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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..df239bd --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #51296 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51296) diff --git a/old/51296-h.zip b/old/51296-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index e87dafc..0000000 --- a/old/51296-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51296-h/51296-h.htm b/old/51296-h/51296-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 3297f92..0000000 --- a/old/51296-h/51296-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1320 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Sense of Wonder, by Milton Lesser. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1, .ph2, .ph3, .ph4 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: xx-large; margin: .67em auto; } -.ph2 { font-size: x-large; margin: .75em auto; } -.ph3 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } -.ph4 { font-size: medium; margin: 1.12em auto; } - -.blockquot { - margin-left: 5%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sense of Wonder, by Milton Lesser - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Sense of Wonder - -Author: Milton Lesser - -Release Date: February 24, 2016 [EBook #51296] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SENSE OF WONDER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="357" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> -<h1>The Sense of Wonder</h1> - -<p>By MILTON LESSER</p> - -<p>Illustrated by HARRY ROSENBAUM</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Galaxy Science Fiction September 1951.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph3">When nobody aboard ship remembers where it's<br /> -going, how can they tell when it has arrived?</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Every day for a week now, Rikud had come to the viewport to watch -the great changeless sweep of space. He could not quite explain the -feelings within him; they were so alien, so unnatural. But ever since -the engines somewhere in the rear of the world had changed their tone, -from the steady whining Rikud had heard all twenty-five years of his -life, to the sullen roar that came to his ears now, the feelings had -grown.</p> - -<p>If anyone else had noticed the change, he failed to mention it. This -disturbed Rikud, although he could not tell why. And, because he had -realized this odd difference in himself, he kept it locked up inside -him.</p> - -<p>Today, space looked somehow different. The stars—it was a meaningless -concept to Rikud, but that was what everyone called the bright -pinpoints of light on the black backdrop in the viewport—were not -apparent in the speckled profusion Rikud had always known. Instead, -there was more of the blackness, and one very bright star set apart -by itself in the middle of the viewport.</p> - -<p>If he had understood the term, Rikud would have told himself this was -odd. His head ached with the half-born thought. It was—it was—what -was it?</p> - -<p>Someone was clomping up the companionway behind Rikud. He turned and -greeted gray-haired old Chuls.</p> - -<p>"In five more years," the older man chided, "you'll be ready to sire -children. And all you can do in the meantime is gaze out at the stars."</p> - -<p>Rikud knew he should be exercising now, or bathing in the rays of the -health-lamps. It had never occurred to him that he didn't feel like it; -he just didn't, without comprehending.</p> - -<p>Chuls' reminder fostered uneasiness. Often Rikud had dreamed of the -time he would be thirty and a father. Whom would the Calculator select -as his mate? The first time this idea had occurred to him, Rikud -ignored it. But it came again, and each time it left him with a feeling -he could not explain. Why should he think thoughts that no other man -had? Why should he think he was thinking such thoughts, when it always -embroiled him in a hopeless, infinite confusion that left him with a -headache?</p> - -<p>Chuls said, "It is time for my bath in the health-rays. I saw you here -and knew it was your time, too...."</p> - -<p>His voice trailed off. Rikud knew that something which he could not -explain had entered the elder man's head for a moment, but it had -departed almost before Chuls knew of its existence.</p> - -<p>"I'll go with you," Rikud told him.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>A hardly perceptible purple glow pervaded the air in the room of the -health-rays. Perhaps two score men lay about, naked, under the ray -tubes. Chuls stripped himself and selected the space under a vacant -tube. Rikud, for his part, wanted to get back to the viewport and watch -the one new bright star. He had the distinct notion it was growing -larger every moment. He turned to go, but the door clicked shut and a -metallic voice said. "Fifteen minutes under the tubes, please."</p> - -<p>Rikud muttered to himself and undressed. The world had begun to annoy -him. Now why shouldn't a man be permitted to do what he wanted, when -he wanted to do it? <i>There</i> was a strange thought, and Rikud's brain -whirled once more down the tortuous course of half-formed questions and -unsatisfactory answers.</p> - -<p>He had even wondered what it was like to get hurt. No one ever got -hurt. Once, here in this same ray room, he had had the impulse to hurl -himself head-first against the wall, just to see what would happen. -But something soft had cushioned the impact—something which had come -into being just for the moment and then abruptly passed into non-being -again, something which was as impalpable as air.</p> - -<p>Rikud had been stopped in this action, although there was no real -authority to stop him. This puzzled him, because somehow he felt that -there should have been authority. A long time ago the reading machine -in the library had told him of the elders—a meaningless term—who had -governed the world. They told you to do something and you did it, but -that was silly, because now no one told you to do anything. You only -listened to the buzzer.</p> - -<p>And Rikud could remember the rest of what the reading machine had said. -There had been a revolt—again a term without any real meaning, a term -that could have no reality outside of the reading machine—and the -elders were overthrown. Here Rikud had been lost utterly. The people -had decided that they did not know where they were going, or why, and -that it was unfair that the elders alone had this authority. They were -born and they lived and they died as the elders directed, like little -cogs in a great machine. Much of this Rikud could not understand, but -he knew enough to realize that the reading machine had sided with the -people against the elders, and it said the people had won.</p> - -<p>Now in the health room, Rikud felt a warmth in the rays. Grudgingly, he -had to admit to himself that it was not unpleasant. He could see the -look of easy contentment on Chuls' face as the rays fanned down upon -him, bathing his old body in a forgotten magic which, many generations -before Rikud's time, had negated the necessity for a knowledge of -medicine. But when, in another ten years, Chuls would perish of old -age, the rays would no longer suffice. Nothing would, for Chuls. Rikud -often thought of his own death, still seventy-five years in the future, -not without a sense of alarm. Yet old Chuls seemed heedless, with only -a decade to go.</p> - -<p>Under the tube at Rikud's left lay Crifer. The man was short and heavy -through the shoulders and chest, and he had a lame foot. Every time -Rikud looked at that foot, it was with a sense of satisfaction. True, -this was the only case of its kind, the exception to the rule, but it -proved the world was not perfect. Rikud was guiltily glad when he saw -Crifer limp.</p> - -<p>But, if anyone else saw it, he never said a word. Not even Crifer.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Now Crifer said, "I've been reading again, Rikud."</p> - -<p>"Yes?" Almost no one read any more, and the library was heavy with the -smell of dust. Reading represented initiative on the part of Crifer; it -meant that, in the two unoccupied hours before sleep, he went to the -library and listened to the reading machine. Everyone else simply sat -about and talked. That was the custom. Everyone did it.</p> - -<p>But if he wasn't reading himself, Rikud usually went to sleep. All the -people ever talked about was what they had done during the day, and it -was always the same.</p> - -<p>"Yes," said Crifer. "I found a book about the stars. They're also -called astronomy, I think."</p> - -<p>This was a new thought to Rikud, and he propped his head up on one -elbow. "What did you find out?"</p> - -<p>"That's about all. They're just called astronomy, I think."</p> - -<p>"Well, where's the book?" Rikud would read it tomorrow.</p> - -<p>"I left it in the library. You can find several of them under -'astronomy,' with a cross-reference under 'stars.' They're synonymous -terms."