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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
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+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #51265 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51265)
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-Project Gutenberg's The Last of the Mortimers, by Margaret Oliphant
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Last of the Mortimers
- A Story in Two Voices
-
-Author: Margaret Oliphant
-
-Release Date: December 22, 2016 [EBook #51265]
-[Last updated: July 18, 2017]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LAST OF THE MORTIMERS ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Chuck Greif and the Online Distributed
-Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
-produced from images available at The Internet Archive)
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE
-
- LAST OF THE MORTIMERS.
-
- A Story in Two Voices.
-
- BY
-
- MRS. OLIPHANT,
-
- AUTHOR OF
-
- “MADONNA MARY,” “FOR LOVE AND LIFE,” “SQUIRE ARDEN,”
- “MAY,” “THE HOUSE ON THE MOOR,” ETC., ETC.
-
- NEW EDITION.
-
- WARD, LOCK, AND CO.,
- LONDON, NEW YORK, AND MELBOURNE.
-
- [_All rights reserved._]
-
-
-
-
-CONTENTS.
-
-
-PART I.
-
- PAGE
-
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL 1
-
-
-PART II.
-
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE 48
-
-
-PART III.
-
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL--_continued_ 105
-
-
-PART IV.
-
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE--_continued_ 166
-
-
-PART V.
-
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL--_continued_ 227
-
-
-POSTSCRIPT 365
-
-
-
-
-[Illustration: text decoration]
-
-
-
-
-THE LAST OF THE MORTIMERS.
-
-
-
-
-PART I.
-
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-I thought I heard a slight rustle, as if Sarah had taken off her
-spectacles, but I was really so interested in the matter which I was
-then discussing with Mr. Cresswell, our solicitor, that I did not look
-round, as I certainly should have done in any other circumstances; but
-imagine my utter amazement and the start which Mr. Cresswell gave,
-nearly upsetting the ink on the drab table-cover, which never _could_
-have got the better of it, when my sister Sarah, who never speaks except
-to me, and then only in a whisper, pronounced distinctly, loud out, the
-following words: “His Christian name was Richard Arkwright; he was
-called after the cotton-spinner; that was the chief thing against him in
-my father’s days.”
-
-Now it was years and years ago since Sarah had lost her voice. It
-happened before my father died, when we were both comparatively young
-people; she had been abroad with him and caught a violent cold on her
-way home. She was rather proud in those days--it was before she took to
-knitting--and she had not forgotten then that she was once a beauty.
-When she saw that her voice was gone for good, Sarah gave up talking.
-She declared to me privately that to keep up a conversation in that
-hoarse horrid whisper was more than she could give in to, and though she
-was a very good Christian in principle she never could be resigned to
-that loss. At first she kept upstairs in her own room; but after my
-father’s death she came regularly to the drawing-room, giving everybody
-to understand that she was not to be spoken to. Poor dear old soul! she
-was as anxious to hear everything that was said to me as if she had come
-down off her stilts and taken part in the conversation; but you may
-suppose what a startling event it was to hear Sarah’s voice.
-
-I gave a jump, as was natural, and ran to her to see what had happened.
-
-“Do be cautious, Milly,” she said, fretfully, in her old whisper; for to
-be sure I had whisked down her ball of worsted, and caught one of her
-pins in my new-fashioned buttonholes. “At your age a gentlewoman should
-move about in a different sort of way. I am quite well, thank you.
-Please to go back to your occupation, and leave me to carry on mine in
-peace.”
-
-“But Sarah, my dear soul! you’ve got back your voice!” cried I.
-
-Sarah smiled at me, not with her pretty smile. “People who are strong
-are always thinking such things,” she said. “You don’t know what it is
-to be afflicted; go back to your business, please.”
-
-“What does she say, Miss Milly?” cried Mr. Cresswell, quite eagerly,
-when I went back to the table.
-
-“Oh, nothing at all; it’s all a mistake, I suppose,” said I, feeling a
-little nettled, “put it down all the same. I dare say it was one of
-those spirits we hear about nowadays. And a very useful bit of
-information too, which makes it all the more remarkable, for I never
-heard they did much good in that way. Richard Arkwright! Of all the
-names I ever heard, the oddest name for a Mortimer! but put it down.”
-
-Mr. Cresswell put it down as I said. “Richard Arkwright Mortimer is
-something more of an individual than Blank Mortimer, Esq., that’s true,”
-said he; “he ought to be something with that name. Begging your pardon,
-Miss Milly, though he was a Mortimer, he ought to have had either a
-profession or a trade with that name. Don’t you think now,” he said,
-lowering his voice, and making a sign at Sarah over his shoulder, “after
-having broken the ice, something more might be got out of _her_?”
-
-I shook my head at first, being angry; then I nodded as I came to
-myself, and at last said--it was all I could say--“We’ll see.”
-
-“Ah, ah, we’ll see--that’ll do, Miss Milly; but don’t lose your temper,
-my dear lady,” said Mr. Cresswell; “all the county reverences you for an
-angelic temper, as you well know.”
-
-“Stuff!” said I; “I’ve too much Welsh blood in me for that; but a pack
-of interlopers, like the rest of you, never know the real mettle of them
-that come of the soil; we’re as clear of the soil as the ore in the
-Llangollen mines, we Mortimers; we can do what we have to do, whatever
-it may be.”
-
-Mr. Cresswell cast up his eyebrows a little, and gave a kind of glance
-towards Sarah and her knitting. “Well, well, it isn’t bad ore, at all
-events,” he said, with a chuckle: “but, after all, I suppose the first
-squire was not dug out of Llewellyn cliff?”
-
-“It will be a vast deal more profitable to find out where the next
-squire is to come from,” said I; “we are old women both of us; I’d
-advise you to set things agoing without delay. What would happen, do you
-suppose, if Sarah and I were both to die without finding an heir? What
-does happen, by the bye, when such a thing occurs; does it go to the
-crown?”
-
-“My dear lady, I would not give much for the crown’s chance,” said
-Cresswell, with, a little shrug of his shoulders. “Heirs-at-law are
-never so far lost or mislaid but they turn up some time. Birds of the
-air carry the matter when there’s an estate in question. There’s nothing
-so safe to be found, in my humble opinion, as an heir-at-law.”
-
-“For I shouldn’t much mind,” said I to myself, thinking over it, “if it
-went to the Queen. She might fix on the park for autumn quarters, sure,
-as well as on that outlandish Scotch castle of hers. It’s a great deal
-nearer, and I make sure it’s prettier; or if she gave it to the Prince
-of Wales as a present, or to any of the other children, I should not
-mind for my part. It is not by any means so bad a prospect as I
-supposed--it might go to the Queen.”
-
-“But, then, what would be done with Mr. Richard Arkwright and his
-progeny? I’ll be bound he has ten children,” said Mr. Cresswell.
-“Somebody did leave Her Majesty an estate not so very long ago, and I
-rather think she sought out the heirs and made it up to them. Depend
-upon it, Mr. Richard Arkwright would have it out of her. Come, we must
-stick to the Mortimers, Miss Milly. I’ll go off and see after the
-advertisements; there’s plenty of time. I don’t believe you mean to be
-in any hurry out of this world, either Miss Sarah or you.”
-
-“That’s as it may be--that’s as God pleases,” said I; “but you must wait
-a little first, and I’ll see if I can find out anything further about
-him. Perhaps some one can think on; we’ll see, we’ll see; more may
-come.”
-
-Mr. Cresswell nodded his head confidentially. “You don’t remember
-anything about him yourself?” he said.
-
-“Bless you, I am ten years younger than she is,” said I; “she was a
-young lady, I was only a child. I neither knew nor cared anything about
-the Lancashire cousin. Ten years make a great deal of difference when
-people are young.”
-
-“And when they’re old as well,” said Cresswell, with a little nod of his
-head. Mr. Cresswell, of course, like all the other people, would never
-have looked at me when Sarah was present in old days; but now, when we
-were both old women, the sly old lawyer had wheeled about, and was
-rather an admirer of mine. I have had admirers since I was fifty; I
-never had many before.
-
-“Now, are you going to stay to tea?” said I.
-
-“Thank you. I have not the least doubt it would be for my own advantage;
-my cook is not to be named in the same breath with yours; but I promised
-to be home to dinner,” said Mr. Cresswell. “Thank you all the same; Sara
-will be waiting for me.”
-
-“And how is the dear child?” said I.
-
-“Very contrairy,” said Mr. Cresswell, shaking his head. “To tell the
-truth, I don’t know what to make of her. I had twenty minds to bring her
-to-day and leave her with you.”
-
-“Bring her next time. I never find her contrairy,” said I. “But perhaps
-_you_ never were young yourself?”
-
-“Perhaps not, Miss Milly,” he said. “I have had a pretty tough life,
-anyhow; and it is hard to be thwarted at the last by the only creature
-one has to love.”
-
-“It is harder not to have a single creature that one has a right to
-love,” said I a little sharply. “If we had your Sara belonging to us,
-contrairy or not, we should not have to hunt up a far-off cousin, or
-advertise for an heir.”
-
-A little passing gleam shot from the solicitor’s eye; he looked at me
-close for a moment, and then at Sarah, with a lip that moved slightly,
-as if he were unconsciously saying something within himself; I saw what
-it was as clear as daylight.
-
-“She’s a good girl,” he said, faltering a little. “I daresay you’d soon
-have her in hand, Miss Milly; there’s no place she is so fond of as the
-Park; I’ll bring her out to-morrow.”
-
-And he went away, never thinking that I had seen what was in his mind.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-Our drawing-room was a very large one. The Mortimers had required large
-rooms in their day; and I will not say, if we had been young people, and
-disposed to have company, that we could not have kept it up with any of
-them; for my father, who lived in a very homely way, proud as he was,
-had laid up a good deal, and so had we. But though we kept no company,
-we had not the heart to turn the Mortimer family, of which we were the
-only remaining representatives, out of their old room. So we had a great
-screen, made of stamped leather, and which was like everything else, of
-my grandmother’s days, stretched behind Sarah’s chair, and with a very
-large bright fire, and a good lamp upon the round table, we managed to
-find the fireside very comfortable, though we were surrounded by all the
-ranges of old furniture in the old half-dark room. Old Ellis had to come
-stumbling as slowly as if the distance had been half a mile between us
-and the door, when he came into the room with anything; and I dare say
-impatient young people could not have put up with the rumble of chairs
-rolled aside, and footstools tripped over, with which he always gave us
-warning of his coming. For my part I was used to it, and took no notice.
-Where I sat, the prospect before me was, first, Sarah in her easy chair,
-close within shade of the screen, and beyond a darkling stretch of
-space, which a stranger might have made very mysterious, but which I
-knew perfectly well to be filled with just so many tables, chairs,
-ottomans, and miscellaneous articles, not one of which could have been
-stolen away without being missed. On the other side of the room, behind
-my own chair, was a grand piano in a corner and another waste of old
-furniture. Many people wondered why we did not make a cosy little
-sitting-room of the boudoir, which had never been used since my mother’s
-days. But Sarah, and I may say myself also, was of a different way of
-thinking. We liked the big room which once had not been at all too big
-for the Mortimers, and I am not sure that I did not even like the dark
-bit on either side of us, and the two big old-fashioned mirrors, like
-magic mirrors in a fairy tale, with a faint trembling of light over
-them, and all the shadowy depths of the room standing out in them, as if
-to double the size, which was already so much too great. Sometimes I
-used to stand and watch myself going across one of those big mirrors. It
-was a strange weird creature wandering about among the still, silent,
-deserted household gods. It was not surely me.
-
-Not that I mean to represent myself as a sentimental person--not in the
-very slightest degree. I am past fifty and stout. My own opinion is that
-people had best be stout when they are past fifty, and I like my own
-little comforts as well as anybody of my years. When I was young I was
-far from being pretty. If I am to state frankly my own ideas on this
-subject, I would say that I think I might have passed for moderately
-good-looking, if I had not been sister to a beauty. But when we two were
-described as the beautiful Miss Mortimer and the plain Miss Mortimer,
-you may suppose how any little poor pretensions of mine were snubbed at
-once. To be good-looking was something not expected from Sarah’s sister.
-But however the tables have rather turned of late. If you asked little
-Sara Cresswell, for example, who was the pretty Miss Mortimer, I do
-believe the dear child would say, with the greatest of innocence, “Miss
-Milly.” At our time of life it doesn’t matter very much, to be sure; but
-dear, dear, vanity does lie deep! I declare honestly it’s a pleasure to
-me.
-
-When Sarah and I are by ourselves, we don’t have a great deal of
-conversation. She has lost her voice, as I said, which makes her decline
-talking: and I must say, though she never yields to acknowledge it, that
-I think she’s lost her hearing a little, poor dear old soul! Every night
-in her life (except Sundays) she reads the Times. That paper gets great
-abuse in many quarters, especially in the country, where our old
-Squires, to be sure, are always at it for changing its opinions; but I
-say, great success, and long life to the Times! that is my opinion. How
-ever Sarah would get over those long evenings without that paper, I
-don’t know. It quite keeps us in reading; and I do assure you, we know
-much more about most things that are going on than a great many _men_
-do, who are much more in the world. The Times comes in early, but Sarah
-never looks at it till after tea. I have to keep out of her sight,
-indeed, when I glance over it myself in the early part of the day, for
-Sarah does not approve of daylight reading. She thinks it a waste of
-time. We have not such a very great deal to occupy us either, as you may
-suppose; at least Sarah has little, except her knitting, for she will
-rarely allow me to consult her anything about the property, though she
-is the eldest. I wonder for my part that she does not weary of her life.
-She never comes down to breakfast, and I don’t know very well what she
-and Carson find to busy themselves about till noon in her room upstairs;
-but at twelve o’clock punctually she comes down all dressed for the day.
-She does not dress as I do, in the ordinary dress that everybody wears,
-neither are Sarah’s fashions the same as I remember in our youth, when
-our waists were just under our arms, and our gowns had “gores” in them.
-On the contrary, she has taken to a very long waist and tight sleeves,
-with a worked muslin shawl or scarf over her shoulders. In cold weather
-the muslin is lined with silk of delicate colours, and her cap, which is
-always light and pretty (Carson has great taste), trimmed to correspond.
-Her hair, of course, she _always_ wears in curls at the front. It is
-quite silver-white, and her face, poor dear soul, is a little pinched
-and sharp nowadays. When she takes her seat within shelter of the screen
-at twelve o’clock every day, the muslin shawl, lined with peach, is as
-pretty as possible in itself: to be sure Sara Cresswell might almost
-wear it to a ball; but I do declare I thought it looked very chilly
-to-day on Sarah. Nice white Shetland for instance, which is almost as
-pretty as lace, or, indeed, one of those beautiful soft fine woollen
-shawls, would look a great deal better over that purple silk gown, if
-she could only think so. But to be sure, Sarah will have her own way.
-There she sat knitting all the time Mr. Cresswell was talking with me,
-and there she does sit all day long with her basket of wools, and
-knitting-pins, and patterns. Every other day she takes a drive, goes to
-church once on Sundays, and reads the Times on all the week evenings.
-That is exactly how she lives.
-
-Now perhaps this does not appear so odd to anybody else as it does to
-me; and I am sure I might have got used to it after a dozen years; but
-only Sarah, you see, has very good abilities, and is not the person to
-fix herself down like this. And she knows a great deal more of life than
-I do. My father and she were, I think, near upon ten years abroad after
-my mother died. What she was doing all that time I know no more than
-Carson does. Many a rumour went about that she was married, and many an
-anxious hour I had all by myself at the Park. But when she came back
-just Miss Mortimer, there was not a soul in the county but was
-surprised. Such a great beauty! and papa’s eldest daughter and
-co-heiress! people said it was unaccountable. I can’t say _I_ thought it
-unaccountable. I never saw anybody that I could fancy myself, except
-perhaps----, and then _he_ never asked me, you know. It might be
-precisely the same with Sarah, though she was a beauty. But the wonder
-to me is that after having lived abroad so long, and having, as I have
-no doubt she had, a life of her own, which did not merely belong to my
-father’s daughter, she should just have settled down like this. Many and
-many a time have I thought it all over, sitting opposite to her of an
-evening, when tea was over and she was reading the Times. There she sat
-quite straight up, her muslin shawl with the peach-bottom lining
-dropping down a little over her shoulders, and her thin hands in their
-black lace mits holding the paper. She had never reposed any confidence
-in me, you see. _I_ did not know what might have happened to her when
-she was out upon the big waves of life. I dare say many a time when I
-wondered why she took no interest in my affairs, she was back upon that
-reserve of her own which I knew nothing about. But the odd thing to me
-is, that after having really had something that one could call a life,
-something happening to her own self,--don’t you know what I mean?--she
-should have settled down so fixed and motionless here.
-
-We dined early, which was a prejudice of mine; but as Sarah had a very
-uncertain appetite, we had always “something” to tea, which was the
-cause of Mr. Cresswell’s allusion to our cook Evans. Further, we
-indulged ourselves by having this substantial tea in the drawing-room,
-which we never left after our early dinner. When tea was over on the
-night of Mr. Cresswell’s visit, I had some little matters to do which
-kept me about the room, going from one place to another. As I stood in
-the shadow looking at the bright fire and lamp, and Sarah reading in her
-easy chair, I could not prevent a great many inquiries rising in my
-mind. What was Cousin Richard Arkwright Mortimer to her, for example? He
-had not been at the Park, nor heard of, so far as I know, for forty
-years. And then about her voice? On the whole it was very curious. I
-resolved to try hard for some conversation with Sarah, after she had
-done with the Times, that night.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-It was not a very easy matter to draw Sarah into a conversation,
-especially in the evening. I had to watch my opportunity very carefully.
-At ten exactly the door opened in the dark distance, and Ellis came
-rumbling along through the dim depths behind the screen with the sherry
-and biscuits. Just at the same moment Sarah smoothed out the paper
-carefully, laid it down, as she always did, on the top of her
-wool-basket, and held out her hands to warm them at the fire. They were
-very thin hands in their black lace mits, and they were a little
-rheumatic sometimes, though she did not like to confess it. She kept
-rubbing them slowly before the fire.
-
-I poured out her glass of sherry, put the plate of biscuits within her
-reach, and drew my chair nearer, that I might be sure of hearing what
-she said. Sarah took no notice of my movements; she rubbed diligently
-one of her forefingers, the joints of which were a little enlarged, and
-never so much as glanced at me.
-
-“Did you ever know anything about this cousin Richard of ours, Sarah?”
-said I.
-
-She did not answer just for a moment, but kept on rubbing her
-forefinger; when that was finished she answered, “I knew a good deal
-about him once. I would have married him if they had let me, in the old
-times.”
-
-I was so thunderstruck by this unexpected frankness that I scarcely knew
-what to say. At last I stumbled out somehow--“You would have married
-him!” with a kind of inexpressible amazement; and she saying it so
-calmly too!
-
-“Yes,” said Sarah, rubbing her middle finger thoughtfully, “he was
-young, and fresh-looking, and good-tempered. I dare say I could have
-liked him if they had let me; it is quite true.”
-
-“And would they not let you?” cried I, in my eagerness, thinking that
-perhaps Sarah was going to confide in me at last.
-
-“No,” she said, pursing up her lips. She seemed to echo the “no” after,
-in the little nod she gave her head, but she said nothing more.
-
-“And Sarah, tell me, please, if you don’t mind, was it because of his
-means?” cried I; “was he not rich enough?”
-
-“You don’t know anything about these affairs, Milly,” said Sarah, a
-little scornfully. “I don’t mind in the least. He was exactly such a man
-as would have taken your fancy. When I saw him, five years after, I was
-glad enough they did not let me; though it might have saved a deal of
-trouble too,” she said to herself in a kind of sigh.
-
-I don’t know how I managed to hear those last words. I am sure she did
-not think I heard them. You may suppose I grew more curious with every
-word she spoke.
-
-“And where was it you met him five years after; was it abroad?” said I,
-with a little flutter in my voice.
-
-I cannot think she was very sharp in her hearing. She gave a little
-glance up at me, noticing that I paused before the last word; and then
-seeing me look a little frightened and conscious, she drew herself up
-all at once, and stopped rubbing her fingers.
-
-“Do you mean to cross-question _me_, Milly?” she cried, giving a stamp
-with her foot. “Do you mean to rummage into my affairs and find me out
-by your questions? You are very much mistaken, I can tell you. I am just
-as willing as any one that Richard Mortimer should be found out. In
-making your new heir you shall have no opposition from me.”
-
-“Why, bless us all, Sarah!” said I, “it was your own idea.”
-
-“Very well,” she said, with a little confused heat of manner; “why do
-you imply that I have any objection? One would suppose, to hear you,
-that you were trying to find out some secrets of mine.”
-
-“I never knew you had any secrets to find out,” said I, sharply. I knew
-quite well I was aggravating her, but one must take one’s own part.
-
-She did not make any answer. She got up on her feet, and drew her muslin
-shawl round her. There was a little nervous tremble about her head and
-hands; she often had it, but I marked it more than ever to-night. I
-thought at first she was going away without her sherry, but she thought
-better of that. However, she went a few steps behind the screen to put
-her basket aside, a thing she never did; and I think I can see her now,
-as I saw her in the big mirror, drawing the fingers of one hand through
-the other, and gliding along through the dark room, all reflected from
-head to foot in the great glass, with her peach-blossom ribbons nodding
-tremulously over her grey hair, and her white muslin shawl drawn over
-her shoulders. Her face, as I saw it in the mirror, had a cloud and
-agitation upon it, but was set with a fixed smile upon the lips, and a
-strange, settled, passionate determination. I could no more penetrate
-what it meant than I could tell why Sarah was angry. It was something
-within herself that made her so, nothing that I had done or said.
-
-After she was gone I dropped into my chair, and sat there wondering and
-pondering till the fire had nearly gone out, and the great room was
-lying blank and chill in the darkness. Now that my thoughts were
-directed into this channel--and it was very strange to me that they
-never had been so before--there were a thousand things to think of. When
-Sarah was twenty and I only ten there was a wonderful difference to be
-sure between us, and not a great deal less when Sarah was thirty and I
-twenty; but from that time it had been growing less by degrees, so that
-we really did not feel nowadays any great difference in our age. But I
-was only fourteen when my mother died. I had never, of course, been able
-to share in any of the gaieties, being only in the schoolroom, and
-certainly never dreamed of criticising my big sister, whom I thought
-everything that was beautiful and splendid. Then my father and she went
-away and left me. The Park was let, and I lived with my godmother. I
-almost forgot that I had a father and sister in the world. They seldom
-wrote, and we lived entirely out of the world, and never heard even in
-gossip of the goings on at Rome and Naples, and what place the beautiful
-Miss Mortimer took there. They came home at last quite suddenly, in the
-depth of winter. Naturally Sarah had caught a very bad cold. She kept
-her own room for a very long time after and never saw anybody. Then she
-lost her voice. I remember I took it quite for granted at the time that
-it was her cold and the loss of her voice that made her shut herself
-up; but I must say that once or twice since I have had a little doubt on
-that subject. She was then not much past five-and-thirty, a very
-handsome woman. My father lived many years after, but they never, though
-they had been great companions for so long before, seemed to be at ease
-in each other’s presence. They never even sat down to dinner together
-when they could help it. Since then, to be sure, Sarah had begun to live
-more with me; but what a life it was! I had the concerns of the property
-to occupy me, and things to manage; besides, I was always out and about
-in the village and among the neighbours; and still more, I was quite a
-different woman from Sarah, more homely-like, and had never been out in
-the world. I wouldn’t for anything be what you might call suspicious of
-my own only sister; and what I _could_ be suspicious about, even if I
-wanted to, was more than I knew. Still it was odd, very odd, more
-particularly after Sarah’s strange words and look. My mind was all in a
-ferment--I could not tell what to think; but it came upon me as strong
-as a conviction that something _must_ have happened in those ten years;
-what it could be was as dark as midnight, but there must be something.
-That was the end I came to after all my pondering. Ellis came twice into
-the room to shut up, and twice stumbled off again with his “Beg pardon,
-ma’am.” It began to feel chilly as the fire went out, and the night grew
-pale and ghostly in the mirrors. By and by I began to hear those cracks
-and rustles which one always hears when one sits up late at night. It
-wasn’t in the furniture, bless you! I know a great deal better than
-that; the old walnut and satin-wood was all seasoned by a century’s
-wear. I don’t pretend to say what it was: but I know that I was made
-very uneasy sitting all by myself, with the fire out, in that big room.
-When it drew near twelve o’clock, I went to bed.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-I might as well, before all this description of our day’s talk and
-cogitations, have said first who we were.
-
-The Mortimers are an old Cheshire family. We came originally from the
-other side of the Dee; but we have been settled here in the Park since
-Henry the Seventh’s time, when to be sure Welshmen were in fashion. The
-old tower of Wyfod, over Llangollen way, was the cradle of our family.
-So we have not travelled very far from our origin. We have always been,
-since we came to the Cheshire side, tolerably prosperous and prudent,
-not mixing much with politics, having a pretty eye for a bargain, and
-letting other people get along in their own way; I say so quite frankly,
-not being ashamed of it. Once, I confess, I felt a little sore that we
-had no crusading knights nor wild cavaliers among our ancestors; but
-that, of course, was when I was young. Now I take a different view of
-affairs. Cavaliers and crusading knights have been generally very
-expensive luxuries for their families, and must have done a great deal
-more mischief than a man, however well disposed to it, could do at home.
-Another circumstance has been good for our purse, but not so good (I
-fear--so at least it threatens at the present moment) for the
-prolongation of the race. The Mortimers have never had large families. I
-suppose few English houses of our rank, or indeed of any rank, can count
-so few cousins and collateral branches. We have relations, certainly, by
-my mother’s side, who was one of the Stamfords of Lincolnshire; but
-except this visionary Richard Arkwright (did ever mortal hear of such a
-name for a Mortimer!), there is not a single individual remaining of our
-own name and blood to inherit the property after us, which is a very sad
-thing to say, and indeed, in some degree, a sort of disgrace to us. The
-family allowance of children for ever so long has been somewhat about
-one son and one daughter. The daughter has married off, as was natural,
-or died unmarried, as, indeed, for a Miss Mortimer, was more natural
-still; and the son has become the squire, and had a son and a daughter
-in his turn. In Queen Anne’s time, the then squire, whose name was
-Lewis, made an unfortunate divergence from the usual custom. He had two
-girls only; but one of them married, and her husband took our name and
-arms; the other died very opportunely, and left her sister in full
-possession, so no harm was done. It is, however, a saying in the family,
-that the Mortimers are to end in two sisters, and that after them the
-property is to be divided and alienated from the name. This is one
-reason why I never was much of a favourite at home. They forgave Sarah,
-for she was beautiful, and just the person to be an heiress. But
-co-heiresses are the bugbear of the Mortimers. Ah me! If there had been
-no such saying as this, or if we had been poor girls, it might have made
-a difference! Not in me, to be sure; I need not be sentimental about it.
-I never saw an individual in this world I could have fancied but one,
-and he, you know, never asked me; so it could not have made the
-slightest difference to me.
-
-However, if there’s one thing more than another that my heart is set to
-resist, it is letting this prophecy be fulfilled in our time. I’d rather
-compass sea and land to find a Mortimer! I’d rather set out, old as I
-am, and hunt for one with a lantern through the world! Sarah, though she
-is so capricious and contrary, is of the same mind. It was she who told
-me of this Mr. Richard Arkwright, whom I had forgotten all about. And
-yet, you see, after showing such decided interest, she turns upon one
-so! What a very odd thing it is that she did not marry! I never could
-make it out, for my part. Nobody could imagine, to see her now, how very
-pretty, nay, how beautiful she was; and such a way with her! and
-dressed, to be sure, like a duchess. All the young men in the county
-were after her before she went abroad. But dear, dear! to think what a
-changed life when she came home, and lost her voice, and shut herself up
-in her own room.
-
-There is nothing I dislike more than curiosity, or prying, or
-suspiciousness; but I _should_ like to know the rights of it--how Sarah
-went on abroad. To be sure my father was anxious enough that _she_
-should get married, and have a good humble-minded husband, who would
-take the name of Mortimer. It was only me that he would not hear of any
-proposal for. I don’t think he would have broken his heart if, like the
-Milly Mortimer in Queen Anne’s time, I had been so obliging as to die.
-
-However, here we are, just as we were in the nursery, two Miss
-Mortimers. Sarah, who might have had half a dozen good marriages, just
-the same as I am; and I protest I don’t even know that there are two
-people existing in the world who have the smallest collateral right to
-divide the property and take it away from the name; unless Richard
-Arkwright should happen to have co-heiresses! married to husbands who
-will not change to Mortimer! Don’t let me think of such a horror!
-
-These are our circumstances in the meantime. It is a very sad thing for
-a family when there are no collateral branches. I forgot to say that how
-this Richard Arkwright came about, was by the strange accident of Squire
-George, who died in 1713, having _two sons_!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-During all this time--and indeed, after all, it was only a single day--I
-had forgotten all about Mr. Cresswell and his Sara. He and his family
-had been our family’s solicitors for a great many generations. He knew
-all our secrets that we knew ourselves. It is only about twenty years
-since he succeeded his father in the business, and married that pretty
-delicate young creature, the clergyman’s daughter of St. John’s. She
-died very early, poor thing, as was to be expected, and Sara is his only
-child. But, of course, he does not know any more than a baby how to
-manage a pretty fantastical young girl. They are a very respectable,
-substantial family in their way, and have been settled in their house in
-Chester for a very long time--though, of course, it would be absurd to
-call a family of solicitors an _old_ family--and Mr. Cresswell is very
-well off in the world, and can give a very pretty fortune to his
-daughter; yet the covetous old fox has actually a fancy in his mind--_I_
-could see it when he was last here--that if Sara only played her cards
-well she might be heiress of the Park, and succeed Sarah and me. An
-attorney’s daughter! Not that I mean to put a slight upon Sara, who is
-our godchild, and a very sweet, pretty girl. But to fancy that old
-Cresswell could take up such an idea, and _I_ not find him out! It is
-odd, really, how the cleverest of men deceive themselves. He will take
-every means to find out Richard Mortimer all the same. He’ll not fail of
-his duty, however things may turn out, I know that; but to think at the
-very bottom of his sly old heart that he should have a hankering after
-the Park! It is quite inconceivable what fancies will take hold of men.
-
-Sara is our godchild, as I said, called Sara Millicent, in token of the
-kindness that poor Mrs. Cresswell, poor young motherless creature,
-thought she had received from us. Poor little soul! she little thought
-then, that the baby she was so proud of, was the only one she was to be
-spared to bring into the world. From that time till now Sara has been a
-pet at the Park, and always free to come to us when she wished, or when
-her father thought it would do her good. This was how she was coming
-to-day. Perhaps it might be imagined by some people rather a bold thing
-of one’s family solicitor to bring his daughter to us without an
-invitation. But you see we were only ladies, and did not stand on our
-dignity as people do when there are men in the house; and, besides, she
-was our pet and godchild, which makes all the difference.
-
-Just before dinner, Mr. Cresswell’s one-horse chaise came into the
-courtyard. We never use the great door except for great people, and when
-Sarah goes out for her airings. I always use the court entrance, which
-is much handier, especially in winter, and when there is no fire in the
-great hall. I really see no use, except on occasions, for a fire in that
-great hall. It looks miserable, I dare say, but then the coal it
-consumes is enormous--enough to keep three families in the village
-comfortably warmed--and _we_ keep no lackeys to lounge about there, and
-be in the way. A good respectable family servant, like Ellis, with
-plenty of maids, is much more to my taste than those great saucy
-fellows, who have not the heart of a mouse. But this is quite apart from
-what I was saying. Sarah had come down just the same as ever, except
-that she had her brown gown on,--she wears a different gown every day in
-the week,--and her muslin shawl lined with blue, and of course blue
-ribbons in her cap to correspond. Carson, after all, is really a
-wonderful milliner. She seemed to have forgotten, or at least passed
-over, our little quarrel, for she spoke just the same as usual, and
-said, as she always does, that she hoped that I would not forget to
-order the carriage for her drive. I have given over being nettled about
-this. She says it regularly, poor dear soul, every other day.
-
-“And little Sara is coming to-day,” said I. “You’ll take her for
-company, won’t you? It will do the child good.”
-
-“Do her good! why, Cresswell has a carriage!” said Sarah in her whisper;
-“beggars will ride before all’s done.”
-
-“But he’s nothing of a beggar, quite the reverse; he’s very well-to-do,
-indeed,” said I. “I think he has a very good right to a one-horse
-chaise.”
-
-“Ah, to be sure, that makes all the difference,” said Sarah in her sharp
-way, “I forgot it was but one horse.”
-
-Now her voice, which is rather pleasant when she’s kind, gets a sort of
-hiss in it when she’s spiteful, and the sound of that “horse,” though I
-wouldn’t for the world say any harm of my sister, drew out all the
-hoarseness and unpleasant sound in the strangest way possible. I was
-quite glad to hear at that moment the wheels in the courtyard.
-
-“There is little Sara,” said I, and went off to fetch her in, very glad
-to get off, it must be confessed; but glad also, to be sure, to see my
-little pet, who had always taken so kindly to me. Before I could get to
-the door which Ellis was holding open, the dear child herself came
-rushing upon me, fairly driving me a few steps back, and taking away my
-breath. “You’re not to come into the draught, godmamma. It’s so cold,
-oh, it’s so cold! I thought my nose would be off,” cried Sara’s voice
-close to my ear. She was talking and kissing me at the same moment, and
-after the start she had given me, you may suppose, I did not pick up
-exactly every word she said. But that was the substance of it, to be
-sure.
-
-“Why didn’t you wear a veil? You ought to wear a veil, child. We were
-all supposed to have complexions when I was young,” said I. “Don’t you
-have any complexions, now, you little girls?”
-
-“Oh, godmamma! I don’t expect ever to hear you talking nonsense,” said
-Sara severely. “What’s the good of our complexions? We can’t do anything
-with them that I ever heard of. Come in from the draught, please, for
-the sake of your dear old nose.”
-
-“You are the rudest little girl I ever knew in my life. Go in, child, go
-in, and see your godmamma,” said I. “How ever do you manage that girl,
-Mr. Cresswell? Does she think I don’t know all the draughts in my own
-house?”
-
-“Ah, my dear lady, she’s contrairy. I told you so--she always was and
-ever will be,” said Mr. Cresswell, putting down his hat with a sigh.
-Dear, dear! the poor man certainly had his troubles with that little
-puss. Manage her, indeed! when, to be sure, as was natural, she made him
-do exactly just as she pleased.
-
-When we went in after her, he and I, there she was, to be sure, kneeling
-down on Sarah’s footstool, trying all she could to put my sister’s
-curls out of order with kissing her. If any one else had dared to do it!
-But Sara, who never since she was a baby feared any creature, had her
-way with her godmother as well as with all the rest of us. There’s a
-great deal in never being afraid.
-
-“Now, go up-stairs, and take off your bonnet, there’s a good child;
-there’s a fire in your room to warm it for puss in velvet. Go, and come
-down smooth and nice as your godmamma loves to see you. Dinner will be
-ready presently, and you must be nice for dinner. There, there, don’t
-talk any more, Sara, go and smooth your hair.”
-
-“Oh yes, certainly, and then you’ll see what’s happened!” cried Sara,
-and frisked off out of the room like a little puss as she was.
-
-I dare say the dear child expected nothing less than a great curiosity
-on my part about what had happened. Poor dear little kitten! she forgot
-that these little secrets were not such great matters to me. When she
-was gone we did not say a syllable about Sara; but her good father began
-to pull about the things on one of the tables behind the screen, and
-made signs to me with his eyebrows to come and talk to him. When I
-passed over that way he said quite softly, “Anything more?”
-
-“Not a word,” said I; for, to be sure, that about Sarah marrying if they
-would have let her was private, and even the family solicitor had
-nothing to do with it, though, I dare say if the truth were known, he
-knew all about it better than I did. “Not a word; only, I suppose, I
-should say he must be about her own age.”
-
-Mr. Cresswell glanced up at me, gave a short little smile, a nod of his
-head, and a shrug of his shoulders, and understood all about it as if I
-had told him.
-
-“Was in love with her once, of course--thought so!” he said in his
-undertone: “you ladies, for one good thing, do think on when we’ve made
-fools of ourselves about you. It’s always our compensation.”
-
-“We think on after you’ve forgotten all about it--that’s what you mean,”
-said I.
-
-Mr. Cresswell gave another little shrug with his shoulders, and glanced
-at the screen behind which Sarah was knitting. “How lovely she was once,
-to be sure!” he said with a little sigh, and then laughed out at
-himself, not without a little redness in his face. To speak of a blush
-in a man of his years would be simply absurd, you know. Such a piece of
-presumption! I do believe Bob Cresswell had taken it upon him to fall
-in love with Sarah too in his young days. I could have boxed his ears
-for him; and to think he should have the audacity to laugh at himself
-now!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-This conversation of ours, if it could be called a conversation, was
-luckily interrupted by the entrance of little Sara, who came into the
-room, lightfooted and noiseless, as such creatures can when they are
-young. She had on a velvet jacket, over a thick-corded blue silk dress.
-She must have spent quite a fortune in dress, the little saucy puss.
-What startled me, however, was her hair. She had a beautiful head of
-hair, and wore it of course in the fashion, as all young girls ought.
-Some people were so misguided as to call Sara Cresswell
-dark-complexioned. They meant she had very dark hair, eyebrows, and
-eyelashes. As for her skin, it was as pure as Sarah’s, who had always
-been a blonde beauty. But with all the mass of hair she had, when she
-chose to spread it out and display it, and with her black eyes and small
-face, I don’t wonder people thought the little witch dark. However, all
-that was done away _now_. There she stood before me, laughing, and
-making her curtsey, with short little curls, like a child’s, scarcely
-long enough to reach to her collar--all her splendid hair gone--a
-regular crop! I screamed out, as may be supposed; I declare I could have
-whipped her with the very best will in the world. The provoking, wicked
-little creature! no wonder her poor father called her contrairy. Dear,
-dear, to think what odd arrangements there are in this world! _I_ should
-have brought her under some sort of authority, I promise you; but
-really, not meaning to be profane, one was really tempted to say to
-one’s self, what _could_ Providence be thinking of to give such a child
-to poor old Bob Cresswell, who knew no more how to manage her than I
-know how to steer a boat?
-
-“I declare I think you are very wicked,” I said when I gained my breath;
-“I do believe, Sara, you take a delight in vexing your friends. For all
-the world what good could it do to cut off your hair? Don’t speak to me,
-child! I declare I am so vexed and provoked and angry, I could cry!”
-
-“Don’t cry, godmamma,” said Sara quite coolly, “or I’ll have it made up
-into a wig; you can’t fancy how nice it is now. Besides, what was the
-good of such a lot of hair? Don’t you know that’s what gives people
-headaches? I thought I had better be wise in time.”
-
-“You little storyteller!” cried I, “you never had a headache in your
-life.”
-
-“Ah, but prevention is better than cure,” said the wicked little
-creature with her very demurest look.
-
-“Dinner, Ma’am,” said Ellis at the door. It was just as well for Sara.
-But I had a great mind to pinch her, as Mr. Thackeray says the ladies
-do, when we went together to the dining-room. I am sure she deserved it.
-However, she did not escape a little pinch which touched her, brave as
-she was. Sarah, I suppose, had not taken the trouble to look at her till
-we were all seated at table. Then she looked up, quite ignorant of what
-had happened. Sarah did not start like me, nor scream out; but she
-looked at little Sara quite composedly, leaning forward to see her all
-round. When she had quite done, she folded her hands upon her napkin,
-and smiled. “What a shocking fright you have made of yourself, my dear
-child,” said Sarah with the most amiable look in the world. Little Sara
-coloured up in a moment, grew red and furious like a little vixen, and
-had something angry and wicked on the very tip of her tongue, which
-however, bold as she was, she dared not say. Mr. Cresswell ventured to
-give a little mutter and chuckle of a laugh, and how the little witch
-did look at him! But as for me, though I was glad to have her punished,
-I could not find in my heart to hear anything said against her without
-standing up in her defence.
-
-“Well, of course, I am very angry,” said I; “but I can’t say I agree
-with your godmamma either--it’s pretty enough for that matter.”
-
-“Oh, please, don’t take any trouble about my feelings. I never meant it
-to be pretty,” said little Sara, quite furious.
-
-“Nice hair is very much in a dark person’s favour. It helps the
-complexion and harmonises,” said Sarah, who kept always looking at the
-child in her smiling aggravating way. “People will soon notice the want
-of it in you, my dear. They will say you are very much gone off in your
-looks. It’s a pity you were so rash. It does make you a sad fright,
-whatever Milly says.”
-
-Now, only imagine how little Sara was to bear all this, spoken just in
-Sarah’s whisper, which made everybody, even Ellis, who was waiting,
-listen close to hear what she said. It was very seldom she said so many
-words in one day, not to say at one speaking. She began to eat her soup
-when she had done her pleasant remarks. And surely I never did remark
-before how odd the s’s sounded in her poor lost voice. Somehow they
-seemed to go hissing round the table, as if every word had an s in it.
-It was a round table, and not very large. Sarah never would do any
-carving, and I got tired of always doing it. So Ellis managed for us now
-on the sideboard, knowing foreign ways a little, and a small table
-suited us best.
-
-“Ah, my dear lady, I wish you’d take her in hand,” said Mr. Cresswell
-(dear, dear! it is inconceivable how injudicious some people are!);
-“she’s too many for me.”
-
-“My opinion is,” said I, breaking in as well as I could, seeing that
-poor little Sara must come to an explosion if they kept it up, “that
-when a gentleman comes to visit two single ladies, he should let us know
-what’s going on in the world. Have you never a new curate at St. John’s
-to tell us of, and are all the officers just exactly as they used to be?
-You may all be very superior, you wise people. But I do love gossip, I
-am free to acknowledge. I heard your rector preached in his surplice
-last Sunday. How did you Evangelicals take that, Mr. Cresswell, eh? For
-my part, I can’t see where’s the harm in a surplice as you Low Church
-people do.”
-
-“You and I will never agree in that, Miss Milly,” said Mr. Cresswell;
-“though, indeed, if Dr. Roberts came into the pulpit in white, I’ve my
-own idea as to how you’d take it. However, not to speak of surplices,
-the red-coats are going, I hear. We’re to have a change. The Chestnuts
-are coming up from Scotland, and our men are ordered to the West Indies.
-The Colonel doesn’t like it a bit. It’s better for him in one way, but
-he’s getting to like a steady friendly little society, and not to care
-for moving. He’s getting up in years, like the rest of us, is the
-Colonel. This will tell on him, you’ll see.”
-
-“Well, to be sure, when a man’s old, he ought to retire,” said I; “there
-are always plenty to take his place.”
-
-“Ah, it’s easy to talk,” said Mr. Cresswell. “It’s all very well for us
-to retire that have made money; but a man that has only his pay, what
-is he to do? He has got that poor little widow-daughter of his to keep,
-and Fred is very unsettled, I’m afraid, and little comfort to his
-father. There’s a deal of difference, Miss Milly, between full-pay and
-half-pay. He’d have to cut down his living one half if he retired.”
-
-“That’s just exactly what I quarrel with in these grand times of ours,”
-said I; “what’s the harm of cutting down one’s living one half? My own
-opinion is, I’d respect a man very much that did it. Great people can do
-it somehow. I wish you luxurious middle-class people would learn the
-way. But then you don’t stand by each other when you fall into poverty.
-You drop your friend when he can’t ask you to dinner. You are good to
-his children, and patronise them, and forget they were just the same as
-yours a little while ago. I don’t think we’ll ever come to any good in
-this country till we get back to knowing how to be poor.”
-
-“My dear lady, England never was in such splendid condition,” said Mr.
-Cresswell, with a smile at my ignorance. “If we’ve forgotten how to
-save, we’ve learned how to grow rich.”
-
-“I know all about England,” said I; “we read the Times; don’t you tell
-me. I’m anything but easy about England. Making money is no substitute
-in the world for saving it. I tell you, the world won’t be what I call
-right till a gentleman may be as poor as God pleases, without being
-ashamed of it; and have the heart to cut down his living one-half too.”
-
-“Well, well Miss Milly, ladies are always optimists,” said Mr.
-Cresswell; “but I shouldn’t like to be poor myself, nor see Sara tried
-with economics. _She_ don’t understand anything about them, that’s
-sure.”
-
-“The more’s the pity. What if she should marry a poor man?” said I.
-
-“She _shan’t_ marry a poor man, my dear lady,” said Mr. Cresswell.
-
-Upon which Sara lighted up. I knew she would. The dear child would do
-anything out of contradiction.
-
-“Rather a poor one than a rich one, papa,” cried Sara, with a little
-start of opposition. “Godmamma is always quite right. It’s shocking how
-everybody worships rich people. If we were to live in a little cottage,
-now, and make a dozen poor people comfortable! instead of always living
-in that dull old house, and having the same chairs and tables, and
-looking at exactly the same things every day. Godmamma! I do so want my
-room fresh papered. I know every tint of that pattern, till it makes me
-quite ill to look at it. Wouldn’t it be a thousand times more reasonable
-and like a Christian, if papa would stop giving stupid dinners, and
-taking me to stupid parties, and divide all his money with, say, a dozen
-poor families, and live in a sweet country cottage? It isn’t enough for
-us, you know, to make us great people. But it would be quite enough to
-give us all plenty to live upon, the dozen others and ourselves as well.
-Don’t you think it would be a great deal more like what a man should do,
-than keeping all one’s money to one’s self, like papa?”
-
-Little Sara grew quite earnest, and her eyes sparkled as she spoke. Her
-father laughed inwardly under his breath, and thought it just one of her
-vagaries. She divide all her money with her neighbours, the extravagant
-little puss in velvet! But don’t suppose Sara was shamming. She was as
-thoughtless and as prodigal as ever a child was who knew no better. But
-for all that, she could have done it. She could have found out how to do
-it. She meant what she said.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-“But you are a very foolish, thoughtless, provoking little puss; there
-can’t be any mistake about it,” said I.
-
-“Nothing of the sort, godmamma,” said Sara, “such a quantity of time was
-always taken up with that hair of mine; it had to be brushed out at
-night, however sleepy I was, and it had to be done I don’t know how many
-times a day. Think of wasting hours of one’s time upon one’s hair!”
-
-“But, my dear child, you have too much time on your hands. Do you ever
-do anything in the world, you velvet kitten,” said I.
-
-“If it was anybody else but you, I should be angry, godmamma,” said
-Sara; “but, indeed, I have tried a quantity of things. As for working,
-you know I _won’t_ work--I tell everybody so plainly. What’s the good
-of it? I hate crochet and cushions and footstools. If I had some little
-children to keep all tidy, there would be some good in it; or if papa
-was poor I might mend his stockings--but I won’t work now, whatever
-anybody says.”
-
-“I don’t see any reason why you should not keep some little children
-tidy, or mend papa’s stockings either, if you would like it,” said I.
-
-“If I would _like_ it!” cried Sara, in high wrath and indignation, “as
-if that was why I should do it! I don’t think there can be anything more
-dreadful in life than always having to do just what one likes. Now, look
-here, godmamma; suppose I was to mend papa’s stockings because I liked
-it,--oh, how Mary would giggle and laugh and rejoice over me! She _has_
-to do it, and doesn’t like it a bit, you may be sure. And suppose I were
-making frocks for poor children, like the Dorcas society, wouldn’t all
-the sensible people be on me to say how very much better it would be to
-have poor women make them and pay them for their work? I could only do
-what it’s other people’s business to do. I have got no business. The
-best thing wanted of me is just to sit idle from morning to night and
-read novels; and nobody understands me either, not even my dear old
-godmamma, which is hardest of all.”
-
-“But, Sara, if you chose, you could do _good_; the best thing of all to
-do--you could----”
-
-“Oh stop, stop, godmamma! I can’t do good. I don’t want to do good. I
-hate going about and talking to people; and besides, they are all, every
-one of them,” said Sara, with tears, half of vexation and half of
-sorrow, sparkling in her eyes, “a great deal better than me.”
-
-I had not a single word to say against this; for indeed, though I said
-it, because of course it was the right thing to say, I can’t undertake,
-upon my honour, that I thought a spoiled child like Sara Cresswell was
-the kind of creature to be much comfort to poor men or poor women
-labouring hard in the sorrows of this life.
-
-“I went once with Miss Fielding from the Rectory. There was one house,”
-said Sara, speaking low and getting red, “where they hadn’t so much to
-live on for the whole year through as papa had to pay for my
-dressmaker’s bill. He had just been worrying me about it that morning,
-so I remember. But they weren’t miserable! no more than you are,
-godmamma! not one half, nor a quarter, nor a hundredth part so miserable
-as I am! And the woman looked so cheerful and _right_ with the baby in
-her arms, and all the cleaning to do--I cried and ran off home when I
-got out of that house. I was ashamed, just dead ashamed, godmamma, and
-nothing else.--Doing good!--oh!--I think if I were the little girl,
-coming in to hold the baby, and help to clean, I might get some good
-myself. But then nobody will understand me whatever I say. I don’t want
-to invent things to ‘employ my time.’ Employing one’s time is about as
-bad as improving one’s mind. I want to have something _real_ to do,
-something that _has_ to be done and nobody but me to do it; and I don’t
-mind in the least whether I should like it or not.”
-
-“Well, dear,” said I, “you’re not nineteen yet; plenty of time. I dare
-say you’ll have your hard work some day or other, and won’t like it any
-more than the rest of us. Have patience, it will all come in time.”
-
-“Then, I suppose,” said Sara, with a little toss of her provoking little
-head, “I had better just go to sleep till that time comes.”
-
-“Well, my love, papa would save a good deal, no doubt, if there were no
-dressmaker’s bills. You inconsistent little witch! Here you tell me how
-disgusted you are with being a rich man’s daughter and having nothing to
-do, yet you cut off your hair to save time, and go on quite composedly
-spending as much as would keep a poor family--and more than one poor
-family, I suspect--on your dressmaker’s bill. Little Sara, what do you
-mean?”
-
-“The two things have no connection,” said Sara, tossing her head again;
-“I never pretended that I wanted to save papa’s money. What’s the good
-of it? I like pretty things to wear, and I don’t care the very least in
-the world how much money papa has in the bank, or wherever he keeps it.
-He told me once it was my own means I was wasting, for, of course, it
-would be all mine when he died,” she went on, her eyes twinkling with
-proud tears and wounded feeling; “as if _that_ made any difference! But
-I’ll tell you what, godmamma. If he was to portion out all the money to
-ourselves and so many other people, just enough to live upon, you’d see
-how happy I should be in muslin frocks. I know I should! and keep
-everything so snug and nice at home.”
-
-“Oh, you deluded little child!” said I; “don’t you know there’s ever so
-much _nasty_ work to do, before everything can be nice as we always have
-it? Should you like to be a housemaid with your little velvet paws, you
-foolish little kitten? You don’t know what you’re saying.”
-
-“But I do, though--and I could scratch too,” said the wild little puss,
-with a glance out of her black eyes which confounded me. I thought the
-child had gone out of her wits altogether. No wonder her poor father
-called her contrairy, poor hapless man.
-
-This conversation took place after dinner, when we two went back to the
-drawing-room. Mr. Cresswell had returned to Chester in his brougham, and
-Sarah had gone out all by herself for her drive. Perhaps little Sara,
-after being so aggravated at dinner, would not have gone with my sister
-even had she been asked; but her godmamma did not ask her. Dear, dear,
-what a very strange world this is! Poor Sarah chose to go out alone,
-driving drearily through the winterly trees and hedges; she chose always
-to turn aside from the village, which might have been a little cheerful,
-and she never dreamt of calling anywhere, poor soul! I have lived a
-quiet life enough, but I could not get on without a smile here and a
-word there, and the sight of my fellow-creatures at least. However, I
-have no call to censure neighbours, much less my sister. This is how
-Sara Cresswell and I had time for our long conversation. I broke it off
-short now, thinking it was about time for Sarah to come in.
-
-“Now little Sara,” said I, “we’ll drop the question what you’re to do as
-a general question just now; but your godmamma will be in directly. What
-shall you do while you’re here? Should you like to come and set my
-papers straight? It’s nice, tiresome, sickening work. It always gives me
-a headache, but I can’t trust a servant to do it. I think it’s the very
-work for you.”
-
-“But, dear godmamma, here’s a novel,” said Sara, who was sunk deep in an
-easy-chair, and had not the very slightest intention of obeying me,
-“just the very one I wanted, and I see by the first chapter that Emily
-is my own very favourite heroine. I’ll do it to-morrow,
-please--to-morrow morning, not to-day.”
-
-“But it must be done to-day.”
-
-“Oh, _must_! why _must_? You have only to do what you please--you are
-not obliged to keep time like a dressmaker or a clerk,” said Sara,
-reading all the while.
-
-“Oh, you child!” said I; “suppose papa’s dinner was waiting, or his
-stockings to mend, would you let them stand till you had finished your
-novel? Oh, you deluded little thing, is that the good workwoman you
-would be?”
-
-Before I had finished speaking Sara had started like a little sprite
-out of her chair, tossed the novel into the corner of a distant sofa,
-and went off like the wind to the library, where I did my business and
-kept my papers. I had to hurry after her as quickly as I could. A pretty
-job she would have made of it, had she done it alone!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-If there is one thing I dislike more than another, it is the housemaid,
-or even Ellis, meddling with my papers. I don’t scold a great deal, in a
-general way, but I will allow that I don’t spare any of them when they
-flutter my accounts and receipts about in setting things to rights. So
-in the course of nature the things get dusty; and I quite expected to
-see poor little Sara grow pale and give in before she was half through
-the year’s accounts. But nobody knows the spirit that is in that child.
-After she had once roused herself to do it, she held at it without an
-idea of yielding. I saw her look now and again at her little toys of
-hands, but I took no notice; and on she went at the papers manfully,
-putting them in as regular order as I could have done myself. It was not
-such a very important business after all, but still it’s a comfort to
-see a person set to anything with a will, especially a little spoilt
-wilful creature that never had anything to do but her own pleasure all
-her life.
-
-Nearly an hour after we had come into the library somebody came with a
-gentle knock to the door; thinking it was Ellis, I said, “Come in,”
-without looking up, waiting for him to speak. But while I sat quietly
-going on with my business, with Sara close by rustling her papers, I was
-quite startled and shaken all at once to hear a voice close by me which
-I did not hear half a dozen times in a twelvemonth, the voice of Carson,
-Sarah’s maid.
-
-“Bless me, what’s the matter?” I said, looking up at the sound, being
-really too much startled to notice what she said.
-
-“Nothing, I hope, ma’am,” said Carson, who was very precise and
-particular. “But my missis is not come in, ma’am, from her drive, and I
-thought I’d make bold to ask if she was going anywhere as I didn’t
-know?”
-
-“Sarah not come back from her drive?” said I, looking at my watch; “why,
-we’ve had lights this half hour, Carson; it’s getting towards five
-o’clock.”
-
-“Yes, ma’am,” said Carson, briefly, not allowing for my surprise, “that
-is just what I said.”
-
-This pulled me up a little, as you may suppose; but I was seriously put
-out about Sarah, when I really saw how the matter stood.
-
-“I know nothing about where she was going. Dear, dear, can anything have
-happened?” I cried, getting a little flustered and anxious; then I
-jumped up, as was natural, and looked out at the window; though of
-course nothing was to be seen there but the shrubbery and a corner of
-the flower-garden. “But I can’t think what _could_ have happened either.
-The horses are very steady, and Jacob is care itself; besides, we’d have
-heard directly if anything had gone wrong. No, no, there can’t have been
-any accident. My sister was just in her usual, Carson, eh?”
-
-“Just in her usual ma’am,” said Carson, like an echo of my voice.
-
-“Then, dear, what can be the matter? it’s only some accident, of
-course,” said I; “I don’t mean accident, only some chance turn out of
-the way, or something. Bless me, to think of Sarah out after nightfall!
-Why don’t you run out to the road and look for the carriage? Call some
-of the people about. Ring the bell, child, can’t you?--or no, sit still,
-Sara. I’ll take a peep out at the great gate myself.”
-
-Saying which, I hurried past Carson, brushing against her, as she did
-not keep out of my way, and snatched a cloak out of the hall, and ran to
-the gate. It was only twilight out of doors, though we had our lamp
-lighted. A nice night, grey, a little frosty, but rather pleasant, with
-the lights twinkling out of the windows. I said to myself, “Nothing I
-should like better than a brisk walk down to the village; but Sarah, you
-know--Sarah’s different.” What could keep her out so late? I can’t say I
-was alarmed, but I did get a little uneasy, especially as I saw Ellis
-making his way up one road from the gate of the courtyard, and the
-houseboy running down another. It was Carson’s doings, no doubt; well,
-well! I ought to be thankful my sister had a maid that was so fond of
-her; but taking things out of my hands in this way, not only made me
-angry, as was natural, but flurried me as well.
-
-As I stood there, however, watching, and thinking I surely heard a sound
-of wheels somewhere in the distance, somebody went past me very
-suddenly. I could not see where he sprang from, he appeared in such a
-sudden unexplainable way. I got quite a fright, and, except that he was
-a gentleman, and probably a young one, I could tell nothing more about
-the figure that shot across my eyes. Very odd; could he have been hiding
-in the bushes? What could he want? Who could it be? I certainly hear the
-carriage now, and there comes the houseboy up the road waving his arms
-about; but instead of looking for my sister, I looked after this figure
-that had passed me. It passed Ellis too, and looked in his face, making
-him start, as it appeared to me, and so went straight on, till the road
-turned and I could see it no longer. I felt quite as if I had met with
-an adventure. Could it be some lover of little Sara’s that had followed
-her out here?--or, dear, dear! could it have anything to do with
-delaying Sarah’s drive? Just then the carriage came in sight, and I ran
-back to the house-door to receive my sister and ask what had detained
-her. She stepped out of the carriage, looking paler than her ordinary,
-and with that nervous shake in her hands and head, and looked as if she
-could quite have clutched hold of Carson, who of course was there to
-receive her.
-
-“Sarah,” cried I, “what in all the world has kept you so long? We were
-at our wits’ end, thinking something had happened.”
-
-“You’ll be glad to see nothing has happened,” said Sarah, in her
-whisper, trying hard to be quite composed and like herself as she took
-hold of Carson’s arm. “The beauty of the evening, you know, drew me a
-little further than I generally go.”
-
-This she said looking into my face, nay, into my eyes all the time, as
-if to defy any suspicions or doubt I might have. Her very determination
-to show that there was no other reason, made it quite evident that there
-had been something, whatever it was.
-
-I said nothing of course. I had not the least idea what my own
-suspicions pointed at, nor what they were. So it was not likely I should
-make any scene, or put it into the servants’ heads to wonder. So I stood
-still and asked no more questions, while Sarah passed before me, leaning
-on Carson’s arm, to go upstairs. It was the most simple and reasonable
-thing in the world; why should she not have gone further than she
-intended one night in her life? But she did not, that is all.
-
-When I went back to the library, little Sara, extraordinary to relate,
-was sitting exactly where I left her, busy about the papers. The wilful
-creature did not seem to have moved during my absence. She was as busy
-and absorbed as if there was nothing else to do or think of in the
-world. And while we had been all of a flutter looking for Sarah, she,
-sitting quiet and undisturbed, had got the greater part of her work
-finished.
-
-“Sara, you unfeeling child,” said I, “were you not anxious about your
-godmamma?”
-
-“No,” said Sara, very simply. “Godmamma Sarah, and coachman Jacob, and
-those two fat old horses could surely all take care of each other. I
-wasn’t frightened, godmamma. I never heard of any accidents happening to
-big old stout carriages and horses like yours. I’ve nearly got my work
-done while you’ve been away.”
-
-This was all the sympathy I got from little Sara. Of course I could no
-more have told her the puzzle my mind was in than I could have told the
-servants; but still, you know, an intelligent young person might have
-guessed by my looks and been a little sympathetic;--though to be sure
-there is no use pretending with one’s self. I do believe I liked Sara
-twenty times better for taking no notice;--and then, how cleverly the
-little kitten had got through her work!
-
-We saw nothing more of Sarah that night. When it was time for tea,
-Carson came down again with missus’s compliments, and she was tired with
-her long drive, and would have tea in her own room. I said nothing at
-all, but handed her the Times. I don’t doubt Sarah had her tea very snug
-in her nice cosy dressing-room, with Carson purring round her and
-watching every move she made. I never could manage that sort of thing
-for my part. Little Sara and I, however, though her godmamma deserted
-us, were very comfortable, on the whole, downstairs.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-We had both been reading almost all the evening. Sara had her novel, and
-I had the Times Supplement, which I am free to confess I like as well as
-any other part of the paper. I will not deny that I finished the third
-volume before I began to the newspaper; but, to be sure, a novel, after
-you are done with it, is an unsatisfactory piece of work; especially if
-the evening is only half over, and you have nothing else to begin to. I
-sat leaning back in my chair, wandering over the advertisements, and
-very ready for a talk. That is just the time, to be sure, when one wants
-somebody to talk to. If I had ever been used to the luxury of a
-favourite maid when I was young, as Sarah was, I do believe I should
-have been in my own cosy room now as well as Sarah, talking everything
-over with _my_ Carson. But that is not the way I was brought up, you
-see. To be sure, as there was ten years of difference between us, nobody
-had ever looked for me, and Sarah had got quite settled in her heiress
-ways before I was born. When I was young, I used to think it a sad pity
-for everybody’s sake that I ever was born, especially after my mother
-died; however, I changed my views upon that subject a good many years
-ago. Yet here I sat looking all over the advertisements, and keeping an
-eye on Sara to see if there was any hope of getting a little
-conversation out of her. Alas! she was all lapped up and lost in her
-novel. She thought no more of me than of Sarah’s empty chair. Ah! novels
-are novels when people are young. I looked at the poor dear child, and
-admired and smiled at her over the top of the newspaper. If I had been a
-cabbage, Sara could not have taken less notice of me.
-
-At last she suddenly exclaimed out loud--at something she was reading,
-of course--“I declare!” as if she had made a discovery, and then stopped
-short and looked up at me with a sort of challenge, as if defying me to
-guess what she was thinking of. Then, seeing how puzzled I looked, Sara
-laughed, but reddened a little as well, to my amazement; and finally,
-not without the least little touch of confusion, explained herself. To
-be sure it was quite voluntary, and yet a little unwilling too.
-
-“There’s something here exactly like the Italian gentleman; he that
-people talk so much about in Chester, you know.”
-
-“I never knew there was an Italian gentleman in Chester. What a piece of
-news! and you never told me,” said I.
-
-“He only came about a fortnight ago,” said Sara. “It looks quite
-romantic, you know, godmamma, which is the only reason _I_ have heard
-anything about it. He came quite in great style to the Angel, and said
-he was coming to see some friends, and asked all about whether anybody
-knew where the Countess Sermoneta lived. You may be quite sure nobody
-had ever heard of such a name in Chester. I heard it all from Lucy
-Wilde, who had heard it from her brother, who is always playing
-billiards and things at the Angel--Harry Wilde----”
-
-“That is the poor young man who----”
-
-“Oh, dear godmamma, don’t bother! let one go on with one’s story. Harry
-Wilde says the Italian came down among them, asking everybody about this
-Countess Sermoneta, and looking quite bewildered when he found that
-nobody knew her; but still he was quite lively, and thought it must be
-some mistake, and laughed, and made sure that this was really _Chestare_
-he had come to, and not any other place. But next day, people say, he
-sent for the landlord and asked all about the families in the
-neighbourhood, and all of a sudden grew quite grave and serious, and
-soon after took lodgings in Watergate, and has been seen going about the
-streets and the walls so much since that everybody knows him. He speaks
-English quite well--people say so, I mean--and he has a servant with
-him, the funniest-looking fat fellow you ever saw; no more like a proper
-Italian servant in a play or a novel than I am; and he calls himself
-just Mr. Luigi; and that, of course, you know, must be only his
-Christian name.”
-
-“Nay, indeed, Sara, I don’t know anything about it. There is nothing at
-all Christianlike in the name, so far as I can see.”
-
-“Well then, _I_ know, godmamma, which is all the same,” cried the
-impatient little creature; “but then, to be sure, our old Signor Valetti
-used to tell us they never minded their family names in Italy; and that
-people might be next-door neighbours for ever so long and never know
-each other’s surnames. Isn’t it pretty? especially when they have pretty
-Christian names, as all the Italians have.”
-
-“My dear, if you think Looegee pretty, I don’t,” said I. “Take my word
-for it, there is nothing like the sensible English names. I’ve had a
-good deal of experience, and I don’t like your romantic foreigners. For
-my part, I don’t like people that have a story. People have no right to
-have stories, child. If you do your duty honestly, and always tell the
-truth, and never conceal anything, you can’t get up a romance about
-yourself. As for this Italian fellow and his name----”
-
-“I don’t believe he’s a fellow any more than you are, godmamma,” cried
-Sara, quite indignantly; “people should know before they condemn; and
-his name is just plain Lewis when it’s put into English. I did not think
-you were so prejudiced, indeed I did not--or I never would have told you
-anything at all about the poor count----”
-
-“Heaven preserve us! he’s a count, is he?” said I. “And what do you know
-about him, Sara Cresswell, please, that you would quarrel with your own
-godmother for his sake?”
-
-Sara did not speak for a few minutes, looking very flushed and angry. At
-last, after a good fight with herself, she started up and threw her arms
-round my neck. “Dear godmamma, I wouldn’t quarrel with you for anybody
-in the world,” cried the little impulsive creature. Then she stopped and
-gave a little toss of her head. “But whatever anybody says, I know it’s
-_quite_ right to feel kind to the poor Italian gentleman, a stranger,
-and solitary, and disappointed! I do wonder at your people,
-godmamma--you people who pretend to do what’s in the Bible. You’re just
-as hard upon strangers and as ready to take up a prejudice as anybody
-else.”
-
-“I never pretended not to be prejudiced,” said I; “it’s natural to a
-born Englishwoman. And as for your foreign counts, that come sneaking
-into people’s houses to marry their daughters and run off with the
-money----”
-
-“Oh, if it is that you are thinking of, godmamma,” cried Sara with great
-dignity, sitting quite bolt upright in her chair, “you are totally
-mistaken, I assure you. I never spoke to the gentleman in my life; and
-besides,” she went on, getting very red and vehement, “I never will
-marry anybody, I have quite made up my mind; so, if you please,
-godmamma, whatever you choose to say about poor Mr. Luigi, _whom you
-don’t know anything about_, I hope you will be good enough not to draw
-me into any stupid story about marrying--I quite hate talk of that
-kind.”
-
-I was so thunderstruck that I quite called out--“You impertinent little
-puss,” said I, “is that how you dare to talk to your godmother!” I
-declare I do not think I ever was put down so all my life before. I gave
-her a good sound lecture, as anybody will believe, about the proper
-respect she owed to her friends and seniors, telling her that I was very
-much afraid she was in a bad way; and that, however her father, who
-spoiled her, might let her talk, she ought to know better than to set up
-her little saucy face like that in our house. I said a great deal to the
-little provoking creature. I am sure she never saw me so angry before,
-though she has been a perfect plague and tease all her days. But do you
-think she would give in, and say she was sorry? Not if it had been to
-save her life! She sat looking down on her book, opening and shutting it
-upon her hand, her little delicate nostril swelling, her red upper lip
-moving, her foot going pat-pat on the carpet, but never owning to be in
-the wrong or making the least apology. After I had done and taken up my
-paper again, pretending to be very busy with it, she got up and rummaged
-out the other volume of the novel, and came to me to say good-night,
-holding out her hand and stooping down her cheek, meaning me to kiss
-her, the saucy little puss! As she was in my house, and a guest, and her
-first night, I did kiss her, without looking at her. It was a regular
-quarrel; and so she too went off to her own room. So here I was all
-alone, very angry, and much disposed to launch out upon the servants or
-somebody. Contrairy indeed! I should think so! I wonder how that poor
-old Bob Cresswell can put up with his life. If she were mine I would
-send her off to school, for all so accomplished as they say she is.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-I had not a very good night after these troubles: somehow one’s sleep
-goes from one more easily when one grows old; and I kept dreaming all
-the night through of my sister and little Sara, and something they were
-concealing from me, mixing them both up together in my mind. I rose very
-uneasy and excited, not a bit refreshed, as one should feel in the
-morning. One thing very strange I have noticed all my life in dreams.
-Though never a single _thing_ that one dreams should ever come true,
-the feeling one has comes true somehow. I don’t know whether anybody
-will understand me. I have had friends in my young days, whom I thought
-a great deal upon, that did not prove true to me. And I have remarked,
-often long before I found them out, however fond or trustful in them I
-was through the day, I was always uneasy in my dreams, always finding
-out something wrong or meeting some unkindness--which makes me have a
-great confidence, not in what you would call _dreams_, you know, but in
-the sentiment of dreams, if you can understand what I mean. I woke up
-very unrefreshed, as I say; and got dressed and came downstairs as soon
-as it was daylight, though I knew well enough I should find nobody
-there. My sister always breakfasted in her own room, and Sara was late
-of coming down at the best of times; however, I got some letters about
-business, which were perhaps the best things I could have had. They put
-me off minding my quarrel with little Sara, or trying to find out what
-had kept Sarah so late on her drive.
-
-I had nearly finished breakfast when little Sara came downstairs. She
-came up to me just as she had done the night before, holding out her
-hand and stooping down her cheek to be kissed, but not looking at me. I
-kissed her, the provoking puss, and poured out her coffee. And after ten
-minutes or so we got on chatting just as usual, which was a relief to
-me, for I don’t like apologies and explanations. I never could bear
-them. Little Sara, after she had got over feeling a little awkward and
-stiff, as people always do when they have been wrong, was just in her
-ordinary. She was used to affront people and to have them come to again,
-the little wicked creature--I am afraid she did not mind.
-
-This little quarrel had put Sarah a good deal out of my mind, I must
-allow, but I got back to being anxious about her directly when I saw her
-come down-stairs. I can’t tell what the change upon her was--she did not
-look older or paler, or anything that you could put plainly in
-words--she was just as particularly dressed, and had her silver-white
-curls as nice, and her cap as pretty as usual, but she was not the same
-as she had been yesterday; certainly there was some change. Not to speak
-of that little nervous motion of her head and hands, which was greater
-to-day than ever I had seen it, there was a strange vigilance and
-watchfulness in her look which I don’t remember to have ever seen there
-before. She looked me very full in the face, I remember with a sort of
-daring defying openness, and the same to little Sara, though, of course
-what could the child know? All over, down to her very hands, as she
-went on with her knitting, there was a kind of self-consciousness that
-had a very odd effect upon me. I could not tell what in the world to
-think of it. And as for supposing that some mere common little accident,
-or a fright, or anything outside of herself, had woke her up to that
-look, you need not tell me. I have not lived fifty years in this world
-for nothing. I knew better. Whatever it was that changed Sarah’s look,
-the causes of it were deep down and secret in herself.
-
-It was this of course that made me anxious and almost alarmed, for I
-could not but think she must have something on her mind to make her look
-so. And when she beckoned to me that afternoon after dinner, as she did
-when she had anything particular to say, I confess my heart went thump
-against my breast, and I trembled all over. However, I went close up as
-usual, and drew my chair towards her that I might hear. Little Sara was
-close by. She could hear too if she pleased, but Sarah took no notice of
-the child.
-
-“Have you heard anything from Cresswell about Richard Mortimer?” Sarah
-asked me quite sharply all at once.
-
-“Why, no: he did not say anything yesterday when he was here. Did _you_
-have any conversation with him?”
-
-“_I!_ Do I have any conversation with any one?” said Sarah, in her
-bitter way. “I want you to bestir yourself about this business, however.
-We must have an heir.”
-
-“It is odd how little I have thought about it since that day--very odd,”
-said I; “and I was quite in earnest before. I wondered if Providence
-might, maybe, have taken it up now? I have seen such a thing: one falls
-off one’s anxiety somehow, one can’t tell how; and lo! the reason is,
-that the thing’s coming about all naturally without any help from you.
-We’ll be having the heir dropped down at the park gates some of these
-days, all as right and natural as ever was.”
-
-I said this without thinking much about it; just because it was an idea
-of mine, that most times, when God lays a kind of lull upon our
-anxieties and struggles, it really turns out to be because He himself is
-taking them in hand; but having said this easy and calm, without
-anything particular in my mind, you may judge how I was startled half
-out of my wits by Sarah dashing down her knitting-pin out of her hand,
-stamping her foot on the footstool, and half screaming out in her sharp,
-strangled whisper, that sounded like the very voice of rage itself--
-
-“The fool! the fool! oh, the fool! Shall I be obliged to leave my home
-and my seclusion and do it myself? I that might have been so different!
-Good God! shall _I_ be obliged to do it--_me_! When I was a young girl I
-might have hoped to die a duchess,--everybody said so,--and now, instead
-of being cared for and shielded from the envious world,--people were
-always envious of me since ever I remember,--must I go trudging out to
-find this wretched cousin? Is this all the gratitude and natural feeling
-you have? Good heaven! to put such a thing upon me!”
-
-She stopped, all panting and breathless, like a wild creature that had
-relieved itself somehow with a yell or a cry; but, strange, strange, at
-that moment Ellis opened the door. I will never think again she does not
-hear. The sound caught her in a moment. Her passion changed into that
-new watching look quicker than I can tell; and she sat with her eyes
-fixed upon me,--for, poor soul, to be sure she could not see through the
-screen behind her to find out what Ellis came for,--as if she could have
-killed me for the least motion. I got so excited myself that I could
-hardly see the name on the card Ellis brought in. Sarah’s looks, not to
-say her words, had put it so clearly in my mind that something was going
-to happen, that my self-possession almost forsook me. I let the card
-flutter down out of my hand when I lifted it off the tray, and did not
-hear a single syllable of what the man was saying till he had repeated
-it all twice over. It was only a neighbour who had sent over to ask for
-Miss Mortimer, having heard somehow that Sarah was poorly. She heard him
-herself, however, and gave an answer--her compliments, and she was quite
-well--before I knew what it was all about. If she had boxed me well she
-could not have muddled my head half so much as she had done now. When
-Ellis went away again, and left me alone close by her, I quite shook in
-my chair.
-
-But she had got over her rage as it seemed. She stooped down to pick up
-her knitting-pin--with a little pettish exclamation that nobody helped
-her now-a-days--just in her usual way, and took up the dropt stitches in
-her knitting. But I could very well see that her hand trembled. As she
-did not say any more, I thought I might venture to draw back my chair.
-But when she saw the motion she started, looked up at me, and held up
-her hand. I was not to get so easily away.
-
-“I had no idea you minded it so much. Well, well, Sarah,” cried I, in
-desperation, “I will write this moment to urge Mr. Cresswell on.”
-
-“And shout it all out, please, that the child may hear!” said Sarah,
-with a spiteful look as if she could bite me. I was actually afraid of
-her. I got up as fast as I could, and went off to the writing-table at
-the other end of the room. There was nothing I would not do to please
-her in a rational way; but, of all the vagaries she ever took up before,
-what did this dreadful passion mean?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-The next day I had something to do in the village, which was only about
-half a mile from the Park gates; but little Sara, when I asked her to go
-with me, had got some piece of business to her fancy in the greenhouse,
-and was not disposed to leave it, so I went off by myself. I went in, as
-I passed the lodge, to ask for little Mary Williams, who had a cough
-which I quite expected would turn to hooping-cough, though her mother
-would not believe it (I turned out to be right, of course). Mrs.
-Williams was rather in a way, poor body, that morning. Mary was worse
-and worse, with a flushed face and shocking cough, and nothing would
-please her mother but that it was inflammation, and the child would die.
-It is quite the strangest thing in the world, among those sort of
-people, how soon they make up their minds that their children are to
-die. I scolded her well, which did her good, and promised her the
-liniment we always have for hooping-cough, and said I should bring up a
-picture-book for the child (it’s a good little thing when it is well)
-from the new little shop in the village. This opened up, as I found out,
-quite a new phase of poor Williams’ trouble.
-
-“I wouldn’t encourage it ma’am, no sure, I wouldn’t, not for a hundred
-picture-books. I wouldn’t go for to set up them as ’tices men out of
-their houses and lads fro’ home. No! I seen enough of that when poor old
-Williams was alive, and we was all in Liverpool. It’s all as one as the
-public-houses, ma’am. I can’t see no difference. Williams, it was his
-chapell; and the boy, it’s his night-school and his reading. I don’t see
-no good of it. In the old man’s time, many’s the weary night I’ve sat
-by mysel’ mending their bits o’ things, and never a soul to cheer me up;
-and now, look’ee here, the boy’s tooken to it; and if I’m to lose
-Mary----”
-
-“You ridiculous woman,” cried I, while the poor creature fell sobbing
-and took to her apron, “what’s to make you lose Mary? The child’s going
-in for hooping-cough, as sure ever child was, and I see no reason in the
-world why she shouldn’t get over it nicely, with the spring coming on as
-well. Don’t fret; trouble comes soon enough without going out of the way
-to meet it. What’s all this story you’ve been telling me about poor
-Willie, and the shop in the village, and the night-school? Don’t you
-know, you foolish woman, the night-school may be the making of the boy?”
-
-“I don’t know nothink about it, ma’am, nor I don’t want to know,” said
-our liberal-minded retainer. “I know it takes the boy out o’ the house
-most nights in the week; and I sits a-thinking upon my troubles, and
-listening to all the sounds in the trees, sometimes moidered and
-sometimes scared. I’d clear away thankful any night, even washing night,
-when I’m folding for the mangle, to have him write his copy at home; and
-have a hearth-stone for him, though I say it as shouldn’t, as bright as
-a king’s. But he’s a deal grander nor the like o’ that, he is--he’ll
-stay and read the papers and talk. Bother their talk and their papers! I
-ask you, ma’am, wouldn’t Willie be a deal better at home?”
-
-“I shouldn’t say but what I might perhaps think so too,” said I; “but
-then the gentlemen say not, and they should know best.”
-
-“The gentlemen! and there’s another worry, sure,” said Mrs. Williams;
-“who would you think, ma’am, has been in the village, but a Frenchman,
-a-spying all about, and asking questions; and had the impudence to come
-to my very door, to the very park gates, to ask if I knowed a lady with
-a French name that was here or hereabout. I answered him short, and said
-I knew nothink about the French, and shut the door in his face, begging
-your pardon, ma’am; for, to be sure, he was after no good, coming asking
-for outlandish ladies here.”
-
-“Very odd,” said I, “I hope it’s no robber, Williams. You were quite
-right to shut the door in his face.”
-
-“And if I might make so bold,” said Williams, coming closer and speaking
-low, “Jacob, he maintains it was a French fellow with a mustache that
-scared Miss Sarah the day afore yesterday. Jacob seen him, but took no
-notice; and directly after Miss Sarah up and pulled the string, and
-told him to drive round by Eden Castle, a good five-mile round, and to
-go quick. You may depend Miss Sarah took him for a robber, or somethink;
-and I’m dead sure it was the same man.”
-
-I was very much startled by this, though I could scarcely tell why; but,
-of course, I would not let Williams suppose there was any mystery in it.
-“Very likely,” said I; “my sister goes out so little, she’s timid--but I
-am losing my time. Good-bye, little Mary, I’ll fetch you your
-picture-book; and be sure you rub her chest well with the liniment. I
-have always found it successful, and I’ve tried it for ten years.”
-
-When I had fairly got out of the lodge, I went along without losing any
-more time, wonderfully puzzled in my own mind. Here was a riddle I could
-neither understand nor find any key to. After hearing little Sara’s
-tale, and all she had to say about the Italian, there was nothing so
-surprising in finding him out here, if it should happen to be him,
-seeing the park was only a few miles from Chester; only that Sara showed
-more interest in him than she had any call to do, and if he should
-happen to be coming after _her_, it was a thing that should be looked
-to. But why, in all the world, should _Sarah_ be agitated by the sight
-of him? _That_ was the extraordinary circumstance. As for supposing her
-to be alarmed at the idea of a robber, that, of course, was the merest
-folly, and I never entertained the idea for a moment. But if this were
-not the reason, what could the reason be? I was entirely lost in
-bewilderment and consternation. Could it be the mere passing face of a
-stranger which made her so deeply anxious as to the name of the visitor
-who called next day, and the entrance of Ellis with the card? How, in
-all the world, could a wandering Italian, seeking or pretending to seek
-for somebody no one had ever heard of, make any difference to Sarah? The
-more I turned it over the more I was mystified. I could not even guess
-at any meaning in it; but to drive five miles round out of her way, to
-be so excited all at once about the heir of the Mortimers, and to have
-got such a strange, watchful, vigilant look on her face, these changes
-could not come from nothing: but I had not the merest shadow of a clue
-to guide me in connecting little Sara’s Italian, if it was he, with my
-sister Sarah’s agitation and excitement. I stopped short at this, and
-could not go a step further; if there was any connection between the
-two--if there was nothing else to account for Sarah’s trouble which I
-did not know of--then the whole affair was the most extraordinary
-mystery I ever came across.
-
-I walked pretty smartly down to the village while I was occupied with
-these thoughts. A nice little village ours was, though I can’t really
-say whether you would have called it picturesque. A little bit of a
-thread of a stream ran along the lower edge of the common, and found its
-way somehow, all by itself, little thing as it was, down to the Dee. At
-that time of year the common was rather chilly to look at, the grass and
-the gorse bushes being a good bit blackened by frost, which had set in
-pretty sharply. I remember noticing, as I passed, that Dame Marsden,
-whose cottage is the first you come to on the left-hand side, just on
-the edge of the common, had her washing out, some of the things, after
-the line was full, being spread on the gorse, and that the shirts were
-lying there with their stiff white arms stuck out like pokers, as hard
-with the frost as if they had been made of wood. But after you pass the
-first few cottages, which just lie here and there, you come to a snug
-bit of street, with the Rectory garden and a peep of the house on one
-side, and the doctor’s house staring straight at it across the road; and
-the other better houses of the village thrusting forward on both sides,
-as if to take care of the aristocracy, and keep them cosy. Just before
-you come to the doctor’s was the new shop I had spoken of at the lodge.
-It was got up by the doctor, and was going to be a failure. It had all
-kinds of cheap books and papers, and of all things in the world, a
-reading room! And the shopkeeper, who was rather a smart young fellow,
-taught a night school after the shop was over. I dare to say it wasn’t a
-bad place; but, of course, in a bit of a rural village like ours, it was
-easy to see it would never succeed.
-
-Into this shop, however, I went to get little Mary Williams her
-picture-book; and I can’t but say I was very much struck and surprised
-to see a stranger standing there whom I had never seen before, and to
-hear roars of laughter coming out of the shop and drawing the children
-about the door. The stranger was one of the fattest men I ever saw: not
-that he was dreadfully big or unwieldy,--on the contrary, he was
-spinning about on his toes in a way that would have been a trial to the
-lightest Englishman. His fatness was so beautifully distributed that it
-was amazing to see. His arms in the coat-sleeves which fitted them like
-the covers of a cushion, his short plump fingers, all were in perfect
-keeping. As for his face, that was nearly lost in beard. When I entered
-the shop he had seized his beard with one of his fat hands, in the
-warmth of his monologue; for he was talking, I have no doubt, in a very
-animated and lively manner, if any one could have understood a word of
-what he said. Now, I confess I felt a good deal of sympathy with the
-poor fellow; for I remember quite well the only time I ever was abroad
-feeling an odd sort of conviction that if I only spoke very clear,
-plain, distinct English, and spoke loud enough, people, after a while,
-must come to understand me. When he saw me he made a spin clean out of
-my way, took off the queer hat he had on, made me a bow, and stopped
-talking till I had done my business; which was the most civil thing I
-had seen in a stranger for many a day. And the face was such a jolly,
-honest sort of face that, in spite of my prejudice against foreigners, I
-felt quite disarmed all at once.
-
-“Who is he? What is he saying?” said I to the shop-people.
-
-“Goodness knows!” cried old Mrs. Taylor, the shopkeeper’s mother. “I
-know no more on’t nor if it was a dog. Lord, Miss Milly! to think of
-poor creatures brought up from their cradles to talk sich stuff as
-that!”
-
-“I was brought up at a grammar-school, ma’am,” said young Taylor
-himself, with a blush; “where it isn’t modern languages, you know,
-ma’am, that’s the great thing; and, though I know the grammar, I’m not
-very well up in my French.”
-
-Here his little sister, who had kept nudging him all this time, suddenly
-whispered, with her face growing crimson, “Oh, Alfred! ask Miss
-Milly!--to be sure she knows.”
-
-And, to tell the truth, though I knew I could never keep up a
-conversation, I had been privately conning over in my own mind a little
-scrap of French, though whether he was French or not I knew no more than
-Jenny Taylor. So I faced round boldly enough, not being afraid of any
-criticism, and fired off my interrogation at the good-humoured fat
-fellow. He looked so blank after I had spoken that it was quite apparent
-he did not understand a word of it. He made a profusion of bows. He
-entered into a long and animated explanation, which sent Jenny Taylor
-into fits of laughter, and filled her mother with commiseration. But I
-caught two words, and these confounded me. The first was “Italiano,”
-over and over repeated; the second which he pronounced, pointing out to
-the street with many lively gestures, was “padrone.” I comprehended the
-matter all at once, and it made my heart beat. This was the servant whom
-little Sara had described, and the master, the “padrone,” was in the
-village pursuing his extraordinary inquiries, whatever they were, here.
-For the moment I could not help being agitated; I felt, I cannot explain
-why, as if I were on the eve of finding out something. I asked him
-eagerly, in English, where his master was; and again received a voluble
-and smiling answer, I have no doubt in very good Italian. Then we shook
-our heads mutually and laughed, neither quite convinced that the other
-could not understand if he or she would. But the end was that I got my
-picture-book and left the shop without ascertaining anything about the
-padrone. Perhaps it was just as well. Why should I go and thrust myself
-into mysteries and troubles which did not make any call upon me?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-I had a good many little errands in the village, and stayed there for
-some time. It was dusk when I turned to go home. Very nice the village
-looks at dusk, I assure you--the rectory windows beginning to shine
-through the trees, and the doctor’s dining-room answering opposite as if
-by a kind of reflection; but no lamps or candles lighted yet in the
-other village houses, only the warm glow of the fire shining through the
-little muslin blind on the geraniums in the window; and, perhaps, the
-mother standing at the door to look out for the boys at play, or to see
-if it is time for father’s coming home. Dame Marsden’s shirts were still
-lying stiff and stark like ghosts upon the gorse bushes; and some of the
-early labourers began to come tramping heavily down the road with their
-long, slow, heavy steps. I had just stopped to ask James Hobson for his
-old father, when my share of the adventure came. I call it the
-adventure, because I suppose, somehow, we were all in it--Sarah, little
-Sara Cresswell, and me.
-
-Just when that good Jem had gone on--such a fellow he is, too! keeps his
-old father like a prince!--another sort of a figure appeared before the
-light; and, bless me, to think I should have forgotten that
-circumstance!--of course it was the same figure that started so suddenly
-past me that evening when I stood looking for Sarah at the gate. He took
-off his hat to me, in the half light, and stopped. I stopped also, I
-cannot tell why. So far as I could see, a handsome young man, not so
-dark as one expects to see an Italian, and none of that sort of French
-showman look--you know what I mean--that these sort of people generally
-have: on the contrary, a look very much as if he were a gentleman; only,
-if I may say it, more innocent, more like a child in his ways than the
-young men are now-a-days. I did not see all this just in a moment, you
-may be sure. Indeed, I rather felt annoyed and displeased when the
-stranger stopped me on the road--my own road, that seemed to belong to
-me as much as the staircase or corridor at home. If he had not been
-possessed of a kind of ingratiating, conciliatory sort of manner, as
-these foreigners mostly have, I should scarcely have given him a civil
-answer, I do believe.
-
-“Pardon, Madame”--not _Madam_, you perceive, which is the stiffest,
-ugliest word that can be used in English--and I can’t make out how, by
-putting an e to the end of it, and laying the emphasis on the last
-syllable, it can be made so deferential and full of respect as the
-French word sounds to English ears--“pardon, Madame; I was taking the
-liberty to make inquiries in your village, and when I am so fortunate as
-to make an encounter with yourself, I think it a very happy accident.
-Will Madame permit me to ask her a question; only one,--it is very
-important to me?”
-
-“Sir,” said I, being a little struck with his language, and still more
-with his voice, which seemed to recall to me some other voice I had once
-known, “you speak very good English.”
-
-His hat was off again, of course, in a moment to acknowledge the
-compliment; but dark as it was, I could neither overlook nor could I in
-the least understand, the singular, half pathetic, melancholy look he
-gave me as he answered. “I had an English mother,” said the young
-foreigner; and he looked at me in the darkness, and in my complete
-ignorance of him, as if somehow I, plain Millicent Mortimer, a single
-woman over fifty, and living among my own people, either knew something
-about his mother, or had done her an injury, or was hiding her up
-somewhere, or I don’t know what. I could not tell anybody how utterly
-confounded and thunderstruck I was. I had nearly screamed out: “I? What
-do I know about your mother?” so much impression did it have on me.
-After all it is wonderful how these foreigners do talk in this underhand
-sort of way with their eyes. I declare I do not so much wonder at the
-influence they often get over young creatures. That sort of thing is
-wonderfully impressive to the imagination.
-
-He paused quite in a natural, artful sort of way, to let the look have
-its full effect; and he must have seen I was startled too; for though I
-was old enough to have been his mother, I was, of course, but a plain
-Englishwoman, and had no power over my face.
-
-“Madame,” said the stranger with a little more vehemence, and a motion
-of his arm which looked as if he might fall into regular gesticulating,
-just what disgusts one most, “to find the Countess Sermoneta is the
-object of my life!”
-
-“I am very sorry I can’t help you,” said I, quite restored to myself by
-this, which I was, so to speak, prepared for; “I never heard of such a
-person; there’s no one of that name in this quarter, nor hasn’t been, I
-am sure, these thirty years.”
-
-Seeing I was disposed to push past, my new acquaintance stood aside, and
-took off again that everlasting hat.
-
-“I will not detain Madame,” he said in a voice that, I confess, rather
-went to my heart a little, as if I had been cruel to him; “but Madame
-will not judge hardly of my case. I came to find one whom I thought I
-had but to name; and I find her not, nor her name, nor any sign that she
-was ever here. Yet I must find her, living or dead; I made it a promise
-to my father on his death-bed. Madame will not wonder if I search, ask,
-look everywhere; I cannot do otherwise. Pardon that I say so much; I
-will detain Madame no more.”
-
-And so he stood aside with another salute. Still he took off his hat
-like a gentleman--no sort of flourish--a little more distinctly raised
-from his head, perhaps, than people do now-a-days; but nothing in bad
-taste; and just in proportion to his declaration that he would not
-detain me, I grew, if I must confess it, more and more willing to be
-detained. I did not go on when he stood out of my way, but rather fell a
-little back, and turned more towards him than I had yet done. Dame
-Marsden had just lighted her lamp, and it cast a sort of glimmery,
-uncertain light upon the face of my new acquaintance; undeniably a
-handsome young man. I like good-looking people wherever I find them; and
-that was not all. Somehow, through his beard--which I daresay people who
-like such appendages would have thought quite handsome--there seemed to
-me to look, by glimpses, some face I had known long ago; and his voice,
-foreign as it was, had a tone, just an occasional indescribable note,
-which reminded me of some other voice, I could not tell whom belonging
-to. It was very strange; and one forgets stories that one has no
-personal interest in. Did I ever hear of any country person that had
-married an Italian? for somehow I had jumped to the conclusion that it
-was his mother he sought.
-
-“It is very odd,” said I, “I can fancy I have heard a voice like yours
-somewhere long ago. I seem to feel as if I knew you. I don’t remember
-ever hearing the name you want; but I’ll consult my sister and an old
-servant we have, and try to find out,--Sermoneta! I certainly do not
-recollect ever hearing the name. But it is very sad you should be so
-disappointed. If you will come to the Park some day next week and ask
-for Miss Millicent, I will do my best to find out for you if anybody
-knows the name.”
-
-He made a great many exclamations of thanks, which, to be sure, I could
-have dispensed with, and paused a little again in a hesitating way when
-I wanted to go on. At last he began quite in a new tone; and this was
-the oddest part of all.
-
-“If Madame should find, on inquiring, that the bearer of this name did
-not _will_ to bear it; if there might be reasons to conceal that
-name;--if the lady, who is the Contessa, would but see me, would but let
-me know----”
-
-“Sir,” said I, interrupting the young fellow all at once, “is it an
-_English_ lady you are speaking of? English ladies do not conceal their
-names. Reason or not, we own to the name that belongs to us in _this_
-country. No, no, I know nothing about such a possibility. I don’t
-believe in it either. If I can hear of a Countess Sermoneta, I’ll let
-you know; but as for anybody denying their own name, you must not think
-such things happen here. Good night. You’re not accustomed to England, I
-can see. You must not think me impatient; but that’s not how we do
-things in our country. Come to the Park, all the same; and I shall do
-what I can to find out whether anybody remembers what you want to know.”
-
-This time he did not make any answer, only drew back a step, and so got
-quite out of the light of Dame Marsden’s window. He seemed to be
-silenced by what I had said, and I went on quite briskly, a little
-stimulated, I confess, by that little encounter, and the exertion of
-breaking my spear for English honour. Denying one’s name, indeed! Of
-course we have our faults like other people; but who ever heard of an
-English person (not speaking of thieves, or such creatures, of course),
-denying his name! The thing was quite preposterous. It quite warmed me
-up as I hastened back to the Park, though I was rather later than usual,
-and the night had fallen dark all at once; and, to be sure, this kept me
-from all those uncomfortable ideas--that perhaps, it might be a
-deception after all; and what if it were a contrivance to be admitted to
-the Park? and it might, even, for anything I know, be all a
-fortune-hunter’s device to get introduced to Sara Cresswell--which
-disturbed my mind sadly, though I felt much ashamed of them after I had
-time for reflection at home.
-
-
-
-
-PART II.
-
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-I will tell you exactly how it all happened.
-
-I have been an orphan all my life; at least, if that is a little Irish,
-I mean that I never knew, or saw, that I know of, either my father or my
-mother. Sad enough in the best of cases, and mine was not the best case
-you could think of. I don’t know who paid for me when I was a child.
-Some of mamma’s relations, I suppose, among them; and of all people in
-the world to trust a poor little orphan child to, think of fixing upon a
-soldier’s wife, following the regiment! That is how I have always been
-half a soldier myself; and one reason, perhaps, if any reason was
-necessary but his dear, good, tender-hearted self, why I was so ready,
-when Harry asked me, to do the most foolish thing in the world.
-
-Though I say they made a strange choice in leaving me with dear Nurse
-Richards, I don’t mean that it was not, so far as the woman was
-concerned, the very best choice that possibly could have been made.
-Richards himself was a sergeant, and she was quite a superior woman; but
-much more to the purpose than that, she had been my very own nurse,
-having taken me when poor mamma died. She had lost her baby, and I had
-lost my mother; and it was for real love, and not for hire, that Nurse
-Richards took the charge of me. She used to work hard, and deny herself
-many things, I know, to keep the little house, or the snug lodgings we
-always had, as far off from the barracks as Richards would allow them to
-be. I know she could not possibly have had enough money for me to make
-up for what she spent on my account; but I don’t think it was hard to
-her, working and sparing for the poor orphan little girl. I know such
-things by my own experience now. It was sweet to her to labour, and
-contrive, and do a hundred things I knew nothing about, for “the
-child’s” sake. I would do it all over again, and thankful, for her sake.
-Ah, that I would! Pain and trouble are sweet for those one loves.
-
-She did her duty by me too, if ever woman did. She never would let me
-forget that I was a lady, as she said. She used to lecture me by the
-hour about many a thing being fit enough for the other children which
-was not becoming for me, till I came to believe her as children do, and
-gave myself little airs as was natural. I got no education, to be sure,
-but reading and writing, and needlework, and how to do most things about
-a house. So far as I have gone into life yet it has been a very good
-education to me. I don’t doubt much more serviceable than if I had been
-at boarding-school, as poor Aunt Connor used to lament, and wish I had;
-but it was a sad wandering life for all that. We were in Edinburgh the
-first that I can recollect. I remember as clear as possible, as if it
-were in a dream, the great Castle Rock standing high up out of the town,
-and whatever was ado in the skies, sunshine, or moonlight, or clouds, or
-a thunder-storm, or whatever was going on, always taking that for its
-centre, as I imagined. I could fancy still, if I shut my eyes, that I
-saw the grey building up high in the blue air, with the lights twinkling
-in the windows half way up to the stars; and heard the trumpet pealing
-out with a kind of wistful sound, bringing images to me, a soldier’s
-child, of men straying about, lost among the darkling fields, or
-bewildered in the streets, when the recall sounded far up over their
-heads in that calm inaccessible height. I see that very Castle Rock now
-again, not in imagination, but with my real eyes. It is just the same as
-ever, though I am so very different. It is my first love, and I am loyal
-to it. Not being of any country, for I am _some_ Irish, and some Welsh,
-and some Scotch, and Harry is a pure thorough-bred Englishman, I can
-quite afford to be in love with Edinburgh Castle. The regiment went to
-Swansea after it left Edinburgh, and then to Belfast, and we were in
-dreadful terror of being sent to Canada, where Nurse Richards declared
-she never would take “the child.” However, it never came to trying. At
-Belfast, dear tender soul, she died. Ah me! ah me! I could not think how
-the kind Lord could leave me behind, so wretched as I was; but He knew
-better than I did. I was only fifteen; I humbly hope, now I’m twenty, I
-have a great deal more yet to do in the world. But I thought of nothing
-then except only what a comfort it would be to slip into the coffin
-beside her and be laid down quietly in her grave.
-
-I did not know a single relation I had, if, indeed, I had any; Aunt
-Connor, I know, used to send the money for me; but Nurse Richards had
-often told me she was not my real aunt; only my uncle’s wife, and he was
-dead. So, though she supported me, she had no right to love me; and she
-couldn’t love me, and did not, that is certain; for I was fifteen, and
-had never seen her, nor a single relation in the world. However, when
-she heard of Nurse Richards’ death, Aunt Connor sent her maid for me. It
-is very fortunate, Bridget said, we were in Belfast, and no great
-distance off, for if it had been in England, over the seas, there was no
-telling what might have happened. I was very unwilling to go with
-Bridget. I struggled very much, and spoke to Richards about it. I said I
-would much rather go into service, where at least I could be near _her_
-grave; but it was of no use speaking. I was obliged to obey.
-
-Aunt Connor lived in Dublin; and when I got to her house and saw the
-footman, and the page in his livery, and all the grandeur about the
-house, I thought really that Aunt Connor must be a very great lady.
-Harry says the house was shabby-fine, and everything vulgar about it;
-but I cannot say I saw that. Perhaps I am not so good a judge as Harry,
-never having seen anything of the kind before. I do believe that she
-really was very kind to me in her way; I must say so, whatever Harry
-thinks. Harry says she behaved atrociously, and was jealous of me
-because I was prettier than her own girls (which is all Harry’s
-nonsense), and a great deal more like that--all in the Cinderella style,
-you know, where the two young ladies are spiteful and ugly, and the
-little girl in the kitchen is quite an angel. I love Cinderella; but all
-the same, Harry’s story _is not true_. I underscore the words to
-convince him if he should ever see this. Alicia and Patricia were very
-handsome girls,--as different from me as possible--and good girls too,
-and always had a kind word for their poor little cousin. They did not
-take me to all their gaieties, to be sure. I am sure I did not wish it.
-I was much happier in the nursery. After I had seen Harry a few times,
-perhaps I did grudge going down so seldom to the drawing-room; and used
-to keep wondering in my heart which of them he was fond of, and had many
-a cry over it. But now that it is all past, and I see more clearly, I
-know they were very kind indeed, considering. They were never, all the
-time I was there, unfeeling to me; they liked me, and I liked them:
-nothing in the world of your Cinderella story. If I had a nice house,
-and was rich enough to have a visitor, there is nothing I should like
-better than to have Patricia (her sister is married) come to see me. It
-would be pleasant to see her bright Irish face. No, honestly, I cannot
-complain of Aunt Connor. I am very sorry I deceived her for an hour--she
-was never unkind to me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-I did not think I could have said half a dozen words about myself
-without telling all the story of my marriage. But what I have said was
-necessary to keep you from blaming me so much. For, after all, I was a
-young, friendless, desolate creature, longing very much to have somebody
-belonging to me, somebody of my very own, and with no very clear natural
-duty to Aunt Connor, though she had paid for bringing me up. I say again
-she was kind to me, and so were the girls; but principally because it
-was not in their nature to be unkind to anybody, and not because they
-had a particular affection for me. And that is what one wants, whatever
-people may choose to say. One might die of longing for love though one
-was surrounded with kindness. Ah, yes, I am sure of it: even a little
-unkindness from people we belong to, and who belong to us, one can bear
-it. To have nobody belonging to you is the saddest thing in the world.
-
-I never was melancholy or pensive, or anything like that. After a while,
-when I could think of Nurse Richards without breaking my heart, I got
-just as cheerful as other girls of my age, and enjoyed whatever little
-bit of pleasure came to me. But after I began to know Harry--after it
-began to dawn upon my mind that there might be somebody in the world who
-would take an interest in all my little concerns, for no better reason
-than that they belonged to me, not for kindness or compassion, I felt as
-if I were coming to life all at once. I have had some doubts since
-whether it was what people call love; perhaps I would have been shyer
-had it been so, and I don’t think I ever was shy to speak of. I was so
-glad, so thankful, to the bottom of my heart, to think of having
-somebody belonging to me. If we could have done something to make
-ourselves _real_ brother and sister, I believe I should have been just
-as glad. However, of course that was impossible. All the officers used
-to come to Aunt Connor’s; she was always good-tempered and pleasant, and
-glad to see them, though I am sure she would not have allowed her girls
-to marry any of those poor lieutenants. However, I happened to be in the
-drawing-room a good many times when Harry came first. Nobody noticed
-that we two were always getting together for a time; but when my aunt
-did observe it, she was angry, and said I was flirting, and I was not to
-come downstairs any more in the evening. I thought I didn’t mind; I
-never had minded before. But I did feel this. I made quite sure Harry
-was falling in love with one of my cousins, and used to wonder which it
-would be, and cry. Crying by one’s self does not improve one’s looks;
-and when I met Harry the first day, by real accident, he looked so
-anxious and concerned about me, that it quite went to my heart. My aunt
-used to send me on her particular errands at that time,--to order things
-for the dinner-parties, and to match ribbons, and to take gloves to be
-cleaned; things the servants could not do properly. She used to say if I
-kept my veil down, and walked very steadily, nobody would ever molest
-me; and nobody ever did. Only Harry got to know the times I generally
-went out, and always happened to meet me somewhere. Oh yes, it was very
-wrong; very, _very_ wrong; if I had ever had a mother I could not have
-forgiven myself. But it was such a comfort to see his face brighten up
-as he caught sight of me. No one could tell how cheering it was except
-one as friendless as me. So, as you may suppose, it went on from less to
-more, and at last (after we had been asked in church, and I don’t know
-all what) Harry and I called in at a far-off little church one morning,
-and were married. I had not thought very much about it till it was over;
-but the moment it was fairly over I fell into the greatest panic I ever
-was in, in all my life. What if Aunt Connor should find us out? If she
-did find us out, what would be done to us? what would happen to Harry? I
-almost think he must have carried me out of church, my head quite spun
-round upon my shoulders. I fell into such a tremble that my limbs would
-not support me. When we were out of the church,--it was a summer
-morning, beautiful and sweet, and the air so pleasant that it made one
-happy to breathe it,--we two foolish young creatures looked with a kind
-of awe into each other’s faces. Harry was pale as well as me. I do
-believe he was in a panic too. “Oh, Harry, what have we done?” cried I
-with a little gasp. He burst out into a great trembling laugh. “What we
-can never undo, Milly darling; nor anybody else for us,” said he; “and
-God be praised!” I could not say another word. We neither of us could
-speak any more; we went silently along through the air, so sweet and
-sunny, trembling and holding each other close, to my aunt’s door, where
-we were to part. I think we must have gone gliding along like fairies,
-on the wings that grow to people’s shoulders at those wonderful moments;
-surely we did not walk over the common pavement like ordinary people.
-But the common door, the white steps, the blank front of Aunt Connor’s
-house, disenchanted us. I could not stop to say good-bye, but only gave
-him a frightened look, and ran in, for the door was fortunately open.
-Oh, how cold and trembling I felt when I shut my room door, and was safe
-in, and knew it was all over! I took off my white frock, all in awe and
-terror of myself. But when I had put on my morning dress, and looked at
-myself in the glass, it was not Milly Mortimer! _I_ knew it was not
-Milly Mortimer. I fastened my ring so that I could wear it round my neck
-under my high dress, without anybody knowing; but already it had made a
-mark round my finger. I was married! Oh dear, dear, and to think I could
-not tell anybody! I never had a secret all my life before. I went down
-on my knees in the corner, and asked God to forgive me, and to take care
-of us two poor children that did not know what we were doing. Then I had
-to get up and open my door, and go out in the every-day house. I can’t
-tell how I did it. Of all the wonders in my life, there is none like
-that. I can fancy how I was led on to consent to be married; but how did
-I ever go downstairs and do my sewing, and eat my dinner, and look Aunt
-Connor in the face? I suppose I must have done it somehow without making
-them suspect anything; and I don’t wonder my aunt called me a little
-hypocrite. What a hypocrite I must have been!
-
-I did not see Harry next day, and felt very miserable; cold, as if a
-sudden frost had come on in the middle of summer. But the next morning
-after, looking out of my window very early, who should I see looking up
-at the house but himself! That moment I got back into the sun. We
-belonged to each other; everything, even to the dress I had on, Harry
-was pleased to know about. Ah, what a difference! I cannot say anything
-else, though it may be very improper. After that moment I never was
-ashamed again of what I had done, nor frightened, nor sorry. If it was
-wrong, it’s a pity, and I don’t defend myself; but from that time I
-thought only that I had somebody belonging to me; that I dared not get
-ill, or mope, or die, or do any foolish thing; that I had Harry to think
-of, and do for, and take care of. Ah, that was different from doing Aunt
-Connor’s messages. It was not being married, it was being born--it was
-coming to life.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-You are not to suppose, however, that we did not pay for our
-foolishness. If I had been a well-brought up girl living at home, I
-should have been perfectly wretched in that strange, feverish, secret
-life in which everything felt like guilt; and, as it was, the excitement
-and feeling of secrecy wore me out day by day. Poor Harry, too, got
-quite harassed and wretched looking. This that we had done certainly did
-not make us happy. Harry still came to the house for the chance of
-seeing me; and imagine what I felt to know that he was in the
-drawing-room, and _I, his wife_, sitting upstairs, after the little
-children had gone to bed, sewing in the quiet nursery! I don’t know how
-I ever endured it; and to hear Alicia and Patricia next morning saying
-to each other what a bear that young Langham had grown! Once or twice,
-when I was allowed to be downstairs, it was worse and worse. If one of
-the other gentlemen so much as looked at me, Harry flushed up and
-looked furious. Twenty times in a night I thought he would have
-interfered and made a scene; but all the time we dared scarcely speak to
-each other; and I am sure Aunt Connor never thought we were flirting
-then. When I went out, as before, on my aunt’s errands, with my veil
-down, Harry, instead of being pleased to meet me, as he used to be, was
-so cross and unhappy that it was quite dreadful to be with him. And he
-would come about the house looking up at the windows at all kinds of
-improper times, quite in an open way, as if he were defying Aunt Connor.
-I was quite in a fever night and day; I never knew what might happen any
-minute. He could not bear so much as to think of other people ordering
-me about, and making me do things I did not want to do. I am sure it is
-very good of Harry to be so kind and fond of me as he is; for I feel
-certain that, for the first three months, our marriage made him
-miserable, injured his health, and his temper, and his appetite, and
-everything. You may say, why did we keep it secret? The reason was this,
-that he was to come in to a little money, which his uncle, who was his
-only relation, had promised him on his birthday, and which he ought to
-have got before now; and poor Harry thought every day it might come, and
-was always waiting. But unless it was that promised present, he had
-nothing in the world but his lieutenant’s pay.
-
-However, of course, this state of things could not go on. One day I had
-gone out to take some gloves to be cleaned, and Harry, of course, had
-met me. We were going along very quiet, not saying much to each other,
-for he had been in one of his troublesome humours, having got a letter
-from his uncle without a word in it about the money, and I had been
-begging him to have patience a little, when all at once my heart gave a
-jump, and I knew the crisis had come. There, straight before us,
-crossing the road, was Aunt Connor, with her great eyes fixed upon Harry
-and me!
-
-I gave a little cry and looked round. If there had been any cross street
-or opening near I should have run away, and never looked either of them
-in the face again; but there was not a single opening in all the houses.
-I clasped my hands together tight, and stood still, with something
-throbbing so in my head that I thought it would burst. I did not see
-Harry nor anything, only Aunt Connor coming up to me whom I had
-deceived.
-
-She grasped hold of me by the arm as soon as ever she came up. “Oh, you
-shameless, ungrateful creature! Is this what you have come to after all
-my care of you? This is how you take your walks, is it, Miss Mortimer?
-Oh, good heavens! was ever simple woman so taken in and imposed upon?
-Oh, you wicked, foolish, thoughtless thing! do you know you’re going to
-ruin? do you know you’re seeking your own destruction? do you
-know?--Lord save us, I don’t know what words to say to you! Haven’t you
-heard what comes to young girls that behave so? Oh, you young
-scapegrace! how dare you bring such a disgrace on my house!”
-
-“Hold your tongue, you old witch,” said Harry, who was perfectly wild
-with rage, as I could hear by the sound of his voice, for I dared not
-turn my head to look at him. But there he was, grasping hold of my hand
-and holding me up. “Take your hand off my wife’s arm, Mrs. Connor. What!
-you dare venture to speak about disgrace and destruction after sending
-her out defenceless day after day. She has had somebody to defend her,
-though you took no trouble about it. Yes, Milly darling, I am thankful
-it has come at last. Madam, take away your hand; she is my wife.”
-
-Aunt Connor fell back from me perfectly speechless, holding up her two
-hands. We two stood opposite, Harry holding my hand drawn through his
-arm. I thought I should have sunk into the ground; and yet I felt so
-happy and proud I could have cried with joy. Yes, it was quite true; I
-was not all by myself to fight my own battles. We two belonged to each
-other, and all the world could not make it otherwise. I could not say a
-word, and I did not mind. I could leave it all to Harry. Henceforward he
-would stand up for me before all the world.
-
-I really cannot tell, after that, what Aunt Connor said. I remember that
-Harry wanted to take me away at once to his lodgings, and said he would
-not allow me to go home with her; and she took hold of my arm again, and
-declared she would not let me go till she had proof he was telling the
-truth about our marriage. The end of it all was that we both went home
-with her. She was dreadfully angry,--speechless with rage and dismay;
-but after just the first she managed to keep proper and decorous in what
-she said, being in the street, and not wishing to make a scene or gather
-a crowd. She took us into the library and had it out there. Oh, what
-names she called me!--not only deceitful and ungrateful, but, what was
-far worse, light and easily won; and warned Harry against me, that I’d
-deceive him as well. When she said _that_ it roused me; and I don’t know
-what I should have said if Harry had not drawn me aside quite quietly
-and whispered, “Leave it all to me.” I did; I never said a word for
-myself. I put my cause into his hands. To be answered for, and have my
-defence undertaken so, did a great deal more than make up to me for
-anything that could be said. It was all very agitating and dreadful,
-however; and I could not help thinking that most likely Harry’s uncle,
-when he heard what a foolish marriage his nephew had made, would not
-send that money, and Harry would have me to provide for, and so little,
-so very little to do it with; and most likely all his brother officers
-making fun of him to each other for being so foolish. Ah! now I felt how
-foolish we had been.
-
-“Milly must come home with me,” said Harry. “If I could scarcely endure
-her remaining here while it was all a secret, you may suppose how
-impossible it is that I can endure it now. I thank you very much, Mrs.
-Connor, for finding us out; and don’t think,” he said, changing his look
-in a moment, “that I forget or will forget what actual kindness you may
-have shown to my wife. But she is my wife: she must not do other
-people’s business, or live in any house but her own. Mrs. Connor will
-let you put your things together, Milly darling, for I cannot leave you
-behind again.”
-
-“Well, young people,” said Aunt Connor, “I have seen a great deal, and
-come through a great deal in my life, but such boldness and unconcern I
-never did see before. Why, you don’t even look ashamed of
-yourselves!--not Miss here, that is going to be at the head of her own
-establishment, in the parlour over Mrs. Grogram’s shop, with boots lying
-about in all the corners, and a cigar-box on the mantelshelf. However,
-Mr. Langham, I am not such an old witch as you think for. I won’t let my
-poor Connor’s niece go off like this, all of a sudden, with a young man
-that has never made the least preparation for her. I am not throwing any
-doubt upon your marriage, nor meaning any scandal upon the lieutenant,
-Miss Milly,--you need not flush up; but what do you suppose his landlady
-would say if he came in with a young lady by his side, and said he had
-brought home his wife? Do you think she’d believe in you, or give you
-proper respect, you unfortunate young creature? No, no; I’ll do my duty
-by you, whether you will or no. Let Mr. Langham go home and make things
-a little ready for a lady. She’s a lady by both sides of the house, I
-can tell you, Mr. Langham; and I’ve heard her poor papa say might come
-in for a great estate, if she lived. Any how, she’s poor Connor’s niece,
-and she shan’t go out of my house in an unbecoming manner. Go home and
-set your place in order for a bride; and since it must be so, come back
-for Milly; but out of this door she’s not going to-night. Now be
-easy,--be easy. I have had to do with her for eighteen years, and you
-have had to do with her for a month or two. It’s not respectable, I tell
-you, you two young fools. What! do you think I’ll make away with her, if
-you leave her here while you make things decent at home?”
-
-Neither Harry nor I could resist kindness; and Aunt Connor was kind, as
-nobody could deny; but he blushed, poor fellow, and looked
-uncomfortable, and looked at me to help him out this time. “Harry has no
-money, no more than I have,” said I; “it’s his wife that must make
-things tidy at home.”
-
-A kind of strange spasm went over Aunt Connor’s face, as if she had
-something to say and couldn’t, or wouldn’t. She pursed up her lips all
-at once, and went away hastily to the other end of the room to pick up
-something,--something that had nothing at all to do with us or our
-business. “Well, well, do as you like,” she said, in a curious choked
-voice. When she turned away from us, Harry drew me close to him to
-consult what we should do. It was quite true about the boots, he said,
-with a blush and a laugh; should I mind? Certainly I didn’t mind; but I
-thought, on the whole, it was best not to vex Aunt Connor any more, but
-to take her advice,--he to leave me here to-night, and fetch me home
-to-morrow. Fetch me home! I that had never known such a thing in all my
-life.
-
-We parted for another day with that agreement; and, strange as people
-may think it, I was quite a heroine in Aunt Connor’s house that night.
-The girls both came up to my room and made me tell them all about it,
-and laughed and kissed me, and teased me, and cried over me, and did all
-sorts of kind foolish things. They found out my ring tied round my neck,
-and made me put it on; and they kept constantly running back and forward
-from their own room to mine with little presents for me. Not much, to be
-sure; but I was only a girl, though I was married, and liked them. There
-was somebody to dinner, so I did not go downstairs, but when the
-strangers were gone, there was a little supper in my honour, and Aunt
-Connor made some negus with her own hand, and ordered them all to drink
-dear Milly’s health the last night she would be at home. I could have
-really thought they loved me that last night. They did not, however;
-only, though it might not be very steady or constant, they were kind,
-kind at the heart; and when one was just at the turn of one’s life, and
-all one’s heart moved and excited, they could no more have refused their
-sympathy than they could have denied their nature; and being very much
-shocked and angry at first did not make the least difference to this.
-The girls were twenty times fonder of me that night than if I had been
-married ever so properly,--dear, kind, foolish Irish hearts!
-
-But all the while there was a strange uneasy look in Aunt Connor’s face.
-I divined somehow, I cannot tell by what means, that there was something
-she ought to tell me which she either was afraid or unwilling to let me
-know, or had some object in keeping from me. She must be an innocent
-woman, surely, or I never could have read that so clear in her face.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-The next morning Harry came radiant, quite like a new man. Was it all
-for joy of taking me home? or, perhaps he had got the money on this most
-convenient of all mornings? but such things don’t often happen just at
-the most suitable time. He came rushing in with a kind of
-shout,--“Milly, we’ve orders to march; we’re going next week. Hurrah!”
-cried Harry.
-
-“And why hurrah?” said I.
-
-“We’ll have ourselves to ourselves, and nobody in our way,” he said; but
-just then seeing Aunt Connor, who was at the other end of the room,
-stopped short and looked a little confused. He had not intended to say
-anything ill-natured to her.
-
-“Oh, I am not affronted; you’re excusable, you’re quite excusable,” said
-Aunt Connor; “and I believe it _is_ very lucky; you’ll have a fresh
-start, and nobody will know how foolish you have been. I was too angry
-to ask yesterday, or to think of anything but that deluded child there,
-that thinks herself so happy;--but young Langham, dear, have ye any
-friends?”
-
-“None to whom I am answerable,” said Harry.
-
-“Then that means no father nor mother, no parents and guardians?” said
-my aunt. “Well, what you’ve done is done, and can’t be undone; we must
-make the best of it. Have you put the boots into the corner, and tidied
-the cigars off the mantelshelf? and now Mrs. Grogram knows all about
-it,--when it happened, where it happened, and how you two took clever
-Mrs. Connor in?”
-
-“Exactly,” said Harry, laughing; “you have quite described it all. I
-have done my best, Milly darling; come home.”
-
-“You’re glad, you two young fools?” said my aunt.
-
-“I should think so! and shouldn’t we be glad?” cried Harry. “If we have
-not a penny between us, we have what is much better. Milly, come.”
-
-“Hush with your Milly, Milly,” said Aunt Connor, “and speak for
-yourself, young man. My poor Connor’s niece, if she is undutiful, shall
-never be said to be penniless. Well, I’ve won the battle. I _will_ tell
-you, for I ought. As sure as she’s standing there in her white frock,
-she has five hundred pounds.”
-
-“Five hundred pounds!” both Harry and I repeated the words with a little
-cry of wonder and delight.
-
-She had said this with a flash of resolution, as if it were quite hard
-to get it out; now she fell suddenly into a strange sort of coaxing,
-persuading tone, which was sadly painful to me just as I was getting to
-like her better; and as she coaxed and grew affectionate she grew vulgar
-too. How strange! I had rather have given her the money than seen her
-humble herself so.
-
-“But it’s out at the best of interest, my dears; what you couldn’t get
-for it elsewhere. Think of five-and-twenty pounds a-year; an income,
-Milly! My child, I’ll undertake to pay you the half year’s interest out
-of my own pocket to help you with your housekeeping; for, of course, you
-would never think of lifting the money, you nor young Langham, with such
-an income coming of it. No, no; let well alone, I say. I would not
-meddle with a penny of it if I were you. Rash young creatures that don’t
-know the value of money, you’d just throw it away; but think what a
-comfort there is in five-and-twenty pounds a-year!”
-
-Harry and I looked at each other; it was as clear as day that she had it
-herself, and did not want to give it up. He was angry; I was only vexed
-and distressed. I never in all my life had thought of money before.
-
-“Five hundred pounds would be very useful to Milly just now, Mrs.
-Connor,” said Harry; “she has not a trousseau, as your daughters would
-have; and I can only give her all I have, which is little enough. At
-least it’s my duty to ascertain all about it; where it is, and what it
-is, and----”
-
-“Oh, what it is! half of it Uncle Connor’s own gift to the ungrateful
-creature--half of it at the very least; and ascertain, to be
-sure!--ascertain, and welcome!--call it in if ye please, and spend it
-all in three weeks, and don’t come to me for help or credit. What do you
-mean, sir? Do ye think it’s anything to me?”
-
-“Oh, Aunt Connor, please don’t be angry. I never had but
-half-a-sovereign all my life,” cried I. “You’ll tell us all about it
-afterwards, to be sure. Harry--I mean Mr. Langham--doesn’t understand.
-But it would be so handy to have some of it. Aunt Connor, don’t you
-think so? Only please don’t be angry. I should like, all out of my own
-head, to spend ten pounds.”
-
-Aunt Connor did not speak, but went to her desk and took something out
-of it that was already prepared--one envelope she gave to Harry and the
-other to me.
-
-“Here is the half year’s dividend of your wife’s little money; it’s just
-come due,” said Aunt Connor, “and here, Milly, dear, is your aunt’s
-wedding-present to you. Now you can have your will, you see, without
-breaking in upon your tiny bit of fortune. See what it is to have
-thoughtful friends.”
-
-For in my envelope there was exactly the sum I wished for--ten pounds.
-
-And what do you suppose I did? Harry standing there as sulky as a
-statue, looking as if he would like to tear up his share and throw it
-into the fire. I was so delighted I ran and threw my arms round her
-neck, and kissed Aunt Connor. I hugged her quite heartily. I did not
-understand five hundred pounds; but I knew I could get something nice
-for Harry, and a new dress and a wedding bonnet, with orange-blossoms,
-out of what she gave me. And she cried, too, and kissed me as if I had
-been her own child; and it was no hypocrisy, whatever you may think.
-Harry snatched me away, and quite turned me out of the room to get my
-bonnet. He looked the sulkiest, most horrid fellow imaginable. I almost
-could have made faces at him as he sent me away; it was our first _real_
-quarrel; but I can’t say I was very much afraid.
-
-When we got out of doors he was quite in a passion with poor Aunt
-Connor. “Kind! what do you mean by kind? why, you’ve been living on your
-own money. I am sure she has not spent more on you, besides making you
-her servant,” cried Harry. “And to take her present! and kiss her--pah!
-I would not do it for a hundred pounds.”
-
-“Nobody asked you, sir,” said I: “but come this way, please Harry, I
-want to look at one shop-window--just one. I saw something there
-yesterday that would just do for me; and now I can afford to buy a
-dress.”
-
-“By Jove!” cried Harry, “what creatures you women are; here we are, on
-as good as our wedding-day, walking home for the first time, and you are
-thinking of the shop-windows! Are you just like all the rest?”
-
-“Oh, indeed, just precisely,” said I. “Ah, Harry, I never was in the
-street before that I felt quite free and yet quite protected and safe.
-Only think of the difference! I am not afraid of anybody or anything
-to-day. I am going home. If you were not so grave and proper I think I
-could dance all the way.”
-
-Harry did not say another word; he held my arm close, and called me by
-my name. My name was Milly darling, to Harry; he said it sounded like
-the turn of an Irish song. He calls me Milly darling still, though we
-have been married two years.
-
-And how pretty he had made that little parlour over Mrs. Grogram’s shop!
-Not a boot about anywhere that I could see, nor the shadow of a cigar;
-clean new muslin curtains up, and flowers on the table; and the landlady
-curtseying, and calling me Mrs. Langham. It was the very first time I
-had heard the name. How odd it sounded! and yet an hour after I should
-have laughed if any one had called me Miss Mortimer, as if that were the
-most absurd thing in the world.
-
-And to make _home_ does not require many rooms or a great deal of
-furniture. I have not a “house of my own” yet, and, perhaps, may not
-have for years. A poor subaltern, with nothing but his pay, when he is
-so foolish as to marry, has to take his wife to lodgings; but the best
-house in the world could not have felt to me a warmer, safer, more
-delightful home than Mrs. Grogram’s parlour above the shop.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-“It is only right, however,” said Harry, “that before we leave we should
-know all that Mrs. Connor can tell us, Milly darling, about your family
-and your relations. Though she’s to have your five hundred pounds, she
-need not have your family archives too.”
-
-“Why, Harry, you almost speak as if you grudged her the five hundred
-pounds!”
-
-“And so I do,” said Harry. “Just now, while I am so poor, it might have
-made you a little comfortable. Please Heaven, after a while, five
-hundred pounds will not matter so much; at least it is to be hoped so.
-If there would only come a war----”
-
-“Harry, you savage! how dare you say so!” cried I.
-
-“Nonsense! what’s the good of a soldier except to fight?” he said.
-“Active service brings promotion, Milly. You would not like to see me a
-subaltern at forty. Better to take one’s chance of getting knocked on
-the head.”
-
-“Ah, it is very easy for you to talk,” said I; “and if I could disguise
-myself and ’list like Lady Fanshawe----”
-
-“’List! you five-foot creature! you could be nothing but a drummer,
-Milly; and besides, Lady Fanshawe did not ’list, she----”
-
-“Never mind, I could contrive as well as she did,” said I. “I could get
-upon stilts or something, and be your man, and never disclose myself
-till I had cut down all your enemies, and brought you safe out of the
-battle, and then fainted in your arms.”
-
-“Pleasant for me,” said Harry; “but I do believe, in spite of romance,
-Fanshawe himself would have given his head to have had his wife safe at
-home that time. Do you think it would be a comfort to a man if he was
-shot down himself to think his wife was there with nobody to take care
-of her? No, Milly darling; the truest love would stay at home and pray.”
-
-“And die,” said I; “I understand it better now. If I were ’listing and
-going after you, it would not be for your sake, Harry, but for my own.
-How do women keep alive, do you think, when those that belong to them
-are at the wars?”
-
-Neither of us knew; but to think of it made us shudder and tremble,--I
-that should have to bear it some day! for the very people in the streets
-said that war was coming on.
-
-“In the meantime let me remind you,” said Harry, “that we’re going to
-Aunt Connor’s to bid them good-bye, and that I mean to ask her all about
-your relations, and get a full history of your family, in case you might
-happen to be a princess in disguise, or a great heiress. By the bye, she
-said something like that. Only don’t be too sanguine, Milly; if there
-had been anything more to get on your account, Aunt Connor would have
-ferreted it out.”
-
-I thought he was rather hard upon her, but could not really say anything
-in her defence. I had myself begged Harry, after two or three talks with
-Aunt Connor about it, not to say any more to her about claiming the five
-hundred pounds. She had only her jointure, poor lady, and could not have
-paid it without ruining herself. And, after all, she had always paid
-Nurse Richards for me, and had kept me, and been kind enough to me. So
-it was settled she was to keep it, and give us the five-and-twenty
-pounds a-year. Not that she would allow, straight out, that she had it.
-She always pretended it was somebody else that paid her the interest,
-and that it was the very best investment in the world, and she wished
-she could get as much for her money. Poor Aunt Connor! her pretence did
-not deceive anybody; but I suppose it was a sort of comfort to herself.
-
-I did not take any part in Harry’s questions at first; it was all I
-could do to answer the girls, who wanted to know all how we were going
-to travel, and everything about it. Patricia brought me down her warm
-cloak that she had worn all last winter. She said, though it wasn’t new,
-it would be a comfortable wrap for the journey, if I would have it; and
-indeed I thought so too, though Harry, I dare say, would have made a
-fuss about it, if I had consulted him. But when Aunt Connor really began
-to talk about poor papa and mamma, I hushed the girls and listened. I
-never had heard anything about them. It was natural it should be very
-interesting to me.
-
-“It was more from hearsay than knowledge, for, of course, Milly’s papa
-was a great deal older than me,” said Aunt Connor, with a little toss of
-her head. “He was forty when he married Maria, my poor Connor’s only
-sister; and she was not very young either; and it went very hard with
-her when Milly there came into the world; but though she died, poor
-soul! he would not call the babe Maria, do what we would, but
-Millicent, because it was the great name in his family. That was how we
-came to hear about his family at all. His head was a little touched,
-poor soul! He said what if she should come into the Park property after
-all, and not be called Milly? He said Millicent Mortimer had been a name
-in the family from the Conquest, or the Restoration, or something; and
-the heiress that wasn’t Millicent had no luck. When he got weakly, he
-maundered on for ever about his family. It was cousins or cousins’
-children had the property, and one of them had jilted him. He used to
-say, in his wandering way, that one would never come to good; _she’d_
-never bring an heir to the property. But whether there were sons, or if
-it was only a lady between him and the estate, or how the rights of it
-were, I could not tell you. We used to think half of it was maundering,
-and my poor dear Connor never put any faith in it. Except Maria Connor
-that married him being not so young as she once was, not a creature
-about knew Mr. Mortimer. He was an Englishman, and not much of a man any
-how. No offence to you, Milly, dear; he was the kind of man that never
-does any good after he’s been jilted; so, if you should happen to meet
-with that cousin of his that did it, you can put out your anger upon
-her. He left no particulars, poor man. I don’t believe it ever came into
-his head that it might really matter for his poor little girl to have
-friends that would help her on in the world. And to be sure, Milly was
-but a year old when papa died.”
-
-“But this was worth taking some pains and making some inquiries about,”
-said Harry. “Where did those friends live? What county did he belong
-to?--you must surely have known.”
-
-“We knew no more than I tell you, Langham, dear. My poor dear Connor, as
-I tell you, never put any faith in it. There’s some books in the house
-belonging to him, that I was always to have sought out and given to
-Milly. I’ll get them to-day, if I can, before you leave. But if you’ll
-trust my opinion, I don’t think it’s the least good in the world. At the
-best, he was but a distant cousin, if all was true, he said; and spoke
-about his little girl proving heir after all, more in spite against her
-that jilted him than anything else. Why, all he had, poor man, did not
-come to but a trifle over five hundred pounds;--I mean--dear! what a
-memory I have!--_three_ hundred pounds, for poor dear Connor put a large
-slice to Milly’s little fortune. Now that’s all I have to tell you. But
-I’ll get Milly her father’s books.”
-
-And I have not the least doubt it was all she had to tell us; every word
-she knew. But that very night we got the books just as we were packing
-up. They were as damp and mouldy as they could be, odd volumes of one
-thing and another; one of Shakespeare, with Richard A. Mortimer written
-in it, and “Haworth” underneath; another was Hudibras; another was an
-old French school copy of Racine, with “Sarah Mortimer, the Park, May,
-1810,” upon it, and in it an old pencil drawing all curled up at the
-edges, and rubbed out in some places, of a great house with trees and
-gardens round it, and a young lady mounting her horse at the door;
-scribbled at the corner of this, in a strange scratchy hand, was a kind
-of little inscription: “Sarah as I saw her last, and the Park--I wonder
-was I in love with them both? R. M.” The last of this was evidently
-written at a later time than the first. But that was all. Not a single
-clue to papa’s grand friends, who they were, or where they were. I dare
-say there are a hundred thousand parks in England, and, unless we could
-find it out from the drawing (which, I am sorry to say, was a very poor
-one. Harry, being disappointed and spiteful, took the pains to point out
-to me that the house was leaning up against the trees, and off the
-perpendicular, and that the young lady was on the wrong side of the
-horse), there seemed no information at all in poor papa’s books. Poor
-papa! it was very cruel of Harry! most likely his heart was breaking
-when he drew “Sarah as I saw her last.” Do you say he might have put her
-on the right side of the horse for all that, you cruel savage? Perhaps
-there were tears in his eyes all the time, Mr. Langham. _You_ are not
-sentimental. I dare say you would not cry if you were looking at _me_
-for the last time. But that has nothing to do with poor papa. I have no
-doubt he must have been a very feeling man.
-
-However, we did not make anything out of the books; and I am sure I
-should not have said half so much about it except that Harry really took
-an interest in it which quite surprised me. I never expected to turn out
-an heiress, nor cared much whether I had grand relations or not; and a
-journey with Harry in that sweet September weather was far too
-delightful to let me think of anything else. It was as good as a wedding
-tour.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-The regiment was ordered to Edinburgh; and it was there we went
-accordingly in that lovely autumn weather. I don’t think Harry quite
-liked to hear me talk of Nurse Richards and the way she brought me up;
-but he was pleased enough to take walks with me all round that castle
-which was the centre of my recollections. At first we used to spend
-every leisure moment we had wandering up and down the steep walks, and
-always pausing to look up at the great precipice of rock. It was like a
-friend to me, rising up out of the soft tiers and green slopes of grass:
-the two churches down at its foot looking so mean and tiny beside it.
-People should not build churches there. I almost think even a great
-noble cathedral would look shabby under the shadow of that rock; and
-only to think of that dreadful West Church and the other one! how they
-can dare venture to stand there and don’t move and crumble down of
-themselves! They would if there was any feeling in stone.
-
-We got our lodgings out to the south of the castle, two nice little cosy
-rooms. It was not a fashionable quarter, to be sure, nor were the rooms
-very grandly furnished; but we had _such_ views from the windows! The
-Castle Rock, with its buildings jutting on the very edge, and yet
-standing so strong and firm; the harsh ridge of the crags behind, and
-the misty lion-head over all, gazing like a sentinel towards the sea.
-And it was not these only, but all the clouds about them. Such dramas
-every day! Now all sweet and serene like happiness; now all thundery and
-ominous like a great misfortune; now brightened up with streaks of home
-and comfort; now settling down leaden-dark, and heavy like death itself,
-or despair. I never was poetical that I know of; but it was like reading
-a very great poem every day to live in that little house at Bruntsfield.
-Harry enjoyed it as much as I did. We lived the very cheapest that ever
-was. We never went out anywhere; for Harry had always a little society
-with his brother officers and at mess, and I had him, and old Mrs.
-Saltoun, our landlady, to talk to when he was away, and was as happy as
-the day was long. All the pleasantest recollections I had as a child
-were connected with this place; and when I looked out of my window at
-night and saw the lights shining up on the top of the Castle Rock, and
-the stars higher still glimmering out above, or the moon revealing out
-of the dark where Arthur’s Seat lay quiet, couched like a sentinel; and
-heard the recall trumpet pealing out high into the clear air, my mind
-used to wander from dear Nurse Richards, and the stories she used to
-tell me, back to my great happiness now. When Harry found me at the
-window crying to myself, he thought I was low-spirited. Low-spirited! I
-was crying for pure happiness; because I was too happy to tell it, or
-put it in words, or show it anyhow else.
-
-All this time we had never heard a single word from Harry’s uncle who
-promised him the present on his birthday. This uncle was the only
-relation he had except some cousins whom he did not know much about. He
-was very near as friendless as I was; only that he remembered his father
-and mother perfectly well, and had been brought up at home, which made a
-great difference. Harry of course had written to his uncle to say what
-had occurred; and he had never answered the letter. He was an old
-bachelor, and rather rich; and if he did not take offence, and nothing
-happened, it had always been supposed that Harry was to be his heir;
-though I did not know this till after we were married and could not
-untie ourselves, however angry any one might be.
-
-One day, however, Harry came home to me with a wonderful face. I could
-not tell, though I knew what his face meant pretty well by this time,
-what it was that day; whether he was angry, or disappointed, or vexed,
-or only bursting with laughter. It turned out he was all of them
-together. He tossed a letter on the table, and laughed and stamped his
-foot, as if he did not quite know what he was doing.
-
-“By Jove, it’s too absurd!” cried Harry; for I could not get him to
-leave off that stupid exclamation: but I thought it must be a little
-serious too, as well as absurd, by the look in his eye.
-
-And what should it be but a letter from his uncle, declaring that,
-though nothing else would have induced him to do such a thing, yet, to
-punish Harry’s rashness and presumption, he had made up his mind to a
-step which everybody assured him was the most prudent thing he could do,
-and which it was only a pity he had not thought of sooner; this was, in
-short, that he had married as well as Harry. Enclosed his nephew would
-find cards addressed to his new wife: and, as for the expenses of such
-an undertaking, he assured Harry that it would be ridiculous to look
-for any assistance to a man in similar circumstances with himself. On a
-clear understanding of which he could certainly afford to wish his
-nephew joy,--but nothing else,--for he meant now to have heirs of his
-own.
-
-Harry stared at me while I read this letter with a sort of angry fun and
-indignation in his face, which would turn either one way or another, I
-could see, according to how I received it. I cannot say I was the least
-disappointed. I threw down the letter, and clapped my hands and laughed.
-It was the most whimsical letter you could imagine; and, as for the
-birthday present, or any other assistance to us, I had never looked for
-it since Harry wrote what we had done.
-
-“Weel, weel, it’s no ill news, that’s a comfort. But, Captain, you
-maunna come in rampaging and disturbing the lady when we’re no looking
-for you,” said Mrs. Saltoun, who had been sitting with me. “Now I’ll
-gang my ways ben the house; and you ken where to find me, Mrs. Langham,
-my dear, when you want me again.”
-
-I had it on my lips to beg her not to go away, but stopped in time, for
-Harry naturally, though he likes her very well, does not take comfort in
-the good old lady as I do. When she was gone he laughed out again, but a
-little abruptly, and not as if he felt particularly happy about the
-news.
-
-“Why, Harry, what’s the matter; did you expect anything?” said I.
-
-“Well, not exactly, to be sure,” said Harry, with a half-ashamed look;
-“except the first moment when I recognised the old fellow’s handwriting.
-I did think it would be pleasant, Milly darling, to get some little
-comforts about you just now.”
-
-“I have quantities of comforts,” said I; “and such a jewel of an old
-lady to look after me when you are away. There is nobody in the world so
-lucky as me.”
-
-“Lucky!” said Harry, with a little shout. “If you should turn out a
-great heiress to be sure; that’s always a possible contingency,
-according to your Aunt Connor. Otherwise, with all sorts of things going
-to happen to us, and only my subaltern’s pay----”
-
-“Mr. Langham, you forget my five-and-twenty pounds a year!” cried I.
-
-And how do you think the savage answered me? “The old witch!” exclaimed
-Harry, “to think of her stopping your simple mouth with that ten pounds!
-I’d have seen her ducked, or burned, or whatever they do to witches,
-before I’d have taken it!--and cheating you out of your little morsel of
-fortune! How long do you suppose you’ll get your five-and-twenty
-pounds?”
-
-“As long as poor Aunt Connor can pay it,” said I. “Things might come in
-the way to be sure; but she _means_ to pay it regularly, and always will
-when she can. What makes you so discontented, Harry? We have enough for
-to-day, and God knows all about to-morrow.”
-
-“Ah, yes! but He’s far off, Milly, to a poor fellow like me. How can I
-tell that He cares much what’s to become of us,--unless, indeed, it were
-for your sake.”
-
-“Oh, Harry, Harry! how dare you say so!” cried I. “And see how good He
-has been to us two orphans. Neither of us had any home or any one
-belonging to us; and only look round you _now_!”
-
-Do you think it was not very much that he had to look round upon?--a
-little room, low-roofed, and humbly furnished. It was nothing to any
-other man or woman in the world; but we were two of us together in it,
-and it was our home. Could I help but cry when I thought how different I
-was from Aunt Connor’s niece in the nursery? And Harry was just as
-thankful as I was, though he had his little pretences of grumbling like
-this now and then. Does anybody think he was really anxious, either
-about his uncle’s present that was never to come now, or my five hundred
-pounds that was not much more to be relied on, or what was to happen to
-us? No! he was no more anxious than I was; only now and then he
-pretended to make a little fuss about it, and to be wanting something
-better for me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-We were nearly two years in Edinburgh; and it was there, of course, that
-baby Harry came into the world. He made a great difference in many
-things. I could not go out to walk with Harry any longer; I could not
-even sit and talk with him so much, and, however economical I was, it
-could not be denied that already three of us cost more than two of us
-had done. It is strange enough, but still it is true, baby, bless him,
-brought thorns upon the roses that came with him into the world. Harry
-had not lived in a family since his father died long ago; he had lived a
-young man’s life, and had his own fastidious fancies like (I suppose)
-most young men. He was very much delighted when baby came, but he was
-not so much delighted when baby was always with us, and occupying almost
-all my time and attention; and it fretted him when he saw traces about
-that once nice cosy sitting-room, which was nursery now as well as
-dining-room and drawing-room; even baby’s basket, all trimmed with white
-muslin and pink ribbons, which he thought very pretty at first, annoyed
-him now when he saw it about; and when I had to stop talking to him in
-order to see after baby, he would first laugh, then bite his lip, then
-whistle, then go to the window, and after a while say he had better
-smoke his cigar outside while I was so busy. I dare say this cost me a
-few tears, for of course I thought there was no occupation in the world
-so sweet as nursing baby, and was sadly disappointed just at first that
-Harry could not be content to watch his pretty ways every moment as I
-did; however, I had to make up my mind to it. And as it was my business
-to mind Harry as well as his son, I had to think it all over in my mind
-what was to be done. It was hard work considering what was best; for to
-think of getting a servant upon our small means went to my very heart.
-At last one day I formed a great resolution, and took Mrs. Saltoun into
-my confidence.
-
-“Here is how it is,” said I, “I must have a maid to help me with baby
-when Mr. Langham is at home. Men can’t understand things; they think it
-so odd to see one always with a baby on one’s lap; especially when they
-have not been accustomed to anything of the sort. Mrs. Saltoun, I shall
-be obliged to have a maid.”
-
-“I told you so, my dear, the very day the lammie was born,” said Mrs.
-Saultoun; “but I’m one that never presses my advice. I know experience
-is far more effectual than anything I can say.”
-
-“But look here--I can’t afford it--it’s a disgrace to think of such a
-thing with our small means, while I am perfectly strong and quite able
-to take care of him myself; but what can I do?” said I.
-
-“My dear,” said Mrs. Saltoun, “poverty’s dreadful, and debt is worse;
-but it’s heaviest of all the three to make a young married man
-discontented with his ain house. Dinna be affronted; I’m no saying a
-word! the Captain’s just extraordinary; but he’s no the lad to be second
-to the baby for a’ that; and it’s nothing to sigh about. Thae’s just the
-kind of troubles every woman has to set her face to, as sure’s she’s
-born. My dear, however much ye canna afford, you’ll have to contrive.”
-
-“Well, I have been thinking. If you will promise faithfully never to
-tell anybody, and keep my secret, and above everything, whatever you do,
-never let Harry know!” cried I.
-
-“I’ll promise,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “but I’ll not promise to give my
-consent unless it’s feasible and in reason; and no unbecoming the
-Captain’s bonnie young wife.”
-
-“The Captain’s wife!--ah, if he were only the Captain!--but he’s just a
-subaltern yet,” said I; “however, you will be disappointed if you think
-I am meaning anything great. I can’t do anything to bring in money, and
-I am sure Harry would not let me if I could. No--it’s only--oh, Mrs.
-Saltoun, if you would help me!--I could get up all the linen myself. I
-_can_ do it, though you may not think so. All Harry’s things that he is
-so particular about, the laundress here never pleases him; and baby’s
-frocks. I think if you would contrive to help me, I could save so many
-shillings a week. I’ll do those pretty collars of yours and your fine
-caps, and you shall see how pretty they’ll look.”
-
-“But your pretty bits of hands, my dear?” said Mrs. Saltoun; “a small
-matter of work betrays itself on a lady’s hands that’s not used to do
-anything. They would let out your secret, however well I kept it. What
-would you do with your hands?”
-
-“But it will not hurt my hands--such beautiful clean work--it is quite a
-lady’s work,” said I; “and then I can put gloves on when I am done, and
-get some of the kalydor stuff. Besides, it will be only one day in the
-week.”
-
-Mrs. Saltoun sat thinking it over, but she could not say a single word
-against it. If I couldn’t have done it, it might have been slow work
-learning; but I had a genius for it! Ah, hadn’t I ironed out Aunt
-Connor’s lace much oftener than the clear-starcher did! So here was
-something at once that could be saved; and nobody knows how dreadful the
-laundress’s bill is when there’s a baby in the house; so now I thought I
-might venture to try and look for a maid.
-
-“My great terror was you were thinking of giving lessons, or selling
-some trumpery of fancy work, begging your pardon, my dear,” said Mrs.
-Saltoun; “for the young ladies now-a-days would a’ break their necks to
-_make_ money, before they would take a step out of their road to save
-it; and indeed, you’re not far wrong that clear-starching is lady’s
-work. It takes nice fingers, dainty, clean, and light. I was in an awfu’
-fright it was lessons on the piano, or handscreens to take into the
-Repository. But it’s really very reasonable for a young creature of your
-years; if you’re quite clear in your own mind you can take the
-responsibility of shirts. Of all the things I’ve seen in my life I canna
-remember that I ever saw a man what you could call perfectly pleased.”
-
-“I am not afraid about that; but remember, you have promised solemnly,
-upon your honour,” said I, “never, whatever you do, to tell Harry!”
-
-“I’ll keep my word. But what put it into your head, a sensible young
-woman like you, to go and run away with the like of a young sodger
-officer, that everybody knows have scarcely enough for themselves, let
-alone a wife? And if it’s hard work now, what will it be when you’ve a
-large family? and how will you ever live or keep your heart if he goes
-to war?”
-
-“Mrs. Saltoun, don’t speak!” cried I; “what is the use of making me
-miserable? He is not going to the war to-day. It is not certain there is
-to be a war at all. Why do you put such dreadful things in my mind? If
-he goes I’ll have to bear it like the other soldiers’ wives; but do you
-suppose I have strength to bear it now beforehand, before the time? God
-does not promise anybody so much. If such a dreadful, dreadful thing
-should be, I’ll get strength for it that day.”
-
-The good old lady did not say a word, but stroked my hand that was
-resting on the table in a kind of comforting, coaxing way. I looked up
-very much alarmed, but I could not see anything particular in her face.
-I suppose she was sorry for me only in a general sort of way; because I
-was young, and poor, and just beginning my troubles. So strange! I was
-pitying her all the same for being old, and nearly at the end of hers.
-How different things must seem at that other end of the road! Some of
-her children were dead, some married, close at hand so far as space was
-concerned, but far distant lost in their own life. I dare say when she
-liked she could go back into memory and be again a young wife like me,
-or an anxious middle-aged mother like her own daughter-in-law--and here
-it had ended, leaving her all alone. But she was very cheerful and
-contented all the same.
-
-Harry came in while I was busy with planning about my new maid. After I
-had decided that she would have to sleep somewhere, and wondered why
-neither Mrs. Saltoun nor myself had ever thought of that, I had begun to
-wonder what sort of a person I should get; whether, perhaps, she would
-be a dear good friend-servant, or one of the silly girls one hears
-about. If she were a silly girl, even, there might be good in her. But
-here Harry came in, and my thoughts were all dissipated. He looked a
-little excited, and had a paper in his hand, out of which he seemed just
-about to read me something. Then he paused all at once, looked first at
-me and then at baby’s cradle, and his face clouded all over. I got
-terribly alarmed; I rushed up to him and begged him to tell me, for
-pity, what it was.
-
-“It’s nothing but fancy,” said Harry. “I was going to tell you great
-news, my Milly darling; but it came over me, somehow, what you would do,
-and who would take care of you if you should be left alone with your
-baby; even though I were not killed.”
-
-“God would take care of us,” I cried out sharp, being in a kind of
-agony. “Say it out--you are going to the war?”
-
-“No, no; nothing of the sort; only look here. It has thrown us all into
-great excitement; but we are not under orders, nor like to be,” said
-Harry. “Don’t tremble--we are all safe yet, you foolish Milly. Look
-here.”
-
-Though I was leaning upon him, and he held the paper before my eyes, I
-could not read a word. But I guessed what it was. It was the
-Proclamation of War.
-
-“Come out with me and hear it read at the Cross. It is to be done at
-twelve o’clock. Come,” said Harry, coaxing and soothing me; “it is
-something to see. Pluck up a heart, Milly! Come and hear it
-courageously, like a soldier’s wife. But, oh! I forgot baby,” he said,
-stopping short all at once with a soft of half-annoyed laugh.
-
-“Baby shan’t prevent me this time,” I cried; for what between this
-dreadful news and the excitement in Harry’s mind, and the sudden way he
-stopped when he recollected I couldn’t rightly go out with him, I was
-desperate. “Mrs. Saltoun will keep him till I come back; and he will not
-wake, perhaps, for an hour.”
-
-The old lady came when I asked her; and was quite pleased to sit down by
-the cradle while I tied on my bonnet with my trembling hands. Harry was
-very kind--very pleased. We went along winding up the steep paths,
-through the gardens to the Castle, my favourite walk, and into that
-long, grand, noisy old street with the yellow haze lingering between the
-deep houses, down the long slope towards Holyrood. I could see the
-people clearly enough about the streets, the little groups all clustered
-about the outside stairs, and the stir of something going to happen. But
-I could not look at the official people coming to say it again and make
-it more certain. If the trumpet had been a gun and killed somebody, my
-heart could scarcely have leaped more. Harry’s cheek flushed up; and I
-could almost fancy I felt the blood stir and swell in the arm I was
-leaning on. He was a soldier, and he forgot me as he held up his head
-and listened. Just then I could not hold up my head. The trumpet sounded
-to me, somehow, as if it came lonely out of the distance over some
-battle where men were dying who had wives and babies at home. A woman
-stood before me crying, and drew my attention for a moment. She dared
-say out what was in her heart, because, though perhaps she was no
-poorer, she was not a lady like me. “Eh, weary on them! it’s your man
-and my man that’s to pay for their fancies,” she was saying among her
-tears. “Glad! do ye ask me to be glad at sound o’ war? If our regiment
-doesna gang the day, it’ll gang _some_ day. I’ve five weans that canna
-fend for themsels’, and I’m a sodger’s wife. God help us a’!” I dropped
-my veil over my face to hide my eyes from Harry, and slid my hand out of
-his arm--he, all excited in his soldier-mind, scarcely knowing it--to
-speak to my neighbour who had spoken to my heart. I had nothing to give
-her but my hand and my own troubled fellow-feeling, too deep and sore to
-be called sympathy. “For I am a soldier’s wife, too; and God help us, as
-you say!” I cried in her ear. She wiped off her tears, poor soul, to
-look at me as Harry drew me away. She and the other woman with her
-whispered about us as we went away through the crowd. They forgot their
-own anxiety to pity “the poor young thing, the young lieutenant’s wife.”
-I know they did, the kind creatures; for one of them said so another
-day.--God help us all, soldiers’ wives!
-
-“But do you know this is like a little coward, Milly darling,” said
-Harry, as we walked home, when he found I could not speak, “and foolish
-as well. _We_ are not going to the wars.”
-
-“If you are not going to-day, you will go some day,” I cried, with a
-sob. She said true, poor soul; I felt it in my heart.
-
-“To be sure we shall,” said Harry; “and you care neither for glory nor
-promotion, nor to have your husband do his duty, you poor-spirited
-Milly! But you can’t act Lady Fanshawe now; you will have baby to
-comfort you at home.”
-
-“Do you mean that you are going?” cried I.
-
-“Hush, hush! why this is like a child. I am not going. But, Milly,
-understand; if I don’t go some day, I shall be wretched. Make up your
-mind; you are a soldier’s wife.”
-
-So I went home with this in my heart. Oh, my poor little economies, my
-little vulgar cares about the housekeeping! And perhaps he was going
-away from me to be killed. But hush, hush! I could not be Lady Fanshawe
-any more, now that there were three of us in the world; and Harry said
-the truest love would stay at home and pray.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-The very next day after that, while I was singing baby to sleep, sitting
-all alone by the fire, there was a soft knock at the door. I said, “Come
-in!” thinking it was Mrs. Saltoun, when there suddenly appeared before
-me a figure as different as possible from the nice little cosy figure of
-our good old landlady. This was an overgrown girl, fourteen or
-thereabouts, in the strangest scanty dress. A printed cotton frock, very
-washed out and dingy, so short as to leave a large piece of legs,
-clothed in blue-grey stockings, uncomfortably visible; very red arms
-that somewhat looked as if they were all elbow and fingers; a great
-checked blue and white pinafore, much washed out like the frock, into
-the breast of which the hands wore thrust now and then by way of relief
-to the awkwardness of their owner; hair disposed to be red, and
-superabundant in quantity, thrust back as far as was practicable under
-the shade of a queer big bonnet, not only a full-sized woman’s bonnet,
-but one ten years old, and made in the dimensions common at that distant
-period. She stood at the door looking at me in a perfect agony of
-innocent awkwardness, shuffling one foot over the other, twisting her
-red fingers, holding down her bashful head, but all the time staring
-with wistful eyes at baby and myself, and so sincere a look of awe and
-admiration that of course I was touched by it. She did not say a word,
-but dropped a foolish curtsey, and grew violently red standing at the
-door. I could not think what such a strange apparition wanted with me.
-
-“What do you want, my good girl?” said I at last.
-
-“The mistress said I might come,” with another curtsey. Then, after a
-violent effort, “They said you was wanting a lass.”
-
-A lass! Here she was then, the first applicant for the new situation of
-baby’s personal attendant! Oh dear, what a spectre! I had to pause a
-little before I could answer her. Really, though I was not much disposed
-to laughter, the idea was too ludicrous to be treated gravely.
-
-“Yes, I want a lass;’ but not one so young as you,” said I. “I want
-somebody who can take care of my baby. Who sent you to me?”
-
-“The mistress said I might come,” answered the apparition; “I can keep
-wee babies fine.”
-
-“You can keep wee babies fine! How old are you?” cried I.
-
-“I’m just fourteen since I was born, but some folk count different. I’m
-awfu’ auld other ways,” said my extraordinary visitor, with a kind of
-grotesque sigh.
-
-The creature roused my interest with her odd answers and wistful round
-eyes. “Shut the door and come here,” said I. “Do you know me? and what
-tempted you to think _you_ could do for my servant? Were you ever in a
-place before?”
-
-“No; but I’ve seen you gaun by, the Captain and you, and I would be
-awfu’ glad if you would let me come. There’s plenty things I can do if I
-could get leave to try,” cried the girl with a wonderful commotion in
-her voice. “I’ve nursed bairns since ever I was a bairn myself, and I
-can wash, and I can sew. Oh, leddy, tak me! I’ll no eat very much, and I
-dinna want no wage; and I’ll learn everything you tell me, for the
-mistress says I’m awfu’ quick at learning; and I’ll serve you hand and
-foot, nicht and day!”
-
-“But, my poor girl,” said I, quite amazed by this burst of eloquence,
-“why do you want so much to come to me?”
-
-Upon this another extraordinary change came upon my would-be maid. She
-fidgeted about, she blushed fiery red, she thrust her red hands into the
-bosom of her pinafore, she stood upon one heavy foot, making all sorts
-of wonderful twists and contortions with the other. At last in gulps,
-and with every demonstration of the most extreme confusion and
-shame-facedness, burst forth the following avowal. “Oh! because you’re
-rael bonnie; and you smile--and oh, I would like to come!”
-
-It was an extraordinary kind of flattery, certainly; but I felt my
-cheeks flush up, and I cannot deny my heart was touched. I remember too,
-when I was a little girl, taking fancies to people; I believe I might
-have fallen in love with a lady and gone and offered myself to be her
-servant, as likely as not if I could have done it. The uncouth creature
-no more meant to flatter me than to offend me. She was deeply ashamed of
-having made her confession. Her shame, and her admiration, and her
-passionate childish feeling quite went to my heart.
-
-“You are a very strange girl,” said I. “What is your name, and where do
-you live? and do your parents know what you want with me?”
-
-“They ca’ me Leczie Bayne. My father died six months since,” said the
-girl, falling into a kind of vacant tone after her excitement, as if
-this account of herself was something necessary to go through, but not
-otherwise interesting. “I never had any mother, only a stepmother, and
-lots of little bairns. She’s gaun back to her ain place, among her
-friends, and I’m to be left, for I’ve naebody belonging to me. We live
-down the road, and I used ay to see you gaun by. Whiles you used to
-smile at me, no thinking; but I ay minded. And the folk said you we’re
-awfu’ happy with the Captain, and had a kind look for everybody,--and
-oh, leddy, I’ve naebody belonging to me!”
-
-I could have cried for her as she stood there, awkward, before the
-little fire, with great blobs of tears dropping off her cheeks, rubbing
-them away with her poor red hands. I knew no more how to resist her, in
-that appeal she made to my happiness, than if I had been a child like a
-baby in my lap. The tears came into my eyes, in spite of myself. In the
-impulse of the moment I had nearly broken forth and confided to her my
-terror and grief about Harry, and this dreadful war that was beginning.
-She took possession of me, like the soldier’s wife, with a nearer fellow
-feeling than sympathy. Poor, forlorn, uncouth creature, she stood before
-me like my old self, strangely transmogrified, but never to be denied. I
-could not answer her--for what could I say? Could I cast her off, poor
-child, led by the instincts of her heart to me of all people? And oh
-dear, dear, what a ridiculous contrast to all the passionate, elevated
-feeling of her story, could I take her all in her checked pinafore and
-blue stockings, a pathetic grotesque apparition, to be baby’s nurse and
-my little maid?
-
-There never was a harder dilemma: and imagination, you may be sure, did
-its very best to make things worse, by bringing up before me the pretty,
-tidy, fresh little maid I had been dreaming of, with a white apron and a
-little cap, and plump arms to hold my baby in. What could I do? and oh,
-if I could not resist my fate, what would Harry say to me? How he would
-shrug his shoulders and admire my good taste; how he would look at her
-in his curious way as if she were a strange animal; how he would laugh
-at me and my soft heart! I got quite restless as the creature stood
-there opposite to me, twisting her poor foot and clasping her hands hard
-as she thrust them into the bosom of her pinafore. I could not stand
-against her wistful eyes. I grew quite desperate looking at her. Could I
-ever trust my child in those long red arms that looked all elbow--and
-yet how could I send her away?
-
-“Lizzie, my poor girl,” cried I, remonstrating, “don’t you see I am
-very, very sorry for you? But look here now: my baby is very young, not
-three months old, and I could never dare trust him to a young girl like
-you. You must see that very well, a girl with so much sense; and
-besides, I want somebody who knows how to do things. I don’t think I
-could teach you myself; and besides----”
-
-Here I fairly broke down, stopped by the flood of arguments which rose
-one after another, not to be defeated, in Lizzie’s round anxious eyes.
-
-“But I dinna need to learn,” she cried out whenever my voice faltered
-and gave her a chance. “I ken! I would keep that bonnie baby from
-morning to night far sooner than play; if practice learns folk, I’ve
-been learning and learning a’ my life; and I’m that careful I would
-rather break every joint in a’ my body than have a scratch on his little
-finger; and I can hem that you wouldna see the stitches; and I can sing
-to him when he’s wakin’, and redd up the house when he’s in his bed. I’m
-no telling lees; and I’ll serve you on my knees, and never have a
-thought but how to please you, oh, leddy, if you’ll let me come!”
-
-Could I resist that? I do not believe Harry himself could if he had
-heard her. I gave in because I could not help myself. I did it in shame
-and desperation, but what could I do? She was too many for me.
-
-“Go down stairs and ask Mrs. Saltoun to come up,” said I.
-
-She went off in a moment, almost before I could look up, and vanished
-out of the room without any noise--I suppose because of the high
-excitement the poor child was in. Mrs. Saltoun came up rather flurried,
-casting very strange looks at Lizzie. When I saw the dear prim old lady
-beside that extraordinary creature, and saw the looks she cast at her,
-the ludicrous part of it seized hold upon me, and I was seized with such
-a fit of laughing that I could scarcely speak.
-
-“Mrs. Saltoun,” said I, “I don’t know really what you will think of me.
-I am going to take her for my maid.”
-
-Mrs. Saltoun looked at me and looked at Lizzie, who made her a curtsey.
-She thought I had gone out of my senses. “It’s to be hoped it’s for
-_lady’s_ maid and not for bairn’s maid then,” she said, with dreadful
-sarcasm. If Mrs. Saltoun was so severe, what would Harry say.
-
-“She is an orphan and all alone; and she says she understands about
-children,” said I, humbly, in self-defence.
-
-“Oh, if you please, I can keep bairns fine,” said Lizzie; “if ye’ll ask
-the neebors they’ll a’ tell; and oh, if the leddy will try me, dinna
-turn her against me again! I’m no a lassie in mysel. I’m awfu’ auld in
-mysel. Afore harm would come to the baby I would die.”
-
-“And, my lass, what good would it do the lady if ye were to die,” said
-Mrs. Saltoun entering the lists, “after maybe killin’ her bonnie bairn?”
-
-“I would a’ fa’ in pieces first!” cried Lizzie. “I would let them burn
-spunks in my fingers, or crush my feet as they did langsyne; there’s no
-a creature in the world I wouldna fecht and fell afore harm came to the
-wean!”
-
-Mrs. Saltoun was not prepared for such an address; nor for the true
-fire of enthusiasm and valour that burned through Lizzie’s tears; but
-she did not give in. I had the satisfaction to look on and listen while
-the old lady demonstrated in the clearest way that she would never do,
-without any particular regard for her feelings; and then quietly enjoyed
-the triumph when Lizzie burst forth upon Mrs. Saltoun, and in two
-minutes routed her, horse and foot. Half an hour after Mrs. Saltoun and
-I sat contriving what dress could be got up on the spur of the moment to
-make the creature presentable; and that very night, while Harry was at
-mess, she sat in the little kitchen downstairs helping to make up a
-fresh new printed dress for herself in a fashion which justified part of
-her assertions, and with a rapidity which I could explain only under the
-supposition that excitement had still forcible possession of her. I
-confess I was myself a little excited; though she was only a girl of
-fourteen and a servant, not to say the most grotesque and
-awkward-looking person imaginable, it is wonderful what an effect this
-sudden contact with so strange and characteristic a creature immediately
-had. My fears about the war faded off for the moment. I could not help
-being quite occupied with thoughts about the new-comer:--whether, after
-all, I ever would venture to trust baby with her,--what Harry would say
-when he saw that odd apparition;--whether I had only been very
-foolish;--whether I might have resisted. Lizzie Bayne had made herself
-the heroine of that night.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-Two days after, when Lizzie made her appearance with a decently made
-dress, long enough and wide enough to suit her stature, whatever might
-be her age; with a clean collar, a white apron, and smooth hair, she
-looked quite presentable. I cannot say she was good-looking; but,
-undeniably, she looked a capable creature, and with her lively brown
-eyes, good colour, and clear complexion might improve even in looks by
-and by. But nobody could do anything for that grotesque awkwardness,
-which belonged to Lizzie’s age, perhaps, rather than to herself. She
-still stood upon one foot, and twisted the other round the leg that
-supported her. She worked uneasily with her big hands, making vain
-efforts to thrust them into the pinafore which recent improvements had
-swept away; and she still hung her head in agonies of awkwardness and
-self-consciousness. A creature so sensitively aware of observation, how
-could she be trusted with the most precious baby in the world? I
-repeated this five hundred times the first morning; but never once after
-I had fairly ventured to place the child in her arms.
-
-“What on earth is that sprite doing here? Has Mrs. Saltoun taken her in,
-or where does she come from?” said Harry the first day. I felt quite
-piqued and affronted. I felt myself bound to defend her with all the
-earnestness in the world.
-
-“Sprite! What do you mean? Why, that is my new maid, Henry, that I told
-you of; and a capital maid she is,” said I, firing up with all the
-consciousness of not having taken the wisest step in the world.
-
-“Your new maid!” And Harry said, “Oh!” in the most aggravating manner in
-the world. I am obliged to confess that Lizzie’s arrival, so much out of
-the ordinary way, and the excitement of getting her up, of making her
-fit to appear, and of testing her qualities, had very much aroused my
-mind out of the heavy thoughts I had been entertaining a few days ago;
-so that I was no longer so subdued nor so entirely devoted to Harry but
-what I could be provoked with him now and then.
-
-“There is nothing to cry out about; she is rather young, to be sure, and
-not the most graceful figure in the world; but she’s good and grateful,
-poor child, and I am quite content.”
-
-“You must recollect though, Milly, that we can’t afford to keep anybody
-for charity,” said Harry; “she does not look very gainly; and if she
-can’t save you the half of your present trouble, I’ll turn out a tyrant,
-I warn you, and send her away.”
-
-“I am quite the best judge, you may be sure,” said I, with a little
-internal tremor; “and I tell you I am satisfied. If you attempt to be
-tyrannical, it is you who shall be sent away.”
-
-“Ah, Milly darling, how’s that! I shall be sent away soon enough,” said
-Harry, with a little sigh. “I have been thinking that all over since we
-talked of it the other day. What, you’ve forgot, have you, Milly? Thank
-heaven! I was only afraid you were fretting over it, and thinking where
-I should send you to be safe when the time came and I had to go away.”
-
-“Oh, Harry, how cruel!” said I. “I had got it out of my mind just then.
-Now, I shall never forget it again. And where could you send me? What
-would it matter, except to be near at hand for the post, and get the
-earliest news.”
-
-“Unless you were to go to your Aunt Connor; poor Milly,” said he with a
-pitiful look at me.
-
-“Have you got your orders?” cried I, clasping my hands.
-
-He said, “Nonsense!” getting up hurriedly. “Indeed, Milly, you must
-consider this question without thinking it is all over the moment I
-speak of it; and don’t burden yourself with an unsuitable maid. You
-know, whether we go to the Crimea or not, we are likely very soon to go
-somewhere. The regiment cannot be long here.”
-
-“Then, Harry, if there is nothing certain don’t let us talk of it,” said
-I; “when one’s heart is to be broken, one cannot keep always
-anticipating the moment.” “Don’t make any arrangements; when it comes,
-that will be time enough. I shall care about nothing but letters. So
-long as I can have letters I shall do.”
-
-Harry stayed, lingering about me before he went out. “I am not so sure
-that the Lady Fanshawe idea is a foolish one after all,” he said after
-awhile. “What fetters you put a man into, you wives and babes! I wish I
-only knew somebody that would be very good to you if I have to go away.
-Nineteen! and to be left all by yourself in the world! It’s hard work,
-Milly, to be a soldier’s wife.”
-
-“If you don’t mean anything particular--if there’s no orders come--have
-pity on me, and don’t talk, Harry!” I cried out. “When you must go, I’ll
-bear it. I shall do as well as the other soldiers’ wives. I can never be
-all by myself as long as you are in the world, though you should be ten
-thousand miles away. Don’t talk of it. I shall get strength when the day
-comes; but the day has not come nor the strength; don’t put me to
-needless torture, Harry.”
-
-“I won’t,” he said again, with that little sigh, and went away leaving
-me very miserable. Oh! if all this happy life were to finish and come to
-an end. If I was to waken up some dreadful morning and find him gone,
-and all the light gone out like the light in a dream! I durst not think
-upon it. I got up and rushed about my little occupations. Lizzie came
-upstairs when I was taking baby, who had just woke from his morning
-sleep, out of the cradle. She stood, shy and doubtful, looking at me,
-seeing in a moment that I was not so cheerful as usual. Poor child, with
-a strange self-recollection that was quite natural, but seemed very odd
-to me, she thought she had something to do with it. Her countenance fell
-directly. She came sidling up to me with her heart in her face. Mrs.
-Saltoun had taught her some faint outlines of common conventional
-civility, and succeeded in substituting “mem” for “leddy” in her style
-of address. She came up to me accordingly, with the tears ready to
-start, and every sign of grieved disappointment and restrained eagerness
-in her face. “Oh, mem,” cried Lizzie, “have I been doing wrong? Are you
-no pleased wi’ me?” The words went to my heart, I cannot tell how. It
-made me see more clearly than a dozen sermons how we were every one of
-us going about in a private little world of our own. To think that her
-shortcomings, the innocent grotesque creature, should throw me into such
-trouble! What a strange unconscious self-estimation that was not
-selfishness! In spite of myself, the load at my heart lightened, when I
-smiled up at the girl.
-
-“Lizzie,” said I on the impulse of the moment, not thinking that I might
-perhaps wound her; “if we did not suit each other, should we quite break
-our hearts?”
-
-Lizzie coloured high, made a momentary pause, and dropped her queer
-curtsey, “Eh no, mem, no you; I couldn’t expect it,” said Lizzie, with a
-long sigh. Then, after another pause: “If it was a’ to turn out a dream
-after twa haill days; and, to be sure, it’s three days coming; but if it
-was a’ to come to naething after a’ this,” smoothing down her new dress,
-“and a’ the thoughts I’ve had in my mind, eh me! I think I would have
-nae heart ony mair either to break or bind.”
-
-Now, perhaps there was not very much in these words; but they were so
-exactly what I had been thinking myself, that they seemed to make a new
-link between me and my odd child-maid.
-
-“That is just what I have been thinking--but with far, far more reason,”
-said I; “for, oh, Lizzie! war’s proclaimed, and Mr. Langham may have to
-leave me; it might happen any day; and what should I do alone?”
-
-“Oh, mem, dinna greet!” said Lizzie loudly: “dinna let tears fa’ on the
-wee baby; but I ken what you would do. Just nurse the bairn, and pray
-the Lord, and wait. If you were sending me awa’, it would be never to
-come back again; but if the Captain gangs to the wars he’ll come hame a
-great general; maybe he would have a ribbon at his breast and a Sir at
-his name!” cried Lizzie, glowing up suddenly. “Eh, wouldna we a’ be
-proud! You might weary whiles, but the Captain would never forget you,
-nor be parted in his heart, if he was ten thousand miles away.”
-
-“You strange little witch,” said I, crying, with the strangest feeling
-of comfort, “you say the very words that come into my heart!”
-
-The creature gave me a bright affectionate look, with tears in her brown
-eyes. “And please can I take baby out for a walk?” she said, immediately
-falling back into her own department, with her little bob of a curtsey.
-“I’ll gang before the windows to let you see how careful I am. It’s the
-bonniest morning ever was. Eh, mem, if you’re pleased, I’ll ay see the
-sun shining,” cried my nursery-maid.
-
-And I actually did trust her with my precious baby, and stood at the
-window watching her with breathless anxiety and satisfaction for a whole
-hour, afraid to lose sight of her for a moment. Steady as a judge walked
-Lizzie, grand and important in her “charge,” disdaining the passing
-appeals of “neighbours,” marching along on the sunny side of the
-way--for it was already cold enough to make that necessary--shading the
-child’s eyes with such adroit changes of his drapery and her own,
-preserving him from the wind at the corners, and picking her steps over
-the unequal road with such care and devotion, that I could have run
-downstairs and kissed her on the spot. The sight, somehow, drove half
-the bitterness of my thoughts out of my head. The sky was clear with
-that “shining after rain” which has so much hope and freshness in it.
-The wind was brisk, with plenty of floating clouds to knock about.
-Before us, in the clear air, the castle rock looked almost near enough
-to have touched it, with the sun shining on its bold grey front, and all
-those white puffs of clouds blowing against and around it, like heavenly
-children at their play. How it stood there, everlasting! How the sun
-smiled and caressed those old walls where Harry was, and warmed and
-brightened the cheerful bit of road where, to and fro, before my eyes,
-unconscious in his baby state, went Harry’s son. Ah, me! to-day is
-to-day, if one were to die to-morrow. I was too young to grope about for
-darkness to come, and lose the good of this beautiful hour. Besides,
-does not the good Lord know all about to-morrow? Beginning and end of
-it, one thing with another, it pleases Him. Presently we shall have it,
-and strength for it. So, away till your time, you dark hour! just now it
-is not God, but an enemy who sends you. The light is sweet, and it is a
-pleasant thing to behold the sun.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-When Harry came home that evening, I knew he had something to tell me;
-but after the first start was over, I felt sure it was not anything
-painful from the look of his face. I may venture to say now that he was
-a very handsome young man in those days; but the thing that first drew
-my heart to him was the way he always betrayed himself with his face.
-Whatever he was feeling or thinking, you could tell it by his eyes; and
-if he sometimes happened to say anything he did not think, as happens to
-everybody now and then, his eyes woke up to a kind of sly, half ashamed,
-half amused expression, and let you know he was fibbing in the oddest
-way in the world.
-
-“I almost fell upon a discovery to-night,” said Harry. “What should you
-have thought, Milly darling, if I had brought you home word about your
-father and that estate you are to come heir to? I actually thought I was
-on the scent of it for ten minutes at least.”
-
-“But it was a mistake,” said I, very quietly.
-
-“I confess, so far, it was a mistake; but still we may hear something,”
-said Harry. “You have heard me talk of old Pendleton scores of times.
-Fancy how I looked when he began about Haworth, a little town in
-Yorkshire, all sorts of stories, as if he knew all about it. After I had
-sat out a dozen anecdotes of other people, I asked him if he knew any
-Mortimers there. Oh yes, yes! he said briskly, old Mortimer lived in the
-brick house opposite the church; famous old fellow before he got so very
-rheumatic and useless--had a son about Pendleton’s own age. And here he
-shook his head: ‘Never did any good, sir! never did any good! Jilted in
-early life, and never got over it.’ You may suppose this made me prick
-up my ears.”
-
-“My father!” said I.
-
-“To be sure! it could not be anybody else; but it was your grandfather
-whom old Pendleton would keep talking of. I asked very closely all about
-him. It appears he only died about ten years ago; long after your
-father, Milly, and seems to have been tolerably rich, according to
-Pendleton. There’s none of the family remaining, Pendleton says. The red
-brick house is all falling to ruins; and how the money went, or whether
-there was any money, he can’t tell. I have a strong idea of making some
-inquiries about it. Don’t you think it would be worth while?”
-
-“It seems to me of late that you’re always thinking about money. Why is
-it?” said I. “Why should we go and trouble ourselves about people that
-have never inquired after us.”
-
-“You simpleton!” cried Harry. “Who cares whether they like us or no; but
-that red brick cosy house for my Milly darling, and a little comfort to
-console her--it would take all the pricks out of my pillow when----”
-
-“Don’t talk, Harry. I’ll not listen to you. I’ll have no inquiries
-made,” cried I, in desperation. “Every time I comfort myself a little
-you pull me back again. To-night I am very happy and content, and don’t
-care for your to-morrows. Be quiet and let my grandfather alone, if I
-ever had one. What do I care for him? He was either in debt and had no
-money to leave, or he was living on an annuity, or he endowed a
-hospital, or something. And the red brick house of course is in
-Chancery. Let the old gentleman alone. I’ll tell you about baby. He
-certainly noticed Mrs. Saltoun’s bird swinging in its cage to-day.”
-
-“Nonsense! Pendleton is to write to his brother, who lives there, and
-ask for all the particulars. He says your grandfather was a character,”
-said Harry. “He belonged to some good family: Welsh, Pendleton
-thinks--but professed to scorn all that, and called his son after
-Arkwright, the cotton-spinner; that’s what the A. means in your father’s
-name. By Jove! I wouldn’t write myself Richard Arkwright if I could help
-it. What humbug it is giving fellows other people’s names! They must
-have had a fancy for it in those days. Guess what Pendleton’s own name
-is? He signs himself E. B. quite modestly. It’s Edmund Burke, upon my
-honour!”
-
-“Well,” said I, “we have only got three names among us; and they are all
-simple enough.”
-
-“Oh, so is Richard Arkwright when it’s a man’s own name,” said Harry.
-“Now what do you think of my discovery? I confess I think it’s something
-to know where one’s family belong to. If I could only have taken you to
-our dear old Rectory, Milly. What a pleasure it would have been to have
-thought of you there! I could have watched you all round every turn of
-the garden, although I had been at the other end of the world.”
-
-“You are not going to the other end of the world; and we have no claim
-upon the Rectory now, any more than on my grandfather,” said I. “Here is
-a cup of tea for you. Now do be content; and don’t talk, Harry; at least
-not on that subject. Of all the places in the world I like Edinburgh, a
-little to the south of the Castle, and close upon Bruntsfield Links.”
-
-“You have no imagination, Milly,” said he. “However, we’ll hear what old
-Pendleton says; and if there is anything known about it I should be very
-much tempted, little as we have at present----”
-
-“To throw our poor good money away,” cried I. “You who grudged baby his
-pretty hood! Oh, Harry, Harry, what wild fancies have you taken into
-your head?”
-
-“To make my Milly a refuge when I’m away. Not so wild, after all,” he
-said to himself softly. I made a noise with my teacups, and would not
-hear him. It was hard work keeping cheerful when he would return and
-return to the same subject. Sometimes I trembled and wondered, with a
-sudden pang, was it a presentiment? But all the presentiments I ever
-heard of were sudden and did not last; and it was natural enough, too,
-that he should be anxious. If he did have to leave me, would not I work,
-or beg, or steal, or anything, to have everything comfortable for _him_?
-I forgave Harry for looking out for a home for his poor little wife; but
-yet every time he spoke of it, it went to my heart.
-
-And I must say for myself that I never had the least hope either from my
-unknown relations or Harry’s. I could not believe in a grandfather, nor
-any cold strange people belonging to me. If I had friends they should
-have shown themselves friendly when I needed it most. Now I thought, in
-my pride, I did not want to know anything about them. I pictured to
-myself an old morose man, that would have nothing to say to his poor
-son’s only child. In my mind I took quite a prejudice against the very
-place, and dreamt all that night of a mouldy old red-brick house, with
-endless passages, and little steps now and then to throw one down and
-break one’s limbs in the darkness. Somehow, both Harry’s imagination and
-mine fixed on that old red-brick house. _He_ thought it would be
-pleasant to settle me in such a place. _I_ had the most frightful
-fancies about it. I could see myself going about the old grey faded
-rooms, and Harry away at the war. I could see a pale creature, that was
-me, go wringing her hands down the old staircase, and trembling at the
-window waiting for the post coming in. I could see dreadful shadows of
-scenes that might be when the letters came, which I would not look at,
-but could not shut out of my heart. Harry did not think how he was
-torturing me when he spoke of that old red-brick house. It seemed,
-somehow, as if all my fears took solid form, and became real when they
-got a shelter to house themselves in. I grew superstitious, as most
-people do when their hearts are in great trouble. Going on from less to
-more I came to settle upon this as a token for evil. If anyhow, by any
-dreadful chance, something should come of it, and I should ever have
-that house in my power, then I should know that the light was to depart
-from me, and that I was to be set down, all by myself, and desolate, to
-wither down and pine to death where my hard-hearted grandfather had
-died. In my own mind, and without saying anything to anybody, I settled
-upon this sign; and grew so assured of it, just by fancying things,
-that, if I had heard that my grandfather had left me a fortune, and that
-we should be comfortable all the rest of our lives, I should have sunk
-down as if the intelligence was a blow. To be poor and happy, and have
-our own way to make, seemed just enough, somehow; and in my superstition
-I almost thought God would punish us for wanting more. I thought if
-wealth should possibly come, happiness would fly away. I made sure if
-Harry got his will it would be death to me. The thought of it put a new
-terror into my life. His going away was not now the first thing I was
-afraid of. I was afraid of his finding that home for me that he was so
-anxious about--that place where I could be comfortable without him.
-Every grief in the world came to be implied and suggested to my mind by
-the mention of that red-brick house.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-“Oh yes, I am very fanciful, I know I am; but if Harry would only be
-content, and let me be happy while I can,” said I, trying, but without
-success, to gulp down my tears.
-
-“Mrs. Langham, my dear, the Captain canna be content, and it stands to
-reason,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “and being anxious, as a good man should, to
-provide for his wife and his bairn, will no take him away an hour sooner
-than if he were a reckless ne’er-do-weel, that cared neither for the
-tane nor the tither. Be reasonable, and let him speak. He’s young and
-you’re young; and you’re neither o’ ye that wise but ye might thole
-mending. It’s a real, discreet, sensible thing o’ the young gentleman to
-try his very utmost for a home for his wife if he has to go away.”
-
-“If you have taken his side I shall give up speaking,” said I. “What do
-I care for home, or anything else, if he is away?”
-
-“But you care for the Captain’s peace of mind, Mrs. Langham, my dear,”
-said Mrs. Saltoun; “that’s far different. Maybe the truest love of a’
-would make itself content to be left in splendour for the sake of a
-comfortable thought to them that’s going on a far different road. I
-wouldna say but the thought o’ your safety would lighten mony an hour of
-danger. Mony’s the strange thing I’ve seen in my life; but eh! when ye
-have them that ye maybe mayna have lang, gie them their will! Let him
-have his ain way, and gang in wi’ him if ye can. There’s mony a young
-wife like you would die cheerful, or do ony hard thing in the world for
-her husband, but canna see her way just to do _that_. Gie him his will!
-I was ower late learning that mysel’.”
-
-The very tone in which my good old lady spoke plunged me deeper and
-deeper into my agony of alarm and terror. I did not take her words for
-what they meant. I went aside to draw terrifying inferences from her
-tone and the sound of her voice. She thought he would go, I
-concluded--perhaps she had heard already that marching orders had
-come--she thought that he would never come back again, if he did leave
-me. Anxiety and fear seized hold upon me so forcibly that I never
-stopped to think that Mrs. Saltoun had no means of knowing, any more,
-or even so much as I knew, and that she could not possibly be better
-informed on this point than I was.
-
-“And now tell me about your family, Mrs. Langham, my dear. I’ve come
-across half the folk in the country, I might venture to say, one time
-and another. I was on the continent for three years with my old
-gentleman,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “it’s just astonishing to say such a
-thing, but if you’ll believe me, a person gets better acquaint with
-their own country folk, that is, meaning the higher ranks o’ life, in
-foreign parts than at home. It’s maybe just a glance and away, that’s
-true; but them that has good memories minds.”
-
-“And were you really abroad?” said I, feeling a little interested in
-spite of all my trouble; “and who was your old gentleman?--not----”
-
-“No, no, nobody belonging to me. I had the charge of his house and his
-young family, that he had no business to have at his age; an auld fuil
-of a man that had married a young wife, and lost her, and was left, past
-seventy, with four young bairns. Mortimer? wasn’t that _your_ name, my
-dear? Eh? I mind of a Miss Mortimer made a great steer among a’ the
-English one season; and among mair than the English by bad fortune. She
-was counted a great beauty; but I canna say she was like you.”
-
-“No, indeed, not likely!” cried I.
-
-“I would rather have your face than hers though,” said kind Mrs.
-Saltoun. “Bless me, now I think of it, that was a very strange story.
-There was a Count somebody that followed her about like her shadow.
-Except her beauty, I canna say I ever had much of an opinion of her. She
-was very heartless to her servants, and, for all the admirers she had, I
-think her greatest admirer was herself; but between you and me, my dear,
-men are great fools; she had ay a train after her. To be sure she was
-said to be a great fortune as well. I canna think but that poor Count
-was badly used. Counts are no a’ impostors, like what we think them
-here. He was a real handsome gentleman, that one. He was with her
-wherever she went for a year and more. Some folks said they were to be
-married, and more said they were married already. _That_ was ay my
-opinion;--when, what do you think, all at once he disappeared from her,
-and for a while she flirted about more than ever; and then she went
-suddenly off and home with her father. I would like to hear the rights
-o’ that story. When a woman’s a witch,--and I canna think a great beauty
-without a heart is onything else--most other women take a great
-interest in finding her out. Fools say it’s for envy; but it’s no for
-envy, my dear. You see beauty doesna blind a woman; we can ay see what’s
-going on underhand.”
-
-“And what became of her?” said I.
-
-“That is just what I never heard. That is the worst of meeting in with
-folk abroad; you see them once, and you, maybe, never see them a’ your
-days again,” said Mrs. Saltoun. “To be sure, you commonly hear of them,
-one way or other; but I never heard of the beautiful Miss Mortimer
-again. It’s five-and-twenty years ago, if it’s a day, and she was far
-from young then. That poor Count--I canna mind his name--was a good five
-years, if no more, younger than the witch that kept him at her call. I
-took a real spite against that woman; for you see she was just at the
-over-bloom, and yet took a’ the airs of a young queen. I wouldna wonder
-in the least but, after a’, she was married and wouldna own to it. There
-was nae heart in her.”
-
-“But if she was married, how could she help herself?” said I.
-
-“That is what I canna tell,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “there’s wheels within
-wheels, especially in foreign parts. Maybe the Count wasna a grand
-enough match, maybe--I canna tell you; it’s a’ guess-work; but I am very
-sure of one thing, that she was not an innocent woman, with nothing on
-her conscience when she went away.”
-
-“I hope she is no relation of mine,” said I. “Harry has found out that I
-had a grandfather, and all about him. Oh, only suppose, Mrs. Saltoun,
-this dreadful beauty should turn out to be my aunt! That _would_ be
-delightful!” I said to myself after a while, with a kind of bitter
-satisfaction; “not to live in the red-brick house alone, but to live
-with a dreadful old beauty who would be sure to be haunted. That would
-be purgatory, enough, to please anybody; and Mortimer is not at all a
-common name.”
-
-My old lady looked up at me half frightened. “Don’t say such a thing,
-Mrs. Langham, my dear. I would not say a word against any person’s
-character, far less one that might turn out a relation of yours. But,
-for all that I’ve no right to interfere, I would set my face against the
-like of you setting up house with ony such person. I would speak to the
-Captain mysel’. Hout! here I’m taking’t up as if it was true; but if it
-should be so that, in the order of Providence, the Captain was to go,
-you mustna take up just with ony relation without considering if they
-would make ye happy. You must be careful where you go--you must----”
-
-“Happy?” cried I. It seemed like mockery and a kind of insult;--as if I
-could be happy when Harry, perhaps, was in danger, perhaps wounded or
-ill, in suffering, and away from me!
-
-“Whisht, whisht,” said Mrs. Saltoun. “I ken ye better than ye ken
-yourself. It’ll be hard, hard work at first; but when the parting’s over
-you’ll get hopeful, and think o’ the meeting again; and ye’ll ay get
-letters to cheer ye; and with the baby and the sun shining you’ll be
-happy before you ken. But I maunna have ye settled down with the like of
-yon Miss Mortimer. Na! na! naething like that, if she were twenty times
-an aunt. Far better stay on still with me, that would ay be coming and
-going to cheer you up. Yon’s a woman without a heart. I must speak to
-the Captain mysel’.”
-
-Though I was much nearer crying that being amused, I could not but laugh
-at Mrs. Saltoun’s anxiety about her Miss Mortimer, whom there was not
-the very slightest reason to suppose any relation of mine. I took up the
-idea myself, I must say, with quite a ludicrous sort of uncomfortable
-satisfaction. If I had a grandfather, why should not I have an aunt? Why
-should there not be an old Miss Mortimer living in the red-brick house,
-ready to take me in, and kill me slowly by degrees? I formed an
-immediate picture of her--how she would look, and what she would say to
-me. I fancied her dressed up in her old fashions, trying to look young
-and a beauty still. How dreadful it must be to drop from being a great
-beauty, and having everybody worship you, down to a mere old woman left
-all by yourself! Poor old Miss Mortimer! If she was my aunt, and was
-very cross, and discontented, and miserable, there might be something
-different in the old red-brick house, that quiet, dead comfortable home
-that poor Harry, in his love and kindness, was so anxious to find for
-me. There would be some satisfaction in living a miserable life with an
-ogre in an enchanted castle if Harry were away. Mrs. Saltoun’s words did
-not alarm me; on the contrary, I grew quite curious about this imaginary
-Miss Mortimer. I thought I could fancy her going about those faded rooms
-which yesterday I fancied seeing myself in. Now it was her figure I saw
-all alone by the fire. Had she got used to it, I wonder? or did she
-chafe and beat her poor old wings against the cage, and hate the world
-that had given over admiring her? I tried to spell out what kind of a
-beauty she had been; but it was always twilight in the old-fashioned
-room. Tall, to be sure, with grey hair that had been black, and proud
-eyes all wrinkled up in their sockets. Poor old Miss Mortimer! I wonder
-did she know that she had an orphan niece who was to be sent to her for
-a comfortable home? Couldn’t I look again, and see myself come in, and
-how she greeted me? I think I must have grown quite fantastic in my
-troubles. I could not keep my thoughts away from Mrs. Saltoun’s great
-beauty. All alone in the house that was falling into decay, what ghosts
-must crowd about her! Did she see the Count she had ill-used oftenest,
-or some other who was more favoured? How did she keep these phantoms off
-from her in the silence? I kept going over all this as other girls go
-over imaginary romances of their own; I knew what my own romance was;
-but still I was only nineteen, and loved to dream.
