diff options
| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-02-05 19:14:04 -0800 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-02-05 19:14:04 -0800 |
| commit | b2674538611847266d8bcde2ba80e25074b17337 (patch) | |
| tree | 52e0defdcedc275933243cd383101c7958c0338e | |
| parent | 901a0c505ef093446be5a4cfc887dcd031238ba5 (diff) | |
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 4 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-0.txt | 3246 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-0.zip | bin | 49460 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h.zip | bin | 293073 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/51887-h.htm | 5047 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/cover.jpg | bin | 44449 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-a.jpg | bin | 11149 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-a2.jpg | bin | 10205 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-a3.jpg | bin | 8442 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-d.jpg | bin | 7735 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-f.jpg | bin | 8899 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-f2.jpg | bin | 9215 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-g.jpg | bin | 8910 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-i.jpg | bin | 8070 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-i2.jpg | bin | 6728 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-p.jpg | bin | 9264 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-s.jpg | bin | 8490 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-t.jpg | bin | 10349 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-t2.jpg | bin | 8547 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-t3.jpg | bin | 8966 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-t4.jpg | bin | 8318 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-t5.jpg | bin | 7822 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-v.jpg | bin | 9496 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-w.jpg | bin | 8460 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-w2.jpg | bin | 10642 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/drop-w3.jpg | bin | 9802 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51887-h/images/i_151.jpg | bin | 15214 -> 0 bytes |
29 files changed, 17 insertions, 8293 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0618632 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #51887 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51887) diff --git a/old/51887-0.txt b/old/51887-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index ab8e46d..0000000 --- a/old/51887-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,3246 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Etiquette Made Easy, by Edward Summers Squier - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Etiquette Made Easy - -Author: Edward Summers Squier - -Release Date: April 29, 2016 [EBook #51887] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE MADE EASY *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - -ETIQUETTE MADE EASY - - - - -Made Easy Series - -ETIQUETTE MADE EASY - - BY - EDWARD SUMMERS SQUIER, M. A. - - -[Illustration] - - - NEW YORK - EDWARD J. CLODE - - - - - COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY - EDWARD J. CLODE - - _All rights reserved_ - - _Entered at Stationers’ Hall_ - - PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - - - - -PREFACE - - -THE POLITEST MAN of whom history has record was a Norwegian. A stranger -in a town of Norway asked a passing native the way to a certain -address. The native raised his hat, bowed, and said: - -“Sir, I am very sorry, but I do not know.” - -The stranger passed on. A few minutes later, he heard the sound of some -one running behind him. He faced about, and recognized the native, who -came, halted, and after a few deep breaths, said, while bowing with -uplifted hat: - -“Sir, after leaving you, I met my brother-in-law, and I regret to tell -you, Sir, that he also does not know.” - -In spite of this story with its Norwegian hero, first place is -usually given to the French in matters of politeness. There is an old -story that illustrates with remarkable precision the national traits -of French, English and German. This has to do with the manner of -lighting a cigar. The Frenchman strikes a match, offers the flame to -his companions, then makes a light for himself. The Englishman lights -his own cigar first, and then offers the match to his companions. The -German lights his own cigar, then throws the match away. The brief -recital contains something deeper than mere humor in its analysis of -national characteristics. The consideration of the Frenchman for others -is indeed the essential basis for all true courtesy. Genuine politeness -has its root always in a very real regard for the feelings of others. - -The ancient proverb declares that cleanliness is next to godliness. In -fact, so far as concerns casual associations, cleanliness is the more -important. We have ordinarily nothing to do with the morals of those -whom we encounter for a few fugitive moments, but the most fleeting -companionship with a dirty person is offensive, while a perfect -cleanliness is always pleasing in its effect. - -As a matter of fundamental courtesy toward others, we are required to -keep ourselves clean. Such cleanliness may be excellent as a hygienic -measure, but one most eminent physician has declared that bathing is -not essential to health, and he offers in proof of his assertion the -great number of old persons there are in the world. - -But those aged unwashed would be repulsive in refined society. Their -condition would distress others. Quite involuntarily, they would thus -be guilty of discourtesy. - -The principle of consideration for others that exalts cleanliness as a -virtue is the principle that actually fashions all the essential forms -of politeness. At a decent dinner-table, one must not smack his lips, -or make loud noises in taking soup from the spoon, for the simple -reason that such behavior will annoy others. Often, a sympathetic -person, absolutely untaught in the niceties of etiquette, will do -the right thing by a natural instinct of kindliness, where another -individual of polite breeding will do the wrong from sheer lack of that -fellow-feeling which gives understanding. - -Nevertheless, while the noblest courtesy must spring always from the -heart, common convenience has settled on definite methods of deportment -for various occasions. Ignorance of these details as to proper conduct -is not a matter to be contemned, but one to be regretted, because a -person thus ignorant, no matter how kindly his intention, must often -disturb others by failure to do the expected thing in the expected way. -In other words, he lacks knowledge of what are termed the proprieties. -It is with the intention of offering assistance to those finding -themselves in doubt as to the niceties of deportment that this book -has been prepared. - -It is arranged with the contents in alphabetical order, so that the -topics are self-indexed. - -In addition to the bulk of information set forth in the following -pages, there needs only one direction of importance. - -This is based on the ancient saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans -do.” Practically every community has its local customs, and these are -always to be respected. There is nothing more snobbish than criticism -by a stranger of social forms that are well established. It is always -his duty to respect them and to observe them. Otherwise, he displays -that lack of consideration for others which is the root of all -rudeness. One sympathetically disposed toward his fellows who avails -himself of the information in this book may rest confident in the -assurance that he is indeed the possessor of good manners. - - - - -CONTENTS - - - PAGE - AT HOMES 13 - BACHELOR HOSTS 23 - BALLS 26 - BREAKFASTS 31 - CALLS 34 - CARDS 45 - DINNERS 61 - GARDEN-PARTIES 70 - HOUSE-PARTIES 75 - INTRODUCTIONS 84 - LETTERS 95 - LUNCHEONS 103 - MOURNING 106 - MUSICALES 113 - OPERA 117 - PRIVATE THEATRICALS 121 - RECEPTIONS 122 - SMOKING 123 - STAIRS 124 - STREET ETIQUETTE 125 - TABLE MANNERS 128 - TEAS 133 - THEATER-PARTIES 134 - WEDDINGS 141 - - - - -Etiquette Made Easy - - - - -AT HOMES - - -THE AFTERNOON TEA is perhaps the most popular of social functions, and -deservedly so, since it is essentially of the utmost simplicity, yet -may be expanded into a most elaborate social affair. In the original -simple form, the hostess merely welcomes her guests as they come to her -on her regular day at home, in the drawing-room, and there offers them -a cup of tea served by herself and light refreshments of sandwiches and -cakes and the like. - -The next development in the tea is in the nature of a small afternoon -reception, or at home. For this occasion, the hostess issues -invitations a week in advance. A visiting-card serves the purpose, with -a line written below the name: - - _Wednesday, June fourth - from four until seven o’clock_ - -If there is to be a guest of honor, an additional line may indicate the -fact: - - _To meet_........................ - -The procedure for the hostess at a function of this sort is more -formal. It is usual to have the refreshments in the dining-room, though -they should not be of an elaborate character. The teapot is placed -at one end of the table, and presided over by some friend, since the -obligations of the hostess prevent her rendering this hospitable -service in person. - -The third stage of the afternoon tea has come to take the place of the -old-time reception, though it bears merely the designation “At Home.” - -The requisite invitations must be sent out any time from a week to -a fortnight before the date set. For these, an engraved form is -essential. They are printed on heavy white bristol board, of the -quality described for dinner-invitations, and inclosed in a single -envelope. They may be issued in the name of the hostess alone, or in -the names of a hostess and her daughter or daughters, or in the names -of husband and wife—though this last is a very modern innovation. The -following will serve as a model: - - _Mrs. James French Putnam - - At Home - - April the seventh - - From four until seven o’clock - - 208 Flagg Avenue_ - -If the husband joins with the wife in issuing the invitations, the only -change is in the first line: - - _Mr. and Mrs. James French Putnam_ - -Where a daughter is to receive with her mother, the girl’s name appears -just below that of the matron: - - _Mrs. James French Putnam_ - - _Miss Putnam_ - -Where there are two or more daughters thus associated with the mother, -they are included under one title. Thus: - - _Mrs. James French Putnam_ - - _The Misses Putnam_ - -When a younger sister is to appear at her début, her name in full is -given a line after those of her mother and elder sister: - - _Mrs. James French Putnam_ - - _Miss Putnam_ - - _Miss Helen Louise Putnam_ - -In the event of a guest of honor, the invitation may emphasize the -presence of this personage by a special engraved announcement at the -head of the invitation: - - _To meet_ - - ...................................... - -The remainder of the invitation will follow any of the forms indicated -above. - -Or the announcement may appear in one engraved line at the foot of the -invitation: - - _To meet_................................ - -At a reception of this character, the hostess is obliged to remain -on duty near the door of the drawing-room throughout the hours set. -But a husband or daughter receiving with her, though expected to join -her in receiving the guests at the outset and for a considerable time -afterward, is not so rigidly held to the one place, but after a time -may properly move about among the guests with hospitable intent. - -But a débutante must remain at the post of duty with her mother -throughout the whole time. - -In recent years, there has developed a pleasant custom by which -the débutante invites a number of her young friends to join her in -receiving the other guests. It is usual to entertain these at dinner -after the reception. - -The refreshments for an occasion of this sort are served in the -dining-room with servants in attendance. Tea is poured at one end of -the table, and perhaps chocolate at the other, while a bowl of punch is -commonly at hand. The refreshments are of the buffet variety, but they -may be as rich and varied as the hostess chooses. At such functions -in the city, it is usual to lay a strip of carpet from the house door -to the curb, and an awning raised over this offers protection to the -guests in inclement weather. Where the list of guests is long, a -liveried servant at the curb not only opens the doors of the motors, -but also issues checks by which the cars may be summoned for the -departure of the guests. - -A butler opens the house door as the guest approaches, and gives -directions as to the dressing-rooms. Another liveried servant at the -door of the drawing-room announces each guest by name to the hostess. - -At such affairs, both hostess and women guests wear what is properly -termed a reception-gown—that is to say, one of elegance and richness, -with a train if the prevailing mode permits, but not decolleté or -sleeveless. Hats of a character harmonious with the gown are worn -throughout the function, as are gloves. - -The men wear black frock coats and gray striped trousers, with either a -black waistcoat or a fancy one according to choice. While he leaves his -coat and hat in the dressing-room at such formal affairs, a man retains -his gloves, either keeping the left glove on the hand, and carrying the -other, or carrying both. The right hand must be bare. - -Each woman guest leaves on a tray provided for that purpose in the -hall a card for her hostess and one for each of any other women -receiving. She may also leave similarly the cards of any other woman -member of her family who has been invited, but does not attend. - -The man leaves a card for his host if there is one, in addition to -those for the ladies. - -No reply is necessary from one invited to such a reception, either -of acceptance or of refusal. The presence of the guests is deemed a -sufficient answer. In the event of non-attendance, the guest must be at -pains to send cards, and these should be so timed in the sending that -they will reach their address on the day of the at home, preferably in -the afternoon. - -At crowded affairs, the guest displays good manners as well as good -sense by making the stay short. Twenty minutes is a sufficient time, -and departure should not be delayed much beyond a half-hour. It is -better not to say farewell to the hostess, unless the going should be -at a time when few guests remain, and she is obviously at leisure. - -The punctilious guest will make a point of arriving neither too early -nor too late. Between half-past four and six is recommended. - -The formal evening reception is less popular than in former days, but -it still prevails to a limited extent. The procedure throughout is -substantially the same as for that of the afternoon reception. The -wording of the invitation is identical, with the single exception of -the time specified. - -The line that indicated the hours from four until seven o’clock must be -changed to read: - - _From nine until eleven o’clock_ - -Or, it may be properly stated, if one’s taste so dictates: - - _After nine o’clock_ - -While for the evening reception all other formal details are the same -as for an afternoon affair, the costumes of the guests, both men -and women, are changed as befits the change in hours. The men are -scrupulous in the exactitude of their evening garb—swallow tail, white -linen and white cravat and white waistcoat, and patent-leather shoes; -while the women array themselves in their handsomest evening gowns, -decolleté and sleeveless, and display the richest of their jewels. - - - - -BACHELOR HOSTS - - -WHEN A BACHELOR entertains either in the afternoon or evening, he -follows in a general way the procedure indicated for receptions under -the heading “At Homes.” If the affair is to be elaborate, he may use -engraved invitations. - - _Mr. Hartley Fane Treadwell - - requests the pleasure of - - ................................. - - company - - on Wednesday afternoon, November the first - - From four until seven o’clock - - Nine East Third Street_ - -A word or two at the bottom on the left may indicate any special -entertainment, such as _Music_. - -But there are certain proprieties to be observed that are peculiar to -the bachelor. For example, he is not permitted to use a visiting-card -with a line written on it for less formal invitations. Instead, he must -write a note in the first person, or he may give the invitation orally. -The invitations should be issued a week or a little less before the -appointed time. - -There is one other requirement of vital importance. The bachelor must -always have a chaperon present for any gathering that includes both -sexes. And she must be invited by note, or orally—even in cases where -the formal engraved invitations are employed. - -The chaperon pours tea, and on occasions when the guests are seated at -table, she is given the place on the host’s right, unless there is a -guest of honor, when she is given the position on his left. - -The other women guests must take their departure at the same time as -the chaperon, unless they prefer an earlier hour. - -The presence of the chaperon at such entertainments makes it -unnecessary for the unmarried girl to provide one for herself. - -The chaperon should be a married woman, and her husband must be -included among the invited guests. - -When a bachelor wishes to issue engraved invitations for a formal -dinner-party or luncheon, he uses the forms provided respectively in -the chapters entitled “Dinners” and “Luncheons.” The directions as to -breakfasts also will be found appropriate in a general way as set forth -in the special chapter. - -A bachelor should always be punctilious in calling on a chaperon -shortly after any affair at which she has officiated, in order to -tender his grateful appreciation of her services in his behalf. - - - - -BALLS - - -THE INVITATIONS for a formal ball are engraved on a sheet similar to -that used for dinner-parties. But, like the dinner-invitations, they -may also be written by the hostess. In sending these invitations by -mail only one envelope is used when the invitation is written out. But -the engraved form is enclosed first in an unsealed envelope with merely -the name of the guest on the cover. This is put in a second envelope, -which is sealed and has both the name and address written on it for -posting. An engraved invitation, however, when delivered by a messenger -requires only a single envelope, sealed. - -These invitations must be sent out not less than ten days before the -date of the ball, and they may be issued three weeks before the -appointed time. - -The accepted form may be either of those following: - - _Mr. and Mrs. George Wheatley - - request the pleasure of your company - - on Wednesday evening, April the second - - at half-past nine o’clock - - Dancing 71 Hamilton Place_ - - _Mrs. George Wheatley - - Miss Wheatley - - At Home - - Tuesday, April the ninth - - at eleven o’clock - - Dancing 71 Hamilton Place_ - -It is permissible to write the initials, _R.s.v.p._ below the word -_Dancing_. - -In place of _Dancing_, the word _Cotillon_ may appear, if the whole -evening is to be devoted especially to this dance. So, too, the words -_Bal Poudré_ may be substituted for _Dancing_, if the affair is to be -a costume ball. Or any other form of entertainment may be similarly -indicated. - -The form used in accepting or declining such an invitation follows -exactly the wording given in a later chapter in connection with -dinner-invitations. - -It is the duty of the hostess to greet her guests as at a dinner-party, -and a daughter or daughters may assist her in her hospitable duties, -but such assistance is not required of them. The host, also, may join -his wife in receiving, and may make himself socially useful by various -attentions to the guests. But such action on his part is discretionary, -except that in the case of a woman guest of particular importance, -he should take her in to supper if this is served at tables. Where a -buffet supper is served, it is fitting that he should escort various -guests from time to time. - -It is not always necessary to invite mothers or chaperons to a private -ball, and in that case a girl may be sent with a maid to accompany -her. When the mother receives an invitation and accepts it, she may -choose not to remain, but to leave after entrusting her daughter to the -care of the hostess, or some other friend. - -At elaborate dances, the supper at midnight is served on small tables, -at which the guests are seated. The buffet supper is popular on account -of its convenience, since the guests select whatever pleases them at -any time. - -Unlike the rule as to dinners, there is no obligation for prompt -arrival on the ball guest. Likewise, the guest may leave at any time. -It is not necessary to seek the hostess for a farewell, but if she is -near, she should be addressed with appropriate phrase in appreciation -of the hospitality that has been enjoyed. - -A girl at a ball usually establishes herself in a seat by her chaperon, -to whom she returns according to her convenience after dancing. It -is perfectly proper for her, if at any time she wishes to be rid of -a partner, to ask that he accompany her back to this seat beside her -chaperon. - -Evening clothes are essential for the male guest at a ball, and the -wearing of white gloves is obligatory. A careful man is very likely to -provide himself with an extra pair. At informal dances, ungloved men -often cover the hand with a handkerchief to avoid any risk of soiling a -partner’s bodice. If a man serves as escort for a woman, or for a girl -and her chaperon, it is a part of his duty to provide a carriage to and -fro. - -The ball-dress for women is usually the most elegant their taste and -means will contrive. It is always decolleté, and commonly sleeveless. - - - - -BREAKFASTS - - -A HOSTESS MAY USE her visiting-card for invitations to breakfast, -simply writing on it below her name: - - _Breakfast at eleven o’clock - April the fourth_ - -A more formal affair may have an engraved invitation on paper similar -to that used in the case of dinners. This would have the following form: - - _Mrs. George Vinton Thorne - - requests the pleasure of - - ................................ - - company at breakfast - - on.................................... - - at.............................o’clock - - Eleven Green Street_ - -Or the hostess may, if she prefers, write a brief note of invitation -in the first person. Whatever form is employed, the invitations should -be sent out a full week, or a little more, before the date set for the -breakfast. - -The answer to such an invitation should be sent promptly, whether -in acceptance or in refusal. The form is identical with that for -dinner-invitations, except that the word _breakfast_ is substituted for -the word _dinner_. - -Where the invitation is a note written in the first person, the answer -must follow the same style. - -A breakfast of the more informal sort, with no more than eight or -ten guests, may begin as early as ten o’clock, but a later hour is -preferred for very ceremonious affairs, with noon most esteemed as the -hour. - -Grapefruit is usually served, with finger-bowl accompaniment, and the -meal that follows may be as simple or as elaborate as the taste and -resources of the hostess dictate. - -Usually both sexes are included among the guests at a breakfast. The -women remove their gloves after taking their places at table, but not -their hats. Veils may be removed entirely or pushed up out of the way, -according to the wearer’s choice. - -The guest should remain at least a half-hour after the conclusion of -the meal, but not longer than an hour unless justified by exceptional -circumstances. - -Frock or cutaway coats are worn by the men, and afternoon dress by the -women. The costumes for a ten o’clock breakfast should be somewhat -plainer than for one at the more formal hour of noon. - - - - -CALLS - - -FORMAL CALLS are to be made in the afternoon between three o’clock and -half-past five. - -If a hostess has a day at home, formal calls on her should be made on -that day. It is well also so to time visits for congratulation or to -return thanks for any hospitality, or the like, as to have them also -fall on the day at home. Usually, a due attention by visitors to this -set time for calling is appreciated by a hostess. - -While the formal hours for calls are in the afternoon as indicated -above, the time varies in different neighborhoods. Evening calls are -common in the country necessarily as a matter of convenience. And, -while in the city women pay no formal calls on Sunday, these are -permitted in smaller places. Ordinarily, too, there is license in the -country as to the length even of formal calls, which may be extended -without impropriety far beyond the limit of fifteen or twenty minutes -which is well established in the city. A new resident or visitor in any -community should be at pains to get information as to the local usage, -and conform to it in all details. - -It is permissible for men in our country to make social calls in the -afternoon on Sunday, or in the evening. The exigencies of business -are the excuse for the departure from the stricter form, which still -holds in the case of women. The hour of such evening calls in the -larger cities is from eight to nine, but the time is earlier in smaller -towns and in the country. In every instance, the local custom is to be -followed. Of course, too, men of leisure may pay their calls in the -afternoon. - -New residents in a neighborhood must await calls from those already -established there. In the city, the first calls of the social season -should be received by the hostess who first sends out her at-home -cards. Where women have met out of town, and wish to continue the -acquaintance in the city, the unmarried woman should call on the -matron, or one who is under any obligation for hospitality should make -the first call. Unless a distinction be drawn for some such reason, -either may properly pay the first visit. - -It is notorious that in the large cities there is no welcome for -the newcomer from the dweller next door or across the street. The -conditions of city life justify such aloofness. On the other hand, the -conditions of life in the smaller places warrant exactly the opposite -in the matter of hospitality. It is the recognized duty of the older -residents to welcome new arrivals by calling on them promptly, after -the strangers have had time to dispose themselves comfortably. - -There are many varieties of those calls that are imposed by formal -courtesy. Thus, in the matter of weddings, it becomes the duty of any -one who has taken official part in the affair, such as a bride’s-maid -or a best man, to call on the mother of the bride within a few days -after the marriage ceremony, and also to call on the bride immediately -after her return from the honeymoon trip. The like duty devolves on -invited guests to a home wedding, to a wedding-reception and to a -wedding-breakfast. - -A similar formal call should be paid to the hostess by each guest at -a dinner, or breakfast, or other special entertainment. Such a call -must be made within two weeks. The obligation is the same even in cases -where the invitation has been declined. - -As to the returning of calls, such visits should be made on the day at -home if there is one, and otherwise at a suitable time according to the -social usage of the neighborhood within a fortnight. But this ruling -applies properly only to the return for a first call. Afterward, a -longer or shorter interval may elapse between visits according to -the desire of the parties concerned. A former acquaintance may be -maintained merely by an annual exchange of calls. It must be noted, -however, that a call in person demands a personal visit in return. The -formal leaving of a card at the door does not suffice. - -Persons giving up their residence in a community or going on a long -journey should send their cards to their full visiting-list with the -initials _P.p.c._ (_Pour prendre congé_, for leave-taking). - -It occurs often that a person wishes to call on a friend in the home of -a stranger. Such a call is permissible, but the visitor should ask for -the hostess as well as the friend, and leave a card for her. - -In the matter of initiative, it is fitting that an elder woman should -invite a younger to the exchange of cards and calls, and that the -matron should thus invite the maiden. Where there is equality of years -or station, the first advance must depend on the personal inclinations -of the parties. - -The proprieties in reference to calls between women are thus seen to -be simple enough. There is more complexity in the procedure when it -has to do with the calling of men on women. It is not deemed proper -for a young unmarried woman to invite calls from men. Such visits on -their part are left to the discretion of the mother or chaperon. But, -undoubtedly, the débutante will see to it that mother or chaperon -does not fail in her functions. As to the older women, and those -married, there is some variation locally in the polite usage. Sometimes -the woman feels it her privilege to invite the man to call without -awaiting solicitation on his part; sometimes she requires that the -advance should be on the part of the man in the form of a request for -permission to visit her. - -If any person requires that a definite time should be given for the -emancipation of a girl from the social dominance of her mother or -chaperon, it may be set at about the twenty-fifth year, after which -time a young woman is theoretically fitted to decide for herself as to -who her visitors shall be. - -A young woman of sensibility will be extremely chary of her invitations -to men, and very sure before extending them that they are really -desired. If at any time a man fails to avail himself of such an -invitation, her self-respect will not permit her to repeat it. - -The strictness of the above rules of conduct has been greatly relaxed -in the case of the average American girl, who democratically insists -from the outset of her social career on her own choice in the matter -of acquaintances and friends. But even this laxity does not permit an -invitation to a man on the first meeting. Such haste is neither good -form nor ordinary prudence. - -In a consideration of formal calls, it should be noted that in -practise the offices of the wife are commonly accepted in her husband’s -behalf by her leaving his card when she pays her dinner-call, or the -like. The exigencies of business are supposed to justify this vicarious -method. - -While it is proper for a woman to call upon a man for business reasons, -social calls are forbidden. - -Calls of condolence, except when there is an intimate friendship, are -properly made by leaving a card. The expression of sympathy is usually -best made by a brief note. - -Calls of congratulation may be made by acquaintances of both sexes on a -woman who announces her engagement to be married. Calls following the -announcement of a birth are expected by the mother from the women of -her acquaintance. - -The day at home is such a social convenience that it is popular, not -only in the cities, but in many smaller towns. It is usually set for -one afternoon in the week, sometimes for an afternoon each two weeks -during the social season. The day should appear on the visiting-card. -The hours for entertaining on the day at home are from three until six, -but this period is frequently extended for another hour. The hostess -should devote herself assiduously to her guests, and should provide -some light forms of food and drink. Usually, tea is served. Sufficient -notice is given of the day at home by sending out the visiting-cards -at the beginning of the season. One advantage of the day at home is -that it justifies the hostess in not receiving casual callers on other -occasions. - -It is the duty of the hostess to meet and address each guest with a -handshake. “How do you do, Mrs. Smith? I am so glad to see you!” or a -similar phrase, should be used in greeting each arrival. She should -also introduce strangers to other guests near by. She should not leave -the reception-room to make her farewells to departing guests, unless in -case of some person of particular distinction. “Good-afternoon, Mr. -Brown. I shall hope to see you again very soon,” or the like, affords a -sufficient form of farewell. - -If the husband is present during his wife’s at home, he should -undertake to second her hospitable efforts to the best of his ability, -showing attention to any requiring it. - -A woman caller does not remove her gloves or veil, or even her wrap, -unless it is a heavy one. But rubbers and umbrella and any heavy outer -garment should be left in the hall. - -For a man, formal politeness permits the carrying of both hat and -stick into the drawing-room. But this rule is to-day more honored in -the breach than in the observance. And, too, the right hand at least -is usually ungloved. The hat and stick, when carried, are held in the -left hand, and should be retained throughout the call, though it is -permissible to put them down on the floor beside one, for greater -convenience when taking refreshments. - -When the day at home is of a formal sort, the women do not exchange -kisses in greeting, and the gloves are not taken off even when tea is -drunk. - - - - -CARDS - - -VISITING-CARDS are of three sizes, which remain practically the same -year after year. The largest is that used by matrons, while that of -the unmarried woman is a very little smaller, and that of the man much -smaller. The present style as to materials favors a polished bristol -board that is white and substantial without being too heavy. This -should be printed from an engraved plate in black ink. The lettering -may be a running script or old English. - -Under no circumstances should a woman’s card carry any prefix other -than _Mrs._ or _Miss_, but one or the other of these invariably -appears. This rule does not apply in the case of professional women -who may wish a distinctive card for business purposes, with its prefix -of _Dr._ or _Rev._ Such a card would also carry the address in the -lower right-hand corner and perhaps office-hours in the lower left-hand -corner. But even the professional woman requires the plainer form of -card for social purposes. - -There is a tendency at present to give the name in full on the card. -For example, _Mrs. John James Smith_, or _Miss Maude MacArthur_. - -It is permissible for the senior matron of a family to use only the -family name on her card with the prefix: for example, _Mrs. Fuller_. -It is more common, however, to omit the Christian name of an eldest -daughter who is unmarried: _Miss Fuller_. The other daughters require -the Christian name on their cards: _Miss Mary Fuller_, _Miss Gladys -Fuller_. - -The tendency in this country is strongly against the omission of the -name in either of the above cases. Although it is perfectly correct as -a social usage, it is opposed to the spirit of our institutions. - -There is some variation in the use of the name on the card in the case -of a widow. It is within the woman’s choice whether she will continue -to use the Christian name of her husband on the card, or will put her -own in place of it. In other words, she may use the same cards after -the death of her husband as before if she prefers, or she may follow -the _Mrs._ with her own Christian name. A common form to-day gives -the woman’s Christian name and the surname to which she was born and -finally the surname of her husband. A present vogue permits also the -use of only the two surnames, without the Christian name. Thus, Mary -Brown marries James Robinson. The husband dies and the widow changes -her visiting-cards, which have read, _Mrs. James Robinson_, so that -they now read, _Mrs. Mary Robinson_. Then presently she grows ambitious -socially and has her cards changed to read, _Mrs. Mary Brown Robinson_. -Soon, she seizes on a newer style, and again changes her cards in -accordance with it to read, _Mrs. Brown Robinson_. - -It should be noted that the variations in cards practised by widows are -used also by divorced women. And when a divorcée resumes her maiden -name she properly uses with it the prefix _Mrs._, not _Miss_. - -As a matter of strict propriety, a girl during her first social season -does not formally use an individual card. Her name appears below that -of her mother in the same lettering. When making calls unaccompanied by -her mother, the latter’s name is crossed out with a pencil mark. - -Where two daughters of nearly the same age are concerned, both are -included on the mother’s card by the words _The Misses_, followed by -the family name. - -The above details are applied especially to a débutante in the first -season. Afterward, a young woman uses her own individual card when -calling alone. But this card should not carry on it the day at home. -The at-home statement appears on the mother’s individual card. It is -given also on the card combining the names of mother and daughter. The -combination card may with correctness be frequently used in appropriate -circumstances until the daughter’s marriage. - -The notice of the day at home is placed in the lower left-hand -corner of the card. Only the day of the week is given, or with such -qualification as may be required if the at-home day is not of weekly -recurrence. The hours should not be specified unless they are a -distinct variation from the customary time, between three and six. In -addition, a time limit to the at homes may be specified. Thus, _Fridays -until March_. Of course, the beginning is set for any individual by -reception of the card. - -A married woman finds frequent use for a card in combination with her -husband, though this by no means takes the place of her individual -cards, and, while it bears the address in the lower right-hand corner, -does not usually give the at-home day. This card may properly be used -for those formal occasions in which her husband is concerned. For -example, it may fittingly accompany a gift from husband and wife. It -serves also for announcing a marriage with the residence of the bridal -couple. - -A man’s visiting-card always carries the prefix _Mr._ The single -exception to this is when _Jr._ follows the name. The name is commonly -given in full, but it is permissible to use only the initial of the -middle name. It is strictly proper for the male head of a family to use -only the family name on his card, preceded by _Mr._ Thus, the head of -the Smiths—could he be located—might use on his visiting-card merely -_Mr. Smith_, instead of _Mr. John Smith_. - -The home address appears in the lower right-hand corner of the card, -and a bachelor may add also the name of a club in the lower left-hand -corner. The business address, of course, should never appear on the -card used for social purposes. Likewise, a day at home should not be -given by a bachelor even though he may entertain regularly. - -It is a safe rule to avoid titles on the visiting-cards of men as of -women. The only exceptions are in instances little likely to concern -the average reader of this book. Such instances are afforded by the -President of the United States, the Vice-President, Ambassadors, the -higher Judiciary, Army and Navy Officers, clergymen and physicians. The -custom in the army, however, forbids any prefix except plain _Mr._ to -an officer below the rank of Captain. - -In the case of all officers the nature of his command is properly -stated in a lower corner of the card. - -Lawyers and physicians should have only the home address on the card -used for social purposes. Another card with the business address -should be used for business purposes. But _Dr._ is properly used by -the physician in place of _Mr._ on his visiting-cards. Likewise, a -clergyman uses _Reverend_, or its abbreviation _Rev._, on all his -cards, which are commonly identical for both social and professional -uses. - -The letters indicative of degrees are not given after the name on the -visiting-card, though a single exception is sometimes made by clergymen -who omit _Rev._ before their names and, in lieu of it, use _D.D._ -following the name. - -When it becomes necessary, for any reason, to write one’s name on a -visiting-card, the prefix _Mr._ should be given, following the ordinary -form of the engraved card. - -Care should be taken in the case of mourning-cards to avoid a too -ostentatious parade of grief by an unduly broad margin of black. -Somewhat less than a half inch is permissible for a widow’s card, and, -after the first year, it is well to have this width reduced. Often, -other reductions in the size of the border are made at intervals of six -months, as long as the period of mourning continues. - -The card of a widower must carry a border proportionately narrower, as -its size is smaller than a woman’s card, but the decrease in width is -made after the same manner. - -When a woman elects to remain in mourning permanently, the narrow black -border may be retained throughout her lifetime. - -It is not customary to make variations in the mourning border for the -commemoration of persons other than husband or wife. For these, a -fitting width is about a twelfth part of an inch, which remains the -same throughout the period of mourning. - -When a call is made on a day at home, the card or cards are commonly -left in the hall on a tray placed for that purpose. A married woman -calling on the at-home day of another married woman for the first time -in the season leaves her own card and two of her husband’s cards. But -in later calls on the at-home day she leaves her card and the two cards -of her husband’s only when the call acknowledges entertainment offered -to them by the hostess. - -There has been considerable simplification in recent years as to the -leaving of cards. They are no longer weirdly bent in sign of delivery -in person, and a smaller number are used. Thus, though the hostess -referred to above may have unmarried daughters receiving with her, -cards for them need not be left. But the presence of a married daughter -or a friend formally assisting in the reception of the guests requires -the leaving of a card. - -A woman leaves no cards for the men of the family where she visits. - -It is the business of the wife to fulfill her husband’s formal social -duties by leaving his cards with hers whenever entertainment should be -acknowledged. - -Where two spinsters share a residence, a woman caller, the first time -in the season, should leave two of her cards, and also, if she is a -married woman, two of her husband’s. So, too, a card should be left -for a daughter or sister who is hostess of the house, even though she -may be unmarried. - -When an unmarried girl uses her individual card, she should follow the -procedure indicated for the matron in the use of hers. Or she may use -the combination card of her mother and herself as already described -above. - -A call on a mother and daughter who are out requires the leaving of two -cards. The same procedure is necessary in the case of a hostess who -has a friend staying with her. Likewise, a call made on a friend who -is a guest in another’s house demands the leaving of two cards. This -rule applies in the case of a man as well as of a woman. It should be -observed that two cards are deemed sufficient in most cases. Where, -however, the hostess has a guest staying with her and also daughters of -her own, three cards are to be left. - -A man wishing to call on a particular woman must be punctilious -in leaving cards not only for the particular one in whom he is -interested, but also for the mother or chaperon, and still a third for -the host. But, if a call is made on a woman on her at-home day, no card -need be left, unless the call is in acknowledgment of entertainment. In -the latter case, a single card is left for the host. It is advisable, -however, that in his first call he should leave a card for convenience -in the matter of address. - -It is permissible on certain occasions to leave visiting-cards with -the servant at the door, or to send them through the mail or by a -messenger, instead of making the call in person. Sometimes a woman who -is owing a call thus sends her card along with an invitation, as for -luncheon or dinner. The invitation is considered to justify the merely -formal matter of the card. So, too, a person receiving an invitation -from a hostess who is a stranger must, if the invitation is declined, -leave cards within two weeks after the date of the entertainment. An -invalid may send cards through the post in acknowledgment of calls of -inquiry, and a woman in mourning is able to fulfill her obligations in -the same manner. Cards are formally left by all who receive invitations -to a church wedding, and the requirement is the same for those to whom -an announcement of the marriage is sent. Such cards are demanded of -men and women both, to be left for the mother of the bride within a -fortnight after the ceremony. Cards are left within a proper time after -any form of entertainment to which the members of a club are invited, -though there may be no other social acquaintance with the hostess. In -calls of condolence or inquiry, cards are always left. They may be used -also, as hereinbefore stated, to announce a prolonged absence or a -change of address. - -When cards are left in person, they are delivered to the servant -at the door. One or two or three are to be left according to the -circumstances. The caller should tell the servant the persons for whom -the cards are designed. - -Good taste dictates that calls of inquiry concerning the condition of a -sick person should be made in person. Cards should be left at the time -of such calls, except in the case of intimates. The cards should not be -mailed or sent by messenger. - -Acknowledgment of cards of condolence are made after a funeral by a -large black-edged card of thanks, which should be sent within a month. -Such cards are usually merely printed, not engraved. The wording should -be of the simplest. - - _Mrs. Jack Robinson - - returns thanks to - - ............................. - - for her kind sympathy_ - -The address of the one sending the card should appear at the bottom. - -The form is varied according to circumstances. Thus: - - _Mrs. Montgomery James and Family - return thanks for your kind sympathy_ - -Some persons prefer to leave their visiting-cards with the mourning -border on those to whom acknowledgment is due, instead of sending -the special card by mail. Personal calls, however, are not made by -those in mourning within three months at least of the time of the -funeral. If earlier acknowledgment is to be made, the visiting-card -with mourning-border may be sent by mail within a few weeks. A word of -thanks should be written on the card. For example: - - _With grateful appreciation of your sympathy_ - -The use of _P.p.c._ cards has already been described in the chapter -on calls. It should be added that they are convenient when one is -leaving on short notice without time to pay in person all calls due. -The _P.p.c._ card involves no duty of acknowledgment on the part of its -recipient. - -A woman temporarily stopping in any place sends cards containing -her address to any acquaintances she may have there. Her ordinary -visiting-card serves the purpose, with a pencil line drawn through the -engraved address and the temporary one written above it. But a man, in -the same circumstances, makes his calls in person. - -The new-born infant embarks on its social career by means of the card. -The birth of a child is made known to the mother’s social list by -mailing the mother’s card, which has tied to it by a strip of white -satin ribbon a card only a quarter as large carrying the full name of -the baby. In this case, the prefix _Mr._ or _Miss_ is omitted, but the -date of birth appears in a lower corner. The recipients of these cards -are required to call with inquiry as to the health of the senders, -and to leave their cards in return. Persons residing at a distance -may post their cards of acknowledgment, with a penciled phrase of -congratulation. - - - - -DINNERS - - -FORMAL INVITATIONS to dinner should be sent between five and ten days -before the date. A hostess may use her own discretion as to whether she -will write the invitations by hand or use an engraved form. The wording -is the same in either case. - - _Mr. and Mrs. Walter Peck - - request the pleasure of - - ........................................... - - company at dinner - - on.................evening - - at........................o’clock - - 401 Armstrong Street_ - -The engraved form should be printed on a large, heavy piece of bristol -board in old English or block type, or in script. When the dinner has -a guest of honor, notice of the fact may be given by a line across the -bottom of the invitation: - - _To meet Captain Arthur Shayne_ - -Or a special small card may be inclosed with the invitation, on which -is engraved a similar phrase. - -When the affair is of extraordinary importance, the form of invitation -may dignify the purpose by announcing it at the outset. - - _To meet - - The Bishop of Albany - - Mr. and Mrs. William Astor - - request the pleasure of - - ........................................ - - company at dinner - - on...........................evening - - at.............................o’clock - - 401 Armstrong Street_ - -For dinners to which only a small number of persons are invited and -these mutually acquainted, the formal mode of invitation is not -required. A simple note is sufficient. - - _31 Hamilton Place, - March 7th, 1919_ - - _My Dear Mrs. Robinson:_ - - _Will you and Mr. Robinson, if disengaged, give us - the pleasure of your company at dinner on Friday the - thirteenth, at half-past seven o’clock?_ - - _Yours sincerely, - Edith MacArthur_ - -This form may be varied according to the taste of the writer and the -degree of intimacy with the person to whom the invitation is sent. - -When it becomes necessary to invite some one to take the place of a -guest who is unable to be present, this late invitation should not -be of the formal sort, but should be contained in a note frankly -explaining the circumstances. Such invitations, of course, are never -made to merely formal acquaintances. - -The custom formerly prevailed of writing the initials _R.s.v.p._, on -the dinner invitations, the initials of the French words, répondez, -s’il vous plaît (reply if you please). But this usage has lost favor. - -An invitation to dinner demands an immediate answer, either accepting -or declining. The invitation cannot be accepted conditionally, nor can -the decision be delayed. The form of reply should be as simple as the -form of the invitation. - - _17 North Street - - April 30th, 1919 - - Mr. and Mrs. Sloan Potter - - accept with pleasure - - Mr. and Mrs. John Morehouse’s - - invitation to dinner - - Tuesday evening, May the sixth - - at half-past seven_ - -For a declination, the following form may be used: - - _17 North Street - - April 30, 1919 - - Mr. and Mrs. Sloan Potter - - regret that their absence from the city - - must prevent their acceptance of - - Mr. and Mrs. John Morehouse’s - - invitation to dinner on - - Tuesday evening, May the sixth - - at half-past seven_ - -The invitation in the form of a note is answered similarly by a note. -Thus: - - _42 Chestnut Street - April 30, 1919 - - My Dear Mrs. Morehouse:_ - - _It is with much pleasure that I accept your kind - invitation to dinner on Tuesday evening, the sixth, at - half-past seven o’clock._ - - _Yours sincerely, - Helen Potter_ - -A declination should state a courteous reason. - -All such answers are addressed to the hostess alone. If she is married -the husband is, nevertheless, omitted from the address. - -The reply to an informal invitation should always be correspondingly -informal. - -For a formal dinner, there should be an even number of guests, eight or -ten, or more, with the sexes evenly divided. - -Either a round or square table will serve, but it should be large -enough to accommodate all the party without crowding. - -A pad should cover the table. The white cloth over this should be so -large that the corners reach nearly to the floor. - -A folded napkin is placed on each plate, with a roll or piece of bread -laid within it. Three forks are laid to the left of the plate, with -prongs up. Two steel knives are to the right of the plate, and then a -silver knife, the edge of each to the left. A soup spoon follows the -silver knife, and then an oyster fork. Other utensils are sometimes -added, but are not necessary. - -A goblet for water is placed before the knives. With it are grouped -whatever wine glasses may be required. A small card lying on the napkin -carries the name of the guest to be seated here. - -When dinner is announced, the host offers his arm to the woman who is -to sit on his right, and leads the way to the dining-room. Already, in -welcoming the guests, the hostess has made known the dinner-partners, -introducing them when necessary. These now follow in pairs to the -dining-room. The hostess brings up the rear. The guests find their -places by the cards. - -The hostess does not rise in greeting a late arrival, even a woman. But -the host does, and sees to the seating of the laggard. - -It has long been the custom for the ladies to leave the dining-room -after the fruit course, and to have coffee served in the drawing-room. -In such case, the men stand until the women have passed out. -Afterward, they seat themselves where they please, and smoking is -permitted. The present-day tendency, however, is toward lessening -the time of this separation and often doing away with it altogether, -especially at less formal dinners, which otherwise follow an -essentially identical routine. - -Both host and hostess must say farewell, standing, with a handclasp, to -each guest. - -As for the guest, his first duty is to arrive exactly on time. Fifteen -minutes of delay is the limit. - -On ceremonious occasions, the hostess writes a lady’s name on a card, -and places it in an envelope. This is given to the male guest on his -arrival by a servant, and from it he learns the identity of the one he -is to take in to dinner. When the dinner is announced, he offers his -arm, and escorts the woman into the dining-room, where he pulls out her -chair, and stands until she is seated. - -It is permissible for dinner-partners, after the opening courses, to -give some attention to their other immediate neighbors. - -A guest is free to leave at any time after the conclusion of the -dinner. Usually, an hour is long enough to remain after the meal is -ended. - -In taking leave, the guest must express a courteous appreciation of the -hospitality that has been extended. - -“I am under deep obligation to you, Mrs. Johnson, for a most delightful -evening.” - -This, or any similar pleasant phrases of gratitude, will serve. The -words of appreciation should be particularly addressed to the hostess -always. - -Evening dress is required for all guests at a formal dinner. For -men, the regulation swallow-tail is imperative. The wearing of a -dinner-jacket is not allowable on any occasion of ceremony. - - - - -GARDEN-PARTIES - - -GARDEN-PARTIES are probably destined to grow in popularity in this -century, for they offer one of the simplest and most pleasant forms of -entertainment during those seasons when the outdoors is attractive. - -For such an affair, the hostess sends out invitations about ten days -beforehand. These may be engraved on white bristol board, in which case -either one of two forms is permissible. - - _Mrs. Melville Stratton - - At Home - - Friday afternoon, April third - - from four until seven o’clock - - Garden-Party Nine Park Square_ - -Or: - - _Mrs. Melville Stratton - - requests the pleasure of - - ............................. - - company on Friday afternoon - - April third - - from four until seven o’clock - - Garden-Party Nine Park Square_ - -If less pretentiousness is preferred for the occasion, the hostess may -merely use a visiting-card. Below her name she writes: - - _Garden-Party, April third, four to - seven o’clock._ - -Still a third method of issuing the invitations is by means of a short -note, written in the first person. - -The formal engraved invitation demands a prompt reply, written in -the third person. An acceptance might properly take this mode of -expression: - - _Mr. and Mrs. Clinton Brewster - - accept with pleasure - - Mrs. Stratton’s kind invitation - - for April third. - - Thirty Abernethey Row - - May twenty-fifth, 1919_ - -A refusal might be in the following form: - - _Mr. and Mrs. Clinton Brewster - - regret that a previous engagement - - - prevents their acceptance - - of Mrs. Stratton’s kind invitation - - for April third - - - Thirty Abernethey Row - May twenty-fifth, 1919_ - -When the invitation is by means of the visiting-card, an answer is not -obligatory. Yet, it is well to acknowledge this form of invitation, -also, by sending a short note written in the first person, either -accepting or refusing. - -Of course, when the invitation itself takes the form of a note, the -answer should follow the same style. - -It is part of the duty of the hostess to put her house in order, as -well as the grounds. The guests on arriving may, in many cases, go -within before greeting the hostess, to lay aside wraps or heavy veils. -Moreover, weather conditions may make it necessary to seek shelter -indoors. It is often convenient also to have the refreshments set -out on the porch. These should include hot and cold tea, punch or -claret-cup, cakes, sandwiches, salads, fruits in season, and the like, -which are partaken of by the guests according to their pleasure. - -Or a marquée may shelter the refreshments—a tent roof set up at any -desired place on the lawn. - -The hostess receives her guests on the lawn. She wears an afternoon -gown, suitable for the season, and a hat. But, if she prefers, she may -leave off the hat, and use a parasol in its stead. - -The women guests, too, wear their most effective afternoon gowns and -also hats and veils and gloves, which are not taken off. - -The men may wear frock or morning coats and silk hats, and this garb -is common at garden-parties in England. In this country, however, more -comfortable clothes are popular, and flannels, or other fabrics of -light material, are favored. - -Guests leave their cards on a tray provided for that purpose in the -hallway of the house. The requirements concerning cards have already -been fully explained in the chapters on cards and at homes. - -After greeting the hostess, a guest must remain for at least twenty -minutes, and may properly continue on throughout the whole afternoon. - -Discretion should be used in the matter of saying farewell. It should -be omitted if the hostess is occupied. If she is free, good-bye may be -spoken, and with it a phrase in appreciation of the hospitality. - - - - -HOUSE-PARTIES - - -THE HOUSE-PARTY is made up of any number of guests, from half a dozen -to a score, and may be merely for a few days or for any desired length -of time. But, whatever is to be the length of the guest’s stay, it -should be specifically stated in the invitation. It is a common saying -that an invitation that sets no time for the visit is no invitation at -all, and the saying is quite true. - -So, in writing her invitation, a hostess mentions the exact day for -the guest’s arrival, and, as well, the exact day of departure. The -invitation is always a note written in the first person. The following -may serve as an illustration: - - _The Oaks, Hyde Park. - April 10, 1919._ - - _Dear Mrs. Ashland:_ - - _I should be delighted to have you come to us for the - next week-end, and I hope that there is no previous - engagement to prevent your giving us this pleasure._ - - _The best train for you to take from the city is the - one leaving at three in the afternoon. Mr. Lawrence - will meet this at the station here on Friday._ - - _In eager anticipation of your visit, believe me,_ - - _Cordially yours, - Ella Lawrence_ - -The guest’s answer to the invitation must be of the promptest, whether -it accepts or rejects the proposal of a visit. It should, of course, be -written in the first person. The wording is a matter for the individual -taste, and the form following is offered merely as a suggestion. - - _47 Tremont St., - New York._ - _April 11, 1919._ - - _Dear Mrs. Lawrence:_ - - _I am more pleased than I can tell you to receive your - kind invitation, since there is nothing to prevent my - acceptance of it. I shall take the three o’clock train - on Friday afternoon for Hyde Park, and I am looking - forward very eagerly to being with you so soon._ - - _Yours sincerely, - Roberta Ashland_ - -The declination of the invitation should contain some fitting -expression of regret, and an explanation as to the causes that render -an acceptance impossible. - -It is imperative that a girl should be met at the station by her host -in person, or, if convenient, preferably by the hostess, or perhaps by -both. But this attention is not obligatory in the case of a married -couple or with a bachelor guest. But these, too, should be met at the -station by a servant if not by the host, and duly conveyed to the house -where they are to be entertained. - -The guest on arrival should be welcomed at the entrance by the hostess, -if she has not been to the station, and after the greetings she escorts -the guest, if this is a woman, to the chamber she is to occupy, and -there leaves her to freshen herself after the journey. - -When the luggage is brought in, a competent maid will unpack it and -distribute the contents through the drawers of the bureau and in the -closet, and render such other services as may be required. A less -competent maid can at least unstrap the luggage, remove trays, and help -in the disposal of the contents. - -In the case of a man, after being greeted by his hostess, he is -conducted to his room by the host. - -The wardrobe requirements for the visitor at a house-party are -regulated by the probable nature of the entertainment that will be -provided, by the season of the year, and by the particular social -status of the hosts. No hard-and-fast rule can be given. Thus, where a -woman visits a country house for a few days in the summer, she needs -no larger wardrobe than can be carried in the tiniest of trunks, -suitcase and hat-box. The hat used for traveling will serve her also on -occasion during the visit, but she will need in addition a sport-hat -for tramping or out-door games and another hat of sufficient elegance -for wear at a lawn party or wherever more elaborate dress is necessary. -The frocks should follow the lines thus indicated, and there should -be a sufficiency of dainty waists and footgear besides the inevitable -decolleté gowns for evening wear. - -For the man, also, evening clothes are essential, and he should be -provided with flannels, besides the business suit in which he travels. -For winter, the change in season would demand a corresponding change -in the matter of dress, especially for out of doors. - -The hostess plans sufficient entertainment for her guests, but, if -she is discreet, she does not plan too many things. It is customary -to leave the mornings to the devices of the guests, to be occupied by -them according to their individual pleasure. Where a morning start is -required on some expedition, such as a picnic, the hostess is likely to -leave the evening free from any special entertainment. - -It is the duty of the guest to conform to the habits of the household. -If the party assembles together for breakfast, he or she must make -one of the number though the hour may be too early or too late for -personal convenience. Likewise, the guest should accept such disposal -of his or her time as the hostess may choose to make, even when the -preference would be quite otherwise. The tactful hostess, of course, -studies the likes and dislikes of her guests, and seeks to reconcile -her hospitality so far as possible to their prejudices. - -It is customary to give tips on leaving a house-party to those servants -with whom the guest has been brought more closely in contact. The maid -who has attended to the room should receive a dollar from the visitor -for a few days; the butler, if there is one, should receive a dollar -and a half. The amount for the chauffeur should be regulated to some -extent by his personal service in the guest’s behalf. Where there has -been none, a dollar is sufficient. - -These figures are applicable in the cases of unmarried women and -bachelors, although the tendency of the latter is to give more. The -sums named, however, are regarded as acceptable by the servants -themselves. Naturally, they enjoy the lavish, even prodigal tips given -by certain persons of wealth, who are more ostentatious than discreet. -Such indiscretions, however, need not set up a false standard for other -guests. - -In the case of a husband and wife, the tips to maid and butler, etc., -should be increased. It is usual for the wife to tip the female -servants, while the husband satisfies those of his own sex. When the -care of the guest’s shoes devolves on a house-boy, he, too, should be -remembered with a half-dollar. - -The male guests frequently give a tip of a dollar or more to the cook. - -It is the duty of the hostess in the case of a woman visitor to bid -her farewell in person, even if this should necessitate arising at an -unpleasantly early hour. But in the case of a man’s leaving thus early, -it suffices if she makes her farewell the night before. It then becomes -the duty of the host to attend on the guest for the breakfast and -departure. - -In about a week after such a visit, the guest should write a note to -the hostess, expressing warm appreciation of the hospitality thus -enjoyed. It is also permissible for the guest to send a gift that is -not too costly, such as a book, or any simple thing that may serve -as a token of remembrance. But this is in no wise obligatory, and, -in fact, good taste is likely to prevent the bestowal of such a gift -in most cases. There could hardly be anything less satisfactory to a -hostess than a string of such souvenirs from her whilom guests. - -Where the visit is a very short one, less than two days, it is -customary to dispense with the bread-and-butter letter. - - - - -INTRODUCTIONS - - -SIMPLICITY SHOULD always characterize good manners, and this truth -applies especially in the matter of introductions. There should be no -attempt at fine phrases. - -“Mrs. Smith, let me present Mr. Jones.” - -It is to be noted that the names of both persons concerned are given. -They should be spoken with entire distinctness. - -In this form, a man is presented to a woman, and this is the rule to be -generally observed. It is admissible for the introduction to contain an -expression of the man’s wish for it. - -“Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones desires to be presented to you.” - -Slight variations in the phrasing of these forms are permitted. For -example, after saying, “Mrs. Smith, let me present Mr. Jones,” it is -proper to add some such phrase as, “He is very anxious to meet you.” - -It is always a mark of courtesy to request a lady’s permission in -advance of the actual introduction. When introductions are to be made -between a woman, who is a newcomer, and an assembly of guests, the -newcomer is given the formal distinction of receiving the introductions. - -“Miss Brown, let me present Mrs. Robinson, Miss Robinson, Miss Helen -Robinson, Mr. Jones, Mr. Truesdale.” - -Often, the form of introduction is curtailed, especially when the -company is numerous. In such case, merely the names are spoken, that of -the stranger having first place. - -“Miss Brown—Mrs. Robinson, Miss Robinson, Miss Helen Robinson, Mr. -Jones, Mr. Truesdale.” - -Care must be taken to remember that the person to whom the introduction -is made has the place of honor. It is on this account that the rule of -proper procedure requires the presentation of a man to a woman, and -always the presentation of the inferior to the superior, although the -distinction is usually purely theoretical. For example, an unmarried -woman should be presented to a matron. So, the younger person should be -presented to his or her elders; the ordinary person should be presented -to the person of distinction. Where men or women are of nearly equal -age or station, it is safer not to discriminate between them by -presenting one to the other. It is enough merely to name them. - -“Mr. Smith, Mr. Robinson.” Or: “Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Brown.” - -It is a part of good tact on the part of a host or hostess in making -introductions to add a few words of explanation as to some particular -interest of each, which may be of assistance to them at the beginning -of their conversation. - -In every instance, the greatest care should be taken by the person -making an introduction to pronounce both names with the utmost -clearness. Nothing is more annoying than an indistinct mumble that -leaves the hearers uninformed. - -When, for any reason, one fails to understand a stranger’s name at the -time of introduction, it is permissible to ask it. - -“Pardon me, but I did not understand the name.” - -There are some variations that should be noted as to the manner of -acknowledging an introduction. In her own home, a woman should offer -her hand, while saying, “Mrs. Smith, I am very glad to meet you,” or -any similar phrase of cordial greeting. But such a cordial phrase is -not to be used by a woman when a man is presented to her, unless she is -the hostess. A man, on the contrary, on receiving his introduction to -a lady, should express his appreciation in a courteous sentence. - -“I am very glad to meet you, Miss Robinson.” - -The tendency to-day is