earnestness of a first love, and also that she was -now betraying him in the most faithless way on a trivial pretext. She -must have known that her new lover was entirely unworthy of her, and -that his intentions were frivolous and selfish. She knew, too, that no -one, and certainly none of her older friends who knew her best, would -approve of her behaviour. She told me candidly that she had felt -impelled to confide in me because I was a genius, and would understand -the demands of her temperament. I hardly knew what to think. I was -repelled alike by her passion and the circumstances attending it; but -to my astonishment I had to confess that the infatuation, so repulsive -to me, held this strange woman in so powerful a grasp that I could not -refuse her a certain amount of pity, nay, even real sympathy. - -She was pale and distraught, ate hardly anything, and her faculties -were subjected to a strain so extraordinary that I thought she would -not escape a serious, perhaps a fatal illness. Sleep had long since -deserted her, and whenever I brought her my unlucky Fliegender -Hollander, her looks so alarmed me that the proposed rehearsal was the -last thing I thought of. But in this matter she insisted; she made me -sit down at the piano, and then plunged into the study of her role as -if it were a matter of life and death. She found the actual learning of -the part very difficult, and it was only by repeated and persevering -rehearsal that she mastered her task. She would sing for hours at a -time with such passion that I often sprang up in terror and begged her -to spare herself; then she would point smiling to her chest, and expand -the muscles of her still magnificent person, to assure me that she was -doing herself no harm. Her voice really acquired at that time a -youthful freshness and power of endurance. I had to confess that which -often astonished me: this infatuation for an insipid nobody was very -much to the advantage of my Senta. Her courage under this intense -strain was so great that, as time pressed, she consented to have the -general rehearsal on the very day of the first performance, and a delay -which would have been greatly to my disadvantage was thus avoided. - -The performance took place on 2nd January, in the year 1843. Its result -was extremely instructive to me, and led to the turning-point of my -career. The ill-success of the performance taught me how much care and -forethought were essential to secure the adequate dramatic -interpretation of my latest works. I realised that I had more or less -believed that my score would explain itself, and that my singers would -arrive at the right interpretation of their own accord. My good old -friend Wachter, who at the time of Henriette Sontag's first success was -a favourite 'Barber of Seville,' had from the first discreetly thought -otherwise. Unfortunately, even Schroder-Devrient only saw when the -rehearsals were too far advanced how utterly incapable Wachter was of -realising the horror and supreme suffering of my Mariner. His -distressing corpulence, his broad fat face, the extraordinary movements -of his arms and legs, which he managed to make look like mere stumps, -drove my passionate Senta to despair. At one rehearsal, when in the -great scene in Act ii. she comes to him in the guise of a guardian -angel to bring the message of salvation, she broke off to whisper -despairingly in my ear, 'How can I say it when I look into those beady -eyes? Good God, Wagner, what a muddle you have made!' I consoled her as -well as I could, and secretly placed my dependence on Herr von -Munchhausen, who promised faithfully to sit that evening in the front -row of the stalls, so that Devrient's eyes must fall on him. And the -magnificent performance of my great artiste, although she stood -horribly alone on the stage, did succeed in rousing enthusiasm in the -second act. The first act offered the audience nothing but a dull -conversation between Herr Wachter and that Herr Risse who had invited -me to an excellent glass of wine on the first night of Rienzi, and in -the third the loudest raging of the orchestra did not rouse the sea -from its dead calm nor the phantom ship in its cautious rocking. The -audience fell to wondering how I could have produced this crude, -meagre, and gloomy work after Rienzi, in every act of which incident -abounded, and Tichatschek shone in an endless variety of costumes. - -As Schroder-Devrient soon left Dresden for a considerable time, the -Fliegender Hollander saw only four performances, at which the -diminishing audiences made it plain that I had not pleased Dresden -taste with it. The management was compelled to revive Rienzi in order -to maintain my prestige; and the triumph of this opera compared with -the failure of the Dutchman gave me food for reflection. I had to -admit, with some misgivings, that the success of my Rienzi was not -entirely due to the cast and staging, although I was fully alive to the -defects from which the Fliegender Hollander suffered in this respect. -Although Wachter was far from realising my conception of the Fliegender -Hollander I could not conceal from myself the fact that Tichatschek was -quite as far removed from the ideal Rienzi. His abominable errors and -deficiencies in his presentation of the part had never escaped me; he -had never been able to lay aside his brilliant and heroic leading-tenor -manners in order to render that gloomy demonic strain in Rienzi's -temperament on which I had laid unmistakable stress at the critical -points of the drama. In the fourth act, after the pronouncement of the -curse, he fell on his knees in the most melancholy fashion and -abandoned himself to bewailing his fate in piteous tones. When I -suggested to him that Rienzi, though inwardly despairing, must take up -an attitude of statuesque firmness before the world, he pointed out to -me the great popularity which the end of this very act had won as -interpreted by himself, with an intimation that he intended making no -change in it. - -And when I considered the real causes of the success of Rienzi, I found -that it rested on the brilliant and extraordinarily fresh voice of the -soaring, happy singer, in the refreshing effect of the chorus and the -gay movement and colouring on the stage. I received a still more -convincing proof of this when we divided the opera into two, and found -that the second part, which was the more important from both the -dramatic and the musical point of view, was noticeably less well -attended than the first, for the very obvious reason, as I thought, -that the ballet occurred in the first part. My brother Julius, who had -come over from Leipzig for one of the performances of Rienzi, gave me a -still more naive testimony as to the real point of interest in the -opera. I was sitting with him in an open box, in full sight of the -audience, and had therefore begged him to desist from giving any -applause, even if directed only to the efforts of the singers; he -restrained himself all through the evening, but his enthusiasm at a -certain figure of the ballet was too much for him, and he clapped -loudly, to the great amusement of the audience, telling me that he -could not hold himself in any longer. Curiously enough, this same -ballet secured for Rienzi, which was otherwise received with -indifference, the enduring preference of the present King of Prussia, -[FOOTNOTE: William the First.]who many years afterwards ordered the -revival of this opera, although it had utterly failed in arousing -public interest by its merits as a drama. - -I found, when I had to be present later on at a representation of the -same opera at Darmstadt, that while wholesale cuts had to be made in -its best parts, it had been found necessary to expand the ballets by -additions and repetitions. This ballet music, which I had put together -with contemptuous haste at Riga in a few days without any inspiration, -seemed to me, moreover, so strikingly weak that I was thoroughly -ashamed of it even in those days at Dresden, when I had found myself -compelled to suppress its best feature, the tragic pantomime. Further, -the resources of the ballet in Dresden did not even admit of the -execution of my stage directions for the combat in the arena, nor for -the very significant round dances, both admirably carried out at a -later date in Berlin. I had to be content with the humiliating -substitution of a long, foolish step-dance by two insignificant -dancers, which was ended by a company of soldiers marching on, bearing -their shields on high so as to form a roof and remind the audience of -the Roman testudo; then the ballet-master with his assistant, in -flesh-coloured tights, leaped on to the shields and turned somersaults, -a proceeding which they thought was reminiscent of the gladiatorial -games. It was at this point that the house was always moved to -resounding applause, and I had to own that this moment marked the -climax of my success. - -I thus had my doubts as to the intrinsic divergence between my inner -aims and my outward success; at the same time a decisive and fatal -change in my fortunes was brought about by my acceptance of the -conductorship at Dresden, under circumstances as perplexing in their -way as those preceding my marriage. I had met the negotiations which -led up to this appointment with a hesitation and a coolness by no means -affected. I felt nothing but scorn for theatrical life; a scorn that -was by no means lessened by a closer acquaintance with the apparently -distinguished ruling body of a court theatre, the splendours of which -only conceal, with arrogant ignorance, the humiliating conditions -appertaining to it and to the modern theatre in general. I saw every -noble impulse stifled in those occupied with theatrical matters, and a -combination of the vainest and most frivolous interests maintained by a -ridiculously rigid and bureaucratic system; I was now fully convinced -that the necessity of handling the business of the theatre would be the -most distasteful thing I could imagine. Now that, through Rastrelli's -death, the temptation to be false to my inner conviction came to me in -Dresden, I explained to my old and trusted friends that I did not think -I should accept the vacant post. - -But everything calculated to shake human resolution combined against -this decision. The prospect of securing the means of livelihood through -a permanent position with a fixed salary was an irresistible -attraction. I combated the temptation by reminding myself of my success -as an operatic composer, which might reasonably be expected to bring in -enough to supply my moderate requirements in a lodging of two rooms, -where I could proceed undisturbed with fresh compositions. I was told -in answer to this that my work itself would be better served by a fixed -position without arduous duties, as for a whole year since the -completion of the Fliegender Hollander I had not, under existing -circumstances, found any leisure at all for composition. I still -remained convinced that Rastrelli's post of musical director, in -subordination to the conductor, was unworthy of me, and I declined to -entertain the proposal, thus leaving the management to look elsewhere -for some one to fill the vacancy. - -There was therefore no further question of this particular post, but I -was then informed that the death of Morlacchi had left vacant a court -conductorship, and it was thought that the King would be willing to -offer me the post. My wife was very much excited at this prospect, for -in Germany the greatest value is laid on these court appointments, -which are tenable for life, and the dazzling respectability pertaining -to them is held out to German musicians as the acme of earthly -happiness. The offer opened up for us in many directions the prospect -of friendly relations in a society which had hitherto been outside our -experience. Domestic comfort and social prestige were very alluring to -the homeless wanderers who, in bygone days of misery, had often longed -for the comfort and security of an assured and permanent position such -as was now open to them under the august protection of the court. The -influence of Caroline von Weber did much in the long-run to weaken my -opposition. I was often at her house, and took great pleasure in her -society, which brought back to my mind very vividly the personality of -my still dearly beloved master. She begged me with really touching -tenderness not to withstand this obvious command of fate, and asserted -her right to ask me to settle in Dresden, to fill the place left sadly -empty by her husband's death. 'Just think,' she said, 'how can I look -Weber in the face again when I join him if I have to tell him that the -work for which he made such devoted sacrifices in Dresden is neglected; -just imagine my feelings when I see that indolent Reissiger stand in my -noble Weber's place, and when I hear his operas produced more -mechanically every year. If you loved Weber, you owe it to his memory -to step into his place and to continue his work.' As an experienced -woman of the world she also pointed out energetically and prudently the -practical side of the matter, impressing on me the duty of thinking of -my wife, who would, in case of my death, be sufficiently provided for -if I accepted the post. - -The promptings of affection, prudence and good sense, however, had less -weight with me than the enthusiastic conviction, never at any period of -my life entirely destroyed, that wherever fate led me, whether to -Dresden or elsewhere, I should find the opportunity which would convert -my dreams into reality through currents set in motion by some change in -the everyday order of events. All that was needed for this was the -advent of an ardent and aspiring soul who, with good luck to back him, -might make up for lost time, and by his ennobling influence achieve the -deliverance of art from her shameful bonds. The wonderful and rapid -change which had taken place in my fortunes could not fail to encourage -such a hope, and I was seduced on perceiving the marked alteration that -had taken place in the whole attitude of Luttichau, the general -director, towards me. This strange individual showed me a kindliness of -which no one would hitherto have thought him capable, and that he was -prompted by a genuine feeling of personal benevolence towards me I -could not help being absolutely convinced, even at the time of my -subsequent ceaseless differences with him. - -Nevertheless, the decision came as a kind of surprise. On 2nd February -1843 I was very politely invited to the director's office, and there -met the general staff of the royal orchestra, in whose presence -Luttichau, through the medium of my never-to-be-forgotten friend -Winkler, solemnly read out to me a royal rescript appointing me -forthwith conductor to his Majesty, with a life salary of four thousand -five hundred marks a year. Luttichau followed the reading of this -document by a more or less ceremonious speech, in which he assumed that -I should gratefully accept the King's favour. At this polite ceremony -it did not escape my notice that all possibility of future negotiations -over the figure of the salary was cut off; on the other hand, a -substantial exemption in my favour, the omission of the condition, -enforced even on Weber in his time, of serving a year's probation under -the title of mere musical director, was calculated to secure my -unconditional acceptance. My new colleagues congratulated me, and -Luttichau accompanied me with the politest phrases to my own door, -where I fell into the arms of my poor wife, who was giddy with delight. -Therefore I fully realised that I must put the best face I could on the -matter, and unless I wished to give unheard-of offence, I must even -congratulate myself on my appointment as royal conductor. - -A few days after taking the oath as a servant of the King in solemn -session, and undergoing the ceremony of presentation to the assembled -orchestra by means of an enthusiastic speech from the general director, -I was summoned to an audience with his Majesty. When I saw the features -of the kind, courteous, and homely monarch, I involuntarily thought of -my youthful attempt at a political overture on the theme of Friedrich -und Freiheit. Our somewhat embarrassed conversation brightened with the -King's expression of his satisfaction with those two of my operas which -had been performed in Dresden. He expressed with polite hesitation his -feeling that if my operas left anything to be desired, it was a clearer -definition of the various characters in my musical dramas. He thought -the interest in the persons was overpowered by the elemental forces -figuring beside them--in Hienzi the mob, in the Fliegender Hollander -the sea. I thought I understood his meaning perfectly, and this proof -of his sincere sympathy and original judgment pleased me very much. He -also made his excuses in advance for a possible rare attendance at my -operas on his part, his sole reason for this being that he had a -peculiar aversion from theatre-going, as the result of one of the rules -of his early training, under which he and his brother John, who had -acquired a similar aversion, were for a long time compelled regularly -to attend the theatre, when he, to tell the truth, would often have -preferred to be left alone to follow his own pursuits independent of -etiquette. - -As a characteristic instance of the courtier spirit, I afterwards -learned that Luttichau, who had had to wait for me in the anteroom -during this audience, had been very much put out by its long duration. -In the whole course of my life I was only admitted twice more to -personal intercourse and speech with the good King. The first occasion -was when I presented him with the dedication copy of the pianoforte -score of my Rienzi; and the second was after my very successful -arrangement and performance of the Iphigenia in Aulis, by Gluck, of -whose operas he was particularly fond, when he stopped me in the public -promenade and congratulated me on my work. - -That first audience with the King marked the zenith of my hastily -adopted career at Dresden; thenceforward anxiety reasserted itself in -manifold ways. I very quickly realised the difficulties of my material -situation, since it soon became evident that the advantage won by new -exertions and my present appointment bore no proportion to the heavy -sacrifices and obligations which I incurred as soon as I entered on an -independent career. The young musical director of Riga, long since -forgotten, suddenly reappeared in an astonishing reincarnation as royal -conductor to the King of Saxony. The first-fruits of the universal -estimate of my good fortune took the shape of pressing creditors and -threats of prosecution; next followed demands from the Konigsberg -tradesmen, from whom I had escaped from Riga by means of that horribly -wretched and miserable flight. I also heard from people in the most -distant parts, who thought they had some claim on me, dating even from -my student, nay, my school days, until at last I cried out in my -astonishment that I expected to receive a bill next from the nurse who -had suckled me. All this did not amount to any very large sum, and I -merely mention it because of the ill-natured rumours which, I learned -years later, had been spread abroad about the extent of my debts at -that time. Out of three thousand marks, borrowed at interest from -Schroder-Devrient, I not only paid these debts, but also fully -compensated the sacrifices which Kietz had made on my behalf, without -ever expecting any return, in the days of my poverty in Paris. I was, -moreover, able to be of practical use to him. But where was I to find -even this sum, as my distress had hitherto been so great that I was -obliged to urge Schroder-Devrient to hurry on the rehearsals of the -Fliegender Hollander by pointing out to her the enormous importance to -me of the fee for the performance? I had no allowance for the expenses -of my establishment in Dresden, though it had to be suitable for my -position as royal conductor, nor even for the purchase of a ridiculous -and expensive court uniform, so that there would have been no -possibility of my making a start at all, as I had no private means, -unless I borrowed money at interest. - -But no one who knew of the extraordinary success of Rienzi at Dresden -could help believing in an immediate and remunerative rage for my -operas on the German stage. My own relatives, even the prudent Ottilie, -were so convinced of it that they thought I might safely count on at -least doubling my salary by the receipts from my operas. At the very -beginning the prospects did indeed seem bright; the score of my -Fliegender Hollander was ordered by the Royal Theatre at Cassel and by -the Riga theatre, which I had known so well in the old days, because -they were anxious to perform something of mine at an early date, and -had heard that this opera was on a smaller scale, and made smaller -demands on the stage management, than Rienzi. In May, 1843 I heard good -reports of the success of the performances from both those places. But -this was all for the time being, and a whole year went by without the -smallest inquiry for any of my scores. An attempt was made to secure me -some benefit by the publication of the pianoforte score of the -Fliegender Hollander, as I wanted to reserve Rienzi, after the -successes it had gained, as useful capital for a more favourable -opportunity; but the plan was spoilt by the opposition of Messrs. -Hartel of Leipzig, who, although ready enough to publish my opera, -would only do so on the condition that I abstained from asking any -payment for it. - -So I had, for the present, to content myself with the moral -satisfaction of my successes, of which my unmistakable popularity with -the Dresden public, and the respect and attention paid to me, formed -part. But even in this respect my Utopian dreams were destined to be -disturbed. I think that my appearance at Dresden marked the beginning -of a new era in journalism and criticism, which found food for its -hitherto but slightly developed vitality in its vexation at my success. -The two gentlemen I have already mentioned, C. Bank and J. Schladebach, -had, as I now know, first taken up their regular abode in Dresden at -that time; I know that when difficulties were raised about the -permanence of Bank's appointment, they were waived, owing to the -testimonials and recommendation of my present colleague Reissiger. The -success of my Rienzi had been the source of great annoyance to these -gentlemen, who were now established as musical critics to the Dresden -press, because I made no effort to win their favour; they were not -ill-pleased, therefore, to find an opportunity of pouring out the -vitriol of their hatred over the universally popular young musician who -had won the sympathy of the kindly public, partly on account of the -poverty and ill-luck which had hitherto been his lot. The need for any -kind of human consideration had suddenly vanished with my 'unheard-of' -appointment to the royal conductorship. Now 'all was well with me,' -'too well,' in fact; and envy found its congenial food; this provided a -perfectly clear and comprehensible point of attack; and soon there -spread through the German press, in the columns given to Dresden news, -an estimate of me which has never fundamentally changed, except in one -point, to this day. This single modification, which was purely -temporary and confined to papers of one political colour, occurred on -my first settlement as a political refugee in Switzerland, but lasted -only until, through Liszt's exertions, my operas began to be produced -all over Germany, in spite of my exile. The orders from two theatres, -immediately after the Dresden performance, for one of my scores, were -merely due to the fact that up to that time the activity of my -journalistic critics was still limited. I put down the cessation of all -inquiries, certainly not without due justification, mainly to the -effect of the false and calumnious reports in the papers. - -My old friend Laube tried, indeed, to undertake my defence in the -press. On New Year's Day, 1843 he resumed the editorship of the Zeitung -fur die Elegante Welt, and asked me to provide him with a biographical -notice of myself for the first number. It evidently gave him great -pleasure to present me thus in triumph to the literary world, and in -order to give the subject more prominence he added a supplement to that -number in the shape of a lithograph reproduction of my portrait by -Kietz. But after a time even he became anxious and confused in his -judgment of my works, when he saw the systematic and increasingly -virulent detraction, depreciation, and scorn to which they were -subjected. He confessed to me later that he had never imagined such a -desperate position as mine against the united forces of journalism -could possibly exist, and when he heard my view of the question, he -smiled and gave me his blessing, as though I were a lost soul. - -Moreover, a change was observable in the attitude of those immediately -connected with me in my work, and this provided very acceptable -material for the journalistic campaign. I had been led, though by no -ambitious impulse, to ask to be allowed to conduct the performances of -my own works. I found that at every performance of Rienzi Reissiger -became more negligent in his conducting, and that the whole production -was slipping back into the old familiar, expressionless, and humdrum -performance; and as my appointment was already mooted, I had asked -permission to conduct the sixth performance of my work in person. I -conducted without having held a single rehearsal, and without any -previous experience, at the head of the Dresden orchestra. The -performance went splendidly; singers and orchestra were inspired with -new life, and everybody was obliged to admit that this was the finest -performance of Rienzi that had yet been given. The rehearsing and -con-ducting of the Fliegender Hollander were willingly handed over to -me, because Reissiger was overwhelmed with work, in consequence of the -death of the musical director, Rastrelli. In addition to this I was -asked to conduct Weber's Euryanthe, by way of providing a direct proof -of my capacity to interpret scores other than my own. Apparently -everybody was pleased, and it was the tone of this performance that -made Weber's widow so anxious that I should accept the Dresden -conductorship; she declared that for the first time since her husband's -death she had heard his work correctly interpreted, both in expression -and time. - -Thereupon, Reissiger, who would have preferred to have a musical -director under him, but had received instead a colleague on an equal -footing, felt himself aggrieved by my appointment. Though his own -indolence would have inclined him to the side of peace and a good -understanding with me, his ambitious wife took care to stir up his fear -of me. This never led to an openly hostile attitude on his part, but I -noticed certain indiscretions in the press from that time onwards, -which showed me that the friendliness of my colleague, who never talked -to me without first embracing me, was not of the most honourable type. - -I also received a quite unexpected proof that I had attracted the -bitter envy of another man whose sentiments I had no reason to suspect. -This was Karl Lipinsky, a celebrated violinist in his day, who had for -many years led the Dresden orchestra. He was a man of ardent -temperament and original talent, but of incredible vanity, which his -emotional, suspicious Polish temperament rendered dangerous. I always -found him annoying, because however inspiring and instructive his -playing was as to the technical execution of the violinists, he was -certainly ill-fitted to be the leader of a first-class orchestra. This -extraordinary person tried to justify Director Luttichau's praise of -his playing, which could always be heard above the rest of the -orchestra; he came in a little before the other violins; he was a -leader in a double sense, as he was always a little ahead. He acted in -much the same way with regard to expression, marking his slight -variations in the piano passages with fanatical precision. It was -useless to talk to him about it, as nothing but the most skilful -flattery had any effect on him. So I had to endure it as best I could, -and to think out ways and means of diminishing its ill effects on the -orchestral performances as a whole by having recourse to the most -polite circumlocutions. Even so he could not endure the higher -estimation in which the performances of the orchestra under my -conductorship were held, because he thought that the playing of an -orchestra in which he was the leader must invariably be excellent, -whoever stood at the conductor's desk. Now it happened, as is always -the case when a new man with fresh ideas is installed in office, that -the members of the orchestra came to me with the most varied -suggestions for improvements which had hitherto been neglected; and -Lipinsky, who was already annoyed about this, turned a certain case of -this kind to a peculiarly treacherous use. One of the oldest -contrabassists had died. Lipinsky urged me to arrange that the post -should not be filled in the usual way by promotion from the ranks of -our own orchestra, but should be given, on his recommendation, to a -distinguished and skilful contrabassist from Darmstadt named Muller. -When the musician whose rights of seniority were thus threatened, -appealed to me, I kept my promise to Lipinsky, explained my views about -the abuses of promotion by seniority, and declared that, in accordance -with my sworn oath to the King, I held it my paramount duty to consider -the maintenance of the artistic interests of the institution before -everything else. I then found to my great astonishment, though it was -foolish of me to be surprised, that the whole of the orchestra turned -upon me as one man, and when the occasion arose for a discussion -between Lipinsky and myself as to his own numerous grievances, he -actually accused me of having threatened, by my remarks in the -contrabassist case, to undermine the well-established rights of the -members of the orchestra, whose welfare it was my duty to protect. -Luttichau, who was on the point of absenting himself from Dresden for -some time, was extremely uneasy, as Reissiger was away on his holiday, -at leaving musical affairs in such a dangerous state of unrest. The -deceit and impudence of which I had been the victim was a revelation to -me, and I gathered from this experience the calm sense necessary to set -the harassed director at ease by the most conclusive assurances that I -understood the people with whom I had to deal, and would act -accordingly. I faithfully kept my word, and never again came into -collision either with Lipinsky or any other member of the orchestra. On -the contrary, all the musicians were soon so firmly attached to me that -I could always pride myself on their devotion. - -From that day forward, however, one thing at least was certain, namely, -that I should not die as conductor at Dresden. My post and my work at -Dresden thenceforward became a burden, of which the occasionally -excellent results of my efforts made me all the more sensible. - -My position at Dresden, however, brought me one friend whose intimate -relations with me long survived our artistic collaboration in Dresden. -A musical director was assigned to each conductor; he had to be a -musician of repute, a hard worker, adaptable, and, above all, a -Catholic, for the two conductors were Protestants, a cause of much -annoyance to the clergy of the Catholic cathedral, numerous positions -in which had to be filled from the orchestra. August Rockel, a nephew -of Hummel, who sent in his application for this position from Weimar, -furnished evidence of his suitability under all these heads. He -belonged to an old Bavarian family; his father was a singer, and had -sung the part of Florestan at the time of the first production of -Beethoven's Fidelio, and had himself remained on terms on close -intimacy with the Master, many details about whose life have been -preserved through his care. His subsequent position as a teacher of -singing led him to take up theatrical management, and he introduced -German opera to the Parisians with so much success, that the credit for -the popularity of Fidelio and Der Freischutz with French audiences, to -whom these works were quite unknown, must be awarded to his admirable -enterprise, which was also responsible for Schroder-Devrient's debut in -Paris. August Rockel, his son, who was still a young man, by helping -his father in these and similar undertakings, had gained practical -experience as a musician. As his father's business had for some time -even extended to England, August had won practical knowledge of all -sorts by contact with many men and things, and in addition had learned -French and English. But music had remained his chosen vocation, and his -great natural talent justified the highest hopes of success. He was an -excellent pianist, read scores with the utmost ease, possessed an -exceptionally fine ear, and had indeed every qualification for a -practical musician. As a composer he was actuated, not so much by a -strong impulse to create, as the desire to show what he was capable of; -the success at which he aimed was to gain the reputation of a clever -operatic composer rather than recognition as a distinguished musician, -and he hoped to obtain his end by the production of popular works. -Actuated by this modest ambition he had completed an opera, Farinelli, -for which he had also written the libretto, with no other aspiration -than that of attaining the same reputation as his brother-in-law -Lortzing. - -He brought this score to me, and begged me--it was his first visit -before he had heard one of my operas in Dresden--to play him something -from Rienzi and the Fliegender Hollander. His frank, agreeable -personality induced me to try and meet his wishes as far as I could; -and I am convinced that I soon made such a great and unexpectedly -powerful impression on him that from that moment he determined not to -bother me further with the score of his opera. It was not until we had -become more intimate and had discovered mutual personal interests, that -the desire of turning his work to account induced him to ask me to show -my practical friendship by turning my attention to his score. I made -various suggestions as to how it might be improved, but he was soon so -hopelessly disgusted with his own work that he put it absolutely aside, -and never again felt seriously moved to undertake a similar task. On -making a closer acquaintance with my completed operas and plans for new -works, he declared to me that he felt it his vocation to play the part -of spectator, to be my faithful helper and the interpreter of my new -ideas, and, as far as in him lay, to remove entirely, and at all events -to relieve me as far as possible from, all the unpleasantnesses of my -official position and of my dealings with the outside world. He wished, -he said, to avoid placing himself in the ridiculous position of -composing operas of his own while living on terms of close friendship -with me. - -Nevertheless, I tried to urge him to turn his own talent to account, -and to this end called his attention to several plots which I wished -him to work out. Among these was the idea contained in a small French -drama entitled Cromwell's Daughter, which was subsequently used as the -subject for a sentimental pastoral romance, and for the elaboration of -which I presented him with an exhaustive plan. - -But in the end all my efforts remained fruitless, and it became evident -that his productive talent was feeble. This perhaps arose partly from -his extremely needy and trying domestic circumstances, which were such -that the poor fellow wore himself out to support his wife and numerous -growing children. Indeed, he claimed my help and sympathy in quite -another fashion than by arousing my interest in his artistic -development. He was unusually clear-headed, and possessed a rare -capacity for teaching and educating himself in every branch of -knowledge and experience; he was, moreover, so genuinely true and -good-hearted that he soon became my intimate friend and comrade. He -was, and continued to be, the only person who really appreciated the -singular nature of my position towards the surrounding world, and with -whom I could fully and sincerely discuss the cares and sorrows arising -therefrom. What dreadful trials and experiences, what painful anxieties -our common fate was to bring upon us, will soon be seen. - -The earlier period of my establishment in Dresden brought me also -another devoted and lifelong friend, though his qualities were such -that he exerted a less decisive influence upon my career. This was a -young physician, named Anton Pusinelli, who lived near me. He seized -the occasion of a serenade sung in honour of my thirtieth birthday by -the Dresden Glee Club to express to me personally his hearty and -sincere attachment. We soon entered upon a quiet friendship from which -we derived a mutual benefit. He became my attentive family doctor, and -during my residence in Dresden, marked as it was by accumulating -difficulties, he had abundant opportunities of helping me. His -financial position was very good, and his ready self-sacrifice enabled -him to give me substantial succour and bound me to him by many -heartfelt obligations. - -A further development of my association with Dresden buddy was provided -by the kindly advances of Chamberlain von Konneritz's family. His wife, -Marie von Konneritz (nee Fink), was a friend of Countess Ida Hahn-Hahn, -and expressed her appreciation of my success as a composer with great -warmth, I might almost say, with enthusiasm. I was often invited to -their house, and seemed likely, through this family, to be brought into -touch with the higher aristocracy of Dresden. I merely succeeded in -touching the fringe, however, as we really had nothing in common. True, -I here made the acquaintance of Countess Rossi, the famous Sontag, by -whom, to my genuine astonishment, I was most heartily greeted, and I -thereby obtained the right of afterwards approaching her in Berlin with -a certain degree of familiarity. The curious way in which I was -disillusioned about this lady on that occasion will be related in due -course. I would only mention here that, through my earlier experiences -of the world, I had become fairly impervious to deception, and my -desire for closer acquaintance with these circles speedily gave way to -a complete hopelessness and an entire lack of ease in their sphere of -life. - -Although the Konneritz couple remained friendly during the whole of my -prolonged sojourn in Dresden, yet the connection had not the least -influence either upon my development or my position. Only once, on the -occasion of a quarrel between Luttichau and myself, the former observed -that Frau von Konneritz, by her unmeasured praises, had turned my head -and made me forget my position towards him. But in making this taunt he -forgot that, if any woman in the higher ranks of Dresden society had -exerted a real and invigorating influence upon my inward pride, that -woman was his own wife, Ida von Luttichau (nee von Knobelsdorf). - -The power which this cultured, gentle, and distinguished lady exercised -over my life was of a kind I now experienced for the first time, and -might have become of great importance had I been favoured with more -frequent and intimate intercourse. But it was less her position as wife -of the general director than her constant ill-health and my own -peculiar unwillingness to appear obtrusive, that hindered our meeting, -except at rare intervals. My recollections of her merge somewhat, in my -memory, with those of my own sister Rosalie. I remember the tender -ambition which inspired me to win the encouraging sympathy of this -sensitive woman, who was painfully wasting away amid the coarsest -surroundings. My earliest hope for the fulfilment of this ambition -arose from her appreciation of my Fliegender Hollander, in spite of the -fact that, following close upon Rienzi, it had so puzzled the Dresden -public. In this way she was the first, so to speak, who swam against -the tide and met me upon my new path. So deeply was I touched by this -conquest that, when I afterwards published the opera, I dedicated it to -her. In the account of my later years in Dresden I shall have more to -record of the warm sympathy for my new development and dearest artistic -aims for which I was indebted to her. But of real intercourse we had -none, and the character of my Dresden life was not affected by this -acquaintance, otherwise so important in itself. - -On the other hand, my theatrical acquaintances thrust themselves with -irresistible importunancy into the wide foreground of my life, and in -fact, after my brilliant successes, I was still restricted to the same -limited and familiar sphere in which I had prepared myself for these -triumphs. Indeed, the only one who joined my old friends Heine and -Gaffer Fischer was Tichatschek, with his strange domestic circle. Any -one who lived in Dresden at that time and chanced to know the court -lithographer, Furstenau, will be astonished to hear that, without -really being aware of it myself, I entered into a familiarity that was -to prove a lasting one with this man who was an intimate friend of -Tichatschek's. The importance of this singular connection may be judged -from the fact that my complete withdrawal from him coincided exactly -with the collapse of my civic position in Dresden. - -My good-humoured acceptance of election to the musical committee of the -Dresden Glee Club also brought me further chance acquaintances. This -club consisted of a limited number of young merchants and officials, -who had more taste for any kind of convivial entertainment than for -music. But it was seduously kept together by a remarkable and ambitious -man, Professor Lowe, who nursed it with special objects in view, for -the attainment of which he felt the need of an authority such as I -possessed at that time in Dresden. - -Among other aims he was particularly and chiefly concerned in arranging -for the transfer of Weber's remains from London to Dresden. As this -project was one which interested me also, I lent him my support, though -he was in reality merely following the voice of personal ambition. He -furthermore desired, as head of the Glee Club--which, by the way, from -the point of view of music was quite worthless--to invite all the male -choral unions of Saxony to a great gala performance in Dresden. A -committee was appointed for the execution of this plan, and as things -soon became pretty warm, Lowe turned it into a regular revolutionary -tribunal, over which, as the great day of triumph approached, he -presided day and night without resting, and by his furious zeal earned -from me the nickname of 'Robespierre.' - -In spite of the fact that I had been placed at the head of this -enterprise, I luckily managed to evade his terrorism, as I was fully -occupied with a great composition promised for the festival. The task -had been assigned to me of writing an important piece for male voices -only, which, if possible, should occupy half an hour. I reflected that -the tiresome monotony of male singing, which even the orchestra could -only enliven to a slight extent, can only be endured by the -introduction of dramatic themes. I therefore designed a great choral -scene, selecting the apostolic Pentecost with the outpouring of the -Holy Ghost as its subject. I completely avoided any real solos, but -worked out the whole in such a way that it should be executed by -detached choral masses according to requirement. Out of this -composition arose my Liebesmahl der Apostel ('Lovefeast of the -Apostles'), which has recently been performed in various places. - -As I was obliged at all costs to finish it within a limited time, I do -not mind including this in the list of my uninspired compositions. But -I was not displeased with it when it was done, more especially when it -was played at the rehearsals given by the Dresden choral societies -under my personal supervision. When, therefore, twelve hundred singers -from all parts of Saxony gathered around me in the Frauenkirche, where -the performance took place, I was astonished at the comparatively -feeble effect produced upon my ear by this colossal human tangle of -sounds. The conclusion at which I arrived was, that these enormous -choral undertakings are folly, and I never again felt inclined to -repeat the experiment. - -It was with much difficulty that I shook myself free of the Dresden -Glee Club, and I only succeeded in doing so by introducing to Professor -Lowe another ambitious man in the person of Herr Ferdinand Hiller. My -most glorious exploit in connection with this association was the -transfer of Weber's ashes, of which I will speak later on, though it -occurred at an earlier date. I will only refer now to another -commissioned composition which, as royal bandmaster, I was officially -commanded to produce. On the 7th of June of this year (1843) the statue -of King Frederick Augustus by Rietschl was unveiled in the Dresden -Zwinger [Footnote: This is the name by which the famous Dresden Art -Galleries are known.--Editor.] with all due pomp and ceremony. In -honour of this event I, in collaboration with Mendelssohn, was -commanded to compose a festal song, and to conduct the gala -performance. I had written a simple song for male voices of modest -design, whereas to Mendelssohn had been assigned the more complicated -task of interweaving the National Anthem (the English 'God Save the -King,' which in Saxony is called Heil Dir im Rautenkranz) into the male -chorus he had to compose. This he had effected by an artistic work in -counterpoint, so arranged that from the first eight beats of his -original melody the brass instruments simultaneously played the -Anglo-Saxon popular air. My simpler song seems to have sounded very -well from a distance, whereas I understood that Mendelssohn's daring -combination quite missed its effect, because no one could understand -why the vocalists did not sing the same air as the wind instruments -were playing. Nevertheless Mendelssohn, who was present, left me a -written expression of thanks for the pains I had taken in the -production of his composition. I also received a gold snuff-box from -the grand gala committee, presumably meant as a reward for my male -chorus, but the hunting scene which was engraved on the top was so -badly done that I found, to my surprise, that in several places the -metal was cut through. - -Amid all the distractions of this new and very different mode of life, -I diligently strove to concentrate and steel my soul against these -influences, bearing in mind my experiences of success in the past. By -May of my thirtieth year I had finished my poem Der Venusberg ('The -Mount of Venus'), as I called Tannhauser at that time. I had not yet by -any means gained any real knowledge of mediaeval poetry. The classical -side of the poetry of the Middle Ages had so far only faintly dawned -upon me, partly from my youthful recollections, and partly from the -brief acquaintance I had made with it through Lehrs' instruction in -Paris. - -Now that I was secure in the possession of a royal appointment that -would last my lifetime, the establishment of a permanent domestic -hearth began to assume great importance; for I hoped it would enable me -to take up my serious studies once more, and in such a way as to make -them productive--an aim which my theatrical life and the miseries of my -years in Paris had rendered impossible. My hope of being able to do -this was strengthened by the character of my official employment, which -was never very arduous, and in which I met with exceptional -consideration from the general management. Though I had only held my -appointment for a few months, yet I was given a holiday this first -summer, which I spent in a second visit to Toplitz, a place which I had -grown to like, and whither I had sent on my wife in advance. - -Keenly indeed did I appreciate the change in my position since the -preceding year. I could now engage four spacious and well-appointed -rooms in the same house--the Eiche at Schonau--where I had before lived -in such straitened and frugal circumstances. I invited my sister Clara -to pay us a visit, and also my good mother, whose gout necessitated her -taking the Toplitz baths every year. I also seized the opportunity of -drinking the mineral waters, which I hoped might have a beneficial -effect on the gastric troubles from which I had suffered ever since my -vicissitudes in Paris. Unfortunately the attempted cure had a contrary -effect, and when I complained of the painful irritation produced, I -learned that my constitution was not adapted for water cures. In fact, -on my morning promenade, and while drinking my water, I had been -observed to race through the shady alleys of the adjacent Thurn -Gardens, and it was pointed out to me that such a cure could only be -properly wrought by leisurely calm and easy sauntering. It was also -remarked that I usually carried about a fairly stout volume, and that, -armed with this and my bottle of mineral water, I used to take rest in -lonely places. - -This book was J. Grimm's German Mythology. All who know the work can -understand how the unusual wealth of its contents, gathered from every -side, and meant almost exclusively for the student, would react upon -me, whose mind was everywhere seeking for something definite and -distinct. Formed from the scanty fragments of a perished world, of -which scarcely any monuments remained recognisable and intact, I here -found a heterogeneous building, which at first glance seemed but a -rugged rock clothed in straggling brambles. Nothing was finished, only -here and there could the slightest resemblance to an architectonic line -be traced, so that I often felt tempted to relinquish the thankless -task of trying to build from such materials. And yet I was enchained by -a wondrous magic. The baldest legend spoke to me of its ancient home, -and soon my whole imagination thrilled with images; long-lost forms for -which I had sought so eagerly shaped themselves ever more and more -clearly into realities that lived again. There rose up soon before my -mind a whole world of figures, which revealed themselves as so -strangely plastic and primitive, that, when I saw them clearly before -me and heard their voices in my heart, I could not account for the -almost tangible familiarity and assurance of their demeanour. The -effect they produced upon the inner state of my soul I can only -describe as an entire rebirth. Just as we feel a tender joy over a -child's first bright smile of recognition, so now my own eyes flashed -with rapture as I saw a world, revealed, as it were, by miracle, in -which I had hitherto moved blindly as the babe in its mother's womb. - -But the result of this reading did not at first do much to help me in -my purpose of composing part of the Tannhauser music. I had had a piano -put in my room at the Eiche, and though I smashed all its strings, -nothing satisfactory would emerge. With much pain and toil I sketched -the first outlines of my music for the Venusberg, as fortunately I -already had its theme in my mind. Meanwhile I was very much troubled by -excitability and rushes of blood to the brain. I imagined I was ill, -and lay for whole days in bed, where I read Grimm's German legends, or -tried to master the disagreeable mythology. It was quite a relief when -I hit upon the happy thought of freeing myself from the torments of my -condition by an excursion to Prague. Meanwhile I had already ascended -Mount Millischau once with my wife, and in her company I now made the -journey to Prague in an open carriage. There I stayed once more at my -favourite inn, the Black Horse, met my friend Kittl, who had now grown -fat and rotund, made various excursions, revelled in the curious -antiquities of the old city, and learned to my joy that the two lovely -friends of my youth, Jenny and Auguste Pachta, had been happily married -to members of the highest aristocracy. Thereupon, having reassured -myself that everything was in the best possible order, I returned to -Dresden and resumed my functions as musical conductor to the King of -Saxony. - -We now set to work on the preparations and furnishing of a roomy and -well-situated house in the Ostra Allee, with an outlook upon the -Zwinger. Everything was good and substantial, as is only right for a -man of thirty who is settling down at last for the whole of his life. -As I had not received any subsidy towards this outlay, I had naturally -to raise the money by loan. But I could look forward to a certain -harvest from my operatic successes in Dresden, and what was more -natural than for me to expect soon to earn more than enough? The three -most valued treasures which adorned my house were a concert grand piano -by Breitkopf and Hartel, which I had bought with much pride; a stately -writing-desk, now in possession of Otto Kummer, the chamber-music -artist; and the title-page by Cornelius for the Nibelungen, in a -handsome Gothic frame--the only object which has remained faithful to -me to the present day. But the thing which above all else made my house -seem homelike and attractive was the presence of a library, which I -procured in accordance with a systematic plan laid down by my proposed -line of study. On the failure of my Dresden career this library passed -in a curious way into the possession of Herr Heinrich Brockhaus, to -whom at that time I owed fifteen hundred marks, and who took it as -security for the amount. My wife knew nothing at the time of this -obligation, and I never afterwards succeeded in recovering this -characteristic collection from his hands. Upon its shelves old German -literature was especially well represented, and also the closely -related work of the German Middle Ages, including many a costly volume, -as, for instance, the rare old work, Romans des douze Paris. Beside -these stood many excellent historical works on the Middle Ages, as well -as on the German people in general. At the same time I made provision -for the poetical and classical literature of all times and languages. -Among these were the Italian poets, Shakespeare and the French writers, -of whose language I had a passable knowledge. All these I acquired in -the original, hoping some day to find time to master their neglected -tongues. As for the Greek and Roman classics, I had to content myself -with standard German translations. Indeed, on looking once more into my -Homer--whom I secured in the original Greek--I soon recognised that I -should be presuming on more leisure than my conductorship was likely to -leave me, if I hoped to find time for regaining my lost knowledge of -that language. Moreover, I provided most thoroughly for a study of -universal history, and to this end did not fail to equip myself with -the most voluminous works. Thus armed, I thought I could bid defiance -to all the trials which I clearly foresaw would inevitably accompany my -calling and position. In hopes, therefore, of long and peaceable -enjoyment of this hard-earned home, I entered into possession with the -best of spirits in October of this year (1843), and though my -conductor's quarters were by no means magnificent, they were stately -and substantial. - -The first leisure in my new home which I could snatch from the claims -of my profession and my favourite studies was devoted to the -composition of Tannhauser, the first act of which was completed in -January of the new year, 1844. I have no recollections of any -importance regarding my activities in Dresden during this winter. The -only memorable events were two enterprises which took me away from -home, the first to Berlin early in the year, for the production of my -Fliegender Hollander, and the other in March to Hamburg for Rienzi. - -Of these the former made the greater impression upon my mind. The -manager of the Berlin theatre, Kustner, quite took me by surprise when -he announced the first performance of the Fliegender Hollander for an -early date. - -As the opera house had been burnt down only about a year before, and -could not possibly have been rebuilt, it had not occurred to me to -remind them about the production of my opera. It had been performed in -Dresden with very poor scenic accessories, and knowing how important a -careful and artistic execution of the difficult scenery was for my -dramatic sea-scapes, I had relied implicitly on the admirable -management and staging capacities of the Berlin opera house. -Consequently I was very much annoyed that the Berlin manager should -select my opera as a stopgap to be produced at the Comedy Theatre, -which was being used as a temporary opera house. All remonstrances -proved useless, for I learned that they were not merely thinking about -rehearsing the work, but that it was already actually being rehearsed, -and would be produced in a few days. It was obvious that this -arrangement meant that my opera was to be condemned to quite a short -run in their repertoire, as it was not to be expected that they would -remount it when the new opera house was opened. On the other hand, they -tried to appease me by saying that this first production of the -Fliegender Hollander was to be associated with a special engagement of -Schroder-Devrient, which was to begin in Berlin immediately. They -naturally thought I should be delighted to see the great actress in my -own work. But this only confirmed me in the suspicion that this opera -was simply wanted as a makeshift for the duration of -Schroder-Devrient's visit. They were evidently in a dilemma with regard -to her repertoire, which consisted mainly of so-called grand -operas--such as Meyerbeer's--destined exclusively for the opera house, -and which were being specially reserved for the brilliant future of the -new building. I therefore realised beforehand that my Fliegender -Hollander was to be relegated to the category of conductor's operas, -and would meet with the usual predestined fate of such productions. The -whole treatment meted out to me and my works all pointed in the same -direction; but in consideration of the expected co-operation of -Schroder-Devrient I fought against these vexatious premonitions, and -set out for Berlin to do all I could for the success of my opera. I saw -at once that my presence was very necessary. I found the conductor's -desk occupied by a man calling himself Conductor Henning (or Henniger), -an official who had won promotion from the ranks of ordinary musicians -by an upright observance of the laws of seniority, but who knew -precious little about conducting an orchestra at all, and about my -opera had not the faintest glimmer of an idea. I took my seat at the -desk, and conducted one full rehearsal and two performances, in neither -of which, however, did Schroder-Devrient take part. Although I found -much to complain of in the weakness of the string instruments and the -consequent mean sound of the orchestra, yet I was well satisfied with -the actors both as regards their capacity and their zeal. The careful -staging, moreover, which under the supervision of the really gifted -stage manager, Blum, and with the co-operation of his skilful and -ingenious mechanics, was truly excellent, gave me a most pleasant -surprise. - -I was now very curious to learn what effect these pleasing and -encouraging preparations would have upon the Berlin public when the -full performance took place. My experiences on this point were very -curious. Apparently the only thing that interested the large audience -was to discover my weak points. During the first act the prevalent -opinion seemed to be that I belonged to the category of bores. Not a -single hand was moved, and I was afterwards informed that this was -fortunate, as the slightest attempt at applause would have been -ascribed to a paid claque, and would have been energetically opposed. -Kustner alone assured me that the composure with which, on the close of -this act, I quitted my desk and appeared before the curtain, had filled -him with wonder, considering this entire absence--lucky as it appears -to have been--of all applause. But so long as I myself felt content -with the execution, I was not disposed to let the public apathy -discourage me, knowing, as I did, that the crucial test was in the -second act. - -It lay, therefore, much nearer my heart to do all I could for the -success of this than to inquire into the reasons for this attitude on -the part of the Berlin public. And here the ice was really broken at -last. The audience seemed to abandon all idea of finding a proper niche -for me, and allowed itself to be carried away into giving vent to -applause, which at last grew into the most boisterous enthusiasm. At -the close of the act, amid a storm of shouts, I led forward my singers -on to the stage for the customary bows of thanks. As the third act was -too short to be tedious, and as the scenic effects were both new and -impressive, we could not help hoping that we had won a veritable -triumph, especially as renewed outbursts of applause marked the end of -the performance. Mendelssohn, who happened at that time to be in -Berlin, with Meyerbeer, on business relating to the general musical -conductorship, was present in a stage box during this performance. He -followed its progress with a pale face, and afterwards came and -murmured to me in a weary tone of voice, 'Well, I should think you are -satisfied now!' I met him several times during my brief stay in -Berlin., and also spent an evening with him listening to various pieces -of chamber-music. But never did another word concerning the Fliegender -Hollander pass his lips, beyond inquiries as to the second performance, -and as to whether Devrient or some one else would appear in it. I -heard, moreover, that he had responded with equal indifference to the -earnest warmth of my allusions to his own music for the Midsummer -Night's Dream, which was being frequently played at that time, and -which I had heard for the first time. The only thing he discussed with -any detail was the actor Gern, who was playing in Zettel, and who he -considered was overacting his part. - -A few days later came a second performance with the same cast. My -experiences on this evening were even more startling than on the -former. Evidently the first night had won me a few friends, who were -again present, for they began to applaud after the overture. But others -responded with hisses, and for the rest of the evening no one again -ventured to applaud. My old friend Heine had arrived in the meantime -from Dresden, sent by our own board of directors to study the scenic -arrangements of the Midsummer Night's Dream for our theatre. He was -present at this second performance, and had persuaded me to accept the -invitation from one of his Berlin relatives to have supper after the -performance in a wine-bar unter den Linden. Very weary, I followed him -to a nasty and badly lighted house, where I gulped down the wine with -hasty ill-humour to warm myself, and listened to the embarrassed -conversation of my good-natured friend and his companion, whilst I -turned over the day's papers. I now had ample leisure to read the -criticisms they contained on the first performance of my Fliegender -Hollander. A terrible spasm cut my heart as I realised the contemptible -tone and unparalleled shamelessness of their raging ignorance regarding -my own name and work. Our Berlin friend and host, a thorough -Philistine, said that he had known how things would go in the theatre -that night, after having read these criticisms in the morning. The -people of Berlin, he added, wait to hear what Rellstab and his mates -have to say, and then they know how to behave. The good fellow was -anxious to cheer me up, and ordered one wine after another. Heine -hunted up his reminiscences of our merry Rienzi times in Dresden, until -at last the pair conducted me, staggering along in an addled condition, -to my hotel. - -It was already midnight. As I was being lighted by the waiter through -its gloomy corridors to my room, a gentleman in black, with a pale -refined face, came forward and said he would like to speak to me. He -informed me that he had waited there since the close of the play, and -as he was determined to see me, had stopped till now. I excused myself -on the ground of being quite unfit for business, and added that, -although not exactly inclined to merriment, I had, as he might -perceive, somewhat foolishly drunk a little too much wine. This I said -in a stammering voice; but my strange visitor seemed only the more -unwilling to be repulsed. He accompanied me to my room, declaring that -it was all the more imperative for him to speak with me. We seated -ourselves in the cold room, by the meagre light of a single candle, and -then he began to talk. In flowing and impressive language he related -that he had been present at the performance that night of my Fliegender -Hollander, and could well conceive the humour in which the evening's -experiences had left me. For this very reason he felt that nothing -should hinder him from speaking to me that night, and telling me that -in the Fliegender Hollander I had produced an unrivalled masterpiece. -Moreover, the acquaintance he had made with this work had awakened in -him a new and unforeseen hope for the future of German art; and that it -would be a great pity if I yielded to any sense of discouragement as -the result of the unworthy reception accorded to it by the Berlin -public. My hair began to stand on end. One of Hoffmann's fantastic -creations had entered bodily into my life. I could find nothing to say, -except to inquire the name of my visitor, at which he seemed surprised, -as I had talked with him the day before at Mendelssohn's house. He said -that my conversation and manner had created such an impression upon him -there, and had filled him with such sudden regret at not having -sufficiently overcome his dislike for opera in general, to be present -at the first performance, that he had at once resolved not to miss the -second. His name, he added, was Professor Werder. That was no use to -me, I said, he must write his name down. Getting paper and ink, he did -as I desired, and we parted. I flung myself unconsciously on the bed -for a deep and invigorating sleep. Next morning I was fresh and well. I -paid a farewell call on Schroeder-Devrient, who promised me to do all -she could for the Fliegender Hollander as soon as possible, drew my fee -of a hundred ducats, and set off for home. On my way through Leipzig I -utilised my ducats for the repayment of sundry advances made me by my -relatives during the earlier and poverty-stricken period of my sojourn -in Dresden, and then continued my journey, to recuperate among my books -and meditate upon the deep impression made on me by Werder's midnight -visit. - -Before the end of this winter I received a genuine invitation to -Hamburg for the performance of Rienzi. The enterprising director, Herr -Cornet, through whom it came, confessed that he had many difficulties -to contend against in the management of his theatre, and was in need of -a great success. This, after the reception with which it had met in -Dresden, he thought he could secure by the production of Rienzi. I -accordingly betook myself thither in the month of March. The journey at -that time was not an easy one, as after Hanover one had to proceed by -mail-coach, and the crossing of the Elbe, which was full of floating -ice, was a risky business. Owing to a great fire that had recently -broken out, the town of Hamburg was in process of being rebuilt, and -there were still many wide spaces encumbered with ruins. Cold weather -and an ever-gloomy sky make my recollections of my somewhat prolonged -sojourn in this town anything but agreeable. I was tormented to such an -extent by having to rehearse with bad material, fit only for the -poorest theatrical trumpery, that, worn out and exposed to constant -colds, I spent most of my leisure time in the solitude of my inn -chamber. My earlier experiences of ill-arranged and badly managed -theatres came back to me afresh. I was particularly depressed when I -realised that I had made myself an unconscious accomplice of Director -Cornet's basest interests. His one aim was to create a sensation, which -he thought should be of great service to me also; and not only did he -put me off with a smaller fee, but even suggested that it should be -paid by gradual instalments. The dignity of scenic decoration, of which -he had not the smallest idea, was completely sacrificed to the most -ridiculous and tawdry showiness. He imagined that pageantry was all -that was really needed to secure my success. So he hunted out all the -old fairy-ballet costumes from his stock, and fancied that if they only -looked gay enough, and if plenty of people were bustling about on the -stage, I ought to be satisfied. But the most sorry item of all was the -singer he provided for the title-role. He was a man of the name of -Wurda, an elderly, flabby and voiceless tenor, who sang Rienzi with the -expression of a lover--like Elvino, for instance, in the Somnanibula. -He was so dreadful that I conceived the idea of making the Capitol -tumble down in the second act, so as to bury him sooner in its ruins, a -plan which would have cut out several of the processions, which were so -dear to the heart of the director. I found my one ray of light in a -lady singer, who delighted me with the fire with which she played the -part of Adriano. This was a Mme. Fehringer, who was afterwards engaged -by Liszt for the role of Ortrud in the production of Lohengrin at -Weimar, but by that time her powers had greatly deteriorated. Nothing -could be more depressing than my connection with this opera under such -dismal circumstances. And yet there were no outward signs of failure. -The manager hoped in any case to keep Rienzi in his repertoire until -Tichatschek was able to come to Hamburg and give the people of that -town a true idea of the play. This actually took place in the following -summer. - -My discouragement and ill-humour did not escape the notice of Herr -Cornet, and discovering that I wished to present my wife with a parrot, -he managed to procure a very fine bird, which he gave me as a parting -gift. I carried it with me in its narrow cage on my melancholy journey -home, and was touched to find that it quickly repaid my care and became -very much attached to me. Minna greeted me with great joy when she saw -this beautiful grey parrot, for she regarded it as a self-evident proof -that I should do something in life. We already had a pretty little dog, -born on the day of the first Rienzi rehearsal in Dresden, which, owing -to its passionate devotion to myself, was much petted by all who knew -me and visited my house during those years. This sociable bird, which -had no vices and was an apt scholar, now formed an addition to our -household; and the pair did much to brighten our dwelling in the -absence of children. My wife soon taught the bird snatches of songs -from Rienzi, with which it would good-naturedly greet me from a -distance when it heard me coming up the stairs. - -And thus at last my domestic hearth seemed to be established with every -possible prospect of a comfortable competency. - -No further excursions for the performance of any of my operas took -place, for the simple reason that no such performances were given. As I -saw it was quite clear that the diffusion of my works through the -theatrical world would be a very slow business, I concluded that this -was probably due to the fact that no adaptations of them for the piano -existed. I therefore thought that I should do well to press forward -such an issue at all costs, and in order to secure the expected -profits, I hit upon the idea of publishing at my own expense. I -accordingly made arrangements with F. Meser, the court music-dealer, -who had hitherto not got beyond the publication of a valse, and signed -an agreement with him for his firm to appear as the nominal publishers -on the understanding that they should receive a commission of ten per -cent, whilst I provided the necessary capital. - -As there were two operas to be issued, including Rienzi, a work of -exceptional bulk, it was not likely that these publications would prove -very profitable unless, in addition to the usual piano selections, I -also published adaptations, such as the music without words, for duet -or solo. For this a fairly large capital was necessary. I also needed -funds for the repayment of the loans already mentioned, and for the -settlement of old debts, as well as to pay off the remaining expenses -of my house-furnishing. I was therefore obliged to try and procure much -larger sums. I laid my project and its motive before Schroder-Devrient, -who had just returned to Dresden, at Easter, 1844, to fulfil a fresh -engagement. She believed in the future of my works, recognised the -peculiarity of my position, as well as the correctness of my -calculations, and declared her willingness to provide the necessary -capital for the publication of my operas, refusing to consider the act -as one involving any sacrifice on her part. This money she proposed to -get by selling out her investments in Polish state-bonds, and I was to -pay the customary rate of interest. The thing was so easily done, and -seemed so much a matter of course, that I at once made all needful -arrangements with my Leipzig printer, and set to work on the -publication of my operas. - -When the amount of work delivered brought with it a demand for -considerable payments on account, I approached my friend for a first -advance. And here I became confronted with