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diff --git a/old/51754-0.txt b/old/51754-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index a5def98..0000000 --- a/old/51754-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,15748 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Road to En-Dor, by Elias Henry Jones, -Illustrated by Cedric Waters Hill - - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - - -Title: The Road to En-Dor - Being an Account of How Two Prisoners of War at Yozgad in Turkey Won Their Way to Freedom - - -Author: Elias Henry Jones - - - -Release Date: April 13, 2016 [eBook #51754] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - - -***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROAD TO EN-DOR*** - - -E-text prepared by KD Weeks, MWS, and the Online Distributed Proofreading -Team (http://www.pgdp.net) from page images generously made available by -Internet Archive/American Libraries (https://archive.org/details/americana) - - - -Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this - file which includes the original illustrations. - See 51754-h.htm or 51754-h.zip: - (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/51754/51754-h/51754-h.htm) - or - (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/51754/51754-h.zip) - - - Images of the original pages are available through - Internet Archive/American Libraries. See - https://archive.org/details/roadtoendorbeing00joneiala - - -Transcriber’s note: - - Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). - - A carat character is used to denote superscription. A - single character following the carat is superscripted - (example: 1^o). - - Footnotes have been resequenced to be unique across the - book, and have been gathered at the end of each chapter. - - The full-page illustrations have been moved to avoid - falling within a paragraph. The captions will appear - here as [Illustration: caption]. - - Please see the transcriber’s note at the end of this text - for details about corrections to the text. - - - - - -THE ROAD TO EN-DOR - - -[Illustration: - - “HILL HAD TAKEN THE FIRST PHOTOGRAPH BEFORE I WAS READY.” THE - COMMANDANT, PIMPLE AND COOK AT THE FINDING OF THE FIRST CLUE TO THE - TREASURE] - - - - - -THE ROAD TO EN-DOR - -Being an Account of How Two Prisoners of War at Yozgad -in Turkey Won Their Way to Freedom - -by - -E. H. JONES, LT. I.A.R.O. - -With Illustrations by C. W. HILL, LT. R.A.F. - - - “Oh the road to En-dor is the oldest road - And the craziest road of all! - Straight it runs to the Witch’s abode, - As it did in the days of Saul, - And nothing is changed of the sorrow in store - For such as go down on the road to En-dor!” - —RUDYARD KIPLING. - - - - - - - -London: John Lane The Bodley Head. W. -New York: John Lane Company. MCMXX. - -Third Edition. - -Printed by the Anchor Press Ltd., Tiptree, Essex, England - - - - - TO - W.R. O’FARRELL, - AN IRISH GENTLEMAN, - WHO, HIMSELF INJURED, TENDED THE WOUNDED - ON THE DESERT JOURNEY FROM SINAI INTO CAPTIVITY, - GOING ON FOOT THAT THEY MIGHT RIDE, - WITHOUT WATER THAT THEY MIGHT DRINK, - WITHOUT REST THAT THEIR WOUNDS MIGHT BE EASED; - AND AFTERWARDS, - WITH A COURAGE THAT NEVER FALTERED - THROUGH NEARLY THREE YEARS OF BONDAGE, - CHEERED US IN HEALTH, - NURSED US IN SICKNESS, - AND EVER FOUND HIS CHIEF HAPPINESS - IN SETTING THE COMFORT OF A COMRADE - BEFORE HIS OWN. - - - - - PREFACE - -“The only good that I can see in the demonstration of the truth of -‘spiritualism’ is to furnish an additional argument against suicide. -Better live a crossing-sweeper than die and be made to talk twaddle by a -‘medium’ hired at a guinea a séance.”—T.H. HUXLEY. - - -Professor Huxley was never a prisoner of war in Turkey; otherwise he -would have known that “spiritualism,” provided its truth be taken as -demonstrated, has endless other uses—even for honest men. Lieutenant -Hill and I found several of these uses. Spiritualism enabled us to kill -much empty and weary time. It gave “True Believers” satisfactory -messages, not only from the world beyond, but also from the various -battle-fronts—which was much more interesting. It enabled us to obtain -from the Turks comforts for ourselves and privileges for our brother -officers. It extended our house room, secured a Hunt Club for our -friends, and changed the mind of the Commandant from silent and -uncompromising hostility to a post-prandial friendliness ablaze with the -eloquence of the Spook. Our Spook in Yozgad instituted a correspondence -with the Turkish War Office in Constantinople. (Hill and I flatter -ourselves that no other Spirit has dictated letters and telegrams to and -obtained replies from a Government Department in any country.) It even -altered the moral outlook of the camp Interpreter, a typical Ottoman -Jew. It induced him to return stolen property to the owner, and -converted him to temporary honesty, if not to a New Religion (whether or -not the same as the “New Revelation” of which Sir A. Conan Doyle is the -chief British exponent we do not quite know). Finally, what concerned us -more, it helped us to freedom. - -There is a good deal about spiritualism in this book because the method -adopted by us to regain our liberty happened to be that of spiritualism. -But the activities of our Spook are after all only incidental to the -main theme. The book is simply an account of how Lieutenant Hill and I -got back to England. The events described took place between February -1917 and October 1918. The incidents may seem strange or even -preposterous to the reader, but I venture to remind him that they are -known to many of our fellow prisoners of war whose names are given in -the text, and at whose friendly instigation this book has been -written.[1] - -One thing more I must add. I began my experiments in spiritualism with a -perfectly open mind, but from the time when the possibility of escape by -these means first occurred to me I felt little concern as to whether -communication with the dead was possible or not. The object of -Lieutenant Hill and myself was to make it _appear_ possible and to avoid -being found out. In doing so we had many opportunities of seeing the -deplorable effects of belief in spiritualism. When in the atmosphere of -the séance, men whose judgment one respects and whose mental powers one -admires lose hold of the criteria of sane conclusions and construct for -themselves a fantastic world on their new hypothesis. The messages we -received from “the world beyond” and from “other minds in this sphere” -were in every case, and from beginning to end, of our own invention. Yet -the effect both on our friends and on the Turks was to lead them, as -earnest investigators, to the same conclusions as Sir Oliver Lodge has -reached, and the arrival of his book _Raymond_ in the camp in 1918 only -served to confirm them in their views. We do not know if such a thing as -a “genuine” medium exists. We do know that, in the face of the most -elaborate and persistent efforts to detect fraud, it is possible to -convert intelligent, scientific, and otherwise highly educated men to -spiritualism, by means of the arts and methods employed by “mediums” in -general. - -When we reached England Lieutenant Hill and I thought our dealings with -spiritualism had served their purpose, but we now hope they may play an -even better part. If this book saves one widow from lightly trusting the -exponents of a creed that is crass and vulgar and in truth nothing -better than a confused materialism, or one bereaved mother from -preferring the unwholesome excitement of the séance and the trivial -babble of a hired trickster to the healing power of moral and religious -reflexion on the truths that give to human life its stability and -worth—then the miseries and sufferings through which we passed in our -struggle for freedom will indeed have had a most ample reward. - - E.H. JONES. - - - - - CONTENTS - - - CHAPTER PAGE - - PREFACE vii - - LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS xiii - - I. HOW SPOOKING BEGAN IN YOZGAD 1 - - II. HOW THE CAMP TURNED SPIRITUALIST 9 - - III. HOW THE MEDIUMS WERE TESTED 19 - - IV. OF THE EPISODE OF LOUISE, AND HOW IT WAS - ALL DONE 35 - - V. IN WHICH THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THE - PIMPLE 46 - - VI. IN WHICH THE COOK APPEARS AND THE SPOOK - FINDS A REVOLVER 54 - - VII. OF THE CALOMEL MANIFESTATION AND HOW - KIAZIM FELL INTO THE NET 68 - - VIII. IN WHICH WE BECOME THOUGHT-READERS 82 - - IX. HOW THE SPOOK WROTE A MAGIC LETTER AND - ARRANGED OUR ARREST 87 - - X. HOW WE WERE TRIED AND CONVICTED FOR - TELEPATHY 99 - - XI. IN WHICH WE ARE PUT ON PAROLE BY OUR - COLONEL, AND GO TO PRISON 109 - - XII. OF THE COMRADES WE HAD LEFT BEHIND AND - HOW POSH CASTLE PLAYED THE RAVEN 121 - - XIII. IN WHICH THE PIMPLE LEARNS HIS FUTURE LIES - IN EGYPT 132 - - XIV. WHICH INTRODUCES OOO AND TELLS WHY THE - PIMPLE GOT HIS FACE SMACKED 144 - - XV. IN WHICH THE SPOOK PUTS OUR COLONEL ON - PAROLE IN HIS TURN, SAVES THE HUNT CLUB, - AND WRITES A SPEECH 155 - - XVI. HOW WE FELL INTO A TRANCE AND SAW THE - FUTURE 165 - - XVII. HOW THE SPOOK TOOK US TREASURE-HUNTING - AND WE PHOTOGRAPHED THE TURKISH COMMANDANT 173 - - XVIII. OF A “DREADFUL EXPLOSION” AND HOW OOO - SOUGHT TO MURDER US 185 - - XIX. OF THE FOUR POINT RECEIVER AND HOW WE - PLANNED TO KIDNAP THE TURKISH STAFF AT - YOZGAD 199 - - XX. IN WHICH WE ARE FOILED BY A FRIEND 215 - - XXI. IN WHICH WE DECIDE TO BECOME MAD AND THE - SPOOK GETS US CERTIFICATES OF LUNACY 222 - - XXII. HOW THE SPOOK CORRESPONDED WITH THE - TURKISH WAR OFFICE AND GOT A REPLY 234 - - XXIII. IN WHICH THE SPOOK PERSUADES MOÏSE TO - VOLUNTEER FOR ACTIVE SERVICE 239 - - XXIV. OF OUR MAD JOURNEY TO MARDEEN 248 - - XXV. HOW WE HANGED OURSELVES 257 - - XXVI. IN WHICH THE SPOOK CONVICTS MOÏSE OF - THEFT, CONVERTS HIM TO HONESTY, AND - PROMISES OMNIPOTENCE 270 - - XXVII. OF THE FIRST DAY IN HAIDAR PASHA HOSPITAL - AND THE PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION BY - THE SPECIALISTS 285 - - XXVIII. OF THE WASSERMANN TESTS AND HOW WE - DECEIVED THE MEDICAL BOARD 297 - - XXIX. OF HILL’S TERRIBLE MONTH IN GUMUSH SUYU - HOSPITAL 309 - - XXX. IN WHICH WE ARE REPATRIATED AS LUNATICS 320 - - POSTSCRIPT: WHAT THE PIMPLE THINKS OF IT - ALL—THREE LETTERS 336 - - APPENDIX I 343 - - ” II 347 - - ” III 349 - - - - - LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS - - “Hill had taken the first photograph before I was - ready” (p. 180). The Commandant, Pimple, and - Cook at the finding of the first clue to the - treasure _Frontispiece_ - - TO FACE PAGE - - The Ouija 4 - - The lane where the prisoners exercised 48 - - “On fine days they snoozed at their posts”—a - gamekeeper on guard in Yozgad 68 - - “I made my plans to go on skis and began to train” 74 - - “The snow on the slope of South hill”—the site of - the first clue to the treasure 122 - - “We had four-a-side hockey tournaments” 124 - - The “Posh-Castle Mess” who fed us in our - imprisonment 130 - - In the Pine Woods—“Winnie” and Nightingale on skis 164 - - Where the second clue was buried—Bones’s Nullah 186 - - “The Melancholic.”—C.W. Hill 230 - - “The Furious.”—E.H. Jones 232 - - The mad machine for uprooting England 302 - - Autograph photograph of Mazhar Osman Bey and five - other Haidar Pasha doctors (presented to the - author by Talha Bey) 332 - -THE ROAD TO EN-DOR - - THE ROAD TO EN-DOR - - - - - CHAPTER I - - HOW SPOOKING BEGAN IN YOZGAD - - -On an afternoon late in February 1917 a Turk mounted on a weary horse -arrived in Yozgad. He had come a 120-mile journey through snowbound -mountain passes from railhead at Angora, and he carried a belated mail -for us prisoners of war. - -I could not feel grateful to him, for my share was only one postcard. It -was from a very dear aunt. But I knew that somewhere in the Turkish Post -Office were many more—from my wife, my mother, and my father. So I -grumbled at all things Ottoman. I did not know this innocent-looking -piece of cardboard was going to provide the whole camp with a subject -for discussion for a year to come, and eventually prove the open sesame -that got two of us out of Turkey. - -Mail Day at Yozgad meant visits. The proper thing to do, after giving -everybody time to read their letters several times over, was to go from -room to room and pick up such scraps of war news as had escaped the eye -of the censor. Some of us received cryptograms, or what we thought were -cryptograms, from which we could reconstruct the position on the various -fronts (if we had imagination enough), and guess at the progress of the -war. The news that somebody’s father’s trousers had come down was, I -remember, the occasion of a very merry evening, for it meant that Dad’s -Bags (or Baghdad) had fallen at last. If, as occasionally happened, we -found hidden meanings where none was intended, and captured Metz or -Jerusalem long before such a possibility was dreamt of in England, it -did more good than harm, for it kept our optimism alive. - -I allowed the proper period to elapse and then crossed to the Seaman’s -room. “Come in,” said Tudway to my enquiring head, “Mundey has been -round already and we can give you all the news.” (Mundey was our -Champion Cryptogrammist.) - -We discussed the various items of news in the usual way, and decided -that the war could not possibly last another three months. Then Alec -Matthews turned to me: - -“Had you any luck, Bones? What’s your mail?” - -“Only a postcard,” I said. “No news in it, but it suggests a means of -passing the evenings. I’m fed up with roulette and cards myself, and I’d -like to try it.” - -“What’s the suggestion?” Alec asked. - -“Spooking,” said I. - -“Cripes!” said Alec. - -We began next night, a serious little group of experimenters from -various corners of the earth. Each of us in his own little sphere had -seen something of the wonders of the world and was keen to learn more. -There was “Doc.” O’Farrell, the bacteriologist, who had fought -sleeping-sickness in Central Africa. He argued that the fact that we -could not see them was no proof that spooks did not exist, and told us -of things revealed by the microscope, things that undoubtedly “are -there,” with queer shapes and grisly names. (The pictures he drew of -some of his pet “bugs” gave me a new idea for my next nightmare.) Then -there was Little, the geologist from the Sudan, who knew all about the -earth and the construction thereof, and had dug up the fossilized -remains of weird and enormous animals. _His_ pets were as big as the -Doc.’s were small. There was Price, the submarine man from under the -sea, and Tudway (plain Navy) from on top of it. And there is a saying -about those who go down to the sea in ships which was never truer than -of these two men. There was Matthews, from India, sapper and scientist. -He knew all about wireless telegraphy and ether and the various lengths -of the various kinds of waves, and he did not see why “thought waves” -should not exist in some of the gaps in the series which we thought to -be empty. And there was the writer, who knew nothing of scientific -value. He had studied psychology at College, and human nature amongst -the jungle folk in Burma. - -Such was the group which first took up spooking. None of us knew -anything about the subject, but my postcard gave clear instructions and -we followed them. Matthews brought in the best table we possessed (a -masterpiece made by Colbeck out of an old packing-case), and Doc. -groomed the top of it with the corner of his embassy coat, so as to make -it slippery enough for the Spook to slide about on with comfort. - -Tudway and Price cut out squares of paper, and Little wrote a letter of -the alphabet on each and arranged them in a circle round the edge of the -table. I polished the tumbler in which we hoped to capture the Spook, -and placed it upside down in the centre of the circle. Everything was -ready. We had constructed our first “_Ouija_.” - -“Now what do we do?” Doc. asked. - -“Two of us put a finger lightly on the glass, close our eyes and make -our minds blank.” - -“Faith!” said the Doc., “we’d better get a couple of Red Tabs from the -Majors’ House; this looks like a Staff job. An’ what next?” - -“Then the glass should begin to move about and touch the letters. -Somebody must note down the ones touched.” - -Doc. sat down and put his forefinger gingerly on the glass. I took the -place opposite him. Price and Matthews, pencil in hand, leant forward -ready to take notes. Little and Tudway and Dorling and Boyes stood round -to watch developments. Doc. and I closed our eyes and waited, fingers -resting lightly on the glass, arms extended. For perhaps fifteen minutes -there was a tense silence and our arms grew unendurably numb. Nothing -happened. - -Our places at the table were taken by two other investigators, and -their’s in turn by two more, but always with a total absence of any -result. We warmed the glass over a tallow candle—somebody had said it -was a good thing to do—and re-polished the table. Then Doc. and I tried -again. - -“Ask it some question,” Price whispered. - -“WHO—ARE—YOU?” said the Doc. in sepulchral tones, and forthwith I was -conscious of a tilting and a straining in the glass, and then, very -slowly, it began to move in gradually widening circles. It touched a -letter, and the whole company craned their necks to see it. - -“B!” they whispered in chorus. - -It touched another. “R!” said everybody. - -“I believe it is going to write ‘Brown,’” said Dorling, and the movement -suddenly stopped. - -“There ye go spoilin’ everything with yer talkin’,” growled the Doc., -his Irish accent coming out under the influence of excitement. “Will ye -hold your tongues now, and we’ll be after tryin’ again!” - -We tried again—we tried for several nights—but it was no use. The glass -did not budge, or, if it did, it travelled in small circles and did not -approach the letters. We blamed our tools for our poor mediumship and -substituted a large enamelled tray for the table, which had a crack down -the centre where the glass used to stick. The tray was an improvement -and we began to reach the letters. But we never got sense. The usual -séance was something like this: - -Doc.: “Who are you?” Answer: “DFPBJQ.” - -Doc.: “Try again. Who are you?” Answer: “DFPMGJQ.” - -Matthews.: “It’s obviously trying to say something—the same letters -nearly, each time. Try again.” - -Doc.: “Who are you?” Answer: “THRSWV.” - -Matthews: “That’s put the lid on. Ask something else.” - -Doc.: “Have you anything to say?” Answer: “WNSRYKXCBJ,” and so on, and -so on, page after page of meaningless letters. It grew monotonous even -for prisoners of war, and in time the less enthusiastic investigators -dropped out. At the end of a fortnight only Price, Matthews, Doc. -O’Farrell and myself were left. We were intrigued by the fact that the -glass should move at all without our consciously pushing it—I shall -never forget Alec Matthews’s cry of wonder the first time he felt the -“life” in the glass—and we persevered. - -[Illustration: THE OUIJA] - -Then our friend Gatherer came in. He said he didn’t care very much for -this sort of thing, but he knew how to do it and would show us. He -placed his fingers on the glass and addressed the Spook. We, as became -novices, had always shown a certain respect in our manner of questioning -the Unknown. Gatherer spoke as if he were addressing a defaulter, or a -company on parade, with a ring in his voice which indicated he would -stand no nonsense. And forthwith the glass began to talk sense. Its -answers were short—usually no more than a “yes” or a “no”—but they were -certainly understandable. Once more we were all intensely interested. -Gatherer did more than add fuel to the waning fire of our enthusiasm. He -presented us with his own spook-board, which he and another officer had -made some months before, and used in secret. It was a piece of sheet -iron on which the glass moved much more smoothly than on the tray or the -table, and he suggested pasting down the letters in such a way that they -could not be knocked off by the movement of the glass. Later on Matthews -still further improved it by adding a raised “scantling” round the edge -which prevented the glass from leaving the circle. - -Gatherer was in great request, for without him we could get nothing, try -we never so hard. But he would not come—he “disliked it”—he “had other -things to do,” he “might come tomorrow,” and so on. Ah, Gatherer, you -have much to answer for! Had you never shown us that intelligible -replies could be obtained, I might have remained an honest little -enquirer, happy in the mere moving of the glass. But now, mere movement -was no longer satisfying. We were tired of our own company, and knew one -another as only fellow-prisoners can. We wanted a chat with somebody -“outside,” somebody with ideas culled beyond our prison walls, whose -mind was not an open book to us, whose thoughts were not limited to the -probable date of the end of the war or of the arrival of the next mail -from home. It did not matter who it was—Julius Cæsar or Socrates, -Christopher Columbus or Aspasia (it is true we rather hoped for Aspasia, -especially the Doc.), but any old Tom, or Dick, or Harry would have been -welcome. You ought to have known that, Gatherer, for you were a -prisoner, too; but you were callous, and left us alone to record our -meaningless X’s, and Y’s and Z’s. - -After another week of failure we grew desperate. “If we get nothing -to-night,” said Matthews, “we’ll chuck it.” - -We tried hard, and got nothing. - -“One more shot, Bones,” said the Doc., sitting down opposite me. - -I glanced at him, and from him to Price and Matthews. Disappointment was -written on every face. Success had seemed so near, and we had laboured -so hard. Was this to end as so many of our efforts at amusement had -ended, in utter boredom? - -The doctor began pulling up the sleeves of his coat as though he were -leading a forlorn hope. - -“Right you are, Doc.” I put my fingers on the glass. “One more shot,” -and as I said it the Devil of Mischief that is in every Celt whispered -to me that the little man must not go empty away. We closed our eyes. - -“For the last time,” said the Doc. “WHO—ARE—YOU?” - -The glass began to move across the board. - -“S-,” Matthews read aloud, “A-L-L-Y—SALLY!” - -“Sally,” Price repeated, in a whisper. - -“Sally,” I echoed again. - -The Doc. wriggled forward in his chair, tugging up his coat-sleeves. -“Keep at it,” he whispered excitedly. “Keep at it, we’ve got one at -last.” And then in a loud voice that had a slight quaver in it— - -“GOOD EVENING, SALLY! HAVE YE ANYTHIN’ TO TELL US?” - -Sally had quite a lot to tell us. She made love to Alec Matthews (much -to his delight) in the most barefaced way, and then coolly informed him -that she preferred sailor-boys. Price beamed, and replied in fitting -terms. She talked seriously to the Doc. (who had murmured—out of -jealousy, I expect—that Sally seemed a brazen hussy), and warned us to -be careful what we said in the presence of a lady. (That “presence of a -lady” startled us—most of us hadn’t seen a lady for nearly three years.) -She accused me of being unbecomingly dressed. (Pyjamas and a -blanket—quite respectable for a prisoner.) Then she complained of -“feeling tired,” made one or two most unladylike remarks when we pressed -her to tell us more, and “went away.” - -I had fully intended to tell them that I had steered the glass, with my -eyes shut, from my memory of the position of the letters. But the talk -became too good to interrupt. There were theories as to who Sally could -be. Was she dead, or alive, or non-existent? Was the glass guided by a -spook or by subconscious efforts? Then round again on to the old -argument of why the glass moved at all. Was it the unconscious exercise -of muscular force by one or both of the mediums or was it some external -power? I lay back and listened to the sapper and the submarine man and -the scientist from Central Africa. Others dropped in and added their -voices and extracts from their experience to the discussion. Dorling had -schoolboy reminiscences of a thought-reading entertainment, which was -somehow allied to the subject in hand. Winnie Smith knew someone—I think -it was one of his second cousins in Russia, or a crowned head, or -somebody of the kind—who had a pet spook in the house. I told my story -of the dak bungalow in Myinmu Township in Burma, where there is a black -ghost-dog, who does not mind revolver bullets. We talked, and we talked, -and we talked, forgetting the war and the sentries outside and all the -monotony of imprisonment. And always the talk rounded back to Sally and -the spook-glass that moved no one knew how. The others slipped away to -bed, and we were left alone. Alec, Price, the Doc., and myself. I braced -myself to confess the fraud, but Doc. raised his tin mug: - -“Here’s to Sally and success, and many more happy evenings,” said he. - -_Facilis descensus Averni!_ I lifted my mug with the rest, and drank in -silence. Little I guessed how much water was to flow under the bridges -before I could make my confession, or under what strange conditions that -confession was to be made. - - * * * * * - -Next day I woke—a worm. I felt as if I had caught myself taking sweeties -from a child. They had all accepted the wonder of the previous night so -uncritically. It was a shame. It was unforgivable! I would get out of -bed. I would go across and tell them at once. - -“Don’t,” said the Devil of Mischief. “Stay where you are. It was only a -rag. If you really want to tell them, any old time will do. Besides, -it’s beastly cold this morning, and you’ve got a headache. Stay in bed!” - -“But it wasn’t a rag. We were experimenting in earnest,” said I. “That’s -why it was so mean.” I got one foot out of bed. - -“Stay where you are, I tell you,” said the Devil. “You gave them a jolly -good evening, and you can have plenty more.” - -I pulled my foot back under the blankets again. Yes, we had had a jolly -evening—the Doc. himself had said so. I would think it over a little -longer. - -I thought it over—and started up again. - -“You ass!” said the Devil. “They’ll only laugh at you! The whole thing’s -a fraud, anyway. Let them find out for themselves. Oliver Lodge, Conan -Doyle, and the rest of the precious crew are victims in the same way.” - -“I won’t,” said I. “I’m going to tell them.” I got up and dressed -slowly. - -“See here,” said the Devil. “What you gave them last night was something -new to talk about. Carry on! It does them good. It sets them thinking. -Carry on!” - -“And what sort of a swine will I look when they find me out?” said I. - -“But they won’t,” said the Devil. - -“But they will—they must,” said I, and opened the door. - -On the landing outside was our “Wardie,” once of America, doing Müller’s -exercises to get the stiffness out of his wounded shoulder. That was a -Holy Rite, which nothing was allowed to interrupt. But to-day he stopped -and faced me. I think my Devil must have entered into him. - -“Hello, Bones, you sly dog!” said he.[2] - -“What’s up, Wardie?” - -“Oh, you don’t get _me_ with your larks,” he said, grinning at me. “I -know you, you old leg-puller!” - -I made to pass on. - -“You and your Sally,” he chuckled. - -“Oh, _that_!” I said, and tried again to pass. - -“Come on, Bones,” he continued; “how d’you do it?” - -“Why, that’s spooking, Wardie,” said I. - -“Oh, get on with you! You don’t catch me! I’m too old a bird, Sonny. -How’s it done?” - -“You’ve seen! You sit with your fingers on a glass, and the glass moves -about.” - -“Yes, yes, it moves all right. But this Sally business? These answers?” - -“That’s what everybody’s trying to find out, Wardie.” - -“I’ll find out one of these fine days, Bones me boy!” He dug his thumb -into my ribs and laughed at me. - -“Right-o, Wardie,” said I, and went back into my room. My dander was up. - - - - - CHAPTER II - - HOW THE CAMP TURNED SPIRITUALIST - - -I made up my mind to rag for an evening or two more and to face the -music, when it came, in the proper spirit. There was a recognized form -of punishment at Yozgad for a “rag.” It was a “posh.”[3] In my case, -with Doc., Matthews, Price, and of course the Seaman (who always joined -in on principle) as my torturers, I expected it would be a super-posh, -and trembled accordin’. I had no doubt in my own mind that discovery -would come very soon. - -When evening came round, there were Alec, Doc., and Price waiting round -the spook-board with their tongues out, wanting more “Sally.” I sat down -with the unholy joy of the small boy preparing a snowball in ambush for -some huge and superior person of uncertain temper, and with not a little -of his fear of being found out before the snowball gets home on the -target. - -“Now, Doc.,” said I, trying to avert suspicion from myself, “don’t you -get larking. I’m beginning to suspect you.” - -“And I’m suspecting you,” he laughed. “Come on, ye old blackguard!” - -We started, and for several minutes got nothing but a series of -unintelligible letters. The reason for this was simple enough. The -“medium’s” mind was blank. I hadn’t the foggiest notion of what to say, -and could only push the glass about indiscriminately. Matthews and Price -faithfully noted down every letter touched. This kept everybody happy, -and as a matter of fact formed a useful precedent for future occasions. - -“It’s there all right,” said Alec. “Keep it up, you fellows. We’ll get -something soon.” - -Gatherer came in, and after watching for a minute gave an order to the -Spook in his parade voice: “Go round and look at your letters.” - -The indiscriminate zig-zagging stopped and the glass went round the -circle slowly. - -“Gee! Snakes!” said Alec. “That’s the stuff, Gatherer; give It some -more!” - -“No sense in being afraid of the blighter,” said Gatherer. “Here! Stop -going round now! Tell us who you are!” - -“Go—to—hell!” came the answer. - -Gatherer was not abashed. “Is that where you are?” he asked, and the -Spook began to swear most horribly. My mind was no longer blank; it -teemed with memories of my court in Burma, and the glass said to -Gatherer what the old bazaar women of the East say to one another before -they get “run in.” - -“All right, old chap,” said Gatherer. “That’s enough. I’m sorry. I -apologise.” - -“Go away,” said the Spook, and until Gatherer obeyed the glass would do -nothing but repeat, “Go away,” “Go away,” to every question that was -asked. - -Looking back, I can see this was an important episode. Of course the -glass wrote “go away” because I could think of nothing better to say at -the moment (practice was to make my imagination much more fertile), and -it kept on repeating the request because I had begun to wonder if I -really could make Gatherer leave the room. - -“Shall I go?” Gatherer asked. - -“Faith! You’d better,” said the Doc., “or who knows what It will be -saying next?” - -Gatherer went, and the Spook began to write again. It might well do so, -for It had begun to establish its “Authority.” - -Now, for successful spooking, “Authority” is all-important. The -utterances of a medium “under control” must be, and are for the -believer, the object of an unquestioning reverence. - -I have two small mites of children. They usually demand a “story” of an -evening. Since my return they have gradually established a precedent, -and it has become a condition for their going to bed. I take them on my -knees, their silky hair against my cheeks, and look into the fire for -inspiration about “elephants” or “tigers” or “princesses,” or whatever -may be the subject of immediate interest and then I begin. I don’t go -very far without a question, and when that is successfully negotiated -there are two more questions on the ends of their restless tongues. The -linked answers comprise the story. Nobody makes any bones about the -credibility of it, because “father tells it.” Thousands of other fathers -are doing the same every day. Parents yet to be will continue the good -work for the generations unborn. - -What the parent is for the child, the medium is for “believers.” The -gentle art, as Hill (my ultimate partner in the game) and I know it, is -merely a matter of shifting the authorship of the answers from yourself -to some Unknown Third, whose authority has become as unquestionable to -the “sitter” as the father’s is to the child. Once that is achieved the -problem in each case is precisely the same. It consists in answering -questions in a manner satisfactory to the audience. I also find there is -no fundamental difference in the material required for the “links.” -Granted the “authority,” the same sort of stuff pleases them all alike, -children and grown-up “sitters.” If you have ever watched a true -believer at a sitting you will know exactly what I mean; and if you can -describe the palace of an imaginary princess, you can also describe the -sixth, or seventh, or the eighth “sphere.” But of course you must always -be careful to call it a “palace” in the one instance, and a “sphere” in -the other. - -I did not realize this all at once. I did not set out with any scheme of -building up the Spook’s authority. I laid out for myself no definite -line of action against my friends. My policy, in fact, was that by which -our own British Empire has grown. I determined to do the job nearest to -hand as well as I could, and to tackle each problem as it arose. I would -“rag around a bit” and then withdraw as soon as circumstances permitted -me to do so gracefully. But circumstances never permitted. One thing led -to another, and my “commitments” in the spook-world grew steadily, as -those of our Empire have done in this. - -Nor, needless to say, did I see at this time the faintest resemblance -between Alec calling for “Sally” and my small boy demanding a “story” at -my knee. To me, Alec and Doc. and Price (not to mention the rest of the -camp) were grown men, thewed and sinewed, with the varied store of -wisdom that grown men acquire in their wanderings up and down the wide -seas and the broad lands of this old Empire of ours. They were -“enquirers”—not “true believers” as yet—and as I was to find out in due -course, they were “no mugs” at enquiring. I could only hug myself at the -idea of the poshing I would get when the rag was discovered, and fight -my hardest to ward off the evil day. - -Soon after Gatherer left the room my career as a medium almost came to -an inglorious end. The trap into which I nearly fell was not consciously -set, so far as I am aware, for in those early days when everything was -fresh the interest of the audience was centred more in the substance of -the communications than in the manner in which they were produced. - -The situation arose in this way: being a medium was a tiring game. An -hour on end of pushing the glass about at arm’s length required -considerable muscular effort. Your arm became as heavy as lead; until we -got into training Doc. and I had to take frequent rests. This fatigue -was natural enough, and everybody knew of it, but nobody knew that -practically the whole of my body was subjected to a physical strain. At -this period of my mediumship I used to close my eyes quite honestly; I -was therefore obliged to remember the exact position of each letter, not -only in its relation to other letters but also to myself, so as to be -able to steer the glass to it. The slightest movement of the -spook-board, caused, for example, by my sleeve or the Doc.’s catching on -the edge of it, as sometimes happened, was sufficient to upset all my -calculations until I had had an opportunity of glancing at it again. I -used to try to guard against this by resting my left hand lightly on the -edge of the board. I could then feel any movement, and at the same time -my left hand formed a guide to my right, for, before closing my eyes, I -used to note what letter my little finger was resting on. I had two -other guides—my right and my left foot under the table gave me the -angles of two other known letters. If the reader will try and sit for an -hour, moving his right hand freely, but with both feet and the left hand -absolutely still, he will understand why indefinite sittings were -impossible. Add to this the concentration of mind necessary to remember -the letters, to invent suitable answers to questions, and to spell them -out. - -“I am fagged out,” I said wearily. “Don’t you feel the strain, Doc.?” - -“Only my arm.” He rubbed the numbness out of it. “Come on, Bones, let’s -get some more; this is interesting.” - -“I’m dead beat. I feel it all over me. It seems to take a lot out of -me.” - -The three looked at me curiously. They obviously regarded me as a medium -who had been under “control.” (_En passant_, I wonder if the -“exhaustion” of all mediums after a séance is not due to similar -causes?) - -“Right you are, Bones,” said Price, “I’ll take your place. You come and -note down.” - -I took his pencil and notebook, and he sat down to the board with the -Doc. The glass moved and touched letters, but they made, of course, -nothing intelligible. After a space, when I had rested, Doc. said his -arm was tired and suggested I should take his place. I did so. Price and -I were now at the glass. Somebody asked a question. I started to reply -in the usual way, but luckily realized in time what I was doing, and -instead of giving a coherent answer, allowed the glass to wander among -the X’s and Y’s at its own sweet will. It had flashed across my mind -that so long as I obtained answers only when the Doc. was my partner, no -“sceptic” could tell which of the two of us was controlling the glass. -If, on the other hand, I obtained answers in conjunction with others as -well as when with the Doc., while no other pair in combination could do -so, I was clearly indicated as the control, and a very simple process of -elimination would doom me to discovery. I therefore came to a hurried -decision that only when the Doc. was my partner should the Unknown be -allowed to speak, and it was not till long after the Spook had proved to -the satisfaction of our “enquirers” its own separate existence that I -permitted myself to break this resolution. - -So Price and I continued to bang out unintelligible answers until -everybody was tired of it. Matthews, who amongst other objectionable -pieces of knowledge had acquired something of Mathematics, then worked -out the Combinations and Permutations of four spookists, two together, -and insisted we should test them all. We did. The only result was pages -of Q’s and M’s, of X’s, Y’s and Z’s. Bones and the Doc. were the only -pair who got answers. - -At our after-séance talk, this led to a new discovery—new, that is, for -us. It was obvious that mediums must be _en rapport_! We attacked the -subject from all sides, and as usual others joined in our discussion. -When I went to bed, Matthews was demonstrating, with the aid of two -tallow candles on a deal box, something about wave-lengths, and positive -and negative electricity, and tuning up and down to the same pitch. I am -sure I don’t know what it was all about, but it clearly proved the -necessity of something being _en rapport_ with something else in the -material world. Therefore why not the same necessity for spiritual -things? So far as I remember, Alec, old man, your theory was quite -sound—it was your facts that were wrong! Perhaps I should have told you -so, and saved you much hard thinking: but put yourself in my -place—wasn’t it fun? - - * * * * * - -Thus we continued for several evenings. The camp looked on with mingled -amusement and interest. Our séances began to be a popular form of -evening entertainment. Quite a little crowd would gather round the -board, and ask questions of the Spook. For the most part, at this stage, -the audiences were sceptical—they suspected a trick somewhere, though -they could not imagine how it was done. Curiously enough, suspicion -centred not on me, but on the perfectly innocent Doctor. The poor man -was pestered continually to reveal the secret. He swore vehemently that -he had nothing to do with it, but it was pointed out to him that the -glass only wrote when he was there—a fact he could not deny. - -This sceptical attitude of the camp was of the utmost value to me. It -amounted to a challenge and spurred me to fresh efforts. The whole -affair being a rag, with no definite aim in view, it would not have been -fair play to the enquirers to have told an out-and-out lie. But I -considered it quite legitimate to dodge their questions if I could do so -successfully. The following is a type of the conversations that were -common at this period: - -“Look here, Bones, is this business between you and the Doc. straight?” - -“How do you mean, ‘straight’?” - -“This spooking business! Is it genuine?” - -“Jack,” I would say confidentially (or Dick, or Tom, as the case might -be), “I’ll tell you something. The whole thing is mysterious. I assure -you there is no arrangement whatsoever between the Doc. and myself. The -camp think we are in league for a leg-pull. But we’re not. We took this -business up as an enquiry—see, here’s the original postcard.” - -And I would produce the well-worn bit of cardboard which first suggested -the spooking, and gently disentangle Jack’s fingers from my buttonhole. - -Perhaps “Jack” would be satisfied and go away, or perhaps he would be a -persistent blighter and carry on. - -“But how is it done, Bones?” - -“You mean, what makes the glass move?” - -“Well—yes.” - -“My own theory—it may be wrong, of course, because I’ve never done much -at Psychical Research—my own theory is that the movement must be due to -muscular action on the part of the mediums. I believe Oliver Lodge and -those other Johnnies hold that the muscular action is subconscious, but -that is Tommy-rot. Anything is subconscious so long as you don’t think -of the process of thought, and nothing is subconscious so long as it is -known. Besides,” I would add, looking up into my questioner’s face as -innocently as I could, “as soon as the glass begins to move about I am -quite conscious of every movement. That’s straight. The Doc. will tell -you the same thing. I must admit that he has often pointed out to me -that one seems to be _following_ the glass about. He has been analysing -his own sensations from the medical point of view, and he is rather -interesting on this point. You should ask him about it.” - -“I will,” Jack would say, and off he would go to cross-examine the poor -old Doc. - -Probably Dick or Tom had been listening to our conversation, and would -now chip in with: - -“That’s all very well, Bones, but _I_ believe you’re playing the fool -all the time. Now aren’t you?” - -“Right-o, Dick! If you like to think I’m ass enough to sit there night -after night for the mere lark of the thing, you’re welcome.” - -“But the whole affair’s absurd, impossible,” Dick would protest. - -“You say so, but what about Oliver Lodge? He has studied this business -for years, and swears he gets into communication with the next world in -this way. And _he_ is a scientist, my boy, while _you_ are a plain -soldier man and don’t know your arm from your elbow in these matters. A -few years ago I expect you were saying that wireless telegraphy and -flying and all the rest of our modern scientific marvels were -impossible. You are the conservative type of fellow who doesn’t believe -a thing possible until he can do it himself. Why, you old idiot, for all -you know you may be a medium yourself. Why don’t you come along and try -some night?” - -And Dick would come, and try, and get nothing! - -I was often grateful in those days for my past experience as a -magistrate in Burma. My study of law and lawyers helped me considerably -in the gentle art of drawing a red herring across my questioners’ train -of thought. - -I was beginning to think that the business had gone on long enough, and -it was time to confess, when Fate stepped in again. Intrigued by our -success, several other groups of experimenters had been formed in the -camp, notably in the Hospital House. One fine morning we were -electrified by the news that there also “results” had been obtained. - -The Doc. came up to me as I was walking in the lane. He was all hunched -up with glee. - -“Faith,” he said to me, “the sceptics have got it in the neck. Here’s -Nightingale and Bishop been an’ held a long conversation with the spooks -last night.” - -“I don’t see that that will make much difference to the sceptics,” said -I. - -“But I do,” said the Doc. “The camp doesn’t believe in it now because -you’re you and I’m me. But who in Turkey or out of it can suspect -fellows like Bishop and Nightingale?—that’s what I want to know.” - -“And why not suspect Bishop and Nightingale?” I asked. - -“Ach! ye might as well suspect a babe unborn. Not one of the two of them -has the imagination of a louse. They’re plain, straightforward -Englishmen—not Celtic fringe like you an’ me—an’ the camp knows it.” - -“But don’t you suspect them yourself?” I asked. “You said the other day -that you suspected me, you know.” - -“So I did, but that’s different, as I say. These two are genuine -enough.” - -“No doubt,” said I, for I was quite open-minded about the possibilities -of “spooking.” “Whom were they talking to last night?” - -“Oh—just Sally, and Silas P. Warner, and that lot,” said the Doc. “Same -crowd of spooks as we get ourselves.” - -I glanced at him to see if he was joking. He wasn’t. Lord! Doc. dear, -how I longed to laugh! - - * * * * * - -Either Nightingale or Bishop (I did not know which at the time) was -fudging. I knew this for certain because they were using “spooks” of my -own creation. It puzzled me at the time to know why they should not have -invented spooks of their own. I learned long afterwards that mine were -adopted because it was thought that my show was possibly genuine. If so, -what could be more natural than that the spirits which haunted the Upper -House should also be found next door? - -The position was now rather funny. I knew, of course, that both “shows” -were frauds. The villain of the piece in the Hospital House knew his own -show was a fraud, but was not sure about mine. The majority of the camp, -on the other hand, were inclined to think there might be something in -the Hospital House exhibition, although they had viewed mine with -suspicion. But if they accepted the Hospital House, they had to accept -ours too, the spooks being the same. And, in the course of time, that -was what happened. - -The development in the Hospital House had another result. My little -“rag” was assuming larger proportions than I had intended, and as often -happens in this funny old world, circumstances were beginning to tie me -up. I could not now confess without giving somebody else away at the -same time as myself. Besides, I did not very much want to confess. The -“conversion” of a large portion of the camp was in sight, for Doc. was -quite right in his analysis of the situation, and the entry of Bishop -and Nightingale on the scene had disposed everybody to further enquiry -into the matter. The position was beginning to have a keen psychological -interest for me. - -So I compromised with my conscience. Freeland drew for me a fitting -poster—a picture of a spook-glass and board, and beneath it I placed a -notice which said that ours was the original Psychical Research Society -of Yozgad, that it had no connection with any other firm, and that we -held séances on stated evenings. Our fellow-prisoners were asked to -attend. The closest inspection was invited. The poster ended by saying -that the mediums each suspected the other and would welcome any enquirer -who could decide how the rational movements of the glass were caused. -Muscular action, thought transference, spiritualism and alcoholism were -suggested to the camp as possible solutions. - -Shortly after this notice was put up, Doc. and I were asked if we -objected to a series of “tests.” Doc., strong in his own innocence, -welcomed the suggestion. As for me, it was exactly what I wanted—the -_raison d’être_ of my notice. Up to now it had been “a shame to take the -money.” This put us on a reasonable basis. If all were discovered, as I -expected would be the case, I’d get my poshing, there would be a good -laugh all round, and that would be the end of it. If by any fluke of -fortune I survived, the testers would only have themselves to blame -afterwards. It was now a fair fight—my wits against the rest—catch as -catch can, and all grips allowed. Neither the Doc. nor I made any -conditions, nor did we want to know beforehand the nature of the tests -to which we were to be subjected. - -But I took my precautions. I secretly nicked the edges of the circle on -which the letters were written in such a way that I could always -recognize, by touch, the position of the board. - - - - - CHAPTER III - - HOW THE MEDIUMS WERE TESTED - - -There was an empty room that formed part of the passage-way between the -two portions of the Upper House. It was insanitary, draughty, and -cheerless. It had an uneven brick floor of Arctic coldness. The view -from the broken-paned, closely-barred window was restricted to a blank -wall and a few ruined houses. Here, in the early days before the Turk -increased our accommodation, five unhappy officers of the Worcester -Yeomanry had learned the full bitterness of captivity. They were not -very big men, but when they were all lying down on the floor together -(as they usually were, poor devils) there was barely space to step -between them, which shows the size of the room. Of its general -undesirability no better proof is wanted than that it remained -uninhabited after the “Cavalry Club” had found better quarters. One -thing only would have induced anyone to take up his dwelling there—the -hope of privacy. But the room was not even private. It was a -thoroughfare, the only means of getting from the northern to the -southern half of the house. - -It was not allowed to remain quite idle. Its dirty “white”-washed walls, -brushwood ceiling, broken windows, and uneven floor saw the birth of -many schemes for alleviating the monotony of existence in Yozgad. Here -was rehearsed our first Christmas Pantomime—“The Fair Maid of -Yozgad”—which is perhaps unique amongst pantomimes in that it had to be -performed secretly, at midnight, after the guards had done their nightly -round. For in it Holyoake and Dorling had given full rein to our -feelings towards our captors, and it would not have been polite—or -judicious—for “honoured guests” to have expressed themselves quite so -freely in public. Here Sandes’s orchestra of home-made instruments used -to hold their practices, which caused a keen student of Darwin to vow he -had no further interest in one branch of evolution—that of music. Here -“Little, Stoker & Co.” made their gallant attempt to start an illicit -still, and here, finally, the “Spook” took up his abode. - -The tests were spread over several evenings. I can only give brief -samples of what occurred. When Doc. and I sat down to the table we were -the centre of a little crowd of spectators and “detectives,” for there -was nothing secret about the séances. - -“Bandage the beggars for a start,” somebody suggested. - -Handkerchiefs were tied round our eyes. - -“Who are you?” asked Alec. - -The glass began to move about. I was writing rubbish. Some sceptic -laughed. - -“Wait a bit,” said Price. “It always begins like that. Now who are you?” - -“S-I-double L-Y, Silly!” the sceptic read out. “That’s rather a poor -shot for ‘Sally.’ The bandage affects the Spook, it seems.” - -“A-S-S,” the Spook went on. “I-T M-A-K-E-S N-O D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-C-E.” - -“We’ll see!” said the sceptic. I felt the board being moved under my -hand. “Now who are you?” - -As the glass circled under my right hand, I felt for and found the -secret nicks with my left thumb. - -“U T-H-I-N-K U A-R-E C-L-E-V-E-R.” - -Slim Jim was lounging about the room. He was Doc.’s prize patient and -was at that time afflicted with the enormous appetite that follows a -long bout of dysentery and fever. - -“Poses as a thought-reader, does he?” he said. “Here! What am I thinking -about?” - -“Your dinner,” said the Spook, and everybody laughed. - -And so on. Mistakes were made, of course, and the glass frequently went -to “next-door” letters, but not more so than on ordinary occasions. It -became generally accepted by the company that whether the mediums had -their eyes bandaged or not, and whether the position of the board was -altered or not, it made no difference. - -Once, when the board was moved, my questing thumb failed to locate the -nicks! I was in a quandary, for I dared not feel openly for the guiding -marks. But I got my position in another way. The glass began to bang -away at one spot. - -“Right,” said Matthews. “Get on.” - -Still the glass banged away at the same letter. - -“All right, I’ve got that one,” Alec repeated. - -But the glass paid no attention. It continued the monotonous tapping. - -“Looks like doing this all night,” I said. “It’s getting wearisome. -Curse it a bit, someone.” - -“Leave that damned ‘D’ alone!” said an obliging spectator. - -“-O-N-T S-W-E-A-R,” the Spook went on at once. We had got our bearings -again. - -One evening some fiend—I think it was Holyoake—suggested turning the -circle with the letters face downwards, a number being written on the -back of each letter. The numbers touched were to be noted down, and any -message given was to be deciphered afterwards. The inversion was made -and it gave me furiously to think. The problem would have been easy -enough had it merely meant a reversal of _all_ the motions of the -glass—_i.e._, if all the letters were diametrically opposite to their -usual stations, as happened when the board was merely twisted round a -half-revolution. I was accustomed to that; but this was different. Take -an ordinary dinner-plate. Mark the points of the compass on it. Now, for -the sake of clearness, revolve the plate on the axis of the North-South -line, and turn it face downwards. The North point is still in the same -position. So is the South point; but while East has changed places with -West, North-East has become not South-West but North-West; -East-Nor’-East has become not West-South-West but West-Nor’-West, and so -on. Given time, I could no doubt have worked out the position of each -letter as I came to it, and moved the glass with fair accuracy. But to -have altered the usual rate of movement would have aroused suspicion. -The glass must move at the usual pace, or not at all; but how to do it? -My memory had created for itself a picture of the board. Given any one -letter, I could visualize the positions of the rest almost -automatically, and my hand could guide the glass to them with as little -conscious effort as a pianist, given his C natural, finds in hitting the -right keys in the dark. Imagine the state of mind of a musician who -finds the C natural in the usual place, but the bass notes on his right -and the treble notes on his left! - -Opposite me the Doc. sat. He had nothing to trouble him, no problem to -work out. His one task in life was to let his hand follow the movements -of the glass, to wait for it to move, and then neither hinder nor help -but go whither it led. To him it did not matter where the letters -were—they might be upside down or inside out for all he cared. The Spook -would take him there. He breathed easily, in the serenity of a full -faith, while the glass moved slowly round and round and I thought and -thought and thought. I tried hard to construct in my mind a -looking-glass picture of the board, and failed. To give myself time I -worked out the positions of the N and the O, and for a spell answered -every question with a “No.” Then all of a sudden the solution flashed -into my mind. After all, I _was_ the Spook. There was, therefore, no -reason why I should not, like every other decently educated spook, be -able to see things through a table, or any other small impediment of -that sort. Instead of imagining myself to be looking _down_ at the board -from _above_ the table, I only had to imagine myself to be looking _up_ -at the board from _below_ the table to have everything in its right -position once more. In thirty seconds the glass was writing as freely as -ever. - -I do not think my friends ever realized the difficulty of the task they -had set me, or how near we were that night to failure. Certainly I got -no credit for the performance. For I, like the Doc., was only a medium. -The credit went where it belonged—to the Spook. - -“You birds satisfied?” asked the Doc. genially, as he leaned back in his -ricketty chair, smoking a cigarette after the trial. “How long are we -going to keep up this testing business? Seems to me the Spook has had -you cold every time. For myself, I’d like to get on to something more -interesting.” - -“So would I,” said I, and I spoke from the bottom of my heart. “The -position seems to me to be this. Either Doc.’s fudging, or he’s not, -and——” - -“I tell you I’m _not_,” said the Doc. emphatically. - -“Some of us don’t believe you,” said I; “that’s why they are testing -you.” - -“Blow me tight! They’re testing you as much as me! I know nothin’ about -it!” - -“Well, put it this way: either _we_ are fudging or we are not. Will that -satisfy you, Doc.?” - -“The way I’d put it,” said the little man, “would be—either _you_ are -pullin’ our blooming legs off or we’ve struck a sixty-horse-power, -armour-plated spook of the very first quality. An’ faith, I wouldn’t put -it past ye—ye vagabond!” - -“Right-o!” I laughed. “Assume I’m fudging. What does it mean? You’ll -admit I’ve been properly blindfolded?” - -“We do,” said Matthews and Price together. - -“I know _I_ was,” grumbled the Doc., rubbing his eyes. - -“Therefore it must have been memory work. D’you think you can remember -the position of all the letters on the board without looking at them?” - -“Sorra a wan!” said the Doctor. - -“I believe I could,” said Matthews. - -“Well, shut your eyes and try to push the glass to them,” I suggested. - -Matthews sat down. He started well, but he had no guide except his own -general position and soon went hopelessly astray. “It would need a lot -of practice,” he said. - -“Seen me practising, any of you?” I asked. - -“We have _not_,” said the Doc., “an’ what’s more we know you haven’t got -the patience for it. Besides, you couldn’t have told us all these things -we’ve had out of the board.” - -“The thing that knocks the memory theory on the head,” said Price, “is -the fact of the board being moved about after you were blindfolded. No -amount of memory would help you if you couldn’t see.” - -“I couldn’t see—I didn’t even try,” I answered with perfect truth. - -“Besides, you old ass,” Price went on with a grin, “we know you forget -your tie as often as not, and you forgot your lines at the Panto, though -you’d only about five, and you nearly left out the Good Fairy’s song -altogether.” He began to laugh. “The idea of accusing you of having a -memory, Bones, is too blessed ridiculous for words. It’s worse than -believing in the Spook.” - -“You needn’t rub it in,” said I. “If I did not remember my exact lines -at the Panto, I made others just as good, I haven’t got a blooming -photographic snapshot camera of a memory like Merriman’s, but it’s as -good as my neighbour’s, anyway.” - -By now they were all laughing at me. I quoted poetry I had learned at -school to prove I had a memory. They only laughed the more. - -“What’s the day of the week?” the Doc. asked suddenly, as if he had -forgotten an engagement. - -“Hanged if I know,” said I. It was easy for a prisoner to forget the day -of the week. - -“There ye are, ye see!” said the Doc., and they all jeered, loud and -long. - -They agreed it could not be done by memory. - -“Can you think of any other way of fudging it?” I asked. They could not. - -“Then if it is not my memory it must be yours, Doc.” - -“What’s the good of sayin’ it is me when I’m tellin’ ye it’s not,” said -the Doc. wrathfully. “You are as bad as the worst sceptic in the place. -I couldn’t do it if I tried, nor could the best man among you. It can’t -be a fudge! Look the facts in the face and admit it!” - -“I don’t see how it can,” said Matthews. “We must look for some other -explanation—telepathy, or subconscious communication, or something of -that sort. That’s the next problem.” - -“We are getting on,” I said. - -We were. But not in the sense they imagined. - -Advanced investigators of Spiritualism are like sword-swallowers. They -can take in with ease what no ordinary mortal can stomach. For in -matters of belief, as elsewhere, “_il n’y a que le premier pas qui -coute_.” It is all a matter of practice and experience. We in Yozgad had -not yet acquired the capacity of an Oliver Lodge or a Conan Doyle, but -we were getting along very well for beginners. The stage of -“True-believerdom” was in sight when my little flock would cease from -talking about “elementary details” and concentrate their attention on -the “greater truths of the World Beyond.” Once a medium has been -accepted as _bona fide_ he has quite a nice job—as easy as falling off a -log, and much more amusing. _Experto credo!_ - -The growth of a belief is difficult to describe, for growth is not a -matter of adding one piece here and another there. It is not an addition -at all, it is a process; and the most that can be done in describing it -is to state a few of the outstanding events and say, “this marks one -stage in the process, that another.” But the process itself does not -move by jerks. Nor is it the sum total of these separate events. In any -investigation each point as it is reached is subjected to proof. Once -passed as proved it forms in its turn part of the foundation for a -further advance in belief. It is the part of the investigator to make -certain he does not admit as correct a single false deduction. If he -does the whole of his subsequent reasoning is liable to be affected. - -It is particularly easy, in a question like spiritualism, to allow -fallacy to creep in. There is a basis of curious phenomena which -certainly exist and are recognized by scientists as indubitable facts. -But the investigator must be careful, _in every instance_, to assure -himself that he is in the presence of the genuine phenomenon, and not of -an imitation of it, and, as a matter of fact, this is sometimes -impossible to do. Thus there is no doubt that the glass will move -without the person whose fingers are resting on it exercising any force -consciously. In the early days of honest experiment, we had satisfied -ourselves on this point. It was within the experience of all of us. Many -of us (I myself was one) could move it alone, without conscious effort; -and before long we came to expect the movement to take place, and to -regard it as the natural consequence of placing our hands in a certain -position. When I began to move the glass consciously there was no -outward indication that any change had taken place, and nobody could -prove I was pushing it rather than “following” it. Nevertheless, the -investigators were no longer in the presence of the genuine phenomenon, -though they thought they were. - -From the knowledge that the movement of the glass could be caused by an -unconscious exercise of force, to the belief that the _rational_ -movement of the glass was caused in the same unconscious way, was but a -little step. It is a step which many eminent men have taken after years -of patient investigation. My friends could hardly have been blamed had -they taken it at once. The fact that they saw fit to test the “mediums” -and failed to discover the fraud does not prove they were fools. It does -show that at least they were moderately careful, and it should be noted -that the reasoning by which they led themselves astray was well based on -facts. The trouble was it did not take into consideration _all_ the -facts that were relevant. They argued: “We ourselves moved the board -round. The only means by which we could tell the new position of the -letters was by looking. Bones was blindfolded. He could not see. -Therefore he could not know the new position of the board.” - -The relevant fact omitted was that man possesses the sense of touch as -well as of vision. It was a failure of observation as well as of logic. -They should have watched my left thumb. - -Then, as corroboration, they argued: “It is notorious Bones’s memory -failed him at the Pantomime, and on other similar occasions. Therefore -Bones has a bad memory. No man with a bad memory could carry in his head -the position of twenty-six letters. Therefore Bones did not do so”—which -neglects the fact that stage-memory is a thing quite apart and by -itself. - -Had anyone observed my thumb, groping cautiously for the secret marks, I -should have failed. Nobody observed it. Therefore I succeeded. It was -only a very small instance of incomplete observation, but it made all -the difference. - -There is a further point to remember. While these tests were proceeding, -the Spook was not idle. He did not take them lying down. The best -defence is always attack. It would never do to allow the investigators -to assume the complete control of the operations, to concentrate on any -single point, or to examine their own reasoning in all its nakedness. -Therefore, while they were trying to discover the origin of the rational -movement of the glass, the Spook counter-attacked continually by framing -his replies to their questions in such a way as to divert the interest -of the audience to the subject matter of the answers and away from the -manner in which they were obtained. The Spook gave, for instance, -appreciations of the military situation on various fronts which formed -splendid food for discussion and eventually led to the issue at frequent -intervals of a Spook Communique. There was one famous night which did -much to establish the authenticity of our “control.” In answer to a -query about the progress of the war, the Spook told us that America was -ready to lend a hand. - -“What’s America going to do?” Alec Matthews asked. - -“Troops—ready now—waiting,” came the answer. - -“Where are they waiting, and how many?” - -“At sea—100,000.” - -An excited buzz of conversation rose round the table. - -“Just a minute,” said a Transport expert. “What shipping have they got?” - -(I was now on dangerous ground, and I knew it. I made a rapid -calculation.) - -“Three-quarter million tons,” came the answer. - -“Where bound?” asked the expert coldly. - -“Vladivostock.” - -“Russia—by Jove!” “Perhaps the Caucasus!” “We may get out this summer -after all.” The audience had got quite excited. Their whispered comments -reached me as I waited for the next question. - -“Composition of the force?”—the expert continued his cross-examination. - -“Three complete divisions. Five hundred aeroplanes. Motor fleet.” - -“Total number of ships, please?” - -“Large and small, 102.” There was no pause between question and answer. - -Several of the audience had pencil and paper out (including the -Transport specialist), and were making detailed calculations. - -“By Jove,” said the expert, “the figures work out about correct, so far -as I can see.” Then, in a fit of suspicion: “Do you know anything about -transport, Doc.?” - -“Devil a bit,” said the Doctor. “An’ I know Bones doesn’t. He’s only a -week-end gunner.” - -“We all know that,” said Alec. - -I grinned and bore it. I knew only one thing about transport. I had read -somewhere and some-when that a modern division needs seven tons of -shipping per head for a long voyage, and my poor old memory had stored -up this useless bit of lore. The Spook got the credit and went on -cheerily to outline the American scheme for strengthening the Russian -front. Next day, in the lane, Staff Officers spent a happy morning -arguing about the length of time it would take the Siberian railway to -transport the troops to the front! - -Meanwhile another factor was contributing greatly to overcome the -suspicions of the camp in general and of my own investigators in -particular. The Hospital House Spook was going great guns. It produced -some first-rate “evidential” matter about various officers—usually -relating to some secret of a “lurid” past which was grudgingly admitted -by the victim to be true—and was exceedingly well informed on matters -relating to the war. Neither Nightingale nor Bishop had any special -acquaintance with the geography of the Western Front—(that was an -“accepted fact” in the camp)—yet their Spook continually referred to -obscure towns and villages all along the line! This was regarded as a -peculiar phenomenon. It is a still more curious phenomenon why the -average Britisher always _will_ under-estimate the strength of his -opponent. - -Then one morning our orderly came in with a dixieful of the whole-wheat -mush which we dignified with the name of porridge. He had obviously -something to tell us. He stood rubbing the instep of one foot slowly up -and down the calf of the other leg, and regarding me whimsically. - -“What’s up, Hall?” asked Pa Davern. - -Hall ran his fingers reflectively through his hair. - -“I dunno, Sir,” he said, “but it looks as if our show’s gettin’ left. -The ’Orsepital ’Ouse Spook’s been and gone off the water waggon, I -reckon.” - -“How?” I asked. A fear seized me that my rival had been found out. That -would mean my downfall, too. - -“Breakin’ windows and such,” Hall said; “reg’lar Mafficking night they -’ad last night. Put the wind up them all proper.” - -“Poltergeistism!” I ejaculated. - -“Beg pardon, Sir,” said Hall, “that’s a new one. I didn’t set out for to -upset you.” - -“He’s not swearing, for once, Hall,” said Pa Davern. “Tell us about it.” - -We learned that the night before there had been a séance in the Hospital -House. A new spook had appeared, calling herself “Millicent the -Innocent.” Asked what she was “innocent” of—a perfectly natural question -in view of the name—she grew exceedingly angry and threatened to show -her power. Some daring member of the audience challenged her to “carry -on,” and immediately a window-pane was smashed inwards, from the -outside, a washstand holding a basin full of water was upset, and a -large wooden chandelier crashed down from its hook on the wall. The room -was well lit at the time. It was a good twenty feet above ground level, -the guards had completed their evening round, and all prisoners were -locked inside the house. Nobody was within a dozen feet of any of the -objects affected. - -After breakfast I went down to the Hospital House and interviewed Mundey -and Edmonds. They were elated and not a little excited by the adventures -of the night before. They showed me the record of the séance, and sent -me to examine the broken pane. - -I saw it could have been broken with a stick from the window of a -neighbouring room—a dark little closet at the head of the stairs. I went -there. The window was nailed up and covered with cobwebs. Perfect! But -in the grime on a little ledge below the window was the fresh imprint of -a foot. I took my embassy cap and dusted it over. It was clear my rival -had a confederate. Except for that little slip over the footprint his -work had been very thorough, and I wondered who it could be. In those -days I knew Hill only by sight, or I might have guessed. - -The camp buzzed with the discussion of the new phenomenon. Compared with -this exhibition of the power of the Unseen over material things, the -rational movements of the glass had become a very minor problem. I hoped -it might be forgotten altogether, or accepted much as we laymen accept -the beating of our hearts—as the necessary but inexplicable condition -for the continued existence of human life. But Alec Matthews was a -persistent and uncomfortably thorough person. He came up to me one -morning as I sat sunning myself against the south wall. I saw from his -eye there was something in the wind. - -“Morning, Bones. I wanted to see you. Little and I and a few more have -been talking over those last séances. Would you object very much to one -more test?” - -“I thought you were all satisfied,” I said. “Tests are a nuisance. I -don’t want to waste more time over them.” - -“Doc. said the same,” said Alec. “But he has agreed, if you are willing. -I’m pretty well satisfied myself already, but if we come through this, -it will clinch it.” - -“What’s the test?” I asked. - -“We’d rather not tell you,” said Alec, “and we haven’t told Doc. -either.” - -“Right-o,” I replied. “Let’s go and join the Majors. They’re watching -the ducks in the lane.” - -Matthews declined the proffered entertainment. Instead, he went off to -Little “to get things ready” for the test. I spent an unhappy day -wondering what on earth the test could be that required so much -preparation. In the evening a rather larger number than usual gathered -round the spook-board. Doc. and I sat down in our usual places. - -“Do you want us blindfolded?” I asked, tendering a handkerchief. - -“Not at all,” said Alec. “I don’t believe sight comes into it, anyway. -Even if it did, it would not be of any use to-night.” - -“It might be more satisfactory, though it is beastly uncomfortable,” I -suggested. - -One of the audience then blindfolded me, but it was carelessly done, and -I could still see the ground at my feet and the nearest edge of the -spook-board. - -“Are you ready?” Alec asked of the spook-board. - -“Yes,” came the answer. - -“This is a test,” Matthews explained. “We want to find out what directs -the glass to the letters. Previous tests indicate it is not done by the -mediums—”(I breathed more freely after that, old chap)—“but it may be -caused by one of the spectators unconsciously exercising a sort of -hypnotic influence over the mediums—in short by Telepathy. I have -prepared a new circle of letters, in triplicate. The original is here, -in this room, and will be produced shortly. The duplicate and triplicate -are in Little’s room. The triplicate is smaller in size and so -constructed as to revolve inside the duplicate. It will be set running -by Boyes and Little, who will leave their room before it stops and guard -the door. I want to see if the glass can write on the original circle in -the code formed by the revolving circle with the duplicate. If it can, -it proves that the movement is not controlled, consciously or -unconsciously, by any human agency, for nobody knows the code, as there -will be nobody in the room when the revolving circle stops.” - -Doc. and I put our fingers back on the glass. - -“Ha! ha! ha!” It wrote at once. - -“You’re laughing,” said Price. “Can you do it?” - -“Easy,” said the Spook. - -The new circle of letters prepared by Matthews was substituted for the -one I knew so well, and word was sent to Little and Boyes to start the -code wheel spinning. - -“Can you write on this new arrangement of the letters?” Matthews asked. - -The glass began to revolve slowly round and round the board. - -“It is examining the letters,” said somebody. - -“Yes,” came the answer from the board. “Ask something.” - -“Good enough,” said Matthews. “Now write in code. Tell us who you are in -code.” - -There was a long pause. - -“The glass feels quite dead, as if there’s nothing here,” said the Doc. -at last. - -“I expect it has gone next door to examine the code,” said somebody, -with a laugh that sounded a trifle forced. - -“B-M-X,” the glass wrote. - -“Is that who you are?” - -“B-M-X,” said the glass again. - -“Is that your name? It seems very short.” - -“B-M-X,” again. - -“Are you writing code?” - -There was another long pause. - -“My bandage is slipping,” said I. “Tie it up, someone.” - -“Oh, never mind your bandage,” said Alec. “Take it off, it can make no -difference.” - -I took it off, and lit a cigarette with my right hand still on the -glass. - -“That’s good,” I said. “You can’t taste smoke with your eyes shut.” - -“You’ve been thinking about smoking instead of keeping your mind blank!” -said the Doc. “That’s why it stopped. It’ll go now, under normal -conditions.” - -“Are you writing code?” Alec repeated. - -“B-M-X—B-M-X—B-M-X.” - -“That may be the code for ‘yes,’” said Price. “Go and see, Little.” - -Little went out to examine the code. While he was away the glass kept up -a monotonous B-M-X, B-M-X. - -Little came back. “Can’t make it out,” he said; “it’s not code for -‘yes.’ B-M-X is V——” - -“Don’t tell us what it is,” Alec interrupted. “Come on, what’s your -name?” - -Before he got the question out the glass was writing again. A -steady string of some thirty to forty unintelligible letters. -“F-G-F-K-V-H-M-D-O-H-O-M-X-O-F-T-T-O-M-U-D-A-N-M-F-G-U-F-N-V-C-F-K-M-T-M-F-N.” - -“Can you repeat all that?” Price asked. - -The glass repeated it a second and a third time without variation. - -“Looks as if we are getting something,” said Alec. “Now please give us a -message.” - -The glass replied at considerable length, and again repeated the reply -three times over. Thus it went on for the best part of an hour, -answering questions in code, and repeating each answer three times. - -“I think we’ve got enough to go on with,” said Price, “and anyway, -whatever this stuff may be, whether it makes sense or not, we’re up -against one thing, and that is, how the deuce can these long rigmaroles -of letters be repeated with such accuracy?” - -While Little and Boyes adjourned with the record to see if they could be -deciphered, the company discussed the evening’s performance. - -“Whatever Little’s verdict may be,” said the Doc., “the sceptics who -think I am doing this have had a bit of a jar to-night.” - -“How so?” I asked innocently. - -The Doc. tapped the spook-board with a grimy forefinger. - -“This is a new arrangement of the letters,” he said, “which was sprung -on me to-night.” - -“Well, what about it?” I asked. - -The Doc. leant across the board and glared at me. “What about it? Why, -ye cormorant! Who but you accused me the other night of rememberin’ the -letters, an’ how can I remember them when I’ve never seen them before? -Yet the thing wrote sense! It said, ‘Yes, ask something,’ in plain -Sassenach!” - -I looked at the board critically. - -“That cock won’t fight, Doc.,” I said. “So far as I can see, this circle -looks like a copy of the old one. I remember that combination N-I-F next -each other.” - -“It’s not quite the same,” said Alec. “I’ve changed a few of the -letters.” He produced the old board and put it alongside the new one. -“You see the T and the W have changed places, and so have the B and the -M. And both the T and the M come into the Spook’s answer to ‘Ask -something.’” - -“Yes,” said the Doc., “and here’s another change—the V and the D.” - -“I didn’t change that,” said Alec quickly. - -“But ye did,” persisted the Doctor. “The old one reads from left to -right, S D V, and the new one S V D.” - -“So it does,” said Alec; “that was an accidental change.” - -“Dash it!” said I. “I never spotted that, either.” - -I don’t know why my remark escaped notice, but it did. Somebody -suggested we should go on spooking, and I put my fingers on the glass -again with a feeling of thankfulness. The glass began to move. - -“I know who this is,” the Doc. said, without opening his eyes. “It’s -Silas P. Warner.” - -“Quite right,” said Price, eyeing Doc. with a growing suspicion. “How -did you know before I read it out?” - -“Why, of all unbelievers,” said Doc. the Innocent, looking at Price in -astonishment; “of all the unbelievers! Faith! D’ye think I’m a lump of -wood, or what? D’ye think I’ve sat here night after night and hour after -hour, fingerin’ this blessed glass, an’ don’t know the difference _in -feel_ between one Spook and another?” - -This was new to me—the “difference in feel” was quite unconsciously -caused on my part—but it was up to me to support the Doc. - -“I’ve noticed that myself,” I said. “Every one of them writes a -different way.” - -“Of course, _what_ they say is always characteristic,” said Price. “I -admit that! But here is Doc. recognizing them not from what they say, -but from the way they say it—from the way the glass moves.” - -“An’ why not?” said the Doc. “Silas has one way of writing—he’s -energetic and slap-bang. An’ Sally has another—she’s world-wise and -knowing. But Dorothy! Dorothy that’s always gentle and sweet! She is the -one _I_ like!” - -We were all still laughing and teasing the Doc. when Little came back. - -“No good,” he said, “the stuff won’t make sense. I’ve been right through -it.” - -“Then we’ve got to explain how It remembered and managed to repeat all -that rigmarole,” said Price. - -“Let’s ask Silas,” Alec suggested, and Doc. and I put our fingers on the -glass again. - -Then Boyes burst into the room, waving a sheet of paper. “It’s all -right,” he gasped breathlessly. “The blessed thing has been coding our -code! It’s been writing one letter to the left all the way through, and -makes perfect sense. Listen.” He began reading out the decoded -sentences. I looked across at Doc. He was grinning at me—a most -aggressive grin! I leant back in my chair and poured myself out a tot of -Raki from Alec’s bottle. - -“I feel I deserve this,” I said, raising my mug. - -“Bones, ye thief of the world!” said Doc. “Pass that bottle! Ye had no -more to do with it than the rest of us.” - -“That he had not,” said Alec. “Circulate the poison! Mugs up, you -fellows. The thing’s proved, so here’s to the Spook that Doc. says feels -the nicest.” - -“Dorothy,” we said, in chorus. - - - - - CHAPTER IV - - OF THE EPISODE OF LOUISE, AND HOW IT WAS ALL DONE - - -Those who still remained sceptical were completely puzzled. Our success -was due, of course, to the cause which makes all spooking -mysterious—inaccurate and incomplete observation. In the first place, -Alec Matthews had been guilty of a bad slip. He was certain that he had -kept the board in his possession and that the mediums could not have -seen it. He forgot he had come into Gatherer’s room before the séance, -to ask some question about a hockey match, and had carried the new board -in his hand. I was sitting in the corner. He stayed in the room, -standing near the door, for perhaps fifteen seconds—just enough for me -to run my eye round the board. After Alec left Gatherer twitted me on -being very silent, and asked if I was “homesick.” I was memorizing the -new position of the letters. - -In the next place, at the séance I was carelessly bandaged. I could see -the edge of the board next me, and from that calculated the position of -the other letters, so that the fact that the glass could at once write -‘Yes, ask something,’ was not so wonderful after all. - -In the third place, Little himself gave away the key to the code when he -tried to tell us what B-M-X stood for. Everybody remembered that Alec -had stopped him from saying what it was, but nobody seemed to notice he -had _begun_ to tell us and had given away the important fact that B -stood for V. The knowledge of the position of one letter gave me a clue -for reconstructing the whole board. Finally, the _recoding_ by the Spook -(by going one letter to the left all the way round) was due to an -accident. I had not noticed that V and D had changed places, and that -the new board read V-D instead of D-V. V was the key letter given away -by Little, and as I saw it in my mind’s eye one place too far to the -left, the rest followed automatically.[4] - -This was the last attempt at an organized test. The investigators were -satisfied. The foundations of Belief had been laid. The rest was -absurdly easy—merely a matter of consolidating the position. It was -extremely interesting from a psychological point of view to notice how -the basic idea that they were conversing with some unknown force seemed -to throw men off their balance. Time and again the “Spook,” under one -name or another, pumped the sitterwithout the latter’s knowledge. It was -amazing how many men gave themselves away, and themselves told the story -_in their questions_, which they afterwards thought the Spook had told -_in his answers_. I could quote many instances, but let one suffice. As -it concerns a lady, I shall depart from my rule, and call the officer -concerned “Antony,” which is neither his true name nor his nickname. - -One night we had been spooking for some time. There was the usual little -throng of spectators round the board, who came and went as the humour -seized them. Our War-news Spook had occupied the stage for the early -part of the evening, and had just announced his departure. We asked him -to send someone else.[5] - -“Who are you?” said Alec. As he spoke the door opened and “Antony” came -in, and stood close to my side. - -“I am Louise,” the board spelt out. - -I felt Antony give a little start as he read the message. Without a -pause the Spook went on: - -“Hello, Tony!” - -“This is interesting,” said Tony. (That was give-away No. 2.) “Go on, -please. Tell us something.” - -I now knew that somewhere Tony must have met a Louise. That was a French -name. So far as I knew he had not served in France. But he had served in -Egypt. One night, a month or so before, in talking of Egyptian scenery, -he had mentioned a long straight road with an avenue of trees on either -side that “looked spiffing by moonlight,” and ran for miles across the -desert. It had struck me at the time that there was nothing particularly -“spiffing” about the type of scenery described; nothing, at any rate, to -rouse the enthusiasm he had shown, and his roseate memory of it might -have been tinged by pleasant companionship. Remembering this, I ventured -to say more about Louise. Nothing could be lost by risking it. - -“You remember me, Tony?” asked the Spook. - -“I know two Louises,” said Tony cautiously. - -“Ah! not the old one, _mon vieux_,” said the Spook. - -(Now this looks as if the Spook knew both, but a little reflection shows -that, given two Louises, one was quite probably older than the other.) - -“Antony” was delighted. - -“Go on,” he said. “Say something.” - -“Long straight road,” said the Spook; “trees—moonlight.” - -“Where was that?” asked Tony. There was a sharpness about his -questioning that showed he was hooked. - -“_You_ know, Tony!” - -“France?” - -“No, no, stupid! Not France! Ah, you have not forgotten, _mon cher_, -riding in moonlight, trees and sand, and a straight road—and you and me -and the moon.” - -“This is _most_ interesting,” said Antony. Then to the board: “Yes, I -know, Egypt—Cairo.” - -“Bravo! You know me. Why did you leave me? I am in trouble.” - -This was cunning of the Spook. Tony must have left her, because he had -come to Yozgad without her. But Tony did not notice. He was too -interested, and his memory carried him back to another parting. - -“You told me to go,” said Tony. “I wanted to help”—which showed he -hadn’t! - -“But you didn’t—you didn’t—you didn’t!” said the Spook. - -Tony ran his hand through his hair. “This is quite right as far as it -goes,” he said, “but I want to ask a few questions to make sure. May I?” - -“Certainly,” said Doc. and I. - -He turned to the board (it was always amusing to me to notice how men -had to have something _material_ to question, and how they never turned -to the Doc. or me, but always to the board. Hence, I suppose, the -necessity for “idols” in the old days). - -“Have you gone ba——” He checked himself and rubbed his chin. “No,” he -went on, “I won’t ask that.—Where are you now?” - -He had already, without knowing it, answered his own question, but he -must be given time to forget it. - -“Ah, Tony,” said Louise, “you _were_ a dear! I did love so your hair.” - -This was camouflage, but it pleased Tony. - -“Where are you now?” Tony repeated, thinking, no doubt, of soft hands on -his hair. - -“Why did you not help me?” said Louise. - -“Look here, I want to make sure _who_ you are. Where are you now?” - -“Are you an unbeliever, Tony? _C’est moi, Louise, qui te parle!_” - -“Then tell me where you are,” Tony persisted. - -“Oh dear, Tony, I _told_ you I was going back. I went back!” - -“By Jove!” said Tony, “that settles it. Back to Paris?” - -“I wish you were here,” sighed poor Louise. “The American is not -nice—not nice as you, Tony.” - -“American?” Tony muttered. “Oh yes. I say, what’s your address?” - -The movement of the glass changed from a smooth glide to the “slap-bang” -style abhorred by all of us. - -“Look here, young feller! You get off the pavement. I don’t want you -butting round here!” said the glass. “I’m Silas P. Warner——” - -“Go away, Silas!” “Blast you, Silas!” “Get out of this!” “We don’t want -to talk to you, we want Louise!” An angry chorus rose from Matthews, -Price, and the rest of the interested spectators. Silas had a nasty -habit of butting in where he was not wanted—always at crucial and -exciting points—and was unpopular. - -But Silas would not go. He asserted Louise was in his charge. He would -not tolerate these conversations with doubtful characters. Tony could go -to hell for all he cared. He didn’t care two whoops if it _was_ a -scientific experiment—and so forth, and so on. - -“One more question,” pleaded poor Tony, “and if she gets this right I -must believe. How does she pronounce the French word for ‘yes’?” - -This question, if genuine, again gave a clue to the answer. For it -showed she did not pronounce it in the ordinary way. And I felt pretty -certain the question was genuine. When a sitter is setting a trap his -voice usually betrays him. It is either toneless, or the sham excitement -in it is exaggerated. Tony’s voice was just right. So I decided quickly -not to fence, but to risk an answer. The most probable change would be a -V for the W sound, or the W sound would be entirely omitted. There was -therefore a choice of three sounds, “Ee,” “Vee,” and “Evee.” The problem -was to give the questioner, without his realizing it, a choice of all -three sounds in one answer—he would be sure to choose the one he was -expecting. - -The glass wrote “E” and paused. Tony beside me was breathing heavily. I -gave him plenty of time to say “That’s right,” but as he didn’t the -glass went on— - -“V-E-E.” He could now choose between Vee and Evee. - -“Evee!” said Tony. “That’s it exactly! Ye gods, she always said it that -funny way—evee, evee!” He began to talk excitedly. - -After the séance, Tony took me apart and declared he had never seen -anything so wonderful in his life. He told me the whole story of Louise. -How they rode together along the long straight road near Cairo; how it -was full moon, and there was an avenue of lebbak trees through which the -silver light filtered down; and how at the end of the ride they parted. -I don’t think anybody else was privileged to hear the whole story, but -next day he told everybody interested that as soon as he came into the -room the blessed glass said “Hello, Tony! I’m Louise.” If the reader -will turn back a page or two he will see this is another instance of bad -observation. The Spook said, “I’m Louise,” at which “Antony” started; -and _only then_ did the Spook say, “Hello, Tony!” The startled movement -which provided the link was forgotten, and the simple inversion of -Tony’s memory—putting “Hello, Tony!” before “I’m Louise,” instead of -after it—made it impossible for the outsider to discover the fraud. With -the lapse of a little time, his memory played him further tricks. A -month later he was convinced the Spook had told him the whole story -straight off, with all the details he gave me afterwards in his room. -This was all very helpful, from one who had been a strenuous unbeliever. -And a poor, overworked medium saw no reason to correct him. - -Eighteen months later I sat, a free man, in Ramleh Casino at Alexandria. -Opposite me, at the other side of the small round table, was one of the -Yozgad converts to spiritualism. I had just told him all our work had -been fraudulent, and had quoted the Tony-Louise story to show how it was -done. - -The Convert thought a moment. - -“Granted that Tony, by his start, provided the link between ‘Louise’ and -himself,” he said, “there is still one thing to explain.” - -“What is that?” - -“What made you connect the long straight road, and the trees, and the -moonlight, with ‘Louise’?” - -“Well,” I said, “that, of course, was a mere shot in the dark—a guess.” - -The Convert smiled pityingly at me. - -“You call it guessing. Do you know what I think it was?” - -“No,” said I. - -“Unconscious telepathy—you were influenced by ‘Antony’s’ thoughts.” - -Is there any way of converting _believers_? What is a man to say? - - * * * * * - -Spiritualists have divided the statements of spooks into “evidential” -matter and “non-evidential” matter. Evidential matter is that which is -capable of proof in the light of knowledge acquired by the sitters (or -their friends) either prior to or subsequent to the séance. In every -case its basic hypothesis is ignorance on the part of the medium. -Provided the medium has no apparent means of knowing a thing, or no -apparent grounds for formulating a guess, he or she is presumed to be -ignorant. Thus, in Sir Oliver Lodge’s book, _Raymond_, the evidential -value of the photograph incident rests on the adequacy of the proof that -the medium had no knowledge of the photograph described. My own -experiences as a medium incline me to the belief that whereas it may be -possible to prove that a given person has had no given opportunity of -acquiring a given piece of knowledge, it is _never_ possible to prove -that he has not had _some_ opportunity or, in the alternative, that he -is not guessing. That is to say, when a statement is correct, knowledge -can sometimes be proved. Ignorance, or guesswork, can never be proved. -In Yozgad the Spook described a “tank” with very fair accuracy, told of -the fall of Kut, the capture of Baghdad, the great German offensive in -North Italy, and many more things which were subsequently proved to be -correct. It named officers, and gave details of past experiences known -only to themselves. A lot of good fellows—Peacocke, Matthews, Edmonds, -Mundey, Price, “Tony,” and many others were victimized in turn. - -Our news was of two kinds—general and personal. The general news dealt -chiefly with the war. A little of it I obtained from home. Any -“exclusive” item of news I got in my letters I published through the -spook-board, and left it to Father Time and the Turkish post to bring -corroboration. When corroboration arrived, the Spook’s statement became -evidential. But this was only a small portion of the information given. -The rest was guesswork, and the items which turned out to be correct -were remembered afterwards, as further “evidential matter.” The rest was -set aside as “not proven,” and forgotten. - -The personal news was also largely guesswork. The medium’s usual method -was to throw out a cap and watch who tried it on, as in the case of -Louise and Tony. He then proceeded to try to make it fit. If he failed, -no harm was done, for no special impression was made. The “fishing” -references were simply not understood, and forgotten. If he succeeded, -it was another piece of evidential matter. These were bows drawn at a -venture. - -But we also took the gifts the gods sent. One of the most amusing and -successful _coups_ in the personal news branch was made by the -repetition of a long story told in extreme confidence by the sitter -himself to the medium months before. _In vino veritas!