toward elimination of handshaking by women on -the occasion of an introduction, except in the case of a hostess. A -slight bow of the head, a smile and the repetition of the stranger’s -name are deemed enough. But many women still prefer a less formal -manner, and give their hand when an introduction is made. - -It is the duty of a hostess to stand up when receiving an introduction. -This applies equally whether the stranger is a man or a woman. But a -woman other than the hostess, when a member of a group, remains seated -during any introduction to her unless it is of one her superior in -age or station, whom she should honor by rising. Otherwise, it is -preferable for a woman to stand in acknowledging an introduction of -one of her own sex, though she should remain seated when a man is -presented to her. - -In England, it is usual to omit introductions among those gathered -in the same house, and guests are expected to conduct themselves as -acquaintances without this formality. In our country, however, the -custom has not prevailed to any considerable extent, and it is not -ordinarily proper for strangers to address each other without having -been introduced, even though they are fellow-guests. - -A hostess should introduce all her guests one to another at ordinary -dinner-parties, luncheons, or breakfasts. But, in the case of very -large dinner-parties, she is required only to introduce those who -are to be partners at table, though it is advisable for her to make -other introductions to any extent convenient. At the table, however, -introductions should be carefully avoided. If the women leave the table -before the men, other introductions may be made among them in the -drawing-room. The men, too, on returning to the drawing-room may be -presented to such women as they have not already met. - -When a hostess receives at home, she should introduce each new arrival -to some of the guests who are near by. If she has an assistant in -receiving, each guest should be presented. On formal occasions, it is -not her duty to go about among the guests in order to introduce them. - -The hostess at a large ball follows a similar course of conduct. But -in less formal affairs she should be at pains to see that no guest is -neglected, and that each, as far as possible, has a due share in the -dancing. - -It is especially desirable on all formal occasions, such as large balls -for example, that a man wishing to present a friend to a woman should -first privately ask her permission. - -Introductions of a very casual sort should never be taken too -seriously. This applies particularly to those made in a public place, -such as the street, when a person accompanied by a friend meets an -acquaintance, who is a stranger to that friend, and there is a pause -for a brief chat. Usually, there is no occasion for an introduction -under these circumstances, and if one is made it may be afterward -ignored. As a matter of fact, only a rather extensive conversation -between the acquaintances would justify an introduction. Perfunctory -introductions of those temporarily associated in a game on the tennis -court, or the like, are to be regarded as equally casual, and not of a -sort necessitating subsequent recognition. - -Introductions may be formally made by letter. In such case, the letter -should deal exclusively with the introduction. There is no set form, -but the following will serve as a sufficient guide, to be varied -according to personal inclination: - - _Burlington, Vermont._ - _June 1, 1919._ - - _My dear Mrs. Smith:_ - - _It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you my - friend, Miss Truesdale, who is about to visit relatives - in your city. I shall deeply appreciate any courtesy - you may show her._ - - _With kindest regards to yourself and Mr. Smith, I am,_ - - _Yours sincerely, - Mabel Potter_ - -A similar form will suffice for the introduction of a man, whether to -another man or to a woman. Discretion should be exercised always in the -granting of letters of introduction, and it is well to write a separate -letter giving details concerning the person thus introduced. The letter -of introduction itself should be placed in an addressed envelope, -which is left unsealed, to be presented in person by the one to be -introduced. - -Instead of a letter, a common practise uses the visiting-card of the -person making the introduction. In such case, a line is written across -the top of the card. - - _Introducing Mr. Russell Elliot_ - -This card also is enclosed within its proper envelope, duly addressed, -but unsealed, and delivered to the person for whose benefit it is given. - -It is common for a man to call at the residence of the person to -whom the introduction is addressed, and there give the envelope, -still unsealed, to the servant, together with his own card. In the -absence of the host or hostess, the caller places his own card inside -the envelope, which is then sealed, and left. A woman never follows -this procedure. She places her card in the envelope containing the -introduction, which is then sealed, and dropped in the post for -delivery. - -One receiving such a letter of introduction, whether man or woman, is -expected, if the bearer is a woman, to call on her within two days’ -time, and to follow this up with some sort of hospitable entertainment. -If, for any imperative reason, a call is impossible, a letter should be -written in explanation. - -The like procedure is followed when both parties are men. But when a -man presents such a letter of introduction to a woman, she does not, of -course, call upon him, but writes to extend her hospitable offers. - - - - -LETTERS - - -THE MOST TROUBLESOME detail in letter-writing is the matter of -address. It should be noted that there is a distinction between -_Dear_ and _My dear_. In our country, the more formal style is with -the pronoun, while the pronoun is omitted in writing to friends. -A letter to a mere acquaintance begins with the words, _My dear_ -............................. But the form for an intimate is simply -_Dear_ ............................. - -The usual address for business purposes and to those with whom no -social relations are established is _Dear Sir_. The plural is used in -addressing firms, _Dear Sirs_, or the one word _Gentlemen_, may be -employed. - -In addressing a man with whom social relations are established, the -surname is used, preceded by _Dear_ or _My dear_, according to the -degree of intimacy. _My dear Mr. Hudson; Dear Mr. Grant._ - -A woman who is a stranger may be addressed either as _Madam_ or _Dear -Madam_, whether she be married or unmarried. The form “_Dear Miss_” is -to be avoided under all circumstances. - -For the woman with whom the writer is formally acquainted, the -address is: _My dear Mrs._ .............................., if she is -married, and _My dear Miss_ ............................, if she is -unmarried. When the person is a friend, she should be addressed: _Dear -Mrs._ ................, if she is a married woman, and _Dear Miss_ -............................, if she is unmarried. - -The full name should be signed to formal letters. The married woman -should use her own Christian name, not her husband’s with the _Mrs._ -prefixed. But, in business communications to strangers, she may very -properly give her husband’s name with the prefix _Mrs._, below her -usual signature, and inclosed in parenthesis. - -Similarly, for the sake of clearness, a business letter by an unmarried -woman may have _Miss_ in parenthesis before the name. - -Envelopes should be addressed to the recipient with the full name and -necessary prefix—-_Mr._, _Mrs._, or _Miss_. - -The _Mr._, however, must be omitted if _Esq._ is written after the -name. The English custom limits the use of Esquire to those who are -technically gentlemen. For example, _Esq._ is placed after the name -in addressing a barrister, but it must not be used in writing to a -tradesman, who is given only the prefix _Mr._ - -The prefix _Mr._ is used when Junior or Senior is indicated after the -name by an abbreviation. In such case, _Esq._ must never be written. - -It must be noted also that in the case of addresses, as with cards, to -which attention has already been given, the husband’s title must not -be given to the wife. _Mrs. Colonel_, _Mrs. Doctor_, _Mrs. Professor_, -and the like, are barbarisms, which are not tolerated in America or -England. The Germans, however, use them. - -The phrase before the signature to a letter varies according to the -circumstances, and especially according to the individual taste. -Thus, in concluding a very formal communication, it is quite proper -to use the old-fashioned wording, _I am, my dear Madam, your obedient -servant_. An ordinary convenient form that covers a wide field is, -_I remain_, _Yours sincerely_, or _Yours faithfully_, or _Yours -cordially_, writing _I remain_ on one line, and the _Yours_, etc., on -the line below. Thus: - - _I remain, - Yours sincerely,_ - -_Yours truly_, or _Very truly yours_, is best reserved for business -communications. _Yours respectfully_ is applicable for business -communications, and also for letters addressed to superiors, and for -use generally as a rather meaningless style. - -Men of exalted position are commonly addressed as _Sir_ without any -qualifying word. And the form in ending is, _I have, Sir, the honor to -remain Your most obedient servant_—_Your_, etc., forming a separate -line. - -A letter of a social sort would begin, _My dear Mr. President_. - -The like form would suffice for the vice-president, except for a letter -of social character, when he should be addressed by name, _My dear Mr. -........................_. - -A justice of the supreme court, a senator, a member of the house of -representatives, a cabinet officer, the governor of a state, etc., all -have the same formal _Sir_ as the address and the corresponding phrase -in conclusion. But there is variation in the address when the letter -is of social import. The justice may be addressed _My dear Justice -................._, or _Dear Mr. Justice ................._. - -The senator is addressed _My dear Senator ......................._. The -representative in congress is addressed _My dear Mr. ................_. - -On the envelope, the forms are respectively _Mr. Justice -..................._, _Senator ......................._, _Hon. -.............._ (for the congressman). - -The social letter to a cabinet officer addresses him by name, _My dear -................._, and has on the envelope _Hon._ preceding the name -and his official designation following it. - -A governor is usually addressed _My dear Governor -......................._. And the envelope should have the title -preceding the name. - -In all cases except that of the President, the conclusion of a social -letter is a simple form such as, _I remain, Yours very sincerely_. - -A mayor is addressed either as _Sir_, or _Your Honor_, in formal -communications, and as _My dear Mayor ................._ in social -correspondence. The envelope properly gives him a full designation, -_His Honor the Mayor of ...................._. The name follows, -written on a lower line. - -The form of address is the same for both official and social letters -in the case of a Roman Catholic archbishop: _Most Reverend and Dear -Sir_. The conclusion should run: _I have the honor to remain Your -obedient servant_—_Your_, etc., being written on a lower line. The -envelope carries _The Most Reverend ......................., Archbishop -of .................._. - -All letters to a cardinal begin _Your Eminence_. The conclusion is the -same as to an archbishop. The envelope reads _His Eminence Cardinal -........................_. - -For a Roman Catholic bishop all letters begin _Right Reverend and -Dear Sir_. The conclusion is that used for the preceding prelates. -On the envelope: _The Right Reverend .................., Bishop of -..........._. - -A Protestant bishop, also, is addressed _Right Reverend and Dear -Sir_ officially, but a social letter begins _My dear Bishop -...................._. The conclusion may take the form given for Roman -Catholic dignitaries, but for social letters it is sufficient to write, -_I remain Yours sincerely_. The envelope reads: _The Right Reverend -................, Bishop of ............................_. - -Both priests and Protestant clergymen are officially addressed: -_Reverend and Dear Sir_. But, in a social letter, the beginning -is _Dear Father .................._, in the case of a priest; -while the Protestant minister is addressed as _Dear Mr. -........................_, or _Dear Doctor ...................._, if -he has such a title. The conclusion for either need be no more than: -_I remain, Yours very sincerely_. The envelope bears, _The Reverend -......................_. - -The possession of degrees may be indicated by writing the proper -initials after the name. Where the clergyman has the degree of Doctor, -this is sometimes used as an abbreviation preceding the name—_The -Reverend Dr. ........................._. - - - - -LUNCHEONS - - -THE ETIQUETTE for a luncheon is essentially the same as that for a -breakfast, which has already been described. But the luncheon at -present enjoys a popularity that is distinctive in one respect: -it serves conveniently very often as a function wholly for the -entertainment of feminine guests. - -The usual hour for a luncheon is from one to two o’clock. The -invitations, unless the affair is to be quite informal, should be sent -out ten days before the date set. As in the case of a breakfast, the -invitation may be sent on a visiting-card, writing below the name: - - _Luncheon at one o’clock - April the fourth_ - -For an especially formal affair, the invitation should be engraved -on square white cards of large size, similar to those employed for -dinner-invitations. - - _Mrs. George Vinton Thorne - - requests the pleasure of - - ........................................ - - company at luncheon - - on .............................. - - at .......................... o’clock - - Eleven Green Street_ - -A note written in the first person may convey the invitation, if the -hostess prefers this manner. - -The acceptance or refusal of an invitation may be in the third person, -following the examples given in the chapter on dinners, or it may be -written as a note in the first person. In either case, the method used -in the invitation itself must govern the style of the reply. - -At the more formal luncheon, the menu may be elaborate, with oysters, -bouillon, fish, and other courses following to any desired extent, -but care must be taken always that the general character of the -viands served must not be oversubstantial. The meal should be of a -distinctively lighter sort as compared with dinner. - -The women guests usually wear their most effective frocks. Wraps are -left in the cloak-room provided, or, if this is lacking, in the hall. -The hats are not removed, but the veil is either pushed up out of the -way, or removed, according to the wearer’s pleasure. The gloves are -taken off after arrival at table, and left in the lap, covered by the -napkin. - -A guest should remain for at least half an hour after the completion -of the meal, and from this minimum of time up to an hour or perhaps a -little longer, according to the particular circumstances. - -The farewell of each guest should, of course, contain some phrase -expressing appreciation of the hospitality enjoyed. - - - - -MOURNING - - -THERE IS ROOM for so much variety in the expression of personal tastes -as to the matter of mourning that hard-and-fast rules are of doubtful -value. There is, however, some degree of exactness as to the dress -suitable for widows, although, even in this connection, individual -choice and the changes of fashion exert their influence to the display -of differing modes. - -The widow’s mourning may be divided into three periods, termed -respectively first, second and third. - -The first mourning includes the entire costume in black. Usually, -the material of the dress is of worsted, with a trimming of crêpe. -The black bonnet is of crêpe, and from it hangs a long veil, also of -crêpe. Formerly, these veils were of extreme length, reaching even to -the hem of the gown. The tendency has been, however, toward shortening -the veil, and the present fashion insists on only a moderate length. -Another veil, worn over the face, was formerly both long and heavy, but -the style has been modified, and at present it is of lighter texture -and of much briefer proportions. The bonnet has white ruching within -the front edge, and the gown is trimmed with sheer white cuffs, and a -collar of the same material. - -The gloves must be of dull black, and ornaments of dull jet, with a -black-bordered handkerchief. - -This first mourning should be worn for a full year. A change may then -be made to second mourning, in which the dress may be of crêpe de chine -or dull silk, with a hat carrying black chiffon, etc., and ornaments of -dull jet. - -The third mourning is assumed after another six months. In this white -and lilac are permitted to relieve the somberness of the attire. This -mourning is worn for a period of six months, also, after which colors -may be resumed. - -It should be noted that the white ruche on the bonnet is the one -distinctive feature of the first mourning that designates the wearer as -a widow. A woman may wear exactly the same costume, with the exception -of this white ruche on the bonnet, in the mourning for a parent, a -child, a brother or a sister. - -The period for wearing mourning in such case, and the changes in it, -may follow the details given above for widows. - -Mourning for a parent-in-law is black, with the crêpe omitted. This is -worn for only a month, and is followed by any preferred combinations of -black and white, relieved by lilac, for a fortnight or a little longer. - -The mourning for close relatives worn by a young unmarried woman does -not include the bonnet and veil. Instead, a hat trimmed with crêpe is -worn, and a black net veil over the face is trimmed with crêpe. After -six months or a year, the crêpe is omitted from hat and veil, and also -from the gown. Black and white and lilac are then deemed suitable. -Usually, however, the older unmarried women wear the veil and bonnet of -the first mourning, as do widows, but with the white ruche omitted. - -Mourning is not usually adopted when the death is of relatives-in-law -or of a grandparent. - -Three months is ordinarily sufficient for mourning in the case of an -uncle or aunt, and it does not include crêpe. Ornaments may be worn, -though preferably of a very quiet sort. - -In general, it is well to bear in mind that mourning should not be -worn except for the members of one’s immediate family. Of course, the -particular circumstances in each case must be a determining factor. For -example, while mourning is not customarily worn for a cousin, yet a -girl who had made a home with such a relative might appropriately wear -mourning as for her own mother. - -Crêpe is not deemed suitable for girls not yet old enough for a formal -entrance into society, and children should be spared the lugubrious -trappings of woe in every case. But a girl about sixteen years of age, -on the death of a member of the family, appropriately wears a black -dress, relieved only by touches of white, and a black hat, with dull -black ribbons. She should leave off jewelry, but she should not carry a -handkerchief with black border. - -The mourning for a widower is often divided into two periods. During -the first, black is worn throughout in the costume, with white linen. -The hat-band is of crêpe. The present tendency is to make this band -much narrower than it was of yore. It is left off altogether after -a year, or perhaps eight months, as the second mourning begins. The -second mourning permits the use of gray and white in the costume. A -man’s mourning for a child, parent, brother or sister may continue for -a full year, or it may be put off after six months according to his -choice. The mourning includes a hat-band of crêpe. If a man wishes to -wear mourning for a more distant relative, he may use the black and -white and gray of the widower’s second period, but men ordinarily do -not assume mourning for any except closest relations. - -A mourning band on the sleeve is sometimes worn by men, but it is -impossible to describe its significance from the standpoint of -propriety, since it is worn equally for those most closely related and -for those most distantly, without distinction, and since it is a custom -derived originally from England, where it serves as a cheap method of -providing mourning liveries for servants. - -After the loss of a close relation, a woman pays no calls for six -months. After that time, she may visit her intimates, but not on their -at-home days. She may also attend concerts and theater matinées and -the like, in a very quiet way. After a year, she may appear at small -dinners, and at the theater in the evening, and the like. But box -parties and all the elaborate functions, such for example as balls, -must not be resumed until the period of mourning has expired. - -Elderly women are likely to prefer a mourning garb for the remainder -of their lifetime, after the death of a husband. In such cases, after -perhaps two years, the widow’s bonnet and veil are given up, and nun’s -veiling is substituted. While the gown remains black, the crêpe is -omitted from it, and the mourning handkerchief is no longer carried. -Jewelry is worn, but not of an ostentatious kind. - - - - -MUSICALES - - -THE MUSICALE is merely a formal at home where music is made a special -feature of the entertainment. Throughout, the procedure is that of an -at home, and the details are to be found in full in the chapter under -that heading. The only formal difference is in the wording of the -invitation, which makes mention of music as the feature. - -The invitations are engraved, and may take either of the two usual -forms, according to the choice of the hostess. - - _Mrs. George H. Baxter - - requests the pleasure of - - ....................................... - - company - - at a musicale - - on Friday evening, May first - - at half-past nine o’clock - - Twenty-seven Maple Street_ - -Or the at-home form may be used as follows: - - _Mr. and Mrs. George H. Baxter - - At Home - - Friday evening, May first - - at half-past nine o’clock - - Twenty-seven Maple Street - - Music_ - -Such an affair in the evening is often of the most elaborate character, -and is essentially a concert. But a musicale may be given with equal -propriety in the afternoon. The form for engraved invitations is -precisely the same, with the single exception of the hours named, for -the afternoon entertainment specifies the time as _from four until -seven o’clock_. - -For a less formal occasion, a hostess may extend her invitations by -sending a visiting-card, on which she writes, below her name, _Friday, -May first, four to seven o’clock_, and underneath this the single word -_Music_. Or in place of the word _Music_, she may write _To hear_ -.............. adding the name of a particular performer. - -The obligations of the guests follow in all respects those to which -attention has been already given under the title “At Homes.” Thus, in -the matter of costumes, the usage resembles that explained concerning -correct garb for both afternoon and evening receptions in the earlier -chapter. - -It might be well to emphasize the fact that no direct reply is required -for an invitation announcing that the hostess will be at home on a -certain date. But the case is quite otherwise when that form of -invitation is employed which requests the pleasure of the guest’s -company. This demands a prompt answer, whether of acceptance or of -refusal, which should be couched in the third person. Thus: - - _Mr. and Mrs. Henry Sage Beckett - - accept with pleasure - - Mrs. Baxter’s kind invitation - - for May first - - Nineteen Wentworth Square - - April twenty-first, 1919_ - -Or, in the event of inability to accept, or disinclination, the answer -should run as follows: - - _Mr. and Mrs. Henry Sage Beckett - - regret that a previous engagement - - prevents their acceptance - - of Mrs. Baxter’s kind invitation - - for May first - - Nineteen Wentworth Square - - April twenty-first, 1919_ - - - - -OPERA - - -A SUFFICIENT FORM for an invitation to an opera party will be found in -the chapter on the theater, which needs only a verbal change to specify -the particular performance at the opera instead of at the playhouse. -In general, also, the procedure suited to attendance at the theater -is to be followed in connection with the opera. But there are certain -differences that should be regarded. - -The dress for the opera is more formal than for the theater, generally -speaking. The man, for example, usually keeps his white gloves on. The -woman, for her part, wears a gown that is sleeveless and decolleté, and -displays jewels according to her means or taste. An aigrette takes the -place of the hat that may be worn to the theater. Nevertheless, it is -quite permissible for a woman occupying a stall in the orchestra at the -opera to wear a costume of the sort commonly seen at the theater. - -Visiting at the opera is a distinctive feature, facilitated as it is -by the number of boxes, so greatly in excess of those with which the -theater is supplied. For it is with the boxes that this visiting is -chiefly concerned, though it reaches to some extent to the orchestra -stalls. - -Between acts is the proper time for such calls, which are usually, but -not exclusively, paid by men. A gentleman may call on a lady of his -acquaintance in a box, though she is a guest of a host or hostess who -is not known to him. In such case, the woman to whom he pays the visit -must introduce him to her entertainer. But an introduction of the sort -is merely formal, and entails no necessity of subsequent recognition by -either party. - -No more than five minutes, or even less, should be given to -such calls, but some discretion is permitted by the particular -circumstances. Thus, where there are many coming and going, the time -should be shorter than when there are few other visitors, or none. The -call should never extend beyond the end of the intermission. - -Since an opera box is equipped with a vestibule of its own, the -women do not leave their wraps in the cloak-room, but wait until -their arrival at the box, when they are taken off in the vestibule. -Afterward, on entering the box, the chaperon and other older women -precede the younger, and are offered the choice of seats. But they -usually prefer the less conspicuous positions, and the chairs at -the rail are given to the débutantes, or younger matrons. The exact -arrangement is always a matter for the display of tact on the part of -host or hostess. - -Visiting among the stalls is necessarily more limited, but is practised -to any extent rendered convenient by location. - -In such visiting, the ordinary amenities of social intercourse are to -be observed. The men, for example, must stand when a lady enters the -box in which they are seated, and they should remain standing until her -departure, or until she has taken a chair. - - - - -PRIVATE THEATRICALS - - -PRIVATE THEATRICALS are usually the feature of an evening function. - -The form of invitation is exactly the same as for a musicale, with the -one exception in substituting _Theatricals at ten o’clock_. The phrase -appears thus in the at-home form of announcement. When the invitation -requests the pleasure of the guest’s company, _At Private Theatricals_ -is preferred as the descriptive statement. - -On occasions when the theatricals are to be followed by a dance, the -word _Dancing_ is added at the bottom of the card. - -The letters _R.s.v.p._ are commonly employed in connection with such -invitations, and their appearance on the card emphasizes the necessity -of a written reply. - - - - -RECEPTIONS - - -ALL DETAILS of the etiquette that has to do with receptions, whether -they are held in the afternoon or in the evening, are carefully -described in the chapter treating various forms of the at home. - - - - -SMOKING - - -A GUEST in the home of another must not smoke unless invited to do so -by host or hostess. - -A man in the presence of a lady must not smoke unless he asks for, and -receives, permission to do so. - -A man should not smoke when walking with a woman in public. - -A man must not converse while holding cigar, pipe, or cigarette in his -mouth. - - - - -STAIRS - - -IN A FORMER generation, women hid their ankles, and gave brief glimpses -of them only by accident or naughty design. It was then required of a -gentleman that he should precede a lady in ascending stairs. To-day, -fashion has cleared away all mystery concerning feminine ankles, and a -gentleman is permitted to follow the lady as she mounts the stairs. - - - - -STREET ETIQUETTE - - -WHEN A MAN and woman walk together in the street, the man’s proper -position is usually on the side toward the curb, and he maintains this -place also when walking with two women. He should never station himself -between them, unless under the informal circumstances of a country -road, or the like. - -In the day time, a man does not offer a woman his arm when they walk -together, though of course he should give her the support of his hand -under her elbow when such assistance is obviously required, as in -mounting the steps of a car. But in the evening a man properly offers -his arm to a woman when they are to walk together, and she lays her -hand on his forearm. They should never hook arms. - -When a man and woman who are acquainted with each other meet in the -street, it is the woman’s place to extend recognition by a nod and -smile, which latter varies from coldness to warmth according to -her will. On receiving such recognition, for which in any formal -acquaintance he must wait, the man raises his hat, and at the same time -bows. - -When a man is walking with a woman, he must salute in the same fashion -any others that pass who recognize either himself or his companion, -except that where the person is not an acquaintance of his own, he -merely lifts his hat without bowing. - -When a man encounters a woman on the street, and wishes to talk with -her, he should not detain her, but with her permission should turn and -walk beside her. The woman, however, is privileged thus to retain the -man in conversation, but she should withdraw to one side, out of the -way of passers-by. - -In escorting a woman in a car, the man should assist her to enter, and -then follow. But in leaving, he precedes her and descends first, then -turning to help her down. - -Good sense must determine the precise conduct for propriety in various -circumstances. Ordinarily, where a couple cannot well walk side by -side, the man follows behind the woman. But where the way is difficult -for any reason, he goes in advance—as, for example, when it becomes -necessary to force the way through a crowd. - -Some men make a point of standing uncovered throughout the length of -any conversation with a woman in the street. This mode is not to be -encouraged, especially in the inclement northern winter. Merely raising -the hat at meeting and again at parting is quite sufficient. - - - - -TABLE MANNERS - - -DEPORTMENT AT TABLE is the most important single item in the total of -good manners. Yet, the requirements are very simple—so simple indeed -that there is little excuse for those who fail in them. - -It should hardly be necessary to say that the position must be one of -well-balanced erectness. A man’s hands should be kept in his lap when -not busy. So of a woman’s—formerly. Of recent years, a new custom has -crept in, and it is common to see a woman’s forearm or elbow resting at -ease on the table. - -The napkin is only partly unfolded, and laid across the lap. In the -case of a woman, it covers her gloves, which she has taken off on -seating herself. At the end of the meal, the crumpled napkin is laid -beside the plate. But, when making an extended stay with friends, the -napkin is folded if the host and hostess fold theirs in preparation for -use at another meal. - -The knife is employed only for cutting purposes, being then held in the -right hand. It is afterward put down, while the fork is transferred -to the right hand for passing food to the mouth. When not in use both -knife and fork are left on the plate. They should not be held in the -hands, or laid down on the table. They are to remain on the plate also -if it is sent for another helping. When eating is ended, knife and fork -are laid together on the plate—parallel, points to the center, and the -fork tines down. - -The fork should be used throughout with the tines downward. It is only -used spoon-fashion for small vegetables such as peas. The fork rather -than a spoon should be used for eating ices, melons, and the like. It -is used to fold lettuce and other salad leaves, which must not be cut -with a knife. - -The knife is used only for cutting, and is afterward laid down on the -plate. - -Beverages in glasses or cups are tested by sipping from a spoon, which -is then laid down. Afterward one drinks directly from the container. -The spoon must never be allowed to stand in a cup or glass. For taking -soup, the spoon is pushed forward, not drawn toward one. The soup plate -is never tipped. The liquid must be taken into the mouth from the side -of the spoon never from the end. - -Boiled eggs are properly eaten with a spoon, of course, as are jellies, -custards and the like, grape-fruit and various fruits served with -cream, and cereals. - -A finger-bowl is properly used on finishing a fruit course. A slight -rinsing of the finger-tips suffices, after which they are wiped on the -napkin. - -Butter is not served at formal dinners. - -At all other meals a special plate is laid for bread and butter, and -a small knife of silver for spreading the butter. The bread is broken -with the fingers, a mouthful at a time and separately buttered. Cake is -eaten either in the fingers or with a fork. - -Cheese is cut into small pieces. Each piece is placed on a mouthful of -bread or cracker, and then eaten from the fingers. - -Apples, pears, etc., are quartered, peeled, cut in mouthfuls, and -then eaten from the fingers. Smaller fruits with pits are eaten from -the fingers. Each pit is taken from the mouth in the closed hand and -deposited on the plate. - -Asparagus is eaten with a fork. That part of the stalk not easily cut -by the fork is left. But burr artichokes are eaten from the fingers a -leaf at a time, after it has been dipped in the sauce. Only the heart -demands the use of a fork. - -Celery, olives and radishes are eaten from the fingers. So, also, are -crystallized fruits, almonds and other nuts. - -When leaving the table at the conclusion of a meal elsewhere than in -one’s own house, the chair is left without being pushed back close to -the table. - - - - -TEAS - - -IN THE COUNTRY, where the dinner is in the middle of the day, the -evening meal is called either supper or tea, and an invitation to tea -ordinarily means an invitation to the evening meal. In England, where -afternoon tea-serving is universal among all classes, the evening meal -is frequently designated high tea. - -The proprieties concerning afternoon tea are explained in the chapter -entitled, “At Homes.” - - - - -THEATER-PARTIES - - -WHEN A THEATER-PARTY is to be given, it is not customary to use the -engraved form of invitations, but notes written in the first person -suffice. - - _97 Hamilton Street, - May 1, 1919_ - - _My dear Miss Hammer:_ - - _Will you give me the pleasure of dining with me on - Wednesday evening of next week, at seven o’clock, and - of afterward witnessing the new play at the Brooke - Theater?