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diff --git a/old/51239-0.txt b/old/51239-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index e2c56b3..0000000 --- a/old/51239-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,7248 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Modern Athens, by Robert Mudie - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: The Modern Athens - A dissection and demonstration of men and things in the Scotch Capital. - -Author: Robert Mudie - -Release Date: February 17, 2016 [EBook #51239] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MODERN ATHENS *** - - - - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, deaurider and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - - TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE: - ---Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected. - - - - - THE - MODERN ATHENS: - - - A DISSECTION AND DEMONSTRATION - OF MEN AND THINGS - - IN - - THE SCOTCH CAPITAL. - - - BY A MODERN GREEK. - - _Ανδϱες Αϑηναῖοι, ϰατὰ ϖάντα ὡς δεισιδαιμονεστέϱους - ὑμᾶς ϑεωϱῶ._ - - - LONDON: - PRINTED FOR KNIGHT AND LACEY, - PATERNOSTER ROW. - - MDCCCXXV. - - - - - LONDON: - Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES, - Northumberland-court. - - - - - CONTENTS. - - - CHAPTER I. - - The Author and the King set out for the Athens--The - Author arrives--The Gathering--Corporation-men--Glasgow, - Aberdeen, Perth, Dundee, &c.--The People page 1. - - - CHAPTER II. - - Athenian Preparations for Majesty--Official Men--Royal - Society--Plan by the Ultras--Migration of the - Jews--Exercise of the Athenian Fair--Sir Walter - Scott--Storm at Sea--Anxiety in the Athens--Royal - Squadron arrives--Fresh anxiety p. 19. - - - CHAPTER III. - - The King lands--Grandeur of the Scenery--Joy of - the People--Insult to Leith--Illuminations--The - Levee--The Court--Disappointment of - Official Men--The Athenian Ladies--Royal - Salutation--Dances--Pilgrimages--Dinners--Kirks--Vanity - of the Athens--National - Monument--Dispersion--Farewell p. 41. - - - CHAPTER IV. - - The - Athens--Situation--Architecture--Environs--Self-idolatry - --Widowed State--Sundry Theories p. 149. - - - CHAPTER V. - - Political State of Scotland--Counties--Burghs--The - Athens--Criminal Law--Lord Advocate--Athenian - Tories--Whigs p. 167. - - CHAPTER VI. - - Athenian Lawyers--Their overwhelming Influence--Their - Habits and Characters--Solemnity of the Scotch Criminal - Courts p. 187. - - - CHAPTER VII. - - Athenian Learning--Causes of its - Decline--Professors--Philosophers--University--Patronage - --Athenian Parsons p. 206. - - - CHAPTER VIII. - - Literature--Ramsay--Ferguson--Burns--The - Edinburgh Review--Blackwood’s Magazine--The - Scot’s Magazine--Miserable State of the Athenian - Press--Causes p. 225. - - - CHAPTER IX. - - Education--Scotch Education generally--Its - Advantages--The Athenian Populace--Athenian - Education--Its doubtful Qualities p. 258. - - - CHAPTER X. - - Athenian Manners--Religion p. 290. - - - CHAPTER XI. - - Sundry Qualities in Supplement p. 305. - - -Throughout the Volume, there will be found _attic_ touches of real -character, in illustration of the general and local truths. - - - - -THE - -MODERN ATHENS. - - - - -CHAPTER I. - -THE AUTHOR AND THE KING ARE INDUCED TO VISIT THE MODERN ATHENS. - - -“Ego et Rex meus.”--WOLSEY. - - -The renown of the Scottish Metropolis,--that city of wonders and of -wisdom, of palaces and of philosophy, of learned men and of lovely -women, had sounded so long and so loudly in their ears, that toward -the close of summer 1822, the Author of these pages and the Sovereign -of these realms, were induced to pay it a visit, each in that state -and with that pomp and circumstance which was becoming his station in -the world. The one, in that unmarked guise which is fitting for one -who lives more for the glory of others than of himself, and who sets -more value upon the single sentence which preserves his memory when he -is no more, than upon all that he can possess or enjoy in this world. -The other, in that glow and grandeur, which gains in intensity what -it stands some chance of losing in duration,--which is the grand idol -of its day; and which, when that day has closed, is gathered to the -sepulchre of its fathers, to make room for another--and the same. - -The Author of these pages must not be blamed, or deemed disloyal, for -having given his own name the precedence of that of his Sovereign. -Every man in reality prefers himself before all the sovereigns in -the world; and wherefore should not one man state this preference in -words? The courtier declares that all his services are devoted to his -king,--but he devotes them no longer than that king can afford to -pay for them: the soldier swears that he will die in defence of the -crown,--but he never dies till he is compelled by the superior strength -or skill of another. Even upon general grounds, therefore, there is -candour if not courtesy in this order of precedence. - -But, when the specialities of the case are considered,--when it is -borne in mind that the monarch, all-gracious and polite as he is, -visited the Athens, as well to dazzle the Athenians by his grandeur, -as to delight them by his bounty,--that the native luminaries of that -centre of many twinkling lights were shorn of their beams by his -overwhelming radiance,--that this instance of kingly condescension -taught the ΔΕΜΟΣ of Athena to regard as haply something less even than -men, those whom they had formerly looked upon as possessing some of -the attributes of divinity; and when, on the other hand, it is taken -into the account that the author of these pages made his visit solely -with a view of seeing with his own eyes, hearing with his own ears, and -proclaiming with his own lips, the truth of those reports which had -come to him through so many channels, and of which the fruition had -proved so much more delectable than the foretaste: then, assuredly, -ought Athena herself, from all the castles of her strength, the halls -of her wisdom, the drawing-rooms of her beauty, and the alleys of her -retirement, to confess that she owes to the author of these pages more -than kingly gratitude.--The King noticed but a few of her people, -enriched not many, and ennobled almost none: those pages are intended -to enwrap the whole in one pure and perennial blaze of glory. - -It was on the evening of the same day that the Monarch took shipping -at Greenwich amid the shouts of assembled multitudes, and the Author -took his seat on the top of the Edinburgh mail, amid piles of tailors’ -boxes, each containing a courtier’s habit, in which some fond, and -fawning, and fortune-desiring son of Caledonia was to bend the supple -knee in the presence of Majesty, within the ancient palace of the -Holyrood. The voyages of kings, and the velocity of mail-coaches, are -already known and appreciated; and thus there needs no more to be said, -than that here also the Author had by several days the precedence of -the King. - -The jolting of the wooden cases of my courtly neighbours, together -with forty-eight hours’ exposure to drought by day and damp by night, -prepared me, in spite of all my burning anxiety to see the far-famed -city, for the enjoyment of several hours of repose; and, as Athena was -at this time too much excited for permitting me to enjoy this till -towards morning, the sun had risen high before I left my chamber. - -Upon hurrying into the street,--into that Princes’ street, which, as -I afterwards learned, is at certain seasons of the year the favourite -lounge of the Athenian dandies, and at certain hours of the day the -favourite haunt of the Athenian fair, who resort thither as the -clock strikes four, to feast their fair and anxious eyes upon the -self-important forms of dashing advocates, the more dapper and pursey -ones of pawkie writers to his Majesty’s signet, or the attenuated -striplings of the quill--the future Clerks and Jefferys, who at that -hour are returning from the harvest of law and profits to such feast -as awaits them in ample hall or elevated cock-loft, according to their -talents, their connexions, or their purses;--upon hurrying into that -street, in the expectation of feasting my eyes upon the natural and -architectural glories of the city, I found that those glories were in -the mean time veiled in the maddening preparations of a whole people, -who had come from every portion of the main land, and from the remotest -isle of Thulè, to wonder at and to admire that mightiest marvel of -human nature--a king. - -So novel and so varied were the costumes, so unexpected and so -singular were the features and expressions, and so uncouth and -Babylonish were the voices, that the eye and the ear were confounded, -the judgment could not understand, and the memory could preserve no -record. Here you might see some brawny and briefless barrister--the -younger son of a loyal family, with a pedigree at least twice as -long as its rental, with trowsers and jacket _à la_ Robin Hood, -and huge blue bonnet adorned with the St. Andrew’s cross and a -turkey-cock’s feather--looking for all the world like a chimney-sweep’s -Jack-o’-the-Green, or a calf dressed entire and garnished with -cabbage-leaves; while close by him trotted a loyal toast-composing -crown-lawyer, with his hinder end cased in a phillibeg, a feathered -bonnet, at least a third of his own height, an iron-hilted sword -somewhat more than the whole, and a dirk that might have served for -a plough-share, puffing and blowing under the weight of his own -importance, and the accoutrements of the Celtic society. In close -juxtaposition with these was a genuine _Glhuine dhu_, plaided, plumed, -and whiskered, and looking as if all the kings of the earth were -nothing to that swaggering chieftain, of whose _tail_ he formed no -inconsiderable portion. In another place you could catch the broad -face and broader bonnet of a lowland farmer of the old school, cased -in one uniform garb of home-made blue, with brass buckles to his -shoes, a brass key suspended to his watch by a tough thong of black -leather, greasy enough,--holding solemn colloquy with that reverend -member of the Scottish Kirk, to whom he acted in the capacity of ruling -elder, about the danger of compromising the interests of the Whig or -_high-flying_ part of that establishment, during the _avatar_ of so -many Tories. The reverend gentleman himself was no bad sight. His -general-assembly coat and et cetera’s were duly kept at home,--that -is to say, in his two-shillings-a-week apartments, up seven pair -of stairs, in College-street, or haply in the house of that town -acquaintance with whom he had found cheaper board,--till the eventful -days should arrive. Thus he was habited in his parson’s grey, the -breast of which, where it projected beyond the perpendicular, bore -testimony to the fall, both of broth and of punch, while his inferior -regions were shaded and shielded by dark-olive velveteens, a little -tarnished, worsted hose furrowed as neatly as the turnip-division of -his glebe, and cow-skin shoes of the most damp-defying power, which -borrowed no part of their lustre from Mr. Robert Warren. Still the good -man was clean in his linen; his chin was shorn like a new-mowed field; -his visage beamed forth gratitude for “a competent portion of the good -things of this life;” and his plump and ruddy hands slumbered with -much orthodox ease in the capacious pockets of the velveteens. Anon, a -highland laird, whose _tail_ comprised only his lady and half a dozen -of daughters, and who seemed to be meditating upon the roofless castle -and ill-stored larder, to which the expense of parading full thirty-six -feet of female charms before the King would subject him, during the -weary moons of the Highland winter, hurried past, not at all at his -ease. - -But, to describe the individuals, strongly marked as they were, -would be altogether out of the question; and, indeed, to give any -thing like even a sketch of the groups and classes and knots of men, -women, and children, in all habits, of all ages, and in almost every -variety of shape, would bankrupt even a German vocabulary, although -in that language one be allowed, for clearness sake, to lump a score -of sentences into a single epithet. The cry was still “they come,” -and Caledonia, from fertile plain and far mountain,--from toiling -city and tiresome wilderness,--from rock, and glen, and river,--upon -the wings of the wind, urged on by steam, drawn in coach, chaise, -waggon, cart, and hurdle, riding upon horses, mules, and donkeys, and -running upon feet, shod and unshod,--came scudding and smoking, and -creaking and crashing, and reeking and panting, in one conglomerating -cloud, and one commingling din, to distract the attention from the -attic glories of Edinburgh, and for a time drown her classic sounds -in the discordant and untunable din of all the provinces. Here you -had the broad shoulders and bold bearing of the borderer, delving an -elbow, of the size and substance of a sirloin of beef, into the skinny -ribs of an Aberdonian professor of humanity, who all the time kept -squeaking like a sick fiddle, in response to the bellow of the other, -which reminded you of a bull confined in the vaulted hall of an old -castle. There grinned the fat face of an East Lothian farmer, between -a Perth baillie on the one hand, and a Stonehaven scribe on the other, -like a ram’s tail between the blades of a shepherd’s sheers. And, -yonder gaped and wondered the great face of a Glasgow negro-driver, -like a Gorgon’s head--not upon the shield of Minerva. Still there was -something interesting in the mighty and motley throng: it put one in -mind of Noah’s ark, which contained “clean beasts, and beasts that are -not clean, and fowls, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth.” - -The most delectable part of the gathering was the combined clans and -the burgh corporations. The former belted like warriors and bellied -like weasels, and tricked out for the occasion in their respective -tartans of their names, each bearing a sprig of the symbolic tree in -his bonnet, a huge claymore in the one hand, and a relay of brogues -and stockings in the other, with a great horn snuff-mull thrust into -his _sporran_--open and ready for action--hurried along at the _pas -de charge_ to their headquarters for the time-being, where they were -instantly dispersed into the crowd, thence to reassemble when the -bagpipe should frighten the last shadow of night. - -The corporation-men came in less military but more important guise. -Glasgow, the queen of the west, Aberdeen, the glory of the north, -Dundee and Perth, the rival empresses of the centre, with Cupar-Fife, -Crail, and a hundred others, each charged with a loyal and dutiful -address, which had been composed by the town-clerk, revised in the -spelling by the schoolmaster, and was to be discharged at the King, -in a manner so powerful and point-blank, as to procure knighthood if -not earldom for such candle-selling provost, breeches-manufacturing -baillie, or other chief magistrate “after his kind,” came on with a -splendour and an importance that Scotland never before witnessed. - -Glasgow, as became her purse and her pride, came blazing like the -western star--or rather like a comet whose tail would have girdled half -the signs of the zodiac. The van was led by the magistrates, in a coach -which previously knew every street and lane of the city, but which was -relackered for the occasion, had the city arms emblazoned upon it as -large as a pullicate handkerchief, and was drawn by eight grey horses -of the genuine Lanarkshire breed,--the thunder of whose feet as they -dashed along shook the kirk of Shotts, and had nearly laid Airdrie and -Bathgate in ruins. The clatter which they made along Princes’ Street -was astounding; the crowd collected in thousands at the din; some -cried it was the king himself; but the final opinion was, that it was -“naebody but the magestrates o’ Glasgow.” - -In the train of this goodly leading, there followed full fifty -thousand,--or to speak by measure, as number was quite out of the -question, full forty-four miles of merchants and makers of muslin; and -the vehicles which carried the car-borne part of them were more strange -and varied than ever appeared at the triumph of a Roman emperor upon -his return from smiting the barbarous nations, and carrying themselves -and all their utensils captive. Here you would see the equipage of a -rich dealer in turmeric or tobacco, fashionable enough except in its -contents; there you were presented with a Glasgow _Noddy_, squeezing -forward its lank form like a tile, and dragged by a steed with three -serviceable legs, and one eye the worse for the wear; in another place -you would meet with a hearse, with a tarpaulin over it to hide the -death’s head and the bones, and crammed full of the saints of the -Salt-market laid lengthways for the convenience of stowage; while the -rear was brought up by an enormous tilted waggon, which, though it was -at first conjectured to contain Polito’s collection of wild beasts, -was, upon examination, found to be charged very abundantly with that -more important and polished matter--the ladies and gentlemen of Paisley -and Greenock. - -The pride of the north had been more than usually upon the _qui vive_. -The Provost had been attitudenizing before a great mirror for a week, -and getting his pronunciation translated into English by Mr. Megget, -of the Academy, for at least a fortnight; the town-clerk had been -drudging at “steps” in private with Mr. Corbyn for a month, and the -learned Mr. Innes had been applied to, to cast the nativity of the -city; and, from the horoscope--Saturn in conjunction with Mars, and -Venus lady of the ascendant, it was sagely inferred by the clubbed -wisdoms of King’s and Mareschal that the Provost “wad get a gryte -mickle purse o’ siller, for the gueed o’ the ceety, forby a triffle to -himsel’;” and that, if not a duke, the town-clerk would be a _goose_ at -any rate, if both eschewed during their sojourn that hankering after -the sex which was portended by the lady Venus being in the middle -house. Those polite and philosophic preparations having been made, -the state coach, with two cats (the emblems of _bon accord_) the size -of a couple of yeanling lambs, gilt with Dutch fulzie, and spotted -with coffin black, “all for the sparin’ o’ the cost,” rattled along -the bridge of Dee at the tail of six hardy shelties from the Cabrach, -“which could mak’ a shift to live upo’ thristles, or fool strae, or -ony thing that they cou’d pyke up at a dykeside.” Still, however, this -mighty magisterial meteor streamed across Drumthwackit, along the “how -o’ the Mearns,” and adoun Strathmore, like an aurora borealis flashing -from the pole to the zenith, flickering and crackling, and smelling of -brimstone. While its tail drew the third part of the wilie natives of -the city; the other two-thirds took their way in barks and steam-boats, -because it was “cheaper by the tae half.” - -But what words can describe the grand array of the municipal -authorities of Perth: Perth, the centre and heart of Scotland--the -capital of the Picts, the delight of the Romans, who tumbled down in -ecstasy when they first beheld it from the summit of Moncrief Hill, -and, fancying that they saw in its green _inches_, its sweeping river, -and its ample size, the Campagna, the Tiber, and the Eternal city, -shouted in one voice “Ecce Tiber! Ecce Campus Martius!”--Perth, which -looks upon Aberdeen as dry stubble, and Glasgow as the dust of the -earth; and which has received within its halls and palaces more kings -and mighty men, than the compass of these pages could hold, or the -sages of its own Antiquarian society could number. - -To pay due honour to the decorum, the sagacity, and the harmony of such -a city, it is worth while to pause and learn a little, before speaking -of the equipage. Well, what, gentle reader, shall we learn? Why that -the same gentleman who sat in that splendid equipage as chief ruler -of the city, put to the proof, as touching his Celtic or Sarmatian -origin, no less a personage than the Grand Duke Nicholas, brother to -the autocrat of all the Russias--the arbiter for the time being of all -the legitimate monarchs upon the continent of Europe. The fame of the -city of Perth being, of course, well known upon the banks of the Neva, -and the Kremlin at Moscow having been burnt as the first portion of the -funeral pile of Buonaparte, there was no place where the magnanimous -Alexander could find a fit pattern after which to build the restored -Kremlin, except this fine and far-famed city of Perth. The Grand Duke -Nicholas, from his well-known architectural and other tastes, was -deputed upon this important mission; and, having taken London, the -Athens, and a few such places of inferior note in his way, he arrived -at the city of all beauty; and was received by a bowing magistracy, and -a gaping populace. During his stay at the George Inn, the superiority -of the Tay salmon and “Athol brose,” over the _caviere_ and _quass_ of -his own country, worked the imperial clay to the temperature of a very -Vesuvius. He applied to the Lord Provost in his need. The Lord Provost -convened his council. Their words were wise, and their faces were -wiser; but they could determine nothing; and so they handed the case -over to the ministers and elders of the kirk. These shut their eyes and -opened their mouths; and having done so for a due season, they found -that as the Grand Duke Nicholas was not in communion with their church, -the Grand Duke Nicholas might, in all matters bodily or ghostly, do -as the said Grand Duke Nicholas felt inclined. This response delighted -the municipal authorities, and they hurried to the inn to communicate -with their own lips this plenary indulgence. Provost Robertson hemmed, -stroked his beard, and led off in words wherein the Saxon and the -Celtic so perfectly neutralized each other, that the whole was as -smooth as oil. But, though the Grand Duke Nicholas understood many -single languages, the mouth even of a magistrate delivered of twins, -was as new to him as it was incomprehensible. It was clear, from his -lack-lustre eye, that he did not understand one word of what was -said; and he tried to convey as much in Latin, French, German, Russ, -and no one knows how many other outlandish tongues; but as the Grand -Duke Nicholas could not ascend to a double language, so neither could -the Provost of Perth descend to a single one; wherefore the mighty -mountaineer, who during the Athenian display acted Perth, brushed up to -him, tumbling down half a dozen of splay-foot councillors and ricketty -deacons, and exclaiming, “Try her o’ the Gaelic, my Lord Provost! try -her o’ the Gaelic!” - -A person of this calibre, and having buttoned within his waistcoat the -chief honour of a town of this fame, could not choose but exhibit a -corresponding exterior. Accordingly, the coach was the size of a fly -van; the horses would have done credit to Whitbread’s heaviest dray; -and, in very deed, had a sportsman of the land of Cockaigne seen the -emblazoned arms, pop would have gone Joseph Manton right and left at -the displayed eagle of silver-white, as at a goose of kindred obesity, -and fit for the Michaelmas board. - -Of those civic exhibiters, Dundee must close the muster: Dundee, after -these, was “filthy Dowlas.” The wig of her chief magistrate, (which -seemed as though he had exchanged it with the Perth coachman, as they -had been taking a groats-worth of swipes and thrippeny blue at Luckey -Maccarracher’s Hotel, down three flights of stairs, in Shakspeare’s -Square,) did not contain as much sand-coloured hair as would have -stuffed a pincushion; and, as for the poll itself, not a barber in -Petticoat-lane would have shown it in his window. Their equipage, which -had once belonged to a celebrated radical, was whitewashed for the -occasion, had two green salamanders marked upon it, as lank as though -they had fed upon smoke--as much as to say that the lading within was -proof against fire and brimstone. Four experienced cattle, which had -been rescued or borrowed from the dogs’ meat-man, dragged forward the -heavy and heartless array; and the brawling burghers took shipping at -their new harbour; but Æolus was adverse, and so they who had hoped -to see George the Fourth saw Holland, got fuddled with Scheidam gin, -bought a cargo of flax, and returned, not much the wiser--that had been -impossible. - -This, and much more after the same fashion, was enough and more than -enough to distract the attention from all the Athenses that ever were -built or blazoned in story. But this, and much more like this, was -not all: there was also much very unlike it,--so unlike, that when -you turned from the one to the other, you felt as if seas had been -crossed; ay, as if the very poles of the earth had been reversed, or -as if you had passed from the depth of folly to the height of wisdom -in the twinkling of an eye. There were the whole assembled people of -Scotland,--of that people who, girt with no ill-suited authority, -and tricked out with no incongruous and tawdry pomp, had come in the -fullness of their hearts and the abundance of their curiosity, to -look upon their liege lord the King. The magistrates in their coaches -were senseless pomp; the Highland chiefs with their tartans and their -tails, were a useless, and, in many instances where they had commanded -the small farmers to leave their scanty crops to be scattered by the -winds or rotted by the rains, a cruel parade; but the people,--the -free and independent people who assembled of their own will, at their -own cost, and for their own pleasure, formed a solemnity at which the -eye could not fail to be delighted, and over which the heart could not -fail to exult with the most ample and the most exquisite joy. To the -hundred thousand inhabitants of Athens, there were added full twice -as many strangers, all in their best array; and yet, among the whole -there was nothing taking place at which either law or delicacy could -be offended. Religious and political animosity had been laid aside, -oppression had been forgiven, and meanness forgotten; the people seemed -to compose but one family, and they spoke as if animated with only one -wish,--namely, that the King should come: or if they had another, it -was that his coming might be speedy and safe. Whatever other men may -think of Edinburgh--of Scotland, as a place to be visited, it is a -glorious place for being visited by a king; and, it will be no proof -of wisdom in the future monarchs of Britain, if they allow the crown -to pass to a successor without paying it a visit. Kings reign the more -happily and the more secure, the more freely and frequently that they -show themselves to their subjects. - - - - -CHAPTER II. - - THE MODERN ATHENS, HAVING ALREADY RECEIVED THE AUTHOR, MAKES - PREPARATIONS FOR RECEIVING THE KING. - - - “The young gudewife o’ Auchinblae, - She was a cannie woman; - She wiped her wi’ a wisp o’ strae, - When her gudeman was comin.”--OLD BALLAD. - - -THE movements of a people of so much gusto, and grace, and gravity, -as those who had interposed their thickening clouds between my vision -and those municipal and mental glories which I had come to see, could -not choose but do every thing according to the most approved canons of -philosophy; and thus the mighty matter of the royal visitation had to -be received in its beginning, its middle, and its end, before I could -proceed in my legitimate and laudatory vocation. Besides the people who -came, there were the preparations made and the deeds done,--each of -which is well worthy of a chapter. - -The rumour of the high honour came upon the Athens like the light of -the morning,--beaming upon the most elevated points, while yet the -general mass remained in shadow. The Lord President of the Court of -Session, the Lord Provost of the City of Edinburgh, the Lord Advocate, -Lady Macconochie, the very Reverend, and (by office and intuition,) -very learned Principal Baird, the Sheriff of the County, Deacon -Knox, of Radical-threshing renown, Mr. Archibald Campbell, and that -fair dame who watches and wipes in Queen Mary’s apartments at the -Holyrood, were the first upon whom the radiance broke; and, the summit -of Ben Nevis gilded by the morning sun, looks not more proudly down -upon the mists of Lochiel or the melancholy waste of Rannoch, than -each and all of those high personages did upon the ungifted sons and -daughters of Edinburgh. They were in a fidget of the first magnitude, -as to what was to be done, and who was to do it. Long and deep were -their deliberations; but, like the Areopagites of the Elder Athens, -themselves and their deliberations were in the dark. Hence, as hope -is the grand resource in such cases, they deputed the Lord President -to seek aid from the Royal Society of Edinburgh,--a society which, -composed of the wisest heads, and prosecuting the wisest subjects, -always says and does the very wisest things in the very wisest manner. - -Fortunately the Society was sitting,--doing its incubation, upon a -refutation of Aristotle’s poetics by Sir George M’Kenzie, of Coul, -Bart., and a proposal for lighting all the roads in Scotland with -putrid fish-heads, by Sir John Sinclair. The Lord President opened his -mouth and his case; and each learned head nodded with the solemnity -of that of a Jupiter. The trumpet-call, blown through the nose by a -bandana handkerchief, summoned to the charge the commodity of brains -that each possessed; and each having returned the bandana to its place, -looked as wise as the goddess of the Elder Athens, or even as her -sacred bird. The general question propounded to them ran thus,--“What -was to be done, and by whom?” and the deliverance of their wisdoms -was, that “Every thing ought to be done, and every body ought to do -it”--a response surpassing in profoundity any thing ever uttered by -the Pythoness herself. The countenance of the dignified delegate was -brought parallel to the ceiling; his eyes and mouth had a contest as -to which could become the wider; and, he Macadamized the question -by breaking it into smaller pieces: “What should they say to the -King; what should they give him to eat; and how should they demean -themselves?” It was resolved, as touching the first, that they should -say very little, for fear of errors in propriety or in grammar; but -that they should put in motion the addressing-machinery, of which -official men in Scotland had so often felt the benefit, and give, in -“change for a Sovereign” as it were, two hundred and forty of those -copper coins, for their own benefit, and that of the royal closet. The -second point was more puzzling: A king would not care for sheep’s-head -or haggis, and as for French cookery, that would be no rarity. Some -lamented that the Airthrie whale was petrified, and that Dr. Barclay’s -elephant was nothing but bones; and Sir John Sinclair recommended three -mermaids dressed entire,--of which he assured them there were plenty -on the coast of Caithness. Upon this point there was a difference of -opinion; and they resolved to board the King upon the enemy, by getting -ten fat bucks from that notorious Whig the Honourable W. Maule, as his -Grace of Montrose had only one to spare. Upon the third point their -decision was equally summary and clear, “Every one was to do the best -that he could.” - -Those sage counsels having been given and received, the loyalty of -Athens was set fire to in a number of places, and anon the whole city -was in a blaze. Lords of session, spies, men who had eaten flesh and -drank wine for the glory of the throne, excisemen, crown-lawyers, -holders and expectants of crown-patronages, address-grinders, -beaconeers, and all the interminable file of that which had supported -the loyalty and existence of Scotland in the worst of times, shone -forth with first and fiercest lustre. In that great tattle-market -(hereafter to be described,) the Parliament-house, you would have found -the Tory barristers--the current of whose loyalty is seldom much broken -by briefs, clubbing together, cackling as though they had been the sole -geese of salvation to the capitol, and stretching their mandibles, -and showing their feathers at the more-employed and laborious Whigs, -as a race soon to be exterminated. The disposal of majesty himself -was committed to the Great Unknown, who sagely counselled that they -should make a still greater unknown of the King, by mewing him up -in Dalkeith-house, where he could commune only with a few of the -chosen; and, that they should bring him before the public only once or -twice, to be worshipped and wondered at, more as a favour of _their_ -procuring, than of his own Royal pleasure. How little they knew of his -Majesty, and how much they had overrated their own importance occurred -not to them at the time, but they found it out afterwards. - -The next weighty question was what the city should do in her municipal -capacity; and, it was ordered _in limine_ that the nightly tattoo -of “The Flowers of Edinburgh,” which from time immemorial had been -played in the streets, should be suspended during the solemnity, under -pain of escheat of the instruments, allenarly for the private benefit -and use of the Lord Provost and magistrates. Every one who has seen -Edinburgh must know the perfect resemblance which her High-street--that -street in which magistracy is pre-eminently dominant, and where shows -are wont to be exhibited--bears to the back-bone of a red-herring. -Westward you have the castle in form, in elevation, and in grandeur, -the very type of the head; eastward, at the further extremity, you -have the palace of Holyrood, which from its lowly situation among -cesspools and bankrupts, and its usual gloomy and forlorn condition, -may very properly be likened to the tail; the intermediate street -is the spine; while the wynds and closes which stretch to the North -Loch on the one side, and the Cow-gate on the other, are the perfect -counterpart of the ribs. This High-street was cleared of some old -incumbrances, had exhibition-booths erected along its whole extent; and -it was expressly ordered that, as the King passed along, no frippery -or foul linen should be exhibited from even the third garret windows; -and, that during the whole sojourn of royalty, no man should enter the -rendezvouses in the closes by the street end, but come in by the back -stairs; _more clerici_, in the same fashion as during the sittings -of the General Assembly. But, it would be endless to notice all the -sagacious orders and prompt actings: suffice it to say, that every -thing which could be thought of was ordered, and every thing ordered -was done. - -The people of the Athens are, even upon ordinary occasions, much -more attentive to their dress than to their address; and, therefore, -it was to be expected that they should be so upon so momentous an -occasion. Besides the tailors’ boxes of which I had felt a specimen on -my journey, there was work for every pair of sheers and needle in the -city. Webs of tartan, wigs, pieces of muslin, paste diamonds, ostrich -feathers, combs as well for use as for ornament, were driving over the -whole place like snow-flakes at Christmas. But, the hurry and harvest -were by no means confined to the Caledonian shop-keepers. The rumour -had reached the purlieus of Leicester-square, and had been heard in the -fashionable repositories of Holywell. The remnant of Jacob gathered -themselves together, resolving to come in for their share of the milk -and honey which was flowing in the new-made Canaan of Scotland; while -the daughters of Judah put tires upon their heads, and thronged away -to spoil the Amorites northward of the Tweed. It were impossible to -describe the wares brought by the sons of Jacob,--it were needless to -tell of those brought by the daughters of Israel. The plume which had -nodded upon the brows of fifty queens at Old Drury, was refurbished -to adorn some proud and pedigreed dame of the north; swords of most -harmless beauty--having nothing of steel about them but the hilts, were -crossed most bewitchingly in every thoroughfare, accompanied by old -opera-hats, bag-wigs, buttons, and every thing which could give the -outward man the guise and bearing of a courtier. Before these elegant -repositories slender clerks and sallow misses might be seen ogling -for the live-long day, and departing in sorrow at nightfall, because -the small tinkle in their pockets was unable to procure for them even -one morning or evening’s use of that garb, the fee simple of which -had cost Moses seven shillings and sixpence, and the translation and -transmission a crown-piece. Moses indeed found that he had something -else than Ludgate-hill and Regent-street to contend with; for, every -ribbon-vending son of the North had garnished his windows with trinkets -and ornaments which, in appearance, in quality, and in price, would -have done honour to Solomon himself. - -But wherefore should I waste time on the ornaments of individuals, when -the garnishing of the whole city was before my eyes,--when, from the -pier of Leith to the farthest extremity of Edinburgh, every act of the -coming drama stood rubric and impressed upon men and women, and things. -The first, important enough upon all occasions, had now put on looks of -ten-fold wisdom and sagacity. The second, all bewitching as they are in -their native loveliness, were subjecting their necks to the process of -bleaching by chlorine gas, laying their locks in lavender, sleeping in -“cream and frontlets,” and applying all manner of salves and unctions -to the lip, in order to make it plump and seemly for the high honour -of royal salutation. I have no evidence that any daughter of the North -fed upon the flesh of vipers in order to induce fairness in her own, as -little have I evidence that there was need for such a regimen; I did -hear, however, that the lady of one baronet took up her lodgings for -two successive nights in a warm cow’s-hide, and that she of a senator -of the college of justice wrought wonders upon her bust by a cataplasm -of rump-steak, but I cannot vouch for the facts, or set my _probatum_ -to them as successful experiments in kaleiosophy. So much for the first -blush of preparation with the men and women; I need not add, that like -the streams of Edina, it became rich as it ran. - -The attitudes of things were a good deal more diversified and puzzling; -and, perhaps the shortest way of getting rid of them would be to -adopt the laundress’ phrase, and say they were “got up;” but this, -though summary and in the main correct, would neither be just nor -satisfactory,--because, in all modern stage displays, the actors would -cut but a sorry figure were it not for the scenery. - -As, however, the scenery arises out of the drama itself, while the -actors have an existence and character off the boards, it will be -necessary to premise an outline of the plot. That was arranged into -the following acts, with as many interludes public and private as -could be crammed into the time and space. The King was to land--to be -received by whoever should be accounted the greatest and most loyal -man in Scotland, which some said was Lord President Hope, some Bailie -Blackwood, some Sir Walter Scott, others Sir Alexander Gordon, of -Culvennan, a few Principal Baird, and even Professor Leslie had his own -vote and another--he was to shake hands with Bailie Macfie, of Leith, -(with his glove on as it were,) then he was to pass along streets, -through triumphal arches, over bridges, and in at gates, to the ancient -palace of the Holyrood, where the old throne from Buckingham-House had -been darned and done up for his reception, by way of reading him an -introductory lecture upon Scotch economy. Such was to be the first act -of the drama, and the preparations for it were peculiarly splendid. The -line of progress, which was both long and broad, was to be thronged -with people; the devices and mottoes were to be got up, to let the -King know that an illumination was coming; the ladies were instructed -to fidget and wriggle in the windows, by way of hint that there would -be a dance; the presence of Sir William Curtis made it certain there -would be turtle-soup; the curl of the Reverend Dr. Lamond’s nose -threatened a sermon; the archery and men with white sticks pointed to -a procession; the hungry looks of the Burgh magistrates and local men -in authority, had obvious reference to a levee; the pouting lips of -the ladies rendered a drawing-room indispensable; and the bevies of -breechless Highlanders and bandy-legged Southerns in similar costume, -were pretty sure tokens of a theatrical exhibition,--and, from the -extreme officiousness of Glengarry, the Kouli Khan of all the Celts, -it was pretty apparent that that exhibition could be nothing else than -Rob Roy--that prince of chieftains and cow-stealers. Thus, while the -first act was to be perfect in itself, it was shrewdly contrived that -it should develop the sequence and economy of the others; but still, to -make assurance double-sure, the gazette writer for Scotland, who had -been a sinecurist since the creation, was kept drudging at delineations -of doings and programmes of processions from morning till night, and -sometimes from night till morning. - -When the whole matter had been planned,--when the officers of the -household for Scotland had got their robes of state,--when the archers -had learned to walk without treading down the heels of each other’s -shoes,--when the tailor, the barber, and the dancing-master had done -the needful upon the Provost and Bailies,--when the tails of the -Highland chiefs had run quarantine,--when the edge of the parsons’ -appetites had been a little blunted,--when the wonted tattoo had -ceased,--when lamps had been hung upon the front of every house,--when -the ladies had drilled themselves in train-bearing, by the help of -sheets and table-cloths, and learned to do their salutations without -any inordinate smacking,--and when the elements of dazzling and of din -had been collected upon all the heights, in the likeness of bone-fires, -and bombs, and bagpipes,--it wanted only the placing of the royal foot -upon the pier at Leith, to bring all those mighty things into forward -and fervent action. - -Amid all those mighty preparations, there was one thing which was very -remarkable, and which throws perhaps more light both upon the morale of -the spectacle and the feelings of the people, than any other that could -be mentioned. The Scots, generally, are allowed to be a people of song -and of sentiment. There is a feeling in their melodies, an alternate -pathos and glee in their songs, and an enthusiasm and romance in their -legends, which are perhaps not equalled, and certainly not surpassed -by those of any nation in the world. This may with truth be said of -the nation, taking the average of times and of places; and, when it is -considered that the Modern Athens holds herself up to the world as a -sort of concentrated tincture or spirit of all that is fine or feeling -in the country,--as being the throne of learning--the chosen seat of -sentiment and of song; furthermore, when upon this occasion there was -gathered in and about the Athens, all the lights which are acknowledged -as shining, and all the fires which are recognised as burning, in taste -and talent throughout Scotland; it must be acknowledged, that something -might have been expected to go upon record worthy of such a people at -such a time. It had been known that the great Seneschal of all those -royal musters,--the ears of the Lord Advocate, the mouth of the Lord -President, the eyes of the Lord Provost--to hear, to speak, and to -stare, at mighty things as it were;--it had been known that, at the -mere loosening of a bookseller’s purse-strings, his verse had flowed -rapid as the Forth, and his prose spread wide as its estuary; and -surely it was not too much to hope that he would consecrate in song, -or conserve in story, an event which was so congenial to his avowed -sentiments, and which must have been (from the fond and forward part -he played in it) so gratifying to his individual vanity. When, too, it -was recollected that this famed and favoured servant of the muse had -gone, invited or not invited, to London at the Coronation, lest the -Laureat should break down under the compound pressure of solemnity and -sack, and the glory slide into oblivion for the want of a fit recorder, -it was surely to be hoped that he would have done justice to the royal -show in his own country, and in his own city. But, _ecce ridiculus -mus!_ the pen which had been so swift, and the tongue which had been -so glib at the bidding of a mere plebeian bookseller, were still and -mute when a king was the god, and an assembled nation the worshippers. -He who had made the world to ring again with the shouts of Highland -freebooters, and the din of whose tournaments yet sounds in our ears, -failed at the very point of need! “Ah, where was Roderick then! One -blast upon _his_ bugle horn” had been worth all the senseless vulgarity -from Princes’-street, and all the piddling inanity of Tweedale-court. -It was wished for, it was called for, it was imperious upon every -principle--not of consistency merely, but of gratitude; but it came -not; and all that stands recorded as having come from his otherwise -fluent pen upon the occasion, is a paltry and vulgar drinking song, -which it would disgrace the most wretched Athenian _caddie_ to troll -in the lowest pot-house of the Blackfriars wynd. - -If one whose piping is so gratefully received and so amply rewarded, -and whose loyalty has been withal so abundant and so profitable, -remained mute or degenerated into mere foolery upon the occasion, what -could be expected from the provincial and unhired dabblers in verse, -who write only to the casual inspiration of love or liquor, and melt in -madrigals or madden in catches according as Cupid or Bacchus holds the -principal sway! Nothing, I maintain, and therefore the Great Unknown is -guilty not only of his own omission, but of that of all his countrymen. -If he had done as he ought,--done in a way worthy of himself--putting -the occasion entirely out of the question, there is not a doubt but the -whole drove would have been at his heels. As the case stands, whatever -may be the comparative merits of the Whig _becks_ and Tory _booings_, -the poetic eclat of the visit of George the Fourth must succumb to that -of the descent of Jamie in sixteen hundred and eighteen. - -How is this to be accounted for?--I can see why the mouths of the minor -poets must have remained shut; but, to find an apology for the master -one, is no such easy matter; and perhaps the safe way for all parties -would be to place his salvation in consternation by day, and cups by -night. Still, it is remarkable that, though this was the only royal -visit with which Scotland had, during the reigns of six monarchs, been -honoured, there is no where existing a single decent page, either in -verse or in prose, in commemoration of it; and, if the long preparation -which was made for it, the bustle which it occasioned, and the crowds -which it drew together, be considered, one would feel disposed thence -to conclude, that the Athenians, instead of being that literary people -which they are represented, are a set of ignorant barbarians. This -however is, as themselves say, not the fact, and therefore there must -be a cause for their supineness. That cause, however, being beyond the -depth of my philosophy, must be left to their own. - -While the Athens was making all preparations to receive the king, -and the king all speed to visit the Athens, the elements, those -outlaws from even royal authority, created a little anxiety on both -sides. The weather, which had been propitious at the outset, became -(notwithstanding that the mayor of Scarbro’, in his zeal to present a -loyal address at the end of a long stick, had been chucked into the -sea, like another Jonah, and not swallowed up by a whale) not a little -unpleasant, as the royal squadron approached that singular rock, once -the abode of state prisoners, and now of Solon geese, denominated the -Bass, and resembling more than any thing else a great pigeon-pie riding -at anchor. The chosen had arranged that this same rock, emblematical of -the ancient manners as a prison-house, and haply of the modern men as a -gooserie, should be the first Scottish soil trodden by the royal foot. -Some said, that this was intended to show that, though the said chosen -were unable to contend with their political opponents in argument, -they had the power on their side, and could send them to prison; but -that is a point without the scope of my speculation, and it is of no -consequence, as the Father of the sea would not permit the Father of -the British people to land. - -When a day and night more than had been calculated upon were expired, -without any tidings of the royal squadron, the gloom of the Athenian -authorities became sad in the extreme. Here you would find one wight -twining up the steep acclivities of Arthur’s Seat, jerking his fatigued -corpus upon the pile of coal which had been collected upon the top for -a bon-fire, and straining his owl-like eyes to penetrate the dense fog -of the eastern horizon, like a conjuror ogling the volume of futurity; -and there would go a frowsy bailie or fat sheriff hotching and blowing -to the observatory on the Calton Hill, keeping the anxious window of -his wisdom for ten minutes at the telescope, and leaving it with -a growl that he could “see nothing,”--and how could he, bless his -honest soul! for he had not removed the brass cap from its opposite -extremity? No matter: bailies and sheriffs must understand Erskine’s -Institutes, but a telescope was quite another thing. Amid this looking -and lamenting, the wind freshened, and it rained; and there were -also one or two distant growls of thunder, which fear very naturally -converted into signals of distress from his Majesty’s yacht. Upon this, -the mental agony became immense; and, saving an attempt on the part of -Kerne of the Clan Donnochie, to open with his dirk a free passage for -the soul of a Canon-gate constable, no event had broken the gloom of -that dismal Tuesday. “Mirk Monday” had long been a day accursed in the -Scottish calendar, and it was now feared that his younger brother was -to reign in his stead. - -Next morning was little better; and though all the loyal spirits -of Athens scrambled to the heights to call the king from the -fog-enshrouded and “vasty deep,” there was no answer to their call, -save the hollow booming of the east wind, and the melancholy scream -of these sea-fowl which had escaped from the storm. They who had been -instrumental in bringing their sovereign into such peril, wist not what -to do; and, as is the case with most men in such a situation, they -did nothing,--at least nothing which could increase his safety, or -accelerate his arrival. - -Still the preparations went on; and, in the sadness and anxiety of the -day, the drilling of the highlanders and archers--who had become so -expert as to face all possible ways at a single word of command--were -not a jot abated, while the gloom of the night was broken by the -clinking of hammers erecting scaffolding in every thoroughfare, as -well as by pattering feet of official and other men learning to “make -their legs” against the levee, and the scratching of grinders’ pens -translating, redacting, and otherways brushing up loyal and dutiful -addresses, which came before them on all complexions of paper, and in -all concatenations of orthography. Nor were these glimpses through -the gloom confined to sounds; the sights were equally delectable. -Here, one might catch a sight of some single star, not of the first -magnitude, twisting her face into all expressions, and her neck into -all attitudes, in order to find the barleycorn of beauty in the bushel -of chaff; and there again might be beheld a whole constellation, -bedraperied with sheets as aforesaid, streaming forward through some -long gallery, tailed and terrible as comets, and then retreating -backwards with perplexed and puzzled steps, tucking up the sheets as -they progressed, and occasionally dropping like falling stars from the -firmament of their practice. - -Morning dawned; and the sleepless eyes and speculationless telescopes -again faired forth to scan the gloomy east. One from the top of the -Calton, cried “There is the Royal George! I know her by the spread of -her sails, and the sweep of her oars.” The crowd looked toward the -sea, and saw nothing. The observer looked at his telescope: a moth had -settled upon the object glass, with downy wings elevated above, and -feet and feelers extended below. Still the crowd collected, till every -height commanding a view of the point at which the Forth mingles its -broad waters with the ocean, was absolutely paved with human beings, -all worshipping towards the east, with more intense devotion than a -caravan of Moslem pilgrims in the desert. - -Toward mid-day, the more experienced eye, or better-ordered glass -of the port-admiral at Leith, descried the smoke of the assisting -steam-boats. Up went the royal standard; every gun of every ship in the -roads told the tidings; and instantly the echoes of cliff and castle -rang to the shouts of an hundred thousand joyous voices. All was bustle -and scramble. Heralds marshalling here, clans mustering there, and -people crowding everywhere; while the royal squadron, now aided by -a gentle but favourable breeze, stood majestically toward the roads, -where it anchored about two o’clock. Anon the water was peopled with -loyalty; the splendour of dresses and of flags dazzled the eye; and the -swell of all sorts of noises deafened the ear. The equilibrium of the -clouds was unsettled; and, just as preparations were making for the -landing, rain fell in torrents. Lest so much finery should be spoiled -in the first scene of the drama, the grand ceremony was postponed till -the next morning. The king, in the mean time, received at the hands -of Sir Walter Scott, a St. Andrew’s cross, the gift of some ladies -of Scotland, whose names (prudently perhaps) never were distinctly -published. Nearly at the same time with this, came a messenger of -another description. He told that the Marquis of Londonderry was no -more; and thus, even the royal joy was not wholly unmingled. Still -the king showed himself to his aquatic visitors in the most courteous -manner; and, perhaps, the two events were the better borne that they -came together. Thus the Athens had another night for preparation; and, -as it was not a night of fear, that preparation went on with increased -activity and spirit. She had now seen the king; and but a night was to -elapse, ere the gratification was to be mutual, by the king seeing her. -On his part, indeed, it should have been greatest, as she had given -herself most trouble, and would continue longest to feel the cost. - - - - -CHAPTER III. - -THE ATHENS RECEIVES THE KING, AND IS JOYOUS. - - All tongues speak of him, and the bleared sights - Are spectacled to see him: your prattling nurse - Into a rapture lets her baby cry, - While she chats him: the kitchen malkin pins - Her richest lockram ’bout her reechy neck, - Clambering the walls to eye him: stalls, bulks, windows, - Are smother’d up, leads fill’d, and ridges horsed, - With variable complexions; all agreeing - In earnestness to see him: seld’-shewn flamens - Do press among the popular throngs, and puff - To win a vulgar station: our veil’d dames - Commit the war of white and damask, in - Their nicely-gawded cheeks, to the wanton spoil - Of Phœbus’ burning kisses; such a pother, - As if that whatsoever god, who leads him, - Were slily crept into his human powers, - And gave him graceful posture.