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diff --git a/old/51258.txt b/old/51258.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 0cc7865..0000000 --- a/old/51258.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,711 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Bad Day for Vermin, by Keith Laumer - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license - - -Title: A Bad Day for Vermin - -Author: Keith Laumer - -Release Date: February 21, 2016 [EBook #51258] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A BAD DAY FOR VERMIN *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - A BAD DAY FOR VERMIN - - BY KEITH LAUMER - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Science Fiction February 1964. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - They came In friendship and love. - They couldn't help the way they looked! - - -Judge Carter Gates of the Third Circuit Court finished his chicken -salad on whole wheat, thoughtfully crumpled the waxed paper bag and -turned to drop it in the waste basket behind his chair--and sat -transfixed. - -Through his second-floor office window, he saw a forty-foot -flower-petal shape of pale turquoise settling gently between the -well-tended petunia beds on the courthouse lawn. On the upper, or stem -end of the vessel, a translucent pink panel popped up and a slender, -graceful form not unlike a large violet caterpillar undulated into -view. - -Judge Gates whirled to the telephone. Half an hour later, he put it to -the officials gathered with him in a tight group on the lawn. - -"Boys, this thing is intelligent; any fool can see that. It's putting -together what my boy assures me is some kind of talking machine, and -any minute now it's going to start communicating. It's been twenty -minutes since I notified Washington on this thing. It won't be long -before somebody back there decides this is top secret and slaps a -freeze on us here that will make the Manhattan Project look like a -publicity campaign. Now, I say this is the biggest thing that ever -happened to Plum County--but if we don't aim to be put right out of the -picture, we'd better move fast." - -"What you got in mind, Jedge?" - -"I propose we hold an open hearing right here in the courthouse, -the minute that thing gets its gear to working. We'll put it on the -air--Tom Clembers from the radio station's already stringing wires, -I see. Too bad we've got no TV equipment, but Jody Hurd has a movie -camera. We'll put Willow Grove on the map bigger'n Cape Canaveral ever -was." - -"We're with you on that, Carter!" - -Ten minutes after the melodious voice of the Fianna's translator had -requested escort to the village headman, the visitor was looking over -the crowded courtroom with an expression reminiscent of a St. Bernard -puppy hoping for a romp. The rustle of feet and throat-clearing -subsided and the speaker began: - -"People of the Green World, happy the cycle--" - -Heads turned at the clump of feet coming down the side aisle; a -heavy-torsoed man of middle age, bald, wearing a khaki shirt and -trousers and rimless glasses and with a dark leather holster slapping -his hip at each step, cleared the end of the front row of seats, -planted himself, feet apart, yanked a heavy nickel-plated .44 revolver -from the holster, took aim and fired five shots into the body of the -Fianna at a range of ten feet. - -The violet form whipped convulsively, writhed from the bench to the -floor with a sound like a wet fire hose being dropped, uttered a -gasping twitter, and lay still. The gunman turned, dropped the pistol, -threw up his hands, and called: - -"Sheriff Hoskins, I'm puttin' myself in yer pertective custody." - - * * * * * - -There was a moment of stunned silence; then a rush of spectators for -the alien. The sheriff's three-hundred-and-nine-pound bulk bellied -through the shouting mob to take up a stand before the khaki-clad man. - -"I always knew you was a mean one, Cecil Stump," he said, unlimbering -handcuffs, "ever since I seen you makin' up them ground-glass baits for -Joe Potter's dog. But I never thought I'd see you turn to cold-blooded -murder." He waved at the bystanders. "Clear a path through here; I'm -takin' my prisoner over to the jail." - -"Jest a dad-blamed minute, Sheriff." Stump's face was pale, his -glasses were gone and one khaki shoulder strap dangled--but what