-
-And, perhaps, the consequence of this new turn to my thoughts was, that
-I was more tolerant of Harry’s curiosity and anxious musing about my
-father’s family, which had been revealed to him in that strange,
-unexpected glimpse by Mr. Pendleton, the regimental doctor. I did not
-stop him nervously when he began to talk of that favourite subject of
-his thoughts. He was always coming back to it somehow. I could trace the
-idea running through all he said. Not fancy and nonsensical imaginations
-like mine; but serious, simple-minded anxiety, and an earnest concern
-about the matter which would have broken my heart, had I not begun to
-get used to it now. There was nothing talked about or heard of but the
-war and the quantities of soldiers who were being sent away. Harry had
-no other expectation or hope but to go too, and all his thought was, to
-find a shelter for me. I could see it haunted his mind constantly, and
-at last I gave in to it, that he might be eased on the subject. I used
-to discuss it over with him where I should go--oh, only to go like Lady
-Fanshawe, and be beside him, though he did not know! That was
-impossible; so I let him talk, and smiled the best I could. Soon enough,
-perhaps, we should have land and sea between us. Let him say what he
-would. Let him arrange what he would. If it was a comfort to him, what
-did it matter? The old brick house and Miss Mortimer would be better
-than the happiest of homes. Who could wish to be happy while Harry was
-away.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-One day after this Harry came in with a letter in his hand.
-
-“Here is news, Milly, darling; not such news as we expected, but still
-news,” said he; “this is not how you are to become a great heiress,
-certainly; but still it’s interesting. It turns out, after, all, that
-your grandfather was not rich.”
-
-“Oh! is it Mr. Pendleton’s letter?” said I.
-
-“Pendleton’s brother has something to do with it,” said Harry, with a
-little excitement; “there was not much money--not any more than enough
-to pay the debts and give some presents to the old servants--but there
-is the house. They had no funds to employ in looking up the heir, and
-nobody cared to take much trouble. So there it stands falling to pieces.
-Look here, Milly; it’s yours, indisputably yours.”
-
-“But how about Miss Mortimer?” cried I.
-
-Harry stopped short all at once as he was opening the letter, and stared
-at me. “Miss Mortimer! who is she?” he said, in the most entire
-amazement. He might well look surprised: but I had so entirely made up
-my mind about her, and that she was living in the old house, that his
-question was quite a shock to me.
-
-“Why, Miss Mortimer, to be sure,” I said, faltering a little; and then I
-could not help laughing at Harry’s astonished face.
-
-“It appears that you know more than Mr. Pendleton does, Milly,” said he;
-“there is no Miss Mortimer here. I suppose you are only amusing yourself
-at my expense: but I really am quite in earnest. Mr. Mortimer’s house is
-entirely yours. He had no child but your father; you are the
-heir-at-law. I only wish there had been a Miss Mortimer. You may look
-displeased, Milly darling; but think if there had been a good old lady
-to take care of you while I’m away!”
-
-“Oh, Harry, you don’t know what you are saying,” cried I; “that Miss
-Mortimer was an old witch and beauty. Mrs. Saltoun told me that if she
-should turn out to be a relation of mine, she would speak to you
-herself, to say that I must not on any account go there.”
-
-“Go where? What Miss Mortimer are you speaking of?” said Harry,
-completely mystified.
-
-Then I had to confess that I knew nothing of her, and it was all
-imagination; and Harry shook it off quite lightly, and went on to talk
-of this house. As if I ever could, after all my fancies, put Miss
-Mortimer out of that house! As if she had not taken possession, a
-wonderful old ghost, always to live and reign there! And, moreover, my
-heart got quite chill within me as Harry spoke. This was my bad omen;
-this was the sign I had appointed with myself for the coming of every
-trouble. I got so pale, listening to him, that he was disturbed, and
-grew quite anxious. Was I ill? What was the matter with me? I said No,
-with a gasp, and let him go on. He read out of the letter all the
-description of this dreadful house; but I am sure I did not need any
-description. I saw it as clear as a picture; large rooms, to be sure,
-with great faded Turkey carpets on them! a low broad staircase, with
-myself coming down on the post-morning wringing my hands, and Miss
-Mortimer sitting all silent by the fire; a large old garden with mossy
-apple-trees, and a sun-dial somewhere about, some dozen bedrooms or so,
-all hushed and solemn, as if people had died there. I am not sure that I
-heard the words of Harry’s description; for what was she good? I saw it
-perfectly well in my mind, far clearer than I ever could have known it
-by words.
-
-“And Harry,” cried I, with a start of despair, when he came to a pause,
-“would you really have me go to live in such a place--a place I never
-was in in all my life--a place I have no kind feeling about, nor
-pleasant thoughts--only because it was my grandfather’s house, whom I
-never saw, and who never cared to see me? I did not think you could have
-been so cruel. Besides, it would be far too expensive. Servants would
-have to be kept for it; and you must make up your mind that it would
-kill me.”
-
-“But it might sell for a good price,” said Harry, “and I might get you a
-pretty cottage, where you pleased, with the money. I am going to write
-to old Pendleton to tell him who you are and all about it. You have had
-your own way with your first bit of fortune; but I should not at all
-wonder, Milly darling,” he said, laughing, “if you were to offer it,
-rent free, to your Aunt Connor, that she might find it a very eligible
-situation. After such a description, Mrs. Connor is not the woman to
-despise the red-brick house.”
-
-“She might have it altogether, and welcome, for me,” said I. “Oh, Harry,
-I can’t help thinking it’s an ill omened place. I could never be happy
-there.”
-
-“Who ever heard of an ill omen now-a-days?” said Harry, “it’s a pagan
-fancy, Milly. For my part the idea rather captivates me. I should like
-to live in the house my good father was born in. My bridegroom uncle has
-it now. Don’t you think I had better write and tell him my little wife
-is an heiress? However, perhaps the best thing will be to try and sell
-the house.”
-
-“Oh, much the best thing!” I said. That would be getting rid of it, at
-all events; and as Harry would not leave off talking of it, I persuaded
-him with all my might to get done with it so. We were both quite
-confident that we had only to say who we were and get it without any
-trouble. That, of course, was all very natural in me that knew nothing
-about things, but Harry might have known better. He was quite pleased
-and interested about it. I think he never was quite satisfied not to
-know who I belonged to; but now that he had hunted up my grandfather, he
-was quite comforted. And how he did talk of the pretty cottage he was to
-buy me! Sometimes it was to be in England, in his own county; which he
-naturally liked best of all places; sometimes near Edinburgh, where we
-were, because I was fond of it. Sometimes we took walks and looked at
-all the pretty little houses we could see. He had planned it out in his
-own mind, all the rooms it was to have, and used to study the
-upholsterer’s windows, and take me ever so far out of my way to see some
-pretty table or chair that had taken his fancy. He said if he could only
-see me settled, and know exactly what I was looking at, and all the
-things round me, it would be such a comfort when he went away.
-
-This going away was kept so constantly before my mind that I could not
-forget it for a moment. I lived in a constant state of nervous
-expectation. Every day when he came in I went to meet him with a pang of
-fear in my heart. Such constant anxiety would have made a woman ill who
-had nothing to do; but I was full in the stream of life, and one thing
-counterbalanced another, and kept everything going. That must be the
-reason why people do get strength to bear so many things when they are
-in the midst of life. Young disengaged people would die of half the
-troubles that middle-aged, hard-labouring people have; but I had a daily
-dread returning every time Harry returned, and with a shiver of
-inexpressible relief put off my anxiety to the next day, when I found
-there was no news. All the evils of life seemed to crowd into that one
-possibility of Harry’s going away. It was not that I feared any positive
-harm coming to him, or had made up my mind that he would not come back
-again; it was the sudden extinction of our bright troubled life that I
-looked forward to, the going out of our happiness. I did not seem to
-care where I should be, or what might happen after that time.
-
-In the meantime Harry grew quite a man of business, and entered with
-something like enjoyment, I thought, into the pursuit of my
-grandfather’s house. He wrote to Aunt Connor for all the information
-that could be had about my father, and for the register of his marriage
-and my birth. He wrote a long letter to that Mr. Pendleton at Haworth,
-who had, as he said, something to do with it; and old Pendleton, the
-surgeon, came out to see me, and told me all he remembered about my
-father. That was not very much; the principal thing was, that he had
-heard of poor papa being jilted by a relation of his own, a great
-heiress--in Wales, he thought, but he could not tell where. Of course
-that must have been Sarah, in poor papa’s drawing, who was getting on
-the wrong side of her horse; and “he never did any more good,” Mr.
-Pendleton said. He lingered about at home for some time, and then went
-wandering about everywhere. He had a little money from his mother, just
-enough to keep him from being obliged to do anything; and the old
-surgeon burst out into an outcry about the evils of a little money,
-which quite frightened me. “When silly people leave a young man just as
-much as he can live on, they ruin him for life,” said old Mr. Pendleton.
-“Unless he’s a great genius there’s an end of him. Richard Mortimer,
-begging your pardon, was not a great genius, Mrs. Langham; but he might
-have been a good enough soldier, or doctor, or solicitor, or something;
-or a cotton-spinner, as his name inclined that way,--if it hadn’t been
-for his little bit of money. Langham, my boy, either have a great
-fortune or none at all; it will be all the better for your heir.”
-
-“We’ll have a great fortune,” said Harry. “The first step must be to
-sell this red-brick house.”
-
-Mr. Pendleton gave him an odd look. “There’s a saying about catching the
-hare first before you cook it,” said the doctor. “Make yourself quite
-sure they’ll give you a deal of trouble before they’ll let you take
-possession; and then there’s no end of money wanted for repairs. The
-last time I saw it, there was a hole that a man could pass through in
-the roof.”
-
-Harry looked aghast at this new piece of information; nothing that I
-ever saw had such an effect upon Harry’s courage. He gazed with open
-eyes and mouth at the disenchanter for a moment. I do think he could
-see the rain dropping in, and the wind blowing, and damp and decay
-spreading through the house just as clearly as I saw Miss Mortimer
-sitting by the fire, and myself going down the stairs. After that I used
-to think Harry was thinking of the house, whenever it rained much. He
-used to sigh, and look so grave, and say solemn things about the wet
-weather destroying property. And I cannot deny that I laughed.
-Altogether, this house kept us in talk and interest, and did a good deal
-to amuse us through this winter, which, without something to lighten it,
-would have passed very slowly, being so full of perpetual anxiety and
-fears.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII.
-
-
-It was in spring that Harry came in one day with the news in his face;
-at least I thought it was the news. Heaven help me!--I came forward with
-my hands clasped, struck speechless by the thought, my limbs trembling
-under me so that I could scarcely stand. I suppose Harry was struck by
-my dumb agony. My ears, that were strained to hear the one only thing in
-the world that I was afraid of, devoured, without being satisfied, the
-soothing words he said to me. I gasped at him, asking, I suppose,
-without any sound, to know the worst; and he told me at once, in pity
-for my desperate face.
-
-“No such thing, Milly darling. No, no; not to the war just yet. We are
-only to leave Edinburgh, nothing more.”
-
-I think I almost fainted at this reprieve; I could scarcely understand
-it. The certainty of the other was so clear upon my mind that I almost
-could have thought he deceived me. I sank down into a seat when I came
-to myself, and cried in my weakness like a child; Harry all the while
-wondering over me in a surprise of love and pity. I do not think he
-quite knew till then how much that terror had gone to my heart.
-
-“No, Milly, darling,” he kept repeating, looking at me always with a
-strange compassion, as if he knew that the grief I was dreading must
-come, though not yet; “take comfort, it has not come yet; and before it
-comes you must be stronger, and able to bear what God sends.”
-
-“Yes, yes, yes, I will bear it,” said I, under my breath, “but say again
-it is not to be now.”
-
-“No, we are going away to Chester,” said Harry, “be satisfied, I will
-not try to cheat you when that time comes. We are to go to Chester to
-let some other fellows away. Now you must pack again and be going,
-Milly, like a true soldier’s wife.”
-
-Ah, me! if that were all that was needful for a soldier’s wife! Somehow,
-all that night after, I felt lighter in my heart than usual. I had felt
-all this time as if the sword was hanging over my head; but now that we
-were sent out wandering again, the danger seemed to have faded further
-off. Nobody would take the trouble to send a regiment from one end of
-the country to the other, and then send them right away. If they had
-been going to the war, they would have gone direct from Edinburgh. It
-was a respite, a little additional life granted to us. I sang my old
-songs that night, as I went about the room. I could dare laugh to baby,
-and dance him about. How he was growing, the dear fellow! He set his
-little pink feet firm on my hand, and could stand upright. I showed
-Harry all his accomplishments, and rejoiced over them. How thankful and
-lighthearted I was, to be sure, that night! Harry kept watching me,
-following me with his eyes in the strangest, amused, sympathetic way. He
-was surprised to see the agony I was in at first; but he was still more
-surprised to see how easily, as one might have said, I got over it now.
-
-“And, Milly, what is to be done with the sprite?” said Harry.
-
-“Lizzie? what should be done with her? She is an orphan, she has nobody
-belonging to her, she has taken shelter with me. Harry, no; we’re poor,
-but we’re not free to think of ourselves alone. Lizzie shall go too. She
-is God’s child, and He sent her to me.”
-
-Harry did not say anything, but he kept slowly shaking his head and
-drumming upon the table. Harry had the common people’s ideas rather
-about responsibility. He was afraid of the responsibility. For all the
-kindness in his heart he did not like to step into what might be other
-people’s business, or to take up any burdens that did not lie in his
-way.
-
-“Besides, she is the best servant in the world. She is worth all Aunt
-Connor’s three maids. I can trust her with baby almost as well as I can
-trust myself; and, besides,” said I, rather hypocritically, “look at the
-creature’s laundry work; you never were so pleased before.”
-
-“Well, that is rather astonishing, I confess,” said Harry, looking at
-his fresh wristband with a little admiration. “I don’t believe those
-awkward red fingers ever did it. She must keep some private fairy in a
-box, or have made an agreement with a nameless personage. What if poor
-Lizzie’s soul were in danger on account of your fine linen, you
-hard-hearted Milly! I do not believe you would care.”
-
-“Ah! you can’t deny her talents in the laundry,” cried I, with a little
-injudicious laughter. “What a triumph that is! You never were content
-with anybody’s work before.”
-
-Harry looked at me rather doubtfully. “You look very much as if you were
-a little cheat,” he said. “I’ll have a peep into the laundry one of
-these days myself.”
-
-“But Lizzie must go with us,” said I. “I have taken very much to the
-strange creature. You and I are God’s orphans too. We have a right to be
-good to her; and it is not all on one side--don’t think it, Harry; she
-is very good to me. She helps me with all her might, and stands by me
-whenever I want, or tries to do it. I had rather have her than
-half-a-dozen common servants. Leave this to me.”
-
-“But consider, Milly, what you are making yourself responsible for,”
-cried Harry.
-
-I stopped his mouth; I would not let him speak; and danced away with
-baby all in my joy and comfort to put him to bed. We met Mrs. Saltoun on
-the stairs in the dark, and as she kissed the child, I kissed my good
-old lady out of the fulness of my heart. “We are going away, but it is
-only to Chester; we shall be together still,” I said in her ear. I never
-thought how strange she would think it that I should be pleased to leave
-her, or how she might wonder at my spirits getting up so easily. I was
-very happy that night.
-
-Lizzie was putting all baby’s things away when I went into the room. She
-folded and laid them all aside more nicely than I could have done it
-myself; not, so far as I know, because orderliness came natural to her,
-but because, with all her heart, she had wanted to please me, and saw
-with her quick eyes how it was to be done best. When anybody looked at
-Lizzie, and she knew it, she was just as awkward as ever. How I had
-laboured to make her hands and her feet look as if they belonged to her,
-without twisting up or going into angles! but it was all of no use.
-Whenever anybody looked at Lizzie, she would stand on one foot, and seek
-refuge of an imaginary pinafore for her hands; but just now, in the
-firelight, when you could only half see her, you cannot think how tidily
-and nicely the uncouth creature was going about her work.
-
-I paused before the fire after the child was in bed. “Lizzie,” said I,
-standing in the warm light, and looking down into it, “do you like
-Edinburgh very much?” I did not look round for her answer, I waited till
-she should come to me; and yet felt pleased to see her, with “the tail
-of my eye,” as Mrs. Saltoun would have said, flitting about after one
-thing and another, through the pleasant darkness, with the firelight all
-glimmering and shooting gleams of reflection into it, shining in the
-drawers, and chairs, and furniture, which Lizzie’s hands had rubbed so
-bright. I could not help thinking, with a little pride and
-self-complacency, that it was all my doing. If I had not taught her, and
-taken pains with her--but then, to be sure, if she had not been
-wonderfully clever and capable; the one thing had just as much to do
-with it as the other. But, between her exertions and my own, I had been
-very successful in my little maid.
-
-“Edinburey?” said Lizzie, coming up to me, with a lingering sound in
-that genuine Edinburgh tone of hers, “eh, mem, isn’t it rael bonnie?
-They say there’s no such another bonnie town in the world.”
-
-“But there are, though,” said I; “they say quantities of foolish things.
-Lizzie, the regiment is ordered away.”
-
-Lizzie clasped her hands together, and gave a shrill shriek. “I’ll waken
-the wean, but I canna help it. Eh, what will we do?” cried Lizzie, in a
-voice of suppressed and sharp despair. “I heard you say once you would
-die, and if you die, so will the bairn, and so will I; and what heart
-would the Captain have to come hame again? He would throw himself upon
-the spears, the way they do in the ballads, and get his death. Mem!”
-cried the excited girl, seizing my arm and stamping her foot upon the
-floor in an impassioned appeal to my weakness, “if ye dinna bide alive,
-and keep up your heart, he’ll never come hame!”
-
-I cannot explain what an extraordinary effect this had upon me. The
-sudden flush of excitement and desperate necessity for doing something
-to inspire and hold up my weakness, which animated Lizzie, cast a new
-light upon myself and my selfish terror. She cared nothing about
-affronting or offending me, the brave primitive creature; she thought
-only of rousing, pricking me up to exert what strength I had. Her grasp
-on my arm, her stamp on the floor, were nature’s own bold suggestions
-to arrest the evil she dreaded. I should not give way, or break down--I
-should not send away my soldier unworthily, nor peril the life on which
-another hung, if Lizzie could help it. What I had escaped for the
-moment--what I should have to go through with by and by, came all up
-before me at her words. She whom I was proud of having trained for my
-service had a braver heart than me.
-
-But when I could explain to her the real nature of the case our position
-changed immediately. Lizzie’s countenance fell; she hung her head, and
-relapsed into all her old awkwardness. It was neither the bold young
-soul, resolved, come what might, to inspire me with needful courage, nor
-the handy little maid busied with her work, but the old uncouth Lizzie,
-not knowing how to stand or look for extreme awkwardness and eagerness,
-that stood gazing wistful at me in the firelight. She stood with her
-lips apart, looking at me, breathless with silent anxiety, muttering as
-she stood, with an incessant nervous unconscious motion, the physical
-utterance of extreme anxiety. She made no appeal to me then; but, like a
-faithful dog, or dumb creature, kept gazing in my face.
-
-“And so we shall have to go away,” said I, somewhat confused by her
-eyes; “and you are an Edinburgh girl, and people know you here. I could
-recommend you very well, and you might get a better place; you must
-think it all over, and decide what we must do.”
-
-Lizzie’s face showed that she only understood me by degrees; that she
-should have any choice in the matter not seeming to have occurred to
-her. When she fairly made it out, she gave a joyful shout, and another
-little cry; but plunged me into the wildest amazement, the moment after,
-by the following question, in which I could find no connection whatever
-with the subject under hand.
-
-“Mem,” said Lizzie, “is a’ the Bible true alike--the auld Testament as
-weel as the New?”
-
-“Surely,” said I, in the most utter surprise.
-
-“Then I know what I’ll do,” cried the girl; “I’ll bring you a hammer and
-a nail, and you’ll drive it into the doorpost through my ear.”
-
-“What in the world do you mean, child?” cried I,--“are you laughing at
-me, Lizzie? or is the girl crazed.”
-
-“Me laughing? if you would do it I would greet with joy; for the Bible
-says them that have the nail driven through, never gang out ony mair for
-ever, but belong to the house. Mrs. Saltoun mightna be pleased if it
-was done in the parlour, but down at the outer door it might be nae
-harm. Eh, mem, will ye ask the Captain?” cried Lizzie, “and then I’ll
-never leave ye mair!”
-
-Just then Harry called me downstairs, and all laughing, and with tears
-in my eyes, I hurried down to him, not knowing whether to be most amused
-or melted.
-
-Harry had something to consult me about, which he plunged into
-immediately, so that I had still had no opportunity of propounding
-Lizzie’s petition, when, all at once, about an hour after, she made her
-appearance at the door. I never saw the creature look so bright; her
-eyes were shining, her colour high, her breath coming quick with
-agitation, excitement, and a mingled thrill of joy and terror. In one
-hand she carried Mrs. Saltoun’s great hammer, in another a rusty iron
-nail; and her resolution had removed at once her awkwardness and her
-reverential dread of Harry. She came up to him with a noiseless air of
-excitement, and touched him on the sleeve; she held out the hammer and
-the nail without being able to speak a word. He, on his side, looked at
-her with the utmost amazement. Lizzie was too much excited to explain
-herself, or even to remark his astonished look; she had come to prove
-her allegiance in the only way that occurred to her. I believe, in my
-heart, that she longed for the grotesque extraordinary pang which was to
-make her my bondslave for ever; the spirit of a martyr was in the
-child’s heart.
-
-When Harry understood the creature’s meaning you may imagine what a
-scene followed. I had to send Lizzie away lest her highly-wrought
-feelings should be driven desperate, by the agonies of laughter it threw
-him into. I took her outside the door and put away the hammer, and gave
-her a kiss in the dark. I whispered in her ear, “That shall be our bond,
-Lizzie; we will take it out of the New Testament rather than the Old,”
-and left her sitting on the stairs, with her apron thrown over her head,
-crying her heart out. No one, from that day forward, has ever spoken of
-leaving Lizzie behind again.
-
-
-
-
-PART III.
-
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL.
-
-(_Continued_).
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-I cannot tell what it was that made me silent about this adventure while
-we were having tea. My mind was naturally full of it, but when, having
-the words just on my lips, I looked at Sarah, some strange influence
-held me back. That reluctance to speak of a matter which will turn out
-painful to somebody I have felt come across me like a sort of warning
-more than once in my life; and this time it was so powerful, that during
-our meal I said nothing whatever about the matter. You are not to
-suppose, though, that I was so good a dissembler as not to show that I
-had something on my mind. Little Sara found me out in a moment. She
-said, “What are you thinking of, godmamma?” before we had been two
-minutes at table, and persecuted me the whole time,--finding out
-whenever I made any little mistake; and, indeed, I made several, my mind
-being so much occupied. Sarah, on the contrary, took no notice; she
-seemed, indeed, to have recovered herself a good deal, and had a very
-good appetite. She never talked much at any time, and had said less than
-usual since ever little Sara arrived. So what with my abstraction and
-Sarah’s quiet occupation with herself, there was not much talk, you may
-suppose. Little Sara Cresswell’s eyes, however, quite danced with
-mischief when she saw me so deep in thought. She kept asking me all
-sorts of questions; whether there was any bit of the road haunted
-between the Park and the village? whether I had got some sermons from
-the rector to read? whether Dr. Appleby had been trying some of his new
-medicines (the doctor was certainly too much given to experiments) upon
-me? whether I had met anybody to frighten me? Tea was all but finished,
-and I had just rung the bell, when the little plague asked this last
-question; and you may imagine I was quite as much inclined to tell all
-my story as Sara was to draw me out.
-
-“Now I’ll just tell you what I think has happened, godmamma,” cried
-Sara. “One of your old lovers has appeared to you, and told you that,
-but for you, he might have been a happy man; and that all his troubles
-began when you refused him. Now haven’t I guessed right?”
-
-“Right? Why, I have told you a dozen times, Sara, that I never had any
-lovers,” said I,--“not till I was forty, at least.”
-
-“But that is no answer at all,” cried the little puss. “And the poor man
-might die for you, when you were forty, all the same. Was it himself,
-quite pined away and heart-broken, that you saw, godmamma, or was it his
-ghost?”
-
-“Hush, you little provoking thing,” said I; “you and I had a quarrel
-about an Italian the other evening. Now I know a deal better about him
-than you do, Sara. He is all the ghost I met.”
-
-I gave a glance at Sarah, sidelong, as I spoke. I am sure what I said
-was light enough, and not very serious, but her ear had caught it; it
-was a sign to me that she was still as much on the watch as ever. She
-did not speak, nor lift up her head, except with a little momentary
-start, but _she stopped knitting_, which was something extraordinary to
-me.
-
-And little Sara flushed up; whether it was with the recollection of our
-quarrel, or a private interest of her own in the young stranger, who, to
-be sure, being a handsome young man, and mysterious, and romantic, was
-quite likely to excite a foolish young imagination, I cannot tell; but
-her cheeks certainly reddened up at a great rate, and she looked exactly
-as if she were ready to pounce and bite, what between curiosity and
-wrath.
-
-“I met him on the road; it is my belief he passed the gate the other
-evening when I was looking out. Poor young man! he speaks very good
-English for an Italian,” said I.
-
-Then Sarah’s whisper interfered and stopped me; she spoke very sharply.
-“Who are you speaking of?” she said; “there are no Italians here.”
-
-“There is one,” said I; “poor fellow. Little Sara there knows about
-him. It appears he came expecting to find a lady hereabouts, and can’t
-find her. I can’t think on the name myself; I never heard it that I know
-of; but I must allow that the young man looks like a gentleman; and for
-an Italian----”
-
-“Be silent, Milly! What can a person like you know?” said Sarah, in an
-irritated shrill tone. “They’re a double-minded, deceitful, intriguing
-race; they’re vile story-tellers, every one; they’re a people no more
-fit to be considered like other Christians than dogs are, or slaves.
-Bah! What do you mean talking to me of Italians? None of you are the
-least aware of what you are speaking of. I know them well.”
-
-Here little Sara struck boldly into the breach, and saved me from the
-necessity of struggling out an answer.
-
-“Godmamma, you are frightfully unjust!” cried little Sara. “I wonder how
-you can speak of a whole people so; and such a people! as if everybody
-in the world did not know who they are, and what they have done!”
-
-“They have done every kind of fraud and falsehood in existence,” said
-Sarah, so earnest that her voice sounded like a sort of smothered
-shriek. “I tell you, child, whoever trusts or believes in them gets
-deceived and betrayed. Don’t speak to me of Italians--I know them; and
-if any Italian comes here pretending to ask anything,” she said,
-suddenly turning round upon me, and catching at me, if I may say so,
-with her eye, “mind you, Milly, it’s a cheat! I say, recollect it’s a
-cheat! He does not want any living creature; he wants money, and profit,
-and what you have to give.”
-
-If she had said all this quietly, and there had been nothing beforehand
-to rouse my attention, I should not have been surprised; for to be sure,
-that was very much like what I had always believed; and as for lying,
-and seeking their own advantage, I rather think that is just about what
-an English person, who knows no better, thinks of most foreigners, right
-or wrong. But Sarah’s way of speaking was breathless and excited. She
-was no more thinking of Italians in general than I was, or than little
-Sara was. She was thinking on some one thing, and some one person; she
-alone knew who and what. All her anger, and her quickness, and her
-dreadful look of being in earnest, were personal to herself; and I
-cannot describe to anybody how my sister’s unexplainable anxiety and
-excitement bewildered and excited me.
-
-“But, Sarah, you don’t know anything of this poor friend man; he may be
-as honest as ever was. I do believe he is, for my part,” said I; “and
-what he wants is----”
-
-“Don’t tell me!” cried Sarah. “I don’t want to hear what he wants. How
-should I know anything about him? Hold your tongue, Milly, I tell you.
-What! you go and take a fancy to a young villain and impostor, and
-neglect _me_!”
-
-“Neglect _you_! but, dear, not for the poor young Italian gentleman’s
-sake; you can’t think that!” said I, more and more amazed.
-
-“You all neglect me!” said Sarah, throwing down her knitting, and rising
-up in her passion. “I don’t want to hear of reasons or causes. You are
-not to tell me what young impostors you may fish up in the streets, or
-what ridiculous things your _protégés_ may want. Don’t say anything to
-me, I tell you! I desire to hear nothing about it. Make up what pretty
-romance you please, you are quite fit to do it; but I clear my hands of
-all such matters--you shall not even tell them to me!”
-
-And as she said this,--could I believe my eyes?--Sarah thrust her
-footstool out of the way, pushed back her screen, and making a momentary
-pause to search round all the dim depths of the room with her eyes, went
-out, leaving us two, Sara and me, staring at each other. What had
-affronted her? What could be the cause of her displeasure. She left her
-knitting thrown down into the basket, and the Times lying on the chair
-beside her seat. Nobody had done or said anything to displease her,
-unless my mention of the young Italian had done it. What strange secret
-irritation could be working in her, to produce these outbursts of
-passion without any cause?
-
-Little Sara stared at me with her bright eyes wide open, till Sarah had
-quite gone out of the room; then the wicked little creature, struck, I
-suppose, with something comic in my blank distressed look, burst out
-laughing. I cannot tell you how the sound of her laugh, thoughtless as
-she was, jarred upon me.
-
-“Is this how you live so amicably at the Park, godmamma?” cried Sara.
-“The people say you have the temper of an angel, and that nobody else
-could live with godmamma Sarah. I never believed it was true till now.
-You have the temper of an angel, godmamma. You forgave me the other
-night when I was so naughty; you kissed me, though I did not expect you
-would. And now here you have been kind to poor Italian Mr. Luigi, and
-you have got paid for it. What have the Italians done to godmamma Sarah
-to make her so savage at their very name?”
-
-“Ah! that is the question--what is it?” said I. “God knows!”
-
-“Then _you_ don’t know?” said little Sara. “Yet I could have thought you
-did, you looked so.”
-
-“How did I look?” cried I.
-
-“As if there were a secret somewhere; as if you were thinking how
-godmamma Sarah would take it; as if you were--well, just watching her a
-little, and trying to see whether she cared,” said the observant little
-girl.
-
-“Was I, indeed? was I so? Ah! I deserve to be punished. What right have
-I to go and dream over anybody’s looks and frame romances, as she says?
-Heaven forgive me! I’ll go and beg her pardon. I did not mean to do it.
-To think I should be so mean and suspicious! Little Sara, let me go.”
-
-Sara held me fast, clinging with her arms round my waist--and her
-provoking little face the little witch turned up close to mine. “Tell me
-first what the romance was, godmamma?” said Sara. “She accused you of
-it, and you confess; and I am sure a romance is far more in my way than
-yours. Tell me, please, this very moment, what romance you are making
-up? Has Mr. Luigi anything to do with it? Is it all about godmamma
-Sarah? Tell me directly, or I don’t know what I shall do. Sit down in
-this great chair, and begin--romance of real life.”
-
-“Ah, you foolish little girl! there’s many a romance of real life you
-durst not listen to, and I durst not tell you,” cried I. “I am not
-making up any romance. Nonsense! Child, get up. I’ll tell you about your
-Mr. Luigi, which is the only story in my head. He is looking for a lady;
-but that you know----”
-
-“Oh yes, and he can’t find her; the Countess Sermoneta,” said Sara, in
-her careless way.
-
-Just then, to my still greater wonder, Sarah returned to the room.
-Evidently she had heard the child’s words. I saw her come to a dead stop
-in the shadow close by the door, and put her hand upon her side, as if
-she were out of breath and had to recover herself. What did this strange
-flitting about mean? In her usual way she never moved from her seat,
-except to go to dinner. Her going away was extraordinary, and her coming
-back more extraordinary still. I could but gaze at her in amazement as
-she came slowly up, threading through the furniture in the half light.
-But Sara, who had still her arms clasped round me, had of course her
-back to her godmamma, and did not see that she had come back to the
-room.
-
-“Wasn’t it the Countess Sermoneta?” said Sara, “I know he was asking
-all over Chester for such a person, and was so disappointed. Did you
-never hear of a Countess Sermoneta, godmamma? If you heard it once you
-surely would remember the name.”
-
-Sarah had stopped again while the girl was speaking. Could she have been
-running up and downstairs that her breath came so quick, and she had to
-make such pauses to recover herself? I could not answer Sara for
-watching my sister, feeling somehow fascinated; but then, remembering
-that Sara had detected me in anxious observation of her godmother, I
-hurried on with the conversation to avoid any suspicion of that.
-
-“That is just what I told the young man, my dear child--that I never had
-heard the name,” said I; “but I promised to try all I could to get some
-news for him. It is very sad he should be disappointed, poor young
-fellow. I promised to ask Ellis, who has been centuries with the
-Mortimers, you know; and I thought, perhaps, your godmamma and I, if we
-had a talk together, might recollect somebody that married a
-foreigner----”
-
-Here I made a dead pause in spite of myself. Sarah had somehow managed
-to get back into her seat. She was wonderfully pale and haggard, and
-looked like a different creature. She looked to me as if all her powers
-were strained for some purpose, and that at any moment the pressure
-might be too much, and she might give way under it. I could not go on; I
-stopped short all at once, with a feeling that somehow I had been cruel.
-“Not to-night,” I said softly to Sara, “another time.” Sara was obedient
-for a miracle. We broke off the conversation just at that point, with an
-uneasy feeling among us that it had been far more interesting and
-exciting than it ought to have been; and that the best thing to be done
-was to bury it up, and conceal what we had been talking about. Such was
-the immediate result of my easy promise to consult my sister. Sarah sat
-very steadily through all that evening, remaining up even later than
-usual. She took no notice of anything that was said, nor mentioned why
-she went away. We were all very quiet, and had little to say for
-ourselves. What was this forbidden ground?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-It is very odd, when there happens to be any one bit of tabooed ground
-in a family, how impossible it is to keep off it. I daresay every member
-of a household, above childhood, knows that, more or less. If there is
-one matter that some two people are quite sure to disagree upon, whom it
-is quite the business of your life to keep comfortable and on good
-terms, isn’t that matter always turning up somehow? Doesn’t it float
-about in the air, and hover over your head, always ready to poke in when
-it is not wanted, and do what mischief it can? That is my experience, at
-least. And it was so much the worse in our case, because little Sara had
-no idea of keeping quiet, and no notion that her innocent mischief and
-meddling could do any real harm, or have any worse effect than putting
-her godmamma “in a passion.” Putting people in a passion was fun to the
-thoughtless little girl; it never came into her little saucy
-inconsiderate head that Sarah’s passion was not a flash of harmless
-lightning like her own, or that it meant anything which could disturb
-and overturn all my sister’s quiet life, and put me into a fever of
-bewilderment and anxiety. For days after I kept carefully off the
-subject, thinking it would be better to leave a polite message with
-Ellis for the Italian young gentleman if he called, and say I was sorry
-I could not get him any information, than to worry my poor sister, who
-was so unaccountably disturbed by hearing of him. Not that Sarah said
-anything about it; but she looked so haggard and anxious that it went to
-my heart. She came down even earlier than usual and sat up later;
-listened eagerly to all the conversation going on; sometimes, even,
-missed her drive; sat on the watch, as one might have supposed; but when
-she had gone out for her airing one day, I met the carriage,--and, can
-you believe it, the very blinds were down! If, when all was quiet, and
-nothing had happened, I used to wonder sometimes what sort of life she
-had led when she was younger, what friends she might have had, and what
-was her history when she was abroad, you may fancy how busy my mind was
-on that subject now.
-
-The more I thought it over, of course, the more I could make nothing of
-it. And what do you think at last was the conclusion I came to? That
-Sarah, being a great beauty, and always accustomed to admiration and
-almost a kind of worship, had forgotten, poor dear soul, that Time had
-changed all that, and that she was an old woman; and that she imagined
-the Italian we talked of, to be one of her old lovers come here to look
-for her, and was quite frightened he should see her, and know she was at
-the Park, and disturb us all with his raptures and passions. After
-turning it over for days and days, that was the very best explanation I
-could come to. Why she should be so tragical about it, to be sure, I
-could not tell. Perhaps she thought the story of all her old gay doings,
-if they were to come to my ears, would not sound just what a quiet old
-maid like me would approve of. Possibly, it might be somebody she had
-jilted that she was frightened to see; perhaps she was afraid of that
-Italian revenge one reads of in books. I do suppose people are still
-stabbed out of jealousy and revenge in Italy; and everybody carries a
-stiletto about him. If that was what Sarah thought of, no wonder she was
-frightened, poor dear. And I must say it quite went to my heart to see
-her so anxious and unsettled, watching every word that was said, and
-turning her keen eyes towards me--for she would not yield to change her
-seat, so that she might see for herself who came in--every time the door
-was opened, to know who it was by my face; and, above all, going out
-that dreary drive with the carriage blinds down, carrying all her dismal
-thoughts with her! If she would only have confidence in me, what a
-difference it would make! I could very soon have relieved her mind about
-it, I am sure. What was it to me if she _had_ been very gay and foolish
-when she was young? that was all over, and she was my very own sister.
-To think that I should stand upon my dignity, or blame Sarah for
-anything that was past. But then she was so proud! she always was so
-proud! she would never own to being less than perfect. The best thing
-was to disabuse her mind, if possible, and to make it evident that this
-Italian was a young man, far too young ever to have been a lover of
-Sarah’s. A lover! why, she might have been his mother as far as age was
-concerned--and that he was seeking, quite openly, an entirely different
-person. If I had been a courageous woman I should have gone through with
-my story the first night, and most likely saved my poor sister a great
-deal of unnecessary anxiety. But I never was brave at going into
-disagreeable conversation. I can’t say I ever was clever at conversation
-at all. And when a person runs away with a mistaken idea, and you can’t
-manage to get it out of her head, and the further you go the worse it
-becomes, what can you do? I tried to nerve myself up to going into it,
-but I could not. Whatever it was, it made her vastly uncomfortable, that
-was evident; and really when Sarah gets into her passions there is no
-reasoning with her, and I get flustered immediately, and she won’t
-listen to explanations. So on the whole I never had a more troublesome
-piece of business on my hands.
-
-As for little Sara Cresswell, she was the greatest tease and plague that
-ever was in a house. She worried me morning and night about the romance
-I was making up, and did not hesitate the least to carry on her
-persecution before Sarah, who looked at her with a kind of silent rage,
-which the saucy little puss never found out. But occupied and troubled
-as my mind was, it was impossible not to be amused at that inconsistent
-little creature and her goings on. She had brought out two great trunks
-with her, big enough to have held the whole of my wardrobe for winter
-and summer, though she knew very well we saw no company, and never
-required her to dress in the evening. And as for her lace and worked
-muslin, and all that foolish extravagance, that is so much in fashion
-again, there was no end to the store she had. Years before this I gave
-her the name of puss in velvet, for a very good reason. What do you
-think, at eleven years old, she had persuaded that poor innocent
-helpless man, her unfortunate papa, to do? Why, to get her a velvet
-frock, to be sure--not a pelisse, but a dress for evenings like any
-dowager old lady! Did ever anybody hear of anything so preposterous? And
-she kept up her fancy still, with velvet jackets, and even a little
-ridiculous velvet apron all trimmed and ornamented. Poor Mr. Cresswell,
-to be sure, was well off, and, indeed, rich in his way; but she might
-have ruined any man with her extravagance; and as to being ashamed of
-it, would lift up her face coolly, and tell you she never pretended to
-want to save papa’s money. At the same time she was as great as ever on
-the subject of dividing it all, and keeping just enough to live on. When
-that condition of things came about, she was to have no servants, but to
-do everything herself, and so were all the other people who were to
-share poor Mr. Cresswell’s money among them. When she went into the
-village with me she gave a wary eye to the cottages, how things were put
-tidy--and was quite resolved she should do it all, and be as happy as
-possible. But as for anything _genteel_, or middling, she scouted at it
-with the greatest contempt in the world. It was as good as a play to
-hear her. If my mind had been free to amuse myself, I should have quite
-enjoyed Sara’s vagaries; but, as it was, I could only be amused and
-provoked by them now and then. I do believe she was much happier at the
-Park than at home. That big dull house, with all the unchangeable
-furniture, was not a place for a fantastical young girl; she poked about
-the greenhouses in all the back corners where the gardener did not want
-her, and where she was always sweeping down his flower-pots; she
-rummaged through the great suites of rooms that nobody ever occupied;
-she came into the library to help me with my accounts, and tease me out
-of my wits; she went fishing about the house through all the nooks and
-corners, and read all the old novels over again; and then she could not
-persuade and worry me into doing everything she pleased, as she could
-her father. I believe just at that moment Sara being at the Park was a
-great comfort to me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-One day in the week I found little Sara all by herself in the library,
-very much engrossed about something. Indeed, she was in deep study, if
-that was to be believed. She had the great volume of the history of the
-county spread out before her, and a “Peerage” by her side; and at her
-other hand were some trumpery little books about Chester, of the
-handbook kind, Chester being, as everybody knows, a place of great
-antiquity, and, indeed, a kind of show place in this part of the
-country. She did not hear me when I came in, and as I came to an
-astonished pause behind her, quite bewildered to know what the little
-kitten could want with that great book, it was impossible she could see
-me. She was quite at the end of the county history, going over all the
-details about the families, and looking up the peerage, I could see, to
-find out all the connections and collateral branches. What could the
-child be so anxious about? Not our family, certainly, for we had no
-collateral branches. Just once for an instant, it shot through my mind,
-that her father might somehow have put that sly secret idea of his own,
-that, if she played her cards well, we might leave her heiress of the
-Park, in little Sara’s head; but a moment’s thought convinced me that
-there was nothing in that. She was far too bold and simple for any such
-plan; she would have repeated it out to me directly and scorned it; and
-she had not an idea of the value of wealth, or what was the good of
-being very rich. If I could have made her a Mortimer, she might have
-thought twice about it, but not for being made simply an heiress; that
-was a matter to which Sara was quite indifferent.
-
-But if it could not be us, who could it be? Had the child, perhaps, an
-admirer among some of the county families? I made a little rustle, I
-suppose, as I stood watching her; for she turned sharp round, found me
-out, and flushed up violently. In her hasty annoyance she threw the book
-over, shutting it upon her morsel of a hand, and defied me, turning
-round on her seat. Certainly if Mr. Cresswell had instructed his
-daughter to be very good, and amiable, and conciliatory, he had taken
-the very best plan to bring about a failure. Oh! but she was contrairy;
-the poor dear unfortunate man, what a life he must have led with that
-little puss!
-
-“Godmamma!” cried Sara, with her eyes flashing, “I never knew that you
-spied upon people before!”
-
-“Nor did I,” said I, quietly. “You may flatter yourself you are quite
-the first that ever found it out. Don’t crush your hand to pieces,
-child! _I_ don’t want to know what you are about.”
-
-On this the impatient little girl threw the book open again with a sound
-that echoed through all the library.
-
-“Everybody may know what I am doing! Now don’t be angry, godmamma, I
-mean I quite intended to tell you if I found anything,” cried Sara.
-“Look here, this is just what it is. You said you had promised to help
-that poor Italian gentleman, and I know quite well you have never tried
-yet to find out anything for him. You need not look suspicious. I am
-interested about him. There is no harm in that, is there? If he were as
-old as Ellis, and as fat as his servant, I should be interested in him
-all the same.”
-
-“Little Sara, never tell fibs,” said I. “I am just fifty, and you are
-only seventeen; but _I_ should not be interested in him, all the same,
-if he were old and fat, I assure you. Let me hear, now, what you have
-been doing. You have nothing at all to do with him, remember; it was me,
-and only me, he applied to; but let us hear what it is.”
-
-“Oh, it is nothing at all,” said Sara in a disappointed tone. “I thought
-somebody might be found out, in some of these books, that had married an
-Italian. I like the ‘Peerage;’ it is the funniest thing in the world to
-see how all the people are twisted and linked together like network.
-Everybody in the world must be everybody else’s cousin, if all the
-common people’s families were like the peers.”
-
-“To be sure we are,” said I, “only so distant it won’t count; but I
-don’t see what this has to do with what we were talking of before. Did
-you find nobody that had married an Italian in all the ‘Peerage,’ Puss?”
-
-“You are trying to make me angry, godmamma,” said Sara, “but I shan’t be
-angry. There is no Countess Sermoneta, though I have looked over all the
-county families, and all their connections that I can make out; and
-papa, who knows everybody, does not know any such person, for I made him
-think and tell me; and the only person I can think of who does know
-is----”
-
-Here little Sara stopped and looked very closely and keenly in my face.
-
-“Who, child?” said I. “Not me, I am certain. Whom do you mean?”
-
-“Can’t you guess?” “Why, godmamma Sarah, to be sure,” cried Sara. “I am
-quite sure she knows who the Countess Sermoneta is.”
-
-“Child!” cried I, “do you know what you are saying? Your godmamma Sarah!
-how dare you think of such a thing!”
-
-“Dare? is it anything wrong?” said Sara. “You are making a great deal
-more mystery of it than I should do, godmamma. After all, it isn’t a bit
-mysterious. Mr. Luigi wants to find this lady, and not knowing the
-country, he has come most likely to the wrong place; and I am sure he
-asks for her plain enough out. He could not do it plainer if she were
-Mrs. Smith instead of Countess Sermoneta; and there is nothing secret
-about it that I can see; only this, that godmamma Sarah knows her, and
-is so cross she won’t tell.”
-
-“Sara, Sara, don’t say so!” cried I, “you make me quite unhappy. How can
-your godmamma, who never sets her foot out of doors, one may say,--for
-she would almost see as much in her own chamber as out of the carriage
-windows,--how could she possibly know a person no one else knows? And as
-for being cross, I really consider it very disrespectful and unkind of
-you, Sara. She never was cross to you. I am sure she has always been
-very kind to you. You have had your own way so much, child, and been so
-spoiled, that you think you may say anything; but I must say, criticism
-on your godmothers----”
-
-“I never criticised my godmothers,” cried Sara, starting up. “I may be
-as wicked as you please, but I never did so. I said godmamma Sarah was
-cross. Why, everybody knows she is cross. I never said, nor pretended,
-she was cross to me; and as for kindness! you don’t expect me, I am
-sure, to give you _thanks_, godmamma, for that!”
-
-“What could you give me else?” said I, in some little surprise.
-
-Sara stamped her little foot on the floor in vexation and impatience.
-“Godmamma! what thing in the world could I give you but love?” cried the
-provoking little creature. “You don’t suppose _thanks_ would do? I thank
-Ellis when he opens the door for me, or anybody I don’t care for. I had
-rather, if you could, you did think me wicked and ungrateful, than
-suppose I would go and thank _you_.”
-
-“The child understands!” said I to myself, with tears in my eyes. Ah!
-what multitudes of people there are in the world who don’t understand! I
-was taken by surprise. But Sara was of that disposition that she would
-quarrel with everybody all round, and fight for her secret like a little
-Amazon, before she ever would let anybody find out the real feeling that
-was in her heart. If you think she threw her arms round me and kissed me
-after that, you are quite mistaken. On the contrary, if she could have
-pinched, scratched, or given me a good shake, she would have liked it, I
-believe.
-
-“But I want to know how this notion came into your perverse little
-head?” said I; “how can your godmamma know, Sara? and what could
-possibly make you imagine she did?”
-
-“Why did you watch her so the other night?” cried Sara. “You saw,
-yourself, she knew something about it. Didn’t she listen to every word,
-and look as if she could have told us in a minute? and I am sure she
-thinks it quite pleasant to keep up a secret we don’t know,” cried the
-little girl that knew no better; “it quite interests her. I wonder how
-people can have so little feeling for others. She is not sorry for poor
-Mr. Luigi, nor concerned to think of all his loss of time and patience.
-She would rather keep her secret than satisfy him. What can it matter to
-godmamma Sarah, whether he finds the Countess Sermoneta or not?”
-
-“What, indeed?” said I, with a sigh of bewilderment. That was just the
-question I could not answer. What had she to do with it? and by what
-strange witchcraft was it, that Sara and I had both instinctively mixed
-her up with this business of which, to be sure, in reality she did not,
-she _could_ not know anything? How dared we come to such conclusions
-with only looks to build upon! Seeing my own thoughts thus reflected in
-little Sara, I became quite shocked at myself.
-
-“Child, it is quite impossible she can know anything about it. Both you
-and I are infatuated,” cried I. “How can Sarah possibly be mixed up in
-such a matter? It is the merest folly. She doesn’t even know your Mr.
-Luigi, nor who he is, nor the very name of the lady he is looking for.
-It is nonsense, Sara, quite nonsense. How is it possible she could
-know?”
-
-“Oh, godmamma, I’ll tell you how; I have been thinking it out, and I am
-sure I am right. She was a long time abroad, you have often told me, and
-she knew a great many people,” cried Sara; “among the rest she knew this
-lady; and either because she likes her, or because she hates her, or
-because she won’t tell, she keeps all quiet about it. But she can’t help
-knowing, and saying she knows with her eyes. Godmamma Sarah, though she
-takes no notice, knows everything better than you do. Carson gets
-everybody’s news of them. Why, she even made my poor little Alice tell
-her all about Georgy Wilde, you know, and that unlucky brother of
-hers,--how often he came to our house, and everything about it; and
-godmamma Sarah did not leave me at peace about it either. I am sure they
-know everything that happens up in godmamma Sarah’s room. Godmamma, do
-_you_ never have a gossip with your maid?”
-
-“I have got no maid, child; you know that very well,” said I. “I never
-was brought up with any such luxury; and when I came to my kingdom I was
-too old to begin, and liked my own ways. But at all events, though you
-are so confident in your opinion, I am quite sure your godmamma can have
-no knowledge of this business, so don’t speak of it any more.”
-
-“Will you ask her?” said Sara; “if she knows nothing about it, she will
-not mind being asked. Why should you be afraid of speaking if she does
-not know anything about it? It might be awkward, perhaps, if she knew
-and would not tell; but it can’t matter if she doesn’t know. Will you
-ask her, godmamma? or will you let me?”
-
-“Oh, for heaven’s sake go away, child, and don’t drive me crazy!” I
-cried. “Go upstairs and decide what dress you will wear, you velvet
-kitten; go and gossip with _your_ maid. Here am I in a peck of
-troubles, and can’t see my way out or in, and you ask me to let _you_!”
-
-“You wouldn’t mind it in the least if you thought godmamma Sarah did not
-know,” said the provoking little girl; and so went gliding off,
-satisfied that I was of her opinion. When I was left to myself I dropped
-on a chair in utter despair, and could not tell what to think. The
-safest way was certainly to vow to myself that Sarah had nothing to do
-with it at all. What _could_ she have to do with it? Her strange anxious
-looks _must_ spring from some other cause. For once, at least, instinct
-_must_ have deceived itself. Sarah knew the world and the Italians. She
-was not so easily taken in as we were--nothing else was possible; and
-she was only annoyed to see how ready to be imposed upon I was.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-This conversation, of course, set my thoughts all into a ferment again.
-Little Sara was wonderfully quick-witted, if she was not very wise, as,
-indeed, was not to be expected at her years; and I confess her idea did
-return to my mind a great many times. Sarah might have known an Italian
-Countess in that obscure time of her life which I had no clue to; might
-even know some reason why persons from Italy might be looking for her,
-and might be nervous, for old acquaintance’ sake, of any one finding her
-out. When everything was so blank, any sort of sign-post was
-satisfactory. It was true that I don’t remember seeing Sarah display so
-much anxiety for any other person all her life before. But there might
-be reasons; and if it was a friendly feeling, I should certainly be the
-last person in the world to worry and aggravate my sister. I wish I
-could have composed my mind with all the reasonings I went through; but
-really, when I saw poor Sarah sitting all watchful and conscious at her
-knitting, not getting on at all with her work, hearing the least rustle
-in the room, or touch at the door; starting, and trying to conceal her
-start every time the bell rung, with all the features of her face
-growing thinner, and her hands and head trembling more than they ever
-used to do, it was quite impossible for me to persuade myself that her
-mind was not busy with something which had happened, or which was about
-to happen. It might be something as completely unconnected with the poor
-Italian as possible; most likely it was; but _something_ there was which
-agitated her most unaccountably, which I knew nothing about, and which
-she was determined I should not know. She was as conscious that I
-observed this strange change upon her as I was myself; and she faced me
-with such a resolution and defiance! No! I could read it in her eyes,
-and the full look she turned upon me whenever I looked at her--she would
-die rather than I should find it out.
-
-It is quite impossible, however ignorant you may be of the causes of it,
-to live in the close presence of a person devoured by anxiety without
-being infected by it, more or less. One gets curious and excited, you
-know, in spite of one’s self; and all the more, of course, if the cause
-is quite inexplicable and the trouble sudden. I lived in the kind of
-feeling that you have just immediately before a thunderstorm--the air
-all of a hush, so that you could hear the faintest stir of a bird, or
-rustle of a branch, yet never knowing the moment when, instead of the
-bird’s motion or the leaves’ tremble, it might be the thunder itself
-that clamoured in your ears.
-
-In this condition of mind Sara’s little side reference to Carson, and my
-sister’s acquaintance with everything that passed, did not fail to have
-its effect upon me, as well as other things. I don’t know that I would
-have been above questioning Carson if I could have got at her; but I did
-not see her once in three months, and could not have had any
-conversation with her without making quite an affair of it, and letting
-all the house know. Carson was not her right name. She had been Sarah’s
-maid when she was a young girl, and had married and lost her husband,
-and come back to the Park just in time to go abroad with her mistress,
-and being well known in the house by her maiden name, never got any
-other. I could not help wondering within myself if she knew, or how much
-she knew, of Sarah’s trouble, and its cause, whatever that might be.
-When the thought rose in my mind whether I might not try to get to
-private speech of Carson, I was out in the grounds making a little
-survey, to see how everything was looking for spring, and had just been
-at the lodge to see poor little Mary, who (as I had foreseen from the
-beginning) was bad with the whooping-cough, but no worse than was to be
-expected, and nothing alarming or out of the way. The carriage had just
-gone up to take Sarah out for her drive, and I, all in shelter of a
-clump of holly bushes, became the witness, quite unawares and without
-any intention, of a most singular scene. A footstep went softly by me
-upon the gravel. I was just behind the lodge, and within sight of the
-gate and the road without. I saw Carson, in her cap and in-doors dress,
-go softly out at the gate. She went out into the road, pretending to
-hold out her hand and raise her face to see whether it rained; as if it
-were not perfectly clear to any one that it did not rain, nor would,
-either, till the glass fell. She looked up and down with an anxious
-look, and lingered five minutes or more in that same position. Then she
-came in, and met the carriage just inside the gate, which Williams had
-come to her cottage door to open. “All’s quite bright and clear, ma’am,”
-I heard Carson say; “no appearance of rain. I hope you’ll have a
-pleasant drive.” A moment after the carriage wheeled quickly out, the
-blind being drawn down just as it turned into the road. Carson stood
-looking after it with a kind of grieved, compassionate expression, which
-made me like her better. She answered Williams’ question, “Whatever had
-come over Miss Sarah to make her so particklar about the weather; in the
-carriage, too, as she wouldn’t be none the wiser, wet nor dry!” very
-shortly, sighed, and turned to go back, mincing with true lady’s-maid
-nicety, along the road. The sigh and the pitying look on her face
-determined me. I took a quick step through the bushes and came up to
-her. The holly branches tore a bit of trimming, as long as my finger,
-off my garden hood (I think a hood a great deal more suitable than a hat
-for a person of my years); but I did not mind. Here was a chance if I
-could only use it well.
-
-“Carson,” said I, not to give her time to think, “my sister has surely
-grown very fidgety of late?”
-
-Carson stared at me in an alarmed, confused way; but soon got back her
-self-possession. “My missis was always a bit fidgety, ma’am, though no
-more than she had a right to be,” said this one real, true, faithful
-adherent, whom Sarah had secured to her cause.
-
-“I don’t know about such rights,” said I. “Now tell me, Carson;--you
-know a great deal more about her than I do. Don’t you think I can see
-how nervous and disturbed she is?--what’s the matter with my sister?
-what is she afraid of? and what do you and she expect to see upon the
-road, that you go out to look that the way is clear, before she ventures
-beyond the gate? Don’t tell me about rain, I know better; what did you
-expect to see?”
-
-Carson was taken entirely by surprise; she faltered, she grew red, she
-wrung her hands; she stammered forth something quite unintelligible,
-consisting of exclamations.--“Ma’am! Miss Milly!” and “My missis!” all
-confused and run into each other. She had no time to invent anything;
-and her fright and nervousness for the moment quite betrayed her.
-
-“I don’t want you to be false to your mistress,” said I, getting
-excited, in my turn, at finding myself so near a clue to this mystery,
-as I thought. “I don’t want you to tell me her secret, if she has
-one--only let me know. Is there some danger apprehended? Is there some
-one in the country that Sarah is afraid to see? What is wrong? Her limbs
-are trembling under her, and her face growing thinner. Only think of her
-going out with the blinds down, poor forlorn soul; What is wrong? It
-would mend matters, somehow, if I knew.”
-
-“Miss Milly,” said Carson, with a great many little coughs and clearings
-of her throat, “my missis has an attack on her nerves, that’s what it
-is; when she haves them attacks, she grows fidgety, as you say, ma’am. A
-little nice strengthening medicine, now, or a change of air, would be a
-nice thing. I said that to my missis just this very morning. I said ‘A
-few months at Brighton, now, or such like, would do you a world of good,
-ma’am.’ It’s on her nerves, that’s what it is.”
-
-Carson had got quite glib and fluent before she ended this speech; the
-difficulty had only been how to begin.
-
-“Now, Carson!” cried I, “if your mistress’s health suffers, and it turns
-out to be something you could have told me, you may be certain I shall
-call you to account for it. Think what you are saying. We Mortimers
-never have nervous attacks. I know you’re deceiving me. Think again.
-_Will_ you tell me what is wrong?”
-
-“Ma’am, Miss Milly, it’s an attack on the nerves,” cried Carson; “my
-missis has had them before. I couldn’t say more if I was to talk till
-to-morrow. I’ve got my caps to see to, I ask your pardon;--my missis is
-very particular about her caps.”
-
-Upon which Carson somehow managed to elude me, with a mixture of
-firmness and cunning quite extraordinary; and while I had still my eyes
-fixed on her, and was calling her to stay with all the authority of my
-position as acting mistress of the house, contrived to melt in at a back
-door and escape out of my hands, I never could explain how. Talk about
-controlling people with your eye, and swaying them by force of
-character, and all that! I defy anybody to sway a servant in a great
-house who is trained to the sort of thing, and knows how to recollect
-her work at a critical moment, and the nearest way to the back stairs.
-Carson had proved herself too many for me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-It seems I was destined to hear of nothing but this Italian. I had not
-kept faith to him, certainly. I had been startled and thrown back by
-finding out how the idea of him got to be involved in Sarah’s trouble;
-and really I did not care much about the Countess Sermoneta, whom I had
-never heard of. I had been interested in _him_, I allow; but how could I
-keep up an interest in strangers, with so much closer an anxiety near
-home?
-
-However, just the next day after I had spoken to Carson, Dr. Roberts
-called. Dr. Roberts was our rector; not a relation, but a kind of family
-connection, somehow, I really could not tell how. For three or four
-generations, at least, a Roberts had held our family living. There were
-so few of us Mortimers, as I have already explained, that the living
-could never be of any use to us; and our great-great-grandfathers had
-happened to be intimate, and so it came about that the living was as
-much an hereditary thing to the Robertses as our property was to us. Dr.
-Roberts was the best of good, easy, quiet men. He preached us a nice
-little sermon every Sunday. He would dine with the people who were in a
-condition to ask him, and make himself as agreeable as possible. He
-patted the children on the head, and wondered how it was that he had
-forgotten their names. Of course he had his own way of doing most
-things, and seldom varied; but then one could always calculate on what
-he would do and say, and wasn’t that a comfort? On the whole, he was the
-most excellent, good drowse of a man I ever knew. He led a very quiet
-life, with little interruption, except when, now and then, a storm
-seized upon him, in the shape of a new curate with advanced ideas. In
-such cases Dr. Roberts generally bowed to the tempest till its force was
-exhausted. He laughed in his quiet way at the young men. “They are all
-for making a fuss when they begin,” he said to me, confidentially; “but
-depend upon it, when they come to our age, Miss Milly, they’ll find the
-advantage of just getting along.” That was his favourite mode of
-progress. He was too stout and easy to make much haste. He loved to get
-along quietly; and really, as ours was a small parish, and nothing
-particular to make a commotion about, I don’t suppose there was much
-harm done.
-
-But only to think of Dr. Roberts becoming one of my assailants! I never
-could have expected any such thing. He came in, bringing some books from
-Miss Kate, who was as unlike him as possible. She was very active in the
-parish, and had something to do, with or for, everybody. She was rather
-Low-Church, and sent us books to read, to do us good, which, for my
-part, I always read faithfully, being very willing to have good done me,
-as far as it was practicable. Dr. Roberts sat down with a little sigh in
-the round easy chair, his particular chair, which Ellis wheeled out for
-him; not with a sentimental sigh, good man; but the road to the Park
-ascends a little, and the doctor, for the same reason as Hamlet, was a
-little scant of breath.
-
-We were all as usual. Sarah, in the shadow of the screen, with her
-knitting-pins in her hands, and her basket of wools and patterns at her
-side; myself opposite, commanding a view of the door and the great
-mirror, and all the room; little Sara, half a mile off, reading at one
-of the windows--for it was very mild for February, and really one did
-not feel much need of a fire. Dr. Roberts wandered on in his comfortable
-way for half an hour at least; he complimented Miss Mortimer on always
-being so industrious, and me upon my blooming looks! only think of that!
-but I dare say he must have forgotten that it was Sarah who was the
-beauty; and he gave us a quiet opinion upon the books he had brought us,
-that they were “very much in Kate’s style, you know;” and had a word to
-say about the curate--just one of his comfortable calls, when he has
-something to say about everybody; nothing more.
-
-“But, by-the-bye,” said the good Doctor, “I had almost forgotten the
-principal thing. There’s something romantic going on among us just now,
-Miss Milly. Where is little Miss Cresswell? she ought to hear this.”
-
-“What is it, Doctor?” I asked, rather startled at this beginning.
-
-“Well, the fact is, I have had a strange sort of visitor,” said the
-Doctor, with a soft little laugh; “or rather two, I should say,” he
-continued, after a little pause, “ha! ha! I had Hubert to him, who
-pretends to speak Italian, you know, ha! ha! He could speak Dante,
-perhaps; but he can’t manage the Transteverine. I can’t say that I did
-not enjoy it a little. These young fellows, Miss Milly, are so happy in
-their own good opinion. Poor Hubert was terribly put out.”
-
-“Who are you speaking of?” asked I again.
-
-“Well, of a visitor I had; or two, as I have just said,--the master and
-the man. The master speaks English very tolerably; the man is the real,
-native, original article, newly imported. I am in good condition
-myself,” said the good Doctor, giving a quiet unconscious pinch on his
-plump wrist; “but anything like that, you know, goes quite beyond me.
-You would have laughed to see poor young Hubert, poor fellow, talking to
-him in his high Dantesque way, and the fat fellow dashing in through the
-midst of it all, helter skelter, in _real_ Italian. Ha! ha! it was a
-most amusing scene.”
-
-“Italian?” said I, scarcely venturing to speak above my breath, my
-consternation was so great.
-
-“Yes,” said Dr. Roberts, calmly, with still a little agitation of
-laughter about his voice--the discomfiture of the curate amused him
-excessively--“Italian. The young man called on me to ask after a lady,
-whom he supposed to be living in this neighbourhood, a Countess
-Sermoneta. Did you ever hear of such a person, Miss Milly?”
-
-“No,” said I, as quietly as I could. Sarah took no notice, showed no
-curiosity, betrayed to me that she _had_ heard this name before, and did
-not learn the particulars of the stranger’s inquiry for the first time.
-In general she liked to hear the news; and though she rarely took any
-part in the conversation, listened to it, and showed that she did so.
-To-day she never raised her head. Perhaps I was over-suspicious; but
-this entire want of interest only added to my bewildering doubts.
-
-At this point little Sara came forward, and thrust herself, as was
-natural, into a conversation so interesting to her; I only wondered she
-had not done it sooner.
-
-“That is poor Mr. Luigi, that has been so much talked of in Chester,”
-cried Sara; “and godmamma met him on the road, and promised to try and
-find out for him. Do make her take it up, please Dr. Roberts. Did _you_
-never hear of the lady either? How strange nobody should have heard of
-her! Who was she, does he say? What does he want with her? do tell us,
-dear Dr. Roberts, please.”
-
-Sarah’s knitting-pins had dropped out of her hand when her goddaughter
-broke in upon Dr. Roberts’ good-humoured drowsy talk. I turned to help
-her to pick them up, but she waved me away. What _could_ be the matter?
-she was trembling all over like an aspen leaf.
-
-“My dear Miss Cresswell, he gave me no information whatever,” said the
-Doctor, smiling most graciously upon the pretty dainty little creature
-in her velvet jacket! “and indeed, he was not quite the kind of man that
-I should undertake to question. Hubert might do it, you know, ha! ha!
-but then he rather stands on the dignity of his office, and would not
-mind putting you, yourself, dangerous though it might be, through your
-catechism. I did all that lively curiosity could do, you may believe, to
-find out who _he_ is, and who _she_ was, but I made nothing of it. He,
-as you seem to know, calls himself Mr. Luigi, and he wants the Countess
-Sermoneta, a person no one in Cheshire ever heard of. I told him I had
-no doubt he was mistaken in the locality; near Manchester, perhaps, or
-Chichester, or some other place with a similar-sounding name; but I
-don’t think he took in what I said. And you saw him, too, Miss Milly?
-very odd, wasn’t it? He must have made a mistake in the place.”
-
-“I suppose so,” said I, quite faintly. Sarah’s knitting-pins had
-actually fallen out of her hands again!
-
-“I promised to inquire and let him know if I heard anything,” said the
-rector; “but if I do not know, and you do not know, Miss Milly,--we’re
-about the likeliest people in the county, I suspect,--I don’t think it
-is much good making other inquiries. You are sure you never heard the
-name?”
-
-“Never in my life, so far as I recollect,” said I. “I promised to make
-inquiries, too, and asked him to come to the Park, and I would let him
-know. But that seems merely tantalising him. If you will give me the
-address, Dr. Roberts, I will write him a note.”
-
-He gave me the address in his own leisurely way, and then he returned to
-the scene at the rectory, where he had called the curate, who happened
-to be with him at the time, to talk to Mr. Luigi’s servant, not without
-some intention of doing the good young man a mischief, I am sure; and
-how poor Mr. Hubert talked Dantesque, as the Doctor said, shaking his
-portly person with quiet laughter, and the fat Italian burst in with a
-flood of what Dr. Roberts called _real_ Italian. I could understand how
-it would be from what I had seen myself; but I confess I found it very
-difficult to listen and smile as it was necessary to do. There sat
-Sarah, close up in the shelter of her screen, never lifting her head or
-making any sign to show that she heard the conversation; not a smile
-rose upon her face; _she_ saw nothing amusing in it; her lips were firm
-set together, and all the lines of her face drawn tight; and though her
-cheeks retained a kind of unnatural glow, which, for the first time in
-my life, made me think that Sarah used paint, or something to heighten
-her complexion, her brow and chin, and all except that pink spot, were
-ghastly grey, and colourless. She had stopped her knitting altogether
-now, and was rubbing her poor fingers, making believe to be very much
-occupied with them, stooping down to rub the joints before the fire. It
-quite went to my heart to see her sitting so forlorn there, shut up
-within herself. Ah! whatever it was she feared, could I ever be hard
-upon her? could I ever do anything but help her to bear what misfortune
-or anxiety she might be under? I thought Dr. Roberts would never be done
-with his story. I thought he would never go away. I dare say he, on his
-part, thought we had just had a quarrel, or something of that sort, and
-gave Miss Kate an amusing description of us when he went home; for he
-had an amusing way of telling a story. And then, how to get quit of
-little Sara when he was gone? I felt sure my sister would break out upon
-me somehow, very likely without taking any notice of the real reason;
-but all that silent excitement must find an outlet somehow; either that,
-or her mind would give way, or she would break a blood-vessel, or
-something dreadful would happen. I knew Sarah’s ways very well, we had
-been so long together. I knew that, one way or other, she must get it
-out, and relieve herself; and, to be sure, there was nobody whom she
-_could_ relieve her feelings upon but me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-All in haste, and in a peremptory tone, to which nobody could be less
-used to than she was, I had sent little Sara away on some commission,
-invented on the spur of the moment, when the door closed on Dr. Roberts.
-The child looked up in my face with an amazed uncomprehension of any
-order issued to her; I fancy I can see her great eyes growing larger and
-blacker as she turned, asking what I meant. But Sara had understanding
-in her, wilful as she was; she saw there was occasion for it, though she
-could not understand how; and whenever her first surprise was over, she
-went off and obeyed me with an alacrity which I shall always remember.
-We two were left alone. I took up some work that lay on the table. I
-could not tell whether it was mine or Sara’s, or who it belonged to. I
-bent my head fumbling over it, too agitated to see what I was doing. Now
-the volcano was about to explode. Now, even, an explanation might be
-possible.
-
-“What was that I heard from you just now?” cried Sarah, in her shrill
-whisper. “You were so lost to all common feeling, you were so forgetful
-of my claims and everybody else’s, that you invited a common foreign
-impostor to come here--here, without an idea what bad intentions he
-might have--here to my house!”
-
-“Sarah! for heaven’s sake what do you know about him? What have you to
-do with this young man?” said I, the words bursting, in spite of myself,
-from my lips.
-
-I suppose she did not expect this question. She stopped with a flood of
-other reproaches and accusations ready to be poured forth, staring at
-me--staring--there is no other word for it. Her looks were dreadful to
-me. She looked like some baited animal that had turned to bay. Was it my
-doing? Presently her senses came back to her. And I was glad, really
-thankful, when I saw that it was mere passion--one of her fits of
-temper, poor dear soul! that had returned upon her again.
-
-“You dare to ask me such questions?” she cried; “you, a poor simpleton
-that throws our doors open to any adventurer! This is what I have to do
-with him. He shall never enter my house. I’ll have him expelled if he
-comes here. I’ll muster the servants and let them know who’s
-mistress,--you, a rustical fool that knows nothing of the world, and are
-ready to throw yourself at anybody’s head that flatters you a little, or
-me, that knows life and can detect a cheat! What! you’ll go slander me
-in addition, will you? You worry and drive me out of my senses, and then
-pretend that I have something to do with every impostor you pick up in
-the streets. I tell you I’ll have him turned out if he dares to come to
-this house. I will not have my peace molested for your fool’s tricks and
-intrigues. An Italian forsooth! a fellow that will cringe to you, and
-flatter you, and be as smooth as velvet. I’ll have him thrown into
-prison if he dares to come here!”
-
-“Sarah! Sarah! for what reason? the poor young man has never harmed
-you,” I cried, holding up my hands.
-
-She gave a strange bitter cry. “Fool! how can you tell whether he has
-harmed me?” she cried out, wringing her thin hands: then suddenly
-stopping short, came to herself again, and stared at me once more.
-Always that stare of blank resistance--the hunted creature brought to
-bay. She had been standing while she spoke before. Now she dropped into
-her chair, exhausted, breathless, with a strange look of fury at
-herself. She thought she had betrayed herself--and most likely so she
-had, if I had possessed the slightest clue by which to find her mystery
-out.
-
-“I beg and entreat you to be calm, and not to excite yourself,” cried I,
-trying, if it were possible, to soothe her. “I know nothing whatever
-about this young Italian, Sarah. I took an interest in him from his
-appearance, and something in his voice--and because he was a stranger
-and had no friends. But I will write to him immediately not to come--he
-is nothing to me. He has neither flattered me nor asked anything of me.
-I see no harm in him; but I shall certainly write and say he is not to
-come. You might know well that there is no stranger in the world for
-whom I would cross you.”
-
-“Oh, I am used to fair speeches, Milly,” said my sister, “quite used to
-them; and used to being made no account of when all’s done. I, that
-might have been so different. I might have had a coronet, and been one
-of the leaders of life, instead of vegetating here; and, instead of
-respecting me after I have resigned all that, I am to be badgered to
-death by your old maid’s folly, and have a vulgar impostor brought in
-upon me to oust me out of my home. Bring in whom you like, thank heaven,
-I’m more than a match for you. I tell you, you shall bring nobody
-here--it is my house, and was my house before you were born. I shall
-keep it mine, and leave it to whom I like. Your romances and fictions
-are nothing in this world to me. I am mistress, and I will be mistress.
-You are only my younger sister, and I have nothing in the world to
-consult but my own pleasure. I am not to be driven into changing my mind
-by any persecution. I advise you to give up your schemes before you
-suffer for them. Nobody, I tell you,--no man in the world with evil
-designs against me, and my fortune, and my honour, shall come into my
-house!”
-
-“Sarah! what on earth do you mean? Who is plotting against you? Your
-fortune and your honour? What are you thinking of? You have gone too far
-to draw back now,” cried I, in the greatest excitement. “Explain
-yourself before we go any farther--what do you mean?”
-
-Once more she stared at me blankly and fiercely; but she had got it out,
-and had more command of herself after she had relieved her mind. Could
-it be only an outburst of passion? but my spirit was up.
-
-“The house is my house as well as yours,” I cried, when she did not
-answer. “I have a voice as powerful as yours in everything that has to
-be done. Yes, I can see what is going to happen. We are the two
-Mortimers that are to send it out of the name. But I will not give up my
-rights, either for the prophecy or for any threats. I have never made a
-scheme against you, nor ever will. You have been wretched about
-something ever since that day you were so late on your drive. I have
-seen it, though I cannot tell the reason. This Italian cannot be any
-connection of yours. He is a young man; he could not be more than born
-when you were abroad. You might be his mother for age. What fancy is it
-that you have taken into your mind, about him? What do you suppose you
-can have to do with him? Sarah, for heaven’s sake! what is the matter?
-If you ever had the slightest love for me, take me into your confidence,
-and let me stand by you now.”
-
-For when I was speaking, some of my words, I cannot tell which, had
-touched some secret spring that I knew nothing of; and dropping down her
-head upon her hands she gave such a bitter, desperate groan that it went
-to my very heart. I ran to her and fell on my knees by her side. I
-kissed her hand, and begged her to have confidence in me. I was ready
-to promise never to disturb her, never to speak of setting up a will of
-my own again; but I felt I must not give in; it would be now or never.
-She would trust me and tell me her trouble whether it was real or only
-fanciful; and her mind would be relieved when it was told.
-
-But the now passed and the never came. She lifted up her head and pushed
-me away; she looked at me with cold stony eyes; she relapsed without a
-moment’s interval into her usual chilly, common-place, fretful,
-tone--that tone of a discontented mind and closed heart which had
-disturbed and irritated mine for years. All her old self returned to her
-in an instant. Even her passion had been elevating and great in
-comparison. She looked at me with her cold observant eyes, and bade me
-get up, and not look so like a fool. “But it is impossible to think of
-teaching you what anybody else of your age and position must have
-learned thirty years ago,” she said, twitching her dress, which, when I
-foolishly threw myself down beside her, I had put my knee upon unawares,
-from under me. I cannot describe to anybody the mortified, indignant
-feeling with which I scrambled up. Think of going down upon my knees to
-her, ready to do anything or give up anything in the world for her, and
-meeting this reception for my pains! I felt almost more bitterly
-humiliated and ashamed than if I had been doing something wrong. I, who
-was not a young girl but an elderly woman, long accustomed to be
-respected and obeyed! If she had studied how to wound me most deeply,
-she could not have succeeded better. I got up stumbling over my own
-dress, and hastily went out of the room. I even went out of the house,
-to calm myself down before I met anybody. I would not like to confess to
-all the angry thoughts that came into my mind for the next hour in the
-garden. I walked about thinking to get rid of them, but they only grew
-more and more vivid. My affection was rejected and myself insulted at
-the same moment. You would not suppose, perhaps, that one old woman
-could do as much for another; but I assure you, Sarah had wounded me as
-deeply as if we had been a couple of young men.
-
-When I found my temper was not going down as it ought to do, but on the
-contrary my imagination was busy concocting all sorts of revengeful
-things to say to her, I changed my plan, and went back to the library
-and looked over the newspapers. Don’t go and think over it, dear good
-people, when you feel very much insulted and angry. Read the papers or a
-novel. I went down naturally when I stopped thinking. After all, poor
-Sarah! poor Sarah! whom did she harm by it? only herself, not me.
-
-But anybody will perceive at a glance that after this I was more
-completely bewildered than ever, and could not undertake to say to my
-own mind, far less to anybody else, whether there was or was not any
-real reason for Sarah’s nervousness, or whether she had actually any
-sort of connection with this young Italian. Sometimes I made myself
-miserable with the idea that the whole matter looked like an insane
-fancy. People when they are going mad, as I have heard, always take up
-the idea that they are persecuted or wronged somehow. What if Sarah’s
-mind was tottering, and happening to catch sight of this young man,
-quite a stranger, and very likely to catch her eye, her fancy took hold
-of him as the person that was scheming against her? The more I thought
-over this, the more feasible it looked; though it was a dreadful thing
-to think that one’s only sister was failing in her reason, and that any
-night the companion of my life might be a maniac. But what was I to
-think? How was it possible, no madness being in the case, that a young
-unknown stranger could threaten the fortune and honour of Sarah
-Mortimer, born heiress of the Park, and in lawful possession of it for
-more than a dozen years? What possible reason could there be for her, if
-she was in her sane senses, fearing the intrigues of anybody, much less
-a harmless young foreigner? But then that groan! was it a disturbed mind
-that drew that involuntary utterance out of her? Heaven help us! What
-could any one think or do in such circumstances? I was no more able to
-write a note to Mr. Luigi that evening than I was to have gone out and
-sought him. Things must take their chance. If he came he must come. I
-could not help myself. Besides, I had no thought for Mr. Luigi and his
-lost Countess. I could think only of my sister. No! no! little Sara was
-deceived, clever as she was. Sarah knew no Countess Sermoneta--her mind
-disturbed and unsettled, had fixed upon the strange face on the way,
-only as some fanciful instrument of evil to herself.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-Next morning at breakfast I found a letter waiting me, in an unknown
-hand--an odd hand, not inelegant, but which somehow gave a kind of
-foreign look even to the honest English superscription. The address was
-odd, too. It was Miss _Milla_ Mortimer, a very extraordinary sort of
-title for me, Millicent. That is the work of diminutives--they are apt
-to get misunderstood and metamorphosed into caricatures of names.
-
-The letter inside was of a sufficiently odd description to correspond
-with the address; this is how it was expressed:--
-
- “MADAME,
-
- “You will pardon me if I say Madame, when I perhaps should ought to
- say Mademoiselle. Madame will understand that the titles of honour,
- which differ in every country, do much of times puzzle a foreigner.
- Since I had the honour of making an encounter with Mademoiselle, I
- have more than once repeated my searches; and all in finding no
- one, it has come to me in the head to go to another place, where
- there may be better of prospects. I have, then, made the conclusion
- to go to Manchester, where I shall find, as they say, some
- countrymen, and will consult with their experience. There are much
- of places, they say, with Chester in the name. I go to make a
- little voyage among them. If I have the happiness to find the
- Contessa, I will take the liberty of making Madame aware of it. If
- it is to fail, I must submit. I shall return to Chester; and all in
- making my homage to Madame, will use the boldness of asking if
- anything of news respecting the Contessa may have come to her
- recollection. In all cases Madame will permit me to remember with
- gratitude her bounty to a stranger.
-
-“LUIGI S----.”
-
-
-
-Sara and I were, as usual, alone at the breakfast-table, and to tell the
-truth, I prized this interval when Sarah’s eyes were not upon me, nor
-all the troublous matters conveyed in her looks present to my mind, as
-quite a holiday season,--when I could look as I liked, say what I
-pleased, and be afraid of nobody. Besides, though I was more and more
-uneasy about Sarah, I was not disturbed in my mind about this young man
-to the degree I had been, nor so entirely mystified about any possible
-connection between them. Since last evening, thinking it all over, it
-came to be deeply impressed upon my mind that there was no connection
-between them: that my poor sister knew nothing whatever about him or his
-Italian Countess. Simply that Sarah’s mind, poor dear soul, was giving
-way, and that catching sight of the strange face on the road, she had
-somehow identified and fixed upon it as the face of an unknown agent of
-trouble, the “somebody” who always injures, or persecutes, or haunts the
-tottering mind. It was but little comfort to me to conclude upon this,
-as you may suppose, but it seemed to explain everything. It cleared up a
-quite unintelligible mystery. Poor Sarah! poor soul! She who had known
-such a splendid morning, such an exciting noon, such a dull leaden
-afternoon of life,--and how dark the clouds were gathering round her
-towards the night!
-
-But being thus eased in my mind about the young man, the kindness I had
-instinctively felt to him came strong upon me. I remembered the look he
-had, quite affectionately, the nice, handsome, smiling, young fellow!
-Who could it be that he was like? Somebody whom I remembered dimly
-through the old ages; and his voice, too? His voice made a thrill of
-strange wondering recollections run through me. Certainly that voice had
-once possessed some power or influence over my mind. I decided he would
-not find his Countess in Manchester. Fancy the ridiculous notion! A
-Countess in Manchester! No. She must belong about Cheshire, somewhere;
-and I must have known her in my youth.
-
-So I read his note twice over, with a good deal of interest, and then
-naturally, as we had talked of him together so often, handed it to Sara.
-Now I did not in the least mean to watch Sara while she read it, but,
-having my eyes unconsciously upon her face at the moment, was startled,
-I acknowledge, by seeing her suddenly flush up, and cast a startled
-glance at me, as if the child expected that something more than usual
-was to be in the note. Who could tell what romantic fancies might be in
-her head? It is quite possible her imagination had been attracted by the
-stranger, and perhaps if she had heard that Mr. Luigi had fallen
-romantically in love with her, Sara would have been less surprised and
-much less shocked than I should. However, there was no such matter, but
-only a sensible, though, I must confess, rather odd and Frenchified
-note. After the first glance she read it over very calmly and carefully,
-then laid it down, with something that looked wonderfully like a little
-shade of pique, and cried out in her sharpest tone:
-
-“Oh, godmamma, how sensible!--to be sure to be an Italian, and young, he
-must be a perfect miracle of a Luigi. Actually, because there are
-countrymen of his in Manchester--music teachers and Italian masters, of
-course--to give up an appointment with a lady, and at such a house as
-the Park! I think he must be quite the most sensible and pretty-behaved
-of young men.”
-
-“I think he shows a great deal of sense,” said I, not altogether pleased
-with the child’s tone; “but if you will excuse me saying so, Sara, I
-think it is just a little vulgar of you to say ‘at such a house as the
-Park.’”
-
-Sarah flushed up redder and redder. I quite thought we were to have a
-quarrel again.
-
-“Oh, of course, godmamma, if I had been speaking of a--of an English
-gentleman; but you know,” said the wicked little creature, looking
-boldly in my face, “you set him down at once, whenever you heard of him,
-as an adventurer,--a count, you know,--one of the fellows that came
-sneaking into people’s houses and wanted to marry people’s daughters. I
-am only repeating what you said, godmamma. It was not I that said it.
-And now you perceive this good respectable young man does not attempt
-anything of the kind.”
-
-“But then you see we, at the Park, have no daughters to marry,” said I,
-looking at her rather grimly.
-
-“Oh, to be sure, that makes all the difference,” cried Sara, bursting
-open her own letters with a half-ashamed, annoyed laugh. I have no doubt
-she had said twice as much as she meant to say, the impatient little
-puss, and was ashamed of herself. She had set her heart on seeing Mr.
-Luigi, that was the plain truth of the matter. Seeing him at the Park,
-where of course papa could have nothing to say against the introduction,
-hearing all about his search after the unknown lady, exercising her
-wiles upon him, turning him into a useless creature like that poor boy
-Wilde, in Chester, who was good for nothing but to waylay her walks and
-go errands for her. That was what she wanted, the wicked little
-coquette. It was just as well Mr. Luigi had taken care of himself, and
-kept out of the way. I really thought it was right to read her a lecture
-on the occasion.
-
-“Sara, you are quite disappointed the poor young man is not coming. You
-wanted to make a prey of him, you artful puss,” said I. “You thought,
-out here in the country, with nothing else to do, it would be good fun
-to make him fall in love with you--you know you did! And I think it is
-not at all a creditable thing, I assure you. How can you excuse yourself
-for all the damage you have done to that young Wilde?”
-
-“Damage!” cried Sara. “If I am a puss, I may surely pounce upon a mouse
-that comes in my way,” she said spitefully; and then putting on her most
-innocent look;--“but, indeed, it is very shocking to have such
-suspicions of me, especially as I am a fright now, godmamma Sarah says.”
-
-“It is just as well Mr. Luigi does not put himself in your way,” said I;
-“and it would be very wicked of you to do any harm to him, or attempt
-such a thing; and I say so particularly, because I think you are quite
-inclined to it, Sara, which is very wrong and very surprising. You are
-not such a beauty as your godmamma Sarah was, but you have just the same
-inclinations. It is something quite extraordinary to me.”
-
-The little puss looked at me with her wicked eyes blazing, and her face
-flushed and angry. She looked quite beautiful in spite of her short
-little curls. I am not sure that she might not, when she grew older, be
-very near as great a beauty as her godmamma. She did not make any
-answer, but bit her lips, and set her little red mouth, and looked a
-very little sprite of mischief and saucy daring. She was not abashed by
-what I said to her. She was a thoughtless child, aware only of a strange
-mischievous power she had, and thinking no harm.
-
-“For I know,” said I, half to myself, “that poor Mr. Luigi will come
-back. I feel as if I had known him half a lifetime ago. His voice is a
-voice I used to hear when I was young. I can’t tell whose voice it is,
-but I know it. He’ll come back here. He won’t find the lady in
-Manchester, or any other chester; he’ll find her in Cheshire, if he
-finds her at all.”
-
-“Did godmamma Sarah say so?” cried Sara, suddenly losing her own
-self-consciousness in her interest in this bit of mystery.
-
-“Child, do not be rash,” cried I, in some agitation. “Your godmamma
-knows nothing about her; it is all a mistake.”
-
-“Did you ask her?” said Sara. “Godmamma, it is written in her face. When
-the rector was speaking, when you were speaking, even when I was
-speaking, it was quite evident she knew her abroad, and remembered who
-she was; but she will not tell. It is not a guess; I am perfectly sure
-of it. She knows all about her, and she will not tell.”
-
-“It is quite a mistake, Sara,” cried I, trembling in spite of myself.
-“She has taken some fancy into her head about Mr. Luigi, some merely
-visionary notion that he has some bad intention, I cannot tell you what.
-But I am certain she knows nothing about this Countess. Child, don’t
-think you know better than anybody else! I have thought a great deal
-about it, and made up my mind. Your godmamma has grown fanciful, she has
-taken this into her head. Don’t be rash in speaking of your fancies; it
-might give her pain;--and your idea is all a mistake.”
-
-“Will you ask her? or will you let me ask her?” cried Sara. “If she says
-‘No,’ I shall be satisfied.”
-
-“I will do no such thing,” said I. “She is my only sister, I will do
-nothing to molest or vex her; and, Sara, while I am here, neither shall
-you.”
-
-Sara did not say anything for a few minutes. She allowed me to pick up
-my letter in silence, for we had finished breakfast. She let me gather
-up my papers and ring the bell, and make my way to the door. Then, as I
-stood there waiting for Ellis, she brushed past me rapidly. “Godmamma”
-said Sara, looking into my face for a moment, “all the same, _she
-knows_,” and had passed the next instant, and was gliding upstairs
-before I had recovered my composure. How pertinacious she was! Against
-my will this had an effect on me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-Great and many were my musings what steps I ought to take; or, indeed,
-whether I ought to take any steps in the strange dilemma I was in. I
-considered of it till my head ached. What if Sarah’s mind were possibly
-just at that delicate point when means of cure might be effectual? but
-how could _I_ bring her to any means of cure? There have been many
-miserable stories told about false imputations of insanity and dreadful
-cruelties and injustice following, but I almost think there might be as
-many and as sad on the other side, about friends watching in agony,
-neither able nor willing to take any steps until it was too late, far
-too late, for any good. This was the situation I felt myself in; no
-matter whether I was right or wrong in my opinion, this was how I felt
-myself. I suppose nobody can think of madness appearing beside them in
-the person of their nearest companion, without a dreadful thrill and
-terror at their heart; but at the same time I felt that, however
-inevitable this might be, I must first come to it unmistakably. I must
-first see it, hear it, beyond all possibility of doubt, before I
-ventured to whisper it even to the secret ear of a physician.
-
-All this floated through my mind with that dreadful faculty of jumping
-at conclusions that imagination always has. Did ever anybody meet with
-any great misfortune, which has been hanging some time over them,
-without going through it a thousand times before the blow really fell,
-and the dreadful repetition was done away with once and for ever? How
-many times over and over, sleeping and waking, does the death-bed
-watcher go through the parting that approaches before it really comes?
-Dying itself, I think,--one naturally thinks what kind of a process that
-is, as one comes near the appointed natural period of its coming,--dying
-itself must be rehearsed so often, that its coming at last is a real
-relief to the real actor. Not only does what is real go through a
-hundred performances in one’s imagination, but many a scene appals us
-that, thank heaven, we are never condemned to go through with. I could
-not see before me what was to happen, nor into Sarah’s mind to know
-what was astir there; but I tortured myself all the same, gathering all
-the proofs of this new dismal light thrown upon her, in my mind. All
-insane people make up a persecutor or pursuer for themselves. Poor Sarah
-had found hers in the strange face,--it was so unusual in our quiet
-roads to see a strange face!--which she met all at once and without
-warning, on the quiet road.
-
-I recollected every incident, and everything confirmed my idea. She had
-taken a panic all at once,--she had driven five miles round to get out
-of his way; from that hour painful watchfulness and anxiety had come to
-her face. Carson was sent out to see that the road was clear, before,
-poor soul, she would venture out, though with the carriage blinds drawn
-down. Ah! I think if my only communication with the open air and the
-out-of-doors world was in the enclosure of that carriage with the blinds
-drawn down, I should certainly go mad, and quickly too! I had a long
-afternoon by myself in the library that day. I went back, as well as my
-memory would carry me, into the history of the Mortimers. Insanity was
-not in our family,--no trace of it. We had never been very clever, but
-we had been obstinately sane and sober-minded. My mother’s family too,
-the Stamfords, so far as I know, were all extremely steady people. It is
-odd when one individual of a family, and no more, shows a tendency to
-wander; at sixty, too, all of a sudden, with no possible reason. But who
-can search into the ways of Providence? It might perhaps never go any
-further; it might be the long silence of her life, and perhaps long
-brooding over such things as may have happened to her in the course of
-it. Something must have happened to Sarah; she was not like me. She had
-really lived her life, and had her own course in the world. She had
-known her own bitterness, too, no doubt, or she--she, the great beauty,
-the heiress,--would not have been Sarah Mortimer sitting voiceless by
-the fireside. She had been too silent, had too much leisure to go over
-her life. Her brain had rusted in the quietness; terrors had risen
-within her that took form and found an execution for themselves
-whenever, without any warning, she saw a strange face. This explained
-everything. I could see it quite clear with this interpretation; and
-without this nothing could explain it; for the young Italian looking for
-his friend, the lady whom nobody had ever heard of, could be nothing in
-the world to Sarah Mortimer.
-
-Thinking over this, it naturally occurred to me that it would be
-important to let my poor sister know that this innocent young object of
-her fears had left the neighbourhood. It might, even, who knows? restore
-the balance to her poor mind. I got up from my chair the moment I
-thought of that, but did not go out of the library quite so quickly as
-you might have supposed, either. I was afraid of Sarah’s passions and
-reproaches; I always was. She had a way of representing everybody else
-as so unkind to her, poor dear soul, and of making out that she was
-neglected and of no consequence. Though I knew that this was not the
-case, I never could help feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps if I could only
-have put myself in her place, I might have felt the same; but it made me
-very timid of starting any subject before her that she did not like,
-even though it might be to relieve her mind.
-
-I went slowly into the drawing-room. I thought most likely little Sara
-was dressing upstairs, and we two would have a little time to ourselves.
-When I went into the great room it was lying in the twilight, very dim
-and shadowy. The great mirror looked like another dimmer world added on
-to this one which was already so dim,--a world all full of glimpses and
-gliding figures, and brightened up by the gleams of the firelight which
-happened to be blazing very bright and cheerful. There were no curtains
-closed nor blinds down. Four great long windows, each let into the
-opposite wall a long strip of sky, the grass, and leafless trees, giving
-one a strange idea of the whole world outside, the world of winds, and
-hills, and rivers, and foreign unknown people. It was not light that
-came in at these windows; it was a sort of grey luminous darkness, that
-led our eyes up to the sky and blurred everything underneath. But in the
-centre of the room burned that ruddy centre of fire, a light which is
-quite by itself, and is not to be compared to anything else. Straight
-before me, as I stood at the door, was Sarah’s screen, shutting out as
-much light as it could, and of course concealing her entirely; but
-beyond, full in the ruddy light on the other side of the screen, with
-the red fire reddening all over her velvet jacket, her glossy hair, and
-the white round arms out of those long wide sleeves, sat little Sara
-Cresswell, on a footstool opposite her godmamma, and talking to her. I
-cannot say Sara was in a pretty attitude. Young ladies now-a-days are
-sadly careless in their ways. She was stooping quite double, with one of
-her hands thrust into her hair, and the fire scorching her complexion
-all to nothing; and one of the long, uncovered windows, with the blind
-drawn up to the very top, you may be sure by Sara’s own wilful hands,
-was letting in the sky light over her, like a very tall spirit with
-pale blue eyes, so chilly, and clear, and pale, that it looked the
-oddest contrast possible to the firelight and the little velvet kitten
-then in front of it, all scorched and reddened over, as you could fancy;
-velvet takes on that surface tint wonderfully. I could see nothing of
-Sarah in the shelter of her screen; but there sat the little puss in
-velvet, straight before her, talking to her as nobody else ever ventured
-to talk. I have been long telling you how that fireside scene looked,
-just to get my breath. I had been trying to work myself up to the proper
-pitch to enter upon that subject again with my poor sister. But lo! here
-had little Sara come on her own account and got it all over. I could see
-at a glance that there was no more to be said.
-
-I came forward quietly and dropped into my own seat without saying
-anything. Dear, dear! had it been an insane, unreasonable terror, or had
-it been something real and serious that she knew, and she alone? Sarah
-was leaning a little towards the fire, rubbing the joints of her
-fingers, which were rheumatic, as I have mentioned before; but it was
-not what she was doing that struck me; it was the strange look of ease
-and comfort that had somehow come upon her. Her whole person looked as
-if it had relaxed out of some bondage. Her head drooped a little in a
-kind of easy languor: her muslin shawl, lined with pale blue, hung
-lightly off her shoulders. Her pins were laid down orderly and neat on
-her basket with the wools. Her very foot was at ease on the footstool.
-How was it? If it had been incipient madness, could this grateful look
-of rest have come so easily? Would the fever have gone down only at
-knowing he was away? Heavens know! I sat all silent in my own chair in
-the shadow, and felt the water moisten my old eyes. What she must have
-gone through before this sudden ease could show itself so clearly in
-every limb and movement! What an iron bondage she must have been putting
-on! What a relief this was! Her comfort and sudden relaxation struck me
-dumb. I was appalled at the sight of it. My notion about insanity,
-dreadful to think of, but still natural and innocent, was shaken; a
-restless uneasiness of a different description rose upon my mind. Could
-he indeed be anything to her, this young stranger? Could she in her own
-knowledge have some mysterious burden which was connected with his
-coming or going? Could she have _recognised_, instead of only finding an
-insanely fanciful destiny in his strange face? Impossible! That foreign
-life of hers, so obscure and mysterious to me, was of an older period
-than his existence. _He_ could bring no gossip, no recollections to
-confound her. At the time of her return he could scarcely have been
-born. Thus I was plunged into a perfect wilderness of amazed questions
-again.
-
-“When little Sara went off to dress,--she dressed every evening, though
-we never saw anybody,--I stole to the door after her, and caught her
-little pink ear outside the door in the half-lighted hall. She gave a
-little shriek when I came suddenly behind her. I believe she thought I
-was angry, and came to take her punishment into my own hand.
-
-“What did you say to your godmamma, Sara?” said I.
-
-“Nothing,” said the perverse child. Then, after a little pause, “I told
-her that your Mr. Luigi was gone, godmamma; and that he was a very
-pretty-behaved young man; and asked her who the Countess Sermoneta was.”
-
-“You did?”
-
-“Yes; but she did not mind,” said Sara. “I am not sure if she heard me;
-she gave such a long sigh, half a year long. Godmamma Sarah’s heart must
-be very deep down if it took _that_ to ease it; and melted all out, as
-if frost was over somehow, and thaw had come.”
-
-“Ah! and what more?” said I.
-
-“Nothing more,” cried the child. “Don’t you think I have a little heart,
-godmamma? If she felt it so, could I go poking at her with that
-Countess’s name? Ah! you should have seen her. She thawed out as if the
-sun was shining and the frost gone.”
-
-“Ah!” I cried again. It went to my heart as well. “Come down and talk,
-little Sara,” said I, and so went back to the drawing room, where she
-sat looking so eased and relieved, poor soul, poor soul! I was very
-miserable. I had not the heart to ring for lights. I sat down in my
-chair with all sorts of dismal thoughts in my heart. She did not speak
-either. She was rubbing her rheumatic fingers, and taking in all the
-warmth and comfort. She looked as if somehow she had escaped--good
-heavens! from what?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-Next day that change upon Sarah’s whole appearance continued, and
-throughout the whole week. She was like herself once more. Carson made
-no more stealthy expeditions out of doors before my sister set out on
-her drive. Sarah did not stir in her chair and eye me desperately when
-the door opened. She even seemed to fall deaf again with that old, soft,
-slight hardness of hearing which I used to suspect in her. There was no
-pressure on her heart to startle her ears.
-
-While I in the meantime tried my best to think nothing about it, tried
-to turn a blank face towards what might happen, and to take the days as
-they came. I have not come to be fifty without having troubles in
-plenty. For the last dozen years, to be sure, there had been only common
-embarrassments. The fewer people one has to love, the fewer pleasures
-and joys are possible, the less grow our sorrows. It is cold comfort,
-but it is a fact notwithstanding. Grief and delight go hand in hand in
-full lives; when we are stinted down into a corner both fall off. We
-suffer less, we enjoy less; we suffer nothing, we enjoy nothing in time,
-only common pricks and vexations, which send no thrill to the slumbering
-heart. So we had been living for years; happy enough, nothing to disturb
-us; or not happy at all, if you choose to take that view of the subject;
-true either way. Not such a thing as real emotion lighting upon our
-house, only secondary feelings; no love to speak of, but kindness; no
-joy, but occasional pleasure; no grief, but sometimes regret. A very
-composed life, which had been broken in upon quite suddenly by a
-bewildering shadow,--tragic fear, doubt, alarm,--sudden mystery no ways
-explainable, or madness explainable but hopeless. In this pause of
-dismay and doubt, while the dark, unknown, inexplicable figure had
-turned away from the door a little, it was hard to turn from its
-fascination and go quietly back to that quiet life.
-
-Little Sara Cresswell came much about me in the library in those days;
-she interested herself in my business much; she tried to interfere with
-my work and help me, as the kitten called it. All the outlays on the
-estate, the works that were going on, the improvements I loved to set
-a-going--which did not all come to anything,--and the failures, of which
-to be sure there were plenty--pleased the impatient creature mightily. I
-was considered rather speculative and fanciful among the Cheshire
-squires; they did not approve of my goings on; they thought me a public
-nuisance for preserving no game, and making a fuss about cottages. But I
-am sorry to say little Sara did not agree with the squires. She thought
-my small bits of improvements very slow affairs indeed; she grew
-indignant at my stinginess and contracted ideas. She thought any little
-I did were just preliminary attempts not worth mentioning. When was I to
-begin the work in earnest she wanted to know?
-
-“What work, Sara?”
-
-“What work? Why, here are you, godmamma, an old lady--you will never
-grow any wiser or any better than you are,” cried the intolerable child.
-“You can’t get any more good out of all that belongs to the Park than
-just your nice little dinners, and teas, and the carriage, and the
-servants, and, perhaps, half-a-dozen dresses in the year,--though I do
-believe three would be nearer true,--and to keep all these farms, and
-fields, and meadows, and orchards, and things, all for godmamma Sarah
-and you! Don’t you feel frightened sometimes when you wake up suddenly
-at night?”
-
-“You saucy little puss!--why?” cried I.
-
-“To think of the poor,” said Sara, with a solemn look. She held herself
-straight up, and looked quite dignified as she turned her reproving eyes
-on me. “Quantities of families without any homes, quantities of little
-children growing up worse than your pigs, godmamma, quantities of people
-starving, and living, and crowding, and quarrelling in black streets not
-as broad as this room, with courts off from them, like those horrid,
-frightful places in Liverpool. While out here you are living in your big
-rooms, in your big house, with the green park all round and round you,
-and farmers, and gardeners, and cottagers, and servants, and all sorts
-of people, working to make you comfortable; with more money than you
-know what to do with, and everything belonging to yourself, and nobody
-to interfere with you. And why have you any right to it more than
-_them_?”
-
-Little Sara’s figure swelled out, and her dark eyes shone bright as she
-was speaking. It took away my breath. “Are you a Chartist, child?” I
-cried.
-
-“I think I am a Socialist,” said Sara, very composedly; “but I don’t
-quite know. I think we should all go shares. I have told you so a dozen
-times, godmamma. Suppose papa has twelve hundred a year,--I do believe
-he has a great deal more,--isn’t it dreadful? and all, not out of the
-ground like yours, but from worrying people into lawsuits and getting
-them into trouble. Well, suppose it was all divided among a dozen
-families, a hundred a year. People can live very comfortably, I assure
-you, godmamma, upon a hundred a year.”
-
-“Who told you, child?” said I.
-
-“The curate has only eighty,” said Sara; “his wife dresses the baby and
-makes all its things herself, and they have very comfortable little
-dinners. The window in my old nursery--the end window you know--just
-overlooks their little parlour. They look so snug and comfortable when
-the baby is good. To be sure it must be a bore taking one’s dinner with
-the baby in one’s lap; and I am sure she is always in a fright about
-visitors coming. I think it would be quite delightful to give them one
-of papa’s hundreds a year.”
-
-“In addition to their eighty?” said I. “Why, then, there is an end of
-going shares.”
-
-Sara coughed and stammered for a moment over this, quite at fault; but
-not being troubled either about logic or consistency, soon plunged on
-again as bold as ever.
-
-“Whatever you say, godmamma, people can live quite comfortable on a
-hundred a year. I have reckoned it all up; and I don’t see really any
-reason why anybody should have more. Only fancy what a quantity of
-hundreds a year you and godmamma Sarah might distribute if you would.
-And, instead of that, you only build a few cottages and give a few
-people work--work! as if they had not as good a right as anybody to
-their living. People were not born only to work, and to be miserable,
-and to die.”
-
-“People were born to do a great many harder things than you think for,
-Sara,” said I. “Do you think I am going to argue with a little velvet
-kitten like you? I advise you to try your twelve families on the twelve
-hundreds a year. But what do you suppose you would do if your godmamma
-and I, having no heirs, left the Park to you, and you had your will, and
-might do what you pleased?”
-
-What put this into my head I cannot say; but I gave it utterance on the
-spur of the moment. Sara stared at me for a moment, with her pretty
-mouth falling a little open in astonishment. Then she jumped up and
-clapped her hands. “Do, godmamma!” she cried out, “oh do; such a
-glorious scatter I should make! everybody should have enough, and we’d
-build the loveliest little chapel in existence to St. Millicent, if
-there is such a saint. I have always thought it would be perfectly
-delightful to be a great heiress. Godmamma, do!”
-
-To see her all sparkling with delight and eagerness quite charmed me.
-Had she ever heard a hint of being left heiress to the Park, of course
-she must have looked wretched and conscious. Anybody would that had
-thought of such a great acquisition. Sara had not an idea of that. She
-thought it the best fun possible. She clapped her hands and cried, “Do,
-godmamma!” She was as bold as an innocent young lion, without either
-guile or fear.
-
-“It should be tied down so that you could not part with a single acre,
-nor give away above five pounds at a time,” said I.
-
-“Ah!” said Sara, thoughtfully; “I dare say there would be a way of
-cheating you somehow though, godmamma,” she said, waking up again with a
-touch of malice. “People are always cheated after they are dead. I knew
-a dear old lady that would not have her portrait taken for anybody but
-one friend whom she loved very much; but, what do you think? after she
-was gone they found the wicked wretch of a photographic man that kept
-the _thing_,--the negative they call it,--and printed scores of
-portraits, and let everybody have one. I would have given my little
-finger to have had one; but to go and cheat her, and baulk her after she
-was dead, and all for love, that is cruel. I would rather go against
-what you said right out, godmamma, than go against what I knew was in
-your heart.”
-
-“Ah, Sara, you don’t know anything about it,” said I. “If you had a
-great deal of money all to yourself, and could do anything you liked
-with it,--as heaven knows you may have soon enough!--and were just as
-foolish with it as you intend, how disgusted you would be with your
-charity, to be sure, after a while! What a little misanthrope you would
-grow! What mercenary, discontented wretches you would think all the
-people! I think I can see you fancying how much good you are doing, and
-yet doing only harm instead. Then that disagreeable old fellow,
-experience, would take you in hand. The living are cheated as well as
-the dead. We are all cheated, and cheat ourselves. Nothing would make me
-go and have my portrait taken; but I don’t deny if I found out that
-people had got it spontaneously, and handed it about among themselves
-all for love, I should not be angry. You are a little goose. You don’t
-know what manner of spirit you are of.”
-
-“It is very easy talking, godmamma,” said Sara. “I was watching
-yesterday when godmamma Sarah went out for her drive. The groom and the
-boy were hard at work ever so long with the carriage and horses before
-it was ready. I saw them out of the window of Alice’s room while she was
-mending my dress for me. Then came old Jacob to the door with the
-carriage. Then came godmamma Sarah leaning on Carson’s arm to go
-downstairs. So there were two great horses and four human
-creatures,--three men and a woman,--all employed for ever so long to
-give one old lady a half-hour’s drive, when a walk would have done her
-twenty times as much good,” concluded the child hastily, under her
-breath.
-
-“You speak in a very improper manner;--an old lady! You ought to have
-more respect for your godmamma,” said I, indignantly. “Your godmamma has
-nothing that is not perfectly suitable to her condition of life.”
-
-“But godmamma Sarah is an old lady, whether I am respectful or not,”
-said the girl stoutly. “When I see ladies driving about I wonder at
-them. Two great horses that could fight or plough; and two great men
-that might do the same; and all occupied about one lady’s drive! If I
-were queen I would do away with drives! Ah! shouldn’t I like to be
-Semiramis, the Semiramis of the story, that persuaded the king to let
-her be queen for a day, and turned everything upside down, and then----”
-
-“Cut off the king’s head. Would you do it, Sara, after he had trusted
-you?” said I.
-
-Sara came to a sudden pause. “I would not mind about cutting off his
-head; but, to be sure, being _trusted_ is different. As if it were not a
-story, not a word true! But please, godmamma,” cried the wild creature,
-making me a curtsey, “don’t leave me the Park. I don’t want to be
-trusted, please. I want to have my own way.”
-
-Which was the truest word she ever said.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-The days wore away thus in talks with little Sara, and vague expeditions
-out of doors, a misty sort of confused life. I felt as one feels when
-one knows of some dreadful storm, or trial, that has passed over for a
-little, only to come again by and by. After seeing Sarah show so much
-feeling of one kind and another,--distress, anxiety, and apprehension
-one day, and comfort and relief another,--I could not bind myself with
-the thought that this could possibly pass off and come to nothing. Such
-things don’t happen once and get done with. There was a secret reason
-somewhere working all the same, either in her own mind alone, or in the
-past and her history as well; and one time or other it must make its
-appearance again. Whether it was her mind giving way; and in that case
-it did not matter whether Mr. Luigi came back or not, for if he did not
-appear, fancy would, doubtless seize upon some other; or whether it was
-some person this young man resembled, or some part of her life which she
-was afraid to hear of again which he recalled to her, in any case it was
-sure to break out some other day; and I cannot tell what a strange
-uncomfortable excitement it brought into my life, and how the impulse of
-watching came upon me. Sarah’s smallest motions got a meaning in my
-eyes. I could not take things easily as I had used to do. She had
-always, of course, been very important in the house; but she had been a
-kind of still life for a long time now. She would not be consulted about
-leases or improvements, or anything done on the estate. So long as
-everything was very comfortable and nice about her,--the fire just to
-her liking, which Ellis managed to a nicety; the cooking satisfactory;
-her wools nicely matched, and plenty of new patterns; her screen just in
-the proper position, protecting her from the draught; and the Times
-always ready when she was ready for it,--Sarah got on, as it appeared,
-very comfortably. Despite all that, to be sure she would get angry
-sometimes; but I was used to it, and did not mind much. Only to think
-that a person, who had either in the past or in her own mind something
-to work her up to such a pitch of excitement, _could_ live such a life!
-She seemed to have quite resumed it now with a strange kind of
-unreasoning self-consolation. If it was the Italian that disturbed her,
-how could she persuade herself that he was not coming back again? Her
-quiet falling back into her old way was inexplicable to me.
-
-I seemed to myself to stand just then in a very strange position. Sarah
-on one side of me all shut up and self secluded, with a whole life all
-full of strange incidents, dazzling, brilliant, unforgotten years,
-actual things that had happened locked in her silent memory; and little
-Sara on tiptoe, on the other side, eager to plunge in her own way into
-the life she dreamt of, but knew nothing about. All the wild notions of
-the little girl, ridiculous-wise opinions, poor dear child, her
-principles of right and justice with which she would rule the world, and
-all her innocent break-downs and failures, ever in her fancy, came
-pouring down upon me, pelting me at all times. And on the other side was
-my sister, content to spend her life in that easy-chair, my sister whom
-I knew nothing about, whose memory could go out of the Park drawing-room
-into exciting scenes and wonderful events which I had never heard of.
-How strange it was! I don’t remember much that I did in those days. I
-lived under a confused, uneasy cloud, ready enough to be amused with
-Sara’s philosophy. I am not sure that I was not all the more disposed
-to smile at and tease the dear child, and be amused by all the new ideas
-she started, for the troubled sensation in my own mind. Nothing could
-have happened, I think, that would have surprised me. Sometimes it came
-into my head whether my father could have done, or tried to do,
-something when he was abroad, to cut us off from the succession; and
-once I jumped bolt upright out of my seat, thinking--what if my father
-had married abroad and had a son, and we were living usurpers, and Sarah
-knew of it! How that idea did set my heart beating! If I had not been so
-much frightened for her passions, I should have gone to her directly and
-questioned her. But to be sure my father was not the man to leave off
-his own will for any consideration about his daughters; and would have
-been only too proud to have had a son. After thinking, I gave up that
-idea; but my heart went at a gallop for hours after, and I should not
-have been surprised to hear that anything had happened, or was going to
-happen. Really, anything real and actual, however bad, would have been a
-relief from the mystery which preyed upon me.
-
-“Papa is coming to fetch me, to-morrow,” said Sara Cresswell, in rather
-a discontented tone. “There is to be some ridiculous ball, or something.
-Can anybody imagine anything so absurd as asking people to a ball when
-you want to show you’re sorry to part with them? and papa might have
-known, if he had ever taken the trouble to think, that I have no
-dress----”
-
-“Sara, child! how many hundreds a year do you give your dressmaker?”
-said I.
-
-“That has nothing whatever to do with it, godmamma,” said Sara, making a
-slightly confused pause; and then resuming, with a defiant look into my
-face,--“if I might give one hundred a year away out of all papa has got,
-I could live upon one dress in a year; but what is the use of shillings
-and sixpences to beggars, or of saving up a few pounds additional to
-papa? I don’t call that any economy. If we were living according to
-nature, it would be quite different; then I should want no ball-dresses.
-Besides,” continued the refractory creature, “I don’t want to go; and if
-papa insists on me going, why shouldn’t I get some pleasure out of it?
-Everything else will be just the same as usual, of course.--Godmamma,”
-exclaimed Sara suddenly, with a new thought, “will you ask papa anything
-about this business? it is not done with yet. He will come back, and all
-will have to be gone over again. Will you mention it to papa?”
-
-She had been thinking of it too,--she, thoughtless as she was, found
-something in it not of a kind to die away and be passed over. I could
-not mistake, nor pretend to mistake, what she meant; it was to be read
-in her very eyes.
-
-“My dear, I have told you already that your godmamma can have nothing
-whatever to do with this young man,” said I, with a little irritation;
-“if she is out of sorts it is nobody’s business. Do you fancy she could
-keep up an acquaintance with an Italian countess for more than twenty
-years, and I know nothing of it? Nonsense! Some fancy, or some old
-recollections, or something, had an effect upon her just at the moment.
-Speak to your father! Why, you told me he knew nothing about the
-Countess Sermoneta. Shall I ask him to feel your godmamma’s pulse and
-prescribe for her? or do you suppose, even if he were fit for that, your
-godmamma would allow it, without feeling herself ill? Your papa is
-highly respectable, and has always been much trusted by the family. But
-there are things with which one’s solicitor has nothing whatever to do;
-there are things which belong to one’s self, and to nobody else in the
-world.”
-
-Poor little Sara! I did not mean to mortify the child! She grew crimson
-with pride and annoyance. I had no intention of reminding her that she
-was only the attorney’s daughter; but she reminded herself of it on the
-instant, with all the pride of a duchess. She did not say a syllable,
-the little proud creature; but turned away with such an air, her cheek
-burning, her eyes flashing, her little foot spurning the ground. She
-went off with a great sweep of her full skirts, disturbing the air to
-such an extent that I quite felt the breeze on my cheek. Perhaps it was
-just as well. Of course there was a difference between the Mortimers and
-the Cresswells. Because we did not stand on our dignity, people were so
-ready to forget what they owed to us. It was just as well the spoiled
-child could learn, for once in her life, that it was all of grace and
-favour that she was made so much of at the Park.
-
-I made quite sure that she went to her own room directly, to see after
-the packing of her things, with some thoughts of starting for home at
-once, without even waiting for her father. However, when she began to
-talk to her little maid Alice, about that ball-dress, I daresay the
-other matter went out of the child’s head. The next that I saw of her
-was when she made a rush downstairs to ask me for postage stamps, with a
-letter in her hand, all closed ready to go off. She was still pouting
-and ill-tempered; but she contrived to show me the address of the
-letter. Alas, poor dear Bob Cresswell! it was to the Chester milliner,
-the best one we had, no doubt ordering a dress for the ball. Yet I do
-believe, for all that, the child could really have done what she said. I
-believe, if some great misfortune had happened, and her father had lost
-all his money, Sara’s first impulse would have been to clap her hands
-and cry, “Now everybody shall see!” Of course it is very dreadful to
-lose one’s fortune and become poor and have to work. But I wonder are
-there no other spoiled creatures in the world like Sara, who have their
-own ideas about such calamities, and think they would be the most famous
-fun in the world? Too much of anything makes a revulsion in the mind.
-Such over-indulged, capricious, spoiled children have often hardy bold
-spirits, and would be thankful for some real, not sham necessity. But,
-in the meantime, she had not the slightest idea of doing without her
-ball-dress.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-Mr. Cresswell came next day accordingly. I confess the very sight of him
-was a sort of solace to me in my perplexities; that solid steady man,
-with his sharp keen eyes and looks, as if he knew everything going on
-round about him. To be sure, being a lawyer, he must have pretended to
-know a great many more things than he could have any insight into.
-Still, when one is in great doubt, and cannot tell where to turn, the
-sight of one of these precise men, with a vast knowledge about other
-people, and no affairs of their own of any consequence, is a kind of
-relief to one. Such men can throw light on quantities of things quite
-out of their way. I could not help saying to myself, though I had
-snubbed Sara for saying it, that he might, perhaps, have helped to clear
-up this mystery. But, of course, he was always a last resort if anything
-more happened. They were to have dinner before they went away, and Mr.
-Cresswell reached the Park by noon; so there was plenty of time to tell
-him anything. He came into the drawing-room rubbing his hands. Sarah had
-just come down-stairs and taken her seat. She was looking just as she
-always did, no tremble in her head to speak of, her attention quite
-taken up with her wools, attending to what was said, but with no anxiety
-about it. When Mr. Cresswell came in her face changed a little; she
-looked as if all at once she had thought of something, and gave me a
-sign, which I knew meant he was to come to her. I brought him directly,
-not without a great deal of curiosity. It was a warm day for the season;
-and just immediately before the fire, where the good man had to sit to
-listen, was not just the most comfortable position in the world. He even
-contrived to make a kind of appeal to me. Couldn’t I hear what it was,
-and tell him afterwards? I took no notice; I confess it was rather
-agreeable to me than otherwise,--to set him down there to get roasted
-before the fire.
-
-“I want to know what you have done about Richard Mortimer,” said Sarah
-in her shrill whisper; “there has been no advertisement in the Times nor
-the Chester papers. I hope you are not losing time; what have you
-done?”
-
-It struck me that Mr. Cresswell looked just a little abashed and put out
-by this question; but it might be the fire. He put up his hand to
-shelter his face, and hitched round his chair; then shrugged his
-shoulders a little, insinuating that she was making far too much of it.
-“My dear lady, advertisements are the last resort. I hope to do without
-any such troublesome process,” said Mr. Cresswell. “All the Mortimers in
-England will rouse up at the sight of an advertisement. I should prefer
-to take a little time. Information is always to be obtained privately
-when one has any clue at all.”
-
-“Then have you obtained any private information?” said Sarah, in rather
-a sharp tone. She had no inclination to let him slide away till she was
-quite satisfied.
-
-“Such things take their time,” said Mr. Cresswell, devoting all his
-attention to screening himself from the fire. “How you ladies can bear
-cooking yourselves up so, on this mild day, I cannot understand! I can
-hear you perfectly, Miss Mortimer, thank you; your voice is as distinct
-as it always was, though, unfortunately not the same tone. What a voice
-your sister used to have, to be sure!--went through people’s hearts like
-a bell.”
-
-This was addressed to me, in the idea of being able to wriggle out of
-the conversation altogether. It is my conviction he had not taken a
-single step in the matter of Richard Mortimer; but if he thought he
-could shake off Sarah’s inquiries so, he deceived himself. She never
-was, all her life, to be turned from her own way.
-
-“It is sometime now since we instructed you on this subject,” said
-Sarah. “If you have not made any discovery, at least you can tell us
-what you are doing. Milly, there, like a fool, does not care. She talks
-of Providence dropping us an heir at our door,--a foundling, I suppose,
-with its name on a paper pinned to its frock,” said Sarah, growing
-rather excited, and turning an angry look on me.
-
-To my astonishment Mr. Cresswell also looked at me; his was a guilty,
-conscious, inquiring look. What strange creatures we all are! This
-shrewd lawyer, far from thinking that Sarah’s words referred to any
-mysterious trouble or derangement in her own mind, took them up, knowing
-his own thoughts, with all the quickness of guilt, to refer to Sara! He
-thought we had probably had a quarrel about leaving her our heiress;
-that I had stood up for her, and Sarah had opposed it. So he turned his
-eyes to me to see if I would make any private telegraphic communication
-to him of the state of affairs. And when he found nothing but surprise
-in my eyes, turned back a little disappointed, but quite cool and ready
-to stand to his arms, though he had failed of this mark.
-
-“The truth is, there is nothing so easy as finding an heir. I’ll ensure
-you to hunt him up from the backwoods, or China, or anywhere in the
-world. There’s a fate connected with heirs,” said Mr. Cresswell,
-pleasantly, “whether one wants them or not they turn up with all their
-certificates in their pocket-books! Ah! they’re a long-lived,
-sharp-sighted race; they’re sure to hear somehow when they’re wanted.
-Don’t be afraid--we’ll find him, sure enough. If you had made up your
-minds to disown him, and shut him out, he’d turn up all the same.”
-
-“Milly,” cried Sarah suddenly, with her little shriek of passion, all so
-unexpected and uncalled for that I fairly jumped from the table I was
-standing at, and had nearly overturned her screen on the top of her,
-“what do you mean by that fixed look at me? How dare you look so at me?
-Did I speak of disowning any one? Richard Mortimer, when he’s found,
-shall have the park that moment, if I lived a dozen years after it.
-Nobody shall venture, so long as I live, to cast suspicious looks at
-me!”
-
-I declare, freely, I was unconscious of looking at her as though I had
-been a hundred miles away at the moment! I stood perfectly still, gaping
-with consternation and amazement. Such an unwarranted, unexpected
-accusation, fairly took away my breath. Mr. Cresswell, accustomed to
-observe people, was startled, and woke up from those dreams of his own
-which clouded his eyesight in this particular case. He looked at her
-keenly for a moment, then, turned with a rapid question in his eyes to
-me; he seemed to feel in a moment there was somehow some strange new
-element in the matter. But, of course, I had no answer to make to him,
-either with voice or eyes.
-
-“I was not looking at you at all, Sarah,” faltered I. “I was not looking
-at anything in particular. Nobody is going to be disowned, that I know
-of. Nobody is seeking our property, that I know of,” I said again
-involuntarily, my eye turning with a kind of stupid consciousness, the
-very last feeling in the world which I wished or intended to show, upon
-Mr. Cresswell, who was quite watching my looks to see what this little
-episode meant.
-
-He coloured up in a moment. He stumbled up from his chair, looking very
-much confused. He dared not pretend to know what I meant, nor show
-himself conscious, even that I had looked at him. He went across the
-room to the window, looked out, and came back again. It was odd to see
-such a man, accustomed and trained to conceal his sentiments, so
-betrayed into showing them. When he sat down again he turned his face to
-the fire, and almost his back to me. Matters had changed. It appeared I
-was not such a safe confidante as he had supposed.
-
-“You shall very soon be satisfied about Mr. Richard Mortimer,” he said,
-looking into the fire. “Don’t be afraid; I am on the scent; you may
-trust it to me. But, really, I don’t wonder to see Miss Milly take it
-very reasonably. What do you want with heirs yet? If I had any thoughts
-of that kind, I should put all my powers in motion to get that little
-kitten of mine married. If I leave her by herself she will throw away my
-poor dear beautiful dividends in handfuls. But, somehow, the idea
-doesn’t oppress me; and, of course, I am older than any lady in
-existence can be supposed to be. I am----”
-
-“Hold your tongue, Cresswell,” cried Sarah crossly. “I daresay we know
-what each other’s ages are. Attend to business, please. I want Richard
-Mortimer found, I tell you. You can tell him his cousin Sarah wants him.
-He will come, however far off he may be, when he hears that. You can put
-it in the papers, if you please.”
-
-Saying this Sarah gave her muslin scarf a little twitch over her elbow,
-and held up her head with a strange little vain self-satisfied movement.
-Oh, how Mr. Cresswell did look at her! how he chuckled in his secret
-soul! From what I had seen once before I understood perfectly well what
-he meant. He had once taken the liberty to fall in love with Sarah
-Mortimer himself; and now to see the old faded beauty putting on one of
-her old airs, and reckoning on the fidelity of a man who, no doubt--it
-was to be hoped, or what was to become of our search for heirs?--had
-married and forgotten all about her years ago--tickled him beyond
-measure. He felt himself quite revenged when he saw her
-self-complacence. He ventured to chuckle at it secretly. I should have
-liked, above all things, to box his ears.
-
-“Ah! to be sure; I’ll use all possible means immediately. It’s to be
-hoped he has ten children,” said Mr. Cresswell, with a very quiet
-private laugh. Sarah did not observe that he was laughing at her. I
-believe such an idea could never have entered her head. She began, with
-an habitual motion she had got whenever she left off knitting, to rub
-her fingers and stoop to the fire.
-
-“And I insist you should come and report to us what you are doing,” said
-Sarah; “and never mind Milly; see me. It is I who am interested. Milly,
-as I tell you, thinks Providence will drop her an heir at the door.”
-
-What could she mean by these spiteful sneering suggestions? I had
-thought no more of heirs for many a day--never since I got involved in
-this bewildering business, which I could see no way through. Her sudden
-attack sent a little thrill of terror through me. _I_ was casting
-suspicious looks at her; an heir was to be dropped at our door; somebody
-was plotting against her fortune and honour. Good heavens! what could it
-mean but one thing? Mad people are always watched, pursued, persecuted,
-thwarted. I was cast from one guess to another, as if from wave to wave
-of a sea. I came back to that idea again; and trembled in spite of
-myself to think of little Sara and her father leaving us, and of being
-left alone to watch the insane haze spreading over her mind. It was sure
-to spread if it was there.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-I will not undertake to say that we were a particularly sociable party
-at dinner that day. The stranger, Mr. Cresswell, who might have been
-supposed likely to give us a little news, and refresh us with the air of
-out of doors, was constrained and uncomfortable with the idea of having
-been found out. I am sure it was the last idea in the world which I
-wanted to impress upon him. But still, in spite of myself, I had
-betrayed it. Then Sara, without the faintest idea of her father’s
-uneasiness, had a strong remembrance of my unlucky words on the
-previous day, and was very high and stately, by way of proving to me
-that an attorney’s daughter could be quite as proud as a Mortimer--as if
-I ever doubted it!--and a great deal prouder. For really, when one knows
-exactly what one’s position is, and that nobody can change it, one does
-not stand upon one’s defence for every unwary word. However, so it was
-that we were all a little constrained, and I felt as one generally feels
-after a pretty long visit, even from a dear friend, that to be alone and
-have the house to one’s self will just at first be a luxury in its way.
-
-Not having any free and comfortable subject to talk of, we naturally
-fell to books, though Mr. Cresswell, I believe, never opened one. He
-wanted to know if Sara had been reading novels all day long, and
-immediately Sara turned to me to ask whether she might have one home
-with her which she had begun to read. Then there burst on my mind an
-innocent way of putting a question to Mr. Cresswell which I had been
-very anxious to ask without seeing any way to do it.
-
-“I don’t think you will care for it when you do read it Sara; it is all
-about a poor boy who gets persuaded not to marry, and breaks the poor
-creature’s heart who is engaged to him, because there has been madness
-in the family. High principle, you know. I am not quite so sure in my
-own mind that I don’t think him a humbug; but I suppose it’s all very
-grand and splendid to you young people. Young persons should be trained
-very closely in their own family history if that is to be the way of it.
-I hope there never was a Cresswell touched in his brain, or, Sara, it
-would be a bad prospect for you.”
-
-“If you suppose I should think it a bad prospect to do as Gilbert did,
-you are very wrong, godmamma,” cried Sara. “Why shouldn’t he have been
-quite as happy one way as the other? Do you suppose people must be
-_married_ to be happy? it is dreadful to hear such a thing from you!”
-
-“Well, to be sure, so it would be,” said I, “if I had said it. I am not
-unhappy that I know of, nor happy either. Oh, you little velvet kitten,
-how do you know how people get through life? One goes jog-jog, and does
-not stop to find out how one feels. But I’d rather--though I daresay
-it’s very bad philosophy--have creatures like you do things innocently,
-without being too particular about the results. Besides, I think
-Cheshire air is good steady air for the mind,--not exciting, you know. I
-don’t think we’ve many mad people in our county, eh, Mr. Cresswell?--Did
-you ever hear of a crazy Mortimer?”
-
-Mr. Cresswell looked up at me a little curiously--which, to be sure,
-not having any command over my face, or habit of concealing what I
-thought, made me look foolish. Sarah lifted her eyes, too, with a kind
-of smile which alarmed me--a smile of ridicule and superior knowledge.
-Perhaps I had exposed my fears to both of them by that question. I
-shrank away from it immediately, frightened at my own rashness. But Mr.
-Cresswell would not let me off.
-
-“I have always heard that your grand-uncle Lewis was very peculiar,”
-said Mr. Cresswell,--“he that your cousin is descended from. Let us hope
-it doesn’t run in Mr. Richard’s family. I suppose there’s no reason to
-imagine that such a motive would prevent _him_ from marrying?” he
-continued, rather spitefully. “And it was no wonder if Lewis Mortimer
-was a little queer. What could you expect? he was the _second son_! an
-unprecedented accident. The wonder is that something did not happen in
-consequence. Oh yes, he was _soft_ a little, was your grand-uncle Lewis;
-but most likely it descended to him from his mother’s side of the
-house.”
-
-“And my father was named after him!” cried I, with a certain dismay.
-
-They all laughed, even Sarah. _She_ kept her eyes on me as if searching
-through me to find out what I meant. She was puzzled a little, I could
-see. She saw it was not a mere idle question, and wanted to know the
-meaning. She was not conscious, thank heaven! and people are dismally
-conscious, as I have heard, when their brain is going. This was a little
-comfort to me under the unexpected answer I had got, for I certainly
-never heard of a crazy Mortimer all my life.
-
-“If qualities descended by names, my little kitten would be in luck,”
-said Mr. Cresswell. “But here is a new lot of officers coming, Miss
-Milly; what would you recommend a poor man to do?”
-
-“Papa!” cried Sara, with blazing indignation, “what does any one suppose
-the officers are to me? You say so to make my own godmamma despise me,
-though you know it isn’t true! I can bear anything that is true. That is
-why we always quarrel, papa and I. He does not mind what stories he
-tells, and thinks it good fun. I am not a flirt, nor never was--never,
-even when I was too young to know any better. No, godmamma, no more than
-you are!--nobody dares say it of me.”
-
-We were just rising from table when she made this defence of herself. It
-was not quite true. I know she tormented that poor boy Wilde as if he
-had been a mouse, the cruel creature; and I am perfectly convinced that
-she was much disappointed Mr. Luigi did not come to the Park, because
-she had precisely the same intentions with regard to him. I must allow,
-though I was very fond of Sara, that, professing to be mighty scornful
-and sceptical as to hearts breaking, she loved to try when she had it in
-her power. I daresay she was not conscious of her wicked arts, she used
-them by instinct; but it came to much the same thing in the end.
-
-I went out of the room with her, under pretence of seeing that her boxes
-were nicely packed; I did not say anything about it, whether I thought
-her a flirt or not, and she quieted down immediately, with a perception
-that I had something to say. I drew her into the great window of the
-hall, when Sarah, and immediately after her Mr. Cresswell,--for, of
-course, to him our early dinner only served as lunch, and no man would
-dream of sitting over his wine at three o’clock in the afternoon,
-especially in a lady’s house,--had passed into the drawing-room. It was
-a great round bay-window, at one end of the hall, where our footmen used
-to lounge in my father’s time, when we kept footmen. It had our
-escutcheon in it, in painted glass, and the lower panes were obscured, I
-cannot tell why, unless because it made them look ugly. The hall was
-covered with matting, and the fire had been lighted that day, but must
-have gone out, it felt so cold.
-
-“Sara, I wish to say to you--not that I don’t trust your discretion, my
-dear child;” said I, “but you might not think I cared--don’t say
-anything about your godmamma, or about this Mr. Luiggi, dear----”
-
-I was quite prepared to see her resent this caution, but I was not
-prepared for the burst of saucy laughter with which the foolish little
-girl replied to me.
-
-“Oh dear, godmamma, don’t be so comical! it isn’t Luiggi, it’s Luidgi,
-that’s how it sounds,” cried Sara. “To think of any one murdering the
-beautiful Italian so! Don’t you really think it’s a beautiful name?”
-
-“I freely confess I never could see any beauty in Italian, nor any other
-outlandish tongue,” said I. “Luidgi, be it, if that’s better. I can’t
-see how it makes one morsel of difference; but you will remember what I
-say?”
-
-“Luigi simply means Lewis; and how should you be pleased to hear Lewis
-mispronounced? You said it was your father’s name, godmamma,” said the
-incorrigible child.
-
-I turned away, shaking my head. It was no use saying anything more; most
-likely she would pay attention to what I said, though she was so
-aggravating; oh, but she was contrairy. Never man spoke a truer word.
-Nevertheless, as she stood there in her velvet jacket, with her
-close-cropped pretty curls, and her eyes sparkling with laughter, I
-could not help admiring her myself. I don’t mind saying I am very
-inconsistent. A little while before, I had been thinking it would be
-rather pleasant to have the house quiet and to ourselves. Now, I could
-not help thinking what a gap it would leave when she was gone. Then the
-child, who at home was led into every kind of amusement (to be sure
-_procurable in Cheshire_, must be added to this), had been so contented,
-after all, to live with two old women, whom nobody came to see, except
-now and then in a morning call; and though she was so wicked, and
-provoking, and careless, she was at the same time so good and clever
-(when she pleased) and captivating. One could have put her in the
-corner, and kissed her the next moment. As she stood there in the light
-of the great window, I, who had left her, shaking my head, and
-reflecting how contrairy she was, went back to kiss her, though I gave
-her a little shake as well. That is how one always feels to these
-creatures, half-and-half; ready to punish them and to pet them all at
-once.
-
-However, after a while (though it was no easy matter getting Sara’s
-trunks on the carriage--I wonder Mr. Cresswell ventured on it, for his
-poor horse’s sake), they went away; and feeling just a little dull after
-they were gone, and as it was just that good-for-nothing time, which is
-the worst of an early dinner, the interval between dinner and tea, I set
-out for a walk down to the village. It was Sarah’s day for her drive,
-and she passed me on the road, and kissed her hand to me out of the
-carriage window. No blinds down now; the horses going at their steady
-pace, rather slowly than otherwise, wheeling along through the soft
-hedgerows which began to have some buds on them. I wonder what Jacob
-thought of it; I wonder what Williams at the lodge had to say on the
-subject. Such a strange unreasonable change!
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII.
-
-
-I called at a good many houses in the village. I am thankful to say I
-have rarely found myself unwelcome, to the best sort of people at least.
-Most of us have known each other so long, and have such a long stretch
-of memory to go back upon together, that we belong to each other in a
-way. As for the scapegraces, they are a little frightened of me, I
-confess. They say, Miss Milly comes a-worriting, when I speak my mind to
-them. I can’t say the men reverence me, nor the women bless my
-influence, as I read they do with some ladies in some of Miss Kate
-Roberts’ books. But we are good friends on the whole. When the men have
-been drinking, and spent all their wages, or saucy, and put out of their
-place, then they try their best to deceive me, to be sure; but I know
-all their little contrivances pretty well by this time. They don’t mean
-much harm after all, only to persuade one that things are not so bad as
-they look.
-
-After I had given a glance into the shop where I saw Mr. Luigi’s fat
-servant,--I only saw him once, but yet the place seemed full of that
-fat, funny, good-humoured, outlandish figure, with his bows and smiles,
-and loquacious foreign speech, that poor Mrs. Taylor commiserated so
-deeply--I stepped across to the rectory to make a call there. The poor
-young shopkeeper, who had a night-class for the men and grown lads, and
-was really an intelligent, well-meaning young man, had been confiding
-his troubles to me. They did not care a bit about learning; they did not
-even want to read. When they did read it was the most foolish books!
-Poor young Taylor’s heart was breaking over their stupidity. And then,
-to keep a shop, even a bookshop, hurt his “feelings,” poor lad. He had
-been brought up for a teacher’s profession, he said--he even had some
-experience in “tuition.” He had thought he could make a home for his
-mother and his little sister; and now Dr. Appleby was grumbling that he
-did not succeed, and thought it his own fault! Poor young fellow! to be
-sure, he should have gone stolidly through with it, and had no business
-to have any “feelings.” But, you see, people will be foolish in every
-condition of life.
-
-So I stepped across the road to call on Miss Kate, thinking of him all
-the way; thinking of him and that unknown young Italian, only once seen,
-whom the apparition of the fat servant in Taylor’s shop somehow
-connected with the young shopkeeper. How Mr. Luigi had forced himself
-into all my thoughts! and yet the only one fact I knew about him was,
-that he was looking for an apocryphal lady whom nobody ever heard of!
-Should I have thought no more about him but for Sarah’s mysterious
-agitation? I really cannot tell. Again and again his voice came back to
-me, independent of Sarah. Whose voice was it? Where had he got that
-hereditary tone?
-
-Miss Kate was in, for a great wonder. She was wonderfully active in the
-parish. She was far more the rector, except in the pulpit, than good Dr.
-Roberts was. I am sure he was very fortunate to have such an active
-sister. I don’t think anything ever happened, within a space of three or
-four miles round the village, that Miss Kate was not at the bottom of
-it. Of course I expected to hear everything over again that Dr. Roberts
-had told us about Mr. Luigi. But, so long as Sarah was not present, I
-could take that quite easily. Indeed, I wished so much to know more of
-this stranger, somehow, that I really felt I should be glad to hear all
-that they had to say.
-
-“I was indeed very much interested in the young man,” said Miss Kate,
-starting the subject almost immediately, as I expected. “I think great
-efforts should be made to lay hold of every one that comes out of his
-poor benighted country. I said so to the Doctor; but the Doctor’s views,
-you know, are _very_ charitable. Mr. Hubert, however, quite agreed with
-me. I asked him to come back when he came to this part of the country
-again, and said I should be very glad to have some _serious_
-conversation with him. He stared, but he was very polite; only, poor
-young man, his thoughts are all upon this lady. I have no doubt he
-thought it was that business I wanted to talk to him about.”
-
-“But I suppose, like Dr. Roberts, you can throw no light upon her; who
-she is, or where she is?” said I. “It is strange he should seem so
-positive she was here, and yet nobody remembers her. For my own part, if
-I had once heard it, I am sure I should never have forgotten that name.
-I have a wonderful memory for names.”
-
-“Very strange no doubt,” said Miss Kate, with a little cough. “And then,
-that man of his. Alas, what an imprisoned soul! To think he should be
-in the very midst of light and faithful preaching, and yet not be able
-to derive any benefit from it! I never regretted more deeply not having
-kept up my own Italian studies. And poor Mr. Hubert--but you would hear
-all about that; the Doctor does so delight in an amusing story. They
-could not understand each other in the very least, you know. Ah, what a
-matter it would be to get hold of that poor Domenico--that’s his name.
-Why, he might be quite an apostle among his countrymen, when he got
-back. But nothing can be done till he can be taught English, or some
-agency can be found out in Italian. I can’t tell you how much interest I
-feel in these poor darkened creatures. And to think they should be in
-the midst of the light, and no possibility of bringing them under its
-influence! I don’t speak of the master, of course, who knows English
-very well; but I am not one that am a respecter of persons,--the servant
-is quite as much, if not more, interesting to me.”
-
-“If they stay long I daresay he’ll learn English,” I suggested modestly;
-“but it will be a sad pity if the poor gentleman has come so far to seek
-out this lady, and can’t find any trace of her. I promised him to do all
-I could to find out for him; but nobody seems ever to have heard of her.
-It will be a thousand pities if he has all his trouble for no end.”
-
-“Ah, Miss Milly! let us hope he may acquire something else that will far
-more than repay him,” said Miss Kate; “disappointments are often great
-blessings in directing one’s mind away from worldly things. We were all
-very much interested in him, I assure you. Mr. Hubert promised to write
-to a friend of his in Chester to ask if he could give him any
-assistance. If it were only for the sake of that strange
-resemblance,--the Doctor would tell you, of course, the resemblance
-which struck both him and myself?”
-
-“No,” cried I; “did you find out anybody he was like? I only saw him in
-the dark, and could not make out his face; but his voice has haunted me
-ever since. I was sure I knew the voice.”
-
-“I wonder the Doctor did not mention it,” said Miss Kate, with a little
-importance. “The truth is, it struck us both a good deal; a resemblance
-to your family, Miss Milly.”
-
-I don’t know whether I was most disposed to sink down upon my chair or
-start up from it with a cry; I did neither, however.
-
-“To _my_ family?” I gasped out.
-
-“Yes; it was very singular,” said Miss Kate; “I daresay, of course, it
-was only one of those accidental likenesses. I remember being once
-thought very like your sister. How strange you should think you knew his
-voice! You have some relations in Italy, perhaps?”
-
-“Not that I know of,” said I, feeling very faint. I cannot tell what I
-was afraid of; but I felt myself trembling and shaken; and I durst not
-get up and go out either, or Miss Kate would have had it all over the
-parish before night, that something had gone wrong at the Park.
-
-But I don’t remember another word she said. I kept my seat, and answered
-her till I thought I might reasonably be supposed to have stayed long
-enough. Then I left the rectory, my mind in the strangest agitation.
-That this stranger, who had driven Sarah half mad, should be like our
-family; what a bewildering, extraordinary thing to think of! But
-stranger still, at this moment, when I had just heard such a wonderful
-aggravation of my perplexity--that voice of his which had haunted me so
-long, and which I felt sure I could identify at once, if the person it
-once belonged to was named to me, vanished entirely from my mind as if
-by some conjuring trick. It was extraordinary--it looked almost
-supernatural. I could no more recall that tone, which I had recalled
-with perfect freshness and ease when I entered the rectory garden, than
-I could clear up the extraordinary puzzle thus gathering closer and
-closer round all my thoughts.
-
-In this state of mind I hurried home, feeling really as if there must be
-something supernatural in the whole business, and too much startled to
-ask any definite questions of myself. When I had reached the house, and
-was going upstairs, I met one of the maids coming down, who had been
-upon some errand into Sarah’s room. This careless girl had left--a thing
-never even seen when my sister happened to be out for her drives--the
-room-door open. Before I knew what I was doing, I had stepped inside. I
-can’t tell what I wanted--whether to speak with Sarah or to spy upon
-her, or to listen at her door. Carson and she were in the dressing-room,
-I could hear. And now I will tell you what I did. I don’t think I was
-responsible for my actions at that moment; but whether or not, this is
-what I did. I stepped forward stealthily, stooped down to the keyhole,
-and listened at the door!
-
-There! I have said it out. Nobody else knows it to this day. I, who
-called myself an honourable person, listened at my sister’s door. For
-the first five minutes I was so agitated by my strange position that,
-of course, I did not hear a word they said. But after a little I began
-to hear indistinctly that they were talking of some letter that had
-better be burned--that Carson was speaking in a kind of pleading tone,
-and Sarah very harsh and hard, her words easier to be distinguished in
-that hissing whisper of hers than if she had spoken in the clearest
-voice imaginable. I can’t say I was much the better for the
-conversation, till at last, just as I was going away, came this, which
-made my heart beat so loud that I thought it must be heard inside that
-closed mysterious door:
-
-“And to think they should have called him Lewis, too; though the English
-is a deal the prettiest. Ah, ma’am,” cried Carson, with a little stifled
-sob, “it showed love in the heart!”
-
-“Yes, for the Park,” said Sarah, in her whisper. I dared not stay a
-moment longer, for I heard them both advancing to the door. I fled to my
-own room, and dropped down there on my sofa stupified. My head ached as
-if it would burst. My heart thumped and beat as if it would leap out of
-my bosom Lewis! my father’s name--and, good heaven!--the voice! What did
-it--what could it mean?
-
-
-
-
-PART IV.
-
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE.
-
-(_Continued._)
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-What a strange little quaint place Chester is! I thought I should never
-have been tired walking along those ramparts, looking over the soft
-green slopes, and up to the blue hills in the distance, and down here
-and there upon the grey old churches and the quiet busy little town; but
-at first we had our lodgings to look for, which was a much more serious
-matter. I had made up my mind from the very first not to expect to be
-called upon, nor to go into society; or rather I had set my face against
-any chance of it, knowing always that we could not do it on the little
-money we had. But now I found out that Harry was not content with this.
-He was very anxious to have better lodgings, where ladies could come to
-see me. I should say dearer lodgings, for better than Mrs. Saltoun’s we
-could not have had. He wanted me to have quite a drawing-room instead of
-our nice, cosy, old-fashioned parlour, which was good for everything;
-and then to think people might be asking us to dinner, and how many
-embarrassments and troubles we might meet with! For it is embarrassing
-to be asked out, and to be obliged to let the people suppose you are
-sulky, and ill-tempered, and _won’t_ go; or else to invent excuses
-which, besides being sinful, are always sure to be found out; when the
-real reason is simply that one has not a dress, and cannot afford to
-get one just then. The other ladies in the regiment might wonder what
-sort of person I could be, and tell each other that poor young Langham
-had married some poor girl, and been very foolish. It was exactly
-true--so he had; and as I can’t say I had any idea that he could be
-ashamed of me, I took it all very quietly. So long as we were happy, and
-could afford to live in our own way, I did not mind; but now Harry had
-got discontented, somehow or other. He was quite in a fuss to think that
-I was not received as I ought to be, and a great many more things like
-that--perhaps somebody had said something to him, as if he were supposed
-to be ashamed of me--at all events he had changed his mind from our
-first plan; and though I felt quite convinced my way was the wisest, I
-had to change it as before. Anything was better than having him
-uncomfortable and discontented. I supported myself with Mrs. Saltoun’s
-opinion, and went with resignation to look at all those expensive
-lodgings.
-
-The people seemed all to guess that we belonged to the new regiment; and
-some of them were quite great ladies, and quite enlightened me as to
-what we should require. For most of the day I was in a perfect panic;
-every place seeming dearer than another. When we went into those
-expensive rooms I always found out something that it was quite
-impossible for me to tolerate (quite independent, of course, you know,
-of any question of price!) till Harry quite fretted at my
-fastidiousness. At last we did find a place _that suited me_. It was no
-great thing in point of situation. It was a first floor, a front and
-back drawing-room. I believe, candidly, that the back room was about as
-big as Mrs. Saltoun’s good substantial old dining-table, which we used
-to have in our sitting-room in Edinburgh; but then there were
-folding-doors; and the front drawing-room was decorated and ornamented
-to such a pitch that one was quite afraid to sit down in any of the
-chairs. When I heard what the rent was, I was charmed with the rooms.
-Harry could not understand my enthusiasm. I found it the handiest place
-in the world;--and then it showed such discrimination in the landlady to
-ask so moderate a rent. We fetched Lizzie and baby from the inn
-directly, and dismissed Harry to look at the town. And really, when we
-got a little settled, it was not so uncomfortable; though, to be sure,
-to give up the sizeable room for company (and they never came!), and to
-live in that little box behind was very foolish, as I always thought.
-However, when, I above and Lizzy below, we had investigated the house,
-and when the landlady was made to comprehend, with difficulty, that our
-washing was done at home, and that her toleration of these processes was
-needful, and when her wonder and the first shock to her system conveyed
-in this piece of intelligence was over, things looked tolerably
-promising. The worst was, we had no view; no view whatever except the
-bit of garden plot before the house, filled with dusty evergreens, and
-the corner of a street which led to the railway station. The cabs and
-people, going to and from the trains, made the only variety in the
-prospect; and anybody will allow that was sadly different from windows
-which looked sidelong over the corner of Bruntsfield Links, upon the
-Castle, and the Crags, and Arthur’s Seat. However, what I had to think
-of, in the meantime, was how to live without getting into debt; for, of
-course, people like us, with just so much money coming in (and oh, how
-very, very little it was!), had neither any excuse nor any way of saving
-themselves if once they ventured into debt.
-
-Thus we got established in our new quarters; and many a long ramble I
-took with Harry along those strange superannuated walls.--To think how
-they once stood up desperate, in defence, round the brave little town!
-to think of the wild Welsh raging outside on that tranquil turf, where
-the races were now-a-days; to think of those secure streets down there,
-that lengthened themselves out presumptuously beyond the ramparts, and
-even cut passages through them, once cowering in alarm below their
-shadow! The place quite captivated me; and then the streets themselves,
-the strange dark covered pathways, steps up from the street, with the
-shops lurking in their shadow! like some of the German towns, Harry told
-me. Looking into them from the street, and seeing the stream of
-passengers coming and going, through the openings and heavy wooden beams
-of the railing; or looking out of one of those openings upon a kind of
-street-scenes and life that had nothing in the world to do with the
-strange old-world arcade, from which one looked out as from a balcony,
-was as good as reading a book about ancient times. It was not like my
-dear Edinburgh, to be sure, but it was very captivating; and Harry and I
-enjoyed exploring together. It was all new and fresh to us--and it was
-spring; and when you have nothing to trouble you much, it is delightful
-to see new places, and get new pictures into the mind. Chester was quite
-as novel, and fresh, and captivating, though it was only in our own
-country, as that German Munich which Harry told me of--Harry had been a
-great traveller before he joined, while his father was so long
-ill--could have been.
-
-Lizzie, however, was not nearly so much at her ease as I was. When she
-felt herself laughed at, and looked at, and misunderstood, Lizzie fell
-back into her chronic state of awkwardness. Her national pride was
-driven to enthusiasm by her contact with “thae English.” Lizzie
-entertained a steady disbelief that the tongue in which she heard
-everybody speak--which was far enough from being a refined one,
-however,--was their native and natural speech. “They were a’ speaking
-grand for a purpose o’ their ain, to make folk believe they were lords
-and leddies,” Lizzie said; and with a still higher pitch of indignation,
-“Mem, _you_ aye understood me, though you’re an English leddy; and think
-o’ the like o’ them setting up no’ to understand what _your_ lass means
-when she’s speaking! I dinna understand _them_, I’m sure,--no half a
-dozen words. To hear that clippit English, and the sharp tongues they
-have, deaves me. The very weans in the street they’ve nae innocence in
-them. They’re a’ making a fashion of speaking as fine as you.”
-
-“Never mind, Lizzie; you’ll soon get accustomed to them, and make
-friends,” said I, with an attempt at consolation.
-
-“Friends! I never had anybody belonging to me but a faither,” said
-Lizzie, who understood relations to be signified by that word: “but I’m
-no heeding now; and I’ll soon learn to nip the ends off the words like
-the rest o’ them. There’s a grand green for drying, that Mrs.
-Goldsworthy calls the back ga’den; and, if you’ll no’ be angry, I can do
-the ironing grand mysel’.”
-
-“You! but I dare not trust you, Lizzie,” said I, shaking my head. “Mr.
-Langham would find it out--I mean he would find me out--if they were not
-quite so well done; and you don’t consider what quantities of things you
-will have to do--to keep the drawing-room nice, and get tea and
-breakfast, and wash, and I don’t know what; and yet always to be tidy,
-and keep baby all day long. You don’t know what you have on your hands
-already, you unlucky girl.”
-
-“Eh, I’m glad!” cried Lizzie, clapping her hands together with fervour;
-and her brown eyes sparkled, and her uncouth figure grew steady with the
-delight of conscious energy and power. If she had been eighteen she
-would not have been so simple-minded. Never anybody was so fortunate as
-I had been in my little maid.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-Very soon we began to get interested in the people round about us; for
-we were not here, as we had been in Mrs. Saltoun’s little house, the
-only strangers. By means of Lizzie, who was much annoyed at the
-discovery, I found out that the house was quite full of lodgers. On the
-ground floor there was a foreign gentleman and his servant. The
-gentleman was absent at first; but the man, a very fat,
-good-humoured-looking fellow, who adopted us all into his friendship
-immediately, and expanded into smiles through the railings of the stair
-when any of us went up or down, was in full possession. The way that
-Lizzie avoided this smiling ogre, and the way in which he appreciated
-her panic, and was amused by it, and conciliated and coaxed her, was the
-most amusing thing I ever saw. And the way he opened the door for me,
-and took off his hat, and laid his hand on his heart and bowed! The good
-fellow quite kept us in amusement. When baby, who was getting on
-famously and noticing everything, crowed at him, in spite of his great
-beard, as children _will_ do to men (it is very odd; but babies _do_
-take to strange men sooner than to strange women, I believe), the fat
-foreigner burst into great shouts of delighted laughter, and snapped his
-fat fingers, and made the funniest grimaces to please the child. None of
-us could speak a single word of his language; we did not even know at
-first what countryman he was; but we all got to have the most friendly,
-kind feeling for the stranger,--all except Lizzie, who stumbled up and
-flew downstairs in her anxiety to avoid his eyes. One bad habit he
-certainly had; he smoked perpetually. He smoked cigars--shocking bad
-ones, Harry said: he did not even put them down when he sprang out of
-his parlour to open the door for me; but only withdrew the one he was
-smoking from his full red lips, and held it somehow concealed in his
-hand. As he was constantly about in the house, or lingering close at
-hand with his great-coat buttoned on round his throat like a cloak, and
-the empty sleeves waving from his shoulders, stamping his feet on the
-ground, and whistling like a bird, this smell of bad cigars was
-perpetually about the house. Poor Mrs. Goldsworthy went up and down with
-the most grieved look upon her face. If any one made the least sign of
-having smelt anything disagreeable, she held up her hands in the most
-imploring way, and said, “What can a poor body do? He’s the obligingest
-creatur as ever was! and he don’t know a word of Christian language; and
-the gentleman--which is a _real_ gentleman, and none o’ your
-make-believes--as good as left him in my charge; and, bless you, if he
-will smoke them cigars, and don’t understand a word a body says to him,
-what am I to do?” Indeed, for my own part, I had not only a great
-sympathy for him, but I could not help liking the fat fellow; and after
-a few days it was astonishing how we got used to the cigars.
-
-Then we ourselves occupied the two next floors. It was a strange little
-house; two rooms, back and front, piled on the top of each other four
-stories high; the top-story rooms were attics; and there was actually a
-lodger in each of those attics! Where Mrs. Goldsworthy and her daughter
-slept themselves was more than either Lizzie or I could make out. One of
-the attic lodgers was a thin, wistful man, whom I could not help looking
-at. He worked at something in his own room, and used to go out to dine.
-He was always very neat and clean; but very threadbare, and with a
-hungry look that went to one’s heart. Perhaps it was not want; maybe he
-was hungry for something else than mere money or nourishment; but
-sometimes I am sure I should not have been surprised to hear that he was
-starving too. Sometimes he looked at me or at baby in his wistful way,
-just as he vanished past us. I can’t say he ever smiled, even at little
-Harry; but still we drew his eyes when he chanced to meet us going out
-or in. I felt a great compassion for this poor solitary man. He was a
-man that might have been found starved, but never would have asked any
-charity; at least so I thought of him. I used to fancy him sitting in
-his solitary room upstairs by the window, and not by the fire,--for we
-never heard him poking any fire, and often saw him at the window,--and
-wondered how people could get so isolated, and chilled, and solitary;
-how they lived at all when they came to that condition--benumbed of all
-comfort, and still not frozen to death. How strange to think of keeping
-on living, years and years after one’s heart is dead! Harry said I was
-fanciful and continually made stories about people; but I did not tell
-Harry one half of my fancies; I don’t know what he would have done to me
-if I had; but I did so wish I could have some chance of doing something
-to please that old man.
-
-One day Harry came downstairs with a smile on his face. “There is the
-most ludicrous scene going on below; come and look, Milly,” he said,
-drawing me to the stairs. I peeped down, and there, to be sure, I saw a
-reason for the sound of talking I had heard for a few minutes past.
-Lizzie was sitting on the stair, pondering deeply, with a perplexed
-face, over a large book spread out on the step above her. She was
-holding baby fast in one arm, and staving off his attempts to snatch at
-the leaves of the book. Leaning on the bannisters regarding her, and
-holding forth most volubly in an unknown tongue, was our fat friend; and
-between every two or three words he pointed to the book, making a sort
-of appeal to it. The contrast between the two--she silent and
-bewildered, confused by her efforts to restrain baby and comprehend the
-book--he, the vast full figure of him, so voluble, so good-humoured, so
-complacent, talking with his fat arms and fingers, his gestures, and
-every movement he made--talking with such confidence that language which
-nobody understood--was almost as irresistible to me as to Harry. We
-stood looking down at them, extremely amused and wondering. Then Lizzie,
-failing to comprehend the book, and hearing herself addressed so
-energetically, raised her round eyes, round with amazement, to the
-speaker’s face. The unknown tongue awed Lizzie; she contemplated him
-with speechless wonder and dismay; until at last, when the speaker made
-an evident close appeal to her, with a natural oratory which she could
-not mistake, unintelligible as was its meaning, her amazement burst
-forth in words. “Eh, man, what _div_ ye mean?” cried Lizzie, in the
-extremity of her puzzled wonder. It was the climax of the scene. Though
-I thrust Harry back into the room instantly, that his laughter might not
-be heard, and smothered my own as best I could, the sound caught
-Lizzie’s watchful ears. In another moment she had reached the top of the
-stairs, breathless, with her charge in her arms. The puzzled look had
-not left Lizzie’s eyes, but she was deeply abashed and ashamed of
-herself. Harry’s laughter did not mend the matter, of course. She
-dropped baby in my arms, and twisted herself into all her old awkward
-contortions. I had to send her away and dismiss Harry into the other
-room. Poor Lizzie had never possessed sufficient courage to permit
-herself to be accosted by the dreadful foreigner before.
-
-However, we were not less amused when we heard what Mrs. Goldsworthy
-would have called “the rights of it.” Lizzie, with great resolution,
-determined to have herself exculpated, came to me with her statement as
-soon as she was quite assured that “the Captain” was out of the way.
-
-“Eh! I came to think at last he was, maybe, a Hielander,” said Lizzie,
-“though they’re seldom that fat. And he laid down the book straight
-before in the stair. I kent what kind of book it was. It was the book
-wi’ a’ kind o’ words, and the meanings. But the meanings just were
-English, and the words were some other language. And I kind of guessed
-what he wanted, too. He wanted me to look in the book for the words he
-said, to tell me what he meant; but eh! how was I to ken where one word
-ended and another began? And he just hurried on and on; and the mair I
-listened, the mair I could not hear a single word, and looking at the
-book was just nonsense; and Master baby, he would try his hand; and oh,
-Mem, if you’re angry, I didna mean ony ill, and I’ll never do it again.”
-
-“Nonsense, Lizzie! I am not angry; but couldn’t you get on with the
-dictionary, and help the poor fellow? Were not you a very good scholar
-at school?”
-
-“No very,” said Lizzie, hanging her head in agonies of pleased but
-painful bashfulness, and unconsciously uttering her sentiments in
-language as puzzling to an English hearer as any uttered by our fat
-friend downstairs. “No very,” said Lizzie, anxiously truthful, yet not
-unwilling to do herself due credit;--“no _very_, but gey.”
-
-Here I fear my laugh rather shocked and affronted Lizzie. She stood very
-upright, and twisted nothing but her fingers. It would have been as
-impossible to persuade her that there was scarcely a person in Chester,
-but myself, who could have translated that exquisite monosyllable as to
-convince the foreigner that he was actually and positively
-incomprehensible in spite of the dictionary. But I will not attempt to
-interpret _gey_; it is untranslatable, as we are quite content so many
-French words should be. Even into Harry’s head, which should be capable
-of better things, I find it quite impossible to convey an idea of the
-expressiveness of this word. Lizzie and I, however, knew no other to put
-in its place.
-
-“But a _gey_ good scholar might do a great deal for the poor fellow,”
-said I, when I had got over my laughter; “tell him the English names for
-things. Try if you can find out his name; but I forgot you were
-frightened for him, Lizzie.”
-
-“Aye, till I thought he might, maybe, be a Hielander,” said Lizzie.
-“Though the Hielanders dinna belang to us at hame, they might feel
-kindly in a strange place; and I’ve heard folk speaking Gaelic. But this
-is no like Gaelic, it’s a’ aws and os; and it’s awfu’ fast, just a
-rattle; a’ the words run in to one another. Forbye what harm could he do
-me? and the book was straight in my way on the stair; and it gangs to my
-heart to set my foot on a book. Ye might be trampin’ ower a bit o’ the
-Bible without kennin’; and then he’s very good-natured; and then,” said
-Lizzie, her eyes suddenly glowing up, “it would be grand to learn a
-language that nae ither body kens!”
-
-With the greatest cordiality I applauded this crowning argument, and did
-all I could to encourage her to persevere with the dictionary, and make
-herself interpreter; for I was not wise enough to think that this new
-study might possibly be too captivating for Lizzie, and lead her into
-neglect of her many and pressing duties. I only thought it was the most
-amusing mode of intercourse I ever heard of, and that it would be great
-fun to watch its progress. Besides, as she said herself, what harm could
-he do her? Poor Lizzie, who might have been in danger at an elder age in
-such a comical friendship, was invulnerable to all the dangers of
-flirtation at fourteen.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-About this time Harry’s object was attained, and some of the other
-ladies of the regiment called on me. I think they were a little
-surprised to find me just like other people, and not very much afraid of
-them; though I will confess that in my heart I was rather anxious,
-thinking whether Lizzie would have the discretion to put baby’s best
-frock on, in case they asked to see him. They did ask, of course; and
-when, after a few minutes, Lizzie came down, not only with his best
-frock on, but with the ribbon I had just got to trim my bonnet for
-spring, carefully tied round his waist for a sash, anybody may imagine
-what my feelings were! He looked very pretty in it certainly; but only
-fancy my good ribbon that I had grudged to buy, and could not do
-without! Ah! it is just possible that one’s nursery-maid may be too
-anxious to show off one’s baby to the best advantage. However, of
-course, I had to smile and make the best of it, and console myself with
-bursting forth upon Lizzie whenever they were gone.
-
-“How could you think of taking my ribbon! oh, Lizzie, Lizzie! and I am
-sure I cannot afford to buy another one,” cried I.
-
-“It’s a’ preened on,” said Lizzie mysteriously, “there’s no a single
-crumple in’t; and I made the bows just like what the leddies have them
-on their bonnets, and it’s no a bit the waur. But, Mem, the very weans
-in the street have a sash round their waist; and was I gaun to let on to
-strangers that our bairn hadna everything grand? And he sat still like a
-king till I fastened it a’ on. You see yoursel’ it has taken nae harm.”
-
-“But the pins!” cried I, in horror. “Were you not afraid, you dreadful
-girl, to make a pincushion of my boy?”
-
-Lizzie was fast taking them out, conveying them to her mouth in the
-first place, and furtively withdrawing them again lest I should observe
-her. Her only answer was to point triumphantly to the child.
-
-“Would he laugh like that if I had jaggit him?” cried Lizzie. There was
-no contesting that proof; so I had to withdraw the ribbon out of their
-joint hands immediately, and put it at once to its proper use. This,
-however, was neither the first nor the last of Lizzie’s impromptus.
-Those great red fingers of hers, all knuckles and corners as they were,
-had that light rapid touch which distinguishes every true _artiste_. She
-devised and appropriated for the decoration of the baby and “the credit
-of the house,” with the utmost boldness. It was not safe to leave
-anything which she could adapt to his use in her way.
-
-The next trial I had was an invitation to dinner, which came for us
-shortly after. I set my face very much against it. Long ago, when Harry
-used to tell me about their parties, I made up my mind it never would do
-for us to begin going to them, however much we might be asked. To be
-sure Harry might go. I was always glad Harry should go; but how was I,
-who had got no trousseau, like other young wives, when I was married,
-but just had one cheap silk dress, bought off Aunt Connor’s ten pounds,
-which I made up myself, to go out to dinner? I stood out long and
-obstinately; but I had to give in at last, just as I had about the maid
-and the lodgings. Harry would not go by himself. He would not decline
-the invitation; he said, with a very glum face, that we had better
-accept, and leave it to the chapter of accidents to find an excuse at
-the time. He did not understand how necessary it was for me to keep at
-home. He had been able always to go where he wanted, and keep up with
-the rest, and it fretted him dreadfully now to feel the bondage that our
-narrow means put us in. You understand he did not object to be
-economical in a general way, nor even, indeed, grumbled, the dear good
-fellow, at giving up many of his old luxuries; and, at first, he seemed
-to be delighted with having no society but our own. But now, when he
-began to feel annoyed that his wife was not in the same position as the
-others, and when I plied him with all the old arguments--that we dare
-not begin such a life or the expense would ruin us, Harry became very
-restive indeed. Somehow it seemed to gall and humble him; the idea that
-_his_ wife could not go out for want of a dress! He could not put up
-with the thought; he jumped up from his chair as if something had stung
-him. “It is nonsense, Milly! folly; the merest shortsightedness; you
-don’t want half a dozen dresses to go to one dinner, and one dress can’t
-ruin us,” cried the unreasonable fellow. He would not understand me or
-listen to me. The notion wounded him quite to the heart. He looked so
-sulky and miserable that I could not bear to see it. I gave a great
-sigh, and gave in again. What could I do?
-
-“Well, Harry!” said I, “the foolishness is all on the other side, mind;
-but if I must give in I can’t help myself. I am only twenty, not twenty
-quite. I’ll go in white.”
-
-“Bravo! you could not do better than go in white!” cried Harry, “there’s
-a courageous woman! But why, may an ignoramus ask, should you not go in
-white, Milly darling! Isn’t it the dress of all others for a--well, an
-ugly little creature like you?”
-
-“I am not so sure about the ugly,” said I; “and now, please, get your
-hat and come out with me. I saw the fashions in a window at the other
-end of the street. Let us go and look at them, and then I shall know how
-to make it up.”
-
-“Why can’t you go to the milliner like other people,” growled the
-unsatisfied man; “and why, answer my question, shouldn’t you go in
-white?”
-
-I durstn’t confess that I had my own vanity in the matter, and being a
-matron, rather despised a white muslin frock to go out in; for if I had
-betrayed the least inkling of such a thing, there is no saying what he
-might not have done; run up a bill, or paid away all the money he had,
-or something; so I stopped his mouth with some foolish answer, and ran
-off to get my bonnet. Upstairs baby was sitting on the carpet, with
-Lizzie beside him, jumping a little paste-board harlequin to please him.
-Her brown eyes were quite sparkling over the loose-legged, insane
-figure, as she jerked the string about. I could not help but stand and
-look at her for a moment with a startled sensation. She was just as much
-amused as baby was. Only to think of such a child being left in charge
-of our boy! I went downstairs in consequence with a slower step, after
-having given Lizzie a superabundance of cautions about taking care of
-him. Only a girl of fourteen! I daresay all this time you must have been
-thinking I was mad to trust her; but, indeed, she was a very
-extraordinary girl; and after all, when you think it, fourteen is quite
-a trustworthy age. She was old enough to know what she ought to do, and
-not old enough to be distracted by thoughts of her own. Ah, depend upon
-it, fourteen is more single-minded than eighteen; and then Lizzie had a
-woman’s strength and handiness along with her child’s heart.
-
-Not to delay longer about it, we did go to the party. Harry said I
-looked very well on the whole; he did not think he would have been
-disposed to exchange with anybody. I had no jewellery at all, which was
-rather a little humiliating to me; but, to my wonder and delight, Harry
-did not object to that. “They’ll only think you’re setting up for
-simplicity,” he said, laughing. “I suppose it’s safer to be thought a
-little humbug than to have your dreadful destitution known. Come along.
-Nobody will suspect you have not a bracelet; only mind you behave
-yourself very innocently, like a little shepherdess, and you’ll take
-everybody in.”
-
-I cannot say I very much admired this piece of advice; and if Harry had
-thought me the least likely to take it, I am sure he would not have been
-so ready with his good counsels. The party disappointed me a great deal.
-How is it one reads in books of society being so captivating, and
-intoxicating, and all that, and how, when one is used to it, one can’t
-do without it? On the contrary, it was as dull--duller than anybody
-could imagine! Instead of that delightful stream of conversation always
-kept up, and so easy, and so witty, and so clever, you could see
-perfectly well that everybody was trying to contrive what they should
-say, and to find out things that would bear talking about. The poor lady
-of the house was so anxious to keep up the talk that she ate no dinner
-in the first place; and in the second, evidently frightened by the
-pauses that occurred, kept talking loud herself, and dancing on from one
-subject to another till she was quite breathless. Then there was one man
-who was expected to make you laugh--people prepared to laugh whenever he
-opened his lips; but I am sorry to say I was so indiscreet as only to
-stare at him, and wonder what it was about. I caught the eye of the
-young lady sitting by him as I did so. She was little,--less than
-me,--dark, and very, _very_ pretty. She was only Miss somebody, but she
-was dressed more richly than anybody there, and had the most beautiful
-bracelets. I could not help feeling a little when I looked at my poor
-wrists and my white muslin dress--I who was married, and she only a
-young girl; when, just at that moment, she gave me a quick look, lifting
-up her eyebrows, and smiling rather disdainfully at the great wit beside
-her. Immediately we two were put in communication somehow. I suppose it
-was mesmerism. Her eyes kept seeking mine all the time of dinner. The
-odd thing about her was that her hair was quite short, hanging in little
-curls upon her neck, like a child’s; and of all things in the world, for
-such a child to wear, she was dressed in _violet velvet_, the most
-beautiful shade in the world. I suppose Harry would have said she was a
-little humbug too, and did it for effect; but, to be sure, it must have
-been wealth and not poverty that did it in her case. When we went up to
-the drawing-room after dinner, she very soon made her way to me. The
-other ladies, most of them belonging to the regiment, had come round me,
-and were doing their best to discover why I had been kept in the dark so
-long, and whether anything could be found out about me. I stood at bay
-pretty well, I think; but when Miss Cresswell came in, somehow all at
-once, like a fresh little breeze, in her soft velvet dress, to the sofa
-beside me, I really felt I could have laid down my head on her shoulder
-and cried. To be sure it was very foolish; one can smile and keep up
-when one is being baited, and when one finds a real friend after being
-aggravated out of one’s life, it is only natural to feel disposed to
-cry. I say a real friend, though I never saw her before,--it was
-mesmerism, I suppose; we took to each other at once.
-
-We had got quite intimate before the gentlemen came upstairs. I had told
-her where we lived, and she promised to come and see me, and we had
-found out a great many opinions we had in common. Things were different,
-however, when the gentlemen appeared. All the young men hovered about
-Miss Cresswell. There were few young ladies, and she was certainly much
-the prettiest; and, I am very grieved to have to say it--I cannot deny
-that she _did_ flirt a little. She was disdainful, and would take no
-notice of anybody at first, but by degrees she did come to little bursts
-of flirtation; and I am afraid she liked it too. Then there began to be
-things said about her and me which displeased me. We were “Art and
-Nature,” somebody said; and some of the gentlemen evidently entertained
-the same feeling that Harry indicated, when he said they would suppose
-me a little humbug. Evidently we were both thought little humbugs,
-sitting by each other to set each other off. Some of them, I do believe,
-thought it had all been made up beforehand. Certainly we were a strange
-contrast; I, in my plain white dress, with no ornaments; she in velvet,
-with such a quantity of jewellery. But to have people looking at me, and
-contrasting me with Miss Cresswell, and making jokes upon my dress and
-hers, was what I did not choose to put up with. People accustomed to
-society may like it, but I did not. So I got up and took Harry’s arm,
-and went to look at a picture. Nobody spoke to us for some five minutes
-or so, but we were close to some ladies talking with all their might.
-Then some one touched my arm, and I saw Miss Cresswell had followed me,
-and brought an old gentleman with her. This was her father. I got behind
-one of the talking ladies to veil my “simplicity,” that there might be
-no more nonsense about it. The ladies were talking of women working.
-Oh, so little they knew or pretended to know about it; I wonder what
-they would have thought if they could have seen my laundry operations;
-or, indeed, I wonder, under all their fine talk, whether they had not,
-of mornings, some work to do themselves. However, I only tell this from
-the glimpse it gave me of my new friend.
-
-“It is all very well to speak of hardships,” cried Miss Cresswell. “_I_
-can’t see any hardship in doing one’s work. Ah! don’t you think they are
-very happy who _have_ something to do?--something they must do whether
-they like it or not. I hate always doing things if I like! it is the
-most odious, tiresome stuff! If I like! and if I like it pray, what is
-the good of it? It is not work any longer, it is only pleasure.”
-
-“My dear child,” said one of the old ladies, “be thankful you have so
-much ease and leisure. Your business just now is to please your papa.”
-
-Here the old gentleman burst in with a long slow laugh, “To worry him,
-you mean,” said Mr. Cresswell; “tell her of her duty, Mrs. Scrivin. Ah,
-my dear lady, she’s contrairy!” he cried, shaking his head with a
-certain air of complacence and ruefulness. Miss Cresswell gave him such
-a flashing, wicked look out of her dark eyes, and then seized my hand to
-lead me away somewhere. She was not a dutiful good girl, it appeared;
-she did not look like it. Now she was roused up, first by flirting, and
-then by rebellion and opposition, you could see it in her eyes. I am
-sorry, I am ashamed to confess it--but I do believe I liked her the
-better for being so wicked. It is very dreadful to say such a thing, but
-I am afraid it was true.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-Our fat Italian friend below stairs began to give us great amusement
-just then. Wherever he went he carried under his arm that square volume
-as fat as himself, in which Lizzie was at present pursuing her occult
-and bewildered studies. To see Domenico (for that was his name), coming
-to a sudden halt straight before you, blocking out all the light from
-that tiny passage which Mrs. Goldsworthy called her “hall,” and
-announcing, with a flourish of his dictionary, that he had something to
-communicate, was irresistibly comic certainly; but it was a little
-embarrassing as well. Domenico’s verbs were innocent of either past,
-present, or future. I presume he was quite above any considerations of
-grammar, except that supplied to him by nature, in his own language, and
-was not aware that such a master of the ceremonies existed to introduce
-him to the new tongue, which the poor fellow found so crabbed and
-unmanageable. I have heard of people managing to get on in foreign
-countries with a language composed of nouns and the infinitive of verbs
-(I honestly confess, that when I heard this story first, I had very
-vague ideas of what the infinitive of a verb was); a primitive savage
-language containing the possibilities of existence; eating, drinking,
-and sleeping; but quite above the conventional uses of conversation.
-Domenico’s ambition was far higher, but his information was absolutely
-confined to those same infinitives. He knew the word only as it stood in
-the dictionary--what were tenses and numbers to him? But you will
-perceive that a conversation conducted on these principles was
-necessarily wanting in precision, and that the conversing persons did
-not always understand each other with the clearness that might have been
-desired.
-
-One clear spring morning, a few days after the party, I was going out
-about household affairs, when Domenico stopped me on the way to the
-door. He had his coat off, and the immense expanse of man in
-shirt-sleeves, which presented itself before me, cannot be expressed by
-description. As usual, he was smiling all over his face; as usual, his
-red lips and white teeth opened out of his beard with a primitive
-fulness and genial good-humour; as usual, he seized his beard with one
-hand as he addressed me, opening out his big dictionary on the table
-with the other. “Signora,” cried Domenico, “the master my--me, of me,”
-first pointing at himself, and then, to make assurance sure, boxing his
-chest emphatically, “the my master,--Signora understand?--come back.”
-
-“What?” cried I, “he has come back, has he, Domenico?”
-
-Domenico nodded a hundred times with the fullest glee and rapture.
-“I--me--Domenico,” he cried, again boxing himself, that there might be
-no doubt of his identity, “make prepare.”
-
-From which I divined that the master was not yet returned; and, nodding
-half as often as Domenico, by way of signifying my entire content and
-sympathy, foolishly concluded that I was let off and might pass.
-However, Domenico was not yet done with me.
-
-“The Signora give little of the advice,” said Domenico, with unusual
-clearness, opening the door of his parlour, and inviting me by many
-gestures to enter. I looked in, much puzzled, and found the room in all
-the agonies of change. The carpet had been lifted, and the floor
-polished, which, perhaps, explained the sounds we had heard for some
-days. I cannot describe how the mean planks of poor Mrs. Goldsworthy’s
-little parlour, many of them gaping apart, looked under the painstaking
-labours of Domenico. He had contrived to rub them into due slipperiness
-and a degree of shine; but the result was profoundly dismal, and
-anything but corresponding to the face of complacency with which
-Domenico regarded his handiwork. The fat fellow watched my eyes, and was
-delighted at first to see my astonishment; but, perceiving immediately,
-with all the quick observation which our straitened possibilities of
-speech made necessary, that my admiration was by no means equal to
-surprise, his countenance fell. “He not pleases to the Signora,” said
-Domenico. Then he hastened to the corner where the rejected carpet lay
-in a roll, and spread a corner of it over the floor. I nodded my head
-again and applauded. Domenico’s disappointment was great.
-
-“But for the sommere?” said Domenico with a melancholy interrogation.
-
-“It is never so warm in England,--cold, cold,” I said, with great
-emphasis and distinctness. Domenico heard and brightened up.
-
-“Ah, thank! ah, thank! not me remember. England! ah! Inghilterra! no
-Italia! ah, thank! the Signora make good.”
-
-The Signora was permitted to consider herself dismissed, I concluded by
-the bows that followed, and I hastened to the door, outstripping, as I
-thought, the anxious politeness of the fat Italian. But I wronged his
-devotion: with that light step, which was so ludicrously out of
-proportion to his enormous figure, he swung out of the room to open the
-door for me, and accomplished it in spite of my precipitation, taking in
-his vast dimensions somehow so as to pass me without collision. I went
-about my business with all the greater lightness after this comical
-encounter, and a little curiosity, I confess, in respect to the master
-who was coming home. Harry had heard of him already, as having quite a
-romantic story attached to him. He had come to Chester to see some lady
-whom he was quite confident of finding, and had been hunting all the
-neighbouring country for her without meeting anybody who knew even her
-name. It was supposed he had gone to make inquiries somewhere else, and
-now he was coming home. I got quite interested about it. I pictured him
-out to myself quite a romantic Italian, of course, with long hair, and a
-picturesque cloak, and possibly a guitar. I made up a story in my own
-mind, like that story of the Eastern girl and A’Becket--that prettiest
-story! I could fancy Domenico’s master, not knowing much more English,
-perhaps, than Domenico, wandering about everywhere with _the name_ on
-his lips; for, of course, it must be a love-story. It is impossible to
-imagine it could be anything else.
-
-In the evening, when Harry and I were going out for a little walk,
-Domenico suddenly presented himself again, and stopped us. This time he
-was beaming broader than ever with smiles and innocent complacent
-self-content. He invited us into the parlour with a multitude of bows.
-Harry, who had heard the morning’s adventure, went immediately, and I
-followed him. The room was all in the most perfect tidiness; Mrs.
-Goldsworthy’s hideous ornaments were put in corners, ornaments of any
-kind being apparently better than none in Domenico’s eyes. But the
-mantel-piece, where the little flower-glasses had heretofore held sole
-sway, was now occupied by some plaster figures bought from some
-wandering image-merchant, whom Domenico had loudly fraternised and
-chattered with at the door some days before. In the middle was a bust of
-Dante, upon which the Italian had placed a wreath of green leaves. The
-walls were covered with cheap-coloured prints in frames--I suspect of
-Domenico’s own manufacture; such prints as people fasten up, all
-frameless in their simplicity, upon walls of nurseries: gay, bright,
-cheap, highly-coloured articles, which quite satisfied the taste of
-Domenico, himself a child in everything but size and years. It was
-nothing to his simple mind that they had no money value, and I suppose
-no value in art either. I don’t suppose Domenico knew anything about
-art, though he was an Italian. But he knew about decoration! He had made
-the walls blush and smile to welcome the new-comer. I trust his master
-was no artist either, and could appreciate the adornments which made the
-face of Domenico beam. The good fellow was so pleased that he forgot his
-dictionary; he burst forth into long explanations, interspersed by
-bursts of laughter and gestures of delight, in his own tongue. He threw
-open the door of the little room behind to reveal to us the arrangements
-of his master’s bedchamber. He explained to Harry--at least I have no
-doubt, by the way he pointed to the carpet, and the frequency of the
-word Signora, that this was what he meant--all about the carpet and his
-polished floor. At last it suddenly flashed upon Domenico that he was
-spending his eloquence in vain. He rushed to the table where his beloved
-dictionary reposed; he dashed at its pages in frantic haste, with wild
-pantomimic entreaties to us to wait. “Is good? good?” said Domenico,
-with an eager expressiveness which made up for his defective verbs. I
-applauded with all the might of gestures and smiles; upon which our
-friend once more opened the door for us. “To-morrow! after to-morrow!”
-said the good fellow. It was then his master was coming home.
-
-And, I am sorry to say, Harry was rather disposed to laugh at the fat
-Italian, and to be sarcastic upon his beautiful prints. Harry did not
-know anything in the world about pictures; but he knew how cheap these
-were, and that was enough for him, the prose Englishman. I am thankful
-to say that I soon reduced him to silence. He declared I was savage in
-good Domenico’s defence.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-“Mem, he’s been at the market,” said Lizzie, next morning, “and bought a
-hen; and he smiles and laughs to himself like to bring down the house.”
-
-This was the first bulletin of the important day on which the Italian
-gentleman was expected home.
-
-The next report was more painful to Lizzie’s feelings. “He’s been at the
-chapel,” said Lizzie, in a horrified whisper, “and brought hame water to
-put in the wee bowlie at the maister’s bedhead. Oh, did you see it? it
-has a cross, and--and--a figure on’t,” said Lizzie, with a deep awe,
-“and a wee round bowlie for the water. What’ll yon be for? I’m no sure
-it’s safe to be in the same house.”
-
-Lizzie’s horror, however, did not diminish her curiosity. After a little
-interval another scrap of information reached my attentive ear. “He has
-some veal on the kitchen-table,” said Lizzie, “and if he’s no’ working
-at it himsel’! A man! cutting away and paring away, and putting the pan
-a’ ready like a woman--and, eh, mem, the wastry’s dreadful. He’s making
-holes in’t and stuffin’ them fu’ o’ something. Noo he’s puttin’t on the
-fire.”
-
-That day baby was neglected for the first time. Lizzie was too much
-excited and interested--not to say that she had an observant eye and
-believed it quite possible that she might receive a hint from this man
-of all work--to repress her natural curiosity. The next thing she
-reported was a half-alarmed statement that “he was away out again and
-left it at the fire; and what if it was _sitting to_[A] before he came
-hame?” Lizzie’s dread of this accident carried her off downstairs to
-watch Domenico’s stew with friendly anxiety. In about an hour she
-re-appeared again.
-
- [A] A Scotch expression which signifies burned in the pan.
-
-“He’s come back; and, eh! o’ a’ the things in the world to think upon,
-it’s a box of thae nasty things he smokes!” cried Lizzie. “If the
-gentlemen smokes tae, we’ll a’ be driven out of the house.”
-
-Just then, however, another incident occurred which interrupted Lizzie’s
-observations. As she went out of the room, in silent despair, after her
-last alarming presentiment, somebody evidently encountered her coming
-up. “I want Mrs. Langham, please,” cried Miss Cresswell’s voice. “Are
-you her maid? Oh, I’m not to be shown into the drawing-room. I am to go
-to _her_. Where is she?--in the nursery? Show me where to go, please.”
-
-“But you _maun_ go to the drawing-room,” said Lizzie, making, as I felt
-sure from the little quiver in her voice, her bob to the young lady, and
-audibly opening the sacred door of our state apartment.
-
-“Maun? do you mean must? I never do anything I must,” said Miss
-Cresswell. “There now! make haste; show me where Mrs. Langham is.”
-
-“The drawing-room is the place for leddies that come visiting,” said
-Lizzie, resolutely. “I’ll no let ye in ony other place.”
-
-“You’ll not let me in!--what do you mean, you impertinent child?” cried
-Miss Cresswell.
-
-“I’m no a child,” cried Lizzie. “I ken my duty; and if I was to loose my
-good place what good would that do onybody? If ye please, ye’ll come in
-here.”
-
-The pause of astonishment that followed was evident by the silence; then
-a little quick impatient step actually passed into that poor little
-drawing-room. “You strange little soul! but I’ll tell Mrs. Langham,”
-cried Miss Cresswell.
-
-“I’m no a soul,” said Lizzie; “I’m just like other folk. I’m Mrs.
-Langham’s lass; and she kens me different from a stranger. What name
-will I say, if ye please?”
-
-This question was answered by a burst of laughter from the visitor,
-which I increased by throwing open the door of my concealment and
-disclosing myself with baby in my arms. _He had on his best frock by
-accident_, which explains my rashness.
-
-“How have you managed it?” cried Miss Cresswell; “why, here is a
-romance-servant. Dear Mrs. Langham, tell me what you have done to make
-her so original--and let me have baby. I have not come to make a call,
-as that creature supposed. I have come as a friend--you said I might.
-Why must I be brought into this room?”
-
-“It is the most cheerful room,” said I, evading the question: “however,
-Lizzie did not mean to be saucy--she knew no better--but she is the most
-famous help in the world, though she is little more than a child.”
-
-“But then I suppose you must do a great many things yourself?” said my
-visitor, looking me very close in the face.
-
-I felt my cheeks grow hot in spite of myself--if Harry had heard her he
-would have been furious; and I daresay many people would have set this
-down at once as the impertinence of the rich to the poor. I felt it was
-no such thing; but still it embarrassed me a little, against my will.
-
-“Do you know some people would be affronted to be asked as much?” said
-I.
-
-“I know,” cried Miss Cresswell, with a little toss of her head,--“people
-who can’t understand how miserable it is not to _have_ to do anything.
-Do you believe in voluntary work? I don’t. I can’t see it’s any good. I
-can’t see the use of it. I should like to cook the dinner and keep the
-things tidy. I should like to see everything stand gaping and calling
-for me till I set it to rights. That’s the pleasure; but as for saving
-somebody else trouble, why should I do it? I can’t see any advantage
-whatever in that.”
-
-“Then you would not have me save Lizzie or the landlady some trouble
-when I can?” said I.
-
-“That is totally a different thing,” said the impetuous little girl;
-then she started, in a manner to me inexplicable, and gazed out of the
-window near which she was sitting. “Mr. Luigi!” she exclaimed to
-herself; “now I should so like to know what he wants here.”
-
-Just then there was the noise of an arrival at the door; of course it
-must be the Italian gentleman. “Who is he?” said I. “If it is the
-Italian, he lives here.”
-
-Without making any immediate reply, Miss Cresswell clasped her hands
-softly together. “How strange!” she exclaimed. Of course it was her own
-thoughts she was following out, but they seemed sufficiently interesting
-to rouse my attention. I occupied myself in the meantime with baby,
-feeling that it would be the merest cruelty to call upon Lizzie at this
-climax of the day’s excitement. And Miss Cresswell leant forward,
-carefully drawing out the curtain of the window to shade her, and
-watching the return of Domenico’s master. Her colour was a little higher
-than it had been previously, and she seemed to have quite quietly and
-comfortably forgotten my presence, I was amused; and, if I must confess
-it, I was in a condition to be easily affronted as well. At last she
-recovered herself, and blushed violently.
-
-“I don’t know what you will think of me,” she cried; “but it _is_ so
-strange--my godmamma had the last news of his going, and I have the
-first intelligence of his return. Do you know, there is quite a story
-about him. He has come here to seek out a lady whom nobody ever heard
-of; but I do believe, whatever any one may choose to say, that godmamma
-Sarah knows.”
-
-“Knows? Will she not tell, then?” said I.
-
-“Look here,” said Miss Cresswell; “she was once a great beauty; and I
-believe, if you never will tell anybody, that she’s a cruel, wicked old
-woman. There! I did not mean to say half so much. She got so agitated
-whenever she heard what Mr. Luigi wanted that nobody could help finding
-her out; but, though I am certain she knows, she will do everything in
-the world rather than tell.”
-
-“But why?”
-
-“Oh, I cannot tell you why. I know nothing at all about it; and
-remember,” cried my imprudent visitor, “that I tell you all this in the
-greatest secret! I would not tell papa nor any one. I said it to my own
-godmamma just as it came into my head, and put her into such distress,
-the dear old soul! My own idea is, that godmamma Sarah does it only for
-spite; but her sister, you know, has a different opinion, and is
-frightened, and does not know what she is frightened about. I daresay
-you will think me very strange to say so,” said Miss Cresswell, again
-blushing very much, “but I should like to meet Mr. Luigi. I am sure he
-is somehow connected with my godmothers: I cannot make out how, I am
-sure; but I am quite certain, however unlikely it may be, that godmamma
-Sarah knows!”