</p> - -<p>"You know," Rikud said, sitting up now, "the stars in the viewport are -changing."</p> - -<p>"Changing?" Crifer questioned the fuzzy concept as much as he -questioned what it might mean in this particular case.</p> - -<p>"Yes, there are less of them, and one is bigger and brighter than the -others."</p> - -<p>"Astronomy says some stars are variable," Crifer offered, but Rikud -knew his lame-footed companion understood the word no better than he -did.</p> - -<p>Over on Rikud's right, Chuls began to dress. "Variability," he told -them, "is a contradictory term. Nothing is variable. It can't be."</p> - -<p>"I'm only saying what I read in the book," Crifer protested mildly.</p> - -<p>"Well, it's wrong. Variability and change are two words without -meaning."</p> - -<p>"People grow old," Rikud suggested.</p> - -<p>A buzzer signified that his fifteen minutes under the rays were up, and -Chuls said, "It's almost time for me to eat."</p> - -<p>Rikud frowned. Chuls hadn't even seen the connection between the two -concepts, yet it was so clear. Or was it? He had had it a moment ago, -but now it faded, and change and old were just two words.</p> - -<p>His own buzzer sounded a moment later, and it was with a strange -feeling of elation that he dressed and made his way back to the -viewport. When he passed the door which led to the women's half of the -world, however, he paused. He wanted to open that door and see a woman. -He had been told about them and he had seen pictures, and he dimly -remembered his childhood among women. But his feelings had changed; -this was different. Again there were inexplicable feelings—strange -channelings of Rikud's energy in new and confusing directions.</p> - -<p>He shrugged and reserved the thought for later. He wanted to see the -stars again.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The view had changed, and the strangeness of it made Rikud's pulses -leap with excitement. All the stars were paler now than before, and -where Rikud had seen the one bright central star, he now saw a globe of -light, white with a tinge of blue in it, and so bright that it hurt his -eyes to look.</p> - -<p>Yes, hurt! Rikud looked and looked until his eyes teared and he had to -turn away. Here was an unknown factor which the perfect world failed -to control. But how could a star change into a blinking blue-white -globe—if, indeed, that was the star Rikud had seen earlier? There -was that word change again. Didn't it have something to do with age? -Rikud couldn't remember, and he suddenly wished he could read Crifer's -book on astronomy, which meant the same as stars. Except that it was -variable, which was like change, being tied up somehow with age.</p> - -<p>Presently Rikud became aware that his eyes were not tearing any longer, -and he turned to look at the viewport. What he saw now was so new that -he couldn't at first accept it. Instead, he blinked and rubbed his -eyes, sure that the ball of blue-white fire somehow had damaged them. -But the new view persisted.</p> - -<p>Of stars there were few, and of the blackness, almost nothing. Gone, -too, was the burning globe. Something loomed there in the port, so huge -that it spread out over almost the entire surface. Something big and -round, all grays and greens and browns, and something for which Rikud -had no name.</p> - -<p>A few moments more, and Rikud no longer could see the sphere. A section -of it had expanded outward and assumed the rectangular shape of the -viewport, and its size as well. It seemed neatly sheered down the -middle, so that on one side Rikud saw an expanse of brown and green, -and on the other, blue.</p> - -<p>Startled, Rikud leaped back. The sullen roar in the rear of the world -had ceased abruptly. Instead an ominous silence, broken at regular -intervals by a sharp booming.</p> - -<p>Change—</p> - -<p>"Won't you eat, Rikud?" Chuls called from somewhere down below.</p> - -<p>"Damn the man," Rikud thought. Then aloud: "Yes, I'll eat. Later."</p> - -<p>"It's time...." Chuls' voice trailed off again, impotently.</p> - -<p>But Rikud forgot the old man completely. A new idea occurred to him, -and for a while he struggled with it. What he saw—what he had always -seen, except that now there was the added factor of change—perhaps did -not exist <i>in</i> the viewport.</p> - -<p>Maybe it existed <i>through</i> the viewport.</p> - -<p>That was maddening. Rikud turned again to the port, where he could see -nothing but an obscuring cloud of white vapor, murky, swirling, more -confusing than ever.</p> - -<p>"Chuls," he called, remembering, "come here."</p> - -<p>"I am here," said a voice at his elbow.</p> - -<p>Rikud whirled on the little figure and pointed to the swirling cloud of -vapor. "What do you see?"</p> - -<p>Chuls looked. "The viewport, of course."</p> - -<p>"What else?"</p> - -<p>"Else? Nothing."</p> - -<p>Anger welled up inside Rikud. "All right," he said, "listen. What do -you hear?"</p> - -<p>"Broom, brroom, brrroom!" Chuls imitated the intermittent blasting of -the engines. "I'm hungry, Rikud."</p> - -<p>The old man turned and strode off down the corridor toward the dining -room, and Rikud was glad to be alone once more.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Now the vapor had departed, except for a few tenuous whisps. For a -moment Rikud thought he could see the gardens rearward in the world. -But that was silly. What were the gardens doing in the viewport? And -besides, Rikud had the distinct feeling that here was something far -vaster than the gardens, although all of it existed in the viewport -which was no wider than the length of his body. The gardens, moreover, -did not jump and dance before his eyes the way the viewport gardens -did. Nor did they spin. Nor did the trees grow larger with every jolt.</p> - -<p>Rikud sat down hard. He blinked.</p> - -<p>The world had come to rest on the garden of the viewport.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>For a whole week that view did not change, and Rikud had come to accept -it as fact. There—through the viewport and in it—was a garden. A -garden larger than the entire world, a garden of plants which Rikud had -never seen before, although he had always liked to stroll through the -world's garden and he had come to know every plant well. Nevertheless, -it was a garden.</p> - -<p>He told Chuls, but Chuls had responded, "It is the viewport."</p> - -<p>Crifer, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. "It looks like the garden," -he admitted to Rikud. "But why should the garden be in the viewport?"</p> - -<p>Somehow, Rikud knew this question for a healthy sign. But he could -not tell them of his most amazing thought of all. The change in the -viewport could mean only one thing. The world had been walking—the -word seemed all wrong to Rikud, but he could think of no other, unless -it were running. The world had been walking somewhere. That somewhere -was the garden and the world had arrived.</p> - -<p>"It is an old picture of the garden," Chuls suggested, "and the plants -are different."</p> - -<p>"Then they've changed?"</p> - -<p>"No, merely different."</p> - -<p>"Well, what about the viewport? <i>It</i> changed. Where are the stars? -Where are they, Chuls, if it did not change?"</p> - -<p>"The stars come out at night."</p> - -<p>"So there is a change from day to night!"</p> - -<p>"I didn't say that. The stars simply shine at night. Why should they -shine during the day when the world wants them to shine only at night?"</p> - -<p>"Once they shone all the time."</p> - -<p>"Naturally," said Crifer, becoming interested. "They are variable."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Rikud regretted that he never had had the chance to read that book on -astronomy. He hadn't been reading too much lately. The voice of the -reading machine had begun to bore him. He said, "Well, variable or not, -our whole perspective has changed."</p> - -<p>And when Chuls looked away in disinterest, Rikud became angry. If only -the man would realize! If only anyone would realize! It all seemed so -obvious. If he, Rikud, walked from one part of the world to another, -it was with a purpose—to eat, or to sleep, or perhaps to bathe in the -health-rays. Now if the world had walked from—somewhere, through the -vast star-speckled darkness and to the great garden outside, this also -was purposeful. The world had arrived at the garden for a reason. But -if everyone lived as if the world still stood in blackness, how could -they find the nature of that purpose?</p> - -<p>"I will eat," Chuls said, breaking Rikud's revery.</p> - -<p>Damn the man, all he did was eat!</p> - -<p>Yet he did have initiative after a sort. He knew when to eat. Because -he was hungry.</p> - -<p>And Rikud, too, was hungry.</p> - -<p>Differently.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He had long wondered about the door in the back of the library, and -now, as Crifer sat cross-legged on one of the dusty tables, reading -machine and book on astronomy or stars in his lap, Rikud approached the -door.