--SHAKSPEARE. - - -EVERY one, who having heard of the splendour which is attendant upon -royalty while dwelling at a distance from the scene of its display, -has thence been induced to mingle himself with the crowd of ordinary -spectators, must have felt how much the reality falls short of the -anticipation. One sees a gaudy vehicle drawn slowly along, and within -it a human being, apparently but ill at his ease, and obviously feeling -the same danger of tumbling from his unnatural and elevated seat as -one perched upon the top of a pyramid. A crowd, usually formed of -the ill-dressed and the idle, run and roar about the carriage; the -trumpeters play “God save the King,” the attendants wave their hats -and cheer, and the spectacle, having passed through its routine, is no -more heeded. In London, for instance, those state processions which -the etiquette of the court inflicts upon the sovereign, are not more -imposing than a Lord-Mayor’s show; and even the most loyal, unless it -conduces in some way or other to their personal interest, care little -for a second display. - -With this experience, I had prepared myself for being disappointed -in that spectacle which had brought Scotland together; and I _was_ -disappointed. But my disappointment was of a new kind; for the -solemnity, the grandeur, and the effect of the scene, were just as -much superior to what I had hoped for, as those of any analogous -scene that I had witnessed fell below the anticipation. The Scots -are, unquestionably, not a superstitious people; neither do they care -for parade. Upon ordinary occasions, too, they are a disputing and -quarrelling, rather than an united people; and with the exception of -those who are either paid or expect to be paid for it, they are by no -means inordinate in their loyalty. But they are a people whose feelings -have the depth, as well as the placidity, of still waters; the rocks, -the rivers, and even the houses, are things of long duration; there -is no portion of his country, upon which the foot of a Scotchman can -fall, that speaks not its tale or its legend; and there is no Scotchman -who does not look upon himself as identified with the annals of his -country, and regard Edinburgh as the seat of a royal line, of which -no man can trace the beginning, and of which no Scotchman can bear to -contemplate the end; and which, though it has been bereaved of its -royal tenant by an unfortunate union with a more wealthy land, is yet -more worthy of him, and more his legitimate and native dwelling-place, -than any other city in existence. - -The operation of those feelings, or prejudices, or call them what you -will, produced upon the occasion of which I am speaking, a scene, or -rather a succession of scenes, of a more intense and powerful interest -than any which I had ever witnessed, or, indeed, could have pictured to -myself in the warmest time and mood of my imagination. I had thought -the thronging of the people to Edinburgh a ridiculous waste of time; -I had laughed till every rib of me ached, at the fantastic fooleries -of the Celts and Archers, and the grotesque array of the official men; -and founding my expectations upon these, I had made up my mind that -the whole matter was to be a farce or a failure. But I had taken wrong -data: I had formed my opinion of Scotland from the same persons that, -to the injury and the disgrace of Scotland, form the channel through -which the British Government sees it; and therefore I was not prepared -for that solemn and soul-stirring display,--that rush of the whole -intellect of a reflective, and of the whole heart of a feeling people, -adorned and kept in measured order, by that intermixture of moral tact -and of national pride, which was exhibited to the delighted King, and -the astonished courtiers. It seemed as though hundreds of years of the -scroll of memory had been unrolled; and that the people, carrying the -civilization, the taste, and the science, of the present day along -with them, had gone back to those years when Scotland stood alone, -independent in arms, and invincible in spirit. - -As, to the shame of the literature of Scotland, and more especially -to that of the Athens--who arrogates to herself the capability of -saying every thing better than any body else, no account of this -singular burst of national feeling has appeared, except the gossiping -newspaper-reports at the time, and a tasteless _pot pourri_, hashed -up of the worst of these, with scraps of gazettes, and shreds of -addresses,--in which, more especially the latter, it would be vain -to look for any trace of the spirit of the people,--it is but an act -of common justice in me to devote a few pages to it, though I know -well that I shall fail of the effect which I am anxious to produce. -In order, as much as I can, to guard against this, I shall divide the -remainder of this chapter, (which, in spite of me, will be rather a -long one,) into as many sections as there were acts in the drama of the -King’s visit. The first of these will of course be, - - -THE PROCESSION TO HOLYROOD. - - ----------“He comes, he comes! - Sound the trumpets, beat the drums.” - -It seemed as though the lowering skies and sweeping storms, which had -made the longing people of Scotland almost despair of the pleasure of -the royal visit, and which had drenched them, and given them a whole -night of impatient delay, when the King was not many furlongs from the -Scottish shore, had been intended to heighten by their contrast the -splendour and eclât of the royal debarkation. The morning of Thursday, -the 15th of August, dawned in all the freshness of spring, and in all -the serenity of summer. The rains had given a renovated greenness to -the fields, and a thorough ablution to the city; and while the first -rays of the morning sun streamed through the curling smoke of fires -that were preparing the breakfast of three hundred thousand loyal and -delighted people, they painted upon the adjoining country that “clear -shining after rain,” which is, perhaps, the fairest and freshest guise -in which any land can be viewed. The soft west wind just gave to the -expanded Firth as much of a ripple as to shew that it was living -water, without curling the angry crest of a single billow. There was -a transparency in the air, of which those who are accustomed only to -the murky atmosphere of London, or the exhalations of the fat pastures -of England, could have no conception. Not only the colour of every -pendant in the roads, but the cordage of every ship, and the costume -of every one on board, was discernible from the elevated grounds about -Edinburgh; and, while standing on the Calton Hill, the royal squadron, -with thousands of boats and barges sporting around it, on the one -hand,--and the bustling crowd on the other, decked in their various and -gaudy attire, flitting past every opening, and filling every street -that was visible, composed a panorama of the most spirit-stirring -description. - -The ancient standard of Scotland was hoisted at Holyrood; the ancient -crown and sceptre of Scotland were there ready to be lent to his -Majesty,--but, too sacred and too dear to Scotland as the symbols -of her old and loved independence, for being given to a king, whom -she had come from her utmost bourne, decked herself in her finest -apparel, and tuned her heart to its choicest song of joy, to welcome; -the royal household of Scotland, more showy in their attire, and more -self-important in their bearing, than is usual where kings are subjects -of daily exhibition, because the robes and the occupation were new, -were proceeding toward the place of their rendezvous by the longest and -most circuitous paths that they could find out, anxious to levy their -modicum of admiration ere the more transcendent splendour and dignity -of the king should draw all eyes towards itself, and leave them as -the forgotten tapers of the night, after the glorious orb of day has -climbed the east; the Caledonian fair were thronging to the casements, -(balconies there were none,) each looking more happy than another, -and one could easily perceive that faces, which, during a reasonable -lapse of years--either through the fault or the failure of Hymen--had -been stiffened by sorrow, and saddened by despair, were that day to -be decked in their earliest, their virgin smile,--a smile which, they -were not without hopes, might draw other eyes, and charm other hearts, -than those of their sovereign; and the maddening burghers and wondering -yeomen were trotting about from place to place; and, in their zeal for -obtaining the best sight of the king, running some risk of not seeing -him at all. - -Having seen the muster of the official men--as well those who were to -proceed to the pier of Leith to receive his Majesty, as they who were -to deliver to him the keys of the city of Edinburgh, and thereupon -speak a speech, into which a full year’s eloquence of the whole -corporation, with some assistance of the crown lawyers, and a note or -two by Sir Walter Scott, was crammed,--having examined the facilities -which the people along the line of the procession had given the tenants -of a day for gratifying their eyes,--and having felt more joy at -heart than I had ever done at a public spectacle, at seeing so vast a -multitude so very happy, and so very worthy of happiness,--I set about -choosing my own station, in order that I might gaze, and wonder, and -be delighted with the rest; and, after very mature deliberation, I -resolved that that should be upon the leads of the palace of Holyrood, -provided I could get access to the same. - -Access was by no means difficult to be obtained, nor was my ascent -to the top of the ancient structure without its pleasures. In the -first place, I passed through the apartments of the fair queen of -Scotland,--the fairest, and all things considered, perhaps, the -frailest of royal ladies; and there I found the whole localities of -Rizzio’s murder, well preserved both in appearance and in tradition. In -the second place, I had the pleasure of seeing upon the leads, dressed -in the plain tartan of her adopted clan, the fair Lady Glenorchy, who -possesses all the charms of Mary, without any of her faults. I am not -sure that I ever saw a finer woman; I am sure that I never saw one in -whose expression intellect was more blended with sweetness, or spirit -softened and enriched by modesty and grace. - -Besides those intellectual (is that the term?) pleasures, there were -other things which rendered my locality the best of any: First, it -commanded a larger and better view of the procession; and, secondly, -though Edinburgh looks romantic from my situation, there is none where -it becomes so perfect a fairy tale. While I paced along the leads -of the palace, and I had ample time to do it, I was more and more -rivetted, both in motion and in gaze, by the wonderful scene. Eastward -was the expanse of blue water, widening and having no boundary in -the extreme horizon, and confined every where else between the soft, -green, lovely, and productive shores of Lothian and Fife. Along the -whole visible portion of the waters, no ship was going forth upon -her voyage, but many were cruizing towards the port of Leith by the -combined powers of every thing that enables man to make his way upon -the deep. Northward rose the Calton Hill, ornamented with one of the -best and one of the worst specimens of modern architecture, having a -park of artillery and a picquet of horsemen upon its summit, and its -sides groaning under the weight of a multitude which no man could -count. Sufficiently elevated at one place for throwing its more -elevated objects against the sky, and rapid enough in its slope for -bringing out at whole length the masses of people who occupied it, the -Calton did not conceal either the royal squadron in Leith roads, or -the majestic summits of the remote Grampians,--from which every cloud -and every trace of mist had been brushed away, when I first ascended, -while the strong and peculiar refraction that the atmosphere in such -cases exerts, gave to them only half their distance and double their -height, as if the mountains themselves had raised them from the beds -of their primeval residence, and come near, to behold the splendour -which the Athens had put on, and the glory with which she hoped to be -blessed. Towards the south, Salisbury Craggs and Arthur’s Seat raised -their summits to the mid heaven, and threw their broad shadows over -the valley, into which the beams of light which poured in at the -openings of the majestic wall of rock, seamed the blue shadow as the -lapis lazuli is seamed by gold. The view this way was to me peculiarly -sublime, not only from the great contrast that it formed with every -thing around, and indeed every thing that one could conceive to exist -in the vicinity of a city, but because of its own peculiar and inherent -sublimity, and the wild accompaniments with which it had been decorated -for the occasion. The crags rose rugged and perpendicular, with their -profile dark as night, while standards, and tents, and batteries, -and armed men on foot and on horseback, hung over the wild and airy -steep. A flood of mellow light which came in from behind gave them the -lineaments of giants, and a glory of colouring far exceeding any thing -that limner ever tinted. Then rose the more sublime height of Arthur’s -Seat, thrown back by the vapour which the sun was exhaling from the -dew in the dell between, and having its summit haloed with a glory -of radiant prismatic colours, through which the solitary stranger or -flitting picquet seemed beings of another world. And, as the sun-beams -came and went upon burnished helm or brazen cuirass, the whole seemed -spotted with gold, or inlaid with costly stones. At my feet was the -court of the palace, in which the royal standard was guarded by a -fine body of highlanders, and the palace-gates kept by a goodly array -of the Edinburgh archery, who, though they seemed not to be the least -important part of the spectacle in their own eyes, were yet intent upon -procuring for their favoured fair those situations from which they -would best view the glories of the archers and of the king. - -Before me, the Athens herself clustered her buildings, and shot up her -towers, her spires, and her castles, with a witchery of effect, which -can be equalled by the view of no other British city, and surpassed by -that of the Athens from no other point. When one, for instance, ascends -the top of St. Paul’s, one wonders at the business and bustle that is -around; but the eye is tired with the interminable lines of dull brick, -and the dingy clusters of puny steeples, and smoking chimney-stalks; -while the sound, and the rushing, and the artificial origin of the -whole, make one melancholy with the idea that it will not last. One -should never look down upon a city: the sight is always dingy, and the -view always produces melancholy. - -From the leads whereon I stood, though I was high above the court -of the palace, I was below all the city except that rubbish which -was concealed; and never did the mere sight of houses produce such -an effect upon me. The ground was so magical, and the buildings so -different in form, that the whole seemed as though it had been moulded -by the hands of giants, or commanded into existence by the fiat of a -god; and, in firmness and colour, it was so like the rocks upon which -it rested, and by which it was surrounded, that it looked as though it -had lasted from the beginning of time, and would endure to the end. -Right in front of me, the high street opened at intervals its deep -ravine; upon the summit of a hill, but still, from the great height of -the houses, appearing as if that hill had been cleft in twain, to open -a way from the palace on which I stood to the castle, which, from its -aged rock at the other extremity, looked proudly down as the monarch of -the Athens, seated upon a throne which would out-exist those of all the -monarchs of the nations. Around this were clustered palace and spire, -each upon its terrace, while the spacious bridges, beneath whose arches -the distant Pentland hills and the sky were visible, formed an aërial -path from the grandeur of one place to the grandeur of another. - -There was something so novel, so wildly romantic, and so overpowering, -in all this, that I retired to the most remote and elevated part of -the roof, leaned me against a chimney-stalk, and, forgetting the king, -the procession, the people, and myself, was in one of those reveries, -in which the senses are too much gratified, and the judgment too much -lost for allowing the fancy to sketch, and the memory to notice. “This -is incomprehensibly fine!” were the words which I then ejaculated to -myself; and now that the presence of the picture is gone, and the -recollection such as no mind could retain, I can do nothing more than -repeat them. - -I stood thus absorbed till about mid-day, at which time the flash and -the report of a solitary gun from the royal yacht caught my eye and my -ear, and made me start into recollection. Just then, a cloud of the -most impenetrable darkness had collected behind, or, as it appeared to -me, around the castle, which made the Athens appear as if her magnitude -stretched on into the impenetrable gloom of infinitude. But I had no -time to pursue the train of feeling to which that would have given -rise; for the volleyed cannon--flash upon flash and peal upon peal, and -the huzzaing people--shout upon shout and cheer after cheer, made the -cliffs and mountains ring around me, and the palace rock under my feet, -as though the heavens and the earth had been coming together, and the -Athens had been to be dashed to pieces in the maddening of her own joy. -The ships in the roads first pealed out the tale, and the blue waters -of the Forth were enshrouded in a vesture of silvery smoke. Anon the -batteries upon the Calton took up the tidings; and their roar, all -powerful as it was, was almost drowned in the voices of the thousands -which thronged that romantic hill. In an instant, the same deafening -sounds, and the same gleaming fires, burst away from the Craggs on the -left; and the cannon and the cry continued to call and to answer to -each other from the right hand and from the left, as-- - - ----“Jura answers through her misty shroud, - Back to the joyous Alps, which call to her aloud,” - -till every atom of the air was reverberating with sound, every cliff -and every building returning its echo, the ground reeling to the noise, -the fleecy smoke hanging upon the cliffs like the clouds of heaven, or -settling down till the Athens put on the appearance of a sea, in which -the more elevated buildings and spires seemed islets, and the castle, -with her glaring fires, and her astounding volleys, towered like an -Etna, burning, blazing, and thundering across the deep. What with the -closing of the natural clouds, and the spreading of the artificial -ones, the darkness which even at noon-day had settled over the city was -awfully sublime; even the mass of the castle, large and lofty though -it be, was shrouded in the thick vapour of the sky and of itself, so -that all which the eye could discern, was the flashes of artillery -contending with the flickering of distant lightning, and all that the -ear could hear was the mingled peal and jubilee, in the pauses of which -the voice of the distant thunder was too feeble for being heard. The -darkness borrowed additional sublimity, if indeed that was possible, -from the pure and unclouded light of the sun, which a few straggling -beams that occasionally stole their way as far as the slopes of Arthur -Seat, told me was sleeping upon the plains of Lothian; and the din of -the joy received all the accession of contrast from the stilly silence -which reigned in the deserted halls and desolated villages of that busy -and blooming land. Amid this darkness and din, the royal barge rowed -softly towards the Scottish strand, and the sovereign of these realms -was the first to set his foot upon Scottish ground, while the author -of these pages occupied the very pinnacle of the Scottish palace. The -magistrates of Leith, all tingling and but ill at their ease, stood -shaking and speechless to receive him; but their blushes were a good -deal spared by those grand monopolists of Caledonian loyalty, the -lords president, justice clerk, baron register, and advocate, and that -mighty master of the ceremonies, and that mightier memorialist, (who, -it was hoped, would cut the thing into everlasting brass,) Sir Walter -Scott. But though the monopolizing lords blushed not, they blanched a -little, when they found the eyes of the king turning everywhere with -the same beaming delight upon the people, whose appearance and whose -conduct showed him that Scotland, if not the most polished, was by no -means the least polished jewel of his crown; and the baronet, who haply -was brought there, chiefly from the eclât which his literary renown -would confer upon his less gifted but more official associates, found -perchance that the glory of an author, however high in itself, and -however rewarded, is but a tiny instrument of Royal joy. - -The guardsmen, who very judiciously were chiefly either Scottish -citizens or Scottish soldiers, succeeded, not in keeping order among -their countrymen, but in preventing breaches of it among themselves; -but the _Craggan nan phidiach_,--the Raven of the Rock of Glengarry, -was of too bold spirit, and too bustling wing, to be so restrained. To -prevent accidents, this mighty personage, who had stood up bonnetted, -dirked, and pistolled, at the King’s coronation, to the utter dismay -of the ladies of England, had been sent upon this occasion to keep -watch and ward upon the state-coach; but when the coach had taken its -place in the procession, the chieftain stepped a little way out of his, -bustling through the crowd to give Mac Mhic Alistair Mhor’s welcome; -and it was not till the Lion of England had knitted his brows and -shaken his mane, that the Raven of the Rock flew back to her station. - -Onward moved the procession, through avenues of people, and arches of -triumph,--one of which latter spoke as much as ten volumes upon the -learning of the Athens, and the ignorance of the _mercatores_ of Leith: -“_O felicem diem!_” said that side of the first triumphant arch which -looked towards the Athens; “O happy day!” quoth the one which smiled -upon the lack-Latin lieges of Leith. - -When the procession had cleared the town of Leith, and was moving -gracefully along that broad and beautiful walk, which still keeps -Leith at a respectful and proper distance from the Athens, the first -presentation upon Scottish ground was made to the King--and perhaps -none more honourable in its spirit, or honest in its intention, was -made to him during his whole sojourn. There was presented to George -the Fourth, a _Parliament-cake_,--not such a cake as is gleaned from -the fields of a country, or baked in the oven of a royal burgh, and -thence sent to St. Stephen’s Chapel as a well-leavened waive-offering, -(and from which, by the way, Scotland has got by way of eminence the -name of the _Land of Cakes_,) but something more luscious and learned -still,--a cake of sweet and spicy ginger-bread, stamped with all the -letters of the alphabet, and by combination and consequence, with the -whole learning and literature of the united kingdom. The presentation -alluded to happened thus: Margaret Sibbald, an able-bodied matron -of Fisher-Row, had been induced, through the compound stimulus of -curiosity and loyalty, to leave her home all unbreakfasted, in order -to take her place in the royal procession; Margaret had stored her -ample leathern pouch with a penny-worth of Parliament-cake, in order -to support nature through this praise-worthy work; but Margaret’s -eyes had been so much feasted, that Margaret’s stomach was forgotten. -Seeing that the King wore a hue which she did not consider as the hue -of health, and judging that it might arise from depletion induced by -his rocking upon the waters, she elbowed her way through horsemen, -Highland-men, archer-men, and official men, up to the royal carriage, -and drawing forth her only cake, held it up to his Majesty, expressing -sorrow that his royal countenance was so pale, and assuring him that if -she had had any thing better he would have got it. A forward strippling -of the guards charged Margaret sword in hand, to which Margaret -replied, “Ye wearifu’ thing o’ a labster! Ye hae nae mense, I hae dune -mair for the King than you can either do or help to do; I hae born him -sax bonnie seamen as ere hauled a rope, or handled a cutlass.” It was, -however, no time for prolonged hostilities, and so Margaret was lost in -the crowd, and the guardsman not noticed in the procession. - -Many were the events of the march ere the King arrived at the end of -Picardy-Place, to receive the silver keys of the Athens, and hear the -silvery tones of her chief magistrate; I shall mention only one: The -pawky provost of a burgh of the extreme north, determined to see the -whole, and yet not pay his half-guinea for a seat in one of the booths, -had scrambled to the top of a tree at Greenside-Place, where he hung -rocking like a crow’s nest. As the King approached, the provost swung -himself to one side, waving his bonnet, and screeching his huzza, in -strains which would have scared all the owls in England; and when -the mass and the movement of this loyalty were in full effect, they -proved too mighty for the support, so that the pine and the provost -fell prostrate before the King. Even this was not much heeded: the -procession moved on, and the provost moved off. - -At last the King came to the wicker-gate of the city, the keys were -presented, the speech was spoken, and the crowd in a great measure -melted away, by the majority hurrying away toward the Calton-Hill, -whence they could command a view of the whole during almost a mile of -its march. This desertion fell like cold water upon the official men, -and even the King himself seemed disappointed. - -But the gloom and the disappointment were of no long duration, for no -sooner did he turn the corner into St. Andrew’s-street, than the mass -of shouting and ecstatic people who hung upon the whole beetling side -of the hill, and covered every part of the buildings, came upon him -with a shock of joy and a touch of exultation, which made the cold -state of the monarch give way to the warm feelings of the man. “My God! -that is altogether overpowering!” said he, snatching off his hat and -essaying to join in the cheer, but his voice faltered, and tears, which -were not tears of sorrow, suffused his eyes, and watered his cheeks. - -His reception when he landed had been confined, and the people were too -near for giving vent to their feelings; and the delivering of the keys, -though there was a crowd there because the King halted a little, was -a piece of mummery, about which so reflective a people as the Scotch -cared little; but when the King was discerned in Prince’s Street, when -the living hill-side beheld his approach, and when the assembled nation -reflected that their Monarch was coming in peace to visit them,--it -was then that Scotland welcomed the King, with a welcome which none -that saw or heard it is likely ever to forget. The first shout was -astounding, and it rose and rung till it was answered by voices of joy -over a wide circumference. - -During all this time I had not seen the procession, but I heard of it -from one who was close by the royal person all the time, and whose -character for truth and feeling is recognised as well by the world of -letters as by the world of men. I must confess that, choice and chosen -as was my place, the occupation of it was a pretty severe trial on my -patience; and when I first saw the yellow plumes of the Braidalbanes, -and the tall and majestic form of their leader, issuing from behind the -monument of David Hume, and heard the notes of their bagpipes pealing -“the Campbells are coming,” I had almost wished myself a Highlander, -and in the procession. The King soon arrived at the Palace, had a -hurried interview with some of the officers of state, and then drove -off for Dalkeith-House, there to pause and recover from the fatigue of -the voyage, and the excitement of the procession. - - -THE ILLUMINATION, THE LEVEE AND COURT, AND THE LADIES. - - “Ten thousand tapers shone; ten thousand lords, - And squires, and yeomen, hungry clerks, and churchmen, - Bended the supple knee; ten thousand ladies, - With eyes of love, lit up the nether skies.” - -Although each of these, no doubt, seemed to the parties themselves -of sufficient importance to add to the shelves of literature a new -volume, instead of being confined to a single chapter or section, yet -I am induced to bring the three into juxtaposition, because I shall -thereby preserve the unities,--have a beginning in light, a middle -in somewhat of gruffness, if not of gloom, and an end as glorious -as the congregated beauty of a whole nation, together with divers -importations, could make it. - -It may be thought that the burning of a certain number of candles, the -hanging up of a certain number of coloured lamps, and the displaying -of a few ill-daubed transparencies, could contain no trait of national -character; and that therefore it ought to find no place in these -pages. But there was, perhaps, no one scene during the whole solemnity -which brought out the character of the Scotch more decidedly than the -illumination of Edinburgh upon the evening after that on which the -King landed. The town of Leith had indeed been both very generally -and very finely illuminated on the evening before; but that haughty -spirit of the Athens which makes her bear herself somewhat saucily -toward all her compatriot (or if you will, com-_provosted_) cities -and towns in general, and towards poor Leith in particular,--that -spirit which made them taunt Leith with the translated side of the -inscription, in the morning, made them reckon it high treason against -the majesty of the Athens to look at, or talk of, her illumination in -the evening; and thus, although the thing was no doubt very fine, there -were few to wonder, and still fewer to put that wonder upon record. -When the Athens, however, hung out her physical lamps, the emblems of -her metaphysical light, all came, all saw, and all admired. It was a -novelty to me: the illumination was so general, the streets were so -thronged, and the people were so orderly. No doubt, there were wanting -that profusion of daubed transparencies, and dangling festoons, tagged -with classic mottoes and allusions, ill-quoted and worse applied, which -are found in other places; but here, again, his Majesty would have had -cause to exclaim, that the nation by which he was surrounded were all -ladies and gentlemen. Excepting at the public buildings, the houses -of official persons, the apartments of clubs and societies, and the -houses of a few private individuals, the abode of peer and burgher -were illuminated in the same style, and with the same brilliance. -I waive the details as to who hung up a crown in white lamps, or a -thistle in green and red, or who took up their motto in Latin, in -English, or in Gaelic. I do not even dwell upon the general effect; -for though, on account of the situations in Edinburgh, the state of -the weather, and the zeal of all classes of the people, that was as -fine as possible,--it was the people themselves that were the sight. -Natives and visiters, three hundred thousand of every rank, age, and -sex, thronged the streets to such a degree, that it was difficult in -many of them to get a sight either of the pavement or the carriage-way. -This immense mass put one very much in mind of bees; their noise at -any point was scarcely louder than the hum of those insects, and in -their varied motions they clashed as little with each other. Instead -of brawling and wrangling, which almost invariably take place on such -occasions, the most elegant escaped without a stain, and the most -feeble without a jostle. The accommodation which they afforded each -other in their progress was truly remarkable: When one came to any of -the elevations so frequent in the streets of Edinburgh, one saw nothing -but human beings, thick and reeling as the leaves in an autumnal -whirlwind; and yet, if one chose, one’s progress could be as rapid and -almost as free of interruption as if the street had been deserted. I -did not remark a face in the whole assemblage that did not express -the feeling of being pleased itself, and the desire of communicating -pleasure to all around it. Just as was the case on the day of his -Majesty’s entry, the conduct of the people was the same as if they had -been engaged in a solemn and felicitous act of religious worship. - -While the inhabitants of the Athens and their visiters were thus -rejoicing in the light which themselves had kindled, (a species of joy -which, by the way, is peculiarly congenial to the said Athenians,) they -whispered, as any unknown personage of sufficient size for a monarch -moved through the crowd, that that personage could be none other than -the king himself in disguise. Indeed, I am not sure but a considerable -portion of that decorum which marked Edinburgh upon this occasion was -owing to the apprehension which every body had that the royal eye -might be upon them, without their knowing any thing about it; but -whatever might be the operating principle, whether a sense of decorum, -or national or personal pride, the effect was equally striking, and -the merit perhaps equally great. But still, though the illumination, -especially when the spirit of the people is taken into the account, was -a fine show, still it was only a show, and a show in which the king, or -even the Athens, in her peculiar capacity, took no part, and in which -official men cut no more figure than the common herd. - -With the _levee_ it was otherwise: that was one of the grand acts -for which the king had been invited to Scotland; and it is utterly -impossible to form even an idea of the hopes that were built upon it. -From the very first blush of the business, the regular, thorough-going -tories, (which, in Scotland, mean those who will take any public -employment, and pocket any public money, however improperly or dirtily -got,) fancied that the whole consequence of the land was to be entwined -around their capacious heads, and the whole wealth of it crammed into -their more capacious pockets; and thus, they had given themselves airs, -at which an Englishman would have been perfectly thunderstruck. A very -respectable and very independent proprietor of the county of Fife -told me that, a personage who had acted as tell-tale of their village -during the war, and who, for a long time after the peace, continued -to sell plots (perhaps at a handsome discount) to the crown lawyers -of Scotland, until the ministry put an end to the unavailing traffic, -would occasionally be found pacing over his estate, tasting the soil of -the fields, and noting down what he was to have sown in each of them, -after the king should have put him in possession. - -The people were quite full of stories of this kind; and I have no -doubt that the desire of seeing how these men of high loyalty and -higher hopes would act, was one of the chief causes that brought so -many provincial people to the Athens; and that the humiliation that -these persons met with was, next to the joy at seeing each other happy, -one of the greatest boasts that the whole affair yielded. Without -a previous knowledge of the political system of Scotland,--the way -in which the few vicegerents in the Athens gobble up the loaves and -the fishes, how lesser men over the country snap at the crumbs; and -how they all growl, and worry, and snarl at other folks, it is quite -impossible to form an idea of the insolence by which the little men -of office were actuated. As, however, I shall have to discuss this -matter when I come to treat of the politics of the Athens, (for it is -there that the centre and focus of the system exists,) it would be both -premature and unintelligible to notice them here. Wherefore, I shall -confine myself to what I saw and heard as touching the levee. - -The night which preceded that eventful day was an anxious and unclosing -one to the men of hope and of office, from all parts of Caledonia; -and baron and bailie, parson, provost, and professor, great judge and -small attorney, eloquent advocate and uneloquent scribe,--all that the -land of heath, of herrings, and of black cattle, could produce, was, -with proud but palpitating heart, bedecking and bedizening itself, in -all sorts of dresses, official, courtly, and nondescript, in order -that they might, in seemly array, kiss that Kaaba of all loyal men’s -worship, (and who would not be a loyal man upon such an occasion,) -the hand of a king. Three dukes, the same tale of marquesses, sixteen -earls, a brace of viscounts, twenty-nine barons, a pair of right -honourables, four great officers of state, sixteen judges of the land, -twenty-two who were honourable, and eleven who lengthened the fag end -of the Scottish household, were there. Besides seventy-seven baronets, -twelve members of parliament, thirty-eight lords lieutenant, a hundred -head of provosts, bailies, counsellors, and deacons, “after their -kinds,” with as many parsons, professors, physicians, and pleaders, -as were sufficient to convert, and cultivate, and cure, from plethora -both of person and of purse, the whole British empire, together with -military men, who had fought and who had not fought, proprietors or -kinsmen of the soil, and burgesses, “simple persons,” swelled the -amount to not fewer than two thousand persons, who had to pass in -wonderful procession before the wondering king. When it was considered, -that the whole of this mighty and motley squad, charged with addresses -to the number of nearly a hundred, each more loyal and laboured than -another, had to pass muster, and read, and retire, in the space of -one brief hour, it was apparent that the official men of Scotland -would have to dance about and deliver themselves with somewhat more -of alacrity, and somewhat less of that slow profundity of bowing than -is usually the case. Dreading that the addresses, from the importance -of their contents, and the orthoëpal powers of the readers, would -of themselves have consumed more than a day, it was wisely resolved, -that the persons who were charged with them should continue enceinte -of them till the Monday, upon which day they should be allowed to -deliver themselves before the throne, or behind it in the closet, -according to their several conditions and importance; and thus the -mighty tide of the levee was undisturbed by any prosing from parchment, -and undisconcerted by any uncouthness of provincial speech. The muster -of beast-drawn vehicles was tremendous; and, though the magisterial -equipages were reduced in their number of cattle, those which they -contained never looked so big in their lives as when they were in -progress to the levee, or so little as when they were fairly there. A -grievous mishap befel their worships the under-magistrates of Glasgow: -The ruler of that city, who never bought or sold any thing less than a -bale of cotton or a basket of figs, could not be expected to ride in -the same carriage with the bailies, many of whom were fain to vend a -sixpenny handkerchief, or an ounce of caraway seeds; so two carriages -were prepared, the foremost for his lordship, and the hindermost for -their not-lordships. The provost entered his state-coach, and both -carriages simultaneously sought their places in the line of procession; -the line threaded its way to the Holyrood; the provost alighted with -true magisterial dignity, and the door was opened to let the bailie -train come forth of their wagon. They had vanished! “Whare are my -bailie bodies?” exclaimed the provost; “I knew they were taking a bit -bowl to keep their hearts aboon; but I didna reckon on their gettin’ -fou upon sic an occasion as this!” His lordship, however, was instantly -relieved by a dozen of chairmen, hurrying across the area, while a -well-known voice was bawling from each chair, “Whare’s the right and -honourable lord provost o’ the wast?” It would be endless to recount -all the little accidents of this nature that rippled the swelling -waves of official joy; but it would be unjust not to mention the wig -and staff of Dundee’s principal and vice. The wig of the principal -which, ungainly as it was, was the most wise-looking thing about -him, had been put under the curling irons before day-break, and thus -was burned and cauterized to the lining in sundry places. These had -been skilfully repaired with court plaster of the most glossy black; -and thus, in reply to sundry pityings of the lacerated head of the -burgh, the official man was forced to make it known, that he was of -peace-seeking disposition, and, instead of a broken head, had only got -a burned wig. The staff of the vice was a matter yet more serious. It -had a diamond head, and the wearer, when at home, contrived to poke -it under his left arm so skilfully, that it shone by all the world -like the star of the order of the golden calf, at the button-hole of -some foreign knight. The worshipful gentleman never dreamt that he -would be prevented from bearing this splendid and symbolic staff into -the presence of the King, and thus, in as far as stars were concerned, -vying in magnitude with the Monarch himself; but he was sadly -disappointed, had to leave the sacred cudgel in charge of the cook at -Mackay’s Hotel, and thus grope his way to the royal presence as grim as -a dark lantern. - -Nothing could exceed in breadth of humour, the countenances of many -of Scotland’s important sons, as they came, with eyes and mouth set -wide to worship and to wonder, into the presence-chamber. Not a few -of them, when they raised their “leaden eyes that loved the ground,” -in lack-lustre astonishment, from the drab-coloured drugget which had -been nailed down by Mr. Trotter as fit carpeting for their feet, beheld -more kings than were exhibited to Banquo in the wizard glass. As is -not unfrequent with men whose wits are neither great, nor altogether -at home, not a few of them mistook the right one; and the portly -Sir William Curtis, who was “dressed in tartan sheen,” with a kilt -marvellously scant in its longitude, and dangling a bonnet, in which -was displayed a grey goose feather of the largest size, took the edge -off the loyalty of a full third; while his great grace of Montrose, who -was drudging at the honours of the day, monopolized another, leaving -only thirty-three and one-third per cent. of the loyalty of Scotland -to be inflicted directly upon the King. It is needless to tell how -brief were the salutations: there were two thousand persons who had -to make their entrée, their bow, and their exit, in about a hundred -minutes, which was, as nearly as possible, one second to each act of -each person; and thus, however discordant might be the bearing of the -different _bodies_, the unity of time was admirably preserved. The -ceremony came upon them like an electric shock, or rather they came -upon it as moths come upon the flame of a candle,--a buz, a singe of -the wings, and down they dropt into insignificance. “Hech, Sirs!” said -a brawny yeoman from the kingdom of Fife, as he attempted in vain to -squeeze his minimum of opera hat upon his maximum of skull,--“Hech, -Sirs! but its quick wark this! We might hae gotten a snuff wi’ him at -ony rate;” and, as he strode across the court, and found himself fairly -without the great gate, he fumbled over his head-piece with his paws, -saying, “I’m thankfu’ that it’s upo’ my shouthers after a’!” Those who -attended the civic authorities, who stuck to each other as closely as -if they had been in their council-chambers at home, wore faces of -the most broad and boundless delight; for, of the men of more ample -calibre, the tories looked blank, because they were elbowed and perhaps -outnumbered by the whigs in the presence of the King. Some of the clods -of the valley lost themselves in the long galleries and cold corridors -of the Holyrood; and, after all was over, and the fatigued Monarch had -retired to Dalkeith, a few of them were heard at the windows bawling, -like Sterne’s Starling, “I can’t get out.” So ended the levee; and -the King and the people rested for the sabbath without any thing of -remarkable occurrence. - -On Monday the hearts of the address men were lifted higher than ever; -and, as the rapid and dumb show in which they passed before the King -on Saturday, had taken off the first and deepest blush of their -bashfulness, they went to the court in very masterly style: foremost, -were a hundred ministers of the Scotch kirk, supported by about fifty -ruling elders of the same; who, having met in solemn conclave in the -Canon-gate church, said to be the most composing and soporific in all -Edinburgh, they moved “dark as locusts o’er the land of Nile” across -the sanctuary, not of churchmen but of insolvent debtors, approached -the presence, bowed themselves with more than priestly reverence, and, -by the mouth of David Lamont, D.D., their moderator, poured the honey -and the oil of their adulation into the royal ear. Spirit of John Knox, -wert thou then on the watch! and didst thou mark the silken cords in -which thy degenerate sons were drawn to bend the knee before an earthly -Monarch! Yes, how wouldst thou have exclaimed that the gold of the zeal -of thy church had become dim, and the fine gold of its independence had -changed, if thou hadst heard thy backsliding children tempering their -temporizing address with the miry clay of earthly politics, calling -the King “the bulwark of the church,” and promising to labour, not for -the conversion of sinners, or for the glory of Him whom thou didst -account the only Head of the church, but “to impress upon the people -committed to their care, a high sense of the invaluable blessings -of the glorious and happy constitution?” But, boldest spirit of the -reformation, be not offended,--Think on the difference of the times. -The times in which your earthly lot was cast, were times of wrestling -and of reformation,--they required the heart of steel, the eye that -turns not aside, and the hand which is never slackened; but the lines -of thy followers have fallen in pleasant places, they have become full -of the fatness of the earth, and therefore they recline at their ease -under the refreshing shadow of temporal power. - -After the Scottish kirk, came, laden with wisdom, the members of the -four Scottish universities; and this having been done, the remaining -individuals and classes of men who were charged with courtly sayings, -disburthened themselves in the closet behind the throne; and the paper -thus accumulated, having been deposited for use, this act of the drama -closed, leaving less upon the memory than had been anticipated. - -The monarch having thus opened a levee for the honour of his Scottish -subjects generally, and allowed her official men to drop their honeyed -papers and parchments at the court and in the closet,--having devoted -two whole days to the hard hands of country lairds, and the greasy lips -of parsons and bailies, it was naturally to be concluded, that he would -be pretty well saturated of salutation from the men of Scotland, and -long for the approach of Scottish women, as the traveller, in the sandy -desert, longs for the green spot and the glassy spring. Nor could the -desire have been wholly confined to his majesty. The anxiety of the -Scottish fair was bent, like the bow of Diana when the arrow is drawn -to the barbs; their preparations, positive and negative, for this high -honour, had been long, laborious and self-denying; and they were not -without feeling that four whole days should not have interposed their -twelve-month-looking-lengths between the sight and salutation of their -King. It is true, that in Scotland generally, and in the Athens in -particular, woman, that grand barometer of civilization, has of late -risen many degrees. The time has not long gone by, at which females -were mere beasts of burden in rural affairs, and young girls were in -many places obliged to ply as ferry-boats. I myself have seen half a -score of stout and sinewy Highlanders lying snuffing upon a hillock -of manure, while their wives and daughters were bearing heavy baskets -of the same to the fields, while all that the lords of the creation -condescended to do was to fill the baskets; and I have been--no, I have -not been, I was only offered to be--carried across sundry Highland -rivers, upon the shoulders of the fairest nymphs which adorned their -banks. But the Athens has got the better of all this, and her daughters -have not only reduced the tyranny of their husbands to “flytings” and -frailties, but have learned to pay them back with interest even in -these. Thus the delay which had taken place in consequence of the grand -parade of the men, and the small extra drill of the official men, by no -means tended to lessen the commodity of curtain-lectures. There were -other causes of vexation: the means by which a sufficiency of beauty -had been procured were more precious than permanent; the delay of -hope not only made the heart sick, but tended to pucker the skin, and, -what was more vexatious than all, these careful dames, after they had -trimmed themselves for the royal salute, would submit themselves to the -salutation of no mere man in the interim. Wherefore, if any casualty -had prevented this glorious feast, or even protracted it, the _primum -mobile_ of the city might have stood still, and the Athens might have -been the Athens no more. - -It being the only time during a century and a half, at the least, -when the daughters of Scotia have had the flattering opportunity -of flaunting their trains, flourishing their plumes, bowing in the -presence of Majesty, and, finally, giving their cheeks to the glory -and honour of the royal basial salutation,--and certainly the only -time when a native royal drawing-room has been held in Scotland, since -she had either much wealth or population to display,--it is not to be -wondered at, that it produced corresponding anxiety among the fair. -A random female here and there may, no doubt, have been in the royal -presence, and there may be one or two cheeks which have before been -made happy by the royal impress; but the greater, by far the greater -part of the roses and lilies of Scotland were, up to this happy 21st of -August, 1822, in virgin, but pitiable, ignorance of so much honour. It -is not to be wondered at, then, that the preparations of this eventful -day had their sources remote in the past, and the hopes of the fair -ones groped their way far into the future; and if they had not made -themselves gay upon the occasion, it would have been