-
-She seemed quite excited and in earnest about it; so, as all her
-thoughts were turned that way, I told her our amusing intercourse with
-Domenico, and what good friends we were. Though she laughed and clapped
-her hands, she was too much engrossed with her own thoughts evidently to
-be much amused. She was most anxious to know whether I had heard
-anything of Mr. Luigi; whether the landlady talked of him; whether I
-knew how he came to Chester. She told me the story I had heard dimly
-from Harry in the most clear and distinct manner. On the whole, she
-filled me with suspicions. If I had not seen her flirting so lately, I
-should certainly have fancied her in love.
-
-“You know him, then?” said I, after hearing her very steadily to an end.
-
-“Not in the least,” she cried, once more blushing in the most violent,
-undisguisable way. “How should I know him? Don’t you know I have no
-brothers or sisters, Mrs. Langham? and can’t you suppose that papa has
-exactly the same people to dinner year after year? Ah, you are quite
-different! You have your own place, and can choose your own
-society--choose me, please, there’s a darling! My name’s Sara; quite a
-waiting-maid’s name; let me have baby and come and help you. As for
-saying he would not come to me, it is nonsense. I will tell you exactly
-how many friends I have,--Godmamma, who is more than a friend, of
-course, but no relation; my old nurse, whom I _never_ see, and who lives
-a hundred miles off; and old Miss Fielding, at the rectory. Now only
-think how much I am alone! You are quite new here; you can choose for
-yourself--choose me!”
-
-“With all my heart!” said I. I was so much surprised by her ignorance
-and her free speech, that, though I liked her very much, I really did
-not know what more to say.
-
-“I suppose, then, I may take off my bonnet?” she said, quite innocently
-looking up in my face.
-
-If she had rushed to kiss me I could have understood it. If she had
-declared we were to be friends for ever, I should have quite gone in
-with her; but, to take off her bonnet! that was quite a different
-matter. I am sadly afraid I stammered and stared. I wanted a friend as
-much as she did--but men are such strange creatures. What would Harry
-say when he came in?
-
-However, Sara Cresswell did not wait till I finished considering. In
-five minutes after she was sitting on the carpet at the window with
-little Harry, playing with him. The child was quite delighted. As for
-me, I was too much taken by surprise to know whether I was pleased or
-not. Harry was to dine at mess that night; and, of course, I had only
-meant to have tea all by myself in the little back room. What was to be
-done? I am sorry to say I was very much tempted to improvise a dinner,
-and pretend that it was just what I always did. I think the thing that
-saved me from this was looking at her with her little short curls; she
-looked so like a child! Besides, if we were really to be friends, was I
-to begin by deceiving her? Much better she should know at once all our
-simple ways.
-
-“You will have no dinner,” said I, faltering a little. “Mr. Langham goes
-out, and I only take tea.”
-
-“That is exactly what I like. Dinners are _such_ bores!” said Sara, with
-the air of one who belonged to us and had taken possession.
-
-It was getting quite dark, and the lamps were being lighted outside; of
-course it delighted baby very much to be held up to see them, as his new
-nurse held him. As she stood there lifting him up, I put my hand upon
-her pretty hair. She had quite taken my heart.
-
-“Have you had a fever, dear?” said I.
-
-Sara stared at me a moment, then looked deeply affronted, then burst
-into a strange laugh. “I forgive you, because you called me dear,” she
-cried, starting off with baby to the other window. I suppose, then, it
-had not been a fever--some foolish fancy or other,--and no doubt her
-friends and acquaintance had pretty well avenged it, without any further
-question from me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-Next morning I was a little amused and a little surprised to think over
-all that had happened. The idea of having a friend, who stayed with me
-till after nine, and helped to put baby to bed, and interfered with
-Lizzie, and turned over all our few books, and asked all sorts of
-questions, was the oddest thing in the world to me; and of course when I
-told Harry I heard all sorts of jokes from him about female friendship,
-and inquiries how long it would last, which made me extremely angry. Are
-men’s friendships any steadier, I wonder? I should say _male_
-friendship, to be even with him. Mr. Thackeray is delightful; but he
-puts a great deal of stuff into young men’s heads. I allow _he_ may joke
-if he likes--to be sure, he does not mean half of it--but do you suppose
-_they_ may all follow his example? Not that I mean to infer anything on
-Harry’s part that I could not pay him back quite comfortably. But not
-meaning Harry in the least, I don’t see why I should not do my little
-bit of criticism. I was just beginning to read books at that time, and
-everything was fresh to me. All the foolish lads think they are quite as
-wise as Mr. Thackeray, and have quite as good a right to think
-themselves behind the scenes. I suppose there never was anybody who did
-not like to feel superior and wiser than his neighbours. I would put
-Domenico’s laurel wreath on Mr. Thackeray’s head; but I should like to
-put an extinguisher on the heads of the Thackerians. I should think the
-great man would be disposed to knock down half the people that quote
-him, could he only hear, and behold, and note.
-
-However, that has nothing to do with my story. I knew Lizzie must be in
-a highly excited state from long repression of her manifold gleanings of
-intelligence respecting last night’s arrival; and I went to her as soon
-as Harry was out lest any explosion should happen. Lizzie, however,
-looked rather downcast as, baby being asleep, she went about her work
-upstairs. My first idea was that some jealousy of Miss Cresswell had
-invaded the girl’s mind, but that did not explain all the peculiarities
-of her manner. She certainly allowed herself to be drawn into an
-account of Domenico’s proceedings, which gradually inspired and animated
-her; but even in the midst of this she would make a hurried pause, now
-and then, and listen, as if some painful sound had reached her ear.
-
-“It was a very grand dinner. Eh, I never saw onything like the way he
-steered, and twisted, and mixed, and watched,” said Lizzie; “he maun be
-a real man-cook, like what’s in books; and took up everything separate,
-six different things one after the ither; and Sally says there was as
-mony plates as if it had been a great party; and the minute before and
-the minute after, what was the gentleman doing but smoking like as if he
-was on fire; and eh, mem, he maun be a great man yon! Domenico kissed
-his hand; but after that,” continued Lizzie, blushing and turning aside
-with a strong sense of impropriety, “the gentleman kissed _him_!”
-
-“That is how foreigners do,” said I, in apology.
-
-“And after the dinner there was that sound o’ tongues through the house,
-you would have thought the walls would ha’e been down. Eh, sic language
-for Christians to speak! but, mem, they’re no Christians, they’re
-Papishers--is that true?” said Lizzie, with a little anxiety. “Such a
-blatter o’ words, and no one a body could understand. No’ that I was
-wantin’ to understand; but it’s awfu’ funny to hear folk speakin’, and
-nae sense in’t. Eh, whisht! what was that?” cried Lizzie, starting and
-stopping short in her tale.
-
-It certainly was, or sounded, very like a moan of pain.
-
-“What is it, Lizzie?”
-
-“Eh, to think of us speaking of dinners, and sic nonsense!--and, mem,
-it’s a poor man like to dee with pride, and sickness, and starvation!
-What will I do? What will I do?” cried Lizzie. “If naebody else in the
-house durst, it maun be me. I’ll no keep quiet ony langer--he canna be
-ill at me that was destitute mysel’. I’ll gang and steal the bairn’s
-beef-tea, and tell him lies, that it’s his ain. Mem, let me gang. I
-canna bear’t ony mair!”
-
-I stopped her, however, growing very much excited myself. “What is it?
-What do you mean?”
-
-Lizzie, who was choking with distress, eagerness, and excitement,
-pointed her finger up, and struggled to find her voice. It burst upon me
-in a moment. The poor gentleman in the attic, the threadbare wistful man
-who went out to dine, had not been visible for some days. Lizzie told me
-in gasps what the landlady had told her. He was ill; he was very poor;
-deeply in Mrs. Goldsworthy’s debt. They had noticed that his usual work
-had not been on his table for some time, and that no domestic stores of
-any kind were in his little cupboard; three days ago he had become too
-ill to go out, they did not think he had anything to eat, and he would
-accept nothing from them. All yesterday they had not ventured to enter
-his room. Sick, starving, friendless--what a picture it was! No wonder
-he had hungry, wistful eyes. I lost no time as you may suppose. I sent
-Lizzie flying downstairs for the beef-tea. As for asking whether he
-would admit me or not, whether he would think it impertinent or not, I
-never stopped to think. Another of those moans, more audible this time
-because I was listening for it, thrilled me through and through before
-Lizzie came back. Bless the girl! in no time at all she had got the
-whitest napkin to be had in the house for the tray; and the beef-tea
-smoked and smelt just as it ought. I was at the door of the room before
-I thought anything about how I was to excuse myself. By mere instinct I
-opened the door first; then knocked, merely to warn the inmate of my
-coming, and in another moment stood all by myself in a new world.
-
-Another world! a world of misery, endurance, voiceless passion, and
-persistence, altogether unknown to me. He was lying on some chairs
-before the fireplace, supporting his gaunt shoulders against the end of
-his bed,--before the fireplace, in which there was no fire, nor had
-been. It was trim and well-blacked, and filled up with faded ornamental
-chippings of paper. His table was beside him, and he leaned one arm on
-it; nothing on the table, not even a book, except some old pens,
-blotting-paper, and an ink-bottle. His coat buttoned close up to his
-neck, with dreadful suggestive secrecy, plainly telling how little there
-was below; and the hungry sad eyes, glaring wolfish and frenzied out of
-his worn face. He gave a great start when I came in, and either in
-passion or weakness thrust one of the chairs from under his feet, so
-that it fell with a great noise on the floor. The sound and the movement
-made my heart beat. But he took no further notice, only stared at me. I
-went forward and put the tray before him on the table, uncovered the
-basin, placed everything within his reach. All the while he stared at
-me, his eyes contracting and dilating as I never saw the eyes of any
-human creature before. I scarcely think he was a human creature at that
-moment; at least he was holding to his manhood only by that frantic hold
-of pride, which hunger and misery were rending before my very eyes. He
-began to tremble dreadfully; the sight of the food excited his weakness;
-but he tried to resist till the last gasp.
-
-“Who are you? and how dare you come to my room and intrude upon me!” he
-said hoarsely, and trembling like a palsied man.
-
-“I am your fellow-lodger. You used to notice my baby when you went
-downstairs; and they told me you were ill, and could not go out. When
-one is ill there is nothing so good as beef-tea,” said I, trembling a
-good deal myself; “even if you cannot eat, you might drink a little, and
-it would refresh you. Do pray try, it will do you good.”
-
-“And how do you know?” he said trembling more and more, till his very
-utterance was indistinct, “that I cannot have beef-tea or--or anything
-else I like, of my own. Ah!” he ended, with a sharp cry. He put forward
-his hand towards it; then he stopped in a dreadful spasm of resistance,
-and glared at me. I obeyed my first impulse, and went out of the room
-hurriedly. He would not take it while I was there.
-
-In about five minutes after I went back again with some coals and wood,
-in one of Mrs. Goldsworthy’s old coal scuttles. I thought I saw how to
-manage him--never to ask permission or make apologies, but simply to do
-what was needful. He had emptied the basin, I saw at a glance, and had a
-piece of bread in his hand, which he put down when I came in. He said
-nothing, but stared at me as I lighted the fire. When my back was turned
-to him I fancied he made another stealthy application to the bread. He
-would hide the full amount of his misery if it were possible; but it was
-only a partial victory he could obtain over himself.
-
-“Who, who are you?” he said at last. “You--you are a lady, eh? It is not
-your business to make up fires?”
-
-“Yes,” said I, as cheerfully as I could; “but we are poor; and when one
-has not much money one has many things to do.”
-
-At this the poor gentleman gave a great groan. Then, after a little,
-gasped, in broken words, “Thank God! creatures like you don’t know the
-truths they say.”
-
-I understood him at once. “No,” said I, “it is quite true; but God knows
-all about it, that is a comfort always. Don’t you think if I put the
-pillows behind you, you would be more comfortable? Try this. I am quite
-sure it is better so.”
-
-“Ah! but how do you know I can’t have pillows as I please, and whatever
-I want of my own?” cried the jealous, delirious pride, waking up again
-in his big hollow eyes.
-
-“I don’t know anything about it,” said I; “but you have nobody with you
-just now. If you will not send for any friends, you can’t help having
-neighbours all the same.”
-
-He said, “Ah!” again, and relapsed into his silent stare. But for the
-frenzy of desperate want and desperate pride, which only flickered up by
-moments, he was too far benumbed with want and suffering to do anything
-in the way of resistance. After I had settled him a little comfortable I
-went downstairs again, and as soon as baby’s second bowl of beef-tea,
-which had been hastily made to take the place of the first, was ready, I
-stole that also, and went up with it again. Baby, who was as fat as
-possible, could quite well do without it; and I remember having read
-that people, who had been in great want, should get food very often but
-not much at a time. The poor gentleman was lying with his head on the
-pillow and his eyes half shut, the light of the fire glimmering over
-him, and a kind of quiet in his attitude. When he opened his eyes they
-grew wolfish again for a moment; but he was subdued--the first frenzy
-was gone. Somehow he did not seem alone any longer, with that dear good
-charitable fire blazing and crackling, and making all the noise it
-could, as if to show what company it could be. And this time he actually
-drew the basin towards him, and ate its contents before me. I went to
-the little window and cried a little privately. Oh, it was pitiful!
-pitiful! That morning I am sure he had laid himself down upon these
-chairs, mad with want, bitterness, and solitude, to die.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-“You, who would not go out to dinner because you could not afford it!”
-cried Harry, “how do you dare venture on such rash proceedings? It
-appears to me you have adopted a new member into the family.”
-
-“Ah, but it is different,” said I; “going out to dinner was a matter of
-choice, this was a matter of necessity.”
-
-“It depends upon how people think,” said Harry, “the priest and the
-Levite were of quite a different opinion; but if you mean to have
-friends and pensioners, and get rich people and poor people about you,
-Milly darling, we’ll have to think of new supplies. I cannot imagine how
-it has gone out of my mind all this time. Pendleton actually asked me
-to-day whether I had heard anything more about your grandfather’s
-house.”
-
-“My grandfather’s house!” I said; and we both looked at each other and
-laughed; our removal had put all that out of our heads. Chester, and new
-places to look at, and new people to see, and just the usual disturbance
-of one’s thoughts in changing about, had betrayed Harry who was so
-anxious about it, just as much as it had betrayed me.
-
-“I must see after it now in earnest. A thousand pounds or so, you know,”
-said Harry, with a kind of serio-comic look, “would be worth a great
-deal to you just now.”
-
-And with this he went out. A thousand pounds or so! twenty would have
-been nice; aye, or ten, or even five, more than just our regular money.
-However, I only laughed to myself, and went upstairs to my poor
-gentleman. After all, I am not so sure that he was a gentleman, or at
-least anything unusual in himself. He was very independent, and want,
-and a passionate dread of being found out, and made a pauper of, had
-carried him to a kind of heroism for the moment. But when he got used to
-me, and consented to let me bring him things, he became very much like
-other people. He was always eager to get the newspaper and see the news.
-I carried him up the Chester paper, which Mrs. Goldsworthy took in just
-now.
-
-When I went into his room, the first thing I saw was two letters on the
-table. He was just drawing back, and still trembling from his exertion,
-for he was still very weak. He put the letters towards me with a little
-movement of his hand.
-
-“I am writing to ask for work; I’m wonderfully steady now, wonderfully
-steady; if they would only give me work! Ah, it’s hard times when a man
-can’t get work,” he said.
-
-I glanced at them as he wished me. “Cresswell?” said I; “I think I know
-his daughter, Mr. Ward. I’ll speak to her; perhaps she can make him help
-you.”
-
-“She can make him do whatever she likes,” said my friend, with his
-wistful eyes; “it’ll be well for him if she don’t make him do what he’ll
-repent.”
-
-“How do you mean?” said I, with some surprise.
-
-“Well!” said my patient, “it’s a story I don’t understand, and I can’t
-give you the rights of it. I was never more than just about the office
-an hour or so in the day, getting my copy. You see there’s two rich old
-ladies about half-a-dozen miles out o’ Chester, and there’s either some
-flaw in their title, or something that way. I know for certain there was
-an advertisement written out for the Times, for one Mortimer----”
-
-“Mortimer!”
-
-“Yes,” he said, looking at me in his eager way. “I suppose it had been
-some day when he had quarrelled with them, and meant to bring in the
-true owner; when all of a sudden it was withdrawn, and has never been in
-the Times to this day; and Miss Cresswell after that spent a long time
-at the Park. Somebody said in the office it was more than likely the
-ladies would leave their property to her; and to be sure if that was so,
-it would be none of her father’s business to hunt up the right heir.”
-
-I felt completely dizzy and bewildered; I kept looking down upon the
-table, where the letters seemed to be flitting about with the strangest
-unsteady motion.
-
-“And are the ladies called Mortimer?” I said, almost under my breath.
-
-“Yes; they’re folks well known in Chester, though seldom to be seen
-here,” said Mr. Ward; “the youngest one, Miss Milly, is a good creature;
-the other one, and her name is Sarah, was a great beauty in her day. I
-remember when I was a lad, we young fellows would walk all that way just
-to see her riding out of the gates, or driving her grey ponies; they
-called her the beautiful Miss Mortimer in those days. I daresay now
-she’s as old, and as crazy, and as chilly--but thank heaven, she can
-never be as poor, and as friendless, and as suffering--as me.”
-
-I could not make any answer for a long time. I stood with my hands
-clasped together, and my brain in a perfect whirl; these words, Sarah,
-Miss Mortimer, the Park, going in gusts through my mind. What did it
-mean? I had come upstairs with a smile on my lips about the fabulous
-house of my grandfather. Was this the real story now about to disclose
-itself? I felt for a moment that overwhelming impatience to hear more
-which makes one giddy when on the verge of a discovery; but I did not
-want to betray myself to the old man.
-
-“And do you mean,” said I, holding fast by the table to keep myself from
-trembling, “that they are not the lawful owners of their estate?”
-
-“Nay, I cannot tell you that,” said my patient, very coolly; “but what
-could be wanted with an advertisement in the Times for one Mortimer? and
-old Cresswell holding it back, you know, as soon as it was likely that
-his girl might get the Park.”
-
-“Do you remember what was the Mortimer’s name that was to be advertised
-for? I know some Mortimers,” said I, with a little tremble in my voice.
-
-“I can’t say I exactly remember just at this moment,” said the old man,
-after a little pause. “It wasn’t like a Mortimer name; it was--nay,
-stay,--it was one of the cotton-spinners’ names; I remember I thought of
-the spinning-jenny directly; something in that way; I can’t tell exactly
-what it was.”
-
-I could scarcely stand. I could scarcely keep silent; and yet I durst
-not, for something that choked the voice in my throat, suggest my
-father’s name boldly to his recollection. I hurried away and threw
-myself on a chair in my own room. All was silent there; but with just a
-door between us Lizzie was playing with my boy; and his crows of infant
-delight, and her soft but homely voice, seemed to break in upon the
-solitude I wanted. I rose from that retreat, and went down to our little
-drawing room. There it was Domenico’s voice, round and full, singing,
-whistling, talking, all in a breath. Nowhere could I get quiet enough to
-think over the extraordinary information I had just received. Or,
-rather, indeed it was not either Lizzie’s voice, or Domenico’s, but the
-agitation and tumult in my own mind; the beating of my heart, and the
-stir and restlessness that rose in me, that prevented me from thinking.
-Could it be possible that my father’s languid prophecy, which Aunt
-Connor reported so lightly, had truth in it after all? The idea excited
-me beyond the power of thinking. I went out and came in. I took up
-various kinds of work and threw them down again; I could do nothing till
-Harry came in, and I had told him. Then I fancied there might possibly
-seem some sense and coherence in the news. If this were to come true,
-then what prospects might be dawning upon us! In this sudden
-illumination my past dread returned to me, as a fear which has been
-forgotten for a time always does. The war! if Harry’s wife turned out a
-great heiress, must not Harry himself cease to be a soldier and enter
-into his fortune? Ah me! but he would not; he would not if I should ask
-him on my knees; not, at least, till he had taken his chance of getting
-killed like all the rest.
-
-This threw me back, with scarcely a moment’s interval, into the full
-tide of those thoughts which had tortured me before we came to Chester.
-I got up from my chair and began to walk about the room in the
-restlessness of great sudden apprehension and terror. All my trouble
-came back. My fears had but been asleep, the real circumstances were
-unchanged; even to-day, this very day, Harry might be ordered to the
-war.
-
-He saw my nervous, troubled look in a moment when he came in; he was
-struck by it at once. “You look as you once looked in Edinburgh, Milly,”
-he said, coming up to me; “what is the matter? Something has happened
-while I have been away?”
-
-“Harry,” cried I, with a little excitement, suddenly remembering that I
-had news to tell him. “I have found the Park and the Sarah; I have found
-the estate I am heiress to; I have found out something far more
-important than that old red-brick house; and, do you know, hearing of
-this brought everything to my mind directly, all my terrors and
-troubles. Never mind, I’ll tell you what I heard in the first place. It
-was from my poor gentleman upstairs.”
-
-Harry, who had heard me with great interest up to this point, suddenly
-shrugged up his shoulders, and put his lips together with that
-disdainful provoking whew! with which men think they can always put one
-down.
-
-“Oh, indeed, you need not be scornful!” said I; “he writes papers for a
-lawyer, and had a very good way of knowing. He says Mr. Cresswell had an
-advertisement all ready to be put into the Times some months ago, for
-one Mortimer, whose name reminded him of a spinning-jenny. But it never
-was sent to the paper, because Miss Cresswell went out to the Park, and
-it was thought the ladies would make her their heiress; but it was
-supposed there was some flaw in their title, and that this Mortimer
-would be the true heir.”
-
-“The Park, and the ladies, and Miss Cresswell, and it was supposed? By
-Jove, Milly!” cried Harry, with great vehemence, “do you see how
-important this is?--have you no better grounds than it was thought, and,
-it was supposed?”
-
-“You are unreasonable, Harry; I only heard what he had to say; and,
-besides, it might not be my father, nor the same people at all. _He_
-could not tell me, I only heard what he had to say.”
-
-But this explanation did not satisfy Harry; he became as excited as I
-had been, but in a different way. He snatched up his hat, and would have
-gone at once, on the impulse of the moment, to see Mr. Cresswell, had
-not I detained him. The news had the same influence on Harry that it had
-on me. It woke us both out of that happy quiescence into which we had
-fallen when we came here. We were no longer dwelling at peace, safe in
-each other’s society; once more we were thrown into all the agitation
-that belonged to our condition and prospects.
-
-Harry was a soldier, ready to be sent off any day to the camp and the
-trenches, gravely anxious about a home and shelter for his wife and
-child; I, a soldier’s wife, ready at any moment to have the light of my
-eyes torn from me, and my life cut in twain. After the first hurried
-burst of consultation, we were both silent, thinking on these things.
-Certainly it was better that we should have been aroused. The reality
-coming at once, all unapprehended and unthought of, would otherwise have
-been an intolerable blow. Now there was little fear that we could forget
-again.
-
-It was natural that we should return to the subject again and again
-during the day. Harry drew my father’s old books, and the drawing he had
-laughed at, from his own desk, where he had kept them; and with them the
-envelope, full of formal documents, which he had written to Aunt Connor
-for with so much haste and importance, to substantiate my claim to my
-grandfather’s house; there they lay, unused, almost unlooked at. Harry
-shook his head as he drew them out. We neither of us said anything. We
-were neither of us sorry that we had forgotten all about it for a time.
-For my own part, I went away upstairs very like to cry. This
-information, which had thrown us back into so many troubles, might never
-come to anything; and even if it did, what difference would that make?
-Harry, if I was found out to be a king’s daughter, would never leave his
-profession, or shrink from its dangers, while this war lasted. My
-pleasant forgetfulness was over now. He was looking at this subject in
-the same light he had looked at it before we left Edinburgh;--it would
-be a home for me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-It was an agitated, troubled day. The accidental nature of the
-information, calmly told to one who was supposed to have no interest in
-it; the coincidence of the names; the startled feeling we had in thus
-being suddenly brought into contact with people nearly connected with
-us, who were unaware of our existence, and of whose existence we had
-been unaware, acted very powerfully on our imaginations. I don’t think
-either Harry or I had a moment’s doubt upon the subject. As to the
-identity of the persons, certainly none; and I confess that I, for one,
-received with perfect faith the suggestion that there was a wrong
-somehow in the matter, and that my father had turned out to be the true
-heir. It never occurred to me to imagine any other reason for the
-suppressed advertisement; and Mr. Cresswell, whom I had thought at the
-very climax of respectability, suddenly descended into a romantic
-lawyer-villain in my excited eyes.
-
-To add to the agitation of my thoughts, Sara Cresswell chose to take
-that day for one of her odd visits. She came in the afternoon to stay
-with me till evening. She was clearly quite beyond her father’s control;
-not even subject to a wholesome restriction of hours and meal-times; for
-she never said her father was out to dinner on the occasions of her
-coming, nor accounted in any way for her liberty at his dinner-hour. The
-little brougham used to come for her at night, and her little maid in
-it--a sign, I suppose, that the father did not disapprove; but that was
-all. Only wilful as she was, I confess I had grown to like her very
-much. I sometimes lectured her; and once or twice we quarrelled; but she
-always came back next time just the same as ever. So quarrelling with
-her was evidently useless. I must say I had a very strange sensation in
-welcoming her to-day. Could she know her father’s base purposes about
-the Park which, according to all appearances, ought to be mine? Could
-she have been paying her court to those ladies with the hope of
-supplanting the true heir? A glance at her face, only too frank and
-daring always, might have undeceived me; but of course, I was bucklered
-up in my own thoughts, and could see nothing else.
-
-“You are ill,” said Sara, “or you are worried; or ’tis I have done
-something. If I have, I don’t mind; that is to say, I am very sorry, of
-course, and I will never do it again. But if you think you will get rid
-of me by looking glum, you are sadly mistaken. I shan’t go. If you won’t
-have me for a friend, I shall come for a servant, and fight it out with
-Lizzie. Lizzie, will you have me for ‘a neebor?’ Ah, I’m learning
-Scotch.”
-
-“Eh, that’s no Scotch!” cried Lizzie; “ye dinna ken what it is. I’m,
-maybe, no that good at learning folk now, for I have to speak English
-mysel’.”
-
-“And Italian, Lizzie!” cried Sara, clapping her hands, and forgetting
-all about my “glum” face.
-
-Lizzie’s elbows and ankles fell almost immediately, and the most
-extraordinary blush rose on the girl’s face. “Eh, but it’s funny to hear
-_twa_ speaking’t,” cried Lizzie, evading the subject eagerly. The truth
-is, she had got overmuch involved in the delightful excitement of the
-new language, and in consequence of the ludicrous fascination of the
-dictionary, by means of which Domenico and she conducted their
-conversations, had come to like the society of that worthy. When I found
-him escorting my child-maid and the baby out-of-doors, I thought it was
-time to remonstrate on the subject; and my remonstrance had woke a
-certain womanly consciousness in the awkward-sensitive girlish bosom of
-Lizzie. She was overwhelmed with shame.
-
-Fortunately, the mention of the “twa” diverted Sara’s thoughts. She had
-never ceased to be interested in Mr. Luigi, and I saw a world of
-questions in her eye immediately. I hurried her downstairs, not feeling
-able, really, for random talk; and troubled, more than I could express,
-to think how disappointed Harry would be when he came home full of one
-subject, expecting to talk it over with me, and found me occupied
-entertaining a stranger,--a stranger, too, who had something to do with
-it, who was our rival, and plotting against us, all unaware of who we
-were.
-
-However, as it happened, one of the first things Sara’s eye lighted upon
-when we entered the room, was that old drawing of poor papa’s, which lay
-on the table. She was the quickest creature imaginable. She had it in
-her hand before I knew what she was about. Her exclamation made me start
-and tremble as if I had been found out in something. Here was another
-witness giving evidence freely, without any wish or contrivance of mine.
-
-“Why, here is the Park!” cried Sara, “actually the very house! Where, in
-all the world, did you get it? Have you been there? Do you know them?
-Why, I thought you were quite strangers to Chester! I never knew
-anything so odd. Who did it? It is frightfully bad, to be sure, but a
-staring likeness. Dear Mrs. Langham, where did you get this?”
-
-“I got it out of an old book,” said I, with a guilty faltering which I
-could not quite conceal. “What Park is it? where is it? I do not know
-the place.”
-
-But I am sure if ever anybody looked guilty and the possessor of an
-uncomfortable secret, it was me at that moment. I turned away from Sara,
-putting away that envelope with the certificates which Harry (how
-careless!) had also left on the table. I am sure she must have felt
-there was something odd in my voice.
-
-“What Park? why, _the_ Park, to be sure. Everybody in Chester knows the
-Park; and here is an inscription, I declare!” she cried, running with it
-to the window. “Oh, look here; do look here! It must have been some old
-lover of godmamma Sarah’s. I never saw anything so funny in my life.
-‘Sarah as I saw her last.’ Oh, Mrs. Langham! do come and look at this
-comical, delightful thing! Isn’t it famous? She’s as old--as old as any
-one’s grandmother. Who could it be? who could it possibly be?”
-
-“Did you say your godmother?” said I. This was another novel
-aggravation. Of course I had heard Sara speak of her godmothers; but,
-somehow, I had not identified them with the ladies who were expected to
-make her their heir.
-
-But Sara was too much excited and delighted, and full of glee and
-ridicule, to answer me. She kept dancing about and clapping her hands
-over the drawing; always returning to it, and indulging in criticisms as
-free and as depreciatory as Harry’s had been. It was getting dark, and I
-confess I was very glad to sit down a little in the half light, and
-repose myself as well as I could while she was thus engaged and wanted
-no attention from me. Just then, however, I heard Harry’s foot coming
-upstairs, and, to my great wonder and almost alarm, somebody else
-entered with Harry. I could scarcely see him as I rose to receive my
-husband’s companion. Somebody else, however, saw him quicker than I
-did. In a moment Sara had dropped into the shadow of the curtains, and
-became perfectly silent. An inconceivable kind of sympathy with her (it
-could be nothing but mesmerism) somehow cleared up the twilight in a
-moment, and made me aware who the stranger was. It was Domenico’s
-master, Mr. Luigi, the Italian gentleman downstairs.
-
-I cannot tell how the first preliminaries were got over. Of all times in
-the world to make acquaintance with anybody, think of the twilight, just
-before the candles came in, and when you could scarcely make out even
-the most familiar face! We got on somehow, however; we _three_--Sara
-sitting all the time dropt down, and nestling like a bird among the
-curtains, struck into the most unaccountable silence. I suppose she
-thought nobody saw her; whereas, on the contrary, Mr. Luigi, looking out
-of the darkness where he was sitting towards the window, saw the outline
-of her pretty head against a bit of green-blue sky as distinct as
-possible; and looked at it too, as I can testify.
-
-When candles came at last (Mrs. Goldsworthy had a lamp; but it smoked,
-and the chimney broke, and all sorts of things happened to it), after
-the first dazzled moment we all looked at each other. Then Sara became
-clearly visible, and was forced out of her corner to let the blind be
-drawn down. She came forward to the light at once, with just the least
-bravado in her manner, ashamed of hiding herself. She had still the
-drawing in her hand.
-
-“Mr. Langham,” said Sara, “do you know this wonderful drawing? I never
-was so amused and amazed in my life. Do you know it’s the Park? and my
-godmamma Sarah when she was a young lady and a great beauty. To think
-you should find it accidentally! And it must have been one of her old
-lovers who did it. Oh, please give it to me, and let me show it her. She
-would be pleased. She would soon find out whose it was.”
-
-Here Mr. Luigi, who had taken up one of those old books of my father’s,
-which Harry in his carelessness had left upon the table, uttered a very
-brief instantly suppressed exclamation. I wonder what _he_ could have
-discovered! It was the copy of Racine, which I have before mentioned as
-among papa’s books, on which was written the name of Sarah Mortimer.
-Sarah Mortimer! Here were we all strangers, or almost strangers, to each
-other, all apparently startled by the sound and sight of this name. What
-could the Italian have to do with Sarah Mortimer? she who broke poor
-papa’s heart, and whom we had found out so suddenly to-day?
-
-“This lady?” said Mr. Luigi, holding up the book to me with a slight
-tremulousness, “Madame will not think me impertinent; does she live?”
-
-“Indeed,” said I, with a shiver of agitation, “I cannot tell. I do not
-know anything about her; her name on that book and the drawing is all we
-know. I think she is a ghost. Do you too know her name? Sara, tell us,
-for pity’s sake, who is this Sarah Mortimer of the Park?”
-
-Sara stared at the book with still greater amazement than she had shown
-at the drawing. “She is my godmamma,” said the girl, in a disturbed,
-amazed tone. “She is Miss Mortimer of the Park. Since you all know her
-name, you all know that certainly. How is it you know her? why did you
-not tell me? Is there any mystery? it all seems very strange to me.”
-
-“Then it is that lady,” exclaimed Mr. Luigi--“it is that lady I did meet
-in the village.”
-
-“No,” said Sara, recovering herself in a moment; “you met my other
-godmamma, her sister. She told me she had met you. May I ask if you
-found the lady in Manchester? Godmamma was very much interested and
-anxious to know. Did you find her? have you heard where she is to be
-found?”
-
-Mr. Luigi looked at the book once more; then closed it down firmly with
-his hand; then gazed a little anxiously in Sara’s face. “Have I found
-the lady?” he repeated like an echo. “Mademoiselle, I do not know.”
-
-Then the Italian, as if with an instinctive motion, laid his other hand
-over the book, and clasped them both upon it as though to hold something
-fast. Then to my amazement and to Sara’s--but to something more than
-amazement on Sara’s part--something very much like pique and offence--he
-turned towards Harry and began to talk on indifferent matters. I had
-noticed a half-weary, half-impatient sigh escape him as he laid his
-hands over that book; but he showed no other symptom of emotion. The
-next moment he was talking in very good English, slightly, very
-slightly, broken with now and then a foreign idiom, something about
-public affairs. I confess I felt disappointed as well as Sara. He had
-recognised that name; somehow it was familiar to him; and his
-enigmatical answer had naturally stimulated our curiosity. He left us
-behind him staring and wondering, when he suddenly glided from the brink
-of some revelation to those quiet remarks upon English politics. Harry,
-full of his share of the common excitement, did not enter into it with
-half so much heart as Mr. Luigi. Harry blundered and was awkward, his
-thoughts being elsewhere. Mr. Luigi was quite undisturbed and at his
-ease. Sara scarcely spoke again while he remained; she did all but turn
-her back upon him; she showed her pique quite clearly enough to catch
-the quick eye of the Italian. Altogether he did not stay very long,
-thinking us, I daresay, rather an uncomfortable party; and Harry,
-disappointed, as I had expected, not to find me alone, and be able to
-hold a comfortable consultation, went downstairs with him to smoke a
-cigar.
-
-“Now they are gone,” cried Sara; “now the man in the iron mask has left
-us. I wonder if that is what one would call a romantic Italian? ah! I’d
-rather have fat Domenico. Now they’re gone, do tell me, once for all,
-what is godmamma Sarah to you?”
-
-“Nothing in the world that I know of,” said I, faltering a little; “we
-have only that drawing and her name in the old book.”
-
-“I know there is something between her and _him_,” said Sara, returning,
-to my great dismay to the other books on the table; “she knows about
-him, or he knows about her, or something. You know she was a long time
-abroad. What funny old books! Was it among those you found the drawing?
-But, stop, here is another Mortimer--Richard A. Mortimer--who is he?
-Papa has been their agent for centuries, and I have known them all my
-life, but I never heard of a Richard Mortimer. Do tell me, who was he?”
-
-“Indeed, it is all very odd,” cried I, really fluttered out of my
-self-possession. “I wonder what will come of it? It is very strange and
-bewildering. Richard Mortimer was my father.”
-
-“Then you are a relation!” cried Sara; “you must be a relation, there
-are so few Mortimers; and your father must have been her lover. Are you
-sure, are you quite sure? Why, _your_ name must be Mortimer too! and
-Milly! Mr. Langham calls you Milly--Milly Mortimer! Oh, dear, dear! I
-never can get to the Park to tell them to-night, and how shall I contain
-myself till to-morrow? I knew there must be something that made me love
-you so much at first sight. To be sure, that explains everything. Milly
-Mortimer! oh, you dear, pretty, good, delightful Mrs. Langham! I am so
-glad, so happy! They are my godmothers, and so to be sure we are
-relations too!”
-
-Upon which Sara threw her arms round me in a wild, rapid embrace. I was
-so very much shaken and disturbed with all that had happened, that I
-could scarcely bear this last. I remember using all my remaining power
-to convince her that the relationship was by no means certain still, and
-that it was not to be communicated to the ladies at the Park without
-further assurance. Sara, however, only overpowered me with caresses and
-exclamations. She entirely upset all the remaining strength I had. She
-kept us from that consultation which Harry and I were both so much
-longing for. She left us at last in terror lest we should be brought
-into immediate contact with those unknown relatives. This day of great
-news, excitement, and perplexity, was, I think, the most exhausted,
-uncomfortable day I ever met with in all my life.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-“It is the oddest business altogether that I had ever anything to do
-with,” said Harry, next morning; “one cannot tell what step to take
-first. My own idea, of course, is to call on this old Cresswell and get
-it all out of him. He evidently is the man who knows.”
-
-“Ah, but, Harry, if he is one of those scheming lawyers,” said I, “why
-should he go and betray his clients for people whom he never heard of
-before? and, besides, it would be impossible to tell him how we got
-information about it, for you could not speak of the advertisement
-without ruining poor Mr. Ward.”
-
-“Milly, I may be sorry enough for your poor Mr. Ward, but I am more
-interested a great deal in your rights,” said Harry; “besides, if
-everything came true we could make it up to him. I see nothing for it
-but going to old Cresswell. He will be glad--since he did think of an
-advertisement--to have such a rod of terror to hold over the heads of
-his old ladies; at all events we shall know what it is. It might come to
-nothing after all,” said Harry, with a little sigh, “and there is
-nothing more injurious than to be kept uncertain. Why, to tell the
-truth, I feel extravagant this morning: I got up with the feeling. I
-should like to go and ruin myself in accordance with the sentiment of
-the moment. If it’s all true, why should we be economical?--your
-grandfather’s red brick house on one side, and this Park on the other.
-We’re lucky people, Milly. I’ll either go and see old Cresswell and have
-it out with him, or I’ll go and throw away every shilling I have.”
-
-“Ah, Harry, give it to me,” I said, holding out my hands; “but I don’t
-believe you have any money, so it doesn’t matter. Only--just wait a
-little, please; don’t let us do things hastily. Think of thrusting our
-claims suddenly upon two old ladies who perhaps have enjoyed it all
-their life. Only think of us two, young and happy, disturbing the lives
-of two old people who are not so fortunate as we are! Not to-day; let us
-try to get other proof first. Try if Mr. Pendleton knows anything--write
-to Haworth again. At least, don’t let us be hasty; a day or two cannot
-matter; and I don’t trust this Mr. Cresswell,” cried I, with some
-vehemence. “He cannot be honest, or he would not have done such a
-thing.”
-
-Harry laughed at my earnestness. He said lawyer-villains had gone out of
-fashion, and that there were no Mr. Gammons now-a-days. The truth is, we
-had both been reading novels since we came to Chester, and I am not at
-all sure that Harry was as sceptical about Mr. Gammon as he professed to
-be. But, to my consolation, he went out without any definite purpose of
-beginning his proceedings. “I daresay old Cresswell is an old humbug,”
-said Harry. “I’ll see whether there is not some other old fellow about
-who is up to everybody’s genealogy; surely there ought to be some such
-person about the Cathedral. And I’ll write to Pendleton, Milly. To be
-sure, there is nothing to hurry us. ‘Let us take time, that we may be
-done the sooner.’ I’ll do nothing desperate to-day.”
-
-When he was gone I felt a little sense of relief. I sat long in the same
-chair, with the table still littered with the breakfast things,
-neglecting my duties and even baby. He had been brought downstairs
-before Harry went out, and was now sitting at my feet on the carpet,
-playing with my work-basket, which much contented him. I did not observe
-the havoc that was taking place, but sat still in a tumult of thoughts
-which I could not describe. I suppose nobody ever did come to a sudden
-knowledge--or even fancy--that they might be found out heirs of a great
-estate without feeling fluttered. I was half afraid of the thought, yet
-it had a strange, vague, bewildering exhilaration in it. Sometimes a
-trembling shadow would cross my mind of my old spectre; but it had faded
-again to-day into the agitation of surprised and trembling hopes. One
-does not always feel the same even about one’s own terrors. And, upon
-the whole, I felt raised into a kind of general elevation, thrust up
-above myself into another region, capable of being kinder, more liberal
-and magnanimous than I had ever felt before. I suppose it must have been
-the same feeling which Harry had when he said he felt extravagant. I
-could have emptied my purse to a beggar, I believe,--at least I could
-have found it in my heart to give him sixpence instead of a penny,--to
-such an extent had this vague, exhilarating _rich_ feeling carried me
-away.
-
-Lizzie looked a little mysterious when I called her at last. She was
-bursting with something to tell; and when I addressed some ordinary
-question to her, her news broke forth suddenly without any introduction.
-“Eh, the gentleman’s awa’ again,” cried Lizzie, “and he thinks she maun
-be found or heard tell o’--he thinks there _maun_ be word of her. The
-gentleman’s awa’ back where he was, to bring something he left, and
-‘Menico says, as sure’s death she maun be found.”
-
-“Who must be found?”
-
-“Eh, mem, it’s the leddy! They came a’ this gate, ower the hills and the
-seas, to find a leddy. I canna just understand wha she is,” said Lizzie,
-“but she’s some freend; and ‘Menico’s clear she maun be found now, and
-he’s dancing like to bring down the house for joy.”
-
-“But you don’t look very joyful, Lizzie; what is the matter?” said I.
-
-Lizzie made a desperate effort to restrain herself, but, failing, burst
-into violent tears. “Eh, he’s written me a letter!” cried the girl,
-sobbing; and then, with much fumbling, eyes blind with tears, and a face
-all glowing with shame, the letter came forth from the bosom of Lizzie’s
-dress, and was thrust into my hand.
-
-Alas for my self-congratulations over Lizzie’s childish age! Fourteen,
-after all, it appeared, was no safeguard. But I was as much amused as
-troubled when I undid Domenico’s letter. It was written on odd thin
-paper, in a very tolerable hand; it was addressed to _the_ Elizabeth
-Bain, and its contents were as follows:
-
- “To the my little good Lessee.
-
- “You be good child; if the lady yours will, I take you to the
- theatre after to-morrow, for gratitude. To me you show of bounty, I
- to you of thanks. There be grand sight at the theatre which will
- please to you. Show the Signora yours this letter mine, and ask if
- permission. It will much please to me to make festa for my little
- good Lessee. There be none word in English for festa, for because
- the English not know to make it.
-
-“DOMENICO.”
-
-
-
-“But, Lizzie,” cried I, in surprise, “there is nothing in this to cry
-about. He only means to be kind, poor fellow. There is not a word in all
-this that sounds like----”
-
-Love-making, I was about to have said, but paused, partly in respect for
-the innocence of the girl, and partly ashamed of myself for my
-instinctive suspicion that flirtation was inevitable when “a foreigner,”
-however fat, was in the case. Lizzy had wiped her eyes and was looking
-at me wistfully, quite ready to sob again.
-
-“Oh, it’s no him,” cried Lizzie; “he’s a papist, puir man, and he
-doesna ken ony better. But oh, mem, it’s me--me that was weel brought
-up, and learned the catechism and ay gaed to the kirk; and what will I
-do? what will I do?”
-
-“For pity’s sake, Lizzie, tell me what is the matter?” cried I, really
-alarmed.
-
-Lizzie burst into tears once more. She wiped her eyes with her apron,
-with hot and humid hands; then, casting a pathetic glance at me from
-under the drapery, sobbed forth the dreadful confession, “Oh, mem!
-though I think burning shame, and ken it’s dreadful, I canna help it--I
-would like to gang!”
-
-This anti-climax was too much for my gravity, and Lizzie looked on with
-moist, uncomprehending eyes at the burst of laughter which I could not
-restrain. Poor Lizzie! I have no doubt she thought me very heartless
-neither to satisfy her guilty desires after such vanities, nor her
-scruples of conscience and violent shame at her own weakness. Baby,
-however, was more sympathetic. Seeing his beloved Lizzie in tears, a
-fellow-feeling made him scream in concert. _He_ had to be consoled,
-though his nurse went away wistful, trembling lest I should consent, and
-lest I should not consent. But privately I confess I was very much
-relieved and not a little ashamed of myself. To think I should have
-suspected any absurd love-making between these two! I felt ready to go
-and ask poor Lizzie’s pardon. But why should not she go to the theatre
-and satisfy her mind? Domenico could not be less than twenty years older
-than herself. On the whole, this little episode quite increased the
-lightness of my spirits. The day was bright, the spring was every hour
-becoming more sweet, and as I sat there by myself with my child in the
-little back-room, noting the sunshine, which did not reach us, fall
-sweet upon the little walled-in gardens at the back, a sudden project
-which had already glanced through my mind, became feasible on the
-moment. Yes, I should do it. Lizzie and the baby, for a breath of
-country air, should go with me. By actual witness of my own eyes I would
-identify the Park.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-The next day Harry had duties of one sort and another, which would
-completely occupy his time. He had not found any student of genealogy
-who could tell him all about the Mortimers of the Park; but he had heard
-of one, and, between that and his duty, was full engaged both in person
-and thoughts. A better opportunity could not be. I told him I thought of
-taking a long walk into the country with Lizzie and baby this beautiful
-day; and, except a warning not to go too far and weary myself, Harry had
-nothing to say against my intention. I may say, however, that in the
-meantime, having consulted with him on the subject, I had plunged
-Lizzie’s mind into the most dread commotion of terror, delight, and
-curiosity, by consenting to Domenico’s proposal, only adding Mrs.
-Goldsworthy to the party, to make all right.
-
-And it was true that Mr. Luigi had disappeared again; he was only to be
-three days gone, Domenico assured us, holding up three of his fingers.
-“Tree sola, tree only,” repeated the fat fellow once more, blocking up
-the passage as of old; and once more, with that inimitable wheel and
-elastic step of his, opening the door before any one could approach it.
-I could not help wondering to myself whether the Italian gentleman was
-likely to leave Chester before we did; certainly the loss of Domenico
-would make quite a difference in the house. I had not thought quite so
-much as I might have been supposed to have done about this Italian
-gentleman. He too had recognised the name of Sarah Mortimer as having
-some influence on his fate. He had left early next morning, as if acting
-upon the knowledge he had gained, whatever that might be. It was very
-strange; afterwards, of course, I came to lay everything together, and
-wonder at myself that I had not seen how things were tending. But at the
-moment I was full of my own thoughts; they seemed so very much more
-important to me just then than anything else. I dismissed Mr. Luigi with
-just half a thought of surprise and curiosity; I dare say Sara Cresswell
-had thought more of him. And Sara had not come to me through all that
-long intervening day. Could she have gone to the Park to tell the news?
-would they acknowledge or pretend to disown us? That was a question far
-more interesting to me than all the Italians in the world.
-
-The private object of my expedition, however, was one I was truly
-ashamed to mention to anybody; but, for all that, it had taken a great
-hold upon myself. I have said I had been reading novels; and the very
-last one we had from the library was “Ten Thousand a Year.” It struck
-upon my mind even at the very moment when poor Mr. Ward had told me
-first. Those dear, good, delightful, fine, superfine Aubreys! to think
-of all their sufferings, the poor dear superlative people--how
-dreadfully they felt it to have only a _maid_ waiting at table! Oh me!
-and only to think that here might we ourselves be bringing about such
-another calamity! Of course you may think it was very fantastical. I do
-confess that the dreadful downfall of having only a _maid_ to wait,
-seemed to me, at first sight, the most _fine_ distress I had ever heard
-of; but it took a hold upon my mind all the same; I could not help
-imagining to myself the other side of the picture. It was very pleasant
-to think of falling heirs to a great estate, and being lifted in a
-moment from poverty into great wealth; but who were those two pathetic
-figures turning away from the closed door of the house which had been
-their home so long, mournfully settling down in their new straitened
-quarters, breaking up all the habits of their lives, missing somehow in
-an unspoken way, that it would be ludicrous to express in words, but was
-far from ludicrous to feel, all the grander circumstances of their life?
-Ah! that was quite a different question. I thought I could see them
-sighing over their contracted rooms, their fallen state--not speaking,
-falling silent rather, life going out and ebbing away from them. I saw
-the two pale old lofty faces, the pride, the submission, the deep sense
-of downfall concealed in their hearts, and I felt myself stopped short
-in my way. Those ineffable Aubreys, those figures painted on velvet,
-those dear porcelain creatures, with their exquisite troubles, had an
-effect upon my imagination, even though I might venture to smile at them
-sometimes. Superfine people, to be sure, must have superfine
-afflictions; and to think of being a Tittlebat Titmouse, and driving out
-such angels from their paradise into the cold-hearted, unsympathetic
-world, that cared no more whether they had a six-foot footman and a
-carriage, than it cared about myself, a subaltern’s poor wife, driving
-out of Chester in an omnibus! So this was the real cause of my journey.
-I went remorsefully, thinking all the way how Mrs. Aubrey swooned at
-all emergencies. I wonder, when they heard the dreadful power we had
-over them, would Miss Sarah and Miss Milly swoon in each other’s arms? I
-could see them going about, stricken silent, afraid to look at each
-other; and it would be all _our_ doing. Remorseful to my very heart, I
-went to visit their village and ask about them, and see the house if I
-could. Perhaps some arrangement might be made, after all, to prevent any
-loss to these poor dear old ladies. I felt as if I could have done
-anything for them, my heart was so compunctious and repentant of the
-power we had to do them harm. I am not sure my great magnanimousness did
-not have a root in what Harry called _feeling extravagant_, as well as
-in “Ten Thousand a Year.”
-
-We went out a considerable part of the way in an omnibus, and then
-walked. After a good long walk through a nice country, we saw a pretty
-common a little way before us: I call it pretty because some parts of it
-were very unequal and broken, having gorse bushes, with here and there a
-golden honey-bud among the prickles. To get to the common, we crossed
-over a very clean, nicely kept piece of road, straight and smooth,
-leading down to the village from the gates of a great house. The house
-was too far off to make it out, but I felt my heart beat a little,
-knowing, from the description I had got, that it could be no other than
-the Park.
-
-I left Lizzie and her charge seated on the soft grass of the common,
-where baby, who had never before known anything so delightful, began to
-pluck at the crowflowers with his fat hands; and went down into the
-village to buy them some biscuits. I confess I felt very guilty. Going
-anywhere all by myself confused me, not being accustomed to it; but I
-was not an innocent stranger here; I was a spy in my rival’s kingdom; I
-was a Bolingbroke pretending to acknowledge the sway of the existing
-sovereign: I was going to traffic with his subjects and tamper with
-them. If the village authorities had found me out, and held a
-court-martial and hanged me on the spot, I think I should have
-acknowledged the justice of their decision. I was a spy.
-
-It was a nice village--a nice, well cared-for, tidy, yet not too
-picturesque or unnatural village; looking as if the richer people about
-were friendly and sensible, not interfering too much, but keeping up a
-due reverence and influence. Some tall bushes of broom were actually
-bursting into yellow streaks over the garden palings--not wall--of a
-house standing back a little, which I found out to be the Rectory. It
-must have been very sheltered and warm, for it was still only April.
-However, though I was full of curiosity, my mind was not sufficiently
-disengaged to carry away a clear picture of the village; and when the
-women looked out from the doors at me with an instinct that a stranger
-was passing, I felt more guilty than ever. I made my way accordingly to
-the baker’s as fast as I could, and got some dark-complexioned ponderous
-buns there, which I felt sure would rouse Lizzie’s national sense of
-superiority to great triumph. Then I made a tremulous excuse of wanting
-some biscuits besides, and so got a little time to bring forward the
-questions I had prepared.
-
-“Who is it that lives in the great house at the other end of the
-village?” said I hypocritically, pointing with my finger towards the
-Park.
-
-“Who is it?” said the baker’s wife, leaning on her counter with a
-certain contempt and admiration of my ignorance; “law bless you, ma’am,
-you don’t know this place, seemingly. Them’s the Miss Mortimers, the
-oldest family in Cheshire. They’re as well known as the Queen about
-here.”
-
-“I am a stranger,” said I hurriedly. “Are they ladies--I mean are they
-young ladies? were there no sons?”
-
-The baker’s wife leaned back upon a sack of flour, and laughed. “Miss
-Milly’s godmoother to half the village,” she said; “she’s none that
-young, she’s isn’t. No, there wasn’t no son. I’ve heard my mother say
-there was once talk of making Miss Mortimer an ouldest son like, but it
-couldn’t be done. They’re cooheiresses, that’s what it’s ca’ed--I’ve
-seen it written down myself--cooheiresses of the late Lewis Esquire;
-that’s the name it goes by; and as they ain’t married it’s no harm.”
-
-“Did they succeed their father, then?” said I.
-
-“And that they did,” cried the woman, “and their father’s father, and
-grandfather, and great-grandfather, as far back as I don’t know when;
-they’re no mushroom folks, the folks in the Park.”
-
-I felt very much puzzled and perplexed; how could my father, then, have
-anything to do with it? It was very strange.
-
-“But I suppose the lands were entailed, then, or something of that sort.
-Was there never another heir that claimed? I think you must be wrong,”
-said I, betraying myself in my wonder and haste.
-
-The baker’s wife opened her eyes wide and stared; then laughed out
-rather scornfully--politeness is not the first rule either of life or
-speech in Cheshire.
-
-“I’ve lived here in the village all my life,” she said; “if I don’t
-know, I’d like to hear who should. Nay, nay, there never was a dream of
-another heir; they’re surer nor most folks are the Miss Mortimers. There
-ain’t scarce one living belonging to them to get it when they’re gone. I
-tell you what it is, it’s a mistake. You’re thinking on Eden Hall.”
-
-“Oh!” said I, “perhaps! I am a stranger here.”
-
-“Sure you’re strange,” said the baker’s wife; “any one in the village
-could tell that. Ne’er a one asked such questions o’ me--nor any
-questions at all, but the price of bread, and how the crops are to be,
-except that Frenchman with the moustache. You’re not belonging to him,
-are you? You’re English by your speech.”
-
-“Oh yes, I’m English,” cried I, not without a vague momentary vision of
-the village court-martial, and being hung up for a spy. “I will take my
-change, please.”
-
-And I took my change, and went away with quickened steps but changed
-feelings. I had not the heart to speak to anybody else. I passed old
-women at the doors, who, no doubt, could have told something about it;
-but I did not venture to make any more inquiries. I was completely lost
-in perplexity. The undisputed representatives of a race, the heirs of
-father, grandfather, and great-grandfather to unknown antiquity--what
-could be urged against their possession? I was startled into sudden
-doubt of the whole matter. What if it were all a deception? The very
-pathway swam and twisted under my eyes. When I reached the common, and
-threw myself wearily on the grass beside little Harry and his maid, I
-felt quite a different person from her who had left them there. I gave
-Lizzie the coarse buns, but I did not listen to the comments which came
-as I knew they would. I was far too much bewildered and shaken out of my
-fancies to be amused. After I had rested awhile, I got up, and, taking
-them with me, went up, rather faltering, to the gates of the Park. A
-little lodge, half hidden among evergreen bushes, was at the gate. I
-went forward, Lizzie following me close, to ask if we might be permitted
-to look at the house.
-
-But, just as I was going up to the door, I was accosted by a lady who
-came hurriedly forward by a side-path. She held out her hand to stop us
-before she came up, and full of fanciful alarm as I was, I stopped,
-startled, with again the sensation of having been found out. She was
-middle-sized and stout, with a plump, handsome figure and sensible, kind
-face--very sensible, very kind, not brilliant at all; and, I think, with
-as much perplexed thought and anxiety upon it, as there was on mine.
-
-“Don’t go into the lodge with the baby, please,” she cried, as soon as
-she was near; “the little girl has the hooping-cough. It’s always best
-to keep out of the way of danger. If I can tell you what you want, shall
-be very glad. I see you’re a stranger; or if you want to see Mrs.
-Williams, send away the baby, please. Hooping-cough’s very catching, and
-it’s hard upon such a young child.”
-
-This voice and this speech completely overpowered me. I could not doubt
-for a moment that this was one of the Miss Mortimers. I was no longer a
-mere spy; I was an unnatural traitor. I motioned Lizzie with my hand to
-go away, but stood still speechless myself, the tears rising to my eyes.
-The lady stood waiting to see what I wanted, but discovering my
-distress, as some people can, came a little closer to me. “Are you ill?
-can I help you in anything?” she said, looking very pitifully and kindly
-into my wet eyes.
-
-“No, thank you. I was going to ask if I might look at the Park; but I
-must make haste after baby,” I cried. I had the impulse to curtsey to
-her as children do; for anything I know I did it. The only thing that I
-am certain of is, that as fast as my feet would carry me, I hastened
-away.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-We were able to get the same omnibus going home, which I was very glad
-of, for the strange defeat I had received made me feel doubly weary with
-the walk, which, after all, had not been a very long one. There was only
-one person in this omnibus, which was not a town omnibus, you know, but
-one which went between Chester and an important village, seven or eight
-miles off. He was an elderly man, very well dressed in black, with a
-white cravat. To tell the plain truth, I took him for a dissenting
-preacher by his dress; and as he looked very serious and respectable,
-and was very polite in helping us to get in, we had some little
-conversation after a while. When he saw me look at the houses we passed
-with an appearance of interest, he told me the names of them, or who
-they belonged to. He was exceedingly polite and deferential, so polite
-that he called me ma’am, which sounded odd; but I could only suppose he
-was an old-fashioned person and liked such antiquated ways of
-expression. I confess a suspicion of his real condition never crossed my
-mind. But he evidently knew everybody, and after a while my prevailing
-idea woke up again.
-
-“Do you know,” said I, with a little hesitation, “the family at the
-Park--the Miss Mortimers? I should very much like to hear something
-about them.”
-
-“There’s nobody I know better, ma’am,” said our companion with a slight
-look of surprise; “I’ve been with--that is, I’ve known ’em this fifty
-years.”
-
-“Oh, then will you please tell me how they succeeded?” said I; “how did
-they come into the estate?”
-
-“How they succeeded?” said the stranger, with a certain slow wonder and
-amazement; “why, ma’am, in the natural way, after their father as was
-Squire before them.”
-
-Here I could not help thinking to myself that the dissenting clergy must
-be dreadfully uneducated, if this were one of them.
-
-“But was there never any gap in the succession?” said I; “has it been in
-a straight line? has there been no break lately--no branch of the family
-passed over?”
-
-“Bless you, ma’am, you don’t know the Mortimers,” said our friend;
-“there’s never enough of them to make branches of the family. There was
-a second cousin the young ladies had a many years ago, but I never heard
-of no more of them, and he was distant like, and had no more thoughts of
-succession than I had. If that gen’lman was alive or had a family,
-things might be different now.”
-
-“How do you mean things might be different now?” cried I.
-
-“The ladies, ma’am, has never married,” said the man, who certainly
-could not be more than a Methodist local preacher at the utmost, “and,
-in the course of nature, there can’t be no natural heir.”
-
-This view of the subject, however, was one totally unsatisfactory to me.
-“Are you sure,” said I, “that there never was any other heir spoken
-of--that there never was any story about the succession--that there was
-never anybody to dispute it with the Miss Mortimers? I thought I had
-heard some such story about----”
-
-“Ah, you’re thinking, ma’am, of Eden Hall, just the next property,” said
-he.
-
-“But was there never any claimant to the Park?” asked I, somewhat
-excited.
-
-“No such thing,” said the man in black, “nor couldn’t be. Bless you, the
-family’s well known. There never was so much as a will-case, as I ever
-heard on; for why, you see, ma’am, there never was such a plenty of
-children to make quarrels. When there’s but two or so, there’s little
-can come of quarrelling. No, no! there never was no strange claimant to
-our estate.”
-
-“To _your_ estate, did you say?” cried I, in amazement.
-
-“No, ma’am, no--no such presumption. I said _our_, and sure I might;
-I’ve been with the ladies this fifty year.”
-
-“Oh!” I exclaimed, much dismayed. This was certainly coming to the very
-head-quarters for information. This was no local preacher after all, but
-only the Miss Mortimers’ majordomo. If there had been any possible
-excuse for it, I should certainly have got out of the omnibus
-immediately, so utterly confounded and taken aback did I feel. But as we
-were still some two miles out of Chester, and we were all tired, and
-baby cross and sleepy, I had to think better of it. However, in my
-consternation I fell into instant silence, and felt really afraid of
-meeting the man’s eye. He sat opposite me, beside Lizzie, very
-respectful and quiet, and by no means obtruding himself upon my notice.
-I cannot tell how shocked and affronted and angry I felt with myself. I
-had, I suppose, like most people of my condition, a sort of horror of
-men-servants, a sort of resentful humiliation in feeling that I had
-mistaken one of that class for an ordinary fellow-traveller, a
-frightened idea of what Harry would think to hear of his wife sitting in
-an omnibus beside Miss Mortimer’s man. Altogether I was sadly
-discomfited and beaten. The Miss Mortimers had got the better of me at
-every hand; and I was entirely humiliated and cast down by this last
-blow of all.
-
-The interval was quite tedious and oppressive till we arrived in
-Chester. Seeing me look at another house unconsciously as we passed, the
-man, most kindly and good-humouredly, I am sure, after my sudden
-withdrawal from the conversation, mentioned its name. “That is
-Dee-sands, ma’am, the mayor o’ Chester’s place. It ain’t within sight of
-the Dee, and there’s none of them sands near here, but they do say it’s
-named after a song,” said the good-natured cicerone. “Oh!” said I again,
-shrinking back into my corner. He looked at me rather closely after
-this, muttering something that sounded like “No offence!” and leaned
-back also, a little affronted. It did not occur to me that I was only
-drawing his attention to what I had said before by this sudden reserve.
-I took care to show no more interest in the wayside villas, and sprang
-out with a great sense of relief when we reached the end of our journey.
-Happening to glance back when I had reached our own door, I saw that the
-omnibus had been delayed by numerous descents from the roof, and was
-still standing where we had left it, and that Miss Mortimer’s man had
-put his head out of one of the windows, and was watching where I went
-to. This circumstance made me enter with great haste and trepidation.
-Now, above all, I had been found out; and if ever any one felt like a
-traitor and a spy, it was surely me, stumbling back from that
-unsuccessful enterprise across the threshold of Mrs. Goldsworthy’s
-house.
-
-The door was opened to us too alertly to be done by anybody but
-Domenico; and it was Domenico accordingly, in his vast expanse of shirt
-sleeves. It was quite a comfort to see his beaming, unconscious face.
-“The time is fine,” said Domenico; “it pleases to the signora to make
-promenade? Ah, bravo! the piccolo signore grow like tree.”
-
-This was in reference to baby, who crowed at him and held out his arms,
-and whom Domenico freely called piccolo and piccolino, at first somewhat
-to my indignation; but I confess the good fellow’s voice and looks, and
-the way baby stretched out to him, out of poor Lizzie’s tired arms, was
-quite consolatory and refreshing to me. It is easy to get a feeling of
-home to a place, surely. It was only lodgings, and Domenico was a
-foreigner, and I had not the ghost of an early association with the
-little insignificant house; but I cannot tell you what a sense of ease
-and protection came upon me the very moment I was within the door.
-
-Upstairs on the table lay a letter. We got so few letters that I was
-surprised, and took it up immediately, and with still greater surprise
-found it to be from Sara Cresswell, lamenting over not having found me,
-wondering where I could have gone, and concluding with a solemn
-invitation to dinner in her father’s name. “Papa is so anxious to see
-Mr. Langham and you,” wrote Sara, “and to talk over things. I have been
-obliged to obey him for once, and not to go or write out to dear
-godmamma till he has seen you. If you don’t come he will be so
-dreadfully disappointed; indeed, I am quite sure if you don’t come _he
-will go to see you_. I can’t suppose you will be able to resist such a
-threat as that. Send me a word, please, directly. I shall be quite
-wretched till I know.”
-
-This revived all my excitement, as may be supposed; there _must_ be
-something in it after all, and surely, instead of Harry going to his
-office to seek him, it would be much better to meet at his house, and
-with an evening’s leisure too; for Sara had taken care to add that
-nobody else was to be there. The earnestness of this invitation seemed
-so entirely contradictory to all that I had heard to-day, that the
-wildest vague suspicions of mystery began to break upon my mind. To be
-sure, bakers and butlers were not likely to be in the secret. Mr.
-Cresswell knew all about it; and here was he seeking us entirely of his
-own accord! Once more all my dazzled ambitious dreams came back again; I
-forgot my failure and sense of treachery--I was no traitor--it was only
-my rights that I had been thinking of; and they were not pathetic
-possible victims, but triumphant usurpers, who now had possession of the
-Park.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-I had managed to regain my spirits entirely before Harry returned: if
-anything, indeed, I think this revival of all my fancies, after my
-disappointment and annoyance, had stimulated me more than before. It was
-a beautiful April evening, quite warm and summer-like, and there had
-just been such a sunset, visible out of the front windows, as would have
-gone far at any time to reconcile me to things in general. I was sitting
-in the little drawing-room alone, with baby Harry in my lap, much
-delighted to find that he could stand by my side for half a minute all
-by himself, and rewarding him with kisses for the exhibition of that
-accomplishment. I was tired after my long walk, and felt it delicious
-rest to lean back in that chair and watch the light gradually fading out
-of the sky, free to think my own thoughts, yet always with the sweet
-accompaniment of baby’s inarticulate little syllables, and touches of
-his soft small fingers. I remember that moment like a moment detached
-out of my life. My heart had rebounded higher out of its despondency.
-Who could tell what a bright future that might be on the very brink of
-which we trembled? And I, whom Harry had married so foolishly, it was I
-who was to bring this wealth to my husband and my child. It was pleasant
-thinking in that stir of hope, in that calm of evening, sitting
-listening for Harry’s step on the stair. The light grew less and less in
-the two front windows, and the open door of communication between the
-two rooms brought in a long line of grey luminous sky from the east into
-my twilight picture. And I had so much to tell Harry. Ah, there at last
-was his foot upon the stair!
-
-He came in, not to the room in which I was, but to the other, and gave a
-glance round to see if I was there; then, not seeing me, instead of
-calling out for “Milly darling,” as he always did, Harry threw his cap
-on the table, and dropped heavily into a chair, with a long sigh--a
-strange sigh, half relieved, half impatient--the sigh of something on
-his mind. I can see the half-open door, the long gleam of the eastern
-window, the scarcely visible figure dropped into that chair--I can see
-them all as clearly as at that moment. I stumbled up unawares, gathered
-baby into my arms I cannot tell how, and was at his side in a moment. My
-own voice sounded foreign to my ears as I cried out, “Harry, what is it?
-tell me!” Nothing else would come from my lips.
-
-He rose too--the attitude of rest was not possible at such a time; he
-came and held the child and me close to him, making me lean on him. “It
-is nothing more than we expected,” he said, “Milly darling. It is only
-to have a heart--you are a soldier’s wife.”
-
-I knew without any more words. I stood within his arm, silent,
-desperate, holding my dear frightened baby tight, too tight. Ah, God
-help us! In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, as the Bible says, out
-of the happiest flutter of hope into that cold, desperate, hopeless
-darkness. I could have fancied I was standing on a battlefield, with the
-cold, cold wind blowing over us. I made no outcry or appeal; my heart
-only leaped with a start of agony at the worst, at the last conclusion.
-We were not within his sheltering arm--he young, and strong, and
-safe--but looking for him--looking for him on that black, dead
-battlefield!
-
-I don’t think it was the cry of the child, whom he took softly out of my
-straining arms, but Harry’s compassion that roused me. I cried out
-sharply, “Don’t pity me, Harry; I’ll bear it.” It was all I could say. I
-went out of his arm with agitated, hurried step, and shut out that cruel
-clear sky looking down upon the battlefield I saw. I did not think nor
-notice that this unseasonable action threw us into perfect darkness. It
-was a kind of physical relief to me to do something with my hands, to
-ring some common sound into my ears. At this moment Lizzie came into the
-room, carrying lights. As I lifted my confused eyes to them, what a
-ghastly change had passed on this room--all so cold, dark, miserable;
-the furniture thrust about out of its place; the fireplace dark, and
-Harry standing there, with the child in his arms and his cap thrown on
-the table, as if this very moment he was going away. He was in uniform
-too, and the light caught in the glitter of his sword. Was there to be
-no interval? My head swam round. My heart seemed to stop beating. The
-misery of imagination drove me half frantic--as if the present real
-misery had not been enough.
-
-After a while we sat together once more as usual, he trying to bring me
-to talk about it and receive it like a common event. “It is what we have
-looked forward to for months,” said Harry; “it should not be strange to
-you now. Think how you looked for it, Milly darling, long ago.”
-
-“Yes,” said I. Was it likely I could talk? I only rocked myself backward
-and forward in my chair.
-
-“You said God would give you strength when the hour came: the hour has
-come, Milly. You are a soldier’s wife!” he said.
-
-“Yes, yes!” and then I burst into an attempt to tell him what I had been
-doing--if I must talk let me talk of something else than this--and broke
-down, and fell, God help me! to crying and sobbing like a child; which
-was how the good Lord gave me the power of bearing what He had sent. I
-got better after that; I heard and listened to it all, every detail,
-when they would have to go, where they would sail from,--everything. And
-then I grew to see by degrees that Harry, but for me, was not sorry to
-be sent to the war; that his eye was brightening, his head raised erect.
-Oh me! he was a soldier; and I--I was only a foolish creature that could
-not follow him or be with him, that could not come between him and those
-bullets, that could only stay at home and pray.
-
-But when he came and stroked my hair down with his hand, and soothed me
-like a child, and bent over me with such compassion in his face--sorry
-for me, full of pity in his affectionate tender heart for the poor girl
-he was leaving behind--that was more than I could bear. With a dreadful
-pang I thought it was his widow he saw, all lonely and desolate, with no
-one to comfort her; and I, his wife, thrust him away, and defied that
-dreadful killing thought. No! _I_ might leap at the worst, because I
-could not help my hurrying, blind imagination; but he should not, no one
-else should--I was resolute of that. So we talked of all the things that
-were needful for his preparation; and he spoke of expense and economy,
-and I laughed and scorned his talk. Economy! expense! Perhaps I did not
-know, could not think where it was to come from; but where careless
-money can get everything, do you think careful love would fall far
-short? I took courage to laugh at his words.
-
-And then I told him all my day’s trials, and that invitation for the
-next day, which, even after what had happened, we must still accept. We
-did not have baby downstairs again that night--I dared not--courage will
-go so far, but not further. I went upstairs to put him into his little
-bed, and was glad, God help me! to be out of Harry’s sight for half an
-hour. But still I was not free; Lizzie was about me, gliding here and
-there with her inquisitive sharp eyes--sharp eyes all the sharper for
-tears, praying and threatening me with her looks. Nobody would believe
-in my courage. They thought I should break down and die. Oh me! if one
-could die when one pleased, one might sometimes make short work of it;
-God does not give us that coward’s refuge. When I was all alone in my
-own room, I took an old regimental sash of Harry’s and bound it round me
-tight. I cannot tell why I did it; I think it was in my fancy somehow to
-bind up my heart, that it should neither yield nor fail.
-
-
-
-
-PART V.
-
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL.
-
-(_Continued._)
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-Some weeks of quietness passed over us after these dreadful
-half-revelations which really disclosed nothing. I will not attempt to
-give you any explanation of my state of mind; I don’t think I could if I
-tried. I had ceased to think of insanity in respect to my sister Sarah;
-she was not insane--no such thing. That scrap of conversation I had
-overheard in her dressing-room overturned all my delusions. Some real
-thing, some real person, had power to drive her half mad with anxiety
-and fear. What she could be anxious about--what she could be afraid
-of--she who had lived in the deadest peace at home for nearly
-five-and-twenty years--was to me an inscrutable mystery. But that this
-Italian stranger was no stranger--that his name was given him after the
-name of my father--that love, supposed by Carson to be love in the
-heart, and admitted by Sarah to be love for the estate, had suggested
-that name--were facts not to be doubted. I need not say anything about
-the long trains of agitated and confused thinking into which these
-discoveries betrayed me. They ended in nothing--they could not end in
-anything. But for a kind of determination I had, to keep up stedfastly
-till some light came, and see the end of it, I don’t doubt they would
-have made me ill. But I kept well in spite of them. Either our bodies
-are not so sensitive as they are said to be, or I am a very stupid
-person, which I wouldn’t deny if I was taxed with it; for certainly
-many things that worry other people don’t trouble me very much. However,
-let the reason be what it might, I kept up. I could not take any
-comfort, as Sarah did, in knowing this young man had gone away. I can’t
-tell how she could have blinded herself, poor soul. _I_ knew he would
-come back. She did not seem to think so; yet surely she knew all about
-it far better than I did. What a strange blank, unexplainable mystery it
-was! Judging by appearances, the young man could not be much more than
-born when she returned home. Yet _she knew him_. Incomprehensible, wild,
-mad idea, of which, even after all I had heard, my reason denied the
-possibility! _She knew him!_ and what or who, except herself, could
-explain it?
-
-The only conclusion I could come to in all my pondering was one that had
-glanced into my mind before, that my father had married abroad and had a
-son, whom Sarah had somehow stormed or threatened him into disowning.
-But then my father was--I grieve to say it, but one must tell the
-truth--a man who considered his own will and pleasure much more than
-anything else in the world; and I don’t think it would have broken his
-heart to have turned us out of our heiress-honours, especially when we
-grew old and did not marry. And to have left a male heir behind him! It
-was a very unlikely story, to be sure; but certainly Sarah and he were
-never friends after their return. They avoided each other, though they
-lived under the same roof. They treated each other with a kind of
-ceremonious politeness, more like mutual dislike than love. Dear, dear,
-to think in a quiet English family how such a dark secret could rise and
-grow! I set to hunting up all my father’s letters, not those he had
-written to me at home, for he never wrote except when he was obliged,
-but his own letters which he had left behind him. I could find nothing
-there that threw the slightest light upon the mystery. And then, if he
-was my father’s son, what could the young Italian mean by seeking after
-this fabulous lady? What had the Countess _Sermoneta_ to do with it? On
-the whole, anybody will see that I ended my investigations and
-reasonings just where I began them. I knew nothing about it--I could
-discover nothing. I had only to wait for the storm that was
-returning--that must return. And if--oh, dear, to think of such a
-thing!--if it was the miserable wealth we had, that prompted Sarah to
-set her face against this stranger--if it were to keep possession of the
-estate from him who was its lawful owner, thank Heaven! we were
-co-heiresses. She thought she could do as she pleased with the Park, and
-I dare say, in right and lawful things, I might have yielded to her;
-but I hope Millicent Mortimer was never the woman to keep what did not
-belong to her. If he had a title to the estate--Heaven knows how he
-could--I gave up trying to imagine;--but if he had, without either
-resistance or struggle he should have my share.
-
-I really could not tell how much time had passed from that day when Sara
-Cresswell left us. It was near the end of April, so I suppose it must
-have been about two months after, when the accident I am going to tell
-happened. One afternoon when I was in the shrubbery I saw a young lady
-coming up towards the gate, a young creature, pretty and
-fair-complexioned, not tall, but very compact and orderly in her looks,
-with the air of being a handy, cheerful little woman, and good for most
-things she required to do. That was how she struck me, at all events. I
-dare say many people would have said she was just a very pretty girl,
-evidently sobered down by an early marriage, for she had an odd
-nursemaid by her side, carrying a beautiful baby. This stranger caught
-her attention very much as I watched her through the tall evergreen
-bushes. There was no mystery about _her_, certainly. I took a liking for
-her all of a sudden. Somehow it flashed into my mind that if I had ever
-been so young and as happy I might have been just such a young woman
-myself. I don’t mean so pretty, but the same kind of creature. She was
-not rich, it was clear, for the nursemaid was not much more than a
-child, an odd, awkward-looking girl; and though the young mother herself
-was sufficiently well-dressed, her things had that indescribable
-home-made look which one always recognises. She was a little heated with
-walking, and had some very grave wrinkles of care, thoughtfulness, and
-even anxiety, upon her pretty smooth forehead. I saw her aiming straight
-at the door of the lodge, and hastened out to warn her off. She was
-certainly a stranger, and could never know that the hooping-cough was in
-the house. She took my warning very oddly, looked at me with great
-curiosity and with tears--I am sure I saw them coming into her eyes--and
-then, with some half-explanation about wishing to see the Park, hurried
-away after her lovely little boy. I don’t know how long I stood, like a
-fool, looking after them, with a great desire to call her back and ask
-her in to see the house. Very likely she had come out from Chester to
-give her baby a country walk. Pretty young soul! I had no more doubt she
-was a good little wife than that she was a pretty creature, and very
-young to be that child’s mother. I daresay she was tired and would have
-been much the better for a rest. But while I stood thinking of it, of
-course she was gone far out of the range of my voice. As for running
-after her, that was out of the question at my age; and perhaps, after
-all, it was as well not to bring that lovely baby near the lodge. Mary
-might have rushed out, and the mischief might have been done in a
-moment. As for hooping-cough itself, when children have good
-constitutions, I can’t say it is a thing I am very timid about; but it
-goes very hard with infants, and one could never excuse one’s-self for
-putting such a child in peril. So I went back to the house, though
-rather slowly. I can’t tell how it was, I am sure,--but I felt just as
-if I had missed a visit from a friend whom it would have been a great
-comfort to see.
-
-I might have forgotten this little incident altogether, but for
-something that happened afterwards. Ellis had to go into Chester that
-day--indeed, he had just left a few minutes before my pretty young
-stranger came up. When Ellis came back he took an opportunity of
-speaking privately to me--indeed, he asked me to step aside into the
-hall for a minute. How he found out that there was any uneasiness in my
-mind, or that any doubt about our right to the estate had ever occurred
-to me, I cannot tell; there are few things more wonderful than the kind
-of instinct by which servants divine the storms which may be only
-brooding about a house. Ellis looked very grave and important; but as he
-always does so, I was noways alarmed.
-
-“There was a young lady, ma’am,” said Ellis, “rode in the omnibus along
-with me this afternoon; well, not perhaps what you might call a _real_
-lady neither; leastways I don’t know--her looks was all in her favour;
-but ladies, as you know, ma’am, don’t go riding in an omnibus with bits
-of nursegirls and babies. But I don’t say she was one of your common
-sort.”
-
-“Why, it must have been that pretty young creature,” said I.
-
-“Well, ma’am,” said Ellis, actually with a little shame-facedness, “if
-you ask me my opinion, she was a pooty young creature, and so was the
-baby. But it ain’t what she looked, Miss Milly; it’s what she said. She
-asked as anxious as could be after the family at the Park.”
-
-“Did she know anything of us?” said I, quite delighted. “I wonder who
-she is; she quite took my heart.”
-
-“Not if you’d have heard her speak, ma’am,” said Ellis. “She asked, kind
-of curious like, how you came to succeed to the estate, and whether
-there wasn’t no gap in the line, and if none o’ the family were ever
-passed over, and a deal of such questions. I told her it was Eden Hall
-she was thinking on, but she wasn’t satisfied. She said wasn’t there
-another claimant to the estate, and was I quite sure you was the right
-people and hadn’t passed over nobody? But the strangest thing of all
-was, as soon as I let out by accident I belonged to the Park, it was all
-over in a twinkling. Afore you could know where you was, from asking her
-questions and looking as anxious as you please, and her little veil up
-over her bonnet, and her face turned to you like a child--in a moment,
-ma’am, it was dead shut up and drawn back, and the veil down and face as
-if it didn’t see the place you was. I said to myself, ‘There’s summut in
-this,’ as soon as ever I seed the way she took me belonging to the Park;
-and, to be sure, all the way not another word. Seeing things like that,
-I made bold to look after her when she went out; and if you might chance
-to have any curiosity, Miss Milly, here’s a note of the address.”
-
-“But what should I have any curiosity about?” said I, agitated and
-surprised, taking the paper from him eagerly enough, yet quite at a loss
-to account for any interest I could have in his adventure. Ah! had it
-happened six months ago, how I should have laughed at Ellis! but it
-could not have happened six months ago. Ellis himself would have taken
-no notice whatever of such questions then.
-
-“Ma’am,” said Ellis, “the quality has their own ways; if _I_ don’t know
-that, who should? I dare say it ain’t nothink to you; but it’s curious
-to have parties asking about the Park, as if we was a family as had
-romances; and being a pooty young creature, you see, Miss Milly, I
-thought it might be possible as you’d like to know.”
-
-“Very well, thank you, Ellis. I know you’re always careful about the
-interests of the family,” said I.
-
-“I’ve been at the Park fifty year,” said Ellis, with his best butler’s
-bow. I gave him a nod, and went away to the library a great deal more
-disturbed than I would let him perceive, but I don’t undertake to say
-that he didn’t see it all the same. Here was just the very fuel to set
-my smouldering impatience into a blaze. A sudden impulse of doing
-something seized upon me like a kind of inspiration. Here was a new
-actor in the strange bewildering drama. Who was she? Could she be
-Luigi’s wife coming to aid him? As the thought struck me I trembled with
-impatience, standing at the window where it was too dark to read that
-address. I must wait for the morning, but certainly there was light out
-of darkness. However foolish it might be, I could bear it no longer.
-Here was a clue to guide my steps, and whether right or wrong, to-morrow
-I should plunge into the mystery. The idea took possession of me beyond
-all power of resistance. I walked about the library in the dark, quite
-excited and tremulous. The wind had risen, and the night was rather
-stormy, but I could not go into the comfort and light of that great
-drawing-room where Sarah sat knitting. To-morrow, perhaps, I should know
-the secret of her death in life.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-I got very little rest that night, and was up almost by break of day the
-next morning. In the height of my excitement and anxiety, I felt more
-comfort in my mind than I had done for a long time. Sitting waiting is
-dreadful work, but I felt myself again when there appeared anything to
-do. I would not allow myself to suppose that it would end in nothing.
-Such inquiries could not possibly be made without a motive. I was so
-restless that I scarcely could remain quietly at home for an hour or two
-after breakfast which, out of regard for appearances, I was obliged to
-sacrifice; but for the same reason I made up my mind not to take the
-carriage, but to walk to the point where the omnibus passed, and take my
-chance of finding a seat in it as other people did. I went out
-accordingly about eleven o’clock, and left a message for Sarah that I
-was going to make some calls, and that she was not to wait dinner for
-me, as _I_ should probably lunch somewhere at a friend’s house. I saw
-Ellis look out after me from the hall window, with a kind of solemn grin
-on his face. Ellis was not to be deceived; he knew where I was going as
-well as I did myself.
-
-As I had intended, I got into the omnibus when it passed, to the great
-amazement and dismay of both guard and driver, who knew me well enough.
-I thought to myself, after I was in it, that it was perhaps rather a
-foolish thing to do. If any talk got abroad about our family, and if the
-strangers, male and female, kept making strange inquiries, and I was
-seen driving--no, that is not the word--_riding_ in an omnibus, what
-would people think but that some extraordinary downfall had happened at
-the Park? There were only some countrywomen in the coach, who stared at
-me a little, but were too busy with their own affairs to mind me much.
-Fortunately there was no one there from our own village. It was a very
-long drive to Chester, going in the omnibus; and being unaccustomed to
-it, and never on the outlook for jolts, I felt it a good deal, I
-confess, besides being just the least thing in the world in a false
-position. Not that I minded being seen in the omnibus, but because the
-guard knew me, and was troublesomely respectful, and directed the
-attention of the other passengers towards me. Great people, when they
-pretend to travel _incognito_, must find it a great bore, I should
-fancy. Of course somebody always betrays them, and it must be a great
-deal easier to bear what you can’t help bearing when there is no mystery
-about it, than when every blockhead thinks himself in your secret, and
-bound to keep up the joke with you.
-
-At last we came to the street, and I got down. It was near the railway
-station, and so all sorts of traffic poured past the place; shabby
-hackney cabs, omnibuses from the Chester hotels, vans of goods, all the
-miscellaneous stuff that pours into railway stations. The houses were a
-little back from the road, to be sure, with little “front gardens,” as
-the people call them. I walked past three or four times before I had
-screwed myself up to the point of going in. The thing that dissipated
-all my feelings of embarrassment in a moment, and brought me back to the
-eagerness and excitement with which I set out from home, was the sudden
-appearance of Mr. Luigi’s servant, the large, fat, good-humoured
-Italian, whom I have before mentioned, at the door of one of the houses.
-The sight of him flushed me at once into determination. I turned
-immediately to the house where he stood, and of course it was _the_
-house, the number which Ellis had written down on his paper; there could
-be no doubts on the subject now.
-
-“I wish to see your mistress,” said I, going up to the man, too
-breathless and eager to waste any words.
-
-He looked at me with good-humoured scrutiny, repeating “Meestress” with
-a puzzled tone; at last a kind of gay, half-flattered confusion came
-over his good-humoured face, he put his hand on his heart, made a
-deprecatory, remonstrating bow, and burst into some laughing mixture of
-Italian and English, equally unintelligible. The fellow actually
-supposed I meant his sweetheart, or pretended to suppose so. I became
-very angry. He did not look impertinent either; but you may fancy how
-one would feel, to be supposed capable of such a piece of levity at such
-a time. And a person of my condition, too! Happily, at this moment the
-nurse-girl whom I had seen with my pretty young stranger suddenly made
-her appearance with the baby in her arms. I appealed to her, and though
-she stared and made answer in words not much more intelligible to me
-than her fellow-servant’s, she showed me upstairs. She was going out
-with the beautiful baby, but one way and another I was so worried and
-uncomfortable, and felt so strongly the existence of those plots against
-us which I was now going to clear up, that I took no notice of the
-child. I said nothing at all but that I wanted to see her mistress, and
-walked into the little drawing room without thinking I might be going
-into the young stranger’s presence, possibly into the presence of both
-husband and wife. However, the moment I had entered I saw her; there she
-was. In my heat and annoyance I went up to her instantly.
-
-“Young lady,” said I, “you were in the neighbourhood of my house
-yesterday; you were in our village; I myself saw you approaching the
-Park. You put some very strange questions to my servant. You must know
-how harassed and disturbed I have been by inquiries I don’t know the
-meaning of. What is it all about? What claim has your husband upon the
-Mortimers? Who is he? What does he want with us?”
-
-I said this without pausing to take breath, for my encounter with the
-servant, I confess, had irritated me. Now, when I had said my say and
-come to myself, I looked at her and felt a little shocked. She was
-certainly changed since yesterday; but before I had time even to make a
-mental comment on this change, I was entirely confounded by the entrance
-of a new and unsuspected actor on the scene; _her husband!_ evidently
-her husband; but as unlike Mr. Luigi as one handsome young man could be
-unlike another,--a bright, open-faced unmistakable Englishman, a young
-soldier. The sight of him struck me aghast. What new complication was
-this?
-
-“If there’s going to be any fighting, that’s _my_ trade,” said the
-new-comer. “We’ll change places, Milly darling. Madam, my wife has a
-great many things to occupy her just now; let me answer for her, if that
-is possible. I think I know what she has been about.”
-
-Saying which, he wheeled the one easy chair in the room towards me, and
-invited me to sit down. I sat down with the feeling of having somehow
-deceived myself strangely and made a huge mistake. I could not make it
-out. Mr. Luigi’s servant was below, and this was certainly the young
-woman whom I had arrested on her way to the Park, and who had asked
-questions of Ellis in the omnibus. But who was this handsome young
-soldier? What had he to do with it? A cold tremble came over me that it
-was what the newspapers call a mistaken identity, and that somehow I had
-stumbled in, after the rudest and most unauthorized fashion, into the
-privacy of two innocent young creatures who knew nothing about the Park.
-
-“Pardon me if I am wrong,” I said with a gasp; “I fear I must be wrong,
-only let me ask one question. Did you speak to a man in the omnibus
-yesterday about the Mortimers of the Park? or was it not you? I am sure
-I shall never forgive myself if I have made such a foolish mistake.”
-
-“But it is no mistake,” said the young wife, who had remained in the
-room, standing very near the half-opened door into the tiny apartment
-behind. Poor young soul! she was certainly changed in those twenty-four
-hours. I could scarcely resist an impulse that came upon me, to go up
-and take her in my arms, and ask the dear young creature what it was
-that ailed her. Depend upon it, whatever she might have asked about the
-Mortimers, that face meant no harm. I looked at her so closely, I was so
-much attracted by her, that I scarcely noticed, till she repeated it,
-what she said.
-
-“It is no mistake,” she said, growing firmer; “I did ask questions. I am
-sure you are Miss Mortimer--we will tell you how it was. Harry, you will
-tell Miss Mortimer all about it. I am a little--a little stupid to-day.
-I’ll go and fetch the books if you will tell Miss Mortimer how it was.”
-
-She went away quite simply and quietly. He stood looking after her with
-a compassionate, tender look, that went to my heart. He did not speak
-for a moment, and then he said, with a sigh, something that had nothing
-to do with my mystery. “We got marching orders for the Crimea
-yesterday,” said the dear simple-hearted young fellow, with the tears
-coming into his honest eyes. “It is very hard upon my poor Milly;” and
-he broke off with another sigh.
-
-If the two had come to me together the next moment, and disclosed a plan
-to turn us out of our estate or pull the house down over our heads, I
-could have hugged them in my arms all the same. God bless the dear
-children! whatever they had to tell, there was but one thing in their
-thoughts, and that was the parting that was coming. If I had been the
-hardest heart in the world, that spontaneous confidence must have melted
-me. As it was, I could hardly help crying over them in their anguish and
-happiness. People are happy that have such anguishes. I could hardly
-help exclaiming out aloud, “I’ll take care of her!” and yet dear! to
-think of human short-sightedness! Had not I come all this way to find
-them out?
-
-She came back again a minute after, with some old books in her arms.
-
-“Have you told Miss Mortimer, Harry?” she asked, pausing with a little
-surprise to hear no conversation going on between us, and to see him
-leaning against the mantelshelf just as she had left him, with his hand
-over his eyes. Then she gave him a quick, affectionate, indignant
-glance--I might say petulant--and came up in her energetic way to the
-table, where she put down the books. “_I_ will tell you, Miss Mortimer,”
-said the brave little woman. “We do not know very much ourselves, but
-perhaps when you hear our story you can make it plain better than we
-can. We found it out only by chance.”
-
-“My dear,” said I, “do not call me Miss Mortimer; my eldest sister is
-Miss Mortimer. I am called Miss Milly; Millicent Mortimer is my name.”
-
-Here the young man broke in suddenly. “_Her_ name was Millicent Mortimer
-too,” he cried. “Milly!--that is her name--I beg your pardon, Miss
-Mortimer; I think there is no name in the world equal to it. She’s
-Milly, named so at her father’s desire. Tell me, is she nearly related
-to you?”
-
-I was so astonished I rose up to my feet and stared at them both. To be
-sure, I had heard him call her Milly; but my thoughts had been so
-entirely drawn astray by Mr. Luigi, that I never thought of anything
-else. I stood perfectly thunderstruck, staring at them. “What are you
-telling me?” I cried. Really my mind was not in a condition to take in
-anything that might be said to me. She put the old books towards me one
-by one. I opened them, not knowing what I did. “Sarah Mortimer, the
-Park, 1810.” Heaven bless us! Sarah’s hand, no doubt about it; but who
-in the world was _she_?
-
-“Child, take pity on me!” I cried; “with one thing and another I am
-driven out of my wits. Tell me, for heaven’s sake, who was your father?
-Are you _that_ Luigi’s sister? Who are you? Where did you come from? God
-help us! I don’t know what to think, or where to turn. Your father, who
-was he? What do you know about him? Were _you_ born in Italy too? What
-is the truth of this wild, dreadful mystery? Sarah may know about it
-perhaps, but I know nothing, nothing! If you would not have me go out of
-my senses, child, tell me who you are, and who your father was.”
-
-They both gazed at me astonished. “She is Millicent Mortimer,” said her
-young husband, “the child of Richard Mortimer and Maria Connor; she was
-born in Ireland. Milly! Milly! the old lady is going to faint.”
-
-For I sank dead down in my chair, as was natural. I put my hands over my
-face. I fell a-crying and sobbing in that wonderful, blessed relief. If
-my worst suspicions had come true, I could have stood up and faced it.
-But my strength went from me in this delicious, unspeakable comfort.
-Richard Mortimer’s children! The heirs we were looking for! Oh dear! to
-think I could ever be so distrustful of the good Lord! This was what all
-the mystery had come to! I sat crying like a fool in my chair, the two
-looking on at me, thinking me crazy most likely--most likely wondering,
-in their innocent grieved hearts, at the old woman crying for nothing.
-How could they tell what a mountain-load of trouble they had taken off
-my head?
-
-“My dear,” cried I, when I could control myself enough, “if you are
-Richard Mortimer’s daughter you’re the nearest relation we have. You
-were to have been advertised for before now--we’ve been seeking you, or
-trying to seek you, everywhere. I knew there must be something made my
-heart warm to you so. My dear, we’re the last of the old race; there’s
-nobody but Richard Mortimer’s children to carry on the name. God help
-us! I am a silly old woman. I had taken dreadful fears into my head. Why
-didn’t you come and say it plain out, and turn all my anxiety and
-troubles into joy? Ah Milly, dear Milly Mortimer!--I could think you
-were my own child somehow--come and let me kiss you. I am not so weak as
-this usually, but I’m quite overcome to-day. Come here, child, and let
-me look at you. It’s pleasant to think there’s a young Mortimer in the
-world again.”
-
-I was so much engaged with my own feelings, that I did not notice how
-much the young people were taking it. When I did come to myself a
-little, they were standing rather irresolute, that pretty young Milly
-Mortimer looking at me in a kind of longing, reluctant way, either as if
-she could not take me at my word, or had something on her mind. As for
-her husband, he was looking at me too, but with a full eager look, which
-I understood in a moment; his lip trembling and swelling out a little,
-his eyes full, his whole face telling its story. When he caught my eye
-he turned his look upon her, and then back to me again. Do you think I
-did not understand him? He said, “You will take care of my Milly?”
-clearer than he could have said it in a thousand words; and if my eyes
-were slow to answer him, you may be sure it was no fault of will or
-heart. Seeing she was shy to come to me, and recovering myself, I went
-to the new Milly and kissed her. I can’t tell what a pleasure I took in
-looking at her. She belonged to me--she was of our very own blood, come
-from the same old forefathers. I thought nothing strange that I loved
-her in a moment. It was not love at first sight, it was _natural
-affection_. That makes a vast difference. Even Sara Cresswell was not
-like a child of our own family. To think of another Milly Mortimer,
-pretty, and happy, and young! such a Milly as I might have been perhaps,
-but never was. I felt very happy in this child of my family. It was half
-as good as having a child of one’s own.
-
-Then they showed me some other books with poor Richard Mortimer’s name
-in them, and his drawing of the Park, and Sarah getting on her horse.
-Poor fellow! but I rather fear he could not have been any great things
-of a man. I felt quite easy and light at my heart; nothing seemed to
-frighten me. And the two young people even, in the little excitement,
-forgot their own trouble, which was a comfort to me.
-
-“But all this time, my dear,” said I, at length, “you have said nothing
-about your brother. How did he get to be Italian,--and what did he mean
-by asking about that lady--and why not come at once to the Park and say
-out who he was?”
-
-“My brother?” said the young wife, faltering; and gave a wondering look
-at me, and then turned round, with a habit she seemed to have, to
-consult her husband with her eyes; “my brother? I am afraid you have not
-understood. Harry is----”
-
-“I know what Harry is,” cried I; “don’t tell me about _him_. I mean your
-brother--your brother. Why, dear, dear child, don’t you understand? I
-met this man at the door of this very house--Mr. Luigi, you know as they
-call him; of course he must belong to you.”
-
-“Indeed,” said the new Milly, with very grave, concerned looks, “I never
-spoke to him but once in my life; we don’t know anything about him. I
-never had any brother; there were none but me.”
-
-I don’t think I said anything at all in answer. I said nothing, so far
-as I know, for a long time after. I sat stupified, feeling my burden all
-the heavier because I had deluded myself into laying it off a little. Oh
-me! we had found the heirs that Sarah had thought so much about; but the
-cloud had not dissolved in this pleasant sunshine. Out of my
-extraordinary sense of relief, I fell into darker despondency than ever.
-He was not Milly Mortimer’s brother, nor anybody belonging to her. Who
-could he be?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-I don’t know very well how I got to Mr. Cresswell’s house. I did manage
-to get there somehow. I went listlessly through the old fashioned
-streets I knew so well, and turned down upon that serious old house with
-its brick front and rows of windows all covered with Venetian blinds. It
-met the morning sun full, and that was why the blinds were down; but it
-had a dismal effect upon me, as anything else would have had at that
-moment. I know how the rooms look inside when the blinds are down; it
-throws a chill into one’s heart that has known them put down for sadder
-reasons. I went into the house in the same listless way, like a person
-in a dream. Somehow I could not take any comfort in those dear young
-creatures I had just found out. Mr. Luigi, whom I had not found out,
-returned upon me like a nightmare. Was there no possible way in which
-this mystery could be discovered? What if I sought an interview with
-himself and put it to him fairly to tell me who he was? I went into Bob
-Cresswell’s drawing-room, where the windows were open and the sunshine
-slanting in through the Venetian blinds. It was rather dark, but a green
-pleasant darkness, the wind stirring the curtains, and now and then
-knocking the wood of the blinds softly against the woodwork of the
-window; a cheerful kind of gloom. Sara’s knick-knacks lay scattered
-about everywhere on the tables, and there were cushions, and ottomans,
-and screens, and fantastic pieces of ornamental work about, enough to
-have persuaded a stranger that Sara was the most industrious person in
-the world. The creature bought them all, you know, at fancy fairs and
-such absurd places. I am not sure that she ever took a needle in her
-fingers; but she said herself she had not the slightest intention of
-saving her poor papa’s money; and indeed it was very true.
-
-I was thankful to sit down by myself a little in the silence. Sara was
-out, it appeared, and I threw myself into an easy-chair, and actually
-felt the quietness and green-twilight look of the room, with just a
-touch of sunshine here and there upon the carpet near the windows, a
-comfort to me. Once again, as you may suppose, I thought it all over;
-but into the confused crowd of my own thoughts, where Sarah, Carson, Mr.
-Luigi, his fat servant, my new-found Milly Mortimer, and all her
-belongings, kept swaying in and out and round about each other, there
-came gleams of the other people suggested by this room;--Mr. Cresswell
-trying to make some light out of the confusion, Sara darting about, a
-mischievous, bewildering little sprite, and even, by some strange
-incoherency of my imagination, Sara’s poor pretty young mother, dead
-seventeen years ago, flickering about it, with her melancholy young
-eyes. Poor sweet lonely creature! I remember her a bride in that very
-room, with Bob Cresswell who might almost have been her father, very
-fond, but not knowing a bit what to make of her; and then lying helpless
-on the sofa, and then fading away out of sight, and the place that had
-known her knowing her no more. Ah me! I wonder whether that is not the
-best way of getting an end put to all one’s riddles. If Sarah and I had
-died girls, we should have been girls for ever,--pleasant shadows always
-belonging to the old house. Now it would be different, very different.
-When we were gone, what story might be told about us? “In their time
-something dreadful occurred about the succession, proving that they had
-never any right to the estate;” or “the great lawsuit began between the
-heirs of a younger branch and a supposed son of Squire Lewis.” Dear!
-dear! Who could this young man be? and now here was our real relation,
-our pretty Milly Mortimer--our true heir, if we were the true heirs of
-the estate. Dare I let her believe herself the heir of the Park with
-this mystery hanging over all our heads? Poor dear child, she was
-thinking more about her husband’s marching orders than if a hundred
-Parks had been in her power. Trouble there, trouble here; everywhere
-trouble of one sort or another. I declare I felt very tired of it all,
-sitting in that cool shady drawing-room. I could turn nowhere without
-finding some aggravation. This is how life serves us, though it seems
-such a great thing to keep in life.
-
-“But, godmamma, how in all the world did you come here?” cried Sara
-Cresswell, springing upon me suddenly, before I had seen her come in,
-like a kitten as she was; “you who never come to Chester but in great
-state, to call upon people! It’s only one o’clock, and there’s no
-carriage about the streets, and you’ve got your old brown dress on. How
-_did_ you get here?”
-
-“Never mind, child,” said I, a little sharply; “you take away my
-breath. Suppose you get me some lunch, and don’t ask any questions. I am
-going to stay all day, perhaps all night,” I said with a little
-desperation; “perhaps it’s the best thing I could do.”
-
-“Godmamma, something has happened!” cried Sara; and she came and knelt
-down on the stool at my feet, looking up in my face, with cheeks all
-crimsoned over, and eyes sparkling brighter than I had ever seen them.
-It was not anxiety but positive expectation that flushed the child’s
-face. I could not help thrusting her away from me with my hand, in the
-fulness of my heart.
-
-“Child!” cried I, “you are glad! you think something has happened to us,
-and it flushes you with pleasure. I did not expect as much from you!”
-
-Sara stumbled up to her feet, confused and affronted. She stood a moment
-irresolute, not sure, apparently, how to take it, or whether to show me
-to the full extent how angry and annoyed she was. However, I suppose she
-remembered that we were in her father’s house, and that I was her guest
-after a fashion; for she stammered some kind of apology. “You took me
-into your confidence before, and naturally I wanted to know,” cried the
-child, with half-subdued fury. She had never been taught how to manage
-her temper, and she could not do it when she tried.
-
-“You,” said I, “we are your godmothers, Sara, and have loved you all
-your life; but you want to know, just as if it were a story in a
-novel--though, for all you can tell, it may be something that involves
-our fortune, or our good name, or our life.”
-
-Now this was very foolish of me, and I confess it. It was not anger at
-Sara that made me say it--nothing of the sort. But I had come through a
-good deal, and my mind was so full that I could bear no more. It burst
-from me like something I could not retain, and after that I am ashamed
-to confess, I cried. It was merely the excitement and agitation of the
-day, so unusual to me, and coming after such a long strain of silent
-excitement as I had already come through.
-
-Sara stood before me confounded. She was quite unprepared for anything
-of this kind. She kept standing by me in a bewildered way, too much
-puzzled to say anything. At length she knelt down on the footstool and
-pressed my hand upon her little soft mouth. “Something dreadful has
-happened, godmamma?” said Sara, looking up at me wistfully. The poor
-child was really alarmed and full of anxiety now.
-
-“No, no,” said I, “nothing has happened at all. I am only too nervous
-and alarmed and unhappy to bear speaking to. I am not unhappy either.
-Sara, child, can’t you leave me by myself a little and order luncheon?
-I’ll tell you all about it then.”
-
-Sara got up immediately to do what I told her; but before she left me
-stole her arm round my neck and kissed me. “I have got a secret to tell
-you, godmamma; you’ll be so glad when you know,” whispered the creature
-in my ear. Glad! I suppose it would be some of her love affairs,--some
-deluded young man she was going to marry, perhaps. Well! so I might have
-been glad, in a manner, if it were a suitable match, and she had taken
-any other time to tell me; but you may fancy how much happiness I had to
-spare for anybody now.
-
-It may be imagined that my appetite was not very great in spite of my
-anxiety about luncheon, but I certainly was glad to have a glass of Mr.
-Cresswell’s nice Madeira after all my fatigue and exhaustion. Sara and I
-sat opposite to each other in the dining-room, where the blinds were
-down also, without saying much for some time. She was watching me I
-could see. There she sat very demure and a little anxious, in her velvet
-jacket, shaking her short curls, now and then, with an impatient kind of
-motion. I was glad to see that kitten have so much perception of the
-rights of hospitality; for she allowed me to take my time, and did not
-torture me with questions, so that I really got the good of this little
-interval, and was refreshed.
-
-“I ought to be very happy instead of being so nervous and
-uncomfortable,” cried I at last; “for only fancy, my dear child, who I
-have found. Do you remember when you were at the Park hearing your
-godmamma Sarah speak of an heir whom she wanted your papa to advertise
-for? Well, what do you think, Sara? I have actually found her! for she
-is not an heir but an heiress. What your godmamma Sarah will say when
-she hears it, I can’t think; for she has never been advertised for, you
-know. She has turned up ‘quite promiscuous,’ as Ellis says.”
-
-“Oh!--so you know!” said Sara, in quite a disappointed tone; “and I
-thought I had such a secret for you. Well, of course, since you do know,
-it doesn’t matter; they’re coming here to-night.”
-
-“My dear, I know they are coming here to-night. They told me so; and
-your papa is to go over the whole, and make it all out how it is. Ah,
-dear me!” said I with a sigh, “if that were but all!”
-
-“Dear godmamma,” said Sara in her coaxing way, “are you not glad? I
-thought you would certainly be glad to find another Milly Mortimer; but
-you’ve got something on your mind.”
-
-“Ah, yes, I have something on my mind,” said I. “Sara, child, I don’t
-know what to do with myself. I must see this Mr. Luigi before I go
-home.”
-
-“You can’t, godmamma; he is not in Chester,” cried Sara, with a sudden
-blush. “As soon as he found out--the very next morning at least--he went
-away to fetch some things he had left behind.”
-
-“Found out what?”
-
-Sara put her hands together with a childish appealing motion. “Indeed, I
-do not know--indeed, dear godmamma, I do not know. If you think it wrong
-of me to have spoken to him, I am very sorry, but I can’t help it. I met
-him at Mrs. Langham’s, you know,--and he saw Sarah Mortimer written in
-her book. And the next morning he met me,--I mean I met him--we happened
-to meet in the street--and he told me he had found the clue he wanted,
-and was going to fetch some things he had put for safety in London--and
-I know he has not come back.”
-
-“How do you know he has not come back?” said I.
-
-Sara thought I was thinking of her, and the child blushed and looked
-uneasy; I observed as much, but I did not till long afterwards connect
-it with Mr. Luigi. I was too impatient to know about himself.
-
-“Because I should have seen him,” said Sara, faltering. It did not come
-into my head to inquire why she was so sure she would have seen him. My
-thoughts were occupied about my own business. I groaned in my heart over
-her words. Not yet was I to discover this mystery. Not yet was I to
-clear my mind of the burden which surely, surely, I could not long go on
-bearing. _It_ must come to an end, or me.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-After what Sara had told me I felt in great doubt as to what I should
-do. Staying in Chester, even for a night, was against my habits, and
-might make people talk. Ellis, of course, would be very wise over it
-among the servants, and the chances were that it might alarm Sarah; but
-at the same time I could not return there in the same state of
-uncertainty. I could not meet her face again, and see her going on with
-her knitting in that dreadful inhuman way. Having once broken out of my
-patience, it seemed to me quite impossible to return to it. I felt as if
-I could only go and make a scene with Sarah, and demand to know what it
-was, and be met by some cruel cold denial that she understood anything
-about it, which would, of course,--feeling sure that she understood it
-all, but having no sure ground on which I could contradict her,--put me
-half out of my senses. On the whole, staying in Chester all night could
-do no harm. If Ellis talked about it, and pretended that he knew quite
-well what I had gone about, I dare say it was no more than he had done
-already, and would be very well inclined to do again. One must always
-pay the penalty for having faithful old servants, and, really, if my
-absence frightened Sarah, so much the better. She ought not to be
-allowed to go on placidly congratulating herself on having shut out this
-poor young man. If we were wronging him, what a cruel, cruel, miserable
-thing it was of Sarah to be glad of having balked him and driven him
-away! It is dreadful to say such things of one’s own only sister, but
-one does get driven out of patience. Think of all I had come through,
-and the dreadful doubt hanging over me! I had kept very quiet for a long
-time and said nothing to nobody; but now that I had broken out, I fear I
-was in rather an unchristian state of mind.
-
-All that afternoon I kept quiet, and rested behind the green blinds in
-Mr. Cresswell’s half-lighted drawing-room. How Sara ever has got into
-the way of enduring that half light I can’t imagine; or rather I should
-say I don’t believe she uses this room at all, but has the back
-drawing-room, where the window is from which she could see down into the
-poor curate’s rooms, and watch his wife dressing the baby, as she told
-me long ago. You can see the street, too from an end window in that back
-drawing-room; perhaps that is how she would have known if Mr. Luigi had
-come back, for I am pretty sure, from the glimpses I had when the doors
-opened, that the blinds were not down _there_. She received her visitors
-in the back drawing-room that afternoon. I heard them come and go, with
-their dresses rustling about, and their fresh young voices. Of course I
-neither heard nor listened what they were talking of; but dear, to hear
-how eager the creatures were in their talk! as if it were anything of
-any consequence. I sat with that hum now and then coming to my ears,
-bewildering myself with my own fancies. If I could have read a book or a
-paper, or given my mind to anything else, it would have been a deal
-better for me; but my disorder of mind, you see, had come to a crisis,
-and I was obliged to let it take its way.
-
-It was not without a good deal of difficulty and embarrassment that Mr.
-Cresswell and I met. He was a little uncomfortable himself with the same
-feelings he had shown a spark of at the Park, and unduly anxious to let
-me see that he had lost no time in inquiring about the Langhams,--that
-was the name of the young people,--as soon as he heard of them, and had
-meant to come out to us next day and tell us the result. For my part, I
-was a great deal more embarrassed than he was. I could scarcely help
-letting him see that this new heiress was a very small part of my
-excitement and trouble; indeed, had no share in the trouble at all, for
-as much as I could give my mind to think of her, was pure pleasure; but
-at the same time my heart revolted from telling him my real difficulty.
-He, I dare say, had never once connected the young Italian, whom
-everybody in Chester knew something about, with us or our family; and I
-was so perfectly unable to say what it was I feared, that a shrewd
-precise man like Cresswell would have set it down at once merely as a
-woman’s fancy. At the same time, you know, I was quite unpractised in
-the art of concealing my thoughts. I betrayed to him, of course, a
-hundred times that I had something on my mind. I dare say he remembered
-from the time of our last interview that I looked to have something on
-my mind, and he made a great many very skilful efforts to draw it out.
-He talked of Sarah, with private appeals to me in the way of looks and
-cunning questions to open my mind about her; and, to tell the truth, it
-cost me a little self-denial, after we really got into conversation, not
-to say something, and put his shrewdness on the scent. I dare say he
-might have worried out the secret somehow or another; but I did not
-commit myself. I kept my own counsel closely, to his great surprise. I
-could see he went away baffled when it was nearly time for dinner. And
-he was not at all pleased to be baffled either, or to think that I was
-too many for him. I felt sure now I should have to be doubly on my
-guard, for his pride was piqued to find it all out.
-
-I can’t tell anybody what a comfort it was to my heart when my new Milly
-Mortimer came. If the two had been very bright and elate about finding
-themselves heirs to a great estate I might have been disgusted, glad as
-I was to know about them; for, to be sure, one does not like one’s heirs
-to be _very_ triumphant about wealth they can only have after one’s own
-death. But something more than houses or lands was in that young
-creature’s mind. She was wonderfully steady and cheerful, but never for
-a moment lost out of her eyes what was going to happen to her. It was
-not mere sympathy, you know, that made me know so well how she was
-feeling, for, to be sure, I never was in her circumstances nor anything
-like them; it was because I was her relation, and had a natural insight
-into her mind. I don’t believe Sara had the least perception of it. When
-we came upstairs after dinner, leaving that fine young soldier, whom
-really I felt quite proud of, with Mr. Cresswell, this came out
-wonderfully, and in a way that went to my heart. Sara, who was extremely
-affectionate to her, set her in an easy chair and brought her a
-footstool, and paid her all those caressing little attentions which such
-kittens can be so nice about when they please. “I am so glad you have
-come to know my godmamma just now,” said Sara, kissing her, “because she
-will know to comfort you when Mr. Langham goes away.”
-
-My Milly said nothing for a moment; she rather drew herself away from
-Sara’s kiss. She did not lean back, but sat upright in her chair, and
-put away the stool with her foot. “I am a soldier’s wife,” she said the
-next minute in the most unspeakable tone, with a kind of sob that did
-not sound, but only _showed_, in a silent heave of her breast. Ah, the
-dear child! have not soldiers’ wives a good call to be heroes too? I
-drew Sara away from her in a sort of passion; that velvet creature with
-her sympathy and her kisses, when the other was hanging on the edge of
-such a parting! If one could do nothing for the sweet soul, one might
-have the charity to leave her alone.
-
-But after a while I drew Milly into talking of herself, for I was
-naturally anxious to know all about her, and where she had been brought
-up, and how she had found out that she belonged to us. We all knew that
-young Langham and Mr. Cresswell were going over the papers that her
-husband had brought with him, and setting it all straight; but as I
-never had any doubt from the moment I saw those books of hers, I was
-much more anxious to know from Milly herself how she had spent her life.
-She told us with a little reserve about her Irish friends and her odd
-bringing up, and then how she had met with Harry. She told you all about
-that herself, I know, a great deal better than I could repeat it, and
-fuller, too, than she told us. But when she got fully into that story,
-she could not help forgetting herself and the present circumstances a
-little. Sara sat on a stool before her, with her hands clasped on her
-knees, devouring every word. Certainly Sara took a wonderful interest in
-it. I never saw her so entirely carried away by interest and sympathy.
-When Milly was done, the creature jumped up and defied me.
-
-“You couldn’t blame her; you couldn’t have the heart to blame her! It
-was just what she ought to have done!” cried Sara, with her face in such
-a commotion, all shining, and blushing, and dewy with tears. I was
-confounded by her earnest looks. It was very interesting, certainly, but
-there was nothing to transport her into such a little rapture as that.
-
-“Child, be quiet,” said I; “you are determined to do me some harm,
-surely. I don’t blame Milly. She thought she had nobody belonging to
-her, though she was mistaken there. My dear, you have one old woman
-belonging to you that will expect a great deal, I can tell you. I can
-feel somehow, as if it might have been me you were telling of, if I had
-ever been as pretty or as young----”
-
-“Godmamma, such nonsense!” cried Sara; “you must have been as young
-once; and if you were not far prettier than godmamma Sarah, I will never
-believe my eyes!”
-
-“Your godmamma Sarah was a great beauty,” said I; “but that is nothing
-to the purpose. If I had ever been as young and as pretty as this Milly
-Mortimer, I might have fallen in with a Harry too, who knows? and it
-might not have been any the better for you, my dear child; so it’s just
-as well that things are as they are. But, all the same, I can’t help
-thinking that it might have been my story you’re telling. There’s a
-great deal in a name, whatever people may say. I shall think the second
-Milly is to go through all the things the first Milly only wondered
-about. I never had any life of my own to speak of. You have one already.
-I shall think I have got hold of that life, that always slipped through
-my fingers, when I see you going through with it. I shall never feel
-myself an odd person again.”
-
-“Ah! but life is not happiness,” burst from my poor Milly’s lips in
-spite of herself; then she hastily drew up again: “I mean it is not
-play,” she said, after a while.
-
-“If it were play, it would be for children; it is heavy work and sore,”
-cried I; “that much I know, you may be sure; but then there are words
-said, that one can never forget, about him that endureth to the end.”
-
-Such words were comfort to _me_; but not just to that young creature in
-the intolerable hope and anguish she had in her heart. She was not
-thinking of any end; I was foolish to say it; and after all I knew more
-of life than she did--far more! and knew very well it did not spring on
-by means of heartbreaking events like the parting she was thinking of,
-or joyful ones like the meeting again which already she had set all her
-heart and life on, but crept into days and days like the slow current it
-had been to me. Sara, however, as was natural, was impatient of this
-talk. I believe she had something on her mind too.
-
-“You do not blame your Milly, godmamma?” she cried, a little spitefully;
-“but I suppose you would blame any other poor girl; as if people were
-always to do what was told them, and like such people as they were
-ordered to like! You old people are often very cruel. Of course you
-would blame every one else in the world?”
-
-“I should certainly blame _you_,” cried I, “if you should venture to
-think you might deceive your good father, that never denied you anything
-in his life. You velvet creature, what do you know about it? You never
-had an unkind word said to you, nor the most foolish wish in your little
-perverse heart denied. If you were to do such a thing, I could find it
-in my heart to lock you up in a garret and give you bread and water. It
-would not be a simple-hearted young creature with every excuse in the
-world for her, but a little cheat and traitor, and unnatural little
-deceiver. There! you are a wicked creature, but you are not so bad as
-that. If you said it yourself I should not believe it of you!”
-
-But to my amazement the child stood aghast, too much dismayed,
-apparently, to be angry, and faltered out, “Believe what?” with her
-cheeks suddenly growing so pale that she frightened me. The next moment
-she had rushed into the back drawing-room, and from thence
-disappeared,--for I went to look after her,--fairly flying either from
-herself or me. I was entirely confounded. I could not tell what to make
-of it. Was little Sara in a mystery too?
-
-“If I am betraying Sara, I am very sorry,” said Milly, when I looked to
-her for sympathy; “but I fear, though they don’t know it themselves,
-that she and the Italian gentleman are thinking more of each other,
-perhaps, than they ought.”
-
-She had scarcely finished speaking when Sara returned, dauntless and
-defiant. “I rushed away to see whether your note had gone to godmamma
-Sarah,” said the daring creature, actually looking into my very eyes. “A
-sudden dreadful thought struck me that it had been forgotten. But it is
-all right, godmamma; and now I think we might have some tea.”
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-The gentlemen came upstairs looking very cheerful and friendly, so of
-course everything had been satisfactory in their conversation. After a
-little while Mr. Cresswell came to tell me all about it. He said the
-papers seemed all quite satisfactory, and he had no doubt Mrs. Langham
-was really Richard Mortimer’s daughter, the nearest, and indeed only
-relation, on the Mortimer side of the house, that we had in the world.
-
-“I have no doubt about it,” said I; “but I am very glad, all the same,
-to have it confirmed. Now, my dear child, you know that we belong to
-each other. My sister and I are, on your father’s side, the only
-relations you have in the world.”
-
-Milly turned round to receive the kiss I gave her, but trembled and
-looked as if she dared not lift her eyes to me. Somehow I believe that
-idea which brightened her husband, came like a cold shadow between her
-and me, the thought that I would take care of her when he was away. It
-was very unreasonable, to be sure; but, dear, dear, it was very natural!
-I did not quarrel with her for the impulse of her heart.
-
-“But softly, softly, my dear lady,” said Mr. Cresswell; “the papers all
-_seem_ very satisfactory, I admit; but the ladies are always jumping at
-conclusions. I shall have to get my Irish correspondent to go over the
-whole matter, and test it, step by step. Not but that _I_ am perfectly
-satisfied; but nobody can tell what may happen. A suit might arise, and
-some of these documents might be found to have a flaw in it. We must be
-cautious, very cautious, in all matters of succession.”
-
-“A suit! Why, wouldn’t Richard Mortimer, if he were alive, be
-heir-at-law? Who could raise a suit?” cried I.
-
-I suppose he saw that there was some anxiety in my look which I did not
-express; and, to be sure, he owed me something for having thwarted and
-baffled him. “There is no calculating what mysterious claimant might
-appear,” said Mr. Cresswell, quite jauntily. “I heard somebody say, not
-very long ago, that all the romance now-a-days came through the hands
-of conveyancers and attorneys. My dear lady, leave it to me; I
-understand my own business, never fear.”
-
-I felt as if a perfect fever possessed me for the moment. My pulse beat
-loud, and my ears rang and tingled. “What mysterious claimant could
-there be to the Park?” I cried. I betrayed myself. He saw in a moment
-that this was the dread that was on my mind.
-
-“Quite impossible to say. I know no loophole one could creep in
-through,” he said, with a little shrug of his shoulders and a pretended
-laugh. “But these things defy all probabilities. It is best to make
-everything safe for our young friends here.”
-
-Now this, I confess, nettled me exceedingly; for though we had taken so
-much notice of his daughter, and had lived so quietly for many years,
-neither Sarah nor I had ever given up the pretensions of the Mortimers
-to be one of the first families in the county. And to hear an attorney
-speaking of “our young friends here,” as if they were falling heirs to
-some old maiden lady’s little bit of property! I was very much
-exasperated.
-
-“It seems to me, Mr. Cresswell, that you make a little mistake,” said I.
-“Our family is not in such a position that its members could either be
-lost or found without attracting observation. In a different rank of
-life such things might happen; but the Mortimers, and all belonging to
-them, are too well known among English families, if I am not mistaken,
-to allow of _any_ unknown connections turning up.”
-
-Mr. Cresswell immediately saw that he had gone too far, and he muttered
-a kind of apology and got out of it the best way he could. I drew back
-my chair a little, naturally indignant. But Cresswell, whose father and
-his father’s father had been the confidential agents of our family, who
-knew very well what we had been, and what we _were_ whenever we chose to
-assert ourselves,--to think of him, a Chester attorney, patronising our
-heirs and successors! You may imagine I had a good right to be angry,
-and especially as I could see he was quite pluming himself on his
-cleverness in finding out what was in my mind. He thought it was a whim
-that had taken possession of me, no doubt,--a kind of monomania. I could
-even see, as he thought it all quietly over by himself over his cup of
-tea, what a smile came upon his face.
-
-Young Langham, however, just then contrived to gain my attention. He did
-it very carefully, watching his opportunities when Milly was not looking
-at him, or when he thought she was not looking at him. “I am heartily
-glad to have found you out now, of all times,” said the young man.
-“Milly would not have gone to her relations in Ireland, and I have no
-relations. She will be very lonely when we are gone. Poor Milly! It is a
-hard life I have brought her into, and she so young.”
-
-“You are not much older yourself,” said I; “and if you children bring
-such trouble on yourselves, you must be all the braver to bear it. I
-doubt if she’d change with Sara Cresswell at this moment, or any other
-unmarried young creature in the world.”
-
-The young man looked up at me gratefully. “I can’t tell you how good she
-is,” he said, in his simplicity. “She never breaks down nor complains of
-anything. I don’t understand how she has saved and spared our little
-means and made them do; but she has, somehow. Now, though she’s pale
-with thinking of this--don’t you think she’s pale? but I forgot, you
-never saw her before--she has set all her mind upon my outfit, and will
-hear of nothing else. I wish it were true what the books say. I wish
-one’s young wife would content herself with thoughts of glory and
-honour; indeed, I wish one could do as much one’s self,” said the good
-young fellow, with a smile and sigh. “I fear I am only going, for
-instance, because I must go; and that I’ll cast many a look behind me on
-my Milly left alone. She’s just twenty,” he said, with an affectionate
-look at her which brought her eyes upon us and our conversation, and
-interrupted so far the confidential character of the interview between
-him and me.
-
-“Say nothing about it just now,” said I, hurriedly, “it only vexes her
-to hear you talk of what she is to do; leave her alone, dear soul--but
-at the same time don’t be afraid. The very day you go I’ll fetch her to
-the Park. She shall be our child while you are away--and it is to the
-Park you shall come when you come home. But say nothing about it now.
-She cannot bear to think of it at present. When the worst is over she’ll
-breathe again. Hush! don’t let her hear us now!”
-
-“But you know her, though you don’t know her,” said he, under his
-breath, with a half-wondering grateful look at me that quite restored my
-good-humour. I remember I nodded at him cheerfully. Know her! I should
-like to know who had as good a right! These young creatures can’t
-understand how many things an old woman knows.
-
-Here Milly came up to us, a little jealous, thinking somehow we were
-plotting against her. “Harry is talking to you of something?” she said,
-with a little hesitation in her voice.
-
-“On the subject we both like best, just now,” said I. “But I wish you
-both to go with me to the Park. You can manage it, can you not? The dear
-baby, and the little nurse, and--but the fat Italian? Ah! he doesn’t
-belong to you.
-
-“No! he was in great triumph to-night; his master has come home,” said
-young Langham. “He does not belong to us; but he is a devoted slave of
-Milly’s for all that.”
-
-“His master came home to-night!” I repeated the words over to myself
-involuntarily; and then a sudden thought struck me in the feverish
-impulse which came with that news. “Children,” said I, with a little
-gasp, “it is deeply to all our interest to know who that young man is. I
-can never rest, nor take comfort in anything till I know. Will you try
-to have him with you to-morrow, and I will come and speak to him? Hush!
-neither the Cresswells nor anybody is to know; it concerns only us
-Mortimers. Will you help me to see him at your house?”
-
-“You are trembling,” said Milly, suddenly taking hold of my hand. “Tell
-Harry what it is and he will do it. He is to be trusted; but it will
-agitate you.”
-
-“I cannot tell Harry, for I do not know,” said I, below my breath,
-leaning heavily upon the arm, so firm and yet so soft, that had come to
-my aid. “But I will take Harry’s support and yours. It shall be in your
-house. Whatever is to be said shall be said before you. Thank heaven! if
-I do get agitated and forget myself you will remember what he says.”
-
-“It is something that distresses you?” said the young stranger, once
-more looking into my face, not curious but wistful. I should have been
-angry had Sara Cresswell asked as much. I was glad and comforted to see
-Milly anxious on my account.
-
-“I cannot tell what it is; but whatever it is, it is right that you
-should know all about it,” said I. “For anything I can tell you it may
-interfere both with your succession and ours. I can’t tell you anything
-about it, that is the truth! I know no more than your baby does how Mr.
-Luigi can have any connection with our family; but he has a connection
-somehow--that is all I know. To-morrow, to-morrow, please God! we’ll try
-to find out what it is.”
-
-The two young people were a good deal startled by my agitation;
-perhaps, as was natural, they were also moved by the thought of another
-person who might interfere with the inheritance that had just begun to
-dazzle their eyes; but as I leaned back in my chair, exhausted with the
-flutter that came over me at the very thought of questioning Mr. Luigi,
-my eyes fell upon Mr. Cresswell, still sipping a cup of tea, and quietly
-watching me over the top of his spectacles; and at the same moment Sara
-came in from the back drawing-room with great agitation and excitement
-in her face. I could see that she scarcely could restrain herself from
-coming to me and telling me something; but with a sudden guilty glance
-at her father, and a sudden unaccountable blush, she stole off into a
-corner, and, of all the wonderful things in the world, produced actually
-_some work_ out of some fantastic ornamental work-table or other! That
-was certainly a new development in Sara. But I could read in her face
-that she had seen him too. She too had somehow poked her curls into this
-mystery. All around me, everybody I looked at, were moved by it, into
-curiosity or interest, or something deeper--I, the principal person in
-the business, feeling them all look at me, could only feel the more that
-I was going blindfold to, I could not tell what danger or precipice.
-Blindfold! but at least it should be straightforward. I knew that much
-of the to-morrow, which it made me tremble with excitement to think of;
-but I knew nothing more.
-
-
-
-
-PART VI.
-
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE.
-
-(_Continued._)
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER I.
-
-
-My dear old relation whom we have found out so suddenly, and whom I am
-quite ashamed to have once thought to be a kind of usurper of something
-that belonged to me, has been too much distressed and troubled
-altogether about this business to have the trouble of writing it down as
-well; and I have so little, so strangely little, to take up my time just
-now. The days are somehow all blank, with nothing ever happening in
-them. In my mind I can always see the ship making way over the sea, with
-the same rush of green water, and the same low-falling, quiet sky, and
-no other ships in sight. It has been very quiet weather--that is a great
-mercy. They should be almost landed there by this time.
-
-But that is not my business just now. My dear Aunt Milly--it is true she
-is only my father’s cousin, but cousin is an awkward title between
-people of such different age, and, according to Sara Cresswell, she is
-my aunt, _à la mode de Bretagne_, which I don’t mind adopting without
-any very close inquiry into its meaning--made an engagement with us to
-come to our house the next morning after that first day we met her.
-Harry came home from the Cresswells that night in raptures with Aunt
-Milly. It was rather hard upon me to see him so pleased. Of course I
-knew very well what made him so pleased. He thought he had secured a
-home for me. He was never tired praising her in his way. I am not
-exactly sure whether she herself would have relished the praises he gave
-her, because he has a sad habit of talking slang like all the rest. But
-apart from any reason, he _took to her_, which it is a great pleasure to
-think of now. When we got home Mr. Luigi’s window was blazing with light
-just as it had done when he returned before; for Domenico seems to be
-quite of the opinion that candles are articles of love and welcome as
-well as of devotion. Harry, who had quite made acquaintance with the
-Italian gentleman when he was at home before, went in to see him, and I
-went upstairs to baby. I used to take comfort in getting by myself a
-little, just at that time. Ten minutes in my own room in the dark did me
-a great deal of good. When one takes an opportunity and gets it out of
-one’s heart now and then, one can go on longer and better--at least I
-have found it so.
-
-Lizzie, always watchful, was very ready to let me hear that she was
-close at hand. The moment she heard me open my own room-door, she began
-to move about in the back apartment where she kept watch over baby, and
-I do believe it was only by dint of strong self-denial that she did not
-burst in upon me at once. I can’t fancy what she thought would happen if
-I “gave way.” It must have taken some very terrible shape to her fancy.
-After I had my moment of repose, I went to baby’s room. He was asleep
-like a little cherub in Mrs. Goldsworthy’s old wicker-work cradle, which
-I had trimmed with chintz for him; and Lizzie sat by the table working,
-but looking up at me with her sharp suspicious eyes--sidelong
-inquisitive looks, full of doubts of my fortitude, and anxiety for me.
-It was all affection, poor child. When one has affectionate creatures
-about one, it is impossible to be hard or shut one’s self up. I had no
-choice but to stop and tell Lizzie about my new friend.
-
-“Oh, it was thon leddy was at the muckle gates, and warned us away for
-the kingcough,” cried Lizzie; “I minded her the very moment at the door.
-I was sure as could be from the first look that it was some friend.”
-
-“Some friend,” in Lizzie’s language meant some relation. I asked in
-wonder, “Why?”
-
-But Lizzie could not explain why; it was one of those unreasonable
-impressions which are either instinctively prophetic, or which are
-adopted unconsciously after the event has proved them true.
-
-“But you were never slow where help was needed or comfort,” said Lizzie,
-dropping her eyes and ashamed of her own compliment; “and I kent there
-was somebody to be sent to comfort _you_; and wha could it be but a
-friend? For naebody could take you like the way you took me.”
-
-I suppose Lizzie’s view of things, being the simplest, had power over
-me. I was struck by this way of regarding it. Perhaps I had not just
-been thinking of what was _sent_. I felt as if that tight binding over
-my heart relaxed a little. Ah! so well as the Sender knew all about
-it--all my loneliness, dismay, and troubles; all my Harry’s risks and
-dangers; all our life beyond--inscrutable dread life which I dared not
-attempt to look at--and everything that was in it. I held my breath, and
-was silent in this wide world that opened out to me through Lizzie’s
-words.
-
-“And eh, mem,” cried Lizzie, opening her eyes wide, “I was sent for down
-the stair.”
-
-“Where?” cried I in astonishment.
-
-“I was sent for down the stair,” said Lizzie, with the oddest blush and
-twist of her person. “Menico, he’s aye been awfu’ ill at me since I
-wouldna gang to the playhouse after it was a’ settled--as if I could
-gang to play mysel’ the very day the news came! and eh, when he came up
-and glowered in at the door, and Mrs. Goldsworthy beside him, and no a
-person but me in _oor_ house, I was awfu’ feared. Her being English,
-they were like twa foreigners thegither; and how was I to ken what they
-were wantin’? The only comfort I had was mindin’ upon the Captain’s
-sword. It was aye like a protection. But a’ they said was that Mrs.
-Goldsworthy would stop beside baby, and I was to gang down the stair and
-speak to the gentleman. I thought shame to look as if I was feared--but
-I was awfu’ feared for a’ that.”
-
-“And what then?”
-
-“I had to gang,” said Lizzie, holding down her head; “_he_ was sleeping
-sound, and I kent I could hear the first word of greetin’ that was in
-his head; _I_ could hear in ony corner o’ the house; and Mrs.
-Goldsworthy gied me her word she would sit awfu’ quiet and not disturb
-him. Eh, mem, are ye angry? I never did it afore, and I’ll never do it
-again.”
-
-“No, you must not do it again,” said I; “but who wanted you downstairs?”
-
-“Eh, it was the Italian gentleman,” said Lizzie; “and it was a’ about
-the leddy that was here the day. He wanted to ken if she was wanting
-_him_; and then he wanted to hear if I kent her, and what friend she was
-to you; but it was mostly a’ to make certain that it wasn’t _him_ she
-wanted--as if a leddy like yon was likely to have ony troke wi’
-foreigners or strange men! and there was aye the other blatter to
-Menico in their ain language--and ower again, and ower again to me, if
-it wasna _him_ she asked for. And me standing close at the door
-listening for baby, and thinking shame to be there, and awfu’ feared you
-would be angry. I would like to ken what the like of him had to do wi’
-leddies?--and Menico, too, that might have kent better--but there’s
-naebody will behave to please folk perfect in this world.”
-
-“But this is very strange news,” said I. “What did you say, Lizzie? did
-you say it was Miss Mortimer, and that she was a relation of mine.”
-
-“Eh, no me!” cried Lizzie. “Ye might think it to see me so silly, but I
-wasna that daft. I said it was ane on a visit to the leddy. _I_ had nae
-ado with it ony mair than that, and I’m sure neither had he.”
-
-Here Harry’s voice sounded from below, calling me, and I left Lizzie
-somewhat amused by her cautious and prudent answer, and not a little
-curious to see that the Italian was interested about the old lady as
-well as she about him. I found Harry quite full of the same story. Mr.
-Luigi had questioned him with great caution about Miss Mortimer, and of
-course had heard the entire story from Harry of our relationship, and
-how we found each other out. He had received it very quietly, without
-expressing any feeling at all, and had asked some very close questions
-about her and about the Park, and her other sister. Harry could not make
-him out. Of course neither of us knew the other sister. Evidently it was
-a mysterious business somehow. But as we knew nothing whatever about it,
-we soon came to an end of our speculations. The morning, perhaps, as
-Aunt Milly thought, would clear it all up.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER II.
-
-
-The morning came, and a very lovely morning it was, as bright and almost
-as warm as summer, one of those glimpses of real spring which come to us
-only by days at a time. Aunt Milly came almost before we had finished
-breakfast. I dare say she is accustomed to early hours; but it was
-evidently strong anxiety and excitement that had brought her out so soon
-to-day. I had told Lizzie she was coming, and Lizzie, either with some
-perception of the real nature of her visit, which I could not in any way
-account for, or with natural Scotch jealousy and reluctance to satisfy
-the curiosity of strangers as to our relationship, kept on the watch
-after she had given baby into my charge, and got her triumphantly into
-the house without any intervention on the part of Domenico. Aunt Milly
-sank into a chair, very breathless and agitated. It was some time before
-she could even notice little Harry. To see her so made me more and more
-aware how serious this business, whatever it was, must be.
-
-“But I am too early, I suppose?” she said with a little gasp.
-
-Harry thought it was rather too early, unless he were to tell Mr. Luigi
-plainly what he was wanted for, which she would not permit him to do. It
-was a very uncomfortable interval. She sat silent, evidently with her
-whole mind bent upon the approaching interview. We, neither knowing the
-subject of it, nor what her anxiety was, had nothing to say, and I was
-very glad when Harry went downstairs to find the Italian. Then Aunt
-Milly made a hurried communication to me when we were alone, which
-certainly did not explain anything, but which still she evidently felt
-to be taking me into her confidence.
-
-“My dear, Sarah knows something about him,” said Aunt Milly; “somehow or
-other Sarah knows that he has a claim upon us. When she heard of the
-inquiries he was making, she was in a state of desperation--used to
-drive out with the carriage blinds down, poor soul, and kept watching
-all day long, so wretched and anxious that it would have broken your
-heart. But how it all is, and how about this Countess, and his being
-named Luigi, and his claim upon the estate, and her knowing him--though,
-so far as I can judge, he could be no more than born when she came
-home--Hark! was that somebody coming upstairs?”
-
-It was only some of the people of the house moving about. Aunt Milly
-gave a sigh of relief. “My dear, I’m more and more anxious since I’ve
-found _you_, to know the worst,” she said. “It is as great a mystery to
-you as to your baby, how he can have any connection with us. Dear, dear!
-to think of a quiet family, and such a family as the Mortimers, plunged
-all at once into some mystery! it is enough to break one’s heart;--but
-then, you see, Sarah was so long abroad.”
-
-“Was she long abroad?” said I, with a little cry. All at once, and in
-spite of myself, my old fancy about that old Miss Mortimer, whom I
-imagined living in my grandfather’s house, came back to my mind. The
-great beauty whom my good Mrs. Saltoun had seen abroad--how strange if
-this should be her after all! Somehow my old imaginations had looked so
-true at the time, that I seemed to remember them as if they were matters
-of fact and not of fancy. I looked up, quite with a consciousness that I
-knew something about it, in Aunt Milly’s face.
-
-“What do you know about her?” cried Aunt Milly, rising up quite erect
-and rigid out of her chair. Her excitement was extreme. She had
-evidently gone beyond the point at which she could be surprised to find
-any stranger throwing light upon her mystery. But at that moment those
-steps for which we had been listening did ascend the stairs. We could
-hear them talking as they approached, the Italian with his accent and
-rather solemn dictionary English, and Harry’s voice that sounded so easy
-in comparison. Aunt Milly sank back again into her chair. She grasped
-the arms of it to support herself, and gave me a strange half-terrified,
-half-courageous look. In another moment they had entered the room.
-
-Mr. Luigi came in without any idea, I dare say, of the anxiety with
-which we awaited him; but he had not been a minute in the room when his
-quick eye caught Aunt Milly, though she had drawn back with an
-involuntary movement of withdrawal from the crisis she had herself
-brought on. I could read in his face, the instant he saw her, that he
-divined the little contrivance by which he had been brought here. He
-stood facing her after he had paid his respects to me, and took no
-notice of the chair Harry offered him. As for Harry and I, not knowing
-whether they really knew each other, or whether they ought to be named
-to each other, or what to do, we stood very uncomfortable and
-embarrassed behind. I said “Miss Mortimer,” instinctively, to lessen the
-embarrassment if I could. I don’t believe he heard me. _He_ knew Miss
-Mortimer very well, however it was.
-
-And it was he who was the first to break the silence. He made a kind of
-reverence to her, more than a bow, like some sort of old-fashioned
-filial demonstration. “Madame has something to say to me?” he asked,
-with an anxiety in his face almost equal to her own.
-
-“Yes,” cried Aunt Milly, “I--I have something to say to you. Sit down,
-and let me get breath.”
-
-He sat down, and so did we. To see her struggling to overcome the great
-tremor of excitement she had fallen into, and we all waiting in silence
-for her words, must have been a very strange scene. It was the merest
-wonder and curiosity, of course, with Harry and me; but I remember
-noticing even at that moment that Mr. Luigi was not surprised. He
-evidently knew something to account for her agitation. He sat looking at
-her, bending towards her with visible expectation of something. It was
-no mystery to him.
-
-“Sir--young man,” cried Aunt Milly, with a gasp, “I do not know you; you
-are a stranger, a foreigner; you have nothing to do with this place.
-What, in the name of heaven, is it that you have to do with mine or me?”
-
-Mr. Luigi’s countenance fell. He was bitterly disappointed; it was
-evident in his face. He drew a long breath and clasped his hands
-together, half in resignation, half appealing against some hard fate.
-“Ah!” he said, “I did hope otherwise--is it, indeed, indeed, that you
-know not _me_?”
-
-Aunt Milly gave a cry half of terror. “I recognise your voice,” she
-said. “I see gleams in your face of faces I know. I am going out of my
-wits with bewilderment and trouble; but as sure as you are there before
-me, I know no more who you are than does the child who cannot speak.”
-
-Mr. Luigi made no reply for some minutes. Then he made some exclamations
-in Italian, scarcely knowing, I am sure, what he was saying. Then he
-remembered himself. “Thing most strange! thing most terrible!” cried the
-young man; “not even now!--not even now!” and he looked round to us with
-such distress and amazement in his face, and with such an involuntary
-call for our sympathy, though we knew nothing about it, that his look
-went to my heart. Aunt Milly saw it, and was confounded by it. His
-genuine wonder and strange grieved consciousness that she ought to have
-known this secret, whatever it was, stopped her questions upon her lips.
-She sat leaning forward looking at him, struck dumb by his looks. I was
-so excited by the evident reserve on both sides, which implied the
-existence of a third person whom neither would name, that I burst into
-it, on the spur of the moment, without thinking whether what I said was
-sensible or foolish. “Who?” I cried, “who is the other person that
-knows?”
-
-Both of them started violently; then their eyes met in a strange look of
-intelligence. Aunt Milly fell back in her chair trembling dreadfully,
-trembling so much that her teeth chattered. Mr. Luigi rose. “I am at
-Madame’s disposition,” he said softly; “but what can I say? It is better
-I be gone while I do not harm Madame, and make her ill. Pardon! it is
-not I who am to blame!”
-
-Saying so, he took Aunt Milly’s hand, kissed it, and turned to the door.
-She called him back faintly. “Stop, I have not asked you rightly,” said
-poor Aunt Milly. “Could not you tell me, without minding anybody else?
-Are you--are you?--oh! _who_ are you? I do beseech you tell me. If wrong
-is done you, I have no hand in it. What is there to prevent you telling
-me?”
-
-“Ah, pardon. I know my duty,” said the young man. “If she _will_ reject
-me--then! but it is yet too early. I wait--I expect--she has not yet
-said it to me.”
-
-Aunt Milly gathered herself up gradually, with a strange fluttered look
-in her eyes. “_Reject_ you! God bless us! it is some mistake, after all.
-Do you know who it is you are speaking of? Do you know if it is my
-sister Sarah? She is my elder sister, ten years older than me,--old
-enough to be your mother--is it she? or, oh, God help us! is it a
-mistake?”
-
-Mr. Luigi turned towards me for a moment, with a face melted out of all
-reserve, into such affectionateness and emotion as I scarcely ever saw
-on a man’s face. When she named her sister’s age, he said, “Ah!” with a
-tone as if her words went to his heart. But that was all. He shook his
-head. He said, “No more, no more,” and went slowly but steadily away. It
-was no mistake. What she said conveyed no information to him. He knew
-_that_ Sarah’s age and all about her, better than her sister did, or I
-was mistaken. What he said, and still more what he looked, brought a
-strong sudden impression to my mind. I don’t know yet how I can be
-right--if I am right it is the strangest thing in the world; but I know
-it darted into my head that morning when Luigi’s face melted out so
-strongly, and that cry which explained nothing came from his heart.
-
-In the meantime, however, poor Aunt Milly sat wringing her hands and
-more troubled than ever, repeating to herself bits of the conversation
-which had just passed, and bits of other conversations which we knew
-nothing about. Harry and I, a little uncomfortable, still tried to
-occupy ourselves so that we should not hear anything she did not want us
-to hear; but we did not wish to leave her either. At last Harry went out
-altogether and left her alone with me, and by degrees she calmed down. I
-do not wonder she was painfully excited. There could be little doubt
-some strange, unnatural secret was concealed in her house.
-
-“But you heard him say _reject_,” said Aunt Milly,--“if she rejected
-him--do you feel quite sure he understood my last question? Not knowing
-a language very well makes a wonderful difference; and what if he
-supposed my sister a _young_ woman, Milly? When I began to be troubled
-about this business, I couldn’t but think that it was some old lover
-Sarah was afraid of meeting, forgetting the lapse of time. She was a
-great beauty once, you know. How do you suppose, now, an old woman could
-_reject_ a young man?”
-
-“But there are other meanings of the word than as it is between young
-women and young men,” said I; “he might mean _disown_.”
-
-“He might mean _disown_,” repeated Aunt Milly slowly,--“_disown_; but,
-dear, dear child,” she cried, immediately throwing off her first puzzled
-hypothesis, and falling back at once into the real subject of her
-trouble, “what can he be to Sarah that she could _disown_ him? Before
-you can disown a person he must belong to you. How could Mr. Luigi
-belong to my sister? but, to be sure, it is folly to put such questions
-to you that know nothing about it. Milly, dear, I’ll have to go home.”
-
-“I am very, very sorry you are going home disappointed,” said I.
-
-“Yes,” said Aunt Milly, with a great sigh, “it is hard to think one’s
-somehow involved in doing wrong, my dear; it’s hard to live in the house
-with your nearest friend, and not to know any more of her than if she
-were a stranger. What was I saying? I never said so much to any creature
-before. I take you as if you belonged to me, though you scarcely know me
-yet, Milly. I’d like you to settle to come out as soon as possible,
-dear. I’d like you to see Sarah, and tell me what you think.
-Perhaps--there is no telling--she might say something to _you_.”
-
-“But will she be pleased to know about us?” said I.
-
-“It was _her_ desire to seek for you,” said Aunt Milly. “She thought of
-that, somehow, just before this trouble came on. Sometimes it has come
-into my mind, that she thought if she found your father, he would have
-protected her somehow. I can’t tell: it is all a great mystery to me.”
-
-And so she went away after a while, looking very sorrowful; but came
-back to tell me to put my bonnet on and come with her to Mr.
-Cresswell’s, who was to drive her home. On our way there I suddenly felt
-her grasp my arm and point forward a little way before us, where Mr.
-Luigi was walking slowly along the road by Sara Cresswell’s side. Aunt
-Milly came almost to a dead stop, looking at them. They were not
-arm-in-arm, nor did they look as if they had met _on purpose_. I dare
-say it was only by accident. Sara, as usual, was dressed in a great
-velvet jacket, much larger and wider than the one she wore indoors, and
-held her little head high, as if she quite meant to impress an idea of
-her dignity upon the Italian, who had to stoop down a long way, and
-perhaps did stoop down more than Aunt Milly and I saw to be exactly
-necessary. They went the length of the street together, quite
-unconscious of the critics behind them, and then separated, Mr. Luigi
-marching off at a very brisk pace, and Sara continuing her way home. We
-came up to her just as she reached her own door. She was certainly a
-very pretty creature, and looked so fresh and blooming in the morning
-air that I could not have scolded her a great deal, though I own I had a
-very good mind to do my best in that way, while we were walking behind.
-The moment she saw us she took guilt to herself. Her face glowed into
-the most overpowering blush, and the little parasol in her hand fell out
-of her trembling fingers. But, of course, her spirit did not forsake
-her. She was not the person to yield to any such emergency.
-
-“We have been walking after you for a long time,” said dear Aunt Milly,
-in a voice which I have no doubt she supposed to be severe. “I should
-have called you to wait for us, had I not seen you were otherwise
-engaged.”
-
-“Oh! then you saw Mr. Luigi, godmamma?” said Sara, quite innocently. “He
-says he thinks he has found out where the Countess Sermoneta is.”
-
-“The Countess Sermoneta!--oh, child, child, how can you speak so to
-me?” cried Aunt Milly. “I don’t believe there is any such person in the
-world. I believe he only makes a fuss about a name, no one ever heard
-of, to cover his real designs, whatever they may be.”
-
-“Godmamma!” cried Sara, with a flash of fury; “perhaps it will be better
-to come indoors,” cried the little wicked creature (as Aunt Milly calls
-her); “nobody, that I ever heard of, took away people’s characters in
-the open street.”
-
-Aunt Milly went in quickly, shaking her head and deeply troubled. The
-renewal of this subject swept Sara’s enormity out of her head. We
-followed, Sara bidding me precede her with a sort of affronted grandeur,
-which, I confess, was a little amusing to me. When we came into the
-dining-room, where Aunt Milly went first, the little girl confronted us
-both, very ready to answer anything we had to say, and confute us to our
-faces. But much to Sara’s surprise, and perhaps annoyance, Aunt Milly
-did not say a word on the subject. She shook her head again more
-energetically than ever. She was so much shaken on this one subject,
-that other matters evidently glided out of her mind, whenever she was
-recalled to this.
-
-“No, no! depend upon it there’s no Countess Sermoneta. I believed in it
-at first, naturally, as everybody else did. It may be a lady, but it
-isn’t an Italian lady. No, no,” said Aunt Milly, mournfully; “he knows
-better. He said nothing, you may be sure, about _her_ to me.”
-
-At this moment Mr. Cresswell entered the room, and a little after the
-brougham came to the door. There was nothing more said on the subject.
-Sara saw them drive away, with a flutter of fear, I could see; but she
-need not have been afraid. Aunt Milly had returned into the
-consideration of her own mystery, which swallowed up Sara’s. I do not
-think, for my own part, that I had very Christian feelings towards Mr.
-Luigi as I went home.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER III.
-
-
-For a few days after I was occupied entirely with my own affairs. We had
-promised to go to the Park to see that strange sister Sarah, who
-troubled Aunt Milly’s mind so much; and we had, of course, to make some
-little preparations for going--more, indeed, than were very convenient
-at such a time, as you may very well suppose. However, Aunt Connor, who
-had not paid the last half year’s interest, sent it just then, “all in a
-lump,” as she said herself, “thinking it would do you more good;” as
-indeed it did, though perhaps poor Aunt Connor had other motives than
-that one for not sending it just when it was due. Harry was quite
-pleased at the thought of going to the Park. He got leave of absence for
-a few days; and, naturally, it was a satisfaction to him, after feeling
-that he had been obliged to keep his wife in the shade so long, to say
-that it was to my relations we were going. And what with all the
-preparations for his going away as well, I was so very busy that I got
-little leisure to think. It is very common to say what good
-opportunities for thought one has in working at one’s needle--and it is
-very true so far as quiet, leisurely work is concerned; but when it
-happens to be making shirts and such things--and you know, with most
-men, merely to _say_ they are made at home is enough to make them feel
-as if they did not fit,--it is quite a different matter. I was too busy,
-both mind and fingers, to do much thinking; and that was far better for
-me than if I had found more leisure. I used to go up to Lizzie’s room,
-which we called the nursery, and work there. Baby sat on the carpet,
-well protected with cushions, and furnished with things to play with. He
-was not very particular--his playthings were of a very humble and
-miscellaneous order; but I am sure he was as happy as a little king.
-
-“And eh, isn’t it grand that his birthday’s come before the Captain
-gangs away? He’ll, maybe, be back,” said Lizzie, peering into my face
-with a sidelong look, “before another year.”
-
-“Hush!” said I, hastily; “but you must remember, Lizzie, to be
-particularly nice and tidy, and to look as if you were twenty, at least,
-when we go to the Park.”
-
-Here Lizzie drew herself up a little. “I’ve never been among a housefu’
-o’ servants,” said Lizzie, “that’s true--but I’ve been wi’ a leddy, and
-that suld learn folk manners better nor a’ the flunkeys in the world.
-For Menico says, as well as I can understand him, that there’s twa
-men-servants, and as mony maids as would fill a house. Eh, mem, wouldn’t
-it be a great vexation to see a wheen idle folk aye in the road?
-Menico’s no like a common man; there’s no an article he canna do; but as
-for just flunkeys to hand the plates and do about a house--eh, if it was
-me, I would think they werena men.”
-
-“But Miss Mortimer’s man is not a flunkey; it was he who came with us in
-the omnibus,” said I.
-
-“Yon _gentleman_?” said Lizzie, in great dismay. “I thought he was a
-minister; and eh, to think of _him_ puttin’ on fires and waitin’ at the
-table! I would far sooner be a woman mysel’.”
-
-“And have you any objection to be a woman apart from that?” said I. “I
-did not think you had been so ambitious, Lizzie. What would _you_ do if
-you were a man?”
-
-Lizzie’s colour rose, and her work fell from her hand. “I would gang to
-the wars with the Captain,” cried the girl, “I would aye make a spring
-in before him where danger was. I would send word every day how he did,
-and what he was doing. I would stand by our ain flag if they hacked me
-in pieces. I wouldna let the Hielanders stay still, no a moment!--I
-would dash them down on the enemy wi’ a’ their bayonets, and cry
-‘Scotland and the Queen!’ and if we were killed, wha’s heeding!--it
-would be worth a man’s while to die!”
-
-This outburst was more than I could bear. I forgot to think it was only
-Lizzie, a woman and a child, that spoke. I put my hands over my eyes to
-shut out the prospect she brought before me, but only saw the picture
-all the clearer, as my hand, with all its warm pulses beating, shut out
-the daylight. I could see Harry rushing before them with his sword
-drawn. I could hear his voice pealing out over their heads; I could see
-the smoke close over him and swallow him up. Ah, heaven!--pictures and
-stories are made out of such scenes. This creature by my side had flamed
-up into exulting enthusiasm at the thought. How many hearts attended
-those charging regiments, breaking against each other, heart upon
-heart! It came to my heart to wonder, suddenly, whether there might not
-be some young Russian woman, like me, imagining that fight. Her husband
-and my Harry might meet under those dreadful flags,--she and I, would
-not we meet, too, in our agony? I held out my arms to her with a cry of
-anguish--we were sisters, though _they_ were foes.
-
-When I looked up Lizzie was crying bitterly, partly with her own
-excitement, partly, because she saw how cruel her suggestion had been to
-me. She did not mean it so, poor child. Baby sat playing all the time
-among his cushions, crowing to himself over the bright-coloured ball he
-had found under his heap of toys. I thought to myself he would laugh all
-the same whatever happened, and wondered how I should bear to hear him.
-But that was enough, that was too much. I stopped myself, as best I
-could, from going on any further. I got some linen that had to be cut
-out, and rose up to do it;--it was very delicate work. If I were not
-very careful, a snip of the scissors, too much or too little, might
-spoil all the stuff; for Harry was very fastidious, you know, about all
-his things, like most young men. It took some trouble to steady my hand
-enough--but I did manage it. I wonder what the Russian woman did, to
-calm _her_ agitation down.
-
-Lizzie recovered very hastily when she saw what I was doing. She picked
-up her work, and sewed for a long time so silently and swiftly, that the
-snip of my scissors and the movement of her arm, as she drew through her
-needle, were the only sounds, except those which baby made, to be heard
-in the room. At last she took courage to address me with great humility,
-asking only if it was “the day after the morn” that we were going to the
-Park?
-
-I nodded my head in return, and Lizzie took courage to go on. The next
-question was whether the Italian gentleman would be there?
-
-“The Italian gentleman! what has he to do with the Miss Mortimers?”
-cried I.
-
-“Eh, it’s no me said it,” cried Lizzie, in alarm; “but yesterday, the
-day the leddy was here Menico was a’ the gate out there, ance errand wi’
-a letter. I said what way did it no go to the post? and he said the post
-wouldna do. But I wouldna let on the leddy was here.”
-
-“He went out with a letter, did he?” said I, in much surprise. “Was that
-where he was all day? I did not see him about till it was dark.”
-
-“There maun be another leddy?” said Lizzie, inquisitively; “and he gaed
-her some grand name or another. He’s awfu’ funny wi’ his names. He ca’s
-baby _Signorino_ and _ragazzino_, and I dinna ken a’ what. I looked them
-up in the dictionary, and they were a’ right meanings enough. But it
-wasna Miss Mortimer he ca’ed the other leddy. Eh, mem, isn’t Menico
-getting grand at his English? and I’me aye improving mysel’ too,” said
-Lizzie, with a little blush and awkward droop of her head.
-
-I was not much in the humour for laughing at poor Lizzie’s
-self-complacency; but I was rather anxious to hear all the gossip I
-could get for Aunt Milly’s sake. I asked immediately “Were they kind to
-Menico at the Park?”
-
-Lizzie hesitated a little in her answer. “He’s rael clever at speaking,”
-she said, apologetically,--I suppose finding it rather hard to go back
-so soon after her laudation--“but when it’s a long story it’s no so easy
-to ken--no _a’_ he means. But I’m no thinking they were very good to
-him--for he was awfu’ angry when he came hame. And eh, to see him at his
-dinner! You would think he hadna seen meat for a week. It’s no a guid
-account of a house--no meaning ony harm of a great house like the Park,”
-said Lizzie, reflectively,--“when a man comes awfu’ hungry hame.”
-
-Here there was a little pause while Lizzie threaded her needle. I don’t
-know whether she was indulging in any melancholy anticipations of the
-hospitality of the Park. However, presently she resumed her story again.
-
-“And eh, mem! far mair than that,” said Lizzie, making a fresh start,
-“he brought back the very same letter just as it was--it might be
-because the leddy was out, or I dinna ken what it might be; but I saw
-him gi’e it back to the gentleman. And the gentleman, instead of being
-angry, he just took the letter and shook his head, and set fire to it at
-the candle. The door was open, and I saw him do it as I came up the
-stairs. It gaed to my heart to see him burning the good letter,” said
-Lizzie; “there was, maybe, something in’t that somebody might have likit
-to hear.”
-
-“But, Lizzie, don’t you know nobody has any business with a letter
-except the person who wrote it, and the person it is addressed to?” said
-I.
-
-I spoke, I confess, in an admonitory spirit. We did not get very many
-letters, but Harry was sadly careless of those he did get.
-
-“Eh, but foreigners are no like other folk,” cried Lizzie; “there’s
-something awfu’ queer in burning a letter, and it a’ sealed up. I
-couldna find it in my heart;--and when it’s a long story, it’s awfu’
-fickle to understand Domenico, the half o’ what he says.”
-
-Lizzie ended with a sigh of unsatisfied curiosity. Perhaps, if I could
-have done it, I might have been as anxious to cross-question Domenico as
-she.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IV.
-
-
-Our little journey was arranged by Aunt Milly in the most comfortable
-way she could think of for us. Harry would not consent to let her send
-the carriage all the way. The railway was close to us, and it passed
-about two miles from the Park, where there was a little station; and the
-carriage was to meet us there. It was a very short journey, certainly;
-but I remember when we were all in the train,--all--every one of us,--a
-family entire and close together,--and especially at the moment when we
-were passing through the tunnel, and felt in the darkness more entirely
-separated from the world,--a sudden thought seized upon me: “Oh, if we
-were only going on, anywhere, anywhere to the end of the world!”
-Plunging through the darkness, with Harry sitting close by me, and baby
-on my knee, and nobody able to approach or stop us--going on all
-together! All sorts of people have their fancies, no doubt. I daresay
-mine were very homely ones; but I shall never forget the strange thrill
-that came upon my heart as this wild possibility seized me. When we came
-slowly into the daylight, and the train stopped, and the door of the
-carriage flew open, and dear Aunt Milly herself appeared to welcome us,
-I woke up with a little shiver into real life again. Ah me! one cannot
-dart into the bowels of the earth and hide one’s self. But life and duty
-somehow looked cold at me with their piercing daylight eyes after that
-thought.
-
-Everything familiar stopped short and broke off when we got into the
-carriage. Aunt Milly was not a great lady. I don’t think anything could
-ever have made her a great lady; but it was clear she had been a person
-of consideration for many a year. I never had been in such a carriage
-before; indeed, I don’t think I had ever been in any carriage but a
-public one, for, of course, Aunt Connor was not rich enough to have a
-carriage of her own. But when I sat down by Aunt Milly’s side, I could
-not help feeling immediately that it all belonged to me. It was a
-strange feeling, and indeed, if nobody will be shocked, it was a very
-pleasing feeling. Instead of making me discontented, somehow it quite
-reconciled me to being poor. My own opinion is, that people of good
-family, or whatever is equivalent to good family,--people that know they
-belong to a higher class, whether other people know it or not,--always
-bear poverty best. It does not humiliate them as it does people who have
-always been poor. I think I could have stood any remarks upon my bonnet,
-or even baby’s pelisse, with great equanimity after my visit to the
-Park; being poor looked so much more like an accidental circumstance
-after that. Perhaps I don’t explain very well what I mean, so I will
-just state it plainly, and then you may understand, or disagree with it,
-just as you choose. The higher one’s rank is, the better one can bear
-being poor. There! it is not the common opinion, but I believe it all
-the same for that.
-
-And here was the Park, the very same great modern house that stood
-(leaning on the trees) in poor papa’s drawing, with two wings drawn out
-from the main body of the building, and a curious archway and a little
-paved court at the side before you came to the great door. We went to
-the great door as we were strangers, and I could see the grave face of
-my omnibus acquaintance peeping through a round bow-window close to the
-door before he admitted us, very solemnly and with profoundest abstract
-air. I wonder if he could remember us. His face looked as blankly
-respectful as if any idea on any subject whatever would somehow be
-unbecoming the dignity of the Park. Aunt Milly, who had gradually become
-fidgety, now took hold of my hand and drew me forward quickly. I went
-with her, a little astonished, but with no clear idea where I was going.
-She took me into a very long, very large room, with a great many tall
-windows on one side, a room so big as to look a perfect maze of
-furniture to me. I saw nobody in it, and did not think of it as being a
-room in common use. She had brought me to see some picture, no doubt.
-But Aunt Milly hurried me up this long room, with her hand upon my
-wrist, to a screen that seemed drawn so as to shelter one side of the
-fireplace. When we came in front of this, I was greatly startled to see
-a lady, with large knitting-pins in her hands, rise slowly from an
-arm-chair. There was nothing extraordinary in her look; she had fine
-features, I suppose,--I don’t think I know, very well, what fine
-features are,--she had white hair, and a pretty cap with soft-coloured
-ribbons, and a strange, _studied_, soft-coloured dress. I noticed all
-this unconsciously, in the midst of the nervous and startled sensation
-that I had in being brought in front of her so suddenly. She put both
-her knitting-pins into one hand, and held out the other to me. Then she
-bent forward a little, meaning me to kiss her, which I did with much
-awe and with no great sensation of pleasure. Her hand was cold, and so
-was her cheek. I could scarcely help shrinking away from her touch. Then
-she spoke, and I, being quite unprepared for it, was still more
-startled. Her voice was a kind of whisper, very strange and unpleasant;
-all the s’s came out sharp, with a kind of hiss. I suppose it was
-because she was so entirely used to it herself that Aunt Milly never
-mentioned it to me.
-
-“So you are Richard Mortimer’s daughter?” she said. “Sit down: I am very
-glad to see you. It is I that have been so anxious about finding you for
-some time past. But where is your husband? I want him to come as well as
-you.”
-
-“He is in the hall. He will be here presently, Sarah,” said Aunt Milly.
-“I told Ellis to show him in, and the dear baby, too; but I could not
-keep back Milly from you for a moment. I knew you would be anxious to
-see her at once.”
-
-“I wish to see her husband too,” said Miss Mortimer. “So your name is
-Milly? Because it was our principal family name, I suppose? Your father
-was a great man for family matters, because _his_ father was such a
-leveller; otherwise I should have thought he would have called you after
-me.”
-
-Why, I wondered? but indeed I had very little inclination to speak.
-
-“I want to see your husband particularly. I should like you to live
-here. Milly says he is going to the Crimea,” said Miss Mortimer. “I hope
-he’s a reasonable man. Why shouldn’t he leave the army at once? _I_ want
-him here. You were not the heir to an estate like the Park when he got
-orders for the Crimea. I see no reason in the world why he should not
-sell out and stay at home.”
-
-I think she went on saying more, but I did not hear her; the great room
-swam in my eyes; she seemed all fading away into pale circles. I lost
-hold of the chair or something I was standing by. I don’t remember
-anything else till I felt some water dashed on my face, and gradually
-the pale circles cleared away, and I was in the same room again. I had
-no idea what had happened to me. I was lying on a sofa, though, now,
-with my face all wet, and a dreadful singing and buzzing in my ears, and
-Harry was there. I found out I had fainted. I never did such a thing in
-all my life before; how very foolish of me! and just when she was
-talking, too, about that--that chance. I caught hold of Harry’s fingers
-tight: “Go and speak to her!” I cried out. I could not keep still until
-he went, for I could see the screen, and knew she was there.
-
-When he disappeared behind the screen, and when, after a moment, Aunt
-Milly followed, always keeping her eyes on me, I lay perfectly still,
-grasping my two hands in each other. My mind was all seething up, as if
-in a fever, round what she had said. I was conscious of nothing else. I
-could not hear what they were saying now for the noise in my ears; but
-as I lay still a strange succession of feelings came over me. It was
-like so many breezes of wind, each cooler,--nay, I mean colder,--than
-the other. First it occurred to me what other people would say of him,
-of Harry, whom no one now durst breathe a doubt upon; then I thought of
-him fighting with himself for my sake, trying to put down his manhood
-and his honour to save breaking his wife’s heart; then I came to myself
-last of all. Would I? could I? I groaned aloud in my anguish. Oh,
-Russian woman, what would _you_ say? There are plenty to be killed and
-sacrificed. Shall we let our children’s fathers go, to be lost in that
-smoke and battle? Harry burst out to me from behind the screen when I
-was in this darkness. I never saw him look as he looked then. He took my
-two hands and cried out in an appeal and remonstrance, “Milly, do _you_
-say so?” looking down at me with his eyes all in a blaze. I could not
-bear it. I put him away--thrust him away. They say I cried out to God in
-my despair. I cannot tell anything that I said but “Go!” Oh, Russian
-woman, I wonder if you made up your mind as I did! No, not if it were to
-break my heart; we could die, all of us, when the good Lord pleased; but
-the good Lord never pleased that one of us should make the other fail.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER V.
-
-
-I felt ill and shaken all the rest of that day. It was some time before
-they would let me get up from the sofa, and I quite remember how very
-strange it was to lie there in the great daylight room, with the sky
-looming in through the great window, and to watch, always so close by,
-and yet so distant, that screen which was drawn out by the side of the
-fire. I could not keep my eyes from that harmless piece of furniture.
-Aunt Milly kept coming and going, constantly talking to cheer me up, and
-bring things to show me. But no sound came from the screen. There, in
-that little space, shut off and shaded out of the centre of her home,
-sat the woman who already fascinated me with an influence I could not
-explain. Without knowing what I was doing--indeed, even I may say
-against my will,--strange recollections of stories I had read came up to
-my mind; about people in masks going whispering through an evil life,
-about the veiled prophet in the poem, about secret hidden creatures
-suspected of all manner of harm, but never found out, or betrayed. There
-she was, within three paces of me, concealed and silent,--or was it not
-rather watchful, lurking, with her bloodless smile and her shut up
-heart? My imagination, perhaps, is always too active; somehow it quite
-overpowered me that day. It seized upon Miss Sarah Mortimer’s looks and
-her voice, and the strange separation which she made by that screen
-between herself and the world. She was different--entirely
-different--from that old ghastly Miss Mortimer whom I used to dream of
-in my grandfather’s house; that one with her hair all mixed with grey,
-and her dark careless dress, sitting by the fire with the ghosts of the
-past about her, was a pleasant recollection in face of this. The great
-beauty, deserted of all the world and fallen into solitude, had
-something pathetic in her loneliness. But behind that screen there was
-no pathos that I could see; nothing human, I had almost said. What folly
-to speak so! To anybody’s eyes but mine, I daresay there was only an old
-lady very prettily and carefully dressed, everything about her looking
-as if it were intended to repeat and reproduce the effect of her white
-hair; soft colours with clouds of something white coming over them. But
-I could not look at her in that way. I was in awe and afraid when I
-looked at the screen. It was a comfort to get out of the room, to go
-upstairs, where after a while Aunt Milly took me. But I could not forget
-her even upstairs. There she sat in her armchair, stony-eyed, knitting
-like one of the Fates,--or was it spin they did?--and that screen
-drawing a magical, dreadful shadow round her chair.
-
-Aunt Milly had prepared our rooms for us with the greatest care, that
-was very evident. There was the daintiest little bed for baby, all new
-and fresh, evidently bought for him, and quite a basketful of new toys,
-which already he was doing his best to pull all to pieces. Oh, such
-bright, luxurious rooms! I felt my heart grow a little cold as I looked
-at them. Neither Harry nor Aunt Milly had said a word to me on the
-subject. They thought they could deceive me, I suppose; but the moment I
-saw these apartments, don’t you think I could see what they were planned
-out for? I was to be taken there when he went away.
-
-“And, my dear, what do you think of your Aunt Sarah?” said her kind
-sister, looking rather wistfully into my face.
-
-I was so foolish that I was half afraid to answer. How could I tell that
-our words were not heard behind the screen yonder? And as for meeting
-her eyes I could not have done that for the world.
-
-“But you know she is not my Aunt Sarah,” said I. “It is a love name,
-dear Aunt Milly. I--I don’t know Miss Mortimer yet; you must let me keep
-it for you.”
-
-“Hush! you have not known me much longer!” cried Aunt Milly, “No such
-thing, child! we are both the same relation to you. Poor dear Sarah! I
-forgot to tell you about her voice. Isn’t it very sad she should have
-lost her beautiful voice? She is very clever too, Milly,” said Aunt
-Milly, with a sigh. “When you know her better you will admire her very
-much.”
-
-“But you know she jilted poor papa,” said I, trying to laugh and shake
-off my dread of the veiled woman downstairs.
-
-“My dear! she jilted half the county!” said Aunt Milly, rather solemnly
-and not without a little pride. “Your Aunt Sarah was the greatest beauty
-that ever was seen when she was as young as you.”
-
-This speech made me smile in spite of myself. Dear Aunt Milly, perhaps,
-had been a little slighted by the county. She had no compunction about
-her sister’s prowess. I don’t know that I felt very sorry for her
-victims myself, even poor papa, I fear. But, ah me! what kind of a woman
-was this, I wonder, that had been an enchantress in her day! She was an
-enchantress still. She charmed me, as a serpent, I could suppose, might
-charm some poor creature. I wonder if there was any pity in her, any
-feeling that there was a God and a heaven, and not merely the
-century-old ceiling with the Mortimers’ arms on it, over her where she
-sat? I don’t believe she cared. I don’t think there was anything in the
-world but her own will and inclination, whatever it might be, that ruled
-her in her dreadful solitude. I wonder when she looked across her
-knitting at such a human creature as Aunt Milly how she felt; whether it
-ever came into her head to wonder which of them was contrary to nature?
-But I don’t suppose Miss Mortimer cared anything about nature. In this
-wonderful world, all so throbbing with life and affection, I think she
-must have known nothing but herself.
-
-Thinking like this, you may suppose I could not deceive Aunt Milly to
-make her think I admired her sister. I kept off speaking of her; which,
-of course, though not quite so unpleasant, tells one’s mind clearly
-enough. Aunt Milly gave a little sigh.
-
-“My dear, I see you don’t take to Sarah just at once. I was in hopes if
-you had taken to each other she might, perhaps, have told you something
-of what is on her mind. Because, you know, after all we have heard,
-something must be on her mind, whether she shows it or not. I am afraid
-it is all beginning again now, Milly; but somehow she hasn’t let her
-courage down as she did when that young man was about before. I suppose
-she’s more prepared now. She drove out quite calm yesterday, just as
-usual; though Mr. Luigi’s servant was out here with a letter the very
-day I saw his master at your house.”
-
-“So I heard,” said I.
-
-“So you heard! Dear! How did you hear? I know things spread in the most
-dreadful way,” said Aunt Milly, in great distress; “but to think that
-should have reached Chester already! What did you hear?”
-
-“I heard it only from Lizzie, my little maid,” said I, pointing to the
-door of the other room. “Mr. Luigi’s servant and she are great
-friends.”
-
-Aunt Milly followed the movement of my hand with her eyes, a little
-awe-stricken. “She must speak his language, for he knows no English,”
-she said, with involuntary respect. “But dear, dear, she’s only a child!
-To be sure she’ll go and publish it all in the servants’ hall. But
-speaking of that, my dear, you ought to have a proper nurse. I felt very
-nervous about baby when I saw her carrying him. She may be big, you
-know, but she’s only a child.”
-
-Here Lizzie, either because she had heard us, or by some sudden impulse
-of her own, knocked pretty loud at the door. I went to it a little
-timidly, rather apprehensive that she had been listening, and meant to
-defend herself. I did Lizzie great injustice however. She was standing
-in a paroxysm of joyful impatience on the other side of the door. I
-don’t believe the most injurious expression applied to herself could
-have reached Lizzie’s ears at that moment. She had her great arms
-stretched out, stooping over little Harry. Her face was perfectly
-radiant and flushed with delight. On they came, baby tottering on his
-own little limbs, half triumphant, half terrified, Lizzie with her wings
-spread out, ready to snatch him up the moment he faltered. Anybody may
-imagine what I did. I dropped down on the floor and held out my arms to
-him, and forgot all my troubles for the moment. When he came tottering
-into my arms, the touch of his little hands swept all the cares and
-sorrows out of the world. It was not for long. But a minute’s joy is a
-wonderful cordial; it strengthens one’s heart.
-
-“And oh, mem!” cried Lizzie, lifting her apron to her eyes, “the
-Captain’ll see him afore he gangs away!”
-
-“Go and fetch him,” cried Aunt Milly, turning her out of the room. Aunt
-Milly was nearly as delighted as she was; but she saw it was hard upon
-me to be continually reminded that Harry was to be gone so soon. By way
-of putting it out of my mind, she began such a lecture about letting
-babies walk too soon, and about weak ankles and bowed legs and all kinds
-of horrors, that I snatched my boy up on my knee, and was as much
-alarmed as I had been overjoyed. When Harry came, and found me half
-frightened to allow baby to exhibit his new accomplishment, and Aunt
-Milly doing her best to soften down her own declarations, and convince
-me that she referred to babies in general, and not to my boy, he burst
-into fits of laughter. I rather think he kissed us all round, Aunt Milly
-and all. He was in very high spirits that day. It did not occur to him
-what a struggle I had come through before I overcame Miss Mortimer’s
-temptation; he was contented to think I had fainted from heat and
-excitement and all the fatigue I had been exposed to of late; and it was
-a comfort to him to have my real voluntary consent to his going away.
-Then this was to be my home, and here was my dear kind friend beside me.
-His heart rose, he laughed out his amusement and pleasure with the
-freedom of a young man in the height of his strength and hope. The sound
-startled the unaccustomed walls. I saw Aunt Milly look at him with a
-kind of delighted surprise and pleasure. Youth had not been here for
-long. I wondered did manhood, after Harry’s fashion of it, belong to the
-Mortimers at all? Many a day since, sitting in these silent rooms, the
-echo of Harry’s laugh has come back to me ringing like silver bells. Ah,
-hush! we shall all laugh when he comes back.
-
-But when Lizzie came to take her charge, the expression of the girl’s
-face had completely changed. She took the child away with a certain
-frightened gravity that had a great effect upon me. Aunt Milly had left
-me by this time, and Harry had gone out to see the grounds, leaving me
-to rest. Resting was not very much in my way; of course I got up from
-the sofa the moment they were gone. What good would it do me, does
-anybody suppose, to lie there and murder myself with thinking? I went
-after Lizzie to ask her what was wrong. Lizzie was very slow to answer.
-There was “naething wrang; she wasna minding. The man in blacks had
-asked if she was the nurse or the nursery-maid. But it’s no my place to
-answer questions,” said Lizzie, with indignation, “and thae English
-they’re that saucy, they pretend they dinna ken what I’m saying. Eh, I
-would just like to let them ken, leddies and gentlemen ay ken grand what
-I’m saying! but they’ve nae education: ’Menico says that himsel’.”
-
-“But what does ’Menico know about education, Lizzie?” said I.
-
-Lizzie looked much affronted. “He mayna maybe ken _English_,” she said,
-“but he may be a good scholar for a’ that. The tither maids just gape
-and cry La! when he takes the dictionary, and laugh at every word he
-says. He says they’ve nae education, thae English. He’s no’ a common
-servant-man like that man in blacks. He kens a’ the gentlemen’s business
-and what he’s wantin’, and everything about it. Eh,” cried Lizzie,
-opening her eyes wide, and glancing behind her with involuntary caution,
-“do you think yon would be _her_?”
-
-“Who?” said I. Was it possible that Lizzie knew?
-
-“Mem!” said Lizzie, with national unconscious skill and the deepest
-earnestness, “do you think there’s ony witches in this country, like
-what there was lang syne?”
-
-I was a little startled by the question; it brought back to my mind in
-an instant that extraordinary picture which had so great an effect on my
-own imagination,--the veiled woman at her knitting with the screen
-behind her chair.
-
-“Or the Evil Eye,” continued Lizzie, with a little gasp of visionary
-terror; “oh dinna say, if ye please, that I’m to bring _him_ into yon
-muckle room! for I would do some ill to the house, or her, or
-myself--and would be carried, and no ken what I was doing, if she put
-any of her cantrips upon our bairn!”
-
-“Lizzie!” cried I, “child, you forget what you are saying, and where you
-are!”
-
-“Oh no, no’ me!” cried Lizzie with vehement tears in her eyes; “but,
-Mem, it maun be her; there’s nae other leddy except our leddy in this
-house. And if I was never to say another word, she’s no canny; I ken
-she’s no canny, if it was only what Domenico says.”
-
-“In the name of wonder what does Domenico say?” cried I, driven to
-despair by the wild words in which there was no meaning. I don’t believe
-she knew herself what the meaning was.
-
-Lizzie stopped short and repeated, with a puzzled and troubled glance at
-me, “When it’s a long story it’s awfu’ fickle to ken,” she said, slowly;
-“but just that yon’s the leddy. Eh, I dinna ken what they ca’ her right,
-nor what ill-will they have at her; but ’Menico, he says--he says--Mem,
-you’ll no be angry, it wasna _me_,--he says she’s the deil himsel’.”
-
-“Lizzie,” said I, in considerable agitation, “try to recollect; Miss
-Milly wants to know; what _does_ Domenico say?”
-
-Lizzie blushed, and made a long pause again. “You see it’s the
-Dictionary, Mem,” she said, with a sigh. “When he’s tired looking up the
-words, he just gi’es a great burst out in the Italian, and thinks he’s
-explained it a’. It’s awfu’ fickle when it’s a lang story; but just it’s
-_her_; and eh! I’m sure she’s no canny by what Domenico says.”
-
-I had to be content with this very unsatisfactory conclusion. It was all
-Lizzie could give me,--it was _her_; and she was a dreaded mysterious
-person against whom the Italian was struggling in vain. I felt a strange
-thrill of curiosity, deeply as my own mind was pre-occupied. Was it a
-melodrama or a tragedy I was about to be present at? The crisis,
-whatever it might be, could not be long delayed. What part were we to
-play in it? why did she want Harry to stay? I did not say anything
-either to him or Aunt Milly of Lizzie’s communication or my own fancies;
-but it seemed to me somehow, when I passed through the rooms or along
-the passages that a certain tingling stillness, the pause before the
-storm, was closing round and round about the house.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VI.
-
-
-“We were interrupted in our talk yesterday,” said Aunt Milly, “but I
-have not forgotten what you said about your little maid. My dear, I
-don’t think it is worth your while to warn her against talking about
-such matters. When they think a thing’s important, they are all the more
-likely to talk.”
-
-“But you don’t know Lizzie,” said I.
-
-“No,” said Aunt Milly, doubtfully. “I always have heard the Scotch were
-faithful servants; but it’s undeniable that they _do_ love to talk.
-Besides, she’s only a child. My dear, has she any particular claim upon
-you?”
-
-“Only that she is an orphan,” said I, “like Harry and me.”
-
-“Ah, dear child! there’s two of you; it does not matter to you,” cried
-Aunt Milly; then she continued, rather anxiously, “I’d like to know,
-however, what she can tell about this, Milly. Ellis told me a confused
-story about a foreign man coming with a letter, and that he insisted on
-seeing the lady--the lady! and couldn’t talk no more sense, Ellis says.
-I understood by the description, it must be that man. There couldn’t be
-two fat foreign serving-men in a quiet county like this; and Carson, ‘as
-happened to be in the hall at the moment,’ Ellis tells me, spoke to him,
-‘and they arguifyed for long in a queer language,’ and then he went
-away. I don’t know any more of it, my dear. This Lizzie of yours, if she
-can understand that man, and he told her of it, I wonder does _she_ know
-any more?”
-
-Then I told her of the further particulars which had come under Lizzie’s
-observation, the letter returned and destroyed. Aunt Milly once more
-grew a good deal excited. She walked about the room with a troubled
-face, and many exclamations; but on the whole it gave her comfort. “My
-dear, she can’t be afraid of him now,” said Aunt Milly; and with this
-piece of consolation she went away strengthened to her many businesses,
-for everything evidently is in her hands. That eldest sister of hers,
-whom I cannot call by any name of love, takes no share in anything.
-When she does talk, she talks as if she were the sole mistress and ruler
-of the house; but Aunt Milly, though I understand they are quite equal
-in their rights, has all the trouble. It is very strange, but I could
-not feel so comfortable about her sending back that letter as Aunt Milly
-did. To tell the plain truth, a very distinct suspicion had entered into
-my mind about her. It flashed upon me when Mr. Luigi was speaking of
-her, and it grew stronger and stronger every hour I spent in the same
-room, though how it could be, was more than by any amount of thinking I
-could divine. I will not say what my fancy was; I was always too
-imaginative. I don’t want to commit myself till I see whether anything
-will occur to bear me out.
-
-The next day was wet, and I had abundant means of seeing Miss Mortimer.
-I think my foolish faint that first day had quite settled me in her
-opinion. She saw I was a nobody from that moment. Accordingly all that
-rainy afternoon I sat by her in the strangest unsocial way. The fire was
-still kept up, though the weather was warm; and Aunt Milly had stationed
-me in her own easy chair, opposite her sister, and commanding the entire
-length of the room so that I could see who entered at the door, though
-Miss Mortimer could neither see or be seen by any one coming in. The
-five great windows were all very naked and bare, the curtains drawn
-back, and the blinds drawn up, according to Miss Mortimer’s fancy; she
-had always an amount of twilight at her command by movement of her
-screen. These five long lines of cold broad light, the cloudy sky
-looking full down upon us, and the blasts of rain driving against the
-cold transparent fence of glass which separated us from that outdoor
-world, where the early flowers hung their heads in the rain, and the
-shrubs cowered and drew together in the fitful gusts of wind, gave an
-extraordinary atmosphere to the picture. Then that long great mirror at
-the end of the room repeated the five windows in strange perspective,
-and reflected all the maze of space and crowd of furniture in bars of
-light and shadow; while here, in the centre, played the uncertain glow
-of the fire, much too warm, and making the air feel unnatural; and close
-before me sat Miss Mortimer with the screen carefully drawn round her
-chair. She had on her usual dress--her muslin scarf or shawl, I forget
-which, lined with pale blue silk, and ribbons of the same colour in her
-cap, and black lace mits upon her thin hands, which, when she happened
-to stop for a moment, she rubbed slowly before the fire. She did not
-talk to me. I understand it was very rarely she talked to any one.
-Silently, as if it were some weird work she was about, she knitted on;
-but sometimes, as I was conscious, lifted her eyes from her knitting,
-and continuing her work all the time, surveyed me as I sat helpless
-before her. Every time the door of the room happened to open she
-repeated this. I felt her stare at me, as she might have stared at a
-mirror, to see who had entered the room; and it is impossible to
-describe how I felt under that look. I durst not answer it by turning my
-eyes upon her; but looking past her at the door, as one naturally does
-when the door of the room opens--and knowing her gaze to be fixed on me,
-I faltered, I trembled, my face burned in spite of myself. This went on
-till, in desperation, I fairly answered her look; then my feelings
-changed. Those blue eyes, which must have paled and chilled with age,
-were gazing with a watchful dread in my face. It was not me she was
-looking at. Her hands went on, in their dreadful inhuman occupation,
-while she found in my face a reflection of who it was that went in, or
-out, by that door behind her. It might be a habit she had got into; but
-I could read in her eyes that she sat there in full expectation of
-somebody or something arriving suddenly, which might startle and
-distress everybody else, but which _she_ knew. Again, I saw the same
-contrast which I had seen between Aunt Milly and Mr. Luigi. This woman,
-like the Italian, was in no perplexity. She was not confused with a
-mystery she could not comprehend, as Aunt Milly was. She knew something
-was coming, and what was coming, and was prepared to defend herself, and
-hide her shame to the death.
-
-Hide her shame! oh, how do I dare say it; how could I venture to say
-that she had disgraced herself, or even to think so? There she sat,
-clothed in a double respect, even by reason of all that made her so
-unlovely and distasteful to me, the real great lady of the house, served
-by everybody, imagining herself quite supreme; the head of the house,
-though she transferred all the trouble of it to other shoulders; Miss
-Mortimer, of the Park, a spotless maiden lady, who might have been, as
-the common story went, had she chosen to marry, almost of any rank she
-pleased. All that I knew; but as I gazed at her, the wild sudden fancy
-that had seized me before, grew stronger and stronger. A kind of
-loathing took possession of me. Shame may be dreadful, must be dreadful;
-but to deserve it, and yet to escape it--to know one’s self guilty, and
-fight all one’s life against the penalty--to shut one’s self up, heart
-and voice, like that in a corner, waiting for the discovery and
-exposure which has become inevitable--and resolute by every lie and
-expedient of falsehood to resist and baffle it--the sight was hideous to
-me. I turned away from her with a feeling of sickness--then in the
-impulse of the moment I spoke.
-
-“Should not you like to take this seat, Miss Mortimer, if you wish to
-see who comes in at the door?”
-
-“How do you know,” she cried, in her strangled voice, “that I wish to
-see who comes in at the door?”
-
-“I can see it in your eyes,” said I. I could not help a little shudder
-as I spoke. Her only answer was to draw a little further back into the
-twilight of her screen. I don’t think she looked at me again; but she
-did something else when Ellis came in the next time, which was quite as
-characteristic. She listened visibly, with an extraordinary intentness;
-her knitting stopped, though her eyes were bent on it. I could fancy she
-must have heard the very vibration of the man’s foot upon the floor, and
-satisfied herself by its sound what it was.
-
-“Miss Milly’s compliments, ma’am, and will you please step into the
-library a moment,” said Ellis to me.
-
-“Who’s in the library, eh?” interrupted Miss Mortimer, before I could
-speak.
-
-Ellis faced round upon her slowly, with evident surprise: “I don’t know
-as it’s nobody, ma’am,” said the man; “Miss Milly has something to show
-the young lady.”
-
-“Who’s in the house? why don’t you answer me? You are making up a
-story,” cried Miss Mortimer, almost with a shriek.
-
-“Nobody, as I know on, but the Captain, as is in the stables, ma’am,
-looking at the colt,” said Ellis, doggedly, “and Miss Milly, as is
-waiting in the library for the young lady, with some pictures to show to
-her, as it looked to me; nor likely to come neither on such a day.”
-
-Instead of resenting this speech as I supposed, Miss Mortimer smiled to
-herself with a nod. She gave a glance out from her screen at the blank
-of cloudy sky and the falling rain. It seemed to soothe her somehow. She
-relapsed back again, and resumed her knitting, without looking at or
-speaking to me. Did it relieve her to be told that nobody was likely to
-come on such a day? Could she imagine a spring shower was motive enough
-to keep the avenging truth away? I cannot tell. Who could tell? I might
-be wronging her cruelly to think of any avenger on his way. But I left
-the room, leaving her there with the blank clouds and rain, with the
-solitary gleam of the decaying fire, in the heavy silence and broad
-light of the vast room. She was standing at bay, grim and desperate; but
-she could actually imagine that the fate which pursued her would be kept
-away by the April shower! I cannot express all the wonder, pity, and
-horror that come over my heart--such strange, strange, inconsequent
-blendings of the dreadful and the foolish were not in any philosophy of
-mine.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VII.
-
-
-I found Aunt Milly in the library with some miniatures spread out before
-her. She wanted to show them to me. I can’t tell very well what had
-suggested this to her. She was kept indoors by the rain, and with this
-standing uneasiness in her mind, Aunt Milly naturally sought for some
-means of returning to a discussion of the subject that engaged all her
-thoughts. She made me sit down by her, and silently put one after
-another before me. I could see clearly enough what she meant. A certain
-family resemblance ran through them all, a resemblance which Aunt Milly
-herself had escaped, and of which I believe there was not a trace in my
-features. But one after another these portraits recalled to me the young
-Italian’s face.
-
-“I ought to tell you,” said Aunt Milly in a tremulous tone, “what has
-occurred to my own mind. I have thought of it for some time, but it’s so
-very unlikely that I never could allow myself to think it. I do believe
-he must be my father’s son. Yes, you may well be surprised. I can’t
-think anything else but that my father must have married and had a son,
-and Sarah somehow had bullied him into leaving the child behind, and
-we’ve been deceivers all this time, and the Park has never been ours.”