</p> - -<p>"What's in here?" he demanded.</p> - -<p>"It's a door, I think," said Crifer.</p> - -<p>"I know, but what's beyond it?"</p> - -<p>"Beyond it? Oh, you mean <i>through</i> the door."</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"Well," Crifer scratched his head, "I don't think anyone ever opened -it. It's only a door."</p> - -<p>"I will," said Rikud.</p> - -<p>"You will what?"</p> - -<p>"Open it. Open the door and look inside."</p> - -<p>A long pause. Then, "Can you do it?"</p> - -<p>"I think so."</p> - -<p>"You can't, probably. How can anyone go where no one has been before? -There's nothing. It just isn't. It's only a door, Rikud."</p> - -<p>"No—" Rikud began, but the words faded off into a sharp intake of -breath. Rikud had turned the knob and pushed. The door opened silently, -and Crifer said, "Doors are variable, too, I think."</p> - -<p>Rikud saw a small room, perhaps half a dozen paces across, at the other -end of which was another door, just like the first. Halfway across, -Rikud heard a voice not unlike that of the reading machine.</p> - -<p>He missed the beginning, but then:</p> - -<div class="blockquot"> -<p><i>—therefore, permit no unauthorized persons to go through this -door. The machinery in the next room is your protection against the -rigors of space. A thousand years from now, journey's end, you may -have discarded it for something better—who knows? But if you have -not, then here is your protection. As nearly as possible, this ship -is a perfect, self-sustaining world. It is more than that: it is -human-sustaining as well. Try to hurt yourself and the ship will not -permit it—within limits, of course. But you can damage the ship, and -to avoid any possibility of that, no unauthorized persons are to be -permitted through this door—</i></p></div> - -<p>Rikud gave the voice up as hopeless. There were too many confusing -words. What in the world was an unauthorized person? More interesting -than that, however, was the second door. Would it lead to another -voice? Rikud hoped that it wouldn't.</p> - -<p>When he opened the door a strange new noise filled his ears, a gentle -humming, punctuated by a <i>throb-throb-throb</i> which sounded not unlike -the booming of the engines last week, except that this new sound didn't -blast nearly so loudly against his eardrums. And what met Rikud's -eyes—he blinked and looked again, but it was still there—cogs and -gears and wheels and nameless things all strange and beautiful because -they shone with a luster unfamiliar to him.</p> - -<p>"Odd," Rikud said aloud. Then he thought, "Now there's a good word, but -no one quite seems to know its meaning."</p> - -<p>Odder still was the third door. Rikud suddenly thought there might -exist an endless succession of them, especially when the third one -opened on a bare tunnel which led to yet another door.</p> - -<p>Only this one was different. In it Rikud saw the viewport. But how? The -viewport stood on the other end of the world. It did seem smaller, and, -although it looked out on the garden, Rikud sensed that the topography -was different. Then the garden extended even farther than he had -thought. It was endless, extending all the way to a ridge of mounds way -off in the distance.</p> - -<p>And this door one could walk through, into the garden. Rikud put his -hand on the door, all the while watching the garden through the new -viewport. He began to turn the handle.</p> - -<p>Then he trembled.</p> - -<p>What would he do out in the garden?</p> - -<p>He couldn't go alone. He'd die of the strangeness. It was a silly -thought; no one ever died of anything until he was a hundred. Rikud -couldn't fathom the rapid thumping of his heart. And Rikud's mouth felt -dry; he wanted to swallow, but couldn't.</p> - -<p>Slowly, he took his hand off the door lever. He made his way back -through the tunnel and then through the room of machinery and finally -through the little room with the confusing voice to Crifer.</p> - -<p>By the time he reached the lame-footed man, Rikud was running. He did -not dare once to look back. He stood shaking at Crifer's side, and -sweat covered him in a clammy film. He never wanted to look at the -garden again. Not when he knew there was a door through which he could -walk and then might find himself in the garden.</p> - -<p>It was so big.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Three or four days passed before Rikud calmed himself enough to -talk about his experience. When he did, only Crifer seemed at all -interested, yet the lame-footed man's mind was inadequate to cope with -the situation. He suggested that the viewport might also be variable -and Rikud found himself wishing that his friend had never read that -book on astronomy.</p> - -<p>Chuls did not believe Rikud at all. "There are not that many doors in -the world," he said. "The library has a door and there is a door to the -women's quarters; in five years, the Calculator will send you through -that. But there are no others."</p> - -<p>Chuls smiled an indulgent smile and Rikud came nearer to him. "Now, by -the world, there are two other doors!"</p> - -<p>Rikud began to shout, and everyone looked at him queerly.</p> - -<p>"What are you doing that for?" demanded Wilm, who was shorter even than -Crifer, but had no lame foot.</p> - -<p>"Doing what?"</p> - -<p>"Speaking so loudly when Chuls, who is close, obviously has no trouble -hearing you."</p> - -<p>"Maybe yelling will make him understand."</p> - -<p>Crifer hobbled about on his good foot, doing a meaningless little jig. -"Why don't we go see?" he suggested. Then, confused, he frowned.</p> - -<p>"Well, I won't go," Chuls replied. "There's no reason to go. If Rikud -has been imagining things, why should I?"</p> - -<p>"I imagined nothing. I'll show you—"</p> - -<p>"You'll show me nothing because I won't go."</p> - -<p>Rikud grabbed Chuls' blouse with his big fist. Then, startled by what -he did, his hands began to tremble. But he held on, and he tugged at -the blouse.</p> - -<p>"Stop that," said the older man, mildly.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Crifer hopped up and down. "Look what Rikud's doing! I don't know what -he's doing, but look. He's holding Chuls' blouse."</p> - -<p>"Stop that," repeated Chuls, his face reddening.</p> - -<p>"Only if you'll go with me." Rikud was panting.</p> - -<p>Chuls tugged at his wrist. By this time a crowd had gathered. Some of -them watched Crifer jump up and down, but most of them watched Rikud -holding Chuls' blouse.</p> - -<p>"I think I can do that," declared Wilm, clutching a fistful of Crifer's -shirt.</p> - -<p>Presently, the members of the crowd had pretty well paired off, each -partner grabbing for his companion's blouse. They giggled and laughed -and some began to hop up and down as Crifer had done.</p> - -<p>A buzzer sounded and automatically Rikud found himself releasing Chuls.</p> - -<p>Chuls said, forgetting the incident completely, "Time to retire."</p> - -<p>In a moment, the room was cleared. Rikud stood alone. He cleared his -throat and listened to the sound, all by itself in the stillness. What -would have happened if they hadn't retired? But they always did things -punctually like that, whenever the buzzer sounded. They ate with the -buzzer, bathed in the health-rays with it, slept with it.</p> - -<p>What would they do if the buzzer stopped buzzing?</p> - -<p>This frightened Rikud, although he didn't know why. He'd like it, -though. Maybe then he could take them outside with him to the big -garden of the two viewports. And then he wouldn't be afraid because he -could huddle close to them and he wouldn't be alone.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Rikud heard the throbbing again as he stood in the room of the -machinery. For a long time he watched the wheels and cogs and gears -spinning and humming. He watched for he knew not how long. And then he -began to wonder. If he destroyed the wheels and the cogs and the gears, -would the buzzer stop? It probably would, because, as Rikud saw it, he -was clearly an "unauthorized person." He had heard the voice again -upon entering the room.</p> - -<p>He found a metal rod, bright and shiny, three feet long and half as -wide as his arm. He tugged at it and it came loose from the wires that -held it in place. He hefted it carefully for a moment, and then he -swung the bar into the mass of metal. Each time he heard a grinding, -crashing sound. He looked as the gears and cogs and wheels crumbled -under his blows, shattered by the strength of his arm.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus1.jpg" width="350" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Almost casually he strode about the room, but his blows were not -casual. Soon his easy strides had given way to frenzied running. Rikud -smashed everything in sight.