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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Break a Leg, by Jim Harmon
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Break a Leg
-
-Author: Jim Harmon
-
-Release Date: February 28, 2016 [EBook #51320]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BREAK A LEG ***
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-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="377" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>BREAK A LEG</h1>
-
-<p>By JIM HARMON</p>
-
-<p>Illustrated by GAUGHAN</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Galaxy Science Fiction November 1957.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p class="ph3"><i>The man worth while couldn't be allowed<br />
-to smile ... if he ever laughed at himself,<br />
-the entire ship and crew were as good as dead!</i></p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>If there is anything I am afraid of, and there probably is, it is
-having a rookie Accident Prone, half-starved from the unemployment
-lines, aboard my spaceship. They are always so anxious to please. They
-remember what it is like to live in a rathole behind an apartment
-house furnace eating day-old bread and wilted vegetables, which doesn't
-compare favorably to the Admiralty-style staterooms and steak and
-caviar they draw down in the Exploration Service.</p>
-
-<p>You may wonder why anybody should make things so pleasant for a grownup
-who can't walk a city block without tripping over his own feet and who
-has a very low life expectancy on Earth due to the automobiles they are
-constantly stepping in front of and the live wires they are fond of
-picking up so the street won't be littered.</p>
-
-<p>The Admiralty, however, is a very thorough group of men. Before they
-open a planet to colonization or even fraternization, they insist on
-knowing just what they are up against.</p>
-
-<p>Accident Prones can find out what is wrong with a planet as easily
-as falling off a log, which they will if there is one lonely tree on
-the whole world. A single pit of quicksand on a veritable Eden of a
-planet and a Prone will be knee-deep in it within an hour of blastdown.
-If an alien race will smile patronizingly on your heroic attempts at
-genocide, but be offended into a murderous religious frenzy if you blow
-your nose, you can take the long end of the odds that the Prone will
-almost immediately catch a cold.</p>
-
-<p>All of this is properly recorded for the next expedition in the
-Admiralty files, and if it's any consolation, high officials and screen
-stars often visit you in the hospital.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Charlie Baxter was like all of the other Prones, only worse. Moran III
-was sort of an unofficial test for him and he wanted to make good. We
-had blasted down in the black of night and were waiting for daylight to
-begin our re-survey of the planet. It was Charlie's first assignment,
-so we had an easy one&mdash;just seeing if anything new had developed in the
-last fifty years.</p>
-
-<p>Baxter's guard was doubled as soon as we set down, of course, and
-that made him fidgety. He had heard all the stories about how high
-the casualty rate was with Prones aboard spaceships and now he was
-beginning to get nervous.</p>
-
-<p>Actually Charlie was safer in space than he would be back on Earth
-with all those cars and people. We could have told him how the Service
-practically never lost a Prone&mdash;they were too valuable and rare to
-lose&mdash;but we did not want him to stop worrying. The precautions we
-took to safeguard him, the armed men who went with him everywhere, the
-Accident Prone First Aid Kit with spare parts for him, blood, eyes,
-bone, nerves, arms, legs, and so forth, only emphasized to him the
-danger, not the rigidly secured safety.</p>
-
-<p>We like it that way.</p>
-
-<p>No one knows what causes an accident prone. The big insurance
-companies on Earth discovered them when they found out in the last part
-of the nineteenth century that ninety per cent of the accidents were
-happening to a few per cent of the people. They soon found out that
-these people were not malingering or trying to defraud anybody; they
-simply had accidents.</p>
-
-<p>I suppose everything from psychology to extra-sensory perception has
-been used to explain or explain away prones. I have my own ideas. I
-think an accident prone is simply a super-genius with a super-doubt of
-himself.</p>
-
-<p>I believe accident prones have a better system of calculation than a
-cybernetic machine. They can take <i>everything</i> into consideration&mdash;the
-humidity, their blood sugar, the expression on the other guy's
-face&mdash;and somewhere in the corners and attic of their brain they
-<i>infallibly</i> make the <i>right</i> choice in any given situation. Then,
-because they are incapable of trusting themselves, they do exactly the
-opposite.</p>
-
-<p>I felt a little sorry for Charlie Baxter, but I was Captain of the
-<i>Hilliard</i> and my job was to keep him worried and trying. The worst
-thing that can happen is for a Prone to give up and let himself sink
-into the fate of being a Prone. He will wear the rut right down into a
-tomb.</p>
-
-<p>Accident Prones have to stay worried and thinking, trying to break
-out of the jinx that traps them. Usually they come to discover this
-themselves, but by then, if they are real professionals with a career
-in the Service, they have framed the right attitude and they keep it.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Baxter was a novice and very much of an amateur at the game. He didn't
-like the scoring system, but he was attached to the equipment and
-didn't want to lose it.</p>
-
-<p>His clumsiness back on Earth had cost him every decent job he ever had.
-He had come all the way down the line until he was rated eligible only
-for the position of Prone aboard a spaceship. He had been poor&mdash;hungry,
-cold, wet, poor&mdash;and now he had luxury of a kind almost no one had in
-our era. He was drunk with it, passionately in love with it. It would
-cease to be quite so important after a few years of regular food, clean
-clothes and a solid roof to keep out the rain. But right now I knew he
-would come precariously close to killing to keep it. Or to being killed.</p>
-
-<p>He was ready to work.</p>
-
-<p>I knocked politely on his hatch and straightened my tunic. I have
-always admired the men who can look starched in a uniform. Mine always
-seemed to wrinkle as soon as I put them around my raw-boned frame.
-Sometimes it is hard for me to keep a military appearance or manner. I
-got my commission during the Crisis ten years back, because of my work
-in the reserve unit that I created out of my employees in the glass
-works (glassware blown to order for laboratories).</p>
-
-<p>Someone said something through the door and I went inside.</p>
-
-<p>Bronoski looked at me over the top of his picture tape from where he
-lay on the sofa. No one else was in the compartment.</p>
-
-<p>"Where is Baxter?" I asked the hulking guard. My eyes were on the sofa.
-My own bed pulled out of the wall and was considerably inferior to
-this, much less Baxter's bed in the next cabin. But then I am only a
-captain.</p>
-
-<p>Bronoski swung his feet off the couch and stood more or less in what I
-might have taken for attention if I hadn't known him better. "Sidney
-and Elliot escorted him down to the men's room, Captain Jackson."</p>
-
-<p>"You mean," I said very quietly, "that he isn't in his own bath?"</p>
-
-<p>"No sir," Bronoski said wearily. "He told us it was out of order."</p>
-
-<p>I stifled the gurgle of rage that came into my throat and motioned
-Bronoski to follow me. The engines on the <i>Hilliard</i> were more likely
-to be out of order than the plumbing in the Accident Prone's suite. No
-effort was spared to insure comfort for the key man in the whole crew.</p>
-
-<p>One glance inside the compartment at the end of the corridor satisfied
-me. There wasn't a thing wrong with the plumbing, so Baxter must have
-had something in mind.</p>
-
-<p>On a hunch of my own, I checked the supply lockers next to the airlock
-while Bronoski fired questions at my back. Three translator collars
-were missing. Baxter had left the spaceship and gone off into an alien
-night.</p>
-
-<p>Elliot and Sidney, the guards, were absolutely prohibited from
-interfering in any way with a Prone's decisions. They merely had to
-follow him and give their lives to save his, if necessary.</p>
-
-<p>I grabbed up a translator collar and tossed one to Bronoski. Then, just
-as we were getting into the airlock, I remembered something and ran
-back to the bridge.</p>
-
-<p>The thick brown envelope I had left on my desk was gone. I had shown
-it to Baxter and informed him that he should study it when he felt so
-inclined. He had seemed bored with the idea then, but he had come back
-for the report before leaving the ship. The envelope contained the
-exploration survey on Moran III made some fifty years before.</p>
-
-<p>I unlocked a desk drawer with my thumb print and drew out a duplicate
-of the report. I didn't have too much confidence in it and I hoped
-Charlie Baxter had less. Lots of things can change on a planet in fifty
-years, including its inhabitants.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Bronoski picked up Baxter's tracks and those of the two guards, Elliot
-and Sidney, with ultra-violet light. They were cold splotches of green
-fire against the rotting black peat of the jungle path. The whole dark,
-tangled mess smelled of sour mash, an intoxicating bourbon-type aroma.</p>
-
-<p>I jogged along following the big man more by instinct than anything
-else, ruining my eyes in an effort to refresh my memory as to the
-contents of the survey report in the cheery little glow from my
-cigarette lighter.</p>
-
-<p>The lighter was beginning to feel hot to my fingers and I started to
-worry about radiation leak, although they are supposed to be guaranteed
-perfectly shielded. I read that before the last exploration party had
-left, they had made the Moranite natives blood brothers. Then Bronoski
-knocked me down.</p>
-
-<p>Actually he put his hands in the small of my back and shoved politely
-but firmly. Just the same, I went face down into the moist dirt fast
-enough.</p>
-
-<p>I raised my head cautiously to see if Bronoski would shove it back
-down. He didn't.</p>
-
-<p>I could see through the stringy, alcoholic grass fairly well and there
-were Baxter, Elliot and Sidney in the middle of a curious mob of aliens.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus1.jpg" width="600" height="383" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Charlie Baxter had got pretty thin on his starvation diet back on
-Earth. He had grown a slight pot belly on the good food he drew down as
-Prone, but he was a fairly nice-looking young fellow. He looked even
-better in the pale moonlight, mixed amber and chartreuse from the twin
-satellites, and in contrast to the rest of the group.</p>
-
-<p>Elliot Charterson and Sidney Von Elderman were more or less type-cast
-as brawny, brainless bodyguards. Their friends described them as
-muscle-bound apes, but other people sometimes got insulting.</p>
-
-<p>The natives were less formidable. They made the slight lump of fat
-Charlie had at his waist look positively indecent.</p>
-
-<p>The natives were <i>skinny</i>. How skinny? Well, the only curves they had
-in their bodies were their bulging eyeballs. But just because they were
-thin didn't mean they were pushovers. Whips and garrotes aren't fat and
-these looked just as dangerous.</p>
-
-<p>Whenever I see aliens who are so humanoid, I remember all that Sunday
-supplement stuff about the Galaxy being colonized sometime by one
-humanlike race and the Ten Lost Tribes and so forth.</p>
-
-<p>They didn't give me much time to think about it just then. The natives
-looked unhappy&mdash;belligerently unhappy.</p>
-
-<p>I began to shake and at the same time to assure myself that I didn't
-have anything to worry about, that the precious Accident Prone would
-come out of it alive. After all, Elliot and Sidney were there to
-protect him. They had machine guns, flame-throwers, atomic grenades,
-and some really potent weapons. They could handle the situation. I
-didn't have a thing to worry about.</p>
-
-<p>So why couldn't I stop shaking?</p>
-
-<p>Maybe it was the way the natives were slowly but deliberately forming a
-circle about Charlie and his bodyguards.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The clothing of the Moranites hadn't changed much, I noticed. That was
-understandable. They had a non-mechanical civilization with scattered
-colonies that it would take a terrestrial season to tour by animal cart.</p>
-
-<p>An isolated culture like that couldn't change many of its customs.
