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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #51483 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51483)
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-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reluctant Heroes, by Frank M. Robinson
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Reluctant Heroes
-
-Author: Frank M. Robinson
-
-Release Date: March 17, 2016 [EBook #51483]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RELUCTANT HEROES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
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-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="386" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>The Reluctant Heroes</h1>
-
-<p>By FRANK M. ROBINSON</p>
-
-<p>Illustrated by DON SIBLEY</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Galaxy Science Fiction January 1951.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus1.jpg" width="600" height="173" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p class="ph3">Pioneers have always resented their wanderlust, hated<br />
-their hardships. But the future brings a new grudge&mdash;when<br />
-pioneers stay put and scholars do the exploring!</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p><i>The very young man sat on the edge of the sofa and looked nervous. He
-carefully studied his fingernails and ran his hands through his hair
-and picked imaginary lint off the upholstery.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I have a chance to go with the first research expedition to Venus,"
-he said.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The older man studied the very young man thoughtfully and then leaned
-over to his humidor and offered him a cigaret. "It's nice to have the
-new air units now. There was a time when we had to be very careful
-about things like smoking."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The very young man was annoyed.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I don't think I want to go," he blurted. "I don't think I would care
-to spend two years there."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The older man blew a smoke ring and watched it drift toward the air
-exhaust vent.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"You mean you would miss it here, the people you've known and grown
-up with, the little familiar things that have made up your life here.
-You're afraid the glamor would wear off and you would get to hate it on
-Venus."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The very young man nodded miserably. "I guess that's it."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"Anything else?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The very young man found his fingernails extremely fascinating again
-and finally said, in a low voice, "Yes, there is."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"A girl?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>A nod confirmed this.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>It was the older man's turn to look thoughtful. "You know, I'm sure,
-that psychologists and research men agree that research stations should
-be staffed by couples. That is, of course, as soon as it's practical."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"But that might be a long time!" the very young man protested.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"It might be&mdash;but sometimes it's sooner than you think. And the goal
-is worth it."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I suppose so, but&mdash;"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The older man smiled. "Still the reluctant heroes," he said, somewhat
-to himself.</i></p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Chapman stared at the radio key.</p>
-
-<p>Three years on the Moon and they didn't want him to come back.</p>
-
-<p>Three years on the Moon and they thought he'd be glad to stay for more.
-Just raise his salary or give him a bonus, the every-man-has-his-price
-idea. They probably thought he liked it there.</p>
-
-<p>Oh, sure, he loved it. Canned coffee, canned beans, canned pills,
-and canned air until your insides felt as though they were plated
-with tin. Life in a cramped, smelly little hut where you could take
-only ten steps in any one direction. Their little scientific home of
-tomorrow with none of the modern conveniences, a charming place where
-you couldn't take a shower, couldn't brush your teeth, and your kidneys
-didn't work right.</p>
-
-<p>And for double his salary they thought he'd be glad to stay for another
-year and a half. Or maybe three. He should probably be glad he had the
-opportunity.</p>
-
-<p>The key started to stutter again, demanding an answer.</p>
-
-<p>He tapped out his reply: "<i>No!</i>"</p>
-
-<p>There was a silence and then the key stammered once more in a sudden
-fit of bureaucratic rage. Chapman stuffed a rag under it and ignored
-it. He turned to the hammocks, strung against the bulkhead on the other
-side of the room.</p>
-
-<p>The chattering of the key hadn't awakened anybody; they were still
-asleep, making the animal noises that people usually make in slumber.
-Dowden, half in the bottom hammock and half on the floor, was snoring
-peacefully. Dahl, the poor kid who was due for stopover, was mumbling
-to himself. Julius Klein, with that look of ineffable happiness on his
-face, looked as if he had just squirmed under the tent to his personal
-idea of heaven. Donley and Bening were lying perfectly still, their
-covers not mussed, sleeping very lightly.</p>
-
-<p>Lord, Chapman thought, I'll be happy when I can see some other faces.</p>
-
-<p>"What'd they want?" Klein had one eyelid open and a questioning look on
-his face.</p>
-
-<p>"They wanted me to stay until the next relief ship lands," Chapman
-whispered back.</p>
-
-<p>"What did you say?"</p>
-
-<p>He shrugged. "No."</p>
-
-<p>"You kept it short," somebody else whispered. It was Donley, up and
-sitting on the side of his hammock. "If it had been me, I would have
-told them just what they could do about it."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The others were awake now, with the exception of Dahl who had his face
-to the bulkhead and a pillow over his head.</p>
-
-<p>Dowden rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Sore, aren't you?"</p>
-
-<p>"Kind of. Who wouldn't be?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, don't let it throw you. They've never been here on the Moon.
-They don't know what it's like. All they're trying to do is get a good
-man to stay on the job a while longer."</p>
-
-<p>"<i>All</i> they're trying to do," Chapman said sarcastically. "They've got
-a fat chance."</p>
-
-<p>"They think you've found a home here," Donley said.</p>
-
-<p>"Why the hell don't you guys shut up until morning?" Dahl was awake,
-looking bitter. "Some of us still have to stay here, you know. Some of
-us aren't going back today."</p>
-
-<p>No, Chapman thought, some of us aren't going back. You aren't. And
-Dixon's staying, too. Only Dixon isn't ever going back.</p>
-
-<p>Klein jerked his thumb toward Dahl's bunk, held a finger to his lips,
-and walked noiselessly over to the small electric stove. It was his day
-for breakfast duty.</p>
-
-<p>The others started lacing up their bunks, getting ready for their last
-day of work on the Moon. In a few hours they'd be relieved by members
-of the Third research group and they'd be on their way back to Earth.</p>
-
-<p>And that includes me, Chapman thought. I'm going home. I'm finally
-going home.</p>
-
-<p>He walked silently to the one small, quartz window in the room. It was
-morning&mdash;the Moon's "morning"&mdash;and he shivered slightly. The rays of
-the Sun were just striking the far rim of the crater and long shadows
-shot across the crater floor. The rest of it was still blanketed in
-a dark jumble of powdery pumice and jagged peaks that would make the
-Black Hills of Dakota look like paradise.</p>
-
-<p>A hundred yards from the research bunker he could make out the small
-mound of stones and the forlorn homemade cross, jury-rigged out of
-small condensed milk tins slid over crossed iron bars. You could still
-see the footprints in the powdery soil where the group had gathered
-about the grave. It had been more than eighteen months ago, but there
-was no wind to wear those tracks away. They'd be there forever.</p>
-
-<p>That's what happened to guys like Dixon, Chapman thought. On the Moon,
-one mistake could use up your whole quota of chances.</p>
-
-<p>Klein came back with the coffee. Chapman took a cup, gagged, and forced
-himself to swallow the rest of it. It had been in the can for so long
-you could almost taste the glue on the label.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Donley was warming himself over his cup, looking thoughtful. Dowden and
-Bening were struggling into their suits, getting ready to go outside.
-Dahl was still sitting on his hammock, trying to ignore them.</p>
-
-<p>"Think we ought to radio the space station and see if they've left
-there yet?" Klein asked.</p>
-
-<p>"I talked to them on the last call," Chapman said. "The relief ship
-left there twelve hours ago. They should get here"&mdash;he looked at his
-watch&mdash;"in about six and a half hours."</p>
-
-<p>"Chap, you know, I've been thinking," Donley said quietly. "You've
-been here just twice as long as the rest of us. What's the first thing
-you're going to do once you get back?"</p>
-
-<p>It hit them, then. Dowden and Bening looked blank for a minute and
-blindly found packing cases to sit on. The top halves of their suits
-were still hanging on the bulkhead. Klein lowered his coffee cup and
-looked grave. Even Dahl glanced up expectantly.</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know," Chapman said slowly. "I guess I was trying not to think
-of that. I suppose none of us have. We've been like little kids who
-have waited so long for Christmas that they just can't believe it when
-it's finally Christmas Eve."</p>
-
-<p>Klein nodded in agreement. "I haven't been here three years like you
-have, but I think I know what you mean." He warmed up to it as the idea
-sank in. "Just what the hell <i>are</i> you going to do?"</p>
-
-<p>"Nothing very spectacular," Chapman said, smiling. "I'm going to rent
-a room over Times Square, get a recording of a rikky-tik piano, and
-drink and listen to the music and watch the people on the street below.
