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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Big Engine, by Fritz Leiber
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: The Big Engine
-
-Author: Fritz Leiber
-
-Release Date: March 25, 2016 [EBook #51549]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BIG ENGINE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE BIG ENGINE
-
- By FRITZ LEIBER
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Galaxy Magazine February 1962.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-
-
- Have you found out about the Big
- Engine? It's all around us, you
- know--can't you hear it even now?
-
-
-There are all sorts of screwy theories (the Professor said) of what
-makes the wheels of the world go round. There's a boy in Chicago who
-thinks we're all of us just the thoughts of a green cat; when the green
-cat dies we'll all puff to nothing like smoke. There's a man in the
-west who thinks all women are witches and run the world by conjure
-magic. There's a man in the east who believes all rich people belong to
-a secret society that's a lot tighter and tougher than the Mafia and
-that has a monopoly of power-secrets and pleasure-secrets other people
-don't dream exist.
-
-Me, I think the wheels of the world just go. I decided that forty
-years ago and I've never since seen or heard or read anything to make
-me change my mind.
-
-I was a stoker on a lake boat then (the Professor continued, delicately
-sipping smoke from his long thin cigarette). I was as stupid as they
-make them, but I liked to think. Whenever I'd get a chance I'd go to
-one of the big libraries and make them get me all sorts of books.
-That was how guys started calling me the Professor. I'd get books on
-philosophy, metaphysics, science, even religion. I'd read them and try
-to figure out the world. What was it all about, anyway? Why was I here?
-What was the point in the whole business of getting born and working
-and dying? What was the use of it? Why'd it have to go on and on?
-
-And why'd it have to be so complicated?
-
-Why all the building and tearing down? Why'd there have to be cities,
-with crowded streets and horse cars and cable cars and electric cars
-and big open-work steel boxes built to the sky to be hung with stone
-and wood--my closest friend got killed falling off one of those steel
-boxkites. Shouldn't there be some simpler way of doing it all? Why did
-things have to be so mixed up that a man like myself couldn't have a
-single clear decent thought?
-
-More than that, why weren't people a real part of the world? Why didn't
-they show more honest-to-God response? When you slept with a woman,
-why was it something you had and she didn't? Why, when you went to a
-prize fight, were the bruisers only so much meat, and the crowd a lot
-of little screaming popinjays? Why was a war nothing but blather and
-blowup and bother? Why'd everybody have to go through their whole lives
-so dead, doing everything so methodical and prissy like a Sunday School
-picnic or an orphan's parade?
-
- * * * * *
-
-And then, when I was reading one of the science books, it came to me.
-The answer was all there, printed out plain to see only nobody saw it.
-It was just this: Nobody was really alive.
-
-Back of other people's foreheads there weren't any real thoughts or
-minds, or love or fear, to explain things. The whole universe--stars
-and men and dirt and worms and atoms, the whole shooting match--was
-just one great big engine. It didn't take mind or life or anything else
-to run the engine. It just ran.
-
-Now one thing about science. It doesn't lie. Those men who wrote those
-science books that showed me the answer, they had no more minds than
-anybody else. Just darkness in their brains, but because they were
-machines built to use science, they couldn't help but get the right
-answers. They were like the electric brains they've got now, but hadn't
-then, that give out the right answer when you feed in the question. I'd
-like to feed in the question, "What's Life?" to one of those machines
-and see what came out. Just figures, I suppose. I read somewhere that
-if a billion monkeys had typewriters and kept pecking away at them
-they'd eventually turn out all the Encyclopedia Brittanica in trillions
-and trillions of years. Well, they've done it all right, and in jig
-time.
-
-They're doing it now.
-
-A lot of philosophy and psychology books I worked through really fit
-in beautifully. There was Watson's _Behaviorism_ telling how we needn't
-even assume that people are conscious to explain their actions. There
-was Leibitz's _Monadology_, with its theory that we're all of us lonely
-atoms that are completely out of touch and don't effect each other in
-the slightest, but only seem to ... because all our little clockwork
-motors were started at the same time in pre-established harmony. We
-_seem_ to be responding to each other, but actually we're just a bunch
-of wooden-minded puppets. Jerk one puppet up into the flies and the
-others go on acting as if exactly nothing at all had happened.
-
-So there it was all laid out for me (the Professor went on, carefully
-pinching out the end of his cigarette). That was why there was no
-honest-to-God response in people. They were machines.