-
-“But, dear Aunt Milly,” cried I, “with all these terrible thoughts, why
-don’t you satisfy yourself. If you tell Miss Mortimer how much you have
-found out, she certainly cannot help clearing up the rest.”
-
-“Ah! but she _can_ help it--she is not carried away by her feelings; she
-knows better than to be surprised or anything like that. I have asked
-her and been none the better for it,” cried Aunt Milly, “and the young
-man will not tell me either. Milly, hush! there is certainly some one at
-the door.”
-
-The door bell at the Park was a peculiar one--it had a solemn cathedral
-sort of sound that rolled through the whole house, and it was only used
-by strangers or visitors on ceremony. Both of us started violently when
-we heard it; it came upon our consultations like a sudden alarm of
-battle.
-
-“It rains as bad as ever; on such a day who can ring the great bell at
-our door?” cried Aunt Milly. “God help us! if my father walked in at
-that door, I should not feel it was anything out of the way. Nothing
-would surprise me now.”
-
-I could not make her any answer. We both sat perfectly silent, waiting
-for what was to come. As if to heighten the excitement of the moment,
-the rain, which had been falling steadily all day, suddenly became
-violent, and dashed against the windows in torrents. Through all this we
-could hear the great door opened and the sound of voices. My thoughts
-travelled into the great vacant drawing-room where these sounds could
-not fail to reach Miss Mortimer within her screen. What was she doing?
-Could she be sitting there still, dumb and desperate, listening but not
-looking, with a pride and resistance more dreadful in its self-control
-than the wildest passions! I trembled with suspense and wondering
-anxiety in spite of myself. As for Aunt Milly, the miniatures she was
-looking at fell out of her hands. She covered her eyes for an instant,
-and then lifted her scared and pallid face to the door, as if she could
-hear the approaching sounds better, for having her eyes fixed that way.
-There was a pause that I suppose did not endure a minute, but which
-looked like an hour. Then a soft tap at the door; then Ellis entered,
-looking half as pale and anxious as we did--vaguely frightened he could
-not tell how.
-
-“Miss Milly,” he said, in a hasty troubled voice, “the gentleman is here
-as wants Miss Mortimer; what am I to do?”
-
-The old mistress and the old servant looked at each other. The man did
-not know anything, but he knew the involuntary suspicion and dread that
-had somehow gathered about the house.
-
-“What are we to do? God help us, Ellis, I know no more than the baby!”
-cried Aunt Milly under her breath.
-
-She was carried by her excitement beyond her usual discretion. I
-interposed as I best could.
-
-“Let it come to the crisis!” cried I, not being well aware what I said;
-“it must be best to know clearly Aunt Milly--hush!--recollect, you know
-nothing--let him go in.”
-
-She made a convulsive pause and restrained herself; and then the usual
-keeping up of appearances recurred to her mind. “My sister’s voice! you
-know, Milly,” she said, turning to me as if with a kind of
-apology,--“who--who is it, Ellis?”
-
-“It’s--it’s the foreign gentleman, ma’am,” said Ellis, with a
-sympathetic faltering of his voice.
-
-“Then show him in to Miss Mortimer?” cried Aunt Milly with a gasp over
-the words. “You shouldn’t have spoken so, my dear,” she said as soon as
-he was gone, “servants have nothing to do with our private affairs.
-Dear, dear, it’s surely very cold. It’s the storm come on so suddenly--a
-hail-storm, I declare. Don’t you feel, Milly, how cold the air has
-grown?”
-
-I made no answer, and she did not expect any. She went up close to the
-library door, and stood there as if listening, shivering now and then
-with the nervous chill of her own emotion. We heard the drawing-room
-door open and shut,--then silence, silence, something positive, not
-merely an absence of sound. I stood by the table trembling, fancying I
-saw the stranger pass, as if through a picture, up that empty-seeming
-room, with the cold chill daylight spying in, and the motionless,
-conscious creature who feared and yet defied him lurking behind that
-screen. Would she speak to him? If she did it would not be with that
-stifled whispering voice. What communication would pass between them?
-Would the old walls groan with some dark secret fatal to their honour?
-The very air tingled round us in the dead calm of the house. Surely it
-never was so noiseless before. As for Aunt Milly, she stood before me
-shivering at the door, sometimes putting her hand upon the lock, then
-drawing back in irresolute terror. This lasted for some time, though
-most likely for not half so long as I imagined it did; then she turned
-to me, wringing her hands and bursting out into tears and cries.
-
-“I cannot leave her alone any longer, Milly,” she said in broken words.
-“I cannot desert her in time of need;” and made as though she would
-leave the room, and then returned and sank into a chair and hid her face
-in her hands.
-
-She was entirely overwhelmed and broken down. All I could do for her,
-was to get a shawl which hung over the sofa, and wrap it round her. All
-this had been too much for her strength.
-
-In the midst of our suspense, Harry came suddenly in upon us. The sound
-of his honest frank step ringing into the library, startled me back to
-life again, and even Aunt Milly lifted up her blanched face expecting
-him to bring some news. Harry looked startled and curious, and did not
-grow less so as he looked at our agitated faces.
-
-“What is the matter, Milly?” he cried. “I passed the drawing-room
-windows just now, and looked in thinking to see you. Miss Mortimer was
-standing at a table looking over some papers, and by her side was Luigi,
-talking very earnestly. By Jove! to see them standing there you would
-have said they were mother and son.”
-
-At these words Aunt Milly lifted up her head, listening,--but Harry’s
-expression did not seem to strike her; she held up her finger and cried
-“Hark!”
-
-The silence was broken. A bell evidently rung--a door hastily
-opened--startled us all three standing together. “Shall Harry go after
-him?” cried I, seeing how it was and pointing Harry to the door; but
-Aunt Milly would not, or perhaps could not, suppose that the visitor was
-merely going away. She sprang up, crying, “She must be ill!” and rushed
-out of the library. I followed her, alarmed, but not for Miss Mortimer.
-I saw Luigi standing at the open door, just about to go out into the
-cold rainy world out of doors, but Aunt Milly did not see him. She
-rushed forward blindly into the room where she supposed her sister to be
-ill.
-
-When I rushed in after her I found the usual positions of the two ladies
-much reversed. Miss Mortimer was standing between the fire and the
-window, looking at her sister with a certain fierce scorn. Aunt Milly
-had sunk down in utter exhaustion and bewilderment upon a large ottoman.
-The two were looking at each other, Aunt Milly all trembling, pallid,
-and anxious. Miss Mortimer, with her head more erect than usual, her
-muslin mantle hanging back from her shoulders, her attitude very rigid
-and exact, and no symptom of excitement about her, save in the slight
-hurried incessant movement of her head and hands. A mere spectator would
-have said she was the judge and the other the culprit. It was an
-extraordinary scene.
-
-“What did he say? Who is he? What does he want? Sarah, tell me for the
-love of heaven,” cried Aunt Milly in her agony of distress and terror.
-
-“Who is _he_? I am not a girl to distinguish any one person by that
-name,” said Miss Mortimer.
-
-Then she went back steadily to her chair, and sat down in it and took up
-her knitting.
-
-“Any one who thinks to surprise me into speaking of my private affairs,
-is mistaken,” she said after a while. “Gossips like you may talk as
-they please; but what belongs to me is mine, and nobody in the world has
-a right to ask what I either do or say.”
-
-That was all. She never opened her lips again that day. She sat there
-rigid, pretending to work; she did not work however. I noticed that to
-keep her hands and her head from excessive trembling was almost more
-than she was able for; but the day passed without any disclosure. I
-believe now she would die sooner than make any sign.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER VIII.
-
-
-That was a very miserable day. I cannot fancy a more uncomfortable
-position for a stranger than that of being thrust into some distressing
-family secret, almost immediately after his or her introduction to the
-family in which it exists. This was just what had happened to me. I was
-kept one way or the other between those two sisters all the day. Aunt
-Milly kept continually appealing to me with her eyes, for conversation
-would not keep up its fluctuating and feeble existence in presence of
-that figure within the shelter of the screen; and my unlucky position of
-confidante must have been so apparent that I should not have wondered at
-any degree of dislike or displeasure which Miss Mortimer could have
-shown me. She did not show any, however; I could discern no signs of
-aversion to me. What am I saying? I could discern no signs of any human
-feeling whatever in her appearance and behaviour that day. My impression
-was that the sole thing with which her mind was occupied, was the effort
-to keep her head steady, and overcome the nervous, tremulous motion
-which agitated her frame. It was a relic, it might be an evidence, of
-some unseen tempest. But I am firmly convinced that this was the subject
-of all her thoughts. I watched, I must confess, with intense curiosity,
-though as quietly as possible, that she might not see I was watching
-her, every movement she made. But she did not notice me; she scarcely
-noticed anybody; she was careless of what other people were thinking;
-what she laboured after, all that miserable, lingering, rainy night was
-to get the command of herself. She never ventured to unbend her attitude
-in the slightest degree. She set her teeth together sometimes, and made
-her face look ghastly; but she could not keep down that external symptom
-of the trouble or tempest within. Her head kept moving with an incessant
-tremble; her hands were too much agitated to pursue their work. She kept
-the knitting-pins in her fingers, and held them rigidly together, as if
-she were knitting, and sometimes made a few convulsive stitches, and
-dropt them again, and bent in a tragical dismal confusion over that
-trifling occupation of hers, which had grown so weird an adjunct of
-herself to me. I watched her with a certain horror and pity which I
-cannot describe. It was not her paltry wealth and lands she was
-defending; it was her honour and her life. There she sat a solitary
-desperate creature driven to bay, with dear Aunt Milly’s vague terrors
-and anxieties revolving about her; but conscious in herself of a misery
-and danger far transcending anything in her innocent sister’s thoughts.
-Life and honour! but I believed there was no way in this world to defend
-them but by unnatural falsehood, cruelty, and wrong, and that she did
-not shrink from these means of upholding herself. Perhaps even a
-virtuous struggle would have exercised less fascination, than the sight
-of that desperate guilty secret resistance. I could not keep my eyes
-from Miss Mortimer. There was something terrible to me in her convulsive
-efforts after stillness, and in the nervous motion which continually
-betrayed her, and which no exertions on her part could overcome.
-
-But she sat out all the lengthy lingering hours of that evening, after
-dinner, for they departed from their usual customs at that time, and
-dined late out of compliment to Harry. We did try to talk a little, but
-Aunt Milly’s thoughts were all astray upon one subject, and she was
-continually breaking off in abrupt conclusions which irresistibly
-suggested the engrossing matter which she dared not enter upon. Miss
-Mortimer, meanwhile, attempted to read her Times; but whether it was
-that the rustle of the paper betrayed the trembling of her hands, or
-that her mind was unfit for reading anything, she soon laid the paper
-by, and resumed her pretence of working. You may suppose that Harry and
-I were not very much at our ease in this strange position of affairs.
-Almost everything that was said among us suggested a something which
-could not be said, yet which occupied everybody’s thoughts. Aunt Milly
-sat flushed and troubled opposite to her sister; her distressed
-perplexed look, the look of one totally at a loss and unable to offer
-any explanation even to herself; her glances, sometimes directing me to
-look at Miss Mortimer, sometimes appealing to me in vain for some
-suggestion which could throw light upon the subject, were enough of
-themselves to betray to any stranger the existence of some secret
-unhappiness in the house. Harry, who was not so much in Aunt Milly’s
-confidence as I was, kept appealing to me on the other side. What was it
-all about? I never wished so fervently for the conclusion of a day as I
-did for that; and yet there must be some extraordinary fascination in
-watching one’s fellow-creatures. I should not like to get fairly into
-that dreadful inhuman occupation which people called studying character.
-But I was so curious about Miss Mortimer that I could almost have liked
-to follow her to her own room, and watch, when she was no longer on her
-guard against other people, how she would look and what she would do.
-Would she faint, or cry out, or dash herself against the floor? or was
-she so accustomed to that dreadful secresy that she would not betray
-herself even to herself? She must have lived that dreadful hidden life,
-and locked up all she knew in her own breast for a lifetime; for a
-longer lifetime than mine.
-
-“I wonder,” said Henry, when we were alone that evening, “what sort of a
-person this Miss Mortimer is. Something’s wrong clearly. I suspect there
-must be something in the old lady’s life which will not bear the light
-of day.”
-
-“What makes you think so?” said I.
-
-“The t’other old lady and you play into each other’s hands,” cried
-Harry; “you know more about it than you choose to tell. But of course
-you are right enough if it is somebody else’s secret; only recollect,
-Milly, I am very glad you should be an heiress; I am extremely glad you
-will have a house to receive you while I am away, and that come what
-may, _that_ little beggar is provided for; but look here, if there’s
-another relation nearer than you, legitimate or illegitimate, I won’t
-stand by and see him wronged.”
-
-“Harry, tell me what you mean,” cried I.
-
-Harry looked at me a little indignantly; he thought I knew more than he
-did, and was trifling with him. “Milly, who is that fellow Luigi?” he
-said at last.
-
-“I make dreadful guesses,” said I, “but I cannot tell. Aunt Milly knows
-nothing about him. The only idea she can form is that he may be her
-father’s son.”
-
-Harry gave a long, half amazed, incredulous whistle, and turned away. He
-could scarcely believe me. Then I told him all I had heard, and
-something of what I had guessed. We did not converse plainly about this
-guess, which he had evidently jumped at as well as myself. A secret held
-with such dreadful tenacity was not a thing to be lightly discussed; but
-we both felt the same on the subject, only Harry’s mind took a more
-charitable view of it than I did. They say _we_ are always harder on
-guilty women than men are; perhaps it is natural. I felt an abhorrence
-rise within me which I could neither overcome nor disguise at the idea
-of a woman, and especially a woman in such a position as Miss Mortimer,
-having lived a pretended life of honour and innocence all these years,
-with that guilt in her mind which nobody knew but she; and now of her
-sacrificing and disowning nature to keep up that dreadful sham. I can
-understand people meeting death rather than disgrace; that is, I mean I
-could understand how one would rather hear that those whom one loves
-should die than disgrace themselves; but I don’t understand an insane
-struggle against the disgrace which one has deserved. That is not a
-noble struggle, so far as I can see; the only way of existing through
-such dreadful circumstances would be by enduring it; and all the same
-whether it was a woman or a man. I do think it is a shame to speak as
-some people speak on this subject, as if the _disgrace_ were all; as if
-all the harm was not done when the wrong was done, whether disgrace came
-or no!
-
-“I’ll tell you what, Milly,” said Harry, “I must say I think it’s very
-hard the poor old lady should lose her good name for something that
-happened an age ago. No doubt, by what we saw to-day, she must have set
-her poor old heart upon resisting and denying it, as foolish people
-always try to do. Now, you know, that’s evidently of no use. Of course a
-mere statement of any such claim having been made, is enough to finish
-Miss Mortimer, with all the gossips of the county, whether it was proved
-or not. Now I shan’t be here for long, and as they seem disposed to be
-so very kind to you----”
-
-“Don’t, Harry!”
-
-“But I must,” said he. “It will be no end of consolation to me to think
-of you in these pretty rooms which Miss Milly has already prepared for
-you. If I can do them a good turn before I go, I will, you may depend
-upon it. As soon as we return to Chester I’ll see Luigi; and if it can
-be got out of him what he wants, I shall certainly make an effort to
-have him satisfied, and Miss Mortimer left unmolested. It would not do
-if sins of thirty years standing were to be brought against people in
-this way. Why, anybody might be thrown into sudden shame on such a
-principle; and you women, you know, are so vindictive and all that----”
-
-“Oh, yes! I know,” said I, “and will always be vindictive all the same.
-Imagine this woman standing side by side with Aunt Milly, and considered
-as spotless as she; imagine such a long cruel abominable sin, and no
-retribution overtaking it! Oh, you may be pitiful if you like, but it
-disgusts me.”
-
-Harry laughed. “I should be surprised if it did not disgust you, Milly
-darling,” he said, “but poetic justice is exploded now-a-days. I don’t
-suppose Luigi can be very anxious for her personal affection,
-considering how she seems to have behaved; and, indeed, to be sure he
-would be fully more disgraced than she. How many days are we to be here?
-I shall see him whenever we return to Chester.”
-
-“Three days longer,” said I, with a sigh. “Somehow this little visit to
-the Park had come to look like a little barrier between me and what was
-coming. Presently we should go back to Chester, and then----”
-
-Harry understood my sigh. He repeated the very words I was saying in my
-mind. “And then----” said Harry, “and then, darling, to see which of us
-two is bravest! But it will come hardest upon you, my poor little wife.”
-
-“Harry,” cried I, “don’t speak!” and I went away, and would have no more
-of such talk. It was enough that it was coming; it would be enough when
-it came.
-
-Perhaps the last few words of this conversation were not the best
-preparation possible for sleep. I know I awoke a great many times during
-that long dark night, and once in its deepest darkness and stillness I
-fancied I heard a groan faintly sounding through the wall. Miss
-Mortimer’s rooms were near ours. This sound set all my imagination busy
-again. It was she who groaned under that veil of night. She, so
-dreadfully on her guard all day long, who relieved her miserable heart
-thus when nobody watched her. It was impossible not to feel excited in
-the neighbourhood of such mysterious secrecy. The sound of that groan
-moved me to pity;--she had not escaped without retribution. Was not that
-dread of the consequences under which she was suffering, worse than the
-very hardest shape the consequences were likely to assume, if they
-themselves ever overtook the sinner?
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER IX.
-
-
-The next day began much like the previous day; it was still showery and
-damp; and though Harry was out of doors I was prevented, by Aunt Milly’s
-care, from joining him. In the afternoon we were to go out with her on a
-round of inspection to see the neighbourhood, Miss Mortimer having
-volunteered to give up the carriage to us for that purpose, though it
-was the day on which she generally took her drive; and the rector and
-some other near neighbours were to come to dinner in the evening. I was
-once more alone with Miss Mortimer. We sat much as we had done on the
-previous day, opposite each other, the moments passing over us in a
-certain excited silence. She did not say anything to me; she did not
-even look at me. She showed none of that voiceless anxiety to know who
-had come in when the door opened, which struck me before. She was much
-calmed down; the person she expected had come; the blow, whatever it
-was, had been borne; and for the present moment there was an end of it.
-She actually knitted her pattern correctly, and counted her stitches,
-and referred to her book to see if she was correct, as she sat there
-before me in her inhuman calm. Was she a creature of flesh and blood,
-after all? or a witch, like those of the old stories, without any human
-motives in her heart of stone?
-
-I could not help thinking so as I sat beside her. Her head still
-trembled slightly; but I suppose that was an habitual motion. She sat
-there shut up in herself,--her misery and her relief, and the cold
-dauntless spirit that must have risen from that smart encounter
-yesterday, and gained strength by the very struggle--hidden from
-everybody round her, as if they had been a world away. I gazed and
-wondered, almost trembled, at that extraordinary death in life. She who
-had all the tumult of passion and guilt in her memory; she who must have
-entered into the fullest excitement of life, and got entangled in its
-most dreadful perplexities; she who was no ascetic, nor even pretended
-to that rival excitement of the devotee which might have replaced the
-other; how could she have lived silent and obdurate through those
-dreadful years? The very thought of them struck me aghast. After her
-life of flattery, admiration, and universal homage; after her
-experience, whatever that might be, of more personal passions, to drop
-for a longer time than my whole life behind that screen into that chair!
-As I sat opposite to her, my thoughts turned back to that other Miss
-Mortimer, whom I had placed in imagination in my grandfather’s house.
-Once more I thought I could see that large low room which I never had
-seen, except in fancy, with the ancient beauty sitting silent by the
-fire amid the ghosts of the past. Was this the true impersonation of
-that dream of mine? Was this the Miss Mortimer, with her foreign count,
-whom Mrs. Saltoun remembered? As this recurred to me I could scarcely
-help a little start of quickened curiosity and eagerness. It seemed to
-flicker before me as a possible interpretation of all this dark enigma,
-could only the connecting link be found. As I was wandering deeper and
-deeper into these thoughts--so deep as to forget the strange position I
-stood in, and the possibility of being taken for a kind of domestic spy,
-which had embarrassed me at first--I heard a little commotion outside.
-The door, perhaps, was ajar, or it might be simply that my ears were
-quickened by hearing a little cry from baby, and Lizzie’s voice
-belligerent and full of determination. I got up hastily and went to the
-door. I don’t think Miss Mortimer even lifted her eyes to notice my
-movement. It was certainly Lizzie in some conflict with one of the
-authorities of the house; and Lizzie, as the natural and primitive
-method of asserting her own way, had unconsciously elevated her voice; a
-proceeding which alarmed baby, and also, as it appeared, her antagonist.
-I ran and threw the door open as I heard another cry from my little boy.
-There, outside, was a curious scene. Lizzie, in her out-of-doors dress,
-just returned from a walk in the garden with baby, with her face a
-little flushed, and her plentiful hair somewhat blown about by the wind,
-was resolutely pressing forward to enter the drawing-room, where, to be
-sure, she had no business to come; while holding her back by her cloak,
-and whispering threats and dissuasions, was a person whom I had scarcely
-seen before, but whom I knew at once to be Carson, Miss Mortimer’s maid.
-Lizzie was greatly excited; and what with managing the baby and
-resisting this woman, while at the same time possessed with some mission
-which she was evidently determined to perform, looked fatigued and
-exhausted too.
-
-“But I _will_,” cried Lizzie, with her eyes flashing. “I’m no heeding
-whether it’s my place or no. I promised I would gi’e it into her ain
-very hand; and do ye think I’m gaun back o’ my word? I tell ye I _will_
-gie’t to the leddy mysel’. Eh, mem!” she exclaimed, breathlessly, with a
-sudden change of her tone as she saw me, “I met Menico at the gate, and
-I promised to gi’e it into the leddy’s ain hand.”
-
-When I approached, Carson fell back; she shrank, I could fancy, from
-meeting my eyes. Her hand dropped from Lizzie’s cloak; she was as much
-afraid to be supposed to interfere as she was anxious to interfere in
-reality.
-
-“My missis’s nerves, ma’am,” said Carson, glibly, but in a half whisper,
-“is not as strong as might be wished. If the young person, ma’am, would
-give it to me, or----. You see the ladies at the Park they’re known for
-charity, and beggars’ letters, or such like, they’re too excitin’ for my
-missis’; they puts her all in a tremble--it’s on her nerves.”
-
-“But, mem,” cried Lizzie, “I canna go back o’ my word.”
-
-I stood between them, much perplexed and bewildered. The anxiety of Miss
-Mortimer’s maid was evident; and Lizzie, from whose arms baby had
-instantly struggled as soon as he saw me, was greatly excited. At this
-moment she produced the letter which was in question. Carson made a
-stealthy spring to seize it, but recollecting herself, drew back, and
-looked up guilty, but deprecating in my face. I don’t know whether it
-was a desire to clear up the mystery, or the cruel curiosity of an
-observer of character that decided me. I dismissed Carson coldly, saying
-I would ring if Miss Mortimer wanted her, and told Lizzie to follow me
-into the room. Lizzie’s excitement sank into awe as she trod softly
-through this great, faded, magnificent apartment. Before she reached the
-screen which sheltered Miss Mortimer, she was almost speechless with
-half superstitious reverence. I am sure she would willingly have given
-her letter to Carson or anybody at that moment. The very fact that the
-person she was about to confront was thus concealed from her overawed
-her simple mind. When she actually emerged from behind the screen, and
-came in full sight of Miss Mortimer, Lizzie’s healthful face was
-perfectly colourless, and her frame trembling. The supreme awkwardness
-of the attitude into which she fell, the spasmodic rudeness with which
-she thrust out that hand that contained the letter, the fright and
-consternation visible in every twist of her person, would have been
-painfully ludicrous if there had been any time to observe it. Miss
-Mortimer raised her eyes and stared at the strange figure before her.
-Almost absurd as that figure was in its dismay and terror, her mind was
-not sufficiently at ease to be simply surprised. Any strange apparition
-had a right to appear before this woman in her intrenchments of dumb
-resistance. As I stood by looking on, I could understand the feeling
-which worked in her eyes. She was not surprised. No miracle could have
-surprised her. She was rather asking in her heart, “Who is this new
-assailant? Who will come next?”
-
-“If ye please, it’s a letter,” said Lizzie, in a tremulous voice.
-
-Miss Mortimer made no attempt to take the letter. She said, “Who are
-you?” with a strange curiosity; as if, amid all the powers that had a
-secret right to assail her in her conscious guiltiness, this was a new
-hobgoblin whom she could not well connect with the others. If there were
-any purgatory, I could fancy a poor soul there asking in the same tone
-the name of the new imp who came to torment it.
-
-This was more than Lizzie could bear. I don’t know what perplexed
-terrors and superstitious ideas of evil influence brought back the blood
-to her cheeks. She trembled all over under that eye, which had suggested
-the idea of the Evil Eye to Lizzie, and to which she was determined
-never to expose “our bairn.” She must have endured a kind of martyrdom
-as she stood under its steady gaze. “Eh, me? I’m no onybody,” cried
-Lizzie, shivering with excitement; “it’s just a letter. I said I would
-gi’e it into the leddy’s own hand.”
-
-Miss Mortimer turned upon me--on the child--on the very mirror on the
-further wall, a look of silent defiance; she seemed to look round to
-call upon the very apartment in which we sat to witness what she did.
-Then she took the letter from Lizzie’s rigid fingers, and with scarcely
-a motion, except of her hand, dropped it into the fire. After she had
-done it, she turned again to us with another steady look, and even with
-a smile; triumphant!--with a certain gleam of devilish satisfaction in
-her success, as if she had baffled us all once more. But in that very
-moment, while she still smiled, I could see her hold herself fast
-between the arms of her chair, to keep down the nervous tremor which
-seized her. That resisting, defying spirit was lodged in nothing
-stronger than a human frame. Her head shook, steadied, trembled again,
-with a force beyond all her power of control. With all that soul of
-successful evil in her face, her head shook as if with the palsy of
-extreme old age, and in spite of the most convulsive strenuous efforts
-to keep it still. I was nearly as much awe-struck as Lizzie. I stole out
-of sight of her as the girl did. Never was there such a picture! She
-could conquer nature, truth, and every human feeling; but she could not
-conquer those tremulous chords and threads of mortal flesh which refused
-to be in the conspiracy. She sat there dumbly defying every scrutiny,
-but with the smile growing fixed and ghastly on her face as she tried,
-with her utmost desperate feeble strength, and failed, to defy and
-overcome herself.
-
-I asked Lizzie no questions as she came upstairs after me. I did not say
-anything to her when I heard her sobbing out her agitation in her own
-room. There was not a word said between us when she came refreshed by
-that little ebullition, and by the necessary arrangement of her
-wind-blown hair and dress, to take charge of little Harry. When I had
-given the child up to her, I went downstairs again, quite silent and
-eager. You may very well ask why. I cannot defend myself. I went down
-with no better motive than to watch Miss Mortimer, and see if anything
-more could be found out.
-
-When I went into the room I saw nobody, but heard some voices and
-movement behind the screen. I believe if Miss Mortimer had been speaking
-in the ordinary human voice, I should not have heard her at that
-distance; but I did hear that strange stifled whisper almost as well as
-if it had been hissed into my ear.
-
-“I must deny, deny, deny,” said the strange voice. “Don’t speak to me,
-you know nothing about it. It is the only strength I have.”
-
-“But, oh! dear, dear, such a pretty young gentleman!” said the other
-speaker, in a tone of weeping but hopeless remonstrance.
-
-“Let him prove his rights,” said Miss Mortimer.
-
-I obeyed my instincts, and fled out of the room as I heard that she was
-stirring behind the screen. And I had not been mistaken in the guess I
-made. She came out a few minutes later, leaning on Carson’s arm, leaning
-heavily, with her head trembling like that of a palsied person; but her
-eyes full of that dreadful self-possession, knowledge and resistance. I
-trembled, too, as I stood aside to let her pass. She did not say
-anything, though she stared hard at me. The maid, though she did her
-best to make up her usual face when she saw me there, was evidently
-overpowered with anxiety and distress.
-
-There was, then, one other individual who knew that secret--one creature
-who loved that dreadful old woman, and in whom she trusted. I could not
-help standing still to look after them as they went upstairs. Carson was
-very little younger than her mistress. She had a naturally anxious look,
-as well she might if she had been for years the depository of this
-secret. I could not help picturing their life to myself as they went
-upstairs: the innocent woman troubled and tearful, the guilty woman calm
-and immovable, but for that trembling of her frame which even her
-remorseless will was not strong enough to subdue. I could understand
-better now how she kept alive, and could preserve that frightful
-stillness of hers. Upstairs, in their own apartments, no doubt another
-life went on; a life of recollections and schemes which no one knew of,
-a life palpitating full of those past years of which Miss Mortimer gave
-no sign. That was how she kept herself alive. I could not do anything
-but stand still, watching them, as they went slowly up to that
-retirement, where the mask could be laid off and the veil drawn. When
-they were out of sight, I strayed into the great vacant drawing-room,
-unable to withdraw my thoughts from this strange pair. “I must deny,
-deny, deny!” That was the position she had taken. Could any one in
-existence--could Luigi, a sensitive and high-minded young man as he
-seemed to be--seek motherly love from such a woman as this? Motherly
-love! it was dreadful even in thought to apply such words to anything
-that could come from her. Shame only, shame to both. What motive could
-he have to go on seeking her? for Nature had evidently no place in her
-heart of stone.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER X.
-
-
-“But, dear, dear, where’s Sarah?” cried Aunt Milly, when some time later
-she came into the room.
-
-I felt almost as guilty as if I had suddenly got some share in Miss
-Mortimer’s secret. “She was going upstairs when I came in,” said I; but
-I could not find it in my heart to say what new accident had done this.
-
-Aunt Milly looked at her chair and her footstool, and the work-basket
-she had left behind, as if she might possibly ascertain something from
-them. “My dear, it will be well to avoid the strangers to-night,” she
-said, nodding her head, as if this conclusion was, on the whole, not
-unsatisfactory; “and, indeed, Milly, though you may think it strange of
-me to say so, I am not sorry; for Miss Kate, I am afraid, would be very
-likely to mention something about that poor young man, whoever he may
-be!” said Aunt Milly, with a sigh. “Dear, dear, to think what troubles
-people make, both for themselves and others, that might be avoided by a
-little openness. Why couldn’t he have told me, my dear? If he has
-claims, I’d have seen him satisfied to the very last farthing, Milly!
-and if he hasn’t claims, why should he persecute Sarah and me?”
-
-“But it might be something he couldn’t tell,” said I, rashly.
-
-“Something he couldn’t tell? What do you mean, child? What sort of a
-connection could he have with our family that he _couldn’t tell_?” cried
-Miss Milly. “I see what you mean. He might be a natural son. Harry has
-put that into your head, now, for I am sure you never could have thought
-of it of yourself. Milly, Milly, it’s dreadful to say, but I’d be more
-thankful than I can tell you, to know that he was. I shouldn’t forget he
-was my father’s son all the same; he should be amply provided
-for--_amply_, my dear; ah, but it’s far too good news to be true; and,
-besides, what would Sarah care for him, if he were illegitimate? It
-could not hurt us in the least. Nothing, but what would be an injury to
-us, can explain Sarah’s looks. Don’t let us think of it any more,
-Milly. Come and show me, dear, what you’re going to wear to-night. I
-should like you to look pretty, though they are all old people; for
-they’re old _friends_ as well. Come upstairs with me, and show me what
-you are to have on.”
-
-I went, not without some trepidation, for I did not know what Aunt Milly
-would say when she knew I had nothing but white muslin. She did shake
-her head when she saw it spread out ready to put on. She even faltered
-forth some half questions as to what I had in my wardrobe, whether I had
-not a nice----; but there dear Aunt Milly stopped. She would not hurt my
-feelings whatever I might wear; and I don’t deny I felt a little
-mortified myself to see it laid out like a little girl’s best frock.
-However, I am thankful to say Harry never had an idea that it was not
-the very best thing I could wear.
-
-“There are some lace flounces,” said Aunt Milly, half to herself, eyeing
-the poor white frock over again, “that might brighten it up a little;”
-then she turned round suddenly and kissed me by way of apology. “My
-dear, don’t be affronted, I’m sure you will look very pretty in
-it;--only I should have preferred, just for this one night,--but, to be
-sure, you never thought of bringing out all your things for such a short
-visit, and us such quiet people. Never mind, Milly dear, it will look
-very nice, I am sure. I have a very pretty scarf you shall wear thrown
-over it; it may not be quite in the fashion; but fine lace never goes
-out of fashion, you know. I mean to give it you anyhow; and here’s a
-little jewel-box, with some ornaments in it; I used to wear them myself
-when I was a girl, and I had them reset just for a little remembrance of
-this visit. Put them on, for my sake, to-night; and remember, dear, that
-what we’ve been talking about so much these few days is a family secret.
-If anybody should say anything that seems to touch on it, or should even
-mention Mr. Luigi’s name, don’t look as if you were conscious of
-anything. It _may_ come to nothing, you know. I am very glad you like
-them, my dear. I am quite pleased I thought of it. But recollect, Milly,
-my love, to be on your guard.”
-
-With these words she left me, running away from my thanks for her
-present. I was very much pleased with her present, and even at that
-moment, when people might suppose I had more serious things to think of,
-I must say it did give me a flutter of gratification to find bracelets
-in the jewel-box. How kind and thoughtful it was of Aunt Milly! I wonder
-if she knew I hadn’t any? I showed them to Lizzie, who thought anything
-so grand had never been seen, and to baby, who would have liked to have
-them to play with, and finally to Harry when he came in, and I had to
-prepare for our drive. Harry found some fault (of course) with their
-style, but was quite as pleased as I was. And, indeed, it was very good
-of him to be pleased, for I had almost to go down on my knees to him to
-keep him from buying me something of the kind when we came to Chester,
-and he naturally grudged that any one should give them to me but
-himself.
-
-To think of me saying so much about such a small affair as bracelets,
-when things so much more important were surrounding us on every side! I
-am afraid to say it, but it is true, that when I went down into the
-drawing-room that evening I was thinking too much about my beautiful
-scarf and these same bracelets to notice, at the first moment, who was
-there. The first thing that brought me to myself was hearing the voice
-of Miss Mortimer behind her screen. I was so amazed that, instinctively,
-without giving any reason to myself for it, I pushed forward to see her.
-There she sat, that dreadful, wonderful witch of a woman--so far from
-being moved by any feeling of nature which might have led her to avoid
-the strangers, as innocent Aunt Milly supposed--sitting there as if on a
-throne, entirely assuming the part of mistress of the house, and
-receiving the homage of her guests. Evidently everybody was
-surprised--everybody had understood Miss Mortimer to have withdrawn from
-any but the most secluded life and I do not think I ever felt such a
-thrill of wonder and pity, and almost horror, as when, after all I had
-seen and noted, after her convulsive trembling and watchful readiness
-for any attack, after the way in which, this very day, she had
-retreated, stubborn but exhausted, upstairs, I saw her sitting here, in
-full evening dress, with jewels and ornaments; her watchful eyes
-gleaming stealthily round, and her ears alive to every sound.
-
-As I came forward I caught sight of Aunt Milly sitting silent by herself
-by a table, with a face full of the deepest perplexity and distress. She
-raised her troubled eyes to me, and grasped at my hand for a moment, as
-if to strengthen herself. She could not make it out--any attempt to
-decipher her sister’s purpose was in vain to Aunt Milly--the light might
-as well have tried to comprehend the darkness. But I had not time to say
-anything to her. Miss Mortimer had called Harry, who drew me along with
-him; and it was she who introduced us to the rector and his sister, and
-to that heavy old Sir George, and the Penrhyns of Eden Castle. I am sure
-I cannot tell what she said; it was principally Harry she spoke of, and
-I remember that she called him their heir and nearest relation, which
-gained us a very flattering reception from the strangers. But the mere
-fact of seeing her there, with her bare arms and shoulders shining thin
-through just such another scarf as I had on, and her eyes meeting
-everybody else’s with a certain wide-open vigilant stare, and her head
-held stiffly erect to dissemble that trembling, which, even still, she
-could not overcome, at once confounded and engrossed me so much that I
-could observe nothing else. Harry got into conversation with the
-gentlemen, and Miss Kate, from the Rectory, a woman evidently full of
-curiosity and enterprise, seized upon Miss Mortimer. I managed to get
-away to Aunt Milly; she took my hand again, and pressed it almost
-painfully. “My dear, what do you suppose _this_ means?” said Aunt Milly,
-looking wistfully up in my face.
-
-“To defy everybody,” I said, scarcely knowing what I was saying; “but,
-dear Aunt Milly, you warned me to be on my guard. You look so troubled,
-people will fancy something is wrong.”
-
-When I said that, she got up hastily and joined the others. I can’t tell
-how the strangers felt; but for all of us who belonged to the house, it
-is impossible to imagine any scene more extraordinary. To see the
-dauntless, unnatural wickedness of that woman facing and defying
-everybody--to see her take the principal place, and ignore the troubled,
-terrified sister, whose guests these people really were--out of all the
-mysterious veil of secrecy and darkness in which she had been wrapped,
-to watch her emerging thus, not only as if nothing were wrong with her,
-but as if, in reality, she was the soul of everything, and dear Aunt
-Milly only her shadow and servant! When Miss Mortimer took the head of
-the table at dinner, and Aunt Milly astonished, and not knowing what to
-make of it, dropped into a seat near the foot, where Harry was, our
-dismay and wonder were nearly at their climax. Aunt Milly clasped my
-hands hard; she had got a chair placed in the corner beside me, and
-whispered--
-
-“I don’t mind it, my dear, don’t think I mind it. If all was well, and I
-had known her meaning!”
-
-I understood that perfectly; but then all was not well, and nobody had
-known the weird woman’s meaning. Now she had it all in her own hands.
-With her grey hair, and her thin bare aged shoulders peeping out of her
-scarf, she made a dreadful pretence of flirting with that old Sir
-George; and curious Miss Kate sat scrutinising her, and making perpetual
-remarks; and Aunt Milly and I looked on with awe and alarm which I could
-not describe. I could scarcely answer Mr. Penrhyn when he spoke to me. I
-fear he must have thought me a very poor representative of the
-Mortimers. But I could not keep my attention from that figure at the
-head of the table. I could not help wondering, did she see the writing
-and the man’s hand upon the wall? for in all her pretences, and
-affectations, and coquetries,--those strange coquetries, and gestures,
-and movements of the head and hands, which might have been pretty in a
-young beauty, but were so dismal in a white-haired old woman--remember,
-_she never once forgot_. I could see it plain in her eyes all the time.
-If the handwriting had come upon the wall, as it did in Belshazzar’s
-palace, it would not have surprised her. No allusion that could be made
-would shock or startle her. She knew everything that could come; and, in
-her devilish daring, she was prepared for all.
-
-I hope it is not very wicked of me to use such words; indeed, I cannot
-tell what others I could use.
-
-Things went on so till we got back to the drawing-room, which was a
-relief in its way. And by dint of continuing so long, the pressure had,
-of course, grown easier, and I had actually begun to make a little
-acquaintance with Mrs. Penrhyn, who was young, and had little children
-of her own, and quite insisted I should take her upstairs to see baby,
-when I was suddenly recalled from that very agreeable talk we were just
-falling into, by the sharp voice of Miss Kate.
-
-“Have you heard any more of that young Italian, Miss Milly?” said Miss
-Kate; “he that struck me, you know, as having so odd a resemblance to
-your family?--very strange! and did you not perceive it yourself? I hear
-he has been seen about here again, and his servant, that stout person.
-Ah, how very sad he doesn’t know English, that poor fellow! perhaps he
-has picked up a little since. Of all the sad things in the world, I know
-nothing so melancholy as being in the midst of light, and yet, for such
-a trifling thing as the want of language, remaining in darkness. I have
-never forgiven myself for neglecting Italian since that day. Ah, I wish
-I knew Italian as you do, Miss Mortimer. Who can tell what use I might
-have been to that poor benighted man!”
-
-I had turned aside, with the words stopped on my very lips, to listen.
-So had Aunt Milly, looking aghast, and with every tinge of colour
-blanched from her face. Miss Mortimer did not observe me; but she
-noticed her sister, and stared at her with actually a little pause and
-smile of malice, to direct everybody’s attention to her startled face,
-before she spoke.
-
-“I can’t speak even my own language now,” was all Miss Mortimer said;
-and all the time looked at Aunt Milly with that derisive look, as if to
-show that whoever was agitated by this reference it was not herself. I
-was so wicked as to think she meant to turn over the scandal, if any
-should rise, upon her sister; and it made my blood boil; but, to be
-sure, I was quite in error there.
-
-“Oh, I am sure after to-night--!” cried Miss Kate; “Indeed, my dear Miss
-Mortimer, I must congratulate you. I hope it is the beginning of a new
-life. If you would but take a little interest in the parish, with your
-improved health, I am sure it would do so much good; and if you should
-happen to meet that unfortunate young man, and would be induced to
-explain the truth to him a little in his own language----”
-
-Here Miss Mortimer gave an extraordinary kind of gasp, without, however,
-uttering any sound. Nobody observed it but me, as my eyes were fixed on
-her. Then she spoke as if she could not help herself, drawing back into
-the shadow.
-
-“He speaks English!” she said, with an extraordinary tone of being
-compelled to say something--as if some influence within her had
-constrained the words from her unwilling tongue.
-
-“But, ah, it is the servant I speak of,” cried Miss Kate; “one soul is
-just as precious as another; it is he, poor unfortunate man! If you
-should meet him in any of your drives,--he is very stout, and has a
-large beard, and is so completely the foreigner that you can’t mistake
-him,--if you would only stop the carriage and say a word in season.”
-
-There was another wonderful contraction of all the muscles of Miss
-Mortimer’s face, and this time a kind of hysterical sound came with it.
-
-“If I meet him,” she said, slowly, “I’ll give him a word in
-season--don’t be afraid,” and she laughed.
-
-It made me shiver and tremble all over. I was thankful that Ellis came
-that moment with tea, and I could get up and go into another corner of
-the room to recover myself. I don’t know how Aunt Milly bore it. She had
-not a particle of colour in her face the whole evening after. But Miss
-Mortimer went upstairs steadily when all the guests were gone. I do not
-know what befell when she got into her own room. I do not think they had
-much rest there that night. If she had fallen down in a fit, or expired
-at the head of the table that evening, it would not have surprised me.
-She had lived through it; but I am sure neither she nor her poor
-faithful maid closed their eyes that night.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XI.
-
-
-The day after that, was the day we had fixed to go back to Chester. Miss
-Mortimer did not come downstairs; but Carson came to me with a little
-packet while I was helping Lizzie to pack up baby’s things. The poor
-woman looked ill and strange herself. She had a scared terrified
-expression, as if she were afraid of everybody, and looked so worn-out
-and exhausted that I could scarcely help telling her, for pity’s sake,
-to go and get some sleep.
-
-“My missis sends her love,” said Carson, “and she’s very sorry she can’t
-come downstairs to see you, ma’am, nor the Captain, but hopes it won’t
-be long till you’re here again; and sends you this, and her love.”
-
-“Is Miss Mortimer ill?” said I.
-
-Carson hesitated before she answered.
-
-“It’s on her nerves,” she said, at last, faltering; “it’s--I mean, to be
-sure, she’s a little overtired because of overdoing of herself last
-night. It was out of compliment to the Captain, ma’am, and you. My
-missis has a great spirit; but it’s the body as is weak.”
-
-“Yes,” said I, unable to restrain the impulse; “but, oh, don’t you think
-she has just too great a spirit? What if it kills her one of these
-days?”
-
-The woman flashed up for a moment into an attempt of resentment and
-dignity, but, partly from her weakness and watching and want of sleep,
-broke down immediately, and shed a few tears in her apron. The poor
-creature’s heart was moved. “If it kills her she’ll die; but she’ll
-never give in,” sobbed Carson; and then, recovering herself all at
-once--“it’s on the nerves, that’s what it is,” said the faithful
-servant, and hurried away.
-
-It was some time before I cared to open Miss Mortimer’s packet. It
-contained two rings, one of them a slight turquoise thing, which was for
-me, and the other a fine diamond, which was to be given to my husband.
-“Tell him it’s a family jewel,” said a little accompanying note. I put
-it down on Harry’s dressing-table, where he would find it when he came
-in. _I_ would not put such a present on his finger; besides, it was best
-he should have it direct from herself--she had always received _him_ as
-the representative of the Mortimers, and not me.
-
-And then Aunt Milly came upstairs to kiss and cry over us. I was very
-sad myself, as was natural. There was nothing now between me and Harry’s
-going, but a few weeks--rather a few days. I should look straight into
-the face of that dreadful approaching moment when we turned our backs on
-the Park.
-
-I could not cry as Aunt Milly did. I felt to myself as if I had been
-trifling all this time, taken up with other people’s affairs, and making
-friends with strangers, while every hour was bringing us closer to that
-day. Dear Aunt Milly held me fast in her arms, and whispered everything
-in the world she could think of to console me: that I had baby; that I
-should have letters regularly; that the war would not last long; that I
-must trust God, and pray. Ah, as if I did not know all that! if I had
-not known it and gone over it all in my own mind a thousand times, there
-might have been some comfort in what she said.
-
-“And look here,” said Aunt Milly, thrusting a purse into my pocket--not
-into my hand, to give me a chance of putting it back again--“he is our
-representative, dear. He is not to go a step till he has
-everything--everything you can so much as think upon to make him
-comfortable. Now, Milly, don’t say a word. I’ll think you don’t love me
-if you say a word. Will it be any comfort to you, or me, to think here’s
-some paltry money left, and Harry gone to fight for us all without
-something that would make him comfortable? You’d work your fingers off
-to get it for him, and you have no excuse for denying me. Don’t say
-anything to Harry, child. Men don’t understand these things. It’s
-between you and me; and, please God, we’ll tell him all our schemes when
-we get him back safe, the dear fellow. But, dear, what is that on the
-table? Sarah’s diamond! that one she has always had such a fancy for.
-Has she sent it to you?”
-
-“To Harry,” said I.
-
-“To Harry! Dear, dear, what creatures we are!” cried Aunt Milly, much
-agitated, and bursting in tears again. “Poor Sarah! she’s not so
-hard-hearted as you and me were thinking, Milly. Oh, God help her; if
-He would only bring her to deal true and fair, and have out this trouble
-in the face of day, there might be some comfort yet for her in this very
-life!”
-
-I made no answer. I did not love Miss Mortimer, as I suppose, in some
-sort of way, her sister did; and, besides, my thoughts were all turned
-in another direction again. I had ceased to see the Park and its
-troubles so acutely as I had done for some days past. My mind was
-returned to my own private burden. I had little to say to anybody after
-that. I turned away even from Aunt Milly, with a dreadful feeling that I
-was not to see her again till Harry was gone. For I knew in my heart,
-though they never said anything to me, that this was how it was to be.
-
-I had not the heart to talk even to Harry, as we drove slowly back to
-Chester--slowly, as I fancied. We went in the carriage all the way. We
-had no railway or tunnel to go through this time. Nothing to help me to
-a moment’s delusion of plunging away to the end of the world, or into
-the bowels of the earth, it did not matter which, _all together_. That
-was impossible. Miss Mortimer’s carriage put nothing in my mind but the
-inevitable parting, and all that was to happen to me after Harry was
-gone.
-
-When we got to our Chester lodgings, Domenico was there, as usual, full
-of the noisiest, kindest bustle, to help in getting everything in, as if
-he had belonged to us, instead of belonging to a stranger, who, most
-likely, had little reason to bear the heirs of the Mortimers any good
-will. Mr. Luigi was standing at the window all the time, looking at the
-carriage, the horses, the servants; thinking, perhaps, they might all
-have been his under different circumstances. How can I tell what he was
-thinking? I am sure at that moment, though I observed him at the window,
-I took no pains to imagine what his thoughts were, and did not care. I
-did not care for anything just then.
-
-It was one of my bad times. It was one of the hundred partings which I
-had with Harry before the real parting came. When the things were lifted
-out of the carriage, I could see them all in my own mind lifted in
-again, all but Harry’s share of them, and myself sitting blind in that
-corner with all the world dark before me. Well, well; it is no use
-reasoning over it, as if that would make things any better. Thousands
-and thousands were just the same as me; did that make it any better, do
-you suppose? I thought of the poor woman in the Edinburgh High Street,
-and her hard damp hand that pressed mine. I was a soldier’s wife like
-all the rest. I went up into my own room and got Harry’s old sash again,
-and bound it tight over my heart. It gave me a kind of ease, somehow.
-And to hear baby shouting at sight of his old toys, and Harry calling
-for his Milly darling, downstairs! It was an agony of happiness and
-anguish; it was life.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XII.
-
-
-The very next day Sara Cresswell came to see me. I cannot say that I was
-very glad, for I grudged everything now that did not belong to the one
-business which was engrossing us. I had been out that morning with Harry
-trying to get things that were necessary for him. I don’t mean the
-common articles of his outfit, for these, now that we had money enough,
-could be ordered at once without contriving; but the little conveniences
-that might make him more comfortable. He protested that I would load him
-with so many contrivances for comfort that comfort would be impossible;
-and, I daresay I was foolish. But he let me do it without more than just
-laughing at me. He knew it was a sort of consolation. When Sara came the
-room was in a litter with all sorts of portable apparatus; things for
-cooking, and lamps, and portable dressing things, and the wonderful
-convenient portmanteaus they make now-a-days. I was putting them all
-together, and comparing, and thinking all how he would do when, instead
-of home, where everything came naturally, without being asked for, he
-should have only these skeletons to make himself comfortable with. I had
-lighted the lamp, and was boiling the little kettle over it, to see how
-it would do. Ah, if we only had been going all together! If I could have
-imagined myself there to boil the kettle and have everything warm and
-nice for him when he came in from the trenches, how pleasant all these
-contrivances would have been! As it was I had just had his servant up
-and been showing him the things we had bought; he looking grim and half
-amused, touching his cap and saying, “Yes, ma’am,” to every word I said,
-but laughing in his mind at all my womanish nonsense. I could see that
-perfectly, and I had a good cry after the man was gone; and was just
-rousing up from that, to boil the little kettle, when Sara Cresswell
-came in.
-
-In this short week there was a good deal of change upon Sara. Her eyes
-had a quick kind of fitful light in them gleaming about everywhere, as
-if she were somehow dissatisfied, either with herself or her own
-circumstances, and sought a kind of relief in external things. There
-was a change in her appearance too; her little short curls had either
-grown too long to cluster about her neck as she had worn them, or she
-had taken another caprice about this fashion of hers, for they were now
-all gathered into a net, a thing which changed her appearance, somehow,
-without one being able to see for the first minute how it was. She
-flushed up wonderfully when she saw my occupation. She came and kissed
-me, and sat down by me to watch the lamp. I had to explain to her all
-about it, how it was arranged, and everything; and after she had sat
-with me watching till the little kettle boiled, all at once it seemed to
-flash upon her what dreadful thing was implied to me in that little
-apparatus, and she suddenly looked up in my face and took hold of my
-hand, and burst out crying. I gave way just for one moment too, but even
-her presence and her sympathy kept me from breaking down altogether. But
-it warmed my heart to Sara to see her crying for my trouble. I took the
-little teapot out of the place it was fitted into and made some tea, and
-gave her some without saying anything. We sat by the table where that
-little lamp was still burning, throwing the steady, cheerful little
-flame that showed so strange in the daylight, upon us. We drank that tea
-together without saying anything, till Sara, not being able to contain
-herself, her heart quite running over with pity for me, took the cup out
-of my hand and threw her arms round me. “We shall be sisters while he is
-away!” cried Sara, not knowing what to say to comfort me. I don’t think
-I said anything; but we were real fast friends from that day.
-
-“But I must have everything cleared away now, before Harry comes in,”
-said I; “he must not see all this litter we have been making. He thinks
-me foolish enough already. Go into the other room, Sara dear, and take a
-book and wait for me. Lizzie is out with baby. I’ll come to you
-presently.”
-
-“As if I could not help!” cried Sara, dashing the tears away off her
-cheek. “Why, oh, Milly, why won’t people let us women do what we were
-born to? This is twenty times pleasanter than going into the other room
-and taking a book.”
-
-And so, I daresay, it was. When everything was tidy we did go into the
-other room. Sara sat near the window, where she could see out without
-being seen herself. I took up some of Harry’s things that I had begun to
-make before Aunt Milly’s money came. I would have made them every one
-myself if I could, but that, to be sure, was impossible; and what a
-comfort it was to think he would have such a good supply of everything;
-but still it was a pleasure to me to have that work. We sat talking for
-some time about other things, about the Park, and Aunt Milly, and Miss
-Mortimer, but without touching upon anything but the surface,--how I
-liked them, and all that,--till at last Sara gave a little start and
-exclamation, and put her hands together. It was something she saw in the
-street. I rose to look over her shoulder what it was.
-
-“There is Mr. Langham and Mr. Luigi,” cried Sara. “What can they be
-talking about? Are they coming in, I wonder? How earnest they both look!
-Now they are turning back again. Oh, Milly, tell me, please! what are
-they talking about?”
-
-“How can I possibly tell you?” said I; but I suppose there was a little
-faltering and consciousness in my tone.
-
-Sara sat watching for some time longer. “They walk up and down, quite
-engrossed in their conversation,” said Sara; “when they reach the end of
-the pavement, they turn back again, up and down, up and down. Now Mr.
-Langham seems urging something upon him--now he turns away, he clasps
-his hands together, he appeals to Mr. Langham. What is it? what is it
-all about? I never can persuade him to tell me. How does he belong to
-the Park or the Mortimers? Why are they frightened for him? Oh, Milly,
-you who have just come from them, tell me what it is? I am not asking
-from vain curiosity--I--I--I have a right----”
-
-Here Sara stopped, overcome with agitation. I was close behind her. I
-could not help growing agitated too.
-
-“Sara, tell _me_!” I cried; “we are both motherless creatures, and you
-have nobody to guide you. Tell me; you call him _he_, you don’t say his
-name. What is he to you?”
-
-Sara turned back and leant her head upon me, and fell into a passion of
-tears again;--different tears--tears for herself, and out of the anguish
-of her heart. She was doing wrong--she knew she was doing wrong--she had
-gone on with it wilfully, knowing it was wrong all the time; and now she
-had gone too far to draw back.
-
-“Oh, Milly, Milly, papa does not know!” she cried, in such a tone of
-misery. And, indeed, I don’t wonder. How could she look him in the face
-knowing how fond of her he was?
-
-“But, Sara, this is dreadfully wrong of Mr. Luigi,” cried I; “he ought
-to know better; he should at least have gone to Mr. Cresswell. It is his
-fault.”
-
-“Was it your Harry’s fault?” cried Sara, starting up in my face, all
-flushed and glowing. “Should he have gone directly and told everybody?
-And you were married, _married_, Milly!--and ever such a time before it
-was found out. How _can_ you pretend to be so shocked at me?”
-
-To see her spring up, all blushing and beautiful, and determined as she
-was--she who had been sobbing on my shoulder a moment before, took me
-entirely by surprise. I retreated a step before her. I could not tell
-what answer to make. She was not ashamed, the little darling creature!
-She was ready to stand up for him against all the world.
-
-“It was not my good father that loved me, it was only my aunt,” I said,
-faltering; “and, besides, it was I who should have told her; and as for
-Harry--Harry----”
-
-“He is no better than Luigi!” cried Sara; “he ought to have gone and
-told and asked for you. You know he should; and you were married,
-actually _married_, and oh, Milly, can you really venture to scold me?”
-
-“If I had nothing else to excuse me I was ashamed, at least,” said I, a
-little sharply.
-
-“I am not ashamed of Lewis!” cried the little girl, stamping her little
-foot and clasping her hands together. When her courage deserted her, she
-came and nestled into my side again, and clasped her arms tight and
-cried. What was to be done? for whatever I might have done myself, I
-could not be an accessory to Sara’s secret, to break her kind father’s
-heart.
-
-“But tell me who he is? What is Mr. Langham speaking to him about?”
-whispered Sara at last.
-
-“Has he not told you who he is?”
-
-“Only that soon he will be able to come to papa and tell him everything,
-but that his duty to somebody prevents him speaking now, till he has
-permission,” said Sara, under her breath. “I am not excusing him,” she
-went on, lifting up her head. “As you say, it was my part to tell papa;
-and it was only just the other day that--that--there was anything to
-tell. We have not been going on making it up for a long time. We have
-not been keeping it secret for months, like some people.”
-
-“Sara, hush,” said I; “you know quite well your case and mine are not
-alike; but, at any rate, I am older and wiser now. Must I, or must
-Harry, go and tell your father?”
-
-Sara looked at me with a degree of affectionate spite and wickedness I
-never saw equalled. “You would, you treacherous, perfidious creature!”
-she cried, flinging away from me; “but Mr. Langham wouldn’t!--you need
-not think it. You will have to go yourself; and papa will think we have
-had a quarrel, and won’t believe you. Ah, Milly! here they are coming
-back. Tell me what Mr. Langham was saying to him? Tell me what it all
-is?”
-
-If I had known ever so well what to tell her, and been as willing as I
-was able, I would have been prevented by Harry’s coming in. He was
-looking grave and perplexed. His interview with Luigi had not satisfied
-_him_, any more than such a conversation had satisfied anybody else who
-approached the Italian. Sara stopped short with the most violent blush
-on her face when she saw him. She withdrew from me, and got into a
-corner. She went to the window, and pretended to be looking out very
-earnestly. She answered Harry’s salutation only over my shoulder. The
-next moment she came whispering to me that it was time for her to go.
-Evidently, however much she encouraged herself by our example, she could
-not face Harry. She whispered, “Don’t tell!” and clenched her little
-fist at me as she went away. Of course I only laughed at her; but it
-appeared I did not need to tell Harry. He came upstairs, after seeing
-her out, with a smile on his face.
-
-“Has she been telling you what trouble she has got herself into? Oh,
-don’t betray her secret,” said Harry. “I have just heard it from the
-other side. Here are other two fools following our example, Milly. What
-is to be done for them? It is worse, you know, in their case, as I took
-pains to show Luigi. Mr. Cresswell is a different person from Aunt
-Connor; and we two were equal in our poverty. I don’t approve,” said
-Harry, with a laugh mingling in his gravity, “of such a thing as this.”
-
-“And what did he say?” said I, thinking, no doubt, that my Harry’s
-wisdom had made the Italian ashamed of himself.
-
-Harry laughed again, but grew rather red. “Word for word what I used to
-say when I was explaining to myself why I did not go and ask you from
-your Aunt Connor. I hope they’ll have as good an issue as we have had,
-Milly, darling,” said Harry, “But here’s some extraordinary mistake
-again. Either we’re mistaken in our guess, which I can’t think possible,
-or poor Luigi’s dreadfully mistaken in the laws of England and of
-civilised life. Perhaps he thinks our being Protestants makes an end of
-law. I can’t tell what he thinks, nor what to think of the whole
-concern. He refuses my mediation, Milly; at least he tells me I am
-wrong.”
-
-“Wrong in what particular?” I asked eagerly.
-
-Harry shook his head. “I can’t tell; but he will not hear of any
-compensation, or of giving up his pursuit of that poor old lady. When
-he saw what I meant he grew very hot and angry, and asked if I meant to
-insult him, but afterwards said to himself, ‘It is in ignorance,’ with a
-sort of magnanimity which would be simply ridiculous according to my
-notion of the affair. They’ll have it out their own way, Milly. We can’t
-interfere, that’s clear; only I wish there was some light thrown upon
-it,” said Harry, “before I went away, that I might know what your
-fortune is likely to be. What would you say if this grand Park of yours
-turned out to be no inheritance for us at all?”
-
-“I should not break my heart; but what _could_ he have to do with the
-Park?” cried I. “If he were Mr. Mortimer’s son, why should Miss Mortimer
-be so troubled about it? and how could he, if he is Miss Mortimer’s----”
-
-“Hush, Milly; we don’t know anything about it. Let’s talk of our own
-concerns,” said Harry, with a sigh. These words plunged me back again
-into the mood from which Sara had roused me. The other things went like
-shadows--this was the real life which belonged to us.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIII.
-
-
-I don’t remember very well after that how these outside affairs went on.
-I used to see them both, of course. Sara came to me almost every day,
-and sometimes helped with my work, and sometimes played with baby, and
-sometimes would read aloud to me when Harry was out. She meant it very
-well and was very good, and a comfort, as much as that was possible. I
-remember being glad when she read, and did not talk, for then I was free
-to my own thoughts. I daresay, thinking it over since, that it must have
-been the fascination of seeing her constantly, which for that interval
-took precedence of everything in Luigi’s mind, and kept him inactive;
-for I heard from Aunt Milly that he had not been to the Park again, nor
-heard of in any way, so far as she knew. And Miss Mortimer had been
-ailing too, and had very bad nights, and had been a whole week that she
-did not come downstairs. I heard all these things at the time without
-taking any notice of them. Harry, after finding himself so unsuccessful
-with Luigi, had given it all up; and we were both too much occupied with
-our own concerns to think of anything else. We did not talk much of what
-was to happen when he was gone. It had come to be tacitly concluded that
-I was to go with Aunt Milly; and, I suppose, that thought that crossed
-Harry’s mind after his conversation with Luigi,--“What if the Park
-should turn out to be no inheritance of ours after all?”--had passed
-away again as it came. I can’t say I ever thought of the Park at that
-time one way or another; and I am sure what Harry was glad for me to
-have, was not the prospect of a great fortune, but the presence of a
-dear friend.
-
-One day he rode out to see Aunt Milly, and take leave of her. He saw
-them both, he told me, but nothing passed that I cared to inquire into.
-We had a great deal to do, which helped us to pull through these days.
-It was such a difficulty to get those things which I had collected,
-packed. Harry’s servant came, and puffed and scratched his head over
-them, and poor Domenico came up to help; and what with his broad laughs
-and pantomime, and his determination to get everything in, and his
-cheerfulness over all his failures, and the ludicrous way in which he
-and Thomson addressed each other, each in his own language, and abused
-each other too, even I was obliged to laugh, and the assistants were all
-kept in good-humour. I felt as if it had been very dark all these
-days--often raining, always cloudy, the streets muddy and uncomfortable,
-and the air stifling. I can’t tell whether it was so in reality, but it
-certainly seemed so to me.
-
-Then the very last day came. Harry was specially busy all that day;
-there were all the men to look after, and he was acting adjutant. I went
-out by myself to see whether I could not find anything else he might
-want. It was very fatiguing walking--I suppose it was a rainy day. When
-I came in I felt very faint, and sat down in a chair in the hall for an
-instant to recover myself. I can’t tell how Luigi knew that I was there;
-but he came out to the door of his room, and stood looking at me for a
-moment. I got up, being jealous that anybody should see me break down,
-just then; but he held up his hand as if to beg me to stay.
-
-“May I say how I think of you?” he said. “Just now you are never out of
-my mind, you and that brave Langham. Patience, patience! such men come
-back--they come back!”
-
-“Oh, hush, hush, hush!” I cried. I could say nothing more, and pressed
-past him to go upstairs.
-
-He put his hand on mine when I laid it on the rail of the stairs,
-detaining me. “We are cousins,” he said, softly; “do not put me away. In
-my country we say cousin-brother--it does not matter, it is the same. I
-will be your brother if you will let me. Tell him. I am not to be
-ashamed of; he knows not; but if _she_ will not do what is right, soon
-all the world must know. I am your brother, at your disposition. Say it
-to him. I will not come to say farewell to disturb you--but tell him; he
-shall trust me, and you may want a brother; we are of one blood.”
-
-“Oh, let me go!” I cried. “I can’t ask you how this is. I can’t thank
-you, though I am sure it is kindness. I can’t think of anything to-day;
-let me go.”
-
-Luigi kissed my hand, and let me go. It startled me very much for the
-moment. I rushed upstairs, feeling as if he had been rude to me;--but
-indeed he had not been rude to me, nor anything the least like it. But
-it startled me into realizing all that was going to happen. That I
-should be alone as to-morrow. I remember running and clutching at the
-blinds which were down, and drawing them up with great haste, and almost
-passion. It seemed to me as if that dim light were predicting something;
-as if the furniture standing about was looking on, and knew what was
-going to be. Now the time was come; I had gone over it and over it in my
-fancy; this would be the last of my rehearsals; to-morrow Harry would be
-away.
-
-And the to-morrow came, as they always do. I did not feel in the least
-diminished in my strength. I did not feel I had any body at all that
-morning. I went with him to the railway steadily, you may suppose. I
-would not lose a moment of the time we were to be together in any folly
-about myself. I remember him saying something about me going home alone,
-and all that, as men _will_ do. But I did not lose sight of him till the
-last moment when the train disappeared into the tunnel; and I can’t tell
-how long I stood there watching, after it had vanished into that
-darkness. Now he was gone! Another train came up, and the crowd
-disturbed me standing there all by myself. I did not feel as if it were
-true; but I went away all the same. I said to myself, over and over
-again, “He is gone;” but it did me no good. I went out of the railway
-not believing in it. Outside there was a cab waiting for me. But
-Domenico rushed forward to open the door, and somehow they had contrived
-that Lizzie and baby should be there to take me home. I heard afterwards
-that Luigi and Domenico were both watching close by all the time, in
-case I should faint, or something. I suppose they thought I would faint,
-not knowing any better. Lizzie’s great eyes, panic-struck, gazing in my
-face, full of tears that she durst not let fall, struck me quite
-strangely when I got into the cab; and then little Harry stretched out
-his arms to me--and then----. But even at the worst it was not so
-dreadful as I thought it would be. I was not sitting blind and
-desperate, with all the world dark before me. No, no; and God forgive me
-for thinking I should. Harry was living and well, and gone to do his
-duty; and this was his boy smiling in my face, and the sun was
-shining----. And I had to live, and to be patient, and to pray.
-
-When we got home, Aunt Milly’s kind face, anxiously gazing out of the
-window, was the first thing I saw. She came running downstairs to take
-me in her arms; she seemed to think it strange I could walk in so
-steadily, and did not want any support. Sara was upstairs too. I have
-no doubt it was kind, the kindest thing possible; but I felt dreadfully
-fatigued, somehow, with that morning’s work. I could have liked to have
-been by myself a little. I went to my own room to put off my bonnet, and
-sat down with a kind of pang of comfort. I thought I was _glad_ it was
-over; and then my eye fell on Harry’s old scarf--and somehow the silence
-came ringing about my ears with no “Milly, darling!” sounding through
-it: and I began to see it was true, and he was away.
-
-When Aunt Milly came stealing into the room after me, she dropped down
-by my side where I was kneeling, and put her kind arms round my waist.
-“Yes, dear, cry!” said Aunt Milly, “it will do you good!” But I did not
-cry after that--I was better. I was glad it was over now.
-
-We waited till we had a message by the telegraph to say the ship was
-just sailing out of the Mersey; for Harry had stopped with me till the
-very last moment. And then we went away. I remember everything so
-clearly that happened that day. I remember how the sun kept shining, and
-how they all looked at me as if I had been ill, and had to be watched
-and cared for at every step. It was all very new to me. In the hall, as
-we were going away, Luigi came up to me again. Aunt Milly had made me
-take her arm; not that I needed it, but she seemed to think I ought to
-need it. Luigi came and took my hand. “Remember!” he said, “I am your
-brother, at your disposition, till he comes back.” I don’t think I made
-him any answer; for the very sight of him made Aunt Milly tremble. He
-went out after us to put us into the carriage, and somehow managed to do
-it, though Aunt Milly was afraid of him. He put her in last of all, and
-kissed her hand. Aunt Milly did not say anything to me for a long time
-after. She kept gazing out of the carriage windows as long as she could
-see Luigi; and I have a kind of consciousness that he stood there, with
-his hat off, as long as we could be seen on the road. For the moment she
-had returned into her own trouble and forgotten mine. I leaned out of
-the other window, and felt the wind on my face. Ah, God send the winds
-were safe upon the sea! He was gone--really gone. I was not even to hear
-of him for a long time; and when I was to see him, God knew alone. I was
-swept out of his sight, and he out of mine, as if we did not belong to
-each other. There was only One now, in heaven or earth, that at the same
-moment could see him and me. When I thought of that it melted all my
-heart. Our Father, the only father we two had, saw us both, with no
-boundaries between us--all that time when I could neither see nor hear
-of Harry, God was my link to my husband. He knew. We were both in His
-eye if we were worlds asunder. There, we were near to each other,
-however else we might be separate. The impression came so strong upon me
-that for a moment I could not say I was less than _glad_. No distance in
-the world, though it put us for a time out of sight of each other, could
-ever put us out of the sight of God.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIV.
-
-
-Nobody will be surprised when I say, that, after this, things got into
-their usual way very soon, and that when the event was over, everything
-subsided round it, and soon Aunt Milly began to forget that I was the
-invalid (in spirit) whom she had taken such tender care of, and brought
-back all her budget of perplexities and troubles to pour them into my
-ear; and after a day or two’s retirement in my own room, which was an
-ease to me, I went downstairs and about, and took a share in everything.
-Miss Mortimer had got better of her illness, if illness it was. She sat
-within the screen as usual, doing her knitting, and not taking much
-notice of anybody. I don’t know whether she had really suffered in her
-health, but it seemed to me that she got thinner, and that sometimes
-there was a gleam of fiery restrained excitement in her eyes, which were
-rather cold eyes by nature. We were told that she still had very bad
-nights; and I am sure, two or three times when I met poor Carson by
-accident, it took all my self-control to keep me from speaking to her,
-and begging her to deliver herself, somehow, from this dreadful yoke. I
-never saw exhaustion and a kind of weak despair so written upon
-anybody’s face. These bad nights, whatever they might be to the
-mistress, must have been murderous work to the poor maid.
-
-“My dear,” said Aunt Milly, “I shall never forget that young man’s look
-as he put me into the carriage, and kissed my hand.” Aunt Milly held out
-her plump soft hand as she spoke, and looked at it. “They have a habit
-of doing so, these Italians. But if you will believe me, Milly, it was
-actually an _affectionate_ look the poor young fellow gave me; and I
-have never asked you what he meant; he was your brother, he said. My
-dear, what did he mean? Ah, I remember how disappointed I was to find
-that he was not your brother, and Richard Mortimer’s son. That would
-have been such a happy solution of everything! but tell me why he called
-himself your brother? Was it only sympathy, Milly?”
-
-“He said we were of the same blood; he said we were relations,” said I,
-with some hesitation.
-
-The book she had been reading fell out of Aunt Milly’s hand.
-“Relations!” she cried, faltering and growing pale; “then, Milly, there
-can be no doubt at all about it. Milly, I tell you he must be my
-father’s son; how could you be _relations_? And indeed, indeed,” cried
-Aunt Milly, growing more and more agitated, “I can’t bear this any
-longer. Now you are with me to support me, I must take it into my own
-hands. I will go and write to him this moment, and ask him down here to
-clear it all up. Don’t say anything--I must do it; it is impossible to
-go on living in this way.”
-
-“But Miss Mortimer?” said I.
-
-“Miss Mortimer?” cried Aunt Milly, with a little scream, that was almost
-hysterical, “what can my sister Sarah have to do with it? It is no
-harder upon her than it is upon me. If he is my father’s son, how can
-she be mixed up in it? And how can you and he be relations unless he is
-my father’s son? Don’t speak to me, Milly. He shall come here and tell
-it all, and at least we shall know what there is to fear.”
-
-“But if she were too much excited it might make her ill,” said I,
-dreading that visit, without knowing anything to say against it.
-
-“I can’t help it!” cried Aunt Milly, “I am desperate. Think of living
-and enjoying what doesn’t belong to you! Oh, Milly, Milly! what do you
-think I must do? I never was in secrets and mysteries before; it’s
-dreadful to me; and Sarah would not yield to tell what she’s kept hidden
-so long, not for her life. We’ll see how she looks to-night. I did not
-think she looked any worse than usual. I would not hurt her, you may be
-sure, not for any relief to myself; but we can’t go on with this hanging
-over us, Milly,” she said, with faltering lips. “I’ll write to-morrow; I
-certainly will write to-morrow. Relations! My dear, dear child, it will
-be a dreadful disappointment to you; but that is as good as proof.”
-
-Poor Aunt Milly! she was desperate, as she said; and what good it would
-do writing, or asking, or even demanding anything, that one of the
-people who knew it would guard at the cost of her life, and the other
-would disclose only at his own time, I could not see. Luigi had refused
-to tell her already; he would not tell Sara Cresswell. He was waiting a
-permission that never, never in this world would be given. And he, too,
-must be deluded. What could he think our laws or our principles were if
-he could have any rights, but those of shame? It was all a mystery; I
-could see that Aunt Milly’s idea was quite a false one. But I dared not
-tell her that idea of my own, which, perhaps, for anything I knew,
-might prove as false as hers.
-
-That morning I went out with Lizzie and my boy. He could walk now along
-the sunny road holding my finger, and trot after his own little shadow,
-and try to catch the motes in the sunshine, as I suppose all babies
-do--but, to be sure, it is just as original and strange in every child
-that does it, for all that. I was walking by him, very tranquil and even
-contented in my mind. There had been very quiet weather; and little
-Harry was so well and so beautiful; and I felt so much more as if I
-could trust my Harry himself in God’s hands without trembling for him
-every moment, that my heart opened out a little to the beautiful day. I
-don’t know that I should have borne to see Domenico, much less to speak
-to him, but for that----
-
-For there was Domenico, unmistakably, on the edge of the common. He was
-dressed in a white linen suit, all white, as if he wanted to make his
-enormous bulk and his black beard as remarkable as possible in this
-beardless and sober-minded country. It was warm weather now, and I
-daresay he thought the hot summer was coming as in his own home. Baby,
-with whom he had always been a favourite, gave a little shout at sight
-of him, and tottered forward a step or two. Of course Domenico’s hat had
-been in his hand from the first moment he saw me. He threw it down on
-the grass now, and seized little Harry, and tossed him up in his arms. I
-was afraid of this play, but my brave boy was not; he actually boxed at
-Lizzie with his little fists when I begged Domenico to set him down.
-
-“Pardon,” said Domenico; “I--me--make demand of the signora, pardon--it
-pleases to the piccolo signorino beebee. I--Domenico--here--this,” said
-the great fellow, punching his breast, that I might be quite sure of the
-person he meant, “take joy in heart for see the signora another time.”
-
-“Thank you, Domenico,” said I. “I shall never forget how kind you have
-been. What is it that brings you here?”
-
-Domenico pointed round to various points of the compass, not seeming
-sure which to fix upon, and then burst into a great laugh at himself.
-“It pleases to the signora to pardon,” said Domenico; “when not to have
-the book not clevare to make the speak. Here is the master of me.”
-
-“Your master, Domenico?--where?” cried I.
-
-Once more Domenico looked round to all the points of the compass. “He
-here--he here--puff--Ecco!--he move far away--to make the time go. Here
-my master come to make the visit--the signora not to know the other
-signora? Yes, yes; in that large big palazzo of not any colour. Behold!
-The my master there go.”
-
-“Who is he going to see there?” asked I, with some anxiety.
-
-Domenico held up his hand with many elaborate gestures of caution and
-silence. Then he bent his enormous person forward and stooped to my ear.
-When he spoke it was in a whisper. “It is need to speak silent--silent!
-The signora contessa,” said Domenico, with half-important, half-guilty
-air of one who communicates a secret. I drew back from him in utter
-bewilderment--what could he mean?
-
-“There is no contessa there, Domenico,” said I, in my ordinary tone;
-“your master is deceived.”
-
-Domenico held up his hand with an evident entreaty that I would be
-cautious. Then he looked back upon Lizzie, the only person in sight. “I
-not fear for the Lizzie,” said Domenico; and then launched forth into a
-half-whispered description of the contessa, whoever that might be. But I
-confess that Domenico’s description, being Italian whenever he warmed,
-and only when he slackened and recollected himself falling into such
-English as he was capable of, was difficult to make out. I fully entered
-into Lizzie’s feeling, that it was “awfu’ fickle to ken what he meant
-when it was a long story.” I remained profoundly bewildered, and unable
-to make out one word in ten.
-
-As for learning anything about the contessa--poor fellow!--or, rather,
-it was his master that was to be pitied--evidently here was some new
-mistake, some additional impediment to the finding out of this mystery.
-I left Lizzie with little Harry on the common, and went rather sadly
-home. This little bit of apparent foolishness naturally set me all
-astray as to the mysterious business which had cost us so much thought.
-Was it a mistake of Domenico’s perhaps? for Luigi and Miss Mortimer had
-actually met, and there could be no mistake there.
-
-When I looked back that great white apparition was keeping Lizzie
-company on the common. They were a strange couple; but I cannot say I
-had any such doubts or fears concerning Domenico’s attendance, as a
-proper mistress ought to have had. I flattered myself Lizzie was a great
-deal too young to take any harm. She stood with her red-brown hair a
-little blown about her eyes: her clear, sanguine complexion, her angular
-and still awkward figure, looking up at the man-monster beside her, and
-holding up her hand to shade her eyes from the sun, which was shining
-in her face. While Domenico, with all his great proportions expanded by
-his white dress, impended over her, his smiling mouth opening in the
-midst of his black beard, an _outre_ extraordinary foreign figure,
-enough to drive any staid English village out of its propriety. I
-remember the picture they made as distinctly as possible, with the green
-common surrounding them, and the gorse bushes all bursting into flower;
-and my own beautiful baby tottering about the fragrant grass. I was
-quite secure in Lizzie’s love and Domenico’s kindness. I went away with
-a smile at the curious group upon that soft English common--both figures
-alien to the soil--and with a tenderness in my breast to them both.
-Domenico had made himself well understood in another language, if not in
-that of ordinary spoken communications. I shall always have a kindness
-to his whole nation for that good fellow’s sake.
-
-As I paused at the gate of the Park, I saw another figure advancing by
-an opposite road. I recognised Luigi in a moment. He was coming
-hurriedly down between the green hedges, no doubt coming to pay that
-visit of which Domenico had warned me. I rushed in, with all the
-eagerness of a child, to get my bonnet off and be in the drawing-room
-before he came.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XV.
-
-
-When I reached the drawing-room, after throwing off my bonnet and
-arranging my hair in the most breathless haste, terrified to hear the
-summons at the door before I was downstairs, I was thunderstruck to find
-Sara Cresswell there. The sight of her made an end of my awkward feeling
-of shame for my own haste and curiosity. Surely this was nothing less
-than a crisis that was coming. Sara had just arrived, and was explaining
-the reasons for her visit in such a very fluent and demonstrative way,
-that I could see at once they were all made up, and some motive entirely
-different from those she mentioned had brought her. She was still in her
-hat and velvet jacket, seated rather on the edge of her chair, talking
-very volubly, but looking breathless and anxious, while Aunt Milly, who
-was sitting in her own place, opposite her sister, and near the
-fireplace, looked at her, perplexed and uncertain, evidently rather
-suspicious of the many motives which had procured us this visit; which,
-if Sara had only said nothing about it, would have been received as a
-delightful surprise, and wanted no accounting for. It was evidently a
-great relief to Sara when I came in; she came to kiss me, turning her
-face away from Aunt Milly, and caught hold of me so tight, and gave me
-such a troubled, emphatic look, that even if I had not heard before, I
-should have known something was coming. I stood by her breathless for a
-moment, wondering why the door-bell did not ring,--Luigi had certainly
-had abundant time to have got to the door,--and then went up to the
-other end of the room on pretence of finding my work; while Sara,
-instead of following me, dropped into her chair again, evidently too
-nervous, too anxious, too eager to see the first of it and lose nothing,
-to do anything but sit still. We were both traitors and plotters. She
-had come to watch something that was about to happen, but which the
-principal person concerned did not know. While I, more cruel still, took
-my trembling way up to the other end of the apartment, and stationed
-myself behind Aunt Milly, that I might not lose a look or word from Miss
-Mortimer. I felt ashamed of myself, but I could not help it. I felt a
-kind of conviction that this was to be the decisive day.
-
-But still there was no sound at the door; there was time to look round
-all the peaceable vast room, and be struck by the quietness, the repose
-of the scene in which some act of this mysterious drama was about to be
-enacted. It was always very light here, but the bright day and the
-sunshine out of doors, made it now even lighter than usual, and refused
-to any of us the slightest shade for our faces, whatever undue
-expression might come to them. Sara had adopted the only expedient
-possible, by turning her back upon the light, and had, besides, a little
-shelter in her hat. But dear Aunt Milly, looking at her favourite with a
-troubled inquiring expression, and laying down the work she had in hand
-in order to examine Sara’s countenance the better, was so fully set
-forth in all her looks, movements, and almost feelings, by that broad
-clear day-light, that I shrank back from it in spite of myself, fearing
-that it would betray me too. The only shadow in the room was that
-afforded by Miss Mortimer’s screen. She sat there just as usual, in her
-violet-coloured dress, her light muslin embroidered scarf, worn without
-any lining, now that the weather was warm, and her pretty cap, with
-ribbons corresponding to her dress; her head moving so slightly that it
-was difficult to perceive the motion; her pattern-book open on her knee,
-her head bent over it. At this moment, when the thunders of Providence
-were just about to break over her, she sat there, with her head over her
-knitting-book, counting her stitches, and trying a new pattern. When I
-saw how she was occupied, my own trembling pretence at work fell from my
-hands. I gazed at her openly with a wonder which was almost awe. My
-heart cried out against her in her dread composure. The Avenger was
-coming, and there she sat, all conscious, aware, in every nerve, of her
-guilt, and yet able to maintain that hideous calm. Yes! it would have
-been sublime had she been a good woman, threatened by some undeserved
-doom. I declare it was ghastly, devilish, dreadful to me!
-
-All this time nobody came to the door. I daresay, perhaps, it was not
-very many minutes after all; but in the excitement and suspense it
-seemed a very long time to me. And either the house was specially quiet,
-or there was something in my agitated condition which made me think so.
-Miss Mortimer never lifted her head; if she had not been so engaged with
-her pattern, surely she would have noticed the perplexed looks of Aunt
-Milly, and my excited face. But she did not, she kept working on at her
-new stitch. We all relapsed into perfect silence; Sara’s voluble excuses
-for herself died all at once off her lips. Aunt Milly dropped into a
-strange anxious silence, looking at her. As for myself, I could not have
-spoken a word whatever had been the consequences. Sara’s nervous motion
-of her foot on the carpet startled me so much that I had nearly
-committed myself by some cry of agitation. It was a dread, inexplainable
-pause, which nobody dared either break or account for. Dead silence and
-expectation. And Miss Mortimer bending her head over her pattern-book
-counting the loops for her new stitch.
-
-The bell did not ring. If it had rung it must have startled us all so
-much as to diminish the sense of what was coming; there was no such
-premonition;--a little sound of steps and subdued voices in the hall
-made my heart beat so loud that I felt sure my Aunt Milly must have
-heard it. Sara looked up at me suddenly when that sound became audible.
-Her face was perfectly colourless, and her hands firmly clasped
-together.
-
-“Children, what is it?” said Aunt Milly, with a sharp frightened cry,
-breaking off suddenly in a troubled manner as the steps drew nearer.
-Miss Mortimer lifted her head from her book. She looked up, she looked
-full at me; she smiled. She was listening, but she was not afraid.
-
-When suddenly the door was thrown open; Ellis called out, with his
-fullest voice: “The Count Sormonata,” and somebody came in. I cannot
-tell who it was that came in. I heard Sara cry out with a kind of shriek
-and repeat the name, “The Count Sermoneta!” The work and the book and
-all the trifling matters about her fell off from Miss Mortimer. She rose
-up, clenching her hand, ghastly, like a dead woman. She cried out in a
-voice I shall never forget: “he is dead, _dead!_” she cried, with the
-wildest scream and outcry. “I tell you, he is dead, dead! My God, he is
-dead! Will nobody believe me?” shrieked out the miserable woman. Her
-sister ran to her, and was thrust away with those terrible clenched
-hands. But she never turned to look, nor cast aside her screen that hid
-the new comer from her. She stood still like some frightful statue,
-rigid, with her wild eyes fixed upon the air before her--heaven knows
-what she might see there!--listening in some frightful agony to the
-steps that came slowly up the room. When that scream burst from her the
-footsteps faltered and stopped. Then Miss Mortimer looked at me, the
-only creature she saw before her, and laughed a dreadful laugh of
-madness and misery. “He knows it!” she cried out, triumphantly, “if you
-did not, he does. He is dead, dead!” and then came to another dreadful
-pause, leaning her clenched hands upon the table and fixing her wild
-eyes upon something straight before her. While I followed the mad stare
-of her eyes with a shudder I could not refrain, another person came with
-noiseless rapidity into the spot she was gazing on. It was not a
-spectre--it was simply Luigi, from whose face agitation had banished all
-the colour, and who stood trembling and speechless, wringing his hands,
-and gazing at her with an unspeakable appeal and entreaty. She did not
-say anything more; she stood with her eyes full opened and staring wide,
-leaning her hands on that table. I believe, if anybody had touched her,
-she would have fallen. I almost believed, while I looked at her, that
-she had died standing, and that it was a lifeless form that stood fixed
-in that horrible erect attitude, fronting us all, fronting a thousand
-times more than us, all the guilt and sins of her life. I gave a cry
-myself in the extremity of my terror and trouble. I went to her, I
-cannot tell how, stumbling over Aunt Milly, who had either fallen or
-fainted, or I cannot tell what. I went and put my arm round that
-dreadful ghastly figure. It was not her I was approaching, but _it_, the
-terrible mask and image of her. I had not a thought but that she was
-dead.
-
-When I touched her, she fell, as I had thought she would. But so strong
-an impression did her dreadful appearance have upon me, that, when her
-figure sank into the chair and showed some elasticity, instead of going
-down on the floor, crumbling down, dropping to pieces, as somehow I had
-expected, I was struck with a horrible fear and surprise. She was not
-dead. I called out to them all, what were we to do? and she seemed to
-hear me. I saw, with a terror I cannot explain, her terrible eyes turn
-from Luigi--they looked at me, at Aunt Milly, they cast a glance over
-the room. Was it that the spirit was living and the body dead?
-
-I cannot tell what we did for a dreadful interval after that. Carson
-came into the confused crowd. Luigi disappeared to find a doctor, and we
-tried to get her lifted and laid upon the sofa. But though she neither
-moved nor spoke, and scarcely seemed to breathe, she resisted, in some
-dreadful way, and would not be removed. I shall never forget that
-dreadful face; when I am ill it comes back to me, a recollection never
-to be banished;--dead--yet never consenting to die, keeping alive,
-determined, resolute, unshaken. I can see the discoloured lips begin to
-move, the words formed on the inarticulate tongue, the eyes lightening
-out of that fixed stare. Half the house had stolen into the room in
-this dreadful emergency without anybody observing them. But the dead
-woman observed them. And I, who was standing nearest, recoiled from her
-side, and the whole circle round her broke up and fell back in
-speechless horror, when a sound broke from that dreadful convulsed
-mouth. Old Carson, trembling but faithful, stood by her mistress. The
-poor creature said she understood that sound. It was to send everybody
-away, said the woman, whose limbs would scarcely support her, and whose
-very teeth chattered. They all went away, terrified but curious; the
-boldest lingered behind the screen. Nobody remained within sight of
-those dreadful eyes but Aunt Milly and me. We two stood huddled on each
-other, not daring to say a word, or even to exchange looks. Carson stood
-by her mistress’s side. Carson knew all and everything, more than we
-knew. She held some cordial to the dead lips, she chafed the ghastly
-hand, she gazed with pitiful eyes and tears and entreaties at the
-terrible face. This woman was not deserted in her terrible necessity.
-The voice of that humble love reached somehow to the springs of
-existence, and she came back slowly, in a solemn, fearful waking, out of
-death into life. We stood looking on, with an awe and terror impossible
-to describe. It was a miracle slowly enacting before us. She was dead
-and was alive again. Ghastly and dreadful, like a woman out of the
-grave, Miss Mortimer woke up to all her misery again.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVI.
-
-
-This extraordinary revival was going on when the doctor rushed in.
-Carson, who had been the principal person in all this scene, rushed at
-him and drew him back. She kept her hand on his arm, detained him, ran
-into voluble but trembling explanations. When he came forward the doctor
-gazed with a troubled face at the patient. A fainting fit brought on by
-great agitation; nobody could give any other account of it; he felt her
-pulse, and prescribed, and lingered, and looked at us all with mingled
-inquiry and suspicion. What had we been doing to her? Why had she not
-been removed to bed? A flash came from the awakening eyes. She made a
-motion of her hand, waving him away, then looked at me, and pointed
-vaguely but imperatively before her. When I did not obey immediately,
-she repeated the question, and at last spoke, with great evident pain,
-impatience, and imperiousness: “Bring him?” were those the words? She
-was so imperative, so fiercely determined, that I hastened out to call
-Luigi. I found him at the door watching, very pale, and in profound
-distress. He came in after me without saying a word; he went up to her
-without waiting for me, and knelt down at her feet, and took her hands
-in his own. “Mother! Mother!” cried the young man. If it did not go to
-her heart, it went to the heart of every other person present; and Aunt
-Milly, with a great cry of amazement and terror, repeated it after him,
-“Mother!” But who could think of any discovery then? The doctor stood
-listening, thunderstruck, behind the screen. I believe Sara Cresswell
-was in the room. But we who were round about this terrible figure could
-observe nothing else, except the dread inarticulate waves of passion
-that kept rising in her dead face. She thrust at her son with a wild
-motion of her bloodless hands as if to put him away. She questioned him
-with her eyes in such frantic impatience, because he could not
-understand her, that the sight was more than I could bear. I fell back
-from her trembling and like to faint. Then her will got the better of
-her weakness. She cried out aloud, with a voice that I am sure could
-have been heard all over the house;--it was not a living voice; it rang
-out wild, and loud, and hard, in separate words,--“Where is he?--_he_?
-dead! let him come. I know he is dead, let him come;--Count!” and here
-the terrible voice rose and broke in a wild horror of babbling cries.
-God help us! It was a dreadful scene. Aunt Milly stood supporting
-herself by a chair, unable to utter a word or even to move. I was afraid
-to stir, lest I should faint and fall on the floor. Carson only stood
-close by her mistress, supporting her head and gazing with wistful eyes
-at Luigi; the young man stumbled up from his knees in an agony of pity
-and horror. He held up his hands in wild appeal, whether to her, or to
-us, or only to God, I cannot tell. “It is my father!” he cried. “She
-thinks it was my father; and I am to blame!” Then he knelt down again
-humbly at her feet, and held up his clasped hands to her as if he were
-praying. I think he must have done it with an intention of drawing her
-attention by any means, and to prove to her that it was the truth he
-said.
-
-“Mother,” he cried, looking up at those eyes which had returned, and
-were fixed upon him,--“mother, I am your son! My father is dead and
-undisturbed in his grave; he has sent me to his wife. It is I, it is no
-other. He is with the saints, where there are no names. It is I who am
-Sermoneta; mother! Oh, heaven, does she not hear me? _will_ she not hear
-me? It was I, only I. It was Luigi, Countess! If I must not bear your
-name, I must bear my own. I say it was I, not my father, who can neither
-do evil nor endure it,--me, either Luigi Sermoneta or Lewis Mortimer, as
-you will,--your son!”
-
-It is impossible to describe the effect this had upon us all. Aunt Milly
-burst forth into weeping, convulsive, and not to be restrained. Poor
-Carson’s bosom heaved with silent sobs. Luigi, who had risen up as he
-said these last words, stood erect in a passionate self-assertion and
-defence before his miserable mother. Even she changed under this sudden
-blaze of revelation. She sat up in her chair, and grew more human; her
-rigid head began to tremble, her dread-eyes to lose their horror. Now it
-was no longer that mad ghastly stare with which she regarded the young
-man before her. She looked at him, leaning forward, slowly recovering
-her powers. Some convulsive gasps or sobs in her throat alone
-interrupted this pause of terrible silence. She looked at him, from head
-to foot, with a slow, dismal scrutiny. Only once before in her life had
-she met him face to face; then she had been strong enough to send him
-away and disown him. Now, perforce, the mother looked at her son. The
-young man trembled under that steady gaze; he held out his hands, and
-cried out “Mother!” as if all the eloquence in the world lay in that
-word. She continued perusing him all over with that slow examination.
-Gradually she returned to be herself again. Not changed, not subdued!
-Out of that death and agony there came forth, not a repentant woman, but
-Sarah Mortimer, a creature who would not believe in everlasting truth
-and justice--not though one should rise from the dead.
-
-“If you are Count Sermoneta,” she said, with all her old expression,
-pausing between the words to get strength, but speaking in her usual
-voice, “how do you dare come to me and offer what your father refused?
-Impostor! you shall never, never, never sit in my father’s place! I
-disown you. I--I have nothing to do with you. What! would you kill me
-again?”
-
-Here I interposed; I could not help myself. My very soul sickened at
-her. I came forward, without knowing what I was doing. “Let her alone,”
-I cried out, “don’t say anything. She has died and come alive again, and
-is no better. Do you think you can move her? Oh, Aunt Milly, it is your
-part now. Take him away out of her sight, leave her alone in her
-wretchedness. Can you bear to see her smiling there?--_smiling_ at us!
-She is dead, and it is a devil that has come into her frame!”
-
-“Milly, hush, hush, you are mad,” cried Sara Cresswell, behind me; but
-Aunt Milly did not think I was mad. She came and put her arm into
-Luigi’s, her tears driven away by horror and indignation. “As sure as
-God sees us all,” cried Aunt Milly, “I will do you justice. Come away
-from her, as Milly, says. You make her wickeder and wickeder--Oh,
-wickeder than she really is! Oh, Sarah,” she cried out, turning suddenly
-round, “is it true?--is he your son?”
-
-Miss Mortimer said nothing;--the very colour had returned to her face.
-Her head trembled excessively, but she had forced some frightful
-caricature of a smile upon her lip. She held out her hand and pointed at
-them in a kind of derision. “You were always a fool,” she said at last,
-with a gasp. Aunt Milly did not wait or hesitate any longer. She was
-possessed, like me, with a sudden impatience and intolerance of that
-inhuman hard-heartedness. She went away hastily out of the room,
-drawing Luigi with her. Miss Mortimer listened to the sound of their
-steps till it had quite died away. Then she turned round to Carson with
-some instinctive confession of weakness at last. Their eyes met; but
-even Carson could no longer receive this dreadful confidence. She
-stumbled back from her mistress with a cry. “I cannot, I cannot!” cried
-Carson, “anything but this. I held him in my arms a baby, and I’ll never
-disown him, if I was to die.” As her mistress turned round upon her,
-Carson retreated back till she came to the wall, and stood there, fixed
-and desperate, holding up her hands as if to keep off those pursuing
-eyes. “Whatever you please!” cried Carson, “but not to disown him as I
-dressed the first day he was in this world. No! not for no payment nor
-coaxing! I’ve served you faithful all times and seasons, but I’ll not do
-no more, not if I was to die!”
-
-Miss Mortimer sat gazing at her rebellious maid. What no other appeal
-could do this did. She sank into the frail old woman she was, as she
-gazed at Carson, who had forsaken her. She broke forth into feeble,
-passionate tears. She could bear to send her son away from her, but she
-could not bear to lose her faithful companion and attendant of forty
-years. “Carson!” cried the broken voice, in a tone of absolute despair.
-Then Miss Mortimer rose up. I ran forward to her in terror, and so did
-Sara, but she waved us both away, steadied herself, cast a long look
-upon the woman who stood trembling against the wall, and slowly turned
-to make her way out of the room. She walked like some one upon whom
-sudden blindness had fallen, wavering, stopping to steady herself,
-putting out her hand to pilot the way, groping through the piercing
-daylight that penetrated every corner of the room. We followed her,
-trembling and terrified. As she went slowly through the long room, heavy
-sobs came from her poor breast, sobs of which she was not conscious; her
-muslin scarf had been torn and crushed in her dreadful faint, if it was
-a faint, and hung all dishevelled from her shoulders. One hand hung
-loosely down by her side, the other she groped with as she made her way.
-Now and then she moaned aloud. Oh, miserable forsaken creature! there
-had been still one link of life to hold her on to the living world.
-
-We went after her, silent, hushing our very steps lest she should turn
-upon us, and watching with a perfect awe of wonder how she steered
-herself through the room; she stumbled on the stair, but still rejected
-any assistance. All the way up she went forlorn, accepting no support.
-When we reached her door, I rushed forward not to let her shut me out.
-“Let me be your maid to-night,” I cried out, laying my hand upon hers.
-Her hand made me shiver; it was cold, as if it had actually been dead.
-She pushed me back, not looking at me, and shut the door. What she did,
-or how she sustained herself in that vacant room, we could see no
-longer. Sara and I, arrested at the door, turned and looked into each
-other’s faces. Sara broke out into the passionate tears of excitement
-and agitation which could be restrained no longer. “She will kill
-herself!” cried Sara. “Oh, godmamma, let me in, let _me_ in. I will
-never cross you or trouble you. I will wait upon you night and day,
-godmamma!” No answer came. We tried to open the door, but she had
-fastened it. We could do nothing but leave her alone in this dreadful
-solitude. For a little while a rustling sound of motion was in the room,
-and still those pathetic, unconscious moans breaking at intervals into
-the silence. But after a while all became still. She had not fainted or
-fallen, for we should have heard her. She made no answer to our
-entreaties--dead silence reigned in the room where that living spirit,
-with all its dread forces and passions, palpitated within its veil of
-worn-out flesh. I could imagine her taking possession of that dreadful
-solitude, losing at a blow far more than reputation or fair-fame, all
-that made her life tolerable to her, entering upon a new, unthought of,
-murderous purgatory. We could not make up our minds to leave that closed
-door. Sara was still crying, and almost hysterical with her long strain
-of excitement. I made her go into the neighbouring room, where Lizzie
-was with my boy, while I ran downstairs for Aunt Milly. Oh, what a
-contrast it was! I snatched little Harry into my arms to kiss him, and
-went away again, with a pity, I cannot describe, past the door where
-that dreadful forsaken woman lay alone in the silence. I could not bear
-it. God alone knew how she had sinned; but to leave her thus deserted in
-her misery was not in the heart of man.
-
-I ran downstairs very hastily without waiting to think--at the foot of
-the stairs Carson stood crying. She gasped out an inquiry at me which
-was not audible at first. “Is she alone? alone? alone? Will nobody stay
-with her?” cried Carson. “Oh, ma’am, my missis will never let me near
-her again! I know it’s no use trying; but, for the love of mercy, let
-somebody get into the room! There’s poisons and all sorts there. God
-forgive me! couldn’t I have held my tongue?” cried the poor woman, in an
-agony of terror. I was angry with her in the impatience of my thoughts.
-I did not consider for how many long years Carson had endured all.
-
-“But why can’t you go up now? try if she will let you in; she is fond of
-you, Carson,” said I. “Oh, go, go, and try.”
-
-“She’ll never look at me more,” said Carson with mournful certainty;
-“but I’ll go, I’ll try. If it was at the end of the world, I’d go; but
-she’ll never see me again.” The poor woman went upstairs saying this
-over to herself, and dreadful as it was to think so, I was certain she
-was right.
-
-And I went on to the library where Aunt Milly was. She had forgotten her
-sister. She was listening, with a glowing face, with tears, and
-outcries, and lamentations, to the tale Luigi told her. Some papers were
-lying before them, and a miniature, which caught my eye even at such a
-moment--a picture of a lovely fair woman, imperious and splendid. I
-cannot say that it bore any resemblance to the wretched, solitary
-creature upstairs; but I knew it was Sarah Mortimer,--Sarah Mortimer,
-unkind, untrue, a woman making no account of love or tenderness; but not
-the Sarah Mortimer who had delivered herself to the devil, and turned
-her back upon nature. I pointed at it unconsciously in my excitement. It
-was easier than naming her name.
-
-“Do you know she is alone upstairs, by herself?” cried I, “perhaps
-dying, and nobody with her! Aunt Milly, you are her sister. She will
-neither let us in, nor answer us. You have a right to go to her. There
-are all kinds of dangerous things in the room--she might die!”
-
-“But Carson--Carson is there,” cried Aunt Milly, grasping my hand, to
-bring me to myself. “My dear, Carson is a better companion than either
-you or me.”
-
-“But Carson has gone,” I cried, “Carson will never be with her any more.
-Hush! was that a sound upstairs? Come, I entreat you! She is all alone,
-quite alone, not a creature with her. It is heartrending to think what
-she is doing there--come! come!”
-
-Aunt Milly stood perplexed. She could not comprehend Carson’s absence,
-and I might have had a long account of the whole matter to go through
-had not Luigi come to my assistance. He took her hand hurriedly, and
-pressed it in his own.
-
-“My aunt, I can wait,” said Luigi, “and I _will_ till there is time for
-me; but my mother, my mother is----”
-
-Aunt Milly started, and understood all in a moment. His mother, the
-unfortunate wretched woman who had disowned and rejected him--no need
-for over-much explaining, or setting-forth of all the darker shades of
-the picture to show her wretchedness. Nature and she had parted company,
-and there was nothing too dreadful that might not befall her in the
-fatal silence of that secluded room.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVII.
-
-
-All the remainder of that dreadful afternoon we spent in vain endeavours
-to get admission. No answer came to us from those closed doors--silence,
-dead and unbroken, was within those concealing walls, which it seemed
-wonderful to me did not beat and throb with the torturing life within
-them. The whole house was disturbed, as was to be supposed. While we
-stood in an anxious, troubled group round Miss Mortimer’s door, Carson,
-with her melancholy and ashamed face, stood anxious and terrified at a
-little distance--the maids below came to take furtive peeps upon the
-stairs--and Ellis himself stood listening in the hall, catching at every
-sound. The whole house was conscious of some dreadful crisis, which had
-occurred, or was occurring; and even in the frightful anxiety which
-possessed us, Aunt Milly began to feel that extraordinary infraction of
-all the decorums of such a house. She whispered to Sara to leave us, and
-go downstairs to restore the equilibrium of the household a little, and
-sent Carson into Lizzie’s room, where the poor creature sank,
-overpowered and almost fainting, upon the bed. Then Aunt Milly went away
-to her own apartment, and came back with a huge bunch of keys. With
-these in her hand she motioned me to follow her round about into the
-little corridor to which Miss Mortimer’s dressing-room opened. “Milly,
-stand by me,” she cried, with a sob. “I’d rather face so many lions than
-go in upon her against her will--but it must be--I cannot help myself.
-After what we saw to-day, I should be guilty, I should be a
-criminal--don’t you think so, Milly?--if I left her alone to-night.”
-
-It was getting dusk, and the light was pale and ghastly in that little
-corridor which was close upon the backstairs, and very bare and chill.
-The door opened without the assistance of the keys. We went into the
-little luxurious room where the fire burned brightly, warm though the
-weather was, and which bore all the marks of being lived in and
-cherished. An easy-chair and footstool were placed at the side of the
-fire, and close by stood a little table with a raised ornamental rim,
-like a tray, in which some books and some of Miss Mortimer’s materials
-for work were placed. At the other end of the room was a window, where
-stood a plain rush-bottomed chair and a large round basket of work;
-there was Carson’s place; and the union of the two in this their joint
-retirement and dwelling-place--the junction of the lady’s luxuries and
-the servant’s labours in this habitation common to them both--struck me
-with a pathetic force, now that this old, long, immemorial connection
-was brought to a close so hurriedly. Aunt Milly did not linger in this
-room; she went straight to the door leading into the bedchamber which
-was fastened. “Sarah,” she called softly, “Sarah!” there was no answer.
-We listened, and the silence round was dreadful; the silence and the
-gathering twilight, and the terrible mystery of life or death that lay
-in that closed-up room. Then she tried the keys with her trembling
-hands. Still not a word from the solitary within, not even of
-remonstrance or indignation. After what seemed to us a dreadful tedious
-interval, in which the night appeared visibly to darken round us, the
-lock at length yielded. The key that had been in it fell, with a dull,
-heavy sound, inside, making our hearts beat. Then Aunt Milly opened the
-door. I shall never forget the sensation with which I entered that dark
-room. What we were to find there, a ghastly corpse or a miserable living
-creature, nobody could tell; treading on the soft carpets that made our
-footsteps noiseless, brushing past those soft-drawn curtains which shut
-out every draught, coming into this atmosphere of care, and comfort, and
-luxury, the contrast was almost too dreadful to bear. I remember trying
-to listen for her breath, but could not for the terrified beating of my
-own heart. The darkness made everything more dreadful still, for the
-blinds were drawn down, and the little light there was fell so faintly
-through them that we could scarcely find our way through the room. Aunt
-Milly was before me; she made a terrified plunge forward, and gave a cry
-as we came past the head of the bed, which was towards the dressing-room
-door. Something lay in a heap on the floor by the side of the bed. She
-threw herself down on the floor beside that heap. I don’t think she was
-conscious, even when she touched it, what it was; but as I rushed to
-help her, as I thought, I was suddenly arrested by a gleam of eyes from
-the bed. “I am not dead,” said Miss Mortimer. I could not help nor
-command myself. Some scream or shriek came from me in the extremity of
-my awe and terror. I could hear it answered by a sudden stir and
-commotion outside the door. “They’re killing my mistress,” was Lizzie’s
-voice; and with the wildest alarm lest some violent attack on the door
-should follow, I rushed to it, opened it, and asked for lights.
-
-Outside were half the household grouped at various distances. No
-precautions could stifle that eager curiosity which knew by instinct
-that some wonderful mystery was here. They all dispersed when they saw
-me, frightened and ashamed of themselves. Only Lizzie kept her ground.
-She seized hold of my sleeve and detained me. “You’re no to stay there!”
-cried Lizzie. “Oh, no _you_, no _you_! You’ll gang and let them kill
-you, and the bairn’ll perish, and the Captain never come hame! Let _me_
-in! I’ll get the drinks and keep up the fire, and never close an e’e;
-but it’s no you that’s to watch, and you the light o’ folks e’en. It’s
-no to be you! If I was to gang to my bed and sleep, what would the
-Captain say to me?” cried poor Lizzie, with a trembling burst of
-excitement and anxiety, standing close up by me, holding my sleeve,
-pressing to enter the room. Somehow it comforted me, though it was a
-piece of folly. I told her again to get the lights, and went back into
-the dark, solemn room. These sounds of the outside world had not entered
-there. Miss Mortimer lay on the bed with her eyes wide-awake and
-gleaming, gathering into them all the little light in the room. Aunt
-Milly stood beside her, asking how she was; herself scarcely recovered
-from the shock that had been given her by that heap of clothes upon the
-floor, trembling, not knowing very well what she said, her great
-yearning anxiety and curiosity to get at her sister’s heart, overflowing
-in uneasy questions. Did she feel ill? Would she have anything? How was
-she? Miss Mortimer took no notice of her questions. She repeated once “I
-am not dead,” with a strange spitefulness and defiance, and for the rest
-lay silent, looking at me as I moved about the room, a dark
-undecipherable figure, and at poor Aunt Milly standing beside me. She
-took no other notice. It seemed to please her to lie there silent,
-defying all our curiosity. But she did not complain or find fault with
-our presence. I believe in my heart she was glad to have her dreadful
-solitude thus broken, and that it was a comfort to her desolation to see
-living creatures moving in the darkness. I cannot help thinking so; but
-after that one expression, twice repeated, not all the anxious questions
-of her sister could bring a syllable to her lips.
-
-When the candles came she closed her eyes; then, after a little
-interval, made a wrench at the curtains and gave an impatient sigh. The
-sigh was for Carson, who doubtless knew exactly what she liked and what
-she did not like. The fire was laid already in the grate, and I lighted
-it, and began to put away those things which lay on the floor. Wherever
-I moved, when it was within her sight, she followed me with her eyes
-from within the crimson shadow of the curtain. She was perfectly
-composed and self-possessed. She was even well as it appeared. The
-ghastly colour had disappeared from her face. She lay there
-self-absorbed, as she sat over her knitting. All the dread incidents of
-this day had passed over, and left Sarah Mortimer unchanged. Such a
-woman could deny, defy, live through any thing. I watched her with
-indescribable awe and----. Well! I had pitied her while she was alone;
-but do you suppose I could love such a woman, lying there unmoved and
-unrepentant, in her dread self-occupation? It was not possible I hated
-her, loathed her, turned away with sickening and disgust from her
-dreadful looks. It was hard, even, to pity her now.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XVIII.
-
-
-I had with difficulty overcome Aunt Milly. I had represented to her how
-much better I was able to bear it than she, and Aunt Milly herself had
-sent off Sara Cresswell to bed. It was late at night, and all the house
-was still. We were both together in the dressing-room. Nothing would
-persuade dear Aunt Milly to leave me alone to this vigil. She wrapped
-herself in a shawl and lay down upon the sofa. “I am at hand the moment
-I am wanted,” she said. I had kissed baby, and said my prayers beside
-him. I was not frightened or nervous now. I went in, wrapped in my
-dressing-gown, to look at my patient. She stretched out her hand, and
-then when she saw me, drew it back again with a fretful groan, and
-turned her face to the wall. It was Carson, still Carson, whom she
-missed at every turn. But she did not answer me when I asked if she
-wanted anything, she only groaned again with a dismal impotence and
-impatience. I sat and watched her at a distance while she lay in that
-broad wakefulness, her eyes wandering to and fro, her mind evidently
-wandering, too, into never-ending thought. It was to me a spirit,
-somehow, chained and fettered to a body it could not throw off, which
-lay in irksome confinement on that bed,--a spirit ever active,
-sleepless, evil. Why was I sitting up with her? she was not even ill.
-Was it that she had died that day, and some wicked spirit had taken
-possession of the exhausted frame? I declare that this idea returned to
-me in spite of myself. I could not escape from it; as the night crept on
-strange fears came over me. Her eyes fascinated mine. I could not
-withdraw my gaze from those two gleams of strange light within the
-crimson curtains, moving about from minute to minute with their restless
-observation. What was she thinking of? Could she tell that, under this
-roof, the roof of his fathers, her injured son was sleeping? Was she
-thinking of her youth, her life, the past, with all its dread,
-pertinacious, stubborn cruelty? I did not know then how the
-extraordinary story told by Luigi could be harmonised into possibility.
-I could not think of any story; I could think of nothing but that
-solitary woman pursuing those sleepless thoughts, which nobody shared,
-through all the dread recesses of her conscience, through all the
-scenes, visible to her only, of her hidden mysterious life.
-
-It must have been about midnight when some one knocked softly at the
-door. It made me start painfully with a terror I could not subdue. I
-rose to see who it was, trembling at the summons. It was Carson, who
-called me anxiously into the drawing room. She did not say anything, but
-drew me to a little medicine-chest, which she opened, and from which,
-all silently, with the speed of long custom, she took a little bottle,
-and dropped some of its contents into a glass of water. “You must put
-this by her bedside,” whispered Carson, “and here are all her medicines;
-but don’t drop them yourself, for the love of pity!--you’ve no
-experience. You might give her her death. When my missis wants her
-draughts, will you call me?” While I promised to do so, Aunt Milly woke
-up from a short sleep. “Has anything happened, Milly?” she cried,
-starting up suddenly. Nothing had happened but that her start had thrown
-down a footstool, and made a noise which sounded dreadful in the calm of
-the night. The three of us dispersed hastily upon that sound. Carson
-disappeared out of the room. Aunt Milly sat up trembling on the sofa. I
-went back to the patient. The noise had roused her. She had struggled up
-in bed, and was trying to look round to the dressing-room door.
-
-“Who is it?” she cried, when I went in, her eyes fixing on me with
-something of the dreadful expression they had in the drawing-room, as if
-she had lost control over them, and the orbs turned wildly out and
-fluttered to the light. “If it’s _him_, let him come here.”
-
-“It was only Carson,” I said.
-
-“Carson? let her not come near me. I will do her an injury,” cried Miss
-Mortimer with wild exasperation. Then she suffered herself to fall back
-on her pillows. “They’re all in a plot,” she went on, “all in a plot,
-the very woman I trusted; I shall never trust anybody any more. But
-here’s the wonderful thing; she is just as great a coward as she is a
-fool; and to think she should hate me so much as to be able to go up and
-down these passages in the middle of the night with a dead man! Hark,
-there they are!”
-
-I fell back from the bedside at the words, unable to refrain from a
-shudder of horror.
-
-“You’re afraid,” said Miss Mortimer, looking at me with a kind of
-contemptuous curiosity. “Yet you saw him come in yesterday and you did
-not faint. I remember seeing you stare and stare. Ah! it’s strange to
-see a dead man!”
-
-“I saw nobody but Luigi; nobody but your son,” cried I, in dismay.
-
-When it was said I drew back in alarm, lest the words should rouse her
-into passion. But they did not. She was beyond that.
-
-“I could not see him, though,” she continued, going on in her dreadful
-monologue; “it was only a kind of feeling he was there, and the scent of
-the syringas in the garden. You know it’s very overpowering; those they
-call the Virgin’s Breast. It was that made me faint.”
-
-Here she fixed her eyes on me again, as if she imagined that she had
-been setting up a plausible plea and dared me to contradict it.
-
-“I wonder if he’s as handsome now he’s dead,” she went on in a very low
-tone; “he was never as handsome for a man as I was for a woman. I’ll
-never, never speak to Carson again; but you might ask her if he’s kept
-his looks. Ah! I thought I saw some one behind the curtains there; but
-he’ll never appear to me. For he swore, you know, he swore, he was never
-to give me any trouble, and he kept his word till he died.”
-
-“Oh, Miss Mortimer,”--I cried, coming forward to the bed with the glass
-in my hand. She held out hers eagerly, and interrupted me.
-
-“Miss Mortimer! to be sure I am Miss Mortimer; I have always been Miss
-Mortimer, you know that; then what’s all this made up story about a son?
-For, you know,” she said, sinking her voice again into a whisper, and
-holding the glass in her hand, “to be called countess would have been a
-temptation to many a woman. But I never would have it, not for a day,
-never after he refused to take our name. That’s what a man calls love,
-you know. You shall take his name if it’s a beggar’s, and he will not
-take yours if it brings a kingdom. But I was not the sort of woman to be
-a beggarly Italian countess. And I’ve beaten him in his grave,” she
-cried out in ghastly triumph,--“in his grave I’ve got the victory over
-him! Here’s the child on his knees to me to call him Lewis Mortimer. Ah!
-you’re Richard Mortimer’s daughter. I might have married Richard if I
-had known how things were going to turn out. We’ll set it all right
-to-morrow. Yes; stand by me, and we’ll set it all right. There’s no dead
-man shall conquer me. Do you hear? There he is pacing about the passage
-as he used to do when I refused to see him. But he dared not come in;
-no, not if I had been a thousand times his wife.”
-
-And I cannot help it if people may think me a fool; there were steps
-outside in the passage. If it was a living creature I cannot tell; but,
-as certain as I live, there were footsteps going up and down, up and
-down, with a heavy, melancholy tread. She looked at me full in the face
-as we heard them going on. She began to tremble so that the bed shook
-under her; her eyes grew wilder, her colour more ghastly. In spite of
-all she said, she was stricken to her very heart with fear.
-
-And as for me, I did not feel I had courage to open the door. I called
-out, “Whoever you are, go away, I beseech,--go away! She cannot rest
-while you are here.” The steps stopped in a moment, then, after a pause,
-went on and went away, growing fainter in the distance. Thank heaven it
-must have been somebody living! perhaps Carson, perhaps her son.
-
-When I came back to the bedside she had dropped asleep--actually, in the
-midst of her terror, had fallen into an unnatural slumber. It was an
-opiate that Carson had given her. The little medicine-chest was full of
-different kinds of opiates. Scarcely one of them that was not marked
-poison. I looked into the dressing-room for a minute to comfort poor
-Aunt Milly, who had heard all her sister said, and was in a dreadful
-state of agitation. She kissed me and blessed me, and leaned her dear
-kind head upon my shoulder for the moment I dared stay beside her. “She
-would never have said so much to me,” said Aunt Milly, and wrapped her
-own shawl round me, and tried to make me take some wine which she had
-brought upstairs. When I would not take that, lest it should make me
-sleepy, Aunt Milly got up from the sofa to make some tea for me.
-Everybody knows such nights--everybody knows how some one always tries
-to comfort the watcher with such attentions--tender, useless,
-heartbreaking attempts at outside consolation. I went back to the sick
-room with a pang both of relief and anguish. If it had been my husband
-or my baby that I was watching! Thank God it was not so! but the picture
-came before me with a terrible force just then, when I did not know
-where Harry was, nor how he might be lying, nor who might be watching
-over him. I tried to shut out my own thoughts from this room; but who
-could ever do that? I fancied I could see white soldiers’ huts rising in
-the darkness, and groans of wounded men. It was a relief to me when my
-patient groaned and turned in her bed. But she did not wake; She lay all
-night long in what seemed more like a stupor than a sleep, interrupted
-by groans and stifled outcries, and long sighs that broke one’s heart.
-No wonder we had heard of her bad nights.
-
-In the morning, when she woke at last, Miss Mortimer turned round upon
-me with a half-stupified, wondering stare. Then she recollected herself.
-She did not speak, but I saw all the thoughts of the previous night come
-slowly back to her face. She watched me arranging the room in the
-cheerful morning light; she even permitted me to raise her among her
-pillows, and swallowed, though with an effort, the tea I brought her.
-She bore no malice against me for anything I had said. She seemed even
-pleased to have me beside her; but it was not for my sake; I believe she
-thought I was doing it for an interested reason. And she--she thought
-she had found an accomplice in me.
-
-This morning she spoke with difficulty, and her looks were changed. She
-looked ill, very ill. The morning light showed a strange widening and
-breadth about her eyes, a solemn fixed expression in her face, which,
-though I had never watched it coming before, went to my heart with an
-instinctive chill and recognition. She could not bear me to be out of
-her sight for a moment. When I went to the dressing-room door to speak a
-word to Aunt Milly she called me back with an impatient, stifled cry. At
-last she beckoned me close to her bedside.
-
-“I want--I want--send--let him come,” she stammered out.
-
-“Luigi?” I said.
-
-She clasped her hands together in an access of passion. “To make my
-will,” she cried, with a kind of scream; “now--now--this moment.” When
-she had uttered the words she fell back panting, a flush of weakness and
-fever coming to her face. I went and told Aunt Milly, who, all troubled
-as she was, sent off a messenger immediately for Mr. Cresswell. “I will
-send for the doctor, too, and--and the clergyman; but what can Dr.
-Roberts do for _her_?” cried poor Aunt Milly, wringing her hands. The
-clergyman! What, indeed, could that sleek, comfortable man do at this
-deathbed of guilt and passion? Ah me! A poor priest might have done
-something, perhaps, or a poor preacher accustomed to matters of life and
-death.
-
-The day glided on while we waited. She would not let me leave her; but
-she did not say anything, except disjointed murmurs, and strange broken
-conversations with herself. It was not the present time that her mind
-was busy with. Listening in the silence of that room I became aware of a
-passionate prime of life, an Italian summer, a bitter mortification,
-disappointment, revenge--revenge which had come back upon the
-remorseless inflictor, and made her life the desert it had been. It all
-opened up before me in breaks and glimpses; afterwards, when I knew the
-story, it was with the force of an actual representation that I
-remembered this broken, unconscious autobiography. She was not raving;
-she was only calling up and setting in order the incidents of that
-crisis of her life, I cannot follow her through it now; but I remember
-that the awe, and interest, and excitement kept me from feeling any
-weariness.
-
-I could not turn away for any sort of refreshment; I sat fascinated
-before that revelation of the secret of her days. She seemed to have
-foresworn husband and child, life itself and all that made it bearable,
-in dreadful vengeance for some broken promise or unfulfilled vow. Her
-father came flitting across the troubled picture; the count, and some
-dreadful controversy about a name, all intermixed with recollections of
-certain rooms and their furniture; of a garden and a thicket of
-syringas. What that point of deception or disappointment was, on which
-the whole story turned, I could not tell; but for this she had left the
-stream of life when life was at its fullest promise; for this she had
-settled down in a frightful, stubborn determination, behind that screen
-in the drawing-room of the Park. All her after existence, huddled up
-into one long monotonous day, had not made these scenes less fresh in
-her memory. This was now she had revenged herself--on the Count, who was
-dead--on her son, whom she disowned and cast away from her; ah! above
-all, a thousand times more bitterly, on herself.
-
-It was afternoon when Mr. Cresswell came. He was brought up to the room
-immediately, without a word of explanation, and accordingly knew nothing
-of all the dreadful history of the last twenty-four hours. He had not
-even a hint that anything was changed, except the health of Miss
-Mortimer. He came and expressed his concern in the common-place tone of
-an unexcited stranger; he expressed his surprise to see me with her. In
-his heart he set it down that this will was of my suggesting. I am
-certain he did; and smiled to find me the nurse of the sick woman. But
-Miss Mortimer (that I should still go on calling her by that name after
-all I had heard!) left him very little time. She recovered herself
-wonderfully at sight of him; her very utterance became easier in the
-anxiety she showed to express herself plainly. She was impatient of his
-inquiries and condolences. She moved her hands uneasily about the bed,
-and for a moment her eyes fluttered as they had done the day before; but
-as soon as he had prepared his papers, and taken his pen in hand, she
-was composed again. My heart beat so loud with anxiety to hear what she
-said, that I could scarcely breathe. Was she now at last to set right
-the injustice of a life?
-
-“Write,” she cried, with a gasp for breath, “that I leave
-everything--mind, it is everything, Bob Cresswell, no partitions. My
-sister Milly, though she is a fool, is as fond of her, ah! as--as I
-am--all the Park and the lands belonging to it, to Millicent Mortimer.
-There! the young soldier’s wife; and to--eh! who is it? Who speaks to
-me?”
-
-I grasped her hand hard in my sudden passion. It was cold, cold, a dead
-hand, and horrified me with its touch. “Stop,” I cried, “oh, stop, Mr.
-Cresswell; she cannot mean such horrible injustice! Miss Mortimer!
-Countess! whatever you are! will you dare to die and never repent? Do
-you think I will let you bring a curse on my innocent baby? Stop! Stop!
-I forbid it, for her soul’s sake!”
-
-Mr. Cresswell pushed back his chair and stared in amazement too great
-for words. She looked at me with a strange air of cunning and superior
-wisdom, and then at him.
-
-“She thinks,” said the dying woman, in a kind of whisper, addressing Mr.
-Cresswell, “to draw me into some foolish talk, and bring it up against
-the will. Fool! they are all fools; go on.”
-
-“What does it mean?” he said looking at me.
-
-“It means that she ought to do justice,” I cried; “that it is all she
-can do now; that she is going to die without repenting, without making
-amends. If you write it, it will be a sin.”
-
-“Bob Cresswell, go on; it is I who am the person to be attended to,”
-said Miss Mortimer. “This creature, do you hear, is a fool. I know what
-I mean.”
-
-“There is something here I don’t understand; my dear lady, you’re not so
-very ill, suppose we put it off,” said the lawyer in great perplexity;
-“and there’s Miss Milly, you know, she has her share in the Park.”
-
-“Attend to _me_!” cried Miss Mortimer, wildly. “You will kill me; am I
-to be thwarted _now_, as well as all my life? Oh, good heavens! in my
-own house, and in bed, and perhaps going to die--and I am not to have my
-will, my will! I shall have my will, if I should write it myself!”
-
-She stretched out her eager hand towards the writing things, stretching
-out of bed, and by some chance touched Mr. Cresswell. When he felt that
-deathly touch he grew very grave, and started with a shudder. He took up
-his pen immediately.
-
-“I will do what you please,” he said. He could not resist that cry of
-death.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XIX.
-
-
-I ran downstairs in desperation. I could not be content to let that
-dreadful mockery go on. It was vain, for we never, never, would have
-taken another man’s rights; but for herself, the miserable, guilty
-woman, to hinder her by any means, to save her from putting that seal
-upon all her cruelty and falsehood. I saw nobody as I flew down the
-stairs, though afterwards I was conscious that Lizzie had been standing
-there with my beautiful innocent boy. Do you think I would consent for a
-kingdom to bring the curse of wrongful wealth upon little Harry? Not if
-starvation and misery had been the only other choice!
-
-I burst into the library, where I knew Aunt Milly was. Pale with
-watching and anxiety, she was sitting propped up in an easy-chair, with
-Sara Cresswell and Luigi beside her. I believe they had been telling her
-their story, and she, straining her ear for every sound, had been trying
-to listen to them. When I came in she started up from her chair and came
-to meet me, unconsciously putting them away. “What is it, Milly?” she
-cried, putting out her arms to me. I dared not permit myself to rest or
-even lean upon her. I seized her hand and drew her to the door.
-
-“Come up, and interfere,” I cried; “she is making her dreadful will. She
-is leaving everything to me. Come, before she has put the seal to all
-this misery. Aunt Milly, can you stand aside and let this be done?”
-
-“My dear,” said Aunt Milly, with a burst of tears, kissing me and
-looking in my face, “you know I love you, Milly; you know you are almost
-dearer to me now than any creature on earth.”
-
-I could not thank her; I had no time. I did not feel grateful or
-pleased, but only impatient. “Come; come!” I repeated almost with
-violence. I could not understand how she could delay.
-
-“Let her do what she will,” cried Aunt Milly. “If I go and argue with
-her, it will only make her worse. Oh, child! we can’t cross her now;
-don’t you see we can’t cross her now? But I took a vow, as sure as God
-saw us, I would do justice,” said Aunt Milly, solemnly through her
-tears. “She can but do what she can. We are co-heiresses! she has no
-power but over her own share.”
-
-“Share!” I cried, “is it shares we have to think of? She is dying, and
-she does not repent.”
-
-I could not wait there any longer; they all followed upstairs, Aunt
-Milly holding my hand. They all came into the dressing-room, where we
-could faintly hear Miss Mortimer’s voice, and where Carson stood
-trembling at the door. At this moment there was no order or rule in the
-stricken house. Then Aunt Milly went with me into the sick room. Mr.
-Cresswell was writing, and Miss Mortimer had stopped speaking. She
-turned her eyes triumphantly upon us both.
-
-“I have carried out your wishes, Milly. I have left everything to your
-favourite,” she said, with pauses to got her breath. “You may sign it
-after me, and then it will be complete.”
-
-“Sarah, that boy, that boy!” cried Aunt Milly. “Oh, put out your hand to
-him just once--think, before it is finished, what claims he has. Give
-him something. Sarah! Sarah! you would not take me into your confidence;
-but I’ll go down on my knees to you if you’ll do justice to that boy!”
-
-“I am going to die,” said Miss Mortimer, after a pause. “I can see it in
-all your faces. I can’t be much worse off than I’ve been here. But look
-you, Milly, if you come and drive me into passion; if that wretched boy
-so much as comes near me, I’ll die directly, and you’ll be my murderers.
-His father made the choice--and I will not change, no, not if he came
-again, as he did yesterday, with the dead man. Cresswell, I’m growing a
-little faint. Is it ready to sign?”
-
-He brought it and laid it before her on the bed; and she called to me to
-raise her up. I was desperate. I would rather have been content to be
-her murderer, as she said, than to let her do that sin.
-
-“You are not Sarah Mortimer,” said I, as with great difficulty she wrote
-her signature. “It is a false name, and you know it is. Write your own
-name, Countess Sermoneta, and let everybody know that you have
-disinherited your son.”
-
-She stared round at me, setting her teeth, then returned to the paper,
-and with a desperate resolution completed it. I stood perfectly aghast
-as I saw that dead hand trace those words, which to me cut her off for
-ever from every hope:--“By marriage, Sermoneta.” God help us! was there
-now no place of repentance?
-
-“And now,” she said, falling back on her pillows, “send me Carson--I
-want no more--no more from anybody; send me my maid. I’ll forgive _her_
-though she deserted me;--nobody,” sobbed the poor voice, all at once
-breaking and growing feeble,--“nobody knows me but Carson. I want my
-maid; Carson, here!”
-
-She had scarcely spoken, when Carson was by her side kneeling down at
-the bed, kissing the cold hand held out to her with such tears and eager
-affection as I never saw a servant show to a mistress. It was a
-reconciliation of love. The tears came into Miss Mortimer’s eyes. She
-gave her hand to her maid’s caresses with actual affection. It was the
-strangest conclusion to that dismal scene. One after another we three
-went out of the room confounded. Aunt Milly weeping tears, the
-bitterness of which I could not enter into. Mr. Cresswell, with a face
-of utter wonder, and myself, too much shocked and shaken to be able for
-anything. I could not go downstairs with them. I took refuge in the room
-that had been fitted up as a nursery for my baby. I got my boy into my
-arms and cried over him. It was too much; when he put his innocent arms
-round my neck and laid his cheek to mine to console me, my happiness
-struck me as with a pang. Oh, the unutterable things she had lost, that
-poor, miserable woman! I got up again to rush back to her with my baby,
-and see if that would not touch her heart, but stumbled in weariness and
-weakness, and fell on my knees on the floor. That was all that was to be
-done. I acknowledged it with that dreadful sense of impotence that one
-has, when hearts and souls have to be dealt with. On my knees I might
-help that desolate, lonely creature,--nowhere else, in no other manner.
-And even this not now. I was worn out with excitement and distress. I
-was ashamed to think, or permit myself to say, that one night’s watching
-had done it. I had to put little Harry back into Lizzie’s hands and lie
-down in the waning daylight. My head throbbed, and my heart beat, so
-that I could not even recollect my thoughts. And all that had happened
-seemed to have no impression but one upon me. I never thought of that
-group downstairs going over the wonderful story which nobody had so much
-as guessed at. I thought only of that hopeless woman, in her shut-up
-room, slowly floating out of existence, dying hour by hour, and minute
-by minute, unchanged and unsubdued. What was death that it should
-change her, whom love and pity, and the long-suffering of God had not
-changed? But I thought to myself I could never more blame those who
-preach out of season as well as in season, and cannot be silent. There
-were moments in which I could not endure myself--in which I felt as if I
-must go and make another appeal to her--even at the risk of thrusting
-myself into the room, and disturbing the quiet of her last hours.
-
-
-
-
-CHAPTER XX.
-
-BY MISS MILLY MORTIMER.
-
-
-It is I who must finish what there is to tell. My dear Milly was not in
-a condition, either of mind or body, to go on with the story that had
-moved her so much; and since then, poor dear child, you may suppose how
-little heart she had to enter upon other things. We heard of the battle
-that had just been fought not long after, and knew that Harry was sure
-to have been in it, having got letters from him of his safe arrival just
-the day after my sister’s death. And then we had to wait for the lists.
-I can tell nobody how we lived through these days. She used to go down
-and teach in the village school, and to all the distressed people near.
-The things she did for them might have shocked me at another time.
-Anything, it did not matter what, a servant’s work, whatever there might
-happen to be to do--and came home at night tired to death, but with no
-sleep in her poor eyes. She used to say, though she could not sleep,
-that it was a kind of comfort to be very tired, it dulled her a little
-in her heart. When the news came he was slightly wounded, and had
-distinguished himself, she fell down in a faint at my feet. It was the
-first moment she dared be insensible. After that little term of relief,
-our anxieties were constant. But at last, you know, it is all over, and
-he is coming home.
-
-But to go back to that day. When we left my sister’s deathbed, and I,
-without even Milly to support me, went down alone with them all to hear
-everything told over again, and all Mr. Cresswell’s remarks and
-astonishment, you may well imagine it was very hard to me. I would have
-given anything to have been able to keep all that from Mr. Cresswell,
-but after what he had heard, and Sarah’s extraordinary signature, of
-course it was indispensable that he should understand the whole
-business; as well as for my nephew’s sake. I am bound to say Luigi
-behaved to his poor mother in a very different way from that in which
-she had treated him. If she had been the best mother in the world he
-could not have told the tale more gently. He went over it all,--how
-there had been a secret marriage done in Leghorn, where it was not
-unlawful for a Catholic to marry a Protestant, and where his father came
-under some engagement to take our own name. How it was kept secret for
-some reason of her own. How my father found it out. How the Count was
-summoned and called upon to bind himself, now that the affair could not
-be mended, to come home with them, and take the name of Mortimer. How,
-being dreadfully irritated by his wife (I don’t doubt she could have
-driven a man mad, especially in the days of her beauty), he refused; and
-how she had renounced, and given him up, and had nothing more to say to
-him. You may say, why did not he claim his rights? I can’t tell. He
-might have ruined her reputation, to be sure, or made the whole story
-public; but I suppose she must have been more than a match for him. She
-retired away into some village, and had her baby, and left it there.
-Then she came home. The Count never disturbed her all his life; and when
-he died he told his son the story, and bade him never to rest till he
-had recovered his mother. The young man, all amazed, full of grief for
-his father and anxiety to find _her_, came to England, asking for the
-Countess Sermoneta. It was only after many failures, and seeking better
-information from his father’s papers, that he came to believe that she
-called herself still Miss Mortimer; and we know all the rest. Luigi did
-not blame her, not a single word; he sat with his head leaning on his
-hands, overcome with distress and trouble. He called her his mother, his
-mother, every time he spoke, and said the name in such a tone as would
-have gone to anybody’s heart. Little Sara sat gazing at him all the
-time, with her whole heart in her eyes. When he covered his face with
-his hands in that pitiful way, Sara was unable to contain herself; she
-moved restlessly in her seat, fell a-crying in extreme agitation, and
-then, just for a moment, laid her hand upon his and pressed it with a
-quick momentary touch of sympathy. Her father’s eyes gleamed out for a
-moment surprise, anger, I cannot tell what mixture of feelings; but,
-dear! dear! what had their courtships and lovemakings to do in this
-stricken house? I could not bear any such question just at that moment.
-I told Cresswell that it was needful he should make my will, too, as
-well as my sister’s, and that I left my share to my nephew, without any
-conditions. Cresswell made objections, as was natural for a lawyer. His
-objections were too much for me; I got angry and impatient, more than I
-ought to have done. Here was he pottering about proofs and such things,
-when I knew, and had seen, and read it all in my sister’s face. This
-story was the key to Sarah’s life; I understood it all now what it
-meant, from her never-uttered quarrel with my father, down to the time
-when she met Luigi on the road. And the man spoke to me about proofs! I
-made him draw out a kind of form of a will, like that which Sarah had
-signed, but which Mr. Cresswell worded so cautiously, that it would be
-null if Luigi was not proved my nephew--bequeathing all my share of the
-Park estate to him. I confess it cost me a pang to do this; I confess
-freely that, to part the lands, and to leave it away from Milly, and to
-think it was Sarah and not me who had provided for that dear child, went
-to my heart; but I would rather have died than refused justice to my
-sister’s son.
-
-Luigi came round to my side and took my two hands and kissed them. I was
-so wicked as to dislike it just at that moment, and to think it was one
-of his Italian ways. But he stood before me with tears in his eyes, and
-that look of the Mortimers, which nobody could mistake. “And your love?”
-he said. I could not stand out against that; I broke down entirely, and
-cried and sobbed like a child. Dreadful days these had been! Now I was
-overpowered, and could do no more. When I rose to go upstairs Luigi drew
-my arm into his, and took care of me like a son. He begged me to go to
-Milly, and not to be by myself; and I cannot tell how, but his voice had
-so great an effect upon me, that I did just as he said. Oh, dear! dear!
-to think what Sarah had cast away from her. There was she, lying alone,
-rejecting every creature in the world but Carson,--and here was the love
-that belonged to her, coming to _me_.
-
-I did not see Mr. Cresswell again before he went away. Sara came up a
-little after, in despair, saying he had ordered her to return with him,
-and came and hugged me silently, and cried, with a frightened look upon
-her pale little face. “I would say farewell to godmamma Sarah, if I
-dared,” cried the poor child; but I dared not let her do it. She went
-away, casting longing looks back at us like a creature condemned. It was
-natural that she should feel leaving us in so much trouble, and going
-back to her own quiet, motionless home. It was not Sara’s fault she had
-not been watching with us every moment of that terrible night; but, for
-all that, it was very right of Mr. Cresswell to take her away.
-
-And then some days of watching followed. Once Sarah admitted me into her
-room, and she saw the doctor without making any objection--she would
-have lived still, had that been possible--but when I begged her to see
-Luigi, just to say one word to him, to let him believe she recognised
-him as her son, her looks grew so terrible that I dared not say more. He
-went himself, out of my knowledge, to her door, and begged and prayed to
-be let in; but Carson came out to him, pallid with terror, and begged
-him to go away, or he would kill Miss Mortimer--for they kept up that
-farce of a name to the end. Luigi came to me heart-broken; it was,
-indeed, a terrible position for the young man. He reproached himself for
-seeking his natural rights, and bringing on all this misery. He said, “I
-have killed my mother!” It was all I could do to comfort him. God
-forgive her! it was not he who was to blame.
-
-This was how my sister Sarah died. I try never to think of it. I try not
-to remember that dreadful time. Thank heaven! to judge others is not our
-part in this life. There is very little comfort to be had out of it,
-anyhow; living and dying it was a sad existence for a woman. If she had
-not much love in her lifetime, I think there are few graves over which
-have been shed more bitter tears. On her tombstone she is called
-Countess Sermoneta; the first time she has ever borne that ill-fated
-name.
-
-It was not difficult to prove the whole history. By degrees Mr.
-Cresswell gathered enough from other sources to convince him of Luigi’s
-story; and after that it did not take much persuasion to make him
-consent to give my nephew his daughter. It was not the match he might
-have made, of course. The Sermonetas are a very old family in their own
-country; not much wonder the Count would not consent to give up his own
-name, and take the name of the haughty Englishman that despised him.
-Luigi would have changed his, had his mother bidden him, and for his
-father’s sake; but the young man was deeply grateful to me for not
-making any conditions. For my part, I did not want him to be the
-representative of the Mortimers. I may safely say I came to love him
-like a child of my own at last. But after all he was a foreigner still,
-and even when I came to be fond of him, I never could see him without
-pain mixing with the pleasure. It was Harry, little Harry, my sweet
-English baby, Milly’s beautiful boy, that was to be the Mortimers’ heir.
-
-And Sara will not be married till Harry Langham comes home. Perhaps it
-is not justice to Sara to say my nephew might have done better; but,
-after all, you know, her father is only an attorney, our family
-attorney. Her hair is grown now, and she is a little older, and very
-pretty; very pretty indeed the little creature is. She is not in the
-least like what my sister Sarah used to be; she can never be such a
-beauty as her poor godmamma was. If it were nothing else, she is too
-little for _beauty_; but I must say she is extremely pretty. I don’t
-know if there is such another in all Cheshire. My Milly is different. Of
-the two _I_ should rather have her; but then I am not a young man.
-
-And the war is over, and the dear child is nervously happy, and counting
-the days. About another week or so and Harry Langham will be at home.
-
-
-
-
-POSTSCRIPT.
-
-BY MRS. LANGHAM.
-
-
-Harry is home, safe and well. He is to get the Medjidie and the French
-ribbon of honour; but you can see that in the papers. It is something
-else I have to tell.
-
-It is just a week before Sara’s marriage day, and Lizzie comes to me
-looking very foolish. I had thought she had recovered of her
-awkwardness. There she stands, twisting her feet again, rolling up her
-arms in her white apron, holding her head to one side in a paroxysm of
-her old use and wont. Really, if she were not standing in such a
-preposterous attitude, Lizzie would look rather pretty; she has such a
-nice complexion, and her red-brown hair pleases me--it is not too red.
-It suits those features which are not at all regular, but only very
-pleasant and bright, with health, and youth, and a good heart. But now
-there is something dreadful choking Lizzie, which must be got out.
-
-“Mem, the Captain’s come hame,” came at last in a burst.
-
-He was brevet Major now, and most people about the Park called him
-Colonel; and he was in the next room, no further off, so I rather stared
-at Lizzie’s piece of news.
-
-“And wee Mr. Harry, he’s a grand little gentleman,” said Lizzie; “and
-a’s weel, and there’s no cloud in a’ the sky as big as the dear bairn’s
-little finger, let abee a man’s hand.”
-
-This solemn enumeration of my joys alarmed me considerably. “Do you know
-of anything that has happened, Lizzie?” I cried with a momentary return
-of my old fears.
-
-“Naething’s gaun to happen,” said Lizzie, “I’m meaning no to you;
-naething but the blessing of God that kens a’. It was just to say----”
-
-Here Lizzie came to a dead stop, and cried, the unfailing resource in
-all difficulties. A perception of the truth flashed upon me as I looked
-at her.
-
-“Do you mean to say----?” cried I, but got no further in my extreme
-amaze.
-
-“Eh, it’s no me!” cried Lizzie. “But eh, Menico says----”
-
-Here she stopped again, gave me a frightened look, made an attempt to go
-on--and finally, startled by a sound in the next room, where Harry was,
-dropped the apron she had unconsciously pulled off, on the floor, and
-fairly ran away.
-
-Leaving me thunderstruck, and by no means pleased. I knew if I went and
-told Harry he would burst into fits of laughter, and there would be an
-end to all serious consideration of the subject. To lose Lizzie all at
-once like this, to let the creature go and marry a foreigner! There was
-something quite unbearable in the thought; what was I to do? A
-foreigner, and a Catholic, too, and a man twice as old as herself; the
-girl was mad! The more I thought of it the more distressed I grew. At
-last I went to seek Aunt Milly, who was the only practicable counsellor.
-She was in the garden, and I went to seek her there. It was July, and
-sultry weather. In the hall, now better occupied than it used to be,
-stood Domenico, in the white suit, vast and spotless, with which he
-always distinguished himself in summer weather, and which always put me
-in mind of that dreadful day when the Count Sermoneta first came, in his
-own name, to the Park. Domenico started forward, noiseless and smiling,
-to open the door. The action brought before me in a minute our little
-Chester lodgings, our troubled happy days, our parting, and all the
-simple kindness this honest fellow had done us. His face beamed through
-all my recollections of that time, always thus starting forward with the
-courtesy of the heart. My heart warmed to him in spite of all I had been
-cogitating against him. Perhaps he divined what it was occupied my
-thoughts--he followed me out at the door.
-
-“It pleases to the Signora give me the Leezee?” said Domenico, with an
-insinuating look. “No? no? But what to have done? The Signora displeases
-herself of me? Wherefore? Because? I not know.”
-
-“I am not displeased,” said I. “You are a very good fellow, Domenico,
-and have always been very kind. But she is a child; she is not
-seventeen. What would you do with her in a strange country? She is too
-young for you.”
-
-“The Leezee contents herself,” said Domenico, with a broad smile opening
-out his black beard. “If it pleases to the Signora, I bring her back
-other times; I take the care of her; I make everything please to her.
-The Signora not wills to say no?”
-
-And of course I did not say no; I had no right to say anything of the
-sort. And Lizzie actually was not afraid to marry that mountain of a
-man. She went away with him, looking dreadfully ashamed, and taking the
-most heartrending farewell of little Harry and me, Domenico looking on
-with great but smiling sympathy all the while, and not at all resenting
-her tears. But the Captain had come home, and little Harry had attained
-the independence of two and a half years. Lizzie felt she had discharged
-her trust, and was no longer imperatively needed to take care of me. I
-kissed her when she went away, as if she had been a sister of my own,
-and I confess was not ashamed to add a tear to the floods that poured
-from her brown eyes; but I am obliged to avow that it is not within the
-range of my powers to put correctly on paper all the long rolling
-syllables of her new name.
-
-
-THE END.
-
- * * * * *
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-332 Charlie Thornhill.
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-370 Opening a Chestnut Burr.
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-387 An Old Maid’s Secret.
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-389 The Second Wife.
-390 The Little Moorland Princess.
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-398 In the Days of My Youth.
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-428 Secret Dispatch.
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-441 Autocrat of the Breakfast Table.
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-446 He Would be a Gentleman.
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-448 Handy Andy.
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-462 Sacristan’s Household.
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-_By ALBERT SMITH._
-
-465 Christopher Tadpole. Illus.
-
-_By BRET HARTE._
-
-468 Complete Tales.
-469 The Heathen Chinee.
-470 Wan Lee, the Pagan, &c.
-471 Deadwood Mystery, and MARK TWAIN’S Nightmare. Illus.
-
-_By Capt. MAYNE REID._
-
-474 The Mountain Marriage.
-
-_By Mrs. LYNN LINTON._
-
-478 Lizzie Lorton.
-479 The Mad Willoughbys.
-
-_By IVAN TURGENIEFF._
-
-483 Virgin Soil.
-484 Smoke.
-485 Fathers and Sons.
-486 Dimitri Roudine.
-487 Liza; or, A Noble Nest.
-
-_By NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE._
-
-491 Blithedale Romance.
-
-_By Mrs. CASHEL HOEY._
-
-492 No Sign.
-493 Blossoming of an Aloe.
-
-_By Mrs. G. M. CRAIK._
-
-494 Riverston.
-495 Lost and Won.
-496 Winifred’s Wooing.
-
-_By T. A. TROLLOPE._
-
-500 Marietta.
-501 Beppo, the Conscript.
-502 Lindisfarne Chase.
-503 Giulio Malatesta.
-504 La Beata.
-
-_By MARK TWAIN._
-
-509 The Innocents Abroad.
-510 American Drolleries.
-511 Funny Stories; with HOLMES’ Humorous Poems.
-512 The Mississippi Pilot; with BRET HARTE’S “Two Men of Sandy Bar.”
-
-_By W. H. MAXWELL._
-
-516 Hector O’Halloran. Illust.
-
-_By HENRY JAMES, Jun._
-
-519 The American.
-
-_By the Author of “WOMAN’S DEVOTION.”_
-
-524 Mr. and Mrs. Asheton.
-525 Three Wives.
-526 Ladies of Lovel Leigh.
-527 Queen of the County.
-528 Book of Heroines.
-529 Lords and Ladies.
-530 Woman’s Devotion.
-
-_By THEODORE HOOK._
-
-536 Jack Brag.
-
-_By M. W. SAVAGE._
-
-541 My Uncle, the Curate.
-542 Bachelor of the Albany.
-543 Falcon Family.
-544 Reuben Medlicott.
-545 Clover Cottage.
-
-_By M. BETHAM EDWARDS._
-
-551 White House by the Sea.
-552 John and I.
-553 Lisabee’s Love Story.
-554 Wild Flower of Ravensworth.
-
-_By J. FENIMORE COOPER._
-
-555 Last of the Mohicans.
-556 The Deerslayer.
-557 The Spy.
-558 The Prairie.
-559 Mark’s Reef.
-560 The Sea Lions.
-
-_BY J. G. HOLLAND._
-
-565 Arthur Bonnicastle.
-
-_By Miss JEWSBURY._
-
-568 The Half-Sisters.
-569 Sorrows of Gentility.
-570 Marian Withers.
-571 Constance Herbert.
-
-_By Mrs. GREY._
-
-575 Mary Seaham.
-576 The Gambler’s Wife.
-577 The Daughter.
-578 The Opera Singer’s Wife.
-579 Old Dower House.
-580 The Young Husband.
-
-_By JOHN MILLS._
-
-582 Belle of the Village.
-583 The Briefless Barrister.
-584 Stable Secrets, and The Life of a Racehorse. Illustrated.
-585 Flyers of the Hunt.
-
-_By the Author of
-“MY FIRST SEASON.”_
-
-588 Charles Auchester.
-589 Counterparts.
-590 My First Season.
-
-_By “SCRUTATOR.”_
-
-595 Master of the Hounds.
-596 Country Gentleman.
-597 Squire of Beechwood.
-
-_By Mrs. W. M. L. JAY._
-
-602 Shiloh.
-603 Holden with the Cords.
-
-_By Miss R. M. KETTLE._
-
-606 Smugglers and Foresters.
-607 Mistress of Langdale Hall.
-608 Hillsden on the Moors.
-609 Under the Grand Old Hills.
-610 Fabian’s Tower.
-611 The Wreckers.
-612 My Home in the Shires.
-613 The Sea and the Moor.
-614 La Belle Marie.
-
-_By MICHAEL SCOTT._
-
-620 Tom Cringle’s Log.
-
-_By JEAN MIDDLEMASS._
-
-625 Wild Georgie.
-
-_By Author of “OLIVE VARCOE.”_
-
-629 Forgotten Lives.
-630 The Kiddle-a-Wink.
-631 Love’s Bitterness.
-632 In the House of a Friend.
-
-_By GEORGE MEREDITH._
-
-635 Tragic Comedians.
-
-_By Capt. ARMSTRONG._
-
-636 The Young Commander.
-637 The War-Hawk.
-638 Queen of the Seas.
-639 The Sailor Hero.
-640 Cruise of the “Daring.”
-641 The Sunny South.
-642 Medora.
-643 Two Midshipmen.
-
-_By Miss PARDOE._
-
-644 The Jealous Wife.
-645 Rival Beauties.
-
-_By W. STEPHENS HAYWARD._
-
-650 Eulalie.
-651 The Diamond Cross.
-
-_By ANNA H. DRURY._
-
-654 Deep Waters.
-655 Misrepresentation.
-656 The Brothers.
-
-_By DOUGLAS JERROLD._
-
-660 The Brownrigg Papers.
-
-_By Lady EDEN._
-
-661 Dumbleton Common.
-662 Semi-Attached Couple.
-663 Semi-Detached House.
-
-_By Miss C. J. HAMILTON._
-
-664 Marriage Bonds.
-665 The Flynns of Flynnville.
-
-_By HOLME LEE._
-
-673 Hawksview.
-674 Gilbert Messenger.
-675 Thorney Hall.
-
-_By HENRY COCKTON._
-
-676 Valentine Vox. Illustrated.
-
-_By KATHARINE KING._
-
-677 Lost for Gold.
-678 Queen of the Regiment.
-679 Off the Roll.
-680 Our Detachment.
-
-_By S. W. FULLOM._
-
-683 Man of the World.
-684 King and Countess.
-
-_By the Author of “CASTE,” &c._
-
-687 Colonel Dacre.
-688 My Son’s Wife.
-689 Entanglements.
-690 Mr. Arle.
-691 Bruna’s Revenge.
-692 Pearl.
-693 Caste.
-
-_By Rev. R. COBBOLD._
-
-696 Margaret Catchpole.
-697 The Suffolk Gipsy.
-
-_By Mrs. PARSONS._
-
-698 Beautiful Edith.
-699 Sun and Shade.
-700 Ursula’s Love Story.
-
-_BY ARTEMUS WARD._
-
-703 His Book; and Travels among the Mormons.
-704 Letters to Punch; and MARK TWAIN’S Practical Jokes.
-
-_By ANNA C. STEELE._
-
-705 Condoned.
-706 Gardenhurst.
-707 Broken Toys.
-
-_By Mrs. WHITNEY._
-
-710 Odd or Even?
-
-_By EMILIE CARLEN._
-
-711 Twelve Months of Matrimony.
-712 The Brilliant Marriage.
-
-_By WILLIAM CARLETON._
-
-715 Squanders of Castle Squander.
-
-_By W. S. MAYO._
-
-720 Never Again.
-721 The Berber.
-
-_By Mrs. FORRESTER._
-
-722 Olympus to Hades.
-723 Fair Women.
-
-_By AUGUSTUS MAYHEW._
-
-724 Faces for Fortunes.
-724A Paved with Gold.
-
-_By MARK LEMON._
-
-725 Leyton Hall.
-
-_By Miss BURNEY._
-
-726 Evelina.
-
-_By HONORE DE BALZAC._
-
-728 Unrequited Affection.
-
-_By JANE PORTER._
-
-732 The Scottish Chiefs.
-
-_By HANS C. ANDERSEN._
-
-734 The Improvisatore.
-
-_By KATHARINE MACQUOID._
-
-735 A Bad Beginning.
-736 Wild as a Hawk.
-737 Forgotten by the World.
-
-_By A. LAMARTINE._
-
-741 Genevieve, and The Stonemason.
-
-_By GUSTAV FREYTAG._
-
-744 Debit and Credit.
-
-_By Author of “ST. AUBYN OF ST. AUBYN’S.”_
-
-745 Charlie Nugent.
-746 St. Aubyn of St. Aubyn’s.
-
-_By “WATERS.”_
-
-747 The Heir at Law.
-748 Romance of the Seas.
-748A Privateer Captain.
-
-_By EDGAR ALLAN POE._
-
-749 Tales of Mystery, &c.
-
-_By HENRY J. BYRON._
-
-750 Paid in Full.
-
-_By MARIA EDGEWORTH._
-
-752 Helen.
-
-_By THOMAS MILLER._
-
-754 Royston Gower.
-
-_By Mrs. S. C. HALL._
-
-756 The Whiteboy.
-
-_By Lady CHATTERTON._
-
-757 The Lost Bride.
-
-_By WILLIAM GILBERT._
-
-758 Dr. Austin’s Guests.
-
-_By THOMAS PEACOCK._
-
-759 Melincourt.
-
-_By BAYLE ST. JOHN._
-
-761 Maretimo.
-
-_By C. GOLDSCHMIDT._
-
-762 Jacob Bendixen.
-
-_By Lady SCOTT._
-
-763 The Only Child.
-
-_By Bros. MAYHEW._
-
-765 The Image of his Father.
-
-_By E. MACKENZIE._
-
-768 Highland Lassies.
-
-_By S. W. R._
-
-769 Rose Douglas.
-
-_By WAT BRADWOOD._
-
-770 O. V. H.
-770A Ensemble.
-
-_By ALICE PERRY._
-
-771 Esther’s Sacrifice.
-
-_By A. MANNING._
-
-772 Ladies of Bever Hollow.
-
-_By JULIA KAVANAGH._
-
-773 Madeleine.
-
-_By Author of “GUY LIVINGSTONE.”_
-
-774 Hagarene.
-
-_By Mrs. HOUSTON._
-
-777 Lilian’s Penance.
-
-_By Lady THYNNE._
-
-778 Off the Line.
-
-_By ALICE KING._
-
-779 Queen of Herself.
-
-_By J. MASTERMAN._
-
-780 A Fatal Error.
-
-_By E. METEYARD._
-
-781 Mainstone’s Housekeeper.
-
-_By Mrs. RANDOLPH._
-
-782 Wild Hyacinth.
-
-_By Baroness DE BURY._
-
-783 All for Greed.
-
-_By Earl DESART._
-
-785 Kelverdale.
-
-_By MARK HOPE._
-
-786 Dark and Light Stories.
-
-_By Miss STEVENS._
-
-789 Zana, the Gipsy.
-
-_By SYLVESTER JUDD._
-
-790 Margaret.
-
-_BY A. DE VIGNY._
-
-791 The Conspirators.
-
-_By G. R. GLEIG._
-
-792 Chelsea Pensioners.
-
-_By A. DE FONBLANQUE._
-
-793 A Lease for Lives.
-
-_Ed. by Sir E. WRAXALL._
-
-794 The Backwoodsman.
-
-_By Miss LEVIEN._
-
-795 Almost a Quixote.
-
-_By E. JUNCKER._
-
-797 Margaret’s Ordeal.
-
-_By THORPE TALBOT._
-
-798 Philiberta.
-
-_By SOPHIE MAY._
-
-799 Our Helen.
-
-_By JAMES GREENWOOD._
-
-800 Little Ragamuffins.
-
-_By WM. ADAMSON._
-
-802 Abbot of Aberbrothock.
-
-_By Mrs. GORDON SMYTHIES._
-
-804 Guilty or Not Guilty?
-
-_By PERCY B. ST. JOHN._
-
-805 Miranda.
-
-_By Countess DE LA MOTTE._
-
-806 The Diamond Necklace.
-
-_By Captain FLACK._
-
-807 Castaways of the Prairie.
-
-_By “WANDERER.”_
-
-808 Hunt-Room Stories and Yachting Yarns. Illustrated.
-
-_By W. G. CRAVEN._
-
-809 The Margravine.
-
-_By A. WHAMOND._
-
-810 The Conscript’s Revenge.
-811 James Tacket.
-
-_By Mrs. J. K. SPENDER._
-
-814 Godwyn’s Ordeal.
-
-_By Mrs. KENNARD._
-
-818 The Right Sort.
-
-_By Mrs. PIRKIS._
-
-825 Wanted an Heir.
-
-_BY A. DE GALLENGA._
-
-826 Jenny Jennett.
-
-_By SAMUEL LAING._
-
-828 A Sporting Quixote.
-
-_By HANNAH LYNCH._
-
-830 Through Troubled Waters.
-
-_By BYRON WEBBER._
-
-834 Pigskin and Willow.
-
-_By CATHARINE SINCLAIR._
-
-850 Beatrice.
-851 Modern Accomplishments.
-852 Holiday House.
-853 Modern Flirtations.
-854 Mysterious Marriage.
-
-_By JULES VERNE._
-
-856 Five Weeks in a Balloon.
-857 English at the North Pole.
-858 Among the Cannibals.
-859 A Journey to the Interior of the Earth.
-
-_By ERCKMANN-CHATRIAN._
-
-876 The Great Invasion.
-877 Campaign In Kabylia.
-878 Waterloo.
-879 The Man-Wolf.
-880 The Blockade.
-881 The States-General.
-882 Citizen Bonaparte.
-883 Year One of the Republic.
-884 Daniel Rock.
-885 Friend Fritz.
-886 The Conscript.
-
-_By Mrs. LEITH ADAMS._
-
-900 Aunt Hepsy’s Foundling.
-
-_By SAMUEL WARREN._
-
-905 Diary of a late Physician.
-906 Ten Thousand a-Year.
-
-_By HAMILTON AIDE._
-
-920 Introduced to Society.
-
-_By W. M. THACKERAY._
-
-925 Yellowplush Correspondence, & Fitz-Boodle Papers, &c.
-
-_By OSWALD CRAWFURD._
-
-951 Grace Tolmar.
-952 The World we Live In.
-953 A Woman’s Reputation.
-
-_By E. WERNER._
-
-960 Riven Bonds.
-961 Sacred Vows.
-
-_By F. MARION CRAWFORD._
-
-965 An American Politician.
-966 To Leeward.
-
-_BY C. E. CRADDOCK._
-
-971 In the Clouds.
-972 Story of Keedon Bluffs.
-
-_By Prof. WILSON._
-
-981 Tales of the Border. I.
-982 ---- II.
-983 ---- III.
-984 ---- IV.
-
-_By GUSTAVE AIMARD._
-
-1001 The Tiger Slayer.
-1002 Last of the Incas.
-1003 Pirates of the Prairie.
-1004 The Prairie Flower.
-1005 The Trapper’s Daughter.
-1006 The White Scalper.
-1007 The Indian Chief.
-
-_By Lord BEACONSFIELD._
-
-1021 Vivian Grey.
-1022 Coningsby.
-1023 Henrietta Temple.
-1024 Venetia.
-1025 Sybil.
-1026 Alroy, and Contarini Fleming.
-1027 The Young Duke.
-
-_By EMILE GABORIAU._
-
-1031 In Deadly Peril.
-
-_By ELIOT WARBURTON._
-
-1051 The Crescent and Cross.
-
-_By ALEXANDER DUMAS._
-
-1060 Count of Monte Cristo.
-
-_ANONYMOUS._
-
-767 Belial.
-776 First in the Field.
-788 Leah, the Jewish Maiden.
-796 Janetta, and Blythe Herndon.
-803 Life in a Prison.
-813 Tales of Tramps. Illust.
-1102 Remarkable Impostors and Celebrated Claimants.
-
-
-WARD, LOCK & CO.’S
-
-SPORTSMAN’S LIBRARY OF FAVOURITE FICTION.
-
-Crown 8vo, well bound, cloth gilt, 2s. 6d. each.
-
- 1 From Post to Finish. HAWLEY SMART.
- 2 A False Start. HAWLEY SMART.
- 3 The Right Sort. MRS. E. KENNARD.
- 4 O. V. H.; or, How Mr. Blake Became Master of Fox-Hounds. WAT BRADWOOD.
- 5 The Flyers of the Hunt. JOHN MILLS.
- 6 Tilbury Nogo. J. G. WHYTE-MELVILLE.
- 7 Hunt-Room Stories. “WANDERER.”
- 8 The Flying Scud. C. C. CLARKE.
- 9 A Sporting Quixote. SAMUEL LAING.
-10 Stable Secrets, and The Life of a Racehorse. JOHN MILLS.
-
-
-WARD, LOCK & CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of Project Gutenberg's The Last of the Mortimers, by Margaret Oliphant
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-Project Gutenberg's The Last of the Mortimers, by Margaret Oliphant
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-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
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-Title: The Last of the Mortimers
- A Story in Two Voices
-
-Author: Margaret Oliphant
-
-Release Date: December 22, 2016 [EBook #51265]
-[Last updated: July 18, 2017]
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-
-<hr class="full" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
-<a href="images/cover_lg.jpg">
-<img src="images/cover.jpg" width="324" height="500" alt="" title="" /></a>
-</div>
-
-<h1><small><small>THE</small></small><br />
-
-LAST OF THE MORTIMERS.</h1>
-
-<p class="cb"><span class="eng">A Story in Two Voices.</span><br /><br />
-
-BY<br />
-M R S. &nbsp; O L I P H A N T,<br /><br />
-AUTHOR OF<br />
-
-“MADONNA MARY,” “FOR LOVE AND LIFE,” “SQUIRE ARDEN,”<br />
-“MAY,” “THE HOUSE ON THE MOOR,” ETC., ETC.<br /><br />
-
-<span class="sans">NEW EDITION.</span><br /><br />
-
-WARD, LOCK, AND CO.,<br />
-LONDON, NEW YORK, AND MELBOURNE.</p>
-
-<p class="c">[<i>All rights reserved.</i>]
-</p>
-
-<h2><a name="CONTENTS" id="CONTENTS">CONTENTS.</a></h2>
-
-<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr><th><a href="#PART_I">PART I.</a></th></tr>
-<tr><td>&nbsp;</td><td class="rt"><small>PAGE</small></td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">The Ladies at the Hall</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_1">1</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><th><a href="#PART_II">PART II.</a></th></tr>
-
-<tr><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">The Lieutenant’s Wife</span></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_48">48</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><th><a href="#PART_III">PART III.</a></th></tr>
-
-<tr><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">The Ladies at the Hall</span>&mdash;<i>continued</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_105">105</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><th><a href="#PART_IV">PART IV.</a></th></tr>
-
-<tr><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">The Lieutenant’s Wife</span>&mdash;<i>continued</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_166">166</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><th><a href="#PART_V">PART V.</a></th></tr>
-
-<tr><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">The Ladies at the Hall</span>&mdash;<i>continued</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_227">227</a></td></tr>
-
-<tr><th><a href="#PART_VI">PART VI.</a></th></tr>
-
-<tr><td valign="top"><span class="smcap">The Lieutenant’s Wife</span>&mdash;<i>continued</i></td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_257">257</a></td></tr>
-<tr><td class="c" colspan="2">&mdash;</td></tr>
-<tr><td valign="top">&nbsp; &nbsp; POSTSCRIPT</td><td class="rt" valign="bottom"><a href="#page_365">365</a></td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<h1><img src="images/ill_001.png"
-alt=""
-width="500"
-/>
-<br /><br />THE LAST OF THE MORTIMERS.</h1>
-
-<h2><a name="PART_I" id="PART_I"></a>PART I.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_1" id="page_1"></a>{1}</span><br /><br />
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL.</h2>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_I-a" id="Chapter_I-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">THOUGHT</span> I heard a slight rustle, as if Sarah had taken off her
-spectacles, but I was really so interested in the matter which I was
-then discussing with Mr. Cresswell, our solicitor, that I did not look
-round, as I certainly should have done in any other circumstances; but
-imagine my utter amazement and the start which Mr. Cresswell gave,
-nearly upsetting the ink on the drab table-cover, which never <i>could</i>
-have got the better of it, when my sister Sarah, who never speaks except
-to me, and then only in a whisper, pronounced distinctly, loud out, the
-following words: “His Christian name was Richard Arkwright; he was
-called after the cotton-spinner; that was the chief thing against him in
-my father’s days.”</p>
-
-<p>Now it was years and years ago since Sarah had lost her voice. It
-happened before my father died, when we were both comparatively young
-people; she had been abroad with him<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_2" id="page_2"></a>{2}</span> and caught a violent cold on her
-way home. She was rather proud in those days&mdash;it was before she took to
-knitting&mdash;and she had not forgotten then that she was once a beauty.
-When she saw that her voice was gone for good, Sarah gave up talking.
-She declared to me privately that to keep up a conversation in that
-hoarse horrid whisper was more than she could give in to, and though she
-was a very good Christian in principle she never could be resigned to
-that loss. At first she kept upstairs in her own room; but after my
-father’s death she came regularly to the drawing-room, giving everybody
-to understand that she was not to be spoken to. Poor dear old soul! she
-was as anxious to hear everything that was said to me as if she had come
-down off her stilts and taken part in the conversation; but you may
-suppose what a startling event it was to hear Sarah’s voice.</p>
-
-<p>I gave a jump, as was natural, and ran to her to see what had happened.</p>
-
-<p>“Do be cautious, Milly,” she said, fretfully, in her old whisper; for to
-be sure I had whisked down her ball of worsted, and caught one of her
-pins in my new-fashioned buttonholes. “At your age a gentlewoman should
-move about in a different sort of way. I am quite well, thank you.
-Please to go back to your occupation, and leave me to carry on mine in
-peace.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Sarah, my dear soul! you’ve got back your voice!” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>Sarah smiled at me, not with her pretty smile. “People who are strong
-are always thinking such things,” she said. “You don’t know what it is
-to be afflicted; go back to your business, please.”</p>
-
-<p>“What does she say, Miss Milly?” cried Mr. Cresswell, quite eagerly,
-when I went back to the table.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, nothing at all; it’s all a mistake, I suppose,” said I, feeling a
-little nettled, “put it down all the same. I dare say it was one of
-those spirits we hear about nowadays. And a very useful bit of
-information too, which makes it all the more remarkable, for I never
-heard they did much good in that way. Richard Arkwright! Of all the
-names I ever heard, the oddest name for a Mortimer! but put it down.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell put it down as I said. “Richard Arkwright Mortimer is
-something more of an individual than Blank Mortimer, Esq., that’s true,”
-said he; “he ought to be something with that name. Begging your pardon,
-Miss Milly, though he was a Mortimer, he ought to have had either a
-profession or a trade with that name. Don’t you think now,”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_3" id="page_3"></a>{3}</span> he said,
-lowering his voice, and making a sign at Sarah over his shoulder, “after
-having broken the ice, something more might be got out of <i>her</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>I shook my head at first, being angry; then I nodded as I came to
-myself, and at last said&mdash;it was all I could say&mdash;“We’ll see.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, ah, we’ll see&mdash;that’ll do, Miss Milly; but don’t lose your temper,
-my dear lady,” said Mr. Cresswell; “all the county reverences you for an
-angelic temper, as you well know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Stuff!” said I; “I’ve too much Welsh blood in me for that; but a pack
-of interlopers, like the rest of you, never know the real mettle of them
-that come of the soil; we’re as clear of the soil as the ore in the
-Llangollen mines, we Mortimers; we can do what we have to do, whatever
-it may be.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell cast up his eyebrows a little, and gave a kind of glance
-towards Sarah and her knitting. “Well, well, it isn’t bad ore, at all
-events,” he said, with a chuckle: “but, after all, I suppose the first
-squire was not dug out of Llewellyn cliff?”</p>
-
-<p>“It will be a vast deal more profitable to find out where the next
-squire is to come from,” said I; “we are old women both of us; I’d
-advise you to set things agoing without delay. What would happen, do you
-suppose, if Sarah and I were both to die without finding an heir? What
-does happen, by the bye, when such a thing occurs; does it go to the
-crown?”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear lady, I would not give much for the crown’s chance,” said
-Cresswell, with, a little shrug of his shoulders. “Heirs-at-law are
-never so far lost or mislaid but they turn up some time. Birds of the
-air carry the matter when there’s an estate in question. There’s nothing
-so safe to be found, in my humble opinion, as an heir-at-law.”</p>
-
-<p>“For I shouldn’t much mind,” said I to myself, thinking over it, “if it
-went to the Queen. She might fix on the park for autumn quarters, sure,
-as well as on that outlandish Scotch castle of hers. It’s a great deal
-nearer, and I make sure it’s prettier; or if she gave it to the Prince
-of Wales as a present, or to any of the other children, I should not
-mind for my part. It is not by any means so bad a prospect as I
-supposed&mdash;it might go to the Queen.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, then, what would be done with Mr. Richard Arkwright and his
-progeny? I’ll be bound he has ten children,” said Mr. Cresswell.
-“Somebody did leave Her Majesty an<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_4" id="page_4"></a>{4}</span> estate not so very long ago, and I
-rather think she sought out the heirs and made it up to them. Depend
-upon it, Mr. Richard Arkwright would have it out of her. Come, we must
-stick to the Mortimers, Miss Milly. I’ll go off and see after the
-advertisements; there’s plenty of time. I don’t believe you mean to be
-in any hurry out of this world, either Miss Sarah or you.”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s as it may be&mdash;that’s as God pleases,” said I; “but you must wait
-a little first, and I’ll see if I can find out anything further about
-him. Perhaps some one can think on; we’ll see, we’ll see; more may
-come.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell nodded his head confidentially. “You don’t remember
-anything about him yourself?” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Bless you, I am ten years younger than she is,” said I; “she was a
-young lady, I was only a child. I neither knew nor cared anything about
-the Lancashire cousin. Ten years make a great deal of difference when
-people are young.”</p>
-
-<p>“And when they’re old as well,” said Cresswell, with a little nod of his
-head. Mr. Cresswell, of course, like all the other people, would never
-have looked at me when Sarah was present in old days; but now, when we
-were both old women, the sly old lawyer had wheeled about, and was
-rather an admirer of mine. I have had admirers since I was fifty; I
-never had many before.</p>
-
-<p>“Now, are you going to stay to tea?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you. I have not the least doubt it would be for my own advantage;
-my cook is not to be named in the same breath with yours; but I promised
-to be home to dinner,” said Mr. Cresswell. “Thank you all the same; Sara
-will be waiting for me.”</p>
-
-<p>“And how is the dear child?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Very contrairy,” said Mr. Cresswell, shaking his head. “To tell the
-truth, I don’t know what to make of her. I had twenty minds to bring her
-to-day and leave her with you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bring her next time. I never find her contrairy,” said I. “But perhaps
-<i>you</i> never were young yourself?”</p>
-
-<p>“Perhaps not, Miss Milly,” he said. “I have had a pretty tough life,
-anyhow; and it is hard to be thwarted at the last by the only creature
-one has to love.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is harder not to have a single creature that one has a right to
-love,” said I a little sharply. “If we had your Sara belonging to us,
-contrairy or not, we should not have to hunt up a far-off cousin, or
-advertise for an heir.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_5" id="page_5"></a>{5}</span></p>
-
-<p>A little passing gleam shot from the solicitor’s eye; he looked at me
-close for a moment, and then at Sarah, with a lip that moved slightly,
-as if he were unconsciously saying something within himself; I saw what
-it was as clear as daylight.</p>
-
-<p>“She’s a good girl,” he said, faltering a little. “I daresay you’d soon
-have her in hand, Miss Milly; there’s no place she is so fond of as the
-Park; I’ll bring her out to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p>And he went away, never thinking that I had seen what was in his mind.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_II-a" id="Chapter_II-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">O</span><span class="smcap">UR</span> drawing-room was a very large one. The Mortimers had required large
-rooms in their day; and I will not say, if we had been young people, and
-disposed to have company, that we could not have kept it up with any of
-them; for my father, who lived in a very homely way, proud as he was,
-had laid up a good deal, and so had we. But though we kept no company,
-we had not the heart to turn the Mortimer family, of which we were the
-only remaining representatives, out of their old room. So we had a great
-screen, made of stamped leather, and which was like everything else, of
-my grandmother’s days, stretched behind Sarah’s chair, and with a very
-large bright fire, and a good lamp upon the round table, we managed to
-find the fireside very comfortable, though we were surrounded by all the
-ranges of old furniture in the old half-dark room. Old Ellis had to come
-stumbling as slowly as if the distance had been half a mile between us
-and the door, when he came into the room with anything; and I dare say
-impatient young people could not have put up with the rumble of chairs
-rolled aside, and footstools tripped over, with which he always gave us
-warning of his coming. For my part I was used to it, and took no notice.
-Where I sat, the prospect before me was, first, Sarah in her easy chair,
-close within shade of the screen, and beyond a darkling<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_6" id="page_6"></a>{6}</span> stretch of
-space, which a stranger might have made very mysterious, but which I
-knew perfectly well to be filled with just so many tables, chairs,
-ottomans, and miscellaneous articles, not one of which could have been
-stolen away without being missed. On the other side of the room, behind
-my own chair, was a grand piano in a corner and another waste of old
-furniture. Many people wondered why we did not make a cosy little
-sitting-room of the boudoir, which had never been used since my mother’s
-days. But Sarah, and I may say myself also, was of a different way of
-thinking. We liked the big room which once had not been at all too big
-for the Mortimers, and I am not sure that I did not even like the dark
-bit on either side of us, and the two big old-fashioned mirrors, like
-magic mirrors in a fairy tale, with a faint trembling of light over
-them, and all the shadowy depths of the room standing out in them, as if
-to double the size, which was already so much too great. Sometimes I
-used to stand and watch myself going across one of those big mirrors. It
-was a strange weird creature wandering about among the still, silent,
-deserted household gods. It was not surely me.</p>
-
-<p>Not that I mean to represent myself as a sentimental person&mdash;not in the
-very slightest degree. I am past fifty and stout. My own opinion is that
-people had best be stout when they are past fifty, and I like my own
-little comforts as well as anybody of my years. When I was young I was
-far from being pretty. If I am to state frankly my own ideas on this
-subject, I would say that I think I might have passed for moderately
-good-looking, if I had not been sister to a beauty. But when we two were
-described as the beautiful Miss Mortimer and the plain Miss Mortimer,
-you may suppose how any little poor pretensions of mine were snubbed at
-once. To be good-looking was something not expected from Sarah’s sister.
-But however the tables have rather turned of late. If you asked little
-Sara Cresswell, for example, who was the pretty Miss Mortimer, I do
-believe the dear child would say, with the greatest of innocence, “Miss
-Milly.” At our time of life it doesn’t matter very much, to be sure; but
-dear, dear, vanity does lie deep! I declare honestly it’s a pleasure to
-me.</p>
-
-<p>When Sarah and I are by ourselves, we don’t have a great deal of
-conversation. She has lost her voice, as I said, which makes her decline
-talking: and I must say, though she never yields to acknowledge it, that
-I think she’s lost her hearing a little, poor dear old soul! Every night
-in her life (except<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_7" id="page_7"></a>{7}</span> Sundays) she reads the Times. That paper gets great
-abuse in many quarters, especially in the country, where our old
-Squires, to be sure, are always at it for changing its opinions; but I
-say, great success, and long life to the Times! that is my opinion. How
-ever Sarah would get over those long evenings without that paper, I
-don’t know. It quite keeps us in reading; and I do assure you, we know
-much more about most things that are going on than a great many <i>men</i>
-do, who are much more in the world. The Times comes in early, but Sarah
-never looks at it till after tea. I have to keep out of her sight,
-indeed, when I glance over it myself in the early part of the day, for
-Sarah does not approve of daylight reading. She thinks it a waste of
-time. We have not such a very great deal to occupy us either, as you may
-suppose; at least Sarah has little, except her knitting, for she will
-rarely allow me to consult her anything about the property, though she
-is the eldest. I wonder for my part that she does not weary of her life.
-She never comes down to breakfast, and I don’t know very well what she
-and Carson find to busy themselves about till noon in her room upstairs;
-but at twelve o’clock punctually she comes down all dressed for the day.
-She does not dress as I do, in the ordinary dress that everybody wears,
-neither are Sarah’s fashions the same as I remember in our youth, when
-our waists were just under our arms, and our gowns had “gores” in them.
-On the contrary, she has taken to a very long waist and tight sleeves,
-with a worked muslin shawl or scarf over her shoulders. In cold weather
-the muslin is lined with silk of delicate colours, and her cap, which is
-always light and pretty (Carson has great taste), trimmed to correspond.
-Her hair, of course, she <i>always</i> wears in curls at the front. It is
-quite silver-white, and her face, poor dear soul, is a little pinched
-and sharp nowadays. When she takes her seat within shelter of the screen
-at twelve o’clock every day, the muslin shawl, lined with peach, is as
-pretty as possible in itself: to be sure Sara Cresswell might almost
-wear it to a ball; but I do declare I thought it looked very chilly
-to-day on Sarah. Nice white Shetland for instance, which is almost as
-pretty as lace, or, indeed, one of those beautiful soft fine woollen
-shawls, would look a great deal better over that purple silk gown, if
-she could only think so. But to be sure, Sarah will have her own way.
-There she sat knitting all the time Mr. Cresswell was talking with me,
-and there she does sit all day long with her basket of wools, and
-knitting-pins, and patterns. Every other day she takes a drive, goes to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_8" id="page_8"></a>{8}</span>
-church once on Sundays, and reads the Times on all the week evenings.
-That is exactly how she lives.</p>
-
-<p>Now perhaps this does not appear so odd to anybody else as it does to
-me; and I am sure I might have got used to it after a dozen years; but
-only Sarah, you see, has very good abilities, and is not the person to
-fix herself down like this. And she knows a great deal more of life than
-I do. My father and she were, I think, near upon ten years abroad after
-my mother died. What she was doing all that time I know no more than
-Carson does. Many a rumour went about that she was married, and many an
-anxious hour I had all by myself at the Park. But when she came back
-just Miss Mortimer, there was not a soul in the county but was
-surprised. Such a great beauty! and papa’s eldest daughter and
-co-heiress! people said it was unaccountable. I can’t say <i>I</i> thought it
-unaccountable. I never saw anybody that I could fancy myself, except
-perhaps&mdash;&mdash;, and then <i>he</i> never asked me, you know. It might be
-precisely the same with Sarah, though she was a beauty. But the wonder
-to me is that after having lived abroad so long, and having, as I have
-no doubt she had, a life of her own, which did not merely belong to my
-father’s daughter, she should just have settled down like this. Many and
-many a time have I thought it all over, sitting opposite to her of an
-evening, when tea was over and she was reading the Times. There she sat
-quite straight up, her muslin shawl with the peach-bottom lining
-dropping down a little over her shoulders, and her thin hands in their
-black lace mits holding the paper. She had never reposed any confidence
-in me, you see. <i>I</i> did not know what might have happened to her when
-she was out upon the big waves of life. I dare say many a time when I
-wondered why she took no interest in my affairs, she was back upon that
-reserve of her own which I knew nothing about. But the odd thing to me
-is, that after having really had something that one could call a life,
-something happening to her own self,&mdash;don’t you know what I mean?&mdash;she
-should have settled down so fixed and motionless here.</p>
-
-<p>We dined early, which was a prejudice of mine; but as Sarah had a very
-uncertain appetite, we had always “something” to tea, which was the
-cause of Mr. Cresswell’s allusion to our cook Evans. Further, we
-indulged ourselves by having this substantial tea in the drawing-room,
-which we never left after our early dinner. When tea was over on the
-night of Mr. Cresswell’s visit, I had some little matters to do which
-kept me about the room, going from one place to another. As<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_9" id="page_9"></a>{9}</span> I stood in
-the shadow looking at the bright fire and lamp, and Sarah reading in her
-easy chair, I could not prevent a great many inquiries rising in my
-mind. What was Cousin Richard Arkwright Mortimer to her, for example? He
-had not been at the Park, nor heard of, so far as I know, for forty
-years. And then about her voice? On the whole it was very curious. I
-resolved to try hard for some conversation with Sarah, after she had
-done with the Times, that night.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_III-a" id="Chapter_III-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> was not a very easy matter to draw Sarah into a conversation,
-especially in the evening. I had to watch my opportunity very carefully.
-At ten exactly the door opened in the dark distance, and Ellis came
-rumbling along through the dim depths behind the screen with the sherry
-and biscuits. Just at the same moment Sarah smoothed out the paper
-carefully, laid it down, as she always did, on the top of her
-wool-basket, and held out her hands to warm them at the fire. They were
-very thin hands in their black lace mits, and they were a little
-rheumatic sometimes, though she did not like to confess it. She kept
-rubbing them slowly before the fire.</p>
-
-<p>I poured out her glass of sherry, put the plate of biscuits within her
-reach, and drew my chair nearer, that I might be sure of hearing what
-she said. Sarah took no notice of my movements; she rubbed diligently
-one of her forefingers, the joints of which were a little enlarged, and
-never so much as glanced at me.</p>
-
-<p>“Did you ever know anything about this cousin Richard of ours, Sarah?”
-said I.</p>
-
-<p>She did not answer just for a moment, but kept on rubbing her
-forefinger; when that was finished she answered, “I knew a good deal
-about him once. I would have married him if they had let me, in the old
-times.”</p>
-
-<p>I was so thunderstruck by this unexpected frankness that I scarcely knew
-what to say. At last I stumbled out somehow<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_10" id="page_10"></a>{10}</span>&mdash;“You would have married
-him!” with a kind of inexpressible amazement; and she saying it so
-calmly too!</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Sarah, rubbing her middle finger thoughtfully, “he was
-young, and fresh-looking, and good-tempered. I dare say I could have
-liked him if they had let me; it is quite true.”</p>
-
-<p>“And would they not let you?” cried I, in my eagerness, thinking that
-perhaps Sarah was going to confide in me at last.</p>
-
-<p>“No,” she said, pursing up her lips. She seemed to echo the “no” after,
-in the little nod she gave her head, but she said nothing more.</p>
-
-<p>“And Sarah, tell me, please, if you don’t mind, was it because of his
-means?” cried I; “was he not rich enough?”</p>
-
-<p>“You don’t know anything about these affairs, Milly,” said Sarah, a
-little scornfully. “I don’t mind in the least. He was exactly such a man
-as would have taken your fancy. When I saw him, five years after, I was
-glad enough they did not let me; though it might have saved a deal of
-trouble too,” she said to herself in a kind of sigh.</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know how I managed to hear those last words. I am sure she did
-not think I heard them. You may suppose I grew more curious with every
-word she spoke.</p>
-
-<p>“And where was it you met him five years after; was it abroad?” said I,
-with a little flutter in my voice.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot think she was very sharp in her hearing. She gave a little
-glance up at me, noticing that I paused before the last word; and then
-seeing me look a little frightened and conscious, she drew herself up
-all at once, and stopped rubbing her fingers.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean to cross-question <i>me</i>, Milly?” she cried, giving a stamp
-with her foot. “Do you mean to rummage into my affairs and find me out
-by your questions? You are very much mistaken, I can tell you. I am just
-as willing as any one that Richard Mortimer should be found out. In
-making your new heir you shall have no opposition from me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, bless us all, Sarah!” said I, “it was your own idea.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very well,” she said, with a little confused heat of manner; “why do
-you imply that I have any objection? One would suppose, to hear you,
-that you were trying to find out some secrets of mine.”</p>
-
-<p>“I never knew you had any secrets to find out,” said I, sharply. I knew
-quite well I was aggravating her, but one must take one’s own part.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_11" id="page_11"></a>{11}</span></p>
-
-<p>She did not make any answer. She got up on her feet, and drew her muslin
-shawl round her. There was a little nervous tremble about her head and
-hands; she often had it, but I marked it more than ever to-night. I
-thought at first she was going away without her sherry, but she thought
-better of that. However, she went a few steps behind the screen to put
-her basket aside, a thing she never did; and I think I can see her now,
-as I saw her in the big mirror, drawing the fingers of one hand through
-the other, and gliding along through the dark room, all reflected from
-head to foot in the great glass, with her peach-blossom ribbons nodding
-tremulously over her grey hair, and her white muslin shawl drawn over
-her shoulders. Her face, as I saw it in the mirror, had a cloud and
-agitation upon it, but was set with a fixed smile upon the lips, and a
-strange, settled, passionate determination. I could no more penetrate
-what it meant than I could tell why Sarah was angry. It was something
-within herself that made her so, nothing that I had done or said.</p>
-
-<p>After she was gone I dropped into my chair, and sat there wondering and
-pondering till the fire had nearly gone out, and the great room was
-lying blank and chill in the darkness. Now that my thoughts were
-directed into this channel&mdash;and it was very strange to me that they
-never had been so before&mdash;there were a thousand things to think of. When
-Sarah was twenty and I only ten there was a wonderful difference to be
-sure between us, and not a great deal less when Sarah was thirty and I
-twenty; but from that time it had been growing less by degrees, so that
-we really did not feel nowadays any great difference in our age. But I
-was only fourteen when my mother died. I had never, of course, been able
-to share in any of the gaieties, being only in the schoolroom, and
-certainly never dreamed of criticising my big sister, whom I thought
-everything that was beautiful and splendid. Then my father and she went
-away and left me. The Park was let, and I lived with my godmother. I
-almost forgot that I had a father and sister in the world. They seldom
-wrote, and we lived entirely out of the world, and never heard even in
-gossip of the goings on at Rome and Naples, and what place the beautiful
-Miss Mortimer took there. They came home at last quite suddenly, in the
-depth of winter. Naturally Sarah had caught a very bad cold. She kept
-her own room for a very long time after and never saw anybody. Then she
-lost her voice. I remember I took it quite for granted at the time that
-it was her cold and the loss of her voice that made her shut herself<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_12" id="page_12"></a>{12}</span>
-up; but I must say that once or twice since I have had a little doubt on
-that subject. She was then not much past five-and-thirty, a very
-handsome woman. My father lived many years after, but they never, though
-they had been great companions for so long before, seemed to be at ease
-in each other’s presence. They never even sat down to dinner together
-when they could help it. Since then, to be sure, Sarah had begun to live
-more with me; but what a life it was! I had the concerns of the property
-to occupy me, and things to manage; besides, I was always out and about
-in the village and among the neighbours; and still more, I was quite a
-different woman from Sarah, more homely-like, and had never been out in
-the world. I wouldn’t for anything be what you might call suspicious of
-my own only sister; and what I <i>could</i> be suspicious about, even if I
-wanted to, was more than I knew. Still it was odd, very odd, more
-particularly after Sarah’s strange words and look. My mind was all in a
-ferment&mdash;I could not tell what to think; but it came upon me as strong
-as a conviction that something <i>must</i> have happened in those ten years;
-what it could be was as dark as midnight, but there must be something.
-That was the end I came to after all my pondering. Ellis came twice into
-the room to shut up, and twice stumbled off again with his “Beg pardon,
-ma’am.” It began to feel chilly as the fire went out, and the night grew
-pale and ghostly in the mirrors. By and by I began to hear those cracks
-and rustles which one always hears when one sits up late at night. It
-wasn’t in the furniture, bless you! I know a great deal better than
-that; the old walnut and satin-wood was all seasoned by a century’s
-wear. I don’t pretend to say what it was: but I know that I was made
-very uneasy sitting all by myself, with the fire out, in that big room.
-When it drew near twelve o’clock, I went to bed.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_13" id="page_13"></a>{13}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IV-a" id="Chapter_IV-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">MIGHT</span> as well, before all this description of our day’s talk and
-cogitations, have said first who we were.</p>
-
-<p>The Mortimers are an old Cheshire family. We came originally from the
-other side of the Dee; but we have been settled here in the Park since
-Henry the Seventh’s time, when to be sure Welshmen were in fashion. The
-old tower of Wyfod, over Llangollen way, was the cradle of our family.
-So we have not travelled very far from our origin. We have always been,
-since we came to the Cheshire side, tolerably prosperous and prudent,
-not mixing much with politics, having a pretty eye for a bargain, and
-letting other people get along in their own way; I say so quite frankly,
-not being ashamed of it. Once, I confess, I felt a little sore that we
-had no crusading knights nor wild cavaliers among our ancestors; but
-that, of course, was when I was young. Now I take a different view of
-affairs. Cavaliers and crusading knights have been generally very
-expensive luxuries for their families, and must have done a great deal
-more mischief than a man, however well disposed to it, could do at home.