_—sometimes. -Nightingale banked everything on its truth and on the fact that the -confidential stage of winey-ness has a very short memory, and he won. -The sitter—hitherto a sceptic—was afflicted with exceeding great alarm -and despondency. He approached the two enthusiasts (Edmonds and Mundey), -who kept the records of the séances for the future benefit of the -Psychical Research Society, and got the séance wiped off the slate! Then -he departed—a True Believer! Of course, the gift of a complete story -like this was a rarity. But it was a common trick, both with the -Hospital House spook and our own, to store up some trivial experience, -the name of a person or a place, casually mentioned in conversation—and -then spring it on its author some weeks or months later when a suitable -opportunity occurred. The medium simply waited for the victim to enter -the room and then the glass wrote: “Hello, Tom (or Dick or Harry). Here -you are. I haven’t seen you since we met at the Galle Face,” or the -Swanee River, or whatever place Tom happened to have mentioned. -Whereupon, for a sovereign, the surprised Tom would ejaculate: “Heavens -above! That must be old Jack Smith!” The Spook then saved up old Jack -Smith for a future use. And so the story grew. Next time it would be: -“Hello, Tom. I’m Jack Smith. Remember the Galle Face, old chap?” - -The “non-evidential” matter also turned out a howling success. We got in -some very fancy work in our descriptions of “spheres.” Nearly a year -later (1918) Sir Oliver Lodge’s book _Raymond_ reached the camp, and in -it was found corroboration for many of our flights of imagination. It -was known that none of us had been “spookists” before. So in a sense, -and for our camp, even the non-evidential matter became evidential. The -resemblances between the utterances of our spooks and the trivialities -in _Raymond_ were so manifest that the genuineness of our performances -was considered proved. Who said two blacks never make a white? Indeed, -we were considered to have advanced human knowledge further than Lodge. -For not only had we got into touch with the 4th, 5th, 6th, and _n_th -spheres, but also with one unknown to other spiritualists—the _minus -one_ sphere, where dwell the souls of the future generations who have -not yet entered this Vale of Tears. There were plenty of “literary” men -in the camp. Nobody recognized Maeterlinck’s _Blue Bird_ in a new -setting! - -In building up the reputation of our spooks there was one type of séance -we did not encourage. We threw aside the strongest weapon in the -medium’s armoury. The emotional fog which blinds the critical faculty of -the sitter is most valuable to the medium, and is quite easy to create. -A “Darling Boy” from a dead Mother, or a “My son” from a dead Father -does it. But there were limits to which we could not go. We created our -fog, and built up our Spook’s reputation without the introduction of -what are called “harrowing spiritual experiences.” Our spooks were all -impersonal to the audience (Sally, Silas P. Warner, Beth, George, -Millicent, and so on); nobody’s dear dead was allowed to appear on the -scene. Louise was no exception; she was still alive, and “on this side.” -The rule was only once broken, so far as I am aware, and then only -partially so. Under extreme pressure a private séance was granted to a -most persistent sitter. He wanted his father to speak to him. One of our -usual spooks appeared. But we never reached the stage of direct -communication. The emotional strain on all concerned was so obvious that -I cut short the séance. Nor was it ever repeated. Indeed, to the best of -my recollection it was the last séance conducted by me in the camp. It -showed me one thing clearly—given the necessary emotional strain, the -sitter is completely at the mercy of the medium. - -I know well that conversations with the dear dead are the every-day -stock-in-trade of the average medium. It makes mediumship so much -easier. Besides, for all I know, the medium may be genuine. And far be -it from me to decry the efforts of eminent scientists to forge their -links with the world beyond by any means they choose. They want to -“break through the partition.” In their effort they have perhaps every -right to circularize the widows and mothers of those whose names adorn -the Roll of Honour. To the scientist, a widow or a mother is only a unit -for the purpose of experiment and percentage. To the professional medium -she represents so much bread and butter. Assuredly these bereaved ladies -should be invited to attempt to communicate with their dead husbands and -their dead sons! The more the merrier, and there is no time like the -present. We have a million souls just “gone over” in the full flush of -manhood. The fodder of last year’s cannon is splendid manure for the -psychic harvests of the years to come. Carry on! Spread the glad -tidings! Our glorious dead are all waiting to move tables and push -glasses, and scrawl with planchettes, and speak through trumpets, and -throw mediums into ugly trances—at a guinea a time. There they are, “on -the other side,” long ranks of them, fresh from the supreme sacrifice. -They are waiting to do these things for us before they “go on” further, -into the utter unknown. Hurry up! Walk up, ye widows, a guinea is little -to pay for a last word from your dead husbands, Many of you would give -your immortal souls for it! Walk up, before it is too late. You may -find, to begin with, they are “a little confused by the passing over,” a -“little unskilled” at the handling of these uncouth instruments of -expression—the table, the glass, the trance. But be patient. They only -need practice and will improve with time. Go often enough to the -mediums, preferably to the same medium, and your dead will learn to -communicate. And, above all, “have faith.” It is the faithful believer -who gets the most gratifying results. - -Ah, yes. We know that “faithful believer.” He is apt to be stirred by -his emotions, and a little careless in the framing of his questions. - -I have seen men die from bullets, and shell, and poison; from -starvation, from thirst, from exhaustion, and from many diseases. God -knows, I have feared Death. Yet Death has ever had for me one strong -consolation—it brings the “peace that passeth all understanding.” Like -me, perhaps, you have watched it come to your friends and lay its quiet -fingers on their grey faces. You have seen the relaxation from -suffering, the gentle passing away and then the ineffable Peace. And is -_my_ Peace, when it comes, to be marred by this task of shifting tables, -and chairs, and glasses, Sir Oliver? Am I to be at the beck and call of -some hysterical, guinea-grabbing medium—a sort of telephone boy in -Heaven or Hell? I hope not, Sir. I trust there is nobler work beyond the -bar for us poor mortals. - - * * * * * - -Be that as it may, ours at Yozgad was a comparatively healthy -spiritualism, conducted by a collection of spooks who did not encourage -snivelling sentimentalism, even under the guise of scientific -investigation. With the exception of a monotonous melancholic, who -butted in at regular intervals to inform us plaintively that he was -“buried alive,” the spooks were a decidedly jovial lot. They kept us in -touch with the outside world. We walked with them down Piccadilly, dined -with them in the Troc., and tried to hear with them the music of the -band. We conversed with Shackleton on his South Polar expedition, with -men in the trenches in France, and with ships on the wide seas. From -Cabinet Meetings to the good-night chat between “Beth Greig” and her -girl friend, nothing was hidden from us. There was no place to which we -could not go, nothing we could not see with the Spook’s eyes, or hear -with his ears. A successful night at the spook-board was the nearest we -could get, outside our dreams, to a breath of freedom. We forgot our -captivity, our wretchedness, our anxieties, and lived joyously in the -fourth dimension. And it was better than novels—streets ahead of -novels—for it might be true. - - - - - CHAPTER V - - IN WHICH THE READER IS INTRODUCED TO THE PIMPLE - - -“‘Pimple’ wants to see you, Bones,” said Freeland, one afternoon in -April. - -“What on earth does he want with me?” I asked. I had never yet had any -truck with the five-foot-nothing of impertinence that called itself the -Camp Interpreter. - -“Don’t know, I’m sure. He’s waiting for you in the lane.” - -I went down. Moïse, the Turkish Interpreter, was standing at our camp -notice-board, surrounded by the usual little crowd of prisoners trying -to pump him on the progress of the war. His hands were plunged deep in -the pockets of a pair of nondescript riding-breeches. At intervals he -took them out to readjust the pince-nez before his short-sighted eyes, -and then plunged them back again. His calves were encased in uncleaned, -black, leather gaiters. His sadly worn boots gave one the impression of -having previously belonged to someone else. His grey-blue uniform coat -had Austrian buttons on it, and his head-gear was a second-hand -caricature of the Enver cap. Yet he stood there with all the assurance -of a bantam cock on his own dung-heap, and crowed in the faces of his -betters. He was part of the bitterness of captivity. - -“Good afternoon, Jones,” he said familiarly, as I came up. He had never -greeted me before—he kept his salutations for _very_ senior officers. - -“What do you want?” I asked. - -He led me a little to one side, away from the crowd. - -“You are a student of spiritism?” he said, eyeing me sharply. “The -sentries have told me.” - -“Well?” I ventured. - -“Have you much studied the subject?” - -“So-so,” said I. - -“How much do you know about it? I, too, am interested.” - -(I wondered what was up. Was I going to be punished?) - -“The Commandant also is interested in these matters,” he went on -insinuatingly, “and many officers have written to England of what you -are doing.” - -I thought I was “for it,” and fought for time. “I refer you to my -friends for what I have done,” said I. “Captain Freeland, for instance.” - -“Can you read the future?” he asked. “I have some questions.” - -“What?” (I breathed again.) - -“I want you to answer by occultism for me some questions. You will?” - -Again I needed time, but for a different reason. - -“We can’t talk here,” I said confidentially; “our mess has tea in about -half an hour; come up and join us.” - -“Right-o!” The familiar phrase somehow sounded obnoxious on his tongue. -I walked back, up the steep path, thinking hard. Hitherto spooking had -been merely a jest, with a psychological flavouring to lend it interest. -But now a serious element was being introduced. If I could do to the -Turks what I had succeeded in doing to my fellow-prisoners, if I could -make them believers, there was no saying what influence I might not be -able to exert over them. It might even open the door to freedom. Without -any clear vision of the future, with nothing but the vaguest hope of -ultimate success, I made up my mind to grip this man, and to wait for -time to show how I might use him. - -“Freak,” said I, entering our room, “wash your face, ’cause the ‘Pimple’ -is coming to tea.” - -Freeland stared at me open-mouthed. Uncle Gallup protested mildly -because the announcement had caused him to blot his Great Literary Work. -The Fat Boy woke from a deep sleep, and Pa dropped his pipe. - -“Well, I’m ——,” said everybody at once. - -“We’ll have that cake you’re saving up for your birthday, Freak,” I -suggested. - -“Hanged if we do,” said Freeland. “The little swab pinches half our -parcels—why should we feed him? If he comes to tea, I’ll go and sit on -the landing.” - -“And I—and I—and I——” chorused the other three. - -“No you don’t!” I said. “You’ll stay here and be good. Because of my -great modesty _I_ am the one who will be away. I can’t listen to my own -praises. You, Freak, will tell him yarns about my powers as a Spookist, -you will tell him that never before was there such a Spookist, never——” - -“But I know nothing about your beastly spooking,” Freeland objected. - -“Oh yes, you do! You know how I learnt the occult secrets of the -Head-hunting Waa Tribe, and——” - -“The WHO?” Freeland interrupted. - -“The Head-hunting Waas in Burma,” I repeated. “I got this scar on my -forehead from them, you know, when they were trying to scalp me.” - -“You old liar!” said Pa. “I know how you got that scar. It was on the -Siamese side in ’09——” - -“Shut up, Pa!” I said. “I’m only asking Freak to prepare the ground. I -want to make another convert, and once we’ve got the blighter on the -string I’ll make him dance all right.” - -“I’m sure it’s all beyond me,” said Uncle Gallup plaintively; “I’m all -mixed up between you and the Spook, anyway.” - -Freeland was looking at me strangely. “_You’ll_ make him dance, will -you?” he said. - -“I mean, of course,” I corrected myself hastily, “the _Spook_ will make -him dance.” - -“How d’you know what the Spook will do?” asked Freeland. There was a -confoundedly knowing twinkle in his eye. - -I was cornered. “I’m only guessing,” I said lamely. “I—I——” - -“Right-o!” said Freeland, laughing. “I’ll stuff him up for you. You -leave it to me.” - -In that moment, I am convinced, Freeland more than suspected it was all -a fraud. Like the good sport he was, he covered my confusion from the -others, and never, either then or afterwards, pressed his advantage. We -talked hurriedly over what he was to say to the Interpreter, and I left -the room. - -[Illustration: THE LANE WHERE THE PRISONERS EXERCISED] - -An hour and a half later, from my hiding-place in Stace’s room, I -watched the Interpreter depart. Then I returned to our Mess. There was a -litter of tea-cups all over the place. I poured myself out a cup of cold -tea. - -“Oh, you’ve had the cake,” I said, pointing to some delectable-looking -crumbs on a plate; “where’s my bit?” - -“_Yok_,”[6] said Freeland, with ill-concealed glee. - -“Come on, you blighters, fork it out,” I pleaded. It was a recognized -rule of the mess that all parcel dainties (Heaven knows they were few -enough!) were scrupulously shared. An absentee’s portion was always put -aside for him. - -“_Yessack_,”[7] said Freeland, laughing. “We told the Interpreter you -never eat anything rich before a séance, so he took it. Besides, you -told me to stuff him up——” - -When the necessary posh had subsided, Freeland let me know what yarn he -had told Moïse. It appeared that some years ago I had been taken -prisoner by the Head-hunters. They tortured me—my body bore scars in -witness of it—but I was saved from death by the Witch Doctor, who -recognized in me a brother craftsman. In exchange for my knowledge he -taught me his. Then he died, and I became Chief of the Tribe by reason -of my magic powers. In due course I left the Waas and returned to -civilization with my pockets full of Burmese rubies, and my head full of -the Magic of the East. - -“You piled it on a bit thick, Freak,” said I. - -“Oh, I went further than that,” he laughed. “I told him Townshend used -to employ you to read the minds of the Turkish generals, which explains -why none of the Turkish attacks on Kut came off!” - -“Well, _that’s_ torn it all right!” I exclaimed. - -“Not a bit of it. It all went down—same as the cake. See here——” - -He handed me a sheet of paper on which Moïse had written a list of -questions. - -“He wants these submitted to the Spirit at the next séance.” - -I ran my eye down the page. No names were mentioned, but it was possible -to read between the lines. There were some civilian ladies interned in -another part of Yozgad. - -“Why,” I said in astonishment, “the fellow’s given himself away! He is -using his official position as jailor to pay court to those unhappy -girls!” - -“Yes,” said Freeland, and there was a deep anger in his voice. “Yes. -He’s got to be made to sit up. Can you manage it, Bones?” - -My back was turned towards the other occupants of the room. I looked -into Freak’s eyes, and winked. - - * * * * * - -At the next séance I produced the Pimple’s written questions for the -inspection of Price, Matthews, and the Doc. Then I showed them answers -prepared by Freeland and myself at the expenditure of much time and -thought. - -“I propose,” said I, “to send these as if they came from the Spook. It -is no good wasting the Spook’s time over the Pimple; but you fellows -will have to say, if asked, that we got this stuff at a séance.” - -“The answers are pretty good,” said Alec, “and they hit him about as -hard as he deserves, but they are not exactly characteristic of the -Spook.” - -“They won’t do at all, at all,” said the Doc. “He will know at once it -is your work. Anybody with half an eye could spot your style, Bones.” - -“Why not try the Spook and see,” Price suggested. “If the answers we get -are not suitable, we can send this forgery.” - -“But what’s the use of wasting time?” I objected; “the thing’s done -already, and——” - -“Ach! Come on, Bones!” The Doc. put his fingers on the glass. “Let’s get -the genuine article. It’ll be as different as chalk from cheese.” - -Freeland and I had spent a whole afternoon concocting the replies. It -was most annoying that they should thus be consigned to the scrap-heap. -I was also doubtful if I could manufacture a fresh series at such short -notice, but I put my fingers on the glass and somehow the answers came -and elicited general approval. - -“There you are,” said Price at the end of the séance, putting the record -before me. “Read that, my son!” - -“The Spook’s the boy,” laughed the Doc. “If the Pimple has got any -epidermis left to his feelings when he has read through those answers, -you can call me a Dago. It’ll frighten the little cad out of his seven -senses. Look at question eight, will ye! ‘What will my friends think?’ -Bones gives a wishy-washy, non-committal answer, and says, ‘Your friends -won’t know.’ _Spook_ says, ‘You have NO friends.’ That’s the stuff to -keep him awake o’nights. I’m all in favour of leaving it to the Spook -every time; there’s not a man of us can come within shoutin’ distance of -him.” - -“Yes, it’s a good job we left it to the Spook,” said Alec; “he gets -there every time, right on the solar plexus—a regular knock-out.” - -It has always been the same. Far-away birds have fine plumage. A -prophet’s meed of honour varies directly as the square of the distance. -Still, every man wants to consider himself an exception to the rule. To -me it was at first a little disappointing to be one more example of its -application and to find the utterings of an unknown spook so much -preferable to my own. - -However, the answers created a deep impression on Moïse the Interpreter, -who, at this time, was not a believer in spiritualism. He had only -reached the stage of wondering if there might not be something in it. -Moreover, he was a well-educated man (he had spent some years in the -Ecole Normale in Paris), and had all the natural intelligence and acumen -of the cosmopolitan Jew. I felt I had a difficult task in front of me -and walked warily. I pretended an absolute indifference as to whether he -believed in the Spook or not and never suggested that he should come to -séances. The result was that he consulted the Spook once, twice and -again. Every time, without knowing it, he gave something away. I -privately tabulated his questions, studied them hard, and determined -above all to hold my own counsel until the time was ripe. - -On May 6th, 1917, an order was posted forbidding prisoners to -communicate in their letters to England “news obtained by officers in a -spiritistic state.” This was encouragement indeed! It showed that the -Turks were taking official notice of my humble efforts. At the same time -I could not believe that it was the Interpreter who was responsible for -this new prohibition. He was by now deeply interested if not already a -believer, and was too anxious to keep on good terms with the mediums to -risk offending them by attacking their spiritualism. It behoved me -therefore to find out who was behind it. I waited my opportunity and -waylaid Moïse in the lane. - -“That’s a poor trick of yours,” said I, “stopping us writing home about -spiritualism. We only want verification of what the Spook says. The -matter is one of scientific interest. It has no military significance at -all.” - -“I say so to the Commandant,” said Moïse, “but he would not agree! He -says it is dangerous.” - -“Get along, Moïse! The Commandant has nothing to do with that notice. -You put it up yourself to crab our amusements.” - -Moïse probed excitedly in his pockets and produced a paper in Turkish -which he flourished under my nose. - -“There you are!” he said. “The seal! The signature! He wrote the order. -I merely translated. I _told_ him how great was the scientific value, -how important is the experiment. He said the Spook gives war news. It is -his fault, not mine.” - -“Is the Commandant also a believer?” I asked. - -“Assuredly! He has much studied the occult. He often consults on -problematic difficulties women and witches in this town, but mostly by -cards. He greatly believes in cards.” - -“Yes,” I said, “there is much in cards, but it is rather an -old-fashioned and cumbersome method. Now the Ouija——” - -Jimmy Dawson rushed up to find out if the Pimple had any parcels for him -in the office, and I seized the opportunity to depart. As I went I -hugged myself. The Commandant too! - -Kiazim Bey, Bimbashi of Turkish Artillery and Commandant of our camp, -was the most nebulous official in Asia. He did not visit us once in -three months. He answered no letters, took not the least notice of any -complaints, refused all interviews, and pursued a policy of masterly -inactivity which was the despair of our Senior Officers. He was a sort -of Negative Kitchener—the very antithesis of organizing power—but he had -the same genius for silence. Endowed with a native dignity and coolness -which contrasted favourably with our helpless anger at his incapacity -and neglect, he was comfortable enough himself (thanks to the contents -of our food parcels) to be able to view our discomforts with a -philosophic calm. And, withal, he was more inaccessible than the Great -Moghul. Of the man himself, of his likes and dislikes, his hopes, his -fears, his ambitions, his most ordinary thoughts, we knew less than -nothing. How long, I wondered, would it be before I could get him into -the net? Would he ever consult the Ouija as he consulted the “women and -witches” of Yozgad? Would the Spook be able to play with him as it -played with Doc. and Matthews and the rest of my friends? - -The whole thing looked very impossible, but in less than a twelvemonth -this “strong silent man” was to be clay in the potter’s hands, and evict -his pet witch to give houseroom to two practical jokers—Lieutenant C.W. -Hill and myself. - - - - - CHAPTER VI - - IN WHICH THE COOK APPEARS AND THE SPOOK FINDS A - REVOLVER - - -Rome was not built in a day, and I had my little sea of troubles to -navigate before reaching the safe harbour of the Witch’s Den. My -new-born hope of capturing Kiazim was barely a fortnight old when the -spooking in our house came to a sudden end. On the 23rd of May a party -of 28 rank and file arrived at Yozgad, to act as additional orderlies to -the officers in our camp. A travel-worn, starved, and fever-stricken -little band were these “honoured guests of Turkey”: they had been -driven, much as stolen cattle were driven by Border raiders in the old -days, across the deserts from Baghdad and Sinai, herded at their -journey’s end in foul cellars and filthy mud huts, and left unclothed, -unfed, unwarmed, to face the winter as best they might. Seven out of -every ten Britishers who left Kut as prisoners died in the hands of -their “hosts.” The state in which these gallant fellows reached Yozgad -roused the camp to fury, but it was a very helpless fury. We could do -nothing. - -The immediate consequence of their arrival was the opening of the -“Schoolhouse,” or, as it was more commonly called, “Posh Castle.” -Thirteen officers moved into it, taking with them their quota of -orderlies, and three of the thirteen were Price, Matthews, and Doc. -O’Farrell. Their departure put an end to the séances in our house. After -our previous exhaustive experiments I dared not suddenly discover -somebody else _en rapport_ with me. - -But in the Hospital House spooking went on cheerily all the summer under -the auspices of Bishop and Nightingale, and it gave the camp much to -think about. There was the episode of Colonel Coventry’s sealed letter, -which the Spook read with the greatest ease. Mundey, as true a believer -as any of my converts in the Upper House, assured Coventry the letter -had never left his possession. He was perfectly honest in his assurance. -The courage with which he stood up for his convictions moved my -admiration. It was no fault of his that he was unconsciously up against -a first-class conjuror,[8] and that he did not know the letter had been -removed, steamed, read, copied, resealed and replaced. The episode is -merely another instance of faulty observation. It supports the argument -which “common sense” opposes to spiritualists. Because X or Y or any -other eminent scientist or honourable man vouches for the correctness of -a fact, it does not follow that the fact is so. All X and Y can really -vouch for is that it is so to the best of their belief. Nor does it -follow that because scores of persons observed the same details as X and -Y, these details are either complete or correct. How many members of a -music-hall audience can see how a conjuring trick is done? For every one -who has noticed the key move there will be a hundred who did not. In -matters of observation the truth is not to be discovered by a show of -hands. - -Then there was the episode of the floating bucket. In view of our -success in instilling credulity, it may be thought that soldiers are for -some reason peculiarly gullible. But we gulled others as well—farmers, -lawyers, and business men. Lieutenant McGhie, for example, was a dour -Scot, not a regular soldier, but an ordinary sensible business man, with -a liking for donning khaki when there was the chance of a scrap, and -taking it off again when all was quiet. He had “done his bit” in the -Boer War before he went killing Turks at Oghratina. He could not be -called either a nervous or an imaginative man. He was one of many at a -Hospital House séance who saw a bucket “float across the room.” “Nobody -could have thrown it—it was quite impossible!” Yet Nightingale threw -that bucket! I can only account for this and similar cases by the -assumption that the effect of a séance—of the feeling that one is -dealing with an unknown force—is to blind one’s powers of observation -much as the unknown motor-car makes the savage bury his nose in the -sand. Indeed, it does more than blind, it distorts. One more instance of -the methods by which interest was kept alive. Upstairs in the Hospital -House Mundey and Edmonds, who were recording for Bishop and Nightingale, -found one evening that they could get only the first half of each -message. Every sentence tailed off into nothingness. This was -“discovered” to be due to the fact that downstairs Hill and Sutor were -“blocking the line,” and getting the second halves of the messages. We -had never heard of “cross-correspondence.” Nightingale and Hill invented -it between them (after all, it is a natural sort of leg-pull), and -carried it a step further than any professional medium I have ever read -of. - -The man responsible for pushing the glass in the Hospital House séances -was Nightingale. The position of his fellow-medium, Bishop, was exactly -analogous to that of Doc. O’Farrell—he was perfectly innocent of any -suspicion that the whole affair was not genuine. The manifestations were -worked by Hill at a given signal from Nightingale, so that they -synchronized with the writing on the board. Two other people were “in -the know”—Percy Woodland and Taylor, and very carefully they guarded the -secret. This information I learned for certain in August of the same -year, when Nightingale, Hill and I swopped confidences. Until my own -spook-club had broken up, I had paid no attention to the occasional -advances in search of truth which my rivals had made. It was amusing to -learn that my admission of faking took a weight off their minds—they had -felt pretty certain all along that the Upper House show was also a -fraud, but had been puzzled by my reticence and were obviously relieved -to learn the truth. At the time of our mutual confessions, Nightingale -was dreadfully tired of being dragged out night after night by -enthusiastic spook chasers, and was racking his brains to discover some -means of giving it up without causing offence. As one of his -converts—Lieutenant Paul Edmonds—had already written a book on the new -revelations of Nighty’s spook, confession had become rather difficult. - -“Don’t confess,” I said. “Let’s get the Pimple well on the string -first.” - -“But how?” asked Nighty. - -None of us knew. We could only imitate Mr. Micawber and hope something -would turn up. - -Something did turn up—it always does if you wait long enough. Early in -September, Cochrane and Lloyd, walking up and down the hockey ground, -noticed a leather strap sticking out of the earth. The magpie instinct -was by this time well developed in the camp. At one time or another we -had all been so hard up that we now made a habit of collecting tins, -bits of string, pieces of wood, old nails, scraps of sacking—in short, -everything and anything which might some day have a possible use for -some project yet unborn. The sum total, hidden under your mattress, was -technically known as “cag.” A leather strap, _with a buckle_, was -“valuable cag.” So Cochrane and Lloyd tugged at it. It came up—with a -revolver and holster attached! They smuggled their find to bed under the -nose of the unobservant sentry. We talked of the discovery in whispers, -and wondered what had happened to the unfortunate Armenian who had -buried it. - -A few days later the Pimple buttonholed me. - -“I want to ask something,” he said. “I go to Captain Mundey, and he -tells me to ask you.” - -“What is it, Moïse?” - -The little man glanced furtively up and down the lane, to make sure no -one was within earshot, and lowered his voice to a confidential whisper. - -“Can the Spirit find a buried treasure?” - -“That depends,” said I. - -“On what?” - -“On who buried it, and who wants it, and whether the man who buried it -is still alive; or, if he is dead, on whether he can communicate, or is -willing to communicate. The difficulty varies with the circumstances.” - -“I see,” said the Pimple. (This was very satisfactory, for I was hanged -if I myself saw!) - -“You want me to find this Armenian treasure?” I went on, risking the -“Armenian.” - -“You know about it?” the Pimple asked in surprise. “How did you know? -Did the Spook tell you?” - -“I have had several communications,” I said guardedly. “You’ve been -concentrating on the wrong places.” - -(I did not know whether Moïse had been digging or merely thinking about -digging. “Concentrating” covered both.) - -“We tried the Schoolhouse garden,” said the Pimple, “but did not find -it.” - -“Of course not,” said I. “Digging at random is like looking for a needle -in a haystack.” - -The Pimple was much struck by the phrase, and made a note of it in his -pocket-book, to practise it some days later on a choleric major who -wanted his parcel dug out in a hurry. Thus he acquired English—and -unpopularity! - -“You will grant me a séance?” he asked. - -“Oh yes! Let’s see! What’s the best day?” I pondered deeply. “How’s the -moon, Moïse?” - -“Moon?” said Moïse. “What has the moon to do?” - -“Do you want the best results?” I asked. - -“Certainly.” - -“Then how’s the moon?” (He told me.) “Ah! Then three days hence will be -best. We’ll have a séance on the evening of the 10th September in the -Hospital House. You must get me permission to sleep there for the -night.” - -It was directly contrary to the rules of the camp that a prisoner should -be absent from his own house after dark. The readiness with which Moïse -granted the privilege showed he had nothing to fear from the Commandant. - -The interview had been most satisfactory. I had learned, first, that the -Turks believed that there was a treasure; second, that two or more of -our captors had already been looking for it (Moïse had said “_WE_ tried -the Schoolhouse garden”); and third, that one of the group was probably -the Commandant, Kiazim Bey himself. No doubt I could have learned all -these facts quite easily by direct questioning. But the whole art of -mediumship is to gather information by indirect methods, in order that, -at a later stage, it may be reproduced by the Spook as an original -utterance from the unknown. The only memory of our conversation Moïse -was likely to carry away with him was the “fact” that the success of a -séance depends on the state of the moon. - -My plans had been formed during our interview. This was obviously what I -had waited for so long—an opportunity of attaining my object of properly -intriguing the Turk. A treasure-hunt has a glamour of its own in the -most material surroundings. A treasure-hunt under the guidance of a -Spook ought to be a stunt beyond price. It only remained to prove that -the Spook _could_ find things and the Turk would be on the string. I -determined, if necessary, to ground-bait with my own poor little store -of gold and let the Pimple acquire a taste for the game of -treasure-hunting by finding it. The advantage of this method would be -that the rest of the camp would remain as much in the dark as to the -origin of the gold as the Pimple, and I saw the prospect of much fun by -organizing digging parties throughout the autumn. Had gold been at all -plentiful this would undoubtedly have been the proper course to pursue. -But it was a rare commodity, and I was reluctant to part with my small -stock without first trying a cheaper method. - -I therefore waylaid Cochrane. - -“I hear,” said I, “that you dug up a revolver the other day. Was it a -good one?” - -“It was a Smith and Wesson 450,” said Cochrane, “and we got some -ammunition with it. But the weapon’s quite unserviceable—the action has -rusted to pieces.” - -“Would you mind very much parting with it?” I asked. - -“It’s of no value,” said Cochrane; “but it isn’t mine, it’s Lloyd’s. -What do you want with it?” - -I told him. - -“Bones, you old villain,” he laughed, “you’ll get yourself hanged yet if -you are not careful.” That was an uncomfortably correct prophecy! I -remembered it six months later when Hill and I were cut down just in -time to save our worthless lives. But I am anticipating. - -“I’ll take the risk,” I said, “if you’ll get me the gun.” - -Half an hour later the revolver, its holster, and some dozen rounds of -rust-eaten ammunition were in my possession. It had been cleaned, and -some of the rust removed. We re-rusted it with sulphuric, re-muddied it, -and next morning re-buried it. The spot chosen was not that where it had -been found. The garden was terraced in six-foot drops, and a wall of -uncemented stones upheld each terrace. By removing a few stones from the -face of the wall, scooping out a cavity in the earth beyond and -thrusting in the revolver and ammunition, Cochrane and I succeeded in -planting the revolver in such a way that the ground _above_ it was quite -undisturbed. The only difficulty we might have to overcome was to -explain the freshness of the mud on the holster; for the surrounding -ground was bone dry. - -The position now became somewhat delicate. A number of officers in the -camp knew that Cochrane had discovered a revolver. Several of them had -seen it. If the Spook rediscovered it, somebody was sure to recognize it -and the fat would be in the fire. Suspicion would be cast on all our -spiritualistic performances, and the edifice of credulity so painfully -built up in the camp might easily come crashing to earth. This would -have been disastrous, for my principal asset in converting the Turk was -the childlike belief of many of my fellow-prisoners in the genuineness -of our séances. The general atmosphere of faith had an effect on the -Pimple which no amount of concerted lying could have achieved. It was -essential to retain the atmosphere as far as possible, and to bring off -the coup against the Pimple without affecting the belief in spiritualism -of the camp as a whole. - -The best plan was obviously to take the camp, up to a certain point, -into my confidence. I announced that the Pimple was about to be -subjected to a practical joke. My plan was not to have a séance at all, -but to pretend to the Turks we had held one, and had received -instructions from the Spook as to where to dig. - -But on the morning of the 10th, the Pimple announced his intention of -being present at the sitting. This involved our bringing out the answers -on the spook-board, and placed a fresh difficulty in my way. It was -obvious that if I brought out the answers by my usual methods, the -audience would at once realize that if I could fake thus for the Turks, -I could also fake for them! There must therefore be some difference from -our ordinary procedure which the audience could easily detect for -themselves. - -The affair was arranged very simply, to the satisfaction of all -concerned. As between myself and the audience, we agreed that wherever -the Turk happened to sit I was to take the place immediately on his -right. I could then so shade my face from him with my left hand that he -could not see whether or not my eyes were open. With my eyes open, I -explained to my little school of True Believers,[9] I could push the -glass to the answers required. The part of the audience on my right -would see the deception. I begged them to give no sign. - -Such was the public plan. But the private plan was quite different. I -wanted to be free to watch the Interpreter, and to be ready for -emergencies. If my attention was to be concentrated on spelling out the -correct answers I could not do this efficiently. So far as my -fellow-prisoners were concerned, I would be the centre of interest. They -knew beforehand the thing was to be faked by me, and they would -naturally watch me closely to see how the fake could be carried out. -Nightingale and I talked the matter over. It was decided that _he_ -should be responsible for pushing the glass to the correct letters. This -would leave me free to act my double part so as to appear genuine to the -Pimple and fraudulent to the rest of the audience, without being -bothered with what the glass was doing on the board. Further, in order -fully to occupy the Pimple’s attention, we decided to employ him as a -recorder and keep him so busy writing down letters that he would not -have any time to spare for watching the mediums. - -The result was most gratifying. Nobody for one moment suspected -Nightingale. Everybody, except the Pimple, “detected” me pushing the -glass. They came up to me afterwards, congratulated me on my excellent -imitation of a séance, and remarked “Of course it was quite easy to see -you were pushing the glass. We could see you were watching the board.” -Surely there were no further fields to conquer! The True Believers had -first been convinced that I wasn’t pushing the glass when I was, and now -they were equally convinced that I was pushing the glass when I wasn’t! - -The Spook fixed the 12th of September for the treasure-hunt. At 2 p.m. -on that day, by the Spook’s orders, Mundey (who wanted to share in the -joke) waited with me outside the woodshed by the Majors’ house. The -Pimple came fussing up. - -“Good morning, Mundey! Morning, Jones! You are ready?” - -“Yes,” we answered. - -“Let me see.” Moïse consulted his record of the séance. “The shavings -for fire? The cord to bind your hands? The cloaks? The ink and saucer?” -he ticked off each item as we produced them. - -“What about your companion, Moïse?” Mundey asked. “The Spook said there -must be two of you.” - -“Soon the Cook will be here,” the Pimple said, “and like myself he is -carrying hidden steel. Feel! A bayonet”—he thrust forward a stiff leg. -Inside the trouser-leg, according to the Spook’s instructions, he was -wearing a naked bayonet which reached well below the knee. - -I was a little disappointed that the Commandant’s Cook should be the -fourth, for I had hoped the Spook’s orders might bring out Kiazim Bey -himself. But the Cook was no ordinary cook—he was the confidant as well -as the orderly of our Commandant, was practically Second in Command of -the camp, and was altogether as big a rascal as ever wore baggy -trousers. The Pimple’s selection of this man to accompany us instead of -one of the regular sentries was another proof that the Commandant was in -the know. - -“Do you think there will be danger?” Moïse asked. - -Mundey, with a fine air of martyrdom, shrugged his shoulders. “One never -knows in these things,” he said carelessly, “but if we follow -instructions it should be all right.” - -“Oh, I hope so,” said the Pimple. “Why do you think the Spook says, ‘the -Treasure is by Arms Guarded’? Why does he insist that first we find the -arms? Why not lead us straight to the treasure?” - -“Don’t be impatient,” said Mundey severely; “for all you know the -treasure may be mined, and if we go digging it up without disconnecting -the mine we would all go up together. Our job is to obey the Spook’s -instructions, not to argue about them.” - -“Do you think we shall find these arms which are guarding our treasure?” -Moïse asked. - -“I think so,” Mundey said. “You have done this sort of thing before, -haven’t you, Bones?” - -“Oh yes,” I answered. - -The Cook arrived, walking gingerly on account of the bayonet. He spoke -rapidly in Turkish to the Pimple, who turned to us and translated. - -“The Cook wants to know what are we to do if the Spook leads to a -harem?” - -Mundey and I had the utmost difficulty in keeping our faces straight—we -had not thought of such an enterprise. - -“We can stop outside, I suppose,” said Mundey. - -The Pimple translated to the Cook, who burst into a torrent of agitated -Turkish. - -“He is saying,” Pimple translated, “you will be entranced and the Spook -says on no account must you be touched or spoken to. How then are we to -stop you if you are making to go into the women’s quarters?” - -“Probably only one of us will be entranced,” I said, “and if that is me -you tell Mundey to stop me. You know how, don’t you, Mundey?” - -Mundey rose to the occasion. “Certainly,” he said. “I can use the Red -Karen teletantic thought transmission.” - -“What is that?” asked the Pimple. - -“Never you mind,” said I. “That’s a secret process I taught Mundey in -Burma. Come on! Let’s get ready.” I stretched out my hands and the Cook -bound them together with the cord we had brought for the purpose. Then -he did the same for Mundey. These little things all count in instilling -credulity. - -“Now what to do?” asked the Pimple. - -“Hush!” said Mundey. “Look at Jones! He’s going off! Don’t speak—for -Heaven’s sake don’t speak to him.” - -I went gradually off into a “trance.” It was hard acting in broad -daylight, with the two eager treasure-hunters watching at close range. -The fact that I had never seen anybody go off into a trance did not make -it any easier. But I had big plans at stake. - -At last, speaking in a slow, sleepy voice, I addressed an invisible -person behind the Interpreter, looking through him as if he were not -there. “What did you say?” I asked. - -The Pimple twirled round, but of course saw nothing. - -“What?” I repeated. “I—can’t—hear.” - -“To whom is he speaking?” asked Moïse. “There is nothing I see! Can you -see?” - -“Hush—hush! For any sake be quiet!” Mundey was acting splendidly. - -“South!” I shouted, and started off at a great pace down the lane. -“South! South!” - -Mundey kept step with me. The Pimple and the Cook trotted (uncomfortably -because of the bayonets) close behind us. With eyes fixed on the -“spirit” I rushed past the astonished sentry, who obeyed a signal from -Moïse and made no effort to stop me. As I went I called to the spirit to -have mercy on us poor mortals, and not to go so fast. Then, as my breath -failed, I came to a stop and sat down in the cabbage-patch outside the -camp. - -“What has happened? Where am I?” I looked up at Moïse with a dazed -expression. - -“You cannot see it now?” Moïse asked in great agitation. “It is not -quite gone away, surely?” - -“Quick!” said Mundey. “The Ink Pool! Before it goes! Hurry up, Moïse!” - -The Interpreter produced the bottle of ink and saucer which the Spook -had ordered him to bring. We poured the ink into the saucer, and Mundey -and I stared fixedly into it. - -“Ah!” said Mundey. - -“Ah!” said I. - -“What is it?” asked the Pimple, peering over our shoulders into the ink -pool. We paid no attention to him. - -“Can you see which way it is pointing?” Mundey asked. - -“Yes,” said I. “West! Come on!” Jumping to our feet, Mundey and I -started westwards up the hill as fast as we could go. Our -bayonet-hobbled friends had the utmost difficulty in keeping up with us. -We led them a pretty dance before we pulled up at the spot where the -revolver was buried. - -Here I asked for instructions from the invisible Spook. I was once more -in a trance—a fact to which Mundey judiciously drew the Pimple’s -attention. - -“Which test do you suggest?” I asked. - -The Spook’s reply was audible only to myself. I turned on the Pimple. - -“Quick!” I said. “Do what he says, or we’ll be too late!” - -“And what does he say?” the Pimple asked. - -“He wants the test of the Head-hunting Waas,” I explained excitedly. -“Quick, man! Quick!” - -“I do not understand.” The unhappy Pimple wrung his hands. - -“The fire! The shavings! Quick, you idiot!” I raved. (It was great fun -being able to abuse our captors without fear of punishment.) - -With trembling fingers the Pimple undid the bundle of shavings. I -snatched it from him, deposited it directly over where the revolver lay, -and put a match to it. Then standing over the blaze, with arms -outstretched towards the heavens, I recited— - - “Tra bo dŵr y môr yn hallt, - A thra bo ’ngwallt yn tyfu, - A thra bo calon dan fy mron - Mi fydda ’n fyddlon iti,” - -etc., etc., and so on. Celtic scholars will recognize a popular Welsh -love lyric. In Yozgad it passed muster, very well, as the Incantation of -the Head-hunting Waas. The Pimple and the Cook listened open-mouthed. -Even Mundey was impressed. - -“Something is here,” I called. “I feel it. Get a pick!” - -Moïse turned to the Cook in great excitement and translated. Opposite -us, at the foot of the little garden, was a high wall. The Cook was over -it in a flash, like a monkey gone mad, and a moment later we could see -him racing up the road towards the Commandant’s office to get the -necessary implements for digging. - -I glanced round and saw Corbould-Warren’s grinning face watching from -behind a neighbouring wall. Close to him was a little crowd of my -fellow-prisoners, all more or less helpless with suppressed laughter. -The impulse to laugh along with them was almost irresistible. To save -myself from doing so I sat down heavily, in a semi-collapse, against -Tony’s hen-house, and buried my face in my arms. Mundey ministered nobly -to me until the Cook reappeared with the pick. I began to dig. - -I calculated the revolver ought to be about fifteen inches underground. -When the hole was a foot deep I stopped, and again appeared to listen to -the invisible Spook. - -“I forgot,” I said apologetically, “I am sorry.” Then, turning to Moïse, -“We’ve forgotten the fourth element, Moïse! Hurry up! Get it!” - -“Fourth element! I do not understand.” - -“Oh, you ass!” I shouted. “We’ve had Air and Earth and Fire. We want the -other one.” - -“But _what_ is it?” Moïse wailed. - -“Water!” said Mundey. “Quick—a bucket of water!” - -Moïse rushed into the house and brought out a pail of water. I took it -from him and poured it into the hole. As the last drops soaked into the -dry earth I breathed more freely. Any fresh mud or dampness on the -revolver due to the re-muddying process would now be properly accounted -for. I resumed the digging. A moment later the butt of the revolver came -to light. With a wild yell I pointed at it, staggered, and “threw a -faint.” It was a good faint—rather too good—not only did I cut my -forehead open on a stone, but one of our own British orderlies who was -not “in the know” ran out with a can of water and drenched me -thoroughly. I was then carried by orderlies into the house and laid on -my own bed. - -Outside, the comedy was in full swing. When the revolver was found, -neither the Cook nor the Interpreter worried for a moment about my -condition. For all they cared I might have been dead. Without a glance -in my direction, they let me lie where I had fallen, and seizing pick -and shovel, began to dig like furies. If “the Treasure was by Arms -guarded” surely it must be somewhere near those arms! They dug and they -dug. They tore away the terrace wall. They made a hole big enough to -hide a mule. The Sage, who lived in a room just above the rapidly -growing crater, was roused from his meditations. He sallied forth and -cross-examined Mundey. - -“What—aw—have we here?” he asked. “What—aw—what nonsense is this?” - -“Shut up, Sage,” said Mundey, fearful that the Pimple would overhear. - -“But—ah—what is the—aw—object of this excavation?” - -“_Do_ be quiet!” Mundey begged. - -“You—aw—you appear to me to be—ah—bent on uprooting the garden! What are -you—aw——” - -In despair Mundey imitated my procedure and fainted too! The grinning -orderlies helped him up to my room. The Sage continued to look on, in -mute astonishment. Luckily the Pimple was too excited to have eyes for -anything but the treasure. - -A few minutes later Stace, who shared the Sage’s room, came up to me. - -“For any sake, Bones, go out and stop the Cook digging.” - -“Has he dug much?” I asked. - -“Much?” said Stace. “He has torn up the garden by the roots! If you -don’t stop him he’ll have the house down.” - -“Right-o, Staggers. I’ll stop him!” - -Stace went off, leaving me to think out the next move. A few minutes -later, I went downstairs, supporting myself by the banisters, with every -appearance of weakness. Moïse and the Cook, bathed in perspiration and -grime from their exertions, met me at the foot. I leant feebly against -the wall beside them. - -“Are you better?” asked Moïse. - -“What happened?” I asked. “How did I get back to my room? Did we find -anything?” - -The Pimple patted me affectionately on the shoulder. “Magnificent!” he -said. “You have been in a trance. You found the revolver.” - -“No!” I exclaimed. “Where?” - -They led me to the hole. “Bless my soul!” I said. “Did I dig that?” - -“Not all,” said the Pimple. “When you found the revolver you fainted. -Then the Cook and I, we digged the ground, but found nothing.” - -“What?” I said. “_You_ dug?” - -“Yes.” - -“Well, you’ve spoiled everything then! The Spook ordered you to do -nothing without instructions from me.” - -“You think the Spirit will be angered?” - -“_Think!_ Tell me, did you find anything more?” - -“No,” said the Pimple. - -“Well, there you are!” said I. - -The Pimple translated into Turkish for the Cook’s benefit. For some -minutes they talked together eagerly. Then the Cook seized my hand, -pressed it to his ragged bosom, and became very eloquent. - -“He is thanking you,” said Moïse. “He says you are most wonderful of -mediums. You will know how the Spirit may be appeased. We shall dig no -more without orders.” - - - - - CHAPTER VII - - OF THE CALOMEL MANIFESTATION AND HOW KIAZIM FELL - INTO THE NET - - -The camp as a whole had enjoyed the treasure-hunt. Mundey and I were -congratulated on having pulled off a good practical joke against the -Turk. On the other hand, there were a few who disapproved of what we had -done. They held that discovery of the fraud would anger the Turk, not -only against the perpetrators, but against the whole camp. Our success, -however, deprived their criticism of any force, and they confined -themselves to a warning that it was foolish to run such risks without an -object. - -Nobody guessed that behind my foolery there was an object, and a very -serious one. _It was the first real step in a considered plan of -escape._ - -Escape from any prison camp in Turkey was difficult. From Yozgad it was -regarded as practically impossible. Here the Turks sent Cochrane, Price, -and Stoker, who had made such a gallant but unsuccessful attempt to get -away from Afion Kara Hissar in 1916; and here, later on, came the -Kastamouni Incorrigibles—some forty officers who had refused to give -their parole. Yozgad was the punishment camp of Turkey. - -Escape was not a question of defeating the sentries. The “Gamekeepers” -who preserved our numbers intact were nearly all old men, and were very -far from being wide awake. On fine days they snoozed at their posts; if -it was cold, or wet, or dark they snuggled in their sentry-boxes. As -several officers proved by experiment, it was no difficult matter to get -out of the camp and back again without detection. - -[Illustration: “ON FINE DAYS THEY SNOOZED AT THEIR POSTS”—A “GAMEKEEPER” -ON GUARD IN YOZGAD] - -The real sentries were the 350 miles of mountain, rock and desert that -lay between us and freedom in every direction. Such a journey under the -most favourable conditions is something of an ordeal. I would not like -to have to walk it by daylight, in peace-time, buying food at villages -as I went. Consider that for the runaway the ground would have to be -covered at night, that food for the whole distance would have to be -carried, and that the country was infested with brigands who stripped -travellers even within gunshot of our camp; add to this that we knew -nothing of the language or customs of the people and had no maps. It is -not difficult to understand why we were slow to take advantage of our -sleeping sentries.[10] - -There was another factor that prevented men from making the attempt. It -was generally believed that the escape of one or more officers from our -camp would result in a “strafe” for those who remained behind. We feared -that such small privileges as we had won would be taken away from us—the -weekly walk, the right to visit one another’s houses in the daytime, and -access to the tiny gardens and the lane (it was only 70 yards long) for -exercise. We would revert to the original unbearable conditions, when we -had been packed like sardines in our rooms, day and night, and our -exercise limited to Swedish drill in the 6ft. by 3ft. space allotted for -each man’s sleeping accommodation. A renewal of the old conditions of -confinement might—probably would—mean the death of several of us. Such, -we believed, would be the probable consequences of escape.[11] - -The belief acted in two ways in preventing escapes. Some men who would -otherwise have made the attempt decided it was not fair to their -comrades in distress to do so. Others considered themselves justified, -in the interest of the camp as a whole, in stopping any man who wanted -to try. And the majority—a large majority—of the camp held they were -right. The general view was that as success for the escaper was most -improbable, and trouble for the rest of us most certain, nobody ought to -make the attempt. For we knew what “trouble” meant in Turkey. Most of -the prisoners in Yozgad were from Kut-el-Amara. We had starved there, -before our surrender: we had struggled, still starving, across the 500 -miles of desert to railhead. We had seen men die from neglect and want. -Many of us had been perilously near such a death ourselves. We had felt -the grip of the Turk and knew what he could do. Misery, neglect, -starvation and imprisonment had combined to foster in us a very close -regard for our own interests. We were individualists, almost to a man. -So we clung, as a drowning man clings to an oar, to the few alleviations -that made existence in Yozgad possible, and we resented anything which -might endanger those privileges. - -It is easy enough for the armchair critic to say it is a man’s duty to -his country to escape if he can. As a general maxim we might have -accepted that. The tragedy in Yozgad was that his duty to his country -came into conflict with his duty to his fellow-prisoners. I thought at -the time, and I still think, that we allowed the penny near our eye to -shut out the world. But it was only a few irresponsibles like -Winfield-Smith who shared my view that the question of whether a man -should try or not should be left to the individual to decide, and if he -decided to go the rest of us ought to help him, and face the subsequent -music as cheerfully as might be. And I must confess, in fairness to the -officers who undertook the unpleasant task of stopping Hill when he was -ready to escape in June 1917, that though in principle I disapproved of -their action, in fact I was exceedingly glad, for my own sake, that he -did not go. - -I suppose every one of us spent many hours weighing his own chances of -escape. For myself I knew I had not the physical stamina considered -necessary for the journey. If the camp stopped a man like Hill, they -would be ten times more eager to stop me. Secrecy was therefore -essential. Believing, as I did, that the War might continue for several -years, I had made up my mind in 1917 to make the attempt and trust to -luck more than to skill or strength to carry me through. But because of -the feebleness of my chance, and the extreme probability that my -comrades would not have the consolation of my success in their -suffering, it behoved me more than anyone else to seek for some way of -escape which would not implicate my fellows, and not to resort to a -direct bolt until it was clear that all other possibilities had been -exhausted. - -My plan was to make the Turkish authorities at Yozgad my unconscious -accomplices. _I intended to implicate the highest Turkish authority in -the place in my escape, to obtain clear and convincing proof that he was -implicated, and to leave that proof in the hands of my fellow-prisoners -before I disappeared._ It would then be clearly to the Commandant’s -interest to conceal the fact of my escape from the authorities at -Constantinople (he could do so by reporting my death); or, if -concealment were impossible, he would not dare to visit his wrath upon -the camp, as they could retaliate by reporting his complicity to his -official superiors. By these means, I hoped, not only would my -fellow-prisoners retain their privileges, but by judicious threatening -they might even acquire more. - -The most obvious way to accomplish my object was by bribery, and it was -of bribery that I first thought. The difficulties were twofold: first, -there were no means of getting money in sufficient quantity; second, -supposing I got the money together, I could see no method by which the -camp could satisfy the Constantinople authorities that it had gone into -the pocket of the Commandant. The Turk takes bribes, readily enough, but -he is exceedingly careful how he takes them, and he covers up his tracks -with Oriental cunning. If I could not provide the camp with proof of the -Commandant’s guilt, I might as well save my money and bolt without -bribing him. - -I was trying to convince myself that these difficulties ought not to be -insuperable when the Interpreter first evinced an interest in spooking, -and the Commandant’s belief in the supernatural was proved by his -official notice of May 6th (see p. 51). From that moment I discarded all -thought of bribery. I was filled with the growing hope that my door to -freedom lay through the Ouija. And first and foremost in pursuance of my -plan, I aimed at inveigling the Commandant into the spiritualistic -circle and making him the instrument of my escape. The news that there -existed a buried treasure which the Turks were seeking gave me an idea -of how to do it. - -To my fellow-prisoners the farcical hunt for the revolver had appeared a -complete success. To me it was a bitter failure. I felt that if the -Spook’s achievement in finding the weapon did not bring out the -Commandant, nothing would. But day followed day, and he made no sign. A -considerable experience of the Eastern mind made it easy enough for me -to guess the reason for his reticence. Like the Oriental he was, he -wished above all things to avoid committing himself. He clearly intended -to work entirely through his two subordinates, the Interpreter and the -Cook. If anything went wrong, he could not be implicated. If everything -went right, and the treasure were discovered, he could use his official -position to seize the lion’s share. It was clear that there would be a -long struggle before I could get into direct touch with the Commandant. -I decided that the Pimple must learn for himself that he could get “no -forrarder” with the Spook until he put all his cards on the table. It -was to be a battle of patience, and knowing something of Oriental -patience, I almost despaired. - -Time and again after the revolver incident the Pimple attended séances. -To his amazement and regret he found the attitude of the Spook had -undergone a complete change: for a long time nothing but abuse of the -Turks emanated from the board. The Spook was very angry with them for -exceeding instructions and continuing to dig after the revolver had been -found. Not one word would It say about the treasure. The Pimple -apologized to the board abjectly, humbly, profusely. It made no -difference. The Spook turned a deaf ear to all the little man’s pleas -for forgiveness. Its only concession was to produce a photograph of the -owner of the treasure on a piece of gaslight paper which the Pimple -obtained in the bazaar and held to his own forehead at a séance. With -commendable perseverance the Pimple kept up his appeals for two months. -Then at last he delivered himself into my hands. He lost his temper with -the Spook. - -“Always you are cursing and threatening,” he said to the glass, “but you -never do anything. Can you manifest upon me?” - -“To-night,” answered the glass, “you shall die!” - -“No! Please, no! Nothing serious, please! I beg your pardon! Please take -my cap off, or my gloves! I only wanted you to move something!” - -“Very good,” said the Spook, “I _shall_ move something. For this -occasion I pardon. I shall not kill. But to-morrow morning you shall -suffer. I shall manifest upon you.” The Spook then went into details of -what would happen to the Pimple to-morrow morning. - -Two hours later we gathered in my room, as usual, to discuss the séance, -and as usual the Pimple drank cocoa—our cocoa—with infinite relish. He -enjoyed it very much that night, because it was extra sweet. That was to -cover any possible flavour from the six grains of calomel I had slipped -into his cup! - -I met him again on the afternoon of the following day. He looked pale. - -“Well, Moïse,” I said, “did the Spook fulfil his promise?” - -Moïse gave me all the gruesome details in an awed tone. “And it was no -use sending for the doctor,” he added, “because I knew it was all -supernatural. I am most thankful it is all over.” - -I congratulated him on being alive. - -“I shall press no more for the treasure,” said he; “this lesson is for -me sufficient.” - -“Good,” said I. - -It was more than good. It was excellent. His subordinate having failed, -surely the Commandant would now come forward. I waited hopefully, a -week, a fortnight, a month. But Kiazim Bey never put in an appearance. I -thought I was beaten and all but gave up hope. So far as was possible, I -backed out of spooking. There seemed no alternative to the direct bolt. -I made my plans to go on skis at the end of February, or beginning of -March. I warned my room-mates, in confidence, that I might disappear, -sent a cryptogram to my father, and began to train. But early in January -I met with an accident while practising. A bone in my knee was injured -in such a way as to put escape out of the question for me till well on -in the spring. I sold my skis to Colbeck and turned back to my first -love. - -Perhaps the pain in my knee acted as a counter-irritant to my sluggish -wits. A few days after the accident the necessary brain-wave arrived. -The Pimple was in the lane at the time. I hobbled out to him through the -snow. We chatted, and our chat came round to the old subject—the -Spook—quite naturally. - -“This rage of the Spirit’s—it cannot be explained,” the Pimple said. - -“No,” I replied, “I have only seen one previous instance where the Spook -behaved so badly for so long. And there the circumstances were -different.” - -“What were the circumstances?” - -“It was soon after my adventure with the Head-hunting Waas,” I said, -“about which I shall tell you some day.” - -The Pimple smiled knowingly. “I know it,” he said; “months ago Captain -Freeland told me in confidence.” - -“_Did_ he? Well, it got about that I had learned occultism in captivity. -A lady asked me to consult the Spirit about a gold watch she had lost.” - -“Did you find it?” the Pimple asked. - -“Oh yes. Quite easily. Then several other people came who had lost other -things. The Spook found them all. Then came a man who asked me to find a -diamond necklace for a friend of his, whose name he would not give. I -tried, and the Spook became abusive—for three months it abused us. -Finally a fakir told me the reason. The Spook was angry because the -sitter kept back the name of the lady who wanted the necklace. It wanted -our full confidence and full faith.” - -[Illustration: “I MADE MY PLANS TO GO ON SKIS AND BEGAN TO TRAIN”] - -“But _we_ have full faith,” said the Pimple, “yet it abuses us.” - -“Of course we have,” I agreed. “The present case is quite different, for -we are not keeping back anything from the Spook or hiding anybody’s -interest in the search. You see, in the affair of the diamond necklace -the lady who wanted it was in a very high social position, and she was -afraid of being laughed at for consulting the Spook, so she remained in -the background. That made the Spook angry.” - -“I see,” said Moïse. “And did you find the necklace in the end?” - -“Oh yes. Once the lady learned the reason, she allowed her name to be -mentioned, and we found it at once.” - -“I see,” said the Pimple. “Who was the lady?” - -“I don’t mind telling you in confidence,” I replied; “it was Princess -Blavatsky.” - -“OH!” said the Pimple. - -Then I hobbled back to my room to be abused by dear old Uncle and Pa for -playing the fool with my knee, and to await results. - -On January 30th the result came. Our Mess were sitting down to the -regulation lunch of wheat “pillao” and duff when a sentry appeared and -handed me a note demanding my presence at the office. Thinking there -might be a parcel awaiting me, I nodded and indicated by signs (for in -those days we knew no Turkish) that I would come as soon as lunch was -over. The man got excited. - -“_Shindi!_” (now), “_Shindi!_” he said. “Commandant! Commandant!” - -My heart seemed to stand still. The time had come. Hickman looked at me -anxiously. - -“What’s up, Bones?” he asked. “Are you ill? You’ve gone white.” - -“It’s my knee,” I said. “It got a twist just now.” - -“_Chabook! Gel!_ Commandant! Commandant!” repeated the sentry. - -“It—aw—seems the Commandant wants you,” the voice of the Sage explained -from the next table. - -The Sage was wrong, as usual. It was I who wanted the Commandant. But I -let it pass and went off with the anxious sentry. - -In the office Kiazim Bey returned my salute with dignity and politeness. -Then he shook hands with me and placed me in a seat on one side of the -table. He sat opposite. The Interpreter stood at attention by his side. - -This was my first introduction to the Commandant. During my nineteen -months of prison life in Yozgad I had seen him only rarely, and never -spoken to him. Small fry like Second Lieutenants had small chance of -getting to know the man who refused interviews with our most senior -Colonels and consistently kept aloof from us all. As he spoke to the -Interpreter I studied him with interest. He was a man of about fifty -years of age, a little above middle height, well dressed in a uniform -surtout of pearly grey. Except for a slight forward stoop of the head -when he walked, he carried himself well. His movements were slow and -deliberately dignified; his voice low, soft, and not unpleasing. The -kalpak which he wore indoors and out alike covered a well-shaped head. -His hair, at the temples, was silver-white, and an iron-grey moustache -hid a weak but cruel mouth. His features were well-formed, but curiously -expressionless. I believe that no prisoner in Yozgad, except Hill and -myself, ever saw him laugh. His complexion was of an extraordinary -pallor, due partly to much illness, and partly to his hothouse existence -indoors; for like most well-to-do Turks, he rarely took any exercise. -And he had the most astonishing pair of eyes it has ever been my fortune -to look into; deep-set, wonderfully large and lustrous, and of a strange -deep brown colour that merged imperceptibly into the black of the pupil. -They were the eyes of a mystic or of a beautiful woman, as his hands -with their delicate taper fingers were those of an artist. He played -nervously with a pencil while he spoke to me through the Interpreter, -but never took his eyes from my face throughout the interview. He began -with Western abruptness, and plunged _in medias res_. - -“Before we go into any details,” he said, “I want your word of honour -not to communicate to anyone what I am now going to tell you.” - -“I will give it with pleasure, Commandant, on two conditions.” - -“What are they?” - -“First, that your proposals are in no way detrimental to my friends or -to my country.” - -“They are not,” said the Commandant. “I promise you that. What is your -second condition?” - -“That I don’t already know what you are going to tell me.” - -“It is impossible for you to know that,” he replied. “How can you know -what is in my mind?” - -I looked at him steadily, for perhaps half a minute, smiling a little. - -“It is impossible for you to know,” he repeated. - -“You forget, Commandant, or perhaps you do not know. I am a -thought-reader.” - -“Well?” - -The time had come to risk everything on a single throw. - -“Let me tell you, then,” I said. “You are going to ask me to find for -you a treasure, buried by a murdered Armenian of Yozgad. You want me to -do so by the aid of Spirits. And you are prepared to offer me a reward.” - -The Commandant leant back in his chair, in mute astonishment, staring at -me. - -“Am I correct?” I asked. - -He bowed, but did not speak. We sat for a little time in silence, he -toying again with his pencil, I endeavouring to look unconcerned, and -smiling. It was easy to smile, for the heart within me was leaping with -joy. - -“I am afraid,” he said at last, “that if our War Office learned that I -had entered into a compact with one of my prisoners, it would go ill -with me.” - -“There will be no compact, Commandant,” I said; “I have no need of -money. You mustn’t judge by this” (I touched my ragged coat and -laughed). “What I seek from the Spirits is not money. It is knowledge -and power. But I feel I owe you something. You have had me in your -power, as your prisoner, and have shown me no discourtesy. I am grateful -to you for what you have done for us, for the privileges you have -granted, and the kindnesses you have shown. And in return any small -skill I possess as a medium is wholly at your service. I shall do my -best to find this treasure for you, if you wish it.” - -“You are very kind,” said Kiazim Bey, and bowed. He was obviously -waiting for my parole. - -“As to secrecy,” I went on, “it is as essential for myself as for you. -If I find this money for you, the British War Office may quite well -shoot me on my release for giving funds to the enemy. And there is much -more danger of me being discovered than of you. It is very hard to keep -what happens at séances secret from the camp. For my own sake, of -course, I must do my best to keep it dark. I cannot promise more than -that.” - -“The camp does not matter much,” said the Commandant, “it is -Constantinople that is important.” - -“I cannot see, Commandant, that you are doing them any harm by seeking -to find this money by any means in your power. But that is neither here -nor there. Before this game is played out I shall require helpers—and at -least one other medium, and perhaps recorders, must get to know. I -promise that if you play the game with us, Constantinople will remain in -the dark so far as I am concerned. But I cannot promise that the camp -may not find out.” - -“The great danger will be if we find the treasure. Then you must be -silent as the grave,” he said. - -“That I can promise—it is to my interest as well as yours,” I replied. - -“Silent as the grave, then,” he said, holding out his hand. - -“As the grave,” I answered, and grasped it. - -I arranged with the Pimple for an early séance and rose to go. The -Commandant accompanied me to the door. I could see, more by his -expressive fingers than by his impassive face, that he was greatly -agitated. He put a detaining hand on my arm. - -“That was a most serious oath,” he said, looking at me strangely. I -tried to fathom the meaning behind the dark eyes, and think I succeeded. -It was the _vultus instantis tyranni_. - -“Serious as Death, Commandant,” I said. - -He half nodded, and returned my salute with slow gravity. - - * * * * * - -As I limped down the road in charge of my sentry I felt like singing -with happiness. The long weary period of waiting and groping in the dark -was past, and the first big step in my plan had been achieved. The -Commandant was hooked at last. There would be real excitement in -spooking now, with Liberty to greet success at one end, and Heaven knows -what to greet failure at the other. And best of all I would no longer be -alone. I had long since determined that as soon as the preliminary -difficulties had been overcome and a definite scheme became possible, I -would seek a companion. I had had enough of plotting and planning in -solitude during the last six months. I longed for companionship. - -There were probably many men in the camp who would have joined me had -they been asked, but there was only one who had given clear proof of his -deadly keenness to get away. This was Lieutenant C.W. Hill, an -Australian Flying Officer. I knew how he had trained for three months in -secret during the spring of 1917; how, while others slept, he had crept -down to the cellar and spent hours a night doing the goose-step with a -forty-pound pack of tiles on his back, and how time and again he had -tested the vigilance of the sentries. As has been already mentioned, his -plan was discovered by his fellow officers on the eve of his departure, -and he was stopped by them and placed on parole. The disappointment to -him had been almost unbearable. I guessed he was in the mood for -anything, and knew he would never “talk,” even if he refused my offer. - -He possessed other qualities which would make him an invaluable -collaborator for me. He had extraordinary skill with his hands. He was, -perhaps, the most thorough, and certainly the neatest carpenter in the -camp. (The camera which he secretly manufactured out of a Cadbury’s -cocoa-box was a masterpiece of ingenuity and patience.) He could find -his way by day or night with equal ease, and he could drive anything, -from a wheelbarrow to an aeroplane or a railway engine. Lastly, he was a -wonderful conjuror, the best amateur any of us had ever seen. - -I knew I was choosing well, but I little knew how well. Seeking a -practical man, with patience and determination and a close tongue, I was -to find in Hill all these beyond measure, and with them a great heart, -courage that no hardship could break, and loyalty like the sea. - -I went straight to him on my return from the Commandant, and led him -aside to a quiet spot where we could talk. I asked him what risks he was -willing to take to get away from Yozgad. He objected, at once, that he -was on parole, and that the feeling of the camp had to be considered. - -“I know,” I said, “but supposing I can get you off that parole, and fix -the camp safely, how far would you go?” - -Hill did not answer for a considerable time. - -“You’re not joking?” he said, at last. - -“No,” I replied. - -“Then I’ll tell you.” Hill spoke slowly and with emphasis. “To get away -from this damned country I’ll go the pool!—all out. I won’t be retaken -alive.” - -The man was terribly in earnest. I told him, briefly, how I had been -struggling for months to get a hold over the Turks, and how the -opportunity had come that very afternoon. I outlined my plans as far as -they had been framed. Hill listened eagerly, and in silence. - -“It amounts to this,” I concluded; “before we openly commit ourselves in -any way towards escape, we must obtain proof of the Commandant’s -complicity and place that proof in the hands of somebody in the camp. -That will make the camp safe. I guarantee you nothing but a share in -what will look like a practical joke against the Turk. It may go no -further than that. And I warn you that if the Turk finds us out, it may -be unpleasant. It must be one thing at a time. Once we have got the -proof it will be time enough to decide on our final line of action. We -will then have a choice of three things—escape, exchange, or -compassionate release. Finally, if you join up with me in this, you will -be handicapping yourself should we decide upon a straight run away. -Apart from my game leg, you could find plenty of fellows in camp who -could make rings round me across country.” - -We discussed the matter in and out, and finally agreed— - -(1) So far as we ourselves were concerned, to risk everything and go any -length to get away. - -(2) But on no account to implicate anyone else in the camp. We must so -arrange the escape that the Turks would have no excuse whatsoever for -strafing the others. - -(3) To take nobody into our confidence until it was absolutely -necessary. There were plenty of men we could trust not to give us away -intentionally. But any one of them might make a slip which would defeat -our plans. - -(4) When possible, to discuss every move beforehand, and to follow the -line agreed on. - -(5) If circumstances prevented such discussion, Hill was to follow my -lead blindly, without question or alteration. - -(6) If or when it came to a bolt across country, Hill was to take -charge. - -We shook hands on this bargain, and separated: it did not do to whisper -too long in corners at Yozgad. I returned to my Mess. - -“What did they want with you in the office?” Pa asked. - -“Just some money that’s expected,” I said. “Where’s my lunch?” - -“Oh, we gave it to Jeanie, hours ago. Thought you weren’t coming.” - -Jeanie was the house dog. It was a mess joke to threaten to give her my -food if I was late for meals. I hunted round till I found where Pa had -hidden my cold porridge. - -“You’re up to some devilment,” said Pa, watching me wolf the nasty -stuff. - -“Why?” - -“Because you’re grinning. You’re enjoying something, and I know it’s not -that grub.” - -I must be more careful! - - - - - CHAPTER VIII - - IN WHICH WE BECOME THOUGHT-READERS - - -Hill and I met daily in odd corners, to discuss our plans. The first -step was obviously to get Hill adopted as my fellow medium. It would -have been simple enough had Hill taken any prominent part in our -séances, but all his work had been behind the scenes. He had been -responsible for the manifestations, which was a task of an extremely -private nature, so the Pimple had no acquaintance with him as a -spookist. His sudden appearance as a medium might give rise to -suspicion. - -Fortunately there was a way out of the difficulty which, if properly -handled, would not only solve it but at the same time add to my -reputation as a student of the occult in all its branches. For a couple -of months past Hill and I had been secretly engaged on getting ready a -leg-pull for the benefit of the camp wiseacres. Hill knew from his study -of conjuring that stage telepathy was carried out by means of a code, -and we set to work by trial and error to manufacture a code for our -purposes. By the middle of January it was almost complete, and we had -become fairly expert in its use. With the object of bewildering the -camp, Hill then announced to a few believers in spooking that he had -learned telepathy in Australia and would give lessons to one pupil who -was really in earnest. As a preliminary to the lessons, he said, the -pupil must undergo a complete fast for 72 hours, to get himself into a -proper receptive state. Most of us had had enough of fasting during the -last few years, so his offer resulted, as we hoped it would, in only one -application for lessons in the telepathic art—that one being, of course, -from myself. For three days I took no meals in my Mess, and I made a -parade of the reason. To all appearances I was fasting religiously. -People told me I was getting weaker, and that the whole thing was -absurd. Which shows what the imagination can do; because three times a -day I fed sumptuously on tinned food (a luxury in Yozgad) and eggs, in -the privacy of Hill’s room. At the conclusion of the “fast” Hill -“tested” me, and announced to the few believers interested that I had -attained the necessary receptive state, and that he had accepted me as a -pupil. - -This was the position when the Commandant was hooked, and after some -discussion we saw how to use it to the greatest advantage. We did not -let the grass grow under our feet. As luck would have it, there was an -orderlies’ concert on the afternoon of February 2nd—just three days -after my interview with the Commandant. Hill was down on the programme -to give his usual conjuring entertainment. When his turn came to -perform, he made a carefully rehearsed speech from the platform. He said -(which was quite true) that he had injured his finger. He had found at -the last moment that his finger was too stiff to allow him to perform, -but rather than leave a gap in the programme he had decided to alter the -nature of his show at a moment’s notice. - -“As some of you know,” he said, “I once underwent a course of telepathy, -or thought-reading, in Australia. Within the last fortnight an officer -in this camp went through the painful preliminary of a three days’ fast, -and became my pupil. Possibly because of his previous knowledge of the -occult, he has progressed at a surprising rate; and, although he -considers himself far from ready for a public exhibition, he has very -kindly consented to help me in this predicament. (_Loud applause._) I -ask you to remember that he is only a beginner, and if our show turns -out a complete failure you will, I am sure, give him credit for his -attempt.” - -Heaven knows it takes little enough to interest an audience composed of -prisoners of war. During the intervals between our concerts and -pantomimes and dramatic performances the crowded camp was driven half -crazy by fellows “practising” for the next entertainment on landings and -in bedrooms, and all over the place. We knew every tune, and every -mistake it was possible to make in singing it, long before the “first” -(and usually only) “night.” And especially did we abhor to distraction -the clog-dance practices. Yet, when the great day came, we enjoyed every -turn, and shouted vociferous and most genuine applause. Everything was -appreciated, from the scenery painted on old Turkish newspapers to the -homemade instruments of the band. “As good as the Empire,” or “Drury -Lane can’t beat that,” we would say. - -The camp knew nothing of the long hours Hill and I had spent together -asking and answering such innocent sounding code questions as, “Quickly! -What have I here?” “Tell me what this is?” “Now, do you know what this -article is?” and so on. It was something new for them to get an -apparently unrehearsed show. The fact that the audience contained a -number of converts to spiritualism assisted us greatly in obtaining the -necessary atmosphere of credulous wonder. Hill walked through the -audience, asking me (blind-folded on the platform and “in a -semi-hypnotic state”) to name the various articles handed to him, to -quote the numbers on banknotes, to read the time on watches, to identify -persons touched. Our failures were few enough to be negligible—not more -than half a dozen in all—and our successes were numerous, and sometimes -(as when Slim Jim produced a stump of a candle from the “cag” in his -pockets) startling. Naturally, in the end, we were “as good as the -Zanzigs,” and so on. A few suspected a code, and said so, but were -utterly in the dark as to how such a code could be arranged.[12] Others -were simply bewildered. And still others, and among them none more -ardently than the Pimple, professed themselves entirely satisfied that -here at last was genuine telepathy and nothing less. We learned -afterwards that the Pimple left the concert before its close to inform -the Commandant of the supernatural marvels he had witnessed. - -On the evening of the same day (February 2nd, 1918), the Pimple came -round for his séance. He asked that it should be as private as possible. -It was therefore arranged that only Mundey and Edmonds should be present -in addition to myself and the Pimple. There was, of course, no mention -of Hill. - -The séance began in the usual manner. After a few questions and answers, -the Pimple asked and obtained permission from the Spook to read out a -written statement. It was as follows[13]— - -“There is a treasure in the Schoolhouse. A man came from Damascus and -related to an acquaintance of mine the following facts: (i) Before the -Armenians were driven out of Yozgad the wife of the owner of this -Schoolhouse with a little boy and one or two other relations went at -night to the garden of the Schoolhouse and dug out a hole and buried -about £18,000. He is not certain of the amount. There were jewels. A few -days after, I think, they were all ‘sent away.’ (ii) This man, hearing -this news, escaped from Damascus, where he was a soldier, came here, and -told this to my acquaintance, but as he did not know exactly the place -his information was of little value. (iii) If what this man says is -true, will you kindly tell me the place? I make the following -propositions to the three persons here to-night— - - (_a_) I promise to give each of them 10% of all the money and - valuables if they accept these propositions; - - (_b_) Or I offer 30% as they choose, with certain restrictions as to - the keeping of the money for the safety of all until the war - ends.” - -It was needless to ask why he applied to the Spook for information -instead of to the woman who had buried the treasure. She was dead—long -since—very probably tortured to death in a vain effort to get her to -reveal the whereabouts of her wealth. For the late occupants of the -Schoolhouse had been wealthy people, and after they were “sent away” (we -all knew what that meant) nothing had been found. Behind the bald, -cold-blooded statement which the Pimple read out there lay a great -tragedy, the tragedy of the Armenians of Yozgad. The butchery had taken -place in a valley some dozen miles outside the town. Amongst our -sentries were men who had slain men, women, and children till their arms -were too tired to strike. They boasted of it amongst themselves. And -yet, in many ways, they were pleasant fellows enough. - -The mentality of the Turk is truly surprising. Supposing I had the -supernatural power which the Interpreter and Commandant thought I -possessed, was it likely that I, presumably a Christian and avowedly an -enemy, would be ready to help them to the property of fellow Christians -whom the Turks had most foully murdered? Yet they had put the proposal -to me without a hint of shame. Englishmen are often upbraided with their -inability to understand the Oriental. But sometimes it is the Oriental -who fails to understand the Englishman. - -“I revoke all claim to a share in this treasure,” I said. “As a medium, -I am not allowed to gain.” - -Then we turned to the board for advice as to procedure. The Spook -promised to tell all, but warned us it would take time. It instructed us -to get proper mediums and place them in a proper environment. It -indicated Hill as the best medium in the camp, but informed us that he -was afraid to “spook,” and had kept his powers dark. - -Next day the Pimple came to me beaming. He reported having approached -Hill, who with great reluctance had confessed to being a medium. Hill -had not seemed anxious to take part in a séance, but under great -pressure had agreed to do so. The Pimple was greatly pleased. He did not -know how carefully Hill’s reluctance had been rehearsed. He reported to -the Commandant that thanks to a hint from the Spook and his own -persuasive powers, he had secured the best possible man to help me in my -task. Nothing was further from his thoughts than that Hill and I were -confederates. - - - - - CHAPTER IX - - HOW THE SPOOK WROTE A MAGIC LETTER AND ARRANGED - OUR ARREST - - -The Thought-Reading Exhibition had aroused great interest. A number of -our fellow prisoners wanted Hill to give them lessons, but most of them -fought shy of the three days’ starvation which was the necessary -preliminary. A few—amongst them some of our best friends in camp—offered -to undergo the fast, and Hill had all his work cut out to persuade them -not to. He finally resorted to the plea that he could not undertake more -than one pupil at a time. The exhibition had one good result. Hearing -Hill explain that my progress in telepathy was being hampered by lack of -privacy, Doc. O’Farrell placed his Dispensary at our disposal for our -experiments. As a _quid pro quo_ we promised that he should be taken on -as the next pupil as soon as my education was completed. - -The Dispensary was a tiny room over the Majors’ wood-store. It was -exactly the place we needed. Here we could meet without fear of -interruption. Everybody knew we were studying the problems of telepathy, -which was a sufficient explanation of our constant hobnobbing, both for -the Turks and for our fellow-prisoners. So nobody suspected us of -plotting to escape, as they would infallibly have done had there been no -ready-made reason assignable for our conferences. Here, then, we -discussed our plans, and here the Pimple came from time to time to get -the benefit of our discussions in the form of oracular utterances by the -Spook. - -The policy pursued by Hill and myself throughout our long campaign -against the Turk was always to concentrate on the obstacle immediately -ahead, and while taking every reasonable precaution about the future, -not to trouble about it overmuch until we had crossed the nearest fence -and seen what lay on the other side. In pursuance of our object not to -implicate the others, we decided that the first thing to be done was to -get moved out of the camp. But the flitting must be so arranged that the -camp would not suspect we ourselves had planned it, while the -Commandant, on the other hand, must be equally convinced that we had no -other motive than to find the treasure. We felt that escape from -separate confinement outside the camp would make it difficult for the -Commandant to charge our comrades with complicity, and at the same time -it would make it easier for us to devote our whole energies to getting a -strangle-hold on Kiazim Bey. The danger of discovery would be lessened -by more than half; for we stood in greater fear of the detective -abilities of our fellow-prisoners than of those of the Turk. Discovery -by either would have meant our being stopped.