a new phase of that famous -lady's life, which placed me in a position which proved as disastrous -as it was unexpected. After having broken away from the unlucky Herr -von Munchhausen some time previously, and returned, as it appeared, -with penitential ardour to her former connection with my friend, -Hermann Muller, it now turned out that she had found no real -satisfaction in this fresh relationship. On the contrary, the star of -her being, whom she had so long and ardently desired, had now at last -arisen in the person of another lieutenant of the Guards. With a -vehemence which made light of her treachery to her old friend, she -elected this slim young man, whose moral and intellectual weaknesses -were patent to every eye, as the chosen keystone of her life's love. He -took the good luck that befell him so seriously, that he would brook no -jesting, and at once laid hands on the fortune of his future wife, as -he considered that it was disadvantageously and insecurely invested, -and thought that he knew of much more profitable ways of employing it. -My friend therefore explained, with much pain and evident -embarrassment, that she had renounced all control over her capital, and -was unable to keep her promise to me. - -Owing to this I entered upon a series of entanglements and troubles -which henceforth dominated my life, and plunged me into sorrows that -left their dismal mark on all my subsequent enterprises. It was clear -that I could not now abandon the proposed plan of publication. The only -satisfactory solution of my perplexities was to be found in the -execution of my project and the success which I hoped would attend it. -I was compelled, therefore, to turn all my energies to the raising of -the money wherewith to publish my two operas, to which in all -probability Tannhauser would shortly have to be added. I first applied -to my friends, and in some cases had to pay exorbitant rates of -interest, even for short terms. For the present these details are -sufficient to prepare the reader for the catastrophe towards which I -was now inevitably drifting. - -The hopelessness of my position did not at first reveal itself. There -seemed no reason to despair of the eventual spread of my operatic works -among the theatres in Germany, though my experience of them indicated -that the process would be slow. In spite of the depressing experiences -in Berlin and Hamburg, there were many encouraging signs to be seen. -Above all, Rienzi maintained its position in favour of the people of -Dresden, a place which undoubtedly occupied a position of great -importance, especially during the summer months, when so many strangers -from all parts of the world pass through it. My opera, which was not to -be heard anywhere else, was in great request, both among the Germans -and other visitors, and was always received with marked approbation, -which surprised me very much. Thus a performance of Rienzi, especially -in summer, became quite a Dionysian revelry, whose effect upon me could -not fail to be encouraging. - -On one occasion Liszt was among the number of these visitors. As Rienzi -did not happen to be in the repertoire when he arrived, he induced the -management at his earnest request to arrange a special performance. I -met him between the acts in Tichatschek's dressing-room, and was -heartily encouraged and touched by his almost enthusiastic -appreciation, expressed in his most emphatic manner. The kind of life -to which Liszt was at that time condemned, and which bound him to a -perpetual environment of distracting and exciting elements, debarred us -from all more intimate and fruitful intercourse. Yet from this time -onward I continued to receive constant testimonies of the profound and -lasting impression I had made upon him, as well as of his sympathetic -remembrance of me. From various parts of the world, wherever his -triumphal progress led him, people, chiefly of the upper classes, came -to Dresden for the purpose of hearing Rienzi. They had been so -interested by Liszt's reports of my work, and by his playing of various -selections from it, that they all came expecting something of -unparalleled importance. - -Besides these indications of Liszt's enthusiastic and friendly -sympathy, other deeply touching testimonies appeared from different -quarters. The startling beginning made by Werder, on the occasion of -his midnight visit after the second performance of the Fliegender -Hollander in Berlin, was shortly afterwards followed by a similarly -unsolicited approach in the form of an effusive letter from an equally -unknown personage, Alwino Frommann, who afterwards became my faithful -friend. After my departure from Berlin she heard Schroder-Devrient -twice in the Fliegender Hollander, and the letter in which she -described the effect produced upon her by my work conveyed to me for -the first time the vigorous and profound sentiments of a deep and -confident recognition such as seldom falls to the lot of even the -greatest master, and cannot fail to exercise a weighty influence on his -mind and spirit, which long for self-confidence. - -I have no very vivid recollections of my own doings during this first -year of my position as conductor in a sphere of action which gradually -grew more and more familiar. For the anniversary of my appointment, and -to some extent as a personal recognition, I was commissioned to procure -Gluck's Armida. This we performed in March, 1843, with the co-operation -of Schroder-Devrient, just before her temporary departure from Dresden. -Great importance was attached to this production, because, at the same -moment, Meyerbeer was inaugurating his general-directorship in Berlin -by a performance of the same work. Indeed, it was in Berlin that the -extraordinary respect entertained for such a commemoration of Gluck had -its origin. I was told that Meyerbeer went to Rellstab with the score -of Armida in order to obtain hints as to its correct interpretation. - -As not long afterwards I also heard a strange story of two silver -candlesticks, wherewith the famous composer was said, to have -enlightened the no less famous critic when showing him the score of his -Feldlager in Schlesien, I decided to attach no great importance to the -instructions he might have received, but rather to help myself by a -careful handling of this difficult score, and by introducing some -softness into it through modulating the variations in tone as much as -possible. I had the gratification later of receiving an exceedingly -warm appreciation of my rendering from Herr Eduard Devrient, a great -Gluck connoisseur. After hearing this opera as presented by us, and -comparing it with the Berlin performance, he heartily praised the -tenderly modulated character of our rendering of certain parts, which, -he said, had been given in Berlin with the coarsest bluntness. He -mentioned, as a striking instance of this, a brief chorus in C major of -male and female nymphs in the third act. By the introduction of a more -moderate tempo and very soft piano I had tried to free this from the -original coarseness with which Devrient had heard it rendered in -Berlin--presumably with traditional fidelity. My most innocent device, -and one which I frequently adopted, for disguising the irritating -stiffness or the orchestral movement in the original, was a careful -modification of the Basso-continuo, which was taken uninterruptedly in -common time. This I felt obliged to remedy, partly by legato playing, -and partly by pizzicato. - -Our management were lavish in their expenditure on externals, -especially decoration, and as a spectacular opera the piece drew fairly -large houses, thus earning me the reputation of being a very suitable -conductor for Gluck, and one who was in close sympathy with him. This -result was the more conspicuous from the fact that Iphigenia in Tauris -which is a far superior work, and in which Devrient's interpretation of -the title-role was admirable had been performed to empty houses. - -I had to live upon this reputation for a long time, as it often -happened that I was compelled to give inferior performances of -repertoire pieces, including Mozart's operas. The mediocrity of these -was particularly disappointing to those who, after my success in -Armida, had expected a great deal from my rendering of these pieces, -and were much disappointed in consequence. Even sympathetic hearers -sought to explain their disappointment on the ground that I did not -appreciate Mozart and could not understand him. But they failed to -realise how impossible it was for me, as a mere conductor, to exercise -any real influence on such desultory performances, which were merely -given as stopgaps, and often without rehearsal. Indeed, in this matter -I often found myself in a false position, which, as I was powerless to -remedy it, contributed not a little to render unbearable both my new -office and my dependence upon the meanest motives of a paltry -theatrical routine, already overweighted with the cares of business. -This, in fact, became worse than I had expected, in spite of my -previous knowledge of the precariousness of such a life. My colleague -Reissiger, to whom from time to time I poured out my woes regarding the -scant attention given by the general management to our demands for the -maintenance of correct representations in the realm of opera, comforted -me by saying that I, like himself, would sooner or later relinquish all -these fads and submit to the inevitable fate of a conductor. Thereupon -he proudly smote his stomach, and hoped that I might soon be able to -boast of one as round as his own. - -I received further provocation for my growing dislike of these jog-trot -methods from a closer acquaintance with the spirit in which even -eminent conductors undertook the reproduction of our masterpieces. -During this first year Mendelssohn was invited to conduct his St. Paul -for one of the Palm Sunday concerts in the Dresden chapel, which was -famous at that time. The knowledge I thus acquired of this work, under -such favourable circumstances, pleased me so much, that I made a fresh -attempt to approach the composer with sincere and friendly motives; but -a remarkable conversation which I had with him on the evening of this -performance quickly and strangely repelled my impulse. After the -oratorio Reissiger was to produce Beethoven's Eighth Symphony. I had -noticed in the preceding rehearsal that Keissiger had fallen into the -error of all the ordinary conductors of this work by taking the tempo -di minuetto of the third movement at a meaningless waltz time, whereby -not only does the whole piece lose its imposing character, but the trio -is rendered absolutely ridiculous by the impossibility of the -violoncello part being interpreted at such a speed. I had called -Reissiger's attention to this defect, and he acquiesced in my opinion, -promising to take the part in question at true minuetto tempo. I -related this to Mendelssohn, when he was resting after his own -performance in the box beside me, listening to the symphony. He, too, -acknowledged that I was right, and thought that it ought to be played -as I said. And now the third movement began. Reissiger, who, it is -true, did not possess the needful power suddenly to impress so -momentous a change of time upon his orchestra with success, followed -the usual custom and took the tempo di minuetto in the same old waltz -time. Just as I was about to express my anger, Mendelssohn gave me a -friendly nod, as though he thought that this was what I wanted, and -that I had understood the music in this way. I was so amazed by this -complete absence of feeling on the part of the famous musician, that I -was struck dumb, and thenceforth my own particular opinion of -Mendelssohn gradually matured, an opinion which was afterwards -confirmed by R. Schumann. The latter, in expressing the sincere -pleasure he had felt on listening to the time at which I had taken the -first movement of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, told me that he had been -compelled to hear it year after year taken by Mendelssohn at a -perfectly distracting speed. - -Amid my yearning anxiety to exert some influence upon the spirit in -which our noblest masterpieces were executed, I had to struggle against -the profound dissatisfaction I felt with my employment on the ordinary -theatre repertoire. It was not until Palm Sunday of the year 1844, just -after my dispiriting expedition to Hamburg, that my desire to conduct -the Pastoral Symphony was satisfied. But many faults still remained -unremedied, and for the removal of these I had to adopt indirect -methods which gave me much trouble. For instance, at these famous -concerts the arrangement of the orchestra, the members of which were -seated in a long, thin, semicircular row round the chorus of singers, -was so inconceivably stupid that it required the explanation given by -Reissiger to make me understand such folly. He told me that all these -arrangements dated from the time of the late conductor Morlacchi, who, -as an Italian composer of operas, had no true realisation of the -importance of the orchestra nor of its necessities. When, therefore, I -asked why they had permitted him to meddle with things he did not -understand, I learned that the preference shown to this Italian, both -by the court and the general management, even in opposition to Carl -Maria von Weber, had always been absolute and brooked no contradiction. -I was warned that, even now, we should experience great difficulty in -ridding ourselves of these inherited vices, because the opinion still -prevailed in the highest circles that he must have understood best what -he was about. - -Once more my childish memories of the eunuch Sassaroli flashed through -my mind, and I remembered the warning of Weber's widow as to the -significance of my succession to her husband's post of conductor in -Dresden. But, in spite of all this, our performance of the Pastoral -Symphony succeeded beyond expectation, and the incomparable and -wonderfully stimulating enjoyment, which I was in future to derive from -my intercourse with Beethoven's works, now first enabled me to realise -his prolific strength. Kockel shared in this enjoyment with heartfelt -sympathy; he supported me with eye and ear at every rehearsal, always -stood by my side, and was at one with me both in his appreciation and -his aims. - -After this encouraging success I was to receive the gratification of -another triumph in the summer, which, although it was of no particular -moment from the musical point of view, was of great social importance. -The King of Saxony, towards whom, as I have already said, I had felt -warmly drawn when he was Prince Friedrich, was expected home from a -long visit to England. The reports received of his stay there had -greatly rejoiced my patriotic soul. While this homely monarch, who -shrank from all pomp and noisy demonstration, was in England, it -happened that the Tsar Nicholas arrived quite unexpectedly on a visit -to the Queen. In his honour great festivities and military reviews were -held, in which our King, much against his will, was obliged to -participate, and he was consequently compelled to receive the -enthusiastic acclamations of the English crowd, who were most -demonstrative in showing their preference for him, as compared with the -unpopular Tsar. This preference was also reflected in the newspapers, -so that a flattering incense floated over from England to our little -Saxony which filled us all with a peculiar pride in our King. While I -was in this mood, which absorbed me completely, I learned that -preparations were being made in Leipzig for a special welcome to the -King on his return, which was to be further dignified by a musical -festival in the directing of which Mendelssohn was to take part. I made -inquiries as to what was going to be done in Dresden, and learned that -the King did not propose to call there at all, but was going direct to -his summer residence at Pillnitz. - -A moment's reflection showed me that this would only further my desire -of preparing a pleasant and hearty reception for his Majesty. As I was -a servant of the Crown, any attempt on my part to render an act of -homage in Dresden might have had the appearance of an official parade -which would not be admissible. I seized the idea, therefore, of -hurriedly collecting together all who could either play or sing, so -that we might perform a Reception song hastily composed in honour of -the event. The obstacle to my plan was that my Director Luttichau was -away at one of his country seats. To come to an understanding with my -colleague Reissiger would, moreover, have involved delay, and given the -enterprise the very aspect of an official ovation which I wished to -avoid. As no time was to be lost, if anything worthy of the occasion -was to be done--as the King was due to arrive in a few days--I availed -myself of my position as conductor of the Glee Club, and summoned all -its singers and instrumentalists to my aid. In addition to these, I -invited the members of our theatrical company, and also those of the -orchestra, to join us. This done, I drove quickly to Pillnitz to -arrange matters with the Lord Chamberlain, whom I found favourably -disposed towards my project. The only leisure I could snatch for -composing the verses of my song and setting them to music was during -the rapid drive there and back, for by the time I reached home I had to -have every thing ready for the copyist and lithographer. The agreeable -sensation of rushing through the warm summer air and lovely country, -coupled with the sincere affection with which I was inspired for our -German Prince, and which had prompted my effort, elated me and worked -me up to a high pitch of tension, in which I now formed a clear -conception of the lyrical outlines of the 'Tannhauser March,' which -first saw the light of day on the occasion of this royal welcome. I -soon afterwards developed this theme, and thus produced the march which -became the most popular of the melodies I had hitherto composed. - -On the next day it had to be tried over with a hundred and twenty -instrumentalists and three hundred singers. I had taken the liberty of -inviting them to meet me on the stage of the Court Theatre, where -everything went off capitally. Every one was delighted, and I not the -least so, when a messenger arrived from the director, who had just -returned to town, requesting an immediate interview. Littichau was -enraged beyond measure at my high-handed proceedings in this matter, of -which he had been informed by our good friend Reissiger. If his -baronial coronet had been on his head during this interview, it would -assuredly have tumbled off. The fact that I should have conducted my -negotiations in person with the court officials, and could report that -my endeavours had met with extraordinarily prompt success, aroused his -deepest fury, for the chief importance of his own position consisted in -always representing everything which had to be obtained by these means -as surrounded by the greatest obstacles, and hedged in by the strictest -etiquette. I offered to cancel everything, but that only embarrassed -him the more. I thereupon asked him what he wanted me to do, if the -plan was still to be carried out. On this point he seemed uncertain, -but thought I had shown a great lack of fellow-feeling in having not -only ignored him, but Reissiger as well. I answered that I was -perfectly ready to hand over my composition and the conducting of the -piece to Reissiger. But he could not swallow this, as he really had an -exceedingly poor opinion of Reissiger, of which I was very well aware. -His real grievance was that I had arranged the whole business with the -Lord Chamberlain, Herr von Reizenstein, who was his personal enemy, and -he added that I could form no conception of the rudeness he had been -obliged to endure from the hands of this official. This outburst of -confidence made it easier for me to exhibit an almost sincere emotion, -to which he responded by a shrug of the shoulders, meaning that he must -resign himself to a disagreeable necessity. - -But my project was even more seriously threatened by the wretched -weather than by this storm with the director; for it rained all day in -torrents. If it lasted, which it seemed only too likely to do, I could -hardly start on the special boat at five o'clock in the morning, as -proposed, with my hundreds of helpers, to give an early morning concert -at Pillnitz, two hours away. I anticipated such a disaster with genuine -dismay. But Rockel consoled me by saying that I could rely upon it that -we should have glorious weather the next day; for I was lucky! This -belief in my luck has followed me ever since, even down to my latest -days; and amid the great misfortunes which have so often hampered my -enterprises, I have felt as if this statement were a wicked insult to -fate. But this time, at least, my friend was right; the 12th of August, -1844 was from sunrise till late at night the most perfect summer day -that I can remember in my whole life. The sensation of blissful content -with which I saw my light-hearted legion of gaily dressed bandsmen and -singers gathering through the auspicious morning mists on board our -steamer, swelled my breast with a fervent faith in my lucky star. - -By my friendly impetuosity I had succeeded in overcoming Reissiger's -smouldering resentment, and had persuaded him to share the honour of -our undertaking by conducting the performance of my composition -himself. When we arrived at the spot, everything went off splendidly. -The King and royal family were visibly touched, and in the evil times -that followed the Queen of Saxony spoke of this occasion, I am told, -with peculiar emotion, as the fairest day of her life. After Reissiger -had wielded his baton with great dignity, and I had sung with the -tenors in the choir, we two conductors were summoned to the presence of -the royal family. The King warmly expressed his thanks, while the Queen -paid us the high compliment of saying that I composed very well and -that Reissiger conducted very well. His Majesty asked us to repeat the -last three stanzas only, as, owing to a painful ulcerated tooth, he -could not remain much longer out of doors. I rapidly devised a combined -evolution, the remarkably successful execution of which I am very -proud, even to this day. I had the entire song repeated, but, in -accordance with the King's wish, only one verse was sung in our -original crescent formation. At the beginning of the second verse I -made my four hundred undisciplined bandsmen and singers file off in a -march through the garden, which, as they gradually receded, was so -arranged that the final notes could only reach the royal ear as an -echoing dream-song. Thanks to my unexampled activity and ever-present -help, this retreat was so steadily carried out that not the slightest -faltering was perceptible either in time or delivery, and the whole -might have been taken for a carefully rehearsed theatrical manoeuvre. -On reaching the castle court we found that, by the Queen's kindly -forethought, an ample breakfast had been provided for our party on the -lawn, where the tables were already spread. We often saw our royal -hostess herself busily supervising the attendants, or moving with -excited delight about the windows and corridors of the castle. Every -eye beamed rapture to my soul, as the successful author of the general -happiness, and I almost felt amid the glories of that day as though the -millennium had been proclaimed. After roaming in a body through the -lovely grounds of the castle, and not omitting to pay a visit to the -Keppgrund which had been so dear to me in my youth, we returned late at -night, and in the highest spirits, to Dresden. - -Next morning I was again summoned to the presence of the director. But -a change had come over him during the night. - -As I began to offer my apologies for the anxiety I had caused him, the -tall thin man, with the hard dry face, seized me by the hand and -addressed me with a rapturous expression, which I am sure no one else -ever saw on his face. He told me to say no more about these anxieties. -I was a great man, and soon no one would know anything about him, -whereas I should be universally admired and loved. I was deeply moved, -and wished only to express my embarrassment at so unexpected an -outburst, when he kindly interrupted me and sought an escape from his -own emotion in good-humoured confidences. He referred, with a smile, to -the self-denial which had yielded the place of honour on so -extraordinary an occasion to an undeserving man like Reissiger. When I -assured him that this act had afforded me the liveliest satisfaction, -and that I had myself persuaded my colleague to take the baton, he -confessed that at last he began to understand me, but failed altogether -to comprehend how the other could accept a position to which he had no -right. - -Luttichau's altered attitude towards me was such that for some time our -intercourse on matters of business assumed an almost confidential tone. -But, unfortunately, in course of time things changed for the worse, so -that our relationship became one of open enmity; nevertheless, a -certain peculiar tenderness towards me on the part of this singular man -was always clearly perceptible. Indeed, I might almost say that much of -his subsequent abuse of me sounded more like the strangely perverted -plaints of a love that met with no response. - -For my holiday this year I went, early in September, to Fischer's -vineyard, near Loschwitz, not far from the famous Firidlater vineyard, -where, somewhat late in the year, I rented a summer residence. Where -under the kindly and strengthening stimulus of six week of open-air -life, I composed my music for the second act of Tannhauser, which I -completed by the 15th of October. During this period a performance of -Rienzi was given before an audience of no ordinary importance. For this -event I went up to town. Spontini, Meyerbeer, and General Lwoff, the -composer of the Russian National Anthem, were seated together in a -stage box. I sought no opportunity of learning the impression made by -my opera upon these learned judges and magnates of the musical world. -It was enough for me to have the complacent satisfaction of knowing -that they had heard my oft-repeated work performed before a crowded -house and amid overwhelming applause. I was delighted at the close of -the opera to have my little dog Peps, which had run after me all the -way from the country, brought to me; and without waiting to greet the -European celebrities, I drove off with it at once to our quiet -vineyard, where Minna was greatly relieved to recover her little pet, -which for hours she had believed to be lost. - -Here I also received a visit from Werder, the man whose friendship I -had made in Berlin under such dramatic circumstances. But this time he -appeared in ordinary human guise, beneath the kindly light of heaven, -by which we disputed in a friendly way concerning the true worth of the -Fliegender Hollander, my mind having somewhat turned against this work -since Tannhauser had got into my head. It certainly seemed odd to find -myself contradicted on this point by my friend, and to receive -instruction from him on the significance of my own work. - -When we returned to our winter quarters I tried to avoid allowing so -lengthy an interval to elapse between the composition of the second and -third acts as had separated that of the first and second. In spite of -many absorbing engagements I succeeded in my aim. By carefully -cultivating a habit of taking solitary walks, and thanks to their -soothing influence over me, I managed to finish the music of Act iii. -by the 29th of December, that is to say, before the end of the year. - -During this period my time was otherwise very seriously occupied by a -visit paid us by Spontini with reference to a proposed presentation of -his Vestalin, the preparation for which had just begun. The singular -episodes and characteristic features of the intercourse which I thus -gained with this eminent and hoary-headed master are still so vividly -imprinted on my memory that they seem worthy of a place in this record. - -Since, with the co-operation of Schroder-Devrient, we could, on the -whole, rely upon an admirable presentation of the opera, I had inspired -Luttichau with the idea of inviting Spontini to undertake the personal -superintendence of his justly famous work. He had just left Berlin for -ever, after enduring great humiliation there, and such an invitation at -this moment would be a well-timed proof of respect. This was -accordingly sent, and as I had myself been entrusted with the -conductorship of the opera, I was given the singular task of deciding -this point with the master. My letter, it appears, although written in -French, inspired him with a high opinion of my zeal for the enterprise, -and in a gracious reply he informed me what his special wishes were -regarding the arrangements to be made for his collaboration. As far as -the vocalists were concerned, and seeing that a Schroder-Devrient was -among the number, he frankly expressed his satisfaction. As for chorus -and ballet, he took it for granted that nothing would be lacking to the -dignity of the performance; and finally, as regarded the orchestra, he -expected that this also would be sure to please him, as he presumed it -contained the necessary complement of excellent instruments which, to -use his own words, 'he hoped would furnish the performance with twelve -good contrabass!' (le tout garni de douze bonnes contre-basses). This -phrase bowled me over, for the proportion thus bluntly stated in -figures gave me so logical a conception of his exalted expectations, -that I hurried away at once to the director to warn him that the -enterprise on which we had embarked would not, after all, prove as easy -as we thought. His alarm was great, and he said that some plan must at -once be devised for breaking off the engagement. - -When Schroder-Devrient heard of our dilemma, knowing Spontini well, she -laughed as though she would never stop at the ingenuous impudence with -which we had issued our invitation. A trifling indisposition from which -she then suffered provided a reasonable excuse for a delay, more or -less prolonged, and this she generously placed at our disposal. -Spontini had, in fact, urged us to use all possible despatch in the -execution of our project, for, as he was impatiently awaited in Paris, -he could spare us but little time. It fell to my lot to weave the -tissue of innocent deceptions by which we hoped to divert the master -from a definite acceptance of our invitation. Now we could breathe -again, and duly began rehearsing. But on the very day before we -proposed to hold our full-dress rehearsal at our leisure, lo and -behold! about noon a carriage drove up to my door, in which, clad in a -long blue coat of pilot-cloth, sat no other than the haughty master -himself, whose manners resembled those of a Spanish grandee. All -unattended and greatly excited, he entered my room, showed me my -letters, and proved from our correspondence that the invitation had not -been declined, but that he had in all points accurately complied with -our wishes. Forgetting for the moment all the possible embarrassments -which might arise, in my genuine delight at beholding the wonderful man -before me, and hearing his work conducted by himself, I at once -undertook to do everything I possibly could to meet his desires. This -declaration I made with the utmost sincerity of zeal. He smiled with -almost childlike kindliness on hearing me, and I at once begged him to -conduct the rehearsal arranged for the morrow. He thereupon grew -suddenly thoughtful, and began to weigh the numerous disadvantages of -such an action on his part. So acute did his agitation become that he -had the greatest difficulty in expressing himself clearly on any point, -and I found it no easy matter to inquire what arrangements on our part -would persuade him to undertake the morrow's rehearsal. After a -moment's reflection he asked what sort of baton I was accustomed to use -when conducting. With my hands I indicated the approximate length and -thickness of a medium-sized wooden rod, such as our choir-attendant was -in the habit of supplying, freshly covered with white paper. He sighed, -and asked if I thought it possible to procure him by to-morrow a baton -of black ebony, whose very respectable length and thickness he -indicated by a gesture, and on each end of which a fairly large knob of -ivory was to be affixed. I promised to have one prepared for the next -rehearsal, which should at least be similar in appearance to what he -desired, and another of the specified materials in time for the actual -performance. Visibly relieved, he then passed his hand over his brow, -and granted me permission to announce his consent to conduct on the -following day. After once more strongly enforcing his instructions as -to the baton, he went back to his hotel. - -I seemed to be moving in a dream, and hastened in a whirl-wind of -excitement to publish the news of what had happened and was to be -expected. We were fairly trapped. Schroder-Devrient offered to become -our scapegoat, while I entered into precise details with the theatre -carpenter concerning the baton. This turned out so far correct that it -possessed the requisite length and breadth, was black in its colour, -and had two large white knobs. Then came the fateful rehearsal. -Spontini was evidently ill at ease on his seat in the orchestra. First -of all he wished to have the oboists placed behind him. As this partial -change of position just at that moment would have caused much confusion -in the disposition of the orchestra, I promised to effect the -alteration after the rehearsal. He said no more, and took up his baton. -In a moment I understood why he attached such importance to its form -and size. He held it, not as other conductors do, by the end, but -gripped it about the middle with his clenched fist, waving it so as to -make it evident that he wielded his baton like a field-marshal's staff, -not for beating time, but for command. - -Confusion arose in the very first scene, which was increased by the -fact that the master's instructions, both to orchestra and singers, -were rendered almost unintelligible by his confused use of the German -language. This much at least we were soon able to grasp, that he was -particularly anxious to disabuse us of the idea that this was a -full-dress rehearsal, and to show us that he was set upon a thorough -re-study of the opera from the very beginning. Great, indeed, was the -despair of my good old chorus-master and stage manager, Fischer--who -before had enthusiastically advocated the invitation of Spontini--when -he recognised that the dislocation of our repertoire was now -inevitable. This feeling swelled by degrees to open anger, in the -blindness of which every fresh suggestion of Spontini's appeared but -frivolous fault-finding, to which he bluntly responded in the coarsest -German. After one of the choruses Spontini beckoned me to his side and -whispered: 'Mais savez-vous, vos choeurs ne chantent pas mal'; -whereupon Fischer, regarding this with suspicion, shouted out to me in -a rage: 'What does the old hog want now?' and I had some trouble to -pacify the speedily converted enthusiast. - -But our most serious delay arose, during the first act, through the -evolutions of a triumphal march. With the most vociferous emphasis the -master expressed intense dissatisfaction with the apathetic demeanour -of our populace during the procession of vestal virgins. He was quite -unaware of the fact that, in obedience to our stage manager's -instructions, they had fallen on their knees upon the appearance of the -priestesses; for he was so excited, and withal so terribly -short-sighted, that nothing which appealed to the eye alone was -perceptible to his senses. What he demanded was that the Roman army -should manifest its devout respect in more drastic fashion by flinging -themselves as one man to the ground, and marking this by delivering a -crashing blow of their spears on their shields. Endless attempts were -made, but some one always clattered either too soon or too late. Then -he repeated the action himself several times with his baton on the -desk, but all to no purpose; the crash was not sufficiently sharp and -emphatic. This reminded me of the impression made upon me some years -before in Berlin by the wonderful precision and almost alarming effect -with which I had seen similar evolutions carried out in the play of -Ferdinand Cortez, and I realized that it would require an immediate and -tedious accentuation of our customary softness of action in such -maneouvres before we could meet the fastidious master's requirements. -At the end of the first act Spontini went on the stage himself, in -order to give a detailed explanation of his reasons for wishing to -defer his opera for a considerable time, so as to prepare by -multitudinous rehearsals for its production in accordance with his -taste. He expected to find the actors of the Dresden Court Theatre -gathered there to hear him; but the company had already dispersed. -Singers and stage manager had hastily scattered in every direction to -give vent, each in his own fashion, to the misery of the situation. -None but the workmen, lamp-cleaners, and a few of the chorus gathered -in a semicircle around Spontini, in order to have a look at that -remarkable man, as he held forth with wonderful effect on the -requirements of true theatrical art. Turning towards the dismal scene, -I gently and respectfully pointed out to Spontini the uselessness of -his declamation, and promised that everything should eventually be done -precisely as he desired. - -Finally, I succeeded in extricating him from the undignified position -in which, to my horror, he had been placed, by telling him that Herr -Eduard Devrient, who had seen the Vestalin in Berlin, and carried every -detail of the performance in his mind, should personally drill our -chorus and supers into a becoming solemnity during the reception of the -vestals. This pacified him, and we proceeded to settle on a plan for a -series of rehearsals according to his wishes. But, in spite of all -this, I was the only person to whom this strange turn of affairs was -not unwelcome; for through the burlesque extravagances of Spontini, and -notwithstanding his extraordinary eccentricities, which, however, I -learned in time to understand, I could perceive the miraculous energy -with which he pursued and attained an ideal of theatrical art such as -in our days had become almost unknown. - -We began, therefore, with a pianoforte rehearsal, at which the master -made a point of telling the singers what he wanted. He did not tell us -anything new, however, for he said little about the details of the -rendering; on the other hand, he expatiated upon the general -interpretation, and I noticed that in doing this, he had accustomed -himself to make the most decided allowances for the great singers, -especially Schroder-Devrient and Tichatschek. The only thing he did was -to forbid the latter to use the word Braut (bride) with which Licinius -had to address Julia in the German translation; this word sounded -horrible in his ears, and he could not understand how anybody could set -such a vulgar sound as that to music. He gave a long lecture, however, -to the somewhat coarse and less talented singer who took the part of -the high-priest, and explained to him how to understand and interpret -this character from the dialogue (in recitative) between him and -Haruspex. He told him that he must understand that the whole thing was -based upon priestcraft and superstition. Pontifex must make it clear -that he does not fear his antagonist at the head of the Roman army, -because, should the worst come to the worst, he has his machines ready, -which, if necessary, will miraculously rekindle the dead fire of Vesta. -In this way, even though Julia should escape the sacrifice, the power -of the priesthood would still be unassailable. - -During one of the rehearsals I asked Spontini why he, who, as a rule, -made such very effective use of the trombone, should have left it -entirely out in the magnificent triumphal march of the first act. Very -much astonished he asked: 'Est-ce que je n'ai pas de trombones?' I -showed him the printed score, and he then asked me to add the trombones -to the march, so that, if possible, they might be used at the next -rehearsal. He also said: 'J'ai entendu dans votre Rienzi un instrument, -que vous appelez Basse-tuba; je ne veux pas bannir cet instrument de -l'orchestre: faites m'en une partie pour la Vestale.' It gave me great -pleasure to perform this task for him with all the care and good -judgment I could dispose of. When at the rehearsal he heard the effect -for the first time, he threw me a really grateful glance, and so much -appreciated the really simple additions I had made to his score, that a -little later on he wrote me a very friendly letter from Paris in which -he asked me kindly to send him the extra instrumental parts I had -prepared for him. His pride would not allow him, however, to ask -outright for something for which I alone had been responsible, so he -wrote: 'Envoyez-moi une partition des trombones pour la marche -triomphale et de la Basse-tuba telle qu'elle a ete executee sous ma -direction a Dresde.' Apart from this, I also showed how greatly I -respected him, in the eagerness with which, at his special request, I -regrouped all the instruments in the orchestra. He was forced to this -request more by habit than by principle, and how very important it -seemed to him not to make the slightest change in his customary -arrangements, was proved to me when he explained his method of -conducting. He conducted the orchestra, so he said, only with his eyes: -'My left eye is the first violin, my right eye the second, and if the -eye is to have power, one must not wear glasses (as so many bad -conductors do), even if one is short-sighted. I,' he admitted -confidentially, 'cannot see twelve inches in front of me, but all the -same I can make them play as I want, merely by fixing them with my -eye.' In some respects the arbitrary way in which he used to arrange -his orchestra was really very irrational. From his old days in Paris he -had retained the habit of placing the two oboists immediately behind -him, and although this was a fad which owed its origin to a mere -accident, it was one to which he always adhered. The consequence was -that these players had to avert the mouthpiece of their instruments -from the audience, and our excellent oboist was so angry about this -arrangement, that it was only by dint of great diplomacy that I -succeeded in pacifying him. - -Apart from this, Spontini's method was based upon the absolutely -correct system (which even at the present time is misunderstood by some -German orchestras) of spreading the string quartette over the whole -orchestra. This system further consisted in preventing the brass and -percussion instruments from culminating in one point (and drowning each -other) by dividing them on both sides, and by placing the more delicate -wind instruments at a judicious distance from each other, thus forming -a chain between the violins. Even some great and celebrated orchestras -of the present day still retain the custom of dividing the mass of -instruments into two halves, the string and the wind instruments, an -arrangement that denotes roughness and a lack of understanding of the -sound of the orchestra, which ought to blend harmoniously and be well -balanced. - -I was very glad to have the chance of introducing this excellent -improvement in Dresden, for now that Spontini himself had initiated it, -it was an easy matter to get the King's command to let the alteration -stand. Nothing remained after Spontini's departure but to modify and -correct certain eccentricities and arbitrary features in his -arrangements; and from that moment I attained a high level of success -with my orchestra. - -With all the peculiarities he showed at rehearsals, this exceptional -man fascinated both musicians and singers to such an extent that the -production attracted quite an unusual amount of attention. Very -characteristic was the energy with which he insisted on exceptionally -sharp rhythmic accents; through his association with the Berlin -orchestra he had acquired the habit of marking the note that he wished -to be brought out with the word diese (this), which at first was quite -incomprehensible to me. The great singer Tichatschek, who had a -positive genius for rhythm, was highly pleased by this; for he also had -acquired the habit of compelling the chorus to great precision in very -important entries, and maintained that if one only accentuated the -first note properly, the rest followed as a matter of course. On the -whole, therefore, a spirit of devotion to the master gradually pervaded -the orchestra; the violas alone bore him a grudge for a while, and for -this reason. In the accompaniment of the lugubrious cantilena of Julia -at the end of the second act, he would not put up with the way in which -the violas played the horribly sentimental accompaniment. Suddenly -turning towards them he called in a sepulchral tone, 'Are the violas -dying?' The two pale and incurably melancholy old men who held on -tenaciously to their posts in the orchestra, notwithstanding their -right to a pension, stared at Spontini with real fright, reading a -threat in his words, and I had to explain Spontini's wish in sober -language in order to call them back to life. - -On the stage Herr Eduard Devrient helped very materially in bringing -about wonderfully distinct ensembles; he also knew how to gratify a -certain wish of Spontini's, which threw us all into tremendous -confusion. In accordance with the cuts adopted by all the German -theatres, we too ended the opera with the fiery duet, supported by the -chorus, between Licinius and Julia after their rescue. The master, -however, insisted on adding a lively chorus and ballet to the finale, -according to the antiquated method of ending common to French opera -seria. He was absolutely against finishing his work with a dismal -churchyard episode; consequently the whole scene had to be altered. -Venus was to shine resplendent in a rose bower, and the long-suffering -lovers were to be wedded at her altar, amid lively dancing and singing, -by rose-bedecked priests and priestesses. We performed it like this, -but unluckily not with the success we had all hoped for. - -In the course of the production, which was proceeding with wonderful -accuracy and verve, we came across a difficulty with regard to the -principal part for which none of us had been prepared. Our great -Schroder-Devrient was obviously no longer of an age to give the desired -effect as the youngest of the vestal virgins; she had acquired matronly -contours, and her age was moreover accentuated by the extremely -girlish-looking high-priestess with whom she had to act, and whose -youth it was difficult to dissimulate. This was my niece, Johanna -Wagner, who, because of her marvellous voice and great talent as an -actress, made every one in the audience long to see the parts of the -two women reversed. Schroder-Devrient, who was well aware of this fact, -tried by every effective means in her power to overcome her most -difficult position; this effort, however, resulted not infrequently in -great exaggeration and straining of the voice, and in one very -important place her part was sadly overacted. When, after the great -trio in the second act, she had to gasp the words, 'er ist frei' ('he -is free'), and to move away from her rescued lover towards the front of -the stage, she made the mistake of speaking the words instead of -singing them. - -She had often proved the effect of a decisive word uttered with an -exaggerated and yet careful imitation of the ordinary accents of the -spoken language, by exciting the audience's wildest enthusiasm when she -almost whispered the words, 'Noch einen Schritt und du bist todt!' -('Just one more step and thou art dead!') in Fidelia. This terrific -effect, which I too had felt, was produced by the shock--like unto the -blow of an executioner's axe--which I received on suddenly coming down -from the ideal sphere to which music itself can exalt the most awful -situations, to the naked surface of dreadful reality. This sensation -was due simply to the knowledge of the utmost height of the sublime, -and the memory of the impression I received led me to call that -particular moment the moment of lightning; for it was as if two -different worlds that meet, and yet are divided, were suddenly -illumined and revealed as by a flash. Thoroughly to understand such a -moment, and not to treat it wrongly, was the whole secret, and this I -fully realised on that day from the absolute failure on the great -singer's part to produce the right effect. The toneless, hoarse way in -which she uttered the words was like throwing cold water over the -audience and myself, and not one of those present could see any more in -the incident than a botched theatrical effect. It is possible that the -public had expected too much, for they were curious to see Spontini -conduct, and the prices had been raised accordingly; it may also have -been that the whole style of the work, with its antiquated French plot, -seemed rather obsolete in spite of the majestic beauty, of the music; -or, perhaps, the very tame end left the same cold impression as -Devrient's dramatic failure. In any case there was no real enthusiasm, -and the only sign of approval was a rather lukewarm call for the -celebrated master, who, covered with numerous decorations, made a sad -impression on me as he bowed his thanks to the audience for their very -moderate applause. - -Nobody was less blind to the somewhat disappointing result than -Spontini himself. He decided, however, to defy fate, and to this end -had recourse to means which he had often employed in Berlin, in order -to get packed houses for his operatic productions. Thus, he always gave -Sunday performances, for experience had taught him that he could always -have a full house on that day. As the next Sunday on which his Vestalin -was to be produced was still some time ahead, his prolonged stay gave -us several more chances of enjoying his interesting company. I have -such a vivid recollection of the hours spent with him either at Madame -Devrient's or at my house, that I shall be pleased to quote a few -reminiscences. - -I shall never forget a dinner at Schroder-Devrient's house at which we -had a charming conversation with Spontini and his wife (a sister of the -celebrated pianoforte maker, Erard). Spontini generally listened -deferentially to what the others had to say, his attitude being that of -a man who expected to be asked for his opinion. When he did speak in -the end it was with a sort of rhetorical solemnity, in sharp and -precise sentences, categorical and well accentuated, which forbade -contradiction from the outset. Herr Ferdinand Hiller was among the -invited guests, and he began to speak about Liszt. After some time -Spontini gave his opinion in his characteristic fashion, but in a -spirit which showed only too clearly, that from the heights of his -Berlin throne he had not judged the affairs of the world either with -impartiality or goodwill. While he was laying down the law in this -style he could not brook any interruption. When, therefore, during the -dessert, the general conversation became livelier, and Madame Devrient -happened to laugh with her neighbour at the table in the middle of a -long harangue of Spontini's, he shot an extremely angry glance at his -wife. Madame Devrient apologised for her at once by saying that it was -she (Madame Devrient) who had been laughing about some lines on a -bonbonniere, whereupon Spontini retorted: 'Pourtant je suis sur que -c'est ma femme qui a suscite ce rire; je ne veux pas que l'on rie -devant moi, je ne rie jamais moi, j'aime le serieux.' In spite of that -he sometimes succeeded in being jovial. For instance, it amused him to -set us all wondering at the way in which he crunched enormous lumps of -sugar with his marvellous teeth. After dinner, when we drew our chairs -closer together, he usually became very excited. - -As far as he was capable of affection he seemed really to like me; he -declared openly that he loved me, and said that he would prove this -best by trying to keep me from the misfortune of proceeding in my -career as a dramatic composer. He said he knew it would be difficult to -convince me of the value of this friendly service, but as he felt it -his sacred duty to look after my happiness in this particular line, he -was prepared to stay in Dresden for another half-year, during which -period he suggested that we should produce his other operas, and -especially Agnes von Hohenstaufen, under his direction. To explain his -views about the fatal mistake of trying to succeed as a dramatic -composer 'after Spontini,' he began by praising me in these terms: -'Quand j'ai entendu votre Rienzi, j'ai dit, c'est un homme de genie, -mais deja il a plus fait qu'il ne peut faire.' In order to show me what -he meant by this paradox, he proceeded as follows: 'Apres Gluck c'est -moi qui ai fait la grande revolution avec la Vestale; j'ai introduit le -Vorhalt de la sexte' (the suspension of the sixth) 'dans l'harmonie et -la grosse caisse dans l'orchestre; avec Cortez j'ai fait un pas de plus -en avant; puis j'ai fait trois pas avec Olympic. Nurmahal, Alcidor et -tout ce que j'ai fait dans les premiers temps a Berlin, je vous les -livre, c'etaient des oeuvres occasionnelles; mais depuis j'ai fait cent -pas en avant avec Agnes de Hohenstaufen, ou j'ai imagine un emploi de -l'orchestre remplacant parfaitement l'orgue.' - -Since then he had tried his hand at a new work, Les Atheniennes; the -Crown Prince (now King of Prussia [Footnote: William the First.]) had -urged him to finish this work, and to testify to the truth of his -words, he took several letters which he had received from this monarch -out of his pocket-book, and handed them to us for inspection. Not until -he had insisted upon our reading them carefully through did he continue -by saying that, in spite of this flattering invitation, he had given up -the idea of setting this excellent subject to music, because he felt -sure he could never surpass his Agnes von Hohenstaufen, nor invent -anything new. In conclusion he said: 'Or, comment voulez-vous que -quiconque puisse inventer quelque chose de nouveau, moi Spontini -declarant ne pouvoir en aucune facon surpasser mes oeuvres precedentes, -d'autre part etant avise que depuis la Vestale il n'a point ete ecrit -une note qui ne fut volee de mes partitions.' - -To prove that this assertion was not merely talk, but that it was based -on scientific investigations, he quoted his wife, who was supposed to -have read with him an elaborate discussion on the subject by a -celebrated member of the French academy, and he added that the essay in -question had, for some mysterious reason, never been printed. In this -very important and scientific treatise it was proved that without -Spontini's invention of the suspension of the sixth in his Vestalin, -the whole of modern melody would not have existed, and that any and -every form of melody that had been used since had been borrowed from -his compositions. I was thunderstruck, but hoped all the same to bring -the inexorable master to a better frame of mind, especially in regard -to certain reservations he had made. I acknowledged that the -academician in question was right in many ways, but I asked him if he -did not believe that if somebody brought him a dramatic poem full of an -absolutely new and hitherto unknown spirit, it would not inspire him to -invent new musical combinations? With a ring of compassion in his -voice, he replied that my question was wholly mistaken; in what would -the novelty consist? 'Dans la Vestale j'ai compose un sujet romain, -dans Ferdinand Cortez un sujet espagnol-mexicain, dans Olympic un sujet -greco-macedonien, enfin dans Agnes de Hohenstaufen un sujet allemand: -tout le reste ne vaut rien!' He hoped that I was not thinking of the -so-called romantic style a la Freischutz? With such childish stuff no -serious man could have anything to do; for art was a serious thing, and -he had exhausted serious art! And, after all, what nation could produce -the composer who could surpass HIM? Surely not the Italians, whom he -characterised simply as cochons; certainly not the French, who had only -imitated the Italians; nor the Germans, who would never get beyond -their childhood in music, and who, if they had ever possessed any -talent, had had it all spoilt for them by the Jews? 'Oh, croyez-moi, il -y avait de l'espoir pour l'Allemagne lorsque j'etais empereur de la -musique a Berlin; mais depuis que le roi de Prusse a livre sa musique -au desordre occasionne par les deux juifs errants qu'il a attires, tout -espoir est perdu.' - -Our charming hostess now thought it time to change the subject, and to -divert the master's thoughts. The theatre was situated quite near to -her house; she invited him to go across with our friend Heine, who was -amongst the guests, and to have a look at Antigone, which was then -being given, and which was sure to interest him on account of the -antique equipment of the stage, which had been carried out according to -Semper's excellent plans. At first he wanted to refuse, on the plea -that he had seen all this so much better when his Olympia had been -performed. After a while he consented; but in a very short time he -returned to his original opinion, and, smiling scornfully, assured us -that he had seen and heard enough to strengthen him in his verdict. -Heine told us that shortly after he and Spontini had taken their seats -in the almost empty amphitheatre, and as soon as the Bacchus chorus had -started, Spontini had said to him: 'C'est de la Berliner Sing-Academie, -allons-nous-en.' Through an open door a streak of light had fallen on a -lonely figure behind one of the columns; Heine had recognised -Mendelssohn, and concluded that he had overheard Spontini's remark. - -From the master's very excited conversations we soon realised very -distinctly that he intended to stay longer in Dresden, so as to get all -his operas performed. It was Schroder-Devrient's idea to save Spontini, -in his own interest, from the mortifying disappointment of finding all -his enthusiastic hopes in regard to a second performance of Vestalin -unfounded, and, if possible, to prevent this second performance during -his stay in Dresden. She pretended to be ill, and the director -requested me to inform Spontini of the fact that his production would -have to be indefinitely postponed. This visit was so distasteful to me, -that I was glad to make it in Rockel's company. He was also a friend of -Spontini's, and his French was moreover much better than mine. As we -were quite prepared for a bad reception, we were really frightened to -enter. Imagine, therefore, our astonishment when we found the master, -who had already been informed of the news in a letter from Devrient, in -the very brightest spirits. - -He told us that he had to leave immediately for Paris, and that from -there he was to travel to Rome, the Holy Father having commanded him to -come in order to receive the title of 'Count of San Andrea.' Then he -showed us a second document, in which the King of Denmark was supposed -to have raised him to the Danish nobility. This meant, however, only -that the title of 'Ritter' of the 'Elephanten-Order' had been conferred -upon him; and although this was indeed a high honour, in speaking about -it he only mentioned the word 'Ritter' without referring to the -particular order, because this seemed to him too ordinary for a person -of his dignity. He was, however, childishly pleased over the affair, -and felt that he had been miraculously rescued from the narrow sphere -of his Dresden Vestalin production to find himself suddenly transported -into regions of glory, from which he looked down upon the distressing -'opera' world with sublime self-content. - -Meanwhile Rockel and I silently thanked the Holy Father and the King of -Denmark from the bottom of our hearts. We bode an affectionate farewell -to the strange master, and to cheer him I promised him seriously to -think over his friendly advice with regard to my career as a composer -of opera. - -Later on I heard what Spontini had said about me, on hearing that I had -fled from Dresden for political reasons, and had sought refuge in -Switzerland. He thought that this was in consequence of my share in a -plot of high treason against the King of Saxony, whom he looked upon as -my benefactor, because I had been nominated conductor of the royal -orchestra, and he expressed his opinion about me by ejaculating in -tones of the deepest anguish: 'Quelle ingratitude!' - -From Berlioz, who was at Spontini's deathbed until the end, I heard -that the master had struggled most determinedly against death, and had -cried repeatedly, 'Je ne veux pas mourir, je ne veux pas mourir!' When -Berlioz tried to comfort him by saying, 'Comment pouvez-vous penser -mourir vous, mon maitre, qui etes immortel!' Spontini retorted angrily, -'Ne faites pas de mauvaises plaisanteries!' In spite of all the -extraordinary experiences I had had with him, the news of his death, -which I received in Zurich, touched me very deeply. Later on I -expressed my feelings towards him, and my opinion of him as an artist, -in a somewhat condensed form in the Eidgenossischen Zeitung, and in -this article the quality I extolled more particularly in him was that, -unlike Meyerbeer, who was then the rage, and the very aged Rossini, he -believed absolutely in himself and his art. All the same, and somewhat -to my disgust, I could not but see that this belief in himself had -deteriorated into a veritable superstition. - -I do not remember in those days having gone deeply into my feelings -about Spontini's exceedingly strange individuality, nor do I recollect -having troubled to discover how far they were consistent with the high -opinion I formed of him after I had got to know him more intimately. -Obviously I had only seen the caricature of the man, although the -tendency towards such plainly overweening self-confidence may, at all -events, have manifested itself earlier in life. At the same time, one -could trace in all this the influence of the decay of the musical and -dramatic life of the period, which Spontini, situated as he was in -Berlin, was well able to witness. The surprising fact that he saw his -chief merit in unessential details showed plainly that his judgment had -become childish; in my opinion this did not detract from the great -value of his works, however much he might exaggerate their value. In a -sense I could justify his boundless self-confidence, which was -principally the outcome of the comparison between himself and the great -composers who were now replacing him; for in my heart of hearts I -shared the contempt which he felt for these artists, although I did not -dare to say so openly. And thus it came about that, in spite of his -many somewhat absurd idiosyncrasies, I learned during this meeting at -Dresden to feel a deep sympathy for this man, the like of whom I was -never again to meet. - -My next experiences of important musical celebrities of this age were -of quite a different character. Amongst the more distinguished of these -was Heinrich Marschner, who, as a very young man, had been nominated -musical director of the Dresden orchestra by Weber. After Weber's death -he seemed to have hoped that he would take his place entirely, and it -was due less to the fact that his talent was still unknown, than to his -repellent manner, that he was disappointed in his expectations. His -wife, however, suddenly came into some money, and this windfall enabled -him to devote all his energies to his work as composer of operas, -without being obliged to fill any fixed post. - -During the wild days of my youth Marschner lived in Leipzig, where his -operas Der Vampir and Templer und Judin saw their first appearance. My -sister Rosalie had once taken me to him in order to hear his opinion -about me. He did not treat me uncivilly, but my visit led to nothing. I -was also present at the first night of his opera Des Falkner's Braut, -which however was not a success. Then he went to Hanover. His opera -Hans Heiling, which was originally produced in Berlin, I heard for the -first time in Wurzburg; it showed vacillation in its tendency, and a -decrease in constructive power. After that he produced several other -operas, such as Das Schloss am Aetna and Der Babu, which never became -popular. He was always neglected by the management at Dresden, as -though they bore him some grudge, and only his Templer was played at -all often. My colleague, Reissiger, had to conduct this opera, and as -in his absence I always had to take his place, it also fell to my lot -on one occasion to direct a performance of this work. - -This was during the time that I worked at my Tannhauser. I remember -that, although I had often conducted this opera before in Magdeburg, on -this occasion the wild nature of the instrumentation and its lack of -mastership affected me to such an extent that it literally made me ill, -and as soon as he returned, therefore, I implored Reissiger at any cost -to resume the leadership. On the other hand, immediately after my -nomination I had started on the production of Hans Heiling, but merely -for the sake of the artistic honour. The insufficient distribution of -the parts, however, a difficulty which in those days could not be -overcome, made a complete success impossible. In any case, though, the -whole spirit of the work seemed to be terribly old-fashioned. - -I now heard that Marschner had finished another opera called Adolph von -Nassau, and in a criticism of this work, of the genuineness of which I -was unable to judge, particular stress was laid upon the 'patriotic and -noble German atmosphere' of this new creation. I did my best to make -the Dresden theatre take the initiative, and to urge Luttichau to -secure this opera before it was produced elsewhere. Marschner, who did -not seem to have been treated with particular consideration by the -Hanoverian opera authorities, accepted the invitation with great joy, -sent his score, and declared himself willing to come to Dresden for the -first performance. Luttichau, however, was not anxious to see him take -his place at the head of the orchestra; while I, also, was of the -opinion that the too frequent appearance of outside conductors, even if -it were for the purpose of conducting their own works, would not only -lead to confusion, but might also fail to be as amusing and instructive -as Spontini's visit had proved to be. It was therefore decided that I -should conduct the new opera myself. And how I lived to regret it! - -The score arrived: to a weak plot by Karl Golmick the composer of the -Templer had written such superficial music, that the principal effect -lay in a drinking song for a quartette, in which the German Rhine and -German wine played the usual stereotyped part peculiar to such male -quartettes. I lost all courage; but we had to go on with it now, and -all I could do was to try, by maintaining a grave bearing, to make the -singers take an interest in their task; this, however, was not easy. To -Tichatschek and Mitterwurzer were assigned the two principal male -parts; being both eminently musical, they sang everything at first -sight, and after each number looked up at me as if to say, 'What do you -think of it all?' I maintained that it was good German music; they must -not allow themselves to get confused. But all they did was to stare at -each other in amazement, not knowing what to make of me. Nevertheless, -in the end they could not stand it any longer, and when they saw that I -still retained my gravity, they burst into loud laughter, in which I -could not help joining. - -I now had to take them into my confidence, and make them promise to -follow my lead and pretend to be serious, for it was impossible to give -up the opera at this stage. A Viennese 'colorature' singer of the -latest style--Madame Spatser Gentiluomo--who came to us from Hanover, -and on whose services Marschner greatly relied, was rather taken with -her part chiefly because it gave her the chance of showing -'brilliancy.' And, indeed, there was a finale in which my 'German -master' had actually tried to steal a march on Donizetti. The Princess -had been poisoned by a golden rose, a present from the wicked Bishop of -Mainz, and had become delirious. Adolph von Nassau, with the knights of -the German empire, swears vengeance, and, accompanied by the chorus, -pours out his feelings in a stretta of such incredible vulgarity and -amateurishness that Donizetti would have thrown it at the head of any -of his pupils who had dared to compose such a thing. Marschner now -arrived for the dress rehearsal; he was very pleased, and, without -compelling me to falsehood, he gave me sufficient opportunities for -exercising my powers in the art of concealing my real thoughts. At all -events I must have succeeded fairly well, for he had every reason to -think himself considerately and kindly treated by me. - -During the performance the public behaved very much as the singers had -done at the rehearsals. We had brought a still-born child into the -world. But Marschner was comforted by the fact that his drinking -quartette was encored. This was reminiscent of one of Becker's songs: -Sie sollen ihn nicht haben, den freien deutschen Rhein ('They shall not -have it, our free German Rhine'). After the performance the composer -was my guest at a supper party at which, I am sorry to say, the -singers, who had had enough of it, would not attend. Herr Ferdinand -Hiller had the presence of mind to insist, in his toast to Marschner, -that 'whatever one might say, all stress must be laid on the GERMAN -master and GERMAN art.' Strangely enough, Marschner himself -contradicted him by saying that there was something wrong with German -operatic compositions, and that one ought to consider the singers and -how to write more brilliantly for their voices than he had succeeded in -doing up to the present. - -Highly gifted as Marschner was, there can be no doubt that the decline -of his genius was due partly to a tendency which even in the ageing -master himself, as he frankly admitted, was effecting an important and -most salutary change. In later years I met him once more in Paris at -the time of my memorable production of Tannhauser. I did not feel -inclined to renew the old relations, for, to tell the truth, I wanted -to spare myself the unpleasantness of witnessing the consequences of -his change of views, of which we had seen the beginning in Dresden. I -learned that he was in a state of almost helpless childishness, and -that he was in the hands of a young and ambitious woman, who was trying -to make a last attempt at conquering Paris for him. Among other puff -paragraphs calculated to spread Marschner's glory, I read one which -said that the Parisians must not believe that I (Wagner) was -representative of German art; no--if only Marschner were given a -hearing, it would be discovered that he was beyond a doubt better -suited to the French taste than I could ever be. Marschner died before -his wife had succeeded in establishing this point. - -Ferdinand Hiller, on the other hand, who was in Dresden, behaved in a -very charming and friendly manner, particularly at this time. Meyerbeer -also stayed in the same town from time to time; precisely why, nobody -knew. Once he had rented a little house for the summer near the -Pirnaischer Schlag, and under a pretty tree in the garden of this place -he had had a small piano installed, whereon, in this idyllic retreat, -he worked at his Feldlager in Schlesien. He lived in great retirement, -and I saw very little of him. Ferdinand Hiller, on the contrary, took a -commanding position in the Dresden musical world in so far as this was -not already monopolised by the royal orchestra and its masters, and for -many years he worked hard for its success. Having a little private -capital, he established himself comfortably amongst us, and was soon -known as a delightful host, who kept a pleasant house, which, thanks to -his wife's influence, was frequented by a numerous Polish colony. Frau -Hiller was indeed an exceptional Jewish woman of Polish origin, and she -was perhaps all the more exceptional seeing that she, in company with -her husband, had been baptized a Protestant in Italy. Hiller began his -career in Dresden with the production of his opera, Der Traum in der -Christnacht. Since the unheard-of fact that Rienzi had been able to -rouse the Dresden public to lasting enthusiasm, many an opera composer -had felt himself drawn towards our 'Florence on the Elbe,' of which -Laube once said that as soon as one entered it one felt bound to -apologise because one found so many good things there which one -promptly forgot the moment one departed. - -The composer of Der Traum in der Christnacht looked upon this work as a -peculiarly 'German composition.' Hiller had set to music a gruesome -play by Raupach, Der Muller und sein Kind ('The Miller and his Child'), -in which father and daughter, within but a short space of time, both -die of consumption. He declared that he had conceived the dialogue and -the music of this opera in what he called the 'popular style,' but this -work met with the same fate as that which, according to Liszt, befell -all his compositions. In spite of his undoubted musical merits, which -even Rossini acknowledged, and whether he gave them in French in Paris -or in Italian in Italy, it was his sad