alien alike to -the honour of their country and the disposition of the sex. Morning, -noon, and night, had accordingly been spent at the mirror, and many a -projection has been squeezed, and furrow smoothed, in order that for -“Scotland’s glory,” and their own, they might appear as splendid, as -gay, and as bewitching as possible, in the presence of their King and -his nobles, and their own admirers. All this was most laudable; and -as the fair ones, with their eyes, their candles, and their mirrors, -literally frightened the reign of “old Night,” they merited forgiveness -though they encouraged a little of that of “Chaos.” - -So much of the fire of Scotland’s moral electricity, moving in such -prime conductors, could not be supposed to confine either itself or its -effects to the earth. Ere grey dawn, the sky wept at the eclipse of so -many of its moons and stars by the radiance of the Venuses and Lunas of -the Athens rising to their culmination; and, as it had not recovered -in the morning, there was somewhat of pains-taking and pouting ere -the coaches and chairs could receive the whole of their delectable -burthens. Still, however, the ceremony was one which could not be put -off, and so the ocean-swell of beauty collected, and nathless the -drizzling rain, poured its eager tide toward the palace. When they -arrived at the entrée-room, some of the colloquies which they held with -each other were not a little amusing. If I could judge from the general -strain of what I heard of them, the kiss--the downright and _bona fide_ -smack at royalty, without any of the leaven even of suspicion in it, -was the thing which pleased them the most. Each was making sure too, -(for there is a wonderful foresight in the women of Scotland as well -as in the men,) that the jealousy which this high honour would excite, -would procure a goodly harvest of future salutation. Some female Humes -(not in name but in nature,) were propounding “sceptical doubts” upon -the subject; and stating, with tears in their eyes, and terror on their -brows, their apprehension, that it would be “but a sham after a’.” - -One great object with the Caledonian fair seemed to be to prevent, as -much as they could, the possibility of the ceremony’s being bungled, -through the youth or inexperience of those who were to apply it. It -had indeed been rumoured that the King hated all lips but such as had -been mellowed by the suns, and mollified by the frosts, of forty -seasons, and that young girls, as smelling of bread and butter, were -peculiarly offensive to the royal organs; whereupon it was said, -that the young maidens of Scotland were enjoined to abstain from the -ceremony altogether, and that the full grown ones abstained from bread -and butter during the whole period of their drill. - -In consequence, while there never was a royal drawing-room so fresh and -new in the dresses and ignorance of the fair attendants, there never -perhaps was one in which the appearance of those attendants themselves -was more sage and matured. Every lonely tower, in a remote glen, -around whose grey battlements the hollow wind had whistled, “Nobody -coming to marry me,” for more returnings of the falling leaf than it -would be seemly to mention, poured forth its tall and time-learned -damsels,--erewhile as grey as its walls, but now as green as the -lichen with which they are incrusted, and as gorgeous as the sun -whose beams find out the old tower the more easily, and gild them the -more copiously, in proportion to the leaflessness of all around. With -those mingled the dowagers and despairers of George’s Square, upon the -thresholds of whose doors, and the graves of whose hopes, the grass had -for more than moons waxed green apace. Nor were there wanting a few -of somewhat more juvenile an aspect; abundance of manœuvring dames, -who had exposed the precious wares of their own manufacture at all the -marts and bazaars in the island; with other languishing and loving -ladies whose number it were difficult to count. - -But, in their zeal to suit the royal taste in the maturity of the -greater part of the muster, they had rather overshot the mark. If the -tale of that taste says sooth, the word “forty,” which is to be found -in every country, and which, in single dignity and desire, is found -more abundantly in Scotland, and especially in the Athens, than in any -country, is preceded by the words “fat and fair,” which, in that land, -and pre-eminently in that city, are among the _desiderata_. Hence, -there perchance was never collected before a pair of royal eyes so many -tall, gaunt, and ungainly figures, and never offered to the salutation -of a pair of royal lips, so many sunken and sinewy cheeks. In their -costumes, they were uncommonly splendid: sweeping trains of white -satin, over spangled robes of various fancies, (in nowise emblematical -of “white without and spotted within,”) were the predominant costumes; -and, in number and in magnitude, the plumes of feathers which waved -and nodded above, might have furnished all the beds, bolsters, and -pillows, to the court of Og, the giant king of Bashan. In the dresses, -too, there were all the advantage of contrast with the wearers: the -one were as fresh and as new as the others were furrowed and old. And -this did not escape the discriminating eye of the King, who, though he -prudently abstained from all commendation on the score of beauty, was -copious on that of cleanliness. - -In their previous estimate of the royal taste, they had not calculated -with their usual wisdom. To the more sage and skinny dames, the appulse -was so slight and so brief, that before the agitation was over, the -impression was gone; and, of the whole that attended, only one little -and lovely girl could boast of a palpable and positive kiss. - -I could not help being struck with the extreme solemnity of the whole. -There was none of that jaunty lightness of step, and that soft and -flexible twining of body, which I have remarked on similar occasions -in other places. The whole moved on, solemn and erect, as though it -had been the Scotch Greys approaching to a charge, or the Forty-second -to a crossing of bayonets. Their features expressed intelligence in -many instances, and pride in all, but I saw not such that I could call -beauty. Their looks were highly characteristic: they were staid even -to demureness, and they sailed toward the state apartment without a -single movement of the eyes, or any thing which could be called a -smile upon the countenance. Never perhaps did so great and so mingled -an assembly of females display so much modesty,--modesty too which -was not the modesty of subdued fire, but that of coal which seemed -capable of resisting all powers of ignition. In the elder ones, the -mouth had a character which no one could overlook: the days of labour -which had been spent in giving plumpness to the lip were, in a great -measure, rendered unavailing, by the force with which the corners of -the mouth were drawn back, and the firmness with which its thread-like -furnishings were brought together. It seemed indeed that they had -been anxious to bring as much of this commodity to the solemnity, -and set it apart as exclusively as possible for the use of their -sovereign; for, fearful of deficiency in plumpness and breadth, they -had laboured to make up for it in an extension of length; and two deep -and decided curves, hedged it in, as though for the time it had been -parenthetical,--set apart to the service of the King, and fortified by -fosse and rampart against all the rest of the world. - -The space which could be allotted to each for the doing of a salutation -was excessively brief; and what with the solemnity of the ladies, -and the scowling of the heavens, it had more the air of a funeral -procession than of a festive assembly. When it was over, or perhaps a -little before, the daughters of Caledonia found out, that though they -could be gorgeous at a drawing-room, they could not be gay. They did -not indeed look like “fishes out of the water;” but they looked like -fishes that had never been in it. It was so novel in itself, and they -had so exhausted themselves in the preparation, that the parade itself -was gloomy; and though it furnished abundant evidence of the existence -of high talents and higher pride among them, it also afforded proof -that time and change would neither be idle nor in haste, if they were -to be thoroughly prepared for gliding and glittering at court. - -Themselves and their male relatives seemed indeed to have been aware of -this,--to have known that there was another and more appropriate arena -for the displaying of them to advantage; and, though it had not been -set forth in the gazette, I could have discovered, from the looks of -speculation that were quietly exchanged in the proximity, and even in -the presence of majesty, that there would be a chapter of the Highland -fling. Those tender telegraphings were as new to me as any part of the -proceedings; and they led me to observe the unique and characteristic -nature of a modern Athenian ogle. - -The Athenian damsels, or dames, as it happens, cannot have so many of -the soft propensities of the flesh as their more plump neighbours -of the south, not having so much flesh wherein the same may be -contained; but, from all that I could discover, they have not, upon -the whole, less of the _mater amoris_ in them; and being a more firm -and substantial matter--more “bred in the bones” as it were, it is -perchance more deep and more durable. Thus, while the dimple of an -English cheek tells its soft tale of love, the jutting angle of -an Athenian cheek-bone hints at the same; and there is often more -amatory demonstration in a single Caledonian wrinkle, than in all the -blushes of the most blooming dame southward of the Tweed. The extreme -vigilance, too, with which the ladies of the Athens watch each other, -and especially the cat-like lurkings which the plain and decaying have -for those who have more of the species and are more in the season of -bloom, gives a wariness to the character of every woman within that -metropolis, and makes even the most accredited and creditable love an -affair of mystery and intrigue. If a gentleman is detected walking with -or speaking civilly to one lady, eyes, from loop-holes of which he -dreams not, are instantly upon him, and the affair is handed about from -coterie to coterie, as a marriage, or as something worse; while, if he -is seen with two or more, he is a Don Juan of the first magnitude, and -they, “poor dear lost things, are--very much to be pitied indeed.” So -far as I know, they have no tendency to pity themselves in such cases; -but this may be the very reason why they have so much of it to spare to -their neighbours. - -This propensity could not be restrained even by the counter-excitation -of the royal presence; and while everybody upon whom the King was -pleased to smile at the shows (and he was graciously pleased to smile -upon a great number) was _pitied_, or, as it might have been, _envied_, -as the object of regal flirtation, those blowsy country sisters and -cousins, whom awkward accountants and spruce scribes kept lumbering -along the streets upon the resting days, were, in the bitterness of the -Athenian anguish, set down as spouses soon to be. - -A handsome young gentleman from the south, whose form promised love, -and whose appearance bespoke the wherewithal to support it, had brought -down his mother and three sisters to amuse themselves, and see the -sights. The matron, though her family were come to what are in the -Athens termed the “years of discretion,” has still as much bloom as -half a score of the six-flight-of-stairs virginity of that city; and, -it so happened, that there was no family resemblance either in form or -features among the young people. The gentleman appeared at one place -with his mother, at another place with one or other of his sisters, -sometimes with two, and sometimes with the whole; and the quantity -of speculation, and wonder, and pity, and lamentation, which his so -appearing excited, would have drained the tears, and exhausted the -words of fifty Jeremiahs. - -All those circumstances are enough, and more than enough, to impose -upon the amatory signals of the Athenians a closeness and caution, -of which those who live in a more free and liberal state of society -can form no conception; and while they thus force the people to put -on the semblance of intrigue where there is no necessity for it, they -at the same time forward the reality of intrigue in cases of which -perhaps scarcely another people would dream; and thus, in consequence -of the very rigour of the external laws of decorum, the Athenians are, -perchance, in fact and in secret, the most indecorous in the whole -island of Great Britain,--the which would lead one fond of scandal and -of similies to conclude, that the white trains and the spangled robes -were not chosen in vain; but I am a novice in both, and therefore I -shall say nothing about the matter. - -The exhibition of faces and forms, and the actual contact with royalty, -not being sufficient either to show off or to satisfy the ladies of -Scotland, they resolved to make the general attack upon the King with -their heels; and, as the Athens contained no hall ample enough for -showing off the whole at once, and further, as the same parties might -be shown off twice under different appellations, once as the planets of -the peerage, and again as the comets of Caledonia, the assembly rooms -in George Street were destined to be twice trodden by the same feet, in -the two enactings of the Peers’ ball, and the Caledonian ball. These -were not consecutive; but it will be no great anachronism to bring them -together. - -The Peers’ ball took place in the assembly rooms, on the evening of -Friday the 23d of August; and, as there the people were more at home, -and more employed than in the merely state ceremonies, its effect was -at once more pleasing and more characteristic. - -The portico of the rooms was tastefully illuminated, the columns -being wreathed, and the pediments outlined, with golden-tinted -lamps,--the emblems of royalty shining in the centre. The pillars in -the ante-room were twined with flowers, surmounted by emblematical -tablets, over which the dome glowed with coloured lights. The principal -room, tea-room, and refectory, were very handsome: the first had a -platform and throne, covered with crimson; the second was ornamented -with paintings, in water-colour; and the third was well stored with -viands. The whole was simple, but there was an air of freshness, -neatness, and good taste about it. At rather an early hour, say eight -o’clock, the elegantes began to pour in, and the people to throng to -the adjoining street, in order to catch a glimpse of their fair forms -and nodding plumes. By nine o’clock, the rooms were completely filled, -and the downy feathers which now reeled to and fro in mid air, with -the mingling darker lines of the other sex, and the sheen of tartan -and gold lace, and ribbon, and star, and spangle, waved “like wave -with crest of sparkling foam.” If Scotland had honour from the general -appearance and conduct of the people upon this occasion, she had -glory in her daughters. If they had not the light heart and laughing -eye of the daughters of the south, they were fully equal to them in -dignity and intellectual beauty. Their dresses were elegant rather than -splendid, and their movements had perhaps as much of stateliness as of -grace. The sustained and chastened joy which they all displayed, and -the keen glance of intellect and national pride, which mingled with -their mirth, threw an interest over it, which is unknown in lands of -lighter skies, and warmer suns. The noblemen and gentlemen were in -every variety of dress (meaning, of course, every elegant variety). -The duke of Hamilton was splendidly attired in the Douglas tartan. -And _Mac Cailin Mhor_ was most conspicuous in the broad bands of the -_Sliabh nan Diarmid_. The chiefs, too, were in their various tartans; -but Sir William appeared in a plain court suit, abandoning the applying -of “the kelt aërial to his Anglian thighs,” with as much care as he -would watch not to let “lignarian chalice, filled with oats, his -orifice approach.” His majesty came at half after nine, just when the -rooms were in the height of their splendour. He was greeted with a -cheer by the people outside, and most respectfully received by those -within. He remained about an hour, and then retired. Immediately after -his departure, the company passed to the supper-room by sections, but -without any distinction of rank. - -I detail not the dancing, of which, by the way, there was much less -than of promenading; but, in general, they were national enough, to -“eschew both waltz and quadrille, and addict themselves to the good old -orthodox fling.” In this their favourite and characteristic movement, -they showed equal firmness of foot and flexture of limb; and though the -room thinned a little upon his majesty’s departure, the evolutions were -continued till full three hours beyond the “keystane o’ night’s black -arch,” and thus, according to every canon of witchery, the charms of -the ladies were overpowering and triumphant. Notwithstanding the great -concourse of people, and the closeness with which they were wedged -together, there was no confusion; and though a guard of cavalry was in -readiness, it was not in the slightest degree required. - -The Caledonian Hunt ball, which followed some evenings afterwards, had -little of novelty in it, further than that the hunters were habited -in a new uniform of royal invention; and that a sort of cage of brass -wire permitted the whole wondering and waltzing charms of Scotland to -view the King; and at the same time prevented them from pressing upon -him with that ardent closeness which had oppressed and overheated the -royal person upon the former occasion. This ball closed what may be -considered as the exhibition of the King to the people of Scotland -generally; and with it, I shall close this long Section. - - -THE PILGRIMAGE, THE FEAST, THE CHURCHING, AND THE THEATRE. - - “March! march! pinks of election.”--OLD SONG. - - “Now the King drinks to Hamlet.”--SHAKSPEARE. - - “The sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with.” - --ISAIAH. - - ----“The play’s the thing - Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the King.”--SHAKSPEARE. - -In the preceding Sections of this Chapter, I have given a skeleton -of all those acts of the royal drama, in which the whole people of -Scotland were supposed to take a part, and in which the Athens had no -farther peculiar concern than as her locality furnished the scene, and -the pride of her leading men (and women) thrust them forward among the -actors. In this Section I shall have to notice those doings of which -I have just cited the titles, and which may be considered as more -particularly expressing the spirit, or, if you will, displaying the -form of the Athens herself. In treating of these, I shall be able to be -more brief, not because they ought to be considered as at all inferior -in interest, but because, under other forms and titles, they will have -again to come under review. - -The pilgrimage from the Holyrood to the castle, and by Princes -Street back to the Holyrood, seemed, to judge from the state of the -weather, to be peculiarly alarming or offensive to the “prince of the -power of the air,” as well as to the monarch of the British isles. -In all the former doings there had been something beyond the mere -parading in the street. The procession from Leith was a matter of -necessity, and furthermore it was exceedingly novel and interesting -in itself; the levee, the court, and the drawing-room, were part of -the usual machinery of the state; the court before the throne, and -the closet behind, for the receipt of addresses, “according to their -generations,” were what the addressing parties could not have been -happy without, and though these had been disappointed of the honours -and rewards which they had fondly expected would result at the time, -yet they fondly hoped that they had “done a do” which would lead to -great things in the sequel; and even the dances had brought folks -together, and might also have their fruits thereafter; but that the -King should be drawn along the whole length of the Cannon-gate and -High Street, work his way through the ugly gates and awkward passages -to the half-moon battery of the castle, then pull off his hat, give -three cheers in concert with the bawlings of the crowd, and then go -back to Holyrood by a more circuitous route, was so profound a piece -of wisdom,--so much a masterstroke of the good taste of the Great -Unknown, and the sage politics of the Athenian tories, as to be by -much too deep even for royal comprehension. It seemed too, that none -of those counsellors which the King had taken with him from England -could fathom its profundity. Sir William Curtis indeed pleaded the -lord mayor of London’s pilgrimages to Kew and Rochester Bridge, as -being precedents exactly in point; but those who knew the etiquette -of courts better, scouted all precedents which could originate within -Temple Bar,--partly, because they originate with those who arrogate to -themselves the power of closing that gaping portal against the King, -and, partly, because nothing possessed in the city is at all acceptable -but its money. The King himself scouted the pilgrimage as a piece of -idle foolery: declared, that he had seen the assembled people in his -progress to the palace; that he had received the noblemen, gentlemen, -official men, and addressing men, at levees and courts; that he had -sustained a general attack of the ladies at the drawing-room, and -sundry particular attacks at the dances; and that, if his Scottish -subjects were not yet satisfied with gazing at him, he would hold other -levees and other drawing-rooms, till the humblest boors, burghers, and -baillies, with their wives, should pass muster before him, provided it -were done as a King ought to do such things, in his state apartments at -Holyrood; but, that to have him shown along the streets, as they would -show an elephant or a prize ox, would be a degradation both to himself -and his subjects. Having, as was said, expressed himself thus, he sped -away for Dalkeith with even more than wonted alacrity, wishing that he -could be permitted to spend his days in a way somewhat more agreeable -to good sense and his own inclinations. - -The pilgrimage had, however, been resolved on, and those bodies which -it was judged expedient that the King should wonder at, in their -collective capacities, had clubbed their half-guineas, and erected -their booths along the whole line of the High Street; and as all this -had been done without consulting the King, it was resolved to _boo_ and -beseech him into compliance. The King, who had previously known the -persevering nature of the political “seekers” of the Athens, judged -that the easiest way would be to comply with their request, although, -during the whole pilgrimage, I thought he appeared to feel that what -his politeness had made him content to do, could add nothing to his -kingly dignity. - -By this time I had become so little apprehensive of arrowless bows, -and dirks never intended to be unsheathed, and so much accustomed to -tartans and tails, that I pushed myself into the very centre of the -procession; and as there was nothing better I could do, I contrived, by -putting a bold face upon it, and huzzaing, as well to demonstrate my -loyalty as to keep myself warm in the rain, to proceed to the rampart -of the half-moon battery, close by the side of the King. - -As this was the occasion upon which the _people_ of the Athens were to -make their nearest approach to their Sovereign, the preparations for -it were correspondingly general. Notwithstanding the unpropitiousness -of the morning, the streets, booths, windows, and house-tops, were -thronged at an early hour. The members of all the trades, corporations, -and friendly societies, came pressing to the line of the progression -by about eleven, and formed a double line for the progress, each -well-dressed, and armed with a white wand; behind them, in varied -phalanx, was that part of the _posse comitatus_ which could not afford -to pay for windows or seats, and here and there stood a special -constable, or Fifeshire yeoman, mounted. Outside, the ten-storied -houses of the High Street were tapestried with human faces; and to -prevent disturbance, all the cross-streets were filled by cavalry. -About one, the procession began to form in the area of Holyrood, and -the progress commenced a little after two. The procession was formed of -nearly the same individuals who composed that on the King’s landing, -and they held nearly the same places. There was one addition, however, -which excited a good deal of interest: the ancient regalia of Scotland, -the _crown_, said to have been made for the Bruce and thus doubly dear -as a national relic, and the sceptre and sword of state. The regalia -were borne immediately in front of the royal carriage. First, the sword -of state, borne by the Earl of Morton, in lord-lieutenant’s uniform; -then the Sceptre, by the Hon. John Morton Stuart, second son to the -Earl of Moray; and last, the crown, by the Duke of Hamilton, in right -of the Earldom of Angus. - -During the whole progress along the High-Street it rained, and thus -the spectacle was a good deal injured; but still, the immense crowd of -people, their orderly conduct, their happy faces, the immense height at -which some of them were posted, the gorgeous array of the cavalcade, -and, as much as any thing, the antique grandeur of the street, had a -fine effect. The King was every where greeted by shoutings, not loud, -but sustained; and he conducted himself with dignity. Next to the King, -the object of attention was the Duke of Hamilton, who was cheered along -the whole line, partly on his own account, and partly from his carrying -the ancient symbol of Scottish independence. It was well that the first -time that symbol was borne publicly in the streets of the Scottish -capital, after having been missing for a century, should have been in -the hands of a nobleman who feels for, and supports the remnant of that -independence. The robes of the Lord Lyon were so fine, and his coronet -so showy, that he was by many of the people mistaken for the King; nor -did the beautiful black barb which bore the Knight Mareschal want his -due share of admiration. - -Upon the King’s leaving the Cannon-gate, and passing the building -where, in English, in Latin, and in Greek, is recorded the escape of -John Knox from assassination, several buxom and well-dressed damsels -scattered flowers in the street, the music in the mean time playing the -King’s Anthem. The Tron-kirk and St. Giles’ successively tingled their -bells, and every thing demonstrated the satisfaction of the people. The -_bodies_ which had their booths about St. Giles’ now did reverence, -and lifted their voices just as his Majesty was passing over the spot -which long groaned beneath the mass of the Heart of Mid-Lothian. When -the King had arrived at the Castle-Hill, the procession turned aside, -and he passed between the assembled _counties_, who were very fervent -in their demonstrations of joy. He alighted on a platform covered with -crimson, received the keys from the Governor, returned them, walked -over the draw-bridge with a few of his train, was received there by -the grenadiers of the 66th, entered his carriage, (all his attendants -on foot,) and drove to the Half-Moon battery, where, from a platform -erected for the occasion, it was hoped that he would have enjoyed a -_coup-d’œil_ of the whole loyalty and beauty of Edinburgh. - -The day, however, was very unfavourable, a fog shrouded the city, -and it rained heavily; still, the King stood up, waved his hat, and -spoke to the people, while the cannon from the lower batteries of the -Castle, and from the Calton-Hill, and Salisbury Craggs, told the news. -Dark as was the scene, it was most sublime. Through one opening of the -clouds, one could catch a glimpse of Arthur’s Seat; through another, -the smoke of a cannon from the Craggs, and through a third, some tower -or turret of the city. Among these, by the way, the finest is the -monument erected in St. Andrew’s-Square, to the late Lord Melville. -It is a fluted Doric column, with a rich base and capital, and most -appropriately surmounted by a bee-hive, in testimony, doubtless, of -the countless friends and relatives for whom the noble lord had the -means of providing. When the King had escaped from the pleasure of this -inspection, he filed off for Dalkeith-House, and the _pecus_, who had -been ducked and delighted, retired to evaporate the external moisture -by moisture within. The _plebs_ of different places have different -modes of expressing their joy or their grief; those of the Athens, -whatever be their rank or denomination, and whether in weal or in woe, -close the most social as well as the most sad of their exhibitions, by -pouring out a drink-offering, and pouring it out abundantly. - -I must now say something of that act of the royal drama in which the -official and loyal men of Scotland gave, before the King, ocular -demonstration of how substantially they could eat, and how copiously -they could drink. Eating and drinking are, in all civilized countries, -and more especially, perhaps, in the British dominions, so closely -allied with loyalty, that the bason and the bowl would perhaps be its -most appropriate symbols. Corporations have ever been pre-eminent for -those demonstrations of support to the throne; and as the Athenian -corporation is pre-eminent among corporations in the northern part of -this island, so the feastings of that corporation have ever been the -fullest and the fattest. - -A feast of the corporation of the Athens is a thing altogether -different from a feast of the corporation of London. In both places -it is, no doubt, more sentient than sentimental; and the belly must -be put to sleep ere the soul be awakened to heroic deeds; but a feast -of the corporation of London is, notwithstanding all its abundance, a -merely plebeian thing,--it emanates from the people, is partaken of by -the people, and if royal or courtly persons be there, they are in the -humble attitude of guests. It is a matter, in short, not only different -from, but in opposition to, those cold collations which obtain in the -kingly circles; and it is calculated to inspire the people more with -sentiments of independence, and a consciousness of their own worth, -than with that bowing down of the honour for the sake of rising in -office, and that beggaring of the heart for the sake of filling the -purse with the gains of office, which invariably accompany banquets of -exclusive loyalty. The feastings of the Athenian corporation, on the -other hand, are feastings which the people do not originate, and of -which they are not allowed to partake. They are of two kinds,--which -may be distinguished as well as characterized by the two epithets -of “dinners of the flagon,” and “dinners of the scrip;” the former -having reference to nothing else than the filling of the belly, the -latter having an ultimate view to the replenishing of the purse. The -feast of the flagon is by much the more ancient; it is characteristic -of the whole genus of corporation men; and it is because they have a -much greater propensity to feed the flesh than either to cultivate -or to exercise the understanding, that corporations are every where -denominated _bodies_,--as much as to say, that though they may have -souls, these are not worth taking into the account. In ancient times, -when kings held their regular courts in Scotland, and when these -eclipsed all that could be done by the delegated moons of the Athenian -corporation, that corporation had the same leaning toward the people -which other corporations near the seat of royalty are supposed to -possess, and in those days the feast of the flagon was almost the only -one known to the corporation men of the Athens. Now, however, as the -royal household in Scotland has become a mere cipher, and since the -second-hand vessels into which the delegation of the royal authority -has been poured have become such as not easily to be contaminated -by any association, the feasts of the scrip--a sort of clubbing of -stomachs and of tongues among all the Attic worthies, have come into -use, more and more in proportion as the times have been more and more -trying and troublesome, and the price of the expression of loyalty -has been enhanced, upon the ground of its alleged scarcity;--since -this has been the case, a complete separation has taken place even -in the feasts of the flagon, between the corporated bodies and the -uncorporated spirits of the Athens; and in this the “bodies” have -found ample compensation, in the greater frequency of their own -peculiar gastronomizings, as well as in the tagging of themselves -to the tails of the Lord-President, the Lord-Advocate, and the Lord -knows who--keeper for the time being of the secret influence of -Scotland,--who at all times form the tripod upon which the incense-pot -of Scottish loyalty is sustained. - -No better idea of the nature and occasions of the feasts of the -flagon can be given than the well-known one of the bell-rope of the -Tron Kirk. For many years, a bell, which had been carefully cracked -lest the sound of it should disturb the official men, whose evening -retreats were deeply buried in the different closes, was tolled at the -tenth hour of every night to warn the populace from the streets, for -fear they should interrupt the march of that puissant corps of the -city-guard, who paraded the streets after that hour with bandy legs -and battle-axes, to conduct such of the lieges as could afford to pay -for it to any place of amusement they had a mind to visit. Nightly -exercise had worn the rope by which this bell was put in motion: it -broke one evening, and fell upon the head of a bailie who was passing, -rebounded from that without doing any damage, but floored an Athenian -damsel who was under his worship’s protection. This was, of course, -not to be borne; wherefore, a council was summoned, and a feast of the -flagon ordered; and when they had made themselves happy, they resolved -to adjourn till that day se’nnight, at which time they were to meet -and feast again, and receive estimates as to the expense of purchasing -a new rope and of splicing the old one. Having dined a second time, -they read the estimates, which were half-a-crown for the new rope, and -eighteen pence for splicing the old. A matter of so much importance -could not be settled at one meeting of council; wherefore, a second -adjournment and a third dinner were resolved upon. After that third -dinner, the tavern-bill, thirty-three pounds, six shillings, and -eight pence, for each of the three dinners, and the two estimates as -aforesaid, were laid upon the table. The treasurer of the city was -ordered first to pay the tavern-bill, and then to give orders that -the old rope should be spliced, because that would be a saving of -the public revenue, of which as faithful stewards, they ought to be -provident. The feasts of the scrip, again, are different,--bearing -a great resemblance to those associations of placemen, parsons, and -public stipendiaries, who from time to time meet all over the country, -and spend the price of a dinner with the same intention, and to the -same effect, that a farmer sprinkles grain in the furrows of his -field,--that in due time it may yield an abundant increase. During the -war, no sooner was a victory heard of, than away flew those supporters -of the Crown to a tavern, bumpered and bawled, till their loyalty and -every thing else appeared double, and then trotted off to beg a share -of the honour and emolument. If a tax or a scarcity pressed sore upon -the people, those persons were at their dining again, partly with a -view of diminishing the quantity of provision that might fall into the -hands of the enemy; partly because themselves are ever more courageous -in their cups; and partly because a report of their doings at a dinner -would sound much better than a report of their doings any where else. - -Men who had thus from time immemorial rested not only their civic -and their political importance, but almost their civic and political -existence, upon their capacity for dining, in whom it was most likely -the greatest wisdom to do so, could not be expected to let his Majesty -eat his venison and drink his _Glenlivet_ (which unfortunately had -been both furnished by a Whig) at his ease in Dalkeith-House, but -would needs have him see with his own eyes with what zeal they could -cut into a buttock of beef, and with what alacrity they could drain -a goblet of wine, for the glory and the establishment of his throne. -Accordingly, as the following Sunday would be a day of rest, the civic -and other authorities in the Athens resolved that a feast of fat things -should be furnished forth in the great hall of the Athenian Parliament -House, upon Saturday the 24th of August. In preparing the hall for -this occasion, not only had the whole of the Athens been spoiled of -its decorations, but they had been forced to borrow largely at all the -loyal houses in the vicinity. And as it was in old times the custom for -every guest at the humbler Scottish parties to be provided with his -own spoon, his own knife, and his own pair of five-pronged forks, so -upon the present occasion it might be said, that each noble or loyal -visiter lent his ice-pail or his pepper-box. This hall, which is as it -were the vital principle of the Athens, the place where the tongues -of all her speakers are loosed, the pockets of all her quibblers -filled, the curiosity of all her gossips gratified, and the eyes and -wishes of all her fair directed--was made more gay than ordinary for -the occasion; and in the selection of guests, so far as that could be -controlled, care was taken that none should be present who could in any -wise eclipse in wisdom, or in elegance, the loyal lords of Scotland and -of the Athens. Feasting, however motley and contrasted the feasters, -is not a subject to be written about, but, as is perhaps the case with -music and with painting, it is a mere matter of temporary sensation. -Still, however, those who know the strange materials out of which -an Athenian corporation is formed, (and I shall tell those who do -not know by and by,) can easily conceive what an ungainly breadth of -delight the lower extremities of that corporation would feel in being -allowed to gorge themselves till their buttons were starting again, -in the very presence of the King. It was pleasing for them, too, to -hear the notes of flutes and fiddles issuing from those crypts and -holes about the hall whence no sounds are accustomed to issue but the -dronings of the law. The King, with his selected (I am not bound to -say select) guests, had a sort of line of partition, but all “below -the salt,” there seemed to be no law of aggregation. The man who had -fought at almost every degree of the earth’s circumference sat in close -juxtaposition with him who had warred merely with words; he who had -done what in him lay to pull down the glory of the old Athens, was -amid those who would copy that glory for the new; the sinecurist was -at the very ear of him by whom all sinecures are denounced; he who had -ploughed the wave was companion to him who had only tilled the ground; -and the peer and the bailie were on the most friendly footing. Nor was -the varied _status_ in life and expression of countenance, the only -thing which gave richness to the harmony. The sober blush of the heads -of the Kirk, and the sombre gowns of the Edinburgh magistrates, made a -fine contrast with the brightness of stars and ribbons, and epaulettes -and lace, and the mingling colours of the Celtic chiefs. There were not -many in the Highland garb: the Earl of Fife, Sir Even Mac Gregor, and -the Macdonald, were the only three that fell under my inspection; and -from the number of uniforms that every where predominated, the party -had a good deal of a military air. - -In the arrangements too, the senses of the civic authorities, which are -not upon any occasion very great, appeared to be a little bewildered; -for there was no page to carry a bumper from the royal cup to the -Mordecais “whom the King delighted to honour.” - -The only peculiarity of the feast, apart from the number and variety -of the guests, was the _reddendo_ of William Howison Craufurd, of -Braehead, who came with a basin and water, that his majesty might wash -his hands immediately after he had satisfied himself of the dainties -before him. There was a certain knot of persons who struck me as being -determined to monopolize the whole attention of the King; and, upon the -present occasion, two awkward boys, one a son and the other a nephew of -the Great Unknown, assisted the laird of Braehead in carrying the basin -and ewer, but they came and went unheeded. The tradition upon which -this service of the basin is founded, is worth repeating. - -All the Jameses who lived and died kings of Scotland were fond of being -their own spies; and for this purpose, as well as for other purposes, -they were in the habit of travelling the country disguised and alone; -upon which occasions their doings had more of love or of war in them, -according to the disposition of the royal incognito. The rambles, and -amours, and songs, of James V. are well known, and so are some of the -brawls and battles of James II., not the second of England, who fought -by mercenaries for the purpose of slavery, but the second of Scotland, -who occasionally fought in prize battles with his subjects, by way of -experiment as to whether the sinews of a man or a monarch were the -better knit. - -Upon one occasion, a gang of gypsies assailed him at Cramond, a few -miles west of Edinburgh; and, though he fought long and desperately, he -was beaten down. A ploughman, of the name of Howison, who was threshing -in a barn not far off, heard the noise, ran toward the place, and -seeing one man assailed, down, and all but defeated, by so many, began -to belabour the gypsies with his flail; and, having great strength -and skill at his weapon, soon put the gypsies to flight, lifted up -the King, carried him to his cottage, presented him with a towel and -water to remove the consequences of the fray, and then, declaring -that himself was “master there,” set the stranger at the head of his -humble board. “If you will call at the castle of Edinburgh,” said the -stranger, “and ask for Jamie Stuart, I will be glad to return your -hospitality.” “My hospitality,” said the farmer, “is nae gryte things -in itself; and it was gien without ony thought o’ a return, just as nae -doot you wad hae done to me in the same tacking; but I am obliged to -you for your offer, and wad like to see the castle at ony rate. The -King is a queer man, they say, and has queer things about him.” The -stranger upon this took his departure; and the rustic was well pleased -with the idea that he would get a sight of the inside of that strong -and majestic pile, of which he had so long admired the exterior. - -A few days afterwards he repaired to the castle, inquired for “ane -Jamie Stuart, a stout gude-lookin chield, that could lick a dozen o’ -gypsies, but not a score,” was admitted, and ushered into an apartment, -the splendour of whose furniture, and the number of whose company, -bewildered him not a little. At last, however, he recognised his old -guest Jamie Stuart, went up to him, shook him heartily by the hand, -inquired how he did, and expressed a very earnest wish to see the King, -if such an honour was at all possible for a man of his condition. -“The King is present now,” said Jamie Stuart, “and if you look round, -you will easily know him, for all the rest are bareheaded.” “Then, -I’m thinkin’ it maun either be you or me,” said Howison, pulling off -his bonnet, which till then his astonishment had prevented him from -thinking of; “and, as our acquaintance has begun by my fighting for -you, I had better keep to that when you need it, and let you keep to -bein’ King.” “Then, as you are so true and so trusty,” replied the -monarch, “you shall ride home the laird of Braehead.” “I like that -better than twa kingdoms,” said Howison, “but I canno’ accept o’ sae -much even frae your majesty, without gien’ something for’t.” “Well, -then,” said the King, “as long as we are kings of Scotland and lairds -of Braehead, let you and your’s present to me and mine, a basin and -towel to wash our hands, whenever we ask for it.” - -This was the only occurrence which took place to break the dull -activity of the dinner. But when the cup circulated, a ceremony was -performed which delighted the corporation-men of the Athens, and -made the other corporation-men all over Scotland sad through sore -disappointment. The chief magistrate of Edinburgh, who had taken his -dinner as plain Mr. William Arbuthnot, took his drink as Sir William -Arbuthnot, Knight Baronet of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and -Ireland,--the knighthood, as was alleged, having been, for the want -of a sword, inflicted by that much more appropriate weapon, a large -carving-knife, and the baronetage having subsequently issued from the -patent office in the usual form, and for the usual fee. All this having -been done, the King retired, and the corporation-men kept up the feast, -though not so long or so heartily but that all the rest finally went to -their homes _more sober than a judge_. - -After the King had witnessed the devotedness of the Athenian -authorities at the table, it was proper that he should see the devotion -of the people in the church; and here again was one of those scenes -which struck me, and must have struck him, very forcibly, as to the -difference of a free people, and fawning courtiers, corporation fools, -and party slaves. - -Becoming preparations having been made, and the King having been -furnished with a perspective sketch of the church, and a written -programme of the service, it was agreed that the Very Reverend David -Lamont, D.D., Moderator and Spiritual Head upon Earth of the Kirk of -Scotland, should preach before him, in the name and stead of all his -willing and worshipping brethren, while the “men,” the “leaders,” and -the people, should demean themselves with that decorum, which the day, -the service, and the occasion required. - -When the services of the Scottish kirk are performed in a becoming -manner, there is a feeling, a sublimity, and a heavenliness about them, -of which one who considers only their simple and unadorned structure -could form no adequate idea; and when I observed the still and unbroken -solemnity of the service, and the effect which it obviously had, not -only upon those who are accustomed to it, but upon those strangers -who, in whatever predilection they had for one religion more than -another, were wedded to the more artificial and gaudy ritual of another -church--a church which had been at enmity with the Scottish kirk from -the beginning, and which, in dislike to the system of sober equality -among the Scottish clergy, and the democratic nature of their church -establishment, have attempted to hold up their form of worship as cold, -meagre, incapable of stirring up devotion in the hearts of men, and, -by consequence, not so gratifying to the Almighty as the more costly -and complicated ceremonial of others,--I could not help believing that, -of all forms of religion, the simplest is decidedly the best, and that -if the object of the propagators of Christianity was nothing but the -cultivation of the minds and the improvement of the morals of society, -they would carefully avoid all artifice and all show. Those, indeed, -who have considered the correspondence that exists between the forms -of religious worship, and the intellectual culture of the great body -of the people, cannot have failed to observe, that pompous shows and -gaudy ceremonies have ever been the concomitants of general ignorance -and superstition, and that a plain and unadorned system of worship, has -uniformly been characteristic of an intelligent people. - -Scotland is an eminent example of this; and whoever takes the -trouble to investigate the structure of Scottish society will, to a -certainty, find that for half their virtues, and more than half their -information, they are indebted to the presbyterian kirk. Nor is it by -any means difficult to find out the reason: A religion of shows and of -sounds,--of mummeries and of music,--must ever be a religion of the -senses. How gaudy soever the trappings, and how fine soever the music, -they can afford nothing more than a gratification of the senses at the -time. Forms cannot exist vividly but in matter, and when the string -of an instrument ceases to vibrate on the ear, the pleasure which it -affords, however sweet or however delightful, is at an end: they enter -not into reflection; they stimulate not the more rational and permanent -faculties of the mind; and, though they may be made to influence, and -influence powerfully, the passions, while they last, they leave no -lesson which can be useful as a general rule of life. Hence, though the -churches of Scotland be, compared with those of England, rude in the -extreme; though the sacred music of Scotland be often the untutored -attempt of nature, without the aid of flutes, hautboys, and violins, as -in the poorer churches of England, or the solemn notes of the organ, -as in the richer ones; and though the prayers of the Scottish preacher -are generally couched in terms less stately and sublime than those -of the service-book of the English church, yet we have the clearest -proof that can be given of the superior efficacy of the Scottish mode -of worship, in the superior veneration which the people of Scotland, -without any hope or even possibility of earthly reward from it, pay -to the rites and ordinances of religion, and especially to that most -beneficial of all religious institutions, the setting apart of the -sabbath as a day of calm tranquillity and holy meditation. - -I know not whether the Author of these pages, or the Sovereign of these -realms, was the more delighted with the calm, sustained, and religious -air of the people of the Athens and of Scotland, as they both proceeded -from the palace of the Holyrood to the High Kirk, on the morning of -Sunday, the 25th of August. A countless multitude thronged the street, -and filled the windows and house-tops; they were habited in the neatest -and cleanest manner; and their profound silence formed a wonderful -contrast to the noise of their mirth upon the former occasions. There -was not a cheer, a shout, or even a whisper; but, as the King passed -along, the men lifted their hats, and the whole passed with the most -sustained but respectful reverence. They appeared to respect their -King, but to respect him less than they did the institutions of -their God, and the simple sublimity of that religion which their own -perseverance, faith, and courage, had gained them, in spite of the -efforts of courtiers and kings, by whom its integrity, and even its -existence, were menaced. - -The extreme decorum of the people upon this day was the more -creditable, that it had been arranged by none of the authorities; and -those who formed the mass of the spectators were chiefly such as, on -account of their distances or their pursuits, could not obtain a sight -of their monarch upon any other day. - -In the crowd I could distinguish a number, who, from their substantial -blue garments, their broad bonnets, their lank uncut hair, their great -staves, and their shoes dirty, as from a long journey, seemed to be -true whigs of the covenant, who looked upon the descendant of Brunswick -as a chosen one of Heaven’s appointment, whose ancestors had been -the means of preventing that civil and religious slavery which had -threatened them in 1715 and 1745. - -As seemed to be the case with all parts of the ceremony which were left -to the awkward and inexperienced official men of the Athens, the King’s -accommodation, or at least his attendance in church, was by no means -what it ought to have been. He had brought a hundred pounds to give to -the poor, and he had some difficulty in getting it disposed of; and, -delighted with the unassisted vocal music, which was really very good, -he wished to join in the psalm, but he was unacquainted with the book, -and there was nobody to point out the place for him. Still, judging -from appearance as well as from all that I could hear afterwards, the -King was better pleased with the stillness and solemnity of the Sunday -than he had been with the shows of the other days. One reason of this -no doubt was, that, on the Sunday, the King was not so belumbered by -the aspiring loyalists thrusting themselves not only between him and -the people, but between him and his own ease, comfort, and pleasure, -as they had done in all those acts of the drama, of which themselves -formed a leading or conspicuous part; and, as he had formerly expressed -his high approbation of the appearance, and, which sounded more strange -in the ears of a southern visitor, of the cleanliness of the Scottish -people, he had an equal opportunity of