[14] - -While reconnoitring the ground up to this obstacle—and we did so very -carefully—it struck us that there was no reason why the move itself -should not be so engineered as to become the direct cause of our release -by the Turks. Johnny Turk is a queer mixture of brutality and chivalry. -It was quite on the cards that if we could get the Commandant to commit -a glaring _faux pas_ at our expense, and if we could at the same time -get the British or neutral authorities to represent the matter to -Constantinople, the Turkish War Office might compensate us by granting -us a compassionate release. Indeed, such a release had already been -granted to an officer named Fitzgerald who had been wrongfully thrown -into prison early in the War. So it was not entirely a castle in Spain -that we were building. - -We decided to induce Kiazim Bey to sentence us to a term of -imprisonment, under conditions as harsh as we could get him to impose. -There was little chance, however, that he would so sentence us -wrongfully; he stood in too great a fear of his own War Office to do -that. But perhaps we might succeed in getting him to do so on a charge -which to everyone but himself was manifestly and on the face of it -absurd. If there is one thing the Young Turk desires it is to be -regarded by Europe as civilized, and if there is one thing he fears it -is the ridicule of civilization. If we could arrange something, the -publication of which would render him a laughing-stock in the eyes of -Europeans, the Young Turk Government at Constantinople would gladly -either cut our throats to ensure our silence, or grant us a -compassionate release to prove that they had the civilized standpoint -and to throw the blame on the local subordinate. We thought it was about -an even chance which course they would pursue, but decided that the risk -was worth while. - -Our talks were long and earnest. We examined and rejected scores of -possibilities. And we finally decided, first, to aim at being “jugged” -without cause or trial; or, failing that, to get ourselves sentenced to -imprisonment, after a public trial, on a charge of obtaining War news by -telepathic communications. I knew I could beat the Turkish censor and -get details of the charge and sentence to England, and if this charge -was not absurd enough to galvanize our War Office or the Dutch Embassy -into protest, we would give up all hope of outside assistance bringing -us our compassionate release, and rely, as Mr. Smiles advises good boys -to do, on Self-Help. - -It took exactly a month to achieve our aim. The first “Dispensary -Séance” was held on February 6th, 1918. On March 6th, on the charge of -obtaining and sending military information by means of telepathy, Hill -and I were arrested, tried in the presence of brother officers, and -condemned to solitary confinement until the end of the War. - -The genius that brought about this desirable state of affairs was the -Spook. A verbatim report of every question and answer set to, and given -by, our spirit-guide between February 6th and the date we left Yozgad is -before me as I write. It is a transcript of the records carefully kept -by the Pimple, who had read _Raymond_ (a copy reached our camp just -about this time), and by our advice modelled his attitude on that of Sir -Oliver Lodge. Indeed, except in the matter of fame, the two had -something in common, for in civil life the Pimple also called himself a -Professor. So, thanks to his industry and “scientific methods” of -research, it is possible to give an accurate summary of the doings and -sayings of our “Control,” and where necessary to quote its exact words. -For the historian the scientific method has much to commend itself. - -Our Spook began by greeting Hill with every symptom of friendliness. The -glass did not exactly “caress” him—we had not yet reached such advanced -proficiency—but it spelled out its delight at the meeting, and it -ignored the Pimple. It went on to warn us we were making an improper use -of the Ouija. It was wrong to seek gain, wrong and dangerous, especially -for “dear C.W.H.” Under the best possible conditions the discovery of -the treasure would take a long time, possibly many months. And the -present conditions were hopeless. - -“You must live together,” said the Spook to Hill and myself, “so that -your two minds become as one mind and your thoughts are one thought. -Also it is most necessary that it be all kept profoundly secret. Above -all you must be free from other thought influences; ... the other -prisoners unconsciously project their thoughts between you, thus -preventing unity. You ought to be removed elsewhere. Even prison would -be better for you than this. It would be easier to communicate if you -were alone. In one or two months you could attain more rapid methods, -such as direct speech, but it is hopeless without privacy and peaceful -surroundings. Remember I, too, have immense difficulties on this side. -Ask them” (_i.e._, the Commandant and the Pimple) “either to give up all -hope of my help in finding the treasure, or do what I say and remove -you.” And It again suggested we should be clapped into prison. - -Then Moïse dropped into French, which he imagined neither Hill nor I -understood. - -“Remove? _Déménager pour de bon_, or go for a sitting?” - -“_Pour de bon, mon ami_,” the Spook replied. “_C’est absolument -nécessaire._” He added that it was necessary in order that the mediums -“might get into tune.” Without being “in tune” they could not find the -treasure. - -This was enough for one sitting, so the “force began to go,” as the -Spiritualists put it, and the Pimple found himself confronted with the -delicate task of breaking the news to the mediums. It must be borne in -mind that, as is usual with all mediums of any standing, Hill and I were -always “absolutely ignorant” of what had been said by the Spook until -the Pimple saw fit to read it out to us. At times it was a matter of no -little difficulty to avoid displaying our knowledge of what had -occurred. When, for example, the Pimple had omitted a negative, or in -some other simple way altered the whole tenor of the Spook’s order, it -was extremely tempting to correct him. But that would have been fatal. -We learned to endure his mistakes in silence. - -The Pimple told us, very gently and very sympathetically, that the -Control wanted to put us in prison. Hill and I were, of course, suitably -horror-stricken—but we gradually allowed ourselves to be persuaded to -endure even prison if necessary. For we admitted that there seemed to be -no other way of finding the treasure, and that I was pledged to the -Commandant to do my best. Besides, Hill let out casually, he had had one -experience in Australia of thwarting a Spook’s wishes, and not for all -the wealth of the Indies would he risk such a thing again. Moïse -naturally asked what the experience was, but Hill could only cover his -face with his hands and shudder. It was TOO DREADFUL to be told. - -So insistent had been the Pimple in persuading us to adopt the Spook’s -plan that we thought we had won our point in the first round. But we had -reckoned without the Commandant. It has already been indicated that we -knew nothing of that gentleman’s real character. He revealed it now. An -autocrat and a tyrant to all under his sway, he was the most abject -slave of his own superiors. The post of Commandant in a Prisoner of War -Camp was highly coveted, hard to obtain, and correspondingly easy to -lose. To lose it might mean having to face the music at the front. -Bimbashi Kiazim Bey did not want that. So next day the Pimple explained -to us with tears in his eyes that the Commandant would not, on any -account, risk his position by putting us into prison without cause. He -feared a reprimand from Constantinople. - -We replied that it must be prison or nothing, for who were we to improve -upon the suggestions of our Control? No, we certainly would not assault -a sentry or do anything that would justify our conviction. That was not -a fair proposition to us. But we would go to jail, without any fuss, if -he cared to send us. - -Thus we struggled with the Pimple for eleven days, but in the end saw it -was hopeless. The Commandant would forego the treasure rather than risk -anything. He had not yet acquired the faith in us which made him, later -on, snap his fingers at his own War Office. The furthest he was willing -to go was to re-open what was known as “the Colonels’ House,” a -building, now empty, which had formerly formed part of the camp. Hill -and I could then go and stay there. But if other prisoners also wanted -to go, the Commandant would not prevent them, as it would look -suspicious. He must not show favouritism as it would get him into -trouble! - -The Cook and the Pimple danced with rage—especially the Cook—over their -superior’s pusillanimity. But there it was. To tell the truth, Hill and -I were equally disgusted. We wanted prison. We wished heartily that the -Cook was our Commandant! But we pretended to be grateful to Kiazim Bey -for taking up such a bold stand against carrying out the Spook’s wishes. -We told the Pimple that we ourselves would never have dared to do so, -knowing, as we did, the Power of the Control. We sent him our thanks, -and as he had incurred so much danger on our behalf, to save us from the -vileness of a Turkish jail, we allowed ourselves to be persuaded to -undergo a little danger for him. We would hold one more séance and put -to the Spook his suggestion about the re-opening of the Colonels’ House. - -The séance was held in the Dispensary on the 17th of February. Hill and -I had made our preparations with considerable care. - -The Spook repeated its suggestion of prison. Moïse explained that it was -impossible, and suggested the Colonels’ House, at the same time pointing -out that other prisoners might want to go there and that we saw no way -of preventing them. - -On the _Raymond_ model, the next part of the séance is quoted verbatim -from our records. - -SPOOK. “If I tell you how to do it, will you obey?” - -MOÏSE. “If it is possible and does not involve too much hardship. Will -you please tell us what we are to do?” - -SPOOK. “First, in order to conceal from others the real reason of the -mediums being placed apart and to safeguard the Superior, they will be -formally arrested.” - -MOÏSE. “My objection to that is the Superior cannot arrest them without -excuse.” - -SPOOK. “Moïse must say he found a letter incriminating them.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, but the objection to that is, supposing Colonel Maule, the -Senior Officer (of the camp) asks to see the letter?” - -SPOOK. “If I show my power, will you cease arguing?” - -MOÏSE (in alarm). “Are you going to manifest, or do us any harm?” - -SPOOK. “No. Merely a wonderful thing.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes. We will be quite willing to see that.” - -SPOOK (emphatically). “If I do this you must obey.” - -MOÏSE. “It will not prevent Colonel Maule asking to see the letter.” - -SPOOK. “It will satisfy Col. Maule and solve your difficulty.” - -MOÏSE. “Very good. Please tell us what we are going to do?” - -SPOOK. “Take a clean sheet of paper.” - -MOÏSE (picking up a half sheet of notepaper out of a number that were -lying about). “Here is one.” - -SPOOK. “Examine it.” - -MOÏSE. “There is a watermark and the words ‘English Manufacture’ -stamped.” - -SPOOK. “Each of you fold it once squarely, with the sun.” - -(Moïse folded it, handed it to Hill, who again folded it, and handed it -to me. I folded it for the third time and placed it on the table. All -this was done openly, above the table, in broad daylight.) - -MOÏSE. “We have done it.” - -SPOOK. “Next let Moïse hold it on his head.” - -(Picking up the paper between finger and thumb I handed it to Moïse.) - -MOÏSE. “In which hand? With or without cap?” - -SPOOK. “Left. Without cap.” - -(Moïse removed his balaclava—an English-made one, no doubt stolen from -one of our parcels.) - -MOÏSE. “I have put it on my head” (holding it there). - -SPOOK. “This is the letter you found, remember.” - -MOÏSE (after a pause, during which the glass moved violently in circles -and the mediums grew more and more exhausted). “May I take it off now?” - -SPOOK. “Yes.” - -MOÏSE. “May I open it?” - -SPOOK. “Have you promised to obey?” - -MOÏSE. “We all promised whatever we can to obey it.” - -SPOOK. “Open it.” - -(Note by Moïse in record: “Both mediums under very high strain.”) - -MOÏSE (in great excitement, seeing the paper was now written on). “May I -read it?” - -SPOOK. “Yes.” - -This is what the Pimple read out, written in a good feminine hand:— - -“I think the experiment has been successful. Last night at the stated -time we received a telepathic message through two fellow-prisoners. It -said ‘Forces being sent South from Caucasus.’ Let me know if this was -the exact message sent. If it is correct there is no need to incur -further danger of discovery by writing messages. The rest of our -arrangements can be made by telepathy. The mediums have been sworn to -secrecy and can be absolutely trusted. Put your reply in the usual -place. IMPORTANT. ZKZVOCZHUFGCGCAVYHCYACAKLRMTUODUFUHIZLTOEPCCV.”[15] - -When this was read aloud to us by the Pimple, Hill and I grew greatly -alarmed, and questioned the Spook. - -JONES (in alarm). “Can Hill and I withdraw, because this might do us -harm?” - -SPOOK. “If you withdraw now you are doomed.” - -JONES (much agitated). “I will not withdraw. What are we to do?” - -SPOOK. “Obey.” - -(Note by Moïse: Both mediums were cold, giddy, and shivering at this -point.) - -The Spook went on writing. Moïse, who was recording the letters touched -by the glass, suddenly gave an exclamation of surprise. - -“The Spook says this is all true,” he said to us. “It says this letter -is word for word the same as one which has actually been sent.” - -Hill and I simulated great agitation. - -“I know it is true,” I replied; “that is why we wanted to withdraw!” - -“But I thought this letter was merely an invention of the Spook,” said -Moïse. - -“I wish it was,” I said, “for he has given away what we had intended to -keep as a deep secret, as it involves others.” - -“Jones and I got that telepathic message about the Caucasus troops last -night,” said Hill. - -“This becomes very serious and very complicated,” said the Pimple. - -“I know it does,” I said. “Haven’t I tried to withdraw? But the Spook -threatens us, and we can’t! What are we to do?” - -“If Moïse will keep quiet about what we have said,” Hill suggested, -“perhaps the Commandant will still think it all an invention of the -Spook’s.” - -“Could you delete from your record that last sentence where the Spook -says it is all true?” I asked. - -“Yes,” said Moïse, and drew his pencil lightly through it. - -“And you promise not to tell the Commandant we have really been working -this telepathy business with somebody outside the camp, won’t you? We -fear he will be seriously angry and really punish us. If it wasn’t for -the Spook’s threats we would stop now!” - -The Pimple soothed our fears, gave us his promise—and broke it (as we -hoped he would) as soon as the séance was ended. - -All this was not merely gratuitous by-play. We were making a strong bid -to capture the Commandant’s full belief, and every step in the séance -had been carefully planned beforehand. The _manner_ in which the magic -letter was written, in broad daylight and on a piece of paper selected -by Moïse himself, seemed of itself something of a miracle. It was quite -enough to impress the Commandant with the belief that he was up against -supernatural forces. (Of course it really was nothing more than an -extremely fine specimen of Hill’s sleight-of-hand. So deft were his -movements that even I, who knew what to expect, had missed seeing the -actual substitution of the prepared letter for Moïse’s blank paper, -which had been “forced” on him, watermark and all, much as one “forces” -the choice of a card.) - -Then the _matter_ of the magic letter, if true, was of extreme -importance to the Commandant, for it indicated that amongst his -prisoners of war were two mediums capable of sending and receiving -messages of military importance. Our agitation, our attempt at -withdrawal, our confession to the Pimple and our request that he should -hide from the Commandant the fact that the contents were really true—all -these were certain to be reported to Kiazim Bey, and we hoped that our -anxiety for him to consider the contents of the letter as pure -spiritistic fiction would have exactly the opposite effect. - -Once he believed the contents of the letter were true, he must -necessarily conclude that Hill and I were the tools of the mysterious -agency which had written it and not _vice versa_. So we pretended It had -given away a secret which we had wished to be kept hidden, and which -endangered our safety. The central idea on which our whole plan pivoted, -and on which not only our success but our very safety would depend, was -that we were mere mouthpieces of the Spook, unconscious of what was -being said through us and quite incapable of altering or adding to it of -our own will. The Commandant must learn to treat us as impersonally as -he would treat a telephone on his office table. - -After the interlude of the confession, the Pimple asked the Spook to -explain what was to be done with this mysterious letter, and how it was -going to attain for us the seclusion necessary for “our thoughts to -become one thought, and our minds one mind.” - -The Spook gave full instructions. It pointed out that the letter -referred to two mediums who had received a telepathic message. It -reminded the Turks that Hill and I had recently given a public -exhibition of telepathy. We were known as telepathists to the whole -camp, and there were no others. Therefore we two must be the mediums -indicated. And it informed them that the camp believed in our powers as -thought-readers and thought-transmitters, and would admit that belief if -properly taxed with it, thereby justifying the Commandant in sentencing -us to solitary confinement. - -The obvious course was, therefore, for the Commandant to set about -obtaining this admission of belief, without the camp knowing beforehand -the purpose for which he required it. The Spook advised him to set a -trap, and showed him how to do it. He should say he was interested in -telepathy, and having heard of the recent exhibition, he would like to -talk over the matter with the two principals and with any other officers -who cared to come. The Spook suggested that the Doctor in particular, as -a “man of science,” should be invited. Having got the company into the -office, the Commandant would question them as to the possibility of -telepathy. He would find that they all considered it perfectly possible, -and that they regarded Jones and Hill as exponents of the new science. -On the strength of this confession of faith he could produce the Spook -letter and ask of Jones and Hill if the telepathic message therein -referred to had been received by them. They would admit having received -it. He would then demand the names of their confederates, which they -would refuse. He could then formally charge them with being in -telepathic communication on military matters with persons outside, and -as their fellow-officers had already given evidence that Jones and Hill -could send and receive thoughts, he could convict and sentence them -without any fear of local disapprobation or of unpleasant consequences -from Constantinople. “If you do not carry out the plan,” said the Spook -in conclusion, “there will be trouble.” - -“As a matter of fact,” the Pimple said, buttoning the record of the -séance inside his coat, “you and Hill can be honestly tried for -obtaining this war news. You _have_ been doing it, so the Spook is not -telling lies.” - -“But don’t tell the Commandant that,” I begged. - -“You are again doing as in Kut,” said Moïse knowingly. - -“As in Kut?” I was genuinely at a loss for the moment. - -“Yes! When Townshend employed you to read the minds of our Turkish -generals,” said Moïse, resurrecting Freak’s lie of six months before. - -“The devil!” I exclaimed. “Who told you that?” - -The Pimple looked very proud of himself. “Never mind,” he said. “I, too, -know things.” - -“I wish I was out of this,” Hill said. “It is too dangerous. I would -like to withdraw from the whole business.” - -The Pimple laughed at him. “But you dare not, you fear too much the -Spook!” - - - - - CHAPTER X - - HOW WE WERE TRIED AND CONVICTED FOR TELEPATHY - - -There followed a delightfully busy fortnight for Hill and myself. We -made a minute study of a large book on mental diseases, purloined from -the Doctor’s library, and improved our minds with other medical lore -anent an illness to which the Commandant was subject. Under a specious -plea we borrowed from Spink an Armenian-French dictionary—a treasured -possession which he kept hidden under a movable plank in the floor of -his room. Spink was an industrious and painstaking youth. With a view to -a possible escape, and with the aid of George Borrow’s _Lavengro_, he -had transliterated the Armenian alphabet. This was to prove most useful. -He had also drawn up an Armenian phrase-book, which I studied with such -diligence and profit that later on the Spook of the murdered owner of -the treasure appeared and spoke to us in the Armenian tongue! But for -the present the use of the dictionary was to enable Hill to manufacture -two brief but extremely interesting Armenian documents. These we -enclosed, along with some ashes from our charcoal brazier and two -Turkish gold sovereigns, in two small tin cases. The cases were buried -by Hill, three miles apart, while he was out ski-ing. As the Ski-Club -was also due to Spink’s initiative, we owe that ornament of the Indian -Public Works Department a deep debt of gratitude. - -While Hill was busy with his document-making and his burying, it was my -duty to inculcate a proper respect for telepathy in the chosen witnesses -of the forthcoming trial. Doc. O’Farrell was already converted. He would -do “as he was” for one witness at our trial; but we threw in a private -exhibition to make all secure. Almost any of the juniors would do for a -second. We also required at least two field officers, preferably with -Red Tabs, and one of the two ought to have an official position in the -camp. A couple of days of the Socratic method convinced Peel. A -“practical experiment” in which Hill conveyed to me “by telepathy” that -he had been shown a black-handled knife when two miles away from the -camp, satisfied the Adjutant, Gilchrist, who owned and had shown the -knife. We had our four “witnesses” for the trial ready, and knew they -would all swear to the possibility of telepathy in all genuineness. _En -passant_, it is worthy of remark that one witness who _believes_ that -what he says is true (though it may be as false as Ananias’s best -effort) is worth ten of a conscious liar in any Court of Law. - -Then, in case the Turks saw fit to test the accuracy of the Spook’s -assertion concerning the telepathic receipt of the message about the -movement of troops from the Caucasus, it became necessary to receive -such a message at a séance. Mundey and Edmonds, both true believers, -were victimized. We received the message in their presence, and _at the -bidding of the Spook_ gave our words of honour to keep its source a -secret. This “word of honour” came in most usefully later on. - -Lastly, there were two men in the camp—Barton and Nightingale—who knew -the secret of our telepathic code. It was quite possible that if the -Turks arrested us for telepathy these two men would expose the code in -order to obtain our release. We could easily have trusted them with the -whole story, but on our principle to implicate nobody and tell -nobody—until it became absolutely necessary—we decided to keep quiet. A -hint to say nothing, whatever happened, was sufficient for these two -loyal friends. - -We were now ready for anything the Commandant might care to do—the worse -the better, within limits. But the Commandant was by no means ready to -begin. Up to a point our plotting and lying had been completely -successful. He accepted without question the truth of the information -contained in the magic letter, but he was doubtful about the future and -he wanted to make himself perfectly safe with his own War Office. It -took three more séances to satisfy him, for he had piles of questions to -ask the Spook. Must he report the trial to Constantinople, and if so -what should he say? What would the camp think? What would Colonel Maule -say in his monthly sealed letter to Headquarters? What if the War Office -wanted to punish the mediums more severely? What was the sentence to be? -How many days, or weeks, or months? How severe the conditions of -imprisonment? Supposing the War Office asked where the letter was found, -or who found it? Supposing the prisoners should write home about the -matter, was he to destroy their letters? What was the best day of the -week to begin on? And so forth and so on. The Spook solved each and all -of these problems in a most satisfactory way. It dictated his report to -Constantinople.[16] It promised to reveal within a month of the trial -the secret of how the treasure was buried. It promised to safeguard the -Commandant from any possible punishment by his superiors. And It -threatened in most bloodthirsty terms to be avenged if we did not adopt -the plan over which It had spent so much thought and care. - -At the beginning of each month our Senior Officer was permitted to send -to Turkish Headquarters at Constantinople a sealed letter. This the -local Yozgad authorities were not allowed to censor. The object was to -give prisoners the opportunity of criticizing the conduct of the -Commandant direct to the Turkish War Office. The Commandant was anxious -that this letter should be sent off before we began operations. With any -luck, we might have found the treasure before the month was out and the -next letter sent. Hill and I would then be back in camp and Colonel -Maule would have no cause to grouse about our treatment. So the -Commandant argued. Hill and I were fairly confident that so long as our -imprisonment did not affect the comfort of the rest of the camp in -general, nothing much would be said about it, however absurd the charge -against us might be. We would be allowed to “dree oor ain weird.” But we -did not say so to the Commandant. We agreed with him that, in view of -the “solidarity of the British Empire,” and the curious habit British -Senior Officers have of interesting themselves in the welfare of their -juniors, this was a bit of a problem. So we left it to the Spook to -answer. The Spook decided that the best date to begin operations was -that immediately following the day on which Colonel Maule posted his -monthly letter. - -On Saturday, March 2nd, 1918, Colonel Maule sent his sealed letter up to -the Commandant’s office. On March 3rd Hill and I asked for and received -from the Interpreter the full “score” of the forthcoming trial—a -lengthy, written document embodying all the instructions of the Spook. -We were asked to make certain we had our parts pat, and to reply if we -agreed to the programme. I saw the Pimple that evening in the lane, and -told him we agreed, but did not return his written instructions. These -we intended to keep, for they would be valuable and irrefutable evidence -of the complicity of the Turks in our designs. But Johnny Turk was -risking nothing. The wily Oriental is thoroughly well aware of the fact -that _litera scripta manet_. On March 4th the Cook came to our room and -began fiddling with our stove. He made unintelligible demands for a -“tinniké.” Then when no one was looking he slipped into my hands the -following note, the original of which I still possess— - -“DEAR JONES, - -I send you the Cook under pretext of inspecting the stove and demanding -a tobacco flat tin. Will you give him the Instructions I gave you -yesterday to which you have agreed? - - Yours, - - MOÏSE.” - -To refuse would be to arouse suspicion and possibly upset all our plans. -There was nothing for it but to hand over the evidence. - -On the same day—March 4th—the Pimple reported that Colonel Maule’s -letter had been consigned to the mercies of the Turkish Post Office. -Hill and I went over our arrangements for the last time, and made -certain we had left nothing undone. According to programme we were to be -arrested next day. - -But March 5th came and went. All day long Hill and I waited and longed -for our arrest. It did not come. In the evening the Pimple arrived and -informed us that the Commandant had been too busy taking part in the -celebrations of the Russian Peace. We knew it for a lie. We knew that he -was “ratting” at the last moment, that once more he was funking a -possible reprimand from Constantinople. But it would never do to say so. -Instead, we simulated joy at our reprieve. We said that with luck this -would be the last of the unhappy affair, and that we were glad to be -relieved of the burden. Then we expressed our earnest hope that the -Spook would visit no punishment on the Commandant or the Pimple for -their failure to obey. But after the Pimple had gone we raged together, -up and down the lane and round and round the Hospital garden, till the -sentries drove us indoors at dark. We both spent a miserable night. For -it looked as if the War might last another twenty years—and our plan had -failed. - -On the morning of March 6th, about 10.30 a.m., Moïse came to us and -complained that he had been “spooked,” that the Commandant had been very -angry with him; and that while pretending to be too unwell to carry out -the programme, he really intended to postpone it for good and all, -because of his fear of Constantinople. - -“I am certain,” said the unhappy Pimple, “that the Spook has put into -his head ideas against me. Otherwise he could not have known. It is the -beginning of our punishment for yesterday’s delay. I know it. I am sure. -And his turn will come!” Then he begged for one last séance to consult -the Spook. - -“But what have you been up to, to make him angry?” I asked, as we walked -together towards the Dispensary. - -The Pimple refused to admit that he had been up to anything, and called -the Commandant “a jealous pig.” Hill immediately winked at me. We let -well alone, and stopped our pumping. - -We sat down to the spook-board. There had been no time for a special -consultation, but this was likely to be our last chance and we must use -it. - -Moïse wrote down a question without uttering it, and slipped it under -the board for the Spook to answer. This was awkward. At previous séances -the Spook had shown its power of answering questions in this way. -To-day, however, we were not prepared for the test. But I had managed to -get a glimpse of one word as he wrote, and that word was suggestive. It -was “pardon.” - -“No use begging pardon,” said the Spook; “obey and BEWARE!” - -Then came a long pause, the glass remaining quite motionless. Moïse grew -more and more impatient. - -“Please answer what to do,” he said at last. - -For at least ten minutes there was no movement in the glass, for I was -thinking hard what to say, and could see no light. We told the Pimple -that the glass felt “dead,” as if there was no one there. He got more -and more highly strung and excited, and kept begging the Control to -return. He threw a sheet of paper on to the board and asked the Control -to write on it if he would not use the glass. As soon as the paper -touched the board, the Control “manifested,” and both Hill and I had our -hands simultaneously dragged away from the glass by some invisible -force. For some time we tried to get our fingers on the glass again, but -were prevented by the invisible agent. The Pimple’s excitement rose to -fever pitch as he watched the struggle. We became more and more -exhausted, and finally had to rest. - -“This is terrible,” said Hill, mopping his brow. “I think we had better -chuck it. The Control is poisonously angry, and Heaven knows what he may -not do.” - -The Pimple begged us to try once more. We did, and got our fingers on -the glass without much difficulty. The Spook gave proof of his presence -by moving the glass about. The necessary idea had come to us. - -“What will you do?” Moïse asked. - -“I can but bring on the old pains,” said the Spook. - -“What do you mean, please?” - -(This is where our study of the Commandant’s disease, biliary colic, -first came in useful.) - -“Vomiting,” the Spook answered. “Vomiting! Shivers! Such agony that he -will roll about and scream for mercy! He knows well, but I shall choose -my own time. Unless orders are obeyed _today_ I forbid my mediums to -grant further sittings under penalty of madness to themselves. -Good-bye.” - -“How can I make the Commandant do it?” Moïse asked. - -Before a reply was possible both mediums had their fingers again thrown -from the glass and appeared to experience a sensation which the sitter -in his notes describes briefly as “electric shock.” The Control was -obviously angry. Hill and I refused to venture any further, and we asked -Moïse to say so to the Commandant. Moïse suggested that we should put -our views in writing. We therefore wrote the Commandant a joint letter, -in which we expressed our regret that he was unwell, and hoped he would -be sufficiently recovered by the afternoon to begin the experiment. We -ended by saying that in view of the Control’s threats we could not (for -our own sakes as well as for the sake of the Commandant) go any further -in the matter unless it was put in hand that day. - -The Pimple hurried off with the letter and the record of the séance. - -“There goes our last chance, old chap,” I said to Hill as soon as we -were left alone. “If that doesn’t fetch him, we’ve failed.” - -“Oh no,” said Hill, “we can always smash up a sentry a bit. They’ll lock -us up quick enough for that. We can tell the Commandant privately we -were spooked into doing it!” - -“Right-o!” I agreed. “We’ll try that next. I want to biff that little -beast with the top boots, anyway.” - -“Mine’s the Mulazim,” said Hill. “He needs a thick ear. Do him good.” - -Alone, I believe I would have thrown up the sponge, and resigned myself -to growing grey in what looked like indefinite captivity. Hill’s -determination renewed my waning hopes. We began plotting again. - -We might have spared ourselves the trouble. The force of example proved -a powerful incentive to obedience. The Commandant must have remembered -how the Spook’s threat of doom had brought Hill and myself to our knees -when we wished to withdraw from the treasure-hunt, and how we had -preferred to risk punishment from the Turk rather than the wrath of the -Unknown. The prospect of a recurrence of his malady frightened him into -action. At 2 p.m. the following note was brought to me by a sentry—(I -again quote the original)— - -“LIEUTENANT JONES, - - The Commandant should like to talk a little with you about -thought-reading and telepathy. Will you ask a few officers to come up -with you to the office in order to have a little show? - - (_Signed_) for the Commandant, - -THE INTERPRETER—MOÏSE.” - -We invited to accompany us the four officers whom we had long since -marked down as suitable for this purpose. They all accepted. Three of -the four wrote down that same evening their recollections of what -occurred. The following account is composed of an extract from each of -the three independent reports. It shows how exactly “the little show” -followed the instructions of the Spook. (The fourth witness, being -mightier with the sword than with the pen, refrained from committing his -impressions to paper.) - -(_I begin with an extract from Major Peel’s account_): - -“About 2.30 p.m. Lieut. Jones and Hill were sent for to the Commandant’s -office ‘to talk about thought-reading,’ and asked to bring with them one -or two other officers. Jones asked me, Gilchrist, W. Smith and -O’Farrell, who are all interested in the subject, to accompany him. -Arrived at the Commandant’s office, the Commandant shook hands with us -and asked us to sit down. He then, through the Interpreter, asked Jones, -‘What is telepathy?’ Jones explained, giving the Greek derivation, etc. - -”COMMANDANT. ‘How is it done?’ - -“JONES. ‘It is not known how it is done any more than it is known how -electricity works, but it is similar to electricity in that there is a -sender and a receiver, and thought-waves can be sent by one and picked -up by another.’ - -”COMMANDANT (to O’Farrell). ‘Is this a medical fact?’ - -“O’FARRELL. ‘It is a well-known fact like mesmerism.’ - -”JONES. ‘You can ask Major Gilchrist if it is possible.’ - -(_I now quote from the Doctor_): - -“Major Gilchrist then said that he sent a (telepathic) message down -through Lieut. Hill from the top of South hill while out ski-ing, and -when he returned Lieut. Jones told him the thought that Lieut. Hill -sent. - -“The Commandant asked what the object (thought of) was, and Major -Gilchrist said it was a black knife. - -“The Commandant now became uneasy. He had the drawer of his desk a -quarter open, and kept on putting his hand inside and fingering -something. - -“I then said that another instance of thought transference was one he -must have done himself. Say, for instance, you are in a room and you -want to attract someone’s attention; if you look at him hard, he will -look round at you. - -“The Commandant now put his hand in the desk, drew out a half sheet of -paper (I think quarto, such as is used in a Turkish Government Office) -and handed it to Jones. - -“Lieut. Jones showed marked agitation while reading the note. He bit his -lip, clenched his hands, and appeared as if he was suffering from -extreme excitement, from a medical point of view, and as if he was going -into a trance from a psycho-physical point of view.” - -(_The conclusion is taken from Major Gilchrist’s narrative_): - -“The Commandant ... asked Lieut. Jones what he had to say. Jones said he -did not deny that he had received and sent telepathic messages, and had -received war news by these means. The Commandant then asked him who his -correspondent was. Jones refused to state. The Commandant then -threatened Lieut. Jones with solitary confinement, without his orderly, -and on bread and water, unless he told him who his correspondent was. He -was given 24 hours to decide whether he would answer or not. Further, he -was asked to give his word of honour not to communicate telepathically -with anyone. This he said he could not do as he could not control his -thoughts. When again informed that he must give the name of his -correspondent or be court-martialled, and must give his word of honour, -Lieut. Jones replied, ‘I have given my word of honour not to disclose my -correspondent. If I break this word, what is the use of my word not to -communicate?’ The Commandant then said he would not put Lieut. Jones on -bread and water until he had news from Constantinople, and again the -Commandant said that his duty to his country made him insist on -demanding the name of the correspondent. Lieut. Jones said that the -Power his gift gave him also made it his duty to assist _his_ country. -Lieut. Jones demanded of the Commandant what charge he would be tried -on, and asked, ‘Am I to be tried on a charge of communicating -telepathically with outsiders and not divulging the name when asked for -it?’ The Commandant assured him it was so. Lieut. Jones then stated that -24 or 48 hours would not make any difference. He would not divulge the -name....” - -We left the office for our 24 hours’ grace, Hill and I secretly -triumphant but outwardly indignant, and our four witnesses in a mood -very different from that in which they had entered the sacred precincts. -They were now much chastened. They had expected to see the Turk betray -an intelligent interest in the mysterious phenomena of telepathy, which -they themselves had found so engrossing. They had willingly imparted to -him their own knowledge of the difficult problem: but they had never -dreamed that their belief in telepathy would be turned to practical use -against two of their fellow-officers, and they felt that, while in -common with our two selves they had been very neatly trapped, their -ingenuous little confession of faith had gone not a little way towards -hanging us. - -“I never thought the Commandant had it in him to work out such a trap,” -said the Doc. - -“Yes,” said Gilchrist, “it was typically Oriental—and confoundedly -clever.” - -Their respect for the Commandant’s ability had suddenly risen to -boiling-point. They could talk of little else as we walked back to camp. - -There is one point on which these three good fellows are silent in their -written reports. I had committed what was in their eyes the unpardonable -sin. I had given away my accomplice—Hill. When to all appearance there -was no need for it, I inculpated him with myself, and indeed went rather -out of my way to mention his name. To them it was inexplicable. It was -conduct utterly unworthy of a British officer. They taxed me with it as -soon as we reached camp, and asked why I had done such a thing. I looked -as ashamed as possible. The trap, I said, had taken me unawares. I had -lost my temper—and my head—and blurted out my confession, which involved -Hill, before I knew where I was. Of their charity (I forget if Charity -also is blind, but she ought to be), they accepted this explanation, and -tried to forgive me in their hearts. The truth, of course, was that it -was the Commandant who had lost his head. He had confined his attention -and his questions entirely to me. Hill was not asked anything. It was -essential that the Commandant should have some ostensible reason for -“jugging” us both together, and on the spur of the moment I had supplied -his omission in the best way I could—by dragging in Hill’s name and -implicating him with myself. - - - - - CHAPTER XI - - IN WHICH WE ARE PUT ON PAROLE BY OUR COLONEL, AND GO - TO PRISON - - -The news of our impending imprisonment and its cause roused the camp out -of its usual lethargy, and provided us with interesting sidelights into -the character of our fellow-prisoners. That our more intimate friends -should press forward with offers of help did not surprise us. It was -what might be expected of them. Nor were we astonished when true -believers, like Mundey, stated their readiness in the interests of -science to incur any risk to get us out of our predicament or to send -news of it home. It was still more delightful to find men on whom we had -no manner of claim putting at our disposal money, food, clothing, -anything and everything they had, and begging us to indicate any way in -which they could be of assistance. Nothing could have been kinder or -more unselfish than the attitude of these men, and our pleasantest -memory of Yozgad is of the way in which they stood by us in our apparent -distress. To us the most charming instance was “Old ’Erb,” who first -obeyed the dictates of his kind heart and positively forced on us the -loan of a large sum of money (he wanted to make it a gift), and then, -like the sportsman he was, had the moral courage to take me aside, -lecture me roundly on losing my head and giving Hill away, and advised -me (if not for my own sake, then for that of my co-accused), “to curb my -tongue and my pride, and knuckle under to the Turk.” I knew that in his -heart he thought my conduct towards Hill despicable, and yet he helped -us. - -But our experiences were not all as pleasant. Hardship and prison life -bring out the worst as well as the best that is in a man. Many of us had -grown selfish to a degree that can be imagined only by one who has gone -through a long period of privation and discomfort in the enforced -company of his fellow-men. To hide the fact would be to give a wholly -false impression of the moral atmosphere of our camp, which was probably -no better and no worse than others in Turkey. We had amongst us some who -concentrated first, last, and always on their own comfort. “Hell!” said -one such gentleman, on learning that we had been sentenced to an -indefinite term of solitary confinement, “we’ll get no more parcels.” -And he cursed all spiritualists from Oliver Lodge downwards. Indeed, on -the whole, we got from our fellows as many kicks as ha’pence. - -On the morning after the trial I was up betimes, packing in preparation -for our imprisonment, and impatiently awaiting Hill’s report. I hoped to -hear that he had successfully withdrawn his parole not to escape. For -this had been the object of the 24 hours’ grace, which, like everything -else that had happened at the “little show,” had been granted under -instructions from the Spook. We had, of course, seen to it that the -Commandant ascribed an entirely erroneous motive to the Spook’s orders. -_He_ thought the object of the order was to impress the camp with the -belief that he was giving us every possible chance. _We_ knew better. -The threat of imprisonment away from the camp should prove an adequate -excuse for Hill to withdraw his parole. - -Hill arrived about eleven o’clock. - -“Have you been on the mat yet?” he asked. - -I told him I had not, beyond being abused by some of my pals as a -nuisance. - -“Well, _I_ have!” said Hill. “I’ve just been had up before Colonel Maule -and Colonel Herbert.” - -“Did you get quit of your parole?” I asked. - -Hill pulled a long face and then burst out laughing. “Far from it,” he -said; “I never had a chance of mentioning it. The Colonel’s got the wind -up. He thinks the camp is in for a strafing. He told me I was always -running the risk of getting the rest of them into trouble. This was the -third time, he said, I had played the ass, and he gave me a proper -dressing-down for getting you into a bad hole with what he called my -hanky-panky tricks. I said I couldn’t see anything hanky-panky in -thought-reading. Then he asked me to give my parole not to communicate -with anyone outside by telepathy.” - -“Did you give it?” I asked. - -“Lord, yes! What’s the odds!” Hill was shaking with laughter. “Only I -explained what a hard job it is to control thought-waves, so he said he -would be satisfied with a promise not to send them out _wilfully_. I -gave that!” - -Instead of getting rid of his old parole Hill had gone and got himself -involved in a new one! The situation was growing absurd. As soon as we -could master our merriment—a task of no small difficulty—we went -together to the gallant Colonel and asked for an interview. He led the -way into his own bedroom. - -“Hill tells me,” I said with great solemnity, “that you blame him for -getting me into trouble over this telepathy business. I want to explain -to you that I started my experiments long before I had anything to do -with Hill. He is in no way to blame.” - -“I am delighted to hear it,” he answered. - -“On April 22nd,” I explained, “I wrote to a friend in England, who is -interested in spiritualism and telepathy, suggesting that on the first -evening of each month we should hold simultaneous séances in England and -in Yozgad to try and get into communication. As you may know, we here -have held these séances on the first of each month, and have endeavoured -to send and receive messages. It was not until these experiments had -been in progress for nine months that Hill and I came together as -spiritualists.” - -“I see,” said the Colonel; “but since you admit you began it, why won’t -you end it? Why can’t you settle the matter in the way the Commandant -has suggested, and give the Turks your parole not to send or receive any -more thought-messages?” - -I was prepared for the question, and produced three letters from my -correspondent in England, each of which quoted messages concerning -myself received through mediums in England. “Those are not amongst any -of the messages I _consciously_ sent,” I explained, “but I distinctly -remember thinking about at least one of the subjects he mentions. This -shows that your ordinary thoughts are liable to be picked up. Now, -supposing I give the Commandant my parole, and then this correspondent -of mine or some other experimenter picks up a casual thought from me and -writes me a letter about it? The Turks censor our letters and would see -it. Nothing could convince them I have not broken my word.” - -At my request the Colonel glanced through the letters. “But these have -been censored,” he said in surprise, pointing to the Turkish censor’s -mark. - -“Quite so,” I replied, “and I would like you to take charge of them for -me. If Constantinople court-martials me for spiritualism, I shall ask -you to produce these as proof that our experiments were carried on -without concealment.” - -“Certainly,” said the Colonel, as he locked away the letters in a box. -“Now I understand why you can’t give your promise to the Turk. But I -want you to give it to me. Will you promise not to attempt communication -with anyone in the town by conscious telepathy or any other means?” - -“I never have attempted to do so by other means,” I said. - -The Colonel’s face grew very stern. “I beg your pardon,” he said -severely. “I am informed that the Commandant holds an intercepted -letter.” - -I nodded. - -“It implicates you?” - -“Yes, both me and Hill.” - -“It refers, does it not, to previous correspondence?” - -“It does,” I replied. - -“If you have had no communication with outside, will you be good enough -to explain how you began this correspondence?” - -The Colonel was now in his element. He was treating me like a defaulter -in the orderly room. - -“By telepathy,” said I. - -“Yes, sir,” said Hill, in answer to a glance of enquiry. “Our only -communication with outside has been by telepathy.” - -The good Colonel was puzzled and distressed. He sat silent for a time, -frowning a little. - -“Look here,” he said at last. “You told the Commandant you have given -your parole not to reveal the name of your communicator.” - -“I did.” - -The Colonel leant forward, a hand on each knee, and looked hard into my -eyes. “You now say”—he spoke with emphatic slowness—“you now assert you -have had no outside communications. To whom did you give that parole?” - -“To the Spook,” said I, grinning.[17] - -The Colonel jumped to his feet, and strode across to the little window. -He stood there for a space, looking into the garden. Every now and then -he passed his hand over his brow. At last he turned round and faced us. - -“I give it up!” he said. - -Hill and I smiled—we could not help it. - -“I give it up,” the Colonel repeated, with great sternness. - -I spoke with all the gravity I could muster. - -“Sir,” I said, “I give you my word that since I came to Yozgad I have -had no communication by speech or writing direct or indirect with anyone -in Turkey outside the camp, except the Turkish officials. Nor have I -ever attempted any communication with the inhabitants by any other means -than telepathy.” - -“That is good enough for me,” said the Colonel brightly. “Now to avoid -getting the camp into trouble, will you agree while you remain in this -camp not to attempt _conscious_ telepathy or other communication with -any outsiders? I don’t mean any ordinary open conversation—you know what -I mean, don’t you?” - -“Yes,” said I, and gave the promise he wanted. Then I glanced across at -Hill. The Colonel was looking pleased and the time seemed propitious. - -“Sir,” said Hill, “I want to take back the parole I gave to your -predecessor—not to escape.” - -The Colonel frowned again. “Why?” said he. - -“Because Jones and I are going to be separately confined from the rest -of the camp. I want to be free to escape if I want to.” - -“Hum!” said the Colonel. - -“I am the only man in camp who is on parole to you,” pleaded Hill. - -“Hum!” said the Colonel again. - -“We may be sent to the common jail,” said Hill. - -The Colonel rubbed his chin. “You are aware that if anyone escapes the -rest of the camp will be punished? You have seen the Commandant’s order -on the subject, have you not?”[18] - -“Yes,” said Hill; “but from this afternoon we are to be in separate -confinement. We won’t form part of the camp.” - -“Well,” said the Colonel, “if you are put in the common jail, you may -escape if you can. But if you are confined in one of these houses round -here, I shall consider you are still in the camp.” - -“But supposing we are moved from Yozgad?” Hill protested. - -“I can’t have you risking the comfort of a hundred other officers,” he -replied. “You should think of the others. But in view of a possible -move, I shall modify your parole to apply only to Yozgad and a five-mile -radius round it, excluding the jail, if you like.” - -Hill glanced across at me. On the principle that half a loaf is better -than no bread, I nodded. - -“Thank you, sir,” said Hill. - -We turned to go. - -“What about you, Jones?” said the Colonel suddenly. “Have you any -intention of running away?” - -I looked as surprised as I could. “Good Lord, sir!” I said. “Do you -think I’m such a fool as to think of it with a groggy knee like mine?” - -The Colonel laughed. “There’s no saying with you fellows,” said he; “but -that’s all right now.” - -Hill and I walked up the garden together. - -“That five-mile circle is pretty beastly,” he grumbled. - -“There’s always the jail,” I said. “The Spook can push you in there if -necessary later on.” - -“That’s so!” Hill brightened up. “He nearly pinched you for parole too! -I thought you were in for it!” - -“So did I,” I laughed, “but I wriggled out of it.” - -I was quite wrong. Half an hour later the Colonel came to my room. He -handed me a document. - -“This is a summary of the results of our interview,” he said. “Read it -and tell me if it is correct.” - -I read it, and found he had put me on parole with Hill for the double -event—not to telepathize with the good folk of Yozgad, and not to escape -from the five-mile circle. - -I might as well be in the same boat as Hill after all. “It’s all right,” -I said. - -“Of course,” he said, “if you insist on it at any time, I am bound to -give you back your parole.” - -This was very fair of the Colonel. But his refusal of the morning was -still too fresh, and I remembered how another senior officer had treated -Hill’s first attempt to recover his parole which he had made some months -before. (He had threatened to inform the Turks!) The Commandant’s -allegiance to the Spook was as yet too shaky to let us take any risks, -however slight. We could take back our parole, if necessary, in our own -good time. - -“Thank you, sir,” I said; “I shall remember that. But we have no -intention of getting the camp into trouble.” - -“Hum!” said the Colonel, and left me. And that was the last I saw of him -in captivity. - -I had one more visitor of importance that morning. Doc. brought me his -report of the trial, which has been quoted above. I thanked him for -letting me read it. - -“Is that correct?” he asked. - -“It is what happened,” said I. - -“Do you know,” he said, “I couldn’t sleep last night. Lay awake for -hours and hours after writing that. I was thinkin’....” - -“That’s bad,” I sympathized. “Did it hurt much?” - -He took me by the shoulders, turned my face to the light and stood -looking at me quizzingly for some time. His eyes were dancing with -mischief. - -“Tell me,” he said at last. “Honest now! Are you by any chance an -Irishman in disguise?” - -“No,” I laughed, “I am not.” - -“Any Irish blood in ye?” - -“Not a drop, Doc. dear.” - -He ruffled his hair, plunged his hands deep in his pockets, and began -walking up and down with a short quick step. - -“Then I can’t understand it,” he cried. “If you were an Irishman I’d -know where I was, but you say you’re not.” - -“Is it my nose that’s botherin’ you, Doc. dear?” I chaffed. - -“It is _not_ your nose,” he said emphatically, “an’ well you know it! -It’s this preposterous trial. If you were an Irishman, I’d know you’d -planned the whole thing for a bit of devilment.” - -“Mercy me!” I exclaimed. “What makes you say that?” - -“I’ll tell you,” he said, pushing me into a chair. “Sit down there where -I can watch your face, an’ I’ll tell you. How long have I known you, -Bones?” - -“Nearly two years,” I said. - -“An’ how well do I know you?” - -“Don’t know,” I replied. “You tell me.” - -“I will. I know you as well as this! I’ll eat my boots if you are a -souper.” - -“Souper?” - -“If you were an Irishman, you’d know what that means. It’s a fellow who -changes his religion to keep his lands.” - -“But I haven’t changed my religion, Doc.” - -“No,” said he, “but you’ve done as bad. Yesterday at the trial you gave -away your pal.” - -“Don’t rake all that up again,” I expostulated. “I lost my head. I got -excited, and I explained it all to you yesterday.” - -“Ay,” the Doc. teased, “and it was that same explanation that kept me -awake last night. You’re a queer sort of man to lose your head at a -trial, you that’s been a magistrate in Burma since Heaven knows when.” - -“It was so sudden, Doc.” - -“Maybe. But if you cut your finger now, and suddenly asked me to bandage -it, d’you think I’d lose my head? Why, it’s my work! Sudden or slow, -it’s all the same to me. And sudden or slow, your work’s all the same to -you. You didn’t lose your head!” - -“Then I must be a souper,” I sighed. - -“You’re _not_,” he said. “I know you better.” - -I sat silent. - -“Besides,” he went on, “Hill and you were hobnobbing together this -morning. _I_ saw you—laughing fit to burst, an’ as thick as thieves.” - -“Perhaps he has forgiven me,” I suggested. - -“No use, Bones! No use at all. As certain as I’m sitting here you two -are up to something together. Now what is it?” - -I did not answer. - -“Bones,” he pleaded, “if this is a joke an’ you leave me out in the -cold, I’ll never forgive you. I’ll—I’ll die of grief an’ come back to -manifest on ye when I’m dead. What were ye laughing about like that, you -and Hill? When I see two fellows in your position as happy as larks, I -want to share! Why—you’re laughing now! It’s a ramp, I’m sure it’s a -ramp! For pity’s sake let me in! I’ll keep it as dark as Erebus! Let me -help you. Is there anything I can do?” - -“I daresay there is, Doc., but you might burn your fingers.” - -“Blow my fingers!” he said. “You _must_ tell me now! If you don’t -I’ll—I’ll go straight to Maule and tell him my suspicions.” - -“You souper!” said I. “Just to keep you from harming us with your -confounded theories, I’ll have to tell you as much as is good for you. -You remember the revolver stunt?” - -He nodded. - -“This is an extension of it. We are looking for a buried treasure for -the Turks. We wanted to get moved away from the rest of the camp so as -to have peace to carry out our plans and do the thing in style. The -trial was just a ramp to get us moved. It was all rehearsed beforehand.” - -“Gosh!” Doc. cried, “so the Pimple is in the know with you?” - -“_And_ the Commandant,” I said. - -“What?” Doc. shouted. - -“_And_ the Commandant,” I repeated. “He was playing a part, too.” - -Doc. jumped to his feet, stared at me a moment, and then a broad grin -spread over his face, and he broke into the first steps of an Irish jig, -cavorting his delight in a sort of speechless ecstasy. - -He stopped, suddenly grave. “Was I the only one who made a fool of -myself?” he asked anxiously. “What about the other witnesses, Winnie and -Gilchrist and Peel? Were they in the know?” - -“Not a bit,” I said. “You four were the audience, all in the outer -darkness together, and you did very well indeed, thank you!” - -“But we gave you away!” - -“You were intended to do that,” I said. - -The Doc. began to laugh again. “Oh, Bones,” he gasped, “what benighted -fools we’ve been! Now, if you love me, tell me all about it.” - -“No time for that, Doc.,” I said, “but read this and you’ll know as much -as the Turks.” I handed him the record of our séances with the Pimple, -and went on with my packing. - -When he had finished reading, he came over and sat down beside me. - -“Bones,” he said, “I’m hanged if I see what you are driving at yet. But -it’s the ramp of the century. Is there any mortal thing I can do to help -you?” - -“There is, Doc.! You’ve been in the Commandant’s private house. Describe -it to me, carefully.” - -He did so. “Anything else?” he asked. - -I shook my head. - -“Look here, Bones.” The little man had grown suddenly solemn. “I know -the Commandant; I’ve treated him as a doctor, and I know him. He’s -dangerous—a bad man. And as for the Cook, he’s a limb of Satan! He’ll -poison or shoot you as soon as look at you. I don’t want to spoil a -joke, but you’re running a risk—a hell of a risk. You’ve compromised -them with their own War Office, and if they find out you are bluffing -them about this treasure, don’t blame me if it’s good-bye.” - -“That reminds me,” I said; “there _is_ one other thing I want you to do -for us. If we send out of prison to ask for medicine, don’t give it; -_insist_ on coming to see us.” He nodded. “And don’t you worry, Doc.! -We’re coming through all right, and it’ll be a top-hole ramp, anyway.” - -“How far is it going to lead you?” he asked. - -“Sufficient unto the day!” I said. “We don’t know.” - -Doc. burst out laughing and smacked me hard between the shoulders. - -“Bones, ye vagabond,” he cried, “I believe you _are_ an Irishman after -all!” - - * * * * * - -At 3 p.m. our twenty-four hours of grace expired. Once more we went to -the Commandant’s office—Hill and I and the four witnesses. The last act -of the little comedy was played. The Commandant began with a graphic -picture of the horrors of a Turkish prison and the monotony of a -bread-and-water diet. It was excellently done, and calculated to give -the most phlegmatic of Britishers cold shudders down the spine. Then he -told us how much he loved us prisoners, and would we spare him the pain -of putting us in jail by giving up the name he wanted? Hill and I were -models of firmness in our refusal. Kiazim Bey, with a gesture of -hopelessness, indicated he could do no more for us. Then came the -sentence. The common jail for the present would remain in abeyance, but -until we saw fit to confess we would be confined in a back room of the -“Colonels’ House”—a large empty building opposite the office. We would -be allowed no communication whatever with other prisoners, and no -orderly, but we might have our clothes and bedding. We would not be -permitted to write or receive any letters. To begin with, our food could -be sent in by the nearest prisoners’ house. If we remained obdurate, we -would later sample a bread-and-water diet. No walks and no privileges of -any kind, and the threat of a further court-martial and a severer -sentence by Constantinople over our heads! - -Then something happened which neither Hill nor I had foreseen, and which -completely took our breath away. Major Gilchrist in his position as -adjutant of the camp made an exceedingly polite and grateful speech. No -doubt he thought he was being very diplomatic, for on behalf of the camp -he thanked the Commandant for the courtesy and fairness with which he -had conducted the trial and for the leniency of the sentence![19] - -After this “vote of thanks,” our four witnesses left the office. They -were good fellows, those four. They busied themselves getting up our kit -to our new quarters, and seeing the room swept out and all made -comfortable for us. While they were doing so, Hill and I and the -Commandant and the Pimple were having a noble time together, recalling -the various incidents in the trial and congratulating each other on our -successful performances. The Commandant thought it all the best joke of -his life, and he made us repeat several times Gilchrist’s pæan of -praise, rocking in his chair with laughter. - -At last there was a trampling in the hall below. The Chaoush had amassed -a guard sufficiently strong to escort us two desperadoes across the -street, and was waiting, so the Commandant shook hands with us in turn. - -“Remember, my friends,” he said, “you have but to ask for anything you -want, and you will get it.” - -Then we were marched across to our new prison, the first men in history, -so far as we knew, to be sentenced for thought-reading. - - - - - CHAPTER XII - - OF THE COMRADES WE HAD LEFT BEHIND AND HOW POSH - CASTLE PLAYED THE RAVEN - - -Our new prison was one of the best built houses in Yozgad, empty of all -furniture, it is true (except the chair and table we had each brought -with us), but large, airy, and comparatively clean. From the front -windows we had a view of the Commandant’s office and the main street. -From the side we looked into “Posh Castle,” where now lived our friends -Doc., Price and Matthews; and at the back there was a tiny cobbled yard, -with high walls round it, and a large stone horse-trough, which we -promptly converted into that real luxury—a full-length bath. To the -south-east we had a wide view of the distant pine-woods, and nearer at -hand a certain grey rock projected through the snow on the slope of -South hill. Under its shadow lay the first clue to the treasure. - -Indoors, if we wished it, we could each have a bedroom, a dining-room -and a study, and still leave a spare suite for the chance guest. -Furniture? Simple enough! Move your chair and table to wherever you want -to sit, and there you are! When we arrived some of our friends were -waiting to see the last of us. Our escort hustled them out. The door -slammed, the key grated in the lock, and a sentry took up his stand -outside. Our separation from the camp was complete, and our solitary -confinement had begun. - -It was natural that Hill and I should be elated at the success of our -plan. The simultaneous hoodwinking of friend and foe had for us an -amusing side. But mingled with our elation and our amusement was a -feeling which no loyalty to our friends in the camp could suppress. For -we rejoiced, above all, in our loneliness, in our freedom from -interruption, in the fact that we were quit of the others. I make the -confession knowing that any fellow-prisoner who chances on this story -will understand and sympathize. The longing for a little solitude was -shared by us all. - -It must not be imagined that the prison walls of Yozgad enclosed a -company of particularly obnoxious irreconcilables, or that we were a -shiftless crew who gave in to the discomforts of their situation. Far -from it. A more companionable set of men never existed, and during our -stay in Yozgad we overcame every difficulty but one. For instance: to -begin with, there was an entire absence of furniture. Yozgad was no -Donnington Hall, and the Turks provided nothing but a roof to our heads, -and a bare floor—sometimes of stone—for us to lie on. The camp purchased -empty grocery boxes, acquired a saw, a hammer, a plane, and nails, and -some of our prisoners evolved designs in chairs and tables and beds -which would have done credit to Maple’s. Our food, both in quality and -price, was appalling; we learned to cook, and before we left Yozgad -there were Messes which could turn out on occasion a five-course dinner -that left nothing to be desired. We had no games. Busy penknives soon -remedied the deficiency; chessmen, draughts, roulette-wheels, toboggans, -looges, skis, hockey-sticks, and hockey-balls were turned out to meet -the demand. There was no end to the ingenuity of individuals in -supplying their wants or adding to their few comforts. We had cobblers -of every grade, from an artist like Colonel Maule, who made himself a -pair of rope-soled shoes, to “Tony,” whose only boots, owing to their -patches, were of different size and vastly different design—indeed, it -required a stretch of the imagination to realize they had once been a -pair. We had knitters who could unravel a superfluous “woolly” and -convert it into excellent socks, heels and all. We had tailors whose -efforts (being circumscribed by the paucity of cloth) would have brought -tears of delight to the eyes of Joseph. In every house there was an -embryo Harrod who kept a “store” containing everything, “from a needle -to an anchor,” that the Turks would allow him to buy, and an accountant -who evolved a system of book-keeping and book-transfer of debts which -enabled those under a temporary financial cloud (a thing to which we -were all subject, thanks to the irregularity of the Ottoman post) to -continue making necessary purchases until the next cheque arrived. - -[Illustration: “THE SNOW ON THE SLOPE OF SOUTH HILL”—THE SITE OF THE -FIRST CLUE TO THE TREASURE] - -These were all material difficulties, and easily adjusted. Our chief -problem was how to pass the time. It was tackled in a similar spirit and -with nearly equal success. We had four-a-side hockey tournaments[20] and -(when the Turks allowed) walks, picnics, tobogganing, and ski-ing. There -was one glorious point-to-point ski race over the snow-clad hills, with -flag-wagging signallers along the course, bookmakers and a selling -sweep, and to cap it all a magnificent close finish. That was a -red-letter day. Later on there was to be a Hunt Club, with long dogs and -foxes and hares complete. - -For indoor amusement we wrote dramas, gay and serious, melodramas, -farces and pantomimes. We had scene-painters whose art took us back to -England (we could sit all day looking at the “village-green” scene). We -had an orchestra of prison-made instruments, a prison-trained male-voice -choir and musicians to write the music for them. Artists, song-writers, -lecturers, poets, historians, novelists, actors, dramatists, musicians -and critics—especially critics—all these we evolved in the effort to -keep our minds from rusting. Indeed, we went beyond mere amusement in -the effort: we went to school again! When at last books began to arrive -from England a library was formed, and classes were held in Mathematics, -Physics, Political Economy, French, German, Spanish, Hindustani, -Electricity, Engineering, Machine Drawing, Agriculture and Sketching. We -became a minor University, with Professors who made up in enthusiasm -what they lacked in experience. Memories of their own youth made some of -them set “home work,” and it was no uncommon thing to run across a -doughty warrior, most unacademically dressed in ragged khaki, seeking in -vain for some quiet corner of the garden where he might wrestle -uninterrupted with the latest vagaries of _x_, or convert into graceful -Urdu a sonorous passage from the _Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire_. - -Nor did we await the tardy arrival of books to commence our education. -Barely had we settled down in Yozgad when some genius realised that the -hundred officers and men whom the Turk had collected haphazard within -our prison walls possessed amongst them a rich and varied experience. -Our genius had a persuasive tongue. He organized lectures. Once a week, -after dinner, we of the Upper House gathered in the only place that -would hold us all together—the landing. It was unfurnished, dark, and -draughty. Each man brought his own chair, each room provided a candle or -a home-made lamp. Wrapped in blankets, rugs, bedquilts, sheepskins, -anything we possessed to keep out the cold, and packed together like -sardines, we settled down to what in those days was the one entrancing -hour in the dull week. And what lectures those were! With men who had -done or helped to do these things we entered the Forbidden City and -shared in the taking of Pekin, combated sleeping-sickness in Central -Africa, tea-planted in Ceylon, cow-punched in America, chased criminals -in Burma, joined in the Jameson Raid, fruit-farmed in Kent, organized an -army for an Indian Princeling, defended a great Channel Port, fought in -a Frontier War, went geologizing in the Sudan, and trained the Rangoon -river. We controlled in turn a Royal Mint, a great jute mill, a battery -of Field Artillery, a colour-photography studio, a submarine, a -police-court in England, a wireless telegraphy station, a pork factory, -a torpedo-boat, and a bee-farm. - -[Illustration: “WE HAD FOUR-A-SIDE HOCKEY TOURNAMENTS”] - -The list is not exhaustive, but it may serve its turn. Such were the men -with whom we had spent nearly two years of our lives. In a month of -marching you could not fall in with company more varied, more -interesting, or more charming. Yet, because amongst the many -difficulties that had been overcome one remained unsolved, Hill and I -were glad to get away. Nothing in captivity is so distressing, so -discomforting, so impossible to allay as overcrowding, and the unhappy -consequences it brings in its train. It is a cancer that eats into the -heart of every unnatural form of society. Time is its ally, and slowly -but surely it wears down all opposition. In Yozgad we did not quarrel—we -got along without that—and we tried not to complain. But every now and -then a man would seek relief. As unostentatiously as might be he would -change his mess, and though nothing was said, we all knew why. He knew, -and we knew, that he was not getting rid of the bonds that were so -irksome. He was merely seeking to exchange the old for the new pattern -of handcuff, in the hope that it would not gall him in the same raw -spot, and we could sympathize with him. Your neighbour may be the most -excellent of good fellows, but if he is jogging your elbow for every -hour of the twenty-four you will begin to look askance at him. Little -idiosyncracies that would pass unmarked in ordinary life assume the -magnitude of positive faults. Faults grow into unendurable sins. The -fine qualities of the man—his endurance, his courage, his cheerfulness, -his generosity—are lost to sight under the cloud of minor peculiarities -that close acquaintance brings into view. Indeed, in time, his very -virtues may be counted unto him as vices. His stoicism becomes a “pose,” -his cheerfulness is “tomfoolery,” his generosity “softness,” his courage -“rashness“! We _knew_ the worth of the men beside us, but we were being -forced to examine them under the microscope. So we were in constant -danger of taking the part for the whole, and of losing all sense of -proportion. Z was a glorious leader of men: we forgot it—because he -snored in his sleep! Distance lends enchantment, because it puts things -into their true proportions. To realize the grandeur of a mountain the -climber must stand back from it, at least once in a while. And so it is -with character. - -I do not know if others—leaders of Arctic Expeditions, for instance—are -wont to succeed much better than we did in solving the problems of -maintaining feelings of mutual respect amongst their company. Certain it -is they have a great advantage over us, because, for them, the close -companionship is voluntary and (what is more important) necessary to the -attainment of a common object. For us, it was compulsory, and the common -object that palliates it was entirely wanting. But we did our best. -Outwardly we succeeded; there was no public break in the harmony of our -camp. Yet in our hearts every one of us knew that he had failed, and -that our only achievement had been to fail in a very gentlemanly way. - -Our new-found solitude came to Hill and myself in a good hour, while the -friendships we had formed in the camp were green and the canker-worm of -super-intimacy still in its infancy. For we had left behind many friends -and, as far as we knew, no enemies. In front of us stretched a prospect -of an indefinite period of unrelieved companionship with one another. -What dangers to our mutual friendship this involved we knew too well. -But we had that on our side which would have relieved the camp of its -most serious trouble—a common aim. We no longer merely existed. We were -partners in a great enterprise. There was something definite for which -to work, something which would compensate us for every hardship—our hope -of freedom. - -Absurd as it may seem, Hill and I felt not only happier, but actually -freer in our new prison than we had done in the camp. On the face of -things there was no excuse for this feeling, for outwardly we were more -closely confined than ever. In order to give a fitting air of -verisimilitude to his proceedings, Kiazim Bey had issued the strictest -orders to our sentries. Indeed, he went rather out of his way to -describe us as a pair of desperate characters, and so upset the nerves -of our old “gamekeepers” that for the first few days of our confinement -they marched up and down outside our house, instead of snoozing in their -sentry-boxes as they had been accustomed to do. The genial, wizened -little Corporal, Ahmed Onbashi, whose duty it was to verify the presence -of all prisoners night and morning, lost all the _bonhomie_ which had -made him a favourite, and for at least a week we saw no more of him than -a wrinkled nose and a single anxious eye peering at us round the gently -opened door of our room. But as the days passed by and we showed no -signs of hostility, he gradually regained his old confidence. His escort -dropped from two veterans with rifles at the “ready” to the accustomed -one with no rifle at all. At last he came one night boldly into the -room, and catching sight of our spook-board propped against the wall, he -pointed a grimy finger at it, shook his head at us, and uttered one of -the very few Turkish phrases that was understood of all the -camp—_“Yessack! Chôk fena!”_ (Forbidden! Very bad!) From which we -learned that the cause of our downfall was known to our humble -custodian. - -The stricter surveillance did not in the least affect our happiness for -it had been suggested by the Spook, and our present circumstances were -of our own choosing. We knew that, within certain limits, we could -lighten or tighten our bonds as we pleased, for we had gained some -control over the forces that controlled us. We were no longer utterly -and entirely under the orders of the un-get-at-able Turk. We had the -Spook as an ally, and the Spook could make the Commandant sit up. - -There was another reason, deeper and more permanent, for this curious, -instinctive sense of increased liberty which came to us, and expressed -itself in the enthusiastic enjoyment with which we submitted to a more -stringent form of imprisonment. At the time we could not have put the -reason into words, but it was there all the same, and it was this: so -far as we ourselves were concerned, we were well on the way to correct -the one serious mistake which the camp as a whole had committed. It was -the mistake that lies at the core of all tragedies. We in Yozgad had put -the lesser before the greater good, our duty to ourselves, as prisoners, -before our duty to ourselves, as men, and to our country. For reasons -that have been stated it was considered wrong to attempt to escape. The -general feeling was that there was no choice but to wait for peace with -such patience as we could muster. We all knew the value of what we had -lost when we surrendered to the Turk. But not one of us realized clearly -that since our capture we had surrendered something infinitely more -precious than physical freedom. It was not the supremacy of the Turk but -our own recognition of it and our resignation to captivity that made us -moral as well as physical prisoners. We did not see that in giving up -_trying_ to free ourselves we were giving up our one hope of happiness -until peace came. So that in spite of the outward cheerfulness, the -brave attempts at industry, and the gallant struggle against the -deterioration that a prison environment brings, an atmosphere of -hopelessness pervaded the whole camp. At heart, we were all unhappy, for -we had created for ourselves an “Inevitable.” The camp had built a -prison within a prison, and he who wished to run had to defeat the -vigilance of his own comrades before he could tackle the Turk. It is -perhaps too much to say that it is a man’s duty to escape, but certainly -it is _not_ his duty to bar the way to escape either for himself or for -anyone else. Had every prisoner in Yozgad bent his energies to achieve -freedom not only for himself but for his fellows, things would have been -very different in the camp. Strafed the camp might have been, but it -would have been in its duty, happy in discomfort instead of miserable in -comparative ease, and welded into unity by a common aim. Prisoners most -of us would have remained, but not beaten captives; the victims of -misfortune, but not its slaves. - -In getting away from the camp Hill and I had gained a new and more -cheerful outlook. But we did not realize that we had already broken down -the walls of our moral prison. There was no time to analyse the causes -of our happiness. We were obsessed with the immediate situation, and -especially with the necessity of getting the proof of Kiazim Bey’s -complicity which would make the camp safe. Kiazim was not an easy man to -trap: up to date there was nothing he could not explain by a theory of -collusion between his subordinates and ourselves. He was perfectly -capable of sacrificing the Pimple in order to save his own skin. He -could range himself alongside Gilchrist and the other witnesses, and -pose as the victim of a plot in which he had had no share. When alone -with us he was as frank and open as a man could be. But we had no proof -of his share in the plot. With typical Oriental cunning he kept himself -well in the background. There was no hope of getting him to commit -himself in the presence of others; yet, by hook or by crook, we must -produce independent evidence that he was implicated in the -treasure-hunt. - -Weeks ago we had conceived the idea of snapshotting Kiazim Bey, his -satellites and ourselves, digging for the hidden gold. Cameras are a -luxury forbidden to prisoners of war, but Hill had made one out of a -chocolate box and half a lens, to fit films which a fellow-prisoner -possessed.[21] The drawback to the camera was its bulk—it measured about -twelve inches each way—which rendered concealment difficult. He had had -serious thoughts of making the attempt with this as a last resort, but -found a better way. On our first night in the Colonel’s House Hill put -into my hands a Vest-Pocket Kodak, belonging to Wright, which somehow or -another had escaped notice at the time of the latter’s capture. Films to -fit it had arrived in a parcel, and Hill had palmed them under the nose -of the Turkish censor while “helping” him to unpack. He explained to me -that as the films were his own, and the camera without films was only a -danger to Wright, he had “borrowed” it for our purposes without asking -permission. It contained three films still unexposed—which would prove -three ropes for the neck of Kiazim Bey, or for that of the photographer, -according as the Goddess of Fortune smiled on Britisher or Turk. - -It is not easy to take a group photograph at seven paces (the limit, we -reckoned, for recognition of the figures) without somebody noticing what -is being done. Discovery would be dangerous, for we were now very much -in the Commandant’s power. It was no new idea to the Turkish mind, as we -knew from the Pimple, to get rid of a man by shooting him on the plea -that he was attempting escape; and in our case the camp was more than -likely to believe the excuse. Besides, there are many other Oriental -ways of doing away with undesirables, and if Kiazim Bey caught us trying -to trap him he would regard us as _extremely_ undesirable. Now that we -were actually up against the situation it looked much less amusing than -it had done from the security of the camp. - -“It’s neck or nothing,” I grumbled. “If we’re spotted everything goes -smash, and we’ll probably be in for it. I’m hanged if those fellows in -the camp who cussed us for nuisances are worth the risk.” - -We were still pondering gloomy possibilities when heavy footsteps -sounded on our stairs, and paused on the landing outside. - -_“Htebsi-gituriorum-effendiler-htebsi-i-i.”_ - -Hill and I looked at each other. The noise was like nothing on earth. - -_“Htebsi-gituriorum-htebsi-i-i-i,”_ again. - -“Somebody sneezing, I think,” said Hill, and opened the door. - -It was the Commandant’s second orderly. We never knew his name, so -because he was in rags, and looked starved, and had the biggest feet in -Asia, we called him “Cinderella” for short. - -In his hands was an enormous blue tray, piled with enamel dishes, from -which came a most appetising odour of baked meats. Cinderella advanced -cautiously into the room. He was obviously afraid of us two criminals, -but he was much more nervous about the tray. He wore the look I have -seen on the face of a bachelor holding a baby, and seemed to expect -everything to come to pieces in his great hands. Very gingerly he sidled -round the table, keeping it between him and ourselves, and placed the -tray upon it. - -_“Htebsi!”_ he said again with a sigh of relief, and pointing to the -tray he left us. - -“He was not sneezing after all, Bones. _‘Htebsi’_ must mean grub or -something. Let’s see.” Hill began to uncover the dishes, I helping him. - -“Soup!” said he. - -“Meat—roast mutton!” said I, lifting a second cover. - -“Potatoes—by Jove!” - -“Nettle-top spinach!!” - -“Chocolate pudding!!!” Hill cried. - -I peered into the only remaining dish—a small jug. - -“Coffee!” I gasped, and collapsed into a chair. Compared with our -customary dinner it was a feast for the gods. It came, as we knew, from -“Posh Castle,” for under the Spook’s instructions the Commandant had -requested that mess to send us food. It was the nearest prisoners’ house -and therefore, we thought, it was the natural thing for the Commandant -to do. Of course, we had no manner of claim on “Posh Castle,” but as we -were putting ourselves to a certain amount of trouble for the sake of -the camp, we had considered it right and proper they should do our -cooking for us for a day or two. But we had not reckoned on their -killing the fatted calf in this way, and our consciences pricked us. - -“This,” said Hill in a very contrite voice, “this is the work of old -Price——” - -“Who believes in the Spook,” I groaned. “I’ve been stuffing him with -lies for a year.” - -“Oh, what a pair of swine we are,” we said together. - -I took the camera from under the mattress where I had hidden it when -Cinderella appeared, and gave it back to Hill. - -“I think, Hill, that risk or no risk——” - -“Of _course_!” he snapped at me. “It’s _got_ to be done now! And if it -comes off, Posh Castle gets the photos. Have some soup?” - -It was a merry dinner, and the coffee at the end was nectar. - -“Now,” said Hill, by way of grace after meat, “let us begin to minimize -that risk. Watch me!” - -[Illustration: THE “POSH CASTLE MESS” WHO FED US IN OUR IMPRISONMENT] - -For fifteen minutes I stood over him, my eyes on his clever hands, -watching for a glimpse of the camera as over and over again he took it -out, opened it, sighted it, closed it, and returned it to his pocket. I -rarely saw it until it was ready in position, and then only the lens -peeped through his fingers, but when I did I told him. It was the first -of a series of daily practices. - -“Once I know the feel of it I’ll do better,” he said at the end; “I -should be pretty good in about three weeks.” - -“You’re pretty good now, but where does my part come in?” - -“You’ll have to talk like a blooming machine-gun, to drown the click of -the shutter, and——” Hill grinned and paused. - -“Yes?” - -“Well, if it is a dull day, it will be a time exposure, and you’ll have -to _pose_ the blighters, of course.” - -I retired to my corner to think it out. - - - - - CHAPTER XIII - - IN WHICH THE PIMPLE LEARNS HIS FUTURE LIES IN EGYPT - - -We started our sojourn in the Colonels’ House with a great many irons in -the fire. As an essential preliminary to our main plan we had the -photograph to take, and in case any of the hundred and one possible -accidents happened to the films, we must provide subsidiary evidence of -Kiazim’s complicity. The main plan was, of course, to escape from -Turkey. Our first aim was to persuade the Turks to convey us east, -southeast, or south (the exact direction and distance would depend upon -their convenience, but we hoped for about 300 miles) in the search for -the treasure. Once within reasonable distance of safety we could trust -to our legs. In case our persuasive powers proved inadequate for this -rather tough proposition, we must simultaneously develop our second -alternative. We must simulate some illness which would warrant our -exchange. We fixed, provisionally, on madness. A third alternative, also -requiring simultaneous development, was compassionate release. If we -could get pressure from without brought to bear on the Turkish -Government they might, on the Fitzgerald precedent, compensate us with -freedom for our absurd imprisonment. - -The first thing to do was to get news to England of our trial and -sentence. We calculated enquiries might be expected at earliest about -the middle of May. If, up to that time, we had failed to get the -Commandant to move us from Yozgad, we were prepared to swear at the -first breath of investigation that his real reason in imprisoning us had -been to force us to use our mediumistic powers to find the treasure. In -proof, we would produce the photograph (if that was successful), say he -had put us on bread and water, and show our “tortured” bodies. Indeed, -we arranged to burn each other, when the time came, with red-hot coins, -so as to have fresh scars to exhibit. It was a low-down plan, and we did -not want to resort to it, to its full extent, until the last, but we -were ready for it, if needs must and the others failed. It depended, of -course, on enquiries being instituted from England. - -In addition to the preparation of these three lines of escape, we had to -keep up the interest of the Turks in the treasure, and to render -absolute their belief in the powers of the Spook. In the event of -success in this we decided, until we said good-bye to Yozgad, to assume -the Commandant’s functions. We would, in the Spook’s name, take charge -of the camp, increase its house-room, add to its liberties and -privileges, improve its relations with the Turks, prevent parcel and -money robbery, rid it of the Pimple, whom everybody cordially hated, and -(as an act of poetic justice for what had been done to us) put its -senior officer on parole! (All this we did.) All the time we must be -eternally on the watch against making the slightest slip which would -betray either the fact that we ourselves were the Spook, or that we had -any ulterior motive in our spiritualism. Lastly, and most difficult of -all, we had to be ready at a moment’s notice to checkmate any well-meant -attempt at interference by our comrades in the camp. - -An ambitious programme, perhaps, but not too ambitious. After the -telepathy trial, anything ought to be possible. - -The 8th of March was a busy day for Hill. As the practical man of the -combine he had to manufacture a new spook-board (the old one had to be -left behind in the camp) and also a semaphore apparatus, for we had -arranged (should occasion arise) to signal to Matthews, who lived across -the way in Posh Castle. While Hill worked I submitted for his criticism -various plans by which our aims might be attained. Next day the Pimple -came in and sat chatting for a couple of hours. He told us that after -his effort at the trial the Commandant had suffered from a bad go of -nerves, and had lain awake all night wondering what Constantinople would -say, and what Colonel Maule would write in his next sealed letter to -headquarters. Kiazim’s one ambition in life now was to get out of the -treasure-hunt and send us mediums back to the camp. But he could not -risk his own prestige by doing so. - -“Pah!” said the Pimple, “he is—what you call it?