</p> - -<p>When the lights winked out, he stopped. Anyway, by that time the room -was a shambles of twisted, broken metal. He laughed, softly at first, -but presently he was roaring, and the sound doubled and redoubled in -his ears because now the throbbing had stopped.</p> - -<p>He opened the door and ran through the little corridor to the smaller -viewport. Outside he could see the stars, and, dimly, the terrain -beneath them. But everything was so dark that only the stars shone -clearly. All else was bathed in a shadow of unreality.</p> - -<p>Rikud never wanted to do anything more than he wanted to open that -door. But his hands trembled too much when he touched it, and once, -when he pressed his face close against the viewport, there in the -darkness, something bright flashed briefly through the sky and was gone.</p> - -<p>Whimpering, he fled.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>All around Rikud were darkness and hunger and thirst. The buzzer did -not sound because Rikud had silenced it forever. And no one went to -eat or drink. Rikud himself had fumbled through the blackness and the -whimpering to the dining room, his tongue dry and swollen, but the -smooth belt that flowed with water and with savory dishes did not run -any more. The machinery, Rikud realized, also was responsible for food.</p> - -<p>Chuls said, over and over, "I'm hungry."</p> - -<p>"We will eat and we will drink when the buzzer tells us," Wilm replied -confidently.</p> - -<p>"It won't any more," Rikud said.</p> - -<p>"What won't?"</p> - -<p>"The buzzer will never sound again. I broke it."</p> - -<p>Crifer growled. "I know. You shouldn't have done it. That was a bad -thing you did, Rikud."</p> - -<p>"It was not bad. The world has moved through the blackness and the -stars and now we should go outside to live in the big garden there -beyond the viewport."</p> - -<p>"That's ridiculous," Chuls said.</p> - -<p>Even Crifer now was angry at Rikud. "He broke the buzzer and no one can -eat. I hate Rikud, I think."</p> - -<p>There was a lot of noise in the darkness, and someone else said, "I -hate Rikud." Then everyone was saying it.</p> - -<p>Rikud was sad. Soon he would die, because no one would go outside with -him and he could not go outside alone. In five more years he would have -had a woman, too. He wondered if it was dark and hungry in the women's -quarters. Did women eat?</p> - -<p>Perhaps they ate plants. Once, in the garden, Rikud had broken off a -frond and tasted it. It had been bitter, but not unpleasant. Maybe the -plants in the viewport would even be better.</p> - -<p>"We will not be hungry if we go outside," he said. "We can eat there."</p> - -<p>"We can eat if the buzzer sounds, but it is broken," Chuls said dully.</p> - -<p>Crifer shrilled, "Maybe it is only variable and will buzz again."</p> - -<p>"No," Rikud assured him. "It won't."</p> - -<p>"Then you broke it and I hate you," said Crifer. "We should break you, -too, to show you how it is to be broken."</p> - -<p>"We must go outside—through the viewport." Rikud listened to the odd -gurgling sound his stomach made.</p> - -<p>A hand reached out in the darkness and grabbed at his head. He heard -Crifer's voice. "I have Rikud's head." The voice was nasty, hostile.</p> - -<p>Crifer, more than anyone, had been his friend. But now that he had -broken the machinery, Crifer was his enemy, because Crifer came nearer -to understanding the situation than anyone except Rikud.</p> - -<p>The hand reached out again, and it struck Rikud hard across the face. -"I hit him! I hit him!"</p> - -<p>Other hands reached out, and Rikud stumbled. He fell and then someone -was on top of him, and he struggled. He rolled and was up again, and -he did not like the sound of the angry voices. Someone said, "Let us -do to Rikud what he said he did to the machinery." Rikud ran. In the -darkness, his feet prodded many bodies. There were those who were too -weak to rise. Rikud, too, felt a strange light-headedness and a gnawing -hurt in his stomach. But it didn't matter. He heard the angry voices -and the feet pounding behind him, and he wanted only to get away.</p> - -<p>It was dark and he was hungry and everyone who was strong enough to run -was chasing him, but every time he thought of the garden outside, and -how big it was, the darkness and the hunger and the people chasing him -were unimportant. It was so big that it would swallow him up completely -and positively.</p> - -<p>He became sickly giddy thinking about it.</p> - -<p>But if he didn't open the door and go into the garden outside, he would -die because he had no food and no water and his stomach gurgled and -grumbled and hurt. And everyone was chasing him.</p> - -<p>He stumbled through the darkness and felt his way back to the library, -through the inner door and into the room with the voice—but the -voice didn't speak this time—through its door and into the place of -machinery. Behind him, he could hear the voices at the first door, and -he thought for a moment that no one would come after him. But he heard -Crifer yell something, and then feet pounding in the passage.</p> - -<p>Rikud tripped over something and sprawled awkwardly across the floor. -He felt a sharp hurt in his head, and when he reached up to touch it -with his hands there in the darkness, his fingers came away wet.</p> - -<p>He got up slowly and opened the next door. The voices behind him were -closer now. Light streamed in through the viewport. After the darkness, -it frightened Rikud and it made his eyes smart, and he could hear those -behind him retreating to a safe distance. But their voices were not -far away, and he knew they would come after him because they wanted to -break him.</p> - -<p>Rikud looked out upon the garden and he trembled. Out there was life. -The garden stretched off in unthinkable immensity to the cluster of -low mounds against the bright blue which roofed the many plants. If -plants could live out there as they did within the world, then so could -people. Rikud and his people <i>should</i>. This was why the world had moved -across the darkness and the stars for all Rikud's lifetime and more. -But he was afraid.</p> - -<p>He reached up and grasped the handle of the door and he saw that his -fingers were red with the wetness which had come from his hurt head. -Slowly he slipped to the cool floor—how his head was burning!—and for -a long time he lay there, thinking he would never rise again. Inside he -heard the voices again, and soon a foot and then another pounded on -the metal of the passage. He heard Crifer's voice louder than the rest: -"There is Rikud on the floor!"</p> - -<p>Tugging at the handle of the door, Rikud pulled himself upright. -Something small and brown scurried across the other side of the -viewport and Rikud imagined it turned to look at him with two hideous -red eyes.</p> - -<p>Rikud screamed and hurtled back through the corridor, and his face -was so terrible in the light streaming in through the viewport that -everyone fled before him. He stumbled again in the place of the -machinery, and down on his hands and knees he fondled the bits of metal -which he could see in the dim light through the open door.</p> - -<p>"Where's the buzzer?" he sobbed. "I must find the buzzer."</p> - -<p>Crifer's voice, from the darkness inside, said, "You broke it. You -broke it. And now we will break you—"</p> - -<p>Rikud got up and ran. He reached the door again and then he slipped -down against it, exhausted. Behind him, the voices and the footsteps -came, and soon he saw Crifer's head peer in through the passageway. -Then there were others, and then they were walking toward him.</p> - -<p>His head whirled and the viewport seemed to swim in a haze. Could it -be variable, as Crifer had suggested? He wondered if the scurrying -brown thing waited somewhere, and nausea struck at the pit of his -stomach. But if the plants could live out there and the scurrying thing -could live and that was why the world had moved through the blackness, -then so could he live out there, and Crifer and all the others....</p> - -<p>So tightly did he grip the handle that his fingers began to hurt. And -his heart pounded hard and he felt the pulses leaping on either side of -his neck.</p> - -<p>He stared out into the garden, and off into the distance, where the -blue-white globe which might have been a star stood just above the row -of mounds.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Crifer was tugging at him, trying to pull him away from the door, and -someone was grabbing at his legs, trying to make him fall. He kicked -out and the hands let go, and then he turned the handle and shoved the -weight of his body with all his strength against the door.</p> - -<p>It opened and he stepped outside into the warmth.</p> - -<p>The air was fresh, fresher than any air Rikud had ever breathed. He -walked around aimlessly, touching the plants and bending down to feel -the floor, and sometimes he looked at the blue-white globe on the -horizon. It was all very beautiful.