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diff --git a/old/51534.txt b/old/51534.txt deleted file mode 100644 index ef71580..0000000 --- a/old/51534.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1494 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Self Portrait, by Bernard Wolfe - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Self Portrait - -Author: Bernard Wolfe - -Release Date: March 23, 2016 [EBook #51534] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SELF PORTRAIT *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - Self Portrait - - By BERNARD WOLFE - - Illustrated by MARTIN SCHNEIDER - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Science Fiction November 1951. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - In the credo of this inspiringly selfless - cyberneticist, nothing was too good for his colleagues - in science. Much too good for them! - - -_October 5, 1959_ - -Well, here I am at Princeton. IFACS is quite a place, _quite_ a place, -but the atmosphere's darned informal. My colleagues seem to be mostly -youngish fellows dressed in sloppy dungarees, sweatshirts (the kind -Einstein made so famous) and moccasins, and when they're not puttering -in the labs they're likely to be lolling on the grass, lounging in -front of the fire in commons, or slouching around in conference rooms -chalking up equations on a blackboard. No way of telling, of course, -but a lot of these collegiate-looking chaps must be in the MS end, -whatever that is. You'd think fellows in something secret like that -would dress and behave with a little more dignity. - -Guess I was a little previous in packing my soup-and-fish. Soon as I -was shown to my room in the bachelor dorms, I dug it out and hung it -way back in the closet, out of sight. When in Rome, etc. Later that day -I discovered they carry dungarees in the Co-op; luckily, they had the -pre-faded kind. - - * * * * * - -_October 6, 1959_ - -Met the boss this morning--hardly out of his thirties, crew-cut, -wearing a flannel hunting shirt and dirty saddleshoes. I was glad I'd -thought to change into my dungarees before the interview. - -"Parks," he said, "you can count yourself a very fortunate young man. -You've come to the most important address in America, not excluding the -Pentagon. In the world, probably. To get you oriented, suppose I sketch -in some of the background of the place." - -That would be most helpful, I said. I wondered, though, if he was as -naive as he sounded. Did he think I'd been working in cybernetics labs -for going on six years without hearing enough rumors about IFACS to -make me dizzy? Especially about the MS end of IFACS? - -"Maybe you know," he went on, "that in the days of Oppenheimer and -Einstein, this place was called the Institute for Advanced Studies. -It was run pretty loosely then--in addition to the mathematicians and -physicists, they had all sorts of queer ducks hanging around--poets, -egyptologists, numismatists, medievalists, herbalists, God alone knows -what all. By 1955, however, so many cybernetics labs had sprung up -around the country that we needed some central coordinating agency, -so Washington arranged for us to take over here. Naturally, as soon -as we arrived, we eased out the poets and egyptologists, brought in -our own people, and changed the name to the Institute for Advanced -_Cybernetics_ Studies. We've got some pretty keen projects going now, -_pret_-ty keen." - -I said I'd bet, and did he have any idea which project I would fit into? - -"Sure thing," he said. "You're going to take charge of a very important -lab. The Pro lab." I guess he saw my puzzled look. "Pro--that's short -for prosthetics, artificial limbs. You know, it's really a scandal. -With our present level of technology, we should have artificial limbs -which in many ways are even better than the originals, but actually -we're still making do with modifications of the same primitive, clumsy -pegs and hooks they were using a thousand years ago. I'm counting on -you to get things hopping in that department. It's a real challenge." - -I said it sure was a challenge, and of course I'd do my level best to -meet it. Still, I couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed. Around -cybernetics circles, I hinted, you heard a lot of talk about the -hush-hush MS work that was going on at IFACS and it sounded so exciting -that, well, a fellow sort of hoped he might get into _that_ end of -things. - -"Look here, Parks," the boss said. He seemed a little peeved. -"Cybernetics is teamwork, and the first rule of any team is that not -everybody can be quarterback. Each man has a specific job on our team, -one thing he's best suited for, and what _you're_ best suited for, -obviously, is the Pro lab. We've followed your work closely these last -few years, and we were quite impressed by the way you handled those -photo-electric-cell insects. You pulled off a brilliant engineering -stunt, you know, when you induced nervous breakdown in your robot -moths and bedbugs, and proved that the oscillations they developed -corresponded to those which the human animal develops in intention -tremor and Parkinson's disease. A keen bit of cybernetic thinking, -that. _Very_ keen." - -It was just luck, I told him modestly. - -"Nonsense," the boss insisted. "You're first and foremost a talented -neuro man, and that's exactly what we need in the Pro department. -There, you see, the problem is primarily one of duplicating a nervous -mechanism in the metal, of bridging the gap between the neuronic and -electronic. So buckle down, and if you hear any more gossip about MS, -forget it fast--it's not a proper subject of conversation for you. The -loyalty oath you signed is very specific about the trouble you can get -into with loose talk. Remember that." - -I said I certainly would, and thanks a whole lot for the advice. - -Damn! Everybody knows MS is the thing to get into. It gives you real -standing in the field if it gets around that you're an MS man. I had my -heart set on getting into MS. - - * * * * * - -_October 6, 1959_ - -It never rains, etc.: now it turns out that Len Ellsom's here, and -_he's_ in MS! Found out about it in a funny way. Two mornings a week, -it seems, the staff members get into their skiing and hunting clothes -and tramp into the woods to cut logs for their fireplaces. Well, this -morning I went with them, and as we were walking along the trail -Goldweiser, my assistant, told me the idea behind these expeditions. - -"You can't get away from it," he said. "E=MC^2 is in a tree trunk -as well as in a uranium atom or a solar system. When you're hacking -away at a particular tree, though, you don't think much about such -intangibles--like any good, untheoretical