was -almost a grin twisted one meaty cheek. He hid his hands behind his -back, leaned away from the cuffs. "I don't like that word 'prisoner'. -I ast you fer pertection. And better look out who you go throwin' that -word 'murder' off at, too. I ain't murdered nobody." - -The sheriff blinked, turned to roar, "How's the victim, Doc?" - -A small gray head rose from bending over the limp form of the Fianna. -"Deader'n a mackerel, Sheriff." - -"I guess that's it. Let's go, Cecil." - -"What's the charge?" - -"First degree murder." - -"Who'd I murder?" - -"Why, you killed this here ... this stranger." - -"That ain't no stranger. That's a varmint. Murder's got to do with -killin' humerns, way I understand it. You goin' to tell me that thing's -humern?" - -Ten people shouted at once: - -"--human as I am!" - -"--intelligent being!" - -"--tell me you can simply kill--" - -"--must be some kind of law--" - -The sheriff raised his hands, his jowls drawn down in a scowl. "What -about it, Judge Gates? Any law against Cecil Stump killing the ... -uh...?" - -The judge thrust out his lower lip. "Well, let's see," he began. -"Technically--" - -"Good Lord!" someone blurted. "You mean the laws on murder don't define -what constitutes--I mean, what--" - -"What a humern is?" Stump snorted. "Whatever it says, it sure-bob don't -include no purple worms. That's a varmint, pure and simple. Ain't no -different killin' it than any other critter." - -"Then, by God, we'll get him for malicious damage," a man called. "Or -hunting without a license--out of season!" - -"--carrying concealed weapons!" - -Stump went for his hip pocket, fumbled out a fat, shapeless wallet, -extracted a thumbed rectangle of folded paper, offered it. - -"I'm a licensed exterminator. Got a permit to carry the gun, too. -I ain't broken no law." He grinned openly now. "Jest doin' my job, -Sheriff. And at no charge to the county." - - * * * * * - -A smaller man with bristly red hair flared his nostrils at Stump. -"You blood-thirsty idiot!" He raised a fist and shook it. "We'll be -a national disgrace--worse than Little Rock! Lynching's too good for -you!" - -"Hold on there, Weinstein," the sheriff cut in. "Let's not go gettin' -no lynch talk started." - -"Lynch, is it!" Cecil Stump bellowed, his face suddenly red. "Why, I -done a favor for every man here! Now you listen to me! What is that -thing over there?" He jerked a blunt thumb toward the judicial bench. -"It's some kind of critter from Mars or someplace--you know that as -well as me! And what's it here for? It ain't for the good of the likes -of you and me, I can tell you that. It's them or us. And this time, by -God, we got in the first lick!" - -"Why you ... you ... hate-monger!" - -"Now, hold on right there. I'm as liberal-minded as the next feller. -Hell, I like a nigger--and I can't hardly tell a Jew from a white man. -But when it comes to takin' in a damned purple worm and callin' it -humern--that's where I draw the line." - -Sheriff Hoskins pushed between Stump and the surging front rank of the -crowd. "Stay back there! I want you to disperse, peaceably, and let the -law handle this." - -"I reckon I'll push off now, Sheriff," Stump hitched up his belt. -"I figgered you might have to calm 'em down right at first, but -now they've had a chance to think it over and see I ain't broken -no law, ain't none of these law-abiding folks going to do anything -illegal--like tryin' to get rough with a licensed exterminator just -doin' his job." He stooped, retrieved his gun. - -"Here, I'll take that," Sheriff Hoskins said. "You can consider your -gun license canceled--and your exterminatin' license, too." - -Stump grinned again, handed the revolver over. - -"Sure. I'm cooperative, Sheriff. Anything you say. Send it around to my -place when you're done with it." He pushed his way through the crowd to -the corridor door. - -"The rest of you stay put!" a portly man with a head of bushy white -hair pushed his way through to the bench. "I'm calling an emergency -Town Meeting to order here and now!" - - * * * * * - -He banged the gavel on the scarred bench top, glanced down at the body -of the dead alien, now covered by a flag. - -"Gentlemen, we've got to take fast action. If the wire services get -hold of this before we've gone on record, Willow Grove'll be a blighted -area." - -"Look here, Willard," Judge Gates called, rising. "This--this