-Another circumstance has been good for our purse, but not so good (I
-fear&mdash;so at least it threatens at the present moment) for the
-prolongation of the race. The Mortimers have never had large families. I
-suppose few English houses of our rank, or indeed of any rank, can count
-so few cousins and collateral branches. We have relations, certainly, by
-my mother’s side, who was one of the Stamfords of Lincolnshire; but
-except this visionary Richard Arkwright (did ever mortal hear of such a
-name for a Mortimer!), there is not a single individual remaining of our
-own name and blood to inherit the property after us, which is a very sad
-thing to say, and indeed, in some degree, a sort of disgrace to us. The
-family allowance of children for ever so long has been somewhat about
-one son and one daughter. The daughter has married off, as was natural,
-or died unmarried, as, indeed, for a Miss Mortimer, was more natural
-still; and the son has become the squire, and had a son and a daughter
-in his turn. In Queen Anne’s time, the then squire, whose name was
-Lewis, made an unfortunate divergence from the usual custom. He had two
-girls only; but one of them married, and her husband took our name and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_14" id="page_14"></a>{14}</span>
-arms; the other died very opportunely, and left her sister in full
-possession, so no harm was done. It is, however, a saying in the family,
-that the Mortimers are to end in two sisters, and that after them the
-property is to be divided and alienated from the name. This is one
-reason why I never was much of a favourite at home. They forgave Sarah,
-for she was beautiful, and just the person to be an heiress. But
-co-heiresses are the bugbear of the Mortimers. Ah me! If there had been
-no such saying as this, or if we had been poor girls, it might have made
-a difference! Not in me, to be sure; I need not be sentimental about it.
-I never saw an individual in this world I could have fancied but one,
-and he, you know, never asked me; so it could not have made the
-slightest difference to me.</p>
-
-<p>However, if there’s one thing more than another that my heart is set to
-resist, it is letting this prophecy be fulfilled in our time. I’d rather
-compass sea and land to find a Mortimer! I’d rather set out, old as I
-am, and hunt for one with a lantern through the world! Sarah, though she
-is so capricious and contrary, is of the same mind. It was she who told
-me of this Mr. Richard Arkwright, whom I had forgotten all about. And
-yet, you see, after showing such decided interest, she turns upon one
-so! What a very odd thing it is that she did not marry! I never could
-make it out, for my part. Nobody could imagine, to see her now, how very
-pretty, nay, how beautiful she was; and such a way with her! and
-dressed, to be sure, like a duchess. All the young men in the county
-were after her before she went abroad. But dear, dear! to think what a
-changed life when she came home, and lost her voice, and shut herself up
-in her own room.</p>
-
-<p>There is nothing I dislike more than curiosity, or prying, or
-suspiciousness; but I <i>should</i> like to know the rights of it&mdash;how Sarah
-went on abroad. To be sure my father was anxious enough that <i>she</i>
-should get married, and have a good humble-minded husband, who would
-take the name of Mortimer. It was only me that he would not hear of any
-proposal for. I don’t think he would have broken his heart if, like the
-Milly Mortimer in Queen Anne’s time, I had been so obliging as to die.</p>
-
-<p>However, here we are, just as we were in the nursery, two Miss
-Mortimers. Sarah, who might have had half a dozen good marriages, just
-the same as I am; and I protest I don’t even know that there are two
-people existing in the world who have the smallest collateral right to
-divide the property and take it away from the name; unless Richard
-Arkwright<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_15" id="page_15"></a>{15}</span> should happen to have co-heiresses! married to husbands who
-will not change to Mortimer! Don’t let me think of such a horror!</p>
-
-<p>These are our circumstances in the meantime. It is a very sad thing for
-a family when there are no collateral branches. I forgot to say that how
-this Richard Arkwright came about, was by the strange accident of Squire
-George, who died in 1713, having <i>two sons</i>!</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_V-a" id="Chapter_V-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">D</span><span class="smcap">URING</span> all this time&mdash;and indeed, after all, it was only a single day&mdash;I
-had forgotten all about Mr. Cresswell and his Sara. He and his family
-had been our family’s solicitors for a great many generations. He knew
-all our secrets that we knew ourselves. It is only about twenty years
-since he succeeded his father in the business, and married that pretty
-delicate young creature, the clergyman’s daughter of St. John’s. She
-died very early, poor thing, as was to be expected, and Sara is his only
-child. But, of course, he does not know any more than a baby how to
-manage a pretty fantastical young girl. They are a very respectable,
-substantial family in their way, and have been settled in their house in
-Chester for a very long time&mdash;though, of course, it would be absurd to
-call a family of solicitors an <i>old</i> family&mdash;and Mr. Cresswell is very
-well off in the world, and can give a very pretty fortune to his
-daughter; yet the covetous old fox has actually a fancy in his mind&mdash;<i>I</i>
-could see it when he was last here&mdash;that if Sara only played her cards
-well she might be heiress of the Park, and succeed Sarah and me. An
-attorney’s daughter! Not that I mean to put a slight upon Sara, who is
-our godchild, and a very sweet, pretty girl. But to fancy that old
-Cresswell could take up such an idea, and <i>I</i> not find him out! It is
-odd, really, how the cleverest of men deceive themselves. He will take
-every means to find out Richard Mortimer all the same. He’ll not fail of
-his duty, however things may turn out, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_16" id="page_16"></a>{16}</span> know that; but to think at the
-very bottom of his sly old heart that he should have a hankering after
-the Park! It is quite inconceivable what fancies will take hold of men.</p>
-
-<p>Sara is our godchild, as I said, called Sara Millicent, in token of the
-kindness that poor Mrs. Cresswell, poor young motherless creature,
-thought she had received from us. Poor little soul! she little thought
-then, that the baby she was so proud of, was the only one she was to be
-spared to bring into the world. From that time till now Sara has been a
-pet at the Park, and always free to come to us when she wished, or when
-her father thought it would do her good. This was how she was coming
-to-day. Perhaps it might be imagined by some people rather a bold thing
-of one’s family solicitor to bring his daughter to us without an
-invitation. But you see we were only ladies, and did not stand on our
-dignity as people do when there are men in the house; and, besides, she
-was our pet and godchild, which makes all the difference.</p>
-
-<p>Just before dinner, Mr. Cresswell’s one-horse chaise came into the
-courtyard. We never use the great door except for great people, and when
-Sarah goes out for her airings. I always use the court entrance, which
-is much handier, especially in winter, and when there is no fire in the
-great hall. I really see no use, except on occasions, for a fire in that
-great hall. It looks miserable, I dare say, but then the coal it
-consumes is enormous&mdash;enough to keep three families in the village
-comfortably warmed&mdash;and <i>we</i> keep no lackeys to lounge about there, and
-be in the way. A good respectable family servant, like Ellis, with
-plenty of maids, is much more to my taste than those great saucy
-fellows, who have not the heart of a mouse. But this is quite apart from
-what I was saying. Sarah had come down just the same as ever, except
-that she had her brown gown on,&mdash;she wears a different gown every day in
-the week,&mdash;and her muslin shawl lined with blue, and of course blue
-ribbons in her cap to correspond. Carson, after all, is really a
-wonderful milliner. She seemed to have forgotten, or at least passed
-over, our little quarrel, for she spoke just the same as usual, and
-said, as she always does, that she hoped that I would not forget to
-order the carriage for her drive. I have given over being nettled about
-this. She says it regularly, poor dear soul, every other day.</p>
-
-<p>“And little Sara is coming to-day,” said I. “You’ll take her for
-company, won’t you? It will do the child good.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do her good! why, Cresswell has a carriage!” said Sarah in her whisper;
-“beggars will ride before all’s done.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_17" id="page_17"></a>{17}</span></p>
-
-<p>“But he’s nothing of a beggar, quite the reverse; he’s very well-to-do,
-indeed,” said I. “I think he has a very good right to a one-horse
-chaise.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, to be sure, that makes all the difference,” said Sarah in her sharp
-way, “I forgot it was but one horse.”</p>
-
-<p>Now her voice, which is rather pleasant when she’s kind, gets a sort of
-hiss in it when she’s spiteful, and the sound of that “horse,” though I
-wouldn’t for the world say any harm of my sister, drew out all the
-hoarseness and unpleasant sound in the strangest way possible. I was
-quite glad to hear at that moment the wheels in the courtyard.</p>
-
-<p>“There is little Sara,” said I, and went off to fetch her in, very glad
-to get off, it must be confessed; but glad also, to be sure, to see my
-little pet, who had always taken so kindly to me. Before I could get to
-the door which Ellis was holding open, the dear child herself came
-rushing upon me, fairly driving me a few steps back, and taking away my
-breath. “You’re not to come into the draught, godmamma. It’s so cold,
-oh, it’s so cold! I thought my nose would be off,” cried Sara’s voice
-close to my ear. She was talking and kissing me at the same moment, and
-after the start she had given me, you may suppose, I did not pick up
-exactly every word she said. But that was the substance of it, to be
-sure.</p>
-
-<p>“Why didn’t you wear a veil? You ought to wear a veil, child. We were
-all supposed to have complexions when I was young,” said I. “Don’t you
-have any complexions, now, you little girls?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, godmamma! I don’t expect ever to hear you talking nonsense,” said
-Sara severely. “What’s the good of our complexions? We can’t do anything
-with them that I ever heard of. Come in from the draught, please, for
-the sake of your dear old nose.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are the rudest little girl I ever knew in my life. Go in, child, go
-in, and see your godmamma,” said I. “How ever do you manage that girl,
-Mr. Cresswell? Does she think I don’t know all the draughts in my own
-house?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, my dear lady, she’s contrairy. I told you so&mdash;she always was and
-ever will be,” said Mr. Cresswell, putting down his hat with a sigh.
-Dear, dear! the poor man certainly had his troubles with that little
-puss. Manage her, indeed! when, to be sure, as was natural, she made him
-do exactly just as she pleased.</p>
-
-<p>When we went in after her, he and I, there she was, to be sure, kneeling
-down on Sarah’s footstool, trying all she could<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_18" id="page_18"></a>{18}</span> to put my sister’s
-curls out of order with kissing her. If any one else had dared to do it!
-But Sara, who never since she was a baby feared any creature, had her
-way with her godmother as well as with all the rest of us. There’s a
-great deal in never being afraid.</p>
-
-<p>“Now, go up-stairs, and take off your bonnet, there’s a good child;
-there’s a fire in your room to warm it for puss in velvet. Go, and come
-down smooth and nice as your godmamma loves to see you. Dinner will be
-ready presently, and you must be nice for dinner. There, there, don’t
-talk any more, Sara, go and smooth your hair.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, certainly, and then you’ll see what’s happened!” cried Sara,
-and frisked off out of the room like a little puss as she was.</p>
-
-<p>I dare say the dear child expected nothing less than a great curiosity
-on my part about what had happened. Poor dear little kitten! she forgot
-that these little secrets were not such great matters to me. When she
-was gone we did not say a syllable about Sara; but her good father began
-to pull about the things on one of the tables behind the screen, and
-made signs to me with his eyebrows to come and talk to him. When I
-passed over that way he said quite softly, “Anything more?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not a word,” said I; for, to be sure, that about Sarah marrying if they
-would have let her was private, and even the family solicitor had
-nothing to do with it, though, I dare say if the truth were known, he
-knew all about it better than I did. “Not a word; only, I suppose, I
-should say he must be about her own age.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell glanced up at me, gave a short little smile, a nod of his
-head, and a shrug of his shoulders, and understood all about it as if I
-had told him.</p>
-
-<p>“Was in love with her once, of course&mdash;thought so!” he said in his
-undertone: “you ladies, for one good thing, do think on when we’ve made
-fools of ourselves about you. It’s always our compensation.”</p>
-
-<p>“We think on after you’ve forgotten all about it&mdash;that’s what you mean,”
-said I.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell gave another little shrug with his shoulders, and glanced
-at the screen behind which Sarah was knitting. “How lovely she was once,
-to be sure!” he said with a little sigh, and then laughed out at
-himself, not without a little redness in his face. To speak of a blush
-in a man of his years would be simply absurd, you know. Such a piece of
-presumption!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_19" id="page_19"></a>{19}</span> I do believe Bob Cresswell had taken it upon him to fall
-in love with Sarah too in his young days. I could have boxed his ears
-for him; and to think he should have the audacity to laugh at himself
-now!</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VI-a" id="Chapter_VI-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HIS</span> conversation of ours, if it could be called a conversation, was
-luckily interrupted by the entrance of little Sara, who came into the
-room, lightfooted and noiseless, as such creatures can when they are
-young. She had on a velvet jacket, over a thick-corded blue silk dress.
-She must have spent quite a fortune in dress, the little saucy puss.
-What startled me, however, was her hair. She had a beautiful head of
-hair, and wore it of course in the fashion, as all young girls ought.
-Some people were so misguided as to call Sara Cresswell
-dark-complexioned. They meant she had very dark hair, eyebrows, and
-eyelashes. As for her skin, it was as pure as Sarah’s, who had always
-been a blonde beauty. But with all the mass of hair she had, when she
-chose to spread it out and display it, and with her black eyes and small
-face, I don’t wonder people thought the little witch dark. However, all
-that was done away <i>now</i>. There she stood before me, laughing, and
-making her curtsey, with short little curls, like a child’s, scarcely
-long enough to reach to her collar&mdash;all her splendid hair gone&mdash;a
-regular crop! I screamed out, as may be supposed; I declare I could have
-whipped her with the very best will in the world. The provoking, wicked
-little creature! no wonder her poor father called her contrairy. Dear,
-dear, to think what odd arrangements there are in this world! <i>I</i> should
-have brought her under some sort of authority, I promise you; but
-really, not meaning to be profane, one was really tempted to say to
-one’s self, what <i>could</i> Providence be thinking of to give such a child
-to poor old Bob Cresswell, who knew no more how to manage her than I
-know how to steer a boat?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_20" id="page_20"></a>{20}</span></p>
-
-<p>“I declare I think you are very wicked,” I said when I gained my breath;
-“I do believe, Sara, you take a delight in vexing your friends. For all
-the world what good could it do to cut off your hair? Don’t speak to me,
-child! I declare I am so vexed and provoked and angry, I could cry!”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t cry, godmamma,” said Sara quite coolly, “or I’ll have it made up
-into a wig; you can’t fancy how nice it is now. Besides, what was the
-good of such a lot of hair? Don’t you know that’s what gives people
-headaches? I thought I had better be wise in time.”</p>
-
-<p>“You little storyteller!” cried I, “you never had a headache in your
-life.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, but prevention is better than cure,” said the wicked little
-creature with her very demurest look.</p>
-
-<p>“Dinner, Ma’am,” said Ellis at the door. It was just as well for Sara.
-But I had a great mind to pinch her, as Mr. Thackeray says the ladies
-do, when we went together to the dining-room. I am sure she deserved it.
-However, she did not escape a little pinch which touched her, brave as
-she was. Sarah, I suppose, had not taken the trouble to look at her till
-we were all seated at table. Then she looked up, quite ignorant of what
-had happened. Sarah did not start like me, nor scream out; but she
-looked at little Sara quite composedly, leaning forward to see her all
-round. When she had quite done, she folded her hands upon her napkin,
-and smiled. “What a shocking fright you have made of yourself, my dear
-child,” said Sarah with the most amiable look in the world. Little Sara
-coloured up in a moment, grew red and furious like a little vixen, and
-had something angry and wicked on the very tip of her tongue, which
-however, bold as she was, she dared not say. Mr. Cresswell ventured to
-give a little mutter and chuckle of a laugh, and how the little witch
-did look at him! But as for me, though I was glad to have her punished,
-I could not find in my heart to hear anything said against her without
-standing up in her defence.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, of course, I am very angry,” said I; “but I can’t say I agree
-with your godmamma either&mdash;it’s pretty enough for that matter.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, please, don’t take any trouble about my feelings. I never meant it
-to be pretty,” said little Sara, quite furious.</p>
-
-<p>“Nice hair is very much in a dark person’s favour. It helps the
-complexion and harmonises,” said Sarah, who kept always looking at the
-child in her smiling aggravating way. “People will soon notice the want
-of it in you, my dear. They will say<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_21" id="page_21"></a>{21}</span> you are very much gone off in your
-looks. It’s a pity you were so rash. It does make you a sad fright,
-whatever Milly says.”</p>
-
-<p>Now, only imagine how little Sara was to bear all this, spoken just in
-Sarah’s whisper, which made everybody, even Ellis, who was waiting,
-listen close to hear what she said. It was very seldom she said so many
-words in one day, not to say at one speaking. She began to eat her soup
-when she had done her pleasant remarks. And surely I never did remark
-before how odd the s’s sounded in her poor lost voice. Somehow they
-seemed to go hissing round the table, as if every word had an s in it.
-It was a round table, and not very large. Sarah never would do any
-carving, and I got tired of always doing it. So Ellis managed for us now
-on the sideboard, knowing foreign ways a little, and a small table
-suited us best.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, my dear lady, I wish you’d take her in hand,” said Mr. Cresswell
-(dear, dear! it is inconceivable how injudicious some people are!);
-“she’s too many for me.”</p>
-
-<p>“My opinion is,” said I, breaking in as well as I could, seeing that
-poor little Sara must come to an explosion if they kept it up, “that
-when a gentleman comes to visit two single ladies, he should let us know
-what’s going on in the world. Have you never a new curate at St. John’s
-to tell us of, and are all the officers just exactly as they used to be?
-You may all be very superior, you wise people. But I do love gossip, I
-am free to acknowledge. I heard your rector preached in his surplice
-last Sunday. How did you Evangelicals take that, Mr. Cresswell, eh? For
-my part, I can’t see where’s the harm in a surplice as you Low Church
-people do.”</p>
-
-<p>“You and I will never agree in that, Miss Milly,” said Mr. Cresswell;
-“though, indeed, if Dr. Roberts came into the pulpit in white, I’ve my
-own idea as to how you’d take it. However, not to speak of surplices,
-the red-coats are going, I hear. We’re to have a change. The Chestnuts
-are coming up from Scotland, and our men are ordered to the West Indies.
-The Colonel doesn’t like it a bit. It’s better for him in one way, but
-he’s getting to like a steady friendly little society, and not to care
-for moving. He’s getting up in years, like the rest of us, is the
-Colonel. This will tell on him, you’ll see.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, to be sure, when a man’s old, he ought to retire,” said I; “there
-are always plenty to take his place.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, it’s easy to talk,” said Mr. Cresswell. “It’s all very well for us
-to retire that have made money; but a man that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_22" id="page_22"></a>{22}</span> has only his pay, what
-is he to do? He has got that poor little widow-daughter of his to keep,
-and Fred is very unsettled, I’m afraid, and little comfort to his
-father. There’s a deal of difference, Miss Milly, between full-pay and
-half-pay. He’d have to cut down his living one half if he retired.”</p>
-
-<p>“That’s just exactly what I quarrel with in these grand times of ours,”
-said I; “what’s the harm of cutting down one’s living one half? My own
-opinion is, I’d respect a man very much that did it. Great people can do
-it somehow. I wish you luxurious middle-class people would learn the
-way. But then you don’t stand by each other when you fall into poverty.
-You drop your friend when he can’t ask you to dinner. You are good to
-his children, and patronise them, and forget they were just the same as
-yours a little while ago. I don’t think we’ll ever come to any good in
-this country till we get back to knowing how to be poor.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear lady, England never was in such splendid condition,” said Mr.
-Cresswell, with a smile at my ignorance. “If we’ve forgotten how to
-save, we’ve learned how to grow rich.”</p>
-
-<p>“I know all about England,” said I; “we read the Times; don’t you tell
-me. I’m anything but easy about England. Making money is no substitute
-in the world for saving it. I tell you, the world won’t be what I call
-right till a gentleman may be as poor as God pleases, without being
-ashamed of it; and have the heart to cut down his living one-half too.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, well Miss Milly, ladies are always optimists,” said Mr.
-Cresswell; “but I shouldn’t like to be poor myself, nor see Sara tried
-with economics. <i>She</i> don’t understand anything about them, that’s
-sure.”</p>
-
-<p>“The more’s the pity. What if she should marry a poor man?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“She <i>shan’t</i> marry a poor man, my dear lady,” said Mr. Cresswell.</p>
-
-<p>Upon which Sara lighted up. I knew she would. The dear child would do
-anything out of contradiction.</p>
-
-<p>“Rather a poor one than a rich one, papa,” cried Sara, with a little
-start of opposition. “Godmamma is always quite right. It’s shocking how
-everybody worships rich people. If we were to live in a little cottage,
-now, and make a dozen poor people comfortable! instead of always living
-in that dull old house, and having the same chairs and tables, and
-looking at exactly the same things every day. Godmamma! I do so want my
-room fresh papered. I know every tint of that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_23" id="page_23"></a>{23}</span> pattern, till it makes me
-quite ill to look at it. Wouldn’t it be a thousand times more reasonable
-and like a Christian, if papa would stop giving stupid dinners, and
-taking me to stupid parties, and divide all his money with, say, a dozen
-poor families, and live in a sweet country cottage? It isn’t enough for
-us, you know, to make us great people. But it would be quite enough to
-give us all plenty to live upon, the dozen others and ourselves as well.
-Don’t you think it would be a great deal more like what a man should do,
-than keeping all one’s money to one’s self, like papa?”</p>
-
-<p>Little Sara grew quite earnest, and her eyes sparkled as she spoke. Her
-father laughed inwardly under his breath, and thought it just one of her
-vagaries. She divide all her money with her neighbours, the extravagant
-little puss in velvet! But don’t suppose Sara was shamming. She was as
-thoughtless and as prodigal as ever a child was who knew no better. But
-for all that, she could have done it. She could have found out how to do
-it. She meant what she said.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VII-a" id="Chapter_VII-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“B</span><span class="smcap">UT</span> you are a very foolish, thoughtless, provoking little puss; there
-can’t be any mistake about it,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing of the sort, godmamma,” said Sara, “such a quantity of time was
-always taken up with that hair of mine; it had to be brushed out at
-night, however sleepy I was, and it had to be done I don’t know how many
-times a day. Think of wasting hours of one’s time upon one’s hair!”</p>
-
-<p>“But, my dear child, you have too much time on your hands. Do you ever
-do anything in the world, you velvet kitten,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“If it was anybody else but you, I should be angry, godmamma,” said
-Sara; “but, indeed, I have tried a quantity of things. As for working,
-you know I <i>won’t</i> work&mdash;I tell everybody<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_24" id="page_24"></a>{24}</span> so plainly. What’s the good
-of it? I hate crochet and cushions and footstools. If I had some little
-children to keep all tidy, there would be some good in it; or if papa
-was poor I might mend his stockings&mdash;but I won’t work now, whatever
-anybody says.”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t see any reason why you should not keep some little children
-tidy, or mend papa’s stockings either, if you would like it,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“If I would <i>like</i> it!” cried Sara, in high wrath and indignation, “as
-if that was why I should do it! I don’t think there can be anything more
-dreadful in life than always having to do just what one likes. Now, look
-here, godmamma; suppose I was to mend papa’s stockings because I liked
-it,&mdash;oh, how Mary would giggle and laugh and rejoice over me! She <i>has</i>
-to do it, and doesn’t like it a bit, you may be sure. And suppose I were
-making frocks for poor children, like the Dorcas society, wouldn’t all
-the sensible people be on me to say how very much better it would be to
-have poor women make them and pay them for their work? I could only do
-what it’s other people’s business to do. I have got no business. The
-best thing wanted of me is just to sit idle from morning to night and
-read novels; and nobody understands me either, not even my dear old
-godmamma, which is hardest of all.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, Sara, if you chose, you could do <i>good</i>; the best thing of all to
-do&mdash;you could&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh stop, stop, godmamma! I can’t do good. I don’t want to do good. I
-hate going about and talking to people; and besides, they are all, every
-one of them,” said Sara, with tears, half of vexation and half of
-sorrow, sparkling in her eyes, “a great deal better than me.”</p>
-
-<p>I had not a single word to say against this; for indeed, though I said
-it, because of course it was the right thing to say, I can’t undertake,
-upon my honour, that I thought a spoiled child like Sara Cresswell was
-the kind of creature to be much comfort to poor men or poor women
-labouring hard in the sorrows of this life.</p>
-
-<p>“I went once with Miss Fielding from the Rectory. There was one house,”
-said Sara, speaking low and getting red, “where they hadn’t so much to
-live on for the whole year through as papa had to pay for my
-dressmaker’s bill. He had just been worrying me about it that morning,
-so I remember. But they weren’t miserable! no more than you are,
-godmamma! not one half, nor a quarter, nor a hundredth part so miserable
-as I am! And the woman looked so cheerful and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_25" id="page_25"></a>{25}</span> <i>right</i> with the baby in
-her arms, and all the cleaning to do&mdash;I cried and ran off home when I
-got out of that house. I was ashamed, just dead ashamed, godmamma, and
-nothing else.&mdash;Doing good!&mdash;oh!&mdash;I think if I were the little girl,
-coming in to hold the baby, and help to clean, I might get some good
-myself. But then nobody will understand me whatever I say. I don’t want
-to invent things to ‘employ my time.’ Employing one’s time is about as
-bad as improving one’s mind. I want to have something <i>real</i> to do,
-something that <i>has</i> to be done and nobody but me to do it; and I don’t
-mind in the least whether I should like it or not.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, dear,” said I, “you’re not nineteen yet; plenty of time. I dare
-say you’ll have your hard work some day or other, and won’t like it any
-more than the rest of us. Have patience, it will all come in time.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then, I suppose,” said Sara, with a little toss of her provoking little
-head, “I had better just go to sleep till that time comes.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, my love, papa would save a good deal, no doubt, if there were no
-dressmaker’s bills. You inconsistent little witch! Here you tell me how
-disgusted you are with being a rich man’s daughter and having nothing to
-do, yet you cut off your hair to save time, and go on quite composedly
-spending as much as would keep a poor family&mdash;and more than one poor
-family, I suspect&mdash;on your dressmaker’s bill. Little Sara, what do you
-mean?”</p>
-
-<p>“The two things have no connection,” said Sara, tossing her head again;
-“I never pretended that I wanted to save papa’s money. What’s the good
-of it? I like pretty things to wear, and I don’t care the very least in
-the world how much money papa has in the bank, or wherever he keeps it.
-He told me once it was my own means I was wasting, for, of course, it
-would be all mine when he died,” she went on, her eyes twinkling with
-proud tears and wounded feeling; “as if <i>that</i> made any difference! But
-I’ll tell you what, godmamma. If he was to portion out all the money to
-ourselves and so many other people, just enough to live upon, you’d see
-how happy I should be in muslin frocks. I know I should! and keep
-everything so snug and nice at home.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you deluded little child!” said I; “don’t you know there’s ever so
-much <i>nasty</i> work to do, before everything can be nice as we always have
-it? Should you like to be a housemaid with your little velvet paws, you
-foolish little kitten? You don’t know what you’re saying.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_26" id="page_26"></a>{26}</span></p>
-
-<p>“But I do, though&mdash;and I could scratch too,” said the wild little puss,
-with a glance out of her black eyes which confounded me. I thought the
-child had gone out of her wits altogether. No wonder her poor father
-called her contrairy, poor hapless man.</p>
-
-<p>This conversation took place after dinner, when we two went back to the
-drawing-room. Mr. Cresswell had returned to Chester in his brougham, and
-Sarah had gone out all by herself for her drive. Perhaps little Sara,
-after being so aggravated at dinner, would not have gone with my sister
-even had she been asked; but her godmamma did not ask her. Dear, dear,
-what a very strange world this is! Poor Sarah chose to go out alone,
-driving drearily through the winterly trees and hedges; she chose always
-to turn aside from the village, which might have been a little cheerful,
-and she never dreamt of calling anywhere, poor soul! I have lived a
-quiet life enough, but I could not get on without a smile here and a
-word there, and the sight of my fellow-creatures at least. However, I
-have no call to censure neighbours, much less my sister. This is how
-Sara Cresswell and I had time for our long conversation. I broke it off
-short now, thinking it was about time for Sarah to come in.</p>
-
-<p>“Now little Sara,” said I, “we’ll drop the question what you’re to do as
-a general question just now; but your godmamma will be in directly. What
-shall you do while you’re here? Should you like to come and set my
-papers straight? It’s nice, tiresome, sickening work. It always gives me
-a headache, but I can’t trust a servant to do it. I think it’s the very
-work for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, dear godmamma, here’s a novel,” said Sara, who was sunk deep in an
-easy-chair, and had not the very slightest intention of obeying me,
-“just the very one I wanted, and I see by the first chapter that Emily
-is my own very favourite heroine. I’ll do it to-morrow,
-please&mdash;to-morrow morning, not to-day.”</p>
-
-<p>“But it must be done to-day.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, <i>must</i>! why <i>must</i>? You have only to do what you please&mdash;you are
-not obliged to keep time like a dressmaker or a clerk,” said Sara,
-reading all the while.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, you child!” said I; “suppose papa’s dinner was waiting, or his
-stockings to mend, would you let them stand till you had finished your
-novel? Oh, you deluded little thing, is that the good workwoman you
-would be?”</p>
-
-<p>Before I had finished speaking Sara had started like a little<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_27" id="page_27"></a>{27}</span> sprite
-out of her chair, tossed the novel into the corner of a distant sofa,
-and went off like the wind to the library, where I did my business and
-kept my papers. I had to hurry after her as quickly as I could. A pretty
-job she would have made of it, had she done it alone!</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VIII-a" id="Chapter_VIII-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span><span class="smcap">F</span> there is one thing I dislike more than another, it is the housemaid,
-or even Ellis, meddling with my papers. I don’t scold a great deal, in a
-general way, but I will allow that I don’t spare any of them when they
-flutter my accounts and receipts about in setting things to rights. So
-in the course of nature the things get dusty; and I quite expected to
-see poor little Sara grow pale and give in before she was half through
-the year’s accounts. But nobody knows the spirit that is in that child.
-After she had once roused herself to do it, she held at it without an
-idea of yielding. I saw her look now and again at her little toys of
-hands, but I took no notice; and on she went at the papers manfully,
-putting them in as regular order as I could have done myself. It was not
-such a very important business after all, but still it’s a comfort to
-see a person set to anything with a will, especially a little spoilt
-wilful creature that never had anything to do but her own pleasure all
-her life.</p>
-
-<p>Nearly an hour after we had come into the library somebody came with a
-gentle knock to the door; thinking it was Ellis, I said, “Come in,”
-without looking up, waiting for him to speak. But while I sat quietly
-going on with my business, with Sara close by rustling her papers, I was
-quite startled and shaken all at once to hear a voice close by me which
-I did not hear half a dozen times in a twelvemonth, the voice of Carson,
-Sarah’s maid.</p>
-
-<p>“Bless me, what’s the matter?” I said, looking up at the sound, being
-really too much startled to notice what she said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_28" id="page_28"></a>{28}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Nothing, I hope, ma’am,” said Carson, who was very precise and
-particular. “But my missis is not come in, ma’am, from her drive, and I
-thought I’d make bold to ask if she was going anywhere as I didn’t
-know?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sarah not come back from her drive?” said I, looking at my watch; “why,
-we’ve had lights this half hour, Carson; it’s getting towards five
-o’clock.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, ma’am,” said Carson, briefly, not allowing for my surprise, “that
-is just what I said.”</p>
-
-<p>This pulled me up a little, as you may suppose; but I was seriously put
-out about Sarah, when I really saw how the matter stood.</p>
-
-<p>“I know nothing about where she was going. Dear, dear, can anything have
-happened?” I cried, getting a little flustered and anxious; then I
-jumped up, as was natural, and looked out at the window; though of
-course nothing was to be seen there but the shrubbery and a corner of
-the flower-garden. “But I can’t think what <i>could</i> have happened either.
-The horses are very steady, and Jacob is care itself; besides, we’d have
-heard directly if anything had gone wrong. No, no, there can’t have been
-any accident. My sister was just in her usual, Carson, eh?”</p>
-
-<p>“Just in her usual ma’am,” said Carson, like an echo of my voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Then, dear, what can be the matter? it’s only some accident, of
-course,” said I; “I don’t mean accident, only some chance turn out of
-the way, or something. Bless me, to think of Sarah out after nightfall!
-Why don’t you run out to the road and look for the carriage? Call some
-of the people about. Ring the bell, child, can’t you?&mdash;or no, sit still,
-Sara. I’ll take a peep out at the great gate myself.”</p>
-
-<p>Saying which, I hurried past Carson, brushing against her, as she did
-not keep out of my way, and snatched a cloak out of the hall, and ran to
-the gate. It was only twilight out of doors, though we had our lamp
-lighted. A nice night, grey, a little frosty, but rather pleasant, with
-the lights twinkling out of the windows. I said to myself, “Nothing I
-should like better than a brisk walk down to the village; but Sarah, you
-know&mdash;Sarah’s different.” What could keep her out so late? I can’t say I
-was alarmed, but I did get a little uneasy, especially as I saw Ellis
-making his way up one road from the gate of the courtyard, and the
-houseboy running down another. It was Carson’s doings, no doubt; well,
-well! I ought to be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_29" id="page_29"></a>{29}</span> thankful my sister had a maid that was so fond of
-her; but taking things out of my hands in this way, not only made me
-angry, as was natural, but flurried me as well.</p>
-
-<p>As I stood there, however, watching, and thinking I surely heard a sound
-of wheels somewhere in the distance, somebody went past me very
-suddenly. I could not see where he sprang from, he appeared in such a
-sudden unexplainable way. I got quite a fright, and, except that he was
-a gentleman, and probably a young one, I could tell nothing more about
-the figure that shot across my eyes. Very odd; could he have been hiding
-in the bushes? What could he want? Who could it be? I certainly hear the
-carriage now, and there comes the houseboy up the road waving his arms
-about; but instead of looking for my sister, I looked after this figure
-that had passed me. It passed Ellis too, and looked in his face, making
-him start, as it appeared to me, and so went straight on, till the road
-turned and I could see it no longer. I felt quite as if I had met with
-an adventure. Could it be some lover of little Sara’s that had followed
-her out here?&mdash;or, dear, dear! could it have anything to do with
-delaying Sarah’s drive? Just then the carriage came in sight, and I ran
-back to the house-door to receive my sister and ask what had detained
-her. She stepped out of the carriage, looking paler than her ordinary,
-and with that nervous shake in her hands and head, and looked as if she
-could quite have clutched hold of Carson, who of course was there to
-receive her.</p>
-
-<p>“Sarah,” cried I, “what in all the world has kept you so long? We were
-at our wits’ end, thinking something had happened.”</p>
-
-<p>“You’ll be glad to see nothing has happened,” said Sarah, in her
-whisper, trying hard to be quite composed and like herself as she took
-hold of Carson’s arm. “The beauty of the evening, you know, drew me a
-little further than I generally go.”</p>
-
-<p>This she said looking into my face, nay, into my eyes all the time, as
-if to defy any suspicions or doubt I might have. Her very determination
-to show that there was no other reason, made it quite evident that there
-had been something, whatever it was.</p>
-
-<p>I said nothing of course. I had not the least idea what my own
-suspicions pointed at, nor what they were. So it was not likely I should
-make any scene, or put it into the servants’ heads to wonder. So I stood
-still and asked no more questions, while Sarah passed before me, leaning
-on Carson’s<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_30" id="page_30"></a>{30}</span> arm, to go upstairs. It was the most simple and reasonable
-thing in the world; why should she not have gone further than she
-intended one night in her life? But she did not, that is all.</p>
-
-<p>When I went back to the library, little Sara, extraordinary to relate,
-was sitting exactly where I left her, busy about the papers. The wilful
-creature did not seem to have moved during my absence. She was as busy
-and absorbed as if there was nothing else to do or think of in the
-world. And while we had been all of a flutter looking for Sarah, she,
-sitting quiet and undisturbed, had got the greater part of her work
-finished.</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, you unfeeling child,” said I, “were you not anxious about your
-godmamma?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Sara, very simply. “Godmamma Sarah, and coachman Jacob, and
-those two fat old horses could surely all take care of each other. I
-wasn’t frightened, godmamma. I never heard of any accidents happening to
-big old stout carriages and horses like yours. I’ve nearly got my work
-done while you’ve been away.”</p>
-
-<p>This was all the sympathy I got from little Sara. Of course I could no
-more have told her the puzzle my mind was in than I could have told the
-servants; but still, you know, an intelligent young person might have
-guessed by my looks and been a little sympathetic;&mdash;though to be sure
-there is no use pretending with one’s self. I do believe I liked Sara
-twenty times better for taking no notice;&mdash;and then, how cleverly the
-little kitten had got through her work!</p>
-
-<p>We saw nothing more of Sarah that night. When it was time for tea,
-Carson came down again with missus’s compliments, and she was tired with
-her long drive, and would have tea in her own room. I said nothing at
-all, but handed her the Times. I don’t doubt Sarah had her tea very snug
-in her nice cosy dressing-room, with Carson purring round her and
-watching every move she made. I never could manage that sort of thing
-for my part. Little Sara and I, however, though her godmamma deserted
-us, were very comfortable, on the whole, downstairs.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_31" id="page_31"></a>{31}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IX-a" id="Chapter_IX-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IX.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span><span class="smcap">E</span> had both been reading almost all the evening. Sara had her novel, and
-I had the Times Supplement, which I am free to confess I like as well as
-any other part of the paper. I will not deny that I finished the third
-volume before I began to the newspaper; but, to be sure, a novel, after
-you are done with it, is an unsatisfactory piece of work; especially if
-the evening is only half over, and you have nothing else to begin to. I
-sat leaning back in my chair, wandering over the advertisements, and
-very ready for a talk. That is just the time, to be sure, when one wants
-somebody to talk to. If I had ever been used to the luxury of a
-favourite maid when I was young, as Sarah was, I do believe I should
-have been in my own cosy room now as well as Sarah, talking everything
-over with <i>my</i> Carson. But that is not the way I was brought up, you
-see. To be sure, as there was ten years of difference between us, nobody
-had ever looked for me, and Sarah had got quite settled in her heiress
-ways before I was born. When I was young, I used to think it a sad pity
-for everybody’s sake that I ever was born, especially after my mother
-died; however, I changed my views upon that subject a good many years
-ago. Yet here I sat looking all over the advertisements, and keeping an
-eye on Sara to see if there was any hope of getting a little
-conversation out of her. Alas! she was all lapped up and lost in her
-novel. She thought no more of me than of Sarah’s empty chair. Ah! novels
-are novels when people are young. I looked at the poor dear child, and
-admired and smiled at her over the top of the newspaper. If I had been a
-cabbage, Sara could not have taken less notice of me.</p>
-
-<p>At last she suddenly exclaimed out loud&mdash;at something she was reading,
-of course&mdash;“I declare!” as if she had made a discovery, and then stopped
-short and looked up at me with a sort of challenge, as if defying me to
-guess what she was thinking of. Then, seeing how puzzled I looked, Sara
-laughed, but reddened a little as well, to my amazement; and finally,
-not without the least little touch of confusion, explained herself. To
-be sure it was quite voluntary, and yet a little unwilling too.</p>
-
-<p>“There’s something here exactly like the Italian gentleman; he that
-people talk so much about in Chester, you know.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_32" id="page_32"></a>{32}</span></p>
-
-<p>“I never knew there was an Italian gentleman in Chester. What a piece of
-news! and you never told me,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“He only came about a fortnight ago,” said Sara. “It looks quite
-romantic, you know, godmamma, which is the only reason <i>I</i> have heard
-anything about it. He came quite in great style to the Angel, and said
-he was coming to see some friends, and asked all about whether anybody
-knew where the Countess Sermoneta lived. You may be quite sure nobody
-had ever heard of such a name in Chester. I heard it all from Lucy
-Wilde, who had heard it from her brother, who is always playing
-billiards and things at the Angel&mdash;Harry Wilde&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“That is the poor young man who&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, dear godmamma, don’t bother! let one go on with one’s story. Harry
-Wilde says the Italian came down among them, asking everybody about this
-Countess Sermoneta, and looking quite bewildered when he found that
-nobody knew her; but still he was quite lively, and thought it must be
-some mistake, and laughed, and made sure that this was really <i>Chestare</i>
-he had come to, and not any other place. But next day, people say, he
-sent for the landlord and asked all about the families in the
-neighbourhood, and all of a sudden grew quite grave and serious, and
-soon after took lodgings in Watergate, and has been seen going about the
-streets and the walls so much since that everybody knows him. He speaks
-English quite well&mdash;people say so, I mean&mdash;and he has a servant with
-him, the funniest-looking fat fellow you ever saw; no more like a proper
-Italian servant in a play or a novel than I am; and he calls himself
-just Mr. Luigi; and that, of course, you know, must be only his
-Christian name.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nay, indeed, Sara, I don’t know anything about it. There is nothing at
-all Christianlike in the name, so far as I can see.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well then, <i>I</i> know, godmamma, which is all the same,” cried the
-impatient little creature; “but then, to be sure, our old Signor Valetti
-used to tell us they never minded their family names in Italy; and that
-people might be next-door neighbours for ever so long and never know
-each other’s surnames. Isn’t it pretty? especially when they have pretty
-Christian names, as all the Italians have.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear, if you think Looegee pretty, I don’t,” said I. “Take my word
-for it, there is nothing like the sensible English names. I’ve had a
-good deal of experience, and I don’t like your romantic foreigners. For
-my part, I don’t like<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_33" id="page_33"></a>{33}</span> people that have a story. People have no right to
-have stories, child. If you do your duty honestly, and always tell the
-truth, and never conceal anything, you can’t get up a romance about
-yourself. As for this Italian fellow and his name&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t believe he’s a fellow any more than you are, godmamma,” cried
-Sara, quite indignantly; “people should know before they condemn; and
-his name is just plain Lewis when it’s put into English. I did not think
-you were so prejudiced, indeed I did not&mdash;or I never would have told you
-anything at all about the poor count&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Heaven preserve us! he’s a count, is he?” said I. “And what do you know
-about him, Sara Cresswell, please, that you would quarrel with your own
-godmother for his sake?”</p>
-
-<p>Sara did not speak for a few minutes, looking very flushed and angry. At
-last, after a good fight with herself, she started up and threw her arms
-round my neck. “Dear godmamma, I wouldn’t quarrel with you for anybody
-in the world,” cried the little impulsive creature. Then she stopped and
-gave a little toss of her head. “But whatever anybody says, I know it’s
-<i>quite</i> right to feel kind to the poor Italian gentleman, a stranger,
-and solitary, and disappointed! I do wonder at your people,
-godmamma&mdash;you people who pretend to do what’s in the Bible. You’re just
-as hard upon strangers and as ready to take up a prejudice as anybody
-else.”</p>
-
-<p>“I never pretended not to be prejudiced,” said I; “it’s natural to a
-born Englishwoman. And as for your foreign counts, that come sneaking
-into people’s houses to marry their daughters and run off with the
-money&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if it is that you are thinking of, godmamma,” cried Sara with great
-dignity, sitting quite bolt upright in her chair, “you are totally
-mistaken, I assure you. I never spoke to the gentleman in my life; and
-besides,” she went on, getting very red and vehement, “I never will
-marry anybody, I have quite made up my mind; so, if you please,
-godmamma, whatever you choose to say about poor Mr. Luigi, <i>whom you
-don’t know anything about</i>, I hope you will be good enough not to draw
-me into any stupid story about marrying&mdash;I quite hate talk of that
-kind.”</p>
-
-<p>I was so thunderstruck that I quite called out&mdash;“You impertinent little
-puss,” said I, “is that how you dare to talk to your godmother!” I
-declare I do not think I ever was put down so all my life before. I gave
-her a good sound lecture, as anybody will believe, about the proper
-respect she owed to her friends and seniors, telling her that I was very
-much afraid<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_34" id="page_34"></a>{34}</span> she was in a bad way; and that, however her father, who
-spoiled her, might let her talk, she ought to know better than to set up
-her little saucy face like that in our house. I said a great deal to the
-little provoking creature. I am sure she never saw me so angry before,
-though she has been a perfect plague and tease all her days. But do you
-think she would give in, and say she was sorry? Not if it had been to
-save her life! She sat looking down on her book, opening and shutting it
-upon her hand, her little delicate nostril swelling, her red upper lip
-moving, her foot going pat-pat on the carpet, but never owning to be in
-the wrong or making the least apology. After I had done and taken up my
-paper again, pretending to be very busy with it, she got up and rummaged
-out the other volume of the novel, and came to me to say good-night,
-holding out her hand and stooping down her cheek, meaning me to kiss
-her, the saucy little puss! As she was in my house, and a guest, and her
-first night, I did kiss her, without looking at her. It was a regular
-quarrel; and so she too went off to her own room. So here I was all
-alone, very angry, and much disposed to launch out upon the servants or
-somebody. Contrairy indeed! I should think so! I wonder how that poor
-old Bob Cresswell can put up with his life. If she were mine I would
-send her off to school, for all so accomplished as they say she is.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_X-a" id="Chapter_X-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter X.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">HAD</span> not a very good night after these troubles: somehow one’s sleep
-goes from one more easily when one grows old; and I kept dreaming all
-the night through of my sister and little Sara, and something they were
-concealing from me, mixing them both up together in my mind. I rose very
-uneasy and excited, not a bit refreshed, as one should feel in the
-morning. One thing very strange I have noticed all my life in dreams.
-Though never a single <i>thing</i> that one dreams<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_35" id="page_35"></a>{35}</span> should ever come true,
-the feeling one has comes true somehow. I don’t know whether anybody
-will understand me. I have had friends in my young days, whom I thought
-a great deal upon, that did not prove true to me. And I have remarked,
-often long before I found them out, however fond or trustful in them I
-was through the day, I was always uneasy in my dreams, always finding
-out something wrong or meeting some unkindness&mdash;which makes me have a
-great confidence, not in what you would call <i>dreams</i>, you know, but in
-the sentiment of dreams, if you can understand what I mean. I woke up
-very unrefreshed, as I say; and got dressed and came downstairs as soon
-as it was daylight, though I knew well enough I should find nobody
-there. My sister always breakfasted in her own room, and Sara was late
-of coming down at the best of times; however, I got some letters about
-business, which were perhaps the best things I could have had. They put
-me off minding my quarrel with little Sara, or trying to find out what
-had kept Sarah so late on her drive.</p>
-
-<p>I had nearly finished breakfast when little Sara came downstairs. She
-came up to me just as she had done the night before, holding out her
-hand and stooping down her cheek to be kissed, but not looking at me. I
-kissed her, the provoking puss, and poured out her coffee. And after ten
-minutes or so we got on chatting just as usual, which was a relief to
-me, for I don’t like apologies and explanations. I never could bear
-them. Little Sara, after she had got over feeling a little awkward and
-stiff, as people always do when they have been wrong, was just in her
-ordinary. She was used to affront people and to have them come to again,
-the little wicked creature&mdash;I am afraid she did not mind.</p>
-
-<p>This little quarrel had put Sarah a good deal out of my mind, I must
-allow, but I got back to being anxious about her directly when I saw her
-come down-stairs. I can’t tell what the change upon her was&mdash;she did not
-look older or paler, or anything that you could put plainly in
-words&mdash;she was just as particularly dressed, and had her silver-white
-curls as nice, and her cap as pretty as usual, but she was not the same
-as she had been yesterday; certainly there was some change. Not to speak
-of that little nervous motion of her head and hands, which was greater
-to-day than ever I had seen it, there was a strange vigilance and
-watchfulness in her look which I don’t remember to have ever seen there
-before. She looked me very full in the face, I remember with a sort of
-daring defying openness, and the same to little Sara, though, of course
-what<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_36" id="page_36"></a>{36}</span> could the child know? All over, down to her very hands, as she
-went on with her knitting, there was a kind of self-consciousness that
-had a very odd effect upon me. I could not tell what in the world to
-think of it. And as for supposing that some mere common little accident,
-or a fright, or anything outside of herself, had woke her up to that
-look, you need not tell me. I have not lived fifty years in this world
-for nothing. I knew better. Whatever it was that changed Sarah’s look,
-the causes of it were deep down and secret in herself.</p>
-
-<p>It was this of course that made me anxious and almost alarmed, for I
-could not but think she must have something on her mind to make her look
-so. And when she beckoned to me that afternoon after dinner, as she did
-when she had anything particular to say, I confess my heart went thump
-against my breast, and I trembled all over. However, I went close up as
-usual, and drew my chair towards her that I might hear. Little Sara was
-close by. She could hear too if she pleased, but Sarah took no notice of
-the child.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you heard anything from Cresswell about Richard Mortimer?” Sarah
-asked me quite sharply all at once.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, no: he did not say anything yesterday when he was here. Did <i>you</i>
-have any conversation with him?”</p>
-
-<p>“<i>I!</i> Do I have any conversation with any one?” said Sarah, in her
-bitter way. “I want you to bestir yourself about this business, however.
-We must have an heir.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is odd how little I have thought about it since that day&mdash;very odd,”
-said I; “and I was quite in earnest before. I wondered if Providence
-might, maybe, have taken it up now? I have seen such a thing: one falls
-off one’s anxiety somehow, one can’t tell how; and lo! the reason is,
-that the thing’s coming about all naturally without any help from you.
-We’ll be having the heir dropped down at the park gates some of these
-days, all as right and natural as ever was.”</p>
-
-<p>I said this without thinking much about it; just because it was an idea
-of mine, that most times, when God lays a kind of lull upon our
-anxieties and struggles, it really turns out to be because He himself is
-taking them in hand; but having said this easy and calm, without
-anything particular in my mind, you may judge how I was startled half
-out of my wits by Sarah dashing down her knitting-pin out of her hand,
-stamping her foot on the footstool, and half screaming out in her sharp,
-strangled whisper, that sounded like the very voice of rage itself&mdash;
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_37" id="page_37"></a>{37}</span>
-“The fool! the fool! oh, the fool! Shall I be obliged to leave my home
-and my seclusion and do it myself? I that might have been so different!
-Good God! shall <i>I</i> be obliged to do it&mdash;<i>me</i>! When I was a young girl I
-might have hoped to die a duchess,&mdash;everybody said so,&mdash;and now, instead
-of being cared for and shielded from the envious world,&mdash;people were
-always envious of me since ever I remember,&mdash;must I go trudging out to
-find this wretched cousin? Is this all the gratitude and natural feeling
-you have? Good heaven! to put such a thing upon me!”</p>
-
-<p>She stopped, all panting and breathless, like a wild creature that had
-relieved itself somehow with a yell or a cry; but, strange, strange, at
-that moment Ellis opened the door. I will never think again she does not
-hear. The sound caught her in a moment. Her passion changed into that
-new watching look quicker than I can tell; and she sat with her eyes
-fixed upon me,&mdash;for, poor soul, to be sure she could not see through the
-screen behind her to find out what Ellis came for,&mdash;as if she could have
-killed me for the least motion. I got so excited myself that I could
-hardly see the name on the card Ellis brought in. Sarah’s looks, not to
-say her words, had put it so clearly in my mind that something was going
-to happen, that my self-possession almost forsook me. I let the card
-flutter down out of my hand when I lifted it off the tray, and did not
-hear a single syllable of what the man was saying till he had repeated
-it all twice over. It was only a neighbour who had sent over to ask for
-Miss Mortimer, having heard somehow that Sarah was poorly. She heard him
-herself, however, and gave an answer&mdash;her compliments, and she was quite
-well&mdash;before I knew what it was all about. If she had boxed me well she
-could not have muddled my head half so much as she had done now. When
-Ellis went away again, and left me alone close by her, I quite shook in
-my chair.</p>
-
-<p>But she had got over her rage as it seemed. She stooped down to pick up
-her knitting-pin&mdash;with a little pettish exclamation that nobody helped
-her now-a-days&mdash;just in her usual way, and took up the dropt stitches in
-her knitting. But I could very well see that her hand trembled. As she
-did not say any more, I thought I might venture to draw back my chair.
-But when she saw the motion she started, looked up at me, and held up
-her hand. I was not to get so easily away.</p>
-
-<p>“I had no idea you minded it so much. Well, well, Sarah,” cried I, in
-desperation, “I will write this moment to urge Mr. Cresswell on.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_38" id="page_38"></a>{38}</span></p>
-
-<p>“And shout it all out, please, that the child may hear!” said Sarah,
-with a spiteful look as if she could bite me. I was actually afraid of
-her. I got up as fast as I could, and went off to the writing-table at
-the other end of the room. There was nothing I would not do to please
-her in a rational way; but, of all the vagaries she ever took up before,
-what did this dreadful passion mean?</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XI-a" id="Chapter_XI-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> next day I had something to do in the village, which was only about
-half a mile from the Park gates; but little Sara, when I asked her to go
-with me, had got some piece of business to her fancy in the greenhouse,
-and was not disposed to leave it, so I went off by myself. I went in, as
-I passed the lodge, to ask for little Mary Williams, who had a cough
-which I quite expected would turn to hooping-cough, though her mother
-would not believe it (I turned out to be right, of course). Mrs.
-Williams was rather in a way, poor body, that morning. Mary was worse
-and worse, with a flushed face and shocking cough, and nothing would
-please her mother but that it was inflammation, and the child would die.
-It is quite the strangest thing in the world, among those sort of
-people, how soon they make up their minds that their children are to
-die. I scolded her well, which did her good, and promised her the
-liniment we always have for hooping-cough, and said I should bring up a
-picture-book for the child (it’s a good little thing when it is well)
-from the new little shop in the village. This opened up, as I found out,
-quite a new phase of poor Williams’ trouble.</p>
-
-<p>“I wouldn’t encourage it ma’am, no sure, I wouldn’t, not for a hundred
-picture-books. I wouldn’t go for to set up them as ’tices men out of
-their houses and lads fro’ home. No! I seen enough of that when poor old
-Williams was alive, and we was all in Liverpool. It’s all as one as the
-public-houses, ma’am. I can’t see no difference. Williams, it was his
-chapell; and the boy, it’s his night-school and his reading. I don’t see
-no good<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_39" id="page_39"></a>{39}</span> of it. In the old man’s time, many’s the weary night I’ve sat
-by mysel’ mending their bits o’ things, and never a soul to cheer me up;
-and now, look’ee here, the boy’s tooken to it; and if I’m to lose
-Mary&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“You ridiculous woman,” cried I, while the poor creature fell sobbing
-and took to her apron, “what’s to make you lose Mary? The child’s going
-in for hooping-cough, as sure ever child was, and I see no reason in the
-world why she shouldn’t get over it nicely, with the spring coming on as
-well. Don’t fret; trouble comes soon enough without going out of the way
-to meet it. What’s all this story you’ve been telling me about poor
-Willie, and the shop in the village, and the night-school? Don’t you
-know, you foolish woman, the night-school may be the making of the boy?”</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know nothink about it, ma’am, nor I don’t want to know,” said
-our liberal-minded retainer. “I know it takes the boy out o’ the house
-most nights in the week; and I sits a-thinking upon my troubles, and
-listening to all the sounds in the trees, sometimes moidered and
-sometimes scared. I’d clear away thankful any night, even washing night,
-when I’m folding for the mangle, to have him write his copy at home; and
-have a hearth-stone for him, though I say it as shouldn’t, as bright as
-a king’s. But he’s a deal grander nor the like o’ that, he is&mdash;he’ll
-stay and read the papers and talk. Bother their talk and their papers! I
-ask you, ma’am, wouldn’t Willie be a deal better at home?”</p>
-
-<p>“I shouldn’t say but what I might perhaps think so too,” said I; “but
-then the gentlemen say not, and they should know best.”</p>
-
-<p>“The gentlemen! and there’s another worry, sure,” said Mrs. Williams;
-“who would you think, ma’am, has been in the village, but a Frenchman,
-a-spying all about, and asking questions; and had the impudence to come
-to my very door, to the very park gates, to ask if I knowed a lady with
-a French name that was here or hereabout. I answered him short, and said
-I knew nothink about the French, and shut the door in his face, begging
-your pardon, ma’am; for, to be sure, he was after no good, coming asking
-for outlandish ladies here.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very odd,” said I, “I hope it’s no robber, Williams. You were quite
-right to shut the door in his face.”</p>
-
-<p>“And if I might make so bold,” said Williams, coming closer and speaking
-low, “Jacob, he maintains it was a French fellow with a mustache that
-scared Miss Sarah the day afore yesterday. Jacob seen him, but took no
-notice; and directly after<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_40" id="page_40"></a>{40}</span> Miss Sarah up and pulled the string, and
-told him to drive round by Eden Castle, a good five-mile round, and to
-go quick. You may depend Miss Sarah took him for a robber, or somethink;
-and I’m dead sure it was the same man.”</p>
-
-<p>I was very much startled by this, though I could scarcely tell why; but,
-of course, I would not let Williams suppose there was any mystery in it.
-“Very likely,” said I; “my sister goes out so little, she’s timid&mdash;but I
-am losing my time. Good-bye, little Mary, I’ll fetch you your
-picture-book; and be sure you rub her chest well with the liniment. I
-have always found it successful, and I’ve tried it for ten years.”</p>
-
-<p>When I had fairly got out of the lodge, I went along without losing any
-more time, wonderfully puzzled in my own mind. Here was a riddle I could
-neither understand nor find any key to. After hearing little Sara’s
-tale, and all she had to say about the Italian, there was nothing so
-surprising in finding him out here, if it should happen to be him,
-seeing the park was only a few miles from Chester; only that Sara showed
-more interest in him than she had any call to do, and if he should
-happen to be coming after <i>her</i>, it was a thing that should be looked
-to. But why, in all the world, should <i>Sarah</i> be agitated by the sight
-of him? <i>That</i> was the extraordinary circumstance. As for supposing her
-to be alarmed at the idea of a robber, that, of course, was the merest
-folly, and I never entertained the idea for a moment. But if this were
-not the reason, what could the reason be? I was entirely lost in
-bewilderment and consternation. Could it be the mere passing face of a
-stranger which made her so deeply anxious as to the name of the visitor
-who called next day, and the entrance of Ellis with the card? How, in
-all the world, could a wandering Italian, seeking or pretending to seek
-for somebody no one had ever heard of, make any difference to Sarah? The
-more I turned it over the more I was mystified. I could not even guess
-at any meaning in it; but to drive five miles round out of her way, to
-be so excited all at once about the heir of the Mortimers, and to have
-got such a strange, watchful, vigilant look on her face, these changes
-could not come from nothing: but I had not the merest shadow of a clue
-to guide me in connecting little Sara’s Italian, if it was he, with my
-sister Sarah’s agitation and excitement. I stopped short at this, and
-could not go a step further; if there was any connection between the
-two&mdash;if there was nothing else to account for Sarah’s trouble which I
-did not know of&mdash;then the whole affair was the most extraordinary
-mystery I ever came across.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_41" id="page_41"></a>{41}</span></p>
-
-<p>I walked pretty smartly down to the village while I was occupied with
-these thoughts. A nice little village ours was, though I can’t really
-say whether you would have called it picturesque. A little bit of a
-thread of a stream ran along the lower edge of the common, and found its
-way somehow, all by itself, little thing as it was, down to the Dee. At
-that time of year the common was rather chilly to look at, the grass and
-the gorse bushes being a good bit blackened by frost, which had set in
-pretty sharply. I remember noticing, as I passed, that Dame Marsden,
-whose cottage is the first you come to on the left-hand side, just on
-the edge of the common, had her washing out, some of the things, after
-the line was full, being spread on the gorse, and that the shirts were
-lying there with their stiff white arms stuck out like pokers, as hard
-with the frost as if they had been made of wood. But after you pass the
-first few cottages, which just lie here and there, you come to a snug
-bit of street, with the Rectory garden and a peep of the house on one
-side, and the doctor’s house staring straight at it across the road; and
-the other better houses of the village thrusting forward on both sides,
-as if to take care of the aristocracy, and keep them cosy. Just before
-you come to the doctor’s was the new shop I had spoken of at the lodge.
-It was got up by the doctor, and was going to be a failure. It had all
-kinds of cheap books and papers, and of all things in the world, a
-reading room! And the shopkeeper, who was rather a smart young fellow,
-taught a night school after the shop was over. I dare to say it wasn’t a
-bad place; but, of course, in a bit of a rural village like ours, it was
-easy to see it would never succeed.</p>
-
-<p>Into this shop, however, I went to get little Mary Williams her
-picture-book; and I can’t but say I was very much struck and surprised
-to see a stranger standing there whom I had never seen before, and to
-hear roars of laughter coming out of the shop and drawing the children
-about the door. The stranger was one of the fattest men I ever saw: not
-that he was dreadfully big or unwieldy,&mdash;on the contrary, he was
-spinning about on his toes in a way that would have been a trial to the
-lightest Englishman. His fatness was so beautifully distributed that it
-was amazing to see. His arms in the coat-sleeves which fitted them like
-the covers of a cushion, his short plump fingers, all were in perfect
-keeping. As for his face, that was nearly lost in beard. When I entered
-the shop he had seized his beard with one of his fat hands, in the
-warmth of his monologue; for he was talking, I have no<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_42" id="page_42"></a>{42}</span> doubt, in a very
-animated and lively manner, if any one could have understood a word of
-what he said. Now, I confess I felt a good deal of sympathy with the
-poor fellow; for I remember quite well the only time I ever was abroad
-feeling an odd sort of conviction that if I only spoke very clear,
-plain, distinct English, and spoke loud enough, people, after a while,
-must come to understand me. When he saw me he made a spin clean out of
-my way, took off the queer hat he had on, made me a bow, and stopped
-talking till I had done my business; which was the most civil thing I
-had seen in a stranger for many a day. And the face was such a jolly,
-honest sort of face that, in spite of my prejudice against foreigners, I
-felt quite disarmed all at once.</p>
-
-<p>“Who is he? What is he saying?” said I to the shop-people.</p>
-
-<p>“Goodness knows!” cried old Mrs. Taylor, the shopkeeper’s mother. “I
-know no more on’t nor if it was a dog. Lord, Miss Milly! to think of
-poor creatures brought up from their cradles to talk sich stuff as
-that!”</p>
-
-<p>“I was brought up at a grammar-school, ma’am,” said young Taylor
-himself, with a blush; “where it isn’t modern languages, you know,
-ma’am, that’s the great thing; and, though I know the grammar, I’m not
-very well up in my French.”</p>
-
-<p>Here his little sister, who had kept nudging him all this time, suddenly
-whispered, with her face growing crimson, “Oh, Alfred! ask Miss
-Milly!&mdash;to be sure she knows.”</p>
-
-<p>And, to tell the truth, though I knew I could never keep up a
-conversation, I had been privately conning over in my own mind a little
-scrap of French, though whether he was French or not I knew no more than
-Jenny Taylor. So I faced round boldly enough, not being afraid of any
-criticism, and fired off my interrogation at the good-humoured fat
-fellow. He looked so blank after I had spoken that it was quite apparent
-he did not understand a word of it. He made a profusion of bows. He
-entered into a long and animated explanation, which sent Jenny Taylor
-into fits of laughter, and filled her mother with commiseration. But I
-caught two words, and these confounded me. The first was “Italiano,”
-over and over repeated; the second which he pronounced, pointing out to
-the street with many lively gestures, was “padrone.” I comprehended the
-matter all at once, and it made my heart beat. This was the servant whom
-little Sara had described, and the master, the “padrone,” was in the
-village pursuing his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_43" id="page_43"></a>{43}</span> extraordinary inquiries, whatever they were, here.
-For the moment I could not help being agitated; I felt, I cannot explain
-why, as if I were on the eve of finding out something. I asked him
-eagerly, in English, where his master was; and again received a voluble
-and smiling answer, I have no doubt in very good Italian. Then we shook
-our heads mutually and laughed, neither quite convinced that the other
-could not understand if he or she would. But the end was that I got my
-picture-book and left the shop without ascertaining anything about the
-padrone. Perhaps it was just as well. Why should I go and thrust myself
-into mysteries and troubles which did not make any call upon me?</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XII-a" id="Chapter_XII-a"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">HAD</span> a good many little errands in the village, and stayed there for
-some time. It was dusk when I turned to go home. Very nice the village
-looks at dusk, I assure you&mdash;the rectory windows beginning to shine
-through the trees, and the doctor’s dining-room answering opposite as if
-by a kind of reflection; but no lamps or candles lighted yet in the
-other village houses, only the warm glow of the fire shining through the
-little muslin blind on the geraniums in the window; and, perhaps, the
-mother standing at the door to look out for the boys at play, or to see
-if it is time for father’s coming home. Dame Marsden’s shirts were still
-lying stiff and stark like ghosts upon the gorse bushes; and some of the
-early labourers began to come tramping heavily down the road with their
-long, slow, heavy steps. I had just stopped to ask James Hobson for his
-old father, when my share of the adventure came. I call it the
-adventure, because I suppose, somehow, we were all in it&mdash;Sarah, little
-Sara Cresswell, and me.</p>
-
-<p>Just when that good Jem had gone on&mdash;such a fellow he is, too! keeps his
-old father like a prince!&mdash;another sort of a figure appeared before the
-light; and, bless me, to think I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_44" id="page_44"></a>{44}</span> should have forgotten that
-circumstance!&mdash;of course it was the same figure that started so suddenly
-past me that evening when I stood looking for Sarah at the gate. He took
-off his hat to me, in the half light, and stopped. I stopped also, I
-cannot tell why. So far as I could see, a handsome young man, not so
-dark as one expects to see an Italian, and none of that sort of French
-showman look&mdash;you know what I mean&mdash;that these sort of people generally
-have: on the contrary, a look very much as if he were a gentleman; only,
-if I may say it, more innocent, more like a child in his ways than the
-young men are now-a-days. I did not see all this just in a moment, you
-may be sure. Indeed, I rather felt annoyed and displeased when the
-stranger stopped me on the road&mdash;my own road, that seemed to belong to
-me as much as the staircase or corridor at home. If he had not been
-possessed of a kind of ingratiating, conciliatory sort of manner, as
-these foreigners mostly have, I should scarcely have given him a civil
-answer, I do believe.</p>
-
-<p>“Pardon, Madame”&mdash;not <i>Madam</i>, you perceive, which is the stiffest,
-ugliest word that can be used in English&mdash;and I can’t make out how, by
-putting an e to the end of it, and laying the emphasis on the last
-syllable, it can be made so deferential and full of respect as the
-French word sounds to English ears&mdash;“pardon, Madame; I was taking the
-liberty to make inquiries in your village, and when I am so fortunate as
-to make an encounter with yourself, I think it a very happy accident.
-Will Madame permit me to ask her a question; only one,&mdash;it is very
-important to me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Sir,” said I, being a little struck with his language, and still more
-with his voice, which seemed to recall to me some other voice I had once
-known, “you speak very good English.”</p>
-
-<p>His hat was off again, of course, in a moment to acknowledge the
-compliment; but dark as it was, I could neither overlook nor could I in
-the least understand, the singular, half pathetic, melancholy look he
-gave me as he answered. “I had an English mother,” said the young
-foreigner; and he looked at me in the darkness, and in my complete
-ignorance of him, as if somehow I, plain Millicent Mortimer, a single
-woman over fifty, and living among my own people, either knew something
-about his mother, or had done her an injury, or was hiding her up
-somewhere, or I don’t know what. I could not tell anybody how utterly
-confounded and thunderstruck I was. I had nearly screamed out: “I? What
-do I know about your mother?”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_45" id="page_45"></a>{45}</span> so much impression did it have on me.
-After all it is wonderful how these foreigners do talk in this underhand
-sort of way with their eyes. I declare I do not so much wonder at the
-influence they often get over young creatures. That sort of thing is
-wonderfully impressive to the imagination.</p>
-
-<p>He paused quite in a natural, artful sort of way, to let the look have
-its full effect; and he must have seen I was startled too; for though I
-was old enough to have been his mother, I was, of course, but a plain
-Englishwoman, and had no power over my face.</p>
-
-<p>“Madame,” said the stranger with a little more vehemence, and a motion
-of his arm which looked as if he might fall into regular gesticulating,
-just what disgusts one most, “to find the Countess Sermoneta is the
-object of my life!”</p>
-
-<p>“I am very sorry I can’t help you,” said I, quite restored to myself by
-this, which I was, so to speak, prepared for; “I never heard of such a
-person; there’s no one of that name in this quarter, nor hasn’t been, I
-am sure, these thirty years.”</p>
-
-<p>Seeing I was disposed to push past, my new acquaintance stood aside, and
-took off again that everlasting hat.</p>
-
-<p>“I will not detain Madame,” he said in a voice that, I confess, rather
-went to my heart a little, as if I had been cruel to him; “but Madame
-will not judge hardly of my case. I came to find one whom I thought I
-had but to name; and I find her not, nor her name, nor any sign that she
-was ever here. Yet I must find her, living or dead; I made it a promise
-to my father on his death-bed. Madame will not wonder if I search, ask,
-look everywhere; I cannot do otherwise. Pardon that I say so much; I
-will detain Madame no more.”</p>
-
-<p>And so he stood aside with another salute. Still he took off his hat
-like a gentleman&mdash;no sort of flourish&mdash;a little more distinctly raised
-from his head, perhaps, than people do now-a-days; but nothing in bad
-taste; and just in proportion to his declaration that he would not
-detain me, I grew, if I must confess it, more and more willing to be
-detained. I did not go on when he stood out of my way, but rather fell a
-little back, and turned more towards him than I had yet done. Dame
-Marsden had just lighted her lamp, and it cast a sort of glimmery,
-uncertain light upon the face of my new acquaintance; undeniably a
-handsome young man. I like good-looking people wherever I find them; and
-that was not all. Somehow, through his beard&mdash;which I daresay people who
-like such appendages would have thought quite handsome&mdash;there seemed to
-me to look, by glimpses, some face I had known long ago; and his voice,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_46" id="page_46"></a>{46}</span>
-foreign as it was, had a tone, just an occasional indescribable note,
-which reminded me of some other voice, I could not tell whom belonging
-to. It was very strange; and one forgets stories that one has no
-personal interest in. Did I ever hear of any country person that had
-married an Italian? for somehow I had jumped to the conclusion that it
-was his mother he sought.</p>
-
-<p>“It is very odd,” said I, “I can fancy I have heard a voice like yours
-somewhere long ago. I seem to feel as if I knew you. I don’t remember
-ever hearing the name you want; but I’ll consult my sister and an old
-servant we have, and try to find out,&mdash;Sermoneta! I certainly do not
-recollect ever hearing the name. But it is very sad you should be so
-disappointed. If you will come to the Park some day next week and ask
-for Miss Millicent, I will do my best to find out for you if anybody
-knows the name.”</p>
-
-<p>He made a great many exclamations of thanks, which, to be sure, I could
-have dispensed with, and paused a little again in a hesitating way when
-I wanted to go on. At last he began quite in a new tone; and this was
-the oddest part of all.</p>
-
-<p>“If Madame should find, on inquiring, that the bearer of this name did
-not <i>will</i> to bear it; if there might be reasons to conceal that
-name;&mdash;if the lady, who is the Contessa, would but see me, would but let
-me know&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Sir,” said I, interrupting the young fellow all at once, “is it an
-<i>English</i> lady you are speaking of? English ladies do not conceal their
-names. Reason or not, we own to the name that belongs to us in <i>this</i>
-country. No, no, I know nothing about such a possibility. I don’t
-believe in it either. If I can hear of a Countess Sermoneta, I’ll let
-you know; but as for anybody denying their own name, you must not think
-such things happen here. Good night. You’re not accustomed to England, I
-can see. You must not think me impatient; but that’s not how we do
-things in our country. Come to the Park, all the same; and I shall do
-what I can to find out whether anybody remembers what you want to know.”</p>
-
-<p>This time he did not make any answer, only drew back a step, and so got
-quite out of the light of Dame Marsden’s window. He seemed to be
-silenced by what I had said, and I went on quite briskly, a little
-stimulated, I confess, by that little encounter, and the exertion of
-breaking my spear for English honour. Denying one’s name, indeed! Of
-course we have our faults like other people; but who ever heard of an
-English person (not speaking of thieves, or such creatures,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_47" id="page_47"></a>{47}</span> of course),
-denying his name! The thing was quite preposterous. It quite warmed me
-up as I hastened back to the Park, though I was rather later than usual,
-and the night had fallen dark all at once; and, to be sure, this kept me
-from all those uncomfortable ideas&mdash;that perhaps, it might be a
-deception after all; and what if it were a contrivance to be admitted to
-the Park? and it might, even, for anything I know, be all a
-fortune-hunter’s device to get introduced to Sara Cresswell&mdash;which
-disturbed my mind sadly, though I felt much ashamed of them after I had
-time for reflection at home.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_48" id="page_48"></a>{48}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="PART_II" id="PART_II"></a>PART II.<br /><br />
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE.</h2>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_I-b" id="Chapter_I-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">WILL</span> tell you exactly how it all happened.</p>
-
-<p>I have been an orphan all my life; at least, if that is a little Irish,
-I mean that I never knew, or saw, that I know of, either my father or my
-mother. Sad enough in the best of cases, and mine was not the best case
-you could think of. I don’t know who paid for me when I was a child.
-Some of mamma’s relations, I suppose, among them; and of all people in
-the world to trust a poor little orphan child to, think of fixing upon a
-soldier’s wife, following the regiment! That is how I have always been
-half a soldier myself; and one reason, perhaps, if any reason was
-necessary but his dear, good, tender-hearted self, why I was so ready,
-when Harry asked me, to do the most foolish thing in the world.</p>
-
-<p>Though I say they made a strange choice in leaving me with dear Nurse
-Richards, I don’t mean that it was not, so far as the woman was
-concerned, the very best choice that possibly could have been made.
-Richards himself was a sergeant, and she was quite a superior woman; but
-much more to the purpose than that, she had been my very own nurse,
-having taken me when poor mamma died. She had lost her baby, and I had
-lost my mother; and it was for real love, and not for hire, that Nurse
-Richards took the charge of me. She used to work hard, and deny herself
-many things, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_49" id="page_49"></a>{49}</span> know, to keep the little house, or the snug lodgings we
-always had, as far off from the barracks as Richards would allow them to
-be. I know she could not possibly have had enough money for me to make
-up for what she spent on my account; but I don’t think it was hard to
-her, working and sparing for the poor orphan little girl. I know such
-things by my own experience now. It was sweet to her to labour, and
-contrive, and do a hundred things I knew nothing about, for “the
-child’s” sake. I would do it all over again, and thankful, for her sake.
-Ah, that I would! Pain and trouble are sweet for those one loves.</p>
-
-<p>She did her duty by me too, if ever woman did. She never would let me
-forget that I was a lady, as she said. She used to lecture me by the
-hour about many a thing being fit enough for the other children which
-was not becoming for me, till I came to believe her as children do, and
-gave myself little airs as was natural. I got no education, to be sure,
-but reading and writing, and needlework, and how to do most things about
-a house. So far as I have gone into life yet it has been a very good
-education to me. I don’t doubt much more serviceable than if I had been
-at boarding-school, as poor Aunt Connor used to lament, and wish I had;
-but it was a sad wandering life for all that. We were in Edinburgh the
-first that I can recollect. I remember as clear as possible, as if it
-were in a dream, the great Castle Rock standing high up out of the town,
-and whatever was ado in the skies, sunshine, or moonlight, or clouds, or
-a thunder-storm, or whatever was going on, always taking that for its
-centre, as I imagined. I could fancy still, if I shut my eyes, that I
-saw the grey building up high in the blue air, with the lights twinkling
-in the windows half way up to the stars; and heard the trumpet pealing
-out with a kind of wistful sound, bringing images to me, a soldier’s
-child, of men straying about, lost among the darkling fields, or
-bewildered in the streets, when the recall sounded far up over their
-heads in that calm inaccessible height. I see that very Castle Rock now
-again, not in imagination, but with my real eyes. It is just the same as
-ever, though I am so very different. It is my first love, and I am loyal
-to it. Not being of any country, for I am <i>some</i> Irish, and some Welsh,
-and some Scotch, and Harry is a pure thorough-bred Englishman, I can
-quite afford to be in love with Edinburgh Castle. The regiment went to
-Swansea after it left Edinburgh, and then to Belfast, and we were in
-dreadful terror of being sent to Canada, where Nurse Richards declared<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_50" id="page_50"></a>{50}</span>
-she never would take “the child.” However, it never came to trying. At
-Belfast, dear tender soul, she died. Ah me! ah me! I could not think how
-the kind Lord could leave me behind, so wretched as I was; but He knew
-better than I did. I was only fifteen; I humbly hope, now I’m twenty, I
-have a great deal more yet to do in the world. But I thought of nothing
-then except only what a comfort it would be to slip into the coffin
-beside her and be laid down quietly in her grave.</p>
-
-<p>I did not know a single relation I had, if, indeed, I had any; Aunt
-Connor, I know, used to send the money for me; but Nurse Richards had
-often told me she was not my real aunt; only my uncle’s wife, and he was
-dead. So, though she supported me, she had no right to love me; and she
-couldn’t love me, and did not, that is certain; for I was fifteen, and
-had never seen her, nor a single relation in the world. However, when
-she heard of Nurse Richards’ death, Aunt Connor sent her maid for me. It
-is very fortunate, Bridget said, we were in Belfast, and no great
-distance off, for if it had been in England, over the seas, there was no
-telling what might have happened. I was very unwilling to go with
-Bridget. I struggled very much, and spoke to Richards about it. I said I
-would much rather go into service, where at least I could be near <i>her</i>
-grave; but it was of no use speaking. I was obliged to obey.</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Connor lived in Dublin; and when I got to her house and saw the
-footman, and the page in his livery, and all the grandeur about the
-house, I thought really that Aunt Connor must be a very great lady.
-Harry says the house was shabby-fine, and everything vulgar about it;
-but I cannot say I saw that. Perhaps I am not so good a judge as Harry,
-never having seen anything of the kind before. I do believe that she
-really was very kind to me in her way; I must say so, whatever Harry
-thinks. Harry says she behaved atrociously, and was jealous of me
-because I was prettier than her own girls (which is all Harry’s
-nonsense), and a great deal more like that&mdash;all in the Cinderella style,
-you know, where the two young ladies are spiteful and ugly, and the
-little girl in the kitchen is quite an angel. I love Cinderella; but all
-the same, Harry’s story <i>is not true</i>. I underscore the words to
-convince him if he should ever see this. Alicia and Patricia were very
-handsome girls,&mdash;as different from me as possible&mdash;and good girls too,
-and always had a kind word for their poor little cousin. They did not
-take me to all their gaieties, to be sure. I am sure I did not wish it.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_51" id="page_51"></a>{51}</span>
-I was much happier in the nursery. After I had seen Harry a few times,
-perhaps I did grudge going down so seldom to the drawing-room; and used
-to keep wondering in my heart which of them he was fond of, and had many
-a cry over it. But now that it is all past, and I see more clearly, I
-know they were very kind indeed, considering. They were never, all the
-time I was there, unfeeling to me; they liked me, and I liked them:
-nothing in the world of your Cinderella story. If I had a nice house,
-and was rich enough to have a visitor, there is nothing I should like
-better than to have Patricia (her sister is married) come to see me. It
-would be pleasant to see her bright Irish face. No, honestly, I cannot
-complain of Aunt Connor. I am very sorry I deceived her for an hour&mdash;she
-was never unkind to me.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_II-b" id="Chapter_II-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">DID</span> not think I could have said half a dozen words about myself
-without telling all the story of my marriage. But what I have said was
-necessary to keep you from blaming me so much. For, after all, I was a
-young, friendless, desolate creature, longing very much to have somebody
-belonging to me, somebody of my very own, and with no very clear natural
-duty to Aunt Connor, though she had paid for bringing me up. I say again
-she was kind to me, and so were the girls; but principally because it
-was not in their nature to be unkind to anybody, and not because they
-had a particular affection for me. And that is what one wants, whatever
-people may choose to say. One might die of longing for love though one
-was surrounded with kindness. Ah, yes, I am sure of it: even a little
-unkindness from people we belong to, and who belong to us, one can bear
-it. To have nobody belonging to you is the saddest thing in the world.</p>
-
-<p>I never was melancholy or pensive, or anything like that. After a while,
-when I could think of Nurse Richards without<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_52" id="page_52"></a>{52}</span> breaking my heart, I got
-just as cheerful as other girls of my age, and enjoyed whatever little
-bit of pleasure came to me. But after I began to know Harry&mdash;after it
-began to dawn upon my mind that there might be somebody in the world who
-would take an interest in all my little concerns, for no better reason
-than that they belonged to me, not for kindness or compassion, I felt as
-if I were coming to life all at once. I have had some doubts since
-whether it was what people call love; perhaps I would have been shyer
-had it been so, and I don’t think I ever was shy to speak of. I was so
-glad, so thankful, to the bottom of my heart, to think of having
-somebody belonging to me. If we could have done something to make
-ourselves <i>real</i> brother and sister, I believe I should have been just
-as glad. However, of course that was impossible. All the officers used
-to come to Aunt Connor’s; she was always good-tempered and pleasant, and
-glad to see them, though I am sure she would not have allowed her girls
-to marry any of those poor lieutenants. However, I happened to be in the
-drawing-room a good many times when Harry came first. Nobody noticed
-that we two were always getting together for a time; but when my aunt
-did observe it, she was angry, and said I was flirting, and I was not to
-come downstairs any more in the evening. I thought I didn’t mind; I
-never had minded before. But I did feel this. I made quite sure Harry
-was falling in love with one of my cousins, and used to wonder which it
-would be, and cry. Crying by one’s self does not improve one’s looks;
-and when I met Harry the first day, by real accident, he looked so
-anxious and concerned about me, that it quite went to my heart. My aunt
-used to send me on her particular errands at that time,&mdash;to order things
-for the dinner-parties, and to match ribbons, and to take gloves to be
-cleaned; things the servants could not do properly. She used to say if I
-kept my veil down, and walked very steadily, nobody would ever molest
-me; and nobody ever did. Only Harry got to know the times I generally
-went out, and always happened to meet me somewhere. Oh yes, it was very
-wrong; very, <i>very</i> wrong; if I had ever had a mother I could not have
-forgiven myself. But it was such a comfort to see his face brighten up
-as he caught sight of me. No one could tell how cheering it was except
-one as friendless as me. So, as you may suppose, it went on from less to
-more, and at last (after we had been asked in church, and I don’t know
-all what) Harry and I called in at a far-off little church one morning,
-and were married. I had not thought very much about it till it was over;
-but the moment it was fairly over I fell into the greatest panic<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_53" id="page_53"></a>{53}</span> I ever
-was in, in all my life. What if Aunt Connor should find us out? If she
-did find us out, what would be done to us? what would happen to Harry? I
-almost think he must have carried me out of church, my head quite spun
-round upon my shoulders. I fell into such a tremble that my limbs would
-not support me. When we were out of the church,&mdash;it was a summer
-morning, beautiful and sweet, and the air so pleasant that it made one
-happy to breathe it,&mdash;we two foolish young creatures looked with a kind
-of awe into each other’s faces. Harry was pale as well as me. I do
-believe he was in a panic too. “Oh, Harry, what have we done?” cried I
-with a little gasp. He burst out into a great trembling laugh. “What we
-can never undo, Milly darling; nor anybody else for us,” said he; “and
-God be praised!” I could not say another word. We neither of us could
-speak any more; we went silently along through the air, so sweet and
-sunny, trembling and holding each other close, to my aunt’s door, where
-we were to part. I think we must have gone gliding along like fairies,
-on the wings that grow to people’s shoulders at those wonderful moments;
-surely we did not walk over the common pavement like ordinary people.
-But the common door, the white steps, the blank front of Aunt Connor’s
-house, disenchanted us. I could not stop to say good-bye, but only gave
-him a frightened look, and ran in, for the door was fortunately open.
-Oh, how cold and trembling I felt when I shut my room door, and was safe
-in, and knew it was all over! I took off my white frock, all in awe and
-terror of myself. But when I had put on my morning dress, and looked at
-myself in the glass, it was not Milly Mortimer! <i>I</i> knew it was not
-Milly Mortimer. I fastened my ring so that I could wear it round my neck
-under my high dress, without anybody knowing; but already it had made a
-mark round my finger. I was married! Oh dear, dear, and to think I could
-not tell anybody! I never had a secret all my life before. I went down
-on my knees in the corner, and asked God to forgive me, and to take care
-of us two poor children that did not know what we were doing. Then I had
-to get up and open my door, and go out in the every-day house. I can’t
-tell how I did it. Of all the wonders in my life, there is none like
-that. I can fancy how I was led on to consent to be married; but how did
-I ever go downstairs and do my sewing, and eat my dinner, and look Aunt
-Connor in the face? I suppose I must have done it somehow without making
-them suspect anything; and I don’t wonder my aunt called me a little
-hypocrite. What a hypocrite I must have been!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_54" id="page_54"></a>{54}</span></p>
-
-<p>I did not see Harry next day, and felt very miserable; cold, as if a
-sudden frost had come on in the middle of summer. But the next morning
-after, looking out of my window very early, who should I see looking up
-at the house but himself! That moment I got back into the sun. We
-belonged to each other; everything, even to the dress I had on, Harry
-was pleased to know about. Ah, what a difference! I cannot say anything
-else, though it may be very improper. After that moment I never was
-ashamed again of what I had done, nor frightened, nor sorry. If it was
-wrong, it’s a pity, and I don’t defend myself; but from that time I
-thought only that I had somebody belonging to me; that I dared not get
-ill, or mope, or die, or do any foolish thing; that I had Harry to think
-of, and do for, and take care of. Ah, that was different from doing Aunt
-Connor’s messages. It was not being married, it was being born&mdash;it was
-coming to life.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_III-b" id="Chapter_III-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">Y</span><span class="smcap">OU</span> are not to suppose, however, that we did not pay for our
-foolishness. If I had been a well-brought up girl living at home, I
-should have been perfectly wretched in that strange, feverish, secret
-life in which everything felt like guilt; and, as it was, the excitement
-and feeling of secrecy wore me out day by day. Poor Harry, too, got
-quite harassed and wretched looking. This that we had done certainly did
-not make us happy. Harry still came to the house for the chance of
-seeing me; and imagine what I felt to know that he was in the
-drawing-room, and <i>I, his wife</i>, sitting upstairs, after the little
-children had gone to bed, sewing in the quiet nursery! I don’t know how
-I ever endured it; and to hear Alicia and Patricia next morning saying
-to each other what a bear that young Langham had grown! Once or twice,
-when I was allowed to be downstairs, it was worse and worse. If one of
-the other gentlemen so much as looked at me, Harry flushed up<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_55" id="page_55"></a>{55}</span> and
-looked furious. Twenty times in a night I thought he would have
-interfered and made a scene; but all the time we dared scarcely speak to
-each other; and I am sure Aunt Connor never thought we were flirting
-then. When I went out, as before, on my aunt’s errands, with my veil
-down, Harry, instead of being pleased to meet me, as he used to be, was
-so cross and unhappy that it was quite dreadful to be with him. And he
-would come about the house looking up at the windows at all kinds of
-improper times, quite in an open way, as if he were defying Aunt Connor.
-I was quite in a fever night and day; I never knew what might happen any
-minute. He could not bear so much as to think of other people ordering
-me about, and making me do things I did not want to do. I am sure it is
-very good of Harry to be so kind and fond of me as he is; for I feel
-certain that, for the first three months, our marriage made him
-miserable, injured his health, and his temper, and his appetite, and
-everything. You may say, why did we keep it secret? The reason was this,
-that he was to come in to a little money, which his uncle, who was his
-only relation, had promised him on his birthday, and which he ought to
-have got before now; and poor Harry thought every day it might come, and
-was always waiting. But unless it was that promised present, he had
-nothing in the world but his lieutenant’s pay.</p>
-
-<p>However, of course, this state of things could not go on. One day I had
-gone out to take some gloves to be cleaned, and Harry, of course, had
-met me. We were going along very quiet, not saying much to each other,
-for he had been in one of his troublesome humours, having got a letter
-from his uncle without a word in it about the money, and I had been
-begging him to have patience a little, when all at once my heart gave a
-jump, and I knew the crisis had come. There, straight before us,
-crossing the road, was Aunt Connor, with her great eyes fixed upon Harry
-and me!</p>
-
-<p>I gave a little cry and looked round. If there had been any cross street
-or opening near I should have run away, and never looked either of them
-in the face again; but there was not a single opening in all the houses.
-I clasped my hands together tight, and stood still, with something
-throbbing so in my head that I thought it would burst. I did not see
-Harry nor anything, only Aunt Connor coming up to me whom I had
-deceived.</p>
-
-<p>She grasped hold of me by the arm as soon as ever she came up. “Oh, you
-shameless, ungrateful creature! Is this what you have come to after all
-my care of you? This is how you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_56" id="page_56"></a>{56}</span> take your walks, is it, Miss Mortimer?
-Oh, good heavens! was ever simple woman so taken in and imposed upon?
-Oh, you wicked, foolish, thoughtless thing! do you know you’re going to
-ruin? do you know you’re seeking your own destruction? do you
-know?&mdash;Lord save us, I don’t know what words to say to you! Haven’t you
-heard what comes to young girls that behave so? Oh, you young
-scapegrace! how dare you bring such a disgrace on my house!”</p>
-
-<p>“Hold your tongue, you old witch,” said Harry, who was perfectly wild
-with rage, as I could hear by the sound of his voice, for I dared not
-turn my head to look at him. But there he was, grasping hold of my hand
-and holding me up. “Take your hand off my wife’s arm, Mrs. Connor. What!
-you dare venture to speak about disgrace and destruction after sending
-her out defenceless day after day. She has had somebody to defend her,
-though you took no trouble about it. Yes, Milly darling, I am thankful
-it has come at last. Madam, take away your hand; she is my wife.”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Connor fell back from me perfectly speechless, holding up her two
-hands. We two stood opposite, Harry holding my hand drawn through his
-arm. I thought I should have sunk into the ground; and yet I felt so
-happy and proud I could have cried with joy. Yes, it was quite true; I
-was not all by myself to fight my own battles. We two belonged to each
-other, and all the world could not make it otherwise. I could not say a
-word, and I did not mind. I could leave it all to Harry. Henceforward he
-would stand up for me before all the world.</p>
-
-<p>I really cannot tell, after that, what Aunt Connor said. I remember that
-Harry wanted to take me away at once to his lodgings, and said he would
-not allow me to go home with her; and she took hold of my arm again, and
-declared she would not let me go till she had proof he was telling the
-truth about our marriage. The end of it all was that we both went home
-with her. She was dreadfully angry,&mdash;speechless with rage and dismay;
-but after just the first she managed to keep proper and decorous in what
-she said, being in the street, and not wishing to make a scene or gather
-a crowd. She took us into the library and had it out there. Oh, what
-names she called me!&mdash;not only deceitful and ungrateful, but, what was
-far worse, light and easily won; and warned Harry against me, that I’d
-deceive him as well. When she said <i>that</i> it roused me; and I don’t know
-what I should have said if Harry had not drawn me aside quite quietly
-and whispered, “Leave it all to me.” I did; I never said a word<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_57" id="page_57"></a>{57}</span> for
-myself. I put my cause into his hands. To be answered for, and have my
-defence undertaken so, did a great deal more than make up to me for
-anything that could be said. It was all very agitating and dreadful,
-however; and I could not help thinking that most likely Harry’s uncle,
-when he heard what a foolish marriage his nephew had made, would not
-send that money, and Harry would have me to provide for, and so little,
-so very little to do it with; and most likely all his brother officers
-making fun of him to each other for being so foolish. Ah! now I felt how
-foolish we had been.</p>
-
-<p>“Milly must come home with me,” said Harry. “If I could scarcely endure
-her remaining here while it was all a secret, you may suppose how
-impossible it is that I can endure it now. I thank you very much, Mrs.
-Connor, for finding us out; and don’t think,” he said, changing his look
-in a moment, “that I forget or will forget what actual kindness you may
-have shown to my wife. But she is my wife: she must not do other
-people’s business, or live in any house but her own. Mrs. Connor will
-let you put your things together, Milly darling, for I cannot leave you
-behind again.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, young people,” said Aunt Connor, “I have seen a great deal, and
-come through a great deal in my life, but such boldness and unconcern I
-never did see before. Why, you don’t even look ashamed of
-yourselves!&mdash;not Miss here, that is going to be at the head of her own
-establishment, in the parlour over Mrs. Grogram’s shop, with boots lying
-about in all the corners, and a cigar-box on the mantelshelf. However,
-Mr. Langham, I am not such an old witch as you think for. I won’t let my
-poor Connor’s niece go off like this, all of a sudden, with a young man
-that has never made the least preparation for her. I am not throwing any
-doubt upon your marriage, nor meaning any scandal upon the lieutenant,
-Miss Milly,&mdash;you need not flush up; but what do you suppose his landlady
-would say if he came in with a young lady by his side, and said he had
-brought home his wife? Do you think she’d believe in you, or give you
-proper respect, you unfortunate young creature? No, no; I’ll do my duty
-by you, whether you will or no. Let Mr. Langham go home and make things
-a little ready for a lady. She’s a lady by both sides of the house, I
-can tell you, Mr. Langham; and I’ve heard her poor papa say might come
-in for a great estate, if she lived. Any how, she’s poor Connor’s niece,
-and she shan’t go out of my house in an unbecoming manner. Go home and
-set your place in order for a bride; and since it must be so,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_58" id="page_58"></a>{58}</span> come back
-for Milly; but out of this door she’s not going to-night. Now be
-easy,&mdash;be easy. I have had to do with her for eighteen years, and you
-have had to do with her for a month or two. It’s not respectable, I tell
-you, you two young fools. What! do you think I’ll make away with her, if
-you leave her here while you make things decent at home?”</p>
-
-<p>Neither Harry nor I could resist kindness; and Aunt Connor was kind, as
-nobody could deny; but he blushed, poor fellow, and looked
-uncomfortable, and looked at me to help him out this time. “Harry has no
-money, no more than I have,” said I; “it’s his wife that must make
-things tidy at home.”</p>
-
-<p>A kind of strange spasm went over Aunt Connor’s face, as if she had
-something to say and couldn’t, or wouldn’t. She pursed up her lips all
-at once, and went away hastily to the other end of the room to pick up
-something,&mdash;something that had nothing at all to do with us or our
-business. “Well, well, do as you like,” she said, in a curious choked
-voice. When she turned away from us, Harry drew me close to him to
-consult what we should do. It was quite true about the boots, he said,
-with a blush and a laugh; should I mind? Certainly I didn’t mind; but I
-thought, on the whole, it was best not to vex Aunt Connor any more, but
-to take her advice,&mdash;he to leave me here to-night, and fetch me home
-to-morrow. Fetch me home! I that had never known such a thing in all my
-life.</p>
-
-<p>We parted for another day with that agreement; and, strange as people
-may think it, I was quite a heroine in Aunt Connor’s house that night.
-The girls both came up to my room and made me tell them all about it,
-and laughed and kissed me, and teased me, and cried over me, and did all
-sorts of kind foolish things. They found out my ring tied round my neck,
-and made me put it on; and they kept constantly running back and forward
-from their own room to mine with little presents for me. Not much, to be
-sure; but I was only a girl, though I was married, and liked them. There
-was somebody to dinner, so I did not go downstairs, but when the
-strangers were gone, there was a little supper in my honour, and Aunt
-Connor made some negus with her own hand, and ordered them all to drink
-dear Milly’s health the last night she would be at home. I could have
-really thought they loved me that last night. They did not, however;
-only, though it might not be very steady or constant, they were kind,
-kind at the heart; and when one was just at the turn of one’s life,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_59" id="page_59"></a>{59}</span> and
-all one’s heart moved and excited, they could no more have refused their
-sympathy than they could have denied their nature; and being very much
-shocked and angry at first did not make the least difference to this.
-The girls were twenty times fonder of me that night than if I had been
-married ever so properly,&mdash;dear, kind, foolish Irish hearts!</p>
-
-<p>But all the while there was a strange uneasy look in Aunt Connor’s face.
-I divined somehow, I cannot tell by what means, that there was something
-she ought to tell me which she either was afraid or unwilling to let me
-know, or had some object in keeping from me. She must be an innocent
-woman, surely, or I never could have read that so clear in her face.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IV-b" id="Chapter_IV-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> next morning Harry came radiant, quite like a new man. Was it all
-for joy of taking me home? or, perhaps he had got the money on this most
-convenient of all mornings? but such things don’t often happen just at
-the most suitable time. He came rushing in with a kind of
-shout,&mdash;“Milly, we’ve orders to march; we’re going next week. Hurrah!”
-cried Harry.</p>
-
-<p>“And why hurrah?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll have ourselves to ourselves, and nobody in our way,” he said; but
-just then seeing Aunt Connor, who was at the other end of the room,
-stopped short and looked a little confused. He had not intended to say
-anything ill-natured to her.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I am not affronted; you’re excusable, you’re quite excusable,” said
-Aunt Connor; “and I believe it <i>is</i> very lucky; you’ll have a fresh
-start, and nobody will know how foolish you have been. I was too angry
-to ask yesterday, or to think of anything but that deluded child there,
-that thinks herself so happy;&mdash;but young Langham, dear, have ye any
-friends?”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_60" id="page_60"></a>{60}</span></p>
-
-<p>“None to whom I am answerable,” said Harry.</p>
-
-<p>“Then that means no father nor mother, no parents and guardians?” said
-my aunt. “Well, what you’ve done is done, and can’t be undone; we must
-make the best of it. Have you put the boots into the corner, and tidied
-the cigars off the mantelshelf? and now Mrs. Grogram knows all about
-it,&mdash;when it happened, where it happened, and how you two took clever
-Mrs. Connor in?”</p>
-
-<p>“Exactly,” said Harry, laughing; “you have quite described it all. I
-have done my best, Milly darling; come home.”</p>
-
-<p>“You’re glad, you two young fools?” said my aunt.</p>
-
-<p>“I should think so! and shouldn’t we be glad?” cried Harry. “If we have
-not a penny between us, we have what is much better. Milly, come.”</p>
-
-<p>“Hush with your Milly, Milly,” said Aunt Connor, “and speak for
-yourself, young man. My poor Connor’s niece, if she is undutiful, shall
-never be said to be penniless. Well, I’ve won the battle. I <i>will</i> tell
-you, for I ought. As sure as she’s standing there in her white frock,
-she has five hundred pounds.”</p>
-
-<p>“Five hundred pounds!” both Harry and I repeated the words with a little
-cry of wonder and delight.</p>
-
-<p>She had said this with a flash of resolution, as if it were quite hard
-to get it out; now she fell suddenly into a strange sort of coaxing,
-persuading tone, which was sadly painful to me just as I was getting to
-like her better; and as she coaxed and grew affectionate she grew vulgar
-too. How strange! I had rather have given her the money than seen her
-humble herself so.</p>
-
-<p>“But it’s out at the best of interest, my dears; what you couldn’t get
-for it elsewhere. Think of five-and-twenty pounds a-year; an income,
-Milly! My child, I’ll undertake to pay you the half year’s interest out
-of my own pocket to help you with your housekeeping; for, of course, you
-would never think of lifting the money, you nor young Langham, with such
-an income coming of it. No, no; let well alone, I say. I would not
-meddle with a penny of it if I were you. Rash young creatures that don’t
-know the value of money, you’d just throw it away; but think what a
-comfort there is in five-and-twenty pounds a-year!”</p>
-
-<p>Harry and I looked at each other; it was as clear as day that she had it
-herself, and did not want to give it up. He was angry; I was only vexed
-and distressed. I never in all my life had thought of money before.</p>
-
-<p>“Five hundred pounds would be very useful to Milly just<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_61" id="page_61"></a>{61}</span> now, Mrs.
-Connor,” said Harry; “she has not a trousseau, as your daughters would
-have; and I can only give her all I have, which is little enough. At
-least it’s my duty to ascertain all about it; where it is, and what it
-is, and&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, what it is! half of it Uncle Connor’s own gift to the ungrateful
-creature&mdash;half of it at the very least; and ascertain, to be
-sure!&mdash;ascertain, and welcome!&mdash;call it in if ye please, and spend it
-all in three weeks, and don’t come to me for help or credit. What do you
-mean, sir? Do ye think it’s anything to me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Aunt Connor, please don’t be angry. I never had but
-half-a-sovereign all my life,” cried I. “You’ll tell us all about it
-afterwards, to be sure. Harry&mdash;I mean Mr. Langham&mdash;doesn’t understand.
-But it would be so handy to have some of it. Aunt Connor, don’t you
-think so? Only please don’t be angry. I should like, all out of my own
-head, to spend ten pounds.”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Connor did not speak, but went to her desk and took something out
-of it that was already prepared&mdash;one envelope she gave to Harry and the
-other to me.</p>
-
-<p>“Here is the half year’s dividend of your wife’s little money; it’s just
-come due,” said Aunt Connor, “and here, Milly, dear, is your aunt’s
-wedding-present to you. Now you can have your will, you see, without
-breaking in upon your tiny bit of fortune. See what it is to have
-thoughtful friends.”</p>
-
-<p>For in my envelope there was exactly the sum I wished for&mdash;ten pounds.</p>
-
-<p>And what do you suppose I did? Harry standing there as sulky as a
-statue, looking as if he would like to tear up his share and throw it
-into the fire. I was so delighted I ran and threw my arms round her
-neck, and kissed Aunt Connor. I hugged her quite heartily. I did not
-understand five hundred pounds; but I knew I could get something nice
-for Harry, and a new dress and a wedding bonnet, with orange-blossoms,
-out of what she gave me. And she cried, too, and kissed me as if I had
-been her own child; and it was no hypocrisy, whatever you may think.
-Harry snatched me away, and quite turned me out of the room to get my
-bonnet. He looked the sulkiest, most horrid fellow imaginable. I almost
-could have made faces at him as he sent me away; it was our first <i>real</i>
-quarrel; but I can’t say I was very much afraid.</p>
-
-<p>When we got out of doors he was quite in a passion with poor Aunt
-Connor. “Kind! what do you mean by kind? why, you’ve been living on your
-own money. I am sure she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_62" id="page_62"></a>{62}</span> has not spent more on you, besides making you
-her servant,” cried Harry. “And to take her present! and kiss her&mdash;pah!
-I would not do it for a hundred pounds.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nobody asked you, sir,” said I: “but come this way, please Harry, I
-want to look at one shop-window&mdash;just one. I saw something there
-yesterday that would just do for me; and now I can afford to buy a
-dress.”</p>
-
-<p>“By Jove!” cried Harry, “what creatures you women are; here we are, on
-as good as our wedding-day, walking home for the first time, and you are
-thinking of the shop-windows! Are you just like all the rest?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, indeed, just precisely,” said I. “Ah, Harry, I never was in the
-street before that I felt quite free and yet quite protected and safe.
-Only think of the difference! I am not afraid of anybody or anything
-to-day. I am going home. If you were not so grave and proper I think I
-could dance all the way.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry did not say another word; he held my arm close, and called me by
-my name. My name was Milly darling, to Harry; he said it sounded like
-the turn of an Irish song. He calls me Milly darling still, though we
-have been married two years.</p>
-
-<p>And how pretty he had made that little parlour over Mrs. Grogram’s shop!
-Not a boot about anywhere that I could see, nor the shadow of a cigar;
-clean new muslin curtains up, and flowers on the table; and the landlady
-curtseying, and calling me Mrs. Langham. It was the very first time I
-had heard the name. How odd it sounded! and yet an hour after I should
-have laughed if any one had called me Miss Mortimer, as if that were the
-most absurd thing in the world.</p>
-
-<p>And to make <i>home</i> does not require many rooms or a great deal of
-furniture. I have not a “house of my own” yet, and, perhaps, may not
-have for years. A poor subaltern, with nothing but his pay, when he is
-so foolish as to marry, has to take his wife to lodgings; but the best
-house in the world could not have felt to me a warmer, safer, more
-delightful home than Mrs. Grogram’s parlour above the shop.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_63" id="page_63"></a>{63}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_V-b" id="Chapter_V-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> is only right, however,” said Harry, “that before we leave we should
-know all that Mrs. Connor can tell us, Milly darling, about your family
-and your relations. Though she’s to have your five hundred pounds, she
-need not have your family archives too.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, Harry, you almost speak as if you grudged her the five hundred
-pounds!”</p>
-
-<p>“And so I do,” said Harry. “Just now, while I am so poor, it might have
-made you a little comfortable. Please Heaven, after a while, five
-hundred pounds will not matter so much; at least it is to be hoped so.
-If there would only come a war&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Harry, you savage! how dare you say so!” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“Nonsense! what’s the good of a soldier except to fight?” he said.
-“Active service brings promotion, Milly. You would not like to see me a
-subaltern at forty. Better to take one’s chance of getting knocked on
-the head.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, it is very easy for you to talk,” said I; “and if I could disguise
-myself and ’list like Lady Fanshawe&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“<span class="lftspc">’</span>List! you five-foot creature! you could be nothing but a drummer,
-Milly; and besides, Lady Fanshawe did not ’list, she&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind, I could contrive as well as she did,” said I. “I could get
-upon stilts or something, and be your man, and never disclose myself
-till I had cut down all your enemies, and brought you safe out of the
-battle, and then fainted in your arms.”</p>
-
-<p>“Pleasant for me,” said Harry; “but I do believe, in spite of romance,
-Fanshawe himself would have given his head to have had his wife safe at
-home that time. Do you think it would be a comfort to a man if he was
-shot down himself to think his wife was there with nobody to take care
-of her? No, Milly darling; the truest love would stay at home and pray.”</p>
-
-<p>“And die,” said I; “I understand it better now. If I were ’listing and
-going after you, it would not be for your sake, Harry, but for my own.
-How do women keep alive, do you think, when those that belong to them
-are at the wars?”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_64" id="page_64"></a>{64}</span></p>
-
-<p>Neither of us knew; but to think of it made us shudder and tremble,&mdash;I
-that should have to bear it some day! for the very people in the streets
-said that war was coming on.</p>
-
-<p>“In the meantime let me remind you,” said Harry, “that we’re going to
-Aunt Connor’s to bid them good-bye, and that I mean to ask her all about
-your relations, and get a full history of your family, in case you might
-happen to be a princess in disguise, or a great heiress. By the bye, she
-said something like that. Only don’t be too sanguine, Milly; if there
-had been anything more to get on your account, Aunt Connor would have
-ferreted it out.”</p>
-
-<p>I thought he was rather hard upon her, but could not really say anything
-in her defence. I had myself begged Harry, after two or three talks with
-Aunt Connor about it, not to say any more to her about claiming the five
-hundred pounds. She had only her jointure, poor lady, and could not have
-paid it without ruining herself. And, after all, she had always paid
-Nurse Richards for me, and had kept me, and been kind enough to me. So
-it was settled she was to keep it, and give us the five-and-twenty
-pounds a-year. Not that she would allow, straight out, that she had it.
-She always pretended it was somebody else that paid her the interest,
-and that it was the very best investment in the world, and she wished
-she could get as much for her money. Poor Aunt Connor! her pretence did
-not deceive anybody; but I suppose it was a sort of comfort to herself.</p>
-
-<p>I did not take any part in Harry’s questions at first; it was all I
-could do to answer the girls, who wanted to know all how we were going
-to travel, and everything about it. Patricia brought me down her warm
-cloak that she had worn all last winter. She said, though it wasn’t new,
-it would be a comfortable wrap for the journey, if I would have it; and
-indeed I thought so too, though Harry, I dare say, would have made a
-fuss about it, if I had consulted him. But when Aunt Connor really began
-to talk about poor papa and mamma, I hushed the girls and listened. I
-never had heard anything about them. It was natural it should be very
-interesting to me.</p>
-
-<p>“It was more from hearsay than knowledge, for, of course, Milly’s papa
-was a great deal older than me,” said Aunt Connor, with a little toss of
-her head. “He was forty when he married Maria, my poor Connor’s only
-sister; and she was not very young either; and it went very hard with
-her when Milly there came into the world; but though she died, poor
-soul! he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_65" id="page_65"></a>{65}</span> would not call the babe Maria, do what we would, but
-Millicent, because it was the great name in his family. That was how we
-came to hear about his family at all. His head was a little touched,
-poor soul! He said what if she should come into the Park property after
-all, and not be called Milly? He said Millicent Mortimer had been a name
-in the family from the Conquest, or the Restoration, or something; and
-the heiress that wasn’t Millicent had no luck. When he got weakly, he
-maundered on for ever about his family. It was cousins or cousins’
-children had the property, and one of them had jilted him. He used to
-say, in his wandering way, that one would never come to good; <i>she’d</i>
-never bring an heir to the property. But whether there were sons, or if
-it was only a lady between him and the estate, or how the rights of it
-were, I could not tell you. We used to think half of it was maundering,
-and my poor dear Connor never put any faith in it. Except Maria Connor
-that married him being not so young as she once was, not a creature
-about knew Mr. Mortimer. He was an Englishman, and not much of a man any
-how. No offence to you, Milly, dear; he was the kind of man that never
-does any good after he’s been jilted; so, if you should happen to meet
-with that cousin of his that did it, you can put out your anger upon
-her. He left no particulars, poor man. I don’t believe it ever came into
-his head that it might really matter for his poor little girl to have
-friends that would help her on in the world. And to be sure, Milly was
-but a year old when papa died.”</p>
-
-<p>“But this was worth taking some pains and making some inquiries about,”
-said Harry. “Where did those friends live? What county did he belong
-to?&mdash;you must surely have known.”</p>
-
-<p>“We knew no more than I tell you, Langham, dear. My poor dear Connor, as
-I tell you, never put any faith in it. There’s some books in the house
-belonging to him, that I was always to have sought out and given to
-Milly. I’ll get them to-day, if I can, before you leave. But if you’ll
-trust my opinion, I don’t think it’s the least good in the world. At the
-best, he was but a distant cousin, if all was true, he said; and spoke
-about his little girl proving heir after all, more in spite against her
-that jilted him than anything else. Why, all he had, poor man, did not
-come to but a trifle over five hundred pounds;&mdash;I mean&mdash;dear! what a
-memory I have!&mdash;<i>three</i> hundred pounds, for poor dear Connor put a large
-slice to Milly’s little fortune. Now that’s all I have to tell you. But
-I’ll get Milly her father’s books.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_66" id="page_66"></a>{66}</span></p>
-
-<p>And I have not the least doubt it was all she had to tell us; every word
-she knew. But that very night we got the books just as we were packing
-up. They were as damp and mouldy as they could be, odd volumes of one
-thing and another; one of Shakespeare, with Richard A. Mortimer written
-in it, and “Haworth” underneath; another was Hudibras; another was an
-old French school copy of Racine, with “Sarah Mortimer, the Park, May,
-1810,” upon it, and in it an old pencil drawing all curled up at the
-edges, and rubbed out in some places, of a great house with trees and
-gardens round it, and a young lady mounting her horse at the door;
-scribbled at the corner of this, in a strange scratchy hand, was a kind
-of little inscription: “Sarah as I saw her last, and the Park&mdash;I wonder
-was I in love with them both? R. M.” The last of this was evidently
-written at a later time than the first. But that was all. Not a single
-clue to papa’s grand friends, who they were, or where they were. I dare
-say there are a hundred thousand parks in England, and, unless we could
-find it out from the drawing (which, I am sorry to say, was a very poor
-one. Harry, being disappointed and spiteful, took the pains to point out
-to me that the house was leaning up against the trees, and off the
-perpendicular, and that the young lady was on the wrong side of the
-horse), there seemed no information at all in poor papa’s books. Poor
-papa! it was very cruel of Harry! most likely his heart was breaking
-when he drew “Sarah as I saw her last.” Do you say he might have put her
-on the right side of the horse for all that, you cruel savage? Perhaps
-there were tears in his eyes all the time, Mr. Langham. <i>You</i> are not
-sentimental. I dare say you would not cry if you were looking at <i>me</i>
-for the last time. But that has nothing to do with poor papa. I have no
-doubt he must have been a very feeling man.</p>
-
-<p>However, we did not make anything out of the books; and I am sure I
-should not have said half so much about it except that Harry really took
-an interest in it which quite surprised me. I never expected to turn out
-an heiress, nor cared much whether I had grand relations or not; and a
-journey with Harry in that sweet September weather was far too
-delightful to let me think of anything else. It was as good as a wedding
-tour.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_67" id="page_67"></a>{67}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VI-b" id="Chapter_VI-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> regiment was ordered to Edinburgh; and it was there we went
-accordingly in that lovely autumn weather. I don’t think Harry quite
-liked to hear me talk of Nurse Richards and the way she brought me up;
-but he was pleased enough to take walks with me all round that castle
-which was the centre of my recollections. At first we used to spend
-every leisure moment we had wandering up and down the steep walks, and
-always pausing to look up at the great precipice of rock. It was like a
-friend to me, rising up out of the soft tiers and green slopes of grass:
-the two churches down at its foot looking so mean and tiny beside it.
-People should not build churches there. I almost think even a great
-noble cathedral would look shabby under the shadow of that rock; and
-only to think of that dreadful West Church and the other one! how they
-can dare venture to stand there and don’t move and crumble down of
-themselves! They would if there was any feeling in stone.</p>
-
-<p>We got our lodgings out to the south of the castle, two nice little cosy
-rooms. It was not a fashionable quarter, to be sure, nor were the rooms
-very grandly furnished; but we had <i>such</i> views from the windows! The
-Castle Rock, with its buildings jutting on the very edge, and yet
-standing so strong and firm; the harsh ridge of the crags behind, and
-the misty lion-head over all, gazing like a sentinel towards the sea.
-And it was not these only, but all the clouds about them. Such dramas
-every day! Now all sweet and serene like happiness; now all thundery and
-ominous like a great misfortune; now brightened up with streaks of home
-and comfort; now settling down leaden-dark, and heavy like death itself,
-or despair. I never was poetical that I know of; but it was like reading
-a very great poem every day to live in that little house at Bruntsfield.
-Harry enjoyed it as much as I did. We lived the very cheapest that ever
-was. We never went out anywhere; for Harry had always a little society
-with his brother officers and at mess, and I had him, and old Mrs.
-Saltoun, our landlady, to talk to when he was away, and was as happy as
-the day was long. All the pleasantest recollections I had as a child
-were connected with this place; and when I looked out of my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_68" id="page_68"></a>{68}</span> window at
-night and saw the lights shining up on the top of the Castle Rock, and
-the stars higher still glimmering out above, or the moon revealing out
-of the dark where Arthur’s Seat lay quiet, couched like a sentinel; and
-heard the recall trumpet pealing out high into the clear air, my mind
-used to wander from dear Nurse Richards, and the stories she used to
-tell me, back to my great happiness now. When Harry found me at the
-window crying to myself, he thought I was low-spirited. Low-spirited! I
-was crying for pure happiness; because I was too happy to tell it, or
-put it in words, or show it anyhow else.</p>
-
-<p>All this time we had never heard a single word from Harry’s uncle who
-promised him the present on his birthday. This uncle was the only
-relation he had except some cousins whom he did not know much about. He
-was very near as friendless as I was; only that he remembered his father
-and mother perfectly well, and had been brought up at home, which made a
-great difference. Harry of course had written to his uncle to say what
-had occurred; and he had never answered the letter. He was an old
-bachelor, and rather rich; and if he did not take offence, and nothing
-happened, it had always been supposed that Harry was to be his heir;
-though I did not know this till after we were married and could not
-untie ourselves, however angry any one might be.</p>
-
-<p>One day, however, Harry came home to me with a wonderful face. I could
-not tell, though I knew what his face meant pretty well by this time,
-what it was that day; whether he was angry, or disappointed, or vexed,
-or only bursting with laughter. It turned out he was all of them
-together. He tossed a letter on the table, and laughed and stamped his
-foot, as if he did not quite know what he was doing.</p>
-
-<p>“By Jove, it’s too absurd!” cried Harry; for I could not get him to
-leave off that stupid exclamation: but I thought it must be a little
-serious too, as well as absurd, by the look in his eye.</p>
-
-<p>And what should it be but a letter from his uncle, declaring that,
-though nothing else would have induced him to do such a thing, yet, to
-punish Harry’s rashness and presumption, he had made up his mind to a
-step which everybody assured him was the most prudent thing he could do,
-and which it was only a pity he had not thought of sooner; this was, in
-short, that he had married as well as Harry. Enclosed his nephew would
-find cards addressed to his new wife: and, as for the expenses of such
-an undertaking, he assured Harry that it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_69" id="page_69"></a>{69}</span> would be ridiculous to look
-for any assistance to a man in similar circumstances with himself. On a
-clear understanding of which he could certainly afford to wish his
-nephew joy,&mdash;but nothing else,&mdash;for he meant now to have heirs of his
-own.</p>
-
-<p>Harry stared at me while I read this letter with a sort of angry fun and
-indignation in his face, which would turn either one way or another, I
-could see, according to how I received it. I cannot say I was the least
-disappointed. I threw down the letter, and clapped my hands and laughed.
-It was the most whimsical letter you could imagine; and, as for the
-birthday present, or any other assistance to us, I had never looked for
-it since Harry wrote what we had done.</p>
-
-<p>“Weel, weel, it’s no ill news, that’s a comfort. But, Captain, you
-maunna come in rampaging and disturbing the lady when we’re no looking
-for you,” said Mrs. Saltoun, who had been sitting with me. “Now I’ll
-gang my ways ben the house; and you ken where to find me, Mrs. Langham,
-my dear, when you want me again.”</p>
-
-<p>I had it on my lips to beg her not to go away, but stopped in time, for
-Harry naturally, though he likes her very well, does not take comfort in
-the good old lady as I do. When she was gone he laughed out again, but a
-little abruptly, and not as if he felt particularly happy about the
-news.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, Harry, what’s the matter; did you expect anything?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, not exactly, to be sure,” said Harry, with a half-ashamed look;
-“except the first moment when I recognised the old fellow’s handwriting.
-I did think it would be pleasant, Milly darling, to get some little
-comforts about you just now.”</p>
-
-<p>“I have quantities of comforts,” said I; “and such a jewel of an old
-lady to look after me when you are away. There is nobody in the world so
-lucky as me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Lucky!” said Harry, with a little shout. “If you should turn out a
-great heiress to be sure; that’s always a possible contingency,
-according to your Aunt Connor. Otherwise, with all sorts of things going
-to happen to us, and only my subaltern’s pay&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Langham, you forget my five-and-twenty pounds a year!” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>And how do you think the savage answered me? “The old witch!” exclaimed
-Harry, “to think of her stopping your simple mouth with that ten pounds!
-I’d have seen her ducked,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_70" id="page_70"></a>{70}</span> or burned, or whatever they do to witches,
-before I’d have taken it!&mdash;and cheating you out of your little morsel of
-fortune! How long do you suppose you’ll get your five-and-twenty
-pounds?”</p>
-
-<p>“As long as poor Aunt Connor can pay it,” said I. “Things might come in
-the way to be sure; but she <i>means</i> to pay it regularly, and always will
-when she can. What makes you so discontented, Harry? We have enough for
-to-day, and God knows all about to-morrow.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes! but He’s far off, Milly, to a poor fellow like me. How can I
-tell that He cares much what’s to become of us,&mdash;unless, indeed, it were
-for your sake.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harry, Harry! how dare you say so!” cried I. “And see how good He
-has been to us two orphans. Neither of us had any home or any one
-belonging to us; and only look round you <i>now</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>Do you think it was not very much that he had to look round upon?&mdash;a
-little room, low-roofed, and humbly furnished. It was nothing to any
-other man or woman in the world; but we were two of us together in it,
-and it was our home. Could I help but cry when I thought how different I
-was from Aunt Connor’s niece in the nursery? And Harry was just as
-thankful as I was, though he had his little pretences of grumbling like
-this now and then. Does anybody think he was really anxious, either
-about his uncle’s present that was never to come now, or my five hundred
-pounds that was not much more to be relied on, or what was to happen to
-us? No! he was no more anxious than I was; only now and then he
-pretended to make a little fuss about it, and to be wanting something
-better for me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_71" id="page_71"></a>{71}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VII-b" id="Chapter_VII-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span><span class="smcap">E</span> were nearly two years in Edinburgh; and it was there, of course, that
-baby Harry came into the world. He made a great difference in many
-things. I could not go out to walk with Harry any longer; I could not
-even sit and talk with him so much, and, however economical I was, it
-could not be denied that already three of us cost more than two of us
-had done. It is strange enough, but still it is true, baby, bless him,
-brought thorns upon the roses that came with him into the world. Harry
-had not lived in a family since his father died long ago; he had lived a
-young man’s life, and had his own fastidious fancies like (I suppose)
-most young men. He was very much delighted when baby came, but he was
-not so much delighted when baby was always with us, and occupying almost
-all my time and attention; and it fretted him when he saw traces about
-that once nice cosy sitting-room, which was nursery now as well as
-dining-room and drawing-room; even baby’s basket, all trimmed with white
-muslin and pink ribbons, which he thought very pretty at first, annoyed
-him now when he saw it about; and when I had to stop talking to him in
-order to see after baby, he would first laugh, then bite his lip, then
-whistle, then go to the window, and after a while say he had better
-smoke his cigar outside while I was so busy. I dare say this cost me a
-few tears, for of course I thought there was no occupation in the world
-so sweet as nursing baby, and was sadly disappointed just at first that
-Harry could not be content to watch his pretty ways every moment as I
-did; however, I had to make up my mind to it. And as it was my business
-to mind Harry as well as his son, I had to think it all over in my mind
-what was to be done. It was hard work considering what was best; for to
-think of getting a servant upon our small means went to my very heart.
-At last one day I formed a great resolution, and took Mrs. Saltoun into
-my confidence.</p>
-
-<p>“Here is how it is,” said I, “I must have a maid to help me with baby
-when Mr. Langham is at home. Men can’t understand things; they think it
-so odd to see one always with a baby on one’s lap; especially when they
-have not been accustomed to anything of the sort. Mrs. Saltoun, I shall
-be obliged to have a maid.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_72" id="page_72"></a>{72}</span></p>
-
-<p>“I told you so, my dear, the very day the lammie was born,” said Mrs.
-Saultoun; “but I’m one that never presses my advice. I know experience
-is far more effectual than anything I can say.”</p>
-
-<p>“But look here&mdash;I can’t afford it&mdash;it’s a disgrace to think of such a
-thing with our small means, while I am perfectly strong and quite able
-to take care of him myself; but what can I do?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear,” said Mrs. Saltoun, “poverty’s dreadful, and debt is worse;
-but it’s heaviest of all the three to make a young married man
-discontented with his ain house. Dinna be affronted; I’m no saying a
-word! the Captain’s just extraordinary; but he’s no the lad to be second
-to the baby for a’ that; and it’s nothing to sigh about. Thae’s just the
-kind of troubles every woman has to set her face to, as sure’s she’s
-born. My dear, however much ye canna afford, you’ll have to contrive.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, I have been thinking. If you will promise faithfully never to
-tell anybody, and keep my secret, and above everything, whatever you do,
-never let Harry know!” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll promise,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “but I’ll not promise to give my
-consent unless it’s feasible and in reason; and no unbecoming the
-Captain’s bonnie young wife.”</p>
-
-<p>“The Captain’s wife!&mdash;ah, if he were only the Captain!&mdash;but he’s just a
-subaltern yet,” said I; “however, you will be disappointed if you think
-I am meaning anything great. I can’t do anything to bring in money, and
-I am sure Harry would not let me if I could. No&mdash;it’s only&mdash;oh, Mrs.
-Saltoun, if you would help me!&mdash;I could get up all the linen myself. I
-<i>can</i> do it, though you may not think so. All Harry’s things that he is
-so particular about, the laundress here never pleases him; and baby’s
-frocks. I think if you would contrive to help me, I could save so many
-shillings a week. I’ll do those pretty collars of yours and your fine
-caps, and you shall see how pretty they’ll look.”</p>
-
-<p>“But your pretty bits of hands, my dear?” said Mrs. Saltoun; “a small
-matter of work betrays itself on a lady’s hands that’s not used to do
-anything. They would let out your secret, however well I kept it. What
-would you do with your hands?”</p>
-
-<p>“But it will not hurt my hands&mdash;such beautiful clean work&mdash;it is quite a
-lady’s work,” said I; “and then I can put gloves on when I am done, and
-get some of the kalydor stuff. Besides, it will be only one day in the
-week.”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Saltoun sat thinking it over, but she could not say a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_73" id="page_73"></a>{73}</span> single word
-against it. If I couldn’t have done it, it might have been slow work
-learning; but I had a genius for it! Ah, hadn’t I ironed out Aunt
-Connor’s lace much oftener than the clear-starcher did! So here was
-something at once that could be saved; and nobody knows how dreadful the
-laundress’s bill is when there’s a baby in the house; so now I thought I
-might venture to try and look for a maid.</p>
-
-<p>“My great terror was you were thinking of giving lessons, or selling
-some trumpery of fancy work, begging your pardon, my dear,” said Mrs.
-Saltoun; “for the young ladies now-a-days would a’ break their necks to
-<i>make</i> money, before they would take a step out of their road to save
-it; and indeed, you’re not far wrong that clear-starching is lady’s
-work. It takes nice fingers, dainty, clean, and light. I was in an awfu’
-fright it was lessons on the piano, or handscreens to take into the
-Repository. But it’s really very reasonable for a young creature of your
-years; if you’re quite clear in your own mind you can take the
-responsibility of shirts. Of all the things I’ve seen in my life I canna
-remember that I ever saw a man what you could call perfectly pleased.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am not afraid about that; but remember, you have promised solemnly,
-upon your honour,” said I, “never, whatever you do, to tell Harry!”</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll keep my word. But what put it into your head, a sensible young
-woman like you, to go and run away with the like of a young sodger
-officer, that everybody knows have scarcely enough for themselves, let
-alone a wife? And if it’s hard work now, what will it be when you’ve a
-large family? and how will you ever live or keep your heart if he goes
-to war?”</p>
-
-<p>“Mrs. Saltoun, don’t speak!” cried I; “what is the use of making me
-miserable? He is not going to the war to-day. It is not certain there is
-to be a war at all. Why do you put such dreadful things in my mind? If
-he goes I’ll have to bear it like the other soldiers’ wives; but do you
-suppose I have strength to bear it now beforehand, before the time? God
-does not promise anybody so much. If such a dreadful, dreadful thing
-should be, I’ll get strength for it that day.”</p>
-
-<p>The good old lady did not say a word, but stroked my hand that was
-resting on the table in a kind of comforting, coaxing way. I looked up
-very much alarmed, but I could not see anything particular in her face.
-I suppose she was sorry for me only in a general sort of way; because I
-was young, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_74" id="page_74"></a>{74}</span> poor, and just beginning my troubles. So strange! I was
-pitying her all the same for being old, and nearly at the end of hers.
-How different things must seem at that other end of the road! Some of
-her children were dead, some married, close at hand so far as space was
-concerned, but far distant lost in their own life. I dare say when she
-liked she could go back into memory and be again a young wife like me,
-or an anxious middle-aged mother like her own daughter-in-law&mdash;and here
-it had ended, leaving her all alone. But she was very cheerful and
-contented all the same.</p>
-
-<p>Harry came in while I was busy with planning about my new maid. After I
-had decided that she would have to sleep somewhere, and wondered why
-neither Mrs. Saltoun nor myself had ever thought of that, I had begun to
-wonder what sort of a person I should get; whether, perhaps, she would
-be a dear good friend-servant, or one of the silly girls one hears
-about. If she were a silly girl, even, there might be good in her. But
-here Harry came in, and my thoughts were all dissipated. He looked a
-little excited, and had a paper in his hand, out of which he seemed just
-about to read me something. Then he paused all at once, looked first at
-me and then at baby’s cradle, and his face clouded all over. I got
-terribly alarmed; I rushed up to him and begged him to tell me, for
-pity, what it was.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s nothing but fancy,” said Harry. “I was going to tell you great
-news, my Milly darling; but it came over me, somehow, what you would do,
-and who would take care of you if you should be left alone with your
-baby; even though I were not killed.”</p>
-
-<p>“God would take care of us,” I cried out sharp, being in a kind of
-agony. “Say it out&mdash;you are going to the war?”</p>
-
-<p>“No, no; nothing of the sort; only look here. It has thrown us all into
-great excitement; but we are not under orders, nor like to be,” said
-Harry. “Don’t tremble&mdash;we are all safe yet, you foolish Milly. Look
-here.”</p>
-
-<p>Though I was leaning upon him, and he held the paper before my eyes, I
-could not read a word. But I guessed what it was. It was the
-Proclamation of War.</p>
-
-<p>“Come out with me and hear it read at the Cross. It is to be done at
-twelve o’clock. Come,” said Harry, coaxing and soothing me; “it is
-something to see. Pluck up a heart, Milly! Come and hear it
-courageously, like a soldier’s wife. But, oh! I forgot baby,” he said,
-stopping short all at once with a soft of half-annoyed laugh.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_75" id="page_75"></a>{75}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Baby shan’t prevent me this time,” I cried; for what between this
-dreadful news and the excitement in Harry’s mind, and the sudden way he
-stopped when he recollected I couldn’t rightly go out with him, I was
-desperate. “Mrs. Saltoun will keep him till I come back; and he will not
-wake, perhaps, for an hour.”</p>
-
-<p>The old lady came when I asked her; and was quite pleased to sit down by
-the cradle while I tied on my bonnet with my trembling hands. Harry was
-very kind&mdash;very pleased. We went along winding up the steep paths,
-through the gardens to the Castle, my favourite walk, and into that
-long, grand, noisy old street with the yellow haze lingering between the
-deep houses, down the long slope towards Holyrood. I could see the
-people clearly enough about the streets, the little groups all clustered
-about the outside stairs, and the stir of something going to happen. But
-I could not look at the official people coming to say it again and make
-it more certain. If the trumpet had been a gun and killed somebody, my
-heart could scarcely have leaped more. Harry’s cheek flushed up; and I
-could almost fancy I felt the blood stir and swell in the arm I was
-leaning on. He was a soldier, and he forgot me as he held up his head
-and listened. Just then I could not hold up my head. The trumpet sounded
-to me, somehow, as if it came lonely out of the distance over some
-battle where men were dying who had wives and babies at home. A woman
-stood before me crying, and drew my attention for a moment. She dared
-say out what was in her heart, because, though perhaps she was no
-poorer, she was not a lady like me. “Eh, weary on them! it’s your man
-and my man that’s to pay for their fancies,” she was saying among her
-tears. “Glad! do ye ask me to be glad at sound o’ war? If our regiment
-doesna gang the day, it’ll gang <i>some</i> day. I’ve five weans that canna
-fend for themsels’, and I’m a sodger’s wife. God help us a’!” I dropped
-my veil over my face to hide my eyes from Harry, and slid my hand out of
-his arm&mdash;he, all excited in his soldier-mind, scarcely knowing it&mdash;to
-speak to my neighbour who had spoken to my heart. I had nothing to give
-her but my hand and my own troubled fellow-feeling, too deep and sore to
-be called sympathy. “For I am a soldier’s wife, too; and God help us, as
-you say!” I cried in her ear. She wiped off her tears, poor soul, to
-look at me as Harry drew me away. She and the other woman with her
-whispered about us as we went away through the crowd. They forgot their
-own anxiety to pity “the poor young thing, the young lieutenant’s wife.”
-I know they did,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_76" id="page_76"></a>{76}</span> the kind creatures; for one of them said so another
-day.&mdash;God help us all, soldiers’ wives!</p>
-
-<p>“But do you know this is like a little coward, Milly darling,” said
-Harry, as we walked home, when he found I could not speak, “and foolish
-as well. <i>We</i> are not going to the wars.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you are not going to-day, you will go some day,” I cried, with a
-sob. She said true, poor soul; I felt it in my heart.</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure we shall,” said Harry; “and you care neither for glory nor
-promotion, nor to have your husband do his duty, you poor-spirited
-Milly! But you can’t act Lady Fanshawe now; you will have baby to
-comfort you at home.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean that you are going?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“Hush, hush! why this is like a child. I am not going. But, Milly,
-understand; if I don’t go some day, I shall be wretched. Make up your
-mind; you are a soldier’s wife.”</p>
-
-<p>So I went home with this in my heart. Oh, my poor little economies, my
-little vulgar cares about the housekeeping! And perhaps he was going
-away from me to be killed. But hush, hush! I could not be Lady Fanshawe
-any more, now that there were three of us in the world; and Harry said
-the truest love would stay at home and pray.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VIII-b" id="Chapter_VIII-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> very next day after that, while I was singing baby to sleep, sitting
-all alone by the fire, there was a soft knock at the door. I said, “Come
-in!” thinking it was Mrs. Saltoun, when there suddenly appeared before
-me a figure as different as possible from the nice little cosy figure of
-our good old landlady. This was an overgrown girl, fourteen or
-thereabouts, in the strangest scanty dress. A printed cotton frock, very
-washed out and dingy, so short as to leave a large piece of legs,
-clothed in blue-grey stockings, uncomfortably visible;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_77" id="page_77"></a>{77}</span> very red arms
-that somewhat looked as if they were all elbow and fingers; a great
-checked blue and white pinafore, much washed out like the frock, into
-the breast of which the hands wore thrust now and then by way of relief
-to the awkwardness of their owner; hair disposed to be red, and
-superabundant in quantity, thrust back as far as was practicable under
-the shade of a queer big bonnet, not only a full-sized woman’s bonnet,
-but one ten years old, and made in the dimensions common at that distant
-period. She stood at the door looking at me in a perfect agony of
-innocent awkwardness, shuffling one foot over the other, twisting her
-red fingers, holding down her bashful head, but all the time staring
-with wistful eyes at baby and myself, and so sincere a look of awe and
-admiration that of course I was touched by it. She did not say a word,
-but dropped a foolish curtsey, and grew violently red standing at the
-door. I could not think what such a strange apparition wanted with me.</p>
-
-<p>“What do you want, my good girl?” said I at last.</p>
-
-<p>“The mistress said I might come,” with another curtsey. Then, after a
-violent effort, “They said you was wanting a lass.”</p>
-
-<p>A lass! Here she was then, the first applicant for the new situation of
-baby’s personal attendant! Oh dear, what a spectre! I had to pause a
-little before I could answer her. Really, though I was not much disposed
-to laughter, the idea was too ludicrous to be treated gravely.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, I want a lass;’ but not one so young as you,” said I. “I want
-somebody who can take care of my baby. Who sent you to me?”</p>
-
-<p>“The mistress said I might come,” answered the apparition; “I can keep
-wee babies fine.”</p>
-
-<p>“You can keep wee babies fine! How old are you?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m just fourteen since I was born, but some folk count different. I’m
-awfu’ auld other ways,” said my extraordinary visitor, with a kind of
-grotesque sigh.</p>
-
-<p>The creature roused my interest with her odd answers and wistful round
-eyes. “Shut the door and come here,” said I. “Do you know me? and what
-tempted you to think <i>you</i> could do for my servant? Were you ever in a
-place before?”</p>
-
-<p>“No; but I’ve seen you gaun by, the Captain and you, and I would be
-awfu’ glad if you would let me come. There’s plenty things I can do if I
-could get leave to try,” cried the girl with a wonderful commotion in
-her voice. “I’ve nursed<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_78" id="page_78"></a>{78}</span> bairns since ever I was a bairn myself, and I
-can wash, and I can sew. Oh, leddy, tak me! I’ll no eat very much, and I
-dinna want no wage; and I’ll learn everything you tell me, for the
-mistress says I’m awfu’ quick at learning; and I’ll serve you hand and
-foot, nicht and day!”</p>
-
-<p>“But, my poor girl,” said I, quite amazed by this burst of eloquence,
-“why do you want so much to come to me?”</p>
-
-<p>Upon this another extraordinary change came upon my would-be maid. She
-fidgeted about, she blushed fiery red, she thrust her red hands into the
-bosom of her pinafore, she stood upon one heavy foot, making all sorts
-of wonderful twists and contortions with the other. At last in gulps,
-and with every demonstration of the most extreme confusion and
-shame-facedness, burst forth the following avowal. “Oh! because you’re
-rael bonnie; and you smile&mdash;and oh, I would like to come!”</p>
-
-<p>It was an extraordinary kind of flattery, certainly; but I felt my
-cheeks flush up, and I cannot deny my heart was touched. I remember too,
-when I was a little girl, taking fancies to people; I believe I might
-have fallen in love with a lady and gone and offered myself to be her
-servant, as likely as not if I could have done it. The uncouth creature
-no more meant to flatter me than to offend me. She was deeply ashamed of
-having made her confession. Her shame, and her admiration, and her
-passionate childish feeling quite went to my heart.</p>
-
-<p>“You are a very strange girl,” said I. “What is your name, and where do
-you live? and do your parents know what you want with me?”</p>
-
-<p>“They ca’ me Leczie Bayne. My father died six months since,” said the
-girl, falling into a kind of vacant tone after her excitement, as if
-this account of herself was something necessary to go through, but not
-otherwise interesting. “I never had any mother, only a stepmother, and
-lots of little bairns. She’s gaun back to her ain place, among her
-friends, and I’m to be left, for I’ve naebody belonging to me. We live
-down the road, and I used ay to see you gaun by. Whiles you used to
-smile at me, no thinking; but I ay minded. And the folk said you we’re
-awfu’ happy with the Captain, and had a kind look for everybody,&mdash;and
-oh, leddy, I’ve naebody belonging to me!”</p>
-
-<p>I could have cried for her as she stood there, awkward, before the
-little fire, with great blobs of tears dropping off her cheeks, rubbing
-them away with her poor red hands. I knew no more how to resist her, in
-that appeal she made to my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_79" id="page_79"></a>{79}</span> happiness, than if I had been a child like a
-baby in my lap. The tears came into my eyes, in spite of myself. In the
-impulse of the moment I had nearly broken forth and confided to her my
-terror and grief about Harry, and this dreadful war that was beginning.
-She took possession of me, like the soldier’s wife, with a nearer fellow
-feeling than sympathy. Poor, forlorn, uncouth creature, she stood before
-me like my old self, strangely transmogrified, but never to be denied. I
-could not answer her&mdash;for what could I say? Could I cast her off, poor
-child, led by the instincts of her heart to me of all people? And oh
-dear, dear, what a ridiculous contrast to all the passionate, elevated
-feeling of her story, could I take her all in her checked pinafore and
-blue stockings, a pathetic grotesque apparition, to be baby’s nurse and
-my little maid?</p>
-
-<p>There never was a harder dilemma: and imagination, you may be sure, did
-its very best to make things worse, by bringing up before me the pretty,
-tidy, fresh little maid I had been dreaming of, with a white apron and a
-little cap, and plump arms to hold my baby in. What could I do? and oh,
-if I could not resist my fate, what would Harry say to me? How he would
-shrug his shoulders and admire my good taste; how he would look at her
-in his curious way as if she were a strange animal; how he would laugh
-at me and my soft heart! I got quite restless as the creature stood
-there opposite to me, twisting her poor foot and clasping her hands hard
-as she thrust them into the bosom of her pinafore. I could not stand
-against her wistful eyes. I grew quite desperate looking at her. Could I
-ever trust my child in those long red arms that looked all elbow&mdash;and
-yet how could I send her away?</p>
-
-<p>“Lizzie, my poor girl,” cried I, remonstrating, “don’t you see I am
-very, very sorry for you? But look here now: my baby is very young, not
-three months old, and I could never dare trust him to a young girl like
-you. You must see that very well, a girl with so much sense; and
-besides, I want somebody who knows how to do things. I don’t think I
-could teach you myself; and besides&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here I fairly broke down, stopped by the flood of arguments which rose
-one after another, not to be defeated, in Lizzie’s round anxious eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“But I dinna need to learn,” she cried out whenever my voice faltered
-and gave her a chance. “I ken! I would keep that bonnie baby from
-morning to night far sooner than play;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_80" id="page_80"></a>{80}</span> if practice learns folk, I’ve
-been learning and learning a’ my life; and I’m that careful I would
-rather break every joint in a’ my body than have a scratch on his little
-finger; and I can hem that you wouldna see the stitches; and I can sing
-to him when he’s wakin’, and redd up the house when he’s in his bed. I’m
-no telling lees; and I’ll serve you on my knees, and never have a
-thought but how to please you, oh, leddy, if you’ll let me come!”</p>
-
-<p>Could I resist that? I do not believe Harry himself could if he had
-heard her. I gave in because I could not help myself. I did it in shame
-and desperation, but what could I do? She was too many for me.</p>
-
-<p>“Go down stairs and ask Mrs. Saltoun to come up,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>She went off in a moment, almost before I could look up, and vanished
-out of the room without any noise&mdash;I suppose because of the high
-excitement the poor child was in. Mrs. Saltoun came up rather flurried,
-casting very strange looks at Lizzie. When I saw the dear prim old lady
-beside that extraordinary creature, and saw the looks she cast at her,
-the ludicrous part of it seized hold upon me, and I was seized with such
-a fit of laughing that I could scarcely speak.</p>
-
-<p>“Mrs. Saltoun,” said I, “I don’t know really what you will think of me.
-I am going to take her for my maid.”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Saltoun looked at me and looked at Lizzie, who made her a curtsey.
-She thought I had gone out of my senses. “It’s to be hoped it’s for
-<i>lady’s</i> maid and not for bairn’s maid then,” she said, with dreadful
-sarcasm. If Mrs. Saltoun was so severe, what would Harry say.</p>
-
-<p>“She is an orphan and all alone; and she says she understands about
-children,” said I, humbly, in self-defence.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, if you please, I can keep bairns fine,” said Lizzie; “if ye’ll ask
-the neebors they’ll a’ tell; and oh, if the leddy will try me, dinna
-turn her against me again! I’m no a lassie in mysel. I’m awfu’ auld in
-mysel. Afore harm would come to the baby I would die.”</p>
-
-<p>“And, my lass, what good would it do the lady if ye were to die,” said
-Mrs. Saltoun entering the lists, “after maybe killin’ her bonnie bairn?”</p>
-
-<p>“I would a’ fa’ in pieces first!” cried Lizzie. “I would let them burn
-spunks in my fingers, or crush my feet as they did langsyne; there’s no
-a creature in the world I wouldna fecht and fell afore harm came to the
-wean!”</p>
-
-<p>Mrs. Saltoun was not prepared for such an address; nor for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_81" id="page_81"></a>{81}</span> the true
-fire of enthusiasm and valour that burned through Lizzie’s tears; but
-she did not give in. I had the satisfaction to look on and listen while
-the old lady demonstrated in the clearest way that she would never do,
-without any particular regard for her feelings; and then quietly enjoyed
-the triumph when Lizzie burst forth upon Mrs. Saltoun, and in two
-minutes routed her, horse and foot. Half an hour after Mrs. Saltoun and
-I sat contriving what dress could be got up on the spur of the moment to
-make the creature presentable; and that very night, while Harry was at
-mess, she sat in the little kitchen downstairs helping to make up a
-fresh new printed dress for herself in a fashion which justified part of
-her assertions, and with a rapidity which I could explain only under the
-supposition that excitement had still forcible possession of her. I
-confess I was myself a little excited; though she was only a girl of
-fourteen and a servant, not to say the most grotesque and
-awkward-looking person imaginable, it is wonderful what an effect this
-sudden contact with so strange and characteristic a creature immediately
-had. My fears about the war faded off for the moment. I could not help
-being quite occupied with thoughts about the new-comer:&mdash;whether, after
-all, I ever would venture to trust baby with her,&mdash;what Harry would say
-when he saw that odd apparition;&mdash;whether I had only been very
-foolish;&mdash;whether I might have resisted. Lizzie Bayne had made herself
-the heroine of that night.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IX-b" id="Chapter_IX-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IX.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">WO</span> days after, when Lizzie made her appearance with a decently made
-dress, long enough and wide enough to suit her stature, whatever might
-be her age; with a clean collar, a white apron, and smooth hair, she
-looked quite presentable. I cannot say she was good-looking; but,
-undeniably, she looked a capable creature, and with her lively brown
-eyes, good colour, and clear complexion might improve even in looks<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_82" id="page_82"></a>{82}</span> by
-and by. But nobody could do anything for that grotesque awkwardness,
-which belonged to Lizzie’s age, perhaps, rather than to herself. She
-still stood upon one foot, and twisted the other round the leg that
-supported her. She worked uneasily with her big hands, making vain
-efforts to thrust them into the pinafore which recent improvements had
-swept away; and she still hung her head in agonies of awkwardness and
-self-consciousness. A creature so sensitively aware of observation, how
-could she be trusted with the most precious baby in the world? I
-repeated this five hundred times the first morning; but never once after
-I had fairly ventured to place the child in her arms.</p>
-
-<p>“What on earth is that sprite doing here? Has Mrs. Saltoun taken her in,
-or where does she come from?” said Harry the first day. I felt quite
-piqued and affronted. I felt myself bound to defend her with all the
-earnestness in the world.</p>
-
-<p>“Sprite! What do you mean? Why, that is my new maid, Henry, that I told
-you of; and a capital maid she is,” said I, firing up with all the
-consciousness of not having taken the wisest step in the world.</p>
-
-<p>“Your new maid!” And Harry said, “Oh!” in the most aggravating manner in
-the world. I am obliged to confess that Lizzie’s arrival, so much out of
-the ordinary way, and the excitement of getting her up, of making her
-fit to appear, and of testing her qualities, had very much aroused my
-mind out of the heavy thoughts I had been entertaining a few days ago;
-so that I was no longer so subdued nor so entirely devoted to Harry but
-what I could be provoked with him now and then.</p>
-
-<p>“There is nothing to cry out about; she is rather young, to be sure, and
-not the most graceful figure in the world; but she’s good and grateful,
-poor child, and I am quite content.”</p>
-
-<p>“You must recollect though, Milly, that we can’t afford to keep anybody
-for charity,” said Harry; “she does not look very gainly; and if she
-can’t save you the half of your present trouble, I’ll turn out a tyrant,
-I warn you, and send her away.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am quite the best judge, you may be sure,” said I, with a little
-internal tremor; “and I tell you I am satisfied. If you attempt to be
-tyrannical, it is you who shall be sent away.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, Milly darling, how’s that! I shall be sent away soon enough,” said
-Harry, with a little sigh. “I have been thinking that all over since we
-talked of it the other day. What, you’ve forgot, have you, Milly? Thank
-heaven! I was only afraid you were fretting over it, and thinking where
-I should send you to be safe when the time came and I had to go away.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_83" id="page_83"></a>{83}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harry, how cruel!” said I. “I had got it out of my mind just then.
-Now, I shall never forget it again. And where could you send me? What
-would it matter, except to be near at hand for the post, and get the
-earliest news.”</p>
-
-<p>“Unless you were to go to your Aunt Connor; poor Milly,” said he with a
-pitiful look at me.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you got your orders?” cried I, clasping my hands.</p>
-
-<p>He said, “Nonsense!” getting up hurriedly. “Indeed, Milly, you must
-consider this question without thinking it is all over the moment I
-speak of it; and don’t burden yourself with an unsuitable maid. You
-know, whether we go to the Crimea or not, we are likely very soon to go
-somewhere. The regiment cannot be long here.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then, Harry, if there is nothing certain don’t let us talk of it,” said
-I; “when one’s heart is to be broken, one cannot keep always
-anticipating the moment.” “Don’t make any arrangements; when it comes,
-that will be time enough. I shall care about nothing but letters. So
-long as I can have letters I shall do.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry stayed, lingering about me before he went out. “I am not so sure
-that the Lady Fanshawe idea is a foolish one after all,” he said after
-awhile. “What fetters you put a man into, you wives and babes! I wish I
-only knew somebody that would be very good to you if I have to go away.
-Nineteen! and to be left all by yourself in the world! It’s hard work,
-Milly, to be a soldier’s wife.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you don’t mean anything particular&mdash;if there’s no orders come&mdash;have
-pity on me, and don’t talk, Harry!” I cried out. “When you must go, I’ll
-bear it. I shall do as well as the other soldiers’ wives. I can never be
-all by myself as long as you are in the world, though you should be ten
-thousand miles away. Don’t talk of it. I shall get strength when the day
-comes; but the day has not come nor the strength; don’t put me to
-needless torture, Harry.”</p>
-
-<p>“I won’t,” he said again, with that little sigh, and went away leaving
-me very miserable. Oh! if all this happy life were to finish and come to
-an end. If I was to waken up some dreadful morning and find him gone,
-and all the light gone out like the light in a dream! I durst not think
-upon it. I got up and rushed about my little occupations. Lizzie came
-upstairs when I was taking baby, who had just woke from his morning
-sleep, out of the cradle. She stood, shy and doubtful, looking at me,
-seeing in a moment that I was not so cheerful as usual. Poor child, with
-a strange self-recollection that was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_84" id="page_84"></a>{84}</span> quite natural, but seemed very odd
-to me, she thought she had something to do with it. Her countenance fell
-directly. She came sidling up to me with her heart in her face. Mrs.
-Saltoun had taught her some faint outlines of common conventional
-civility, and succeeded in substituting “mem” for “leddy” in her style
-of address. She came up to me accordingly, with the tears ready to
-start, and every sign of grieved disappointment and restrained eagerness
-in her face. “Oh, mem,” cried Lizzie, “have I been doing wrong? Are you
-no pleased wi’ me?” The words went to my heart, I cannot tell how. It
-made me see more clearly than a dozen sermons how we were every one of
-us going about in a private little world of our own. To think that her
-shortcomings, the innocent grotesque creature, should throw me into such
-trouble! What a strange unconscious self-estimation that was not
-selfishness! In spite of myself, the load at my heart lightened, when I
-smiled up at the girl.</p>
-
-<p>“Lizzie,” said I on the impulse of the moment, not thinking that I might
-perhaps wound her; “if we did not suit each other, should we quite break
-our hearts?”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie coloured high, made a momentary pause, and dropped her queer
-curtsey, “Eh no, mem, no you; I couldn’t expect it,” said Lizzie, with a
-long sigh. Then, after another pause: “If it was a’ to turn out a dream
-after twa haill days; and, to be sure, it’s three days coming; but if it
-was a’ to come to naething after a’ this,” smoothing down her new dress,
-“and a’ the thoughts I’ve had in my mind, eh me! I think I would have
-nae heart ony mair either to break or bind.”</p>
-
-<p>Now, perhaps there was not very much in these words; but they were so
-exactly what I had been thinking myself, that they seemed to make a new
-link between me and my odd child-maid.</p>
-
-<p>“That is just what I have been thinking&mdash;but with far, far more reason,”
-said I; “for, oh, Lizzie! war’s proclaimed, and Mr. Langham may have to
-leave me; it might happen any day; and what should I do alone?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, mem, dinna greet!” said Lizzie loudly: “dinna let tears fa’ on the
-wee baby; but I ken what you would do. Just nurse the bairn, and pray
-the Lord, and wait. If you were sending me awa’, it would be never to
-come back again; but if the Captain gangs to the wars he’ll come hame a
-great general; maybe he would have a ribbon at his breast and a Sir at
-his name!” cried Lizzie, glowing up suddenly. “Eh, wouldna we a’ be
-proud! You might weary whiles, but the Captain would<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_85" id="page_85"></a>{85}</span> never forget you,
-nor be parted in his heart, if he was ten thousand miles away.”</p>
-
-<p>“You strange little witch,” said I, crying, with the strangest feeling
-of comfort, “you say the very words that come into my heart!”</p>
-
-<p>The creature gave me a bright affectionate look, with tears in her brown
-eyes. “And please can I take baby out for a walk?” she said, immediately
-falling back into her own department, with her little bob of a curtsey.
-“I’ll gang before the windows to let you see how careful I am. It’s the
-bonniest morning ever was. Eh, mem, if you’re pleased, I’ll ay see the
-sun shining,” cried my nursery-maid.</p>
-
-<p>And I actually did trust her with my precious baby, and stood at the
-window watching her with breathless anxiety and satisfaction for a whole
-hour, afraid to lose sight of her for a moment. Steady as a judge walked
-Lizzie, grand and important in her “charge,” disdaining the passing
-appeals of “neighbours,” marching along on the sunny side of the
-way&mdash;for it was already cold enough to make that necessary&mdash;shading the
-child’s eyes with such adroit changes of his drapery and her own,
-preserving him from the wind at the corners, and picking her steps over
-the unequal road with such care and devotion, that I could have run
-downstairs and kissed her on the spot. The sight, somehow, drove half
-the bitterness of my thoughts out of my head. The sky was clear with
-that “shining after rain” which has so much hope and freshness in it.
-The wind was brisk, with plenty of floating clouds to knock about.
-Before us, in the clear air, the castle rock looked almost near enough
-to have touched it, with the sun shining on its bold grey front, and all
-those white puffs of clouds blowing against and around it, like heavenly
-children at their play. How it stood there, everlasting! How the sun
-smiled and caressed those old walls where Harry was, and warmed and
-brightened the cheerful bit of road where, to and fro, before my eyes,
-unconscious in his baby state, went Harry’s son. Ah, me! to-day is
-to-day, if one were to die to-morrow. I was too young to grope about for
-darkness to come, and lose the good of this beautiful hour. Besides,
-does not the good Lord know all about to-morrow? Beginning and end of
-it, one thing with another, it pleases Him. Presently we shall have it,
-and strength for it. So, away till your time, you dark hour! just now it
-is not God, but an enemy who sends you. The light is sweet, and it is a
-pleasant thing to behold the sun.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_86" id="page_86"></a>{86}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_X-b" id="Chapter_X-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter X.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span><span class="smcap">HEN</span> Harry came home that evening, I knew he had something to tell me;
-but after the first start was over, I felt sure it was not anything
-painful from the look of his face. I may venture to say now that he was
-a very handsome young man in those days; but the thing that first drew
-my heart to him was the way he always betrayed himself with his face.
-Whatever he was feeling or thinking, you could tell it by his eyes; and
-if he sometimes happened to say anything he did not think, as happens to
-everybody now and then, his eyes woke up to a kind of sly, half ashamed,
-half amused expression, and let you know he was fibbing in the oddest
-way in the world.</p>
-
-<p>“I almost fell upon a discovery to-night,” said Harry. “What should you
-have thought, Milly darling, if I had brought you home word about your
-father and that estate you are to come heir to? I actually thought I was
-on the scent of it for ten minutes at least.”</p>
-
-<p>“But it was a mistake,” said I, very quietly.</p>
-
-<p>“I confess, so far, it was a mistake; but still we may hear something,”
-said Harry. “You have heard me talk of old Pendleton scores of times.
-Fancy how I looked when he began about Haworth, a little town in
-Yorkshire, all sorts of stories, as if he knew all about it. After I had
-sat out a dozen anecdotes of other people, I asked him if he knew any
-Mortimers there. Oh yes, yes! he said briskly, old Mortimer lived in the
-brick house opposite the church; famous old fellow before he got so very
-rheumatic and useless&mdash;had a son about Pendleton’s own age. And here he
-shook his head: ‘Never did any good, sir! never did any good! Jilted in
-early life, and never got over it.’ You may suppose this made me prick
-up my ears.”</p>
-
-<p>“My father!” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure! it could not be anybody else; but it was your grandfather
-whom old Pendleton would keep talking of. I asked very closely all about
-him. It appears he only died about ten years ago; long after your
-father, Milly, and seems to have been tolerably rich, according to
-Pendleton. There’s none of the family remaining, Pendleton says. The red
-brick house is all falling to ruins; and how the money went, or<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_87" id="page_87"></a>{87}</span> whether
-there was any money, he can’t tell. I have a strong idea of making some
-inquiries about it. Don’t you think it would be worth while?”</p>
-
-<p>“It seems to me of late that you’re always thinking about money. Why is
-it?” said I. “Why should we go and trouble ourselves about people that
-have never inquired after us.”</p>
-
-<p>“You simpleton!” cried Harry. “Who cares whether they like us or no; but
-that red brick cosy house for my Milly darling, and a little comfort to
-console her&mdash;it would take all the pricks out of my pillow when&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t talk, Harry. I’ll not listen to you. I’ll have no inquiries
-made,” cried I, in desperation. “Every time I comfort myself a little
-you pull me back again. To-night I am very happy and content, and don’t
-care for your to-morrows. Be quiet and let my grandfather alone, if I
-ever had one. What do I care for him? He was either in debt and had no
-money to leave, or he was living on an annuity, or he endowed a
-hospital, or something. And the red brick house of course is in
-Chancery. Let the old gentleman alone. I’ll tell you about baby. He
-certainly noticed Mrs. Saltoun’s bird swinging in its cage to-day.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nonsense! Pendleton is to write to his brother, who lives there, and
-ask for all the particulars. He says your grandfather was a character,”
-said Harry. “He belonged to some good family: Welsh, Pendleton
-thinks&mdash;but professed to scorn all that, and called his son after
-Arkwright, the cotton-spinner; that’s what the A. means in your father’s
-name. By Jove! I wouldn’t write myself Richard Arkwright if I could help
-it. What humbug it is giving fellows other people’s names! They must
-have had a fancy for it in those days. Guess what Pendleton’s own name
-is? He signs himself E. B. quite modestly. It’s Edmund Burke, upon my
-honour!”</p>
-
-<p>“Well,” said I, “we have only got three names among us; and they are all
-simple enough.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, so is Richard Arkwright when it’s a man’s own name,” said Harry.
-“Now what do you think of my discovery? I confess I think it’s something
-to know where one’s family belong to. If I could only have taken you to
-our dear old Rectory, Milly. What a pleasure it would have been to have
-thought of you there! I could have watched you all round every turn of
-the garden, although I had been at the other end of the world.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are not going to the other end of the world; and we<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_88" id="page_88"></a>{88}</span> have no claim
-upon the Rectory now, any more than on my grandfather,” said I. “Here is
-a cup of tea for you. Now do be content; and don’t talk, Harry; at least
-not on that subject. Of all the places in the world I like Edinburgh, a
-little to the south of the Castle, and close upon Bruntsfield Links.”</p>
-
-<p>“You have no imagination, Milly,” said he. “However, we’ll hear what old
-Pendleton says; and if there is anything known about it I should be very
-much tempted, little as we have at present&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“To throw our poor good money away,” cried I. “You who grudged baby his
-pretty hood! Oh, Harry, Harry, what wild fancies have you taken into
-your head?”</p>
-
-<p>“To make my Milly a refuge when I’m away. Not so wild, after all,” he
-said to himself softly. I made a noise with my teacups, and would not
-hear him. It was hard work keeping cheerful when he would return and
-return to the same subject. Sometimes I trembled and wondered, with a
-sudden pang, was it a presentiment? But all the presentiments I ever
-heard of were sudden and did not last; and it was natural enough, too,
-that he should be anxious. If he did have to leave me, would not I work,
-or beg, or steal, or anything, to have everything comfortable for <i>him</i>?
-I forgave Harry for looking out for a home for his poor little wife; but
-yet every time he spoke of it, it went to my heart.</p>
-
-<p>And I must say for myself that I never had the least hope either from my
-unknown relations or Harry’s. I could not believe in a grandfather, nor
-any cold strange people belonging to me. If I had friends they should
-have shown themselves friendly when I needed it most. Now I thought, in
-my pride, I did not want to know anything about them. I pictured to
-myself an old morose man, that would have nothing to say to his poor
-son’s only child. In my mind I took quite a prejudice against the very
-place, and dreamt all that night of a mouldy old red-brick house, with
-endless passages, and little steps now and then to throw one down and
-break one’s limbs in the darkness. Somehow, both Harry’s imagination and
-mine fixed on that old red-brick house. <i>He</i> thought it would be
-pleasant to settle me in such a place. <i>I</i> had the most frightful
-fancies about it. I could see myself going about the old grey faded
-rooms, and Harry away at the war. I could see a pale creature, that was
-me, go wringing her hands down the old staircase, and trembling at the
-window waiting for the post coming in. I could see dreadful shadows of
-scenes that might be when<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_89" id="page_89"></a>{89}</span> the letters came, which I would not look at,
-but could not shut out of my heart. Harry did not think how he was
-torturing me when he spoke of that old red-brick house. It seemed,
-somehow, as if all my fears took solid form, and became real when they
-got a shelter to house themselves in. I grew superstitious, as most
-people do when their hearts are in great trouble. Going on from less to
-more I came to settle upon this as a token for evil. If anyhow, by any
-dreadful chance, something should come of it, and I should ever have
-that house in my power, then I should know that the light was to depart
-from me, and that I was to be set down, all by myself, and desolate, to
-wither down and pine to death where my hard-hearted grandfather had
-died. In my own mind, and without saying anything to anybody, I settled
-upon this sign; and grew so assured of it, just by fancying things,
-that, if I had heard that my grandfather had left me a fortune, and that
-we should be comfortable all the rest of our lives, I should have sunk
-down as if the intelligence was a blow. To be poor and happy, and have
-our own way to make, seemed just enough, somehow; and in my superstition
-I almost thought God would punish us for wanting more. I thought if
-wealth should possibly come, happiness would fly away. I made sure if
-Harry got his will it would be death to me. The thought of it put a new
-terror into my life. His going away was not now the first thing I was
-afraid of. I was afraid of his finding that home for me that he was so
-anxious about&mdash;that place where I could be comfortable without him.
-Every grief in the world came to be implied and suggested to my mind by
-the mention of that red-brick house.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_90" id="page_90"></a>{90}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XI-b" id="Chapter_XI-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“O</span><span class="smcap">H</span> yes, I am very fanciful, I know I am; but if Harry would only be
-content, and let me be happy while I can,” said I, trying, but without
-success, to gulp down my tears.</p>
-
-<p>“Mrs. Langham, my dear, the Captain canna be content, and it stands to
-reason,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “and being anxious, as a good man should, to
-provide for his wife and his bairn, will no take him away an hour sooner
-than if he were a reckless ne’er-do-weel, that cared neither for the
-tane nor the tither. Be reasonable, and let him speak. He’s young and
-you’re young; and you’re neither o’ ye that wise but ye might thole
-mending. It’s a real, discreet, sensible thing o’ the young gentleman to
-try his very utmost for a home for his wife if he has to go away.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you have taken his side I shall give up speaking,” said I. “What do
-I care for home, or anything else, if he is away?”</p>
-
-<p>“But you care for the Captain’s peace of mind, Mrs. Langham, my dear,”
-said Mrs. Saltoun; “that’s far different. Maybe the truest love of a’
-would make itself content to be left in splendour for the sake of a
-comfortable thought to them that’s going on a far different road. I
-wouldna say but the thought o’ your safety would lighten mony an hour of
-danger. Mony’s the strange thing I’ve seen in my life; but eh! when ye
-have them that ye maybe mayna have lang, gie them their will! Let him
-have his ain way, and gang in wi’ him if ye can. There’s mony a young
-wife like you would die cheerful, or do ony hard thing in the world for
-her husband, but canna see her way just to do <i>that</i>. Gie him his will!
-I was ower late learning that mysel’.”</p>
-
-<p>The very tone in which my good old lady spoke plunged me deeper and
-deeper into my agony of alarm and terror. I did not take her words for
-what they meant. I went aside to draw terrifying inferences from her
-tone and the sound of her voice. She thought he would go, I
-concluded&mdash;perhaps she had heard already that marching orders had
-come&mdash;she thought that he would never come back again, if he did leave
-me. Anxiety and fear seized hold upon me so forcibly that I never
-stopped to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_91" id="page_91"></a>{91}</span> think that Mrs. Saltoun had no means of knowing, any more,
-or even so much as I knew, and that she could not possibly be better
-informed on this point than I was.</p>
-
-<p>“And now tell me about your family, Mrs. Langham, my dear. I’ve come
-across half the folk in the country, I might venture to say, one time
-and another. I was on the continent for three years with my old
-gentleman,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “it’s just astonishing to say such a
-thing, but if you’ll believe me, a person gets better acquaint with
-their own country folk, that is, meaning the higher ranks o’ life, in
-foreign parts than at home. It’s maybe just a glance and away, that’s
-true; but them that has good memories minds.”</p>
-
-<p>“And were you really abroad?” said I, feeling a little interested in
-spite of all my trouble; “and who was your old gentleman?&mdash;not&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“No, no, nobody belonging to me. I had the charge of his house and his
-young family, that he had no business to have at his age; an auld fuil
-of a man that had married a young wife, and lost her, and was left, past
-seventy, with four young bairns. Mortimer? wasn’t that <i>your</i> name, my
-dear? Eh? I mind of a Miss Mortimer made a great steer among a’ the
-English one season; and among mair than the English by bad fortune. She
-was counted a great beauty; but I canna say she was like you.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, indeed, not likely!” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“I would rather have your face than hers though,” said kind Mrs.
-Saltoun. “Bless me, now I think of it, that was a very strange story.
-There was a Count somebody that followed her about like her shadow.
-Except her beauty, I canna say I ever had much of an opinion of her. She
-was very heartless to her servants, and, for all the admirers she had, I
-think her greatest admirer was herself; but between you and me, my dear,
-men are great fools; she had ay a train after her. To be sure she was
-said to be a great fortune as well. I canna think but that poor Count
-was badly used. Counts are no a’ impostors, like what we think them
-here. He was a real handsome gentleman, that one. He was with her
-wherever she went for a year and more. Some folks said they were to be
-married, and more said they were married already. <i>That</i> was ay my
-opinion;&mdash;when, what do you think, all at once he disappeared from her,
-and for a while she flirted about more than ever; and then she went
-suddenly off and home with her father. I would like to hear the rights
-o’ that story. When a woman’s a witch,&mdash;and I canna think a great beauty
-without a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_92" id="page_92"></a>{92}</span> heart is onything else&mdash;most other women take a great
-interest in finding her out. Fools say it’s for envy; but it’s no for
-envy, my dear. You see beauty doesna blind a woman; we can ay see what’s
-going on underhand.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what became of her?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“That is just what I never heard. That is the worst of meeting in with
-folk abroad; you see them once, and you, maybe, never see them a’ your
-days again,” said Mrs. Saltoun. “To be sure, you commonly hear of them,
-one way or other; but I never heard of the beautiful Miss Mortimer
-again. It’s five-and-twenty years ago, if it’s a day, and she was far
-from young then. That poor Count&mdash;I canna mind his name&mdash;was a good five
-years, if no more, younger than the witch that kept him at her call. I
-took a real spite against that woman; for you see she was just at the
-over-bloom, and yet took a’ the airs of a young queen. I wouldna wonder
-in the least but, after a’, she was married and wouldna own to it. There
-was nae heart in her.”</p>
-
-<p>“But if she was married, how could she help herself?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“That is what I canna tell,” said Mrs. Saltoun; “there’s wheels within
-wheels, especially in foreign parts. Maybe the Count wasna a grand
-enough match, maybe&mdash;I canna tell you; it’s a’ guess-work; but I am very
-sure of one thing, that she was not an innocent woman, with nothing on
-her conscience when she went away.”</p>
-
-<p>“I hope she is no relation of mine,” said I. “Harry has found out that I
-had a grandfather, and all about him. Oh, only suppose, Mrs. Saltoun,
-this dreadful beauty should turn out to be my aunt! That <i>would</i> be
-delightful!” I said to myself after a while, with a kind of bitter
-satisfaction; “not to live in the red-brick house alone, but to live
-with a dreadful old beauty who would be sure to be haunted. That would
-be purgatory, enough, to please anybody; and Mortimer is not at all a
-common name.”</p>
-
-<p>My old lady looked up at me half frightened. “Don’t say such a thing,
-Mrs. Langham, my dear. I would not say a word against any person’s
-character, far less one that might turn out a relation of yours. But,
-for all that I’ve no right to interfere, I would set my face against the
-like of you setting up house with ony such person. I would speak to the
-Captain mysel’. Hout! here I’m taking’t up as if it was true; but if it
-should be so that, in the order of Providence, the Captain was to go,
-you mustna take up just with ony relation without<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_93" id="page_93"></a>{93}</span> considering if they
-would make ye happy. You must be careful where you go&mdash;you must&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Happy?” cried I. It seemed like mockery and a kind of insult;&mdash;as if I
-could be happy when Harry, perhaps, was in danger, perhaps wounded or
-ill, in suffering, and away from me!</p>
-
-<p>“Whisht, whisht,” said Mrs. Saltoun. “I ken ye better than ye ken
-yourself. It’ll be hard, hard work at first; but when the parting’s over
-you’ll get hopeful, and think o’ the meeting again; and ye’ll ay get
-letters to cheer ye; and with the baby and the sun shining you’ll be
-happy before you ken. But I maunna have ye settled down with the like of
-yon Miss Mortimer. Na! na! naething like that, if she were twenty times
-an aunt. Far better stay on still with me, that would ay be coming and
-going to cheer you up. Yon’s a woman without a heart. I must speak to
-the Captain mysel’.”</p>
-
-<p>Though I was much nearer crying that being amused, I could not but laugh
-at Mrs. Saltoun’s anxiety about her Miss Mortimer, whom there was not
-the very slightest reason to suppose any relation of mine. I took up the
-idea myself, I must say, with quite a ludicrous sort of uncomfortable
-satisfaction. If I had a grandfather, why should not I have an aunt? Why
-should there not be an old Miss Mortimer living in the red-brick house,
-ready to take me in, and kill me slowly by degrees? I formed an
-immediate picture of her&mdash;how she would look, and what she would say to
-me. I fancied her dressed up in her old fashions, trying to look young
-and a beauty still. How dreadful it must be to drop from being a great
-beauty, and having everybody worship you, down to a mere old woman left
-all by yourself! Poor old Miss Mortimer! If she was my aunt, and was
-very cross, and discontented, and miserable, there might be something
-different in the old red-brick house, that quiet, dead comfortable home
-that poor Harry, in his love and kindness, was so anxious to find for
-me. There would be some satisfaction in living a miserable life with an
-ogre in an enchanted castle if Harry were away. Mrs. Saltoun’s words did
-not alarm me; on the contrary, I grew quite curious about this imaginary
-Miss Mortimer. I thought I could fancy her going about those faded rooms
-which yesterday I fancied seeing myself in. Now it was her figure I saw
-all alone by the fire. Had she got used to it, I wonder? or did she
-chafe and beat her poor old wings against the cage, and hate the world
-that had given over admiring her? I tried to spell out what kind of a
-beauty she had been; but it was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_94" id="page_94"></a>{94}</span> always twilight in the old-fashioned
-room. Tall, to be sure, with grey hair that had been black, and proud
-eyes all wrinkled up in their sockets. Poor old Miss Mortimer! I wonder
-did she know that she had an orphan niece who was to be sent to her for
-a comfortable home? Couldn’t I look again, and see myself come in, and
-how she greeted me? I think I must have grown quite fantastic in my
-troubles. I could not keep my thoughts away from Mrs. Saltoun’s great
-beauty. All alone in the house that was falling into decay, what ghosts
-must crowd about her! Did she see the Count she had ill-used oftenest,
-or some other who was more favoured? How did she keep these phantoms off
-from her in the silence? I kept going over all this as other girls go
-over imaginary romances of their own; I knew what my own romance was;
-but still I was only nineteen, and loved to dream.</p>
-
-<p>And, perhaps, the consequence of this new turn to my thoughts was, that
-I was more tolerant of Harry’s curiosity and anxious musing about my
-father’s family, which had been revealed to him in that strange,
-unexpected glimpse by Mr. Pendleton, the regimental doctor. I did not
-stop him nervously when he began to talk of that favourite subject of
-his thoughts. He was always coming back to it somehow. I could trace the
-idea running through all he said. Not fancy and nonsensical imaginations
-like mine; but serious, simple-minded anxiety, and an earnest concern
-about the matter which would have broken my heart, had I not begun to
-get used to it now. There was nothing talked about or heard of but the
-war and the quantities of soldiers who were being sent away. Harry had
-no other expectation or hope but to go too, and all his thought was, to
-find a shelter for me. I could see it haunted his mind constantly, and
-at last I gave in to it, that he might be eased on the subject. I used
-to discuss it over with him where I should go&mdash;oh, only to go like Lady
-Fanshawe, and be beside him, though he did not know! That was
-impossible; so I let him talk, and smiled the best I could. Soon enough,
-perhaps, we should have land and sea between us. Let him say what he
-would. Let him arrange what he would. If it was a comfort to him, what
-did it matter? The old brick house and Miss Mortimer would be better
-than the happiest of homes. Who could wish to be happy while Harry was
-away.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_95" id="page_95"></a>{95}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XII-b" id="Chapter_XII-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">O</span><span class="smcap">NE</span> day after this Harry came in with a letter in his hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Here is news, Milly, darling; not such news as we expected, but still
-news,” said he; “this is not how you are to become a great heiress,
-certainly; but still it’s interesting. It turns out, after, all, that
-your grandfather was not rich.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! is it Mr. Pendleton’s letter?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Pendleton’s brother has something to do with it,” said Harry, with a
-little excitement; “there was not much money&mdash;not any more than enough
-to pay the debts and give some presents to the old servants&mdash;but there
-is the house. They had no funds to employ in looking up the heir, and
-nobody cared to take much trouble. So there it stands falling to pieces.
-Look here, Milly; it’s yours, indisputably yours.”</p>
-
-<p>“But how about Miss Mortimer?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>Harry stopped short all at once as he was opening the letter, and stared
-at me. “Miss Mortimer! who is she?” he said, in the most entire
-amazement. He might well look surprised: but I had so entirely made up
-my mind about her, and that she was living in the old house, that his
-question was quite a shock to me.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, Miss Mortimer, to be sure,” I said, faltering a little; and then I
-could not help laughing at Harry’s astonished face.</p>
-
-<p>“It appears that you know more than Mr. Pendleton does, Milly,” said he;
-“there is no Miss Mortimer here. I suppose you are only amusing yourself
-at my expense: but I really am quite in earnest. Mr. Mortimer’s house is
-entirely yours. He had no child but your father; you are the
-heir-at-law. I only wish there had been a Miss Mortimer. You may look
-displeased, Milly darling; but think if there had been a good old lady
-to take care of you while I’m away!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Harry, you don’t know what you are saying,” cried I; “that Miss
-Mortimer was an old witch and beauty. Mrs. Saltoun told me that if she
-should turn out to be a relation of mine, she would speak to you
-herself, to say that I must not on any account go there.”</p>
-
-<p>“Go where? What Miss Mortimer are you speaking of?” said Harry,
-completely mystified.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_96" id="page_96"></a>{96}</span></p>
-
-<p>Then I had to confess that I knew nothing of her, and it was all
-imagination; and Harry shook it off quite lightly, and went on to talk
-of this house. As if I ever could, after all my fancies, put Miss
-Mortimer out of that house! As if she had not taken possession, a
-wonderful old ghost, always to live and reign there! And, moreover, my
-heart got quite chill within me as Harry spoke. This was my bad omen;
-this was the sign I had appointed with myself for the coming of every
-trouble. I got so pale, listening to him, that he was disturbed, and
-grew quite anxious. Was I ill? What was the matter with me? I said No,
-with a gasp, and let him go on. He read out of the letter all the
-description of this dreadful house; but I am sure I did not need any
-description. I saw it as clear as a picture; large rooms, to be sure,
-with great faded Turkey carpets on them! a low broad staircase, with
-myself coming down on the post-morning wringing my hands, and Miss
-Mortimer sitting all silent by the fire; a large old garden with mossy
-apple-trees, and a sun-dial somewhere about, some dozen bedrooms or so,
-all hushed and solemn, as if people had died there. I am not sure that I
-heard the words of Harry’s description; for what was she good? I saw it
-perfectly well in my mind, far clearer than I ever could have known it
-by words.</p>
-
-<p>“And Harry,” cried I, with a start of despair, when he came to a pause,
-“would you really have me go to live in such a place&mdash;a place I never
-was in in all my life&mdash;a place I have no kind feeling about, nor
-pleasant thoughts&mdash;only because it was my grandfather’s house, whom I
-never saw, and who never cared to see me? I did not think you could have
-been so cruel. Besides, it would be far too expensive. Servants would
-have to be kept for it; and you must make up your mind that it would
-kill me.”</p>
-
-<p>“But it might sell for a good price,” said Harry, “and I might get you a
-pretty cottage, where you pleased, with the money. I am going to write
-to old Pendleton to tell him who you are and all about it. You have had
-your own way with your first bit of fortune; but I should not at all
-wonder, Milly darling,” he said, laughing, “if you were to offer it,
-rent free, to your Aunt Connor, that she might find it a very eligible
-situation. After such a description, Mrs. Connor is not the woman to
-despise the red-brick house.”</p>
-
-<p>“She might have it altogether, and welcome, for me,” said I. “Oh, Harry,
-I can’t help thinking it’s an ill omened place. I could never be happy
-there.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who ever heard of an ill omen now-a-days?” said Harry,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_97" id="page_97"></a>{97}</span> “it’s a pagan
-fancy, Milly. For my part the idea rather captivates me. I should like
-to live in the house my good father was born in. My bridegroom uncle has
-it now. Don’t you think I had better write and tell him my little wife
-is an heiress? However, perhaps the best thing will be to try and sell
-the house.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, much the best thing!” I said. That would be getting rid of it, at
-all events; and as Harry would not leave off talking of it, I persuaded
-him with all my might to get done with it so. We were both quite
-confident that we had only to say who we were and get it without any
-trouble. That, of course, was all very natural in me that knew nothing
-about things, but Harry might have known better. He was quite pleased
-and interested about it. I think he never was quite satisfied not to
-know who I belonged to; but now that he had hunted up my grandfather, he
-was quite comforted. And how he did talk of the pretty cottage he was to
-buy me! Sometimes it was to be in England, in his own county; which he
-naturally liked best of all places; sometimes near Edinburgh, where we
-were, because I was fond of it. Sometimes we took walks and looked at
-all the pretty little houses we could see. He had planned it out in his
-own mind, all the rooms it was to have, and used to study the
-upholsterer’s windows, and take me ever so far out of my way to see some
-pretty table or chair that had taken his fancy. He said if he could only
-see me settled, and know exactly what I was looking at, and all the
-things round me, it would be such a comfort when he went away.</p>
-
-<p>This going away was kept so constantly before my mind that I could not
-forget it for a moment. I lived in a constant state of nervous
-expectation. Every day when he came in I went to meet him with a pang of
-fear in my heart. Such constant anxiety would have made a woman ill who
-had nothing to do; but I was full in the stream of life, and one thing
-counterbalanced another, and kept everything going. That must be the
-reason why people do get strength to bear so many things when they are
-in the midst of life. Young disengaged people would die of half the
-troubles that middle-aged, hard-labouring people have; but I had a daily
-dread returning every time Harry returned, and with a shiver of
-inexpressible relief put off my anxiety to the next day, when I found
-there was no news. All the evils of life seemed to crowd into that one
-possibility of Harry’s going away. It was not that I feared any positive
-harm coming to him, or had made up my mind that he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_98" id="page_98"></a>{98}</span> would not come back
-again; it was the sudden extinction of our bright troubled life that I
-looked forward to, the going out of our happiness. I did not seem to
-care where I should be, or what might happen after that time.</p>
-
-<p>In the meantime Harry grew quite a man of business, and entered with
-something like enjoyment, I thought, into the pursuit of my
-grandfather’s house. He wrote to Aunt Connor for all the information
-that could be had about my father, and for the register of his marriage
-and my birth. He wrote a long letter to that Mr. Pendleton at Haworth,
-who had, as he said, something to do with it; and old Pendleton, the
-surgeon, came out to see me, and told me all he remembered about my
-father. That was not very much; the principal thing was, that he had
-heard of poor papa being jilted by a relation of his own, a great
-heiress&mdash;in Wales, he thought, but he could not tell where. Of course
-that must have been Sarah, in poor papa’s drawing, who was getting on
-the wrong side of her horse; and “he never did any more good,” Mr.
-Pendleton said. He lingered about at home for some time, and then went
-wandering about everywhere. He had a little money from his mother, just
-enough to keep him from being obliged to do anything; and the old
-surgeon burst out into an outcry about the evils of a little money,
-which quite frightened me. “When silly people leave a young man just as
-much as he can live on, they ruin him for life,” said old Mr. Pendleton.
-“Unless he’s a great genius there’s an end of him. Richard Mortimer,
-begging your pardon, was not a great genius, Mrs. Langham; but he might
-have been a good enough soldier, or doctor, or solicitor, or something;
-or a cotton-spinner, as his name inclined that way,&mdash;if it hadn’t been
-for his little bit of money. Langham, my boy, either have a great
-fortune or none at all; it will be all the better for your heir.”</p>
-
-<p>“We’ll have a great fortune,” said Harry. “The first step must be to
-sell this red-brick house.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Pendleton gave him an odd look. “There’s a saying about catching the
-hare first before you cook it,” said the doctor. “Make yourself quite
-sure they’ll give you a deal of trouble before they’ll let you take
-possession; and then there’s no end of money wanted for repairs. The
-last time I saw it, there was a hole that a man could pass through in
-the roof.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry looked aghast at this new piece of information; nothing that I
-ever saw had such an effect upon Harry’s courage. He gazed with open
-eyes and mouth at the disenchanter <span class="pagenum"><a name="page_99" id="page_99"></a>{99}</span>for a moment. I do think he could
-see the rain dropping in, and the wind blowing, and damp and decay
-spreading through the house just as clearly as I saw Miss Mortimer
-sitting by the fire, and myself going down the stairs. After that I used
-to think Harry was thinking of the house, whenever it rained much. He
-used to sigh, and look so grave, and say solemn things about the wet
-weather destroying property. And I cannot deny that I laughed.
-Altogether, this house kept us in talk and interest, and did a good deal
-to amuse us through this winter, which, without something to lighten it,
-would have passed very slowly, being so full of perpetual anxiety and
-fears.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XIII-b" id="Chapter_XIII-b"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> was in spring that Harry came in one day with the news in his face;
-at least I thought it was the news. Heaven help me!&mdash;I came forward with
-my hands clasped, struck speechless by the thought, my limbs trembling
-under me so that I could scarcely stand. I suppose Harry was struck by
-my dumb agony. My ears, that were strained to hear the one only thing in
-the world that I was afraid of, devoured, without being satisfied, the
-soothing words he said to me. I gasped at him, asking, I suppose,
-without any sound, to know the worst; and he told me at once, in pity
-for my desperate face.</p>
-
-<p>“No such thing, Milly darling. No, no; not to the war just yet. We are
-only to leave Edinburgh, nothing more.”</p>
-
-<p>I think I almost fainted at this reprieve; I could scarcely understand
-it. The certainty of the other was so clear upon my mind that I almost
-could have thought he deceived me. I sank down into a seat when I came
-to myself, and cried in my weakness like a child; Harry all the while
-wondering over me in a surprise of love and pity. I do not think he
-quite knew till then how much that terror had gone to my heart.</p>
-
-<p>“No, Milly, darling,” he kept repeating, looking at me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_100" id="page_100"></a>{100}</span> always with a
-strange compassion, as if he knew that the grief I was dreading must
-come, though not yet; “take comfort, it has not come yet; and before it
-comes you must be stronger, and able to bear what God sends.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, yes, yes, I will bear it,” said I, under my breath, “but say again
-it is not to be now.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, we are going away to Chester,” said Harry, “be satisfied, I will
-not try to cheat you when that time comes. We are to go to Chester to
-let some other fellows away. Now you must pack again and be going,
-Milly, like a true soldier’s wife.”</p>
-
-<p>Ah, me! if that were all that was needful for a soldier’s wife! Somehow,
-all that night after, I felt lighter in my heart than usual. I had felt
-all this time as if the sword was hanging over my head; but now that we
-were sent out wandering again, the danger seemed to have faded further
-off. Nobody would take the trouble to send a regiment from one end of
-the country to the other, and then send them right away. If they had
-been going to the war, they would have gone direct from Edinburgh. It
-was a respite, a little additional life granted to us. I sang my old
-songs that night, as I went about the room. I could dare laugh to baby,
-and dance him about. How he was growing, the dear fellow! He set his
-little pink feet firm on my hand, and could stand upright. I showed
-Harry all his accomplishments, and rejoiced over them. How thankful and
-lighthearted I was, to be sure, that night! Harry kept watching me,
-following me with his eyes in the strangest, amused, sympathetic way. He
-was surprised to see the agony I was in at first; but he was still more
-surprised to see how easily, as one might have said, I got over it now.</p>
-
-<p>“And, Milly, what is to be done with the sprite?” said Harry.</p>
-
-<p>“Lizzie? what should be done with her? She is an orphan, she has nobody
-belonging to her, she has taken shelter with me. Harry, no; we’re poor,
-but we’re not free to think of ourselves alone. Lizzie shall go too. She
-is God’s child, and He sent her to me.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry did not say anything, but he kept slowly shaking his head and
-drumming upon the table. Harry had the common people’s ideas rather
-about responsibility. He was afraid of the responsibility. For all the
-kindness in his heart he did not like to step into what might be other
-people’s business, or to take up any burdens that did not lie in his
-way.</p>
-
-<p>“Besides, she is the best servant in the world. She is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_101" id="page_101"></a>{101}</span> worth all Aunt
-Connor’s three maids. I can trust her with baby almost as well as I can
-trust myself; and, besides,” said I, rather hypocritically, “look at the
-creature’s laundry work; you never were so pleased before.”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, that is rather astonishing, I confess,” said Harry, looking at
-his fresh wristband with a little admiration. “I don’t believe those
-awkward red fingers ever did it. She must keep some private fairy in a
-box, or have made an agreement with a nameless personage. What if poor
-Lizzie’s soul were in danger on account of your fine linen, you
-hard-hearted Milly! I do not believe you would care.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! you can’t deny her talents in the laundry,” cried I, with a little
-injudicious laughter. “What a triumph that is! You never were content
-with anybody’s work before.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry looked at me rather doubtfully. “You look very much as if you were
-a little cheat,” he said. “I’ll have a peep into the laundry one of
-these days myself.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Lizzie must go with us,” said I. “I have taken very much to the
-strange creature. You and I are God’s orphans too. We have a right to be
-good to her; and it is not all on one side&mdash;don’t think it, Harry; she
-is very good to me. She helps me with all her might, and stands by me
-whenever I want, or tries to do it. I had rather have her than
-half-a-dozen common servants. Leave this to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“But consider, Milly, what you are making yourself responsible for,”
-cried Harry.</p>
-
-<p>I stopped his mouth; I would not let him speak; and danced away with
-baby all in my joy and comfort to put him to bed. We met Mrs. Saltoun on
-the stairs in the dark, and as she kissed the child, I kissed my good
-old lady out of the fulness of my heart. “We are going away, but it is
-only to Chester; we shall be together still,” I said in her ear. I never
-thought how strange she would think it that I should be pleased to leave
-her, or how she might wonder at my spirits getting up so easily. I was
-very happy that night.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie was putting all baby’s things away when I went into the room. She
-folded and laid them all aside more nicely than I could have done it
-myself; not, so far as I know, because orderliness came natural to her,
-but because, with all her heart, she had wanted to please me, and saw
-with her quick eyes how it was to be done best. When anybody looked at
-Lizzie, and she knew it, she was just as awkward as ever. How I had
-laboured to make her hands and her feet look as if they belonged to her,
-without twisting up or going into angles! but<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_102" id="page_102"></a>{102}</span> it was all of no use.
-Whenever anybody looked at Lizzie, she would stand on one foot, and seek
-refuge of an imaginary pinafore for her hands; but just now, in the
-firelight, when you could only half see her, you cannot think how tidily
-and nicely the uncouth creature was going about her work.</p>
-
-<p>I paused before the fire after the child was in bed. “Lizzie,” said I,
-standing in the warm light, and looking down into it, “do you like
-Edinburgh very much?” I did not look round for her answer, I waited till
-she should come to me; and yet felt pleased to see her, with “the tail
-of my eye,” as Mrs. Saltoun would have said, flitting about after one
-thing and another, through the pleasant darkness, with the firelight all
-glimmering and shooting gleams of reflection into it, shining in the
-drawers, and chairs, and furniture, which Lizzie’s hands had rubbed so
-bright. I could not help thinking, with a little pride and
-self-complacency, that it was all my doing. If I had not taught her, and
-taken pains with her&mdash;but then, to be sure, if she had not been
-wonderfully clever and capable; the one thing had just as much to do
-with it as the other. But, between her exertions and my own, I had been
-very successful in my little maid.</p>
-
-<p>“Edinburey?” said Lizzie, coming up to me, with a lingering sound in
-that genuine Edinburgh tone of hers, “eh, mem, isn’t it rael bonnie?