lumberjack, you're a lot -more concerned with superficialities, such as which way the grain -runs, how to avoid the knots, and so on. It's very restful. So long -as a cyberneticist is sawing and chopping, he's not a sliver of -uncontaminated cerebrum contemplating the eternal slippery verities of -gravity and electromagnetism; he's just one more guy trying to slice -up one more log. Makes him feel he belongs to the human race again. -Einstein, you know, used to get the same results with a violin." - -Now, I've heard talk like that before, and I don't like it. I don't -like it at all. It so happens that I feel very strongly on the subject. -I think a scientist should like what he's doing and not want to take -refuge in Nature from the Laws of Nature (which is downright illogical, -anyhow). I, for one, enjoy cutting logs precisely _because_, when my -saw rasps across a knot, I know that the innermost secret of that -knot, as of all matter in the Universe, is E=MC^2. It's my job to -_know_ it, and it's very satisfying to _know_ that I know it and that -the general run of people don't. I was about to put this thought into -words, but before I could open my mouth, somebody behind us spoke up. - -"Bravo, Goldie," he said. "Let us by all means pretend that we belong -to the human race. Make way for the new cyberneticists with their old -saws. Cyberneticist, spare that tree!" - -I turned around to see who could be making jokes in such bad taste -and--as I might have guessed--it was Len Ellsom. He was just as -surprised as I was. - -"Well," he said, "if it isn't Ollie Parks! I thought you were out in -Cal Tech, building schizophrenic bedbugs." - -After M. I. T. I _had_ spent some time out in California doing -neuro-cyber research, I explained--but what was _he_ doing here? I'd -lost track of him after he'd left Boston; the last I'd heard, he'd been -working on the giant robot brain Remington-Rand was developing for the -Air Force. I remembered seeing his picture in the paper two or three -times while he was working on the brain. - -"I was with Remington a couple of years," he told me. "If I do say -so myself, we built the Air Force a real humdinger of a brain--in -addition to solving the most complex problems in ballistics, it could -whistle _Dixie_ and, in moments of stress, produce a sound not unlike -a Bronx cheer. Naturally, for my prowess in the electronic simulation -of I.Q., I was tapped for the brain department of these hallowed -precincts." - -"Oh?" I said. "Does that mean you're in MS?" It wasn't an easy idea to -accept, but I think I was pretty successful in keeping my tone casual. - -"Ollie, my boy," he said in an exaggerated stage whisper, putting his -finger to his lips, "in the beginning was the word and the word was -mum. Leave us avoid the subject of brains in this _keen_ place. We -all have a job to do on the team." I suppose that was meant to be a -humorous imitation of the boss; Len always did fancy himself quite a -clown. - -We were separated during the sawing, but he caught up with me on the -way back and said, "Let's get together soon and have a talk, Ollie. -It's been a long time." - -He wants to talk about Marilyn, I suppose. Naturally. He has a guilty -conscience. I'll have to make it quite clear to him that the whole -episode is a matter of complete indifference to me. Marilyn is a closed -book in my life; he must understand that. But can you beat that? He's -right in the middle of MS! That lad certainly gets around. It's the -usual Ellsom charm, I suppose. - -The usual Ellsom technique for irritating people, too. He's still -trying to get my goat; he knows how much I've always hated to be called -Ollie. Must watch Goldweiser. Thought he laughed pretty heartily at -Len's wisecracks. - - * * * * * - -_October 18, 1959_ - -Things are shaping up in the Pro lab. Here's how I get the picture. - -A year ago, the boss laid down a policy for the lab: begin with legs -because, while the neuro-motor systems in legs and arms are a lot -alike, those in legs are much simpler. If we build satisfactory legs, -the boss figures, we can then tackle arms; the main difficulties will -have been licked. - -Well, last summer, in line with this approach, the Army picked out -a double amputee from the outpatient department of Walter Reed -Hospital--fellow by the name of Kujack, who lost both his legs in a -land mine explosion outside Pyongyang--and shipped him up here to be a -subject in our experiments. - -When Kujack arrived, the neuro boys made a major decision. It didn't -make sense, they agreed, to keep building experimental legs directly -into the muscles and nerves of Kujack's stumps; the surgical procedure -in these cine-plastic jobs is complicated as all getout, involves a -lot of pain for the subject and, what's more to the point, means long -delays each time while the tissues heal. - -Instead, they hit on the idea of integrating permanent metal and -plastic sockets into the stumps, so constructed that each new -experimental limb can be snapped into place whenever it's ready for a -trial. - -By the time I took over, two weeks ago, Goldweiser had the sockets -worked out and fitted to Kujack's stumps, and the muscular and -neural tissues had knitted satisfactorily. There was only one hitch: -twenty-three limbs had been designed, and all twenty-three had been -dismal flops. That's when the boss called me in. - -There's no mystery about the failures. Not to me, anyhow. Cybernetics -is simply the science of building machines that will duplicate and -improve on the organs and functions of the animal, based on what we -know about the systems of communication and control in the animal. All -right. But in any particular cybernetics project, everything depends -on just how _many_ of the functions you want to duplicate, just how -_much_ of the total organ you want to replace. - -That's why the robot-brain boys can get such quick and spectacular -results, have their pictures in the papers all the time, and become -the real glamor boys of the profession. They're not asked to duplicate -the human brain in its _entirety_--all they have to do is isolate and -imitate one particular function of the brain, whether it's a simple -operation in mathematics or a certain type of elementary logic. - -The robot brain called the Eniac, for example, is exactly what its -name implies--an Electronic Numerical Integrator and Computer, and -it just has to be able to integrate and compute figures faster and -more accurately than the human brain can. It doesn't have to have -daydreams and nightmares, make wisecracks, suffer from anxiety, and -all that. What's more, it doesn't even have to _look_ like a brain or -fit into the tiny space occupied by a real brain. It can be housed -in a six-story