complimenting them upon their -decorum. - -After the King had paraded, and dined, and heard sermon, there remained -no further lion of Athens to afflict him but the theatre; which was -arranged for his reception, as well as an Athenian theatre could be -expected to be arranged for such a purpose, on the evening of Friday, -the 27th of August. - -The people of the Athens never have been able, and probably never will -be able, to support a respectable theatrical establishment. The genius -of the Scottish people generally is not theatrical. There are still -many sects of religionists among them by whom the stage is denounced as -a “tabernacle of Satan.” This is by no means confined to the provinces, -or to the more austere or fanatical classes of dissenters; for, at the -time when “I, and the King,” visited the Athens, her celebrated, and -most deservedly-celebrated preacher, of the presbyterian establishment, -was denouncing the sinfulness of stage-plays, both from the pulpit -and the press; and though some of the courtly persons whom fashion -had induced to became churchwardens or elders of his congregation, -threatened to rebuke or leave him, because, in the true spirit of John -Knox, he had preached a homily on kingly duties, in which there was not -much of flattery, while the King was in the Athens, yet they let him -denounce the theatre as he pleased. - -The more aspiring cast of the Athenians lay claim to very superlative -taste in theatrical matters, as indeed they do in every thing; and -hence, they pretend that they do not patronise the theatre, because -they cannot find a company of players, who come at all up to their -standard of histrionic perfection; and they appeal for proof to the -fact, that when any of the grand stars or comets of the London boards -come to them for a night or two, they throng the theatre with their -persons, and threaten to break it down with their plaudits. All this, -however, proves nothing, but that they are unable to support a theatre, -and that the crowding to see a strange actor for a night or two arises -not from taste but from curiosity. The fact is, that, though England -has produced the very best dramatic poet that ever lived, and some -of the best dramatic performers, yet that the drama, as a matter of -sentiment and feeling, and, as it were, of constitutional necessity, -does not tally with the spirit even of the English people; and, as the -Scotch have all the business habits of the English, together with a -much greater degree of starchedness of character, and incapability of -purse, the theatre cannot possibly flourish among them. - -The London theatres, excepting in the case of occasional and accidental -runs upon a particular piece, or a particular actor, are uniformly -miserable speculations for the proprietors; and it will be found, -that even the poor support which the theatres in London get, is given -them, not by the people of London so much as by that vast concourse -of strangers who feel at a loss how to spend their evenings. Before -the people, either of the Athens, or of any other part of the British -dominions, can become theatrical, they must have a little more -relaxation from hard labour than they can at present command. The -national debt, and the immense public establishments, are the real -causes why there are not only no Shakspeares now, but why the heroes -of the old Shakspeare have given place to the wooden or real horses of -a more buffooning race. The people must not only work, but work hard, -during the live-long day; and when they have an hour which they can -snatch from the abridged civilities of social life, for the purpose of -looking at a theatrical exhibition, they very naturally prefer that -which costs them no labour of thought, and which makes them laugh, -to that which would impose upon them fatigue of the mind in addition -to fatigue of the body. To say, therefore, that the Athens does not -support the theatre, because she cannot find a _corps dramatique_ that -comes up to her taste, has no surer a foundation than any other of -those airy structures which she builds as the monuments of her glory. -None of the fine arts, as a matter of abstract study and speculation, -and apart from its contributing to the general comforts of life, can -ever prosper in such a state of society as that of England at the -present day; and if they languish in the British metropolis, where -there is the greatest abundance both of money and of idle people, what -must they do among a people who are comparatively so poor and so -plodding as those of the Athens? If a London merchant, who goes to his -place of business at one, and leaves it at three, does not encourage -the drama, and the other fine arts; what can be expected from an -Athenian special pleader, who drudges at Stair and Erskine, and thumbs -Morison’s Dictionary of Decisions, from grey dawn to dark midnight, -except during the hours that he is occupied in gossiping in the large -hall of the parliament-house, or wrangling in the little courts, and -less niches? It is true, that Mr. Clark, now Lord Eldin, could adorn -his brief with drawings, even in those places,--that the Unknown, who -is only a copying machine in his official capacity, can spin a chapter, -or correct a proof sheet,--and that Jeffery has sometimes been caught -writing an article for the Edinburgh Review, during the time that some -long-winded proser was darkening the case on the other side; but still -all this is done more as matter of business than of pleasure; and -would, in almost all cases, be let alone, were it not for the fee that -it produces. - -Miserable, however, as is the support which the theatre of the Athens -receives, and must continue to receive, the King was constrained to -visit it; however, from the smallness of the house and the number of -those who had legal admission as immediately belonging to his retinue, -or his household, he could be for a long time gazed upon by the -chosen, without any great admixture of the mere vulgar. The play was -nothing; but there was something rather novel in the by-acting. The -great chief of Glengarry, who has made himself conspicuous in many ways -and upon many occasions, and who has proved his descent from Ronald, -the elder of the two Vikings, who came robbing and remained royal in -the Hebudæ, being thus, not only “every inch a king,” as well as George -the Fourth, but a king of a much older and a more legitimate dynasty, -stood up for the royal prerogative of wearing his bonnet, and keeping -his seat, while the band was playing, and the audience shouting, “God -save the King.” For this, he was complained of somewhat angrily, and, -in my opinion, very unjustly; for, if they played and sung “God save -the King,” in honour of George Augustus Frederick Guelph, King of Great -Britain and Hanover, then they stinted others of their due, and showed -a partiality not to be borne, when they did not strike up “God save the -Chief,” in honour of Alexander Ronaldson Macdonell, of Glengarry and -Clanronald, heir to the titles, the virtues, and the valour, of Donald -of the Isles. This was omitted, however, and so after this dramatic -scene, the Monarch of these realms staid not another hour in the -Athens; but merely rested a day in the neighbourhood, and then took -his departure, in manner as shall be set forth in another section. - - -THE NATIONAL MONUMENT. - -“_Si monumentum queriris, Circumspice._” - -Though the laying of the foundation-stone of the “National Monument of -Scotland,” is to be regarded as a mere interlude in the royal acting, -and of course as a mere parenthesis in my outline of the same, yet -it merits a few sentences, not only on account of the curiosity of -the thing itself, but because it throws some light upon the vanity -of Scottish official men in general, and upon those of the Athens in -particular. - -To some people, the idea of building a national monument for Scotland, -or in other words, a monument for the Scottish nation, may seem a -work not of supererogation merely, but of folly; because the Scottish -nation, so far from running any risk of becoming extinct and being -forgotten, is in a very lively and flourishing state; and there are no -people that, wherever they may go, cherish so carefully and proclaim so -loudly, the praise of their country, as the Scotch. But this monument -was intended to answer two very nice purposes,--the one for the glory -of the loaf-and-fish politicians of Scotland, and the other for that -of the Athens. So long as the country was in a state of distress, -and it was doubtful whether the politics of the old or new system -would ultimately triumph upon the Continent of Europe, a very large -proportion of the leading men of Scotland, and of the Athens, joined -the people in being Whigs. As such, they had no immediate share in the -good things of the state; but they hoped that the wheel of hostilities -would revolve, bring the party into office, and so feed them in -proportion to the extent of their fasting and longing. Independently -of their intrinsic value, Whig politics are a much better theme for -declamation than Tory. In that faith, one can talk long and largely -about the majesty and rights of the people, and when not in office, one -can promise as largely as one pleases; while the most judicious plan -for the Tory is to pocket his reward, and thank God; or if he boasts -any thing it must be only to the choice few, and when the inspiration -of a dinner looses his tongue. Under all those circumstances, the -Tories of the Athens, though they had all the substantial things their -own way, were confined to the actual enjoyers of office and emolument; -and the tongues and pens of their opponents were so hard upon them that -they had begun to be afraid to hold even their wonted meetings. Thus -it became necessary that they should do something which should either -win the hearts or dazzle the eyes of their countrymen. The former -was without the compass of their speculations; so they set about the -latter; and after floundering a long time from one scheme to another, -they at last hit upon this wise one of the monument. - -After the requisite number of ladies and gentlemen had licked the -scheme into some sort of shape in private, they held a meeting in the -Assembly-Rooms in George-Street, on the 24th of September, 1819, at -which his Grace of Athol presided; and divers other persons, equally -loyal, and almost equally tasteful and wise, gave their assistance. -The time was well-chosen. It was in the very depth of those political -clouds which, arising immediately from the sufferings of the people, -and remotely, as was supposed, from the wasteful expenditure and -unaccommodating pride of the Administration, were threatening to -burst upon both ends of the island. The object, as set forth in the -resolutions of that meeting, was threefold:--First, the erection of a -monument to commemorate the great naval and military achievements of -the British arms, during the late glorious and eventful war; secondly, -in order to testify the gratitude of the projectors to the Almighty, -they were to connect a church with the monument of the achievements, -and endow two ministers to officiate therein; and thirdly, they -were to set apart a certain number of the seats in this church for -the benefit of pious strangers visiting the Athens. All which being -settled, they set about a subscription for raising the funds. In -those days, however, they were by no means such adepts in political -arithmetic as they have since become, through the labours of Joseph -Hume and others; and though they had their purses, they were neither so -full nor so easily opened as their loyal intentions. As that moment, -the monument to the achievements, the church, and the two ministers, -would have cost them more than a hundred thousand pounds; and thus the -monument, besides its more avowed and desired objects would have been -the monument of all the disposeable cash of the whole of the Tories -of Scotland,--a sepulture and a remembrance of which, they were not -altogether so fond. Wherefore, finding that the subscriptions amongst -themselves were in danger of becoming the monument of the project, they -applied to the General Assembly of the Scottish Kirk. That venerable -constellation of churchmen, after grave deliberation, declared that the -thing was “a most suitable and appropriate expression of gratitude to -the Lord of Hosts,” and forthwith recommended a general address from -the one thousand and one parish pulpits of the Kirk, for the purpose -of obtaining collections and subscriptions from the one thousand and -one parishes. But the parsons were not over hearty in the cause, -and the people were less so; and thus the whole sum produced did not -much exceed a hundred pounds--about two shillings for the prayers and -pleading of each minister. - -Having thus learnt from experience, that the scheme would not do, -either as a party and political measure among themselves, or as a -clerico-politico-religious one in the hands of the ministers of the -kirk, they took up new ground altogether, and addressed themselves to -a much more active and promising principle, the vanity of the Athens. -They began with a long and learned parallel between the overthrow of -Bonaparte and that of Darius and Xerxes; and then, coming gradually -a little nearer home, they hinted, that, in his encouragement of the -arts, Lord Melville was the express image of Pericles. This brought -them to the marrow of the subject: Edinburgh was very much like -Athens,--it was, in fact, the Modern Athens, or the Athens Restored; -the Calton Hill was a far finer thing than the Acropolis; the freestone -of Craigleith excelled in beauty and durability the marble of -Pentelicus; the Firth of Forth outstretched and outshone the Egean or -the Hellespont; the kingdom of Fife beat beyond all comparison Ionia -and the Troad; Ida and Athos were mere mole-hills compared with North -Berwick Law and the Lomonds; Platæa and Marathon had nothing in them -at all comparable with Pinkie and Preston Pans; Sir George Mackenzie of -Coull, excelled both Æschylus and Aristophanes; Macvey Napier was an -Aristotle; Lord Hermand a Diogenes; Macqueen of Braxfield had been a -Draco; the Lord President was a Solon; a Demosthenes could be found any -where; and Lord Macconachie was even more than a Plato. Then, to make -the parallel perfect, and indeed to make the Modern Athens every way -outstrip the Athens of old, only one thing was wanting, and that was, -that there should be erected upon the top of the Calton Hill, a copy -of the Temple of Minerva Parthenon, to be called the national monument -of Scotland, as that had been called the national monument of Greece; -and that the independence of the modern city and the modern land should -survive the building of the monument as long as that of the old had -done. - -The proposal took amazingly; for, in an instant, every quill was up -to the feather in ink, every tongue was eloquent, and every lady and -gentleman took an Athenian _nom de guerre_--Alcibiades there, Aspasia -here, till they had Athenized the whole city. Still, however, fine -as the situation was, and fond as they were of it, a Parthenon in -speech was a cheaper thing than a Parthenon in stone; and so, though -Edinburgh had, beyond all doubt or dispute, become the Modern Athens, -it still wanted the temple of Minerva upon the Calton Hill as the -national monument of Scotland. - -It was still wished and resolved, however, that this finishing touch -should be given to the likeness and the glory of the Modern Athens; -and, as the tories, the ministers, and the dilettanti, had all failed -in the accomplishment of the thing, it was resolved to call in royal -aid; and have the assistance of his majesty at laying the basis of this -mighty monument. But even here, there were obstacles in the way of this -slow-going Parthenon: it would be too much to ask the King to lay the -foundation-stone in person; and yet, if he were present, the laying of -it would be a humiliation of the whole tories of the country in the -sight of majesty; for it happened unfortunately for them, that the -grand master of the mystic craft in Scotland was none other than the -whig Duke of Hamilton: But wisdom has many ways of going to work; and -so they resolved that the tory lords should act the King by deputation, -and command the grand master to do the work. This was no sooner thought -of than put in execution. An immense number of the craft formed a -procession, and the stone was laid, leaving the structure to be built -when time and funds should permit. - - -THE DISPERSION. - -“To your tents, O Israel.” - -Never was the philosophic adage of “soonest hot, soonest cold,” more -completely verified, than in the case of the loyal official men of -Scotland. At every point, and in every thing, they had been eclipsed; -in most things they had felt a fancied neglect and disappointment; and -never did Welsh squire or Highland chief, when justled by the London -crowd in Cheapside or the Strand, sigh more for his white villa or grey -fortalice, than they did for a return to the snug honours of their -respective burghs. There was wormwood in the cup which they durst not -throw away, and which they were unwilling to drink,--there were from -each burgh, men whom they had formerly attempted to look down upon, in -consequence of an assumed or presumed influence at court; and those -men had seen with what indifference themselves and their very best -addresses had been treated; and they would not fail to communicate this -to the people at home. Where they had hoped to shine, they had only -smoked; where they had made sure of rising, they had sunk; where they -had counted upon honours and rewards, they had only incurred expense -which their constituents would compel them to pay out of their own -pockets; and where they had sown hopes the most sweet, they could reap -nothing but disappointment the most bitter. It was piteous to see their -looks,--blank and dull enough when they first came in the flush of -their importance; but now doubly blank, and trebly dull. - -“_Et tu Brute!_” The very magistrates of Edinburgh,--that provost -Arbuthnot, the moment that he knew his own was to be the only -“_gentry_” conferred upon a Scottish magistrate, cut his country -cousins. Not even Glasgow herself, notwithstanding her lodgings hired -at a thousand guineas a week, could be permitted to taste so much as a -glass of cold water in the presence of the King. Perth “tried herself -o’ the Gaelic,” and swore all the oaths of the mountains; the little, -side-fidgetting, owl-faced provost of Inverness, who had come “over the -hills and far away” in a dog-cart, in order that he might avoid the -contamination of his bailies, poked out his under-lip like the edge -of a singed pan-cake, and with his right hand gave a most fierce and -ominous scratching to his left elbow. Aberdeen blasted the eyes of his -own cats, and vowed that he would “vote for Josaph Heem, oat o’ pyure -retrebeeshon.” - -Never, indeed, was bold beginning brought to so lame and impotent a -conclusion; but it was a conclusion which any person, except a Scotch -burgh magistrate, might have anticipated. Even the Lord-Mayor of -London is a commoner at Hampstead or Brixton, and what, then, could -an Inverness or a Perth Bailie, or even a Glasgow Provost, be in the -modern Athens, and while the whole of the official men there were -bowing before the King, in the hope of securing all the advantage to -themselves? If neglect be the portion of the man who can afford to -place upon the table at his election-dinner as much turtle as would -float a seventy-four, and who sends over the world, - - ----“Argosies with portly sail, - Like signiors and rich burghers of the flood,” - -what could be expected of the man who retailed pig-tail tobacco by the -yard, or played the leach to the breechless urchins of the mountains? -“Nothing,” will be the answer of any uninterested spectator or hearer; -but to put any corporation man, more especially if he be Scotch, in -possession of this part of his utter insignificance without his own -burgh, or indeed, to any rational purpose, within it, would be as hard -and hopeless a task as ever was undertaken by man. - -Thus the chances are, that though these poor innocents (and to have -beheld their rueful looks on their neglect and disappointment, would -have created bowels in a Turk, or made Burdett pity, if not love, -borough-mongers,) felt all the bitterness of the infliction, they -would profit nothing by the wholesome hint of the lesson,--just as in a -school, the blockheads get all the whipping, and none of the Latin. - -Even as early as the levee day, those persons had found that they were -not in their proper element, and the discovery had become more plain -and palpable every day. Their first and fondest hopes were that each -would be made a peer; then they came down to baronets; next to simple -knights; and again each would have been pleased if the King had given -him a snuff-box,--or even, latterly, a pinch of snuff. But all that -the King gave was an Irish giving--he gave himself no trouble about -them; and the whole court, or, as tails were the fashion, the whole -royal tail, from the Right Honourable Robert Peel, Secretary of State -for the Home Department, to Sir Patrick Walker, Knight, Usher (not, as -some say, of the white feather,) but of the White Rod, followed at the -hinder parts of its royal master. Even with regard to the counties, -there were few of the men in office who met with much regard. A Scotch -lord-lieutenant has commonly a very capacious swallow himself; thus -whatever the minor officers happen to pick up is only at second hand -through him; and upon the occasion alluded to, a few wary wights who -gave themselves airs haughty and tyranic enough, while in their own -localities, might be seen twittering after the great man who made them, -just as Irish beggars twitter after a mail-coach. But hope is like the -sun, it ever rises the soonest, and sets the latest, upon the most -elevated point; and so, ere the last and lingering ray had gone down -upon the pinnacle of royalty, the middle men of Scotland and of the -Athens were dark as Erebus. Long before that feast of which they were -forbidden to eat, and that solitary honour to Provost Arbuthnot which -they were forbidden to witness, the greater part of the “bodies” had -taken their knapsacks and their departure. - -For a day or two previous, they who one little week before had looked -down not only upon great merchants and little squires, but absolutely -upon the nobles of the land, might be found at the corners and -crossings of streets, begging a bow from the poorest of their townsmen. - -On the morning preceding the pilgrimage, I took an early walk round -the Calton-Hill; and I cannot say that I ever met with a spectacle -more ludicrously pathetic than the chief magistrate of a royal burgh, -who sat in brown and stony meditation there. A large stone formed his -seat; and, but for his resemblance to human nature, and the chain of -office that was about his neck, I might have supposed that the seat -and the sitter were of the same senseless material. The north-east -wind swept coldly upon him, but he appeared to heed it not; as little -did he notice me, as I went close up to scan his singular appearance. -In shape, in size, and in colour, his face more resembled a brick than -any other similitude that I could find. One hand hung upon his knee and -held a snuff-box, by the inscription upon which I could perceive that -he had been a colonel of volunteers; while the other hand, arrested -in middle course, as it bore its load from the silver to the brazen -repository, was relaxed in its hold, and dropping upon the cravat -that with which he meant to powder the intellect. His speculationless -eye was directed across the blue Firth, and to the brown mountains, -among which I should presume he had his residence; and, heedless of -any passer by, he was taking up his Ecclesiastes like another Solomon: -“Deil’s i’ that King! could not he hae staid at hame, and let us -continue to tell him a’ abaut the countrie? We hae put ourselves to -nae sma’ fash an’ expense, and it has a’ come to a bonnie upshot. Our -business negleckit, half the siller cuinzied out a’ our ain pooches, -naething but lookit doon upon here; an’ a’ for the sake o’ bein’ -taunted and worried by the folk at hame, for sax months at the least.” -Thus saying, he bounced up, buttoned his coat, trotted away to the -coach-office, and, instead of returning at the tails of four greys -as he had come, was fain to ride outside the stage-coach, and smuggle -himself into his burgh under cloud of night. - -The rout soon became general: Glasgow, in great wrath, took her coach, -and her lamentation, and drove so furiously, that the cries of “make -way for the duke,” and “stop thief!” resounded alternately at the -hamlets and turnpike-gates; while the echo of the western city, emptied -as it still was of a great part of its inhabitants, was the most -dismal that can be imagined. Aberdeen tarried not the wheels of her -chariot, until she had reached her own Castle Street; where the answer -that she made to the many inquiries as to what she had gotten was, -“It wad nae mak ony body vera fat.” Nor was disappointment the only -misery against which they had to bear up. Perth got her head broken -by thrusting herself in the way at the peer’s ball. Poor Dundee got -her pocket picked at some place she did not mention. Inverness was put -on quarantine when she went home. Inverbernie found that during her -absence, a radical barber and breeches-maker had established himself -next door, and monopolized the whole custom; and, in short, every -one had a tale of woe, which, while it pleaded for pity, found only -derision. - -Towards the close of the exhibition, a number even of the people seemed -to get heartily tired of the business; and notwithstanding all the -scramble that was made by those whose interest it was to preserve -appearances as much as possible, every succeeding act fell off in -interest, and, had George the Fourth remained in the Athens for but -one brief month, it is probable that the people of Scotland would have -returned to their own homes, and the Athenians to the worship of their -own idols. - - -THE PARTING. - -“Adieu, Adieu, Adieu! remember me.--SHAKSPEARE.” - -The streets of the Athens, which had been thinning of people ever since -the King’s arrival, were, on the morning of Friday the 30th of August, -the day on which he was to take his departure, as still and silent as -though the chariot-wheel of majesty had never been heard in them. The -constables, lacqueys, and laced porters at the gates of the Holyrood -had dwindled to a small and feeble remnant; no merry archer, in broad -bonnet of blue, and doublet of green tartan, demanded the pass-word, -with bent bow and pheon ready for the string; the foot of the casual -house-maid wakened the old and melancholy echo in its deserted halls; -and those apartments which were so recently gladdened by the gorgeous -train of the King, and made lovely and gay by the presence of all that -Scotland could boast of the fair and the noble, were in sure progress -to being as usual “furr’d round with mouldy damp and ropy slime,” over -which the faint recollection (for even then it was waxing faint,) that -the King had been there, “let fall a supernumerary horror,” which, to -those who during the King’s stay had been raised to office, and put on -the guise of courtiers, only served to make the night of his absence -“more irksome.” The cannon, which, for the previous fourteen days, had -ever and anon been pealing royal salutes, began to be dragged from the -heights of Salisbury Crags and the Calton Hill; and the royal standard -was taken down, leaving the bare widowed staff bleaching in the air. -The guns of the venerable castle too, had subsided into the common -office of chronicling the several holidays and anniversaries, as though -they had been a mere kalendar; the last booths and benches were in the -act of being pulled down; and, excepting in shop-keepers’ books, in the -blackening of a few houses in the illumination, and in the baronet’s -patent of Sir William Arbuthnot, and the knighthood of Raeburn, a -painter, and Fergusson, deputy-king of the Athenian beefeaters, the -Athens retained no external trace of the royal visit, even when the -royal cavalcade was barely escaping from the suburbs. - -The people were intoxicated with its coming, and seemed for a time -to have dreamed; but the dream had melted away, and the interest -seemed to be measured exactly by the time that the King had to remain. -Every day it waxed less and less, till, on the day of his departure, -it had vanished altogether. I say this, of course, of the people -generally,--of those who, in their minds and their circumstances, are -independent, and not of them who basked in the sunshine of the court, -or had realities or hopes from the royal munificence. These, of course, -followed after the King to the last, and conveyed him to his barge, but -the people stood by with the most provoking indifference, and, to the -broadest hints that they should shout, returned only a few scattered -murmurs of approbation. They turned to each other, and talked of the -passing splendour as if it had been a common spectacle. At the same -time, the King himself, and not the mere pomp, was certainly the object -of their attention and solicitude. “Hech,” said the old bonneted sire -to his neighbour, as the King passed them rapidly on the beautiful -lawn at Hopetoun House, “Hech! an’ so that’s the real descendant -o’ Brunswick, wha preserved us the Declaration of Rights, and the -Protestant Succession, whilk allow ilka man, gentle and simple, to hae -the keepin’ o’ his ain body, and, what’s muckle better, o’ his ain saul -and conscience. God bless him, an’ keep him frae evil counsellors, and -sinfu’ neebours, for they say that the gryte fouk about Lunnon are no’ -just what they should be.” Thus did the rustics hold converse with one -another; and it could not be expected that persons who had their minds -in tone for such remarks, could bawl and shout like the unreflecting -rabble, whose tongues, were it King George or King Crispin, would be -equally loud. - -That the loyalty of official men, of all conditions, in Scotland, is -as fawning and obsequious, as in any country under the sun, I could -not fail to observe: as little could I fail to observe, that that of -the people of Scotland is of a very different character, and not to -be judged of by their shouting or not shouting at a royal pageant. -With them, loyalty is, like every thing else, a matter of reason and -reflection, and not of mere impulse and passion; and they never lose -sight of the original and necessary connexion between the King and -the people. They do not look upon the King as one who is elevated -above man and mortal law, and who holds a character directly from -Heaven, in virtue of which, he can, at his pleasure, and without being -accountable, put his foot upon the neck of millions of the human race. -They consider him as originally set up by common consent, and for the -common good, and they admit of the law of lineage and succession just -because it saves the chance of civil war, and gives a centre and a -rallying point to the strength and energy of the country. - -The melancholy, which the now deserted state of the Athens, contrasted -with its recent bustle and activity, was calculated to produce, was -increased by the day of the King’s departure being one of the most -gloomy and comfortless that it is possible to imagine. The wind -alternately swept in hurricanes which drove immense masses of clouds -over the city, and died away in dead calms which allowed those clouds -to retain their positions and pour out their contents in torrents. -Early as was the season, the leaves from the few trees in the vicinity -of the Athens had begun to fall; and, as the wind freshened, they -coursed each other along the dirty and deserted streets in ironical -mimickry of those processions by which they had so lately been filled. -It was no day either for examining the still life of the Athens, or -for studying the manners of the Athenians; and so, as my chief purpose -had been delayed by every display during the King’s visit, I thought -it just as well to see the end,--to mark the difference of feeling and -expression that the people would have at the time of a King’s coming -and at that of his going. Accordingly, I set out for Hopetoun House, -where royalty was to be refreshed, ere he again attempted the waters. - -It had been expected, that the King would grace with his royal -presence, Dalmeny Castle, the beautiful seat of Lord Roseberry, but he -contented himself with a drive through the grounds. Nor was the day -such as to permit him to see the prospect in descending Roseberry Hill -to Queensferry. The view there is peculiarly fine, and to Scotchmen it -must be highly interesting. Immediately below is the Forth, spotted -with islands and covered with shipping. To the left are the rich -woods and extensive demesnes of Hopetown, with the ancient burgh of -Queensferry at their entrance. To the right, are the bolder shores of -Fife, over which rises the beautiful ridge of Ochills. The towers of -Stirling, long the seat of kings, rise in the centre; and at no great -distance is the field of Bannockburn; and to the right, amid the grey -pinnacles of Dunfermline, sleep the ashes of the Bruce. Further off -Benledi, Ben-an, and Ben-voirlich raise their lofty crests, and the -noble peak of Ben-lomond pierces the most distant cloud. Altogether it -is a scene worthy of royal attention, and within its ample circuit are -countless recollections not unworthy of kingly meditation. The place -where Græme’s Dyke set bounds to the ambition of the Romans, till the -Caledonians fell a prey to luxury and corruption, may tell that the -strength of a people is not in walls and ramparts, but in courage, in -virtue, and in freedom. The stone near the banks of Carron, where the -royal standard of Scotland first was displayed triumphant after years -of suffering and humiliation, and the spot at which the battle-axe of -Bruce cleft the helm and head of the invader’s champion, tell what may -be done by an independent people, under the conduct of a brave and -virtuous prince; the veneration with which Scotchmen yet look towards -the crumbling ruins of Dunfermline, proclaims that the patriotism of a -King far outlives mere pomp and tinsel; and the fields of Falkirk and -Sherriff-muir, might have whispered in the ear of George the Fourth, -how hard Scotchmen had struggled in order that his family might wear -the crown. It seemed, however, that Nature had refused his majesty a -glance of the talismans of these recollections; and that, as he had -confined his attentions (we mean his private attentions, which, of -course, are exclusively at his own disposal,--in his public displays he -was equally attentive to all,) to one family or party, so the glories -of Scotland were shrouded from his view. During the whole day, a thick -cloud lowered over the western horizon, through which only the nearest -summit of the Ochills was but dimly seen. When his majesty came to -Queensferry, it seemed as if “Birnam Wood had come to Dunsinane,” for -the whole fronts of the houses, with their appendages, were covered -with boughs; boughs too were hung across the street, and showed like -triumphal arches turned topsey-turvey, as in sorrow at the departure of -the King. A small platform was erected at Port Edgar, a place a little -to the west of Queensferry, about which there is some idle tradition -of an ideal kingly visit, and deliverance from shipwreck. Thence to -Hopetoun House, a distance of about two miles, a road was now made -along the margin of the Forth. In the halls of the gallant Earl, a -_dejeunér à la fourchette_ was prepared for the King, a select few of -the nobility, and many of the neighbouring gentry. The country people -had assembled on the lawn, to the amount of some thousands, and were -regaled with two or three butts of October. - -The King arrived at the place of embarkation about three o’clock, -walked to the platform, leaning on Lord Hopetoun’s arm, and was -received on the platform by the venerable chief commissioner, Adam, as -convener of the Queensferry trustees. He took his old friend cordially -by both hands, and was by him conveyed to the royal barge, which he -entered, and reached the yacht in about six minutes. Although the -King’s “last speech” had been hawked through the streets of the Athens -in the morning, there is no evidence that he made one; and, indeed, -gradually to its close, the whole matter had melted away, like a -dream from the recollection of the half-awakened. Scarcely, too, had -his majesty got on board the yacht, when the dark clouds veiled his -whole squadron like a curtain, and the incessent pelting of the rain -scattered the remnant of the people. - -It was with some difficulty, and at a late hour, that I was able to -return to the Athens; and when I arose on the following morning, and -sallied out to begin my survey, the contrast was too strong for my -feelings. The whole line of George Street was unbroken, except by the -hoary form of a beggar crawling along in front of those assembly-rooms -which had lately been so gay; and the trim and active figure of the -editor of the Edinburgh Review, who, with a great bundle of law-papers -under one arm, and a new book under the other, shot along with as much -rapidity, as though the most strong and skilful of the archer-band -had discharged him from his bow. Queen Street was desolate; and in -King Street, the only thing that I could notice was one or two of the -personages who had lately flaunted their tails as highland chiefs, -taking leave of their law-agents, with downcast and sorrowful looks. -The regalia of Scotland were again consigned to their dull and greasy -apartment in the castle; the High Street, which so recently had rung -with the acclamations of serried multitudes, now echoed to the grating -croak of the itinerant crockery-merchant, and the ear-piercing screams -of the Newhaven fish-wife. The gewgaws, which for the last two weeks -had glittered in the windows of the shop-keepers, had again given place -to sober bombazines and webs of duffle; and the shop-keepers themselves -were either leaning against the posts of their doors, and yawning to an -extent which would have thrown any but Athenian jaws off the hinges, -or sitting perked upon three-footed stools within, casting looks, in -which hope formed no substantial ingredient, upon the long pages which -their country friends had enabled them to write in their day-books; -and of which, to judge from appearances, it was pretty plain that the -term of payment would be to the full as long as the amount. Every -where, in short, that I came, there was an air of desolation; not by -any means that the Athens was mourning for the departure of the King, -for among the few persons who were visible, his name was not so much -as mentioned, but in her own appearance she was mournful indeed, and -though she retained the same form as during the display and rejoicing, -her spirit seemed to be clean gone; and it was quite evident that, in -order to catch the average and peculiar likeness of this boasted city, -I must tarry till the present appearance had passed off, or remove to -a distance, till the natural one should return. - -I preferred the latter alternative, and resolved, after resting for -that day, to forget both the glory and the gloom in a month or two -among the Scottish mountains; and then return to the Athens, when the -return of business, of people, and of prate, should have been brought -back to their ordinary channels. - - - - -CHAPTER IV. - -THE ATHENS AND THE ATHENIANS IN GENERAL. - - - “A city set on an hill, which cannot be hid.” - -IN point of diversity of situation and beauty, and durability of -building materials, few cities have the same advantages as the Athens; -and I know of no city, of which the general and distant effect, upon -what side soever one approaches it, is more picturesque and striking. -But, as is the case with most things that look well as wholes, one -is miserably disappointed when one comes to examine the details. The -ground upon which the Athens is built bears some resemblance to a fort -with a ditch and glacis. The Castle and High Street, with the clustered -buildings on each side, compose the fort; the Cow-gate on the south, -the Grass Market on the west, and the North Loch on the north, form -the ditch, which bears some resemblance to a noose thrown round the -Castle, and having the ends stretching away eastward by the Holyrood; -and beyond this ditch the glacis slopes toward St. Leonard’s, the Loch -of Duddingstone, and the Meadows on the south, and toward the water -of Leith on the north. The central division, although its situation -be very airy, and also very favourable for cleanliness, has nothing -to boast of in either of these respects. The houses are so closely -huddled together, that, excepting the High Street itself, which is -rather spacious, the inhabitants may almost shake hands from the -windows of the opposite houses; and they are built to such a height, -that scarcely a glimpse of sunshine can find its way within two storeys -of the foundations. In all this part of the Athens, there seems to be -the greatest dislike to subways and common sewers; and thus, unless -when the High Street is washed by a torrent of rain, it is by no means -the most pleasant to perambulate. The southern ditch, or Cow-gate, -is, throughout its whole extent, as filthy and squalid as can well -be imagined; and, with the exception of a few public buildings, and -one or two little squares, there is not much to be commended on the -glacis beyond. Indeed the whole, southward of the North Loch, which -the Athenians style the sublime part of their city, is more remarkable -for the sublimation of mephitic effluvia than of any other thing. The -new town again, or the portion between the North Loch and the water of -Leith, is as dull as the other is dirty. The principal streets consist -of long lines of stone building, without any break or ornament except -wicket-doors and trap-hole windows, which render the whole very heavy, -and induce one to believe that they are constructed with the intention -of being as inaccessible and dark as possible. Princes Street, which is -a single row, looking across the tasteless and unadorned gulf of the -North Loch toward the beetling and shapeless masses of the old town, -had originally been intended for private dwelling-houses, at the rate -of a whole family per floor. Circumstances have changed, however. The -Athenian fashionables (contrary to the natural tendency of the Scotch) -have moved northwards; their places have been supplied by drapers from -the Lawn Market, barbers from the Parliament Stairs, and booksellers -from the Cross; and, as the immense weight of tall stone-houses renders -the alteration of the ground-floor dangerous, without taking down and -rebuilding the whole, the expense of which would be very great, Princes -Street is perhaps the most tasteless and clumsy line of shops in the -island of Great Britain; while, so anxious are the people to huddle -upon the top of each other, that it is not uncommon to find four or -five shops for very opposite kinds of wares, in a pile up and down -the same stair-case. George Street is the most gloomy and melancholy -that can well be imagined; and a walk along its deserted pavements is -sufficient to give any one the blue devils for a week. Queen Street -is longer, but not a whit more lively; and, though the view from it -be both extensive and varied, it seems no great favourite with the -Athenians. Farther to the north the buildings are newer, and there is -occasionally an attempt at the recurrence of architectural ornaments at -the end of certain lengths of the buildings; but these ornaments want -taste in their form, and force in their projections, and thus increase -the poverty of the effect. Throughout the whole private dwellings of -the Athens, you are impressed with the cold eternity of stone and -lime, and you look in vain for that airy elegance, that rich variety -of taste, and that repose of comfort, which you find in other places. -Villas, self-contained houses, and snug or even decent gardens, seem -to be held in the greatest abhorrence. You meet not with one of the -delightful little boxes which are scattered round London by thousands, -and of which there are always a few in the vicinity of even third-rate -towns in England. The ambition of the Athenians appears to be, to make -every four stone walls a joint stock company, as dull, as tasteless, -and as heavy, as a stack of warehouses in Thames Street. - -Of all the objects of Athenian detestation, the greatest, however, seem -to be decently laid out pleasure-grounds, and trees. Strangers used -to say that the rustic Scotch cut down all sorts of bushes, because -ghosts and spirits whistled in them on windy nights; and really, when I -looked at the many fine situations in and about the Athens, which the -Athenians have taken particular care neither to improve nor to plant, -I could not help thinking that this superstition, now banished from -every province in Scotland, has taken up its abode in the Scottish -metropolis. True, they have a public walk round the Calton-Hill, but -that is merely a thing of yesterday; and though they have placed upon -the top of it a monument to Lord Nelson, modelled exactly after a Dutch -skipper’s spy-glass, or a butter churn; an astronomical observatory, -tasteful enough in its design, but not much bigger than a decent -rat-trap, or a twelfth-cake at the Mansion-House; and are to build “the -National Monument;” yet they have never thought of planting so much -as a thistle, but have left the summit of the hill in all its native -bleakness, and allowed it to be so much infested by lazy black-guards -and bare-footed washerwomen, as to be unsafe for respectable females -even at noon-day;--while after dusk this, the most fashionable -promenade of the Athens, is habitually the scene of so much and so -wanton vice, that instead of an ornament to the city, as it might -easily be made, it is a nuisance and a disgrace. - -The royal precinct of the Holyrood, which occupies a piece of rich -level ground about the palace, and which stretches a considerable way -up the romantic heights to the south, is, one would think, a chosen -place for taste to display itself upon; and when there are taken -into the account the boast of the Athenians that their Holyrood is -the finest royal palace in Britain, and that other boast which is so -habitual with them that there is no need of repeating it, one would -imagine that among all their boasted improvements the royal precinct -would not have been overlooked; but all that they appear to have done -for it has been to make it as dirty and as desolate as ever they could. -The whole filth of the old town (and that is no small commodity) is -collected in cesspools within a few yards of the palace; and lest -that should not be grateful enough to the Athenian olfactories, a -considerable portion of the adjoining ground is set apart for the -collection of manure from all places. Upon the other parts of the -royal domain, about half a dozen of scraggy and withered trees, and -an old thorn-hedge, more than half of which was when I viewed it -reposing in the lap of its neighbour ditch, are the only attempts at -landscape-gardening; and the grand-children of those by whom they were -planted must, by this time, be in their graves or their dotage. - -Salisbury Crags, again, are a natural object which the people of a -less classical city would not only adore, but adorn by every means in -their power. The Athenians act differently; their rulers hew down the -picturesque masses of basalt, sell them at so much a cart-load, for -paving the streets and Mac-Adamizing the highways, and put the proceeds -into that bottomless box called the “common gude.” About midway up -that bold front of these cliffs which looks towards the city, there -is what may be termed an accidental public walk. It has been formed -by the cutting away of the rock above for the purposes of gain, and -the tumbling down of the smaller fragments which were not saleable. -When the Athenian authorities were alarmed at the Radicals, and -bestirred themselves in getting a general subscription for the relief -of those whom the changes consequent upon the late war had thrown out -of employment, a few labourers were set to work on the middle of this -walk; but they had no plan and no superintendant, and the funds were -exhausted before it could be made accessible at either end; while the -whole face of the Crags, instead of being tufted with brushwood and -festooned with creeping plants, as might have been done at very little -expense, is as naked as--the shame of those who let it remain in its -present condition. - -The meadows southward of the city, and the adjoining common called -“Bruntsfield-links,” are not in much better condition. At some period, -indeed, a walk or two had been formed in the meadows, and some hedges -and trees planted, but neither the one nor the other have been attended -to; while the grass is in so marshy a state that the cows, to which -it is almost exclusively assigned, can with difficulty make their way -across it. The whole extent of the North Loch, too, was till very -lately, and great part of it is still, a putrid and pestilent marsh, -at once offensive to the eye, and injurious to the health; and indeed, -throughout the whole compass of the Athens, there is scarcely a tree -or any thing green, except grass in the melancholy streets towards the -meadows, and moss upon the dank walls of several of the more low and -squalid dwelling-houses. - -Notwithstanding all this, there are few places that boast more of their -improvements than the Athens; and not many in which the people have -been made to pay more upon that score. But either there has been a -total want of skill in the projectors, or a total want of economy in -those who had the execution,--if indeed there has not been both. I was -told repeatedly, that every scheme and measure to which the Athenian -authorities give the name of a public improvement, is uniformly a job -for the benefit, not of the public, but of some party or individual; -and really, comparing what is said to have been expended with what has -actually been done, I can find no other theory that will sufficiently -explain the facts. The bell-rope of the Tron-Kirk appears not to have -been the only case in which a hundred pounds’ expense has been incurred -for the purpose of saving a shilling. - -Even in her public buildings, the Athens has little of which she can -boast. All the places of worship belonging to the established Kirk -are tasteless; and the most modern ones are the most so. St. Giles’ -Cathedral is a black, shapeless, and ruinous mass, stuck round with -booths and police-officers; and when one has said, that the portion -of it set apart for public worship as the High Kirk, has a handsome -old roof spoiled by tasteless painting, and a square tower with an -imperial crown, which looks well at a distance, and not absolutely -ill when one is close to it,--one has about summed up the whole of -its merits. Respecting most of the other Presbyterian churches, the -less that is said the better; the Grey-Friars, situate south of the -Castle, has an interest with the more devout people of Scotland, from -the tombs of the martyrs that are in the adjoining burial-ground; and -St. George’s Church, which terminates the street of the same name, -westward, is perhaps the most expensive and unseemly abortion of modern -architecture. Public monuments in the Athens there are none, except -Nelson’s (formerly mentioned) on the Calton-Hill, and Lord Melville’s -column in St. Andrew’s Square; and it is not the fashion of the Athens -to consider her burying-grounds as sacred, or to set up memorials for -the illustrious dead. If her plan gives her as much trouble as this -would do, it is trouble of a different kind: she keeps down, as much as -she can, all those who are not either illustrious already, or have not -something to confer, as long as they are alive; and when they are dead, -she gives herself no more trouble about them. - -Of her other public buildings, the College is the largest; but -as the plan was far beyond her means, it stood a ruin for a very -considerable period, and will ultimately be a piece of patchwork in -consequence of a deviation from the original design. Still, however, -if it could be seen, the entrance front is majestic; and the opposite -square (especially the whole façade in which the Museum is, and the -rooms for the Museum itself) is singularly chaste and beautiful. The -Register-House is a neat building, and seen to considerable advantage; -but there is something trifling in the whole air of it. - -That frost-work style of architecture, which out-Goths all the Goths -that ever existed, has visited the Athens, in some of its most tawdry -and fantastic specimens,--the chief of which are an episcopal chapel -near the west end of Princes’ Street, and another near the east end of -Queen Street, of which it would puzzle a conjuror to point out the most -ridiculous. - -Even the Castle has suffered the infliction of the modern Athenian -taste, by the erection of two or three piles within its ramparts which -have every appearance of being cotton manufactories. So much for the -still life of the modern Athens. - -To give a general idea of the Athenian people, is by no means so easy -a matter. They take their character from a number of circumstances; -and the circumstances cannot be properly explained without an allusion -to the character, nor the character rightly appreciated without a -reference to the circumstances. If one dwell upon the general subject, -one is forced to assert without any means of proving; and if one take -up a single particular, although the proof be perfect in as far as that -is concerned, it is difficult to establish the connexion, and point out -the effect, with regard to the whole. To examine society with a view to -determine the general spirit and character of those who compose it, -is like examining an animal with a view to a knowledge of the nature -and operation of the living principle. If we examine it while alive -and in the performance of its functions, we see the results without -being able to understand the machinery; and if we dissect and separate -the different parts, we have the machinery without the results; nor -does it appear that there are any means by which we can obtain a -contemporaneous view of both. - -Thus, I found the character of the Athenians different from that -of the inhabitants of any other city; and I also found many of the -circumstances under which they are placed to be peculiar; but still -I am not prepared to say, that the one set of peculiarities are -altogether to be set down as causes, and the other as effects. The -Athens has, doubtless, stamped upon her people much of their character, -and they have requited her by service of the same kind; so that any -pretension to be profoundly philosophic in the matter would be as -impossible as for my purpose it is unnecessary. - -The leading characteristic of the Athenians, of all ranks, all degrees -of understanding, all measures of taste, all shades of party, and both -sexes, is to esteem their own idols in preference to the idols of every -other people on the face of the earth. Their own situation is the -finest that can possibly be found; and their own mode of improving -it is superior to any that could be suggested. Their men, taken on -the average, excel all others in wisdom, and nothing can any way -compare with the brilliance of their women. In their manners they are -never vulgar; and in their tastes and judgments they do not make half -the slips and blunders which are made by the rest of the world. The -songs of their poets (when they happen to have any) are transcendent -for sublimity and sweetness; and the theories of their philosophers -(of which they are never without a reasonable portion) are ever the -most agreeable to nature, and the most nicely put together. Upon the -latter point they are somewhat amusing; for in no place whatever have -philosophic theories been so often changed, as among the sages of the -succession of schools which, shining from the Athens, have dazzled and -illuminated mankind; and yet, while each of these theories has been the -object of Athenian adoration, it, and none but it, has been the true -one. In politics they have not, at least for a long time, been agreed -in their doctrines, or unanimous in their worship; for in politics, -interest has generally much more to do than principle; and, being by -much the stronger of the two, and pulling opposite ways with different -parties, it has produced among the Athenians, divisions which are as -remarkable as their union of self-adoration in most other things. - -Whence, it may be asked, does this self-adoration arise? To which -I would answer, in the true Athenian manner, by asking where the -affections of a widowed and childless woman, who has no hope and no -chance of being courted by another, are centred. The Athens is a -widowed metropolis: she stands registered in the pages of history as -having been the seat of kings,--she has her walls of a palace, her name -of a royal household, and her gewgaws of a crown and sceptre; but the -satisfying, the fattening, the satiating,--or perhaps, as some would -call it, the stultifying presence and influence of the monarch is not -there; neither is there any vice-roy, or other kingly vice-gerent set -high enough in its stead, to attract the attention, and invite or -command the worship of the people. Thus, she is in herself not only the -capital of Scotland, but all that Scotland has localized as an apology -for a king; and therefore, besides assuming the consequence due to a -royal seat, she puts on the airs of royalty itself, and worships her -own shadow in the mirror of the passing time. She is the only city -in the British islands which is so situated; and this alone would be -sufficient to give her a peculiarity of character, and to make that -peculiarity an inordinate pride. - -Thus the Athens, taking her nominal and her real situation into the -account, is both metropolitan and provincial: with regard to Scotland, -she has the name, and assumes the pride, of being metropolitan in -every thing; and in as far as concerns the administration of the laws -as peculiar to Scotland, and in some degree, also, as concerning the -internal discipline of the Scottish Kirk, she is really metropolitan; -but in respect of Britain generally, she is nothing more than a -provincial city, and the matters in which she is provincial have, to -the full, as powerful an influence upon her rival character, as those -in which she is, or flatters herself to be, metropolitan, have upon -the character which she is anxious to assume. It is not, for instance, -in the nature of things, that she can ever take the lead in matters of -taste and fashion. Wherever the executive and legislative powers of -the state are allocated, it is there that the gay and the rich will -throng; and notwithstanding all the boasted elegance and taste of the -Athens, no Scottish nobleman, or even squire, spends his winter there, -if he can afford to spend it in London. Hence, the Athens is not only -destitute of the source whence fashion flows, but she is also left -without the means by which it could be supported: she is second-rate in -her very nature, and also in those who form her leading society. - -But it follows of necessary consequence, that a place which is -second-rate in fashion and in wealth, must be second-rate also in -every thing which fashion can encourage and wealth reward. A solitary -student who prosecutes a science, or a solitary artist who practises -an art, for its own sake, and with an inferior degree of regard to -present honour and emolument, might perchance succeed better in the -Athens than in the British metropolis. But, as British society is at -present constituted, there are few who have the means, and apparently -not many who have the desire, of proceeding in this way; and therefore, -the place which attracts the fashion and the wealth, will also attract -the superior talent, in consequence of the superior means of rewarding -which it possesses; and upon this principle, it would be just as vain -for the Athens to hope to rival London in any of the liberal arts, or -elegant amusements, as it would be for the Scotch lords of Session, -to rival the upper House of the British Parliament, the George Street -Assembly Rooms to rival Almack’s, or the speeches of the Scotch -advocates to be read with as much attention as those of the leading -orators in the House of Commons. - -Of those classes of persons whose professions fix them in Scotland, -the Athens, if she manages her patronage honestly and judiciously, may -always command the best. The judges and pleaders in her supreme court -ought to be superior to the sheriffs and attornies in the Scottish -counties; her clergymen, if those who have the appointment of them were -to be guided solely by merit, ought to be the most learned and most -eloquent that Scotland can produce; the professors in her university -ought (under the same proviso) to be superior to those of Aberdeen -and St. Andrews, and perhaps also to those of Glasgow; and, even in -other cases, she may produce one or two lights more brilliant than -the average in the metropolis;--but, in all cases, where there is no -necessary tie, real or imaginary, to bind a man northward of the Tweed, -the Athens must be satisfied with making her selection after London -has been supplied. Or if she deny the conclusion, she must also deny a -principle upon which her people know as well how to act as the people -of any place,--that whoever can afford to pay the best, will get the -best and the readiest service. - -For adopting this theory, the Athens must not accuse me, either of -ignorance of her erudition, or of a wish to detract from her real -merits. I know her more intimately than she may perhaps be aware; and -if I were to judge her by the strict letter of my own experience, I -should place her sundry degrees lower still; and tell the world of some -of the bitterness which she foolishly squeezes into her own dish, -and some of the ludicrous positions into which she works herself, by -attempting a grace and a dignity, which her nature and her education -alike deny to her; but I have no desire to state any more than is -sufficient to establish the truth; and if she can point out a theory -either of this leading feature of her general character, or of any of -the more detailed and particular ones, which will explain the phenomena -better than mine, I shall be very willing to adopt it. Meanwhile, -however, it is fitting that a city, which not only looks down in scorn -upon the country to which she owes her daily bread, but which affects -to sneer at those whom she must notwithstanding copy, and whom it is -utterly impossible that she can ever equal, should be rebuked for her -arrogance, and resisted when she would claim that to which she neither -has nor can have the smallest title. - - - - -CHAPTER V. - -POLITICS OF THE ATHENS. - - “As when the sea breaks o’er its bounds, - And overflows the level grounds, - Those banks and dams, that, like a screen, - Did keep it out, now keep it in; - So, when tyrannic usurpation - Invades the freedom of a nation, - The laws o’ th’ land, that were intended - To keep it out, are made defend it.”--BUTLER. - - -ALTHOUGH the Athens be the point at which the whole politics of -Scotland have their origin and their termination; and, although the -parties there be more uniform and incessant in their hostility than in -the remote parts of the country; yet, it is impossible to understand -the composition, spirit, and conduct of those parties, without -premising a few words on the general question. - -Now, though England growls, and Ireland brawls and fights, neither -of them is perhaps so degraded in its political system as Scotland. -The great body of the Scottish people may indeed be said to have no -political rights at all; and the members that are sent to the House -of Commons as the representatives of Scotland, may just as properly -be considered the representatives of Bengal or Barbadoes, with which -they have often fully as much connexion, and in the welfare of which -they are fully as much interested. In the Scottish counties, the real -proprietors of the soil are not necessarily the voters for members of -parliament; and, in the royal burghs of Scotland, the great body of -the freemen and burgesses, instead of possessing the parliamentary -franchise, are almost necessarily in opposition to those who do possess -it. Freeholds, in the Scottish counties, are held either by charters -directly from the King, or by charter from subjects as their vassals. -No part of the lands in Scotland being now in the hands of the crown, -the extent of holdings by crown charter cannot be increased; and, as -the rents of the crown vassals were valued a considerable time ago, -an increase of rent, either from the improvement of the estate, or -from any other cause, does not increase its political value. None -but those who hold of the crown, and whose valued rents are of the -stipulated amount, can vote for members of parliament; though, if -the valued rental amount to any number of times the sum necessary -for a qualification, the holder of the crown charter for that rental -possesses as many votes as the amount will bear. In theory, therefore, -there is a difference between the value of Scotch property in land, and -the representation of that property in parliament. The value of the -land varies with the prosperity of the country, while the extent of the -representation remains the same. This is an injustice; but it is by no -means the only or the greatest one of which the Scottish landholder has -to complain. The property in the crown charter, or superiority, as it -is called, is different from the property in the land: the lands may -be sold, and the votes retained by the seller; the votes may be sold, -without selling the land; or the land may be sold to one purchaser, and -the votes to another. - -This system is productive of so many evils, that, in many instances, -a Scotch county representation is substantially no representation at -all. The local interests and improvements of the counties are apt to -be neglected, the county interest is easily thrown into the scale of -any party or faction,--more especially if that party or faction be -subservient to the administration,--and, as the county member, when -ministerial, has great influence over all the government offices and -patronage connected with the county, the chances are, that these will -be bestowed upon persons who are either ignorant of their duties, -from a want of local knowledge, or disliked by the independent -proprietors upon party grounds. The old and decaying families, whose -fallen fortunes force them to sell their lands, and whose pride as -well as whose interest induces them to retain their superiorities, for -the purpose of turning them to political account, are thus ranged in -opposition to the more active and intelligent, who, by the exercise -of their own talents, have acquired the means of purchasing land; and -thus, independently of the old and theoretic distinctions of tories -and whigs, there is perhaps more to create and render conspicuous -the distinction between the liberal and the servile, in the Scotch -counties, than in those either of England or of Ireland. - -In the royal burghs of Scotland, the separation between those who -really possess the property and are interested in the welfare of the -burgh, and those who are in possession of the elective franchise, is -still more glaring in its absurdity, and pernicious in its effects. -During the minority of James III. of Scotland, in 1469, when that -prince was only seventeen years old, and when the turbulent nobles -were setting the laws at defiance, and, by bands of armed ruffians -in the streets, compelling the freemen of the royal burghs to choose -their creatures as magistrates,--a statute was enacted, which was -deemed salutary at the time, but which has since reduced the political -influence of the whole burgesses of Scotland to a mere nonentity, and -made the Scotch burgh representation one of the most convenient and -efficient engines of corruption that ever was devised. That statute -gave to the official men, seldom exceeding twenty in any burgh, and -generally the mere creatures of some chief or leader, who frequently -has no connexion with the burgh at all--the power of electing their -successors in office,--that is, of placing the whole parliamentary -franchise, the whole revenues of the burgh, every species of patronage -that it can exercise, and every alteration and improvement that it -would require, solely and irretrievably at the control and disposal of -about twenty persons, and giving it to them and their assignees as a -perpetual inheritance. - -Now, although these twenty men should be the most intelligent that -each burgh could afford, yet, as the people have no voice in the -election of them, and no control over the acts of their management, -however corrupt, pernicious, or ruinous, it is impossible that they -can be regarded as any thing else than an useless and pernicious -excrescence,--a local despotism, of the most hurtful and humiliating -description, and a marketable commodity, always willing to hire -themselves to whoever should bribe the highest. Circumstanced as they -are, however, it is impossible that they can be the most intelligent -men in their respective burghs. Being a minority, and a very small and -insignificant one, public opinion must always be against them; and this -circumstance alone has a degrading and debasing tendency. The object -of the leading men among them must naturally be to preserve their own -superiority and influence; and therefore they must naturally procure -the election of recruits whose wisdom shall not be dangerous to their -own influence, and whose feelings of honour shall have no tendency to -revolt at the iniquities of the system; and thus, while the system is -in itself as corrupting as can well be imagined, it has a tendency to -draw towards it those who are both disposed and qualified for being -corrupted. The specimens of those burghal office-bearers, which I had -seen in the Athens during the King’s visit, were to me a decided proof -of the badness of the system under which they are appointed; and the -derision in which they appeared to be held by the people, and the -pleasure which their disappointments and rebuffs seemed to afford, -told plainly enough the estimation in which they are held; and the -Scotch are by much too prudent and cautious a people not to pitch their -estimate, both of things and of persons, in a very nice proportion to -the value. - -Now, independently of its mischievous political effects, there is -something in this system which is peculiarly injurious to the local -police and improvements of Scotland. If the way in which those -local rulers are chosen gives general offence, and if their own -qualifications be so confessedly inferior as to excite contempt, it -is not possible that the regulations which they frame, even assuming -that they could be good in themselves, could be carried into effect -with that decision, and supported with that cordiality, on the part of -the public, which a wholesome police requires; as little is it likely -that such men, so appointed, could either plan judicious and liberal -improvements, or carry them into execution. Opposed to the people in -their very formation, the people must be presumed to oppose them in -every part of their conduct where opposition is practicable, and so -annoy them in the rest of it as to make them confine themselves to -that--to which indeed the whole spirit of the system is exceedingly -prone--their own personal importance and aggrandizement. - -But it is with reference to the general politics of Scotland as -centring in the Athens, that this system of burghal election exerts -its most pernicious and permanent influence; for whoever chooses to -go to the expense, (and where very weighty purses are not run against -each other that is by no means great,) can purchase the votes of Scotch -provosts, bailies, and counsellors, with as much ease and certainty as -he could do the necks of as many geese. No doubt there are temporary -and local exceptions, just as there have been wise legislators, -upright judges, and generous commanders, in the very worst systems of -despotism; but those exceptions, from all that I could ever learn, have -been so few in number, and so far between, both in space and in time, -as not to diminish the truth of the general likeness. - -If indeed any other proof, than a knowledge of the system, and a sight -of the men, were wanted, to show how extremely convenient a tool those -Scotch burghal magistrates are, in the hands of whatever party has the -political influence in Scotland for the time, that proof would be found -in the great pertinacity with which the official men of the Athens -have fought for the preservation of the system, and the miserable -sophistications to which they have been obliged to have recourse in -order so to disguise it as that it might be at all palatable to the -better informed or more liberal official men in England. Within the -last thirty years, the burgesses of Scotland have made two strong and -almost unanimous efforts to shake it off. They have shown how ruinous -it is to themselves, how degrading to the magisterial office, and how -ill in accordance with that freedom which England boasts. But the lords -advocate and other keepers of--what shall I say?--Ay--their own places, -have worked about it and about it; and “darkened counsel by words -without knowledge,” till some unfortunate circumstance of the times has -enabled them to couple the attempt at its destruction with that with -which it has no connexion--sedition and rebellion against the British -government. The one attempt was spoiled by the breaking out of the -French Revolution, and the disturbances which at that time took place -in Scotland; and the subsequent attempt failed in consequence of those -grumblings of the people, which were occasioned by a time of scarcity -of provisions and want of employment. - -The state of the country representation, and the system of the burgh -government, would be in themselves sufficient to lay the ministerial -party in the Athens open to suspicion, and to fill the rest of the -inhabitants with discontent. But these are heightened by other -circumstances. The judges, and more especially the crown lawyers, have -a power over the people of Scotland, at which Englishmen would stand -aghast. The judges (no matter whether they exercise it or not) have, -directly or indirectly, the power of nominating every one of the jury -by which a Scotchman is tried,--or, if they have not this power in its -full extent now, they had it till very lately. In the case of ordinary -crimes, this power, though a theoretical imperfection, might not be -very dangerous in practice,--because, in ordinary crimes, there is -nothing to entice a judge away from the natural dictates and natural -course of justice; but, in offences of a political description, the -case must be different,--because all or at least a majority of the -judges, being persons who, at some period of their lives, are helped -forward by ministerial influence, cannot be supposed to be entirely -divested of those feelings of gratitude which are natural to all -classes and conditions of men. - -The lord advocate of Scotland is, from the very nature of his office, -much more a political character than any judge. In all questions -between the King and his subjects, or between the people and the -criminal law, he is not only the King’s principal officer, but the -express representative of the King himself; and, except in the truly -kingly and glorious attribute of granting pardon, he has more ample -powers than the King has by the law of England. It is true, that, -through the instrumentality of his attorney-general, the King can -file warrants against such of his English subjects as are guilty of -offences, tending to injure his person, or subvert his government, -and bring them to trial without the intervention of a grand jury; and -it is also true, that this power has been exercised in cases where -neither the person nor the government of the King could have been -in the smallest danger; but still, great as this power is in itself, -and dangerous as the frequent exercise of it is to liberty, it is -nothing in comparison of what the Scotch lord advocate possesses. The -attorney-general is always understood to institute his proceedings in -consequence of a representation from the sovereign himself, or from -the great officers of the state; and, by law, it is strictly confined -to what are called state offences. The lord advocate, on the other -hand, is, of his own pleasure, and without necessary consultation -with any one, not only the public prosecutor in all cases of trial, -but the arbiter who decides who shall or shall not be tried; and, in -the latter capacity, he, of the plenitude of his own power, performs -all the functions of an English grand jury. When a crime, either -against society or against the state, has been committed, or when a -person is suspected of the one or the other description of crime, the -procurator fiscal of the district or burgh, (who, in many instances, -is an ignorant and bungling attorney, whose friends, or whose secret -services, have procured that office for him, as much on account of his -incapacity for making a decent living by the ordinary practice of his -profession, as for any other reason,) takes “a precognition,” that -is, a secret and inquisitorial examination of _ex-parte_ evidence, -which he transmits to the lord advocate as the ground upon which -that officer may or may not proceed, just as he pleases. If it please -the lord advocate that the party thus accused shall be indicted, he -prepares the necessary instruments; and the trial must be begun, if -the party accused shall petition the court for it, within forty days -of his being imprisoned, and held to bail, and finished within other -forty days; but in all cases which come before the lords of justiciary, -either in their sessional court in the Athens, or at their periodical -circuits in the different counties, the lord advocate is substantially -both the public prosecutor and the grand jury that sends the case to -trial. Where a special commission of _oyer_ and _terminer_ is issued -for the trial of persons accused of high treason, a grand jury, of not -fewer than seventeen, and not more than twenty-one, have a power of -returning as true, or ignoring the bills of indictment, if twelve of -their number shall be of that opinion. But, even with this limitation, -the power of the lord advocate, more especially as relates to political -offences, is such as to heighten the animosity, which the state of the -elective franchise is calculated to produce, between the comparatively -small portion of the Scottish people who are influenced by the hope or -possession of office, and the much larger portion who are under no such -influence. - -The distance of the Athens from the seat of the executive and -legislative powers of the empire; and the colouring which it is -possible that a representation may receive from those who carry it to -headquarters, also tend to lessen the confidence which the people of -Scotland might otherwise be disposed to place in the men who form as it -were the official links of connexion between them and their King; and -when it is considered how much connexion and influence can do even at -headquarters, it is easy to imagine how much greater their extent must -be at such an outpost as the Athens. - -There would be no end of a statement of the complaints which I found -the independent Caledonians had to make against their delegated -authorities. From what I saw in the Athens, and from what I heard in my -excursion over the country, I could plainly discover that the people -of Scotland are perhaps more uniformly and more sincerely devoted to -all the better parts of the constitution, and to the person and family -of the King, than the people of England; but I could at the same time -perceive that they felt towards the immediate holders of Scottish power -and office, a much stronger dislike than is to be found in England. At -the same time, they all seemed anxious to make it appear that those -official men wished to identify themselves, and even their failings, -so much with the general government of the country, that they were -ever ready to denounce accusations against themselves as attacks on the -government; and many instances were mentioned to me in which a very -excusable, and, as I would have thought, a very deserved ridicule of a -small man of office, had been considered and represented as the very -next step to levying war upon the King. - -The tendency which the Athenians have to make themselves, their -sayings, and their doings, the grand objects of thought and -conversation, helps to give currency and additional bitterness to -this political rancour. If a scrap of paper which a procurator fiscal -cannot read, or a sharp instrument of which a loyal magistrate cannot -exactly understand the use, happen to be found in any district, more -especially in any of the populous and manufacturing districts of -Scotland, the chance is, that if there be any symptom in the public -mind which sophistry can twist into an attitude of irritation, the one -shall find its way to the Athens as a seditious circular, and the other -as a rebellious pike. The official men of the Athens have no great -knowledge of articles of these descriptions, and as of late years the -lords advocates in particular have not only been a very sensitive and -vigilant race, but have been of those mental dimensions which are the -better for a discovery or two to give them importance, there have, -during those years, been things suspected of rebellious propensities, -which would have been regarded as quite harmless in any other part of -the island. A merchant who has extensive dealings with Russia, and -who is also concerned in the north sea whale fishing, informed me -that in the memorable year 1819, a few letters written in the Russian -character, and two dozen of harpoons, were taken from his warehouse -with great ceremony, forwarded to Edinburgh at considerable expense, -and, as he supposed, cost the authorities there, not only much profound -cogitation among themselves, but an application to the secretary of -state, ere they were sent back to him. Indeed, were I to recount all -the transactions of this description that were mentioned to me during -my residence in Scotland, I should fill several volumes with instances -of the lamentable and ludicrous effects of uninformed zeal in official -men: to record such matters would, however, be an attempt to preserve -the memory of persons and things which no effort could keep from -oblivion. - -In the peculiar politics of the Athens, it struck me, that though there -are only two parties,--the men in office, with their connexions and -dependants, and the men who are not in office,--yet that there are -several distinct grounds of opposition, some of which neither party are -very willing to avow, and therefore they lump them all together in the -convenient cant terms of Tory and Whig. Both parties are radically and -substantially loyal; and both parties, though in different degrees, and -sought for by different measures, may have a regard for the prosperity -of their country generally, and for the glory and aggrandizement of the -Athens, in a particular and pre-eminent degree; but still, their wars -of the tongue, and the unpleasant inroads which these wars make upon -domestic prosperity and happiness, are just as unpleasant as though the -one party were about to draw the sword for absolute despotism, and the -other for blind and indiscriminate democracy. - -The Athenian Tories are perhaps the most place-devoted race in the -British dominions. Office is their god; and, as is sometimes the -case with other devotees, their devotion is fervent in proportion -to the feeling they have of their own unworthiness. In defence of -that which they worship, they have no more variety of voice than the -winged warders of the Roman capitol. Hence, as I said of the burghal -magistracies, they cling to each other, and by that very means separate -themselves more from the people than the necessity of the case -requires. Their strength consists, mainly, in those imperfections of -the elective franchise, and powers of the law officers of the Crown, -to which I have alluded; and as those cannot well be defended in -argument, eloquence is of little use to them, and they seem to have no -great partiality for those who possess it. When they make an attack as -a body, in any other way than through the instrumentality of the law, -(which they can employ only when the waters of society are a little -troubled,) they do it snugly and covertly,--by letting people feel that -they have the dispensing of rewards; by standing between a candidate -and an office for which he is qualified, or by something of a similar -kind. I was told that, at one period, and that not a very remote one, -they would hit a man whose politics they did not like, through the -medium of his banker; but latterly, the will or the power, or at any -rate the practice of this, has been lessened, if not abolished. - -At some periods, indeed, they have shown direct hostilities: they -have spoken and written with considerable loudness, and considerable -license; but the system, at least the local system, of which they -have undertaken the championship, has not furnished them with sound -principles or satisfactory arguments; and their mode of conducting -themselves has shown that they were deficient both in skill and in -tact. They have been exposed, certainly, and ashamed of themselves, -very possibly. - -The Athenian Whigs are a mixed multitude, and though they all agree -in their opposition to the other party, they are by no means agreed -among themselves,--that is, as far as I could discover, they are not -all influenced by the same principles, or seeking the same object. -The party who are in office, have always among their opponents, -and frequently foremost amongst them, a party whose principles and -disposition differ not much from their own--namely, the party who wish -to get in. As, however, those longers for office cannot, like the -enjoyers of office, support themselves by their politics, they have -no principle of union, and therefore do not, like the others, unfurl -the ensigns, and raise the war-cry, as a party. Were they to do this, -it would not only defeat their own object, but cause them to be more -disliked by the independent part of the people, than the persons who -are in possession. Feeding, whether with pudding or with place, has a -tendency to smooth the turbulent passions; while hungering, whether -for food or for office, has an effect exactly the opposite. Hence, -even the Athenian placeman, whose appetite is most ravenous, and who -is prone to snarl at those whom he suspects of a desire to take his -portion from him, is the more civil from being in office, unless when -he thinks that his honours or emoluments are in danger. Upon this -principle, he is kind to those whom he thinks indifferent, and polite, -and occasionally generous, to all whom he imagines can strengthen his -influence, without turning round in the end, and attempting to share it -with him. Hence, also, the place-hunter, I mean him who hunts for it in -opposition to the present holder, is always irritable and jealous, and -keeps his wishes and his plans as much to himself as ever he can. Thus, -such of the Athenian Whigs as would be placemen to the very core, if -they had “good opportunities for the ’ork,” are careful to blend, and -lose if possible, their peculiar propensities, in the general mass of -those who, without any specific or immediate view to their own personal -interest, seek for a reform of what they conceive to be the political -abuses of their country. - -In this way, all that is selfish among the Athenian Whigs can be kept -in the back-ground; and as the principles which they abet are much more -rational in themselves, much more agreeable to the general feelings -of mankind, and much better adapted for declamation, than those which -their opponents profess--when they venture to profess any thing, the -Whigs always have had, and always will continue to have, the best of -the argument, and the finest of the eloquence upon their side. But -though they be by far the most numerous, and the most specious, their -chances of success bear no proportion either to their numbers or -the apparent superiority of their cause. The opposite party have the -command of the public purse, and when the two parties strive, they are -thus enabled to throw the expense of both sides upon their antagonists. -Such are a few of the principles and practices of Athenian politics,--a -war of words, of which it would be no easy matter to define the object, -or calculate the end. - - - - -CHAPTER VI. - -LAW OF THE ATHENS. - - ----“Lawyers have more sober sense - Than t’ argue at their own expense, - But make their best advantages - Of others’ quarrels, like the Swiss; - And out of foreign controversies, - By aiding both sides, fill their purses.”--BUTLER. - - -WHATEVER airs the Athens may give herself in other matters, however she -may boast of her taste and her elegance, talk of her science and her -literature, or cherish the mouldering skeleton of her medical school, -no one can be a day within her precincts without discovering that the -law is her Alpha and her Omega,--the food which she eats, the raiment -she puts on, the dwelling-house which she inhabits, the conversation in -which she engages, the soul which animates her whole frame, the mind -which is discovered in every feature of her countenance, and every -attitude of her body. Once destroy that, or remove it to another place, -and the pride of the Athens would be at an end: you might lodge owls -in all her palaces, and graze cattle in all her streets. - -From the way in which the Scottish courts of law are regulated, -there is hardly a suit from the Solway Firth to the Pentland, or -from Peterhead to the remotest of the Hebudæ, which does not look -toward the Athens, the moment that the litigiousness of a client, or -the machinations of an attorney, call it into existence. I hinted -already, that there is no one thing in which the Athens can now retain -a superiority except the practice of Scotch law; and, as Scotland -increases in wealth, that law is so constructed, that the portion which -the scribes and spouters of the Athens shall be enabled to levy upon -their countrymen must always increase in a greater ratio. Scotchmen are -apt to be proud of the Athens,--to regard her with a portion at least -of that admiration which subjects pay to the pomp of their kings. There -is propriety in this; for there is scarcely a stone in the walls of the -Athenian palaces, or a decent coat in her streets, which has not been -squeezed out of some litigious or unfortunate man of the provinces, -in the shape of a lawyer’s fee. I noticed the power which the crown -lawyers of Scotland have over the liberties and lives of the people; -and the power which lawyers of another class have over the fortunes of -the Scotch lairds, is every jot as ruinous and humiliating. There are -complaints in England, that when once property gets into chancery, the -“infant” becomes grey before he can enjoy it; but the Scottish chancery -is incalculably worse; for the moment that a Scotch proprietor allows -his lands to pass into the keeping of an Edinburgh agent, from that -moment he must lay his account either with losing them altogether, or -purchasing them anew; and to enumerate the heirs of Scottish families, -who are at any time pining away in heart-broken obscurity, or toiling -under the burning suns of the East or the West, in the hope of winning -back a poor fragment of the ample heritage to which they were born, -would require no trifling succession of pages. - -It cannot indeed be otherwise. According to the definition of the -political economists, law is not only unproductive labour in itself, -but wherever it clutches its talons, it tears away the funds by which -more valuable labour should be supported, and distracts and lacerates -the spirit by which those funds should be applied. When a Scotchman -from the country visits the Athens, and sees a long line of costly -buildings mounting up in the air, he may rest assured, that for -every shilling that those buildings cost, and every shilling that -shall be spent in them, he and his compatriots must pay. The Athens -herself,--the overtopping and overwhelming part of the Athens,--that -part which rises by the power, and extends itself by the weight, of the -law, produces nothing whatever. It is as sterile as the Castle rock; -and, were it not for the folly of other people, its ascendency would -not be so great as it makes the Athens feel. This, however, is a matter -for the Scotch themselves; and it sometimes happens, with nations as -well as with individuals, that a deformity or a vice is praised and -cherished, while beauties and virtues are treated with neglect. - -It is matter of trite remark, that very few of the seed of Jacob have -ever taken up their abode in the Athens, and that the few who have -done so, have in a short time been starved to death or to removal; -and it has sometimes been wondered why a people, who have been so -successful in pillaging the other nations of Europe, should have failed -so completely in this instance. A very slight acquaintance with the -Athenian “men of business,” as they are called, will explain the fact, -and resolve the difficulty. The man of business has all the natural -rapacity and cunning of the Jew, and he is at the same time so well -conversant with every quirk and turn of the law, that there is no -possibility of calling him to account for his depredations. - -Those hounds usually pursue their game in couples. There is one who -is called “the dining partner,” whose business it is to watch for -every inexperienced or expensive man of property, who happens to be -spending a few days in the Athens, get invited to the same party with -him, ply him with flattery, and when his weak side is once discovered, -inflame his vanity upon that. Toward the close of the party, when the -wine has circulated with that abundance and rapidity which are common -in such cases, the dining partner becomes large in his professions of -friendship. The victim swallows the bait with avidity; a meeting takes -place in the kennel of the hounds next morning; and a loan of a few -thousand pounds, being upon a first security, is negotiated in a manner -which is quite fair and equitable; but the men of the law, when they go -down to “take their infeftment” over the lands, contrive to suggest so -many improvements that the supply is speedily exhausted; and, as it has -created much more appetite than it has satisfied, another and a larger -supply becomes necessary. The terms of this are a little different: -money, which was in profusion upon the first occasion, is now difficult -to be had. More than the legal interest would invalidate the security; -but matters may be so managed, as to give a bond for payment of the -interest, and repayment of the principal of fifteen thousand pounds, -while ten thousand only is advanced. The gates of ruin are now fairly -opened; loan follows after loan, till the whole value of the lands be -mortgaged, and the whole rents consumed in interest; and when matters -have come to this situation, the men of business press a sale at a time -which they know to be disadvantageous, and thus get into their own -possession property, upon the improvement of which almost the whole -of the sums advanced by them have been expended,--are, in short, much -in the same situation as if they had got a present of the lands, and -only laid out a few thousand pounds for their improvement. It is not -the object of the men of business to retain a great deal of property -in land; so they divide the lands into lots, sell them at a handsome -profit, and retain the freehold qualifications, either to promote their -own political interest, or to part with them for large sums in the -event of a disputed election,--a matter which they are often known to -bring about for this very purpose. Such are some of the blessings which -the legal men of the Athens bestow upon their country, in return for -the fees with which it has previously fattened them. - -But, notwithstanding many examples of this kind, there remains among -that part of the Athenian lawyers, who go by the name of “men of -business,” no small degree, both of talent and of integrity, while, -among the “men of profession,”--the advocates, or members of the Scotch -bar, there are a few, for the reasons that were formerly stated, the -very choicest spirits, not of the Athens merely, but of all Scotland. -Though the occasions upon which these persons display their eloquence -be merely of a private nature,--though a very large proportion of them -have no eloquence to display, or no opportunity for displaying it; yet -the profession of advocate is the only one in Scotland which makes -the professor of it a gentleman; and among the people of the Athens, -of all classes, the special pleaders before the Courts of Session and -Justiciary,--the supreme civil and criminal courts of Scotland, take -a deeper hold of the public mind in the Athens, and engross a greater -share of the public attention, than the orators of St. Stephen’s do in -the British Metropolis. - -One reason of this may be the way in which the different courts are -blended together, and in which business is conducted. The Court of -Session is a court of equity, as well as a court of law; and this is -extremely favourable for the pleader, as the two characters blended -together in the same oration give it a rich and popular character, -which it can never have in the stiff formality of the English courts. -Great part of the pleadings, too, are written; and this not only keeps -the inferior speakers from lowering the general tone of the bar, but -enables the more celebrated to confine themselves to such general -arguments as are best calculated for oratorical display. Another thing: -criminal trials, which are ever the most interesting to the public, -are not managed by the fag-end of the law, as at the Old Bailey; and -the counsel for the prisoner is not limited to legal exceptions in the -course of the trial, cross-questionings of witnesses, and motions in -arrest of judgment and mitigation of punishment, after the jury have -returned their verdict, and are beyond the reach of his eloquence, -however touching or powerful. In the Scotch criminal court, whether in -the Athens or at the provincial assizes, the law itself takes care that -the prisoner, whatever be his crime, shall have the aid of counsel; and -if the crime be remarkable, either from its enormity or on account of -the character or rank of the party accused, then the very first counsel -at the bar are ranged on his side. These are allowed full scope, -both to attack the form of the case _in limine_, and to throw every -suspicion upon the evidence, and make every appeal to the judgments and -passions of the jury, that ingenuity can suggest, or eloquence apply. -The official men who have the conducting of the prosecution, are not -only, generally speaking, men of much smaller abilities than those who -have the conducting of the defence, but upon political grounds, as -well as from that general aversion which men have to the sanguinary -operations of the law, the feeling of the public is opposed to them, -and in favour of their antagonists. - -There was nothing, indeed, with which I ever was better pleased, or in -which I felt Old England so much inferior to her northern neighbour, -as in the conducting of criminal trials. One who is in the habit of -looking in at that great suttling-house for the gallows, the Old -Bailey,--who sees the hurried manner in which the life of a man is, -perhaps justly enough, sworn away,--who listens to the few seconds of -advice, and the few trifling questions put by the counsel to whom the -poor culprit has given the last shilling that he could beg from his -weeping relations,--who marks the anxiety of the counsel till the case -shall come to that point at which he may coldly abandon his miserable -client--the very point at which an appeal to the jury might turn the -scale,--cannot but feel, when he witnesses the slow and pathetic -solemnity of the Scotch courts, that he is among pleaders of other -powers. A case which brings even Theisseger to the bar, is one of no -common importance, and one never by any chance finds the powers of -Brougham, or the acuteness of Scarlett, come in to save a poor man from -death. But when I was in the Athens, there was only one trial for a -capital crime, and yet the legal sagacity of Moncrieff, and the burning -eloquence of Jeffrey, were exerted for full two hours, on behalf of the -prisoner; and exerted, too, in such a manner as convinced me that the -fee must have been the very least part of their inducement. I never -heard objections put with so perfect a knowledge both of the general -principles of law, or the specialities of the particular case, or -evidence so scientifically dissected, as were done by the former; and -the appeal of Jeffrey to the feelings of the jury, and even to those -of the judges, was one of the finest things I ever heard. There are -many men far more learned in the law than this celebrated Scotchman; -and many who can take a far more sweeping and comprehensive view of -a subject; but all the little sallies of which his speech consisted, -were as sharp as needles and as shining as diamonds. Their brilliancy -made you open your bosom to receive them, and their keenness was such -that they would have pierced their way in spite of you. Their effect -upon the crowded spectators, and upon the jury, was tremendous; nor -was the lord justice clerk himself, who seemed not only a very proud -and consequential person in himself, but by no means a hearty admirer -of the barrister, able to resist the influence. Whenever Jeffrey tore -away a pillar of the evidence against his client, and clenched the -advantage by an appeal to those passions which he seemed to know so -well how to touch, there was a general hum of satisfaction in the -crowd; the jurors looked up with eyes of new hope, as much as to say, -“we shall be able to acquit him yet;” and the judge relaxed a little of -the lofty severity of his countenance. - -Another cause why the people of the Athens, and of Scotland generally, -set so high a value upon the Athenian advocates, may be that they are -the only class of persons among whom public speaking is so much as -known. I do not mean to say that the Scotch have no talents for this -kind of display. Quite the reverse; for instead of taciturnity, which -their supposed cautious character would lead one to set down as their -leading propensity, they are the most loquacious people,--I mean the -longest-winded people that ever I met with; having, in their common -conversation, ten times as much _badinage_ and ornament as the English, -and ten times more concatenation of ideas than the Irish. - -But they have no subject to excite public speaking, and no occasion -upon which to exercise it. Elections they have none, not even so much -as a parish-meeting, or a wardmote. The only persons among them that -have the privilege of electing even their own local managers, are “the -Trades,” or little corporations of artificers, in the royal burghs, -who annually choose “deacons;” but they usually do this more by the -eloquence of liquor than of words, and as the deacons are commonly a -sort of pack-horses to the burghal corporation, they fall into most of -the sensual and senseless vulgarity which are the characteristics of -it. Churches and hospitals supported by voluntary contribution, at the -annual festivals of which the contributors may make speeches, there -are none. Indeed, unless a Scotchman were to stand on a hill-side and -address the wind, or on the sea-shore and address the waves, he has no -scope for oratory; and thus, come from what part of the country he may, -the pleadings before the courts at the Athens, are quite a novelty to -him, and he runs after and admires them as such. Thus the total absence -of all eloquence throughout the country, makes a very small portion of -it obtain distinction in the Athens. - -Curious as it is to find a city where every soul is so much absorbed -by the law, that men and women, girls and boys, of all ages and all -conditions of life, season their common speech with the slang of legal -phrases, and destructive of not only all literary and liberal taste, -but of all the joyous intercourse of life, as it is to hear every -night a rehearsal of Jeffrey’s sarcasm, or Cockburn’s joke of the -morning; yet the Parliament-house of the Athens is a spirit-stirring -scene, and very delightful, compared with the gloomy desolation of -Westminster-hall. - -While the courts are sitting it is usually as crowded as the Royal -Exchange at four o’clock, and the hum, and bustle, and eagerness, are -vastly more interesting than the solemn faces and demure looks of -the dealers in tallow and tapioca, who stand under the shadow of the -Grasshopper, with their jaws distended like a trap for foxes, and their -hands up to their elbows in their pockets, as if they could not abstain -from fumbling money, even when the precise minute of bargain has not -arrived. - -It is true that you meet with no Rothschild, or any other pawnbroker -for kings, in this ancient apartment of the Scottish Parliament; but, -if you be more a lover of mind than of money, you are sure to meet with -what will please you a great deal better. Before the Judges have taken -their places in the Inner Courts, you cannot miss the tall figure, the -gleesome grey eye, the snub nose, and all the other characteristics -of the spirit of the wizard and the soul of the man, that mark Sir -Walter Scott. A dozen of chosen friends, some Whig and some Tory, hang -about him; and, as he limps along with wonderful