-Then Charlie shouldn't have any trouble if he stuck to the findings on
-behavior in the report. Naturally, that meant by now he had discovered
-the fatal error.</p>
-
-<p>The three men were just standing still, waiting for the aliens to make
-the first move. The natives looked just as worried as Charlie and his
-guards, but then that might have been their natural expression.</p>
-
-<p>I jumped a little when the natives all began to talk at once. The
-mixture of sound was fed to me through my translator collar while the
-cybernetic unit back on board the spaceship tried decoding the words.
-It was too much of an overload and, infuriatingly, the sound was cut
-out altogether. I started to rip my collar off when the natives stopped
-screeching and a spokesman stepped forward.</p>
-
-<p>The native slumped a little more than the others, as if he were more
-relaxed, and his eyes didn't goggle so much. He said, "We do not
-understand," and the translation came through fine.</p>
-
-<p>Baxter swallowed and started forward to meet the alien halfway. His
-boot slipped on the wet scrub grass and I saw him do the desperate
-little dance to regain his balance that I had seen him make so many
-times; he could never stay on his feet.</p>
-
-<p>Before he could perform his usual pratfall, Sidney and Elliot were
-at his sides, supporting him by his thin biceps. He glared at them
-and shrugged them off, informing them wordlessly that he would have
-regained his balance if they had given him half a chance.</p>
-
-<p>"We do not understand," the native repeated. "Do you hold us in so much
-contempt as to claim <i>all</i> of us as your brothers?"</p>
-
-<p>"All beings are brothers," Charlie said. "We were made blood brothers
-by your people and my people several hundred of your years ago."</p>
-
-<p>Charlie's words were being translated into the native language, of
-course, but Bronoski's collars and mine switched them back into
-Terrestrial. I've read stories where explorers wearing translators
-couldn't understand each other, but that isn't the way it works. If you
-listen closely, you make out the words in your own language underneath,
-and if you pay very close attention, you can find minor semantic
-differences in the original words and the echo translated back from a
-native language.</p>
-
-<p>I was trying to catch both versions from Charlie. I knew he was making
-a mistake and later I wanted to be sure I knew just what it was.
-Frankly, I would have used the blood-brother gambit myself. I had also
-read about it in the survey report, as I made a point of telling you.
-This just proves that Accident Prones haven't secured the franchise on
-mistakes. The difference is that I would have gone about it a lot more
-cautiously.</p>
-
-<p>"Enough of this," the native said sharply. "Do you claim to be <i>my</i>
-brother?"</p>
-
-<p>"Sure," Charlie said.</p>
-
-<p>Dispassionately but automatically, the alien launched himself at the
-Prone's throat.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Charterson and Von Elderman instantly went into action. Elliot
-Charterson jumped to Charlie's assistance while Sidney Von Elderman
-swung around to protect Charlie from the rest of the crowd.</p>
-
-<p>But the defense didn't work.</p>
-
-<p>The other aliens didn't try to get to Baxter, but when they saw Elliot
-start to interfere with the two writhing opponents, they clawed him
-down into the grass. Sidney had been set to defend the Prone, not his
-fellow guard. They might have been all right if he had pulled a few
-off Elliot and let him get to work, except his training told him that
-the life of a guard did not matter a twit, but that a Prone must be
-defended. He started toward Charlie Baxter and was immediately pulled
-down by a spare dozen of the mob.</p>
-
-<p>It all meant one thing to me. The reaction of the crowd had been
-spontaneous, not planned. That meant that the struggle between Charlie
-and the spokesman was a high order of single combat with which it was
-unholy, indecent and dastardly to interfere.</p>
-
-<p>I could fairly hear Bronoski's steel muscles preparing for battle as
-he saw his two mammoth pals go down under the press of numbers. A
-bristle-covered bullet of skull rose out of the grass beside me and it
-was my turn to grind his face in the muck.</p>
-
-<p>I had a nice little problem to contend with.</p>
-
-<p>I knew the reason Baxter had slipped out at night to be the first to
-greet the aliens. He was determined to be useful and necessary without
-fouling things up. I suppose Charlie had never felt valuable to anyone
-before in his life, but at the same time it hurt him to think that he
-was valuable only because he was a misfit.</p>
-
-<p>He had decided to take a positive approach. If he did things right,
-that would be as good proof of conditions as if he made the mistakes he
-was supposed to do. But he couldn't lick that doubt of himself that had
-been ground into him since birth and there he was, in trouble as always.</p>
-
-<p>Now maybe Bronoski and I could get him out ourselves by a direct
-approach, but Charlie would probably lose all self-confidence and sink
-down into accepting himself as an Accident Prone, a purely passive
-state.</p>
-
-<p>We couldn't have that. We had to have Charlie acting and thinking and
-therefore making mistakes whose bad examples we could profit by.</p>
-
-<p>As I lay on my belly thinking, Charlie was putting up a pretty good
-fight with the stringy native. He got in a few good punches, which
-seemed to mystify the native, who apparently knew nothing of boxing.
-Naturally Charlie then began wrestling a trained and deadly wrestler
-instead of continuing to box him.</p>
-
-<p>I grabbed Bronoski by his puffy ear and hissed some commands into
-it. He fumbled out a book of matches and lit one for me. By the tiny
-flicker of light, I began tearing apart my lighter.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>I suppose you have played "tickling the dragon's tail" when you were a
-kid. I did. I guess all kids have. You know, worrying around two lumps
-of fissionable material and just keeping them from uniting and making
-a critical mass that will result in an explosion or lethal radiation.
-I caught my oldest boy doing it one day back on Earth and gave him a
-good tanning for it. Actually I thought it showed he had a lot of grit.
-Every real boy likes to tickle the dragon's tail.</p>
-
-<p>Maybe I was a little old for it, but that's what I was doing there in
-the Moran III jungle.</p>
-
-<p>I got the shield off my cigarette lighter and jerked out the dinky
-little damper rods for the pile and started easing the two little
-bricks toward each other with the point of my lead pencil.</p>
-
-<p>I heard something that resembled a death rattle come from Charlie's
-throat as the fingers of the alien closed down on it and my hand
-twitched. A blooming light stabbed at my eyes and I flicked the lighter
-away from me.</p>
-
-<p>The explosion was a dud.</p>
-
-<p>It lit up the jungle for a radius of half a mile like a giant
-flashbulb, but it exploded only about ten times as loud as a pistol
-shot. The mass hadn't been slapped together hard enough or held long
-enough to do any real damage.</p>
-
-<p>The natives weren't fools, though. They got out of there fast. I wished
-I could have gone with them. There was undoubtedly an unhealthy amount
-of radiation hanging around.</p>
-
-<p>"Now!" I told Bronoski.</p>
-
-<p>He ran into the clearing and found four bodies sprawled out: Charlie
-Baxter, his two guards and the native spokesman.</p>
-
-<p>Charlie and the native were both technically unconscious, but they each
-had a stranglehold on each other, with Charlie getting the worst of it.</p>
-
-<p>Bronoski pried the two of them apart.</p>
-
-<p>While he roused Sidney and Elliot from their punch-drunk state, I
-examined Charlie. He had a nasty burn on his leg and two toes were
-gone. If there was an explosion anywhere around, he was bound to be in
-front of it.</p>
-
-<p>He was abruptly choking and blinking watery eyes.</p>
-
-<p>"You did it, Charlie," I lied. "You beat him fair and square."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Charlie was in bed for the next few days while his grafted toes grew
-on, but he didn't seem to mind.</p>
-
-<p>We knew enough not to use the blood-brothers approach after fifty years
-and therefore it did not take us long to find out why we shouldn't.</p>
-
-<p>The Moran III culture was isolated in small colonies, but we had
-forgotten that a generation of the intelligent life-forms was only
-three Earth months. It seems a waste at first thought, but all things
-are relative. The Crystopeds of New Lichtenstein, for instance, have a
-life span of twenty thousand Terrestrial years.</p>
-
-<p>With so fast a turnover in Moran III individuals, there was bound to be
-a lot of variables introduced, resulting in change.</p>
-
-<p>The idea that seemed to be in favor was the survival of the fittest.
-Since the natives were born in litters, with single births extremely
-rare, this concept was practiced from the first. Unless they were
-particularly cunning, the runts of the litter did not survive the first
-year and rarely more than one sibling ever saw adulthood.</p>
-
-<p>Obviously, to claim to be a native's brother was to challenge him to a
-test of survival.</p>
-
-<p>My men learned to call themselves Last Brother in the usual bragging
-preliminaries that preceded every encounter. We got pretty good results
-with that approach and learned a lot about the changes in customs in
-the half century. But finally one of the men&mdash;either Frank Peirmonte or
-Sidney Charterson, who both claim to be the one&mdash;thought of calling the
-crew a Family and right away we began hitting it off famously.</p>
-
-<p>The Moranites figured we would kill each other off all except maybe
-one, whom they could handle themselves. They still had folk legends
-about the previous visit of Earthmen and they didn't trust us.</p>
-
-<p>Charlie Baxter's original mistake had supplied us with the Rosetta
-Stone we needed.</p>
-
-<p>Doctor Selby told me Charlie could get up finally, so I went to his
-suite and shook hands with him as he still lay in bed.</p>
-
-<p>I waited for the big moment when Charlie would be on his feet again
-and we could get on with the re-survey of the planet.</p>
-
-<p>"Here goes," Charlie said and threw back his sheet.</p>
-
-<p>He swung his legs around and tottered to his feet. He was a little
-weak, but he took a few steps and seemed to make it okay.</p>
-
-<p>Then the inevitable happened. He snagged the edge of one of the Persian
-carpets on the bedroom floor with his big toe and started to fall.</p>
-
-<p>Selby and I both dived forward to catch him, but instead of doing the
-arm-waving dance for balance that we were both used to, he seemed to go
-limp and he plopped on the floor like a wet fish.</p>
-
-<p>Immediately he jumped to his feet, grinning. "I finally learned to go
-limp when I take a fall, sir. It took a lot of practice. I imagine I'll
-save some broken bones that way."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes," I said uneasily. "You have been thinking about this quite a lot
-while you lay there, haven't you, Baxter?"</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir. I see I've been fighting this thing too hard. I am an
-Accident Prone and I might as well accept it. Why not? I seem to always
-muddle through some way, like out there in the jungle, so why should I
-worry or feel <i>embarrassed</i>? <i>I know I can't change</i> it."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>I was beginning to do some worrying of my own. Things weren't working
-out the way they should. We were supposed to see that Prones kept
-developing a certain amount of doomed self-confidence, but they
-couldn't be allowed to believe they were infallible Prones. A Prone's
-value lies in his active and constructive effort to do the right thing.