—_très poltron_!” - -“I don’t know German,” said I. - -“That is French,” the Pimple explained gravely. “It means what you call -‘windy beggar.‘” - -This sort of thing would never do! We held a séance. The Spook began at -once to fan Kiazim’s waning courage. It pointed out that the task of the -mediums was to get thoroughly in tune one with another, but that this -was quite impossible so long as the Commandant created cross-currents of -thought-waves by worrying. The Commandant, the Pimple, the Cook, and the -two mediums—all, in fact, who were concerned to find the treasure—_must_ -remain tranquil in mind or success would be impossible. Let their trust -in the Spook be absolute, and all would be easy. Was not the Unseen -working for us night and day? Whence came Gilchrist’s pæan of praise for -the verdict? Surely the Commandant recognized that it had been put into -his mouth by the Spirit to act as a bar to any further protest about the -conviction? Thus had Gilchrist been firmly committed as a supporter of -the Commandant’s view. And so with Colonel Maule. The Spook was pained -at the Commandant’s fear of Maule: for was not Maule’s mind already -under control? Did Kiazim imagine that the Spook was idle except at -séances? Why, Maule’s head had been carefully filled with ideas by the -Unseen Power: he was a plaything in the Spook’s hands. It had been an -easy matter to put him in the same boat as Kiazim, to get him to stop -all “spooking” in the camp,[22] to make him place Hill and Jones on -parole not to telepathize or escape from Yozgad. - -Here the Pimple interrupted the séance. - -“Did you two give paroles to Colonel Maule?” he asked. - -“Yes,” I said, affecting surprise. “How on earth do you know? Did Maule -tell you?” - -“The glass has just written it,” said Moïse triumphantly; “from the -Spirit nothing is hidden.” (Then to the Spook): “Go on, sir.” - -The Spook went on. As a final, though quite unnecessary, protection for -the Commandant, it promised to control the mediums (Hill and myself) to -write letters to England in praise of their new quarters. If the -_mediums_ did not complain of their treatment nobody else could do so -with any effect. Let these letters be copied and sent through without -delay in the censoring, that they might counteract any chance complaint -from the camp which escaped the notice of the Spook. - -The séance achieved its end. The Commandant had not previously realized -that Gilchrist had been acting under the Spook’s influence, nor had he -known about the parole. He was therefore much pleased to find that the -Spook was taking so much trouble on his behalf, and had such powers of -controlling people. The letters, he thought, were an excellent idea. We -thought so too, and we wrote plenty of them. Every letter was loud in -its praises of the Turk, but the eulogies cloaked a very pretty cipher -which informed our friends at home of our absurd conviction and asked -for an enquiry. And every letter went off by the first mail after it had -been written—a good fortnight ahead of those of the rest of the camp -which, as the Pimple confessed to us, were regularly held back at Yozgad -for local censoring. We thus created an express service of our own, and -by its means sowed the seeds for our “Compassionate Release” stunt. We -have since learnt what happened to these letters. They reached England -in good time; they were submitted to very high quarters by my father, -and he was solemnly advised to take no action, on the grounds that to -betray knowledge of our fate would result in making the Turks believe we -had secret means of communication with England, a belief that might have -awkward consequences for us! So nothing was done. Luckily we did not -know, and had always the pleasure of hoping for the best, which was good -for us—it kept our courage up. - -We were now in smooth water again, and proceeded to make ourselves as -comfortable as possible. The country was still under snow, and the -charcoal brazier over which we warmed ourselves was quite inadequate for -our needs. Considering we were going to present the Turks with a -treasure worth, according to the Spook, £28,000, this was absurdly mean -treatment. The Spook ordered us a stove—a real big one—and we got it! -Donkey-loads of wood were bought for us in the bazaar, at cheap rates. -The Cook was put on fatigue by the Spook, and made to chop the wood up -for us, to light the fire of a morning before we were out of bed, to -sweep out our rooms, to run messages to the bazaar, and generally to -attend to our comfort. He was delighted to do it. He even brought us -some very pleasing dishes of Turkish food, and two kerosine lamps, with -an ample supply of oil. The camp had been without kerosine for a year or -more. We had burned crude Afion oil—a thick and very messy vegetable -oil—which gave a miserable light and made reading after dark more of a -toil than a pleasure. The new lamps were a real luxury, and our -enjoyment of them was not lessened by the Pimple’s explanation that the -kerosine was really a Turkish Government issue for prisoners, but as its -price in the market was fabulous the Commandant did not issue it to the -camp. He kept it for pin money! - -There is no doubt we could have obtained anything the Spook ordered, -short of freedom. But we took care the Spook should not order too much. -Even in Turkey there is such a thing as “obtaining money by false -pretences,” and it would never do to have such motives ascribed to us, -should an enquiry be held. The Spook therefore announced that after a -short period our diet would be reduced to dry bread. The alleged object -of the low diet was “to increase clairvoyant powers.”[23] It promised to -incite a certain officer to persuade the Commandant to stop the food -from Posh Castle, so that the onus of our starvation should rest on the -camp and not on the Turks. “Further,” said the Spook, “the mediums must -remember to accept no monetary gain. They must pay cost price for all -they receive. They should expect and accept only acts of kindness which -cost nothing. Nor must they hope for a reward for their services in -money or its equivalent. Their reward will come later.... When their -time comes to pass over to other spheres the knowledge they have thus -gained will be worth more to them than all the riches in Asia.” - -“Why?” Moïse asked. “What is the reason they cannot get money?” - -“In order to confine the study to true seekers after knowledge,” the -Spook explained, “there must be no _arrière pensée_.“ - -The Cook was very much interested in the fact that we were to get none -of the treasure. He questioned Moïse very carefully on the point. He was -anxious to make sure that there was no possibility of a -misunderstanding, and no chance of our claiming a share later. He was -frankly out for business, was this “limb of Satan,” and quite openly -delighted at the Spook’s orders. - -And now an incident occurred which both amused and impressed the -Commandant. One of the most capable officers in the camp got an idea -which he no doubt fondly imagined would regain us our liberty. He acted -on it with the promptitude for which he was renowned. He informed the -Commandant, through the Interpreter, that Jones and Hill were a pair of -infernal practical jokers, that they were lazy beggars who disliked -cooking and had thrown the trouble of it on the camp in general and Posh -Castle in particular, and that therefore they were confounded nuisances. -There was no manner of doubt, he said, but that they were simply pulling -the Commandant’s leg in order to live a life of ease, and his obvious -plan was to send them back to the camp and let their fellow-prisoners -deal with them as they deserved, or to make them do their own cooking. - -Had the Commandant not been “in the know” our friend’s tactics might -well have resulted in our being sent back to the camp. As it was, Kiazim -Bey was vastly tickled at the theory of a leg-pull against himself, and -pointed out to us with immense joy that the boot was on the other foot, -and that _he_ had successfully pulled the camp’s leg. Moreover, the -episode redounded to the credit of the Spook, who had promised to send -this very officer to complain about the trouble of sending us food. (We -had received a hint that he might do so, but of that hint the Turks -were, of course, in complete ignorance.) The Commandant was firmly -convinced that his visitor had been acting under the Spirit’s control, -as promised, and he was correspondingly impressed. When questioned about -it the Spook modestly admitted responsibility, but explained that from -now on It wished to do as little as possible of this “outside control -work” in order to avoid “loss of force” which would be more usefully -employed in finding the treasure. - -At the end of the second séance, which also was devoted to soothing the -Commandant’s difficulties and fears, there was a scene. The Pimple -announced that he also had some private difficulties on which he wished -to consult the Spook. So private were they that he had written them out, -and would not utter them aloud. The Spirit would no doubt read the paper -and answer them privately. Before I could formulate an excuse Hill, to -my surprise, assented, and asked Moïse to place the paper of questions -under the spook-board in the usual way. Moïse put his hand in his -pocket, and then sprang to his feet in wild excitement, and began a -search through all his pockets. - -“_Mon Dieu!_” he cried. “I am spooked! It is gone!” He rushed about the -room, looking under the table, in the cupboards, in the -teapot—everywhere possible and impossible. Then he went through his -pockets again and sank half hysterical on to my bed. - -“Oh, _mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!_” he cried. “What shall I do? What shall I -do?” - -“What on earth’s the matter?” I was completely puzzled. - -“My questions! Oh, my questions! They are gone! I am spooked!” - -It was a difficult task not to laugh. I knew Hill was sitting with a -face like a blank wall, but I dared not look at him. - -“Are you sure you brought them?” I asked. - -The Pimple jumped up again. “I wrote them in the office,” he cried, -dancing with excitement, “and then I came here! Certainly I brought -them!” - -There was a sudden crash and two distinct thumps on the landing outside. -The noise sounded very loud in the empty house. We all looked at one -another. - -“What was that?” the Pimple whispered. - -“It’s the Spooks, I think,” said I. “We often hear noises at night. But -I’ll see.” I took up a spare candle and lit it. - -“Be careful!” said Hill solemnly. - -“Oh, be careful!” echoed the Pimple, who was badly scared. - -I knew no more than the others what the noise could be, and I felt -curiously nervous as I opened the door. The Pimple’s fear was -infectious. - -Outside on the landing we had a high shelf where we kept our bread. -Owing to some unknown cause—it may have been the Pimple’s agitated -dancing in our room—a loaf had fallen off the shelf and bumped down two -of the steps of our wooden stair. I picked it up and replaced it -quietly. - -“There was nobody to see,” I said very solemnly, coming back into the -room, “but one thing I know and will swear—that noise was not human! -There’s danger abroad tonight!” - -“I _knew_ I was spooked,” groaned the Pimple. “Oh, what shall I do?” - -“You may have left your questions in the office, where you wrote them,” -Hill suggested. - -This scared the Pimple worse than ever. He grabbed his Enver cap and -started for the door. The blackness of the night outside stopped him. He -came back and looked at us appealingly. - -“You say there is danger abroad tonight: would you mind—do you think you -could——” - -“Come with you, Moïse? Certainly!” I picked up the candle and went with -him as far as the gate, whence he legged it for the office as fast as he -could go. I returned to our room, and Hill. - -“He won’t be back tonight,” I said. “The poor little fellow is -frightened half out of his wits.” - -“Say, Bones, what was the noise? How did you work it?” - -“I didn’t—it worked itself. A most inhuman loaf!” I told him about it, -and we laughed together, and discussed the séance. - -“I wonder what was in those questions he was so excited about?” I said -at last. - -Hill grinned at me. - -“Read ‘em for yourself,” said he, handing me a slip of paper. - -“How the dickens did you know he had ‘em?” I gasped. - -“Saw him fidgetin‘ with a bit of paper early in the evening—picked his -pocket when I got the chance. Read it!” - -This is what I read as soon as I recovered from my surprise: - -“Répondez-moi si vous voulez par la même voie miraculeuse que la lettre -écrite sur ma tête. Les questions que j’ai vous poser et dont je suis -anxieux d’avoir les réponses sont les suivants: - -“1^o. La difficulté que j’ai eu avec A——[24] à propos de sa femme -mercredi matin dernier en êtes vous la cause? - -“2^o. Quelles sont les pensées ou sentiments du Commandant à mon égard? - -“3^o. Aurai-je encore des histoires au sujet de la femme d’ A——?[24] - -“4^o. A propos de la dame de B——[24] aurai-je des histoires? - -“5^o. Je suis sans profession ou connaissances pratiques quelconques; -j’ai le désir de devenir quelqu’un ou quelquechose; je suis prêt à -entreprendre l’étude que vous préferez me convenir; vous êtes d’une -intelligence remarquable, merveilleuse. Veuillez me conseiller sur la -carrière que vous croyez être meilleure pour moi et sur les moyens de -travailler ou à parvenir à me créer une destination. Je vous prie -aidez-moi. - - MOÏSE TOKENAY.” - -“Pardonnez-moi si parfois j’oublie d’éxécuter vos ordres tout de suite; -ce n’est nullement par désobeisance mais par étourderie ou désaccord -avec mon chef.” - -I copied out the questions for filing in our secret records, made a tiny -mark on the back of the original so as to be able to recognize it when -met with, and handed it back to Hill. - -“Your job, Mr. Sikes,” I said, “is to get that back into the Pimple’s -possession without his knowing we have seen it.” - -Hill thought for a moment. “Will it do if he gets it before he comes in -tomorrow?” he asked. - -“Don’t be silly!” I said. “Shove it back in his pocket when he calls -tomorrow morning. You can’t do it before that, with the place ringed -with sentries.” - -“Can’t I?” said Hill. He held the paper of questions under my nose. “Now -you see it—_houp là_—now you don’t!” It had vanished. “Where is it?” - -“Up your sleeve, or something. Go to bed,” said I. - -“Wrong again.” Hill laughed, and rolled up his sleeves for inspection. -“You’ll find out tomorrow where it is.” - -The night was already far spent. We turned in. - -“Which is the Spook going to make him—a _quelqu’un_ or a -_quelquechose_?” asked Hill, as he snuggled under the blankets. - -“Take your choice,” said I. “Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor——” - -“Silk, satin, muslin, rags,” Hill murmured; “we’ll count the spuds we -get for dinner tomorrow.” - -“What for?” I asked sleepily. - -“The end of the War. This year, next year, some time, never! Good-night, -old chap.” - -Some hours later I woke. Hill’s bed was empty. I wondered drowsily what -he was up to, and went to sleep again. - -When next I opened my eyes it was morning. Hill was sleeping in his bed, -very soundly. I reached for a book and read for half an hour, then the -Pimple came in. He was humming a French song to himself, and sounded -very happy. - -“Ach, Hill, you _grand paresseux_! Awake!” - -Hill opened one eye. - -“I have good news for you both,” the Pimple went on. “The questions—I -have them!”—he tapped his pocket—“and I am glad! To have lost them would -have been dangersome. They are most private.” Then he went on to talk of -other matters. - -“Has he really got the questions?” I asked Hill, after the Pimple had -gone. - -“Oh yes,” laughed Hill. - -“How did you do it, old chap? I noticed your bed was empty about 2 ac -emma.” - -“Very simple!” he chortled. “I—no, I won’t tell you. S’pose you find out -for yourself. Of course,” he added maliciously, “you can ask the Spook -if you like.” - -And there the matter rested. It is Hill’s secret. Perhaps the reader can -solve it? - -At the next séance the Pimple produced his questions. We recognized our -identification mark on the paper as he slipped it under the board, and -took the risk that he had not altered anything inside. - -“Now, sir,” said the Pimple to the Spook, “answer, please.” - -He got his answers, and thought we were ignorant of what was said. Here -they are: - -“1. No. - -“2. Be careful. - -“3. Be careful. - -“4. Be most careful. - -“5. Your ambition is praiseworthy. Study languages and the Art of -Government. Your greatest opportunity lies in Egypt. Seize the first -chance you get of going there. Either Jones or Hill can lead you to fame -if you earn their joint friendship. By _my_ help Jones’s father raised -Lloyd George to his present supreme position. He started more humbly -than you.” - -The Pimple refused to tell us about the questions or answers. He did not -for a moment suspect that we knew anything of either. But at the end of -the séance, after a great deal of _camouflage_ talk about the camp and -the War and other matters, he led the conversation round, cleverly -enough, to Lloyd George, by telling us that an Irishman had attempted to -assassinate him. He asked if I knew him. This was what we wanted. I -showed him a photograph of the Prime Minister and my father together. -The Pimple examined it with minute care. - -“Your father—he is a spooker, too?” the Pimple asked. - -“All Welshmen are, more or less,” said I, “and he used to be top-hole at -it. Why do you ask?” - -“I wondered if perhaps he and Lloyd George had ever experimented -together.” - -“They’re continually at it,” said I. - -“Ha!” (the Pimple was quite excited) “and what was Lloyd George to begin -with, when your father first knew him?” - -“I believe he was what some people call a ‘pettifogging attorney.’” - -“And by spooking your father did much for him perhaps?” - -“I much regret, Moïse, I can’t tell you.” - -“It’s a secret, perhaps?” - -“Very much so,” said I. “Let’s talk of something else.” - -Then the Pimple told us about the Armenian massacres at Yozgad. He was a -clever little rascal in his way! For in five minutes he was telling us -how a few families had escaped to Egypt which, he had always heard, was -a wonderful country. Was it not so? Did we know anything of Egypt? - -We didn’t—but we told him quite a lot about the country of his “greatest -opportunity.” He went away very happy. - -“He has swallowed the pill without winking,” said Hill, “and what’s -more, it is working! But what’ll Lloyd George think of it? How did you -get that photograph? Does he really know your father?” - -It was my turn to be malicious. - -“S’pose you find out for yourself,” said I. “Of course, you can ask the -Spook, if you like.” - - - - - CHAPTER XIV - - WHICH INTRODUCES OOO AND TELLS WHY THE PIMPLE GOT - HIS FACE SMACKED - - -After we had been a week in solitary confinement the Spook decided we -were sufficiently “in tune” to begin the treasure-hunt. The Commandant, -now that his fears of the consequences from the telepathy trial were at -rest, had begun to show a little impatience. It was time to throw him a -sop. Besides, we had now reconnoitred the ground, and had gained a good -idea of the character of the man with whom we had to deal. We were ready -for the next fence. - -To the Turks the important part of the séances that followed was the -treasure story. To us, the treasure story was only the jam that hid the -pill. The séances were really an exposition of what goes on in all cases -of conversion to spiritualism—the development of a theory of spooking -which the Turk (quite unconsciously) made his own. We were building up, -for Kiazim Bey, the Pimple, and the Cook, an experience of spooking -which would give them the proper point of view when the time came to -propose our migration from Yozgad. For, whatever the reader may think to -the contrary, the Turk is a rational animal who, like everyone else, -judges any new idea in the light of his own previous knowledge; and so, -with infinite caution, we set to work to stuff him with the fallacious -experience that was the necessary basis for the conclusion we wished him -to reach. Had he shared the knowledge as well as the faith of some -British spiritualists, it would have saved us a great deal of time and -trouble. But as things were he had first to be taught the A B C of -spiritualism, without realizing that he was being taught anything.[25] - -Our first treasure séance in the Colonels’ House took place on the 14th -March between 5.30 and 10 p.m. After the usual preliminary greetings, -the Spook said it would explain a few things. I quote the séance record: - -SPOOK. “Death is like birth. For some time after death a person is -unable to communicate. Gradually he learns how to do so, like a child -learning to talk. Now, the more violent the death, the longer it takes -to learn; do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, we understand.” - -SPOOK. “Well, we do not use voice sounds in this sphere; we simply send -thoughts, and just as you can stop your voice from sounding, so we can -stop our thoughts from going out. Very few humans can read thoughts -among themselves; on the other hand, very few of what you call ‘spirits’ -can make their voices heard to human ears, and none can read human -thoughts except by entering into a medium. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “I think we have understood everything except the last part of -the sentence.” - -SPOOK. “By ‘entering into a medium’ I mean, for example, to read -thoughts I must do it through Jones or Hill, and my success or failure -depends as much on their powers as on mine. I can put thoughts _into_ a -person’s head, but I cannot take them _out_. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “Well, when it becomes a question of reading human thoughts, I am -as ignorant of what I read as the mediums are until it is read out, and -all I do is to communicate certain movements to the mediums, who in turn -communicate them to the glass. That is to say I myself act as an -intermediary medium to a control in a still higher sphere. So you see -thought-reading demands that not only should the two human mediums be in -tune between themselves, but also with me, and the difficulty of keeping -in tune varies as the square of distance between the two human mediums, -and the human whose thoughts have to be read.” - -MOÏSE. “Explain more, please.” - -SPOOK. “This has never yet been understood by humans; it is very -difficult. Listen, please, I will try again. In ordinary cases you use -two mediums, Jones and Hill. In these cases I take complete control, and -it is I who give the answers. In these cases I know what to do and what -I am saying. But when it is necessary to thought-read a human brain you -have three mediums—of whom I am one. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “Now to explain about distance. First,—distance has no meaning to -me, but it affects the human mediums. When you think a thought you cause -certain ethereal movements. Now, my powers are such that distance does -not affect me, but with humans it is different. The further away the -humans are from the thinker, the harder it becomes for them to notice -the ethereal movements. If too far away they are not affected at all, -and to keep in tune they must be affected by the movement. Therefore -distance is important.” - -MOÏSE. “It is good.” - -SPOOK. “Let me explain further. When you ask a question aloud, your -asking it at once puts the mediums in tune with one another, because -they hear the same thing at the same time. But if you are working with -three mediums, and I catch the ethereal movements while the two human -mediums do not catch them, then I and the humans are not in tune, so you -cannot get anything. ‘The strength of a chain is that of its weakest -link.’ Now you know something never before revealed in your sphere. Do -you understand all I said?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, go on, please. Thank you for this great revelation.” - -SPOOK. “I said I would tell my difficulties. First difficulty is that -OOO closes his thoughts to me. He has not yet shaken off the hatred of -your sphere and refuses to benefit those he hates.” - -MOÏSE. “Who is OOO, please? What did you mean by OOO?” - -SPOOK. “That is his name here.” - -MOÏSE. “The name of whom?” - -SPOOK. “OOO.” - -MOÏSE. “Who is he there?” - -SPOOK. “The one whose wealth you seek. He is here now.” - -MOÏSE. “Go on, please.” - -SPOOK. “He says, if I understand him rightly (as yet he is not very good -at conveying thoughts), that if you are friends he can reveal now.” - -MOÏSE (aside in excitement, _“Mon Dieu!”_) (Aloud): “What does he mean -by friends?” - -SPOOK. “Not those he hates.” - -MOÏSE. “We don’t know if he hates us or not.” - -SPOOK. “Turks. He wants to speak to you himself to see if you are -friends.” - -MOÏSE. “Mr. Jones is a English. Mr. Hill too, and I am Ottoman, but not -a Turk. Let him speak to us, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Are you ready? He is going to try.” - -MOÏSE. “All right.” - -The glass now moved round the board in short, jerky movements, but did -not touch any letters. The jerky movements then stopped, and our Spook -took control again. - -SPOOK. “He says the letters are not his letters, but he is going to give -you a test with these letters. Take down carefully.” - -MOÏSE. “We are ready.” - -(The jerky movements of the glass began again, indicating that OOO was -in control.) - -OOO. “INTCHESELGUIZAKHAYERENKIDEK.”[26] - -SPOOK. “Do you understand that?” - -MOÏSE. “I know that it is Armenian, but I cannot understand it because I -do not know Armenian.” - -SPOOK. “OOO says ‘Thank you, that is exactly what he wanted to know. If -you do not know Armenian you are no friend of his’—(Moïse, aside, _“Mon -Dieu!”_)—and he bids you farewell, and may one called ASDUNDAD curse all -Turks. He is angry and has gone.“ (NOTE.—The glass appears very angry.) - -MOÏSE. “Who will curse us?” - -SPOOK (angrily). “ASDU-_I_-DAD!” (Moïse had noted down Asdu_n_dad in -error.) - -MOÏSE (nervously). “Thank you, Sir, thank you, Sir. I have corrected -spelling. What to do now?” - -SPOOK. “I can find out where the money is in another way. You are very -stupid not to have understood simple Armenian, though it is not in -Armenian characters. If you had understood he might have told you where -the treasure is. (Moïse, aside, _“Mon Dieu!”_) But never mind, I forgive -you. You have missed a good chance. (Moïse, aside, _“Mon Dieu!”_) I am -sorry for you. However, in five days I shall be ready with a new plan, -and I will begin to fulfil my promise and tell you how the treasure was -hidden. The presence of OOO here to-night was a lucky chance that may -not occur again. Good-night, I am tired.” - -MOÏSE. “Good-night, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Good-night. Hard luck.” - -Next day Moïse complained to us that the Commandant had cursed him for a -fool (i) because he did not know Armenian, (ii) because his translation -of the early part of the séance was not understandable in Turkish!! The -poor little man remarked that during the séance he understood -everything, and knew quite well that the Spook was revealing valuable -knowledge to us, but when he came to read it over afterwards he found -that his former clarity of vision had departed, and the more he studied -the record, the more fogged he became. Only one thing was quite -clear—the strength of thought-waves varied inversely with the square of -the distance. - -As this was precisely the item of knowledge we wished him to imbibe, -Hill and I were thoroughly satisfied. We told him we also were fogged -now, but no doubt we would understand it again some day. - -“But,” Moïse grumbled, “that fool of a Commandant says I told lies to -the Spook—because I said I understood when I didn’t! He will _not_ -believe I understood at the time.” - -“Oh, never mind him, Moïse,” said Hill, “he’s an uneducated, incredulous -ass.” - -“He _is_!” said Moïse, with great fervour. “But in one thing he was -right. I should have asked the name of OOO in this world.” - -“Why?” I asked. “Don’t you know it already?” - -“Oh, yes,” said the Pimple, “we know it. We only want to see if the name -is the same—if it is the same treasure. But I can ask next time!” - -This was a corker! We dared not ask Moïse for the name of the owner of -the treasure, and then reproduce it on the spook-board, for he might -give us a false name as a test. Nor did we wish to repeat the hackneyed -trick of pretending that Spooks have difficulties in giving names, for -our Spook had been cheerily naming Maule, Gilchrist, and others right -along. Of course, if the worst came to the worst, the Spook could forget -the name, and prove from an eloquent and scientific passage in _Raymond_ -that this was a common failing with spirits.[27] But we hoped to find a -more original way out of the difficulty. - -Before the next treasure séance took place we had some success in -dealing with the camp’s business, which will be narrated later. We met -again for treasure-hunting from 8.15 to 11.30 p.m. on March 19th. There -were the usual preliminaries. Then the Spook said—(I again quote the -record): - -SPOOK. “Now, about OOO. I have found out a lot about him.” - -MOÏSE. “Had you much work before you found out? And will you tell us how -you did it?” - -SPOOK. “It is very hard, and it is difficult to tell you about him, -because he and his friends are struggling to control the mediums.” (The -glass here began to move jerkily, indicating OOO.) “Look out. Stop!” (We -stopped, in obedience to Moïse, who was greatly excited.) - -SPOOK. “When the glass begins jerking like that it means I have lost -control, and the mediums must stop at once, as OOO is in control. Do you -understand?” - -MOÏSE. “We understand. Would you like to tell us what sort of a struggle -it is?” - -SPOOK. “Mental struggle, but do not go into side questions to-night, as -there is much opposition.” - -MOÏSE. “All right, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Keep cool, Moïse! You are too excited, and will influence the -mediums.” - -MOÏSE. “Right, Sir. I will keep cool. Will you go on?” - -SPOOK. “OOO was a shrewd man. He was closely connected with a certain -secret organization[28] about which the Sup.[29] has heard. As soon as -Russia declared war he foresaw that Turkey would come into it, and at -once began quietly to——” (the glass began jerking again). - -MOÏSE. “Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill! Stop! Stop! Stop!” (As Hill and I were -in a “half-trance” Moïse had to shout loudly to stop us. After a pause -the Spook continued)——“realize his wealth and convert it into gold. Damn -you! Go away!” (Glass jerked again.) - -MOÏSE. “Stop, Jones! Stop, Hill! Stop! Stop!” (We stopped.) - -MOÏSE (aside). “Why was he damning us?” - -SPOOK. “I was talking to OOO.” - -MOÏSE. “I understand.” - -SPOOK. “Well, before Turkey declared war OOO began to bury his gold.” -(Jerks again, and a pause.) “He hid it in a place known only to himself, -nor did he ever tell anybody to his dying day. He was afraid to tell his -relations in case they might reveal the secret under torture. Well, when -Turkey entered the War, OOO contributed a large sum of gold to the -Armenian Association, and realized his debts as far as possible. When -the Armenians joined the Russians, he knew a massacre was likely. His -difficulty then was this: if he told nobody where the money was hidden, -then he might be killed and his family would derive no benefit from his -wealth. On the other hand, if he told his family they might reveal the -secret under pressure. Do you know what he did? This is where I shall -meet strong opposition. I want to see if the mediums are in good tune. -Tell them to rest a moment, and we will see if they are in good tune.” - -MOÏSE (to Jones and Hill). “Rest a moment. Rest a moment.” (We took our -fingers off the glass.) - -JONES and HILL (absolutely simultaneously, and à propos of nothing). “I -say, Moïse, we want a walk tomorrow!” - -MOÏSE. “How do you think they are? Do you think they are in tune? Are -you satisfied?” - -SPOOK. “That was quite good. Don’t you think so, Moïse?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, I think so.” - -SPOOK. “It was very nearly trance-talk—well——” (angrily to OOO)——“Now -see here, I am stronger than you! You may as well give up. I am going to -tell in spite of you! Moïse, if I am interrupted——” - -MOÏSE. “Stop! Stop!” (Moïse was very excited and thought the Spook had -said ‘I am interrupted.’ After a pause we continued): - -SPOOK. “I repeat, _if_ I am interrupted, as the mediums are in tune, let -us fight it out with OOO.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, I understand.” - -SPOOK. “Take down carefully! The opposition may sometimes manage to get -to the wrong letters, but take everything down.” - -MOÏSE. “I will try. Try to write slowly because I could make mistakes. I -will do my best. I am ready.” (At this point the glass began moving very -slowly in evident effort, getting near a letter and then being forced -away. Moïse said afterwards that he could see the whole fight going on, -and that it was wonderful to watch. Both mediums were affected, breathed -heavily, and got very tired. The struggle is indicated in the text by -capitals where resistance was greatest. The remarks in brackets are -explanatory notes and ejaculations by Moïse. The portions in brackets -and italics were those written by the opposition, when they succeeded in -getting control, though of course Moïse only discovered this afterwards. -Moïse, unfortunately, forgot the Control’s injunction to keep cool: he -got more and more excited, with disastrous results, as will be seen -below.) - -SPOOK. “OOO therefore made THREE C-L-U-E-S A-L-L ALIKE. (_Asduidad! -Asduidad!_) One named the place from which to M-E-A-S-U-R-E, one the -DIS-T-ANCE, and the third gave the D-I-R-E-C-T-I-O-N.” (Quickly.) -“Rest—very good! Very good. Rest.” (Note: Mediums exhausted.) - -SPOOK (continuing after a rest). “Well, he wrote out these three clues -on three pieces of paper; each was written in a peculiar way so that -nobody would guess they were clues to treasure, if they were found. He -then took three pieces of paper and W-R-A-P-P-E-D a S-A-M-P-L-E in each, -enclosed each in a S-E-P-A-R-A-T-E R-E-C-E-P-T-A-C-L-E AND B-U-R-I-E-D -(_Asduidad! Asduidad!_) E-A-C-H separately, having first covered each -receptacle with a thick coating of fat to prevent rust. Good. Very good. -One more struggle, and that will be enough for to-night. Rest.” (Mediums -rested.) - -SPOOK (continuing). “Now his fear was if he told one man where all these -were buried that man might dig them up and then keep the treasure; so he -said nothing about treasure to anybody. His plan was this: he selected -three persons he knew were likely to remain alive; let us call them by -their names, WHICH W-E-R-E (_Asduidad! Asduidad!_) Steady! they are -beating me.” (Moïse, excitedly, “My God!”) “Did THEY SAY THAT WORD, WORD -WORD?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “And why did you help them, Moïse? You called too, and that has -beaten me.” (Moïse, aside, “My God!”) - -SPOOK. “There you go again. I am BEATEN. (_What did you say, Moïse, what -did you say? Moïse! repeat those ejaculations!_)” - -MOÏSE. “I said ‘My God!’” - -SPOOK. “(_Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!_) Oh, Moïse, I can never give the names -now! Three times you called on your God. Three times they succeeded in -doing the same! I am beaten! Rest. I will explain.” (Mediums, who were -now utterly exhausted, rested.) - -During the pause, Moïse accused himself, but could not understand why -the Control should have laughed. The Spook apparently must have listened -to Moïse’s remarks, for he gave the following interesting explanation. - -SPOOK. “No, no, Moïse, you do not understand. Owing to your saying that -ejaculation twice, I had lost control. _They_” (emphatically) “took -charge and made you say it a third time. Then _they_ burst out laughing. -It does not matter much. It makes it a little harder for you, because -henceforth they can always stop me from giving the name.” - -MOÏSE. “I am very sorry. I could not know that the fact of saying ‘My -God!’ would make such a difference.” - -SPOOK. “The mediums are not to blame. The reason why your saying those -words made such a difference was because _They_” (OOO and his friends) -“were saying the same thing. That puts you in tune with them instead of -with me. It was for this reason I warned you at the beginning not to get -excited. I never say anything without cause!” - -MOÏSE. “I am very sorry indeed, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Never mind, listen! OOO went to each of the three separately. -What names shall we give them to distinguish them?” - -MOÏSE. “I do not understand, Sir.” - -SPOOK. _“I”_ (emphatically) “cannot name them now.” - -MOÏSE. “Call them AAA, YYY, and KKK.” - -SPOOK. “Yes. OOO went to AAA secretly, and said to him, ‘I have hidden a -certain thing in a certain place.’ He described exactly the place where -the first clue is hidden. He said to AAA, ‘If I die, send for YYY, and -do what he says.’ Then he made AAA swear a great oath never to reveal -what had been told him. He then went secretly to YYY and told him where -the second clue was buried. He said, ‘If I die, someone will send for -you and show you a token. When that happens send for KKK.’ He gave -tokens to both AAA and YYY. Then he went to KKK, and, putting him on -oath, he told him where the third clue was buried, and said, ‘If I die, -two persons will send for you. You will know them by their tokens. When -this happens all three of you go to my heir, and tell him what I have -told you.’ YYY and KKK are dead. I must stop, as the mediums are getting -exhausted.” (Mediums rested.) (Continuing): “No more about the treasure -tonight.” - -MOÏSE. “I am sorry for what I said.” - -SPOOK. “All right. It does not matter. We can get round it. What else do -you want to ask?” - -MOÏSE. “Mr. Jones wants to know if he and Mr. Hill can have a little -more food tomorrow.”[30] - -SPOOK. “Certainly. And listen! They may have anything they want for 24 -hours. I give them a complete holiday because they have done very well -to-night. After 24 hours they must begin living on bread alone—no cooked -food. This is necessary to counter-balance the mistake made by the -sitter to-night. Twenty-four hours’ freedom to do what they like, then -semi-starvation till first clue is found. Tomorrow at noon I shall give -some advice to the Sup. Next treasure séance after five days. -Good-night.” - -MOÏSE. “Good-night, Sir.” - -Moïse was almost in tears at the failure. Over and over again he abused -himself for having forgotten the Spook’s injunction to keep calm. He -explained, pitifully, that he had not intended to name the Divinity. -_“Mon Dieu!”_ is a common, everyday expression of surprise in France, -where he had been educated, and he had merely used the English -equivalent. Besides, he did not know that _“Asduidad”_ was the Armenian -for God, as the local Armenians pronounced the word “_Asdvad_.” How was -he to know he was getting into tune with the opposition? If he had only -kept silence, we would have got the names, and it would not have taken -long to make their owners tell what they knew! Now the names were hidden -for ever! And so on. - -We consoled him, and saw him to the gate, for he was very excited and -very nervous as to what the Spook might do to him. Then Hill and I -waltzed together in the little yard, for we had got out of the -difficulty as to the name of the hider of the treasure, and the blame -lay not with the Spook, nor with us, but with the Turks. We had also -created a most useful “opposition” and taught the Turks—_by -experience_—that the Spook depended largely for its success on our -conduct, and on that of the Pimple, the Cook, and the Commandant. Lastly -the Pimple’s only criticism of our Stevensonian treasure story had been -to marvel at the cleverness of OOO. He had swallowed the yarn whole. - -From our window we could see South hill gleaming white in the moonlight. -Beside a rock in the snow the first clue lay buried. With luck, we’d dig -it up quite soon, and photograph the Commandant in the process. Hill -took extra pains in his practice at palming the camera that night. - -And next morning the poor little Pimple came to us more nearly in tears -than ever. His face was very red. The Commandant, he told us, had just -smacked it because he had called three times upon his God. - -“And indeed,” wailed the Pimple, “perhaps I should have known, for three -is a mystic number!” - -But all the same he shook his fist in the direction of Kiazim Bey’s -office. - ------ - -Footnote 1: - - A list of the officers who were prisoners of war with us in Yozgad is - given in Appendix I. - -Footnote 2: - - Of course neither this nor any other of the conversations in the book - claims to be a _verbatim_ report of what was said. Such a thing would - be difficult to give even after twenty-four hours—much more so after - two years. These conversations are “true” in the sense that they are - faithful reconstructions of my recollection of what took place. Every - event mentioned in the book occurred. (_See footnote_, p. 85.) - -Footnote 3: - - I believe the English language is indebted to Lieut. L.C.P. TUDWAY, - R.N., for the invention of this word. A “posh” is a good-tempered - cross between a riot and a rugby scrum. The object of the “poshers” is - conjointly and severally to sit upon the victim and to pinch, smack, - tickle, or otherwise torture him until he begs for mercy. - -Footnote 4: - - See Appendix II. - -Footnote 5: - - The séance that follows is incidentally an example of a conversation - with a person still alive, or, in the technical language of the séance - room, “still on _this side_.” - -Footnote 6: - - _Yok_ is the Turkish equivalent of “Na-poo” in Tommy’s French. - -Footnote 7: - - _Yessack_: Forbidden. - -Footnote 8: - - The conjuror was Lieutenant C.W. Hill, R.A.F., who ultimately became - my partner for escape and whose better acquaintance the reader will - make later on. - -Footnote 9: - - From now onwards O’Farrell, Matthews, and Price did not attend any of - our séances, as communication was not allowed between the Schoolhouse - and the Hospital House after dark. The séances that led up to trapping - the Interpreter were conducted by Nightingale, Bishop, Hill, and - myself, with Edmonds and Mundey as recorders, and numerous casual - visitors. - -Footnote 10: - - It is true that the feat was eventually accomplished, and eight men - led by Cochrane reached Cyprus in September 1918. The narrative of - their adventures has been published, and is a splendid story of pluck - and almost superhuman endurance, of wise and heroic leadership. But - these qualities, which the party possessed in measure full to - overflowing, would have availed them little had they not met with the - stupendous luck that their courage deserved. It detracts not one whit - from the splendour of their achievement that their effort was favoured - by the Goddess of Fortune. And the reflection may bring some comfort - to the eighteen others who started the same night—only to be - recaptured—and to those wiseacres who remained behind. - -Footnote 11: - - Events prove we were perfectly correct in our anticipation of what the - Turks would do in the event of an escape. - - (1) After the attempted escape of Cochrane, Price, and Stoker from - Afion Kara Hissar in 1916, the whole camp was confined for six weeks - without exercise, in a church. (2) The escape of Bishop, Keeling, - Tipton, and Sweet from Kastamouni in 1917 was followed by a very - severe “strafing” of the whole camp. - - (3) The big escape of twenty-six officers from Yozgad in August 1918 - was followed by a camp “strafe.” - - (4) The following Turkish Order, which was put up on our notice-board - in Yozgad in October 1917 speaks for itself. I quote it _verbatim_: - - “The stipulations of the Penal Military Statutes will be applied - _fully_ and _severely_ to the officers or men Prisoners of War who - will try to run away and will be caught and they will be confined in a - special building in the district of Afion Kara Hissar. In (_sic_) the - other hand their comrades will be deprived of all liberty and - privileges. The prisoners of war in my camp are requested to take - information of this communique. - - ”THE COMMANDANT.” - -Footnote 12: - - For the benefit of the curious our code-system is given in Appendix - III. - -Footnote 13: - - Complete records of all séances between February 2nd and April 26th - were kept and smuggled out of Turkey. The above is a verbatim copy of - the Pimple’s statement. From this point to Chapter XXIV. (where our - written record ends) all questions put to, and answers given by, the - Spook are quoted from these records. So, too, are the letters to and - from the Turkish War Office at Constantinople. We have to thank Capt. - O’Farrell, Capt. Matthews, Capt. Freeland, Capt. Miller, Lieut. - Nightingale, Lieut. Hickman and others for the preservation of our - documents and photographs. - -Footnote 14: - - The Senior Officer of the camp met me after I had regained my liberty. - “Why on earth did you keep us in the dark, Jones?” he asked; “if you - had only told us what you were up to we would have helped you.” “Would - you, sir?” I replied. “I put it to you frankly: had we gone to you in - February and said we were planning to do the things which we actually - did, you would undoubtedly have regarded it as impossible, and used - your authority to stop us.” “Yes,” he admitted, after a moment’s - thought, “you’re right. I would.” - -Footnote 15: - - This is really a code sentence (code-word “Bonhil,” code Playfair). It - was put in for our own protection should things go seriously against - us at any future time. Decoded it reads: “Take note this is a leg pull - against both Turks and camp.” - -Footnote 16: - - This report was sent by the Commandant to the Turkish War Office on - 18th March, 1918, and was the first of a series of official documents - dictated by the Spook. - -Footnote 17: - - See p. 100. - -Footnote 18: - - The order is quoted in the footnote. p. 70. - -Footnote 19: - - Major Gilchrist was not alone in his admiration for the Commandant’s - leniency. Major Peel, in recording the sentence in his account of the - trial, adds the comment: “The Commandant seems to have behaved - remarkably well over this.” See also Col. Maule’s letter to the - Netherlands Ambassador at Constantinople quoted in Chapter XXX. - -Footnote 20: - - The “hockey pitch” was a piece of ground rather smaller than a - tennis-court and surrounded by stone walls. Lack of space limited the - size of the sides to four men. - -Footnote 21: - - Several of the photos in this volume were taken with this homemade - camera. They were developed at Yozgad by Hill and Miller, who somehow - got possession of the necessary chemicals. - -Footnote 22: - - After our “conviction” for telepathy Colonel Maule asked the spookers - in the camp to refrain from further experiments. - -Footnote 23: - - Really to give us a “starved look” which might be ascribed to madness - should we have to adopt the madness scheme, and in order to enable us - to accuse the Commandant of starving us should enquiries come on the - compassionate release plan. It could be made to serve either purpose. - -Footnote 24: - - The author has taken the liberty of altering the names in paragraphs - 1, 3 and 4 of the Pimple’s letter, as he sees no necessity for making - public the identity of these two ladies. - -Footnote 25: - - One of our principal assets was _Raymond_, which reached the camp - about the end of February 1918. Moïse translated it to the Commandant, - and read it himself, by order of the Spook. - -Footnote 26: - - The phrase is borrowed from Spink’s Armenian Phrase Book, which he - compiled from a study of _Lavengro_ and a dictionary. - -Footnote 27: - - See _Raymond_, pp. 360-361. - -Footnote 28: - - Such a secret organization of Armenians actually existed. - -Footnote 29: - - “Sup.”—“the Superior.” The Spook’s name for the Commandant. - -Footnote 30: - - Since the 14th, the Spook had controlled our diet, allowing us no - meat, but “tomorrow” (20th March) was the Ski Club dinner, and we - wanted a “bust” before going on to bare bread. We were starving in - preparation for a medical examination, should the “escape” plan fail. - We tried (by secret signal to Matthews) to stop Posh Castle from - sending us food from the 14th March, but our friend Price insisted on - continuing until after the big dinner at least, and would have gone on - for ever in the face of any opposition but our own. - - - - - CHAPTER XV - - IN WHICH THE SPOOK PUTS OUR COLONEL ON PAROLE IN HIS - TURN, SAVES THE HUNT CLUB, AND WRITES A SPEECH - -In the interval between the treasure séances we interfered as much as -possible with the administration of the camp, the Spook butting in -wherever an occasion offered with suggestions for the amelioration of -the lot of our comrades. Our most successful effort was in connection -with the Hunt Club. - -Shortly before we had got ourselves locked up, some fifteen or twenty -officers had decided to form a Hunt Club. The idea was to purchase -greyhounds, and, with Kiazim’s permission, to hunt once or twice a week -over the hills in the neighbourhood. The membership of the Club was -strictly limited, for it was thought that Kiazim would not allow more -than a few officers to be out at the same time, as the number of spare -sentries at his disposal was small. - -Hill and I knew no more of the matter than that the idea was being -entertained by a select few, and was being kept secret. A few days after -we had been imprisoned the Pimple informed us that the Commandant had -granted permission for the Club to be formed, that a couple of long dogs -had been bought, and that there was a good deal of ill-feeling in the -camp amongst the eighty odd officers who had been left out in the cold -and were not members of the combine which had made this “corner” in -cross-country exercise. We decided to try to get Kiazim to extend his -permission not only to members but to anyone who wanted to hunt. But we -could not see how to interfere. - -On the 15th March we were informed by the Pimple, in the course of his -usual daily visit, that the Commandant was “what you say in a hole.” It -appeared that, when he gave permission for the formation of a Hunt Club, -he had overlooked a standing order which strictly forbade such -organizations. Communications had now been received from Constantinople -drawing his attention to the order and reiterating the prohibition of -all hunting for prisoners. - -Constantinople orders must be obeyed, so Kiazim was going to the camp -next day to withdraw his permission and close down the Club. That night -Hill and I discussed the matter and formed our plans. We must interfere -to save the Hunt Club. We decided to pit the authority of the Spook -against that of the Turkish War Office. - -On the 16th we sent the Cook with a note to the Pimple telling him that -the spook-board had been rapping and tapping and making curious noises -all night, and we thought the Spook wanted to communicate something. The -Pimple came at once, and we began our sitting. - -The Spook began by warning Moïse not to tell the mediums what the glass -was writing, because if he did so the mediums would refuse to go on, as -the information concerned their fellow-officers. If Jones or Hill -questioned him afterwards about the séance, he was to say that the Spook -had been arranging for him an introduction to a certain beautiful lady, -and that the matter was private. - -Then we settled down to it. The glass wrote steadily, Moïse getting more -and more excited, but keeping silent except for an occasional studiously -innocent ejaculation. He thought, of course, that we did not know what -was being written. - -The Spook said It wanted to save the Commandant from disgrace. He had -made a bad mistake in giving permission for a Hunt Club, but he would -make a much worse one if he carried out his intention of prohibiting it. -Such action would make the camp exceedingly angry with Kiazim Bey, and -the thought-waves they generated against him would be of the greatest -assistance to OOO and the opposition. They would “block” the treasure -messages! Further, at present the prisoners were happy and contented. -Nobody wanted to escape. But, as sure as Kiazim lived, his one hope of -preventing escape (which would disgrace him) lay in keeping his promise. -The best way of angering an Englishman was to break your promise to him, -and if the breaking of the promise touched his pocket[31] as well as his -comfort, the Englishman became quite madly unreasonable, while the -Scotsmen (and the camp was full of them) turned into wild beasts. They -could no more stop the prisoners from breaking out than they could stop -the sea. Therefore it behoved Kiazim Bey to be careful. If he riled the -camp many would run away, not so much with the idea of reaching England, -which was hopeless, as in order to secure the removal of the Commandant -from his post; and the most likely of all to do this was Colonel Maule, -who—as he knew from experience—was a nasty, vicious, spiteful fellow -where his physical exercise was concerned. - -“Now,” said the Spook, “what you fear is that one or more of these -fellows will escape while out hunting, and then you will get into -trouble with the War Office for allowing them to hunt in the face of -orders. If you take my advice, nothing of this will happen. -Constantinople will not know. I shall arrange everything for you. _You -need only concern yourself with Maule—I shall see to the rest._ Go to -Maule AT ONCE. Tell him of the standing order. Say you had overlooked it -when you gave permission for the Club, but that you will not go back on -that permission now, although it may get you into trouble, if he will -meet you halfway. Then ask him for his parole not to escape while out -hunting, and tell him you expect him to hold himself responsible that -none of the others in the Hunt Club will use it as a means to escape. If -you do this I guarantee everything will be all right. But if you persist -in your decision to withdraw your promise, you will be helping OOO & Co. -and will have extra difficulty in finding the treasure.” - -The séance ended about 3.30 p.m. The Pimple said he had no time to tell -us anything. He went off hotfoot to the Commandant. By 6.30 he was back. -He burst into our room in great excitement as we were starting dinner, -and cried out: - -“It is all over! Wonderful! Wonderful! It is marvellous!” - -“What is wonderful?” we asked. - -Then Moïse remembered that he had been forbidden to tell us of the -Spook’s advice. His face was a study. - -“What is wonderful?” we repeated. - -“The—the beautiful lady,” he stammered. “She—she was very kind to me! -The Spook—the Spook introduced us.” He plunged into a long and confused -story, to which we listened with the utmost solemnity, of a -superlatively beauteous damsel whom he said he had discovered under the -Spook’s guidance in one of the back streets of Yozgad. - -At a later séance he asked for permission to tell us the whole story. -The Spook gave it. We then learned that the Commandant had gone to -Colonel Maule at once, and carried out the Spook’s instructions. The -Colonel had gladly given his own parole not to escape whilst out -hunting, _and had added that as President of the Club he had already -taken a similar parole from all other members of the Hunt, and therefore -the Commandant might be quite easy in his mind that the privilege he had -granted would not be abused_! - -This was one of a number of coincidences which greatly added to the -renown of our Spook. Colonel Maule had taken these paroles from our -fellow-officers after we had left the camp, and neither Hill nor I knew -anything about them. We could almost equally well have persuaded Kiazim -Bey to let his promise stand without sending him to Maule at all, and -our object in sending him was to get a playful smack at our Senior -Officer by putting him on parole as a _quid pro quo_ for the paroles he -had taken out of us. Indeed, this was why the Spook limited Kiazim’s -attentions to the Colonel, who we knew had no intention of escaping, and -forbade interference with the rest of the camp. But after Maule’s -statement, following so naturally on the Spook’s promise, nothing on -earth would have convinced Kiazim that it was Maule himself (and not the -Spook acting through him) who had put the others on parole. The incident -became for the Turks one more marvellous example of our Spook’s power of -controlling the minds of others, and in the face of this experience -Kiazim readily believed that the Spook would keep Constantinople in -ignorance of his disobedience to orders. So permission was graciously -granted, and the Hunt Club became one of the institutions of Yozgad. The -authors of “_450 Miles to Freedom_” called it “the most useful” of the -concessions granted at Yozgad. “Some of the happiest recollections of -our captivity,” they say, “are those glorious early mornings in the -country, far away from the ugly town which was our prison. Here, for a -few brief hours, it was almost possible to forget that we were prisoners -of war.” Hill and I are very glad of that! - -It is of course possible that the Commandant would have disobeyed his -own Government without the interference of Hill and myself. Perhaps the -camp could have saved the position off its own bat. Perhaps the parole -not to escape would have been sufficient of itself to induce the -Commandant to disobey his own War Office. But we doubt it very much. -There were other factors that counted more in his decision. These were, -his belief that Constantinople would never know, his fear that if he -angered the camp escapes would certainly take place, and his dread lest -the Spook communication about the treasure be “blocked” by ranging the -thought-waves of the camp against himself and on the side of OOO. - -So elated were we by our success that four days later, on the 20th -March, we laid a plot to commit Kiazim to an open declaration of a -friendly policy towards the camp. That night, in recognition of his -kindness in having given permission for ski-ing during the past winter, -he was to be the guest of the Ski Club at a dinner in Posh Castle. - -We guessed that someone was likely to make a speech thanking him for the -privilege he had granted. It was easy enough to prophesy the sort of -thing that would be said, and we thought it would be a good stroke to -write his reply. Therefore, towards the close of a séance held at noon -on the 20th March, the Spook suddenly said: - -“Would the Superior like to make a very popular speech tonight? I can -help him, though I know he can do it quite well himself.” - -MOÏSE. “Certainly. He would like to make a very popular speech.” - -SPOOK. “Well, begin by saying what he already intends to say about the -pleasure it has given him to meet with the officers on so friendly a -footing. Then let him go on as follows;—‘That our respective countries -are at war is no reason why there should be any personal rancour between -us. It rejoices my heart to think that the past winter has done so much -to create a better understanding. I for my part have learned through -your Ski Club that you Englishmen will not necessarily abuse any -privilege granted to you. You, on your part, have, I hope, realized that -I am anxious to concede every possible liberty I can to add to your -happiness. The only condition I set before you is that no special -concession I grant should be abused. I feel now, after this winter, that -there is none of you who will abuse my confidence. Since the days of -your Crusades, Turks and English have mutually admired one another: let -us do nothing in Yozgad to lessen that admiration. Gentlemen, I -sympathize with you in your misfortune of war, and I shall try to make -your stay in Yozgad as pleasant as possible. As soldiers you know that -regulations are regulations, and must be obeyed. But sometimes it may be -possible to grant you little extra privileges. As officers I know your -great desire is to get back to fight for your country. As gentlemen I -know none of you would abuse my confidence or use any _extra_ liberty I -give you, for the purpose of getting away. Gentlemen, I ask you to drink -to our better friendship, and I couple the toast with the name of the -officer who has done so much to improve our mutual understanding—Lieut. -Spink.’”[32] - -MOÏSE. “Has he to say that in Turkish or get the English copy and -present it at the end of the dinner?” - -SPOOK. “A very good suggestion, Moïse.” - -MOÏSE. “Anything more, Sir?” - -SPOOK. “This should be given as a reply to a speech. He can add anything -he likes in answer to other speeches. Note, this is only a suggestion. I -am anxious to help the Sup. when I can.” - -MOÏSE. “That is very kind of you. What about YYY and KKK?” - -SPOOK. “No treasure business today. Good-bye.” - -Several hours later, about 5 p.m., Moïse came to us in a state of great -excitement, and said, “Major Gilchrist has just given me a speech to -translate into Turkish. It is to be given to the Commandant tonight. I -am sure the Spook has written this also. Let us ask him.” - -We got out the Ouija, and Moïse read the speech aloud to the Control. -The speech was as follows: - -“M. le Commandant, and Gentlemen. We are assembled here to-night by the -kind permission of the Commandant to celebrate the end of the Ski -season. During the past three and a half months we have been very -fortunate in having had excellent snow and suitable weather for ski-ing, -but this would have availed us nothing if the Commandant, with a truly -sporting spirit, had not stretched a point and allowed us full vent for -our energies. If the Commandant looks at those assembled here, I am sure -he will agree that we all show by our fitness the great benefit he has -conferred on us by allowing us so much freedom to get exercise and -plenty of fresh air. Gentlemen, I ask you to rise with me and drink the -health of the Commandant according to our usual custom, with musical -honours. ‘For he’s a jolly good fellow, etc.’” - -MOÏSE (to Control). “Is your speech in reply to this?” - -SPOOK. “Of course it is, you might have guessed it.” - -MOÏSE. “We did guess it, Sir. Thank you very much indeed. It is -wonderful.” - -What really _was_ wonderful was the fact that Gilchrist should have hit -upon the idea of getting his speech written out in Turkish to be handed -to Kiazim Bey at the dinner—and that the very same idea should have -cropped up in our séance a few hours earlier. For Kiazim, with the -Spook’s approval, was to hand in an English copy in the same way! So far -as I am aware the handing over of a written translation of a speech had -never been thought of at a previous function in Yozgad. It was another -of those coincidences which may help the reader to sympathize with our -victims’ belief in the powers of the Spook. Indeed, it is not a bad -parallel to the “Honolulu incident” in _Raymond_, and I may be -considered wrong in calling it a “coincidence.” Spiritualists would no -doubt find an easy explanation in “telepathy.” Pah! - -Bimbashi Kiazim Bey spent the afternoon in learning his speech by heart, -and delivered it in great style at the dinner that night, to the -accompaniment of uproarious cheering, which we could hear from our room. -Next day the English copy of it was posted up on the camp notice-board. -A good many people thought the English too idiomatic to be the Pimple’s -composition, but no one knew who had written it, and the general -impression was that the Commandant was showing signs of being a reformed -character. - -The five courses of the Ski Club dinner were sent over to us by our good -friends in Posh Castle, and a bottle of raki with them. The Spook, it -will be remembered, had luckily given us a complete holiday to eat what -we liked on this day. (This was _not_ a coincidence but the reverse.) We -knew it was likely to be our last decent meal for many a long day, and -we did full justice to it. For in response to repeated and urgent secret -signals from us, Price had at last consented to send us no more food, -and henceforward, until we had beaten the doctors, our diet was to be -bread and tea. In the lean days that lay ahead, in misery and sickness -and starvation, that dinner was to be a very joyous memory to both of -us. - -Indeed, from the soup to the raki liqueur, it was a notable feast, and -it heartened us. When we had finished we stood at our window, listening -to the songs and laughter and cheering from across the way, and peppered -the Posh Castle windows with our pea-shooters by way of accompaniment. -One of the guests, who had drowned his sorrows with some thoroughness, -staggered out into Posh Castle yard for a little fresh air, and sat him -against the wall, his head in his hands, close beside a large tin bath. -We collected snow and snow-balled him from our retreat. When we missed -him, we hit the bath, till it boomed like a 4·7. The poor fellow was too -far gone to realize what was happening. He apostrophized the bath as a -“noisy blighter,” and every time he was hit called the empty world to -witness that it was a “dirty trick, a dirty trick to shtop a f’low -shleeping.” A particularly nasty smack finally brought him to his feet -and he rushed back into Posh Castle roaring out something about the -“neshessity for instant action by counter attacksh.” An hour later the -company broke up and as the sentries marshalled them under our windows, -preparatory to marching them to their respective homes, we thrust out -our heads and sang them a lullaby: - - “We’ll all go thought-reading to-day, - In prison it’s not very gay; - But a raki or two makes a difference to you, - So we’ll all go thought-reading to-day.” - -There was a second’s silence down below, a silence with something of -consternation in it: then Winnie Smith bellowed out: - -“It’s Bones and Hill! Good lads! Keep your tails up! Three cheers for -the criminals!” - -A yell of greeting went up from the crowd. The sentries, alarmed at this -disobedience of the Commandant’s orders, began to hustle them, but -Winnie shouted again. - -“Hush, Winnie,” said a voice we recognized. “Do you want the whole camp -hanged? Come away and leave ’em.” And Winnie was dragged off by his -mentor. But at the corner he drowned all expostulation in a cheery -“Good-night” to us. Thank you, Winnie! Everybody knows you are a -happy-go-lucky, impulsive, generous, and most injudicious young rascal, -but you have a heart of gold to a friend in trouble. Hill and I weren’t -in trouble, of course, but you thought we were. - -On the 21st March, in accordance with the Spook’s orders, our diet was -reduced to toast and tea. To begin with our allowance was one pound of -dry bread a day. Later we reduced it to eight ounces. Our diet had to be -lowered more suddenly than was intended by the Spook originally, “in -order to counteract Moïse’s mistake at the last séance.”[33] On this day -we were taken for our first (and only) walk. We felt very empty. - -_22nd March._—“On his morning visit,” my diary reads, “Moïse told us -that the Commandant’s wife cannot sleep for thinking of the treasure. -With a view to explaining their coming access of wealth, she and her -husband have started a rumour that they have sold some property in -Constantinople. Moïse has started a similar rumour about himself. He -tells us that relations between the treasure-hunters are getting -strained, and unless the Spook apportions shares in the treasure, there -will be trouble. The Cook says he will not be put off with a small -share, and unless the Commandant gives him at least a quarter he will -report the whole business to the War Office.” - -_23rd March._—“A quiet day. Affairs still strained between the -Commandant and the Cook, who is a man of one idea,—money! The Spook -refuses to interfere or to apportion the shares.” - -_24th March._—“The low diet is working wonders. Hill and I are getting -beautifully into tune. Several times during his visit Moïse noticed that -we both made the same remark in the same words at the same moment. ‘Your -two minds,’ said he, ‘are obviously rapidly becoming one mind.’” - -Of course they were! But the Pimple never knew what a lot of practice it -took to do it naturally. - -[Illustration: IN THE PINE WOODS.—“WINNIE” AND NIGHTINGALE ON SKIS] - - - - - CHAPTER XVI - - HOW WE FELL INTO A TRANCE AND SAW THE FUTURE - - -Our next séance, held on the 24th March, purported to be an explanation -of and an introduction to that special species of _trance talk_ which -appeals to all superstitious minds—the reading of the future. The real -lesson which we wished the Turk unconsciously to assimilate was the fact -that a “ray” exists—called by the Spook the “telechronistic ray”—which -preserves both the past and the future in the present for anyone who can -get into touch with it, and that Jones and Hill were developing the -power to get into touch with it. At the time, the Turks paid very little -attention to the telechronistic ray. Their interest was centred in the -trance-talk description of the future finding of the treasure. But later -on, when the Spook offered to disclose, _under proper conditions_, the -whereabouts of _all_ hidden treasures, the Turks remembered their lesson -and themselves quoted the “telechronistic ray” séance as an argument in -favour of the Spook being able to fulfil its offer. - -Further, the trance-talk picture of the future was intended to be a very -gentle introduction of the idea that when the treasure was discovered -the mediums would be away from Yozgad, because they would send news of -its whereabouts by letter. - -The séance is no doubt poor stuff from a metaphysical point of view, but -it was good enough for the Turks, and I quote it in full as an example -of the way in which we entangled our victims in a labyrinth of confused -reasoning. For it must always be borne in mind that a medium can have no -more valuable asset in his sitter than a _theory_ of spooking, and the -more ill-defined, tortuous and confused that “theory” may be, the easier -it becomes to hoodwink its exponent. The really dangerous man to a -medium is not at all the gentleman possessed of a vast knowledge of -spooks and their ways, and consequently prepared to explain phenomena in -the light of that knowledge, but the ordinary everyday man, without any -theories of the supernatural and preferably with a good knowledge of -conjuring, of logic, and of the tricks of the cross-examiner, who will -apply to what he sees and hears the tests of his everyday experience. -Confusion, in one form or another, is the alpha and omega of the -medium’s stock in trade. - -The séance opened with a little speech by Moïse. We encouraged him—or -rather, the Spook did—to make these speeches, and gradually he formed -the habit of writing them beforehand so as to make sure of omitting -nothing of importance. In time, they amounted to a report of everything -that had happened in connection with ourselves or with the rest of the -camp since the last séance. In this way our knowledge was kept up to -date, and we gained much important information. The speeches were -delivered—not to us, but to the piece of tin which was our spook-board, -and which Moïse always addressed as “Sir.” It contained for him as real -a personality as the idol does for the savage, and he treated it with -similar reverence. He lied to us, in our capacity as ordinary mortals, -with a face of brass, but he never lied to his sacred piece of tin. -Picture him, then, leaning over the board with paper and pencil ready to -take down the Spook’s answer while we set our fingers on the glass, and -as wooden as possible an expression on our faces, and listened to his -oration. - - _Seance in Colonels’ House, 24th March, 5 p.m. to 7.45 p.m._ - -MOÏSE. “Good evening, Sir. Before starting the treasure business, let me -first thank you for the speech you made for the Commandant to say at the -Ski Club dinner. I think everybody was pleased. I did not come before to -thank you because you gave us the order not to trouble you before five -days; but I do it now. Second, I beg your pardon again for having so -_étourdiment_ ejaculated in the last séance, and I am ready, if -possible, in order to correct the wrong I may have done, to share the -hardships and restrictions you have inflicted on the mediums, if you -think it convenient.” - -SPOOK. “Thank you. Later on I may require your help. Not now.” - -MOÏSE. “I am ready at any time.” - -SPOOK. “I am going to prepare you for trance-talk. I am going to explain -a very difficult thing. First, what time is it?” - -MOÏSE. “It is ten minutes past five, according to camp time, ten minutes -past ten by Turkish time.” - -SPOOK. “When eleven o’clock comes will the present time be dead and -gone?” - -MOÏSE. “Will you explain, please?” - -SPOOK. “Is yesterday still here or not? Is to-morrow here yet?” - -MOÏSE. “We think that to-morrow is not here yet. We don’t quite -understand.” - -SPOOK. “It is difficult. Is last year here now?” - -MOÏSE. “No, it is not. We are in 1918 now.” - -SPOOK. “Is next year here now?” - -MOÏSE. “No, we think it is not here.” - -SPOOK. “Quite so. You think the past is one thing, and the future is -another, and the present a third. Is it not so?” - -MOÏSE. “I will say there are three things altogether.” - -SPOOK. “I will try and show that you are wrong—that both the future and -the past exist together now. But it is hard to explain because all human -languages are deficient in the words I require. For instance, the phrase -‘in tune’ does not express exactly what I mean by it, nor does the -French phrase ‘_en rapport,_’ nor the Greek ‘συμπά θεια’; nor any phrase -in any human language. Well, you know sound can be trapped, for you have -a clumsy method of doing it. Do you understand?“ - -MOÏSE. “The phonograph method?” - -SPOOK. “Quite so. A past sound existing in the present. Is it not so?” - -(Moïse consulted the mediums, and after a discussion, went on.) - -MOÏSE. “Jones says that the phonograph is only a _record_ of a sound, it -is not a sound existing at the present.” - -SPOOK. “Stupid, the sound _is_ there. All that is required is the proper -instruments and conditions to bring it out. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, we understand that.” - -SPOOK. “Now, look at the fire.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, I am looking.” - -SPOOK. “Would you say it is burning _now_, or would you not?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, we would.” - -SPOOK. “Why do you say it is blazing now—at present?” - -MOÏSE. “Because we see it.” - -SPOOK. “Quite so. Again, say something, Moïse.” (Moïse spoke.) “You are -talking _now_, _now_, _now_, are you not?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, I am.” - -SPOOK. “How do the mediums know?” - -MOÏSE. “Because they hear me.” - -SPOOK. “Because you see and hear a thing you say it is happening in the -present. Is it not so?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes. It is so.” - -SPOOK. “If you saw one star collide with another star you would say, -‘Look, that star is at present colliding with that other star’; is that -so?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, I would.” - -SPOOK. “Then do you think you would be talking sense?” - -MOÏSE. “We think we are.” - -SPOOK. “Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!! Listen! It takes what you call a -hundred years for the light of some of the stars to reach the sphere you -live in. So when you see a collision you may be watching a thing which -really happened what you call a hundred years ago. For you it is the -present time, because the rays of light have preserved it for you for -all those things you call years. But you are looking at the past. Do you -understand?” - -MOÏSE. “I shall say, ‘I see the present,’ but if I know astronomy, by -thinking a little I will be persuaded that I am not looking at a present -thing but a past thing, because the rays have taken a long time to reach -my eyes.” - -SPOOK. “What I am trying to prove is this: even to your imperfect -senses, the past can exist in the present, also the future can exist in -the present.” - -MOÏSE. “How? An example about the future, please, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Bless you! Your mathematicians, as you call them, can fix the -next eclipse of the sun to the nearest second. Because they happen to -have discovered the laws ruling that little portion of the field of -knowledge, that portion of the future is known and is laid bare _in the -present_. So, in a sense, past, present, and future co-exist.” - -MOÏSE. “No, the knowledge of them co-exists.” - -SPOOK. “Silly. Is the fire existing now, or merely your knowledge of -it?” - -MOÏSE. “The fire is existing now.” - -SPOOK. “Because you see it?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “Silly. What about the stars?” - -MOÏSE. “You are right! I understand now!” - -SPOOK. “Time is an artificial division. All time is one. Do you -understand?” - -MOÏSE. “I _know_.” - -SPOOK. “Past, present, and future all co-exist.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “You do not know all the past—why? Because you have not yet -discovered the—there is no word for it—call it the ‘telechronistic ray.’ -You do not know all the future, for the same reason. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Give further explanation, please.” - -SPOOK. “As you have seen, light rays and sound rays can preserve the -past for your ears and eyes. The mathematical sense can know the future. -In the same way the telechronistic rays preserve both the past and the -future, for those who can develop the faculty to get into touch with the -rays. This is what I am aiming at with the mediums. To-night I shall -test them. They will trance-talk if I am successful, and the simple food -and solitude have had the desired effect. It must be done after dark. -You must not interrupt or touch the mediums. The unfortunate thing is -that as regards the past it is always possible for what you call a -spirit to interpose between the mediums and the ray, like a man standing -between you and a candle; but as regards the future, it is harder to -interfere because the future ray is strong, and single, and distant like -the sun. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Not understood.” - -SPOOK. “The future is a complete whole, a single blaze. It is all -existing now, but it exists for you as an undivided entity. The past, -however, exists for you as a series of small telechronistic rays. If I -tried to show you a particular event in the past, it being a small event -like the candle, it would be easy for OOO to interpose between you and -the beam, especially if he knows the particular candle I want to show. -_Now_, do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “Do not touch the mediums or interrupt.” - -MOÏSE. “No, I will not.” - -SPOOK. “Be in the dark. Take down carefully everything they say. Then -come back to me after they have recovered. Also note: it will not be -_me_ talking through the mediums; it will be the mediums themselves -interpreting the ray. _Au revoir_, until after dark.” - -MOÏSE. “May we have a lamp?” - -SPOOK (angrily). “No!” - -MOÏSE. “How can I write?” - -SPOOK. “Make a small beam of light—a—small—beam—of—light.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes. How?” - -SPOOK (angrily). “_Do_ it! Or I will not help. Blow your own nose! Don’t -worry me with trifles!” - -MOÏSE. “A candle covered with paper?” - -SPOOK (interrupting angrily). “In a tin, in a tin!” - -Lest he should make any mistake over the “beam of light” Moïse decided -to write in the dark. He sat at a table at one side of the room, while -Hill and I sat at the other side. For some time there was dead silence. -Then Hill and I began to grunt, and make strange noises in unison. The -noises changed gradually from grunts to groans, and from groans to -guttural sounds, thence to some unknown tongue, and finally into -English. When we had practised together in private (it took a lot of -practice to get grunt-and-groan perfect) we had never been able to -proceed very far without laughing. Indeed it was the most ridiculous -farmyard concert that mortal man ever listened to, and Hill had objected -that we ran a great risk of laughing or being laughed at and spoiling -everything. But what is ridiculous in daylight may be intensely eerie in -the dark. And so it proved. The unhappy Pimple nearly fainted with -fright, but he stuck to his post and his note-taking with a courage that -roused our unwilling admiration. He showed us his notes afterwards—the -paper was wet from the clamminess of his hands, and the writing showed -clear traces of his jumpiness. - -We pretended to be describing a scene before our eyes. We were following -a man who carried a letter. We described how the messenger passed -through a door into a garden. He had great difficulty in closing the -door, for something was wrong with the latch. We followed him through -the garden—past the trees and flowers and well, all of which we -described—into a house with a curious window that stood out four-square -to the right of the door. Thence up the steps, inside, through a small -hall, up a staircase and into a bedroom, detailing the furniture and the -pictures as we passed each article. We gave a minute description of the -bedroom, the red carpet, the two ottomans, the position of the bed and -the cupboard, and we were much struck by the enormous footstool on the -right of the door, the wicker bag on the floor near the bed, and the -sword on the wall between two pictures. The messenger gave the letter to -someone on the bed, whom we could not see clearly. We heard him call, -and a lady came in—a lady with very beautiful hands. They went out -together, carrying a lantern. Another man joined them, with pick and -shovel. Then everything turned black. There was a pause in the -trance-talk for perhaps a minute. Then we cried out that we saw the -group again. They had been digging. We could see the hole by the -lamplight. They were pulling things out of the hole—boxes they looked -like! Yes, boxes! The man with the pick raised it above his head and -smashed open a box, and—“Gold! Gold! Gold!” (so loud and so suddenly did -we shout together that the Pimple leapt to his feet). Then blackness -again, and a reversal of the opening proceedings—we lapsed first into -the unknown tongue, and thence through the guttural sounds to the groans -and the little farmyard grunts with which we had begun. A few minutes’ -silence, and Hill spoke in his natural voice:— - -“I am afraid it’s no good!” he said, “nothing is going to happen.” - -The Pimple struck a match with shaking fingers, and lit the lamp. - -“Something _has_ happened,” he said, “you’ve both been in a trance. It -was terrible!” - -“Have we?” said I, and looked as dazed as I could. (It is easy to look -dazed in a sudden glare of light.) “I feel just as usual, only very, -very tired.” - -At the Pimple’s request we got out the spook-board and he read over the -record to the Spook. - -“That was the future,” the glass explained; “did you recognize the -picture, Moïse?” - -MOÏSE. “No, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Stupid! What did they find? Who were they? What was the house? -Don’t be silly! You know it well. Read it again!” - -(Moïse re-read the record.) - -MOÏSE (in excitement). “Yes, Sir! I recognize it now. May I tell the -mediums what the picture was?” - -SPOOK. “Yes. Then no more to-night. Mediums are much improved, but this -strains them.” - -MOÏSE. “Good-night, Sir. And many thanks.” - -Turning to Hill and myself, Moïse explained that in our trance-talk _we -had given a perfect description of the Commandant’s house_. He was half -crazed with excitement and nervous strain. It was “wonderful,” -“marvellous,” “undoubted clairvoyance.” He congratulated us “from the -base of his heart.” It was a “beautiful word-picture.” It was more—a -“word-photograph”—and of a house we had never seen! It beat the -photograph incident in _Raymond_ (Moïse, by the Spook’s orders, had just -finished translating _Raymond_ to the Commandant), “for it was much more -detailed.” He believed we were greater spiritualists than Sir Oliver -Lodge. “Was it so?” “Was it not so?” - -“Oh no, Moïse,” said Hill. “We are only mediums. _He_ is in your -position, you know—an investigator and recorder. But I suppose it is not -unlike the photograph incident, as you say.” - -“It is better—far better,” said the Pimple. - -I believe it _was_ better. Only it spoils a conjuring trick or a -psychical phenomenon to explain how it is done, and unfortunately I have -already told the reader how Doc. O’Farrell described Kiazim’s house to -me. So the photograph incident in _Raymond_ will remain a “marvel” while -our word-picture is simply a fraud. - - - - - CHAPTER XVII - - HOW THE SPOOK TOOK US TREASURE-HUNTING AND WE - PHOTOGRAPHED THE TURKISH COMMANDANT - - -For the past fortnight Hill and I had known that a number of new -prisoners were coming to Yozgad—44 officers and 25 men. These were the -“Kastamouni Incorrigibles.” After the escape by Keeling, Tipton, Sweet, -and Bishop from Kastamouni in 1917, their comrades of Kastamouni Camp -had been badly “strafed.” The whole camp was moved to Changri, where it -was housed in the vilest conditions imaginable.[34] In despair a number -of officers gave the Turks their parole not to escape, in order to get -reasonable quarters. The Turks accepted the parole and sent these to -Gedos. Then Johnny Turk began to wonder why the rest would not give -parole, and very naturally concluded they must be intending to escape. -The safest place in Turkey for restless gentlemen of this description -was Yozgad, in the heart of Anatolia. So to Yozgad they were sent. - -But at Yozgad the accommodation for prisoners was very limited. To make -room for all 44 incorrigibles the Turkish War Office decided to send 20 -of the Yozgad officers to Afion Kara Hissar. As soon as this order -arrived, Moïse came across and told us about it. The Commandant wanted -the Spook to tell him which of the officers at present in Yozgad he -should send away. Here was a great opportunity. It would have been the -easiest thing in the world for us to send any twenty men we chose to -select. We were much tempted to despatch to Afion the score whom we -considered to be most vehemently opposed to all plans of escape. But we -held our hand. We advised Moïse that we thought it wiser not to trouble -the Spook with details, as the treasure business was sufficient worry at -present. The Spook had several times told us to do as much as possible -for ourselves. - -Accordingly the camp was informed of the order in the usual way, but -when we heard the result we were rather sorry we had not exercised our -option. Moïse told us that the Commandant, in answer to enquiries, had -said that Yozgad camp was in every way preferable to Afion. (As a matter -of fact it was not.) In Yozgad, he said, food was cheaper, the climate -better and the housing much superior. Result: those officers who had at -first been tempted by the idea of a change refused to budge. Indeed, -practically nobody wanted to go, for what with the Hunt Club and the Ski -dinner speech, and one thing and another, Yozgad prospects looked -decidedly rosy for the summer. So, to a diapason of grousing by the -victims, the fiat went forth that the twenty junior officers should pack -up, and our Senior Officer did Hill and myself the honour of telling -Kiazim Bey that, as we were not only junior but also “the black sheep” -of the camp, it would be distinctly advisable to include us in the -twenty. (That “black sheep” phrase hurt a little—we had never done -anybody any harm—but it amused the Turks.) Kiazim, who wanted his -treasure, refused to move us. Amid much grumbling, the twenty made their -preparations for departure. - -On the 26th March, at 6 p.m. Moïse brought the matter up in his -“report.” “I have some news for you, Sir,” he said to the board. “We -have got the order for twenty officers to leave for Afion. Their names -have been put down. You see we are trying to blow our own noses.” (Moïse -had got it into his head that this was an English idiom meaning to be -self-reliant.) “But perhaps you can give us some good suggestions as you -usually do. I told Colonel Maule we could not move the mediums when he -asked about them.” - -“Quite right,” said the Spook, “that is all as I arranged it. But I want -one small addition. I want Maule to be told that the Superior would like -to be rid of these two officers, and that he would send them away if he -could, but he must await orders from Constantinople, to whom a report of -the trial has been sent.” (The report was dictated by the Spook and sent -to the Turkish War Office on the 18th March.[35]) “This will explain why -the Superior does not seize the opportunity to get rid of them. It will -also explain matters if Constantinople wires to send these two away, as -it may do. Do not be alarmed at that possibility. It will be all my -doing, and I know what I am doing.” - -The object of this was to keep open the possibility of our travelling -with the Afion party for part of the way. We hoped that by the time they -were ready to start, Kiazim would have been persuaded by us that the -treasure could best be found by sending us to the Mediterranean coast. -From Yozgad to Angora was 120 miles, and transport was scarce. So we -intended to avail ourselves of the government carts provided for the -Afion party if Kiazim agreed to move us. - -The Turks were now like children in the Hampton Court maze when a fog -has come down. They were properly lost in our labyrinth, and appealed to -the Spook to tell them what was happening. That capable and inventive -gentleman rose to the occasion, and gave them a resumé of the position. -The best chance of finding the treasure quickly, the Spook said, had -been when OOO had offered to point it out if we could prove our -friendship to him. The Pimple had spoiled that chance by his ignorance -of Armenian. Indeed, he had done worse than spoil it—he had thrown OOO -into active opposition, and though OOO himself was not much to be -feared, being a comparatively young and inexperienced spirit, a company -had now been formed to help him, which contained some of the best known -organizers in the spirit-world. (Amongst them was Napoleon Buonaparte.) - -There remained, the Spook continued, three other plans for finding the -treasure. Of these the first was to find out everything from Yozgad -through the holders of the three clues—KKK, YYY and AAA. This again the -Pimple had nearly—though not quite—spoiled by inadvertently -strengthening the opposition. Fortunately KKK and YYY were dead, and as -they were keenly interested in helping to tear aside the partition -between this world and the next, our Spook had been able to persuade -them to assist in the search, and they were prepared, as scientific -investigators, to try and show themselves and make themselves heard to -the mediums. Success with them would depend on whether or not the -starvation diet had rendered the mediums sufficiently clairvoyant and -clairaudient. There remained the holder of the third clue—AAA. AAA being -still alive—we learned that he was a business man in Constantinople, -whose work frequently took him to Adalia, Tarsus, Alexandretta, and -Damascus—was likely to be our chief difficulty, because his mind must be -read by telepathy and he was so far away that his thought-waves would be -weak, so the opposition might succeed in blocking them. Still, we would -try, and must hope for success. - -But, the Spook warned us, the trance-talk had pointed to the fact that -this plan would not succeed in its entirety, and that the treasure would -be found by one of two other plans which were being held in reserve. -Both these plans involved moving the mediums nearer to AAA—nearer, that -is to say, to Constantinople, Adalia, Tarsus, Alexandretta or Damascus, -according as AAA might be in one or the other. - -“The details of these two plans,” said the Spook, “I do not want to tell -at present, because OOO has now got control over a medium in Yozgad[36]; -and as you humans cannot control your thoughts it is unwise to tell you, -lest that medium and OOO succeed in reading the plan that is in your -minds. They could then interfere with it.” - -To our delight, the Turks took the news that we might have to leave -Yozgad with the utmost nonchalance. They realized that the Spook was -doing his utmost to find the treasure without moving us, and in their -hearts they were pretty confident he would succeed. Therefore they -regarded the move as unlikely—and forgot all about it for the time -being, by reason of the other things we provided to occupy their -attention. For, having mentioned the move, we at once turned their -attention away from it by bringing forward KKK. - -KKK proved to be a most friendly spirit. Speaking through our own Spook -he offered to conduct us next day to the spot where his clue was buried. -But he laid down certain conditions: - - _Conditions laid down by KKK._ _Secret object of the conditions._ - - 1. Only those who are present at 1. To get Kiazim out and enable us - the digging up of the clue will be to photograph him. - allowed to share in the treasure. - NOTE.