vigour, considering -the irregularity of his legs, peals of laughter ring at every word -which he utters, and a score of fledgling Tory barristers, who have -not yet got either a place or a brief, stretch out their goose necks, -huddle round, and cackle at the echo of that which they cannot possibly -hear. In another place, or rather in all places, the Editor of the -Edinburgh Review starts about like wildfire; and unless it be when an -attorney ever and anon brings him up with the sheet-anchor of a fee -and a brief, there is no possibility of arresting his motion. He darts -aside like lightning, runs over the brief with such rapidity that you -would think he were merely counting the pages of an article for the -Edinburgh Review, and having handed it to his clerk, who seems as heavy -as himself is agile, he again darts into the throng, like an otter into -the waters, and is seen no more till he bring up another gudgeon. - -Wherever you meet with this highly-gifted personage, you are never -at a loss to distinguish him from every body else. His writings, his -speeches, and his face, have the most remarkable family likeness that -I ever met with. All the three seem cut into little faucettes and -angles, which glitter and sparkle in every possibility of light, both -direct and oblique. In the speech and the writing, rich as is the -play of genius on the surface, it bears no proportion to the mass of -intellect which it covers and dazzles; and keen, acute, and purged of -all grossness and obesity, as is the lower part of the face, it bears -no proportion to the expansion of forehead that towers above. Jeffrey -has the most wonderful pair of eyes that ever illuminated a human -visage. Even when he is shooting along like a small but swift meteor -through the crowd in the Parliament-House, they are beaming so as to -force you to turn away your eyes, and if he looks at you, you find -yourself utterly unable to withstand it. When that look is darting for -any important purpose, such as to ascertain whether a witness be or -be not speaking the truth, it is more searching than that of Garrow -even in his best days, so that the most hardened tremble before it, -and are instantly divested of all power of concealing the truth. If, -however, you attempt to repay Jeffrey in his own coin, by working into -his mind with that sharp and anatomical glance which he employs in -dissecting the minds of other people, you find that you are woefully -mistaken. Those eyes, which can penetrate to the bottom of any other -man’s heart, and expose even that part of it which he studies with the -greatest assiduity to conceal, are a perfect sealed book to you; you -cannot see beyond their external surface, and they give you not so much -as a hint of what the owner is thinking, or what he may be disposed to -say or do next. Wonderful as the eyes are, they are perhaps exceeded -by the eyebrows, and certainly two such intellectual batteries were -never alternately masked and displayed in a manner so singular. They -range over a greater extent of surface, and twist themselves into a -more endless variety of curves than is almost possible to conceive, and -while they do so, they express all manner of thoughts, and utter all -descriptions of sentences. Few men have more eloquence in their speech -than Jeffrey, and I have met with none who had half as much in his face. - -Another character in this reeling crowd, which never fails to attract -the attention of a stranger, is that of Robert Forsyth. As far as one -man can be unlike another, he is the very antipodes of Jeffery. He is -large, square, and muscular, more intended by nature, you would think, -for breaking stones on the high road, than for breaking syllogisms -before their Lordships. His face is coarse, broad and flat, and as -immovable in all its muscles as though it had been chiselled out of a -block of granite. As he moves along, he turns his head neither to the -one side nor to the other; and indeed he does not require it, for his -eyes have that divergent squint which enables him at once to scan both -sides of the horizon. The lines of labour are so ploughed across and -across every part of his ample countenance, and they give it so knotted -and so corrugated an appearance, that you can easily perceive he has -followed more occupations, and been attached to more sides of politics -than one. Still there is by no means the quiescence of a mind at ease -upon the strong picture of his visage; the lower part of it is fixed in -something between a half laugh and a half grin, and the upper part has -a firmness about it which tells you he is a through-going lawyer, whom -it will not be easy to turn from his purpose. - -The throng is so great, however, and the variety of faces, gowned and -ungowned, wigged and unwigged, beaming forth every shade of mind, and -betokening every degree of mental vacuity, is so perplexing, that your -eye and your imagination are completely bewildered, and you cannot -attend either to individuals or single groups, while the buz of voices -of so many different tones and pitches give your ears the impression of -a very Babel. - -Business commences; the Lords Ordinary take their seats--in places -which make them look more like as if they were standing in the pillory -than any thing else. But even there, advocates are drudging in their -vocations; agents running backwards and forwards with briefs; clients -watching the result with palpitating hearts; and the Athenian loungers -hanging about, anticipating their Lordships in the decision of the -several cases. The well-employed advocates now put you very much -in mind of shuttle-cocks. They run from bar to bar, making motions -here and speeches there, in the most chaos-looking style that can be -imagined. Of the whole gown and wig mass, it is but a small portion, -however, who are thus occupied; four-fifths of the whole keep trudging -on from end to end of the hall, and seem never to expect or even to -get a fee; while the bar clerks collected round the fire-places keep -up a continual titter at the repetition of all the good jokes of the -day; and the same scene continues day after day, and month after month. -You are astonished that a place, the real business of which is so dull -and so dry, should have charms for so many idle people; but except -this Parliament-house there is not another in-door lounge in the whole -Athens; and as the business of the courts forms the chief topic of -the evening’s conversation, many attend for the purpose of qualifying -themselves for displays upon a very different arena. It is long before -a stranger can bring himself to relish this first and most favourite -of all Athenian pleasures. I, for one, got tired of it in two or three -days, and began to be of opinion that, however much this fondness for -legal proceedings may sharpen the wits of the Athenian idlers, it is -but a sorry treat for those who have no wish either to get rich by the -acting, or wise by the suffering of the law. - -When the business of the day is over, you can perceive the veteran -barristers taking council together as to where they may be joyous for -the night; and the younger legal men of all descriptions hurrying off -toward Princes Street, in order that they may show themselves to the -Athenian fair, before they retreat to drown the daily badgerings in the -nightly bowl. - - - - -CHAPTER VII. - -LEARNING OF THE ATHENS. - - ----“As a dog that turns the spit - Bestirs himself, and plies his feet, - To climb the wheel, but all in vain, - His own weight brings him down again, - And still he’s in the self-same place, - Where, at his setting out, he was; - So, in the circle of the arts, - Do they advance their nat’ral parts, - Till falling back still, for retreat, - They fall to juggle, cant, and cheat.” - - -IF, in her metropolitan status as the seat of Caledonian law, the -Athens be fixed as the dog-star, as the seat of Caledonian learning, -she has been and must be, changeful as the moon. If the wealth of her -lawyers “swells like the Solway,” the renown of her philosophers “ebbs -like its tide.” The very same cause which raises the one,--which makes -all hearts envy, all eyes admire, all knees worship, and all tongues -speak the Babylonish dialect of special pleaders, comes cold and -curdling as December’s ice over every thing else; and though there -may be an occasional spring of the living water of the mind, which -has its source too deep, or its current too thoroughly imbued with -the immortal fire, for submitting to the cold congelation; yet such -glorious instances must be few and far between. Even in the law itself, -there may be green branches, just as there are green branches on the -Upas; but, like the Upas, the law, or indeed any thing else which is -so overpowering in its influence as the law is in the Athens, must in -itself monopolize all the greenness, and etiolate and wither every -thing that attempts to grow under its broad and gloomy shade. Whatever -promises the chief reward will, under any circumstances, always attract -the chief talent; and the state of the whole British dominions, and of -the Athens not less than any other portion of them, is at present such -as not to be exceedingly favourable to the pursuits of abstract and -recondite philosophy. Luxury has found out for all those who have money -to spend without working for it,--whether they have it as a legitimate -heritage from their natural parents, or as the adopted children of that -great nursery-mother of idlers, the state, abundant employment,--full -occupation from every hour that they can snatch from the pangs of -intemperance and the pillow of sleep, not only without profound -philosophy, but without thought of any description that reaches -beyond the enjoyment of the moment; and the number of these persons, -especially the latter division of them, is so very considerable, that, -of the remaining independent portion of the British people, none can -afford to be philosophic or learned upon any other terms than those -of being paid for it,--taking it up, and following it as a trade, -as much as other men do the boring of cannon, or the building of -bridges. That this is unquestionably true of the whole country, may -be established from the philosophical publications, whether regular -or periodical, which make their appearance at the present day. Of the -regular class, there has not, so far as I know, been published, within -the last thirty years, in any part of the British dominions, a single -original work, that will transmit the name of its author to posterity. -There have indeed been books, and books in which there have been the -details of new experiments, and occasionally scraps of theories; but, -like successive days in the kalendar, the one has usurped the place -and extinguished the remembrance of the other; and, at the present -moment, the most unmarketable article which an author could carry to a -bookseller would be a profound treatise on any of the sciences. With -regard to periodical learning again, (I use the word “learning” as -distinguished from and even opposed to literature,) the case is very -nearly the same. The philosophical journals, of all the periodicals, -have the most limited circulation, are the least read, and the least -worth the reading,--just because the proprietors of them cannot afford -to pay for the labour which it would require to make them better. - -Now, if this be the case with the British dominions generally, and with -the British metropolis, where every species of talent has the means of -being stimulated to the greatest exertion, and where every exertion -meets with the most ample reward, much more must it be the case in -the Athens, where there is not only no adequate remuneration for the -labours of learning, but where there is a more honoured and rewarded -pursuit, constantly soliciting the choice, not only of the Athenian, -but of the Scottish talent generally, away from it. It cannot be -hoped, that when a man of very ordinary talents can get a comfortable -living and honourable distinction in society, by managing the estates -of Scotch lairds, or the causes of Scotch litigants, men of superior -ability will consent to starve in obscurity for the love of learning -or of science. Mankind have become to the full as mercenary in their -intellectual as in their civil marriages; and the Athenian muses, like -the Athenian maidens, pine in unwooed neglect, because they have no -dowry. - -The Athenian University was long the boast of the Athens, not only as a -school of philosophy, and a school of medicine, but as a general school -of learning; and, with the exception, perhaps, of the latter, the -titles were, in the case of a few illustrious men, well earned. Those -times have, however, gone by, and the Athenian university, pressed -down by the general circumstances of the Athens, and yet more by the -peculiar circumstances of its own patronage, has sunk to rise no more. - -Universities, indeed, have much of the general character of -stars,--they shine brightest when all else is dark, and fade, if -they do not disappear, when illumination becomes general. While the -people, generally speaking, are ignorant, they are lights in the path -of learning; but when the people become generally well informed, they -are not much better than lumber. This would be their fate in general -illumination, under any circumstances; but it is peculiarly so, in the -circumstances under which--or rather, in spite of which, knowledge is -at present spreading over the British dominions. The same cause which -renders abstract studies unprofitable, must render the systems of -universities unpopular, except in so far as the name of being there is -necessary for professional purposes; and where the name is all that men -actually need, they will not burden themselves with much of the thing -named. If it were not that there are such things as fellowships, fat -dinners, facilities for juvenile dissipation, church and other livings, -a key to certain offices, and a general nominal eclât, which in so far -serves as a substitute for real information, it is very possible that -several halls in Oxford and Cambridge would be abandoned to bats and -spiders,--that “the two eyes of England” would be left “for daws to -peck at;” and it was pretty plain to me, from the general tenour of the -Athenian feeling, as expressed in the Athenian speech, that, if the -attendance of certain classes of her university were not required for -those who plaster the consciences of Caledonian sinners, and who bring -down the tone of the Caledonian pulse, or the Caledonian purse, her -learned Thebans would be allowed to deliver their prelections to the -stones in the wall, and the beam of the timber. In as far, therefore, -as I could see and reason from circumstances, there is much, both in -the feeling of the people in the Athens, and in the causes by which -that feeling is produced, to render the decline of learning certain -on the one hand, while there is little or nothing of a counteracting -tendency on the other. - -In addition to this, in as far as the university is concerned, there -is the infliction of perhaps the very worst patronage that could be -devised or even imagined. I have noticed already, what a precious -piece of work the corporations, or, as they are termed, “the councils” -of the royal burghs are in Scotland. In itself, there is nothing to -render that of the Athens better than any of the others; and, in close -juxtaposition with it, there is something which tends to make it worse. -The whole town-councils in Scotland are, their attention to their own -personal interests excepted, ignorant, unreasoning, and passive tools -in the hands of the ruling faction. If the actual leaders of that -faction have not their actual residence in the Athens, it is there that -they find the hands which do their work. Those hands belong to men, who -not only have a better education than the Athenian magistrates, but who -perform more important functions, and perform them in the face, and for -the weal or the woe of the whole of Scotland. To them, therefore, the -magistrates of the Athens are inferior; and this circumstance, taken in -conjunction with the inferiority which the whole system of the Scotch -burghs tends to stamp upon the magistrates, renders the said civic -rulers of the Athens the most unfit patrons of a school of philosophy, -or indeed of any thing learned or liberal, that human imagination -could devise. Not only this; but the superior talents, at least the -superior pretensions, of the other functionaries alluded to, will throw -the civic worthies into their train as followers; and thus, whatever -patronage they exercise, will have to sustain, in addition to their -own sheer dulness, the dead deadening weight of the party politics of -the country,--a combination of stupidity and slavery, under which that -system were either greater or less than human, which could flourish in -a rational and liberal manner. - -When it is known that the provost, bailies, counsellors, and deacons -of the Athens,--seldom men of any education, and never men of any -genius,--_cum avisamento eorum ministrorum_, (which, being interpreted, -signifies “without benefit of clergy,”) have the sole power of electing -the greater number of professors in the Athenian university,--when it -is considered that the remaining ones are nominated by the crown, in -other words, by the leading faction in Scotland for the time,--and -when it is borne in mind that the said provosts, bailies, counsellors, -and deacons, are little else than a pair of bagpipes, upon which the -said faction discourses whatsoever music it chooses,--it will become -but too apparent, that the chances of having the professors’ chairs -filled by the very fittest men possible are about as small as can well -be estimated. That ignorant men should have the power of appointing -professors of learning is in itself a very great absurdity; and that -the ignorant men to whom such a power is delegated, should themselves -be tacked to the tail of a political faction for the purpose of -retaining places, contrary both to reason and their own abilities, -makes the matter, theoretically considered, a great deal worse. I have -no wish to accuse the civic archons of the Athens of wilful abuse in -the exercise of this patronage; but I have seen them, I have heard -them speak, and I have noticed the estimation in which they are held; -and, by a very charitable induction from all these circumstances, I -cannot help coming to the conclusion, that they are totally incapable, -of their own knowledge, of determining who is, or who is not, a fit -person for being porter to the Athenian college, far less professor of -the humblest art or science held forth upon within its walls, not even -excepting the professor of agriculture, or, as he is aptly termed, “the -doctor of dunghills.” - -Accordingly, though in times past, and not very long past, there have -been found, in sundry chairs of the Athenian university, men who -would have done honour to any college in any country, I looked for a -continuation of men of the same talents and eminence; but though I -looked for them, I found them not. The time has not long gone by, when -the principal of that university was numbered, if not with the most -learned and profound, at least with the most elegant of historians; -but I should be glad to be informed of what person, or thing, or -circumstance, the being that I found holding the supreme sway in -the Athenian university, and in its metropolitan name, presenting -himself before the King, as a specimen and representative of all the -universities of Scotland, could write the history. It is true, that -the office of this person is not much else than a sinecure, as he -seldom comes before the public, except when his name stands rubric to -a diploma; but, if an image is found with a wooden head, people are -apt to turn away, without any very much examination of the limbs. It -is said, more wittily than wisely perhaps, among the fledglings at the -seats of science in the south, that “whatever may be the walls, the -heads of houses are most commonly of lead;” and the saying might be -carried to the Athens, if it were worth the trouble. I was told that, -if at some former point of Athenian history, this personage had not -been a bachelor, and the daughter of a quondam provost of the Athens -a damsel to be wooed, the college of the Athens might have gone all -unprincipaled for him; but the Athenians are so prone to drill holes in -the glory of each other, that one never knows how much of their story -to believe. - -Still, if the nomination of the masters of Eton and Winchester, and the -doctors of Isis and Cam, were deputed to the corporation of London, -England would tremble for her learned fame; and yet no one can deny -that the court of aldermen, notwithstanding the mental and corporeal -obesity of which they are accused, are far more promising patrons for -such purposes, than the town-council of the Athens. Their own election -depends upon a greater number of persons, and before they can carry it, -they must have some superiority over the freemen of their ward,--the -means of flattering and bribing them, if nothing else; but, in the -Athens, there is not the smallest test of talent previous to a man’s -being chosen an elector of professors; and, therefore, no pledge that -he either will or can exercise that function in a proper manner. - -The “_avisamentum eorum ministrorum_” has no tendency to amend the -matter; for the advice which these worthies are most likely to give, -is, that themselves are the fittest of all possible professors,--a -proposition, of which the theoretical doubts are great, and they are -not lessened by experience. - -The ministers of the Edinburgh kirks, appointed by the same persons -as the professors, may be presumed to be appointed upon the same -principles; and thus, though they were conjoined with the others, -in the university nominations, it would be but an increase of the -evil,--the addition of the political son to that of the political -father; or, as Professor Leslie would express it, “a combination of -direct and retroflected dulness.” - -In consequence of these circumstances, the _eorum ministrorum_ have -usurped every professor’s chair in the Athenian college which can be -by any sophistry twisted into a compatibility with the functions of -a minister of the Kirk. After the very Reverend personage who, as -aforesaid, groans under the load of the principality (not of Wales), -the chairs, not only of divinity, church history, and Hebrew, but of -logic and rhetoric, and the belles lettres, are in the hands of the -Athenian priests. Now, though a parson _in esse_ be the most likely -person to teach divinity and church history, because those who are -parsons _in posse_ are the only persons that are likely to dip deeply -into such studies; though, in a country where Jews do not thrive, it -be a matter of no great moment who shall teach Hebrew, and though -logic and rhetoric, as they are usually taught, be no weighty matters, -yet there are substantial reasons why no officiating clergyman in the -Athens should hold any chair whatever in the college. - -In the first place, the Kirk of Scotland, at least according to her -book of discipline, recognises no clergyman who does not perform the -whole of his duties in his own person. She will have no “dumb dogs who -cannot bark,” and if they bark to the extent that she points out, they -will have no strength left even to hunt syllogisms in _Bar-ba-ra_, -or to nozzle up Hebrew roots. The minister of the Kirk is, by its -constitution, presumed not only to reside in his parish, and perform -divine service every Sunday, but to devote the whole of the week, that -is, as much of _every_ day of it, as other men of a similar rank in -life are supposed to devote to business, to visiting his people at -their houses, and receiving their visits at his own, instructing and -catechising the young, recommending the destitute to the charity of -the Kirk Session, praying by the bed-side of the dying, and performing -a number of other little offices of religion and charity, which -are supposed to be imperiously binding upon him in virtue of his -solemn vow of ordination. Ministers of the Kirk are furthermore not -understood to purchase their annual stock of “_Conciones Selectæ_” in -the booksellers’ shop, as is the case in some other places; and thus -every spare hour from the parochial duties of the week is presumed to -be taken up in preparing for the pulpit duties of the Sunday. Hence -a minister of the Scottish Kirk, who is in the possession of a cure, -cannot, in conscientious accordance with the oath that he takes when he -is inducted, or with the practical duties which he ought to perform, -accept of a professorship even of divinity or Hebrew. Either the -church-living should be such as to occupy by its duties and reward by -its emoluments, the whole of the incumbent’s time, or it should be so -altered as to bring it to this state. - -With regard to the professorships, again, it is extremely doubtful -whether even such of them as divinity and church history can be -profitably placed in the hands of the parsons; at any rate, one would -very naturally think that the duties of a professor’s chair should -be sufficiently arduous for occupying the whole of a mind as large -as that which falls to the ordinary run of clerical persons; while, -in the case of those of logic and rhetoric, the arts required in the -Parliament-House, the grand theatre of logical wrangling and rhetorical -display, not only in the Athens, but for all Scotland, the clumsy -concatenation and leaden style which I heard, even in the Athenian -pulpits, are strong presumptive evidence against the propriety of -having them intrusted to clerical hands. - -But it is not to those professorships alone that _eorum ministrorum_ -aspire. Not many years have gone by since the whole Athens was -thrown into confusion, because one of the brethren was not permitted -to squelch his carcass into the chair of mathematics, and become -the successor of MacLaurin, and Stewart, and Playfair; and had he -succeeded, the Athenians would perhaps ere now have had a clerical -expounder of “Dirlton’s Doubts” in the chair of law, and a holder -forth in the Tron Kirk wielding the anatomical scalpel during the -week. The objections taken to the better-qualified candidate upon that -occasion, were such as to throw considerable light upon the feeling of -_eorum ministrorum_ toward the university, and to enable one to form a -pretty accurate guess at what will be its state if their unquenchable -longing for it shall ever be fully satisfied. The exception which they -took was a grave charge of infidelity, founded upon an allusion to -David Hume, contained in a note to a purely philosophic book, and a -book, too, which, both from its subject and its style, was never likely -to get into general circulation, and would be read by nobody, merely on -account of the note--the only part which was impugned as being contrary -to the canons of orthodoxy. - -It must be allowed that, if its patronage were at all in decent hands, -the constitution of the Athenian university is not bad. The salaries -of the professors are all so small that if the livings are worth the -acceptance of men of talent, they must be chiefly made up of the small -annual fees payable by the students. This is a very wholesome plan, and -tends more to reward every one according to his real merits than that -which obtains at most other places. The patronage, however, with the -three elements of civil ignorance, political influence, and clerical -intrigue, arranged against the single and undefined good of the -institution, is more than enough to paralyze all the good which that -principle, properly supported, or even let alone, would be capable of -effecting. - -Those evils have begun to pervade the whole system. As the Athens -is the grand seat of lawyers, there will always be students for the -law classes, increasing with the increase that there is for lawyers; -but in every thing else the poison of decay has been infused, and -the decay itself has become visible. With the exception of Leslie, -who has written some very flaming articles in the Edinburgh Review, -and some books in which the path to geometry is made a little more -thorny than ever; of Jamieson, who has been most learned on slate and -granite; and Wilson, who has indited some pretty lake poetry, and -some pitiful political prose, of which he is said to be now highly -ashamed,--I did not hear that any of the Athenian professors have put -in a single claim for immortality. Even in her anatomical school, that -upon which she rested her fame the longest and the most securely, the -recent falling off has been great; and of all those who now shine in -the lists of her _senatus_ there is none able to hold the book for -Gregory, or the scalpel for old Monro, or light the furnace for Black. -I understand that for the fragments of her medical school that remain, -the Athens is almost wholly dependant upon private lecturers; that -the students pay their fees and enter their names at the college, not -with any view of attending the classes there, but because the fees -and entries are necessary for the ceremony of graduation. But for the -celebrity of her professors, the Athens possesses no advantages as -the locality of a medical school. From the nature and pursuits of the -Athenian society, there is neither that variety of patients, nor that -variety of cases, which is found in cities even of equal population, -where a large portion of the people are engaged in manufactures. That -it is as good in this respect as Glasgow begins to be doubted, as a -considerable number of medical students now attend the Glasgow college -in preference; and that it is any way comparable to London, as a school -of surgery, no one can suppose. If the medical glory of the Athenian -college continue to decrease as it has done for some time, that college -will soon become, like the Athens herself, a pensionary upon the law -and the politics of Scotland. - -But if there be those causes of mortality in the college, there is -not much hope of life in any of the other philosophic institutions of -the Athens. Royal societies are no where much better than coteries -of old wives; and, judging from their recent pursuits, that of the -Athens can form no exception to the general character. That a poet -and novelist should be the president of such an institution, is proof -that the number of Athenian philosophers cannot be great; and however -successful and deserving of success such a person may be in his other -and lighter capacity, he is not the most likely man to give soundness -and solidity to the speculations of philosophers. The fact is, that -with the exception of the teacher of a class, and the editor of an -Encyclopedia, (who are of course but very heavy and humdrum persons,) -and a wisdom-struck squire or two, who take to the amusement of the -small philosophy of mosses and muscle-shells rather than the small -carpentry of snuff-boxes and fiddles, and who would be quite eclipsed -in any other place, there is nothing in the Athens which can be called -an amateur philosopher, and of the professional ones I have already -spoken. - -In their philosophical opinions, the Athenians are an absolute -pendulum; and when the history of their swingings this way and that -way is looked at, they seem to be a pendulum which has no continued -stimulus of motion, but of which the oscillations, though not fewer in -number, gradually become more and more insignificant in range. While -David Hume was lord of the ascendant, the Athenians doubted every thing -but their own wisdom and importance; under Adam Smith, they considered -“moral sentiments” as being valuable only in “theory,” and learned -“economy” in their “politics,” by bringing all their disposable votes -and vices to the best market. Under Robertson, they knew all history; -and with Blair, every sentence was taken from the storehouse of the -Belles Lettres, and measured by the gauge of Rhetoric. When Reid and -Dugald Stewart turned the tables upon the sceptics, the Athenians were -entirely composed of intellectual or of active powers, and they were -drawn and held by the sweetest cords of association. With Playfair, -they attempted to go quietly to the very depth of philosophic systems; -and anon, they started to the moon with Dr. Brewster. While Leslie was -new, they burned and sweated with him in all the ardour of radiant -caloric; and now they lie upon mossy banks, prepared for them by -Brewster, Jamieson, and Sir George, and listen to the tales of Sir -Walter, or to the ghost stories of Dr. Hibbert. Thus have opinions -changed, and importances have faded away; but the Athenians have in -their nature remained the same. So change the phases of the moon, now -beamy, anon blank; now pushing her horns eastward, now westward,--but -still the same dark globe, without light save that which it has at -second-hand from another. - - - - -CHAPTER VIII. - -LITERATURE OF THE ATHENS. - - _Pol._ What do you read, my lord? - _Ham._ Words, words, words! - _Pol._ What is the matter, my lord? - _Ham._ Between who? - _Pol._ I mean the matter that you read, my lord. - _Ham._ Slanders, Sir. - - SHAKSPEARE. - - -IF there be nothing by which the Athens really profits so much as her -law, there is nothing of which she is so ready, or so willing to boast, -as her literature. That is, as it were, her Benjamin--her youngest-born -child--the darling of her dotage, so to speak; and it is loved and -lauded in proportion to the lateness of its appearance. - -In the whole literature of Scotland there is, indeed, a wonderful -hiatus,--an interruption, for which it would be impossible to account, -if one were not to look at her political and religious history. -Previous to the Reformation, the bards of Scotland sung as sweetly, -and her monks were as full and fabulous in their chronicles as those -of any other part of the world; and that dawn of intellect--that -day-spring of the mind, shone as warmly and as well upon the bleak -hills of Caledonia, as upon the green pastures of more fertile lands. -The classical elegance, and the keen and searching satire of Buchannan, -the stern and stubborn eloquence of Knox, and the polished but manly -sentences of Melville, will bear a comparison with any thing that -appeared contemporaneously in other countries: but after them, there -comes a dreary and desolate blank; and while other nations are rapidly -running the career of knowledge, adding book to book, and illustrious -name to illustrious name, Scotland appears not in the catalogue, except -in a manner which is even more melancholy than if she appeared not at -all. How is this to be accounted for? In theory it would be impossible: -with the facts before one, it becomes the easiest thing in the world. - -No sooner had the morning of the Reformation shone upon Scotland, than -her horizon was obscured by the clouds of civil war; and scarcely -were her men prepared for taking up the pen for the information and -amusement of their fellows, when they were obliged to draw the sword -for their defence; and that energy which in happier times would have -trimmed the lamp of science, and tuned the harp of song, was obliged -to struggle night and day, if so be that it could preserve but a spark -of liberty, or even keep the life. That despotism and debauchery, which -Mary the Regent and Mary the Queen attempted, through their French -connexions, and by means of their French mercenaries, to introduce -into Scotland, was of itself sufficient to render the intellectual -improvement of the country stationary for an age; and though the -resistance with which it met tended not only to preserve but to -strengthen the free spirit of the people, it forbade the cultivation of -the arts of peace. The conduct of James, all shuffling and pedantic as -it was, did not, while he remained in Scotland, tend to make matters -improve; and upon his removal to England, Scotland may be said to -have been given up to that delegated despotism of influence, which, -under various forms and names, has continued to afflict her to the -present day, and must so continue till an uniformity of civil and -political law be established over the whole island. From the beginning -of the troubles under Charles, to the Revolution in 1688, the state -of Scotland was such as to leave literature entirely out of the -question. The great body of the people--at least of that part of them -who otherwise might have studied, or rewarded the study of literature, -were not only driven from all places congenial for literary purposes, -but even from the fastnesses of the mountains, and the caves of the -rocks; and though a Scotchman was occasionally returning from foreign -parts to let his countrymen know what the rest of the world were doing, -terror and oppression were too general for promoting any imitation. -At that time, too, one half the extent of Scotland was in a state of -the most abject ignorance: the feudal law, in the Highlands, was in -full exercise; and when all the chiefs could not read, it was not to -be expected that there would be much taste for literature among their -vassals. Thus, it was not till the termination of the second rebellion -in favour of the Stuarts, in 1745, that the people of Scotland -generally began to have a literary taste. A sure foundation for such a -taste had, indeed, been previously laid, in the provision that within -every parish in Scotland there should not only be a school, but a -school so regulated as that the poorest, as well as the most opulent, -might reap the benefit of it; but up to this period, and indeed for -some time after, the literature of those schools was confined to the -catechisms of the church and the reading of the Bible; and if any -literary work found its way into a Scotch farm-house or cottage, if -large, it was a treatise on mystic or polemical divinity, and if small, -it was a legendary ballad, or a sermon by some pious divine, whose -style was not the most classical, or his language the most easily -understood. - -It is not, indeed, fifty years since there was any thing like a regular -bookseller, or a printing-press employed for literary purposes, in -the Athens. Before that time, there were persons who sold Bibles, and -catechisms, and ballads, and penny almanacks, in divers nooks about -Libberton Wynd and the Lucken Booths; and there were printers who, -when a process before the Court of Session became too voluminous, or -when the parties could not afford to pay for as many written copies as -were necessary, put the eloquence of the advocates, and the wisdom of -the judges, into types. An occasional parson, too, would become so far -enamoured of his own powers of holding forth, as to have a sermon, or -homily, upon some question of the catechism, or point of the confession -of faith, printed and published; but previous to the year 1780, it was -very rare indeed to find an Athenian bibliopole speculating in any -literary work, the price of which was to be more than sixpence; and as -for paying a man for literary labour, the Athenians would as soon have -thought of paying a Lapland witch for procuring foul weather. - -With regard to the literature of the Athens, it is worthy of remark -that the time of George the Third corresponded with that of Anne in -England; and that when the style of writing south of the Tweed was -changing to another, if not to a better model, the wits of the Athens -were imitating the Tatlers and Spectators. - -The era of the French revolution was a remarkable one in the -literature, if not particularly of the Athens, at least of the rest of -Scotland; and the reading of the pamphlets of that time, which probably -the people would have been as well without, led to the establishment of -subscription libraries throughout the country, and made those readers, -and in some measure critics, in general literature, whose whole course -of study had previously been theological. But until very recently, the -periodical literature of the Athens was hardly deserving the name. The -Athenian newspapers were always dull and spiritless, and while the -politics of the Athens remain what they are, there is no chance that -they shall become better. In the provincial parts of Scotland, I met -with several journals written with great taste, spirit, and liberality; -but in the Athens, there is only one worth naming,--the “Scotsman;” and -that, whether through fear of the party or from what other cause, I -know not, I found not to be such as I would have expected. I found it a -sensible production, certainly, and as much superior to the others as -can well be imagined; but it is by no means what would be expected from -people pretending to so much intellect, and freedom, as the party by -whom it was supported. - -If the “Scotsman” had appeared in London, it would not have produced -almost any sensation. It would have been allowed to take its place -far down in the list of weekly journals; but in the Athens, I was -told that it excited no small degree of alarm among the official men. -Just about that time, a blow had been given to that bank influence by -which they had been in the habit of crushing every opponent to their -measures, whom they could not get indicted and brought to trial; and -this, together with the strong and general feeling against them that -was at that time spread over the country, and the appearance of a free -journal, even at the very seat of their power, which dared not merely -to dispute their principles, but even to expose their practice, was -enough to alarm those who were not accustomed to any opposition, and -whose hands were understood to be not over and above clean. When the -early numbers of the “Scotsman” were distributed over the city, spies -were appointed to dog the messengers, and take a note of those at whose -houses copies were delivered; and it was generally believed that the -lists were transcribed for the edification both of the crown lawyers -and of the Athenian magistrates. - -But the greatest and most extraordinary step that ever was taken in -the periodical literature of the Athens, or indeed of any country, was -the appearance of the Edinburgh Review,--a work, the boldness, spirit, -and originality of which were at the time altogether unprecedented, -and which never yet have been, and probably never will be, equalled. -The Edinburgh Review was happy both in the time and the manner of its -appearance. Periodical literature had been quite stagnant in the Athens -from the time of the Loungers and Mirrors; and they had become too -trifling for the awakened and agitated spirit of the age. In London -there were some reviews, but the best of them were in the hands of -religious sectaries, who puzzled themselves and plagued their readers -with questions which nobody could solve, and nobody would have taken -the trouble to solve, even if they could. The whole of them were either -tame or timid; and folks continued to buy them rather with a view of -keeping their sets unbroken till chance should introduce amendment, -than from any desire to read them. The war which had just terminated -had been expensive, and excepting those for whom offices had been -obtained, there was nobody with whom it had ever been popular; and -the war that was beginning, or begun, had not much to recommend it. -There was, indeed, much to say against the conduct of the Continental -courts, and even against that of the English administration; people -were well prepared and anxious to hear it; and there was no publication -of the day of sufficient interest in any way to divide or divert the -attention. The Review came like thunder; and to give it the more -effect, it came like thunder when the air is still, and when men are -listening. - -Great, however, as was the talent displayed in the Review, and wide and -wonderful as was the sensation which it produced upon its very first -appearance, the Athens had little merit in it, except the mere name. -The publisher, though he subsequently rose as high in that trade as -any English publisher of the time, was then but a young man, not much -known, and not much recognised or esteemed by the Athenians; the editor -was also a young man, recently returned from England; and the most -spirited contributors to the very early numbers, had by no means had -their minds formed upon the Athenian model. The effect which the Review -produced was also not perhaps so great in the Athens as in London; -and it was only when it had taken its place in the literary world, -and the acknowledgment of it was an honour, that the Athenians began -to identify it with themselves, and at no time was the identification -general,--nor could the whole talent of the Athens, even when in its -best days, have supported the Review for a single year. - -Besides, though the real ability of the Edinburgh Review was great, -the vast popularity which it so speedily obtained, and the brilliant -course which it ran, were unquestionably more owing to the novelty of -its plan, and the fact of its advocating those political principles -which were agreeable to the majority of people at the time, than to its -merits. - -One cause of the rise of the Edinburgh Review, and perhaps also one -cause of its comparative fall, is the uniformity with which it has -all along followed the Whig party. Before that party got into office, -and when, in consequence of their boldness and lofty pretensions as -oppositionists, the opinions of the Edinburgh Review,--at least, its -political opinions,--which were all along the ones upon which the -greater part of its celebrity rested,--were by many received as the -infallible oracles of truth; and when the trial which the country had -had of that party shook them a little in public estimation, though -the Review received a shock along with them, it still retained a -considerable portion of its influence. But, as the opinions of men -became a little more liberal, and the frequency of disappointment -made them more and more suspicious of all parties, some Jesuitical -articles in the Review, on the subjects of representation and reform, -shook the confidence of the people in it; while, much about the same -time, or, at least, not long afterwards, the failure of its prophecies -with regard to the ultimate success of Buonaparte, laid it open to -the attacks of the Tories. For the first of these suspicions, there -appeared to be but too much foundation; and though the latter was more -Jesuitical than just, still it was the interest of the parties to press -it to extremity. When the Edinburgh Review predicted the ultimate -triumph of Napoleon, it did not, of course, anticipate, that he would, -with the example of Charles XII. before him, undertake so hazardous -an enterprise as a winter campaign into the interior of Russia; but -the Review did not enter a caveat against such an excursion; and, -therefore, it was held as prophesying in the face of this as well as of -all the other chances. - -I have noticed those circumstances with a view of showing, not only -that the absolute literary merits of the Edinburgh Review were not the -sole cause of its popularity, but that even though they had, the merit -does not in whole, or even in the greater part, belong to the Athens. -The Athens never could, of her own will, ability, and patronage, -support a single literary man; and it could not well be expected that -she could, for any length of time, support a literary work. - -The first of these positions may be established by a reference to the -history of the whole literary men of the Athens, as well as to the -state which they are in at the present time; and the second, besides -being a necessary and legitimate deduction from the first, may be -confirmed by an appeal to the facts. - -Allan Ramsay was the first Athenian writer, after the hiatus of which -I have spoken; and Allan addressed himself as much to the taste -and foibles of the Athens as it was possible for one of so limited -education and limited powers to do. Allan made a comfortable living; -but he did not make that as a poet; he did it, first, as a hairdresser, -and then as a bookseller, and as the keeper of a circulating library, -which, being the first of the kind in the Athens, proved a most -fortunate speculation. The works of Colin Maclaurin, and some of the -other illustrious men, of which the Athens never was worthy, were put -into circulation as much in the way of charity to their families, -as from any love for those sciences and arts of which they were the -ornaments. - -Robert Ferguson was pre-eminently the poet of the Athens. Born within -her walls, he devoted his muse to the chanting of her praises; and how -did she reward her tuneful son? Why, she blamed him because he wrote -verses rather than law papers; she liked his songs, and she sung them; -but she would give him no reward for his labour; and poor Ferguson, -neglected, heart-broken, and starved, ended his days in a mad-house; -and his ungrateful step-dame, the Athens,--that city, which, if one -would be silly enough to believe her, is the model, the encourager, -and the rewarder, of all taste, would not do for him, what England, -even in her worst and most worthless times, did for the poets whom -she starved,--she would not give him a monument,--no, not so much as -an unhewn stone, to let it be known that one grave in the Canon-gate -church-yard contained holier dust than that of a baron bailie. - -Even when the immortal Burns came, to shame a selfish, -undiscriminating, and ungrateful land, the Athens made not the -slightest attempt to wash out the foul stain which she had given -herself in the case of Ferguson. Burns put her in mind of that stain, -not only by the erection of the little tomb-stone over his unfortunate -brother; but in a monument more durable,--a poem, which, had there -been any soul within the cold ribs of the Athens, would have harrowed -it with remorse, that might have been a stimulus to repentance. But -the Athens took it all with that sang-froid which is the concomitant -and the characteristic of reckless and self-sufficient dulness; and -no where in the whole history of literature, is there an instance of -neglect more mean, and ingratitude more disgraceful, than that of the -Athens, for Robert Burns. She lured him, by fair promises, within her -siren and seductive walls. Day after day, and week after week, she -dipt him deeper in that dissipation, of which she knows better how to -set the example than any city between Kent and Caithness. She showed -him about, from tavern to tavern, from one evening party to another, -and through every one of her hundred scenes and sinks of vice; and -this precious work she continued, till the prospects which he had left -behind were blasted, and his own powers and habits spoiled; and the -moment she had done this, she had the baseness, not only to drive him -helpless back upon the world, but to slander his name for practices -which none but herself had taught him. - -In a word, when I look at the literary men, whom evil stars have -confined to the Athens, or, in any way made to look to her for -patronage, I find a few who have succeeded, because it has not been in -her power to injure them; and all upon whom she has had power, lost and -ruined. Even Jeffrey, if he had not had his fees to bear him out, and -if his journal had not been patronised in London, might have written -his Review in vain; ay, and Scott, who perhaps persevered longer in -writing in obscurity than any other author of the present times, -would long ere now have been mute or a maniac, had he not possessed -some property, held a public office, and been a fierce and forward -party-man. Among them all, there has never been an author in the Athens -who has lived even decently by literature alone,--as little is there, -at this moment, within the whole of her compass, a single person above -starvation, who has not some other occupation or emolument, than that -of a literary man. - -The Edinburgh Review, the only periodical work of any consequence in -the Athens which professes to be liberal, and which rests its character -upon its merits, and affords a revenue to any body, does not support -one literary man in the city, nor is there one Athenian contributor to -it, of whom literature is the only or even the chief means of support. -Even the editor, well as it is alleged he is paid for his labour, finds -the wrangling of the bar a more lucrative employment, addicts himself -more and more to it, and more and more withdraws himself from the -Review; while the place of those Athenian writers of the higher class -who have died away, without being followed by successors worthy of -them in their avowed professions, are not replaced in the journal by -Athenian writers at all, but by mere hacks of London, who have been so -long upon the town that nobody sets much store by their lucubrations. - -The oldest literary journal in the Athens,--the one which was once -named after the whole of Scotland, and which is now named peculiarly -after the Athens, is perhaps the one which should be taken as the -proper test of her literary powers. - -Professing to be of no party in politics, but to set forth the -literature of the day in an independent and gentleman-like style, -and having the stamp of hoary eld, and the connexion of the foremost -bookseller of the Athens to