-Then I think I'll see somebody."</p>
-
-<p>"Who's the somebody?" Donley asked.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman grinned. "Oh, just somebody. What are you going to do, Dick?"</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I'm going to do something practical. First of all, I want to
-turn over all my geological samples to the government. Then I'm going
-to sell my life story to the movies and then&mdash;why, then, I think I'll
-get drunk!"</p>
-
-<p>Everybody laughed and Chapman turned to Klein.</p>
-
-<p>"How about you, Julius?"</p>
-
-<p>Klein looked solemn. "Like Dick, I'll first get rid of my obligations
-to the expedition. Then I think I'll go home and see my wife."</p>
-
-<p>They were quiet. "I thought all members of the groups were supposed to
-be single," Donley said.</p>
-
-<p>"They are. And I can see their reasons for it. But who could pass up
-the money the Commission was paying?"</p>
-
-<p>"If I had to do it all over again? Me," said Donley promptly.</p>
-
-<p>They laughed. Somebody said: "Go play your record, Chap. Today's the
-day for it."</p>
-
-<p>The phonograph was a small, wind-up model that Chapman had smuggled in
-when he had landed with the First group. The record was old and the
-shellac was nearly worn off, but the music was good.</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-<p>Way Back Home by Al Lewis.</p></div>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They ran through it twice. They were beginning to feel it now, Chapman
-thought. They were going to go home in a little while and the idea was
-just starting to sink in.</p>
-
-<p>"You know, Chap," Donley said, "it won't seem like the same old Moon
-without you on it. Why, we'll look at it when we're out spooning or
-something and it just won't have the same old appeal."</p>
-
-<p>"Like they say in the army," Bening said, "you never had it so good.
-You found a home here."</p>
-
-<p>The others chimed in and Chapman grinned. Yesterday or a week ago they
-couldn't have done it. He had been there too long and he had hated it
-too much.</p>
-
-<p>The party quieted down after a while and Dowden and Bening finished
-getting into their suits. They still had a section of the sky to map
-before they left. Donley was right after them. There was an outcropping
-of rock that he wanted a sample of and some strata he wished to
-investigate.</p>
-
-<p>And the time went faster when you kept busy.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus2.jpg" width="600" height="339" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Chapman stopped them at the lock. "Remember to check your suits for
-leaks," he warned. "And check the valves of your oxygen tanks."</p>
-
-<p>Donley looked sour. "I've gone out at least five hundred times," he
-said, "and you check me each time."</p>
-
-<p>"And I'd check you five hundred more," Chapman said. "It takes only
-one mistake. And watch out for blisters under the pumice crust. You go
-through one of those and that's it, brother."</p>
-
-<p>Donley sighed. "Chap, you watch us like an old mother hen. You see we
-check our suits, you settle our arguments, you see that we're not bored
-and that we stay healthy and happy. I think you'd blow our noses for us
-if we caught cold. But some day, Chap old man, you're gonna find out
-that your little boys can watch out for themselves!"</p>
-
-<p>But he checked his suit for leaks and tested the valve of his tank
-before he left.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus3.jpg" width="320" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Only Klein and Chapman were left in the bunker. Klein was at the work
-table, carefully labeling some lichen specimens.</p>
-
-<p>"I never knew you were married," Chapman said.</p>
-
-<p>Klein didn't look up. "There wasn't much sense in talking about it. You
-just get to thinking and wanting&mdash;and there's nothing you can do about
-it. You talk about it and it just makes it worse."</p>
-
-<p>"She let you go without any fuss, huh?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, she didn't make any fuss. But I don't think she liked to see me
-go, either." He laughed a little. "At least I hope she didn't."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>They were silent for a while. "What do you miss most, Chap?" Klein
-asked. "Oh, I know what we said a little while ago, but I mean
-seriously."</p>
-
-<p>Chapman thought a minute. "I think I miss the sky," he said quietly.
-"The blue sky and the green grass and trees with leaves on them that
-turn color in the Fall. I think, when I go back, that I'd like to go
-out in a rain storm and strip and feel the rain on my skin."</p>
-
-<p>He stopped, feeling embarrassed. Klein's expression was encouraging.
-"And then I think I'd like to go downtown and just watch the shoppers
-on the sidewalks. Or maybe go to a burlesque house and smell the cheap
-perfume and the popcorn and the people sweating in the dark."</p>
-
-<p>He studied his hands. "I think what I miss most is people&mdash;all kinds
-of people. Bad people and good people and fat people and thin people,
-and people I can't understand. People who wouldn't know an atom from an
-artichoke. And people who wouldn't give a damn. We're a quarter of a
-million miles from nowhere, Julius, and to make it literary, I think I
-miss my fellow man more than anything."</p>
-
-<p>"Got a girl back home?" Klein asked almost casually.</p>
-
-<p>"Yes."</p>
-
-<p>"You're not like Dahl. You've never mentioned it."</p>
-
-<p>"Same reason you didn't mention your wife. You get to thinking about
-it."</p>
-
-<p>Klein flipped the lid on the specimen box. "Going to get married when
-you get back?"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman was at the port again, staring out at the bleak landscape. "We
-hope to."</p>
-
-<p>"Settle down in a small cottage and raise lots of little Chapmans, eh?"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman nodded.</p>
-
-<p>"That's the only future," Klein said.</p>
-
-<p>He put away the box and came over to the port. Chapman moved over so
-they both could look out.</p>
-
-<p>"Chap." Klein hesitated a moment. "What happened to Dixon?"</p>
-
-<p>"He died," Chapman said. "He was a good kid, all wrapped up in science.
-Being on the Moon was the opportunity of a lifetime. He thought so much
-about it that he forgot a lot of little things&mdash;like how to stay alive.
-The day before the Second group came, he went out to finish some work
-he was interested in. He forgot to check for leaks and whether or not
-the valve on his tank was all the way closed. We couldn't get to him in
-time."</p>
-
-<p>"He had his walkie-talkie with him?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes. It worked fine, too. We heard everything that went through his
-mind at the end."</p>
-
-<p>Klein's face was blank. "What's your real job here, Chap? Why does
-somebody have to stay for stopover?"</p>
-
-<p>"Hell, lots of reasons, Julius. You can't get a whole relief crew and
-let them take over cold. They have to know where you left off. They
-have to know where things are, how things work, what to watch out for.
-And then, because you've been here a year and a half and know the
-ropes, you have to watch them to see that they stay alive in spite of
-themselves. The Moon's a new environment and you have to learn how to
-live in it. There's a lot of things to learn&mdash;and some people just
-never learn."</p>
-
-<p>"You're nursemaid, then."</p>
-
-<p>"I suppose you could call it that."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Klein said, "You're not a scientist, are you?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, you should know that. I came as the pilot of the first ship. We
-made the bunker out of parts of the ship so there wasn't anything to
-go back on. I'm a good mechanic and I made myself useful with the
-machinery. When it occurred to us that somebody was going to have to
-stay over, I volunteered. I thought the others were so important that
-it was better they should take their samples and data back to Earth
-when the first relief ship came."</p>
-
-<p>"You wouldn't do it again, though, would you?"</p>
-
-<p>"No, I wouldn't."</p>
-
-<p>"Do you think Dahl will do as good a job as you've done here?"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman frowned. "Frankly, I hadn't thought of that. I don't believe
-I care. I've put in my time; it's somebody else's turn now. He
-volunteered for it. I think I was fair in explaining all about the job
-when you talked it over among yourselves."</p>
-
-<p>"You did, but I don't think Dahl's the man for it. He's too young, too
-much of a kid. He volunteered because he thought it made him look like
-a hero. He doesn't have the judgment that an older man would have. That
-you have."</p>
-
-<p>Chapman turned slowly around and faced Klein.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not the indispensable man," he said slowly, "and even if I was, it
-wouldn't make any difference to me. I'm sorry if Dahl is young. So was
-I. I've lost three years up here. And I don't intend to lose any more."</p>
-
-<p>Klein held up his hands. "Look, Chap, I didn't mean you should stay. I
-know how much you hate it and the time you put in up here. It's just&mdash;"
-His voice trailed away. "It's just that I think it's such a damn
-important job."</p>
-
-<p>Klein had gone out in a last search for rock lichens and Chapman
-enjoyed one of his relatively few moments of privacy. He wandered over
-to his bunk and opened his barracks bag. He checked the underwear and
-his toothbrush and shaving kit for maybe the hundredth time and pushed
-the clothing down farther in the canvas. It was foolish because the
-bag was already packed and had been for a week. He remembered stalling
-it off for as long as he could and then the quiet satisfaction about a
-week before, when he had opened his small gear locker and transferred
-its meager belongings to the bag.</p>
-
-<p>He hadn't actually needed to pack, of course. In less than twenty-four
-hours he'd be back on Earth where he could drown himself in toothpaste
-and buy more tee shirts than he could wear in a lifetime. He could
-leave behind his shorts and socks and the outsize shirts he had
-inherited from&mdash;who was it? Driesbach?&mdash;of the First group. Dahl could
-probably use them or maybe one of the boys in the Third.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>But it wasn't like going home unless you packed. It was part of the
-ritual, like marking off the last three weeks in pencil on the gray
-steel of the bulkhead beside his hammock. Just a few hours ago, when he
-woke up, he had made the last check mark and signed his name and the
-date. His signature was right beneath Dixon's.</p>
-
-<p>He frowned when he thought of Dixon and slid back the catch on the top
-of the bag and locked it. They should never have sent a kid like Dixon
-to the Moon.</p>
-
-<p>He had just locked the bag when he heard the rumble of the airlock and
-the soft hiss of air. Somebody had come back earlier than expected. He
-watched the inner door swing open and the spacesuited figure clump in
-and unscrew its helmet.</p>
-
-<p>Dahl. He had gone out to help Dowden on the Schmidt telescope. Maybe
-Dowden hadn't needed any help, with Bening along. Or more likely,
-considering the circumstances, Dahl wasn't much good at helping anybody
-today.</p>
-
-<p>Dahl stripped off his suit. His face was covered with light beads of
-sweat and his eyes were frightened.</p>
-
-<p>He moistened his lips slightly. "Do&mdash;do you think they'll ever have
-relief ships up here more often than every eighteen months, Chap? I
-mean, considering the advance of&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"No," Chapman interrupted bluntly. "I don't. Not at least for ten
-years. The fuel's too expensive and the trip's too hazardous. On
-freight charges alone you're worth your weight in platinum when they
-send you here. Even if it becomes cheaper, Bob, it won't come about
-so it will shorten stopover right away." He stopped, feeling a little
-sorry for Dahl. "It won't be too bad. There'll be new men up here and
-you'll pass a lot of time getting to know them."</p>
-
-<p>"Well, you see," Dahl started, "that's why I came back early. I wanted
-to see you about stopover. It's that&mdash;well, I'll put it this way." He
-seemed to be groping for an easy way to say what he wanted to. "I'm
-engaged back home. Really nice girl, Chap, you'd like her if you knew
-her." He fumbled in his pocket and found a photograph and put it on
-the desk. "That's a picture of Alice, taken at a picnic we were on
-together." Chapman didn't look. "She&mdash;we&mdash;expected to be married when
-I got back. I never told her about stopover, Chap. She thinks I'll be
-home tomorrow. I kept thinking, hoping, that maybe somehow&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He was fumbling it badly, Chapman thought.</p>
-
-<p>"You wanted to trade places with me, didn't you, Bob? You thought I
-might stay for stopover again, in your place?"</p>
-
-<p>It hurt to look in Dahl's eyes. They were the eyes of a man who was
-trying desperately to stop what he was about to do, but just couldn't
-help himself.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, yes, more or less. Oh, God, Chap, I know you want to go home!