—The Commandant kicked very - hard against this condition, - because he was afraid of being - seen in the company of the - mediums, but KKK was adamant and - Kiazim finally gave way. - - 2. The mediums are to be prepared 2. To enable me to pose the Turks - to carry out the treasure-test of for Hill to photograph them. If - the Head-hunting Waas. If that the first pose was unsuccessful, - fails, Jones is authorized to try the Red Karens’ test gave the - the secret Blood-test of the Red opportunity for a second pose. - Karens. - - 3. The Turks must not speak a 3. To prevent the Turks from - single word unless spoken to by drawing each other’s attention to - the mediums. any suspicious incident. - - 4. Mediums are to wear black. 4. We had black water-proof capes. - Hill found the folds useful for - concealing the camera. - - 5. Mediums are not to be touched 5. To ensure that Hill should not - at any time after KKK has be interfered with when using the - appeared. camera. - - 6. Mediums must hold hands when 6. To enable us to signal to one - following KKK. another without the Turks seeing - it. - - - 7. One, or both, of the mediums 7. To enable Hill to get away from - may collapse under the strain. If the rest of us for the half-dozen - they do, leave them quite alone. paces at which he was prepared to - Do not touch them, or speak to take the photograph, and to keep - them, or even _think_ of them the attention of the Turks off - without orders. Leave them alone Hill. - and they will recover. - - 8. All to carry sticks and 8. The articles were mostly - waterbottles. Cook to carry a pick _camouflage_, but some (the bread - and spade under his coat. Moïse to and water in particular), were - carry the following articles intended to form a precedent for - carefully hidden about his person: the time when the Spook would - scissors, knife, adze, arrange our final escape. - waterbottle, matches, fire-wood, - rags soaked in kerosine, bread, - and a clean white handkerchief. - - 9. “Obedience! Obedience! 9. A general precaution. - Obedience!” - -“The clue,” the Spook warned us, “was very clever. The casual person on -opening it would think he had found nothing and throw it down where he -found it. If the finder happened to look further, he would find -something to cause him surprise and a puzzle to make him talk. When 000 -buried the treasure he hoped if this happened the talk would reach the -ears of his heir. Therefore, do not be disappointed when at first you -find nothing but an emblem of death. Go on looking carefully. The clue -itself will puzzle you, but what one man can invent another man can -understand.” - -That night Hill gave me a final exhibition of his extraordinary palming, -and I went to bed with renewed confidence in his skill. Tomorrow would -settle our hash one way or another—we would get that photograph or be -found out and take the consequences, whatever they might be. - -To our disgust the 27th March turned out a dull, misty day, with some -rain, quite hopeless for photography. The Spook informed the Pimple that -KKK would find it difficult to appear in mist, as he was pretty misty -himself to human eyes, even under the best conditions, and advised -postponement. The Pimple cordially agreed that it would be practically -impossible to see a spook on such a day. - -Next day, the 28th March, was overcast and stormy, with rain and a high -wind which would prevent Hill from managing his cloak properly, and we -again postponed by mutual consent. - -At 9 a.m. on 29th March, Moïse came to us in some excitement. There was -trouble afoot. The Commandant and the Cook—the Major of Turkish -Artillery and his orderly—had “quarrelled”! The Commandant had ordered -the Cook to go to Angora (120 miles away) “to fetch some stores.” At -first he had ordered him to go today, and then postponed until tomorrow: -the Cook had seen through the motive of this order. He knew that Kiazim -wanted to prevent him from attending the digging up of the first clue, -in order to make him forfeit his share in the treasure. So the Cook had -flatly refused to go—had mutinied! If Kiazim dared to punish him, he -would “blow the gaff” about the treasure-hunt. - -The Cook was a man—and won. Kiazim gave way. - -I find a note in my diary. It reads: “Considering that, as yet, nothing -has been found, things are pretty warm.” The diary goes on: - -_“30th March._—Another bad day. Hail and sleet. The starvation diet has -brought our belts in a couple of inches, and makes us feel very floppy -and weak, but otherwise we are all right. Our pulses jump from 56 to 84, -with extraordinary variations.” - -We decided that next day, be it wet or fine, we must find the first -clue. The 31st March promised well. The sun shone brightly and there was -little wind. The Pimple was summoned, and the Spook made him repeat his -instructions for the search, in order to make sure that he thoroughly -understood everything; then orders were issued for the Commandant and -the Cook to be ready at noon. While Moïse was away instructing his two -confederates, Hill and I secretly semaphored to Matthews in Posh Castle. -We warned him that Kiazim was joining us in a treasure-hunt, and told -him to watch South hill, and get a few of our friends to do the same. -For the spot where Hill had buried the first clue, two months ago, was -carefully chosen so as to be in full view of the camp, and we hoped our -friends would be able to recognize the Commandant at the distance. Their -recognition would be subsidiary evidence, should the photograph fail. - -At noon we met in the graveyard, outside the town. (There is nothing -like an appropriate background for a spook-chase.) Hill and I held -hands, and after a while went into a trance, and simultaneously saw KKK -sitting on a gravestone. We chatted with him, the Turks listening -eagerly, and then followed his lead up the hill. The procedure was very -similar to the revolver-hunt of six months before. About half-way up the -hill, in order to test the Turks, we both “collapsed” together. Our -friends obeyed instructions. They turned their backs on us and sat down, -carefully refraining from even a glance in our direction. We groaned, -and moaned, and made weird noises to see if they would turn round, but -they paid no attention. All was well, so we “recovered” and went on. -Unfortunately, the weather was again our worst enemy. The promise of the -morning had not been fulfilled; the sun was now hidden behind a heavy -bank of cloud which grew momentarily darker. A slight drizzle began to -fall. - -“Can’t snap ’em in this,” Hill whispered; “keep ’em still.” - -I squeezed his hand to show I understood. A moment later Hill signalled -that we had reached the spot, and “collapsed.” I left him where he fell, -staggered six paces to the left as arranged, and called loudly to the -Turks that the Spook was demanding the Waa test. They hurried past Hill -without a glance at him and took up the positions I assigned, the -Commandant on my right, and the Cook and Interpreter on my left. I began -building the fire, carrying on an animated conversation with the Spook -as I did so, and to my consternation plainly heard the click of Hill’s -camera. He had taken the first photo before I was quite ready. Hastily I -put a match to the fire, and stood up. - -“Watch the fire!” I cried. “For your lives do not move an eyelid. Be -still, and watch the fire for a little bird.” - -Then I stretched my hands above my head and began the incantation, -speaking loudly to drown the noise of the shutter. My arrangement with -Hill was that I should go on reciting Welsh poetry until he got on his -feet, which would be the signal that the camera was safely back in his -pocket. I heard a second click while I was still in the middle of the -first verse of _“Bugeilio’r Gwenith Gwyn”_ and then I heard nothing -more. I seemed to go on reciting for ages, and wondered what was up, and -why the third click was so long in coming. I had finished a favourite -Welsh lullaby and was plunging desperately into a Burmese serenade by -way of variety when I noticed Hill was on his feet, standing quietly -behind the Pimple. He gave an almost imperceptible nod as he caught my -eye, and I broke off. - -“The bird!” I shouted. - -“The bird!” yelled Hill. - -We both pointed to a neighbouring stone, and the Turks, who had remained -motionless throughout the incantation, were galvanized into life again. -Curiously enough, nobody had noticed the bird except Hill and myself! -_We_ had both distinctly seen it settle close beside the stone before it -disappeared into thin air. - -The Cook began to dig where we said the bird had settled. He dug with -such vehemence that he broke his spade. Nothing daunted he fell to with -the adze, and in due course he brought to light a tin can, about four -inches long, carefully soldered at the ends and somewhat rusted. - -“Spread the clean white handkerchief.” The Turks fully understood that -it was not I who spoke, but the Spook through me. - -Moïse obeyed. - -“Now open the receptacle and empty it on to the handkerchief.” - -As Moïse was forcing off the lid of the tin with his knife, Hill and I -drank in the scene. The Commandant’s dark eyes were ablaze in a face as -pale as death. The Cook, all wet with the sweat of his digging, bending -forward with a hand on either knee, looked like savage greed -personified. The Pimple could hardly master the excited trembling of his -hands. His knife slipped and he cut himself. - -“Ha!” said the Spook, “that is good! Blood is drawn, and now no more -need be shed.” - -The lid came off, and the Pimple shook out into the handkerchief—a -little heap of ashes. - -“The emblem of death, as promised,” said the Spook, “Is the tin empty?” - -The Pimple looked inside, thrust in his fingers and felt carefully -round. - -“There is nothing,” he said. - -“Then if that is all,” said the Spook, “you may throw it away.” - -Moïse threw the tin down the hillside. All the light died out of -Kiazim’s eyes, the unhappy Cook opened his mouth to say something, but -remembered the orders for silence in time, and stood with his mouth -agape. Moïse was on the verge of tears. - -“Ha! ha! ha!” said the Spook. “I _said_ a casual person would throw it -away! Cook! Are you more careful than Moïse?” - -_“Evvet!”_ (Yes) said the Cook, shutting his mouth like a rat-trap. Once -more he was all eagerness. - -“Then examine it, Cook!” - -The Cook ran down the hill, picked up the tin, and after a short -examination discovered that it contained a false bottom. But he was -still under the ban of silence. The pantomime he went through in trying -to convey his discovery to the others was almost too much for our -solemnity. He poked a dirty finger alternately into the Commandant’s -side and into the tin, dancing round him the while so that poor Kiazim, -who did not understand what he had found, must have thought the fellow -stark, staring mad. The Pimple pranced about beside the Cook, trying -vainly to see into the tin. He told us afterwards that he thought the -Spook had “materialized” a clue at the last moment and put it into the -tin. Hill and I would have given a month’s pay for freedom to laugh. He -signalled to me to cut the performance short, lest he should give way. - -“Take your scissors,” cried the Spook, “and open it.” - -The Pimple hewed at the tin with his very blunt scissors. In his -excitement he cut himself again—to the delight of the Spook—but finally -got the false bottom opened. It concealed a Turkish gold lira, wrapped -in paper, and the inner layer of paper bore a circle of beautifully -written Armenian characters arranged clockwise. - -“Now you may talk,” said the Spook. - -And talk those Turks did—all together and across each other. For five -minutes they made as much noise as a rookery in nesting-time. The -Commandant shook hands with each of us several times over. The Pimple -was ecstatic. The Cook gave me the fright of my life by trying to kiss -me, which made Hill choke suddenly and turn his back. A little way down -the hill a group of Yozgad inhabitants were watching in open-mouthed -astonishment. The Spook came to the rescue and ordered us all home. - -On the way back the Cook, who was a native of Yozgad, informed us that -we were undoubtedly on the track of the right treasure, and OOO must be -the man we thought, because the spot on which the first clue was found -was on the land of the deceased Armenian whose wealth we were seeking. -Here was another coincidence! - -The Spook’s last instructions before he bade us good-bye were for the -safety of the mediums. He warned us that OOO would probably make an -attempt on our lives that evening. No one, not even the Commandant -himself, was to be allowed to enter between dark and dawn, lest OOO -should “control” the visitor into murdering us. We were to be left -absolutely alone, so that our Spook might watch over us without any -distraction. - -Kiazim Bey rose to the occasion. He doubled the sentries round our -house. He even prohibited the nightly visit of the _Onbashi_ for -roll-call. - -Thus we secured a quiet evening, safe from interruption. Had Kiazim been -able to see into our house about 10 p.m. he might have wondered what was -afoot. Hill was locked up inside a cupboard in a well-darkened room. I -was in the room we usually occupied, pacing up and down in an agony of -impatience and doubt, and ready to intercept any unlikely visitor. Much -depended on the next few minutes. - -At length Hill came out. He carried in his hand a roll of -newly-developed V.P. Kodak films, and without saying anything held it up -between me and the light. I saw three excellent pictures of the -treasure-hunt. - -“They are a bit over-exposed,” Hill grumbled—he is never wholly -satisfied with his own performances—“I gave them too long.” - -Maybe! But it says something for the nerve of the man that he had held -the camera without a quiver for three _time_ exposures under those -conditions. I could see nothing wrong with the negatives. They were -everything I desired, and Bimbashi Kiazim Bey, Commandant of Yozgad, was -clearly recognizable in each. - -At last we had our proof. - - - - - CHAPTER XVIII - - OF A “DREADFUL EXPLOSION” AND HOW OOO SOUGHT TO - MURDER US - - -We had long since decided that the most appropriate date for finding the -second (and last) of the two clues we had made, would be the First of -April. Hill had buried it, he told me, some four miles away on the bank -of a gully beyond the Pinewoods, known to the camp as “Bones’s Nullah.” -The photographs being already taken, we had no troubles to contend with, -or fears of discovery to disturb us, and we set out next day in true -April-fooling spirit. As we walked through the town in our black cloaks, -we passed Lieut. Taylor, R.E., who was inside a shop making purchases -for the camp larder. Taylor was one of two officers in the camp who -definitely knew from Nightingale that the spooking was a fraud. He was -also a fellow-townsman of mine, and a very good friend. He saw the -water-bottles and haversacks we carried, and jumped to the conclusion -that we were being sent away from Yozgad. Like the good fellow he was, -he took no thought of himself, and paid no heed to the Commandant’s -order that no one was to communicate with us. Brushing aside his escort -he ran into the middle of the street and shouted after us to know where -we were being taken. - -“It is April Fools’ Day,” I whispered to Moïse, “I’m going to pull his -leg.” Then, turning round, I shouted back the one word “Sivas” (the name -of a distant town in Anatolia). - -“I’ll write home to your people,” Taylor roared; “you keep alive and -we’ll get you out. We’ll report the blighters to Headquarters.” He knew -the Pimple must understand him, and braved the wrath of the Turks to -cheer us up. - -“He’s a good fellow,” Hill whispered, “tell him it’s all right.” - -But before I could speak, the Pimple broke in. Taylor’s threat to cause -trouble had alarmed him. - -“April Fool!” the Pimple shouted. “It is a joke. We are going a walk.” - -Taylor shook his fist at us playfully, and turned back into the shop. - -For the next mile the Pimple, Hill, and I chatted of the old British -custom of April-fooling. The Pimple translated to the Cook, who was much -interested, but neither of them thought of applying the knowledge thus -acquired to his own case. - -The treasure-hunt began about 20 minutes’ walk outside the town. There -were slight variations from the previous day. YYY allowed the Turks to -talk. He did not at first appear to our vision like KKK, but was able to -make himself heard. We were clairaudient instead of clairvoyant. - -About half way to Bones’s Nullah, my injured knee began to trouble me. -Also we were both suffering from the effects of our starvation, and felt -very weak. But we did not want to tell the Turks of our distress. -Luckily, we came to a stream of running water, and an old superstition -came into my head. - -“Sit down,” said the Spook, “and wait. I cannot cross running water. I -must go round the source.” - -Whilst we waited (and incidentally rested) the Cook told us that what -the Spook said about running water was a well-known fact in Turkey, and -cited instances. In reply I quoted the immortal bard— - - “Now, do thy speedy utmost, Meg, - And win the keystane of the brig: - There at them thou thy tail may toss - A running stream they darena’ cross.” - -And so we chatted until YYY’s voice from the other side of the stream -(only Hill and I heard it, of course) bade us come on. - -[Illustration: WHERE THE SECOND CLUE WAS BURIED—BONES’S NULLAH] - -The remainder of our journey was a repetition of the previous day’s, -save that no photograph was taken; and when the tin box containing a -second lira and another paper of cryptic instructions was unearthed, we -failed to escape the gratitude of the cook. He went on his knees, kissed -our hands, and made a most fervent speech. (The Pimple translated.) He -assured us that our names would never die in Turkey, and that his -grandchildren’s grandchildren would call down blessings on the heads of -Jones and Heel Effendi. We hope they will—it can’t do us any harm. - -All the way back the Turks babbled about the treasure. Two of the three -clues were now found. The Spook was rapidly fulfilling his promises. All -honour to the Spook, to YYY, and to KKK. We must thank them! When we got -back to our prison the spook-board was produced, and the Pimple thanked -all concerned with great solemnity, and asked for further orders. - -The Spook warned us that another attempt might be made on our lives that -night. (On the night of the 31st March OOO had tried, but failed to do -anything.) - -MOÏSE. “May the mediums have extra food to-night? They are very hungry.” - -SPOOK. “Better not. Drink, if they like.” - -MOÏSE. “They would like soup. Do you include soup in drink?” - -SPOOK. “No! No! Not soup! Wine or spirits.” - -MOÏSE. “Are they allowed to go to bed?” - -SPOOK. “Let them amuse themselves, and keep a light burning till after -midnight. I order wine to keep their courage up. They may be sorely -tried, but let them have faith and courage.” - -The Commandant doubled our sentries again, and sent us a bottle of the -best wine we had tasted since the war began, and a flagon of superlative -raki. He was delighted with our success. He sent word that a cipher -telegram[37] had just been received from the Turkish War Office ordering -him to release us from solitary confinement and send us back to the -camp, but he would not bother the Spook with it until next day and -certainly would not execute it until he had consulted our Control. He -thanked us for finding the second clue, and begged us to keep our -courage up whatever OOO might attempt that night. - -Hill and I settled down to discuss our future plans and celebrate our -past success. We allowed ourselves a couple of baked potatoes each, by -way of foundation for the wine, and had a most cheerful evening. - -The Pimple appeared at dawn on the 2nd of April with an anxious face. -The sentries had reported strange noises in the house during the night, -and he was sure OOO had made another attempt on our lives. We told him -that OOO had made a perfect nuisance of himself until well past -midnight. Doors had banged, windows had rattled and footsteps had echoed -through the house. Strange voices had sung weird songs. Several times -OOO had come within an ace of “controlling” us, but our Spook had come -to the rescue. The strain had been terrible. - -“You have no evil effects, I hope?” the Pimple asked. - -“Only a slight headache,” we said together. - -The Pimple congratulated us on being still alive, and escaping so -lightly. It did not occur to him that OOO was not the spirit on whom our -sore heads could justly be blamed. - -Then he asked if he might consult the Spook about the War Office -telegram ordering our release. The explanation of the wire turned out to -be simple enough to a true believer. - -“You remember,” said the Spook, “how I said I might cause Constantinople -to send a telegram (see p. 175)—Well, I had everything ready. Their -minds were prepared to send a wire as soon as I put it into their heads -what to say. OOO got wind of our intention through his medium, who must -have picked up your thought-waves.” - -MOÏSE (aside). “Who _is_ this damned fellow?” - -SPOOK. “It is X” (naming a friend of ours in the camp). “OOO got this -wire sent because he was able to use the ground previously prepared by -me. Do you understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, Sir. We understand.” - -SPOOK. “OOO is determined to stop us finding the treasure. He hoped the -wire would arrive in time to stop the search for the first clue, because -he thought if the Commandant got this wire before anything had been -found he would not believe in me, and being frightened, would send the -mediums back to the camp.” - -The Pimple was much impressed by the cunning of OOO. He agreed that had -the telegram arrived before the finding of the clues, Kiazim Bey would -have been frightened out of his wits. It was, of course, obvious that -our Control had delayed the delivery of the telegram for three days! As -things stood, with two out of three clues already discovered, Kiazim -would not dream of putting an end to our solitary confinement: he fully -trusted our Spook to keep the War Office in order. - -The Turks were now entirely in our hands. Their confidence in the Spook -was absolute. They had reached the high-water mark of faith, and we -determined to rush things through on the full tide of their credulity. -For there was no more “planted treasure” to be dug up, nor could we hope -to increase the trust in us which they already showed, so there was no -sense in delay. - -But their offer to keep us locked up, though satisfactory as a proof of -their faith, did not quite fit in with our plans. Our first object was -to get into touch with somebody in the camp, and give him the negatives -and other proofs of Kiazim’s complicity. Not until then would we be free -to go ahead with our two alternative plans, which, as has already been -explained, were either to get Kiazim to send us somewhere whence escape -would be easy or, failing that, to sham madness in the hope of being -exchanged. At the same time, while gaining access to one man in the -camp, we desired to maintain our splendid isolation so as to enable us -to spook at high pressure without fear of interruption from our brother -officers; for once we had handed over our proofs we intended to rush the -Turks off their legs, while they were still ecstatic over the finding of -the two clues. - -The contingency had already been foreseen and prepared for before we -were locked up, and we got rid of our proofs easily enough. It was done -thus: - -The Spook thanked the Commandant for his trust and his readiness to -disobey the War Office. But to make the disobedience doubly safe, the -responsibility for our continued confinement should be transferred on to -the shoulders of our fellow-prisoners. With this end in view the Spook -announced he had placed Doc. O’Farrell “under control.” Let Moïse go to -the Doc. and say the mediums want some quinine; the proof that the Spook -was in control would be that Doc. would refuse to give any medicine -without first seeing his patients.[38] Moïse was to object a little at -first, but in the end he should permit the visit. “If I am successful,” -the Spook said, “the doctor will be very uneasy about his patients after -his visit. He will go home and consult his text books. Then he will ask -the Commandant’s permission to keep them under medical observation, and -will suggest that they be not permitted walks or access to the other -prisoners until he is satisfied about their health. The Commandant can -then produce the telegram and say, ‘Orders have just come for their -release. I was just going to tell them.’ The doctor, speaking under my -control, will advise him not to tell them just at present, but to keep -them locked up, to which the Commandant will agree. In this way the -Commandant will be free from all blame for their continued -imprisonment.” - -The Pimple thought the plan excellent, and at once put it into -execution. He asked the doctor for some quinine. As previously arranged, -Doc. refused to give it without seeing us. The Pimple, much delighted at -finding the control so perfect, brought him over to us. While the doctor -was examining our tongues and feeling our pulses, Hill slipped into his -pocket a small packet containing— - - (1) A complete copy of the Pimple’s records of the séances. - - (2) A brief explanation of our plans, and a note telling the Doc. -what advice we wished him to give the Commandant, and why. - - (3) The negatives of the treasure-hunt. - - (4) The camera, to be returned to its owner (Lieut. Wright). - -The Pimple and the Doc. left our room together. Ten minutes later the -Pimple came back. He told us the Spook had succeeded partially, but not -wholly. The doctor had obviously been under control, for his hands were -very cold, his face pale, and his voice a trifle shaky. (So they -were—from excitement. He knew something was in the wind.) But outside, -instead of recommending our seclusion, he had recommended walks, as we -looked pale! - -Hill and I knew what had happened—Doc. had given his orders for walks -off-hand, before reading our instructions. Moïse explained that no doubt -the Spook would put things right later, for the doctor had said at -parting that he would visit us again, as he had forgotten to bring his -thermometer. - -We turned again to the spook-board. - -“There were several reasons why I did not do everything at once,” said -the Spook. “First, my motto is _‘Yawash, yawash’_ (slowly, slowly). -Second, I needed all my force for the doctor and could spare none to -instruct the mediums how to answer his questions. Third, you—Moïse—ought -to have remembered that the doctor was under control. You were so -interested that your thoughts interfered with me. Try to keep your mind -a blank next time.” - -The Pimple decided that, to make sure of not interfering, he had better -stay away when the doctor visited us in future. This he did. Naturally, -under these conditions it was easier to explain things to the Doc.; his -preliminary mistake was soon rectified, and he took the responsibility -for keeping us in prison. - -From the 2nd of April until the 5th (when the Spook allowed Kiazim to -make it known that our solitary imprisonment was ended) we had séances -night and day. Indeed from now until we left Yozgad on April 26th we -gave the Turks no rest, and I doubt if any Government business was done -by the Commandant, Cook, or Interpreter except by the order of the -Spook. - -The Commandant asked the Spook, before going on to the third clue, to -assist in interpreting the two clues already found. Although the Turks -had obtained a couple of Armenian dictionaries, the clock-face -arrangement of the letters in the first clue foiled their efforts, for -they could not tell where the message began and therefore could not use -the dictionaries. Further, Armenian has three distinct forms of type, -and the two dictionaries in the Commandant’s possession differed both -from one another and from the writing of the clue, which was in -capitals. - -It would have been easy enough for the Spook to say straight out that -the clue consisted of two Armenian words meaning “South” and “West,” and -as we were in a hurry to get on to the more important task of persuading -Kiazim to give us a free trip to the coast, we resented delay. But -straightforward answers are not indulged in by Spooks. The Commandant -had studied _Raymond_ and knew this. Spooks enjoy puzzling and teasing -people over trifles—Sir Oliver Lodge says so—and the other thing is -simply “not done” in the spook-world. The simplest answer to the -simplest question must be “wropped in mystery.” The Turks expected -mystery, and they got it. Perhaps we were gilding refined gold, but it -is such caution and attention to detail that makes the difference -between the “genuine medium” and the “vulgar fraud.” The reader must not -forget that we belonged to the former category, and had to maintain its -high standard. - -In answer to the appeal for assistance the Spook sent Moïse to fetch a -dictionary. He came back with two, and found us starting our lunch of -dry toast and tea. He did not notice that it was an hour before our -usual lunch time, but sat chatting with us while we ate. I picked up the -two dictionaries, glanced at them one after the other in a casual way, -and set them down again with the remark that the characters looked like -a mixture between Russian and Greek. Then we chatted of cabbages and -kings till the last piece of toast was eaten, when we returned to the -spook-board. - -“Now,” said the Spook, “take a dictionary, Moïse.” - -Moïse picked up one of the books and held it out to the spook-board. - -“Page 792,” said the Spook. - -“Got it,” Moïse answered. - -“Oh,” the glass wrote, “if you’ve got it, you don’t require my help any -more.” - -“I mean I have got the page.” - -“Well, say what you mean! Put your finger on the top left-hand corner.” -(Moïse obeyed.) “More to the right!” (Moïse obeyed.) “There! You are -touching the first three letters of the first word. Now find out!” - -(Here followed a valiant effort by Moïse to puzzle it out, but as the -type was so different from the writing he failed.) - -“Does it mean _‘droit’_?“ he asked. - -“No! Ha! Ha! Ha!” (The glass was laughing.) “Write down a number.” - -Moïse wrote down 473. - -“Add 810 to it and look it up.” (Moïse took up the same dictionary.) -“No, the other book!” - -Moïse looked up page 1283 in the second dictionary and found a similar -word. - -“Does it mean this?” he asked, pointing to the word “South.” - -“Yes, of course,” came the answer. “Now I will number the letters of the -second word for you. Begin—1, 32.” (Moïse began looking up page 132.) -“Foolish! Read what I said. That is the page. I am not numbering the -page, but the letters of the alphabet.” - -“We are hopeless, sir,” said Moïse. - -“1, 32,” said the Spook, “then 5, 11, 20, 31, 1, 15, 24, 18, 20, 22. Now -go home and puzzle it out.” - -Moïse went home and after an hour’s good hard work with the dictionaries -found that the clue meant “South” “West,” the numbers given representing -the position of the letters in the Armenian alphabet. First south and -then west were the directions in which to measure. - -The second clue was a circle containing in the margin two numbers, -either of which might be 61 or 19. (Armenian _figures_ are the same as -our own.) The Spook told the Turks that with the aid of a good compass -it would be quite easy to decipher. (We wanted them to produce a good -compass, and when the time arrived we would “dematerialize” it—for it -would be most useful to us. We liked that word “dematerialize.” It was -much nicer than “steal.”) And there, for the present, the deciphering of -the second clue remained, and we turned our attention to the discovery -of the third, and last. - -The Spook first made an attempt to get into telepathic touch with AAA -through the board. The séance was in many ways most interesting. We had -the greatest difficulty in getting through to Constantinople, and for a -while it looked as if OOO & Co. had captured the thought-wave exchange, -or as if it had been nationalized by the Government of the next sphere, -for we were connected up in turn with all sorts of people with whom we -did not particularly want to talk. We got on to Colonel Maule’s mind, -and were able to assure the Turks that he was not mentioning our case in -his monthly letter to Headquarters. (We had learned this fact from the -Doc., who had questioned Maule.) Then we were switched on to the British -War Office and discovered that our plight was already known there, and -that enquiries were to be made. Next we got Turkish headquarters in -Palestine, and German headquarters in France, and learned interesting -things about the war, but do what we would we could not get -Constantinople. The Spook appealed to us for one last effort. We made -it, got Constantinople, got AAA on the other end of the “thought-wave,” -and immediately got jammed. The opposition had blocked us. The Pimple -was almost in tears—we were so near success and yet so far away! - -“It is that damned OOO again,” he wailed, “he is getting more powerful -since he organized his company.” - -Our Spook made us try again and again till the unhappy Pimple was -completely worn out with recording the meaningless gyrations of the -glass. For us mediums this was easy work—there was no guiding to do, and -we pushed the glass about anywhere, in comfort. When Moïse was half dead -with fatigue, the Spook admitted defeat. But he said there were other -methods. He first offered to control AAA into committing suicide with a -view to getting into touch with his spook afterwards, as in the case of -YYY and KKK. It was easy enough to do, we were told, but the objection -to this method was that the Spook of AAA would learn what had happened, -and might join the opposition out of revenge for his own death. Besides, -even if he proved willing to communicate, it would be some time before -he could learn how to do so, as had already been pointed out. (_Vide_ -our own séances and _Raymond passim_.) - -The Pimple declined to take the risk, and asked that AAA be left alive. -Needless to say his petition was granted. - -There remained, said the Spook, telepathic trance-talk, but this -involved enormous risk to all concerned. Failure might mean loss of -sanity, or even death to the mediums, and equal danger to the sitter if -he made any mistake. There was no other method of finding out the third -clue _in Yozgad_, and the only alternative was to move us away from -Yozgad. - -This led to a long discussion between the Pimple, Hill, and myself. Hill -and I objected strongly to the idea of being moved from Yozgad. We -pointed out that the Commandant was our friend, that we were very -comfortable (except for the starvation), and that nowhere else in Turkey -could we expect to pass our imprisonment under such pleasant conditions. -Therefore we proposed trying the telepathic trance-talk, however -dangerous it might be, and expressed ourselves willing to run any risk -rather than be moved to another camp and another Commandant. - -The Pimple, on the other hand, did not at all relish the idea of either -insanity or death at the hands of the opposition. He thought we ought -not lightly to discard the warning of the Spook. Death, after all, was a -terrible thing. And he himself, as sitter, had an unfortunate habit of -making mistakes. - -We denied that death meant anything for mediums who knew what splendid -activities awaited them in the world of spooks. Indeed we were quite -anxious to pass on. So we forgave the Pimple beforehand for any mistakes -he might make; then we outvoted him, and refused to contemplate a move -until we had tried every possible method in Yozgad. - -The poor little man acquiesced with the best grace he could muster. When -the hour for the trance-talk arrived (it was to take place in the dark) -he shook hands with us very solemnly and took his place in the dark at -the other side of the room. His instructions were to listen, but not to -interrupt. - -Hill and I held hands in the usual way and went off into a trance to the -usual accompaniment of grunts and groans. Then the Spook announced he -was going off to Constantinople (where AAA was for the time being) in -order to put AAA under similar control. - -Hill and I had everything rehearsed beforehand. We waited for the -silence and the darkness to begin to prey on the Pimple’s nerves, and -then rose together, called to the Pimple to follow and set off -downstairs. We talked, as we went, to an imaginary spirit. With the -Pimple at our heels we turned to the left at the bottom of the stair and -passed through a doorway (usually shut) into a large hall on the ground -floor. Immediately there was the bang of a most terrific explosion. Hill -and I shrieked to Moïse to run. Blind with terror, the poor little -fellow rushed out of the house and smashed into the ten-foot wall of the -yard, which he vainly sought to climb. Then, recovering himself bravely, -he came back to our rescue. We were half-way up the wooden stairs that -led to our room, bawling for help at the top of our voices, and -wrestling desperately with an invisible opposition in the dark. First -one and then the other of us fell clattering to the bottom of the -stairs. As fast as we climbed up we were thrown down again. The night -was filled with our groans and shouts, and the noise of blows. The din -was terrific. - -Moïse often told us afterwards that it was the most awe-inspiring -incident in all his spooking experience. It was so dark on the stairs -that he could see nothing, but he realized that we were fighting for our -lives. Sometimes our calls for help sounded so agonized he feared we -were losing the struggle. - -It was small wonder our voices were “agonized,” for we were really -suffering most abominably from a desire to laugh. The tumult on the -stairs was of course prearranged. First Hill dragged me backwards then I -dragged him, and we both yelled at the top of our voices, pounded one -another in the dark, kicked and stamped and raved to drown the laughter -that was rising within us. We were seeking to terrify Moïse into another -flight, and hoped he would make a bolt for home, but we failed. We did -not know until afterwards that he had left the key of the outer gate in -our room upstairs, and was as much a prisoner as ourselves. - -The end came suddenly; Hill was halfway upstairs, holding on to the -banisters with both hands and shaking them till they rattled. I had him -by the ankles and was heaving and hauling in an endeavour to break his -grip and give him as bumpy a passage to the bottom as he had just given -me. We were both yelling blue murder. Then the Pimple took a hand in the -fight. He came up to within a foot of my back in the dark, stamped his -heavy boots loudly on the wooden stairs, and cried _“Shoo—shoo!”_ in a -very frightened voice. The idea of “shoo-ing” away a malignant spirit -who was intent on our murder was too much for us; Hill let go of the -banisters and I loosed his heels at the same instant, and we fled -together to our room to suffocate our laughter in our blankets,—a -_“fuite precipitée au haut de l’escalier”_ Moïse called it in his notes. -The Pimple followed, and bravely took up his position at his table. I -must admit the little rascal had courage where spooks were concerned, -for he took out his pencil and carefully recorded the curious sounds we -made in stifling our laughter, annotating the whole with the remark, -“cries of souls in torment.” Finally we got back into our chairs, and -with the usual groans and grunts the “power passed away.” The Pimple lit -the lamp and peered at us anxiously. - -“Did anything happen? Have we found it?” I asked. - -“It has been terrible—atrocious!” said the Pimple. “You feel all right? -You are sane? Eh?” - -At his request we examined ourselves. We found bruises; I had barked my -shins, Hill’s nose was skinned, and though it was a cold night we were -both bathed in perspiration. - -We affected not to understand, and the Pimple gave us a lurid account of -the night’s performance. Then we turned to the Spook for further light -on the subject. - -In preparing us for the trance-talk the Spook had warned us: “It is like -a battle. While I am attacking AAA at Constantinople, the opposition may -suddenly counter-attack on my mediums, and as I have told you, I have no -reserves.” This was exactly what happened; our Spook put us into a -trance and turned his force on AAA. While he was doing so, OOO stepped -in, pretending to be AAA., and taking advantage of the trance state of -the mediums counter-attacked by leading them, not to the third clue, but -into a trap. It had been a second and most brutal attempt to kill the -mediums. Our Spook had arrived back from Constantinople just in time to -interpose between us and the “explosion,” and to divert the missiles. -“The missiles themselves are of course invisible in your sphere,” our -Spook explained, “but their results, and the results of the explosion -you heard, are visible. Would you like to see them?” - -“Is there no danger?” Moïse asked. - -“No, I am with you,” said the Spook. - -We took a candle and went cautiously downstairs and into the hall below. -The place was in a fearful mess. At the end where we had entered, the -floor was deep in broken plaster, and in the wall, all round the spot -where we had been standing when the explosion took place, were ten great -holes. Moïse probed those he could reach with shaking fingers, but found -no missiles. As the Spook had said, the “missiles were invisible.” -Awestruck, we returned upstairs. - -“The mediums and I thank you sincerely,” said Moïse to the Spook. “It -was a dreadful explosion. We are grateful to you.” - -“You are a brave man, Moïse,” the Spook replied. “I congratulate you. -Your presence on the stair and your stamping helped me. Well done! But -you see it is very dangerous. I think you are satisfied it is too risky. -You had better consent to Plan 2.” - -Moïse was satisfied—eminently satisfied—but Hill and I were not. We -protested against leaving Yozgad, and wanted to try again, whatever the -danger might be. But Moïse had had enough. He agreed with the Spook that -we ought to try another plan, that this was too risky, and when we would -not yield he went off to tell the Commandant that he would resign his -position as “sitter” and give up the treasure unless we agreed to being -moved as the Spook suggested. He returned with the news that the -Commandant was strongly in favour of Plan 2, because if his mediums were -killed all hope of the treasure would be gone. Plan 2 entailed our -leaving Yozgad. - -We had got what we wanted. The Turks were now keen on moving us. We did -not trouble to explain that the “explosion” which had frightened them -was caused by Hill banging shut a heavy trap-door left open for that -purpose, or that the ten “shell holes” in the wall represented some hard -work with the pick we had borrowed for the treasure-hunt. Indeed, if we -_had_ said so, they would not have believed us! - - - - - CHAPTER XIX - - OF THE FOUR POINT RECEIVER AND HOW WE PLANNED TO - KIDNAP THE TURKISH STAFF AT YOZGAD - - -On the First of April the Pimple had let slip a morsel of valuable -information. He told us that the Changri prisoners were coming to Yozgad -_in charge of their own Commandant and Interpreter_. - -“That solves one difficulty,” I said to Hill, after the Pimple had gone -away. - -“How?” - -“For the escape stunt. If we persuade them to send us to the coast all -three will want to come with us, because they don’t trust each other. -But if they can leave the Changri Commandant and Interpreter in charge -of this camp it should be easy enough for Kiazim and the Pimple to get -away. The Cook can always come as Kiazim’s orderly.” - -“You mean,” said Hill, “that you expect all three to come with us to the -coast?” - -“More than that,” said I. “I’ve a plan for getting them to provide a -boat for us. I believe if they do so they will be too frightened to give -the alarm when we bolt, and we’d get a good start.” - -In his function as critic Hill listened to my plan for persuading the -Turks to get us a boat. Then he sat silent for some time. - -“Good enough,” he said at last, “but why leave the Turks behind? Why not -take them with us in the boat? In short, why not kidnap ’em?” - -It was my turn to sit silent. - -“I believe we two could sandbag three Turks any day,” Hill grinned, “and -it would be some stunt to hand over a complete prison camp Staff to the -authorities in Cyprus. The giddy old War Office would be quite amused, I -do believe, and a laugh would cheer them up. And think of the British -public! If the German communiqués are true our folks should be in the -dumps just now, with our armies in France being pushed about, and Paris -being shelled and all the rest of it. It would do ’em a power of good to -see a par. about us in their breakfast newspapers! Think of the heading: -‘Kidnapping of Yozgad Camp Officials’—‘Spoofed by a Spook.’ And think of -the joy of Sir Oliver Lodge!” - -“There’s another point,” said I. “If they were with us they couldn’t -raise the alarm.” - -“That settles it, doesn’t it?” Hill asked. - -It did. We decided to kidnap as many of the Turks as we could. - -On his next visit the Doc. carried away in his pocket a rough skeleton -of our two plans (i.) for kidnapping the Commandant, and (ii.) for -shamming mad. We asked him to give us his advice, especially about the -madness, and also to discuss the plans with three men who had taken -risks by sending us messages during our imprisonment, and on whose sound -judgment we relied. These were Matthews, Price, and Hickman. We asked -them to help us for the kidnapping stunt by procuring us a map of the -south coast, morphia (to drug the Turks with) and an adze to use as a -weapon should morphia and sandbags fail. We thought we could carry one -adze for chopping firewood without causing any suspicion. - -In reply we got a letter from Matthews. It was a good letter, and the -talk in it was as straight as the writer. He said he thought the madness -plan was impossible. But he thoroughly approved of the kidnapping. He -did not want to “butt in” at the eleventh hour, after most of the hard -work had been done, but if we could do it without upsetting our plans he -would be most uncommon glad to be allowed to join our party. Would we -take him? He could sail a boat with anyone, with or without a compass, -and could do his share in a scrap. - -We discussed his letter very carefully. We replied that there was nobody -in the camp we would rather take as a companion, and that he would be -most useful to us if we could fit him in. Our acceptance of him as a -third member of our party was, however, conditional. We warned him that -if at any time we found his presence was endangering our escape, we -should “throw him overboard” without compunction. And on the ground that -we knew more about spooking than he did, we demanded unquestioning -obedience. He gave the promise we required with alacrity, and we set to -work. - -Our first step the reader has seen—we persuaded the Turks that it would -be necessary to move us. At the same time we sent Kiazim Bey to the -official Turkish doctors in Yozgad with a carefully prepared story of -his ill-health. Kiazim was a victim to biliary colic, and we learned -privately from Doc. O’Farrell what he ought to say in order to induce -the Turkish doctors to believe he might be suffering from stone in the -hepatic duct. Under orders from the Spook he said it, and the Turkish -doctors gave him their written recommendation for three months’ leave. -He was very grateful to the Spook who, in his opinion, had “controlled” -the Turkish doctors, and he told us that Constantinople would -undoubtedly grant him the leave on the strength of his medical -certificate, especially as he could hand over charge to the Changri -Commandant, who was coming with the next prisoners. - -The question of leave for the Pimple and the Cook was simple. The -Commandant could—and would—grant it. - -So far as the three Turks were concerned, the difficulty of leaving -Yozgad was thus solved. There remained Hill and myself, and if possible -Matthews. We first thought of leaving Yozgad as members of the Afion -party, intending to get the Commandant to separate us from the party at -railhead (Angora). Here are the Spook’s instructions: - -“Let the Superior go to Col. Maule or send word to him as follows:—The -two officers Jones and Hill are now free but they will not be allowed to -write letters during April. I am anxious to get rid of these two men, -but have not yet heard if Constantinople wishes them kept here pending -the completion of the enquiry as to their correspondent in the town. If -they are not required here I shall send them to Afion. Will you please -warn any two of the twenty officers nominated that their places may be -taken by Jones and Hill? I have already informed Jones and Hill of this, -and am permitting them to stay in the Colonels’ House till the party -leaves for Afion.” - -Next day (April 5th) the Pimple reported having given the Spook’s -message to Colonel Maule, and showed to the spook-board the following -reply from the Colonel: - -“MR. MOÏSE, - - “I should like to see the Commandant _as soon as possible_. As all -the officers detailed for Afion have made their arrangements, sold or -broken up their furniture, written to England, etc., there is only one -who wants to stay here now, and it is rough luck on them to upset the -whole arrangement after the Commandant would not let Lieut. Jones’s and -Hill’s names go in originally. - - (Signed) N.S. MAULE, - - “5.4.18. LT.-COL. R.F.A.” - -The letter interested us because it showed that the Pimple had told the -truth when he informed us of the previous attempt to get rid of “the -black sheep.” It was also a trifle annoying, because it upset our plans -a little. To have overridden the Colonel’s objections would have been -easy, and I was on the point of making the Spook do so (this was one of -the occasions when there had been no opportunity for consultation with -Hill) when I was struck by the possibilities in one phrase—“there is -only one who wants to stay here now.” This was what we wanted. It should -be easy for Matthews to change places with that one, while Hill and I -could be _added_ to the party as far as Angora—we had no intention -whatsoever of accompanying them further, or of allowing Matthews to do -so. But there was not much time for reflection. - -“What do you think of this? What do you advise?” Moïse asked excitedly -of the Spook. - -SPOOK. “Do not forget your manners, Moïse! _I_ always say ‘good-evening’ -to _you_.” - -MOÏSE. “I beg your pardon, Sir. I am very sorry.” - -SPOOK. “All right. Now ask.” (Moïse repeated the question). “Poor Moïse! -Poor Moïse! This is terrible, is it not? You thought I wanted these two -mediums to be in the twenty, did you not?” (_Note._—This was “eyewash” -talk—to gain me a little time to think out a reply.) - -MOÏSE. “Yes, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “Ha! Ha! Ha! So did OOO. Listen! I cannot tell you my plans -beforehand, because it will lead to interference. I _wanted_ OOO to read -your thoughts last night to deceive him into helping us. Yesterday -several of the twenty did not want to go. Today _all_ wanted to go. OOO -did that.” - -The Spook went on to explain that in addition to wasting OOO’s force on -irrelevant matters, the real object of the message had been to let the -camp know that the Commandant would send away Hill and myself as soon as -possible, and so it was natural enough for us to remain in the Colonels’ -House (where we were free to spook) instead of rejoining our respective -messes. We _would_ be sent away, but not to Afion. Then the following -reply was dictated by the Spook: - -“_To Colonel Maule_— - -“I have no desire to cause any inconvenience, so allow the matter to -stand as it is at present. The reason for my message of yesterday was -merely that I had been given to understand that several officers did not -want to go. I simply sought an easy way of allowing two to stay. I do -not wish to upset your arrangements, and if it is not necessary to keep -Jones and Hill here, I can easily apply to Constantinople to punish them -further by transferring them to Afion.” - -Moïse was to add, verbally, that “immediately on receipt of Colonel -Maule’s objections, the Commandant had written to Constantinople asking -for Hill and myself to be transferred to another camp.” And he was to -let it be known that, though we would not be included in the Afion -party, we would be _added_ to it, and travel with it at least as far as -Angora. This Moïse did, and in due course reported that the reply “had -comforted everybody.” Colonel Maule was very pleased, and thanked the -Commandant. - -The secret plan on which Hill and I were now working was perhaps -sufficiently ingenious to merit a detailed description. The Turks, of -course, did not know it beforehand, but were to be introduced to it bit -by bit as it developed. It was as follows: - -1. The Spook would “control” Hill and myself into a nervous breakdown of -sufficient severity to induce the Turkish doctors at Yozgad to recommend -our transfer to Constantinople. - -2. The Spook would draft a letter to Constantinople from the Commandant -reporting our sickness, enclosing copies of the Turkish doctors’ -recommendations, and stating that he would seize the first opportunity -of sending us to a Constantinople hospital. Office copies of this letter -would be kept by the Yozgad office in the usual way. The original would -be signed, sealed, and put in an envelope addressed to the Turkish War -Office. _But it would never be delivered._ It would be “lost in the -post” for the simple reason that it would never be posted, though the -office staff would think it had gone. - -3. As soon as news arrived that the Changri Commandant had left Angora -_en route_ for Yozgad, Kiazim was to telegraph to Constantinople about -his own health, quoting the opinion of the doctors already obtained, ask -for leave, and suggest that he hand over charge to the Changri -Commandant. By the time the Changri man arrived, the answer should have -come from the War Office, and, in view of his influence at headquarters, -Kiazim had already told us he could (with the aid of the doctors’ -recommendations) get leave at any time. - -4. A day or two before the arrival of the Changri Commandant Kiazim was -to give the Pimple leave of absence. The Pimple would join the Afion -party as far as Angora (railhead) in order to avail himself of the -Government transport. (_Note._—We modified this later, and the Pimple -was actually sent on duty to look after the “nervous breakdowns.”) - -5. The Cook was to be detailed as one of the escort of the Afion party, -but was to be under orders to accompany it only as far as Angora, where -he was to stay behind “to make purchases for the Commandant’s wife.” - -6. In handing over charge of the camp Kiazim would point out to his -successor from Changri the office-copy of the letter about us (which had -_not_ been sent), and suggest we be added to the Afion party. This we -could accompany as far as railhead at Angora, where there was a -prisoners’ camp and a hospital in which we could wait till an -opportunity arose for sending us on to Constantinople. (_Note._—We would -arrange, as we eventually did, to be taken not to the camp or the -hospital, but to a hotel in Angora; but Yozgad would know nothing of -this.) Had we been really “nervous breakdowns” this would have been the -natural thing to do. The Changri man would thus take over the camp two -officers short, but would report the numbers as “complete and all -correct.” We did not know if it was customary for the newcomer to report -to headquarters the exact number of prisoners taken over by him, and the -Spook intended to get Kiazim to dodge such a definite statement if -possible. But we did know that the report, if sent, would be sent in -writing (taking a week to ten days), and what with 20 officers and 10 -orderlies going to Afion, and 44 officers and 25 orderlies coming in -from Changri, with possibly some sick dropped _en route_, headquarters -would either not notice the shortage or think it an arithmetical error. -If they did happen to make any enquiries about it, the new Commandant -would refer them to the letter about us, which they had never received, -and we were quite sure that the result would be an ordinary -inter-departmental wrangle as to the correctness of a set of figures, -and possibly a post-office enquiry about a missing letter. I had not -spent a dozen years in Government service without learning how easy it -is for the real point at issue to be obscured. And long before the War -Office and Yozgad had got beyond the stage of arithmetical calculations, -we hoped to be in Cyprus or Rhodes. As to Colonel Maule’s monthly letter -to H.Q., we intended asking him, as a favour, to continue saying nothing -about us. - -7. The Commandant, when going on leave, would travel with us. It would -be the natural thing to do, because he would thus get a free passage by -Government cart as far as railhead, and also, the country being full of -bandits, he would have the advantage of an armed escort. - -If all went well, then, the effect would be that Hill and I would be on -the road with the Pimple, the Cook, and the Commandant, and once the -Afion party had left us behind in the hotel at Angora, nobody would know -anything about us. Yozgad officials would not worry because we had set -out for Constantinople; Constantinople would not worry because they -would not know we were coming. Angora prisoners’ camp would not worry -because we would be under our own escort, and not “on their strength.” -It is an exceptional Turk who is a busybody—they are too lazy to -interfere with affairs that are not their concern—and the gold -epaulettes on Bimbashi Kiazim Bey’s uniform would be guarantee enough of -our respectability. To make ourselves as inconspicuous as possible Hill -and I would dress in the rough Turkish soldiers’ uniform which had been -issued to the British orderlies at Yozgad—we each had a suit of it—and -discard all badges of rank. There was no reason why anyone in authority -should question two British prisoners who looked like miserable and -half-starved privates—the sight was too common. We might go anywhere in -Turkey with Kiazim Bey, and before we left Yozgad Kiazim Bey would know -that his job was to take us to the Mediterranean seaboard. - -Our first task was to introduce the Turks, as carefully as possible, to -the idea of taking us to the coast. Once that was accomplished we could -tackle the Matthews problem. - -We worked at tremendous pressure, and developed all our main points -simultaneously. During the five days when we held up Constantinople’s -order to release us. Doc. O’Farrell visited us daily and secretly -instructed us in the symptoms of nervous breakdowns. He told the Pimple -he thought our minds were affected, and the Pimple thought the Spook had -“controlled” him into believing this. When we had thoroughly mastered -the Doc.’s instructions, the Spook caused Kiazim to tell the camp we -were free. The object of this, the Spook explained quite frankly to our -Turkish confederates, was to enable us to have visitors, so that when -visitors came we might be “controlled” by the Spook into most eccentric -behaviour. The result, as the Spook pointed out, was that the camp -thought us crazy. The Turks came to the conclusion we hoped they would -reach—that the Spook intended to get the doctors to recommend our -removal from Yozgad. Kiazim was greatly pleased with the idea, for the -doctors’ recommendations would relieve him of all responsibility. - -Our first visitors were Matthews and Price, who came in with the Doc. To -them, when they came, I made my long-delayed confession that every -“message” obtained through my “mediumship” had been of my own invention, -and that not only the Turks but also my friends in the camp had been -victimized. It was then, for the first time, that I realized how -difficult it is to convince a True Believer of the truth. In spite of -what I said, these three, who were all my own “converts,” tried to force -me to admit that there was “something in spiritualism,” and that at -least _some_ of the messages for which I was responsible were “genuine.” -They quoted the incidents of “Louise” and the code-test against me, and -when I had explained these Matthews turned on me with, “Well, we have -got one thing out of it, anyway! We have proved the possibility of -telepathy. For I don’t believe that the show you two fellows gave at the -concert _could_ have been a fraud.” In reply Hill picked up a small -notebook, and handed it to Matthews. - -“There’s the code we used,” he said. - -To tell a man that you have been “pulling his leg” and “making a fool of -him” for your own ends is a very severe test of friendship, and for our -friendship’s sake we had long dreaded this revelation. But we could not -go on using these good fellows any longer without a full confession. - -“Hill and I hope you can forgive us,” I concluded lamely. - -“Forgive you!” cried Price. “I take my hat off to you! If there is -anything we can do to help——” - -“Count on us,” said Matthews, “we want to be in it.” - -“Faith,” laughed the Doc., “I seem to be in it already, though it is -little I knew it—an’ I mean to stay in it! From now on you’ve got to -tell me _everything_. I couldn’t sleep o’ nights if you didn’t go on -using me.” - -And that is how the Submarine Man, and the Sapper, and the Scientist -from Central Africa took their generous and gentle revenge. - -For the rest the Spook was very thorough. It refused to allow us to -wash, or shave, or sweep out our room. It made us infernally rude to -many of our visitors. It controlled us into lodging wild accusations -against our best friends. It made us refuse to go out, and ordered us to -put a notice on our door— - - “GO AWAY! _WE_ DON’T WANT TO SEE _YOU_!” - -Yet many good fellows forced their way in. Our condition distressed -them. We were unshaven and dirty, our faces pale, drawn, and very thin. -The fortnight’s starvation had put a wild look into our eyes. But our -chief pride and horror was our hair—we had refrained from cutting it for -the last two months, and now we did not brush it, so that it stood up -round our heads like the quills of the fretful porcupine. To cap -everything there was the studied filth of our room. - -The best way to get a man to agree to a plan is to make him think it is -of his own invention. This was the system we followed with the Turks. -After the “explosion” the Turks had (of themselves, they thought) -decided we must be moved from Yozgad. The Spook pointed out that two -problems remained—_how_ were we to be moved, and _where_ were we to go? -These, also, we caused the Turks to solve for us, in the way we wanted. - -“I want to see you try the same problems as you are giving me to do,” -said the Spook, “because when we all think together, it helps.” - -MOÏSE. “We thought you _had_ a plan ready.” - -SPOOK. “So I have, but I dare not tell it yet because of OOO. I want you -all, the Sup. and the Cook too, to invent plans, because your thinking -about these will confuse OOO, and so help me by reducing his force. -Write down all your plans and bring them to me.” - -The Commandant, the Cook, and the Pimple spent all their spare time -manufacturing plans. They appealed to Hill and myself to help, but we -turned out to be singularly uninventive, and beyond an occasional -suggestion (calculated to put them on the right lines) they got nothing -out of us. We excused ourselves for our failure by saying that the -English are a very practical race and have no imagination. The three -Turks thought that however good we might be as mediums, we were -hopelessly dull at what Moïse called “intrigue.” - -Within 36 hours of the explosion, the Commandant, inspired by Doc. -O’Farrell’s fears as to our sanity, produced the following plan. I quote -it in full from the Pimple’s notes, and the reader can see for himself -how near it came to being what we wanted: - -“Écrire à Constantinople déclarant que deux officiers par suite du -pouvoir qu’ils out de communiquer par telepathie et ayant abusé de ce -pouvoir, sont dans un état mental excessif qui pourrait avoir une -influence néfaste sur leur physique ou cerveau. Par conséquence prière -de les envoyer à Constantinople afin de les faire examiner par des -spécialistes et de découvrir les moyens de les guérir. L’Interprête -connaissant toutes ces questions, il serait utile de l’envoyer avec eux -soit pour les empêcher de tâcher de communiquer soit pour les surveiller -plus efficacement.” - -There were several other plans by both Moïse and Kiazim, who were -certainly inventive enough. The poor old Cook could only think of one -plan—he was an unimaginative person like ourselves. It was to get horses -and clap us on them, and gallop gaily across country wherever the Spook -might want us to go. The Cook would have done it, and Hill and I would -have been only too delighted to do it, but for Kiazim it was much too -open and direct. He wanted his own tracks well hidden before he moved, -and would not countenance it—at this stage. - -We were quite satisfied with Kiazim’s proposal as a basis for our plans. -But we pretended to object to it very strongly. We said we were afraid -we might be certified mad, and consequently lose our jobs when we -returned to England after the war, as well as make our relatives anxious -in the meantime. The Pimple asked for the Spook’s opinion on our -objection, and the Spook was very angry. - -“I do not say this is my plan,” said the Spook, “but I warn you if I -order anything you must do it. IF YOU DISOBEY YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE -_REAL MADNESS_! Choose! Obedience or real madness!” - -“Obedience, absolute obedience!” said Hill and I together, “and please -look after us.” - -“Don’t worry,” said the Spook, and then announced its intention of -developing the plan, but went no further for the present. (_Note._—The -lines on which we would develop it have already been indicated to the -reader—paragraphs 1 and 2 of the plan above.) - -The _how_ of our going having been solved, the Spook turned to the -question of _where_ we were to go. It suggested that the medical leave -on which Kiazim’s mind was now set could be usefully employed for three -purposes simultaneously; first, finding the treasure, second, curing the -Commandant’s disease, and third, giving the mediums a well-deserved -holiday and bringing them back to Yozgad with their health fully -restored. Where, then, would Kiazim like to go for a holiday? Kiazim -thought Constantinople would be the very place, for AAA was there; we -could read his thoughts and find the third clue, and have a most -excellent time. The Spook agreed that Constantinople would be first-rate -for those purposes, provided AAA had not gone on tour to Tarsus or -somewhere of that sort, but unfortunately a big town would be most -prejudicial to Kiazim’s health. He required some quiet place, and the -Spook asked the Turks what sort of place they preferred, whether -mountains, desert, or sea. - -“We prefer sea,” said Moïse, after vainly trying to get the Spook to -agree to “a house near the mosque of Ladin in Konia.” - -SPOOK. “Noted.” - -MOÏSE. “Thank you, Sir. May the mediums choose a place? They want -Cairo.” - -SPOOK. “They must go where I send them—ha! ha!” - -MOÏSE. “May I choose a place out of Turkey? Do you count Egypt in -Turkey?” - -(This was delightful—it showed Moïse remembered the Spook’s secret -advice to him to “seize the first opportunity of going to Egypt.” But we -must not move too fast.) - -“It is not yet in Turkey,” said the Spook, and turned to another -subject. - -The Turks were now settled in their own minds that we would go to some -quiet place on the sea-coast. They would have liked “a good time” in -Constantinople, but were quite reconciled to a seaside resort. We -decided to do more than reconcile them to it—we would make them madly -keen to go there. And this is how we did it. - -(I quote the records again.) - -SPOOK. “Do you understand wireless, Moïse?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, I do, a little. I have just read something about it.” -(_Note._—The Spook had previously instructed him to translate to the -Commandant a very technical book on wireless telegraphy which was in the -camp library.) - -SPOOK. “Now for thought-waves. They are fourth dimension waves, so you -will find it difficult.” - -MOÏSE. “Please try to make us understand it.” - -SPOOK. “Thought is similar to wireless waves in some ways. For example, -it travels best over water. Mountains interfere. A dry desert is bad. -Thought-waves are stronger at night. Interference by other ions is easy. -For example, what OOO did the other night” (_i.e._, when he blocked the -line to Constantinople) “was to intersperse what we call ‘teletantic -ions’ amongst the telechronistic. So you got wrong letters. If Yozgad -was flat and wet, or an island, it would be much harder for OOO to -interfere.” - -MOÏSE. “You mean it is easier to interfere at night?” - -SPOOK. “No! It is not easier to interfere at night. I did not say that. -I said the waves are stronger at night.” (Moïse: “I am sorry, Sir.”) “I -mean exactly what I say—interference by interspersing teletantic ions is -easy, provided the waves are feeble—that is to say, if the distance is -great or the locality is dry and mountainous. In all these respects it -is like wireless. Also as regards the square of the distance, of which I -told you.” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, Sir. We remember.” - -SPOOK. “Thought-reading at a distance requires conditions which are -exactly the opposite of those necessary for clairvoyance. For -clairvoyance you need a dry clear day, as in the case of KKK, and height -helps. That is one reason why I was always doubtful if I could do all -three clues here in Yozgad.” - -MOÏSE. “Quite true.” - -SPOOK. “I guessed if I got one lot I must fail with the other, as we had -opposition. Now let me explain how thought-waves _differ_ from wireless -waves. First: direction. Moïse, which direction is best for wireless?” - -MOÏSE. “I think it is East to West. I do not remember.” - -SPOOK. “Wrong! Look it up!” - -MOÏSE (referring to his book on wireless). “It is North to South.” - -SPOOK. “Right! Now thought-waves have three bad directions and one good -one. The good one is South to North. When travelling in that way the -wave is at its strongest. Also, in wireless you have an immense number -of radiating waves. In thought you have only one wave. Wireless waves -_radiate_. Understand?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes.” - -SPOOK. “The single thought-wave goes like this—draw the motion of the -glass.” (_Note._—The glass moved in a left-hand spiral and Moïse drew a -picture of a spiral.) - -“Now thought-waves are attracted by water, as if gravity kept them down -low. They travel close to the surface of the sea. The bigger the expanse -of water, the more the main body and force of the wave is centred low -down. But land has the opposite effect. It throws the main body of the -wave high in the air. See?” - -MOÏSE. “Yes, Sir.” - -SPOOK. “The bigger the expanse of land and the higher the mountains and -the drier the surface, the higher becomes the main body of the wave, so -by the time a thought transmitted from Paris reaches the middle of China -it is very high and only the ragged edges are within reach. Now the only -thing that will bring it down again is a big expanse of water, and the -descent is gradual like the trajectory of a bullet.” - -A glance at a map will show whither all this rigmarole was tending. At -Yozgad it would be difficult to read AAA’s thoughts because the -thought-wave, starting in a left-hand spiral from Constantinople, would -be bumped up by the Taurus mountains and the dryness of the desert to -the north of them, and would pass very high over Yozgad. Down at the -Mediterranean coast things would be simple, for the wave would pass low -down over the surface of the sea. The Black Sea would be almost as -hopeless as Yozgad, unless we went out a long way from shore to where -the wave had again reached the surface of the water. The best time to -pick it up would be when it was at its strongest, i.e., in the night. - -The next step was to dangle a fresh bait in front of the Turks. We had -got the sea—we wanted the boat. - -“I have an idea of trying the _‘Four Cardinal Point Receiver’_ if you -will help,” said the Spook. - -Moïse naturally asked what the “Four Cardinal Point Receiver” might be. - -The Spook told us it was a secret method of thought-reading not known in -our sphere. It had once been known to the ancient Egyptians (the Pimple -pricked up his ears at the mention of Egypt) but the knowledge had been -lost. It was based on the principle which we had already learned—“that -once a thought has been thought it is always there,” or, in more -technical language, the thought-wave once created becomes telechronistic -and travels in an eternal spiral in the fourth dimension of space. The -method of the Four Cardinal Point Receiver was infinitely preferable to -our cumbersome “trance-talk” and “Ouija” methods of thought-reading, -because by them you could only read the thoughts of persons you knew -existed, whereas by the Egyptian method every thought was accessible to -us. “That is to say,” said the Spook, “you can know anything that has -ever happened anywhere and at any time. _Not only this treasure but all -treasures and all knowledge will be revealed._” If we promised to try -it, the Spook agreed to tell us how it was done, but it must be kept a -profound secret. - -We promised, and the secret was revealed. I present it, free of charge, -to all mediums, amateur and professional, who happen to be at a loss to -invent some fresh leg-pull. Here it is: - -Get on to the surface of the sea—preferably in a boat—so as to be on a -level with the main body of the thought-wave. Go at night when the wave -is at its strongest. Take with you, ready prepared, a drink that is -stimulating to the nerves—e.g., coffee. Four of you, facing in different -directions, drink quickly and in silence. Then lie down, and pillow your -heads on vessels of pure water[39]—which will help to concentrate the -telechronistic wave. Then count three hundred and thirty-three. Having -counted, think of a pleasant memory for five minutes. All this to be -done with your eyes open. The counting should be aloud, but in a low -murmuring tone, and the process of counting up to three hundred and -thirty-three and thinking for five minutes must be repeated three times -in all, for three is the mystic number in the system. The object so far -is to make the mind “receptive.” You next think hard of what you want to -discover. - -“Then,” said the Spook, “you try to—well, there is no human word for it. -It is something like going to sleep, and the sensations are similar, if -you are going to be successful. You will drop OUT, as it were. Do you -understand?” - -“We do not understand the last sentence,” said Moïse. - -“It is difficult,” the Spook said. “Once you have felt it you will -understand. It is _like_ dropping to sleep, but it is really dropping -_out_ of what you call the present time and place into the past time and -place which you willed to see.” - -“Are only the mediums able to see, or everybody?” - -“It will be all, or none,” said the Spook. - -Here was “some offer”! Not merely one treasure, but _all_ treasures -would be ours. And Asia Minor, every Turk believes, is full of buried -treasure. The stuff hidden before the recent Armenian massacres would be -a fortune in itself, and when one thought of the past—of the Greeks, and -Romans, and Persians—why! There was no limit to the wealth that lay -within our grasp. - -“I am so glad we chose the seaside for our holiday,” said the Pimple. -“It fits in beautifully.” - -“It does,” we agreed. - -“But I don’t quite understand about this ‘dropping OUT,’ do you?” - -“No,” said Hill slowly. “Seems to be something like a trance. Anyway, -the Spook has promised we’ll know all about it when we wake up.” - -“Fancy,” said Moïse, “_all_ treasures and _all_ knowledge! I do hope we -can leave Yozgad soon.” - -He went off to dream about all the treasures of all time for the few -hours that remained of the night. - -I looked across the spook-board at Hill. His face was drawn with -weariness. Séances lasted anything up to six hours; it had been a very -hard week, and he was pinched and pale with hunger. But his eyes were -glittering. - -“What do you think?” I asked. - -He pulled out of his pocket two little tubes of morphia pills and looked -at them reflectively. - -“I was wondering,” he said, “how many of these it takes in coffee to -kill a man. It would be a pity to murder the Pimple, he’s such a True -Believer, and I’d like to get him an introduction to Sir Oliver Lodge.” - -“But,” I objected, “when he wakes up and finds himself half way to -Cyprus, he won’t be a True Believer any more, and he’ll try to cut -Lodge’s throat if he meets him.” - -“Don’t you believe it,” said Hill. “True Believers remain True Believers -right through everything. When our three wake up they’ll think that OOO -is in charge of the boat—that’s all!” - - - - - CHAPTER XX - - IN WHICH WE ARE FOILED BY A FRIEND - - -The idea of the immense wealth that awaited them at the coast filled the -minds of the Turks to the exclusion of everything else. The original -treasure—a mere £18,000—became insignificant and paltry; and, compared -with the Four Cardinal Point Receiver, the methods of discovering it -were cumbersome and uncertain. The Cook, especially, was in flames to -start at once, and had he been our Commandant the next day would have -seen us galloping for the coast. For the Cook was a very thorough sort -of rascal and he saw no sense in bothering about regulations and the War -Office when a bit of hard riding would put him in a position of -affluence where he could bribe the whole of Turkey, if necessary. We -could get to the coast and back again, he urged, before the War Office -knew we had left Yozgad, so why bother the Spook to get Kiazim leave or -to get the mediums formally transferred? Let us go! - -Unfortunately the Spook had promised to make the Commandant safe with -his superiors at each step, and Kiazim, being a timid man, wanted to be -satisfied that no harm could come of it to himself before he moved. He -would have liked to have adopted the Cook’s suggestion, but the -Commandant feared some tell-tale in the Yozgad office might inform -headquarters of his departure. Once we were on the road together that -fear would cease to exist, but we must leave Yozgad openly and for a -sufficient cause. His medical leave, and our transfer, would be ample -excuse. - -Had Hill and I been at all uncertain of our ability to effect what -Kiazim desired, the Spook might have insisted on our adopting the Cook’s -suggestion. But so far as we could see, our plans were perfect. We had -only to hoodwink the Turkish doctors into recommending our transfer to -get everything that Kiazim required, and he would then come with us -joyously, of his own free will, instead of nervously and under orders. -As the Pimple pointed out to the impatient Cook, Kiazim could then -conduct us to the destination recommended by the doctors _via_ the -coast. - -Besides, there was Matthews. Apart from our friendship for him and our -anxiety to get a third man out of Turkey, his assistance would be -invaluable to us. Our plan to include him in our party was what the -Turks call the “cream of the coffee.” Hill and I had gone over it scores -of times, inventing, selecting, discarding, improving, until at last we -could see no flaw. It involved waiting for the Afion party to leave, but -we already intended to do that in order to get hold of the Commandant, -and we saw no danger in the delay. So we had sent word to Matthews that -all was going well and that he would get his “operation orders” in a day -or two. Meantime, while he busied himself with astronomical calculations -and invented a sun-compass (which was afterwards used, I believe, by -Cochrane and his party in their escape), we made our final preparations -for deceiving the Turkish doctors into ordering our transfer and reduced -our daily rations to five slices of dry toast in my case, and three -slices for Hill, who considered himself still obnoxiously fat. - -Then, with the sudden unexpectedness of thunder in a clear sky, the -crash came. - -The reader will remember that when replying to Colonel Maule’s -objections to our taking the places of two members of the Afion party, -the Spook had told Moïse to let it be known that although we would not -take anyone’s place, we would be _added_ to the party because the -Commandant was anxious to get rid of us. Moïse had obeyed the Spook, and -it was soon known in the camp that we were leaving Yozgad. We had not -imagined any possible harm could come of our friends knowing it. It -would have been perfectly easy to keep the camp in complete ignorance of -our movements until the day came to leave Yozgad. We paid dearly for our -mistake. - -One of the members of the Afion party was X. X was a close friend of -mine. When Hill and I were locked up by the Commandant, he put both his -possessions and his services entirely at our disposal, offered to send -word about us to England by means of his private cipher system, and was -as ready as any to incur risks on our behalf, Indeed, throughout our -imprisonment he had been a thorn in the flesh of the Pimple, for he let -no opportunity slip of pestering that unhappy individual with questions -about our welfare, and was constantly trying to discover the -Commandant’s intentions towards us. Such was his assiduity in what he -supposed were our interests that he had become something of a nuisance -to the Turks, and they several times complained about him, contrasting -his interference with the _laissez-faire_ attitude of the rest of the -camp. The Spook had seized the first opportunity to name X as the -“medium” through whom OOO was trying to discover our plans.[40] This had -explained X’s questions at the time to everybody’s amusement and -satisfaction, but it was to have most woeful consequences. - -Shortly after Moïse had made his intimation about us to the camp, Hill -and I were debating how soon our starvation would have reduced us enough -to face the doctors with security, and had just decided that another -three or four days should be sufficient, when the Pimple came in. - -“Once again,” he announced, “X has been at it. He says he does not want -to travel with you two in the same party.” - -“Why not?” we asked in genuine amazement. “What on earth is the matter -with him now?” - -“He says he thinks you will try to escape on the way from Yozgad to -Angora, and then he and the rest of the party will be strafed. So they -don’t want you with them.” - -Hill and I laughed. It was a difficult thing to do on the spur of the -moment, but we managed to laugh quite naturally. We pretended to find -much amusement in X’s ignorance of the real object of our journey. The -Pimple was almost equally amused. Then our conversation turned to other -matters. - -“I wonder if he was testing us?” Hill said when the Pimple had gone. - -“I don’t think so,” I replied. “He dropped the subject too quick. If it -had been a trap he would have shown more interest in it. X said it all -right, I expect. He is probably trying to frighten the Commandant out of -sending us away, to be ‘strafed,’ as he thinks! He’s had that bee in his -bonnet ever since the trial.” - -“I still think it is a trap,” Hill said. “Even if X had a whole hive in -his hat he wouldn’t say a fool thing like that!” - -“We’ll be on pretty thin ice if they ask the Spook about it,” I said. -“Are we to believe X said it, or not?” - -We were not left long in doubt. While we were talking, Matthews, Price, -and Doc. O’Farrell came in. They all looked unhappy, and after a few -generalities and beating about the bush they “broke the news” to us that -the Commandant had been “warned.” - -“The Pimple has just told us,” we said. - -The three looked their astonishment. - -“What’s to happen to you?” Matthews asked, with consternation in his -voice. - -“Nothing at all,” I said. “The Pimple knows X was playing the ass, and -is laughing at him for being so wide of the mark. We’ll carry on as -usual. The Spook business is still going strong, and we’ve got the plan -for your inclusion well worked out.” - -“You think no harm was done?” - -“None at all,” we said. - -We were wrong. For several days we “carried on” boldly with our plans, -but with each visit of the Pimple we became more and more certain that -there was something in the wind of which we were ignorant. We dared not -question, and could only wait. Then came an evening when the Pimple -burst in on us in high excitement. - -“The Commandant is a timid fool,” he said viciously. “He is troubled -about X. I tell him it is all right. But still he is troubled. _Mon -Dieu!_ He is no man, but a woman in the uniform of Bimbashi.” - -Hill and I laughed. - -“You mean he believes X, and thinks we _are_ going to try and escape?” - -“O no! No!” the Pimple said. “He is not so great a fool as that. He -knows you are too weak to go ten miles. For are you not starved? Are you -not lame? But he is troubled. He thinks this is a warning, not of what -_you_ intend to do, but of what our Spook or perhaps OOO intends to do -for you. He fears the Spook or OOO will make you disappear.” - -“But how could X know what the Spook——” - -“You see,” the Pimple interrupted, “X is the medium of OOO. He has been -the mouthpiece of OOO in asking many questions. Now he is the mouthpiece -of OOO in giving a warning. That is what the Commandant thinks. I tell -him no doubt X is the medium of OOO; no doubt this message is from OOO, -but the object of it is plain! It is evident! Have we not had experience -to tell us what it means? Is it not one last despairing effort by OOO to -frighten the Commandant, to stop him from sending the mediums to find -the treasure? But he will not listen to me. He is troubled, much -troubled. Even now he has gone to his witch, to ask her to read the -cards. He is a damn fool, and a coward! Why does he not trust the Spook? -Everything it has promised the Spook has done, and still he is afraid! -He will spoil everything!” - -“Let him!” I stretched my arms and yawned. “I for one won’t be sorry if -he stops now. We’ve learned the secret of the Four Point Receiver, and I -don’t see what more Hill and I are likely to get out of this. We get no -share in the treasure and you can take it from me it’s no joke living on -dry toast and tea. I don’t mind how soon he gives it up and sends us -back to the camp and decent food again.” - -“Nor I,” Hill chimed in. “The Commandant can take his treasure or leave -it, as he likes. I’ll be glad to end this starvation business. And if he -angers the Spook it will be his funeral, not ours! I’ll go back to camp -with pleasure.” - -The Pimple grabbed his cap and jumped to his feet. “What about my -share—my share and the Cook’s?” he cried. “Stay where you are! Don’t go -back to camp! I go to see him! It will be all right.” He rushed -excitedly from the house, to argue with his superior officer. - -His efforts and the Cook’s were of no avail. The Commandant was -thoroughly scared. The more he thought of what X had said the more -certain he became that it was an utterance from the world beyond, to -which it behoved him to pay heed. He distrusted us not at all, but he -was superlatively afraid of the unseen powers, and especially of OOO. -Once already OOO had temporarily gained the upper hand and nearly -murdered us by the explosion. Supposing next time he succeeded? What was -to prevent OOO from killing not only the two mediums, but the whole -batch of treasure-hunters? Our Spook could not be everywhere at once, as -had been proved, and though Kiazim vowed he trusted him, he could not -feel _quite_ certain that no more mistakes would be made. The -“opposition” was so very strong! - -At the same time, the man wanted his treasure. We gathered from the -Pimple, by means of very judicious pumping, that if the treasure could -be found without the Commandant involving himself in any way with the -War Office, or doing anything irregular, or being seen in our company, -then all would be well. But he would not willingly commit himself—he was -_“très poltron”_—and “the cards” had not been very favourable. - -The situation had its humorous side. With much toil Hill and I had built -up in the Turks a belief in the existence of a spirit-world peopled by -powerful personalities capable of interfering in mundane affairs and of -controlling the actions of us mortals. We had created a spirit who was -labouring for us, and to explain why so omnipotent a personality should -not at once achieve its aim we had been forced to invent an opposition -spirit in whom the Turks believed as fully as in our own Spook. These -two great forces were struggling for the strings which moved us human -marionettes. Until X came into the arena, all had gone well, and the -Turks had been content to remain automata and to obey blindly the pulls -at their strings. But now there was a split in our camp. Kiazim was -assailed with doubt as to the genuine intentions of our Spook, and, on -the other hand, with fears that OOO might eventually prove supreme. But -never for a single moment had he any doubts about the mediums. So it -came about that our chief jailer gravely pointed out to us the -possibility that we might be forced to escape by the unseen powers, -which would have dangerous consequences for himself. He knew we would -help him to prevent it, if we could, but alas! we were mere instruments -in the hands of the Unseen. We could give him no advice, except to trust -the Spook, which was precisely what he would not do. - -Outwardly Hill and I were like the mother turkey—“more than usual calm”; -we pretended not to care what happened. But between ourselves we raged -at X for his interference, and at our own carelessness in letting our -intended movements be known too early. It looked as if all our hard work -and our starvation had been in vain. Kiazim was ready, at the first hint -of danger, to give up the treasure-hunt altogether, and he had quite -made up his mind to take no active part in the matter for the future. He -would not, for instance, travel with us, or grant leave to Moïse or the -Cook, and we knew it would be hopeless to try the “lost-in-the-post” -letter. - -Hill and I felt that we had no choice but to give up, for the time -being, our kidnapping scheme. Perhaps our nerve was a little broken by -X’s unexpected intervention. A few more remarks of that nature, we felt, -might switch suspicion on to us. Suspicion might lead to unexpected -tests, and unexpected tests to discovery. What the result of that might -be we did not like to contemplate. - -We put Matthews’ “operation orders” in the fire next day, and told him -we dared not go on. He agreed, regretfully, that we were right. - - - - - CHAPTER XXI - - IN WHICH WE DECIDE TO BECOME MAD AND THE SPOOK GETS - US CERTIFICATES OF LUNACY - - -Our last hope was to go mad, and try for exchange. We came to the -decision reluctantly, after a discussion that went on far into the -night. Then a thing happened that went far to restore my ebbing human -nature. Hill got up from his chair, and after pacing the room a little -while, he stopped, facing me. - -“I will stand down, old chap,” he said. “If two of us go mad together it -will lessen the chances of each not by half, but a hundredfold, and one -man, on his own, has a poor enough chance against the Constantinople -specialists. So I will stand down, and good luck to you!” - -“We have agreed that the mad stunt is now our best—our only chance,” I -objected. - -“Yes,” he admitted. “But think of it—two fellows from the same camp -going mad at the same time. It is hopeless. I’d love to join you, but -I’m not going to spoil your chance. Your only hope is to go alone.” - -I like to think of the half hour that followed, and of the depths it -revealed in Hill’s friendship for me. We were at the gloomiest period of -the war—April 1918. The German successes lost nothing in the recounting -in Turkish newspapers. To every appearance our imprisonment might last -for years. Yet Hill tried hard to sacrifice his last faint hope of -liberty for my sake. In the end I reminded him that we had pledged -ourselves to stick together, and threatened that if he returned to camp -I would fulfil my part of the contract by going back with him. - -“Well, Bones,” he said. “I’ll come. I don’t know what special kind of -miseries the Turks keep for malingering lunatics, but I promise you that -without your permission they’ll never find out through me.” - -I made him the same promise. Three months later I was to regret it most -bitterly, for Hill then lay at death’s door in Gumush Suyu hospital, and -forbade me to say the few words of confession that would have got him -the humane treatment he required. - -Our Spook had a delicate task regaining its full authority over Kiazim. -It began by developing the Commandant’s own plan—a process to which he -could hardly object—and laying stress on its desire to keep Kiazim in -the background. It reminded us that in order to avoid OOO’s interference -it was better for us not to know what method would be ultimately -adopted. But there was no harm in preparing for a trip to Constantinople -to read the thoughts of AAA. And if we failed, which was unlikely, we -could try some other method when we returned to Yozgad. Meantime, Kiazim -need do nothing but tell the truth, in which there was never any harm. -It did not reprove Kiazim for lack of faith, or pretend to know anything -about his temporary secession, but went on quietly as if nothing had -occurred. - -The Commandant was perfectly ready to tell the truth, but wanted to know -to whom he was to tell it, and what he was to say! The Spook told him. -He was to call in the Turkish doctors and make them the following -statement, which he should learn by heart: - -“I am anxious about two of my prisoners, and I want your professional -advice that I may act on it. I have reason to believe they are mentally -affected, and that the English doctor is endeavouring to conceal the -fact.