-If he merely accepts being a Prone, his accidents gain us nothing. We
-can't profit from mistakes that come about from resignation or laughing
-off blunders or, as in this case, conviction that he never got himself
-into anything he couldn't get himself out of.</p>
-
-<p>"Doctor Selby, would you excuse us?" I asked.</p>
-
-<p>The medic left with a bow and a surly expression. I turned to Baxter,
-rather wishing Selby could have stayed. It was a labor dispute and I
-was used to having a mediator present at bargaining sessions at my
-glassworks. But this was a military, not a civilian, spaceship.</p>
-
-<p>"I have some facts of life to give you, Baxter," I told him. "It
-is your duty to <i>actively</i> fulfill your position. You have to make
-decisions and plan courses of action. Do you figure on just walking
-around in that jungle until a tree falls on you?"</p>
-
-<p>He sat down on the edge of the bed and examined the pattern in the
-carpet. "Not exactly, sir. But I get tired of people waiting for me to
-make a fool out of myself. I have a natural talent for&mdash;for <i>Creative
-Negativism</i>. That's it. And I should be able to exercise my talent with
-<i>dignity</i>."</p>
-
-<p>"If you don't actively fulfill the obligations of a Prone, you aren't
-allowed the luxuries and privileges that go with the position. Do you
-think you would like to be without your armed guards to protect you
-every moment?"</p>
-
-<p>"I can take care of myself, sir!"</p>
-
-<p>I paused and came up with my best argument. "How would you like to
-live like an ordinary spaceman, without rare steaks and clean sheets?
-Because if you're not our Accident Prone, you're just another crew
-member, you know."</p>
-
-<p>That one hurt him, but I saw I had put it to him as a challenge and
-he must have had some guilt feelings about accepting all that luxury
-for being nothing more than he was. "I could fulfill the duties of an
-ordinary spaceman, sir."</p>
-
-<p>I snorted. "It takes skill and training, Baxter. Your papers entitle
-you to one position and one only anywhere&mdash;Accident Prone of a
-spaceship complement. If you refuse to do your duties in that post, you
-can only become a ward of the Galaxy."</p>
-
-<p>His jaw line firmed. He had gone through a lot to keep from taking such
-abject charity. "Isn't there," he asked in a milder tone, "<i>any</i> other
-position I could serve in on this ship, sir?"</p>
-
-<p>I studied his face a moment. "We had to blast off without an Assistant
-Pile Driver, j.g. It keeps getting harder and harder to recruit an APD,
-j.g. I suppose it's those reports about the eventual fatalities due to
-radiation leak back there where they are stationed."</p>
-
-<p>Baxter looked back at me steadily. "There are a lot of rumors about the
-high mortality rate among Accident Prones in space, too."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>He was right. We had started the rumors. We wanted the Prones alert,
-active and scheming to stay alive. More beneficial accidents that way.
-Actually, most Prones died of old age in space, which is more than
-could be said of them on Earth, where they didn't have the kind of
-protection the Service gives them.</p>
-
-<p>"Look here, Baxter, do you like your quarters on this ship?" I demanded.</p>
-
-<p>"You mean this master bedroom, the private heated swimming pool, the
-tennis court, bowling alley and all? Yes, sir, I like it."</p>
-
-<p>"The Assistant Pile Driver has a cot near the fuel tanks."</p>
-
-<p>He gazed off over my left shoulder. "I had a bed behind the furnace
-back on Earth before the building I was working in burned down."</p>
-
-<p>"You wouldn't like this one any better than the one before."</p>
-
-<p>"But there I would have some chance of <i>advancement</i>. I don't want to
-be stuck in the rank of Accident Prone for life."</p>
-
-<p>I stared at him in frank amazement. "Baxter, the only rank getting
-higher pay or more privileges than Prone is Grand Admiral of the
-Services, a position it would take you at least fifty years to reach if
-you had the luck and brains to make it, which you haven't."</p>
-
-<p>"I had something more modest in mind, sir. Like being a captain."</p>
-
-<p>He surely must have known how I lived in comparison to him, so I didn't
-bother to remind him. I said, "Have you ever seen a case of radiation
-poisoning?"</p>
-
-<p>Baxter's jaw thrust forward. "It must be pretty bad&mdash;but it isn't as
-violent as being eaten by floating fungi or being swallowed in an
-earthquake on some airless satellite."</p>
-
-<p>"No," I agreed, "it is much slower than any of those. It is unfortunate
-that we don't carry the necessary supplies to take care of Pile
-Drivers. Most of our medical supplies are in the Accident Prone First
-Aid Kit, for the exclusive use of the Prone. Have you ever taken a good
-look at that?"</p>
-
-<p>Baxter shivered. "Yes, I've seen it. Several drums of blood, Type AB,
-my type. A half-dozen fresh-frozen assorted arms and legs, several rows
-of eyes, a hundred square feet of graftable skin, and a well-stocked
-tank of inner organs and a double-doored bank of nerve lengths.
-Impressive."</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus2.jpg" width="600" height="178" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>I smiled. "Sort of gives you a feeling of confidence and security,
-doesn't it? It would be unfortunate for anyone who had a great many
-accidents to be denied the supplies in that Kit, I should think. Of
-course, it is available only to those filling the position of Accident
-Prone and doing the work faithfully and according to orders."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir," Charlie mumbled.</p>
-
-<p>"Selby is your personal physician, you realize," I drove on. "He takes
-care of the rest of us only if he has time left over from you. Why,
-when I was having my two weeks in the summer as an Ensign, I had to
-lie for half an hour with a crushed foot while the doctor sprayed our
-Prone's throat to guard against infection. Let me tell you, I was in
-quite a bit of pain."</p>
-
-<p>Charlie's pale eyes narrowed as if he had just made a sudden discovery,
-perhaps about the relationship between us. "You don't make as much
-money as I do, do you, sir? You don't have a valet? And your bed folds
-into the bulkhead?"</p>
-
-<p>I thought he was at last beginning to get it. "Yes," I said.</p>
-
-<p>He stood sharply to attention. "Request transfer to position of
-Assistant Pile Driver, j.g., sir."</p>
-
-<p>I barely halted a groan. He thought I resented him and was deliberately
-holding him down into the miserable overpaid, overfed job that was
-beneath him and the talents that so fitted him for the job.</p>
-
-<p>"Request granted."</p>
-
-<p>He would learn.</p>
-
-<p>He had better.</p>
-
-<p>I started to sweat in a gush. He had <i>really</i> better.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>I took him into the rear of the ship and showed him where he would
-sleep. In the oily gloom, he regarded the pad from an old acceleration
-couch fitted to two scratched and nicked aluminum pipes jury-rigged
-between two squat tanks containing water for the atomic pile used close
-to planets where the gravitational field interfered with the star-drive.</p>
-
-<p>"Over here's what you have to keep an eye on, Baxter," I told him.</p>
-
-<p>We walked past the dimly lighted rows of towering fuel lines and
-cables. Charlie tripped over the hump of a deck-level cable housing.
-His knee banged against the deck plates and he stood with an effort.</p>
-
-<p>"Careful," I said. "Now that you have limited medical attention, don't
-break a leg."</p>
-
-<p>Baxter rubbed his leg thoughtfully. "Funny. My grandfather used to be
-in show business. He told me that telling somebody to break a leg was
-wishing them good luck."</p>
-
-<p>I cleared my throat. "It would seem in dubious taste, addressed to an
-accident prone. However, you have my best wishes. You realize that your
-salary as Prone of 11,000 credits a month and your pay of 23 credits a
-month as an APD, j.g., are suspended until the Admiralty rules on your
-case."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir. I realize that, sir."</p>
-
-<p>I stopped him in front of the soiled red box that was the tension
-gauge. "If the electrical control of the drive somehow becomes broken,
-the interrupted circuit will show on the gauge. It is then the duty
-of the APD, j.g., to go through the small airlock and maintain manual
-control of the pile while at least one of the control circuits is
-repaired. The job rarely has to be done, but when it is, it is very
-often fatal."</p>
-
-<p>Baxter only nodded. "I understand."</p>
-
-<p>I doubted that he did.</p>
-
-<p>After leaving Baxter on his first watch, I went to the messhall and
-waited for him to show up. The men knew what to do when he came.</p>
-
-<p>It was rather pleasant to sit there savoring the odors. At times, they
-still seem more like those of a chemical laboratory than a kitchen,
-but I have become so used to associating burning starch products,
-centrifuged tannic acid, and melting dextrose with food that I am
-almost immune to the aroma of Prone food like juicy, sizzling steak.
-Almost.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Charlie Baxter finally came through the hatch. He paused and seemed to
-shake off what he must have thought was some olfactory hallucination
-and started to sit down at the table with the rest of the men. He
-looked rather pleased. He had probably decided being Accident Prone had
-deprived him of much of the company he had every right to enjoy with
-his shipmates.</p>
-
-<p>"Get out of here!" Frank Peirmonte yelled, jumping up from the other
-end of the oblong table.</p>
-
-<p>"Why?" Baxter asked in astonishment.</p>
-
-<p>"Baxter," I put in, "I'm afraid the men think they may catch radiation
-fever from a pile driver like you."</p>
-
-<p>"Catch radiation fever?" he repeated. "Men have been exposed to
-atomics for hundreds of years. Surely you men must know any poisoning
-in one individual can't be transmitted to another like germs. I
-couldn't absorb enough radiation to be dangerous to you in simple
-proximity and still be alive. Don't you see that?"</p>
-
-<p>At once, all of my crew at the table covered their faces with their
-arms.</p>
-
-<p>"Don't look at us!" Bronoski screamed, his voice knifing toward the
-higher octaves.</p>
-
-<p>Baxter gaped in a daze from one of us to the other. "What do you mean?