-But I couldn't ask any of the others; you were the only one who could,
-the only one who was qualified!"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Dahl looked as though he was going to be sick. Chapman tried to recall
-all he knew about him. Dahl, Robert. Good mathematician. Graduate from
-one of the Ivy League schools. Father was a manufacturer of stoves or
-something.</p>
-
-<p>It still didn't add, not quite. "You know I don't like it here any more
-than you do," Chapman said slowly. "I may have commitments at home,
-too. What made you think I would change my mind?"</p>
-
-<p>Dahl took the plunge. "Well, you see," he started eagerly, too far gone
-to remember such a thing as pride, "you know my father's pretty well
-fixed. We would make it worth your while, Chap." He was feverish. "It
-would mean eighteen more months, Chap, but they'd be well-paid months!"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman felt tired. The good feeling he had about going home was slowly
-evaporating.</p>
-
-<p>"If you have any report to make, I think you had better get at it,"
-he cut in, keeping all the harshness he felt out of his voice. "It'll
-be too late after the relief ship leaves. It'll be easier to give the
-captain your report than try to radio it back to Earth from here."</p>
-
-<p>He felt sorrier for Dahl than he could ever remember having felt for
-anybody. Long after going home, Dahl would remember this.</p>
-
-<p>It would eat at him like a cancer.</p>
-
-<p>Cowardice is the one thing for which no man ever forgives himself.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Donley was eating a sandwich and looking out the port, so, naturally,
-he saw the ship first. "Well, whaddya know!" he shouted. "We got
-company!" He dashed for his suit. Dowden and Bening piled after him and
-all three started for the lock.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman was standing in front of it. "Check your suits," he said
-softly. "Just be sure to check."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, what the hell, Chap!" Donley started angrily. Then he shut up and
-went over his suit. He got to his tank and turned white. Empty. It was
-only half a mile to the relief rocket, so somebody would probably have
-got to him in time, but.... He bit his lips and got a full tank.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman and Klein watched them dash across the pumice, making the
-tremendous leaps they used to read about in the Sunday supplements. The
-port of the rocket had opened and tiny figures were climbing down the
-ladder. The small figures from the bunker reached them and did a short
-jig of welcome. Then the figures linked arms and started back. Chapman
-noticed one&mdash;it was probably Donley&mdash;pat the ship affectionately before
-he started back.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus4.jpg" width="600" height="228" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>They were in the lock and the air pumped in and then they were in
-the bunker, taking off their suits. The newcomers were impressed and
-solemn, very much aware of the tremendous responsibility that rested on
-their shoulders. Like Donley and Klein and the members of the Second
-group had been when they had landed. Like Chapman had been in the First.</p>
-
-<p>Donley and the others were all over them.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>How was it back on Earth? Who had won the series? Was so-and-so still
-teaching at the university? What was the international situation?</p>
-
-<p>Was the sky still blue, was the grass still green, did the leaves still
-turn color in the autumn, did people still love and cry and were there
-still people who didn't know what an atom was and didn't give a damn?</p>
-
-<p>Chapman had gone through it all before. But was Ginny still Ginny?</p>
-
-<p>Some of the men in the Third had their luggage with them. One of
-them&mdash;a husky, red-faced kid named Williams&mdash;was opening a box about a
-foot square and six inches deep. Chapman watched him curiously.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, I'll be damned!" Klein said. "Hey, guys, look what we've got
-here!"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman and the others crowded around and suddenly Donley leaned over
-and took a deep breath. In the box, covering a thick layer of ordinary
-dirt, was a plot of grass. They looked at it, awed. Klein put out his
-hand and laid it on top of the grass.</p>
-
-<p>"I like the feel of it," he said simply.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman cut off a single blade with his fingernail and put it between
-his lips. It had been years since he had seen grass and had the luxury
-of walking on it and lying on its cool thickness during those sultry
-summer nights when it was too hot to sleep indoors.</p>
-
-<p>Williams blushed. "I thought we could spare a little water for it and
-maybe use the ultraviolet lamp on it some of the time. Couldn't help
-but bring it along; it seemed sort of like a symbol...." He looked
-embarrassed.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman sympathized. If he had had any sense, he'd have tried to
-smuggle something like that up to the Moon instead of his phonograph.</p>
-
-<p>"That's valuable grass," Dahl said sharply. "Do you realize that at
-current freight rates up here, it's worth about ten dollars a blade?"</p>
-
-<p>Williams looked stricken and somebody said, "Oh, shut up, Dahl."</p>
-
-<p>One of the men separated from the group and came over to Chapman. He
-held out his hand and said, "My name's Eberlein. Captain of the relief
-ship. I understand you're in charge here?"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman nodded and shook hands. They hadn't had a captain on the First
-ship. Just a pilot and crew. Eberlein looked every inch a captain, too.
-Craggy face, gray hair, the firm chin of a man who was sure of himself.</p>
-
-<p>"You might say I'm in charge here," Chapman said.</p>
-
-<p>"Well, look, Mr. Chapman, is there any place where we can talk together
-privately?"</p>
-
-<p>They walked over to one corner of the bunker. "This is about as private
-as we can get, captain," Chapman said. "What's on your mind?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Eberlein found a packing crate and made himself comfortable. He looked
-at Chapman.</p>
-
-<p>"I've always wanted to meet the man who's spent more time here than
-anybody else," he began.</p>
-
-<p>"I'm sure you wanted to see me for more reasons than just curiosity."</p>
-
-<p>Eberlein took out a pack of cigarets. "Mind if I smoke?"</p>
-
-<p>Chapman jerked a thumb toward Dahl. "Ask him. He's in charge now."</p>
-
-<p>The captain didn't bother. He put the pack away. "You know we have big
-plans for the station," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"I hadn't heard of them."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, yes, <i>big plans</i>. They're working on unmanned, open-side rockets
-now that could carry cargo and sheet steel for more bunkers like this.
-Enable us to enlarge the unit, have a series of bunkers all linked
-together. Make good laboratories and living quarters for you people."