</p> - -<p>Near the ship, water that did not come from a machine gurgled across -the land, and Rikud lay down and drank. It was cool and good, and when -he got up, Crifer and Wilm were outside the world, and some of the -others followed. They stood around for a long time before going to the -water to drink.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus2.jpg" width="600" height="199" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Rikud sat down and tore off a piece of a plant, munching on it. It was -good.</p> - -<p>Crifer picked his head up, from the water, his chin wet. "Even feelings -are variable. I don't hate you now, Rikud."</p> - -<p>Rikud smiled, staring at the ship. "People are variable, too, Crifer. -That is, if those creatures coming from the ship are people."</p> - -<p>"They're women," said Crifer.</p> - -<p>They were strangely shaped in some ways, and yet in others completely -human, and their voices were high, like singing. Rikud found them oddly -exciting. He liked them. He liked the garden, for all its hugeness. -With so many people, and especially now with women, he was not afraid.</p> - -<p>It was much better than the small world of machinery, buzzer, -frightening doors and women by appointment only.</p> - -<p>Rikud felt at home.</p> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sense of Wonder, by Milton Lesser - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SENSE OF WONDER *** - -***** This file should be named 51296-h.htm or 51296-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/2/9/51296/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: The Sense of Wonder - -Author: Milton Lesser - -Release Date: February 24, 2016 [EBook #51296] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SENSE OF WONDER *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - The Sense of Wonder - - By MILTON LESSER - - Illustrated by HARRY ROSENBAUM - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Science Fiction September 1951. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - When nobody aboard ship remembers where it's - going, how can they tell when it has arrived? - - -Every day for a week now, Rikud had come to the viewport to watch -the great changeless sweep of space. He could not quite explain the -feelings within him; they were so alien, so unnatural. But ever since -the engines somewhere in the rear of the world had changed their tone, -from the steady whining Rikud had heard all twenty-five years of his -life, to the sullen roar that came to his ears now, the feelings had -grown. - -If anyone else had noticed the change, he failed to mention it. This -disturbed Rikud, although he could not tell why. And, because he had -realized this odd difference in himself, he kept it locked up inside -him. - -Today, space looked somehow different. The stars--it was a meaningless -concept to Rikud, but that was what everyone called the bright -pinpoints of light on the black backdrop in the viewport--were not -apparent in the speckled profusion Rikud had always known. Instead, -there was more of the blackness, and one very bright star set apart -by itself in the middle of the viewport. - -If he had understood the term, Rikud would have told himself this was -odd. His head ached with the half-born thought. It was--it was--what -was it? - -Someone was clomping up the companionway behind Rikud. He turned and -greeted gray-haired old Chuls. - -"In five more years," the older man chided, "you'll be ready to sire -children. And all you can do in the meantime is gaze out at the stars." - -Rikud knew he should be exercising now, or bathing in the rays of the -health-lamps. It had never occurred to him that he didn't feel like it; -he just didn't, without comprehending. - -Chuls' reminder fostered uneasiness. Often Rikud had dreamed of the -time he would be thirty and a father. Whom would the Calculator select -as his mate? The first time this idea had occurred to him, Rikud -ignored it. But it came again, and each time it left him with a feeling -he could not explain. Why should he think thoughts that no other man -had? Why should he think he was thinking such thoughts, when it always -embroiled him in a hopeless, infinite confusion that left him with a -headache? - -Chuls said, "It is time for my bath in the health-rays. I saw you here -and knew it was your time, too...." - -His voice trailed off. Rikud knew that something which he could not -explain had entered the elder man's head for a moment, but it had -departed almost before Chuls knew of its existence. - -"I'll go with you," Rikud told him. - - * * * * * - -A hardly perceptible purple glow pervaded the air in the room of the -health-rays. Perhaps two score men lay about, naked, under the ray -tubes. Chuls stripped himself and selected the space under a vacant -tube. Rikud, for his part, wanted to get back to the viewport and watch -the one new bright star. He had the distinct notion it was growing -larger every moment. He turned to go, but the door clicked shut and a -metallic voice said. "Fifteen minutes under the tubes, please." - -Rikud muttered to himself and undressed. The world had begun to annoy -him. Now why shouldn't a man be permitted to do what he wanted, when -he wanted to do it? _There_ was a strange thought, and Rikud's brain -whirled once more down the tortuous course of half-formed questions and -unsatisfactory answers. - -He had even wondered what it was like to get hurt. No one ever got -hurt. Once, here in this same ray room, he had had the impulse to hurl -himself head-first against the wall, just to see what would happen. -But something soft had cushioned the impact--something which had come -into being just for the moment and then abruptly passed into non-being -again, something which was as impalpable as air. - -Rikud had been stopped in this action, although there was no real -authority to stop him. This puzzled him, because somehow he felt that -there should have been authority. A long time ago the reading machine -in the library had told him of the elders--a meaningless term--who had -governed the world. They told you to do something and you did it, but -that was silly, because now no one told you to do anything. You only -listened to the buzzer. - -And Rikud could remember the rest of what the reading machine had said. -There had been a revolt--again a term without any real meaning, a term -that could have no reality outside of the reading machine--and the -elders were overthrown. Here Rikud had been lost utterly. The people -had decided that they did not know where they were going, or why, and -that it was unfair that the elders alone had this authority. They were -born and they lived and they died as the elders directed, like little -cogs in a great machine. Much of this Rikud could not understand, but -he knew enough to realize that the reading machine had sided with the -people against the elders, and it said the people had won. - -Now in the health room, Rikud felt a warmth in the rays. Grudgingly, he -had to admit to himself that it was not unpleasant. He could see the -look of easy contentment on Chuls' face as the rays fanned down upon -him, bathing his old body in a forgotten magic which, many generations -before Rikud's time, had negated the necessity for a knowledge of -medicine. But when, in another ten years, Chuls would perish of old -age, the rays would no longer suffice. Nothing would, for Chuls. Rikud -often thought of his own death, still seventy-five years in the future, -not without a sense of alarm. Yet old Chuls seemed heedless, with only -a decade to go. - -Under the tube at Rikud's left lay Crifer. The man was short and heavy -through the shoulders and chest, and he had a lame foot. Every time -Rikud looked at that foot, it was with a sense of satisfaction. True, -this was the only case of its kind, the exception to the rule, but it -proved the world was not perfect. Rikud was guiltily glad when he saw -Crifer limp. - -But, if anyone else saw it, he never said a word. Not even Crifer. - - * * * * * - -Now Crifer said, "I've been reading again, Rikud." - -"Yes?" Almost no one read any more, and the library was heavy with the -smell of dust. Reading represented initiative on the part of Crifer; it -meant that, in the two unoccupied hours before sleep, he went to the -library and listened to the reading machine. Everyone else simply sat -about and talked. That was the custom. Everyone did it. - -But if he wasn't reading himself, Rikud usually went to sleep. All the -people ever talked about was what they had done during the day, and it -was always the same. - -"Yes," said Crifer. "I found a book about the stars. They're also -called astronomy, I think." - -This was a new thought to Rikud, and he propped his head up on one -elbow. "What did you find out?" - -"That's about all. They're just called astronomy, I think." - -"Well, where's the book?" Rikud would read it tomorrow. - -"I left it