-Why shouldn't I look at you?"</p>
-
-<p>"You've got The Eye! <i>All</i> pile drivers get it."</p>
-
-<p>"But I have to eat," he objected. "I'm hungry. Really I am."</p>
-
-<p>I swung around and exchanged a few words with Tan Eck, the cook, at the
-rear hatch. I took a steaming tray and went across the compartment,
-averting my face.</p>
-
-<p>"You will have to forgive these superstitious spacemen," I apologized
-to Baxter. "You go right ahead and eat just outside the door. I won't
-mind a bit."</p>
-
-<p>"Thanks," Baxter said, accepting the plate. He looked down at the white
-paste, black gum and cup of yellowish liquid fitted in the proper holes
-and slots, then up at me. "What is this stuff?"</p>
-
-<p>"You don't have to look right at me!" I snapped. "It is standard
-spaceman's fare&mdash;re-reconstituted carbohydrates, protein and hot ground
-roasted soya. This is stuff we had left over on our plates from lunch,
-all set to go into the converter, but Tan Eck reprocessed it for you.
-It's what regulations specify for an APD, j.g."</p>
-
-<p>Baxter opened his mouth and closed it hard. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."</p>
-
-<p>He turned smartly to leave and I halted him with a palm up. "Baxter."</p>
-
-<p>He turned. "Yes, sir?"</p>
-
-<p>"We are moving to the other side of the continent to continue with
-the re-survey. I want to make it clear to you that you are absolutely
-forbidden to leave the ship. We can't spare the guards for your
-liabilities, now that you have thrown away your value."</p>
-
-<p>"Yes, sir."</p>
-
-<p>Even at the time, I was gratified by the sudden thoughtful narrowing of
-his eyes.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>I wasn't surprised the next day when Bronoski reported that Charlie
-Baxter had taken a bacpac&mdash;food, soap, blankets and so forth&mdash;and
-left the <i>Hilliard</i>. He was determined to prove that he wasn't merely
-Accident Prone and could get things done on his own.</p>
-
-<p>"Charterson and Von Elderman are following him?" I asked.</p>
-
-<p>Bronoski nodded his bullet-shaped head. "Like a hawk."</p>
-
-<p>"The Bird can follow him like a hawk. I want them to follow him like
-men."</p>
-
-<p>"They are as good at the job as I am," Bronoski reassured me.</p>
-
-<p>"I think," I said quickly, "that I had better go down to Communications
-and follow Baxter myself."</p>
-
-<p>The Bird was an electronic device. It looked like a local life-form
-that was actually a flying mammal. Inside the thing was was a sensitive
-video camera and a self-propulsion unit.</p>
-
-<p>The Bird homed in on Baxter's electroencephalograph waves.</p>
-
-<p>The view on the screen in front of the lounging chairs was clear but
-monotonous.</p>
-
-<p>Charlie made his way across the landscape, woods on this side of the
-continent, not jungle, without incident. He did fall down like a wet
-laundry bag every so often, but that, as you'd figure, amounted to
-traveling across country without incident. He'd have done the same on a
-smooth pavement.</p>
-
-<p>I had a cigarette in my mouth, futilely pounding my pockets for the
-lighter I didn't have, when Charlie met the alien.</p>
-
-<p>There was only one native this time, the same thin form, but more
-lightly clothed here. I shifted uneasily and hoped the two guards were
-close. There was only one this time, but it was useless to suppose
-Charlie could handle him himself.</p>
-
-<p>"Greetings," Charlie said. "I am Big Brother of a new Family."</p>
-
-<p>There was no sound equipment in the Bird, but the translator circuits
-in the control board read Baxter's lips and produced their sound
-patterns for us. They would also translate the native's language, but
-just then he wasn't saying anything.</p>
-
-<p>He walked around the Prone leisurely, as if considering buying him.</p>
-
-<p>Charlie shifted the straps of his pack. He hadn't been convinced of his
-own abilities enough to take along a gun or any other kind of weapon.
-He would be almost sure to kill himself with it.</p>
-
-<p>Or would he?</p>
-
-<p>I suddenly wondered if Charlie doubted himself enough to commit
-outright suicide. He had had plenty of close calls, yet he had always
-survived. If his goal was self-destruction, he surely would have
-reached it after this many opportunities.</p>
-
-<p>I watched the screen intently.</p>
-
-<p>Charlie thought he was alone there with a possibly hostile native.
-All he had to do was make one small slip and he would be dead. Yet,
-so far, he had followed the pattern we had used at the other colony
-exactly.</p>
-
-<p>Instantly I realized that it <i>must</i> be a mistake to follow the other
-pattern with this second group of aliens, if Charlie Baxter did it.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>At first I couldn't understand why the pattern should be wrong for this
-group if it was right for the first. They were close enough so that
-there must have been intercourse between them, and if customs were
-violently different, there would probably be a state of warfare between
-them and none was apparent.</p>
-
-<p>I finally realized why warfare would be almost impossible and why the
-customs of the separated colonies might be extremely at odds.</p>
-
-<p>The colonies were three months apart by fastest transportation, which
-was longer than a generation of the natives. No one could live long
-enough to reach a second colony, so each culture developed in isolation
-along entirely random lines.</p>
-
-<p>I felt like yelling at Charlie. There was literally no way of telling
-how he might be offending and antagonizing this Moranite by treating
-him as we had learned to treat the others.</p>
-
-<p>The alien finally spoke. "You are part of a&mdash;Family?"</p>
-
-<p>Charlie nodded his head.</p>
-
-<p>So did the native&mdash;he bobbed Charlie's head with a rock.</p>
-
-<p>"Close in on 'em fast but gentle," I radioed the guards.</p>
-
-<p>The native dragged Baxter's limp body through a nearby thicket and into
-a small clearing. Abruptly I saw they were up against the base of the
-nearest mountain. A bubbling, dancing stream twisted through brown and
-green rock and disappeared into a ridge of gray slate. It reappeared
-below the hill, steaming, obviously passing through an underground hot
-springs.</p>
-
-<p>The alien had Charlie where he wanted him before we could move. He
-lashed him securely with stringy vine and, with him thrown over his
-shoulder, ran up the slate, which rumbled down ominously behind them.
-He tossed Charlie over a wide hole at the top of the ridge. Slate
-rained down into the hole. If the Prone hadn't snapped awake and made
-his body rigid, he would have tumbled into the hole at that moment.</p>
-
-<p>"So you wake, Familyman," the native said. "How could you admit to
-being anything so immoral when you were alone? You surely did not think
-you could eat me without help from the others of your evil brothers!"</p>
-
-<p>Charlie licked his lips and moved his eyes; that was about all he
-dared move. "You&mdash;don't approve of families?"</p>
-
-<p>The native drew himself up to his full elongated height in the screen.
-"Like all good People, I was properly abandoned at birth and I proudly
-say I have never associated with others except for Mating and Trading."</p>
-
-<p>I noticed abstractly that he finished moving his lips long before the
-translation was finished. He was using a very primitive language. I
-screwed the button nervously in my ear for Charterson and Von Elderman
-to report.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The alien looked at the rigid form of Baxter over the pit. "I suppose
-I should have some pity for you. You began your filthy practice too
-young to know better. But imagine! Combining with others of your kind
-to survive&mdash;at the expense of decent individuals like myself. Robbing
-us, eating us. The Finger of Fire will come soon and will destroy you.
-I have heard Familymen often try to aid one another. Perhaps others of
-your kind will die with you!"</p>
-
-<p>He was gone long before the translation was finished, leaving Charlie
-Baxter arched across a pit that widened as the alien's descent
-disturbed more of the soft shale.</p>
-
-<p>The native was out of sight. I realized his tribe would soon be
-extinct. The racial mind for the whole species seemed obsessed with
-survival by natural selection, but his tribe had gone off on the
-tangent of individualism, which was fine to some extent, but the
-Service had learned that a race couldn't survive without <i>some</i> degree
-of cooperation and this one's level of mating and trading did not seem
-sufficient.</p>
-
-<p>"Captain Jackson!" Von Elderman's voice said in my ear. "We can't reach
-him! If we start up that hill, the soft shale is bound to shift and
-drop him right into that hole."</p>
-
-<p>"I'll send Bronoski with a personal flyer immediately to make an air
-pickup," I said numbly.</p>
-
-<p>It wasn't the guards' fault. Charlie hadn't seemed to be in any
-immediate danger and we don't kill intelligent life-forms without
-damned good reason&mdash;the kind of reason that stands up in court. But
-he was now stretched over what I was fairly certain was an active
-geyser&mdash;"The Finger of Fire," the native had called it, and had assured
-Charlie that it would kill him.</p>
-
-<p>I dispatched Bronoski, but that was all I could do. I did not know when
-the geyser would spout. Maybe Bronoski would make it. Maybe he wouldn't.</p>
-
-<p>I magnified the view from the useless little Bird and studied
-Charlie's face in the screen. If he lay there doing nothing, waiting
-for a miracle to happen, he was&mdash;I shuddered&mdash;cooked. He had to make an
-active decision.</p>
-
-<p>If he didn't, he was almost sure to die.</p>
-
-<p>But maybe that was what he wanted. Maybe accident prones really want to
-destroy themselves.</p>
-
-<p>It was his bid.</p>
-
-<p>Slate dropped off the rim of the hole into the pit and Charlie
-stiffened. More passive acceptance. But maybe I wasn't being fair.
-There wasn't much Charlie could do. There wasn't much else for him to
-do except give up.</p>
-
-<p>But I noticed his eyes moving. They went up to the bubbling ribbon of
-water and down to the steaming stream below the ridge where it emerged.
-Charlie smiled. He had made a decision.</p>
-
-<p>He folded his knees and dropped into the hole.</p>
-
-<p>He had naturally made the wrong decision. Bronoski in the flying
-platform swung into position above the pit.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Charlie must have figured that he would be washed on through the hot
-springs and out into the shallow water below. He would be, but he would
-be boiled alive.</p>
-
-<p>Only there are mistakes and mistakes, and sometimes mistakes aren't
-mistakes at all.</p>
-
-<p>The geyser exploded, higher, faster and harder than it ever had before.