mob isn't -competent to take legal action." - -"Never mind what's legal, Judge. Sure, this calls for Federal -legislation--maybe a Constitutional amendment--but in the meantime, -we're going to redefine what constitutes a person within the -incorporated limits of Willow Grove!" - -"That's the least we can do," a thin-faced woman snapped, glaring at -Judge Gates. "Do you think we're going to set here and condone this -outrage?" - -"Nonsense!" Gates shouted. "I don't like what happened any better than -you do--but a person--well, a person's got two arms and two legs and--" - -"Shape's got nothing to do with it," the chairman cut in. "Bears walk -on two legs! Dave Zawocky lost his in the war. Monkeys have hands." - -"Any intelligent creature--" the woman started. - -"Nope, that won't do, either; my unfortunate cousin's boy Melvin was -born an imbecile, poor lad. Now, folks, there's no time to waste. We'll -find it very difficult to formulate a satisfactory definition based -on considerations such as these. However, I think we can resolve the -question in terms that will form a basis for future legislation on the -question. It's going to make some big changes in things. Hunters aren't -going to like it--and the meat industry will be affected. But if, as -it appears, we're entering into an era of contact with ... ah ... -creatures from other worlds, we've got to get our house in order." - -"You tell 'em, Senator!" someone yelled. - -"We better leave this for Congress to figger out!" another voice -insisted. - -"We got to do something...." - -The senator held up his hands. "Quiet, everybody. There'll be reporters -here in a matter of minutes. Maybe our ordinance won't hold water. But -it'll start 'em thinking--and it'll make a lots better copy for Willow -Grove than the killing." - -"What you got in mind, Senator?" - -"Just this:" the Senator said solemnly. "A person is ... _any harmless -creature_...." - -Feet shuffled. Someone coughed. - -"What about a man who commits a violent act, then?" Judge Gates -demanded. "What's he, eh?" - -"That's obvious, gentlemen," the senator said flatly. "He's vermin." - - * * * * * - -On the courthouse steps Cecil Stump stood, hands in hip pockets, -talking to a reporter from the big-town paper in Mattoon, surrounded -by a crowd of late-comers who had missed the excitement inside. He -described the accuracy of his five shots, the sound they had made -hitting the big blue snake, and the ludicrous spectacle the latter -had presented in its death agony. He winked at a foxy man in overalls -picking his nose at the edge of the crowd. - -"Guess it'll be a while 'fore any more damned reptiles move in here -like they owned the place," he concluded. - -The courthouse doors banged wide; excited citizens poured forth, -veering aside from Cecil Stump. The crowd around him thinned, broke up -as its members collared those emerging with the hot news. The reporter -picked a target. - -"Perhaps you'd care to give me a few details of the action taken by -the ... ah ... Special Committee, sir?" - -Senator Custis pursed his lips. "A session of the Town Council was -called," he said. "We've defined what a person is in this town--" - -Stump, standing ten feet away, snorted. "Can't touch me with no _ex -post factory_ law." - -"--and also what can be classified as vermin," Custis went on. - -Stump closed his mouth with a snap. - -"Here, that s'posed to be some kind of slam at me, Custis? By God, come -election time...." - -Above, the door opened again. A tall man in a leather jacket stepped -out, stood looking down. The crowd pressed back. Senator Custis and -the reporter moved aside. The newcomer came down the steps slowly. He -carried Cecil Stump's nickel-plated .44 in his hand. - -Standing alone now, Stump watched him. - -"Here," he said. His voice carried a sudden note of strain. "Who're -you?" - -The man reached the foot of the steps, raised the revolver and cocked -it with a thumb. - -"I'm the new exterminator," he said. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Bad Day for Vermin, by Keith Laumer - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A BAD DAY FOR VERMIN *** - -***** This file should be named 51258.txt or 51258.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/2/5/51258/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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