_ - - _In the hope that you are free that evening and kindly - disposed toward my invitation, I remain,_ - - _Yours sincerely, - Mary Holmes_ - -To such an invitation, the guest should return an immediate reply, -either of acceptance or rejection, written in the first person, after -the manner of the other missive. - -It is within the discretion of the host or hostess to secure orchestra -seats, or a box. Care should be taken, in the case of a box, not to -have a sufficient number of guests to cause crowding. The invitations -should be sent out about a week before the evening of the party, but a -longer or shorter notice is permissible. A bachelor may find it more -convenient to give his invitations in person, orally, and such laxity -is allowable on his part. - -The giver of the entertainment may use his or her discretion in having -attendance on the play preceded by an early dinner-party, which may -include all or only a part of his guests; or having it followed by -a supper-party. Or the theater alone may be deemed a sufficient -entertainment. - -Very often, a host orders an omnibus to collect his guests for a -theater-party and to carry them to the theater, and back home after -the performance. If this is done, the invitation should specify the -fact, and notify the guest of the exact time of the omnibus’s arrival. - -When a man invites an unmarried woman to be his companion at the -theater, he is expected also to invite another woman, either a relation -or friend, according to circumstances, who shall act as chaperon. -But this rule is not too strictly enforced where a friendship exists -between a man and a spinster of mature age. - -It is the duty of the man to call in person for his guests, and to -provide them with fitting transportation to and from the theater. On -their arrival at the theater, if the women leave their wraps in the -cloak-room, he also should check his hat and coat. He allows the ladies -to precede him, and inside the theater secures programs for them, and -then gives his checks to the usher. The usher now leads the way, with -the ladies following and the host bringing up the rear. If he has -retained his coat and hat, he places his hat under the seat and lays -the folded coat over the back of the chair or holds it across his -knees. He is careful always to retain the checks during the evening -since lack of them might prove embarrassing if any error has been made -in the seating arrangements, as sometimes happens. - -A man thus escorting ladies to the theater properly remains with them -throughout the performance. The only justifiable excuse for leaving -them for a few minutes is when he occupies an aisle seat, and then only -when during an intermission a friend comes to pay his respects, who can -take his place until the rising of the curtain. - -The man wears evening dress for the theater. He should by no means -appear in a tailless coat when acting as an escort for ladies, or when -a guest in a party that includes ladies. He is permitted, however, to -remove his gloves on arrival at the theater. The silk hat is often -inconvenient for theater purposes, and for that reason the crush hat -has been preferred. But this folding form of headgear has lost its -vogue to a great extent, and there is a growing tendency toward the use -of a black soft hat for such evening wear. - -The more usual form of woman’s dress is not the decolleté of the -ball-gown, but a less extreme style, with sleeves. It is, of course, of -such elegance as to suit the occasion. But the low-neck and sleeveless -gown is frequently to be seen, more especially in the boxes. - -With the less formal costume, a hat is worn. This and the veil may be -removed in the cloak-room, or, if the wrap is retained, it may be kept -on until the seat is reached. The outer garment is then folded and laid -over the back of the chair. After having seated herself, the woman then -unpins her veil and removes it, together with the hat, and these are -afterward held in the lap. - -If the arrival at the theater is a little late, and the wraps are not -left in the cloak-room, it is the part of good taste to remove them -before passing down the aisle to the seats. Otherwise, their removal -becomes an unpleasant interruption to those seated near by. - -This same matter of consideration for the rights of others is the -reason why it is necessary that the hats should be removed, since -it would shut off the view of the stage from those seated behind. -It should be borne in mind always, also, that this consideration -for others should extend to the matter of conversation during the -performance, which must be rigidly suppressed. Care ought to be taken -in every respect lest there be an impolite intrusion on the rights of -others. - -If there is supper in a restaurant after the play, the wraps should -be left in the cloak-room as a rule, but a woman may retain one of a -sort that is not cumbersome, according to her pleasure. The hat is not -removed for the meal. The veil may either be pushed up or taken off -according to the individual preference. The gloves are removed after -the party is seated at table, and kept in the lap under the napkin -until the conclusion of the meal. They are put on again before leaving -the table. - - - - -WEDDINGS - - -THE WEDDING-INVITATIONS are sent out fully two weeks before the -marriage, at least, and they may be sent earlier, up to a limit of two -months. - -The invitation is engraved on white paper, of which there is a double -sheet. The invitation itself must occupy only the first page. An -average size is between seven and eight inches in length and about an -inch less in width. Script is usually preferred. The invitation is -folded once and placed in an unsealed envelope with the guest’s name -written on it. Another envelope is used to contain this, on which are -written both the name and address, and it is sealed for delivery by -post or messenger. - -It should be borne in mind that, while husband and wife are joined in -a single invitation, other members of the family must be separately -invited, except that more than one daughter may be included under the -designation _The Misses ...................._, and similarly more than -one son, _The Messrs. ...................._. Otherwise, a daughter -receives an individual invitation, as does also a son. - -In cities, on the occasion of church weddings where strangers often -intrude, it is common to inclose with the invitation a small card -inscribed: - - _Please present this card at - - the Church of the Incarnation - - on Tuesday, June the first_ - -A standard form for the wording of the invitation is as follows: - - _Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson - - request the honor of your presence - - at the marriage of their daughter - - Harriet - - to - - Mr. James Meade Trowbridge - - on Tuesday afternoon, June the first - - at half-past three o’clock - - The Church of the Incarnation - - Baltimore_ - -The invitations are issued in the names of the bride’s parents, or, -lacking them, in the name of her nearest relative, unless this should -be an unmarried sister. When the invitations are issued by a brother, -his name only may be used, even though he is married. But where the -relation is a married woman, the name of the husband also appears on -the invitations. Such invitations issued by some one other than the -parents follow the form given above exactly, save that the full name of -the bride must be given instead of her Christian name alone, and, of -course, the proper relationship must be indicated by a word substituted -for _daughter_. - -It is usual, when the bride is a step-daughter, to specify the -relationship in the invitation. Thus, in the form given above, if -Harriet were the daughter of Mrs. Hudson by a previous marriage, the -phrase would run, _at the marriage of Mrs. Hudson’s daughter, Harriet -Blake Rothwell_. If she were the daughter of Mr. Hudson, the phrase -would be, _at the marriage of Mr. Hudson’s daughter, Harriet_. - -The invitations to either a wedding-breakfast or reception is inclosed -with the invitation to the ceremony, but the engraved card is of the -ordinary size. - - _Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson - - request the pleasure of - - .......................... - - company - - on Tuesday, June first - - at half-past twelve o’clock - - Thirty-six Fremont Avenue_ - -But often the name is omitted, and the invitation may read simply: - - _Reception - - From four o’clock - - Thirty-six Fremont Avenue_ - -The initials _R.s.v.p._ may be used in the lower left-hand corner of -either form. - -The only essential difference in the form of the invitation to -a home-wedding is that instead of asking for the _honor of your -presence_, the request is for the _pleasure of your company_. Of -course, the home-address must be given at the end, instead of the name -of the church. When the ceremony is to be performed in the presence of -only a limited number of friends, those who are to witness it receive -with their invitation a small engraved card, inscribed _Ceremony at -three o’clock_, or whatever the hour may be. - -Announcement-cards, following the celebration of a quiet wedding, are -sent out on the day of the marriage. The paper used is the same as that -for the invitations. - - _Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson - - have the honor of announcing - - the marriage of their daughter - - Harriet - - to - - Mr. James Meade Trowbridge - - on Tuesday, June the first - - at the Church of The Incarnation_ - -A combination-card of bride and groom, with their address, and perhaps -her at-home day, may be inclosed with the announcement. - -If, for any reason, the announcement-cards are not issued by the -bride’s relatives, they may be sent out by the engaged pair, using the -bride’s maiden name - - _Mr. George Hart Bagot - - and - - Miss Mary Elizabeth Peck - - have the honor of announcing their marriage - - on Monday, June the seventh - - at the Church of The Incarnation - - Albany_ - -Unless the invitation to a wedding carries the letters _R.s.v.p._, -it does not require any reply, but an invitation to the reception or -breakfast should be acknowledged by two visiting-cards, sent to the -bride’s parents, when attendance is not possible or convenient. An -acceptance or declination is written in the third person, and follows -the corresponding form in reference to a dinner-invitation, with the -necessary verbal change, substituting, _wedding-reception of their -daughter_, for _dinner_. - -No acknowledgment is required for announcement-cards; but it is well to -call on, or leave cards for, the bride’s parents. - -It is impossible to state exactly all the details in connection with -the marriage-ceremony, since the variations in personal taste and -circumstances are such that the wedding may be fittingly celebrated in -almost regal state, with a dozen bridesmaids and everything else with -like profusion, or the rite may be carried out with a plainness and -simplicity that yet perhaps yields a significance more touching than -that of the gorgeous spectacle. Each circle in every community has its -own accepted traditions, and it is always better that these should -be followed. The vagaries of fashion may often tempt its votaries to -extravagances in following the fads and fancies of the moment. But -there should be no frivolous tampering with the marriage rite, which is -proclaimed as a sacrament by the church, and should be always esteemed -as the most sacred act in the lives of those who thus make their -covenants together. - -It need only be added that for an evening wedding the bridegroom wears -the regulation evening clothes, while for an hour earlier in the day -his costume includes a frock-coat of black or dark blue, a black or -white waistcoat, and striped trousers of a lighter shade than the coat. -The scarf should be a white ascot, caught with a pearl pin. - -He wears patent-leather shoes and gray suède gloves. A silk hat forms -the headgear to accompany either the evening dress or the other. - -A maiden bride should wear white and a veil of tulle with orange -blossoms. The gown may be decolleté and sleeveless for an evening -wedding. A woman who has been married before may wear any color -pleasing to her, but not white, and she must not veil herself, nor -display the orange blossoms. A train properly distinguishes the -wedding-gown. - -On receipt of an invitation to a wedding, any gift should be sent to -the bride without delay. There is no obligation on the part of a merely -formal acquaintance to send a gift when invited to a church wedding, -but it is permissible. Such an obligation exists for one invited to the -breakfast or reception, as well as one to be among a limited number -present at the actual marriage on the occasion of a home wedding. -Sometimes, those invited to a church wedding compromise by sending -flowers. - -The distinction between the maiden and the matron is again emphasized -in the matter of the bouquet carried by the bride, which for the maiden -should be of white flowers, such as lilies of the valley, while for the -woman it must be at least touched with color—perhaps of orchids. - - - - -[Illustration: “MADE EASY” SERIES] - - -THERE is no royal road to learning. - -IT is an old saying, and a true one, in a sense: for prince and peasant -must alike travel the path. - -YET, there are many paths, and great differences among them, as they -lead to the temple of knowledge. In some, the going is easy: in some, -hard. In some, the journeying is pleasant and profitable: in some, -toilsome—a weary scramble over many stumbling blocks. - -THE builder of the road is the teacher. It is his task to smooth the -way, and to make it straight: or to leave it all cluttered, a twisted, -haphazard course, that runs roughly and reaches nowhere. - -IN the “Made Easy” Series, it has been the publisher’s purpose to -provide for the student the best possible road to learning—a road truly -royal in its simplicity, its worth: a road wide and direct, and free -from foolish, needless litter. - -THE various writers of the books in the series have been chosen for -their special fitness. Such fitness includes, in the first place, -mastery of the particular subject: in the second place, ability to -interpret knowledge to others. - -RIGHT teaching makes easy learning. Few subjects are really hard to -learn, when properly set before the pupil. These volumes are the -product of a painstaking care to simplify every detail of instruction, -yet to make it complete. The result for the student is, indeed, a -learning made easy, yet none the less exact, thorough, wholly adequate -for his needs. - - * * * * * - -_The volumes now ready, or in the course of preparation_—price $1.00 -each—are: - - Arithmetic Made Easy - Spelling Made Easy - Penmanship Made Easy - Grammar Made Easy - Drawing Made Easy - Dressmaking Made Easy - Dancing Made Easy - Etiquette Made Easy - Keeping Young Made Easy - Love Letters Made Easy - Shorthand Made Easy - Bookkeeping Made Easy - Entertaining Made Easy - Tricks and Magic Made Easy - Mental Healing Made Easy - - _Further titles will be added as opportunity presents itself to secure - the proper type of manuscript._ - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Etiquette Made Easy, by Edward Summers Squier - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE MADE EASY *** - -***** This file should be named 51887-0.txt or 51887-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/8/8/51887/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org - - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - diff --git a/old/51887-0.zip b/old/51887-0.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 1abc59f..0000000 --- a/old/51887-0.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h.zip b/old/51887-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index d0480b4..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/51887-h.htm b/old/51887-h/51887-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 65313a1..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/51887-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5047 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=utf-8" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of Etiquette Made Easy, by Edward Summers Squier, M. A. - </title> - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - .faux { - font-size: 0.5em; /*this font size could be anything */ - visibility: hidden;} - -p { - margin-top: .75em; - text-align: justify; - text-indent: 1.25em; - margin-bottom: .75em; -} - - - .maintitle {font-size: 200%; font-weight: bold; text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - .copyright {text-align: center; font-size: 70%; text-indent: 0;} - .author {font-size: 120%; text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - div.chapter {page-break-before: always;} - .sig {margin-right: 10%; text-align: right;} - - - img {border: 0;} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 1em; - margin-bottom: 1em; - margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%} - -ul.booklist { list-style-type: none; margin-left: 25%; font-weight: bold;} - - - -table { - margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; -} - - -.pagenum { /* uncomment the next line for invisible page numbers */ - /* visibility: hidden; */ - position: absolute; - left: 92%; - font-size: smaller; - text-align: right; - font-style: normal; - text-indent: 0;} /* page numbers */ - -.blockquot { - margin-left: 15%; - margin-right: 15%; -} - - -.bbox {border: solid 2px; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; padding-bottom: .5em; padding-top: .5em; - padding-left: .5em; padding-right: .5em;} - -.center {text-align: center; text-indent: 0;} - -.right {text-align: right; text-indent: 0;} - -.smcap {font-variant: small-caps;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - - -/*Drop caps*/ -.drop-cap { - text-indent: 0em; - text-align: justify; -} -.drop-cap:first-letter -{ - float: left; - margin: 0.15em 0.1em 0em 0em; - font-size: 250%; - line-height: 0.5em; -} - -img.drop-cap -{ - float: left; - margin: -1em 0.5em 0 0; -} -.drop-capi { - text-indent: 0em; text-align: justify; -} -.drop-capi:first-letter -{ - color: transparent; - visibility: hidden; - margin-left: -0.9em; -} - -@media handheld -{ - .chapter - { - page-break-before: always; - } - - h2.no-break - { - page-break-before: avoid; - padding-top: 0; - } - - .drop-cap:first-letter - { - float: none; - margin: 0; - font-size: 100%; - } - - img.drop-cap - { - display: none; - } - - .drop-capi:first-letter - { - color: inherit; - visibility: visible; - margin-left: 0; - } -} - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Etiquette Made Easy, by Edward Summers Squier - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Etiquette Made Easy - -Author: Edward Summers Squier - -Release Date: April 29, 2016 [EBook #51887] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE MADE EASY *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<h1 class="faux">ETIQUETTE MADE EASY</h1> -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 541px;"> -<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="541" height="800" alt="cover" /> -</div> -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[1]</a></span></p> - - -<div class="maintitle">ETIQUETTE MADE EASY</div> - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2">[2]</a><br /><a name="Page_3" id="Page_3">[3]</a></span></p> - - - - -<div class="center">Made Easy Series</div> -<div class="center">—————————————————</div> -<div class="maintitle">ETIQUETTE<br /> -MADE EASY</div> - -<div class="center"><br /><br /><br /><br /> -BY<br /> -<span class="author">EDWARD SUMMERS SQUIER, M. A.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> -</div> - - -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 202px;"> -<img src="images/i_151.jpg" width="202" height="187" alt="Emblem: Made Easy Series" /> -</div> - - -<div class="center"><br /><br /><br /> -<small>NEW YORK</small><br /> -EDWARD J. CLODE<br /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_4" id="Page_4">[4]</a></span></p> - - - - -<div class="copyright"> -COPYRIGHT, 1919, BY<br /> -EDWARD J. CLODE<br /> -————<br /> -<i>All rights reserved</i><br /> -————<br /> -<i>Entered at Stationers’ Hall</i><br /><br /><br /><br /> -———————————————<br /> -<small>PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA</small><br /> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_5" id="Page_5">[5]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>PREFACE</h2> - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t.jpg" width="130" height="139" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE POLITEST MAN of -whom history has record -was a Norwegian. A stranger -in a town of Norway -asked a passing native the -way to a certain address. The native raised -his hat, bowed, and said:</p> - -<p>“Sir, I am very sorry, but I do not -know.”</p> - -<p>The stranger passed on. A few minutes -later, he heard the sound of some one running -behind him. He faced about, and -recognized the native, who came, halted, -and after a few deep breaths, said, while -bowing with uplifted hat:</p> - -<p>“Sir, after leaving you, I met my brother-in-law, -and I regret to tell you, Sir, that he -also does not know.”</p> - -<p>In spite of this story with its Norwegian<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6">[6]</a></span> -hero, first place is usually given to the -French in matters of politeness. There is -an old story that illustrates with remarkable -precision the national traits of French, -English and German. This has to do with -the manner of lighting a cigar. The -Frenchman strikes a match, offers the flame -to his companions, then makes a light for -himself. The Englishman lights his own -cigar first, and then offers the match to -his companions. The German lights his -own cigar, then throws the match away. -The brief recital contains something deeper -than mere humor in its analysis of national -characteristics. The consideration of the -Frenchman for others is indeed the essential -basis for all true courtesy. Genuine -politeness has its root always in a very -real regard for the feelings of others.</p> - -<p>The ancient proverb declares that cleanliness -is next to godliness. In fact, so far -as concerns casual associations, cleanliness -is the more important. We have ordinarily -nothing to do with the morals of those<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7">[7]</a></span> -whom we encounter for a few fugitive -moments, but the most fleeting companionship -with a dirty person is offensive, while a -perfect cleanliness is always pleasing in its -effect.</p> - -<p>As a matter of fundamental courtesy -toward others, we are required to keep -ourselves clean. Such cleanliness may be -excellent as a hygienic measure, but one -most eminent physician has declared that -bathing is not essential to health, and he -offers in proof of his assertion the great -number of old persons there are in the -world.</p> - -<p>But those aged unwashed would be -repulsive in refined society. Their condition -would distress others. Quite involuntarily, -they would thus be guilty of -discourtesy.</p> - -<p>The principle of consideration for others -that exalts cleanliness as a virtue is the -principle that actually fashions all the -essential forms of politeness. At a decent -dinner-table, one must not smack his lips,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_8" id="Page_8">[8]</a></span> -or make loud noises in taking soup from -the spoon, for the simple reason that such -behavior will annoy others. Often, a sympathetic -person, absolutely untaught in the -niceties of etiquette, will do the right thing -by a natural instinct of kindliness, where -another individual of polite breeding will -do the wrong from sheer lack of that fellow-feeling -which gives understanding.</p> - -<p>Nevertheless, while the noblest courtesy -must spring always from the heart, -common convenience has settled on definite -methods of deportment for various -occasions. Ignorance of these details as -to proper conduct is not a matter to be -contemned, but one to be regretted, because -a person thus ignorant, no matter -how kindly his intention, must often disturb -others by failure to do the expected -thing in the expected way. In other words, -he lacks knowledge of what are termed the -proprieties. It is with the intention of -offering assistance to those finding themselves -in doubt as to the niceties of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_9" id="Page_9">[9]</a></span> -deportment that this book has been prepared.</p> - -<p>It is arranged with the contents in alphabetical -order, so that the topics are self-indexed.</p> - -<p>In addition to the bulk of information -set forth in the following pages, there needs -only one direction of importance.</p> - -<p>This is based on the ancient saying: -“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” -Practically every community has its local -customs, and these are always to be respected. -There is nothing more snobbish -than criticism by a stranger of social forms -that are well established. It is always his -duty to respect them and to observe them. -Otherwise, he displays that lack of consideration -for others which is the root of -all rudeness. One sympathetically disposed -toward his fellows who avails himself -of the information in this book may -rest confident in the assurance that he is -indeed the possessor of good manners.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_10" id="Page_10">[10]</a><br /><a name="Page_11" id="Page_11">[11]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>CONTENTS</h2> - - - - -<div class="center"> -<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="Contents"> -<tr> -<td align="left"> </td> -<td align="left"><small>PAGE</small></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">At Homes</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_13">13</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Bachelor Hosts</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_23">23</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Balls</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_26">26</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Breakfasts</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_31">31</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Calls</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_34">34</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Cards</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_45">45</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Dinners</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_61">61</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Garden-Parties</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_70">70</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">House-Parties</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_75">75</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Introductions</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_84">84</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Letters</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_95">95</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Luncheons</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_103">103</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Mourning</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_106">106</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Musicales</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_113">113</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Opera</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_117">117</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Private Theatricals</span> </td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_121">121</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Receptions</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_122">122</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Smoking</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_123">123</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Stairs</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_124">124</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Street Etiquette</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_125">125</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Table Manners</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_128">128</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Teas</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_133">133</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Theater-Parties</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_134">134</a></td> -</tr> - -<tr> -<td align="left"><span class="smcap">Weddings</span></td> -<td align="right"><a href="#Page_141">141</a></td> -</tr> -</table> -</div> - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_12" id="Page_12">[12]</a><br /><a name="Page_13" id="Page_13">[13]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>Etiquette Made Easy</h2> - - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> -<h2>AT HOMES</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t.jpg" width="130" height="139" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE AFTERNOON TEA is -perhaps the most popular of -social functions, and deservedly -so, since it is essentially -of the utmost simplicity, yet -may be expanded into a most elaborate -social affair. In the original simple form, -the hostess merely welcomes her guests as -they come to her on her regular day at -home, in the drawing-room, and there -offers them a cup of tea served by herself -and light refreshments of sandwiches and -cakes and the like.</p> - -<p>The next development in the tea is in -the nature of a small afternoon reception,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_14" id="Page_14">[14]</a></span> -or at home. For this occasion, the hostess -issues invitations a week in advance. A -visiting-card serves the purpose, with a -line written below the name:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Wednesday, June fourth<br /> -from four until seven o’clock</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>If there is to be a guest of honor, an additional -line may indicate the fact:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>To meet</i>........................<br /> -</p> - -<p>The procedure for the hostess at a function -of this sort is more formal. It is usual -to have the refreshments in the dining-room, -though they should not be of an -elaborate character. The teapot is placed -at one end of the table, and presided over -by some friend, since the obligations of -the hostess prevent her rendering this hospitable -service in person.</p> - -<p>The third stage of the afternoon tea has -come to take the place of the old-time reception, -though it bears merely the designation -“At Home.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15">[15]</a></span></p> - -<p>The requisite invitations must be sent -out any time from a week to a fortnight -before the date set. For these, an engraved -form is essential. They are printed -on heavy white bristol board, of the quality -described for dinner-invitations, and inclosed -in a single envelope. They may be -issued in the name of the hostess alone, -or in the names of a hostess and her daughter -or daughters, or in the names of husband -and wife—though this last is a very -modern innovation. The following will -serve as a model:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. James French Putnam<br /> -<br /> -At Home<br /> -<br /> -April the seventh<br /> -<br /> -From four until seven o’clock<br /> -<br /> -208 Flagg Avenue</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>If the husband joins with the wife in -issuing the invitations, the only change is -in the first line:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. James French Putnam</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_16" id="Page_16">[16]</a></span></p> - -<p>Where a daughter is to receive with her -mother, the girl’s name appears just below -that of the matron:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. James French Putnam</i><br /> -<i>Miss Putnam</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Where there are two or more daughters -thus associated with the mother, they are -included under one title. Thus:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. James French Putnam</i><br /> -<br /> -<i>The Misses Putnam</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>When a younger sister is to appear at -her début, her name in full is given a -line after those of her mother and elder -sister:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. James French Putnam</i><br /> -<i>Miss Putnam</i><br /> -<i>Miss Helen Louise Putnam</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>In the event of a guest of honor, the -invitation may emphasize the presence -of this personage by a special engraved<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[17]</a></span> -announcement at the head of the invitation:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>To meet</i><br /> -<br /> -......................................<br /> -</p> - -<p>The remainder of the invitation will -follow any of the forms indicated above.</p> - -<p>Or the announcement may appear in one -engraved line at the foot of the invitation:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>To meet</i>................................<br /> -</p> - -<p>At a reception of this character, the hostess -is obliged to remain on duty near the -door of the drawing-room throughout the -hours set. But a husband or daughter -receiving with her, though expected to join -her in receiving the guests at the outset -and for a considerable time afterward, is -not so rigidly held to the one place, but -after a time may properly move about -among the guests with hospitable intent.</p> - -<p>But a débutante must remain at the -post of duty with her mother throughout -the whole time.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[18]</a></span></p> - -<p>In recent years, there has developed a -pleasant custom by which the débutante -invites a number of her young friends to -join her in receiving the other guests. It -is usual to entertain these at dinner after -the reception.