experience always to see his -operas fail. In Germany he had tried the Mendelssohnian style, and had -succeeded in composing an oratorio called Die Zerstorung Jerusalems, -which luckily was not taken notice of by the moody theatre-going -public, and which consequently received the unassailable reputation of -being 'a solid German work.' He also took Mendelssohn's place as -director of the Leipzig Gewandhaus concerts when the latter was called -to Berlin in the capacity of general director. Hiller's evil fortune -still pursued him, however, and he was unable to retain his position, -everybody being given to understand that it was because his wife was -not sufficiently acknowledged as concert prima-donna. Mendelssohn -returned and made Hiller leave, and Hiller boasted of having quarrelled -with him. - -Dresden and the success of my Rienzi now weighed so much upon his mind -that he naturally made another attempt to succeed as an opera composer. -Owing to his great energy, and to his position as son of a rich banker -(a special attraction even to the director of a court theatre), it -happened that he induced them to put aside my poor friend Rockel's -Farinelli (the production of which had been promised him) in favour of -his (Hiller's) own work, Der Traum in der Christnacht. He was of the -opinion that next to Reissiger and myself, a man of greater musical -reputation than Rockel was needed. Luttichau, however, was quite -content to have Reissiger and myself as celebrities, particularly as we -got on so well together, and he remained deaf to Hiller's wishes. To me -Der Traum in der Christnacht was a great nuisance. I had to conduct it -a second time, and before an empty house. Hiller now saw that he had -been wrong in not taking my advice before, and in not shortening the -opera by one act and altering the end, and he now fancied that he was -doing me a great favour by at last declaring himself ready to act on my -suggestion in the event of another performance of his opera being -possible. I really managed to have it played once more. This was, -however, to be the last time, and Hiller, who had read my book of -Tannhauser, thought that I had a great advantage over him in writing my -own words. He therefore made me promise to help him with the choice and -writing of a subject for his next opera. - -Shortly afterwards Hiller was present at a performance of Rienzi, which -was again given before a crowded and enthusiastic house. When, at the -end of the second act, and after frantic recalls from the audience, I -left the orchestra in a great state of excitement, Hiller, who was -waiting for me in the passage, took the opportunity of adding to his -very hasty congratulations, 'Do give my Traum once more!' I promised -him laughingly to do this if I had the chance, but I cannot remember -whether it came off or not. While he was waiting for the creation of an -entirely new plot for his next opera, Hiller devoted himself to the -study of chamber music, to which his large and well-furnished room lent -itself most admirably. - -A beautiful and solemn event added to the seriousness of the mood in -which I finished the music to Tannhauser towards the end of the year, -and neutralised the more superficial impressions made upon me by the -stirring events above described. This was the removal of the remains of -Carl Maria von Weber from London to Dresden in December, 1844. As I -have already said, a committee had for years been agitating for this -removal. From information given by a certain traveller, it had become -known that the insignificant coffin which contained Weber's ashes had -been disposed of in such a careless way in a remote corner of St. -Paul's, that it was feared it might soon become impossible to identify -it. - -My energetic friend, Professor Lowe, whom I have already mentioned, had -availed himself of this information in order to urge the Dresden Glee -Club, which constituted his hobby, to take the matter in hand. The -concert of male singers arranged to this end had been a fair success -financially, and they now wanted to induce the theatre management to -make similar efforts, when suddenly they met with serious opposition -from this very quarter. The management of the Dresden theatre told the -committee that the King had religious scruples with regard to -disturbing the peace of the dead. However much we felt inclined to -doubt the genuineness of these reasons, nothing could be done, and I -was next approached on the subject, in the hope that my influential -position might lend weight to my appeal. I entered into the spirit of -the enterprise with great fervour. I consented to be made president; -Herr Hofrat Schulz, director of the 'Antiken-Cabinet,' who was a -well-known authority on artistic matters, and another gentleman, a -Christian banker, were also elected members of the committee, and the -movement thus received fresh life. Prospectuses were sent round, -exhaustive plans were made, and numerous meetings held. Here, again, I -met with opposition on the part of my chief, Luttichau; if he could -have done so, he would have forbidden me to move in the matter by -making the most of the King's scruples referred to above. But he had -had a warning not to pick a quarrel with me after his experience in the -summer, when, contrary to his expectations, the music written by me to -celebrate the King's arrival had found favour with the monarch. As his -antipathy to the proceedings was not so very serious, Luttichau must -have seen that even the direct opposition of his Majesty could not have -prevented the enterprise from being carried out privately, and that, on -the contrary, the court would cut a sorry figure if the Royal Court -Theatre (to which Weber once belonged) should assume a hostile -attitude. He therefore tried in a would-be friendly way to make me -desist from furthering the cause, well knowing that, without me, the -plan would fail. He tried to convince me that it would be wrong to pay -this exaggerated honour to Weber's memory, whereas nobody thought of -removing the ashes of Morlacchi from Italy, although the latter had -given his services to the royal orchestra for a much longer period than -Weber had done. What would be the consequence? By way of argument he -said, 'Suppose Reissiger died on his journey to some -watering-place--his wife would then be as much justified as was Frau -von Weber (who had annoyed him quite enough already) in expecting her -husband's dead body to be brought home with music and pomp.' I tried to -calm him, and if I did not succeed in making him see the difference -between Reissiger and Weber, I managed to make him understand that the -affair must take its course, as the Berlin Court Theatre had already -announced a benefit performance to support our undertaking. - -Meyerbeer, to whom my committee had applied, was instrumental in -bringing this about, and a performance of Euryanthe was actually given -which yielded the handsome balance of six thousand marks. A few -theatres of lesser importance now followed our lead. The Dresden Court -Theatre, therefore, could not hold back any longer, and as we now had a -fairly large sum at the bank, we were able to cover the expenses of the -removal, as well as the cost of an appropriate vault and monument; we -even had a nucleus fund for a statue of Weber, which we were to fight -for later on. The elder of the two sons of the immortal master -travelled to London to fetch the remains of his father. He brought them -by boat down the Elbe, and finally arrived at the Dresden -landing-stage, from whence they were to be conducted to German soil. -This last journey of the remains was to take place at night. A solemn -torchlight procession was to be formed, and I had undertaken to see to -the funeral music. - -I arranged this from two motives out of Euryanthe, using that part of -the music in the overture which relates to the vision of spirits. I -introduced the Cavatina from Euryanthe--Hier dicht am Quell ('Here near -the source'), which I left unaltered, except that I transposed it into -B flat major, and I finished the whole, as Weber finished his opera, by -a return to the first sublime motive. I had orchestrated this symphonic -piece, which was well suited to the purpose, for eight chosen wind -instruments, and notwithstanding the volume of sound, I had not -forgotten softness and delicacy of instrumentation. I substituted the -gruesome tremolo of the violas, which appears in that part of the -overture adapted by me, by twenty muffled drums, and as a whole -attained to such an exceedingly impressive effect, especially to us who -were full of thoughts of Weber, that, even in the theatre where we -rehearsed, Schroder-Devrient, who was present, and who had been an -intimate friend of Weber's, was deeply moved. I had never carried out -anything more in keeping with the character of the subject; and the -procession through the town was equally impressive. - -As the very slow tempo, devoid of any strongly marked accents, offered -numerous difficulties, I had had the stage cleared for the rehearsal, -in order to command a sufficient space for the musicians, once they had -thoroughly practised the piece, to walk round me in a circle playing -all the while. Several of those who witnessed the procession from their -windows assured me that the effect of the procession was indescribably -and sublimely solemn. After we had placed the coffin in the little -mortuary chapel of the Catholic cemetery in Friedrichstadt, where -Madame Devrient met it with a wreath of flowers, we performed, on the -following morning, the solemn ceremony of lowering it into the vault. -Herr Hofrat Schulz and myself, as presidents of the committee, were -allowed the honour of speaking by the graveside, and what afforded me -an appropriate subject for the few, somewhat affecting, words which I -had to pronounce, was the fact that, shortly before the removal of -Weber's remains, the second son of the master, Alexander von Weber, had -died. The poor mother had been so terribly affected by the sudden death -of this youth, so full of life and health, that had we not been in the -very midst of our arrangements, we should have been compelled to -abandon them; for in this new loss the widow saw a judgment of God who, -in her opinion, looked upon the removal of the remains as an act of -sacrilege prompted by vanity. As the public seemed particularly -disposed to hold the same view, it fell to my lot to set the nature of -our undertaking in the proper light before the eyes of the world. And -this I so far succeeded in doing that, to my satisfaction, I learned -from all sides that my justification of our action had received the -most general acceptance. - -On this occasion I had a strange experience with regard to myself, when -for the first time in my life I had to deliver a solemn public speech. -Since then I have always spoken extemporarily; this time, however, as -it was my first appearance as an orator, I had written out my speech, -and carefully learned it by heart. As I was thoroughly under the -influence of my subject, I felt so sure of my memory that I never -thought of making any notes. Thanks to this omission, however, I made -my brother Albert very unhappy. He was standing near me at the -ceremony, and he told me afterwards that, in spite of being deeply -moved, he felt at one moment as if he could have sworn at me for not -having asked him to prompt me. It happened in this way: I began my -speech in a clear and full voice, but suddenly the sound of my own -words, and their particular intonation, affected me to such an extent -that, carried away as I was by my own thoughts, I imagined I SAW as -well as HEARD myself before the breathless multitude. While I thus -appeared objectively to myself I remained in a sort of trance, during -which I seemed to be waiting for something to happen, and felt quite a -different person from the man who was supposed to be standing and -speaking there. It was neither nervousness nor absent-mindedness on my -part; only at the end of a certain sentence there was such a long pause -that those who saw me standing there must have wondered what on earth -to think of me. At last my own silence and the stillness round me -reminded me that I was not there to listen, but to speak. I at once -resumed my discourse, and I spoke with such fluency to the very end -that the celebrated actor, Emil Devrient, assured me that, apart from -the solemn service, he had been deeply impressed simply from the -standpoint of a dramatic orator. - -The ceremony concluded with a poem written and set to music by myself, -and, though it presented many difficulties for men's voices, it was -splendidly rendered by some of the best opera singers. Luttichau, who -was present, was now not only convinced of the justice of the -enterprise, but also strongly in favour of it. I was deeply thankful -that everything had succeeded so well, and when Weber's widow, upon -whom I called after the ceremony, told me how profoundly she, too, had -been moved, the only cloud that still darkened my horizon was -dispelled. In my youth I had learned to love music through my -admiration for Weber's genius, and the news of his death was a terrible -blow to me. To have, as it were, come into contact with him again and -after so many years by this second funeral, was an event that stirred -the very depths of my being. - -From all the particulars I have given concerning my intimacy with the -great masters who were my contemporaries, it is easy to see at what -sources I had been able to quench my thirst for intellectual -intercourse. It was not a very satisfactory outlook to turn from -Weber's grave to his living successors; but I had still to find out how -absolutely hopeless this was. - -I spent the winter of 1844-5 partly in yielding to attractions from -outside, and partly in indulging in the deepest meditation. By dint of -great energy, and by getting up very early, even in winter, I succeeded -in completing my score to Tannhauser early in April, having, as already -stated, finished the composition of it at the end of the preceding -year. In writing down the orchestration I made things particularly -difficult for myself by using the specially prepared paper which the -printing process renders necessary, and which involved me in all kinds -of trying formalities. I had each page transferred to the stone -immediately, and a hundred copies printed from each, hoping to make use -of these proofs for the rapid circulation of my work. Whether my hopes -were to be fulfilled or not, I was at all events fifteen hundred marks -out of pocket when all the expenses of the publication were paid. - -In regard to this work which called for so many sacrifices, and which -was so slow and difficult, more details will appear in my -autobiography. At all events, when May came round I was in possession -of a hundred neatly bound copies of my first new work since the -production of the Fliegender Hollander, and Hiller, to whom I showed -some parts of it, formed a tolerably good impression of its value. - -These plans for rapidly spreading the fame of my Tannhauser were made -with the hope of a success which, in view of my needy circumstances, -seemed ever more and more desirable. In the course of one year since I -had begun my own publication of my operas, much had been done to this -end. In September of the year 1844 I had presented the King of Saxony -with a special richly bound copy of the complete pianoforte arrangement -of Rienzi, dedicated to his Majesty. The Fliegender Hollander had also -been finished, and the pianoforte arrangement of Rienzi for duet, as -well as some songs selected from both operas, had either been published -or were about to be published. Apart from this I had had twenty-five -copies made of the scores of both these operas by means of the -so-called autographic transfer process, although only from the writing -of the copyists. All these heavy expenses made it absolutely imperative -that I should try to send my scores to the different theatres, and -induce them to produce my operas, as the outlay on the piano scores had -been heavy, and these could only have a sale if my works got to be -known sufficiently well through the theatre. - -I now sent the score of my Rienzi to the more important theatres, but -they all returned my work to me, the Munich Court Theatre even sending -it back unopened! I therefore knew what to expect, and spared myself -the trouble of sending my Dutchman. From a speculative business point -of view the situation was this: the hoped-for success of Tannhauser -would bring in its wake a demand for my earlier works. The worthy -Meser, my agent, who was the music publisher appointed to the court, -had also begun to feel a little doubtful, and saw that this was the -only thing to do. I started at once on the publication of a pianoforte -arrangement of Tannhauser, preparing it myself while Rockel undertook -the Fliegender Hollander, and a certain Klink did Rienzi. - -The only thing that Meser was absolutely opposed to was the title of my -new opera, which I had just named Der Venusberg; he maintained that, as -I did not mix with the public, I had no idea what horrible jokes were -made about this title. He said the students and professors of the -medical school in Dresden would be the first to make fun of it, as they -had a predilection for that kind of obscene joke. I was sufficiently -disgusted by these details to consent to the change. To the name of my -hero, Tannhauser, I added the name of the subject of the legend which, -although originally not belonging to the Tannhauser myth, was thus -associated with it by me, a fact which later on Simrock, the great -investigator and innovator in the world of legend, whom I esteemed so -highly, took very much amiss. - -Tannhauser und der Sangerkrieg auf Wartburg should henceforth be its -title, and to give the work a mediaeval appearance I had the words -specially printed in Gothic characters upon the piano arrangement, and -in this way introduced the work to the public. - - -The extra expenses this involved were very heavy; but I went to great -pains to impress Meser with my belief in the success of my work. So -deeply were we involved in this scheme, and so great were the -sacrifices it had compelled us to make, that there was nothing else for -it but to trust to a special turn of Fortune's wheel. As it happened, -the management of the theatre shared my confidence in the success of -Tannhauser. I had induced Luttichau to have the scenery for Tannhauser -painted by the best painters of the great opera house in Paris. I had -seen their work on the Dresden stage: it belonged to the style of -German scenic art which was then fashionable, and really gave the -effect of first-class work. - -The order for this, as well as the necessary negotiations with the -Parisian painter, Desplechin, had already been settled in the preceding -autumn. The management agreed to all my wishes, even to the ordering of -beautiful costumes of mediaeval character designed by my friend Heine. -The only thing Luttichau constantly postponed was the order for the -Hall of Song on the Wartburg; he maintained that the Hall for Kaiser -Karl the Great in Oberon, which had only recently been delivered by -some French painters, would answer the purpose just as well. With -superhuman efforts I had to convince my chief that we did not want a -brilliant throne-room, but a scenic picture of a certain character such -as I saw before my mind's eye, and that it could be painted only -according to my directions. As in the end I became very irritable and -cross, he soothed me by saying that he had no objection to having this -scene painted, and that he would order it to be commenced at once, -adding that he had not agreed immediately, only with the view of making -my joy the greater, because, what one obtained without difficulty, one -rarely appreciated. This Hall of Song was fated to cause me great -trouble later on. - -Thus everything was in full swing; circumstances were favourable, and -seemed to cast a hopeful light upon the production of my new work at -the beginning of the autumn season. Even the public was looking forward -to it, and for the first time I saw my name mentioned in a friendly -manner in a communication to the Allgemeine Zeitung. They actually -spoke of the great expectations they had of my new work, the poem of -which had been written 'with undoubted poetic feeling.' - -Full of hope, I started in July on my holiday, which consisted of a -journey to Marienbad in Bohemia, where my wife and I intended to take -the cure. Again I found myself on the 'volcanic' soil of this -extraordinary country, Bohemia, which always had such an inspiring -effect on me. It was a marvellous summer, almost too hot, and I was -therefore in high spirits. I had intended to follow the easy-going mode -of life which is a necessary part of this somewhat trying treatment, -and had selected my books with care, taking with me the poems of -Wolfram von Eschenbach, edited by Simrock and San Marte, as well as the -anonymous epic Lohengrin, with its lengthy introduction by Gorres. With -my book under my arm I hid myself in the neighbouring woods, and -pitching my tent by the brook in company with Titurel and Parcival, I -lost myself in Wolfram's strange, yet irresistibly charming, poem. -Soon, however, a longing seized me to give expression to the -inspiration generated by this poem, so that I had the greatest -difficulty in overcoming my desire to give up the rest I had been -prescribed while partaking of the water of Marienbad. - -The result was an ever-increasing state of excitement. Lohengrin, the -first conception of which dates from the end of my time in Paris, stood -suddenly revealed before me, complete in every detail of its dramatic -construction. The legend of the swan which forms such an important -feature of all the many versions of this series of myths that my -studies had brought to my notice, exercised a singular fascination over -my imagination. - -Remembering the doctor's advice, I struggled bravely against the -temptation of writing down my ideas, and resorted to the most strange -and energetic methods. Owing to some comments I had read in Gervinus's -History of German Literature, both the Meistersinger von Nurnberg and -Hans Sachs had acquired quite a vital charm for me. The Marker alone, -and the part he takes in the Master-singing, were particularly pleasing -to me, and on one of my lonely walks, without knowing anything -particular about Hans Sachs and his poetic contemporaries, I thought -out a humorous scene, in which the cobbler--as a popular -artisan-poet--with the hammer on his last, gives the Marker a practical -lesson by making him sing, thereby taking revenge on him for his -conventional misdeeds. To me the force of the whole scene was -concentrated in the two following points: on the one hand the Marker, -with his slate covered with chalk-marks, and on the other Hans Sachs -holding up the shoes covered with his chalk-marks, each intimating to -the other that the singing had been a failure. To this picture, by way -of concluding the second act, I added a scene consisting of a narrow, -crooked little street in Nuremberg, with the people all running about -in great excitement, and ultimately engaging in a street brawl. Thus, -suddenly, the whole of my Meistersinger comedy took shape so vividly -before me, that, inasmuch as it was a particularly cheerful subject, -and not in the least likely to over-excite my nerves, I felt I must -write it out in spite of the doctor's orders. I therefore proceeded to -do this, and hoped it might free me from the thrall of the idea of -Lohengrin; but I was mistaken; for no sooner had I got into my bath at -noon, than I felt an overpowering desire to write out Lohengrin, and -this longing so overcame me that I could not wait the prescribed hour -for the bath, but when a few minutes elapsed, jumped out and, barely -giving myself time to dress, ran home to write out what I had in my -mind. I repeated this for several days until the complete sketch of -Lohengrin was on paper. - -The doctor then told me I had better give up taking the waters and -baths, saying emphatically that I was quite unfit for such cures. My -excitement had grown to such an extent that even my efforts to sleep as -a rule ended only in nocturnal adventures. Among some interesting -excursions that we made at this time, one to Eger fascinated me -particularly, on account of its association with Wallenstein and of the -peculiar costumes of the inhabitants. - -In mid-August we travelled back to Dresden, where my friends were glad -to see me in such good spirits; as for myself, I felt as if I had -wings. In September, when all our singers had returned from their -summer holidays, I resumed the rehearsals of Tannhauser with great -earnestness. We had now got so far, at least with the musical part of -the performance, that the possible date of the production seemed quite -close at hand. Schroder-Devrient was one of the first to realise the -extraordinary difficulties which the production of Tannhauser would -entail. And, indeed, she saw these difficulties so clearly that, to my -great discomfiture, she was able to lay them all before me. Once, when -I called upon her, she read the principal passages aloud with great -feeling and force, and then she asked me how I could have been so -simple-minded as to have thought that so childish a creature as -Tichatschek would be able to find the proper tones for Tannhauser. I -tried to bring her attention and my own to bear upon the nature of the -music, which was written so clearly in order to bring out the necessary -accent, that, in my opinion, the music actually spoke for him who -interpreted the passage, even if he were only a musical singer and -nothing more. She shook her head, saying that this would be all right -in the case of an oratorio. - -She now sang Elizabeth's prayer from the piano score, and asked me if I -really thought that this music would answer my intentions if sung by a -young and pretty voice without any soul or without that experience of -life which alone could give the real expression to the interpretation. -I sighed and said that, in that case, the youthfulness of the voice and -of its owner must make up for what was lacking: at the same time, I -asked her as a favour to see what she could do towards making my niece, -Johanna, understand her part. All this, however, did not solve the -Tannhauser problem, for any effort at teaching Tichatschek would only -have resulted in confusion. I was therefore obliged to rely entirely -upon the energy of his voice, and on the singer's peculiarly sharp -'speaking' tone. - -Devrient's anxiety about the principal parts arose partly out of -concern about her own. She did not know what to do with the part of -Venus; she had undertaken it for the sake of the success of the -performance, for although a small part, so much depended upon its being -ideally interpreted! Later on, when the work was given in Paris, I -became convinced that this part had been written in too sketchy a -style, and this induced me to reconstruct it by making extensive -additions, and by supplying all that which I felt it lacked. For the -moment, however, it looked as if no art on the part of the singer could -give to this sketch anything of what it ought to represent. The only -thing that might have helped towards a satisfactory impersonation of -Venus would have been the artist's confidence in her own great physical -attraction, and in the effect it would help to produce by appealing to -the purely material sympathies of the public. The certainty that these -means were no longer at her disposal paralysed this great singer, who -could hide her age and matronly appearance no longer. She therefore -became self-conscious, and unable to use even the usual means for -gaining an effect. On one occasion, with a little smile of despair, she -expressed herself incapable of playing Venus, for the very simple -reason that she could not appear dressed like the goddess. 'What on -earth am I to wear as Venus?' she exclaimed. 'After all, I cannot be -clad in a belt alone. A nice figure of fun I should look, and you would -laugh on the wrong side of your face!' - -On the whole, I still built my hopes upon the general effect of the -music alone, the great promise of which at the rehearsals greatly -encouraged me. Hiller, who had looked through the score and had already -praised it, assured me that the instrumentation could not have been -carried out with greater sobriety. The characteristic and delicate -sonority of the orchestra delighted me, and strengthened me in my -resolve to be extremely sparing in the use of my orchestral material, -in order to attain that abundance of combinations which I needed for my -later works. - -At the rehearsal my wife alone missed the trumpets and trombones that -gave such brightness and freshness to Rienzi. Although I laughed at -this, I could not help feeling anxious when she confided to me how -great had been her disappointment when, at the theatre rehearsal, she -noticed the really feeble impression made by the music of the -Sangerkrieg. Speaking from the point of view of the public, who always -want to be amused or stirred in some way or other, she had thus very -rightly called attention to an exceedingly questionable side of the -performance. But I saw at once that the fault lay less with the -conception than with the fact that I had not controlled the production -with sufficient care. - -In regard to the conception of this scene I was literally on the horns -of a dilemma, for I had to decide once for all whether this Sangerkrieg -was to be a concert of arias or a competition in dramatic poetry. There -are many people even nowadays, who, in spite of having witnessed a -perfectly successful production of this scene, have not received the -right impression of its purport. Their idea is that it belongs to the -traditional operatic 'genre,' which demands that a number of vocal -evolutions shall be juxtaposed or contrasted, and that these different -songs are intended to amuse and interest the audience by means of their -purely musical changes in rhythm and time on the principle of a concert -programme, i.e. by various items of different styles. This was not at -all my idea: my real intention was, if possible, to force the listener, -for the first time in the history of opera, to take an interest in a -poetical idea, by making him follow all its necessary developments. For -it was only by virtue of this interest that he could be made to -understand the catastrophe, which in this instance was not to be -brought about by any outside influence, but must be the outcome simply -of the natural spiritual processes at work. Hence the need of great -moderation and breadth in the conception of the music; first, in order -that according to my principle it might prove helpful rather than the -reverse to the understanding of the poetical lines, and secondly, in -order that the increasing rhythmic character of the melody which marks -the ardent growth of passion may not be interrupted too arbitrarily by -unnecessary changes in modulation and rhythm. Hence, too, the need of a -very sparing use of orchestral instruments for the accompaniment, and -an intentional suppression of all those purely musical effects which -must be utilised, and that gradually, only when the situation becomes -so intense that one almost ceases to think, and can only feel the -tragic nature of the crisis. No one could deny that I had contrived to -produce the proper effect of this principle the moment I played the -Sangerkrieg on the piano. With the view of ensuring all my future -successes, I was now confronted with the exceptional difficulty of -making the opera singers understand how to interpret their parts -precisely in the way I desired. I remembered how, through lack of -experience, I had neglected properly to superintend the production of -the Fliegender Hollander, and as I now fully realised all the -disastrous consequences of this neglect, I began to think of means by -which I could teach the singers my own interpretation. I have already -stated that it was impossible to influence Tichatschek, for if he were -made to do things he could not understand, he only became nervous and -confused. He was conscious of his advantages. He knew that with his -metallic voice he could sing with great musical rhythm and accuracy, -while his delivery was simply perfect. But, to my great astonishment, I -was soon to learn that all this did not by any means suffice; for, to -my horror, at the first performance, that which had strangely escaped -my notice in the rehearsals became suddenly apparent to me. At the -close of the Sangerkrieg, when Tannhauser (in frantic excitement, and -forgetful of everybody present) has to sing his praise to Venus, and I -saw Tichatschek moving towards Elizabeth and addressing his passionate -outburst to her, I thought of Schroder-Devrient's warning in very much -the same way as Croesus must have thought when he cried, 'O Solon! -Solon!' at the funeral pyre. In spite of the musical excellence of -Tichatschek, the enormous life and melodic charm of the Sangerkrieg -failed entirely. - -On the other hand, I succeeded in calling into life an entirely new -element such as probably had never been seen in opera! I had watched -the young baritone Mitterwurzer with great interest in some of his -parts--he was a strangely reticent man, and not at all sociably -inclined, and I had noticed that his delightfully mellow voice -possessed the rare quality of bringing out the inner note of the soul. -To him I entrusted Wolfram, and I had every reason to be satisfied with -his zeal and with the success of his studies. Therefore, if I wished my -intention and method to become known, especially in regard to this -difficult Sangerkrieg, I had to rely on him for the proper execution of -my plans and everything they involved. I began by going through the -opening song of this scene with him; but, after I had done my utmost to -make him understand how I wanted it done, I was surprised to find how -very difficult this particular rendering of the music appeared to him. -He was absolutely incapable of repeating it after me, and with each -renewed effort his singing became so commonplace and so mechanical that -I realised clearly that he had not understood this piece to be anything -more than a phrase in recitative form, which he might render with any -inflections of the voice that happened to be prescribed, or which might -be sung either this way or that, according to fancy, as was usual in -operatic pieces. He, too, was astonished at his own want of capacity, -but was so struck by the novelty and the justice of my views, that he -begged me not to try any more for the present, but to leave him to find -out for himself how best to become familiar with this newly revealed -world. During several rehearsals he only sang in a whisper in order to -get over the difficulty, but at the last rehearsal he acquitted himself -so admirably of his task, and threw himself into it so heartily, that -his work has remained to this day as my most conclusive reason for -believing that, in spite of the unsatisfactory state of the world of -opera to-day, it is possible not only to find, but also properly to -train, the singer whom I should regard as indispensable for a correct -interpretation of my works. It was through the impression made by -Mitterwurzer that I ultimately succeeded in making the public -understand the whole of my work. This man, who had utterly changed -himself in bearing, look, and appearance in order to fit himself to the -role of Wolfram, had, in thus solving the problem, not only become a -thorough artist, but by his interpretation of his part had also proved -himself my saviour at the very moment when my work was threatening to -fail through the unsatisfactory result of the first performance. - -By his side the part of Elizabeth made a sweet impression. The youthful -appearance of my niece, her tall and slender form, the decidedly German -cast of her features, as well as the incomparable beauty of her voice, -with its expression of almost childlike innocence, helped her to gain -the hearts of the audience, even though her talent was more theatrical -than dramatic. She soon rose to fame by her impersonation of this part, -and often in later years, when speaking about Tannhauser performances -in which she had appeared, people used to tell me that its success had -been entirely due to her. Strange to say, in such reports people -referred principally to the charm of her acting at the moment when she -received the guests in the Wartburg Hall; and I used to account for -this by remembering the untiring efforts with which my talented brother -and I had trained her to perform this very part. And yet it was never -possible to make her understand the proper interpretation of the prayer -in the third act, and I felt inclined to say, 'O Solon! Solon!' as I -had done in the case of Tichatschek, when after the first performance I -was obliged to make a considerable cut in this solo, a proceeding which -greatly reduced its importance for ever afterwards. I heard later that -Johanna, who for a short period actually had the reputation of being a -great singer, had never succeeded in singing the prayer as it ought to -be sung, whereas a French singer, Mademoiselle Marie Sax, achieved this -in Paris to my entire satisfaction. - -In the beginning of October we had so far progressed with our -rehearsals that nothing stood in the way of an immediate production of -Tannhauser save the scenery, which was not yet complete. A few only of -the scenes ordered from Paris had arrived, and even these had come very -late. The Wartburg Valley was beautifully effective and perfect in -every detail. The inner part of the Venusberg, however, gave me much -anxiety: the painter had not understood me; he had painted clusters of -trees and statues, which reminded one of Versailles, and had placed -them in a wild cave; he had evidently not known how to combine the -weird with the alluring. I had to insist on extensive alterations, and -chiefly on the painting out of the shrubs and statues, all of which -required time. The grotto had to lie half hidden in a rosy cloud, -through which the Wartburg Valley had to loom in the distance; this was -to be done in strict obedience to my own ideas. - -The greatest misfortune, however, was to befall me in the shape of the -tardy delivery of the scenery for the Hall of Song. This was due to -great negligence on the part of the Paris artists; and we waited and -waited until every detail of the opera had been studied and studied -again ad nauseam. Daily I went to the railway station and examined all -the packages and boxes that had arrived, but there was no Hall of Song. -At last I allowed myself to be persuaded not to postpone the first -performance any longer, and I decided to use the Hall of Karl the Great -out of Oberon, originally suggested to me by Luttichau, instead of the -real thing. Considering the importance I attached to practical effect, -this entailed a great sacrifice of my personal feelings. And true -enough, when the curtain rose for the second act, the reappearance of -this throne-room, which the public had seen so often, added -considerably to the general disappointment of the audience, who had -anticipated astonishing surprises in this opera. - -On the 19th of October the first performance took place. In the morning -of that day a very beautiful young lady was introduced to me by the -leader Lipinsky. Her name was Mme. Ivalergis, and she was a niece of -the Russian Chancellor, Count von Nesselrode. Liszt had spoken to her -about me with such enthusiasm that she had travelled all the way to -Dresden especially to hear the first production of my new work. I -thought I was right in regarding this flattering visit as a good omen. -But although on this occasion she turned away from me, somewhat -perplexed and disappointed by the very unintelligible performance and -the somewhat doubtful reception with which it met, I had sufficient -cause in after-years to know how deeply this remarkable and energetic -woman had nevertheless been impressed. - -A great contrast to this visit was one I received from a peculiar man -called C. Gaillard. He was the editor of a Berlin musical paper, which -had only just started, and in which I had read with great astonishment -an entirely favourable and important criticism of my Fliegender -Hollander. Although necessity had compelled me to remain indifferent to -the attitude of the critics, yet this particular notice gave me much -pleasure, and I had invited my unknown critic to come and hear the -first production of Tannhauser in Dresden. - -This he did, and I was deeply touched to find that I had to deal with a -young man who, in spite of being threatened by consumption, and being -also exceedingly badly off, had come at my invitation, simply from a -sense of duty and honour, and not with any mercenary motive. I saw from -his knowledge and capacities that he would never be able to attain a -position of great influence, but his kindness of heart and his -extraordinarily receptive mind filled me with a feeling of profound -respect for him. A few years later I was very sorry to hear that he had -at last succumbed to the terrible disease from which I knew him to be -suffering; for to the very end he remained faithful and devoted to me, -in spite of the most trying circumstances. - -Meanwhile I had renewed my acquaintance with the friend I had won -through the production of the Fliegender Hollander in Berlin, and who -for a long time I had never had an opportunity of knowing more -thoroughly. The second time I met her was at Schroder-Devrient's, with -whom she was already on friendly terms, and of whom she used to speak -as 'one of my greatest conquests.' - -She was already past her first youth, and had no beauty of feature -except remarkably penetrating and expressive eyes that showed the -greatness of soul with which she was gifted. She was the sister of -Frommann, the bookseller of Jena, and could relate many intimate facts -about Goethe, who had stayed at her brother's house when he was in that -town. She had held the position of reader and companion to the Princess -Augusta of Prussia, and had thus become intimately acquainted with her, -and was regarded by her own association as almost a bosom friend and -confidante of that great lady. Nevertheless, she lived in extreme -poverty, and seemed proud of being able, by means of her talent as a -painter of arabesques, to secure for herself some sort of independence. -She always remained faithfully devoted to me, as she was one of the few -who were uninfluenced by the unfavourable impression produced by the -first performance of Tannhauser, and promptly expressed her -appreciation of my latest work with the greatest enthusiasm. - -With regard to the production itself the conclusions I drew from it -were as follows: the real faults in the work, which I have already -mentioned incidentally, lay in the sketchy and clumsy portrayal of the -part of Venus, and consequently of the whole of the introductory scene -of the first act. In consequence of this defect the drama never even -rose to the level of genuine warmth, still less did it attain to the -heights of passion which, according to the poetic conception of the -part, should so strongly work upon the feelings of the audience as to -prepare them for the inevitable catastrophe in which the scene -culminates, and thus lead up to the tragic denouement. This great scene -was a complete failure, in spite of the fact that it was entrusted to -so great an actress as Schroder-Devrient, and a singer so unusually -gifted as Tichatschek. The genius of Devrient might yet have struck the -right note of passion in the scene had she not chanced to be acting -with a singer incapable of all dramatic seriousness, and whose natural -gifts only fitted him for joyous or declamatory accents, and who was -totally incapable of expressing pain and suffering. It was not until -Wolfram's touching song and the closing scene of this act were reached -that the audience showed any signs of emotion. Tichatschek wrought such -a tremendous effect in the concluding phrase by the jubilant music of -his voice that, as I was afterwards informed, the end of this first act -left the audience in a great state of enthusiasm. This was maintained, -and even exceeded in the second act, during which Elizabeth and Wolfram -made a very sympathetic impression. It was only the hero of Tannhauser -who continued to lose ground, and at last so completely failed to hold -the audience that in the final scene he almost broke down himself in -dejection, as though the failure of Tannhauser were his own. The fatal -defect of his performance lay in his inability to find the right -expression for the theme of the great Adagio passage of the finale -beginning with the words: 'To lead the sinner to salvation, the -Heaven-sent messenger drew near.' The importance of this passage I have -explained at length in my subsequent instructions for the production of -Tannhauser. Indeed, owing to Tichatschek's absolutely expressionless -rendering, which made it seem terribly long and tedious, I had to omit -it entirely from the second performance. As I did not wish to offend so -devoted and, in his way, so deserving a man as Tichatschek, I let it be -understood I had come to the conclusion that this theme was a failure. -Moreover, as Tichatschek was thought to be an actor chosen by myself to -take the parts of the heroes in my works, this passage, which was so -immeasurably vital to the opera, continued to be omitted in all the -subsequent productions of Tannhauser, as though this proceeding had -been approved and demanded by me. I therefore cherished no illusions -about the value of the subsequent universal success of this opera on -the German stage. My hero, who, in rapture as in woe, should always -have asserted his feelings with boundless energy, slunk away at the end -of the second act with the humble bearing of a penitent sinner, only to -reappear in the third with a demeanour designed to awaken the -charitable sympathy of the audience. His pronunciation of the Pope's -excommunication, however, was rendered with his usual full rhetorical -power, and it was refreshing to hear his voice dominating the -accompanying trombones. Granted that this radical defect in the hero's -acting had left the public in a doubtful and unsatisfied state of -suspense regarding the meaning of the whole, yet the mistake in the -execution of the final scene, arising from my own inexperience in this -new field of dramatic creation, undoubtedly contributed to produce a -chilling uncertainty as to the true significance of the scenic action. -In my first complete version I had made Venus, on the occasion of her -second attempt to recall her faithless lover, appear in a vision to -Tannhauser when he is in a frenzy of madness, and the awfulness of the -situation, is merely suggested by a faint roseate glow upon the distant -Horselberg. Even the definite announcement of Elizabeth's death was a -sudden inspiration on the part of Wolfram. This idea I intended to -convey to the listening audience solely by the sound of bells tolling -in the distance, and by a faint gleam of torches to attract their eyes -to the remote Wartburg. Moreover, there was a lack of precision and -clearness in the appearance of the chorus of young pilgrims, whose duty -it was to announce the miracle by their song alone. At that time I had -given them no budding staves to carry, and had unfortunately spoiled -their refrain by a tedious and unbroken monotony of accompaniment. - -When at last the curtain fell, I was under the impression, not so much -from the behaviour of the audience, which was friendly, as from my own -inward conviction, that the failure of this work was to be attributed -to the immature and unsuitable material used in its production. My -depression was extreme, and a few friends who were present after the -piece, among them my dear sister Clara and her husband, were equally -affected. That very evening I decided to remedy the defects of the -first night before the second performance. I was conscious of where the -principal fault lay, but hardly dared give expression to my conviction. -At the slightest attempt on my part to explain anything to Tichatschek -I had to abandon it, as I realised the impossibility of success, I -should only have made him so embarrassed and annoyed, that on one -pretext or another he would never have sung Tannhauser again. In order -to ensure the repetition of my opera, therefore, I took the only course -open to me by arrogating to myself all blame for the failure. I could -thus make considerable curtailments, whereby, of course, the dramatic -significance of the leading role was considerably lessened; this, -however, did not interfere with the other parts of the opera, which had -been favourably received. Consequently, although inwardly very -humiliated, I hoped to gain some advantage for my work at the second -performance, and was particularly desirous that this should take place -with as little delay as possible. But Tichatschek was hoarse, and I had -to possess my soul in patience for fully a week. - -I can hardly describe what I suffered during that time; it seemed as if -this delay would completely ruin my work. Every day that elapsed -between the first and second performance left the result of the former -more and more problematic, until at last it appeared to be a generally -acknowledged failure. While the public as a whole expressed angry -astonishment that, after the approval they had shown of my Rienzi, I -had paid no attention to their taste in writing my new work, there were -may kind and judicious friends who were utterly perplexed at its -inefficiency, the principal parts of which they had been unable to -understand, or thought were imperfectly sketched and finished. The -critics, with unconcealed joy, attacked it as ravens attack carrion -thrown out to them. Even the passions and prejudices of the day were -drawn into the controversy in order, if possible, to confuse men's -minds, and prejudice them against me. It was just at the time when the -German-Catholic agitation, set in motion by Czersky and Ronge as a -highly meritorious and liberal movement, was causing a great commotion. -It was now made out that by Tannhauser I had provoked a reactionary -tendency, and that precisely as Meyerbeer with his Huguenots had -glorified Protestantism, so I with my latest opera would glorify -Catholicism. - -The rumour that in writing Tannhauser I had been bribed by the Catholic -part was believed for a long time. While the effort was being made to -ruin my popularity by this means, I had the questionable honour of -being approached, first by letter, afterwards in person, by a certain -M. Rousseau, at that time editor of the Prussian Staatszeitung, who -wished for my friendship and help. I knew of him only in connection -with a scathing criticism of my Fliegender Hollander. He informed me -that he had been sent from Austria to further the Catholic cause in -Berlin, but that he had had so many sad experiences of the -fruitlessness of his efforts, that he was now returning to Vienna to -continue his work in this direction undisturbed, with which work I had, -by my Tannhauser, proclaimed myself fully in accord. - -That remarkable paper, the Dresdener Anzeiger, which was a local organ -for the redress of slander and scandal, daily published some fresh bit -of news to my prejudice. At last I noticed that these attacks were met -by witty and forcible little snubs, and also that encouraging comments -appeared in my favour, which for some time surprised me very much, as I -knew that only enemies and never friends interested themselves in such -cases. But I learned, to my amusement, from Rockel, that he and my -friend Heine had carried out this inspiriting campaign on my behalf. - -The ill-feeling against me in this quarter was only troublesome because -at that unfortunate period I was hindered from expressing myself -through my work. Tichatschek continued hoarse, and it was said he would -never sing in my opera again. I heard from Luttichau that, scared by -the failure of Tannhauser, he was holding himself in readiness to -countermand the order for the promised scenery for the Hall of Song, or -to cancel it altogether. I was so terrified at the cowardice which was -thus revealed, that I myself began to look upon Tannhauser as doomed. -My prospects and my whole position, when viewed in this mood, may be -readily gathered from my communications, especially those referring to -my negotiations for the publication of my works. - -This terrible week dragged out like an endless eternity. I was afraid -to look anybody in the face, but was one day obliged to go to Meser's -music shop, where I met Gottfried Semper just buying a text-book of -Tannhauser. Only a short time before I had been very much put out in -discussing this subject with him; he would listen to nothing I had to -say about the Minnesangers and Pilgrims of the Middle Ages in -connection with art, but gave me to understand that he despised me for -my choice of such material. - -While Meser assured me that no inquiry whatever had been received for -the numbers of Tannhauser already published, it was strange that my -most energetic antagonist should be the only person who had actually -bought and paid for a copy. In a peculiarly earnest and impressive -manner he remarked to me that it was necessary to be thoroughly -acquainted with the subject if a just opinion was to be passed on it, -and that for this purpose, unfortunately, nothing but the text was -available. This very meeting with Semper, strange as it may appear, was -the first really encouraging sign that I can remember. - -But I found my greatest consolation in those days of trouble and -anxiety in Rockel, who from that time forward entered into a lifelong -intimacy with me. He had, without my being aware of it, disputed, -explained, quarrelled, and petitioned on my behalf, and thereby roused -himself to a veritable enthusiasm for Tannhauser. The evening before -the second performance, which was at last to take place, we met over a -glass of beer, and his bright demeanour had such a cheering effect upon -me that we became very lively. After contemplating my head for some -time, he swore that it was impossible to destroy me, that there was a -something in me, something, probably, in my blood, as similar -characteristics also appeared in my brother Albert, who was otherwise -so unlike me. To speak more plainly, he called it the peculiar HEAT of -my temperament; this heat, he thought, might consume others, whereas I -appeared to feel at my best when it glowed most fiercely, for he had -several times seen me positively ablaze. I laughed, and did not know -what to make of his nonsense. Well, he said, I should soon see what he -meant in Tannhauser, for it was simply absurd to think the work would -not live; and he was absolutely certain of its success. I thought over -the matter on my way home, and came to the conclusion that if -Tannhauser did indeed win its way, and become really popular, -incalculable possibilities might be attained. - -At last the time arrived for our second performance. For this I thought -I had made due preparation by lessening the importance of the principal -part, and lowering my original ideals about some of the more important -portions, and I hoped by accentuating certain undoubtedly attractive -passages to secure a genuine appreciation of the whole. I was greatly -delighted with the scenery which had at last arrived for the Hall of -Song in the second act, the beautiful and imposing effect of which -cheered us all, for we looked upon it as a good omen. Unfortunately I -had to bear the humiliation of seeing the theatre nearly empty. This, -more than anything else, sufficed to convince me what the opinion of -the public really was in regard to my work. But, if the audience was -scanty, the majority, at any rate, consisted of the first friends of my -art, and the reception of the piece was very cordial. Mitterwurzer -especially aroused the greatest enthusiasm. As for Tichatschek, my -anxious friends, Rockel and Heine, thought it necessary to endeavour by -every artifice to keep him in a good humour for his part. In order to -give practical assistance in making the undoubted obscurity of the last -scene clear, my friends had asked several young people, more especially -artists, to give vent to torrents of applause at those parts which are -not generally regarded by the opera-going public as provoking any -demonstration. Strange to say, the outburst of applause thus provoked -after the words, 'An angel flies to God's throne for thee, and will -make his voice heard; Heinrich, thou art saved,' made the entire -situation suddenly clear to the public. At all subsequent productions -this continued to be the principal moment for the expression of -sympathy on the part of the audience, although it had passed quite -unnoticed on the first night. A few days later a third performance took -place, but this time before a full house, Schroder-Devrient, depressed -at the small share she was able to take in the success of my work, -watched the progress of the opera from the small stage box; she -informed me that Luttichau had come to her with a beaming face, saying -he thought we had now carried Tannhauser happily through. - -And this certainly proved to be the case; we often repeated it in the -course of the winter, but noticed that when two performances followed -close upon one another, there was not such a rush for the second, from -which we concluded that I had not yet gained the approval of the great -opera-going public, but only of the more cultured section of the -community. Among these real friends of Tannhauser there were many, as I -gradually discovered, who as a rule never visited the theatre at all, -and least of all the opera. This interest on the part of a totally new -public continued to grow in intensity, and expressed itself in a -delightful and hitherto unknown manner by a strong sympathy for the -author. It was particularly painful to me, on Tichatschek's account, to -respond alone to the calls of the audience after almost every act; -however, I had at last to submit, as my refusal would only have exposed -the vocalist to fresh humiliations, for when he appeared on the stage -with his colleagues without me, the loud shouts for me were almost -insulting to him. With what genuine eagerness did I wish that the -contrary were the case, and that the excellence of the execution might -overshadow the author. The conviction that I should never attain this -with my Tannhauser in Dresden guided me in all my future undertakings. -But, at all events, in producing Tannhauser in this city I had -succeeded in making at least the cultured public acquainted with my -peculiar tendencies, by stimulating their mental faculties and -stripping the performance of all realistic accessories. I did not, -however, succeed in making these tendencies sufficiently clear in a -dramatic performance, and in such an irresistible and convincing manner -as also to familiarise the uncultivated taste of the ordinary public -with them when they saw them embodied on the stage. - -By enlarging the circle of my acquaintances, and making interesting -friends, I had a good opportunity during the winter of obtaining -further information on this point in a way that was both instructive -and encouraging. My acquaintance and close intimacy at this time with -Dr. Hermann Franck of Breslau, who had for some time been living -quietly in Dresden, was also very inspiring. He was very comfortably -off, and was one of those men who, by a wide knowledge and good -judgment, combined with considerable gifts as an author, won an -excellent reputation for himself in a large and select circle of -private friends, without, however, making any great name for himself -with the public. He endeavoured to use his knowledge and abilities for -the general good, and was induced by Brockhaus to edit the Deutsche -Allgemeine Zeitung when it first started. This paper had been founded -by Brockhaus some years earlier. However, after editing it for a year, -Franck resigned this post, and from that time forward it was only on -the very rarest occasions that he could be persuaded to touch anything -connected with journalism. His curt and spirited remarks about his -experiences in connection with the Deutsche Allgemeine Zeitung -justified his disinclination to engage in any work connected with the -public press. My appreciation was all the greater, therefore, when, -without any persuasion on my part, he wrote a full report on Tannhauser -for the Augsburger Allgemeine Zeitung. This appeared in October or -November, 1845, in a supplement to that paper, and although it -contained the first account of a work which has since been so widely -discussed, I regard it, after mature consideration, as the most -far-reaching and exhaustive that has ever been written. By this means -my name figured for the first time in the great European political -paper, whose columns, in consequence of a remarkable change of front -which was to the interests of the proprietors, have since been open to -any one who wished to make merry at the expense of me or my work. - -The point which particularly attracted me in Dr. Franck was the -delicate and tactful art he displayed in his criticism and his methods -of discussion. There was something distinguished about them that was -not so much the outcome of rank and social position as of genuine -world-wide culture. - -The delicate coldness and reserve of his manner charmed rather than -repelled me, as it was a characteristic I had not met with hitherto. -When I found him expressing himself with some reserve in regard to -persons who enjoyed a reputation to which I did not think they were -always entitled, I was very pleased to see during my intercourse with -him that in many ways I exercised a decisive influence over his -opinion. Even at that time I did not care to let it pass unchallenged -when people evaded the close analysis of the work of this or that -celebrity, by referring in terms of eulogy to his 'good-nature.' I even -cornered my worldly wise friend on this point, when a few years later I -had the satisfaction of getting from him a very concise explanation of -Meyerbeer's 'good-nature,' of which he had once spoken, and he recalled -with a smile the extraordinary questions I had put to him at the time. -He was, however, quite alarmed when I gave him a very lucid explanation -of the disinterestedness and conspicuous altruism of Mendelssohn in the -service of art, of which he had spoken enthusiastically. In a -conversation about Mendelssohn he had remarked how delightful it was to -find a man able to make real sacrifices in order to free himself from a -false position that was of no service to art. It was assuredly a grand -thing, he said, to have renounced a good salary of nine thousand marks -as general musical conductor in Berlin, and to have retired to Leipzig -as a simple conductor at the Gewandhaus concerts, and Mendelssohn was -much to be admired on that account. Just at that time I happened to be -in a position to give some correct details regarding this apparent -sacrifice on the part of Mendelssohn, because when I had made a serious -proposal to our general management about increasing the salaries of -several of the poorer members of the orchestra, Luttichau was requested -to inform me that, according to the King's latest commands, the -expenditure on the state bands was to be so restricted that for the -present the poorer chamber musicians could not claim any consideration, -for Herr von Falkenstein, the governor of the Leipzig district, who was -a passionate admirer of Mendelssohn's, had gone so far as to influence -the King to appoint the latter secret conductor, with a secret salary -of six thousand marks. This sum, together with the salary of three -thousand marks openly granted him by the management of the Leipzig -Gewandhaus, would amply compensate him for the position he had -renounced in Berlin, and he had consequently consented to migrate to -Leipzig. This large grant had, for decency's sake, to be kept secret by -the board administering the band funds, not only because it was -detrimental to the interests of the institution, but also because it -might give offence to those who were acting as conductors at a lower -salary, if they knew another man had been appointed to a sinecure. From -these circumstances Mendelssohn derived not only the advantage of -having the grant kept a secret, but also the satisfaction of allowing -his friends to applaud him as a model of self-sacrificing zeal for -going to Leipzig; which they could easily do, although they knew him to -be in a good financial position. When I explained this to Franck, he -was astonished, and admitted it was one of the strangest cases he had -ever come across in connection with undeserved fame. - -We soon arrived at a mutual understanding in our views about many other -artistic celebrities with whom we came in contact at that time in -Dresden. This was a simple matter in the case of Ferdinand Hiller, who -was regarded as the chief of the 'good-natured' ones. Regarding the -more famous painters of the so-called Dusseldorf School, whom I met -frequently through the medium of Tannhauser, it was not quite so easy -to come to a conclusion, as I was to a great extent influenced by the -fame attached to their well-known names; but here again Franck startled -me with opportune and conclusive reasons for disappointment. When it -was a question between Bendemann and Hubner, it seemed to me that -Hubner might very well be sacrificed to Bendemann. The latter, who had -only just completed the frescoes for one of the reception-rooms at the -royal palace, and had been rewarded by his friends with a banquet, -appeared to me to have the right to be honoured as a great master. I -was very much astonished, therefore, when Franck calmly pitied the King -of Saxony for having had his room 'bedaubed' by Bendemann! -Nevertheless, there was no denying that these people were -'good-natured.' My intercourse with them became more frequent, and at -all events offered me opportunities of mixing with the more cultured -artistic society, in distinction to the theatrical circles with which I -had usually associated; yet I never derived from it the least -enthusiasm or inspiration. The latter, however, appears to have been -Hiller's main object, and that winter he organised a sort of social -circle which held weekly meetings at the home of one or the other of -its members in turn. Reinecke, who was both painter and poet, joined -this society, together with Hubner and Bendemann, and had the bad -fortune to write the new text for an opera for Hiller, the fate of -which I will describe later on. Robert Schumann, the musician, who was -also in Dresden at this time, and was busy working out on opera, which -eventually developed into Genovefa, made advances to Hiller and myself. -I had already known Schumann in Leipzig, and we had both entered upon -our musical careers at about the same time. I had also occasionally -sent small contributions to the Neue Zeitschrift fur Musik, of which he -had formerly been editor, and more recently a longer one from Paris on -Rossini's Stabat Mater. He had been asked to conduct his Paradies und -Peri at a concert to be given at the theatre; but his peculiar -awkwardness in conducting on that occasion aroused my sympathy for the -conscientious and energetic musician whose work made so strong an -appeal to me, and a kindly and friendly confidence soon grew up between -us. After a performance of Tannhauser, at which he was present, he -called on me one morning and declared himself fully and decidedly in -favour of my work. The only objection he had to make was that the -stretta of the second finale was too abrupt, a criticism which proved -his keenness of perception; and I was able to show him, by the score, -how I had been compelled, much against my inclination, to curtail the -opera, and thereby create the position to which he had taken exception. -We often met when out walking and, as far as it was possible with a -person so sparing of words, we exchanged views on matters of musical -interest. He was looking forward to the production, under my baton, of -Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, as he had attended the performances at -Leipzig, and had been very much disappointed by Mendelssohn's -conducting, which had quite misunderstood the time of the first -movement. Otherwise his society did not inspire me particularly, and -the fact that he was too conservative to benefit by my views was soon -shown, more especially in his conception of the poem of Genovefa. It -was clear that my example had only made a very transient impression on -him, only just enough, in fact, to make him think it advisable to write -the text of an opera himself. He afterwards invited me to hear him read -his libretto, which was a combination of the styles of Hebbel and -Tieck. When, however, out of a genuine desire for the success of his -work, about which I had serious misgivings, I called his attention to -some grave defects in it, and suggested the necessary alterations, I -realised how matters stood with this extraordinary person: he simply -wanted me to be swayed by himself, but deeply resented any interference -with the product of his own ideals, so that thenceforward I let matters -alone. - -In the following winter, our circle, thanks to the assiduity of Hiller, -was considerably widened, and it now became a sort of club whose object -was to meet freely every week in a room at Engel's restaurant at the -Postplatz. Just about this time the famous J. Schnorr of Munich was -appointed director of the museums in Dresden, and we entertained him at -a banquet. I had already seen some of his large and well-executed -cartoons, which made a deep impression on me, not only on account of -their dimensions, but also by reason of the events they depicted from -old German history, in which I was at that time particularly -interested. It was through Schnorr that I now became acquainted with -the 'Munich School' of which he was the master. My heart overflowed -when I thought what it meant for Dresden, if such giants of German art -were to shake hands there. I was much struck by Schnorr's appearance -and conversation, and I could not reconcile his whining pedagogic -manner with his mighty cartoons; however, I thought it a great stroke -of luck when he also took to frequenting Engel's restaurant on -Saturdays. He was well versed in the old German legends, and I was -delighted when they formed the topic of conversation. The famous -sculptor, Hanel, used also to attend these meetings, and his marvellous -talent inspired me with the greatest respect, although I was not an -authority on his work, and could only judge of it by my own feelings. I -soon saw that his bearing and manner were affected; he was very fond of -expressing his opinion and judgment on questions of art, and I was not -in a position to decide whether they were reliable or otherwise. In -fact, it often occurred to me that I was listening to a Philistine -swaggerer. It was only when my old friend Pecht, who had also settled -in Dresden for a time, clearly and emphatically explained to me Hanel's -standing as an artist, that I conquered all my secret doubts, and tried -to find some pleasure in his works. Rietschel, who was also a member of -our society, was the very antithesis of Hanel. I often found it -difficult to believe that the pale delicate man, with the whining -nervous way of expressing himself, was really a sculptor; but as -similar peculiarities in Schnorr did not prevent me from recognising -him as a marvellous painter, this helped me to make friends with -Rietschel, as he was quite free from affectation, and had a warm -sympathetic soul that drew me ever closer to him. I also remember -hearing from him a very enthusiastic appreciation of my personality as -a conductor. In spite, however, of being fellow-members of our -versatile art club, we never attained a footing of real comradeship, -for, after all, no one thought much of anybody else's talents. For -instance, Hiller had arranged some orchestral concerts, and to -commemorate them he was entertained at the usual banquet by his -friends, when his services were gratefully acknowledged with due -rhetorical pathos. Yet I never found, in my private intercourse with -Hiller's friends, the least enthusiasm in regard to his work; on the -contrary, I only noticed expressions of doubt and apprehensive shrugs. - -These feted concerts soon came to an end. At our social evenings we -never discussed the works of the masters who were present; they were -not even mentioned, and it was soon evident that none of the members -knew what to talk about. Semper was the only man who, in his -extraordinary fashion, often so enlivened our entertainments that -Rietschel, inwardly sympathetic, though painfully startled, would -heartily complain against the unrestrained outbursts that led not -infrequently to hot discussions between Semper and myself. Strange to -say, we two always seemed to start from the hypothesis that we were -antagonists, for he insisted upon regarding me as the representative of -mediaeval Catholicism, which he often attacked with real fury. I -eventually succeeded in persuading him that my studies and inclinations -had always led me to German antiquity, and to the discovery of ideals -in the early Teutonic myths. When we came to paganism, and I expressed -my enthusiasm for the genuine heathen legends, he became quite a -different being, and a deep and growing interest now began to unite us -in such a way that it quite isolated us from