in the library. You can find several of them under -'astronomy,' with a cross-reference under 'stars.' They're synonymous -terms." - -"You know," Rikud said, sitting up now, "the stars in the viewport are -changing." - -"Changing?" Crifer questioned the fuzzy concept as much as he -questioned what it might mean in this particular case. - -"Yes, there are less of them, and one is bigger and brighter than the -others." - -"Astronomy says some stars are variable," Crifer offered, but Rikud -knew his lame-footed companion understood the word no better than he -did. - -Over on Rikud's right, Chuls began to dress. "Variability," he told -them, "is a contradictory term. Nothing is variable. It can't be." - -"I'm only saying what I read in the book," Crifer protested mildly. - -"Well, it's wrong. Variability and change are two words without -meaning." - -"People grow old," Rikud suggested. - -A buzzer signified that his fifteen minutes under the rays were up, and -Chuls said, "It's almost time for me to eat." - -Rikud frowned. Chuls hadn't even seen the connection between the two -concepts, yet it was so clear. Or was it? He had had it a moment ago, -but now it faded, and change and old were just two words. - -His own buzzer sounded a moment later, and it was with a strange -feeling of elation that he dressed and made his way back to the -viewport. When he passed the door which led to the women's half of the -world, however, he paused. He wanted to open that door and see a woman. -He had been told about them and he had seen pictures, and he dimly -remembered his childhood among women. But his feelings had changed; -this was different. Again there were inexplicable feelings--strange -channelings of Rikud's energy in new and confusing directions. - -He shrugged and reserved the thought for later. He wanted to see the -stars again. - - * * * * * - -The view had changed, and the strangeness of it made Rikud's pulses -leap with excitement. All the stars were paler now than before, and -where Rikud had seen the one bright central star, he now saw a globe of -light, white with a tinge of blue in it, and so bright that it hurt his -eyes to look. - -Yes, hurt! Rikud looked and looked until his eyes teared and he had to -turn away. Here was an unknown factor which the perfect world failed -to control. But how could a star change into a blinking blue-white -globe--if, indeed, that was the star Rikud had seen earlier? There -was that word change again. Didn't it have something to do with age? -Rikud couldn't remember, and he suddenly wished he could read Crifer's -book on astronomy, which meant the same as stars. Except that it was -variable, which was like change, being tied up somehow with age. - -Presently Rikud became aware that his eyes were not tearing any longer, -and he turned to look at the viewport. What he saw now was so new that -he couldn't at first accept it. Instead, he blinked and rubbed his -eyes, sure that the ball of blue-white fire somehow had damaged them. -But the new view persisted. - -Of stars there were few, and of the blackness, almost nothing. Gone, -too, was the burning globe. Something loomed there in the port, so huge -that it spread out over almost the entire surface. Something big and -round, all grays and greens and browns, and something for which Rikud -had no name. - -A few moments more, and Rikud no longer could see the sphere. A section -of it had expanded outward and assumed the rectangular shape of the -viewport, and its size as well. It seemed neatly sheered down the -middle, so that on one side Rikud saw an expanse of brown and green, -and on the other, blue. - -Startled, Rikud leaped back. The sullen roar in the rear of the world -had ceased abruptly. Instead an ominous silence, broken at regular -intervals by a sharp booming. - -Change-- - -"Won't you eat, Rikud?" Chuls called from somewhere down below. - -"Damn the man," Rikud thought. Then aloud: "Yes, I'll eat. Later." - -"It's time...." Chuls' voice trailed off again, impotently. - -But Rikud forgot the old man completely. A new idea occurred to him, -and for a while he struggled with it. What he saw--what he had always -seen, except that now there was the added factor of change--perhaps did -not exist _in_ the viewport. - -Maybe it existed _through_ the viewport. - -That was maddening. Rikud turned again to the port, where he could see -nothing but an obscuring cloud of white vapor, murky, swirling, more -confusing than ever. - -"Chuls," he called, remembering, "come here." - -"I am here," said a voice at his elbow. - -Rikud whirled on the little figure and pointed to the swirling cloud of -vapor. "What do you see?" - -Chuls looked. "The viewport, of course." - -"What else?" - -"Else? Nothing." - -Anger welled up inside Rikud. "All right," he said, "listen. What do -you hear?" - -"Broom, brroom, brrroom!" Chuls imitated the intermittent blasting of -the engines. "I'm hungry, Rikud." - -The old man turned and strode off down the corridor toward the dining -room, and Rikud was glad to be alone once more. - - * * * * * - -Now the vapor had departed, except for a few tenuous whisps. For a -moment Rikud thought he could see the gardens rearward in the world. -But that was silly. What were the gardens doing in the viewport? And -besides, Rikud had the distinct feeling that here was something far -vaster than the gardens, although all of it existed in the viewport -which was no wider than the length of his body. The gardens, moreover, -did not jump and dance before his eyes the way the viewport gardens -did. Nor did they spin. Nor did the trees grow larger with every jolt. - -Rikud sat down hard. He blinked. - -The world had come to rest on the garden of the viewport. - - * * * * * - -For a whole week that view did not change, and Rikud had come to accept -it as fact. There--through the viewport and in it--was a garden. A -garden larger than the entire world, a garden of plants which Rikud had -never seen before, although he had always liked to stroll through the -world's garden and he had come to know every plant well. Nevertheless, -it was a garden. - -He told Chuls, but Chuls had responded, "It is the viewport." - -Crifer, on the other hand, wasn't so sure. "It looks like the garden," -he admitted to Rikud. "But why should the garden be in the viewport?" - -Somehow, Rikud knew this question for a healthy sign. But he could -not tell them of his most amazing thought of all. The change in the -viewport could mean only one thing. The world had been walking--the -word seemed all wrong to Rikud, but he could think of no other, unless -it were running. The world had been walking somewhere. That somewhere -was the garden and the world had arrived. - -"It is an old picture of the garden," Chuls suggested, "and the plants -are different." - -"Then they've changed?" - -"No, merely different." - -"Well, what about the viewport? _It_ changed. Where are the stars? -Where are they, Chuls, if it did not change?" - -"The stars come out at night." - -"So there is a change from day to night!" - -"I didn't say that. The stars simply shine at night. Why should they -shine during the day when the world wants them to shine only at night?" - -"Once they shone all the time." - -"Naturally," said Crifer, becoming interested. "They are variable." - - * * * * * - -Rikud regretted that he never had had the chance to read that book on -astronomy. He hadn't been reading too much lately. The voice of the -reading machine had begun to bore him. He said, "Well, variable or not, -our whole perspective has changed." - -And when Chuls looked away in disinterest, Rikud became angry. If only -the man would realize! If only anyone would realize! It all seemed so -obvious. If he, Rikud, walked from one part of the world to another, -it was with a purpose--to eat, or to sleep, or perhaps to bathe in the -health-rays. Now if the world had walked from--somewhere, through the -vast star-speckled darkness and to the great garden outside, this also -was purposeful. The world had arrived at the garden for a reason. But -if everyone lived as if the world still stood in blackness, how could -they find the nature of that purpose? - -"I will eat," Chuls said, breaking Rikud's revery. - -Damn the man, all he did was eat! - -Yet he did have initiative after a sort. He knew when to eat. Because -he was hungry. - -And Rikud, too, was hungry. - -Differently. - - * * * * * - -He had long wondered about the door in the back of the library, and -now, as Crifer sat cross-legged on one of the dusty tables, reading -machine and book on astronomy or stars in his lap, Rikud approached the -door. - -"What's in here?" he demanded. - -"It's a door, I think," said Crifer. - -"I know, but what's beyond it?" - -"Beyond it? Oh, you mean _through_ the door." - -"Yes." - -"Well," Crifer scratched his head, "I don't think anyone ever opened -it. It's only a door." - -"I will," said Rikud. - -"You will what?" - -"Open it. Open the door and look inside." - -A