[41] A certain number of the prisoners, amongst whom Jones and Hill -were prominent, have been studying occultism ever since they arrived. -They admittedly practise telepathy, and were arrested for communication -with people outside on military matters. For direct evidence as to their -conduct during their confinement I refer you to my Interpreter (Moïse) -and my orderly (the Cook) who have seen a good deal of them. If they -have become mentally unhinged I fear they may do something desperate, -and would like you to send them to Constantinople where they can be -properly looked after, or do whatever you think is best for them.” - -The Commandant would then produce the Cook. His story to the doctors was -to be as follows: - -“By the Commandant’s orders I attended Hill and Jones in their -imprisonment, as they were not allowed to communicate with other -prisoners. I took them their food (from Posh Castle). At first I noticed -nothing peculiar. After a few days, in brushing out their room, I began -to find bits of meat hidden away in the corners. I used to give these to -my chickens. I do not know why the meat was thus thrown away because the -prisoners cannot talk Turkish. I also found charred remains of bread and -other food in the stove. A few days ago the prisoners forbade me to -sweep out their room. I do not know why. They usually look depressed and -silent. That is all I know.” - -Then the Pimple: - -“I know both Jones and Hill well. When they first arrived they were both -smart and soldierlike. They have gradually become more and more untidy -and slovenly. For over a year they have been studying occultism, and I -know they achieved some extraordinary results, e.g., they got the first -news that came to Yozgad of the taking of Baghdad. There were many other -things. At one time spirit-communiqués were published in the camp. All -the other prisoners knew of it and many believed in it. The first -peculiarity I noticed was that occasionally one or the other of them -would write an extraordinary letter, abusing certain officers and the -camp in general. I thought at the time these letters were due to drink, -and tore them up. This was many months ago. I remonstrated with them for -using such language about their fellow-officers.[42] I do not know when -they began what they call ‘telepathy,’ but I used to come upon them -studying together. I was present at their public exhibition (description -follows). Nobody has ever given me a satisfactory explanation of their -powers. - -“When Hill and Jones were imprisoned on March 7th it was my duty to -visit them every day and try to elicit the name of their correspondent, -which the Commandant wanted. Sometimes they were rude to me, sometimes -polite, sometimes sullen. At first they got food sent in from Major -Baylay’s mess (Posh Castle). I now remember that soon after they were -locked up they began to ask me if Major Baylay was abusing them. About -20th March or a little before they began to beg to be allowed to cook -their own food, or for the Turks to cook it. When I asked why, they -first said they did not want to cause trouble in the camp. I saw Major -Baylay and Price, of the Posh Castle mess, who said it was no trouble, -and they would continue sending food. When I told this to Hill and Jones -they got excited, insisted that they _must not_ give trouble, and -finally told me in confidence that Major Baylay was putting poison in -the meat, and that they were afraid he would poison the other food too. -I thought they were joking about the poison, and that the real reason -was they did not wish to give trouble, but I arranged for them to cook -their own food. I now understand that they did not intend it as a -joke—their belief explains why they hid the meat which the Cook found. - -“On the 1st of April the order came from Constantinople to release them. -When I told them of this they were very frightened. They asked me to -keep the door locked, and said this order did not really come from -Constantinople, but was an arrangement between Major Baylay and the -postmaster who had been paid ten liras to forge a telegram. They said -the real object of the telegram was to stop them writing to the British -War Office about Baylay (it forbade them write any letters), and to get -them outside so that they could be murdered. This alarmed me, as they -were obviously serious. I fetched in the English camp doctor, but did -not tell him my suspicions about their sanity. I was present during the -doctor’s examination, and noticed the two prisoners were reticent and -said nothing about Baylay. The doctor seemed puzzled. He paid several -visits and was vague when I questioned him. He mentioned neurasthenia, -but when I asked if that meant nervous trouble he shut up and did not -answer. He was obviously alarmed about them. To please them and give the -doctor a chance, the door was kept locked for several days, in spite of -the War Office order to liberate them. Then I _had_ to inform the camp -that they were free, Hill and Jones were terrified and begged me not to -allow any English officers to visit them. - -“When visitors came Hill and Jones got very excited. They were rude to -many of their friends. They complained to me that these officers had -been sent by Major Baylay and Colonel Maule to murder them. They -complained that one officer—Captain Colbeck—had asked them to come out, -with the object of killing them, and when they refused to go had -threatened to take them by force.[43] I found out that the truth was -their visitor was alarmed by their altered appearance, and thought it -would do them good to have tea in Baylay’s garden. Hill and Jones -thought they were being enticed out to be killed. They also complained -to me that Baylay had visited them,[44] and had scattered poison about -the room, and had poisoned some bread, which they had to burn in -consequence. When asked why they would not allow the Cook to sweep the -room they said if he did so it would liberate the poison which Baylay -had put in the dust. They next began to distrust the English doctor and -to think he was an emissary of Baylay’s. They pretended to take his -medicine, but confided to me that they dared not do so, and showed me a -bottle of Dover Powder which the doctor had given them, pointing out -that it was labelled ‘POISON.’” (O’Farrell had provided us with -medicines for his “neurasthenia” diagnosis, but had instructed us not to -take them.) - -“When Constantinople, in their telegram of April 1st, prohibited Hill -and Jones from writing to England, they began to write extraordinary -letters to high Turkish officials and also to the Sultan. This alarmed -me. I could get no satisfaction from the English doctor. I therefore -asked you gentlemen to tell me the early symptoms of madness”—(This was -true enough. Moïse had done so, acting under instructions from the -Spook)—“and learned enough to make me fairly certain that the English -doctor was concealing the truth. With the Commandant’s consent I then -questioned the English doctor.” (This interview was also ordered by the -Spook, O’Farrell having been previously warned by us.) “He was again -vague, said the two men could be treated and looked after here, and -appeared to be afraid of a Turkish asylum. I reported what O’Farrell had -said to the Commandant, and he decided he must have proper medical -advice, as they are gradually getting more violent.” - -Moïse was then to produce the letters we had written to the “high -Turkish officials.” The Spook told us these letters were written by -himself. We pretended, at the time of writing them, that we were “under -control” and quite unconscious of what we were writing. Moïse and the -Commandant, of course, quite believed this. - -I give below two specimens of the many letters we wrote. In my letters -the handwriting was very scrawly and hurried, there were frequent -repetitions, and occasionally words were left out. The first is to the -Sultan, the second to Enver Pasha. Hill was supposed to be forced to -write by me. - -“To the Light of the World, the Ruler of the Universe, and Protector of -the Poor, the Sword & Breastplate of the True Faith, his most gracious -Majesty Abdul Hamid the of Turkey, Greeting: This is the humble petition -of two of your Majesty’s prisoners of War now at Yozgad in Anatolia. We -humbly ask your most gracious protection. We remain here in danger of -our lives owing to the plots of the camp against us. They are all in -league against us. Baylay is determined to poison us. He tried to drag -us into the garden to murder us. He is in league with all the camp -against us. We cannot eat the food they send because he puts poison in -it. Colonel Maule has said to the Commandant he is going to get rid of -us. Also the doctor who was our friend until Baylay persuaded him to -give us poison instead of medicine. Please protect us. The Commandant is -our friend. When Baylay tried to he said no and put us in a nice house -please give him a high decoration for his kindness we cannot go out -because Baylay will kill us and all the camp hate us who shall in duty -bound ever pray for your gracious Majesty. - - “E.H. JONES. C.W. HILL.” - -“DEAR MR. ENVER PASHA, - - “I don’t suppose your Excellency will know who I am, but Jones says -he knows you. He met you in Mosul. Will you help us? The other prisoners -want to kill us. The ringleader is Major Baylay. He gave a letter to the -Turks and said we wrote it. He thought the Commandant would hang us. But -the Commandant was very kind to us and gave us a house to ourselves and -locked the door so that Baylay could not get at us. We were very happy -until Baylay started poisoning our food. Then we the Commandant said we -could cook our own food and now he leaves the door open and we are in -terror lest Major Baylay comes and kills us he did come one day and -tried to entice us into the garden and he now sends the doctor to give -us poison the doctor pretends it is medicine but we know better. Will -you please write to the Commandant and ask him to lock the door. - - “Your obedient servants, - - “C.W. HILL. E.H. JONES.” - -Such was the case that was laid before the two official Turkish doctors -in Yozgad, Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri, by the principal -officials of the prisoners’ camp on the morning of April 13th, 1918. We -knew nothing of the medical attainments of Major Osman or Captain Suhbi -Fahri, but we calculated that if the officers in charge of a camp of -German prisoners in England made similar statements about two prisoners -to the local English doctors, and told them (as the Turks were told) -that the German doctor in the camp was trying to conceal the true state -of affairs with a view to keeping the two men from the horrors of an -English asylum, it ought to create an atmosphere most favourable to -malingerers. In Yozgad we had the additional advantage that the Turkish -doctors were very jealous of O’Farrell, whose medical skill had created -a great impression amongst the local officials, and were only too -delighted at a chance of proving him wrong. But the outstanding merit of -the scheme was that it avoided implicating O’Farrell. We would face the -Constantinople specialists purely on the recommendation of the Turks, -and O’Farrell’s disagreement with the local doctors would make him -perfectly safe if we were found out. Also O’Farrell’s whole attitude -towards us, his fellow-prisoners, would help us to deceive the -specialists, because it would be a strong argument against the theory -that we were malingering, for it would be natural to suppose that the -English doctor would seek to help rather than hinder us to leave Yozgad. -The Turks are not sufficiently conversant with Poker to recognize a -bluff of the second degree. - -The Spook had promised the Commandant to place us under control and make -us seem mad when the doctors visited us. It succeeded to perfection, for -we had left no stone unturned to deceive the Turks. - -We were unshaven, unwashed, and looked utterly disreputable. For over -three weeks we had been living on a very short ration of dry bread and -tea. For the last three days we had eaten next to nothing, and by the -13th April we were literally starving. We sat up all night on the 12th, -that our eyes might be dull when the doctors came, and we took heavy -doses of phenacetin at frequent intervals, to slow down our pulses. All -night we kept the windows and doors shut, and the stove red-hot and -roaring, and smoked hard, so that by morning the atmosphere was -indescribable. We scattered filth about the room, which had already -remained a week unswept, and strewed it with slop-pails, empty tins, -torn paper, and clothing. Near the door we upset a bucket of dirty -water; in the centre of the floor was a heap of soiled linen, and close -beside it what looked like the remains of a morning meal. Over all we -sprinkled a precious bottle of Elliman’s Embrocation, adding a new odour -to the awful atmosphere. An hour before the doctors were due, Hill began -smoking strong plug tobacco, which always makes him sick. The Turks, -being Turks, were ninety minutes late. Hill kept puffing valiantly at -his pipe, and by the time they arrived he had the horrible, -greeny-yellow hue that is known to those who go down to the sea in -ships. - -It was a lovely spring morning outside. The snow had gone. The -countryside, fresh from the rains, was bathed in sunlight, and a fine -fresh breeze was blowing. We heard Moïse and the doctors coming up our -stairs, laughing and chatting together. Captain Suhbi Fahri, still -talking, opened the door of our room—and stopped in the middle of a -sentence. It takes a pretty vile atmosphere to astonish a Turk, but the -specimen of “fug” we had so laboriously prepared took his breath away. -The two doctors stood at the door and talked in whispers to Moïse. - -Hill, with a British warm up to his ears and a balaclava on his tousled -head, sat huddled motionless over the red-hot stove, warming his hands. -On the other side of the stove I wrote furiously, dashing off sheet -after sheet of manuscript and hurling them on to the floor. - -Their examination of us was a farce. If their minds were not already -made up before they entered, the state of our room and our appearance -completely satisfied them. Major Osman never left the door. Captain -Suhbi Fahri tiptoed silently round the room, peering into our -scientist-trapping slop-pails and cag-heaps, until he got behind my -chair, when I whirled round on him in a frightened fury, and he -retreated suddenly to the door again. Neither of them sought to -investigate our reflexes—the test we feared most of all—but they -contented themselves with a few questions which were put through Moïse -in whispers, and translated to us by him. - -They began with me. - -MAJOR OSMAN. “What are you writing?” - -SELF (nervously). “It is not finished yet.” The question was repeated -several times; each time I answered in the same words, and immediately -began writing again. - -MAJOR OSMAN. “What is it?” - -SELF. “A plan.” (Back to my writing. More whispering between the doctors -at the door.) - -MAJOR OSMAN. “What plan?” - -SELF. “A scheme.” - -MAJOR OSMAN. “What scheme?” - -SELF. “A scheme to divide up England at the end of the war. A scheme for -the abolition of England! Go away! You are bothering me.” - -(More whispering at the door.) - -MAJOR OSMAN. “Why do you want to do that?” - -SELF. “Because the English hate us.” - -MAJOR OSMAN. “Your father is English. Does he hate you?” - -SELF. “Yes. He has not written to me for a long time. He puts poison in -my parcels. He is in league with Major Baylay. It is all Major Baylay’s -doing.” - -[Illustration: - - _Photo by Savony_ - “THE MELANCHOLIC”—C.W. HILL] - -I grew more and more excited, and burst into a torrent of talk about my -good friend Baylay’s “enmity,” waving my arms and raving furiously. The -two doctors looked on aghast, and I noticed Captain Suhbi Fahri changed -his grip on his silver-headed cane to the thin end. It took them quite a -time to quieten me down again. At last I gathered up my scattered -manuscript and resumed my writing. Hill had never moved or paid the -slightest attention to the pandemonium. They turned to him. - -MAJOR OSMAN. “Why are you keeping the room so hot? It is a warm day.” - -(Moïse had to call Hill by name and repeat the question several times -before Hill appeared to realize that he was being addressed. Then he -raised a starving, grey-green, woebegone face to his questioners.) - -“Cold,” he said, and huddled an inch nearer the stove. - -“Why don’t you go out?” asked Major Osman. - -“Baylay,” said Hill, without lifting his head. - -“Why don’t you sweep the floor?” - -“Poison in dust.” - -“Why is there poison in the dust?” - -“Baylay,” said the monotonous voice again. - -“Is there anything you want?” Major Osman asked. - -Hill lifted his head once more. - -“Please tell the Commandant to lock the door and you go away,” then he -turned his back on his questioners. - -The two doctors, followed by Moïse, tiptoed down the stairs. We heard -the outer gate clang, listened carefully to make sure they had gone, and -then let loose the laughter we had bottled up so long. For both the -Turkish doctors had clearly been scared out of their wits by us. - -Moïse came back later with our certificates of lunacy. They were -imposing documents, written in a beautiful hand, and each decorated with -two enormous seals. The following is a translation as it was written out -by the Pimple at our request:— - -“_HILL._ This officer is in a very calm condition, thinking. His face is -long, not very fat. Breath heavy. He has been seen very thinking. He -gave very short answers. There is no (? life) in his answers. There is a -nervousness in his present condition. He states that his life is in -danger and he wants the door to be locked because a Major is going to -kill him. By his answers and by the fact he is not taking any food, it -seems that he is suffering from melancholia. We beg to report that it is -necessary he be sent to Constantinople for treatment and observation and -a final examination by a specialist.” - -“_JONES._ This officer appears to be a furious. Weak constitution. His -hands were shaking and was busy writing when we went to see him. When -asked what he was writing he answered that it was a plan for the -abolition of England because the English were his enemies; even his -father was on their part because he was not sending letters. His life is -in danger. A Major wants to kill him and has put poison in his meat. -That is why he is not eating. He requested nobody may be allowed to come -and the door may be locked. According to the statement of the orderly -and other officers this officer has been over-studying spiritualism. He -says that the doctor was giving him poison instead of medicine. -According to his answers and his present condition he seems to suffer -from a derangement in his brains. We beg to report that it is necessary -to send him to Constantinople for observation and treatment.” - -Both reports were signed and sealed by - -“Major Osman, Bacteriologist in charge of Infectious Diseases at -Yozgad.” - -“Captain Suhbi Fahri, District Doctor in charge of Infectious Diseases -at Yozgad.” - - -“Your control,” said Moïse to us, “was wonderful—marvellous. Your very -expressions had altered. The doctors said your looks were ‘very bad, -treacherous, _haine_.’ You, Jones, have a fixed delusion—(_idée -fixée_)—and Hill has melancholia, they say. They have ordered that a -sentry be posted to prevent your committing suicide and that you and -your room be thoroughly cleaned, by force if necessary. Do you remember -the doctors’ visit?” - -[Illustration: - - _Photo by Annan_ - “THE FURIOUS.”—E.H. JONES] - -Our memories, we said, were utterly blank, and we got the Pimple to -relate what had occurred. - -“It was truly a glorious exhibition of the power of our Spook,” the -Pimple ended, “and the Commandant is greatly pleased. I trust you suffer -no ill-effects?” - -We were only very tired, and very anxious that the doctors’ suggestions -as to cleaning up should be carried out. Sentries were called in. Our -bedding and possessions were moved to a clean room, and we were led out -into the yard and made to bathe in the horse-trough. Then we slept the -sleep of the successful conspirator till evening. - - - - - CHAPTER XXII - - HOW THE SPOOK CORRESPONDED WITH THE TURKISH WAR - OFFICE AND GOT A REPLY - - -I woke at sunset to find Doc. O’Farrell bending over me. “Doctors been -here?” he asked in a hoarse whisper. - -I nodded. - -“And what’s the result?” - -“Did you see the sentry at the door?” I asked. - -“Don’t tell me you’re found out,” Doc. moaned, “or I’ll never forgive -myself.” - -“All right, Doc. dear! The sentry’s there to prevent us committing -suicide!” - -Doc. stared a moment, and then doubled up with laughter that had to be -silent because of the Turk outside. - -“Like to see the medical reports?” I asked, handing him the Pimple’s -translation. - -He began to read. At the first sentence he burst into a loud guffaw, and -thrust the reports hastily out of sight. Luckily the gamekeeper at the -door paid no attention. The Doc. apologized for his indiscretion and -managed to read the rest in silence. - -“Think we’ve a chance?” Hill asked, as he finished. - -“Ye’re a pair of unmitigated blackguards,” said the Doc., “an’ I’m sorry -for the leech that’s up against you. There’s only one thing needed to -beat the best specialist in Berlin or anywhere else, but as you both aim -at getting to England you can’t do it.” - -“What is that?” we asked. - -“One of ye commit suicide!” said the Doc., laughing. - -“By Jove! That’s a good idea!” I cried. “We’ll _both_ try it.” - -“Don’t be a fool!” he began sharply, then—seeing the merriment in our -eyes—“Oh! be natural! Be natural an’ you’ll bamboozle Æsculapius -himself.” He dodged the pillow Hill threw at him and clattered down the -stairs chuckling to himself. - -Within five minutes of his going we decided to hang ourselves—“within -limits”—on the way to Constantinople. - -A little later the Pimple arrived, with the compliments and thanks of -the Commandant to the Spook, and would the Spook be so kind as to -dictate a telegram about us to the War Office? The Spook was most -obliging, and somewhere amongst the Turkish archives at Constantinople -the following telegram reposes: - -“For over a year two officer prisoners here have spent much time in -study of spiritualism and telepathy, and have shown increasing signs of -mental derangement which recently have become very noticeable. I -therefore summoned our military doctors Major Osman and Captain Suhbi -Fahri who after examination diagnosed melancholia in the case of Hill -and fixed delusion in the case of Jones and advised their despatch to -Constantinople for observation and treatment. Doctors warn me these two -officers may commit suicide or violence. I respectfully request I may be -allowed to send them as soon as possible. Transport will be available in -a few days when prisoners from Changri arrive. If permitted I shall send -them with necessary escort under charge of my Interpreter who can watch -and look after them en route and give any further information required -by the specialists. Until his return may I have the services of the -Changri Interpreter? My report together with the report of the doctors, -follows by post. Submitted for favour of urgent orders.” - -This spook-telegram was sent by the Commandant on 14th April, 1918, at 5 -p.m. The same night the Spook dictated a report on our case, of a -character so useful to the Constantinople specialists that Kiazim was -thanked for it by his superiors at headquarters. The spook-report (which -should also be among the Constantinople archives) is as follows: - -“In reference to my wire of 14th April I beg to report as follows: As -will be seen from the enclosed medical reports written by Major Osman -and Captain Suhbi Fahri, the Military Medical Officers of Yozgad, there -are two officers in this camp who are suffering from grave mental -disease. The doctors recommend their despatch to Constantinople for -observation and treatment, and I beg to urge that this be done as early -as possible, as the doctors warn me they may commit suicide or violence, -and I am anxious to avoid any such trouble in this camp. - -“In addition to the information contained in the medical reports I beg -to submit the following facts for guidance and consideration. The two -officers are Lieut. Hill and Lieut. Jones. The former came here with the -prisoners from Katia. The latter from Kut-el-Amara. I have made -enquiries about both. I find Lieut. Hill has always been a remarkably -silent and solitary man. He has the reputation of never speaking unless -spoken to, and then only answers in monosyllables. During his stay here -he has been growing more and more morose and gloomy. Lieut. Jones is -regarded by his fellow-prisoners as eccentric and peculiar. I myself -have noticed an increasing slovenliness in his dress since he came here. -I learn that he has done a number of little things which caused his -comrades to regard him as peculiar. For instance, sixteen months ago he -spent a week sliding down the stairs in his house and calling himself -the ‘Toboggan King.’ On another occasion when receiving a parcel from -England in this office he expressed disgust at the ‘rubbish’ which was -sent him, and drawing out a pocket-knife he slashed into ribbons a -valuable waterproof sheet which had been included in his parcel. This -was about a year ago.[45] Such appears to be the reputation of these two -officers in the camp. - -“About eighteen months ago a number of officers began to take up -spiritualism. Among these Jones was prominent. He asserted he was in -communication with the dead and for some time he even published the news -he thus obtained. I do not know when Hill began, but he also was a keen -spiritualist. They have both spent a great deal of their time in this -pursuit. Whether or not this has anything to do with their present -condition I cannot say. Many other officers did the same and I saw no -reason to interfere as I considered it a legitimate amusement. - -“These two officers also appear to have studied what they call -‘telepathy,’ and about two or three months ago they gave an exhibition -of thought-reading, part of which my Interpreter saw and which -considerably surprised their fellow-officers. Later Hill and Jones -asserted they were in communication (telepathic) with people in Europe -and elsewhere as well as with the dead. Early in March, as I reported to -you in my letter of the 18th March, Jones and Hill were found guilty on -a charge of attempting to communicate with some person in Yozgad whose -name they refused to give, and as I reported, I confined them in a -separate house and forbade any intercourse with the rest of the camp. I -allowed them to have their food sent in from Major Baylay’s house, which -is near. - -“While in confinement these two officers appear to have got the idea -that their comrades in the camp disliked them, and this idea developed -into delusion and terror that they were going to be murdered. Their -condition became so grave that I called in the two medical officers, who -had no hesitation, after examining them, in recommending their despatch -to Constantinople. - -“Meantime, until their departure, by the advice of Major Osman and -Captain Suhbi Fahri, I have posted a special guard over the patients to -prevent them from doing themselves or others any harm. - -“With regard to the journey, as reported in my telegram I beg leave to -send them under charge of my Interpreter with a sufficient escort, as -the sufferers are accustomed to him and he will be able to understand -their wants, and especially because knowing all they have done he may be -of assistance to the specialists in their enquiry. Until his return I -would like the services of the Changri Interpreter, but if necessary, -for a short time, I could communicate any orders that may be necessary -direct as several British officers here know a little Turkish.” - -The report was posted on the 15th April. On the 16th the Commandant -received from Constantinople the following telegram in answer to the -Spook’s wire: - -“Number 887. 15th April. Urgent. Very important. Answer to your cipher -wire No. 77. Under your proposed arrangement send to the Hospital of -Haidar Pasha the two English Officers who have to be under observation. -Communicate with the Commandant Changri.—KEMAL.” - -“Hurrah!” said Moïse, when he brought us the news, “the Spook has -controlled Constantinople!” - - - - - CHAPTER XXIII - - IN WHICH THE SPOOK PERSUADES MOÏSE TO VOLUNTEER FOR - ACTIVE SERVICE - - -The telegram from Kemal Pasha, ordering us to be sent to Constantinople, -arrived on the 16th April. The prisoners from Changri, bringing with -them the Interpreter who was to take the place of the Pimple, reached -Yozgad on the 24th. Hill and I left for Angora on the 26th. - -The Spook explained that though we would probably read AAA’s thoughts -and discover the position of the third clue as soon as we got to -Constantinople, it was essential for our safety that the Constantinople -specialists should, for a time, think us slightly deranged and in need -of a course of treatment. Therefore it behoved Moïse to endeavour to -bring this about by reporting to the Constantinople authorities the -things which the Spook would tell him to report, and learning his lesson -carefully. - -“What will happen to the mediums,” the Pimple asked, “if the specialists -do not think them slightly deranged?” - -“Jail, _mon petit cheri chou_!” said the Spook. “Jail for malingering, -and they will not return to Yozgad to continue our experiments. You must -play your part.” - -The Pimple’s part, the Spook explained, was to observe and note -carefully everything the mediums said and did. At the request of the -Spook, as soon as the Yozgad doctors had declared us mad, the Commandant -publicly ordered Moïse to make notes of our behaviour, for the benefit -of the doctors at the Haidar Pasha hospital. The Spook declared that -from now on the mediums would be kept “under control” so as to appear -mad, for control being a species of hypnotism the oftener we were placed -in that condition the easier it would be for the Spook to impose its -will on us in Constantinople to deceive the specialists. Thus, while the -Turks thought the Spook was practising on us, making us appear mad, we -were really practising our madness on the Turks. Doc. O’Farrell visited -us every day. The Turks thought he too was “under control” and that he -was puzzled by our symptoms. In point of fact he was coaching us very -carefully in what things were fit and proper for a “melancholic” and “a -furious” to do and say, for we had decided to adhere to the two distinct -types of madness diagnosed by the Yozgad doctors. What he secretly -taught us each morning, the Spook made us do “under control” each -evening, when it was duly noted down by the Pimple. These notes were -revised and corrected by the Spook at regular intervals. In this way we -piled up a goodly store of evidence as to our insanity. - -Every evening, after the rest of the camp had been locked up, we held -séances, and at every séance the poor Pimple was put through his lesson. -Over and over again he was made to recite to the spook-board what he had -to say to the Constantinople doctors. It made a strange picture: Moïse, -leaning over the piece of tin that was his Delphic oracle, told his tale -as he would tell it at Haidar Pasha. His face used to be lined with -anxiety lest he should go wrong and incur the wrath of the Unknown. Hill -and I, pale and thin with starvation, and the strain of our long -deception, sat motionless (and, as Moïse thought, unconscious), with our -fingers resting on the glass and every sense strained to detect the -slightest error in the Pimple’s story or in his tone or manner of -telling it. And when the mistakes came (as to begin with they did with -some frequency), the glass would bang out the Spook’s wrath with every -sign of anger and there would follow the trembling apologies and -stammered emendations of the unhappy Interpreter. Hill and I had got -beyond the stage of wanting to laugh, for we were working now at our -last hope. It was absolutely essential that the Pimple’s story should be -without flaw. - -In order to minimize the chance of error, the Spook expounded to the -Pimple every bit of medical lore which Doc. O’Farrell had imparted to -us, for he was less likely to go wrong if he knew what the doctors were -driving at in their questions. Indeed, there were only three points on -which we kept him in ignorance. These were (i) that there was no Spook -and we were not “under control” but acting; (ii) that O’Farrell was -helping us, and (iii) that our object was “exchange” and not “treasure.” -The Spook warned him that it would be much harder to hoodwink the -Constantinople doctors than it had been to deceive the local men. - -“_Entre nous_,” it said, “O’Farrell and the doctors here know nothing -about mental diseases. To deceive Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri I -made the mediums behave in the way an ignorant man thinks lunatics -behave. But when we are up against the Constantinople doctors, and -especially the Germans, it will be a different business. You will be -surprised, _mon vieux_. My method will be to make the mediums appear -quite sane to the lay eye, but they will have little lapses and little -mannerisms which the specialists will note.” The Spook “controlled” us -in turn to show Moïse what he meant by “mannerisms.” It first made Hill -sit with a vacant stare of his face, twiddling his thumbs and pleating -and unpleating the edge of his coat. Then it threw me into a trance -where I picked imaginary threads and hairs off my own clothes or the -clothes of the person I happened to be talking to, and twisted a button -ceaselessly between finger and thumb. - -“All that,” the Spook explained to Moïse, “appears quite sane to you. -You will not recognize in it a sign of madness, nor should you put it -down in your notes, but a doctor who knows his job will remark it at -once. If he asks you, ‘Have you noticed that before?’ be sure to say, -‘Oh yes, he is _always_ doing that!’ in a tone as if you did not know -what was behind the question, or that such action had any significance.” - -Again, as to the Pimple’s _manner_ of telling his story, the Spook was -very emphatic. “I want you to tell your story in such a way that you -will appear not to know what is important. You might begin by saying you -do not know what the doctors want to know about. Let _them_ question -you, as far as possible. Don’t recite it like a set piece, but get them -interested. Speak so as to entice questions. Now, one word of -explanation and warning: you will find that the mediums will deny a -great many things you say they have done. That will be understood by the -doctors as a madman’s cunning, and at the same time it will prove that -you and the Commandant are not in league with the mediums. So do not be -alarmed by their denials.” - -One thing worried Moïse greatly, and at length he ventured to ask the -board, “Won’t they think it funny that two officers go mad at the same -time?” - -“Yes,” said the Spook, “they will. If you say they ‘went mad at the same -time’ it will spoil everything. I have never said they went mad at the -same time.” - -“That is true, Sir,” Moïse agreed, “but what am I to think?” - -“They were _discovered_ to be mad at the same time by the Yozgad -doctors, but the important point is that for the last two years they -have been gradually going mad quite _separately_ and _independently_. It -was the fact of their being regarded as peculiar by the other officers -that threw them together, combined with their common interest in -spiritualism and telepathy. What you should say is that, looking back in -the light of what you have since learned from the doctors, it is your -belief that the mediums have _always_ been mad ever since you knew them, -and you cannot account for their peculiarities in any other way. -Recently their madness became more pronounced, which caused the -Commandant to call in medical advice. This is why their _past history_ -is so important. Do you see?” - -“Yes, Sir,” said Moïse meekly. - -When at last by dint of ceaseless tuition Moïse had thoroughly grasped -the situation, and the nature of the story he was to tell, the Spook -held an examination and asked every conceivable question we and -O’Farrell thought the Constantinople doctors might set. Moïse passed the -test with great credit; and we felt we were ready for the road. - -In addition to teaching the Pimple, the Spook had a good deal of -“cleaning up” to do. We wanted to leave our comrades as comfortably off -as possible. Many officers had been complaining of the non-arrival of -remittances from England, and we suspected that a good deal of the -missing money had stuck to the palms of the Commandant on the way -between Post Office and camp. By sheer good luck the Commandant asked -the Spook whom he should send to the Post Office for the money whilst -Moïse had gone. He complained that he could not trust any of the other -officials to bring it to him. The Spook advised him to send a British -officer from the camp, along with any one of the Turkish officials. -Whether or not this was done after our departure we do not know. - -The camp was crowded, and would be still more crowded when the Changri -men arrived. We had long since decided to get more house-room for our -comrades. Across the road were two small houses which we had planned to -add to the camp. The fact that one of them was inhabited by the witch -who read the cards for Kiazim in hours of stress merely made us -additionally keen. For we objected to rivals. The Spook, therefore, -turned her out of the house just before the Changri people arrived, and -Hill and I went into it. The second house was already empty. The -Commandant agreed to hand over these two houses to the camp after we -were gone, but Colonel Maule, being ignorant of our plans, nearly -spoiled everything by arranging for the disposal of the Changri -prisoners in the accommodation already at his command. Kiazim at once -converted the second house into a guard-room for the sentries, and it -took a good deal of diplomacy to make him promise to hand over the one -we were in to our fellow-prisoners. However, we managed it. - -We felt something ought to be done to Kiazim as a punishment for his -cowardice over the affair of X. The Spook therefore informed him that -the time had come for him to go “on diet,” and although we did not -reduce his food to our own starvation rations, we gave him a pretty thin -time. Whether on account of this, or for some other reason, Kiazim had a -recurrence of his biliary colic. He asked the Spook for a remedy—indeed, -he suspected the Spook of bringing on the attack! In reply the Spook -offered to call up the shade of Lord Lister for a consultation. The -Commandant was so delighted with Lister’s advice, that we felt much -tempted to make the Spook demand a hundred guinea fee. - -The Commandant’s wife had been boasting round Yozgad of a coming access -of wealth, and this in spite of a previous warning by the Spook. Kiazim -was therefore made to give her a thoroughly good scolding, and forbidden -to speak to her for a fortnight. - -Then there was the Cook. Orders had come from Constantinople to -demobilize men of 50 years and over. The Cook fell within that class, -but the Commandant was unwilling to “demob.” him without the permission -of the Spook. After some delay, the Spook graciously granted permission -to Kiazim to free the Cook from all military duties, but insisted that -he should continue to attend to the domestic wants of the mediums. For -this both the Cook and the Commandant thanked the Spook, while Hill and -I listened with grave faces. - -A matter which rankled a little was that the Commandant was still in -possession of the two Turkish gold liras, which we had dug up with the -clues. The Spook accordingly ordered a hacksaw and a small vice. These -were borrowed by the Turks from a goldsmith in the town. The Spook then -made Hill cut each coin into three equal parts, and gave Hill and myself -the parts of the coins bearing the dates, while the Cook and Pimple each -got a section, and the remaining two portions went to the Commandant, -one for himself and one for his wife. “These portions,” said the Spook, -“bind you all together in my brotherhood, to be faithful and true to my -behests. That is one function. The other function is to deceive AAA; for -these are the exact duplicates of the original tokens. You must wear -these tokens as the originals were worn—round your necks. I prefer not -to explain yet how they will be used to deceive AAA, because that is -still a long way off, but you must always wear the tokens to be ready.” - -The Turks readily obeyed, and so far as I know they are still wearing -their tokens. They did not realize our object. It was to render -comparatively useless the only thing of value the Spook had -“discovered,” and at the same time to provide us with an additional -proof of Kiazim’s confederacy with us. Should the occasion arise for us -to denounce him it would cause him some trouble to explain how we all -came to be wearing portions of the same coin if we were not in some sort -of league together. - -The Pimple was justly unpopular with the camp. Everybody knew he took -toll of our parcels before they were delivered to us, and in addition to -his thieving he had an objectionable habit of coming round the -recipients of parcels after delivery, and begging here some tea and -there some chocolate, and so on. It was unwise to refuse, because if you -did he would see to it that the next package of books that arrived would -be sent back to Constantinople for re-censoring, and books were very -precious to us prisoners. Had he chosen he could have done much to -render our imprisonment less irksome, but he knew he was top dog for the -time being, and took advantage of his position. - -The Spook therefore set about permanently ridding the camp of their pet -aversion, and it did so by fanning the flame of ambition that was -consuming the poor fool. “You are wasting time in Yozgad,” it said; -“nothing comes to him who does not ask. You are clever! Strike out for -your betterment. Throw modesty to the winds.” (Heaven knows he had -little to spare!) “You are a good lad. Make other people realize it. Do -not stagnate in Yozgad while great careers are being made elsewhere. Why -don’t you try to get to the heart of things?” (Moïse pleaded the cost of -living at Constantinople, and the Spook went on): “A crust of bread -where there are big men to watch you earn it is better than rich meats -in a wilderness. I am taking you to Constantinople. I have arranged for -a man in your place here. Mind you stay there.” - -Moïse thanked the Spook warmly for its advice and begged for -instructions as to how he could stay at the capital. He was ordered on -arrival at Constantinople to go to the War Office, say he knew Turkey -was being hard pressed by its enemies and demand to be sent to the -fighting line. This, the Spook assured him, would obtain him his -commission. The unhappy Pimple was horror-struck at the idea of having -to fight, but the Spook promised that he would be quite safe, and as -soon as he got to Constantinople the little ass did as we desired. The -Turkish War Office was so astonished at obtaining a volunteer at this -stage in the war that they gave him a commission straight off, granted -him a month’s leave to wind up his affairs and then clapped him into the -officers’ training school, where he was fed on skilly and drilled for -eight hours a day. He utilized his first afternoon off duty to come to -me in the mad ward of Haidar Pasha hospital, where he literally wept out -his sufferings into my unsympathetic ear and implored the Spook to get -him better treatment. The Spook reminded him he had offered to share the -starvation of the mediums and informed him that he was now “doing his -bit,” and it is fair to the Pimple to record that when he heard the -verdict he dried his tears, held his head high, and announced that he -was proud to do his duty by our great cause; henceforward, he said, he -would endure the torments of bad food, bad lodging and hard physical -exercise without a moan. He never complained again, but he sometimes -referred with regret to the luxuries of his old post at Yozgad,—and we -felt the camp was avenged. - -One other thing we did for the camp. On the 24th the Changri prisoners -arrived. We knew from the Turks that the reason for their coming to -Yozgad was their refusal to give parole not to escape. Several of -them—Le Patourel, Lowndes, Anderson, Johnstone, and Cochrane (of “_450 -Miles to Freedom_” fame) came to see us and told us that practically the -whole party intended to escape. We were invited to join but our -transport was already ordered by the Spook and it was too late to alter -our plans had we wished it. Then we learned from the Pimple that the -Changri Commandant (who accompanied the new prisoners to Yozgad) had -warned Kiazim that they were a set of desperate characters who were -undoubtedly planning to escape. Kiazim had therefore made up his mind to -lock up the camp again under the conditions which had prevailed when we -first arrived at Yozgad; but before doing so he wished to consult the -Spook. Would we grant him one last séance before leaving Yozgad? - -We did. Our last séance in Yozgad was held on the night of the 24th -April, 1918, and almost the last question with which the Spook dealt (I -quote the record) was: - -“The Commandant presents his compliments to the Control and wishes to -know if any of the Changri prisoners have the idea of escaping.” - -“Certainly,” was the reply. “Every man would escape if he thought it -possible, but Yozgad is as nearly impossible as any place can be, and -they are not fools. Their opinion is that escape is too difficult to -justify them in bringing the rest into trouble.” - -The Spook went on to point out that the more hours out of every -twenty-four the camp was on parole the less time would there be for -escape; for this reason alone it was advisable to grant as many _extra_ -liberties as possible to those who were willing to give parole not to -escape while actually enjoying these extra liberties. The Commandant -might be perfectly confident that every such parole would be kept. But -if close confinement were again imposed there would _certainly_ be -escapes. - -“Let the Sup. tell them they are welcome to try to escape except when on -‘extra liberties,’ but they have been warned of what will happen to the -rest. I do not say _nobody_ will try, but it is most unlikely, -_especially if they are kept contented_.” - -Just before we left Yozgad we learned (from Le Patourel, if I remember -right) that the escape was planned for early June—six weeks ahead. The -Spook immediately sent word to the Commandant that it _guaranteed_ there -would be no escape or attempt to escape for at least _three months_ from -the date of our departure from Yozgad. This gave the Changri men a free -hand until the 26th July, by which date we felt sure they would have -made the attempt.[46] - -It is of course impossible to say what would have happened had Kiazim -been left to his own resources. This much is certain: on the morning of -the 24th April he intended to keep the whole camp, and especially the -Changri men, in very strict confinement. On the morning of the 25th -April, the day after the séance, when he called to bid us farewell, and -brought us a basket of sweet biscuits for the journey, made by his -wife’s own hands, he told us he would follow the Spook’s advice and keep -the prisoners as contented as possible. I learn from the book I have -just quoted that he kept his promise, and after we left Yozgad the camp -was better off in the matter of facilities for exercise than it had ever -been in our time. Two days a week there was hunting, once a week a -picnic to the pine-woods, and, on the remaining four days, walks; also -access to the bazaar was easier to obtain. We can justly claim that the -“Black Sheep” of Yozgad brought no harm to the rest of the flock. - ------ - -Footnote 31: - - The greyhounds were expensive—about £T20 each, I believe. - -Footnote 32: - - Spink was the originator of ski-ing in Yozgad, and to his tact in - dealing with the Commandant the credit of the Ski Club is due. - -Footnote 33: - - Really because time was getting short and we must soon face the - doctors. - -Footnote 34: - - The curious will find a description in _“450 Miles to Freedom_.” - -Footnote 35: - - This, we believe, is the first instance in modern times of - correspondence between a spook and a Government office. - -Footnote 36: - - A most unfortunate explanation, as events proved. - -Footnote 37: - - The telegram was dispatched from Constantinople on March 29th and - reached Yozgad on the afternoon of April 1st. It was in cipher, and - read as follows: “With reference to your letter of March 18th, 1334” - (_i.e._, the report of the trial dictated by the Spook) “the two - officers who have been communicating with the townspeople should be - released from imprisonment, and their punishment should be to stop - them writing letters to their relations for one month.” - -Footnote 38: - - See our previous arrangement with O’Farrell, p. 118. - -Footnote 39: - - Pure water is useful on a voyage to Cyprus. - -Footnote 40: - - See p. 188. - -Footnote 41: - - Acting under the Spook’s order, Moïse had previously cross-examined - Doc. O’Farrell, who, by agreement with us, had shown confusion and - hesitation when asked if he thought we were mad, and had finally - denied our insanity. - -Footnote 42: - - Of course no such letters were ever written. Moïse was willing to lie - as much as the Spook wanted. - -Footnote 43: - - We had to provide against the danger of independent enquiry by the - doctors amongst our fellow-prisoners. Therefore, wherever possible, we - distorted _facts_ so that enquiry, if made, would reveal as a basis - for our delusions some incident which had really occurred and which - had (apparently) been misunderstood by us. Thus, in the present - instance, Colbeck _did_ threaten (jokingly, of course) to take us out - by force when we refused his invitation to tea. - -Footnote 44: - - He did—a friendly visit to support Colbeck’s invitation to tea. At - this visit he gave me permission to say what I liked about him to the - Turks. I used it freely to name him as my principal “_persecutor_” and - my “_would-be murderer_.” - -Footnote 45: - - This was founded on fact. The Turkish officials who were unpacking my - parcel said waterproof sheets were _“yessack”_ (forbidden), and seized - it for their own use. A tug-of-war developed between me and the Cook - for possession of the sheet, and when the officer in charge ordered me - to surrender it, and showed signs of joining in the struggle, I cut it - into ribbons to render it valueless to our enemies. This was in the - early days, before the treasure-hunt began. - -Footnote 46: - - In point of fact, they did not get away until the night of August - 7th-8th, and at the end of July, when the Spook’s guarantee expired, - the plotters got a bad fright. The authors of “_450 Miles to Freedom_” - say: “Unfortunately the Turks also appeared to have got wind of it - (_i.e._, the intention to escape). For the last week of July, sentries - were visited and awakened with unheard-of frequency. Even the - Commandant himself occasionally visited the different houses after - dark. In the case of one house an extra sentry was suddenly posted in - the garden.” The intention to escape was really known to the Turks - from the moment the Changri men arrived at Yozgad. Moïse informed me - at Constantinople that the tunnel at Changri had been discovered and - reported after our departure from Yozgad. I believe the sudden - activity which alarmed our friends in July was due to the expiry of - our guarantee. Hill and I apologize for not making the period four - months—we did our best! - - - - -CHAPTER XXIV - - OF OUR MAD JOURNEY TO MARDEEN - - -Ever since Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri had certified us insane -we had feigned madness whenever any Turk was near, and in the presence -of some of the visitors from the camp. We had found no great difficulty -in maintaining our rôles as occasion arose, and indeed it was rather -amusing to be able to heave a brazier of charcoal at a sentry, or try to -steal his rifle, without fear of punishment. For the strain of acting -was only temporary. We contrived to give the special sentry who was -detailed to prevent us doing harm to ourselves or others such a very hot -time that he preferred to do his tour of duty outside our room. So for -most of the hours of the twenty-four we were alone, and could be -rational. But we realized that from the moment we left our sanctuary and -started on our journey to Constantinople, our simulation must be kept up -night and day. As soon as we reached Haidar Pasha our escort would -probably be questioned about our behaviour _en route_, and it was well -they should corroborate the Pimple’s report of our actions. We agreed -there must be no half measures. Alone or together, in sickness or -health, to friend and foe, at all times and under all circumstances we -must appear mad. O’Farrell warned us that the strain would be terrible, -but not even he, doctor as he was, guessed half what it really meant. -Nothing but the hope of liberty justified the attempt, and there were -times in Constantinople when we doubted if liberty itself (which in -those days was our idea of Heaven) was worth it. Pretend to be what you -are not and the desire to be what you are grows in intensity until it -becomes an agony of the mind. Your very soul cries out to you to be -natural, to be your own “self” if only for five minutes. Then comes a -stage of fear when you wonder if you are not what you seem—if you can -ever be yourself again—if this creature that weeps mournfully when it -should be gay, or gabbles wildly about its own grandeur, is not the real -Hill, the real Jones. You _believe_ you are all right, but you want to -_try_ so as to be sure—and yet trial is impossible; it would spoil -everything. For a brief period in Haidar Pasha hospital a former patient -came back and wanted the bed Hill happened to be in, so Hill was put in -the bed next mine. It seems a little thing, that we should lie there -three feet apart instead of ten, but it meant much. That was, for us, -the easiest period of our long misery. We did not attempt to talk—we -were too closely watched for that—but at night, under cover of darkness, -sometimes he and sometimes I would stretch out an arm, and for a brief -moment grip the other’s hand. The firm strong pressure of my comrade’s -fingers used to put everything right. It was the one sane action in our -insane day. - -A merciful Providence has decreed that the present must suffice, and the -future shall be hidden from man; so though at Yozgad we guessed a little -of the horror to come, it did not unduly oppress us. When at 10 a.m. on -April 26th, the two best carts and the four best horses in the Changri -transport were brought to our door, we made merry with Moïse about this -theft from the Afion party. Then we went out into the street. In a mad -sort of way I superintended the loading of our belongings on to the -carts, getting into everybody’s way and flustering still further the -already flustered Turks. (_Why_ do Orientals always seem to lose their -heads when starting on a journey?) Hill stood by, perfectly heedless of -the tumult that was going on round him, reading his Bible and looking -miserable. Behind the barred and latticed windows of the Colonels’ House -we could hear the Changri prisoners chuckling at our antics, and a voice -hailed us from Posh Castle. We did not look up—our farewells had already -been said. By way of giving our escort an example of how to humour us, -Kiazim Bey came to the door of his office and told us in Turkish that he -was our very good friend, that he was sending us to Constantinople for a -holiday, and that the soldiers who accompanied us were there to guard us -against the enmity of Baylay and our other English foes. (All this, of -course, by order of the Spook.) I bade him a florid and affectionate -farewell and mounted the cart. Hill went on reading the Bible and had to -be pushed up beside me. The driver struck the horses with his whip. I -cheered, and my imitative mania asserting itself, I struck the driver -with my fly-flap. This caused a delay. The driver pulled up, -expostulating in angry Turkish, and my fly-flap was taken away from me -by Mulazim Hassan, who had turned up to see the last of us. By this time -there was a biggish crowd in the street. We started again. I hugged the -driver, got up another cheer, and began distributing bank-notes among -the onlookers. Moïse, who had been warned by the Spook what to do if I -was controlled into wasting my money, jumped off his cart and collected -them back again. He had hard work explaining to the ragged mob that I -was mad and they must not keep the money, but his fear of the wrath of -the Spook if he failed lent a new boldness to his speech and authority -to his manner. Still, it was not difficult to see he was far from happy -when forcing them to disgorge, and that his nervousness increased -proportionately with the size and burliness of his victim.[47] - -Thus, in the two best carts obtainable, with Moïse and two selected -gamekeepers in charge of us, and the blessings of the Commandant on our -heads, we started forth to face the world as lunatics, and to read the -thoughts of the holder of the third clue in Constantinople. It was good -fun, getting out into the open after nearly two years of dismal prison -life, and I was not a little sorry for Hill. As a religious melancholic -he must do nothing but weep or pray or read his Bible, while his heart, -if it was anything like mine, was thumping with joy at being quit of -Yozgad and moving westwards towards Europe, England, and Liberty! The -time was to come when, with hope near dead within me and the stress of -an enforced cheerful idiocy weighing me down, I would long to change -places with Hill so that I might pray a little, aye—and weep too! But -for this one day I was in luck. The Turks put down my happiness to the -fact that I was leaving behind the English who were so intent on -murdering me, and going to Stamboul to see the Sultan, and Enver Pasha, -and become a great man in the Turkish Government. So it was quite in -keeping with my type of insanity to be light-hearted, and to let off my -high spirits in any old act of lunacy that came up my back; to set the -carts racing against one another, to howl Turkish songs in imitation of -the drivers, to shout mad greetings and make faces and throw money (to -the annoyance of the Pimple) at the amazed passers-by. And from my own -private point of view there was some excuse for high spirits—were we not -the first two to get out of Yozgad on our own initiative, and were we -not being taken on a personally conducted tour at the expense of the -Turkish Government, which, if all went well, would end in old England? -So I laughed, and shouted, and sang, and was exceeding cheerful, to the -great joy of the escort and the drivers, who much preferred this phase -of my lunacy to my “dangerous” moods. All the time Hill sat mournfully -huddled up, as became a melancholic, but once, when he glanced at me, I -noticed his eyes were sparkling. He told me afterwards it must have been -a sparkle of anticipation—he was planning his first dinner at Home! - -The first three days of our journey were very happy. In my rôle of -“cheerful idiot” I rapidly got on good terms with Bekir and Sabit, the -two sentries, and with the drivers of our carts. Beyond insisting on -praying before he would do anything they wanted him to do, Hill gave -them no trouble at all. So our escort thought they had got a “cushy” -job, and a paying one, as an occasional five-piastre note, which escaped -the notice of Moïse, came their way. They told Moïse it was a shame to -send such a couple of innocents to the _“Tobtashay,”_ and they’d like to -look after us till the end of the war. They were soon to change their -tune. - -Doc. O’Farrell’s hint that a “suicide” would complete the downfall of -the Constantinople doctors had not been lost upon us. We had decided to -hang ourselves on the way to Angora, and to arrange to be rescued by the -Pimple in the nick of time. We told the Doc. of our intention. “If ye do -it,” he said with enthusiasm, “there’s not a doctor in Christendom, let -alone Turkey, will believe you’re sane!” Then caution supervened, and he -tried to dissuade us. He told us uncomfortable details about the anatomy -of the neck and the spinal column. He said that theoretically the idea -was sound, but practically it was impossible, because it was too -dangerous. A fraction of a minute might make all the difference and -convert our sham suicide into the genuine article. “One of ye do it,” he -suggested, “then the other can be at hand to cut him down if the Turks -don’t come.” We objected that, besides being suspicious, this would give -one of us an unfair advantage over the other in the eyes of the -specialists, and we were determined to do the thing thoroughly and share -all risks equally. The Doc. made one last despairing effort. - -“Suppose you pull it off and deceive the Turks into thinking it was a -genuine attempt,” he said, “what do you think will happen?” - -“We’ll be sent home—to England.” - -“Aye—you’ll be sent home all right. An’ what do you think your address -will be?” He leant forward and tapped my shoulder impressively with a -crooked forefinger. “Until I get back to let you out it’s Colney Hatch -you’ll be in, and divil a glimpse will ye get of Piccadilly or the -French Front or whatever it is ye’re hankering after. Remember, I can’t -write and explain—the Turks would hang _me_ if I tried.” - -“Once we are in England we can explain matters ourselves,” I laughed. - -“An’ who will believe you, with your spooks and your buried treasure and -all the rest of it? I tell you, you can explain till you’re blue in the -face, but it is mad they’ll label you, and mad you will remain till I -get back!” - -We said we’d risk that, and Doc. gave up argument and threw himself -enthusiastically into the task of helping us to deceive his professional -brethren, showing us how to fix the knot with the least danger to -ourselves, and telling us how to behave when we came to (if we ever came -to), and what to say when we were questioned about the hanging. Matthews -got us some suitable rope. We used it, for the time being, to tie up our -roll of bedding, and very innocent it looked as we rode along towards -Angora. Thus openly did the Pied Piper carry his flute. - - “... Smiling the while a little smile, - As if he knew what magic slept - Within his quiet pipe the while.” - -Our rope would open for us a path through the mountains of captivity, -and we too had our Mayor and Corporation—Kiazim and our escort—to leave -gaping behind. - -On the second day out from Yozgad the Spook began to prepare Moïse for -the “suicide.” It was, of course, out of the question to use the -spook-board, or to hold regular séances, because privacy was impossible, -and we did not wish the sentries to see Moïse in his rôle of “sitter,” -lest they report the fact to the Constantinople authorities. The Spook -had therefore announced at one of our last séances in Yozgad that we -were now so well in tune, and so amenable to “control” that the use of -the board could be dispensed with (though we were to take it with us), -and after leaving Yozgad messages would be delivered through either Hill -or myself, as Moïse desired. Moïse suggested that the messages should be -delivered through me, and asked for some sign by which he might know -“whether it is Jones himself who is talking or whether it is the Control -speaking through his voice.” The Spook said that the sign of my being -under control would be that I would start twisting my coat-button. -Whatever was said while I twisted the button emanated from the Spook, -and not from myself, and neither Hill nor I would be conscious of it or -remember anything about it. The Pimple was overjoyed at this advance to -more speedy means of communication; for the glass and board method had -been painfully slow, a séance taking anything up to six hours. The great -merit of the Ouija or of table-rapping, from the mediums’ point of view, -lies in this very fact of slowness, for spelling out an answer letter by -letter gives us psychics plenty of time to think. When an inconvenient -question is asked, an unintelligible reply can easily be given, and -while the sitter is trying to puzzle out what it means the mediums can -consider what the final reply is to be. But when the Spook uses the -medium’s voice question and answer follow one another with the rapidity -of ordinary conversation, and there is less opportunity for -deliberation. Because of this danger we had never trusted ourselves to -use the “direct speech” method in Yozgad.[48] But on the road to -Constantinople we used it freely, for we knew exactly what we wanted, -and were quite sure of our man. - -Early in the morning on the second day, the drivers asked us to lighten -the load by walking. The Pimple, Hill, myself and the two sentries took -a short cut up the hillside, while the carts followed the winding road. -The Pimple began giving us a lesson in French, for the Spook had told -him to teach us some French words and a few simple phrases in order to -enable us to ask for things in hospital. Ever since Constantinople had -been fixed upon as our destination Moïse had spent an hour a day in -giving us a French or Turkish lesson. He was an excellent teacher, but -he found us rather slow pupils. - -“Your Turkish,” he said to me as we walked together up the hill, “is -much better than your French. Now—say the present tense—_je suis_.” - -“_Je suis, tu as, il a_——” - -“No, no, no,” said the Pimple, “you mix with _avoir_! Perhaps I have -tried to make you go too fast. Do you remember the numerals?” - -I got as far as “_douze_” and stuck. - -“You, Hill?” - -Hill struggled on to twenty in an atrocious accent. - -“You should have learned all this at school,” said the Pimple -reprovingly; “you British are always deficient in foreign languages, but -even so most of you know the French rudiments.” - -“I was trained for India,” I said apologetically. “Eastern languages, -you know. Perhaps that is why I find Turkish easier.” - -“You are lazy and forgetful, both in French and Turkish.” He began to -lecture us for forgetting our lesson of the day before. “Try _je suis_ -again and see if you can——” Suddenly his voice broke. - -“Sir,” he said, excitedly, fixing his eyes on my fingers. I was twisting -my coat-button. - -The Spook began to speak through me, and Moïse was at once all ears. The -change in his attitude was extraordinary. A moment before he had been a -hectoring schoolmaster abusing his pupils, a Turkish conqueror in charge -of his two prisoners, secure in his superior knowledge and in his -official position. Now he was the disciple, humble, deprecating, almost -cringing. - -The Spook reminded him that both Hill and I were now in a trance and -knew nothing of what was being said. Moïse was to keep it secret, lest -we got frightened. For in order to justify, in the eyes of the -authorities, the diagnosis and fears of the Yozgad doctors, we were to -be controlled into hanging ourselves. - -“Oh _mon Dieu_!” said the Pimple. He was genuinely shocked. - -“_Tais-toi!_“ said the Spook angrily. ”_Il ne faut jamais dire ce mot -là’._” It began abusing him in French for his carelessness. The Pimple -made a most abject apology in the same language, which the Spook was -graciously pleased to accept. It then went on in English to describe the -Pimple’s part in the coming suicide, and to impress upon him the -importance of carrying out his orders exactly, for on that alone the -lives of the mediums would depend. - -The hanging, the Spook explained, would take place at night, at Mardeen, -which was a little country town some sixty miles from Yozgad. The signal -that the hanging had begun would be the extinguishing of the candle in -the mediums’ room. As soon as he saw the room was in darkness, Moïse was -to call out and ask why the light was put out. He would get no answer -and would enter the room to see what was the matter. He would find Hill -and Jones hanging by the neck, close together, and must at once do his -best to lift them up so as to take some of their weight off the rope, -and shout at the top of his voice for assistance, holding them thus till -help arrived and they could be cut down. Any carelessness on his part -would mean the death of the mediums and loss of the treasure, but beyond -being careful to carry out his instructions he need have no other -worries, for the mediums would feel no pain and would be quite -unconscious of what they were doing. - -The Spook made Moïse repeat his instructions, over and over again, until -there was no doubt that he knew exactly what to do. Then I gave a sigh, -let go of the button, and turned my eyes, which had been fixed steadily -on the horizon, and said: - -“All right, I think I can remember it now! _Je suis, tu es, il est, nous -sommes, vous êtes, ils ont._” - -Moïse stared at me open-mouthed. He was a little shaken. - -“Yes,” he said. “That’s right, except the third plural. But do you know -you’ve been in a trance?” - -“Has he?” said Hill. “I never noticed.” - -“And in your trance,” Moïse went on, “you spoke French—well, fluently, -with _argot_ in it!” - -“You don’t say so! What did I say?” - -“You abused me for saying ‘_mon Dieu!_’” - -“Nothing else?” - -“No,” Moïse lied. “Nothing else. But surely that is wonderful enough? -Oliver Lodge says it is practically unknown for mediums to speak in a -tongue they don’t know. You’ve beaten Lodge.” - -“But you’ve been teaching us French,” I expostulated. - -“Pah!” said the Pimple, “you used words you never heard in your life!” - -Perhaps! But then, the Pimple did not know as much about me as he -thought. My training for India had not been entirely confined to Eastern -languages. I have pleasant recollections of summers spent in a French -school and a French ’Varsity. - - - - -CHAPTER XXV - -HOW WE HANGED OURSELVES - - -On the 29th April, 1918 (an ominous day because it was the second -anniversary of the fall of Kut-el-Amara and of the beginning of my -captivity), we drove into the little town of Mardeen. Here, on our -journey to Yozgad twenty-two months ago, we had rested for a day. We -were then travel-worn, footsore and starved. The memories of the awful -desert march, the studiously callous neglect with which the Turks had -treated us on the way, the misery of being herded and driven and clubbed -across the wastes like so many stolen cattle, and sheer weariness of -body had nigh broken our spirit. Long afterwards a British officer, -captured on the Suez front, who saw the Kut prisoners pass through -Angora, told me, “When we saw your mob being driven along I turned to my -neighbour and said, ‘By God! Those fellows have been through it! They’re -broken men, every one of them!’ You all looked fit for nothing but -hospital.” Our batch were officers, and as such the Turks had granted us -a little money and a little transport to help us on the way. What the -men of the garrison suffered no one can tell. The desert road from Kut -to railhead at Raas-el-ain is 600 miles. At each furlong-post set a -stone to the memory of a murdered prisoner, and there will still be -corpses to spare! That lonely desert track belongs to the Dead Men of -Kut. - -My second entry into Mardeen was happier than the first. We were -travelling in comfort. The twisting of a coat-button made us in fact -what that courteous liar Enver Pasha had glibly promised we should -be—“the honoured guests of Turkey.” The Spook could get us all the -comforts we wanted, and though we still denied ourselves proper food the -starvation was nothing, for it was a self-imposed means to an end. In -place of a hopeless captivity there lay ahead of us the hope of early -freedom. So we bumped joyfully over the cobbled streets and drew up in -the market square. We noticed with interest the effects of the pressure -of the British Navy. Two years ago the shops had still been full of -European goods. Now most of them were shut, and those which remained -open were empty of everything but local produce. A restaurant where I -had got a good meal for five piastres was now charging forty piastres -for a single dish of poor food. Everywhere prices were fabulously high. -Last winter, we learned, the town had been swept by typhus. Most of the -townsfolk were in rags; at all of which we could have rejoiced had it -not been for the starving children. Hill nudged me and silently -indicated a little group of them, pallid with hunger, grubbing amongst -some refuse in the hope of finding food the dogs had overlooked. The -Spook got to work with five-piastre notes, and my Turkish being already -good enough to enable me to tell each recipient to run like smoke, the -Pimple had a desperate ten minutes. He returned from his last chase -puffing and blowing, and bundled me back into the cart. He was very -frightened, for he had retrieved very few of the notes. - -We went on to one of the three caravan-serais of which the town boasted. -These Turkish serais are built on a regular model. A big gateway leads -into an open courtyard surrounded on all four sides by buildings. These -are usually two-storeyed. The lower storey consists of stables for the -horses, the upper of rooms for the men. Round the upper storey runs a -fairly broad veranda, which overlooks the courtyard and gives access to -the rooms. The veranda is reached by a staircase leading up from the -courtyard. Somewhere in the building there is usually a coffee-stall, -kept by the caretaker, where light refreshment can be obtained. - -As we entered the courtyard the caretaker bustled forward with his bunch -of great keys. He opened room after room for our inspection. They were -all stone floored, low-ceilinged and devoid of all furniture. This would -not have mattered to us. The important point was that nowhere could we -see a place to tie a rope above five feet from the floor. The building -seemed to have been specially designed to prevent suicide by hanging. - -Hill was mooning along with us, reading his Bible as he went and -pretending to take no interest in the proceedings, but I knew that the -mournful look he bestowed on each room as we entered had taken in every -detail. I glanced at him and he gave the tiniest shake of the head. I -turned on Moïse. - -“Is this the accommodation you offer me, ME, a friend of the Sultan!” I -said in simulated rage, twisting my coat-button as I spoke. “This is an -insult! Take us where we shall find worthy lodging, or you shall -suffer!” - -The Pimple translated to the caretaker, and asked if he had no better -rooms. That worthy closed his eyes, tossed back his head, and clicked -his tongue against the roof of his mouth. We knew the gesture well, as -does every prisoner of war from Turkey. It is the most objectionable, -irritating and insulting negative in the world. Then he pocketed his -keys and walked away. - -We went down into the courtyard. The drivers had already unharnessed. -Bekir and Sabit had taken the luggage off the carts, and as the Pimple’s -belongings included 500 lbs. of butter which he was taking to -Constantinople in the hope of selling it at a profit, unloading was no -light task. When the Pimple told them we had refused to stay there, -sentries and drivers alike were furious. I added to the hub-bub by -dancing about the yard in a frenzy and ordering them to harness up at -once. Bekir, his face red with anger, took me roughly by the shoulder -and growled at me in Turkish. I pushed him off, and foaming with rage -informed him that he was reduced from Lieutenant-Colonel (to which rank -I had promoted him that very morning) to a common ‘_nefer_’ (private) -again, and if he didn’t load up at once I’d have him shot, I’d report -him to the Sultan, I’d tell Enver about him and blow him from the -cannon’s mouth. The Pimple translated. It was a very pretty little -scene, and quite a crowd gathered in the gateway. In the end we had our -way. The horses were harnessed, the carts were loaded, and we bumped -over the cobbles to another caravanserai. It was no better than the -first. My wrath reached boiling point: Hill became almost grotesquely -mournful. The sentries and the drivers were on the point of mutiny. I -nearly twisted off the coat-button getting Moïse to move them on. We -crossed the square to the third, last and best caravanserai in Mardeen. -The sentries and drivers began unloading as soon as they got into the -courtyard. Their patience was at an end and it was obvious they would -humour us no longer. Besides, there was nowhere else to go. The -hotel-keeper (I dignify him thus, though he was a lousy rascal enough, -because the place was a little more pretentious than the ordinary serai) -told us he had only one room unoccupied. Everything looked very hopeless -as we watched him fumble at the lock. Then he threw open the door. It -was a narrow room, about fifteen feet long by ten wide, and contained -two beds. In the wall opposite the door was a small barred window, too -low down to be of any use. I glanced at the ceiling. It was high—a good -11 feet above ground level—and directly overhead, close to the door and -about three feet apart from one another, were four solid rings, fastened -by staples to the woodwork, that looked strong enough to hold an ox. Our -luck had changed. Things could not have been better had we ordered them -specially. - -I turned to the hotel-keeper. - -“We would prefer a larger room, with ten beds, if you have it.” - -He said he had no other room. I bowed profoundly and indicated our -willingness to make the best of a bad job. Hill was already sitting on -the floor reading the Bible. - -Bekir and Sabit brought up the luggage and proceeded to make themselves -comfortable. An attempt to get them to take up their quarters on the -veranda failed. My simulated rage at the first two hotels had frightened -them. They thought I was in one of my dangerous moods, and stuck to -their posts. But there was still plenty of time, as it was not yet -sunset. - -Opposite the door of our room, on the other side of a small narrow -passage, was the coffee-shop of the hotel. It was full of a motley crowd -of drovers and shepherds. At my suggestion Bekir, Moïse and I entered -it, leaving Hill at his religious duties in the corner and Sabit to -watch him. Before Moïse could stop me I had ordered and paid for coffee -all round—it cost a shilling a cup! While this was being drunk I went -amongst the drovers and asked confidentially if there were any English -in the town, and if any of them knew Major Baylay. There were no English -in Mardeen, and Baylay was utterly unknown. In my joy at the news I -ordered ten cups of coffee for each guest and threw a pile of bank-notes -on the counter. Moïse grabbed it, explained to the crowd that I was mad, -and amid much sympathetic murmuring and “Allah-Allah-ing” from the -drovers I was hustled back into my own room. In preparation for what was -coming later, the hotel habitués had been given a hint of our mental -state, and I had seen what we wanted in the coffee-room—a small table, -by standing on which we could reach the rings. As an excuse for getting -it brought in we ordered a meal. - -The next problem was to get rid of the sentries. While Moïse was out of -the room ordering our dinner, Hill (pretending to be reading his Bible -aloud) suggested that after the meal I should invite the sentries and -Moïse to step across the passageway and have a cup of coffee with me. -They would probably accept the invitation because they regarded Hill as -harmless. While they were away Hill would fix the ropes to the rings. I -would excuse myself for a moment and return to the room, the door of -which they could see from the coffee-room. We would jam the table -against the door, stand on it, get the nooses round our necks, blow out -the light and swing off. I agreed. - -Moïse came back with the table and the food. We all had dinner (Bekir -and Sabit were fed at our expense as a mark of their return into -favour). Under pretence of doing something to the luggage, Hill tied -nooses on our two ropes. The sentries did not notice what he was doing. -Then he began to read his Bible again. I invited the party to coffee. -All accepted, except Hill, who paid no attention. We opened the door: -the coffee-room was shut. The “_café-jee_” had gone away! Our plan had -failed. Bekir offered to get a bottle of cognac if we would provide the -money. I had a momentary idea of making the men drunk enough to sleep -soundly, but it would be too dangerous. Besides, the Turks would expect -us to drink level, and we needed clear heads if we were to make no -mistakes. So we vetoed the cognac and I voted for tea. Sabit went out -and boiled some water over a fire in the yard. I tried to get Bekir to -go and see why he was so long about it, but Bekir had taken his boots -off and couldn’t be bothered. Sabit came back with the hot water. I had -failed again. - -As we drank the tea I began to make myself as interesting as I could, -and told tales current among Welsh country folk that appealed to the -bucolic minds of our escort. I spoke of things seen in the East, and -especially of crops and harvests in distant lands. Moïse interpreted. -The sentries listened intently, for they were small farmers themselves, -and asked intelligent and endless questions. Thus they forgot their -fears about us, and ten o’clock arrived. But we were no nearer our -objective. Sabit began to spread his bedding in his customary -place—across the door. - -“Before Sabit lies down,” I said, “I want to be taken to the House of -Purification” (the Turkish name for lavatory). I signalled secretly to -Hill to come with us. Bekir and Sabit got their rifles and marched us -into the outer darkness. The Pimple remained behind. After we had gone a -few paces I slipped an Indian rupee and a Turkish gold lira into Hill’s -palm, and began singing. This is what I sang— - - “It’s up to you to show them some tricks. - I’ll say it’s magic, you get them keen, - Then offer to show them one still more wonderful - If they’ll stand outside the door while you prepare.” - -Hill squeezed my arm to show that he understood, and I turned to Sabit -and asked for a Turkish song. He complied readily enough. By the time we -got back to the room we were all singing together, except Hill. He went -back to his corner and his Bible. - -“That last tune of Bekir’s reminds me of one I heard from a witch doctor -in Togoland,”[49] I said to the Pimple. “He was a great magician and -held converse with djinns. Ask Bekir if he has ever seen magic.” - -Bekir had often heard of magic and djinns, but had never seen any. Yes, -he would like very much to see some, but where? - -I pointed to Hill, huddled up in his corner, and told them he knew all -the magic of the aborigines of Australia. I’d make him show us some, if -they wished it. They were delighted at the idea. But Hill refused to -oblige. He said magic was “wicked” and he had given it up. - -“Shall I force him to do it?” I asked. - -Bekir and Sabit nodded. They were very keen already, and knew that Hill -usually obeyed me—it was a feature in his insanity that he gave in to me -more readily than to anyone else. But tonight he simulated great -reluctance. I had to threaten to take his Bible away before he would do -as he was told. Finally he stood up, the picture of mournful -despondency, and slowly rolled up his sleeves. We lit a second candle -and placed it on the table. We moved the table to the spot we wanted -it—not directly under the rings but slightly to one side, so that we -would swing clear when we stepped off. Then Hill began. - -It was a very wonderful little performance. He showed his empty hand to -the sentries, then closed it slowly under their noses (his audience was -never more than three feet away). When he opened it a rupee lay shining -in his palm. The sentries gasped—here was a man turning thin air into -silver. Could he make gold too? Hill took the rupee in his right hand -and threw it into his left three times. The third time it turned into a -Turkish gold lira. The sentries, dumb with surprise, took it from his -palm, examined it closely by the candlelight, bit it, rang it on the -table. “It is good,” said Bekir, handing it back. “Make more, many -more.” Hill smiled a little sourly and threw the lira back into his left -hand, and it turned back into a rupee. Sabit gave a short, very nervous -bark of a laugh. Bekir was disappointed—he wanted more gold. With a look -of utter boredom on his face Hill began extracting gold coins from the -air, from under the table, from the back of his knee, slipping his -harvest into his pocket as he garnered it. The sentries gaped in -open-mouthed astonishment. Hill picked up his Bible and made to sit in -his corner again. - -“More!” said Bekir. “Show us more magic.” - -Hill turned back. “Would you like to see the table float about the -room?” he asked. - -They would like it very much. - -“Then step outside the door while I speak to the djinns.” - -We all rose to go out, I with the rest. - -“You’ll be out there about 15 minutes,” Hill went on; “better take a -candle with you. And if you value your lives don’t come in till I call -you. But I want one of you to stay and help me.” - -I suggested Moïse should stay, and in the same breath twisted my button -and told him to leave me behind. It ended by the sentries going out with -Moïse quite happily. We closed the door. It fitted badly, and Moïse had -but to watch the space between the lintel and door to see when our light -went out. Darkness was to be his signal for breaking in. - -The moment the door closed, Hill handed me my rope, and we mounted the -small table together. My hands shook so from excitement that the ring -rattled against the staple with a noise like castanets, and I could -scarcely control my fingers to knot the rope. It was not unlike the -“stag-fever” which afflicts young hunters of big game. - -“Steady,” said Hill in a low voice, “they’ll hear you.” - -He was already standing with the rope round his neck. His ring and -staple had not made a sound. His voice pulled me together, and next -moment my task too was done. - -“Ready?” I whispered. - -“I’m O.K.,” he replied. - -We shook hands. - -“Take the strain,” I said. - -Holding the rope above my head in my right hand, I bent my knees till it -was taut about my neck. I could not see Hill, but knew he was doing the -same. We did not want an inch of “drop” if we could avoid it. - -The candle was ready in my left hand. I blew it out, and we swung off -into space. - -To anyone desirous of quitting this mortal coil we can offer one piece -of sound advice—don’t try strangulation. Than hanging by the neck -nothing more agonising can be imagined. In the hope of finding a -comfortable way of placing the noose we had both experimented before -leaving Yozgad, but no matter how we placed it we could never bear the -pain for more than a fraction of a second. When we stepped off our table -in the dark at Mardeen we simply had to bear it, and though we had -arranged to grip the rope with one hand so as to take as much weight as -possible off the neck until we heard Moïse at the door, the pain was -excruciating. Moïse did not at once notice that our light had gone out. -I revolved slowly on the end of my rope. My right arm began to give out -and the rope bit deeper into my throat. My ears were singing. I wondered -if I was going deaf, if I could hear him try the door in time to get my -hand away, if he was ever going to open the door at all. It was -impossible to say how long we hung thus, revolving in the dark. I -suppose it was about 90 seconds, but it seemed like ten years. - -“Hill, Jones, are you ready?” At last the Pimple had seen the signal. - -We instantly let go of our ropes and hung solidly by the neck—it was -awful. - -“Hill, Jones!” The Pimple was shouting now. We could not have answered -had we tried. - -The door crashed open. The Pimple saw us, yelled at the top of his -voice, and kept on yelling. Somebody rushed past (I was next the door) -bumping against me so that my body swung violently, and the rope -tightened unbearably round my throat. Then a pair of strong arms clasped -my legs and—oh, blessed relief!