building and look like an overgrown typewriter or an -automobile dashboard or even a pogo stick. All it has to do is tell you -that two times two equals four, and tell you fast. - -When you're told to build an artificial leg that'll take the place -of a real one, the headaches begin. Your machine must not only _look_ -like its living model, it must _also_ balance and support, walk, run, -hop, skip, jump, etc., etc. _Also_, it must fit into the same space. -_Also_, it must feel everything a real leg feels--touch, heat, cold, -pain, moisture, kinesthetic sensations--_as well as_ execute all the -brain-directed movements that a real leg can. - -So you're not duplicating this or that function; you're reconstructing -the organ in its totality, or trying to. Your pro must have a full set -of sensory-motor communication systems, plus machines to carry out -orders, which is impossible enough to begin with. - -But our job calls for even more. The pro mustn't only _equal_ the -real thing, it must be _superior_! That means creating a synthetic -neuro-muscular system that actually _improves_ on the nerves and -muscles Nature created in the original! - -When our twenty-fourth experimental model turned out to be a dud last -week--it just hung from Kujack's stump, quivering like one of my robot -bedbugs, as though it had a bad case of intention tremor--Goldweiser -said something that made an impression on me. - -"They don't want much from us," he said sarcastically. "They just want -us to be God." - -I didn't care for his cynical attitude at all, but he had a point. Len -Ellsom just has to build a fancy adding machine to get his picture in -the papers. _I_ have to be God! - - * * * * * - -_October 22, 1959_ - -Don't know what to make of Kujack. His attitude is peculiar. Of course, -he's very co-operative, lies back on the fitting table and doesn't -even wince when we snap on the pros, and he does his best to carry out -instructions. Still, there's something funny about the way he looks at -me. There's a kind of malicious expression in his eyes. At times, come -to think of it, he reminds me of Len. - -Take this afternoon, for instance. I've just worked out an entirely -different kind of leg based on a whole new arrangement of solenoids to -duplicate the muscle systems, and I decided to give it a try. When I -was slipping the model into place, I looked up and caught Kujack's eye -for a moment. He seemed to be laughing at something, although his face -was expressionless. - -"All right," I said. "Let's make a test. I understand you used to be -quite a football player. Well, just think of how you used to kick a -football and try to do it now." - -He really seemed to be trying; the effort made him sweat. All that -happened, though, was that the big toe wriggled a little and the knee -buckled. Dud Number Twenty-five. I was sore, of course, especially when -I noticed that Kujack was more amused than ever. - -"You seem to think something's pretty funny," I said. - -"Don't get me wrong, Doc," he said, much too innocently. "It's just -that I've been thinking. Maybe you'd have more luck if you thought of -me as a bedbug." - -"Where did you get that idea?" - -"From Doc Ellsom. I was having some beers with him the other night. -He's got a very high opinion of you, says you build the best bedbugs in -the business." - -I find it hard to believe that Len Ellsom would say anything really -nice about me. Must be his guilt about Marilyn that makes him talk that -way. I don't like his hanging around Kujack. - - * * * * * - -_October 25, 1959_ - -The boss came along on our woodcutting expedition this morning and -volunteered to work the other end of my two-handled saw. He asked how -things were coming in the Pro lab. - -"As I see it," I said, "there are two sides to the problem, the -kinesthetic and the neural. We're making definite progress on the K -side--I've worked out a new solenoid system, with some miniature motors -tied in, and I think it'll give us a leg that _moves_ damned well. I -don't know about the N side, though. It's pretty tough figuring out -how to hook the thing up electrically with the central nervous system -so that the brain can control it. Some sort of compromise system of -operation, along mechanical rather than neural lines, would be a lot -simpler." - -"You mean," the boss said with a smile, "that it's stumping you." - -I was relieved to see him taking it so well because I know how anxious -he is to get results from the Pro lab. Since Pro is one of the few -things going on at IFACS that can be talked about, he's impatient for -us to come up with something he can release to the press. As the public -relations officer explained it to me at dinner the other night, people -get worried when they know there's something like IFACS going, but -don't get any real information about it, so the boss, naturally, wants -to relieve the public's curiosity with a good, reassuring story about -our work. - -I knew I was taking an awful chance spilling the whole K-N thing to him -the way I did, but I had to lay the groundwork for a little plan I've -just begun to work on. - -"By the way, sir," I said, "I ran into Len Ellsom the other day. I -didn't know he was here." - -"Do you know him?" the boss said. "Good man. One of the best -brains-and-games men you'll find anywhere." - -I explained that Len had gotten his degree at M.I.T. the year before I -did. From what I'd heard, I added, he'd done some important work on the -Remington-Rand ballistics computer. - -"He did indeed," the boss said, "but that's not the half of it. After -that he made some major contributions to the robot chess player. As a -matter of fact, that's why he's here." - -I said I hadn't heard about the chess player. - -"As soon as it began to play a really good game of chess, Washington -put the whole thing under wraps for security reasons. Which is why you -won't hear any more about it from me." - -I'm no Eniac, but I can occasionally put two and two together myself. -If the boss's remarks mean anything, they mean that an electronic brain -capable of playing games has been developed, and that it's led to -something important militarily. Of course! I could kick myself for not -having guessed it before. - -Brains-and-games--that's what MS is all about, obviously. It had to -happen: out of the mathematical analysis of chess came a robot chess -player, and out of the chess player came some kind of mechanical brain -that's useful in military strategy. _That's_ what Len Ellsom's in the -middle of. - -"Really brilliant mind," the boss said after we'd sawed for a while. -"Keen. But he's a little erratic--quirky, queer sense of humor. Isn't -that your impression?" - -"Definitely," I said. "I'd be the last one in the world to say a word -against Len, but he was always a little peculiar. Very gay one moment -and very sour the next, and inclined to poke fun at things other people -take seriously. He used to write poetry." - -"I'm very glad to know that," the boss said. "Confirms my own feeling -about him." - -So the boss has some doubts about Len. - - * * * * * - -_October 27, 1959_ - -Unpleasant evening with Len. It all started after dinner when he showed -up in my room, wagged his finger at me and said, "Ollie, you've been -avoiding me. That hurts. Thought we were pals, thick and thin and till -debt and death do us part." - -I saw immediately that he was drunk--he always gets his words mixed -up when he's drunk--and I tried to placate him by explaining that it -wasn't anything like that; I'd been busy. - -"If we're pals," he said, "come on and have a beer with me." - -There was no shaking him off, so I followed him down to his car and we -drove to this sleazy little bar in the Negro part of town. As soon as -we sat down in a booth, Len borrowed all the nickels I had, put them -in the jukebox and pressed the levers for a lot of old Louie Armstrong -records. - -"Sorry, kid," he said. "I know how you hate this real jazzy stuff, but -can't have a reunion without music, and there isn't a polka or cowboy -ballad or hillbilly stomp in the box. They lack the folksy touch on -this side of the tracks." Len has always been very snobbish about my -interest in folk music. - -I asked him what he'd been doing during the day. - -"Lushing it up," he said. "Getting stinking from drinking." He still -likes to use the most flamboyant slang; I consider it an infantile form -of protest against what he regards as the "genteel" manner of academic -people. "I got sort of restless this morning, so I ducked out and beat -it into New York and looked up my friend Steve Lundy in the Village. -Spent the afternoon liquidating our joint assets. Liquidating our -assets in the joints." - -What, I wanted to know, was he feeling restless about? - -"Restless for going on three years now." His face grew solemn, as -though he were thinking it over very carefully. "I'll amend that -statement. Hell with the Aesopian language. I've been a plain lush for -going on three years. Ever since--" - -If it was something personal--I suggested. - -"It is _not_ something personal," he said, mimicking me. "Guess I can -tell an old cyberneticist pal about it. Been a lush for three years -because I've been scared for three years. Been scared for three years -because three years ago I saw a machine beat a man at a game of chess." - -A machine that plays chess? That was interesting, I said. - -"Didn't tell you the whole truth the other day," Len mumbled. "I _did_ -work on the Remington-Rand computer, sure, but I didn't come to IFACS -directly from that. In between I spent a couple years at the Bell -Telephone Labs. Claude Shannon--or, rather, to begin with there was -Norbert Wiener back at M.I.T.--it's complicated...." - -"Look," I said, "are you sure you want to talk about it?" - -"Stop wearing your loyalty oath on your sleeve," he said belligerently. -"Sure I want to talk about it. Greatest subject I know. Begin at -the beginning. Whole thing started back in the Thirties with those -two refugee mathematicians who used to be here at the Institute for -Advanced Studies when Einstein was around. Von Morgan and Neumanstern, -no, Von _Neu_mann and _Mor_ganstern. You remember, they did a -mathematical analysis of all the possible kinds of games, poker, -tossing pennies, chess, bridge, everything, and they wrote up their -findings in a volume you certainly know, _The Theory of Games_. - -"Well, that got Wiener started. You may remember that when he founded -the science of cybernetics, he announced that on the basis of the -theory of games, it was feasible to design a robot computing machine -that would play a better than average game of chess. Right after that, -back in '49 or maybe it was '50, Claude Shannon of the Bell Labs said -Wiener wasn't just talking, and to prove it he was going to _build_ -the robot chess player. Which he proceeded withforth--forthwith--to -do. Sometime in '53, I was taken off the Remington-Rand project and -assigned to Bell to work with him." - -"Maybe we ought to start back," I cut in. "I've got a lot of work to -do." - -"The night is young," he said, "and you're so dutiful. Where was I? Oh -yes, Bell. At first our electronic pawn-pusher wasn't so hot--it could -beat the pants off a lousy player, but an expert just made it look -silly. But we kept improving it, see, building more and more electronic -anticipation and gambit-plotting powers into it, and finally, one great -day in '55, we thought we had all the kinks ironed out and were ready -for the big test. By this time, of course, Washington had stepped in -and taken over the whole project. - -"Well, we got hold of Fortunescu, the world's champion chess player, -sat him down and turned the robot loose on him. For four hours straight -we followed the match, with a delegation of big brass from Washington, -and for four hours straight the machine trounced Fortunescu every game. -That was when I began to get scared. I went out that night and got -really loaded." - -What had he been so scared about? It seemed to me he should have felt -happy. - -"Listen, Ollie," he said, "for Christ's sake, stop talking like a Boy -Scout for once in your life." - -If he was going to insult me-- - -"No insult intended. Just listen. I'm a terrible chess player. Any -five-year-old could chatemeck--checkmate--me with his brains tied -behind his back. But this machine which I built, helped build, is the -champion chess player of the world. In other words, my brain has given -birth to a brain which can do things my brain could never do. Don't you -find that terrifying?" - -"Not at all," I said. "_You_ made the machine, didn't you? Therefore, -no matter what it does, it's only an extension of you. You should feel -proud to have devised a powerful new tool." - -"Some tool," he sneered. He was so drunk by now that I could hardly -understand what he was saying. "The General Staff boys in Washington -were all hopped up about that little old tool, and for a plenty good -reason--they understood that mechanized warfare is only the most -complicated game the human race has invented so far, an elaborate form -of chess which uses the population of the world for pawns and the -globe for a chessboard. They saw, too, that when the game of war gets -this complex, the job of controlling and guiding it becomes too damned -involved for any number of human brains, no matter how nimble. - -"In other words, my beamish Boy Scout, modern war needs just this kind -of strategy tool; the General Staff has to be mechanized along