-
-The fighters were machines made for fighting. The people that watched
-them were machines for stamping and screaming and swearing. The bankers
-had banking cogs in their bellies, the crooks had crooked cams. A woman
-was just a loving machine, all nicely adjusted to give you a good time
-(sometimes!) but the farthest star was nearer to you than the mind
-behind that mouth you kissed.
-
-See what I mean? People just machines, set to do a certain job and
-then quietly rust away. If you kept on being the machine you were
-supposed to be, well and good. Then your actions fitted with other
-people's. But if you didn't, if you started doing something else, then
-the others didn't respond. They just went on doing what was called for.
-
-It wouldn't matter what you did, they'd just go on making the motions
-they were set to make. They might be set to make love, and you might
-decide you wanted to fight. They'd go on making love while you fought
-them. Or it might happen the other way--seems to, more often!
-
-Or somebody might be talking about Edison. And you'd happen to say
-something about Ingersoll. But he'd just go on talking about Edison.
-
-You were all alone.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Except for a few others--not more than one in a hundred thousand, I
-guess--who wake up and figure things out. And they mostly go crazy and
-run themselves to death, or else turn mean. Mostly they turn mean. They
-get a cheap little kick out of pushing things around that can't push
-back. All over the world you find them--little gangs of three or four,
-half a dozen--who've waked up, but just to their cheap kicks. Maybe
-it's a couple of coppers in 'Frisco, a schoolteacher in K.C., some
-artists in New York, some rich kids in Florida, some undertakers in
-London--who've found that all the people walking around are just dead
-folk and to be treated no decenter, who see how bad things are and get
-their fun out of making it a little worse. Just a mean _little_ bit
-worse. They don't dare to destroy in a big way, because they know the
-machine feeds them and tends them, and because they're always scared
-they'd be noticed by gangs like themselves and wiped out. They haven't
-the guts to really wreck the whole shebang. But they get a kick out of
-scribbling their dirty pictures on it, out of meddling and messing with
-it.
-
-I've seen some of their fun, as they call it, sometimes hidden away,
-sometimes in the open streets.
-
-You've seen a clerk dressing a figure in a store window? Well, suppose
-he slapped its face. Suppose a kid stuck pins in a calico pussy-cat, or
-threw pepper in the eyes of a doll.
-
-No decent live man would have anything to do with nickel sadism or dime
-paranoia like that. He'd either go back to his place in the machine and
-act out the part set for him, or else he'd hide away like me and live
-as quiet as he could, not stirring things up. Like a mouse in a dynamo
-or an ant in an atomics plant.
-
-(The Professor went to the window and opened it, letting the sour old
-smoke out and the noises of the city in.)
-
- * * * * *
-
-Listen (he said), listen to the great mechanical symphony, the big
-black combo. The airplanes are the double bass. Have you noticed how
-you can always hear one nowadays? When one walks out of the sky another
-walks in.
-
-Presses and pumps round out the bass section. Listen to them rumble
-and thump! Tonight they've got an old steam locomotive helping. Maybe
-they're giving a benefit show for the old duffer.
-
-Cars and traffic--they're the strings. Mostly cellos and violas. They
-purr and wail and whine and keep trying to get out of their section.
-
-Brasses? To me the steel-on-steel of streetcars and El trains always
-sounds like trumpets and cornets. Strident, metallic, fiery cold.
-
-Hear that siren way off? It's a clarinet. The ship horns are tubas,
-the diesel horn's an oboe. And that lovely dreadful french horn is an
-electric saw cutting down the last tree.
-
-But what a percussion section they've got! The big stuff, like
-streetcar bells jangling, is easy to catch, but you have to really
-listen to get the subtleties--the buzz of a defective neon sign, the
-click of a stoplight changing.
-
-Sometimes you do get human voices, I'll admit, but they're not like
-they are in Beethoven's _Ninth_ or Holst's _Planets_.
-
-_There's_ the real sound of the universe (the Professor concluded,
-shutting the window). That's your heavenly choir. That's the music
-of the spheres the old alchemists kept listening for--if they'd just
-stayed around a little longer they'd all have been deafened by it. Oh,
-to think that Schopenhauer was bothered by the crack of carters' whips!
-
-And now it's time for this mouse to tuck himself in his nest in the
-dynamo. Good night, gentlemen!
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Big Engine, by Fritz Leiber
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