—lifted me a little. (I found out -afterwards it was Sabit, the sentry. The Pimple was doing the same for -Hill.) There was soon pandemonium in the room; in answer to the Pimple’s -cries people came rushing in from all over the hotel. The place was in -darkness and everybody except Hill and myself were shouting as loud as -they could, while the Pimple’s shrieks sounded clear above the din. Then -somebody took me by the waist and threw all his weight on me. Through my -closed eyelids I saw a whole firmament of shooting stars. I don’t quite -know what happened after that until I found myself on the floor. The -same thing was done to Hill. I believe it was one of the drovers who did -it, but what his intention was I never knew. Perhaps he was testing us, -to see if we would put up our hands, or perhaps he was a good Mohammedan -anxious to finish off two infidel “_giaours_.” Whatever his object may -have been, he did not succeed. - -I don’t think either Hill or I ever quite lost consciousness, but for a -time everything was very confused. We have quite clear recollections of -unnamable tortures being inflicted upon us, which we endured without -sign as best might be. Turkish methods of resuscitation are original and -barbarous. At last somebody poured a bucketful of extraordinarily cold -water over me and I half opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Hill. -He lay on a bed still feigning unconsciousness, with dropped jaw and -protruding tongue. The local expert in anatomy was practising on him the -same abominable treatment as I had just undergone. Another gentleman was -pouring water impartially over Hill and the bed. The hotel-keeper, in a -vain effort to save his mattresses, was tugging at Hill’s head so as to -bring it over the edge of the bed and let the water fall on the floor. -Hill opened his eyes and began to cry, as Doc. O’Farrell had warned him -to do. They continued to pour water over us both, until the floor was an -inch deep in it. - -Doc.’s orders to me on “coming to” had been to be as abusive and noisy -as possible, and to curse everybody for cutting me down. It was the only -unfortunate bit of advice he ever gave us. As soon as I felt up to it, I -tried to struggle to my feet, shook my fist at the Pimple and added to -the general din by roaring out, “_Terjuman chôk fena! Terjuman chôk -fena!_” (Interpreter very bad.) - -Bekir, who had a firm grip on my collar, thrust me back to a sitting -position on the floor and relieved his feelings at finding me so much -alive by striking me a heavy blow with his fist under the ear. I paid no -heed to him, though my head was singing, and continued to roar, -“_Terjuman chôk fena!_” at the top of my voice, but Bekir’s action was -the signal for a general assault by everyone within reach. Sabit, from -behind, drove his rifle-butt into my back, a shepherd in front smote me -on the head with a coil of rope, and a gentleman in wooden clogs on my -left kicked me hard in the stomach. The rope and the rifle had been just -endurable, but “clogs” was the last straw. An overwhelming nausea came -over me, everything swam in a giddy mist, and my voice sank like Bottom -the weaver’s from a good leonine roar of wrath to the cooing of a -sucking-dove. I have never felt so ill in my life, and it was hard to -keep at it, even in a whisper. They were going to do something more to -me, when Moïse intervened. I was profoundly thankful, but went on raving -at my rescuer between gasps. Bekir and Sabit contented themselves with -holding me down on the floor. - -Meantime my melancholic companion in crime was weeping and wailing on -the bed. He was a most distressful figure, with his pale contorted face -and streaming eyes and the great red weal round his neck where the rope -had been. His shirt was torn half off, and everything about him from his -hair to his socks was as wet as water could make it. Nobody paid the -least attention to him and he wailed on in solitude. - -The whole population of Mardeen seemed to be in the room or in the -passage outside trying to get in. Gentlemen with swords; gentlemen with -daggers; gentlemen with rifles, and blunderbusses, and knobkerries; -shepherds and drovers with long sticks; a shoemaker with a hammer; and a -resplendent gendarme with a long shining chain. On the table the -hotel-keeper was standing; he held a torch in one hand and with the -other exhibited a clasp-knife he had broken in cutting us down. Everyone -was talking at once. The din was indescribable and the smell was beyond -words. The Pimple, with fresh marks of tears on his cheeks (he had -shrieked himself into hysterical weeping), waved his arms and explained -over and over again about Hill’s gold trick and how we had fooled them -into leaving the room. The mention of the gold fired the mob to search -us. They did it very thoroughly, but found nothing but notes. Hill kept -the gold out of sight by the aid of his sleight of hand, but let them -find the rupee. This caused a fresh discussion—the rupee was evidence of -the truth of what Moïse and the sentries had said, and it must be that -the gold was magic gold, and had disappeared into the thin air whence it -came. They looked at Hill’s weeping figure with something of awe in -their glances. - -After about half an hour, when Hill and I had begun to quieten down, -Moïse questioned us for the benefit of the crowd as the Spook had -previously ordered him to do. I admitted having attempted suicide, and -said I did it because twenty English prisoners were chasing us (the -Afion party which was two days’ behind), and Major Baylay was going to -kill me. I managed to work myself up into a great state of terror. It -was easy enough to do. I had only to let my body “go,” as it were, and -as a result of our drenching, the extreme cold of the night and the -rough treatment we had just come through, it did all that was necessary -for a perfect simulation of fear. My teeth chattered and I shook all -over as if with ague. The sentries were quite alarmed at the sight, and -assured me for the hundredth time that no Englishman could come near me. - -Then Hill, questioned in the same way, sobbed out that he knew suicide -was a very wicked thing, but I had told him to do it. Moïse told him -angrily that he was a fool to take any notice of me. Hill turned his -face to the wall and went on weeping. His acting was wonderful. Next day -Moïse told us the “control” had been marvellous. - -I soon found that “letting myself go” had been a mistake; having once -begun shivering I could not stop. It was a curious sensation: my body -had taken command of the situation and was running away with me. I had -an uneasy feeling that a lunatic ought not to feel cold or exhaustion, -and I struggled hard to pull myself together, talking the while of my -terror of Englishmen in general and Baylay in particular, in the hope -that the Turks would ascribe the trembling to fear. They did. They -showed me their rifles and knives and knobkerries and promised to kill -off my English foes as they had done in the Dardanelles. Gradually my -shivering wore itself out, but I felt colder than ever. I began joking -with the crowd, telling what I would do to Baylay when I caught him. I -was joking in a mist, and their voices were beginning to sound very far -away. I knew I was on the point of fainting, and I made a mistake which -might well have been fatal to our plans. I twisted my coat-button and -said in English to Moïse, “Send us to bed.” It was a foolish, insensate -thing to say. Had the crowd in the room contained anyone who knew -English that single sentence was enough to show that Moïse was our -confederate. The moment the words were out of my mouth I realised what I -had done, and could have bitten my tongue out. By sheer good fortune, -nobody understood, but I have never forgiven myself. The contrast -between my weakness of spirit in Mardeen, and Hill’s superlative -endurance later on in Constantinople when he kept a close tongue through -a month of incredible illness and suffering in Gumush Suyu hospital, has -cured me of any pride in my will-power. But the lesson was not entirely -lost, and never again was my hatred of physical suffering allowed to -gain the upper hand. - -Luckily the crowd thought the order to change into dry things and go to -bed emanated from Moïse. Hill helped to save the situation by sobbing -out that he didn’t want dry clothes and preferred to remain as he was -and contemplate his sins. He had to be forced into his pyjamas. Meantime -Moïse had thrown me a towel and I was drying myself, joking with the mob -as I did so. We noticed that at this they began muttering among -themselves. Moïse told us later that the hotel-keeper said no lunatic -would dry himself under the circumstances. Moïse replied I did it under -his orders, which was true enough and satisfied everybody except the -hotel-keeper, who was angry at the disturbance we had caused in his -hotel and the damage done by the water to his bedding. - -At the time we did not know what the muttering was about, but we saw -something was wrong and raised a successful diversion by quarrelling -amongst ourselves. Hill wanted to hold a prayer-meeting to ask -forgiveness for our suicide, while I wanted him to obey the Turks who -were protecting us from the English, and go to bed. In the end Moïse was -asked by the hotel-keeper to make me shut up, as I was keeping everybody -in the hotel awake. I obeyed Moïse, and so far as Hill was concerned he -held his prayer-meeting and then turned in. I refused to go to bed -myself, and plagued Moïse to give me back the money he had taken from me -at the search, in order that I might buy a rifle from one of our -audience to protect myself against Major Baylay and the English. After -about an hour of fruitless begging and raving on my part the last of the -onlookers went away. Our cart drivers and two villagers were brought in -to support Bekir and Sabit in case we turned violent again and I was -made to lie down. - -My throat was too sore to let me sleep, so I saw that all six of our -guards remained awake all night, with their weapons ready in their -hands. - - - - - CHAPTER XXVI - - IN WHICH THE SPOOK CONVICTS MOÏSE OF THEFT, CONVERTS - HIM TO HONESTY, AND PROMISES OMNIPOTENCE - - -Next morning the hotel-keeper came in early to survey the damage. His -suspicions about our insanity had been partially set at rest by Moïse, -who had shown him copies of the Yozgad doctors’ certificates of lunacy, -but he still had his doubts and was out to get what compensation he -could. He produced his broken clasp-knife and demanded another in its -place. - -“Why should we give you another?” I said, “it has nothing to do with -us.” - -“I broke it in cutting your companion down,” he said indignantly, -pointing to Hill. “You’d have been dead by now but for this knife.” - -I told him he was a liar and denied that we had ever tried to hang -ourselves. He got furious and said the whole town knew we had attempted -suicide. I got equally furious and denied it. For some minutes we argued -together, and he called on the sentries to corroborate him, which they -did. Then I changed my tune, begged him not to say such a thing about us -or we would be put in gaol, and gave him my knife in place of his own. -This mollified him a little, but he still stuck to his point that we had -attempted suicide. I pretended to grow desperate, dropped on my knees, -and beseeching him to deny the hanging for our sakes, I gave the fellow -forty liras. He took the notes from me and Moïse (under the Spook’s -orders) took them from him. (He surrendered them to Moïse without a -word, but his face was a picture.) Then I gave him a tin of tea and this -the Spook allowed him to keep. He could retail it at a shilling a cup -which would amply compensate him for any damage caused to his -furnishings. - -To get to the door he had to step over Hill, who was busy praying in the -Mussulman fashion, prostrate on the floor, but with his boots on and -facing towards London instead of Mecca! The hotel-keeper shook his head -sympathetically, and went away fully convinced we were both hopelessly -mad. - -Various local officials came in during the morning and questioned us. We -stoutly denied having hanged ourselves. Moïse, under the Spook’s orders, -pretended to be alarmed at this and drew up an account of the hanging -which was signed by a number of witnesses. This was to counteract our -denial at Constantinople should we deny it. The hotel-keeper told -everybody how we had tried to bribe him into silence, and boasted of his -honesty in the matter of the forty liras. He did not mention the pound -of tea. A telegraphic report was sent to the Commandant at Yozgad, and -we learned later that Captain Suhbi Fahri and Major Osman were delighted -at the correctness of their diagnosis. - -About midday we left Mardeen. We had, as an addition to our escort, the -officer in charge of the Mardeen gendarmerie, who rode with us to the -next gendarmerie post, twenty miles away, and handed us over to the -police there. Indeed we were handed on from police officer to police -officer all the way to railhead, for we were now regarded as dangerous -lunatics. - -Proof of our dangerous character was forthcoming at every halt, and we -were privileged to learn at first hand how Turkey deals with its -criminals. Every night until we reached the railway we were put into the -strong room of the village where we halted, and in addition to our own -sentries, our drivers, Moïse and the policemen in charge, a guard of -from six to a dozen villagers was mounted over us. Another attempt on my -part to buy a weapon from one of our guards led to us being searched -again. Hill allowed them to find about twenty liras more, which Moïse -took in charge. They were then satisfied that we had no more money, but -when I announced my intention of stealing a rifle to shoot the English, -if I could not get one in any other way, Bekir and Sabit began to lose -their nerve. In spite of the extra guards either Bekir or Sabit remained -awake all the time, and held on to his own and his comrade’s rifle with -grim intensity. I pretended to think all this vigilance was for my -sake—to keep the English from getting at us—and I made a point of -getting up once or twice a night, and waking those of our sentries whose -turn it was to sleep in order to curse them for not maintaining a better -watch. As soon as they settled down again, Hill would get up and pray in -a loud voice, startling them all into nervous wakefulness once more. We -ourselves could sleep in security whenever we wished to do so, but our -unhappy sentries dared not close an eye. We soon had them completely -worn out. - -On the last day’s march, while we were resting on the roadside near -Angora, I went up to Hill and slipped something into his pocket. Moïse, -who had been warned by the Spook to look out for this, drew the -attention of the sentries and asked me what it was. I refused to say. He -then ordered the sentries to search us. To their consternation they not -only found about ten pounds more in notes, but also a revolver cartridge -on each of us. Bekir shook Hill savagely and asked where he got the -ammunition. (We had brought it from Yozgad.) - -“From Jones,” said Hill, beginning to weep. “He put it in my pocket just -now.” - -It was then my turn to be questioned. I said that I had bought the -cartridges in the last village for five pounds apiece, and the fellow -who had sold them to me had promised to bring me a revolver to fit them -for twenty pounds, so that I might shoot the English. They vowed I had -had no opportunity to buy them. I replied I did it while they slept. -Each then accused the other of sleeping in his watch. When they said I -can’t have paid for them as we had no money, I pointed to the notes they -had just taken from us and laughed in their faces. They searched us -carefully again, making us take off most of our clothing, so that they -might examine it thoroughly. They found nothing more. When they had -quite finished Bekir handed me back my coat. I put my hand in the pocket -he had just searched and drew out a gold lira. - -“You missed this,” I said, handing it over. Bekir swore, snapped a -cartridge into his rifle and held it at the ready while Sabit searched -me for the third time that morning. He found some more notes—I had -learned a trick or two from Hill. - -“I can’t help it,” I said, “my pockets breed money.” - -They next turned on my companion. Hill had made no attempt to put his -clothes on again; he was sitting on the grass mournfully reading his -Bible. When ordered to dress he murmured something about clothes being a -mockery and a snare, and went on reading. He refused to dress and there -seemed no prospect of our moving on that day. - -Then Sabit raised his hands to heaven and prayed to Allah to deliver him -from these two infidels, who were undoubtedly in league with the devil. - -While this affecting little scene was being enacted at the roadside, a -carriage passed us. It had a bagful of bread slung to the axle. The bag -must have had a hole in it, because when at last we moved on, we came -upon a loaf or a biscuit every few hundred yards for some distance. The -sentries got out and collected them—the bread was fresh and they were -much delighted. In my rôle of general manager of the universe I took all -the credit. - -“There,” I said. “You take our money and it rains bread.” - -Bekir and Sabit, who had an uneasy belief in our magic powers, did not -know what to make of it. They had not noticed the carriage. - -At Angora, where we arrived on May 1st, we had to wait six days for a -train. In accordance with Spook’s orders we were taken to a hotel -instead of to the prisoners’ camp. Bekir and Sabit were by now in such a -state of nerves that when, as occasionally happened, either of the two -was left alone with us he always sat in the doorway, clinging to his -rifle in a position that looked very much like “ready to run.” One day -when Sabit (who was if anything the more nervous of the two), was -keeping the gate in this way, I happened to require some tobacco. My -tobacco jar where I kept my reserve stock was made of two -eighteen-pounder cartridge cases, my sole memento of the siege of Kut. -How Sabit had missed seeing it before I do not know—perhaps Bekir had -searched the portion of my kit in which it lay. Sabit watched me -suspiciously from the doorway as I rummaged amongst my bedding and when -I drew out the shell case he jumped to his feet with a yell, grabbed it -from me and stood with it clasped in both hands. He was shivering with -fright and kept crying “_Bomba, bomba, bomba,_” over and over again in a -terror-stricken voice. He looked as if he expected the “bomb” to explode -at any moment, and he certainly did not know what to do with it now he -had got it. - -It took a long time to explain matters in my broken Turkish, but after -much persuasion he very carefully opened the lid, and finding only -tobacco where he expected to see high explosive, he fell a-trembling -more than ever, as does a man who has just escaped some great danger. -But this was the finishing touch to his nerves. He and Bekir insisted -henceforward on having extra help to guard us, and fetched in King Cole -(a Yozgad sentry who happened to be on leave in Angora) to help them. - -Before we left Angora the Afion party arrived from Yozgad, and we were -able to do one of their number—Lieut. Gallup—a good turn. During the -journey we had noticed a pair of new valise straps round the Pimple’s -luggage. They were made of first-class leather with good solid brass -buckles, the whole finish being obviously English. Now we knew that -Gallup had been expecting a pair of valise straps from home, and that -the parcel which should have contained them had never turned up. We -decided that these must be the missing straps, and that we would try to -get them returned to their owner, so one day at Angora I began to twist -my coat-button. - -“Sir!” Moïse was all attention as usual. - -“If you want to find this treasure you will have to learn to be honest.” - -“Why, what have I done?” the Pimple asked in alarm. - -“You are using stolen goods,” said the Spook. “You must return them to -their owners.” - -“What do you mean, Sir? My pocket-book, my knife, the tinned food.” - -“Go on,” said the Spook. “Name them all, I’m listening.” - -Moïse went on naming things he possessed which he had stolen from -prisoners’ parcels, interlarding his list with expressions of regret and -appeals for forgiveness. He blamed the Cook, I remember, for teaching -him to steal. We felt a fierce anger against the little skunk as he went -on telling the tale of his thefts. At last he came to the valise straps. - -“Return them all, every one,” said the Spook angrily, “or you will never -find the treasure.” - -“But I forget whose parcels I got them from,” the Pimple whined. - -“You can begin with the straps,” said the Spook; “they belong to Gallup, -and he is in Angora now. As to the other things, I won’t help you. You -must put them back into broken parcels when you return to Yozgad, and -you must promise to be honest in future.” Then the Spook went on to give -him a lecture on honesty, and the Pimple was deeply affected. - -“Thank you,” he said, “in future I _will_ be honest. It does me good to -talk to you, Sir. But about these straps. How am I to send them back? -What can I say? I would rather destroy them than tell Gallup I stole -them.” - -The little man was nearly in tears. As the important point was to get -the straps back to Gallup we let him off the confession. - -“Clean the straps so that they will look unused,” said the Spook, “and -parcel them up. I shall make Jones write a note to Gallup under control, -which will explain the matter.” - -The Spook then made me write to Gallup saying _I_ had stolen the straps -“as an act of revenge,” and asking him to take them back and forgive me -for my sin. Hill added as a postscript something religious about the -“blessedness of forgiveness” and my being “sore afraid.” Then Moïse took -Gallup the note and the straps. We next met Gallup in Alexandria six -months later. Many a man would have twaddled to his fellow-prisoners -about such a confession, for there is little enough to talk about in -prison camps. Except that we had been mess-mates for two years he had no -reason to keep silence. But he did, and whether he thought I had added -kleptomania to my other forms of lunacy or not, he had kept the whole -matter strictly secret. - - * * * * * - -During the journey from Yozgad Hill and I had treated ourselves rather -better in the matter of food, but for several days after the hanging we -were forced, whether we liked it or not, to resume our starvation -tactics, for our throats were too painful to allow us to swallow -anything solid, and even the milk and curds which the sentries obtained -for us were at first something of an ordeal. As our throats improved we -were assailed with the most dreadful longing for cooked food (we had -been for six weeks on dry bread), and on our second day in Angora we -indulged in a plateful each of stewed mutton and haricot beans. The -sentries and Moïse, who shared our repast, thoroughly enjoyed -themselves. Next day, on their own initiative, they ordered a similar -dinner (at our expense, of course, for they always made us pay for -everything and everybody). It was brought into our room from a -neighbouring restaurant; but meantime the Afion party had arrived from -Yozgad, and my fear of being poisoned by the English reasserted itself. -I would not eat anything myself. I forbade Hill to eat anything. And -just as the sentries were sitting down to their portion I seized the -plates and threw them away. On no account would I allow my only -protectors to poison themselves! Everybody must henceforth eat dry bread -and nothing else. Simple as it was, the food cost forty piastres (about -seven shillings) a plate, but the look of disappointment on the faces of -Bekir and Sabit was well worth the money. - -All these incidents, and many more of a similar lunatic nature, went -into the Pimple’s diary of our doings, which the Spook edited each -evening before it was written out in final form for presentation to the -Constantinople doctors. We did our best to make the documentary evidence -of our insanity complete, and the Spook under- rather than over-stated -our eccentricities so that Bekir and Sabit, if questioned, would more -than corroborate the Pimple’s notes. It was while we were in Angora that -Hill developed the habit which he afterwards carried out with great -success in the hospital of writing out texts from the Bible and pinning -them above our beds while we slept. Thus Bekir, after a fierce quarrel -with Sabit as to whose turn it was to take the first night watch, woke -up to find “Love one another” pinned over his head. - -A roomful of Turks is not at the best of times as sweet as a bed of -roses. If the room is small, and the Turks are common soldiers whose -sole raiment is the ragged uniform on their backs, and you are with them -night and day for a week, you may legitimately wonder why the Almighty -created the sense of smell. There is a Dardanelles war story of the goat -who fainted when put alongside some Turkish prisoners. Hill and I would -not be surprised if it were true. And there are worse things than -smells—grey things that crawl. Our sentries de-loused themselves daily, -dropping their quarry as it was captured into the charcoal brazier. -“Sabit holds the record,” said Hill to me one evening, “I counted today; -he caught forty-one on his shirt alone; but praise be it is not the -typhus season.” - -Everything comes to an end some time. On May 6th Moïse announced the -train would leave that evening. In obedience to the orders of the Spook -he had obtained for us a reserved compartment. We would travel in -comfort. Our twenty fellow-prisoners from Yozgad would go by the same -train as far as Eski Shehir, where they would branch off to Afion. - -The scene at Angora station beggared description. Our party consisted of -Moïse, Bekir, Sabit, Hill and myself. Now Moïse had brought with him -from Yozgad a quarter of a ton of butter, which he hoped to sell at a -profit in Constantinople. This had fired the trading instincts of Bekir -and Sabit, who purchased in Angora a two-hundred-pound sack of flour and -expected to make 100% on their outlay. But neither Moïse nor the -sentries wanted to pay carriage on their stock in trade. They therefore -planned to smuggle all their wares into our compartment, and because -they could not employ porters without fear of being detected they -intended to carry the butter and the flour from cart to train -themselves. It would take all three of them to do this because the -packages were big and heavy. We had been behaving so nicely for the last -day or two that they left us out of their calculations. - -Hill and I decided to play the game of the fox, the goose, and the bag -of corn. We crossed the platform quietly enough and entered the train. -The off-door of the compartment was locked, the near door was in full -view of the place where the luggage had been dumped. So the sentries -thought they could safely begin the porterage. At the first sign of -their leaving us alone I appeared to recollect that the Afion party was -somewhere on the train and fell into a great fear of being murdered by -the English while the sentries were away. After some time spent in a -fruitless endeavour to quieten me, Bekir went off alone and brought as -much of the lighter luggage as he could manage, while Moïse and Sabit -stood guard over us. The butter and flour still remained at the station -entrance: it was disguised in blankets and _rezais_ borrowed from our -bedding, and Sabit joined Bekir in an attempt to bring it over. It was -too heavy for them, and the Pimple ran across to lend a hand. As soon as -I was left alone I called up a railway official and held him in converse -near the door of the compartment. The three came staggering along under -their sack of flour, saw the railway official and incontinently dropped -their load and tried to look as if it did not belong to them. I was -hustled back into the compartment, the railway official was informed -that I was mad, and politely bowed himself away. The three went back to -their load, but as soon as they got their hands on it I started a -hullabaloo about the English coming, which made them drop it again and -come back to me. Next time they made the attempt I got hold of a -gendarme, complained to him that my escort had disappeared, and tried to -buy his revolver. Once more they had to explain I was mad and hustled me -back. Finally, Moïse gave up the contest and tried to book his -merchandise in the ordinary way. He was informed he was too late. Just -as the train was starting, Bekir and Sabit, throwing concealment to the -winds, got the last of their merchandise into the carriage and fell -exhausted on top of it! The Spook then cursed Moïse roundly for crowding -the mediums. - -I may as well finish the history of the butter and flour. On our -reaching Constantinople the railway authorities discovered the -merchandise and forced Moïse to pay freight. The sentries sold the flour -for exactly the amount they paid for it, so they had all their exertion -for nothing and lost the cost of freight. Moïse lost about £50 on the -butter deal, partly owing to the low price he obtained, and partly -because the Cook (who was partner in the concern) swindled him out of -£30 in making up the account. The whole affair was very satisfactory to -the Spook, who had warned Moïse against profiteering. - -The train took three nights and two days to reach Constantinople. Both -sentries broke down from exhaustion and sleeplessness before we got to -our destination, and for a time Bekir was seriously ill. He had high -fever and a bad headache, and by way of remedy he smeared his head with -sour “_yaourt_” (curds), which gave him so laughable an appearance that -Hill had much ado to remain melancholic. - -While in the hotel at Angora, Hill and I had thoroughly discussed our -future plans. It was of course impossible to talk to one another because -we were perpetually under surveillance, and Hill, as a melancholic, was -not supposed to talk; but we had a very simple and effective method of -communication. We used the spook-board. The sentries knew this was a -phase in our lunacy and saw nothing suspicious in it. If the Pimple came -in while we were doing it we used a very simple cipher which made it -seem to him that the glass was writing sheer nonsense. The key of the -cipher was to read not the letter touched by the glass, but two letters -to the right of it. Hill and I of course kept our eyes open as we -worked, and in this way were able to communicate under the nose of our -dupe. The Pimple thought we were acting “under control,” and questioned -the Spook about it when next I twisted my button. - -“Yes,” said the Spook, “they are under control. You see for yourself -that the glass writes a lot of nonsense. You must tell the -Constantinople doctors all about this and say Jones and Hill think all -these nonsensical letters are really a cipher message from the dead.” - -All of which, in due course, Moïse did. - -The conclusion to which Hill and I came in the course of these -spook-board discussions was that the hanging had been a completely -successful take-in, and, if O’Farrell was correct, this, combined with -our past history as retailed by the Commandant in his report and a -little acting on our part, would be quite sufficient to win us our -exchange. Prospects were so rosy that we considered exchange our best -chance, and decided to go through to Constantinople. Indeed, it would -have been difficult to do anything else, for on account of our attempted -suicide the police had become officially interested in us, and looked -out for us along the way. The Turkish gendarmerie is a very reasonably -efficient organization, and its members are, in the main, intelligent -and educated above the average of the Ottoman Public Services. - -The only failure we contemplated was detection of our sham. In that case -we might be put into gaol as a punishment, or we might be sent either -separately or together to one of the prison camps. The most favourable -contingency was that we might be sent back to Yozgad under charge of -Moïse. If this happened we might persuade him to try the “Four Point -Receiver” en route. If he was not sent with us we could use our morphia -tablets to drug our sentries in the train, and taking their rifles bolt -for the coast from a favourable place on the railway. It must be -remembered that at this time—May, 1918—the end of the war seemed as far -away as ever. - -Everything possible had been done to ensure the deception of the -doctors, and we now began to prepare our alternative in case of failure. - -About 10 a.m. on the 8th May, when we were nearing Constantinople, Hill -and I were ordered by the Spook to hold hands. For some minutes we sat -in silence, and then we began a joint trance talk. Moïse soon realized -we were in telepathic touch with AAA. Amidst great excitement on the -part of the sitter we learned the position of the third clue: it was -buried in OOO’s garden (now occupied by Posh Castle mess), five paces -from the southern corner and two paces out from the wall. - -“As soon as you get to Constantinople,” said the Spook, “send this -information by letter to the Commandant, but warn him not to dig until -you get back to Yozgad.” - -The Pimple could not contain his delight. He began at once plotting what -he would do with his share of the treasure. We allowed him ten minutes -of unclouded enjoyment and then interrupted him. - -“Hello!” said the Spook. “Here’s OOO; he is laughing.” - -“What is he laughing at?” Moïse asked. “He should be weeping, he is -beaten.” - -“What you say has made him laugh more than ever,” the Spook replied. “He -is laughing at _us_. Wait a minute while I find out what has happened.” - -There was a pause for perhaps thirty seconds, and the Spook spoke again: -“It’s all right! OOO pretends to have controlled Price to dig it -up—that’s all! You needn’t look so alarmed, Moïse. Even if anything has -gone seriously wrong, we can always fall back on the Four Point -Receiver. When you get back to Yozgad, if you don’t find the clue ask -Price about it,[50] and if anything does go wrong remember the Four -Point Receiver.” - -Here the joint trance-talk ended. Hill’s eyes closed, his head fell back -against the pile of butter boxes, and he seemed to go off into a deep -trance-sleep. Sabit was snoring in his corner. Opposite Sabit, and -diagonally opposite me, Bekir sat watching with glazed eyes, and moaning -sometimes in semi-delirium. His weather-tanned cheeks were flushed, for -the fever was heavy upon him, and under its coating of clotted -“_yaourt_” his face looked like a badly white-washed red-brick wall. The -Pimple paid no attention to the sick man, but kept his eyes fixed on my -coat-button, and leant forward eagerly to catch the Spook’s words above -the rattle of the train. - -It was a grim audience, but the Spook made a memorable speech. - -It began with the platitude that the world was in the melting-pot. -Russia was broken for ever. Turkey was doomed. Britain, Germany, -Austria, Roumania, Serbia, Italy, France,—all were bled white, nor could -they ever recover their old place in the world. Their day of pride and -power was over, and those nations which came through the war would -survive only to sink beneath the tide of red anarchy. - -It had all happened before, many, many times. Thus had died the -civilisations of China and Mexico, of India and Assyria, of the -Persians, the Egyptians, the Greeks, and the Romans. And now it was the -turn of Europe. It was but the evening of another day in the history of -the world. Fear not. Out of the ashes a new and more glorious phœnix -would arise. The torches of civilization, of science, of knowledge must -be rekindled from the dying flames of the European conflagration and -kept burning brightly to herald the dawn of the most glorious day of -all, the day of international brotherhood, of universal peace and -goodwill over the whole surface of the globe. But whose hand was to -kindle the torch? - -“America,” said the Pimple. “America will do it.” - -“No,” the Spook answered. “It will not be America. The Americans have -the wealth and power to hold the lead for a few years, but it will only -be the material leadership, and even that will be short-lived. They will -never sit upon the moral throne of the world, for they have one -possession too many, a possession which will hamper their every effort, -and which dooms them to share the death of all the nations. They have a -country; they are tied down to a strip of land, of common earth, which -they regard as peculiarly their own, and which they are never done -extolling and comparing with the territory of other nations. To them, as -to every other nation in the world, their country comes first, and the -great moral forces come second. Like the French or the Germans or the -British, they will lay down their lives for their country with a perfect -self-sacrifice; but simply because they are _not_ too proud to fight -_for themselves_, simply because even if their country be in the wrong -they are prepared to die for it, they belong to the vanishing era of the -past. The leaders of the future will be a nation without a country, or -rather a nation whose country is the whole world.” - -“But there is no such nation,” Moïse objected. - -“Isn’t there!” said the Spook. “Are you quite sure? Has there not been -for a thousand years and more, is there not now, a nation without -territory but with a great national spirit, a nation whose sons have -been scattered for centuries over the earth and yet have maintained -their unity of blood, and won their places in the council chamber as -leaders of men, wherever they have gone? And this they have done, not by -strength of arm and weight of armament—these are the weapons of the -dying present which will be discarded in the new era—but by the moral -and intellectual supremacy which is theirs. Intellectual, moral and -religious strength is to take the place of guns and ships and physical -force, and in these weapons of tomorrow, this nation—the landless -nation—of which I speak is supreme. Moïse! can you name the future -leaders of humanity?” - -“The Jews,” he said, and I noticed his eyes were blazing. - -“Of whom,” said the Spook, “you are one, and if you will hearken unto -me, and do that which I say, there is that in you which will make you -leader of your kind.” - -The Spook began to flatter Moïse. The fellow really was an excellent -linguist. The Spook made the most of it, and magnified his quite -reasonably acute intelligence into a gift of phenomenal brain power. It -made out that Moïse was more richly endowed with the potentialities of -greatness than any of the great leaders the world has ever seen. It -insisted that moral force is infinitely more effective than physical. -Moses, Mohammed, Buddha, Socrates, Jesus of Nazareth, each in his own -way had had an influence more powerful and lasting and more widespread -than any of the great soldiers in history; yet in no case had the -influence of any one of them been world-wide or supreme, for each had -taught only his own aspect of the universal truth. The old faiths, the -old beliefs, the old social theories were worn out and obsolete. -Mohammedism, Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism—all these were only -partial expressions of the truth. But now the time was ripe and men were -ready for the complete expression of the universal. The world was -waiting for a new leader and a new teacher who would heal its sores, -weld it into one vast brotherhood of men, and guide it through an era of -universal prosperity, happiness and well-doing to the millennium. And -the finger of destiny pointed to the Jews as the chosen people, and to -Moïse as the chosen leader of the Jews. He had the personality, the -brain-power, the intellectual force—all the potentialities for the -making of the greatest man the world has ever seen. But he must not -lessen his own power for good by descending, as he had done at Yozgad, -to acts that were mean or low or dishonest, acts that if persisted in -would undermine and finally destroy the moral force of character on -which his leadership would depend. The Spook lashed him for his past -sins and then concluded: “Henceforth, if you wish to lead the world, you -must walk humbly and do justly. You must live a righteous and austere -life, so that at the appointed time you may join the mediums in Egypt. I -shall then, if my precepts have been obeyed, reveal unto you how you may -attain the goal of all the human race. Good-bye.” - -Youth in general, and Jewish youth in particular, is blessed with a -profound belief in its own capacity. Every young man in his inmost heart -thinks that he is fitted for extraordinary greatness if he only had the -luck, or the energy, or the knowledge necessary to develop the -potentialities that lie dormant within him. The Pimple was no exception -to the rule. He was not, I suppose, any more or any less ambitious than -the average young Jew, but he undoubtedly had a very high opinion of -himself. When that opinion was more than confirmed by the mysterious and -infallible being in whom he placed all his faith; when possibilities -were shown him of which he had never dreamt; and the vista of a glorious -future was spread before his excited imagination, he was stirred to the -depths of his shallow soul. I have never seen a man more moved. Long -before the end of the Spook’s speech he had burst into tears, and his -suppressed sobbing shook him so that he dared not speak. For some time -after the Spook had finished talking he sat with head bowed and averted, -lest the sentries should see his face. Then he furtively dried his tears -and implored us to promise to meet him in Egypt some day in the near -future. We gave the promise and hoped it might be soon. - -We reached Constantinople about 3 o’clock that afternoon, and Moïse left -us on the station platform in charge of the sentries while he went off -with his papers to arrange for our admission to hospital. We waited -patiently, hour after hour. About 7 o’clock Hill turned to me—the -sentries were some way off. - -“There’s one thing worrying me,” he whispered. - -“What is it, old chap?” - -“If the Pimple takes as long as this to get two lunatics into hospital, -what sort of a job will he make of running the world?” - - - - - CHAPTER XXVII - - OF THE FIRST DAY IN HAIDAR PASHA HOSPITAL AND THE - PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION BY THE SPECIALISTS - - -It was long after dark when Moïse returned to the station with the news -that everything had been arranged. We and our baggage were then marched -up the hill to Haidar Pasha hospital, whose main entrance is about half -a mile from the railway terminus. For the last ten days we had been -doping ourselves regularly with phenacetin, and this on top of our -starvation had weakened us so much that we were glad to sit down on the -pavement half way to the hospital and rest. We each took our last four -tablets of phenacetin (20 grains) just before entering the hospital. - -The building was in darkness. We were taken to the “receiving room,” or -“depôt,” where Moïse supplied the clerk in charge with such facts about -us as were required for entry in the hospital books, and handed over our -kit and our money, for which he obtained a receipt. It is fair to the -Pimple to record that although he could easily have done so, he made no -attempt to retain for himself any of our belongings. Indeed, throughout -the whole period of our spooking together he was always scrupulously -honest to us in money matters. - -During these formalities Hill read his Bible as usual, and I, pretending -to be under the delusion that the hospital was a hotel, repeatedly -demanded that the night-porter should be summoned to show us to our -rooms, and bring us a whisky and soda. The clerk was a humorous fellow. -He explained that as it was war time the hotel had to be very minute in -its registration, but “Boots” would be along in due course. At last, the -“night-porter”—a rascally Greek—appeared and led us to an inner room, -devoid of all furniture, where he made us undress. At the depôt we had -been given a couple of our own loaves to tide us over the next day, for -hospital rations would not be issued to us till next evening. The Greek -appropriated our loaves. He also went through each garment as we took it -off, and helped himself to anything he fancied in the pockets; He was on -the point of taking my wrist-watch when the “_hammam-jee_” (the man in -charge of the bath) arrived with towels for us. The watch remained on my -wrist, and the Greek took away our clothes, presumably to the depôt. I -never saw mine again, nor did I ever get square with the descendant of -Aristides, for soon after he departed to a place where clothes are -unsuited to the climate. - -The Commander of the Bath was a washed-out looking Turk. He had a large, -pasty, featureless face, not unlike a slightly mouldy ham in size, -colour, and outline. While we were washing he took charge of the few -small belongings we still retained—our cigarettes and tobacco, my watch, -the first volume of the _History of my Persecution by the English_. He -failed to loosen Hill’s grip on his Bible, and it came into the bathroom -with us. He asked if we had any money, and seemed disappointed when he -found we had none. When we had bathed he brought us our hospital -uniform—a vest, a pair of pants, a weird garment that was neither shirt -nor nightgown but half-way between, and Turkish slippers, and put into -our hands everything he had taken from us. I was surprised at his -honesty, but found later that, like every other subordinate in the -hospital, he had his own method of adding to his income. Even when the -doctors ordered it for us, Hill and I tried in vain to get another bath. -Either there was “no room” or “the water was off” or “the bath had to be -disinfected after itch patients”—there was always one excuse or another -to turn us away until we discovered that a ten-piastre note would -disinfect the bath, turn on the water, and make room for us, all in a -breath. - -The “_hammam-jee_” handed us over to an attendant of the -“_Asabi-Qaoush_” (nervous ward). In the room to which we were taken by -this gentleman there were ten beds, four on one side, five on the other, -and one at the end. I was put into No. 10 bed, which was next the door. -Next to me, in No. 9 bed, was a Turkish officer, and on his other side, -in No. 8, they placed Hill. The room was faintly lit by a cheap kerosine -lamp. The corridor outside was in darkness. Both our beds were in full -view of the door. - -I covered my head with the blankets, leaving a small peep-hole, through -which I could watch the corridor, and lay waiting. We were determined to -keep awake all night, because O’Farrell had warned us that our greatest -difficulty would be to get the “insane look” into our eyes, and our best -chance was to dull them with lack of sleep. We had expected to face the -doctors immediately on arrival at Haidar Pasha, and had not closed our -eyes the night before. Indeed, our last real sleep had been at Angora on -the 5th May, and it was now the night of the 8th. The beds were -comfortable (it was not yet the bug season), and we were very weary. -There followed for both of us a dreadful struggle against sleep. Time -and again I pulled myself together on the verge of oblivion. I felt I -would give all I possessed, all I hoped for, to be allowed to close my -eyes for ten minutes,—for five,—for one! I began pinching myself, making -the pinches keep time with the snores of a Turk in one of the beds -opposite, but in a little while the noises stopped and I nearly fell -asleep while waiting for the next snore. A rush of feet down the -corridor roused me, and I lay listening to the sound of blows. Then all -was silent again. I did not know at the time what had happened, but I -was to see the same thing happen often enough—it was merely a wandering -lunatic in a neighbouring ward being pounded back to bed by the -attendants. An idea prevails that the mentally deficient are handled -with exceptional gentleness in Mussulman countries. It is erroneous. No -doubt they are believed to be “smitten by Allah,” but followers of the -Prophet are no more patient than other mortals, and if a lunatic “won’t -listen to reason,” orderlies take it out of the poor devil. Before I -left Haidar Pasha I was to see sights and hear sounds that will never, I -fear, leave my memory. The brutalities usually took place at night, and -never when there was a doctor anywhere in the neighbourhood. For the -Turkish doctors at Haidar Pasha were, in the main, humane and educated -gentlemen. There ought to have been a medical man on the spot, night and -day, to prevent the things I saw, and there wasn’t. But that is another -story. - -When things quietened down again I noticed through my peep-hole a shadow -flit past in the dark corridor outside, and disappear beside a large -cupboard. The slight scraping of a chair on the cement floor let me know -that someone had taken a seat. We were being watched. - -This was excellent. It would help to keep me awake. I wondered if Hill -knew, or if he had succumbed to our enemy—sleep. For perhaps half an -hour I lay watching the cupboard, trying to see into the shadows beside -it. Then I got out of bed and began a dazed wandering round the room, as -Doc. had told me to do, peering suspiciously into corners and under the -table and the beds. I heard the soft pad-pad of stockinged feet behind -me and knew the watcher had come to the door. Pretending to have heard -nothing, I went on with my mysterious search till the circuit of the -room was completed. This brought me face to face with the attendant. He -stooped at my bedside, picked up my slippers and handed them to me. -Apparently I might walk about as much as I pleased. I paid no attention -to him, and got back into bed. The attendant returned to his post beside -the cupboard. - -Half an hour later Hill began to pray aloud. It was comforting to know -that he, too, was awake. - -Soon, whispering in the dark corridor told me they were changing guard. -I waited for about an hour, then I got up, and by the light of the -miserable lamp began to write up the _History of my Persecution by the -English_. (I always wrote this at night, after the other patients were -asleep.) The new attendant came in and ordered me back to bed. I -pretended not to understand him and went on writing. He took me by the -arm and dragged me from the table. I managed to bump into Hill’s bed as -I was being taken back to my own. - -After a decent interval Hill was praying again. - -I can remember hearing Hill’s last amen and listening to him bumping his -head (Mohammedan fashion) at the end of the prayer. (He mixed up the -rituals of every creed with a delightful impartiality.) I can remember -pinching myself for what seemed æons, and then plucking at my eyelashes -in an effort to sting myself into wakefulness. I saw the blackness of -the corridor change to a pearly-grey—and after that I knew no more till -I found myself being roughly shaken. - -“_Chorba! Chorba!_” the attendant was saying. He had brought my morning -“soup”—a bowl of hot water with a few lentils floating in it. - -I sat up with a start. It was seven o’clock, and I had slept nearly two -hours. - -I glanced round the ward. Hill was kneeling on his bed, saying his -morning prayers. The man between us was sleeping. In No. 7 bed a -good-looking young fellow was sitting up, watching Hill intently. I was -to come to know this man very well. He was Suleiman Surri, the son of a -Kurdish chieftain and a very gallant soldier. He was perfectly sane, but -his legs were already useless from a disease which entitled him to a -place in the nervous ward and which might, in time, land him in an -asylum. He employed his time in watching us, and was more dangerous than -all the regular attendants put together; for he had an acute and logical -mind, and like all good sportsmen was observant of every detail. This -man reported everything we did to the doctors, and missed nothing. We -bear him no grudge for he was doing his duty as a Turkish officer, and -in his reports he neither exaggerated nor minimized. Indeed, we owe him -a debt of gratitude for many little acts of kindness, not least among -which was his insistence that the other patients should treat our -affliction with the same consideration as they showed to their brother -officers. Suleiman Surri came from Diabekr. He had imbibed no western -“culture,” but he was one of nature’s gentlemen. Courteous, courageous, -and full of a glowing patriotism, he was a man whom any country might be -proud to call her son, and if Turkey has many more like him there is yet -hope for her. - -The other patients in the ward were nearly all either mentally deficient -or epileptics. Few stayed more than a week or two. At the end of a short -period of observation they went off to the asylum, or were given into -the charge of relations or, if they were malingering (we saw plenty of -that before we left), they were sent back to duty—and punishment. - -About 8 o’clock a young doctor came in. He was dressed in the regulation -white overall, and his duty, as we afterwards discovered, was to make a -preliminary examination and diagnosis for submission to his chief. At -his heels, looking decidedly nervous and uncomfortable, trotted our -Pimple. An attendant took me by the arm and led me to the table, facing -the doctor. - -Moïse introduced me: “This is Ihsan Bey.” - -“_Chôk eyi_” (very good), I said, and grasping the doctor’s hand I -pumped it up and down in the manner of one greeting an old friend, as -O’Farrell had told me to do. He grinned, and told me to sit down. - -“The Doctor Bey has a few questions to ask you,” said Moïse. - -“Certainly,” I said. “But first I have something to say to him.” I -launched into a very long and confused story of how I had been deceived -in the dark into believing that the hospital was a hotel, demanded that -the mistake be rectified at once, and that I be taken to the best hotel -in Pera as befitted a friend of Enver Pasha. The Yozgad Commandant, I -said, would be very angry when he knew what Moïse had done, for I was a -person of consequence in Turkey, and was going to see the Sultan. I -would answer no questions until I got to the hotel—and so forth, and so -on. - -The doctor explained that this was the usual procedure—everybody who -wanted to see Enver Pasha had to be examined first on certain points. I -then told him to fire away with his questions. - -He consulted a bulky file of documents (amongst which I noticed the -report of Kiazim Bey) and began filling up the regulation hospital form. - -“Your name,” he said, writing busily, “is Jones, lieutenant of -Artillery.” - -“No,” I said, “that’s wrong! If that’s for Enver Pasha it won’t do! My -name _used_ to be Jones, but I’ve changed it. I’m going to be a Turk,—a -Miralai first and then a Pasha.” - -“I see,” said Ihsan. “What’s your name now?” - -“Hassan _oghlou_ Ahmed Pasha,” said I earnestly.[51] - -“Very well, Hassan _oghlou_ Ahmed, what diseases have you had?” said -Ihsan, smiling in spite of himself. - -“What the deuce has that to do with Enver Pasha?” I expostulated. -“There’s no infection about _me_, unless I picked up something in your -beastly bath last night.” I began a complaint about the state of the -hospital bathroom, but was interrupted. - -“I must know,” Ihsan said. - -“Measles, scarlet fever, whooping cough—is that enough?” - -“No—I want them all.” - -“Malaria, ague, dengue fever, black-water fever, enteric, paratyphoid, -dysentery,” I said. - -“Have you ever had syphilis?” the doctor asked. This was the disease he -expected me to name. The examination was proceeding exactly on the lines -O’Farrell had foretold, and I knew what to do. I hung my head and began -picking nervously at the hem of my nightgown-shirt. - -“Come,” he went on. “You’ve had it, have you not?” - -“I’ve had pneumonia and pleurisy,” I said, picking away more furiously -than ever. - -“Never mind about the other things,—I want to know about syphilis.” - -“Why?” I asked. - -“I want to find out why you are ill.” - -“But I’m not ill!—Don’t be silly!” - -“You’ve got to tell me,” he said sternly. - -I remained silent. - -“Enver Pasha is very particular about this question,” Ihsan went on in -an encouraging tone. “Come now.” - -“When I was about eighteen,” I began shamefacedly—and stopped. - -“Yes! When you were about eighteen?” - -“Nothing!” I said, with sudden resolution, “nothing at all! I was very -well when I was eighteen! And what’s more, I think you are very -insulting to ask such a question. I don’t believe Enver Pasha cares two -whoops whether I’ve had syphilis or not. I am sure you have no right to -ask me such a thing! I’ll report you for it!” In my pretended excitement -my straining fingers ripped a large piece out of my nightgown-shirt. (I -was to destroy many more of those elegant garments before we were done -with Haidar Pasha.) The doctor calmed me down. - -“There now!” he said soothingly. “You needn’t say it. What treatment did -you undergo?” - -“When?” - -“When you were eighteen—when you had syphilis, you know.” - -“There you go again!” I roared. “I tell you I never had it! You lie and -you lie and you lie! You are in the pay of the English! You all say the -same, and you all lie! It’s a plot, I know it is, and you’re going to -lock me up again, so that I’ll never see the Sultan, and shove needles -into me, and inject things into me like that fool M——[52] did, and keep -me locked up for months and months, all on the excuse that I’ve got -syphilis, and I _haven’t_, I tell you I _haven’t_, I tell you it’s a -lie, and you’ll have to admit it, as M—— had to admit it, and let me go -again as he had to let me go, and then I’ll have you all hanged, every -man jack of you, along with Baylay....” - -I raved on and on, bringing in the name of M—— at frequent intervals. - -At length Ihsan managed to calm me down again and proceeded with his -questions. - -“Say these figures—4, 7, 9, 6, 5, 3.” - -“What fool game are you at now?” I asked. “Why should I say them?” - -“Because you must!” Ihsan said sharply. - -“Why?” I persisted. - -“I want to see if you can repeat them after me. I’m testing your memory -for Enver Pasha.” - -“All right, say ’em again, and I’ll repeat them.” - -In order to give me the same figures the young doctor had to consult his -notes. (He was writing down each question as he asked it.) - -“There you are!” I jeered. “You’ve forgotten them yourself!” - -He grinned a little sheepishly, and gave me the figures again. - -“That’s quite simple,” I said, and repeated them correctly. “Any fool -can do that! Now, talking of figures, there’s funny things about -figures. For instance, take the figure 9, you’ll find everything goes by -nines. Look!—there’s nine panes in that window, there’s nine people on -your side of the room, there’s nine beds in the ward (that one by itself -at the end doesn’t count) and there’s nine Muses, and nine——” - -“Never mind about nine,” said Ihsan, “repeat these figures, 8, 4, 3, 7, -5.” - -“That’s too easy,” I said. “I’ll tell you what—I’ll multiply those -figures by 25 in my head. Can _you_ do that?” - -“Never mind about multiplying them—just say them.” - -“You can’t do it,” I jeered, “and I can! The answer is 2109375.” - -“Repeat the original figures,” said Ihsan. - -“I won’t!” I said. “I’ve multiplied them by 25—2109375—and done it in my -head, and that should be good enough for Enver Pasha or anyone else. -Test my answer if you like!” - -Just to humour me he did, and found to his amazement I was correct; -(every English schoolboy knows the trick of adding two noughts and -dividing by four). Before he had time to recover from his surprise I -went on. - -“I’m clever enough for anybody! I know all about figures. See here! -Here’s a question for you; supposing the head of a fish weighs nine -_okkas_ and the tail weighs as much as the head and half the body, and -the body weighs as much as the head and tail put together, what is the -weight of the fish? Or would you prefer a puzzle about monkeys? I know -about monkeys too, for I’ve been in India and——” - -“Never mind about monkeys and fish,” Ihsan interrupted. “Tell me, do you -ever see visions?” - -“Oh yes!” I said. “That’s spiritualism. I’ve got the spook-board -downstairs in the depot.” - -Moïse corroborated my statement, and referred the doctor to some -passages in the file, which he read with interest. For some time the two -men talked together in Turkish. - -“Tell me about these spirits,” Ihsan said at last. - -“No fear!” I replied. “Hill and I were caught out that way in Yozgad. -I’m not going to be imprisoned for telepathy again. Two months on bread -and water is quite enough, thank you!” - -I refused to say a word about spirits or visions, knowing that Moïse -would supply the doctors with the information required. He did, and told -all about the telepathy trial. - -“Well,” Ihsan went on, “do you ever smell smells that are not there?” - -“There are plenty of real smells in Turkey,” I said, “without worrying -about the ones that are not there. Why on earth are you wasting my time -with these asinine questions? Let’s get to the War Office without any -more of this foolery.” - -Ihsan laughed, and asked why I wanted to go to the War Office. I leant -forward confidentially and told him I had a plan for finishing the war -in a week, and once I got to Enver Pasha I’d blow England sky high. I -was working at the scheme now, Hill was my engineer and designer—and -very soon everything would be completed. I talked on and on about my new -aeroplane that would carry 10,000 men, and the coming invasion of -England by air. - -“Why do you hate the English?” Ihsan asked. - -I went into an involved and excited account of my “persecution”—of how -Baylay had tried to poison me, and of how my father, mother and wife -sent me poisoned food in parcels from England. Ihsan had to interrupt me -again. - -“Why did you try to commit suicide?” he asked. - -“I didn’t,” I said. - -“You hanged yourself at Mardeen.” - -“That’s a lie!” I roared. “A dirty lie! And I know who told you!” - -“Who was it?” - -“It was that little swine Moïse,” I said, pointing at the unhappy -Interpreter. “He’s been telling everybody. I expect he’s been bribed by -the English. Yes! That’s it! Baylay must have paid him money to get me -into trouble! He’ll do anything for money. Don’t you believe him! He’s -not a Turk—he’s a dirty Jew, and the biggest liar in Asia. I never -hanged myself!” - -Ihsan laughed and Moïse looked uncomfortable. (I must admit it was -unpleasant for him to have to translate these things about himself.) - -“Look at him!” I said. “He knows what I am going to say next, and he is -afraid. He stole all our money on the way to Angora. Arrest him for it! -I tell you he is in league with the English. Arrest him and hang him!” - -“You are mad, my friend,” said Ihsan. “You are mad. That’s what’s the -matter with you!” - -I stared at him, open-mouthed. - -“I’m a specialist,” he went on, “and I know. You’re mad!” - -“I don’t know whether you are a specialist or not,” I said angrily, “but -I do know you are a most phenomenal liar. I am no more mad than you are. -This is a plot, that’s what it is, and you are all in league against me. -You are jealous of me—that’s what’s the matter—jealous of me. You know -my brain is better a tenfold, a hundredfold, a thousand million -millionfold, than yours, and you are jealous! You know I am rich and -great and powerful and you are jealous. So you say I am mad. How _dare_ -you say I am mad without even examining me?” - -“I’ve been examining you all along,” said Ihsan, laughing. “Go back to -bed.” - -“I won’t!” I said. “I must put this right”—an orderly took me by the arm -but I shook him off. “Look here!” I expostulated, “let me explain! I’m -sorry I said you were jealous—I see it all now. Let me explain. I see it -all now. Let me explain, will you?” - -Ihsan Bey signed to the orderly to leave me alone, and I continued. - -“I’m not mad. You are puzzled in the same way that M—— was puzzled. You -are making this mistake _because_ you’re a specialist, that’s what it -is. You specialists are all the same. I’m a strong man, strong enough to -fight any six men in this room. I’ve got a heart like a sledgehammer. -I’m sound all through. But if I went to a heart specialist he would find -something wrong with my heart, and if I went to a stomach specialist -_he’d_ find something wrong with my stomach, and if I went to a liver -specialist _he’d_ find something wrong with my liver. You are all the -same, you doctors. Because _you_ happen to be a brain specialist you say -there’s something wrong with my brain. That’s what it is, and you’re a -liar! I’m _not_, NOT mad!” - -I began to rave again and was taken off to bed by the orderlies. Ihsan -Bey came and stood beside me. He had a tiny silver-plated hammer, capped -with rubber, in his hand. With this he went over my reflexes, hastily at -first and then more and more carefully. He took a needle and tried the -soles of my feet, the inside of my thighs, and my stomach reflexes. He -paid special attention to my pupils. Then he stood up, scratched his -head, and after gazing at me for a moment rushed out into the corridor -and brought in a second doctor—Talha Bey. Together they read over my -“deposition” and together they went over my reflexes, again. Both men -were obviously well up in their work, and I made no effort to hold back -my knee jerks or other reflexes for I had been warned by O’Farrell that -concealment against a competent doctor was hopeless. So all the -responses had been normal, and Ihsan and Talha, who were both convinced -from my “history” and my answers that I must have had syphilis, were -hopelessly puzzled by the absence of the physical symptoms they expected -to find. They consulted together for some time and then Talha came and -sat down by me. - -He was a clever youth, and should get on in the world. He began by -talking about India. A little later he said I appeared to have suffered -much from the climate—dysentery and malaria and so on. I admitted that -was so, and chatted away quite frankly and pleasantly. Then he talked -about microbes and asked if the doctors in India were as clever as the -Constantinople doctors, and knew about combating diseases by injections. -I said they did. He pretended surprise and disbelief—how did I know?—had -they ever given me injections? - -I saw what the sly fellow was after, and pretended to walk straight into -his trap. O’Farrell had coached me very thoroughly. - -“Oh yes!” I said. “I’ve had plenty of injections! You’ve come to the -right man if you want to know about injections. I had a regular course -of them once.” - -“How interesting,” said Talha. “Where did they inject you?” - -“In the thigh,” I said. “First one thigh and then the other. A sort of -grey stuff it was.” - -“Not more than once, surely!” he said, with pretended surprise. - -“Oh yes,” I said. “Every week for about six weeks, and then a spell off, -and then every week for another six weeks, and so on, and then I had to -take pills for two years. I know all about injections, you bet.” - -“Dear me!” said Talha, “what a curious treatment! What was that for, I -wonder?” - -I managed to look confused, stammered a little, plucked nervously at the -hem of my nightgown, and then brightened up suddenly and said, -“Malaria!—yes, that was it! Malaria!” - -Talha smiled and left me. He thought he had got the admission he wanted, -for I had described the treatment for syphilis. - - - - - CHAPTER XXVIII - - OF THE WASSERMANN TESTS AND HOW WE DECEIVED THE - MEDICAL BOARD - - -Hill’s examination followed. It was much shorter, for Hill’s conduct was -in every way the antithesis of mine. He answered each question with a -gloomy brevity, and never spoke unless spoken to. The questions asked -were much the same as those put later to him by Mazhar Osman Bey in the -interview which I quote below, but at this preliminary examination Hill -denied the hanging. I could not hear what was said, for they spoke in -low tones; in the middle of it I saw Ihsan grab Hill’s wrist, but the -phenacetin was doing its work and his pulse revealed nothing. Once Hill -wept a little, and several times while Ihsan and Moïse were talking -together in Turkish he opened his Bible in a detached sort of way and -went on with his eternal reading. His face throughout was puckered and -lined with woe. How he kept up that awful expression through all the -months that followed I do not know. But he did it, and from first to -last I never saw him look anything like his natural happy self. At the -close of his examination he was taken back to bed and Ihsan ran over his -reflexes in the ordinary way. Then the doctors left the room. - -An hour later the orderly on duty called out, “_Doctor Bey geldi!_” (the -Doctor has come) and every patient in the ward, except Hill, sat up in -an attitude of respect. A little procession entered. At its head was the -chief doctor, Mazhar Osman Bey. Behind him followed his two juniors, -Ihsan and Talha, in their white overalls, and behind them a motley crowd -of students and orderlies, the latter carrying trays of instruments -which the great man might need on his rounds. - -Mazhar Osman was a stout, well-dressed, well-set-up man of about 40 -years of age, with a jovial and most confoundedly intelligent face. He -spoke French and German as easily as Turkish, and was in every way a -highly educated and accomplished man. In his profession he had the -reputation of being the greatest authority on mental diseases in Eastern -Europe. As we discovered later, he was Berlin trained, had studied in -Paris and Vienna, and was the author of several books on his -subject,[53] some of which we were told had been translated into German, -and were regarded as standard works. It is of course impossible for a -layman to judge the real professional merit of a doctor, but this Hill -and I can say: during our stay in Constantinople we were examined at -various times by some two score medical men—Turks, Germans, Austrians, -Dutch, Greek, Armenian, and British. We were subjected to all sorts of -traps and tests and questions. There is no doubt we were often -suspected, especially by those who were ignorant of our full “medical -history,” but nobody inspired us with such a fear of detection, or with -such a feeling that he knew all about his business, as Mazhar Osman Bey. - -He seemed hardly to glance at Hill as he made his round. I found out -afterwards that it was a favourite trick of his to leave his patients -alone for several days after their arrival—but when he got to my bed he -stopped, and stood looking at me in silence for some time. Then he put -his hand on my heart. It was quite steady. - -“I suppose,” I said gloomily, “you are a _heart_ specialist.” Moïse -translated, and Mazhar Osman laughed, showing he knew of my tirade -against specialists, and asked me why I looked so cross. I complained -bitterly that Ihsan Bey had said I was mad and was keeping me there -against my will. - -“Ihsan Bey does not understand you,” said Mazhar Osman; “you must learn -to speak Turkish.” - -“I will,” I said enthusiastically, “I’ll learn it in a month.” (And I -did!) “I’ll also learn every other language in the world.”[54] - -Mazhar Osman smiled again, and said something in Turkish to the gaping -crowd of students. Then he examined my reflexes, gave an order to his -subordinates, and left the room. - -Soon after, I learned what the order had been. Ihsan and Talha came back -and announced they were going to take my blood and draw off some of my -spinal fluid. I had hoped these tests might be omitted, for they would -show beyond doubt that I had no syphilitic infection, and I feared that -this might prove the first step in the detection of my simulation. But -these men were leaving nothing to chance. They were convinced I had -syphilis, and were going to prove it, and they said so. If I wouldn’t -admit to having suffered from the disease I must submit to the test. - -It was too dangerous to make such an admission, for they might—probably -would—carry on with the tests in spite of me, and so prove me a liar. My -object was to tell the truth in such a way that they would think it a -lie. - -“I protest,” I said. “I have never had syphilis.” - -“Your blood and your spinal fluid will prove who is right,” Ihsan -grinned. - -“There’s nothing wrong with either,” I said indignantly. So far I had -told the truth. Now was the time to add a lie which they couldn’t -possibly detect, and which would puzzle them later on. “Both were tested -in England by M——, so I know. I’ll tell you what, though, if you are so -certain about it, will you bet?” - -“Certainly,” said Talha—I think he hoped to make a little money!—“how -much would you like to bet?” - -“Oh, say a hundred thousand pounds,” said I. - -Talha cut it down to a hundred. I submitted gleefully to the test, and -while they drew blood from my arm I babbled away about how sorry they -would be when they had to pay up, and how I had won money from M—— in -the same way. Then they tackled my spine. I saw an orderly blow down the -hollow needle and wipe it on the back of his breeches before handing it -over to the doctors, and it nearly gave me a fit. If it had not been for -Hill I think I would have given in and confessed, for I dreaded -infection. I knew enough about needles to be in mortal terror of a dirty -one. I believe I gave a start, or looked frightened, for orderlies -pounced upon me and held me down in the required position. The student -who was practising his prentice hand on me made two boss shots before he -hit the bull. It was altogether beastly. - -The report of the bacteriologist, of course, stated everything was -healthy and normal. I danced with simulated joy, jeered at Ihsan and -Talha, called loudly, day after day, for my hundred pounds and demanded -to be sent forthwith to Enver Pasha. Ihsan and Talha went through -another head-scratching competition. I have never seen two men more -interested or more fogged. Meantime Hill was being left sedulously -alone—a treatment quite as trying to the nerves of the malingerer as -what I had been through. He knew quite well that though no one went near -him he was under observation every minute of the twenty-four hours. - -On the 13th May, five days after our admission into hospital, they held -a Board on our cases. I was examined on much the same lines as on the -first occasion, except that they pestered me a good deal more about the -hanging, which I continued to deny. They also questioned me about Hill. -There was in our kit (it was put there purposely for them to find) the -following cutting from the Constantinople paper _Hilal_ of June 1st, -1916: - - “_Un aviateur Anglais à Damas._ - -“Le journal ‘El Chark’ de Damas écrit: L’aviateur Australien Hol faisant -son service dans l’armée anglais, a pris son vol de Kantara près du -Canal, et a survolé le désert pour faire des reconnaissances. Une panne -survenue en cours de route l’obligea à atterir. - -“Quelques habitants du désert out accouru sur les lieux pour le -capturer, mais il opposa une résistance acharnée qui a duré six heures. -Finalement il a dû se rendre. Cet aviateur a été amené à Damas.” - -From the fact that Mazhar Osman Bey began to question me about Hill’s -capture I gathered they had found the cutting, and that their interest -had been roused, as we hoped would be the case. I replied that all I -knew about it was that the Arabs had knocked him on the head so that he -became unconscious. (This was quite untrue, as the Arabs did Hill no -injury, but O’Farrell had said that a bump on the head would be a good -“point” in Hill’s medical history. It certainly created an impression on -the doctors, for there was a good deal of whispering after I mentioned -it.) Mazhar Osman Bey then asked what I thought of Hill—and I think he -hoped I would say he was mad. I replied he was my engineer and was -designing me an aeroplane to carry 10,000 men, and I would make 3,000 -such aeroplanes and would invade England with 30,000,000 men, etc., -etc., etc. I was interrupted and told to go, and after another appeal to -be sent to Enver Pasha and to be made a Turkish officer on the grounds -that my blood test, etc., had proved me sane, I went. - -Hill was then called in. The following is his description of what -occurred: - -“After about ten minutes Jones came out and I was led in. It was a small -room, and choc-à-bloc with doctors of all sizes. There was a stool in -front of the head doctor (Mazhar Osman Bey) on which I was invited to -sit down. He spoke to me through the Interpreter, who stood beside me. - -[Illustration: THE MAD MACHINE FOR UPROOTING ENGLAND] - -“I had thorough ‘wind up,’ my nerves being already upset from the first -strenuous five days, but pretended to be frightened at finding myself -amongst so many strangers. I fingered the Bible nervously, opening it -every now and then. The conversation ran something as follows: - -DOCTOR. “What is the book you are always reading?” - -HILL. “The Bible.” - -DOCTOR. “Why do you read it so much?” - -HILL. “It is the only hope in this wicked world. Don’t you read the -Bible?” - -DOCTOR. “Who are you that you should call the whole world wicked—are you -a priest?” - -HILL. “No.” - -DOCTOR. “What religion do you believe in?” - -HILL. “I believe in all religions. There is only one God.” - -DOCTOR. “Have any of your people suffered from insanity?” - -HILL. “No.” (To Moïse) “Why does he ask me that?” - -MOÏSE: “It is for your own good.” - -DOCTOR. “What illnesses have you had?” - -HILL. “I have had typhoid.” - -DOCTOR. “Anything else?” - -HILL. “I had fits when I was young. At least my people said they were -fits, but I don’t think they were fits.” (This of course was a -lie—O’Farrell’s instructions again.) - -DOCTOR. “What were they like?” - -HILL. “I used to fall down. I don’t remember what happened after that.” - -DOCTOR. “Why did you try to hang yourself?” - -HILL. “I didn’t!” - -DOCTOR. “But Moïse saw you!” - -HILL. “No, I didn’t!” - -DOCTOR. “Did you do this drawing of a machine[55] for Jones?” - -HILL. “Yes, but there is no sense in it and it is wicked.” - -DOCTOR. “Why did you do it?” - -HILL. “Because Jones told me to.” - -DOCTOR. “Why do you do what Jones tells you?” - -HILL. “Because he is very wicked, and I want to convert him. He has -promised to be converted if I do what he wants.”[56] - -DOCTOR. “Did you know Jones before the war, or what he did?” - -HILL. “No. I think he was a Judge in Burma.” - -DOCTOR. “Do you know what this place is?” - -HILL. “I think it is a hospital.” - -DOCTOR. “Do you know what all these people are?” - -HILL. “I think they are doctors.” - -DOCTOR. “Do you know what disease you have?” - -HILL. “I have no disease. There is nothing the matter with me.” - -(A murmur went through the crowd of doctors.) - -DOCTOR. “Why did you try to commit suicide?” - -HILL. “I didn’t!” - -DOCTOR. “But Moïse saw you hanging.” - -HILL. “I didn’t. It is very wicked.” - -DOCTOR. “It is very wicked to tell lies.” - -HILL (looking very ashamed). “Yes.” - -DOCTOR. “It is very wicked to try and commit suicide, but sometimes -people feel they don’t want to live any more.” (Hill, fidgeting -nervously and looking more ashamed than ever, nodded.) “You did try and -hang yourself, didn’t you? I know you are a very religious man, and will -tell me the truth.” - -HILL (after thinking for a long time, looking very ashamed, whispered) -“Yes.” - -DOCTOR. “Why?” - -HILL (crying). “Jones was going to, and I didn’t want to live without -Jones.” - -MOÏSE. “The doctor thanks you very much. That is all.” - -At the first opportunity Hill told me he had admitted the hanging. (He -had denied it at his first examination.) - -“If they confront me with you and your admission,” I said, “I think the -right line would be for me to bash you on the jaw. Will you mind?” - -“Carry on,” said Hill. - -“I’ll have to hit pretty hard and pretty quick.” - -“Right-o!” said Hill. - -But the assault was never necessary. Although the doctors tried in many -ways to get me to admit having attempted suicide, they never told me -that Hill had confessed. I think they were afraid of the consequences -for Hill. - -Later in the same day a lady came to see us. She was accompanied by the -_Sertabeeb_ (Superintendent of the Hospital). She was Madame Paulus, of -the Dutch Embassy, and Heaven knows it went bitterly against the grain -to deceive her and wring her woman’s heart with our senseless gabble, -but under the circumstances we had no choice. - -“I have come from the Dutch Embassy,” she said. “I always come to see -sick prisoners.” - -Hill glanced up from his Bible. “I am not sick,” he said surlily. - -“No,” I chimed in, “he’s not sick. He’s always like that. And I’m not -sick either. They are keeping us here against our wills. I belong to the -Turkish War Office, and I’m going to have a Turkish uniform. Tell them -to let us go—I say!” (in alarm) “you are not English, are you?” - -“I speak English,” said Madame Paulus gently, “but I am not English. I -come from Holland. Do you know where that is, Mr. Hill?” - -Hill nodded slightly, but went on reading his Bible. - -“Oh, won’t you talk to me?” she begged. - -“I don’t want to talk,” he said sourly. - -“_I’ll_ talk to you,” I cried enthusiastically; “come over here. Don’t -bother about him—he’s always like that. Come and talk to me.” I called -to an orderly to bring a chair and set it by my bed, but nobody paid any -attention to me except the _Sertabeeb_, who spotted the symptom and -smiled. - -“Why don’t you want to talk, Mr. Hill?” Madame Paulus went on. - -“It is wicked to talk unnecessarily,” Hill growled. - -“Oh no, it isn’t. I see you are reading the Bible. It is a very good -book to read, and I am sure it does not say it is wicked to talk. Jesus -used to talk.” - -“Some of the Bible is wrong,” said Hill. “I’m going to re-write it.” - -“Dear! Dear!” said Madame Paulus, sympathetically. She turned to me. - -“Here are some flowers and chocolate I brought you from the Embassy.” - -“Are you sure they are not from the English? Are you certain they are -not poisoned?” I cried. After much persuasion I was prevailed on to -accept them. (As soon as she had gone I threw away the chocolate, saying -she was an English spy and it was poisoned. Some of the Turks retrieved -and devoured it.) - -“Here are some beautiful flowers for you, Mr. Hill,” the gentle lady -went on. - -Hill went on reading. - -“Oh, won’t you take them? Won’t you put them in water? I brought them -for you because I thought you would like them.” She put them into Hill’s -hand. He glanced at them without showing the slightest interest and went -on reading. - -“There,” she said, soothingly. “But you must put them in water, you -know, or they will die.” - -“I have nothing to put them in,” said Hill. “It was wicked to pick -them.” - -Madame Paulus got a glass from another patient. Hill stuffed the flowers -into it, anyhow, and turned back to his Bible. - -“Do you like chocolate?” - -“Yes,” said Hill. - -“Well, here is some I brought you from the Embassy.” - -Hill took it and went on reading. - -“Won’t you eat it?” Madame Paulus asked. - -“Not to-day.” - -“Why not to-day?” she cried, and then—noticing Hill’s breakfast and -lunch standing untouched on the table by his bed, “Oh! Why haven’t you -eaten your food?” - -“It is wicked to eat much,” said Hill, “I am fasting to-day.” - -“Oh, dear! dear! When will you eat it?” - -“When I have done fasting,” Hill sighed. - -“When will that be?” - -“After forty days,” said Hill, very mournfully. “Jesus used to fast for -forty days.” - -With a little gesture of despair Madame Paulus turned to me. - -“May I write to your relatives?” she asked. “They would like to know how -you are.” - -“No!” I said, in a frightened voice. “No! certainly not! They want to -kill me. Don’t tell them where I am. They hate me.” - -“Oh no! no! No mother ever hated her son. You must give me her address -so that I may write. Are you married?” - -“Yes,” I said, “I am. But my wife is the worst of the bunch. She puts -poison in my parcels, and I’m going to divorce her, that’s what I’m -going to do. I’m going to divorce the whole crowd of them, wife, mother, -father—every one of them, and be a Turk, for they are all bad, bad, -bad!” (I burst into tears.) - -Madame Paulus wrung her hands. She was very nearly in tears herself, -poor lady, and I hated the whole business. She turned to the -_Sertabeeb_. - -“_Il dit qu’il va divorcer sa femme!_” she cried. - -“_C’est comme ça, cette maladie_,” the _Sertabeeb_ said, -sympathetically. - -Madame Paulus and the _Sertabeeb_ conversed together in low tones—I -could not catch what was said—and then she turned to Hill. - -“You will be going home soon,” she said. “Will you like that? All sick -prisoners are going home in July.” - -Our hearts leapt within us. This was the first news we had had of a -general exchange of sick prisoners. But we had to keep it up. I could -see the _Sertabeeb_ was watching us keenly—as we discovered later, he -knew a little English. - -“I am not sick,” said Hill. - -“You are both to be sent home in July. Don’t you want to be sent home?” - -“I don’t care.” Hill’s voice sounded full of sadness. “There is plenty -to do in Turkey.” - -“What are you going to do?” - -“I am going to convert the Turks first. Then I will go to England.” - -“But don’t you want to see your father and mother? And your sisters and -brothers?” - -“I don’t care! They are all sinners—poor lost sheep—but they do not need -me more than the people I see about me. I’ll convert the Turks first.” - -“Oh, dear! You shouldn’t say that. What does the Fifth Commandment say?” - -“‘Honour thy father and thy mother.’” - -“Yes. Then why don’t you follow the Bible?” - -I thought Hill was getting into a hot corner, and that a counter-attack -was necessary. - -“Here! I say!” I called. “You’re not thinking of sending _me_ to -England, are you?” - -“Don’t you want to go?” she asked. - -“Don’t you know Lloyd George wants to kill me?” I asked, excitedly. “I -thought you knew that! Everybody knows he hates me, and it is all -Baylay’s fault.” Once on the subject of good old Baylay I could keep -going like a Hyde Park orator, and I did. - -Madame Paulus made one more effort to get my home address and failed. -She succeeded better with Hill—he gave her some address in Australia. - -“Shall I give your mother your love, Mr. Hill?” she asked. - -“If you like,” Hill answered, without looking up from his Bible. - -“But don’t you want to send your love?” - -“I don’t care.” - -“Oh, dear, dear me!” - -The dear lady went away almost in tears. She had tried so hard, and had -shown such a fine courage in that ward full of crazed men, and she -thought it had all been in vain—that she could do nothing for us. It was -hateful to let her go away like that, deceived and unthanked. Little she -guessed what joy she had brought us. For all unwittingly she had given -us the one piece of news for which we pined—we were to go Home—and in -July! I know that Madame Paulus cheered many a sick prisoner in -Constantinople, but never did she leave behind her two more grateful men -than her lunatics of Haidar Pasha. - -Before entering the hospital we had arranged with Moïse a code of -signals by which he was to let us know what the doctors thought of our -malady. If they thought we were shamming, he was to shake hands with us -on saying good-bye. If they were not sure he was to bow to us. If they -believed us mad, he was to salute. Hitherto he had bowed his way out, -and left us each day with anxious hearts. But on the morning following -the Board Meeting and the visit of Madame Paulus he drew himself up in -the doorway, clicked his heels, and saluted us both, in turn. - -So far, then, all was well. - - - - - CHAPTER XXIX - - OF HILL’S TERRIBLE MONTH IN GUMUSH SUYU HOSPITAL - - -Hill and I braced ourselves for the six weeks of acting that lay between -us and July. We were under no delusions as to the cause of our success -so far. Our acting had no doubt been good, but we knew quite well that -by itself it would have availed us little. The decision of the doctors -had been based on our “medical history,” as edited by the Spook and -presented to them in the reports of the Commandant, the Pimple, the -sentries Bekir and Sabit, and the two Turkish doctors of Yozgad. - -We have no desire to injure, by our story, the deservedly high -professional reputation of Mazhar Osman Bey. We would very much regret -such a result, and it would indeed be a poor return for the unfailing -courtesy and the gentlemanly consideration that was always shown us by -him and indeed by nearly all the doctors of Haidar Pasha Hospital. For -to them we were not enemy subjects but patients on the same footing as -Turkish officers, to be tested for malingering and treated in exactly -the same way as their fellow countrymen. It is only fair to them to say -that we attribute our success not so much to our acting as to the manner -in which, under O’Farrell’s directions, and with the aid of the Spook, -our case was presented. - -The evidence Mazhar Osman Bey had to consider was the following: - - 1.—The reports of Major Osman and Captain Suhbi Fahri of Yozgad. - (Chapter XXI.) - - 2.—The telegraphic and written reports (dictated by the Spook) from - Kiazim Bey, Commandant of Yozgad, in which he stated as a fact - that we had been regarded as “eccentric” by our comrades for two - years, and that our illnesses had been gradually developing - throughout our captivity. (Chapter XXII.) - - 3.—Our spiritualistic and telepathic record. - - 4.—The attempted suicide at Mardeen, which was vouched for by the - magistrates and police of the town, by the hotel-keeper and by a - number of independent witnesses in addition to Moïse and the - sentries, but denied by me, and only very reluctantly admitted - by Hill. - - 5.—The Pimple’s diary of our conduct, apparently a straight-forward - record of events kept by order of his superior officer, Kiazim, - for the use of the doctors, but really a record of our acting, - edited by the Spook. - - 6.—The answers of the Pimple to questions set him. Owing to - O’Farrell’s help, the Spook had been able to foresee every - single question that was asked, and the Pimple had been - thoroughly tutored in his replies. - - 7.—Our mad letters to the Sultan, Enver Pasha, etc., the mad drawings - of the Island Uprooter, and of the gigantic aeroplane, and the - other documentary evidence of insanity found (apparently - concealed) in our possession. - -All this evidence was brought forward by the Turkish authorities -themselves, who had apparently no motive for seeking to prove us insane. -Mazhar Osman Bey was told that the English doctor at Yozgad (O’Farrell) -had tried to prevent us being brought to Constantinople and that he -refused to admit we were suffering from anything more serious than mild -neurasthenia. This certainly did not look like collusion between us and -our own medical man. We ourselves strenuously claimed to be quite well -and contradicted many of the assertions the Pimple made against us. My -resolute denial of the hanging and Hill’s very reluctant admission of it -particularly impressed the doctors. So did my apparently inadvertent -admission of previous incarceration in an asylum under M—— (another -suggestion of O’Farrell’s), and subsequent denial of all knowledge of -M——. - -The position, so far as Mazhar Osman Bey could see, was that the Turks -were trying to prove us mad while we were both anxious to be considered -sane. He had not the vestige of a reason for disbelieving any of the -statements made by the Pimple and the Turkish officials of Yozgad. For -while, in our speech with the doctors, we sought to deny the salient -points in the evidence against us, the whole of our conduct in hospital -was aimed at corroborating the Pimple’s story. The fact that Hill’s -behaviour was so absolutely different from mine was another point in our -favour. The only theory that could hold water at all was that we had -bribed the Turks, but against such a theory was first the large number -of people who had given evidence against us and second the Commandant’s -apparently hostile conduct towards us at Yozgad—Mazhar Osman knew we had -been “imprisoned on bread and water” for telepathy. - -Only a medical man can decide whether or not the evidence of the Turks -and our answers in the preliminary examinations justified Mazhar Osman -Bey in being predisposed to a belief in our insanity. We ourselves -believed then, and we still believe, that so long as we could avoid -traps and keep up our acting on the lines O’Farrell had dictated, no -doctor on earth could prove we were malingering. And we had one -tremendous asset on our side: Mazhar Osman was too busy a man to be able -to devote much of his time to observing us. We never avoided him—indeed -I did rather the reverse, and used to rush up to him on every possible -occasion—but except for what he saw of us during his morning visit he -had to depend on the reports of his subordinates. Had things been -otherwise, we think we would have been “caught out,” but as it was we -had to deal mainly with men who believed their Chief infallible, and who -knew of his inclination to consider us mad. That knowledge probably -affected their judgment and their powers of observation. - -Our task was “to keep it up” until the exchange steamer arrived. It was -a desperate time for both of us. We were watched night and day. We knew -that a single mistake would spoil everything for both. The junior -doctors (acting no doubt under instructions from Mazhar Osman), set -traps for us, tested us in various ways, and reported the results. We -did not take it all lying down. In order to find out what they thought -from time to time, and how the wind was blowing, we in our turn set -traps for the junior doctors.