the rest of the company. -It was, however, impossible ever to settle anything without a heated -argument, not only because Semper had a peculiar habit of contradicting -everything flatly, but also because he knew his views were opposed to -those of the entire company. His paradoxical assertions, which were -apparently only intended to stir up strife, soon made me realise, -beyond any doubt, that he was the only one present who was passionately -in earnest about everything he said, whereas all the others were quite -content to let the matter drop when convenient. A man of the latter -type was Gutzkow, who was often with us; he had been summoned to -Dresden by the general management of our court theatre, to act in the -capacity of dramatist and adapter of plays. Several of his pieces had -recently met with great success: Zopf und Schwert, Das Urbild des -Tartuffe, and Uriel Acosta, shed an unexpected lustre on the latest -dramatic repertoire, and it seemed as though the advent of Gutzkow -would inaugurate a new era of glory for the Dresden theatre, where my -operas had also been first produced. The good intentions of the -management were certainly undeniable. My only regret on that occasion -was that the hopes my old friend Laube entertained of being summoned to -Dresden to fill that post were unrealised. He also had thrown himself -enthusiastically into the work of dramatic literature. Even in Paris I -had noticed the eagerness with which he used to study the technique of -dramatic composition, especially that of Scribe, in the hope of -acquiring the skill of that writer, without which, as he soon -discovered, no poetical drama in German could be successful. He -maintained that he had thoroughly mastered this style in his comedy, -Rococo, and he cherished the conviction that he could work up any -imaginable material into an effective stage play. - -At the same time, he was very careful to show equal skill in the -selection of his material. In my opinion this theory of his was a -complete failure, as his only successful pieces were those in which -popular interest was excited by catch-phrases. This interest was always -more or less associated with the politics of the day, and generally -involved some obvious diatribes about 'German unity' and 'German -Liberalism.' As this important stimulus was first applied by way of -experiment to the subscribers to our Residenz Theater, and afterwards -to the German public generally, it had, as I have already said, to be -worked out with the consummate skill which, presumably, could only be -learned from modern French writers of comic opera. - -I was very glad to see the result of this study in Laube's plays, more -especially as when he visited us in Dresden, which he often did on the -occasion of a new production, he admitted his indebtedness with modest -candour, and was far from pretending to be a real poet. Moreover, he -displayed great skill and an almost fiery zeal, not only in the -preparation of his pieces, but also in their production, so that the -offer of a post at Dresden, the hope of which had been held out to him, -would at least, from a practical point of view, have been a benefit to -the theatre. Finally, however, the choice fell on his rival Gutzkow, in -spite of his obvious unsuitability for the practical work of dramatist. -It was evident that even as regards his successful plays his triumph -was mainly due to his literary skill, because these effective plays -were immediately followed by wearisome productions which made us -realise, to our astonishment, that he himself could not have been aware -of the skill he had previously displayed. It was, however, precisely -these abstract qualities of the genuine man of letters which, in the -eyes of many, cast over him the halo of literary greatness; and when -Luttichau, thinking more of a showy reputation than of permanent -benefit to his theatre, decided to give the preference to Gutzkow, he -thought his choice would give a special impetus to the cause of higher -culture. To me the appointment of Gutzkow as the director of dramatic -art at the theatre was peculiarly objectionable, as it was not long -before I was convinced of his utter incompetence for the task, and it -was probably owing to the frankness with which I expressed my opinion -to Luttichau that our subsequent estrangement was originally due. I had -to complain bitterly of the want of judgment and the levity of those -who so recklessly selected men to fill the posts of managers and -conductors in such precious institutions of art as the German royal -theatres. To obviate the failure I felt convinced must follow on this -important appointment, I made a special request that Gutzkow should not -be allowed to interfere in the management of the opera; he readily -yielded, and thus spared himself great humiliation. This action, -however, created a feeling of mistrust between us, though I was quite -ready to remove this as far as possible by coming into personal contact -with him whenever opportunity offered on those evenings when the -artists used to gather at the club, as already described. I would -gladly have made this strange man, whose head was anxiously bowed down -on his breast, relax and unburden himself in his conversations with me, -but I was unsuccessful, on account of his constant reserve and -suspicion, and his studied aloofness. An opportunity arose for a -discussion between us when he wanted the orchestra to take a -melodramatic part (which they afterwards did) in a certain scene of his -Uriel Acosta, where the hero had to recant his alleged heresy. The -orchestra had to execute the soft tremolo for a given time on certain -chords, but when I heard the performance it appeared to me absurd, and -equally derogatory both for the music and the drama. - -On one of these evenings I tried to come to an understanding with -Gutzkow concerning this, and the employment of music generally as a -melodramatic auxiliary to the drama, and I discussed my views on the -subject in accordance with the highest principles I had conceived. He -met all the chief points of my discussion with a nervous distrustful -silence, but finally explained that I really went too far in the -significance which I claimed for music, and that he failed to -understand how music would be degraded if it were applied more -sparingly to the drama, seeing that the claims of verse were often -treated with much less respect when it was used as a mere accessory to -operatic music. To put it practically, in fact, it would be advisable -for the librettist not to be too dainty in this matter; it wasn't -possible always to give the actor a brilliant exit; at the same time, -however, nothing could be more painful than when the chief performer -made his exit without any applause. In such cases a little distracting -noise in the orchestra really supplied a happy diversion. This I -actually heard Gutzkow say; moreover, I saw that he really meant it! -After this I felt I had done with him. - -It was not long before I had equally little to do with all the -painters, musicians, and other zealots in art belonging to our society. -At the same time, however, I came into closer contact with Berthold -Auerbach. With great enthusiasm, Alwine Frommann had already drawn my -attention to Auerbach's Pastoral Stories. The account she gave of these -modest works (for that is how she characterised them) sounded quite -attractive. She said that they had had the same refreshing effect on -her circle of friends in Berlin as that produced by opening the window -of a scented boudoir (to which she compared the literature they had -hitherto been used to), and letting in the fresh air of the woods. -After that I read the Pastoral Stories of the Black Forest, which had -so quickly become famous, and I, too, was strongly attracted by the -contents and tone of these realistic anecdotes about the life of the -people in a locality which it was easy enough to identify from the -vivid descriptions. As at this time Dresden seemed to be becoming ever -more and more the rendezvous for the lights of our literary and -artistic world, Auerbach also reconciled himself to taking up his -quarters in this city; and for quite a long time, lived with his friend -Hiller, who thus again had a celebrity at his side of equal standing -with himself. The short, sturdy Jewish peasant boy, as he was placed to -represent himself to be, made a very agreeable impression. It was only -later that I understood the significance of his green jacket, and above -all of his green hunting-cap, which made him look exactly what the -author of Swabian Pastoral Stories ought to look like, and this -significance was anything but a naive one. The Swiss poet, Gottfried -Keller, once told me that, when Auerbach was in Zurich, and he had -decided on taking him up, he (Auerbach) had drawn his attention to the -best way in which to introduce one's literary effusions to the public, -and to make money, and he advised him, above all things, to get a coat -and cap like his own, for being, as he said, like himself, neither -handsome nor well grown, it would be far better deliberately to make -himself look rough and queer; so saying, he placed his cap on his head -in such a way as to look a little rakish. For the time being, I -perceived no real affectation in Auerbach; he had assimilated so much -of the tone and ways of the people, and had done this so happily, that, -in any case, one could not help asking oneself why, with these -delightful qualities, he should move with such tremendous ease in -spheres that seemed absolutely antagonistic. At all events, he always -seemed in his true element even in those circles which really seemed -most opposed to his assumed character; there he stood in his green -coat, keen, sensitive, and natural, surrounded by the distinguished -society that flattered him; and he loved to show letters he had -received from the Grand Duke of Weimar and his answers to them, all the -time looking at things from the standpoint of the Swabian peasant -nature which suited him so admirably. - -What especially attracted me to him was the fact that he was the first -Jew I ever met with whom one could discuss Judaism with absolute -freedom. He even seemed particularly desirous of removing, in his -agreeable manner, all prejudice on this score; and it was really -touching to hear him speak of his boyhood, and declare that he was -perhaps the only German who had read Klopstock's Messiah all through. -Having one day become absorbed in this work, which he read secretly in -his cottage home, he had played the truant from school, and when he -finally arrived too late at the school-house, his teacher angrily -exclaimed: 'You confounded Jew-boy, where have you been? Lending money -again?' Such experiences had only made him feel pensive and melancholy, -but not bitter, and he had even been inspired with real compassion for -the coarseness of his tormentors. These were traits in his character -which drew me very strongly to him. As time went on, however, it seemed -to me a serious matter that he could not get away from the atmosphere -of these ideas, for I began to feel that the universe contained no -other problem for him than the elucidation of the Jewish question. One -day, therefore, I protested as good-naturedly and confidentially as I -could, and advised him to let the whole problem of Judaism drop, as -there were, after all, many other standpoints from which the world -might be criticised. Strange to say, he thereupon not only lost his -ingeniousness, but also fell to whining in an ecstatic fashion, which -did not seem to me very genuine, and assured me that that would be an -impossibility for him, as there was still so much in Judaism which -needed his whole sympathy. I could not help recalling the surprising -anguish which he had manifested on this occasion, when I learned, in -the course of time, that he had repeatedly arranged Jewish marriages, -concerning the happy result of which I heard nothing, save that he had, -by this means, made quite a fortune. When, several years afterwards, I -again saw him in Zurich, I observed that his appearance had -unfortunately changed in a manner quite disconcerting: he looked really -extraordinarily common and dirty; his former refreshing liveliness had -turned into the usual Jewish restlessness, and it was easy to see that -all he said was uttered as if he regretted that his words could not be -turned to better account in a newspaper article. - -During his time in Dresden, however, Auerbach's warm agreement with my -artistic projects really did me good, even though it may have been only -from his Semitic and Swabian standpoint; so did the novelty of the -experience I was at that time undergoing as an artist, in meeting with -ever-increasing regard and recognition among people of note, of -acknowledged importance and of exceptional culture. If, after the -success obtained by Rienzi, I still remained with the circle of the -real theatrical world, the greater success following on Tannhauser -certainly brought me into contact with such people as I have mentioned -above, who, though to be sure they considerably enlarged my ideas, at -the same time impressed me very unfavourably with what was apparently -the pinnacle of the artistic life of the period. At any rate, I felt -neither rewarded nor, fortunately, even diverted by the acquaintances I -won by the first performance of my Tannhauser that winter. On the -contrary, I felt an irresistible desire to withdraw into my shell and -leave these gay surroundings into which, strangely enough, I had been -introduced at the instigation of Hiller, whom I soon recognised as -being a nonentity. I felt I must quickly compose something, as this was -the only means of ridding myself of all the disturbing and painful -excitement Tannhauser had produced in me. - -Only a few weeks after the first performances I had worked out the -whole of the Lohengrin text. In November I had already read this poem -to my intimate friends, and soon afterwards to the Hiller set. It was -praised, and pronounced 'effective.' Schumann also thoroughly approved -of it, although he did not understand the musical form in which I -wished to carry it out, as he saw no resemblance in it to the old -methods of writing individual solos for the various artists. I then had -some fun in reading different parts of my work to him in the form of -arias and cavatinas, after which he laughingly declared himself -satisfied. - -Serious reflection, however, aroused my gravest doubts as to the tragic -character of the material itself, and to these doubts I had been led, -in a manner both sensible and tactful, by Franck. He thought it -offensive to effect Elsa's punishment through Lohengrin's departure; -for although he understood that the characteristics of the legend were -expressed precisely by this highly poetical feature, he was doubtful as -to whether it did full justice to the demands of tragic feeling in its -relation to dramatic realism. He would have preferred to see Lohengrin -die before our eyes owing to Elsa's loving treachery. As, however, this -did not seem feasible, he would have liked to see Lohengrin spell-bound -by some powerful motive, and prevented from getting away. Although, of -course, I would not agree to any of these suggestions, I went so far as -to consider whether I could not do away with the cruel separation, and -still retain the incident of Lohengrin's departure, which was -essential. I then sought for a means of letting Elsa go away with -Lohengrin, as a form of penance which would withdraw her also from the -world. This seemed more promising to my talented friend. While I was -still very doubtful about all this, I gave my poem to Frau von -Luttichau, so that she might peruse it, and criticise the point raised -by Franck. In a little letter, in which she expressed her pleasure at -my poem, she wrote briefly, but very decidedly, on the knotty question, -and declared that Franck must be devoid of all poetry if he did not -understand that it was exactly in the way I had chosen, and in no -other, that Lohengrin must depart. I felt as if a load had fallen from -my heart. In triumph I showed the letter to Franck, who, much abashed, -and by way of excusing himself, opened a correspondence with Frau von -Luttichau, which certainly cannot have been lacking in interest, though -I was never able to see any of it. In any case, the upshot of it was -that Lohengrin remained as I had originally conceived it. Curiously -enough, some time later, I had a similar experience with regard to the -same subject, which again put me in a temporary state of uncertainty. -When Adolf Stahr gravely raised the same objection to the solution of -the Lohengrin question, I was really taken aback by the uniformity of -opinion; and as, owing to some excitement, I was just then no longer in -the same mood as when I composed Lohengrin, I was foolish enough to -write a hurried letter to Stahr in which, with but a few slight -reservations, I declared him to be right. I did not know that, by this, -I was causing real grief to Liszt, who was now in the same position -with regard to Stahr as Frau von Luttichau had been with regard to -Franck. Fortunately, however, the displeasure of my great friend at my -supposed treachery to myself did not last long; for, without having got -wind of the trouble I had caused him, and thanks to the torture I -myself was going through, I came to the proper decision in a few days, -and, as clear as daylight, I saw what madness it had been. I was -therefore able to rejoice Liszt with the following laconical protest -which I sent him from my Swiss resort: 'Stahr is wrong, and Lohengrin -is right.' - -For the present I remained occupied with the revision of my poem, for -there could be no question of planning the music to it just now. That -peaceful and harmonious state of mind which is so favourable to -creative work, and always so necessary to me for composing, I now had -to secure with the greatest difficulty, for it was one of the things I -always had the hardest struggle to obtain. All the experiences -connected with the performance of Tannhauser having filled me with true -despair as to the whole future of my artistic operations, I saw it was -hopeless to think of its production being extended to other German -theatres--for I had not been able to achieve this end even with the -successful Rienzi. It was perfectly obvious, therefore, that my work -would, at the utmost, be conceded a permanent place in the Dresden -repertoire. As the result of all this, my pecuniary affairs, which have -already been described, had got into such a serious state that a -catastrophe seemed inevitable. While I was preparing to meet this in -the best way I could, I tried to stupefy myself, on the one hand, by -plunging into the study of history, mythology, and literature, which -were becoming ever dearer and dearer to me, and on the other by working -incessantly at my artistic enterprises. As regards the former, I was -chiefly interested in the German Middle Ages, and tried to make myself -familiar with every point relative to this period. Although I could not -set about this task with philological precision, I proceeded with such -earnestness that I studied the German records, published by Grimm, for -instance, with the greatest interest. As I could not put the results of -such studies immediately into my scenes, there were many who could not -understand why, as an operatic composer, I should waste my time on such -barren work. Different people remarked later on, that the personality -of Lohengrin had a charm quite its own; but this was ascribed to the -happy selection of the subject, and I was specially praised for -choosing it. Material from the German Middle Ages, and later on, -subjects from Scandinavian antiquity, were therefore looked forward to -by many, and, in the end, they were astonished that I gave them no -adequate result of all my labours. Perhaps it will be of help to them -if I now tell them to take the old records and such works to their aid. -I forgot at that time to call Hiller's attention to my documents, and -with great pride he seized upon a subject out of the history of the -Hohenstaufen. As, however, he had no success with his work, he may -perhaps think I was a little artful for not having spoken to him of the -old records. - -Concerning my other duties, my chief undertaking for this winter -consisted in an exceptionally carefully prepared performance of -Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, which took place in the spring on Palm -Sunday. This performance involved many a struggle, besides a host of -experiences which were destined to exercise a strong influence over my -further development. Roughly they were as follows: the royal orchestra -had only one opportunity a year of showing their powers independently -in a musical performance outside the Opera or the church. For the -benefit of the Pension Fund for their widows and orphans, the old -so-called Opera House was given up to a big performance originally only -intended for oratorios. Ultimately, in order to make it more -attractive, a symphony was always added to the oratorio; and, as -already mentioned, I had performed on such occasions, once the Pastoral -Symphony, and later Haydn's Creation. The latter was a great joy to me, -and it was on this occasion that I first made its acquaintance. As we -two conductors had stipulated for alternate performances, the Symphony -on Palm Sunday of the year 1846 fell to my lot. I had a great longing -for the Ninth Symphony, and I was led to the choice of this work by the -fact that it was almost unknown in Dresden. When the directors of the -orchestra, who were the trustees of the Pension Fund, and who had to -promote its increase, got to know of this, such a fright seized them -that they interviewed the general director, Luttichau, and begged him, -by virtue of his high authority, to dissuade me from carrying out my -intention. They gave as a reason for this request, that the Pension -Fund would surely suffer through the choice of this symphony, as the -work was in ill-repute in the place, and would certainly keep people -from going to the concert. The symphony had been performed many years -before by Reissiger at a charity concert, and, as the conductor himself -honestly admitted, had been an absolute failure. Now it needed my whole -ardour, and all the eloquence I could command, to prevail over the -doubts of our principal. With the orchestral directors, however, there -was nothing for me to do but quarrel, as I heard that they were -complaining all over the town about my indiscretion. In order to add -shame to their trouble, I made up my mind to prepare the public in such -a way for the performance, upon which I had resolved, and for the work -itself, that at least the sensation caused would lead to a full hall -and thus, in a very favourable manner, guarantee satisfactory returns, -and contradict their belief that the fund was menaced. Thus the Ninth -Symphony had, in every conceivable way, become for me a point of -honour, for the success of which I had to exercise all my powers to the -utmost. The committee had misgivings regarding the outlay needed for -procuring the orchestral parts, so I borrowed them from the Leipzig -Concert Society. - -Imagine my feelings, however, on now seeing for the first time since my -earliest boyhood the mysterious pages of this score, which I studied -conscientiously! In those days the sight of these same pages had filled -me with the most mystic reveries, and I had stayed up for nights -together to copy them out. Just as at the time of my uncertainty in -Paris, on hearing the rehearsal of the first three movements performed -by the incomparable orchestra of the Conservatoire, I had been carried -back through years of error and doubt to be placed in marvellous touch -with my earliest days, while all my inmost aspirations had been -fruitfully stimulated in a new direction, so now in the same way the -memory of that music was secretly awakened in me as I again saw before -my own eyes that which in those early days had likewise been only a -mysterious vision. I had by this time experienced much which, in the -depths of my soul, drove me almost unconsciously to a process of -summing-up, to an almost despairing inquiry concerning my fate. What I -dared not acknowledge to myself was the fact of the absolute insecurity -of my existence both from the artistic and financial point of view; for -I saw that I was a stranger to my own mode of life as well as to my -profession, and I had no prospects whatsoever. This despair, which I -tried to conceal from my friends, was now converted into genuine -exaltation, thanks entirely to the Ninth Symphony. It is not likely -that the heart of a disciple has ever been filled with such keen -rapture over the work of a master, as mine was at the first movement of -this symphony. If any one had come upon me unexpectedly while I had the -open score before me, and had seen me convulsed with sobs and tears as -I went through the work in order to consider the best manner of -rendering it, he would certainly have asked with astonishment if this -were really fitting behaviour for the Conductor Royal of Saxony! -Fortunately, on such occasions I was spared the visits of our orchestra -directors, and their worthy conductor Reissiger, and even those of F. -Hiller, who was so versed in classical music. - -In the first place I drew up a programme, for which the book of words -for the chorus--always ordered according to custom--furnished me with a -good pretext. I did this in order to provide a guide to the simple -understanding of the work, and thereby hoped to appeal not to the -critical judgment, but solely to the feelings, of the audience. This -programme, in the framing of which some of the chief passages in -Goethe's Faust were exceedingly helpful to me, was very well received, -not only on that occasion in Dresden, but later on in other places. -Besides this, I made use of the Dresden Anzeiger, by writing all kinds -of short and enthusiastic anonymous paragraphs, in order to whet the -public taste for a work which hitherto had been in ill-repute in -Dresden. - -Not only did these purely extraneous exertions succeed in making the -receipts of that year by far exceed any that had been taken -theretofore, but the orchestra directors themselves, during the -remaining years of my stay in Dresden, made a point of ensuring -similarly large profits by repeated performances of the celebrated -symphony. Concerning the artistic side of the performance, I aimed at -making the orchestra give as expressive a rendering as possible, and to -this end made all kinds of notes, myself, in the various parts, so as -to make quite sure that their interpretation would be as clear and as -coloured as could be desired. It was principally the custom which -existed then of doubling the wind instruments, that led me to a most -careful consideration of the advantages this system presented, for, in -performances on a large scale, the following somewhat crude rule -prevailed: all those passages marked piano were executed by a single -set of instruments, while those marked forte were carried out by a -duplicated set. As an instance of the way in which I took care to -ensure an intelligible rendering by this means, I might point to a -certain passage in the second movement of the symphony, where the whole -of the string instruments play the principal and rhythmical figure in C -major for the first time; it is written in triple octaves, which play -uninterruptedly in unison and, to a certain degree, serve as an -accompaniment to the second theme, which is only performed by feeble -wood instruments. As fortissimo is indicated alike for the whole -orchestra, the result in every imaginable rendering must be that the -melody for the wood instruments not only completely disappears, but -cannot even be heard through the strings, which, after all, are only -accompanying. Now, as I never carried my piety to the extent of taking -directions absolutely literally, rather than sacrifice the effect -really intended by the master to the erroneous indications given, I -made the strings play only moderately loudly instead of real -fortissimo, up to the point where they alternate with the wind -instruments in taking up the continuation of the new theme: thus the -motive, rendered as it was as loudly as possible by a double set of -wind instruments, was, I believe for the first time since the existence -of the symphony, heard with real distinctness. I proceeded in this -manner throughout, in order to guarantee the greatest exactitude in the -dynamical effects of the orchestra. There was nothing, however -difficult, which was allowed to be performed in such a way as not to -arouse the feelings of the audience in a particular manner. For -example, many brains had been puzzled by the Fugato in 6/8 time which -comes after the chorus, Froh wie seine Sonnen fliegen, in the movement -of the finale marked alia marcia. In view of the preceding inspiriting -verses, which seemed to be preparing for combat and victory, I -conceived this Fugato really as a glad but earnest war-song, and I took -it at a continuously fiery tempo, and with the utmost vigour. The day -following the first performance I had the satisfaction of receiving a -visit from the musical director Anacker of Freiburg, who came to tell -me somewhat penitently, that though until then he had been one of my -antagonists, since the performance of the symphony he certainly -reckoned himself among my friends. What had absolutely overwhelmed him, -he said, was precisely my conception and interpretation of the Fugato. -Furthermore, I devoted special attention to that extraordinary passage, -resembling a recitative for the 'cellos and basses, which comes at the -beginning of the last movement, and which had once caused my old friend -Pohlenz such great humiliation in Leipzig. Thanks to the exceptional -excellence of our bass players, I felt certain of attaining to absolute -perfection in this passage. After twelve special rehearsals of the -instruments alone concerned, I succeeded in getting them to perform in -a way which sounded not only perfectly free, but which also expressed -the most exquisite tenderness and the greatest energy in a thoroughly -impressive manner. - -From the very beginning of my undertaking I had at once recognised, -that the only method of achieving overwhelming popular success with -this symphony was to overcome, by some ideal means, the extraordinary -difficulties presented by the choral parts. I realised that the demands -made by these parts could be met only by a large and enthusiastic body -of singers. It was above all necessary, then, to secure a very good and -large choir; so, besides adding the somewhat feeble Dreissig 'Academy -of Singing' to our usual number of members in the theatre chorus, in -spite of great difficulties I also enlisted the help of the choir from -the Kreuzschule, with its fine boys' voices, and the choir of the -Dresden seminary, which had had much practice in church singing. In a -way quite my own I now tried to get these three hundred singers, who -were frequently united for rehearsals, into a state of genuine ecstasy; -for instance, I succeeded in demonstrating to the basses that the -celebrated passage Seid umschlungen, Millionen, and especially Bruder, -uber'm Sternenzelt muss ein guter Vater wohnen, could not be sung in an -ordinary manner, but must, as it were, be proclaimed with the greatest -rapture. In this I took the lead in a manner so elated that I really -think I literally transported them to a world of emotion utterly -strange to them for a while; and I did not desist till my voice, which -had been heard clearly above all the others, began to be no longer -distinguishable even to myself, but was drowned, so to speak, in the -warm sea of sound. - -It gave me particular pleasure, with Mitterwurzer's cooperation, to -give a most overwhelmingly expressive rendering of the recitative for -baritone: Freunde, nicht diese Tone. In view of its exceptional -difficulties this passage might almost be considered impossible to -perform, and yet he executed it in a way which showed what fruit our -mutual interchange of ideas had borne. I also took care that, by means -of the complete reconstruction of the hall, I should obtain good -acoustic conditions for the orchestra, which I had arranged according -to quite a new system of my own. As may be imagined, it was only with -the greatest difficulty that the money for this could be found; -however, I did not give up, and owing to a totally new construction of -the platform, I was able to concentrate the whole of the orchestra -towards the centre, and surround it, in amphitheatre fashion, by the -throng of singers who were accommodated on seats very considerably -raised. This was not only of great advantage to the powerful effect of -the choir, but it also gave great precision and energy to the finely -organised orchestra in the purely symphonic movements. - -Even at the general rehearsal the hall was overcrowded. Reissiger was -guilty of the incredible stupidity of working up the public mind -against the symphony and drawing attention to Beethoven's very -regrettable error. Gade, on the other hand, who came to visit us from -Leipzig, where he was then conducting the Gewandhaus Concerts, assured -me after the general rehearsal, that he would willingly have paid -double the price of his ticket in order to hear the recitative by the -basses once more; whilst Hiller considered that I had gone too far in -my modification of the tempo. What he meant by this I learned -subsequently when I heard him conducting intricate orchestral works; -but of this I shall have more to say later on. - -There was no denying that the performance was, on the whole, a success; -in fact, it exceeded all our expectations, and was particularly well -received by the non-musical public. Among these I remember the -philologist Dr. Kochly, who came to me at the end of the evening and -confessed that it was the first time he had been able to follow a -symphonic work from beginning to end with intelligent interest. This -experience left me with a pleasant feeling of ability and power, and -strongly confirmed me in the belief, that if I only desired anything -with sufficient earnestness, I was able to achieve it with irresistible -and overwhelming success. I now had to consider, however, what the -difficulties were, which hitherto had prevented a similarly happy -production of my own new conceptions. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, which -was still such a problem to so many, and had, at all events, never -attained to popularity, I had been able to make a complete success; -yet, as often as it was put on the stage, my Tannhauser taught me that -the possibilities of its success had yet to be discovered. How was this -to be done? This was and remained the secret question which influenced -all my subsequent development. - -I dared not, however, indulge at that time in any meditation on this -point with the view of arriving at any particular results, for the real -significance of my failure, of which I was inwardly convinced, stood -absolutely bare before me with all its terrifying lessons. Albeit, I -could no longer delay taking even the most disagreeable steps with the -view of warding off the catastrophe which menaced my financial position. - -I was led to this, thanks to the influence of a ridiculous omen. My -agent, the purely nominal publisher of my three operas--Rienzi, the -Fliegender Hollander, and Tannhauser--the eccentric court music -publisher, C. F. Meser, invited me one day to the cafe known as the -'Verderber' to discuss our money affairs. With great qualms we talked -over the possible results of the Annual Easter Fair, and wondered -whether they would be tolerably good or altogether bad. I gave him -courage, and ordered a bottle of the best Haut-Sauterne. A venerable -flask made its appearance; I filled the glasses, and we drank to the -good success of the Fair; when suddenly we both yelled as though we had -gone mad, while, with horror, we tried to rid our mouths of the strong -Tarragon vinegar with which we had been served by mistake. 'Heavens!' -cried Meser, 'nothing could be worse!' 'True enough,' I answered, 'no -doubt there is much that will turn to vinegar for us.' My good-humour -revealed to me in a flash that I must try some other way of saving -myself than by means of the Easter Fair. - -Not only was it necessary to refund the capital which had been got -together by dint of ever-increasing sacrifices, in order to defray the -expenses of the publication of my operas; but, owing to the fact that I -had been obliged ultimately to seek aid from the usurers, the rumour of -my debts had spread so far abroad, that even those friends who had -helped me at the time of my arrival in Dresden were seized with anxiety -on my account. At this time I met with a really sad experience at the -hands of Madame Schroder-Devrient, who, as the result of her -incomprehensible lack of discretion, did much to bring about my final -undoing. When I first settled in Dresden, as I have already pointed -out, she lent me three thousand marks, not only to help me to discharge -my debts, but also to allow me to contribute to the maintenance of my -old friend Kietz in Paris. Jealousy of my niece Johanna, and suspicion -that I had made her (my niece) come to Dresden in order to make it -easier for the general management to dispense with the services of the -great artist, had awakened in this otherwise so noble-minded woman the -usual feelings of animosity towards me, which are so often met with in -the theatrical profession. She had now given up her engagement; she -even declared openly that I had been partly instrumental in obtaining -her dismissal; and abandoning all friendly regard for me, whereby she -deeply wronged me in every respect, she placed the I.O.U. I had given -her in the hands of an energetic lawyer, and without further ado this -man sued me for the payment of the money. Thus I was forced to make a -clean breast of everything to Luttichau, and to beseech him to -intervene for me, and if possible to obtain a royal advance that would -enable me to clear my position, which was so seriously compromised. - -My principal declared himself willing to support any request I might -wish to address to the King on this matter. To this end I had to note -down the amount of my debts; but as I soon discovered that the -necessary sum could only be assigned to me as a loan from the Theatre -Pension Fund, at an interest of five per cent., and that I should -moreover have to secure the capital of the Pension Fund by a life -insurance policy, which would cost me annually three per cent, of the -capital borrowed, I was, for obvious reasons, tempted to leave out of -my petition all those of my debts which were not of a pressing nature, -and for the payment of which I thought I could count on the receipts -which I might finally expect from my publishing enterprises. -Nevertheless, the sacrifices I had to make in order to repay the help -offered me increased to such an extent, that my salary of conductor, in -itself very slender, promised to be materially diminished for some time -to come. I was forced to make the most irksome efforts to gather -together the necessary sum for the life insurance policy, and was -therefore obliged frequently to appeal to Leipzig. In addition to this, -I had to overcome the most appalling doubts in regard both to my health -and to the probable length of my life, concerning which I fancied I had -heard all sorts of malicious apprehensions expressed by those who had -observed me but casually in the miserable condition which I was in at -that time. My friend Pusinelli, as a doctor who was very intimate with -me, eventually managed to give such satisfactory information concerning -the state of my health, that I succeeded in insuring my life at the -rate of three per cent. - -The last of these painful journeys to Leipzig was, at all events, made -under pleasant circumstances owing to a kind invitation from the old -Maestro Louis Spohr. I was particularly pleased over this, because to -me it meant nothing less than an act of reconciliation. As a matter of -fact, Spohr had written to me on one occasion, and had declared that, -stimulated by the success of my Fliegender Hollander and his own -enjoyment of it, he had once more decided to take up the career of a -dramatic composer, which of recent years had brought him such scant -success. His last work was an opera--Die Kreuz-fahrer--which he had -sent to the Dresden theatre in the course of the preceding year in the -hope, as he himself assured me, that I would urge on its production. -After asking this favour, he drew my attention to the fact that in this -work he had made an absolutely new departure from his earlier operas, -and had kept to the most precise rhythmically dramatic declamation, -which had certainly been made all the more easy for him by the -'excellent subject.' Without being actually surprised, my horror was -indeed great when, after studying not only the text, but also the -score, I discovered that the old maestro had been absolutely mistaken -in regard to the account he had given me of his work. The custom in -force at that time that the decision concerning the production of works -should not, as a rule, rest with one of the conductors alone, did not -tend to make me any less fearful of declaring myself emphatically in -favour of this work. In addition to this, it was Reissiger, who, as he -had often boasted, was an old friend of Spohr's, whose turn it was to -select and produce a new work. Unfortunately, as I learned later, the -general management had returned Spohr's opera to its author in such a -curt manner as to offend him, and he complained bitterly of this to me. -Genuinely concerned at this, I had evidently managed to calm and -appease him, for the invitation mentioned above was clearly a friendly -acknowledgment of my efforts. He wrote that it was very painful for him -to have to touch at Dresden on his way to one of the watering-places; -as, however, he had a real longing to make my acquaintance, he begged -me to meet him in Leipzig, where he was going to stay for a few days. - -This meeting with him did not leave me unimpressed. He was a tall, -stately man, distinguished in appearance, and of a serious and calm -temperament. He gave me to understand, in a touching, almost apologetic -manner, that the essence of his education and of his aversion from the -new tendencies in music, had its origin in the first impressions he had -received on hearing, as a very young boy, Mozart's Magic Flute, a work -which was quite new at that time, and which had a great influence on -his whole life. Regarding my libretto to Lohengrin, which I had left -behind for him to read, and the general impression which my personal -acquaintance had made on him, he expressed himself with almost -surprising warmth to my brother-in-law, Hermann Brockhaus, at whose -house we had been invited to dine, and where, during the meal, the -conversation was most animated. Besides this, we had met at real -musical evenings at the conductor Hauptmann's as well as at -Mendelssohn's, on which occasion I heard the master take the violin in -one of his own quartettes. It was precisely in these circles that I was -impressed by the touching and venerable dignity of his absolutely calm -demeanour. Later on, I learned from witnesses--for whose testimony, be -it said, I cannot vouch--that Tannhauser, when it was performed at -Cassel, had caused him so much confusion and pain that he declared he -could no longer follow me, and feared that I must be on the wrong road. - -In order to recover from all the hardships and cares I had gone -through, I now managed to obtain a special favour from the management, -in the form of a three months' leave, in which to improve my health in -rustic retirement, and to get pure air to breathe while composing some -new work. To this end I had chosen a peasant's house in the village of -Gross-Graupen, which is half-way between Pillnitz and the border of -what is known as 'Saxon Switzerland.' Frequent excursions to the -Porsberg, to the adjacent Liebethaler, and to the far distant bastion -helped to strengthen my unstrung nerves. While I was first planning the -music to Lohengrin, I was disturbed incessantly by the echoes of some -of the airs in Rossini's William Tell, which was the last opera I had -had to conduct. At last I happened to hit on an effective means of -stopping this annoying obtrusion: during my lonely walks I sang with -great emphasis the first theme from the Ninth Symphony, which had also -quite lately been revived in my memory. This succeeded! At Pirna, where -one can bathe in the river, I was surprised, on one of my almost -regular evening constitutionals, to hear the air from the Pilgrim's -Chorus out of Tannhauser whistled by some bather, who was invisible to -me. This first sign of the possibility of popularising the work, which -I had with such difficulty succeeded in getting performed in Dresden, -made an impression on me which no similar experience later on has ever -been able to surpass. Sometimes I received visits from friends in -Dresden, and among them Hans von Bulow, who was then sixteen years old, -came accompanied by Lipinsky. This gave me great pleasure, because I -had already noticed the interest which he took in me. Generally, -however, I had to rely only on my wife's company, and during my long -walks I had to be satisfied with my little dog Peps. During this summer -holiday, of which a great part of the time had at the beginning to be -devoted to the unpleasant task of arranging my business affairs, and -also to the improvement of my health, I nevertheless succeeded in -making a sketch of the music to the whole of the three acts of -Lohengrin, although this cannot be said to have consisted of anything -more than a very hasty outline. - -With this much gained, I returned in August to Dresden, and resumed my -duties as conductor, which every year seemed to become more and more -burdensome to me. Moreover, I immediately plunged once more into the -midst of troubles which had only just been temporarily allayed. The -business of publishing my operas, on the success of which I still -counted as the only means of liberating me from my difficult position, -demanded ever-fresh sacrifices if the enterprise were to be made worth -while. But as my income was now very much reduced, even the smallest -outlays necessarily led me into ever-new and more painful -complications; and I once more lost all courage. - -On the other hand, I tried to strengthen myself by again working -energetically at Lohengrin. While doing this, I proceeded in a manner -that I have not since repeated. I first of all completed the third act, -and in view of the criticism already mentioned of the characters and -conclusion of this act, I determined to try to make it the very pivot -of the whole opera. I wished to do this, if only for the sake of the -musical motive appearing in the story of the Holy Grail; but in other -respects the plan struck me as perfectly satisfactory. - -Owing to previous suggestions on my part, Gluck's Iphigenia in Aulis -was to be produced this winter. I felt it my duty to give more care and -attention to this work, which interested me particularly on account of -its subject, than I had given to the study of the Armida. In the first -place, I was upset by the translation in which the opera with the -Berlin score was presented to us. In order not to be led into false -interpretations through the instrumental additions which I considered -very badly applied in this score, I wrote for the original edition from -Paris. When I had made a thorough revision of the translation, with a -view merely to the correctness of declamation, I was spurred on by my -increasing interest to revise the score itself. I tried to bring the -poem as far as possible into agreement with Euripides' play of the same -name, by the elimination of everything which, in deference to French -taste, made the relationship between Achilles and Iphigenia one of -tender love. The chief alteration of all was to cut out the inevitable -marriage at the end. For the sake of the vitality of the drama I tried -to join the arias and choruses, which generally followed immediately -upon each other without rhyme or reason, by connecting links, prologues -and epilogues. In this I did my best, by the use of Gluck's themes, to -make the interpolations of a strange composer as unnoticeable as -possible. In the third act alone was I obliged to give Iphigenia, as -well as Artemis, whom I had myself introduced, recitatives of my own -composition. Throughout the rest of the work I revised the whole -instrumentation more or less thoroughly, but only with the object of -making the existing version produce the effect I desired. It was not -till the end of the year that I was able to finish this tremendous -task, and I had to postpone the completion of the third act of -Lohengrin, which I had already begun, until the New Year. - -The first thing to claim my attention at the beginning of the year -(1847) was the production of Iphigenia. I had to act as stage manager -in this case, and was even obliged to help the scene-painters and the -mechanicians over the smallest details. Owing to the fact that the -scenes in this opera were generally strung together somewhat clumsily -and without any apparent connection, it was necessary to recast them -completely, in order so to animate the representation as to give to the -dramatic action the life it lacked. A good deal of this faultiness of -construction seemed to me due to the many conventional practices which -were prevalent at the Paris Opera in Gluck's time. Mitterwurzer was the -only actor in the whole cast who gave me any pleasure. In the role of -Agamemnon he showed a thorough grasp of that character, and carried out -my instructions and suggestions to the letter, so that he succeeded in -giving a really splendid and intelligent rendering of the part. The -success of the whole performance was far beyond my expectations, and -even the directors were so surprised at the exceptional enthusiasm -aroused by one of Gluck's operas, that for the second performance they, -on their own initiative, had my name put on the programme as 'Reviser.' -This at once drew the attention of the critics to this work, and for -once they almost did me justice; my treatment of the overture, the only -part of the opera which these gentlemen heard rendered in the usual -trivial way, was the only thing that they could find fault with. I have -discussed and given an accurate account of all that relates to this in -a special article on 'Gluck's Overture to Iphigenia in Aulis' and I -only wish to add here that the musician who made such strange comments -on this occasion was Ferdinand Hiller. - -As in former years, the winter meetings of the various artistic -elements in Dresden which Hiller had inaugurated, continued to take -place; but they now assumed more the character of 'salons' in Hiller's -own house, and it seemed to me intended solely for the purpose of -laying the foundations for a general recognition of Hiller's artistic -greatness. He had already founded, among the more wealthy patrons of -art, the chief of whom was the banker Kaskel, a society for running -subscription concerts. As it was impossible for the royal orchestra to -be placed at his disposal for this purpose, he had to content himself -with members of the town and military bands for his orchestra, and it -cannot be denied that, thanks to his perseverance, he attained a -praiseworthy result. As he produced many compositions which were still -unknown in Dresden, especially from the domain of more modern music, I -was often tempted to go to his concerts. His chief bait to the general -public, however, seemed to lie in the fact that he presented unknown -singers (among whom, unfortunately, Jenny Lind was not to be found) and -virtuosos, one of which, Joachim, who was then very young, I became -acquainted with. - -Hiller's treatment of those works with which I was already well -acquainted, showed what his musical power was really worth. The -careless and indifferent manner in which he interpreted a Triple -Concerto by Sebastian Bach positively astounded me. In the tempo di -minuetto of the Eighth Symphony of Beethoven, I found that Hiller's -rendering was even more astonishing than Reissiger's and Mendelssohn's. -I promised to be present at the performance of this symphony if I could -rely on his giving a correct rendering of the tempo of the third -phrase, which was generally so painfully distorted, He assured me that -he thoroughly agreed with me about it, and my disappointment at the -performance was all the greater when I found the well-known waltz -measure adopted again. When I called him to account about it he excused -himself with a smile, saying that he had been seized with a fit of -temporary abstraction just at the beginning of the phrase in question, -which had made him forget his promise. For inaugurating these concerts, -which, as a matter of fact, only lasted for two seasons, Hiller was -given a banquet, which I also had much pleasure in attending. - -People in these circles were surprised at that time to hear me speak, -often with great animation, about Greek literature and history, but -never about music. In the course of my reading, which I zealously -pursued, and which drew me away from my professional activities to -retirement and solitude, I was at that time impelled by my spiritual -needs to turn my attention once more to a systematic study of this -all-important source of culture, with the object of filling the -perceptible gap between my boyhood's knowledge of the eternal elements -of human culture and the neglect of this field of learning due to the -life I had been obliged to lead. In order to approach the real goal of -my desires--the study of Old and Middle High German--in the right frame -of mind, I began again from the beginning with Greek antiquity, and was -now filled with such overwhelming enthusiasm for this subject that, -whenever I entered into conversation, and by hook or by crook had -managed to get it round to this theme, I could only speak in terms of -the strongest emotion. I occasionally met some one who seemed to listen -to what I had to say; on the whole, however, people preferred to talk -to me only about the theatre because, since my production of Gluck's -Iphigenia, they thought themselves justified in thinking I was an -authority on this subject. I received special recognition from a man to -whom I quite rightly gave the credit of being at least as well versed -as myself in the matter. This was Eduard Devrient, who had been forced -at that time to resign his position as stage manager-in-chief owing to -a plot against him on the part of the actors, headed by his own brother -Emil. We were brought into closer sympathy by our conversations in -connection with this, which led him into dissertations on the -triviality and thorough hopelessness of our whole theatrical life, -especially under the ruining influence of ignorant court managers, -which could never be overcome. - -We were also drawn together by his intelligent understanding of the -part I had played in the production of Iphigenia, which he compared -with the Berlin production of the same piece, that had been utterly -condemned by him. He was for a long time the only man with whom I could -discuss, seriously and in detail, the real needs of the theatre and the -means by which its defects might be remedied. Owing to his longer and -more specialised experience, there was much he could tell me and make -clear to me; in particular he helped me successfully to overcome the -idea that mere literary excellence is enough for the theatre, and -confirmed my conviction that the path to true prosperity lay only with -the stage itself and with the actors of the drama. - -From this time forward, till I left Dresden, my intercourse with Eduard -Devrient grew more and more friendly, though his dry nature and obvious -limitations as an actor had attracted me but little before. His highly -meritorious work, Die Geschichte der deutschen Schauspielkunst -('History of German Dramatic Art'), which he finished and published -about that time, threw a fresh and instructive light on many problems -which exercised my mind, and helped me to master them for the first -time. - -At last I managed once more to resume my task of composing the third -act of Lohengrin, which had been interrupted in the middle of the -Bridal Scene, and I finished it by the end of the winter. After the -repetition, by special request, of the Ninth Symphony at the concert on -Palm Sunday had revived me, I tried to find comfort and refreshment for -the further progress of my new work by changing my abode, this time -without asking permission. The old Marcolini palace, with a very large -garden laid out partly in the French style, was situated in an outlying -and thinly populated suburb of Dresden. - -It had been sold to the town council, and a part of it was to be let. -The sculptor, Hanel, whom I had known for a long time, and who had -given me as a mark of friendship an ornament in the shape of a perfect -plaster cast of one of the bas-reliefs from Beethoven's monument -representing the Ninth Symphony, had taken the large rooms on the -ground floor of a side-wing of this palace for his dwelling and studio. -At Easter I moved into the spacious apartments, above him, the rent of -which was extremely low, and found that the large garden planted with -glorious trees, which was placed at my disposal, and the pleasant -stillness of the whole place, not only provided mental food for the -weary artist, but at the same time, by lessening my expenses, improved -my straitened finances. We soon settled down quite comfortably in the -long row of pleasant rooms without having incurred any unnecessary -expense, as Minna was very practical in her arrangements. The only real -inconvenience which in the course of time I found our new home -possessed, was its inordinate distance from the theatre. This was a -great trial to me after fatiguing rehearsals and tiring performances, -as the expense of a cab was a serious consideration. But we were -favoured by an exceptionally fine summer, which put me in a happy frame -of mind, and soon helped to overcome every inconvenience. - -At this time I insisted with the utmost firmness on refraining from -taking any further share in the management of the theatre, and I had -most cogent reasons to bring forth in defence of my conduct. All my -endeavours to set in order the wilful chaos which prevailed in the use -of the costly artistic materials at the disposal of this royal -institution were repeatedly thwarted, merely because I wished to -introduce some method into the arrangements. In a carefully written -pamphlet which, in addition to my other work, I had compiled during the -past winter, I had drawn up a plan for the reorganisation of the -orchestra, and had shown how we might increase the productive power of -our artistic capital by making a more methodical use of the royal funds -intended for its maintenance, and showing greater discretion regarding -salaries. This increase in the productive power would raise the -artistic spirit as well as improve the economic position of the members -of the orchestra, for I should have liked them at the same time to form -an independent concert society. In such a capacity it would have been -their task to present to the people of Dresden, in the best possible -way, a kind of music which they had hitherto hardly had the opportunity -of enjoying at all. It would have been possible for such a union, -which, as I pointed out, had so many external circumstances in its -favour, to provide Dresden with a suitable concert-hall. I hear, -however, that such a place is wanting to this day. - -With this object in view I entered into close communication with -architects and builders, and the plans were completed, according to -which the scandalous buildings facing a wing of the renowned prison -opposite the Ostra Allee, and consisting of a shed for the members of -the theatre and a public wash-house, were to be pulled down and -replaced by a beautiful building, which, besides containing a large -concert-hall adapted to our requirements, would also have had other -large rooms which could have been, let out on hire at a profit. The -practicality of these plans was disputed by no one, as even the -administrators of the orchestra's widows' fund saw in them an -opportunity for the safe and advantageous laying out of capital; yet -they were returned to me, after long consideration on the part of the -general management, with thanks and an acknowledgment of my careful -work, and the curt reply that it was thought better for things to -remain as they were. - -All my proposals for meeting the useless waste and drain upon our -artistic capital by a more methodical arrangement, met with the same -success in every detail that I suggested. I had also found out by long -experience that every proposal which had to be discussed and decided -upon in the most tiring committee meetings, as for instance the -starting of a repertoire, might at any moment be overthrown and altered -for the worse by the temper of a singer or the plan of a junior -business inspector. I was therefore driven to renounce my wasted -efforts and, after many a stormy discussion and outspoken expression of -my sentiments, I withdrew from taking any part whatever in any branch -of the management, and limited myself entirely to holding rehearsals -and conducting performances of the operas provided for me. - -Although my relations with Luttichau grew more and more strained on -this account, for the time being it mattered little whether my conduct -pleased him or not, as otherwise my position was one which commanded -respect, on account of the ever-increasing popularity of Tannhauser and -Rienzi, which were presented during the summer to houses packed with -distinguished visitors, and were invariably chosen for the gala -performances. - -By thus going my own way and refusing to be interfered with, I -succeeded this summer, amid the delightful and perfect seclusion of my -new home, in preserving myself in a frame of mind exceedingly -favourable to the completion of my Lohengrin. My studies, which, as I -have already mentioned, I pursued eagerly at the same time as I was -working on my opera, made me feel more light-hearted than I had ever -done before. For the first time I now mastered AEschylus with real -feeling and understanding. Droysen's eloquent commentaries in -particular helped to bring before my imagination the intoxicating -effect of the production of an Athenian tragedy, so that I could see -the Oresteia with my mind's eye, as though it were actually being -performed, and its effect upon me was indescribable. Nothing, however, -could equal the sublime emotion with which the Agamemnon trilogy -inspired me, and to the last word of the Eumenides I lived in an -atmosphere so far removed from the present day that I have never since -been really able to reconcile myself with modern literature. My ideas -about the whole significance of the drama and of the theatre were, -without a doubt, moulded by these impressions. I worked my way through -the other tragedians, and finally reached Aristophanes. When I had -spent the morning industriously upon the completion of the music for -Lohengrin, I used to creep into the depths of a thick shrubbery in my -part of the garden to get shelter from the summer heat, which was -becoming more intense every day. My delight in the comedies of -Aristophanes was boundless, when once his Birds had plunged me into the -full torrent of the genius of this wanton favourite of the Graces, as -he used to call himself with conscious daring. Side by side with this -poet I read the principal dialogues of Plato, and from the Symposium I -gained such a deep insight into the wonderful beauty of Greek life that -I felt myself more truly at home in ancient Athens than in any -conditions which the modern world has to offer. - -As I was following out a settled course of self-education, I did not -wish to pursue my way further in the leading-strings of any literary -history, and I consequently turned my attention from the historical -studies, which seemed to be my own peculiar province, and in which -department Droysen's history of Alexander and the Hellenistic period, -as well as Niebuhr and Gibbon, were of great help to me, and fell back -once more upon my old and trusty guide, Jakob Grimm, for the study of -German antiquity. In my efforts to master the myths of Germany more -thoroughly than had been possible in my former perusal of the Nibelung -and the Heldenbuch, Mone's particularly suggestive commentary on this -Heldensage filled me with delight, although stricter scholars regarded -this work with suspicion on account of the boldness of some of its -statements. By this means I was drawn irresistibly to the northern -sagas; and I now tried, as far as was possible without a fluent -knowledge of the Scandinavian languages, to acquaint myself with the -Edda, as well as with the prose version which existed of a considerable -portion of the Heldensage. - -Read by the light of Mone's Commentaries, the Wolsungasaga had a -decided influence upon my method of handling this material. My -conceptions as to the inner significance of these old-world legends, -which had been growing for a long time, gradually gained strength and -moulded themselves with the plastic forms which inspired my later works. - -All this was sinking into my mind and slowly maturing, whilst with -unfeigned delight I was finishing the music of the first two acts of -Lohengrin, which were now at last completed. I now succeeded in -shutting out the past and building up for myself a new world of the -future, which presented itself with ever-growing clearness to my mind -as the refuge whither I might retreat from all the miseries of modern -opera and theatre life. At the same time, my health and temper were -settling down into a mood of almost unclouded serenity, which made me -oblivious for a long time of all the worries of my position. I used to -walk every day up into the neighbouring hills, which rose from the -banks of the Elbe to the Plauenscher Grand. I generally went alone, -except for the company of our little dog Peps, and my excursions always -resulted in producing a satisfactory number of ideas. At the same time, -I found I had developed a capacity, which I had never possessed before, -for good-tempered intercourse with the friends and acquaintances who -liked to come from time to time to the Marcolini garden to share my -simple supper. My visitors used often to find me perched on a high -branch of a tree, or on the neck of the Neptune which was the central -figure of a large group of statuary in the middle of an old fountain, -unfortunately always dry, belonging to the palmy days of the Marcolini -estate. I used to enjoy walking with my friends up and down the broad -footpath of the drive leading to the real palace, which had been laid -especially for Napoleon in the fatal year 1813, when he had fixed his -headquarters there. - -By August, the last month of summer, I had completely finished the -composition of Lohengrin, and felt that it was high time for me to have -done so, as the needs of my position demanded imperatively that I -should give my most serious attention to improving it, and it became a -matter of supreme importance for me once more to take steps for having -my operas produced in the German theatres. - -Even the success of Tannhauser in Dresden, which became more obvious -every day, did not attract the smallest notice anywhere else. Berlin -was the only place which had any influence in the theatrical world of -Germany, and I ought long before to have given my undivided attention -to that city. From all I had heard of the special tastes of Friedrich -Wilhelm IV., I felt perfectly justified in assuming that he would feel -sympathetically inclined towards my later works and conceptions if I -could only manage to bring them to his notice in the right light. On -this hypothesis I had already thought of dedicating Tannhauser to him, -and to gain permission to do so I had to apply to Count Redern, the -court musical director. From him I heard that the King could only -accept the dedication of works which had actually been performed in his -presence, and of which he thus had a personal knowledge. As my -Tannhauser had been refused by the managers of the court theatre -because it was considered too epic in form, the Count added that if I -wished to remain firm in my resolve, there was only one way out of the -difficulty, and that was to adapt my opera as far as possible to a -military band, and try to bring it to the King's notice on parade. This -drove me to determine upon another plan of attack on Berlin. - -After this experience I saw that I must open my campaign there with the -opera that had won the most decided triumph in Dresden. I therefore -obtained an audience of the Queen of Saxony, the sister of the King of -Prussia, and begged her to use her influence with her brother to obtain -a performance in Berlin by royal command of my Rienzi, which was also a -favourite with the court of Saxony. This manoeuvre was successful, and -I soon received a communication from my old friend Kustner to say that -the production of Rienzi was fixed for a very early date at the Berlin -Court Theatre, and at the same time expressing the hope that I would -conduct my work in person. As a very handsome author's royalty had been -paid by this theatre, at the instigation of Kustner, on the occasion of -the production of his old Munich friend Lachner's opera, Katharina von -Cornaro, I hoped to realise a very substantial improvement in my -finances if only the success of Rienzi in this city in any degree -rivalled that in Dresden. But my chief desire was to make the -acquaintance of the King of Prussia, so that I might read him the text -of my Lohengrin, and arouse his interest in my work. This from various -signs I flattered myself was perfectly possible, in which case I -intended to beg him to command the first performance of Lohengrin to be -given at his court theatre. - -After my strange experiences as to the way in which my success in -Dresden had been kept secret from the rest of Germany, it seemed to me -a matter of vital importance to make the future centre of my artistic -enterprises the only place which exercised any influence on the outside -world, and as such I was forced to regard Berlin. Inspired by the -success of my recommendation to the Queen of Prussia, I hoped to gain -access to the King himself, which I regarded as a most important step. -Full of confidence, and in excellent spirits, I set out for Berlin in -September, trusting to a favourable turn of Fortune's wheel, in the -first place for the rehearsals of Rienzi, though my interests were no -longer centred in this work. - -Berlin made the same impression on me as on the occasion of my former -visit, when I saw it again after my long absence in Paris. Professor -Werder, my friend of the Fliegender Hollander, had taken lodgings for -me in advance in the renowned Gensdarmeplatz, but when I looked at the -view from my windows every day I could not believe that I was in a city -which was the very centre of Germany. Soon, however, I was completely -absorbed by the cares of the task I had in hand. - -I had nothing to complain of with regard to the official preparations -for Rienzi, but I soon noticed that it was looked upon merely as a -conductor's opera, that is to say, all the materials to hand were duly -placed at my disposal, but the management had not the slightest -intention of doing anything more for me. All the arrangements for my -rehearsals were entirely upset as soon as a visit from Jenny Lind was -announced, and she occupied the Royal Opera exclusively for some time. - -During the delay thus caused I did all I could to attain my main -object--an introduction to the King--and for this purpose made use of -my former acquaintance with the court musical director, Count Redern. -This gentleman received me at once with the greatest affability, -invited me to dinner and a soiree, and entered into a hearty discussion -with me about the steps necessary for attaining my purpose, in which he -promised to do his utmost to help me. I also paid frequent visits to -Sans-Souci, in order to pay my respects to the Queen and express my -thanks to her. But I never got further than an interview with the -ladies-in-waiting, and I was advised to put myself into communication -with M. Illaire, the head of the Royal Privy Council. This gentleman -seemed to be impressed by the seriousness of my request, and promised -to do what he could to further my wish for a personal introduction to -the King. He asked what my real object was, and I told him it was to -get permission from the King to read my libretto Lohengrin to him. On -the occasion of one of my oft-repeated visits from Berlin, he asked me -whether I did not think it would be advisable to bring a recommendation -of my work from Tieck. I was able to tell him that I had already had -the pleasure of bringing my case to the notice of the old poet, who -lived near Potsdam as a royal pensioner. - -I remembered very well that Frau von Luttichau had sent the themes -Lohengrin and Tannhauser to her old friend some years ago, when these -matters were first mentioned between us. When I called upon Tieck, I -was welcomed by him almost as a friend, and I found my long talks with -him exceedingly valuable. Although Tieck had perhaps gained a somewhat -doubtful reputation for the leniency with which he would give his -recommendation for the dramatic works of those who applied to him, yet -I was pleased by the genuine disgust with which he spoke of our latest -dramatic literature, which was modelling itself on the style of modern -French stagecraft, and his complaint at the utter lack of any true -poetic feeling in it was heartfelt. He declared himself delighted with -my poem of Lohengrin, but could not understand how all this was to be -set to music without a complete change in the conventional structure of -an opera, and on this score he objected to such scenes as that between -Ortrud and Frederick at the beginning of the second act. I thought I -had roused him to a real enthusiasm when I explained how I proposed to -solve these apparent difficulties, and also described my own ideals -about musical drama. But the higher I soared the sadder he grew when I -had once made known to him my hope of securing the patronage of the -King of Prussia for these conceptions, and the working out of my scheme -for an ideal drama. He had no doubt that the King would listen to me -with the greatest interest, and even seize upon my ideas with warmth, -only I must not entertain the smallest hope of any practical result, -unless I wished to expose myself to the bitterest disappointment. 