-And Charlie, half-drowned and half-or-more scalded, popped up and
-landed in the brush twenty feet away.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus3.jpg" width="403" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>Bronoski fought for control of his flyer and finally made a fast pickup.</p>
-
-<p>Doc Selby did a pretty good job with the First Aid Kit. Charlie's neck
-and collarbone were broken and over fifty per cent of his skin had to
-be replaced. Still, it was lucky Charlie had that concentrated soap in
-his pack. Ever been to Earth National Park and seen Old Faithful? You
-know what happened&mdash;they use soap to get the geyser spouting when it's
-off schedule.</p>
-
-<p>We haven't told Charlie that it was anything but an accident that
-Bronoski was so handy. And we let him tell us about the changed customs
-of the natives. He resumed his regular position of Accident Prone when
-he saw realistically that he would inevitably be doing the same work
-and that he might as well get paid for it.</p>
-
-<p>I often wonder if it was a genuine mistake the way he dropped into the
-geyser. Certainly he would have died if it hadn't been for the soap
-concentrates. If he took that into consideration, though, it wasn't a
-mistake at all, but a wise choice.</p>
-
-<p>A few days ago, when he was leaving my office&mdash;that is, the bridge&mdash;I
-saw Charlie slip and start to fall. He didn't give up and go limp. He
-gave his old dance of struggling to regain his balance. <i>Only this time
-he made it!</i></p>
-
-<p>I began sweating again.</p>
-
-<p>After all the time, effort and money the Service puts into acquiring
-and training a Prone, I wonder if it is possible for one to beat his
-problem and cease to be an Accident Prone or even an accident prone.</p>
-
-<p>This afternoon, I passed Charlie Baxter's swimming pool and saw him
-poised on his diving board. I waved and rather jauntily extended his
-grandfather's wish for good luck: "Break a leg."</p>
-
-<p>Charlie grinned back at me. "Yes, sir."</p>
-
-<p>But he didn't.</p>
-
-<p>It would be very reassuring if he would.</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Break a Leg, by Jim Harmon
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-Title: Break a Leg
-
-Author: Jim Harmon
-
-Release Date: February 28, 2016 [EBook #51320]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BREAK A LEG ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- BREAK A LEG
-
- By JIM HARMON
-
- Illustrated by GAUGHAN
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Galaxy Science Fiction November 1957.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
- The man worth while couldn't be allowed
- to smile ... if he ever laughed at himself,
- the entire ship and crew were as good as dead!
-
-
-If there is anything I am afraid of, and there probably is, it is
-having a rookie Accident Prone, half-starved from the unemployment
-lines, aboard my spaceship. They are always so anxious to please. They
-remember what it is like to live in a rathole behind an apartment
-house furnace eating day-old bread and wilted vegetables, which doesn't
-compare favorably to the Admiralty-style staterooms and steak and
-caviar they draw down in the Exploration Service.
-
-You may wonder why anybody should make things so pleasant for a grownup
-who can't walk a city block without tripping over his own feet and who
-has a very low life expectancy on Earth due to the automobiles they are
-constantly stepping in front of and the live wires they are fond of
-picking up so the street won't be littered.
-
-The Admiralty, however, is a very thorough group of men. Before they
-open a planet to colonization or even fraternization, they insist on
-knowing just what they are up against.
-
-Accident Prones can find out what is wrong with a planet as easily
-as falling off a log, which they will if there is one lonely tree on
-the whole world. A single pit of quicksand on a veritable Eden of a
-planet and a Prone will be knee-deep in it within an hour of blastdown.
-If an alien race will smile patronizingly on your heroic attempts at
-genocide, but be offended into a murderous religious frenzy if you blow
-your nose, you can take the long end of the odds that the Prone will
-almost immediately catch a cold.
-
-All of this is properly recorded for the next expedition in the
-Admiralty files, and if it's any consolation, high officials and screen
-stars often visit you in the hospital.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Charlie Baxter was like all of the other Prones, only worse. Moran III
-was sort of an unofficial test for him and he wanted to make good. We
-had blasted down in the black of night and were waiting for daylight to
-begin our re-survey of the planet. It was Charlie's first assignment,
-so we had an easy one--just seeing if anything new had developed in the
-last fifty years.
-
-Baxter's guard was doubled as soon as we set down, of course, and
-that made him fidgety. He had heard all the stories about how high
-the casualty rate was with Prones aboard spaceships and now he was
-beginning to get nervous.
-
-Actually Charlie was safer in space than he would be back on Earth
-with all those cars and people. We could have told him how the Service
-practically never lost a Prone--they were too valuable and rare to
-lose--but we did not want him to stop worrying. The precautions we
-took to safeguard him, the armed men who went with him everywhere, the
-Accident Prone First Aid Kit with spare parts for him, blood, eyes,
-bone, nerves, arms, legs, and so forth, only emphasized to him the
-danger, not the rigidly secured safety.
-
-We like it that way.
-
-No one knows what causes an accident prone. The big insurance
-companies on Earth discovered them when they found out in the last part
-of the nineteenth century that ninety per cent of the accidents were
-happening to a few per cent of the people. They soon found out that
-these people were not malingering or trying to defraud anybody; they
-simply had accidents.
-
-I suppose everything from psychology to extra-sensory perception has
-been used to explain or explain away prones. I have my own ideas. I
-think an accident prone is simply a super-genius with a super-doubt of
-himself.
-
-I believe accident prones have a better system of calculation than a
-cybernetic machine. They can take _everything_ into consideration--the
-humidity, their blood sugar, the expression on the other guy's
-face--and somewhere in the corners and attic of their brain they
-_infallibly_ make the _right_ choice in any given situation. Then,
-because they are incapable of trusting themselves, they do exactly the
-opposite.
-
-I felt a little sorry for Charlie Baxter, but I was Captain of the
-_Hilliard_ and my job was to keep him worried and trying. The worst
-thing that can happen is for a Prone to give up and let himself sink
-into the fate of being a Prone. He will wear the rut right down into a
-tomb.
-
-Accident Prones have to stay worried and thinking, trying to break
-out of the jinx that traps them. Usually they come to discover this
-themselves, but by then, if they are real professionals with a career
-in the Service, they have framed the right attitude and they keep it.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Baxter was a novice and very much of an amateur at the game. He didn't
-like the scoring system, but he was attached to the equipment and
-didn't want to lose it.
-
-His clumsiness back on Earth had cost him every decent job he ever had.
-He had come all the way down the line until he was rated eligible only
-for the position of Prone aboard a spaceship. He had been poor--hungry,
-cold, wet, poor--and now he had luxury of a kind almost no one had in
-our era. He was drunk with it, passionately in love with it. It would
-cease to be quite so important after a few years of regular food, clean
-clothes and a solid roof to keep out the rain. But right now I knew he
-would come precariously close to killing to keep it. Or to being killed.
-
-He was ready to work.
-
-I knocked politely on his hatch and straightened my tunic. I have
-always admired the men who can look starched in a uniform. Mine always
-seemed to wrinkle as soon as I put them around my raw-boned frame.
-Sometimes it is hard for me to keep a military appearance or manner. I
-got my commission during the Crisis ten years back, because of my work
-in the reserve unit that I created out of my employees in the glass
-works (glassware blown to order for laboratories).
-
-Someone said something through the door and I went inside.
-
-Bronoski looked at me over the top of his picture tape from where he
-lay on the sofa. No one else was in the compartment.
-
-"Where is Baxter?" I asked the hulking guard. My eyes were on the sofa.
-My own bed pulled out of the wall and was considerably inferior to
-this, much less Baxter's bed in the next cabin. But then I am only a
-captain.
-
-Bronoski swung his feet off the couch and stood more or less in what I
-might have taken for attention if I hadn't known him better. "Sidney
-and Elliot escorted him down to the men's room, Captain Jackson."
-
-"You mean," I said very quietly, "that he isn't in his own bath?"
-
-"No sir," Bronoski said wearily. "He told us it was out of order."
-
-I stifled the gurgle of rage that came into my throat and motioned
-Bronoski to follow me. The engines on the _Hilliard_ were more likely
-to be out of order than the plumbing in the Accident Prone's suite. No
-effort was spared to insure comfort for the key man in the whole crew.
-
-One glance inside the compartment at the end of the corridor satisfied
-me. There wasn't a thing wrong with the plumbing, so Baxter must have
-had something in mind.
-
-On a hunch of my own, I checked the supply lockers next to the airlock
-while Bronoski fired questions at my back. Three translator collars
-were missing. Baxter had left the spaceship and gone off into an alien
-night.
-
-Elliot and Sidney, the guards, were absolutely prohibited from
-interfering in any way with a Prone's decisions. They merely had to
-follow him and give their lives to save his, if necessary.
-
-I grabbed up a translator collar and tossed one to Bronoski. Then, just
-as we were getting into the airlock, I remembered something and ran
-back to the bridge.
-
-The thick brown envelope I had left on my desk was gone. I had shown
-it to Baxter and informed him that he should study it when he felt so
-inclined. He had seemed bored with the idea then, but he had come back
-for the report before leaving the ship. The envelope contained the
-exploration survey on Moran III made some fifty years before.
-
-I unlocked a desk drawer with my thumb print and drew out a duplicate
-of the report. I didn't have too much confidence in it and I hoped
-Charlie Baxter had less. Lots of things can change on a planet in fifty
-years, including its inhabitants.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Bronoski picked up Baxter's tracks and those of the two guards, Elliot
-and Sidney, with ultra-violet light. They were cold splotches of green
-fire against the rotting black peat of the jungle path. The whole dark,
-tangled mess smelled of sour mash, an intoxicating bourbon-type aroma.
-
-I jogged along following the big man more by instinct than anything
-else, ruining my eyes in an effort to refresh my memory as to the
-contents of the survey report in the cheery little glow from my
-cigarette lighter.
-
-The lighter was beginning to feel hot to my fingers and I started to
-worry about radiation leak, although they are supposed to be guaranteed
-perfectly shielded. I read that before the last exploration party had
-left, they had made the Moranite natives blood brothers. Then Bronoski
-knocked me down.
-
-Actually he put his hands in the small of my back and shoved politely
-but firmly. Just the same, I went face down into the moist dirt fast
-enough.
-
-I raised my head cautiously to see if Bronoski would shove it back
-down. He didn't.
-
-I could see through the stringy, alcoholic grass fairly well and there
-were Baxter, Elliot and Sidney in the middle of a curious mob of aliens.
-
-Charlie Baxter had got pretty thin on his starvation diet back on
-Earth. He had grown a slight pot belly on the good food he drew down as
-Prone, but he was a fairly nice-looking young fellow. He looked even
-better in the pale moonlight, mixed amber and chartreuse from the twin
-satellites, and in contrast to the rest of the group.