[57] - -In my own case the doctors began by suspecting General Paralysis of the -Insane, a disease commonly due to syphilis. I knew the diagnosis was -bound to be upset by the negative results of the Wassermann tests, and -did not feel at all comfortable until they began showing me off to -visiting doctors as a _rara avis_. What Mazhar Osman Bey’s final -diagnosis was I never discovered, because it was written on my medical -sheet in technical language, and my small Turkish dictionary did not -contain the words used; but I think from the interest shown in me by -students and strange doctors, it was something pretty exceptional. I -also think that for a long time Mazhar Osman Bey was not a little -dubious about it. Indeed I believe that out of the kindness of his -heart—for he was a kindly and humane man—he decided to risk his -professional reputation rather than do me a possible injustice, and gave -me the benefit of the doubt. - -About Hill, I think none of the real experts were ever in two minds. He -was quite an ordinary case of acute Religious Melancholia. But he went -through a terrible month in Gumush Suyu Hospital, where the treatment -meted out to him by the doctors there was such as nearly killed him. To -all appearances Hill was a genuine melancholic, or he could never have -deceived men like Mazhar Osman Bey, Helmi Bey, Chouaïe Bey, and our own -British doctors, as he did. Yet, merely because he was a prisoner of -war, these doctors at Gumush Suyu jumped to the conclusion that he must -be malingering, and on this supposition they treated him not as an -ordinary malingerer is treated, but with a cruelty that was -unspeakable.[58] That they took no trouble to acquaint themselves with -the history of his case may be excused on the ground that it was -ordinary Turkish slackness, though it was slackness such as no doctor -should be guilty of. But at this time Hill was not merely a malingering -melancholic. He was genuinely ill from a very severe bout of dysentery, -and was sick almost unto death. The most ordinary microscopic -examination would have revealed the nature of his complaint. Whether the -Gumush Suyu men made it or not I do not know. But this I know: they -showed a callousness and a brutality in their treatment of Hill which -drew violent expostulations from the British patients in the hospital, -and for which the doctors deserve to be horsewhipped. Whatever their -suspicions as to the melancholia may have been, they have no excuse for -their utter neglect of a man who was _obviously_ in the throes of severe -dysentery; they cannot be pardoned for leaving him for days without -medicine or proper diet; and they should answer in Hell for sending him -back by a springless donkey cart to Psamatia Camp (the journey took Hill -five hours) when he was too weak to walk downstairs without assistance. -All these things they did. Captain Alan Bott, then a prisoner-patient in -the hospital, protested vigorously, but in vain, against the cruelty of -that journey. One thing only his protests achieved—the donkey cart. -Without Captain Bott’s assistance Hill would have had no conveyance -whatsoever, and some idea of the man’s condition may be gathered from -the fact that though his normal weight is 12 stone, at this time he -weighed less than 100 lbs. - -It amounts to this: the doctors in charge at Gumush Suyu took advantage -of Hill’s sickness to try to break his spirit by mal-treatment of what -they knew was a genuine disease (dysentery) and by putting his life in -danger. No British doctor—no doctor of any nationality worthy of the -name of doctor—however much he suspected a man, would do such a thing. I -believe a genuine melancholic would have died under their hands. Hill’s -life was saved by the fact that he was not a melancholic and by the care -taken of him by Captain T.W. White, a prisoner-patient in the ward. Hill -confided in White, who smuggled medicine and milk to him, and helped him -in many ways. It was not till after the worst of the dysentery had been -mastered by these means that the Turks began to treat him for it. But -even with White’s help, Hill only just got through alive. On reaching -Psamatia after his terrible journey he nearly collapsed, but he set his -teeth and carried on. He deceived not only the Turkish and the British -doctor[59] there (both of whom were intensely indignant at the treatment -to which he had been subjected) but also the medical representatives of -the Dutch Embassy at Constantinople,[60] and was sent back to Gumush -Suyu and thence a few days later to Haidar Pasha for “proper treatment -by mental specialists” and “to await the exchange boat.” For all their -cruelty the Gumush Suyu doctors were fairly outwitted, and in sending -Hill back for “proper treatment” by mental specialists they admitted not -only defeat but their own black ignorance. - -Hill and I blame no doctor for suspecting us of malingering. Every one -of them had a perfect right to his own opinion. We expected to be “put -through it” and we bear no grudge against any of the doctors—and there -were plenty of them—who tried their legitimate tricks on us. Thus, when -Hill was “fasting,” a thing he often did for days at a time, Mazhar -Osman Bey instructed the attendants to leave his meals standing on the -table by his bedside, and also drugged him to excite his appetite. What -such temptation means to a starving man (even without the drugging) only -those who have themselves starved can guess; but it was a fair, a -perfectly fair and honourable trick. Or again, when Talha Bey offered to -provide me with “an anti-toxin against the poison in my parcels” and -gave me a couple of ounces of ink to drink, I downed it with a smile and -said “I liked it, for it tasted powerful”—didn’t I, Talha? (And I -overheard Talha tell a friend about the “experiment” afterwards, and -express his sorrow for doing it, like the good-hearted fellow he was.) -These, and many things like them, were legitimate tests enough, and all -“in the game.” But to withhold medicine from a man in Hill’s state, to -give him wrong diet, to turn him out of hospital on that wicked journey -and to put his life in danger, as those disgraces to their profession -undoubtedly did at Gumush Suyu—that was unfair and unpardonable. Hill is -twelve stone again to-day. He is not a vindictive man, but I think it -might be advisable for the Gumush Suyu doctors who “treated” him to keep -out of his reach. - -Had we known that our acting was to be kept up not for six weeks but for -_six months_, I think we would have lain down and died. The delay was -not due to any mistake on our part, but to a series of postponements of -the arrival of the exchange ship, due, I believe, to Lord Newton’s -inability to obtain from the Germans a satisfactory “safe conduct” for -the voyage. No doubt the British authorities were right to hold back -until the safety of the ship was assured, but there was not a prisoner -of war in Turkey, sound or sick, who would not have voted cheerfully for -running the gauntlet of the whole German Fleet. - -To Hill and myself the wait seemed interminable. Each postponement was -just short enough to encourage us to “carry on,” and somehow or another -carry on we did. Indeed we had no choice. We dared not confess we were -malingering, because it would have thrown added suspicion on any genuine -cases of madness which might crop up amongst our fellow prisoners, and -the one point in which O’Farrell had neglected to instruct us was how to -“get better” without rousing suspicion. But even had we known how to -“recover” I think we would still have kept it up, for Freedom was our -lode-star. - -It would be easy to fill another volume with the things we saw and did -and suffered during those six months in the mad wards at Haidar Pasha. -My own task was hard enough. I had to be ready to “rave” at a moment’s -notice whenever anyone cared to bring up one of my half-dozen fixed -delusions; I had to suspect poison in my food; get up at all times of -the night to write the _History of my Persecution by the English_ and my -_Scheme for the Abolition of England_; form violent hatreds (Jacques, -the unhappy Jew chemist at Haidar Pasha, used to flee from me in terror -of his life), and equally violent friendships; be grandiose; sleep in -any odd corner rather than in my bed; run away at intervals; be -“sleepless” for a week at a time; invent mad plans and do mad things -without end. I refused to answer to my own name and became either -“Hassan _oghlou_ Ahmed” (Hassan’s lad Ahmed) or “Ahmed Hamdi Pasha,” as -the whim seized me. I wore a most disreputable fez, boasted of being a -Turk, cursed the English, and ran away in terror from every Englishman -who happened along. All the time I talked nothing but Turkish and to all -appearance lived for nothing but to become a Turkish officer. The -biggest criminal in Eastern Europe—Enver Pasha—was my “hero,” and I -fixed a photograph of him above my bed.[61] And every minute of the day -or night I had to be ready for a trap, and have an answer pat on my -tongue for any question that might be asked. Yes! I had a hard task and -a wearing one. - -But hard as my task was it was nothing—it was recreation—compared to -what Hill had to do. For all those terrible six months my companion in -misery sat huddled up on his bed, motionless for hours at a time, crying -if he was spoken to, starving (“fasting” he called it) for long periods, -reading his Bible or his Prayer Book until his eyes gave out (as they -used to do very badly towards the end), then burying his head on his -knees, presenting to all comers a face of utter misery and desolation, -and speaking not at all except to pray. By the end he had read through -the Bible seven times, and could (and did) recite every Prayer in the -Prayer Book by heart. To him one day was exactly like another. The -monotony of it was dreadful and his self-denial in the matter of food -was extraordinary. Partly from this self-imposed starvation and partly -from dysentery, ‘flu’ and maltreatment in Gumush Suyu hospital, he lost -_over five stone_ in weight. His emaciation was terrible to look upon, -for he became a living skeleton; yet still he kept up his acting and his -courage. It was the most wonderful exhibition of endurance, of the -mastery of the mind over the body, I have ever seen. Many a time I have -returned of an evening to the ward, worn out by the unending strain of -my own heartbreaking foolery, and ready to throw up the sponge. Always I -found Hill resolutely sitting in that same forlorn, woe-begone attitude -in which I had left him hours before, and always the sight of him there -renewed my waning courage and steadied me to face at least “one more day -of it.” - -But our doings and sufferings as madmen, and the adventures, grave and -gay, through which we passed when, under the cloak of insanity, we -collected information of military and political interest in the hope -that we would reach England before the end of the war—these things, and -what we learned of the Turks and the Turkish character, are another -story. I must return to the Spook and what happened at Yozgad after our -departure. - - - - - CHAPTER XXX - - IN WHICH WE ARE REPATRIATED AS LUNATICS - - -As has already been told, the War Office promised Moïse his commission -as soon as we reached Constantinople. He asked for, and obtained, a -month’s leave in order to return to Yozgad, nominally to collect his kit -and settle his affairs there, really to find the treasure. He said -good-bye to us about the middle of May. I did not see him again until -July. - -Hill was then doing his month’s “penal servitude” at Gumush Suyu, and I -was alone at Haidar Pasha. Moïse took me out into the garden, where I -was allowed to go with a responsible escort. The Spook had long since -warned him never to talk to me about private matters in the presence of -others. - -“Oh, Jones,” he said as soon as we were alone, “I am distressed to see -you like this. Why, I wonder, is the Spook still keeping you under -control?” - -“I don’t know,” I said. - -“Where is Hill?” - -“He’s dead,” I said. (A visiting doctor had told me this lie, to see how -I would take it, I suppose. I replied, “it was a good job, because Hill -was always bothering me to pray with him,” so he got “no change.” But as -Hill had been very ill when last I saw him I was not sure whether to -believe the story or not, and spent several days in secret misery before -discovering the truth.) - -Poor little Moïse wept. - -“Oh!” he cried. “Everything is going wrong! The third clue is lost! -Price found it—he dug it up in the garden as the Spook said—and he kept -the gold lira (he showed it to me) but alas! he dropped the paper of -instructions some where.” - -“So he found it all right?” I asked. - -“Oh yes. He found it. In a tin, just like the other clues. He told me it -was written in characters that looked like Russian. But he lost it -again. I spent days and days looking for it. I spent two days in the -carpenter’s shop at Posh Castle, searching through the shavings and -rubbish. Price helped me. Then the Cook and I looked through all the -dust-bins, and went carefully over the rubbish dump under the bridge. -But it was gone! Gone! And now Hill is dead!” - -I began to twist my button. - -“Sir?” said Moïse. - -“Hill is _not_ dead,” said the Spook. “Jones thinks he is because the -doctor said so, but Hill is alive, in Gumush Suyu hospital.” - -“Oh, thank you, Sir!” said Moïse. “And may we still find the treasure? -Is the promise for the future still secure?” - -“Everything’s all right,” said the Spook, “and all is my doing. I am -punishing the Commandant—that is why I made Price lose the paper.” - -“What are you punishing him for, Sir?” asked Moïse. - -“For greed and disobedience.” - -“I know!” the Pimple cried. “I thought it might be that as soon as I -heard he had disobeyed instructions. I suppose you are referring to his -digging?” - -“Yes,” said the Spook. “Tell Jones about it, I’m busy.” - -I let go of the button and the Pimple told me of the communication which -had just been received. - -“You know,” he said, “as soon as the Commandant got my letter telling -him the position of the third clue, he decided to dig for it without -waiting for me. The letter said he was to wait for me, by the Spook’s -orders, but he sent the Cook to dig at once. The Cook pretended to the -prisoners in Posh Castle that he was making a drain, and he dug very -hard, but he found nothing.” - -(I could imagine the delight with which Doc., Price, and Matthews had -watched the Cook dig!) - -“Has anything else happened at Yozgad?” I asked. I was wondering if the -Kastamouni Incorrigibles had escaped yet. - -“The Commandant is being very kind to the camp,” Moïse said. “And they -are enjoying much hunting and freedom. Miller sends his love to you. -O’Farrell is very angry because you are in a madhouse, and says you have -nothing but neurasthenia, if that. The Dutch Embassy wrote to Maule -asking for the cause of your illnesses, and a short history of them, and -Maule has replied to them. Would you like to know what he said?” - -“Very much,” I said. - -Here is the letter—the italics are my own, and I have added some -footnotes. - -“TO HIS EXCELLENCY, THE NETHERLANDS AMBASSADOR. - - ”YOZGAD, 31.5.18. - -“SIR, - - “With reference to your No. 2396 S.P., dated 15th May, 1918, I -have the honour to report that Lt. Hill and Lt. Jones were placed in -arrest by the Commandant on March 7th, 1918, _for a breach of the -regulations_.[62] They were confined in a two-storeyed house formerly -occupied by Colonel Chitty’s mess and now Lt.-Col. Moore’s mess. They -had the run of the house but were not allowed to leave it, except to go -for a walk _if they wished to_,[63] but I believe they only once took -advantage of this. They were allowed to take up all their belongings but -were allowed no orderly. Up to _March 17th_[64] their meals were sent -over from the _School House_[65] opposite, but after that date they -cooked for themselves. After _March 26th_[66] when they were allowed to -see him, they were visited every day by Captain O’Farrell, R.A.M.C. They -were also seen by the Chaplain on four occasions. They made no complaint -as to their treatment. _I saw Lt. Hill and Lt. Jones on the morning of -March 7th_[67] and enquired into the case, _and as in my opinion the -Commandant was perfectly justified in his action_[68] _I took no steps -in the matter_.[69] They both then appeared to be perfectly sane. For -the last year both these officers have been going in strongly for mental -telepathy, and I believe after being placed in arrest they continued to -do so. - -”_On April 5th_[70] the Commandant sent to inform me they were released, -but as far as I know they never left the house though free to do so. -Those officers who went to see them came away with the impression that -they would rather not be visited, and on _April 24th_[71] I found _a -notice_[72] to this effect pinned to their front door, presumably placed -there by them. _The general impression of the camp was that they felt -aggrieved at not being looked upon as martyrs._[73] - -“On April 26th Lt. Hill and Lt. Jones left for Constantinople and on -April 27th _the Commandant sent to inform me_[74] that having come to -the conclusion that they had been mentally affected by their confinement -for two years as Prisoners of War he had reported the case to -Constantinople and had received orders to send them there. - - “(_Signed_) N.S. MAULE, - “Lt.-Col.” - -“How did you come to see the letter?” I asked. - -“Col. Maule showed it to the Commandant,” said the Pimple, “and the -Commandant desires to thank the Spook for controlling Maule into writing -in these terms, and for supporting his action in imprisoning the -mediums. Kiazim and Maule are now on a more friendly footing.” - -“Splendid!” I said. “Now tell me about yourself.” - -“I obey the Spook,” said the Pimple. “I am living very austerely. I do -not even go to the theatre or the cinema. All my leave I have been -studying languages as ordered by the Control. I am studying German, -Spanish, and Arabic. I know already French and Turkish, also Hebrew and -some English. Do you think that is enough?” - -“I don’t know,” I said doubtfully. “The Incas of Peru were great -magicians and some of the indigenous American languages might help. I -could teach you some Choctaw later on—there’s a lot of Choctaw -incantations you should learn some day.” - -“What’s Choctaw like?” Moïse asked. - -“_Hwch goch a chwech o berchill cochion bychain bach_,” I said. (Which -is “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper,” in Welsh.)[75] - -“_Mon Dieu!_” said Moïse. “But tell me, how can I study the Art of -Government?” - -“Read Aristotle’s _Politics_ and Plato’s _Republic_,” I said. - -Then I began twisting my button. - -“Sir?” said Moïse. - -“Good advice,” said the Spook. “But don’t forget _Punch_—add _Punch_ to -the list.” - -I let go the button again. - -“The Spook was talking,” Moïse explained. “He said to read _Punch_. But -surely that is what you call a ‘comic paper’?” - -“I’m not sure,” I sighed wearily. “I know all our British Statesmen read -it. It seems to be part of their work.” - -“I see,” said the Pimple. “Now, when do you think we can try the Four -Point Receiver?” - -“If Hill were only alive——” I began. - -“But he is! The Spook told me he is in the Gumush Suyu hospital. The -doctor told you a lie.” - -“Good!” I cried. “We’ll try it when Hill comes back.” But when some -three weeks later the Gumush Suyu doctors tired of their experimenting -and Hill did come back, he was too weak to walk a hundred yards. - -Moïse had an uncle who was a patient—a malingering one—in the eye ward -of Haidar Pasha; he was trying to get his discharge. The Pimple used to -come and see him every visiting day (Friday). By this time I had -acquired the run of the hospital. It was a simple matter to meet Moïse -“accidentally” in the corridor and to get him to take me into the -garden. On one of these occasions the Spook said: - -“I am going to punish the Commandant still more.” - -“What for, Sir?” the Pimple asked. - -“For digging without orders and trying to find the treasure before you -got back so as to cheat you of your share.” - -“The devil!” said the Pimple. “I never before realized that _that_ was -his object.” - -“Of course it was,” said the Spook. - -“Punish him, Sir!” Moïse cried. “Punish him hard, the dirty pig! Here am -I, suffering at the military school, while he rolls in luxury at Yozgad! -Oh, Sir, punish him!” - -“I will,” said the Spook. - -About the middle of August Moïse came again. He was much excited, for he -had just been to the War Office, and learned some news through a friend -there. - -“There has been a big escape from Yozgad,” he told me; “twenty-six -officers have run away. Only a few have been caught so far.” - -The Kastamouni Incorrigibles!—I thought to myself. I could have shouted -with joy. - -“I’ve seen the telegrams,” Moïse went on, “and neither Kiazim nor the -War Office can make out how they got away. But _I_ know. The Spook did -it! This must be the Spook’s attempt to get Kiazim punished, but I fear -it cannot succeed.” - -“Why not?” I asked. - -“Because the Commandant has much influence at Headquarters, and it will -all be hushed up.” - -The Pimple did not come back again until well on in September—he could -not get away from his training school. In the interval Hill came back -from Gumush Suyu and we carried on as usual. - - * * * * * - -Suddenly, for no reason at all as far as we could see, the whole -atmosphere of the hospital seemed to change towards us. Turkish officers -among the patients, who had always been friendly, suddenly began to -cold-shoulder me. The attendants seemed to be watching us with added -care. I was forbidden to go into the garden at all, whether with or -without an attendant, and as I had not been detected in an escape[76] -for some time previously I could not understand it. A Turkish patient in -a ward upstairs hung about me for three or four days, pretending to be -very friendly towards me, but obviously putting me through my paces. He -said he was an Armenian, and informed me I “was very clever but would -have to be careful.” I replied, like a good G.P., that I “was the -cleverest man in the world.” That evening, by sheer good luck, I saw -this man leaving the hospital for a stroll. _He was dressed in the -uniform of a Turkish doctor!_ Next day he was back in hospital, dressed -as a patient. “Keep it up,” he said to me, “always keep it up.” (He -should have followed his own advice, I thought to myself, and not gone -for that stroll.) “I want to see you get away and I think you’ll do it. -Flatter them—bribe them, if you have the money.” - -I stared at him in astonishment, as if I did not understand. - -“I’m an Armenian,” he said, “and I love the English.” - -“You _what_?” I cried. - -“I love the English,” he repeated. - -“Then, by God, I’ll kill you!” I shouted, and rushed up to my friend -Nabi Chaoush, the _café-jee_, bellowing for the loan of his knife.[77] - -My friendly doctor-patient bolted, and I never saw him again. To this -day I do not know whether it was an official test or not. - -Particularly unwelcome was the sudden attention of the administrative -officers of the hospital, who had never before taken any notice of us. -The _Insabit Zabut_ (an assistant superintendent) was particularly -assiduous. He set a series of traps with “poisoned parcels” and “money -from the English,” etc., to see how I would behave. Three times he came -into the ward and searched my bed. One day, when I was in the bath, I -spotted his orderly watching me through a hole in the roof. - -The _History of my Persecution by the English_ (I had written about -thirty large note-books full by this time) disappeared for twenty-four -hours. I wished joy to whomsoever had taken it because it was all -unutterable nonsense specially written for the eyes of the Turk. But the -action showed renewed suspicion on somebody’s part. - -So far as I could make out—I could not consult Hill for reasons that -will appear—the trouble was not with our own doctors of the mental ward. -Except that one of the juniors cut down my diet for a few days, their -attitude was much as usual. It was the attendants, the administrative -authorities, the doctors belonging to other wards, and the other -patients, who had altered their attitude. Noticing that whenever I -entered our ward animated conversations amongst the other patients came -to a sudden stop, I crept out one evening along a ledge which ran round -the outside of the hospital, and listened under the open window. They -were discussing plans for watching us and catching us out! - -I was in one way relieved to hear this, because I had begun to fear that -I was imagining things and that perhaps I was going really mad. I -wondered if Hill had noticed anything, but in the circumstances any -attempt at communicating was too dangerous. - -It was not till long afterwards, on one of the rare occasions when we -managed a brief conversation in the garden, that I learnt what Hill had -suffered during this period. He, too, had noticed the conversations -amongst the patients which ceased at my entry, but as he knew very -little Turkish he could not understand what was said. One phrase, -however, he _did_ understand, and its constant repetition got on his -nerves. He told me they were everlastingly talking about “a letter from -Yozgad.” But though he correctly repeated the phrase to me in Turkish, I -felt certain he must have misunderstood what was said, and that what he -had heard was something else, similar in sound, which he had construed -into Turkish words he knew. For I could not imagine who at Yozgad could -write a letter which would get us into trouble. Kiazim Bey would not -dare to do so for he himself was too seriously implicated. The Cook, who -still believed in the Spook, was equally unlikely. The Pimple was not in -Yozgad, but in Constantinople. And nobody else amongst the Turks knew -anything. I said so to Hill, but he stuck to it that the phrase he had -heard so often was “_a letter from Yozgad_” and nothing else. And in the -light of later knowledge I believe he was right. - -Before I proceed to what we now believe is the explanation of this -exceptionally bad spell, let me quote Hill’s account of one of his -experiences about this time. It occurred during the latter half of -August, when he returned from Gumush Suyu, and I believe the persons -responsible were the administrative authorities of Haidar Pasha, and not -the doctors of the mental ward, who were absent at the time. - -After describing how he was taken to the depôt he says: - -“A man came and told me to ‘come along.’ He started off along the -outside of the building at about three times the speed I could go, -making for the entrance to the bath and taking no heed as to whether I -followed or not. I wandered along behind until he was out of sight round -the corner, and then turned at right angles, sat down behind a rose-bush -and read the Bible. - -“He found me a few minutes later and we proceeded to the bath together -at my maximum speed. Having undressed, I was shown the door of the -bathroom and told to go in. I went in and started pouring water over -myself. A few minutes later the man and a still filthier Turk came in -and had a look at me. They muttered something to each other and went out -again. The filthier one came back with a worn-out, blunt and rusty -razor, and a strop. He looked at me and proceeded to strop the razor. I -began to feel uneasy. - -“He then made me soap my face and head, and proceeded to shave both, if -it can be called a ‘shave.’ It was more like tearing out by the roots. -My head was sore for a week afterwards. - -“After shaving all the hair I possessed except my eyebrows, he left me. -I sat for about half an hour, and then wandered out, with nothing on. I -was met in the outer room by the first man, who sent me back into the -bath. I stayed there reading the Bible for about a quarter of an hour, -and then wandered out again with the same result. So I settled down and -read the Bible until it was too dark to see, and then sat in my usual -position with my head in my hands. - -“All this time there was a man in the bathroom who was apparently -neglected like myself, but probably there to watch me. Many others came -and went. - -“About 8.30 p.m.[78] a man brought in some pyjamas for me and for some -Turkish soldiers who had collected in the bathroom. We were all herded -together and taken outside. At the door the man in charge took my bundle -of toilet things from me and went through the contents. He threw the -things into the corner, one by one, except a piece of very inferior -soap, which he gave me. This was stolen from me by someone else during -the night. - -“We were taken along the passage, past the ward Jones and I were in -before, and to the other side of the hospital. Here most of the patients -were put into a ward. I and the man who had been with me all the time in -the bathroom were kept waiting while the orderly who brought us had a -confab with another at the ward. After which we were taken back to the -bath! - -“After a short time we were taken back to the ward again. I stayed there -all night. I was not given any food....” - -Even though the bathroom was fairly warm[79] (65° to 75° Fahrenheit I -should guess), over five hours naked on the marble floor was a pretty -severe ordeal for a man who was just getting over a bad bout of -dysentery and was too weak to walk without difficulty. At this period -Hill was so emaciated that he could not bear to cross one leg over the -other in bed for any length of time because his shinbones felt so sharp. - -The object of the Turks seems to have been to see if they could force a -complaint out of Hill or get him to show any interest in his own -treatment or his surroundings. He was led three times past the ward I -was in, probably as a test to see if he would recognize it and come to -me for help in his misery. But such was the iron resolution of the man -that, though ready to drop from weakness, he managed to appear quite -heedless of everything except his Bible. - -Of this period Hill has told me since that worse than all the physical -sufferings which he had to undergo—and they were many—was the mental -agony of knowing that, with the exchange in sight, after all our months -of hard work, we were under a darker cloud of suspicion than ever; and -for no apparent reason except this mysterious “letter from Yozgad.” What -that letter was we never knew and do not know to this day. But that such -a letter came we have now no doubt. The author was probably Kiazim Bey’s -superior officer, and the contents may be guessed from the following -story of what happened at Yozgad, which we learned after our release. - -The “Big Escape” from Yozgad took place on August 7th, 1918. Kiazim Bey -at once retaliated on those who were left behind in the camp by -cancelling all privileges of every description. He locked up the -prisoners in their respective houses and gardens. A Turkish official, -superior in rank to Kiazim Bey, was sent from Angora to investigate the -circumstances of the escape. To him the camp complained of their -treatment and endeavoured to secure Kiazim’s dismissal by means of a -series of charges of peculation, embezzlement of money and parcels, and -so on. But Kiazim was a wily Oriental and had covered his tracks well. -These charges were hard to prove, and he looked like getting off. As a -makeweight there was added proof of Kiazim’s complicity with Hill and -myself. One of the three negatives of the treasure-hunt, to procure -which Hill and I had taken so much trouble and so many risks, was handed -over to Kiazim’s superior.[80] The negative showed me standing with my -arms raised over the fire in the “incantation,” and round me the -carefully posed and clearly recognizable figures of the Pimple, the Cook -and Kiazim Bey. Together with this damning photograph the Turkish -authorities were given some sort of a summary of our séances. To make -assurances doubly sure the investigating official got the negative -enlarged. Kiazim was recognized beyond doubt, placed under arrest, and -ordered to be tried by court-martial. Thus the camp revenged themselves -on Kiazim Bey and won back some of their lost comfort. - -This explains the “letter from Yozgad” and our nerve-racking experience -towards the end of our stay in Haidar Pasha. It looks to us as if -Kiazim’s superior officer reported to the War Office, and the War Office -asked the administrative authorities of Haidar Pasha about us. That we -still managed to deceive everybody I can explain only on the assumption -that the specialists were by this time firmly convinced of our insanity. -The opinion of experts like Mazhar Osman, Chouaïe, and Helmi Beys, -supported as it was by that of many junior specialists like Ihsan, -Talha, Riza, and Shezo-Nafiz, and by the whole Exchange Board of -doctors, had already been given in our favour and was not lightly to be -set aside. So the administrative authorities appear to have contented -themselves with a few experiments “on the quiet” at our expense. At any -rate, Hill and I got off with some quite undeserved discomfort and a -very bad scare. - -The surrender of our “evidence” to the Turks was due to a -misunderstanding of our wishes. Colonel Maule explained the matter to me -after our release, when I grumbled that the camp had come very near to -blowing us up in the mine we had so laboriously laid for Kiazim Bey. The -facts were these: When Hill and I left Yozgad we had given instructions -to Matthews as to the circumstances under which our “proof” was to be -used. Once we had got clear of Turkey, we told him, the camp might make -use of it in any way it chose, and we pointed out that it might then -prove a useful weapon for all sorts of purposes. But so long as we -remained in the grip of the Turks it was not to be used on behalf of the -camp except to prevent suffering _from our actions_, a circumstance -which was not likely to occur except in the improbable event of Kiazim -seeing through our plan and realizing we had been duping him all along, -when we would be “in the soup” even more than the others. The threat of -exposure which Matthews would be in a position to make might then save -both ourselves and the camp from ill-treatment, and ensure Kiazim’s -silence and good behaviour. Never for a moment did we contemplate -sacrificing ourselves or our scheme to save our comrades from discomfort -_caused by the actions of others_. - -Matthews knew this quite well, and had he remained in Yozgad the -photograph and the summary of our papers would never have been given up -to the Turks. But unfortunately for us, Matthews was one of the -twenty-six who attempted escape, and before he had been recaptured or -could interfere on our behalf the damage had been done. Some time before -his escape Matthews (with our full permission, of course) had told our -story and shown our papers to the new Senior Officer of the camp, who -had taken Colonel Maule’s place on the arrival of the Kastamouni party -in April. In telling it he had emphasized the fact that the camp had now -a grip on Kiazim. Unfortunately for us the new S.O. misunderstood. He -got it into his head that it was our wish the evidence should be used in -_any_ serious emergency. Himself one of the “Kastamouni Incorrigibles,” -with strong anti-parole views, he fostered and aided every reasonable -plan of escape, and nothing could have been further from his mind than -to put obstacles in our way. He may have thought, as a good many people -in Yozgad thought, that we were already safe in England. Be that as it -may, it is only just to an officer for whom every prisoner in Turkey had -a profound respect to say that in using our evidence he fully believed -that he was carrying out our wishes. Indeed, now that it is all over, -Hill and I take it as a high compliment that he should have thought us -capable of such disinterested action, and much regret the necessity of -having to confess that he was quite wrong. - -[Illustration: - - AUTOGRAPH PHOTOGRAPH OF MAZHAR OSMAN BEY (CENTRE, SEATED) AND FIVE - OTHER HAIDAR PASHA DOCTORS. - (PRESENTED TO THE AUTHOR BY TALHA BEY)] - -We saw the Pimple only once more. He came to the hospital late in -September to enquire of the Spook how much longer his unpleasant -military training was likely to continue, when we would proceed with the -treasure-hunt, and when he might expect to begin his career as Ruler of -the World. He also wanted to know if the Spook really intended us to be -sent to England as exchanged prisoners, and, if so, why. - -The Spook explained that the strain of being under control for so long -had been very severe on the mediums, and he had therefore “controlled” -the Haidar Pasha doctors to give us a thorough holiday by sending us to -England. The treasure-hunt was temporarily shelved on account of the -disobedience and greed of the “double-faced Superior” (Kiazim). But it -would not be for long. Very soon we would be back in Constantinople, -possibly in the guise of Red Cross officers, with our health -re-established, and ready to begin a new series of experiments and -discoveries. Until we came Moïse was to continue to be honest, to live -austerely, and to do his duty; for this was his training for the -glorious future that awaited him. - -The Pimple shook hands with me many times over. He walked off at last, -his head high, and his eye bright with the vision of his coming -omnipotence. As I watched his cocksure little figure striding out of the -hospital gates for the last time—the Spook had told him not to come -back—I felt inclined to call after him that he had far to go, and that -his training would be long—very long—before he could become Ruler of the -World. But I did not. I went back to the ward and Hill, and that was the -last I saw of the Pimple. - - * * * * * - -Hill left Haidar Pasha on October 10th to join the sick who were -collecting for repatriation at Smyrna. I remained behind—the hospital -authorities explained to the Dutch Embassy that I “would commit suicide -if placed among the English”—and finally reached Smyrna just too late to -catch the first exchange ship, by which Hill travelled, but I got the -second exchange ship a few days later, and we met again in a hotel in -Alexandria. - -The armistice with Turkey had just been signed. We had reached British -soil perhaps a fortnight ahead of the “healthy” prisoners. - -We shook hands. - -“We’ve been through a good deal, old chap, and for very little,” I said, -with a smile. - -“Never mind,” Hill answered, “we did our best. It wasn’t our fault we -had to wait so long for the boat, and nobody could tell the armistice -would come like this. Come out on the beach.” - -We went for a stroll together. It was good to be free again. - - * * * * * - -Amongst the repatriated sick on the transport which carried us from Port -Said to Taranto was Colonel Maule. With him I discussed many things, -including the surrender of our “evidence” to the Turks. He put the -matter in a nutshell. - -“You ought to have put your instructions to Matthews in writing,” he -said. “Indeed, for anyone with a scheme half so complicated as yours, -even writing is hardly good enough. My successor did what he thought you -wanted, and what practically the whole camp, including myself, thought -you wanted.” - -At which, when I told him, Hill growled. “They should have known us two -better than to think we wanted _that_.” - -“Why?” I asked. - -He played the Scot and answered my question with three more. - -“Weren’t we prisoners of war?” said he, a trifle bitterly. “Aren’t we -all selfish? Can you name a single prisoner who is an altruist?” - -I knew what was the matter. Our sufferings at Haidar Pasha were still -fresh. Hill was thinking, perhaps, of the failure of our kidnapping -scheme and of the various unintentional indiscretions by our comrades -which had made our path so hard to travel. I left him alone, and walked -forward to where I could see the fast approaching shores of Italy. - -In a little while he was beside me again. - -“I was wrong,” he said, in his quiet tones. “I had no right to say that. -There were Matthews, and Doc., and that generous soul whom we shall -never see again——” He paused, and for a space stood looking over the sea -in silence. I knew the name he had not the heart to utter. Twelve -prisoners had died at Yozgad since we left there in April. Amongst the -dead were men we loved, and one to whose unselfish friendship we owe -more than we can tell. For while we lay in hospital at Constantinople, -Lieutenant E.J. Price, R.N., had solved the eternal problem. - -Hill’s back was half turned to me, so that I could not see his face. -“Yes, I was quite wrong,” he repeated. “There were those three, and many -more—many who wanted to help if they had known how.” - -Something in his voice moved me strangely. I thought of those he had -named, and of the many more who had wanted to help. I thought of all -this man beside me had endured in our struggle for freedom, of his -uncomplaining patience in the face of trials and disappointments, of his -resolute courage that neither starvation, nor sickness, nor -ill-treatment could break, and of his unending loyalty to myself through -it all; and then my mind turned to a lonely grave in the bare Anatolian -hills, and what the man who lay there had done for both of us. - -“For me,” I said gently, “our hardships have been worth while. I have -found many Treasures.” - -Hill understood. - -“We have indeed been blessed in our friends,” he said. - - - - - POSTSCRIPT - - WHAT THE PIMPLE THINKS OF IT ALL—THREE LETTERS - - -I have been asked to add what has become of our three converts to -spiritualism—the Pimple, the Cook and Kiazim Bey. All I know is -contained in three letters from Moïse—so far unanswered. Their chief -interest lies, not so much in the news they contain, as the attitude of -mind they reveal. It is an attitude common to many Spiritualists—a -refusal to look facts in the face. Until I read them I never could -understand how Sir Oliver Lodge and others like him could go on -believing in mediums, such as Eusapia Palladino, who had already been -detected in fraud. But now I see that faith—even a faith induced by -fraud—is the most gloriously irrational and invincible phenomenon in all -experience, and that, as Hill said, “True Believers remain True -Believers through everything.” - -Here are the letters: - -No. 1. - - CONSTANTINOPLE, - - _8th February, 1919._ - -DEAR JONES, - - I wanted to write to you since a long time but it has been -impossible. Happily the British Authorities have allowed us this week to -send letters to the Entente countries and the first one I send abroad is -for you. I am most anxious to hear of your health and that of Hill. I -have not heard of you for six months (September) and it seems such a -long while! The last time I saw you you were in such a bad state, and I -hope, and very sincerely wish that the strain which you were subjected -to, has loosed a little and that your health has improved. I have a lot -of news to give, still more to ask. You know that all the officers -interned at Yozgad came to Constantinople on their way home. They are -the only prisoners who came here. I don’t know why. I had a chat with -many of them, especially with Captain Miller and Major Peel. Miller told -me that Hill had made a camera with which you took many photographs of -Yozgad. I congratulate Hill for his industry! My talk with Major Peel -was more interesting. He looked stiff, and I dare say a little furious -with me. He said that the Commt. the Cook, I and two other gentlemen -were looking up for a treasure amounting to £18,000, the arrest of these -two officers, the letter, the enquiry, all that _was a fraud_. The -Commandant was acting. He had rehearsed it the day before with the -officers. _One of the officers_ told him everything, that Hill has taken -a photograph of the Comt. I, the Cook, the gentlemen (!) sitting round a -big fire lighted on great stones at the top of a hill near the camp. I -could not understand that. How could they have got such a photograph? I -very strongly protested against this, it was false and that some officer -with a wide fancy has started this rumour in the camp. The gentleman -could not have given him the photo since the gentlemen had stopped to -see them when the thing is supposed to have occurred. I could not change -his mind; the photo is there and he sticks to it. I waited until the -Commandant’s arrival to have more explanations. - -I am giving you all these details because Peel might put it in a paper. -I may not know it and make it clear. I had lived in a very friendly -footing with all the officers and I don’t wish to get into trouble for a -misunderstanding. I reckon on your friendship to settle the matter -clear, if necessary. - -The facts are these. While you were in the hospital, here, about -sixteen[81] officers escaped from the Camp (among which Cochrane, Sweet -(dead), Stoker, Matthews, etc.). Many of them were caught again (it was -a pity) but some got home without any difficulty.[82] The Turkish War -Office, on hearing it, sent the Commanding Officer of the Army Corps in -Angora to enquire. The relations between the two Commandants were far -from being good. The latter tried to make as many charges against our -Commandant as possible. As he knew some French Captain Shakeshaft was -used as interpreter. Many complaints were put forward by Col. Maule who -spoke with him about the treasure digging and gave him the photo.[83] I -have long wondered how he got it. I cannot make it out. It is not -_HUMAN_: How could they get a photo when there was nobody to take it! It -is mysterious. None of my Best Friends did know it. If they had done -they would certainly have informed me. Among the other complaints there -are about his ill-treatment, his making money out of them, his robbing -them and so on. Now, the reports were sent to the War Office and the -Commandant is going to be court-martialled here. He said that the -escapes are in the background now, according to him the money business -comes in first and he can answer for everything _but_ the photo. Very -cleverly he wanted to put my name forward in the trial! I did not want -to get mixed up in such business, I threw away my uniform,[84] and never -went again to see him, notwithstanding many wires he sent to me. He does -not know where I am lodging and I am not afraid of him. - -I am leaving (_sic_) by teaching French and English. It is very -difficult to get on with and the mere commodities being at an awful -price and there being no prospect of peace signed soon. I applied for a -situation at the British H.Q. and as they wanted to send me to Anatolia -as interpreter I declined. The pay was good, food free, but I remembered -that “a crust of bread where there are people to see you eating it is -better than rich meats in the wilderness.”[85] I remained and the -situation was lost. What do you advise me? Was I wrong in doing so? What -is the opinion of the Control? You liked Turkey and know Turkish quite -good. Could you not manage to be sent here with Hill? How happy I will -be to see you again! But you prefer of course to go back to India, to -Burma, don’t you. Are you discharged? Hill is he in the R.F.C.? Could -you send me your and his home address? You can write as many letters as -you like and so can give all news you think interesting to me. Besides -letters will you try to send me a message[86] every 1st and 15th of each -month? I’ll try to do the same. I hope that everything is all right and -that nothing has been spoilt. I am working hard to learn English better -for our next meeting.[87] - - Very sincerely yours, - - (_Signed_) MOÏSE. - - _Address: - Moïse Eskenazi, - Poste Restante, - British Post Office, - Galata, Constantinople._ - -(_To be labelled so by order_). - -No. 2. - - CONSTANTINOPLE. - - _22nd February, 1919._ - -DEAR JONES, - - I wrote a long letter to you about two weeks ago. As I am not -certain you will get it I do it once again. - -I am very anxious about your health and Hill’s and it will be for me a -great relief when I hear of your perfect health. You will not believe me -if I tell you I am thinking of you both the whole day. - -I cannot forget our experiment. Instead of thinking of the future, my -thoughts are going to the happy past elapsed since March, 1918. -Goodness! When you get this letter a whole year will have passed and we -were going to be so happy long ago but for the double-faced -Superior.[88] Notwithstanding the promises of _help_ lavished on me by -our _teacher_[4] nothing seems to come out of it. Ill luck is going -after me. I do not complain because the end will be good. I trust -_him_[89] so much and all’s good that ends good! Is it not so? - -I have applied a great many times to your offices here, but as I told -you I am not favoured by chance. People who have applied after myself -who have not so good knowledge of your language have got splendid and -well paid jobs. Could you give me some letter to any of the officers -here, if you are aware of acquaintance of you being here? - -Before any of your letters of introduction what I wish most is that you -don’t forget me and that you honour me of your friendship. Our -experiments have bound me to you and Hill. Be assured that it is not -only by interest. It is an admiration, a great love for all that you -have undergone, with the only object of scientific knowledge.[90] It may -be true that you have not lost in the bargain; the knowledge and the -power you got came as a reward. You did not expect so much on the -beginning. When do you think we are most likely to give an end to our -_story_?[91] Is everything all right or has anything gone wrong? Do you -intend to come back to Turkey or to go back to India? Would you not like -to come here as a Red Cross officer?[92] - -I am working hard at the English,[92] but what would make me improve -would be to be all day long with English speaking people, that is, to -get an employment in an office. But it won’t come. I told you. Luck is -shunning me. - -Dear Jones. _Do_ send me a letter. Let me know all about you since I saw -you last. Could you not send me a _message_ every 1st or 15th (on the -evening) every month as you used to send home.[93] _He_[94] could find -the way of how to do it. - -I just heard today that the British Government has asked the punishment -of many camp Commandants but ours is not included in the list. (Anyhow -the interpreter who succeeded me is.) As I told you he is going to be -court-martialled,[95] and I think will be forgiven. - -Send me your home address as this letter will take such a long time to -reach you, as I am sending it c/o the Indian Civil Service. Give me the -address of Hill too. Hoping to get very soon some news from you. - - I remain your most faithful friend, - - (_Signed_) MOÏSE. - -No. 3. - - PROVOST MARSHAL’S OFFICE, - - CONSTANTINOPLE. G.H.Q. - - _13th June, 1919._ - -DEAR JONES, - - I wrote to you many letters but I have not had any from you yet. As -I did not know your address I sent a line to your father asking for your -whereabouts. - -As I told you before, I am now in the employ of the British here and -attached to the P.M. as interpreter. The other day I attended a -court-martial, in order to give evidence about the Sup.[96] Most of the -questions ran about the two officers sent sick to the hospital at Haidar -Pasha. They showed to me a photo[97]: it represents a hill somewhere -near the camp; the Sup.[96] is on the left side; a tall officer is -holding his hands up as if he were praying.[98] I am near him and the -old Cook near me. Those _four_ are the only persons in the picture. It -puzzles me a lot as I cannot understand who took the photo and admitting -it was taken by OOO[99] how the dickens did he manage to pass it to the -camp? - -Miller[100] before going to England on his way here, told me that Hill -gave it to them with many others. Of course, it is all rubbish[101] but -cannot you give an explanation of the riddle? - -That affair has formed the subject of many articles published in papers -by officers of our camp. I have seen one of them by Captain Forbes in a -Glasgow newspaper. I agree that he has a wonderful imagination.[102] But -I suppose that the whole camp thought like him. If you could send any -copies available referring to our camp and this business, I shall be -glad indeed. - -How is Hill? Is he in England or is he gone to Australia? What are your -ideas? Shall we meet again? I hope you have not forgotten what you -promised in the train[103] and that nothing wrong has happened since -that could irritate the Controller and that we shall be able to resume -our studies.” - -[Then follow remarks about the weather in Constantinople. He ends]: - -“I want, now that I have plenty of time, to study _those questions_[104] -further. Could you send me a few important standard books dealing with -this subject? I should be greatly obliged to you and do not forget -please to drop a line to your - - Very affectionate - - (_Signed_) MOÏSE ESKENAZI. - -Let me end this postscript with a quotation from a letter of Hill’s -acknowledging the receipt of a copy of the Pimple’s last note: - -“No, Bones, I am not altogether sorry for the Pimple. I can’t quite -forget about the thefts from our parcels at Yozgad and the other things -he did. Besides, the Spook ‘did him nothing but good,’ as Doc. used to -say. The military training nearly made a man of him, and he has been -honest now for over a year. So he’s getting on. As to the ‘standard -works on spiritualism,’ I think you had better send him your own book. -That should help him to the right point of view—unless he thinks it was -written by OOO.” - ------ - -Footnote 47: - - The performance was so amusing that I repeated it at every possible - opportunity on our 120-mile road journey to Angora, and the poor - Pimple was in and out of his cart like a Jack-in-the-box. To his - credit be it said that he succeeded in getting back most of the notes - I distributed so lavishly, and he was perfectly honest in returning - them to us in Constantinople. - -Footnote 48: - - From the point of view of the professional medium the slower methods - have another advantage. Very little ground is covered at a single - table-rapping séance, and at the end of the allotted hour the sitter - has usually a number of questions he still wishes to put. So he is - likely to come back for a second guinea’s worth. - -Footnote 49: - - I apologise to the inhabitants of Togoland for comparing their music - (whatever it may be) to the abominable noises made by our sentries. - -Footnote 50: - - Before leaving Yozgad we had come to an arrangement with Price. If - questioned he was to say that while digging in the garden at the spot - mentioned above he had come on a tin with a false bottom, on opening - which he found a gold lira and a circular piece of paper with curious - hieroglyphics on it. The lira he had kept (we gave him one to - produce), but he had lost the paper. - -Footnote 51: - - A type of nomenclature common amongst Turkish peasantry. “Hassan’s boy - Ahmed” was a very incongruous name for a Pasha. - -Footnote 52: - - I gave the name of a well-known Scottish expert on nervous diseases—an - old college friend of mine. It had the effect I desired. Whether they - looked him up afterwards in some medical list or whether, as is more - probable, they already knew of his writings and his reputation in the - treatment of nervous diseases, I do not know. But some days later the - chief doctor, Mazhar Osman Bey, tried to question me about “the Doctor - Bey, M——, of Glasgow.” The “of Glasgow” showed me my friend was known - to them, so assuming as cunning a look as I could, I denied ever - having heard the name before. The Chief smiled to himself and went - away. - -Footnote 53: - - A pamphlet of his (later, when I had become his favourite patient, he - presented me with an autograph copy of it) was entitled, _Spiritism - Aleyhindé_ (Against Spiritualism). So far as I could understand it (it - was written in very technical Turkish), he sought to prove that the - proper abode for spiritualists is a private asylum, and the so-called - “subconscious” replies to questions given in automatic writing, - table-rapping, etc., and similar phenomena, are as much due to nervous - derangement as are the conversations with spirits indulged in by - sufferers from G.P.I. He challenged me to write a reply to his - pamphlet from the spiritualist point of view. Perhaps this book will - do instead. - -Footnote 54: - - On the strength of Mazhar Osman Bey’s suggestion to learn Turkish I - promptly ordered “a hundred books on the Turkish language,” and gave - nobody any rest until I was provided with one (at my own expense, of - course). It was Hagopian’s _Conversation Grammar_—a most excellent - book. I had plenty of teachers—every patient in the hospital and most - of the doctors were delighted to give me a lesson whenever I asked for - one—and to the delight of Mazhar Osman Bey I made rapid strides in - Turkish. Needless to say, a sane occupation of this sort was of the - utmost value to me, and my only regret was that, as a madman, my study - of this most interesting language had to be spasmodic and irregular. - Still, I learned enough to become something of a “show patient,” and - to gain from the Dutch Embassy at Constantinople, whose medical - representatives visited us about July, the following quite unsolicited - and rather amusing “testimonial.” It was sent as a “Report” by the - Embassy, and reached my family through the India Office:— - - “Haidar Pasha Hospital.—We found here Lieut. Henry Elias Jones, - Artillery Battery (volunteer). The 10 of May, 1918, he was sent down - from Yozgad with mental disturbance. He was quite content and we had a - long talk with him. He wants to be a Turk, and mistrusts all English, - and will not take anything if it comes from his parents or from - England. He wants a Turkish uniform and will settle down in Turkey. - Intelligent as he is, he learnt Turkish with an astonishing good - accent in an exceedingly short time. He will probably be sent back to - England with the first exchange.” - -Footnote 55: - - This referred to a large drawing of a monstrous machine which was - placed in my (Jones’s) kit for the doctors to find. The machine was - designed to flatten out capes, fill up bays, and uproot all islands, - thereby straightening the coastline and making the sea safe for - navigation. The power was to be derived from the weight of the Great - Pyramid, which was to be removed from Egypt and placed on a raft 500 - feet long. The raft would rise and fall with the motion of the waves, - and operate an enormous knife which would cut away capes, islands, - etc. One of the uses to which the machine was to be put was to slice - under the island of Great Britain. We would then turn it over and - start a new England on the other side! - -Footnote 56: - - Somewhere in Hill’s kit (I don’t know if the doctors ever saw it), was - the following incoherent document, written in a very scrawly hand— - - “I, Elias Henry Jones, Master of Arts Assistant Commissioner in the - Indian Civil Service Deputy Commissioner of Kyaukse District Upper - Burma and Headquarters Assistant Moulmein Lieutenant Indian Army - Reserve of Officers in the Volunteer Artillery Battery born at - Aberystwyth and educated at Glasgow University and Balliol College - Oxford CERTIFY and PROMISE by ALMIGHTY GOD that if you will assist me - in my great scheme and do everything I require of you including draw - and inventions of MACHINERY I certainly will be converted by you and - give up all wickedness as you say as soon as my great scheme is - finished and until then you must help me with designs and drawings and - inventions of NECESSARY MACHINERY. - - “Signed E.H. JONES.” - -Footnote 57: - - I think our traps were on the whole more successful than those of the - medical men. The most amusing, perhaps, was what we called “the - chocolate test.” Chocolate at this time was practically unobtainable - in Constantinople. Indeed, anything of that nature was immensely - expensive. Now one of the junior doctors, who had a room in the - hospital, had a sweet tooth. Hill and I had hoped for this, and had - arranged the test before we entered the hospital. - - I let it be known in the mad ward that we had a large supply of - “stores” in the depot. (We had saved them up from parcels which - arrived during our starvation period at Yozgad.) This aroused great - enthusiasm amongst the other patients, who suggested they should be - brought up. They were fetched by Ibrahim, the good-natured attendant - who happened to be on duty at the time. When the case arrived I - pretended to change my mind. I refused to allow it to be opened, - because for all we knew the stores might be poisoned. A malingering - epileptic, to whom I had promised some tea, said the doctor could - examine them for us and find out if they contained poison or not. This - was what we wanted. One of the junior doctors was then brought in, and - pretended to examine the stores. He declared them all fit for human - consumption. With my customary lavish generosity (generosity was one - of my symptoms), I started handing tins of tea, coffee, sugar, etc., - to all the patients, keeping nothing for myself. (A pound of tea in - those days cost a thousand piastres—about £9.) The doctor stopped this - mad act, took charge of the stores, and said he would issue them to - Hill and myself little by little. He took them to his private room - upstairs. - - A week later, with the freedom of a lunatic, I burst into his room - unannounced, and found him with his mouth full of our chocolate. He - blushed, said he was “testing our chocolate for poison,” and asked me - if I knew how many tins I had. I said I did not know at all. “You have - two,” he said, looking relieved. (We really had ten, but he had - already eaten eight, I suppose.) “And here they are.” He handed me two - tins, assured me they were not poisoned, and told me to give one to - Hill. He also gave me a little tea and a tin of condensed milk. That - was all we ever saw of the stores. I pretended to forget about them, - but used to make incursions into the private room to note the rate at - which our junior doctor was getting through them. Hill and I were - delighted at the success of our little plot, for we knew that this man - at least would be anything but anxious to prove our sanity to his - Chief, and as he was more often about the ward than any other doctor, - the sacrifice was well worth while. - - I purposely do not give his name. In the main he was a good fellow - enough, and in the half-starved state of Constantinople the temptation - to which he was subjected was very severe, while he was very young. - But I hope that, like a good Mohammedan, he thoroughly enjoyed the - tins of “Pork and Beans,” and that he suffered no indigestion from the - bacon. - - Later, when fresh parcels arrived, we tried the same trick with - Chouaïe Bey, a new doctor whose attitude towards us we wanted to know. - It failed utterly, I am glad to say, not because he suspected us, nor - yet because his mouth did not water over the dainties, but because he - was an exceedingly fine man in every way. It was only with immense - difficulty that I got him to accept a tin of cocoa as a gift, and he - insisted on repaying us by sending us delicacies from his private - house. He was also the only doctor amongst them all who tried hard to - induce me to send a note to my wife and relieve her anxiety by saying - I was quite well. (I refused, because my wife knew this already.) - - We tricked Chouaïe Bey in another way—I had kept up the old pretence - of knowing no French, and had the pleasure of listening with a wooden - face while he described our diseases to a friend. - -Footnote 58: - - I learned at Haidar Pasha that Hill’s medical history was never sent - to Gumush Suyu, nor did the Gumush Suyu doctors ask for it, although - they knew Hill had been two months under Mazhar Osman Bey. Hill’s - transfer was made in obedience to an administrative order from the - Turkish War Office, without the knowledge or concurrence of our own - doctors, who were off duty when the order arrived. I was sent to - Gumush Suyu at the same time as Hill, and was subjected to similar - treatment. (My temperature on admission was 103° due to influenza.) By - dint of making a thorough nuisance of myself to everybody, I succeeded - in getting myself sent back to Haidar Pasha after thirty-six hours of - Gumush Suyu, but failed to get them to send Hill with me. The reason - for sending me back was stated in a note from the head doctor which - said that Gumush Suyu hospital had neither the trained staff nor the - accommodation necessary for mental cases. It amounts to this: The bold - experimenters at Gumush Suyu were quite ready to practise their - prentice theories on Hill, who was harmless and passive under their - treatment as befitted his malady, but they had no desire to try their - tricks on a lunatic who was active and possibly dangerous, like - myself. When I pretended to take a violent dislike to one of the - doctors, and tried to buy a knife from the sentry, they thought - discretion the better part of valour. This was the sole reason why _I_ - was a “case for specialists,” while Hill was not. - -Footnote 59: - - Colonel F.E. Baines, I.M.S., the British medical officer who saw Hill - at Psamatia, at once put in a strong protest in writing about Hill’s - condition and treatment. It stated that Hill was suffering from - dysentery and acute melancholia, and that he was dying through - neglect, and that he should be sent to England at once. It ended with - the threat that if Hill did die, Colonel Baines would hold the Turkish - Government responsible for his death, and do his best to bring the - responsibility home. The letter was a gallant challenge to the Turks - from a man who was himself a prisoner. It was, of course, a perfectly - _bona fide_ expression of the Colonel’s professional opinion, and is a - worthy example of the fearless way in which our medical men sought to - do their duty. That Colonel Baines, too, was deceived is no reflection - upon him. Another British doctor, also deceived, characterized Hill’s - performance afterwards as “the most wonderful case of malingering he - had ever heard of.” - -Footnote 60: - - The Embassy report was sent to my parents by the India Office in their - letter M.35342 of October 30th, 1918, and is as follows: - - “14th August, Psamatia. We found removed to Psamatia 2nd Lieut. C.W. - Hill, R.F.C., mentioned in our first report on Gumush Suyu Hospital. - As he is not taking any food and his insanity growing worse every day, - we advised to send him back to England instantly together with Lieut. - Jones of Haidar Pasha Hospital or to put him under special treatment.” - -Footnote 61: - - There were other portraits of Enver in the hospital, and when his - Cabinet fell, about a month before the armistice, they were all taken - down—except mine. On that occasion a Pasha—named, I think, Suliman - Numan Pasha—came to the hospital, took down a life-size portrait of - Enver, put his foot through it and danced on the fragments. His object - was to try to dissociate himself from his former chief, and keep his - job; but I believe he too “crashed.” Still, to me his object did not - matter. How I secretly longed to join him in his dance! - -Footnote 62: - - A mistake. The charge on which we were convicted was “communication by - telepathy.” See Major Gilchrist’s account of the trial, p. 107, - Chapter X. There is nothing about “telepathy” in the Turkish - Regulations. - -Footnote 63: - - The original sentence was “no walks.” Later the Commandant gave it out - he would allow us only the regulation number of walks—one a week. - Really, of course, we could have had as many as we pleased. We had - three altogether, including the two treasure-hunts. - -Footnote 64: - - A mistake. The correct date is March 20th. - -Footnote 65: - - “School House” was another name for Posh Castle. - -Footnote 66: - - A mistake. The correct date is April 2nd. - -Footnote 67: - - The interview is described in Chapter XI., pp. 111-114. - -Footnote 68: - - Compare Major Gilchrist’s pæan of praise, Chapter XI. at end, and - Major Peel’s laudatory comment. - -Footnote 69: - - We thought the Colonel should have reported our imprisonment and the - charge against us, in his monthly letter, whether he agreed with the - Commandant or not. - -Footnote 70: - - By the Spook’s instructions. See Chapter XIX., p. 201. - -Footnote 71: - - We left the house on April 22nd. The notice appears to have remained. - -Footnote 72: - - In Chapter XIX., p. 207, the notice is quoted. - -Footnote 73: - - “Martyrs.” The camp was a bit wide of the mark, as usual. - -Footnote 74: - - This was also by the Spook’s orders. - -Footnote 75: - - Literally, “A red sow and six very small red porklings.” - -Footnote 76: - - During our air-raids on Constantinople, which usually took place at - night, I used to spot the general direction of gun-flashes, etc. For - the purpose of accurately marking down these anti-aircraft gun and - mitrailleuse positions (in which I was fairly successful), and - especially in the hope of locating a concealed munitions factory which - several patients told me was hidden near “Katikeoy” (in which I - failed), I frequently broke out of hospital. I usually got back - without my absence being observed. Once I was nearly shot (by the - sentry guarding a mitrailleuse concealed in the English cemetery on - which I stumbled quite accidentally). Three times I was captured - outside, twice by sentries and once by the gendarmerie. Once I escaped - again from my captors, by diverting their attention with a tin of - jam—I told them it was a bomb to bomb the English—on the other two - occasions I was brought back to hospital, and each time used the same - trick—raved and stormed, and said I must kill Baylay. On both these - occasions the doctors drugged me, with trional and morphia, to quieten - my nerves and put me to sleep. They ascribed my wanderings to my - madness. So far as I know my real object was never suspected. - -Footnote 77: - - This knife for which I bellowed had a history which Nabi never tired - of relating to me. According to him, H.M. King George V. had been the - original owner. When our King was serving his country in the Navy, his - ship came to Rhodes. A shoot was organized. Nabi was one of the - beaters, and at the end of the day he asked that, instead of being - paid, he should be given a memento of the occasion which he could - keep. He got the knife—and I was perfectly safe in bellowing for it, - because Nabi is so delightfully proud of the gift that he will never - let it out of his possession. - -Footnote 78: - - Hill entered the bath at 3.30—five hours earlier. - -Footnote 79: - - It was a “Turkish” bath, but not well heated at this time because of - the scarcity and high price of wood. It had, however, a glass roof, - which helped to keep up the temperature. - -Footnote 80: - - A second of the three negatives was unfortunately lost by my friend, - Captain Arthur Hickman, who was kindly bringing it back to England for - me. This accounts for the fact that only one of the three photographs - appears in this book. - -Footnote 81: - - The Pimple means twenty-six. - -Footnote 82: - - For the “ease” with which it was accomplished, see “_450 Miles to - Freedom_.” - -Footnote 83: - - A mistake of the Pimple’s. At this time Colonel Maule was no longer - senior officer of the camp. - -Footnote 84: - - A typically Turkish way of getting “demobbed.” - -Footnote 85: - - A quotation from the Spook. See Chapter XXIII., p. 245. - -Footnote 86: - - The Pimple means a telepathic message. - -Footnote 87: - - Spook’s orders again! - -Footnote 88: - - _I.e._, Kiazim Bey. - -Footnote 89: - - _I.e._, the Spook. The Pimple writes thus obscurely because of the - censorship. - -Footnote 90: - - See Chapter XIII., #p. 136#. - -Footnote 91: - - _I.e._, the “Ruler of the World” story. - -Footnote 92: - - A suggestion of the Spook’s. - -Footnote 93: - - From his perusal, as censor, of my private letters to England, Moïse - believed I was in telepathic touch with mediums at home. It is an - amusing fact that one of my home correspondents, believing me to be - genuinely interested in spiritualism (of course the letters were - written for _Moïse’s_ benefit), went to a medium and actually got a - “message” about me. But the message referred to the very distant past, - before I became a prisoner, and to a fact known to the sitter and - several others. Had the medium been able to communicate my plan of - escape to the sitter—a plan which must have interested all intelligent - spooks—the money would have been well spent and I should certainly - have believed in “telepathy.” - -Footnote 94: - - _I.e._, the Spook. - -Footnote 95: - - Kiazim was court-martialled by the Turks themselves. I do not know the - result. - -Footnote 96: - - “The Sup.” was one of the Spook names for Kiazim Bey. - -Footnote 97: - - This was, of course, the photograph of the finding of the first clue, - taken by Hill. - -Footnote 98: - - The incantation. The figure described is the author. - -Footnote 99: - - The Pimple, as a Spiritualist, has every right to believe the - photograph was taken by OOO, but it would be interesting to know how - he explained his belief to the Court. - -Footnote 100: - - Captain S.W. Miller, M.C., was a fellow-prisoner of war at Yozgad. - -Footnote 101: - - A typically spiritualistic view of an inconvenient truth. - -Footnote 102: - - Captain Forbes was one of the Kastamouni Incorrigibles. His version of - the story appeared in the _Glasgow Sunday Post_. According to him the - Spooks who guided Kiazim were those of “Napoleon” and “Osman the - Conqueror.” As a matter of fact, “Napoleon” was on the side of OOO. - -Footnote 103: - - We promised in the train (on the way to hospital) that we would meet - the Pimple again in Egypt so that he might become the “Ruler of the - World.” (Chapter XXVI., p. 284.) - -Footnote 104: - - “_Those questions_,” _i.e._, spiritualism. - ------ - - - - - - - APPENDIX I - - LIST OF OFFICERS OF THE BRITISH AND INDIAN FORCES - INTERNED AT YOZGAD, 1917. - - NAVAL - - LIEUT.-COMMANDERS: A.D. COCHRANE, R.N. - - H.G.D. STOKER, R.N. - - LIEUTENANTS: R.D. MERRIMAN, R.I.M. - - A.J. NIGHTINGALE, R.N.A.S. - - E.J. PRICE, R.N. - - L.C.P. TUDWAY, R.N. - - P. WOODLAND, R.N.A.S. - - MILITARY - - COLONELS: W.W. CHITTY, 119th Infantry. - - A.J.N. HARWARD, 48th Pioneers. - - LIEUT.-COLONELS: HON. C.J. COVENTRY, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - W.C.R. FARMAR, R.G.A. - - E.H.E. LETHBRIDGE, 1st Oxford - and Bucks. - - F.C. LODGE, 2nd Norfolks. - - N.S. MAULE, R.F.A. - - F.A. WILSON, R.E. - - Majors: F.E. BAINES, I.M.S. - - E.J.L. BAYLAY, R.F.A. - - H. BROKE-SMITH, R.F.A. - - T.R.M. CARLISLE, R.F.A - - E. CORBOULD-WARREN, R.F.A. - - J.H.M. DAVIE, Poona Horse. - - E.G. DUNN, 1st R.I.R. - - E.E. FORBES, S. and T. Corps. - - W.F.C. GILCHRIST, 81st - Infantry. - - A.F.W. HARVEY, R.F.A. - - C.F. HENLEY, 1st Oxford and - Bucks. - - G.M. HERBERT, 2nd Dorsets. - - S. JULIUS, Royal Sussex. - - O.S. LLOYD, R.F.A. - - J.W. NELSON, 2nd Royal West - Kents. - - B.G. PEEL, 81st Infantry. - - F.S. WILLIAMS-THOMAS, - Worcester Yeomanry. - - CAPTAINS: A. BROWN, 2nd Dorsets. - - E.W. BURDETT, 48th Pioneers. - - H.S. CARDEW, 34th Div. Signal - Company. - - C.E. COLBECK, R.E. - - M.J. DINWIDDY, 2nd Royal West - Kents. - - K.F. FREELAND, R.G.A. - - A. GATHERER, 34th Div. Signal - Company. - - C.B. MUNDEY, 1st Oxford and - Bucks. - - W.R. O’FARRELL, R.A.M.C. - - J. PHILLIPS, S. and T. Corps. - - E.W.C. SANDES, R.E. - - A.J. SHAKESHAFT, 2nd Norfolks. - - R.E. STACE, R.E. - - J. STARTIN, R.A.M.C. - - H.W. TOMLINSON, R.E. - - A.J. WILCOX, Chaplain. - - S.C. WINFIELD-SMITH, R.F.C. - - LIEUTENANTS: W. BARTON, 2nd Dorsets. - - J.L. BATTY, I.A.R.O. - - W. BELL, Worcester Yeomanry. - - S.W. BIDEN, I.A R.O. - - G.W.R. BISHOP, 2/8 Somerset - L.I. - - W.R. BOYES, I.A.R.O. - - E.B. BURNS, 2nd Royal West - Kents. - - T. CAMPBELL, 2nd Norfolks. - - B. CHAMBERLAIN, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - C.P. CRAWLEY, 2nd Dorsets. - - F.B. DAVERN, R.F.A. - - J.H.T. DAWSON, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - W. DEVEREUX, R.F.A. - - L.H.G. DORLING, R.F.A. - - P.N. EDMONDS, R.F.A. - - R. FLUX, R.F.A. - - H.C. GALLUP, R.F.A. - - C.C. HERBERT, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - A.M. HICKMAN, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - C.F. HIGHETT, 2nd Dorsets. - - A.V. HOLYOAKE, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - C.W. HILL, R.F.C. - - B.A. JERVIS, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - E.H. JONES, I.A.R.O. - - J. KILLIN, R.E. - - O.H. LITTLE, Topographical - Survey. - - J. MARSH, Worcester Yeomanry. - - A.E. MASON, 1st Oxford and - Bucks. - - L.W.H. MATHIAS, 128th - Pioneers. - - A.B. MATTHEWS, R.E. - - J. MCCOMBIE, 34th Div. Signal - Company. - - J. MCCONVILLE, 34th Div. - Signal Company. - - D.S. MCGHIE, R.E. - - S.W. MILLER, 2nd Dorsets. - - J. MILLS, 2nd Royal West - Kents. - - F.W. OSBORNE, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - H.L. PEACOCKE, 2nd Norfolks. - - J.F.W. READ, 2nd Norfolks. - - D.A. SIMMONDS, 2nd Dorsets. - - W. SNELL, 1/6th Devons. - - R.A. SPENCE, R.F.A. - - H.W.M. SPINK, I.A.R.O. - - T. STRICKLAND, Gloucester - Yeomanry. - - L.S. SUTOR, I.A.R.O. - - F.N.G. TAYLOR, R.E. - - W.E. TRAFFORD, R.F.A. - - J.S. TWINBERROW, Worcester - Yeomanry. - - H.G. WALDRAM, 1/6th Devons. - - E.S. WARD, Worcester Yeomanry. - - E.J. WILLIAMS, R.G.A. - - F.P. WILLIAMS, R.G.A. - - F.W.B. WILSON, R.F.A. - - G.B. WRIGHT, Worcester - Yeomanry. - -(NOTE.—The rank given above is that held by the officer at the time of -his capture by the Turks. - -The list does not include the officers from Kastamouni camp who arrived -in Yozgad the day before the departure of Lieut. Hill and myself for -Constantinople.—E.H.J.) - - - APPENDIX II - - THE MATTHEWS-LITTLE CODE-TEST. - - -What happened in this test is a little difficult to follow without an -illustration. - -Consider the Ouija illustrated on p. 5 as the one with which I was -familiar up to the time of the test. Matthews made his secret -rearrangement of the letters by interchanging T and W, B and M, D and V. -The order of the letters on his “original,” “duplicate” and “triplicate” -therefore was as follows: - - APTEHYKXQNIFS_VD_OJLZWGMCURB. - -Owing to my not having noticed that D and V had been interchanged, the -order of the letters as I saw them in my mind’s eye was: - - APTEHYKXQNIFS_DV_OJLZWGMCURB. - -The “triplicate,” revolving inside the “duplicate,” stopped with its B -opposite the V, the code formed being as follows: - - _Code I._ - - APTEHYKXQNIFS_V_DOJLZWGMCURB (dup.) - S_V_DOJLZWGMCUR_B_APTEHYKXQNIF (trip.) - -On this code, to write the word “spook” I was expected to write the -letters RVPPZ. What I _did_ write however was USAAL. These letters, -de-coded under the above code-system, give the letters FADDY, which are -all one place to the left of the ones required—SPOOK. The reason for -this was a double accident. First I had failed to notice that D and V -had been interchanged by Matthews; second, the letter whose identity I -succeeded in eliciting from Little happened to be V. Little’s -inadvertent information had been that the B had stopped opposite V, so -that the code on which I was working was the following: - - _Code II._ - - APTEHYKXQNIFS_DV_OJLZWGMCURB (dup.) - FS_DV_OJLZWGMCUR_B_APTEHYKXQNI (trip.) - -If the alphabet be coded on Code II. (which is what I did) and the -result decoded on Code I. (which is what Little had to do), it will be -found that twenty-two of the twenty-six letters are represented by the -letter immediately to their left in Matthews’s rearrangement; and of the -remaining four letters two are _two_ places to the left and two are in -the correct position. The proportion of cases in which the letter -appeared one to the left of where it should be was great enough to make -the investigators believe that the Spook was purposely writing in this -way. They either did not notice, or passed over as negligible, the four -exceptions. Yet in these exceptions lay the clue to the trick. - - - APPENDIX III - - -I give below enough of the Telepathy Code used by Hill and myself to -show the system on which we worked. The portion here given is about -one-sixth of the whole code. - - ══════╤════════════╤════════════╤════════════╤════════════ - │ │ │ │WHAT I HAVE - │ │ THIS │ THING │ HERE - │ │ (1) │ (2) │ (3) - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (0) A│Yes │Watch │Chain │Key - M│I want you │ │ │ - │to │ │ │ - │tell me │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (¼) B│Thanks │Pin │Nail │Screw - N│Will you │ │ │ - │say? │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (½) C│Thank you │Button │Badge │Star - O│Bones │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (1) D│Well │Banknote │Coin │Purse - P│I want you │ │ │ - │to │ │ │ - │tell us │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (2) E│All right │Handkerchief│Tie │Tie-clip - Q│Say │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (3) F│Quick │Glass │Cup │Mug - R│Come on │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (4) G│Quicker │Cork │Corkscrew │File - B│Come along │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (5) H│Quickly │Matchbox │Match │Bit of wood - T│Come │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (6) I│Tell me │Pipe │Box │Pipe-cleaner - U│Good │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (7) J│Tell us │Cigarette │Cig.-paper │Cig.-roller - V│Very good │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (8) K│Can you tell│ │ │ - │me? │Pencil │Rubber │Fountain-pen - W│I want to │ │ │ - │know │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (9) L│Can you tell│ │ │ - │us? │Letter │Card │Envelope - X│We want to │ │ │ - │know │ │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (10)│Will you │ │ │ - │tell me? │Book │Notebook │Paper - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (11)│Will you │ │ │ - │tell us? │Knife │Scissors │String - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (12)Y│Do you know?│Candle │Lamp │Oil - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (20)Z│Can you say?│Fruit │Flower │Vegetable - ══════╧════════════╧════════════╧════════════╧════════════ - - ══════╤════════════╤════════════╤════════════ - │ │ ARTICLE │ ONE - │ │ (4) │ (5) - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (0) A│Yes │Ring │Strap - M│I want you │ │ - │to tell me │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (¼) B│Thanks │Buckle │Belt - N│Will you │ │ - │say? │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (½) C│Thank you │Crown │Medal - O│Bones │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (1) D│Well │Pocket-book │Spectacles - P│I want you │ │ - │to tell us │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (2) E│All right │Cap │Scarf - Q│Say │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (3) F│Quick │Bottle │Saucer - R│Come on │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (4) G│Quicker │Tin-opener │Adze - B│Come along │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (5) H│Quickly │Stone │Earth - T│Come │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (6) I│Tell me │Tobacco │Case - U│Good │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (7) J│Tell us │Cig.-lighter│Cig.-holder - V│Very good │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (8) K│Can you tell│ │ - │me? │Nib │Charcoal - W│I want to │ │ - │know │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (9) L│Can you tell│ │ - │us? │Photo │Stamp - X│We want to │ │ - │know │ │ - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (10)│Will you │ │ - │tell me? │Ink │Ruler - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (11)│Will you │ │ - │tell us? │Wire │Rope - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (12)Y│Do you know?│Wick │Candlestick - ──────┼────────────┼────────────┼──────────── - (20)Z│Can you say?│Grass │Leaf - ══════╧════════════╧════════════╧════════════ - -In order to indicate any article to me Hill asked the question in the -horizontal column in which the article appeared, and added the word or -words at the head of the perpendicular column. Thus:— - -“_Tell me_ what _this_ is,” meant a pipe. - -“_Can you tell us_ what this _article_ is?” meant a photograph. - -“_Yes_, what’s this _one_?” meant a strap. And so on. (The italics -indicate the key words.) - -The table given shows eighty articles. By prefixing the word “_now_” to -his question, Hill let me know he was referring to a second series of -eighty articles. “_Now, tell me_ what _this_ is,” did not mean a “pipe,” -but it referred to the article in the corresponding position in the -second series. Similarly a prefix of “_now then_” referred to a third -series. And so on. The questions were very much alike and it required an -acute observer to notice that no two were exactly the same. - -The addition of the words “_in my hand_” indicated that only a portion -of the article in the list had been shown. Thus when Slim Jim produced -the stump of a candle Hill’s question was, “_Do you know_ what _this_ is -_in my hand_?” - -Each question in the horizontal columns also stood for a letter of the -alphabet, so that it was possible (though slow) to spell out the name of -an article. - -Both the questions in the horizontal columns and the headings of the -vertical columns were used to indicate numbers. Thus, “_Tell me quickly_ -if you _can say_ what _this_ number is? _Come along!_ _Don’t you know_ -it?” is 6 5 2 0 1 4 1 2. - -We had key words for decimals, fractions, subtraction, addition, and for -repetition of the last-named figure. We also had key words to indicate -any officer or man in the camp. - -If the same thing was handed up to Hill twice in succession the question -could nearly always be varied in form. Thus a “pipe” is indicated either -by “_Tell me_ what _this_ is” or “_Good!_ What’s _this_?” - -Finally we had a system for using the code without speaking at all, -which we employed with success at a private séance in “Posh Castle,” but -which is too intricate to describe here. An amusing result of our use of -this alternative system was to bewilder completely those in the company -who thought the message was conveyed by the form of Hill’s question to -me. They argued (quite fallaciously), that because we could do it -without speaking, therefore what Hill said to me when he did speak had -nothing to do with my answers. - -I ought, perhaps, to add that perfection in the use of the code involves -a good deal of memory work and constant practice. Nothing but the -blankness of our days in Yozgad and the necessity of keeping our minds -from rusting could have excused the waste of time entailed by -preparation for a thought-reading exhibition. It is hardly a fitting -occupation for free men. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - THE SILENCE OF - COLONEL BRAMBLE - - By ANDRÉ MAUROIS. _Second Edition. 5s. net._ - -“_The Silence of Colonel Bramble_ is the best composite character sketch -I have seen to show France what the English Gentleman at war is like ... -much delightful humour.... It Is full of good stories.... The translator -appears to have done his work wonderfully well.”—_Westminster Gazette._ - -“This book has enjoyed a great success in France, and it will be an -extraordinary thing if it is not equally successful here.... Those who -do not already know the book in French, will lose nothing of its charm -in English form. The humours of the mess room are inimitable.... The -whole thing is real, alive, sympathetic; there is not a false touch in -all its delicate glancing wit.... One need not be a Frenchman to -appreciate its wisdom and its penetrating truth.”—_Daily Telegraph._ - -“An excellent translation ... a gay and daring translation ... I laughed -over its audacious humour.”—_Star._ - -“This admirable French picture of English officers.”—_Times._ - -“A triumph of sympathetic observation ... delightful book ... many -moving passages.”—_Daily Graphic._ - -“So good as to be no less amusing than the original.... This is one of -the finest feats of modern translations that I know. The book gives one -a better idea of the war than any other book I can recall.... Among many -comical disputes the funniest is that about superstitions. That really -is, in mess language, ‘A scream.’”—_Daily Mail._ - -“The whole is of a piece charmingly harmonious in tone and closely woven -together.... The book has a perfect ending.... Few living writers -achieve so great a range of sentiment, with so uniformly light and -unassuming a manner.”—_New Statesman._ - - -------------------------------------------------------------------- - - JOHN LANE, The Bodley Head, Vigo Street, W. - - - - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - -Transcriber’s note: - -Errors in the text have been corrected where they can be reasonably -attributed to the printer or editor, or where the same word appears as -expected elsewhere. - -The original text has unpaired double quotation marks which could not -be corrected with any confidence. - -There are multiple references to footnotes 4 (p. 36), 24 (p. 140), 92 -(p. 341), and 96 (p. 342). - -The details of each correction are noted below. - - p. 31 as if there’s nothing[’/”] Corrected. - - p. 36 under one name or another, pumped[,] the Removed. - sitter - - was the [usuall ittle/usual little] Corrected. - throng of spectators - - p. 50 could spot your style,[’/”] Corrected. - - p. 66 Any fresh mud or dampness on the Restored. - revolver du[e] - - p. 67 the banisters, with [e]very appearance Restored. - of weakness. - - p. 69 ground would hav[e] to be covered at Restored. - night - - p. 76 hands with their delicate [taper] _Sic._ - fingers - - p. 81 and I know it’s not that grub.[”] Added. - - p. 160 —Lieut. Spink.[’]” Added. - - p. 192 must be “[wropped] in mystery.” _Sic._ - - p. 206 our main points simultaneously[.] Added. - - p. 210 just read something about it.[”] Added. - - p. 227 Please protect us[,/.] The Commandant is Corrected. - - p. 228 [“]Your obedient servants, Added. - - p. 231 and I noticed Captain Su[bh/hb]i Fahri Transposed. - - p. 237 several British officers here know a Added. - little Turkish.[”] - - p. 265 clear recollections of [unnamable] _Sic._ - tortures - - p. 290 paratyp[l/h]oid, dysentery,” I said. Corrected. - - p. 308 mor[d/n]ing following the Board Meeting Corrected. - - - -***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROAD TO EN-DOR*** - - -******* This file should be named 51754-0.txt or 51754-0.zip ******* - - -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: -http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/1/7/5/51754 - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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