with -everything else. So the Pentagon boys set up IFACS and handed us a -top-priority cybernetics project: to build a superduper chess player -that could oversee a complicated military maneuver, maybe later a whole -campaign, maybe ultimately a whole global war. - -"We're aiming at a military strategy machine which can digest reports -from all the units on all the fronts and from moment to moment, on -the basis of that steady stream of information, grind out an elastic -overall strategy and dictate concrete tactical directives to all the -units. Wiener warned this might happen, and he was right. A very nifty -tool. Never mind how far we've gotten with the thing, but I will tell -you this: I'm a lot more scared today than I was three years ago." - -So _that_ was the secret of MS! The most extraordinary machine ever -devised by the human mind! It was hard to conceal the thrill of -excitement I felt, even as a relative outsider. - -"Why all the jitters?" I said. "This could be the most wonderful tool -ever invented. It might eliminate war altogether." - -Len was quiet for a while, gulping his beer and looking off into space. -Then he turned to me. - -"Steve Lundy has a cute idea," he said. "He was telling me about it -this afternoon. He's a bum, you see, but he's got a damned good mind -and he's done a lot of reading. Among other things, he's smart enough -to see that once you've got your theory of games worked out, there's -at least the logical possibility of converting your Eniac into what -he calls a Strategy Integrator and Computer. And he's guessed, simply -from the Pentagon's hush-hush policy about it, that that's what we're -working on here at IFACS. So he holds forth on the subject of Emsiac, -and I listen." - -"What's his idea?" I asked. - -"He thinks Emsiac might eliminate war, too, but not in the way a -Boy Scout might think. What he says is that all the industrialized -nations must be working away like mad on Emsiac, just as they did on -the atom bomb, so let's assume that before long all the big countries -will have more or less equal MS machines. All right. A cold war gets -under way between countries A and B, and pretty soon it reaches the -showdown stage. Then both countries plug in their Emsiacs and let them -calculate the date on which hostilities should begin. If the machines -are equally efficient, they'll hit on the same date. If there's a -slight discrepancy, the two countries can work out a compromise date by -negotiation. - -"The day arrives. A's Emsiac is set up in its capital, B's is set up -in _its_ capital. In each capital the citizens gather around their -strategy machine, the officials turn out in high hats and cut-aways, -there are speeches, pageants, choral singing, mass dancing--the ritual -can be worked out in advance. Then, at an agreed time, the crowds -retreat to a safe distance and a committee of the top cyberneticists -appears. They climb into planes, take off and--this is beautiful--drop -all their atom bombs and H-bombs on the machines. It happens -simultaneously in both countries, you see. That's the neat part of it. -The occasion is called International Mushroom Day. - -"Then the cyberneticists in both countries go back to their vacuum -tubes to work on another Emsiac, and the nuclear physicists go back to -their piles to build more atom bombs, and when they're ready they have -another Mushroom Day. One Mushroom Day every few years, whenever the -diplomatic-strategic situation calls for it, and nobody even fires a -B-B gun. Scientific war. Isn't it wonderful?" - - * * * * * - -By the time Len finished this peculiar speech, I'd finally managed to -get him out of the tavern and back into his car. I started to drive him -back to the Institute, my ears still vibrating with the hysterical -yelps of Armstrong's trumpet. I'll never for the life of me understand -what Len sees in that kind of music. It seems to me such an unhealthy -sort of expression. - -"Lundy's being plain silly," I couldn't help saying. "What guarantee -has he got that on your Mushroom Day, Country B wouldn't make a great -display of destroying one Emsiac and one set of bombs while it had -others in hiding? It's too great a chance for A to take--she might be -throwing away all her defenses and laying herself wide open to attack." - -"See what I mean?" Len muttered. "You're a Boy Scout." Then he passed -out, without saying a word about Marilyn. Hard to tell if he sees -anything of her these days. He _does_ see some pretty peculiar people, -though. I'd like to know more about this Steve Lundy. - - * * * * * - -_November 2, 1959_ - -I've done it! Today I split up the lab into two entirely independent -operations, K and N. Did it all on my own authority, haven't breathed a -word about it to the boss yet. Here's my line of reasoning. - -On the K end, we can get results, and fast: if it's just a matter -of building a pro that works like the real leg, regardless of what -_makes_ it work, it's a cinch. But if it has to be worked by the -brain, through the spinal cord, the job is just about impossible. Who -knows if we'll ever learn enough about neuro tissue to build our own -physico-chemico-electrical substitutes for it? - -As I proved in my robot moths and bedbugs, I can work up electronic -circuits that seem to duplicate one particular function of animal -nerve tissue--one robot is attracted to light like a moth, the other -is repelled by light like a bedbug--but I don't know how to go about -duplicating the tissue itself in all its functions. And until we can -duplicate nerve tissue, there's no way to provide our artificial limbs -with a neuro-motor system that can be hooked up with the central -nervous system. The best I can do along those lines is ask Kujack to -kick and get a wriggle of the big toe instead. - -So the perspective is clear. Mechanically, kinesthetically, -motorically, I can manufacture a hell of a fine leg. Neurally, it would -take decades, centuries maybe, to get even a reasonable facsimile of -the original--and maybe it will never happen. It's not a project I'd -care to devote my life to. If Len Ellsom had been working on that sort -of thing, he wouldn't have gotten his picture in the paper so often, -you can be sure. - -So, in line with this perspective, I've divided the whole operation -into two separate labs, K-Pro and N-Pro. I'm taking charge of K-Pro -myself, since it intrigues me more and I've got these ideas about -using solenoids to get lifelike movements. With any kind of luck I'll -soon have a peach of a mechanical limb, motor-driven and with its own -built-in power plant, operated by push-button. Before Christmas, I hope. - -Got just the right man to take over the neuro lab--Goldweiser, my -assistant. I weighed the thing from every