</p> - -<p>The refreshments for an occasion of this -sort are served in the dining-room with servants -in attendance. Tea is poured at one -end of the table, and perhaps chocolate at -the other, while a bowl of punch is commonly -at hand. The refreshments are of -the buffet variety, but they may be as -rich and varied as the hostess chooses. At -such functions in the city, it is usual to -lay a strip of carpet from the house door -to the curb, and an awning raised over this -offers protection to the guests in inclement -weather. Where the list of guests is long, -a liveried servant at the curb not only -opens the doors of the motors, but also -issues checks by which the cars may -be summoned for the departure of the -guests.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[19]</a></span></p> - -<p>A butler opens the house door as the -guest approaches, and gives directions as -to the dressing-rooms. Another liveried -servant at the door of the drawing-room -announces each guest by name to the -hostess.</p> - -<p>At such affairs, both hostess and women -guests wear what is properly termed a reception-gown—that -is to say, one of elegance -and richness, with a train if the -prevailing mode permits, but not decolleté -or sleeveless. Hats of a character harmonious -with the gown are worn throughout -the function, as are gloves.</p> - -<p>The men wear black frock coats and -gray striped trousers, with either a black -waistcoat or a fancy one according to -choice. While he leaves his coat and hat -in the dressing-room at such formal affairs, -a man retains his gloves, either keeping -the left glove on the hand, and carrying -the other, or carrying both. The right -hand must be bare.</p> - -<p>Each woman guest leaves on a tray<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[20]</a></span> -provided for that purpose in the hall a -card for her hostess and one for each of -any other women receiving. She may also -leave similarly the cards of any other -woman member of her family who has -been invited, but does not attend.</p> - -<p>The man leaves a card for his host if -there is one, in addition to those for the -ladies.</p> - -<p>No reply is necessary from one invited -to such a reception, either of acceptance -or of refusal. The presence of the guests -is deemed a sufficient answer. In the event -of non-attendance, the guest must be at -pains to send cards, and these should be -so timed in the sending that they will -reach their address on the day of the at -home, preferably in the afternoon.</p> - -<p>At crowded affairs, the guest displays -good manners as well as good sense by -making the stay short. Twenty minutes -is a sufficient time, and departure should -not be delayed much beyond a half-hour. -It is better not to say farewell to the hostess,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[21]</a></span> -unless the going should be at a time -when few guests remain, and she is obviously -at leisure.</p> - -<p>The punctilious guest will make a point -of arriving neither too early nor too late. -Between half-past four and six is recommended.</p> - -<p>The formal evening reception is less -popular than in former days, but it still -prevails to a limited extent. The procedure -throughout is substantially the same as for -that of the afternoon reception. The wording -of the invitation is identical, with the -single exception of the time specified.</p> - -<p>The line that indicated the hours from -four until seven o’clock must be changed -to read:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>From nine until eleven o’clock</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Or, it may be properly stated, if one’s -taste so dictates:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>After nine o’clock</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>While for the evening reception all other -formal details are the same as for an afternoon<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[22]</a></span> -affair, the costumes of the guests, -both men and women, are changed as befits -the change in hours. The men are -scrupulous in the exactitude of their evening -garb—swallow tail, white linen and -white cravat and white waistcoat, and -patent-leather shoes; while the women -array themselves in their handsomest evening -gowns, decolleté and sleeveless, and -display the richest of their jewels.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[23]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>BACHELOR HOSTS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-w.jpg" width="124" height="131" alt="W" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">WHEN A BACHELOR entertains -either in the afternoon -or evening, he follows in a -general way the procedure -indicated for receptions -under the heading “At Homes.” If the -affair is to be elaborate, he may use engraved -invitations.</p> - -<p class="center"><br /><br /><br /> -<i>Mr. Hartley Fane Treadwell<br /> -<br /> -requests the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -.................................<br /> -<br /> -company<br /> -<br /> -on Wednesday afternoon, November the first<br /> -<br /> -From four until seven o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Nine East Third Street</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>A word or two at the bottom on the left -may indicate any special entertainment, -such as <i>Music</i>.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[24]</a></span></p> - -<p>But there are certain proprieties to be -observed that are peculiar to the bachelor. -For example, he is not permitted to use a -visiting-card with a line written on it for -less formal invitations. Instead, he must -write a note in the first person, or he may -give the invitation orally. The invitations -should be issued a week or a little -less before the appointed time.</p> - -<p>There is one other requirement of vital -importance. The bachelor must always -have a chaperon present for any gathering -that includes both sexes. And she must be -invited by note, or orally—even in cases -where the formal engraved invitations are -employed.</p> - -<p>The chaperon pours tea, and on occasions -when the guests are seated at table, -she is given the place on the host’s right, -unless there is a guest of honor, when she -is given the position on his left.</p> - -<p>The other women guests must take their -departure at the same time as the chaperon, -unless they prefer an earlier hour.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[25]</a></span></p> - -<p>The presence of the chaperon at such -entertainments makes it unnecessary for -the unmarried girl to provide one for -herself.</p> - -<p>The chaperon should be a married -woman, and her husband must be included -among the invited guests.</p> - -<p>When a bachelor wishes to issue engraved -invitations for a formal dinner-party -or luncheon, he uses the forms provided -respectively in the chapters entitled -“Dinners” and “Luncheons.” The directions -as to breakfasts also will be found -appropriate in a general way as set forth -in the special chapter.</p> - -<p>A bachelor should always be punctilious -in calling on a chaperon shortly after any -affair at which she has officiated, in order -to tender his grateful appreciation of her -services in his behalf.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[26]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>BALLS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t2.jpg" width="130" height="140" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE INVITATIONS for a -formal ball are engraved on -a sheet similar to that used -for dinner-parties. But, like -the dinner-invitations, they -may also be written by the hostess. In -sending these invitations by mail only one -envelope is used when the invitation is -written out. But the engraved form is -enclosed first in an unsealed envelope -with merely the name of the guest on the -cover. This is put in a second envelope, -which is sealed and has both the name and -address written on it for posting. An engraved -invitation, however, when delivered -by a messenger requires only a single -envelope, sealed.</p> - -<p>These invitations must be sent out not -less than ten days before the date of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[27]</a></span> -ball, and they may be issued three weeks -before the appointed time.</p> - -<p>The accepted form may be either of those -following:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. George Wheatley<br /> -<br /> -request the pleasure of your company<br /> -<br /> -on Wednesday evening, April the second<br /> -<br /> -at half-past nine o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Dancing 71 Hamilton Place</i><br /> -</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. George Wheatley<br /> -<br /> -Miss Wheatley<br /> -<br /> -At Home<br /> -<br /> -Tuesday, April the ninth<br /> -<br /> -at eleven o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Dancing 71 Hamilton Place</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>It is permissible to write the initials, -<i>R.s.v.p.</i> below the word <i>Dancing</i>.</p> - -<p>In place of <i>Dancing</i>, the word <i>Cotillon</i> -may appear, if the whole evening is to be -devoted especially to this dance. So, too, -the words <i>Bal Poudré</i> may be substituted<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[28]</a></span> -for <i>Dancing</i>, if the affair is to be a costume -ball. Or any other form of entertainment -may be similarly indicated.</p> - -<p>The form used in accepting or declining -such an invitation follows exactly the wording -given in a later chapter in connection -with dinner-invitations.</p> - -<p>It is the duty of the hostess to greet her -guests as at a dinner-party, and a daughter -or daughters may assist her in her hospitable -duties, but such assistance is not required -of them. The host, also, may join -his wife in receiving, and may make himself -socially useful by various attentions -to the guests. But such action on his part -is discretionary, except that in the case of -a woman guest of particular importance, -he should take her in to supper if this is -served at tables. Where a buffet supper -is served, it is fitting that he should escort -various guests from time to time.</p> - -<p>It is not always necessary to invite -mothers or chaperons to a private ball, -and in that case a girl may be sent with<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[29]</a></span> -a maid to accompany her. When the -mother receives an invitation and accepts -it, she may choose not to remain, but to -leave after entrusting her daughter to the -care of the hostess, or some other friend.</p> - -<p>At elaborate dances, the supper at midnight -is served on small tables, at which -the guests are seated. The buffet supper is -popular on account of its convenience, -since the guests select whatever pleases -them at any time.</p> - -<p>Unlike the rule as to dinners, there is no -obligation for prompt arrival on the ball -guest. Likewise, the guest may leave at -any time. It is not necessary to seek the -hostess for a farewell, but if she is near, -she should be addressed with appropriate -phrase in appreciation of the hospitality -that has been enjoyed.</p> - -<p>A girl at a ball usually establishes herself -in a seat by her chaperon, to whom -she returns according to her convenience -after dancing. It is perfectly proper for -her, if at any time she wishes to be rid of<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[30]</a></span> -a partner, to ask that he accompany her -back to this seat beside her chaperon.</p> - -<p>Evening clothes are essential for the -male guest at a ball, and the wearing of -white gloves is obligatory. A careful man -is very likely to provide himself with an -extra pair. At informal dances, ungloved -men often cover the hand with a handkerchief -to avoid any risk of soiling a partner’s -bodice. If a man serves as escort for a -woman, or for a girl and her chaperon, it is -a part of his duty to provide a carriage to -and fro.</p> - -<p>The ball-dress for women is usually the -most elegant their taste and means will -contrive. It is always decolleté, and commonly -sleeveless.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[31]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>BREAKFASTS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-a.jpg" width="136" height="141" alt="A" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">A HOSTESS MAY USE her -visiting-card for invitations -to breakfast, simply writing -on it below her name:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Breakfast at eleven o’clock<br /> -April the fourth</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>A more formal affair may have an engraved -invitation on paper similar to that -used in the case of dinners. This would -have the following form:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. George Vinton Thorne<br /> -<br /> -requests the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -................................<br /> -<br /> -company at breakfast<br /> -<br /> -on....................................<br /> -<br /> -at.............................o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Eleven Green Street</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_32" id="Page_32">[32]</a></span></p> - -<p>Or the hostess may, if she prefers, write -a brief note of invitation in the first person. -Whatever form is employed, the invitations -should be sent out a full week, or a -little more, before the date set for the -breakfast.</p> - -<p>The answer to such an invitation should -be sent promptly, whether in acceptance -or in refusal. The form is identical with -that for dinner-invitations, except that the -word <i>breakfast</i> is substituted for the word -<i>dinner</i>.</p> - -<p>Where the invitation is a note written -in the first person, the answer must follow -the same style.</p> - -<p>A breakfast of the more informal sort, -with no more than eight or ten guests, may -begin as early as ten o’clock, but a later -hour is preferred for very ceremonious -affairs, with noon most esteemed as the -hour.</p> - -<p>Grapefruit is usually served, with finger-bowl -accompaniment, and the meal that -follows may be as simple or as elaborate<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_33" id="Page_33">[33]</a></span> -as the taste and resources of the hostess -dictate.</p> - -<p>Usually both sexes are included among -the guests at a breakfast. The women -remove their gloves after taking their -places at table, but not their hats. Veils -may be removed entirely or pushed up -out of the way, according to the wearer’s -choice.</p> - -<p>The guest should remain at least a half-hour -after the conclusion of the meal, but -not longer than an hour unless justified by -exceptional circumstances.</p> - -<p>Frock or cutaway coats are worn by the -men, and afternoon dress by the women. -The costumes for a ten o’clock breakfast -should be somewhat plainer than for one -at the more formal hour of noon.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_34" id="Page_34">[34]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>CALLS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-f.jpg" width="128" height="128" alt="F" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">FORMAL CALLS are to be -made in the afternoon between -three o’clock and -half-past five.</p> - -<p>If a hostess has a day at -home, formal calls on her should be made -on that day. It is well also so to time visits -for congratulation or to return thanks for -any hospitality, or the like, as to have them -also fall on the day at home. Usually, a -due attention by visitors to this set time -for calling is appreciated by a hostess.</p> - -<p>While the formal hours for calls are in -the afternoon as indicated above, the time -varies in different neighborhoods. Evening -calls are common in the country necessarily -as a matter of convenience. And, while in -the city women pay no formal calls on -Sunday, these are permitted in smaller<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_35" id="Page_35">[35]</a></span> -places. Ordinarily, too, there is license in -the country as to the length even of formal -calls, which may be extended without impropriety -far beyond the limit of fifteen or -twenty minutes which is well established -in the city. A new resident or visitor in -any community should be at pains to get -information as to the local usage, and conform -to it in all details.</p> - -<p>It is permissible for men in our country -to make social calls in the afternoon on -Sunday, or in the evening. The exigencies -of business are the excuse for the departure -from the stricter form, which still holds in -the case of women. The hour of such evening -calls in the larger cities is from eight to -nine, but the time is earlier in smaller -towns and in the country. In every instance, -the local custom is to be followed. -Of course, too, men of leisure may pay -their calls in the afternoon.</p> - -<p>New residents in a neighborhood must -await calls from those already established -there. In the city, the first calls of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36">[36]</a></span> -social season should be received by the -hostess who first sends out her at-home -cards. Where women have met out of -town, and wish to continue the acquaintance -in the city, the unmarried woman -should call on the matron, or one who is -under any obligation for hospitality should -make the first call. Unless a distinction -be drawn for some such reason, either may -properly pay the first visit.</p> - -<p>It is notorious that in the large cities -there is no welcome for the newcomer from -the dweller next door or across the street. -The conditions of city life justify such -aloofness. On the other hand, the conditions -of life in the smaller places warrant -exactly the opposite in the matter of hospitality. -It is the recognized duty of the -older residents to welcome new arrivals by -calling on them promptly, after the strangers -have had time to dispose themselves -comfortably.</p> - -<p>There are many varieties of those calls -that are imposed by formal courtesy.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_37" id="Page_37">[37]</a></span> -Thus, in the matter of weddings, it becomes -the duty of any one who has taken -official part in the affair, such as a bride’s-maid -or a best man, to call on the mother -of the bride within a few days after the -marriage ceremony, and also to call on -the bride immediately after her return -from the honeymoon trip. The like duty -devolves on invited guests to a home wedding, -to a wedding-reception and to a -wedding-breakfast.</p> - -<p>A similar formal call should be paid to -the hostess by each guest at a dinner, or -breakfast, or other special entertainment. -Such a call must be made within two -weeks. The obligation is the same even in -cases where the invitation has been declined.</p> - -<p>As to the returning of calls, such visits -should be made on the day at home if -there is one, and otherwise at a suitable -time according to the social usage of the -neighborhood within a fortnight. But this -ruling applies properly only to the return<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_38" id="Page_38">[38]</a></span> -for a first call. Afterward, a longer or -shorter interval may elapse between visits -according to the desire of the parties concerned. -A former acquaintance may be -maintained merely by an annual exchange -of calls. It must be noted, however, that -a call in person demands a personal visit -in return. The formal leaving of a card at -the door does not suffice.</p> - -<p>Persons giving up their residence in a -community or going on a long journey -should send their cards to their full visiting-list -with the initials <i>P.p.c.</i> (<i>Pour prendre -congé</i>, for leave-taking).</p> - -<p>It occurs often that a person wishes to -call on a friend in the home of a stranger. -Such a call is permissible, but the visitor -should ask for the hostess as well as the -friend, and leave a card for her.</p> - -<p>In the matter of initiative, it is fitting -that an elder woman should invite a -younger to the exchange of cards and -calls, and that the matron should thus -invite the maiden. Where there is equality<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_39" id="Page_39">[39]</a></span> -of years or station, the first advance must -depend on the personal inclinations of the -parties.</p> - -<p>The proprieties in reference to calls between -women are thus seen to be simple -enough. There is more complexity in the -procedure when it has to do with the calling -of men on women. It is not deemed -proper for a young unmarried woman to -invite calls from men. Such visits on their -part are left to the discretion of the mother -or chaperon. But, undoubtedly, the débutante -will see to it that mother or chaperon -does not fail in her functions. As -to the older women, and those married, -there is some variation locally in the polite -usage. Sometimes the woman feels it her -privilege to invite the man to call without -awaiting solicitation on his part; sometimes -she requires that the advance should -be on the part of the man in the form of -a request for permission to visit her.</p> - -<p>If any person requires that a definite -time should be given for the emancipation<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_40" id="Page_40">[40]</a></span> -of a girl from the social dominance of her -mother or chaperon, it may be set at about -the twenty-fifth year, after which time a -young woman is theoretically fitted to -decide for herself as to who her visitors -shall be.</p> - -<p>A young woman of sensibility will be -extremely chary of her invitations to men, -and very sure before extending them that -they are really desired. If at any time a -man fails to avail himself of such an invitation, -her self-respect will not permit her -to repeat it.</p> - -<p>The strictness of the above rules of conduct -has been greatly relaxed in the case -of the average American girl, who democratically -insists from the outset of her -social career on her own choice in the -matter of acquaintances and friends. But -even this laxity does not permit an invitation -to a man on the first meeting. -Such haste is neither good form nor ordinary -prudence.</p> - -<p>In a consideration of formal calls, it<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_41" id="Page_41">[41]</a></span> -should be noted that in practise the offices -of the wife are commonly accepted in her -husband’s behalf by her leaving his card -when she pays her dinner-call, or the like. -The exigencies of business are supposed to -justify this vicarious method.</p> - -<p>While it is proper for a woman to call -upon a man for business reasons, social -calls are forbidden.</p> - -<p>Calls of condolence, except when there -is an intimate friendship, are properly made -by leaving a card. The expression of -sympathy is usually best made by a brief -note.</p> - -<p>Calls of congratulation may be made by -acquaintances of both sexes on a woman -who announces her engagement to be married. -Calls following the announcement -of a birth are expected by the mother from -the women of her acquaintance.</p> - -<p>The day at home is such a social convenience -that it is popular, not only in the -cities, but in many smaller towns. It is -usually set for one afternoon in the week,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_42" id="Page_42">[42]</a></span> -sometimes for an afternoon each two weeks -during the social season. The day should -appear on the visiting-card. The hours -for entertaining on the day at home are -from three until six, but this period is -frequently extended for another hour. The -hostess should devote herself assiduously -to her guests, and should provide some -light forms of food and drink. Usually, -tea is served. Sufficient notice is given -of the day at home by sending out the -visiting-cards at the beginning of the -season. One advantage of the day at -home is that it justifies the hostess in not -receiving casual callers on other occasions.</p> - -<p>It is the duty of the hostess to meet -and address each guest with a handshake. -“How do you do, Mrs. Smith? I am so -glad to see you!” or a similar phrase, should -be used in greeting each arrival. She -should also introduce strangers to other -guests near by. She should not leave the -reception-room to make her farewells to -departing guests, unless in case of some<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_43" id="Page_43">[43]</a></span> -person of particular distinction. “Good-afternoon, -Mr. Brown. I shall hope to -see you again very soon,” or the like, -affords a sufficient form of farewell.</p> - -<p>If the husband is present during his -wife’s at home, he should undertake to -second her hospitable efforts to the best -of his ability, showing attention to any -requiring it.</p> - -<p>A woman caller does not remove her -gloves or veil, or even her wrap, unless it -is a heavy one. But rubbers and umbrella -and any heavy outer garment should be -left in the hall.</p> - -<p>For a man, formal politeness permits -the carrying of both hat and stick into the -drawing-room. But this rule is to-day -more honored in the breach than in the -observance. And, too, the right hand at -least is usually ungloved. The hat and -stick, when carried, are held in the left -hand, and should be retained throughout -the call, though it is permissible to put -them down on the floor beside one, for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_44" id="Page_44">[44]</a></span> -greater convenience when taking refreshments.</p> - -<p>When the day at home is of a formal -sort, the women do not exchange kisses in -greeting, and the gloves are not taken off -even when tea is drunk.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_45" id="Page_45">[45]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>CARDS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-v.jpg" width="124" height="130" alt="V" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">VISITING-CARDS are of -three sizes, which remain -practically the same year -after year. The largest is -that used by matrons, while -that of the unmarried woman is a very little -smaller, and that of the man much smaller. -The present style as to materials favors a -polished bristol board that is white and -substantial without being too heavy. This -should be printed from an engraved plate -in black ink. The lettering may be a running -script or old English.</p> - -<p>Under no circumstances should a woman’s -card carry any prefix other than <i>Mrs.</i> or -<i>Miss</i>, but one or the other of these invariably -appears. This rule does not apply in -the case of professional women who may -wish a distinctive card for business purposes, -with its prefix of <i>Dr.</i> or <i>Rev.</i> Such<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46">[46]</a></span> -a card would also carry the address in the -lower right-hand corner and perhaps office-hours -in the lower left-hand corner. But -even the professional woman requires the -plainer form of card for social purposes.</p> - -<p>There is a tendency at present to give the -name in full on the card. For example, -<i>Mrs. John James Smith</i>, or <i>Miss Maude -MacArthur</i>.</p> - -<p>It is permissible for the senior matron of -a family to use only the family name on -her card with the prefix: for example, -<i>Mrs. Fuller</i>. It is more common, however, -to omit the Christian name of an eldest -daughter who is unmarried: <i>Miss Fuller</i>. -The other daughters require the Christian -name on their cards: <i>Miss Mary Fuller</i>, -<i>Miss Gladys Fuller</i>.</p> - -<p>The tendency in this country is strongly -against the omission of the name in either -of the above cases. Although it is perfectly -correct as a social usage, it is opposed to -the spirit of our institutions.</p> - -<p>There is some variation in the use of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_47" id="Page_47">[47]</a></span> -name on the card in the case of a widow. -It is within the woman’s choice whether -she will continue to use the Christian name -of her husband on the card, or will put -her own in place of it. In other words, she -may use the same cards after the death of -her husband as before if she prefers, or she -may follow the <i>Mrs.</i> with her own Christian -name. A common form to-day gives the -woman’s Christian name and the surname -to which she was born and finally the surname -of her husband. A present vogue -permits also the use of only the two surnames, -without the Christian name. Thus, -Mary Brown marries James Robinson. The -husband dies and the widow changes her -visiting-cards, which have read, <i>Mrs. -James Robinson</i>, so that they now read, -<i>Mrs. Mary Robinson</i>. Then presently she -grows ambitious socially and has her cards -changed to read, <i>Mrs. Mary Brown Robinson</i>. -Soon, she seizes on a newer style, and -again changes her cards in accordance with -it to read, <i>Mrs. Brown Robinson</i>.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_48" id="Page_48">[48]</a></span></p> - -<p>It should be noted that the variations in -cards practised by widows are used also -by divorced women. And when a divorcée -resumes her maiden name she properly -uses with it the prefix <i>Mrs.</i>, not <i>Miss</i>.</p> - -<p>As a matter of strict propriety, a girl -during her first social season does not formally -use an individual card. Her name -appears below that of her mother in the -same lettering. When making calls unaccompanied -by her mother, the latter’s -name is crossed out with a pencil mark.</p> - -<p>Where two daughters of nearly the same -age are concerned, both are included on -the mother’s card by the words <i>The Misses</i>, -followed by the family name.</p> - -<p>The above details are applied especially -to a débutante in the first season. Afterward, -a young woman uses her own individual -card when calling alone. But this -card should not carry on it the day at -home. The at-home statement appears -on the mother’s individual card. It is -given also on the card combining the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_49" id="Page_49">[49]</a></span> -names of mother and daughter. The combination -card may with correctness be -frequently used in appropriate circumstances -until the daughter’s marriage.</p> - -<p>The notice of the day at home is placed -in the lower left-hand corner of the card. -Only the day of the week is given, or with -such qualification as may be required if -the at-home day is not of weekly recurrence. -The hours should not be specified -unless they are a distinct variation from -the customary time, between three and -six. In addition, a time limit to the at -homes may be specified. Thus, <i>Fridays -until March</i>. Of course, the beginning is -set for any individual by reception of the -card.</p> - -<p>A married woman finds frequent use for -a card in combination with her husband, -though this by no means takes the place -of her individual cards, and, while it bears -the address in the lower right-hand corner, -does not usually give the at-home day. -This card may properly be used for those<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_50" id="Page_50">[50]</a></span> -formal occasions in which her husband is -concerned. For example, it may fittingly -accompany a gift from husband and wife. -It serves also for announcing a marriage -with the residence of the bridal couple.</p> - -<p>A man’s visiting-card always carries the -prefix <i>Mr.</i> The single exception to this -is when <i>Jr.</i> follows the name. The name -is commonly given in full, but it is permissible -to use only the initial of the middle -name. It is strictly proper for the male -head of a family to use only the family -name on his card, preceded by <i>Mr.</i> Thus, -the head of the Smiths—could he be -located—might use on his visiting-card -merely <i>Mr. Smith</i>, instead of <i>Mr. John -Smith</i>.</p> - -<p>The home address appears in the lower -right-hand corner of the card, and a bachelor -may add also the name of a club in the -lower left-hand corner. The business address, -of course, should never appear on -the card used for social purposes. Likewise, -a day at home should not be given<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_51" id="Page_51">[51]</a></span> -by a bachelor even though he may entertain -regularly.</p> - -<p>It is a safe rule to avoid titles on the -visiting-cards of men as of women. The -only exceptions are in instances little likely -to concern the average reader of this book. -Such instances are afforded by the President -of the United States, the Vice-President, -Ambassadors, the higher Judiciary, -Army and Navy Officers, clergymen and -physicians. The custom in the army, however, -forbids any prefix except plain <i>Mr.</i> -to an officer below the rank of Captain.</p> - -<p>In the case of all officers the nature of -his command is properly stated in a lower -corner of the card.</p> - -<p>Lawyers and physicians should have -only the home address on the card used -for social purposes. Another card with -the business address should be used for -business purposes. But <i>Dr.</i> is properly -used by the physician in place of <i>Mr.</i> on -his visiting-cards. Likewise, a clergyman -uses <i>Reverend</i>, or its abbreviation <i>Rev.</i>,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52">[52]</a></span> -on all his cards, which are commonly identical -for both social and professional uses.</p> - -<p>The letters indicative of degrees are not -given after the name on the visiting-card, -though a single exception is sometimes -made by clergymen who omit <i>Rev.</i> before -their names and, in lieu of it, use <i>D.D.</i> -following the name.</p> - -<p>When it becomes necessary, for any reason, -to write one’s name on a visiting-card, -the prefix <i>Mr.</i> should be given, following -the ordinary form of the engraved card.</p> - -<p>Care should be taken in the case of -mourning-cards to avoid a too ostentatious -parade of grief by an unduly broad margin -of black. Somewhat less than a half inch -is permissible for a widow’s card, and, -after the first year, it is well to have this -width reduced. Often, other reductions -in the size of the border are made at intervals -of six months, as long as the period of -mourning continues.</p> - -<p>The card of a widower must carry a -border proportionately narrower, as its<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_53" id="Page_53">[53]</a></span> -size is smaller than a woman’s card, but -the decrease in width is made after the same -manner.</p> - -<p>When a woman elects to remain in -mourning permanently, the narrow black -border may be retained throughout her -lifetime.</p> - -<p>It is not customary to make variations -in the mourning border for the commemoration -of persons other than husband or -wife. For these, a fitting width is about -a twelfth part of an inch, which remains -the same throughout the period of -mourning.