'What -can you expect from a man who to-day is enthusiastic about Gluck's -Iphigenia in Tauris, and to-morrow mad about Donizetti's Lucrezia -Borgia?' he said. Tieck's conversation about these and similar topics -was much too entertaining and charming for me to give any serious -weight to the bitterness of his views. He gladly promised to recommend -my poem, more particularly to Privy Councillor Illaire, and dismissed -me with hearty goodwill and his sincere though anxious blessing. The -only result of all my labours was that the desired invitation from the -King still hung fire. As the rehearsals for Rienzi, which had been -postponed on account of Jenny Lind's visit, were being carried on -seriously again, I made up my mind to take no further trouble before -the performance of my opera, as I thought myself, at any rate, -justified in counting on the presence of the monarch on the first -night, as the piece was being played at his express command, and at the -same time I hoped this would conduce to the fulfilment of my main -object. However, the nearer we came to the event the lower did the -hopes I had built upon it sink. To play the part of the hero I had to -be satisfied with a tenor who was absolutely devoid of talent, and far -below the average. He was a conscientious, painstaking man, and had -moreover been strongly recommended to me by my kind host, the renowned -Meinhard. After I had taken infinite pains with him, and had in -consequence, as so often happens, conjured up in my mind certain -illusions as to what I might expect from his acting, I was obliged, -when it came to the final test of the dress rehearsal, to confess my -true opinion. I realised that the scenery, chorus, ballet, and minor -parts were on the whole excellent, but that the chief character, around -whom in this particular opera everything centred, faded into an -insignificant phantom. The reception which this opera met with at the -hands of the public when it was produced in October was also due to -him; but in consequence of the fairly good rendering of a few brilliant -passages, and more especially on account of the enthusiastic -recognition of Frau Koster in the part of Adriano, it might have been -concluded from all the external signs that the opera had been fairly -successful. Nevertheless, I knew very well that this seeming triumph -could have no real substance, as only the immaterial parts of my work -could reach the eyes and ears of the audience; its essential spirit had -not entered their hearts. Moreover, the Berlin reviewers in their usual -way began their attacks immediately, with the view of demolishing any -success my opera might have won, so that after the second performance, -which I also conducted myself, I began to wonder whether my desperate -labours were really worth while. - -When I asked the few intimate friends I had their opinion on this -point, I elicited much valuable information. Among these friends I must -mention, in the first place, Hermann Franck, whom I found again. He had -lately settled in Berlin, and did much to encourage me. I spent the -most enjoyable part of those sad two months in his company, of which, -however, I had but too little. Our conversation generally turned upon -reminiscences of the old days, and on to topics which had no connection -with the theatre, so that I was almost ashamed to trouble him with my -complaints on this subject, especially as they concerned my worries -about a work which I could not pretend was of any practical importance -to the stage. He for his part soon arrived at the conclusion that it -had been foolish of me to choose my Rienzi for this occasion, as it was -an opera which appealed merely to the general public, in preference to -my Tannhauser, which might have educated a party in Berlin useful to my -higher aims. He maintained that the very nature of this work would have -aroused a fresh interest in the drama in the minds of people who, like -himself, were no longer to be counted among regular theatre-goers, -precisely because they had given up all hope of ever finding any nobler -ideals of the stage. - -The curious information as to the character of Berlin art in other -respects, which Werder gave me from time to time, was most -discouraging. With regard to the public, he told me once that at a -performance of an unknown work, it was quite useless for me to expect a -single member of the audience from the stalls to the gallery to take -his seat with any better object in view than to pick as many holes as -possible in the production. Although Werder did not wish to discourage -me in any of my endeavours, he felt himself obliged to warn me -continually not to expect anything above the average from the cultured -society of Berlin. He liked to see proper respect paid to the really -considerable gifts of the King; and when I asked him how he thought the -latter would receive my ideas about the ennobling of opera, he -answered, after having listened attentively to a long and fiery tirade -on my part: 'The King would say to you, "Go and consult Stawinsky!"' -This was the opera manager, a fat, smug creature who had grown rusty in -following out the most jog-trot routine. In short, everything I learned -was calculated to discourage me. I called on Bernhard Marx, who some -years ago had shown a kindly interest in my Fliegender Hollander, and -was courteously received by him. This man, who in his earlier writings -and musical criticisms had seemed to me filled with a fire of energy, -now struck me as extraordinarily limp and listless when I saw him by -the side of his young wife, who was radiantly and bewitchingly -beautiful. From his conversation I soon learned that he also had -abandoned even the remotest hope of success for any efforts directed -towards the object so dear to both our hearts, on account of the -inconceivable shallowness of all the officials connected with the head -authority. He told me of the extraordinary fate which had befallen a -scheme he had brought to the notice of the King for founding a school -of music. In a special audience the King had gone into the matter with -the greatest interest, and noticed the minutest detail, so that Marx -felt justified in entertaining the strongest possible hopes of success. -However, all his labours and negotiations about the business, in the -course of which he was driven from pillar to post, proved utterly -futile, until at last he was told to have an interview with a certain -general. This personage, like the King, had Marx's proposals explained -to him in the minutest detail, and expressed his warmest sympathy with -the undertaking. 'And there,' said Marx, at the end of this long -rigmarole, 'the matter ended, and I never heard another word about it.' - -One day I learned that Countess Rossi, the renowned Henriette Sontag, -who was living in quiet seclusion in Berlin, had pleasant recollections -of me in Dresden, and wished me to visit her. She had at this time -already fallen into the unfortunate position which was so detrimental -to her artistic career. She too complained bitterly of the general -apathy of the influential classes in Berlin, which effectually -prevented any artistic aims from being realised. It was her opinion -that the King found a sort of satisfaction in knowing that the theatre -was badly managed, for though he never opposed any criticisms which he -received on the subject, he likewise never supported any proposal for -its improvement. She expressed a wish to know something of my latest -work, and I gave her my poem of Lohengrin for perusal. On the occasion -of my next morning call she told me she would send me an invitation to -a musical evening which she was going to have at her house in honour of -the Grand Duke of Mecklenburg-Strelitz, her elderly patron, and she -also gave me back the manuscript of Lohengrin, with the assurance that -it had appealed to her very much, and that while she was reading it she -had often seen the little fairies and elves dancing about in front of -her. As in the old days I had been heartily encouraged by the warm and -friendly sympathy of this naturally cultured woman, I now felt as if -cold water had been suddenly poured down my back. I soon took my leave, -and never saw her again. Indeed, I had no particular object in doing -so, as the promised invitation never came. Herr E. Kossak also sought -me out, and although our acquaintance did not lead to much, I was -sufficiently kindly received by him to give him my poem of Lohengrin to -read. I went one day by appointment to see him, and found that his room -had just been scrubbed with boiling water. The steam from this -operation was so unbearable that it had already given him a headache, -and was not less disagreeable to me. He looked into my face with an -almost tender expression when he gave me back the manuscript of my -poem, and assured me, in accents which admitted of no doubt of his -sincerity, that he thought it 'very pretty.' - -I found my casual intercourse with H. Truhn rather more entertaining. I -used to treat him to a good glass of wine at Lutter and Wegener's, -where I went occasionally on account of its association with Hoffmann, -and he would then listen with apparently growing interest to my ideas -as to the possible development of opera and the goal at which we should -aim. His comments were generally witty and very much to the point, and -his lively and animated ways pleased me very much. After the production -of Rienzi, however, he too, as a critic, joined the majority of -scoffers and detractors. The only person who supported me stoutly but -uselessly, through thick and thin, was my old friend Gaillard. His -little music-shop was not a success, his musical journal had already -failed, so that he was only able to help me in small ways. -Unfortunately I discovered not only that he was the author of many -exceedingly dubious dramatic works, for which he wished to gain my -support, but also that he was apparently in the last stages of the -disease from which he was suffering, so that the little intercourse I -had with him, in spite of all his fidelity and devotion, only exercised -a melancholy and depressing influence upon me. - -But as I had embarked upon this Berlin enterprise in contradiction to -all my inmost wishes, and prompted solely by the desire of winning the -success so vital to my position, I made up my mind to make a personal -appeal to Rellstab. - -As in the case of the Fliegender Hollander he had taken exception more -particularly to its 'nebulousness' and 'lack of form,' I thought I -might with advantage point out to him the brighter and clearer outline -of Rienzi. He seemed to be pleased at my thinking I could get anything -out of him, but told me at once of his firm conviction that any new art -form was utterly impossible after Gluck, and that the only thing that -the best of good luck and hard work was capable of producing was -meaningless bombast. I then realised that in Berlin all hope had been -abandoned. I was told that Meyerbeer was the only man who had been able -in any way to master the situation. - -This former patron of mine I met once more in Berlin, and he declared -that he still took an interest in me. As soon as I arrived I called on -him, but in the hall I found his servant busy packing up trunks, and -learned that Meyerbeer was just going away. His master confirmed this -assertion, and regretted that he would not be able to do anything for -me, so I had to say good-bye and how-do-you-do at the same time. For -some time I thought he really was away, but after a few weeks I learned -to my surprise that he was still staying in Berlin without letting -himself be seen by any one, and at last he made his appearance again at -one of the rehearsals of Rienzi. What this meant I only discovered -later from a rumour which was circulated among the initiated, and -imparted to me by Eduard von Bulow, my young friend's father. Without -having the slightest idea how it originated, I learned, about the -middle of my stay in Berlin, from the conductor Taubert, that he had -heard on very good authority that I was trying for a director's post at -the court theatre, and had good expectations of securing the -appointment in addition to special privileges. In order to remain on -good terms with Taubert, as it was very necessary for me to do, I had -to give him the most solemn assurances that such an idea had never even -entered my head, and that I would not accept such a position if it were -offered to me. On the other hand, all my endeavours to get access to -the King continued to be fruitless. My chief mediator, to whom I always -turned, was still Count Redern, and although my attention had been -called to his staunch adherence to Meyerbeer, his extraordinary open -and friendly manner always strengthened my belief in his honesty. At -last the only medium that remained open to me was the fact that the -King could not possibly stay away from the performance of Rienzi, given -at his express command, and on this conviction I based all further hope -of approaching him. Whereupon Count Redern informed me, with an -expression of deep despair, that on the very day of the first -performance the monarch would be away on a hunting party. Once more I -begged him to make very effort in his power to secure the King's -presence, at least at the second performance, and at length my -inexhaustible patron told me that he could not make head or tail of it, -but his Majesty seemed to have conceived an utter disinclination to -accede to my wish; he himself had heard these hard words fall from the -royal lips: 'Oh bother! have you come to me again with your Rienzi?' - -At this second performance I had a pleasant experience. After the -impressive second act the public showed signs of wishing to call me, -and as I went from the orchestra to the vestibule, in order to be ready -if necessary, my foot slipped on the smooth parquet, and I might have -had perhaps a serious fall had I not felt my arm grasped by a strong -hand. I turned, and recognised the Crown Prince of Prussia [FOOTNOTE: -This Prince subsequently became the Emperor William the First. He was -given the title of Crown Prince in 1840 on the death of his father, -Frederick William III., as he was then heir-presumptive to his brother, -Frederick William IV., whose marriage was without issue.--EDITOR.], who -had come out of his box, and who at once seized the opportunity of -inviting me to follow him to his wife, who wished to make my -acquaintance. She had only just arrived in Berlin, and told me that she -had heard my opera for the first time that evening, and expressed her -appreciation of it. She had, however, long ago received very favourable -reports of me and my artistic aims from a common friend, Alwine -Frommann. The whole tenor of this interview, at which the Prince was -present, was unusually friendly and pleasant. - -It was indeed my old friend Alwine who in Berlin had not only followed -all my fortunes with the greatest sympathy, but had also done all in -her power to give me consolation and courage to endure. Almost every -evening, when the day's business made it possible, I used to visit her -for an hour of recreation, and gain strength from her ennobling -conversation for the struggle against the reverses of the following -day. I was particularly pleased by the warm and intelligent sympathy -which she and our mutual friend Werder devoted to Lohengrin, the object -of all my labours at that time. On the arrival of her friend and -patroness, the Crown Princess, which had been delayed till now, she -hoped to hear something more definite as to how my affairs stood with -the King, although she intimated to me that even this great lady was in -deep disfavour, and could only bring her influence to bear upon the -King by observing the strictest etiquette. But from this source also no -news reached me till it was time for me to leave Berlin and I could -postpone my departure no longer. - -As I had to conduct a third performance of Rienzi, and there still -remained a remote possibility of receiving a sudden command to -Sans-Souci, I accordingly fixed on a date which would be the very -latest I could wait to ascertain the fate of the projects I had nearest -to heart. This period passed by, and I was forced to realise that my -hopes of Berlin were wholly shattered. - -I was in a very depressed state when I made up my mind to this -conclusion. I can seldom remember having been so dreadfully affected by -the influence of cold and wet weather and an eternally grey sky as -during those last wretched weeks in Berlin, when everything that I -heard, in addition to my own private anxieties, weighed upon me with a -leaden weight of discouragement. - -My conversations with Hermann Franck about the social and political -situation had assumed a peculiarly gloomy tone, as the King of -Prussia's efforts to summon a united conference had failed. I was among -those who had at first been inclined to see a hopeful significance in -this undertaking, but it was a shock to have all the intimate details -relating to the project clearly set before me by so well informed a man -as Franck. His dispassionate views on this subject, as well as on the -Prussian State in particular, which was supposed to be representative -of German intelligence, and was universally considered to be a model of -order and good government, so completely disillusioned me and destroyed -all the favourable and hopeful opinions I had formed of it, that I felt -as if I had plunged into chaos, and realised the utter futility of -expecting a prosperous settlement of the German question from this -quarter. If in the midst of my misery in Dresden I had founded great -hopes from gaining the King of Prussia's sympathy for my ideas, I could -no longer close my eyes to the fearful hollowness which the state of -affairs disclosed to me on every side. - -In this despairing mood I felt but little emotion when, on going to say -good-bye to Count Redern, he told me with a very sad face the news, -which had just arrived, of Mendelssohn's death. I certainly did not -realise this stroke of fate, which Redern's obvious grief first brought -to my notice. At all events, he was spared more detailed and heartfelt -explanation of my own affairs, which he had so much at heart. - -The only thing that remained for me to do in Berlin was to try and make -my material success balance my material loss. For a stay of two months, -during which my wife and my sister Clara had been with me, lured on by -the hope that the production of Rienzi in Berlin would be a brilliant -success, I found my old friend, Director Kustner, by no means inclined -to compensate me. From his correspondence with me he could prove up to -the hilt that legally he had only expressed the desire for my -co-operation in studying Rienzi, but had given me no positive -invitation. As I was prevented by Count Redern's grief over -Mendelssohn's death from going to him for help in these trivial private -concerns, there was no alternative but for me to accept with a good -grace Kustner's beneficence in paying me on the spot the royalties on -the three performances which had already taken place. The Dresden -authorities were surprised when I found myself obliged to beg an -advance of income from them in order to conclude this brilliant -undertaking in Berlin. - -As I was travelling with my wife in the most horrible weather through -the deserted country on my way home, I fell into a mood of the blackest -despair, which I thought I might perhaps survive once in a lifetime but -never again. Nevertheless, it amused me, as I sat silently looking out -of the carriage into the grey mist, to hear my wife enter into a lively -discussion with a commercial traveller who, in the course of friendly -conversation, had spoken in a disparaging way about the 'new opera -Rienzi.' My wife, with great heat and even passion, corrected various -mistakes made by this hostile critic, and to her great satisfaction -made him confess that he had not heard the opera himself, but had only -based his opinion upon hearsay and the reviews. Whereupon my wife -pointed out to him most earnestly that 'he could not possibly know -whose future he might not injure by such irresponsible comment.' - -These were the only cheering and consoling impressions which I carried -back with me to Dresden, where I soon felt the direct results of the -reverses I had suffered in Berlin in the condolences of my -acquaintances. The papers had spread abroad the news that my opera had -been a dismal failure. The most painful part of the whole proceeding -was that I had to meet these expressions of pity with a cheerful -countenance and the assurance that things were by no means so bad as -had been made out, but that, on the contrary, I had had many pleasant -experiences. - -This unaccustomed effort placed me in a position strangely similar to -that in which I found Hiller on my return to Dresden. He had given a -performance of his new opera, Conradin von Hohenstaufen, here just -about this time. He had kept the composition of this work a secret from -me, and had hoped to make a decided hit with it after the three -performances which took place in my absence. Both the poet and the -composer thought that in this work they had combined the tendencies and -effects of my Rienzi with those of my Tannhauser in a manner peculiarly -suited to the Dresden public. As he was just setting out for -Dusseldorf, where he had been appointed concert-director, he commended -his work with great confidence to my tender mercies, and regretted not -having the power of appointing me the conductor of it. He acknowledged -that he owed his great success partly to the wonderfully happy -rendering of the male part of Conradin by my niece Johanna. She, in her -turn, told me with equal confidence that without her Hiller's opera -would not have had such an extraordinary triumph. I was now really -anxious to see this fortunate work and its wonderful staging for -myself; and this I was able to do, as a fourth performance was -announced after Hiller and his family had left Dresden for good. When I -entered the theatre at the beginning of the overture to take my place -in the stalls, I was astonished to find all the seats, with a few -scarcely noticeable exceptions, absolutely empty. At the other end of -my row I saw the poet who had written the libretto, the gentle painter -Reinike. We moved, naturally, towards the middle of the space and -discussed the strange position in which we found ourselves. He poured -out melancholy complaints to me about Hiller's musical setting to his -poetry; the secret of the mistake which Hiller had made about the -success of his work he did not explain, and was evidently very much -upset at the conspicuous failure of the opera. It was from another -quarter that I learned how it had been possible for Hiller to deceive -himself in such an extraordinary way. Frau Hiller, who was of Polish -origin, had managed at the frequent Polish gatherings which took place -in Dresden to persuade a large contingent of her countrymen, who were -keen theatre-goers, to attend her husband's opera. On the first night -these friends, with their usual enthusiasm, incited the public to -applaud, but had themselves found so little pleasure in the work that -they had stayed away from the second performance, which was otherwise -badly attended, so that the opera could only be considered a failure. -By commandeering all the help that could possibly be got from the Poles -by way of applause, every effort was made to secure a third performance -on a Sunday, when the theatre generally filled of its own accord. This -object was achieved, and the Polish theatre aristocracy, with the -charity that was habitual to them, fulfilled their duty towards the -needy couple in whose drawing-room they had often spent such pleasant -evenings. - -Once more the composer was called before the curtain, and everything -went off well. Hiller thereupon placed his confidence in the verdict on -the third performance, according to which his opera was an undoubted -success, just as had been the case with my Tannhauser. The -artificiality of this proceeding was, however, exposed by this fourth -performance, at which I was present, and at which no one was under an -obligation to the departed composer to attend. Even my niece was -disgusted with it, and thought that the best singer in the world could -not make a success of such a tedious opera. Whilst we were watching -this miserable performance I managed to point out to the poet some -weaknesses and faults that were to be found in the subject-matter. The -latter reported my criticisms to Hiller, whereupon I received a warm -and friendly letter from Dusseldorf, in which Hiller acknowledged the -mistake he had made in rejecting my advice on this point. He gave me -plainly to understand that it was not too late to alter the opera -according to my suggestions; I should thus have had the inestimable -benefit of having such an obviously well-intentioned, and, in its way, -so significant, a work in the repertoire, but I never got so far as -that. - -On the other hand, I experienced the small satisfaction of hearing the -news that two performances of my Rienzi had taken place in Berlin, for -the success of which Conductor Taubert, as he informed me himself, -thought he had won some credit on account of the extremely effective -combinations he had arranged. In spite of this, I was absolutely -convinced that I must abandon all hope of any lasting and profitable -success from Berlin, and I could no longer hide from Luttichau that, if -I were to continue in the discharge of my duties with the necessary -good spirits, I must insist on a rise of salary, as, beyond my regular -income, I could not rely on any substantial success wherewith to meet -my unlucky publishing transactions. My income was so small that I could -not even live on it, but I asked nothing more than to be placed on an -equal footing with my colleague Reissiger, a prospect which had been -held out to me from the beginning. - -At this juncture Luttichau saw a favourable opportunity for making me -feel my dependence on his goodwill, which could only be secured by my -showing due deference to his wishes. After I had laid my case before -the King, at a personal interview, and asked for the favour of the -moderate increase in income which was my object, Luttichau promised to -make the report he was obliged to give of me as favourable as possible. -How great was my consternation and humiliation when one day he opened -our interview by telling me that his report had come back from the -King. In it was set forth that I had unfortunately overestimated my -talent on account of the foolish praise of various friends in a high -position (among whom he counted Frau v. Konneritz), and had thus been -led to consider that I had quite as good a right to success as -Meyerbeer. I had thereby caused such serious offence that it might, -perhaps, be considered advisable to dismiss me altogether. On the other -hand, my industry and my praiseworthy performance with regard to the -revision of Gluck's Iphigenia, which had been brought to the notice of -the management, might justify my being given another chance, in which -case my material condition must be given due consideration. At this -point I could read no further, and stupefied by surprise I gave my -patron back the paper. He tried at once to remove the obviously bad -impression it had made upon me by telling me that my wish had been -granted, and I could draw the nine hundred marks belonging to me at -once from the bank. I took my leave in silence, and pondered over what -course of action I must pursue in face of this disgrace, as it was -quite out of the question for me to accept the nine hundred marks. - -But in the midst of these adversities a visit of the King of Prussia to -Dresden was one day announced, and at the same time by his special -request a performance of Tannhauser was arranged. He really did make -his appearance in the theatre at this performance in the company of the -royal family of Saxony, and stayed with apparent interest from -beginning to end. On this occasion the King gave a curious explanation -for having stayed away from the performances of Rienzi in Berlin, which -was afterwards reported to me. He said he had denied himself the -pleasure of hearing one of my operas in Berlin, because it was -important to get a good impression of them, and he knew that in his own -theatre they would only be badly produced. This strange event had, at -any rate, the result of giving me back sufficient self-confidence to -accept the nine hundred marks of which I was in such desperate need. - -Luttichau also seemed to make a point of winning back my trust to some -extent, and I gathered from his calm friendliness that I must suppose -this wholly uncultured man had no consciousness of the outrage he had -done me. He returned to the idea of having orchestral concerts, in -accordance with the suggestions I had made in my rejected report on the -orchestra, and in order to induce me to arrange such musical -performances in the theatre, said the initiative had come from the -management and not from the orchestra itself. As soon as I discovered -that the profits were to go to the orchestra I willingly entered into -the plan. By a special device of my own the stage of the theatre was -made into a concert-hall (afterwards considered first-class) by means -of a sounding board enclosing the whole orchestra, which proved a great -success. In future six performances were to take place during the -winter months. This time, however, as it was the end of the year, and -we only had the second half of the winter before us, subscription -tickets were issued for only three concerts, and the whole available -space in the theatre was filled by the public. I found the preparations -for this fairly diverting, and entered upon the fateful year 1848 in a -rather more reconciled and amiable frame of mind. - -Early in the New Year the first of these orchestral concerts took -place, and brought me much popularity on account of its unusual -programme. I had discovered that if any real significance were to be -given to these concerts, in distinction to those consisting of -heterogeneous scraps of music of every different species under the sun, -and which are so opposed to all serious artistic taste, we could only -afford to give two kinds of genuine music alternately if a good effect -was to be produced. Accordingly between two symphonies I placed one or -two longer vocal pieces, which were not to be heard elsewhere, and -these were the only items in the whole concert. After the Mozart -Symphony in D major, I made all the musicians move from their places to -make room for an imposing choir, which had to sing Palestrina's Stabat -Mater, from an adaptation of the original recitative, which I had -carefully revised, and Bach's Motet for eight voices: Singet dem Herrn -ein neues Lied ('Sing unto the Lord a new song'); thereupon I let the -orchestra again take its place to play Beethoven's Sinfonia Eroica, and -with that to end the concert. - -This success was very encouraging, and disclosed to me a somewhat -consoling prospect of increasing my influence as musical conductor at a -time when my disgust was daily growing stronger at the constant -meddling with our opera repertoire, which made me lose more and more -influence as compared with the wishes of my would-be prima donna niece, -whom even Tichatschek supported. Immediately on my return from Berlin I -had begun the orchestration of Lohengrin, and in all other respects had -given myself up to greater resignation, which made me feel I could face -my fate calmly, when I suddenly received a very disturbing piece of -news. - -In the beginning of February my mother's death was announced to me. I -at once hastened to her funeral at Leipzig, and was filled with deep -emotion and joy at the wonderfully calm and sweet expression of her -face. She had passed the latter years of her life, which had before -been so active and restless, in cheerful ease, and at the end in -peaceful and almost childlike happiness. On her deathbed she exclaimed -in humble modesty, and with a bright smile on her face: 'Oh! how -beautiful! how lovely! how divine! Why do I deserve such favour?' It -was a bitterly cold morning when we lowered the coffin into the grave -in the churchyard, and the hard, frozen lumps of earth which we -scattered on the lid, instead of the customary handful of dust, -frightened me by the loud noise they made. On the way home to the house -of my brother-in-law, Hermann Brockhaus, where the whole family were to -gather together for an hour, Laube, of whom my mother had been very -fond, was my only companion. He expressed his anxiety at my unusually -exhausted appearance, and when he afterwards accompanied me to the -station, we discussed the unbearable burden which seemed to us to lie -like a dead weight on every noble effort made to resist the tendency of -the time to sink into utter worthlessness. On my return to Dresden the -realisation of my complete loneliness came over me for the first time -with full consciousness, as I could not help knowing that with the loss -of my mother every natural bond of union was loosened with my brothers -and sisters, each of whom was taken up with his or her own family -affairs. So I plunged dully and coldly into the only thing which could -cheer and warm me, the working out of my Lohengrin and my studies of -German antiquity. - -Thus dawned the last days of February, which were to plunge Europe once -more into revolution. I was among those who least expected a probable -or even possible overthrow of the political world. My first knowledge -of such things had been gained in my youth at the time of the July -Revolution, and the long and peaceful reaction that followed it. Since -then I had become acquainted with Paris, and from all the signs of -public life which I saw there, I thought all that had occurred had been -merely the preliminaries of a great revolutionary movement. I had been -present at the erection of the forts detaches around Paris, which Louis -Philippe had carried out, and been instructed about the strategic value -of the various fixed sentries scattered about Paris, and I agreed with -those who considered that everything was ready to make even an attempt -at a rising on the part of the populace of Paris quite impossible. -When, therefore, the Swiss War of Separation at the end of the previous -year, and the successful Sicilian Revolution at the beginning of the -New Year, turned all men's eyes in great excitement to watch the effect -of these risings on Paris, I did not take the slightest interest in the -hopes and fears which were aroused. News of the growing restlessness in -the French capital did indeed reach us, but I disputed Rockel's belief -that any significance could be attached to it. I was sitting in the -conductor's desk at a rehearsal of Martha when, during an interval, -Rockel, with the peculiar joy of being in the right, brought me the -news of Louis Philippe's flight, and the proclamation of the Republic -in Paris. This made a strange and almost astonishing impression on me, -although at the same time the doubt as to the true significance of -these events made it possible for me to smile to myself. I too caught -the fever of excitement which had spread everywhere. The German March -days were coming, and from all directions ever more alarming news kept -coming in. Even within the narrow confines of my native Saxony serious -petitions were framed, which the King withstood for a long time; even -he was deceived, in a way which he was soon to acknowledge, as to the -meaning of this commotion and the temper that prevailed in the country. - -On the evening of one of these really anxious days, when the very air -was heavy and full of thunder, we gave our third great orchestral -concert, at which the King and his court were present, as on the two -previous occasions. For the opening of this one I had chosen -Mendelssohn's Symphony in A minor, which I had played on the occasion -of his funeral. The mood of this piece, which even in the would-be -joyful phrases is always tenderly melancholy, corresponded strangely -with the anxiety and depression of the whole audience, which was more -particularly accentuated in the demeanour of the royal family. I did -not conceal from Lipinsky, the leader of the orchestra, my regret at -the mistake I had made in the arrangement of that day's programme, as -Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, also in a minor key, was to follow this -minor symphony. With a merry twinkle in his eyes the eccentric Pole -comforted me by exclaiming: 'Oh, let us play only the first two -movements of the Symphony in C minor, then no one will know whether we -have played Mendelssohn in the major or the minor key.' Fortunately -before these two movements began, to our great surprise, a loud shout -was raised by some patriotic spirit in the middle of the audience, who -called out 'Long live the King!' and the cry was promptly repeated with -unusual enthusiasm and energy on all sides. Lipinsky was perfectly -right: the symphony, with the passionate and stormy excitement of the -first theme, swelled out like a hurricane of rejoicing, and had seldom -produced such an effect on the audience as on that night. This was the -last of the newly inaugurated concerts that I ever conducted in Dresden. - -Shortly after this the inevitable political changes took place. The -King dismissed his ministry and elected a new one, consisting partly of -Liberals and partly even of really enthusiastic Democrats, who at once -proclaimed the well-known regulations, which are the same all over the -world, for founding a thoroughly democratic constitution. I was really -touched by this result, and by the heartfelt joy which was evident -among the whole population, and I would have given much to have been -able to gain access to the King, and convince myself of his hearty -confidence in the people's love for him, which seemed to me so -desirable a consummation. In the evening the town was gaily -illuminated, and the King drove through the streets in an open -carriage. In the greatest excitement I went out among the dense crowds -and followed his movements, often running where I thought it likely -that a particularly hearty shout might rejoice and reconcile the -monarch's heart. My wife was quite frightened when she saw me come back -late at night, tired out and very hoarse from shouting. - -The events which took place in Vienna and Berlin, with their apparently -momentous results, only moved me as interesting newspaper reports, and -the meeting of a Frankfort parliament in the place of the dissolved -Bundestag sounded strangely pleasant in my ears. Yet all these -significant occurrences could not tear me for a single day from my -regular hours of work. With immense, almost overweening satisfaction, I -finished, in the last days of this eventful and historic month of -March, the score of Lohengrin with the orchestration of the music up to -the vanishing of the Knight of the Holy Grail into the remote and -mystic distance. - -About this time a young Englishwomen, Madame Jessie Laussot, who had -married a Frenchman in Bordeaux, one day presented herself at my house -in the company of Karl Ritter, who was barely eighteen years of age. -This young man, who was born in Russia of German parents, was a member -of one of those northern families who had settled down permanently in -Dresden, on account of the pleasant artistic atmosphere of that place. -I remembered that I had seen him once before not long after the first -performance of Tannhauser, when he asked me for my autograph for a copy -of the score of that opera, which was on sale at the music-shop. I now -learned that this copy really belonged to Frau Laussot, who had been -present at those performances, and who was now introduced to me. -Overcome with shyness, the young lady expressed her admiration in a way -I had never experienced before, and at the same time told me how great -was her regret at being called away by family affairs from her -favourite home in Dresden with the Ritter family, who, she gave me to -understand, were deeply devoted to me. It was with a strange, and in -its way quite a new, sensation that I bade farewell to this young lady. -This was the first time since my meeting with Alwine Frommann and -Werder, when the Fliegender Hollander was produced, that I came across -this sympathetic tone, which seemed to come like an echo from some old -familiar past, but which I never heard close at hand. I invited young -Ritter to come and see me whenever he liked, and to accompany me -sometimes on my walks. His extraordinary shyness, however, seemed to -prevent him from doing this, and I only remember seeing him very -occasionally at my house. He used to turn up more often with Hans von -Bulow, whom he seemed to know pretty well, and who had already entered -the Leipzig University as a student of law. This well-informed and -talkative young man showed his warm and hearty devotion to me more -openly, and I felt bound to reciprocate his affection. He was the first -person who made me realise the genuine character of the new political -enthusiasm. On his hat, as well as on his father's, the black, red, and -gold cockade was paraded before my eyes. - -Now that I had finished my Lohengrin, and had leisure to study the -course of events, I could no longer help myself sympathising with the -ferment aroused by the birth of German ideals and the hopes attached to -their realisation. My old friend Franck had already imbued me with a -fairly sound political judgment, and, like many others, I had grave -doubts as to whether the German parliament now assembling would serve -any useful purpose. Nevertheless, the temper of the populace, of which -there could be no question, although it might not have been given very -obvious expression, and the belief, everywhere prevalent, that it was -impossible to return to the old conditions, could not fail to exercise -its influence upon me. But I wanted actions instead of words, and -actions which would force our princes to break for ever with their old -traditions, which were so detrimental to the cause of the German -commonwealth. With this object I felt inspired to write a popular -appeal in verse, calling upon the German princes and peoples to -inaugurate a great crusade against Russia, as the country which had -been the prime instigator of that policy in Germany which had so -fatally separated the monarchs from their subjects. One of the verses -ran as follows:-- - -The old fight against the East Returns again to-day. The people's sword -must not rust Who freedom wish for aye. - -As I had no connection with political journals, and had learned by -chance that Berthold Auerbach was on the staff of a paper in Mannheim, -where the waves of revolution ran high, I sent him my poem with the -request to do whatever he thought best with it, and from that day to -this I have never heard or seen anything of it. - -Whilst the Frankfort Parliament continued to sit on from day to day, -and it seemed idle to conjecture whither this big talk by small men -would lead, I was much impressed by the news which reached us from -Vienna. In the May of this year an attempt at a reaction, such as had -succeeded in Naples and remained indecisive in Paris, had been -triumphantly nipped in the bud by the enthusiasm and energy of the -Viennese people under the leadership of the students' band, who had -acted with such unexpected firmness. I had arrived at the conclusion -that, in matters directly concerning the people, no reliance could be -placed on reason or wisdom, but only on sheer force supported by -fanaticism or absolute necessity; but the course of events in Vienna, -where I saw the youth of the educated classes working side by side with -the labouring man, filled me with peculiar enthusiasm, to which I gave -expression in another popular appeal in verse. This I sent to the -Oesterreichischen Zeitung, where it was printed in their columns with -my full signature. - -In Dresden two political unions had been formed, as a result of the -great changes that had taken place. The first was called the Deutscher -Verein (German Union), whose programme aimed at 'a constitutional -monarchy on the broadest democratic foundation.' The names of its -principal leaders, among which, in spite of its broad democratic -foundation, my friends Eduard Devrient and Professor Rietschel had the -courage openly to appear, guaranteed the safety of its objects. This -union, which tried to include every element that regarded a real -revolution with abhorrence, conjured into existence an opposition club -which called itself the Vaterlands-Verein (Patriotic Union). In this -the 'democratic foundation' seemed to be the chief basis, and the -'constitutional monarchy' only provided the necessary cloak. - -Rockel canvassed passionately for the latter, as he seemed to have lost -all confidence in the monarchy. The poor fellow was, indeed, in a very -bad way. He had long ago given up all hope of rising to any position in -the musical world; his directorship had become pure drudgery, and was, -unfortunately, so badly paid that he could not possibly keep himself -and his yearly increasing family on the income he derived from his -post. He always had an unconquerable aversion from teaching, which was -a fairly profitable employment in Dresden among the many wealthy -visitors. So he went on from bad to worse, running miserably into debt, -and for a long time saw no hope for his position as the father of a -family except in emigration to America, where he thought he could -secure a livelihood for himself and his dependants by manual labour, -and for his practical mind by working as a farmer, from which class he -had originally sprung. This, though tedious, would at least be certain. -On our walks he had of late been entertaining me almost exclusively -with ideas he had gleaned from reading books on farming, doctrines -which he applied with zeal to the improvement of his encumbered -position. This was the mood in which the Revolution of 1848 found him, -and he immediately went over to the extreme socialist side, which, -owing to the example set by Paris, threatened to become serious. Every -one who knew him was utterly taken aback at the apparently vital change -which had so suddenly taken place in him, when he declared that he had -at last found his real vocation--that of an agitator. - -His persuasive faculties, on which, however, he could not rely -sufficiently for platform purposes, developed in private intercourse -into stupefying energy. It was impossible to stop his flow of language -with any objection, and those he could not draw over to his cause he -cast aside for ever. In his enthusiasm about the problems which -occupied his mind day and night, he sharpened his intellect into a -weapon capable of demolishing every foolish objection, and suddenly -stood in our midst like a preacher in the wilderness. He was at home in -every department of knowledge. The Vaterlands-Verein had elected a -committee for carrying into execution a plan for arming the populace; -this included Rockel and other thoroughgoing democrats, and, in -addition, certain military experts, among whom was my old friend -Hermann Muller, the lieutenant of the Guards who had once been engaged -to Schroder-Devrient. He and another officer named Zichlinsky were the -only members of the Saxon army who joined the political movement. The -part I played in the meetings of this committee, as in everything else, -was dictated by artistic motives. As far as I can remember, the details -of this plan, which at last became a nuisance, afforded very sound -foundation for a genuine arming of the people, though it was impossible -to carry it out during the political crisis. - -My interest and enthusiasm about the social and political problems -which were occupying the whole world increased every day, until public -meetings and private intercourse, and the shallow platitudes which -formed the staple eloquence of the orators of the day, proved to me the -terrible shallowness of the whole movement. - -If only I could rest assured that, while such senseless confusion was -the order of the day, people well versed in these matters would -withhold from any demonstration (which to my great regret I observed in -Hermann Franck, and told him of, openly), then, on the contrary, I -should feel myself compelled, as soon as the opportunity arose, to -discuss the purport of such questions and problems according to my -judgment. Needless to say, the newspapers played an exciting and -prominent part on this occasion. Once, when I went incidentally (as I -might go to see a play) to a meeting of the Vaterlands-Verein, when -they were assembled in a public garden, they chose for the subject of -their discussion, 'Republic or Monarchy?' I was astonished to hear and -to read with what incredible triviality it was carried on, and how the -sum-total of their explanation was, that, to be sure, a republic is -best, but, at the worst, one could put up with a monarchy if it were -well conducted. As the result of many heated discussions on this point, -I was incited to lay bare my views on the subject in an article which I -published in the DRESDENER ANZEIGER, but which I did not sign. My -special aim was to turn the attention of the few who really took the -matter seriously, from the external form of the government to its -intrinsic value. When I had pursued and consistently discussed the -utmost idealistic conclusions of all that which, to my mind, was -necessary and inseparable from the perfect state and from social order, -I inquired whether it would not be possible to realise all this with a -king at the head, and entered so deeply into the matter as to portray -the king in such a fashion, that he seemed even more anxious than any -one else that his state should be organised on genuinely republican -lines, in order that he might attain to the fulfilment of his own -highest aims. I must own, however, that I felt bound to urge this king -to assume a much more familiar attitude towards his people than the -court atmosphere and the almost exclusive society of his nobles would -seem to render possible. Finally, I pointed to the King of Saxony as -being specially chosen by Fate to lead the way in the direction I had -indicated, and to give the example to all the other German princes. -Rockel considered this article a true inspiration from the Angel of -Propitiation, but as he feared that it would not meet with proper -recognition and appreciation in the paper, he urged me to lecture on it -publicly at the next meeting of the Vaterlands-Verein for he attached -great importance to my discoursing on the subject personally. Quite -uncertain as to whether I could really persuade myself to do this, I -attended the meeting, and there, owing to the intolerable balderdash -uttered by a certain barrister named Blode and a master-furrier Klette, -whom at that time Dresden venerated as a Demosthenes and a Cleon, I -passionately decided to appear at this extraordinary tribunal with my -paper, and to give a very spirited reading of it to about three -thousand persons. - -The success I had was simply appalling. The astounded audience seemed -to remember nothing of the speech of the Orchestral Conductor Royal -save the incidental attack I had made upon the court sycophants. The -news of this incredible event spread like wildfire. The next day I -rehearsed Rienzi, which was to be performed the following evening. I -was congratulated on all sides upon my self-sacrificing audacity. On -the day of the performance, however, I was informed by Eisolt, the -attendant of the orchestra, that the plans had been changed, and he -gave me to understand that thereby there hung a tale. True enough, the -terrible sensation I had made became so great, that the directors -feared the most unheard-of demonstrations at any performance of Rienzi. -Then a perfect storm of derision and vituperation broke loose in the -press, and I was besieged on all sides to such an extent that it was -useless to think of self-defence. I had even offended the Communal -Guard of Saxony, and was challenged by the commander to make a full -apology. But the most inexorable enemies I made were the court -officials, especially those holding a minor office, and to this day I -still continue to be persecuted by them. I learned that, as far as it -lay in their power, they incessantly besought the King, and finally the -director, to deprive me at once of my office. On account of this I -thought it necessary to write to the monarch personally, in order to -explain to him that my action was to be regarded more in the light of a -thoughtless indiscretion than as a culpable offence. I sent this letter -to Herr von Luttichau, begging him to deliver it to the King, and to -arrange at the same time a short leave for me, so that the provoking -disturbance should have a chance of dying down during my absence from -Dresden. The striking kindness and goodwill which Herr von Luttichau -showed me on this occasion made no little impression upon me, and this -I took no pains to conceal from him. As in the course of time, however, -his ill-controlled rage at various things, and especially at a good -deal that he had misunderstood in my pamphlet, broke loose, I learned -that it was not from any humane motives that he had spoken in such a -propitiatory manner to me, but rather by desire of the King himself. On -this point I received most accurate information, and heard that when -everybody, and even von Luttichau himself, were besieging the King to -visit me with punishment, the King had forbidden any further talk on -the subject. After this very encouraging experience, I flattered myself -that the King had understood not only my letter, but also my pamphlet, -better than many others. - -In order to change my mind a little, I determined for the present (it -was the beginning of July) to take advantage of the short period of -leave granted to me, by going to Vienna. I travelled by way of Breslau, -where I looked up an old friend of my family, the musical director -Mosewius, at whose house I spent an evening. We had a most lively -conversation, but, unfortunately, were unable to steer clear of the -stirring political questions of the day. What interested me most was -his exceptionally large, or even, if I remember rightly, complete -collection of Sebastian Bach's cantatas in most excellent copies. -Besides this, he related, with a humour quite his own, several amusing -musical anecdotes which were a pleasant memory for many a year. When -Mosewius returned my visit in the course of the summer at Dresden, I -played a part of the first act of Lohengrin on the piano for him, and -the expression of his genuine astonishment at this conception was very -gratifying to me. In later years, however, I found that he had spoken -somewhat scoffingly about me; but I did not stop to reflect as to the -truth of this information, or as to the real character of the man, for -little by little I had had to accustom myself to the most inconceivable -things. At Vienna the first thing I did was to call on Professor -Fischhof, as I knew that he had in his keeping important manuscripts, -chiefly by Beethoven, among which the original of the C minor Sonata, -opus 111, I was particularly curious to see. Through this new friend, -whom I found somewhat dry, I made the acquaintance of Herr Vesque von -Puttlingen, who, as the composer of a most insignificant opera (Joan of -Arc), which had been performed in Dresden, had with cautious good taste -adopted only the last two syllables of Beethoven's name--Haven. One day -we were at his house to dinner, and I then recognised in him a former -confidential official of Prince Metternich, who now, with his ribbon of -black, red, and gold, followed the current of the age, apparently quite -convinced. I made another interesting acquaintance in the person of -Herr von Fonton, the Russian state councillor, and attache at the -Russian Embassy in Vienna. I frequently met this man, both at -Fischhof's house and on excursions into the surrounding country; and it -was interesting to me for the first time to run up against a man who -could so strongly profess his faith in the pessimistic standpoint, that -a consistent despotism guarantees the only order of things which can be -tolerated. Not without interest, and certainly not without -intelligence--for he boasted of having been educated at the most -enlightened schools in Switzerland--he listened to my enthusiastic -narration of the art ideal which I had in my mind, and which was -destined to exercise a great and decided influence upon the human race. -As he had to allow that the realisation of this ideal could not be -effected through the strength of despotism, and as he was unable to -foresee any rewards for my exertions, by the time we came to the -champagne he thawed to such a degree of affable good-nature as to wish -me every success. I learned later on that this man, of whose talent and -energetic character I had at the time no small opinion, was last heard -of as being in great distress. - -Now, as I never undertook anything whatever without some serious object -in view, I had made up my mind to avail myself of this visit to Vienna, -in order to try in some practical manner to promote my ideas for the -reform of the theatre. Vienna seemed to me specially suitable for this -purpose, as at that, time it had five theatres, all totally different -in character, which were dragging on a miserable existence. I quickly -worked out a plan, according to which these various theatres might be -formed into a sort of co-operative organisation, and placed under one -administration composed not only of active members, but also of all -those having any literary connection with the theatre. With a view to -submitting my plan to them, I then made inquiries about persons with -such capacities as seemed most likely to answer my requirements. -Besides Herr Friedrich Uhl, whom I had got to know at the very -beginning through Fischer, and who did me very good service, I was told -of a Herr Franck (the same, I presume, who later on published a big -epic work called Tannhauser), and a Dr. Pacher, an agent of -Meyerbeer's, and a pettifogger of whose acquaintance later on I was to -have no reason to be proud. The most sympathetic, and certainly the -most important, of those chosen by me for the conference meeting at -Fischhof's house, was undoubtedly Dr. Becher, a passionate and -exceedingly cultivated man. He was the only one present who seriously -followed the reading of my plan, although, of course, he by no means -agreed with everything. I observed in him a certain wildness and -vehemence, the impression of which returned to me very vividly some -months later, when I heard of his being shot as a rebel who had -participated in the October Insurrection at Vienna. For the present, -then, I had to satisfy myself with having read the plan of my theatre -reform to a few attentive listeners. All seemed to be convinced that -the time was not opportune for putting forward such peaceable schemes -of reform. On the other hand, Uhl thought it right to give me an idea -of what was at present all the rage in Vienna, by taking me one evening -to a political club of the most advanced tendencies. There I heard a -speech by Herr Sigismund Englander, who shortly afterwards attracted -much attention in the political monthly papers; the unblushing audacity -with which he and others expressed themselves that evening with regard -to the most dreaded persons in public power astounded me almost as much -as the poverty of the political views expressed on that occasion. By -way of contrast I received a very nice impression of Herr Grillparzer, -the poet, whose name was like a fable to me, associated as it was, from -my earliest days, with his Ahnfrau. I approached him also with respect -to the matter of my theatre reform. He seemed quite disposed to listen -in a friendly manner to what I had to say to him; he did not, however, -attempt to conceal his surprise at my direct appeals and the personal -demands I made of him. He was the first playwright I had ever seen in -an official uniform. - -After I had paid an unsuccessful visit to Herr Bauernfeld, relative to -the same business, I concluded that Vienna was of no more use for the -present, and gave myself up to the exceptionally stimulating -impressions produced by the public life of the motley crowd, which of -late had undergone such marked changes. If the student band, which was -always represented in great numbers in the streets, had already amused -me with the extraordinary constancy with which its members sported the -German colours, I was very highly diverted by the effect produced when -at the theatres I saw even the ices served by attendants in the black, -red, and gold of Austria. At the Karl Theatre, in the Leopold quarter -of the town, I saw a new farce, by Nestroy, which actually introduced -the character of Prince Metternich, and in which this statesman, on -being asked whether he had poisoned the Duke of Reichstadt, had to make -his escape behind the wings as an unmasked sinner. On the whole, the -appearance of this imperial city--usually so fond of -pleasure--impressed one with a feeling of youthful and powerful -confidence. And this impression was revived in me when I heard of the -energetic participation of the youthful members of the population, -during those fateful October days, in the defence of Vienna against the -troops of Prince Windischgratz. - -On the homeward journey I touched at Prague, where I found my old -friend Kittl (who had grown very much more corpulent) still in the most -terrible fright about the riotous events which had taken place there. -He seemed to be of opinion that the revolt of the Tschech party against -the Austrian Government was directed at him personally, and he thought -fit to reproach himself with the terrible agitation of the time, which -he believed he had specially inflamed by his composition of my operatic -text of Die Franzosen vor Nizza, out of which a kind of revolutionary -air seemed to have become very popular. To my great pleasure, on my -homeward journey I had the company of Hanel the sculptor, whom I met on -the steamer. There travelled with us also a Count Albert Nostitz, with -whom he had just settled up his business concerning the statue of the -Emperor Charles IV., and he was in the gayest mood, as the extremely -insecure state of Austrian paper money had led to his being paid at a -great profit to himself, in silver coin in accordance with his -agreement. I was very pleased to find that, thanks to this -circumstance, he was in such a confident mood, and so free from -prejudice, that on, arriving at Dresden he accompanied me the whole -way--a very long distance--from the landing-stage at which we had left -the steamer to my house, in an open carriage; and this despite the fact -that he very well knew that, only a few weeks before, I had caused a -really terrible stir in this very city. - -As far as the public were concerned, the storm seemed quite to have -died down, and I was able to resume my usual occupations and mode of -life without any further trouble. I am sorry to say, however, that my -old worries and anxieties started afresh; I stood in great need of -money, and had not the vaguest notion whither to go in search of it. I -then examined very thoroughly the answer I had received during the -preceding winter to my petition for a higher salary. I had left it -unread, as the modifications made in it had already disgusted me. If I -had till now believed that it was Herr von Luttichau who had brought -about the increase of salary I had demanded, in the shape of a -supplement which I was to receive annually--in itself a humiliating -thing--I now saw to my horror that all the time there had been no -mention save of one single supplement, and that there was nothing to -show that this should be repeated annually. On learning this, I saw -that I should now be at the hopeless disadvantage of coming too late -with a remonstrance if I should attempt to make one; so there was -nothing left for me but to submit to an insult which, under the -circumstances, was quite unprecedented. My feelings towards Herr von -Luttichau, which shortly before had been rather warm owing to his -supposed kind attitude towards me during the last disturbance, now -underwent a serious change, and I soon had a new reason (actually -connected with the above-mentioned affair) for altering my favourable -opinion of him, and for turning finally against him for good and all. -He had informed me that the members of the Imperial Orchestra had sent -him a deputation demanding my instant dismissal, as they thought that -it affected their honour to be any longer under a conductor who had -compromised himself politically to the extent which I had. He also -informed me that he had not only reprimanded them very severely, but -that he had also been at great pains to pacify them concerning me. All -this, which Luttichau had put in a highly favourable light, had -latterly made me feel very friendly towards him. Then, however, as the -result of inquiries into the matter, I heard accidentally through -members of the orchestra that the facts of the case were almost exactly -the reverse. What had happened was this, that the members of the -Imperial Orchestra had been approached on all sides by the officials of -the court, and had been not only earnestly requested to do what -Luttichau had declared they had done of their own accord, but also -threatened with the displeasure of the King, and of incurring the -strongest suspicion if they refused to comply. In order to protect -themselves against this intrigue, and to avoid all evil consequences -should they not take the required step, the musicians had turned to -their principal, and had sent him a deputation, through which they -declared that, as a corporation of artists, they did not in the least -feel called upon to mix themselves up in a matter that did not concern -them. Thus the halo with which my former attachment to Herr von -Luttichau had surrounded him at last disappeared for good and all, and -it was chiefly my shame at having been so very much upset by his false -conduct that now inspired me for ever with such bitter feelings for -this man. What determined this feeling even more than the insults I had -suffered, was the recognition of the fact that I was now utterly -incapable of ever being able to enlist his influence in the cause of -theatrical reform, which was so dear to me. It was natural that I -should learn to attach ever less and less importance to the mere -retention of the post of orchestral conductor on so extraordinarily -inadequate and reduced a salary; and in keeping to this office, I -merely bowed to what was an inevitable though purely accidental -circumstance of a wretched fate. I did nothing to make the post more -intolerable, but, at the same time, I moved not a finger to ensure its -permanence. - -The very next thing I must do was to attempt to establish my hopes of a -larger income, so sadly doomed hitherto, upon a very much sounder -basis. In this respect it occurred to me that I might consult my friend -Liszt, and beg him to suggest a remedy for my grievous position. And lo -and behold, shortly after those fateful March days, and not long before -the completion of my Lohengrin score, to my very great delight and -astonishment, the very man I wanted walked into my room. He had come -from Vienna, where he had lived through the 'Barricade Days,' and he -was going on to Weimar, where he intended to settle permanently. We -spent an evening together at Schumann's, had a little music, and -finally began a discussion on Mendelssohn and Meyerbeer, in which Liszt -and Schumann differed so fundamentally that the latter, completely -losing his temper, retired in a fury to his bedroom for quite a long -time. This incident did indeed place us in a somewhat awkward position -towards our host, but it furnished us with a most amusing topic of -conversation on the way home, I have seldom seen Liszt so extravagantly -cheerful as on that night, when, in spite of the cold and the fact that -he was clad only in ordinary evening-dress, he accompanied first the -music director Schubert, and then myself, to our respective homes. -Subsequently I took advantage of a few days' holiday in August to make -an excursion to Weimar, where I found Liszt permanently installed and, -as is well known, enjoying a life of most intimate intercourse with the -Grand Duke. Even though he was unable to help me in my affairs, except -by giving me a recommendation which finally proved useless, his -reception of me on this short visit was so hearty and so exceedingly -stimulating, that it left me profoundly cheered and encouraged. On -returning to Dresden I tried as far as possible to curtail my expenses -and to live within my means; and, as every means of assistance failed -me, I resorted to the expedient of sending out a circular letter -addressed jointly to my remaining creditors, all of whom were really -friends; and in this I told them frankly of my situation, and enjoined -them to relinquish their demands for an indefinite time, till my -affairs took a turn for the better, as without this I should certainly -never be in a position to satisfy them. By this means they would, at -all events, be in a position to oppose my general manager, whom I had -every reason to suspect of evil designs, and who would have been only -too glad to seize any signs of hostility towards me, on the part of my -creditors, as a pretext for taking the worst steps against me. The -assurance I required was given me unhesitatingly; my friend Pusinelli, -and Frau Klepperbein (an old friend of my mother's), even going so far -as to declare that they were prepared to give up all claim to the money -they had lent me. Thus, in some measure reassured, and with my position -relative to Luttichau so far improved that I could consult my own -wishes as to whether and when I should give up my post entirely, I now -continued to fulfil my duties as a conductor as patiently and -conscientiously as I was able, while with great zeal I also resumed my -studies, which were carrying me ever further and further afield. - -Thus settled, I now began to watch the wonderful developments in the -fate of my friend Rockel. As every day brought fresh rumours of -threatened reactionary coups d'etat and similar violent outbreaks, -which Rockel thought it right to prevent, he drew up an appeal to the -soldiers of the army of Saxony, in which he explained every detail of -the cause for which he stood, and which he then had printed and -distributed broadcast. This was too flagrant a misdeed for the public -prosecutors: he was therefore immediately placed under arrest, and had -to remain three days in gaol while an action for high treason was -lodged against him. He was only released when the solicitor Minkwitz -stood bail for the requisite three thousand marks (equal to L150). This -return home to his anxious wife and children was celebrated by a little -public festival, which the committee of the Vaterlands-Verein had -arranged in his honour, and the liberated man was greeted as the -champion of the people's cause. On the other hand, however, the general -management of the court theatre, who had before suspended him -temporarily, now gave him his final dismissal. Rockel let a full beard -grow, and began the publication of a popular journal called the -Volksblatt, of which he was sole editor. He must have counted on its -success to compensate him for the loss of his salary as musical -director, for he at once hired an office in the Brudergasse for his -undertaking. This paper succeeded in attracting the attention of a -great many people to its editor, and showed up his talents in quite a -new light, he never got involved in his style or indulged in any -elaboration of words, but confined himself to matters of immediate -importance and general interest; it was only after having discussed -them in a calm and sober fashion, that he led up from them to further -deductions of still greater interest connected with them. The -individual articles were short, and never contained anything -superfluous, in addition to which they were so clearly written, that -they made an instructive and convincing appeal to the most uneducated -mind. By always going to the root of things, instead of indulging in -circumlocutions which, in politics, have caused such great confusion in -the minds of the uneducated masses, he soon had a large circle of -readers, both among cultivated and uncultivated people. The only -drawback was that the price of the little weekly paper was too small to -yield him a corresponding profit. Moreover, it was necessary to warn -him that if the reactionary party should ever come into power again, it -could never possibly forgive him for this newspaper. His younger -brother, Edward, who was paying a visit at the time in Dresden, -declared himself willing to accept a post as piano-teacher in England, -which, though most uncongenial to him, would be lucrative and place him -in a position to help Rockel's family, if, as seemed probable, he met -his reward in prison or on the gallows. Owing to his connection with -various societies, his time was so much taken up that my intercourse -with him was limited to walks, which became more and more rare. On -these occasions I often got lost in the most wildly speculative and -profound discussions, while this wonderfully exciteable man always -remained calmly reflective and clear-headed. First and foremost, he had -planned a drastic social reform of the middle classes--as at present -constituted--by aiming at a complete alteration of the basis of their -condition. He constructed a totally new moral order of things, founded -on the teaching of Proudhon and other socialists regarding the -annihilation of the power of capital, by immediately productive labour, -dispensing with the middleman. Little by little he converted me, by -most seductive arguments, to his own views, to such an extent that I -began to rebuild my hopes for the realisation of my ideal in art upon -them. Thus there were two questions which concerned me very nearly: he -wished to abolish matrimony, in the usual acceptation of the word, -altogether. I thereupon asked him what he thought the result would be -of promiscuous intercourse with women of a doubtful character. With -amiable indignation he gave me to understand that we could have no idea -about the purity of morals in general, and of the relations of the -sexes in particular, so long as we were unable to free people -completely from the yoke of the trades, guilds, and similar coercive -institutions. He asked me to consider what the only motive would be -which would induce a woman to surrender herself to a man, when not only -the considerations of money, fortune, position, and family prejudices, -but also the various influences necessarily arising from these, had -disappeared. When I, in my turn, asked him whence he would obtain -persons of great intellect and of artistic ability, if everybody were -to be merged in the working classes, he met my objection by replying, -that owing to the very fact that everybody would participate in the -necessary labour according to his strength and capacity, work would -cease to be a burden, and would become simply an occupation which would -finally assume an entirely artistic character. He demonstrated this on -the principle that, as had already been proved, a field, worked -laboriously by a single peasant, was infinitely less productive than -when cultivated by several persons in a scientific way. These and -similar suggestions, which Rockel communicated to me with a really -delightful enthusiasm, led me to further reflections, and gave birth to -new plans upon which, to my mind, a possible organisation of the human -race, which would correspond to my highest ideals in art, could alone -be based. In reference to this, I immediately turned my thoughts to -what was close at hand, and directed my attention to the theatre. The -motive for this came not only from my own feelings, but also from -external circumstances. In accordance with the latest democratic -suffrage laws, a general election seemed imminent in Saxony; the -election of extreme radicals, which had now taken place nearly -everywhere else, showed us that if the movement lasted, there would be -the most extraordinary changes even in the administration of the -revenue. Apparently a general resolution had been passed to subject the -Civil List to a strict revision; all that was deemed superfluous in the -royal household was to be done away with; the theatre, as an -unnecessary place of entertainment for a depraved portion of the -public, was threatened with the withdrawal of the subsidy granted it -from the Civil List. I now resolved, in view of the importance which I -attached to the theatre, to suggest to the ministers that they should -inform the members of parliament, that if the theatre in its present -condition were not worth any sacrifice from the state, it would sink to -still more doubtful tendencies--and might even become dangerous to -public morals--if deprived of that state control which had for its aim -the ideal, and, at the same time, felt itself called upon to place -culture and education under its beneficial protection. It was of the -highest importance to me to secure an organisation of the theatre, -which would make the carrying out its loftiest ideals not only a -possibility but also a certainty. Accordingly I drew up a project by -which the same sum as that which was allotted from the Civil List for -the support of a court theatre should be employed for the foundation -and upkeep of a national theatre for the kingdom of Saxony. In showing -the practical nature of the well-planned particulars of my scheme, I -defined them with such great precision, that I felt assured my work -would serve as a useful guide to the ministers as to how they should -put this matter before parliament. The point now was to have a personal -interview with one of the ministers, and it occurred to me that the -best man to apply to in the matter would be Herr von der Pfordten, the -Minister of Education. Although he already enjoyed the reputation of -being a turncoat in politics, and was said to be struggling to efface -the origin of his political promotion, which had taken place at a time -of great agitation, the mere fact of his having formerly been a -professor was sufficient to make me suppose that he was a man with whom -I could discuss the question that I had so much at heart. I learned, -however, that the real art institutions of the kingdom, such, for -instance, as the Academy of Fine Arts, to whose number I so ardently -desired to see the theatre added, belonged to the department of the -Minister of the Interior. To this man--the worthy though not highly -cultivated or artistic Herr Oberlander--I submitted my plans, not, -however, without having first made myself known to Herr von der -Pfordten, in order, for the reasons above stated, to command my project -to him. This man, who apparently was very busy, received me in a polite -and reassuring manner; but his whole bearing, indeed the very -expression of his face, seemed to destroy all hopes I might ever have -cherished of finding in him that understanding which I had expected. -The minister Oberlander, on the other hand, earned my confidence by the -straightforward earnestness with which he promised a thorough inquiry -into the matter. Unfortunately, however, at the same time, he informed -me with the most simple frankness, that he could entertain but very -little hope of getting the King's authorisation for any unusual -treatment of a question hitherto given over to routine. It must be -understood that the relations of the King to his ministers were both -strained and unconfidential, and that this was more especially so in -the case of Oberlander, who never approached the monarch on any other -business than that which the strictest discharge of his current duties -rendered indispensable. He therefore thought it would be better if my -plan could be brought forward, in the first place, by the Chamber of -Deputies. As, in the event of the new Civil List being discussed, I was -particularly anxious to avoid the question of the continuation of the -court theatre being treated in the ignorant and shortsighted radical -fashion, which was to be feared above all, I did not despair of making -the acquaintance of some of the most influential among the new members -of parliament. In this wise I found myself suddenly plunged into quite -a new and strange world, and became acquainted with persons and -opinions, the very existence of which until then I had not even -suspected. I found it somewhat trying always to be obliged to meet -these gentlemen at their beer and shrouded in the dense clouds of their -tobacco smoke, and to have to discuss with them matters which, though -very dear to me, must have seemed a little fantastic to their mind. -After a certain Herr von Trutschler, a very handsome, energetic man, -whose seriousness was almost gloomy, had listened to me calmly for some -time, and had told me that he no longer knew anything about the state, -but only about society, and that the latter would know, without either -his or my aid, how it should act in regard to art and to the theatre, I -was filled with such extraordinary feelings, half mingled with shame, -that there and then I gave up, not only all my exertions, but all my -hopes as well. The only reminder I ever had of the whole affair came -some while, after when, on meeting Herr von Luttichau, I quickly -gathered from his attitude to me that he had got wind of the episode, -and that it only inspired him with fresh hostility towards me. - -During my walks, which I now took absolutely alone, I thought ever more -deeply--and much to the relief of my mind--over my ideas concerning -that state of human society for which the boldest hopes and efforts of -the socialists and communists, then busily engaged in constructing -their system, offered me but the roughest foundation. These efforts -could begin to have some meaning and value for me only when they had -attained to that political revolution and reconstruction which they -aimed at; for it was only then that I, in my turn, could start my -reforms in art. - -At the same time my thoughts were busy with a drama, in which the -Emperor Frederick I. (surnamed 'Barbarossa') was to be the hero. In it -the model ruler was portrayed in a manner which lent him the greatest -and most powerful significance. His dignified resignation at the -impossibility of making his ideals prevail was intended not only to -present a true transcript of the arbitrary multifariousness of the -things of this world, but also to arouse sympathy for the hero. I -wished to carry out this drama in popular rhyme, and in the style of -the German used by our epic poets of the Middle Ages, and in this -respect the poem Alexander, by the priest Lambert, struck me as a good -example; but I never got further with this play than to sketch its -outline in the broadest manner possible. The five acts were planned in -the following manner: Act i. Imperial Diet in the Roncaglian fields, a -demonstration of the significance of imperial power which should extend -even to the investiture of water and air; Act ii. the siege and capture -of Milan; Act iii. revolt of Henry the Lion and his overthrow at -Ligano; Act iv. Imperial Diet in Augsburg, the humiliation and -punishment of Henry the Lion; Act v. Imperial Diet and grand court -assembly at Mainz; peace with the Lombards, reconciliation with the -Pope, acceptance of the Cross, and the departure for the East. I lost -all interest, however, in the carrying out of this dramatic scheme -directly I discovered its resemblance to the subject-matter of the -Nibelungen and Siegfried myths, which possessed a more powerful -attraction for me. The points of similarity which I recognised between -the history and the legend in question then induced me to write a -treatise on the subject; and in this I was assisted by some stimulating -monographs (found in the royal library), written by authors whose names -have now escaped my memory, but which taught me in a very attractive -manner a considerable amount about the old original kingdom of Germany. -Later on I published this fairly extensive essay with the title of Die -Nibelungen, but in working it out I finally lost all inclination to -elaborate the historical material for a real drama. - -In direct connection with this I began to sketch a clear summary of the -form which the old original Nibelungen myth had assumed in my mind in -its immediate association with the mythological legend of the gods--a -form which, though full of detail, was yet much condensed in its -leading features. Thanks to this work, I was able to convert the chief -part of the material itself into a musical drama. It was only by -degrees, however, and after long hesitation that I dared to enter more -deeply into my plans for this work; for the thought of the practical -realisation of such a work on our stage literally appalled me. I must -confess that it required all the despair which I then felt of ever -having the chance of doing anything more for our theatre, to give me -the necessary courage to begin upon this new work. Until that time I -simply allowed myself to drift, while I meditated listlessly upon the -possibility of things pursuing their course further under the existing -circumstances. In regard to Lohengrin, I had got to that point when I -hoped for nothing more than the best possible production of it at the -Dresden theatre, and felt that I should have to be satisfied in all -respects, and for all time, if I were able to achieve even that. I had -duly announced the completion of the score to Herr von Luttichau; but, -in consideration of the unfavourable nature of my circumstances at the -time, I had left it entirely to him to decide when my work should be -produced. - -Meanwhile the time arrived when the keeper of the Archives of the Royal -Orchestra called to mind that it was just three hundred years since -this royal institution had been founded, and that a jubilee would -therefore have to be celebrated. To this end a great concert festival -was planned, the programme of which was to be made up of the -compositions of all the Saxon orchestral conductors that had lived -since the institution had been founded. The whole body of musicians, -with both their conductors at their head, were first to present their -grateful homage to the King in Pillnitz; and on this occasion a -musician was, for the first time, to be elevated to the rank of Knight -of the Civil Order of Merit of Saxony. This musician was my colleague -Reissiger. Until then he had been treated by the court, and by the -manager himself, in the most scornful manner possible, but had, owing -to his conspicuous loyalty at this critical time, especially to me, -found exceptional favour in the eyes of our committees. When he -appeared before the public decorated with the wonderful order, he was -greeted with great jubilation by the loyal audience that filled the -theatre on the evening of the festival concert. His overture to Yelva -was also received with a perfect uproar of enthusiastic applause, such -as had never fallen to his lot; whereas the finale of the first act -from Lohengrin, which was produced as the work of the youngest -conductor, was accorded only an indifferent reception. This was all the -more strange as I was quite unaccustomed to such coolness in regard to -my work on the part of the Dresden public. Following upon the concert, -there was a festive supper, and when this was over, as all kinds of -speeches were being made, I freely proclaimed to the orchestra, in a -loud and decided tone, my views as to what was desirable for their -perfection in the future. Hereupon Marschner, who, as a former musical -conductor in Dresden, had been invited to the jubilee celebrations, -expressed the opinion that I should do myself a great deal of harm by -holding too good an opinion of the musicians. He said I ought just to -consider how uncultivated these people were with whom I had to deal; he -pointed out that they were trained simply for the one instrument they -played; and asked me whether I did not think that by discoursing to -them on the aspirations of art I would produce not only confusion, but -even perhaps bad blood? Far more pleasant to me than these festivities -is the remembrance of the quiet memorial ceremony which united us on -the morning of the Jubilee Day, with the object of placing wreaths on -Weber's grave. As nobody could find a word to utter, and even Marschner -was able to give expression only to the very driest and most trivial of -speeches about the departed master, I felt it incumbent upon me to say -a few heartfelt words concerning the memorial ceremony for which we -were gathered together. This brief spell of artistic activity was -speedily broken by fresh excitements, which kept pouring in upon us -from the political world. The events of October in Vienna awakened our -liveliest sympathy, and our walls daily blazed with red and black -placards, with summonses to march on Vienna, with the curse of 'Red -Monarchy,' as opposed to the hated 'Red Republic,' and with other -equally startling matter. Except for those who were best informed as to -the course of events--and who certainly did not swarm in our -streets--these occurrences aroused great uneasiness everywhere. With -the entry of Windischgratz into Vienna, the acquittal of Frobel and the -execution of Blum, it seemed as though even Dresden were on the eve of -an explosion. A vast demonstration of mourning was organised for Blum, -with an endless procession through the streets. At the head marched the -ministry, among whom the people were particularly glad to see Herr von -der Pfordten taking a sympathetic share in the ceremony, as he had -already become an object of suspicion to them. From that day gloomy -forebodings of disaster grew ever more prevalent on every side. People -even went so far as to say, with little attempt at circumlocution, that -the execution of Blum had been an act of friendship on the part of the -Archduchess Sophia to her sister, the Queen of Saxony, for during his -agitation in Leipzig the man had made himself both hated and feared. -Troops of Viennese fugitives, disguised as members of the student -bands, began to arrive in Dresden, and made a formidable addition to -its population, which from this time forth paraded the streets with -ever-increasing confidence. One day, as I was on my way to the theatre -to conduct a performance of Rienzi, the choir-master informed me that -several foreign gentlemen had been asking for me. Thereupon half a -dozen persons presented themselves, greeted me as a brother democrat, -and begged me to procure them free entrance tickets. Among them I -recognised a former dabbler in literature, a man named Hafner, a little -hunchback, in a Calabrian hat cocked at a terrific angle, to whom I had -been introduced by Uhl on the occasion of my visit to the Vienna -political club. Great as was my embarrassment at this visit, which -evidently astonished our musicians, I felt in no wise compelled to make -any compromising admission, but quietly went to the booking-office, -took six tickets and handed them to my strange visitors, who parted -from me before all the world with much hearty shaking of hands. Whether -this evening call improved my position as musical conductor in Dresden -in the minds of the theatrical officials and others, may well be -doubted; but, at all events, on no occasion was I so frantically called -for after every act as at this particular performance of Rienzi. - -Indeed, at this time I seemed to have won over to my side a party of -almost passionate adherents among the theatre-going public, in -opposition to the clique which had shown such marked coldness on the -occasion of the gala concert already mentioned. It mattered not whether -Tannhauser or Rienzi were being played, I was always greeted with -special applause; and although the political tendencies of this party -may have given our management some cause for alarm, yet it forced them -to regard me with a certain amount of awe. One day Luttichau proposed -to have my Lohengrin performed at an early date. I explained my reasons -for not having offered it to him before, but declared myself ready to -further his wishes, as I considered the opera company was now -sufficiently powerful. The son of my old friend, F. Heine, had just -returned from Paris, where he had been sent by the Dresden management -to study scene-painting under the artists Desplechin and Dieterle. By -way of testing his powers, with a view to an engagement at the Dresden -Royal Theatre, the task of preparing suitable scenery for this opera -was entrusted to him. He had already asked permission to do this for -Lohengrin at the instigation of Luttichau, who wished to call attention -to my latest work. Consequently, when I gave my consent, young Heine's -wish was granted. - -I regarded this turn of events with no little satisfaction, believing -that in the study of this particular work I should find a wholesome and -effective diversion from all the excitement and confusion of recent -events. My horror, therefore, was all the greater, when young Wilhelm -Heine one day came to my room with the news that the scenery for -Lohengrin had been suddenly countermanded, and instructions given him -to prepare for another opera. I did not make any remark, nor ask the -reason for this singular behaviour. The assurances which Luttichan -afterwards made to my wife--if they were really true--made me regret -having laid the chief blame for this mortification at his door, and -having thereby irrevocably alienated my sympathy from him. When she -asked him about this many years later, he assured her that he had found -the court vehemently hostile to me, and that his well-meant attempts to -produce my work had met with insuperable obstacles. - -However that may have been, the bitterness I now experienced wrought a -decisive effect upon my feelings. Not only did I relinquish all hope of -a reconciliation with the theatre authorities by a splendid production -of my Lohengrin, but I determined to turn my back for ever on the -theatre, and to make no further attempt to meddle with its concerns. By -this act I expressed not merely my utter indifference as to whether I -kept my position as musical conductor or no, but my artistic ambitions -also entirely cut me off from all possibility of ever cultivating -modern theatrical conditions again. - -I at once proceeded to execute my long-cherished plans for Siegfried's -Tod, which I had been half afraid of before. In this work I no longer -gave a thought to the Dresden or any other court theatre in the world; -my sole preoccupation was to produce something that should free me, -once and for all, from this irrational subservience. As I could get -nothing more from Rockel in this connection, I now corresponded -exclusively with Eduard Devrient on matters connected with the theatre -and dramatic art. When, on the completion of my poem, I read it to him, -he listened with amazement, and at once realised the fact that such a -production would be an absolute drug in the modern theatrical market, -and he naturally could not agree to let it remain so. On the other -hand, he tried so far to reconcile himself to my work as to try and -make it less startling and more adapted for actual production. He -proved the sincerity of his intentions by pointing out my error in -asking too much of the public, and requiring it to supply from its own -knowledge many things necessary for a right under-standing of my -subject-matter, at which I had only hinted in brief and scattered -suggestions. He showed me, for instance, that before Siegfried and -Brunhilda are displayed in a position of bitter hostility towards each -other, they ought first to have been presented in their true and calmer -relationship. I had, in fact, opened the poem of SIEGFRIED'S TOD with -those scenes which now form the first act of the GOTTERDAMMERUNG. The -details of Siegfried's relation to Brunhilda had been merely outlined -to the listeners in a lyrico-episodical dialogue between the hero's -wife, whom he had left behind in solitude, and a crowd of Valkyries -passing before her rock. To my great joy, Devrient's hint on this point -directed my thoughts to those scenes which I afterwards worked out in -the prologue of this drama. - -This and other matters of a similar nature brought me into intimate -contact with Eduard Devrient, and made our intercourse much more lively -and pleasant. He often invited a select circle of friends to attend -dramatic readings at his house in which I gladly took part, for I -found, to my surprise, that his gift for declamation, which quite -forsook him on the stage, here stood out in strong relief. It was, -moreover, a consolation to pour into a sympathetic ear my worries about -my growing unpopularity with the director. Devrient seemed particularly -anxious to prevent a definite breach; but of this there was little -hope. With the approach of winter the court had returned to town, and -once more frequented the theatre, and various signs of dissatisfaction -in high quarters with my behaviour as conductor began to be manifested. -On one occasion the Queen thought that I had conducted NORMA badly, and -on another that I 'had taken the time wrongly' in ROBERT THE DEVIL. As -Luettichau had to communicate these reprimands to me, it was natural -that our intercourse at such times should hardly be of a nature to -restore our mutual satisfaction with each other. - -Notwithstanding all this, it still seemed possible to prevent matters -from coming to a crisis, though everything continued in a state of -agitating uncertainty and fermentation. At all events the forces of -reaction, which were holding themselves in readiness on every side, -were not yet sufficiently certain that the hour of their triumph had -come as not to consider it advisable for the present, at least, to -avoid all provocation. Consequently our management did not meddle with -the musicians of the royal orchestra, who, in obedience to the spirit -of the times, had formed a union for debate and the protection of their -artistic and civic interests. In this matter one of our youngest -musicians, Theodor Uhlig, had been particularly active. He was a young -man, still in his early twenties, and was a violinist in the orchestra. -His face was strikingly mild, intelligent and noble, and he was -conspicuous among his fellows on account of his great seriousness and -his quiet but unusually firm character. He had particularly attracted -my notice on several occasions by his quick insight and extensive -knowledge of music. As I recognised in him a spirit keenly alert in -every direction, and unusually eager for culture, it was not long -before I chose him as my companion in my regular walks--a habit I still -continued to cultivate--and on which Roeckel had hitherto accompanied -me. He induced me to come to a meeting of this union of the orchestral -company, in order that I might form an opinion about it, and encourage -and support so praiseworthy a movement. On this occasion I communicated -to its members the contents of my memorandum to the director, which had -been rejected a year before, and in which I had made suggestions for -reforms in the band, and I also explained further intentions and plans -arising therefrom. At the same time I was obliged to confess that I had -lost all hope of carrying out any projects of the kind through the -general management, and must therefore recommend them to take the -initiative vigorously into their own hands. They acclaimed the idea -with enthusiastic approval. Although, as I have said before, Luettichau -left these musicians unmolested in their more or less democratic union, -yet he took care to be informed through spies of what took place at -their highly treasonable gatherings. His chief instrument was a bugler -named Lewy, who, much to the disgust of all his comrades in the -orchestra, was in particularly high favour with the director. He -consequently received precise, or rather exaggerated, accounts of my -appearance there, and thought it was now high time to let me once more -feel the weight of his authority. I was officially summoned to his -presence, and had to listen to a long and wrathful tirade which he had -been bottling up for some time about several matters. I also learned -that he knew all about the plan of theatre reform which I had laid -before the ministry. This knowledge he betrayed in a popular Dresden -phrase, which until then I had never heard; he knew very well, he said, -that in a memorandum respecting the theatre I had 'made him look -ridiculous' (ihm an den Laden gelegt). In answer to this I did not -refrain from telling him how I intended to act in retaliation, and when -he threatened to report me to the King and demand my dismissal, I -calmly replied that he might do as he pleased, as I was well assured -that I could rely on his Majesty's justice to hear, not only his -charges, but also my defence. Moreover, I added, this was the only -befitting manner for me to discuss with the King the many points on -which I had to complain, not only in my own interests, but also in -those of the theatre and of art. This was not pleasant hearing for -Luttichau, and he asked how it was possible for him to try and -co-operate with me, when I for my part had openly declared (to use his -own expression) that all labour was wasted upon him (Hopfen und Malz -verloren seien). We had at last to part with mutual shruggings of the -shoulder. My conduct seemed to trouble my former patron, and he -therefore enlisted the tact and moderation of Eduard Devrient in his -service, and asked him to use his influence with me to facilitate some -further arrangement between us. But, in spite of all his zeal, Devrient -had to admit with a smile, after we had discussed his message, that -nothing much could be done; and as I persisted in my refusal to meet -the director again in consultation respecting the service of the -theatre, he had at last to recognise that his own wisdom would have to -help him out of the difficulty. - -Throughout the whole period during which I was fated to fill the post -of conductor at Dresden, the effects of this dislike on the part of the -court and the director continued to make themselves felt in everything. -The orchestral concerts, which had been organised by me in the previous -winter, were this year placed under Reissiger's control, and at once -sank to the usual level of ordinary concerts. Public interest quickly -waned, and the undertaking could only with difficulty be kept alive. In -opera I was unable to carry out the proposed revival of the Fliegender -Hollander, for which I had found in Mitterwurzer's maturer talent an -admirable and promising exponent. My niece Johanna, whom I had destined -for the part of Senta, did not like the role, because it offered little -opportunity for splendid costumes. She preferred ZAMPA and FAVORITA, -partly to please her new protector, my erstwhile RIENZI enthusiast, -Tichatschck, partly for the sake of THREE BRILLIANT COSTUMES which the -management had to furnish for each of these parts. In fact, these two -ringleaders of the Dresden opera of that day had formed an alliance of -rebellion against my vigorous rule in the matter of operatic -repertoire. Their opposition, to my great discomfiture, was crowned by -success when they secured the production of this FAVORITA of -Donizetti's, the arrangement of which I had once been obliged to -undertake for Schlesinger in Paris. I had at first emphatically refused -to have anything to do with this opera, although its principal part -suited my niece's voice admirably, even in her father's judgment. But -now that they knew of my feud with the director, and of my voluntary -loss of influence, and finally of my evident disgrace, they thought the -opportunity ripe for compelling me to conduct this tiresome work -myself, as it happened to be my turn. - -Besides this, my chief occupation at the royal theatre during this -period consisted in conducting Flotow's opera MARTHA, which, although -it failed to attract the public, was nevertheless produced with -excessive frequency, owing to its convenient cast. On reviewing the -results of my labours in Dresden--where I had now been nearly seven -years--I could not help feeling humiliated when I considered the -powerful and energetic impetus I knew I had given in many directions to -the court theatre, and I found myself obliged to confess that, were I -now to leave Dresden, not, the smallest trace of my influence would -remain behind. From various signs I also gathered that, if ever it -should come to a trial before the King between the director and myself, -even if his Majesty were in my favour, yet out of consideration for the -courtier the verdict would go against me. - -Nevertheless, on Palm Sunday of the new year, 1849, I received ample -amends. In order to ensure liberal receipts, our orchestra had again -decided to produce Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. Every one did his utmost -to make this one of our finest performances, and the public took up the -matter with real enthusiasm. Michael Bakunin, unknown to the police, -had been present at the public rehearsal. At its close he walked -unhesitatingly up to me in the orchestra, and said in a loud voice, -that if all the music that had ever been written were lost in the -expected world-wide conflagration, we must pledge ourselves to rescue -this symphony, even at the peril of our lives. Not many weeks after -this performance it really seemed as though this world-wide -conflagration would actually be kindled in the streets of Dresden, and -that Bakunin, with whom I had meanwhile become more closely associated -through strange and unusual circumstances, would undertake the office -of chief stoker. - -It was long before this date that I first made the acquaintance of this -most remarkable man. For years I had come across his name in the -newspapers, and always under extraordinary circumstances. He turned up -in Paris at a Polish gathering, but although he was a Russian, he -declared that it mattered little whether a man were a Russian or a -Pole, so long as he wanted to be a free man, and that this was all that -mattered. I heard afterwards, through George Herwegh, that he had -renounced all his sources of income as a member of an influential -Russian family, and that one day, when his entire fortune consisted of -two francs, he had given them away to a beggar on the boulevard, -because it was irksome to him to be bound by this possession to take -any thought for the morrow. I was informed of his presence in Dresden -one day by Rockel, after the latter had become a rampant republican. He -had taken the Russian into his house, and invited me to come and make -his acquaintance. Bakunin was at that time being persecuted by the -Austrian government for his share in the events which took place in -Prague in the summer of 1848, and because he was a member of the Slav -Congress which had preceded them. He had consequently sought refuge in -our city, as he did not wish to settle too far from the Bohemian -frontier. The extraordinary sensation he had created in Prague arose -from the fact that, when the Czechs sought the protection of Russia -against the dreaded Germanising policy of Austria, he conjured them to -defend themselves with fire and sword against those very Russians, and -indeed against any other people who lived under the rule of a despotism -like that of the Tsars. This superficial acquaintance with Balumin's -aims had sufficed to change the purely national prejudices of the -Germans against him into sympathy. When I met him, therefore, under the -humble shelter of Rockel's roof, I was immediately struck by his -singular and altogether imposing personality. He was in the full bloom -of manhood, anywhere between thirty and forty years of age. Everything -about him was colossal, and he was full of a primitive exuberance and -strength. I never gathered that he set much store by my acquaintance. -Indeed, he did not seem to care for merely intellectual men; what he -demanded was men of reckless energy. As I afterwards perceived, theory -in this case had more weight with him than purely personal sentiment; -and he talked much and expatiated freely on the matter. His general -mode of discussion was the Socratic method, and he seemed quite at his -ease when, stretched on his host's hard sofa, he could argue -discursively with a crowd of all sorts of men on the problems of -revolution. On these occasions he invariably got the best of the -argument. It was impossible to triumph against his opinions, stated as -they were with the utmost conviction, and overstepping in every -direction even the extremest bounds of radicalism. So communicative was -he, that on the very first evening of our meeting he gave me full -details about the various stages of his development, he was a Russian -officer of high birth, but smarting under the yoke of the narrowest -martial tyranny, he had been led by a study of Rousseau's writings to -escape to Germany under pretence of taking furlough. In Berlin he had -flung himself into the study of philosophy with all the zest of a -barbarian newly awakened to civilisation. Hegel's philosophy was the -one which was the rage at that moment, and he soon became such an -expert in it, that he had been able to hurl that master's most famous -disciples from the saddle of their own philosophy, in a thesis couched -in terms of the strictest Hegelian dialectic. After he had got -philosophy off his chest, as he expressed it, he proceeded to -Switzerland, where he preached communism, and thence wandered over -France and Germany back to the borderland of the Slav world, from which -quarter he looked for the regeneration of humanity, because the Slavs -had been less enervated by civilisation. His hopes in this respect were -centred in the more strongly pronounced Slav type characteristic of the -Russian peasant class. In the natural detestation of the Russian serf -for his cruel oppressor the nobleman, he believed he could trace a -substratum of simple-minded brotherly love, and that instinct which -leads animals to hate the men who hunt them. In support of this idea he -cited the childish, almost demoniac delight of the Russian people in -fire, a quality on which Rostopschin calculated in his strategic -burning of Moscow. He argued that all that was necessary to set in -motion a world-wide movement was to convince the Russian peasant, in -whom the natural goodness of oppressed human nature had preserved its -most childlike characteristics, that it was perfectly right and well -pleasing to God for them to burn their lords' castles, with everything -in and about them. The least that could result from such a movement -would be the destruction of all those things which, rightly considered, -must appear, even to Europe's most philosophical thinkers, the real -source of all the misery of the modern world. To set these destructive -forces in action appeared to him the only object worthy of a sensible -man's activity. (Even while he was preaching these horrible doctrines, -Bakunin, noticing that my eyes troubled me, shielded them with his -outstretched hand from the naked light for a full hour, in spite of my -protestations.) This annihilation of all civilisation was the goal upon -which his heart was set. Meanwhile it amused him to utilise every lever -of political agitation he could lay hands on for the advancement of -this aim, and in so doing he often found cause for ironical merriment. -In his retreat he received people belonging to every shade of -revolutionary thought. Nearest to him stood those of Slav nationality, -because these, he thought, would be the most convenient and effective -weapons he could use in the uprooting of Russian despotism. In spite of -their republic and their socialism a la Proudhon, he thought nothing of -the French, and as for the Germans, he never mentioned them to me. -Democracy, republicanism, and anything else of the kind he regarded as -unworthy of serious consideration. - -Every objection raised by those who had the slightest wish to -reconstruct what had been demolished, he met with overwhelming -criticism. I well remember on one occasion that a Pole, startled by his -theories, maintained that there must be an organised state to guarantee -the individual in the possession of the fields he had cultivated. -'What!' he answered; 'would you carefully fence in your field to -provide a livelihood for the police again!' This shut the mouth of the -terrified Pole. He comforted himself by saying that the creators of the -new order of things would arise of themselves, but that our sole -business in the meantime was to find the power to destroy. Was any one -of us so mad as to fancy that he would survive the desired destruction? -We ought to imagine the whole of Europe with St. Petersburg, Paris, and -London transformed into a vast rubbish-heap. How could we expect the -kindlers of such a fire to retain any consciousness after so vast a -devastation? He used to puzzle any who professed their readiness for -self-sacrifice by telling them it was not the so-called tyrants who -were so obnoxious, but the smug Philistines. As a type of these he -pointed to a Protestant parson, and declared that he would not believe -he had really reached the full stature of a man until he saw him commit -his own parsonage, with his wife and child, to the flames. - -I was all the more perplexed for a while, in the face of such dreadful -ideas, by the fact that Bakunin in other respects proved a really -amiable and tender-hearted man. He was fully alive to my own anxiety -and despair with regard to the risk I ran of forever destroying my -ideals and hopes for the future of art. It is true, he declined to -receive any further instruction concerning these artistic schemes, and -would not even look at my work on the Nibelungen saga. I had just then -been inspired by a study of the Gospels to conceive the plan of a -tragedy for the ideal stage of the future, entitled Jesus of Nazareth. -Bakunin begged me to spare him any details; and when I sought to win -him over to my project by a few verbal hints, he wished me luck, but -insisted that I must at all costs make Jesus appear as a weak -character. As for the music of the piece, he advised me, amid all the -variations, to use only one set of phrases, namely: for the tenor, 'Off -with His head!'; for the soprano, 'Hang Him!'; and for the basso -continuo, 'Fire! fire!' And yet I felt more sympathetically drawn -towards this prodigy of a man when I one day induced him to hear me -play and sing the first scenes of my Fliegender Hollander. After -listening with more attention than most people gave, he exclaimed, -during a momentary pause, 'That is stupendously fine!' and wanted to -hear more. - -As his life of permanent concealment was very dull, I occasionally -invited him to spend an evening with me. For supper my wife set before -him finely cut slices of sausage and meat, which he at once devoured -wholesale, instead of spreading them frugally on his bread in Saxon -fashion. Noticing Minna's alarm at this, I was guilty of the weakness -of telling him how we were accustomed to consume such viands, whereupon -he reassured me with a laugh, saying that it was quite enough, only he -would like to eat what was set before him in his own way. I was -similarly astonished at the manner in which he drank wine from our -ordinary-sized small glasses. As a matter of fact he detested wine, -which only satisfied his craving for alcoholic stimulants in such -paltry, prolonged, and subdivided doses; whereas a stiff glass of -brandy, swallowed at a gulp, at once produced the same result, which, -after all, was only temporarily attained. Above all, he scorned the -sentiment which seeks to prolong enjoyment by moderation, arguing that -a true man should only strive to still the cravings of nature, and that -the only real pleasure in life worthy of a man was love. - -These and other similar little characteristics showed clearly that in -this remarkable man the purest impulses of an ideal humanity conflicted -strangely with a savagery entirely inimical to all civilisation, so -that my feelings during my intercourse with him fluctuated between -involuntary horror and irresistible attraction. I frequently called for -him to share my lonely wanderings. This he gladly did, not only for the -sake of necessary bodily exercise, but also because he could do so in -this part of the world without fear of meeting his pursuers. My -attempts during our conversations to instruct him more fully regarding -my artistic aims remained quite unavailing as long as we were unable to -quit the field of mere discussion. All these things seemed to him -premature. He refused to admit that out of the very needs of the evil -present all laws for the future would have to be evolved, and that -these, moreover, must be moulded upon quite different ideas of social -culture. Seeing that he continued to urge destruction, and again -destruction, I had at last to inquire how my wonderful friend proposed -to set this work of destruction in operation. It then soon became -clear, as I had suspected it would, and as the event soon proved, that -with this man of boundless activity everything rested upon the most -impossible hypotheses. Doubtless I, with my hopes of a future artistic -remodelling of human society, appeared to him to be floating in the -barren air; yet it soon became obvious to me that his assumptions as to -the unavoidable demolition of all the institutions of culture were at -least equally visionary. My first idea was that Bakunin was the centre -of an international conspiracy; but his practical plans seem originally -to have been restricted to a project for revolutionising Prague, where -he relied merely on a union formed among a handful of students. -Believing that the time had now come to strike a blow, he prepared -himself one evening to go there. This proceeding was not free from -danger, and he set off under the protection of a passport made out for -an English merchant. First of all, however, with the view of adapting -himself to the most Philistine culture, he had to submit his huge beard -and bushy hair to the tender mercies of the razor and shears. As no -barber was available, Rockel had to undertake the task. A small group -of friends watched the operation, which had to be executed with a dull -razor, causing no little pain, under which none but the victim himself -remained passive. We bade farewell to Bakunin with the firm conviction -that we should never see him again alive. But in a week he was back -once more, as he had realised immediately what a distorted account he -had received as to the state of things in Prague, where all he found -ready for him was a mere handful of childish students. These admissions -made him the butt of Rockel's good-humoured chaff, and after this he -won the reputation among us of being a mere revolutionary, who was -content with theoretical conspiracy. Very similar to his expectations -from the Prague students were his presumptions with regard to the -Russian people. These also afterwards proved to be entirely groundless, -and based merely on gratuitous assumptions drawn from the supposed -nature of things. I consequently found myself driven to explain the -universal belief in the terrible dangerousness of this man by his -theoretical views, as expressed here and elsewhere, and not as arising -from any actual experience of his practical activity. But I was soon to -become almost an eye-witness of the fact that his personal conduct was -never for a moment swayed by prudence, such as one is accustomed to -meet in those whose theories are not seriously meant. This was shortly -to be proved in the momentous insurrection of May, 1849. - -The winter of this year, up to the spring of 1849, passed in a -many-sided development of my position and temper, as I have described -them, that is to say, in a sort of dull agitation. My latest artistic -occupation had been the five-act drama, Jesus of Nazareth, just -mentioned. Henceforth I lingered on in a state of brooding instability, -full of expectation, yet without any definite wish. I felt fully -convinced that my activity in Dresden, as an artist, had come to an -end, and I was only waiting for the pressure of circumstances to shake -myself free. On the other hand, the whole political situation, both in -Saxony and the rest of Germany, tended inevitably towards a -catastrophe. Day by day this drew nearer, and I flattered myself into -regarding my own personal fate as interwoven with this universal -unrest. Now that the powers of reaction were everywhere more and more -openly bracing themselves for conflict, the final decisive struggle -seemed indeed close at hand. My feelings of partisanship were not -sufficiently passionate to make me desire to take any active share in -these conflicts. I was merely conscious of an impulse to give myself up -recklessly to the stream of events, no matter whither it might lead. - -Just at this moment, however, an entirely new influence forced itself -in a most strange fashion into my fortunes, and was at first greeted by -me with a smile of scepticism. Liszt wrote announcing an early -production in Weimar of my Tannhauser under his own conductorship--the -first that had taken place outside Dresden--and he added with great -modesty that this was merely a fulfilment of his own personal desire. -In order to ensure success he had sent a special invitation to -Tichatschek to be his guest for the two first performances. When the -latter returned he said that the production had, on the whole, been a -success, which surprised me very much. I received a gold snuff-box from -the Grand Duke as a keepsake, which I continued to use until the year -1864. All this was new and strange to me, and I was still inclined to -regard this otherwise agreeable occurrence as a fleeting episode, due -to the friendly feeling of a great artist. 'What does this mean for -me?' I asked myself. 'Has it come too early or too late?' But a very -cordial letter from Liszt induced me to visit Weimar for a few days -later on, for a third performance of Tannhausar, which was to be -carried out entirely by native talent, with a view to the permanent -addition of this opera to the repertoire. For this purpose I obtained -leave of absence from my management for the second week in May. - -Only a few days elapsed before the execution of this little plan; but -they were destined to be momentous ones. On the 1st of May the Chambers -were dissolved by the new Beust ministry, which the King had charged -with carrying out his proposed reactionary policy. This event imposed -upon me the friendly task of caring for Rockel and his family. Hitherto -his position as a deputy had shielded him from the danger of criminal -prosecution; but as soon as the Chambers were dissolved this protection -was withdrawn, and he had to escape by flight from being arrested -again. As I could do little to help him in this matter, I promised at -least to provide for the continued publication of his popular -Volksblatt, mainly because the proceeds from this would support his -family. Scarcely was Rockel safely across the Bohemian frontier, while -I was still toiling at great inconvenience to myself in the printer's -office, in order to provide material for an issue of his paper, when -the long-expected storm burst over Dresden. Emergency deputations, -nightly mob demonstrations, stormy meetings of the various unions, and -all the other signs that precede a swift decision in the streets, -manifested themselves. On the 3rd May the demeanour of the crowds -moving in our thoroughfares plainly showed that this consummation would -soon be reached, as was undoubtedly desired. Each local deputation -which petitioned for the recognition of the German constitution, which -was the universal cry, was refused an audience by the government, and -this with a peremptoriness which at last became startling. I was -present one afternoon at a committee meeting of the Vaterlands-Verein, -although merely as a representative of Rockel's Volksblatt, for whose -continuance, both from economic as well as humane motives, I felt -pledged. Here I was at once absorbed in watching the conduct and -demeanour of the men whom popular favour had raised to the leadership -of such unions. It was quite evident that events had passed beyond the -control of these persons; more particularly were they utterly at a loss -as to how to deal with that peculiar terrorism exerted by the lower -classes which is always so ready to react upon the representatives of -democratic theories. On every side I heard a medley of wild proposals -and hesitating responses. One of the chief subjects under debate was -the necessity of preparing for defence. Arms, and how to procure them, -were eagerly discussed, but all in the midst of great disorder; and -when at last they discovered that it was time to break up, the only -impression I received was one of the wildest confusion. I loft the hall -with a young painter named Kaufmann, from whose hand I had previously -seen a series of cartoons in the Dresden Art Exhibition, illustrating -'The History of the Mind.' One day I had seen the King of Saxony -standing before one of these, representing the torture of a heretic -under the Spanish Inquisition, and observed him turn away with a -disapproving shake of the head from so abstruse a subject. I was on my -way home, deep in conversation with this man, whose pale face and -troubled look betrayed that he foresaw the disaster that was imminent, -when, just as we reached the Postplatz, near the fountain erected from -Semper's design, the clang of bells from the neighbouring tower of St. -Ann's Church suddenly sounded the tocsin of revolt. With a terrified -cry, 'Good God, it has begun!' my companion vanished from my side. He -wrote to me--afterwards to say that he was living as a fugitive in -Berne, but I never saw his face again. - -The clang of this bell, so close at hand, made a profound impression -upon me also. It was a very sunny afternoon, and I at once noticed the -same phenomenon which Goethe describes in his attempt to depict his own -sensations during the bombardment of Valmy. The whole square looked as -though it were illuminated by a dark yellow, almost brown, light, such -as I had once before seen in Magdeburg during an eclipse of the sun. My -most pronounced sensation beyond this was one of great, almost -extravagant, satisfaction. I felt a sudden strange longing to play with -something hitherto regarded as dangerous and important. My first idea, -suggested probably by the vicinity of the square, was to inquire at -Tichatschek's house for the gun which, as an enthusiastic Sunday -sportsman, he was accustomed to use. I only found his wife at home, as -he was away on a holiday tour. Her evident terror as to what was going -to happen provoked me to uncontrollable laughter. I advised her to -lodge her husband's gun in a place of safety, by handing it to the -committee of the Vaterlands-Verein in return for a receipt, as it might -otherwise soon be requisitioned by the mob. I have since learned that -my eccentric behaviour on this occasion, was afterwards reckoned -against me as a serious crime. I then returned to the streets, to see -whether anything beyond a ringing of bells and a yellowish eclipse of -the sun might be going on in the town, I first made my way to the Old -Market-place, where I noticed a group of men gathered round a -vociferous orator. It was also an agreeable surprise to me to see -Schroder-Devrient descending at the door of a hotel. She had just -arrived from Merlin, and was keenly excited by the news which had -reached her, that the populace had already been fired upon. As she had -only recently seen an abortive insurrection crushed by arms in Berlin, -she was indignant to find the same things happening in her 'peaceful -Dresden' as she termed it. - -When she turned to me from the stolid crowd, which had complacently -been listening to her passionate outpourings, she seemed relieved at -finding some one to whom she could appeal to oppose these horrible -proceedings with all his might. I met her on another occasion at the -house of my old friend Heine, where she had taken refuge. When she -noticed my indifference she again adjured me to use every possible -effort to prevent the senseless, suicidal conflict. I heard afterwards -that a charge of high treason on account of sedition had been brought -against Schroder-Devrient by reason of her conduct in regard to this -matter. She had to prove her innocence in a court of law, so as to -establish beyond dispute her claim to the pension which she had been -promised by contract for her many years' service in Dresden as an -opera-singer. - -On the 3rd of May I betook myself direct to that quarter of the town -where I heard unpleasant rumours of a sanguinary conflict having taken -place. I afterwards learned that the actual cause of the dispute -between the civil and military power had arisen when the watch had been -changed in front of the Arsenal. At that moment the mob, under a bold -leader, had seized the opportunity to take forcible possession of the -armoury. A display of military force was made, and the crowd was fired -upon by a few cannon loaded with grape-shot. As I approached the scene -of operations through the Rampische Gasse, I met a company of the -Dresden Communal Guards, who, although they were quite innocent, had -apparently been exposed to this fire. I noticed that one of the citizen -guards, leaning heavily on the arm of a comrade, was trying to hurry -along, in spite of the fact that his right leg seemed to be dragging -helplessly behind him. Some of the crowd, seeing the blood on the -pavement behind him, shouted 'He is bleeding.' In the midst of this -excitement I suddenly became conscious of the cry raised on all sides: -'To the barricades! to the barricades!' Driven by a mechanical impulse -I followed the stream of people, which moved once more in the direction -of the Town Hall in the Old Market-place. Amid the terrific tumult I -particularly noticed a significant group stretching right across the -street, and striding along the Rosmaringasse. It reminded me, though -the simile was rather exaggerated, of the crowd that had once stood at -the doors of the theatre and demanded free entrance to Rienzi; among -them was a hunchback, who at once suggested Goethe's Vansen in Egmont, -and as the revolutionary cry rose about his ears, I saw him rub his -hands together in great glee over the long-desired ecstasy of revolt -which he had realised at last. - -I recollect quite clearly that from that moment I was attracted by -surprise and interest in the drama, without feeling any desire to join -the ranks of the combatants. However, the agitation caused by my -sympathy as a mere spectator increased with every step I felt impelled -to take. I was able to press right into the rooms of the town council, -escaping notice in the tumultuous crowd, and it seemed to me as if the -officials were guilty of collusion with the mob. I made my way -unobserved into the council-chamber; what I saw there was utter -disorder and confusion. When night fell I wandered slowly through the -hastily made barricades, consisting chiefly of market stalls, back to -my house in the distant Friedrichstrasse, and next morning I again -watched these amazing proceedings with sympathetic interest. - -On Thursday, 4th May, I could see that the Town Hall was gradually -becoming the undoubted centre of the revolution. That section of the -people who had hoped for a peaceful understanding with the monarch was -thrown into the utmost consternation by the news that the King and his -whole court, acting on the advice of his minister Beust, had left the -palace, and had gone by ship down the Elbe to the fortress of -Konigstein. In those circumstances the town council saw they were no -longer able to face the situation, and thereupon took part in summoning -those members of the Saxon Chamber who were still in Dresden. These -latter now assembled in the Town Hall to decide what steps should be -taken for the protection of the state. A deputation was sent to the -ministry, but returned with the report that they were nowhere to be -found. At the same moment news arrived from all sides that, in -accordance with a previous compact, the King of Prussia's troops would -advance to occupy Dresden. A general outcry immediately arose for -measures to be adopted to prevent this incursion of foreign troops. - -Simultaneously with this, came the intelligence of the national -uprising in Wurtemberg, where the troops themselves had frustrated the -intentions of the government by their declaration of fidelity to the -parliament, and the ministry had been compelled against their will to -acknowledge the Pan-German Constitution. The opinion of our -politicians, who were assembled in consultation, was that the matter -might still be settled by peaceful means, if it were possible to induce -the Saxon troops to take up a similar attitude, as by this means the -King would at least be placed under the wholesome necessity of offering -patriotic resistance to the Prussian occupation of his country. - -Everything seemed to depend on making the Saxon battalions in Dresden -understand the paramount importance of their action. As this seemed to -me the only hope of an honourable peace in this senseless chaos, I -confess that, on this one occasion, I did allow myself to be led astray -so far as to organise a demonstration which, however, proved futile. - -I induced the printer of Rockel's Volksblatt, which was for the moment -at a standstill, to employ all the type he would have used for his next -number, in printing in huge characters on strips of paper the words: -Seid Ihr mit uns gegen fremde Truppen? ('Are you on our side against -the foreign troops?'). Placards bearing these words were fixed on those -barricades which it was thought would be the first to be assaulted, and -were intended to bring the Saxon troops to a halt if they were -commanded to attack the revolutionaries. Of course no one took any -notice of these placards except intending informers. On that day -nothing but confused negotiations and wild excitement took place which -threw no light on the situation. The Old Town of Dresden, with its -barricades, was an interesting enough sight for the spectators. I -looked on with amazement and disgust, but my attention was suddenly -distracted by seeing Bakunin emerge from his hiding-place and wander -among the barricades in a black frockcoat. But I was very much mistaken -in thinking he would be pleased with what he saw; he recognised the -childish inefficiency of all the measures that had been taken for -defence, and declared that the only satisfaction he could feel in the -state of affairs was that he need not trouble about the police, but -could calmly consider the question of going elsewhere, as he found no -inducement to take part in an insurrection conducted in such a slovenly -fashion. While he walked about, smoking his cigar, and making fun of -the naivete of the Dresden revolution, I watched the Communal Guards -assembling under arms in front of the Town Hall at the summons of their -commandant. From the ranks of its most popular corps, the -Schutzen-Compagnie, I was accosted by Rietschel, who was most anxious -about the nature of the rising, and also by Semper. Rietschel, who -seemed to think I was better informed of the facts than he was, assured -me that he felt his position was a very difficult one. He said the -select company to which he belonged was very democratic, and as his -professorship at the Fine Arts Academy placed him in a peculiar -position, he did not know how to reconcile the sentiments he shared -with his company with his duty as a citizen. The word 'citizen' amused -me; I glanced sharply at Semper and repeated the word 'citizen.' Semper -responded with a peculiar smile, and turned away without further -comment. - -The next day (Friday the 5th of May), when I again took my place as a -passionately interested spectator of the proceedings at the Town Hall, -events took a decisive turn. The remnant of the leaders of the Saxon -people there assembled thought it advisable to constitute themselves -into a provisional government, as there was no Saxon government in -existence with which negotiations could be conducted. Professor Kochly, -who was an eloquent speaker, was chosen to proclaim the new -administration. He performed this solemn ceremony from the balcony of -the Town Hall, facing the faithful remnant of the Communal Guards and -the not very numerous crowd. At the same time the legal existence of -the Pan-German Constitution was proclaimed, and allegiance to it was -sworn by the armed forces of the nation. I recollect that these -proceedings did not seem to me imposing, and Bakunin's reiterated -opinion about their triviality gradually became more comprehensible. -Even from a technical point of view these reflections were justified -when, to my great amusement and surprise, Semper, in the full uniform -of a citizen guard, with a hat bedecked with the national colours, -asked for me at the Town Hall, and informed me of the extremely faulty -construction of the barricades in the Wild Strufergasse and the -neighbouring Brudergasse. To pacify his artistic conscience as an -engineer I directed him to the office of the 'Military Commission for -the Defence.' He followed my advice with conscientious satisfaction; -possibly he obtained the necessary authorisation to give instructions -for the building of suitable works of defence at that neglected point. -After that I never saw him again in Dresden; but I presume that he -carried out the strategic works entrusted to him by that committee with -all the conscientiousness of a Michael Angelo or a Leonardo da Vinci. - -The rest of the day passed in continuous negotiations over the truce -which, by arrangement with the Saxon troops, was to last until noon of -the next day. In this business I noticed the very pronounced activity -of a former college friend, Marschall von Bieberstein, a lawyer who, in -his capacity as senior officer of the Dresden Communal Guard, -distinguished himself by his boundless zeal amid the shouts of a mighty -band of fellow-orators. On that day a certain Heinz, formerly a Greek -colonel, was placed in command of the armed forces. These proceedings -did not seem at all satisfactory to Bakunin, who put in an occasional -appearance. While the provisional government placed all its hopes on -finding a peaceful settlement of the conflict by moral persuasion, he, -on the contrary, with his clear vision foresaw a well-planned military -attack by the Prussians, and thought it could only be met by good -strategic measures. He therefore urgently pressed for the acquisition -of some experienced Polish officers who happened to be in Dresden, as -the Saxon revolutionaries appeared to be absolutely lacking in military -tactics. Everybody was afraid to take this course; on the other hand, -great expectations were entertained from negotiations with the -Frankfort States Assembly, which was on its last legs. Everything was -to be done as far as possible in legal form. The time passed pleasantly -enough. Elegant ladies with their cavaliers promenaded the barricaded -streets during those beautiful spring evenings. It seemed to be little -more than an entertaining drama. The unaccustomed aspect of things even -afforded me genuine pleasure, combined with a feeling that the whole -thing was not quite serious, and that a friendly proclamation from the -government would put an end to it. So I strolled comfortably home -through the numerous barricades at a late hour, thinking as I went of -the material for a drama, Achilleus, with which I had been occupied for -some time. - -At home I found my two nieces, Clara and Ottilie Brockhaus, the -daughters of my sister Louisa. They had been living for a year with a -governess in Dresden, and their weekly visits and contagious good -spirits delighted me. Every one was in a high state of glee about the -revolution; they all heartily approved of the barricades, and felt no -scruples about desiring victory for their defenders. Protected by the -truce, this state of mind remained undisturbed the whole of Friday (5th -May). From all parts came news which led us to believe in a universal -uprising throughout Germany. Baden and the Palatinate were in the -throes of a revolt on behalf of the whole of Germany. Similar rumours -came in from free towns like Breslau. In Leipzig, volunteer student -corps had mustered contingents for Dresden, which arrived amid the -exultation of the populace. A fully equipped defence department was -organised at the Town Hall, and young Heine, disappointed like myself -in his hopes of the performance of Lohengrin, had also joined this -body. Vigorous promises of support came from the Saxon Erzgebirge, as -well as announcements that armed contingents were forthcoming. Every -one thought, therefore, that if only the Old Town were kept well -barricaded, it could safely defy the threat of foreign occupation. -Early on Saturday, 6th May, it was obvious that the situation was -becoming more serious. Prussian troops had marched into the New Town, -and the Saxon troops, which it had not been considered advisable to use -for an attack, were kept loyal to the flag. The truce expired at noon, -and the troops, supported by several guns, at once opened the attack on -one, of the principal positions held by the people on the Neumarkt. - -So far I had entertained no other conviction than that the matter would -be decided in the most summary fashion as soon as it came to an actual -conflict, for there was no evidence in the state of my own feelings -(or, indeed, in what I was able to gather independently of them) of -that passionate seriousness of purpose, without which tests as severe -as this have never been successfully withstood. It was irritating to -me, while I heard the sharp rattle of fire, to be unable to gather -anything of what was going on, and I thought by climbing the Kreuz -tower I might get a good view. Even from this elevation I could not see -anything clearly, but I gathered enough to satisfy myself that after an -hour of heavy firing the advance artillery of the Prussian troops had -retired, and had at last been completely silenced, their withdrawal -being signalled by a loud shout of jubilation from the populace. -Apparently the first attack had exhausted itself; and now my interest -in what was going on began to assume a more and more vivid hue. To -obtain information in greater detail I hurried back to the Town Hall. I -could extract nothing, however, from the boundless confusion which I -met, until at last I came upon Bakunin in the midst of the main group -of speakers. He was able to give me an extraordinarily accurate account -of what had happened. Information had reached headquarters from a -barricade in the Neumarkt where the attack was most serious, that -everything had been in a state of confusion there before the onslaught -of the troops; thereupon my friend Marschall von Bieberstein, together -with Leo von Zichlinsky, who were officers in the citizen corps, had -called up some volunteers and conducted them to the place of danger. -Kreis-Amtmann Heubner of Freiberg, without a weapon to defend himself, -and with bared head, jumped immediately on to the top of the barricade, -which had just been abandoned by all its defenders. He was the sole -member of the provisional government to remain on the spot, the -leaders, Todt and Tschirner, having disappeared at the first sign of a -panic. Heubner turned round to exhort the volunteers to advance, -addressing them in stirring words. His success was complete, the -barricade was taken again, and a fire, as unexpected as it was fierce, -was directed upon the troops, which, as I myself saw, were forced to -retire. Bakunin had been in close touch with this action, he had -followed the volunteers, and he now explained to me that however narrow -might be the political views of Heubner (he belonged to the moderate -Left of the Saxon Chamber), he was a man of noble character, at whose -service he had immediately placed his own life. - -Bakunin had only needed this example to determine his own line of -conduct; he had decided to risk his neck in the attempt and to ask no -further questions. Heubner too was now bound to recognise the necessity -for extreme measures, and no longer recoiled from any proposal on the -part of Bakunin which was directed to this end. The military advice of -experienced Polish officers was brought to bear on the commandant, -whose incapacity had not been slow to reveal itself; Bakunin, who -openly confessed that he understood nothing of pure strategy, never -moved from the Town Hall, but remained at Heubner's side, giving advice -and information in every direction with wonderful sangfroid. For the -rest of the day the battle confined itself to skirmishes by -sharpshooters from the various positions. I was itching to climb the -Kreuz tower again, so as to get the widest possible survey over the -whole field of action. In order to reach this tower from the Town Hall, -one had to pass through a space which was under a cross-fire of -rifle-shots from the troops posted in the royal palace. At a moment -when this square was quite deserted, I yielded to my daring impulse, -and crossed it on my way to the Kreuz tower at a slow pace, remembering -that in such circumstances the young soldier is advised never to hurry, -because by so doing he may draw the shot upon himself. On reaching this -post of vantage I found several people who had gathered there, some of -them driven by a curiosity like my own, others in obedience to an order -from the headquarters of the revolutionaries to reconnoitre the enemy's -movements. Amongst them I made the acquaintance of a schoolmaster -called Berthold, a man of quiet and gentle disposition, but full of -conviction and determination. I lost myself in an earnest philosophical -discussion with him which extended to the widest spheres of religion. -At the same time he showed a homely anxiety to protect us from the -cone-shaped bullets of the Prussian sharpshooters by placing us -ingeniously behind a barricade consisting of one of the straw -mattresses which he had cajoled out of the warder. The Prussian -sharpshooters were posted on the distant tower of the Frauenkirche, and -had chosen the height occupied by us as their target. At nightfall I -found it impossible to make up my mind to go home and leave my -interesting place of refuge, so I persuaded the warder to send a -subordinate to Friedrichstadt with a few lines to my wife, and with -instructions to ask her to let me have some necessary provisions. Thus -I spent one of the most extraordinary nights of my life, taking turns -with Berthold to keep watch and sleep, close beneath the great bell -with its terrible groaning clang, and with the accompaniment of the -continuous rattle of the Prussian shot as it beat against the tower -walls. - -Sunday (the 7th of May) was one of the most beautiful days in the year. -I was awakened by the song of a nightingale, which rose to our ears -from the Schutze garden close by. A sacred calm and peacefulness lay -over the town and the wide suburbs of Dresden, which were visible from -my point of vantage. Towards sunrise a mist settled upon the outskirts, -and suddenly through its folds we could hear the music of the -Marseillaise making its way clearly and distinctly from the district of -the Tharanderstrasse. As the sound drew nearer and nearer, the mist -dispersed, and the glow of the rising sun spread a glittering light -upon the weapons of a long column which was winding its way towards the -town. It was impossible not to feel deeply impressed at the sight of -this continuous procession. Suddenly a perception of that element which -I had so long missed in the German people was borne in upon me in all -its essential freshness and vital colour. The fact that until this -moment I had been obliged to resign myself to its absence, had -contributed not a little to the feelings by which I had been swayed. -Here I beheld some thousand men from the Erzgebirge, mostly miners, -well armed and organised, who had rallied to the defence of Dresden. -Soon we saw them march up the Altmarkt opposite the Town Hall, and -after receiving a joyful welcome, bivouac there to recover from their -journey. Reinforcements continued to pour in the whole day long, and -the heroic achievement of the previous day now received its reward in -the shape of a universal elevation of spirits. A change seemed to have -been made in the plan of attack by the Prussian troops. This could be -gathered from the fact that numerous simultaneous attacks, but of a -less concentrated type, were made upon various positions. The troops -which had come to reinforce us brought with them four small cannon, the -property of a certain Herr Thade von Burgk, whose acquaintance I had -made before on the occasion of the anniversary of the founding of the -Dresden Choral Society, when he had made a speech which was well -intentioned but wearisome to the point of being ludicrous. The -recollection of this speech returned to me with peculiar irony, now -that his cannon were being fired from the barricade upon the enemy. I -felt a still deeper impression, however, when, towards eleven o'clock, -I saw the old Opera House, in which a few weeks ago I had conducted the -last performance of the Ninth Symphony, burst into flames. As I have -had occasion to mention before, the danger from fire to which this -building was exposed, full as it was with wood and all kind of textile -fabric, and originally built only for a temporary purpose, had always -been a subject of terror and apprehension to those who visited it. - -I was told that the Opera House had been set alight on strategical -grounds, in order to face a dangerous attack on this exposed side, and -also to protect the famous 'Semper' barricade from an overpowering -surprise. From this I concluded that reasons of this kind act as far -more powerful motives in the world than aesthetic considerations. For a -long time men of taste had vainly cried aloud for abolition of this -ugly building which was such an eyesore by the side of the elegant -proportions of the Zwinger Gallery in its neighbourhood. In a few -moments the Opera House (which as regards size was, it is true, an -imposing edifice), together with its highly inflammable contents, was a -vast sea of flames. When this reached the metal roofs of the -neighbouring wings of the Zwinger, and enveloped them in wonderful -bluish waves of fire, the first expression of regret made itself -audible amongst the spectators. What a disaster! Some thought that the -Natural History collection was in danger; others maintained that it was -the Armoury, upon which a citizen soldier retorted that if such were -the case, it would be a very good job if the 'stuffed noblemen' were -burnt to cinders. But it appeared that a keen sense of the value of art -knew how to curb the fire's lust for further dominion, and, as a matter -of fact, it did but little damage in that quarter. Finally our post of -observation, which until now had remained comparatively quiet, was -filled itself with swarms and swarms of armed men, who had been ordered -thither to defend the approach from the church to the Altmarkt, upon -which an attack was feared from the side of the ill-secured Kreuzgasse. -Unarmed men were now in the way; moreover, I had received a message -from my wife summoning me home after the long and terrible anxiety she -had suffered. - -At last, after meeting with innumerable obstacles and overcoming a host -of difficulties, I succeeded, by means of all sorts of circuitous -routes, in reaching my remote suburb, from which I was cut off by the -fortified portions of the town, and especially by a cannonade directed -from the Zwinger. My lodgings were full to overflowing with excited -women who had collected round Minna; among them the panic-stricken wife -of Rockel, who suspected her husband of being in the very thick of the -fight, as she thought that on the receipt of the news that Dresden had -risen he would probably have returned. As a matter of fact, I had heard -a rumour that Rockel had arrived on this very day, but as yet I had not -obtained a glimpse of him. My young nieces helped once more to raise my -spirits. The firing had put them into a high state of glee, which to -some extent infected my wife, as soon as she was reassured as to my -personal safety. All of them were furious with the sculptor Hanel, who -had never ceased insisting upon the expedience of bolting the house to -prevent an entry of the revolutionaries. All the women without -exception were joking about his abject terror at the sight of some men -armed with scythes who had appeared in the street In this way Sunday -passed like a sort of family jollification. - -On the following morning (Monday, 8th May) I tried again to get -information as to the state of affairs by forcing my way to the Town -Hall from my house, which was cut off from the place of action. As in -the course of my journey I was making my way over a barricade near St. -Ann's Church, one of the Communal Guard shouted out to me, 'Hullo, -conductor, your der Freude schoner Gotterfunken [Footnote: These words -refer to the opening of the Ninth Symphony chorus: 'Freude, Freude, -Freude, schoner gotterfunken Tochter aus Elysium'--(Praise her, praise -oh praise Joy, the god-descended daughter of Elysium.) English version -by Natalia Macfarren.