angle before I made up my -mind, since his being Jewish makes the situation very touchy: some -people will be snide enough to say I picked him to be a potential -scapegoat. Well, Goldweiser, no matter what his origins may be, is the -best neuro man I know. - -Of course, personally--although my personal feelings don't enter into -the picture at all--I _am_ just a bit leery of the fellow. Have been -ever since that first log-cutting expedition, when he began to talk in -such a peculiar way about needing to relax and then laughed so hard -at Len's jokes. That sort of talk always indicates to me a lack of -reverence for your job: if a thing's worth doing at all, etc. - -Of course, I don't mean that Goldweiser's cynical attitude has anything -to do with his being Jewish; Len's got the same attitude and he's -_not_ Jewish. Still, this afternoon, when I told Goldweiser he's going -to head up the N-Pro lab, he sort of bowed and said, "That's quite a -promotion. I always did want to be God." - -I didn't like that remark at all. If I'd had another neuro man as good -as he is, I'd have withdrawn the promotion immediately. It's his luck -that I'm tolerant, that's all. - - * * * * * - -_November 6, 1959_ - -Lunch with Len today, at my invitation. Bought him several Martinis, -then brought up Lundy's name and asked who he was, he sounded -interesting. - -"Steve?" Len said. "I roomed with him my first year in New York." - -I asked what Steve did, exactly. - -"Reads, mostly. He got into the habit back in the 30s, when he was -studying philosophy at the University of Chicago. When the Civil War -broke out in Spain, he signed up with the Lincoln Brigade and went over -there to fight, but it turned out to be a bad mistake. His reading got -him in a lot of trouble, you see; he'd gotten used to asking all sorts -of questions, so when the Moscow Trials came along, he asked about -them. Then the N.K.V.D. began to pop up all over Spain, and he asked -about it. - -"His comrades, he discovered, didn't like guys who kept asking -questions. In fact, a couple of Steve's friends who had also had an -inquiring streak were found dead at the front, shot in the _back_, -and Steve got the idea that he was slated for the same treatment. -It seemed that people who asked questions were called saboteurs, -Trotskyite-Fascists or something, and they kept dying at an alarming -rate." - -I ordered another Martini for Len and asked how Steve had managed to -save himself. - -"He beat it across the mountains into France," Len explained. "Since -then he's steered clear of causes. He goes to sea once in a while -to make a few bucks, drinks a lot, reads a lot, asks some of the -shrewdest questions I know. If he's anything you can put a label on, -I'd say he was a touch of Rousseau, a touch of Tolstoi, plenty of -Voltaire. Come to think of it, a touch of Norbert Wiener too. Wiener, -you may remember, used to ask some damned iconoclastic questions for a -cyberneticist. Steve knows Wiener's books by heart." - -Steve sounded like a very colorful fellow, I suggested. - -"Yep," Len said. "Marilyn used to think so." I don't think I moved a -muscle when he said it; the smile didn't leave my face. "Ollie," Len -went on, "I've been meaning to speak to you about Marilyn. Now that the -subject's come up--" - -"I've forgotten all about it," I assured him. - -"I still want to set you straight," he insisted. "It must have looked -funny, me moving down to New York after commencement and Marilyn giving -up her job in the lab and following two days later. But never mind -_how_ it looked. I never made a pass at her all that time in Boston, -Ollie. That's the truth. But she was a screwy, scatter-brained dame and -she decided she was stuck on me because I dabbled in poetry and hung -around with artists and such in the Village, and she thought it was all -so glamorous. I didn't have anything to do with her chasing down to New -York, no kidding. You two were sort of engaged, weren't you?" - -"It really doesn't matter," I said. "You don't have to explain." I -finished my drink. "You say she knew Lundy?" - -"Sure, she knew Lundy. She also knew Kram, Rossard, Broyold, Boster, De -Kroot and Hayre. She knew a whole lot of guys before she was through." - -"She always was sociable." - -"You don't get my meaning," Len said. "I am not talking about Marilyn's -gregarious impulses. Listen. First she threw herself at me, but I got -tired of her. Then she threw herself at Steve and _he_ got tired of -her. Damn near the whole male population of the Village got tired of -her in the next couple years." - -"Those were troubled times. The war and all." - -"They were troubled times," Len agreed, "and she was the source of -a fair amount of the trouble. You were well rid of her, Ollie, take -my word for it. God save us from the intense Boston female who goes -bohemian--the icicle parading as the torch." - -"Just as a matter of academic curiosity," I said as we were leaving, -"what became of her?" - -"I don't know for sure. During her Village phase she decided her -creative urge was hampered by compasses and T-squares, and in -between men she tried to do a bit of painting--very abstract, very -imitative-original, very hammy. I heard later that she finally gave up -the self-expression kick, moved up to the East Seventies somewhere. If -I remember, she got a job doing circuit designing on some project for -I.B.M." - -"She's probably doing well at it," I said. "She certainly knew her -drafting. You know, she helped lay out the circuits for the first robot -bedbug I ever built." - - * * * * * - -_November 19, 1959_ - -Big step forward, if it isn't unseemly to use a phrase like that in -connection with Pro research. This afternoon we completed the first -two experimental models of my self-propelled solenoid legs, made of -transparent plastic so everything is visible--solenoids, batteries, -motors, thyratron tubes and transistors. - -Kujack was waiting in the fitting room to give them their first tryout, -but when I got there I found Len sitting with him. There were several -empty beer cans on the floor and they were gabbing away a mile a minute. - -Len _knows_ how I hate to see people drinking during working hours. -When I put the pros down and began to rig them for fitting, he said -conspiratorially, "Shall we tell him?" - -Kujack was pretty crocked, too. "Let's tell him," he whispered back. -Strange thing about Kujack, he hardly ever says a word to me, but he -never closes his mouth when Len's around. - -"All right," Len said. "_You_ tell him. Tell him how we're going to -bring peace on Earth and good will toward bedbugs." - -"We just figured it out," Kujack said. "What's wrong with war. It's a -steamroller." - -"Steamrollers are very undemocratic," Len