long pause. Then, "Can you do it?" - -"I think so." - -"You can't, probably. How can anyone go where no one has been before? -There's nothing. It just isn't. It's only a door, Rikud." - -"No--" Rikud began, but the words faded off into a sharp intake of -breath. Rikud had turned the knob and pushed. The door opened silently, -and Crifer said, "Doors are variable, too, I think." - -Rikud saw a small room, perhaps half a dozen paces across, at the other -end of which was another door, just like the first. Halfway across, -Rikud heard a voice not unlike that of the reading machine. - -He missed the beginning, but then: - - --therefore, permit no unauthorized persons to go through this - door. The machinery in the next room is your protection against the - rigors of space. A thousand years from now, journey's end, you may - have discarded it for something better--who knows? But if you have - not, then here is your protection. As nearly as possible, this ship - is a perfect, self-sustaining world. It is more than that: it is - human-sustaining as well. Try to hurt yourself and the ship will - not permit it--within limits, of course. But you can damage the - ship, and to avoid any possibility of that, no unauthorized persons - are to be permitted through this door-- - -Rikud gave the voice up as hopeless. There were too many confusing -words. What in the world was an unauthorized person? More interesting -than that, however, was the second door. Would it lead to another -voice? Rikud hoped that it wouldn't. - -When he opened the door a strange new noise filled his ears, a gentle -humming, punctuated by a _throb-throb-throb_ which sounded not unlike -the booming of the engines last week, except that this new sound didn't -blast nearly so loudly against his eardrums. And what met Rikud's -eyes--he blinked and looked again, but it was still there--cogs and -gears and wheels and nameless things all strange and beautiful because -they shone with a luster unfamiliar to him. - -"Odd," Rikud said aloud. Then he thought, "Now there's a good word, but -no one quite seems to know its meaning." - -Odder still was the third door. Rikud suddenly thought there might -exist an endless succession of them, especially when the third one -opened on a bare tunnel which led to yet another door. - -Only this one was different. In it Rikud saw the viewport. But how? The -viewport stood on the other end of the world. It did seem smaller, and, -although it looked out on the garden, Rikud sensed that the topography -was different. Then the garden extended even farther than he had -thought. It was endless, extending all the way to a ridge of mounds way -off in the distance. - -And this door one could walk through, into the garden. Rikud put his -hand on the door, all the while watching the garden through the new -viewport. He began to turn the handle. - -Then he trembled. - -What would he do out in the garden? - -He couldn't go alone. He'd die of the strangeness. It was a silly -thought; no one ever died of anything until he was a hundred. Rikud -couldn't fathom the rapid thumping of his heart. And Rikud's mouth felt -dry; he wanted to swallow, but couldn't. - -Slowly, he took his hand off the door lever. He made his way back -through the tunnel and then through the room of machinery and finally -through the little room with the confusing voice to Crifer. - -By the time he reached the lame-footed man, Rikud was running. He did -not dare once to look back. He stood shaking at Crifer's side, and -sweat covered him in a clammy film. He never wanted to look at the -garden again. Not when he knew there was a door through which he could -walk and then might find himself in the garden. - -It was so big. - - * * * * * - -Three or four days passed before Rikud calmed himself enough to -talk about his experience. When he did, only Crifer seemed at all -interested, yet the lame-footed man's mind was inadequate to cope with -the situation. He suggested that the viewport might also be variable -and Rikud found himself wishing that his friend had never read that -book on astronomy. - -Chuls did not believe Rikud at all. "There are not that many doors in -the world," he said. "The library has a door and there is a door to the -women's quarters; in five years, the Calculator will send you through -that. But there are no others." - -Chuls smiled an indulgent smile and Rikud came nearer to him. "Now, by -the world, there are two other doors!" - -Rikud began to shout, and everyone looked at him queerly. - -"What are you doing that for?" demanded Wilm, who was shorter even than -Crifer, but had no lame foot. - -"Doing what?" - -"Speaking so loudly when Chuls, who is close, obviously has no trouble -hearing you." - -"Maybe yelling will make him understand." - -Crifer hobbled about on his good foot, doing a meaningless little jig. -"Why don't we go see?" he suggested. Then, confused, he frowned. - -"Well, I won't go," Chuls replied. "There's no reason to go. If Rikud -has been imagining things, why should I?" - -"I imagined nothing. I'll show you--" - -"You'll show me nothing because I won't go." - -Rikud grabbed Chuls' blouse with his big fist. Then, startled by what -he did, his hands began to tremble. But he held on, and he tugged at -the blouse. - -"Stop that," said the older man, mildly. - - * * * * * - -Crifer hopped up and down. "Look what Rikud's doing! I don't know what -he's doing, but look. He's holding Chuls' blouse." - -"Stop that," repeated Chuls, his face reddening. - -"Only if you'll go with me." Rikud was panting. - -Chuls tugged at his wrist. By this time a crowd had gathered. Some of -them watched Crifer jump up and down, but most of them watched Rikud -holding Chuls' blouse. - -"I think I can do that," declared Wilm, clutching a fistful of Crifer's -shirt. - -Presently, the members of the crowd had pretty well paired off, each -partner grabbing for his companion's blouse. They giggled and laughed -and some began to hop up and down as Crifer had done. - -A buzzer sounded and automatically Rikud found himself releasing Chuls. - -Chuls said, forgetting the incident completely, "Time to retire." - -In a moment, the room was cleared. Rikud stood alone. He cleared his -throat and listened to the sound, all by itself in the stillness. What -would have happened if they hadn't retired? But they always did things -punctually like that, whenever the buzzer sounded. They ate with the -buzzer, bathed in the health-rays with it, slept with it. - -What would they do if the buzzer stopped buzzing? - -This frightened Rikud, although he didn't know why. He'd like it, -though. Maybe then he could take them outside with him to the big -garden of the two viewports. And then he wouldn't be afraid because he -could huddle close to them and he wouldn't be alone. - - * * * * * - -Rikud heard the throbbing again as he stood in the room of the -machinery. For a long time he watched the wheels and cogs and gears -spinning and humming. He watched for he knew not how long. And then he -began to wonder. If he destroyed the wheels and the cogs and the gears, -would the buzzer stop? It probably would, because, as Rikud saw it, he -was clearly an "unauthorized person." He had heard the voice again -upon entering the room. - -He found a metal rod, bright and shiny, three feet long and half as -wide as his arm. He tugged at it and it came loose from the wires that -held it in place. He hefted it carefully for a moment, and then he -swung the bar into the mass of metal. Each time he heard a grinding, -crashing sound. He looked as the gears and cogs and wheels crumbled -under his blows, shattered by the strength of his arm. - -Almost casually he strode about the room, but his blows were not -casual. Soon his easy strides had given way to frenzied running. Rikud -smashed everything in sight. - -When the lights winked out, he stopped. Anyway, by that time the room -was a shambles of twisted, broken metal. He laughed, softly at first, -but presently he was roaring, and the sound doubled and redoubled in -his ears because now the throbbing had stopped. - -He opened the door and ran through the little corridor to the smaller -viewport. Outside he could see the stars, and, dimly, the terrain -beneath them. But everything was so dark that only the stars shone -clearly. All else was bathed in a shadow of unreality. - -Rikud never wanted to do anything more than he wanted to open that -door. But his hands trembled too much when he touched it, and once, -when he pressed his face close against the viewport, there in the -darkness, something bright flashed briefly through the sky and was gone. - -Whimpering, he fled. - - * * * * * - -All around Rikud were darkness and hunger and thirst. The buzzer did -not sound because Rikud had silenced it forever. And no one went to -eat or drink. Rikud himself had fumbled through the blackness and the -whimpering to the dining room, his tongue dry and swollen, but the -smooth belt that flowed with water