-
-Elliot Charterson and Sidney Von Elderman were more or less type-cast
-as brawny, brainless bodyguards. Their friends described them as
-muscle-bound apes, but other people sometimes got insulting.
-
-The natives were less formidable. They made the slight lump of fat
-Charlie had at his waist look positively indecent.
-
-The natives were _skinny_. How skinny? Well, the only curves they had
-in their bodies were their bulging eyeballs. But just because they were
-thin didn't mean they were pushovers. Whips and garrotes aren't fat and
-these looked just as dangerous.
-
-Whenever I see aliens who are so humanoid, I remember all that Sunday
-supplement stuff about the Galaxy being colonized sometime by one
-humanlike race and the Ten Lost Tribes and so forth.
-
-They didn't give me much time to think about it just then. The natives
-looked unhappy--belligerently unhappy.
-
-I began to shake and at the same time to assure myself that I didn't
-have anything to worry about, that the precious Accident Prone would
-come out of it alive. After all, Elliot and Sidney were there to
-protect him. They had machine guns, flame-throwers, atomic grenades,
-and some really potent weapons. They could handle the situation. I
-didn't have a thing to worry about.
-
-So why couldn't I stop shaking?
-
-Maybe it was the way the natives were slowly but deliberately forming a
-circle about Charlie and his bodyguards.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The clothing of the Moranites hadn't changed much, I noticed. That was
-understandable. They had a non-mechanical civilization with scattered
-colonies that it would take a terrestrial season to tour by animal cart.
-
-An isolated culture like that couldn't change many of its customs.
-Then Charlie shouldn't have any trouble if he stuck to the findings on
-behavior in the report. Naturally, that meant by now he had discovered
-the fatal error.
-
-The three men were just standing still, waiting for the aliens to make
-the first move. The natives looked just as worried as Charlie and his
-guards, but then that might have been their natural expression.
-
-I jumped a little when the natives all began to talk at once. The
-mixture of sound was fed to me through my translator collar while the
-cybernetic unit back on board the spaceship tried decoding the words.
-It was too much of an overload and, infuriatingly, the sound was cut
-out altogether. I started to rip my collar off when the natives stopped
-screeching and a spokesman stepped forward.
-
-The native slumped a little more than the others, as if he were more
-relaxed, and his eyes didn't goggle so much. He said, "We do not
-understand," and the translation came through fine.
-
-Baxter swallowed and started forward to meet the alien halfway. His
-boot slipped on the wet scrub grass and I saw him do the desperate
-little dance to regain his balance that I had seen him make so many
-times; he could never stay on his feet.
-
-Before he could perform his usual pratfall, Sidney and Elliot were
-at his sides, supporting him by his thin biceps. He glared at them
-and shrugged them off, informing them wordlessly that he would have
-regained his balance if they had given him half a chance.
-
-"We do not understand," the native repeated. "Do you hold us in so much
-contempt as to claim _all_ of us as your brothers?"
-
-"All beings are brothers," Charlie said. "We were made blood brothers
-by your people and my people several hundred of your years ago."
-
-Charlie's words were being translated into the native language, of
-course, but Bronoski's collars and mine switched them back into
-Terrestrial. I've read stories where explorers wearing translators
-couldn't understand each other, but that isn't the way it works. If you
-listen closely, you make out the words in your own language underneath,
-and if you pay very close attention, you can find minor semantic
-differences in the original words and the echo translated back from a
-native language.
-
-I was trying to catch both versions from Charlie. I knew he was making
-a mistake and later I wanted to be sure I knew just what it was.
-Frankly, I would have used the blood-brother gambit myself. I had also
-read about it in the survey report, as I made a point of telling you.
-This just proves that Accident Prones haven't secured the franchise on
-mistakes. The difference is that I would have gone about it a lot more
-cautiously.
-
-"Enough of this," the native said sharply. "Do you claim to be _my_
-brother?"
-
-"Sure," Charlie said.
-
-Dispassionately but automatically, the alien launched himself at the
-Prone's throat.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Charterson and Von Elderman instantly went into action. Elliot
-Charterson jumped to Charlie's assistance while Sidney Von Elderman
-swung around to protect Charlie from the rest of the crowd.
-
-But the defense didn't work.
-
-The other aliens didn't try to get to Baxter, but when they saw Elliot
-start to interfere with the two writhing opponents, they clawed him
-down into the grass. Sidney had been set to defend the Prone, not his
-fellow guard. They might have been all right if he had pulled a few
-off Elliot and let him get to work, except his training told him that
-the life of a guard did not matter a twit, but that a Prone must be
-defended. He started toward Charlie Baxter and was immediately pulled
-down by a spare dozen of the mob.
-
-It all meant one thing to me. The reaction of the crowd had been
-spontaneous, not planned. That meant that the struggle between Charlie
-and the spokesman was a high order of single combat with which it was
-unholy, indecent and dastardly to interfere.
-
-I could fairly hear Bronoski's steel muscles preparing for battle as
-he saw his two mammoth pals go down under the press of numbers. A
-bristle-covered bullet of skull rose out of the grass beside me and it
-was my turn to grind his face in the muck.
-
-I had a nice little problem to contend with.
-
-I knew the reason Baxter had slipped out at night to be the first to
-greet the aliens. He was determined to be useful and necessary without
-fouling things up. I suppose Charlie had never felt valuable to anyone
-before in his life, but at the same time it hurt him to think that he
-was valuable only because he was a misfit.
-
-He had decided to take a positive approach. If he did things right,
-that would be as good proof of conditions as if he made the mistakes he
-was supposed to do. But he couldn't lick that doubt of himself that had
-been ground into him since birth and there he was, in trouble as always.
-
-Now maybe Bronoski and I could get him out ourselves by a direct
-approach, but Charlie would probably lose all self-confidence and sink
-down into accepting himself as an Accident Prone, a purely passive
-state.
-
-We couldn't have that. We had to have Charlie acting and thinking and
-therefore making mistakes whose bad examples we could profit by.
-
-As I lay on my belly thinking, Charlie was putting up a pretty good
-fight with the stringy native. He got in a few good punches, which
-seemed to mystify the native, who apparently knew nothing of boxing.
-Naturally Charlie then began wrestling a trained and deadly wrestler
-instead of continuing to box him.
-
-I grabbed Bronoski by his puffy ear and hissed some commands into
-it. He fumbled out a book of matches and lit one for me. By the tiny
-flicker of light, I began tearing apart my lighter.
-
- * * * * *
-
-I suppose you have played "tickling the dragon's tail" when you were a
-kid. I did. I guess all kids have. You know, worrying around two lumps
-of fissionable material and just keeping them from uniting and making
-a critical mass that will result in an explosion or lethal radiation.
-I caught my oldest boy doing it one day back on Earth and gave him a
-good tanning for it. Actually I thought it showed he had a lot of grit.
-Every real boy likes to tickle the dragon's tail.
-
-Maybe I was a little old for it, but that's what I was doing there in
-the Moran III jungle.
-
-I got the shield off my cigarette lighter and jerked out the dinky
-little damper rods for the pile and started easing the two little
-bricks toward each other with the point of my lead pencil.
-
-I heard something that resembled a death rattle come from Charlie's
-throat as the fingers of the alien closed down on it and my hand
-twitched. A blooming light stabbed at my eyes and I flicked the lighter
-away from me.
-
-The explosion was a dud.
-
-It lit up the jungle for a radius of half a mile like a giant
-flashbulb, but it exploded only about ten times as loud as a pistol
-shot. The mass hadn't been slapped together hard enough or held long
-enough to do any real damage.
-
-The natives weren't fools, though. They got out of there fast. I wished
-I could have gone with them. There was undoubtedly an unhealthy amount
-of radiation hanging around.
-
-"Now!" I told Bronoski.
-
-He ran into the clearing and found four bodies sprawled out: Charlie
-Baxter, his two guards and the native spokesman.
-
-Charlie and the native were both technically unconscious, but they each
-had a stranglehold on each other, with Charlie getting the worst of it.
-
-Bronoski pried the two of them apart.
-
-While he roused Sidney and Elliot from their punch-drunk state, I
-examined Charlie. He had a nasty burn on his leg and two toes were
-gone. If there was an explosion anywhere around, he was bound to be in
-front of it.
-
-He was abruptly choking and blinking watery eyes.
-
-"You did it, Charlie," I lied. "You beat him fair and square."
-
- * * * * *
-
-Charlie was in bed for the next few days while his grafted toes grew
-on, but he didn't seem to mind.
-
-We knew enough not to use the blood-brothers approach after fifty years
-and therefore it did not take us long to find out why we shouldn't.
-
-The Moran III culture was isolated in small colonies, but we had
-forgotten that a generation of the intelligent life-forms was only
-three Earth months. It seems a waste at first thought, but all things
-are relative. The Crystopeds of New Lichtenstein, for instance, have a
-life span of twenty thousand Terrestrial years.
-
-With so fast a turnover in Moran III individuals, there was bound to be
-a lot of variables introduced, resulting in change.
-
-The idea that seemed to be in favor was the survival of the fittest.
-Since the natives were born in litters, with single births extremely
-rare, this concept was practiced from the first. Unless they were
-particularly cunning, the runts of the litter did not survive the first
-year and rarely more than one sibling ever saw adulthood.
-
-Obviously, to claim to be a native's brother was to challenge him to a
-test of survival.
-
-My men learned to call themselves Last Brother in the usual bragging
-preliminaries that preceded every encounter. We got pretty good results
-with that approach and learned a lot about the changes in customs in
-the half century. But finally one of the men--either Frank Peirmonte or
-Sidney Charterson, who both claim to be the one--thought of calling the
-crew a Family and right away we began hitting it off famously.
-
-The Moranites figured we would kill each other off all except maybe
-one, whom they could handle themselves. They still had folk legends
-about the previous visit of Earthmen and they didn't trust us.
-
-Charlie Baxter's original mistake had supplied us with the Rosetta
-Stone we needed.
-
-Doctor Selby told me Charlie could get up finally, so I went to his
-suite and shook hands with him as he still lay in bed.
-
-I waited for the big moment when Charlie would be on his feet again
-and we could get on with the re-survey of the planet.
-
-"Here goes," Charlie said and threw back his sheet.
-
-He swung his legs around and tottered to his feet. He was a little
-weak, but he took a few steps and seemed to make it okay.
-
-Then the inevitable happened. He snagged the edge of one of the Persian
-carpets on the bedroom floor with his big toe and started to fall.