recommend and push it into notice, one -would suppose that the Edinburgh Magazine would be elegant in its -structure, and extensive in its circulation. But it is neither the one -nor the other. When I was in the Athens, the reputed editor was one of -those miserable and pretending quacks who can write nothing, and whose -taste and opinion are not worth a single straw,--a fellow, who would -indeed pretend to an intimacy with the illustrious men both of England -and of Scotland, but who never, by any chance, could have been in -company with one of them; and who had been appointed to this miserable -editorship, because nobody who could write a single page, or give a -sensible opinion upon a single book or subject, could be found, that -would have any thing to do with it. - -The great success of the Edinburgh Review tempted the cupidity of -other booksellers; and, as there was no possibility of contending with -it in the same class of writing, or on the same side of politics, a -journal of a novel description, not only in the Athens, but in the -world generally, was begun. The celebrity of the Review, and the -superiority of the Whig advocates, had given a Whig bias, at least as -far as speech was concerned, to all the young lawyers of any spirit -and pretensions. To so great a degree had this been carried, that even -the sons of the most super-ultra devotees to the existing system spoke -against sinecures, and hinted that there were such things as the rights -of the people. Great alarm was the consequence; because the holders of -office found that they would be spoiled of their honours and emoluments -through the liberality of their own children. The fear was, no doubt, -groundless; for had they taken themselves as a test of patriotism, -they would have found that office and emolument are not things of such -feeble power. But they were alarmed, and cast about to devise means -for reclaiming the wandering boys back to the good old and profitable -path. There was a sort of simultaneous movement on the part of the boys -themselves. They had taken up the Whig song, just because it was the -popular one at the time; and they had looked for a share of that public -approbation and renown, which had for a considerable time been bestowed -upon the more illustrious of the Whigs. But they were disappointed: -either they had made an undue estimate of their own powers, or the -demands already established upon this approbation and renown were as -great as it could bear. Considering the quarter whence these unnatural -infants of place came, they were probably suspected,--at any rate, -they were left for a few years, dancing attendance at the heels of the -Whigs, in a neglect more contemptuous and complete than was wise in the -one party, or fair toward the other. - -This happened just about the time when there was a sort of movement -against the Whigs on the part of the Tories, and a sort of movement -from them on the part of the people. An appetite was, in short, -created, which called for food different from the sapless husk of the -Edinburgh Magazine, and the hard and political fare of the Review. -Various causes conspired to give body to this appetite; and Blackwood’s -Magazine was the thing produced. Still the party would not have had -courage actually to start that Magazine; for there was a sort of -belief afloat, that anybody, who would venture to publish in the Athens -that which was not Whig, would fail, and anybody who would attack the -Whigs would be mauled for his pains. The Magazine was started by very -plain and unpretending--at any rate, unwarlike Athenian men of letters. -They had a misunderstanding with Blackwood; he got rid of them, and the -Athens began to taste the racy productions of the Tory press. Even this -cannot be reckoned an Athenian production; for England and Ireland had -to be ransacked ere contributors could found, and even yet, Blackwood, -with the aid of his brother the bailie, is editor. - -When a sufficient number of those who, as was supposed, would not be -kept back either by moral or by literary scruples, had been collected -together, the campaign was commenced. At first, they seemed to have -only two objects in view,--the vilification of all persons who were -supposed to be either directly or indirectly connected with the Whigs, -more especially with the Edinburgh Review; and a disposition to boast -of their own debauchery, immorality, and want of principle, in order to -disarm any one who might attack them upon that ground. - -Slander, especially if it be levelled against persons whom the vulgar -account it boldness to attack, and couched in careless and indifferent -terms, is always sure to please somebody; and, from what I saw and -heard, there are no people to whom it is more agreeable than to certain -parties in the Athens. Accordingly, those opinions which, for half an -age, the people of the Athens had been taught to receive, without so -much as questioning their soundness, were turned into burlesque and -ribaldry; and those persons to whom they had been accustomed to look -up with respect and veneration, were ridiculed and abused. As those -opinions and those persons were alike obnoxious to the ruling faction -in the Athens--though that faction had never ventured to express its -dislike--they received the new style of writing with no common degree -of delight and gratitude. Themselves and their cause had been so -long and so severely cudgelled and exposed, that they had given up -all hopes of having any thing said in their favour. Therefore, they -regarded the productions of those, who took up that line of conduct -merely because it was the only one in which they had even a chance of -success, as hearty and devoted champions; and the writers, finding that -they met with more patronage, and patronage which promised to lead -to more advantageous results than they had calculated, became more -and more decidedly partisans, and waxed more bold and barefaced in -their attacks. A coarse and clumsy imitation of the biblical style, -which would have passed unnoticed, but for its local applications, -and its gross personality, gave very general offence, and for that -reason procured them a notoriety which otherwise they would probably -never have obtained; and some cruel insinuations against a venerable -personage whom the whole country had looked up to as a model, both of -a man and of a philosopher, were believed to give him so much pain, -when the decay of nature had all but put an end to a long career of -usefulness and celebrity, that they fancied no one was too low or too -high for feeling their attacks. - -It must be allowed that both novelty and talent were displayed in those -productions,--at least in some of them. The style and manner were -altogether new: a sort of virgin-soil, as it were, had been turned up -for culture; and though by far the greater portion of its produce was -weeds, and weeds too of the rankest description, yet they had all the -vigour and greenness of a first crop. Periodical writing had for a -long time consisted of abstract disquisitions, or tales which had no -decided locality, or connexion with individual and existing character; -and whatever may have been the practices of the writers, they kept up -a regular show of sobriety and morality in their writings. But the -writers of Blackwood’s Journal not only seasoned their productions -with unsparing personality, but affected to be adepts in debauchery, -and pretended to keep no secrets from their readers, even in the most -unseemly of their carousals. Having manufactured ideal names and -characters for themselves, they treated these in the most unceremonious -manner; and this, in some measure, took off the edge of that -indignation which otherwise would have been felt at their treatment -of real characters. More than any thing, they succeeded; and success -is generally received as the test not only of ability, but of a good -cause, in literature as well as in war. If Blackwood’s Magazine had -never got into considerable circulation, the writers in it would have -been regarded as miserable and malicious rebels from the honest cause -of literature; but as they were in so far successful, they obtained in -some degree the renown of heroes. - -Among those writers there were, unquestionably, some of talents far -superior to what may be supposed the average of those who contribute -to ordinary magazines; and though these for a time took part in the -ribald practices of the publication, and were pleased for a season with -that eclât which such practices are supposed to afford; yet still, new -in what might be considered as the most blamable perversions of their -talents, there were gleams of a better spirit, and promises that they -could not always follow the same course. That some of the best of them -have already done so, is apparent from the altered spirit of the later -numbers, in which there is an attempt at the same external appearance, -but a visible paucity in spirit; and the probability is that, ere long, -Blackwood’s Magazine, which has always had a considerable portion of -its articles from London, will gradually derive its supplies more and -more from that quarter, or dwindle to the same inanity as its monthly -brother of the Athens. - -Indeed, the whole tenor of Blackwood is of a description which cannot -be permanent. It offers no principle upon which the mind of an -unprejudiced and independent man can dwell at the time, and as little -to which any body can refer afterwards for the purpose of obtaining -information. Personality, if bold, daring,--or, to use one of its -own terms, _blackguard_ enough, is sure to make a noise at the time; -but its interest is short in proportion to its intensity. For the -philosophic discussion of any one subject, for the establishing of any -one principle in science, in morals, or in politics, or for any one -addition to the stock of human information, it is in vain to look back -at the book; and though people talk about it (and they talk less and -less about every successive number,) at the period of its appearance, -it may be supposed to pass of necessity into the same speedy oblivion -as the animosities or whims by which it was produced; and that future -men will have no more desire to know how written slander was managed in -the days of Blackwood, than they have at present to know in what terms -the ladies of Billingsgate rated each other when the Tower of London -was a seat of royalty. - -Some may indeed suppose, that as this species of writing is not -kept back by any inflexibility of principle from bending round all -the sinuosities, and accommodating itself to all the crooked paths -of corruption, it will continue to find enough of support from the -official men of the Athens, and their coadjutors and underlings -throughout Scotland; this, however, is by no means the case. Those -persons have no love for literature of any description: their deeds -are such as will not bear any kind of light, and the whole of their -hopes are centred in the one circumstance of the public’s being kept -in ignorance of what they are doing. Like criminals under trial, their -only chance is in an attempt to shake the credibility of the witnesses -against them; and if they attempt a direct defence of themselves, it -is sure to render their offences more palpable, and their condemnation -more certain. So long as public opinion remains, and the whole -appearances of the times give promise that it will continue to gather -strength rather than to decay--it is a tribunal to which none but those -who have a wish to stand well with the public will be disposed to -appeal; and therefore, how much soever the official men of the Athens -may have been gratified by the attempts which the writers in Blackwood -have made to traduce their political opponents, and turn them into -ridicule, there is nothing at which they would be so much alarmed, or -indeed have so much cause to be alarmed, as an attempt at their own -justification, even in the same pages. As long as such writers as those -in Blackwood confine themselves to personal attacks in the offensive -way, so long will they not be dreaded or disliked by that party of -which they endeavour to hold themselves out as the champions; but the -moment that they depart from this offensive mode of personal warfare, -and take a single position upon the real ground in dispute, from that -moment the whole of their batteries, whether they will or not, must -be turned against those whom they affect to defend. Thus, though they -may have been useful in effecting a momentary distraction of public -attention, they neither have, nor can they overturn a single principle -of those against whom their ribaldry is directed, nor establish one for -those whom they call their friends. - -There is another thing against their permanence. Men, whether official -or not, are never fond of having that brought prominently forward in -which themselves do not excel. Now if one were to pitch upon the very -weakest point--the blank as it were in the official men of Scotland, -and of the Athens, that upon which one would pitch would be literature. -The civic part of them, from their education, their associates, and -the whole tenour of their lives, can neither love a book, nor, indeed, -know any thing about it; and if the opposition and liberal men of -the Athens, who after all are by very much the majority, are utterly -unable or unwilling to support even one literary man, it is not to be -supposed that the other party who are fewer in number, and ever fearful -of exposure, can have more ability or more disposition. No doubt, such -of the writers for Blackwood as know the extreme barrenness of the -ruling men in the Athens, in all matters of taste and information, and -the more fond and forcible predilection which they have for dining in -taverns and carousing in ale-houses, and who have marked that those -ears which are deaf as their kindred clay to every voice of elegance or -of criticism, are open as their mouths for a dinner, or their hands for -a bribe, when grossness usurps the place of taste, and ribaldry comes -in the stead of science,--no doubt those writers have risked a hope in -supplying husks for the Athenian swine; but though the deeds have been -immoral, the remembrance of them will not be immortal; and though there -may always be a few that, seeking their chief pleasure, and finding -their only renown in their own debauchery, are pleased to see deeds -worthless as their own, - - “Register’d to fame eternal, - In deathless pages of diurnal;” - -Yet even this would not have succeeded with the public generally, at -any period, and it perhaps could have had less chance at no period than -it has at present, when the rapid spread of intercourse and information -is, in spite of all official and other efforts to the contrary, -diffusing a more rational taste even down to the very humblest classes -of society. Men in office, however inferior and second-rate that office -may be, and however mean may be their own tastes, and grovelling their -own habits, will not--dare not, continue long to pride themselves in, -or even privately to encourage, that from which the peasantry turn -away in disgust; and, ere many additional years have been added to -the Kalendar, it will be found that those superior spirits who lent -themselves to this work for a time, in the hope that it would serve -them as a stepping-stone for getting into office, will become ashamed -of it in consequence of having obtained their objects, or disgusted, -because that which they must have felt as a degradation, has to them, -also, proved a deception. - -But, whatever of good or of evil, of liveliness or of licentiousness, -of the misapplication of talent, or the miserable labour of that which -is no talent at all, may be found in the school of writing, of which -Blackwood’s Magazine hitherto forms the chief specimen, the Athens -assuredly has neither the merit nor the demerit of originating that -school; and if all support, except what the Athens could give it, were -to be withdrawn, the remainder of its existence would not exceed one -month. - -Having heard a great deal about the intellectuality of the Athens, and -its superiority in genius, in taste, and in literature, above every -other city in the world, I made a point of examining, with all the -care and candour that I could exercise. I began too, with a strong, -yes, a very strong prejudice in its favour; for it had been rung -again and again in my ears, that, compared with what was to be found -here, the whole world beside was an empire of dulness. But my fond, -and as it proved to be my foolish prejudice, became less and less, -at every step; and, whether I would or not, I was compelled to see, -that the greater part of the name which somehow or other the Athens -has gotten, has been gotten through the unceasing brazen-frontedness -of her own self-idolatry. In various parts of the Athens, I found men -_pirouetting_ in small evolutions of what they call philosophy. One, -for instance, worshipping the wings of a butterfly; and another drawing -lines and circles upon a human skull, and measuring the talents and -propensities of the unknown owner very gravely with a pair of compasses -and scale; a third, taking up the visions of Robert Owen of New Lanark, -was bewildering himself in an attempt so to arrange the human race, -as that the square of the oblique diagonal of conduct should be equal -to the two squares of the base of nature, and the perpendicular of -education; a fourth was proving by coal and limestone, that the globe -had been boiled; and a fifth, by porphyry and basalt, that it had been -roasted. One learned professor, the very apex of the triangle of the -Athenian science,--who, in his time, has tested hell, as it were--has, -in the ardour of his inquiries after and into things hot and cold, -alternately deputed his - - ----------------“delighted spirit - To bathe in fiery floods, or to reside - In thrilling regions of the thick-ribb’d ice,”-- - -was reported to me, (for I did not _then_ see him,) not exactly - - “To be imprisoned in the viewless wind, - And blown with restless violence round about - The pendent world,” - -but to have made one of the most singular experiments upon the said -winds themselves, that ever entered into a philosophic head. This -learned personage, whom the Athenian magistrates had at one time -refused to expel from the city “_cum avisamento eorum ministrorum_,” -upon the alleged ground of his being a conjuror, had made long and -laborious experiments in all sorts of heating and cooling, physical and -metaphysical. When other matters and fires were nearly exhausted with -him, it struck him that it would excite mortal wonder, and win immortal -renown, if he could bring atmospheric air to a red heat. He foresaw, -that if he should succeed in this experiment, it would be farewell to -both gas and steam; and there would be no need of dangerous boilers, -castiron pipes, smoking chimneys, and all the other casualties of the -new power and the new light. If this degree of temperature could be -communicated to the atmosphere, the fondest dreams of mankind would be -realized,--the midnight air might be rendered more glorious than the -sun; winter might be driven within the polar circle; the precinct of -the Holyrood might be made fragrant with spices, and fat with olives; -and the vine might clothe the now naked crags, green with never-fading -leaves, and purple with perennial grapes. That which promised so many -and so delightful advantages was worth trying, and so the philosophic -personage is reported to have gone about his experiment in this wise:-- - -He procured a bagpipe; and having dissected away the chanter, the -drones, and the bellows,--making the stumps secure with ligatures, he -carried the inflated bag to a neighbouring barn, and set two brawny -peasants a-threshing it with their flails, while he stood by, wishing -and wondering as to the result. What that result was, I was unable to -learn, and indeed I made not much inquiry respecting it,--and I mention -it only as one of the many instances in which I heard the Athenians -boast of their philosophy. - -But if they have no literary men, as such, of whom they can boast, they -have about as little title to put on airs about their literary taste. -In that, as well as in all other matters, they are idolaters; and it -may be truly said of them, as was said of the people of the elder -Athens, that the most conspicuous of their altars is “to the Unknown -God.” So long as Jeffrey was deemed infallible, they ventured no -opinion upon any point, until they knew how he had delivered himself. -When, for instance, he had, as he thought, blasted the laurels of Byron -in the bud, the cry that ran through the Athens was, “What a silly -fool to attempt to write poetry? But the Review has done his business. -_He_ will write no more at any rate.” When the retribution of the -“Scotch Reviewers” was hurled back, the worshippers of the Athens were -astonished, but they said nothing. The fact is, that they neither have -opinions of their own in such matters, nor have they leisure to form -them. - -The observations which I had occasion to make respecting the dramatic -taste of the Athenians are equally applicable to their taste, not only -in literature, but in every thing else. In youth their education is -too superficial, and when they grow up, the drudgery of the law, to -which so many of them are doomed, and which influences the habits of -the whole, together with that dissipation in which they indulge as -habitually and more deeply than any people with whom I am acquainted, -give a turn to their minds which is the very opposite of literary. -These causes will be more fully developed in the following chapter; -but there is one fact which is very remarkable, which the Athenians -themselves may as well be left to explain. Of the men who, from time -to time, have become illustrious in the Athens for their scientific or -literary attainments, hardly one has been born, and very few have been -educated, within her walls. They have almost uniformly been provincial -Scotchmen, and not a few of them have been students at the provincial -universities. So that while the Athens has not much to boast of in the -literary way, the little of which she can boast is not wholly her own. -Perhaps this is another of the desolations of the widowed metropolis. - - - - -CHAPTER IX. - -EDUCATION OF THE ATHENS. - - - Just as the twig is bent the tree’s inclined.--POPE. - - -IF there be one cause to which, more than others, we are to look for -an explanation of those peculiarities that distinguish the inhabitants -of one place from the inhabitants of others, that cause is education. -I do not mean that education which is given, or attempted to be given, -at schools and colleges, but that which is produced by the contact and -collision of those with whom young men associate at that important -period when they are beginning to think and to act for themselves. -There is no doubt that more of the character of society in the Athens -depends upon this circumstance than upon any thing else, as, so far as -my observation extended, there is more peculiarity in the treatment of -the Athenian youth at this period than in any other city of the British -empire. - -It is to this education, for life and not for literature, which I mean -chiefly to advert in this chapter. Still, it may not be amiss to -give a preliminary glance at the school education, not of the Athens -merely, but of Scotland generally, because on that, it strikes me, -Englishmen might find something both to learn and to imitate. The idea -of having one or more schools in each parish, so established that -no teacher can be appointed to them who is not well educated, and -so endowed that they can never be corrupted as the free-schools so -frequently are in England, or confined to the most opulent classes of -society, as the better class of schools are in that country, is one of -the best that ever entered into the imagination of any legislature. -Even in the remotest and most thinly-inhabited parish of Scotland, -the schoolmaster is a man of real information: not unfrequently the -son of humble parents, who, finding that he evinced talents and a -taste for learning, sent him to school, and to some one or other of -those cheap universities in Scotland, where, judging from the number -of illustrious names that they can boast of, learning is nothing the -worse for its cheapness, till he was qualified for orders; but who, -finding his influence insufficient for procuring him the ease and -indolence of a parsonage, took, as his only alternative, the humbler -and more laborious, but unquestionably more useful, office of parish -schoolmaster. Young men of this description are one of the greatest -blessings that a country can possess, and rather than that Scotland -should lose them, it were more for her welfare that all the boasted -philosophy, and all the brawling law of the Athens were at the bottom -of the sea. They may be said not only to pursue learning for its own -sake, and without any view either to honour or emolument, but also to -follow the profession of teachers from the same disinterested motives. -Since professions more lofty and lucrative than that of minister of the -Scotch Kirk monopolized the sons of the wealthier Scotch--since the -free sons of the mountains went to practise slavery in the west, and -those of the plains to get wealth and liver complaints in the east, -the ecclesiastical offices in Scotland have been almost exclusively -filled by the sons of the poor. These almost invariably pass a part -of their early life either as parochial schoolmasters or as tutors in -private families. The tutors are those who have the best connexion, the -most ambition, and the most fawning and obsequious habits. They are -menial servants, and with the education of gentlemen they are sent to -companion with butlers and valets, to humour the caprices of wayward -children, and to hear the fooleries of booby “lairds,” and the scorn -of assuming dames, who can see no merit but in being connected with -this, that, or the other family, which has borne the same name, and -inhabited the same lands since the first introduction of crows and -cow-stealing. Connected with this office, at least in the majority -of instances, there are humiliations to which no lad of spirit would -submit for the sake of the present emolument. The hope, and generally -the stipulation, of the tutor is, that his patron shall, when he has -drudged and degraded himself for the requisite number of years, “bless -him with a kirk;” and this abasement,--this bowing down before the -patron, in order that they may, in due time, rise to the living, is -one of the chief reasons why the Scotch parsons have swerved from that -independence of feeling and of action, of which the example was set -them by John Knox, and become as willing and obsequious worshippers at -the feet even of delegated power, or of unmerited place, as imagination -can picture to itself. If it were not that they are strained through -this filter, we should never have had them declaring, ex cathedrâ, that -the National Monument, a piece of gratuitous foolery, or vanity, or -political patchwork, was “a most suitable and appropriate expression -of gratitude to the Lord of Hosts.” If they had not been studying -somewhere else than in their bibles, their answer would have been-- - -“The Being, whom we profess to worship, and under whose protection -we certainly are, cannot be propitiated by votive offerings of stone -and lime; and the gallant deeds of our brave countrymen, however -gracefully they might be chiselled on the frieze of the ‘restored -Parthenon,’ could not, in the slightest degree, redound to his glory, -although they might, to a certain extent, flatter the vanity of men. -The offerings which He requires are not swelling columns and fretted -architraves: they are _deeds_--deeds of justice, beneficence, and -mercy, done to our fellow men. After He has enumerated the most costly -and splendid sacrifices-just for the purpose of declaring that in -his sight they avail nothing--He delivers this simple but heavenly -commandment, ‘Offer to God _thanksgiving_.’ To propose the erection -of _any edifice_, therefore, as ‘a most suitable and appropriate -expression of gratitude to the Lord of Hosts,’ savours little of the -knowledge and still less of the spirit of Christianity; and if no -edifice whatever could be such an expression, far less could a temple -which had been erected for the worship of dead and useless idols.” - -The filtration, or winnowing, or whatever process it may be called, -which has separated and set apart the more flexible portion of the -educated peasantry of Scotland for the peculiar service of the kirk, -has been in an eminent degree favourable for the schools, which have -thus reserved to them the most independent and generally also the most -enthusiastically devoted to learning. - -I should have mentioned ere now, that the men who fill learned -situations, or are engaged in literary pursuits in Scotland, ought, -in genius, though perhaps not always in education, to be superior to -men of the same description in England; for the expense of obtaining -any thing like a literary education in the latter country is so -great, and the disposition to obtain it is so contrary to the habits -of the humbler, and even the middle ranks of the people, that the -range of classes from whom the learned men of England can be taken, -is far narrower than that from which Scotland can make her election. -In England, a peasant or a small farmer never so much as dreams of -giving his son a classical or a university education; and even among -the wealthier yeomen and tradesmen this is seldom done, except with -an immediate view to a church living, to which if the person so -educated should not succeed, he returns back to the counter or the -counting-house. - -In Scotland, again, though the gates, at least of some species of -knowledge, do not stand open so widely or so long as in England, yet -they stand open to every class of the people; and thus, though the -population of Scotland be not one-sixth part of that of England, the -number of persons from whom the learned men of Scotland are chosen is -perhaps greater; indeed, it is positively greater, for the whole two -millions of the Scotch people are in this situation; and if all the -classes in England who have the power and the will to educate their -children be counted, they will be found far fewer than this. Now, -as the means of obtaining liberal education descend in society, the -quantity of talent must necessarily increase. In natural ability, a -hundred peasants, at least a hundred peasant boys, are not necessarily -inferior to the same number of scions of nobility; and as the total -number of peasants exceeds the total numbers of the others, the whole -quantity of natural capacity must be greater. Whatever, indeed, may be -their differences after they grow up, and when all the varieties of -advantage, opportunity, and habit have come into play, it cannot be -denied that there is a point in the age of all classes of society at -which their talents and capacities are in the precise ratio of their -numbers; and it is equally true that, if they were all taken at this -point, and subjected to the same discipline, the number of illustrious -men that would be obtained from each class would also be in the precise -ratio of the total number. But all classes in Scotland have, from -infancy up to a certain period, the same facilities of being educated, -and therefore, in obtaining a supply of learned and literary men, -Scotland has the choice of the whole population. - -But this is not the only advantage that results from throwing the gates -of knowledge open to all the people, for those of the poorer classes -who are sent to college have a chance of possessing greater natural -abilities, and being more assiduous and successful in the cultivation -of them, than those who are sent from the rich. - -This may, at first sight, appear to be paradoxical, but its truth -will become apparent upon very little reflection. The more seductive -pleasures of youth to which the rich have access, are, independently of -any other cause, sufficient to turn the scale in favour of the poor. -To the rich, the hours spent in the prosecution of knowledge are hours -taken from the enjoyment of pleasure, and as such they must ever be -looked upon as a task and a drudgery. To the poor, on the other hand, -the hours spent in the prosecution of knowledge are an abridgment -of labour more irksome and severe, and therefore they must ever be -regarded as relaxation and pleasure. Besides, the children of the -rich are sent to college, not so much with a view to the perfection -of education in the meantime, and the profitable application of it -afterwards, as because it is the custom, or that their parents and -guardians can afford the expense. The pupil who is born to wealth or -to honours, considers his literary attainments not only as a merely -subordinate accomplishment, but as one which stands in the way of -others that he deems more consistent with his rank, and feels to be -more consonant with his desires; while he to whom the same pursuit -is present pleasure, and the hoped foundation of future honour and -emolument, is certain not only to like it better, but to pursue it -with more zeal and success. Of the illustrious names that have been -famed in the pages of Scotch biography, a far greater proportion have -sprung from humble life than are to be found in the annals of any -other country. The fact is, that although the Scotch peasants have a -strong desire to educate all their children, it is only the ones who -are believed or found to possess a superior degree of genius that are -educated for literature; and of the discoveries of original genius -that are continually making in the provincial parts of Scotland a very -curious book might be made. I shall mention one instance of the many: - -The gentleman, who at this moment takes the highest station among the -philosophers of the Athens, and who would have been entitled to no mean -place even when her philosophy was in the zenith of its splendour, is -of humble though highly respectable extraction. His father rented a -small farm in the kingdom of Fife, and had it not been that accident -revealed the genius of the infant philosopher, first to the village -parson, next through his advice to learned professors of St. Andrew’s, -and, lastly, through the wisdom of that advice, to the world at -large, his experiments might have been confined to composts for the -fields, instead of compositions for the furtherance of science; and -his speculations, instead of grasping the globes of the earth and the -heavens, might never have soared above a globe-turnip. That the loss -that science would thus have sustained would have been great, even -the enemies of the philosopher (and there is no philosopher without -enemies, especially in the Athens) must allow; for the lines of his -discovery have not only been boldly drawn, but have been drawn in -situations which no other philosopher has attempted. If, therefore, -the discovery which I am about to relate, singular as those who are -not conversant with the modes in which genius, when left to itself, -developes itself, may consider it to be, had not been made, a blank -page would have remained in the book of knowledge, which is now full -and fair in its characters of wisdom. The future philosopher, as was -once the case with nearly all the nascent philosophers of Scotland, and -may still be the case with a few, not the worst of them, divided the -year between the study of learning, and the observation of nature. When -winter had spoiled the fields of their beauty, and driven the shepherds -and cow-herds into the villages, he went to school, where the Proverbs -of Solomon, Ruddiman’s Rudiments of the Latin Tongue, and Dilworth’s -Arithmetic, by turns expanded his wisdom, or perplexed his ingenuity; -and when the fields were again in flower and the birds in song, he was -sent forth to observe the progress of vegetable and animal life, notice -the revolutions of suns, and feel the practical philosophy of wind and -rain. In order that there might be economy as well as information in -his employment during the latter season, he was enjoined to attend to -the movements of his father’s cows, as well as to those of nature; and -until he had reached nearly the end of his twelfth year, it remained -doubtful whether cattle or causation was to be the future business and -glory of his life. In the summer of that year, however, the die was -cast, and never was turning-up more philosophically fortunate, or more -fortunate for philosophy. In one of those village libraries, which -often contained more rich variety of lore than is to be found among -the countless volumes of even an Athenian repository of books, he had -found a thumbed and boardless copy of Simpson’s Euclid, which might -in its time have perplexed the wits of ten successive classes at St. -Andrew’s. By that strong intuition which ever characterizes superior -genius, even at its earliest dawn, he found out that this was a volume -worthy of being read, and throwing aside the Shorter Catechism of the -Kirk, which had been furnished him by his parents for his recreation, -as well as the exploits of George Buchannan, the History of Buckhaven, -the exquisite biography of Paddy from Cork, and the sweet songs of -Sir James the Rose, and the Laird of Coull’s Ghost, with which he had -contrived to furnish himself, he set fondly and furiously to work -upon Simpson’s Euclid, preparing his floor, and drawing his diagrams -in the same manner, though not exactly in the same materials, as the -philosophers of antiquity. The smooth grassy sod answered all the -purposes of the abacus, and the cows generously supplied him in a -substitute for the sand. Spreading and smoothing that substitute with -his bare foot, he engraved upon it with his finger the mystic lines and -letters; and, with book in hand, proceeded to establish the elementary -principles of geometry, heedless though the cows should, in the mean -time, scale the fence, and carry the neighbouring corn by a _coupe de -la bouche_. - -One day as he was occupied in this learned work, the parson of the -village happened to be on the other side of the hedge, pacing backwards -and forwards, and cudgelling his reluctant and retentive brains for -as much of the raw material of sermonizing as would serve to put him -and his parishioners over the ensuing Sunday. While he paced and -pleaded with the sluggish spirit, his ear was assailed by a continued -_mumbling_ of voice through the hedge, which caught so much stronger -a hold of him than he could do of his sermon, that his steps and -his study were both brought to a dead stand, and his outward ears -perked up in the fondest attitude of listening. Ministers as well as -men often remember the words of that of which they were never able -to grapple with the meaning; and thus, though the old parson did not -exactly comprehend the extent of that proposition, the diagram of -which the young philosopher had traced upon his soft abacus, and the -demonstration of which he was rehearsing in very solemn tones, yet -he remembered that such words had been used by one of the professors -in that part of his academic course which he had never understood. -That which is known is always simple, and that which is not known, -however simple it may be in itself, is always accounted the very depth -of wisdom. The parson was astonished, and, for a moment, he doubted -the evidence of those ears upon which he had had to depend through a -long life. He tried the one, it caught, “The angles at the base of an -isosceles triangle;” he tried the other, it continued the enunciation, -“are equal to one another.” He poked his head half way through the -hedge, and the auxiliary testimony of his eyes and spectacles confirmed -that of his ears. He saw the abacus, the book, and the student, and -forthwith descended to the village, big and puffing with the tale. A -visit from the parson at any other hour than that of dinner, is always -an ominous matter to some of the family of a Scotch peasant. If the -young folks be children they dread the catechism. If more advanced, -there are occasional terrors of that Scotch tread-mill, which is -trodden alone and in presence of the assembled congregation. The mother -of the philosopher had nothing to dread upon either of those grounds, -but still she felt all the glow of a woman’s curiosity, when the parson -approached her husband with so hasty steps and so important looks. - -“Well, Mr. Lascelles,” said the parson, “you must take care of Jock, -and that forthwith, for I am thinking that he is a _genus_.” - -“I am very sorry to hear it, Sir,” replied Mr. Lascelles, lifting his -bonnet, “but he is very young, and will get steadier as he grows up. -Has he been letting the cows eat your corn?” - -“The Lord forbid either the one thing or the other,” said the parson. -“He is a genus, a mathematical genus, and will be an honour to the -parish when we are both dead and gone.” - -The father now understood that the words which he had at first -considered as lamentation were laudatory; the fatted calf was killed, -the parson was feasted, the boy taken from the cows, and sent to -college; and the result is--a perfect Anak in philosophy.---- - -That the literary men of Scotland are drawn from the whole range of -the population is not only in favour of themselves; it is also highly -advantageous to the humbler classes of the people. In as far, indeed, -as merely literary men are concerned, the advantage to Scotland is by -no means great, because in Scotland they meet with but little reward -to stimulate their exertions. And hence they are obliged to scatter -themselves over the world. But still, the number that remain, and fill -the duties of parochial and other teachers throughout the country, are -superior, not in degree merely, but absolutely in kind, to the teachers -of youth, more especially youth of the poorer classes, in any other -part of the country. In England, for instance, when a man of general -information undertakes the office of teacher, he does it either with -the hope of making a fortune by teaching the children of the rich, or -as a matter of necessity, and as a dernier resort after having been -unfortunate in teaching the children of the poor. But one who is to -have any chance of succeeding in the communication of any thing else -than the mere mechanism of reading, writing, and casting accounts, -which after all does not deserve the name of education, must love his -profession for its own sake, and look upon the exercise of it as an -honour,--which, in one that instructs the children of the lower orders, -can never be the case, unless he himself has been educated as one of -those orders. It is quite natural, and it is also quite true, that the -education which is most beneficial for any one class of society, can -neither be imparted nor purchased by any other class. Charity schools -will never be held in much estimation by any one who has seen the -progress of those poor children for whose education their own parents -pay. There is something in the receiving of any kind of charity which -is humiliating and debasing; and to bestow a charitable education upon -the whole or the greater part of the labouring classes in the country, -would be the surest means not only of leaving them nearly uneducated, -but of destroying their virtue and diminishing their usefulness. - -It is to the absence of this humiliating mode of being instructed, -and the presence of one infinitely better and more rational, that the -grand peculiarity of the Athens, and remarkably of the provincial -parts of Scotland, is chiefly to be attributed. The smallness of -Scotch and even of Athenian society, the limited number even of the -labouring classes, who, except in Glasgow, and perhaps a place or -two more, are all intimately known, as well in their connexions as -in their individual characters, and perhaps also the low rate of -wages, and the fewer facilities to solitary dissipation, may no doubt -account for some portion of the intelligence and virtue of the humbler -Scotch. But still, in as far as those circumstances operate, they must -operate upon the higher classes as well as the lower; and, as the -higher classes in Scotland have no such superiority over the higher -classes in other countries, as the lower have over the lower, there -must be some special cause which operates in favour of the Scotch -peasantry. I have looked round for causes; I have found none except -those remarkable advantages in respect of teachers of education, -(unless, perhaps, it be that the sober and simple Kirk of Scotland -has a more wholesome influence upon the poor than a more showy and -aristocratical establishment can exert,) and I think I discovered that -those advantages are quite sufficient to account for the fact. - -If there were not something in education that made strongly and -peculiarly in favour of the Scotch peasantry, why should they be -decidedly before the peasantry of England, both in talent and -civilization, while not merely the upper ranks of the provincial -Scotch, but even the learned and official scribes (and pharisees) -of the Athens, are so markedly and so monstrously behind? This -circumstance, unaccustomed as kings may well be supposed to be to -rigorous philosophic observation, did not escape the notice of George -the Fourth. He expressed no unusual admiration at the polish of the -Scotch peers, the elegance of the Scotch ladies, the learning of the -Scotch professors and parsons, or the worshipful appearance of the -Scotch magistrates; but the Scotch people, the crowds who shouted his -welcome on his arrival, and who cheered him every time he appeared in -public, were a source of wonder and a theme for admiration,--and a -proof, against which there is no arguing, that if people receive the -education of gentlemen, their habits will correspond, however scanty -their earnings or scanty their abodes. - -In the Athens, this relative superiority of the humbler classes over -those whom chance, ancestry, or office has set up into the high places, -is not only more remarkable than in any other locality that I ever -visited, but the most remarkable, at least the most admirable feature -in the character of the Athens herself. - -I have said, and I dare themselves to deny it, that her men in office -are a trifling and a truckling race; I have said, and I dare themselves -to deny it, that a great mass of her scribes unite some of the worst -propensities of the Jew, with none of the best of the attorney; I have -said, and I dare them to deny it, that her schools of philosophy have -“fallen into the sear and yellow leaf,” and that her philosophical -societies pursue trifles from which even school-boys would turn with -disdain; and I have said, that her _gentry_ have neither the capacity -nor the means of encouraging the sciences, literature, and the fine -arts; but though I have said thus, and said it from personal--perhaps -painful, observation, I am bound to add, that in point of intellect, -and all matters considered in point of conduct, the populace of the -Athens are far superior to any with which I am acquainted. When I -visited the public libraries, the men whom I found borrowing the -classical and philosophical books wore aprons, while the occasional -lady or gentleman that I saw there, was satisfied with the romance of -the week, or the pamphlet of the day. - -This accumulation of intellect among the lower and labouring classes -is a delightful thing,--when contemplated as studying history or -philosophy, or sporting itself with the finest productions of genius. -In this calmness and tranquillity it puts one in mind of the blue -expanse of the interminable and unfathomable ocean; its immensity -makes you feel it sublime; its depth tints it with that transparent -green which the eye never wearies in contemplating,--but, when the -wind is up, when the billows heave their masses, dash their spray to -the heavens, and deafen the ends of the earth with their roar, the -ocean becomes a fearful and a formidable thing; and, when the winds -of oppression chafe it, so is a population so learned, and so linked -together, as the labouring classes of the Athens. - -In the great manufacturing or commercial towns of England, and even, -and perhaps to fully as great a degree, in the British metropolis, one -finds the labourers and operative mechanics, though strong enough at -their labour, and skilful enough at their craft, far down indeed in -the intellectual scale,--reduced from their want of emulation to seek -their relaxation and their pleasure in the indulgence of their merely -animal appetites, and forced, through the want of proper education at -the outset, and fit means of obtaining or extending it afterwards, to -spend their evenings in ale-houses, and rest their distinctions of -honour and superiority on brawls and fights. In Scotland generally, and -in the Athens in particular, it is very different. Almost the whole of -the working classes there have got such an education in their youth -as not only would qualify them for ultimately being masters in their -respective trades, but which gives them an insatiable thirst, not for -technical knowledge in their own professions merely, but for knowledge -in general. If one were to follow them home, after the hours of their -labour are over, one would not find them besotting themselves with -beer, and discussing the circumstances of a prize-fight, in clouds of -smoke over a dirty newspaper, which the reader has to spell as he gets -on. No doubt they have their carousals, and when they do drink, they -drink deeply; but it is not so much for the love of the dissipation, -as for some public or brotherly measure which brings them together. You -find one man laying aside his apron to consult Adam Smith, dispute with -Malthus, or re-judge the judges of the Edinburgh Review; another will -be found solving mathematical problems, or constructing architectural -plans; and all the less proficient will be found attending evening -classes, at which they are instructed by able teachers, and for -reasonable fees. - -Society is indeed, as it were, reversed in the Athens; the men of the -law give their evenings to Bacchus; those who are called philosophers, -give theirs to butterflies; the ladies associate for the purposes of -gossipping; and the gentlemen, with praise-worthy gallantry, assist the -ladies; while the artizans pursue literature, and study philosophy. -Thus, although there be more both of the one and the other in the -Athens, than one would at first sight suppose, the supposition is -excusable because they are not to be found where one would first and -most naturally seek for them. - -But if these habits make the labouring classes in the Athens more -intelligent and delightful as a people than the same classes are in -England, they render them as much more dangerous as a mob. It is true, -that any demagogue cannot lead them to any mischief for any cause that -he pleases, as is but too often the case with a less informed and -reflective population. But if they are not to be collected or set -on by every casual breath, it is not every casual breath that will -make them disperse, or make them desist from their purpose. They have -repeatedly--indeed upon every occasion where they have been aroused and -brought together, evinced an union and organization which, with arms -and perseverance, would have made them formidable to a large military -force; and they have kept their plans so secret, and executed their -purposes with so much promptitude and skill, that the whole of the -legal and local authorities, in the joint exercise of their wisdom and -their fears, have not been enabled to penetrate the one or prevent the -other. “The Porteus” mob is universally known; and a gentleman who was -an eye-witness gave me such an account of a minor one, both in its -object and in its mischief, that occurred upon the result of the late -Queen Caroline’s trial, as convinced me that their skill and their -spirit have not yet abated. - -The populace of the Athens, as well as of most other places, resolved -upon having a general illumination, when the result of that trial was -made known. I do not say this was right, neither do I say that it -was wrong; but it was the will and the wish of the people, and they -did it. The official part of the Athenians were of course against -the measure, on political grounds; and a very large proportion of -the superior classes disliked it, either because they had doubts of -its propriety, or because they disliked the expense and trouble. -Disturbances were apprehended, and the authorities took what they -were pleased to call “vigorous measures:” they gave plenary power to -Archy Campbell,--armed deacon Knox with a great bludgeon,--supported -the constabulary with staves,--hung bayonets and cartouch-boxes -across the shoulders of the writers clerks,--stuck swords behind the -sheriff and advocates-depute,--sent for the Lothian farmers and their -cart-horses,--collected the military detachments,--shotted the guns of -the Castle, and lighted the linstocks,--dined, and put in the internal -armour of divers bottles of wine a-stomach,--and