-They say there’s no such another bonnie town in the world.”</p>
-
-<p>“But there are, though,” said I; “they say quantities of foolish things.
-Lizzie, the regiment is ordered away.”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie clasped her hands together, and gave a shrill shriek. “I’ll waken
-the wean, but I canna help it. Eh, what will we do?” cried Lizzie, in a
-voice of suppressed and sharp despair. “I heard you say once you would
-die, and if you die, so will the bairn, and so will I; and what heart
-would the Captain have to come hame again? He would throw himself upon
-the spears, the way they do in the ballads, and get his death. Mem!”
-cried the excited girl, seizing my arm and stamping her foot upon the
-floor in an impassioned appeal to my weakness, “if ye dinna bide alive,
-and keep up your heart, he’ll never come hame!”</p>
-
-<p>I cannot explain what an extraordinary effect this had upon me. The
-sudden flush of excitement and desperate necessity for doing something
-to inspire and hold up my weakness, which animated Lizzie, cast a new
-light upon myself and my selfish terror. She cared nothing about
-affronting or offending me, the brave primitive creature; she thought
-only of rousing, pricking me up to exert what strength I had. Her grasp
-on<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_103" id="page_103"></a>{103}</span> my arm, her stamp on the floor, were nature’s own bold suggestions
-to arrest the evil she dreaded. I should not give way, or break down&mdash;I
-should not send away my soldier unworthily, nor peril the life on which
-another hung, if Lizzie could help it. What I had escaped for the
-moment&mdash;what I should have to go through with by and by, came all up
-before me at her words. She whom I was proud of having trained for my
-service had a braver heart than me.</p>
-
-<p>But when I could explain to her the real nature of the case our position
-changed immediately. Lizzie’s countenance fell; she hung her head, and
-relapsed into all her old awkwardness. It was neither the bold young
-soul, resolved, come what might, to inspire me with needful courage, nor
-the handy little maid busied with her work, but the old uncouth Lizzie,
-not knowing how to stand or look for extreme awkwardness and eagerness,
-that stood gazing wistful at me in the firelight. She stood with her
-lips apart, looking at me, breathless with silent anxiety, muttering as
-she stood, with an incessant nervous unconscious motion, the physical
-utterance of extreme anxiety. She made no appeal to me then; but, like a
-faithful dog, or dumb creature, kept gazing in my face.</p>
-
-<p>“And so we shall have to go away,” said I, somewhat confused by her
-eyes; “and you are an Edinburgh girl, and people know you here. I could
-recommend you very well, and you might get a better place; you must
-think it all over, and decide what we must do.”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie’s face showed that she only understood me by degrees; that she
-should have any choice in the matter not seeming to have occurred to
-her. When she fairly made it out, she gave a joyful shout, and another
-little cry; but plunged me into the wildest amazement, the moment after,
-by the following question, in which I could find no connection whatever
-with the subject under hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Mem,” said Lizzie, “is a’ the Bible true alike&mdash;the auld Testament as
-weel as the New?”</p>
-
-<p>“Surely,” said I, in the most utter surprise.</p>
-
-<p>“Then I know what I’ll do,” cried the girl; “I’ll bring you a hammer and
-a nail, and you’ll drive it into the doorpost through my ear.”</p>
-
-<p>“What in the world do you mean, child?” cried I,&mdash;“are you laughing at
-me, Lizzie? or is the girl crazed.”</p>
-
-<p>“Me laughing? if you would do it I would greet with joy; for the Bible
-says them that have the nail driven through, never gang out ony mair for
-ever, but belong to the house.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_104" id="page_104"></a>{104}</span> Mrs. Saltoun mightna be pleased if it
-was done in the parlour, but down at the outer door it might be nae
-harm. Eh, mem, will ye ask the Captain?” cried Lizzie, “and then I’ll
-never leave ye mair!”</p>
-
-<p>Just then Harry called me downstairs, and all laughing, and with tears
-in my eyes, I hurried down to him, not knowing whether to be most amused
-or melted.</p>
-
-<p>Harry had something to consult me about, which he plunged into
-immediately, so that I had still had no opportunity of propounding
-Lizzie’s petition, when, all at once, about an hour after, she made her
-appearance at the door. I never saw the creature look so bright; her
-eyes were shining, her colour high, her breath coming quick with
-agitation, excitement, and a mingled thrill of joy and terror. In one
-hand she carried Mrs. Saltoun’s great hammer, in another a rusty iron
-nail; and her resolution had removed at once her awkwardness and her
-reverential dread of Harry. She came up to him with a noiseless air of
-excitement, and touched him on the sleeve; she held out the hammer and
-the nail without being able to speak a word. He, on his side, looked at
-her with the utmost amazement. Lizzie was too much excited to explain
-herself, or even to remark his astonished look; she had come to prove
-her allegiance in the only way that occurred to her. I believe, in my
-heart, that she longed for the grotesque extraordinary pang which was to
-make her my bondslave for ever; the spirit of a martyr was in the
-child’s heart.</p>
-
-<p>When Harry understood the creature’s meaning you may imagine what a
-scene followed. I had to send Lizzie away lest her highly-wrought
-feelings should be driven desperate, by the agonies of laughter it threw
-him into. I took her outside the door and put away the hammer, and gave
-her a kiss in the dark. I whispered in her ear, “That shall be our bond,
-Lizzie; we will take it out of the New Testament rather than the Old,”
-and left her sitting on the stairs, with her apron thrown over her head,
-crying her heart out. No one, from that day forward, has ever spoken of
-leaving Lizzie behind again.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_105" id="page_105"></a>{105}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="PART_III" id="PART_III"></a>PART III.<br /><br />
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL.<br />
-<small>(<i>Continued</i>)</small>.</h2>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_I-c" id="Chapter_I-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">CANNOT</span> tell what it was that made me silent about this adventure while
-we were having tea. My mind was naturally full of it, but when, having
-the words just on my lips, I looked at Sarah, some strange influence
-held me back. That reluctance to speak of a matter which will turn out
-painful to somebody I have felt come across me like a sort of warning
-more than once in my life; and this time it was so powerful, that during
-our meal I said nothing whatever about the matter. You are not to
-suppose, though, that I was so good a dissembler as not to show that I
-had something on my mind. Little Sara found me out in a moment. She
-said, “What are you thinking of, godmamma?” before we had been two
-minutes at table, and persecuted me the whole time,&mdash;finding out
-whenever I made any little mistake; and, indeed, I made several, my mind
-being so much occupied. Sarah, on the contrary, took no notice; she
-seemed, indeed, to have recovered herself a good deal, and had a very
-good appetite. She never talked much at any time, and had said less than
-usual since ever little Sara arrived. So what with my abstraction and
-Sarah’s quiet occupation with herself, there was not much talk, you may
-suppose. Little Sara Cresswell’s eyes, however, quite danced with
-mischief when she saw me so deep in thought. She kept asking me all
-sorts of questions; whether there was any bit of the road haunted
-between<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_106" id="page_106"></a>{106}</span> the Park and the village? whether I had got some sermons from
-the rector to read? whether Dr. Appleby had been trying some of his new
-medicines (the doctor was certainly too much given to experiments) upon
-me? whether I had met anybody to frighten me? Tea was all but finished,
-and I had just rung the bell, when the little plague asked this last
-question; and you may imagine I was quite as much inclined to tell all
-my story as Sara was to draw me out.</p>
-
-<p>“Now I’ll just tell you what I think has happened, godmamma,” cried
-Sara. “One of your old lovers has appeared to you, and told you that,
-but for you, he might have been a happy man; and that all his troubles
-began when you refused him. Now haven’t I guessed right?”</p>
-
-<p>“Right? Why, I have told you a dozen times, Sara, that I never had any
-lovers,” said I,&mdash;“not till I was forty, at least.”</p>
-
-<p>“But that is no answer at all,” cried the little puss. “And the poor man
-might die for you, when you were forty, all the same. Was it himself,
-quite pined away and heart-broken, that you saw, godmamma, or was it his
-ghost?”</p>
-
-<p>“Hush, you little provoking thing,” said I; “you and I had a quarrel
-about an Italian the other evening. Now I know a deal better about him
-than you do, Sara. He is all the ghost I met.”</p>
-
-<p>I gave a glance at Sarah, sidelong, as I spoke. I am sure what I said
-was light enough, and not very serious, but her ear had caught it; it
-was a sign to me that she was still as much on the watch as ever. She
-did not speak, nor lift up her head, except with a little momentary
-start, but <i>she stopped knitting</i>, which was something extraordinary to
-me.</p>
-
-<p>And little Sara flushed up; whether it was with the recollection of our
-quarrel, or a private interest of her own in the young stranger, who, to
-be sure, being a handsome young man, and mysterious, and romantic, was
-quite likely to excite a foolish young imagination, I cannot tell; but
-her cheeks certainly reddened up at a great rate, and she looked exactly
-as if she were ready to pounce and bite, what between curiosity and
-wrath.</p>
-
-<p>“I met him on the road; it is my belief he passed the gate the other
-evening when I was looking out. Poor young man! he speaks very good
-English for an Italian,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Then Sarah’s whisper interfered and stopped me; she spoke very sharply.
-“Who are you speaking of?” she said; “there are no Italians here.”</p>
-
-<p>“There is one,” said I; “poor fellow. Little Sara there<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_107" id="page_107"></a>{107}</span> knows about
-him. It appears he came expecting to find a lady hereabouts, and can’t
-find her. I can’t think on the name myself; I never heard it that I know
-of; but I must allow that the young man looks like a gentleman; and for
-an Italian&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Be silent, Milly! What can a person like you know?” said Sarah, in an
-irritated shrill tone. “They’re a double-minded, deceitful, intriguing
-race; they’re vile story-tellers, every one; they’re a people no more
-fit to be considered like other Christians than dogs are, or slaves.
-Bah! What do you mean talking to me of Italians? None of you are the
-least aware of what you are speaking of. I know them well.”</p>
-
-<p>Here little Sara struck boldly into the breach, and saved me from the
-necessity of struggling out an answer.</p>
-
-<p>“Godmamma, you are frightfully unjust!” cried little Sara. “I wonder how
-you can speak of a whole people so; and such a people! as if everybody
-in the world did not know who they are, and what they have done!”</p>
-
-<p>“They have done every kind of fraud and falsehood in existence,” said
-Sarah, so earnest that her voice sounded like a sort of smothered
-shriek. “I tell you, child, whoever trusts or believes in them gets
-deceived and betrayed. Don’t speak to me of Italians&mdash;I know them; and
-if any Italian comes here pretending to ask anything,” she said,
-suddenly turning round upon me, and catching at me, if I may say so,
-with her eye, “mind you, Milly, it’s a cheat! I say, recollect it’s a
-cheat! He does not want any living creature; he wants money, and profit,
-and what you have to give.”</p>
-
-<p>If she had said all this quietly, and there had been nothing beforehand
-to rouse my attention, I should not have been surprised; for to be sure,
-that was very much like what I had always believed; and as for lying,
-and seeking their own advantage, I rather think that is just about what
-an English person, who knows no better, thinks of most foreigners, right
-or wrong. But Sarah’s way of speaking was breathless and excited. She
-was no more thinking of Italians in general than I was, or than little
-Sara was. She was thinking on some one thing, and some one person; she
-alone knew who and what. All her anger, and her quickness, and her
-dreadful look of being in earnest, were personal to herself; and I
-cannot describe to anybody how my sister’s unexplainable anxiety and
-excitement bewildered and excited me.</p>
-
-<p>“But, Sarah, you don’t know anything of this poor friend<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_108" id="page_108"></a>{108}</span> man; he may be
-as honest as ever was. I do believe he is, for my part,” said I; “and
-what he wants is&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t tell me!” cried Sarah. “I don’t want to hear what he wants. How
-should I know anything about him? Hold your tongue, Milly, I tell you.
-What! you go and take a fancy to a young villain and impostor, and
-neglect <i>me</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>“Neglect <i>you</i>! but, dear, not for the poor young Italian gentleman’s
-sake; you can’t think that!” said I, more and more amazed.</p>
-
-<p>“You all neglect me!” said Sarah, throwing down her knitting, and rising
-up in her passion. “I don’t want to hear of reasons or causes. You are
-not to tell me what young impostors you may fish up in the streets, or
-what ridiculous things your <i>protégés</i> may want. Don’t say anything to
-me, I tell you! I desire to hear nothing about it. Make up what pretty
-romance you please, you are quite fit to do it; but I clear my hands of
-all such matters&mdash;you shall not even tell them to me!”</p>
-
-<p>And as she said this,&mdash;could I believe my eyes?&mdash;Sarah thrust her
-footstool out of the way, pushed back her screen, and making a momentary
-pause to search round all the dim depths of the room with her eyes, went
-out, leaving us two, Sara and me, staring at each other. What had
-affronted her? What could be the cause of her displeasure. She left her
-knitting thrown down into the basket, and the Times lying on the chair
-beside her seat. Nobody had done or said anything to displease her,
-unless my mention of the young Italian had done it. What strange secret
-irritation could be working in her, to produce these outbursts of
-passion without any cause?</p>
-
-<p>Little Sara stared at me with her bright eyes wide open, till Sarah had
-quite gone out of the room; then the wicked little creature, struck, I
-suppose, with something comic in my blank distressed look, burst out
-laughing. I cannot tell you how the sound of her laugh, thoughtless as
-she was, jarred upon me.</p>
-
-<p>“Is this how you live so amicably at the Park, godmamma?” cried Sara.
-“The people say you have the temper of an angel, and that nobody else
-could live with godmamma Sarah. I never believed it was true till now.
-You have the temper of an angel, godmamma. You forgave me the other
-night when I was so naughty; you kissed me, though I did not expect you
-would. And now here you have been kind to poor Italian Mr. Luigi, and
-you have got paid for it. What have the Italians done to godmamma Sarah
-to make her so savage at their very name?”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_109" id="page_109"></a>{109}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Ah! that is the question&mdash;what is it?” said I. “God knows!”</p>
-
-<p>“Then <i>you</i> don’t know?” said little Sara. “Yet I could have thought you
-did, you looked so.”</p>
-
-<p>“How did I look?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“As if there were a secret somewhere; as if you were thinking how
-godmamma Sarah would take it; as if you were&mdash;well, just watching her a
-little, and trying to see whether she cared,” said the observant little
-girl.</p>
-
-<p>“Was I, indeed? was I so? Ah! I deserve to be punished. What right have
-I to go and dream over anybody’s looks and frame romances, as she says?
-Heaven forgive me! I’ll go and beg her pardon. I did not mean to do it.
-To think I should be so mean and suspicious! Little Sara, let me go.”</p>
-
-<p>Sara held me fast, clinging with her arms round my waist&mdash;and her
-provoking little face the little witch turned up close to mine. “Tell me
-first what the romance was, godmamma?” said Sara. “She accused you of
-it, and you confess; and I am sure a romance is far more in my way than
-yours. Tell me, please, this very moment, what romance you are making
-up? Has Mr. Luigi anything to do with it? Is it all about godmamma
-Sarah? Tell me directly, or I don’t know what I shall do. Sit down in
-this great chair, and begin&mdash;romance of real life.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, you foolish little girl! there’s many a romance of real life you
-durst not listen to, and I durst not tell you,” cried I. “I am not
-making up any romance. Nonsense! Child, get up. I’ll tell you about your
-Mr. Luigi, which is the only story in my head. He is looking for a lady;
-but that you know&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, and he can’t find her; the Countess Sermoneta,” said Sara, in
-her careless way.</p>
-
-<p>Just then, to my still greater wonder, Sarah returned to the room.
-Evidently she had heard the child’s words. I saw her come to a dead stop
-in the shadow close by the door, and put her hand upon her side, as if
-she were out of breath and had to recover herself. What did this strange
-flitting about mean? In her usual way she never moved from her seat,
-except to go to dinner. Her going away was extraordinary, and her coming
-back more extraordinary still. I could but gaze at her in amazement as
-she came slowly up, threading through the furniture in the half light.
-But Sara, who had still her arms clasped round me, had of course her
-back to her godmamma, and did not see that she had come back to the
-room.</p>
-
-<p>“Wasn’t it the Countess Sermoneta?” said Sara, “I know<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_110" id="page_110"></a>{110}</span> he was asking
-all over Chester for such a person, and was so disappointed. Did you
-never hear of a Countess Sermoneta, godmamma? If you heard it once you
-surely would remember the name.”</p>
-
-<p>Sarah had stopped again while the girl was speaking. Could she have been
-running up and downstairs that her breath came so quick, and she had to
-make such pauses to recover herself? I could not answer Sara for
-watching my sister, feeling somehow fascinated; but then, remembering
-that Sara had detected me in anxious observation of her godmother, I
-hurried on with the conversation to avoid any suspicion of that.</p>
-
-<p>“That is just what I told the young man, my dear child&mdash;that I never had
-heard the name,” said I; “but I promised to try all I could to get some
-news for him. It is very sad he should be disappointed, poor young
-fellow. I promised to ask Ellis, who has been centuries with the
-Mortimers, you know; and I thought, perhaps, your godmamma and I, if we
-had a talk together, might recollect somebody that married a
-foreigner&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here I made a dead pause in spite of myself. Sarah had somehow managed
-to get back into her seat. She was wonderfully pale and haggard, and
-looked like a different creature. She looked to me as if all her powers
-were strained for some purpose, and that at any moment the pressure
-might be too much, and she might give way under it. I could not go on; I
-stopped short all at once, with a feeling that somehow I had been cruel.
-“Not to-night,” I said softly to Sara, “another time.” Sara was obedient
-for a miracle. We broke off the conversation just at that point, with an
-uneasy feeling among us that it had been far more interesting and
-exciting than it ought to have been; and that the best thing to be done
-was to bury it up, and conceal what we had been talking about. Such was
-the immediate result of my easy promise to consult my sister. Sarah sat
-very steadily through all that evening, remaining up even later than
-usual. She took no notice of anything that was said, nor mentioned why
-she went away. We were all very quiet, and had little to say for
-ourselves. What was this forbidden ground?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_111" id="page_111"></a>{111}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_II-c" id="Chapter_II-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> is very odd, when there happens to be any one bit of tabooed ground
-in a family, how impossible it is to keep off it. I daresay every member
-of a household, above childhood, knows that, more or less. If there is
-one matter that some two people are quite sure to disagree upon, whom it
-is quite the business of your life to keep comfortable and on good
-terms, isn’t that matter always turning up somehow? Doesn’t it float
-about in the air, and hover over your head, always ready to poke in when
-it is not wanted, and do what mischief it can? That is my experience, at
-least. And it was so much the worse in our case, because little Sara had
-no idea of keeping quiet, and no notion that her innocent mischief and
-meddling could do any real harm, or have any worse effect than putting
-her godmamma “in a passion.” Putting people in a passion was fun to the
-thoughtless little girl; it never came into her little saucy
-inconsiderate head that Sarah’s passion was not a flash of harmless
-lightning like her own, or that it meant anything which could disturb
-and overturn all my sister’s quiet life, and put me into a fever of
-bewilderment and anxiety. For days after I kept carefully off the
-subject, thinking it would be better to leave a polite message with
-Ellis for the Italian young gentleman if he called, and say I was sorry
-I could not get him any information, than to worry my poor sister, who
-was so unaccountably disturbed by hearing of him. Not that Sarah said
-anything about it; but she looked so haggard and anxious that it went to
-my heart. She came down even earlier than usual and sat up later;
-listened eagerly to all the conversation going on; sometimes, even,
-missed her drive; sat on the watch, as one might have supposed; but when
-she had gone out for her airing one day, I met the carriage,&mdash;and, can
-you believe it, the very blinds were down! If, when all was quiet, and
-nothing had happened, I used to wonder sometimes what sort of life she
-had led when she was younger, what friends she might have had, and what
-was her history when she was abroad, you may fancy how busy my mind was
-on that subject now.</p>
-
-<p>The more I thought it over, of course, the more I could make nothing of
-it. And what do you think at last was the conclusion I came to? That
-Sarah, being a great beauty, and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_112" id="page_112"></a>{112}</span> always accustomed to admiration and
-almost a kind of worship, had forgotten, poor dear soul, that Time had
-changed all that, and that she was an old woman; and that she imagined
-the Italian we talked of, to be one of her old lovers come here to look
-for her, and was quite frightened he should see her, and know she was at
-the Park, and disturb us all with his raptures and passions. After
-turning it over for days and days, that was the very best explanation I
-could come to. Why she should be so tragical about it, to be sure, I
-could not tell. Perhaps she thought the story of all her old gay doings,
-if they were to come to my ears, would not sound just what a quiet old
-maid like me would approve of. Possibly, it might be somebody she had
-jilted that she was frightened to see; perhaps she was afraid of that
-Italian revenge one reads of in books. I do suppose people are still
-stabbed out of jealousy and revenge in Italy; and everybody carries a
-stiletto about him. If that was what Sarah thought of, no wonder she was
-frightened, poor dear. And I must say it quite went to my heart to see
-her so anxious and unsettled, watching every word that was said, and
-turning her keen eyes towards me&mdash;for she would not yield to change her
-seat, so that she might see for herself who came in&mdash;every time the door
-was opened, to know who it was by my face; and, above all, going out
-that dreary drive with the carriage blinds down, carrying all her dismal
-thoughts with her! If she would only have confidence in me, what a
-difference it would make! I could very soon have relieved her mind about
-it, I am sure. What was it to me if she <i>had</i> been very gay and foolish
-when she was young? that was all over, and she was my very own sister.
-To think that I should stand upon my dignity, or blame Sarah for
-anything that was past. But then she was so proud! she always was so
-proud! she would never own to being less than perfect. The best thing
-was to disabuse her mind, if possible, and to make it evident that this
-Italian was a young man, far too young ever to have been a lover of
-Sarah’s. A lover! why, she might have been his mother as far as age was
-concerned&mdash;and that he was seeking, quite openly, an entirely different
-person. If I had been a courageous woman I should have gone through with
-my story the first night, and most likely saved my poor sister a great
-deal of unnecessary anxiety. But I never was brave at going into
-disagreeable conversation. I can’t say I ever was clever at conversation
-at all. And when a person runs away with a mistaken idea, and you can’t
-manage to get it out of her head, and the further you go the worse it
-becomes, what<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_113" id="page_113"></a>{113}</span> can you do? I tried to nerve myself up to going into it,
-but I could not. Whatever it was, it made her vastly uncomfortable, that
-was evident; and really when Sarah gets into her passions there is no
-reasoning with her, and I get flustered immediately, and she won’t
-listen to explanations. So on the whole I never had a more troublesome
-piece of business on my hands.</p>
-
-<p>As for little Sara Cresswell, she was the greatest tease and plague that
-ever was in a house. She worried me morning and night about the romance
-I was making up, and did not hesitate the least to carry on her
-persecution before Sarah, who looked at her with a kind of silent rage,
-which the saucy little puss never found out. But occupied and troubled
-as my mind was, it was impossible not to be amused at that inconsistent
-little creature and her goings on. She had brought out two great trunks
-with her, big enough to have held the whole of my wardrobe for winter
-and summer, though she knew very well we saw no company, and never
-required her to dress in the evening. And as for her lace and worked
-muslin, and all that foolish extravagance, that is so much in fashion
-again, there was no end to the store she had. Years before this I gave
-her the name of puss in velvet, for a very good reason. What do you
-think, at eleven years old, she had persuaded that poor innocent
-helpless man, her unfortunate papa, to do? Why, to get her a velvet
-frock, to be sure&mdash;not a pelisse, but a dress for evenings like any
-dowager old lady! Did ever anybody hear of anything so preposterous? And
-she kept up her fancy still, with velvet jackets, and even a little
-ridiculous velvet apron all trimmed and ornamented. Poor Mr. Cresswell,
-to be sure, was well off, and, indeed, rich in his way; but she might
-have ruined any man with her extravagance; and as to being ashamed of
-it, would lift up her face coolly, and tell you she never pretended to
-want to save papa’s money. At the same time she was as great as ever on
-the subject of dividing it all, and keeping just enough to live on. When
-that condition of things came about, she was to have no servants, but to
-do everything herself, and so were all the other people who were to
-share poor Mr. Cresswell’s money among them. When she went into the
-village with me she gave a wary eye to the cottages, how things were put
-tidy&mdash;and was quite resolved she should do it all, and be as happy as
-possible. But as for anything <i>genteel</i>, or middling, she scouted at it
-with the greatest contempt in the world. It was as good as a play to
-hear her. If my mind had been free to amuse myself, I should have quite
-enjoyed Sara’s vagaries; but, as it was, I could<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_114" id="page_114"></a>{114}</span> only be amused and
-provoked by them now and then. I do believe she was much happier at the
-Park than at home. That big dull house, with all the unchangeable
-furniture, was not a place for a fantastical young girl; she poked about
-the greenhouses in all the back corners where the gardener did not want
-her, and where she was always sweeping down his flower-pots; she
-rummaged through the great suites of rooms that nobody ever occupied;
-she came into the library to help me with my accounts, and tease me out
-of my wits; she went fishing about the house through all the nooks and
-corners, and read all the old novels over again; and then she could not
-persuade and worry me into doing everything she pleased, as she could
-her father. I believe just at that moment Sara being at the Park was a
-great comfort to me.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_III-c" id="Chapter_III-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">O</span><span class="smcap">NE</span> day in the week I found little Sara all by herself in the library,
-very much engrossed about something. Indeed, she was in deep study, if
-that was to be believed. She had the great volume of the history of the
-county spread out before her, and a “Peerage” by her side; and at her
-other hand were some trumpery little books about Chester, of the
-handbook kind, Chester being, as everybody knows, a place of great
-antiquity, and, indeed, a kind of show place in this part of the
-country. She did not hear me when I came in, and as I came to an
-astonished pause behind her, quite bewildered to know what the little
-kitten could want with that great book, it was impossible she could see
-me. She was quite at the end of the county history, going over all the
-details about the families, and looking up the peerage, I could see, to
-find out all the connections and collateral branches. What could the
-child be so anxious about? Not our family, certainly, for we had no
-collateral branches. Just once for an instant, it shot through my mind,
-that her father might somehow have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_115" id="page_115"></a>{115}</span> put that sly secret idea of his own,
-that, if she played her cards well, we might leave her heiress of the
-Park, in little Sara’s head; but a moment’s thought convinced me that
-there was nothing in that. She was far too bold and simple for any such
-plan; she would have repeated it out to me directly and scorned it; and
-she had not an idea of the value of wealth, or what was the good of
-being very rich. If I could have made her a Mortimer, she might have
-thought twice about it, but not for being made simply an heiress; that
-was a matter to which Sara was quite indifferent.</p>
-
-<p>But if it could not be us, who could it be? Had the child, perhaps, an
-admirer among some of the county families? I made a little rustle, I
-suppose, as I stood watching her; for she turned sharp round, found me
-out, and flushed up violently. In her hasty annoyance she threw the book
-over, shutting it upon her morsel of a hand, and defied me, turning
-round on her seat. Certainly if Mr. Cresswell had instructed his
-daughter to be very good, and amiable, and conciliatory, he had taken
-the very best plan to bring about a failure. Oh! but she was contrairy;
-the poor dear unfortunate man, what a life he must have led with that
-little puss!</p>
-
-<p>“Godmamma!” cried Sara, with her eyes flashing, “I never knew that you
-spied upon people before!”</p>
-
-<p>“Nor did I,” said I, quietly. “You may flatter yourself you are quite
-the first that ever found it out. Don’t crush your hand to pieces,
-child! <i>I</i> don’t want to know what you are about.”</p>
-
-<p>On this the impatient little girl threw the book open again with a sound
-that echoed through all the library.</p>
-
-<p>“Everybody may know what I am doing! Now don’t be angry, godmamma, I
-mean I quite intended to tell you if I found anything,” cried Sara.
-“Look here, this is just what it is. You said you had promised to help
-that poor Italian gentleman, and I know quite well you have never tried
-yet to find out anything for him. You need not look suspicious. I am
-interested about him. There is no harm in that, is there? If he were as
-old as Ellis, and as fat as his servant, I should be interested in him
-all the same.”</p>
-
-<p>“Little Sara, never tell fibs,” said I. “I am just fifty, and you are
-only seventeen; but <i>I</i> should not be interested in him, all the same,
-if he were old and fat, I assure you. Let me hear, now, what you have
-been doing. You have nothing at all to do with him, remember; it was me,
-and only me, he applied to; but let us hear what it is.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_116" id="page_116"></a>{116}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Oh, it is nothing at all,” said Sara in a disappointed tone. “I thought
-somebody might be found out, in some of these books, that had married an
-Italian. I like the ‘Peerage;’ it is the funniest thing in the world to
-see how all the people are twisted and linked together like network.
-Everybody in the world must be everybody else’s cousin, if all the
-common people’s families were like the peers.”</p>
-
-<p>“To be sure we are,” said I, “only so distant it won’t count; but I
-don’t see what this has to do with what we were talking of before. Did
-you find nobody that had married an Italian in all the ‘Peerage,’ Puss?”</p>
-
-<p>“You are trying to make me angry, godmamma,” said Sara, “but I shan’t be
-angry. There is no Countess Sermoneta, though I have looked over all the
-county families, and all their connections that I can make out; and
-papa, who knows everybody, does not know any such person, for I made him
-think and tell me; and the only person I can think of who does know
-is&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here little Sara stopped and looked very closely and keenly in my face.</p>
-
-<p>“Who, child?” said I. “Not me, I am certain. Whom do you mean?”</p>
-
-<p>“Can’t you guess?” “Why, godmamma Sarah, to be sure,” cried Sara. “I am
-quite sure she knows who the Countess Sermoneta is.”</p>
-
-<p>“Child!” cried I, “do you know what you are saying? Your godmamma Sarah!
-how dare you think of such a thing!”</p>
-
-<p>“Dare? is it anything wrong?” said Sara. “You are making a great deal
-more mystery of it than I should do, godmamma. After all, it isn’t a bit
-mysterious. Mr. Luigi wants to find this lady, and not knowing the
-country, he has come most likely to the wrong place; and I am sure he
-asks for her plain enough out. He could not do it plainer if she were
-Mrs. Smith instead of Countess Sermoneta; and there is nothing secret
-about it that I can see; only this, that godmamma Sarah knows her, and
-is so cross she won’t tell.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, Sara, don’t say so!” cried I, “you make me quite unhappy. How can
-your godmamma, who never sets her foot out of doors, one may say,&mdash;for
-she would almost see as much in her own chamber as out of the carriage
-windows,&mdash;how could she possibly know a person no one else knows? And as
-for being cross, I really consider it very disrespectful and unkind of
-you, Sara. She never was cross to you. I am sure<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_117" id="page_117"></a>{117}</span> she has always been
-very kind to you. You have had your own way so much, child, and been so
-spoiled, that you think you may say anything; but I must say, criticism
-on your godmothers&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I never criticised my godmothers,” cried Sara, starting up. “I may be
-as wicked as you please, but I never did so. I said godmamma Sarah was
-cross. Why, everybody knows she is cross. I never said, nor pretended,
-she was cross to me; and as for kindness! you don’t expect me, I am
-sure, to give you <i>thanks</i>, godmamma, for that!”</p>
-
-<p>“What could you give me else?” said I, in some little surprise.</p>
-
-<p>Sara stamped her little foot on the floor in vexation and impatience.
-“Godmamma! what thing in the world could I give you but love?” cried the
-provoking little creature. “You don’t suppose <i>thanks</i> would do? I thank
-Ellis when he opens the door for me, or anybody I don’t care for. I had
-rather, if you could, you did think me wicked and ungrateful, than
-suppose I would go and thank <i>you</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>“The child understands!” said I to myself, with tears in my eyes. Ah!
-what multitudes of people there are in the world who don’t understand! I
-was taken by surprise. But Sara was of that disposition that she would
-quarrel with everybody all round, and fight for her secret like a little
-Amazon, before she ever would let anybody find out the real feeling that
-was in her heart. If you think she threw her arms round me and kissed me
-after that, you are quite mistaken. On the contrary, if she could have
-pinched, scratched, or given me a good shake, she would have liked it, I
-believe.</p>
-
-<p>“But I want to know how this notion came into your perverse little
-head?” said I; “how can your godmamma know, Sara? and what could
-possibly make you imagine she did?”</p>
-
-<p>“Why did you watch her so the other night?” cried Sara. “You saw,
-yourself, she knew something about it. Didn’t she listen to every word,
-and look as if she could have told us in a minute? and I am sure she
-thinks it quite pleasant to keep up a secret we don’t know,” cried the
-little girl that knew no better; “it quite interests her. I wonder how
-people can have so little feeling for others. She is not sorry for poor
-Mr. Luigi, nor concerned to think of all his loss of time and patience.
-She would rather keep her secret than satisfy him. What can it matter to
-godmamma Sarah, whether he finds the Countess Sermoneta or not?”</p>
-
-<p>“What, indeed?” said I, with a sigh of bewilderment.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_118" id="page_118"></a>{118}</span> That was just the
-question I could not answer. What had she to do with it? and by what
-strange witchcraft was it, that Sara and I had both instinctively mixed
-her up with this business of which, to be sure, in reality she did not,
-she <i>could</i> not know anything? How dared we come to such conclusions
-with only looks to build upon! Seeing my own thoughts thus reflected in
-little Sara, I became quite shocked at myself.</p>
-
-<p>“Child, it is quite impossible she can know anything about it. Both you
-and I are infatuated,” cried I. “How can Sarah possibly be mixed up in
-such a matter? It is the merest folly. She doesn’t even know your Mr.
-Luigi, nor who he is, nor the very name of the lady he is looking for.
-It is nonsense, Sara, quite nonsense. How is it possible she could
-know?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, godmamma, I’ll tell you how; I have been thinking it out, and I am
-sure I am right. She was a long time abroad, you have often told me, and
-she knew a great many people,” cried Sara; “among the rest she knew this
-lady; and either because she likes her, or because she hates her, or
-because she won’t tell, she keeps all quiet about it. But she can’t help
-knowing, and saying she knows with her eyes. Godmamma Sarah, though she
-takes no notice, knows everything better than you do. Carson gets
-everybody’s news of them. Why, she even made my poor little Alice tell
-her all about Georgy Wilde, you know, and that unlucky brother of
-hers,&mdash;how often he came to our house, and everything about it; and
-godmamma Sarah did not leave me at peace about it either. I am sure they
-know everything that happens up in godmamma Sarah’s room. Godmamma, do
-<i>you</i> never have a gossip with your maid?”</p>
-
-<p>“I have got no maid, child; you know that very well,” said I. “I never
-was brought up with any such luxury; and when I came to my kingdom I was
-too old to begin, and liked my own ways. But at all events, though you
-are so confident in your opinion, I am quite sure your godmamma can have
-no knowledge of this business, so don’t speak of it any more.”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you ask her?” said Sara; “if she knows nothing about it, she will
-not mind being asked. Why should you be afraid of speaking if she does
-not know anything about it? It might be awkward, perhaps, if she knew
-and would not tell; but it can’t matter if she doesn’t know. Will you
-ask her, godmamma? or will you let me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, for heaven’s sake go away, child, and don’t drive me crazy!” I
-cried. “Go upstairs and decide what dress you will wear, you velvet
-kitten; go and gossip with <i>your</i> maid. Here<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_119" id="page_119"></a>{119}</span> am I in a peck of
-troubles, and can’t see my way out or in, and you ask me to let <i>you</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>“You wouldn’t mind it in the least if you thought godmamma Sarah did not
-know,” said the provoking little girl; and so went gliding off,
-satisfied that I was of her opinion. When I was left to myself I dropped
-on a chair in utter despair, and could not tell what to think. The
-safest way was certainly to vow to myself that Sarah had nothing to do
-with it at all. What <i>could</i> she have to do with it? Her strange anxious
-looks <i>must</i> spring from some other cause. For once, at least, instinct
-<i>must</i> have deceived itself. Sarah knew the world and the Italians. She
-was not so easily taken in as we were&mdash;nothing else was possible; and
-she was only annoyed to see how ready to be imposed upon I was.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IV-c" id="Chapter_IV-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HIS</span> conversation, of course, set my thoughts all into a ferment again.
-Little Sara was wonderfully quick-witted, if she was not very wise, as,
-indeed, was not to be expected at her years; and I confess her idea did
-return to my mind a great many times. Sarah might have known an Italian
-Countess in that obscure time of her life which I had no clue to; might
-even know some reason why persons from Italy might be looking for her,
-and might be nervous, for old acquaintance’ sake, of any one finding her
-out. When everything was so blank, any sort of sign-post was
-satisfactory. It was true that I don’t remember seeing Sarah display so
-much anxiety for any other person all her life before. But there might
-be reasons; and if it was a friendly feeling, I should certainly be the
-last person in the world to worry and aggravate my sister. I wish I
-could have composed my mind with all the reasonings I went through; but
-really, when I saw<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_120" id="page_120"></a>{120}</span> poor Sarah sitting all watchful and conscious at her
-knitting, not getting on at all with her work, hearing the least rustle
-in the room, or touch at the door; starting, and trying to conceal her
-start every time the bell rung, with all the features of her face
-growing thinner, and her hands and head trembling more than they ever
-used to do, it was quite impossible for me to persuade myself that her
-mind was not busy with something which had happened, or which was about
-to happen. It might be something as completely unconnected with the poor
-Italian as possible; most likely it was; but <i>something</i> there was which
-agitated her most unaccountably, which I knew nothing about, and which
-she was determined I should not know. She was as conscious that I
-observed this strange change upon her as I was myself; and she faced me
-with such a resolution and defiance! No! I could read it in her eyes,
-and the full look she turned upon me whenever I looked at her&mdash;she would
-die rather than I should find it out.</p>
-
-<p>It is quite impossible, however ignorant you may be of the causes of it,
-to live in the close presence of a person devoured by anxiety without
-being infected by it, more or less. One gets curious and excited, you
-know, in spite of one’s self; and all the more, of course, if the cause
-is quite inexplicable and the trouble sudden. I lived in the kind of
-feeling that you have just immediately before a thunderstorm&mdash;the air
-all of a hush, so that you could hear the faintest stir of a bird, or
-rustle of a branch, yet never knowing the moment when, instead of the
-bird’s motion or the leaves’ tremble, it might be the thunder itself
-that clamoured in your ears.</p>
-
-<p>In this condition of mind Sara’s little side reference to Carson, and my
-sister’s acquaintance with everything that passed, did not fail to have
-its effect upon me, as well as other things. I don’t know that I would
-have been above questioning Carson if I could have got at her; but I did
-not see her once in three months, and could not have had any
-conversation with her without making quite an affair of it, and letting
-all the house know. Carson was not her right name. She had been Sarah’s
-maid when she was a young girl, and had married and lost her husband,
-and come back to the Park just in time to go abroad with her mistress,
-and being well known in the house by her maiden name, never got any
-other. I could not help wondering within myself if she knew, or how much
-she knew, of Sarah’s trouble, and its cause, whatever that might be.
-When the thought rose in my mind whether I might not try to get to
-private speech of Carson, I was out in the grounds<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_121" id="page_121"></a>{121}</span> making a little
-survey, to see how everything was looking for spring, and had just been
-at the lodge to see poor little Mary, who (as I had foreseen from the
-beginning) was bad with the whooping-cough, but no worse than was to be
-expected, and nothing alarming or out of the way. The carriage had just
-gone up to take Sarah out for her drive, and I, all in shelter of a
-clump of holly bushes, became the witness, quite unawares and without
-any intention, of a most singular scene. A footstep went softly by me
-upon the gravel. I was just behind the lodge, and within sight of the
-gate and the road without. I saw Carson, in her cap and in-doors dress,
-go softly out at the gate. She went out into the road, pretending to
-hold out her hand and raise her face to see whether it rained; as if it
-were not perfectly clear to any one that it did not rain, nor would,
-either, till the glass fell. She looked up and down with an anxious
-look, and lingered five minutes or more in that same position. Then she
-came in, and met the carriage just inside the gate, which Williams had
-come to her cottage door to open. “All’s quite bright and clear, ma’am,”
-I heard Carson say; “no appearance of rain. I hope you’ll have a
-pleasant drive.” A moment after the carriage wheeled quickly out, the
-blind being drawn down just as it turned into the road. Carson stood
-looking after it with a kind of grieved, compassionate expression, which
-made me like her better. She answered Williams’ question, “Whatever had
-come over Miss Sarah to make her so particklar about the weather; in the
-carriage, too, as she wouldn’t be none the wiser, wet nor dry!” very
-shortly, sighed, and turned to go back, mincing with true lady’s-maid
-nicety, along the road. The sigh and the pitying look on her face
-determined me. I took a quick step through the bushes and came up to
-her. The holly branches tore a bit of trimming, as long as my finger,
-off my garden hood (I think a hood a great deal more suitable than a hat
-for a person of my years); but I did not mind. Here was a chance if I
-could only use it well.</p>
-
-<p>“Carson,” said I, not to give her time to think, “my sister has surely
-grown very fidgety of late?”</p>
-
-<p>Carson stared at me in an alarmed, confused way; but soon got back her
-self-possession. “My missis was always a bit fidgety, ma’am, though no
-more than she had a right to be,” said this one real, true, faithful
-adherent, whom Sarah had secured to her cause.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know about such rights,” said I. “Now tell me, Carson;&mdash;you
-know a great deal more about her than I do.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_122" id="page_122"></a>{122}</span> Don’t you think I can see
-how nervous and disturbed she is?&mdash;what’s the matter with my sister?
-what is she afraid of? and what do you and she expect to see upon the
-road, that you go out to look that the way is clear, before she ventures
-beyond the gate? Don’t tell me about rain, I know better; what did you
-expect to see?”</p>
-
-<p>Carson was taken entirely by surprise; she faltered, she grew red, she
-wrung her hands; she stammered forth something quite unintelligible,
-consisting of exclamations.&mdash;“Ma’am! Miss Milly!” and “My missis!” all
-confused and run into each other. She had no time to invent anything;
-and her fright and nervousness for the moment quite betrayed her.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t want you to be false to your mistress,” said I, getting
-excited, in my turn, at finding myself so near a clue to this mystery,
-as I thought. “I don’t want you to tell me her secret, if she has
-one&mdash;only let me know. Is there some danger apprehended? Is there some
-one in the country that Sarah is afraid to see? What is wrong? Her limbs
-are trembling under her, and her face growing thinner. Only think of her
-going out with the blinds down, poor forlorn soul; What is wrong? It
-would mend matters, somehow, if I knew.”</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Milly,” said Carson, with a great many little coughs and clearings
-of her throat, “my missis has an attack on her nerves, that’s what it
-is; when she haves them attacks, she grows fidgety, as you say, ma’am. A
-little nice strengthening medicine, now, or a change of air, would be a
-nice thing. I said that to my missis just this very morning. I said ‘A
-few months at Brighton, now, or such like, would do you a world of good,
-ma’am.’ It’s on her nerves, that’s what it is.”</p>
-
-<p>Carson had got quite glib and fluent before she ended this speech; the
-difficulty had only been how to begin.</p>
-
-<p>“Now, Carson!” cried I, “if your mistress’s health suffers, and it turns
-out to be something you could have told me, you may be certain I shall
-call you to account for it. Think what you are saying. We Mortimers
-never have nervous attacks. I know you’re deceiving me. Think again.
-<i>Will</i> you tell me what is wrong?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ma’am, Miss Milly, it’s an attack on the nerves,” cried Carson; “my
-missis has had them before. I couldn’t say more if I was to talk till
-to-morrow. I’ve got my caps to see to, I ask your pardon;&mdash;my missis is
-very particular about her caps.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_123" id="page_123"></a>{123}</span></p>
-
-<p>Upon which Carson somehow managed to elude me, with a mixture of
-firmness and cunning quite extraordinary; and while I had still my eyes
-fixed on her, and was calling her to stay with all the authority of my
-position as acting mistress of the house, contrived to melt in at a back
-door and escape out of my hands, I never could explain how. Talk about
-controlling people with your eye, and swaying them by force of
-character, and all that! I defy anybody to sway a servant in a great
-house who is trained to the sort of thing, and knows how to recollect
-her work at a critical moment, and the nearest way to the back stairs.
-Carson had proved herself too many for me.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_V-c" id="Chapter_V-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> seems I was destined to hear of nothing but this Italian. I had not
-kept faith to him, certainly. I had been startled and thrown back by
-finding out how the idea of him got to be involved in Sarah’s trouble;
-and really I did not care much about the Countess Sermoneta, whom I had
-never heard of. I had been interested in <i>him</i>, I allow; but how could I
-keep up an interest in strangers, with so much closer an anxiety near
-home?</p>
-
-<p>However, just the next day after I had spoken to Carson, Dr. Roberts
-called. Dr. Roberts was our rector; not a relation, but a kind of family
-connection, somehow, I really could not tell how. For three or four
-generations, at least, a Roberts had held our family living. There were
-so few of us Mortimers, as I have already explained, that the living
-could never be of any use to us; and our great-great-grandfathers had
-happened to be intimate, and so it came about that the living was as
-much an hereditary thing to the Robertses as our property was to us. Dr.
-Roberts was the best of good, easy, quiet men.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_124" id="page_124"></a>{124}</span> He preached us a nice
-little sermon every Sunday. He would dine with the people who were in a
-condition to ask him, and make himself as agreeable as possible. He
-patted the children on the head, and wondered how it was that he had
-forgotten their names. Of course he had his own way of doing most
-things, and seldom varied; but then one could always calculate on what
-he would do and say, and wasn’t that a comfort? On the whole, he was the
-most excellent, good drowse of a man I ever knew. He led a very quiet
-life, with little interruption, except when, now and then, a storm
-seized upon him, in the shape of a new curate with advanced ideas. In
-such cases Dr. Roberts generally bowed to the tempest till its force was
-exhausted. He laughed in his quiet way at the young men. “They are all
-for making a fuss when they begin,” he said to me, confidentially; “but
-depend upon it, when they come to our age, Miss Milly, they’ll find the
-advantage of just getting along.” That was his favourite mode of
-progress. He was too stout and easy to make much haste. He loved to get
-along quietly; and really, as ours was a small parish, and nothing
-particular to make a commotion about, I don’t suppose there was much
-harm done.</p>
-
-<p>But only to think of Dr. Roberts becoming one of my assailants! I never
-could have expected any such thing. He came in, bringing some books from
-Miss Kate, who was as unlike him as possible. She was very active in the
-parish, and had something to do, with or for, everybody. She was rather
-Low-Church, and sent us books to read, to do us good, which, for my
-part, I always read faithfully, being very willing to have good done me,
-as far as it was practicable. Dr. Roberts sat down with a little sigh in
-the round easy chair, his particular chair, which Ellis wheeled out for
-him; not with a sentimental sigh, good man; but the road to the Park
-ascends a little, and the doctor, for the same reason as Hamlet, was a
-little scant of breath.</p>
-
-<p>We were all as usual. Sarah, in the shadow of the screen, with her
-knitting-pins in her hands, and her basket of wools and patterns at her
-side; myself opposite, commanding a view of the door and the great
-mirror, and all the room; little Sara, half a mile off, reading at one
-of the windows&mdash;for it was very mild for February, and really one did
-not feel much need of a fire. Dr. Roberts wandered on in his comfortable
-way for half an hour at least; he complimented Miss Mortimer on always
-being so industrious, and me upon my blooming looks! only think of that!
-but I dare say he must have forgotten that it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_125" id="page_125"></a>{125}</span> was Sarah who was the
-beauty; and he gave us a quiet opinion upon the books he had brought us,
-that they were “very much in Kate’s style, you know;” and had a word to
-say about the curate&mdash;just one of his comfortable calls, when he has
-something to say about everybody; nothing more.</p>
-
-<p>“But, by-the-bye,” said the good Doctor, “I had almost forgotten the
-principal thing. There’s something romantic going on among us just now,
-Miss Milly. Where is little Miss Cresswell? she ought to hear this.”</p>
-
-<p>“What is it, Doctor?” I asked, rather startled at this beginning.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, the fact is, I have had a strange sort of visitor,” said the
-Doctor, with a soft little laugh; “or rather two, I should say,” he
-continued, after a little pause, “ha! ha! I had Hubert to him, who
-pretends to speak Italian, you know, ha! ha! He could speak Dante,
-perhaps; but he can’t manage the Transteverine. I can’t say that I did
-not enjoy it a little. These young fellows, Miss Milly, are so happy in
-their own good opinion. Poor Hubert was terribly put out.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who are you speaking of?” asked I again.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, of a visitor I had; or two, as I have just said,&mdash;the master and
-the man. The master speaks English very tolerably; the man is the real,
-native, original article, newly imported. I am in good condition
-myself,” said the good Doctor, giving a quiet unconscious pinch on his
-plump wrist; “but anything like that, you know, goes quite beyond me.
-You would have laughed to see poor young Hubert, poor fellow, talking to
-him in his high Dantesque way, and the fat fellow dashing in through the
-midst of it all, helter skelter, in <i>real</i> Italian. Ha! ha! it was a
-most amusing scene.”</p>
-
-<p>“Italian?” said I, scarcely venturing to speak above my breath, my
-consternation was so great.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Dr. Roberts, calmly, with still a little agitation of
-laughter about his voice&mdash;the discomfiture of the curate amused him
-excessively&mdash;“Italian. The young man called on me to ask after a lady,
-whom he supposed to be living in this neighbourhood, a Countess
-Sermoneta. Did you ever hear of such a person, Miss Milly?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said I, as quietly as I could. Sarah took no notice, showed no
-curiosity, betrayed to me that she <i>had</i> heard this name before, and did
-not learn the particulars of the stranger’s inquiry for the first time.
-In general she liked to hear the news; and though she rarely took any
-part in the conversation, listened to it, and showed that she did so.
-To-day she never<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_126" id="page_126"></a>{126}</span> raised her head. Perhaps I was over-suspicious; but
-this entire want of interest only added to my bewildering doubts.</p>
-
-<p>At this point little Sara came forward, and thrust herself, as was
-natural, into a conversation so interesting to her; I only wondered she
-had not done it sooner.</p>
-
-<p>“That is poor Mr. Luigi, that has been so much talked of in Chester,”
-cried Sara; “and godmamma met him on the road, and promised to try and
-find out for him. Do make her take it up, please Dr. Roberts. Did <i>you</i>
-never hear of the lady either? How strange nobody should have heard of
-her! Who was she, does he say? What does he want with her? do tell us,
-dear Dr. Roberts, please.”</p>
-
-<p>Sarah’s knitting-pins had dropped out of her hand when her goddaughter
-broke in upon Dr. Roberts’ good-humoured drowsy talk. I turned to help
-her to pick them up, but she waved me away. What <i>could</i> be the matter?
-she was trembling all over like an aspen leaf.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear Miss Cresswell, he gave me no information whatever,” said the
-Doctor, smiling most graciously upon the pretty dainty little creature
-in her velvet jacket! “and indeed, he was not quite the kind of man that
-I should undertake to question. Hubert might do it, you know, ha! ha!
-but then he rather stands on the dignity of his office, and would not
-mind putting you, yourself, dangerous though it might be, through your
-catechism. I did all that lively curiosity could do, you may believe, to
-find out who <i>he</i> is, and who <i>she</i> was, but I made nothing of it. He,
-as you seem to know, calls himself Mr. Luigi, and he wants the Countess
-Sermoneta, a person no one in Cheshire ever heard of. I told him I had
-no doubt he was mistaken in the locality; near Manchester, perhaps, or
-Chichester, or some other place with a similar-sounding name; but I
-don’t think he took in what I said. And you saw him, too, Miss Milly?
-very odd, wasn’t it? He must have made a mistake in the place.”</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose so,” said I, quite faintly. Sarah’s knitting-pins had
-actually fallen out of her hands again!</p>
-
-<p>“I promised to inquire and let him know if I heard anything,” said the
-rector; “but if I do not know, and you do not know, Miss Milly,&mdash;we’re
-about the likeliest people in the county, I suspect,&mdash;I don’t think it
-is much good making other inquiries. You are sure you never heard the
-name?”</p>
-
-<p>“Never in my life, so far as I recollect,” said I. “I promised to make
-inquiries, too, and asked him to come to the Park, and I would let him
-know. But that seems merely<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_127" id="page_127"></a>{127}</span> tantalising him. If you will give me the
-address, Dr. Roberts, I will write him a note.”</p>
-
-<p>He gave me the address in his own leisurely way, and then he returned to
-the scene at the rectory, where he had called the curate, who happened
-to be with him at the time, to talk to Mr. Luigi’s servant, not without
-some intention of doing the good young man a mischief, I am sure; and
-how poor Mr. Hubert talked Dantesque, as the Doctor said, shaking his
-portly person with quiet laughter, and the fat Italian burst in with a
-flood of what Dr. Roberts called <i>real</i> Italian. I could understand how
-it would be from what I had seen myself; but I confess I found it very
-difficult to listen and smile as it was necessary to do. There sat
-Sarah, close up in the shelter of her screen, never lifting her head or
-making any sign to show that she heard the conversation; not a smile
-rose upon her face; <i>she</i> saw nothing amusing in it; her lips were firm
-set together, and all the lines of her face drawn tight; and though her
-cheeks retained a kind of unnatural glow, which, for the first time in
-my life, made me think that Sarah used paint, or something to heighten
-her complexion, her brow and chin, and all except that pink spot, were
-ghastly grey, and colourless. She had stopped her knitting altogether
-now, and was rubbing her poor fingers, making believe to be very much
-occupied with them, stooping down to rub the joints before the fire. It
-quite went to my heart to see her sitting so forlorn there, shut up
-within herself. Ah! whatever it was she feared, could I ever be hard
-upon her? could I ever do anything but help her to bear what misfortune
-or anxiety she might be under? I thought Dr. Roberts would never be done
-with his story. I thought he would never go away. I dare say he, on his
-part, thought we had just had a quarrel, or something of that sort, and
-gave Miss Kate an amusing description of us when he went home; for he
-had an amusing way of telling a story. And then, how to get quit of
-little Sara when he was gone? I felt sure my sister would break out upon
-me somehow, very likely without taking any notice of the real reason;
-but all that silent excitement must find an outlet somehow; either that,
-or her mind would give way, or she would break a blood-vessel, or
-something dreadful would happen. I knew Sarah’s ways very well, we had
-been so long together. I knew that, one way or other, she must get it
-out, and relieve herself; and, to be sure, there was nobody whom she
-<i>could</i> relieve her feelings upon but me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_128" id="page_128"></a>{128}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VI-c" id="Chapter_VI-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">A</span><span class="smcap">LL</span> in haste, and in a peremptory tone, to which nobody could be less
-used to than she was, I had sent little Sara away on some commission,
-invented on the spur of the moment, when the door closed on Dr. Roberts.
-The child looked up in my face with an amazed uncomprehension of any
-order issued to her; I fancy I can see her great eyes growing larger and
-blacker as she turned, asking what I meant. But Sara had understanding
-in her, wilful as she was; she saw there was occasion for it, though she
-could not understand how; and whenever her first surprise was over, she
-went off and obeyed me with an alacrity which I shall always remember.
-We two were left alone. I took up some work that lay on the table. I
-could not tell whether it was mine or Sara’s, or who it belonged to. I
-bent my head fumbling over it, too agitated to see what I was doing. Now
-the volcano was about to explode. Now, even, an explanation might be
-possible.</p>
-
-<p>“What was that I heard from you just now?” cried Sarah, in her shrill
-whisper. “You were so lost to all common feeling, you were so forgetful
-of my claims and everybody else’s, that you invited a common foreign
-impostor to come here&mdash;here, without an idea what bad intentions he
-might have&mdash;here to my house!”</p>
-
-<p>“Sarah! for heaven’s sake what do you know about him? What have you to
-do with this young man?” said I, the words bursting, in spite of myself,
-from my lips.</p>
-
-<p>I suppose she did not expect this question. She stopped with a flood of
-other reproaches and accusations ready to be poured forth, staring at
-me&mdash;staring&mdash;there is no other word for it. Her looks were dreadful to
-me. She looked like some baited animal that had turned to bay. Was it my
-doing? Presently her senses came back to her. And I was glad, really
-thankful, when I saw that it was mere passion&mdash;one of her fits of
-temper, poor dear soul! that had returned upon her again.</p>
-
-<p>“You dare to ask me such questions?” she cried; “you, a poor simpleton
-that throws our doors open to any adventurer!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_129" id="page_129"></a>{129}</span> This is what I have to do
-with him. He shall never enter my house. I’ll have him expelled if he
-comes here. I’ll muster the servants and let them know who’s
-mistress,&mdash;you, a rustical fool that knows nothing of the world, and are
-ready to throw yourself at anybody’s head that flatters you a little, or
-me, that knows life and can detect a cheat! What! you’ll go slander me
-in addition, will you? You worry and drive me out of my senses, and then
-pretend that I have something to do with every impostor you pick up in
-the streets. I tell you I’ll have him turned out if he dares to come to
-this house. I will not have my peace molested for your fool’s tricks and
-intrigues. An Italian forsooth! a fellow that will cringe to you, and
-flatter you, and be as smooth as velvet. I’ll have him thrown into
-prison if he dares to come here!”</p>
-
-<p>“Sarah! Sarah! for what reason? the poor young man has never harmed
-you,” I cried, holding up my hands.</p>
-
-<p>She gave a strange bitter cry. “Fool! how can you tell whether he has
-harmed me?” she cried out, wringing her thin hands: then suddenly
-stopping short, came to herself again, and stared at me once more.
-Always that stare of blank resistance&mdash;the hunted creature brought to
-bay. She had been standing while she spoke before. Now she dropped into
-her chair, exhausted, breathless, with a strange look of fury at
-herself. She thought she had betrayed herself&mdash;and most likely so she
-had, if I had possessed the slightest clue by which to find her mystery
-out.</p>
-
-<p>“I beg and entreat you to be calm, and not to excite yourself,” cried I,
-trying, if it were possible, to soothe her. “I know nothing whatever
-about this young Italian, Sarah. I took an interest in him from his
-appearance, and something in his voice&mdash;and because he was a stranger
-and had no friends. But I will write to him immediately not to come&mdash;he
-is nothing to me. He has neither flattered me nor asked anything of me.
-I see no harm in him; but I shall certainly write and say he is not to
-come. You might know well that there is no stranger in the world for
-whom I would cross you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I am used to fair speeches, Milly,” said my sister, “quite used to
-them; and used to being made no account of when all’s done. I, that
-might have been so different. I might have had a coronet, and been one
-of the leaders of life, instead of vegetating here; and, instead of
-respecting me after I have resigned all that, I am to be badgered to
-death by your<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_130" id="page_130"></a>{130}</span> old maid’s folly, and have a vulgar impostor brought in
-upon me to oust me out of my home. Bring in whom you like, thank heaven,
-I’m more than a match for you. I tell you, you shall bring nobody
-here&mdash;it is my house, and was my house before you were born. I shall
-keep it mine, and leave it to whom I like. Your romances and fictions
-are nothing in this world to me. I am mistress, and I will be mistress.
-You are only my younger sister, and I have nothing in the world to
-consult but my own pleasure. I am not to be driven into changing my mind
-by any persecution. I advise you to give up your schemes before you
-suffer for them. Nobody, I tell you,&mdash;no man in the world with evil
-designs against me, and my fortune, and my honour, shall come into my
-house!”</p>
-
-<p>“Sarah! what on earth do you mean? Who is plotting against you? Your
-fortune and your honour? What are you thinking of? You have gone too far
-to draw back now,” cried I, in the greatest excitement. “Explain
-yourself before we go any farther&mdash;what do you mean?”</p>
-
-<p>Once more she stared at me blankly and fiercely; but she had got it out,
-and had more command of herself after she had relieved her mind. Could
-it be only an outburst of passion? but my spirit was up.</p>
-
-<p>“The house is my house as well as yours,” I cried, when she did not
-answer. “I have a voice as powerful as yours in everything that has to
-be done. Yes, I can see what is going to happen. We are the two
-Mortimers that are to send it out of the name. But I will not give up my
-rights, either for the prophecy or for any threats. I have never made a
-scheme against you, nor ever will. You have been wretched about
-something ever since that day you were so late on your drive. I have
-seen it, though I cannot tell the reason. This Italian cannot be any
-connection of yours. He is a young man; he could not be more than born
-when you were abroad. You might be his mother for age. What fancy is it
-that you have taken into your mind, about him? What do you suppose you
-can have to do with him? Sarah, for heaven’s sake! what is the matter?
-If you ever had the slightest love for me, take me into your confidence,
-and let me stand by you now.”</p>
-
-<p>For when I was speaking, some of my words, I cannot tell which, had
-touched some secret spring that I knew nothing of; and dropping down her
-head upon her hands she gave such a bitter, desperate groan that it went
-to my very heart. I ran to her and fell on my knees by her side. I
-kissed her hand, and begged her to have confidence in me. I was ready
-to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_131" id="page_131"></a>{131}</span> promise never to disturb her, never to speak of setting up a will of
-my own again; but I felt I must not give in; it would be now or never.
-She would trust me and tell me her trouble whether it was real or only
-fanciful; and her mind would be relieved when it was told.</p>
-
-<p>But the now passed and the never came. She lifted up her head and pushed
-me away; she looked at me with cold stony eyes; she relapsed without a
-moment’s interval into her usual chilly, common-place, fretful,
-tone&mdash;that tone of a discontented mind and closed heart which had
-disturbed and irritated mine for years. All her old self returned to her
-in an instant. Even her passion had been elevating and great in
-comparison. She looked at me with her cold observant eyes, and bade me
-get up, and not look so like a fool. “But it is impossible to think of
-teaching you what anybody else of your age and position must have
-learned thirty years ago,” she said, twitching her dress, which, when I
-foolishly threw myself down beside her, I had put my knee upon unawares,
-from under me. I cannot describe to anybody the mortified, indignant
-feeling with which I scrambled up. Think of going down upon my knees to
-her, ready to do anything or give up anything in the world for her, and
-meeting this reception for my pains! I felt almost more bitterly
-humiliated and ashamed than if I had been doing something wrong. I, who
-was not a young girl but an elderly woman, long accustomed to be
-respected and obeyed! If she had studied how to wound me most deeply,
-she could not have succeeded better. I got up stumbling over my own
-dress, and hastily went out of the room. I even went out of the house,
-to calm myself down before I met anybody. I would not like to confess to
-all the angry thoughts that came into my mind for the next hour in the
-garden. I walked about thinking to get rid of them, but they only grew
-more and more vivid. My affection was rejected and myself insulted at
-the same moment. You would not suppose, perhaps, that one old woman
-could do as much for another; but I assure you, Sarah had wounded me as
-deeply as if we had been a couple of young men.</p>
-
-<p>When I found my temper was not going down as it ought to do, but on the
-contrary my imagination was busy concocting all sorts of revengeful
-things to say to her, I changed my plan, and went back to the library
-and looked over the newspapers. Don’t go and think over it, dear good
-people, when you feel very much insulted and angry. Read the papers or a
-novel. I went down naturally when I stopped thinking. After all,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_132" id="page_132"></a>{132}</span> poor
-Sarah! poor Sarah! whom did she harm by it? only herself, not me.</p>
-
-<p>But anybody will perceive at a glance that after this I was more
-completely bewildered than ever, and could not undertake to say to my
-own mind, far less to anybody else, whether there was or was not any
-real reason for Sarah’s nervousness, or whether she had actually any
-sort of connection with this young Italian. Sometimes I made myself
-miserable with the idea that the whole matter looked like an insane
-fancy. People when they are going mad, as I have heard, always take up
-the idea that they are persecuted or wronged somehow. What if Sarah’s
-mind was tottering, and happening to catch sight of this young man,
-quite a stranger, and very likely to catch her eye, her fancy took hold
-of him as the person that was scheming against her? The more I thought
-over this, the more feasible it looked; though it was a dreadful thing
-to think that one’s only sister was failing in her reason, and that any
-night the companion of my life might be a maniac. But what was I to
-think? How was it possible, no madness being in the case, that a young
-unknown stranger could threaten the fortune and honour of Sarah
-Mortimer, born heiress of the Park, and in lawful possession of it for
-more than a dozen years? What possible reason could there be for her, if
-she was in her sane senses, fearing the intrigues of anybody, much less
-a harmless young foreigner? But then that groan! was it a disturbed mind
-that drew that involuntary utterance out of her? Heaven help us! What
-could any one think or do in such circumstances? I was no more able to
-write a note to Mr. Luigi that evening than I was to have gone out and
-sought him. Things must take their chance. If he came he must come. I
-could not help myself. Besides, I had no thought for Mr. Luigi and his
-lost Countess. I could think only of my sister. No! no! little Sara was
-deceived, clever as she was. Sarah knew no Countess Sermoneta&mdash;her mind
-disturbed and unsettled, had fixed upon the strange face on the way,
-only as some fanciful instrument of evil to herself.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_133" id="page_133"></a>{133}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VII-c" id="Chapter_VII-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">N</span><span class="smcap">EXT</span> morning at breakfast I found a letter waiting me, in an unknown
-hand&mdash;an odd hand, not inelegant, but which somehow gave a kind of
-foreign look even to the honest English superscription. The address was
-odd, too. It was Miss <i>Milla</i> Mortimer, a very extraordinary sort of
-title for me, Millicent. That is the work of diminutives&mdash;they are apt
-to get misunderstood and metamorphosed into caricatures of names.</p>
-
-<p>The letter inside was of a sufficiently odd description to correspond
-with the address; this is how it was expressed:&mdash;</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>“<span class="smcap">Madame</span>,</p>
-
-<p>“You will pardon me if I say Madame, when I perhaps should ought to
-say Mademoiselle. Madame will understand that the titles of honour,
-which differ in every country, do much of times puzzle a foreigner.
-Since I had the honour of making an encounter with Mademoiselle, I
-have more than once repeated my searches; and all in finding no
-one, it has come to me in the head to go to another place, where
-there may be better of prospects. I have, then, made the conclusion
-to go to Manchester, where I shall find, as they say, some
-countrymen, and will consult with their experience. There are much
-of places, they say, with Chester in the name. I go to make a
-little voyage among them. If I have the happiness to find the
-Contessa, I will take the liberty of making Madame aware of it. If
-it is to fail, I must submit. I shall return to Chester; and all in
-making my homage to Madame, will use the boldness of asking if
-anything of news respecting the Contessa may have come to her
-recollection. In all cases Madame will permit me to remember with
-gratitude her bounty to a stranger.</p>
-
-<p class="r">
-“<span class="smcap">Luigi S&mdash;&mdash;.</span>”<br />
-</p></div>
-
-<p>Sara and I were, as usual, alone at the breakfast-table, and to tell the
-truth, I prized this interval when Sarah’s eyes were not upon me, nor
-all the troublous matters conveyed in her looks present to my mind, as
-quite a holiday season,&mdash;when I could look as I liked, say what I
-pleased, and be afraid of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_134" id="page_134"></a>{134}</span> nobody. Besides, though I was more and more
-uneasy about Sarah, I was not disturbed in my mind about this young man
-to the degree I had been, nor so entirely mystified about any possible
-connection between them. Since last evening, thinking it all over, it
-came to be deeply impressed upon my mind that there was no connection
-between them: that my poor sister knew nothing whatever about him or his
-Italian Countess. Simply that Sarah’s mind, poor dear soul, was giving
-way, and that catching sight of the strange face on the road, she had
-somehow identified and fixed upon it as the face of an unknown agent of
-trouble, the “somebody” who always injures, or persecutes, or haunts the
-tottering mind. It was but little comfort to me to conclude upon this,
-as you may suppose, but it seemed to explain everything. It cleared up a
-quite unintelligible mystery. Poor Sarah! poor soul! She who had known
-such a splendid morning, such an exciting noon, such a dull leaden
-afternoon of life,&mdash;and how dark the clouds were gathering round her
-towards the night!</p>
-
-<p>But being thus eased in my mind about the young man, the kindness I had
-instinctively felt to him came strong upon me. I remembered the look he
-had, quite affectionately, the nice, handsome, smiling, young fellow!
-Who could it be that he was like? Somebody whom I remembered dimly
-through the old ages; and his voice, too? His voice made a thrill of
-strange wondering recollections run through me. Certainly that voice had
-once possessed some power or influence over my mind. I decided he would
-not find his Countess in Manchester. Fancy the ridiculous notion! A
-Countess in Manchester! No. She must belong about Cheshire, somewhere;
-and I must have known her in my youth.</p>
-
-<p>So I read his note twice over, with a good deal of interest, and then
-naturally, as we had talked of him together so often, handed it to Sara.
-Now I did not in the least mean to watch Sara while she read it, but,
-having my eyes unconsciously upon her face at the moment, was startled,
-I acknowledge, by seeing her suddenly flush up, and cast a startled
-glance at me, as if the child expected that something more than usual
-was to be in the note. Who could tell what romantic fancies might be in
-her head? It is quite possible her imagination had been attracted by the
-stranger, and perhaps if she had heard that Mr. Luigi had fallen
-romantically in love with her, Sara would have been less surprised and
-much less shocked than I should. However, there was no such matter, but
-only a sensible, though, I must confess, rather odd and Frenchified<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_135" id="page_135"></a>{135}</span>
-note. After the first glance she read it over very calmly and carefully,
-then laid it down, with something that looked wonderfully like a little
-shade of pique, and cried out in her sharpest tone:</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, godmamma, how sensible!&mdash;to be sure to be an Italian, and young, he
-must be a perfect miracle of a Luigi. Actually, because there are
-countrymen of his in Manchester&mdash;music teachers and Italian masters, of
-course&mdash;to give up an appointment with a lady, and at such a house as
-the Park! I think he must be quite the most sensible and pretty-behaved
-of young men.”</p>
-
-<p>“I think he shows a great deal of sense,” said I, not altogether pleased
-with the child’s tone; “but if you will excuse me saying so, Sara, I
-think it is just a little vulgar of you to say ‘at such a house as the
-Park.’<span class="lftspc">”</span></p>
-
-<p>Sarah flushed up redder and redder. I quite thought we were to have a
-quarrel again.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, of course, godmamma, if I had been speaking of a&mdash;of an English
-gentleman; but you know,” said the wicked little creature, looking
-boldly in my face, “you set him down at once, whenever you heard of him,
-as an adventurer,&mdash;a count, you know,&mdash;one of the fellows that came
-sneaking into people’s houses and wanted to marry people’s daughters. I
-am only repeating what you said, godmamma. It was not I that said it.
-And now you perceive this good respectable young man does not attempt
-anything of the kind.”</p>
-
-<p>“But then you see we, at the Park, have no daughters to marry,” said I,
-looking at her rather grimly.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, to be sure, that makes all the difference,” cried Sara, bursting
-open her own letters with a half-ashamed, annoyed laugh. I have no doubt
-she had said twice as much as she meant to say, the impatient little
-puss, and was ashamed of herself. She had set her heart on seeing Mr.
-Luigi, that was the plain truth of the matter. Seeing him at the Park,
-where of course papa could have nothing to say against the introduction,
-hearing all about his search after the unknown lady, exercising her
-wiles upon him, turning him into a useless creature like that poor boy
-Wilde, in Chester, who was good for nothing but to waylay her walks and
-go errands for her. That was what she wanted, the wicked little
-coquette. It was just as well Mr. Luigi had taken care of himself, and
-kept out of the way. I really thought it was right to read her a lecture
-on the occasion.</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, you are quite disappointed the poor young man is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_136" id="page_136"></a>{136}</span> not coming. You
-wanted to make a prey of him, you artful puss,” said I. “You thought,
-out here in the country, with nothing else to do, it would be good fun
-to make him fall in love with you&mdash;you know you did! And I think it is
-not at all a creditable thing, I assure you. How can you excuse yourself
-for all the damage you have done to that young Wilde?”</p>
-
-<p>“Damage!” cried Sara. “If I am a puss, I may surely pounce upon a mouse
-that comes in my way,” she said spitefully; and then putting on her most
-innocent look;&mdash;“but, indeed, it is very shocking to have such
-suspicions of me, especially as I am a fright now, godmamma Sarah says.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is just as well Mr. Luigi does not put himself in your way,” said I;
-“and it would be very wicked of you to do any harm to him, or attempt
-such a thing; and I say so particularly, because I think you are quite
-inclined to it, Sara, which is very wrong and very surprising. You are
-not such a beauty as your godmamma Sarah was, but you have just the same
-inclinations. It is something quite extraordinary to me.”</p>
-
-<p>The little puss looked at me with her wicked eyes blazing, and her face
-flushed and angry. She looked quite beautiful in spite of her short
-little curls. I am not sure that she might not, when she grew older, be
-very near as great a beauty as her godmamma. She did not make any
-answer, but bit her lips, and set her little red mouth, and looked a
-very little sprite of mischief and saucy daring. She was not abashed by
-what I said to her. She was a thoughtless child, aware only of a strange
-mischievous power she had, and thinking no harm.</p>
-
-<p>“For I know,” said I, half to myself, “that poor Mr. Luigi will come
-back. I feel as if I had known him half a lifetime ago. His voice is a
-voice I used to hear when I was young. I can’t tell whose voice it is,
-but I know it. He’ll come back here. He won’t find the lady in
-Manchester, or any other chester; he’ll find her in Cheshire, if he
-finds her at all.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did godmamma Sarah say so?” cried Sara, suddenly losing her own
-self-consciousness in her interest in this bit of mystery.</p>
-
-<p>“Child, do not be rash,” cried I, in some agitation. “Your godmamma
-knows nothing about her; it is all a mistake.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did you ask her?” said Sara. “Godmamma, it is written in her face. When
-the rector was speaking, when you were speaking, even when I was
-speaking, it was quite evident she knew her abroad, and remembered who
-she was; but she will<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_137" id="page_137"></a>{137}</span> not tell. It is not a guess; I am perfectly sure
-of it. She knows all about her, and she will not tell.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is quite a mistake, Sara,” cried I, trembling in spite of myself.
-“She has taken some fancy into her head about Mr. Luigi, some merely
-visionary notion that he has some bad intention, I cannot tell you what.
-But I am certain she knows nothing about this Countess. Child, don’t
-think you know better than anybody else! I have thought a great deal
-about it, and made up my mind. Your godmamma has grown fanciful, she has
-taken this into her head. Don’t be rash in speaking of your fancies; it
-might give her pain;&mdash;and your idea is all a mistake.”</p>
-
-<p>“Will you ask her? or will you let me ask her?” cried Sara. “If she says
-‘No,’ I shall be satisfied.”</p>
-
-<p>“I will do no such thing,” said I. “She is my only sister, I will do
-nothing to molest or vex her; and, Sara, while I am here, neither shall
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>Sara did not say anything for a few minutes. She allowed me to pick up
-my letter in silence, for we had finished breakfast. She let me gather
-up my papers and ring the bell, and make my way to the door. Then, as I
-stood there waiting for Ellis, she brushed past me rapidly. “Godmamma”
-said Sara, looking into my face for a moment, “all the same, <i>she
-knows</i>,” and had passed the next instant, and was gliding upstairs
-before I had recovered my composure. How pertinacious she was! Against
-my will this had an effect on me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_138" id="page_138"></a>{138}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VIII-c" id="Chapter_VIII-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">G</span><span class="smcap">REAT</span> and many were my musings what steps I ought to take; or, indeed,
-whether I ought to take any steps in the strange dilemma I was in. I
-considered of it till my head ached. What if Sarah’s mind were possibly
-just at that delicate point when means of cure might be effectual? but
-how could <i>I</i> bring her to any means of cure? There have been many
-miserable stories told about false imputations of insanity and dreadful
-cruelties and injustice following, but I almost think there might be as
-many and as sad on the other side, about friends watching in agony,
-neither able nor willing to take any steps until it was too late, far
-too late, for any good. This was the situation I felt myself in; no
-matter whether I was right or wrong in my opinion, this was how I felt
-myself. I suppose nobody can think of madness appearing beside them in
-the person of their nearest companion, without a dreadful thrill and
-terror at their heart; but at the same time I felt that, however
-inevitable this might be, I must first come to it unmistakably. I must
-first see it, hear it, beyond all possibility of doubt, before I
-ventured to whisper it even to the secret ear of a physician.</p>
-
-<p>All this floated through my mind with that dreadful faculty of jumping
-at conclusions that imagination always has. Did ever anybody meet with
-any great misfortune, which has been hanging some time over them,
-without going through it a thousand times before the blow really fell,
-and the dreadful repetition was done away with once and for ever? How
-many times over and over, sleeping and waking, does the death-bed
-watcher go through the parting that approaches before it really comes?
-Dying itself, I think,&mdash;one naturally thinks what kind of a process that
-is, as one comes near the appointed natural period of its coming,&mdash;dying
-itself must be rehearsed so often, that its coming at last is a real
-relief to the real actor. Not only does what is real go through a
-hundred performances in one’s imagination, but many a scene appals us
-that, thank heaven, we are never condemned to go through with. I could
-not see before me what was to happen, nor into Sarah’s mind<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_139" id="page_139"></a>{139}</span> to know
-what was astir there; but I tortured myself all the same, gathering all
-the proofs of this new dismal light thrown upon her, in my mind. All
-insane people make up a persecutor or pursuer for themselves. Poor Sarah
-had found hers in the strange face,&mdash;it was so unusual in our quiet
-roads to see a strange face!&mdash;which she met all at once and without
-warning, on the quiet road.</p>
-
-<p>I recollected every incident, and everything confirmed my idea. She had
-taken a panic all at once,&mdash;she had driven five miles round to get out
-of his way; from that hour painful watchfulness and anxiety had come to
-her face. Carson was sent out to see that the road was clear, before,
-poor soul, she would venture out, though with the carriage blinds drawn
-down. Ah! I think if my only communication with the open air and the
-out-of-doors world was in the enclosure of that carriage with the blinds
-drawn down, I should certainly go mad, and quickly too! I had a long
-afternoon by myself in the library that day. I went back, as well as my
-memory would carry me, into the history of the Mortimers. Insanity was
-not in our family,&mdash;no trace of it. We had never been very clever, but
-we had been obstinately sane and sober-minded. My mother’s family too,
-the Stamfords, so far as I know, were all extremely steady people. It is
-odd when one individual of a family, and no more, shows a tendency to
-wander; at sixty, too, all of a sudden, with no possible reason. But who
-can search into the ways of Providence? It might perhaps never go any
-further; it might be the long silence of her life, and perhaps long
-brooding over such things as may have happened to her in the course of
-it. Something must have happened to Sarah; she was not like me. She had
-really lived her life, and had her own course in the world. She had
-known her own bitterness, too, no doubt, or she&mdash;she, the great beauty,
-the heiress,&mdash;would not have been Sarah Mortimer sitting voiceless by
-the fireside. She had been too silent, had too much leisure to go over
-her life. Her brain had rusted in the quietness; terrors had risen
-within her that took form and found an execution for themselves
-whenever, without any warning, she saw a strange face. This explained
-everything. I could see it quite clear with this interpretation; and
-without this nothing could explain it; for the young Italian looking for
-his friend, the lady whom nobody had ever heard of, could be nothing in
-the world to Sarah Mortimer.</p>
-
-<p>Thinking over this, it naturally occurred to me that it would be
-important to let my poor sister know that this innocent<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_140" id="page_140"></a>{140}</span> young object of
-her fears had left the neighbourhood. It might, even, who knows? restore
-the balance to her poor mind. I got up from my chair the moment I
-thought of that, but did not go out of the library quite so quickly as
-you might have supposed, either. I was afraid of Sarah’s passions and
-reproaches; I always was. She had a way of representing everybody else
-as so unkind to her, poor dear soul, and of making out that she was
-neglected and of no consequence. Though I knew that this was not the
-case, I never could help feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps if I could only
-have put myself in her place, I might have felt the same; but it made me
-very timid of starting any subject before her that she did not like,
-even though it might be to relieve her mind.</p>
-
-<p>I went slowly into the drawing-room. I thought most likely little Sara
-was dressing upstairs, and we two would have a little time to ourselves.
-When I went into the great room it was lying in the twilight, very dim
-and shadowy. The great mirror looked like another dimmer world added on
-to this one which was already so dim,&mdash;a world all full of glimpses and
-gliding figures, and brightened up by the gleams of the firelight which
-happened to be blazing very bright and cheerful. There were no curtains
-closed nor blinds down. Four great long windows, each let into the
-opposite wall a long strip of sky, the grass, and leafless trees, giving
-one a strange idea of the whole world outside, the world of winds, and
-hills, and rivers, and foreign unknown people. It was not light that
-came in at these windows; it was a sort of grey luminous darkness, that
-led our eyes up to the sky and blurred everything underneath. But in the
-centre of the room burned that ruddy centre of fire, a light which is
-quite by itself, and is not to be compared to anything else. Straight
-before me, as I stood at the door, was Sarah’s screen, shutting out as
-much light as it could, and of course concealing her entirely; but
-beyond, full in the ruddy light on the other side of the screen, with
-the red fire reddening all over her velvet jacket, her glossy hair, and
-the white round arms out of those long wide sleeves, sat little Sara
-Cresswell, on a footstool opposite her godmamma, and talking to her. I
-cannot say Sara was in a pretty attitude. Young ladies now-a-days are
-sadly careless in their ways. She was stooping quite double, with one of
-her hands thrust into her hair, and the fire scorching her complexion
-all to nothing; and one of the long, uncovered windows, with the blind
-drawn up to the very top, you may be sure by Sara’s own wilful hands,
-was letting in the sky light over her,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_141" id="page_141"></a>{141}</span> like a very tall spirit with
-pale blue eyes, so chilly, and clear, and pale, that it looked the
-oddest contrast possible to the firelight and the little velvet kitten
-then in front of it, all scorched and reddened over, as you could fancy;
-velvet takes on that surface tint wonderfully. I could see nothing of
-Sarah in the shelter of her screen; but there sat the little puss in
-velvet, straight before her, talking to her as nobody else ever ventured
-to talk. I have been long telling you how that fireside scene looked,
-just to get my breath. I had been trying to work myself up to the proper
-pitch to enter upon that subject again with my poor sister. But lo! here
-had little Sara come on her own account and got it all over. I could see
-at a glance that there was no more to be said.</p>
-
-<p>I came forward quietly and dropped into my own seat without saying
-anything. Dear, dear! had it been an insane, unreasonable terror, or had
-it been something real and serious that she knew, and she alone? Sarah
-was leaning a little towards the fire, rubbing the joints of her
-fingers, which were rheumatic, as I have mentioned before; but it was
-not what she was doing that struck me; it was the strange look of ease
-and comfort that had somehow come upon her. Her whole person looked as
-if it had relaxed out of some bondage. Her head drooped a little in a
-kind of easy languor: her muslin shawl, lined with pale blue, hung
-lightly off her shoulders. Her pins were laid down orderly and neat on
-her basket with the wools. Her very foot was at ease on the footstool.
-How was it? If it had been incipient madness, could this grateful look
-of rest have come so easily? Would the fever have gone down only at
-knowing he was away? Heavens know! I sat all silent in my own chair in
-the shadow, and felt the water moisten my old eyes. What she must have
-gone through before this sudden ease could show itself so clearly in
-every limb and movement! What an iron bondage she must have been putting
-on! What a relief this was! Her comfort and sudden relaxation struck me
-dumb. I was appalled at the sight of it. My notion about insanity,
-dreadful to think of, but still natural and innocent, was shaken; a
-restless uneasiness of a different description rose upon my mind. Could
-he indeed be anything to her, this young stranger? Could she in her own
-knowledge have some mysterious burden which was connected with his
-coming or going? Could she have <i>recognised</i>, instead of only finding an
-insanely fanciful destiny in his strange face? Impossible! That foreign
-life of hers, so obscure and mysterious to me, was of an older period
-than his<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_142" id="page_142"></a>{142}</span> existence. <i>He</i> could bring no gossip, no recollections to
-confound her. At the time of her return he could scarcely have been
-born. Thus I was plunged into a perfect wilderness of amazed questions
-again.</p>
-
-<p>“When little Sara went off to dress,&mdash;she dressed every evening, though
-we never saw anybody,&mdash;I stole to the door after her, and caught her
-little pink ear outside the door in the half-lighted hall. She gave a
-little shriek when I came suddenly behind her. I believe she thought I
-was angry, and came to take her punishment into my own hand.</p>
-
-<p>“What did you say to your godmamma, Sara?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing,” said the perverse child. Then, after a little pause, “I told
-her that your Mr. Luigi was gone, godmamma; and that he was a very
-pretty-behaved young man; and asked her who the Countess Sermoneta was.”</p>
-
-<p>“You did?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; but she did not mind,” said Sara. “I am not sure if she heard me;
-she gave such a long sigh, half a year long. Godmamma Sarah’s heart must
-be very deep down if it took <i>that</i> to ease it; and melted all out, as
-if frost was over somehow, and thaw had come.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! and what more?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing more,” cried the child. “Don’t you think I have a little heart,
-godmamma? If she felt it so, could I go poking at her with that
-Countess’s name? Ah! you should have seen her. She thawed out as if the
-sun was shining and the frost gone.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!” I cried again. It went to my heart as well. “Come down and talk,
-little Sara,” said I, and so went back to the drawing room, where she
-sat looking so eased and relieved, poor soul, poor soul! I was very
-miserable. I had not the heart to ring for lights. I sat down in my
-chair with all sorts of dismal thoughts in my heart. She did not speak
-either. She was rubbing her rheumatic fingers, and taking in all the
-warmth and comfort. She looked as if somehow she had escaped&mdash;good
-heavens! from what?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_143" id="page_143"></a>{143}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IX-c" id="Chapter_IX-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IX.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">N</span><span class="smcap">EXT</span> day that change upon Sarah’s whole appearance continued, and
-throughout the whole week. She was like herself once more. Carson made
-no more stealthy expeditions out of doors before my sister set out on
-her drive. Sarah did not stir in her chair and eye me desperately when
-the door opened. She even seemed to fall deaf again with that old, soft,
-slight hardness of hearing which I used to suspect in her. There was no
-pressure on her heart to startle her ears.</p>
-
-<p>While I in the meantime tried my best to think nothing about it, tried
-to turn a blank face towards what might happen, and to take the days as
-they came. I have not come to be fifty without having troubles in
-plenty. For the last dozen years, to be sure, there had been only common
-embarrassments. The fewer people one has to love, the fewer pleasures
-and joys are possible, the less grow our sorrows. It is cold comfort,
-but it is a fact notwithstanding. Grief and delight go hand in hand in
-full lives; when we are stinted down into a corner both fall off. We
-suffer less, we enjoy less; we suffer nothing, we enjoy nothing in time,
-only common pricks and vexations, which send no thrill to the slumbering
-heart. So we had been living for years; happy enough, nothing to disturb
-us; or not happy at all, if you choose to take that view of the subject;
-true either way. Not such a thing as real emotion lighting upon our
-house, only secondary feelings; no love to speak of, but kindness; no
-joy, but occasional pleasure; no grief, but sometimes regret. A very
-composed life, which had been broken in upon quite suddenly by a
-bewildering shadow,&mdash;tragic fear, doubt, alarm,&mdash;sudden mystery no ways
-explainable, or madness explainable but hopeless. In this pause of
-dismay and doubt, while the dark, unknown, inexplicable figure had
-turned away from the door a little, it was hard to turn from its
-fascination and go quietly back to that quiet life.</p>
-
-<p>Little Sara Cresswell came much about me in the library in those days;
-she interested herself in my business much; she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_144" id="page_144"></a>{144}</span> tried to interfere with
-my work and help me, as the kitten called it. All the outlays on the
-estate, the works that were going on, the improvements I loved to set
-a-going&mdash;which did not all come to anything,&mdash;and the failures, of which
-to be sure there were plenty&mdash;pleased the impatient creature mightily. I
-was considered rather speculative and fanciful among the Cheshire
-squires; they did not approve of my goings on; they thought me a public
-nuisance for preserving no game, and making a fuss about cottages. But I
-am sorry to say little Sara did not agree with the squires. She thought
-my small bits of improvements very slow affairs indeed; she grew
-indignant at my stinginess and contracted ideas. She thought any little
-I did were just preliminary attempts not worth mentioning. When was I to
-begin the work in earnest she wanted to know?</p>
-
-<p>“What work, Sara?”</p>
-
-<p>“What work? Why, here are you, godmamma, an old lady&mdash;you will never
-grow any wiser or any better than you are,” cried the intolerable child.
-“You can’t get any more good out of all that belongs to the Park than
-just your nice little dinners, and teas, and the carriage, and the
-servants, and, perhaps, half-a-dozen dresses in the year,&mdash;though I do
-believe three would be nearer true,&mdash;and to keep all these farms, and
-fields, and meadows, and orchards, and things, all for godmamma Sarah
-and you! Don’t you feel frightened sometimes when you wake up suddenly
-at night?”</p>
-
-<p>“You saucy little puss!&mdash;why?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“To think of the poor,” said Sara, with a solemn look. She held herself
-straight up, and looked quite dignified as she turned her reproving eyes
-on me. “Quantities of families without any homes, quantities of little
-children growing up worse than your pigs, godmamma, quantities of people
-starving, and living, and crowding, and quarrelling in black streets not
-as broad as this room, with courts off from them, like those horrid,
-frightful places in Liverpool. While out here you are living in your big
-rooms, in your big house, with the green park all round and round you,
-and farmers, and gardeners, and cottagers, and servants, and all sorts
-of people, working to make you comfortable; with more money than you
-know what to do with, and everything belonging to yourself, and nobody
-to interfere with you. And why have you any right to it more than
-<i>them</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>Little Sara’s figure swelled out, and her dark eyes shone bright as she
-was speaking. It took away my breath. “Are you a Chartist, child?” I
-cried.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_145" id="page_145"></a>{145}</span></p>
-
-<p>“I think I am a Socialist,” said Sara, very composedly; “but I don’t
-quite know. I think we should all go shares. I have told you so a dozen
-times, godmamma. Suppose papa has twelve hundred a year,&mdash;I do believe
-he has a great deal more,&mdash;isn’t it dreadful? and all, not out of the
-ground like yours, but from worrying people into lawsuits and getting
-them into trouble. Well, suppose it was all divided among a dozen
-families, a hundred a year. People can live very comfortably, I assure
-you, godmamma, upon a hundred a year.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who told you, child?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“The curate has only eighty,” said Sara; “his wife dresses the baby and
-makes all its things herself, and they have very comfortable little
-dinners. The window in my old nursery&mdash;the end window you know&mdash;just
-overlooks their little parlour. They look so snug and comfortable when
-the baby is good. To be sure it must be a bore taking one’s dinner with
-the baby in one’s lap; and I am sure she is always in a fright about
-visitors coming. I think it would be quite delightful to give them one
-of papa’s hundreds a year.”</p>
-
-<p>“In addition to their eighty?” said I. “Why, then, there is an end of
-going shares.”</p>
-
-<p>Sara coughed and stammered for a moment over this, quite at fault; but
-not being troubled either about logic or consistency, soon plunged on
-again as bold as ever.</p>
-
-<p>“Whatever you say, godmamma, people can live quite comfortable on a
-hundred a year. I have reckoned it all up; and I don’t see really any
-reason why anybody should have more. Only fancy what a quantity of
-hundreds a year you and godmamma Sarah might distribute if you would.
-And, instead of that, you only build a few cottages and give a few
-people work&mdash;work! as if they had not as good a right as anybody to
-their living. People were not born only to work, and to be miserable,
-and to die.”</p>
-
-<p>“People were born to do a great many harder things than you think for,
-Sara,” said I. “Do you think I am going to argue with a little velvet
-kitten like you? I advise you to try your twelve families on the twelve
-hundreds a year. But what do you suppose you would do if your godmamma
-and I, having no heirs, left the Park to you, and you had your will, and
-might do what you pleased?”</p>
-
-<p>What put this into my head I cannot say; but I gave it utterance on the
-spur of the moment. Sara stared at me for a moment, with her pretty
-mouth falling a little open in astonishment. Then she jumped up and
-clapped her hands. “Do, godmamma!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_146" id="page_146"></a>{146}</span>” she cried out, “oh do; such a
-glorious scatter I should make! everybody should have enough, and we’d
-build the loveliest little chapel in existence to St. Millicent, if
-there is such a saint. I have always thought it would be perfectly
-delightful to be a great heiress. Godmamma, do!”</p>
-
-<p>To see her all sparkling with delight and eagerness quite charmed me.
-Had she ever heard a hint of being left heiress to the Park, of course
-she must have looked wretched and conscious. Anybody would that had
-thought of such a great acquisition. Sara had not an idea of that. She
-thought it the best fun possible. She clapped her hands and cried, “Do,
-godmamma!” She was as bold as an innocent young lion, without either
-guile or fear.</p>
-
-<p>“It should be tied down so that you could not part with a single acre,
-nor give away above five pounds at a time,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah!” said Sara, thoughtfully; “I dare say there would be a way of
-cheating you somehow though, godmamma,” she said, waking up again with a
-touch of malice. “People are always cheated after they are dead. I knew
-a dear old lady that would not have her portrait taken for anybody but
-one friend whom she loved very much; but, what do you think? after she
-was gone they found the wicked wretch of a photographic man that kept
-the <i>thing</i>,&mdash;the negative they call it,&mdash;and printed scores of
-portraits, and let everybody have one. I would have given my little
-finger to have had one; but to go and cheat her, and baulk her after she
-was dead, and all for love, that is cruel. I would rather go against
-what you said right out, godmamma, than go against what I knew was in
-your heart.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, Sara, you don’t know anything about it,” said I. “If you had a
-great deal of money all to yourself, and could do anything you liked
-with it,&mdash;as heaven knows you may have soon enough!&mdash;and were just as
-foolish with it as you intend, how disgusted you would be with your
-charity, to be sure, after a while! What a little misanthrope you would
-grow! What mercenary, discontented wretches you would think all the
-people! I think I can see you fancying how much good you are doing, and
-yet doing only harm instead. Then that disagreeable old fellow,
-experience, would take you in hand. The living are cheated as well as
-the dead. We are all cheated, and cheat ourselves. Nothing would make me
-go and have my portrait taken; but I don’t deny if I found out that
-people had got it spontaneously, and handed it about among themselves
-all for love, I should not be angry. You<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_147" id="page_147"></a>{147}</span> are a little goose. You don’t
-know what manner of spirit you are of.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is very easy talking, godmamma,” said Sara. “I was watching
-yesterday when godmamma Sarah went out for her drive. The groom and the
-boy were hard at work ever so long with the carriage and horses before
-it was ready. I saw them out of the window of Alice’s room while she was
-mending my dress for me. Then came old Jacob to the door with the
-carriage. Then came godmamma Sarah leaning on Carson’s arm to go
-downstairs. So there were two great horses and four human
-creatures,&mdash;three men and a woman,&mdash;all employed for ever so long to
-give one old lady a half-hour’s drive, when a walk would have done her
-twenty times as much good,” concluded the child hastily, under her
-breath.</p>
-
-<p>“You speak in a very improper manner;&mdash;an old lady! You ought to have
-more respect for your godmamma,” said I, indignantly. “Your godmamma has
-nothing that is not perfectly suitable to her condition of life.”</p>
-
-<p>“But godmamma Sarah is an old lady, whether I am respectful or not,”
-said the girl stoutly. “When I see ladies driving about I wonder at
-them. Two great horses that could fight or plough; and two great men
-that might do the same; and all occupied about one lady’s drive! If I
-were queen I would do away with drives! Ah! shouldn’t I like to be
-Semiramis, the Semiramis of the story, that persuaded the king to let
-her be queen for a day, and turned everything upside down, and then&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Cut off the king’s head. Would you do it, Sara, after he had trusted
-you?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Sara came to a sudden pause. “I would not mind about cutting off his
-head; but, to be sure, being <i>trusted</i> is different. As if it were not a
-story, not a word true! But please, godmamma,” cried the wild creature,
-making me a curtsey, “don’t leave me the Park. I don’t want to be
-trusted, please. I want to have my own way.”</p>
-
-<p>Which was the truest word she ever said.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_148" id="page_148"></a>{148}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_X-c" id="Chapter_X-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter X.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> days wore away thus in talks with little Sara, and vague expeditions
-out of doors, a misty sort of confused life. I felt as one feels when
-one knows of some dreadful storm, or trial, that has passed over for a
-little, only to come again by and by. After seeing Sarah show so much
-feeling of one kind and another,&mdash;distress, anxiety, and apprehension
-one day, and comfort and relief another,&mdash;I could not bind myself with
-the thought that this could possibly pass off and come to nothing. Such
-things don’t happen once and get done with. There was a secret reason
-somewhere working all the same, either in her own mind alone, or in the
-past and her history as well; and one time or other it must make its
-appearance again. Whether it was her mind giving way; and in that case
-it did not matter whether Mr. Luigi came back or not, for if he did not
-appear, fancy would, doubtless seize upon some other; or whether it was
-some person this young man resembled, or some part of her life which she
-was afraid to hear of again which he recalled to her, in any case it was
-sure to break out some other day; and I cannot tell what a strange
-uncomfortable excitement it brought into my life, and how the impulse of
-watching came upon me. Sarah’s smallest motions got a meaning in my
-eyes. I could not take things easily as I had used to do. She had
-always, of course, been very important in the house; but she had been a
-kind of still life for a long time now. She would not be consulted about
-leases or improvements, or anything done on the estate. So long as
-everything was very comfortable and nice about her,&mdash;the fire just to
-her liking, which Ellis managed to a nicety; the cooking satisfactory;
-her wools nicely matched, and plenty of new patterns; her screen just in
-the proper position, protecting her from the draught; and the Times
-always ready when she was ready for it,&mdash;Sarah got on, as it appeared,
-very comfortably. Despite all that, to be sure she would get angry
-sometimes; but I was used to it, and did not mind much. Only to think
-that a person, who had either in the past or in her own mind<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_149" id="page_149"></a>{149}</span> something
-to work her up to such a pitch of excitement, <i>could</i> live such a life!
-She seemed to have quite resumed it now with a strange kind of
-unreasoning self-consolation. If it was the Italian that disturbed her,
-how could she persuade herself that he was not coming back again? Her
-quiet falling back into her old way was inexplicable to me.</p>
-
-<p>I seemed to myself to stand just then in a very strange position. Sarah
-on one side of me all shut up and self secluded, with a whole life all
-full of strange incidents, dazzling, brilliant, unforgotten years,
-actual things that had happened locked in her silent memory; and little
-Sara on tiptoe, on the other side, eager to plunge in her own way into
-the life she dreamt of, but knew nothing about. All the wild notions of
-the little girl, ridiculous-wise opinions, poor dear child, her
-principles of right and justice with which she would rule the world, and
-all her innocent break-downs and failures, ever in her fancy, came
-pouring down upon me, pelting me at all times. And on the other side was
-my sister, content to spend her life in that easy-chair, my sister whom
-I knew nothing about, whose memory could go out of the Park drawing-room
-into exciting scenes and wonderful events which I had never heard of.
-How strange it was! I don’t remember much that I did in those days. I
-lived under a confused, uneasy cloud, ready enough to be amused with
-Sara’s philosophy. I am not sure that I was not all the more disposed
-to smile at and tease the dear child, and be amused by all the new ideas
-she started, for the troubled sensation in my own mind. Nothing could
-have happened, I think, that would have surprised me. Sometimes it came
-into my head whether my father could have done, or tried to do,
-something when he was abroad, to cut us off from the succession; and
-once I jumped bolt upright out of my seat, thinking&mdash;what if my father
-had married abroad and had a son, and we were living usurpers, and Sarah
-knew of it! How that idea did set my heart beating! If I had not been so
-much frightened for her passions, I should have gone to her directly and
-questioned her. But to be sure my father was not the man to leave off
-his own will for any consideration about his daughters; and would have
-been only too proud to have had a son. After thinking, I gave up that
-idea; but my heart went at a gallop for hours after, and I should not
-have been surprised to hear that anything had happened, or was going to
-happen. Really, anything real and actual, however bad, would have been a
-relief from the mystery which preyed upon me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_150" id="page_150"></a>{150}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Papa is coming to fetch me, to-morrow,” said Sara Cresswell, in rather
-a discontented tone. “There is to be some ridiculous ball, or something.
-Can anybody imagine anything so absurd as asking people to a ball when
-you want to show you’re sorry to part with them? and papa might have
-known, if he had ever taken the trouble to think, that I have no
-dress&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, child! how many hundreds a year do you give your dressmaker?”
-said I.</p>
-
-<p>“That has nothing whatever to do with it, godmamma,” said Sara, making a
-slightly confused pause; and then resuming, with a defiant look into my
-face,&mdash;“if I might give one hundred a year away out of all papa has got,
-I could live upon one dress in a year; but what is the use of shillings
-and sixpences to beggars, or of saving up a few pounds additional to
-papa? I don’t call that any economy. If we were living according to
-nature, it would be quite different; then I should want no ball-dresses.
-Besides,” continued the refractory creature, “I don’t want to go; and if
-papa insists on me going, why shouldn’t I get some pleasure out of it?
-Everything else will be just the same as usual, of course.&mdash;Godmamma,”
-exclaimed Sara suddenly, with a new thought, “will you ask papa anything
-about this business? it is not done with yet. He will come back, and all
-will have to be gone over again. Will you mention it to papa?”</p>
-
-<p>She had been thinking of it too,&mdash;she, thoughtless as she was, found
-something in it not of a kind to die away and be passed over. I could
-not mistake, nor pretend to mistake, what she meant; it was to be read
-in her very eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear, I have told you already that your godmamma can have nothing
-whatever to do with this young man,” said I, with a little irritation;
-“if she is out of sorts it is nobody’s business. Do you fancy she could
-keep up an acquaintance with an Italian countess for more than twenty
-years, and I know nothing of it? Nonsense! Some fancy, or some old
-recollections, or something, had an effect upon her just at the moment.
-Speak to your father! Why, you told me he knew nothing about the
-Countess Sermoneta. Shall I ask him to feel your godmamma’s pulse and
-prescribe for her? or do you suppose, even if he were fit for that, your
-godmamma would allow it, without feeling herself ill? Your papa is
-highly respectable, and has always been much trusted by the family. But
-there are things with which one’s solicitor has nothing whatever to do;
-there are things which belong to one’s self, and to nobody else in the
-world.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_151" id="page_151"></a>{151}</span></p>
-
-<p>Poor little Sara! I did not mean to mortify the child! She grew crimson
-with pride and annoyance. I had no intention of reminding her that she
-was only the attorney’s daughter; but she reminded herself of it on the
-instant, with all the pride of a duchess. She did not say a syllable,
-the little proud creature; but turned away with such an air, her cheek
-burning, her eyes flashing, her little foot spurning the ground. She
-went off with a great sweep of her full skirts, disturbing the air to
-such an extent that I quite felt the breeze on my cheek. Perhaps it was
-just as well. Of course there was a difference between the Mortimers and
-the Cresswells. Because we did not stand on our dignity, people were so
-ready to forget what they owed to us. It was just as well the spoiled
-child could learn, for once in her life, that it was all of grace and
-favour that she was made so much of at the Park.</p>
-
-<p>I made quite sure that she went to her own room directly, to see after
-the packing of her things, with some thoughts of starting for home at
-once, without even waiting for her father. However, when she began to
-talk to her little maid Alice, about that ball-dress, I daresay the
-other matter went out of the child’s head. The next that I saw of her
-was when she made a rush downstairs to ask me for postage stamps, with a
-letter in her hand, all closed ready to go off. She was still pouting
-and ill-tempered; but she contrived to show me the address of the
-letter. Alas, poor dear Bob Cresswell! it was to the Chester milliner,
-the best one we had, no doubt ordering a dress for the ball. Yet I do
-believe, for all that, the child could really have done what she said. I
-believe, if some great misfortune had happened, and her father had lost
-all his money, Sara’s first impulse would have been to clap her hands
-and cry, “Now everybody shall see!” Of course it is very dreadful to
-lose one’s fortune and become poor and have to work. But I wonder are
-there no other spoiled creatures in the world like Sara, who have their
-own ideas about such calamities, and think they would be the most famous
-fun in the world? Too much of anything makes a revulsion in the mind.
-Such over-indulged, capricious, spoiled children have often hardy bold
-spirits, and would be thankful for some real, not sham necessity. But,
-in the meantime, she had not the slightest idea of doing without her
-ball-dress.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_152" id="page_152"></a>{152}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XI-c" id="Chapter_XI-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">M</span><span class="smcap">R. CRESSWELL</span> came next day accordingly. I confess the very sight of him
-was a sort of solace to me in my perplexities; that solid steady man,
-with his sharp keen eyes and looks, as if he knew everything going on
-round about him. To be sure, being a lawyer, he must have pretended to
-know a great many more things than he could have any insight into.
-Still, when one is in great doubt, and cannot tell where to turn, the
-sight of one of these precise men, with a vast knowledge about other
-people, and no affairs of their own of any consequence, is a kind of
-relief to one. Such men can throw light on quantities of things quite
-out of their way. I could not help saying to myself, though I had
-snubbed Sara for saying it, that he might, perhaps, have helped to clear
-up this mystery. But, of course, he was always a last resort if anything
-more happened. They were to have dinner before they went away, and Mr.
-Cresswell reached the Park by noon; so there was plenty of time to tell
-him anything. He came into the drawing-room rubbing his hands. Sarah had
-just come down-stairs and taken her seat. She was looking just as she
-always did, no tremble in her head to speak of, her attention quite
-taken up with her wools, attending to what was said, but with no anxiety
-about it. When Mr. Cresswell came in her face changed a little; she
-looked as if all at once she had thought of something, and gave me a
-sign, which I knew meant he was to come to her. I brought him directly,
-not without a great deal of curiosity. It was a warm day for the season;
-and just immediately before the fire, where the good man had to sit to
-listen, was not just the most comfortable position in the world. He even
-contrived to make a kind of appeal to me. Couldn’t I hear what it was,
-and tell him afterwards? I took no notice; I confess it was rather
-agreeable to me than otherwise,&mdash;to set him down there to get roasted
-before the fire.</p>
-
-<p>“I want to know what you have done about Richard Mortimer,” said Sarah
-in her shrill whisper; “there has been no advertisement in the Times nor
-the Chester papers. I hope you are not losing time; what have you
-done?”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_153" id="page_153"></a>{153}</span></p>
-
-<p>It struck me that Mr. Cresswell looked just a little abashed and put out
-by this question; but it might be the fire. He put up his hand to
-shelter his face, and hitched round his chair; then shrugged his
-shoulders a little, insinuating that she was making far too much of it.
-“My dear lady, advertisements are the last resort. I hope to do without
-any such troublesome process,” said Mr. Cresswell. “All the Mortimers in
-England will rouse up at the sight of an advertisement. I should prefer
-to take a little time. Information is always to be obtained privately
-when one has any clue at all.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then have you obtained any private information?” said Sarah, in rather
-a sharp tone. She had no inclination to let him slide away till she was
-quite satisfied.</p>
-
-<p>“Such things take their time,” said Mr. Cresswell, devoting all his
-attention to screening himself from the fire. “How you ladies can bear
-cooking yourselves up so, on this mild day, I cannot understand! I can
-hear you perfectly, Miss Mortimer, thank you; your voice is as distinct
-as it always was, though, unfortunately not the same tone. What a voice
-your sister used to have, to be sure!&mdash;went through people’s hearts like
-a bell.”</p>
-
-<p>This was addressed to me, in the idea of being able to wriggle out of
-the conversation altogether. It is my conviction he had not taken a
-single step in the matter of Richard Mortimer; but if he thought he
-could shake off Sarah’s inquiries so, he deceived himself. She never
-was, all her life, to be turned from her own way.</p>
-
-<p>“It is sometime now since we instructed you on this subject,” said
-Sarah. “If you have not made any discovery, at least you can tell us
-what you are doing. Milly, there, like a fool, does not care. She talks
-of Providence dropping us an heir at our door,&mdash;a foundling, I suppose,
-with its name on a paper pinned to its frock,” said Sarah, growing
-rather excited, and turning an angry look on me.</p>
-
-<p>To my astonishment Mr. Cresswell also looked at me; his was a guilty,
-conscious, inquiring look. What strange creatures we all are! This
-shrewd lawyer, far from thinking that Sarah’s words referred to any
-mysterious trouble or derangement in her own mind, took them up, knowing
-his own thoughts, with all the quickness of guilt, to refer to Sara! He
-thought we had probably had a quarrel about leaving her our heiress;
-that I had stood up for her, and Sarah had opposed it. So he turned his
-eyes to me to see if I would make any private telegraphic communication
-to him of the state of affairs. And<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_154" id="page_154"></a>{154}</span> when he found nothing but surprise
-in my eyes, turned back a little disappointed, but quite cool and ready
-to stand to his arms, though he had failed of this mark.</p>
-
-<p>“The truth is, there is nothing so easy as finding an heir. I’ll ensure
-you to hunt him up from the backwoods, or China, or anywhere in the
-world. There’s a fate connected with heirs,” said Mr. Cresswell,
-pleasantly, “whether one wants them or not they turn up with all their
-certificates in their pocket-books! Ah! they’re a long-lived,
-sharp-sighted race; they’re sure to hear somehow when they’re wanted.
-Don’t be afraid&mdash;we’ll find him, sure enough. If you had made up your
-minds to disown him, and shut him out, he’d turn up all the same.”</p>
-
-<p>“Milly,” cried Sarah suddenly, with her little shriek of passion, all so
-unexpected and uncalled for that I fairly jumped from the table I was
-standing at, and had nearly overturned her screen on the top of her,
-“what do you mean by that fixed look at me? How dare you look so at me?
-Did I speak of disowning any one? Richard Mortimer, when he’s found,
-shall have the park that moment, if I lived a dozen years after it.
-Nobody shall venture, so long as I live, to cast suspicious looks at
-me!”</p>
-
-<p>I declare, freely, I was unconscious of looking at her as though I had
-been a hundred miles away at the moment! I stood perfectly still, gaping
-with consternation and amazement. Such an unwarranted, unexpected
-accusation, fairly took away my breath. Mr. Cresswell, accustomed to
-observe people, was startled, and woke up from those dreams of his own
-which clouded his eyesight in this particular case. He looked at her
-keenly for a moment, then, turned with a rapid question in his eyes to
-me; he seemed to feel in a moment there was somehow some strange new
-element in the matter. But, of course, I had no answer to make to him,
-either with voice or eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“I was not looking at you at all, Sarah,” faltered I. “I was not looking
-at anything in particular. Nobody is going to be disowned, that I know
-of. Nobody is seeking our property, that I know of,” I said again
-involuntarily, my eye turning with a kind of stupid consciousness, the
-very last feeling in the world which I wished or intended to show, upon
-Mr. Cresswell, who was quite watching my looks to see what this little
-episode meant.</p>
-
-<p>He coloured up in a moment. He stumbled up from his chair, looking very
-much confused. He dared not pretend to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_155" id="page_155"></a>{155}</span> know what I meant, nor show
-himself conscious, even that I had looked at him. He went across the
-room to the window, looked out, and came back again. It was odd to see
-such a man, accustomed and trained to conceal his sentiments, so
-betrayed into showing them. When he sat down again he turned his face to
-the fire, and almost his back to me. Matters had changed. It appeared I
-was not such a safe confidante as he had supposed.</p>
-
-<p>“You shall very soon be satisfied about Mr. Richard Mortimer,” he said,
-looking into the fire. “Don’t be afraid; I am on the scent; you may
-trust it to me. But, really, I don’t wonder to see Miss Milly take it
-very reasonably. What do you want with heirs yet? If I had any thoughts
-of that kind, I should put all my powers in motion to get that little
-kitten of mine married. If I leave her by herself she will throw away my
-poor dear beautiful dividends in handfuls. But, somehow, the idea
-doesn’t oppress me; and, of course, I am older than any lady in
-existence can be supposed to be. I am&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Hold your tongue, Cresswell,” cried Sarah crossly. “I daresay we know
-what each other’s ages are. Attend to business, please. I want Richard
-Mortimer found, I tell you. You can tell him his cousin Sarah wants him.
-He will come, however far off he may be, when he hears that. You can put
-it in the papers, if you please.”</p>
-
-<p>Saying this Sarah gave her muslin scarf a little twitch over her elbow,
-and held up her head with a strange little vain self-satisfied movement.
-Oh, how Mr. Cresswell did look at her! how he chuckled in his secret
-soul! From what I had seen once before I understood perfectly well what
-he meant. He had once taken the liberty to fall in love with Sarah
-Mortimer himself; and now to see the old faded beauty putting on one of
-her old airs, and reckoning on the fidelity of a man who, no doubt&mdash;it
-was to be hoped, or what was to become of our search for heirs?&mdash;had
-married and forgotten all about her years ago&mdash;tickled him beyond
-measure. He felt himself quite revenged when he saw her
-self-complacence. He ventured to chuckle at it secretly. I should have
-liked, above all things, to box his ears.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! to be sure; I’ll use all possible means immediately. It’s to be
-hoped he has ten children,” said Mr. Cresswell, with a very quiet
-private laugh. Sarah did not observe that he was laughing at her. I
-believe such an idea could never have entered her head. She began, with
-an habitual motion she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_156" id="page_156"></a>{156}</span> had got whenever she left off knitting, to rub
-her fingers and stoop to the fire.</p>
-
-<p>“And I insist you should come and report to us what you are doing,” said
-Sarah; “and never mind Milly; see me. It is I who am interested. Milly,
-as I tell you, thinks Providence will drop her an heir at the door.”</p>
-
-<p>What could she mean by these spiteful sneering suggestions? I had
-thought no more of heirs for many a day&mdash;never since I got involved in
-this bewildering business, which I could see no way through. Her sudden
-attack sent a little thrill of terror through me. <i>I</i> was casting
-suspicious looks at her; an heir was to be dropped at our door; somebody
-was plotting against her fortune and honour. Good heavens! what could it
-mean but one thing? Mad people are always watched, pursued, persecuted,
-thwarted. I was cast from one guess to another, as if from wave to wave
-of a sea. I came back to that idea again; and trembled in spite of
-myself to think of little Sara and her father leaving us, and of being
-left alone to watch the insane haze spreading over her mind. It was sure
-to spread if it was there.</p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XII-c" id="Chapter_XII-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">WILL</span> not undertake to say that we were a particularly sociable party
-at dinner that day. The stranger, Mr. Cresswell, who might have been
-supposed likely to give us a little news, and refresh us with the air of
-out of doors, was constrained and uncomfortable with the idea of having
-been found out. I am sure it was the last idea in the world which I
-wanted to impress upon him. But still, in spite of myself, I had
-betrayed it. Then Sara, without the faintest idea of her father’s
-uneasiness, had a strong remembrance of my unlucky<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_157" id="page_157"></a>{157}</span> words on the
-previous day, and was very high and stately, by way of proving to me
-that an attorney’s daughter could be quite as proud as a Mortimer&mdash;as if
-I ever doubted it!&mdash;and a great deal prouder. For really, when one knows
-exactly what one’s position is, and that nobody can change it, one does
-not stand upon one’s defence for every unwary word. However, so it was
-that we were all a little constrained, and I felt as one generally feels
-after a pretty long visit, even from a dear friend, that to be alone and
-have the house to one’s self will just at first be a luxury in its way.</p>
-
-<p>Not having any free and comfortable subject to talk of, we naturally
-fell to books, though Mr. Cresswell, I believe, never opened one. He
-wanted to know if Sara had been reading novels all day long, and
-immediately Sara turned to me to ask whether she might have one home
-with her which she had begun to read. Then there burst on my mind an
-innocent way of putting a question to Mr. Cresswell which I had been
-very anxious to ask without seeing any way to do it.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t think you will care for it when you do read it Sara; it is all
-about a poor boy who gets persuaded not to marry, and breaks the poor
-creature’s heart who is engaged to him, because there has been madness
-in the family. High principle, you know. I am not quite so sure in my
-own mind that I don’t think him a humbug; but I suppose it’s all very
-grand and splendid to you young people. Young persons should be trained
-very closely in their own family history if that is to be the way of it.
-I hope there never was a Cresswell touched in his brain, or, Sara, it
-would be a bad prospect for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“If you suppose I should think it a bad prospect to do as Gilbert did,
-you are very wrong, godmamma,” cried Sara. “Why shouldn’t he have been
-quite as happy one way as the other? Do you suppose people must be
-<i>married</i> to be happy? it is dreadful to hear such a thing from you!”</p>
-
-<p>“Well, to be sure, so it would be,” said I, “if I had said it. I am not
-unhappy that I know of, nor happy either. Oh, you little velvet kitten,
-how do you know how people get through life? One goes jog-jog, and does
-not stop to find out how one feels. But I’d rather&mdash;though I daresay
-it’s very bad philosophy&mdash;have creatures like you do things innocently,
-without being too particular about the results. Besides, I think
-Cheshire air is good steady air for the mind,&mdash;not exciting, you know. I
-don’t think we’ve many mad people in our county, eh, Mr. Cresswell?&mdash;Did
-you ever hear of a crazy Mortimer?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell looked up at me a little curiously&mdash;which, to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_158" id="page_158"></a>{158}</span> be sure,
-not having any command over my face, or habit of concealing what I
-thought, made me look foolish. Sarah lifted her eyes, too, with a kind
-of smile which alarmed me&mdash;a smile of ridicule and superior knowledge.
-Perhaps I had exposed my fears to both of them by that question. I
-shrank away from it immediately, frightened at my own rashness. But Mr.
-Cresswell would not let me off.</p>
-
-<p>“I have always heard that your grand-uncle Lewis was very peculiar,”
-said Mr. Cresswell,&mdash;“he that your cousin is descended from. Let us hope
-it doesn’t run in Mr. Richard’s family. I suppose there’s no reason to
-imagine that such a motive would prevent <i>him</i> from marrying?” he
-continued, rather spitefully. “And it was no wonder if Lewis Mortimer
-was a little queer. What could you expect? he was the <i>second son</i>! an
-unprecedented accident. The wonder is that something did not happen in
-consequence. Oh yes, he was <i>soft</i> a little, was your grand-uncle Lewis;
-but most likely it descended to him from his mother’s side of the
-house.”</p>
-
-<p>“And my father was named after him!” cried I, with a certain dismay.</p>
-
-<p>They all laughed, even Sarah. <i>She</i> kept her eyes on me as if searching
-through me to find out what I meant. She was puzzled a little, I could
-see. She saw it was not a mere idle question, and wanted to know the
-meaning. She was not conscious, thank heaven! and people are dismally
-conscious, as I have heard, when their brain is going. This was a little
-comfort to me under the unexpected answer I had got, for I certainly
-never heard of a crazy Mortimer all my life.</p>
-
-<p>“If qualities descended by names, my little kitten would be in luck,”
-said Mr. Cresswell. “But here is a new lot of officers coming, Miss
-Milly; what would you recommend a poor man to do?”</p>
-
-<p>“Papa!” cried Sara, with blazing indignation, “what does any one suppose
-the officers are to me? You say so to make my own godmamma despise me,
-though you know it isn’t true! I can bear anything that is true. That is
-why we always quarrel, papa and I. He does not mind what stories he
-tells, and thinks it good fun. I am not a flirt, nor never was&mdash;never,
-even when I was too young to know any better. No, godmamma, no more than
-you are!&mdash;nobody dares say it of me.”</p>
-
-<p>We were just rising from table when she made this defence of herself. It
-was not quite true. I know she tormented that poor boy Wilde as if he
-had been a mouse, the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_159" id="page_159"></a>{159}</span> cruel creature; and I am perfectly convinced that
-she was much disappointed Mr. Luigi did not come to the Park, because
-she had precisely the same intentions with regard to him. I must allow,
-though I was very fond of Sara, that, professing to be mighty scornful
-and sceptical as to hearts breaking, she loved to try when she had it in
-her power. I daresay she was not conscious of her wicked arts, she used
-them by instinct; but it came to much the same thing in the end.</p>
-
-<p>I went out of the room with her, under pretence of seeing that her boxes
-were nicely packed; I did not say anything about it, whether I thought
-her a flirt or not, and she quieted down immediately, with a perception
-that I had something to say. I drew her into the great window of the
-hall, when Sarah, and immediately after her Mr. Cresswell,&mdash;for, of
-course, to him our early dinner only served as lunch, and no man would
-dream of sitting over his wine at three o’clock in the afternoon,
-especially in a lady’s house,&mdash;had passed into the drawing-room. It was
-a great round bay-window, at one end of the hall, where our footmen used
-to lounge in my father’s time, when we kept footmen. It had our
-escutcheon in it, in painted glass, and the lower panes were obscured, I
-cannot tell why, unless because it made them look ugly. The hall was
-covered with matting, and the fire had been lighted that day, but must
-have gone out, it felt so cold.</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, I wish to say to you&mdash;not that I don’t trust your discretion, my
-dear child;” said I, “but you might not think I cared&mdash;don’t say
-anything about your godmamma, or about this Mr. Luiggi, dear&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>I was quite prepared to see her resent this caution, but I was not
-prepared for the burst of saucy laughter with which the foolish little
-girl replied to me.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh dear, godmamma, don’t be so comical! it isn’t Luiggi, it’s Luidgi,
-that’s how it sounds,” cried Sara. “To think of any one murdering the
-beautiful Italian so! Don’t you really think it’s a beautiful name?”</p>
-
-<p>“I freely confess I never could see any beauty in Italian, nor any other
-outlandish tongue,” said I. “Luidgi, be it, if that’s better. I can’t
-see how it makes one morsel of difference; but you will remember what I
-say?”</p>
-
-<p>“Luigi simply means Lewis; and how should you be pleased to hear Lewis
-mispronounced? You said it was your father’s name, godmamma,” said the
-incorrigible child.</p>
-
-<p>I turned away, shaking my head. It was no use saying anything more; most
-likely she would pay attention to what I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_160" id="page_160"></a>{160}</span> said, though she was so
-aggravating; oh, but she was contrairy. Never man spoke a truer word.
-Nevertheless, as she stood there in her velvet jacket, with her
-close-cropped pretty curls, and her eyes sparkling with laughter, I
-could not help admiring her myself. I don’t mind saying I am very
-inconsistent. A little while before, I had been thinking it would be
-rather pleasant to have the house quiet and to ourselves. Now, I could
-not help thinking what a gap it would leave when she was gone. Then the
-child, who at home was led into every kind of amusement (to be sure
-<i>procurable in Cheshire</i>, must be added to this), had been so contented,
-after all, to live with two old women, whom nobody came to see, except
-now and then in a morning call; and though she was so wicked, and
-provoking, and careless, she was at the same time so good and clever
-(when she pleased) and captivating. One could have put her in the
-corner, and kissed her the next moment. As she stood there in the light
-of the great window, I, who had left her, shaking my head, and
-reflecting how contrairy she was, went back to kiss her, though I gave
-her a little shake as well. That is how one always feels to these
-creatures, half-and-half; ready to punish them and to pet them all at
-once.</p>
-
-<p>However, after a while (though it was no easy matter getting Sara’s
-trunks on the carriage&mdash;I wonder Mr. Cresswell ventured on it, for his
-poor horse’s sake), they went away; and feeling just a little dull after
-they were gone, and as it was just that good-for-nothing time, which is
-the worst of an early dinner, the interval between dinner and tea, I set
-out for a walk down to the village. It was Sarah’s day for her drive,
-and she passed me on the road, and kissed her hand to me out of the
-carriage window. No blinds down now; the horses going at their steady
-pace, rather slowly than otherwise, wheeling along through the soft
-hedgerows which began to have some buds on them. I wonder what Jacob
-thought of it; I wonder what Williams at the lodge had to say on the
-subject. Such a strange unreasonable change!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_161" id="page_161"></a>{161}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XIII-c" id="Chapter_XIII-c"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">CALLED</span> at a good many houses in the village. I am thankful to say I
-have rarely found myself unwelcome, to the best sort of people at least.
-Most of us have known each other so long, and have such a long stretch
-of memory to go back upon together, that we belong to each other in a
-way. As for the scapegraces, they are a little frightened of me, I
-confess. They say, Miss Milly comes a-worriting, when I speak my mind to
-them. I can’t say the men reverence me, nor the women bless my
-influence, as I read they do with some ladies in some of Miss Kate
-Roberts’ books. But we are good friends on the whole. When the men have
-been drinking, and spent all their wages, or saucy, and put out of their
-place, then they try their best to deceive me, to be sure; but I know
-all their little contrivances pretty well by this time. They don’t mean
-much harm after all, only to persuade one that things are not so bad as
-they look.</p>
-
-<p>After I had given a glance into the shop where I saw Mr. Luigi’s fat
-servant,&mdash;I only saw him once, but yet the place seemed full of that
-fat, funny, good-humoured, outlandish figure, with his bows and smiles,
-and loquacious foreign speech, that poor Mrs. Taylor commiserated so
-deeply&mdash;I stepped across to the rectory to make a call there. The poor
-young shopkeeper, who had a night-class for the men and grown lads, and
-was really an intelligent, well-meaning young man, had been confiding
-his troubles to me. They did not care a bit about learning; they did not
-even want to read. When they did read it was the most foolish books!
-Poor young Taylor’s heart was breaking over their stupidity. And then,
-to keep a shop, even a bookshop, hurt his “feelings,” poor lad. He had
-been brought up for a teacher’s profession, he said&mdash;he even had some
-experience in “tuition.” He had thought he could make a home for his
-mother and his little sister; and now Dr. Appleby was grumbling that he
-did not succeed, and thought it his own fault! Poor young fellow! to be
-sure, he should have gone stolidly through with it, and had no business
-to have any “feelings.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_162" id="page_162"></a>{162}</span> But, you see, people will be foolish in every
-condition of life.</p>
-
-<p>So I stepped across the road to call on Miss Kate, thinking of him all
-the way; thinking of him and that unknown young Italian, only once seen,
-whom the apparition of the fat servant in Taylor’s shop somehow
-connected with the young shopkeeper. How Mr. Luigi had forced himself
-into all my thoughts! and yet the only one fact I knew about him was,
-that he was looking for an apocryphal lady whom nobody ever heard of!
-Should I have thought no more about him but for Sarah’s mysterious
-agitation? I really cannot tell. Again and again his voice came back to
-me, independent of Sarah. Whose voice was it? Where had he got that
-hereditary tone?</p>
-
-<p>Miss Kate was in, for a great wonder. She was wonderfully active in the
-parish. She was far more the rector, except in the pulpit, than good Dr.
-Roberts was. I am sure he was very fortunate to have such an active
-sister. I don’t think anything ever happened, within a space of three or
-four miles round the village, that Miss Kate was not at the bottom of
-it. Of course I expected to hear everything over again that Dr. Roberts
-had told us about Mr. Luigi. But, so long as Sarah was not present, I
-could take that quite easily. Indeed, I wished so much to know more of
-this stranger, somehow, that I really felt I should be glad to hear all
-that they had to say.</p>
-
-<p>“I was indeed very much interested in the young man,” said Miss Kate,
-starting the subject almost immediately, as I expected. “I think great
-efforts should be made to lay hold of every one that comes out of his
-poor benighted country. I said so to the Doctor; but the Doctor’s views,
-you know, are <i>very</i> charitable. Mr. Hubert, however, quite agreed with
-me. I asked him to come back when he came to this part of the country
-again, and said I should be very glad to have some <i>serious</i>
-conversation with him. He stared, but he was very polite; only, poor
-young man, his thoughts are all upon this lady. I have no doubt he
-thought it was that business I wanted to talk to him about.”</p>
-
-<p>“But I suppose, like Dr. Roberts, you can throw no light upon her; who
-she is, or where she is?” said I. “It is strange he should seem so
-positive she was here, and yet nobody remembers her. For my own part, if
-I had once heard it, I am sure I should never have forgotten that name.
-I have a wonderful memory for names.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very strange no doubt,” said Miss Kate, with a little cough. “And then,
-that man of his. Alas, what an imprisoned<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_163" id="page_163"></a>{163}</span> soul! To think he should be
-in the very midst of light and faithful preaching, and yet not be able
-to derive any benefit from it! I never regretted more deeply not having
-kept up my own Italian studies. And poor Mr. Hubert&mdash;but you would hear
-all about that; the Doctor does so delight in an amusing story. They
-could not understand each other in the very least, you know. Ah, what a
-matter it would be to get hold of that poor Domenico&mdash;that’s his name.
-Why, he might be quite an apostle among his countrymen, when he got
-back. But nothing can be done till he can be taught English, or some
-agency can be found out in Italian. I can’t tell you how much interest I
-feel in these poor darkened creatures. And to think they should be in
-the midst of the light, and no possibility of bringing them under its
-influence! I don’t speak of the master, of course, who knows English
-very well; but I am not one that am a respecter of persons,&mdash;the servant
-is quite as much, if not more, interesting to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“If they stay long I daresay he’ll learn English,” I suggested modestly;
-“but it will be a sad pity if the poor gentleman has come so far to seek
-out this lady, and can’t find any trace of her. I promised him to do all
-I could to find out for him; but nobody seems ever to have heard of her.
-It will be a thousand pities if he has all his trouble for no end.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, Miss Milly! let us hope he may acquire something else that will far
-more than repay him,” said Miss Kate; “disappointments are often great
-blessings in directing one’s mind away from worldly things. We were all
-very much interested in him, I assure you. Mr. Hubert promised to write
-to a friend of his in Chester to ask if he could give him any
-assistance. If it were only for the sake of that strange
-resemblance,&mdash;the Doctor would tell you, of course, the resemblance
-which struck both him and myself?”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” cried I; “did you find out anybody he was like? I only saw him in
-the dark, and could not make out his face; but his voice has haunted me
-ever since. I was sure I knew the voice.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder the Doctor did not mention it,” said Miss Kate, with a little
-importance. “The truth is, it struck us both a good deal; a resemblance
-to your family, Miss Milly.”</p>
-
-<p>I don’t know whether I was most disposed to sink down upon my chair or
-start up from it with a cry; I did neither, however.</p>
-
-<p>“To <i>my</i> family?” I gasped out.
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_164" id="page_164"></a>{164}</span>
-“Yes; it was very singular,” said Miss Kate; “I daresay, of course, it
-was only one of those accidental likenesses. I remember being once
-thought very like your sister. How strange you should think you knew his
-voice! You have some relations in Italy, perhaps?”</p>
-
-<p>“Not that I know of,” said I, feeling very faint. I cannot tell what I
-was afraid of; but I felt myself trembling and shaken; and I durst not
-get up and go out either, or Miss Kate would have had it all over the
-parish before night, that something had gone wrong at the Park.</p>
-
-<p>But I don’t remember another word she said. I kept my seat, and answered
-her till I thought I might reasonably be supposed to have stayed long
-enough. Then I left the rectory, my mind in the strangest agitation.
-That this stranger, who had driven Sarah half mad, should be like our
-family; what a bewildering, extraordinary thing to think of! But
-stranger still, at this moment, when I had just heard such a wonderful
-aggravation of my perplexity&mdash;that voice of his which had haunted me so
-long, and which I felt sure I could identify at once, if the person it
-once belonged to was named to me, vanished entirely from my mind as if
-by some conjuring trick. It was extraordinary&mdash;it looked almost
-supernatural. I could no more recall that tone, which I had recalled
-with perfect freshness and ease when I entered the rectory garden, than
-I could clear up the extraordinary puzzle thus gathering closer and
-closer round all my thoughts.</p>
-
-<p>In this state of mind I hurried home, feeling really as if there must be
-something supernatural in the whole business, and too much startled to
-ask any definite questions of myself. When I had reached the house, and
-was going upstairs, I met one of the maids coming down, who had been
-upon some errand into Sarah’s room. This careless girl had left&mdash;a thing
-never even seen when my sister happened to be out for her drives&mdash;the
-room-door open. Before I knew what I was doing, I had stepped inside. I
-can’t tell what I wanted&mdash;whether to speak with Sarah or to spy upon
-her, or to listen at her door. Carson and she were in the dressing-room,
-I could hear. And now I will tell you what I did. I don’t think I was
-responsible for my actions at that moment; but whether or not, this is
-what I did. I stepped forward stealthily, stooped down to the keyhole,
-and listened at the door!</p>
-
-<p>There! I have said it out. Nobody else knows it to this day. I, who
-called myself an honourable person, listened at my sister’s door. For
-the first five minutes I was so agitated<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_165" id="page_165"></a>{165}</span> by my strange position that,
-of course, I did not hear a word they said. But after a little I began
-to hear indistinctly that they were talking of some letter that had
-better be burned&mdash;that Carson was speaking in a kind of pleading tone,
-and Sarah very harsh and hard, her words easier to be distinguished in
-that hissing whisper of hers than if she had spoken in the clearest
-voice imaginable. I can’t say I was much the better for the
-conversation, till at last, just as I was going away, came this, which
-made my heart beat so loud that I thought it must be heard inside that
-closed mysterious door:</p>
-
-<p>“And to think they should have called him Lewis, too; though the English
-is a deal the prettiest. Ah, ma’am,” cried Carson, with a little stifled
-sob, “it showed love in the heart!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, for the Park,” said Sarah, in her whisper. I dared not stay a
-moment longer, for I heard them both advancing to the door. I fled to my
-own room, and dropped down there on my sofa stupified. My head ached as
-if it would burst. My heart thumped and beat as if it would leap out of
-my bosom Lewis! my father’s name&mdash;and, good heaven!&mdash;the voice! What did
-it&mdash;what could it mean?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_166" id="page_166"></a>{166}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="PART_IV" id="PART_IV"></a>PART IV.<br /><br />
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE.<br />
-<small>(<i>Continued.</i>)</small></h2>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_I-d" id="Chapter_I-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span><span class="smcap">HAT</span> a strange little quaint place Chester is! I thought I should never
-have been tired walking along those ramparts, looking over the soft
-green slopes, and up to the blue hills in the distance, and down here
-and there upon the grey old churches and the quiet busy little town; but
-at first we had our lodgings to look for, which was a much more serious
-matter. I had made up my mind from the very first not to expect to be
-called upon, nor to go into society; or rather I had set my face against
-any chance of it, knowing always that we could not do it on the little
-money we had. But now I found out that Harry was not content with this.
-He was very anxious to have better lodgings, where ladies could come to
-see me. I should say dearer lodgings, for better than Mrs. Saltoun’s we
-could not have had. He wanted me to have quite a drawing-room instead of
-our nice, cosy, old-fashioned parlour, which was good for everything;
-and then to think people might be asking us to dinner, and how many
-embarrassments and troubles we might meet with! For it is embarrassing
-to be asked out, and to be obliged to let the people suppose you are
-sulky, and ill-tempered, and <i>won’t</i> go; or else to invent excuses
-which, besides being sinful, are always sure to be found out; when the
-real reason is simply<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_167" id="page_167"></a>{167}</span> that one has not a dress, and cannot afford to
-get one just then. The other ladies in the regiment might wonder what
-sort of person I could be, and tell each other that poor young Langham
-had married some poor girl, and been very foolish. It was exactly
-true&mdash;so he had; and as I can’t say I had any idea that he could be
-ashamed of me, I took it all very quietly. So long as we were happy, and
-could afford to live in our own way, I did not mind; but now Harry had
-got discontented, somehow or other. He was quite in a fuss to think that
-I was not received as I ought to be, and a great many more things like
-that&mdash;perhaps somebody had said something to him, as if he were supposed
-to be ashamed of me&mdash;at all events he had changed his mind from our
-first plan; and though I felt quite convinced my way was the wisest, I
-had to change it as before. Anything was better than having him
-uncomfortable and discontented. I supported myself with Mrs. Saltoun’s
-opinion, and went with resignation to look at all those expensive
-lodgings.</p>
-
-<p>The people seemed all to guess that we belonged to the new regiment; and
-some of them were quite great ladies, and quite enlightened me as to
-what we should require. For most of the day I was in a perfect panic;
-every place seeming dearer than another. When we went into those
-expensive rooms I always found out something that it was quite
-impossible for me to tolerate (quite independent, of course, you know,
-of any question of price!) till Harry quite fretted at my
-fastidiousness. At last we did find a place <i>that suited me</i>. It was no
-great thing in point of situation. It was a first floor, a front and
-back drawing-room. I believe, candidly, that the back room was about as
-big as Mrs. Saltoun’s good substantial old dining-table, which we used
-to have in our sitting-room in Edinburgh; but then there were
-folding-doors; and the front drawing-room was decorated and ornamented
-to such a pitch that one was quite afraid to sit down in any of the
-chairs. When I heard what the rent was, I was charmed with the rooms.
-Harry could not understand my enthusiasm. I found it the handiest place
-in the world;&mdash;and then it showed such discrimination in the landlady to
-ask so moderate a rent. We fetched Lizzie and baby from the inn
-directly, and dismissed Harry to look at the town. And really, when we
-got a little settled, it was not so uncomfortable; though, to be sure,
-to give up the sizeable room for company (and they never came!), and to
-live in that little box behind was very foolish, as I always thought.
-However, when, I above and Lizzy below, we had investigated the house,
-and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_168" id="page_168"></a>{168}</span> when the landlady was made to comprehend, with difficulty, that our
-washing was done at home, and that her toleration of these processes was
-needful, and when her wonder and the first shock to her system conveyed
-in this piece of intelligence was over, things looked tolerably
-promising. The worst was, we had no view; no view whatever except the
-bit of garden plot before the house, filled with dusty evergreens, and
-the corner of a street which led to the railway station. The cabs and
-people, going to and from the trains, made the only variety in the
-prospect; and anybody will allow that was sadly different from windows
-which looked sidelong over the corner of Bruntsfield Links, upon the
-Castle, and the Crags, and Arthur’s Seat. However, what I had to think
-of, in the meantime, was how to live without getting into debt; for, of
-course, people like us, with just so much money coming in (and oh, how
-very, very little it was!), had neither any excuse nor any way of saving
-themselves if once they ventured into debt.</p>
-
-<p>Thus we got established in our new quarters; and many a long ramble I
-took with Harry along those strange superannuated walls.&mdash;To think how
-they once stood up desperate, in defence, round the brave little town!
-to think of the wild Welsh raging outside on that tranquil turf, where
-the races were now-a-days; to think of those secure streets down there,
-that lengthened themselves out presumptuously beyond the ramparts, and
-even cut passages through them, once cowering in alarm below their
-shadow! The place quite captivated me; and then the streets themselves,
-the strange dark covered pathways, steps up from the street, with the
-shops lurking in their shadow! like some of the German towns, Harry told
-me. Looking into them from the street, and seeing the stream of
-passengers coming and going, through the openings and heavy wooden beams
-of the railing; or looking out of one of those openings upon a kind of
-street-scenes and life that had nothing in the world to do with the
-strange old-world arcade, from which one looked out as from a balcony,
-was as good as reading a book about ancient times. It was not like my
-dear Edinburgh, to be sure, but it was very captivating; and Harry and I
-enjoyed exploring together. It was all new and fresh to us&mdash;and it was
-spring; and when you have nothing to trouble you much, it is delightful
-to see new places, and get new pictures into the mind. Chester was quite
-as novel, and fresh, and captivating, though it was only in our own
-country, as that German Munich which Harry told me of&mdash;Harry had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_169" id="page_169"></a>{169}</span> been a
-great traveller before he joined, while his father was so long
-ill&mdash;could have been.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie, however, was not nearly so much at her ease as I was. When she
-felt herself laughed at, and looked at, and misunderstood, Lizzie fell
-back into her chronic state of awkwardness. Her national pride was
-driven to enthusiasm by her contact with “thae English.” Lizzie
-entertained a steady disbelief that the tongue in which she heard
-everybody speak&mdash;which was far enough from being a refined one,
-however,&mdash;was their native and natural speech. “They were a’ speaking
-grand for a purpose o’ their ain, to make folk believe they were lords
-and leddies,” Lizzie said; and with a still higher pitch of indignation,
-“Mem, <i>you</i> aye understood me, though you’re an English leddy; and think
-o’ the like o’ them setting up no’ to understand what <i>your</i> lass means
-when she’s speaking! I dinna understand <i>them</i>, I’m sure,&mdash;no half a
-dozen words. To hear that clippit English, and the sharp tongues they
-have, deaves me. The very weans in the street they’ve nae innocence in
-them. They’re a’ making a fashion of speaking as fine as you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind, Lizzie; you’ll soon get accustomed to them, and make
-friends,” said I, with an attempt at consolation.</p>
-
-<p>“Friends! I never had anybody belonging to me but a faither,” said
-Lizzie, who understood relations to be signified by that word: “but I’m
-no heeding now; and I’ll soon learn to nip the ends off the words like
-the rest o’ them. There’s a grand green for drying, that Mrs.
-Goldsworthy calls the back ga’den; and, if you’ll no’ be angry, I can do
-the ironing grand mysel’.”</p>
-
-<p>“You! but I dare not trust you, Lizzie,” said I, shaking my head. “Mr.
-Langham would find it out&mdash;I mean he would find me out&mdash;if they were not
-quite so well done; and you don’t consider what quantities of things you
-will have to do&mdash;to keep the drawing-room nice, and get tea and
-breakfast, and wash, and I don’t know what; and yet always to be tidy,
-and keep baby all day long. You don’t know what you have on your hands
-already, you unlucky girl.”</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, I’m glad!” cried Lizzie, clapping her hands together with fervour;
-and her brown eyes sparkled, and her uncouth figure grew steady with the
-delight of conscious energy and power. If she had been eighteen she
-would not have been so simple-minded. Never anybody was so fortunate as
-I had been in my little maid.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_170" id="page_170"></a>{170}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_II-d" id="Chapter_II-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">V</span><span class="smcap">ERY</span> soon we began to get interested in the people round about us; for
-we were not here, as we had been in Mrs. Saltoun’s little house, the
-only strangers. By means of Lizzie, who was much annoyed at the
-discovery, I found out that the house was quite full of lodgers. On the
-ground floor there was a foreign gentleman and his servant. The
-gentleman was absent at first; but the man, a very fat,
-good-humoured-looking fellow, who adopted us all into his friendship
-immediately, and expanded into smiles through the railings of the stair
-when any of us went up or down, was in full possession. The way that
-Lizzie avoided this smiling ogre, and the way in which he appreciated
-her panic, and was amused by it, and conciliated and coaxed her, was the
-most amusing thing I ever saw. And the way he opened the door for me,
-and took off his hat, and laid his hand on his heart and bowed! The good
-fellow quite kept us in amusement. When baby, who was getting on
-famously and noticing everything, crowed at him, in spite of his great
-beard, as children <i>will</i> do to men (it is very odd; but babies <i>do</i>
-take to strange men sooner than to strange women, I believe), the fat
-foreigner burst into great shouts of delighted laughter, and snapped his
-fat fingers, and made the funniest grimaces to please the child. None of
-us could speak a single word of his language; we did not even know at
-first what countryman he was; but we all got to have the most friendly,
-kind feeling for the stranger,&mdash;all except Lizzie, who stumbled up and
-flew downstairs in her anxiety to avoid his eyes. One bad habit he
-certainly had; he smoked perpetually. He smoked cigars&mdash;shocking bad
-ones, Harry said: he did not even put them down when he sprang out of
-his parlour to open the door for me; but only withdrew the one he was
-smoking from his full red lips, and held it somehow concealed in his
-hand. As he was constantly about in the house, or lingering close at
-hand with his great-coat buttoned on round his throat like a cloak, and
-the empty sleeves waving from his shoulders, stamping his feet on the
-ground, and whistling like a bird, this<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_171" id="page_171"></a>{171}</span> smell of bad cigars was
-perpetually about the house. Poor Mrs. Goldsworthy went up and down with
-the most grieved look upon her face. If any one made the least sign of
-having smelt anything disagreeable, she held up her hands in the most
-imploring way, and said, “What can a poor body do? He’s the obligingest
-creatur as ever was! and he don’t know a word of Christian language; and
-the gentleman&mdash;which is a <i>real</i> gentleman, and none o’ your
-make-believes&mdash;as good as left him in my charge; and, bless you, if he
-will smoke them cigars, and don’t understand a word a body says to him,
-what am I to do?” Indeed, for my own part, I had not only a great
-sympathy for him, but I could not help liking the fat fellow; and after
-a few days it was astonishing how we got used to the cigars.</p>
-
-<p>Then we ourselves occupied the two next floors. It was a strange little
-house; two rooms, back and front, piled on the top of each other four
-stories high; the top-story rooms were attics; and there was actually a
-lodger in each of those attics! Where Mrs. Goldsworthy and her daughter
-slept themselves was more than either Lizzie or I could make out. One of
-the attic lodgers was a thin, wistful man, whom I could not help looking
-at. He worked at something in his own room, and used to go out to dine.
-He was always very neat and clean; but very threadbare, and with a
-hungry look that went to one’s heart. Perhaps it was not want; maybe he
-was hungry for something else than mere money or nourishment; but
-sometimes I am sure I should not have been surprised to hear that he was
-starving too. Sometimes he looked at me or at baby in his wistful way,
-just as he vanished past us. I can’t say he ever smiled, even at little
-Harry; but still we drew his eyes when he chanced to meet us going out
-or in. I felt a great compassion for this poor solitary man. He was a
-man that might have been found starved, but never would have asked any
-charity; at least so I thought of him. I used to fancy him sitting in
-his solitary room upstairs by the window, and not by the fire,&mdash;for we
-never heard him poking any fire, and often saw him at the window,&mdash;and
-wondered how people could get so isolated, and chilled, and solitary;
-how they lived at all when they came to that condition&mdash;benumbed of all
-comfort, and still not frozen to death. How strange to think of keeping
-on living, years and years after one’s heart is dead! Harry said I was
-fanciful and continually made stories about people; but I did not tell
-Harry one half of my fancies; I don’t know what he would have done to me
-if I had; but I did so wish I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_172" id="page_172"></a>{172}</span> could have some chance of doing something
-to please that old man.</p>
-
-<p>One day Harry came downstairs with a smile on his face. “There is the
-most ludicrous scene going on below; come and look, Milly,” he said,
-drawing me to the stairs. I peeped down, and there, to be sure, I saw a
-reason for the sound of talking I had heard for a few minutes past.
-Lizzie was sitting on the stair, pondering deeply, with a perplexed
-face, over a large book spread out on the step above her. She was
-holding baby fast in one arm, and staving off his attempts to snatch at
-the leaves of the book. Leaning on the bannisters regarding her, and
-holding forth most volubly in an unknown tongue, was our fat friend; and
-between every two or three words he pointed to the book, making a sort
-of appeal to it. The contrast between the two&mdash;she silent and
-bewildered, confused by her efforts to restrain baby and comprehend the
-book&mdash;he, the vast full figure of him, so voluble, so good-humoured, so
-complacent, talking with his fat arms and fingers, his gestures, and
-every movement he made&mdash;talking with such confidence that language which
-nobody understood&mdash;was almost as irresistible to me as to Harry. We
-stood looking down at them, extremely amused and wondering. Then Lizzie,
-failing to comprehend the book, and hearing herself addressed so
-energetically, raised her round eyes, round with amazement, to the
-speaker’s face. The unknown tongue awed Lizzie; she contemplated him
-with speechless wonder and dismay; until at last, when the speaker made
-an evident close appeal to her, with a natural oratory which she could
-not mistake, unintelligible as was its meaning, her amazement burst
-forth in words. “Eh, man, what <i>div</i> ye mean?” cried Lizzie, in the
-extremity of her puzzled wonder. It was the climax of the scene. Though
-I thrust Harry back into the room instantly, that his laughter might not
-be heard, and smothered my own as best I could, the sound caught
-Lizzie’s watchful ears. In another moment she had reached the top of the
-stairs, breathless, with her charge in her arms. The puzzled look had
-not left Lizzie’s eyes, but she was deeply abashed and ashamed of
-herself. Harry’s laughter did not mend the matter, of course. She
-dropped baby in my arms, and twisted herself into all her old awkward
-contortions. I had to send her away and dismiss Harry into the other
-room. Poor Lizzie had never possessed sufficient courage to permit
-herself to be accosted by the dreadful foreigner before.</p>
-
-<p>However, we were not less amused when we heard what Mrs. Goldsworthy
-would have called “the rights of it.” Lizzie,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_173" id="page_173"></a>{173}</span> with great resolution,
-determined to have herself exculpated, came to me with her statement as
-soon as she was quite assured that “the Captain” was out of the way.</p>
-
-<p>“Eh! I came to think at last he was, maybe, a Hielander,” said Lizzie,
-“though they’re seldom that fat. And he laid down the book straight
-before in the stair. I kent what kind of book it was. It was the book
-wi’ a’ kind o’ words, and the meanings. But the meanings just were
-English, and the words were some other language. And I kind of guessed
-what he wanted, too. He wanted me to look in the book for the words he
-said, to tell me what he meant; but eh! how was I to ken where one word
-ended and another began? And he just hurried on and on; and the mair I
-listened, the mair I could not hear a single word, and looking at the
-book was just nonsense; and Master baby, he would try his hand; and oh,
-Mem, if you’re angry, I didna mean ony ill, and I’ll never do it again.”</p>
-
-<p>“Nonsense, Lizzie! I am not angry; but couldn’t you get on with the
-dictionary, and help the poor fellow? Were not you a very good scholar
-at school?”</p>
-
-<p>“No very,” said Lizzie, hanging her head in agonies of pleased but
-painful bashfulness, and unconsciously uttering her sentiments in
-language as puzzling to an English hearer as any uttered by our fat
-friend downstairs. “No very,” said Lizzie, anxiously truthful, yet not
-unwilling to do herself due credit;&mdash;“no <i>very</i>, but gey.”</p>
-
-<p>Here I fear my laugh rather shocked and affronted Lizzie. She stood very
-upright, and twisted nothing but her fingers. It would have been as
-impossible to persuade her that there was scarcely a person in Chester,
-but myself, who could have translated that exquisite monosyllable as to
-convince the foreigner that he was actually and positively
-incomprehensible in spite of the dictionary. But I will not attempt to
-interpret <i>gey</i>; it is untranslatable, as we are quite content so many
-French words should be. Even into Harry’s head, which should be capable
-of better things, I find it quite impossible to convey an idea of the
-expressiveness of this word. Lizzie and I, however, knew no other to put
-in its place.</p>
-
-<p>“But a <i>gey</i> good scholar might do a great deal for the poor fellow,”
-said I, when I had got over my laughter; “tell him the English names for
-things. Try if you can find out his name; but I forgot you were
-frightened for him, Lizzie.”</p>
-
-<p>“Aye, till I thought he might, maybe, be a Hielander,” said Lizzie.
-“Though the Hielanders dinna belang to us at<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_174" id="page_174"></a>{174}</span> hame, they might feel
-kindly in a strange place; and I’ve heard folk speaking Gaelic. But this
-is no like Gaelic, it’s a’ aws and os; and it’s awfu’ fast, just a
-rattle; a’ the words run in to one another. Forbye what harm could he do
-me? and the book was straight in my way on the stair; and it gangs to my
-heart to set my foot on a book. Ye might be trampin’ ower a bit o’ the
-Bible without kennin’; and then he’s very good-natured; and then,” said
-Lizzie, her eyes suddenly glowing up, “it would be grand to learn a
-language that nae ither body kens!”</p>
-
-<p>With the greatest cordiality I applauded this crowning argument, and did
-all I could to encourage her to persevere with the dictionary, and make
-herself interpreter; for I was not wise enough to think that this new
-study might possibly be too captivating for Lizzie, and lead her into
-neglect of her many and pressing duties. I only thought it was the most
-amusing mode of intercourse I ever heard of, and that it would be great
-fun to watch its progress. Besides, as she said herself, what harm could
-he do her? Poor Lizzie, who might have been in danger at an elder age in
-such a comical friendship, was invulnerable to all the dangers of
-flirtation at fourteen.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_175" id="page_175"></a>{175}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_III-d" id="Chapter_III-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">A</span><span class="smcap">BOUT</span> this time Harry’s object was attained, and some of the other
-ladies of the regiment called on me. I think they were a little
-surprised to find me just like other people, and not very much afraid of
-them; though I will confess that in my heart I was rather anxious,
-thinking whether Lizzie would have the discretion to put baby’s best
-frock on, in case they asked to see him. They did ask, of course; and
-when, after a few minutes, Lizzie came down, not only with his best
-frock on, but with the ribbon I had just got to trim my bonnet for
-spring, carefully tied round his waist for a sash, anybody may imagine
-what my feelings were! He looked very pretty in it certainly; but only
-fancy my good ribbon that I had grudged to buy, and could not do
-without! Ah! it is just possible that one’s nursery-maid may be too
-anxious to show off one’s baby to the best advantage. However, of
-course, I had to smile and make the best of it, and console myself with
-bursting forth upon Lizzie whenever they were gone.</p>
-
-<p>“How could you think of taking my ribbon! oh, Lizzie, Lizzie! and I am
-sure I cannot afford to buy another one,” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s a’ preened on,” said Lizzie mysteriously, “there’s no a single
-crumple in’t; and I made the bows just like what the leddies have them
-on their bonnets, and it’s no a bit the waur. But, Mem, the very weans
-in the street have a sash round their waist; and was I gaun to let on to
-strangers that our bairn hadna everything grand? And he sat still like a
-king till I fastened it a’ on. You see yoursel’ it has taken nae harm.”</p>
-
-<p>“But the pins!” cried I, in horror. “Were you not afraid, you dreadful
-girl, to make a pincushion of my boy?”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie was fast taking them out, conveying them to her mouth in the
-first place, and furtively withdrawing them again lest I should observe
-her. Her only answer was to point triumphantly to the child.</p>
-
-<p>“Would he laugh like that if I had jaggit him?” cried Lizzie. There was
-no contesting that proof; so I had to withdraw the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_176" id="page_176"></a>{176}</span> ribbon out of their
-joint hands immediately, and put it at once to its proper use. This,
-however, was neither the first nor the last of Lizzie’s impromptus.
-Those great red fingers of hers, all knuckles and corners as they were,
-had that light rapid touch which distinguishes every true <i>artiste</i>. She
-devised and appropriated for the decoration of the baby and “the credit
-of the house,” with the utmost boldness. It was not safe to leave
-anything which she could adapt to his use in her way.</p>
-
-<p>The next trial I had was an invitation to dinner, which came for us
-shortly after. I set my face very much against it. Long ago, when Harry
-used to tell me about their parties, I made up my mind it never would do
-for us to begin going to them, however much we might be asked. To be
-sure Harry might go. I was always glad Harry should go; but how was I,
-who had got no trousseau, like other young wives, when I was married,
-but just had one cheap silk dress, bought off Aunt Connor’s ten pounds,
-which I made up myself, to go out to dinner? I stood out long and
-obstinately; but I had to give in at last, just as I had about the maid
-and the lodgings. Harry would not go by himself. He would not decline
-the invitation; he said, with a very glum face, that we had better
-accept, and leave it to the chapter of accidents to find an excuse at
-the time. He did not understand how necessary it was for me to keep at
-home. He had been able always to go where he wanted, and keep up with
-the rest, and it fretted him dreadfully now to feel the bondage that our
-narrow means put us in. You understand he did not object to be
-economical in a general way, nor even, indeed, grumbled, the dear good
-fellow, at giving up many of his old luxuries; and, at first, he seemed
-to be delighted with having no society but our own. But now, when he
-began to feel annoyed that his wife was not in the same position as the
-others, and when I plied him with all the old arguments&mdash;that we dare
-not begin such a life or the expense would ruin us, Harry became very
-restive indeed. Somehow it seemed to gall and humble him; the idea that
-<i>his</i> wife could not go out for want of a dress! He could not put up
-with the thought; he jumped up from his chair as if something had stung
-him. “It is nonsense, Milly! folly; the merest shortsightedness; you
-don’t want half a dozen dresses to go to one dinner, and one dress can’t
-ruin us,” cried the unreasonable fellow. He would not understand me or
-listen to me. The notion wounded him quite to the heart. He looked so
-sulky and miserable that I could not bear to see it. I gave a great
-sigh, and gave in again. What could I do?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_177" id="page_177"></a>{177}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Well, Harry!” said I, “the foolishness is all on the other side, mind;
-but if I must give in I can’t help myself. I am only twenty, not twenty
-quite. I’ll go in white.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bravo! you could not do better than go in white!” cried Harry, “there’s
-a courageous woman! But why, may an ignoramus ask, should you not go in
-white, Milly darling! Isn’t it the dress of all others for a&mdash;well, an
-ugly little creature like you?”</p>
-
-<p>“I am not so sure about the ugly,” said I; “and now, please, get your
-hat and come out with me. I saw the fashions in a window at the other
-end of the street. Let us go and look at them, and then I shall know how
-to make it up.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why can’t you go to the milliner like other people,” growled the
-unsatisfied man; “and why, answer my question, shouldn’t you go in
-white?”</p>
-
-<p>I durstn’t confess that I had my own vanity in the matter, and being a
-matron, rather despised a white muslin frock to go out in; for if I had
-betrayed the least inkling of such a thing, there is no saying what he
-might not have done; run up a bill, or paid away all the money he had,
-or something; so I stopped his mouth with some foolish answer, and ran
-off to get my bonnet. Upstairs baby was sitting on the carpet, with
-Lizzie beside him, jumping a little paste-board harlequin to please him.
-Her brown eyes were quite sparkling over the loose-legged, insane
-figure, as she jerked the string about. I could not help but stand and
-look at her for a moment with a startled sensation. She was just as much
-amused as baby was. Only to think of such a child being left in charge
-of our boy! I went downstairs in consequence with a slower step, after
-having given Lizzie a superabundance of cautions about taking care of
-him. Only a girl of fourteen! I daresay all this time you must have been
-thinking I was mad to trust her; but, indeed, she was a very
-extraordinary girl; and after all, when you think it, fourteen is quite
-a trustworthy age. She was old enough to know what she ought to do, and
-not old enough to be distracted by thoughts of her own. Ah, depend upon
-it, fourteen is more single-minded than eighteen; and then Lizzie had a
-woman’s strength and handiness along with her child’s heart.</p>
-
-<p>Not to delay longer about it, we did go to the party. Harry said I
-looked very well on the whole; he did not think he would have been
-disposed to exchange with anybody. I had no jewellery at all, which was
-rather a little humiliating to me; but, to my wonder and delight, Harry
-did not object to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_178" id="page_178"></a>{178}</span> that. “They’ll only think you’re setting up for
-simplicity,” he said, laughing. “I suppose it’s safer to be thought a
-little humbug than to have your dreadful destitution known. Come along.
-Nobody will suspect you have not a bracelet; only mind you behave
-yourself very innocently, like a little shepherdess, and you’ll take
-everybody in.”</p>
-
-<p>I cannot say I very much admired this piece of advice; and if Harry had
-thought me the least likely to take it, I am sure he would not have been
-so ready with his good counsels. The party disappointed me a great deal.
-How is it one reads in books of society being so captivating, and
-intoxicating, and all that, and how, when one is used to it, one can’t
-do without it? On the contrary, it was as dull&mdash;duller than anybody
-could imagine! Instead of that delightful stream of conversation always
-kept up, and so easy, and so witty, and so clever, you could see
-perfectly well that everybody was trying to contrive what they should
-say, and to find out things that would bear talking about. The poor lady
-of the house was so anxious to keep up the talk that she ate no dinner
-in the first place; and in the second, evidently frightened by the
-pauses that occurred, kept talking loud herself, and dancing on from one
-subject to another till she was quite breathless. Then there was one man
-who was expected to make you laugh&mdash;people prepared to laugh whenever he
-opened his lips; but I am sorry to say I was so indiscreet as only to
-stare at him, and wonder what it was about. I caught the eye of the
-young lady sitting by him as I did so. She was little,&mdash;less than
-me,&mdash;dark, and very, <i>very</i> pretty. She was only Miss somebody, but she
-was dressed more richly than anybody there, and had the most beautiful
-bracelets. I could not help feeling a little when I looked at my poor
-wrists and my white muslin dress&mdash;I who was married, and she only a
-young girl; when, just at that moment, she gave me a quick look, lifting
-up her eyebrows, and smiling rather disdainfully at the great wit beside
-her. Immediately we two were put in communication somehow. I suppose it
-was mesmerism. Her eyes kept seeking mine all the time of dinner. The
-odd thing about her was that her hair was quite short, hanging in little
-curls upon her neck, like a child’s; and of all things in the world, for
-such a child to wear, she was dressed in <i>violet velvet</i>, the most
-beautiful shade in the world. I suppose Harry would have said she was a
-little humbug too, and did it for effect; but, to be sure, it must have
-been wealth and not poverty that did it in her case. When we went up to
-the drawing-room after dinner,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_179" id="page_179"></a>{179}</span> she very soon made her way to me. The
-other ladies, most of them belonging to the regiment, had come round me,
-and were doing their best to discover why I had been kept in the dark so
-long, and whether anything could be found out about me. I stood at bay
-pretty well, I think; but when Miss Cresswell came in, somehow all at
-once, like a fresh little breeze, in her soft velvet dress, to the sofa
-beside me, I really felt I could have laid down my head on her shoulder
-and cried. To be sure it was very foolish; one can smile and keep up
-when one is being baited, and when one finds a real friend after being
-aggravated out of one’s life, it is only natural to feel disposed to
-cry. I say a real friend, though I never saw her before,&mdash;it was
-mesmerism, I suppose; we took to each other at once.</p>
-
-<p>We had got quite intimate before the gentlemen came upstairs. I had told
-her where we lived, and she promised to come and see me, and we had
-found out a great many opinions we had in common. Things were different,
-however, when the gentlemen appeared. All the young men hovered about
-Miss Cresswell. There were few young ladies, and she was certainly much
-the prettiest; and, I am very grieved to have to say it&mdash;I cannot deny
-that she <i>did</i> flirt a little. She was disdainful, and would take no
-notice of anybody at first, but by degrees she did come to little bursts
-of flirtation; and I am afraid she liked it too. Then there began to be
-things said about her and me which displeased me. We were “Art and
-Nature,” somebody said; and some of the gentlemen evidently entertained
-the same feeling that Harry indicated, when he said they would suppose
-me a little humbug. Evidently we were both thought little humbugs,
-sitting by each other to set each other off. Some of them, I do believe,
-thought it had all been made up beforehand. Certainly we were a strange
-contrast; I, in my plain white dress, with no ornaments; she in velvet,
-with such a quantity of jewellery. But to have people looking at me, and
-contrasting me with Miss Cresswell, and making jokes upon my dress and
-hers, was what I did not choose to put up with. People accustomed to
-society may like it, but I did not. So I got up and took Harry’s arm,
-and went to look at a picture. Nobody spoke to us for some five minutes
-or so, but we were close to some ladies talking with all their might.
-Then some one touched my arm, and I saw Miss Cresswell had followed me,
-and brought an old gentleman with her. This was her father. I got behind
-one of the talking ladies to veil my “simplicity,” that there might be
-no more nonsense about<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_180" id="page_180"></a>{180}</span> it. The ladies were talking of women working.
-Oh, so little they knew or pretended to know about it; I wonder what
-they would have thought if they could have seen my laundry operations;
-or, indeed, I wonder, under all their fine talk, whether they had not,
-of mornings, some work to do themselves. However, I only tell this from
-the glimpse it gave me of my new friend.</p>
-
-<p>“It is all very well to speak of hardships,” cried Miss Cresswell. “<i>I</i>
-can’t see any hardship in doing one’s work. Ah! don’t you think they are
-very happy who <i>have</i> something to do?&mdash;something they must do whether
-they like it or not. I hate always doing things if I like! it is the
-most odious, tiresome stuff! If I like! and if I like it pray, what is
-the good of it? It is not work any longer, it is only pleasure.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear child,” said one of the old ladies, “be thankful you have so
-much ease and leisure. Your business just now is to please your papa.”</p>
-
-<p>Here the old gentleman burst in with a long slow laugh, “To worry him,
-you mean,” said Mr. Cresswell; “tell her of her duty, Mrs. Scrivin. Ah,
-my dear lady, she’s contrairy!” he cried, shaking his head with a
-certain air of complacence and ruefulness. Miss Cresswell gave him such
-a flashing, wicked look out of her dark eyes, and then seized my hand to
-lead me away somewhere. She was not a dutiful good girl, it appeared;
-she did not look like it. Now she was roused up, first by flirting, and
-then by rebellion and opposition, you could see it in her eyes. I am
-sorry, I am ashamed to confess it&mdash;but I do believe I liked her the
-better for being so wicked. It is very dreadful to say such a thing, but
-I am afraid it was true.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_181" id="page_181"></a>{181}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IV-d" id="Chapter_IV-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">O</span><span class="smcap">UR</span> fat Italian friend below stairs began to give us great amusement
-just then. Wherever he went he carried under his arm that square volume
-as fat as himself, in which Lizzie was at present pursuing her occult
-and bewildered studies. To see Domenico (for that was his name), coming
-to a sudden halt straight before you, blocking out all the light from
-that tiny passage which Mrs. Goldsworthy called her “hall,” and
-announcing, with a flourish of his dictionary, that he had something to
-communicate, was irresistibly comic certainly; but it was a little
-embarrassing as well. Domenico’s verbs were innocent of either past,
-present, or future. I presume he was quite above any considerations of
-grammar, except that supplied to him by nature, in his own language, and
-was not aware that such a master of the ceremonies existed to introduce
-him to the new tongue, which the poor fellow found so crabbed and
-unmanageable. I have heard of people managing to get on in foreign
-countries with a language composed of nouns and the infinitive of verbs
-(I honestly confess, that when I heard this story first, I had very
-vague ideas of what the infinitive of a verb was); a primitive savage
-language containing the possibilities of existence; eating, drinking,
-and sleeping; but quite above the conventional uses of conversation.
-Domenico’s ambition was far higher, but his information was absolutely
-confined to those same infinitives. He knew the word only as it stood in
-the dictionary&mdash;what were tenses and numbers to him? But you will
-perceive that a conversation conducted on these principles was
-necessarily wanting in precision, and that the conversing persons did
-not always understand each other with the clearness that might have been
-desired.</p>
-
-<p>One clear spring morning, a few days after the party, I was going out
-about household affairs, when Domenico stopped me on the way to the
-door. He had his coat off, and the immense expanse of man in
-shirt-sleeves, which presented itself before me, cannot be expressed by
-description. As usual, he was smiling all over his face; as usual, his
-red lips and white teeth<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_182" id="page_182"></a>{182}</span> opened out of his beard with a primitive
-fulness and genial good-humour; as usual, he seized his beard with one
-hand as he addressed me, opening out his big dictionary on the table
-with the other. “Signora,” cried Domenico, “the master my&mdash;me, of me,”
-first pointing at himself, and then, to make assurance sure, boxing his
-chest emphatically, “the my master,&mdash;Signora understand?&mdash;come back.”</p>
-
-<p>“What?” cried I, “he has come back, has he, Domenico?”</p>
-
-<p>Domenico nodded a hundred times with the fullest glee and rapture.
-“I&mdash;me&mdash;Domenico,” he cried, again boxing himself, that there might be
-no doubt of his identity, “make prepare.”</p>
-
-<p>From which I divined that the master was not yet returned; and, nodding
-half as often as Domenico, by way of signifying my entire content and
-sympathy, foolishly concluded that I was let off and might pass.
-However, Domenico was not yet done with me.</p>
-
-<p>“The Signora give little of the advice,” said Domenico, with unusual
-clearness, opening the door of his parlour, and inviting me by many
-gestures to enter. I looked in, much puzzled, and found the room in all
-the agonies of change. The carpet had been lifted, and the floor
-polished, which, perhaps, explained the sounds we had heard for some
-days. I cannot describe how the mean planks of poor Mrs. Goldsworthy’s
-little parlour, many of them gaping apart, looked under the painstaking
-labours of Domenico. He had contrived to rub them into due slipperiness
-and a degree of shine; but the result was profoundly dismal, and
-anything but corresponding to the face of complacency with which
-Domenico regarded his handiwork. The fat fellow watched my eyes, and was
-delighted at first to see my astonishment; but, perceiving immediately,
-with all the quick observation which our straitened possibilities of
-speech made necessary, that my admiration was by no means equal to
-surprise, his countenance fell. “He not pleases to the Signora,” said
-Domenico. Then he hastened to the corner where the rejected carpet lay
-in a roll, and spread a corner of it over the floor. I nodded my head
-again and applauded. Domenico’s disappointment was great.</p>
-
-<p>“But for the sommere?” said Domenico with a melancholy interrogation.</p>
-
-<p>“It is never so warm in England,&mdash;cold, cold,” I said, with great
-emphasis and distinctness. Domenico heard and brightened up.</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, thank! ah, thank! not me remember. England!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_183" id="page_183"></a>{183}</span> ah! Inghilterra! no
-Italia! ah, thank! the Signora make good.”</p>
-
-<p>The Signora was permitted to consider herself dismissed, I concluded by
-the bows that followed, and I hastened to the door, outstripping, as I
-thought, the anxious politeness of the fat Italian. But I wronged his
-devotion: with that light step, which was so ludicrously out of
-proportion to his enormous figure, he swung out of the room to open the
-door for me, and accomplished it in spite of my precipitation, taking in
-his vast dimensions somehow so as to pass me without collision. I went
-about my business with all the greater lightness after this comical
-encounter, and a little curiosity, I confess, in respect to the master
-who was coming home. Harry had heard of him already, as having quite a
-romantic story attached to him. He had come to Chester to see some lady
-whom he was quite confident of finding, and had been hunting all the
-neighbouring country for her without meeting anybody who knew even her
-name. It was supposed he had gone to make inquiries somewhere else, and
-now he was coming home. I got quite interested about it. I pictured him
-out to myself quite a romantic Italian, of course, with long hair, and a
-picturesque cloak, and possibly a guitar. I made up a story in my own
-mind, like that story of the Eastern girl and A’Becket&mdash;that prettiest
-story! I could fancy Domenico’s master, not knowing much more English,
-perhaps, than Domenico, wandering about everywhere with <i>the name</i> on
-his lips; for, of course, it must be a love-story. It is impossible to
-imagine it could be anything else.</p>
-
-<p>In the evening, when Harry and I were going out for a little walk,
-Domenico suddenly presented himself again, and stopped us. This time he
-was beaming broader than ever with smiles and innocent complacent
-self-content. He invited us into the parlour with a multitude of bows.
-Harry, who had heard the morning’s adventure, went immediately, and I
-followed him. The room was all in the most perfect tidiness; Mrs.
-Goldsworthy’s hideous ornaments were put in corners, ornaments of any
-kind being apparently better than none in Domenico’s eyes. But the
-mantel-piece, where the little flower-glasses had heretofore held sole
-sway, was now occupied by some plaster figures bought from some
-wandering image-merchant, whom Domenico had loudly fraternised and
-chattered with at the door some days before. In the middle was a bust of
-Dante, upon which the Italian had placed a wreath of green leaves. The
-walls were covered with cheap-coloured prints in frames&mdash;I suspect<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_184" id="page_184"></a>{184}</span> of
-Domenico’s own manufacture; such prints as people fasten up, all
-frameless in their simplicity, upon walls of nurseries: gay, bright,
-cheap, highly-coloured articles, which quite satisfied the taste of
-Domenico, himself a child in everything but size and years. It was
-nothing to his simple mind that they had no money value, and I suppose
-no value in art either. I don’t suppose Domenico knew anything about
-art, though he was an Italian. But he knew about decoration! He had made
-the walls blush and smile to welcome the new-comer. I trust his master
-was no artist either, and could appreciate the adornments which made the
-face of Domenico beam. The good fellow was so pleased that he forgot his
-dictionary; he burst forth into long explanations, interspersed by
-bursts of laughter and gestures of delight, in his own tongue. He threw
-open the door of the little room behind to reveal to us the arrangements
-of his master’s bedchamber. He explained to Harry&mdash;at least I have no
-doubt, by the way he pointed to the carpet, and the frequency of the
-word Signora, that this was what he meant&mdash;all about the carpet and his
-polished floor. At last it suddenly flashed upon Domenico that he was
-spending his eloquence in vain. He rushed to the table where his beloved
-dictionary reposed; he dashed at its pages in frantic haste, with wild
-pantomimic entreaties to us to wait. “Is good? good?” said Domenico,
-with an eager expressiveness which made up for his defective verbs. I
-applauded with all the might of gestures and smiles; upon which our
-friend once more opened the door for us. “To-morrow! after to-morrow!”
-said the good fellow. It was then his master was coming home.</p>
-
-<p>And, I am sorry to say, Harry was rather disposed to laugh at the fat
-Italian, and to be sarcastic upon his beautiful prints. Harry did not
-know anything in the world about pictures; but he knew how cheap these
-were, and that was enough for him, the prose Englishman. I am thankful
-to say that I soon reduced him to silence. He declared I was savage in
-good Domenico’s defence.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_185" id="page_185"></a>{185}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_V-d" id="Chapter_V-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“M</span><span class="smcap">EM</span>, he’s been at the market,” said Lizzie, next morning, “and bought a
-hen; and he smiles and laughs to himself like to bring down the house.”</p>
-
-<p>This was the first bulletin of the important day on which the Italian
-gentleman was expected home.</p>
-
-<p>The next report was more painful to Lizzie’s feelings. “He’s been at the
-chapel,” said Lizzie, in a horrified whisper, “and brought hame water to
-put in the wee bowlie at the maister’s bedhead. Oh, did you see it? it
-has a cross, and&mdash;and&mdash;a figure on’t,” said Lizzie, with a deep awe,
-“and a wee round bowlie for the water. What’ll yon be for? I’m no sure
-it’s safe to be in the same house.”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie’s horror, however, did not diminish her curiosity. After a little
-interval another scrap of information reached my attentive ear. “He has
-some veal on the kitchen-table,” said Lizzie, “and if he’s no’ working
-at it himsel’! A man! cutting away and paring away, and putting the pan
-a’ ready like a woman&mdash;and, eh, mem, the wastry’s dreadful. He’s making
-holes in’t and stuffin’ them fu’ o’ something. Noo he’s puttin’t on the
-fire.”</p>
-
-<p>That day baby was neglected for the first time. Lizzie was too much
-excited and interested&mdash;not to say that she had an observant eye and
-believed it quite possible that she might receive a hint from this man
-of all work&mdash;to repress her natural curiosity. The next thing she
-reported was a half-alarmed statement that “he was away out again and
-left it at the fire; and what if it was <i>sitting to</i><a name="FNanchor_A_1" id="FNanchor_A_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_A_1" class="fnanchor">[A]</a> before he came
-hame?” Lizzie’s dread of this accident carried her off downstairs to
-watch Domenico’s stew with friendly anxiety. In about an hour she
-re-appeared again.</p>
-
-<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_A_1" id="Footnote_A_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_A_1"><span class="label">[A]</span></a> A Scotch expression which signifies burned in the pan.</p></div>
-
-<p>“He’s come back; and, eh! o’ a’ the things in the world to think upon,
-it’s a box of thae nasty things he smokes!” cried Lizzie. “If the
-gentlemen smokes tae, we’ll a’ be driven out of the house.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_186" id="page_186"></a>{186}</span></p>
-
-<p>Just then, however, another incident occurred which interrupted Lizzie’s
-observations. As she went out of the room, in silent despair, after her
-last alarming presentiment, somebody evidently encountered her coming
-up. “I want Mrs. Langham, please,” cried Miss Cresswell’s voice. “Are
-you her maid? Oh, I’m not to be shown into the drawing-room. I am to go
-to <i>her</i>. Where is she?&mdash;in the nursery? Show me where to go, please.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you <i>maun</i> go to the drawing-room,” said Lizzie, making, as I felt
-sure from the little quiver in her voice, her bob to the young lady, and
-audibly opening the sacred door of our state apartment.</p>
-
-<p>“Maun? do you mean must? I never do anything I must,” said Miss
-Cresswell. “There now! make haste; show me where Mrs. Langham is.”</p>
-
-<p>“The drawing-room is the place for leddies that come visiting,” said
-Lizzie, resolutely. “I’ll no let ye in ony other place.”</p>
-
-<p>“You’ll not let me in!&mdash;what do you mean, you impertinent child?” cried
-Miss Cresswell.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m no a child,” cried Lizzie. “I ken my duty; and if I was to loose my
-good place what good would that do onybody? If ye please, ye’ll come in
-here.”</p>
-
-<p>The pause of astonishment that followed was evident by the silence; then
-a little quick impatient step actually passed into that poor little
-drawing-room. “You strange little soul! but I’ll tell Mrs. Langham,”
-cried Miss Cresswell.</p>
-
-<p>“I’m no a soul,” said Lizzie; “I’m just like other folk. I’m Mrs.
-Langham’s lass; and she kens me different from a stranger. What name
-will I say, if ye please?”</p>
-
-<p>This question was answered by a burst of laughter from the visitor,
-which I increased by throwing open the door of my concealment and
-disclosing myself with baby in my arms. <i>He had on his best frock by
-accident</i>, which explains my rashness.</p>
-
-<p>“How have you managed it?” cried Miss Cresswell; “why, here is a
-romance-servant. Dear Mrs. Langham, tell me what you have done to make
-her so original&mdash;and let me have baby. I have not come to make a call,
-as that creature supposed. I have come as a friend&mdash;you said I might.
-Why must I be brought into this room?”</p>
-
-<p>“It is the most cheerful room,” said I, evading the question: “however,
-Lizzie did not mean to be saucy&mdash;she knew no better&mdash;but she is the most
-famous help in the world, though she is little more than a child.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_187" id="page_187"></a>{187}</span></p>
-
-<p>“But then I suppose you must do a great many things yourself?” said my
-visitor, looking me very close in the face.</p>
-
-<p>I felt my cheeks grow hot in spite of myself&mdash;if Harry had heard her he
-would have been furious; and I daresay many people would have set this
-down at once as the impertinence of the rich to the poor. I felt it was
-no such thing; but still it embarrassed me a little, against my will.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know some people would be affronted to be asked as much?” said
-I.</p>
-
-<p>“I know,” cried Miss Cresswell, with a little toss of her head,&mdash;“people
-who can’t understand how miserable it is not to <i>have</i> to do anything.
-Do you believe in voluntary work? I don’t. I can’t see it’s any good. I
-can’t see the use of it. I should like to cook the dinner and keep the
-things tidy. I should like to see everything stand gaping and calling
-for me till I set it to rights. That’s the pleasure; but as for saving
-somebody else trouble, why should I do it? I can’t see any advantage
-whatever in that.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then you would not have me save Lizzie or the landlady some trouble
-when I can?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“That is totally a different thing,” said the impetuous little girl;
-then she started, in a manner to me inexplicable, and gazed out of the
-window near which she was sitting. “Mr. Luigi!” she exclaimed to
-herself; “now I should so like to know what he wants here.”</p>
-
-<p>Just then there was the noise of an arrival at the door; of course it
-must be the Italian gentleman. “Who is he?” said I. “If it is the
-Italian, he lives here.”</p>
-
-<p>Without making any immediate reply, Miss Cresswell clasped her hands
-softly together. “How strange!” she exclaimed. Of course it was her own
-thoughts she was following out, but they seemed sufficiently interesting
-to rouse my attention. I occupied myself in the meantime with baby,
-feeling that it would be the merest cruelty to call upon Lizzie at this
-climax of the day’s excitement. And Miss Cresswell leant forward,
-carefully drawing out the curtain of the window to shade her, and
-watching the return of Domenico’s master. Her colour was a little higher
-than it had been previously, and she seemed to have quite quietly and
-comfortably forgotten my presence, I was amused; and, if I must confess
-it, I was in a condition to be easily affronted as well. At last she
-recovered herself, and blushed violently.</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know what you will think of me,” she cried; “but it <i>is</i> so
-strange&mdash;my godmamma had the last news of his going,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_188" id="page_188"></a>{188}</span> and I have the
-first intelligence of his return. Do you know, there is quite a story
-about him. He has come here to seek out a lady whom nobody ever heard
-of; but I do believe, whatever any one may choose to say, that godmamma
-Sarah knows.”</p>
-
-<p>“Knows? Will she not tell, then?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Look here,” said Miss Cresswell; “she was once a great beauty; and I
-believe, if you never will tell anybody, that she’s a cruel, wicked old
-woman. There! I did not mean to say half so much. She got so agitated
-whenever she heard what Mr. Luigi wanted that nobody could help finding
-her out; but, though I am certain she knows, she will do everything in
-the world rather than tell.”</p>
-
-<p>“But why?”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I cannot tell you why. I know nothing at all about it; and
-remember,” cried my imprudent visitor, “that I tell you all this in the
-greatest secret! I would not tell papa nor any one. I said it to my own
-godmamma just as it came into my head, and put her into such distress,
-the dear old soul! My own idea is, that godmamma Sarah does it only for
-spite; but her sister, you know, has a different opinion, and is
-frightened, and does not know what she is frightened about. I daresay
-you will think me very strange to say so,” said Miss Cresswell, again
-blushing very much, “but I should like to meet Mr. Luigi. I am sure he
-is somehow connected with my godmothers: I cannot make out how, I am
-sure; but I am quite certain, however unlikely it may be, that godmamma
-Sarah knows!”</p>
-
-<p>She seemed quite excited and in earnest about it; so, as all her
-thoughts were turned that way, I told her our amusing intercourse with
-Domenico, and what good friends we were. Though she laughed and clapped
-her hands, she was too much engrossed with her own thoughts evidently to
-be much amused. She was most anxious to know whether I had heard
-anything of Mr. Luigi; whether the landlady talked of him; whether I
-knew how he came to Chester. She told me the story I had heard dimly
-from Harry in the most clear and distinct manner. On the whole, she
-filled me with suspicions. If I had not seen her flirting so lately, I
-should certainly have fancied her in love.</p>
-
-<p>“You know him, then?” said I, after hearing her very steadily to an end.</p>
-
-<p>“Not in the least,” she cried, once more blushing in the most violent,
-undisguisable way. “How should I know him?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_189" id="page_189"></a>{189}</span> Don’t you know I have no
-brothers or sisters, Mrs. Langham? and can’t you suppose that papa has
-exactly the same people to dinner year after year? Ah, you are quite
-different! You have your own place, and can choose your own
-society&mdash;choose me, please, there’s a darling! My name’s Sara; quite a
-waiting-maid’s name; let me have baby and come and help you. As for
-saying he would not come to me, it is nonsense. I will tell you exactly
-how many friends I have,&mdash;Godmamma, who is more than a friend, of
-course, but no relation; my old nurse, whom I <i>never</i> see, and who lives
-a hundred miles off; and old Miss Fielding, at the rectory. Now only
-think how much I am alone! You are quite new here; you can choose for
-yourself&mdash;choose me!”</p>
-
-<p>“With all my heart!” said I. I was so much surprised by her ignorance
-and her free speech, that, though I liked her very much, I really did
-not know what more to say.</p>
-
-<p>“I suppose, then, I may take off my bonnet?” she said, quite innocently
-looking up in my face.</p>
-
-<p>If she had rushed to kiss me I could have understood it. If she had
-declared we were to be friends for ever, I should have quite gone in
-with her; but, to take off her bonnet! that was quite a different
-matter. I am sadly afraid I stammered and stared. I wanted a friend as
-much as she did&mdash;but men are such strange creatures. What would Harry
-say when he came in?</p>
-
-<p>However, Sara Cresswell did not wait till I finished considering. In
-five minutes after she was sitting on the carpet at the window with
-little Harry, playing with him. The child was quite delighted. As for
-me, I was too much taken by surprise to know whether I was pleased or
-not. Harry was to dine at mess that night; and, of course, I had only
-meant to have tea all by myself in the little back room. What was to be
-done? I am sorry to say I was very much tempted to improvise a dinner,
-and pretend that it was just what I always did. I think the thing that
-saved me from this was looking at her with her little short curls; she
-looked so like a child! Besides, if we were really to be friends, was I
-to begin by deceiving her? Much better she should know at once all our
-simple ways.</p>
-
-<p>“You will have no dinner,” said I, faltering a little. “Mr. Langham goes
-out, and I only take tea.”</p>
-
-<p>“That is exactly what I like. Dinners are <i>such</i> bores!” said Sara, with
-the air of one who belonged to us and had taken possession.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_190" id="page_190"></a>{190}</span></p>
-
-<p>It was getting quite dark, and the lamps were being lighted outside; of
-course it delighted baby very much to be held up to see them, as his new
-nurse held him. As she stood there lifting him up, I put my hand upon
-her pretty hair. She had quite taken my heart.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you had a fever, dear?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Sara stared at me a moment, then looked deeply affronted, then burst
-into a strange laugh. “I forgive you, because you called me dear,” she
-cried, starting off with baby to the other window. I suppose, then, it
-had not been a fever&mdash;some foolish fancy or other,&mdash;and no doubt her
-friends and acquaintance had pretty well avenged it, without any further
-question from me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_191" id="page_191"></a>{191}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VI-d" id="Chapter_VI-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">N</span><span class="smcap">EXT</span> morning I was a little amused and a little surprised to think over
-all that had happened. The idea of having a friend, who stayed with me
-till after nine, and helped to put baby to bed, and interfered with
-Lizzie, and turned over all our few books, and asked all sorts of
-questions, was the oddest thing in the world to me; and of course when I
-told Harry I heard all sorts of jokes from him about female friendship,
-and inquiries how long it would last, which made me extremely angry. Are
-men’s friendships any steadier, I wonder? I should say <i>male</i>
-friendship, to be even with him. Mr. Thackeray is delightful; but he
-puts a great deal of stuff into young men’s heads. I allow <i>he</i> may joke
-if he likes&mdash;to be sure, he does not mean half of it&mdash;but do you suppose
-<i>they</i> may all follow his example? Not that I mean to infer anything on
-Harry’s part that I could not pay him back quite comfortably. But not
-meaning Harry in the least, I don’t see why I should not do my little
-bit of criticism. I was just beginning to read books at that time, and
-everything was fresh to me. All the foolish lads think they are quite as
-wise as Mr. Thackeray, and have quite as good a right to think
-themselves behind the scenes. I suppose there never was anybody who did
-not like to feel superior and wiser than his neighbours. I would put
-Domenico’s laurel wreath on Mr. Thackeray’s head; but I should like to
-put an extinguisher on the heads of the Thackerians. I should think the
-great man would be disposed to knock down half the people that quote
-him, could he only hear, and behold, and note.</p>
-
-<p>However, that has nothing to do with my story. I knew Lizzie must be in
-a highly excited state from long repression of her manifold gleanings of
-intelligence respecting last night’s arrival; and I went to her as soon
-as Harry was out lest any explosion should happen. Lizzie, however,
-looked rather downcast as, baby being asleep, she went about her work
-upstairs. My first idea was that some jealousy of Miss Cresswell had
-invaded the girl’s mind, but that did not explain all the peculiarities
-of her manner. She certainly allowed herself to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_192" id="page_192"></a>{192}</span> be drawn into an
-account of Domenico’s proceedings, which gradually inspired and animated
-her; but even in the midst of this she would make a hurried pause, now
-and then, and listen, as if some painful sound had reached her ear.</p>
-
-<p>“It was a very grand dinner. Eh, I never saw onything like the way he
-steered, and twisted, and mixed, and watched,” said Lizzie; “he maun be
-a real man-cook, like what’s in books; and took up everything separate,
-six different things one after the ither; and Sally says there was as
-mony plates as if it had been a great party; and the minute before and
-the minute after, what was the gentleman doing but smoking like as if he
-was on fire; and eh, mem, he maun be a great man yon! Domenico kissed
-his hand; but after that,” continued Lizzie, blushing and turning aside
-with a strong sense of impropriety, “the gentleman kissed <i>him</i>!”</p>
-
-<p>“That is how foreigners do,” said I, in apology.</p>
-
-<p>“And after the dinner there was that sound o’ tongues through the house,
-you would have thought the walls would ha’e been down. Eh, sic language
-for Christians to speak! but, mem, they’re no Christians, they’re
-Papishers&mdash;is that true?” said Lizzie, with a little anxiety. “Such a
-blatter o’ words, and no one a body could understand. No’ that I was
-wantin’ to understand; but it’s awfu’ funny to hear folk speakin’, and
-nae sense in’t. Eh, whisht! what was that?” cried Lizzie, starting and
-stopping short in her tale.</p>
-
-<p>It certainly was, or sounded, very like a moan of pain.</p>
-
-<p>“What is it, Lizzie?”</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, to think of us speaking of dinners, and sic nonsense!&mdash;and, mem,
-it’s a poor man like to dee with pride, and sickness, and starvation!