--Editor.] has indeed set fire to things. The -rotten building is rased to the ground.' Obviously the man was an -enthusiastic member of the audience at my last performance of the Ninth -Symphony. Coming upon me so unexpectedly, this pathetic greeting filled -me with a curious sense of strength and freedom. A little further on, -in a lonely alley in the suburb of Plauen, I fell in with the musician -Hiebendahl, the first oboist in the royal orchestra, and a man who -still enjoyed a very high reputation; he was in the uniform of the -Communal Guards, but carried no gun, and was chatting with a citizen in -a similar costume. As soon as he saw me, he felt he must immediately -make an appeal to me to use my influence against Rockel, who, -accompanied by ordnance officers of the revolutionary party, was -instituting a search for guns in this quarter. As soon as he realised -that I was making sympathetic inquiries about Rockel, he drew back -frightened, and said to me in tones of the deepest anxiety: 'But, -conductor, have you no thought for your position, and what you may lose -by exposing yourself in this fashion?' This remark had the most drastic -effect upon me; I burst into a loud laugh, and told him that my -position was not worth a thought one way or the other. This indeed was -the expression of my real feelings, which had long been suppressed, and -now broke out into almost jubilant utterance. At that moment I caught -sight of Rockel, with two men of the citizen army who were carrying -some guns, making his way towards me. He gave me a most friendly -greeting, but turned at once to Hiebendahl and his companion and asked -him why he was idling about here in uniform instead of being at his -post. When Hiebendahl made the excuse that his gun had been -requisitioned, Rockel cried out to him, 'You're a fine lot of fellows!' -and went away laughing. He gave me a brief account as we proceeded of -what had happened to him since I had lost sight of him, and thus spared -me the obligation of giving him a report of his Volksblatt. We were -interrupted by an imposing troop of well-armed young students of the -gymnasium who had just entered the city and wished to have a safe -conduct to their place of muster. The sight of these serried ranks of -youthful figures, numbering several hundreds, who were stepping bravely -to their duty, did not fail to make the most elevating impression upon -me. Rockel undertook to accompany them over the barricade in safety to -the mastering place in front of the Town Hall. He took the opportunity -of lamenting the utter absence of true spirit which he had hitherto -encountered in those in command. He had proposed, in case of extremity, -to defend the most seriously threatened barricades by tiring them with -pitch brands; at the mere word the provisional government had fallen -into a veritable state of panic. I let him go his way in order that I -might enjoy the privilege of a solitary person and reach the Town Hall -by a short cut, and it was not until thirteen years later that I again -set eyes upon him. - -In the Town Hall I learned from Bakunin that the provisional government -had passed a resolution, on his advice, to abandon the position in -Dresden, which had been entirely neglected from the beginning, and was -consequently quite untenable for any length of time. This resolution -proposed an armed retreat to the Erzgebirge, where it would be possible -to concentrate the reinforcements pouring in from all sides, especially -from Thuringia, in such strength, that the advantageous position could -be used to inaugurate a German civil war that would sound no hesitating -note at its outset. To persist in defending isolated barricaded streets -in Dresden could, on the other hand, lend little but the character of -an urban riot to the contest, although it was pursued with the highest -courage. I must confess that this idea seemed to me magnificent and -full of meaning. Up to this moment I had been moved only by a feeling -of sympathy for a method of procedure entered upon at first with almost -ironical incredulity, and then pursued with the vigour of surprise. -Now, however, all that had before seemed incomprehensible, unfolded -itself before my vision in the form of a great and hopeful solution. -Without either feeling that I was in any way being compelled, or that -it was my vocation to get some part or function allotted to me in these -events, I now definitely abandoned all consideration for my personal -situation, and determined to surrender myself to the stream of -developments which flowed in the direction towards which my feelings -had driven me with a delight that was full of despair. Still, I did not -wish to leave my wife helpless in Dresden, and I rapidly devised a -means of drawing her into the path which I had chosen, without -immediately informing her of what my resolve meant. During my hasty -return to Friedrichstadt I recognised that this portion of the town had -been almost entirely cut off from the inner city by the occupation of -the Prussian troops; I saw in my mind's eye our own suburb occupied, -and the consequences of a state of military siege in their most -repulsive light. It was an easy job to persuade Minna to accompany me -on a visit, by way of the Tharanderstrasse, which was still free, to -Chemnitz, where my married sister Clara lived. It was only a matter of -a moment for her to arrange her household orders, and she promised to -follow me to the next village in an hour with the parrot. I went on in -advance with my little dog Peps, in order to hire a carriage in which -to proceed on our journey to Chemnitz. It was a smiling spring morning -when I traversed for the last time the paths I had so often trod on my -lonely walks, with the knowledge that I should never wander along them -again. While the larks were soaring to dizzy heights above my head, and -singing in the furrows of the fields, the light and heavy artillery did -not cease to thunder down the streets of Dresden. The noise of this -shooting, which had continued uninterruptedly for several days, had -hammered itself so indelibly upon my nerves, that it continued to -re-echo for a long time in my brain; just as the motion of the ship -which took me to London had made me stagger for some time afterwards. -Accompanied by this terrible music, I threw my parting greeting to the -towers of the city that lay behind me, and said to myself with a smile, -that if, seven years ago, my entry had taken place under thoroughly -obscure auspices, at all events my exit was conducted with some show of -pomp and ceremony. - -When at last I found myself with Minna in a one-horse carriage on the -way to the Erzgebirge, we frequently met armed reinforcements on their -way to Dresden. The sight of them always kindled an involuntary joy in -us; even my wife could not refrain from addressing words of -encouragement to the men; at present it seemed not a single barricade -had been lost. On the other hand, a gloomy impression was made upon us -by a company of regulars which was making its way towards Dresden in -silence. We asked some of them whither they were bound; and their -answer, 'To do their duty,' had been obviously impressed upon them by -command. At last we reached my relations in Chemnitz. I terrified all -those near and dear to me when I declared my intention to return to -Dresden on the following day at the earliest possible hour, in order to -ascertain how things were going there. In spite of all attempts to -dissuade me, I carried out my decision, pursued by a suspicion that I -should meet the armed forces of the Dresden people on the country -highroad in the act of retreat. The nearer I approached the capital, -the stronger became the confirmation of the rumours that, as yet, there -was no thought in Dresden of surrender or withdrawal, but that, on the -contrary, the contest was proving very favourable for the national -party. All this appeared to me like one miracle after another. On this -day, Tuesday, 9th of May, I once more forced my way in a high state of -excitement over ground which had become more and more inaccessible. All -the highways had to be avoided, and it was only possible to make -progress through such houses as had been broken through. At last I -reached the Town Hall in the Altstadt, just as night was falling. A -truly terrible spectacle met my eyes, for I crossed those parts of the -town in which preparations had been made for a house-to-house fight. -The incessant groaning of big and small guns reduced to an uncanny -murmur all the other sounds that came from armed men ceaselessly crying -out to one another from barricade to barricade, and from one house to -another, which they had broken through. Pitch brands burnt here and -there, pale-faced figures lay prostrate around the watch-posts, half -dead with fatigue, and any unarmed wayfarer forcing a path for himself -was sharply challenged. Nothing, however, that I have lived through can -be compared with the impression that I received on my entry into the -chambers of the Town Hall. Here was a gloomy, and yet fairly compact -and serious mass of people; a look of unspeakable fatigue was upon all -faces; not a single voice had retained its natural tone. There was a -hoarse jumble of conversation inspired by a state of the highest -tension. The only familiar sight that survived was to be found in the -old servants of the Town Hall in their curious antiquated uniform and -three-cornered hats. These tall men, at other times an object of -considerable fear, I found engaged partly in buttering pieces of bread, -and cutting slices of ham and sausage, and partly in piling into -baskets immense stores of provisions for the messengers sent by the -defenders of the barricades for supplies. These men had turned into -veritable nursing mothers of the revolution. - -As I proceeded further, I came at last upon the members of the -provisional government, among whom Todt and Tschirner, after their -first panic-stricken flight, were once more to be found gliding to and -fro, gloomy as spectres, now that they were chained to the performance -of their heavy duties. Heubner alone had preserved his full energy; but -he was a really piteous sight: a ghostly fire burned in his eyes which -had not had a wink of sleep for seven nights. He was delighted to see -me again, as he regarded my arrival as a good omen for the cause which -he was defending; while on the other hand, in the rapid succession of -events, he had come into contact with elements about which no -conclusion could shape itself to his complete satisfaction. I found -Bakunin's outlook undisturbed, and his attitude firm and quiet. He did -not show the smallest change in his appearance, in spite of having had -no sleep during the whole time, which I afterwards heard was a fact. -With a cigar in his mouth he received me, seated on one of the -mattresses which lay distributed over the floor of the Town Hall. At -his side was a very young Pole (a Galician) named Haimberger, a -violinist whom he had once asked me to recommend to Lipinsky, in order -that he might give him lessons, as he did not want this raw and -inexperienced boy, who had become passionately attached to him, to get -drawn into the vortex of the present upheavals. Now that Haimberger had -shouldered a gun, and presented himself for service at the barricades, -however, Bakunin had greeted him none the less joyfully. He had drawn -him down to sit by his side on the couch, and every time the youth -shuddered with fear at the violent sound of the cannon-shot, he slapped -him vigorously on the back and cried out: 'You are not in the company -of your fiddle here, my friend. What a pity you didn't stay where you -were!' Bakinin then gave me a short and precise account of what had -happened since I had left him on the previous morning. The retreat -which had then been decided upon soon proved unadvisable, as it would -have discouraged the numerous reinforcements which had already arrived -on that day. Moreover, the desire for fighting had been so great, and -the force of the defenders so considerable, that it had been possible -to oppose the enemy's troops successfully so far. But as the latter had -also got large reinforcements, they again had been able to make an -effective combined attack on the strong Wildstruf barricade. The -Prussian troops had avoided fighting in the streets, choosing instead -the method of fighting from house to house by breaking through the -walls. This had made it clear that all defence by barricades had become -useless, and that the enemy would succeed slowly but surely in drawing -near the Town Hall, the seat of the provisional government. Bakunin had -now proposed that all the powder stores should be brought together in -the lower rooms of the Town Hall, and that on the approach of the enemy -it should be blown up. The town council, who were still in consultation -in a back room, had remonstrated with the greatest vehemence. Bakunin, -however, had insisted with great firmness on the execution of the -measure, but in the end had been completely outwitted by the removal of -all the powder stores. Moreover, Heubner, to whom Bakunin could refuse -nothing, had been won over to the other side. It was now decided that -as everything was ready, the retreat to the Erzgebirge, which had -originally been intended for the previous day, should be fixed for the -early morrow. Young Zichlinsky had already received orders to cover the -road to Plauen so as to make it strategically safe. When I inquired -after Rockel, Bakunin replied swiftly that he had not been seen since -the previous evening, and that he had most likely allowed himself to be -caught: he was in such a nervous state. I now gave an account of what I -had observed on my way to and from Chemnitz, describing the great -masses of reinforcements, amongst which was the communal guard of that -place, several thousands strong. In Freiberg I had met four hundred -reservists, who had come in excellent form to back the citizen army, -but could not proceed further, as they were tired out by their forced -march. It seemed obvious that this was a case in which the necessary -energy to requisition wagons had been lacking, and that if the bounds -of loyalty were transgressed in this matter, the advent of fresh forces -would be considerably promoted. I was begged to make my way back at -once, and convey the opinion of the provisional government to the -people whose acquaintance I had made. My old friend Marschall von -Bieberstein immediately proposed to accompany me. I welcomed his offer, -as he was an officer of the provisional government, and was -consequently more fitted than I was to communicate orders. This man, -who had been almost extravagant in his enthusiasm before, was now -utterly exhausted by sleeplessness, and unable to emit another word -from his hoarse throat. He now made his way with me from the Town Hall -to his house in the suburb of Plauen by the devious ways that had been -indicated to us, in order to requisition a carriage for our purpose -from a coachman he knew, and to bid farewell to his family, from whom -he assumed he would in all probability have to separate himself for -some time. - -While we were waiting for the coachman we had tea and supper, talking -the while, in a fairly calm and composed manner, with the ladies of the -house. We arrived at Freiberg early the following morning, after -various adventures, and I set out forthwith to find the leaders of the -reservist contingent with whom I was already acquainted. Marschall -advised them to requisition horses and carts in the villages wherever -they could do so. When they had all set off in marching order for -Dresden, and while I was feeling impelled by my passionate interest in -the fate of that city to return to it once more, Marschall conceived -the desire to carry his commission further afield, and for this purpose -asked to be allowed to leave me. Whereupon I again turned my back on -the heights of the Erzgebirge, and was travelling by special coach in -the direction of Tharand, when I too was overcome with sleep, and was -only awakened by violent shouts and the sound of some one holding a -parley with the postillion. On opening my eyes I found, to my -astonishment, that the road was filled with armed revolutionaries -marching, not towards, but away from Dresden, and some of them were -trying to commandeer the coach to relieve their weariness on the way -back. - -'What is the matter?' I cried. 'Where are you going?' - -'Home,' was the reply. 'It is all over in Dresden. The provincial -government is close behind us in that carriage down there.' - -I shot out of the coach like a dart, leaving it at the disposal of the -tired men, and hurried on, down the steeply sloping road, to meet the -ill-fated party. And there I actually found them--Heubner, Bakunin, and -Martin, the energetic post-office clerk, the two latter armed with -muskets--in a smart hired carriage from Dresden which was coming slowly -up the hill. On the box were, as I supposed, the secretaries, while as -many as possible of the weary National Guard struggled for seats -behind. I hastened to swing myself into the coach, and so came in for a -conversation which thereupon took place between the driver, who was -also the owner of the coach, and the provisional government. The man -was imploring them to spare his carriage, which, he said, was very -lightly sprung and quite unequal to carrying such a load; he begged -that the people should be told not to seat themselves behind and in -front. But Bakunin remained quite unconcerned, and elected to give me a -short account of the retreat from Dresden, which had been successfully -achieved without loss. He had had the trees in the newly planted -Maximilian Avenue felled early in the morning to form a barricade -against a possible flank attack of cavalry, and had been immensely -entertained by the lamentations of the inhabitants, who during the -process did nothing but bewail their Scheene Beeme. [FOOTNOTE: Saxon -corruption of schtine Bourne, beautiful trees.--EDITOR.] All this time -our driver's lamentations over his coach were growing more importunate. -Finally he broke into loud sobs and tears, upon which Bakunin, -regarding him with positive pleasure, called out: 'The tears of a -Philistine are nectar for the gods.' He would not vouchsafe him a word, -but Heubner and I found the scene tiresome, whereupon he asked me -whether we two at least should not get out, as he could not ask it of -the others. As a matter of fact, it was high time to leave the coach, -as some new contingents of revolutionaries had formed up in rank and -file all along the highway to salute the provisional government and -receive orders. Heubner strode down the line with great dignity, -acquainted the leaders with the state of affairs, and exhorted them to -keep their trust in the righteousness of the cause for which so many -had shed their blood. All were now to retire to Freiberg, there to -await further orders. - -A youngish man of serious mien now stepped forward from the ranks of -the rebels to place himself under the special protection of the -provisional government. He was a certain Menzdorff, a German Catholic -priest whom I had had the advantage of meeting in Dresden. (It was he -who, in the course of a significant conversation, had first induced me -to read Feuerbach.) He had been dragged along as a prisoner and -abominably treated by the Chemnitz municipal guard on this particular -march, having originally been the instigator of a demonstration to -force that body to take up arms and march to Dresden. He owed his -freedom only to the chance meeting with other better disposed volunteer -corps. We saw this Chemnitz town guard ourselves, stationed far away on -a hill. They sent representatives to beseech Heubner to tell them how -things stood. When they had received the information required, and had -been told that the fight would be continued in a determined manner, -they invited the provisional government to quarter at Chemnitz. As soon -as they rejoined their main body we saw them wheel round and turn back. - -With many similar interruptions the somewhat disorganised procession -reached Freiberg. Here some friends of Heubner's came to meet him in -the streets with the urgent request not to plunge their native place -into the misery of desperate street-fighting by establishing the -provisional government there. Heubner made no reply to this, but -requested Bakunin and myself to accompany him into his house for a -consultation. First we had to witness the painful meeting between -Heubner and his wife; in a few words he pointed out the gravity and -importance of the task assigned to him, reminding her that it was for -Germany and the high destiny of his country that he was staking his -life. - -Breakfast was then prepared, and after the meal, during which a fairly -cheerful mood prevailed, Heubner made a short speech to Bakunin, -speaking quietly but firmly. 'My dear Bakunin,' he said (his previous -acquaintance with Bakunin was so slight that he did not even know how -to pronounce his name), 'before we decide anything further, I must ask -you to state clearly whether your political aim is really the Red -Republic, of which they tell me you are a partisan. Tell me frankly, so -that I may know if I can rely on your friendship in the future?' - -Bakunin explained briefly that he had no scheme for any political form -of government, and would not risk his life for any of them. As for his -own far-reaching desires and hopes, they had nothing whatever to do -with the street-fighting in Dresden and all that this implied for -Germany. He had looked upon the rising in Dresden as a foolish, -ludicrous movement until he realised the effect of Heubner's noble and -courageous example. From that moment every political consideration and -aim had been put in the background by his sympathy with this heroic -attitude, and he had immediately resolved to assist this excellent man -with all the devotion and energy of a friend. He knew, of course, that -he belonged to the so-called moderate party, of whose political future -he was not able to form an opinion, as he had not profited much by his -opportunities of studying the position of the various parties in -Germany. - -Heubner declared himself satisfied by this reply, and proceeded to ask -Bakunin's opinion of the present state of things--whether it would not -be conscientious and reasonable to dismiss the men and give up a -struggle which might be considered hopeless. In reply Bakunin insisted, -with his usual calm assurance, that whoever else threw up the sponge, -Heubner must certainly not do so. He had been the first member of the -provisional government, and it was he who had given the call to arms. -The call had been obeyed, and hundreds of lives had been sacrificed; to -scatter the people again would look as if these sacrifices had been -made to idle folly. Even if they were the only two left, they still -ought not to forsake their posts. If they went under their lives might -be forfeit, but their honour must remain unsullied, so that a similar -appeal in the future might not drive every one to despair. - -This was quite enough for Heubner. He at once made out a summons for -the election of a representative assembly for Saxony, to be held at -Chemnitz. He thought that, with the assistance of the populace and of -the numerous insurgent bands who were arriving from all quarters, he -would be able to hold the town as the headquarters of a provisional -government until the general situation in Germany had become more -settled. In the midst of these discussions, Stephan Born walked into -the room to report that he had brought the armed bands right into -Freiberg, in good order and without any losses. This young man was a -compositor who had contributed greatly to Heubner's peace of mind -during the last three days in Dresden by taking over the chief command. -His simplicity of manner made a very encouraging impression on us, -particularly when we heard his report. When, however, Heubner asked -whether he would undertake to defend Freiberg against the troops which -might be expected to attack at any moment, he declared that this was an -experienced officer's job, and that he himself was no soldier and knew -nothing of strategy. Under these circumstances it seemed better, if -only to gain time, to fall back on the more thickly populated town of -Chemnitz. The first thing to be done, however, was to see that the -revolutionaries, who were assembled in large numbers at Freiberg, were -properly cared for, and Born went off immediately to make preliminary -arrangements. Heubner also took leave of us, and went to refresh his -tired brain by an hour's sleep. I was left alone on the sofa with -Bakunin, who soon fell towards me, overcome by irresistible drowsiness, -and dropped the terrific weight of his head on to my shoulder. As I saw -that he would not wake if I shook off this burden, I pushed him aside -with some difficulty, and took leave both of the sleeper and of -Heubner's house; for I wished to see for myself, as I had done for many -days past, what course these extraordinary events were taking. I -therefore went to the Town Hall, where I found the townspeople -entertaining to the best of their ability a blustering horde of excited -revolutionaries both within and without the walls. To my surprise, I -found Heubner there in the full swing of work. I thought he was asleep -at home, but the idea of leaving the people even for an hour without a -counsellor had driven away all thought of rest. He had lost no time in -superintending the organisation of a sort of commandant's office, and -was again occupied with drafting and signing documents in the midst of -the uproar that raged on all sides. It was not long before Bakunin too -put in an appearance, principally in search of a good officer--who was -not, however, forthcoming. The commandant of a large contingent from -the Vogtland, an oldish man, raised Bakunin's hopes by the impassioned -energy of his speeches, and he would have had him appointed -commandant-general on the spot. But it seemed as if any real decision -were impossible in that frenzy and confusion, and as the only hope of -mastering it seemed to be in reaching Chemnitz, Heubner gave the order -to march on towards that town as soon as every one had had food. Once -this was settled, I told my friends I should go on in advance of their -column to Chemnitz, where I should find them again next day; for I -longed to be quit of this chaos. I actually caught the coach, the -departure of which was fixed for that time, and obtained a seat in it. -But the revolutionaries were just marching off on the same road, and we -were told that we must wait until they had passed to avoid being caught -in the whirlpool. This meant considerable delay, and for a long while I -watched the peculiar bearing of the patriots as they marched out. I -noticed in particular a Vogtland regiment, whose marching step was -fairly orthodox, following the beat of a drummer who tried to vary the -monotony of his instrument in an artistic manner by hitting the wooden -frame alternately with the drumhead. The unpleasant rattling tone thus -produced reminded me in ghostly fashion of the rattling of the -skeletons' bones in the dance round the gallows by night which Berlioz -had brought home to my imagination with such terrible realism in his -performance of the last movement of his Sinfonie Fantastique in Paris. - -Suddenly the desire seized me to look up the friends I had left behind, -and travel to Chemnitz in their company if possible. I found they had -quitted the Town Hall, and on reaching Heubner's house I was told that -he was asleep. I therefore went back to the coach, which, however, was -still putting off its departure, as the road was blocked with troops. I -walked nervously up and down for some time, then, losing faith in the -journey by coach, I went back again to Heubner's house to offer myself -definitely as a travelling companion. But Heubner and Bakunin had -already left home, and I could find no traces of them. In desperation I -returned once more to the coach, and found it by this time really ready -to start. After various delays and adventures it brought me late at -night to Chemnitz, where I got out and betook myself to the nearest -inn. At five o'clock the next morning I got up (after a few hours' -sleep) and set out to find my brother-in-law Wolfram's house, which was -about a quarter of an hour's walk from the town. On the way I asked a -sentinel of the town guard whether he knew anything about the arrival -of the provisional government. - -'Provisional government?' was the reply. 'Why, it's all up with that.' -I did not understand him, nor was I able to learn anything about the -state of things when I first reached the house of my relatives, for my -brother-in-law had been sent into the town as special constable. It was -only on his return home, lute in the afternoon, that I heard what had -taken place in one hotel at Chemnitz while I had been resting in -another inn. Heubner, Bakunin, and the man called Martin, whom I have -mentioned already, had, it seemed, arrived before me in a hackney-coach -at the gates of Chemnitz. On being asked for their names Heubner had -announced himself in a tone of authority, and had bidden the town -councillors come to him at a certain hotel. They had no sooner reached -the hotel than they all three collapsed from excessive fatigue. -Suddenly the police broke into the room and arrested them in the name -of the local government, upon which they only begged to have a few -hours' quiet sleep, pointing out that flight was out of the question in -their present condition. I heard further that they had been removed to -Altenburg under a strong military escort. My brother-in-law was obliged -to confess that the Chemnitz municipal guard, which had been forced to -start for Dresden much against its will, and had resolved at the very -outset to place itself at the disposal of the royal forces on arriving -there, had deceived Heubner by inviting him to Chemnitz, and had lured -him into the trap. They had reached Chemnitz long before Heubner, and -had taken over the guard at the gates with the object of seeing him -arrive and of preparing for his arrest at once. My brother-in-law had -been very anxious about me too, as he had been told in furious tones by -the leaders of the town guard that I had been seen in close association -with the revolutionaries. He thought it a wonderful intervention of -Providence that I had not arrived at Chemnitz with them and gone to the -same inn, in which case their fate would certainly have been mine. The -recollection of my escape from almost certain death in duels with the -most experienced swordsmen in my student days flashed across me like a -flash of lightning. This last terrible experience made such an -impression on me that I was incapable of breathing a word in connection -with what had happened. My brother-in-law, in response to urgent -appeals--from my wife in particular, who was much concerned for my -personal safety--undertook to convey me to Altenburg in his carriage by -night. From there I continued my journey by coach to Weimar, where I -had originally planned to spend my holidays, little thinking that I -should arrive by such devious ways. - -The dreamy unreality of my state of mind at this time is best explained -by the apparent seriousness with which, on meeting Liszt again, I at -once began to discuss what seemed to be the sole topic of any real -interest to him in connection with me--the forthcoming revival of -Tannhauser at Weimar. I found it very difficult to confess to this -friend that I had not left Dresden in the regulation way for a -conductor of the royal opera. To tell the truth, I had a very hazy -conception of the relation in which I stood to the law of my country -(in the narrow sense). Had I done anything criminal in the eye of the -law or not? I found it impossible to come to any conclusion about it. -Meanwhile, alarming news of the terrible conditions in Dresden -continued to pour into Weimar. Genast, the stage manager, in -particular, aroused great excitement by spreading the report that -Rockel, who was well known at Weimar, had been guilty of arson. Liszt -must soon have gathered from my conversation, in which I did not take -the trouble to dissimulate, that I too was suspiciously connected with -these terrible events, though my attitude with regard to them misled -him for some time. For I was not by any means prepared to proclaim -myself a combatant in the recent fights, and that for reasons quite -other than would have seemed valid in the eyes of the law. My friend -was therefore encouraged in his delusion by the unpremeditated effect -of my attitude. When we met at the house of Princess Caroline of -Wittgenstein, to whom I had been introduced the year before when she -paid her flying visit to Dresden, we were able to hold stimulating -conversations on all sorts of artistic topics. One afternoon, for -instance, a lively discussion sprang up from a description I had given -of a tragedy to be entitled Jesus of Nazareth. Liszt maintained a -discreet silence after I had finished, whereas the Princess protested -vigorously against my proposal to bring such a subject on to the stage. -From the lukewarm attempt I made to support the paradoxical theories I -had put forward, I realised the state of my mind at that time. Although -it was not very evident to onlookers, I had been, and still was, shaken -to the very depths of my being by my recent experiences. - -In due course an orchestral rehearsal of Tannhauser took place, which -in various ways stimulated the artist in me afresh. Liszt's conducting, -though mainly concerned with the musical rather than the dramatic side, -filled me for the first time with the flattering warmth of emotion -roused by the consciousness of being understood by another mind in full -sympathy with my own. At the same time I was able, in spite of my -dreamy condition, to observe critically the standard of capacity -exhibited by the singers and their chorus-master. After the rehearsal -I, together with the musical director, Stohr, and Gotze the singer, -accepted Liszt's invitation to a simple dinner, at a different inn from -the one where he lived. I thus had occasion to take alarm at a trait in -his character which was entirely new to me. After being stirred up to a -certain pitch of excitement his mood became positively alarming, and he -almost gnashed his teeth in a passion of fury directed against a -certain section of society which had also aroused my deepest -indignation. I was strongly affected by this strange experience with -this wonderful man, but I was unable to see the association of ideas -which had led to his terrible outburst. I was therefore left in a state -of amazement, while Liszt had to recover during the night from a -violent attack of nerves which his excitement had produced. Another -surprise was in store for me the next morning, when I found my friend -fully equipped for a journey to Karlsruhe--the circumstances which made -it necessary being absolutely incomprehensible to me. Liszt invited -Director Stohr and myself to accompany him as far as Eisenach. On our -way there we were stopped by Beaulieu, the Lord Chamberlain, who wished -to know whether I was prepared to be received by the Grand Duchess of -Weimar, a sister of the Emperor Nicolas, at Eisenach castle. As my -excuse on the score of unsuitable travelling costume was not admitted, -Liszt accepted in my name, and I really met with a surprisingly kind -reception that evening from the Grand Duchess, who chatted with me in -the friendliest way, and introduced me to her chamberlain with all due -ceremony. Liszt maintained afterwards that his noble patroness had been -informed that I should be wanted by the authorities in Dresden within -the next few days, and had therefore hastened to make my personal -acquaintance at once, knowing that it would compromise her too heavily -later on. - -Liszt continued his journey from Eisenach, leaving me to be entertained -and looked after by Stohr and the musical director Kuhmstedt, a -diligent and skilful master of counterpoint with whom I paid my first -visit to the Wartburg, which had not then been restored. I was filled -with strange musings as to my fate when I visited this castle. Here I -was actually on the point of entering, for the first time, the building -which was so full of meaning for me; here, too, I had to tell myself -that the days of my further sojourn in Germany were numbered. And in -fact the news from Dresden, when we returned to Weimar the next day, -was serious indeed. Liszt, on his return on the third day, found a -letter from my wife, who had not dared to write direct to me. She -reported that the police had searched my house in Dresden, to which she -had returned, and that she had, moreover been warned on no account to -allow me to return to that city, as a warrant had been taken out -against me, and I was shortly to be served with a writ and arrested. -Liszt, who was now solely concerned for my personal safety, called in a -friend who had some experience of law, to consider what should be done -to rescue me from the danger that threatened me. Von Watzdorf, the -minister whom I had already visited, had been of opinion that I should, -if required, submit quietly to being taken to Dresden, and that the -journey would be made in a respectable private carriage. On the other -hand, reports which had reached us of the brutal way in which the -Prussian troops in Dresden had gone to work in applying the state of -siege were of so alarming a nature that Liszt and his friends in -council urged my speedy departure from Weimar, where it would be -impossible to protect me. But I insisted on taking leave of my wife, -whose anxiety was great, before leaving Germany, and begged to be -allowed to stay a little longer at least in the neighbourhood of -Weimar. This was taken into consideration, and Professor Siebert -suggested my taking temporary shelter with a friendly steward at the -village of Magdala, which was three hours distant. I drove there the -following morning to introduce myself to this kind steward and -protector as Professor Werder from Berlin, who, with a letter of -recommendation from Professor Siebert, had come to turn his financial -studies to practical account in helping to administer these estates. -Here in rural seclusion I spent three days, entertainment of a peculiar -nature being provided by the meeting of a popular assembly, which -consisted of the remainder of the contingent of revolutionaries which -had marched off towards Dresden and had now returned in disorder. I -listened with curious feelings, amounting almost to contempt, to the -speeches on this occasion, which were of every kind and description. On -the second day of my stay my host's wife came back from Weimar (where -it was market-day) full of a curious tale: the composer of an opera -which was being performed there on that very day had been obliged to -leave Weimar suddenly because the warrant for his arrest had arrived -from Dresden. My host, who had been let into my secret by Professor -Seibert, asked playfully what his name was. As his wife did not seem to -know, he came to her assistance with the suggestion that perhaps it was -Rockel whose name was familiar at Weimar. - -'Yes,' she said, 'Rockel, that was his name, quite right.' - -My host laughed loudly, and said that he would not be so stupid as to -let them catch him, in spite of his opera. - -At last, on 22nd May, my birthday, Minna actually arrived at Magdala. -She had hastened to Weimar on receiving my letter, and had proceeded -from there according to instructions, bent on persuading me at all -costs to flee the country immediately and for good. No attempt to raise -her to the level of my own mood was successful; she persisted in -regarding me as an ill-advised, inconsiderate person who had plunged -both himself and her into the most terrible situation. It had been -arranged that I should meet her the next evening in the house of -Professor Wolff at Jena to take a last farewell. She was to go by way -of Weimar, while I took the footpath from Magdala. I started -accordingly on my walk of about six hours, and came over the plateau -into the little university town (which now received me hospitably for -the first time) at sunset. I found my wife again at the house of -Professor Wolff, who, thanks to Liszt, was already my friend, and with -the addition of a certain Professor Widmann another conference was held -on the subject of my further escape. A writ was actually out against me -for being strongly suspected of participation in the Dresden rising, -and I could not under any circumstances depend on a safe refuge in any -of the German federal states. Liszt insisted on my going to Paris, -where I could find a new field for my work, while Widmann advised me -not to go by the direct route through Frankfort and Baden, as the -rising was still in full swing there, and the police would certainly -exercise praiseworthy vigilance over incoming travellers with -suspicious-looking passports. The way through Bavaria would be the -safest, as all was quiet there again; I could then make for -Switzerland, and the journey to Paris from there could be engineered -without any danger. As I needed a passport for the journey, Professor -Widmann offered me his own, which had been issued at Tubingen and had -not been brought up to date. My wife was quite in despair, and the -parting from her caused me real pain. I set off in the mail-coach and -travelled, without further hindrance, through many towns (amongst them -Rudolstadt, a place full of memories for me) to the Bavarian frontier. -From there I continued my journey by mail-coach straight to Lindau. At -the gates I, together with the other passengers, was asked for my -passport. I passed the night in a state of strange, feverish -excitement, which lasted until the departure of the steamer on Lake -Constance early in the morning. My mind was full of the Swabian -dialect, as spoken by Professor Widmann, with whose passport I was -travelling. I pictured to myself my dealings with the Bavarian police -should I have to converse with them in accordance with the -above-mentioned irregularities in that document. A prey to feverish -unrest, I spent the whole night trying to perfect myself in the Swabian -dialect, but, as I was amused to find, without the smallest success. I -had braced myself to meet the crucial moment early the next morning, -when the policeman came into my room and, not knowing to whom the -passports belonged, gave me three at random to choose from. With joy in -my heart I seized my own, and dismissed the dreaded messenger in the -most friendly way. Once on board the steamer I realised with true -satisfaction that I had now stepped on to Swiss territory. It was a -lovely spring morning; across the broad lake I could gaze at the Alpine -landscape as it spread itself before my eyes. When I stepped on to -Republican soil at Rorschach, I employed the first moments in writing a -few lines home to tell of my safe arrival in Switzerland and my -deliverance from all danger. The coach drive through the pleasant -country of St. Gall to Zurich cheered me up wonderfully, and when I -drove down from Oberstrass into Zurich that evening, the last day in -May, at six o'clock, and saw for the first time the Glarner Alps that -encircle the lake gleaming in the sunset, I at once resolved, though -without being fully conscious of it, to avoid everything that could -prevent my settling here. - -I had been the more willing to accept my friends' suggestion to take -the Swiss route to Paris, as I knew I should find an old acquaintance, -Alexander Muller, at Zurich. I hoped with his help to obtain a passport -to France, as I was anxious not to arrive there as a political refugee. -I had been on very friendly terms with Muller once upon a time at -Wurzburg. He had been settled at Zurich for a long time as a teacher of -music; this I learned from a pupil of his, Wilhelm Baumgartner, who had -called on me in Dresden some years back to bring me a greeting from -this old friend. On that occasion I entrusted the pupil with a copy of -the score of Tannhauser for his master, by way of remembrance, and this -kind attention had not fallen on barren soil: Muller and Baumgartner, -whom I visited forthwith, introduced me at once to Jacob Sulzer and -Franz Hagenbuch, two cantonal secretaries who were the most likely, -among all their good friends, to compass the immediate fulfilment of my -desire. These two people, who had been joined by a few intimates, -received me with such respectful curiosity and sympathy that I felt at -home with them at once. The great assurance and moderation with which -they commented on the persecutions which had overtaken me, as seen from -their usual simple republican standpoint, opened to me a conception of -civil life which seemed to lift me to an entirely new sphere. I felt so -safe and protected here, whereas in my own country I had, without quite -realising it, come to be considered a criminal owing to the peculiar -connection between my disgust at the public attitude towards art and -the general political disturbances. To prepossess the two secretaries -entirely in my favour (one of them, Sulzer, had enjoyed an excellent -classical education), my friends arranged a meeting one evening at -which I was to read my poem on the Death of Siegfried. I am prepared to -swear that I never had more attentive listeners, among men, than on -that evening. The immediate effect of my success was the drawing up of -a fully valid federal passport for the poor German under warrant of -arrest, armed with which I started gaily on my journey to Paris after -quite a short stay at Zurich. From Strassburg, where I was enthralled -by the fascination of the world-famous minster, I travelled towards -Paris by what was then the best means of locomotion, the so-called -malle-poste. I remember a remarkable phenomenon in connection with this -conveyance. Till then the noise of the cannonade and musketry in the -fighting at Dresden had been persistently re-echoing in my ears, -especially in a half-waking condition; now the humming of the wheels, -as we rolled rapidly along the highroad, cast such a spell upon me that -for the whole of the journey I seemed to hear the melody of Freude, -schoner Gotterfunken [Footnote: See note on page 486.] from the Ninth -Symphony being played, as it were, on deep bass instruments. - -From the time of my entering Switzerland till my arrival in Paris my -spirits, which had sunk into a dreamlike apathy, rose gradually to a -level of freedom and comfort that I had never enjoyed before. I felt -like a bird in the air whose destiny is not to founder in a morass; but -soon after my arrival in Paris, in the first week of June, a very -palpable reaction set in. I had had an introduction from Liszt to his -former secretary Belloni, who felt it his duty, in loyalty to the -instructions received, to put me into communication with a literary -man, a certain Gustave Vaisse, with the object of being commissioned to -write an opera libretto for production in Paris. I did not, however, -make the personal acquaintance of Vaisse. The idea did not please me, -and I found sufficient excuse for warding off the negotiations by -saying I was afraid of the epidemic of cholera which was said to be -raging in the city. I was staying in the Rue Notre Dame de Lorette for -the sake of being near Belloni. Through this street funeral -processions, announced by the muffled drum boats of the National Guard, -passed practically every hour. Though the heat was stifling, I was -strictly forbidden to touch water, and was advised to exercise the -greatest precaution with regard to diet in every respect. Besides this -weight of uneasiness on my spirits, the whole outward aspect of Paris, -as it then appeared, had the most depressing effect on me. The motto, -liberte, egalite, fraternite was still to be seen on all the public -buildings and other establishments, but, on the other hand, I was -alarmed at seeing the first garcons caissiers making their way from the -bank with their long money-sacks over their shoulders and their large -portfolios in their hands. I had never met them so frequently as now, -just when the old capitalist regime, after its triumphant struggle -against the once dreaded socialist propaganda, was exerting itself -vigorously to regain the public confidence by its almost insulting -pomp. I had gone, as it were, mechanically into Schlesinger's -music-shop, where a successor was now installed--a much more pronounced -type of Jew named Brandus, of a very dirty appearance. The only person -there to give me a friendly welcome was the old clerk, Monsieur Henri. -After I had talked to him in loud tones for some time, as the shop was -apparently empty, he at length asked me with some embarrassment whether -I had not seen my master (votre maitre) Meyerbeer. - -'Is Monsieur Meyerbeer here?' I asked. - -'Certainly,' was the even more embarrassed reply; 'quite near, over -there behind the desk.' - -And, sure enough, as I walked across to the desk Meyerbeer came out, -covered with confusion. He smiled and made some excuse about pressing -proof-sheets. He had been hiding there quietly for over ten minutes -since first hearing my voice. I had had enough after my strange -encounter with this apparition. It recalled so many things affecting -myself which reflected suspicion on the man, in particular the -significance of his behaviour towards me in Berlin on the last -occasion. However, as I had now nothing more to do with him, I greeted -him with a certain easy gaiety induced by the regret I felt at seeing -his manifest confusion on becoming cognisant of my arrival in Paris. He -took it for granted that I should again seek my fortune there, and -seemed much surprised when I assured him, on the contrary, that the -idea of having any work there was odious to me. - -'But Liszt published such a brilliant article about you in the Journal -des Debats,' he said. - -'Ah,' I replied, 'it really had not occurred to me that the -enthusiastic devotion of a friend should be regarded as a mutual -speculation.' - -'But the article made a sensation. It is incredible that you should not -seek to make any profit out of it.' - -This offensive meddlesomeness roused me to protest to Meyerbeer with -some violence that I was concerned with anything rather than with the -production of artistic work, particularly just at that time when the -course of events seemed to indicate that the whole world was undergoing -a reaction. - -'But what do you expect to get out of the revolution?' he replied. 'Are -you going to write scores for the barricades?' - -Whereupon I assured him that I was not thinking of writing any scores -at all. We parted, obviously without having arrived at a mutual -understanding. - -In the street I was also stopped by Moritz Schlesinger, who, being -equally under the influence of Liszt's brilliant article, evidently -considered me a perfect prodigy. He too thought I must be counting on -making a hit in Paris, and was sure that I had a very good chance of -doing so. - -'Will you undertake my business?' I asked him. 'I have no money. Do you -really think the performance of an opera by an unknown composer can be -anything but a matter of money?' - -'You are quite right,' said Moritz, and left me on the spot. - -I turned from these disagreeable encounters in the plague-stricken -capital of the world to inquire the fate of my Dresden companions, for -some of those with whom I was intimate had also reached Paris, when I -called on Desplechins, who had painted the scenery for Tannhauser. I -found Semper there, who had, like myself, been deposited in this city. -We met again with no little pleasure, although we could not help -smiling at our grotesque situation. Semper had retired from the battle -when the famous barricade, which he in his capacity of architect kept -under close observation, had been surrounded. (He thought it impossible -for it to be captured.) All the same, he considered that he had exposed -himself quite sufficiently to make it state of siege and were occupying -Dresden. He considered himself lucky as a native of Holstein to be -dependent, not on the German, but on the Danish government for a -passport, as this had helped him to reach Paris without difficulty. -When I expressed my real and heartfelt regret at the turn of affairs -which had torn him from a professional undertaking on which he had just -started--the completion of the Dresden Museum--he refused to take it -too seriously, saying it had given him a great deal of worry. In spite -of our trying situation, it was with Semper that I spent the only -bright hours of my stay in Paris. We were soon joined by another -refugee, young Heine, who had once wished to paint my Lohengrin -scenery. He had no qualms about his future, for his master Desplechins -was willing to give him employment. I alone felt I had been pitched -quite aimlessly into Paris. I had a passionate desire to leave this -cholera-laden, atmosphere, and Belloni offered me an opportunity which -I promptly and joyfully seized. He invited me to follow himself and his -family to a country place near La Ferte-sous-Jouarre, where I could be -refreshed by pure air and absolute quiet, and wait for a change for the -better in my position. I made the short journey to Rueil after another -week in Paris, and took for the time being a poor lodging (one room, -built with recesses) in the house of Monsieur Raphael, a wine merchant, -close by the village mairie where the Belloni family were staying. Here -I waited further developments. During the period when all news from -Germany ceased I tried to occupy myself as far as possible with -reading. After going through Proudhon's writings, and in particular his -De la propriete, in such a manner as to glean comfort for my situation -in curiously divers ways, I entertained myself for a considerable time -with Lamartine's Histoire des Girondins, a most alluring and attractive -work. One day Belloni brought me news of the unfortunate rising in -Paris, which had been attempted on the 13th June by the Republicans -under Ledru-Rollin against the provisional government, which was then -in the full tide of reaction. Great as was the indignation with which -the news was received by my host and the mayor of the place (a relative -of his, at whose table we ate our modest daily meal), it made, on the -whole, little impression on me, as my attention was still fixed in -great agitation on the events which were taking place on the Rhine, and -particularly on the grand-duchy of Baden, which had been made forfeit -to a provisional government. When, however, the news reached me from -this quarter also that the Prussians had succeeded in subduing a -movement which had not at first seemed hopeless, I felt extraordinarily -downcast. - -I was compelled to consider my position carefully, and the necessity of -conquering my difficulties helped to allay the excitement to which I -was a prey. The letters from my Weimar friends, as well as those from -my wife, now brought me completely to my senses. The former expressed -themselves very curtly about my behaviour with regard to recent events. -The opinion was, that for the moment there would be nothing for me to -do, and especially not in Dresden, or at the grand-ducal court, 'as one -could not very well knock at battered doors'; 'on ne frappe pas a des -portes enfoncees' (Princess von Wittgenstein to Belloni). - -I did not know what to reply, for I had never dreamt of expecting -anything to come from their intervening on my behalf in that quarter; -consequently I was quite satisfied that they sent me temporarily -financial assistance. With this money I made up my mind to leave for -Zurich and ask Alex Muller to give me shelter for a while, as his house -was sufficiently large to accommodate a guest. My saddest moment came -when, after a long silence, I at last received a letter from my wife. -She wrote that she could not dream of living with me again; that after -I had so unscrupulously thrown away a connection and position, the like -of which would never again present itself to me, no woman could -reasonably be expected to take any further interest in my future -enterprises. - -I fully appreciated my wife's unfortunate position; I could in no way -assist her, except by advising her to sell our Dresden furniture, and -by making an appeal on her behalf to my relatives in Leipzig. - -Until then I had been able to think more lightly of the misery of her -position, simply because I had imagined her to be more deeply in -sympathy with what agitated me. Often during the recent extraordinary -events I had even believed that she understood my feelings. Now, -however, she had disillusioned me on this point: she could see in me no -more than what the public saw, and the one redeeming point of her -severe judgment was that she excused my behaviour on the score that I -was reckless. After I had begged Liszt to do what he could for my wife, -I soon began to regard her unexpected behaviour with more equanimity. -In reply to her announcement that she would not write to me again for -the present, I said that I had also resolved to spare her all further -anxiety about my very doubtful fate, by ceasing from communicating with -her. I surveyed the panorama of our long years of association -critically in my mind's eye, beginning with that first stormy year of -our married life, that had been so full of sorrow. Our youthful days of -worry and care in Paris had undoubtedly been of benefit to us both. The -courage and patience with which she had faced our difficulties, while I -on my part had tried to end them by dint of hard work, had linked us -together with bonds of iron. Minna was rewarded for all these -privations by Dresden successes, and more especially by the highly -enviable position I had held there. Her position as wife of the -conductor (Frau Kapellmeisterin) had brought her the fulfilment of her -dearest wishes, and all those things which conspired to make my work in -this official post so intolerable to me, were to her no more than so -many threats directed against her smug content. The course I had -adopted with regard to Tannhauser had already made her doubtful of my -success at the theatres, and had robbed her of all courage and -confidence in our future. The more I deviated from the path which she -regarded as the only profitable one, due partly to the change of my -views (which I grew ever less willing to communicate to her), and -partly to the modification in my attitude towards the stage, the more -she retreated from that position of close fellowship with me which she -had enjoyed in former years, and which she thought herself justified in -connecting in some way with my successes. - -She looked upon my conduct with regard to the Dresden catastrophe as -the outcome of this deviation from the right path, and attributed it to -the influence of unscrupulous persons (particularly the unfortunate -Rockel), who were supposed to have dragged me with them to ruin, by -appealing to my vanity. Deeper than all these disagreements, however, -which, after all, were concerned only with external circumstances, was -the consciousness of our fundamental incompatibility, which to me had -become ever more and more apparent since the day of our reconciliation. -From the very beginning we had had scenes of the most violent -description: never once after these frequent quarrels had she admitted -herself in the wrong or tried to be friends again. - -The necessity of speedily restoring our domestic peace, as well as my -conviction (confirmed by every one of her extravagant outbursts) that, -in view of the great disparity of our characters and especially of our -educations, it devolved upon me to prevent such scenes by observing -great caution in my behaviour, always led me to take the entire blame -for what had happened upon myself, and to mollify Minna by showing her -that I was sorry. Unfortunately, and to my intense grief, I was forced -to recognise that by acting in this way I lost all my power over her -affections, and especially over her character. Now we stood in a -position in which I could not possibly resort to the same means of -reconciliation, for it would have meant my being inconsistent in all my -views and actions. And then I found myself confronted by such hardness -in the woman whom I had spoilt by my leniency, that it was out of the -question to expect her to acknowledge the injustice done to myself. -Suffice it to say that the wreck of my married life had contributed not -inconsiderably to the ruin of my position in Dresden, and to the -careless manner in which I treated it, for instead of finding help, -strength, and consolation at home, I found my wife unwittingly -conspiring against me, in league with all the other hostile -circumstances which then beset me. After I had got over the first shock -of her heartless behaviour, I was absolutely clear about this. I -remember that I did not suffer any great sorrow, but that on the -contrary, with the conviction of being now quite helpless, an almost -exalted calm came over me when I realised that up to the present my -life had been built on a foundation of sand and nothing more. At all -events, the fact that I stood absolutely alone did much towards -restoring my peace of mind, and in my distress I now found strength and -comfort even in the fact of my dire poverty. At last assistance arrived -from Weimar. I accepted it eagerly, and it was the means of extricating -me from my present useless life and stranded hopes. - -My next move was to find a place of refuge--one, however, which had but -little attraction for me, seeing that in it there was not the slightest -hope of my being able to make any further headway in the paths along -which I had hitherto progressed. This refuge was Zurich, a town devoid -of all art in the public sense, and where for the first time I met -simple-hearted people who knew nothing about me as a musician, but who, -as it appeared, felt drawn towards me by the power of my personality -alone. I arrived at Muller's house and asked him to let me have a room, -at the same time giving him what remained of my capital, namely twenty -francs. I quickly discovered that my old friend was embarrassed by my -perfectly open confidence in him, and that he was at his wit's end to -know what to do with me. I soon gave up the large room containing a -grand piano, which he had allotted to me on the impulse of the moment, -and retired to a modest little bedroom. The meals were my great trial, -not because I was fastidious, but because I could not digest thorn. -Outside my friend's house, on the contrary, I enjoyed what, considering -the habits of the locality, was the most luxurious reception. The same -young men who had been so kind to me on my first journey through Zurich -again showed themselves anxious to be continually in my company, and -this was especially the case with one young fellow called Jakob Sulzer. -He had to be thirty years of age before he was entitled to become a -member of the Zurich government, and he therefore still had several -years to wait. In spite of his youth, however, the impression he made -on all those with whom he came in contact was that of a man of riper -years, whose character was formed. When I was asked long afterwards -whether I had ever met a man who, morally speaking, was the beau-ideal -of real character and uprightness, I could, on reflection, think of -none other than this newly gained friend, Jakob Sulzer. - -He owed his early appointment as permanent Cantonal Secretary -(Staatsschreiber), one of the most excellent government posts in the -canton of Zurich, to the recently returned liberal party, led by Alfred -Escher. As this party could not employ the more experienced members of -the older conservative side in the public offices, their policy was to -choose exceptionally gifted young men for these positions. Sulzer -showed extraordinary promise, and their choice accordingly soon lighted -on him. He had only just returned from the Berlin and Bonn universities -with the intention of establishing himself as professor of philology at -the university in his native town, when he was made a member of the new -government. To fit himself for his post he had to stay in Geneva for -six months to perfect himself in the French language, which he had -neglected during his philological studies. He was quick-witted and -industrious, as well as independent and firm, and he never allowed -himself to be swayed by any party tactics. Consequently he rose very -rapidly to high positions in the government, to which he rendered -valuable and important services, first as Minister of Finance, a post -he held for many years, and later with particular distinction as member -of the School Federation. His unexpected acquaintance with me seemed to -place him in a sort of dilemma; from the philological and classical -studies which he had entered upon of his own choice, he suddenly found -himself torn away in the most bewildering manner by this unexpected -summons from the government. It almost seemed as if his meeting with me -had made him regret having accepted the appointment. As he was a person -of great culture, my poem, Siegfried's Death, naturally revealed to him -my knowledge of German antiquity. He had also studied this subject, but -with greater philological accuracy than I could possibly have aspired -to. When, later on, he became acquainted with my manner of writing -music, this peculiarly serious and reserved man became so thoroughly -interested in my sphere of art, so far removed from his own field of -labour, that, as he himself confessed, he felt it his duty to fight -against these disturbing influences by being intentionally brusque and -curt with me. In the beginning of my stay in Zurich, however, he -delighted in being led some distance astray in the realms of art. The -old-fashioned official residence of the first Cantonal Secretary was -often the scene of unique gatherings, composed of people such as I -would be sure to attract. It might even be said that these social -functions occurred rather more frequently than was advisable for the -reputation of a civil servant of this little philistine state. What -attracted the musician Baumgartner more particularly to