-His eyes swept the room. "Have a little privacy for a change."</p>
-
-<p>Chapman nodded. "They could use a little privacy up here."</p>
-
-<p>The captain noticed the pronoun. "Well, that's one of the reasons why
-I wanted to talk to you, Chapman. The Commission talked it over and
-they'd like to see you stay. They feel if they're going to enlarge it,
-add more bunkers and have more men up here, that a man of practical
-experience should be running things. They figure that you're the only
-man who's capable and who's had the experience."</p>
-
-<p>The captain vaguely felt the approach was all wrong.</p>
-
-<p>"Is that all?"</p>
-
-<p>Eberlein was ill at ease. "Naturally you'd be paid well. I don't
-imagine any man would like being here all the time. They're prepared to
-double your salary&mdash;maybe even a bonus in addition&mdash;and let you have
-full charge. You'd be Director of the Luna Laboratories."</p>
-
-<p>All this and a title too, Chapman thought.</p>
-
-<p>"That's it?" Chapman asked.</p>
-
-<p>Eberlein frowned. "Well, the Commission said they'd be willing to
-consider anything else you had in mind, if it was more money or...."</p>
-
-<p>"The answer is no," Chapman said. "I'm not interested in more money
-for staying because I'm not interested in staying. Money can't buy it,
-captain. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that you'd have to stay up here to
-appreciate that.</p>
-
-<p>"Bob Dahl is staying for stopover. If there's something important about
-the project or impending changes, perhaps you'd better tell him before
-you go."</p>
-
-<p>He walked away.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Chapman held the letter in both hands, but the paper still shook. The
-others had left the bunker, the men of the Second taking those of
-the Third in hand to show them the machinery and apparatus that was
-outside, point out the deadly blisters underneath the pumice covering,
-and show them how to keep out of the Sun and how to watch their air
-supply.</p>
-
-<p>He was glad he was alone. He felt something trickle down his face and
-tasted salt on his lips.</p>
-
-<p>The mail had been distributed and he had saved his latest letter until
-the others had left so he could read it in privacy. It was a short
-letter, very short.</p>
-
-<p>It started: "Dear Joel: This isn't going to be a nice letter, but I
-thought it best that you should know before you came home."</p>
-
-<p>There was more to it, but he hadn't even needed to read it to know what
-it said. It wasn't original, of course. Women who change their minds
-weren't exactly an innovation, either.</p>
-
-<p>He crumpled the paper and held a match to it and watched it burn on the
-steel floor.</p>
-
-<p>Three years had been a long time. It was too long a time to keep loving
-a man who was a quarter of a million miles away. She could look up in
-the night sky when she was out with somebody else now and tell him how
-she had once been engaged to the Man in the Moon.</p>
-
-<p>It would make good conversation. It would be funny. A joke.</p>
-
-<p>He got up and walked over to his phonograph and put the record on. The
-somewhat scratchy voice sang as if nothing had happened</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot">
-<p>Way Back Home by Al Lewis.</p></div>
-
-<p>The record caught and started repeating the last line.</p>
-
-<p>He hadn't actually wanted to play it. It had been an automatic
-response. He had played it lots of times before when he had thought of
-Earth. Of going home.</p>
-
-<p>He crossed over and threw the record across the bunker and watched it
-shatter on the steel wall and the pieces fall to the floor.</p>
-
-<p>The others came back in the bunker and the men of the Second started
-grabbing their bags and few belongings and getting ready to leave.
-Dahl sat in a corner, a peculiar expression on his face. He looked as
-if he wanted to cry and yet still felt that the occasion was one for
-rejoicing.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman walked over to him. "Get your stuff and leave with the others,
-Dahl." His voice was quiet and hard.</p>
-
-<p>Dahl looked up, opened his mouth to say something, and then shut
-up. Donley and Bening and Dowden were already in the airlock, ready
-to leave. Klein caught the conversation and came over. He gripped
-Chapman's arm.</p>
-
-<p>"What the hell's going on, Chap? Get your bag and let's go. I know just
-the bistro to throw a whing-ding when we get&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"I'm not going back," Chapman said.</p>
-
-<p>Klein looked annoyed, not believing him. "Come on, what's the matter
-with you? You suddenly decide you don't like the blue sky and trees and
-stuff? Let's go!"</p>
-
-<p>The men in the lock were looking at them questioningly. Some members
-of the Third looked embarrassed, like outsiders caught in a family
-argument.</p>
-
-<p>"Look, Julius, I'm not going back," Chapman repeated dully. "I haven't
-anything to go back for."</p>
-
-<p>"You're doing a much braver thing than you may think," a voice cut in.
-It belonged to Eberlein.</p>
-
-<p>Chapman looked at him. Eberlein flushed, then turned and walked-stiffly
-to the lock to join the others.</p>
-
-<p>Just before the inner door of the lock shut, they could hear Chapman,
-his hands on his hips, breaking in the Third on how to be happy and
-stay healthy on the Moon. His voice was ragged and strained and sounded
-like a top-sergeant's.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Dahl and Eberlein stood in the outer port of the relief ship, staring
-back at the research bunker. It was half hidden in the shadows of a
-rocky overhang that protected it from meteorites.</p>
-
-<p>"They kidded him a lot this morning," Dahl said. "They said he had
-found a home on the Moon."</p>
-
-<p>"If we had stayed an hour or so more, he might have changed his mind
-and left, after all," Eberlein mused, his face a thoughtful mask behind
-his air helmet.</p>
-
-<p>"I offered him money," Dahl said painfully. "I was a coward and I
-offered him money to stay in my place." His face was bitter and full
-of disgust for himself.</p>
-
-<p>Eberlein turned to him quickly and automatically told him the right
-thing.</p>
-
-<p>"We're all cowards once in a while," he said earnestly. "But your offer
-of money had nothing to do with his staying. He stayed because he had
-to stay, because we made him stay."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't understand," Dahl said.</p>
-
-<p>"Chapman had a lot to go home for. He was engaged to be married." Dahl
-winced. "We got her to write him a letter breaking it off. We knew it
-meant that he lost one of his main reasons for wanting to go back. I
-think, perhaps, that he still would have left if we had stayed and
-argued him into going. But we left before he could change his mind."</p>
-
-<p>"That&mdash;was a lousy thing to do!"</p>
-
-<p>"We had no choice. We didn't use it except as a last resort."</p>
-
-<p>"I don't know of any girl who would have done such a thing, no matter
-what your reasons, if she was in love with a guy like Chapman," Dahl
-said.</p>
-
-<p>"There was only one who would have," Eberlein agreed. "Ginny Dixon. She
-understood what we were trying to tell her. She had to; her brother had
-died up here."</p>
-
-<p>"Why was Chapman so important?" Dahl burst out. "What could he have
-done that I couldn't have done&mdash;would have done if I had had any guts?"</p>
-
-<p>"Perhaps you could have," Eberlein said. "But I doubt it. I don't think
-there were many men who could have. And we couldn't take the chance.
-Chapman knows how to live on the Moon. He's like a trapper who's spent
-all his time in the forests and knows it like the palm of his hand.
-He never makes mistakes, he never fails to check things. And he isn't
-a scientist. He would never become so preoccupied with research that
-he'd fail to make checks. And he can watch out for those who do make
-mistakes. Ginny understood that all too well."</p>
-
-<p>"How did you know all this about Chapman?" Dahl asked.</p>
-
-<p>"The men in the First told us some of it. And we had our own observer
-with you here. Bening kept us pretty well informed."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Eberlein stared at the bunker thoughtfully.</p>
-
-<p>"It costs a lot of money to send ships up here and establish a colony.
-It will cost a lot to expand it. And with that kind of investment, you
-don't take chances. You have to have the best men for the job. You get
-them even if they don't want to do it."</p>
-
-<p>He gestured at the small, blotchy globe of blue and green that was the
-Earth, riding high in the black sky.</p>
-
-<p>"You remember what it was like five years ago, Dahl? Nations at each
-other's throats, re-arming to the teeth? It isn't that way now. We've
-got the one lead that nobody can duplicate or catch up on. Nobody has
-our technical background. I know, this isn't a military base. But it
-could become one."</p>
-
-<p>He paused.</p>
-
-<p>"But these aren't even the most important reasons, Dahl. We're at the
-beginnings of space travel, the first bare, feeble start. If this base
-on the Moon succeeds, the whole human race will be Outward Bound." He
-waved at the stars. "You have your choice&mdash;a frontier that lies in the
-stars, or a psychotic little world that tries and fails and spends its
-time and talents trying to find better methods of suicide.</p>
-
-<p>"With a choice like that, Dahl, you can't let it fail. And personal
-lives and viewpoints are expendable. But it's got to be that way.
-There's too much at stake."</p>
-
-<p>Eberlein hesitated a moment and when he started again, it was on a
-different track. "You're an odd bunch of guys, you and the others in
-the groups, Dahl. Damn few of you come up for the glamor, I know.
-None of you like it and none of you are really enthusiastic about it.
-You were all reluctant to come in the first place, for the most part.
-You're a bunch of pretty reluctant heroes, Dahl."</p>
-
-<p>The captain nodded soberly at the bunker. "I, personally, don't feel
-happy about that. I don't like having to mess up other people's lives.
-I hope I won't have to again. Maybe somehow, someway, this one can be
-patched up. We'll try to."</p>
-
-<p>He started the mechanism that closed the port of the rocket. His face
-was a study of regret and helplessness. He was thinking of a future
-that, despite what he had told Dahl, wasn't quite real to him.</p>
-
-<p>"I feel like a cheap son of a bitch," Eberlein said.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p><i>The very young man said, "Do they actually care where they send us? Do
-they actually care what we think?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The older man got up and walked to the window. The bunkers and towers
-and squat buildings of the research colony glinted in the sunlight. The
-colony had come a long way; it housed several thousands now.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The Sun was just rising for the long morning and farther down shadows
-stabbed across the crater floor. Tycho was by far the most beautiful of
-the craters, he thought.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>It was nice to know that the very young man was going to miss it. It
-had taken the older man quite a long time to get to like it. But that
-was to be expected&mdash;he hadn't been on the Moon.</i></p>
-
-<p><i>"I would say so," he said. "They were cruel, that way, at the start.