-
-Selby and I both dived forward to catch him, but instead of doing the
-arm-waving dance for balance that we were both used to, he seemed to go
-limp and he plopped on the floor like a wet fish.
-
-Immediately he jumped to his feet, grinning. "I finally learned to go
-limp when I take a fall, sir. It took a lot of practice. I imagine I'll
-save some broken bones that way."
-
-"Yes," I said uneasily. "You have been thinking about this quite a lot
-while you lay there, haven't you, Baxter?"
-
-"Yes, sir. I see I've been fighting this thing too hard. I am an
-Accident Prone and I might as well accept it. Why not? I seem to always
-muddle through some way, like out there in the jungle, so why should I
-worry or feel _embarrassed_? _I know I can't change_ it."
-
- * * * * *
-
-I was beginning to do some worrying of my own. Things weren't working
-out the way they should. We were supposed to see that Prones kept
-developing a certain amount of doomed self-confidence, but they
-couldn't be allowed to believe they were infallible Prones. A Prone's
-value lies in his active and constructive effort to do the right thing.
-If he merely accepts being a Prone, his accidents gain us nothing. We
-can't profit from mistakes that come about from resignation or laughing
-off blunders or, as in this case, conviction that he never got himself
-into anything he couldn't get himself out of.
-
-"Doctor Selby, would you excuse us?" I asked.
-
-The medic left with a bow and a surly expression. I turned to Baxter,
-rather wishing Selby could have stayed. It was a labor dispute and I
-was used to having a mediator present at bargaining sessions at my
-glassworks. But this was a military, not a civilian, spaceship.
-
-"I have some facts of life to give you, Baxter," I told him. "It
-is your duty to _actively_ fulfill your position. You have to make
-decisions and plan courses of action. Do you figure on just walking
-around in that jungle until a tree falls on you?"
-
-He sat down on the edge of the bed and examined the pattern in the
-carpet. "Not exactly, sir. But I get tired of people waiting for me to
-make a fool out of myself. I have a natural talent for--for _Creative
-Negativism_. That's it. And I should be able to exercise my talent with
-_dignity_."
-
-"If you don't actively fulfill the obligations of a Prone, you aren't
-allowed the luxuries and privileges that go with the position. Do you
-think you would like to be without your armed guards to protect you
-every moment?"
-
-"I can take care of myself, sir!"
-
-I paused and came up with my best argument. "How would you like to
-live like an ordinary spaceman, without rare steaks and clean sheets?
-Because if you're not our Accident Prone, you're just another crew
-member, you know."
-
-That one hurt him, but I saw I had put it to him as a challenge and
-he must have had some guilt feelings about accepting all that luxury
-for being nothing more than he was. "I could fulfill the duties of an
-ordinary spaceman, sir."
-
-I snorted. "It takes skill and training, Baxter. Your papers entitle
-you to one position and one only anywhere--Accident Prone of a
-spaceship complement. If you refuse to do your duties in that post, you
-can only become a ward of the Galaxy."
-
-His jaw line firmed. He had gone through a lot to keep from taking such
-abject charity. "Isn't there," he asked in a milder tone, "_any_ other
-position I could serve in on this ship, sir?"
-
-I studied his face a moment. "We had to blast off without an Assistant
-Pile Driver, j.g. It keeps getting harder and harder to recruit an APD,
-j.g. I suppose it's those reports about the eventual fatalities due to
-radiation leak back there where they are stationed."
-
-Baxter looked back at me steadily. "There are a lot of rumors about the
-high mortality rate among Accident Prones in space, too."
-
- * * * * *
-
-He was right. We had started the rumors. We wanted the Prones alert,
-active and scheming to stay alive. More beneficial accidents that way.
-Actually, most Prones died of old age in space, which is more than
-could be said of them on Earth, where they didn't have the kind of
-protection the Service gives them.
-
-"Look here, Baxter, do you like your quarters on this ship?" I demanded.
-
-"You mean this master bedroom, the private heated swimming pool, the
-tennis court, bowling alley and all? Yes, sir, I like it."
-
-"The Assistant Pile Driver has a cot near the fuel tanks."
-
-He gazed off over my left shoulder. "I had a bed behind the furnace
-back on Earth before the building I was working in burned down."
-
-"You wouldn't like this one any better than the one before."
-
-"But there I would have some chance of _advancement_. I don't want to
-be stuck in the rank of Accident Prone for life."
-
-I stared at him in frank amazement. "Baxter, the only rank getting
-higher pay or more privileges than Prone is Grand Admiral of the
-Services, a position it would take you at least fifty years to reach if
-you had the luck and brains to make it, which you haven't."
-
-"I had something more modest in mind, sir. Like being a captain."
-
-He surely must have known how I lived in comparison to him, so I didn't
-bother to remind him. I said, "Have you ever seen a case of radiation
-poisoning?"
-
-Baxter's jaw thrust forward. "It must be pretty bad--but it isn't as
-violent as being eaten by floating fungi or being swallowed in an
-earthquake on some airless satellite."
-
-"No," I agreed, "it is much slower than any of those. It is unfortunate
-that we don't carry the necessary supplies to take care of Pile
-Drivers. Most of our medical supplies are in the Accident Prone First
-Aid Kit, for the exclusive use of the Prone. Have you ever taken a good
-look at that?"
-
-Baxter shivered. "Yes, I've seen it. Several drums of blood, Type AB,
-my type. A half-dozen fresh-frozen assorted arms and legs, several rows
-of eyes, a hundred square feet of graftable skin, and a well-stocked
-tank of inner organs and a double-doored bank of nerve lengths.
-Impressive."
-
-I smiled. "Sort of gives you a feeling of confidence and security,
-doesn't it? It would be unfortunate for anyone who had a great many
-accidents to be denied the supplies in that Kit, I should think. Of
-course, it is available only to those filling the position of Accident
-Prone and doing the work faithfully and according to orders."
-
-"Yes, sir," Charlie mumbled.
-
-"Selby is your personal physician, you realize," I drove on. "He takes
-care of the rest of us only if he has time left over from you. Why,
-when I was having my two weeks in the summer as an Ensign, I had to
-lie for half an hour with a crushed foot while the doctor sprayed our
-Prone's throat to guard against infection. Let me tell you, I was in
-quite a bit of pain."
-
-Charlie's pale eyes narrowed as if he had just made a sudden discovery,
-perhaps about the relationship between us. "You don't make as much
-money as I do, do you, sir? You don't have a valet? And your bed folds
-into the bulkhead?"
-
-I thought he was at last beginning to get it. "Yes," I said.
-
-He stood sharply to attention. "Request transfer to position of
-Assistant Pile Driver, j.g., sir."
-
-I barely halted a groan. He thought I resented him and was deliberately
-holding him down into the miserable overpaid, overfed job that was
-beneath him and the talents that so fitted him for the job.
-
-"Request granted."
-
-He would learn.
-
-He had better.
-
-I started to sweat in a gush. He had _really_ better.
-
- * * * * *
-
-I took him into the rear of the ship and showed him where he would
-sleep. In the oily gloom, he regarded the pad from an old acceleration
-couch fitted to two scratched and nicked aluminum pipes jury-rigged
-between two squat tanks containing water for the atomic pile used close
-to planets where the gravitational field interfered with the star-drive.
-
-"Over here's what you have to keep an eye on, Baxter," I told him.
-
-We walked past the dimly lighted rows of towering fuel lines and
-cables. Charlie tripped over the hump of a deck-level cable housing.
-His knee banged against the deck plates and he stood with an effort.
-
-"Careful," I said. "Now that you have limited medical attention, don't
-break a leg."
-
-Baxter rubbed his leg thoughtfully. "Funny. My grandfather used to be
-in show business. He told me that telling somebody to break a leg was
-wishing them good luck."
-
-I cleared my throat. "It would seem in dubious taste, addressed to an
-accident prone. However, you have my best wishes. You realize that your
-salary as Prone of 11,000 credits a month and your pay of 23 credits a
-month as an APD, j.g., are suspended until the Admiralty rules on your
-case."
-
-"Yes, sir. I realize that, sir."
-
-I stopped him in front of the soiled red box that was the tension
-gauge. "If the electrical control of the drive somehow becomes broken,
-the interrupted circuit will show on the gauge. It is then the duty
-of the APD, j.g., to go through the small airlock and maintain manual
-control of the pile while at least one of the control circuits is
-repaired. The job rarely has to be done, but when it is, it is very
-often fatal."
-
-Baxter only nodded. "I understand."
-
-I doubted that he did.
-
-After leaving Baxter on his first watch, I went to the messhall and
-waited for him to show up. The men knew what to do when he came.
-
-It was rather pleasant to sit there savoring the odors. At times, they
-still seem more like those of a chemical laboratory than a kitchen,
-but I have become so used to associating burning starch products,
-centrifuged tannic acid, and melting dextrose with food that I am
-almost immune to the aroma of Prone food like juicy, sizzling steak.
-Almost.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Charlie Baxter finally came through the hatch. He paused and seemed to
-shake off what he must have thought was some olfactory hallucination
-and started to sit down at the table with the rest of the men. He
-looked rather pleased. He had probably decided being Accident Prone had
-deprived him of much of the company he had every right to enjoy with
-his shipmates.
-
-"Get out of here!" Frank Peirmonte yelled, jumping up from the other
-end of the oblong table.
-
-"Why?" Baxter asked in astonishment.
-
-"Baxter," I put in, "I'm afraid the men think they may catch radiation
-fever from a pile driver like you."
-
-"Catch radiation fever?" he repeated. "Men have been exposed to
-atomics for hundreds of years. Surely you men must know any poisoning
-in one individual can't be transmitted to another like germs. I
-couldn't absorb enough radiation to be dangerous to you in simple
-proximity and still be alive. Don't you see that?"
-
-At once, all of my crew at the table covered their faces with their
-arms.
-
-"Don't look at us!" Bronoski screamed, his voice knifing toward the
-higher octaves.
-
-Baxter gaped in a daze from one of us to the other. "What do you mean?
-Why shouldn't I look at you?"
-
-"You've got The Eye! _All_ pile drivers get it."
-
-"But I have to eat," he objected. "I'm hungry. Really I am."
-
-I swung around and exchanged a few words with Tan Eck, the cook, at the
-rear hatch. I took a steaming tray and went across the compartment,
-averting my face.
-
-"You will have to forgive these superstitious spacemen," I apologized
-to Baxter. "You go right ahead and eat just outside the door. I won't
-mind a bit."