these meetings -was the product of Sulzer's vineyards in Winterthur, to which our hosts -treated his guests with the greatest liberality. When in my moods of -mad exuberance I gave vent in dithyrambic effusions to my most extreme -views on art and life, my listeners often responded in a manner which, -more often than not, I was perfectly right in ascribing to the effects -of the wine rather than to the power of my enthusiasm. Once when -Professor Ettmuller, the Germanist and Edda scholar, had been invited -to listen to a reading of my Siegfried and had been led home in a state -of melancholy enthusiasm, there was a regular outburst of wanton -spirits among those who had remained behind. I conceived the absurd -idea of lifting all the doors of the state official's house off their -hinges. - -Herr Hagenbuch, another servant of the state, seeing what exertion this -cost me, offered me the help of his gigantic physique, and with -comparative ease we succeeded in removing every single door, and laying -it aside, a proceeding at which Sulzer merely smiled good-naturedly. -The next day, however, when we made inquiries, he told us that the -replacing of those doors (which must have been a terrible strain on his -delicate constitution) had taken him the whole night, as he had made up -his mind to keep the knowledge of our orgies from the sergeant, who -always arrived at a very early hour in the morning. - -The extraordinary birdlike freedom of my existence had the effect of -exciting me more and more. I was often frightened at the excessive -outbursts of exaltation to which I was prone--no matter whom I was -with--and which led me to indulge in the most extraordinary paradoxes -in my conversation. Soon after I had settled in Zurich I began to write -down my various ideas about things at which I had arrived through my -private and artistic experiences, as well as through the influence of -the political unrest of the day. As I had no choice but to try, to the -best of my ability, to earn something by my pen, I thought of sending a -series of articles to a great French journal such as the National, -which in those days was still extant. In these articles I meant to -propound my ideas (in my revolutionary way) on the subject of modern -art in its relation to society. I sent six of them to an elderly friend -of mine, Albert Franck, requesting him to have them translated into -French and to get them published. This Franck was the brother of the -better-known Hermann Franck, now the head of the Franco-German -bookselling firm, which had originally belonged to my brother-in-law, -Avenarius. He sent me back my work with the very natural remark that it -was out of the question to expect the Parisian public to understand or -appreciate my articles, especially at such a critical moment. - -I headed the manuscript Kunst und Revolution ('Art and Revolution') and -sent it to Otto Wigand in Leipzig, who actually undertook to publish it -in the form of a pamphlet, and sent me five louis d'or for it. This -unexpected success induced me to continue to exploit my literary gifts. -I looked among my papers for the essay I had written the year before as -the outcome of my historical studies of the 'Nibelungen' legend; I gave -it the title of Die Nibelungen Weltgeschichte aus der Sage, and again -tried my luck by sending it to Wigand. - -The sensational title of Kunst und Revolution, as well as the notoriety -the 'royal conductor' had gained as a political refugee, had made the -radical publisher hope that the scandal that would arise on the -publication of my articles would redound to his benefit! I soon -discovered that he was on the point of issuing a second edition of -Kunst und Revolution, without, however, informing me of the fact. He -also took over my new pamphlet for another five louis d'or. This was -the first time I had earned money by means of published work, and I now -began to believe that I had reached that point when I should be able to -get the better of my misfortunes. I thought it over, and decided to -give public lectures in Zurich on subjects related to my writings -during the coming winter, hoping in that free and haphazard fashion to -keep body and soul together for a little while, although I had no fixed -appointment and did not intend to work at music. - -It seemed necessary for me to resort to these means, as I did not know -how otherwise to keep myself alive. Shortly after my arrival in Zurich -I had witnessed the coming of the fragments of the Baden army, -dispersed over Swiss territory, and accompanied by fugitive volunteers, -and this had made a painful and uncanny impression upon me. The news of -the surrender near Villagos by Gorgey paralysed the last hopes as to -the issue of the great European struggle for liberty, which so far had -been left quite undecided. With some misgiving and anxiety I now turned -my eyes from all these occurrences in the outside world inwards to my -own soul. - -I was accustomed to patronise the cafe litteraire, where I took my -coffee after my heavy mid-day meal, in a smoky atmosphere surrounded by -a merry and joking throng of men playing dominoes and 'fast.' One day I -stared at its common wall-paper representing antique subjects, which in -some inexplicable way recalled a certain water-colour by Genelli to my -mind, portraying 'The education of Dionysos by the Muses.' I had seen -it at the house of my brother-in-law Brockhaus in my young days, and it -had made a deep impression on me at the time. At this same place I -conceived the first ideas of my Kunstwerk der Zukunft ('The Art-Work of -the Future'), and it seemed a significant omen to me to be roused one -day out of one of my post-prandial dreams by the news that -Schroder-Devrient was staying in Zurich. I immediately got up with the -intention of calling on her at the neighbouring hotel, 'Zum Schwerte,' -but to my great dismay heard that she had just left by steamer. I never -saw her again, and long afterwards only heard of her painful death from -my wife, who in later years became fairly intimate with her in Dresden. - -After I had spent two remarkable summer months in this wild and -extraordinary fashion, I at last received reassuring news of Minna, who -had remained in Dresden. Although her manner of taking leave of me had -been both harsh and wounding, I could not bring myself to believe I had -completely parted from her. In a letter I wrote to one of her -relations, and which I presumed they would forward, I made sympathetic -inquiries about her, while I had already done all that lay in my power, -through repeated appeals to Liszt, to ensure her being well cared for. -I now received a direct reply, which, in addition to the fact that it -testified to the vigour and activity with which she had fought her -difficulties, at the same time showed me that she earnestly desired to -be reunited with me. It was almost in terms of contempt that she -expressed her grave doubts as to the possibility of my being able to -make a living in Zurich, but she added that, inasmuch as she was my -wife, she wished to give me another chance. She also seemed to take it -for granted that I intended making Zurich only our temporary home, and -that I would do my utmost to promote my career as a composer of opera -in Paris. Whereupon she announced her intention of arriving at -Rorschach in Switzerland on a certain date in September of that year, -in the company of the little dog Peps, the parrot Papo, and her -so-called sister Nathalie. After having engaged two rooms for our new -home, I now prepared to set out on foot for St. Gall and Rorschach -through the lovely and celebrated Toggenburg and Appenzell, and felt -very touched after all when the peculiar family, which consisted half -of pet animals, landed at the harbour of Rorschach. I must honestly -confess that the little dog and the bird made me very happy. My wife at -once threw cold water on my emotions, however, by declaring that in the -event of my behaving badly again she was ready to return to Dresden any -moment, and that she had numerous friends there, who would be glad to -protect and succour her if she were forced to carry out her threat. Be -this as it may, one look at her convinced me how greatly she had aged -in this short time, and how much I ought to pity her, and this feeling -succeeded in banishing all bitterness from my heart. - -I did my utmost to give her confidence and to make her believe that our -present misfortunes were but momentary. This was no easy task, as she -would constantly compare the diminutive aspect of the town of Zurich -with the more noble majesty of Dresden, and seemed to feel bitterly -humiliated. The friends whom I introduced to her found no favour in her -eyes. She looked upon the Cantonal Secretary, Sulzer, as a 'mere town -clerk who would not be of any importance in. Germany'; and the wife of -my host Muller absolutely disgusted her when, in answer to Minna's -complaints about my terrible position, she replied that my greatness -lay in the very fact of my having faced it. Then again Minna appeased -me by tolling me of the expected arrival of some of my Dresden -belongings, which she thought would be indispensable to our new home. - -The property of which she spoke consisted of a Breitkopf and Hartel -grand-piano that looked better than it sounded, and of the 'title-page' -of the Nibelungen by Cornelius in a Gothic frame that used to hang over -my desk in Dresden. - -With this nucleus of household effects we now decided to take small -lodgings in the so-called 'hinteren Escherhausern' in the Zeltweg. With -great cleverness Minna had succeeded in selling the Dresden furniture -to advantage, and out of the proceeds of this sale she had brought -three hundred marks with her to Zurich to help towards setting up our -new home. She told me that she had saved my small but very select -library for me by giving it into the safe custody of the publisher, -Heinrich Brockhaus (brother of my sister's husband and member of the -Saxon Diet), who had insisted upon looking after it. Great, therefore, -was her dismay when, upon asking this kind friend to send her the -books, he replied that he was holding them as security for a debt of -fifteen hundred marks which I had contracted with him during my days of -trouble in Dresden, and that he intended to keep them until that sum -was returned. As even after the lapse of many years I found it -impossible to refund this money, these books, collected for my own -special wants, were lost to me for ever. - -Thanks more particularly to my friend Sulzer, the Cantonal Secretary, -whom my wife at first despised so much on account of his title which -she misunderstood, and who, although he was far from well-off himself, -thought it only natural that he should help me, however moderately, out -of my difficulties, we soon succeeded in making our little place look -so cosy that my simple Zurich friends felt quite at home in it. My -wife, with all her undeniable talents, hero found ample scope in which -to distinguish herself, and I remember how ingeniously she made a -little what-not out of the box in which she had kindly brought my music -and manuscript to Zurich. - -But it was soon time to think of how to earn enough money to provide -for us all. My idea of giving public lectures was treated with contempt -by my wife, who looked upon it as an insult to her pride. She could -acquiesce only in one plan, that suggested by Liszt, namely, that I -should write an opera for Paris. To satisfy her, and in view of the -fact that I could see no chance of a remunerative occupation close at -hand, I actually reopened a correspondence on this matter with my great -friend and his secretary Belloni in Paris. In the meantime I could not -be idle, so I accepted an invitation from the Zurich musical society to -conduct a classical composition at one of their concerts, and to this -end I worked with their very poor orchestra at Beethoven's Symphony in -A major. Although the result was successful, and I received five -napoleons for my trouble, it made my wife very unhappy, for she could -not forget the excellent orchestra, and the much more appreciative -public, which a short time before in Dresden would have seconded and -rewarded similar efforts on my part. Her one and only ideal for me was -that, by hook or by crook, and with a total disregard of all artistic -scruples, I should make a brilliant reputation for myself in Paris. -While we were both absolutely at a loss to discover whence we should -obtain the necessary funds for our journey to Paris and our sojourn -there, I again plunged into my philosophical study of art, as being the -only sphere still left open to me. - -Harrassed by the cares of a terrible struggle for existence, I wrote -the whole of Das Kunstwerk der Zukunft in the chilly atmosphere of a -sunless little room on the ground floor during the months of November -and December of that year. Minna had no objection to this occupation -when I told her of the success of my first pamphlet, and the hope I had -of receiving even better pay for this more extensive work. - -Thus for a while I enjoyed comparative peace, although in my heart a -spirit of unrest had begun to reign, thanks to my growing acquaintance -with Feuerbach's works. I had always had an inclination to fathom the -depths of philosophy, just as I had been led by the mystic influence of -Beethoven's Ninth Symphony to search the deepest recesses of music. My -first efforts at satisfying this longing had failed. None of the -Leipzig professors had succeeded in fascinating me with their lectures -on fundamental philosophy and logic. I had procured Schelling's work, -Transcendental Idealism, recommended to me by Gustav Schlesinger, a -friend of Laube's, but it was in vain that I racked my brains to try -and make something out of the first pages, and I always returned to my -Ninth Symphony. - -During the latter part of my stay in Dresden I had returned to these -old studies, the longing for which suddenly revived within me, and to -these I added the deeper historical studies which had always fascinated -me. As an introduction to philosophy I now chose Hegel's Philosophy of -History. A good deal of this impressed me deeply, and it now seemed as -if I should ultimately penetrate into the Holy of Holies along this -path. The more incomprehensible many of his speculative conclusions -appeared, the more I felt myself desirous of probing the question of -the 'Absolute' and everything connected therewith to the core. For I so -admired Hegel's powerful mind that it seemed to me he was the very -keystone of all philosophical thought. - -The revolution intervened; the practical tendencies of a social -reconstruction distracted my attention, and as I have already stated, -it was a German Catholic priest and political agitator (formerly a -divinity student named Menzdorff, who used to wear a Calabrian hat) -[Footnote: A broad-rimmed, tall, white felt hat, tapering to a point, -originally worn by the inhabitants of Calabria, and in 1848 a sign of -Republicanism.--EDITOR.] who drew my attention to 'the only real -philosopher of modern times,' Ludwig Feuerbach. My new Zurich friend, -the piano teacher, Wilhelm Baumgartner, made me a present of -Feuerbach's book on Tod und Unsterblichkeit ('Death and Immortality'). -The well-known and stirring lyrical style of the author greatly -fascinated me as a layman. The intricate questions which he propounds -in this book as if they were being discussed for the first time by him, -and which he treats in a charmingly exhaustive manner, had often -occupied my mind since the very first days of my acquaintance with -Lehrs in Paris, just as they occupy the mind of every imaginative and -serious man. With me, however, this was not lasting, and I had -contented myself with the poetic suggestions on these important -subjects which appear here and there in the works of our great poets. - -The frankness with which Feuerbach explains his views on these -interesting questions, in the more mature parts of his book, pleased me -as much by their tragic as by their social-radical tendencies. It -seemed right that the only true immortality should be that of sublime -deeds and great works of art. It was more difficult to sustain any -interest in Das Wesen des Christenthums ('The Essence of Christianity') -by the same author, for it was impossible whilst reading this work not -to become conscious, however involuntarily, of the prolix and unskilful -manner in which he dilates on the simple and fundamental idea, namely, -religion explained from a purely subjective and psychological point of -view. Nevertheless, from that day onward I always regarded Feuerbach as -the ideal exponent of the radical release of the individual from the -thraldom of accepted notions, founded on the belief in authority. The -initiated will therefore not wonder that I dedicated my Kunstwerk der -Zukunft to Feuerbach and addressed its preface to him. - -My friend Sulzer, a thorough disciple of Hegel, was very sorry to see -me so interested in Feuerbach, whom he did not even recognise as a -philosopher at all. He said that the best thing that Feuerbach had done -for me was that he had been the means of awakening my ideas, although -he himself had none. But what had really induced me to attach so much -importance to Feuerbach was the conclusion by means of which he had -seceded from his master Hegel, to wit, that the best philosophy was to -have no philosophy--a theory which greatly simplified what I had -formerly considered a very terrifying study--and secondly, that only -that was real which could be ascertained by the senses. - -The fact that he proclaimed what we call 'spirit' to be an aesthetic -perception of our senses, together with his statement concerning the -futility of philosophy--these were the two things in him which rendered -me such useful assistance in my conceptions of an all-embracing work of -art, of a perfect drama which should appeal to the simplest and most -purely human emotions at the very moment when it approached its -fulfilment as Kunstwerk der Zukunft. It must have been this which -Sulzer had in his mind when he spoke deprecatingly of Feuerbach's -influence over me. At all events, after a while I certainly could not -return to his works, and I remember that his newly published book, Uber -das Wesen der Religion ('Lectures on the Essence of Religion'), scared -me to such an extent by the dullness of its title alone, that when -Herwegh opened it for my benefit, I closed it with a bang under his -very nose. - -At that time I was working with great enthusiasm upon the draft of a -connected essay, and was delighted one day to receive a visit from the -novelist and Tieckian scholar, Eduard von Billow (the father of my -young friend Billow), who was passing through Zurich. In my tiny little -room I read him my chapter on poetry, and could not help noticing that -he was greatly startled at my ideas on literary drama and on the advent -of the new Shakespeare. I thought this all the more reason why Wigand -the publisher should accept my new revolutionary book, and expected him -to pay me a fee which would be in proportion to the greater size of the -work. I asked for twenty louis d'or, and this sum he agreed to pay me. - -The prospect of receiving this amount induced me to carry out the plan, -which need had forced upon me, of travelling to Paris and of trying my -luck there as a composer of opera. This plan had very serious -drawbacks; not only did I hate the idea, but I knew that I was doing an -injustice to myself by believing in the success of my enterprise, for I -felt that I could never seriously throw myself into it heart and soul. -Everything, however, combined to make me try the experiment, and it was -Liszt in particular who, confident of this being my only way to fame, -insisted upon my reopening the negotiations into which Belloni and I -had entered during the previous summer. To show with what earnestness I -tried to consider the chances of carrying out my plan, I drafted out -the plot of the opera, which the French poet would only have to put -into verse, because I never for a moment fancied that it would be -possible for him to think out and write a libretto for which I would -only need to compose the music. I chose for my subject the legend of -Wieland der Schmied, upon which I commented with some stress at the end -of my recently finished Kunstwerk der Zukunft, and the version of which -by Simrock, taken from the Wilkyna legend, had greatly attracted me. - -I sketched out the complete scenario with precise indication of the -dialogue for three acts, and with a heavy heart decided to hand it over -to my Parisian author to be worked out. Liszt thought he saw a means of -making my music known through his relations with Seghers, the musical -director of a society then known as the 'Concerts de St. Cecile.' In -January of the following year the Tannhauser Overture was to be given -under his baton, and it therefore seemed advisable that I should reach -Paris some time before this event. This undertaking, which appeared to -be so difficult owing to my complete lack of funds, was at last -facilitated in a manner quite unexpected. - -I had written home for help, and had appealed to all the old friends I -could think of, but in vain. By the family of my brother Albert in -particular, whose daughter had recently entered upon a brilliant -theatrical career, I was treated in much the same way as one treats an -invalid by whom one dreads to become infected. In contrast to their -harshness I was deeply touched by the devotion of the Ritter family, -who had remained in Dresden; for, apart from my acquaintance with young -Karl, I scarcely knew these people at all. Through the kindness of my -old friend Heine, who had been informed of my position, Frau Julie -Ritter, the venerable mother of the family, had thought it her duty to -place, through a business friend, the sum of fifteen hundred marks at -my disposal. At about the same time I received a letter from Mme. -Laussot, who had called upon me in Dresden the year before, and who now -in the most affecting terms assured me of her continued sympathy. - -These were the first signs of that new phase in my life upon which I -entered from this day forth, and in which I accustomed myself to look -upon the outward circumstances of my existence as being merely -subservient to my will. And by this means I was able to escape from the -hampering narrowness of my home life. - -For the moment the proffered financial assistance was very distasteful -to me, for it seemed to forbid my raising any further objections to the -realisation of the detested Paris schemes. When, however, on the -strength of this favourable change in my affairs, I suggested to my -wife that we might, after all, content ourselves with remaining in -Zurich, she flew into the most violent passion over my weakness and -lack of spirit, and declared that if I did not make up my mind to -achieve something in Paris, she would lose all faith in me. She said, -moreover, that she absolutely refused to be a witness of my misery and -grief as a wretched literary man and insignificant conductor of local -concerts in Zurich. - -We had entered upon the year 1850; I had decided to go to Paris, if -only for the sake of peace, but had to postpone my journey on account -of ill-health. The reaction following upon the terrible excitement of -recent times had not failed to have its effect on my overwrought -nerves, and a state of complete exhaustion had followed. The continual -colds, in spite of which I had been obliged to work in my very -unhealthy room, had at last given rise to alarming symptoms. A certain -weakness of the chest became apparent, and this the doctor (a political -refugee) undertook to cure by the application of pitch plasters. As the -result of this treatment and the irritating effect it had upon my -nerves, I lost my voice completely for a while; whereupon I was told -that I must go away for a change. On going out to buy my ticket for the -journey, I felt so weak and broke out into such terrible perspiration -that I hastened to return to my wife in order to consult her as to the -advisability, in the circumstances, of abandoning the idea of the -expedition altogether. She, however, maintained (and perhaps rightly) -not only that my condition was not dangerous, but that it was to a -large extent due to imagination, and that, once in the right place, I -would soon recover. - -An inexpressible feeling of bitterness stimulated my nerves as in anger -and despair I quickly left the house to buy the confounded ticket for -the journey, and in the beginning of February I actually started on the -road to Paris. I was filled with the most extraordinary feelings, but -the spark of hope which was then kindled in my breast certainly had -nothing whatever to do with the belief that had been imposed upon me -from without, that I was to make a success in Paris as a composer of -operas. - -I was particularly anxious to find quiet rooms, for peace had now -become my first necessity, no matter where I happened to be staying. -The cabman who drove me from street to street through the most isolated -quarters, and whom I at last accused of keeping always to the most -animated parts of the city, finally protested in despair that one did -not come to Paris to live in a convent. At last it occurred to me to -look for what I wanted in one of the cites through which no vehicle -seemed to drive, and I decided to engage rooms in the Cite de Provence. - -True to the plans which had been forced upon me, I at once called on -Herr Seghers about the performance of the Tannhauser Overture. - -It turned out that in spite of my late arrival I had missed nothing, -for they were still racking their brains as to how to procure the -necessary orchestral parts. - -I therefore had to write to Liszt, asking him to order the copies, and -had to wait for their arrival. Belloni was not in town, things were -therefore at a standstill, and I had plenty of time to think over the -object of my visit to Paris, while an unceasing accompaniment was -poured out to my meditations by the barrel-organs which infest the -cites of Paris. - -I had much difficulty in convincing an agent of the government, from -whom I received a visit soon after my arrival, that my presence in -Paris was due to artistic reasons, and not to my doubtful position as a -political refugee. - -Fortunately he was impressed by the score, which I showed him, as well -as by Liszt's article on the Tannhauser Overture, written the year -before in the Journal des Debats, and he left me, politely inviting me -to continue my avocations peacefully and industriously, as the police -had no intention of disturbing me. - -I also looked up my older Parisian acquaintances. At the hospitable -house of Desplechins I met Semper, who was trying to make his position -as tolerable as possible by writing some inferior artistic work. He had -left his family in Dresden, from which town we soon received the most -alarming news. The prisons were gradually filling there with the -unfortunate victims of the recent Saxon movement Of Rockel, Bakunin, -and Heubner, all we could hear was that they had been charged with high -treason, and that they were awaiting the death sentence. - -In view of the tidings which continually arrived concerning the cruelty -and brutality with which the soldiers treated the prisoners, we could -not help considering our own lot a very happy one. - -My intercourse with Semper, whom I saw frequently, was generally -enlivened by a gaiety which was occasionally of rather a risky nature; -he was determined to rejoin his family in London, where the prospect of -various appointments was open to him. My latest attempts at writing, -and the thoughts expressed in my work, interested him greatly, and gave -rise to animated conversations in which we were joined by Kietz, who -was at first amusing, but evidently boring Semper considerably. I found -the former in the identical position in which I had left him many years -ago: he had made no headway with his painting, and would have been glad -if the revolution had taken a more decided turn, so that, under cover -of the general confusion, he might have escaped from his embarrassing -position with his landlord. He made at this time quite a good pastel -portrait of me in his very best and earliest style. While I was sitting -I unfortunately spoke to him about my Das Kunstwerk der Zukunft, and -thereby laid the foundation for him of troubles that lasted many years, -as he tried to instil my new ideas into the Parisian bourgeoisie at -whose tables he had hitherto been a welcome guest. Notwithstanding, he -remained as of old a good, obliging, true-hearted fellow, and even -Semper could not help putting up with him cheerfully. I also looked up -my friend Anders. It was a difficult matter to find him at any hour of -the day, since out of sleeping hours he was closeted in the library, -where he could receive no one, and afterwards retired to the -reading-room to spend his hours of rest, and generally went to dine -with certain bourgeois families where he gave music lessons. He had -aged considerably, but I was glad to find him, comparatively speaking, -in better health than the state in which I had last seen him had -allowed me to hope, as when I left Paris before he had seemed to be in -a decline. Curiously enough, a broken leg had been the means of -improving his health, the treatment necessary for it having taken him -to a hydro, where his condition had much improved. His one idea was to -see me achieve a great success in Paris, and he wished to secure a seat -in advance for the first performance of my opera, which he took for -granted was to appear, and kept repeating that it would be so very -trying for him to occupy a place in any part of the theatre where there -would be likely to be a crush. He could not see the use of my present -literary work; in spite of this I was again engaged on it exclusively, -as I soon ascertained there was no likelihood of my overture to -Tannhauser being produced. Liszt had shown the greatest zeal in -obtaining and forwarding the orchestral parts; but Herr Seghers -informed me that as far as his own orchestra was concerned, he found -himself in a republican democracy where each instrument had an equal -right to voice its opinion, and it had been unanimously decided that -for the remainder of the winter season, which was now drawing to a -close, my overture could be dispensed with. I gathered enough from this -turn of affairs to realise how precarious my position was. - -It is true, the result of my writings was hardly less discouraging. A -copy of the Wigand edition of my Kunstwerk der Zukunft was forwarded to -me full of horrible misprints, and instead of the expected remuneration -of twenty louis d'or, my publisher explained that for the present he -could only pay me half this sum, as, owing to the fact that at first -the sale of the Kunst und Revolution had been very rapid, he had been -led to attach too high a commercial value to my writings, a mistake he -had speedily discovered when he found there was no demand for Die -Nibelungen. - -On the other hand, I received an offer of remunerative work from Adolph -Kolatschek, who was also a fugitive, and was just going to bring out a -German monthly journal as the organ of the progressive party. In -response to this invitation I wrote a long essay on Kunst und Klima -('Art and Climate'), in which I supplemented the ideas I had already -touched upon in my Kunstwerk der Zukunft. Besides this I had, since my -arrival in Paris, worked out a more complete sketch of Wieland der -Schmied. It is true that this work had no longer any value, and I -wondered with apprehension what I could write home to my wife, now that -the last precious remittance had been so aimlessly sacrificed. The -thought of returning to Zurich was as distasteful to me as the prospect -of remaining any longer in Paris. My feelings with regard to the latter -alternative were intensified by the impression made upon me by -Meyerbeer's opera The Prophet, which had just been produced and which I -had not heard before. Rearing itself on the ruins of the hopes for new -and more noble endeavour which had animated the better works of the -past year--the only result of the negotiations of the provisional -French republic for the encouragement of art--I saw this work of -Meyerbeer's break upon the world like the dawn heralding this day of -disgraceful desolation. I was so sickened by this performance, that -though I was unfortunately placed in the centre of the stalls and would -willingly have avoided the disturbance necessarily occasioned by one of -the audience moving during the middle of an act, even this -consideration did not deter me from getting up and leaving the house. -When the famous mother of the prophet finally gives vent to her grief -in the well-known series of ridiculous roulades, I was filled with rage -and despair at the thought that I should be called upon to listen to -such a thing, and never again did I pay the slightest heed to this -opera. - -But what was I to do next? Just as the South American republics had -attracted me during my first miserable sojourn in Paris, so now my -longing was directed towards the East, where I could live my life in a -manner worthy of a human being far away from this modern world. While I -was in this frame of mind I was called upon to answer another inquiry -as to my state of health from Mme. Laussot in Bordeaux. It turned out -that my answer prompted her to send me a kind and pressing invitation -to go and stay at her house, at least for a short time, to rest and -forget my troubles. In any circumstances an excursion to more southerly -regions, which I had not yet seen, and a visit to people who, though -utter strangers, showed such friendly interest in me, could not fail to -prove attractive and flattering. I accepted, settled my affairs in -Paris, and went by coach via Orleans, Tours, and Angouleme, down the -Gironde to the unknown town, where I was received with great courtesy -and cordiality by the young wine merchant Eugene Laussot, and presented -to my sympathetic young friend, his wife. A closer acquaintance with -the family, in which Mrs. Taylor, Mme. Laussot's mother, was now also -included, led to a clearer understanding of the character of the -sympathy bestowed upon me in such a cordial and unexpected manner by -people hitherto unknown to me. Jessie, as the young wife was called at -home, had, during a somewhat lengthy stay in Dresden, become very -intimate with the Ritter family, and I had no reason to doubt the -assurance given me, that the Laussots' interest in me and my work was -principally owing to this intimacy. After my flight from Dresden, as -soon as the news of my difficulties had reached the Ritters, a -correspondence had been carried on between Dresden and Bordeaux with a -view to ascertaining how best to assist me. Jessie attributed the whole -idea to Frau Julie Ritter who, while not being well enough off herself -to make me a sufficient allowance, was endeavouring to come to an -understanding with Jessie's mother, the well-to-do widow of an English -lawyer, whose income entirely supported the young couple in Bordeaux. -This plan had so far succeeded, that shortly after my arrival in -Bordeaux Mrs. Taylor informed me that the two families had combined, -and that it had been decided to ask me to accept the help of three -thousand francs a year until the return of better days. My one object -now was to enlighten my benefactors as to the exact conditions under -which I should be accepting such assistance. I could no longer reckon -upon achieving any success as a composer of opera either in Paris or -elsewhere; what line I should take up instead I did not know; but, at -all events, I was determined to keep myself free from the disgrace -which would reflect upon my whole life if I used such means as this -offer presented to secure success. I feel sure I am not wrong in -believing that Jessie was the only one who understood me, and though I -only experienced kindness from the rest of the family, I soon -discovered the gulf by which she, as well as myself, was separated from -her mother and husband. While the husband, who was a handsome young -man, was away the greater part of the day attending to his business, -and the mother's deafness excluded her to a great extent from our -conversations, we soon discovered by a rapid exchange of ideas that we -shared the same opinions on many important matters, and this led to a -great feeling of friendship between us. Jessie, who was at that time -about twenty-two, bore little resemblance to her mother, and no doubt -took after her father, of whom I heard most flattering accounts. A -large and varied collection of books loft by this man to his daughter -showed his tastes, for besides carrying on his lucrative profession as -a lawyer, he had devoted himself to the study of literature and -science. From him Jessie had also learned German as a child, and she -spoke that language with great fluency. She had been brought up on -Grimm's fairy-tales, and was, moreover, thoroughly acquainted with -German poetry, as well as with that of England and France, and her -knowledge of them was as thorough as the most advanced education could -demand. French literature did not appeal to her much. Her quick powers -of comprehension were astonishing. Everything which I touched upon she -immediately grasped and assimilated. It was the same with music: she -read at sight with the greatest facility, and was an accomplished -player. During her stay in Dresden she had been told that I was still -in search of the pianist who could play Beethoven's great Sonata in B -flat major, and she now astonished me by her finished rendering of this -most difficult piece. The emotion aroused in me by finding such an -exceptionally developed talent suddenly changed to anxiety when I heard -her sing. Her sharp, shrill voice, in which there was strength but no -real depth of feeling, so shocked me that I could not refrain from -begging her to desist from singing in future. With regard to the -execution of the sonata, she listened eagerly to my instructions as to -how it should be interpreted, though I could not feel that she would -succeed in rendering it according to my ideas. I read her my latest -essays, and she seemed to understand even the most extraordinary -descriptions perfectly. My poem on Siegfried's Tod moved her deeply, -but she preferred my sketch of Wieland der Schmied. She admitted -afterwards that she would prefer to imagine herself filling the role of -Wieland's worthy bride than to find herself in the position and forced -to endure the fate of Gutrune in Siegfried. It followed inevitably that -the presence of the other members of the family proved embarrassing -when we wanted to talk over and discuss these various subjects. If we -felt somewhat troubled at having to confess to ourselves that Mrs. -Taylor would certainly never be able to understand why I was being -offered assistance, I was still more disconcerted at realising after a -time the complete want of harmony between the young couple, -particularly from an intellectual point of view. The fact that Laussot -had for some time been well aware of his wife's dislike for him was -plainly shown when he one day so far forgot himself as to complain -loudly and bitterly that she would not even love a child of his if she -had one, and that he therefore thought it fortunate that she was not a -mother. Astonished and saddened, I suddenly gazed into an abyss which -was hidden here, as is often the case, under the appearance of a -tolerably happy married life. About this time, and just as my visit, -which had already lasted three weeks, was drawing to a close, I -received a letter from my wife that could not have had a more -unfortunate effect on my state of mind. She was, on the whole, pleased -at my having found new friends, but at the same time explained that if -I did not immediately return to Paris, and there endeavour to secure -the production of my overture with the results anticipated, she would -not know what to think of me, and would certainly fail to understand me -if I returned to Zurich without having effected my purpose. At the same -time my depression was intensified in a terrible way by a notice in the -papers announcing that Rockel, Bakunin, and Heubner had been sentenced -to death, and that the date of their execution was fixed. I wrote a -short but stirring letter of farewell to the two first, and as I saw no -possibility of having it conveyed to the prisoners, who were confined -in the fortress of Konigstein, I decided to send it to Frau von -Luttichau, to be forwarded to them by her, because I thought she was -the only person in whose power it might lie to do this for me, while at -the same time she had sufficient generosity and independence of mind to -enable her to respect and carry out my wishes, in spite of any possible -difference of opinion she might entertain. I was told some time -afterwards that Luttichau had got hold of the letter and thrown it into -the fire. For the time being this painful impression helped me to the -determination to break with every one and everything, to lose all -desire to learn more of life or of art, and, even at the risk of having -to endure the greatest privations, to trust to chance and put myself -beyond the reach of everybody. The small income settled upon me by my -friends I wished to divide between myself and my wife, and with my half -go to Greece or Asia Minor, and there, Heaven alone knew how, seek to -forget and be forgotten. I communicated this plan to the only -confidante I had left to me, chiefly in order that she might be able to -enlighten my benefactors as to how I intended disposing of the income -they had offered me. She seemed pleased with the idea, and the resolve -to abandon herself to the same fate seemed to her also, in her -resentment against her position, to be quite an easy matter. She -expressed us much by hints and a word dropped here and there. Without -clearly realising what it would lead to, and without coming to any -understanding with her, I left Bordeaux towards the end of April, more -excited than soothed in spirit, and filled with regret and anxiety. I -returned to Paris, for the time being, stunned and full of uncertainty -as to what to do next. Feeling very unwell, exhausted, and at the same -time excited from want of sleep, I reached my destination and put up at -the Hotel Valois, where I remained a week, struggling to gain my -self-control and to face my strange position. Even if I had wished to -resume the plans which had been instrumental in bringing me to Paris, I -soon convinced myself that little or nothing could be done. I was -filled with distress and anger at being called upon to waste my -energies in a direction contrary to my tastes, merely to satisfy the -unreasonable demands made upon me. I was at length obliged to answer my -wife's last pressing communication, and wrote her a long and detailed -letter in which I kindly, but at the same time frankly, retraced the -whole of our life together, and explained that I was fully determined -to set her free from any immediate participation in my fate, as I felt -quite incapable of so arranging it so as to meet with her approval. I -promised her the half of whatever means I should have at my disposal -now or in the future, and told her she must accept this arrangement -with a good grace, because the occasion had now arisen to take that -step of parting from me which, on our first meeting again in -Switzerland, she had declared herself ready to do. I ended my letter -without bidding her a final farewell. I thereupon wrote to Bordeaux -immediately to inform Jessie of the step I had taken, though my means -did not as yet allow of my forming any definite plan which I could -communicate to her for my complete flight from the world. In return she -announced that she was determined to do likewise, and asked for my -protection, under which she intended to place herself when once she had -set herself free. Much alarmed, I did all in my power to make her -realise that it was one thing for a man, placed in such a desperate -situation as myself, to cut himself adrift in the face of -insurmountable difficulties, but quite another matter for a young -woman, at least to all outward appearances, happily settled, to decide -to break up her home, for reasons which probably no one except myself -would be in a position to understand. Regarding the unconventionality -of her resolve in the eyes of the world, she assured me that it would -be carried out as quietly as possible, and that for the present she -merely thought of arranging to visit her friends the Ritters in -Dresden. I felt so upset by all this that I yielded to my craving for -retirement, and sought it at no great distance from Paris. Towards the -middle of April I went to Montmorency, of which I had heard many -agreeable accounts, and there sought a modest hiding-place. With great -difficulty I dragged myself to the outskirts of the little town, where -the country still bore a wintry aspect, and turned into the little -strip of garden belonging to a wine merchant, which was filled with -visitors only on Sundays, and there refreshed myself with some bread -and cheese and a bottle of wine. A crowd of hens surrounded me, and I -kept throwing them pieces of bread, and was touched by the -self-sacrificing abstemiousness with which the cock gave all to his -wives though I aimed particularly at him. They became bolder and -bolder, and finally flew on to the table and attacked my provisions; -the cock flew after them, and noticing that everything was topsy-turvy, -pounced upon the cheese with the eagerness of a craving long -unsatisfied. When I found myself being driven from the table by this -chaos of fluttering wings, I was filled with a gaiety to which I had -long been a stranger. I laughed heartily, and looked round for the -signboard of the inn. I thereby discovered that my host rejoiced in the -name of Homo. This seemed a hint from Fate, and I felt I must seek -shelter here at all costs. An extraordinarily small and narrow bedroom -was shown me, which I immediately engaged. Besides the bed it held a -rough table and two cane-bottomed chairs. I arranged one of these as a -washhand-stand, and on the table I placed some books, writing -materials, and the score of Lohengrin, and almost heaved a sigh of -content in spite of my extremely cramped accommodation. Though the -weather remained uncertain and the woods with their leafless trees did -not seem to offer the prospect of very enticing walks, I still felt -that here there was a possibility of my being forgotten, and being also -in my turn allowed to forget the events that had lately filled me with -Midi desperate anxiety. My old artistic instinct awoke again. I looked -over my Lohengrin score, and quickly decided to send it to Liszt and -leave it to him to bring it out as best he could. Now that I had got -rid of this score also, I felt as free as a bird and as careless as -Diogenes about what might befall me. I even invited Kietz to come and -stay with me and share the pleasures of my retreat. He did actually -come, as he had done during my stay in. Mendon; but he found me even -more modestly installed than I had been there. He was quite prepared to -take pot-luck, however, and cheerfully slept on an improvised bed, -promising to keep the world in touch with me upon his return to Paris. -I was suddenly startled from my state of complacency by the news that -my wife had come to Paris to look me up. I had an hour's painful -struggle with myself to settle the course I should pursue, and decided -not to allow the step I had taken in regard to her to be looked upon as -an ill-considered and excusable vagary. I left Montmorency and betook -myself to Paris, summoned Kietz to my hotel, and instructed him to tell -my wife, who had already been trying to gain admittance to him, that he -knew nothing more of me except that I had left Paris. The poor fellow, -who felt as much pity for Minna as for me, was so utterly bewildered on -this occasion, that he declared that he felt as though he were the axis -upon which all the misery in the world turned. But he apparently -realised the significance and importance of my decision, as it was -necessary he should, and acquitted himself in this delicate matter with -intelligence and good feeling. That night t left Paris by train for -Clermont-Tonnerre, from whence I travelled on to Geneva, there to await -news from Frau Ritter in Dresden. My exhaustion was such that, even had -I possessed the necessary means, I could not as yet have contemplated -undergoing the fatigue of a long journey. By way of gaining time for -further developments I retired to Villeneuve, at the other end of the -Lake of Geneva, where I put up at the Hotel Byron, which was quite -empty at the time. Here I learned that Karl Ritter had arrived in -Zurich, as he said he would, with the intention of paying me a visit. -Impressing upon him the necessity for the strictest secrecy, I invited -him to join me at the Lake of Geneva, and in the second week in May we -met at the Hotel Byron. The characteristic which pleased me in him was -his absolute devotion, his quick comprehension of my position and the -necessity of my resolutions, as well as his readiness to submit without -question to all my arrangements, even where he himself was concerned. -He was full of my latest literary efforts, told me what an impression -they had made on his acquaintances, and thereby induced me to spend the -few days of rest I was enjoying in preparing my poem of Siegfried's Tod -for publication. - -I wrote a short preface dedicating this poem to my friends as a relic -of the time when I had hoped to devote myself entirely to art, and -especially to the composition of music. I sent this manuscript to Herr -Wigand in Leipzig, who returned it to me after some time with the -remark, that if I insisted on its being printed in Latin characters he -would not be able to sell a single copy of it. Later on I discovered -that he deliberately refused to pay me the ten louis d'or due to me for -Das Kunstwerk der Zukunft, which I had directed him to send to my wife. -Disappointing as all this was, I was nevertheless unable to engage in -any further work, as only a few days after Karl's arrival the realities -of life made themselves felt in an unexpected manner, most upsetting to -my tranquillity of mind. I received a wildly excited letter from Mme. -Laussot to tell me that she had not been able to resist telling her -mother of her intentions, that in so doing she had immediately aroused -the suspicion that I was to blame, and in consequence of this her -disclosure had been communicated to M. Laussot, who vowed he would -search everywhere for me in order to put a bullet through my body. The -situation was clear enough, and I decided to go to Bordeaux immediately -in order to come to an understanding with my opponent I at once wrote -fully to M. Eugene, endeavouring to make him see matters in their true -light, but at the same time declared myself incapable of understanding -how a man could bring himself to keep a woman with him by force, when -she no longer wished to remain. I ended by informing him that I should -reach Bordeaux at, the same time as my letter, and immediately upon my -arrival there would let him know at what hotel to find me; also that I -would not tell his wife of the step I was taking, and that he could -consequently act without restraint. I did not conceal from him, what -indeed was the fact, that I was undertaking this journey under great -difficulties, as under the circumstances I considered it impossible to -wait to have my passport endorsed by the French envoy. At the same time -I wrote a few lines to Mme. Laussot, exhorting her to be calm and -self-possessed, but, true to my purpose, refrained from even hinting at -any movement on my part. (When, years afterwards, I told Liszt this -story, he declared I had acted very stupidly in not, telling Mme. -Laussot of my intentions.) I took leave of Karl the same day, in order -to set out next morning from Geneva on my tedious journey across -France. But I was so exhausted by all this that I could not help -thinking I was going to die. That same night I wrote to Frau Ritter in -Dresden, to this effect, giving her a short account of the incredible -difficulties I had been drawn into. As a matter of fact, I suffered -great inconvenience at the French frontier on account of my passport; I -was made to give my exact place of destination, and it was only upon my -assuring them that pressing family affairs required my immediate -presence, that the authorities showed exceptional leniency and allowed -me to proceed. - -I travelled by Lyons through Auvergne by stage-coach for three days and -two nights, till at length I reached Bordeaux. It was the middle of -May, and as I surveyed the town from a height at early dawn I saw it -lit up by a fire that had broken out. I alighted at the Hotel Quatre -Soeurs, and at once sent a note to M. Laussot, informing him that I -held myself at his disposal and would remain in all day to receive him. -It was nine o'clock in the morning when I sent him this message. I -waited in vain for an answer, till at last, late in the afternoon, I -received a summons from the police-station to present myself -immediately. There I was first of all asked whether my passport was in -order. I acknowledged the difficulty I found myself in with regard to -it, and explained that family matters had necessitated my placing -myself in this position. - -I was thereupon informed that precisely this family matter, which had -no doubt brought me there, was the cause of their having to deny me the -permission to remain in Bordeaux any longer. In answer to my question, -they did not conceal the fact that these proceedings against me were -being carried out at the express wish of the family concerned. This -extraordinary revelation immediately restored my good-humour. I asked -the police inspector whether, after such a trying journey, I might not -be allowed a couple of days' rest before returning; this request he -readily granted, and told me that in any case there could be no chance -of my meeting the family in question, as they had left Bordeaux at -mid-day. I used these two days to recover from my fatigue, and also -wrote a letter to Jessie, in which I told her exactly what had taken -place, without concealing my contempt at the behaviour of her husband, -who could expose his wife's honour by a denunciation to the police. I -also added that our friendship could certainly not continue until she -had released herself from so humiliating a position. The next thing was -to get this letter safely delivered. The information furnished me by -the police officials was not sufficient to enlighten me as to what had -exactly taken place in the Laussot family, whether they had left home -for some length of time or merely for a day, so I simply made up my -mind to go to their house. I rang the bell and the door sprang open; -without meeting any one I walked up to the first-floor flat, the door -of which stood open, and went from room to room till I reached Jessie's -boudoir, where I placed my letter in her work-basket and returned the -way I had come. I received no reply, and set out upon my return journey -as soon as the term of rest granted me had expired. The fine May -weather had a cheering effect upon me, and the clear water, as well as -the agreeable name of the Dordogne, along whose banks the post-chaise -travelled for some distance, gave me great pleasure. - -I was also entertained by the conversation of two fellow-travellers, a -priest and an officer, about the necessity of putting an end to the -French Republic. The priest showed himself much more humane and -broad-minded than his military interlocutor, who could only repeat the -one refrain, 'Il faut en finir.' I now had a look at Lyons, and in a -walk round the town tried to recall the scenes in Lamartine's Histoire -des Girondins, where he so vividly describes the siege and surrender of -the town during the period of the Convention Nationale. At last I -arrived at Geneva, and returned to the Byron hotel, where Karl Hitter -was awaiting me. During my absence he had heard from his family, who -wrote very kindly concerning me. His mother had at once reassured him -as to my condition, and pointed out that with people suffering from -nervous disorders the idea of approaching death was a frequent symptom, -and that there was consequently no occasion to feel anxious about me. -She also announced her intention of coming to visit us in Villeneuve -with her daughter Emilie in a few days' time. This news made me take -heart again; this devoted family, so solicitous for my welfare, seemed -sent by Providence to lead me, as I so longed to be led, to a new life. -Both ladies arrived in time to celebrate my thirty-seventh birthday on -the twenty-second of May. The mother, Frau Julie, particularly made a -deep impression upon me. I had only met her once before in Dresden, -when Karl had invited me to be present at the performance of a -quartette of his own composition, given at his mother's house. On this -occasion the respect and devotion shown me by each member of the family -had delighted me. The mother had hardly spoken to me, but when I was -leaving she was moved to tears as she thanked me for my visit. I was -unable to understand her emotion at the time, but now when I reminded -her of it she was surprised, and explained that she had felt so touched -at my unexpected kindness to her son. - -She and her daughter remained with us about a week. We sought diversion -in excursions to the beautiful Valais, but did not succeed in -dispelling Frau Hitter's sadness of heart, caused by the knowledge of -recent events of which she had now been informed, as well as by her -anxiety at the course my life was taking. As I afterwards learned, it -had cost the nervous, delicate woman a great effort to undertake this -journey, and when I urged her to leave her house to come and settle in -Switzerland with her family, so that we might all be united, she at -last pointed out to me that in proposing what seemed to her such an -eccentric undertaking, I was counting upon a strength and energy she no -longer possessed. For the present she commended her son, whom she -wished to leave with me, to my care, and gave me the necessary means to -keep us both for the time being. Regarding the state of her fortune, -she told me that her income was limited, and now that it was impossible -to accept any help from the Laussots, she did not know how she would be -able to come to my assistance sufficiently to assure my independence. -Deeply moved, we took leave of this venerable woman at the end of a -week, and she returned to Dresden with her daughter, and I never saw -her again. - -Still bent upon discovering a means of disappearing from the world, I -thought of choosing a wild mountain spot where I could retire with -Karl. For this purpose we sought the lonely Visper Thal in the canton -Valais, and not without difficulty made our way along the impracticable -roads to Zermatt. There, at the foot of the colossal and beautiful -Matterhorn, we could indeed consider ourselves cut off from the outer -world. I tried to make things as comfortable as I could in this -primitive wilderness, but discovered only too soon that Karl could not -reconcile himself to his surroundings. Even on the second day he owned -that he thought it horrid, and suggested that it would be more pleasant -in the neighbourhood of one of the lakes. We studied the map of -Switzerland, and chose Thun for our next destination. Unfortunately I -again found myself reduced to a state of extreme nervous fatigue, in -which the slightest effort produced a profuse and weakening -perspiration. Only by the greatest strength of will was I able to make -my way out of the valley; but at last we reached Thun, and with renewed -courage engaged a couple of modest but cheerful rooms looking out on to -the road, and proposed to wait and see how we should like it. In spite -of the reserve which still betrayed his shyness of character, I found -conversation with my young friend always pleasant and enlivening. I now -realised the pitch of fluent and overflowing vivacity to which the -young man could attain, particularly at night before retiring to rest, -when he would squat down beside my bed, and in the agreeable, pure -dialect of the German Baltic provinces, give free expression to -whatever had excited his interest. I was exceedingly cheered during -these days by the perusal of the Odyssey, which I had not read for so -long and which had fallen into my hands by chance. Homer's -long-suffering hero, always homesick yet condemned to perpetual -wandering, and always valiantly overcoming all difficulties, was -strangely sympathetic to me. Suddenly the peaceful state I had scarcely -yet entered upon was disturbed by a letter which Karl received from -Mme. Laussot. He did not know whether he ought to show it to me, as he -thought Jessie had gone mad. I tore it out of his hand, and found she -had written to say that she felt obliged to let my friend know that she -had been sufficiently enlightened about me to make her drop my -acquaintance entirely. I afterwards discovered, chiefly through the -help of Frau Ritter, that in consequence of my letter and my arrival in -Bordeaux, M. Laussot, together with Mrs. Taylor, had immediately taken -Jessie to the country, intending to remain there until the news was -received of my departure, to accelerate which he had applied to the -police authorities. While they were away, and without telling her of my -letter and my journey, they had obtained a promise from the young woman -to remain quiet for a year, give up her visit to Dresden, and, above -all, to drop all correspondence with me; since, under these conditions, -she was promised her entire freedom at the end of that time, she had -thought it better to give her word. Not content with this, however, the -two conspirators had immediately set about calumniating me on all -sides, and finally to Mme. Laussot herself, saying that I was the -initiator of this plan of elopement. Mrs. Taylor had written to my wife -complaining of my intention to commit adultery, at the same time -expressing her pity for her and offering her support; the unfortunate -Minna, who now thought she had found a hitherto unsuspected reason for -my resolve to remain separated from her, wrote back complaining of me -to Mrs. Taylor. The meaning of an innocent remark I had once made had -been strangely misinterpreted, and matters wore now aggravated by -making it appear as though I had intentionally lied. In the course of -playful conversation Jessie had once told me that she belonged to no -recognised form of religion, her father Having teen a member of a -certain sect which did not baptise either according to the Protestant -or the Roman Catholic ritual; whereupon I had comforted her by assuring -her that I had come in contact with much more questionable sects, as -shortly after my marriage in Konigsberg I had learned that it had been -solemnised by a hypocrite. God alone knows in what form this had been -repeated to the worthy British matron, but, at all events, she told my -wife that I had said I was 'not legally married to her.' In any case, -my wife's answer to this had no doubt furnished further material with -which to poison Jessie's mind against me, and this letter to my young -friend was the result. I must admit that, seen by this light, the -circumstance at which I felt most indignant was the way my wife had -been treated, and while I was perfectly indifferent as to what the rest -of the party thought of me, I immediately accepted Karl's offer to go -to Zurich and see her, so as to give her the explanation necessary to -her peace of mind. While awaiting his return, I received a letter from -Liszt, telling me of the deep impression made upon him by my Lohengrin -score, which had caused him to make up his mind as to the future in -store for me. He at the same time announced that, as I had given him -the permission to do so, he intended doing all in his power to bring -about the production of my opera at the forthcoming Herder festival in -Weimar. About this time I also heard from Frau Ritter, who, in -consequence of events of which she was well aware, thought herself -called upon to beg me not to take the matter too much to heart. At this -moment Karl also returned from Zurich, and spoke with great warmth of -my wife's attitude. Not having found me in Paris, she had pulled -herself together with remarkable energy, and in pursuance of an earlier -wish of mine, had rented a house on the lake of Zurich, installed -herself comfortably, and remained there in the hope of at last hearing -from me again. Besides this, he had much to tell me of Sulzer's good -sense and friendliness, the latter having stood by, my wife and shown -her great sympathy. In the midst of his narrative Karl suddenly -exclaimed, 'Ah! these could be called sensible people; but with such a -mad Englishwoman nothing could be done.' To all this I said not a word, -but finally with a smile asked him whether he would like to go over to -Zurich? He sprang up exclaiming, 'Yes, and as soon as possible.' 'You -shall have your way,' said I; 'let us pack. I can see no sense in -anything either here or there.' Without breathing another syllable -about all that had happened, we left the next day for Zurich. - - - - - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of My Life, Volume I, by Richard Wagner - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MY LIFE, VOLUME I *** - -***** This file should be named 5197.txt or 5197.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/9/5197/ - -Produced by John Mamoun <mamounjo@umdnj.edu> with help -from Charles Franks and the Online distributed proofreading -website - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, -set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to -copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to -protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project -Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you -charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you -do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the -rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose -such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and -research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do -practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is -subject to the trademark license, especially commercial -redistribution. - - - -*** START: FULL LICENSE *** - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project -Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at - www.gutenberg.org/license. - - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy -all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. -If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the -terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or -entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement -and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" -or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the -collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an -individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are -located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from -copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative -works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg -are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project -Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by -freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of -this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with -the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by -keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project -Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in -a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check -the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement -before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or -creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project -Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning -the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United -States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate -access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently -whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, -copied or distributed: - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived -from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is -posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied -and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees -or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work -with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the -work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 -through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the -Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or -1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional -terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked -to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the -permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any -word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or -distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than -"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version -posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), -you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a -copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon -request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other -form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided -that - -- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is - owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he - has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the - Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments - must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you - prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax - returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and - sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the - address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to - the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." - -- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or - destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium - and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of - Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any - money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days - of receipt of the work. - -- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set -forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from -both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael -Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the -Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm -collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain -"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or -corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual -property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a -computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by -your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with -your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with -the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a -refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity -providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to -receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy -is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further -opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER -WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO -WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. -If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the -law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be -interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by -the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any -provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance -with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, -promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, -harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, -that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do -or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm -work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any -Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. - - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers -including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists -because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from -people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. -To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation -and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 -and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive -Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent -permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. -Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered -throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at 809 -North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email -contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the -Foundation's web site and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To -SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any -particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. -To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic -works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. |