-What will I do? What will I do?” cried Lizzie. “If naebody else in the
-house durst, it maun be me. I’ll no keep quiet ony langer&mdash;he canna be
-ill at me that was destitute mysel’. I’ll gang and steal the bairn’s
-beef-tea, and tell him lies, that it’s his ain. Mem, let me gang. I
-canna bear’t ony mair!”</p>
-
-<p>I stopped her, however, growing very much excited myself. “What is it?
-What do you mean?”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie, who was choking with distress, eagerness, and excitement,
-pointed her finger up, and struggled to find her voice. It burst upon me
-in a moment. The poor gentleman in the attic, the threadbare wistful man
-who went out to dine, had not been visible for some days. Lizzie told me
-in gasps what the landlady had told her. He was ill; he was very poor;
-deeply in Mrs. Goldsworthy’s debt. They had noticed that<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_193" id="page_193"></a>{193}</span> his usual work
-had not been on his table for some time, and that no domestic stores of
-any kind were in his little cupboard; three days ago he had become too
-ill to go out, they did not think he had anything to eat, and he would
-accept nothing from them. All yesterday they had not ventured to enter
-his room. Sick, starving, friendless&mdash;what a picture it was! No wonder
-he had hungry, wistful eyes. I lost no time as you may suppose. I sent
-Lizzie flying downstairs for the beef-tea. As for asking whether he
-would admit me or not, whether he would think it impertinent or not, I
-never stopped to think. Another of those moans, more audible this time
-because I was listening for it, thrilled me through and through before
-Lizzie came back. Bless the girl! in no time at all she had got the
-whitest napkin to be had in the house for the tray; and the beef-tea
-smoked and smelt just as it ought. I was at the door of the room before
-I thought anything about how I was to excuse myself. By mere instinct I
-opened the door first; then knocked, merely to warn the inmate of my
-coming, and in another moment stood all by myself in a new world.</p>
-
-<p>Another world! a world of misery, endurance, voiceless passion, and
-persistence, altogether unknown to me. He was lying on some chairs
-before the fireplace, supporting his gaunt shoulders against the end of
-his bed,&mdash;before the fireplace, in which there was no fire, nor had
-been. It was trim and well-blacked, and filled up with faded ornamental
-chippings of paper. His table was beside him, and he leaned one arm on
-it; nothing on the table, not even a book, except some old pens,
-blotting-paper, and an ink-bottle. His coat buttoned close up to his
-neck, with dreadful suggestive secrecy, plainly telling how little there
-was below; and the hungry sad eyes, glaring wolfish and frenzied out of
-his worn face. He gave a great start when I came in, and either in
-passion or weakness thrust one of the chairs from under his feet, so
-that it fell with a great noise on the floor. The sound and the movement
-made my heart beat. But he took no further notice, only stared at me. I
-went forward and put the tray before him on the table, uncovered the
-basin, placed everything within his reach. All the while he stared at
-me, his eyes contracting and dilating as I never saw the eyes of any
-human creature before. I scarcely think he was a human creature at that
-moment; at least he was holding to his manhood only by that frantic hold
-of pride, which hunger and misery were rending before my very eyes. He
-began to tremble dreadfully; the sight of the food excited his weakness;
-but he tried to resist till the last gasp.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_194" id="page_194"></a>{194}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Who are you? and how dare you come to my room and intrude upon me!” he
-said hoarsely, and trembling like a palsied man.</p>
-
-<p>“I am your fellow-lodger. You used to notice my baby when you went
-downstairs; and they told me you were ill, and could not go out. When
-one is ill there is nothing so good as beef-tea,” said I, trembling a
-good deal myself; “even if you cannot eat, you might drink a little, and
-it would refresh you. Do pray try, it will do you good.”</p>
-
-<p>“And how do you know?” he said trembling more and more, till his very
-utterance was indistinct, “that I cannot have beef-tea or&mdash;or anything
-else I like, of my own. Ah!” he ended, with a sharp cry. He put forward
-his hand towards it; then he stopped in a dreadful spasm of resistance,
-and glared at me. I obeyed my first impulse, and went out of the room
-hurriedly. He would not take it while I was there.</p>
-
-<p>In about five minutes after I went back again with some coals and wood,
-in one of Mrs. Goldsworthy’s old coal scuttles. I thought I saw how to
-manage him&mdash;never to ask permission or make apologies, but simply to do
-what was needful. He had emptied the basin, I saw at a glance, and had a
-piece of bread in his hand, which he put down when I came in. He said
-nothing, but stared at me as I lighted the fire. When my back was turned
-to him I fancied he made another stealthy application to the bread. He
-would hide the full amount of his misery if it were possible; but it was
-only a partial victory he could obtain over himself.</p>
-
-<p>“Who, who are you?” he said at last. “You&mdash;you are a lady, eh? It is not
-your business to make up fires?”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said I, as cheerfully as I could; “but we are poor; and when one
-has not much money one has many things to do.”</p>
-
-<p>At this the poor gentleman gave a great groan. Then, after a little,
-gasped, in broken words, “Thank God! creatures like you don’t know the
-truths they say.”</p>
-
-<p>I understood him at once. “No,” said I, “it is quite true; but God knows
-all about it, that is a comfort always. Don’t you think if I put the
-pillows behind you, you would be more comfortable? Try this. I am quite
-sure it is better so.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! but how do you know I can’t have pillows as I please, and whatever
-I want of my own?” cried the jealous, delirious pride, waking up again
-in his big hollow eyes.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_195" id="page_195"></a>{195}</span></p>
-
-<p>“I don’t know anything about it,” said I; “but you have nobody with you
-just now. If you will not send for any friends, you can’t help having
-neighbours all the same.”</p>
-
-<p>He said, “Ah!” again, and relapsed into his silent stare. But for the
-frenzy of desperate want and desperate pride, which only flickered up by
-moments, he was too far benumbed with want and suffering to do anything
-in the way of resistance. After I had settled him a little comfortable I
-went downstairs again, and as soon as baby’s second bowl of beef-tea,
-which had been hastily made to take the place of the first, was ready, I
-stole that also, and went up with it again. Baby, who was as fat as
-possible, could quite well do without it; and I remember having read
-that people, who had been in great want, should get food very often but
-not much at a time. The poor gentleman was lying with his head on the
-pillow and his eyes half shut, the light of the fire glimmering over
-him, and a kind of quiet in his attitude. When he opened his eyes they
-grew wolfish again for a moment; but he was subdued&mdash;the first frenzy
-was gone. Somehow he did not seem alone any longer, with that dear good
-charitable fire blazing and crackling, and making all the noise it
-could, as if to show what company it could be. And this time he actually
-drew the basin towards him, and ate its contents before me. I went to
-the little window and cried a little privately. Oh, it was pitiful!
-pitiful! That morning I am sure he had laid himself down upon these
-chairs, mad with want, bitterness, and solitude, to die.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_196" id="page_196"></a>{196}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VII-d" id="Chapter_VII-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“Y</span><span class="smcap">OU</span>, who would not go out to dinner because you could not afford it!”
-cried Harry, “how do you dare venture on such rash proceedings? It
-appears to me you have adopted a new member into the family.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, but it is different,” said I; “going out to dinner was a matter of
-choice, this was a matter of necessity.”</p>
-
-<p>“It depends upon how people think,” said Harry, “the priest and the
-Levite were of quite a different opinion; but if you mean to have
-friends and pensioners, and get rich people and poor people about you,
-Milly darling, we’ll have to think of new supplies. I cannot imagine how
-it has gone out of my mind all this time. Pendleton actually asked me
-to-day whether I had heard anything more about your grandfather’s
-house.”</p>
-
-<p>“My grandfather’s house!” I said; and we both looked at each other and
-laughed; our removal had put all that out of our heads. Chester, and new
-places to look at, and new people to see, and just the usual disturbance
-of one’s thoughts in changing about, had betrayed Harry who was so
-anxious about it, just as much as it had betrayed me.</p>
-
-<p>“I must see after it now in earnest. A thousand pounds or so, you know,”
-said Harry, with a kind of serio-comic look, “would be worth a great
-deal to you just now.”</p>
-
-<p>And with this he went out. A thousand pounds or so! twenty would have
-been nice; aye, or ten, or even five, more than just our regular money.
-However, I only laughed to myself, and went upstairs to my poor
-gentleman. After all, I am not so sure that he was a gentleman, or at
-least anything unusual in himself. He was very independent, and want,
-and a passionate dread of being found out, and made a pauper of, had
-carried him to a kind of heroism for the moment. But when he got used to
-me, and consented to let me bring him things, he became very much like
-other people. He was always eager to get the newspaper and see the news.
-I carried him up the Chester paper, which Mrs. Goldsworthy took in just
-now.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_197" id="page_197"></a>{197}</span></p>
-
-<p>When I went into his room, the first thing I saw was two letters on the
-table. He was just drawing back, and still trembling from his exertion,
-for he was still very weak. He put the letters towards me with a little
-movement of his hand.</p>
-
-<p>“I am writing to ask for work; I’m wonderfully steady now, wonderfully
-steady; if they would only give me work! Ah, it’s hard times when a man
-can’t get work,” he said.</p>
-
-<p>I glanced at them as he wished me. “Cresswell?” said I; “I think I know
-his daughter, Mr. Ward. I’ll speak to her; perhaps she can make him help
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“She can make him do whatever she likes,” said my friend, with his
-wistful eyes; “it’ll be well for him if she don’t make him do what he’ll
-repent.”</p>
-
-<p>“How do you mean?” said I, with some surprise.</p>
-
-<p>“Well!” said my patient, “it’s a story I don’t understand, and I can’t
-give you the rights of it. I was never more than just about the office
-an hour or so in the day, getting my copy. You see there’s two rich old
-ladies about half-a-dozen miles out o’ Chester, and there’s either some
-flaw in their title, or something that way. I know for certain there was
-an advertisement written out for the Times, for one Mortimer&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Mortimer!”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” he said, looking at me in his eager way. “I suppose it had been
-some day when he had quarrelled with them, and meant to bring in the
-true owner; when all of a sudden it was withdrawn, and has never been in
-the Times to this day; and Miss Cresswell after that spent a long time
-at the Park. Somebody said in the office it was more than likely the
-ladies would leave their property to her; and to be sure if that was so,
-it would be none of her father’s business to hunt up the right heir.”</p>
-
-<p>I felt completely dizzy and bewildered; I kept looking down upon the
-table, where the letters seemed to be flitting about with the strangest
-unsteady motion.</p>
-
-<p>“And are the ladies called Mortimer?” I said, almost under my breath.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes; they’re folks well known in Chester, though seldom to be seen
-here,” said Mr. Ward; “the youngest one, Miss Milly, is a good creature;
-the other one, and her name is Sarah, was a great beauty in her day. I
-remember when I was a lad, we young fellows would walk all that way just
-to see her riding out of the gates, or driving her grey ponies;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_198" id="page_198"></a>{198}</span> they
-called her the beautiful Miss Mortimer in those days. I daresay now
-she’s as old, and as crazy, and as chilly&mdash;but thank heaven, she can
-never be as poor, and as friendless, and as suffering&mdash;as me.”</p>
-
-<p>I could not make any answer for a long time. I stood with my hands
-clasped together, and my brain in a perfect whirl; these words, Sarah,
-Miss Mortimer, the Park, going in gusts through my mind. What did it
-mean? I had come upstairs with a smile on my lips about the fabulous
-house of my grandfather. Was this the real story now about to disclose
-itself? I felt for a moment that overwhelming impatience to hear more
-which makes one giddy when on the verge of a discovery; but I did not
-want to betray myself to the old man.</p>
-
-<p>“And do you mean,” said I, holding fast by the table to keep myself from
-trembling, “that they are not the lawful owners of their estate?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nay, I cannot tell you that,” said my patient, very coolly; “but what
-could be wanted with an advertisement in the Times for one Mortimer? and
-old Cresswell holding it back, you know, as soon as it was likely that
-his girl might get the Park.”</p>
-
-<p>“Do you remember what was the Mortimer’s name that was to be advertised
-for? I know some Mortimers,” said I, with a little tremble in my voice.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t say I exactly remember just at this moment,” said the old man,
-after a little pause. “It wasn’t like a Mortimer name; it was&mdash;nay,
-stay,&mdash;it was one of the cotton-spinners’ names; I remember I thought of
-the spinning-jenny directly; something in that way; I can’t tell exactly
-what it was.”</p>
-
-<p>I could scarcely stand. I could scarcely keep silent; and yet I durst
-not, for something that choked the voice in my throat, suggest my
-father’s name boldly to his recollection. I hurried away and threw
-myself on a chair in my own room. All was silent there; but with just a
-door between us Lizzie was playing with my boy; and his crows of infant
-delight, and her soft but homely voice, seemed to break in upon the
-solitude I wanted. I rose from that retreat, and went down to our little
-drawing room. There it was Domenico’s voice, round and full, singing,
-whistling, talking, all in a breath. Nowhere could I get quiet enough to
-think over the extraordinary information I had just received. Or,
-rather, indeed it was not either Lizzie’s voice, or Domenico’s, but the
-agitation and tumult in my own mind; the beating of my heart, and the
-stir and restlessness that rose<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_199" id="page_199"></a>{199}</span> in me, that prevented me from thinking.
-Could it be possible that my father’s languid prophecy, which Aunt
-Connor reported so lightly, had truth in it after all? The idea excited
-me beyond the power of thinking. I went out and came in. I took up
-various kinds of work and threw them down again; I could do nothing till
-Harry came in, and I had told him. Then I fancied there might possibly
-seem some sense and coherence in the news. If this were to come true,
-then what prospects might be dawning upon us! In this sudden
-illumination my past dread returned to me, as a fear which has been
-forgotten for a time always does. The war! if Harry’s wife turned out a
-great heiress, must not Harry himself cease to be a soldier and enter
-into his fortune? Ah me! but he would not; he would not if I should ask
-him on my knees; not, at least, till he had taken his chance of getting
-killed like all the rest.</p>
-
-<p>This threw me back, with scarcely a moment’s interval, into the full
-tide of those thoughts which had tortured me before we came to Chester.
-I got up from my chair and began to walk about the room in the
-restlessness of great sudden apprehension and terror. All my trouble
-came back. My fears had but been asleep, the real circumstances were
-unchanged; even to-day, this very day, Harry might be ordered to the
-war.</p>
-
-<p>He saw my nervous, troubled look in a moment when he came in; he was
-struck by it at once. “You look as you once looked in Edinburgh, Milly,”
-he said, coming up to me; “what is the matter? Something has happened
-while I have been away?”</p>
-
-<p>“Harry,” cried I, with a little excitement, suddenly remembering that I
-had news to tell him. “I have found the Park and the Sarah; I have found
-the estate I am heiress to; I have found out something far more
-important than that old red-brick house; and, do you know, hearing of
-this brought everything to my mind directly, all my terrors and
-troubles. Never mind, I’ll tell you what I heard in the first place. It
-was from my poor gentleman upstairs.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry, who had heard me with great interest up to this point, suddenly
-shrugged up his shoulders, and put his lips together with that
-disdainful provoking whew! with which men think they can always put one
-down.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, indeed, you need not be scornful!” said I; “he writes papers for a
-lawyer, and had a very good way of knowing. He says Mr. Cresswell had an
-advertisement all ready to be put<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_200" id="page_200"></a>{200}</span> into the Times some months ago, for
-one Mortimer, whose name reminded him of a spinning-jenny. But it never
-was sent to the paper, because Miss Cresswell went out to the Park, and
-it was thought the ladies would make her their heiress; but it was
-supposed there was some flaw in their title, and that this Mortimer
-would be the true heir.”</p>
-
-<p>“The Park, and the ladies, and Miss Cresswell, and it was supposed? By
-Jove, Milly!” cried Harry, with great vehemence, “do you see how
-important this is?&mdash;have you no better grounds than it was thought, and,
-it was supposed?”</p>
-
-<p>“You are unreasonable, Harry; I only heard what he had to say; and,
-besides, it might not be my father, nor the same people at all. <i>He</i>
-could not tell me, I only heard what he had to say.”</p>
-
-<p>But this explanation did not satisfy Harry; he became as excited as I
-had been, but in a different way. He snatched up his hat, and would have
-gone at once, on the impulse of the moment, to see Mr. Cresswell, had
-not I detained him. The news had the same influence on Harry that it had
-on me. It woke us both out of that happy quiescence into which we had
-fallen when we came here. We were no longer dwelling at peace, safe in
-each other’s society; once more we were thrown into all the agitation
-that belonged to our condition and prospects.</p>
-
-<p>Harry was a soldier, ready to be sent off any day to the camp and the
-trenches, gravely anxious about a home and shelter for his wife and
-child; I, a soldier’s wife, ready at any moment to have the light of my
-eyes torn from me, and my life cut in twain. After the first hurried
-burst of consultation, we were both silent, thinking on these things.
-Certainly it was better that we should have been aroused. The reality
-coming at once, all unapprehended and unthought of, would otherwise have
-been an intolerable blow. Now there was little fear that we could forget
-again.</p>
-
-<p>It was natural that we should return to the subject again and again
-during the day. Harry drew my father’s old books, and the drawing he had
-laughed at, from his own desk, where he had kept them; and with them the
-envelope, full of formal documents, which he had written to Aunt Connor
-for with so much haste and importance, to substantiate my claim to my
-grandfather’s house; there they lay, unused, almost unlooked at. Harry
-shook his head as he drew them out. We neither of us said anything. We
-were neither of us sorry that we had forgotten all about it for a time.
-For my own part, I went<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_201" id="page_201"></a>{201}</span> away upstairs very like to cry. This
-information, which had thrown us back into so many troubles, might never
-come to anything; and even if it did, what difference would that make?
-Harry, if I was found out to be a king’s daughter, would never leave his
-profession, or shrink from its dangers, while this war lasted. My
-pleasant forgetfulness was over now. He was looking at this subject in
-the same light he had looked at it before we left Edinburgh;&mdash;it would
-be a home for me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_202" id="page_202"></a>{202}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VIII-d" id="Chapter_VIII-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> was an agitated, troubled day. The accidental nature of the
-information, calmly told to one who was supposed to have no interest in
-it; the coincidence of the names; the startled feeling we had in thus
-being suddenly brought into contact with people nearly connected with
-us, who were unaware of our existence, and of whose existence we had
-been unaware, acted very powerfully on our imaginations. I don’t think
-either Harry or I had a moment’s doubt upon the subject. As to the
-identity of the persons, certainly none; and I confess that I, for one,
-received with perfect faith the suggestion that there was a wrong
-somehow in the matter, and that my father had turned out to be the true
-heir. It never occurred to me to imagine any other reason for the
-suppressed advertisement; and Mr. Cresswell, whom I had thought at the
-very climax of respectability, suddenly descended into a romantic
-lawyer-villain in my excited eyes.</p>
-
-<p>To add to the agitation of my thoughts, Sara Cresswell chose to take
-that day for one of her odd visits. She came in the afternoon to stay
-with me till evening. She was clearly quite beyond her father’s control;
-not even subject to a wholesome restriction of hours and meal-times; for
-she never said her father was out to dinner on the occasions of her
-coming, nor accounted in any way for her liberty at his dinner-hour. The
-little brougham used to come for her at night, and her little maid in
-it&mdash;a sign, I suppose, that the father did not disapprove; but that was
-all. Only wilful as she was, I confess I had grown to like her very
-much. I sometimes lectured her; and once or twice we quarrelled; but she
-always came back next time just the same as ever. So quarrelling with
-her was evidently useless. I must say I had a very strange sensation in
-welcoming her to-day. Could she know her father’s base purposes about
-the Park which, according to all appearances, ought to be mine? Could
-she have been paying her court to those ladies with the hope of
-supplanting the true heir? A glance at her face, only too frank and
-daring always, might have<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_203" id="page_203"></a>{203}</span> undeceived me; but of course, I was bucklered
-up in my own thoughts, and could see nothing else.</p>
-
-<p>“You are ill,” said Sara, “or you are worried; or ’tis I have done
-something. If I have, I don’t mind; that is to say, I am very sorry, of
-course, and I will never do it again. But if you think you will get rid
-of me by looking glum, you are sadly mistaken. I shan’t go. If you won’t
-have me for a friend, I shall come for a servant, and fight it out with
-Lizzie. Lizzie, will you have me for ‘a neebor?’ Ah, I’m learning
-Scotch.”</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, that’s no Scotch!” cried Lizzie; “ye dinna ken what it is. I’m,
-maybe, no that good at learning folk now, for I have to speak English
-mysel’.”</p>
-
-<p>“And Italian, Lizzie!” cried Sara, clapping her hands, and forgetting
-all about my “glum” face.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie’s elbows and ankles fell almost immediately, and the most
-extraordinary blush rose on the girl’s face. “Eh, but it’s funny to hear
-<i>twa</i> speaking’t,” cried Lizzie, evading the subject eagerly. The truth
-is, she had got overmuch involved in the delightful excitement of the
-new language, and in consequence of the ludicrous fascination of the
-dictionary, by means of which Domenico and she conducted their
-conversations, had come to like the society of that worthy. When I found
-him escorting my child-maid and the baby out-of-doors, I thought it was
-time to remonstrate on the subject; and my remonstrance had woke a
-certain womanly consciousness in the awkward-sensitive girlish bosom of
-Lizzie. She was overwhelmed with shame.</p>
-
-<p>Fortunately, the mention of the “twa” diverted Sara’s thoughts. She had
-never ceased to be interested in Mr. Luigi, and I saw a world of
-questions in her eye immediately. I hurried her downstairs, not feeling
-able, really, for random talk; and troubled, more than I could express,
-to think how disappointed Harry would be when he came home full of one
-subject, expecting to talk it over with me, and found me occupied
-entertaining a stranger,&mdash;a stranger, too, who had something to do with
-it, who was our rival, and plotting against us, all unaware of who we
-were.</p>
-
-<p>However, as it happened, one of the first things Sara’s eye lighted upon
-when we entered the room, was that old drawing of poor papa’s, which lay
-on the table. She was the quickest creature imaginable. She had it in
-her hand before I knew what she was about. Her exclamation made me start
-and tremble as if I had been found out in something.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_204" id="page_204"></a>{204}</span> Here was another
-witness giving evidence freely, without any wish or contrivance of mine.</p>
-
-<p>“Why, here is the Park!” cried Sara, “actually the very house! Where, in
-all the world, did you get it? Have you been there? Do you know them?
-Why, I thought you were quite strangers to Chester! I never knew
-anything so odd. Who did it? It is frightfully bad, to be sure, but a
-staring likeness. Dear Mrs. Langham, where did you get this?”</p>
-
-<p>“I got it out of an old book,” said I, with a guilty faltering which I
-could not quite conceal. “What Park is it? where is it? I do not know
-the place.”</p>
-
-<p>But I am sure if ever anybody looked guilty and the possessor of an
-uncomfortable secret, it was me at that moment. I turned away from Sara,
-putting away that envelope with the certificates which Harry (how
-careless!) had also left on the table. I am sure she must have felt
-there was something odd in my voice.</p>
-
-<p>“What Park? why, <i>the</i> Park, to be sure. Everybody in Chester knows the
-Park; and here is an inscription, I declare!” she cried, running with it
-to the window. “Oh, look here; do look here! It must have been some old
-lover of godmamma Sarah’s. I never saw anything so funny in my life.
-‘Sarah as I saw her last.’ Oh, Mrs. Langham! do come and look at this
-comical, delightful thing! Isn’t it famous? She’s as old&mdash;as old as any
-one’s grandmother. Who could it be? who could it possibly be?”</p>
-
-<p>“Did you say your godmother?” said I. This was another novel
-aggravation. Of course I had heard Sara speak of her godmothers; but,
-somehow, I had not identified them with the ladies who were expected to
-make her their heir.</p>
-
-<p>But Sara was too much excited and delighted, and full of glee and
-ridicule, to answer me. She kept dancing about and clapping her hands
-over the drawing; always returning to it, and indulging in criticisms as
-free and as depreciatory as Harry’s had been. It was getting dark, and I
-confess I was very glad to sit down a little in the half light, and
-repose myself as well as I could while she was thus engaged and wanted
-no attention from me. Just then, however, I heard Harry’s foot coming
-upstairs, and, to my great wonder and almost alarm, somebody else
-entered with Harry. I could scarcely see him as I rose to receive my
-husband’s companion. Somebody else, however, saw<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_205" id="page_205"></a>{205}</span> him quicker than I
-did. In a moment Sara had dropped into the shadow of the curtains, and
-became perfectly silent. An inconceivable kind of sympathy with her (it
-could be nothing but mesmerism) somehow cleared up the twilight in a
-moment, and made me aware who the stranger was. It was Domenico’s
-master, Mr. Luigi, the Italian gentleman downstairs.</p>
-
-<p>I cannot tell how the first preliminaries were got over. Of all times in
-the world to make acquaintance with anybody, think of the twilight, just
-before the candles came in, and when you could scarcely make out even
-the most familiar face! We got on somehow, however; we <i>three</i>&mdash;Sara
-sitting all the time dropt down, and nestling like a bird among the
-curtains, struck into the most unaccountable silence. I suppose she
-thought nobody saw her; whereas, on the contrary, Mr. Luigi, looking out
-of the darkness where he was sitting towards the window, saw the outline
-of her pretty head against a bit of green-blue sky as distinct as
-possible; and looked at it too, as I can testify.</p>
-
-<p>When candles came at last (Mrs. Goldsworthy had a lamp; but it smoked,
-and the chimney broke, and all sorts of things happened to it), after
-the first dazzled moment we all looked at each other. Then Sara became
-clearly visible, and was forced out of her corner to let the blind be
-drawn down. She came forward to the light at once, with just the least
-bravado in her manner, ashamed of hiding herself. She had still the
-drawing in her hand.</p>
-
-<p>“Mr. Langham,” said Sara, “do you know this wonderful drawing? I never
-was so amused and amazed in my life. Do you know it’s the Park? and my
-godmamma Sarah when she was a young lady and a great beauty. To think
-you should find it accidentally! And it must have been one of her old
-lovers who did it. Oh, please give it to me, and let me show it her. She
-would be pleased. She would soon find out whose it was.”</p>
-
-<p>Here Mr. Luigi, who had taken up one of those old books of my father’s,
-which Harry in his carelessness had left upon the table, uttered a very
-brief instantly suppressed exclamation. I wonder what <i>he</i> could have
-discovered! It was the copy of Racine, which I have before mentioned as
-among papa’s books, on which was written the name of Sarah Mortimer.
-Sarah Mortimer! Here were we all strangers, or almost strangers, to each
-other, all apparently startled by the sound and sight of this name. What
-could the Italian have to do with Sarah<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_206" id="page_206"></a>{206}</span> Mortimer? she who broke poor
-papa’s heart, and whom we had found out so suddenly to-day?</p>
-
-<p>“This lady?” said Mr. Luigi, holding up the book to me with a slight
-tremulousness, “Madame will not think me impertinent; does she live?”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed,” said I, with a shiver of agitation, “I cannot tell. I do not
-know anything about her; her name on that book and the drawing is all we
-know. I think she is a ghost. Do you too know her name? Sara, tell us,
-for pity’s sake, who is this Sarah Mortimer of the Park?”</p>
-
-<p>Sara stared at the book with still greater amazement than she had shown
-at the drawing. “She is my godmamma,” said the girl, in a disturbed,
-amazed tone. “She is Miss Mortimer of the Park. Since you all know her
-name, you all know that certainly. How is it you know her? why did you
-not tell me? Is there any mystery? it all seems very strange to me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then it is that lady,” exclaimed Mr. Luigi&mdash;“it is that lady I did meet
-in the village.”</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Sara, recovering herself in a moment; “you met my other
-godmamma, her sister. She told me she had met you. May I ask if you
-found the lady in Manchester? Godmamma was very much interested and
-anxious to know. Did you find her? have you heard where she is to be
-found?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Luigi looked at the book once more; then closed it down firmly with
-his hand; then gazed a little anxiously in Sara’s face. “Have I found
-the lady?” he repeated like an echo. “Mademoiselle, I do not know.”</p>
-
-<p>Then the Italian, as if with an instinctive motion, laid his other hand
-over the book, and clasped them both upon it as though to hold something
-fast. Then to my amazement and to Sara’s&mdash;but to something more than
-amazement on Sara’s part&mdash;something very much like pique and offence&mdash;he
-turned towards Harry and began to talk on indifferent matters. I had
-noticed a half-weary, half-impatient sigh escape him as he laid his
-hands over that book; but he showed no other symptom of emotion. The
-next moment he was talking in very good English, slightly, very
-slightly, broken with now and then a foreign idiom, something about
-public affairs. I confess I felt disappointed as well as Sara. He had
-recognised that name; somehow it was familiar to him; and his
-enigmatical answer had naturally stimulated our curiosity. He left us
-behind him staring and wondering, when he suddenly glided from the brink
-of some revelation to those quiet remarks upon English politics. Harry,
-full of his share of the common<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_207" id="page_207"></a>{207}</span> excitement, did not enter into it with
-half so much heart as Mr. Luigi. Harry blundered and was awkward, his
-thoughts being elsewhere. Mr. Luigi was quite undisturbed and at his
-ease. Sara scarcely spoke again while he remained; she did all but turn
-her back upon him; she showed her pique quite clearly enough to catch
-the quick eye of the Italian. Altogether he did not stay very long,
-thinking us, I daresay, rather an uncomfortable party; and Harry,
-disappointed, as I had expected, not to find me alone, and be able to
-hold a comfortable consultation, went downstairs with him to smoke a
-cigar.</p>
-
-<p>“Now they are gone,” cried Sara; “now the man in the iron mask has left
-us. I wonder if that is what one would call a romantic Italian? ah! I’d
-rather have fat Domenico. Now they’re gone, do tell me, once for all,
-what is godmamma Sarah to you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Nothing in the world that I know of,” said I, faltering a little; “we
-have only that drawing and her name in the old book.”</p>
-
-<p>“I know there is something between her and <i>him</i>,” said Sara, returning,
-to my great dismay to the other books on the table; “she knows about
-him, or he knows about her, or something. You know she was a long time
-abroad. What funny old books! Was it among those you found the drawing?
-But, stop, here is another Mortimer&mdash;Richard A. Mortimer&mdash;who is he?
-Papa has been their agent for centuries, and I have known them all my
-life, but I never heard of a Richard Mortimer. Do tell me, who was he?”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed, it is all very odd,” cried I, really fluttered out of my
-self-possession. “I wonder what will come of it? It is very strange and
-bewildering. Richard Mortimer was my father.”</p>
-
-<p>“Then you are a relation!” cried Sara; “you must be a relation, there
-are so few Mortimers; and your father must have been her lover. Are you
-sure, are you quite sure? Why, <i>your</i> name must be Mortimer too! and
-Milly! Mr. Langham calls you Milly&mdash;Milly Mortimer! Oh, dear, dear! I
-never can get to the Park to tell them to-night, and how shall I contain
-myself till to-morrow? I knew there must be something that made me love
-you so much at first sight. To be sure, that explains everything. Milly
-Mortimer! oh, you dear, pretty, good, delightful Mrs. Langham! I am so
-glad, so happy! They are my godmothers, and so to be sure we are
-relations too!”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_208" id="page_208"></a>{208}</span></p>
-
-<p>Upon which Sara threw her arms round me in a wild, rapid embrace. I was
-so very much shaken and disturbed with all that had happened, that I
-could scarcely bear this last. I remember using all my remaining power
-to convince her that the relationship was by no means certain still, and
-that it was not to be communicated to the ladies at the Park without
-further assurance. Sara, however, only overpowered me with caresses and
-exclamations. She entirely upset all the remaining strength I had. She
-kept us from that consultation which Harry and I were both so much
-longing for. She left us at last in terror lest we should be brought
-into immediate contact with those unknown relatives. This day of great
-news, excitement, and perplexity, was, I think, the most exhausted,
-uncomfortable day I ever met with in all my life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_209" id="page_209"></a>{209}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IX-d" id="Chapter_IX-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IX.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“I</span><span class="smcap">T</span> is the oddest business altogether that I had ever anything to do
-with,” said Harry, next morning; “one cannot tell what step to take
-first. My own idea, of course, is to call on this old Cresswell and get
-it all out of him. He evidently is the man who knows.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, but, Harry, if he is one of those scheming lawyers,” said I, “why
-should he go and betray his clients for people whom he never heard of
-before? and, besides, it would be impossible to tell him how we got
-information about it, for you could not speak of the advertisement
-without ruining poor Mr. Ward.”</p>
-
-<p>“Milly, I may be sorry enough for your poor Mr. Ward, but I am more
-interested a great deal in your rights,” said Harry; “besides, if
-everything came true we could make it up to him. I see nothing for it
-but going to old Cresswell. He will be glad&mdash;since he did think of an
-advertisement&mdash;to have such a rod of terror to hold over the heads of
-his old ladies; at all events we shall know what it is. It might come to
-nothing after all,” said Harry, with a little sigh, “and there is
-nothing more injurious than to be kept uncertain. Why, to tell the
-truth, I feel extravagant this morning: I got up with the feeling. I
-should like to go and ruin myself in accordance with the sentiment of
-the moment. If it’s all true, why should we be economical?&mdash;your
-grandfather’s red brick house on one side, and this Park on the other.
-We’re lucky people, Milly. I’ll either go and see old Cresswell and have
-it out with him, or I’ll go and throw away every shilling I have.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, Harry, give it to me,” I said, holding out my hands; “but I don’t
-believe you have any money, so it doesn’t matter. Only&mdash;just wait a
-little, please; don’t let us do things hastily. Think of thrusting our
-claims suddenly upon two old ladies who perhaps have enjoyed it all
-their life. Only think of us two, young and happy, disturbing the lives
-of two old people who are not so fortunate as we are! Not to-day; let us
-try to get other proof first. Try if Mr. Pendleton knows anything&mdash;write
-to Haworth again. At least, don’t let us be hasty; a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_210" id="page_210"></a>{210}</span> day or two cannot
-matter; and I don’t trust this Mr. Cresswell,” cried I, with some
-vehemence. “He cannot be honest, or he would not have done such a
-thing.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry laughed at my earnestness. He said lawyer-villains had gone out of
-fashion, and that there were no Mr. Gammons now-a-days. The truth is, we
-had both been reading novels since we came to Chester, and I am not at
-all sure that Harry was as sceptical about Mr. Gammon as he professed to
-be. But, to my consolation, he went out without any definite purpose of
-beginning his proceedings. “I daresay old Cresswell is an old humbug,”
-said Harry. “I’ll see whether there is not some other old fellow about
-who is up to everybody’s genealogy; surely there ought to be some such
-person about the Cathedral. And I’ll write to Pendleton, Milly. To be
-sure, there is nothing to hurry us. ‘Let us take time, that we may be
-done the sooner.’ I’ll do nothing desperate to-day.”</p>
-
-<p>When he was gone I felt a little sense of relief. I sat long in the same
-chair, with the table still littered with the breakfast things,
-neglecting my duties and even baby. He had been brought downstairs
-before Harry went out, and was now sitting at my feet on the carpet,
-playing with my work-basket, which much contented him. I did not observe
-the havoc that was taking place, but sat still in a tumult of thoughts
-which I could not describe. I suppose nobody ever did come to a sudden
-knowledge&mdash;or even fancy&mdash;that they might be found out heirs of a great
-estate without feeling fluttered. I was half afraid of the thought, yet
-it had a strange, vague, bewildering exhilaration in it. Sometimes a
-trembling shadow would cross my mind of my old spectre; but it had faded
-again to-day into the agitation of surprised and trembling hopes. One
-does not always feel the same even about one’s own terrors. And, upon
-the whole, I felt raised into a kind of general elevation, thrust up
-above myself into another region, capable of being kinder, more liberal
-and magnanimous than I had ever felt before. I suppose it must have been
-the same feeling which Harry had when he said he felt extravagant. I
-could have emptied my purse to a beggar, I believe,&mdash;at least I could
-have found it in my heart to give him sixpence instead of a penny,&mdash;to
-such an extent had this vague, exhilarating <i>rich</i> feeling carried me
-away.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie looked a little mysterious when I called her at last. She was
-bursting with something to tell; and when I addressed some ordinary
-question to her, her news broke forth suddenly without any introduction.
-“Eh, the gentleman’s awa’ again,” cried Lizzie, “and he thinks she maun
-be found or heard tell<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_211" id="page_211"></a>{211}</span> o’&mdash;he thinks there <i>maun</i> be word of her. The
-gentleman’s awa’ back where he was, to bring something he left, and
-‘Menico says, as sure’s death she maun be found.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who must be found?”</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, mem, it’s the leddy! They came a’ this gate, ower the hills and the
-seas, to find a leddy. I canna just understand wha she is,” said Lizzie,
-“but she’s some freend; and ‘Menico’s clear she maun be found now, and
-he’s dancing like to bring down the house for joy.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you don’t look very joyful, Lizzie; what is the matter?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie made a desperate effort to restrain herself, but, failing, burst
-into violent tears. “Eh, he’s written me a letter!” cried the girl,
-sobbing; and then, with much fumbling, eyes blind with tears, and a face
-all glowing with shame, the letter came forth from the bosom of Lizzie’s
-dress, and was thrust into my hand.</p>
-
-<p>Alas for my self-congratulations over Lizzie’s childish age! Fourteen,
-after all, it appeared, was no safeguard. But I was as much amused as
-troubled when I undid Domenico’s letter. It was written on odd thin
-paper, in a very tolerable hand; it was addressed to <i>the</i> Elizabeth
-Bain, and its contents were as follows:</p>
-
-<div class="blockquot"><p>“To the my little good Lessee.</p>
-
-<p>“You be good child; if the lady yours will, I take you to the
-theatre after to-morrow, for gratitude. To me you show of bounty, I
-to you of thanks. There be grand sight at the theatre which will
-please to you. Show the Signora yours this letter mine, and ask if
-permission. It will much please to me to make festa for my little
-good Lessee. There be none word in English for festa, for because
-the English not know to make it.</p>
-
-<p class="r">
-“<span class="smcap">Domenico.</span>”<br />
-</p></div>
-
-<p>“But, Lizzie,” cried I, in surprise, “there is nothing in this to cry
-about. He only means to be kind, poor fellow. There is not a word in all
-this that sounds like&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Love-making, I was about to have said, but paused, partly in respect for
-the innocence of the girl, and partly ashamed of myself for my
-instinctive suspicion that flirtation was inevitable when “a foreigner,”
-however fat, was in the case. Lizzy had wiped her eyes and was looking
-at me wistfully, quite ready to sob again.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, it’s no him,” cried Lizzie; “he’s a papist, puir man,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_212" id="page_212"></a>{212}</span> and he
-doesna ken ony better. But oh, mem, it’s me&mdash;me that was weel brought
-up, and learned the catechism and ay gaed to the kirk; and what will I
-do? what will I do?”</p>
-
-<p>“For pity’s sake, Lizzie, tell me what is the matter?” cried I, really
-alarmed.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie burst into tears once more. She wiped her eyes with her apron,
-with hot and humid hands; then, casting a pathetic glance at me from
-under the drapery, sobbed forth the dreadful confession, “Oh, mem!
-though I think burning shame, and ken it’s dreadful, I canna help it&mdash;I
-would like to gang!”</p>
-
-<p>This anti-climax was too much for my gravity, and Lizzie looked on with
-moist, uncomprehending eyes at the burst of laughter which I could not
-restrain. Poor Lizzie! I have no doubt she thought me very heartless
-neither to satisfy her guilty desires after such vanities, nor her
-scruples of conscience and violent shame at her own weakness. Baby,
-however, was more sympathetic. Seeing his beloved Lizzie in tears, a
-fellow-feeling made him scream in concert. <i>He</i> had to be consoled,
-though his nurse went away wistful, trembling lest I should consent, and
-lest I should not consent. But privately I confess I was very much
-relieved and not a little ashamed of myself. To think I should have
-suspected any absurd love-making between these two! I felt ready to go
-and ask poor Lizzie’s pardon. But why should not she go to the theatre
-and satisfy her mind? Domenico could not be less than twenty years older
-than herself. On the whole, this little episode quite increased the
-lightness of my spirits. The day was bright, the spring was every hour
-becoming more sweet, and as I sat there by myself with my child in the
-little back-room, noting the sunshine, which did not reach us, fall
-sweet upon the little walled-in gardens at the back, a sudden project
-which had already glanced through my mind, became feasible on the
-moment. Yes, I should do it. Lizzie and the baby, for a breath of
-country air, should go with me. By actual witness of my own eyes I would
-identify the Park.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_213" id="page_213"></a>{213}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_X-d" id="Chapter_X-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter X.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> next day Harry had duties of one sort and another, which would
-completely occupy his time. He had not found any student of genealogy
-who could tell him all about the Mortimers of the Park; but he had heard
-of one, and, between that and his duty, was full engaged both in person
-and thoughts. A better opportunity could not be. I told him I thought of
-taking a long walk into the country with Lizzie and baby this beautiful
-day; and, except a warning not to go too far and weary myself, Harry had
-nothing to say against my intention. I may say, however, that in the
-meantime, having consulted with him on the subject, I had plunged
-Lizzie’s mind into the most dread commotion of terror, delight, and
-curiosity, by consenting to Domenico’s proposal, only adding Mrs.
-Goldsworthy to the party, to make all right.</p>
-
-<p>And it was true that Mr. Luigi had disappeared again; he was only to be
-three days gone, Domenico assured us, holding up three of his fingers.
-“Tree sola, tree only,” repeated the fat fellow once more, blocking up
-the passage as of old; and once more, with that inimitable wheel and
-elastic step of his, opening the door before any one could approach it.
-I could not help wondering to myself whether the Italian gentleman was
-likely to leave Chester before we did; certainly the loss of Domenico
-would make quite a difference in the house. I had not thought quite so
-much as I might have been supposed to have done about this Italian
-gentleman. He too had recognised the name of Sarah Mortimer as having
-some influence on his fate. He had left early next morning, as if acting
-upon the knowledge he had gained, whatever that might be. It was very
-strange; afterwards, of course, I came to lay everything together, and
-wonder at myself that I had not seen how things were tending. But at the
-moment I was full of my own thoughts; they seemed so very much more
-important to me just then than anything else. I dismissed Mr. Luigi with
-just half a thought of surprise and curiosity; I dare say Sara Cresswell
-had thought more of him. And Sara had not come to me through all that
-long intervening day. Could she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_214" id="page_214"></a>{214}</span> have gone to the Park to tell the news?
-would they acknowledge or pretend to disown us? That was a question far
-more interesting to me than all the Italians in the world.</p>
-
-<p>The private object of my expedition, however, was one I was truly
-ashamed to mention to anybody; but, for all that, it had taken a great
-hold upon myself. I have said I had been reading novels; and the very
-last one we had from the library was “Ten Thousand a Year.” It struck
-upon my mind even at the very moment when poor Mr. Ward had told me
-first. Those dear, good, delightful, fine, superfine Aubreys! to think
-of all their sufferings, the poor dear superlative people&mdash;how
-dreadfully they felt it to have only a <i>maid</i> waiting at table! Oh me!
-and only to think that here might we ourselves be bringing about such
-another calamity! Of course you may think it was very fantastical. I do
-confess that the dreadful downfall of having only a <i>maid</i> to wait,
-seemed to me, at first sight, the most <i>fine</i> distress I had ever heard
-of; but it took a hold upon my mind all the same; I could not help
-imagining to myself the other side of the picture. It was very pleasant
-to think of falling heirs to a great estate, and being lifted in a
-moment from poverty into great wealth; but who were those two pathetic
-figures turning away from the closed door of the house which had been
-their home so long, mournfully settling down in their new straitened
-quarters, breaking up all the habits of their lives, missing somehow in
-an unspoken way, that it would be ludicrous to express in words, but was
-far from ludicrous to feel, all the grander circumstances of their life?
-Ah! that was quite a different question. I thought I could see them
-sighing over their contracted rooms, their fallen state&mdash;not speaking,
-falling silent rather, life going out and ebbing away from them. I saw
-the two pale old lofty faces, the pride, the submission, the deep sense
-of downfall concealed in their hearts, and I felt myself stopped short
-in my way. Those ineffable Aubreys, those figures painted on velvet,
-those dear porcelain creatures, with their exquisite troubles, had an
-effect upon my imagination, even though I might venture to smile at them
-sometimes. Superfine people, to be sure, must have superfine
-afflictions; and to think of being a Tittlebat Titmouse, and driving out
-such angels from their paradise into the cold-hearted, unsympathetic
-world, that cared no more whether they had a six-foot footman and a
-carriage, than it cared about myself, a subaltern’s poor wife, driving
-out of Chester in an omnibus! So this was the real cause of my journey.
-I went remorsefully, thinking all the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_215" id="page_215"></a>{215}</span> way how Mrs. Aubrey swooned at
-all emergencies. I wonder, when they heard the dreadful power we had
-over them, would Miss Sarah and Miss Milly swoon in each other’s arms? I
-could see them going about, stricken silent, afraid to look at each
-other; and it would be all <i>our</i> doing. Remorseful to my very heart, I
-went to visit their village and ask about them, and see the house if I
-could. Perhaps some arrangement might be made, after all, to prevent any
-loss to these poor dear old ladies. I felt as if I could have done
-anything for them, my heart was so compunctious and repentant of the
-power we had to do them harm. I am not sure my great magnanimousness did
-not have a root in what Harry called <i>feeling extravagant</i>, as well as
-in “Ten Thousand a Year.”</p>
-
-<p>We went out a considerable part of the way in an omnibus, and then
-walked. After a good long walk through a nice country, we saw a pretty
-common a little way before us: I call it pretty because some parts of it
-were very unequal and broken, having gorse bushes, with here and there a
-golden honey-bud among the prickles. To get to the common, we crossed
-over a very clean, nicely kept piece of road, straight and smooth,
-leading down to the village from the gates of a great house. The house
-was too far off to make it out, but I felt my heart beat a little,
-knowing, from the description I had got, that it could be no other than
-the Park.</p>
-
-<p>I left Lizzie and her charge seated on the soft grass of the common,
-where baby, who had never before known anything so delightful, began to
-pluck at the crowflowers with his fat hands; and went down into the
-village to buy them some biscuits. I confess I felt very guilty. Going
-anywhere all by myself confused me, not being accustomed to it; but I
-was not an innocent stranger here; I was a spy in my rival’s kingdom; I
-was a Bolingbroke pretending to acknowledge the sway of the existing
-sovereign: I was going to traffic with his subjects and tamper with
-them. If the village authorities had found me out, and held a
-court-martial and hanged me on the spot, I think I should have
-acknowledged the justice of their decision. I was a spy.</p>
-
-<p>It was a nice village&mdash;a nice, well cared-for, tidy, yet not too
-picturesque or unnatural village; looking as if the richer people about
-were friendly and sensible, not interfering too much, but keeping up a
-due reverence and influence. Some tall bushes of broom were actually
-bursting into yellow streaks over the garden palings&mdash;not wall&mdash;of a
-house standing back a little, which I found out to be the Rectory. It
-must have been<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_216" id="page_216"></a>{216}</span> very sheltered and warm, for it was still only April.
-However, though I was full of curiosity, my mind was not sufficiently
-disengaged to carry away a clear picture of the village; and when the
-women looked out from the doors at me with an instinct that a stranger
-was passing, I felt more guilty than ever. I made my way accordingly to
-the baker’s as fast as I could, and got some dark-complexioned ponderous
-buns there, which I felt sure would rouse Lizzie’s national sense of
-superiority to great triumph. Then I made a tremulous excuse of wanting
-some biscuits besides, and so got a little time to bring forward the
-questions I had prepared.</p>
-
-<p>“Who is it that lives in the great house at the other end of the
-village?” said I hypocritically, pointing with my finger towards the
-Park.</p>
-
-<p>“Who is it?” said the baker’s wife, leaning on her counter with a
-certain contempt and admiration of my ignorance; “law bless you, ma’am,
-you don’t know this place, seemingly. Them’s the Miss Mortimers, the
-oldest family in Cheshire. They’re as well known as the Queen about
-here.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am a stranger,” said I hurriedly. “Are they ladies&mdash;I mean are they
-young ladies? were there no sons?”</p>
-
-<p>The baker’s wife leaned back upon a sack of flour, and laughed. “Miss
-Milly’s godmoother to half the village,” she said; “she’s none that
-young, she’s isn’t. No, there wasn’t no son. I’ve heard my mother say
-there was once talk of making Miss Mortimer an ouldest son like, but it
-couldn’t be done. They’re cooheiresses, that’s what it’s ca’ed&mdash;I’ve
-seen it written down myself&mdash;cooheiresses of the late Lewis Esquire;
-that’s the name it goes by; and as they ain’t married it’s no harm.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did they succeed their father, then?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“And that they did,” cried the woman, “and their father’s father, and
-grandfather, and great-grandfather, as far back as I don’t know when;
-they’re no mushroom folks, the folks in the Park.”</p>
-
-<p>I felt very much puzzled and perplexed; how could my father, then, have
-anything to do with it? It was very strange.</p>
-
-<p>“But I suppose the lands were entailed, then, or something of that sort.
-Was there never another heir that claimed? I think you must be wrong,”
-said I, betraying myself in my wonder and haste.</p>
-
-<p>The baker’s wife opened her eyes wide and stared; then laughed out
-rather scornfully&mdash;politeness is not the first rule either of life or
-speech in Cheshire.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_217" id="page_217"></a>{217}</span></p>
-
-<p>“I’ve lived here in the village all my life,” she said; “if I don’t
-know, I’d like to hear who should. Nay, nay, there never was a dream of
-another heir; they’re surer nor most folks are the Miss Mortimers. There
-ain’t scarce one living belonging to them to get it when they’re gone. I
-tell you what it is, it’s a mistake. You’re thinking on Eden Hall.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!” said I, “perhaps! I am a stranger here.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sure you’re strange,” said the baker’s wife; “any one in the village
-could tell that. Ne’er a one asked such questions o’ me&mdash;nor any
-questions at all, but the price of bread, and how the crops are to be,
-except that Frenchman with the moustache. You’re not belonging to him,
-are you? You’re English by your speech.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh yes, I’m English,” cried I, not without a vague momentary vision of
-the village court-martial, and being hung up for a spy. “I will take my
-change, please.”</p>
-
-<p>And I took my change, and went away with quickened steps but changed
-feelings. I had not the heart to speak to anybody else. I passed old
-women at the doors, who, no doubt, could have told something about it;
-but I did not venture to make any more inquiries. I was completely lost
-in perplexity. The undisputed representatives of a race, the heirs of
-father, grandfather, and great-grandfather to unknown antiquity&mdash;what
-could be urged against their possession? I was startled into sudden
-doubt of the whole matter. What if it were all a deception? The very
-pathway swam and twisted under my eyes. When I reached the common, and
-threw myself wearily on the grass beside little Harry and his maid, I
-felt quite a different person from her who had left them there. I gave
-Lizzie the coarse buns, but I did not listen to the comments which came
-as I knew they would. I was far too much bewildered and shaken out of my
-fancies to be amused. After I had rested awhile, I got up, and, taking
-them with me, went up, rather faltering, to the gates of the Park. A
-little lodge, half hidden among evergreen bushes, was at the gate. I
-went forward, Lizzie following me close, to ask if we might be permitted
-to look at the house.</p>
-
-<p>But, just as I was going up to the door, I was accosted by a lady who
-came hurriedly forward by a side-path. She held out her hand to stop us
-before she came up, and full of fanciful alarm as I was, I stopped,
-startled, with again the sensation of having been found out. She was
-middle-sized and stout, with a plump, handsome figure and sensible, kind
-face&mdash;very sensible, very kind, not brilliant at all; and, I think, with
-as much<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_218" id="page_218"></a>{218}</span> perplexed thought and anxiety upon it, as there was on mine.</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t go into the lodge with the baby, please,” she cried, as soon as
-she was near; “the little girl has the hooping-cough. It’s always best
-to keep out of the way of danger. If I can tell you what you want, shall
-be very glad. I see you’re a stranger; or if you want to see Mrs.
-Williams, send away the baby, please. Hooping-cough’s very catching, and
-it’s hard upon such a young child.”</p>
-
-<p>This voice and this speech completely overpowered me. I could not doubt
-for a moment that this was one of the Miss Mortimers. I was no longer a
-mere spy; I was an unnatural traitor. I motioned Lizzie with my hand to
-go away, but stood still speechless myself, the tears rising to my eyes.
-The lady stood waiting to see what I wanted, but discovering my
-distress, as some people can, came a little closer to me. “Are you ill?
-can I help you in anything?” she said, looking very pitifully and kindly
-into my wet eyes.</p>
-
-<p>“No, thank you. I was going to ask if I might look at the Park; but I
-must make haste after baby,” I cried. I had the impulse to curtsey to
-her as children do; for anything I know I did it. The only thing that I
-am certain of is, that as fast as my feet would carry me, I hastened
-away.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_219" id="page_219"></a>{219}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XI-d" id="Chapter_XI-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span><span class="smcap">E</span> were able to get the same omnibus going home, which I was very glad
-of, for the strange defeat I had received made me feel doubly weary with
-the walk, which, after all, had not been a very long one. There was only
-one person in this omnibus, which was not a town omnibus, you know, but
-one which went between Chester and an important village, seven or eight
-miles off. He was an elderly man, very well dressed in black, with a
-white cravat. To tell the plain truth, I took him for a dissenting
-preacher by his dress; and as he looked very serious and respectable,
-and was very polite in helping us to get in, we had some little
-conversation after a while. When he saw me look at the houses we passed
-with an appearance of interest, he told me the names of them, or who
-they belonged to. He was exceedingly polite and deferential, so polite
-that he called me ma’am, which sounded odd; but I could only suppose he
-was an old-fashioned person and liked such antiquated ways of
-expression. I confess a suspicion of his real condition never crossed my
-mind. But he evidently knew everybody, and after a while my prevailing
-idea woke up again.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know,” said I, with a little hesitation, “the family at the
-Park&mdash;the Miss Mortimers? I should very much like to hear something
-about them.”</p>
-
-<p>“There’s nobody I know better, ma’am,” said our companion with a slight
-look of surprise; “I’ve been with&mdash;that is, I’ve known ’em this fifty
-years.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, then will you please tell me how they succeeded?” said I; “how did
-they come into the estate?”</p>
-
-<p>“How they succeeded?” said the stranger, with a certain slow wonder and
-amazement; “why, ma’am, in the natural way, after their father as was
-Squire before them.”</p>
-
-<p>Here I could not help thinking to myself that the dissenting clergy must
-be dreadfully uneducated, if this were one of them.</p>
-
-<p>“But was there never any gap in the succession?” said I; “has it been in
-a straight line? has there been no break lately&mdash;no branch of the family
-passed over?”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_220" id="page_220"></a>{220}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Bless you, ma’am, you don’t know the Mortimers,” said our friend;
-“there’s never enough of them to make branches of the family. There was
-a second cousin the young ladies had a many years ago, but I never heard
-of no more of them, and he was distant like, and had no more thoughts of
-succession than I had. If that gen’lman was alive or had a family,
-things might be different now.”</p>
-
-<p>“How do you mean things might be different now?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“The ladies, ma’am, has never married,” said the man, who certainly
-could not be more than a Methodist local preacher at the utmost, “and,
-in the course of nature, there can’t be no natural heir.”</p>
-
-<p>This view of the subject, however, was one totally unsatisfactory to me.
-“Are you sure,” said I, “that there never was any other heir spoken
-of&mdash;that there never was any story about the succession&mdash;that there was
-never anybody to dispute it with the Miss Mortimers? I thought I had
-heard some such story about&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, you’re thinking, ma’am, of Eden Hall, just the next property,” said
-he.</p>
-
-<p>“But was there never any claimant to the Park?” asked I, somewhat
-excited.</p>
-
-<p>“No such thing,” said the man in black, “nor couldn’t be. Bless you, the
-family’s well known. There never was so much as a will-case, as I ever
-heard on; for why, you see, ma’am, there never was such a plenty of
-children to make quarrels. When there’s but two or so, there’s little
-can come of quarrelling. No, no! there never was no strange claimant to
-our estate.”</p>
-
-<p>“To <i>your</i> estate, did you say?” cried I, in amazement.</p>
-
-<p>“No, ma’am, no&mdash;no such presumption. I said <i>our</i>, and sure I might;
-I’ve been with the ladies this fifty year.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!” I exclaimed, much dismayed. This was certainly coming to the very
-head-quarters for information. This was no local preacher after all, but
-only the Miss Mortimers’ majordomo. If there had been any possible
-excuse for it, I should certainly have got out of the omnibus
-immediately, so utterly confounded and taken aback did I feel. But as we
-were still some two miles out of Chester, and we were all tired, and
-baby cross and sleepy, I had to think better of it. However, in my
-consternation I fell into instant silence, and felt really afraid of
-meeting the man’s eye. He sat opposite me, beside Lizzie, very
-respectful and quiet, and by no means obtruding himself upon my notice.
-I cannot tell how shocked and affronted and angry<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_221" id="page_221"></a>{221}</span> I felt with myself. I
-had, I suppose, like most people of my condition, a sort of horror of
-men-servants, a sort of resentful humiliation in feeling that I had
-mistaken one of that class for an ordinary fellow-traveller, a
-frightened idea of what Harry would think to hear of his wife sitting in
-an omnibus beside Miss Mortimer’s man. Altogether I was sadly
-discomfited and beaten. The Miss Mortimers had got the better of me at
-every hand; and I was entirely humiliated and cast down by this last
-blow of all.</p>
-
-<p>The interval was quite tedious and oppressive till we arrived in
-Chester. Seeing me look at another house unconsciously as we passed, the
-man, most kindly and good-humouredly, I am sure, after my sudden
-withdrawal from the conversation, mentioned its name. “That is
-Dee-sands, ma’am, the mayor o’ Chester’s place. It ain’t within sight of
-the Dee, and there’s none of them sands near here, but they do say it’s
-named after a song,” said the good-natured cicerone. “Oh!” said I again,
-shrinking back into my corner. He looked at me rather closely after
-this, muttering something that sounded like “No offence!” and leaned
-back also, a little affronted. It did not occur to me that I was only
-drawing his attention to what I had said before by this sudden reserve.
-I took care to show no more interest in the wayside villas, and sprang
-out with a great sense of relief when we reached the end of our journey.
-Happening to glance back when I had reached our own door, I saw that the
-omnibus had been delayed by numerous descents from the roof, and was
-still standing where we had left it, and that Miss Mortimer’s man had
-put his head out of one of the windows, and was watching where I went
-to. This circumstance made me enter with great haste and trepidation.
-Now, above all, I had been found out; and if ever any one felt like a
-traitor and a spy, it was surely me, stumbling back from that
-unsuccessful enterprise across the threshold of Mrs. Goldsworthy’s
-house.</p>
-
-<p>The door was opened to us too alertly to be done by anybody but
-Domenico; and it was Domenico accordingly, in his vast expanse of shirt
-sleeves. It was quite a comfort to see his beaming, unconscious face.
-“The time is fine,” said Domenico; “it pleases to the signora to make
-promenade? Ah, bravo! the piccolo signore grow like tree.”</p>
-
-<p>This was in reference to baby, who crowed at him and held out his arms,
-and whom Domenico freely called piccolo and piccolino, at first somewhat
-to my indignation; but I confess the good fellow’s voice and looks, and
-the way baby stretched<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_222" id="page_222"></a>{222}</span> out to him, out of poor Lizzie’s tired arms, was
-quite consolatory and refreshing to me. It is easy to get a feeling of
-home to a place, surely. It was only lodgings, and Domenico was a
-foreigner, and I had not the ghost of an early association with the
-little insignificant house; but I cannot tell you what a sense of ease
-and protection came upon me the very moment I was within the door.</p>
-
-<p>Upstairs on the table lay a letter. We got so few letters that I was
-surprised, and took it up immediately, and with still greater surprise
-found it to be from Sara Cresswell, lamenting over not having found me,
-wondering where I could have gone, and concluding with a solemn
-invitation to dinner in her father’s name. “Papa is so anxious to see
-Mr. Langham and you,” wrote Sara, “and to talk over things. I have been
-obliged to obey him for once, and not to go or write out to dear
-godmamma till he has seen you. If you don’t come he will be so
-dreadfully disappointed; indeed, I am quite sure if you don’t come <i>he
-will go to see you</i>. I can’t suppose you will be able to resist such a
-threat as that. Send me a word, please, directly. I shall be quite
-wretched till I know.”</p>
-
-<p>This revived all my excitement, as may be supposed; there <i>must</i> be
-something in it after all, and surely, instead of Harry going to his
-office to seek him, it would be much better to meet at his house, and
-with an evening’s leisure too; for Sara had taken care to add that
-nobody else was to be there. The earnestness of this invitation seemed
-so entirely contradictory to all that I had heard to-day, that the
-wildest vague suspicions of mystery began to break upon my mind. To be
-sure, bakers and butlers were not likely to be in the secret. Mr.
-Cresswell knew all about it; and here was he seeking us entirely of his
-own accord! Once more all my dazzled ambitious dreams came back again; I
-forgot my failure and sense of treachery&mdash;I was no traitor&mdash;it was only
-my rights that I had been thinking of; and they were not pathetic
-possible victims, but triumphant usurpers, who now had possession of the
-Park.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_223" id="page_223"></a>{223}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XII-d" id="Chapter_XII-d"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">HAD</span> managed to regain my spirits entirely before Harry returned: if
-anything, indeed, I think this revival of all my fancies, after my
-disappointment and annoyance, had stimulated me more than before. It was
-a beautiful April evening, quite warm and summer-like, and there had
-just been such a sunset, visible out of the front windows, as would have
-gone far at any time to reconcile me to things in general. I was sitting
-in the little drawing-room alone, with baby Harry in my lap, much
-delighted to find that he could stand by my side for half a minute all
-by himself, and rewarding him with kisses for the exhibition of that
-accomplishment. I was tired after my long walk, and felt it delicious
-rest to lean back in that chair and watch the light gradually fading out
-of the sky, free to think my own thoughts, yet always with the sweet
-accompaniment of baby’s inarticulate little syllables, and touches of
-his soft small fingers. I remember that moment like a moment detached
-out of my life. My heart had rebounded higher out of its despondency.
-Who could tell what a bright future that might be on the very brink of
-which we trembled? And I, whom Harry had married so foolishly, it was I
-who was to bring this wealth to my husband and my child. It was pleasant
-thinking in that stir of hope, in that calm of evening, sitting
-listening for Harry’s step on the stair. The light grew less and less in
-the two front windows, and the open door of communication between the
-two rooms brought in a long line of grey luminous sky from the east into
-my twilight picture. And I had so much to tell Harry. Ah, there at last
-was his foot upon the stair!</p>
-
-<p>He came in, not to the room in which I was, but to the other, and gave a
-glance round to see if I was there; then, not seeing me, instead of
-calling out for “Milly darling,” as he always did, Harry threw his cap
-on the table, and dropped heavily into a chair, with a long sigh&mdash;a
-strange sigh, half relieved, half impatient&mdash;the sigh of something on
-his mind. I can see the half-open door, the long gleam of the eastern
-window, the scarcely visible figure dropped into that chair&mdash;I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_224" id="page_224"></a>{224}</span> can see
-them all as clearly as at that moment. I stumbled up unawares, gathered
-baby into my arms I cannot tell how, and was at his side in a moment. My
-own voice sounded foreign to my ears as I cried out, “Harry, what is it?
-tell me!” Nothing else would come from my lips.</p>
-
-<p>He rose too&mdash;the attitude of rest was not possible at such a time; he
-came and held the child and me close to him, making me lean on him. “It
-is nothing more than we expected,” he said, “Milly darling. It is only
-to have a heart&mdash;you are a soldier’s wife.”</p>
-
-<p>I knew without any more words. I stood within his arm, silent,
-desperate, holding my dear frightened baby tight, too tight. Ah, God
-help us! In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, as the Bible says, out
-of the happiest flutter of hope into that cold, desperate, hopeless
-darkness. I could have fancied I was standing on a battlefield, with the
-cold, cold wind blowing over us. I made no outcry or appeal; my heart
-only leaped with a start of agony at the worst, at the last conclusion.
-We were not within his sheltering arm&mdash;he young, and strong, and
-safe&mdash;but looking for him&mdash;looking for him on that black, dead
-battlefield!</p>
-
-<p>I don’t think it was the cry of the child, whom he took softly out of my
-straining arms, but Harry’s compassion that roused me. I cried out
-sharply, “Don’t pity me, Harry; I’ll bear it.” It was all I could say. I
-went out of his arm with agitated, hurried step, and shut out that cruel
-clear sky looking down upon the battlefield I saw. I did not think nor
-notice that this unseasonable action threw us into perfect darkness. It
-was a kind of physical relief to me to do something with my hands, to
-ring some common sound into my ears. At this moment Lizzie came into the
-room, carrying lights. As I lifted my confused eyes to them, what a
-ghastly change had passed on this room&mdash;all so cold, dark, miserable;
-the furniture thrust about out of its place; the fireplace dark, and
-Harry standing there, with the child in his arms and his cap thrown on
-the table, as if this very moment he was going away. He was in uniform
-too, and the light caught in the glitter of his sword. Was there to be
-no interval? My head swam round. My heart seemed to stop beating. The
-misery of imagination drove me half frantic&mdash;as if the present real
-misery had not been enough.</p>
-
-<p>After a while we sat together once more as usual, he trying to bring me
-to talk about it and receive it like a common event. “It is what we have
-looked forward to for months,” said<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_225" id="page_225"></a>{225}</span> Harry; “it should not be strange to
-you now. Think how you looked for it, Milly darling, long ago.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said I. Was it likely I could talk? I only rocked myself backward
-and forward in my chair.</p>
-
-<p>“You said God would give you strength when the hour came: the hour has
-come, Milly. You are a soldier’s wife!” he said.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes, yes!” and then I burst into an attempt to tell him what I had been
-doing&mdash;if I must talk let me talk of something else than this&mdash;and broke
-down, and fell, God help me! to crying and sobbing like a child; which
-was how the good Lord gave me the power of bearing what He had sent. I
-got better after that; I heard and listened to it all, every detail,
-when they would have to go, where they would sail from,&mdash;everything. And
-then I grew to see by degrees that Harry, but for me, was not sorry to
-be sent to the war; that his eye was brightening, his head raised erect.
-Oh me! he was a soldier; and I&mdash;I was only a foolish creature that could
-not follow him or be with him, that could not come between him and those
-bullets, that could only stay at home and pray.</p>
-
-<p>But when he came and stroked my hair down with his hand, and soothed me
-like a child, and bent over me with such compassion in his face&mdash;sorry
-for me, full of pity in his affectionate tender heart for the poor girl
-he was leaving behind&mdash;that was more than I could bear. With a dreadful
-pang I thought it was his widow he saw, all lonely and desolate, with no
-one to comfort her; and I, his wife, thrust him away, and defied that
-dreadful killing thought. No! <i>I</i> might leap at the worst, because I
-could not help my hurrying, blind imagination; but he should not, no one
-else should&mdash;I was resolute of that. So we talked of all the things that
-were needful for his preparation; and he spoke of expense and economy,
-and I laughed and scorned his talk. Economy! expense! Perhaps I did not
-know, could not think where it was to come from; but where careless
-money can get everything, do you think careful love would fall far
-short? I took courage to laugh at his words.</p>
-
-<p>And then I told him all my day’s trials, and that invitation for the
-next day, which, even after what had happened, we must still accept. We
-did not have baby downstairs again that night&mdash;I dared not&mdash;courage will
-go so far, but not further. I went upstairs to put him into his little
-bed, and was glad, God help me! to be out of Harry’s sight for half an
-hour. But still<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_226" id="page_226"></a>{226}</span> I was not free; Lizzie was about me, gliding here and
-there with her inquisitive sharp eyes&mdash;sharp eyes all the sharper for
-tears, praying and threatening me with her looks. Nobody would believe
-in my courage. They thought I should break down and die. Oh me! if one
-could die when one pleased, one might sometimes make short work of it;
-God does not give us that coward’s refuge. When I was all alone in my
-own room, I took an old regimental sash of Harry’s and bound it round me
-tight. I cannot tell why I did it; I think it was in my fancy somehow to
-bind up my heart, that it should neither yield nor fail.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_227" id="page_227"></a>{227}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="PART_V" id="PART_V"></a>PART V.<br /><br />
-THE LADIES AT THE HALL.<br />
-<small>(<i>Continued</i>)</small></h2>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_I-e" id="Chapter_I-e"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">S</span><span class="smcap">OME</span> weeks of quietness passed over us after these dreadful
-half-revelations which really disclosed nothing. I will not attempt to
-give you any explanation of my state of mind; I don’t think I could if I
-tried. I had ceased to think of insanity in respect to my sister Sarah;
-she was not insane&mdash;no such thing. That scrap of conversation I had
-overheard in her dressing-room overturned all my delusions. Some real
-thing, some real person, had power to drive her half mad with anxiety
-and fear. What she could be anxious about&mdash;what she could be afraid
-of&mdash;she who had lived in the deadest peace at home for nearly
-five-and-twenty years&mdash;was to me an inscrutable mystery. But that this
-Italian stranger was no stranger&mdash;that his name was given him after the
-name of my father&mdash;that love, supposed by Carson to be love in the
-heart, and admitted by Sarah to be love for the estate, had suggested
-that name&mdash;were facts not to be doubted. I need not say anything about
-the long trains of agitated and confused thinking into which these
-discoveries betrayed me. They ended in nothing&mdash;they could not end in
-anything. But for a kind of determination I had, to keep up stedfastly
-till some light came, and see the end of it, I don’t doubt they would
-have made me ill. But I kept well in spite of them. Either our bodies
-are not so sensitive as they are said to be, or I am a very stupid
-person, which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_228" id="page_228"></a>{228}</span> I wouldn’t deny if I was taxed with it; for certainly
-many things that worry other people don’t trouble me very much. However,
-let the reason be what it might, I kept up. I could not take any
-comfort, as Sarah did, in knowing this young man had gone away. I can’t
-tell how she could have blinded herself, poor soul. <i>I</i> knew he would
-come back. She did not seem to think so; yet surely she knew all about
-it far better than I did. What a strange blank, unexplainable mystery it
-was! Judging by appearances, the young man could not be much more than
-born when she returned home. Yet <i>she knew him</i>. Incomprehensible, wild,
-mad idea, of which, even after all I had heard, my reason denied the
-possibility! <i>She knew him!</i> and what or who, except herself, could
-explain it?</p>
-
-<p>The only conclusion I could come to in all my pondering was one that had
-glanced into my mind before, that my father had married abroad and had a
-son, whom Sarah had somehow stormed or threatened him into disowning.
-But then my father was&mdash;I grieve to say it, but one must tell the
-truth&mdash;a man who considered his own will and pleasure much more than
-anything else in the world; and I don’t think it would have broken his
-heart to have turned us out of our heiress-honours, especially when we
-grew old and did not marry. And to have left a male heir behind him! It
-was a very unlikely story, to be sure; but certainly Sarah and he were
-never friends after their return. They avoided each other, though they
-lived under the same roof. They treated each other with a kind of
-ceremonious politeness, more like mutual dislike than love. Dear, dear,
-to think in a quiet English family how such a dark secret could rise and
-grow! I set to hunting up all my father’s letters, not those he had
-written to me at home, for he never wrote except when he was obliged,
-but his own letters which he had left behind him. I could find nothing
-there that threw the slightest light upon the mystery. And then, if he
-was my father’s son, what could the young Italian mean by seeking after
-this fabulous lady? What had the Countess <i>Sermoneta</i> to do with it? On
-the whole, anybody will see that I ended my investigations and
-reasonings just where I began them. I knew nothing about it&mdash;I could
-discover nothing. I had only to wait for the storm that was
-returning&mdash;that must return. And if&mdash;oh, dear, to think of such a
-thing!&mdash;if it was the miserable wealth we had, that prompted Sarah to
-set her face against this stranger&mdash;if it were to keep possession of the
-estate from him who was its lawful owner, thank Heaven! we were
-co-heiresses. She thought she could do as she pleased with the Park, and
-I dare<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_229" id="page_229"></a>{229}</span> say, in right and lawful things, I might have yielded to her;
-but I hope Millicent Mortimer was never the woman to keep what did not
-belong to her. If he had a title to the estate&mdash;Heaven knows how he
-could&mdash;I gave up trying to imagine;&mdash;but if he had, without either
-resistance or struggle he should have my share.</p>
-
-<p>I really could not tell how much time had passed from that day when Sara
-Cresswell left us. It was near the end of April, so I suppose it must
-have been about two months after, when the accident I am going to tell
-happened. One afternoon when I was in the shrubbery I saw a young lady
-coming up towards the gate, a young creature, pretty and
-fair-complexioned, not tall, but very compact and orderly in her looks,
-with the air of being a handy, cheerful little woman, and good for most
-things she required to do. That was how she struck me, at all events. I
-dare say many people would have said she was just a very pretty girl,
-evidently sobered down by an early marriage, for she had an odd
-nursemaid by her side, carrying a beautiful baby. This stranger caught
-her attention very much as I watched her through the tall evergreen
-bushes. There was no mystery about <i>her</i>, certainly. I took a liking for
-her all of a sudden. Somehow it flashed into my mind that if I had ever
-been so young and as happy I might have been just such a young woman
-myself. I don’t mean so pretty, but the same kind of creature. She was
-not rich, it was clear, for the nursemaid was not much more than a
-child, an odd, awkward-looking girl; and though the young mother herself
-was sufficiently well-dressed, her things had that indescribable
-home-made look which one always recognises. She was a little heated with
-walking, and had some very grave wrinkles of care, thoughtfulness, and
-even anxiety, upon her pretty smooth forehead. I saw her aiming straight
-at the door of the lodge, and hastened out to warn her off. She was
-certainly a stranger, and could never know that the hooping-cough was in
-the house. She took my warning very oddly, looked at me with great
-curiosity and with tears&mdash;I am sure I saw them coming into her eyes&mdash;and
-then, with some half-explanation about wishing to see the Park, hurried
-away after her lovely little boy. I don’t know how long I stood, like a
-fool, looking after them, with a great desire to call her back and ask
-her in to see the house. Very likely she had come out from Chester to
-give her baby a country walk. Pretty young soul! I had no more doubt she
-was a good little wife than that she was a pretty creature, and very
-young to be that child’s mother. I daresay she was tired and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_230" id="page_230"></a>{230}</span> would have
-been much the better for a rest. But while I stood thinking of it, of
-course she was gone far out of the range of my voice. As for running
-after her, that was out of the question at my age; and perhaps, after
-all, it was as well not to bring that lovely baby near the lodge. Mary
-might have rushed out, and the mischief might have been done in a
-moment. As for hooping-cough itself, when children have good
-constitutions, I can’t say it is a thing I am very timid about; but it
-goes very hard with infants, and one could never excuse one’s-self for
-putting such a child in peril. So I went back to the house, though
-rather slowly. I can’t tell how it was, I am sure,&mdash;but I felt just as
-if I had missed a visit from a friend whom it would have been a great
-comfort to see.</p>
-
-<p>I might have forgotten this little incident altogether, but for
-something that happened afterwards. Ellis had to go into Chester that
-day&mdash;indeed, he had just left a few minutes before my pretty young
-stranger came up. When Ellis came back he took an opportunity of
-speaking privately to me&mdash;indeed, he asked me to step aside into the
-hall for a minute. How he found out that there was any uneasiness in my
-mind, or that any doubt about our right to the estate had ever occurred
-to me, I cannot tell; there are few things more wonderful than the kind
-of instinct by which servants divine the storms which may be only
-brooding about a house. Ellis looked very grave and important; but as he
-always does so, I was noways alarmed.</p>
-
-<p>“There was a young lady, ma’am,” said Ellis, “rode in the omnibus along
-with me this afternoon; well, not perhaps what you might call a <i>real</i>
-lady neither; leastways I don’t know&mdash;her looks was all in her favour;
-but ladies, as you know, ma’am, don’t go riding in an omnibus with bits
-of nursegirls and babies. But I don’t say she was one of your common
-sort.”</p>
-
-<p>“Why, it must have been that pretty young creature,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Well, ma’am,” said Ellis, actually with a little shame-facedness, “if
-you ask me my opinion, she was a pooty young creature, and so was the
-baby. But it ain’t what she looked, Miss Milly; it’s what she said. She
-asked as anxious as could be after the family at the Park.”</p>
-
-<p>“Did she know anything of us?” said I, quite delighted. “I wonder who
-she is; she quite took my heart.”</p>
-
-<p>“Not if you’d have heard her speak, ma’am,” said Ellis. “She asked, kind
-of curious like, how you came to succeed to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_231" id="page_231"></a>{231}</span> the estate, and whether
-there wasn’t no gap in the line, and if none o’ the family were ever
-passed over, and a deal of such questions. I told her it was Eden Hall
-she was thinking on, but she wasn’t satisfied. She said wasn’t there
-another claimant to the estate, and was I quite sure you was the right
-people and hadn’t passed over nobody? But the strangest thing of all
-was, as soon as I let out by accident I belonged to the Park, it was all
-over in a twinkling. Afore you could know where you was, from asking her
-questions and looking as anxious as you please, and her little veil up
-over her bonnet, and her face turned to you like a child&mdash;in a moment,
-ma’am, it was dead shut up and drawn back, and the veil down and face as
-if it didn’t see the place you was. I said to myself, ‘There’s summut in
-this,’ as soon as ever I seed the way she took me belonging to the Park;
-and, to be sure, all the way not another word. Seeing things like that,
-I made bold to look after her when she went out; and if you might chance
-to have any curiosity, Miss Milly, here’s a note of the address.”</p>
-
-<p>“But what should I have any curiosity about?” said I, agitated and
-surprised, taking the paper from him eagerly enough, yet quite at a loss
-to account for any interest I could have in his adventure. Ah! had it
-happened six months ago, how I should have laughed at Ellis! but it
-could not have happened six months ago. Ellis himself would have taken
-no notice whatever of such questions then.</p>
-
-<p>“Ma’am,” said Ellis, “the quality has their own ways; if <i>I</i> don’t know
-that, who should? I dare say it ain’t nothink to you; but it’s curious
-to have parties asking about the Park, as if we was a family as had
-romances; and being a pooty young creature, you see, Miss Milly, I
-thought it might be possible as you’d like to know.”</p>
-
-<p>“Very well, thank you, Ellis. I know you’re always careful about the
-interests of the family,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“I’ve been at the Park fifty year,” said Ellis, with his best butler’s
-bow. I gave him a nod, and went away to the library a great deal more
-disturbed than I would let him perceive, but I don’t undertake to say
-that he didn’t see it all the same. Here was just the very fuel to set
-my smouldering impatience into a blaze. A sudden impulse of doing
-something seized upon me like a kind of inspiration. Here was a new
-actor in the strange bewildering drama. Who was she? Could she be
-Luigi’s wife coming to aid him? As the thought struck me I trembled with
-impatience, standing at the window where it was too dark to read that
-address. I must wait for<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_232" id="page_232"></a>{232}</span> the morning, but certainly there was light out
-of darkness. However foolish it might be, I could bear it no longer.
-Here was a clue to guide my steps, and whether right or wrong, to-morrow
-I should plunge into the mystery. The idea took possession of me beyond
-all power of resistance. I walked about the library in the dark, quite
-excited and tremulous. The wind had risen, and the night was rather
-stormy, but I could not go into the comfort and light of that great
-drawing-room where Sarah sat knitting. To-morrow, perhaps, I should know
-the secret of her death in life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_233" id="page_233"></a>{233}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_II-e" id="Chapter_II-e"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">GOT</span> very little rest that night, and was up almost by break of day the
-next morning. In the height of my excitement and anxiety, I felt more
-comfort in my mind than I had done for a long time. Sitting waiting is
-dreadful work, but I felt myself again when there appeared anything to
-do. I would not allow myself to suppose that it would end in nothing.
-Such inquiries could not possibly be made without a motive. I was so
-restless that I scarcely could remain quietly at home for an hour or two
-after breakfast which, out of regard for appearances, I was obliged to
-sacrifice; but for the same reason I made up my mind not to take the
-carriage, but to walk to the point where the omnibus passed, and take my
-chance of finding a seat in it as other people did. I went out
-accordingly about eleven o’clock, and left a message for Sarah that I
-was going to make some calls, and that she was not to wait dinner for
-me, as <i>I</i> should probably lunch somewhere at a friend’s house. I saw
-Ellis look out after me from the hall window, with a kind of solemn grin
-on his face. Ellis was not to be deceived; he knew where I was going as
-well as I did myself.</p>
-
-<p>As I had intended, I got into the omnibus when it passed, to the great
-amazement and dismay of both guard and driver, who knew me well enough.
-I thought to myself, after I was in it, that it was perhaps rather a
-foolish thing to do. If any talk got abroad about our family, and if the
-strangers, male and female, kept making strange inquiries, and I was
-seen driving&mdash;no, that is not the word&mdash;<i>riding</i> in an omnibus, what
-would people think but that some extraordinary downfall had happened at
-the Park? There were only some countrywomen in the coach, who stared at
-me a little, but were too busy with their own affairs to mind me much.
-Fortunately there was no one there from our own village. It was a very
-long drive to Chester, going in the omnibus; and being unaccustomed to
-it, and never on the outlook for jolts, I felt it a good deal, I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_234" id="page_234"></a>{234}</span>
-confess, besides being just the least thing in the world in a false
-position. Not that I minded being seen in the omnibus, but because the
-guard knew me, and was troublesomely respectful, and directed the
-attention of the other passengers towards me. Great people, when they
-pretend to travel <i>incognito</i>, must find it a great bore, I should
-fancy. Of course somebody always betrays them, and it must be a great
-deal easier to bear what you can’t help bearing when there is no mystery
-about it, than when every blockhead thinks himself in your secret, and
-bound to keep up the joke with you.</p>
-
-<p>At last we came to the street, and I got down. It was near the railway
-station, and so all sorts of traffic poured past the place; shabby
-hackney cabs, omnibuses from the Chester hotels, vans of goods, all the
-miscellaneous stuff that pours into railway stations. The houses were a
-little back from the road, to be sure, with little “front gardens,” as
-the people call them. I walked past three or four times before I had
-screwed myself up to the point of going in. The thing that dissipated
-all my feelings of embarrassment in a moment, and brought me back to the
-eagerness and excitement with which I set out from home, was the sudden
-appearance of Mr. Luigi’s servant, the large, fat, good-humoured
-Italian, whom I have before mentioned, at the door of one of the houses.
-The sight of him flushed me at once into determination. I turned
-immediately to the house where he stood, and of course it was <i>the</i>
-house, the number which Ellis had written down on his paper; there could
-be no doubts on the subject now.</p>
-
-<p>“I wish to see your mistress,” said I, going up to the man, too
-breathless and eager to waste any words.</p>
-
-<p>He looked at me with good-humoured scrutiny, repeating “Meestress” with
-a puzzled tone; at last a kind of gay, half-flattered confusion came
-over his good-humoured face, he put his hand on his heart, made a
-deprecatory, remonstrating bow, and burst into some laughing mixture of
-Italian and English, equally unintelligible. The fellow actually
-supposed I meant his sweetheart, or pretended to suppose so. I became
-very angry. He did not look impertinent either; but you may fancy how
-one would feel, to be supposed capable of such a piece of levity at such
-a time. And a person of my condition, too! Happily, at this moment the
-nurse-girl whom I had seen with my pretty young stranger suddenly made
-her appearance with the baby in her arms. I appealed to her, and though
-she stared and made answer in words not much more intelligible to me
-than her fellow-servant’s, she showed me<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_235" id="page_235"></a>{235}</span> upstairs. She was going out
-with the beautiful baby, but one way and another I was so worried and
-uncomfortable, and felt so strongly the existence of those plots against
-us which I was now going to clear up, that I took no notice of the
-child. I said nothing at all but that I wanted to see her mistress, and
-walked into the little drawing room without thinking I might be going
-into the young stranger’s presence, possibly into the presence of both
-husband and wife. However, the moment I had entered I saw her; there she
-was. In my heat and annoyance I went up to her instantly.</p>
-
-<p>“Young lady,” said I, “you were in the neighbourhood of my house
-yesterday; you were in our village; I myself saw you approaching the
-Park. You put some very strange questions to my servant. You must know
-how harassed and disturbed I have been by inquiries I don’t know the
-meaning of. What is it all about? What claim has your husband upon the
-Mortimers? Who is he? What does he want with us?”</p>
-
-<p>I said this without pausing to take breath, for my encounter with the
-servant, I confess, had irritated me. Now, when I had said my say and
-come to myself, I looked at her and felt a little shocked. She was
-certainly changed since yesterday; but before I had time even to make a
-mental comment on this change, I was entirely confounded by the entrance
-of a new and unsuspected actor on the scene; <i>her husband!</i> evidently
-her husband; but as unlike Mr. Luigi as one handsome young man could be
-unlike another,&mdash;a bright, open-faced unmistakable Englishman, a young
-soldier. The sight of him struck me aghast. What new complication was
-this?</p>
-
-<p>“If there’s going to be any fighting, that’s <i>my</i> trade,” said the
-new-comer. “We’ll change places, Milly darling. Madam, my wife has a
-great many things to occupy her just now; let me answer for her, if that
-is possible. I think I know what she has been about.”</p>
-
-<p>Saying which, he wheeled the one easy chair in the room towards me, and
-invited me to sit down. I sat down with the feeling of having somehow
-deceived myself strangely and made a huge mistake. I could not make it
-out. Mr. Luigi’s servant was below, and this was certainly the young
-woman whom I had arrested on her way to the Park, and who had asked
-questions of Ellis in the omnibus. But who was this handsome young
-soldier? What had he to do with it? A cold tremble came over me that it
-was what the newspapers call a mistaken identity, and that somehow I had
-stumbled in,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_236" id="page_236"></a>{236}</span> after the rudest and most unauthorized fashion, into the
-privacy of two innocent young creatures who knew nothing about the Park.</p>
-
-<p>“Pardon me if I am wrong,” I said with a gasp; “I fear I must be wrong,
-only let me ask one question. Did you speak to a man in the omnibus
-yesterday about the Mortimers of the Park? or was it not you? I am sure
-I shall never forgive myself if I have made such a foolish mistake.”</p>
-
-<p>“But it is no mistake,” said the young wife, who had remained in the
-room, standing very near the half-opened door into the tiny apartment
-behind. Poor young soul! she was certainly changed in those twenty-four
-hours. I could scarcely resist an impulse that came upon me, to go up
-and take her in my arms, and ask the dear young creature what it was
-that ailed her. Depend upon it, whatever she might have asked about the
-Mortimers, that face meant no harm. I looked at her so closely, I was so
-much attracted by her, that I scarcely noticed, till she repeated it,
-what she said.</p>
-
-<p>“It is no mistake,” she said, growing firmer; “I did ask questions. I am
-sure you are Miss Mortimer&mdash;we will tell you how it was. Harry, you will
-tell Miss Mortimer all about it. I am a little&mdash;a little stupid to-day.
-I’ll go and fetch the books if you will tell Miss Mortimer how it was.”</p>
-
-<p>She went away quite simply and quietly. He stood looking after her with
-a compassionate, tender look, that went to my heart. He did not speak
-for a moment, and then he said, with a sigh, something that had nothing
-to do with my mystery. “We got marching orders for the Crimea
-yesterday,” said the dear simple-hearted young fellow, with the tears
-coming into his honest eyes. “It is very hard upon my poor Milly;” and
-he broke off with another sigh.</p>
-
-<p>If the two had come to me together the next moment, and disclosed a plan
-to turn us out of our estate or pull the house down over our heads, I
-could have hugged them in my arms all the same. God bless the dear
-children! whatever they had to tell, there was but one thing in their
-thoughts, and that was the parting that was coming. If I had been the
-hardest heart in the world, that spontaneous confidence must have melted
-me. As it was, I could hardly help crying over them in their anguish and
-happiness.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_237" id="page_237"></a>{237}</span> People are happy that have such anguishes. I could hardly
-help exclaiming out aloud, “I’ll take care of her!” and yet dear! to
-think of human short-sightedness! Had not I come all this way to find
-them out?</p>
-
-<p>She came back again a minute after, with some old books in her arms.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you told Miss Mortimer, Harry?” she asked, pausing with a little
-surprise to hear no conversation going on between us, and to see him
-leaning against the mantelshelf just as she had left him, with his hand
-over his eyes. Then she gave him a quick, affectionate, indignant
-glance&mdash;I might say petulant&mdash;and came up in her energetic way to the
-table, where she put down the books. “<i>I</i> will tell you, Miss Mortimer,”
-said the brave little woman. “We do not know very much ourselves, but
-perhaps when you hear our story you can make it plain better than we
-can. We found it out only by chance.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear,” said I, “do not call me Miss Mortimer; my eldest sister is
-Miss Mortimer. I am called Miss Milly; Millicent Mortimer is my name.”</p>
-
-<p>Here the young man broke in suddenly. “<i>Her</i> name was Millicent Mortimer
-too,” he cried. “Milly!&mdash;that is her name&mdash;I beg your pardon, Miss
-Mortimer; I think there is no name in the world equal to it. She’s
-Milly, named so at her father’s desire. Tell me, is she nearly related
-to you?”</p>
-
-<p>I was so astonished I rose up to my feet and stared at them both. To be
-sure, I had heard him call her Milly; but my thoughts had been so
-entirely drawn astray by Mr. Luigi, that I never thought of anything
-else. I stood perfectly thunderstruck, staring at them. “What are you
-telling me?” I cried. Really my mind was not in a condition to take in
-anything that might be said to me. She put the old books towards me one
-by one. I opened them, not knowing what I did. “Sarah Mortimer, the
-Park, 1810.” Heaven bless us! Sarah’s hand, no doubt about it; but who
-in the world was <i>she</i>?</p>
-
-<p>“Child, take pity on me!” I cried; “with one thing and another I am
-driven out of my wits. Tell me, for heaven’s sake, who was your father?
-Are you <i>that</i> Luigi’s sister? Who are you? Where did you come from? God
-help us! I don’t know what to think, or where to turn. Your father, who
-was he? What do you know about him? Were <i>you</i> born in Italy too? What
-is the truth of this wild, dreadful<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_238" id="page_238"></a>{238}</span> mystery? Sarah may know about it
-perhaps, but I know nothing, nothing! If you would not have me go out of
-my senses, child, tell me who you are, and who your father was.”</p>
-
-<p>They both gazed at me astonished. “She is Millicent Mortimer,” said her
-young husband, “the child of Richard Mortimer and Maria Connor; she was
-born in Ireland. Milly! Milly! the old lady is going to faint.”</p>
-
-<p>For I sank dead down in my chair, as was natural. I put my hands over my
-face. I fell a-crying and sobbing in that wonderful, blessed relief. If
-my worst suspicions had come true, I could have stood up and faced it.
-But my strength went from me in this delicious, unspeakable comfort.
-Richard Mortimer’s children! The heirs we were looking for! Oh dear! to
-think I could ever be so distrustful of the good Lord! This was what all
-the mystery had come to! I sat crying like a fool in my chair, the two
-looking on at me, thinking me crazy most likely&mdash;most likely wondering,
-in their innocent grieved hearts, at the old woman crying for nothing.
-How could they tell what a mountain-load of trouble they had taken off
-my head?</p>
-
-<p>“My dear,” cried I, when I could control myself enough, “if you are
-Richard Mortimer’s daughter you’re the nearest relation we have. You
-were to have been advertised for before now&mdash;we’ve been seeking you, or
-trying to seek you, everywhere. I knew there must be something made my
-heart warm to you so. My dear, we’re the last of the old race; there’s
-nobody but Richard Mortimer’s children to carry on the name. God help
-us! I am a silly old woman. I had taken dreadful fears into my head. Why
-didn’t you come and say it plain out, and turn all my anxiety and
-troubles into joy? Ah Milly, dear Milly Mortimer!&mdash;I could think you
-were my own child somehow&mdash;come and let me kiss you. I am not so weak as
-this usually, but I’m quite overcome to-day. Come here, child, and let
-me look at you. It’s pleasant to think there’s a young Mortimer in the
-world again.”</p>
-
-<p>I was so much engaged with my own feelings, that I did not notice how
-much the young people were taking it. When I did come to myself a
-little, they were standing rather irresolute, that pretty young Milly
-Mortimer looking at me in a kind of longing, reluctant way, either as if
-she could not take me at my word, or had something on her mind. As for
-her husband, he was looking at me too, but with a full eager look, which
-I understood in a moment; his lip trembling and swelling out a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_239" id="page_239"></a>{239}</span> little,
-his eyes full, his whole face telling its story. When he caught my eye
-he turned his look upon her, and then back to me again. Do you think I
-did not understand him? He said, “You will take care of my Milly?”
-clearer than he could have said it in a thousand words; and if my eyes
-were slow to answer him, you may be sure it was no fault of will or
-heart. Seeing she was shy to come to me, and recovering myself, I went
-to the new Milly and kissed her. I can’t tell what a pleasure I took in
-looking at her. She belonged to me&mdash;she was of our very own blood, come
-from the same old forefathers. I thought nothing strange that I loved
-her in a moment. It was not love at first sight, it was <i>natural
-affection</i>. That makes a vast difference. Even Sara Cresswell was not
-like a child of our own family. To think of another Milly Mortimer,
-pretty, and happy, and young! such a Milly as I might have been perhaps,
-but never was. I felt very happy in this child of my family. It was half
-as good as having a child of one’s own.</p>
-
-<p>Then they showed me some other books with poor Richard Mortimer’s name
-in them, and his drawing of the Park, and Sarah getting on her horse.
-Poor fellow! but I rather fear he could not have been any great things
-of a man. I felt quite easy and light at my heart; nothing seemed to
-frighten me. And the two young people even, in the little excitement,
-forgot their own trouble, which was a comfort to me.</p>
-
-<p>“But all this time, my dear,” said I, at length, “you have said nothing
-about your brother. How did he get to be Italian,&mdash;and what did he mean
-by asking about that lady&mdash;and why not come at once to the Park and say
-out who he was?”</p>
-
-<p>“My brother?” said the young wife, faltering; and gave a wondering look
-at me, and then turned round, with a habit she seemed to have, to
-consult her husband with her eyes; “my brother? I am afraid you have not
-understood. Harry is&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“I know what Harry is,” cried I; “don’t tell me about <i>him</i>. I mean your
-brother&mdash;your brother. Why, dear, dear child, don’t you understand? I
-met this man at the door of this very house&mdash;Mr. Luigi, you know as they
-call him; of course he must belong to you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Indeed,” said the new Milly, with very grave, concerned looks, “I never
-spoke to him but once in my life; we don’t know anything about him. I
-never had any brother; there were none but me.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_240" id="page_240"></a>{240}</span></p>
-
-<p>I don’t think I said anything at all in answer. I said nothing, so far
-as I know, for a long time after. I sat stupified, feeling my burden all
-the heavier because I had deluded myself into laying it off a little. Oh
-me! we had found the heirs that Sarah had thought so much about; but the
-cloud had not dissolved in this pleasant sunshine. Out of my
-extraordinary sense of relief, I fell into darker despondency than ever.
-He was not Milly Mortimer’s brother, nor anybody belonging to her. Who
-could he be?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_241" id="page_241"></a>{241}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_III-e" id="Chapter_III-e"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">DON’T</span> know very well how I got to Mr. Cresswell’s house. I did manage
-to get there somehow. I went listlessly through the old fashioned
-streets I knew so well, and turned down upon that serious old house with
-its brick front and rows of windows all covered with Venetian blinds. It
-met the morning sun full, and that was why the blinds were down; but it
-had a dismal effect upon me, as anything else would have had at that
-moment. I know how the rooms look inside when the blinds are down; it
-throws a chill into one’s heart that has known them put down for sadder
-reasons. I went into the house in the same listless way, like a person
-in a dream. Somehow I could not take any comfort in those dear young
-creatures I had just found out. Mr. Luigi, whom I had not found out,
-returned upon me like a nightmare. Was there no possible way in which
-this mystery could be discovered? What if I sought an interview with
-himself and put it to him fairly to tell me who he was? I went into Bob
-Cresswell’s drawing-room, where the windows were open and the sunshine
-slanting in through the Venetian blinds. It was rather dark, but a green
-pleasant darkness, the wind stirring the curtains, and now and then
-knocking the wood of the blinds softly against the woodwork of the
-window; a cheerful kind of gloom. Sara’s knick-knacks lay scattered
-about everywhere on the tables, and there were cushions, and ottomans,
-and screens, and fantastic pieces of ornamental work about, enough to
-have persuaded a stranger that Sara was the most industrious person in
-the world. The creature bought them all, you know, at fancy fairs and
-such absurd places. I am not sure that she ever took a needle in her
-fingers; but she said herself she had not the slightest intention of
-saving her poor papa’s money; and indeed it was very true.</p>
-
-<p>I was thankful to sit down by myself a little in the silence. Sara was
-out, it appeared, and I threw myself into an easy-chair, and actually
-felt the quietness and green-twilight look of the room, with just a
-touch of sunshine here and there upon the carpet near the windows, a
-comfort to me. Once again,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_242" id="page_242"></a>{242}</span> as you may suppose, I thought it all over;
-but into the confused crowd of my own thoughts, where Sarah, Carson, Mr.
-Luigi, his fat servant, my new-found Milly Mortimer, and all her
-belongings, kept swaying in and out and round about each other, there
-came gleams of the other people suggested by this room;&mdash;Mr. Cresswell
-trying to make some light out of the confusion, Sara darting about, a
-mischievous, bewildering little sprite, and even, by some strange
-incoherency of my imagination, Sara’s poor pretty young mother, dead
-seventeen years ago, flickering about it, with her melancholy young
-eyes. Poor sweet lonely creature! I remember her a bride in that very
-room, with Bob Cresswell who might almost have been her father, very
-fond, but not knowing a bit what to make of her; and then lying helpless
-on the sofa, and then fading away out of sight, and the place that had
-known her knowing her no more. Ah me! I wonder whether that is not the
-best way of getting an end put to all one’s riddles. If Sarah and I had
-died girls, we should have been girls for ever,&mdash;pleasant shadows always
-belonging to the old house. Now it would be different, very different.
-When we were gone, what story might be told about us? “In their time
-something dreadful occurred about the succession, proving that they had
-never any right to the estate;” or “the great lawsuit began between the
-heirs of a younger branch and a supposed son of Squire Lewis.” Dear!
-dear! Who could this young man be? and now here was our real relation,
-our pretty Milly Mortimer&mdash;our true heir, if we were the true heirs of
-the estate. Dare I let her believe herself the heir of the Park with
-this mystery hanging over all our heads? Poor dear child, she was
-thinking more about her husband’s marching orders than if a hundred
-Parks had been in her power. Trouble there, trouble here; everywhere
-trouble of one sort or another. I declare I felt very tired of it all,
-sitting in that cool shady drawing-room. I could turn nowhere without
-finding some aggravation. This is how life serves us, though it seems
-such a great thing to keep in life.</p>
-
-<p>“But, godmamma, how in all the world did you come here?” cried Sara
-Cresswell, springing upon me suddenly, before I had seen her come in,
-like a kitten as she was; “you who never come to Chester but in great
-state, to call upon people! It’s only one o’clock, and there’s no
-carriage about the streets, and you’ve got your old brown dress on. How
-<i>did</i> you get here?”</p>
-
-<p>“Never mind, child,” said I, a little sharply; “you take<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_243" id="page_243"></a>{243}</span> away my
-breath. Suppose you get me some lunch, and don’t ask any questions. I am
-going to stay all day, perhaps all night,” I said with a little
-desperation; “perhaps it’s the best thing I could do.”</p>
-
-<p>“Godmamma, something has happened!” cried Sara; and she came and knelt
-down on the stool at my feet, looking up in my face, with cheeks all
-crimsoned over, and eyes sparkling brighter than I had ever seen them.
-It was not anxiety but positive expectation that flushed the child’s
-face. I could not help thrusting her away from me with my hand, in the
-fulness of my heart.</p>
-
-<p>“Child!” cried I, “you are glad! you think something has happened to us,
-and it flushes you with pleasure. I did not expect as much from you!”</p>
-
-<p>Sara stumbled up to her feet, confused and affronted. She stood a moment
-irresolute, not sure, apparently, how to take it, or whether to show me
-to the full extent how angry and annoyed she was. However, I suppose she
-remembered that we were in her father’s house, and that I was her guest
-after a fashion; for she stammered some kind of apology. “You took me
-into your confidence before, and naturally I wanted to know,” cried the
-child, with half-subdued fury. She had never been taught how to manage
-her temper, and she could not do it when she tried.</p>
-
-<p>“You,” said I, “we are your godmothers, Sara, and have loved you all
-your life; but you want to know, just as if it were a story in a
-novel&mdash;though, for all you can tell, it may be something that involves
-our fortune, or our good name, or our life.”</p>
-
-<p>Now this was very foolish of me, and I confess it. It was not anger at
-Sara that made me say it&mdash;nothing of the sort. But I had come through a
-good deal, and my mind was so full that I could bear no more. It burst
-from me like something I could not retain, and after that I am ashamed
-to confess, I cried. It was merely the excitement and agitation of the
-day, so unusual to me, and coming after such a long strain of silent
-excitement as I had already come through.</p>
-
-<p>Sara stood before me confounded. She was quite unprepared for anything
-of this kind. She kept standing by me in a bewildered way, too much
-puzzled to say anything. At length she knelt down on the footstool and
-pressed my hand upon her little soft mouth. “Something dreadful has
-happened, godmamma?” said Sara, looking up at me wistfully. The poor
-child was really alarmed and full of anxiety now.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_244" id="page_244"></a>{244}</span></p>
-
-<p>“No, no,” said I, “nothing has happened at all. I am only too nervous
-and alarmed and unhappy to bear speaking to. I am not unhappy either.
-Sara, child, can’t you leave me by myself a little and order luncheon?
-I’ll tell you all about it then.”</p>
-
-<p>Sara got up immediately to do what I told her; but before she left me
-stole her arm round my neck and kissed me. “I have got a secret to tell
-you, godmamma; you’ll be so glad when you know,” whispered the creature
-in my ear. Glad! I suppose it would be some of her love affairs,&mdash;some
-deluded young man she was going to marry, perhaps. Well! so I might have
-been glad, in a manner, if it were a suitable match, and she had taken
-any other time to tell me; but you may fancy how much happiness I had to
-spare for anybody now.</p>
-
-<p>It may be imagined that my appetite was not very great in spite of my
-anxiety about luncheon, but I certainly was glad to have a glass of Mr.
-Cresswell’s nice Madeira after all my fatigue and exhaustion. Sara and I
-sat opposite to each other in the dining-room, where the blinds were
-down also, without saying much for some time. She was watching me I
-could see. There she sat very demure and a little anxious, in her velvet
-jacket, shaking her short curls, now and then, with an impatient kind of
-motion. I was glad to see that kitten have so much perception of the
-rights of hospitality; for she allowed me to take my time, and did not
-torture me with questions, so that I really got the good of this little
-interval, and was refreshed.</p>
-
-<p>“I ought to be very happy instead of being so nervous and
-uncomfortable,” cried I at last; “for only fancy, my dear child, who I
-have found. Do you remember when you were at the Park hearing your
-godmamma Sarah speak of an heir whom she wanted your papa to advertise
-for? Well, what do you think, Sara? I have actually found her! for she
-is not an heir but an heiress. What your godmamma Sarah will say when
-she hears it, I can’t think; for she has never been advertised for, you
-know. She has turned up ‘quite promiscuous,’ as Ellis says.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh!&mdash;so you know!” said Sara, in quite a disappointed tone; “and I
-thought I had such a secret for you. Well, of course, since you do know,
-it doesn’t matter; they’re coming here to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear, I know they are coming here to-night. They told me so; and
-your papa is to go over the whole, and make it all out how it is. Ah,
-dear me!” said I with a sigh, “if that were but all!”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_245" id="page_245"></a>{245}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Dear godmamma,” said Sara in her coaxing way, “are you not glad? I
-thought you would certainly be glad to find another Milly Mortimer; but
-you’ve got something on your mind.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, yes, I have something on my mind,” said I. “Sara, child, I don’t
-know what to do with myself. I must see this Mr. Luigi before I go
-home.”</p>
-
-<p>“You can’t, godmamma; he is not in Chester,” cried Sara, with a sudden
-blush. “As soon as he found out&mdash;the very next morning at least&mdash;he went
-away to fetch some things he had left behind.”</p>
-
-<p>“Found out what?”</p>
-
-<p>Sara put her hands together with a childish appealing motion. “Indeed, I
-do not know&mdash;indeed, dear godmamma, I do not know. If you think it wrong
-of me to have spoken to him, I am very sorry, but I can’t help it. I met
-him at Mrs. Langham’s, you know,&mdash;and he saw Sarah Mortimer written in
-her book. And the next morning he met me,&mdash;I mean I met him&mdash;we happened
-to meet in the street&mdash;and he told me he had found the clue he wanted,
-and was going to fetch some things he had put for safety in London&mdash;and
-I know he has not come back.”</p>
-
-<p>“How do you know he has not come back?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Sara thought I was thinking of her, and the child blushed and looked
-uneasy; I observed as much, but I did not till long afterwards connect
-it with Mr. Luigi. I was too impatient to know about himself.</p>
-
-<p>“Because I should have seen him,” said Sara, faltering. It did not come
-into my head to inquire why she was so sure she would have seen him. My
-thoughts were occupied about my own business. I groaned in my heart over
-her words. Not yet was I to discover this mystery. Not yet was I to
-clear my mind of the burden which surely, surely, I could not long go on
-bearing. <i>It</i> must come to an end, or me.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_246" id="page_246"></a>{246}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IV-e" id="Chapter_IV-e"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">A</span><span class="smcap">FTER</span> what Sara had told me I felt in great doubt as to what I should
-do. Staying in Chester, even for a night, was against my habits, and
-might make people talk. Ellis, of course, would be very wise over it
-among the servants, and the chances were that it might alarm Sarah; but
-at the same time I could not return there in the same state of
-uncertainty. I could not meet her face again, and see her going on with
-her knitting in that dreadful inhuman way. Having once broken out of my
-patience, it seemed to me quite impossible to return to it. I felt as if
-I could only go and make a scene with Sarah, and demand to know what it
-was, and be met by some cruel cold denial that she understood anything
-about it, which would, of course,&mdash;feeling sure that she understood it
-all, but having no sure ground on which I could contradict her,&mdash;put me
-half out of my senses. On the whole, staying in Chester all night could
-do no harm. If Ellis talked about it, and pretended that he knew quite
-well what I had gone about, I dare say it was no more than he had done
-already, and would be very well inclined to do again. One must always
-pay the penalty for having faithful old servants, and, really, if my
-absence frightened Sarah, so much the better. She ought not to be
-allowed to go on placidly congratulating herself on having shut out this
-poor young man. If we were wronging him, what a cruel, cruel, miserable
-thing it was of Sarah to be glad of having balked him and driven him
-away! It is dreadful to say such things of one’s own only sister, but
-one does get driven out of patience. Think of all I had come through,
-and the dreadful doubt hanging over me! I had kept very quiet for a long
-time and said nothing to nobody; but now that I had broken out, I fear I
-was in rather an unchristian state of mind.</p>
-
-<p>All that afternoon I kept quiet, and rested behind the green blinds in
-Mr. Cresswell’s half-lighted drawing-room. How Sara ever has got into
-the way of enduring that half light I can’t imagine; or rather I should
-say I don’t believe she uses this room at all, but has the back
-drawing-room, where the window is from which she could see down into the
-poor<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_247" id="page_247"></a>{247}</span> curate’s rooms, and watch his wife dressing the baby, as she told
-me long ago. You can see the street, too from an end window in that back
-drawing-room; perhaps that is how she would have known if Mr. Luigi had
-come back, for I am pretty sure, from the glimpses I had when the doors
-opened, that the blinds were not down <i>there</i>. She received her visitors
-in the back drawing-room that afternoon. I heard them come and go, with
-their dresses rustling about, and their fresh young voices. Of course I
-neither heard nor listened what they were talking of; but dear, to hear
-how eager the creatures were in their talk! as if it were anything of
-any consequence. I sat with that hum now and then coming to my ears,
-bewildering myself with my own fancies. If I could have read a book or a
-paper, or given my mind to anything else, it would have been a deal
-better for me; but my disorder of mind, you see, had come to a crisis,
-and I was obliged to let it take its way.</p>
-
-<p>It was not without a good deal of difficulty and embarrassment that Mr.
-Cresswell and I met. He was a little uncomfortable himself with the same
-feelings he had shown a spark of at the Park, and unduly anxious to let
-me see that he had lost no time in inquiring about the Langhams,&mdash;that
-was the name of the young people,&mdash;as soon as he heard of them, and had
-meant to come out to us next day and tell us the result. For my part, I
-was a great deal more embarrassed than he was. I could scarcely help
-letting him see that this new heiress was a very small part of my
-excitement and trouble; indeed, had no share in the trouble at all, for
-as much as I could give my mind to think of her, was pure pleasure; but
-at the same time my heart revolted from telling him my real difficulty.
-He, I dare say, had never once connected the young Italian, whom
-everybody in Chester knew something about, with us or our family; and I
-was so perfectly unable to say what it was I feared, that a shrewd
-precise man like Cresswell would have set it down at once merely as a
-woman’s fancy. At the same time, you know, I was quite unpractised in
-the art of concealing my thoughts. I betrayed to him, of course, a
-hundred times that I had something on my mind. I dare say he remembered
-from the time of our last interview that I looked to have something on
-my mind, and he made a great many very skilful efforts to draw it out.
-He talked of Sarah, with private appeals to me in the way of looks and
-cunning questions to open my mind about her; and, to tell the truth, it
-cost me a little self-denial, after we really got into conversation, not
-to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_248" id="page_248"></a>{248}</span> say something, and put his shrewdness on the scent. I dare say he
-might have worried out the secret somehow or another; but I did not
-commit myself. I kept my own counsel closely, to his great surprise. I
-could see he went away baffled when it was nearly time for dinner. And
-he was not at all pleased to be baffled either, or to think that I was
-too many for him. I felt sure now I should have to be doubly on my
-guard, for his pride was piqued to find it all out.</p>
-
-<p>I can’t tell anybody what a comfort it was to my heart when my new Milly
-Mortimer came. If the two had been very bright and elate about finding
-themselves heirs to a great estate I might have been disgusted, glad as
-I was to know about them; for, to be sure, one does not like one’s heirs
-to be <i>very</i> triumphant about wealth they can only have after one’s own
-death. But something more than houses or lands was in that young
-creature’s mind. She was wonderfully steady and cheerful, but never for
-a moment lost out of her eyes what was going to happen to her. It was
-not mere sympathy, you know, that made me know so well how she was
-feeling, for, to be sure, I never was in her circumstances nor anything
-like them; it was because I was her relation, and had a natural insight
-into her mind. I don’t believe Sara had the least perception of it. When
-we came upstairs after dinner, leaving that fine young soldier, whom
-really I felt quite proud of, with Mr. Cresswell, this came out
-wonderfully, and in a way that went to my heart. Sara, who was extremely
-affectionate to her, set her in an easy chair and brought her a
-footstool, and paid her all those caressing little attentions which such
-kittens can be so nice about when they please. “I am so glad you have
-come to know my godmamma just now,” said Sara, kissing her, “because she
-will know to comfort you when Mr. Langham goes away.”</p>
-
-<p>My Milly said nothing for a moment; she rather drew herself away from
-Sara’s kiss. She did not lean back, but sat upright in her chair, and
-put away the stool with her foot. “I am a soldier’s wife,” she said the
-next minute in the most unspeakable tone, with a kind of sob that did
-not sound, but only <i>showed</i>, in a silent heave of her breast. Ah, the
-dear child! have not soldiers’ wives a good call to be heroes too? I
-drew Sara away from her in a sort of passion; that velvet creature with
-her sympathy and her kisses, when the other was hanging on the edge of
-such a parting! If one could do nothing for the sweet soul, one might
-have the charity to leave her alone.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_249" id="page_249"></a>{249}</span></p>
-
-<p>But after a while I drew Milly into talking of herself, for I was
-naturally anxious to know all about her, and where she had been brought
-up, and how she had found out that she belonged to us. We all knew that
-young Langham and Mr. Cresswell were going over the papers that her
-husband had brought with him, and setting it all straight; but as I
-never had any doubt from the moment I saw those books of hers, I was
-much more anxious to know from Milly herself how she had spent her life.
-She told us with a little reserve about her Irish friends and her odd
-bringing up, and then how she had met with Harry. She told you all about
-that herself, I know, a great deal better than I could repeat it, and
-fuller, too, than she told us. But when she got fully into that story,
-she could not help forgetting herself and the present circumstances a
-little. Sara sat on a stool before her, with her hands clasped on her
-knees, devouring every word. Certainly Sara took a wonderful interest in
-it. I never saw her so entirely carried away by interest and sympathy.
-When Milly was done, the creature jumped up and defied me.</p>
-
-<p>“You couldn’t blame her; you couldn’t have the heart to blame her! It
-was just what she ought to have done!” cried Sara, with her face in such
-a commotion, all shining, and blushing, and dewy with tears. I was
-confounded by her earnest looks. It was very interesting, certainly, but
-there was nothing to transport her into such a little rapture as that.</p>
-
-<p>“Child, be quiet,” said I; “you are determined to do me some harm,
-surely. I don’t blame Milly. She thought she had nobody belonging to
-her, though she was mistaken there. My dear, you have one old woman
-belonging to you that will expect a great deal, I can tell you. I can
-feel somehow, as if it might have been me you were telling of, if I had
-ever been as pretty or as young&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Godmamma, such nonsense!” cried Sara; “you must have been as young
-once; and if you were not far prettier than godmamma Sarah, I will never
-believe my eyes!”</p>
-
-<p>“Your godmamma Sarah was a great beauty,” said I; “but that is nothing
-to the purpose. If I had ever been as young and as pretty as this Milly
-Mortimer, I might have fallen in with a Harry too, who knows? and it
-might not have been any the better for you, my dear child; so it’s just
-as well that things are as they are. But, all the same, I can’t help
-thinking that it might have been my story you’re telling. There’s a
-great deal in a name, whatever people may say. I shall think<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_250" id="page_250"></a>{250}</span> the second
-Milly is to go through all the things the first Milly only wondered
-about. I never had any life of my own to speak of. You have one already.
-I shall think I have got hold of that life, that always slipped through
-my fingers, when I see you going through with it. I shall never feel
-myself an odd person again.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! but life is not happiness,” burst from my poor Milly’s lips in
-spite of herself; then she hastily drew up again: “I mean it is not
-play,” she said, after a while.</p>
-
-<p>“If it were play, it would be for children; it is heavy work and sore,”
-cried I; “that much I know, you may be sure; but then there are words
-said, that one can never forget, about him that endureth to the end.”</p>
-
-<p>Such words were comfort to <i>me</i>; but not just to that young creature in
-the intolerable hope and anguish she had in her heart. She was not
-thinking of any end; I was foolish to say it; and after all I knew more
-of life than she did&mdash;far more! and knew very well it did not spring on
-by means of heartbreaking events like the parting she was thinking of,
-or joyful ones like the meeting again which already she had set all her
-heart and life on, but crept into days and days like the slow current it
-had been to me. Sara, however, as was natural, was impatient of this
-talk. I believe she had something on her mind too.</p>
-
-<p>“You do not blame your Milly, godmamma?” she cried, a little spitefully;
-“but I suppose you would blame any other poor girl; as if people were
-always to do what was told them, and like such people as they were
-ordered to like! You old people are often very cruel. Of course you
-would blame every one else in the world?”</p>
-
-<p>“I should certainly blame <i>you</i>,” cried I, “if you should venture to
-think you might deceive your good father, that never denied you anything
-in his life. You velvet creature, what do you know about it? You never
-had an unkind word said to you, nor the most foolish wish in your little
-perverse heart denied. If you were to do such a thing, I could find it
-in my heart to lock you up in a garret and give you bread and water. It
-would not be a simple-hearted young creature with every excuse in the
-world for her, but a little cheat and traitor, and unnatural little
-deceiver. There! you are a wicked creature, but you are not so bad as
-that. If you said it yourself I should not believe it of you!”</p>
-
-<p>But to my amazement the child stood aghast, too much dismayed,
-apparently, to be angry, and faltered out, “Believe<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_251" id="page_251"></a>{251}</span> what?” with her
-cheeks suddenly growing so pale that she frightened me. The next moment
-she had rushed into the back drawing-room, and from thence
-disappeared,&mdash;for I went to look after her,&mdash;fairly flying either from
-herself or me. I was entirely confounded. I could not tell what to make
-of it. Was little Sara in a mystery too?</p>
-
-<p>“If I am betraying Sara, I am very sorry,” said Milly, when I looked to
-her for sympathy; “but I fear, though they don’t know it themselves,
-that she and the Italian gentleman are thinking more of each other,
-perhaps, than they ought.”</p>
-
-<p>She had scarcely finished speaking when Sara returned, dauntless and
-defiant. “I rushed away to see whether your note had gone to godmamma
-Sarah,” said the daring creature, actually looking into my very eyes. “A
-sudden dreadful thought struck me that it had been forgotten. But it is
-all right, godmamma; and now I think we might have some tea.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_252" id="page_252"></a>{252}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_V-e" id="Chapter_V-e"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> gentlemen came upstairs looking very cheerful and friendly, so of
-course everything had been satisfactory in their conversation. After a
-little while Mr. Cresswell came to tell me all about it. He said the
-papers seemed all quite satisfactory, and he had no doubt Mrs. Langham
-was really Richard Mortimer’s daughter, the nearest, and indeed only
-relation, on the Mortimer side of the house, that we had in the world.</p>
-
-<p>“I have no doubt about it,” said I; “but I am very glad, all the same,
-to have it confirmed. Now, my dear child, you know that we belong to
-each other. My sister and I are, on your father’s side, the only
-relations you have in the world.”</p>
-
-<p>Milly turned round to receive the kiss I gave her, but trembled and
-looked as if she dared not lift her eyes to me. Somehow I believe that
-idea which brightened her husband, came like a cold shadow between her
-and me, the thought that I would take care of her when he was away. It
-was very unreasonable, to be sure; but, dear, dear, it was very natural!
-I did not quarrel with her for the impulse of her heart.</p>
-
-<p>“But softly, softly, my dear lady,” said Mr. Cresswell; “the papers all
-<i>seem</i> very satisfactory, I admit; but the ladies are always jumping at
-conclusions. I shall have to get my Irish correspondent to go over the
-whole matter, and test it, step by step. Not but that <i>I</i> am perfectly
-satisfied; but nobody can tell what may happen. A suit might arise, and
-some of these documents might be found to have a flaw in it. We must be
-cautious, very cautious, in all matters of succession.”</p>
-
-<p>“A suit! Why, wouldn’t Richard Mortimer, if he were alive, be
-heir-at-law? Who could raise a suit?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>I suppose he saw that there was some anxiety in my look which I did not
-express; and, to be sure, he owed me something for having thwarted and
-baffled him. “There is no calculating what mysterious claimant might
-appear,” said Mr. Cresswell, quite jauntily. “I heard somebody say, not
-very long ago, that all the romance now-a-days came through the hands
-of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_253" id="page_253"></a>{253}</span> conveyancers and attorneys. My dear lady, leave it to me; I
-understand my own business, never fear.”</p>
-
-<p>I felt as if a perfect fever possessed me for the moment. My pulse beat
-loud, and my ears rang and tingled. “What mysterious claimant could
-there be to the Park?” I cried. I betrayed myself. He saw in a moment
-that this was the dread that was on my mind.</p>
-
-<p>“Quite impossible to say. I know no loophole one could creep in
-through,” he said, with a little shrug of his shoulders and a pretended
-laugh. “But these things defy all probabilities. It is best to make
-everything safe for our young friends here.”</p>
-
-<p>Now this, I confess, nettled me exceedingly; for though we had taken so
-much notice of his daughter, and had lived so quietly for many years,
-neither Sarah nor I had ever given up the pretensions of the Mortimers
-to be one of the first families in the county. And to hear an attorney
-speaking of “our young friends here,” as if they were falling heirs to
-some old maiden lady’s little bit of property! I was very much
-exasperated.</p>
-
-<p>“It seems to me, Mr. Cresswell, that you make a little mistake,” said I.
-“Our family is not in such a position that its members could either be
-lost or found without attracting observation. In a different rank of
-life such things might happen; but the Mortimers, and all belonging to
-them, are too well known among English families, if I am not mistaken,
-to allow of <i>any</i> unknown connections turning up.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell immediately saw that he had gone too far, and he muttered
-a kind of apology and got out of it the best way he could. I drew back
-my chair a little, naturally indignant. But Cresswell, whose father and
-his father’s father had been the confidential agents of our family, who
-knew very well what we had been, and what we <i>were</i> whenever we chose to
-assert ourselves,&mdash;to think of him, a Chester attorney, patronising our
-heirs and successors! You may imagine I had a good right to be angry,
-and especially as I could see he was quite pluming himself on his
-cleverness in finding out what was in my mind. He thought it was a whim
-that had taken possession of me, no doubt,&mdash;a kind of monomania. I could
-even see, as he thought it all quietly over by himself over his cup of
-tea, what a smile came upon his face.</p>
-
-<p>Young Langham, however, just then contrived to gain my attention. He did
-it very carefully, watching his opportunities when Milly was not looking
-at him, or when he thought she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_254" id="page_254"></a>{254}</span> was not looking at him. “I am heartily
-glad to have found you out now, of all times,” said the young man.
-“Milly would not have gone to her relations in Ireland, and I have no
-relations. She will be very lonely when we are gone. Poor Milly! It is a
-hard life I have brought her into, and she so young.”</p>
-
-<p>“You are not much older yourself,” said I; “and if you children bring
-such trouble on yourselves, you must be all the braver to bear it. I
-doubt if she’d change with Sara Cresswell at this moment, or any other
-unmarried young creature in the world.”</p>
-
-<p>The young man looked up at me gratefully. “I can’t tell you how good she
-is,” he said, in his simplicity. “She never breaks down nor complains of
-anything. I don’t understand how she has saved and spared our little
-means and made them do; but she has, somehow. Now, though she’s pale
-with thinking of this&mdash;don’t you think she’s pale? but I forgot, you
-never saw her before&mdash;she has set all her mind upon my outfit, and will
-hear of nothing else. I wish it were true what the books say. I wish
-one’s young wife would content herself with thoughts of glory and
-honour; indeed, I wish one could do as much one’s self,” said the good
-young fellow, with a smile and sigh. “I fear I am only going, for
-instance, because I must go; and that I’ll cast many a look behind me on
-my Milly left alone. She’s just twenty,” he said, with an affectionate
-look at her which brought her eyes upon us and our conversation, and
-interrupted so far the confidential character of the interview between
-him and me.</p>
-
-<p>“Say nothing about it just now,” said I, hurriedly, “it only vexes her
-to hear you talk of what she is to do; leave her alone, dear soul&mdash;but
-at the same time don’t be afraid. The very day you go I’ll fetch her to
-the Park. She shall be our child while you are away&mdash;and it is to the
-Park you shall come when you come home. But say nothing about it now.
-She cannot bear to think of it at present. When the worst is over she’ll
-breathe again. Hush! don’t let her hear us now!”</p>
-
-<p>“But you know her, though you don’t know her,” said he, under his
-breath, with a half-wondering grateful look at me that quite restored my
-good-humour. I remember I nodded at him cheerfully. Know her! I should
-like to know who had as good a right! These young creatures can’t
-understand how many things an old woman knows.</p>
-
-<p>Here Milly came up to us, a little jealous, thinking somehow<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_255" id="page_255"></a>{255}</span> we were
-plotting against her. “Harry is talking to you of something?” she said,
-with a little hesitation in her voice.</p>
-
-<p>“On the subject we both like best, just now,” said I. “But I wish you
-both to go with me to the Park. You can manage it, can you not? The dear
-baby, and the little nurse, and&mdash;but the fat Italian? Ah! he doesn’t
-belong to you.</p>
-
-<p>“No! he was in great triumph to-night; his master has come home,” said
-young Langham. “He does not belong to us; but he is a devoted slave of
-Milly’s for all that.”</p>
-
-<p>“His master came home to-night!” I repeated the words over to myself
-involuntarily; and then a sudden thought struck me in the feverish
-impulse which came with that news. “Children,” said I, with a little
-gasp, “it is deeply to all our interest to know who that young man is. I
-can never rest, nor take comfort in anything till I know. Will you try
-to have him with you to-morrow, and I will come and speak to him? Hush!
-neither the Cresswells nor anybody is to know; it concerns only us
-Mortimers. Will you help me to see him at your house?”</p>
-
-<p>“You are trembling,” said Milly, suddenly taking hold of my hand. “Tell
-Harry what it is and he will do it. He is to be trusted; but it will
-agitate you.”</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot tell Harry, for I do not know,” said I, below my breath,
-leaning heavily upon the arm, so firm and yet so soft, that had come to
-my aid. “But I will take Harry’s support and yours. It shall be in your
-house. Whatever is to be said shall be said before you. Thank heaven! if
-I do get agitated and forget myself you will remember what he says.”</p>
-
-<p>“It is something that distresses you?” said the young stranger, once
-more looking into my face, not curious but wistful. I should have been
-angry had Sara Cresswell asked as much. I was glad and comforted to see
-Milly anxious on my account.</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot tell what it is; but whatever it is, it is right that you
-should know all about it,” said I. “For anything I can tell you it may
-interfere both with your succession and ours. I can’t tell you anything
-about it, that is the truth! I know no more than your baby does how Mr.
-Luigi can have any connection with our family; but he has a connection
-somehow&mdash;that is all I know. To-morrow, to-morrow, please God! we’ll try
-to find out what it is.”</p>
-
-<p>The two young people were a good deal startled by my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_256" id="page_256"></a>{256}</span> agitation;
-perhaps, as was natural, they were also moved by the thought of another
-person who might interfere with the inheritance that had just begun to
-dazzle their eyes; but as I leaned back in my chair, exhausted with the
-flutter that came over me at the very thought of questioning Mr. Luigi,
-my eyes fell upon Mr. Cresswell, still sipping a cup of tea, and quietly
-watching me over the top of his spectacles; and at the same moment Sara
-came in from the back drawing-room with great agitation and excitement
-in her face. I could see that she scarcely could restrain herself from
-coming to me and telling me something; but with a sudden guilty glance
-at her father, and a sudden unaccountable blush, she stole off into a
-corner, and, of all the wonderful things in the world, produced actually
-<i>some work</i> out of some fantastic ornamental work-table or other! That
-was certainly a new development in Sara. But I could read in her face
-that she had seen him too. She too had somehow poked her curls into this
-mystery. All around me, everybody I looked at, were moved by it, into
-curiosity or interest, or something deeper&mdash;I, the principal person in
-the business, feeling them all look at me, could only feel the more that
-I was going blindfold to, I could not tell what danger or precipice.
-Blindfold! but at least it should be straightforward. I knew that much
-of the to-morrow, which it made me tremble with excitement to think of;
-but I knew nothing more.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_257" id="page_257"></a>{257}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="PART_VI" id="PART_VI"></a>PART VI.<br /><br />
-THE LIEUTENANT’S WIFE.<br />
-<small>(<i>Continued</i>).</small></h2>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_I-f" id="Chapter_I-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter I.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">M</span><span class="smcap">Y</span> dear old relation whom we have found out so suddenly, and whom I am
-quite ashamed to have once thought to be a kind of usurper of something
-that belonged to me, has been too much distressed and troubled
-altogether about this business to have the trouble of writing it down as
-well; and I have so little, so strangely little, to take up my time just
-now. The days are somehow all blank, with nothing ever happening in
-them. In my mind I can always see the ship making way over the sea, with
-the same rush of green water, and the same low-falling, quiet sky, and
-no other ships in sight. It has been very quiet weather&mdash;that is a great
-mercy. They should be almost landed there by this time.</p>
-
-<p>But that is not my business just now. My dear Aunt Milly&mdash;it is true she
-is only my father’s cousin, but cousin is an awkward title between
-people of such different age, and, according to Sara Cresswell, she is
-my aunt, <i>à la mode de Bretagne</i>, which I don’t mind adopting without
-any very close inquiry into its meaning&mdash;made an engagement with us to
-come to our house the next morning after that first day we met her.
-Harry came home from the Cresswells that night in raptures with Aunt
-Milly. It was rather hard upon me to see him so pleased. Of course I
-knew very well what made him so pleased. He thought he had secured a
-home for me. He was never tired<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_258" id="page_258"></a>{258}</span> praising her in his way. I am not
-exactly sure whether she herself would have relished the praises he gave
-her, because he has a sad habit of talking slang like all the rest. But
-apart from any reason, he <i>took to her</i>, which it is a great pleasure to
-think of now. When we got home Mr. Luigi’s window was blazing with light
-just as it had done when he returned before; for Domenico seems to be
-quite of the opinion that candles are articles of love and welcome as
-well as of devotion. Harry, who had quite made acquaintance with the
-Italian gentleman when he was at home before, went in to see him, and I
-went upstairs to baby. I used to take comfort in getting by myself a
-little, just at that time. Ten minutes in my own room in the dark did me
-a great deal of good. When one takes an opportunity and gets it out of
-one’s heart now and then, one can go on longer and better&mdash;at least I
-have found it so.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie, always watchful, was very ready to let me hear that she was
-close at hand. The moment she heard me open my own room-door, she began
-to move about in the back apartment where she kept watch over baby, and
-I do believe it was only by dint of strong self-denial that she did not
-burst in upon me at once. I can’t fancy what she thought would happen if
-I “gave way.” It must have taken some very terrible shape to her fancy.
-After I had my moment of repose, I went to baby’s room. He was asleep
-like a little cherub in Mrs. Goldsworthy’s old wicker-work cradle, which
-I had trimmed with chintz for him; and Lizzie sat by the table working,
-but looking up at me with her sharp suspicious eyes&mdash;sidelong
-inquisitive looks, full of doubts of my fortitude, and anxiety for me.
-It was all affection, poor child. When one has affectionate creatures
-about one, it is impossible to be hard or shut one’s self up. I had no
-choice but to stop and tell Lizzie about my new friend.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, it was thon leddy was at the muckle gates, and warned us away for
-the kingcough,” cried Lizzie; “I minded her the very moment at the door.
-I was sure as could be from the first look that it was some friend.”</p>
-
-<p>“Some friend,” in Lizzie’s language meant some relation. I asked in
-wonder, “Why?”</p>
-
-<p>But Lizzie could not explain why; it was one of those unreasonable
-impressions which are either instinctively prophetic, or which are
-adopted unconsciously after the event has proved them true.</p>
-
-<p>“But you were never slow where help was needed or comfort,” said Lizzie,
-dropping her eyes and ashamed of her own compliment; “and I kent there
-was somebody to be sent to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_259" id="page_259"></a>{259}</span> comfort <i>you</i>; and wha could it be but a
-friend? For naebody could take you like the way you took me.”</p>
-
-<p>I suppose Lizzie’s view of things, being the simplest, had power over
-me. I was struck by this way of regarding it. Perhaps I had not just
-been thinking of what was <i>sent</i>. I felt as if that tight binding over
-my heart relaxed a little. Ah! so well as the Sender knew all about
-it&mdash;all my loneliness, dismay, and troubles; all my Harry’s risks and
-dangers; all our life beyond&mdash;inscrutable dread life which I dared not
-attempt to look at&mdash;and everything that was in it. I held my breath, and
-was silent in this wide world that opened out to me through Lizzie’s
-words.</p>
-
-<p>“And eh, mem,” cried Lizzie, opening her eyes wide, “I was sent for down
-the stair.”</p>
-
-<p>“Where?” cried I in astonishment.</p>
-
-<p>“I was sent for down the stair,” said Lizzie, with the oddest blush and
-twist of her person. “Menico, he’s aye been awfu’ ill at me since I
-wouldna gang to the playhouse after it was a’ settled&mdash;as if I could
-gang to play mysel’ the very day the news came! and eh, when he came up
-and glowered in at the door, and Mrs. Goldsworthy beside him, and no a
-person but me in <i>oor</i> house, I was awfu’ feared. Her being English,
-they were like twa foreigners thegither; and how was I to ken what they
-were wantin’? The only comfort I had was mindin’ upon the Captain’s
-sword. It was aye like a protection. But a’ they said was that Mrs.
-Goldsworthy would stop beside baby, and I was to gang down the stair and
-speak to the gentleman. I thought shame to look as if I was feared&mdash;but
-I was awfu’ feared for a’ that.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what then?”</p>
-
-<p>“I had to gang,” said Lizzie, holding down her head; “<i>he</i> was sleeping
-sound, and I kent I could hear the first word of greetin’ that was in
-his head; <i>I</i> could hear in ony corner o’ the house; and Mrs.
-Goldsworthy gied me her word she would sit awfu’ quiet and not disturb
-him. Eh, mem, are ye angry? I never did it afore, and I’ll never do it
-again.”</p>
-
-<p>“No, you must not do it again,” said I; “but who wanted you downstairs?”</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, it was the Italian gentleman,” said Lizzie; “and it was a’ about
-the leddy that was here the day. He wanted to ken if she was wanting
-<i>him</i>; and then he wanted to hear if I kent her, and what friend she was
-to you; but it was mostly a’ to make certain that it wasn’t <i>him</i> she
-wanted&mdash;as if a leddy like yon was likely to have ony troke wi’
-foreigners or strange men!<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_260" id="page_260"></a>{260}</span> and there was aye the other blatter to
-Menico in their ain language&mdash;and ower again, and ower again to me, if
-it wasna <i>him</i> she asked for. And me standing close at the door
-listening for baby, and thinking shame to be there, and awfu’ feared you
-would be angry. I would like to ken what the like of him had to do wi’
-leddies?&mdash;and Menico, too, that might have kent better&mdash;but there’s
-naebody will behave to please folk perfect in this world.”</p>
-
-<p>“But this is very strange news,” said I. “What did you say, Lizzie? did
-you say it was Miss Mortimer, and that she was a relation of mine.”</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, no me!” cried Lizzie. “Ye might think it to see me so silly, but I
-wasna that daft. I said it was ane on a visit to the leddy. <i>I</i> had nae
-ado with it ony mair than that, and I’m sure neither had he.”</p>
-
-<p>Here Harry’s voice sounded from below, calling me, and I left Lizzie
-somewhat amused by her cautious and prudent answer, and not a little
-curious to see that the Italian was interested about the old lady as
-well as she about him. I found Harry quite full of the same story. Mr.
-Luigi had questioned him with great caution about Miss Mortimer, and of
-course had heard the entire story from Harry of our relationship, and
-how we found each other out. He had received it very quietly, without
-expressing any feeling at all, and had asked some very close questions
-about her and about the Park, and her other sister. Harry could not make
-him out. Of course neither of us knew the other sister. Evidently it was
-a mysterious business somehow. But as we knew nothing whatever about it,
-we soon came to an end of our speculations. The morning, perhaps, as
-Aunt Milly thought, would clear it all up.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_261" id="page_261"></a>{261}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_II-f" id="Chapter_II-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter II.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> morning came, and a very lovely morning it was, as bright and almost
-as warm as summer, one of those glimpses of real spring which come to us
-only by days at a time. Aunt Milly came almost before we had finished
-breakfast. I dare say she is accustomed to early hours; but it was
-evidently strong anxiety and excitement that had brought her out so soon
-to-day. I had told Lizzie she was coming, and Lizzie, either with some
-perception of the real nature of her visit, which I could not in any way
-account for, or with natural Scotch jealousy and reluctance to satisfy
-the curiosity of strangers as to our relationship, kept on the watch
-after she had given baby into my charge, and got her triumphantly into
-the house without any intervention on the part of Domenico. Aunt Milly
-sank into a chair, very breathless and agitated. It was some time before
-she could even notice little Harry. To see her so made me more and more
-aware how serious this business, whatever it was, must be.</p>
-
-<p>“But I am too early, I suppose?” she said with a little gasp.</p>
-
-<p>Harry thought it was rather too early, unless he were to tell Mr. Luigi
-plainly what he was wanted for, which she would not permit him to do. It
-was a very uncomfortable interval. She sat silent, evidently with her
-whole mind bent upon the approaching interview. We, neither knowing the
-subject of it, nor what her anxiety was, had nothing to say, and I was
-very glad when Harry went downstairs to find the Italian. Then Aunt
-Milly made a hurried communication to me when we were alone, which
-certainly did not explain anything, but which still she evidently felt
-to be taking me into her confidence.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear, Sarah knows something about him,” said Aunt Milly; “somehow or
-other Sarah knows that he has a claim upon us. When she heard of the
-inquiries he was making, she was in a state of desperation&mdash;used to
-drive out with the carriage blinds down, poor soul, and kept watching
-all day long, so wretched and anxious that it would have broken<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_262" id="page_262"></a>{262}</span> your
-heart. But how it all is, and how about this Countess, and his being
-named Luigi, and his claim upon the estate, and her knowing him&mdash;though,
-so far as I can judge, he could be no more than born when she came
-home&mdash;Hark! was that somebody coming upstairs?”</p>
-
-<p>It was only some of the people of the house moving about. Aunt Milly
-gave a sigh of relief. “My dear, I’m more and more anxious since I’ve
-found <i>you</i>, to know the worst,” she said. “It is as great a mystery to
-you as to your baby, how he can have any connection with us. Dear, dear!
-to think of a quiet family, and such a family as the Mortimers, plunged
-all at once into some mystery! it is enough to break one’s heart;&mdash;but
-then, you see, Sarah was so long abroad.”</p>
-
-<p>“Was she long abroad?” said I, with a little cry. All at once, and in
-spite of myself, my old fancy about that old Miss Mortimer, whom I
-imagined living in my grandfather’s house, came back to my mind. The
-great beauty whom my good Mrs. Saltoun had seen abroad&mdash;how strange if
-this should be her after all! Somehow my old imaginations had looked so
-true at the time, that I seemed to remember them as if they were matters
-of fact and not of fancy. I looked up, quite with a consciousness that I
-knew something about it, in Aunt Milly’s face.</p>
-
-<p>“What do you know about her?” cried Aunt Milly, rising up quite erect
-and rigid out of her chair. Her excitement was extreme. She had
-evidently gone beyond the point at which she could be surprised to find
-any stranger throwing light upon her mystery. But at that moment those
-steps for which we had been listening did ascend the stairs. We could
-hear them talking as they approached, the Italian with his accent and
-rather solemn dictionary English, and Harry’s voice that sounded so easy
-in comparison. Aunt Milly sank back again into her chair. She grasped
-the arms of it to support herself, and gave me a strange half-terrified,
-half-courageous look. In another moment they had entered the room.</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Luigi came in without any idea, I dare say, of the anxiety with
-which we awaited him; but he had not been a minute in the room when his
-quick eye caught Aunt Milly, though she had drawn back with an
-involuntary movement of withdrawal from the crisis she had herself
-brought on. I could read in his face, the instant he saw her, that he
-divined the little contrivance by which he had been brought here. He
-stood facing her after he had paid his respects to me, and took no
-notice of the chair Harry offered him. As for Harry and I, not knowing
-whether they really knew each other, or whether<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_263" id="page_263"></a>{263}</span> they ought to be named
-to each other, or what to do, we stood very uncomfortable and
-embarrassed behind. I said “Miss Mortimer,” instinctively, to lessen the
-embarrassment if I could. I don’t believe he heard me. <i>He</i> knew Miss
-Mortimer very well, however it was.</p>
-
-<p>And it was he who was the first to break the silence. He made a kind of
-reverence to her, more than a bow, like some sort of old-fashioned
-filial demonstration. “Madame has something to say to me?” he asked,
-with an anxiety in his face almost equal to her own.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” cried Aunt Milly, “I&mdash;I have something to say to you. Sit down,
-and let me get breath.”</p>
-
-<p>He sat down, and so did we. To see her struggling to overcome the great
-tremor of excitement she had fallen into, and we all waiting in silence
-for her words, must have been a very strange scene. It was the merest
-wonder and curiosity, of course, with Harry and me; but I remember
-noticing even at that moment that Mr. Luigi was not surprised. He
-evidently knew something to account for her agitation. He sat looking at
-her, bending towards her with visible expectation of something. It was
-no mystery to him.</p>
-
-<p>“Sir&mdash;young man,” cried Aunt Milly, with a gasp, “I do not know you; you
-are a stranger, a foreigner; you have nothing to do with this place.
-What, in the name of heaven, is it that you have to do with mine or me?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Luigi’s countenance fell. He was bitterly disappointed; it was
-evident in his face. He drew a long breath and clasped his hands
-together, half in resignation, half appealing against some hard fate.
-“Ah!” he said, “I did hope otherwise&mdash;is it, indeed, indeed, that you
-know not <i>me</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly gave a cry half of terror. “I recognise your voice,” she
-said. “I see gleams in your face of faces I know. I am going out of my
-wits with bewilderment and trouble; but as sure as you are there before
-me, I know no more who you are than does the child who cannot speak.”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Luigi made no reply for some minutes. Then he made some exclamations
-in Italian, scarcely knowing, I am sure, what he was saying. Then he
-remembered himself. “Thing most strange! thing most terrible!” cried the
-young man; “not even now!&mdash;not even now!” and he looked round to us with
-such distress and amazement in his face, and with such an involuntary
-call for our sympathy, though we knew nothing about it, that his look
-went to my heart. Aunt Milly saw it, and was confounded by it. His
-genuine wonder and strange<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_264" id="page_264"></a>{264}</span> grieved consciousness that she ought to have
-known this secret, whatever it was, stopped her questions upon her lips.
-She sat leaning forward looking at him, struck dumb by his looks. I was
-so excited by the evident reserve on both sides, which implied the
-existence of a third person whom neither would name, that I burst into
-it, on the spur of the moment, without thinking whether what I said was
-sensible or foolish. “Who?” I cried, “who is the other person that
-knows?”</p>
-
-<p>Both of them started violently; then their eyes met in a strange look of
-intelligence. Aunt Milly fell back in her chair trembling dreadfully,
-trembling so much that her teeth chattered. Mr. Luigi rose. “I am at
-Madame’s disposition,” he said softly; “but what can I say? It is better
-I be gone while I do not harm Madame, and make her ill. Pardon! it is
-not I who am to blame!”</p>
-
-<p>Saying so, he took Aunt Milly’s hand, kissed it, and turned to the door.
-She called him back faintly. “Stop, I have not asked you rightly,” said
-poor Aunt Milly. “Could not you tell me, without minding anybody else?
-Are you&mdash;are you?&mdash;oh! <i>who</i> are you? I do beseech you tell me. If wrong
-is done you, I have no hand in it. What is there to prevent you telling
-me?”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, pardon. I know my duty,” said the young man. “If she <i>will</i> reject
-me&mdash;then! but it is yet too early. I wait&mdash;I expect&mdash;she has not yet
-said it to me.”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly gathered herself up gradually, with a strange fluttered look
-in her eyes. “<i>Reject</i> you! God bless us! it is some mistake, after all.
-Do you know who it is you are speaking of? Do you know if it is my
-sister Sarah? She is my elder sister, ten years older than me,&mdash;old
-enough to be your mother&mdash;is it she? or, oh, God help us! is it a
-mistake?”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Luigi turned towards me for a moment, with a face melted out of all
-reserve, into such affectionateness and emotion as I scarcely ever saw
-on a man’s face. When she named her sister’s age, he said, “Ah!” with a
-tone as if her words went to his heart. But that was all. He shook his
-head. He said, “No more, no more,” and went slowly but steadily away. It
-was no mistake. What she said conveyed no information to him. He knew
-<i>that</i> Sarah’s age and all about her, better than her sister did, or I
-was mistaken. What he said, and still more what he looked, brought a
-strong sudden impression to my mind. I don’t know yet how I can be
-right&mdash;if I am right it is the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_265" id="page_265"></a>{265}</span> strangest thing in the world; but I know
-it darted into my head that morning when Luigi’s face melted out so
-strongly, and that cry which explained nothing came from his heart.</p>
-
-<p>In the meantime, however, poor Aunt Milly sat wringing her hands and
-more troubled than ever, repeating to herself bits of the conversation
-which had just passed, and bits of other conversations which we knew
-nothing about. Harry and I, a little uncomfortable, still tried to
-occupy ourselves so that we should not hear anything she did not want us
-to hear; but we did not wish to leave her either. At last Harry went out
-altogether and left her alone with me, and by degrees she calmed down. I
-do not wonder she was painfully excited. There could be little doubt
-some strange, unnatural secret was concealed in her house.</p>
-
-<p>“But you heard him say <i>reject</i>,” said Aunt Milly,&mdash;“if she rejected
-him&mdash;do you feel quite sure he understood my last question? Not knowing
-a language very well makes a wonderful difference; and what if he
-supposed my sister a <i>young</i> woman, Milly? When I began to be troubled
-about this business, I couldn’t but think that it was some old lover
-Sarah was afraid of meeting, forgetting the lapse of time. She was a
-great beauty once, you know. How do you suppose, now, an old woman could
-<i>reject</i> a young man?”</p>
-
-<p>“But there are other meanings of the word than as it is between young
-women and young men,” said I; “he might mean <i>disown</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>“He might mean <i>disown</i>,” repeated Aunt Milly slowly,&mdash;“<i>disown</i>; but,
-dear, dear child,” she cried, immediately throwing off her first puzzled
-hypothesis, and falling back at once into the real subject of her
-trouble, “what can he be to Sarah that she could <i>disown</i> him? Before
-you can disown a person he must belong to you. How could Mr. Luigi
-belong to my sister? but, to be sure, it is folly to put such questions
-to you that know nothing about it. Milly, dear, I’ll have to go home.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am very, very sorry you are going home disappointed,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said Aunt Milly, with a great sigh, “it is hard to think one’s
-somehow involved in doing wrong, my dear; it’s hard to live in the house
-with your nearest friend, and not to know any more of her than if she
-were a stranger. What was I saying? I never said so much to any creature
-before. I take you as if you belonged to me, though you scarcely know me
-yet, Milly. I’d like you to settle to come out as soon as<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_266" id="page_266"></a>{266}</span> possible,
-dear. I’d like you to see Sarah, and tell me what you think.
-Perhaps&mdash;there is no telling&mdash;she might say something to <i>you</i>.”</p>
-
-<p>“But will she be pleased to know about us?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“It was <i>her</i> desire to seek for you,” said Aunt Milly. “She thought of
-that, somehow, just before this trouble came on. Sometimes it has come
-into my mind, that she thought if she found your father, he would have
-protected her somehow. I can’t tell: it is all a great mystery to me.”</p>
-
-<p>And so she went away after a while, looking very sorrowful; but came
-back to tell me to put my bonnet on and come with her to Mr.
-Cresswell’s, who was to drive her home. On our way there I suddenly felt
-her grasp my arm and point forward a little way before us, where Mr.
-Luigi was walking slowly along the road by Sara Cresswell’s side. Aunt
-Milly came almost to a dead stop, looking at them. They were not
-arm-in-arm, nor did they look as if they had met <i>on purpose</i>. I dare
-say it was only by accident. Sara, as usual, was dressed in a great
-velvet jacket, much larger and wider than the one she wore indoors, and
-held her little head high, as if she quite meant to impress an idea of
-her dignity upon the Italian, who had to stoop down a long way, and
-perhaps did stoop down more than Aunt Milly and I saw to be exactly
-necessary. They went the length of the street together, quite
-unconscious of the critics behind them, and then separated, Mr. Luigi
-marching off at a very brisk pace, and Sara continuing her way home. We
-came up to her just as she reached her own door. She was certainly a
-very pretty creature, and looked so fresh and blooming in the morning
-air that I could not have scolded her a great deal, though I own I had a
-very good mind to do my best in that way, while we were walking behind.
-The moment she saw us she took guilt to herself. Her face glowed into
-the most overpowering blush, and the little parasol in her hand fell out
-of her trembling fingers. But, of course, her spirit did not forsake
-her. She was not the person to yield to any such emergency.</p>
-
-<p>“We have been walking after you for a long time,” said dear Aunt Milly,
-in a voice which I have no doubt she supposed to be severe. “I should
-have called you to wait for us, had I not seen you were otherwise
-engaged.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh! then you saw Mr. Luigi, godmamma?” said Sara, quite innocently. “He
-says he thinks he has found out where the Countess Sermoneta is.”</p>
-
-<p>“The Countess Sermoneta!&mdash;oh, child, child, how can you<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_267" id="page_267"></a>{267}</span> speak so to
-me?” cried Aunt Milly. “I don’t believe there is any such person in the
-world. I believe he only makes a fuss about a name, no one ever heard
-of, to cover his real designs, whatever they may be.”</p>
-
-<p>“Godmamma!” cried Sara, with a flash of fury; “perhaps it will be better
-to come indoors,” cried the little wicked creature (as Aunt Milly calls
-her); “nobody, that I ever heard of, took away people’s characters in
-the open street.”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly went in quickly, shaking her head and deeply troubled. The
-renewal of this subject swept Sara’s enormity out of her head. We
-followed, Sara bidding me precede her with a sort of affronted grandeur,
-which, I confess, was a little amusing to me. When we came into the
-dining-room, where Aunt Milly went first, the little girl confronted us
-both, very ready to answer anything we had to say, and confute us to our
-faces. But much to Sara’s surprise, and perhaps annoyance, Aunt Milly
-did not say a word on the subject. She shook her head again more
-energetically than ever. She was so much shaken on this one subject,
-that other matters evidently glided out of her mind, whenever she was
-recalled to this.</p>
-
-<p>“No, no! depend upon it there’s no Countess Sermoneta. I believed in it
-at first, naturally, as everybody else did. It may be a lady, but it
-isn’t an Italian lady. No, no,” said Aunt Milly, mournfully; “he knows
-better. He said nothing, you may be sure, about <i>her</i> to me.”</p>
-
-<p>At this moment Mr. Cresswell entered the room, and a little after the
-brougham came to the door. There was nothing more said on the subject.
-Sara saw them drive away, with a flutter of fear, I could see; but she
-need not have been afraid. Aunt Milly had returned into the
-consideration of her own mystery, which swallowed up Sara’s. I do not
-think, for my own part, that I had very Christian feelings towards Mr.
-Luigi as I went home.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_268" id="page_268"></a>{268}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_III-f" id="Chapter_III-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter III.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">F</span><span class="smcap">OR</span> a few days after I was occupied entirely with my own affairs. We had
-promised to go to the Park to see that strange sister Sarah, who
-troubled Aunt Milly’s mind so much; and we had, of course, to make some
-little preparations for going&mdash;more, indeed, than were very convenient
-at such a time, as you may very well suppose. However, Aunt Connor, who
-had not paid the last half year’s interest, sent it just then, “all in a
-lump,” as she said herself, “thinking it would do you more good;” as
-indeed it did, though perhaps poor Aunt Connor had other motives than
-that one for not sending it just when it was due. Harry was quite
-pleased at the thought of going to the Park. He got leave of absence for
-a few days; and, naturally, it was a satisfaction to him, after feeling
-that he had been obliged to keep his wife in the shade so long, to say
-that it was to my relations we were going. And what with all the
-preparations for his going away as well, I was so very busy that I got
-little leisure to think. It is very common to say what good
-opportunities for thought one has in working at one’s needle&mdash;and it is
-very true so far as quiet, leisurely work is concerned; but when it
-happens to be making shirts and such things&mdash;and you know, with most
-men, merely to <i>say</i> they are made at home is enough to make them feel
-as if they did not fit,&mdash;it is quite a different matter. I was too busy,
-both mind and fingers, to do much thinking; and that was far better for
-me than if I had found more leisure. I used to go up to Lizzie’s room,
-which we called the nursery, and work there. Baby sat on the carpet,
-well protected with cushions, and furnished with things to play with. He
-was not very particular&mdash;his playthings were of a very humble and
-miscellaneous order; but I am sure he was as happy as a little king.</p>
-
-<p>“And eh, isn’t it grand that his birthday’s come before the Captain
-gangs away? He’ll, maybe, be back,” said Lizzie, peering into my face
-with a sidelong look, “before another year.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_269" id="page_269"></a>{269}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Hush!” said I, hastily; “but you must remember, Lizzie, to be
-particularly nice and tidy, and to look as if you were twenty, at least,
-when we go to the Park.”</p>
-
-<p>Here Lizzie drew herself up a little. “I’ve never been among a housefu’
-o’ servants,” said Lizzie, “that’s true&mdash;but I’ve been wi’ a leddy, and
-that suld learn folk manners better nor a’ the flunkeys in the world.
-For Menico says, as well as I can understand him, that there’s twa
-men-servants, and as mony maids as would fill a house. Eh, mem, wouldn’t
-it be a great vexation to see a wheen idle folk aye in the road?
-Menico’s no like a common man; there’s no an article he canna do; but as
-for just flunkeys to hand the plates and do about a house&mdash;eh, if it was
-me, I would think they werena men.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Miss Mortimer’s man is not a flunkey; it was he who came with us in
-the omnibus,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Yon <i>gentleman</i>?” said Lizzie, in great dismay. “I thought he was a
-minister; and eh, to think of <i>him</i> puttin’ on fires and waitin’ at the
-table! I would far sooner be a woman mysel’.”</p>
-
-<p>“And have you any objection to be a woman apart from that?” said I. “I
-did not think you had been so ambitious, Lizzie. What would <i>you</i> do if
-you were a man?”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie’s colour rose, and her work fell from her hand. “I would gang to
-the wars with the Captain,” cried the girl, “I would aye make a spring
-in before him where danger was. I would send word every day how he did,
-and what he was doing. I would stand by our ain flag if they hacked me
-in pieces. I wouldna let the Hielanders stay still, no a moment!&mdash;I
-would dash them down on the enemy wi’ a’ their bayonets, and cry
-‘Scotland and the Queen!’ and if we were killed, wha’s heeding!&mdash;it
-would be worth a man’s while to die!”</p>
-
-<p>This outburst was more than I could bear. I forgot to think it was only
-Lizzie, a woman and a child, that spoke. I put my hands over my eyes to
-shut out the prospect she brought before me, but only saw the picture
-all the clearer, as my hand, with all its warm pulses beating, shut out
-the daylight. I could see Harry rushing before them with his sword
-drawn. I could hear his voice pealing out over their heads; I could see
-the smoke close over him and swallow him up. Ah, heaven!&mdash;pictures and
-stories are made out of such scenes. This creature by my side had flamed
-up into exulting enthusiasm at the thought. How many hearts attended
-those charging regiments, breaking against each other, heart upon<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_270" id="page_270"></a>{270}</span>
-heart! It came to my heart to wonder, suddenly, whether there might not
-be some young Russian woman, like me, imagining that fight. Her husband
-and my Harry might meet under those dreadful flags,&mdash;she and I, would
-not we meet, too, in our agony? I held out my arms to her with a cry of
-anguish&mdash;we were sisters, though <i>they</i> were foes.</p>
-
-<p>When I looked up Lizzie was crying bitterly, partly with her own
-excitement, partly, because she saw how cruel her suggestion had been to
-me. She did not mean it so, poor child. Baby sat playing all the time
-among his cushions, crowing to himself over the bright-coloured ball he
-had found under his heap of toys. I thought to myself he would laugh all
-the same whatever happened, and wondered how I should bear to hear him.
-But that was enough, that was too much. I stopped myself, as best I
-could, from going on any further. I got some linen that had to be cut
-out, and rose up to do it;&mdash;it was very delicate work. If I were not
-very careful, a snip of the scissors, too much or too little, might
-spoil all the stuff; for Harry was very fastidious, you know, about all
-his things, like most young men. It took some trouble to steady my hand
-enough&mdash;but I did manage it. I wonder what the Russian woman did, to
-calm <i>her</i> agitation down.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie recovered very hastily when she saw what I was doing. She picked
-up her work, and sewed for a long time so silently and swiftly, that the
-snip of my scissors and the movement of her arm, as she drew through her
-needle, were the only sounds, except those which baby made, to be heard
-in the room. At last she took courage to address me with great humility,
-asking only if it was “the day after the morn” that we were going to the
-Park?</p>
-
-<p>I nodded my head in return, and Lizzie took courage to go on. The next
-question was whether the Italian gentleman would be there?</p>
-
-<p>“The Italian gentleman! what has he to do with the Miss Mortimers?”
-cried I.</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, it’s no me said it,” cried Lizzie, in alarm; “but yesterday, the
-day the leddy was here Menico was a’ the gate out there, ance errand wi’
-a letter. I said what way did it no go to the post? and he said the post
-wouldna do. But I wouldna let on the leddy was here.”</p>
-
-<p>“He went out with a letter, did he?” said I, in much surprise. “Was that
-where he was all day? I did not see him about till it was dark.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_271" id="page_271"></a>{271}</span></p>
-
-<p>“There maun be another leddy?” said Lizzie, inquisitively; “and he gaed
-her some grand name or another. He’s awfu’ funny wi’ his names. He ca’s
-baby <i>Signorino</i> and <i>ragazzino</i>, and I dinna ken a’ what. I looked them
-up in the dictionary, and they were a’ right meanings enough. But it
-wasna Miss Mortimer he ca’ed the other leddy. Eh, mem, isn’t Menico
-getting grand at his English? and I’me aye improving mysel’ too,” said
-Lizzie, with a little blush and awkward droop of her head.</p>
-
-<p>I was not much in the humour for laughing at poor Lizzie’s
-self-complacency; but I was rather anxious to hear all the gossip I
-could get for Aunt Milly’s sake. I asked immediately “Were they kind to
-Menico at the Park?”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie hesitated a little in her answer. “He’s rael clever at speaking,”
-she said, apologetically,&mdash;I suppose finding it rather hard to go back
-so soon after her laudation&mdash;“but when it’s a long story it’s no so easy
-to ken&mdash;no <i>a’</i> he means. But I’m no thinking they were very good to
-him&mdash;for he was awfu’ angry when he came hame. And eh, to see him at his
-dinner! You would think he hadna seen meat for a week. It’s no a guid
-account of a house&mdash;no meaning ony harm of a great house like the Park,”
-said Lizzie, reflectively,&mdash;“when a man comes awfu’ hungry hame.”</p>
-
-<p>Here there was a little pause while Lizzie threaded her needle. I don’t
-know whether she was indulging in any melancholy anticipations of the
-hospitality of the Park. However, presently she resumed her story again.</p>
-
-<p>“And eh, mem! far mair than that,” said Lizzie, making a fresh start,
-“he brought back the very same letter just as it was&mdash;it might be
-because the leddy was out, or I dinna ken what it might be; but I saw
-him gi’e it back to the gentleman. And the gentleman, instead of being
-angry, he just took the letter and shook his head, and set fire to it at
-the candle. The door was open, and I saw him do it as I came up the
-stairs. It gaed to my heart to see him burning the good letter,” said
-Lizzie; “there was, maybe, something in’t that somebody might have likit
-to hear.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, Lizzie, don’t you know nobody has any business with a letter
-except the person who wrote it, and the person it is addressed to?” said
-I.</p>
-
-<p>I spoke, I confess, in an admonitory spirit. We did not get very many
-letters, but Harry was sadly careless of those he did get.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_272" id="page_272"></a>{272}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Eh, but foreigners are no like other folk,” cried Lizzie; “there’s
-something awfu’ queer in burning a letter, and it a’ sealed up. I
-couldna find it in my heart;&mdash;and when it’s a long story, it’s awfu’
-fickle to understand Domenico, the half o’ what he says.”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie ended with a sigh of unsatisfied curiosity. Perhaps, if I could
-have done it, I might have been as anxious to cross-question Domenico as
-she.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_273" id="page_273"></a>{273}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IV-f" id="Chapter_IV-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">O</span><span class="smcap">UR</span> little journey was arranged by Aunt Milly in the most comfortable
-way she could think of for us. Harry would not consent to let her send
-the carriage all the way. The railway was close to us, and it passed
-about two miles from the Park, where there was a little station; and the
-carriage was to meet us there. It was a very short journey, certainly;
-but I remember when we were all in the train,&mdash;all&mdash;every one of us,&mdash;a
-family entire and close together,&mdash;and especially at the moment when we
-were passing through the tunnel, and felt in the darkness more entirely
-separated from the world,&mdash;a sudden thought seized upon me: “Oh, if we
-were only going on, anywhere, anywhere to the end of the world!”
-Plunging through the darkness, with Harry sitting close by me, and baby
-on my knee, and nobody able to approach or stop us&mdash;going on all
-together! All sorts of people have their fancies, no doubt. I daresay
-mine were very homely ones; but I shall never forget the strange thrill
-that came upon my heart as this wild possibility seized me. When we came
-slowly into the daylight, and the train stopped, and the door of the
-carriage flew open, and dear Aunt Milly herself appeared to welcome us,
-I woke up with a little shiver into real life again. Ah me! one cannot
-dart into the bowels of the earth and hide one’s self. But life and duty
-somehow looked cold at me with their piercing daylight eyes after that
-thought.</p>
-
-<p>Everything familiar stopped short and broke off when we got into the
-carriage. Aunt Milly was not a great lady. I don’t think anything could
-ever have made her a great lady; but it was clear she had been a person
-of consideration for many a year. I never had been in such a carriage
-before; indeed, I don’t think I had ever been in any carriage but a
-public one, for, of course, Aunt Connor was not rich enough to have a
-carriage of her own. But when I sat down by Aunt Milly’s side, I could
-not help feeling immediately that it all belonged to me. It was a
-strange feeling, and indeed, if nobody will be shocked, it was a very
-pleasing feeling. Instead of making me discontented, somehow it quite
-reconciled me to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_274" id="page_274"></a>{274}</span> being poor. My own opinion is, that people of good
-family, or whatever is equivalent to good family,&mdash;people that know they
-belong to a higher class, whether other people know it or not,&mdash;always
-bear poverty best. It does not humiliate them as it does people who have
-always been poor. I think I could have stood any remarks upon my bonnet,
-or even baby’s pelisse, with great equanimity after my visit to the
-Park; being poor looked so much more like an accidental circumstance
-after that. Perhaps I don’t explain very well what I mean, so I will
-just state it plainly, and then you may understand, or disagree with it,
-just as you choose. The higher one’s rank is, the better one can bear
-being poor. There! it is not the common opinion, but I believe it all
-the same for that.</p>
-
-<p>And here was the Park, the very same great modern house that stood
-(leaning on the trees) in poor papa’s drawing, with two wings drawn out
-from the main body of the building, and a curious archway and a little
-paved court at the side before you came to the great door. We went to
-the great door as we were strangers, and I could see the grave face of
-my omnibus acquaintance peeping through a round bow-window close to the
-door before he admitted us, very solemnly and with profoundest abstract
-air. I wonder if he could remember us. His face looked as blankly
-respectful as if any idea on any subject whatever would somehow be
-unbecoming the dignity of the Park. Aunt Milly, who had gradually become
-fidgety, now took hold of my hand and drew me forward quickly. I went
-with her, a little astonished, but with no clear idea where I was going.
-She took me into a very long, very large room, with a great many tall
-windows on one side, a room so big as to look a perfect maze of
-furniture to me. I saw nobody in it, and did not think of it as being a
-room in common use. She had brought me to see some picture, no doubt.
-But Aunt Milly hurried me up this long room, with her hand upon my
-wrist, to a screen that seemed drawn so as to shelter one side of the
-fireplace. When we came in front of this, I was greatly startled to see
-a lady, with large knitting-pins in her hands, rise slowly from an
-arm-chair. There was nothing extraordinary in her look; she had fine
-features, I suppose,&mdash;I don’t think I know, very well, what fine
-features are,&mdash;she had white hair, and a pretty cap with soft-coloured
-ribbons, and a strange, <i>studied</i>, soft-coloured dress. I noticed all
-this unconsciously, in the midst of the nervous and startled sensation
-that I had in being brought in front of her so suddenly. She put both
-her knitting-pins into one hand, and held out the other to me. Then she
-bent<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_275" id="page_275"></a>{275}</span> forward a little, meaning me to kiss her, which I did with much
-awe and with no great sensation of pleasure. Her hand was cold, and so
-was her cheek. I could scarcely help shrinking away from her touch. Then
-she spoke, and I, being quite unprepared for it, was still more
-startled. Her voice was a kind of whisper, very strange and unpleasant;
-all the s’s came out sharp, with a kind of hiss. I suppose it was
-because she was so entirely used to it herself that Aunt Milly never
-mentioned it to me.</p>
-
-<p>“So you are Richard Mortimer’s daughter?” she said. “Sit down: I am very
-glad to see you. It is I that have been so anxious about finding you for
-some time past. But where is your husband? I want him to come as well as
-you.”</p>
-
-<p>“He is in the hall. He will be here presently, Sarah,” said Aunt Milly.
-“I told Ellis to show him in, and the dear baby, too; but I could not
-keep back Milly from you for a moment. I knew you would be anxious to
-see her at once.”</p>
-
-<p>“I wish to see her husband too,” said Miss Mortimer. “So your name is
-Milly? Because it was our principal family name, I suppose? Your father
-was a great man for family matters, because <i>his</i> father was such a
-leveller; otherwise I should have thought he would have called you after
-me.”</p>
-
-<p>Why, I wondered? but indeed I had very little inclination to speak.</p>
-
-<p>“I want to see your husband particularly. I should like you to live
-here. Milly says he is going to the Crimea,” said Miss Mortimer. “I hope
-he’s a reasonable man. Why shouldn’t he leave the army at once? <i>I</i> want
-him here. You were not the heir to an estate like the Park when he got
-orders for the Crimea. I see no reason in the world why he should not
-sell out and stay at home.”</p>
-
-<p>I think she went on saying more, but I did not hear her; the great room
-swam in my eyes; she seemed all fading away into pale circles. I lost
-hold of the chair or something I was standing by. I don’t remember
-anything else till I felt some water dashed on my face, and gradually
-the pale circles cleared away, and I was in the same room again. I had
-no idea what had happened to me. I was lying on a sofa, though, now,
-with my face all wet, and a dreadful singing and buzzing in my ears, and
-Harry was there. I found out I had fainted. I never did such a thing in
-all my life before; how very foolish of me! and just when she was
-talking, too, about that&mdash;that chance. I caught hold of Harry’s fingers
-tight: “Go and speak to her!” I cried out. I could not keep still until<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_276" id="page_276"></a>{276}</span>
-he went, for I could see the screen, and knew she was there.</p>
-
-<p>When he disappeared behind the screen, and when, after a moment, Aunt
-Milly followed, always keeping her eyes on me, I lay perfectly still,
-grasping my two hands in each other. My mind was all seething up, as if
-in a fever, round what she had said. I was conscious of nothing else. I
-could not hear what they were saying now for the noise in my ears; but
-as I lay still a strange succession of feelings came over me. It was
-like so many breezes of wind, each cooler,&mdash;nay, I mean colder,&mdash;than
-the other. First it occurred to me what other people would say of him,
-of Harry, whom no one now durst breathe a doubt upon; then I thought of
-him fighting with himself for my sake, trying to put down his manhood
-and his honour to save breaking his wife’s heart; then I came to myself
-last of all. Would I? could I? I groaned aloud in my anguish. Oh,
-Russian woman, what would <i>you</i> say? There are plenty to be killed and
-sacrificed. Shall we let our children’s fathers go, to be lost in that
-smoke and battle? Harry burst out to me from behind the screen when I
-was in this darkness. I never saw him look as he looked then. He took my
-two hands and cried out in an appeal and remonstrance, “Milly, do <i>you</i>
-say so?” looking down at me with his eyes all in a blaze. I could not
-bear it. I put him away&mdash;thrust him away. They say I cried out to God in
-my despair. I cannot tell anything that I said but “Go!” Oh, Russian
-woman, I wonder if you made up your mind as I did! No, not if it were to
-break my heart; we could die, all of us, when the good Lord pleased; but
-the good Lord never pleased that one of us should make the other fail.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_277" id="page_277"></a>{277}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_V-f" id="Chapter_V-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter V.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">FELT</span> ill and shaken all the rest of that day. It was some time before
-they would let me get up from the sofa, and I quite remember how very
-strange it was to lie there in the great daylight room, with the sky
-looming in through the great window, and to watch, always so close by,
-and yet so distant, that screen which was drawn out by the side of the
-fire. I could not keep my eyes from that harmless piece of furniture.
-Aunt Milly kept coming and going, constantly talking to cheer me up, and
-bring things to show me. But no sound came from the screen. There, in
-that little space, shut off and shaded out of the centre of her home,
-sat the woman who already fascinated me with an influence I could not
-explain. Without knowing what I was doing&mdash;indeed, even I may say
-against my will,&mdash;strange recollections of stories I had read came up to
-my mind; about people in masks going whispering through an evil life,
-about the veiled prophet in the poem, about secret hidden creatures
-suspected of all manner of harm, but never found out, or betrayed. There
-she was, within three paces of me, concealed and silent,&mdash;or was it not
-rather watchful, lurking, with her bloodless smile and her shut up
-heart? My imagination, perhaps, is always too active; somehow it quite
-overpowered me that day. It seized upon Miss Sarah Mortimer’s looks and
-her voice, and the strange separation which she made by that screen
-between herself and the world. She was different&mdash;entirely
-different&mdash;from that old ghastly Miss Mortimer whom I used to dream of
-in my grandfather’s house; that one with her hair all mixed with grey,
-and her dark careless dress, sitting by the fire with the ghosts of the
-past about her, was a pleasant recollection in face of this. The great
-beauty, deserted of all the world and fallen into solitude, had
-something pathetic in her loneliness. But behind that screen there was
-no pathos that I could see; nothing human, I had almost said. What folly
-to speak so! To anybody’s eyes but mine, I daresay there was only an old
-lady very prettily and carefully dressed, everything about her looking
-as if it were intended to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_278" id="page_278"></a>{278}</span> repeat and reproduce the effect of her white
-hair; soft colours with clouds of something white coming over them. But
-I could not look at her in that way. I was in awe and afraid when I
-looked at the screen. It was a comfort to get out of the room, to go
-upstairs, where after a while Aunt Milly took me. But I could not forget
-her even upstairs. There she sat in her armchair, stony-eyed, knitting
-like one of the Fates,&mdash;or was it spin they did?&mdash;and that screen
-drawing a magical, dreadful shadow round her chair.</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly had prepared our rooms for us with the greatest care, that
-was very evident. There was the daintiest little bed for baby, all new
-and fresh, evidently bought for him, and quite a basketful of new toys,
-which already he was doing his best to pull all to pieces. Oh, such
-bright, luxurious rooms! I felt my heart grow a little cold as I looked
-at them. Neither Harry nor Aunt Milly had said a word to me on the
-subject. They thought they could deceive me, I suppose; but the moment I
-saw these apartments, don’t you think I could see what they were planned
-out for? I was to be taken there when he went away.</p>
-
-<p>“And, my dear, what do you think of your Aunt Sarah?” said her kind
-sister, looking rather wistfully into my face.</p>
-
-<p>I was so foolish that I was half afraid to answer. How could I tell that
-our words were not heard behind the screen yonder? And as for meeting
-her eyes I could not have done that for the world.</p>
-
-<p>“But you know she is not my Aunt Sarah,” said I. “It is a love name,
-dear Aunt Milly. I&mdash;I don’t know Miss Mortimer yet; you must let me keep
-it for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“Hush! you have not known me much longer!” cried Aunt Milly, “No such
-thing, child! we are both the same relation to you. Poor dear Sarah! I
-forgot to tell you about her voice. Isn’t it very sad she should have
-lost her beautiful voice? She is very clever too, Milly,” said Aunt
-Milly, with a sigh. “When you know her better you will admire her very
-much.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you know she jilted poor papa,” said I, trying to laugh and shake
-off my dread of the veiled woman downstairs.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear! she jilted half the county!” said Aunt Milly, rather solemnly
-and not without a little pride. “Your Aunt Sarah was the greatest beauty
-that ever was seen when she was as young as you.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_279" id="page_279"></a>{279}</span></p>
-
-<p>This speech made me smile in spite of myself. Dear Aunt Milly, perhaps,
-had been a little slighted by the county. She had no compunction about
-her sister’s prowess. I don’t know that I felt very sorry for her
-victims myself, even poor papa, I fear. But, ah me! what kind of a woman
-was this, I wonder, that had been an enchantress in her day! She was an
-enchantress still. She charmed me, as a serpent, I could suppose, might
-charm some poor creature. I wonder if there was any pity in her, any
-feeling that there was a God and a heaven, and not merely the
-century-old ceiling with the Mortimers’ arms on it, over her where she
-sat? I don’t believe she cared. I don’t think there was anything in the
-world but her own will and inclination, whatever it might be, that ruled
-her in her dreadful solitude. I wonder when she looked across her
-knitting at such a human creature as Aunt Milly how she felt; whether it
-ever came into her head to wonder which of them was contrary to nature?
-But I don’t suppose Miss Mortimer cared anything about nature. In this
-wonderful world, all so throbbing with life and affection, I think she
-must have known nothing but herself.</p>
-
-<p>Thinking like this, you may suppose I could not deceive Aunt Milly to
-make her think I admired her sister. I kept off speaking of her; which,
-of course, though not quite so unpleasant, tells one’s mind clearly
-enough. Aunt Milly gave a little sigh.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear, I see you don’t take to Sarah just at once. I was in hopes if
-you had taken to each other she might, perhaps, have told you something
-of what is on her mind. Because, you know, after all we have heard,
-something must be on her mind, whether she shows it or not. I am afraid
-it is all beginning again now, Milly; but somehow she hasn’t let her
-courage down as she did when that young man was about before. I suppose
-she’s more prepared now. She drove out quite calm yesterday, just as
-usual; though Mr. Luigi’s servant was out here with a letter the very
-day I saw his master at your house.”</p>
-
-<p>“So I heard,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“So you heard! Dear! How did you hear? I know things spread in the most
-dreadful way,” said Aunt Milly, in great distress; “but to think that
-should have reached Chester already! What did you hear?”</p>
-
-<p>“I heard it only from Lizzie, my little maid,” said I, pointing to the
-door of the other room. “Mr. Luigi’s servant and she are great
-friends.”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_280" id="page_280"></a>{280}</span></p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly followed the movement of my hand with her eyes, a little
-awe-stricken. “She must speak his language, for he knows no English,”
-she said, with involuntary respect. “But dear, dear, she’s only a child!
-To be sure she’ll go and publish it all in the servants’ hall. But
-speaking of that, my dear, you ought to have a proper nurse. I felt very
-nervous about baby when I saw her carrying him. She may be big, you
-know, but she’s only a child.”</p>
-
-<p>Here Lizzie, either because she had heard us, or by some sudden impulse
-of her own, knocked pretty loud at the door. I went to it a little
-timidly, rather apprehensive that she had been listening, and meant to
-defend herself. I did Lizzie great injustice however. She was standing
-in a paroxysm of joyful impatience on the other side of the door. I
-don’t believe the most injurious expression applied to herself could
-have reached Lizzie’s ears at that moment. She had her great arms
-stretched out, stooping over little Harry. Her face was perfectly
-radiant and flushed with delight. On they came, baby tottering on his
-own little limbs, half triumphant, half terrified, Lizzie with her wings
-spread out, ready to snatch him up the moment he faltered. Anybody may
-imagine what I did. I dropped down on the floor and held out my arms to
-him, and forgot all my troubles for the moment. When he came tottering
-into my arms, the touch of his little hands swept all the cares and
-sorrows out of the world. It was not for long. But a minute’s joy is a
-wonderful cordial; it strengthens one’s heart.</p>
-
-<p>“And oh, mem!” cried Lizzie, lifting her apron to her eyes, “the
-Captain’ll see him afore he gangs away!”</p>
-
-<p>“Go and fetch him,” cried Aunt Milly, turning her out of the room. Aunt
-Milly was nearly as delighted as she was; but she saw it was hard upon
-me to be continually reminded that Harry was to be gone so soon. By way
-of putting it out of my mind, she began such a lecture about letting
-babies walk too soon, and about weak ankles and bowed legs and all kinds
-of horrors, that I snatched my boy up on my knee, and was as much
-alarmed as I had been overjoyed. When Harry came, and found me half
-frightened to allow baby to exhibit his new accomplishment, and Aunt
-Milly doing her best to soften down her own declarations, and convince
-me that she referred to babies in general, and not to my boy, he burst
-into fits of laughter. I rather think he kissed us all round, Aunt Milly
-and all. He was in very high spirits that day. It did not occur to him
-what a struggle I had come through before I overcame Miss Mortimer’s
-temptation; he was contented to think<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_281" id="page_281"></a>{281}</span> I had fainted from heat and
-excitement and all the fatigue I had been exposed to of late; and it was
-a comfort to him to have my real voluntary consent to his going away.
-Then this was to be my home, and here was my dear kind friend beside me.
-His heart rose, he laughed out his amusement and pleasure with the
-freedom of a young man in the height of his strength and hope. The sound
-startled the unaccustomed walls. I saw Aunt Milly look at him with a
-kind of delighted surprise and pleasure. Youth had not been here for
-long. I wondered did manhood, after Harry’s fashion of it, belong to the
-Mortimers at all? Many a day since, sitting in these silent rooms, the
-echo of Harry’s laugh has come back to me ringing like silver bells. Ah,
-hush! we shall all laugh when he comes back.</p>
-
-<p>But when Lizzie came to take her charge, the expression of the girl’s
-face had completely changed. She took the child away with a certain
-frightened gravity that had a great effect upon me. Aunt Milly had left
-me by this time, and Harry had gone out to see the grounds, leaving me
-to rest. Resting was not very much in my way; of course I got up from
-the sofa the moment they were gone. What good would it do me, does
-anybody suppose, to lie there and murder myself with thinking? I went
-after Lizzie to ask her what was wrong. Lizzie was very slow to answer.
-There was “naething wrang; she wasna minding. The man in blacks had
-asked if she was the nurse or the nursery-maid. But it’s no my place to
-answer questions,” said Lizzie, with indignation, “and thae English
-they’re that saucy, they pretend they dinna ken what I’m saying. Eh, I
-would just like to let them ken, leddies and gentlemen ay ken grand what
-I’m saying! but they’ve nae education: ’Menico says that himsel’.”</p>
-
-<p>“But what does ’Menico know about education, Lizzie?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie looked much affronted. “He mayna maybe ken <i>English</i>,” she said,
-“but he may be a good scholar for a’ that. The tither maids just gape
-and cry La! when he takes the dictionary, and laugh at every word he
-says. He says they’ve nae education, thae English. He’s no’ a common
-servant-man like that man in blacks. He kens a’ the gentlemen’s business
-and what he’s wantin’, and everything about it. Eh,” cried Lizzie,
-opening her eyes wide, and glancing behind her with involuntary caution,
-“do you think yon would be <i>her</i>?”</p>
-
-<p>“Who?” said I. Was it possible that Lizzie knew?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_282" id="page_282"></a>{282}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Mem!” said Lizzie, with national unconscious skill and the deepest
-earnestness, “do you think there’s ony witches in this country, like
-what there was lang syne?”</p>
-
-<p>I was a little startled by the question; it brought back to my mind in
-an instant that extraordinary picture which had so great an effect on my
-own imagination,&mdash;the veiled woman at her knitting with the screen
-behind her chair.</p>
-
-<p>“Or the Evil Eye,” continued Lizzie, with a little gasp of visionary
-terror; “oh dinna say, if ye please, that I’m to bring <i>him</i> into yon
-muckle room! for I would do some ill to the house, or her, or
-myself&mdash;and would be carried, and no ken what I was doing, if she put
-any of her cantrips upon our bairn!”</p>
-
-<p>“Lizzie!” cried I, “child, you forget what you are saying, and where you
-are!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh no, no’ me!” cried Lizzie with vehement tears in her eyes; “but,
-Mem, it maun be her; there’s nae other leddy except our leddy in this
-house. And if I was never to say another word, she’s no canny; I ken
-she’s no canny, if it was only what Domenico says.”</p>
-
-<p>“In the name of wonder what does Domenico say?” cried I, driven to
-despair by the wild words in which there was no meaning. I don’t believe
-she knew herself what the meaning was.</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie stopped short and repeated, with a puzzled and troubled glance at
-me, “When it’s a long story it’s awfu’ fickle to ken,” she said, slowly;
-“but just that yon’s the leddy. Eh, I dinna ken what they ca’ her right,
-nor what ill-will they have at her; but ’Menico, he says&mdash;he says&mdash;Mem,
-you’ll no be angry, it wasna <i>me</i>,&mdash;he says she’s the deil himsel’.”</p>
-
-<p>“Lizzie,” said I, in considerable agitation, “try to recollect; Miss
-Milly wants to know; what <i>does</i> Domenico say?”</p>
-
-<p>Lizzie blushed, and made a long pause again. “You see it’s the
-Dictionary, Mem,” she said, with a sigh. “When he’s tired looking up the
-words, he just gi’es a great burst out in the Italian, and thinks he’s
-explained it a’. It’s awfu’ fickle when it’s a lang story; but just it’s
-<i>her</i>; and eh! I’m sure she’s no canny by what Domenico says.”</p>
-
-<p>I had to be content with this very unsatisfactory conclusion. It was all
-Lizzie could give me,&mdash;it was <i>her</i>; and she was a dreaded mysterious
-person against whom the Italian was struggling in vain. I felt a strange
-thrill of curiosity, deeply as my own mind was pre-occupied. Was it a
-melodrama or a tragedy I was about to be present at? The crisis,
-whatever it<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_283" id="page_283"></a>{283}</span> might be, could not be long delayed. What part were we to
-play in it? why did she want Harry to stay? I did not say anything
-either to him or Aunt Milly of Lizzie’s communication or my own fancies;
-but it seemed to me somehow, when I passed through the rooms or along
-the passages that a certain tingling stillness, the pause before the
-storm, was closing round and round about the house.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_284" id="page_284"></a>{284}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VI-f" id="Chapter_VI-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“W</span><span class="smcap">E</span> were interrupted in our talk yesterday,” said Aunt Milly, “but I
-have not forgotten what you said about your little maid. My dear, I
-don’t think it is worth your while to warn her against talking about
-such matters. When they think a thing’s important, they are all the more
-likely to talk.”</p>
-
-<p>“But you don’t know Lizzie,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“No,” said Aunt Milly, doubtfully. “I always have heard the Scotch were
-faithful servants; but it’s undeniable that they <i>do</i> love to talk.
-Besides, she’s only a child. My dear, has she any particular claim upon
-you?”</p>
-
-<p>“Only that she is an orphan,” said I, “like Harry and me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah, dear child! there’s two of you; it does not matter to you,” cried
-Aunt Milly; then she continued, rather anxiously, “I’d like to know,
-however, what she can tell about this, Milly. Ellis told me a confused
-story about a foreign man coming with a letter, and that he insisted on
-seeing the lady&mdash;the lady! and couldn’t talk no more sense, Ellis says.
-I understood by the description, it must be that man. There couldn’t be
-two fat foreign serving-men in a quiet county like this; and Carson, ‘as
-happened to be in the hall at the moment,’ Ellis tells me, spoke to him,
-‘and they arguifyed for long in a queer language,’ and then he went
-away. I don’t know any more of it, my dear. This Lizzie of yours, if she
-can understand that man, and he told her of it, I wonder does <i>she</i> know
-any more?”</p>
-
-<p>Then I told her of the further particulars which had come under Lizzie’s
-observation, the letter returned and destroyed. Aunt Milly once more
-grew a good deal excited. She walked about the room with a troubled
-face, and many exclamations; but on the whole it gave her comfort. “My
-dear, she can’t be afraid of him now,” said Aunt Milly; and with this
-piece of consolation she went away strengthened to her many businesses,
-for everything evidently is in her hands. That eldest sister of hers,
-whom I cannot call by any name of love, takes no share<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_285" id="page_285"></a>{285}</span> in anything.
-When she does talk, she talks as if she were the sole mistress and ruler
-of the house; but Aunt Milly, though I understand they are quite equal
-in their rights, has all the trouble. It is very strange, but I could
-not feel so comfortable about her sending back that letter as Aunt Milly
-did. To tell the plain truth, a very distinct suspicion had entered into
-my mind about her. It flashed upon me when Mr. Luigi was speaking of
-her, and it grew stronger and stronger every hour I spent in the same
-room, though how it could be, was more than by any amount of thinking I
-could divine. I will not say what my fancy was; I was always too
-imaginative. I don’t want to commit myself till I see whether anything
-will occur to bear me out.</p>
-
-<p>The next day was wet, and I had abundant means of seeing Miss Mortimer.
-I think my foolish faint that first day had quite settled me in her
-opinion. She saw I was a nobody from that moment. Accordingly all that
-rainy afternoon I sat by her in the strangest unsocial way. The fire was
-still kept up, though the weather was warm; and Aunt Milly had stationed
-me in her own easy chair, opposite her sister, and commanding the entire
-length of the room so that I could see who entered at the door, though
-Miss Mortimer could neither see or be seen by any one coming in. The
-five great windows were all very naked and bare, the curtains drawn
-back, and the blinds drawn up, according to Miss Mortimer’s fancy; she
-had always an amount of twilight at her command by movement of her
-screen. These five long lines of cold broad light, the cloudy sky
-looking full down upon us, and the blasts of rain driving against the
-cold transparent fence of glass which separated us from that outdoor
-world, where the early flowers hung their heads in the rain, and the
-shrubs cowered and drew together in the fitful gusts of wind, gave an
-extraordinary atmosphere to the picture. Then that long great mirror at
-the end of the room repeated the five windows in strange perspective,
-and reflected all the maze of space and crowd of furniture in bars of
-light and shadow; while here, in the centre, played the uncertain glow
-of the fire, much too warm, and making the air feel unnatural; and close
-before me sat Miss Mortimer with the screen carefully drawn round her
-chair. She had on her usual dress&mdash;her muslin scarf or shawl, I forget
-which, lined with pale blue silk, and ribbons of the same colour in her
-cap, and black lace mits upon her thin hands, which, when she happened
-to stop for a moment, she rubbed slowly before the fire. She did not
-talk to me. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_286" id="page_286"></a>{286}</span> understand it was very rarely she talked to any one.