and with savory dishes did not run -any more. The machinery, Rikud realized, also was responsible for food. - -Chuls said, over and over, "I'm hungry." - -"We will eat and we will drink when the buzzer tells us," Wilm replied -confidently. - -"It won't any more," Rikud said. - -"What won't?" - -"The buzzer will never sound again. I broke it." - -Crifer growled. "I know. You shouldn't have done it. That was a bad -thing you did, Rikud." - -"It was not bad. The world has moved through the blackness and the -stars and now we should go outside to live in the big garden there -beyond the viewport." - -"That's ridiculous," Chuls said. - -Even Crifer now was angry at Rikud. "He broke the buzzer and no one can -eat. I hate Rikud, I think." - -There was a lot of noise in the darkness, and someone else said, "I -hate Rikud." Then everyone was saying it. - -Rikud was sad. Soon he would die, because no one would go outside with -him and he could not go outside alone. In five more years he would have -had a woman, too. He wondered if it was dark and hungry in the women's -quarters. Did women eat? - -Perhaps they ate plants. Once, in the garden, Rikud had broken off a -frond and tasted it. It had been bitter, but not unpleasant. Maybe the -plants in the viewport would even be better. - -"We will not be hungry if we go outside," he said. "We can eat there." - -"We can eat if the buzzer sounds, but it is broken," Chuls said dully. - -Crifer shrilled, "Maybe it is only variable and will buzz again." - -"No," Rikud assured him. "It won't." - -"Then you broke it and I hate you," said Crifer. "We should break you, -too, to show you how it is to be broken." - -"We must go outside--through the viewport." Rikud listened to the odd -gurgling sound his stomach made. - -A hand reached out in the darkness and grabbed at his head. He heard -Crifer's voice. "I have Rikud's head." The voice was nasty, hostile. - -Crifer, more than anyone, had been his friend. But now that he had -broken the machinery, Crifer was his enemy, because Crifer came nearer -to understanding the situation than anyone except Rikud. - -The hand reached out again, and it struck Rikud hard across the face. -"I hit him! I hit him!" - -Other hands reached out, and Rikud stumbled. He fell and then someone -was on top of him, and he struggled. He rolled and was up again, and -he did not like the sound of the angry voices. Someone said, "Let us -do to Rikud what he said he did to the machinery." Rikud ran. In the -darkness, his feet prodded many bodies. There were those who were too -weak to rise. Rikud, too, felt a strange light-headedness and a gnawing -hurt in his stomach. But it didn't matter. He heard the angry voices -and the feet pounding behind him, and he wanted only to get away. - -It was dark and he was hungry and everyone who was strong enough to run -was chasing him, but every time he thought of the garden outside, and -how big it was, the darkness and the hunger and the people chasing him -were unimportant. It was so big that it would swallow him up completely -and positively. - -He became sickly giddy thinking about it. - -But if he didn't open the door and go into the garden outside, he would -die because he had no food and no water and his stomach gurgled and -grumbled and hurt. And everyone was chasing him. - -He stumbled through the darkness and felt his way back to the library, -through the inner door and into the room with the voice--but the -voice didn't speak this time--through its door and into the place of -machinery. Behind him, he could hear the voices at the first door, and -he thought for a moment that no one would come after him. But he heard -Crifer yell something, and then feet pounding in the passage. - -Rikud tripped over something and sprawled awkwardly across the floor. -He felt a sharp hurt in his head, and when he reached up to touch it -with his hands there in the darkness, his fingers came away wet. - -He got up slowly and opened the next door. The voices behind him were -closer now. Light streamed in through the viewport. After the darkness, -it frightened Rikud and it made his eyes smart, and he could hear those -behind him retreating to a safe distance. But their voices were not -far away, and he knew they would come after him because they wanted to -break him. - -Rikud looked out upon the garden and he trembled. Out there was life. -The garden stretched off in unthinkable immensity to the cluster of -low mounds against the bright blue which roofed the many plants. If -plants could live out there as they did within the world, then so could -people. Rikud and his people _should_. This was why the world had moved -across the darkness and the stars for all Rikud's lifetime and more. -But he was afraid. - -He reached up and grasped the handle of the door and he saw that his -fingers were red with the wetness which had come from his hurt head. -Slowly he slipped to the cool floor--how his head was burning!--and for -a long time he lay there, thinking he would never rise again. Inside he -heard the voices again, and soon a foot and then another pounded on -the metal of the passage. He heard Crifer's voice louder than the rest: -"There is Rikud on the floor!" - -Tugging at the handle of the door, Rikud pulled himself upright. -Something small and brown scurried across the other side of the -viewport and Rikud imagined it turned to look at him with two hideous -red eyes. - -Rikud screamed and hurtled back through the corridor, and his face -was so terrible in the light streaming in through the viewport that -everyone fled before him. He stumbled again in the place of the -machinery, and down on his hands and knees he fondled the bits of metal -which he could see in the dim light through the open door. - -"Where's the buzzer?" he sobbed. "I must find the buzzer." - -Crifer's voice, from the darkness inside, said, "You broke it. You -broke it. And now we will break you--" - -Rikud got up and ran. He reached the door again and then he slipped -down against it, exhausted. Behind him, the voices and the footsteps -came, and soon he saw Crifer's head peer in through the passageway. -Then there were others, and then they were walking toward him. - -His head whirled and the viewport seemed to swim in a haze. Could it -be variable, as Crifer had suggested? He wondered if the scurrying -brown thing waited somewhere, and nausea struck at the pit of his -stomach. But if the plants could live out there and the scurrying thing -could live and that was why the world had moved through the blackness, -then so could he live out there, and Crifer and all the others.... - -So tightly did he grip the handle that his fingers began to hurt. And -his heart pounded hard and he felt the pulses leaping on either side of -his neck. - -He stared out into the garden, and off into the distance, where the -blue-white globe which might have been a star stood just above the row -of mounds. - - * * * * * - -Crifer was tugging at him, trying to pull him away from the door, and -someone was grabbing at his legs, trying to make him fall. He kicked -out and the hands let go, and then he turned the handle and shoved the -weight of his body with all his strength against the door. - -It opened and he stepped outside into the warmth. - -The air was fresh, fresher than any air Rikud had ever breathed. He -walked around aimlessly, touching the plants and bending down to feel -the floor, and sometimes he looked at the blue-white globe on the -horizon. It was all very beautiful. - -Near the ship, water that did not come from a machine gurgled across -the land, and Rikud lay down and drank. It was cool and good, and when -he got up, Crifer and Wilm were outside the world, and some of the -others followed. They stood around for a long time before going to the -water to drink. - -Rikud sat down and tore off a piece of a plant, munching on it. It was -good. - -Crifer picked his head up, from the water, his chin wet. "Even feelings -are variable. I don't hate you now, Rikud." - -Rikud smiled, staring at the ship. "People are variable, too, Crifer. -That is, if those creatures coming from the ship are people." - -"They're women," said Crifer. - -They were strangely shaped in some ways, and yet in others completely -human, and their voices were high, like singing. Rikud found them oddly -exciting. He liked them. He liked the garden, for all its hugeness. -With so many people, and especially now with women, he was not afraid. - -It was much better than the small world of machinery, buzzer, -frightening doors and women by appointment only. - -Rikud felt at home. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Sense of Wonder, by Milton Lesser - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SENSE OF WONDER *** - -***** This file should be named 51296.txt or 51296.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/2/9/51296/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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