</p> - -<p>When a call is made on a day at home, -the card or cards are commonly left in the -hall on a tray placed for that purpose. A -married woman calling on the at-home day -of another married woman for the first -time in the season leaves her own card -and two of her husband’s cards. But -in later calls on the at-home day she -leaves her card and the two cards of her -husband’s only when the call acknowledges<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_54" id="Page_54">[54]</a></span> -entertainment offered to them by -the hostess.</p> - -<p>There has been considerable simplification -in recent years as to the leaving of -cards. They are no longer weirdly bent -in sign of delivery in person, and a smaller -number are used. Thus, though the hostess -referred to above may have unmarried -daughters receiving with her, cards for -them need not be left. But the presence -of a married daughter or a friend formally -assisting in the reception of the -guests requires the leaving of a card.</p> - -<p>A woman leaves no cards for the men -of the family where she visits.</p> - -<p>It is the business of the wife to fulfill -her husband’s formal social duties by leaving -his cards with hers whenever entertainment -should be acknowledged.</p> - -<p>Where two spinsters share a residence, -a woman caller, the first time in the season, -should leave two of her cards, and also, if -she is a married woman, two of her husband’s. -So, too, a card should be left for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_55" id="Page_55">[55]</a></span> -a daughter or sister who is hostess of the -house, even though she may be unmarried.</p> - -<p>When an unmarried girl uses her individual -card, she should follow the procedure -indicated for the matron in the -use of hers. Or she may use the combination -card of her mother and herself as already -described above.</p> - -<p>A call on a mother and daughter who -are out requires the leaving of two cards. -The same procedure is necessary in the -case of a hostess who has a friend staying -with her. Likewise, a call made -on a friend who is a guest in another’s -house demands the leaving of two cards. -This rule applies in the case of a man as -well as of a woman. It should be observed -that two cards are deemed sufficient in -most cases. Where, however, the hostess -has a guest staying with her and also -daughters of her own, three cards are to -be left.</p> - -<p>A man wishing to call on a particular -woman must be punctilious in leaving cards<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_56" id="Page_56">[56]</a></span> -not only for the particular one in whom he -is interested, but also for the mother or -chaperon, and still a third for the host. -But, if a call is made on a woman on her -at-home day, no card need be left, unless -the call is in acknowledgment of entertainment. -In the latter case, a single card -is left for the host. It is advisable, however, -that in his first call he should leave -a card for convenience in the matter of -address.</p> - -<p>It is permissible on certain occasions to -leave visiting-cards with the servant at -the door, or to send them through the mail -or by a messenger, instead of making the -call in person. Sometimes a woman who -is owing a call thus sends her card along -with an invitation, as for luncheon or dinner. -The invitation is considered to justify -the merely formal matter of the card. So, -too, a person receiving an invitation from -a hostess who is a stranger must, if the -invitation is declined, leave cards within -two weeks after the date of the entertainment.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57">[57]</a></span> -An invalid may send cards through -the post in acknowledgment of calls of -inquiry, and a woman in mourning is able -to fulfill her obligations in the same manner. -Cards are formally left by all who -receive invitations to a church wedding, -and the requirement is the same for those -to whom an announcement of the marriage -is sent. Such cards are demanded of men -and women both, to be left for the mother -of the bride within a fortnight after the -ceremony. Cards are left within a proper -time after any form of entertainment to -which the members of a club are invited, -though there may be no other social acquaintance -with the hostess. In calls of -condolence or inquiry, cards are always -left. They may be used also, as hereinbefore -stated, to announce a prolonged -absence or a change of address.</p> - -<p>When cards are left in person, they are -delivered to the servant at the door. One -or two or three are to be left according -to the circumstances. The caller should<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_58" id="Page_58">[58]</a></span> -tell the servant the persons for whom the -cards are designed.</p> - -<p>Good taste dictates that calls of inquiry -concerning the condition of a sick person -should be made in person. Cards should -be left at the time of such calls, except in -the case of intimates. The cards should -not be mailed or sent by messenger.</p> - -<p>Acknowledgment of cards of condolence -are made after a funeral by a large black-edged -card of thanks, which should be sent -within a month. Such cards are usually -merely printed, not engraved. The wording -should be of the simplest.</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. Jack Robinson<br /> -<br /> -returns thanks to<br /> -<br /> -.............................<br /> -<br /> -for her kind sympathy</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>The address of the one sending the card -should appear at the bottom.</p> - -<p>The form is varied according to circumstances. -Thus:</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_59" id="Page_59">[59]</a></span></p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. Montgomery James and Family<br /> -return thanks for your kind sympathy</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Some persons prefer to leave their visiting-cards -with the mourning border on -those to whom acknowledgment is due, -instead of sending the special card by -mail. Personal calls, however, are not -made by those in mourning within three -months at least of the time of the funeral. -If earlier acknowledgment is to be made, -the visiting-card with mourning-border may -be sent by mail within a few weeks. A -word of thanks should be written on the -card. For example:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>With grateful appreciation of your sympathy</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>The use of <i>P.p.c.</i> cards has already been -described in the chapter on calls. It should -be added that they are convenient when -one is leaving on short notice without time -to pay in person all calls due. The <i>P.p.c.</i> -card involves no duty of acknowledgment -on the part of its recipient.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_60" id="Page_60">[60]</a></span></p> - -<p>A woman temporarily stopping in any -place sends cards containing her address -to any acquaintances she may have there. -Her ordinary visiting-card serves the purpose, -with a pencil line drawn through the -engraved address and the temporary one -written above it. But a man, in the same -circumstances, makes his calls in person.</p> - -<p>The new-born infant embarks on its -social career by means of the card. The -birth of a child is made known to the -mother’s social list by mailing the mother’s -card, which has tied to it by a strip of -white satin ribbon a card only a quarter -as large carrying the full name of the baby. -In this case, the prefix <i>Mr.</i> or <i>Miss</i> is -omitted, but the date of birth appears in -a lower corner. The recipients of these -cards are required to call with inquiry as -to the health of the senders, and to leave -their cards in return. Persons residing -at a distance may post their cards of acknowledgment, -with a penciled phrase of -congratulation.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61">[61]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>DINNERS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-f2.jpg" width="133" height="140" alt="F" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">FORMAL INVITATIONS -to dinner should be sent -between five and ten days -before the date. A hostess -may use her own discretion -as to whether she will write the invitations -by hand or use an engraved form. The -wording is the same in either case.</p> - -<p class="center"><br /><br /><br /><br /> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Walter Peck<br /> -<br /> -request the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -...........................................<br /> -<br /> -company at dinner<br /> -<br /> -on.................evening<br /> -<br /> -at........................o’clock<br /> -<br /> -401 Armstrong Street</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>The engraved form should be printed on -a large, heavy piece of bristol board in old<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_62" id="Page_62">[62]</a></span> -English or block type, or in script. When -the dinner has a guest of honor, notice of -the fact may be given by a line across the -bottom of the invitation:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>To meet Captain Arthur Shayne</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Or a special small card may be inclosed -with the invitation, on which is engraved a -similar phrase.</p> - -<p>When the affair is of extraordinary importance, -the form of invitation may dignify -the purpose by announcing it at the -outset.</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>To meet<br /> -<br /> -The Bishop of Albany<br /> -<br /> -Mr. and Mrs. William Astor<br /> -<br /> -request the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -........................................<br /> -<br /> -company at dinner<br /> -<br /> -on...........................evening<br /> -<br /> -at.............................o’clock<br /> -<br /> -401 Armstrong Street</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_63" id="Page_63">[63]</a></span></p> - -<p>For dinners to which only a small number -of persons are invited and these -mutually acquainted, the formal mode -of invitation is not required. A simple -note is sufficient.</p> -<div class="blockquot"> -<p class="right"> -<i>31 Hamilton Place,<br /> -<span style="margin-right: 1em;">March 7th, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<p><i>My Dear Mrs. Robinson:</i></p> - -<p><i>Will you and Mr. Robinson, if -disengaged, give us the pleasure of your -company at dinner on Friday the thirteenth, -at half-past seven o’clock?</i></p> - -<p class="sig"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 4em;">Yours sincerely,</span><br /> -Edith MacArthur</i><br /> -</p></div> - -<p>This form may be varied according to -the taste of the writer and the degree of -intimacy with the person to whom the -invitation is sent.</p> - -<p>When it becomes necessary to invite some -one to take the place of a guest who is -unable to be present, this late invitation -should not be of the formal sort, but<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_64" id="Page_64">[64]</a></span> -should be contained in a note frankly explaining -the circumstances. Such invitations, -of course, are never made to merely -formal acquaintances.</p> - -<p>The custom formerly prevailed of writing -the initials <i>R.s.v.p.</i>, on the dinner invitations, -the initials of the French words, -répondez, s’il vous plaît (reply if you -please). But this usage has lost favor.</p> - -<p>An invitation to dinner demands an immediate -answer, either accepting or declining. -The invitation cannot be accepted -conditionally, nor can the decision be delayed. -The form of reply should be as -simple as the form of the invitation.</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i><span style="margin-left: 12em;">17 North Street</span><br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">April 30th, 1919</span><br /> -<br /> -Mr. and Mrs. Sloan Potter<br /> -<br /> -accept with pleasure<br /> -<br /> -Mr. and Mrs. John Morehouse’s<br /> -<br /> -invitation to dinner<br /> -<br /> -Tuesday evening, May the sixth<br /> -<br /> -at half-past seven</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65">[65]</a></span></p> - -<p>For a declination, the following form -may be used:</p> - -<div class="center"> -<i><span style="margin-left: 12em;">17 North Street</span><br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">April 30, 1919</span><br /> -<br /> -Mr. and Mrs. Sloan Potter<br /> -<br /> -regret that their absence from the city<br /> -<br /> -must prevent their acceptance of<br /> -<br /> -Mr. and Mrs. John Morehouse’s<br /> -<br /> -invitation to dinner on<br /> -<br /> -Tuesday evening, May the sixth<br /> -<br /> -at half-past seven</i><br /> -</div> - -<p>The invitation in the form of a note is -answered similarly by a note. Thus:</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p class="right"> -<i>42 Chestnut Street<br /> -<span style="margin-right: 2em;">April 30, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<i>My Dear Mrs. Morehouse:</i> - -<p><i>It is with much pleasure that -I accept your kind invitation to dinner -on Tuesday evening, the sixth, -at half-past seven o’clock.</i></p> - -<p class="sig"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yours sincerely,</span><br /> -Helen Potter</i><br /> -</p></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_66" id="Page_66">[66]</a></span></p> - -<p>A declination should state a courteous -reason.</p> - -<p>All such answers are addressed to the -hostess alone. If she is married the husband -is, nevertheless, omitted from the -address.</p> - -<p>The reply to an informal invitation -should always be correspondingly informal.</p> - -<p>For a formal dinner, there should be an -even number of guests, eight or ten, or -more, with the sexes evenly divided.</p> - -<p>Either a round or square table will serve, -but it should be large enough to accommodate -all the party without crowding.</p> - -<p>A pad should cover the table. The white -cloth over this should be so large that the -corners reach nearly to the floor.</p> - -<p>A folded napkin is placed on each plate, -with a roll or piece of bread laid within it. -Three forks are laid to the left of the plate, -with prongs up. Two steel knives are to -the right of the plate, and then a silver -knife, the edge of each to the left. A soup -spoon follows the silver knife, and then<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_67" id="Page_67">[67]</a></span> -an oyster fork. Other utensils are sometimes -added, but are not necessary.</p> - -<p>A goblet for water is placed before the -knives. With it are grouped whatever -wine glasses may be required. A small -card lying on the napkin carries the name -of the guest to be seated here.</p> - -<p>When dinner is announced, the host -offers his arm to the woman who is to sit -on his right, and leads the way to the -dining-room. Already, in welcoming the -guests, the hostess has made known the -dinner-partners, introducing them when -necessary. These now follow in pairs to -the dining-room. The hostess brings up the -rear. The guests find their places by the -cards.</p> - -<p>The hostess does not rise in greeting a -late arrival, even a woman. But the host -does, and sees to the seating of the laggard.</p> - -<p>It has long been the custom for the ladies -to leave the dining-room after the fruit -course, and to have coffee served in the -drawing-room. In such case, the men<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_68" id="Page_68">[68]</a></span> -stand until the women have passed out. -Afterward, they seat themselves where -they please, and smoking is permitted. The -present-day tendency, however, is toward -lessening the time of this separation and -often doing away with it altogether, especially -at less formal dinners, which otherwise -follow an essentially identical routine.</p> - -<p>Both host and hostess must say farewell, -standing, with a handclasp, to each guest.</p> - -<p>As for the guest, his first duty is to arrive -exactly on time. Fifteen minutes of delay -is the limit.</p> - -<p>On ceremonious occasions, the hostess -writes a lady’s name on a card, and places -it in an envelope. This is given to the -male guest on his arrival by a servant, and -from it he learns the identity of the one -he is to take in to dinner. When the dinner -is announced, he offers his arm, and -escorts the woman into the dining-room, -where he pulls out her chair, and stands -until she is seated.</p> - -<p>It is permissible for dinner-partners,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_69" id="Page_69">[69]</a></span> -after the opening courses, to give some -attention to their other immediate neighbors.</p> - -<p>A guest is free to leave at any time after -the conclusion of the dinner. Usually, an -hour is long enough to remain after the -meal is ended.</p> - -<p>In taking leave, the guest must express -a courteous appreciation of the hospitality -that has been extended.</p> - -<p>“I am under deep obligation to you, Mrs. -Johnson, for a most delightful evening.”</p> - -<p>This, or any similar pleasant phrases of -gratitude, will serve. The words of appreciation -should be particularly addressed to -the hostess always.</p> - -<p>Evening dress is required for all guests -at a formal dinner. For men, the regulation -swallow-tail is imperative. The wearing -of a dinner-jacket is not allowable on -any occasion of ceremony.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_70" id="Page_70">[70]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>GARDEN-PARTIES</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-g.jpg" width="124" height="131" alt="G" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">GARDEN-PARTIES are probably -destined to grow in -popularity in this century, -for they offer one of the -simplest and most pleasant -forms of entertainment during those seasons -when the outdoors is attractive.</p> - -<p>For such an affair, the hostess sends out -invitations about ten days beforehand. -These may be engraved on white bristol -board, in which case either one of two -forms is permissible.</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. Melville Stratton<br /> -<br /> -At Home<br /> -<br /> -Friday afternoon, April third<br /> -<br /> -from four until seven o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Garden-Party Nine Park Square</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_71" id="Page_71">[71]</a></span></p> - -<p>Or:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. Melville Stratton<br /> -<br /> -requests the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -.............................<br /> -<br /> -company on Friday afternoon<br /> -<br /> -April third<br /> -<br /> -from four until seven o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Garden-Party Nine Park Square</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>If less pretentiousness is preferred for the -occasion, the hostess may merely use a -visiting-card. Below her name she writes:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Garden-Party, April third, four to<br /> -seven o’clock.</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Still a third method of issuing the invitations -is by means of a short note, written -in the first person.</p> - -<p>The formal engraved invitation demands -a prompt reply, written in the third person. -An acceptance might properly take this -mode of expression:</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_72" id="Page_72">[72]</a></span></p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Clinton Brewster<br /> -<br /> -accept with pleasure<br /> -<br /> -Mrs. Stratton’s kind invitation<br /> -<br /> -for April third.<br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">Thirty Abernethey Row</span><br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">May twenty-fifth, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<p>A refusal might be in the following form:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Clinton Brewster<br /> -<br /> -regret that a previous engagement<br /> -<br /> -prevents their acceptance<br /> -<br /> -of Mrs. Stratton’s kind invitation<br /> -<br /> -for April third<br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">Thirty Abernethey Row</span><br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">May twenty-fifth, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<p>When the invitation is by means of the -visiting-card, an answer is not obligatory. -Yet, it is well to acknowledge this form of -invitation, also, by sending a short note -written in the first person, either accepting -or refusing.</p> - -<p>Of course, when the invitation itself<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_73" id="Page_73">[73]</a></span> -takes the form of a note, the answer should -follow the same style.</p> - -<p>It is part of the duty of the hostess to -put her house in order, as well as the -grounds. The guests on arriving may, in -many cases, go within before greeting the -hostess, to lay aside wraps or heavy veils. -Moreover, weather conditions may make -it necessary to seek shelter indoors. It -is often convenient also to have the refreshments -set out on the porch. These should -include hot and cold tea, punch or claret-cup, -cakes, sandwiches, salads, fruits in -season, and the like, which are partaken of -by the guests according to their pleasure.</p> - -<p>Or a marquée may shelter the refreshments—a -tent roof set up at any desired -place on the lawn.</p> - -<p>The hostess receives her guests on the -lawn. She wears an afternoon gown, suitable -for the season, and a hat. But, if she -prefers, she may leave off the hat, and use -a parasol in its stead.</p> - -<p>The women guests, too, wear their most<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74">[74]</a></span> -effective afternoon gowns and also hats and -veils and gloves, which are not taken off.</p> - -<p>The men may wear frock or morning -coats and silk hats, and this garb is common -at garden-parties in England. In -this country, however, more comfortable -clothes are popular, and flannels, or other -fabrics of light material, are favored.</p> - -<p>Guests leave their cards on a tray provided -for that purpose in the hallway of -the house. The requirements concerning -cards have already been fully explained in -the chapters on cards and at homes.</p> - -<p>After greeting the hostess, a guest must -remain for at least twenty minutes, and -may properly continue on throughout the -whole afternoon.</p> - -<p>Discretion should be used in the matter -of saying farewell. It should be omitted if -the hostess is occupied. If she is free, good-bye -may be spoken, and with it a phrase -in appreciation of the hospitality.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_75" id="Page_75">[75]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>HOUSE-PARTIES</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t3.jpg" width="131" height="138" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE HOUSE-PARTY is -made up of any number of -guests, from half a dozen to -a score, and may be merely -for a few days or for any -desired length of time. But, whatever is to -be the length of the guest’s stay, it should -be specifically stated in the invitation. It -is a common saying that an invitation that -sets no time for the visit is no invitation -at all, and the saying is quite true.</p> - -<p>So, in writing her invitation, a hostess -mentions the exact day for the guest’s -arrival, and, as well, the exact day of departure. -The invitation is always a note -written in the first person. The following -may serve as an illustration:</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_76" id="Page_76">[76]</a></span></p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p class="right"> -<i>The Oaks, Hyde Park.<br /> -<span style="margin-right: 2em;">April 10, 1919.</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<i>Dear Mrs. Ashland:</i> - -<p><i>I should be delighted to have you -come to us for the next week-end, and I -hope that there is no previous engagement -to prevent your giving us this -pleasure.</i></p> - -<p><i>The best train for you to take -from the city is the one leaving at three -in the afternoon. Mr. Lawrence will -meet this at the station here on Friday.</i></p> - -<p><i>In eager anticipation of your visit, -believe me,</i></p> - -<p class="sig"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 2em;">Cordially yours,</span><br /> -Ella Lawrence</i><br /> -</p></div> - -<p>The guest’s answer to the invitation must -be of the promptest, whether it accepts or -rejects the proposal of a visit. It should, -of course, be written in the first person. -The wording is a matter for the individual -taste, and the form following is offered -merely as a suggestion.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_77" id="Page_77">[77]</a></span></p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<div class="right"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 1em;">47 Tremont St.,</span><br /> -New York.</i><br /> -<i><span style="margin-right: 1em;">April 11, 1919.</span></i><br /> -</div> - -<i>Dear Mrs. Lawrence:</i> - -<p><i>I am more pleased than I can tell -you to receive your kind invitation, since -there is nothing to prevent my acceptance -of it. I shall take the three o’clock train -on Friday afternoon for Hyde Park, -and I am looking forward very eagerly -to being with you so soon.</i></p> - -<p class="sig"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yours sincerely,</span><br /> -Roberta Ashland</i><br /> -</p></div> - -<p>The declination of the invitation should -contain some fitting expression of regret, -and an explanation as to the causes that -render an acceptance impossible.</p> - -<p>It is imperative that a girl should be met -at the station by her host in person, or, if -convenient, preferably by the hostess, or -perhaps by both. But this attention is -not obligatory in the case of a married<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_78" id="Page_78">[78]</a></span> -couple or with a bachelor guest. But -these, too, should be met at the station -by a servant if not by the host, and duly -conveyed to the house where they are to -be entertained.</p> - -<p>The guest on arrival should be welcomed -at the entrance by the hostess, if she has -not been to the station, and after the -greetings she escorts the guest, if this is a -woman, to the chamber she is to occupy, -and there leaves her to freshen herself -after the journey.</p> - -<p>When the luggage is brought in, a competent -maid will unpack it and distribute -the contents through the drawers of the -bureau and in the closet, and render such -other services as may be required. A less -competent maid can at least unstrap the -luggage, remove trays, and help in the disposal -of the contents.</p> - -<p>In the case of a man, after being greeted -by his hostess, he is conducted to his -room by the host.</p> - -<p>The wardrobe requirements for the visitor<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_79" id="Page_79">[79]</a></span> -at a house-party are regulated by the probable -nature of the entertainment that will -be provided, by the season of the year, and -by the particular social status of the hosts. -No hard-and-fast rule can be given. Thus, -where a woman visits a country house for -a few days in the summer, she needs no -larger wardrobe than can be carried in the -tiniest of trunks, suitcase and hat-box. -The hat used for traveling will serve her -also on occasion during the visit, but she -will need in addition a sport-hat for tramping -or out-door games and another hat of -sufficient elegance for wear at a lawn party -or wherever more elaborate dress is necessary. -The frocks should follow the lines -thus indicated, and there should be a sufficiency -of dainty waists and footgear besides -the inevitable decolleté gowns for -evening wear.</p> - -<p>For the man, also, evening clothes are -essential, and he should be provided -with flannels, besides the business suit in -which he travels. For winter, the change<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_80" id="Page_80">[80]</a></span> -in season would demand a corresponding -change in the matter of dress, especially -for out of doors.</p> - -<p>The hostess plans sufficient entertainment -for her guests, but, if she is discreet, -she does not plan too many things. It is -customary to leave the mornings to the -devices of the guests, to be occupied by -them according to their individual pleasure. -Where a morning start is required on some -expedition, such as a picnic, the hostess is -likely to leave the evening free from any -special entertainment.</p> - -<p>It is the duty of the guest to conform to -the habits of the household. If the party -assembles together for breakfast, he or she -must make one of the number though the -hour may be too early or too late for personal -convenience. Likewise, the guest -should accept such disposal of his or her -time as the hostess may choose to make, -even when the preference would be quite -otherwise. The tactful hostess, of course, -studies the likes and dislikes of her guests,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_81" id="Page_81">[81]</a></span> -and seeks to reconcile her hospitality so -far as possible to their prejudices.</p> - -<p>It is customary to give tips on leaving a -house-party to those servants with whom -the guest has been brought more closely -in contact. The maid who has attended to -the room should receive a dollar from the -visitor for a few days; the butler, if there -is one, should receive a dollar and a half. -The amount for the chauffeur should be -regulated to some extent by his personal -service in the guest’s behalf. Where there -has been none, a dollar is sufficient.</p> - -<p>These figures are applicable in the cases -of unmarried women and bachelors, although -the tendency of the latter is to -give more. The sums named, however, are -regarded as acceptable by the servants -themselves. Naturally, they enjoy the -lavish, even prodigal tips given by certain -persons of wealth, who are more ostentatious -than discreet. Such indiscretions, -however, need not set up a false standard -for other guests.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_82" id="Page_82">[82]</a></span></p> - -<p>In the case of a husband and wife, the -tips to maid and butler, etc., should be -increased. It is usual for the wife to tip -the female servants, while the husband -satisfies those of his own sex. When the -care of the guest’s shoes devolves on a -house-boy, he, too, should be remembered -with a half-dollar.</p> - -<p>The male guests frequently give a tip -of a dollar or more to the cook.</p> - -<p>It is the duty of the hostess in the case of -a woman visitor to bid her farewell in person, -even if this should necessitate arising -at an unpleasantly early hour. But in the -case of a man’s leaving thus early, it suffices -if she makes her farewell the night -before. It then becomes the duty of the -host to attend on the guest for the breakfast -and departure.</p> - -<p>In about a week after such a visit, the -guest should write a note to the hostess, -expressing warm appreciation of the hospitality -thus enjoyed. It is also permissible -for the guest to send a gift that is not<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_83" id="Page_83">[83]</a></span> -too costly, such as a book, or any simple -thing that may serve as a token of remembrance. -But this is in no wise obligatory, -and, in fact, good taste is likely to prevent -the bestowal of such a gift in most cases. -There could hardly be anything less satisfactory -to a hostess than a string of such -souvenirs from her whilom guests.</p> - -<p>Where the visit is a very short one, less -than two days, it is customary to dispense -with the bread-and-butter letter.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_84" id="Page_84">[84]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>INTRODUCTIONS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-s.jpg" width="133" height="140" alt="S" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">SIMPLICITY SHOULD always -characterize good -manners, and this truth -applies especially in the -matter of introductions. -There should be no attempt at fine -phrases.</p> - -<p>“Mrs. Smith, let me present Mr. Jones.”</p> - -<p>It is to be noted that the names of both -persons concerned are given. They should -be spoken with entire distinctness.</p> - -<p>In this form, a man is presented to a -woman, and this is the rule to be generally -observed. It is admissible for the introduction -to contain an expression of the -man’s wish for it.</p> - -<p>“Mrs. Smith, Mr. Jones desires to be -presented to you.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_85" id="Page_85">[85]</a></span></p> - -<p>Slight variations in the phrasing of these -forms are permitted. For example, after -saying, “Mrs. Smith, let me present Mr. -Jones,” it is proper to add some such -phrase as, “He is very anxious to meet -you.”</p> - -<p>It is always a mark of courtesy to request -a lady’s permission in advance of the actual -introduction. When introductions are to -be made between a woman, who is a newcomer, -and an assembly of guests, the newcomer -is given the formal distinction of -receiving the introductions.</p> - -<p>“Miss Brown, let me present Mrs. Robinson, -Miss Robinson, Miss Helen Robinson, -Mr. Jones, Mr. Truesdale.”</p> - -<p>Often, the form of introduction is curtailed, -especially when the company is -numerous. In such case, merely the names -are spoken, that of the stranger having first -place.</p> - -<p>“Miss Brown—Mrs. Robinson, Miss -Robinson, Miss Helen Robinson, Mr. Jones, -Mr. Truesdale.”</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_86" id="Page_86">[86]</a></span></p> - -<p>Care must be taken to remember that the -person to whom the introduction is made -has the place of honor. It is on this account -that the rule of proper procedure requires -the presentation of a man to a -woman, and always the presentation of -the inferior to the superior, although the -distinction is usually purely theoretical. -For example, an unmarried woman should -be presented to a matron. So, the younger -person should be presented to his or her -elders; the ordinary person should be -presented to the person of distinction. -Where men or women are of nearly equal -age or station, it is safer not to discriminate -between them by presenting one to -the other. It is enough merely to name -them.</p> - -<p>“Mr. Smith, Mr. Robinson.” Or: “Mrs. -Jones, Mrs. Brown.”</p> - -<p>It is a part of good tact on the part of a -host or hostess in making introductions to -add a few words of explanation as to some -particular interest of each, which may be<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_87" id="Page_87">[87]</a></span> -of assistance to them at the beginning of -their conversation.