-But then they had to be. The goal was too important. And they made up
-for it as soon as they could. It didn't take them too long to remember
-the men who had traded their future for the stars."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The very young man said, "Did you actually think of it that way when
-you first came up here?"</i></p>
-
-<p><i>The older man thought for a minute. "No," he admitted. "No, we didn't.
-Most of us were strictly play-for-pay men. The Commission wanted
-men who wouldn't fall apart when the glamor wore off and there was
-nothing left but privation and hard work and loneliness. The men who
-fell for the glamor were all right for quick trips, but not for an
-eighteen-month stay in a research bunker. So the Commission offered
-high salaries and we reluctantly took the jobs. Oh, there was the
-idea behind the project, the vision the Commission had in mind. But it
-took a while for that to grow."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>A woman came in the room just then, bearing a tray with glasses on
-it. The older man took one and said, "Your mother and I were notified
-yesterday that you had been chosen to go. We would like to see you go,
-but of course the final decision is up to you."</i></p>
-
-<p><i>He sipped his drink and turned to his wife: "It has its privations,
-but in the long run we've never regretted it, have we, Ginny?"</i></p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's The Reluctant Heroes, by Frank M. Robinson
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@@ -1,1327 +0,0 @@
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Reluctant Heroes, by Frank M. Robinson
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Reluctant Heroes
-
-Author: Frank M. Robinson
-
-Release Date: March 17, 2016 [EBook #51483]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE RELUCTANT HEROES ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- The Reluctant Heroes
-
- By FRANK M. ROBINSON
-
- Illustrated by DON SIBLEY
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Galaxy Science Fiction January 1951.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-
-
- Pioneers have always resented their wanderlust, hated
- their hardships. But the future brings a new grudge--when
- pioneers stay put and scholars do the exploring!
-
-
-_The very young man sat on the edge of the sofa and looked nervous. He
-carefully studied his fingernails and ran his hands through his hair
-and picked imaginary lint off the upholstery._
-
-_"I have a chance to go with the first research expedition to Venus,"
-he said._
-
-_The older man studied the very young man thoughtfully and then leaned
-over to his humidor and offered him a cigaret. "It's nice to have the
-new air units now. There was a time when we had to be very careful
-about things like smoking."_
-
-_The very young man was annoyed._
-
-_"I don't think I want to go," he blurted. "I don't think I would care
-to spend two years there."_
-
-_The older man blew a smoke ring and watched it drift toward the air
-exhaust vent._
-
-_"You mean you would miss it here, the people you've known and grown
-up with, the little familiar things that have made up your life here.
-You're afraid the glamor would wear off and you would get to hate it on
-Venus."_
-
-_The very young man nodded miserably. "I guess that's it."_
-
-_"Anything else?"_
-
-_The very young man found his fingernails extremely fascinating again
-and finally said, in a low voice, "Yes, there is."_
-
-_"A girl?"_
-
-_A nod confirmed this._
-
-_It was the older man's turn to look thoughtful. "You know, I'm sure,
-that psychologists and research men agree that research stations should
-be staffed by couples. That is, of course, as soon as it's practical."_
-
-_"But that might be a long time!" the very young man protested._
-
-_"It might be--but sometimes it's sooner than you think. And the goal
-is worth it."_
-
-_"I suppose so, but--"_
-
-_The older man smiled. "Still the reluctant heroes," he said, somewhat
-to himself._
-
- * * * * *
-
-Chapman stared at the radio key.
-
-Three years on the Moon and they didn't want him to come back.
-
-Three years on the Moon and they thought he'd be glad to stay for more.
-Just raise his salary or give him a bonus, the every-man-has-his-price
-idea. They probably thought he liked it there.
-
-Oh, sure, he loved it. Canned coffee, canned beans, canned pills,
-and canned air until your insides felt as though they were plated
-with tin. Life in a cramped, smelly little hut where you could take
-only ten steps in any one direction. Their little scientific home of
-tomorrow with none of the modern conveniences, a charming place where
-you couldn't take a shower, couldn't brush your teeth, and your kidneys
-didn't work right.
-
-And for double his salary they thought he'd be glad to stay for another
-year and a half. Or maybe three. He should probably be glad he had the
-opportunity.
-
-The key started to stutter again, demanding an answer.
-
-He tapped out his reply: "_No!_"
-
-There was a silence and then the key stammered once more in a sudden
-fit of bureaucratic rage. Chapman stuffed a rag under it and ignored
-it. He turned to the hammocks, strung against the bulkhead on the other
-side of the room.
-
-The chattering of the key hadn't awakened anybody; they were still
-asleep, making the animal noises that people usually make in slumber.
-Dowden, half in the bottom hammock and half on the floor, was snoring
-peacefully. Dahl, the poor kid who was due for stopover, was mumbling
-to himself. Julius Klein, with that look of ineffable happiness on his
-face, looked as if he had just squirmed under the tent to his personal
-idea of heaven. Donley and Bening were lying perfectly still, their
-covers not mussed, sleeping very lightly.
-
-Lord, Chapman thought, I'll be happy when I can see some other faces.
-
-"What'd they want?" Klein had one eyelid open and a questioning look on
-his face.
-
-"They wanted me to stay until the next relief ship lands," Chapman
-whispered back.
-
-"What did you say?"
-
-He shrugged. "No."
-
-"You kept it short," somebody else whispered. It was Donley, up and
-sitting on the side of his hammock. "If it had been me, I would have
-told them just what they could do about it."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The others were awake now, with the exception of Dahl who had his face
-to the bulkhead and a pillow over his head.
-
-Dowden rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Sore, aren't you?"
-
-"Kind of. Who wouldn't be?"
-
-"Well, don't let it throw you. They've never been here on the Moon.
-They don't know what it's like. All they're trying to do is get a good
-man to stay on the job a while longer."
-
-"_All_ they're trying to do," Chapman said sarcastically. "They've got
-a fat chance."
-
-"They think you've found a home here," Donley said.
-
-"Why the hell don't you guys shut up until morning?" Dahl was awake,
-looking bitter. "Some of us still have to stay here, you know. Some of
-us aren't going back today."
-
-No, Chapman thought, some of us aren't going back. You aren't. And
-Dixon's staying, too. Only Dixon isn't ever going back.
-
-Klein jerked his thumb toward Dahl's bunk, held a finger to his lips,
-and walked noiselessly over to the small electric stove. It was his day
-for breakfast duty.
-
-The others started lacing up their bunks, getting ready for their last
-day of work on the Moon. In a few hours they'd be relieved by members
-of the Third research group and they'd be on their way back to Earth.
-
-And that includes me, Chapman thought. I'm going home. I'm finally
-going home.
-
-He walked silently to the one small, quartz window in the room. It was
-morning--the Moon's "morning"--and he shivered slightly. The rays of
-the Sun were just striking the far rim of the crater and long shadows
-shot across the crater floor. The rest of it was still blanketed in
-a dark jumble of powdery pumice and jagged peaks that would make the
-Black Hills of Dakota look like paradise.
-
-A hundred yards from the research bunker he could make out the small
-mound of stones and the forlorn homemade cross, jury-rigged out of
-small condensed milk tins slid over crossed iron bars. You could still
-see the footprints in the powdery soil where the group had gathered
-about the grave. It had been more than eighteen months ago, but there
-was no wind to wear those tracks away. They'd be there forever.
-
-That's what happened to guys like Dixon, Chapman thought. On the Moon,
-one mistake could use up your whole quota of chances.
-
-Klein came back with the coffee. Chapman took a cup, gagged, and forced
-himself to swallow the rest of it. It had been in the can for so long
-you could almost taste the glue on the label.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Donley was warming himself over his cup, looking thoughtful. Dowden and
-Bening were struggling into their suits, getting ready to go outside.
-Dahl was still sitting on his hammock, trying to ignore them.
-
-"Think we ought to radio the space station and see if they've left
-there yet?" Klein asked.
-
-"I talked to them on the last call," Chapman said. "The relief ship
-left there twelve hours ago. They should get here"--he looked at his
-watch--"in about six and a half hours."
-
-"Chap, you know, I've been thinking," Donley said quietly. "You've
-been here just twice as long as the rest of us. What's the first thing
-you're going to do once you get back?"
-
-It hit them, then. Dowden and Bening looked blank for a minute and
-blindly found packing cases to sit on. The top halves of their suits
-were still hanging on the bulkhead. Klein lowered his coffee cup and
-looked grave. Even Dahl glanced up expectantly.
-
-"I don't know," Chapman said slowly. "I guess I was trying not to think
-of that. I suppose none of us have. We've been like little kids who
-have waited so long for Christmas that they just can't believe it when
-it's finally Christmas Eve."
-
-Klein nodded in agreement. "I haven't been here three years like you
-have, but I think I know what you mean." He warmed up to it as the idea
-sank in. "Just what the hell _are_ you going to do?"
-
-"Nothing very spectacular," Chapman said, smiling. "I'm going to rent
-a room over Times Square, get a recording of a rikky-tik piano, and
-drink and listen to the music and watch the people on the street below.
-Then I think I'll see somebody."
-
-"Who's the somebody?" Donley asked.