-Silently, as if it were some weird work she was about, she knitted on;
-but sometimes, as I was conscious, lifted her eyes from her knitting,
-and continuing her work all the time, surveyed me as I sat helpless
-before her. Every time the door of the room happened to open she
-repeated this. I felt her stare at me, as she might have stared at a
-mirror, to see who had entered the room; and it is impossible to
-describe how I felt under that look. I durst not answer it by turning my
-eyes upon her; but looking past her at the door, as one naturally does
-when the door of the room opens&mdash;and knowing her gaze to be fixed on me,
-I faltered, I trembled, my face burned in spite of myself. This went on
-till, in desperation, I fairly answered her look; then my feelings
-changed. Those blue eyes, which must have paled and chilled with age,
-were gazing with a watchful dread in my face. It was not me she was
-looking at. Her hands went on, in their dreadful inhuman occupation,
-while she found in my face a reflection of who it was that went in, or
-out, by that door behind her. It might be a habit she had got into; but
-I could read in her eyes that she sat there in full expectation of
-somebody or something arriving suddenly, which might startle and
-distress everybody else, but which <i>she</i> knew. Again, I saw the same
-contrast which I had seen between Aunt Milly and Mr. Luigi. This woman,
-like the Italian, was in no perplexity. She was not confused with a
-mystery she could not comprehend, as Aunt Milly was. She knew something
-was coming, and what was coming, and was prepared to defend herself, and
-hide her shame to the death.</p>
-
-<p>Hide her shame! oh, how do I dare say it; how could I venture to say
-that she had disgraced herself, or even to think so? There she sat,
-clothed in a double respect, even by reason of all that made her so
-unlovely and distasteful to me, the real great lady of the house, served
-by everybody, imagining herself quite supreme; the head of the house,
-though she transferred all the trouble of it to other shoulders; Miss
-Mortimer, of the Park, a spotless maiden lady, who might have been, as
-the common story went, had she chosen to marry, almost of any rank she
-pleased. All that I knew; but as I gazed at her, the wild sudden fancy
-that had seized me before, grew stronger and stronger. A kind of
-loathing took possession of me. Shame may be dreadful, must be dreadful;
-but to deserve it, and yet to escape it&mdash;to know one’s self guilty, and
-fight all one’s life against the penalty&mdash;to shut one’s self up, heart
-and voice, like<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_287" id="page_287"></a>{287}</span> that in a corner, waiting for the discovery and
-exposure which has become inevitable&mdash;and resolute by every lie and
-expedient of falsehood to resist and baffle it&mdash;the sight was hideous to
-me. I turned away from her with a feeling of sickness&mdash;then in the
-impulse of the moment I spoke.</p>
-
-<p>“Should not you like to take this seat, Miss Mortimer, if you wish to
-see who comes in at the door?”</p>
-
-<p>“How do you know,” she cried, in her strangled voice, “that I wish to
-see who comes in at the door?”</p>
-
-<p>“I can see it in your eyes,” said I. I could not help a little shudder
-as I spoke. Her only answer was to draw a little further back into the
-twilight of her screen. I don’t think she looked at me again; but she
-did something else when Ellis came in the next time, which was quite as
-characteristic. She listened visibly, with an extraordinary intentness;
-her knitting stopped, though her eyes were bent on it. I could fancy she
-must have heard the very vibration of the man’s foot upon the floor, and
-satisfied herself by its sound what it was.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Milly’s compliments, ma’am, and will you please step into the
-library a moment,” said Ellis to me.</p>
-
-<p>“Who’s in the library, eh?” interrupted Miss Mortimer, before I could
-speak.</p>
-
-<p>Ellis faced round upon her slowly, with evident surprise: “I don’t know
-as it’s nobody, ma’am,” said the man; “Miss Milly has something to show
-the young lady.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who’s in the house? why don’t you answer me? You are making up a
-story,” cried Miss Mortimer, almost with a shriek.</p>
-
-<p>“Nobody, as I know on, but the Captain, as is in the stables, ma’am,
-looking at the colt,” said Ellis, doggedly, “and Miss Milly, as is
-waiting in the library for the young lady, with some pictures to show to
-her, as it looked to me; nor likely to come neither on such a day.”</p>
-
-<p>Instead of resenting this speech as I supposed, Miss Mortimer smiled to
-herself with a nod. She gave a glance out from her screen at the blank
-of cloudy sky and the falling rain. It seemed to soothe her somehow. She
-relapsed back again, and resumed her knitting, without looking at or
-speaking to me. Did it relieve her to be told that nobody was likely to
-come on such a day? Could she imagine a spring shower was motive enough
-to keep the avenging truth away? I cannot tell. Who could tell? I might
-be wronging her cruelly to think of any avenger on his way. But I left
-the room, leaving her there with the blank clouds and rain, with the
-solitary<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_288" id="page_288"></a>{288}</span> gleam of the decaying fire, in the heavy silence and broad
-light of the vast room. She was standing at bay, grim and desperate; but
-she could actually imagine that the fate which pursued her would be kept
-away by the April shower! I cannot express all the wonder, pity, and
-horror that come over my heart&mdash;such strange, strange, inconsequent
-blendings of the dreadful and the foolish were not in any philosophy of
-mine.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_289" id="page_289"></a>{289}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VII-f" id="Chapter_VII-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">FOUND</span> Aunt Milly in the library with some miniatures spread out before
-her. She wanted to show them to me. I can’t tell very well what had
-suggested this to her. She was kept indoors by the rain, and with this
-standing uneasiness in her mind, Aunt Milly naturally sought for some
-means of returning to a discussion of the subject that engaged all her
-thoughts. She made me sit down by her, and silently put one after
-another before me. I could see clearly enough what she meant. A certain
-family resemblance ran through them all, a resemblance which Aunt Milly
-herself had escaped, and of which I believe there was not a trace in my
-features. But one after another these portraits recalled to me the young
-Italian’s face.</p>
-
-<p>“I ought to tell you,” said Aunt Milly in a tremulous tone, “what has
-occurred to my own mind. I have thought of it for some time, but it’s so
-very unlikely that I never could allow myself to think it. I do believe
-he must be my father’s son. Yes, you may well be surprised. I can’t
-think anything else but that my father must have married and had a son,
-and Sarah somehow had bullied him into leaving the child behind, and
-we’ve been deceivers all this time, and the Park has never been ours.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, dear Aunt Milly,” cried I, “with all these terrible thoughts, why
-don’t you satisfy yourself. If you tell Miss Mortimer how much you have
-found out, she certainly cannot help clearing up the rest.”</p>
-
-<p>“Ah! but she <i>can</i> help it&mdash;she is not carried away by her feelings; she
-knows better than to be surprised or anything like that. I have asked
-her and been none the better for it,” cried Aunt Milly, “and the young
-man will not tell me either. Milly, hush! there is certainly some one at
-the door.”</p>
-
-<p>The door bell at the Park was a peculiar one&mdash;it had a solemn cathedral
-sort of sound that rolled through the whole house, and it was only used
-by strangers or visitors on ceremony.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_290" id="page_290"></a>{290}</span> Both of us started violently when
-we heard it; it came upon our consultations like a sudden alarm of
-battle.</p>
-
-<p>“It rains as bad as ever; on such a day who can ring the great bell at
-our door?” cried Aunt Milly. “God help us! if my father walked in at
-that door, I should not feel it was anything out of the way. Nothing
-would surprise me now.”</p>
-
-<p>I could not make her any answer. We both sat perfectly silent, waiting
-for what was to come. As if to heighten the excitement of the moment,
-the rain, which had been falling steadily all day, suddenly became
-violent, and dashed against the windows in torrents. Through all this we
-could hear the great door opened and the sound of voices. My thoughts
-travelled into the great vacant drawing-room where these sounds could
-not fail to reach Miss Mortimer within her screen. What was she doing?
-Could she be sitting there still, dumb and desperate, listening but not
-looking, with a pride and resistance more dreadful in its self-control
-than the wildest passions! I trembled with suspense and wondering
-anxiety in spite of myself. As for Aunt Milly, the miniatures she was
-looking at fell out of her hands. She covered her eyes for an instant,
-and then lifted her scared and pallid face to the door, as if she could
-hear the approaching sounds better, for having her eyes fixed that way.
-There was a pause that I suppose did not endure a minute, but which
-looked like an hour. Then a soft tap at the door; then Ellis entered,
-looking half as pale and anxious as we did&mdash;vaguely frightened he could
-not tell how.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Milly,” he said, in a hasty troubled voice, “the gentleman is here
-as wants Miss Mortimer; what am I to do?”</p>
-
-<p>The old mistress and the old servant looked at each other. The man did
-not know anything, but he knew the involuntary suspicion and dread that
-had somehow gathered about the house.</p>
-
-<p>“What are we to do? God help us, Ellis, I know no more than the baby!”
-cried Aunt Milly under her breath.</p>
-
-<p>She was carried by her excitement beyond her usual discretion. I
-interposed as I best could.</p>
-
-<p>“Let it come to the crisis!” cried I, not being well aware what I said;
-“it must be best to know clearly Aunt Milly&mdash;hush!&mdash;recollect, you know
-nothing&mdash;let him go in.”</p>
-
-<p>She made a convulsive pause and restrained herself; and then the usual
-keeping up of appearances recurred to her mind. “My sister’s voice! you
-know, Milly,” she said,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_291" id="page_291"></a>{291}</span> turning to me as if with a kind of
-apology,&mdash;“who&mdash;who is it, Ellis?”</p>
-
-<p>“It’s&mdash;it’s the foreign gentleman, ma’am,” said Ellis, with a
-sympathetic faltering of his voice.</p>
-
-<p>“Then show him in to Miss Mortimer?” cried Aunt Milly with a gasp over
-the words. “You shouldn’t have spoken so, my dear,” she said as soon as
-he was gone, “servants have nothing to do with our private affairs.
-Dear, dear, it’s surely very cold. It’s the storm come on so suddenly&mdash;a
-hail-storm, I declare. Don’t you feel, Milly, how cold the air has
-grown?”</p>
-
-<p>I made no answer, and she did not expect any. She went up close to the
-library door, and stood there as if listening, shivering now and then
-with the nervous chill of her own emotion. We heard the drawing-room
-door open and shut,&mdash;then silence, silence, something positive, not
-merely an absence of sound. I stood by the table trembling, fancying I
-saw the stranger pass, as if through a picture, up that empty-seeming
-room, with the cold chill daylight spying in, and the motionless,
-conscious creature who feared and yet defied him lurking behind that
-screen. Would she speak to him? If she did it would not be with that
-stifled whispering voice. What communication would pass between them?
-Would the old walls groan with some dark secret fatal to their honour?
-The very air tingled round us in the dead calm of the house. Surely it
-never was so noiseless before. As for Aunt Milly, she stood before me
-shivering at the door, sometimes putting her hand upon the lock, then
-drawing back in irresolute terror. This lasted for some time, though
-most likely for not half so long as I imagined it did; then she turned
-to me, wringing her hands and bursting out into tears and cries.</p>
-
-<p>“I cannot leave her alone any longer, Milly,” she said in broken words.
-“I cannot desert her in time of need;” and made as though she would
-leave the room, and then returned and sank into a chair and hid her face
-in her hands.</p>
-
-<p>She was entirely overwhelmed and broken down. All I could do for her,
-was to get a shawl which hung over the sofa, and wrap it round her. All
-this had been too much for her strength.</p>
-
-<p>In the midst of our suspense, Harry came suddenly in upon us. The sound
-of his honest frank step ringing into the library, startled me back to
-life again, and even Aunt Milly lifted up her blanched face expecting
-him to bring some news.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_292" id="page_292"></a>{292}</span> Harry looked startled and curious, and did not
-grow less so as he looked at our agitated faces.</p>
-
-<p>“What is the matter, Milly?” he cried. “I passed the drawing-room
-windows just now, and looked in thinking to see you. Miss Mortimer was
-standing at a table looking over some papers, and by her side was Luigi,
-talking very earnestly. By Jove! to see them standing there you would
-have said they were mother and son.”</p>
-
-<p>At these words Aunt Milly lifted up her head, listening,&mdash;but Harry’s
-expression did not seem to strike her; she held up her finger and cried
-“Hark!”</p>
-
-<p>The silence was broken. A bell evidently rung&mdash;a door hastily
-opened&mdash;startled us all three standing together. “Shall Harry go after
-him?” cried I, seeing how it was and pointing Harry to the door; but
-Aunt Milly would not, or perhaps could not, suppose that the visitor was
-merely going away. She sprang up, crying, “She must be ill!” and rushed
-out of the library. I followed her, alarmed, but not for Miss Mortimer.
-I saw Luigi standing at the open door, just about to go out into the
-cold rainy world out of doors, but Aunt Milly did not see him. She
-rushed forward blindly into the room where she supposed her sister to be
-ill.</p>
-
-<p>When I rushed in after her I found the usual positions of the two ladies
-much reversed. Miss Mortimer was standing between the fire and the
-window, looking at her sister with a certain fierce scorn. Aunt Milly
-had sunk down in utter exhaustion and bewilderment upon a large ottoman.
-The two were looking at each other, Aunt Milly all trembling, pallid,
-and anxious. Miss Mortimer, with her head more erect than usual, her
-muslin mantle hanging back from her shoulders, her attitude very rigid
-and exact, and no symptom of excitement about her, save in the slight
-hurried incessant movement of her head and hands. A mere spectator would
-have said she was the judge and the other the culprit. It was an
-extraordinary scene.</p>
-
-<p>“What did he say? Who is he? What does he want? Sarah, tell me for the
-love of heaven,” cried Aunt Milly in her agony of distress and terror.</p>
-
-<p>“Who is <i>he</i>? I am not a girl to distinguish any one person by that
-name,” said Miss Mortimer.</p>
-
-<p>Then she went back steadily to her chair, and sat down in it and took up
-her knitting.</p>
-
-<p>“Any one who thinks to surprise me into speaking of my private affairs,
-is mistaken,” she said after a while.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_293" id="page_293"></a>{293}</span> “Gossips like you may talk as
-they please; but what belongs to me is mine, and nobody in the world has
-a right to ask what I either do or say.”</p>
-
-<p>That was all. She never opened her lips again that day. She sat there
-rigid, pretending to work; she did not work however. I noticed that to
-keep her hands and her head from excessive trembling was almost more
-than she was able for; but the day passed without any disclosure. I
-believe now she would die sooner than make any sign.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_294" id="page_294"></a>{294}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_VIII-f" id="Chapter_VIII-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter VIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HAT</span> was a very miserable day. I cannot fancy a more uncomfortable
-position for a stranger than that of being thrust into some distressing
-family secret, almost immediately after his or her introduction to the
-family in which it exists. This was just what had happened to me. I was
-kept one way or the other between those two sisters all the day. Aunt
-Milly kept continually appealing to me with her eyes, for conversation
-would not keep up its fluctuating and feeble existence in presence of
-that figure within the shelter of the screen; and my unlucky position of
-confidante must have been so apparent that I should not have wondered at
-any degree of dislike or displeasure which Miss Mortimer could have
-shown me. She did not show any, however; I could discern no signs of
-aversion to me. What am I saying? I could discern no signs of any human
-feeling whatever in her appearance and behaviour that day. My impression
-was that the sole thing with which her mind was occupied, was the effort
-to keep her head steady, and overcome the nervous, tremulous motion
-which agitated her frame. It was a relic, it might be an evidence, of
-some unseen tempest. But I am firmly convinced that this was the subject
-of all her thoughts. I watched, I must confess, with intense curiosity,
-though as quietly as possible, that she might not see I was watching
-her, every movement she made. But she did not notice me; she scarcely
-noticed anybody; she was careless of what other people were thinking;
-what she laboured after, all that miserable, lingering, rainy night was
-to get the command of herself. She never ventured to unbend her attitude
-in the slightest degree. She set her teeth together sometimes, and made
-her face look ghastly; but she could not keep down that external symptom
-of the trouble or tempest within. Her head kept moving with an incessant
-tremble; her hands were too much agitated to pursue their work. She kept
-the knitting-pins in her fingers, and held them rigidly together, as if
-she were knitting, and sometimes made a few convulsive stitches, and
-dropt them again, and bent in a tragical dismal confusion over that
-trifling occupation of hers, which had grown so weird<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_295" id="page_295"></a>{295}</span> an adjunct of
-herself to me. I watched her with a certain horror and pity which I
-cannot describe. It was not her paltry wealth and lands she was
-defending; it was her honour and her life. There she sat a solitary
-desperate creature driven to bay, with dear Aunt Milly’s vague terrors
-and anxieties revolving about her; but conscious in herself of a misery
-and danger far transcending anything in her innocent sister’s thoughts.
-Life and honour! but I believed there was no way in this world to defend
-them but by unnatural falsehood, cruelty, and wrong, and that she did
-not shrink from these means of upholding herself. Perhaps even a
-virtuous struggle would have exercised less fascination, than the sight
-of that desperate guilty secret resistance. I could not keep my eyes
-from Miss Mortimer. There was something terrible to me in her convulsive
-efforts after stillness, and in the nervous motion which continually
-betrayed her, and which no exertions on her part could overcome.</p>
-
-<p>But she sat out all the lengthy lingering hours of that evening, after
-dinner, for they departed from their usual customs at that time, and
-dined late out of compliment to Harry. We did try to talk a little, but
-Aunt Milly’s thoughts were all astray upon one subject, and she was
-continually breaking off in abrupt conclusions which irresistibly
-suggested the engrossing matter which she dared not enter upon. Miss
-Mortimer, meanwhile, attempted to read her Times; but whether it was
-that the rustle of the paper betrayed the trembling of her hands, or
-that her mind was unfit for reading anything, she soon laid the paper
-by, and resumed her pretence of working. You may suppose that Harry and
-I were not very much at our ease in this strange position of affairs.
-Almost everything that was said among us suggested a something which
-could not be said, yet which occupied everybody’s thoughts. Aunt Milly
-sat flushed and troubled opposite to her sister; her distressed
-perplexed look, the look of one totally at a loss and unable to offer
-any explanation even to herself; her glances, sometimes directing me to
-look at Miss Mortimer, sometimes appealing to me in vain for some
-suggestion which could throw light upon the subject, were enough of
-themselves to betray to any stranger the existence of some secret
-unhappiness in the house. Harry, who was not so much in Aunt Milly’s
-confidence as I was, kept appealing to me on the other side. What was it
-all about? I never wished so fervently for the conclusion of a day as I
-did for that; and yet there must be some extraordinary fascination in
-watching one’s fellow-creatures. I should not like to get<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_296" id="page_296"></a>{296}</span> fairly into
-that dreadful inhuman occupation which people called studying character.
-But I was so curious about Miss Mortimer that I could almost have liked
-to follow her to her own room, and watch, when she was no longer on her
-guard against other people, how she would look and what she would do.
-Would she faint, or cry out, or dash herself against the floor? or was
-she so accustomed to that dreadful secresy that she would not betray
-herself even to herself? She must have lived that dreadful hidden life,
-and locked up all she knew in her own breast for a lifetime; for a
-longer lifetime than mine.</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder,” said Henry, when we were alone that evening, “what sort of a
-person this Miss Mortimer is. Something’s wrong clearly. I suspect there
-must be something in the old lady’s life which will not bear the light
-of day.”</p>
-
-<p>“What makes you think so?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“The t’other old lady and you play into each other’s hands,” cried
-Harry; “you know more about it than you choose to tell. But of course
-you are right enough if it is somebody else’s secret; only recollect,
-Milly, I am very glad you should be an heiress; I am extremely glad you
-will have a house to receive you while I am away, and that come what
-may, <i>that</i> little beggar is provided for; but look here, if there’s
-another relation nearer than you, legitimate or illegitimate, I won’t
-stand by and see him wronged.”</p>
-
-<p>“Harry, tell me what you mean,” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>Harry looked at me a little indignantly; he thought I knew more than he
-did, and was trifling with him. “Milly, who is that fellow Luigi?” he
-said at last.</p>
-
-<p>“I make dreadful guesses,” said I, “but I cannot tell. Aunt Milly knows
-nothing about him. The only idea she can form is that he may be her
-father’s son.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry gave a long, half amazed, incredulous whistle, and turned away. He
-could scarcely believe me. Then I told him all I had heard, and
-something of what I had guessed. We did not converse plainly about this
-guess, which he had evidently jumped at as well as myself. A secret held
-with such dreadful tenacity was not a thing to be lightly discussed; but
-we both felt the same on the subject, only Harry’s mind took a more
-charitable view of it than I did. They say <i>we</i> are always harder on
-guilty women than men are; perhaps it is natural. I felt an abhorrence
-rise within me which I could neither overcome nor disguise at the idea
-of a woman, and especially a woman in such a position as Miss Mortimer,
-having lived a pretended life of honour and innocence all these years,
-with<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_297" id="page_297"></a>{297}</span> that guilt in her mind which nobody knew but she; and now of her
-sacrificing and disowning nature to keep up that dreadful sham. I can
-understand people meeting death rather than disgrace; that is, I mean I
-could understand how one would rather hear that those whom one loves
-should die than disgrace themselves; but I don’t understand an insane
-struggle against the disgrace which one has deserved. That is not a
-noble struggle, so far as I can see; the only way of existing through
-such dreadful circumstances would be by enduring it; and all the same
-whether it was a woman or a man. I do think it is a shame to speak as
-some people speak on this subject, as if the <i>disgrace</i> were all; as if
-all the harm was not done when the wrong was done, whether disgrace came
-or no!</p>
-
-<p>“I’ll tell you what, Milly,” said Harry, “I must say I think it’s very
-hard the poor old lady should lose her good name for something that
-happened an age ago. No doubt, by what we saw to-day, she must have set
-her poor old heart upon resisting and denying it, as foolish people
-always try to do. Now, you know, that’s evidently of no use. Of course a
-mere statement of any such claim having been made, is enough to finish
-Miss Mortimer, with all the gossips of the county, whether it was proved
-or not. Now I shan’t be here for long, and as they seem disposed to be
-so very kind to you&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Don’t, Harry!”</p>
-
-<p>“But I must,” said he. “It will be no end of consolation to me to think
-of you in these pretty rooms which Miss Milly has already prepared for
-you. If I can do them a good turn before I go, I will, you may depend
-upon it. As soon as we return to Chester I’ll see Luigi; and if it can
-be got out of him what he wants, I shall certainly make an effort to
-have him satisfied, and Miss Mortimer left unmolested. It would not do
-if sins of thirty years standing were to be brought against people in
-this way. Why, anybody might be thrown into sudden shame on such a
-principle; and you women, you know, are so vindictive and all that&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, yes! I know,” said I, “and will always be vindictive all the same.
-Imagine this woman standing side by side with Aunt Milly, and considered
-as spotless as she; imagine such a long cruel abominable sin, and no
-retribution overtaking it! Oh, you may be pitiful if you like, but it
-disgusts me.”</p>
-
-<p>Harry laughed. “I should be surprised if it did not disgust you, Milly
-darling,” he said, “but poetic justice is exploded now-a-days. I don’t
-suppose Luigi can be very anxious for her personal affection,
-considering how she seems to have behaved;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_298" id="page_298"></a>{298}</span> and, indeed, to be sure he
-would be fully more disgraced than she. How many days are we to be here?
-I shall see him whenever we return to Chester.”</p>
-
-<p>“Three days longer,” said I, with a sigh. “Somehow this little visit to
-the Park had come to look like a little barrier between me and what was
-coming. Presently we should go back to Chester, and then&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Harry understood my sigh. He repeated the very words I was saying in my
-mind. “And then&mdash;&mdash;” said Harry, “and then, darling, to see which of us
-two is bravest! But it will come hardest upon you, my poor little wife.”</p>
-
-<p>“Harry,” cried I, “don’t speak!” and I went away, and would have no more
-of such talk. It was enough that it was coming; it would be enough when
-it came.</p>
-
-<p>Perhaps the last few words of this conversation were not the best
-preparation possible for sleep. I know I awoke a great many times during
-that long dark night, and once in its deepest darkness and stillness I
-fancied I heard a groan faintly sounding through the wall. Miss
-Mortimer’s rooms were near ours. This sound set all my imagination busy
-again. It was she who groaned under that veil of night. She, so
-dreadfully on her guard all day long, who relieved her miserable heart
-thus when nobody watched her. It was impossible not to feel excited in
-the neighbourhood of such mysterious secrecy. The sound of that groan
-moved me to pity;&mdash;she had not escaped without retribution. Was not that
-dread of the consequences under which she was suffering, worse than the
-very hardest shape the consequences were likely to assume, if they
-themselves ever overtook the sinner?<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_299" id="page_299"></a>{299}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_IX-f" id="Chapter_IX-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter IX.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> next day began much like the previous day; it was still showery and
-damp; and though Harry was out of doors I was prevented, by Aunt Milly’s
-care, from joining him. In the afternoon we were to go out with her on a
-round of inspection to see the neighbourhood, Miss Mortimer having
-volunteered to give up the carriage to us for that purpose, though it
-was the day on which she generally took her drive; and the rector and
-some other near neighbours were to come to dinner in the evening. I was
-once more alone with Miss Mortimer. We sat much as we had done on the
-previous day, opposite each other, the moments passing over us in a
-certain excited silence. She did not say anything to me; she did not
-even look at me. She showed none of that voiceless anxiety to know who
-had come in when the door opened, which struck me before. She was much
-calmed down; the person she expected had come; the blow, whatever it
-was, had been borne; and for the present moment there was an end of it.
-She actually knitted her pattern correctly, and counted her stitches,
-and referred to her book to see if she was correct, as she sat there
-before me in her inhuman calm. Was she a creature of flesh and blood,
-after all? or a witch, like those of the old stories, without any human
-motives in her heart of stone?</p>
-
-<p>I could not help thinking so as I sat beside her. Her head still
-trembled slightly; but I suppose that was an habitual motion. She sat
-there shut up in herself,&mdash;her misery and her relief, and the cold
-dauntless spirit that must have risen from that smart encounter
-yesterday, and gained strength by the very struggle&mdash;hidden from
-everybody round her, as if they had been a world away. I gazed and
-wondered, almost trembled, at that extraordinary death in life. She who
-had all the tumult of passion and guilt in her memory; she who must have
-entered into the fullest excitement of life, and got entangled in its
-most dreadful perplexities; she who was no ascetic, nor even pretended
-to that rival excitement of the devotee which might have replaced the
-other; how could she have lived silent and obdurate through those
-dreadful years? The very thought of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_300" id="page_300"></a>{300}</span> them struck me aghast. After her
-life of flattery, admiration, and universal homage; after her
-experience, whatever that might be, of more personal passions, to drop
-for a longer time than my whole life behind that screen into that chair!
-As I sat opposite to her, my thoughts turned back to that other Miss
-Mortimer, whom I had placed in imagination in my grandfather’s house.
-Once more I thought I could see that large low room which I never had
-seen, except in fancy, with the ancient beauty sitting silent by the
-fire amid the ghosts of the past. Was this the true impersonation of
-that dream of mine? Was this the Miss Mortimer, with her foreign count,
-whom Mrs. Saltoun remembered? As this recurred to me I could scarcely
-help a little start of quickened curiosity and eagerness. It seemed to
-flicker before me as a possible interpretation of all this dark enigma,
-could only the connecting link be found. As I was wandering deeper and
-deeper into these thoughts&mdash;so deep as to forget the strange position I
-stood in, and the possibility of being taken for a kind of domestic spy,
-which had embarrassed me at first&mdash;I heard a little commotion outside.
-The door, perhaps, was ajar, or it might be simply that my ears were
-quickened by hearing a little cry from baby, and Lizzie’s voice
-belligerent and full of determination. I got up hastily and went to the
-door. I don’t think Miss Mortimer even lifted her eyes to notice my
-movement. It was certainly Lizzie in some conflict with one of the
-authorities of the house; and Lizzie, as the natural and primitive
-method of asserting her own way, had unconsciously elevated her voice; a
-proceeding which alarmed baby, and also, as it appeared, her antagonist.
-I ran and threw the door open as I heard another cry from my little boy.
-There, outside, was a curious scene. Lizzie, in her out-of-doors dress,
-just returned from a walk in the garden with baby, with her face a
-little flushed, and her plentiful hair somewhat blown about by the wind,
-was resolutely pressing forward to enter the drawing-room, where, to be
-sure, she had no business to come; while holding her back by her cloak,
-and whispering threats and dissuasions, was a person whom I had scarcely
-seen before, but whom I knew at once to be Carson, Miss Mortimer’s maid.
-Lizzie was greatly excited; and what with managing the baby and
-resisting this woman, while at the same time possessed with some mission
-which she was evidently determined to perform, looked fatigued and
-exhausted too.</p>
-
-<p>“But I <i>will</i>,” cried Lizzie, with her eyes flashing. “I’m no heeding
-whether it’s my place or no. I promised I would gi’e<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_301" id="page_301"></a>{301}</span> it into her ain
-very hand; and do ye think I’m gaun back o’ my word? I tell ye I <i>will</i>
-gie’t to the leddy mysel’. Eh, mem!” she exclaimed, breathlessly, with a
-sudden change of her tone as she saw me, “I met Menico at the gate, and
-I promised to gi’e it into the leddy’s ain hand.”</p>
-
-<p>When I approached, Carson fell back; she shrank, I could fancy, from
-meeting my eyes. Her hand dropped from Lizzie’s cloak; she was as much
-afraid to be supposed to interfere as she was anxious to interfere in
-reality.</p>
-
-<p>“My missis’s nerves, ma’am,” said Carson, glibly, but in a half whisper,
-“is not as strong as might be wished. If the young person, ma’am, would
-give it to me, or&mdash;&mdash;. You see the ladies at the Park they’re known for
-charity, and beggars’ letters, or such like, they’re too excitin’ for my
-missis’; they puts her all in a tremble&mdash;it’s on her nerves.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, mem,” cried Lizzie, “I canna go back o’ my word.”</p>
-
-<p>I stood between them, much perplexed and bewildered. The anxiety of Miss
-Mortimer’s maid was evident; and Lizzie, from whose arms baby had
-instantly struggled as soon as he saw me, was greatly excited. At this
-moment she produced the letter which was in question. Carson made a
-stealthy spring to seize it, but recollecting herself, drew back, and
-looked up guilty, but deprecating in my face. I don’t know whether it
-was a desire to clear up the mystery, or the cruel curiosity of an
-observer of character that decided me. I dismissed Carson coldly, saying
-I would ring if Miss Mortimer wanted her, and told Lizzie to follow me
-into the room. Lizzie’s excitement sank into awe as she trod softly
-through this great, faded, magnificent apartment. Before she reached the
-screen which sheltered Miss Mortimer, she was almost speechless with
-half superstitious reverence. I am sure she would willingly have given
-her letter to Carson or anybody at that moment. The very fact that the
-person she was about to confront was thus concealed from her overawed
-her simple mind. When she actually emerged from behind the screen, and
-came in full sight of Miss Mortimer, Lizzie’s healthful face was
-perfectly colourless, and her frame trembling. The supreme awkwardness
-of the attitude into which she fell, the spasmodic rudeness with which
-she thrust out that hand that contained the letter, the fright and
-consternation visible in every twist of her person, would have been
-painfully ludicrous if there had been any time to observe it. Miss
-Mortimer raised her eyes and stared at the strange figure before her.
-Almost absurd as that figure was in its dismay and terror, her mind was
-not sufficiently at ease to be<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_302" id="page_302"></a>{302}</span> simply surprised. Any strange apparition
-had a right to appear before this woman in her intrenchments of dumb
-resistance. As I stood by looking on, I could understand the feeling
-which worked in her eyes. She was not surprised. No miracle could have
-surprised her. She was rather asking in her heart, “Who is this new
-assailant? Who will come next?”</p>
-
-<p>“If ye please, it’s a letter,” said Lizzie, in a tremulous voice.</p>
-
-<p>Miss Mortimer made no attempt to take the letter. She said, “Who are
-you?” with a strange curiosity; as if, amid all the powers that had a
-secret right to assail her in her conscious guiltiness, this was a new
-hobgoblin whom she could not well connect with the others. If there were
-any purgatory, I could fancy a poor soul there asking in the same tone
-the name of the new imp who came to torment it.</p>
-
-<p>This was more than Lizzie could bear. I don’t know what perplexed
-terrors and superstitious ideas of evil influence brought back the blood
-to her cheeks. She trembled all over under that eye, which had suggested
-the idea of the Evil Eye to Lizzie, and to which she was determined
-never to expose “our bairn.” She must have endured a kind of martyrdom
-as she stood under its steady gaze. “Eh, me? I’m no onybody,” cried
-Lizzie, shivering with excitement; “it’s just a letter. I said I would
-gi’e it into the leddy’s own hand.”</p>
-
-<p>Miss Mortimer turned upon me&mdash;on the child&mdash;on the very mirror on the
-further wall, a look of silent defiance; she seemed to look round to
-call upon the very apartment in which we sat to witness what she did.
-Then she took the letter from Lizzie’s rigid fingers, and with scarcely
-a motion, except of her hand, dropped it into the fire. After she had
-done it, she turned again to us with another steady look, and even with
-a smile; triumphant!&mdash;with a certain gleam of devilish satisfaction in
-her success, as if she had baffled us all once more. But in that very
-moment, while she still smiled, I could see her hold herself fast
-between the arms of her chair, to keep down the nervous tremor which
-seized her. That resisting, defying spirit was lodged in nothing
-stronger than a human frame. Her head shook, steadied, trembled again,
-with a force beyond all her power of control. With all that soul of
-successful evil in her face, her head shook as if with the palsy of
-extreme old age, and in spite of the most convulsive strenuous efforts
-to keep it still. I was nearly as much awe-struck as Lizzie. I stole out
-of sight of her as the girl did. Never was there such a picture! She
-could conquer nature, truth, and every human<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_303" id="page_303"></a>{303}</span> feeling; but she could not
-conquer those tremulous chords and threads of mortal flesh which refused
-to be in the conspiracy. She sat there dumbly defying every scrutiny,
-but with the smile growing fixed and ghastly on her face as she tried,
-with her utmost desperate feeble strength, and failed, to defy and
-overcome herself.</p>
-
-<p>I asked Lizzie no questions as she came upstairs after me. I did not say
-anything to her when I heard her sobbing out her agitation in her own
-room. There was not a word said between us when she came refreshed by
-that little ebullition, and by the necessary arrangement of her
-wind-blown hair and dress, to take charge of little Harry. When I had
-given the child up to her, I went downstairs again, quite silent and
-eager. You may very well ask why. I cannot defend myself. I went down
-with no better motive than to watch Miss Mortimer, and see if anything
-more could be found out.</p>
-
-<p>When I went into the room I saw nobody, but heard some voices and
-movement behind the screen. I believe if Miss Mortimer had been speaking
-in the ordinary human voice, I should not have heard her at that
-distance; but I did hear that strange stifled whisper almost as well as
-if it had been hissed into my ear.</p>
-
-<p>“I must deny, deny, deny,” said the strange voice. “Don’t speak to me,
-you know nothing about it. It is the only strength I have.”</p>
-
-<p>“But, oh! dear, dear, such a pretty young gentleman!” said the other
-speaker, in a tone of weeping but hopeless remonstrance.</p>
-
-<p>“Let him prove his rights,” said Miss Mortimer.</p>
-
-<p>I obeyed my instincts, and fled out of the room as I heard that she was
-stirring behind the screen. And I had not been mistaken in the guess I
-made. She came out a few minutes later, leaning on Carson’s arm, leaning
-heavily, with her head trembling like that of a palsied person; but her
-eyes full of that dreadful self-possession, knowledge and resistance. I
-trembled, too, as I stood aside to let her pass. She did not say
-anything, though she stared hard at me. The maid, though she did her
-best to make up her usual face when she saw me there, was evidently
-overpowered with anxiety and distress.</p>
-
-<p>There was, then, one other individual who knew that secret&mdash;one creature
-who loved that dreadful old woman, and in whom she trusted. I could not
-help standing still to look after them as they went upstairs. Carson was
-very little younger than her mistress. She had a naturally anxious look,
-as well she<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_304" id="page_304"></a>{304}</span> might if she had been for years the depository of this
-secret. I could not help picturing their life to myself as they went
-upstairs: the innocent woman troubled and tearful, the guilty woman calm
-and immovable, but for that trembling of her frame which even her
-remorseless will was not strong enough to subdue. I could understand
-better now how she kept alive, and could preserve that frightful
-stillness of hers. Upstairs, in their own apartments, no doubt another
-life went on; a life of recollections and schemes which no one knew of,
-a life palpitating full of those past years of which Miss Mortimer gave
-no sign. That was how she kept herself alive. I could not do anything
-but stand still, watching them, as they went slowly up to that
-retirement, where the mask could be laid off and the veil drawn. When
-they were out of sight, I strayed into the great vacant drawing-room,
-unable to withdraw my thoughts from this strange pair. “I must deny,
-deny, deny!” That was the position she had taken. Could any one in
-existence&mdash;could Luigi, a sensitive and high-minded young man as he
-seemed to be&mdash;seek motherly love from such a woman as this? Motherly
-love! it was dreadful even in thought to apply such words to anything
-that could come from her. Shame only, shame to both. What motive could
-he have to go on seeking her? for Nature had evidently no place in her
-heart of stone.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_305" id="page_305"></a>{305}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_X-f" id="Chapter_X-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter X.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">“B</span><span class="smcap">UT</span>, dear, dear, where’s Sarah?” cried Aunt Milly, when some time later
-she came into the room.</p>
-
-<p>I felt almost as guilty as if I had suddenly got some share in Miss
-Mortimer’s secret. “She was going upstairs when I came in,” said I; but
-I could not find it in my heart to say what new accident had done this.</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly looked at her chair and her footstool, and the work-basket
-she had left behind, as if she might possibly ascertain something from
-them. “My dear, it will be well to avoid the strangers to-night,” she
-said, nodding her head, as if this conclusion was, on the whole, not
-unsatisfactory; “and, indeed, Milly, though you may think it strange of
-me to say so, I am not sorry; for Miss Kate, I am afraid, would be very
-likely to mention something about that poor young man, whoever he may
-be!” said Aunt Milly, with a sigh. “Dear, dear, to think what troubles
-people make, both for themselves and others, that might be avoided by a
-little openness. Why couldn’t he have told me, my dear? If he has
-claims, I’d have seen him satisfied to the very last farthing, Milly!
-and if he hasn’t claims, why should he persecute Sarah and me?”</p>
-
-<p>“But it might be something he couldn’t tell,” said I, rashly.</p>
-
-<p>“Something he couldn’t tell? What do you mean, child? What sort of a
-connection could he have with our family that he <i>couldn’t tell</i>?” cried
-Miss Milly. “I see what you mean. He might be a natural son. Harry has
-put that into your head, now, for I am sure you never could have thought
-of it of yourself. Milly, Milly, it’s dreadful to say, but I’d be more
-thankful than I can tell you, to know that he was. I shouldn’t forget he
-was my father’s son all the same; he should be amply provided
-for&mdash;<i>amply</i>, my dear; ah, but it’s far too good news to be true; and,
-besides, what would Sarah care for him, if he were illegitimate? It
-could not hurt us in the least. Nothing, but what would be an injury to
-us, can explain Sarah’s looks.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_306" id="page_306"></a>{306}</span> Don’t let us think of it any more,
-Milly. Come and show me, dear, what you’re going to wear to-night. I
-should like you to look pretty, though they are all old people; for
-they’re old <i>friends</i> as well. Come upstairs with me, and show me what
-you are to have on.”</p>
-
-<p>I went, not without some trepidation, for I did not know what Aunt Milly
-would say when she knew I had nothing but white muslin. She did shake
-her head when she saw it spread out ready to put on. She even faltered
-forth some half questions as to what I had in my wardrobe, whether I had
-not a nice&mdash;&mdash;; but there dear Aunt Milly stopped. She would not hurt my
-feelings whatever I might wear; and I don’t deny I felt a little
-mortified myself to see it laid out like a little girl’s best frock.
-However, I am thankful to say Harry never had an idea that it was not
-the very best thing I could wear.</p>
-
-<p>“There are some lace flounces,” said Aunt Milly, half to herself, eyeing
-the poor white frock over again, “that might brighten it up a little;”
-then she turned round suddenly and kissed me by way of apology. “My
-dear, don’t be affronted, I’m sure you will look very pretty in
-it;&mdash;only I should have preferred, just for this one night,&mdash;but, to be
-sure, you never thought of bringing out all your things for such a short
-visit, and us such quiet people. Never mind, Milly dear, it will look
-very nice, I am sure. I have a very pretty scarf you shall wear thrown
-over it; it may not be quite in the fashion; but fine lace never goes
-out of fashion, you know. I mean to give it you anyhow; and here’s a
-little jewel-box, with some ornaments in it; I used to wear them myself
-when I was a girl, and I had them reset just for a little remembrance of
-this visit. Put them on, for my sake, to-night; and remember, dear, that
-what we’ve been talking about so much these few days is a family secret.
-If anybody should say anything that seems to touch on it, or should even
-mention Mr. Luigi’s name, don’t look as if you were conscious of
-anything. It <i>may</i> come to nothing, you know. I am very glad you like
-them, my dear. I am quite pleased I thought of it. But recollect, Milly,
-my love, to be on your guard.”</p>
-
-<p>With these words she left me, running away from my thanks for her
-present. I was very much pleased with her present, and even at that
-moment, when people might suppose I had more serious things to think of,
-I must say it did give me a flutter of gratification to find bracelets
-in the jewel-box. How kind and thoughtful it was of Aunt Milly! I wonder
-if<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_307" id="page_307"></a>{307}</span> she knew I hadn’t any? I showed them to Lizzie, who thought anything
-so grand had never been seen, and to baby, who would have liked to have
-them to play with, and finally to Harry when he came in, and I had to
-prepare for our drive. Harry found some fault (of course) with their
-style, but was quite as pleased as I was. And, indeed, it was very good
-of him to be pleased, for I had almost to go down on my knees to him to
-keep him from buying me something of the kind when we came to Chester,
-and he naturally grudged that any one should give them to me but
-himself.</p>
-
-<p>To think of me saying so much about such a small affair as bracelets,
-when things so much more important were surrounding us on every side! I
-am afraid to say it, but it is true, that when I went down into the
-drawing-room that evening I was thinking too much about my beautiful
-scarf and these same bracelets to notice, at the first moment, who was
-there. The first thing that brought me to myself was hearing the voice
-of Miss Mortimer behind her screen. I was so amazed that, instinctively,
-without giving any reason to myself for it, I pushed forward to see her.
-There she sat, that dreadful, wonderful witch of a woman&mdash;so far from
-being moved by any feeling of nature which might have led her to avoid
-the strangers, as innocent Aunt Milly supposed&mdash;sitting there as if on a
-throne, entirely assuming the part of mistress of the house, and
-receiving the homage of her guests. Evidently everybody was
-surprised&mdash;everybody had understood Miss Mortimer to have withdrawn from
-any but the most secluded life and I do not think I ever felt such a
-thrill of wonder and pity, and almost horror, as when, after all I had
-seen and noted, after her convulsive trembling and watchful readiness
-for any attack, after the way in which, this very day, she had
-retreated, stubborn but exhausted, upstairs, I saw her sitting here, in
-full evening dress, with jewels and ornaments; her watchful eyes
-gleaming stealthily round, and her ears alive to every sound.</p>
-
-<p>As I came forward I caught sight of Aunt Milly sitting silent by herself
-by a table, with a face full of the deepest perplexity and distress. She
-raised her troubled eyes to me, and grasped at my hand for a moment, as
-if to strengthen herself. She could not make it out&mdash;any attempt to
-decipher her sister’s purpose was in vain to Aunt Milly&mdash;the light might
-as well have tried to comprehend the darkness. But I had not time to say
-anything to her. Miss Mortimer had called Harry, who drew me along with
-him; and it was she who introduced us to<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_308" id="page_308"></a>{308}</span> the rector and his sister, and
-to that heavy old Sir George, and the Penrhyns of Eden Castle. I am sure
-I cannot tell what she said; it was principally Harry she spoke of, and
-I remember that she called him their heir and nearest relation, which
-gained us a very flattering reception from the strangers. But the mere
-fact of seeing her there, with her bare arms and shoulders shining thin
-through just such another scarf as I had on, and her eyes meeting
-everybody else’s with a certain wide-open vigilant stare, and her head
-held stiffly erect to dissemble that trembling, which, even still, she
-could not overcome, at once confounded and engrossed me so much that I
-could observe nothing else. Harry got into conversation with the
-gentlemen, and Miss Kate, from the Rectory, a woman evidently full of
-curiosity and enterprise, seized upon Miss Mortimer. I managed to get
-away to Aunt Milly; she took my hand again, and pressed it almost
-painfully. “My dear, what do you suppose <i>this</i> means?” said Aunt Milly,
-looking wistfully up in my face.</p>
-
-<p>“To defy everybody,” I said, scarcely knowing what I was saying; “but,
-dear Aunt Milly, you warned me to be on my guard. You look so troubled,
-people will fancy something is wrong.”</p>
-
-<p>When I said that, she got up hastily and joined the others. I can’t tell
-how the strangers felt; but for all of us who belonged to the house, it
-is impossible to imagine any scene more extraordinary. To see the
-dauntless, unnatural wickedness of that woman facing and defying
-everybody&mdash;to see her take the principal place, and ignore the troubled,
-terrified sister, whose guests these people really were&mdash;out of all the
-mysterious veil of secrecy and darkness in which she had been wrapped,
-to watch her emerging thus, not only as if nothing were wrong with her,
-but as if, in reality, she was the soul of everything, and dear Aunt
-Milly only her shadow and servant! When Miss Mortimer took the head of
-the table at dinner, and Aunt Milly astonished, and not knowing what to
-make of it, dropped into a seat near the foot, where Harry was, our
-dismay and wonder were nearly at their climax. Aunt Milly clasped my
-hands hard; she had got a chair placed in the corner beside me, and
-whispered&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>“I don’t mind it, my dear, don’t think I mind it. If all was well, and I
-had known her meaning!”</p>
-
-<p>I understood that perfectly; but then all was not well, and nobody had
-known the weird woman’s meaning. Now she had it all in her own hands.
-With her grey hair, and her thin<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_309" id="page_309"></a>{309}</span> bare aged shoulders peeping out of her
-scarf, she made a dreadful pretence of flirting with that old Sir
-George; and curious Miss Kate sat scrutinising her, and making perpetual
-remarks; and Aunt Milly and I looked on with awe and alarm which I could
-not describe. I could scarcely answer Mr. Penrhyn when he spoke to me. I
-fear he must have thought me a very poor representative of the
-Mortimers. But I could not keep my attention from that figure at the
-head of the table. I could not help wondering, did she see the writing
-and the man’s hand upon the wall? for in all her pretences, and
-affectations, and coquetries,&mdash;those strange coquetries, and gestures,
-and movements of the head and hands, which might have been pretty in a
-young beauty, but were so dismal in a white-haired old woman&mdash;remember,
-<i>she never once forgot</i>. I could see it plain in her eyes all the time.
-If the handwriting had come upon the wall, as it did in Belshazzar’s
-palace, it would not have surprised her. No allusion that could be made
-would shock or startle her. She knew everything that could come; and, in
-her devilish daring, she was prepared for all.</p>
-
-<p>I hope it is not very wicked of me to use such words; indeed, I cannot
-tell what others I could use.</p>
-
-<p>Things went on so till we got back to the drawing-room, which was a
-relief in its way. And by dint of continuing so long, the pressure had,
-of course, grown easier, and I had actually begun to make a little
-acquaintance with Mrs. Penrhyn, who was young, and had little children
-of her own, and quite insisted I should take her upstairs to see baby,
-when I was suddenly recalled from that very agreeable talk we were just
-falling into, by the sharp voice of Miss Kate.</p>
-
-<p>“Have you heard any more of that young Italian, Miss Milly?” said Miss
-Kate; “he that struck me, you know, as having so odd a resemblance to
-your family?&mdash;very strange! and did you not perceive it yourself? I hear
-he has been seen about here again, and his servant, that stout person.
-Ah, how very sad he doesn’t know English, that poor fellow! perhaps he
-has picked up a little since. Of all the sad things in the world, I know
-nothing so melancholy as being in the midst of light, and yet, for such
-a trifling thing as the want of language, remaining in darkness. I have
-never forgiven myself for neglecting Italian since that day. Ah, I wish
-I knew Italian as you do, Miss Mortimer. Who can tell what use I might
-have been to that poor benighted man!”</p>
-
-<p>I had turned aside, with the words stopped on my very lips,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_310" id="page_310"></a>{310}</span> to listen.
-So had Aunt Milly, looking aghast, and with every tinge of colour
-blanched from her face. Miss Mortimer did not observe me; but she
-noticed her sister, and stared at her with actually a little pause and
-smile of malice, to direct everybody’s attention to her startled face,
-before she spoke.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t speak even my own language now,” was all Miss Mortimer said;
-and all the time looked at Aunt Milly with that derisive look, as if to
-show that whoever was agitated by this reference it was not herself. I
-was so wicked as to think she meant to turn over the scandal, if any
-should rise, upon her sister; and it made my blood boil; but, to be
-sure, I was quite in error there.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, I am sure after to-night&mdash;!” cried Miss Kate; “Indeed, my dear Miss
-Mortimer, I must congratulate you. I hope it is the beginning of a new
-life. If you would but take a little interest in the parish, with your
-improved health, I am sure it would do so much good; and if you should
-happen to meet that unfortunate young man, and would be induced to
-explain the truth to him a little in his own language&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here Miss Mortimer gave an extraordinary kind of gasp, without, however,
-uttering any sound. Nobody observed it but me, as my eyes were fixed on
-her. Then she spoke as if she could not help herself, drawing back into
-the shadow.</p>
-
-<p>“He speaks English!” she said, with an extraordinary tone of being
-compelled to say something&mdash;as if some influence within her had
-constrained the words from her unwilling tongue.</p>
-
-<p>“But, ah, it is the servant I speak of,” cried Miss Kate; “one soul is
-just as precious as another; it is he, poor unfortunate man! If you
-should meet him in any of your drives,&mdash;he is very stout, and has a
-large beard, and is so completely the foreigner that you can’t mistake
-him,&mdash;if you would only stop the carriage and say a word in season.”</p>
-
-<p>There was another wonderful contraction of all the muscles of Miss
-Mortimer’s face, and this time a kind of hysterical sound came with it.</p>
-
-<p>“If I meet him,” she said, slowly, “I’ll give him a word in
-season&mdash;don’t be afraid,” and she laughed.</p>
-
-<p>It made me shiver and tremble all over. I was thankful that Ellis came
-that moment with tea, and I could get up and go into another corner of
-the room to recover myself. I don’t know how Aunt Milly bore it. She had
-not a particle of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_311" id="page_311"></a>{311}</span> colour in her face the whole evening after. But Miss
-Mortimer went upstairs steadily when all the guests were gone. I do not
-know what befell when she got into her own room. I do not think they had
-much rest there that night. If she had fallen down in a fit, or expired
-at the head of the table that evening, it would not have surprised me.
-She had lived through it; but I am sure neither she nor her poor
-faithful maid closed their eyes that night.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_312" id="page_312"></a>{312}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XI-f" id="Chapter_XI-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> day after that, was the day we had fixed to go back to Chester. Miss
-Mortimer did not come downstairs; but Carson came to me with a little
-packet while I was helping Lizzie to pack up baby’s things. The poor
-woman looked ill and strange herself. She had a scared terrified
-expression, as if she were afraid of everybody, and looked so worn-out
-and exhausted that I could scarcely help telling her, for pity’s sake,
-to go and get some sleep.</p>
-
-<p>“My missis sends her love,” said Carson, “and she’s very sorry she can’t
-come downstairs to see you, ma’am, nor the Captain, but hopes it won’t
-be long till you’re here again; and sends you this, and her love.”</p>
-
-<p>“Is Miss Mortimer ill?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>Carson hesitated before she answered.</p>
-
-<p>“It’s on her nerves,” she said, at last, faltering; “it’s&mdash;I mean, to be
-sure, she’s a little overtired because of overdoing of herself last
-night. It was out of compliment to the Captain, ma’am, and you. My
-missis has a great spirit; but it’s the body as is weak.”</p>
-
-<p>“Yes,” said I, unable to restrain the impulse; “but, oh, don’t you think
-she has just too great a spirit? What if it kills her one of these
-days?”</p>
-
-<p>The woman flashed up for a moment into an attempt of resentment and
-dignity, but, partly from her weakness and watching and want of sleep,
-broke down immediately, and shed a few tears in her apron. The poor
-creature’s heart was moved. “If it kills her she’ll die; but she’ll
-never give in,” sobbed Carson; and then, recovering herself all at
-once&mdash;“it’s on the nerves, that’s what it is,” said the faithful
-servant, and hurried away.</p>
-
-<p>It was some time before I cared to open Miss Mortimer’s packet. It
-contained two rings, one of them a slight turquoise thing, which was for
-me, and the other a fine diamond, which<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_313" id="page_313"></a>{313}</span> was to be given to my husband.
-“Tell him it’s a family jewel,” said a little accompanying note. I put
-it down on Harry’s dressing-table, where he would find it when he came
-in. <i>I</i> would not put such a present on his finger; besides, it was best
-he should have it direct from herself&mdash;she had always received <i>him</i> as
-the representative of the Mortimers, and not me.</p>
-
-<p>And then Aunt Milly came upstairs to kiss and cry over us. I was very
-sad myself, as was natural. There was nothing now between me and Harry’s
-going, but a few weeks&mdash;rather a few days. I should look straight into
-the face of that dreadful approaching moment when we turned our backs on
-the Park.</p>
-
-<p>I could not cry as Aunt Milly did. I felt to myself as if I had been
-trifling all this time, taken up with other people’s affairs, and making
-friends with strangers, while every hour was bringing us closer to that
-day. Dear Aunt Milly held me fast in her arms, and whispered everything
-in the world she could think of to console me: that I had baby; that I
-should have letters regularly; that the war would not last long; that I
-must trust God, and pray. Ah, as if I did not know all that! if I had
-not known it and gone over it all in my own mind a thousand times, there
-might have been some comfort in what she said.</p>
-
-<p>“And look here,” said Aunt Milly, thrusting a purse into my pocket&mdash;not
-into my hand, to give me a chance of putting it back again&mdash;“he is our
-representative, dear. He is not to go a step till he has
-everything&mdash;everything you can so much as think upon to make him
-comfortable. Now, Milly, don’t say a word. I’ll think you don’t love me
-if you say a word. Will it be any comfort to you, or me, to think here’s
-some paltry money left, and Harry gone to fight for us all without
-something that would make him comfortable? You’d work your fingers off
-to get it for him, and you have no excuse for denying me. Don’t say
-anything to Harry, child. Men don’t understand these things. It’s
-between you and me; and, please God, we’ll tell him all our schemes when
-we get him back safe, the dear fellow. But, dear, what is that on the
-table? Sarah’s diamond! that one she has always had such a fancy for.
-Has she sent it to you?”</p>
-
-<p>“To Harry,” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“To Harry! Dear, dear, what creatures we are!” cried Aunt Milly, much
-agitated, and bursting in tears again. “Poor Sarah! she’s not so
-hard-hearted as you and me were thinking,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_314" id="page_314"></a>{314}</span> Milly. Oh, God help her; if
-He would only bring her to deal true and fair, and have out this trouble
-in the face of day, there might be some comfort yet for her in this very
-life!”</p>
-
-<p>I made no answer. I did not love Miss Mortimer, as I suppose, in some
-sort of way, her sister did; and, besides, my thoughts were all turned
-in another direction again. I had ceased to see the Park and its
-troubles so acutely as I had done for some days past. My mind was
-returned to my own private burden. I had little to say to anybody after
-that. I turned away even from Aunt Milly, with a dreadful feeling that I
-was not to see her again till Harry was gone. For I knew in my heart,
-though they never said anything to me, that this was how it was to be.</p>
-
-<p>I had not the heart to talk even to Harry, as we drove slowly back to
-Chester&mdash;slowly, as I fancied. We went in the carriage all the way. We
-had no railway or tunnel to go through this time. Nothing to help me to
-a moment’s delusion of plunging away to the end of the world, or into
-the bowels of the earth, it did not matter which, <i>all together</i>. That
-was impossible. Miss Mortimer’s carriage put nothing in my mind but the
-inevitable parting, and all that was to happen to me after Harry was
-gone.</p>
-
-<p>When we got to our Chester lodgings, Domenico was there, as usual, full
-of the noisiest, kindest bustle, to help in getting everything in, as if
-he had belonged to us, instead of belonging to a stranger, who, most
-likely, had little reason to bear the heirs of the Mortimers any good
-will. Mr. Luigi was standing at the window all the time, looking at the
-carriage, the horses, the servants; thinking, perhaps, they might all
-have been his under different circumstances. How can I tell what he was
-thinking? I am sure at that moment, though I observed him at the window,
-I took no pains to imagine what his thoughts were, and did not care. I
-did not care for anything just then.</p>
-
-<p>It was one of my bad times. It was one of the hundred partings which I
-had with Harry before the real parting came. When the things were lifted
-out of the carriage, I could see them all in my own mind lifted in
-again, all but Harry’s share of them, and myself sitting blind in that
-corner with all the world dark before me. Well, well; it is no use
-reasoning over it, as if that would make things any better. Thousands
-and thousands were just the same as me; did that make it any better, do
-you suppose? I thought of the poor woman in the<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_315" id="page_315"></a>{315}</span> Edinburgh High Street,
-and her hard damp hand that pressed mine. I was a soldier’s wife like
-all the rest. I went up into my own room and got Harry’s old sash again,
-and bound it tight over my heart. It gave me a kind of ease, somehow.
-And to hear baby shouting at sight of his old toys, and Harry calling
-for his Milly darling, downstairs! It was an agony of happiness and
-anguish; it was life.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_316" id="page_316"></a>{316}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XII-f" id="Chapter_XII-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HE</span> very next day Sara Cresswell came to see me. I cannot say that I was
-very glad, for I grudged everything now that did not belong to the one
-business which was engrossing us. I had been out that morning with Harry
-trying to get things that were necessary for him. I don’t mean the
-common articles of his outfit, for these, now that we had money enough,
-could be ordered at once without contriving; but the little conveniences
-that might make him more comfortable. He protested that I would load him
-with so many contrivances for comfort that comfort would be impossible;
-and, I daresay I was foolish. But he let me do it without more than just
-laughing at me. He knew it was a sort of consolation. When Sara came the
-room was in a litter with all sorts of portable apparatus; things for
-cooking, and lamps, and portable dressing things, and the wonderful
-convenient portmanteaus they make now-a-days. I was putting them all
-together, and comparing, and thinking all how he would do when, instead
-of home, where everything came naturally, without being asked for, he
-should have only these skeletons to make himself comfortable with. I had
-lighted the lamp, and was boiling the little kettle over it, to see how
-it would do. Ah, if we only had been going all together! If I could have
-imagined myself there to boil the kettle and have everything warm and
-nice for him when he came in from the trenches, how pleasant all these
-contrivances would have been! As it was I had just had his servant up
-and been showing him the things we had bought; he looking grim and half
-amused, touching his cap and saying, “Yes, ma’am,” to every word I said,
-but laughing in his mind at all my womanish nonsense. I could see that
-perfectly, and I had a good cry after the man was gone; and was just
-rousing up from that, to boil the little kettle, when Sara Cresswell
-came in.</p>
-
-<p>In this short week there was a good deal of change upon Sara. Her eyes
-had a quick kind of fitful light in them gleaming about everywhere, as
-if she were somehow dissatisfied, either with herself or her own
-circumstances, and sought a kind<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_317" id="page_317"></a>{317}</span> of relief in external things. There
-was a change in her appearance too; her little short curls had either
-grown too long to cluster about her neck as she had worn them, or she
-had taken another caprice about this fashion of hers, for they were now
-all gathered into a net, a thing which changed her appearance, somehow,
-without one being able to see for the first minute how it was. She
-flushed up wonderfully when she saw my occupation. She came and kissed
-me, and sat down by me to watch the lamp. I had to explain to her all
-about it, how it was arranged, and everything; and after she had sat
-with me watching till the little kettle boiled, all at once it seemed to
-flash upon her what dreadful thing was implied to me in that little
-apparatus, and she suddenly looked up in my face and took hold of my
-hand, and burst out crying. I gave way just for one moment too, but even
-her presence and her sympathy kept me from breaking down altogether. But
-it warmed my heart to Sara to see her crying for my trouble. I took the
-little teapot out of the place it was fitted into and made some tea, and
-gave her some without saying anything. We sat by the table where that
-little lamp was still burning, throwing the steady, cheerful little
-flame that showed so strange in the daylight, upon us. We drank that tea
-together without saying anything, till Sara, not being able to contain
-herself, her heart quite running over with pity for me, took the cup out
-of my hand and threw her arms round me. “We shall be sisters while he is
-away!” cried Sara, not knowing what to say to comfort me. I don’t think
-I said anything; but we were real fast friends from that day.</p>
-
-<p>“But I must have everything cleared away now, before Harry comes in,”
-said I; “he must not see all this litter we have been making. He thinks
-me foolish enough already. Go into the other room, Sara dear, and take a
-book and wait for me. Lizzie is out with baby. I’ll come to you
-presently.”</p>
-
-<p>“As if I could not help!” cried Sara, dashing the tears away off her
-cheek. “Why, oh, Milly, why won’t people let us women do what we were
-born to? This is twenty times pleasanter than going into the other room
-and taking a book.”</p>
-
-<p>And so, I daresay, it was. When everything was tidy we did go into the
-other room. Sara sat near the window, where she could see out without
-being seen herself. I took up some of Harry’s things that I had begun to
-make before Aunt Milly’s money came. I would have made them every one
-myself if I could, but that, to be sure, was impossible; and what a
-comfort<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_318" id="page_318"></a>{318}</span> it was to think he would have such a good supply of everything;
-but still it was a pleasure to me to have that work. We sat talking for
-some time about other things, about the Park, and Aunt Milly, and Miss
-Mortimer, but without touching upon anything but the surface,&mdash;how I
-liked them, and all that,&mdash;till at last Sara gave a little start and
-exclamation, and put her hands together. It was something she saw in the
-street. I rose to look over her shoulder what it was.</p>
-
-<p>“There is Mr. Langham and Mr. Luigi,” cried Sara. “What can they be
-talking about? Are they coming in, I wonder? How earnest they both look!
-Now they are turning back again. Oh, Milly, tell me, please! what are
-they talking about?”</p>
-
-<p>“How can I possibly tell you?” said I; but I suppose there was a little
-faltering and consciousness in my tone.</p>
-
-<p>Sara sat watching for some time longer. “They walk up and down, quite
-engrossed in their conversation,” said Sara; “when they reach the end of
-the pavement, they turn back again, up and down, up and down. Now Mr.
-Langham seems urging something upon him&mdash;now he turns away, he clasps
-his hands together, he appeals to Mr. Langham. What is it? what is it
-all about? I never can persuade him to tell me. How does he belong to
-the Park or the Mortimers? Why are they frightened for him? Oh, Milly,
-you who have just come from them, tell me what it is? I am not asking
-from vain curiosity&mdash;I&mdash;I&mdash;I have a right&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here Sara stopped, overcome with agitation. I was close behind her. I
-could not help growing agitated too.</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, tell <i>me</i>!” I cried; “we are both motherless creatures, and you
-have nobody to guide you. Tell me; you call him <i>he</i>, you don’t say his
-name. What is he to you?”</p>
-
-<p>Sara turned back and leant her head upon me, and fell into a passion of
-tears again;&mdash;different tears&mdash;tears for herself, and out of the anguish
-of her heart. She was doing wrong&mdash;she knew she was doing wrong&mdash;she had
-gone on with it wilfully, knowing it was wrong all the time; and now she
-had gone too far to draw back.</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Milly, Milly, papa does not know!” she cried, in such a tone of
-misery. And, indeed, I don’t wonder. How could she look him in the face
-knowing how fond of her he was?</p>
-
-<p>“But, Sara, this is dreadfully wrong of Mr. Luigi,” cried I; “he ought
-to know better; he should at least have gone to Mr. Cresswell. It is his
-fault.”</p>
-
-<p>“Was it your Harry’s fault?” cried Sara, starting up in my<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_319" id="page_319"></a>{319}</span> face, all
-flushed and glowing. “Should he have gone directly and told everybody?
-And you were married, <i>married</i>, Milly!&mdash;and ever such a time before it
-was found out. How <i>can</i> you pretend to be so shocked at me?”</p>
-
-<p>To see her spring up, all blushing and beautiful, and determined as she
-was&mdash;she who had been sobbing on my shoulder a moment before, took me
-entirely by surprise. I retreated a step before her. I could not tell
-what answer to make. She was not ashamed, the little darling creature!
-She was ready to stand up for him against all the world.</p>
-
-<p>“It was not my good father that loved me, it was only my aunt,” I said,
-faltering; “and, besides, it was I who should have told her; and as for
-Harry&mdash;Harry&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“He is no better than Luigi!” cried Sara; “he ought to have gone and
-told and asked for you. You know he should; and you were married,
-actually <i>married</i>, and oh, Milly, can you really venture to scold me?”</p>
-
-<p>“If I had nothing else to excuse me I was ashamed, at least,” said I, a
-little sharply.</p>
-
-<p>“I am not ashamed of Lewis!” cried the little girl, stamping her little
-foot and clasping her hands together. When her courage deserted her, she
-came and nestled into my side again, and clasped her arms tight and
-cried. What was to be done? for whatever I might have done myself, I
-could not be an accessory to Sara’s secret, to break her kind father’s
-heart.</p>
-
-<p>“But tell me who he is? What is Mr. Langham speaking to him about?”
-whispered Sara at last.</p>
-
-<p>“Has he not told you who he is?”</p>
-
-<p>“Only that soon he will be able to come to papa and tell him everything,
-but that his duty to somebody prevents him speaking now, till he has
-permission,” said Sara, under her breath. “I am not excusing him,” she
-went on, lifting up her head. “As you say, it was my part to tell papa;
-and it was only just the other day that&mdash;that&mdash;there was anything to
-tell. We have not been going on making it up for a long time. We have
-not been keeping it secret for months, like some people.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sara, hush,” said I; “you know quite well your case and mine are not
-alike; but, at any rate, I am older and wiser now. Must I, or must
-Harry, go and tell your father?”</p>
-
-<p>Sara looked at me with a degree of affectionate spite and wickedness I
-never saw equalled. “You would, you treacherous, perfidious creature!”
-she cried, flinging away from me; “but Mr. Langham wouldn’t!&mdash;you need
-not think it. You will have to go yourself; and papa will think we have
-had a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_320" id="page_320"></a>{320}</span> quarrel, and won’t believe you. Ah, Milly! here they are coming
-back. Tell me what Mr. Langham was saying to him? Tell me what it all
-is?”</p>
-
-<p>If I had known ever so well what to tell her, and been as willing as I
-was able, I would have been prevented by Harry’s coming in. He was
-looking grave and perplexed. His interview with Luigi had not satisfied
-<i>him</i>, any more than such a conversation had satisfied anybody else who
-approached the Italian. Sara stopped short with the most violent blush
-on her face when she saw him. She withdrew from me, and got into a
-corner. She went to the window, and pretended to be looking out very
-earnestly. She answered Harry’s salutation only over my shoulder. The
-next moment she came whispering to me that it was time for her to go.
-Evidently, however much she encouraged herself by our example, she could
-not face Harry. She whispered, “Don’t tell!” and clenched her little
-fist at me as she went away. Of course I only laughed at her; but it
-appeared I did not need to tell Harry. He came upstairs, after seeing
-her out, with a smile on his face.</p>
-
-<p>“Has she been telling you what trouble she has got herself into? Oh,
-don’t betray her secret,” said Harry. “I have just heard it from the
-other side. Here are other two fools following our example, Milly. What
-is to be done for them? It is worse, you know, in their case, as I took
-pains to show Luigi. Mr. Cresswell is a different person from Aunt
-Connor; and we two were equal in our poverty. I don’t approve,” said
-Harry, with a laugh mingling in his gravity, “of such a thing as this.”</p>
-
-<p>“And what did he say?” said I, thinking, no doubt, that my Harry’s
-wisdom had made the Italian ashamed of himself.</p>
-
-<p>Harry laughed again, but grew rather red. “Word for word what I used to
-say when I was explaining to myself why I did not go and ask you from
-your Aunt Connor. I hope they’ll have as good an issue as we have had,
-Milly, darling,” said Harry, “But here’s some extraordinary mistake
-again. Either we’re mistaken in our guess, which I can’t think possible,
-or poor Luigi’s dreadfully mistaken in the laws of England and of
-civilised life. Perhaps he thinks our being Protestants makes an end of
-law. I can’t tell what he thinks, nor what to think of the whole
-concern. He refuses my mediation, Milly; at least he tells me I am
-wrong.”</p>
-
-<p>“Wrong in what particular?” I asked eagerly.</p>
-
-<p>Harry shook his head. “I can’t tell; but he will not hear of any
-compensation, or of giving up his pursuit of that poor old<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_321" id="page_321"></a>{321}</span> lady. When
-he saw what I meant he grew very hot and angry, and asked if I meant to
-insult him, but afterwards said to himself, ‘It is in ignorance,’ with a
-sort of magnanimity which would be simply ridiculous according to my
-notion of the affair. They’ll have it out their own way, Milly. We can’t
-interfere, that’s clear; only I wish there was some light thrown upon
-it,” said Harry, “before I went away, that I might know what your
-fortune is likely to be. What would you say if this grand Park of yours
-turned out to be no inheritance for us at all?”</p>
-
-<p>“I should not break my heart; but what <i>could</i> he have to do with the
-Park?” cried I. “If he were Mr. Mortimer’s son, why should Miss Mortimer
-be so troubled about it? and how could he, if he is Miss Mortimer’s&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>“Hush, Milly; we don’t know anything about it. Let’s talk of our own
-concerns,” said Harry, with a sigh. These words plunged me back again
-into the mood from which Sara had roused me. The other things went like
-shadows&mdash;this was the real life which belonged to us.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_322" id="page_322"></a>{322}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XIII-f" id="Chapter_XIII-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">DON’T</span> remember very well after that how these outside affairs went on.
-I used to see them both, of course. Sara came to me almost every day,
-and sometimes helped with my work, and sometimes played with baby, and
-sometimes would read aloud to me when Harry was out. She meant it very
-well and was very good, and a comfort, as much as that was possible. I
-remember being glad when she read, and did not talk, for then I was free
-to my own thoughts. I daresay, thinking it over since, that it must have
-been the fascination of seeing her constantly, which for that interval
-took precedence of everything in Luigi’s mind, and kept him inactive;
-for I heard from Aunt Milly that he had not been to the Park again, nor
-heard of in any way, so far as she knew. And Miss Mortimer had been
-ailing too, and had very bad nights, and had been a whole week that she
-did not come downstairs. I heard all these things at the time without
-taking any notice of them. Harry, after finding himself so unsuccessful
-with Luigi, had given it all up; and we were both too much occupied with
-our own concerns to think of anything else. We did not talk much of what
-was to happen when he was gone. It had come to be tacitly concluded that
-I was to go with Aunt Milly; and, I suppose, that thought that crossed
-Harry’s mind after his conversation with Luigi,&mdash;“What if the Park
-should turn out to be no inheritance of ours after all?”&mdash;had passed
-away again as it came. I can’t say I ever thought of the Park at that
-time one way or another; and I am sure what Harry was glad for me to
-have, was not the prospect of a great fortune, but the presence of a
-dear friend.</p>
-
-<p>One day he rode out to see Aunt Milly, and take leave of her. He saw
-them both, he told me, but nothing passed that I cared to inquire into.
-We had a great deal to do, which helped us to pull through these days.
-It was such a difficulty to get those things which I had collected,
-packed. Harry’s<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_323" id="page_323"></a>{323}</span> servant came, and puffed and scratched his head over
-them, and poor Domenico came up to help; and what with his broad laughs
-and pantomime, and his determination to get everything in, and his
-cheerfulness over all his failures, and the ludicrous way in which he
-and Thomson addressed each other, each in his own language, and abused
-each other too, even I was obliged to laugh, and the assistants were all
-kept in good-humour. I felt as if it had been very dark all these
-days&mdash;often raining, always cloudy, the streets muddy and uncomfortable,
-and the air stifling. I can’t tell whether it was so in reality, but it
-certainly seemed so to me.</p>
-
-<p>Then the very last day came. Harry was specially busy all that day;
-there were all the men to look after, and he was acting adjutant. I went
-out by myself to see whether I could not find anything else he might
-want. It was very fatiguing walking&mdash;I suppose it was a rainy day. When
-I came in I felt very faint, and sat down in a chair in the hall for an
-instant to recover myself. I can’t tell how Luigi knew that I was there;
-but he came out to the door of his room, and stood looking at me for a
-moment. I got up, being jealous that anybody should see me break down,
-just then; but he held up his hand as if to beg me to stay.</p>
-
-<p>“May I say how I think of you?” he said. “Just now you are never out of
-my mind, you and that brave Langham. Patience, patience! such men come
-back&mdash;they come back!”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, hush, hush, hush!” I cried. I could say nothing more, and pressed
-past him to go upstairs.</p>
-
-<p>He put his hand on mine when I laid it on the rail of the stairs,
-detaining me. “We are cousins,” he said, softly; “do not put me away. In
-my country we say cousin-brother&mdash;it does not matter, it is the same. I
-will be your brother if you will let me. Tell him. I am not to be
-ashamed of; he knows not; but if <i>she</i> will not do what is right, soon
-all the world must know. I am your brother, at your disposition. Say it
-to him. I will not come to say farewell to disturb you&mdash;but tell him; he
-shall trust me, and you may want a brother; we are of one blood.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, let me go!” I cried. “I can’t ask you how this is. I can’t thank
-you, though I am sure it is kindness. I can’t think of anything to-day;
-let me go.”</p>
-
-<p>Luigi kissed my hand, and let me go. It startled me very much for the
-moment. I rushed upstairs, feeling as if he had been rude to me;&mdash;but
-indeed he had not been rude to me, nor anything the least like it. But
-it startled me into<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_324" id="page_324"></a>{324}</span> realizing all that was going to happen. That I
-should be alone as to-morrow. I remember running and clutching at the
-blinds which were down, and drawing them up with great haste, and almost
-passion. It seemed to me as if that dim light were predicting something;
-as if the furniture standing about was looking on, and knew what was
-going to be. Now the time was come; I had gone over it and over it in my
-fancy; this would be the last of my rehearsals; to-morrow Harry would be
-away.</p>
-
-<p>And the to-morrow came, as they always do. I did not feel in the least
-diminished in my strength. I did not feel I had any body at all that
-morning. I went with him to the railway steadily, you may suppose. I
-would not lose a moment of the time we were to be together in any folly
-about myself. I remember him saying something about me going home alone,
-and all that, as men <i>will</i> do. But I did not lose sight of him till the
-last moment when the train disappeared into the tunnel; and I can’t tell
-how long I stood there watching, after it had vanished into that
-darkness. Now he was gone! Another train came up, and the crowd
-disturbed me standing there all by myself. I did not feel as if it were
-true; but I went away all the same. I said to myself, over and over
-again, “He is gone;” but it did me no good. I went out of the railway
-not believing in it. Outside there was a cab waiting for me. But
-Domenico rushed forward to open the door, and somehow they had contrived
-that Lizzie and baby should be there to take me home. I heard afterwards
-that Luigi and Domenico were both watching close by all the time, in
-case I should faint, or something. I suppose they thought I would faint,
-not knowing any better. Lizzie’s great eyes, panic-struck, gazing in my
-face, full of tears that she durst not let fall, struck me quite
-strangely when I got into the cab; and then little Harry stretched out
-his arms to me&mdash;and then&mdash;&mdash;. But even at the worst it was not so
-dreadful as I thought it would be. I was not sitting blind and
-desperate, with all the world dark before me. No, no; and God forgive me
-for thinking I should. Harry was living and well, and gone to do his
-duty; and this was his boy smiling in my face, and the sun was
-shining&mdash;&mdash;. And I had to live, and to be patient, and to pray.</p>
-
-<p>When we got home, Aunt Milly’s kind face, anxiously gazing out of the
-window, was the first thing I saw. She came running downstairs to take
-me in her arms; she seemed to think it strange I could walk in so
-steadily, and did not want any<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_325" id="page_325"></a>{325}</span> support. Sara was upstairs too. I have
-no doubt it was kind, the kindest thing possible; but I felt dreadfully
-fatigued, somehow, with that morning’s work. I could have liked to have
-been by myself a little. I went to my own room to put off my bonnet, and
-sat down with a kind of pang of comfort. I thought I was <i>glad</i> it was
-over; and then my eye fell on Harry’s old scarf&mdash;and somehow the silence
-came ringing about my ears with no “Milly, darling!” sounding through
-it: and I began to see it was true, and he was away.</p>
-
-<p>When Aunt Milly came stealing into the room after me, she dropped down
-by my side where I was kneeling, and put her kind arms round my waist.
-“Yes, dear, cry!” said Aunt Milly, “it will do you good!” But I did not
-cry after that&mdash;I was better. I was glad it was over now.</p>
-
-<p>We waited till we had a message by the telegraph to say the ship was
-just sailing out of the Mersey; for Harry had stopped with me till the
-very last moment. And then we went away. I remember everything so
-clearly that happened that day. I remember how the sun kept shining, and
-how they all looked at me as if I had been ill, and had to be watched
-and cared for at every step. It was all very new to me. In the hall, as
-we were going away, Luigi came up to me again. Aunt Milly had made me
-take her arm; not that I needed it, but she seemed to think I ought to
-need it. Luigi came and took my hand. “Remember!” he said, “I am your
-brother, at your disposition, till he comes back.” I don’t think I made
-him any answer; for the very sight of him made Aunt Milly tremble. He
-went out after us to put us into the carriage, and somehow managed to do
-it, though Aunt Milly was afraid of him. He put her in last of all, and
-kissed her hand. Aunt Milly did not say anything to me for a long time
-after. She kept gazing out of the carriage windows as long as she could
-see Luigi; and I have a kind of consciousness that he stood there, with
-his hat off, as long as we could be seen on the road. For the moment she
-had returned into her own trouble and forgotten mine. I leaned out of
-the other window, and felt the wind on my face. Ah, God send the winds
-were safe upon the sea! He was gone&mdash;really gone. I was not even to hear
-of him for a long time; and when I was to see him, God knew alone. I was
-swept out of his sight, and he out of mine, as if we did not belong to
-each other. There was only One now, in heaven or earth, that at the same
-moment could see him and me. When I thought of that it melted all my
-heart. Our Father, the only father we two had, saw us both, with no
-boundaries between<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_326" id="page_326"></a>{326}</span> us&mdash;all that time when I could neither see nor hear
-of Harry, God was my link to my husband. He knew. We were both in His
-eye if we were worlds asunder. There, we were near to each other,
-however else we might be separate. The impression came so strong upon me
-that for a moment I could not say I was less than <i>glad</i>. No distance in
-the world, though it put us for a time out of sight of each other, could
-ever put us out of the sight of God.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_327" id="page_327"></a>{327}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XIV-f" id="Chapter_XIV-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XIV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">N</span><span class="smcap">OBODY</span> will be surprised when I say, that, after this, things got into
-their usual way very soon, and that when the event was over, everything
-subsided round it, and soon Aunt Milly began to forget that I was the
-invalid (in spirit) whom she had taken such tender care of, and brought
-back all her budget of perplexities and troubles to pour them into my
-ear; and after a day or two’s retirement in my own room, which was an
-ease to me, I went downstairs and about, and took a share in everything.
-Miss Mortimer had got better of her illness, if illness it was. She sat
-within the screen as usual, doing her knitting, and not taking much
-notice of anybody. I don’t know whether she had really suffered in her
-health, but it seemed to me that she got thinner, and that sometimes
-there was a gleam of fiery restrained excitement in her eyes, which were
-rather cold eyes by nature. We were told that she still had very bad
-nights; and I am sure, two or three times when I met poor Carson by
-accident, it took all my self-control to keep me from speaking to her,
-and begging her to deliver herself, somehow, from this dreadful yoke. I
-never saw exhaustion and a kind of weak despair so written upon
-anybody’s face. These bad nights, whatever they might be to the
-mistress, must have been murderous work to the poor maid.</p>
-
-<p>“My dear,” said Aunt Milly, “I shall never forget that young man’s look
-as he put me into the carriage, and kissed my hand.” Aunt Milly held out
-her plump soft hand as she spoke, and looked at it. “They have a habit
-of doing so, these Italians. But if you will believe me, Milly, it was
-actually an <i>affectionate</i> look the poor young fellow gave me; and I
-have never asked you what he meant; he was your brother, he said. My
-dear, what did he mean? Ah, I remember how disappointed I was to find
-that he was not your brother, and Richard Mortimer’s son. That would
-have been such a happy solution of everything! but tell me why he called
-himself your brother? Was it only sympathy, Milly?”</p>
-
-<p>“He said we were of the same blood; he said we were relations,” said I,
-with some hesitation.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_328" id="page_328"></a>{328}</span></p>
-
-<p>The book she had been reading fell out of Aunt Milly’s hand.
-“Relations!” she cried, faltering and growing pale; “then, Milly, there
-can be no doubt at all about it. Milly, I tell you he must be my
-father’s son; how could you be <i>relations</i>? And indeed, indeed,” cried
-Aunt Milly, growing more and more agitated, “I can’t bear this any
-longer. Now you are with me to support me, I must take it into my own
-hands. I will go and write to him this moment, and ask him down here to
-clear it all up. Don’t say anything&mdash;I must do it; it is impossible to
-go on living in this way.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Miss Mortimer?” said I.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Mortimer?” cried Aunt Milly, with a little scream, that was almost
-hysterical, “what can my sister Sarah have to do with it? It is no
-harder upon her than it is upon me. If he is my father’s son, how can
-she be mixed up in it? And how can you and he be relations unless he is
-my father’s son? Don’t speak to me, Milly. He shall come here and tell
-it all, and at least we shall know what there is to fear.”</p>
-
-<p>“But if she were too much excited it might make her ill,” said I,
-dreading that visit, without knowing anything to say against it.</p>
-
-<p>“I can’t help it!” cried Aunt Milly, “I am desperate. Think of living
-and enjoying what doesn’t belong to you! Oh, Milly, Milly! what do you
-think I must do? I never was in secrets and mysteries before; it’s
-dreadful to me; and Sarah would not yield to tell what she’s kept hidden
-so long, not for her life. We’ll see how she looks to-night. I did not
-think she looked any worse than usual. I would not hurt her, you may be
-sure, not for any relief to myself; but we can’t go on with this hanging
-over us, Milly,” she said, with faltering lips. “I’ll write to-morrow; I
-certainly will write to-morrow. Relations! My dear, dear child, it will
-be a dreadful disappointment to you; but that is as good as proof.”</p>
-
-<p>Poor Aunt Milly! she was desperate, as she said; and what good it would
-do writing, or asking, or even demanding anything, that one of the
-people who knew it would guard at the cost of her life, and the other
-would disclose only at his own time, I could not see. Luigi had refused
-to tell her already; he would not tell Sara Cresswell. He was waiting a
-permission that never, never in this world would be given. And he, too,
-must be deluded. What could he think our laws or our principles were if
-he could have any rights, but those of shame? It was all a mystery; I
-could see that Aunt Milly’s idea was quite a false one. But I dared not
-tell her that idea<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_329" id="page_329"></a>{329}</span> of my own, which, perhaps, for anything I knew,
-might prove as false as hers.</p>
-
-<p>That morning I went out with Lizzie and my boy. He could walk now along
-the sunny road holding my finger, and trot after his own little shadow,
-and try to catch the motes in the sunshine, as I suppose all babies
-do&mdash;but, to be sure, it is just as original and strange in every child
-that does it, for all that. I was walking by him, very tranquil and even
-contented in my mind. There had been very quiet weather; and little
-Harry was so well and so beautiful; and I felt so much more as if I
-could trust my Harry himself in God’s hands without trembling for him
-every moment, that my heart opened out a little to the beautiful day. I
-don’t know that I should have borne to see Domenico, much less to speak
-to him, but for that&mdash;&mdash;</p>
-
-<p>For there was Domenico, unmistakably, on the edge of the common. He was
-dressed in a white linen suit, all white, as if he wanted to make his
-enormous bulk and his black beard as remarkable as possible in this
-beardless and sober-minded country. It was warm weather now, and I
-daresay he thought the hot summer was coming as in his own home. Baby,
-with whom he had always been a favourite, gave a little shout at sight
-of him, and tottered forward a step or two. Of course Domenico’s hat had
-been in his hand from the first moment he saw me. He threw it down on
-the grass now, and seized little Harry, and tossed him up in his arms. I
-was afraid of this play, but my brave boy was not; he actually boxed at
-Lizzie with his little fists when I begged Domenico to set him down.</p>
-
-<p>“Pardon,” said Domenico; “I&mdash;me&mdash;make demand of the signora, pardon&mdash;it
-pleases to the piccolo signorino beebee. I&mdash;Domenico&mdash;here&mdash;this,” said
-the great fellow, punching his breast, that I might be quite sure of the
-person he meant, “take joy in heart for see the signora another time.”</p>
-
-<p>“Thank you, Domenico,” said I. “I shall never forget how kind you have
-been. What is it that brings you here?”</p>
-
-<p>Domenico pointed round to various points of the compass, not seeming
-sure which to fix upon, and then burst into a great laugh at himself.
-“It pleases to the signora to pardon,” said Domenico; “when not to have
-the book not clevare to make the speak. Here is the master of me.”</p>
-
-<p>“Your master, Domenico?&mdash;where?” cried I.</p>
-
-<p>Once more Domenico looked round to all the points of the compass. “He
-here&mdash;he here&mdash;puff&mdash;Ecco!&mdash;he move far away&mdash;to make the time go. Here
-my master come to make<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_330" id="page_330"></a>{330}</span> the visit&mdash;the signora not to know the other
-signora? Yes, yes; in that large big palazzo of not any colour. Behold!
-The my master there go.”</p>
-
-<p>“Who is he going to see there?” asked I, with some anxiety.</p>
-
-<p>Domenico held up his hand with many elaborate gestures of caution and
-silence. Then he bent his enormous person forward and stooped to my ear.
-When he spoke it was in a whisper. “It is need to speak silent&mdash;silent!
-The signora contessa,” said Domenico, with half-important, half-guilty
-air of one who communicates a secret. I drew back from him in utter
-bewilderment&mdash;what could he mean?</p>
-
-<p>“There is no contessa there, Domenico,” said I, in my ordinary tone;
-“your master is deceived.”</p>
-
-<p>Domenico held up his hand with an evident entreaty that I would be
-cautious. Then he looked back upon Lizzie, the only person in sight. “I
-not fear for the Lizzie,” said Domenico; and then launched forth into a
-half-whispered description of the contessa, whoever that might be. But I
-confess that Domenico’s description, being Italian whenever he warmed,
-and only when he slackened and recollected himself falling into such
-English as he was capable of, was difficult to make out. I fully entered
-into Lizzie’s feeling, that it was “awfu’ fickle to ken what he meant
-when it was a long story.” I remained profoundly bewildered, and unable
-to make out one word in ten.</p>
-
-<p>As for learning anything about the contessa&mdash;poor fellow!&mdash;or, rather,
-it was his master that was to be pitied&mdash;evidently here was some new
-mistake, some additional impediment to the finding out of this mystery.
-I left Lizzie with little Harry on the common, and went rather sadly
-home. This little bit of apparent foolishness naturally set me all
-astray as to the mysterious business which had cost us so much thought.
-Was it a mistake of Domenico’s perhaps? for Luigi and Miss Mortimer had
-actually met, and there could be no mistake there.</p>
-
-<p>When I looked back that great white apparition was keeping Lizzie
-company on the common. They were a strange couple; but I cannot say I
-had any such doubts or fears concerning Domenico’s attendance, as a
-proper mistress ought to have had. I flattered myself Lizzie was a great
-deal too young to take any harm. She stood with her red-brown hair a
-little blown about her eyes: her clear, sanguine complexion, her angular
-and still awkward figure, looking up at the man-monster beside her, and
-holding up her hand to shade her eyes from the sun, which was<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_331" id="page_331"></a>{331}</span> shining
-in her face. While Domenico, with all his great proportions expanded by
-his white dress, impended over her, his smiling mouth opening in the
-midst of his black beard, an <i>outre</i> extraordinary foreign figure,
-enough to drive any staid English village out of its propriety. I
-remember the picture they made as distinctly as possible, with the green
-common surrounding them, and the gorse bushes all bursting into flower;
-and my own beautiful baby tottering about the fragrant grass. I was
-quite secure in Lizzie’s love and Domenico’s kindness. I went away with
-a smile at the curious group upon that soft English common&mdash;both figures
-alien to the soil&mdash;and with a tenderness in my breast to them both.
-Domenico had made himself well understood in another language, if not in
-that of ordinary spoken communications. I shall always have a kindness
-to his whole nation for that good fellow’s sake.</p>
-
-<p>As I paused at the gate of the Park, I saw another figure advancing by
-an opposite road. I recognised Luigi in a moment. He was coming
-hurriedly down between the green hedges, no doubt coming to pay that
-visit of which Domenico had warned me. I rushed in, with all the
-eagerness of a child, to get my bonnet off and be in the drawing-room
-before he came.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_332" id="page_332"></a>{332}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XV-f" id="Chapter_XV-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XV.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">W</span><span class="smcap">HEN</span> I reached the drawing-room, after throwing off my bonnet and
-arranging my hair in the most breathless haste, terrified to hear the
-summons at the door before I was downstairs, I was thunderstruck to find
-Sara Cresswell there. The sight of her made an end of my awkward feeling
-of shame for my own haste and curiosity. Surely this was nothing less
-than a crisis that was coming. Sara had just arrived, and was explaining
-the reasons for her visit in such a very fluent and demonstrative way,
-that I could see at once they were all made up, and some motive entirely
-different from those she mentioned had brought her. She was still in her
-hat and velvet jacket, seated rather on the edge of her chair, talking
-very volubly, but looking breathless and anxious, while Aunt Milly, who
-was sitting in her own place, opposite her sister, and near the
-fireplace, looked at her, perplexed and uncertain, evidently rather
-suspicious of the many motives which had procured us this visit; which,
-if Sara had only said nothing about it, would have been received as a
-delightful surprise, and wanted no accounting for. It was evidently a
-great relief to Sara when I came in; she came to kiss me, turning her
-face away from Aunt Milly, and caught hold of me so tight, and gave me
-such a troubled, emphatic look, that even if I had not heard before, I
-should have known something was coming. I stood by her breathless for a
-moment, wondering why the door-bell did not ring,&mdash;Luigi had certainly
-had abundant time to have got to the door,&mdash;and then went up to the
-other end of the room on pretence of finding my work; while Sara,
-instead of following me, dropped into her chair again, evidently too
-nervous, too anxious, too eager to see the first of it and lose nothing,
-to do anything but sit still. We were both traitors and plotters. She
-had come to watch something that was about to happen, but which the
-principal person concerned did not know. While I, more cruel still, took
-my trembling way up to the other end of the apartment, and stationed
-myself behind Aunt Milly, that I might not lose a look or word from Miss
-Mortimer. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_333" id="page_333"></a>{333}</span> felt ashamed of myself, but I could not help it. I felt a
-kind of conviction that this was to be the decisive day.</p>
-
-<p>But still there was no sound at the door; there was time to look round
-all the peaceable vast room, and be struck by the quietness, the repose
-of the scene in which some act of this mysterious drama was about to be
-enacted. It was always very light here, but the bright day and the
-sunshine out of doors, made it now even lighter than usual, and refused
-to any of us the slightest shade for our faces, whatever undue
-expression might come to them. Sara had adopted the only expedient
-possible, by turning her back upon the light, and had, besides, a little
-shelter in her hat. But dear Aunt Milly, looking at her favourite with a
-troubled inquiring expression, and laying down the work she had in hand
-in order to examine Sara’s countenance the better, was so fully set
-forth in all her looks, movements, and almost feelings, by that broad
-clear day-light, that I shrank back from it in spite of myself, fearing
-that it would betray me too. The only shadow in the room was that
-afforded by Miss Mortimer’s screen. She sat there just as usual, in her
-violet-coloured dress, her light muslin embroidered scarf, worn without
-any lining, now that the weather was warm, and her pretty cap, with
-ribbons corresponding to her dress; her head moving so slightly that it
-was difficult to perceive the motion; her pattern-book open on her knee,
-her head bent over it. At this moment, when the thunders of Providence
-were just about to break over her, she sat there, with her head over her
-knitting-book, counting her stitches, and trying a new pattern. When I
-saw how she was occupied, my own trembling pretence at work fell from my
-hands. I gazed at her openly with a wonder which was almost awe. My
-heart cried out against her in her dread composure. The Avenger was
-coming, and there she sat, all conscious, aware, in every nerve, of her
-guilt, and yet able to maintain that hideous calm. Yes! it would have
-been sublime had she been a good woman, threatened by some undeserved
-doom. I declare it was ghastly, devilish, dreadful to me!</p>
-
-<p>All this time nobody came to the door. I daresay, perhaps, it was not
-very many minutes after all; but in the excitement and suspense it
-seemed a very long time to me. And either the house was specially quiet,
-or there was something in my agitated condition which made me think so.
-Miss Mortimer never lifted her head; if she had not been so engaged with
-her pattern, surely she would have noticed the perplexed looks of Aunt
-Milly, and my excited face. But she did not, she kept<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_334" id="page_334"></a>{334}</span> working on at her
-new stitch. We all relapsed into perfect silence; Sara’s voluble excuses
-for herself died all at once off her lips. Aunt Milly dropped into a
-strange anxious silence, looking at her. As for myself, I could not have
-spoken a word whatever had been the consequences. Sara’s nervous motion
-of her foot on the carpet startled me so much that I had nearly
-committed myself by some cry of agitation. It was a dread, inexplainable
-pause, which nobody dared either break or account for. Dead silence and
-expectation. And Miss Mortimer bending her head over her pattern-book
-counting the loops for her new stitch.</p>
-
-<p>The bell did not ring. If it had rung it must have startled us all so
-much as to diminish the sense of what was coming; there was no such
-premonition;&mdash;a little sound of steps and subdued voices in the hall
-made my heart beat so loud that I felt sure my Aunt Milly must have
-heard it. Sara looked up at me suddenly when that sound became audible.
-Her face was perfectly colourless, and her hands firmly clasped
-together.</p>
-
-<p>“Children, what is it?” said Aunt Milly, with a sharp frightened cry,
-breaking off suddenly in a troubled manner as the steps drew nearer.
-Miss Mortimer lifted her head from her book. She looked up, she looked
-full at me; she smiled. She was listening, but she was not afraid.</p>
-
-<p>When suddenly the door was thrown open; Ellis called out, with his
-fullest voice: “The Count Sormonata,” and somebody came in. I cannot
-tell who it was that came in. I heard Sara cry out with a kind of shriek
-and repeat the name, “The Count Sermoneta!” The work and the book and
-all the trifling matters about her fell off from Miss Mortimer. She rose
-up, clenching her hand, ghastly, like a dead woman. She cried out in a
-voice I shall never forget: “he is dead, <i>dead!</i>” she cried, with the
-wildest scream and outcry. “I tell you, he is dead, dead! My God, he is
-dead! Will nobody believe me?” shrieked out the miserable woman. Her
-sister ran to her, and was thrust away with those terrible clenched
-hands. But she never turned to look, nor cast aside her screen that hid
-the new comer from her. She stood still like some frightful statue,
-rigid, with her wild eyes fixed upon the air before her&mdash;heaven knows
-what she might see there!&mdash;listening in some frightful agony to the
-steps that came slowly up the room. When that scream burst from her the
-footsteps faltered and stopped. Then Miss Mortimer looked at me, the
-only creature she saw before her, and laughed a dreadful laugh of
-madness and misery. “He knows it!” she cried out, triumphantly, “if you
-did not, he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_335" id="page_335"></a>{335}</span> does. He is dead, dead!” and then came to another dreadful
-pause, leaning her clenched hands upon the table and fixing her wild
-eyes upon something straight before her. While I followed the mad stare
-of her eyes with a shudder I could not refrain, another person came with
-noiseless rapidity into the spot she was gazing on. It was not a
-spectre&mdash;it was simply Luigi, from whose face agitation had banished all
-the colour, and who stood trembling and speechless, wringing his hands,
-and gazing at her with an unspeakable appeal and entreaty. She did not
-say anything more; she stood with her eyes full opened and staring wide,
-leaning her hands on that table. I believe, if anybody had touched her,
-she would have fallen. I almost believed, while I looked at her, that
-she had died standing, and that it was a lifeless form that stood fixed
-in that horrible erect attitude, fronting us all, fronting a thousand
-times more than us, all the guilt and sins of her life. I gave a cry
-myself in the extremity of my terror and trouble. I went to her, I
-cannot tell how, stumbling over Aunt Milly, who had either fallen or
-fainted, or I cannot tell what. I went and put my arm round that
-dreadful ghastly figure. It was not her I was approaching, but <i>it</i>, the
-terrible mask and image of her. I had not a thought but that she was
-dead.</p>
-
-<p>When I touched her, she fell, as I had thought she would. But so strong
-an impression did her dreadful appearance have upon me, that, when her
-figure sank into the chair and showed some elasticity, instead of going
-down on the floor, crumbling down, dropping to pieces, as somehow I had
-expected, I was struck with a horrible fear and surprise. She was not
-dead. I called out to them all, what were we to do? and she seemed to
-hear me. I saw, with a terror I cannot explain, her terrible eyes turn
-from Luigi&mdash;they looked at me, at Aunt Milly, they cast a glance over
-the room. Was it that the spirit was living and the body dead?</p>
-
-<p>I cannot tell what we did for a dreadful interval after that. Carson
-came into the confused crowd. Luigi disappeared to find a doctor, and we
-tried to get her lifted and laid upon the sofa. But though she neither
-moved nor spoke, and scarcely seemed to breathe, she resisted, in some
-dreadful way, and would not be removed. I shall never forget that
-dreadful face; when I am ill it comes back to me, a recollection never
-to be banished;&mdash;dead&mdash;yet never consenting to die, keeping alive,
-determined, resolute, unshaken. I can see the discoloured lips begin to
-move, the words formed on the inarticulate tongue, the eyes lightening
-out of that fixed stare. Half the house had<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_336" id="page_336"></a>{336}</span> stolen into the room in
-this dreadful emergency without anybody observing them. But the dead
-woman observed them. And I, who was standing nearest, recoiled from her
-side, and the whole circle round her broke up and fell back in
-speechless horror, when a sound broke from that dreadful convulsed
-mouth. Old Carson, trembling but faithful, stood by her mistress. The
-poor creature said she understood that sound. It was to send everybody
-away, said the woman, whose limbs would scarcely support her, and whose
-very teeth chattered. They all went away, terrified but curious; the
-boldest lingered behind the screen. Nobody remained within sight of
-those dreadful eyes but Aunt Milly and me. We two stood huddled on each
-other, not daring to say a word, or even to exchange looks. Carson stood
-by her mistress’s side. Carson knew all and everything, more than we
-knew. She held some cordial to the dead lips, she chafed the ghastly
-hand, she gazed with pitiful eyes and tears and entreaties at the
-terrible face. This woman was not deserted in her terrible necessity.
-The voice of that humble love reached somehow to the springs of
-existence, and she came back slowly, in a solemn, fearful waking, out of
-death into life. We stood looking on, with an awe and terror impossible
-to describe. It was a miracle slowly enacting before us. She was dead
-and was alive again. Ghastly and dreadful, like a woman out of the
-grave, Miss Mortimer woke up to all her misery again.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_337" id="page_337"></a>{337}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XVI-f" id="Chapter_XVI-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XVI.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">T</span><span class="smcap">HIS</span> extraordinary revival was going on when the doctor rushed in.
-Carson, who had been the principal person in all this scene, rushed at
-him and drew him back. She kept her hand on his arm, detained him, ran
-into voluble but trembling explanations. When he came forward the doctor
-gazed with a troubled face at the patient. A fainting fit brought on by
-great agitation; nobody could give any other account of it; he felt her
-pulse, and prescribed, and lingered, and looked at us all with mingled
-inquiry and suspicion. What had we been doing to her? Why had she not
-been removed to bed? A flash came from the awakening eyes. She made a
-motion of her hand, waving him away, then looked at me, and pointed
-vaguely but imperatively before her. When I did not obey immediately,
-she repeated the question, and at last spoke, with great evident pain,
-impatience, and imperiousness: “Bring him?” were those the words? She
-was so imperative, so fiercely determined, that I hastened out to call
-Luigi. I found him at the door watching, very pale, and in profound
-distress. He came in after me without saying a word; he went up to her
-without waiting for me, and knelt down at her feet, and took her hands
-in his own. “Mother! Mother!” cried the young man. If it did not go to
-her heart, it went to the heart of every other person present; and Aunt
-Milly, with a great cry of amazement and terror, repeated it after him,
-“Mother!” But who could think of any discovery then? The doctor stood
-listening, thunderstruck, behind the screen. I believe Sara Cresswell
-was in the room. But we who were round about this terrible figure could
-observe nothing else, except the dread inarticulate waves of passion
-that kept rising in her dead face. She thrust at her son with a wild
-motion of her bloodless hands as if to put him away. She questioned him
-with her eyes in such frantic impatience, because he could not
-understand her, that the sight was more<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_338" id="page_338"></a>{338}</span> than I could bear. I fell back
-from her trembling and like to faint. Then her will got the better of
-her weakness. She cried out aloud, with a voice that I am sure could
-have been heard all over the house;&mdash;it was not a living voice; it rang
-out wild, and loud, and hard, in separate words,&mdash;“Where is he?&mdash;<i>he</i>?
-dead! let him come. I know he is dead, let him come;&mdash;Count!” and here
-the terrible voice rose and broke in a wild horror of babbling cries.
-God help us! It was a dreadful scene. Aunt Milly stood supporting
-herself by a chair, unable to utter a word or even to move. I was afraid
-to stir, lest I should faint and fall on the floor. Carson only stood
-close by her mistress, supporting her head and gazing with wistful eyes
-at Luigi; the young man stumbled up from his knees in an agony of pity
-and horror. He held up his hands in wild appeal, whether to her, or to
-us, or only to God, I cannot tell. “It is my father!” he cried. “She
-thinks it was my father; and I am to blame!” Then he knelt down again
-humbly at her feet, and held up his clasped hands to her as if he were
-praying. I think he must have done it with an intention of drawing her
-attention by any means, and to prove to her that it was the truth he
-said.</p>
-
-<p>“Mother,” he cried, looking up at those eyes which had returned, and
-were fixed upon him,&mdash;“mother, I am your son! My father is dead and
-undisturbed in his grave; he has sent me to his wife. It is I, it is no
-other. He is with the saints, where there are no names. It is I who am
-Sermoneta; mother! Oh, heaven, does she not hear me? <i>will</i> she not hear
-me? It was I, only I. It was Luigi, Countess! If I must not bear your
-name, I must bear my own. I say it was I, not my father, who can neither
-do evil nor endure it,&mdash;me, either Luigi Sermoneta or Lewis Mortimer, as
-you will,&mdash;your son!”</p>
-
-<p>It is impossible to describe the effect this had upon us all. Aunt Milly
-burst forth into weeping, convulsive, and not to be restrained. Poor
-Carson’s bosom heaved with silent sobs. Luigi, who had risen up as he
-said these last words, stood erect in a passionate self-assertion and
-defence before his miserable mother. Even she changed under this sudden
-blaze of revelation. She sat up in her chair, and grew more human; her
-rigid head began to tremble, her dread-eyes to lose their horror. Now it
-was no longer that mad ghastly stare with which she regarded the young
-man before her. She looked at him, leaning forward, slowly recovering
-her powers. Some convulsive gasps or sobs in her throat alone
-interrupted this pause of terrible silence. She looked at him, from head
-to foot, with a slow,<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_339" id="page_339"></a>{339}</span> dismal scrutiny. Only once before in her life had
-she met him face to face; then she had been strong enough to send him
-away and disown him. Now, perforce, the mother looked at her son. The
-young man trembled under that steady gaze; he held out his hands, and
-cried out “Mother!” as if all the eloquence in the world lay in that
-word. She continued perusing him all over with that slow examination.
-Gradually she returned to be herself again. Not changed, not subdued!
-Out of that death and agony there came forth, not a repentant woman, but
-Sarah Mortimer, a creature who would not believe in everlasting truth
-and justice&mdash;not though one should rise from the dead.</p>
-
-<p>“If you are Count Sermoneta,” she said, with all her old expression,
-pausing between the words to get strength, but speaking in her usual
-voice, “how do you dare come to me and offer what your father refused?
-Impostor! you shall never, never, never sit in my father’s place! I
-disown you. I&mdash;I have nothing to do with you. What! would you kill me
-again?”</p>
-
-<p>Here I interposed; I could not help myself. My very soul sickened at
-her. I came forward, without knowing what I was doing. “Let her alone,”
-I cried out, “don’t say anything. She has died and come alive again, and
-is no better. Do you think you can move her? Oh, Aunt Milly, it is your
-part now. Take him away out of her sight, leave her alone in her
-wretchedness. Can you bear to see her smiling there?&mdash;<i>smiling</i> at us!
-She is dead, and it is a devil that has come into her frame!”</p>
-
-<p>“Milly, hush, hush, you are mad,” cried Sara Cresswell, behind me; but
-Aunt Milly did not think I was mad. She came and put her arm into
-Luigi’s, her tears driven away by horror and indignation. “As sure as
-God sees us all,” cried Aunt Milly, “I will do you justice. Come away
-from her, as Milly, says. You make her wickeder and wickeder&mdash;Oh,
-wickeder than she really is! Oh, Sarah,” she cried out, turning suddenly
-round, “is it true?&mdash;is he your son?”</p>
-
-<p>Miss Mortimer said nothing;&mdash;the very colour had returned to her face.
-Her head trembled excessively, but she had forced some frightful
-caricature of a smile upon her lip. She held out her hand and pointed at
-them in a kind of derision. “You were always a fool,” she said at last,
-with a gasp. Aunt Milly did not wait or hesitate any longer. She was
-possessed, like me, with a sudden impatience and intolerance of that
-inhuman<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_340" id="page_340"></a>{340}</span> hard-heartedness. She went away hastily out of the room,
-drawing Luigi with her. Miss Mortimer listened to the sound of their
-steps till it had quite died away. Then she turned round to Carson with
-some instinctive confession of weakness at last. Their eyes met; but
-even Carson could no longer receive this dreadful confidence. She
-stumbled back from her mistress with a cry. “I cannot, I cannot!” cried
-Carson, “anything but this. I held him in my arms a baby, and I’ll never
-disown him, if I was to die.” As her mistress turned round upon her,
-Carson retreated back till she came to the wall, and stood there, fixed
-and desperate, holding up her hands as if to keep off those pursuing
-eyes. “Whatever you please!” cried Carson, “but not to disown him as I
-dressed the first day he was in this world. No! not for no payment nor
-coaxing! I’ve served you faithful all times and seasons, but I’ll not do
-no more, not if I was to die!”</p>
-
-<p>Miss Mortimer sat gazing at her rebellious maid. What no other appeal
-could do this did. She sank into the frail old woman she was, as she
-gazed at Carson, who had forsaken her. She broke forth into feeble,
-passionate tears. She could bear to send her son away from her, but she
-could not bear to lose her faithful companion and attendant of forty
-years. “Carson!” cried the broken voice, in a tone of absolute despair.
-Then Miss Mortimer rose up. I ran forward to her in terror, and so did
-Sara, but she waved us both away, steadied herself, cast a long look
-upon the woman who stood trembling against the wall, and slowly turned
-to make her way out of the room. She walked like some one upon whom
-sudden blindness had fallen, wavering, stopping to steady herself,
-putting out her hand to pilot the way, groping through the piercing
-daylight that penetrated every corner of the room. We followed her,
-trembling and terrified. As she went slowly through the long room, heavy
-sobs came from her poor breast, sobs of which she was not conscious; her
-muslin scarf had been torn and crushed in her dreadful faint, if it was
-a faint, and hung all dishevelled from her shoulders. One hand hung
-loosely down by her side, the other she groped with as she made her way.
-Now and then she moaned aloud. Oh, miserable forsaken creature! there
-had been still one link of life to hold her on to the living world.</p>
-
-<p>We went after her, silent, hushing our very steps lest she should turn
-upon us, and watching with a perfect awe of wonder how she steered
-herself through the room; she stumbled on the stair, but still rejected
-any assistance. All the way up<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_341" id="page_341"></a>{341}</span> she went forlorn, accepting no support.
-When we reached her door, I rushed forward not to let her shut me out.
-“Let me be your maid to-night,” I cried out, laying my hand upon hers.
-Her hand made me shiver; it was cold, as if it had actually been dead.
-She pushed me back, not looking at me, and shut the door. What she did,
-or how she sustained herself in that vacant room, we could see no
-longer. Sara and I, arrested at the door, turned and looked into each
-other’s faces. Sara broke out into the passionate tears of excitement
-and agitation which could be restrained no longer. “She will kill
-herself!” cried Sara. “Oh, godmamma, let me in, let <i>me</i> in. I will
-never cross you or trouble you. I will wait upon you night and day,
-godmamma!” No answer came. We tried to open the door, but she had
-fastened it. We could do nothing but leave her alone in this dreadful
-solitude. For a little while a rustling sound of motion was in the room,
-and still those pathetic, unconscious moans breaking at intervals into
-the silence. But after a while all became still. She had not fainted or
-fallen, for we should have heard her. She made no answer to our
-entreaties&mdash;dead silence reigned in the room where that living spirit,
-with all its dread forces and passions, palpitated within its veil of
-worn-out flesh. I could imagine her taking possession of that dreadful
-solitude, losing at a blow far more than reputation or fair-fame, all
-that made her life tolerable to her, entering upon a new, unthought of,
-murderous purgatory. We could not make up our minds to leave that closed
-door. Sara was still crying, and almost hysterical with her long strain
-of excitement. I made her go into the neighbouring room, where Lizzie
-was with my boy, while I ran downstairs for Aunt Milly. Oh, what a
-contrast it was! I snatched little Harry into my arms to kiss him, and
-went away again, with a pity, I cannot describe, past the door where
-that dreadful forsaken woman lay alone in the silence. I could not bear
-it. God alone knew how she had sinned; but to leave her thus deserted in
-her misery was not in the heart of man.</p>
-
-<p>I ran downstairs very hastily without waiting to think&mdash;at the foot of
-the stairs Carson stood crying. She gasped out an inquiry at me which
-was not audible at first. “Is she alone? alone? alone? Will nobody stay
-with her?” cried Carson. “Oh, ma’am, my missis will never let me near
-her again! I know it’s no use trying; but, for the love of mercy, let
-somebody get into the room! There’s poisons and all sorts there. God
-forgive me! couldn’t I have held my tongue?” cried the poor woman, in an
-agony of terror. I was angry with her in<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_342" id="page_342"></a>{342}</span> the impatience of my thoughts.
-I did not consider for how many long years Carson had endured all.</p>
-
-<p>“But why can’t you go up now? try if she will let you in; she is fond of
-you, Carson,” said I. “Oh, go, go, and try.”</p>
-
-<p>“She’ll never look at me more,” said Carson with mournful certainty;
-“but I’ll go, I’ll try. If it was at the end of the world, I’d go; but
-she’ll never see me again.” The poor woman went upstairs saying this
-over to herself, and dreadful as it was to think so, I was certain she
-was right.</p>
-
-<p>And I went on to the library where Aunt Milly was. She had forgotten her
-sister. She was listening, with a glowing face, with tears, and
-outcries, and lamentations, to the tale Luigi told her. Some papers were
-lying before them, and a miniature, which caught my eye even at such a
-moment&mdash;a picture of a lovely fair woman, imperious and splendid. I
-cannot say that it bore any resemblance to the wretched, solitary
-creature upstairs; but I knew it was Sarah Mortimer,&mdash;Sarah Mortimer,
-unkind, untrue, a woman making no account of love or tenderness; but not
-the Sarah Mortimer who had delivered herself to the devil, and turned
-her back upon nature. I pointed at it unconsciously in my excitement. It
-was easier than naming her name.</p>
-
-<p>“Do you know she is alone upstairs, by herself?” cried I, “perhaps
-dying, and nobody with her! Aunt Milly, you are her sister. She will
-neither let us in, nor answer us. You have a right to go to her. There
-are all kinds of dangerous things in the room&mdash;she might die!”</p>
-
-<p>“But Carson&mdash;Carson is there,” cried Aunt Milly, grasping my hand, to
-bring me to myself. “My dear, Carson is a better companion than either
-you or me.”</p>
-
-<p>“But Carson has gone,” I cried, “Carson will never be with her any more.
-Hush! was that a sound upstairs? Come, I entreat you! She is all alone,
-quite alone, not a creature with her. It is heartrending to think what
-she is doing there&mdash;come! come!”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly stood perplexed. She could not comprehend Carson’s absence,
-and I might have had a long account of the whole matter to go through
-had not Luigi come to my assistance. He took her hand hurriedly, and
-pressed it in his own.</p>
-
-<p>“My aunt, I can wait,” said Luigi, “and I <i>will</i> till there is time for
-me; but my mother, my mother is&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Aunt Milly started, and understood all in a moment. His<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_343" id="page_343"></a>{343}</span> mother, the
-unfortunate wretched woman who had disowned and rejected him&mdash;no need
-for over-much explaining, or setting-forth of all the darker shades of
-the picture to show her wretchedness. Nature and she had parted company,
-and there was nothing too dreadful that might not befall her in the
-fatal silence of that secluded room.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_344" id="page_344"></a>{344}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XVII-f" id="Chapter_XVII-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XVII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">A</span><span class="smcap">LL</span> the remainder of that dreadful afternoon we spent in vain endeavours
-to get admission. No answer came to us from those closed doors&mdash;silence,
-dead and unbroken, was within those concealing walls, which it seemed
-wonderful to me did not beat and throb with the torturing life within
-them. The whole house was disturbed, as was to be supposed. While we
-stood in an anxious, troubled group round Miss Mortimer’s door, Carson,
-with her melancholy and ashamed face, stood anxious and terrified at a
-little distance&mdash;the maids below came to take furtive peeps upon the
-stairs&mdash;and Ellis himself stood listening in the hall, catching at every
-sound. The whole house was conscious of some dreadful crisis, which had
-occurred, or was occurring; and even in the frightful anxiety which
-possessed us, Aunt Milly began to feel that extraordinary infraction of
-all the decorums of such a house. She whispered to Sara to leave us, and
-go downstairs to restore the equilibrium of the household a little, and
-sent Carson into Lizzie’s room, where the poor creature sank,
-overpowered and almost fainting, upon the bed. Then Aunt Milly went away
-to her own apartment, and came back with a huge bunch of keys. With
-these in her hand she motioned me to follow her round about into the
-little corridor to which Miss Mortimer’s dressing-room opened. “Milly,
-stand by me,” she cried, with a sob. “I’d rather face so many lions than
-go in upon her against her will&mdash;but it must be&mdash;I cannot help myself.
-After what we saw to-day, I should be guilty, I should be a
-criminal&mdash;don’t you think so, Milly?&mdash;if I left her alone to-night.”</p>
-
-<p>It was getting dusk, and the light was pale and ghastly in that little
-corridor which was close upon the backstairs, and very bare and chill.
-The door opened without the assistance of the keys. We went into the
-little luxurious room where the fire burned brightly, warm though the
-weather was, and which bore all the marks of being lived in and
-cherished. An easy-chair and footstool were placed at the side of the
-fire, and close by stood a little table with a raised ornamental rim,
-like a tray, in which some books and some of Miss Mortimer’s materials<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_345" id="page_345"></a>{345}</span>
-for work were placed. At the other end of the room was a window, where
-stood a plain rush-bottomed chair and a large round basket of work;
-there was Carson’s place; and the union of the two in this their joint
-retirement and dwelling-place&mdash;the junction of the lady’s luxuries and
-the servant’s labours in this habitation common to them both&mdash;struck me
-with a pathetic force, now that this old, long, immemorial connection
-was brought to a close so hurriedly. Aunt Milly did not linger in this
-room; she went straight to the door leading into the bedchamber which
-was fastened. “Sarah,” she called softly, “Sarah!” there was no answer.
-We listened, and the silence round was dreadful; the silence and the
-gathering twilight, and the terrible mystery of life or death that lay
-in that closed-up room. Then she tried the keys with her trembling
-hands. Still not a word from the solitary within, not even of
-remonstrance or indignation. After what seemed to us a dreadful tedious
-interval, in which the night appeared visibly to darken round us, the
-lock at length yielded. The key that had been in it fell, with a dull,
-heavy sound, inside, making our hearts beat. Then Aunt Milly opened the
-door. I shall never forget the sensation with which I entered that dark
-room. What we were to find there, a ghastly corpse or a miserable living
-creature, nobody could tell; treading on the soft carpets that made our
-footsteps noiseless, brushing past those soft-drawn curtains which shut
-out every draught, coming into this atmosphere of care, and comfort, and
-luxury, the contrast was almost too dreadful to bear. I remember trying
-to listen for her breath, but could not for the terrified beating of my
-own heart. The darkness made everything more dreadful still, for the
-blinds were drawn down, and the little light there was fell so faintly
-through them that we could scarcely find our way through the room. Aunt
-Milly was before me; she made a terrified plunge forward, and gave a cry
-as we came past the head of the bed, which was towards the dressing-room
-door. Something lay in a heap on the floor by the side of the bed. She
-threw herself down on the floor beside that heap. I don’t think she was
-conscious, even when she touched it, what it was; but as I rushed to
-help her, as I thought, I was suddenly arrested by a gleam of eyes from
-the bed. “I am not dead,” said Miss Mortimer. I could not help nor
-command myself. Some scream or shriek came from me in the extremity of
-my awe and terror. I could hear it answered by a sudden stir and
-commotion outside the door. “They’re killing my mistress,” was Lizzie’s
-voice; and with the wildest alarm lest some violent<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_346" id="page_346"></a>{346}</span> attack on the door
-should follow, I rushed to it, opened it, and asked for lights.</p>
-
-<p>Outside were half the household grouped at various distances. No
-precautions could stifle that eager curiosity which knew by instinct
-that some wonderful mystery was here. They all dispersed when they saw
-me, frightened and ashamed of themselves. Only Lizzie kept her ground.
-She seized hold of my sleeve and detained me. “You’re no to stay there!”
-cried Lizzie. “Oh, no <i>you</i>, no <i>you</i>! You’ll gang and let them kill
-you, and the bairn’ll perish, and the Captain never come hame! Let <i>me</i>
-in! I’ll get the drinks and keep up the fire, and never close an e’e;
-but it’s no you that’s to watch, and you the light o’ folks e’en. It’s
-no to be you! If I was to gang to my bed and sleep, what would the
-Captain say to me?” cried poor Lizzie, with a trembling burst of
-excitement and anxiety, standing close up by me, holding my sleeve,
-pressing to enter the room. Somehow it comforted me, though it was a
-piece of folly. I told her again to get the lights, and went back into
-the dark, solemn room. These sounds of the outside world had not entered
-there. Miss Mortimer lay on the bed with her eyes wide-awake and
-gleaming, gathering into them all the little light in the room. Aunt
-Milly stood beside her, asking how she was; herself scarcely recovered
-from the shock that had been given her by that heap of clothes upon the
-floor, trembling, not knowing very well what she said, her great
-yearning anxiety and curiosity to get at her sister’s heart, overflowing
-in uneasy questions. Did she feel ill? Would she have anything? How was
-she? Miss Mortimer took no notice of her questions. She repeated once “I
-am not dead,” with a strange spitefulness and defiance, and for the rest
-lay silent, looking at me as I moved about the room, a dark
-undecipherable figure, and at poor Aunt Milly standing beside me. She
-took no other notice. It seemed to please her to lie there silent,
-defying all our curiosity. But she did not complain or find fault with
-our presence. I believe in my heart she was glad to have her dreadful
-solitude thus broken, and that it was a comfort to her desolation to see
-living creatures moving in the darkness. I cannot help thinking so; but
-after that one expression, twice repeated, not all the anxious questions
-of her sister could bring a syllable to her lips.</p>
-
-<p>When the candles came she closed her eyes; then, after a little
-interval, made a wrench at the curtains and gave an impatient sigh. The
-sigh was for Carson, who doubtless knew exactly what she liked and what
-she did not like. The fire<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_347" id="page_347"></a>{347}</span> was laid already in the grate, and I lighted
-it, and began to put away those things which lay on the floor. Wherever
-I moved, when it was within her sight, she followed me with her eyes
-from within the crimson shadow of the curtain. She was perfectly
-composed and self-possessed. She was even well as it appeared. The
-ghastly colour had disappeared from her face. She lay there
-self-absorbed, as she sat over her knitting. All the dread incidents of
-this day had passed over, and left Sarah Mortimer unchanged. Such a
-woman could deny, defy, live through any thing. I watched her with
-indescribable awe and&mdash;&mdash;. Well! I had pitied her while she was alone;
-but do you suppose I could love such a woman, lying there unmoved and
-unrepentant, in her dread self-occupation? It was not possible I hated
-her, loathed her, turned away with sickening and disgust from her
-dreadful looks. It was hard, even, to pity her now.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_348" id="page_348"></a>{348}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XVIII-f" id="Chapter_XVIII-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XVIII.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">HAD</span> with difficulty overcome Aunt Milly. I had represented to her how
-much better I was able to bear it than she, and Aunt Milly herself had
-sent off Sara Cresswell to bed. It was late at night, and all the house
-was still. We were both together in the dressing-room. Nothing would
-persuade dear Aunt Milly to leave me alone to this vigil. She wrapped
-herself in a shawl and lay down upon the sofa. “I am at hand the moment
-I am wanted,” she said. I had kissed baby, and said my prayers beside
-him. I was not frightened or nervous now. I went in, wrapped in my
-dressing-gown, to look at my patient. She stretched out her hand, and
-then when she saw me, drew it back again with a fretful groan, and
-turned her face to the wall. It was Carson, still Carson, whom she
-missed at every turn. But she did not answer me when I asked if she
-wanted anything, she only groaned again with a dismal impotence and
-impatience. I sat and watched her at a distance while she lay in that
-broad wakefulness, her eyes wandering to and fro, her mind evidently
-wandering, too, into never-ending thought. It was to me a spirit,
-somehow, chained and fettered to a body it could not throw off, which
-lay in irksome confinement on that bed,&mdash;a spirit ever active,
-sleepless, evil. Why was I sitting up with her? she was not even ill.
-Was it that she had died that day, and some wicked spirit had taken
-possession of the exhausted frame? I declare that this idea returned to
-me in spite of myself. I could not escape from it; as the night crept on
-strange fears came over me. Her eyes fascinated mine. I could not
-withdraw my gaze from those two gleams of strange light within the
-crimson curtains, moving about from minute to minute with their restless
-observation. What was she thinking of? Could she tell that, under this
-roof, the roof of his fathers, her injured son was sleeping? Was she
-thinking of her youth, her life, the past, with all its dread,
-pertinacious, stubborn cruelty? I did not know then how the
-extraordinary story told by Luigi could be harmonised into possibility.
-I could not think of any story; I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_349" id="page_349"></a>{349}</span> could think of nothing but that
-solitary woman pursuing those sleepless thoughts, which nobody shared,
-through all the dread recesses of her conscience, through all the
-scenes, visible to her only, of her hidden mysterious life.</p>
-
-<p>It must have been about midnight when some one knocked softly at the
-door. It made me start painfully with a terror I could not subdue. I
-rose to see who it was, trembling at the summons. It was Carson, who
-called me anxiously into the drawing room. She did not say anything, but
-drew me to a little medicine-chest, which she opened, and from which,
-all silently, with the speed of long custom, she took a little bottle,
-and dropped some of its contents into a glass of water. “You must put
-this by her bedside,” whispered Carson, “and here are all her medicines;
-but don’t drop them yourself, for the love of pity!&mdash;you’ve no
-experience. You might give her her death. When my missis wants her
-draughts, will you call me?” While I promised to do so, Aunt Milly woke
-up from a short sleep. “Has anything happened, Milly?” she cried,
-starting up suddenly. Nothing had happened but that her start had thrown
-down a footstool, and made a noise which sounded dreadful in the calm of
-the night. The three of us dispersed hastily upon that sound. Carson
-disappeared out of the room. Aunt Milly sat up trembling on the sofa. I
-went back to the patient. The noise had roused her. She had struggled up
-in bed, and was trying to look round to the dressing-room door.</p>
-
-<p>“Who is it?” she cried, when I went in, her eyes fixing on me with
-something of the dreadful expression they had in the drawing-room, as if
-she had lost control over them, and the orbs turned wildly out and
-fluttered to the light. “If it’s <i>him</i>, let him come here.”</p>
-
-<p>“It was only Carson,” I said.</p>
-
-<p>“Carson? let her not come near me. I will do her an injury,” cried Miss
-Mortimer with wild exasperation. Then she suffered herself to fall back
-on her pillows. “They’re all in a plot,” she went on, “all in a plot,
-the very woman I trusted; I shall never trust anybody any more. But
-here’s the wonderful thing; she is just as great a coward as she is a
-fool; and to think she should hate me so much as to be able to go up and
-down these passages in the middle of the night with a dead man! Hark,
-there they are!”</p>
-
-<p>I fell back from the bedside at the words, unable to refrain from a
-shudder of horror.</p>
-
-<p>“You’re afraid,” said Miss Mortimer, looking at me with a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_350" id="page_350"></a>{350}</span> kind of
-contemptuous curiosity. “Yet you saw him come in yesterday and you did
-not faint. I remember seeing you stare and stare. Ah! it’s strange to
-see a dead man!”</p>
-
-<p>“I saw nobody but Luigi; nobody but your son,” cried I, in dismay.</p>
-
-<p>When it was said I drew back in alarm, lest the words should rouse her
-into passion. But they did not. She was beyond that.</p>
-
-<p>“I could not see him, though,” she continued, going on in her dreadful
-monologue; “it was only a kind of feeling he was there, and the scent of
-the syringas in the garden. You know it’s very overpowering; those they
-call the Virgin’s Breast. It was that made me faint.”</p>
-
-<p>Here she fixed her eyes on me again, as if she imagined that she had
-been setting up a plausible plea and dared me to contradict it.</p>
-
-<p>“I wonder if he’s as handsome now he’s dead,” she went on in a very low
-tone; “he was never as handsome for a man as I was for a woman. I’ll
-never, never speak to Carson again; but you might ask her if he’s kept
-his looks. Ah! I thought I saw some one behind the curtains there; but
-he’ll never appear to me. For he swore, you know, he swore, he was never
-to give me any trouble, and he kept his word till he died.”</p>
-
-<p>“Oh, Miss Mortimer,”&mdash;I cried, coming forward to the bed with the glass
-in my hand. She held out hers eagerly, and interrupted me.</p>
-
-<p>“Miss Mortimer! to be sure I am Miss Mortimer; I have always been Miss
-Mortimer, you know that; then what’s all this made up story about a son?
-For, you know,” she said, sinking her voice again into a whisper, and
-holding the glass in her hand, “to be called countess would have been a
-temptation to many a woman. But I never would have it, not for a day,
-never after he refused to take our name. That’s what a man calls love,
-you know. You shall take his name if it’s a beggar’s, and he will not
-take yours if it brings a kingdom. But I was not the sort of woman to be
-a beggarly Italian countess. And I’ve beaten him in his grave,” she
-cried out in ghastly triumph,&mdash;“in his grave I’ve got the victory over
-him! Here’s the child on his knees to me to call him Lewis Mortimer. Ah!
-you’re Richard Mortimer’s daughter. I might have married Richard if I
-had known how things were going to turn out. We’ll set it all right
-to-morrow. Yes; stand by me, and we’ll set it all right. There’s no dead
-man shall conquer me. Do you hear? There he is pacing about the passage
-as he<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_351" id="page_351"></a>{351}</span> used to do when I refused to see him. But he dared not come in;
-no, not if I had been a thousand times his wife.”</p>
-
-<p>And I cannot help it if people may think me a fool; there were steps
-outside in the passage. If it was a living creature I cannot tell; but,
-as certain as I live, there were footsteps going up and down, up and
-down, with a heavy, melancholy tread. She looked at me full in the face
-as we heard them going on. She began to tremble so that the bed shook
-under her; her eyes grew wilder, her colour more ghastly. In spite of
-all she said, she was stricken to her very heart with fear.</p>
-
-<p>And as for me, I did not feel I had courage to open the door. I called
-out, “Whoever you are, go away, I beseech,&mdash;go away! She cannot rest
-while you are here.” The steps stopped in a moment, then, after a pause,
-went on and went away, growing fainter in the distance. Thank heaven it
-must have been somebody living! perhaps Carson, perhaps her son.</p>
-
-<p>When I came back to the bedside she had dropped asleep&mdash;actually, in the
-midst of her terror, had fallen into an unnatural slumber. It was an
-opiate that Carson had given her. The little medicine-chest was full of
-different kinds of opiates. Scarcely one of them that was not marked
-poison. I looked into the dressing-room for a minute to comfort poor
-Aunt Milly, who had heard all her sister said, and was in a dreadful
-state of agitation. She kissed me and blessed me, and leaned her dear
-kind head upon my shoulder for the moment I dared stay beside her. “She
-would never have said so much to me,” said Aunt Milly, and wrapped her
-own shawl round me, and tried to make me take some wine which she had
-brought upstairs. When I would not take that, lest it should make me
-sleepy, Aunt Milly got up from the sofa to make some tea for me.
-Everybody knows such nights&mdash;everybody knows how some one always tries
-to comfort the watcher with such attentions&mdash;tender, useless,
-heartbreaking attempts at outside consolation. I went back to the sick
-room with a pang both of relief and anguish. If it had been my husband
-or my baby that I was watching! Thank God it was not so! but the picture
-came before me with a terrible force just then, when I did not know
-where Harry was, nor how he might be lying, nor who might be watching
-over him. I tried to shut out my own thoughts from this room; but who
-could ever do that? I fancied I could see white soldiers’ huts rising in
-the darkness, and groans of wounded men. It was a relief to me when my
-patient groaned and turned in her bed. But she did not wake; She lay all
-night long in what seemed more like a stupor than a<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_352" id="page_352"></a>{352}</span> sleep, interrupted
-by groans and stifled outcries, and long sighs that broke one’s heart.
-No wonder we had heard of her bad nights.</p>
-
-<p>In the morning, when she woke at last, Miss Mortimer turned round upon
-me with a half-stupified, wondering stare. Then she recollected herself.
-She did not speak, but I saw all the thoughts of the previous night come
-slowly back to her face. She watched me arranging the room in the
-cheerful morning light; she even permitted me to raise her among her
-pillows, and swallowed, though with an effort, the tea I brought her.
-She bore no malice against me for anything I had said. She seemed even
-pleased to have me beside her; but it was not for my sake; I believe she
-thought I was doing it for an interested reason. And she&mdash;she thought
-she had found an accomplice in me.</p>
-
-<p>This morning she spoke with difficulty, and her looks were changed. She
-looked ill, very ill. The morning light showed a strange widening and
-breadth about her eyes, a solemn fixed expression in her face, which,
-though I had never watched it coming before, went to my heart with an
-instinctive chill and recognition. She could not bear me to be out of
-her sight for a moment. When I went to the dressing-room door to speak a
-word to Aunt Milly she called me back with an impatient, stifled cry. At
-last she beckoned me close to her bedside.</p>
-
-<p>“I want&mdash;I want&mdash;send&mdash;let him come,” she stammered out.</p>
-
-<p>“Luigi?” I said.</p>
-
-<p>She clasped her hands together in an access of passion. “To make my
-will,” she cried, with a kind of scream; “now&mdash;now&mdash;this moment.” When
-she had uttered the words she fell back panting, a flush of weakness and
-fever coming to her face. I went and told Aunt Milly, who, all troubled
-as she was, sent off a messenger immediately for Mr. Cresswell. “I will
-send for the doctor, too, and&mdash;and the clergyman; but what can Dr.
-Roberts do for <i>her</i>?” cried poor Aunt Milly, wringing her hands. The
-clergyman! What, indeed, could that sleek, comfortable man do at this
-deathbed of guilt and passion? Ah me! A poor priest might have done
-something, perhaps, or a poor preacher accustomed to matters of life and
-death.</p>
-
-<p>The day glided on while we waited. She would not let me leave her; but
-she did not say anything, except disjointed murmurs, and strange broken
-conversations with herself. It was not the present time that her mind
-was busy with. Listening in the silence of that room I became aware of a
-passionate<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_353" id="page_353"></a>{353}</span> prime of life, an Italian summer, a bitter mortification,
-disappointment, revenge&mdash;revenge which had come back upon the
-remorseless inflictor, and made her life the desert it had been. It all
-opened up before me in breaks and glimpses; afterwards, when I knew the
-story, it was with the force of an actual representation that I
-remembered this broken, unconscious autobiography. She was not raving;
-she was only calling up and setting in order the incidents of that
-crisis of her life, I cannot follow her through it now; but I remember
-that the awe, and interest, and excitement kept me from feeling any
-weariness.</p>
-
-<p>I could not turn away for any sort of refreshment; I sat fascinated
-before that revelation of the secret of her days. She seemed to have
-foresworn husband and child, life itself and all that made it bearable,
-in dreadful vengeance for some broken promise or unfulfilled vow. Her
-father came flitting across the troubled picture; the count, and some
-dreadful controversy about a name, all intermixed with recollections of
-certain rooms and their furniture; of a garden and a thicket of
-syringas. What that point of deception or disappointment was, on which
-the whole story turned, I could not tell; but for this she had left the
-stream of life when life was at its fullest promise; for this she had
-settled down in a frightful, stubborn determination, behind that screen
-in the drawing-room of the Park. All her after existence, huddled up
-into one long monotonous day, had not made these scenes less fresh in
-her memory. This was now she had revenged herself&mdash;on the Count, who was
-dead&mdash;on her son, whom she disowned and cast away from her; ah! above
-all, a thousand times more bitterly, on herself.</p>
-
-<p>It was afternoon when Mr. Cresswell came. He was brought up to the room
-immediately, without a word of explanation, and accordingly knew nothing
-of all the dreadful history of the last twenty-four hours. He had not
-even a hint that anything was changed, except the health of Miss
-Mortimer. He came and expressed his concern in the common-place tone of
-an unexcited stranger; he expressed his surprise to see me with her. In
-his heart he set it down that this will was of my suggesting. I am
-certain he did; and smiled to find me the nurse of the sick woman. But
-Miss Mortimer (that I should still go on calling her by that name after
-all I had heard!) left him very little time. She recovered herself
-wonderfully at sight of him; her very utterance became easier in the
-anxiety she showed to express herself plainly. She was impatient of<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_354" id="page_354"></a>{354}</span> his
-inquiries and condolences. She moved her hands uneasily about the bed,
-and for a moment her eyes fluttered as they had done the day before; but
-as soon as he had prepared his papers, and taken his pen in hand, she
-was composed again. My heart beat so loud with anxiety to hear what she
-said, that I could scarcely breathe. Was she now at last to set right
-the injustice of a life?</p>
-
-<p>“Write,” she cried, with a gasp for breath, “that I leave
-everything&mdash;mind, it is everything, Bob Cresswell, no partitions. My
-sister Milly, though she is a fool, is as fond of her, ah! as&mdash;as I
-am&mdash;all the Park and the lands belonging to it, to Millicent Mortimer.
-There! the young soldier’s wife; and to&mdash;eh! who is it? Who speaks to
-me?”</p>
-
-<p>I grasped her hand hard in my sudden passion. It was cold, cold, a dead
-hand, and horrified me with its touch. “Stop,” I cried, “oh, stop, Mr.
-Cresswell; she cannot mean such horrible injustice! Miss Mortimer!
-Countess! whatever you are! will you dare to die and never repent? Do
-you think I will let you bring a curse on my innocent baby? Stop! Stop!
-I forbid it, for her soul’s sake!”</p>
-
-<p>Mr. Cresswell pushed back his chair and stared in amazement too great
-for words. She looked at me with a strange air of cunning and superior
-wisdom, and then at him.</p>
-
-<p>“She thinks,” said the dying woman, in a kind of whisper, addressing Mr.
-Cresswell, “to draw me into some foolish talk, and bring it up against
-the will. Fool! they are all fools; go on.”</p>
-
-<p>“What does it mean?” he said looking at me.</p>
-
-<p>“It means that she ought to do justice,” I cried; “that it is all she
-can do now; that she is going to die without repenting, without making
-amends. If you write it, it will be a sin.”</p>
-
-<p>“Bob Cresswell, go on; it is I who am the person to be attended to,”
-said Miss Mortimer. “This creature, do you hear, is a fool. I know what
-I mean.”</p>
-
-<p>“There is something here I don’t understand; my dear lady, you’re not so
-very ill, suppose we put it off,” said the lawyer in great perplexity;
-“and there’s Miss Milly, you know, she has her share in the Park.”</p>
-
-<p>“Attend to <i>me</i>!” cried Miss Mortimer, wildly. “You will kill me; am I
-to be thwarted <i>now</i>, as well as all my life? Oh, good heavens! in my
-own house, and in bed, and perhaps going to die&mdash;and I am not to have my
-will, my will! I shall have my will, if I should write it myself!”<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_355" id="page_355"></a>{355}</span></p>
-
-<p>She stretched out her eager hand towards the writing things, stretching
-out of bed, and by some chance touched Mr. Cresswell. When he felt that
-deathly touch he grew very grave, and started with a shudder. He took up
-his pen immediately.</p>
-
-<p>“I will do what you please,” he said. He could not resist that cry of
-death.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_356" id="page_356"></a>{356}</span></p>
-
-<h3><a name="Chapter_XIX-f" id="Chapter_XIX-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XIX.</span></h3>
-
-<p class="nind"><span class="letra">I</span> <span class="smcap">RAN</span> downstairs in desperation. I could not be content to let that
-dreadful mockery go on. It was vain, for we never, never, would have
-taken another man’s rights; but for herself, the miserable, guilty
-woman, to hinder her by any means, to save her from putting that seal
-upon all her cruelty and falsehood. I saw nobody as I flew down the
-stairs, though afterwards I was conscious that Lizzie had been standing
-there with my beautiful innocent boy. Do you think I would consent for a
-kingdom to bring the curse of wrongful wealth upon little Harry? Not if
-starvation and misery had been the only other choice!</p>
-
-<p>I burst into the library, where I knew Aunt Milly was. Pale with
-watching and anxiety, she was sitting propped up in an easy-chair, with
-Sara Cresswell and Luigi beside her. I believe they had been telling her
-their story, and she, straining her ear for every sound, had been trying
-to listen to them. When I came in she started up from her chair and came
-to meet me, unconsciously putting them away. “What is it, Milly?” she
-cried, putting out her arms to me. I dared not permit myself to rest or
-even lean upon her. I seized her hand and drew her to the door.</p>
-
-<p>“Come up, and interfere,” I cried; “she is making her dreadful will. She
-is leaving everything to me. Come, before she has put the seal to all
-this misery. Aunt Milly, can you stand aside and let this be done?”</p>
-
-<p>“My dear,” said Aunt Milly, with a burst of tears, kissing me and
-looking in my face, “you know I love you, Milly; you know you are almost
-dearer to me now than any creature on earth.”</p>
-
-<p>I could not thank her; I had no time. I did not feel grateful or
-pleased, but only impatient. “Come; come!” I repeated almost with
-violence. I could not understand how she could delay.</p>
-
-<p>“Let her do what she will,” cried Aunt Milly. “If I go<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_357" id="page_357"></a>{357}</span> and argue with
-her, it will only make her worse. Oh, child! we can’t cross her now;
-don’t you see we can’t cross her now? But I took a vow, as sure as God
-saw us, I would do justice,” said Aunt Milly, solemnly through her
-tears. “She can but do what she can. We are co-heiresses! she has no
-power but over her own share.”</p>
-
-<p>“Share!” I cried, “is it shares we have to think of? She is dying, and
-she does not repent.”</p>
-
-<p>I could not wait there any longer; they all followed upstairs, Aunt
-Milly holding my hand. They all came into the dressing-room, where we
-could faintly hear Miss Mortimer’s voice, and where Carson stood
-trembling at the door. At this moment there was no order or rule in the
-stricken house. Then Aunt Milly went with me into the sick room. Mr.
-Cresswell was writing, and Miss Mortimer had stopped speaking. She
-turned her eyes triumphantly upon us both.</p>
-
-<p>“I have carried out your wishes, Milly. I have left everything to your
-favourite,” she said, with pauses to got her breath. “You may sign it
-after me, and then it will be complete.”</p>
-
-<p>“Sarah, that boy, that boy!” cried Aunt Milly. “Oh, put out your hand to
-him just once&mdash;think, before it is finished, what claims he has. Give
-him something. Sarah! Sarah! you would not take me into your confidence;
-but I’ll go down on my knees to you if you’ll do justice to that boy!”</p>
-
-<p>“I am going to die,” said Miss Mortimer, after a pause. “I can see it in
-all your faces. I can’t be much worse off than I’ve been here. But look
-you, Milly, if you come and drive me into passion; if that wretched boy
-so much as comes near me, I’ll die directly, and you’ll be my murderers.
-His father made the choice&mdash;and I will not change, no, not if he came
-again, as he did yesterday, with the dead man. Cresswell, I’m growing a
-little faint. Is it ready to sign?”</p>
-
-<p>He brought it and laid it before her on the bed; and she called to me to
-raise her up. I was desperate. I would rather have been content to be
-her murderer, as she said, than to let her do that sin.</p>
-
-<p>“You are not Sarah Mortimer,” said I, as with great difficulty she wrote
-her signature. “It is a false name, and you know it is. Write your own
-name, Countess Sermoneta, and let everybody know that you have
-disinherited your son.”</p>
-
-<p>She stared round at me, setting her teeth, then returned to the paper,
-and with a desperate resolution completed it. I<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_358" id="page_358"></a>{358}</span> stood perfectly aghast
-as I saw that dead hand trace those words, which to me cut her off for
-ever from every hope:&mdash;“By marriage, Sermoneta.” God help us! was there
-now no place of repentance?</p>
-
-<p>“And now,” she said, falling back on her pillows, “send me Carson&mdash;I
-want no more&mdash;no more from anybody; send me my maid. I’ll forgive <i>her</i>
-though she deserted me;&mdash;nobody,” sobbed the poor voice, all at once
-breaking and growing feeble,&mdash;“nobody knows me but Carson. I want my
-maid; Carson, here!”</p>
-
-<p>She had scarcely spoken, when Carson was by her side kneeling down at
-the bed, kissing the cold hand held out to her with such tears and eager
-affection as I never saw a servant show to a mistress. It was a
-reconciliation of love. The tears came into Miss Mortimer’s eyes. She
-gave her hand to her maid’s caresses with actual affection. It was the
-strangest conclusion to that dismal scene. One after another we three
-went out of the room confounded. Aunt Milly weeping tears, the
-bitterness of which I could not enter into. Mr. Cresswell, with a face
-of utter wonder, and myself, too much shocked and shaken to be able for
-anything. I could not go downstairs with them. I took refuge in the room
-that had been fitted up as a nursery for my baby. I got my boy into my
-arms and cried over him. It was too much; when he put his innocent arms
-round my neck and laid his cheek to mine to console me, my happiness
-struck me as with a pang. Oh, the unutterable things she had lost, that
-poor, miserable woman! I got up again to rush back to her with my baby,
-and see if that would not touch her heart, but stumbled in weariness and
-weakness, and fell on my knees on the floor. That was all that was to be
-done. I acknowledged it with that dreadful sense of impotence that one
-has, when hearts and souls have to be dealt with. On my knees I might
-help that desolate, lonely creature,&mdash;nowhere else, in no other manner.
-And even this not now. I was worn out with excitement and distress. I
-was ashamed to think, or permit myself to say, that one night’s watching
-had done it. I had to put little Harry back into Lizzie’s hands and lie
-down in the waning daylight. My head throbbed, and my heart beat, so
-that I could not even recollect my thoughts. And all that had happened
-seemed to have no impression but one upon me. I never thought of that
-group downstairs going over the wonderful story which nobody had so much
-as guessed at. I thought only of that hopeless woman, in her shut-up
-room, slowly floating out of existence, dying hour by hour, and minute
-by<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_359" id="page_359"></a>{359}</span> minute, unchanged and unsubdued. What was death that it should
-change her, whom love and pity, and the long-suffering of God had not
-changed? But I thought to myself I could never more blame those who
-preach out of season as well as in season, and cannot be silent. There
-were moments in which I could not endure myself&mdash;in which I felt as if I
-must go and make another appeal to her&mdash;even at the risk of thrusting
-myself into the room, and disturbing the quiet of her last hours.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_360" id="page_360"></a>{360}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="Chapter_XX-f" id="Chapter_XX-f"></a><span class="smcap">Chapter XX.</span><br /><br />
-BY MISS MILLY MORTIMER.</h2>
-
-<p>It is I who must finish what there is to tell. My dear Milly was not in
-a condition, either of mind or body, to go on with the story that had
-moved her so much; and since then, poor dear child, you may suppose how
-little heart she had to enter upon other things. We heard of the battle
-that had just been fought not long after, and knew that Harry was sure
-to have been in it, having got letters from him of his safe arrival just
-the day after my sister’s death. And then we had to wait for the lists.
-I can tell nobody how we lived through these days. She used to go down
-and teach in the village school, and to all the distressed people near.
-The things she did for them might have shocked me at another time.
-Anything, it did not matter what, a servant’s work, whatever there might
-happen to be to do&mdash;and came home at night tired to death, but with no
-sleep in her poor eyes. She used to say, though she could not sleep,
-that it was a kind of comfort to be very tired, it dulled her a little
-in her heart. When the news came he was slightly wounded, and had
-distinguished himself, she fell down in a faint at my feet. It was the
-first moment she dared be insensible. After that little term of relief,
-our anxieties were constant. But at last, you know, it is all over, and
-he is coming home.</p>
-
-<p>But to go back to that day. When we left my sister’s deathbed, and I,
-without even Milly to support me, went down alone with them all to hear
-everything told over again, and all Mr. Cresswell’s remarks and
-astonishment, you may well imagine it was very hard to me. I would have
-given anything to have been able to keep all that from Mr. Cresswell,
-but after what he had heard, and Sarah’s extraordinary signature, of
-course it was indispensable that he should understand the whole
-business; as well as for my nephew’s sake. I am bound to say Luigi
-behaved to his poor mother in a very different way from that in which
-she had treated him. If she had been the best mother in the world he
-could not have told the tale more<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_361" id="page_361"></a>{361}</span> gently. He went over it all,&mdash;how
-there had been a secret marriage done in Leghorn, where it was not
-unlawful for a Catholic to marry a Protestant, and where his father came
-under some engagement to take our own name. How it was kept secret for
-some reason of her own. How my father found it out. How the Count was
-summoned and called upon to bind himself, now that the affair could not
-be mended, to come home with them, and take the name of Mortimer. How,
-being dreadfully irritated by his wife (I don’t doubt she could have
-driven a man mad, especially in the days of her beauty), he refused; and
-how she had renounced, and given him up, and had nothing more to say to
-him. You may say, why did not he claim his rights? I can’t tell. He
-might have ruined her reputation, to be sure, or made the whole story
-public; but I suppose she must have been more than a match for him. She
-retired away into some village, and had her baby, and left it there.
-Then she came home. The Count never disturbed her all his life; and when
-he died he told his son the story, and bade him never to rest till he
-had recovered his mother. The young man, all amazed, full of grief for
-his father and anxiety to find <i>her</i>, came to England, asking for the
-Countess Sermoneta. It was only after many failures, and seeking better
-information from his father’s papers, that he came to believe that she
-called herself still Miss Mortimer; and we know all the rest. Luigi did
-not blame her, not a single word; he sat with his head leaning on his
-hands, overcome with distress and trouble. He called her his mother, his
-mother, every time he spoke, and said the name in such a tone as would
-have gone to anybody’s heart. Little Sara sat gazing at him all the
-time, with her whole heart in her eyes. When he covered his face with
-his hands in that pitiful way, Sara was unable to contain herself; she
-moved restlessly in her seat, fell a-crying in extreme agitation, and
-then, just for a moment, laid her hand upon his and pressed it with a
-quick momentary touch of sympathy. Her father’s eyes gleamed out for a
-moment surprise, anger, I cannot tell what mixture of feelings; but,
-dear! dear! what had their courtships and lovemakings to do in this
-stricken house? I could not bear any such question just at that moment.
-I told Cresswell that it was needful he should make my will, too, as
-well as my sister’s, and that I left my share to my nephew, without any
-conditions. Cresswell made objections, as was natural for a lawyer. His
-objections were too much for me; I got angry and impatient, more than I
-ought to have done. Here was he pottering about proofs and<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_362" id="page_362"></a>{362}</span> such things,
-when I knew, and had seen, and read it all in my sister’s face. This
-story was the key to Sarah’s life; I understood it all now what it
-meant, from her never-uttered quarrel with my father, down to the time
-when she met Luigi on the road. And the man spoke to me about proofs! I
-made him draw out a kind of form of a will, like that which Sarah had
-signed, but which Mr. Cresswell worded so cautiously, that it would be
-null if Luigi was not proved my nephew&mdash;bequeathing all my share of the
-Park estate to him. I confess it cost me a pang to do this; I confess
-freely that, to part the lands, and to leave it away from Milly, and to
-think it was Sarah and not me who had provided for that dear child, went
-to my heart; but I would rather have died than refused justice to my
-sister’s son.</p>
-
-<p>Luigi came round to my side and took my two hands and kissed them. I was
-so wicked as to dislike it just at that moment, and to think it was one
-of his Italian ways. But he stood before me with tears in his eyes, and
-that look of the Mortimers, which nobody could mistake. “And your love?”
-he said. I could not stand out against that; I broke down entirely, and
-cried and sobbed like a child. Dreadful days these had been! Now I was
-overpowered, and could do no more. When I rose to go upstairs Luigi drew
-my arm into his, and took care of me like a son. He begged me to go to
-Milly, and not to be by myself; and I cannot tell how, but his voice had
-so great an effect upon me, that I did just as he said. Oh, dear! dear!
-to think what Sarah had cast away from her. There was she, lying alone,
-rejecting every creature in the world but Carson,&mdash;and here was the love
-that belonged to her, coming to <i>me</i>.</p>
-
-<p>I did not see Mr. Cresswell again before he went away. Sara came up a
-little after, in despair, saying he had ordered her to return with him,
-and came and hugged me silently, and cried, with a frightened look upon
-her pale little face. “I would say farewell to godmamma Sarah, if I
-dared,” cried the poor child; but I dared not let her do it. She went
-away, casting longing looks back at us like a creature condemned. It was
-natural that she should feel leaving us in so much trouble, and going
-back to her own quiet, motionless home. It was not Sara’s fault she had
-not been watching with us every moment of that terrible night; but, for
-all that, it was very right of Mr. Cresswell to take her away.</p>
-
-<p>And then some days of watching followed. Once Sarah admitted me into her
-room, and she saw the doctor without<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_363" id="page_363"></a>{363}</span> making any objection&mdash;she would
-have lived still, had that been possible&mdash;but when I begged her to see
-Luigi, just to say one word to him, to let him believe she recognised
-him as her son, her looks grew so terrible that I dared not say more. He
-went himself, out of my knowledge, to her door, and begged and prayed to
-be let in; but Carson came out to him, pallid with terror, and begged
-him to go away, or he would kill Miss Mortimer&mdash;for they kept up that
-farce of a name to the end. Luigi came to me heart-broken; it was,
-indeed, a terrible position for the young man. He reproached himself for
-seeking his natural rights, and bringing on all this misery. He said, “I
-have killed my mother!” It was all I could do to comfort him. God
-forgive her! it was not he who was to blame.</p>
-
-<p>This was how my sister Sarah died. I try never to think of it. I try not
-to remember that dreadful time. Thank heaven! to judge others is not our
-part in this life. There is very little comfort to be had out of it,
-anyhow; living and dying it was a sad existence for a woman. If she had
-not much love in her lifetime, I think there are few graves over which
-have been shed more bitter tears. On her tombstone she is called
-Countess Sermoneta; the first time she has ever borne that ill-fated
-name.</p>
-
-<p>It was not difficult to prove the whole history. By degrees Mr.
-Cresswell gathered enough from other sources to convince him of Luigi’s
-story; and after that it did not take much persuasion to make him
-consent to give my nephew his daughter. It was not the match he might
-have made, of course. The Sermonetas are a very old family in their own
-country; not much wonder the Count would not consent to give up his own
-name, and take the name of the haughty Englishman that despised him.
-Luigi would have changed his, had his mother bidden him, and for his
-father’s sake; but the young man was deeply grateful to me for not
-making any conditions. For my part, I did not want him to be the
-representative of the Mortimers. I may safely say I came to love him
-like a child of my own at last. But after all he was a foreigner still,
-and even when I came to be fond of him, I never could see him without
-pain mixing with the pleasure. It was Harry, little Harry, my sweet
-English baby, Milly’s beautiful boy, that was to be the Mortimers’ heir.</p>
-
-<p>And Sara will not be married till Harry Langham comes home. Perhaps it
-is not justice to Sara to say my nephew might have done better; but,
-after all, you know, her father is<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_364" id="page_364"></a>{364}</span> only an attorney, our family
-attorney. Her hair is grown now, and she is a little older, and very
-pretty; very pretty indeed the little creature is. She is not in the
-least like what my sister Sarah used to be; she can never be such a
-beauty as her poor godmamma was. If it were nothing else, she is too
-little for <i>beauty</i>; but I must say she is extremely pretty. I don’t
-know if there is such another in all Cheshire. My Milly is different. Of
-the two <i>I</i> should rather have her; but then I am not a young man.</p>
-
-<p>And the war is over, and the dear child is nervously happy, and counting
-the days. About another week or so and Harry Langham will be at home.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_365" id="page_365"></a>{365}</span></p>
-
-<h2><a name="POSTSCRIPT" id="POSTSCRIPT"></a>POSTSCRIPT.<br /><br />
-BY MRS. LANGHAM.</h2>
-
-<p>Harry is home, safe and well. He is to get the Medjidie and the French
-ribbon of honour; but you can see that in the papers. It is something
-else I have to tell.</p>
-
-<p>It is just a week before Sara’s marriage day, and Lizzie comes to me
-looking very foolish. I had thought she had recovered of her
-awkwardness. There she stands, twisting her feet again, rolling up her
-arms in her white apron, holding her head to one side in a paroxysm of
-her old use and wont. Really, if she were not standing in such a
-preposterous attitude, Lizzie would look rather pretty; she has such a
-nice complexion, and her red-brown hair pleases me&mdash;it is not too red.
-It suits those features which are not at all regular, but only very
-pleasant and bright, with health, and youth, and a good heart. But now
-there is something dreadful choking Lizzie, which must be got out.</p>
-
-<p>“Mem, the Captain’s come hame,” came at last in a burst.</p>
-
-<p>He was brevet Major now, and most people about the Park called him
-Colonel; and he was in the next room, no further off, so I rather stared
-at Lizzie’s piece of news.</p>
-
-<p>“And wee Mr. Harry, he’s a grand little gentleman,” said Lizzie; “and
-a’s weel, and there’s no cloud in a’ the sky as big as the dear bairn’s
-little finger, let abee a man’s hand.”</p>
-
-<p>This solemn enumeration of my joys alarmed me considerably. “Do you know
-of anything that has happened, Lizzie?” I cried with a momentary return
-of my old fears.</p>
-
-<p>“Naething’s gaun to happen,” said Lizzie, “I’m meaning no to you;
-naething but the blessing of God that kens a’. It was just to say&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here Lizzie came to a dead stop, and cried, the unfailing resource in
-all difficulties. A perception of the truth flashed upon me as I looked
-at her.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_366" id="page_366"></a>{366}</span></p>
-
-<p>“Do you mean to say&mdash;&mdash;?” cried I, but got no further in my extreme
-amaze.</p>
-
-<p>“Eh, it’s no me!” cried Lizzie. “But eh, Menico says&mdash;&mdash;”</p>
-
-<p>Here she stopped again, gave me a frightened look, made an attempt to go
-on&mdash;and finally, startled by a sound in the next room, where Harry was,
-dropped the apron she had unconsciously pulled off, on the floor, and
-fairly ran away.</p>
-
-<p>Leaving me thunderstruck, and by no means pleased. I knew if I went and
-told Harry he would burst into fits of laughter, and there would be an
-end to all serious consideration of the subject. To lose Lizzie all at
-once like this, to let the creature go and marry a foreigner! There was
-something quite unbearable in the thought; what was I to do? A
-foreigner, and a Catholic, too, and a man twice as old as herself; the
-girl was mad! The more I thought of it the more distressed I grew. At
-last I went to seek Aunt Milly, who was the only practicable counsellor.
-She was in the garden, and I went to seek her there. It was July, and
-sultry weather. In the hall, now better occupied than it used to be,
-stood Domenico, in the white suit, vast and spotless, with which he
-always distinguished himself in summer weather, and which always put me
-in mind of that dreadful day when the Count Sermoneta first came, in his
-own name, to the Park. Domenico started forward, noiseless and smiling,
-to open the door. The action brought before me in a minute our little
-Chester lodgings, our troubled happy days, our parting, and all the
-simple kindness this honest fellow had done us. His face beamed through
-all my recollections of that time, always thus starting forward with the
-courtesy of the heart. My heart warmed to him in spite of all I had been
-cogitating against him. Perhaps he divined what it was occupied my
-thoughts&mdash;he followed me out at the door.</p>
-
-<p>“It pleases to the Signora give me the Leezee?” said Domenico, with an
-insinuating look. “No? no? But what to have done? The Signora displeases
-herself of me? Wherefore? Because? I not know.”</p>
-
-<p>“I am not displeased,” said I. “You are a very good fellow, Domenico,
-and have always been very kind. But she is a child; she is not
-seventeen. What would you do with her in a strange country? She is too
-young for you.”</p>
-
-<p>“The Leezee contents herself,” said Domenico, with a broad smile opening
-out his black beard. “If it pleases to the Signora, I bring her back
-other times; I take the care of her;<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_367" id="page_367"></a>{367}</span> I make everything please to her.
-The Signora not wills to say no?”</p>
-
-<p>And of course I did not say no; I had no right to say anything of the
-sort. And Lizzie actually was not afraid to marry that mountain of a
-man. She went away with him, looking dreadfully ashamed, and taking the
-most heartrending farewell of little Harry and me, Domenico looking on
-with great but smiling sympathy all the while, and not at all resenting
-her tears. But the Captain had come home, and little Harry had attained
-the independence of two and a half years. Lizzie felt she had discharged
-her trust, and was no longer imperatively needed to take care of me. I
-kissed her when she went away, as if she had been a sister of my own,
-and I confess was not ashamed to add a tear to the floods that poured
-from her brown eyes; but I am obliged to avow that it is not within the
-range of my powers to put correctly on paper all the long rolling
-syllables of her new name.</p>
-
-<p class="c">THE END.</p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_368" id="page_368"></a>{368}</span>&nbsp; </p>
-
-<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="page_369" id="page_369"></a>{369}</span>&nbsp; </p>
-
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-<tr valign="top">
-<td> &nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ANTHONY TROLLOPE.</i><br />
-<span class="sans">
- 1 Doctor Thorne.<br />
- 2 Macdermots of Ballycloran.<br />
- 3 Rachel Ray.<br />
- 4 The Kellys and the O’Kellys.<br />
- 5 Tales of all Countries.<br />
- 6 Castle Richmond.<br />
- 7 The Bertrams.<br />
- 8 Miss Mackenzie.<br />
- 9 The Belton Estate.<br />
- 10 Lotta Schmidt.<br />
- 11 An Editor’s Tales.<br />
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- 13 La Vendee.<br />
- 14 Lady Anna.<br />
- 15 Vicar of Bullhampton.</span></td>
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- 20 Dr. Wortle’s School.<br />
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- 22 Orley Farm.<br />
- 24 Phineas Finn.<br />
- 25 He Knew He was Right.<br />
- 26 Eustace Diamonds.<br />
- 27 Phineas Redux.<br />
- 28 The Prime Minister.<br />
- 29 The Duke’s Children.<br />
- 30 Ayala’s Angel.<br />
- 23 Can You Forgive Her?<br /> (2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>; cloth gilt, 3<i>s.</i>)</span></td></tr>
-</table>
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-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By CHARLES LEVER.</i><br />
-
- 39 Jack Hinton.<br />
- 40 Harry Lorrequer.<br />
- 41 The O’Donoghue.<br />
- 42 The Fortunes of Glencore.<br />
- 43 One of Them.<br />
- 44 Sir Jasper Carew.<br />
- 45 A Day’s Ride: a Life’s Romance<br />
- 46 Maurice Tiernay.<br />
- 47 Barrington.<br />
- 48 Luttrell of Arran<br />.
- 49 A Rent in a Cloud.<br />
- 50 Sir Brook Fossbrooke.<br />
- 51 The Bramleighs.<br />
- 52 Tony Butler.<br />
- 53 That Boy of Norcott’s.<br />
- 54 Lord Kilgobbin.<br />
- 55 Cornelius O’Dowd.<br />
- 56 Nuts and Nutcrackers.<br />
- 57 Tales of the Trains.<br />
- 58 Paul Goslett’s Confessions.<br />
- 59 Charles O’Malley.<br />
- 60 The Daltons.<br />
- 61 Knight of Gwynne.<br />
- 62 Dodd Family Abroad.<br />
- 63 Tom Burke.<br />
- 65 Roland Cashel.<br />
- 66 Martins of Cro’ Martin.<br />
- 64 Davenport Dunn. <br />(2<i>s.</i> 6<i>d.</i>; cloth gilt, 3<i>s.</i>)
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HARRISON AINSWORTH.</i><br />
-<br />
- 73 Cardinal Pole.<br />
- 74 Constable of the Tower.<br />
- 75 Leaguer of Lathom.<br />
- 76 Spanish Match.<br />
- 77 Constable de Bourbon.<br />
- 78 Old Court.<br />
- 79 Myddleton Pomfret.<br />
- 80 Hilary St. Ives.</td>
-
-<td class="bl"> 81 Lord Mayor of London.<br />
- 82 John Law.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HENRY KINGSLEY.</i><br />
-
-101 Mdlle. Mathilde.<br />
-102 Hetty.<br />
-103 Geoffry Hamlyn.<br />
-104 Ravenshoe.<br />
-105 Hillyars and Burtons.<br />
-106 Silcote of Silcotes.<br />
-107 Leighton Court.<br />
-108 Austin Elliot.<br />
-109 Reginald Hetherege.<br />
-110 The Harveys.<br />
-111 Stretton.<br />
-112 Old Margaret.<br />
-113 Valentin.<br />
-114 Hornby Mills.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By WHYTE-MELVILLE.</i><br />
-
-115 Tilbury Nogo.<br />
-116 Uncle John.<br />
-117 The White Rose.<br />
-118 Cerise.<br />
-119 Brookes of Bridlemere.<br />
-120 “Bones and I.”<br />
-121 “M. or N.”<br />
-122 Contraband.<br />
-123 Market Harborough.<br />
-124 Sarchedon.<br />
-125 Satanella.<br />
-126 Katerfelto.<br />
-127 Sister Louise.<br />
-128 Rosine.<br />
-129 Roy’s Wife.<br />
-130 Black, but Comely.<br />
-131 Riding Recollections.<br /><br />
-
-<i>Uniform with above.</i><br />
-
-132 Songs and Verses.<br />
-133 The True Cross.</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. OLIPHANT.</i><br />
-
-146 May.<br />
-147 For Love and Life.<br />
-148 Last of the Mortimers.<br />
-149 Squire Arden.<br />
-150 Ombra.<br />
-151 Madonna Mary.<br />
-152 Days of my Life.<br />
-153 Harry Muir.<br />
-154 Heart and Cross.<br />
-155 Magdalene Hepburn.<br />
-156 House on the Moor.<br />
-157 Lilliesleaf.<br />
-158 Lucy Crofton.<br />
-159 At His Gates.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HAWLEY SMART.</i><br />
-
-165 Broken Bonds.<br />
-166 Two Kisses.<br />
-167 False Cards.<br />
-168 Courtship.<br />
-169 Bound to Win.<br />
-170 Cecile.<br />
-171 Race for a Wife.<br />
-172 Play or Pay.<br />
-173 Sunshine and Snow.<br />
-174 Belles and Ringers.<br />
-175 Social Sinners.<br />
-176 The Great Tontine.<br />
-177 At Fault.<br />
-178 Hard Lines.<br />
-179 Salvage.<br />
-180 From Post to Finish.<br />
-181 Tie and Trick.<br />
-182 A False Start.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JANE AUSTEN.</i><br />
-
-187 Sense and Sensibility.<br />
-188 Emma.<br />
-189 Mansfield Park.<br />
-190 Northanger Abbey.<br />
-191 Pride and Prejudice.<br />
-</td><td class="bl">
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By VICTOR HUGO.</i><br />
-
-195 Fantine (Les Miserables).<br />
-196 Cosette and Marius (Les Miserables).<br />
-197 Jean Valjean (Miserables).<br />
-198 By the King’s Command.<br />
-199 Hunchback of Notre Dame.<br />
-200 Under Sentence of Death.<br />
-201 Workers of the Sea.<br />
-202 Ninety-Three.<br />
-202<span class="smcap">A</span> History of a Crime.<br />
-202<span class="smcap">B</span> The Outlaw of Iceland.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By CHARLES DICKENS.</i><br />
-
-203 Pickwick Papers. Illust.<br />
-204 Nicholas Nickleby. Illust.<br />
-206 The Old Curiosity Shop.<br />
-207 Barnaby Rudge.<br />
-208 Martin Chuzzlewit.<br />
-228 The Mudfog Society, &amp;c.<br />
-229 Picnic Papers.<br /> (Edited by <span class="smcap">C. Dickens</span>.)<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Sir WALTER SCOTT.</i><br />
-
-230 Waverley.<br />
-231 Kenilworth.<br />
-232 Ivanhoe.<br />
-233 The Antiquary.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By LYTTON BULWER.</i><br />
-<br />
-264 Paul Clifford.<br />
-265 Last Days of Pompeii.<br />
-266 Eugene Aram.<br />
-267 Pelham.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Captain MARRYAT.</i><br />
-
-298 Midshipman Easy.<br />
-299 Japhet in Search of a Father.<br />
-300 Jacob Faithful.<br />
-301 Peter Simple.<br />
-302 The King’s Own.<br />
-303 Frank Mildmay.<br />
-304 Pacha of many Tales.<br />
-305 Rattlin the Reefer.</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
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-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_372" id="page_372"></a>{372}</span><br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By MAX ADELER.</i><br />
-
-322 Out of the Hurly Burly. With 400 Illustrations.<br />
-323 Elbow Room. Illustrated.<br />
-324 Random Shots. Illustrated.<br />
-325 An Old Fogey. Illustrated.<br />
-326 A Desperate Adventure.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By C. C. CLARKE.</i><br />
-
-332 Charlie Thornhill.<br />
-333 Flying Scud.<br />
-334 Crumbs from a Sportsman’s Table.<br />
-335 Which is the Winner?<br />
-336 Lord Falconberg’s Heir.<br />
-337 The Beauclercs.<br />
-338 A Box for the Season.<br />
-339 Chips from an Old Block.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ANNIE THOMAS.</i><br />
-
-343 Theo Leigh.<br />
-344 Dennis Donne.<br />
-345 Called to Account.<br />
-346 A Passion in Tatters.<br />
-347 He Cometh Not, She Said.<br />
-348 No Alternative.<br />
-349 A Narrow Escape.<br />
-350 Blotted Out.<br />
-351 A Laggard in Love.<br />
-352 High Stakes.<br />
-353 Best for Her.<br />
-354 False Colours.<br />
-355 Sir Victor’s Choice.<br />
-356 Dower House.<br />
-357 Cross of Honour.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By E. P. ROE.</i><br />
-
-370 Opening a Chestnut Burr.<br />
-371 A Face Illumined.<br />
-372 Barriers Burned Away.<br />
-373 What Can She Do?<br />
-374 A Day of Fate.<br />
-375 Without a Home.</td><td class="bl">
-376 A Knight of the 19th Century.<br />
-377 Near to Nature’s Heart.<br />
-378 From Jest to Earnest.<br />
-379 His Sombre Rivals.<br />
-380 An Original Belle.<br />
-381 He Fell in Love with his Wife.<br />
-382 The Earth Trembled.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss E. MARLITT.</i><br />
-
-387 An Old Maid’s Secret.<br />
-388 Gold Elsie.<br />
-389 The Second Wife.<br />
-390 The Little Moorland Princess.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By AMELIA B. EDWARDS.</i><br />
-
-398 In the Days of My Youth.<br />
-399 Miss Carew.<br />
-400 Debenham’s Vow.<br />
-401 Monsieur Maurice.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JAMES GRANT.</i><br />
-
-428 Secret Dispatch.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By G. P. R. JAMES.</i><br />
-
-435 Bernard Marsh.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.</i><br />
-
-440 Elsie Venner.<br />
-441 Autocrat of the Breakfast Table.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By SAMUEL LOVER.</i><br />
-
-446 He Would be a Gentleman.<br />
-447 Irish Stories and Legends.<br />
-448 Handy Andy.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. MARSH.</i><br />
-
-451 Father Darcy.<br />
-452 Time, the Avenger.<br />
-453 Emilia Wyndham.<br />
-454 Mount Sorrel.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ELEANOR F. TROLLOPE.</i><br />
-
-459 Aunt Margaret.<br />
-460 A Charming Fellow.<br />
-461 Veronica.<br />
-462 Sacristan’s Household.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_373" id="page_373"></a>{373}</span><br />
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
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-
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-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ALBERT SMITH.</i><br />
-
-465 Christopher Tadpole. Illus.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By BRET HARTE.</i><br />
-<br />
-468 Complete Tales.<br />
-469 The Heathen Chinee.<br />
-470 Wan Lee, the Pagan, &amp;c.<br />
-471 Deadwood Mystery, and <span class="smcap">Mark Twain’s</span> Nightmare. Illus.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Capt. MAYNE REID.</i><br />
-
-474 The Mountain Marriage.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. LYNN LINTON.</i><br />
-
-478 Lizzie Lorton.<br />
-479 The Mad Willoughbys.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By IVAN TURGENIEFF.</i><br />
-
-483 Virgin Soil.<br />
-484 Smoke.<br />
-485 Fathers and Sons.<br />
-486 Dimitri Roudine.<br />
-487 Liza; or, A Noble Nest.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE.</i><br />
-
-491 Blithedale Romance.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. CASHEL HOEY.</i><br />
-
-492 No Sign.<br />
-493 Blossoming of an Aloe.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. G. M. CRAIK.</i><br />
-
-494 Riverston.<br />
-495 Lost and Won.<br />
-496 Winifred’s Wooing.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By T. A. TROLLOPE.</i><br />
-
-500 Marietta.<br />
-501 Beppo, the Conscript.<br />
-502 Lindisfarne Chase.<br />
-503 Giulio Malatesta.<br />
-504 La Beata.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By MARK TWAIN.</i><br />
-
-509 The Innocents Abroad.<br />
-510 American Drolleries.<br />
-511 Funny Stories; with <span class="smcap">Holmes’</span><br /> Humorous Poems.<br />
-</td><td class="bl">
-512 The Mississippi Pilot;<br />
-with <span class="smcap">Bret Harte’s</span><br /> “Two Men of Sandy Bar.”<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By W. H. MAXWELL.</i><br />
-
-516 Hector O’Halloran. Illust.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HENRY JAMES, Jun.</i><br />
-
-519 The American.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By the Author of “WOMAN’S DEVOTION.”</i><br />
-
-524 Mr. and Mrs. Asheton.<br />
-525 Three Wives.<br />
-526 Ladies of Lovel Leigh.<br />
-527 Queen of the County.<br />
-528 Book of Heroines.<br />
-529 Lords and Ladies.<br />
-530 Woman’s Devotion.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By THEODORE HOOK.</i><br />
-
-536 Jack Brag.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By M. W. SAVAGE.</i><br />
-
-541 My Uncle, the Curate.<br />
-542 Bachelor of the Albany.<br />
-543 Falcon Family.<br />
-544 Reuben Medlicott.<br />
-545 Clover Cottage.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By M. BETHAM EDWARDS.</i><br />
-
-551 White House by the Sea.<br />
-552 John and I.<br />
-553 Lisabee’s Love Story.<br />
-554 Wild Flower of Ravensworth.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By J. FENIMORE COOPER.</i><br />
-
-555 Last of the Mohicans.<br />
-556 The Deerslayer.<br />
-557 The Spy.<br />
-558 The Prairie.<br />
-559 Mark’s Reef.<br />
-560 The Sea Lions.<br />
-<br />
-<i>BY J. G. HOLLAND.</i><br />
-
-565 Arthur Bonnicastle.<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_374" id="page_374"></a>{374}</span><br />
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss JEWSBURY.</i><br />
-
-568 The Half-Sisters.<br />
-569 Sorrows of Gentility.<br />
-570 Marian Withers.<br />
-571 Constance Herbert.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. GREY.</i><br />
-
-575 Mary Seaham.<br />
-576 The Gambler’s Wife.<br />
-577 The Daughter.<br />
-578 The Opera Singer’s Wife.<br />
-579 Old Dower House.<br />
-580 The Young Husband.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JOHN MILLS.</i><br />
-
-582 Belle of the Village.<br />
-583 The Briefless Barrister.<br />
-584 Stable Secrets, and The Life of a Racehorse. Illustrated.<br />
-585 Flyers of the Hunt.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By the Author of<br />
-“MY FIRST SEASON.”</i><br />
-
-588 Charles Auchester.<br />
-589 Counterparts.<br />
-590 My First Season.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By “SCRUTATOR.”</i><br />
-
-595 Master of the Hounds.<br />
-596 Country Gentleman.<br />
-597 Squire of Beechwood.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. W. M. L. JAY.</i><br />
-
-602 Shiloh.<br />
-603 Holden with the Cords.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss R. M. KETTLE.</i><br />
-
-606 Smugglers and Foresters.<br />
-607 Mistress of Langdale Hall.<br />
-608 Hillsden on the Moors.<br />
-609 Under the Grand Old Hills.<br />
-610 Fabian’s Tower.<br /></td>
-<td class="bl">
-611 The Wreckers.<br />
-612 My Home in the Shires.<br />
-613 The Sea and the Moor.<br />
-614 La Belle Marie.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By MICHAEL SCOTT.</i><br />
-
-620 Tom Cringle’s Log.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JEAN MIDDLEMASS.</i><br />
-
-625 Wild Georgie.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Author of “OLIVE VARCOE.”</i><br />
-
-629 Forgotten Lives.<br />
-630 The Kiddle-a-Wink.<br />
-631 Love’s Bitterness.<br />
-632 In the House of a Friend.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By GEORGE MEREDITH.</i><br />
-
-635 Tragic Comedians.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Capt. ARMSTRONG.</i><br />
-
-636 The Young Commander.<br />
-637 The War-Hawk.<br />
-638 Queen of the Seas.<br />
-639 The Sailor Hero.<br />
-640 Cruise of the “Daring.”<br />
-641 The Sunny South.<br />
-642 Medora.<br />
-643 Two Midshipmen.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss PARDOE.</i><br />
-
-644 The Jealous Wife.<br />
-645 Rival Beauties.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By W. STEPHENS HAYWARD.</i><br />
-
-650 Eulalie.<br />
-651 The Diamond Cross.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ANNA H. DRURY.</i><br />
-654 Deep Waters.<br />
-655 Misrepresentation.<br />
-656 The Brothers.
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_375" id="page_375"></a>{375}</span>
-
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By DOUGLAS JERROLD.</i><br />
-660 The Brownrigg Papers.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Lady EDEN.</i><br />
-661 Dumbleton Common.<br />
-662 Semi-Attached Couple.<br />
-663 Semi-Detached House.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss C. J. HAMILTON.</i><br />
-664 Marriage Bonds.<br />
-665 The Flynns of Flynnville.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HOLME LEE.</i><br />
-673 Hawksview.<br />
-674 Gilbert Messenger.<br />
-675 Thorney Hall.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HENRY COCKTON.</i><br />
-676 Valentine Vox. Illustrated.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By KATHARINE KING.</i><br />
-677 Lost for Gold.<br />
-678 Queen of the Regiment.<br />
-679 Off the Roll.<br />
-680 Our Detachment.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By S. W. FULLOM.</i><br />
-<br />
-683 Man of the World.<br />
-684 King and Countess.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By the Author of “CASTE,” &amp;c.</i><br />
-687 Colonel Dacre.<br />
-688 My Son’s Wife.<br />
-689 Entanglements.<br />
-690 Mr. Arle.<br />
-691 Bruna’s Revenge.<br />
-692 Pearl.<br />
-693 Caste.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Rev. R. COBBOLD.</i><br />
-696 Margaret Catchpole.<br />
-697 The Suffolk Gipsy.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. PARSONS.</i><br />
-698 Beautiful Edith.<br />
-699 Sun and Shade.<br /></td>
-<td class="bl">
-700 Ursula’s Love Story.<br />
-<br />
-<i>BY ARTEMUS WARD.</i><br />
-703 His Book; and Travels among the Mormons.<br />
-704 Letters to Punch;<br />
- and <span class="smcap">Mark Twain’s</span><br />
- Practical Jokes.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ANNA C. STEELE.</i><br />
-705 Condoned.<br />
-706 Gardenhurst.<br />
-707 Broken Toys.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. WHITNEY.</i><br />
-710 Odd or Even?<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By EMILIE CARLEN.</i><br />
-711 Twelve Months of Matrimony.<br />
-712 The Brilliant Marriage.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By WILLIAM CARLETON.</i><br />
-715 Squanders of Castle Squander.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By W. S. MAYO.</i><br />
-720 Never Again.<br />
-721 The Berber.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. FORRESTER.</i><br />
-722 Olympus to Hades.<br />
-723 Fair Women.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By AUGUSTUS MAYHEW.</i><br />
-724 Faces for Fortunes.<br />
-724<span class="smcap">A</span> Paved with Gold.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By MARK LEMON.</i><br />
-725 Leyton Hall.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss BURNEY.</i><br />
-726 Evelina.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HONORE DE BALZAC.</i><br />
-728 Unrequited Affection.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JANE PORTER.</i><br />
-732 The Scottish Chiefs.
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_376" id="page_376"></a>{376}</span>
-
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HANS C. ANDERSEN.</i><br />
-734 The Improvisatore.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By KATHARINE MACQUOID.</i><br />
-735 A Bad Beginning.<br />
-736 Wild as a Hawk.<br />
-737 Forgotten by the World.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By A. LAMARTINE.</i><br />
-741 Genevieve, and The Stonemason.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By GUSTAV FREYTAG.</i><br />
-744 Debit and Credit.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Author of “ST. AUBYN OF ST. AUBYN’S.”</i><br />
-745 Charlie Nugent.<br />
-746 St. Aubyn of St. Aubyn’s.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By “WATERS.”</i><br />
-747 The Heir at Law.<br />
-748 Romance of the Seas.<br />
-748<span class="smcap">A</span> Privateer Captain.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By EDGAR ALLAN POE.</i><br />
-749 Tales of Mystery, &amp;c.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HENRY J. BYRON.</i><br />
-750 Paid in Full.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By MARIA EDGEWORTH.</i><br />
-752 Helen.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By THOMAS MILLER.</i><br />
-754 Royston Gower.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. S. C. HALL.</i><br />
-756 The Whiteboy.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Lady CHATTERTON.</i><br />
-757 The Lost Bride.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By WILLIAM GILBERT.</i><br />
-758 Dr. Austin’s Guests.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By THOMAS PEACOCK.</i><br />
-759 Melincourt.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By BAYLE ST. JOHN.</i><br />
-761 Maretimo.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By C. GOLDSCHMIDT.</i><br />
-762 Jacob Bendixen.<br /></td>
-
-<td class="bl">
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Lady SCOTT.</i><br />
-
-763 The Only Child.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Bros. MAYHEW.</i><br />
-765 The Image of his Father.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By E. MACKENZIE.</i><br />
-768 Highland Lassies.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By S. W. R.</i><br />
-769 Rose Douglas.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By WAT BRADWOOD.</i><br />
-770 O. V. H.<br />
-770<span class="smcap">A</span> Ensemble.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ALICE PERRY.</i><br />
-771 Esther’s Sacrifice.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By A. MANNING.</i><br />
-772 Ladies of Bever Hollow.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JULIA KAVANAGH.</i><br />
-773 Madeleine.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Author of “GUY LIVINGSTONE.”</i><br />
-774 Hagarene.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. HOUSTON.</i><br />
-777 Lilian’s Penance.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Lady THYNNE.</i><br />
-778 Off the Line.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ALICE KING.</i><br />
-779 Queen of Herself.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By J. MASTERMAN.</i><br />
-780 A Fatal Error.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By E. METEYARD.</i><br />
-781 Mainstone’s Housekeeper.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. RANDOLPH.</i><br />
-782 Wild Hyacinth.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Baroness DE BURY.</i><br />
-783 All for Greed.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Earl DESART.</i><br />
-785 Kelverdale.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By MARK HOPE.</i><br />
-786 Dark and Light Stories.
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_377" id="page_377"></a>{377}</span>
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss STEVENS.</i><br />
-789 Zana, the Gipsy.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By SYLVESTER JUDD.</i><br />
-790 Margaret.<br />
-<br />
-<i>BY A. DE VIGNY.</i><br />
-791 The Conspirators.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By G. R. GLEIG.</i><br />
-792 Chelsea Pensioners.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By A. DE FONBLANQUE.</i><br />
-793 A Lease for Lives.<br />
-<br />
-<i>Ed. by Sir E. WRAXALL.</i><br />
-794 The Backwoodsman.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Miss LEVIEN.</i><br />
-795 Almost a Quixote.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By E. JUNCKER.</i><br />
-797 Margaret’s Ordeal.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By THORPE TALBOT.</i><br />
-798 Philiberta.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By SOPHIE MAY.</i><br />
-799 Our Helen.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JAMES GREENWOOD.</i><br />
-800 Little Ragamuffins.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By WM. ADAMSON.</i><br />
-802 Abbot of Aberbrothock.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. GORDON SMYTHIES.</i><br />
-804 Guilty or Not Guilty?<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By PERCY B. ST. JOHN.</i><br />
-805 Miranda.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Countess DE LA MOTTE.</i><br />
-806 The Diamond Necklace.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Captain FLACK.</i><br />
-807 Castaways of the Prairie.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By “WANDERER.”</i><br />
-808 Hunt-Room Stories and Yachting Yarns. Illustrated.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By W. G. CRAVEN.</i><br />
-809 The Margravine.</td>
-
-<td class="bl">
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By A. WHAMOND.</i><br />
-810 The Conscript’s Revenge.<br />
-811 James Tacket.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. J. K. SPENDER.</i><br />
-814 Godwyn’s Ordeal.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. KENNARD.</i><br />
-818 The Right Sort.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. PIRKIS.</i><br />
-825 Wanted an Heir.<br />
-<br />
-<i>BY A. DE GALLENGA.</i><br />
-826 Jenny Jennett.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By SAMUEL LAING.</i><br />
-828 A Sporting Quixote.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HANNAH LYNCH.</i><br />
-830 Through Troubled Waters.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By BYRON WEBBER.</i><br />
-834 Pigskin and Willow.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By CATHARINE SINCLAIR.</i><br />
-850 Beatrice.<br />
-851 Modern Accomplishments.<br />
-852 Holiday House.<br />
-853 Modern Flirtations.<br />
-854 Mysterious Marriage.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By JULES VERNE.</i><br />
-856 Five Weeks in a Balloon.<br />
-857 English at the North Pole.<br />
-858 Among the Cannibals.<br />
-859 A Journey to the Interior of the Earth.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ERCKMANN-CHATRIAN.</i><br />
-876 The Great Invasion.<br />
-877 Campaign In Kabylia.<br />
-878 Waterloo.<br />
-879 The Man-Wolf.<br />
-880 The Blockade.<br />
-881 The States-General.<br />
-882 Citizen Bonaparte.<br />
-883 Year One of the Republic.<br />
-884 Daniel Rock.
-</td></tr>
-</table>
-<hr />
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<div class="bbox">
-<p class="c">THE SELECT LIBRARY OF FICTION.</p>
-<hr />
-<p class="c">Price 2s. each; or cloth gilt, 2s. 6d.</p>
-
-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-
-<tr valign="top"><td>
-<span class="pagenum"><a name="page_378" id="page_378"></a>{378}</span>
-885 Friend Fritz.<br />
-886 The Conscript.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Mrs. LEITH ADAMS.</i><br />
-900 Aunt Hepsy’s Foundling.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By SAMUEL WARREN.</i><br />
-905 Diary of a late Physician.<br />
-906 Ten Thousand a-Year.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By HAMILTON AIDE.</i><br />
-920 Introduced to Society.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By W. M. THACKERAY.</i><br />
-925 Yellowplush Correspondence, &amp; Fitz-Boodle Papers, &amp;c.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By OSWALD CRAWFURD.</i><br />
-951 Grace Tolmar.<br />
-952 The World we Live In.<br />
-953 A Woman’s Reputation.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By E. WERNER.</i><br />
-960 Riven Bonds.<br />
-961 Sacred Vows.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By F. MARION CRAWFORD.</i><br />
-965 An American Politician.<br />
-966 To Leeward.<br />
-<br />
-<i>BY C. E. CRADDOCK.</i><br />
-971 In the Clouds.<br />
-972 Story of Keedon Bluffs.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Prof. WILSON.</i><br />
-981 Tales of the Border. I.<br />
-982 &nbsp;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; &nbsp; II.<br />
-983 &nbsp;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; &nbsp; III.<br />
-984 &nbsp;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; &nbsp; IV.</td>
-
-<td class="bl">
-
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By GUSTAVE AIMARD.</i><br />
-1001 The Tiger Slayer.<br />
-1002 Last of the Incas.<br />
-1003 Pirates of the Prairie.<br />
-1004 The Prairie Flower.<br />
-1005 The Trapper’s Daughter.<br />
-1006 The White Scalper.<br />
-1007 The Indian Chief.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By Lord BEACONSFIELD.</i><br />
-1021 Vivian Grey.<br />
-1022 Coningsby.<br />
-1023 Henrietta Temple.<br />
-1024 Venetia.<br />
-1025 Sybil.<br />
-1026 Alroy, and Contarini Fleming.<br />
-1027 The Young Duke.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By EMILE GABORIAU.</i><br />
-1031 In Deadly Peril.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ELIOT WARBURTON.</i><br />
-1051 The Crescent and Cross.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>By ALEXANDER DUMAS.</i><br />
-1060 Count of Monte Cristo.<br />
-<br />
-&nbsp; &nbsp; <i>ANONYMOUS.</i><br />
-767 Belial.<br />
-776 First in the Field.<br />
-788 Leah, the Jewish Maiden.<br />
-796 Janetta, and Blythe Herndon.<br />
-803 Life in a Prison.<br />
-813 Tales of Tramps. Illust.<br />
-1102 Remarkable Impostors and Celebrated Claimants.</td></tr>
-</table>
-
-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO.’S</p>
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-<table class="smltb" border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" summary="">
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">1</td><td>From Post to Finish. Hawley Smart.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">2</td><td>A False Start. Hawley Smart.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">3</td><td>The Right Sort. Mrs. E. Kennard.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">4</td><td>O. V. H.; or, How Mr. Blake Became Master of Fox-Hounds. Wat Bradwood.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">5</td><td>The Flyers of the Hunt. John Mills.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">6</td><td>Tilbury Nogo. J. G. Whyte-Melville.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">7</td><td>Hunt-Room Stories. “Wanderer.”</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">8</td><td>The Flying Scud. C. C. Clarke.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">9</td><td>A Sporting Quixote. Samuel Laing.</td></tr>
-<tr><td class="rt" valign="top">10</td><td> Stable Secrets, and The Life of a Racehorse. John Mills.</td></tr>
-</table>
-
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-<p class="c">WARD, LOCK &amp; CO., London, Melbourne, and New York.</p>
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