added. "Never consult people -on how they like to be flattened before flattening them. They just go -rolling along." - -"Just go rolling, they go on rolling along," Kujack said. "Like Old Man -River." - -"What's the upshot?" Len demanded. "People get upshot, shot up. In all -countries, all of them without exception, they emerge from the war -spiritually flattened, a little closer to the insects--like the hero in -that Kafka story who wakes up one morning to find he's a bedbug, I mean -beetle. All because they've been steamrolled. Nobody consulted them." - -"Take the case of an amputee," Kujack said. "Before the land mine -exploded, it didn't stop and say, 'Look, friend, I've got to go off; -that's my job. Choose which part you'd prefer to have blown off--arm, -leg, ear, nose, or what-have-you. Or is there somebody else around who -would relish being clipped more than you would? If so, just send him -along. I've got to do some clipping, you see, but it doesn't matter -much which part of which guy I clip, so long as I make my quota.' Did -the land mine say that? No! The victim wasn't consulted. Consequently -he can feel victimized, full of self-pity. We just worked it out." - -"The whole thing," Len said. "If the population had been polled -according to democratic procedure, the paraplegia and other maimings -could have been distributed to each according to his psychological -need. See the point? Marx corrected by Freud, as Steve Lundy would -say. Distribute the injuries to each according to his need--not his -economic need, but his masochistic need. Those with a special taste -for self-damage obviously should be allowed a lion's share of it. That -way nobody could claim he'd been victimized by the steamroller or got -anything he didn't ask for. It's all on a voluntary basis, you see. -Democratic." - -"Whole new concept of war," Kujack agreed. "Voluntary amputeeism, -voluntary paraplegia, voluntary everything else that usually happens to -people in a war. Just to get some human dignity back into the thing." - -"Here's how it works," Len went on. "Country A and Country B reach the -breaking point. It's all over but the shooting. All right. So they pool -their best brains, mathematicians, actuaries, strategists, logistics -geniuses, and all. What am I saying? They pool their best _robot_ -brains, their Emsiacs. In a matter of seconds they figure out, down -to the last decimal point, just how many casualties each side can be -expected to suffer in dead and wounded, and then they break down the -figures. Of the wounded, they determine just how many will lose eyes, -how many arms, how many legs, and so on down the line. Now--here's -where it gets really neat--each country, having established its -quotas in dead and wounded of all categories, can send out a call for -volunteers." - -"Less messy that way," Kujack said. "An efficiency expert's war. War on -an actuarial basis." - -"You get exactly the same results as in a shooting war," Len insisted. -"Just as many dead, wounded and psychologically messed up. But you -avoid the whole steamroller effect. A tidy war, war with dispatch, -conceived in terms of ends rather than means. The end never did justify -the means, you see; Steve Lundy says that was always the great dilemma -of politics. So with one fool sweep--fell swoop--we get rid of means -entirely." - -"As things stand with me," Kujack said, "if _anything_ stands with me, -I might get to feeling sore about what happened to me. But nothing -happens _to_ the volunteer amputee. He steps up to the operating -table and says, 'Just chop off one arm, Doc, the left one, please, -up to the elbow if you don't mind, and in return put me down for -one-and-two-thirds free meals daily at Longchamps and a plump blonde -every Saturday.'" - -"Or whatever the exchange value for one slightly used left arm would -be," Len amended. "That would have to be worked out by the robot -actuaries." - -By this time I had the pros fitted and the push-button controls -installed in the side pocket of Kujack's jacket. - -"Maybe you'd better go now, Len," I said. I was very careful to show no -reaction to his baiting. "Kujack and I have some work to do." - -"I hope you'll make him a moth instead of a bedbug," Len said as he got -up. "Kujack's just beginning to see the light. Be a shame if you give -him a negative tropism to it instead of a positive one." He turned to -Kujack, wobbling a little. "So long, kid. I'll pick you up at seven and -we'll drive into New York to have a few with Steve. He's going to be -very happy to hear we've got the whole thing figured out." - -I spent two hours with Kujack, getting him used to the extremely -delicate push-button controls. I must say that, drunk or sober, -he's a very apt pupil. In less than two hours he actually walked! A -little unsteadily, to be sure, but his balance will get better as he -practices and I iron out a few more bugs, and I _don't_ mean bedbugs. - -For a final test, I put a little egg cup on the floor, balanced a -football in it, and told Kujack to try a place kick. What a moment! He -booted that ball so hard, it splintered the mirror on the wall. - - * * * * * - -_November 27, 1959_ - -Long talk with the boss. I gave it to him straight about breaking up -the lab into K-Pro and N-Pro, and about there being little chance that -Goldweiser would come up with anything much on the neuro end for a -long, long time. He was awfully let down, I could see, so I started to -talk fast about the luck I'd been having on the kinesthetic end. When -he began to perk up, I called Kujack in from the corridor and had him -demonstrate his place kick. - -He's gotten awfully good at it this past week. - -"If we release the story to the press," I suggested, "this might make -a fine action shot. You see, Kujack used to be one of the best kickers -in the Big Ten, and a lot of newspapermen will still remember him." -Then I sprang the biggest news of all. "During the last three days of -practice, sir, he's been consistently kicking the ball twenty, thirty -and even forty yards farther than he ever did with his own legs. Than -anybody, as a matter of fact, ever has with real legs." - -"That's a wonderful angle," the boss said excitedly. "A world's record, -made with a cybernetic leg!" - -"It should make a terrific picture," Kujack said. "I've also been -practicing a big, broad, photogenic grin." Luckily the boss didn't hear -him--by this time he was bending over the legs, studying the solenoids. - -After Kujack left, the boss congratulated me. Very, _very_ warmly. It -was a most gratifying moment. We chatted for a while, making plans for -the press conference, and then finally he said, "By the way, do you -happen to know anything about your friend Ellsom? I'm worried about -him. He went off on Thanksgiving and hasn't been heard from at all ever -since." - -That was alarming, I said. When the boss asked why, I told him a -little about how Len had been acting lately, talking and drinking more -than was good for him. With all sorts of people. The boss said that -confirmed his own impressions. - -I can safely say we understood each other. I sensed a very definite -rapport. - - * * * * * - -_November 30, 1959_ - -It was bound to happen, of course. As I got it from the boss, he -decided after our talk that Len's absence needed some looking into, and -he tipped off Security about it. A half dozen agents went to work on -the case and right off they headed for Steve Lundy's apartment in the -Village and, sure enough, there was Len. - -Len and his friend were both blind drunk and there were all sorts of -incriminating things in the room--lots of peculiar books and pamphlets, -Lundy's identification papers from the Lincoln Brigade, an article -Lundy was writing for an anarchist-pacifist magazine about what he -calls Emsiac. Len and his friend were both arrested on the spot and a -full investigation is going on now. - -The boss says that no matter whether Len is brought to trial or not, -he's all washed up. He'll never get a job on any classified cybernetics -project from now on, because it's clear enough that he violated his -loyalty oath by discussing MS all over the place. - -The Security men came around to question me this morning. Afraid my -testimony didn't help Len's case any. What could I do? I had to own up -that, to my knowledge, Len had violated Security on three counts: he'd -discussed MS matters with Kujack in my presence, with Lundy (according -to what he told me), and of course with me (I am technically an -outsider, too). I also pointed out that I'd tried to make him shut up, -but there was no stopping him once he got going. Damn that Len, anyhow. -Why does he have to go and put me in this ethical spot? It shows a lack -of consideration. - -These Security men can be _too_ thorough. Right off they wanted to pick -up Kujack as well. - -I got hold of the boss and explained that if they took Kujack away we'd -have to call off our press conference, because it would take months to -fit and train another subject. - -The boss immediately saw the injustice of the thing, stepped in and got -Security to calm down, at least until we finish our demonstration. - - * * * * * - -_December 23, 1959_ - -What a day! The press conference this afternoon was _something_. Dozens -of reporters and photographers and newsreel men showed up, and we took -them all out to the football field for the demonstrations. First the -boss gave a little orientation talk about cybernetics being teamwork in -science, and about the difference between K-Pro and N-Pro, pointing -out that from the practical, humanitarian angle of helping the amputee, -K is a lot more important than N. - -The reporters tried to get in some questions about MS, but he parried -them very good-humoredly, and he said some nice things about me, some -very nice things indeed. - -Then Kujack was brought in. He really went through his paces, walking, -running, skipping, jumping and everything. It was damned impressive. -And then, to top off the show, Kujack place-kicked a football -ninety-three yards by actual measurement, a world's record, and -everybody went wild. - -Afterward Kujack and I posed for the newsreels, shaking hands while the -boss stood with his arms around us. They're going to play the whole -thing up as IFACS' Christmas present to one of our gallant war heroes -(just what the boss wanted: he figures this sort of things makes IFACS -sound so much less grim to the public), and Kujack was asked to say -something in line with that idea. - -"I never could kick this good with my real legs," he said, holding my -hand tight and looking straight at me. "Gosh, this is just about the -nicest Christmas present a fellow could get. Thank you, Santa." - -I thought he was overdoing it a bit toward the end there, but the -newsreel men say they think it's a great sentimental touch. - -Goldweiser was in the crowd, and he said, "I only hope that when _I_ -prove I'm God, this many photographers will show up." That's just about -the kind of remark I'd expect from Goldweiser. - -Too bad the Security men are coming for Kujack tomorrow. The boss -couldn't argue. After all, they were patient enough to wait until after -the tests and demonstration, which the boss and I agree was white of -them. It's not as if Kujack isn't deeply involved in this Ellsom-Lundy -case. As the boss says, you can tell a man by the company, etc. - - * * * * * - -_December 25, 1959_ - -Spent the morning clipping pictures and articles from the papers; they -gave us _quite_ a spread. Late in the afternoon I went over to the -boss's house for eggnogs, and I finally got up the nerve to say what's -been on my mind for over a month now. Strike while the iron's, etc. - -"I've been thinking, sir," I said, "that this solenoid system I've -worked out for Pros has other applications. For example, it could -easily be adapted to some of the tricky mechanical aspects of an -electronic calculator." I went into some of the technical details -briefly, and I could see he was interested. "I'd like very much to work -on that, now that K-Pro is licked, more or less. And if there _is_ an -opening in MS--" - -"You're a go-getter," the boss said, nodding in a pleased way. He was -looking at a newspaper lying on the coffee table; on the front page was -a large picture of Kujack grinning at me and shaking my hand. "I like -that. I can't promise anything, but let me think about it." - -I think I'm in! - - * * * * * - -_December 27, 1959_ - -Sent the soup-and-fish out be cleaned and pressed. Looks like I'm going -to get some use out of it, after all. We're having a big formal New -Year's Eve party in the commons room and there's going to be square -dancing, swing-your-partner, and all of that. When I called Marilyn, -she sounded very friendly--she remembered to call me Oliver, and I was -flattered that she did--and said she'd be delighted to come. Seems -she's gotten very fond of folk dancing lately. - -Gosh, it'll be good to get out of these dungarees for a while. I'm -happy to say I still look good in formals. Marilyn ought to be quite -impressed. Len always wore his like pajamas. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Self Portrait, by Bernard Wolfe - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SELF PORTRAIT *** - -***** This file should be named 51534.txt or 51534.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/5/3/51534/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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