-
-Chapman grinned. "Oh, just somebody. What are you going to do, Dick?"
-
-"Well, I'm going to do something practical. First of all, I want to
-turn over all my geological samples to the government. Then I'm going
-to sell my life story to the movies and then--why, then, I think I'll
-get drunk!"
-
-Everybody laughed and Chapman turned to Klein.
-
-"How about you, Julius?"
-
-Klein looked solemn. "Like Dick, I'll first get rid of my obligations
-to the expedition. Then I think I'll go home and see my wife."
-
-They were quiet. "I thought all members of the groups were supposed to
-be single," Donley said.
-
-"They are. And I can see their reasons for it. But who could pass up
-the money the Commission was paying?"
-
-"If I had to do it all over again? Me," said Donley promptly.
-
-They laughed. Somebody said: "Go play your record, Chap. Today's the
-day for it."
-
-The phonograph was a small, wind-up model that Chapman had smuggled in
-when he had landed with the First group. The record was old and the
-shellac was nearly worn off, but the music was good.
-
- Way Back Home by Al Lewis.
-
- * * * * *
-
-They ran through it twice. They were beginning to feel it now, Chapman
-thought. They were going to go home in a little while and the idea was
-just starting to sink in.
-
-"You know, Chap," Donley said, "it won't seem like the same old Moon
-without you on it. Why, we'll look at it when we're out spooning or
-something and it just won't have the same old appeal."
-
-"Like they say in the army," Bening said, "you never had it so good.
-You found a home here."
-
-The others chimed in and Chapman grinned. Yesterday or a week ago they
-couldn't have done it. He had been there too long and he had hated it
-too much.
-
-The party quieted down after a while and Dowden and Bening finished
-getting into their suits. They still had a section of the sky to map
-before they left. Donley was right after them. There was an outcropping
-of rock that he wanted a sample of and some strata he wished to
-investigate.
-
-And the time went faster when you kept busy.
-
-Chapman stopped them at the lock. "Remember to check your suits for
-leaks," he warned. "And check the valves of your oxygen tanks."
-
-Donley looked sour. "I've gone out at least five hundred times," he
-said, "and you check me each time."
-
-"And I'd check you five hundred more," Chapman said. "It takes only
-one mistake. And watch out for blisters under the pumice crust. You go
-through one of those and that's it, brother."
-
-Donley sighed. "Chap, you watch us like an old mother hen. You see we
-check our suits, you settle our arguments, you see that we're not bored
-and that we stay healthy and happy. I think you'd blow our noses for us
-if we caught cold. But some day, Chap old man, you're gonna find out
-that your little boys can watch out for themselves!"
-
-But he checked his suit for leaks and tested the valve of his tank
-before he left.
-
-Only Klein and Chapman were left in the bunker. Klein was at the work
-table, carefully labeling some lichen specimens.
-
-"I never knew you were married," Chapman said.
-
-Klein didn't look up. "There wasn't much sense in talking about it. You
-just get to thinking and wanting--and there's nothing you can do about
-it. You talk about it and it just makes it worse."
-
-"She let you go without any fuss, huh?"
-
-"No, she didn't make any fuss. But I don't think she liked to see me
-go, either." He laughed a little. "At least I hope she didn't."
-
- * * * * *
-
-They were silent for a while. "What do you miss most, Chap?" Klein
-asked. "Oh, I know what we said a little while ago, but I mean
-seriously."
-
-Chapman thought a minute. "I think I miss the sky," he said quietly.
-"The blue sky and the green grass and trees with leaves on them that
-turn color in the Fall. I think, when I go back, that I'd like to go
-out in a rain storm and strip and feel the rain on my skin."
-
-He stopped, feeling embarrassed. Klein's expression was encouraging.
-"And then I think I'd like to go downtown and just watch the shoppers
-on the sidewalks. Or maybe go to a burlesque house and smell the cheap
-perfume and the popcorn and the people sweating in the dark."
-
-He studied his hands. "I think what I miss most is people--all kinds
-of people. Bad people and good people and fat people and thin people,
-and people I can't understand. People who wouldn't know an atom from an
-artichoke. And people who wouldn't give a damn. We're a quarter of a
-million miles from nowhere, Julius, and to make it literary, I think I
-miss my fellow man more than anything."
-
-"Got a girl back home?" Klein asked almost casually.
-
-"Yes."
-
-"You're not like Dahl. You've never mentioned it."
-
-"Same reason you didn't mention your wife. You get to thinking about
-it."
-
-Klein flipped the lid on the specimen box. "Going to get married when
-you get back?"
-
-Chapman was at the port again, staring out at the bleak landscape. "We
-hope to."
-
-"Settle down in a small cottage and raise lots of little Chapmans, eh?"
-
-Chapman nodded.
-
-"That's the only future," Klein said.
-
-He put away the box and came over to the port. Chapman moved over so
-they both could look out.
-
-"Chap." Klein hesitated a moment. "What happened to Dixon?"
-
-"He died," Chapman said. "He was a good kid, all wrapped up in science.
-Being on the Moon was the opportunity of a lifetime. He thought so much
-about it that he forgot a lot of little things--like how to stay alive.
-The day before the Second group came, he went out to finish some work
-he was interested in. He forgot to check for leaks and whether or not
-the valve on his tank was all the way closed. We couldn't get to him in
-time."
-
-"He had his walkie-talkie with him?"
-
-"Yes. It worked fine, too. We heard everything that went through his
-mind at the end."
-
-Klein's face was blank. "What's your real job here, Chap? Why does
-somebody have to stay for stopover?"
-
-"Hell, lots of reasons, Julius. You can't get a whole relief crew and
-let them take over cold. They have to know where you left off. They
-have to know where things are, how things work, what to watch out for.
-And then, because you've been here a year and a half and know the
-ropes, you have to watch them to see that they stay alive in spite of
-themselves. The Moon's a new environment and you have to learn how to
-live in it. There's a lot of things to learn--and some people just
-never learn."
-
-"You're nursemaid, then."
-
-"I suppose you could call it that."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Klein said, "You're not a scientist, are you?"
-
-"No, you should know that. I came as the pilot of the first ship. We
-made the bunker out of parts of the ship so there wasn't anything to
-go back on. I'm a good mechanic and I made myself useful with the
-machinery. When it occurred to us that somebody was going to have to
-stay over, I volunteered. I thought the others were so important that
-it was better they should take their samples and data back to Earth
-when the first relief ship came."
-
-"You wouldn't do it again, though, would you?"
-
-"No, I wouldn't."
-
-"Do you think Dahl will do as good a job as you've done here?"
-
-Chapman frowned. "Frankly, I hadn't thought of that. I don't believe
-I care. I've put in my time; it's somebody else's turn now. He
-volunteered for it. I think I was fair in explaining all about the job
-when you talked it over among yourselves."
-
-"You did, but I don't think Dahl's the man for it. He's too young, too
-much of a kid. He volunteered because he thought it made him look like
-a hero. He doesn't have the judgment that an older man would have. That
-you have."
-
-Chapman turned slowly around and faced Klein.
-
-"I'm not the indispensable man," he said slowly, "and even if I was, it
-wouldn't make any difference to me. I'm sorry if Dahl is young. So was
-I. I've lost three years up here. And I don't intend to lose any more."
-
-Klein held up his hands. "Look, Chap, I didn't mean you should stay. I
-know how much you hate it and the time you put in up here. It's just--"
-His voice trailed away. "It's just that I think it's such a damn
-important job."
-
-Klein had gone out in a last search for rock lichens and Chapman
-enjoyed one of his relatively few moments of privacy. He wandered over
-to his bunk and opened his barracks bag. He checked the underwear and
-his toothbrush and shaving kit for maybe the hundredth time and pushed
-the clothing down farther in the canvas. It was foolish because the
-bag was already packed and had been for a week. He remembered stalling
-it off for as long as he could and then the quiet satisfaction about a
-week before, when he had opened his small gear locker and transferred
-its meager belongings to the bag.
-
-He hadn't actually needed to pack, of course. In less than twenty-four
-hours he'd be back on Earth where he could drown himself in toothpaste
-and buy more tee shirts than he could wear in a lifetime. He could
-leave behind his shorts and socks and the outsize shirts he had
-inherited from--who was it? Driesbach?--of the First group. Dahl could
-probably use them or maybe one of the boys in the Third.
-
- * * * * *
-
-But it wasn't like going home unless you packed. It was part of the
-ritual, like marking off the last three weeks in pencil on the gray
-steel of the bulkhead beside his hammock. Just a few hours ago, when he
-woke up, he had made the last check mark and signed his name and the
-date. His signature was right beneath Dixon's.
-
-He frowned when he thought of Dixon and slid back the catch on the top
-of the bag and locked it. They should never have sent a kid like Dixon
-to the Moon.
-
-He had just locked the bag when he heard the rumble of the airlock and
-the soft hiss of air. Somebody had come back earlier than expected. He
-watched the inner door swing open and the spacesuited figure clump in
-and unscrew its helmet.