-
-"Thanks," Baxter said, accepting the plate. He looked down at the white
-paste, black gum and cup of yellowish liquid fitted in the proper holes
-and slots, then up at me. "What is this stuff?"
-
-"You don't have to look right at me!" I snapped. "It is standard
-spaceman's fare--re-reconstituted carbohydrates, protein and hot ground
-roasted soya. This is stuff we had left over on our plates from lunch,
-all set to go into the converter, but Tan Eck reprocessed it for you.
-It's what regulations specify for an APD, j.g."
-
-Baxter opened his mouth and closed it hard. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
-
-He turned smartly to leave and I halted him with a palm up. "Baxter."
-
-He turned. "Yes, sir?"
-
-"We are moving to the other side of the continent to continue with
-the re-survey. I want to make it clear to you that you are absolutely
-forbidden to leave the ship. We can't spare the guards for your
-liabilities, now that you have thrown away your value."
-
-"Yes, sir."
-
-Even at the time, I was gratified by the sudden thoughtful narrowing of
-his eyes.
-
- * * * * *
-
-I wasn't surprised the next day when Bronoski reported that Charlie
-Baxter had taken a bacpac--food, soap, blankets and so forth--and
-left the _Hilliard_. He was determined to prove that he wasn't merely
-Accident Prone and could get things done on his own.
-
-"Charterson and Von Elderman are following him?" I asked.
-
-Bronoski nodded his bullet-shaped head. "Like a hawk."
-
-"The Bird can follow him like a hawk. I want them to follow him like
-men."
-
-"They are as good at the job as I am," Bronoski reassured me.
-
-"I think," I said quickly, "that I had better go down to Communications
-and follow Baxter myself."
-
-The Bird was an electronic device. It looked like a local life-form
-that was actually a flying mammal. Inside the thing was was a sensitive
-video camera and a self-propulsion unit.
-
-The Bird homed in on Baxter's electroencephalograph waves.
-
-The view on the screen in front of the lounging chairs was clear but
-monotonous.
-
-Charlie made his way across the landscape, woods on this side of the
-continent, not jungle, without incident. He did fall down like a wet
-laundry bag every so often, but that, as you'd figure, amounted to
-traveling across country without incident. He'd have done the same on a
-smooth pavement.
-
-I had a cigarette in my mouth, futilely pounding my pockets for the
-lighter I didn't have, when Charlie met the alien.
-
-There was only one native this time, the same thin form, but more
-lightly clothed here. I shifted uneasily and hoped the two guards were
-close. There was only one this time, but it was useless to suppose
-Charlie could handle him himself.
-
-"Greetings," Charlie said. "I am Big Brother of a new Family."
-
-There was no sound equipment in the Bird, but the translator circuits
-in the control board read Baxter's lips and produced their sound
-patterns for us. They would also translate the native's language, but
-just then he wasn't saying anything.
-
-He walked around the Prone leisurely, as if considering buying him.
-
-Charlie shifted the straps of his pack. He hadn't been convinced of his
-own abilities enough to take along a gun or any other kind of weapon.
-He would be almost sure to kill himself with it.
-
-Or would he?
-
-I suddenly wondered if Charlie doubted himself enough to commit
-outright suicide. He had had plenty of close calls, yet he had always
-survived. If his goal was self-destruction, he surely would have
-reached it after this many opportunities.
-
-I watched the screen intently.
-
-Charlie thought he was alone there with a possibly hostile native.
-All he had to do was make one small slip and he would be dead. Yet,
-so far, he had followed the pattern we had used at the other colony
-exactly.
-
-Instantly I realized that it _must_ be a mistake to follow the other
-pattern with this second group of aliens, if Charlie Baxter did it.
-
- * * * * *
-
-At first I couldn't understand why the pattern should be wrong for this
-group if it was right for the first. They were close enough so that
-there must have been intercourse between them, and if customs were
-violently different, there would probably be a state of warfare between
-them and none was apparent.
-
-I finally realized why warfare would be almost impossible and why the
-customs of the separated colonies might be extremely at odds.
-
-The colonies were three months apart by fastest transportation, which
-was longer than a generation of the natives. No one could live long
-enough to reach a second colony, so each culture developed in isolation
-along entirely random lines.
-
-I felt like yelling at Charlie. There was literally no way of telling
-how he might be offending and antagonizing this Moranite by treating
-him as we had learned to treat the others.
-
-The alien finally spoke. "You are part of a--Family?"
-
-Charlie nodded his head.
-
-So did the native--he bobbed Charlie's head with a rock.
-
-"Close in on 'em fast but gentle," I radioed the guards.
-
-The native dragged Baxter's limp body through a nearby thicket and into
-a small clearing. Abruptly I saw they were up against the base of the
-nearest mountain. A bubbling, dancing stream twisted through brown and
-green rock and disappeared into a ridge of gray slate. It reappeared
-below the hill, steaming, obviously passing through an underground hot
-springs.
-
-The alien had Charlie where he wanted him before we could move. He
-lashed him securely with stringy vine and, with him thrown over his
-shoulder, ran up the slate, which rumbled down ominously behind them.
-He tossed Charlie over a wide hole at the top of the ridge. Slate
-rained down into the hole. If the Prone hadn't snapped awake and made
-his body rigid, he would have tumbled into the hole at that moment.
-
-"So you wake, Familyman," the native said. "How could you admit to
-being anything so immoral when you were alone? You surely did not think
-you could eat me without help from the others of your evil brothers!"
-
-Charlie licked his lips and moved his eyes; that was about all he
-dared move. "You--don't approve of families?"
-
-The native drew himself up to his full elongated height in the screen.
-"Like all good People, I was properly abandoned at birth and I proudly
-say I have never associated with others except for Mating and Trading."
-
-I noticed abstractly that he finished moving his lips long before the
-translation was finished. He was using a very primitive language. I
-screwed the button nervously in my ear for Charterson and Von Elderman
-to report.
-
- * * * * *
-
-The alien looked at the rigid form of Baxter over the pit. "I suppose
-I should have some pity for you. You began your filthy practice too
-young to know better. But imagine! Combining with others of your kind
-to survive--at the expense of decent individuals like myself. Robbing
-us, eating us. The Finger of Fire will come soon and will destroy you.
-I have heard Familymen often try to aid one another. Perhaps others of
-your kind will die with you!"
-
-He was gone long before the translation was finished, leaving Charlie
-Baxter arched across a pit that widened as the alien's descent
-disturbed more of the soft shale.
-
-The native was out of sight. I realized his tribe would soon be
-extinct. The racial mind for the whole species seemed obsessed with
-survival by natural selection, but his tribe had gone off on the
-tangent of individualism, which was fine to some extent, but the
-Service had learned that a race couldn't survive without _some_ degree
-of cooperation and this one's level of mating and trading did not seem
-sufficient.
-
-"Captain Jackson!" Von Elderman's voice said in my ear. "We can't reach
-him! If we start up that hill, the soft shale is bound to shift and
-drop him right into that hole."
-
-"I'll send Bronoski with a personal flyer immediately to make an air
-pickup," I said numbly.
-
-It wasn't the guards' fault. Charlie hadn't seemed to be in any
-immediate danger and we don't kill intelligent life-forms without
-damned good reason--the kind of reason that stands up in court. But
-he was now stretched over what I was fairly certain was an active
-geyser--"The Finger of Fire," the native had called it, and had assured
-Charlie that it would kill him.
-
-I dispatched Bronoski, but that was all I could do. I did not know when
-the geyser would spout. Maybe Bronoski would make it. Maybe he wouldn't.
-
-I magnified the view from the useless little Bird and studied
-Charlie's face in the screen. If he lay there doing nothing, waiting
-for a miracle to happen, he was--I shuddered--cooked. He had to make an
-active decision.
-
-If he didn't, he was almost sure to die.
-
-But maybe that was what he wanted. Maybe accident prones really want to
-destroy themselves.
-
-It was his bid.
-
-Slate dropped off the rim of the hole into the pit and Charlie
-stiffened. More passive acceptance. But maybe I wasn't being fair.
-There wasn't much Charlie could do. There wasn't much else for him to
-do except give up.
-
-But I noticed his eyes moving. They went up to the bubbling ribbon of
-water and down to the steaming stream below the ridge where it emerged.
-Charlie smiled. He had made a decision.
-
-He folded his knees and dropped into the hole.
-
-He had naturally made the wrong decision. Bronoski in the flying
-platform swung into position above the pit.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Charlie must have figured that he would be washed on through the hot
-springs and out into the shallow water below. He would be, but he would
-be boiled alive.
-
-Only there are mistakes and mistakes, and sometimes mistakes aren't
-mistakes at all.
-
-The geyser exploded, higher, faster and harder than it ever had before.
-And Charlie, half-drowned and half-or-more scalded, popped up and
-landed in the brush twenty feet away.
-
-Bronoski fought for control of his flyer and finally made a fast pickup.
-
-Doc Selby did a pretty good job with the First Aid Kit. Charlie's neck
-and collarbone were broken and over fifty per cent of his skin had to
-be replaced. Still, it was lucky Charlie had that concentrated soap in
-his pack. Ever been to Earth National Park and seen Old Faithful? You
-know what happened--they use soap to get the geyser spouting when it's
-off schedule.
-
-We haven't told Charlie that it was anything but an accident that
-Bronoski was so handy. And we let him tell us about the changed customs
-of the natives. He resumed his regular position of Accident Prone when
-he saw realistically that he would inevitably be doing the same work
-and that he might as well get paid for it.
-
-I often wonder if it was a genuine mistake the way he dropped into the
-geyser. Certainly he would have died if it hadn't been for the soap
-concentrates. If he took that into consideration, though, it wasn't a
-mistake at all, but a wise choice.
-
-A few days ago, when he was leaving my office--that is, the bridge--I
-saw Charlie slip and start to fall. He didn't give up and go limp. He
-gave his old dance of struggling to regain his balance. _Only this time
-he made it!_
-
-I began sweating again.
-
-After all the time, effort and money the Service puts into acquiring
-and training a Prone, I wonder if it is possible for one to beat his
-problem and cease to be an Accident Prone or even an accident prone.
-
-This afternoon, I passed Charlie Baxter's swimming pool and saw him
-poised on his diving board. I waved and rather jauntily extended his
-grandfather's wish for good luck: "Break a leg."
-
-Charlie grinned back at me. "Yes, sir."
-
-But he didn't.
-
-It would be very reassuring if he would.
-
-
-
-
-
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