</p> - -<p>In every instance, the greatest care -should be taken by the person making an -introduction to pronounce both names with -the utmost clearness. Nothing is more -annoying than an indistinct mumble that -leaves the hearers uninformed.</p> - -<p>When, for any reason, one fails to -understand a stranger’s name at the -time of introduction, it is permissible to -ask it.</p> - -<p>“Pardon me, but I did not understand -the name.”</p> - -<p>There are some variations that should -be noted as to the manner of acknowledging -an introduction. In her own home, a -woman should offer her hand, while saying, -“Mrs. Smith, I am very glad to meet you,” -or any similar phrase of cordial greeting. -But such a cordial phrase is not to be used -by a woman when a man is presented to -her, unless she is the hostess. A man, on -the contrary, on receiving his introduction<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_88" id="Page_88">[88]</a></span> -to a lady, should express his appreciation -in a courteous sentence.</p> - -<p>“I am very glad to meet you, Miss -Robinson.”</p> - -<p>The tendency to-day is toward elimination -of handshaking by women on the occasion -of an introduction, except in the case -of a hostess. A slight bow of the head, -a smile and the repetition of the stranger’s -name are deemed enough. But -many women still prefer a less formal -manner, and give their hand when an introduction -is made.</p> - -<p>It is the duty of a hostess to stand up -when receiving an introduction. This applies -equally whether the stranger is a -man or a woman. But a woman other -than the hostess, when a member of a -group, remains seated during any introduction -to her unless it is of one her superior -in age or station, whom she should honor -by rising. Otherwise, it is preferable for -a woman to stand in acknowledging an -introduction of one of her own sex, though<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_89" id="Page_89">[89]</a></span> -she should remain seated when a man is -presented to her.</p> - -<p>In England, it is usual to omit introductions -among those gathered in the same -house, and guests are expected to conduct -themselves as acquaintances without this -formality. In our country, however, the -custom has not prevailed to any considerable -extent, and it is not ordinarily proper -for strangers to address each other without -having been introduced, even though they -are fellow-guests.</p> - -<p>A hostess should introduce all her guests -one to another at ordinary dinner-parties, -luncheons, or breakfasts. But, in the case -of very large dinner-parties, she is required -only to introduce those who are to be partners -at table, though it is advisable for her -to make other introductions to any extent -convenient. At the table, however, introductions -should be carefully avoided. If -the women leave the table before the men, -other introductions may be made among -them in the drawing-room. The men, too,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_90" id="Page_90">[90]</a></span> -on returning to the drawing-room may be -presented to such women as they have not -already met.</p> - -<p>When a hostess receives at home, she -should introduce each new arrival to some -of the guests who are near by. If she has -an assistant in receiving, each guest should -be presented. On formal occasions, it is -not her duty to go about among the guests -in order to introduce them.</p> - -<p>The hostess at a large ball follows a -similar course of conduct. But in less -formal affairs she should be at pains to -see that no guest is neglected, and that -each, as far as possible, has a due share -in the dancing.</p> - -<p>It is especially desirable on all formal -occasions, such as large balls for example, -that a man wishing to present a friend to -a woman should first privately ask her -permission.</p> - -<p>Introductions of a very casual sort should -never be taken too seriously. This applies -particularly to those made in a public<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_91" id="Page_91">[91]</a></span> -place, such as the street, when a person -accompanied by a friend meets an acquaintance, -who is a stranger to that friend, and -there is a pause for a brief chat. Usually, -there is no occasion for an introduction -under these circumstances, and if one is -made it may be afterward ignored. As a -matter of fact, only a rather extensive conversation -between the acquaintances would -justify an introduction. Perfunctory introductions -of those temporarily associated -in a game on the tennis court, or the like, -are to be regarded as equally casual, and -not of a sort necessitating subsequent -recognition.</p> - -<p>Introductions may be formally made by -letter. In such case, the letter should deal -exclusively with the introduction. There -is no set form, but the following will serve -as a sufficient guide, to be varied according -to personal inclination:</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_92" id="Page_92">[92]</a></span></p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<div class="right"> -<i>Burlington, Vermont.</i><br /> -<span style="margin-right: 1em;"><i>June 1, 1919.</i></span><br /> -</div> - -<i>My dear Mrs. Smith:</i> - -<p><i>It gives me great pleasure to introduce -to you my friend, Miss Truesdale, -who is about to visit relatives in your -city. I shall deeply appreciate any -courtesy you may show her.</i></p> - -<p><i>With kindest regards to yourself -and Mr. Smith, I am,</i></p> - -<div class="sig"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yours sincerely,</span><br /> -Mabel Potter</i><br /> -</div></div> - -<p>A similar form will suffice for the introduction -of a man, whether to another man -or to a woman. Discretion should be exercised -always in the granting of letters -of introduction, and it is well to write a -separate letter giving details concerning -the person thus introduced. The letter of -introduction itself should be placed in an -addressed envelope, which is left unsealed,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93">[93]</a></span> -to be presented in person by the one to be -introduced.</p> - -<p>Instead of a letter, a common practise -uses the visiting-card of the person making -the introduction. In such case, a line is -written across the top of the card.</p> - -<div class="center"><i>Introducing Mr. Russell Elliot</i></div> - -<p>This card also is enclosed within its -proper envelope, duly addressed, but unsealed, -and delivered to the person for -whose benefit it is given.</p> - -<p>It is common for a man to call at the -residence of the person to whom the introduction -is addressed, and there give the -envelope, still unsealed, to the servant, together -with his own card. In the absence -of the host or hostess, the caller places his -own card inside the envelope, which is -then sealed, and left. A woman never -follows this procedure. She places her -card in the envelope containing the introduction, -which is then sealed, and dropped -in the post for delivery.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_94" id="Page_94">[94]</a></span></p> - -<p>One receiving such a letter of introduction, -whether man or woman, is expected, -if the bearer is a woman, to call on her -within two days’ time, and to follow this -up with some sort of hospitable entertainment. -If, for any imperative reason, a -call is impossible, a letter should be written -in explanation.</p> - -<p>The like procedure is followed when both -parties are men. But when a man presents -such a letter of introduction to a woman, -she does not, of course, call upon him, but -writes to extend her hospitable offers.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_95" id="Page_95">[95]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>LETTERS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t2.jpg" width="130" height="140" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE MOST TROUBLESOME -detail in letter-writing -is the matter of address. -It should be noted that there -is a distinction between <i>Dear</i> -and <i>My dear</i>. In our country, the more formal -style is with the pronoun, while the pronoun -is omitted in writing to friends. A -letter to a mere acquaintance begins -with the words, <i>My dear</i> ............................. -But the form for an intimate is simply -<i>Dear</i> .............................</p> - -<p>The usual address for business purposes -and to those with whom no social relations -are established is <i>Dear Sir</i>. The plural -is used in addressing firms, <i>Dear Sirs</i>, or -the one word <i>Gentlemen</i>, may be employed.</p> - -<p>In addressing a man with whom social -relations are established, the surname is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96">[96]</a></span> -used, preceded by <i>Dear</i> or <i>My dear</i>, according -to the degree of intimacy. <i>My dear -Mr. Hudson; Dear Mr. Grant.</i></p> - -<p>A woman who is a stranger may be addressed -either as <i>Madam</i> or <i>Dear Madam</i>, -whether she be married or unmarried. The -form “<i>Dear Miss</i>” is to be avoided under all -circumstances.</p> - -<p>For the woman with whom the writer is -formally acquainted, the address is: <i>My -dear Mrs.</i> .............................., if she is married, -and <i>My dear Miss</i> ............................, if she is -unmarried. When the person is a friend, -she should be addressed: <i>Dear Mrs.</i> ................, -if she is a married woman, and <i>Dear Miss</i> -............................, if she is unmarried.</p> - -<p>The full name should be signed to formal -letters. The married woman should use -her own Christian name, not her husband’s -with the <i>Mrs.</i> prefixed. But, in business -communications to strangers, she may very -properly give her husband’s name with the -prefix <i>Mrs.</i>, below her usual signature, and -inclosed in parenthesis.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97">[97]</a></span></p> - -<p>Similarly, for the sake of clearness, a -business letter by an unmarried woman -may have <i>Miss</i> in parenthesis before the -name.</p> - -<p>Envelopes should be addressed to the -recipient with the full name and necessary -prefix—-<i>Mr.</i>, <i>Mrs.</i>, or <i>Miss</i>.</p> - -<p>The <i>Mr.</i>, however, must be omitted if -<i>Esq.</i> is written after the name. The English -custom limits the use of Esquire to -those who are technically gentlemen. For -example, <i>Esq.</i> is placed after the name in -addressing a barrister, but it must not be -used in writing to a tradesman, who is -given only the prefix <i>Mr.</i></p> - -<p>The prefix <i>Mr.</i> is used when Junior or -Senior is indicated after the name by an -abbreviation. In such case, <i>Esq.</i> must -never be written.</p> - -<p>It must be noted also that in the case of -addresses, as with cards, to which attention -has already been given, the husband’s title -must not be given to the wife. <i>Mrs. Colonel</i>, -<i>Mrs. Doctor</i>, <i>Mrs. Professor</i>, and the like,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_98" id="Page_98">[98]</a></span> -are barbarisms, which are not tolerated in -America or England. The Germans, however, -use them.</p> - -<p>The phrase before the signature to a -letter varies according to the circumstances, -and especially according to the individual -taste. Thus, in concluding a very formal -communication, it is quite proper to use -the old-fashioned wording, <i>I am, my dear -Madam, your obedient servant</i>. An ordinary -convenient form that covers a wide field -is, <i>I remain</i>, <i>Yours sincerely</i>, or <i>Yours -faithfully</i>, or <i>Yours cordially</i>, writing <i>I -remain</i> on one line, and the <i>Yours</i>, etc., on -the line below. Thus:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>I remain,<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 6em;">Yours sincerely,</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<p><i>Yours truly</i>, or <i>Very truly yours</i>, is best -reserved for business communications. -<i>Yours respectfully</i> is applicable for business -communications, and also for letters addressed -to superiors, and for use generally -as a rather meaningless style.</p> - -<p>Men of exalted position are commonly<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_99" id="Page_99">[99]</a></span> -addressed as <i>Sir</i> without any qualifying -word. And the form in ending is, <i>I have, -Sir, the honor to remain Your most obedient -servant</i>—<i>Your</i>, etc., forming a separate -line.</p> - -<p>A letter of a social sort would begin, -<i>My dear Mr. President</i>.</p> - -<p>The like form would suffice for the vice-president, -except for a letter of social character, -when he should be addressed by -name, <i>My dear Mr. ........................</i>.</p> - -<p>A justice of the supreme court, a senator, -a member of the house of representatives, -a cabinet officer, the governor of a state, -etc., all have the same formal <i>Sir</i> as the -address and the corresponding phrase in -conclusion. But there is variation in the -address when the letter is of social import. -The justice may be addressed <i>My dear Justice -.................</i>, or <i>Dear Mr. Justice -.................</i>.</p> - -<p>The senator is addressed <i>My dear Senator -.......................</i>. The representative in -congress is addressed <i>My dear Mr. ................</i>.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_100" id="Page_100">[100]</a></span></p> - -<p>On the envelope, the forms are respectively -<i>Mr. Justice ...................</i>, <i>Senator -.......................</i>, <i>Hon. ..............</i> (for the -congressman).</p> - -<p>The social letter to a cabinet officer addresses -him by name, <i>My dear .................</i>, -and has on the envelope <i>Hon.</i> preceding the -name and his official designation following -it.</p> - -<p>A governor is usually addressed <i>My dear -Governor .......................</i>. And the envelope -should have the title preceding the name.</p> - -<p>In all cases except that of the President, -the conclusion of a social letter is a simple -form such as, <i>I remain, Yours very sincerely</i>.</p> - -<p>A mayor is addressed either as <i>Sir</i>, or -<i>Your Honor</i>, in formal communications, -and as <i>My dear Mayor .................</i> in -social correspondence. The envelope properly -gives him a full designation, <i>His Honor -the Mayor of ....................</i>. The name -follows, written on a lower line.</p> - -<p>The form of address is the same for both<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_101" id="Page_101">[101]</a></span> -official and social letters in the case of a -Roman Catholic archbishop: <i>Most Reverend -and Dear Sir</i>. The conclusion should -run: <i>I have the honor to remain Your obedient -servant</i>—<i>Your</i>, etc., being written on -a lower line. The envelope carries <i>The -Most Reverend ......................., Archbishop of -..................</i>.</p> - -<p>All letters to a cardinal begin <i>Your Eminence</i>. -The conclusion is the same as to -an archbishop. The envelope reads <i>His -Eminence Cardinal ........................</i>.</p> - -<p>For a Roman Catholic bishop all letters -begin <i>Right Reverend and Dear Sir</i>. The -conclusion is that used for the preceding -prelates. On the envelope: <i>The Right -Reverend .................., Bishop of ...........</i>.</p> - -<p>A Protestant bishop, also, is addressed -<i>Right Reverend and Dear Sir</i> officially, but -a social letter begins <i>My dear Bishop -....................</i>. The conclusion may take -the form given for Roman Catholic dignitaries, -but for social letters it is sufficient -to write, <i>I remain Yours sincerely</i>. The<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_102" id="Page_102">[102]</a></span> -envelope reads: <i>The Right Reverend ................, -Bishop of ............................</i>.</p> - -<p>Both priests and Protestant clergymen -are officially addressed: <i>Reverend and Dear -Sir</i>. But, in a social letter, the beginning -is <i>Dear Father ..................</i>, in the case of -a priest; while the Protestant minister is -addressed as <i>Dear Mr. ........................</i>, or -<i>Dear Doctor ....................</i>, if he has such a -title. The conclusion for either need be -no more than: <i>I remain, Yours very sincerely</i>. -The envelope bears, <i>The Reverend -......................</i>.</p> - -<p>The possession of degrees may be indicated -by writing the proper initials after -the name. Where the clergyman has the -degree of Doctor, this is sometimes used as -an abbreviation preceding the name—<i>The -Reverend Dr. .........................</i>.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_103" id="Page_103">[103]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>LUNCHEONS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t3.jpg" width="131" height="138" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE ETIQUETTE for a -luncheon is essentially the -same as that for a breakfast, -which has already been described. -But the luncheon -at present enjoys a popularity that is distinctive -in one respect: it serves conveniently -very often as a function wholly for -the entertainment of feminine guests.</p> - -<p>The usual hour for a luncheon is from -one to two o’clock. The invitations, unless -the affair is to be quite informal, should -be sent out ten days before the date set. -As in the case of a breakfast, the invitation -may be sent on a visiting-card, writing -below the name:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Luncheon at one o’clock<br /> -April the fourth</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_104" id="Page_104">[104]</a></span></p> - -<p>For an especially formal affair, the invitation -should be engraved on square -white cards of large size, similar to those -employed for dinner-invitations.</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. George Vinton Thorne<br /> -<br /> -requests the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -........................................<br /> -<br /> -company at luncheon<br /> -<br /> -on ..............................<br /> -<br /> -at .......................... o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Eleven Green Street</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>A note written in the first person may -convey the invitation, if the hostess prefers -this manner.</p> - -<p>The acceptance or refusal of an invitation -may be in the third person, following -the examples given in the chapter on dinners, -or it may be written as a note in the -first person. In either case, the method -used in the invitation itself must govern -the style of the reply.</p> - -<p>At the more formal luncheon, the menu<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_105" id="Page_105">[105]</a></span> -may be elaborate, with oysters, bouillon, -fish, and other courses following to any -desired extent, but care must be taken -always that the general character of the -viands served must not be oversubstantial. -The meal should be of a distinctively lighter -sort as compared with dinner.</p> - -<p>The women guests usually wear their -most effective frocks. Wraps are left in -the cloak-room provided, or, if this is lacking, -in the hall. The hats are not removed, -but the veil is either pushed up out of the -way, or removed, according to the wearer’s -pleasure. The gloves are taken off after -arrival at table, and left in the lap, covered -by the napkin.</p> - -<p>A guest should remain for at least half -an hour after the completion of the meal, -and from this minimum of time up to an -hour or perhaps a little longer, according -to the particular circumstances.</p> - -<p>The farewell of each guest should, of -course, contain some phrase expressing appreciation -of the hospitality enjoyed.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_106" id="Page_106">[106]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>MOURNING</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t4.jpg" width="130" height="138" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THERE IS ROOM for so -much variety in the expression -of personal tastes as -to the matter of mourning -that hard-and-fast rules are -of doubtful value. There is, however, some -degree of exactness as to the dress suitable -for widows, although, even in this connection, -individual choice and the changes of -fashion exert their influence to the display -of differing modes.</p> - -<p>The widow’s mourning may be divided -into three periods, termed respectively first, -second and third.</p> - -<p>The first mourning includes the entire -costume in black. Usually, the material -of the dress is of worsted, with a trimming -of crêpe. The black bonnet is of crêpe, -and from it hangs a long veil, also of crêpe.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_107" id="Page_107">[107]</a></span> -Formerly, these veils were of extreme -length, reaching even to the hem of the -gown. The tendency has been, however, -toward shortening the veil, and the present -fashion insists on only a moderate length. -Another veil, worn over the face, was formerly -both long and heavy, but the style -has been modified, and at present it is of -lighter texture and of much briefer proportions. -The bonnet has white ruching -within the front edge, and the gown is -trimmed with sheer white cuffs, and a collar -of the same material.</p> - -<p>The gloves must be of dull black, and -ornaments of dull jet, with a black-bordered -handkerchief.</p> - -<p>This first mourning should be worn for a -full year. A change may then be made to -second mourning, in which the dress may -be of crêpe de chine or dull silk, with a hat -carrying black chiffon, etc., and ornaments -of dull jet.</p> - -<p>The third mourning is assumed after -another six months. In this white and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_108" id="Page_108">[108]</a></span> -lilac are permitted to relieve the somberness -of the attire. This mourning is worn -for a period of six months, also, after which -colors may be resumed.</p> - -<p>It should be noted that the white ruche -on the bonnet is the one distinctive feature -of the first mourning that designates -the wearer as a widow. A woman may -wear exactly the same costume, with the -exception of this white ruche on the bonnet, -in the mourning for a parent, a child, a -brother or a sister.</p> - -<p>The period for wearing mourning in such -case, and the changes in it, may follow the -details given above for widows.</p> - -<p>Mourning for a parent-in-law is black, -with the crêpe omitted. This is worn for -only a month, and is followed by any preferred -combinations of black and white, relieved -by lilac, for a fortnight or a little -longer.</p> - -<p>The mourning for close relatives worn -by a young unmarried woman does not -include the bonnet and veil. Instead, a<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_109" id="Page_109">[109]</a></span> -hat trimmed with crêpe is worn, and a -black net veil over the face is trimmed -with crêpe. After six months or a year, -the crêpe is omitted from hat and veil, and -also from the gown. Black and white and -lilac are then deemed suitable. Usually, -however, the older unmarried women wear -the veil and bonnet of the first mourning, -as do widows, but with the white ruche -omitted.</p> - -<p>Mourning is not usually adopted when -the death is of relatives-in-law or of a -grandparent.</p> - -<p>Three months is ordinarily sufficient for -mourning in the case of an uncle or aunt, -and it does not include crêpe. Ornaments -may be worn, though preferably of a very -quiet sort.</p> - -<p>In general, it is well to bear in mind -that mourning should not be worn except -for the members of one’s immediate family. -Of course, the particular circumstances in -each case must be a determining factor. -For example, while mourning is not customarily<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_110" id="Page_110">[110]</a></span> -worn for a cousin, yet a girl who -had made a home with such a relative -might appropriately wear mourning as for -her own mother.</p> - -<p>Crêpe is not deemed suitable for girls -not yet old enough for a formal entrance -into society, and children should be spared -the lugubrious trappings of woe in every -case. But a girl about sixteen years of age, -on the death of a member of the family, -appropriately wears a black dress, relieved -only by touches of white, and a black hat, -with dull black ribbons. She should leave -off jewelry, but she should not carry a -handkerchief with black border.</p> - -<p>The mourning for a widower is often -divided into two periods. During the first, -black is worn throughout in the costume, -with white linen. The hat-band is of crêpe. -The present tendency is to make this band -much narrower than it was of yore. It is -left off altogether after a year, or perhaps -eight months, as the second mourning -begins. The second mourning permits the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_111" id="Page_111">[111]</a></span> -use of gray and white in the costume. A -man’s mourning for a child, parent, brother -or sister may continue for a full year, or it -may be put off after six months according -to his choice. The mourning includes a -hat-band of crêpe. If a man wishes to -wear mourning for a more distant relative, -he may use the black and white and gray -of the widower’s second period, but men -ordinarily do not assume mourning for any -except closest relations.</p> - -<p>A mourning band on the sleeve is sometimes -worn by men, but it is impossible to -describe its significance from the standpoint -of propriety, since it is worn equally -for those most closely related and for those -most distantly, without distinction, and -since it is a custom derived originally from -England, where it serves as a cheap method -of providing mourning liveries for servants.</p> - -<p>After the loss of a close relation, a woman -pays no calls for six months. After that -time, she may visit her intimates, but not -on their at-home days. She may also attend<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_112" id="Page_112">[112]</a></span> -concerts and theater matinées and the like, -in a very quiet way. After a year, she -may appear at small dinners, and at the -theater in the evening, and the like. But -box parties and all the elaborate functions, -such for example as balls, must not be -resumed until the period of mourning has -expired.</p> - -<p>Elderly women are likely to prefer a -mourning garb for the remainder of their -lifetime, after the death of a husband. In -such cases, after perhaps two years, the -widow’s bonnet and veil are given up, and -nun’s veiling is substituted. While the -gown remains black, the crêpe is omitted -from it, and the mourning handkerchief is -no longer carried. Jewelry is worn, but not -of an ostentatious kind.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_113" id="Page_113">[113]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>MUSICALES</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t5.jpg" width="134" height="139" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE MUSICALE is merely -a formal at home where -music is made a special -feature of the entertainment. -Throughout, the -procedure is that of an at home, and the -details are to be found in full in the -chapter under that heading. The only -formal difference is in the wording of the -invitation, which makes mention of music -as the feature.</p> - -<p>The invitations are engraved, and may -take either of the two usual forms, according -to the choice of the hostess.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_114" id="Page_114">[114]</a></span></p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mrs. George H. Baxter<br /> -<br /> -requests the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -.......................................<br /> -<br /> -company<br /> -<br /> -at a musicale<br /> -<br /> -on Friday evening, May first<br /> -<br /> -at half-past nine o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Twenty-seven Maple Street</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Or the at-home form may be used as -follows:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. George H. Baxter<br /> -<br /> -At Home<br /> -<br /> -Friday evening, May first<br /> -<br /> -at half-past nine o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Twenty-seven Maple Street<br /> -<br /> -Music</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Such an affair in the evening is often of -the most elaborate character, and is essentially -a concert. But a musicale may be -given with equal propriety in the afternoon. -The form for engraved invitations<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_115" id="Page_115">[115]</a></span> -is precisely the same, with the single exception -of the hours named, for the afternoon -entertainment specifies the time as <i>from -four until seven o’clock</i>.</p> - -<p>For a less formal occasion, a hostess may -extend her invitations by sending a visiting-card, -on which she writes, below her name, -<i>Friday, May first, four to seven o’clock</i>, and -underneath this the single word <i>Music</i>. -Or in place of the word <i>Music</i>, she may -write <i>To hear</i> .............. adding the name -of a particular performer.</p> - -<p>The obligations of the guests follow in -all respects those to which attention has -been already given under the title “At -Homes.” Thus, in the matter of costumes, -the usage resembles that explained concerning -correct garb for both afternoon -and evening receptions in the earlier -chapter.</p> - -<p>It might be well to emphasize the fact -that no direct reply is required for an invitation -announcing that the hostess will be -at home on a certain date. But the case is<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_116" id="Page_116">[116]</a></span> -quite otherwise when that form of invitation -is employed which requests the pleasure -of the guest’s company. This demands -a prompt answer, whether of acceptance or -of refusal, which should be couched in the -third person. Thus:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Henry Sage Beckett<br /> -<br /> -accept with pleasure<br /> -<br /> -Mrs. Baxter’s kind invitation<br /> -<br /> -for May first<br /> -<br /> -Nineteen Wentworth Square<br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">April twenty-first, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<p>Or, in the event of inability to accept, or -disinclination, the answer should run as -follows:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Henry Sage Beckett<br /> -<br /> -regret that a previous engagement<br /> -<br /> -prevents their acceptance<br /> -<br /> -of Mrs. Baxter’s kind invitation<br /> -<br /> -for May first<br /> -<br /> -Nineteen Wentworth Square<br /> -<br /> -<span style="margin-left: 12em;">April twenty-first, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117">[117]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>OPERA</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-a.jpg" width="136" height="141" alt="A" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">A SUFFICIENT FORM for -an invitation to an opera -party will be found in the -chapter on the theater, -which needs only a verbal -change to specify the particular performance -at the opera instead of at the playhouse. -In general, also, the procedure -suited to attendance at the theater is to -be followed in connection with the opera. -But there are certain differences that -should be regarded.</p> - -<p>The dress for the opera is more formal -than for the theater, generally speaking. -The man, for example, usually keeps his -white gloves on. The woman, for her part, -wears a gown that is sleeveless and decolleté, -and displays jewels according to her -means or taste. An aigrette takes the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118">[118]</a></span> -place of the hat that may be worn to the -theater. Nevertheless, it is quite permissible -for a woman occupying a stall in the -orchestra at the opera to wear a costume -of the sort commonly seen at the theater.</p> - -<p>Visiting at the opera is a distinctive -feature, facilitated as it is by the number -of boxes, so greatly in excess of those with -which the theater is supplied. For it is -with the boxes that this visiting is chiefly -concerned, though it reaches to some extent -to the orchestra stalls.</p> - -<p>Between acts is the proper time for such -calls, which are usually, but not exclusively, -paid by men. A gentleman may -call on a lady of his acquaintance in a box, -though she is a guest of a host or hostess -who is not known to him. In such case, -the woman to whom he pays the visit must -introduce him to her entertainer. But an -introduction of the sort is merely formal, -and entails no necessity of subsequent -recognition by either party.</p> - -<p>No more than five minutes, or even less,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_119" id="Page_119">[119]</a></span> -should be given to such calls, but some discretion -is permitted by the particular circumstances. -Thus, where there are many -coming and going, the time should be -shorter than when there are few other -visitors, or none. The call should never -extend beyond the end of the intermission.</p> - -<p>Since an opera box is equipped with a -vestibule of its own, the women do not -leave their wraps in the cloak-room, but -wait until their arrival at the box, when -they are taken off in the vestibule. Afterward, -on entering the box, the chaperon -and other older women precede the younger, -and are offered the choice of seats. But -they usually prefer the less conspicuous -positions, and the chairs at the rail are -given to the débutantes, or younger matrons. -The exact arrangement is always a -matter for the display of tact on the part -of host or hostess.</p> - -<p>Visiting among the stalls is necessarily -more limited, but is practised to any extent -rendered convenient by location.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_120" id="Page_120">[120]</a></span></p> - -<p>In such visiting, the ordinary amenities -of social intercourse are to be observed. -The men, for example, must stand when a -lady enters the box in which they are seated, -and they should remain standing until her -departure, or until she has taken a chair.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_121" id="Page_121">[121]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>PRIVATE THEATRICALS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-p.jpg" width="129" height="130" alt="P" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">PRIVATE THEATRICALS -are usually the feature of an -evening function.</p> - -<p>The form of invitation is -exactly the same as for a -musicale, with the one exception in substituting -<i>Theatricals at ten o’clock</i>. The -phrase appears thus in the at-home form -of announcement. When the invitation -requests the pleasure of the guest’s company, -<i>At Private Theatricals</i> is preferred -as the descriptive statement.