-
-Dahl. He had gone out to help Dowden on the Schmidt telescope. Maybe
-Dowden hadn't needed any help, with Bening along. Or more likely,
-considering the circumstances, Dahl wasn't much good at helping anybody
-today.
-
-Dahl stripped off his suit. His face was covered with light beads of
-sweat and his eyes were frightened.
-
-He moistened his lips slightly. "Do--do you think they'll ever have
-relief ships up here more often than every eighteen months, Chap? I
-mean, considering the advance of--"
-
-"No," Chapman interrupted bluntly. "I don't. Not at least for ten
-years. The fuel's too expensive and the trip's too hazardous. On
-freight charges alone you're worth your weight in platinum when they
-send you here. Even if it becomes cheaper, Bob, it won't come about
-so it will shorten stopover right away." He stopped, feeling a little
-sorry for Dahl. "It won't be too bad. There'll be new men up here and
-you'll pass a lot of time getting to know them."
-
-"Well, you see," Dahl started, "that's why I came back early. I wanted
-to see you about stopover. It's that--well, I'll put it this way." He
-seemed to be groping for an easy way to say what he wanted to. "I'm
-engaged back home. Really nice girl, Chap, you'd like her if you knew
-her." He fumbled in his pocket and found a photograph and put it on
-the desk. "That's a picture of Alice, taken at a picnic we were on
-together." Chapman didn't look. "She--we--expected to be married when
-I got back. I never told her about stopover, Chap. She thinks I'll be
-home tomorrow. I kept thinking, hoping, that maybe somehow--"
-
-He was fumbling it badly, Chapman thought.
-
-"You wanted to trade places with me, didn't you, Bob? You thought I
-might stay for stopover again, in your place?"
-
-It hurt to look in Dahl's eyes. They were the eyes of a man who was
-trying desperately to stop what he was about to do, but just couldn't
-help himself.
-
-"Well, yes, more or less. Oh, God, Chap, I know you want to go home!
-But I couldn't ask any of the others; you were the only one who could,
-the only one who was qualified!"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Dahl looked as though he was going to be sick. Chapman tried to recall
-all he knew about him. Dahl, Robert. Good mathematician. Graduate from
-one of the Ivy League schools. Father was a manufacturer of stoves or
-something.
-
-It still didn't add, not quite. "You know I don't like it here any more
-than you do," Chapman said slowly. "I may have commitments at home,
-too. What made you think I would change my mind?"
-
-Dahl took the plunge. "Well, you see," he started eagerly, too far gone
-to remember such a thing as pride, "you know my father's pretty well
-fixed. We would make it worth your while, Chap." He was feverish. "It
-would mean eighteen more months, Chap, but they'd be well-paid months!"
-
-Chapman felt tired. The good feeling he had about going home was slowly
-evaporating.
-
-"If you have any report to make, I think you had better get at it,"
-he cut in, keeping all the harshness he felt out of his voice. "It'll
-be too late after the relief ship leaves. It'll be easier to give the
-captain your report than try to radio it back to Earth from here."
-
-He felt sorrier for Dahl than he could ever remember having felt for
-anybody. Long after going home, Dahl would remember this.
-
-It would eat at him like a cancer.
-
-Cowardice is the one thing for which no man ever forgives himself.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Donley was eating a sandwich and looking out the port, so, naturally,
-he saw the ship first. "Well, whaddya know!" he shouted. "We got
-company!" He dashed for his suit. Dowden and Bening piled after him and
-all three started for the lock.
-
-Chapman was standing in front of it. "Check your suits," he said
-softly. "Just be sure to check."
-
-"Oh, what the hell, Chap!" Donley started angrily. Then he shut up and
-went over his suit. He got to his tank and turned white. Empty. It was
-only half a mile to the relief rocket, so somebody would probably have
-got to him in time, but.... He bit his lips and got a full tank.
-
-Chapman and Klein watched them dash across the pumice, making the
-tremendous leaps they used to read about in the Sunday supplements. The
-port of the rocket had opened and tiny figures were climbing down the
-ladder. The small figures from the bunker reached them and did a short
-jig of welcome. Then the figures linked arms and started back. Chapman
-noticed one--it was probably Donley--pat the ship affectionately before
-he started back.
-
-They were in the lock and the air pumped in and then they were in
-the bunker, taking off their suits. The newcomers were impressed and
-solemn, very much aware of the tremendous responsibility that rested on
-their shoulders. Like Donley and Klein and the members of the Second
-group had been when they had landed. Like Chapman had been in the First.
-
-Donley and the others were all over them.
-
- * * * * *
-
-How was it back on Earth? Who had won the series? Was so-and-so still
-teaching at the university? What was the international situation?
-
-Was the sky still blue, was the grass still green, did the leaves still
-turn color in the autumn, did people still love and cry and were there
-still people who didn't know what an atom was and didn't give a damn?
-
-Chapman had gone through it all before. But was Ginny still Ginny?
-
-Some of the men in the Third had their luggage with them. One of
-them--a husky, red-faced kid named Williams--was opening a box about a
-foot square and six inches deep. Chapman watched him curiously.
-
-"Well, I'll be damned!" Klein said. "Hey, guys, look what we've got
-here!"
-
-Chapman and the others crowded around and suddenly Donley leaned over
-and took a deep breath. In the box, covering a thick layer of ordinary
-dirt, was a plot of grass. They looked at it, awed. Klein put out his
-hand and laid it on top of the grass.
-
-"I like the feel of it," he said simply.
-
-Chapman cut off a single blade with his fingernail and put it between
-his lips. It had been years since he had seen grass and had the luxury
-of walking on it and lying on its cool thickness during those sultry
-summer nights when it was too hot to sleep indoors.
-
-Williams blushed. "I thought we could spare a little water for it and
-maybe use the ultraviolet lamp on it some of the time. Couldn't help
-but bring it along; it seemed sort of like a symbol...." He looked
-embarrassed.
-
-Chapman sympathized. If he had had any sense, he'd have tried to
-smuggle something like that up to the Moon instead of his phonograph.
-
-"That's valuable grass," Dahl said sharply. "Do you realize that at
-current freight rates up here, it's worth about ten dollars a blade?"
-
-Williams looked stricken and somebody said, "Oh, shut up, Dahl."
-
-One of the men separated from the group and came over to Chapman. He
-held out his hand and said, "My name's Eberlein. Captain of the relief
-ship. I understand you're in charge here?"
-
-Chapman nodded and shook hands. They hadn't had a captain on the First
-ship. Just a pilot and crew. Eberlein looked every inch a captain, too.
-Craggy face, gray hair, the firm chin of a man who was sure of himself.
-
-"You might say I'm in charge here," Chapman said.
-
-"Well, look, Mr. Chapman, is there any place where we can talk together
-privately?"
-
-They walked over to one corner of the bunker. "This is about as private
-as we can get, captain," Chapman said. "What's on your mind?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-Eberlein found a packing crate and made himself comfortable. He looked
-at Chapman.
-
-"I've always wanted to meet the man who's spent more time here than
-anybody else," he began.
-
-"I'm sure you wanted to see me for more reasons than just curiosity."
-
-Eberlein took out a pack of cigarets. "Mind if I smoke?"
-
-Chapman jerked a thumb toward Dahl. "Ask him. He's in charge now."
-
-The captain didn't bother. He put the pack away. "You know we have big
-plans for the station," he said.
-
-"I hadn't heard of them."
-
-"Oh, yes, _big plans_. They're working on unmanned, open-side rockets
-now that could carry cargo and sheet steel for more bunkers like this.
-Enable us to enlarge the unit, have a series of bunkers all linked
-together. Make good laboratories and living quarters for you people."
-His eyes swept the room. "Have a little privacy for a change."
-
-Chapman nodded. "They could use a little privacy up here."
-
-The captain noticed the pronoun. "Well, that's one of the reasons why
-I wanted to talk to you, Chapman. The Commission talked it over and
-they'd like to see you stay. They feel if they're going to enlarge it,
-add more bunkers and have more men up here, that a man of practical
-experience should be running things. They figure that you're the only
-man who's capable and who's had the experience."
-
-The captain vaguely felt the approach was all wrong.
-
-"Is that all?"
-
-Eberlein was ill at ease. "Naturally you'd be paid well. I don't
-imagine any man would like being here all the time. They're prepared to
-double your salary--maybe even a bonus in addition--and let you have
-full charge. You'd be Director of the Luna Laboratories."
-
-All this and a title too, Chapman thought.
-
-"That's it?" Chapman asked.
-
-Eberlein frowned. "Well, the Commission said they'd be willing to
-consider anything else you had in mind, if it was more money or...."
-
-"The answer is no," Chapman said. "I'm not interested in more money
-for staying because I'm not interested in staying. Money can't buy it,
-captain. I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that you'd have to stay up here to
-appreciate that.
-
-"Bob Dahl is staying for stopover. If there's something important about
-the project or impending changes, perhaps you'd better tell him before
-you go."
-
-He walked away.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Chapman held the letter in both hands, but the paper still shook. The
-others had left the bunker, the men of the Second taking those of
-the Third in hand to show them the machinery and apparatus that was
-outside, point out the deadly blisters underneath the pumice covering,
-and show them how to keep out of the Sun and how to watch their air
-supply.