then bolting as many -doors upon themselves as ever they could, sat down to wonder and wait -for the issue. After preparations so extensive in their nature, and -so profound in their organization, one would naturally have supposed -that not so much as a rebellious candle would have been lighted, or an -Athenian lamp broken. But this was by no means the case. - -My informant, who had just arrived from Glasgow, where a similar scene -had been performed on the preceding evening, with much credit to the -military, some little to the magistrates, and no positive disgrace to -the people, was induced, by the unusual radiance that he observed in -the street, to walk out and see what was the matter, or rather how the -matter was. He passed along Princes Street, which exhibited nearly the -same number of candles, and the same taste in transparent paintings -that are usual upon other grease-burning and gauze-daubing occasions; -but the street itself was unusually quiet, and free of people. As he -stood gazing at a window opposite the earthen mound, in the decoration -of which some painter had been peculiarly happy in absurdity, a -stranger took him by the arm, and requested him to go to the other -side of the street, as where he stood he was by no means safe. He -hesitated, alleging that he heard nothing. “But it is coming,” said the -stranger, “and the more silent it is the less safe.” They crossed the -street together; and my informant looking towards the other end of the -mound, observed that the lamps were extinguished one by one, and though -not a tongue was heard, there was a heavy and hurried tread as of a -dense crowd rapidly approaching. It came, filling the whole breadth, -and about half the length of the mound. In the front were borne two -transparencies, rendered barely visible by dull blue lights behind. -On each flank were treble lines of men, armed with stakes, which they -had torn from a paling; and the whole square, of which they formed two -sides, was as thick in its composition and as regular and rapid in -its march as the Macedonian phalanx. This thick phalanx moved along -some of the principal streets: when a voice in one key called out one -set of numbers, a shower of missiles instantly demolished every pane -in the windows; and when a voice in another key called out another -set of numbers, not a stone was thrown. This mass of people passed -along the streets, and performed its quantity of mischief with the -silence and rapidity of a destroying angel; and when it had wreaked a -double portion of violence upon the dwelling of the Lord Provost, it -melted away nobody knew how, where, or by what agency. Meanwhile, the -alarm had been given to the powers and protectors; but when they came -to read the riot act, and scatter the spoilers, there remained none -to hear, but shattered houses and frightened inmates, and nothing to -scatter, except fragments of glass. Fortunately, the mischief was not -very great; but the manner in which it was done was enough to show the -superior tactics, and consequently superior danger of an Athenian mob. - -It is not, however, the education of politicians, of professional -men, or of the populace, which constitutes that peculiar course of -discipline which deserves to be designated, as “the education of the -Athens.” That education is a training of the manners more than of -the mind,--an initiation into the practices of life, rather than the -principles of any art, or of any science. Most species of education -imply some sort of restraint; but the Athenian education is chiefly -taken up with removing the restraints that have been imposed in other -places, and by other systems; and the rapidity with which students make -proficiency in it is without parallel in any of the ordinary schools -or colleges. A mere boy shall come from the remotest glen or island -of Scotland, as timid as a hare, as modest as a maiden, and as honest -as a man of five feet in a mill-stone quarry; and yet, astonishing to -tell! three little months, sometimes three little weeks, of Athenian -tuition, shall make him a perfect adept in all the theory, and an -expert proficient in all the practice of the Athenian mysteries. No -where else, indeed, can young men be thus educated at so early an -age; and it is the boast of the Athens, that she frees the youth of -Scotland of more of their antiquated notions and narrow prejudices -than they could get rid of even in London itself. The number of young -men who resort annually to the Athens as students in the college, and -under the private lecturers in the different departments of medical -science--who, as I have said, are now in a great measure eclipsing and -supplanting the college professors, together with the still greater -number who throng to the offices of the men of law, form a separate and -unguardianed and unguarded society of youths, greater in proportion to -the whole population than is to be found in any other British city. -They meet with those of but a year’s longer standing, and these meet -those of but another year, and so on, till the total take in every -lesson-abhorring student, and every quill-driving clerk, to the amount -of some thousands,--all of them furnished with at least moderate means -of supporting themselves, and without the slightest check or control -as to how those means shall be expended. The studies of the law-clerks -are of an exceedingly dry description, and those of the other students -are not very different. The infant scribes are set loose at an early -hour in the evening, and as the professors in the Athens are said to -be far more strict in looking after their own fees than after the -attendance of the students, the whole of this mass of young persons -are left to govern themselves and each other for nearly the half of -every day in the week, and almost the whole of Saturday and Sunday. -Athenian apprentices to the law are seldom lodged in the families of -their masters; and it is a rare thing indeed for an Athenian student -to be boarded with his professor. Hence, both classes are allowed to -help each other in the formation of their habits, without any control -from the more experienced part of society. It is the interest of the -lodging-house-keepers, with whom the greater part of them reside, that -their juvenile frolics should not come to the ears of their relations; -and therefore each is allowed to indulge himself as he pleases, and the -only measure of indulgence is the purse. - -While this mode of life holds out facilities for indiscretions which -the greater activity and occupation of even a mercantile city prevent, -the great numbers take off the shame of individual transactions, and -give a fashion and eclât to what would no where else be tolerated. -Youths of no great advance in life have their nightly drinking-bouts, -and boys, in the first year of their studies or apprenticeships, have -their occasional carousals in ale-houses suited to the state of their -funds. As the greater number of young men in the Athens, setting -aside the working classes, whose conduct is very different, are of -this description, perhaps they stamp upon the whole place much of its -character; and, especially in the several professions connected with -the law, they in all probability stamp the greater part of it. - -The results are just what might be expected. There is no place that -I visited where both the manners and the morals of young persons -are so free; and, with a greater partiality for the bottle, and a -greater proneness to all its consequences, there is perhaps less moral -feeling, and a less clear perception either of intellectual or of moral -truth, among young men who have passed through the several stages of -an Athenian education, than among those who have had their novitiate -any where else. Too young for reflection, and too much exposed to -temptation for study, their minds become as desultory as their manners -are dissipated; and while yet they hardly know any thing, they are -prompt in their decision of every thing; and having once found that it -is easier, and gives more notoriety to decide without thinking, than to -think without deciding, they become as dogmatical in speech as they are -shallow in knowledge, and raw in experience. - -The force of ardent and inexperienced passions, just set loose from -paternal restraint, the force of every day’s example, the force of -ridicule, and frequently also the force of direct compulsion, all -conspire to drive every young man who goes to reside in the Athens -into these courses, and to keep him in them as long as he continues -to reside in the Athens; and be it for study or for business, the -novitiate is in ordinary cases sufficiently long to stamp the character -for life. Accordingly it has been remarked, that though young men who -profited by a regular course of Athenian study, be often very showy -and frequently very jovial as companions, they are not very pre-eminent -for sagacity as counsellors, or trust-worthiness as friends. Coming -from the provinces in all their greenness, without any principle, save -that prudence which their parents tried to inculcate, and getting rid -of that very speedily, they are left like blank-paper, upon which the -Athens may inscribe her peculiar characters. There they grow up, and -acquire the passions, and learn the vices of men, while they have the -intellect only of boys. - -Every part of the system tends to debauch their morals, and deaden -their intellectual perceptions, and there are some parts of it that -tend strongly to make them as impertinent as they are ill-informed. -With many of them, and more especially with those connected with the -law, public speaking, or rather public wrangling, such as they daily -hear before their Lordships, is regarded as the foremost and best of -all qualifications. Accordingly, they not only have little disputing -societies, at which the most profound and grave questions are discussed -and decided in the least grave and profound manner, but they also, -not sometimes, but very frequently, carry the same practices into -their carousing parties, whether in their own lodgings or at their -respective ale-houses. Thus they learn to make speeches, which, like -inflated bladders, are of a considerable size, and smooth withal on -the surface, but have neither solidity nor weight. Of those who are -thus educated, a considerable portion are scattered over the country, -and perhaps in this way the Athens draws both upon the virtue and the -intelligence of the age, in full for all that she gives in the way of -other education. Perhaps, indeed, setting aside the political taints -which have been noted as emanating from the Athens, it were just as -well for Scotland, and not a bit worse for England, that Athenian -education of all kinds were confined between the Loch of Duddingstone -and the Water of Leith. Of those again who are thus educated, and who -remain in the Athens, it may perhaps be said that they turn round and -inflict upon those who come after, full retribution for what those who -went before inflicted upon themselves; and that with all her boasted -elegance and taste, there is perhaps no city in which vice is more -generally or more obtrusively practised, than in this self-boasted -model of taste and purity. - -The effects of this system of education may be traced in the manners, -and especially in the conversation, of the Athenians, even when they -have, as one would suppose, risen above the standard and outlived the -vices of those juvenile associations. The jokes which are quoted as -being the indigenous crop of the Parliament-House habitually, and even -of the bench occasionally, have almost uniformly a latitude in them, -which would not be tolerated in similar places elsewhere; and perhaps -one of the most offensive collections that could be raked together, -would be a list of all the good things with which the Athenians -embellish their conversations, as having been said and done by the men -of whom they boast; but as such a collection would be relished no where -except in the Athens, and with Athenian disciples, it may, with great -propriety, be left as a chosen preserve, in which her own literati -may poach, when otherwise their stores become exhausted, as must -occasionally be the case even with them. - -A system of male education, such as I have attempted to describe, -must of course require a peculiar system for females; but as female -education is every where much more matter of fact than of philosophy, -it would be improper to go into any investigation or argument about -it. In speaking of such a subject, I might err: by remaining silent, I -cannot. - - - - -CHAPTER X. - -MANNERS AND RELIGION OF THE ATHENS. - - - “This present world six days they seek, - They seek the next for one day: - They run their scores up all the week, - And sponge them out on Sunday.” - -BEFORE you can at all characterize the manners of the Athenians, you -must have known them long and intimately, and even then it is difficult -to be correct. In most things they are so extremely changeful, if -not contradictory, that in half the time you would take to describe -them in one aspect, they pass into another; and they do so without -any cause which you can discover. At one time you would think them -all openness and heart, but in a moment they start away, and look -exceedingly cold, stiff, and repulsive. They are a hospitable people, -certainly, or rather perhaps it is more correct to say that they are -entertainment-giving people; but even in the most ostentatious and -prolonged of their hospitalities, you always have the impression that -they are acting a part--that there is more show than substance in -their courtesies. You feel that you are received with more parade -than welcome; and if the sederunt be continued, you find that there -is more hilarity than heart. They give you your dinner, and they -shun neither the quantity nor the praise of their liquor, but they -are not so much disposed to give you your share of the conversation, -of which themselves and their city form, not the unvarying, but the -inexhaustible subject; and, taking for granted that, in consequence -of its primary importance and celebrity, you, if you know any thing, -cannot fail to be acquainted with it even to the minutest particular, -they rattle away without ever giving you the least preparation, and if -you shew, or even hint ignorance of the shufflings of their politics, -the cases before their courts, or the tattle of their coteries, the -utmost contempt is expressed at you, and the most summary vengeance -taken for your daring to be ignorant of that which alone is worth -knowing. - -From the peculiar kind and manner of education which I have noticed, -the young men of the Athens are more impertinent and self-sufficient -than those of any other place that I have seen. They know not much, and -the little that they do know is far from being accurate; but they state -their opinions with a forwardness, and support even their ignorance and -their errors with a pertinacity at which you are quite astonished. -Perhaps it is this precocity in assertion which renders the Athenians -so querulous and dogmatical after they grow up. - -As the sums of money which can be afforded to be spent or squandered -away in the Athens are not great, there is not much deep playing or -costly dissipation in the city. But though the immorality of the Athens -costs less than that of a wealthier place, there is not proportionally -the less of it upon this account; and though the number of what may -be termed gentleman-like indiscretions be very limited, yet there is -perhaps no place of equal proportion which rivals the Athens in low -vice. Indeed, the vices of her people are almost all equally low, or -if there be any who strive to outdo their fellows, it is by a deeper -plunge in downright beastliness. - -Among the dashing bloods of the Athens, the squalor of a house is no -objection whatever. Scotch economy prompts them to get everything -cheap, and hence there are in the Athens sinks of vice, supported and -frequented by those who call themselves gentlemen, that would hardly be -tolerated, or even supposed, in the very lowest neighbourhood of any -other place. I have been told that nothing can be more shocking either -to morality or taste, than the midnight orgies of certain clubs of the -Athenian _esprits forts_; and among all ranks of the Athenians--I mean -among all the ranks of those who wear the dress and assume the name of -gentlemen,--the practice of drinking is both habitual and deep. - -The real state of taste and civilization in any place is perhaps better -known from the vices of the inhabitants, than from their virtues; -and if the Athens is to be judged by this standard, she has not much -of which she can boast, as the broad and vulgar debaucheries of her -people, not only occupy much more of their time, but engross much more -of their conversation, than is the case in the British metropolis. -There is a cause for every thing, and perhaps a reasonable part of -the cause of this may be found in that peculiarity of the Athenian -education which I noticed in a former chapter. The purity, the -ignorance, and the simplicity of the number of young men and boys who -are annually added to the mass of the Athens, the novelty of their -having all restraint taken off, and the example and encouragement -with which they naturally meet, dispose them to proceed to greater -lengths in dissipation than if their introduction were more gradual. -The limited nature of their finances, too, and the operation of -those lessons of thrift and parsimony, which no parents are fonder -of inculcating than the Scotch, lead them to cheapness rather than -elegance in their pleasures; and the debased and vulgar taste which -they thus acquire in their boyhood, clings to them after they are men, -and not only gives the tone to their vices, but in some measure also -to their whole character. Accordingly, in no place that I have visited -is there more license of conversation, more general freedom from all -manner of restraint, and a more total absence of scruples of any kind, -than among the scribes of the Athens. Still, to a certain extent, they -are pleasant companions; but they are so only to a certain extent. In -times not very remote, each of the pleaders before the Supreme Courts -in the Athens had his “whiskey-shop,” in which he met with clients -and solicitors, received fees, and fortified himself in the spirit, -for appearing before the “fifteen.” Nor were these grave personages -themselves prone to forget the lessons which they had learned during -their noviciate as students or clerks, and their probation as members -of the Faculty of Advocates. Whatever was or is the talents or the -connexions of those persons, they were, and among the specimens -that remain still are, democrats in their drink. It seems to be an -Athenian maxim, that the bottle raises or lowers all people to the same -level; and the Athenians still tell with a sort of pride, that when a -celebrated Judge, who flourished in the latter half of the eighteenth -century, had been missing for three days, and was wanted to aid in the -decision of a very important cause, he was at length found upon the -top of the steeple of St. Giles’, where he had been carousing and -playing at cards with two or three members of that illustrious and -accommodating fraternity, the _Caddies_. - -Nothing strikes a stranger more than the difference between the -business streets and business men of the Athens, and the corresponding -streets and men of London, or even of Glasgow. In Bond Street, Oxford -Street, or Ludgate Hill, all is bustle and activity,--you cannot -stand still, though you would; and within the shop, every one is -completely occupied. The Athenian streets, more especially the High -Street, present quite another spectacle. At every few yards you find -upon the pavement a knot of idlers, concealing their hands in the -pockets of their inexpressibles, and alternately settling the affairs -of the world, (that is, of the Athens,) and criticising any stranger -that passes. Every shop-door too is a sort of rostrum from which the -occasional vender of brimstone or blue bonnets, is often found vending -Athenian politics to customers of another description; while, almost -during the whole morning, bevies of slip-shod damsels stand giggling -together at the entrances of the closes, in which innumerable mops and -slop-pails are exposed, but not for sale. - -Ever since the days of Allan Ramsay, an Athenian bookseller has been -a sort of oracle; and, as the tribe have increased, their oracular -powers have become rich and varied. Constable, to whom, by the way, the -literary world is as much indebted as to any man living, and who is a -remarkable instance of success against the whole current of Athenian -prejudice and opposition, has indeed too much sense, as well as too -much business, for lounging and lecturing in a public shop; but even -Constable is obliged occasionally to submit to the contact of that -chaos of philosophic fragments, which, like the atoms of Epicurus, -reel and wrangle on the benches by his counter. Blackwood too has a -sort of den; but still, when there is nobody in it to gossip, you -find his hard face poking out at his shop-door, just as the tongue -of a church-bell pokes out at the mouth of that instrument of noise -and brass. Manners and Miller--one who is said to be the only genuine -species of the nightingale north of the Tweed, keeps a saloon for the -accommodation of the Edinburgh blue stockings, in which sins, and -sentiments, and silks, are, by turns, expatiated upon, in a style and -manner which are truly Athenian. Not far from the Tron Kirk, there is -perhaps the most wonderful of them all,--the Œdipus of all mysteries -and riddles, as touching law, and learning, and politics--to the -junior clerks who attend the parliament-house; the fag end of the -Athenian company of comedians, and of the satellites of opposition in -Athenian politics. Œdipus believes that the whole world rests upon his -shoulders; and, whether he be haranguing from behind his counter, or -trotting along the street, he is constantly hitching up his shoulders -as if he were alarmed lest that world should go off its poise. But to -see this little man in the zenith of his glory, you must see him in the -parliament-house, where he is regularly found, as soon as the clerks -have gone to the desk, and the players to the rehearsal, running about -with so much eagerness and appearance of wisdom, that, until he speaks, -you would mistake him for Jeffery, or rather for Henry Cockburn, to -whom he has one similitude--that of a naked poll. As he has previously -argued or decided every cause that can come before any of the courts, -he comes, not to profit by the wisdom of the more express organs of the -law, but to tell how far they deflect from the right, by swerving from -his institutes. - -Each bookseller has, not only his levee as well-attended as ever that -of Sir Richard Phillips in his glory was by ten-shilling-a-sheet -overpaid authors, but his evening party, in which he shines. Thus -Constable dines with deep-going politicians, Blackwood frequents -prayer-meetings, Manners and Miller whistle,--this one associates with -fiddlers, and that takes the unprotected females under the folds of -his calf-skin mantle. - -But, although each of the notable Athenians has his peculiar place and -way of holding forth, there is a regular intercourse among them all; -and accounts current of praise or censure are as regular and frequent -among the Athenians, as those of cash are among other people. Indeed, -if it were not for this curious banking system, it is very doubtful -whether the intellectual “patrimony or conquest” of any one Athenian -would be sufficient to set him up in business as a regular and everyday -subject of conversation. Thus, whenever you find an Athenian cutting -his first figure, no matter what sort of figure it is, in one part of -the city, you are sure to hear somebody making a great deal of noise -either for or against that figure in another part. - -But manners are, however, somewhat like the mind itself,--we can -observe their phenomena, and trace their effects; but, as they are in -themselves nothing more than the various states of an ever-changing -something which we can never exactly comprehend, no abstract -disquisition upon them, even as they are found in the Athens, would -bear to be read, although one should be at the trouble of writing it. -When we grapple with them in real flesh and blood, and can say that -this is Archy Campbell, or this his Majesty’s Advocate,--that this is -Mrs. Macspine, who studies the Differential Calculus,--or that Lady -Macfidget, who calculates differences, or makes them for other people’s -calculation,--then the gentle readers draw their chairs together, and -prepare for that most delectable of all entertainments,--the dissection -of an individual character; but when we treat of the disembodied -virtues or vices, we are allowed the sole and exclusive benefit of our -lucubrations. - -Still, it is impossible to overlook the rapidity with which all -sorts of things whisk about in the Athens, and how cleverly her -ladies and gentlemen creep into the nut-shells of science, or the -whispering-corners of scandal; or how dextrously they contrive to -make one thing answer many purposes. It is impossible that any -people, and more especially a people so ardent and so educated as -the Athenians, can be without a reasonable commodity of love; but -the talking apparatus is so sensitive to the slightest touch, and -vibrates so instantaneously over the whole city, that this commodity -cannot be brought into action in the ordinary way. Accordingly, the -various systems of philosophy which have from time to time warmed and -gladdened the Athenians, have been, in a great measure, a succession -of bows and quivers for the artillery of Cupid. Sometimes they were -awkward enough for this purpose; and the barbs and feathers of those -instruments of man’s mischief, sticking out at the ends of arguments -against revelation, or disquisitions upon cause and effect, had -rather a ludicrous appearance. When Smellie brought the philosophy of -beasts into vogue, matters mended a little; and youths and virgins -sauntered away into the fields for the pure and intellectual purposes -of investigating the origin and progress of lambs and linnets. The day -of the botanists was equally favourable for erotic purposes; and when -the researches of Doctor Hutton had made the fairy-rings upon Arthur’s -Seat matter of philosophy, thither winded the philosophic fair of the -Athens, under the soft beams of the chaste moon, just to see whether -they could catch a glimpse of the green elves, capering and dancing to -the tune of “Catherine Ogie,” as Scotch fairies had been known to do -from time immemorial. - -But the best system that ever came into general practice and belief, -has proved to be that of the skull-men,--a system which, though the -Athenians gainsayed it a little at the outset, they have subsequently -fallen deeper into than any other people upon the earth or moon; and -in a truly-bred Athenian company, you are sure to have your cranium -thumbed over by every lady and gentleman. This is an excellent -system, if there be truth in it; and indeed, whether there be truth -in it or not, it brings the papillæ of the fingers, whose very use is -the receiving of impressions, into contact as it were with the very -elements of the soul; and when the delicate fingers of a lady are -measuring the base and altitude of No. 1. in a gentleman’s neck, there -is every chance that the embers of the tender passion, if they have not -previously been charred to incineration, shall blaze or burn. - -Nor is this the only use to which the Athenians apply this philosophy. -They are so quick in their perception, that they instantly know the -strong and the weak points of your character, and they regulate -their proceedings accordingly. If, for instance, your indications of -combativeness be strongly developed, they are sure never to offer the -least insult; but if you be wanting in those indications, they make you -feel it. If your forehead shows wit, they are exceedingly humdrum and -metaphysical; but if the contrary, they treat you with quips and puns -without end. Knowing from the peculiar structure and exercise of their -own admiration, that people admire the most that in which they excel -the least, they make sure of shining by turning the conversation to -those subjects of which, judging from your organization, you have the -least. - -The religion of the Athenians is, perhaps, one of their greatest -peculiarities: they,--meaning the people of consideration, and not the -populace,--are the most religiously irreligious people that one can -imagine. A few years ago, when it was the fashion to be sceptical, -the very name of going to church stamped a man as belonging to the -veriest vulgar; but the kirk has again come into vogue, and it is -now just as much a mark of vulgarity not to go there, as it then was -to go. If, however, the value of their church-going were to be tried -by their conduct during the week, its moral advantages would not be -found great. But it answers many purposes: the official men find -their interest in being kirk-elders; ladies and gentlemen see each -other; and after so pious and praise-worthy a thing as church-going, -there can be little harm in an assignation, or an adjournment to a -tavern-dinner,--occurrences which are very frequent upon the evenings -of Athenian Sundays. When you have witnessed the deep and prolonged -potations of some Athenian worthy upon the Saturday night, when you -have heard the racy jokes and anecdotes with which he enlivened his -cups, and when you have marked how small store he set by the principles -as well as the practices of religion, you wonder at the calm face that -he puts on as he stands at the church-door, watching the pence and -sixpences that are thrown into the charity-plate. It is all a cloak, -however, and like other cloaks, the more cumbrous that it is, it is the -sooner cast off. One cause of its being put on at all, may be, that -the fashion of the higher classes going to church carries the lower -classes there also; and nobody can pass the receiving hoard, which is -watched by a provost or a judge, without contributing something to the -increase of voluntary charity; which being thus obtained from the poor, -prevents the necessity of levying so large contributions on the rich. -I have stated this reason, not only because it is both pleasurable and -profitable, but because, whatever it may be in its primary intention, -in its ultimate result it is good. Every thing which tends to place -the labouring classes, if but for a moment, or during the performance -of a single act, upon the same level with those who do not labour, is -highly advantageous to them; and thus, admitting that the Athenians go -to church as well to save their pockets as to compound for the doings -of the week, the said Athenians do, upon that account, deserve nothing -but praise. - -Leaving the church-going, and subsequent feasting and flirtation out -of the question, there is something peculiar in an Athenian Sabbath: -it seems as though useful labour and innocent amusements were the only -things that deserve to be suspended. The advocates are a privileged -class, and it is no scandal in them to drudge at their cases. As -little is there any harm whatever in oral discussion of any subject -imaginable; but if a maid-servant were to hum a tune, an advocate’s -wife to give a thump to the piano-forte, or a boarding-school miss -to peep into a new novel, the Athens would be in the utmost jeopardy -of sinking in the Forth, in which the sinner would have some chance -of being ducked. It must not, however, be supposed that among such a -people as the Athenians, the Sunday is a day of idleness. It is no -such thing; for with both men and women, it is the choice and chosen -day of the week, set apart to all manner of gossip and enjoyment; and -though it be not the fashion for the people to listen to the music of -instruments, or read profane books, yet the music of woman’s tongue is -soft and sweet, and the book of fate is opened. Whether the present -church-going propensity of the Athens shall continue, is a question -that it would be difficult to solve; but that the Athens will continue -to enjoy herself upon Sunday nights, may be received into the catalogue -of truths that are demonstrated. - - - - -CHAPTER XI. - -SUNDRY QUALITIES OF THE ATHENS, IN SUPPLEMENT. - - - “In Ethiopia there is a lizard, - Green on the grass, but golden on the sand, - Of slender form and many-tinctured skin: - Of this, when you suppose that you have counted - The tints and glosses, straight the creature turns, - Or you but step aside, when lo, it seems - As new and strange as ever. What you noted - Is all errata, and your task of telling - Is never at an end.” - -THE wonderful agility with which the Athenians skip about from opinion -to opinion in other matters, and the great faculty which they show in -altering the attitude and aspect of that everlasting subject, their -own city, render it next to impossible to give a likeness of them that -shall be accurate for one moment beyond the time that you are taking -it. Indeed, if you be not all the readier at your pencil, the chance -is that there shall be no congruity or keeping among the features and -limbs that you sketch. What you begin with as a Jupiter, you have a -chance of ending with as a Vulcan; your Apollo glides into a satyr, -and your Venus becomes a hag under your hands. If you would paint a -philosopher, however limber or however large you design him, he changes -to a driveller or a dandy before you know what you are about; and -when you follow him to his home, in order to contemplate the progress -of those great things with which he is to enlighten and astonish the -world, you find the whole of his mighty mind occupied in fitting false -shoulders to his waistcoat, or dipping his whiskers in the essence of -Tyne, till the tale run down his cheeks in purple demonstration as he -flounders along in the ball-room. Under such circumstances, I ought not -to be blamed, although the light in which I have attempted to represent -the Athenians be not that in which they may have appeared to others; -nor ought they who fancy that their picture is more accurate than -mine, to allow themselves to fall into that idolatrous worship of the -Athenian gods; for they may rest assured that there can be more than -two pictures of the Athens, all very unlike each other, and yet all -very like the original. - -The _wit_ of the Athenians may be considered as one of their -“fundamental features,” for many reasons, and for this among the rest, -that it mainly consists of punning, which is accounted the lowest -stratum, and therefore the foundation of all wit whatsoever. It is of -various kinds and degrees, according to the class of persons among whom -it passes current; but still the basis of every Athenian witticism is -a pun, and every Athenian, though he should be nothing else, is sure -to be a punster. There are two original species of Athenian pun,--the -legal and the learned: the first is said to have been introduced -by the late Henry Erskine, and the second is contested by the late -Professor Hill, Dr. Brewster, and others. Whether this be true at all, -and if true, how far the truth of it extends, I am not either bound -or prepared to say, but certain it is that those learned and humorous -persons get more of it laid at their door than do any others now in -existence; and the “gentleman of the Dunciad” who was “determined -that every good thing should be Shakspeare’s,” has many praise-worthy -imitators in the Gem of the North. You cannot meet with an idle draper -yawning at the door of a shop, who has not some good thing of Harry -Erskine to tell you; nor is there a student within the Athenian college -who has not John Hill by rote. Brewster, indeed, is not so often -quoted; but Brewster is still alive, and what is more, he holds no -public function or situation of any great consequence. - -I went to view the Advocates’ Library, in company with two of that -faculty; and they edified me with sundry choice sayings of the immortal -Harry. I remarked, that it was singular that the advocates, the most -illustrious body within the Scotch seas, should have been the last to -have a hall in which to contain their collection of books. “The same -remark was made,” said my conductor, “to the late Honourable Henry -Erskine, and he said a very clever thing upon the subject.” I very -naturally gave him that wishing and inquiring look, which brings out -a good thing without any preamble; and he, after working a-while at -his ears, hemming, and rubbing his spectacles, said, “Why, Sir, I must -condescend, _in limine_, that the Dean of Faculty, (Mr. Erskine was -once Dean, and the title continues longer than the office,) was a great -wit, and that ‘a mortification,’ according to our vocabulary, means a -bequest of money or property of any kind; and, having given in this -condescendence, I will proceed to the argument of the case. Well, Sir, -a gentleman was remarking to the Dean, the shame that it was to the -faculty, that they had not a better apartment for their library. ‘We -shall get it some time, and get it in a Christian way,’ said the Dean, -with that happy look which always indicated that there was something -to come. ‘Why in a Christian way?’ said the gentleman. ‘Because,’ said -the Dean, ‘we shall get it through the _mortification of our members_,’ -at which the gentleman laughed very heartily.” I, of course, had no -choice but to laugh also, although the wit ran a little too slow for -me; but my laugh was taken with more cordiality than I had grace to -give it with, and that was a signal for more of the same kind, of which -I may mention a specimen or two. A case was argued one day before Lord -Braxfield, in which the counsel had rather exposed a position which -that hasty judge had laid down a few days previous; and his lordship -was so much irritated, that he snatched up a ruler, and brandished it -at the counsel, as much as to say, “if I had you out of court, I would -cudgel you.” “What does he mean by that?” said an English barrister -who happened to be present. “He is doing that which you must have -done often,” said Erskine, “he is _taking a rule to show cause_.” -“Why that is rather a novel rule to take in a court of justice,” said -the Englishman. “Not at all,” replied Erskine, “it is merely a rule -_nisi_.” One of the latest of Erskine’s witticisms that were repeated -to me was that of the two Macnabs, father and son,--the first of whom -was chief of that sept of the Celts, and the other the author of a -system of the universe, too sublime even for Athenian comprehension. -The chief was the most patriarchal as well as the most powerful man of -his day, and the number of his sons and daughters rivalled that of some -of the illustrious patriarchs of olden time. Harry Erskine said, that -“these two Macnabs were the two greatest men that ever had lived, for -the one could make a world, and the other could people it.” Another -saying of his was very often repeated to me, but I confess I never -could see the point of it. A Tory lawyer, of feeble body and feebler -mind, was elevated to the bench, and the Athenians supposed that a -Whig, remarkable alike for his talents and the slowness of his motions, -had been improperly overlooked, while the little Tory was promoted. It -was remarked to Erskine, that they “had put the cart before the horse.” -“No,” said Harry, “they have not done that, they have only put the -ass before the elephant.” Another time, when a client was hesitating -into which of the hands of two writers to the signet he should throw -himself, somebody said, he was like the ass between the two bundles -of hay. “No,” said Erskine, “he is like the bundle of hay between the -two asses; for, whichever way he goes, he will be eaten up.” This -species of pun is mostly confined to Whigs, or gentlemen who have some -pretensions to literature or taste; and in as far as intellectuality -can be predicated of such matters, it may be called the _pun -intellectual_. From Harry Erskine, the intellectual pun of the Athenian -barristers does not appear to have descended full and entire to any -one individual. A small piece fell to the share of George Cranstoun; -but he is too independent for using it, and therefore he is said to -have laid it out at interest for the benefit of the next generation. -John Archibald Murray got a slice, but it was from the side upon which -the article had lain for some time, and thus it is said to be somewhat -musty. Jeffrey got a choice cut, but he is said to have carried it so -long in his breeches-pocket, among slips of the Review, that it is as -hard as granite. Cockburn got a large piece out of the very middle, but -he is reported as having stuck it over so thickly with sugar-plums, -that the original owner would have great difficulty in knowing it. The -kissing-crust, and a dainty crust it is, fell to the share of John -Clerk, but John is said to have soaked it so much in butter, that -delicate stomachs are unable to bear it. After such a distribution, it -seems exceedingly doubtful whether the whole can be again reunited; and -while one laments the cutting up of the thing itself, one is amused -at the more slender Whiglings, who run about showing, boasting, and -smacking the waste-paper in which it was originally wrapped up. - -There is another species of legal pun, which first came to maturity -under M’Queen, of Braxfield. This may be styled the pun _ad hominem_, -and is calculated to depress the spirits in the same ratio as the other -is calculated to raise them. While I was in the Athens it was by no -means common in the Parliament-House, but I was told that it forms a -standard dish at all loyal and official feasts, and that upon ordinary -occasions it lies in Blackwood’s shop for the inspection of the curious. - -The learned pun is of several kinds, according to the class by whom it -is used. That which was brought to perfection by Professor Hill was a -sort of polyglot. For instance, in order to indicate learning, and wit, -and tea, the Professor inscribed his tea-chest with the word “_doces_,” -and when upon a cold winter day, one of his students kept bawling -“_claude ostium_;” so loud as to give annoyance, the Professor turned -upon him with “_claude os tuum_,” which gained him more admiration with -the Athenians than if he had rivalled Porson himself. - -None of those kinds of punning are, however, to be regarded as purely -Athenian. They were all invented or improved by strangers; and if -one wishes to become acquainted with the genuine Athenian pun in -all its simplicity, one must seek it at those coteries of small -philosophers and blue-stockings, which are found at Athenian suppers, -more especially on Sunday evenings, for it is by much too delicate and -weakly a thing for lasting even till the day following. - -The whole sports and amusements that are peculiar and congenial to -the Athenians seem to be regulated by a kind of Salique Law. They -being such as females can neither join in nor, in most instances, -witness. They are of two kinds: the amusements of the tavern, and the -amusements of the turf. In the former, “high jinks,” and the other -harmless fooleries of the olden time, have given place to the orgies -of hell-fire clubs, and others that are better undescribed; but in -the latter, “golf” and “curling” continue to divide the year, and the -wisdom of the Athens may be seen during the summer exercising itself -daily in urging the ball upon Bruntsfield-Links, and during the winter -in hurling large stones along the ice upon the Loch of Duddingstone. -Although there be many good places for walking in the vicinity of the -Athens, no such thing is known as a public promenade--that is forbidden -on Sunday, and, except a trot along Princes Street, and a moon-light -turn around the Calton, the gentlemen of the Athens are too busy, -either in doing something, or in doing nothing, for promenading during -the week. Drive there is none, and it is not much to be regretted, for -there is absolutely nothing to be driven. - -Another small feature in the character of the Athenians is the high -and supercilious disdain with which they affect to look down, not -merely upon their fellow-Scotchmen, but upon all the world. How they -originally came by this quality, it would not be easy to determine, and -therefore it is, perhaps, needless to inquire; but, as it is permanent -and general, it must have something upon which it permanently feeds. -It is by no means peculiar to those who are born in the Athens; for no -sooner does a Lowland clown take up his locality there as a writer’s -clerk, than he begins to toss up his head at the land which produced -and fed him, and “writes himself _armigero_; in any bill, warrant, -quittance, or obligation, _armigero_.” And no sooner does a tattered -and trowserless _Rorie_ escape from the wilds of Sutherland, or the -woods of Rannoch, to lug half an Athenian fair one from tea-party to -tea-party, than “she is a shentlemans, and teuks her whisky wi’ a ‘Cot -tam’ like a loört;” and, in fact, it seems a contest between those -two sets of worthies, which shall take the lead in Athenian dandyism. -Indeed, in personal grace at least, the “shentlemans” must be allowed -to have much the better of the “armigero.” Light food and long -journeys give to the former great buoyancy of spirits, and elasticity -of muscle; and it is wonderful to notice, with what a dignified and -chieftain-like air, they thumb a pitch-black pack of cards, or “teuk -oot the linin’” of a quart pot of small beer, or quartern of the dew of -the mountains, as they hold their morning levee at a corner in Queen -Street or Abercrombie Place. The “armigero,” on the other hand, is as -gawky-looking an article as it is possible to meet with, or even to -conceive. His feet, which probably not six weeks previous were dragging -a stone weight of shoes and mud, through the clay of Gowrie, or the -tough loam of Lothian or Fife, are squeezed into a pair of boots, upon -which they are taking vengeance, by stretching the leg an inch and a -half over every side of the heel; his great red hands, put you more in -mind of lobsters than of any thing human, and they are dangling from -his shoulders as if each articulation were strung with wire; and when -his deep and dismal Doric is drawled out into what is reckoned the -fashionable accent in the Athens, you can liken it to nothing but a -duet composed of the love songs of Jack Ass and Tom Cat. In consequence -of the number of those two classes of Athenian dandies, dandyism of a -higher order is banished. I mentioned formerly that there is no such -thing either as a drive or an article driven (quills always excepted,) -anywhere about the Athens; and therefore no fashionable gentlemen -could endure the association of the Athenian pavé. If such men should -by accident get there, he would not be eclipsed, but he would be -absolutely buried under the thick mass of the turf of the mountains, -and the clods of the valleys. - -Perhaps it is this total absence of every thing elegant in the shape of -man from the public streets and walks of the Athens, that has given so -singular a twist to the minds and manners of the Athenian fair. Those -dandies, instead of being objects for admiration, are subjects for -criticism; and when an Athenian belle first quits her bread and butter, -and flits forth to conquer the world--heedless of the fact, that such -was the condition of a dear papa ere he _booed_ himself into some -government office, “processed” (I do not use that word in the Yankee -meaning,) into the management of some laird’s estate, or the estate -itself--she curls up her nose at these, the only “creatures” that she -meets, with so much force as to give it, as Dr. Barclay would say, “a -sidereal aspect” for life. For a long time she holds fast her aversion; -but though her nose be elevated, her fortunes do not rise along with -it. Time drives the wheels of his curricle across her countenance, -and there is no filling up the ruts which they leave. Meanwhile the -despised clerks become wigged advocates, or wily solicitors; and the -lady stretches her neck over her six-pair-of-stairs window, to catch a -glance of the bustling man of business whom she despised and contemned -when he was a Princes-street walking boy, and would have accounted her -society and countenance the very choicest thing in the world. Time, -who is the most delightful of all visitors during the early stage -of his acquaintance, gradually introduces his friends; and at last, -old hobbling Despair is admitted into his coterie. In some places, -the ladies to whom he has been introduced seek their quietus at the -card-table; in others, they abandon this world for the next, and very -frequently choose the by-paths to heaven--because a way thronged with -dissenting ministers is always a sort of love-lane, in which a lady may -at least gather the dry stalks of those flowers which she neglected -to pull while they were in season. But in the Athens they go another -way to work,--they dip their stockings in heaven’s azure, pass through -the hoops of small philosophy to the heaven-ward attic, (from which, -perchance, the Athens takes its name,) and thence launch the bolts of -their criticism against all the world below--that is, all the world of -their own sex, and below their own age. - -Thus have I with, as an Athenian _Literatus_ would say, “the softest -feather dipt in mildest ink” and with uniform watchfulness against -unmerited praise and undeserved censure, noted down a few of those -features and traits which stamp upon the Modern Athens, the isolation -and individuality of her character, as she stands away from other -cities, and appears in herself. Had I followed her own _modus -operandi_,--had I torn in pieces the private characters of all to -whom I found it necessary to advert for the purposes of illustration, -and sported with the mangled fragments in the open streets,--had I -dug into their family vaults, and wantonly exposed the bones of their -ancestors to the gaze of every passer by,--and had I set the signet of -my approbation or disapprobation upon them, not on account of what they -were in themselves, but of whence they sprung, what they possessed, and -how they were connected,--then, assuredly, the spirit of my writing -would have been more in accordance with the Athenian spirit, and I -would have been loved, lauded, and adopted as a worthy and hopeful son -of the aspiring attic of the _Græcia mendax_. But such honour is not my -ambition; and therefore my study has been to describe things with all -the simplicity of truth, and, as in whatever bearing the semblance of -censure I have written, I have wished and attempted to be corrective -rather than caustic--to go to the causes of evil rather than to play -with the symptoms of it, I must conclude, that if any shall blame me -for the freedom of my words, they must do it because their hearts are -smitten, and not because their deeds are misrepresented. The Athens -boasts of herself as a model of elegance and of taste: I found her a -compound of squalour and of vulgarity. She boasts of her philosophy: I -found it pursuing thistle-down over the wilderness. She boasts of her -literary spirit: I found her literature a mere disjointed skeleton, or -rather the cast-skin of a toothless serpent. She boasts of her public -spirit: I found almost every man pursuing his own petty interests, by -the most sinister and contemptible means; and, perchance, the most -noisy of her patriots standing open-mouthed, if so that the very -smallest fragment of place or pension might drop into them. She boasts -of the encouragements that she has given to genius: I looked into the -record, and I found that every man of genius who had depended upon her -patronage, had been debauched and starved. She boasts of the purity of -her manners: I found the one sex engaged in slander as a trade, and the -other in low sensuality as a profession. Under those findings--and they -required not to be sought--I had no alternative for my judgment. When -she redeems herself from them, and becomes in reality even something -like what she would call herself in name, let her then make comparisons -with the Gem of ancient Greece. Let her give some proof that Minerva -Parthenon is her tutelar goddess; when she has done so, let her build -the temple to that divinity; and, as she finishes the sculpture of -the last metope, with deeds of her own worthy of being recorded, I -(as the Turk did when her countrymen completed the spoliation of the -ancient Athena,) shall to the completion of the merit which she claims, -subscribe - - - ΤΕΛΟΣ - - - LONDON: - Printed by WILLIAM CLOWES, - Northumberland-court. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Modern Athens, by Robert Mudie - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MODERN ATHENS *** - -***** This file should be named 51239-0.txt or 51239-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/2/3/51239/ - -Produced by Giovanni Fini, deaurider and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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