</p> - -<p>On occasions when the theatricals are -to be followed by a dance, the word <i>Dancing</i> -is added at the bottom of the card.</p> - -<p>The letters <i>R.s.v.p.</i> are commonly employed -in connection with such invitations, -and their appearance on the card emphasizes -the necessity of a written reply.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_122" id="Page_122">[122]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>RECEPTIONS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-a2.jpg" width="131" height="138" alt="A" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">ALL DETAILS of the etiquette -that has to do with -receptions, whether they are -held in the afternoon or in -the evening, are carefully -described in the chapter treating various -forms of the at home.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_123" id="Page_123">[123]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>SMOKING</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-a3.jpg" width="131" height="130" alt="A" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">A GUEST in the home of -another must not smoke unless -invited to do so by host -or hostess.</p> - -<p>A man in the presence of -a lady must not smoke unless he asks for, -and receives, permission to do so.</p> - -<p>A man should not smoke when walking -with a woman in public.</p> - -<p>A man must not converse while holding -cigar, pipe, or cigarette in his mouth.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_124" id="Page_124">[124]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>STAIRS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-i.jpg" width="122" height="131" alt="I" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">IN A FORMER generation, -women hid their ankles, and -gave brief glimpses of them -only by accident or naughty -design. It was then required -of a gentleman that he should precede a -lady in ascending stairs. To-day, fashion -has cleared away all mystery concerning -feminine ankles, and a gentleman is permitted -to follow the lady as she mounts the -stairs.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_125" id="Page_125">[125]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>STREET ETIQUETTE</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-w2.jpg" width="129" height="130" alt="W" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">WHEN A MAN and woman -walk together in the street, -the man’s proper position is -usually on the side toward -the curb, and he maintains -this place also when walking with two -women. He should never station himself -between them, unless under the informal -circumstances of a country road, or the like.</p> - -<p>In the day time, a man does not offer a -woman his arm when they walk together, -though of course he should give her the -support of his hand under her elbow when -such assistance is obviously required, as -in mounting the steps of a car. But in the -evening a man properly offers his arm to a -woman when they are to walk together, -and she lays her hand on his forearm. -They should never hook arms.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_126" id="Page_126">[126]</a></span></p> - -<p>When a man and woman who are acquainted -with each other meet in the -street, it is the woman’s place to extend -recognition by a nod and smile, which -latter varies from coldness to warmth -according to her will. On receiving such -recognition, for which in any formal acquaintance -he must wait, the man raises -his hat, and at the same time bows.</p> - -<p>When a man is walking with a woman, -he must salute in the same fashion any -others that pass who recognize either himself -or his companion, except that where -the person is not an acquaintance of his -own, he merely lifts his hat without bowing.</p> - -<p>When a man encounters a woman on the -street, and wishes to talk with her, he -should not detain her, but with her permission -should turn and walk beside her. -The woman, however, is privileged thus to -retain the man in conversation, but she -should withdraw to one side, out of the -way of passers-by.</p> - -<p>In escorting a woman in a car, the man<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_127" id="Page_127">[127]</a></span> -should assist her to enter, and then follow. -But in leaving, he precedes her and descends -first, then turning to help her down.</p> - -<p>Good sense must determine the precise -conduct for propriety in various circumstances. -Ordinarily, where a couple cannot -well walk side by side, the man follows -behind the woman. But where the way -is difficult for any reason, he goes in advance—as, -for example, when it becomes -necessary to force the way through a -crowd.</p> - -<p>Some men make a point of standing uncovered -throughout the length of any conversation -with a woman in the street. -This mode is not to be encouraged, especially -in the inclement northern winter. -Merely raising the hat at meeting and -again at parting is quite sufficient.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_128" id="Page_128">[128]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>TABLE MANNERS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-d.jpg" width="127" height="131" alt="D" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">DEPORTMENT AT TABLE -is the most important single -item in the total of good -manners. Yet, the requirements -are very simple—so -simple indeed that there is little excuse -for those who fail in them.</p> - -<p>It should hardly be necessary to say -that the position must be one of well-balanced -erectness. A man’s hands should -be kept in his lap when not busy. So of -a woman’s—formerly. Of recent years, -a new custom has crept in, and it is common -to see a woman’s forearm or elbow -resting at ease on the table.</p> - -<p>The napkin is only partly unfolded, and -laid across the lap. In the case of a woman, -it covers her gloves, which she has taken -off on seating herself. At the end of the<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_129" id="Page_129">[129]</a></span> -meal, the crumpled napkin is laid beside -the plate. But, when making an extended -stay with friends, the napkin is folded if -the host and hostess fold theirs in preparation -for use at another meal.</p> - -<p>The knife is employed only for cutting -purposes, being then held in the right hand. -It is afterward put down, while the fork -is transferred to the right hand for passing -food to the mouth. When not in use both -knife and fork are left on the plate. They -should not be held in the hands, or laid -down on the table. They are to remain -on the plate also if it is sent for another -helping. When eating is ended, knife and -fork are laid together on the plate—parallel, -points to the center, and the fork tines -down.</p> - -<p>The fork should be used throughout -with the tines downward. It is only used -spoon-fashion for small vegetables such as -peas. The fork rather than a spoon should -be used for eating ices, melons, and the -like. It is used to fold lettuce and other<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_130" id="Page_130">[130]</a></span> -salad leaves, which must not be cut with -a knife.</p> - -<p>The knife is used only for cutting, and -is afterward laid down on the plate.</p> - -<p>Beverages in glasses or cups are tested -by sipping from a spoon, which is then -laid down. Afterward one drinks directly -from the container. The spoon must never -be allowed to stand in a cup or glass. For -taking soup, the spoon is pushed forward, -not drawn toward one. The soup plate is -never tipped. The liquid must be taken -into the mouth from the side of the spoon -never from the end.</p> - -<p>Boiled eggs are properly eaten with a -spoon, of course, as are jellies, custards -and the like, grape-fruit and various fruits -served with cream, and cereals.</p> - -<p>A finger-bowl is properly used on finishing -a fruit course. A slight rinsing of the -finger-tips suffices, after which they are -wiped on the napkin.</p> - -<p>Butter is not served at formal dinners.</p> - -<p>At all other meals a special plate is laid<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_131" id="Page_131">[131]</a></span> -for bread and butter, and a small knife -of silver for spreading the butter. The -bread is broken with the fingers, a mouthful -at a time and separately buttered. -Cake is eaten either in the fingers or with -a fork.</p> - -<p>Cheese is cut into small pieces. Each -piece is placed on a mouthful of bread or -cracker, and then eaten from the fingers.</p> - -<p>Apples, pears, etc., are quartered, peeled, -cut in mouthfuls, and then eaten from -the fingers. Smaller fruits with pits are -eaten from the fingers. Each pit is taken -from the mouth in the closed hand and deposited -on the plate.</p> - -<p>Asparagus is eaten with a fork. That -part of the stalk not easily cut by the fork -is left. But burr artichokes are eaten from -the fingers a leaf at a time, after it has -been dipped in the sauce. Only the heart -demands the use of a fork.</p> - -<p>Celery, olives and radishes are eaten -from the fingers. So, also, are crystallized -fruits, almonds and other nuts.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_132" id="Page_132">[132]</a></span></p> - -<p>When leaving the table at the conclusion -of a meal elsewhere than in one’s own -house, the chair is left without being -pushed back close to the table.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_133" id="Page_133">[133]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>TEAS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-i2.jpg" width="129" height="136" alt="I" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">IN THE COUNTRY, where -the dinner is in the middle -of the day, the evening meal -is called either supper or -tea, and an invitation to tea -ordinarily means an invitation to the evening -meal. In England, where afternoon -tea-serving is universal among all classes, -the evening meal is frequently designated -high tea.</p> - -<p>The proprieties concerning afternoon tea -are explained in the chapter entitled, “At -Homes.”</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_134" id="Page_134">[134]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>THEATER-PARTIES</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-w3.jpg" width="125" height="126" alt="W" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">WHEN A THEATER-PARTY -is to be given, it is not customary -to use the engraved -form of invitations, but notes -written in the first person -suffice.</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p class="right"> -<i>97 Hamilton Street,<br /> -<span style="margin-right: 1em;">May 1, 1919</span></i><br /> -</p> - -<i>My dear Miss Hammer:</i> - -<p><i>Will you give me the pleasure of -dining with me on Wednesday evening -of next week, at seven o’clock, and of -afterward witnessing the new play at -the Brooke Theater?</i></p> - -<p><i>In the hope that you are free that -evening and kindly disposed toward my -invitation, I remain,</i></p> - -<p class="sig"> -<i><span style="margin-right: 2em;">Yours sincerely,</span><br /> -Mary Holmes</i><br /> -</p></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_135" id="Page_135">[135]</a></span></p> - -<p>To such an invitation, the guest should -return an immediate reply, either of acceptance -or rejection, written in the first person, -after the manner of the other missive.</p> - -<p>It is within the discretion of the host or -hostess to secure orchestra seats, or a box. -Care should be taken, in the case of a box, -not to have a sufficient number of guests -to cause crowding. The invitations should -be sent out about a week before the evening -of the party, but a longer or shorter -notice is permissible. A bachelor may find -it more convenient to give his invitations -in person, orally, and such laxity is allowable -on his part.</p> - -<p>The giver of the entertainment may use -his or her discretion in having attendance -on the play preceded by an early dinner-party, -which may include all or only a part -of his guests; or having it followed by a -supper-party. Or the theater alone may -be deemed a sufficient entertainment.</p> - -<p>Very often, a host orders an omnibus to -collect his guests for a theater-party and<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_136" id="Page_136">[136]</a></span> -to carry them to the theater, and back -home after the performance. If this is -done, the invitation should specify the -fact, and notify the guest of the exact -time of the omnibus’s arrival.</p> - -<p>When a man invites an unmarried woman -to be his companion at the theater, he is -expected also to invite another woman, -either a relation or friend, according to -circumstances, who shall act as chaperon. -But this rule is not too strictly enforced -where a friendship exists between a man -and a spinster of mature age.</p> - -<p>It is the duty of the man to call in person -for his guests, and to provide them -with fitting transportation to and from the -theater. On their arrival at the theater, if -the women leave their wraps in the cloak-room, -he also should check his hat and -coat. He allows the ladies to precede him, -and inside the theater secures programs -for them, and then gives his checks to the -usher. The usher now leads the way, with -the ladies following and the host bringing<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137">[137]</a></span> -up the rear. If he has retained his coat -and hat, he places his hat under the seat -and lays the folded coat over the back of -the chair or holds it across his knees. He -is careful always to retain the checks during -the evening since lack of them might -prove embarrassing if any error has been -made in the seating arrangements, as -sometimes happens.</p> - -<p>A man thus escorting ladies to the theater -properly remains with them throughout -the performance. The only justifiable excuse -for leaving them for a few minutes is -when he occupies an aisle seat, and then -only when during an intermission a friend -comes to pay his respects, who can take -his place until the rising of the curtain.</p> - -<p>The man wears evening dress for the -theater. He should by no means appear -in a tailless coat when acting as an escort -for ladies, or when a guest in a party that -includes ladies. He is permitted, however, -to remove his gloves on arrival at the theater. -The silk hat is often inconvenient for<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_138" id="Page_138">[138]</a></span> -theater purposes, and for that reason the -crush hat has been preferred. But this -folding form of headgear has lost its vogue -to a great extent, and there is a growing -tendency toward the use of a black soft hat -for such evening wear.</p> - -<p>The more usual form of woman’s dress is -not the decolleté of the ball-gown, but a -less extreme style, with sleeves. It is, of -course, of such elegance as to suit the -occasion. But the low-neck and sleeveless -gown is frequently to be seen, more especially -in the boxes.</p> - -<p>With the less formal costume, a hat is -worn. This and the veil may be removed -in the cloak-room, or, if the wrap is retained, -it may be kept on until the seat is -reached. The outer garment is then folded -and laid over the back of the chair. After -having seated herself, the woman then unpins -her veil and removes it, together with -the hat, and these are afterward held in -the lap.</p> - -<p>If the arrival at the theater is a little<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_139" id="Page_139">[139]</a></span> -late, and the wraps are not left in the -cloak-room, it is the part of good taste to -remove them before passing down the aisle -to the seats. Otherwise, their removal becomes -an unpleasant interruption to those -seated near by.</p> - -<p>This same matter of consideration for -the rights of others is the reason why it is -necessary that the hats should be removed, -since it would shut off the view of the stage -from those seated behind. It should be -borne in mind always, also, that this consideration -for others should extend to the -matter of conversation during the performance, -which must be rigidly suppressed. -Care ought to be taken in every respect lest -there be an impolite intrusion on the rights -of others.</p> - -<p>If there is supper in a restaurant after -the play, the wraps should be left in the -cloak-room as a rule, but a woman may -retain one of a sort that is not cumbersome, -according to her pleasure. The hat is not -removed for the meal. The veil may<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_140" id="Page_140">[140]</a></span> -either be pushed up or taken off according -to the individual preference. The gloves -are removed after the party is seated at -table, and kept in the lap under the napkin -until the conclusion of the meal. They are -put on again before leaving the table.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_141" id="Page_141">[141]</a></span></p> - - - - -<h2>WEDDINGS</h2> - - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/drop-t2.jpg" width="130" height="140" alt="T" /> -</div> - -<p class="drop-capi">THE WEDDING-INVITATIONS -are sent out fully -two weeks before the marriage, -at least, and they -may be sent earlier, up to -a limit of two months.</p> - -<p>The invitation is engraved on white -paper, of which there is a double sheet. -The invitation itself must occupy only the -first page. An average size is between -seven and eight inches in length and about -an inch less in width. Script is usually -preferred. The invitation is folded once -and placed in an unsealed envelope with -the guest’s name written on it. Another -envelope is used to contain this, on which -are written both the name and address,<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_142" id="Page_142">[142]</a></span> -and it is sealed for delivery by post or -messenger.</p> - -<p>It should be borne in mind that, while -husband and wife are joined in a single -invitation, other members of the family -must be separately invited, except that -more than one daughter may be included -under the designation <i>The Misses ....................</i>, -and similarly more than one son, <i>The -Messrs. ....................</i>. Otherwise, a daughter -receives an individual invitation, as -does also a son.</p> - -<p>In cities, on the occasion of church weddings -where strangers often intrude, it is -common to inclose with the invitation a -small card inscribed:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Please present this card at<br /> -<br /> -the Church of the Incarnation<br /> -<br /> -on Tuesday, June the first</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>A standard form for the wording of the -invitation is as follows:</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_143" id="Page_143">[143]</a></span></p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson<br /> -<br /> -request the honor of your presence<br /> -<br /> -at the marriage of their daughter<br /> -<br /> -Harriet<br /> -<br /> -to<br /> -<br /> -Mr. James Meade Trowbridge<br /> -<br /> -on Tuesday afternoon, June the first<br /> -<br /> -at half-past three o’clock<br /> -<br /> -The Church of the Incarnation<br /> -<br /> -Baltimore</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>The invitations are issued in the names -of the bride’s parents, or, lacking them, -in the name of her nearest relative, unless -this should be an unmarried sister. When -the invitations are issued by a brother, -his name only may be used, even though -he is married. But where the relation is a -married woman, the name of the husband -also appears on the invitations. Such invitations -issued by some one other than the -parents follow the form given above exactly, -save that the full name of the bride must -be given instead of her Christian name<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_144" id="Page_144">[144]</a></span> -alone, and, of course, the proper relationship -must be indicated by a word substituted -for <i>daughter</i>.</p> - -<p>It is usual, when the bride is a step-daughter, -to specify the relationship in -the invitation. Thus, in the form given -above, if Harriet were the daughter of Mrs. -Hudson by a previous marriage, the phrase -would run, <i>at the marriage of Mrs. Hudson’s -daughter, Harriet Blake Rothwell</i>. If she -were the daughter of Mr. Hudson, the -phrase would be, <i>at the marriage of Mr. -Hudson’s daughter, Harriet</i>.</p> - -<p>The invitations to either a wedding-breakfast -or reception is inclosed with the -invitation to the ceremony, but the engraved -card is of the ordinary size.</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson<br /> -<br /> -request the pleasure of<br /> -<br /> -..........................<br /> -<br /> -company<br /> -<br /> -on Tuesday, June first<br /> -<br /> -at half-past twelve o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Thirty-six Fremont Avenue</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_145" id="Page_145">[145]</a></span></p> - -<p>But often the name is omitted, and the -invitation may read simply:</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Reception<br /> -<br /> -From four o’clock<br /> -<br /> -Thirty-six Fremont Avenue</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>The initials <i>R.s.v.p.</i> may be used in the -lower left-hand corner of either form.</p> - -<p>The only essential difference in the form -of the invitation to a home-wedding is that -instead of asking for the <i>honor of your -presence</i>, the request is for the <i>pleasure of -your company</i>. Of course, the home-address -must be given at the end, instead of the -name of the church. When the ceremony -is to be performed in the presence of only -a limited number of friends, those who are -to witness it receive with their invitation -a small engraved card, inscribed <i>Ceremony -at three o’clock</i>, or whatever the hour may -be.</p> - -<p>Announcement-cards, following the celebration -of a quiet wedding, are sent out -on the day of the marriage. The paper -used is the same as that for the invitations.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_146" id="Page_146">[146]</a></span></p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. and Mrs. Henry L. Hudson<br /> -<br /> -have the honor of announcing<br /> -<br /> -the marriage of their daughter<br /> -<br /> -Harriet<br /> -<br /> -to<br /> -<br /> -Mr. James Meade Trowbridge<br /> -<br /> -on Tuesday, June the first<br /> -<br /> -at the Church of The Incarnation</i><br /> -</p> - -<p>A combination-card of bride and groom, -with their address, and perhaps her at-home -day, may be inclosed with the announcement.</p> - -<p>If, for any reason, the announcement-cards -are not issued by the bride’s relatives, -they may be sent out by the engaged pair, -using the bride’s maiden name</p> - -<p class="center"> -<i>Mr. George Hart Bagot<br /> -<br /> -and<br /> -<br /> -Miss Mary Elizabeth Peck<br /> -<br /> -have the honor of announcing their marriage<br /> -<br /> -on Monday, June the seventh<br /> -<br /> -at the Church of The Incarnation<br /> -<br /> -Albany</i><br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_147" id="Page_147">[147]</a></span></p> - -<p>Unless the invitation to a wedding carries -the letters <i>R.s.v.p.</i>, it does not require -any reply, but an invitation to the reception -or breakfast should be acknowledged -by two visiting-cards, sent to the bride’s -parents, when attendance is not possible -or convenient. An acceptance or declination -is written in the third person, and follows -the corresponding form in reference -to a dinner-invitation, with the necessary -verbal change, substituting, <i>wedding-reception -of their daughter</i>, for <i>dinner</i>.</p> - -<p>No acknowledgment is required for announcement-cards; -but it is well to call -on, or leave cards for, the bride’s parents.</p> - -<p>It is impossible to state exactly all the -details in connection with the marriage-ceremony, -since the variations in personal -taste and circumstances are such that the -wedding may be fittingly celebrated in -almost regal state, with a dozen bridesmaids -and everything else with like profusion, -or the rite may be carried out with -a plainness and simplicity that yet perhaps<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_148" id="Page_148">[148]</a></span> -yields a significance more touching -than that of the gorgeous spectacle. Each -circle in every community has its own -accepted traditions, and it is always better -that these should be followed. The vagaries -of fashion may often tempt its votaries -to extravagances in following the -fads and fancies of the moment. But there -should be no frivolous tampering with the -marriage rite, which is proclaimed as a -sacrament by the church, and should be -always esteemed as the most sacred act -in the lives of those who thus make their -covenants together.</p> - -<p>It need only be added that for an evening -wedding the bridegroom wears the regulation -evening clothes, while for an hour -earlier in the day his costume includes a -frock-coat of black or dark blue, a black -or white waistcoat, and striped trousers of -a lighter shade than the coat. The scarf -should be a white ascot, caught with a -pearl pin.</p> - -<p>He wears patent-leather shoes and gray<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_149" id="Page_149">[149]</a></span> -suède gloves. A silk hat forms the headgear -to accompany either the evening -dress or the other.</p> - -<p>A maiden bride should wear white and -a veil of tulle with orange blossoms. The -gown may be decolleté and sleeveless for -an evening wedding. A woman who has -been married before may wear any color -pleasing to her, but not white, and she -must not veil herself, nor display the -orange blossoms. A train properly distinguishes -the wedding-gown.</p> - -<p>On receipt of an invitation to a wedding, -any gift should be sent to the bride without -delay. There is no obligation on the part -of a merely formal acquaintance to send -a gift when invited to a church wedding, -but it is permissible. Such an obligation -exists for one invited to the breakfast or -reception, as well as one to be among a -limited number present at the actual marriage -on the occasion of a home wedding. -Sometimes, those invited to a church wedding -compromise by sending flowers.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_150" id="Page_150">[150]</a></span></p> - -<p>The distinction between the maiden and -the matron is again emphasized in the -matter of the bouquet carried by the -bride, which for the maiden should be of -white flowers, such as lilies of the valley, -while for the woman it must be at least -touched with color—perhaps of orchids.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"></div> - -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_151" id="Page_151">[151]</a></span></p> - - - -<div class="bbox"> -<div class="figcenter" style="width: 202px;"> -<img src="images/i_151.jpg" width="202" height="187" alt="Emblem: Made Easy Sesries" /> -</div> - - -<p class="drop-cap">THERE is no royal road to learning.</p> - -<p class="drop-cap">IT is an old saying, and a true one, in a sense: -for prince and peasant must alike travel -the path.</p> - -<p class="drop-cap">YET, there are many paths, and great differences -among them, as they lead to the -temple of knowledge. In some, the going is easy: -in some, hard. In some, the journeying is -pleasant and profitable: in some, toilsome—a -weary scramble over many stumbling blocks.</p> - -<p class="drop-cap">THE builder of the road is the teacher. It -is his task to smooth the way, and to -make it straight: or to leave it all cluttered, -a twisted, haphazard course, that runs roughly -and reaches nowhere.</p> - -<p class="drop-cap">IN the “Made Easy” Series, it has been the -publisher’s purpose to provide for the -student the best possible road to learning—a -road truly royal in its simplicity, its worth: -a road wide and direct, and free from foolish, -needless litter.<span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_152" id="Page_152">[152]</a></span></p> - -<p class="drop-cap">THE various writers of the books in the -series have been chosen for their special -fitness. Such fitness includes, in the first -place, mastery of the particular subject: in -the second place, ability to interpret knowledge -to others.</p> - -<p class="drop-cap">RIGHT teaching makes easy learning. Few -subjects are really hard to learn, when -properly set before the pupil. These volumes -are the product of a painstaking care to simplify -every detail of instruction, yet to make it complete. -The result for the student is, indeed, -a learning made easy, yet none the less exact, -thorough, wholly adequate for his needs.</p> - - - -<p><i>The volumes now ready, or in the course of -preparation</i>—price $1.00 each—are:</p> - - -<ul class="booklist"><li>Arithmetic Made Easy</li> -<li>Spelling Made Easy</li> -<li>Penmanship Made Easy</li> -<li>Grammar Made Easy</li> -<li>Drawing Made Easy</li> -<li>Dressmaking Made Easy</li> -<li>Dancing Made Easy</li> -<li>Etiquette Made Easy</li> -<li>Keeping Young Made Easy</li> -<li>Love Letters Made Easy</li> -<li>Shorthand Made Easy</li> -<li>Bookkeeping Made Easy</li> -<li>Entertaining Made Easy</li> -<li>Tricks and Magic Made Easy</li> -<li>Mental Healing Made Easy</li></ul> - - - -<p class="center"> -<i>Further titles will be added as opportunity presents itself to secure -the proper type of manuscript.</i></p></div> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's Etiquette Made Easy, by Edward Summers Squier - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ETIQUETTE MADE EASY *** - -***** This file should be named 51887-h.htm or 51887-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/8/8/51887/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Emmy and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org - - - -Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - - - -</pre> - -</body> -</html> diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/cover.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index bbb3bc0..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/cover.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-a.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-a.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 7b71be6..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-a.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-a2.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-a2.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index fc30378..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-a2.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-a3.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-a3.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 1562b8c..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-a3.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-d.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-d.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 88cab6c..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-d.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-f.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-f.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index b536b54..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-f.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-f2.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-f2.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 92d7155..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-f2.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-g.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-g.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index b4fdcfb..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-g.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-i.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-i.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 6187c56..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-i.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-i2.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-i2.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index d90d59d..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-i2.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-p.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-p.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index dfc3ace..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-p.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-s.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-s.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 9c78fc5..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-s.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-t.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 50e4bbd..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t2.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-t2.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 2fb90d3..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t2.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t3.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-t3.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 2960bbe..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t3.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t4.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-t4.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 0db6a2a..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t4.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t5.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-t5.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index a07f1aa..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-t5.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-v.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-v.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 852965a..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-v.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-w.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-w.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 58e0c84..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-w.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-w2.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-w2.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 653b690..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-w2.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/drop-w3.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/drop-w3.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 74981c1..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/drop-w3.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51887-h/images/i_151.jpg b/old/51887-h/images/i_151.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 7208f38..0000000 --- a/old/51887-h/images/i_151.jpg +++ /dev/null |