-
-He was glad he was alone. He felt something trickle down his face and
-tasted salt on his lips.
-
-The mail had been distributed and he had saved his latest letter until
-the others had left so he could read it in privacy. It was a short
-letter, very short.
-
-It started: "Dear Joel: This isn't going to be a nice letter, but I
-thought it best that you should know before you came home."
-
-There was more to it, but he hadn't even needed to read it to know what
-it said. It wasn't original, of course. Women who change their minds
-weren't exactly an innovation, either.
-
-He crumpled the paper and held a match to it and watched it burn on the
-steel floor.
-
-Three years had been a long time. It was too long a time to keep loving
-a man who was a quarter of a million miles away. She could look up in
-the night sky when she was out with somebody else now and tell him how
-she had once been engaged to the Man in the Moon.
-
-It would make good conversation. It would be funny. A joke.
-
-He got up and walked over to his phonograph and put the record on. The
-somewhat scratchy voice sang as if nothing had happened
-
- Way Back Home by Al Lewis.
-
-The record caught and started repeating the last line.
-
-He hadn't actually wanted to play it. It had been an automatic
-response. He had played it lots of times before when he had thought of
-Earth. Of going home.
-
-He crossed over and threw the record across the bunker and watched it
-shatter on the steel wall and the pieces fall to the floor.
-
-The others came back in the bunker and the men of the Second started
-grabbing their bags and few belongings and getting ready to leave.
-Dahl sat in a corner, a peculiar expression on his face. He looked as
-if he wanted to cry and yet still felt that the occasion was one for
-rejoicing.
-
-Chapman walked over to him. "Get your stuff and leave with the others,
-Dahl." His voice was quiet and hard.
-
-Dahl looked up, opened his mouth to say something, and then shut
-up. Donley and Bening and Dowden were already in the airlock, ready
-to leave. Klein caught the conversation and came over. He gripped
-Chapman's arm.
-
-"What the hell's going on, Chap? Get your bag and let's go. I know just
-the bistro to throw a whing-ding when we get--"
-
-"I'm not going back," Chapman said.
-
-Klein looked annoyed, not believing him. "Come on, what's the matter
-with you? You suddenly decide you don't like the blue sky and trees and
-stuff? Let's go!"
-
-The men in the lock were looking at them questioningly. Some members
-of the Third looked embarrassed, like outsiders caught in a family
-argument.
-
-"Look, Julius, I'm not going back," Chapman repeated dully. "I haven't
-anything to go back for."
-
-"You're doing a much braver thing than you may think," a voice cut in.
-It belonged to Eberlein.
-
-Chapman looked at him. Eberlein flushed, then turned and walked-stiffly
-to the lock to join the others.
-
-Just before the inner door of the lock shut, they could hear Chapman,
-his hands on his hips, breaking in the Third on how to be happy and
-stay healthy on the Moon. His voice was ragged and strained and sounded
-like a top-sergeant's.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Dahl and Eberlein stood in the outer port of the relief ship, staring
-back at the research bunker. It was half hidden in the shadows of a
-rocky overhang that protected it from meteorites.
-
-"They kidded him a lot this morning," Dahl said. "They said he had
-found a home on the Moon."
-
-"If we had stayed an hour or so more, he might have changed his mind
-and left, after all," Eberlein mused, his face a thoughtful mask behind
-his air helmet.
-
-"I offered him money," Dahl said painfully. "I was a coward and I
-offered him money to stay in my place." His face was bitter and full
-of disgust for himself.
-
-Eberlein turned to him quickly and automatically told him the right
-thing.
-
-"We're all cowards once in a while," he said earnestly. "But your offer
-of money had nothing to do with his staying. He stayed because he had
-to stay, because we made him stay."
-
-"I don't understand," Dahl said.
-
-"Chapman had a lot to go home for. He was engaged to be married." Dahl
-winced. "We got her to write him a letter breaking it off. We knew it
-meant that he lost one of his main reasons for wanting to go back. I
-think, perhaps, that he still would have left if we had stayed and
-argued him into going. But we left before he could change his mind."
-
-"That--was a lousy thing to do!"
-
-"We had no choice. We didn't use it except as a last resort."
-
-"I don't know of any girl who would have done such a thing, no matter
-what your reasons, if she was in love with a guy like Chapman," Dahl
-said.
-
-"There was only one who would have," Eberlein agreed. "Ginny Dixon. She
-understood what we were trying to tell her. She had to; her brother had
-died up here."
-
-"Why was Chapman so important?" Dahl burst out. "What could he have
-done that I couldn't have done--would have done if I had had any guts?"
-
-"Perhaps you could have," Eberlein said. "But I doubt it. I don't think
-there were many men who could have. And we couldn't take the chance.
-Chapman knows how to live on the Moon. He's like a trapper who's spent
-all his time in the forests and knows it like the palm of his hand.
-He never makes mistakes, he never fails to check things. And he isn't
-a scientist. He would never become so preoccupied with research that
-he'd fail to make checks. And he can watch out for those who do make
-mistakes. Ginny understood that all too well."
-
-"How did you know all this about Chapman?" Dahl asked.
-
-"The men in the First told us some of it. And we had our own observer
-with you here. Bening kept us pretty well informed."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Eberlein stared at the bunker thoughtfully.
-
-"It costs a lot of money to send ships up here and establish a colony.
-It will cost a lot to expand it. And with that kind of investment, you
-don't take chances. You have to have the best men for the job. You get
-them even if they don't want to do it."
-
-He gestured at the small, blotchy globe of blue and green that was the
-Earth, riding high in the black sky.
-
-"You remember what it was like five years ago, Dahl? Nations at each
-other's throats, re-arming to the teeth? It isn't that way now. We've
-got the one lead that nobody can duplicate or catch up on. Nobody has
-our technical background. I know, this isn't a military base. But it
-could become one."
-
-He paused.
-
-"But these aren't even the most important reasons, Dahl. We're at the
-beginnings of space travel, the first bare, feeble start. If this base
-on the Moon succeeds, the whole human race will be Outward Bound." He
-waved at the stars. "You have your choice--a frontier that lies in the
-stars, or a psychotic little world that tries and fails and spends its
-time and talents trying to find better methods of suicide.
-
-"With a choice like that, Dahl, you can't let it fail. And personal
-lives and viewpoints are expendable. But it's got to be that way.
-There's too much at stake."
-
-Eberlein hesitated a moment and when he started again, it was on a
-different track. "You're an odd bunch of guys, you and the others in
-the groups, Dahl. Damn few of you come up for the glamor, I know.
-None of you like it and none of you are really enthusiastic about it.
-You were all reluctant to come in the first place, for the most part.
-You're a bunch of pretty reluctant heroes, Dahl."
-
-The captain nodded soberly at the bunker. "I, personally, don't feel
-happy about that. I don't like having to mess up other people's lives.
-I hope I won't have to again. Maybe somehow, someway, this one can be
-patched up. We'll try to."
-
-He started the mechanism that closed the port of the rocket. His face
-was a study of regret and helplessness. He was thinking of a future
-that, despite what he had told Dahl, wasn't quite real to him.
-
-"I feel like a cheap son of a bitch," Eberlein said.
-
- * * * * *
-
-_The very young man said, "Do they actually care where they send us? Do
-they actually care what we think?"_
-
-_The older man got up and walked to the window. The bunkers and towers
-and squat buildings of the research colony glinted in the sunlight. The
-colony had come a long way; it housed several thousands now._
-
-_The Sun was just rising for the long morning and farther down shadows
-stabbed across the crater floor. Tycho was by far the most beautiful of
-the craters, he thought._
-
-_It was nice to know that the very young man was going to miss it. It
-had taken the older man quite a long time to get to like it. But that
-was to be expected--he hadn't been on the Moon._
-
-_"I would say so," he said. "They were cruel, that way, at the start.
-But then they had to be. The goal was too important. And they made up
-for it as soon as they could. It didn't take them too long to remember
-the men who had traded their future for the stars."_
-
-_The very young man said, "Did you actually think of it that way when
-you first came up here?"_
-
-_The older man thought for a minute. "No," he admitted. "No, we didn't.
-Most of us were strictly play-for-pay men. The Commission wanted
-men who wouldn't fall apart when the glamor wore off and there was
-nothing left but privation and hard work and loneliness. The men who
-fell for the glamor were all right for quick trips, but not for an
-eighteen-month stay in a research bunker. So the Commission offered
-high salaries and we reluctantly took the jobs. Oh, there was the
-idea behind the project, the vision the Commission had in mind. But it
-took a while for that to grow."_
-
-_A woman came in the room just then, bearing a tray with glasses on
-it. The older man took one and said, "Your mother and I were notified
-yesterday that you had been chosen to go. We would like to see you go,
-but of course the final decision is up to you."_
-
-_He sipped his drink and turned to his wife: "It has its privations,
-but in the long run we've never regretted it, have we, Ginny?"_
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's The Reluctant Heroes, by Frank M. Robinson
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